13 years ago
Arrangement Falls Short of Expectations


We received an email from a Sugar Baby this morning regarding a quite unsavory 2 day arrangement.

Apparently, her Sugar Daddy assured her that after flying her to LA, he would set her up in a plush resort, bestow her a minimum of 3 thousand dollars, and treat her to fine dinning and other luxuries.

According to this Sugar Baby, things didn’t turn out as planned. She says that after arriving in LA, she was picked up by the Sugar Daddy and told during their car ride that she would be lodging in a motel instead of a resort. Additionally, what he called a “quick lunch” was the closest thing she got to fine dining. She ended up using most of the five hundred dollars he gave her to pay for cab fare around the city, meals, and light shopping. When he didn’t answer his phone on the agreed day of departure, she had to arrange a cab ride all the way to the airport.

What can we learn from this?

Verify– You can’t put an insurance policy on an arrangement, but you can take steps to verify promises made. For example, if lodging at a resort or hotel is part of your arrangement, verify the bookings yourself.

Clarify– Be clear about what you want. Here’s a trick: repeat the keywords involved with your expectations several times during your correspondence. For example, if you expect to see your Sugar Baby wearing the red dress she wore in her profile picture, ask her if it would be possible. If she agrees, then remind her subtly yet often by repeating “red dress”, “special outfit”, “bring the picture to life” or other creative keywords or phrases related to your expectation.

Communicate– Maintain open communication during the entirety of your arrangement. If you experience difficulty communicating with your date, or worse, if you suspect they are lying to you, than use common sense judgment in deciding to continue an arrangement with them.

Let’s open this topic up. We know many of you have been there before, so if you wouldn’t mind, share some of your thoughts here.

Happy Dating!

19 Responses to “Arrangement Falls Short of Expectations”

  1. Roxsy says:

    Their are predators out there. In response to the guy who wanted you’re bank account info, it was probably to get your money. A bank account number, along with a few other pieces of info can then get someone your credit card info and so on. Be careful, never go anywhere or met anyone without letting someone know exactly where you are or what your doing.

    Older women on these sites are especially vulnerable. I was being bombarded with instant messages, and thinking that I had already talked to this person accepted chat. He emailed me and my computer was infected with a tracker sniffer program used to gather passwords, bank accounts etc. But I don’t bank online. Another guy had me on the phone checking out what appeared to be legitimate business websites, to confirm who he says he was. They looked almost legitimate, but something didn’t seem quite right. Checked out one of his professional certifications that he claimed to have, which he didn’t. And upon closer scrutiny of those webpages, I found out that alot of the links on the page were point and click with him getting the points.

    Be careful.

  2. sarong says:

    My sister hasIt

  3. I Dropped Over Thirty Pounds in One Month says:

    I was just now looking for information about this when I stumbled on your post. I’m only dropping by to say that I truly enjoyed reading this post, it is really well written. Are you considering writing more on this? It looks like there is more material here for future posts.

  4. MM says:

    thank you so much, I will take your great advise for sure. What is the best and most safe way to avoid cons when it comes to setting up financial support? cash, check, direct deposit with check etc?

  5. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    MM Run!! Do not give out your personal bank acct to anyone. A Real Sd will not demand sex from you or no pay. That is an escort he is looking for. Blow that loser off. Remember to always be safe. There are many cons out there.

  6. raine says:

    Hey, MM; I’m fairly new here myself but still learning plenty. With that said, DROP HIM. His demands are not normal — apparently, since he wants to withhold information, he’s looking for an escort! If you haven’t deleted your acct, keep looking. Good luck. 😉

  7. MM says:

    When meeting with a SD who asks for immediate intamincy during first meeting, should we ask them to provide us with the financial support first before intamincy happens or ? He said on the phone that I should bring my account info and give it to him on the first meeting and he will set it up a week later but he insisted that during the first meeting we must be intamite. Is his request normal? He keeps saying he is very wealthy and own businesses but he will not give me his last name or the name of his businesses. He also asked me to delete my profile since he wants to meet me and he said he will to since he specifically mentioned he only wants to be in an arrangement with one person. I stopped my profile, but I noticed he never deleted his.
    thank you for letting me know if I should meet with him or move on. what should I do? Should I say no to intamicy until he supports me financially?

  8. Gello says:

    VRy interesting to read it 😛 😀

  9. www.apaju-tuerkei.de says:

    I found your topic “Sugar Daddy Blog » Blog Archive » Arrangement Falls Short of Expectations” when i was searching for downunder travel insurance and it is really intresting for me. If its OK for you i would like to translate your topic and post it on my german blog about downunder travel insurance. I link back to your topic of course!

  10. sweetredhead says:

    I agree with southern, First meet he should be willing to fly to you. After that if you can fly to him then it can be arranged.

  11. SuthrnExec says:

    Kitten, most of the folks are over on the newest blog topic, “Biting Tongues: Unspoken Sugar Thoughts”. You should go there and pose your question.

    However, before you go over there, my opinion is that the SD would go to you and meet you in your city for the first meeting, or meet under conditions that you are completely comfortable.

    I won’t continue here but encourage you to go to the current blog topic and pose your question. You’ll get multiple responses from SBs and SDs.

    Good luck!

  12. Kitten says:

    Hi there. I have a potential SD meeting set up and I’m pretty sure we will be able to meet within the next week. He said he could fly me to where he will be and we will have dinner and get to know each other but how do I, along with him, verify the flight/hotel arrangements in a safe manner?

    Could someone please help me out with this situation? I’m new to the whole sd/sb of dating.

  13. lisa says:

    I am wondering upon possibly meeting a potential sd next week how to handle the first meeting. I have met several guys on this site, and one was just coffee and he made plans with me and then disappeared. One turned into a short relationship with an allowance, the last two were shopping sprees on the first meeting, but we didnt’ see each other after that, nothing intimate happened either as they were gentlemen.
    This new one is married and limited on his meeting times which means no nights out on the town, no nice dinners, probably no lunches either as his time is limited. He has had this kind of relationship before. If I meet and proceed with the man (I have been having a dry spell lately so I can’t be too picky as they don’t come by too easy) it will probably be nothing more than an occasional intimate relationship similiar to one I had with another married guy who wasn’t a sd. I feel that I should get some compensation in addition to an allowance being that I won’t be wined and dined.
    the way my schedule is if I do meet his this next week, I won’t be able to meet him a second time till the next week because I work most days and he can only meet morning so although I have free time in early evening, it won’t work for him. I would like to ask for some kind of financial gift on our meeting since I really need money and have been strugling for weeks and don’t want to wait till we get together again to see if he comes through for me. He lists a generous range for his budget and I just want to make sure he is serious. I will be giving up my day off to meet him (meeting in the morning means I won’t get to sleep late and it will be too early for lunch so I won’t be getting any lunch even.
    I want to give this guy a chance but need to know the best way to approach the financial situation as I am not looking forward to giving up alot of my free time on a very busy day for me just to have a cup of coffee

  14. Steve says:

    May I offer some advice to all on this site: Men and women should BOTH be careful. Women: do NOT travel to meet a man for the first time …. no matter how good he sounds. If he is a gentleman, he will understand that the first meeting should be in the woman’s hometown at a public place. If you are within driving distance, meeting half-way is very appropriate. Both should be prepared to prove that they are who they say they are and a man has more of a responsibility to reassure and make this wonderful lady more comfortable. Exchanging e-mails and phone calls before meeting is an absolute necessity. If a man or woman will not e-mail or talk on the phone before hand, move on. Also: many of us have had the misfortune of traveling a great distance at great expense only to find that the other person has posted and sent photos >10 years old …. or worse, those of another person! (Didn’t happened to me but did happen to a woman friend of mine.) I make this one small suggestion: each of you takes a full-length photo in the mirror holding a hand-written sign that says “Hi …… (the other person’s name)” with your hand holding the camera clearly visible. That way, you know the photo is current and real. If the other person says that is not necessary or insulting or makes excuse after excuse (“I don’t photograph well”, “I don’t have a camera”, etc. etc.) and refuses to do it, move on. They are hiding something. If a person is honest, legitimate, and interested in you, these small gestures will be no problem. Proving net worth is darn near impossible so ladies, please be aware. But if he pays with an AmEx Platinum or Black card at dinner, rest assured!

    I wonder what others think of this.

  15. aussiegirl80 says:


    Being a new user to SA.com, and am down under in Australia – i was somewhat shocked and surprised that people ARE so generous and other’s just blow them off!

    I can appreciate both sides of these stories – (A1derfulguy4u/cupcake) and hope it never happens to me.

    But, all I can say is that – I hope those who have had some less than pleasant experiences; have had a few positive encounters since first writing???

    cheers for now!


  16. cupcake says:

    To a1derfulguy4u,

    My guess is that maybe the sugar babies you had encountered were too afraid of what they might find. One of my fears of flying to an unfamiliar area to meet someone is what if they turn out to be some creep? What then?

    And also, how do you know you can trust someone if you’ve yet to meet face to face? Anyone have any input?

  17. I’ve had trouble getting potential sugar babys to follow thru, I have purchase several round trip airline tickets only to experence a no show, I dont understand why a sugar baby would let you purchase a ticket and than not show up. Any suggestions?

  18. DD says:

    I think most of the sugardaddies lie about what they make.
    I have met a man months ago. He invited me to an European City. Treated me with the nicest restaurants, hotel, shoes, etc.
    Then we enter a sexual relationship and the good days were over. In fact he was a BIG LIAR, and what bother me the most he that he is still advertising himself on the SA website… Just be very careful girls xx

  19. confused says:

    I believe this person is lucky to have gotten that much out of it. I find many guys are lying about what they make and what they are worth and are reluctant to make any kind of arrangement about money. I have found most guys want to enter a sexual relationship first and then see if they want to help the lady out financially later down the road. The main reason I have yet to find a sugardaddy.