11 years ago
Married Sugar Daddies

11 years ago
Married Sugar Daddies

Sugar Baby “ButterCup” Gives Married Sugar Daddy Advice

(ButterCup Writes)

Married men are a different kind of Sugar Daddy. I am currently seeing a married man. At first I thought it was the best option, since I’d have more free time at night and on weekends, and it would put a concrete limit to any emotional escalation.

I am very attached to him now, but if I had to start all over again, I would choose a non married Sugar Daddy, here’s why:

If your Sugar Daddy lives with his wife, the only time you will get to talk to him on the phone is from around 10AM to 7PM on weekdays, and the occasional unexpected alone moments. Trust me babe, it gets really hard from 7PM to 10AM, or weekends, when you know he’s living his real life and you have no part in it.

When dating a married Sugar Daddy, there will always be the time where he tells you about his wife. The wife is like a third, silent person in your relationship with him. The duration of the relationship in a lot of cases depends on her not finding out about the arrangement. If she finds out, you can most likely forget about your Sugar Daddy. It is also possible that if she gets sick or has an accident, your Sugar Daddy will decide that he has to be there for her, and end your relationship. So although a single Sugar Daddy might be fickle because of personal tastes, a relationship with a married Sugar Daddy can be quite unstable.

How To Avoid His Wife FInding Out…

* do not wear perfume when you meet him

* do not use his hairbrush

* if you have to walk in the street, walk at a small distance from each other

* do not make unreasonable requests

* do not suggest any changes (perfume or appearance) – she WILL notice

* NEVER leave notes he might want to keep

* do not call him outside his “out of home” time, even to leave a voice mail

(these are only things YOU can do, doing them does not guarantee that your SugarDaddy will do all the things a married Sugar Daddy should do to stay safe and not hurt anyone’s feelings)

Some married Sugar Daddies have to be careful with their expenses, as most of them have their credit card bills sent at home where they can be scrutinized and analyzed by their wives. This means they can’t easily do things such as buy plane tickets online, pay for your phone bill in a minute if you have a problem, buy you gifts online, take you on major shopping sprees (you can only walk around with so much cash), pay for hotel rooms, or even transfer money into your account. Of course, some are smarter and have a credit card whose bill is sent to their office and will use it to spoil you, but they don’t all have one already, and it might take a while.

If only Saks Fifth billed credit cards as “worldemail.com” 😀

Last but not least, the room for being spontaneous is greatly reduced in a relationship with a married SugarDaddy. Unless his family is on holidays at the other end of the world for a month, there is little chance you and him can act on whim and impulse together. This can be less fun, especially if you like spontaneity.

So here’s my little “article” about married Sugar Daddies 😀 Of course darling, if you have to choose between a married man you really like and a single man you like a lot less, go for the married one, but know what you’re in for before jumping in.

Good luck babe, let us know how it goes!

LOVE buttercup

aww writing this post made me sad 🙁

(Stephan from SeekingArrangement.com Writes)

Thank you SO much for sharing ButterCup!!!

*Hands ButterCup the “SugarBlogger Of The Week Award”* You needn’t be sad Butter, we love you 😀 !!!

Are there any other Sugar Babies or Sugar Daddies who date married? What have you learned that might be helpful for others to know?

Comments ON

(*this post was submitted to [email protected], all “sd” and “sb” original quotes were expanded to “sugar daddy” and “sugar baby” respectively by the editor)

Leave a Reply

49 Responses to “Married Sugar Daddies”

  1. I need to find my sugardaddy right now. To have a great time with him.

  2. I really love this ideal is great

  3. Candies says:

    Hi … Is the anything wrong with what i said?

  4. Candies says:

    Hi … Is the anything wrong with what i said

  5. Candies says:

    I love my sugar daddy n thats the whole point although his married n have a family ,i dont love his money but not saying he cant afford me n something i love about him he dont take me into his house he takes me to guest house n spend time together there,when am around him i feel free and special he doesn’t make me feel any yonger he listen to the same music i listen (hip pop) n dance together his silly,naughty and playful .he doesn’t mention his family or Wife when we are together we juss talk about us and he satisfy me .everytime when am with him he create sweet brand new memories i juss love him i see nothing wrong with dating him or feel any ashamed!#JussHavingFunYolo

  6. tameks davis says:

    I need a side thats gonns treat me rite and I treat them rit

  7. Married People Dating says:

    Hi! Nice article. You should add a “donate” button – you should get money for this;)

  8. Федор Малкин says:

    Вот это да… В некоторые жизненные моменты волосы могут шевелиться и не только на голове 🙂

  9. Lupinacci says:

    Nice post. There’s a similar topic thats related to this in Yahoo answers or Google groups, I think. I’ll find the link and post it back here.

  10. Shawn Says says:

    Thanks for the tips on avoiding getting caught, I hadn’t thought it out that far.

    I am a married SD that is looking right now for a younger SB in SF. I think for the SB, a married man might be more stable. I can’t have two, I can’t have another girlfriend and any business trips I take, she is going. I will be reluctant to dump her for another because of the time involved in finding the new one. I will also treat her better than a single SD because she is given me something I can’t get from anywhere else as a married man (it isn’t just sex. Its respect and appreciation). I think she has more control than you might suspect.

    A single SD is in control at all times and doesn’t need his SB in reality. After all, he is single. He can go out with the guys any night and do anything he wants. He can scout for new SB’s at will and has the time to do it.

    I can’t do that, I am married.

    Plus, the married SD can have a more defined schedule and some SB’s probably want that hard schedule. Maybe that SB doesn’t want that 10pm knock on the door. I am lucky, since I am by own boss and can work out of town at times, there are off limit times for me. I also travel the world occasionly without the family and so she can come along.

    I am not trying to be so biased it sounds like a pitch for me, because I have no profile here. These are just things I have seen in men. My nicest friends are all married. My single friends, especially the ones who are 40 and never married – not so nice. They are my friends, but they are jerks to women. Thats why they never married.

    This is just a viewpoint, nobody should get offended as each person is unique and there are bad married people and bad single ones too.

  11. Ormand says:

    I agree with you 99% but wonder if you have really looked at the whole picture. DOn’t mean to be critical just food for thought.

  12. Married Looking For Fun says:

    Lol! What is that??!

  13. Bилям says:

    Да уж Мне кажется в этом сообщении нет никакой логики 🙂

  14. sexy shauna says:

    i want 2 please u where she doesnt!!!!!!!!

  15. Married Looking For Fun says:

    Why you RSS is still for free?:))

  16. Friendship Quotes About Sisterhood says:


  17. cre8tor says:

    good comments Drew

  18. Drew10000 says:

    Sally and CRE8TOR
    Of course having fun is always the most important part of the endeavor. That can be more difficult if the need for discretion is high. I try to keep my expectations low at the beginning… being a second job is okay I just don’t want to be the first……And I don’t want to be the second if the first is another Sd.

  19. sally says:

    Well said cre8tor! I think it’s important to understand what your expectations are and how they will require a potential sugar dater to adjust their lives to accommodate your needs. If your need for discretion is relatively high, then you’ll have to be that more willing to accept the challenges of finding someone willing to deal with your fluctuating availability and the “idiosyncrasies” involved in covering. I don’t think there’s anything wrong, Drew, with being a married sugar daddy, but as a sugar baby who has fielded offers from married SD’s and single SD’s alike, I can say that it’s helpful when a potential married SD doesn’t just expect me to jump right on the secret train with him and to feel guilty if I’m not able to accommodate his special duplicitous needs. We all have to cover at some point, the idea here is to do it in a way that’s not guilt inflicting – but rather kinky and fun 🙂 😛

  20. cre8tor says:

    A productive SB? Would that mean a job that produces income? 🙂 I understand all the ramifications of a married SD. It is that situation that asks for understanding and acceptance from both parties. If you want her to be there when you want her, then her job is either on her own time or extremely flexible. Both usually mean not much in the way of financial self support. You kinda become her second job. Sounds harsh but if your requirements are to fit around your schedule as best as possible, that is what it becomes.

  21. Drew10000 says:

    Buttercup really speaks the truth ! Married Sd’s have little room for spontaneity And how can a married sd introduce you to his friends or take you anyplace where he would be seen…Also married Sd can’t take you to his house and Married Sds need to have an sb that is available during the day..Which is difficult if sb works or goes to school. I am a married SD but I have yet to find an sb that is productive but can live with all the idiosyncrasies that my marriage imposes

  22. Ben says:

    Cre8tor – I guess we’re supposed to stay anonymous here, but I’d be interested in chatting. Stephan may have to help. I had a SB for a short time, but she was very young and we have since split up – but it was more of a fading away than anything. Long story.

    I am still searching. I’m in the 38-42 range and am fit and fun. I have been on a few dates in the last month, but no real sparks yet. I just had one this past week where the potential SB told me how cute she thought I was and tried to close the deal right then. I think this is a good lesson for both sides – pressure doesn’t help, lol. I may still consider her, although (and this sounds strange for a guy, lol) her personality was more this issue than looks – I don’t think she made me laugh once during the whole date. Humor and laughter is key for me I guess. We can’t take things too seriously.

  23. cre8tor says:

    Ben: still searching? Wanna meet? Lol you sound like a very nice gentleman. How long to wait for intimacy? I guess every sb’s level of comfort is different but I think its reasonable to exchange emails, phone calls and then meet the first time. After that I would think you both should know if the expectations of intimacy can be discussed and move to. If its still a problem for the sb then maybe she’s just not into it and you will spend too much time taking care of her with reciprocation. No need to be demanding. I like this site because its upfront without judgment. Carry on with that.

  24. lisa says:

    I had a relationship with a married man for many years. He was alot older than me although I’m not very young myself. We started going to motels during the day (fortunately at that time my job allowed me freetime during the day). Little things like him not smelling like honeysuckle bodywash and not having any of my blond hairs on his carseat or shirt (gotta be careful if the guy is wearing a dark colored dressshirt as you don’t want to get makeup or leave hairs on it. I did wear perfume but since he showered afterwards he didn’t smell like perfume. My affair with him lasted for about 5 years so I know how to be discreet. I actually would prefer a married sugardaddy as it is somewhat normal for a man who has a wife and famiily to maybe want something different and just for him, a little variety rather than just leaving his wife, whereas I am a little weary of the single man (especially one in his 40’s and older) that doesn’t have time or want a serious relationship. A sugardaddy/sugarbaby relationship should enhance both parties already satisfactory lives not be a substitute for a real relationship or marriage. Why would an attractive single man want to spend lots of money on a woman in exchange for intimacy when he could meet a real girlfriend and have a regular dating relationship? Maybe he just doesn’t have time to commit to a regular relationship but it seems odd that a single man would prefer it over a solid long term relationship with someone he would spend his life with. I would prefer a married sugardaddy as you know that many single men (regardless of how they portray themselves) have issues with relating and this is why some of them are alone. They are the ones you see that are still on the dating sites 2 or 3 years after you remember meeting them.

  25. buttercup says:

    Oh thank you Lisa!! I also do this, but it slipped my mind while writing the post! That’s a very important point, I hope it will help many of us 🙂



  26. lisa says:

    I wanted to add a little extra advice for those involved with married sds. I have not had a married sd myself but did have a long term relationship with a married man (ironically he had more time for me than any of the single men that I have dated). If he comes over to your place and showers before he leaves, make sure you have some Mens bodywash or soap as it wouldn’t be a good idea for him to shower with any flowery or fruity body wash or shampoo, etc.

  27. Ben says:

    Buttercup – sorry to hear about your struggle. I also wanted to apologize for back-to-back posts. I think dating a married man shoudn’t be ruled out. I love my wife, but also have a very big heart and really am looking for a long term SD/SB relationship where friendship, loyalty and even love could develop. No SB wants to be a homewrecker, but I could see marrying my SB eventually. I think we all can love more than one person at a time. I also I think can work very hard to make sure my SB gets the attention and affection she needs.

  28. Ben says:

    Hi all. I am a married SD and have been searching for a SB. I’ve met some great women here and many of them I think like the flexibility that a married SD provides. After all – we men can be pretty needy, lol. I do think that married men (of course I am biased) are often a better lot – we’re the ones after all that have been taken so hopefully we have something redeeming : ). As for how to approach a SD – I’ve had several women write to me saying they like my profile and that they are a great match – this is fine. I have one question for the SBs here – how and where do you make your needs known – and how long is a SD expected to wait before things get intimate? I always want to be a gentleman and not push the issue – but I also don’t want to get taken for a ride, paying months of allowance and getting no further than a peck on the cheek, lol. Thanks.

  29. SouthernGent2 says:

    I know I would never see a married SB. No exceptions. As for someone in another relationship, then I don’t think it is fair to keep her from that. But if her being in that relationship affects our sd / sb relationship, then that would become a problem that would have to be discussed and worked out.

  30. ddubs says:

    I’d still like to hear from everyone about the flip side of this topic.

    What do other SD’s think about seeing a married SB? or one who’s in another separate “committed” relationship?

    I’d prefer my SB not to be in one…and, it isn’t about wanting strings attached. I’ve had SB’s in other relationships, and how that one was going often had an impact on our’s. The SB would be moody, or more or less affectionate depending on what was going on. Also, an SB in another committed relationship wasn’t always available to travel and do things…


  31. Berri says:

    I had an amazing arrangement with a married SD from this site. I just got out of a LONG marriage and was not and AM NOT (lol) looking for anythign serious. I am sure many SB’s have experienced SD’s wanting serious arrangements….so I put very specifically in my profile that if you want your soulmate or future, please pass me by. Your profile is a great way to weed out the stuff you want or don’t want in an arrangement. Anywhoo, my married SD was perfect with an allowance, gifts and CONNECTION. We had a blast, in many different places. He became very attached to me and I felt our adventure as SD/SB should end. We remain friends but do not see each other. He will probably always be a good friend in my life but I do not want serious OR breaking up any marriage. I took some time off and am looking again but haven’t found anyone who measures up. I wouldn’t have changed it though. He’s probably happy he ruined me for other SD’s! Gotta love em! I try and live life with no regrets. Keep it positive. Look at the process as an adventure and have fun…or don’t even bother. Honestly, there are ugly and dishonest people in every aspect of life AND phenomenal, beautiful people too!!! I look for the latter and trust me..whatever your looking for -you will find! best of luck in everyone’s search!

  32. Be_A_Star says:


    Love ya too Stephen!!! I have another question. Looking for my first ever sugar daddy (proving interesting) what do you write if you want to initiate connect? Can any of the girl advise on what they write when an SD catches your attention? I’d love advise from both new girls who’ve received messages back and experienced girls. I’ve finally gotten over the getting upset about rejection part but am a little sick of wait for a guy to message me as I’ve read several profiles were the SD say so come on girl don’t be shy send me a message. So figure I need to change tactics. Oh stephen still working on new pics. Hopefully have some this weekend.

    Smiles B

  33. bostonTerrier says:

    i didn’t add a new photo or anything – i just attribute it to the fact that i was something different. most sugar babies on this site aren’t african american and i’ve recently learned some guys would prefer one but couldn’t find one they liked … it’s still kind of weird./new to me.

    i’m adjusting to it but i like it 🙂

    also, my profile was hidden until a few months ago, post my former [married] sugar daddy.

  34. Sweetbaby says:

    Hi, I thought I would join in this new blog thingy.

    I have a married sugar daddy and I find we have alot of time to spend together. It seems to be different for us mostly because his wife is always busy with her own things and he is his own boss and seems to do whatever he wants to.

    I have a question though, is it normal to meet your sugar daddies friends? I’ve met quite alot of my sugardaddies friends and we all go out together and they all seem to like me. But I do find it a bit weird sometimes that they all know he is married and don’t mind him and me. Of course most are male. I also sometimes go out with them as friends without my sugardaddy there and together we have acquired a group of friends together and his wife still does not know. What am I supposed to do when I break up with my sugardaddy? What happens to our friends/his friends?

    Thank you for any help you all can give me.

  35. stephan says:

    bostonTerrier: Interesting, so the last time you searched for a sugardaddy, You were sending most of the messages, but now most of the initial messages are coming to you? NICE!

    Well, I’ll be the first to ask… did you do something (add a new photo, etc) that you think helped get you more SugarDaddy responses?

  36. bostonTerrier says:

    i am back on the “search” but i am not as active in my search this time as i was last … now i am the one receiving mail while last time i was the one sending the messages so it’s gotten easier. there’s one guy who sticks out from the others … when i’m back in boston for the academic year i’ll know for sure.

    thanks for asking


  37. stephan says:

    HunnyBabe: WOW that’s AWESOME! Who’da thunk it? What are the chances of that!? Well I hope you to are keeping the sisterhood ALIVE! 😛

    bostonTerrier: Welcome and thanks for sharing! I suspect that your not the only Sugar Baby who’s felt that way when seeing the ring on your SugarDaddies finger. Keep us posted 🙂

    P.S. mind telling us if your back on the search, or if you have another SD now?

  38. bostonTerrier says:

    i had a married sugar daddy for about a year and it was rather awkward. i always felt a bit guilty when i saw the wedding ring on his finger … needless to say married sugar daddies are no longer for me.

  39. HunnyBabe says:

    Awwww….Steph i’ve missed u!!!!!!!!!!!…btw u might wanna know Buttercup and i are buddies now :D…and it turns out we live in the same city…funny uh???



  40. stephan says:

    Be_A_Star: Thanks!!!! Love Ya Star! 😀

  41. stephan says:

    Rosie: I’m Great How have you Been??? More details: The blog is finding its voice, and yes new people are starting to trickle in! My, my, you sound like me, spending 4 hours on the blogs lol 😛 I am truly surprised at how amazing the content on these blogs has been, thanks in part to you 😀 !

    still trying: Hello, glad you wrote in! 😀 Sending messages out is an essential part of finding the right sugardaddy, but it’s also easy to slip into feeling discouraged when a sugardaddy doesn’t respond. As far as sugardaddies who “lie about how much their willing to pay”, can you tell me if this is something you’ve experienced, or something you anticipate?

    Sherri: Welcome! Very unique sugardaddy experience indeed 😛 Are you looking for a SugarDaddy now, on the site? If not, then how’d ya find us?

  42. Sherri says:

    Hello to all. My experience with a sd who is married is quite unique. He was a business owner, as most are, and he would write a check for my allowance to a male member of my family and mail it to that individual, then my male family member (who didn’t ask questions-but knew I kept Highroller Boyfriends) would deposit the check into his account and give the money to me in any form I needed at the time. This was Great for avoiding being found out by my sugardaddy’s wife. Why would she question money going out to another man??!!!! Perfecto!

  43. Rosie says:

    Hey All. Sorry to get of the subject at hand but had to say Hi.
    Hi Stephan how you doing hon? I have to say it is great to see so many new people on. 🙂 It took me almost 4hrs to catch up on all the blogs LOL There is a lot of good stuff here. I got some really good tips to use when I come back and finally get a good SD. It is nice to hear that some of you new SB’s are meeting SD’s right away and for those of you that haven’t yet, you know what they say ” good things come to those who wait” lol.
    Well gotta go good luck to all and be safe!!

    Love Rosie

  44. still trying says:

    I thought I would leave a note with my 2 cents. I have been trying to get something going with a couple SD’s and let me tell you what its not easy. I have met one guy on here and he is married and it has been hard. They just had a baby so he tries to make sure that that comes first, which is great, but what I run into is well I don’t know if this day works or maybe this day…..it takes almost a month just to figure out one meet up time. 🙁 Most of the guys that I have been meeting on here are either rude by never responding to any of my emails, or letting me know if they are interested, or they lie about what they are really willing to pay for an allowance…..am I missing something here??

  45. Be_A_Star says:

    Hi Buttercup
    You are wonderful!!!! Thank you so much this is the kind of advice I was really looking for and some of it I’d never even considered. You’re also Awesome Stephen for making it into a blog. I’m not sure if it’s sadly or luckily the SD who was married has found someone else, I think he would have been difficult anyway had guilt issues.

    Smiles Beth

  46. little princess says:

    Hi !

    This is actually my first reply here on this blog.
    I found your article very interesting and thoughtful, buttercup. I could’nt agree with you more with everything you said. It is so easy to get attached even if you don’t want it.
    I also used to have a married sugardaddy, but we had a very good friendship between us and later on, I fell in love and had my own boyfriend, even moved to him to another country, but later he treated me really bad. and guess who was the best friend then? The married sugardaddy. I was able to leave my bf, start my studies and live a happy, young woman’s life.
    What is very true, buttercup, is that if you have a married sd and his wife gets suddenly sick or similar, he probably wont be able to be with you at least till the moment when the wife gets well.

    What I suggest from all my heart, is that to be with a married guy it is important to talk about what to expect from eachother what not. Your sd needs to understand that you will be dating with other and fell in love and you have to understand that he has a wife he wont leave. Also, there would not be any pain to noone if one of us decides to stop this arrangement. I advice to see your married sd as a friend and only. it wont make you feel jelous or bad/sad, etc. but just make the arrangement more enjoyable for both of you !

    Good luck to any Sugar Baby here !! 🙂
    sweet princess

  47. buttercup says:

    AWWW I can’t believe you made it a post!!! Thank you darling, that is so very sweet of you, I feel all cheered up now 😀


  48. HunnyBabe says:

    Don’t be sad Babe!!!! im online btw 😀