12 years ago
Life Before Sugar

12 years ago
Life Before Sugar


Not all Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies have the same story. I don’t think everyone’s here because they’re bitter about love, but rather because they’re realistic about life and the importance of being happy NOW. Is there a turning point at which you chose to play a different role in the dating game?

For all you arrangement virgins, keep in mind that just because this is a Sugar Daddy site, you don’t have to “play the role” of a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby. I was chatting with a friend this morning who says that she uses SeekingArrangement not for the money, but for the company; “I like to surround myself with successful, considerate, high-quality people… any Joe Shmoe 20 something can take me to a ball game, grab me a bite and call it a date… but I want a maverick”.

I’ve also met some Sugar Daddies who put sex near the bottom of the Sugar Baby wish-list. Plenty of Sugar Daddies favor conversation with a hot, sultry and stimulating woman over a quick romp.

Sugar Daddies: Is the idea of “becoming a Sugar Daddy” ridiculous, or is the term well suited? Before you started sugardating, did you have a different look/style than you do now? Has it enhanced your confidence? Do all of the young and attractive Sugar Babies make you want to hit the gym, buy a new car, address your MPB, etc? Basically, has becoming a Sugar Daddy made you beef-up your peacock feathers?

Sugar Babies: Come a long way in getting here? Probably! Most Sugar Babies take more than just a moment to decide whether finding a Sugar Daddy is the next “right step” for them. Are you like my friend Alicia who only dates Sugar Daddies for their company and business connections? I’d love to hear what or who gave you the extra push in getting here…was it your best friend? Reality TV shows? Your MOM?!

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16 Responses to “Life Before Sugar”

  1. Sherer says:

    So my husband has found a new hobby. I think its pretty cute, hes now into rock tumbling. He bought all these ugly rocks, and turned them into something fabulous. Well my question is, when is someone too old to be playing with these things? I mean wouldn’t you think it sounds kinda wierd that my husband plays with rock tumblers? Anywho, he got the idea from one of his buddies at work. I get a chance to do girls not out with my girlfriends now more often so I guess im not really complaining cause I missed hanging with my friends ever since we had the baby in all.

  2. worthlove says:

    I have to admit I have been on the scene for about three months. I have a few good sds’, but they often want to meet only once or twice a month. I am looking for “the” one. That guy that has it all and wants me, but won’t be trying to control or own me (as so often happens in conventional relationships). I also want my fream sd to be able to help me enough so that he can be my only sd. I think it is important to be careful (protect yourself) and be choosy (don’t go meet up with weirdos), and above all do not fake it! Yous should have real chemistry with your sd, if you can’t stand to kiss or hug him, then it’s just not worth it. I got into this because I did not want to quit college, but I still wanted a sense of independence. I did not want to depend on my son’s father and I did not want to depend on my parents. Ironic isn’t it? Because I am willing to let a wealthy man help me, but it’s different then saying “hey mom can I get soem money?”

  3. sweetredhead says:

    A true Sd wants to be more than just your benefactor You are going to miss a lot out of the experience if its “all about the money” just my opinion.






  5. Isaiah_18 says:

    This just seems like an exciting little secret to have in your closet. Especially a male being a sugar baby, I have always wondered whtat it was like. I had always dated “girls” with money but it wasn’t their money if you catch my drift…Women just seem to know the better of things and don’t deal with the bull which is especially what detracted me from being a normal dater/relationship person. Being a sugar baby is enticing, something great to experience!

  6. angela says:

    I have always been attracted to older men. I love their life experience, and all the wisdom they have to share, even about little things. No 20 yr old guy would ever teach me the things an older man would.

  7. cre8tor says:

    Feistyfilly: tough life decision. You sound like a very dynamic and driven woman which is attractive in its own way. Keep in mind though, if you are truly considering a sd/sb relationship, he wants you when he wants you and you should do all possible to make your schedule work for him…he’s paying for it. So, unless you find someone that is available according to your schedule, it will be just as difficult. I might caution you that love is not always the first thought in this type of relationship. Don’t set yourself up for different expectations.

  8. feistyfilly says:

    Hi All,
    I, too, am new to this website as well as the whole SD/SB “thing.” I honestly had no idea what to expect…reading these forums is giving me a good basic idea, though!
    Mainly, I’m here for one reason: I get lonely sometimes! Because of my lifestyle, traditional relationships have just not ever worked for me. I’m a very, veRY, VERY serious equestrian with very high goals, competition-wise, and my sport requires a level of commitment that guys have historically not dealt with well at all. My girlfriends who also ride (we’re all in the same boat) and I will sit around on overturned buckets at the barn and jokingly commiserate about the fact that “regular” boyfriends/husbands just don’t “get” that we aren’t going to be home cooking their dinner at 5 pm every evening…we work ungodly hours and can realistically fit in some companionship/affection maybe about once or twice a week, but the guys are just for some reason not ok with that. So what’s a girl to do? There’s got to be something in between a full-time traditional relationship and nothing at all! Something that doesn’t make us feel like we are selling out! I, for one, am a very affectionate person and have alot of love to give TO THE RIGHT PERSON…and that person isn’t the one that says “either the horses go or I go!” My horses are my life’s passion…is it so hard to understand that? It would be like me saying to a man that has children: “Choose between me and your kids!” Well, to any decent dad, that one is a no-brainer! So anyway, I’ve been sitting here on my farm for the past several years, loving my animals and enjoying life, but I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I’d be alone for the rest of my life because of my chosen lifestyle. Usually, I’m fine, but sometimes the loneliness is just too much to bear. I have too much to offer the right guy, the one who will be a true, understanding, supportive friend, to let that go to waste! Maybe I’ll find someone here who will truly appreciate me, for all that I am, and allow me to appreciate him in return!

  9. bostonTerrier says:

    for me it was curiosity. i knew about these sorts of relationships but didn’t really believe them and figured one day – as i was supposed to be writing a paper for a sociology class – i’d give it a shot.

    it’s nice to have the companionship of someone older both mentally and physically. the knowledge and experience, respectively, are pretty nice.

    now i am faced with the dilemma of picking between three potential sugar daddies … it’s hard to go back after you’ve had one!

    also, my dating life has changed a great deal as a result. my standards are so much higher and i’ve found myself talking to guys from MIT with 5.0’s and double engineering majors despite their nerdy exteriors – i don’t completely ignore someone because they’re not a spitting image of taye diggs, ll cool j, shemar moore, justin timberlake, matt dillon, matthew mcconaughey, mark whalburg, etc. my eyes have been open to the potential for a great relationship in guys i otherwise would’ve ignored.

  10. JetSetBaby says:

    Hey guys,

    This is my first post though i got bored the other day and caught up on some of the threads!

    Lets see for me. My first SD relationship i met through a mutual friend. I wasn’t nessecarily looking for something like that though i always have been the girl that hangs out with guys and gets tired of guys wanting something exclusive. So this relationship worked VERY well for me as i had someone i course hop on a jet to Vegas with for the weekend, gamble and party like crazy. Heck bring my best girlfriends and shop till we dropped. It was the best of both worlds. Sorry but every girl likes to be treated like a Queen and once your closet it full of Dolce and Gabbanna and Marciano dresses, you don’t ever want to shop at Nordstrom again! But honestly even if i didn’t have the lush lifestyle i was introduced to. This would still be my ideal arrangement. I hate a guy that thinks of every girl as his potential soul mate. Nothing is more unattractive than someone looking for love. If its meant to be, it will do so naturally. I just loved having someone to just have fun and let go and forget about the worries of home life with for a nice relaxing or upbeat weekend. I don’t need someone who i have to see every day. Thats when things lose their spark and start to get well.. boring. Thats what traditionally makes me lose interest. Give me something to chase. When i only get to see you a couple weekends a month, i’m going to be stoked to see you. So why not keep the fire fueled? I’m sure there are many SB/SD’s that want the same thing. No games, just fun!

  11. angie says:

    Awesome thread. I am becoming addicted to all your posts and I spend more time reading the blog than contacting people lol

    I am new to the sd/sb scene. The reason I joined is because the idea of having a nsa relationship with a guy that can help me financially without the head ache of a traditional relationship is very enticing.
    I have always been attracted to older guys and I love the fact that most of them know how to respect a woman. I am soo turned off by 20 something guys that are arrogant and inconsiderate.
    Besides that, I believe that a guy that makes a lot of money is a reservoir of knowledge and I find that appealing.
    And in addition to that who doesn’t like to be treated like a princess?

    Hopefully I can find my sugardaddy on this site 😀



    PS: if the sds/sbs want to share successful stories, I would love to hear them along with great advice on how to have a successful sd/sb relationship

  12. Be_A_Star says:

    My personal little story! Starts out sad and has a much happier time now but it all contributes to why I chose to put myself out there to become an SB.

    My marriage ended to a man who didn’t want to grow/change or drink less (he’s an alcoholic)

    I had been with him for 11years and we had been in serious debt for that whole time (I’m actual a wiz with budget, can live on a shoe string)

    So I thought about traditional dating and then realised I still wanted to focus on me alone for a time, my heart though mostly healed still needs a little time. I don’t want to burden another man with past wounds.

    Then I tried sex sites ewwwww bad idea, mainly cause I wanted NSA physical relationship. I realised that it was seriously degrading and you get alot of really weird guys there and I missed a mental connection.

    So I sat down and thought what would suit me. I love to travel and learn. I’m huge on self developement and really want to change the direction my life is taking.

    I unfortunately still have hardly any money being casually employed and artist. (No longer in bad debt though which lightens my heart) So this was idea one, look for someone who’d spoil me for a change, someone with an income who wouldn’t mind indulging me. I already knew I wanted a sexual partner with NSA so why not one with a little spare cash.

    I also want to surround myself with people who are successful, created the lives they want and are willing to share and teach me. (I’m listening to Anthony Robbins CD’s at the moment he has some good advise) I know quiet a few very successful women, some of my closest friends have achieve wonderful growth. I’ve just never meet any men who are interested in striving to be a great person so second reason. I’ve notice alot of the men speak of there strength and how they strive to better themselves. I’d like to meet some good men.

    So I concluded, why not look for a SD. Be perfect for me at this time. Someone to have stimulating conversations with, maybe get to travel alot more, be spoiled, see success first hand, learn, have (figures crossed) great sex and have some NSA fun with a little freedom I never experienced before. (Even maybe a leg up to becoming independently wealthy) lol

    You know even if I don’t find an SD, these blogs are great and I know one day I will make it on my own anyway. (but getting to spend sometime with a genuinely interest man would be fun now)

  13. Rosie says:

    I have to say when I first came to this site I just typed in SugarDaddy in the search engine and all these sites came up, I cracked up! So when I decided to put my profile on, it was part desperation, loneliness, and just wanting to see if it was real. Things have changed and now I am looking for a SD that wants some of the same things I am looking for out of life with out all the strings of a committed relationships, If that make any sense. I am finding out life is too short and I just want to have fun and do things I would normally not get to do without the help of a SD. (is this wrong for a married SB?)
    I think we all have different reasons for being here and finding the right person here can be just as hard as it is offline ( doing it online just lets us do it in ours PJ’s ) lol.
    I think SD and SB have ego’s that like to be stroked and there is nothing wrong with that.

  14. CCkiss says:

    I know someone who once mentioned when times are tough, that they tried here. I’m not a lifelong Sugar Baby (at least, not at the moment), and only consider these options when I know I need help. I strive for my independence, but it’s nice to have someone to turn to as well.

  15. BlondeBabyGirl says:

    I have thought about this for some time now, a few months to be exact. I have looked here and there, but never persued it fully until I joined this site.

    I tried a different approach, and to my surprise, they wanted to give me 50 here and there for something in return. Told them sorry, go look on the corner for that kind of person, that is not me. So I shyed away from it for a while, and then found this site.

    We are all here for a reason. But the “mutual” reason for both SD and SB is companionship, trust, honesty, affection, etc.

    someone to share things with, enjoy with, have fun with that is beneficial to both involved. There are no strings, and both go back to their own home. No worries, no hassles of a relationship, and the discretion of both SB and SD that would not hinder their personal/family lives.

    I am divorced, single mother of 3 teenagers. 1 graduated HS and other 2 are in high school. I lost my job due to medical issues, that are somewhat resolved, (ulcer or gall bladder, they treat me for an ulcer from medications I was on), and I also have a disability and I refuse to go on disability, who can live off of 623 a month?

    Plus I am able bodied and can work, but it does limit what kind of work I can do. I have buldging disks in my lower back, middle and neck. I was in physical therapy and I know what I can and can’t do. It only acts up when I do something I wasnt’ suppose too, like lifting, or bending the wrong way, even sneezing in a certain postion will put it out of whack for a few days. Before anyone asks, NO I was not in a car accident, I woke up one morning 10 yrs ago and could not walk due to the pain. I was down for about 6 months. Since then it is something I learned to live with and deal with. I do not let it hinder any of my abilities, including working, just can’t work at certain places that requires lifting more than 10lbs or long standing.

    I was contemplating this idea way before I lost my job. Just to supplement my income. Due to a family emergecy that depleted everything that I had, I was ok until then. I will find employment hopefully soon, didn’t realize how hard finding a job really was. I always worked since I was 16, first time ever on unemployment, and at my age, to me that is pretty damn good for being a single mother, working 2-3 jobs to keep things going.
    But also at my age, very hard to find a job, most employers want someone young and perky, I look young for my age, but not that damn young!! LOL.

    So that is one reason I am here. To find an SD that can help me thru this tough time, but I don’t want just that. I want companionship with the person on all levels. Even after things have gone back to normal. I have dated a married man before, non monetary tho, and it was wonderful. Everything was up front, our expectations and for 2 yrs we had great times together. I’m sure it could of been monetary, but I didn’t need it or want it, we just enjoyed the “companionship” of our relationship.

    What each SD and SB are on here for, each has their own reasons. Not only are the SD’s cautious about who they give their time and money too, the SB’s are as well. Respect has to be there, honesty and trust and most of all communication. Expectations should be spoke about up front, what kind of relationship you will have together, monetary and gifts, travels, etc.

    I like to have fun with the person I am with. I appreciate where people have come from and overcame in their lives. Just once in a while, someone may need some help, whether it be an SD or SB, that is why we are here, that is why I am here.

    Most SD’s are married. Most SB’s are not. We provide the SD’s with a certain “companionship” that they might not be getting any more from their spouses. Not just sex as you might think. Most want that confidence boost, that ego trip, that affection and intimacy, and which intimacy comes in many forms and not just sex.

    Alot of SD’s are genuine and have compassion, they are willing to help their SB’s when need be, take care of them, spoil them, mentor them in becoming a better person, more educated, to follow their dreams.

    The SB’s are here for the same reasons as an SD. The SB’s recieves monetary gifts in return for their love and affection they show and have for their SD.

  16. SouthernGent2 says:

    At my age and being married, it would be difficult to find someone that meets my attraction and age desires. But under the terms of an arrangement, it makes things much different. I can be with someone I want to be with, without certain strings that would end up being relationship killers under other circumstances. And you bet that being with the right sb is a huge boost to confidence and ego.