12 years ago
Excuses, Excuses, Excuses…

12 years ago
Excuses, Excuses, Excuses…

Having Your Leg Pulled?

It was supposed to go as planned. But then you got a call, or an email, or worst of all, nothing.

Excuses are easier to give than take.

This is not a black & white issue… What if someone ‘forgot’ to send you their most recent picture (post-op?) until the day of your 1st scheduled meeting — and it wasn’t so pretty? What if you learn something awful about a potential SD or SB and have to cancel your arrangement?

Arrangement Excuses

* My college finals are coming up and I didn’t realize how much studying I’d have to do… sorry

* My wife has fallen ill and I must remain by her side… sorry, but I can’t pick you up from the airport now

* My Pastor gave a touching sermon on infedelity yesterday, and I’m afraid I can’t do this anymore

* My boyfriend proposed to me

* Sure, I can still make it… is it all right if I bring my kids?

Again, put yourself in their shoes… if they think the truth would hurt you more than a lie, they’ll probably tell you a lie (if they’re nice?). If the truth is that they found someone else, or that they’re not interested in you, would you really wanna hear it?

C’mon, wouldn’t you rather be able to vilify someone as a liar or a flake than know the painful reasoning behind them finding you “not good enough”? I think so. I’ll be the first to admit that, at this point, I don’t even THINK about looking at my “sent” message folder… what a waste. Believe me, I’ve been through my fair share of online rejection, so I am stickin’ to what I know.

One Sugar Baby writes:

“…so many of the sugardaddies I have had contact with are full of dramatic excuses not to meet.  I do have 2 potentials to meet in the next couple weeks, keeping my fingers crossed, but I have had some crazy excuses, cancellations, etc.
I wonder if this has happened to other members?  One guy had a really bad rolloever automobile accident and although he was hurt bad, managed to be on this site everyday.  Afterwards he caught the flu and is really sick.”

When, if ever, is lying acceptable to get out of an arrangement?

Does anyone have thoughts about excuses? Is it ever acceptable to make an excuse just to get out of an arrangement? What are some excuses you’ve heard that you thought were lies? Anything funny? Dramatic? Obvious?

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91 Responses to “Excuses, Excuses, Excuses…”

  1. Salis says:

    This is an excellent article! I hope to check back for more

  2. Bisch says:

    Nice post. There’s a similar topic thats related to this in Yahoo answers or Google groups, I think. I’ll find the link and post it back here.

  3. Hinchliffe says:

    I agree with you 99% but wonder if you have really looked at the whole picture. DOn’t mean to be critical just food for thought.



  5. Ms. V says:

    we’re talking about porn now? Ya’ll can’t do that on here! The men will catch on to the truth BEHIND the truth they get from those traitorous talk show females!

    Talk about sewing or something LOL

  6. cre8tor says:

    BostonTerrier: we need to talk. If he’s into porn, I know someone that needs porn. Referral fee? lol

  7. bostonTerrier says:

    lol, i won’t lie and say i wasn’t tempted … i was just thinking 5 years from now if i graduate from law school, as i plan to, do i need a secret porn background behind me?

    he gave me $1,000 for breakfast – i was surprised. he was also really nice … if only he wasn’t into porn 🙁

  8. lisa says:

    1500 for a picture! Let me take a picture quickly as I could use 1500 now but I probably would get 50 cents. lol
    Not being nosy but how well did he compensate you, I’m curious.
    Have a great monday

  9. bostonTerrier says:

    my request is pretty simple … 3,000 a month as my past sd provided. i didn’t know what kind of vibe i was giving off from my profile but i guess now is a better than than ever to change my profile!

    oh, and i carry pepper spray on all of my dates.

  10. bostonTerrier says:

    after more talking with this so called sd, we pushed up our date for breakfast before my classes today as he has to go to california this weekend, i am convinced he is into porn.

    he went into detail talking about how he’s give me 1,500 for each nude picture i would send him and how i’d be given more if i would agree to being videotaped.

    i know he was serious because i was compensated well for our breakfast … i just don’t do porn and never will.

  11. Anonymous says:

    I’m small, but tough, never did feel comfort when thinking of meeting a stranger- has it ever come to the point where you should have brought one with you, or are these guys generally just guys looking for a girl- no malintent ??

  12. Anonymous says:

    $2000 a week, huh. Make him prove it. You never know darling 🙂
    Is this something that you have been desiring from a SD? Maybe you put it “out there” and are getting what you asked for. Could be much worse.
    Any ladies carry weapons with them? Just wondering.

  13. lisa says:

    actually we met for lunch and to get something for me to wear for an event we were to attend later this evening. so he brought me home and was going to pick me 3 hours later. We spent about 3 hours together at the initial meeting.
    I sure can cause those car accidents. the sds are resilient being able to get online so quick after that. I had a guy cancel a couple weeks back when his car turned over and over and hit a concrete wall. He was back online the same day. lol

  14. bostonTerrier says:

    a car accident and back online within minutes? they sure seem persistent or just out of good excuses.

    you have two parts of a date with sd i am assuming?

  15. lisa says:

    Bostonterrier good luck on your date. I would skeptical of that amount on money too. Thats a large chunk of income and with the taxes that he would have to pay on that amount, he would be spending alot more.

  16. lisa says:

    well todays sd meeting got a little intereruption so the second half wont take place because he just had a car accident. that’s the second one I came across in the past couple weeks. lol You have to give these sds some credit though to be in a car accident and be back online minutes later logged onto to sa. lol

  17. bostonTerrier says:

    thanks southerngent2.

    this won’t be the first potential sugar daddy i’ve met offline – rather the 4th one. my apprehension is simply because i truly think he is full crap to say the least, according to my calculations 104,000 over the span of a year is a lot and he has already claimed to have done this once already. my past sd’s were not near as wealthy, or as young at 36, as this guy claims to be.

    i’m not scared nor nervous about meeting, i just am skeptical. we’re meeting this weekend as i kind of gave in after a month of his requests and we’ll see how it goes. i haven’t been disappointed yet so i am going in hoping for the best.

    thanks for the advice!

  18. SouthernGent2 says:

    Boston Terrier – I understand your apprehension. After all, why would a guy you don’t know offer that much up front sight unseen? It doesn’t make much sense to do that. At the same time, you should open yourself up to going to meet the gentleman. At the worst, you get a free meal and maybe a gift. You also get some valuable experience in meeting someone new online. It will help you to be more comfortable with future meetings with new prospects. Please don’t have a self-destructive feeling going in that you might be disappointed. Your instincts should be able to tell you if the guy is a fraud or phony. If that isn’t your instinct so far, then you need to meet him. Don’t let potential disappointment get in the way of something that might help you later on when finding the right sd.

  19. lisa says:

    boston terrier
    I once met a guy who claimed to make over 100K (not alot for a rich person, but he was single with no kids, so he should have been living fairly good). well he drove an old beat up car that had no ac (said he just loved the car and bragged about it the whole time we were out) and it wasn’t a classic or anything, just an old beat up impala. He also had a prepaid cell phone which he used sparingly, wore ugly clothes and shared an apartment with 3 rooomates (not a fancy place either). And he was always having to go into work to cover for someone else, makes me wonder if he was the business owner he claimed to be. Anyway it just didn’t add up.

  20. bostonTerrier says:

    thanks lisa! i took your advice and we’re going to meet next saturday so i’ll see if he is serious or not.

    i’m definitely one to be observant of dress, the meeting place, and mannerisms in general. thank you again lisa!

  21. SmartAlek 214393 says:

    “My college finals are comming up and I didn’t realize how much studying I’d have to do… sorry” – I feel terrible because I told my SD this two weeks ago. We haven’t been able to get on the same schedule since. After reading this,I hope he didn’t think I was just putting him off.. 🙁

  22. lisa says:

    have him meet you if he is from out of town or if he is in the same town, meet him somewhere in public and observe how he acts and how he is dressed, etc. If he is serious about the money,he will bring it up at the meeting being that he has already offered it. If he is reluctant to discuss it after meeting or is cheap on the first date, or wants to wait awhile before giving you an allowance , beware he might not be for real.

  23. bostonTerrier says:

    i find myself in a weird situation.

    have a potential sugar daddy who is definitely interested in me as he has been extremely persistent (via phone and email) for several weeks now and i have been the one giving excuses as to why i wouldn’t want to meet.

    he seems to be extremely generous [to the tune of $2,000 per week] and i just don’t know if he is serious.

    i guess i keep giving excuses because i don’t want to be disappointed if i actually do decide to meet him.

  24. Isaiah_18(SB/M) says:

    I kind of got tired of tired of reading so amny so if anyone had any other opinions opposite of mine, please bear with…
    If an SB and SD/SM make an appointment it should be kept as some had made specific arrangements or spent a lot of money flying someone out. I believe it should be held, but there are times where kids [which seems to be a big issue] can cause a mishap, that’s risks you take when finding a SB or SD/SM, if you think something might cause problem but you are very serious about the set appointment you should let your partner know. If you are not lying you can always prove it, correct?

  25. SouthernGent2 says:

    Going back to excuses and having the leg pulled. This is a problem that goes both ways I’m sure. Excuses create a snowball effect of problems. Often the sd has to give his wife an excuse / lie for going out on a particular night. When the sb changes plans with some excuse, then the excuse / lie that was told the wife is used up. That is a problem in itself.

  26. Ms. V says:

    A long ride sounds perfect, Cre8tor!
    Oh, and yes Stephan- details please, I have never been to Vegas, and this sounds like the perfect reason to change that!

  27. cre8tor says:

    stephan: dumb question but where do I find info/details on this sd/sb party? Will you be posting here, where or elsewhere? And, who will this info go to? Everyone on the site? Do you need help organizing? Sounds like a very large event.

  28. cre8tor says:

    Ms. Vi…. those same Pros brought me many zeros over the years. Like I said…it goes up and it goes down. Go for the looooong ride.

  29. Ms. V says:

    sorry- scattered thinking on the above post…I get excited when I talk about things like that 😉

  30. Ms. V says:

    whoa Cre8tor!!! If they lose that many zeroes, honey- you got bigger um- marbles than I do! I would’ve been out of there so fast! heh…but, then again I have been too scared to put it anywhere in the first place, and have very little to show for my lack of effort.
    Gotta start somewhere- it hurts my eyes to look in the future and see me broke.
    I have a secret (shh) income that comes in every few months- I have to spend it slowly, or find a good place to put it. The Ol’ man has a NEED for it all.
    So far I have been the SugarMama, and I don’t even have a square job!
    I just want to know how to make it grow, so I am not tempted to spend a thousand bucks on a 7year olds school wardrobe, or buy yet another gadget for my umm, significant other…
    I’m aiming for multi-unit housing, but unless I can find a (what do u call it…) tax lien? where the people are getting screwwed simply because they couldn’t afford the tax payments.
    Anyhow, there has got to be some other things for me to get my hands all dirty in!
    Somebody, somewhere is doing something with very little and making it add up….I’m coming to find ’em. Bet that.

  31. Berri says:

    Stephan: I have sent the information. Thanks for your help.

  32. cre8tor says:

    Mis V… I hand my zeros over to the PROfessionals and they still have managed to lose at least 4 of ’em this year. Since I started w/6, I am NOT happy. All that goes up, goes down and visee versee.

  33. Anonymous says:

    I think coming up with excuses comes from both sides, the SDs and the SBs. I don’t think it’s one side more than the other although we would love to believe that the opposite is true. I believe it just really comes down to whether the person (SB or SD) has the courage to initally meet in the first place. This is a somewhat of an unconventional way to meet people. The other factor is that most SDs want variety…I mean if they really wanted to stay with the same woman (SB) then they probably wouldn’t be cheating on their wife in the first place, lol. I try not to take it seriously unless I know for sure that the SD is and then that’s even hard to tell…..

  34. nycblondiebaby says:

    I do agree that if you blow off your first meeting, you can’t recover from it. On the other side of it, there are SDs who really try to RUSH with a capital R the process. I think I mentioned that I had a guy email me his phone number after the initial hello email,d another guy offered me a spa trip in the first email, and I had one who said he’s a millionaire but doesn’t have a home computer.
    Behavior like that can make many babies leery of it all.

  35. Ms. V says:

    whoa, baby- this is the forum I need to be in!…any one of you gentlemen have advice on turning 3 small zeroes and one comma- into many,many more? Come on, now- I am using this sugar daddy thing for excitement, I have no problem with learning to get my money on alone….well, basically…I still need the advice!
    Heck, by the time I am finished talking with a TDAmeritrade rep…my little investment cash is dwindling fast…they charge a lot for bad advice/instruction.
    Come on, man- I know you have it in you…Tell mamaV all your secrets.
    First bit of positive cashflow as a result, and I’ll take YOU out to dinner (you might even get some lingerie, too! lol!)
    Thanks in advance.

  36. lisa says:

    well I just heard from that sd that had the bad accident and then was very sick. Guess what? Now he can’t make it this week because his aunt died and he has to go out of town to her funeral. Poor guy has some much drama in his life. Odd we talked for 3 weeks and it wan’t until we were to meet that he had all this stuff happening. He has been a member for several months and I wonder if he has actually met anyone or if he is a some guy living with his parents.
    I agree that first impressions are vital. I had a guy not show up when we were supposed to meet one day 11 am and I was there, and when I got home I thought I would have an email from him but he waiting till evening to tell me he couldn’t make it.

  37. SouthernGent2 says:

    What Peter is saying is so important to understand. There are some on here that take things seriously and want things to work out. How do you think we got successful? Certainly not by breaking appointments and promises.

  38. Peter says:

    “I never really get excuses, they just stop talking to me. I still don’t understand why, I’m 19 years old, Russian, and I’m a model, most guys think thats amazing, even the guys on here say so, but then when it comes time to meet, they just drop off the face of the earth. Am I doing something wrong?”

    It’s not just sugar daddies. I’ve had three sugar babies flake out and not show. I don’t consider any excuse (aside from the son in the hospital) valid. I’ve flown into meet three girls and they just didn’t show. I got called or e-mailed with a lame excuse later.

    I flew into their towns to meet them. I won’t fly back a second time. If a sugar baby can’t find five minutes to meet me in HER home town, it shows me she isn’t serious. Humorously, two of these girls actually wanted to know if I could send money the next day to help them out. Some sugar babies are obviously born with quite a few missing brain cells.

    Sugar Babies need to realize they’ve done some permanent damage to the dynamic of the relationship once they miss a first meeting. They no longer can demand a high allowance because the guy is really wondering deep down if they will flake out again. Would you miss a first job interview? I managed a large Computer Operations department and we offered high paying jobs, but people did indeed miss their interviews on a regular basis! It doesn’t matter if the person is a job applicant or a sugar baby applicant. People are people and people are flaky, get cold feet, have emotional meltdowns due to anxiety attacks, etc.

    Interestingly, one girl said she was so sorry she offered to fly into my home town at her expense to see me. However, it’s no longer a sugar baby relationship at that point. If she wants a real relationship, we can pursue that, but I no longer have any intentions of giving her money. I liked this girl so much I probably would have done anything for her, but I spent three days in San Diego doing nothing because she flaked out on me each day. That is my memory of her, not how amazing she may be.

    DON’T MISS THE FIRST DATE! It does permanent damage to a real relationship, a potential job prospect, or a sugar daddy/baby relationship. Even if you are deathly sick, your kid is sick, or you are freaking out, find FIVE MINUTES of time just to say HI!

  39. lisa says:

    I love shopping and going nice places but at the time money is what I need. When I began my search for a sd, I was living paycheck to paycheck and looking for some extra money for shopping and small luxuries but now I’m looking for help to survive till I get back on my feet. However, I would never turn down a gift or shopping. It’s kind of like if you had no food in your house (which I don’t) and someone offered you a 50 dollar dinner, you would rather have the 50 dollars for groceries but you wouldn’t turn down the dinner, you know turning something down isn’t going to make your situation better. I’m not extravagant though and prefer to buy alot of small things rather expensive things. My faves are victoria secret, sephora, american eagle, charlotte russe, and even target. sure I would love to have something from Gucci or Chanel but only if I could have alot of other stuff too because no matter how expensive something is, you will get tired of it after awhile and want something different when that newness wears off.
    Dinner can go either way, I like nice places but am more comfortable at a casual place where I don’t have to worry about which fork to use.

  40. cre8tor says:

    Whenever we got together, he would spoil me with dinners, hotel rooms, lingerie and then a bit of cash but not consistent and not what I was looking for in a LTR SD/SB relationship. Some men prefer spoiling when the ladies really need the money. But, I think I finally got the message across. And we have hot chemistry so the wait was fun!

  41. lisa says:

    yikes I would not waste 7 months with a man who doesn’t give me an allowance or at least take me shopping on a regular basis. If I was to maintain a relationship all that time with him, it would strictly be platonic pals.

  42. cre8tor says:

    ABC: I’m not really one to give advice on this as I’ve had trouble getting the arrangement arranged as well. But, maybe you should just ask what he is looking for…after telling him you really enjoy his company and would like to make it more regular. But, like it said, I’m not one for advice as it took me 7 MONTHS and a lot of Im broke comments to get my SD to come up w/cash.

  43. ABC says:

    I have been dating this SD for about a little over a month. He is sweet, has a great sense of humor, and is married. We have been seeing each other roughly every two weeks (his schedule not mine but I am ok with it) and I feel he is avoiding the monthly allowance part of our arrangement. When I try to engage in this conversation he avoids saying he is busy and we’ll discuss later. He has spoiled me yes but I’m getting the feeling the reason he is holding out. He might be looking for a pay for play evenings out (and not saying so) and not have an arrangement more consistent and lasting (which I want). Mind you, he has told me that he is looking for one mistress but his actions cause me to wonder. How long should I hold out before I really feel like my leg is being pulled?

  44. Ms. V says:

    Well, Ms. Lisa- I hope you get what you go after. I needle you, but if that is where your happiness lay, then I wish you well in getting there mama.
    peace to you

  45. lisa says:

    well he was very shy and I kind of had to take the lead. I didn’t want to scare him away by asking for cash. Maybe next time I see him I can mention it. I wish I could go for a walk as I like to walk but with the temperatures over 100 and little shade or trees in my neighborhood not to mention the unemployed men who hang around in the parking lots drinking beer in the middle of the day and hollering out nasty comments, I tried to avoid going out too much and usually go somewhere out of my neighborhood to have fun.

  46. cre8tor says:

    Lisa. Congrats on the new SD! Do you think you might be able to let him know in a sublte way that you need financial assistance more than clothing? And, men like a bit of curve. It gives them something to hold onto. I’m sure you are beautiful. Let it shine. I know its hard to be positive and enthusiastic given your circumstances but walk with a confident swagger and good things will happen. When I get down (which can be every other day) I make myself go for a jog or a fast walk or anything that brings up my heart rate. If nothing else, when you feel the pain your forget the problems. lol

  47. lisa says:

    I weigh 105 now but I wish I still weighed 87. My mom is 5’4 and weighs 100 and she’s in her 60’s and my grandma was a tiny thing. I want to be a size 1 again. My behind is too big although my last long term lover thought is was nice, it is too big too me I want to be curvless. I want to have that gaunt look , like a clothes hanger with clothes hanging on, the model look. I want to be taller. I eat constantly and don’t walk as much as I used to. I want to find me an sd to pay for me a gym membership at the place down the street from me. I just can’t get into exercising without equipment.

  48. sasha says:

    I never really get excuses, they just stop talking to me. I still don’t understand why, I’m 19 years old, Russian, and I’m a model, most guys think thats amazing, even the guys on here say so, but then when it comes time to meet, they just drop off the face of the earth. Am I doing something wrong?

  49. Berri says:

    I receive mail from a SD who I am very interested in. After the first exchange, I went out of town and he knew it and still wrote me several sweet notes when I was gone. When I returned, I tried to write him back but it said I was blocked. I tried for several weeks but it remained blocked so I let it go but he still contacts me like he isn’t aware he blocked me. After awhile, when I didn’t (actually couldnt) respond he wrote saying he wasn’t sure what he did but best of luck to me. He still writes off and on saying that he would like to hear from me but he still has me blocked. Is there any way for you as an admin guy to contact him and let him know he has me blocked and to unblock me if he wants to connect? Please let me know. Thanks!

  50. Ms. V says:

    Thank you anny mouse, I’m on it.
    Lisa: I am sending happy vibes and sprinkling faery dust for you, my dear.
    Take it easy baby- on ur date, toward your finances, maybe take the attitude of : If there’s something I can do about it, why worry? If there isn’t anything I can do about it, why worry? 😉

  51. just me says:

    First time here..hello all,
    Comment: As far as I know, you HAVE to book a hotel with a credit card, so the lost wallet thing is definately just is a scam .. even if you do loose your wallet, credit card companies do offer assistance..right away.. for those situations..and anyone who is mature enough to (hopefully) be on this site knows that.
    Ladies here, please keep your self respect no matter what, and don’t fall prey to the fakes, liars or otherwise losers on this site..even though it means you have to wait a bit longer to meet the right one. (by the right one, I mean the right one for YOU).

  52. cre8tor says:

    Lisa: just be fun. don’t focus on the money thing. This is the MOST difficult part of the whole process I have found. How to get across the fact that you need help without asking for it. Tomorrow is Sunday. We expect a report back by Monday Baby!

  53. lisa says:

    thanks I really need some retail therapy :).

  54. blondiebabynyc says:

    Lisa, my fingers are crossed. Keep us updated and I hope you have a fabulous time. MWAH!

  55. lisa says:

    Hi ladies

    well first of all my tuesday has been moved up to sunday (and hey i’m out of work so I do have sunday off all day). He has emailed me and given me his estimated arrival time (he is coming in from out of state). He has set up some kind of plan for us to meet and see what happens. I am optomistic but nervous and have not met a potential sd since late june and that one never materialized.

    On the part about getting response from you profile. When I changed mine I got some initail response but it lead to nothing and then all of a sudden when I had all this free time to work my profile I received alot of response, mostly game players but hey at least I was talking to people again and hopefully tomorrow will work out. As I said he doesn’t mention giving me any cash (which I need desperately) but a girl could always use a shopping trip and night on the town.

  56. cre8tor says:

    AlaskanQT: waaaay back to your experience w/your son and the ER. I have to agree that if there is one excuse, its acceptable….things happen…but if they continue or the stories get more odd, its probably time to cut your losses and move on. I prefer honesty. After all, isn’t that what this site is about anyway? Honest need not be cruel, but in a tactful way, decline the offer to meet, etc. And congrats on the birthday. Did you have a good celebration?

    I’ve been spending time w/my SD and have missed you all. Trying to catch up. Can’t wait to hear how Lisa’s Tuesday thing goes. Much luck girl.

  57. blondiebabynyc says:

    wanna hear something funny?? Or weird??? On a whim I created a new profile. It’s completely different from the one I first used. It’s not a “premium” profile, my photo is extremely blurry and I come across (in the profile) as a b&*(((.
    Guess what?! I’m being inundated with emails! I swear men really don’t want a nice girl, they want a b&*(((.
    Talk about getting one’s leg pulled!
    It’s not that I’m not good looking in life or a premium profile either. I get guys staring at me all the time when I’m out and about.

  58. anny mouse says:

    Ms V- check out salary.com and Vault.com. You might also want to see if any of the job sites i.e. monster.com have comparative salary ranges

  59. Ms. V says:

    Anybody know anything about non-profit org salary ranges- compared to regular industry salaries?
    I am specifically interested in the diff in range for a Dir. of Admin.

  60. Ms. V says:

    Oh Yes, Happy Birthday QT!!! Make it great, bay-bee!!!! I am liking this SD of yours…sounds like he might even kick someone’s a** for you if they messed up. Again…I’m rootin 4 ya babe!
    Have Fun

  61. lisa says:


    I understand completely about giving out a phone number. I too have a land line and if you give someone your number, they can get your address too. I prefer to wait till I actually meet a person before giving out personal info. Long distance charges are not something I can afford either. However in my case most of the guys I come in contact with only want to email and then they disappear.

    I have also found that the ones that offer the least want to meet the most. There are some guys on here that want to give 300-500 monthly allowance but want to get together 2 or 3 times a week which would take away all of your free time and prevent you from finding a second sd which you would have to have if the first one is giving you pocket change allowance.

  62. NewMath says:

    So far I would talk to them via email. and some SD get mad when I don’t call them right away after 3 messages…honestly I don’t care for an expensive phone bill after three messages. I am also aware of being safe and I am not quick to give my number out to anyone. So far I have not had any success with this site. Some SD demand more than once a week or relocation, I thought this was supposed to be NSA?

  63. Stephan says:

    AlaskanQT: Happy Birthday!!! 😀

  64. AlaskanQT says:

    I’m not sure how wonderfu; my typing will be toniht… after all it IS my birthday….. Honestly I think coffee is a great way for a low pressure meet. Most gentleman who want to meet in an atmosphere that the gal won’t be too stuffy in but that also requires a bit of composure. Coffee sounds great to me… not cheap! Now if they ask you to pay for yourself then I give a different response…. BUT if they genuinely want to meet and see how things click in a quite laid back environrment then awsome! Many coffe shops offer lunch sandwiches… and if he’s offering you drinks, then maybe you can see if the drinks are a chemistry thing to see what happens next. I have met someone for drinks and then whatever… started with drinks… went into dinner… then a night on teh town

    OK now I haev to go so I can sleep and not miss my spa appointment at 9 AM! OOOO I’m so excited!

  65. Ms. V says:

    psst- yay Lisa!

  66. Ms. V says:

    Hello again All!

    Wow, I thought I was taking a break from my ethics class! j/k
    Well, well, well. It seems a lot can happen in a day, uh?
    I am still a SeekingArrangements virgin, cheering for AlaskanQT (yay!!), doing homework, wondering about the wonders in my little world.

    I would like to submit a question for the SD’s (you ready? okay.)
    What is it that inspires you to make a connection with a SB? I understand that each has his own purpose for visiting the site, but YOU, yes darling- You reading this message 😉 , what would make you click on the photo and send a message with the very real intention of blowing that womans mind?

    There are some incredibly gorgeous men online, but I guess I am wondering about the rest of the being… I am not interested in a “real” relationship, but I do not mind a long-term SD who knows that I am serious about the discretion and NSA parts of the deal. How could I phrase those things in a more attractive way?

    I think I have probably turned myself into man-repellant with my new profile! lol. I had to put SOMETHING on there that would keep the dog shit licking guy and the ass-obsessed guys away…then again my ass is prominently displayed in one of the pics- ha! I’m silly.

    Any suggestions, gentlemen? Oh, and in the case of these men who run on and on about their investment strategy expertise: are there some magic words that I need to type to let them know that I am so for real about learning what they have to teach? I don’t want to be the idiot pretending to be interested in what they do- I am the Lady who is sincere about getting her cash up! I do not earn money right now, so what I have, I’d like to make it grow and Suze Orman is just not giving as much good info as she’d like to think she is!
    Thanks guys!

  67. lisa says:


    I’m in the southwest. Can’t give out any details just in case any of the potential sds that I am supposed to meet in the future are reading this blog.

    cababy the real fun guys are the ones that arrive early and already have their coffee when you arrive and ask if you are going to get coffee and you say yes and they sit there while you go buy your own coffee. Then they start asking you how “passionate” you are. When they pull a cheap one on me with the coffee, my passion for them goes down the drain

  68. Craig_M says:

    Lisa: I would love to get to know you. Where are you located?

  69. cababy says:

    Lisa- thank you. I was wondering about the ‘cheap’ thing. Ok, I’ll go and see what happens.

  70. lisa says:

    Cababy He sounds like he might be cheap. Remember coffee is ok for regular dating site dates but this is an sd site and if he is a true sd he can afford lunch,even a casual light one. Just don’t let him take advantage of you or try to presure you into doing something, if he does, remind him that he doesn’t have time for ANYTHING but coffee. On the other hand I met my first and only sd from this site so far for coffee and he was short on time too but he made it up to me the next day and gave me an allowance a couple days later. However nothing physical occured between us for the first 2 dates

  71. Eric says:

    As a sugar daddy, I do not see any reason not to tell the absolute truth. Sometimes work gets in my way, sometimes my family will take precedence, sometimes I am just not in the mood, but I just tell it like it is.
    And the girls I have had arrangements with over the years have always understood and accepted that life gets in the way sometimes.
    If someone makes excuses, then it is because they have something to hide and will take advantage of you. You must have the will to walk away and hope that someone better, who deserves you, will come along

  72. lisa says:

    that’s a nice excuse at least he did something to make up for not being available. I would like to ask for cash but that might scare him off you know. I am reasonable in my shopping so its not like I will spending tons of cash. But I also can’t tell him about my job situtaion as I was advised by fellow sbs not to be negative and needy so I have to hide my situation and try to forget that if I don’t have a job and a full paycheck by the end of september, I will be out on the street in october. It seems that no one takes a regular application anymore and I have put in so many job applications online for menial jobs only to not hear anything back.

    Well my potential sd meeting for tuesday is in question as he has not called me today, no sign of him so I’m wondering if he is playing games or just busy.

  73. cababy says:

    Will you sb’s give me some advice? I’m supposed to meet a potential sd tomorrow. He wants to meet for coffee to get acquanted. I asked him if we can just meet for lunch. He said he can’t do lunch but coud meet for coffee or a drink in the afternoon. This is the first time I’ve been asked on this site to meet for just coffee on the first meeting. Its always been dinner– and then who knows. This guy is younger (30’s). He has seen several pix of me but I had to ask 2x for a pic of him. What do you think? Do you think I should go?

  74. AlaskanQT says:

    On a good side… I found a great way for an SD to make an excuse 🙂 This one made me happy…. I’m sorry I can’t make it this weekend but work calls. Since I can’t take you out for your birthday please call (this spa) and set you rappt there is a gift for you at the counter…. And I called and there was 🙂 I have an appointment in teh morning for a facial a hair styling with a master designer, and a massage 🙂

  75. AlaskanQT says:

    Lisa: I have been known to go shopping and not really find anything I liked a ton. Gentlemen tend to get tired after about 5 stores of watching a gal try things on… Maybe if you explain taht your mind is on other things that you need to pay so that you can’t really concentrate on teh fun at hand he will offer cash instead??? It make sense to me

  76. lisa says:

    I agree but I can’t be picky as my other possibities can’t meet till late september or early october and I can’t wait that long. I have put in application after application and nothing so far. But that is what this sd is offering so I will take his offer, at least I can get something to cheer me up a bit.

  77. a1derfulguy4u says:

    I think most men would rather skip shopping and just give the cash. I know I would! I would much rather give cash which can be used for something nessesary.

  78. lisa says:

    thanks I think I a going to go with a casual dress that is slightly short because I would be overdressed at the restaruant we are having lunch at. It is a nice restaraunt and the food is good but people in my city seem to dress very casual even at expensive places, especially for lunch.

    On the photo subject. I have found myself talking to guys for over a month and they even talk about meeting but never once offer to send a photo. They say it isn’t their style. I wonder however how many men would want to meet a woman they have never seen a photo of.

  79. anny mous says:

    Lisa, I’d say wear something cute and slightly flirty,but not very because you’re doing lunch etc., I’d wear heels but tuck a pair of flats in your bag. You can always switch into flats if your feet start to hurt. I’d also limit any jewelry and wear daytime make up. Most of all, smile and enjoy yourself. You deserve it.

    On another note, I think it’s funny that when you ask for a photo, the men disappear. Mine’s up in my profile. But the moment I ask a fellow who’s sent me an email for a photo-after all, I’d like to see who I’m emailing, they fly away.

  80. lisa says:

    a little off topic but I need some advice in meeting a potential sd this coming tuesay.
    He is more of a low key sd and if offering lunch and a movie and shopping. He is staying at a hotel in town and I will be going to meet him downtown for lunch. It is unnknown whether I will join him at the hotel as that depends on circumstances. I really need cash more than shopping but am not going to pass up an opportunity for some shopping afterall not letting him take me shopping isn’t going to solve my financial dilemna so why not enjoy some shopping. Anyway since we are meeting for lunch I want to dress casual in a nice dress and shoes (probably flats because heels are to uncomfortable to walk in at the distance I am going to meet him. If dinner occurs I could wear something more sexy but feel that wearing the little black dress on the first meeting since it is a lunch, would be a little too much. At the same time I want to look attractive for him.

  81. lisa says:

    adding to last post, all the times I have stayed at nice hotels, they have always been booked ahead of time and paid for or at least credit card info is already on file.

  82. lisa says:

    Yikes! coolpix Odd he could go to the bank and get more money out and certainly if he is wealthy his world wouldn’t end when he lost his wallet. And the fact that he only had money for days inn would indicate he didn’t have money for your allowance and he was expecting sex on the first meeting? Odd too that he hadnt’ paid for his hotel with his credit card, that’s usually how it works when you book a room, so he would just have to check in.

  83. Goddess says:

    Personally, I would prefer that someone politely decline to meet, with or without an explanation, than to waste my time with phony excuses. I lose respect quickly for someone who is not secure enough to be honest and straightforward.

  84. coolpix says:

    OMG!!! This is the best one right here…I was suppose to meet my supposedly sugar daddy at this hot ass hotel right. Really expensive. Then we were suppose to go to a nice restaurant. So he calls me and tell me he lost his wallet.
    That he only had enough money to go to Day’s Inn. So I was like uh huh. So I went to meet him and he tried to convince me that he is real and that he wants to have sex unprotected because he can’t have babies cuz he had that surgery or whatever. So I said no and blah and he was like well I will send you money tmro…So i waited the next day and he calls me talking about he got into a car accident trying to get the money! and that its my fault!

  85. Be_A_Star says:

    I think there is never a good excuse to lie. I love being told the truth, it might hurt but its better than being told something you know is BS. Lifes a lesson and even on here there is alot to learn, having an SD honestly turn you down and maybe even tell you the real reason can help you become a better potential SB.

  86. sweetbaby says:

    I was told by a single older sd that he needs some space because work and stuff were just getting too much. He said he needed space from me too, even though we only see each other like once a week and i never disturb his phone or anything. So i gave him his space and deleted his messages, number and email. A few weeks later he texted me to say he’d just gotten back from a 3 week holiday, and missed me and if we could go out that evening. But i had seen him log on seeking several times during his ‘holiday’. Excuse? I think. I suspect he was still hunting for an sb but couldnt find anyone to stand his crap so tried to come back to me. By then I had already found my perfect sd.

    So i guess these things happen for a reason. Once you’ve weedled out the flakes you get to find the good guys.

  87. yael says:

    I would appreciate full, blatant honesty over a lie any day… I’m a big girl if you don’t like me let me know… If you change your mind, I’ll get over it… just don’t waste my time…. there are plenty of people who like me as there are plenty that don’t…. I do agree with the other comments that sometimes there ARE legitimate excuses such as illness and other emergenies but at least give me the details if that is the case…. (for example the fax from the hospital..by the way I thank God your son is okay…) But we all know that most of the time people are just flakey….. I really don’t respect flakiness… I can take disappointment as I said before…… People who lie to you more often than not, it’s not even for the sake of sparing your feelings, it’s for theirs… most flakey guys don’t want to even admitt to themselves that they are cowards and flakes LOL so it’s easier to have some dire emergency to not look like the bad guy… I wish there was just a straight forward approach to dating and meeting thats what I thought that all of this on-line stuff was for in the first place… keep it real.. There is enough phoniness out there.

  88. lisa says:

    I agree that things do come up and it’s funny how when you set aside to do something, everything starts happening. However I believe that if someone (not a child who has a parent that can communicate for them as I am sure your child was too sick to feel like doing anything) but someone who is single and supposedly gets in a bad accident and is in icu and is very sick, is not going to be online sending out messages. Where I live you cannot even have a cell phone in the hospital rooms as they say it interferes with the equipment and you can’t have computer in bed with you either. The hospital here has a room where patients and their families can use the computers and use their cell phones. A patient can very well come into the room and use the computers but if someone is in icu for a couple days, it’s unlikely that they headed down to the waiting room to get on seeking arrangement.
    Children get sick, family gets sick and these are valid reasons to cancel but I find it hard to believe someone who just had a bad accident is online hours later.

  89. AlaskanQT says:

    But the moral of that rather long paragraph was this: Sometimes even the most off the wall excuses are true so wait befroe you hold judgement

  90. AlaskanQT says:

    Once my SD that I had been seeing for quite a while got very upset with me. His last arrangement was with a girl taht was just not good for him… and very dishonest. I was supposed to fly to Chicago to see him over Thanksgiving Appearently very expensive plane tickets) I called him appromiately when my plane should have landed and told him I couldn’t make it because my son had been rushed to teh ER with a temperature of 105.5 and had been admited to the hospital. The overcaution man came out and he was very mad and even called me a name or two (or 3). I had never befroe heard anything disrespectful from him but MAN I was fuming. I angrily hung up the phone and had teh hospital fax over my sons admission letter to his office… it has a very large obsenity written on the top. (again I was VERY mad because he thought I would lie about my KID) I didn’t hear back from him for a while but 14 hours laster I got a call from him asking my son’s room number. About 15 minutes later he walked in teh room bearing an armful of teddy bears a milkshake, a mushroom swiss burger, and a cup of coffee. He had the most appologetic look on his face…

    Though we talked about it a lot and I know he felt horrible.. He tried to buy my forgiveness and to me an arrangemnet is something done out of pleasure not obligation so most of that was turned down. We continued seeing eachother for a while but I’m not sure I ever 100% got over pretty much beeing called a liar and we ended soon after. We are still friends… LOL I went to he and his new wifes wedding this past year 🙂

  91. lisa says:

    Very well put. Personally I would rather hear the truth because after all when they make a crazy excuse they are rejecting me but I end up giving them more chances which is worse because I have been stood up a few times and would have rather had them to say they changed their minds.
    My most recent relationships followed this pattern. Man #1 drug me along for almost a year, making excuses why he couldn’t email me and was too busy to see me. He kept in contact so I thought he was interested whereas man#2 upright an dumped me through email after a few months of dating. I think it was mean of him to do it with no good reason but at least he came out and said he couldn’t date anymore and I got the idea that he thought I wasn’t good enough for him and although I was sad for a while, I got out and started looking again and within a couple weeks met my first sugardaddy that was short term but worthwhile.