10 years ago
Sugar Dating: It’s Just Not for Everyone

10 years ago
Sugar Dating: It’s Just Not for Everyone

To each their own Sugar

Just as most of us here know – marriage isn’t for everyone. And just as marriage isn’t for everyone, neither are Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby relationships.

When the Sugar Turns Sour

There have been many instances, some notorious, in which a Sugar Daddy relationship takes a turn for the worst. Whether it’s blackmail, overt deception, extortion, or any other type of ill deed, it’s prudent to know that no matter how a sugar dater might appear at first, you must always keep your privacy needs in mind.

When the Sugar Turns Sweet

Just as there are sugar horror stories, there are sugar fairy tales; marriage, long-term sugar, professional advancement, etc. Sometimes a Sugar Baby actually becomes a part of the family – yes, that’s with the wife knowing, the kids knowing, everybody knowing… seldom, but true.

Is anyone here wondering if a potential sugar dater is sour or sweet? What advice do those who have experienced sugar before have to give new sugar daters about creating, and maintaining a healthy mutually beneficial relationship?

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93 Responses to “Sugar Dating: It’s Just Not for Everyone”

  1. Kazeldqy says:

    Hi webmaster! hmf

  2. SuthrnExec says:

    I would suggest that perhaps you ask him to send you the expense money in advance – there are lots of ways he can do that (PayPal, etc.). Until you get it in your hands, you won’t know if he will be true to his word. Good luck!

  3. Sarah says:

    Well I have been ignoring him for a few days now. He has been texting/calling/emailing me a few times a day, begging me to come back up and see him. I finally talked to him tonight. He asked what would it take for me to come back and i told him flat out that i wanted him to pay for the hotel room and give me $400 besides that. I’m not sure if I’m asking for too much or if I sold myself short, but he agreed to it. Ideally I’d like to find someone closer that is looking for something else…so far, no luck.

  4. Caligirl says:

    Yes do tell him. Let him know how disappointed and make clear your expectations. Also you may suggest to him, that it would be easier for you if he would assist with the travel expense,gas, room, allowance,etc in advance.
    Maybe he will feel bad and make it up to you. Maybe not…Whatever happens stay strong and positive:) If this one doesn’t work, there’s another one coming around the corner:) Wishing the best for you.

  5. Sarah says:

    I have only had one SD so far and it was a mixture of sweet and sour. It was an intimate arrangement and I travelled four hours and got a hotel room and travelled four hours back twice a month to see him. The first meeting was to just get to know each other and we got along well and he reimbursed me for my trip, no more. The second meeting he gave me about twice as much as what I had spent. However the third and fourth meetings are when it turned sour. I do not doubt the authenticity of my former SD. But I found it awful suspicious that on the morning of my third departure I was unable to get ahold of my SD, and I had to leave empty handed. I finally got ahold of him and he claimed his phone service was on the fritz. He said he would make it up to me on the fourth visit. When I was leaving on the fourth visit, he left me $300 for the two visits. That barely covered both trips. It appeared that he thought his AMAZING skills in bed was enough for me (note the sarcasm). Is it common for SDs to think that SBs are actually LOOKING for sex? I haven’t talked to him since then and he is blowing up my email and phone BEGGING me to come up. Should I tell him how disappointed I was in him and arrange another meeting if he agrees to hold up his end of the agreement?

  6. SweetTooth says:

    Hi I’m new to this. I was reading your stories and I’m excited to meet some potential SD. I’m 21 and have never really met anyone online before.I’ve had a sugar daddy before…I don’t really know how it happened. I met him on a train and I was intrigued by him. We talked and dated and he just became my sugar daddy. He is 45 and he moved so I am looking for a new sugar daddy. I met him randomly and in person so it was different. I’m a little hesitant to meet with these men…. Can you ladies give me some advice. Where should I meet them? How do I know if they are the real deal or not? Can you tell me a little about your first meeting with a potential sugar daddy. This way I know what to expect. I would really appreciate this….I have no one else to ask for advice.

  7. dreamer says:

    lol.. Thats awesome. Im glad to know im not the only one. I just think its weird that since i have been masterbating, its alot harder to have an orgas. during sex, whereas i used to almost always. I wonder what happened. But i can fake it now, where i couldnt before haha

  8. yael says:

    MuchExperience- that’s not called being picky or even custom ordering… It’s upgrading..LOL… hey JZ and Beyonce said it not me… I feel ya on that situation… dreamer.. it IS a lot of responsibility to deal with a couple especially if you are a third and not just a swing or fantasy experience… I was a mediator almost for my last couple in their problems… not in a very strange way but I just was kind of the neutral party in their disputes… and every couple has disputes but some times I thnk i was kind of that person who could “translate” cause as we all know, sometimes we don’t say what we mean to the person we love or we don’t say it how we mean it….however if the couple has alot of dysfunction you may find yourself in the middle of a war…… and just another casuality it is emotionally draining in those instances (which is why I had to end it with them)…. but during tthe good times, we shared alot … many don’t agree with it but hey.. all I can say is to each his own on that and I know what I had and what we shared and it was a decent, committed relationship where we all respected each other….

    But neither here nor there…. I CAN help you with alot of sex toy questions… I too used to be anti masturbation… just cause it just seemed a bit nebulous to me and besides I was engaged to a man when I was way younger who was insecure and really thought that if I had to masturbate it was because I was just too frigid and unsatisfiable by a man… (LOL… of course it couldn’t have been him!!! ).and to make him happy I adopted this rule for myself until about… (I’ll be fair…. three days after we broke it off).

    female masturbation is a good way to train yourself to really develpo muscle memory and learn how to make your self climax often and stronger in many instances…… especially getting toys that concentrate on G-spot manipulation…. Also for very obvious reasons, anything that stimulates the clitoris…. duh… but clitoral stimulators have been rumored to over stimulate and in some cases kind of make you temporarily less sensitive down there.. (I have NOT had this happen) I like a combination of a G-spot vibe and a clit stimulator such as the Jack rabbit…. waterproof versions are always best I think…… Also, I tend to like silicone toys… they feel more natural , are easy to clean and are softer versus hard plastic toys… but again that’s personal preference… at least for newbies…. softer toys are better… I have a friend and she and her mate use hard dildos, she has one that is metal, and one that is actually glass….. but hey…. If that’s your thing… personally I would hurt myself… so I’ll keep it real Barney style on my toys….. LOL

  9. dreamer says:

    hey yael, you might need to give me advice with toys and such, my bf of 4 yrs was anti- (female) masterbation.. So a whole new world is opening up to me now.. Hehe.. And i have couples write me alot, im just not sure if i am ready for the responsibilty.. I had a sm write pretty much for the first time today and im really excited.. I hope it goes well!!!

  10. stephan says:

    ME: I hear ya 😉 If you haven’t already, register with the blog and then, let me know… (I’ll have to change your settings to allow you to edit your comments).

    Great Discussion here btw. We have only addressed race once before, and it was on the SeekingMilloinaire blog, here

  11. Much Experience says:

    yael, thanks for writing more. I think we agree more than disagree :) However, that said, I do have to admit I am one of those custom-ordering SD dudes! Oh well, if I have to take a beating for it, I’ll just have to take it 😉 But here’s the difference (maybe) – I know and understand that being picky is a big sacrifice & a big risk for me.

    I split up with my ex almost 10 years ago, and have been basically single since then b/c I promised myself I was only going to get involved again if I met someone much “better” for me overall than my ex. And part of “better” for me is intense physical attraction. That’s my choice, it’s been a lonely one at times, but it’s the one I know that I want.

    So yeah, maybe my dreams come out a little bit in my profile as a check-list, but at the same time I have a decent idea of what a lot of good women are looking for in a SD, and I’ve tried to communicate my good points in my profile also so that SB’s can check it all off against their own lists! ;P Maybe as with many things, it’s not always so much *what* we say as *how* we say it..

    p.s. about your typos, one thing that helps me a lot is to compose my thoughts in a text editor, then copy and paste into the browser here. i like that better also b/c i can save my work as i go along, and if something crashes i can recover easily and not feel like “crap, there goes an hour’s work!” or whatever.. fwiw, i agree that SA should really allow posts to be edited, as most other sites do.. “note to stephan”.. 😉

  12. lisa says:

    Good evening everyone. I’m very tired from work, had a really hard day, looking forward to my days off so I can start living again. lol

    About that guy who emailed me wanting to exchange pics. well I sent him a nice email and asked him about himself but I didn’t include any photos. As i said I have 3 and he only has 1 on his profile so he should be the first one to send pictures. He’s been on this site forever and I think he is just a picture collecter. Next…………………….

  13. yael says:

    WOW the typos… wish i could edit….

  14. yael says:

    MuchExperience- you are so right… I really didn’t mean it that way… my bad… Like I said before.. I personally go for personality over lokks anyday… and heck yeah there are alot of very almost dilusional females on the site LOL…. The reason I am on the site is because I know that I am that girl that definitely is interesting and would never pick anyone for their looks… I also understand it is so hard for any man to just generate a relationship or otherwise out of thin air and I just hope that only some nice man who just doesn’t do well with dating or is just not “in” the dating loop will find me or I’ll find him and we’ll make each other very happy in any arrangement, relationship, or whatever develops from the encounter…. when I say “deserve” I more mean that a man who says or feels that he deserves a female that is beautiful smart, honest, down to earth,, funny,, sweet, affectinate, passionate, or… (insert random adjective here) should be the balance of that… physical traits aside…. and it seems that when we (men or woman expect too much and offer too little or close our options for vanity, pride, or other reasons then I feel we truly don’t deserve that person….. Clearly there are many profiles with lots of expectations for others and very few standards for themselves….

    In fact the falicy in so many profiles… (where I say that the expectations are unrealistic) is that so many feel they can essentially custom order a female up… (i’m sure many females have the same on their respective profiles) and they may be missing exactly what they seek and what they deserve…. What if your perfect match was a size 12 as opposed to a size 3?… or what if that person had black hair rather than blonde? WHat if she/he was Asian instead of caucasian?… If your expectations and standards blind you to see beyond the superficial then that person truly did NOT deserve that person to begin with….

    I know that in most relationships, I have to compromise my fantasy a bit…. because the physical fades… as you mentioned ….and besides all of that… we all have to be realstic too…. realism is not a bad thing… yeah I’m sure there are tons of 5’10 model types who may want the average 55 year old overweight possibly balding successful guy on this site… but in seeking only that you’re only garanteed that…. she’ll be 5’10 and look like a model… will she be funny?, smart? caring? Honest? (of course I’m only speaking of people looking for some kind of connection other than NSA, discreet, sex-only etc.. but to my surprise I actually see more guys looking for something more substantial … and I commend them on it..)I just wonder if we really are real about what we seek, what we deserve, and what we need, and even what we hope for…. one must examine all of these aspects in order to acheive success in building a connection with that special someone……

    I really love the opportunty available on this site for people to connect and for me… I’ve always been dated only for my looks and it’s great to have a profile, a bit of a foreword about what lies within… cause most women will agree that the most frustrating thing to happen on a date is after expressing your wonderful theory on life and whatever great conversation you have and the response is “I love your breasts or you have a great ass,,, mouth,, (insert random body part here..LOL)”…

    I also have a thing for the kind of not-so-hot guy, the nerd, the quiet guy, the older, wiser type who needs my youthful inquisitive nature and I need his wisdom, assertivness, and experience… not for lack of my own but meerely to balance my own.. and also a sense of security and foundation in self life finance etc cause also lets face it…. without that security and foundation… there’s little room to build…. i “deserve” a bit more than what I’ve been offered in the past too I guess…. I think maybe I was hoping as maybe many other women that the men here wouldn’t be as judgemental as the ones we already face on the outside world……. maybe that not-so-stud guy would be the one to see so much more.. but there I may be unrealistically expecting too much too LOL….

    MOstly I guess I’m just venting also a bit of the disappointment that I and as I’ve seen some of the other SB’s here have been facing with looking for princes and finding (I’m generalizing), blad, old, arrogant frogs. WHo are at times more used to buying and customizing every other whim in their lives and then being held to their scrutiny nad exceeding standards as if we hadn’t the right to have our own expectations of them…. but there I imagine I may be taking it a bit far… call me emotional a bit right now… but I do of course thank my fellow bloggers as always and I will shake it off in a few and get back on the grind and be more positive… just had to let that off my chest for a minute….. love you all for it…

  15. dreamer says:

    speaking of, i think of myself as quite average.. Nothing special.. And i put ‘average’ as my body type and i was really happy when i got a message from a guy yesterday saying i was crazy bc im beautiful… Theres a little sweet moment for you all :)

  16. Much Experience says:

    Yael, I’m glad everyone was able to cheer you up a bit :) Thanks for your very relevant comments about (un)realistic expectations.. Yes, I’m sure many guys want to believe that they’re “alright” in looks, but in fact are average to homely. On the other hand, don’t forget that your knife cuts both ways. There are definitely women on the site who seem to believe they’re super-hot but in fact are “only” average to above-average.

    You’re right, we’re all competing against extremely high standards, and even the beautiful people eventually fall apart. (Faye Dunaway, Robert Redford, etc) But as far as what each person “deserves” in a SB/SD, I think you might be going a little too far there. After all, that’s the main point of the site isn’t it? To help successful but maybe not studly guys & attractive but maybe not “successful” women find each other and hopefully hook up? I’m guessing there’s a part of most of us here on SA that believes we can do a lot better, and that we actually do “deserve” better, than the prospects we see in everyday real life. Maybe, as you say, that belief / fantasy is totally unrealistic. But hey, we all like to dream a little, don’t we? xoxo..

  17. yael says:

    One last ting…. MsV-… if you look for black guys on this site… sadly it seems alot of them are looking for the blondes too… LOL… No offense to the blondes of course… hell get it girls!!! I ain’t hatin on you… just an observation…. but like Lisa said… she’s blond and still this site is a problem even for her… I think it’s just these unrealistic men who want more than they actually deserve in many cases… in every woman no matter what color, size, hair color, age etc….. We mustn’t all forget we live in an age and a society where so many men are given free reign to hold unrealistic standards… what i alwasy find so funny is how so many of them will say they are attractive and they are not… I don’t think they even see it… Think about it… most men in general would say that they are…”Alright looking” guys… Ladies WE know this isn’t true for a vast majority LOL… But if you are a man… you’re not ugly… cause you can always dress well, or make alot of money, or have a special talent or a nice car… and then it’s forgiven… and men are never FAT… they’re “Husky” of they “Used to play football” of they lift weights or used to body build. (I’m saying this in a mocking, deep dopey voice.. for the record..) Whatever excuses them from being fat or ugly… I guess baldness and erectile dysfunction are the great equalizer to many LOL… That was mean..Let me stop… . I actually don’t really mind the chubbies, uglies or baldies at times… I’m big on personality and attitude….. but either way one day they need a reality check!!! LOL… NOW i’m really gonna go cook and stop playing around on the blog…..

  18. yael says:

    Dreamer… Don’t worry… I burn too… yeah I know… crazy… to be dark and burn easily… yes I can get darker but after about 2 shade, I stll peel like crazy… and actually get a rash… it sucks… I’m from the caribbean and when I go back I gotta use so much sunscreen….LOL… sensitive skin I guess……

  19. yael says:

    WOW….. reading that myself I sound a bit wild… LOL… Couples….??? oh well don’t knock it till you tried it..:) of course it’s not for everyone… but hey… that’s a waaaayyy different blog all together… save that for a new discussion….. Once again thanks all… and much love and I’ll talk to you all in a few…. Gotta cook dinner…

  20. yael says:

    WOW.. you all are soooo awesome… I’m so glad I’m not the only one… now I know it’s just these crazies here… that’s probably why some of them have been members since 2007 and still haven’t found anyone… and YES… to all who wonder and SouthernGent2… I AM open To ALL races of potential SD’s no preference what soever….. and I really appreciate evryones encourageing words…. I guess my mother is right she always said to me you gotta kiss alot of frogs to find a prince…… I just hate useless effort… Now insted of pouring out sweet emails and sonnets (i’m waaaay too romantic… I know) and all that charismatic stuff I did before in my messages….. I just basically say…”I saw you, I was interested…If you are too please write me back so we can leran a bit mroe about each other” and see who bites back… My only response has been a couple… and I’m not gonna say I’m oppossed to the idea.. (don’t judge me anybody here… I got alot of affection to share and alot of passion as some of you know from my fantasy posts… ) I’d just rather deal with one man… and that’s it… alternative relationships can be complicated especially when in most cases the couple is just trying to spice up or brighten a dimming flame in their sex life.. ( I was in one for about a year before their wierd incessant dysfunctionality and jealousy began to take it’s toll on me… they even strted becoming jealous of who was spending more time with ME!!!) OH the drama!!!…. BTW, if anyone ever wants any fantasy, relationship, sexuality, sensuality advice, or sex toy tutoring, reviews or otherwise… don’t hesitate to ask me… I taught a class to women and couples for 2 years…..

  21. ChicBaby says:

    dreamer – I’ve had a couple of guys contact me simply because of my red hair as well. I found it a bit strange.
    Irish pride!!

  22. Isspyce says:

    Hey Yael, I understand how you feel being black as well, if you let it this site can make u feel unattractive while in the real world men find you hot & sexy, I’ve never had to pursue a man before yet here I find myself initiating email contact wgich is often times not even responded to, but keep trying and remember that u r beautiful regardless of you color, there is man for you…

  23. dreamer says:

    i feel safe, lol. Little irish girl (by desent) haha. I have had a few red hair fetish ppl but usually I am in the clear. I am really jealous of you girls tho, bc I cannot tan, i only burn :(

  24. Ms. V says:

    awwww sh*t!!! I knew some of you ladies could relate.
    I am a German/french/black mixture of womanly chaos, and I have no problem at all turning the heads of all types of men in public (usually the white men are much, much older), but on here- nothing.

    I, too have seen the preferences listed for stupid,beautiful blonde- too stupid to understand what he is talking about…

    I prefer dark-skinned black men, but I haven’t seen any on this site…if I listed that- what would I come up with?

  25. lisa says:

    wow Caligirl, sounds like hurricane sugardaddy is blowing your way.
    send some that good luck this way. lol
    I sent a message to that sd that contacted me, via my email but haven’t heard anything yet. Not sure if he is legit or just looking to collect pictures. I did not send him any with my email. we’ll just have to wait and see if he answers back, and if he doesn’t, well delete!

    I gotta go to bed now. I have to work tomorrow 9-5.

  26. Caligirl says:

    Sweet or Sour Sugar Experiences….that’s the topic isn’t it? That’s what I understood. Positive or negative stories, its a way to learn. I feel for everyone here… and accept everyone unconditionally… so don’t stop sharing. Have no expectations of others and you will not be disappointed.

    Here’s something positive. I am getting contacted like crazy today…log into yahoo…five windows pop up fella’s wanting little ole me…phone on computer rings,an old flame on the line..checked e-mail new potential SD here in town wanting to see me tommorrow and on a regular basis!!!!Yaaaaah…its raining SDs in my part of the neighborhood…How did I do it I dunno? I have been treating my Daddies with sugar for awhile now. Harvest time is coming soon:)

    Smile everyone, even you Yael… yes there are SD’s on here that love beautiful women of color :) Black, Spanish, Asian… Okay you all….I am doing the happy dance today….I am dancing off the page now….LMAO!!!!

  27. bostonTerrier says:

    yael, i’m a person of color … i’m black too! :)

    i read what you wrote and in someways i can relate. i always wonder if guys on this site – where most are older white men – would be interested in me, a younger black female. i don’t respond to profiles as i don’t know if someone would be interested and i never talk to guys with the “seeking an ebony princess” title or something like that in their profiles. i don’t want someone to be my sd simply because i am black and he has a color fetish.

    i’ve had a fair amount of success on this site [none of which have been of color] from some really nice guys who don’t care about race – they’re more interested in my looks & intelligence which i find extremely flattering. in terms of looks i’m not ugly and i don’t want to sound conceited but i *know* i am beautiful [it really sounds like conceit here and i swear i am not conceited] and i am 99% positive that is what has gotten me x amount of responses to my profile.

    i know it can be kind of uneventful at times but if you stick it out i am positive you’ll find someone!

  28. Much Experience says:

    Yael, thanks for posting honestly.. Sorry to hear about your frustrating experiences, but please be brave & patient. Like ChicBaby, I also feel that it’s better to have no sugar than bad sugar. Listen, I’ve had over 600 views of my profile on the site, and one actual person-to-person meeting. It takes time to find a really good match…

    You can’t let the world get you down. There are definitely a lot of guys who are looking for s/o like you. Keep working on your profile essays until you feel really good about them & get pics up there that are at least “OK” and give a sense of your figure. Remember that for most people, maybe 1% of their potential prospects (IOW people of desired sex & age group) are actually going to “click” with them in any real way..

    Sincere good luck :)

  29. SouthernGent2 says:

    Yael – you hit a pretty heavy topic there about seeing someone of color. Are you open to potential sd’s of all races, or do you have one racial preference in mind? The topic you brought up makes for an interesting thread of discussion, though possibly quite controversial.

  30. lisa says:

    well I haven’t had much luck on this site lately either. Have met a total of 4 men on this site since I joined. I am white and blond, but….. i’m far from under 25, more like 42. I find many men cut of at 39 or 38. I am very petite and although not a size 3, I am a size 5 in juniors (yes I still wear juniors sizes as i hate misses clothing and it never fits me right). I am often mistaken for younger when I walk down the street (not by the kind of man I am interested in but still these undesirable men that I pass still have eyes and notice me even though they are usually much younger than me, so why can’t a nice man in his 50-60’s give me a chance.
    I have received a few emails from much younger guys that I have a feeling were just playing, you know the ones that probably get together with their friends and set up free profiles so they can boost their egos and pretend to be sds.

  31. yael says:

    Oh how sweet of you thank you for your positivity chic baby…. see… I knew I would feel better after blogging with you all…. I will stick it out… and you ARE right some of the ones…”seeking Ebony” or seeking “hot-latin-mami” are sometimes kinda pervi-ish on the seeking ethic whore… type….. I’m a dark skinned hispanic lady and I personally think my complexion is great and I’m proud to be of color but I am NOT some pervs ethnic fetish fantasy LOL…. But it’s all good… I really appreciate your positivity and I’m gonna “Woo-saaah” and breathe a little a get back on the grind soon….. Does anybody know if they have already given out the free tickets to SBs for the event?… I had a hard time uploading a pic and it didn’t give me any comfirmation that it had gone through…..

  32. ChicBaby says:

    yael – I’m so sorry to hear about what you’ve experienced on the site. I am not of color (but I’m not a blond model either!) so I cannot say I’ve gone through the same thing, but I have noticed some men saying in their profiles specific races they are interested in. They aren’t the men you want anyway! Hold on, stick it out, and I know you’ll find the perfect man who will appreciate you just as you are, a beautiful and intelligent woman!

  33. yael says:

    Oh maybe my luck will change…. one day…. some day…. I DON’T discriminate, why do so many other people?

  34. ChicBaby says:

    I’ve far and away had more positive experiences on this site than negative. In fact, I really like to think of the negatives as positives because they helped me define for myself what I am looking for. The dry spells can be hard, but I’ve always preferred to have no SD than a bad SD. I don’t want to settle, and I don’t want to be settled for.
    Currently things are looking very nice indeed for me! I’ve been having a lot of fun with the men I’m talking with, and even if that’s all I get out of it, I’m happy!
    I’m really trying to avoid any negativity right now, so I was disappointed when I read through the comments on this post to see that the majority were negative. I think that staying positive is the way to attract new opportunities.

  35. yael says:

    Hey I am having absolutely NO luck with this site… Are there any females of color in here on this blog?…. It seems most of the guys don’t want females of color… Is anyone else experiencing this? I usually ask now in the subject of my emails do they have a racial preference because when I don’t put that they sometimes don’t even open the message but today one wrote me back saying he ususally doesn’t answer that question but he appreciated the rest of my letter and I seemed like an interesting and intelligent female but he added that he did NOT date out of his race…. I’m starting to get discouraged…. I really do take the time to read the profiles well and point out similar interests and things that are nice in their profiles, and some guys seem like they would be perfect matches with me… but gosh I reall ythought times had changed seing as how noone ever hesistates to admit that Halle berry or beyonce or Naomi campbell and other women of color are beautiful… granted I’m no halle, but by all means, I am considered by most to be of that caliber of beautiful… It’s a bit heartbreaking I guess… to think so many of the men on this site have such narrow views and set so many limitations…… They act like they can just custom order up some perfect 5’10 thin blonde model under 25 whose funny, smart genuine, honest, great attitude, out-going, friendly,down to earth, classy, beautiful….. it’s hard to find alot of attributes in just general populations let alone under such resrictions… I read one profile that seemed so weet and genuine and the guy actually added in at the last line please be blonde, white and a size 3 or less…… WOW. Even in som eof the profiles when they say looks don’t matter… but apparently race does…….. I understand attraction and personal preference and taste are important and all and everyone is absolutely entitled to have their personal preference but I wish that this site would make the searches more specified so I’m not basically wasting my time searching and emailing men who dead-set do NOT want a woman of color at all….. I guess I’m just so disappointed and even a bit hurt and want to vent to you all….. everyone in the blog is always honest and helpful… so I appreciate you guys.. So that’s why I want to share…. It just is frustrating to be attractive and nice and deserving…. In my community and to my “people” I’m top of the line, music video georgeous…. can’t walk down the street peacfully, am considered intimidatingly beautiful… (that consequently is the biggest complaint and set-back in my dating experience… so I’ve been told by my close male friends… ) How bout that? …. too good… too pretty… then to come here and be like the bottom of the barrrell to some man who isn’t even all that hot or way older…. I personally like a bit of the salt and pepper hair thing… silver fox man is alright with me… and some of the ‘few extra pounds’ guys are ok too…….. LOL… but all the same… for so many to be so closed and critical…. it feels like being the unpopular girl in some sick, rich , cyber high school… and being the one not asked to prom……..

  36. lisa says:

    I know what you mean bellababydoll. Gifts and trips are nice but they don’t pay the bills and who can just travel all the time without an income?
    I was unemployed for over a month and just started working yesterday. After my last paycheck was spent on bills I found myself in desparate need of money for food and money and I did meet two potential sds within a week of each other. Neither went past the first date but they did both take me shopping and I got some cute things, nothing extravagant , just some nice makeup and perfume and clothes, etc. But I found myself not having money to get around or buy groceries. I enjoyed my shopping but after it was over I sat around my house bored and broke worrying about my bills, so I too prefer an allowance. anyway it’s a lot easy to have the money and shop on our own than drag some guy around who just doesn’t understand shopping. lol

  37. bellababydoll says:

    I had a sd a few years ago although I didnt realize he was a sd. It was great but then I moved across the country and he wanted someone who was in town. I am trying to find one now, I have a date with a potential sd on thur. I hope it goes well. I always ask in the emails what the exact arrangement is, and they never say anything until we meet. so hopefully this one wants to give me an allowance. I dont want to go on trips all the time or have gifts. I need the money desperately. so i hope all goes well

  38. lisa says:

    I will send him an email back. It’s just my cell phone takes really bad pics and it makes me look fat when I am actually thin. I will send him the same ones that were already on my profile before because that’s all I have. If he starts asking for anything inappropriate or stops being a gentlemen, that will be the end of him.

  39. Ms. V says:

    get it Lisa…ooh! maybe you two could EXCHANGE camera phone pics???
    satisfy 2 desires…and you could both use the same excuse haha!!

  40. dreamer says:

    why not.. And camera phone pix are as good as any. If a sd cant take a pic of your ‘bad side’ then how would he like you in real life?

  41. Caligirl says:

    Go for it Lisa!!…You never know what might happen. We are here if you need us:)

  42. lisa says:

    I need some advice ladies. Ok I got a email from a gentleman whom I contacted a long while back and he just sent me a neutral response back, I answered and he never wrote back. He has been on here since nov or dec of 2007 and doesn’t give any specifics to financial support or anything. well I sent him an email awhile back when I redid my profile as I was just reworking my leads,so to say. I got a message from him last night and he wants to exchange photos, talk on the phone, etc. I have not gotten back with him yet as I don’t know what to do. I am weary of him being on here for that amount of time. and he has only one photo that is very poor quality head shot only. i have had several different photos on my profile and always have 3 on my profile. I have no more photos as I lost all my photos when my desktop computer crashed and I no longer have a camera, just a cellphone camera and it’ difficult to take good pictures of myself. I am weary of a man who wants to trade a lot of pictures, especially when he has only 1. What should I do in this situation?

  43. dreamer says:

    oh i wasnt going to give him free sex, haha. Thats why i havent met with him yet. Ive been doing everything i can to avoid it until he talks :)

  44. lisa says:

    If he talked about things to do in bed, you can bring up the allowance. if he doesn’t want to talk about the allowance, tell him you want to take it slow and just be platonic friends for now. If he is just after free sex, that will get rid of him.

  45. dreamer says:

    well we didnt talk about a set allowance which bothered me a little bc he def talked about set things to do in bed. Maybe i will try to talk to him ahain tomorrow. Idk. Im really tired right now.

  46. lisa says:

    you can have my job. I spent the day lifting heavy boxes and stocking stuff. My nails are totally messed up. I have to cut them all off when I got home cause they were ragged from opening boxes. I’m glad i’m off tomorrow so I can rest and get some stuff done. the person who is training me obviously doesn’t like to take breaks either. I worked from 8 am till 2 pm without a break or food. Took lunch at 2 and went back at 2;30 and got off at 4.

    I need me a sugar daddy too. I agree dreamer about not wanting to give some guy a week of your time, that’s too much without he’s just that great and nonstop fun but a week is too long. I had one awhile back that wanted me to just jump on a plane at my expense and spend 10 days with him. He didnt’ even verify an allowance and I had no money to travel anywhere. I think he might have been on this blog one time awhile back but he denied being the one that congtacted me but I noticed he hasn’t posted since that day. He has been on this site at least 6 months.. appearantly his offer isn’t so sweet as he has no takers.

  47. dreamer says:

    hmmm.. Well ladies. I guess my sd expierence is going sour fast. He wrote me today and asked me to spend a week with him and i told him a day or two is fine, but not that long. I hope i am lucky like you guys, i need a job too now :(

  48. nycblondiebay says:

    Hmm, bad experiences? The only ones that I can think of is getting emails from guys wanting sexy pictures immediately. Like in the first email demanding them.

    That’s really about it. I’ve had a few conversations with potential SD’s but haven’t met a single one yet.

  49. AlaskanQT says:

    LOL well, I am an early riser and all but that was I had come home late from a night of playing designated Driver for some friends… Now 5 hours later I’m up with the kids playing the rolse of super mom. I might acctually get work done today too because the Pats are on a Bye week and I won’t have to miss the game.

    So are any of yall ever going to make it up here and be able to join me for Sushi and Sake? It’s hard because I can’t talk to many people here about my Sugar experiences and we all know I love to talk :)

  50. Caligirl says:

    Good Morning Everyone,

    QT, by the looks of your timestamp I thought you were an early riser, and then I remembered Alaska time. I thank you too for your great advice.
    Ms.V, wowee…a job,2 jobs, I am extremely happy for you!!! Lisa got one, you got one, and hopefully I am next:) NOW, just because you have a job doesn’t mean that you have to slack off on your job here. No siree…I need to know what happens on your ride, strap on or not, thighs turn more golden from the sun,results from the physical.
    Crea8tor, you are back…good! that you are working on smoothing out the feathers on the chickens:) and other peoples perception. I see that you love having a connection with someone also.
    Hello mimi:) Thank you for sharing your story with us. It would make a great Lifetime movie. I cried at the end. I hope you have a sweet ending.
    Blondie, we are all envious of you. I might have to take a peek at the Canadian men.Yah!!!

  51. AlaskanQT says:

    cre8tor: LOL only the first part was immediately dirrected toward you. The rest was meant as a general thing. I can tell from previous posts that you like to have a connection :)

  52. Ms. V says:

    things are moving slowly

  53. mimi says:

    hi girls! i’ve been reading this blog/your responses for a while and thought it was time to chime in since this post hits “close to home.”
    i am (was?) involved with a man i began talking to several months ago from the site. after endless emails, phone chats, and texts we finally met in person about 2 months ago. he flew me to him which i normally would not do but i felt very comfortable with him and i’m glad i took that chance – everything was perfect and we got along even better than i had ever imagined. over the next few weeks he flew me to wherever he was on business and always worked around my class schedule. unfortunately his wife found out and he has to keep a low profile now (this all happened just several days ago) i have expressed to him that i would love to see him again once the dust settles but at the same time – as much as i like being around him, i cannot wait around forever. i was fairly upset at first because we had just recently began to enjoy each others company and it ended just as soon as it started. we still email so hopefully this story will end up turning sweet again =)

  54. cre8tor says:

    QT: thank you for all your thoughts and advice. It is naturally a part of my personality to have a connection with someone I’m intimately involved with so that isn’t a problem. The other guidelines are good ones to use. Hope all is well up there in the land of snow. I’m steaming down here in wine country! SG2 so sorry to hear it. You have always had good advice and a SouthernGent comes through in your comments. I’m sure all of us here can help you feel wanted and desired!

  55. dreamer says:

    yes, he must have known i was talking about him. Haha. He says he was in a meeting. We have been talking for almost two weeks and he is the one who asked me to come to his house for the first date and i said no. I think a girl telling him no turned him on haha. I bailes out of our first date, really bad, i know, but they called me into work. And he still writes me evey day and when he gets back from this business trip we are supposed to meet. He talks about spoiling me all the time, and we really click sexually 😉 and thats always a plus. So we will see how it goes!

  56. SouthernGent2 says:

    Cre8tor – ChicBaby has messages of admiration from me waiting to be read. But we are in two different cities, and with travel being something of an obstacle for me at times, I may just have to admire her from long distance.

  57. AlaskanQT says:

    Cre8tor: Hope work goes well for you. I’m glad that you chose to not bow out of the blog like you said you might. I know that I would miss you :)

    I haven’t had much time to blog lately due to work but I do try to read every day for a minute or two.

    This topic is about general advise from what I am getting. Having been a sugar babe a few times before this is my bit of adise:

    Set limits for the relationship. DO NOT step outside of them for any reason without discussing a change in terms before you do. If you say you don’t travel for a first meeting then DON’T (makes you seem like a push over who won’t stick to her values) If he says don’t call then DON’T. If you set an allowence and all of a sudden you have an extra bill don’t ask…. Terms should be set based on mutual need and you need to know what your needs are befroe you accept an arrangement.

    Be friends with your SD. Don’t be in it just for teh money or the gifts… You need to be involved with someone because you enjoy your ime with them not because they were the highest (or in some cases only) bidder. Find something you have in common… don’t go for hot… go for talk and most likely you will find hot in it :)

  58. cre8tor says:

    SouthernGent2: I thought maybe you and Chicbaby had hit it off. Ah yes, that perception thing. Have been caught up in that a few times. Hope you are doing well. By your knowledge of Bacchanalia restaurant, I assume you are in the Atlanta area? I’m heading down that way tomorrow for work….not for the dinner that was so widely publicized here.

  59. Ms. V says:

    What if: What if this site was created by a group of like 5 men, and they use it as a way to dip into this flavorful rainbow without much effort?

    just saying…heh

  60. Ms. V says:

    are you guys in florida??? IT IS 3:19 HERE IN cALI…TIME STAMP

  61. Ms. V says:

    SouthernGENT- are you trying to be all sexy/mysterioso on us today?
    do it again! i think it’s working!

  62. Gail says:

    Awwww. How sweet is that. He must have felt you talking about him. Enjoy, he is all yours.

  63. Blondiegirl says:

    Hahaha Dreamer.. that happened to me too.. The guys that had totally shot me down, emailed me once I had changed my pictures and were telling me I was beautiful and how they wanted to meet Karma is terrible, they got shot down.
    Yay a soon to be SD in your life, tell us more!
    i get so excited when i hear others happy stories.

  64. Gail says:

    Ok Southern Gent2, tell us, who took you. Was it sweet or sour? If Creator led us down the wrong path, tell it like it is. There are so many SBs here that would like the opportunity to know more about you. (Oh!!! I didn’t mean me) Set the record straight for the ladies.(Smile)

  65. SouthernGent2 says:

    Cre8tor – taken again? You must know some secrets about my mysterious behavior. Perception can be a funny and misleading thing though.

  66. dreamer says:

    nvm. Knock on wood. There he is lol

  67. dreamer says:

    wow… bt and blondie must be really beautiful. I put new pix up yesterday and im not getting half as many emails. Its sorta depressing. But i am having some of the same guys i have turned down before start messaging like they didnt even remember who i am! and my, supposidly, soon-to-be sd hasnt text me at all today. I wonder whats up :\

  68. Blondiegirl says:

    I have only had one bad experience, I find the men I meet are usually very kind, other than this one jerk.. He was nice during the dinner and turned into a total different man trying to forcefully get into my pants. .. But thank goodness I have not had any others like him..

  69. cre8tor says:

    LOL you are too funny. Between Blondiegirl and BostonTerrier we know where the men are. And, it seems our SouthernGent2 might be taken again. But, speaking to the subject of this blog, I haven’t had any bad things happen to me but I also haven’t been doing this very long. Just recently I could have gotten myself in trouble, but it worked out okay by using intuition. Oh, and the one man that promised me something and I believed him when he told me to use my credit card and he would reimburse. THAT was an expensive mistake. I would like to add though, that when doing traditional dating, I had many more bad experiences than here.

  70. Blondiegirl says:

    Hope everyone is having a good day..
    So I have been narrowing down my list, I had over 10 the other day.. good thing I make them talk to me for a little before meeting me, it always weeds out some of the bad ones. I went to coffee with one, he was extremely quiet and lunch with another yesterday he was a very sweet man, kept complimenting me though, which gets old after a while.. He kept telling me how he was shocked i agreed to go for lunch with him.. So I told him I was not interested at the end of the lunch. He was really sweet guy but not for me.. Anyone in Canada need a sweet guy. I am having dinner with a man next wek that I am very every excited to finally meet (he is my favourite) and another if flying in to see me next weekend (plans are in place) and another flying in during the week (plans not yet in place but I have a good fleeling that he is not a flake, lol).. I have been trying to catch up on my school work so that all these dates will go smooth without stress on my part, I have to say, finding a sugar daddy is a lot of work.. I have to keep many men straight which is a trouble of mine lol good thing they all are good sports and laugh at me when i mix them up. .. It is defiantey nice to feel this wanted but really I just want one or two and be done with it, im having trouble narrowing it down. Perhaps my dates this coming week will help.

  71. Questioning says:

    I can understand the using the manners, but the moderation thing was a pain. I would type a message and 5 hours later it would be put on the site.

  72. cre8tor says:

    Truly Divine: Ahhhh, if only we could filter them all through a process so the true SD/SB’s of quality would be there. But, I agree with you all the way. BTW…the moderation process was to assure we were all using our manners in speaking to each other.

  73. Truly Divine says:

    Lisa: Not that I know your exact situation or what you like, but the last SD I met made me think of you. Very nice guy, nice house, plane, boat… but seems to want more of a girlfriend/boyfriend type relationship with the possiblity of longterm. He kept trying to offer me a job, saying he would pay $20 dollars/hr to basically be his assistant. Plus take care of me. He lives in Austin area though.

    Just thinking of you Lady…

  74. Truly Divine says:

    Hello Everyone! I haven’t posted in a while,but I’m back!
    I like this topic, I’ve been talking to a few guys on here and actually met one, very nice guy but not the type of relationship I’m seeking. I do wonder why I haven’t established anything.I prefer being the “other woman”. I don’t want a committed relationship, maybe monogamous, but no obligations.
    As Lisa, Greg Westin, MuchExperience and others have posted some guys are not (lack the savy)genuine SDs. I realize socioeconomic class can be a very relative term. What is considered cheap to one person could be considered classy to another. A SD takes a SB out, offers her $25 for gas and an appetizer, but then expects a SB to meet 2-3 times per week, and expects to treated like a king. The bottom line, he never knew how to treat a lady,SB or a wife.

    On the other hand here’s a SB who has been booted out of almost every restaurant downtown, fills her Myspace page with detailed stories and pictures of her dates,acts like an unappreciative spoiled princess, and still demands 10k/ month.

    In my humble opinion, some people just simply lack the capacity to be a genuine SB or SD. They don’t understand the concept, dynamic of the relationship and thats why things go sour.

    As we all know there are some things money just cannot buy.

  75. bostonTerrier says:

    oh is there no more moderation?! i hated the moderation thing

  76. bostonTerrier says:

    lol, i’m not gone! this week with school (and dates) has been a bit hectic.

    i still have 2 sds though … not the same guys. one of the originals was into odds things and into taking pictures and i just cannot get down with that even if my face wouldn’t be in them. and then this other guy had the audacity to say he was “intimidated by [my] beauty” which is why he stopped talking to me after three dates (that was a fun conversation i might add). both guys were pretty generous and nice aside from their flaws … it was hard to push them aside but i want someone normal.

    now i have two new guys. i really sound bad moving from 2 sds to 2 new sds within a few weeks but i can’t help it :) we’ll see how these two go in the upcoming weeks. they’re really nice so far but then again i’m basing this off of the first dates. i really have positive feelings about them though … i know they’re legitimate b/c both sent their websites and on the company info page there pictures were there and whatnot. i’m crossing my fingers!

    you all should move to boston!

  77. Questioning says:

    Maybe we need to move to Boston.

  78. Questioning says:

    We must hunt her down! LOL

  79. cre8tor says:

    Where’s BostonTerrier: I think she has them all!

  80. Questioning says:

    My Gosh, it is so sad we have pretty much lost all faith in finding a few good men.
    What in the hell is this world coming to?

  81. dreamer says:

    well goodmorning to you guys too! looks like you were up way before me.. Ive already been rejected so many times, i do not expect much from men. I try not to expect anythibg at all. But it is part bc i am so picky. They HAVE to have a great personality. I do not care if they are a multibillionaire if they have the personailty of a brick. Looks matter too, but not as much. Im sorry men, but if you millionaires and you have bad teeth (thats the worst!!!!), you are overweigh, or are overly cheap in your dating (which includes but not limited to: wearing old worn out shoes, considering any type of hotel that includes the name motel, renting a car that i could have afforded to buy myself, or suggesting skipping the dinner for the hotel) sorry, but you will see me running out the door with my heels on still. Haha. Ive kinda lost faith that there are good guys out there still but im secretly hoping there are.. so if they come around, it will be that much better!

  82. lisa says:

    well i just looked at the new members for my state and there are all repeats,just renewals of the same guys that have been on here, 2 of them which actually contacted me when I first joined and then disappeared. we need a major sd transfusion over here lol.
    I start work tomorrow and would like to meet a new sd on thur or fri when i’m off, I need to shop. lol I get my first tiny check this next week for 8 hours of training but after union fees, uniform fees, and paying for employment verification (because my previous employer had never heard of me) my check will suck, less than 30 dollars , blahh! send me a sugardaddy I need a sephora fix.

  83. Questioning says:

    YOU HAVE MY LUCK! (caps intended)
    I know exactly what you mean. There has got to be some great guys left in this world. I am still holding out hopes for the one I have been talking with from here, but believe me my eyes are still wide open. I don’t want to miss any fish that may be swimming by who may be a great catch.
    I am so glad these posts are finally going through.
    I actually complain right on some of my posts about the time it was taking and they were not posted. hahahaha

  84. lisa says:

    edit first line above “i always avoided MEN with young children not “me” lol

  85. lisa says:

    I know as I always avoided me with young children as mine is almost grown. with men marrying older and older, it is so common to find men my age and older that have toddlers. I thought that this man would be different. he had 4 children over 20 and all were sucessful, 3 were married. Many times he wouldn’t let me stay overnight because he had to get up early to take his grown daughter to the airport to travel on business and her husband didn’t want to have to get up and drive. Also he was always having to reschedule to go to one of their houses to fix things. The best excuse was when his daughter moved in with him. He couldn’t take me out because he had to babysit while his daughter went out clubbing and I couldn’t come over when she got in because it would n’t look good to his daughter is I spent the night. Keep in mind the daughter is in her 20’s and has a child and no husband so it sounds to me like she might have spent the night with someone. lol anyway everything he told me to do, he contradicted by not doing himself, he didn’t take his own advice. lol
    I was a sad situtation because he was a good catch. attractive, educated, made good money as a geologist, drove a mercedes, and fun to be with, but his women skills were lacking. He had been married 3 times, so i guess that is a red flag. He was always suggesting I join some loser site lite eharmony or plentyoffish. you know those sites with a bunch of broke loser guys. I tried that eharmny crap and some guy rejected me because I didn’t answer one of his automated questions. It was “what is one thing you could not live without?’ my answer was “food” he didn’t like my answer because he expected me to say ‘the bible’ i was thinking more on the practical side, you can’t live without food but you can live without a book.

  86. Questioning says:

    Man Lisa, That is pitiful!
    Great that he wanted to help his daughter, but come’on! There is having a life and children, as most of us know.

  87. lisa says:

    Well I had a boyfriend that kind of like a sugar daddy. He didn’t give me money or pay my bills but he did buy me clothes, groceries, toilertries, take me to nice restaraunts, etc. I had told him about my issues with my family trying to control my life. He told me I needed to be independent and since my daughter was almost grown, I should give her space to accept that she couldn’t run my life and she would come around.
    Well after a few months of dating he purchased a new house, which he had asked my advice on for months about decorating, etc. He just dropped me in a seconds notice. He went from being crazy over me to just not caring. He spent the last days of our relationship trying to talk me in to getting a job as a waitress because I would make alot of money (he suggested working at chilis or denny’s) lol well the funny thing is the reason he could not date me anymore is because he was moving into his new house and one of his adult daughters was going to move in with him with her baby. He would not be able to date anymore because he had to babysit while his daughter went to school and worked. Keep in mind this man made over 100K and could have hired a sitter occasionally for his daughter. Ironic how he told me not to let my daughter run my life and he turned out to let his kids run his life and end his dating life.

  88. Questioning says:

    Hi Gail!
    I think you got me and Dreamer mixed up. Yes, I am fine thanks.
    Enjoy your tea. I think I am going back to bed for a bit.
    I am sooooo glad the posts are going quicker! I hope to chat with you later. You have a good day too.

  89. Gail says:

    Ooop sorry I got the story mixed up…I meant to say sorry to Questioning. Good morning to you Dreamer!!!

  90. Gail says:

    I am so sorry to hear you story..are you okay? Now that is really sad. It looks like me and you here this morning.

    The time it takes to post is improving a bit:) Now I am just wondering if everyone will be back soon.

    By the way, good morning Dreamer. I am going to brew a cup of tea this morning. Have a good day!!!

  91. Questioning says:

    Hi Gail and Dreamer!
    I totally agree on both issues. I am not happy with the time it takes to get things posted. And I too am looking forward to the stories.
    I myself had a sugar relationship that unexpectedly ended. He just disappeared. He was diagnosed with cancer and never let me know, he spent his remaining years with his family. Meanwhile, I was very much in love with him (about 10 years together). I nearly went nuts. I sent letter after letter to the address he had told me to use, I made phone call after phone call (to the number I was to use). I even went so far as to have male friends call and leave messages on his home phone (where the wife was) for him to call “them” back. Never got a single call. Last year I contacted his son (grown son in his 40’s) through email said I was a former employee of his father (his father owned l huge business) and I had ran across his email address on the net, Asked how Dad was doing. Only to find Dad (my Sugar Daddy, love of my life, best friend) had passed on a year before. I thought I too was going to die. It hurt me terribly that I could not be there with him during that time.

  92. dreamer says:

    im here haha. It is slow. But maybe we will get sone quality conversation. When ppl tell their stories on this one we know 90% of them are going to be about sour. We have all experiences or heard about those. Im ready to hear some sweet stories!!!!

  93. Gail says:

    Wow! It worked! Didn’t have to wait this time. Is anyone there? Am I all alone. Where are you? LOL Talk to me someone.