12 years ago
Sugar Profile Success


An arrangement is what you make it…

Whether you’ve joined recently, or have been on the site for a while – by now you’ve probably noticed that in order to see the results you want, you mustn’t be timid about making your desires known.

Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies, gay and straight, male and female, will likely see how changing their profile to reflect who they are, why they’re here, and, in their own unique way, how they want their sugar served, is crucial to getting the results they seek.

But having a thoughtful and descriptive profile is only part of what can make, or break, a Sugar Daddy dating experience.

Your message campaign is typically just as if not more important than your profile text. If your inbox isn’t as satiated as you’d like, try a more aggressive messaging strategy. No one likes getting an obviously duplicated message, but in order to get your ‘message’ across to as many potentials as possible, you may consider drafting one that contains general information about yourself, the type of arrangement you seek, as well as a portion that describes the specific reasons why you think a given potential may just be the right match for you.

Everyone will develop their own system – that is, if they keep their spirits up, and stave off discouragement. Discouragement is the #1 arrangement killer; it takes out all the fun, drains self-esteem, and can possibly set you up for certain Sugar Daddy dating failure.

Does anyone here have qualms about describing the type of arrangements they truly desire (whether it’s through your profile, or messages)?

Who prefers to let a potential Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby lead the way? Why might you want the ‘other’ to take charge?

Is there an arrangement you are too shy to seek? Does anyone have an arrangement fantasy they think too strange, unlikely, or impossible to request?

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93 Responses to “Sugar Profile Success”

  1. Lisa says:

    There is obviously a lot to know about this. I think you made some good points.

  2. Robin says:

    I am in exactly the same situation as Jen from Canada. Just joined last night and am not sure what to put out on my profile. As serious college students we seldom have time for serious relationships, but I do miss having a real man to satisfy my needs (one way or the other). I’m actually looking for mutual attraction and not just money and stuff. I can get by with my part time job and the help from my family. Plus it’s hard to be attracted to guys my age no matter how cute they look. I guess what I’m getting at is, I’m looking for more than exchange of time for money, yet I don’t want a relationship that takes me away from my studies/work. Please tell me if I’m on the wrong website…

  3. Gail says:

    Slow is better, rushing things too fast may end the process quickly. Take your time to find out more about him and find out what you truly want. You will be okay….we have all been there before. And know that we are here for you. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!!

  4. BlkButtafly says:

    I’m very new to this whole SD/SB arrangement. I know what I don’t want but not necessarily what I want. I’d love to make it known on my profile without coming off as being too harsh. Plus I’m afraid that if I limit myself, it will limit my responses :-(…anywho I’ve been in contact with a potential SD lately. He’s new to the concept too which is why I assume his amount says open-negotiable. Also, I prefer married men b/c of their busy schedules and non-clinginess (LOL new word of the day!) and this new guy is single but works 50+ hours a week so it’s ok 4 now. I don’t want to get too excited too fast but I hope it works out! Though it’s moving a little slower than I want it to 🙁

  5. NC Gentleman says:

    Hi Jen — good luck in your search. I have had two arrangements, and both involved financial support and spoiling, and I suspect most arrangements after that way. However, with both arrangements, the financial support got awkward and it ended up being just gifts and spoiling… so things can change. The key is communication and chemistry, without both of them, it isn’t going to work very long.

  6. Jen says:

    Hi everyone!

    I am brand new to this site, but have spent quite a few hours tonight perusing the blogs and joining the website. I honestly didn’t think I would ever do something like this, but I have realised in reading this website and others that Arrangements are completely respectable. I specifically wanted to post on this thread in response to blondie because I too am from Canada! I am a new SB but am interested in a NSA relationship for the same reason as many of the other young women on this site – it is not because I am insecure or have low self esteem. It is because I know what I want, and also find that I cannot get that from men my own age – I am 21. For the most part I find dating other university students completely unappealing, as they are immature and don’t know how to treat a woman. Trying to pick me up at a bar with some cheesy pick up line is not a date. As a student I have little time for a job to help pay off debt,, or to meet new people. So why not kill two birds with one stone? I am really hoping to find a SD who I have chemistry with – that is the most important thing to me. I have no problem with intimacy as long as the chemistry is there. And as far as the financial stuff goes, I agree that being spoiled is nice. Is there possibility for arrangements that are sort of a mix between spoiling and allowance? I guess as I’m new to this any suggestions for getting started would be appreciated. Anyway, everyone here seems to be genuinely nice people, and I hope you all find what you’re looking for! I look forward to reading replies on these blogs. Cheers from Canada!

  7. SuthrnExec says:

    Let’s hang our shingle!

  8. NitemareSD says:

    Another arrangement saved with the counsel of the blog.
    We should keep count like McD’s.

    [b]Over 1 saved[/b]

  9. lisa says:

    careful there Steve J, remember you are sleeping with two women, your wife and sb, and she was sleeping with you and another guy, it’s no worse for a woman to have two lovers than it is for a man. She is no more a slut that you are (I’m not sure what word fits guys, lol 🙂

    Now if she is with everyone,then she is a slut, same goes for guys, lol

  10. Steve J says:

    thanks all!!! we worked it out last nite..the guys done, i’m gonna try hard not to be a jealous freak, and she’s gonna try real hard not to be a slut! see what happens.

  11. NitemareSD says:

    It sounds pretty minor so far. You have to discuss and negotiate.

    Is she going to insist on continuing with this other guy? Will she be just with one other? What will she do to ensure everyone’s health?

    Things like that. See what you come out with and take a little time to see what you can live with.

  12. Steve J says:

    Interesting different viewpoint from the SD’s and SB’s!!Nitemare, I’ve known her for years, we were longtime friends first. I trust her with my AMEX. I did ask her for fidellity, I knew about the other guy, they were just friends..then one nite clubbing, drinking, one thing led to another, she felt compelled to tell me, she could’ve lied, I never would’ve known. I’m the jealous type, it’s difficult to put it aside and not get crazy and think it could happen again.! Nitemare, I could trade her in for another model, (had lots of offers) but really don’t want to. there are real feelings involved. Not to mention, she’s smokin hot!!

    Lisa, I’m sure there is lots of La Perla out there that I’ve bought being enjoyed by the next guy! As I’m sure some of the stuff she’s worn for me was from the last guy!

    This is really hard..what to do?

  13. NitemareSD says:

    The description of full supprt makes it likely your support is at a level where you have every right to ask for fidelity. If she refuses, you may want to change her out for another model. 😉

    The fact you are married doesn’t mean you can’t insist on an exclusive SB. She knows you are married and can accpet or decline. Your marriage doesn’t automatically give her the right to go slutting around and ultimately transfer diseases to your wife.

  14. lisa says:

    Steve J. I would be concerned about that. lol I have been known to wear lingerie bought for my by an ex boyfriend when I was with a new boyfriend and I wear the perfume and clothes purchased by past sds when I meet new ones. In all cases, the guys were the ones to end the relationhip though so why let things go to waste.

    I agree though about not wanting her to spend your money on some other guy. The other guy should be paying for dinner.

  15. NitemareSD says:

    Well, you really open yourself up to a lot of potential abuse, esp. with an AMEX card. You ought to protect yourself more.

    How much trust do you have in this person? Did you specifically discuss her fidelity to you? Is your support for her at a level that you would want to require her to agree to that and expect she accept?

  16. Steve J says:

    Thanks Lisa,
    deep down I guess I knew that was the answer, Guess it’s really selfish to expect this gorgeous young thing to be sitting by the phone waiting for me to call…hopefully she won’t buy the guy dinner on my AMEX card!

  17. lisa says:

    Well since you aren’t married to her or in a committed relationship, she has the right to have someone else providing it wasn’t part of the terms of your arrangement. Without you plan to leave your wife and spend your life with the sb, you can’t expect her to put her life on hold and not have a relationship with someone her own age. An arrangement is a somewhat temporary (even a long term one isn’t supposed to last forever) situation and you shouldn’t expect your sb to put her life on hold for you. Enjoy the time you have together and if you seriously want to spend your life with her, tell her and make it a more committed relationship.

  18. Steve J says:

    Can she cheat? I’m a married SD who fully supports my SB. She does have some down time due to my business and family obligations..she’s recently “been” with someone her own age and admitted it to me..says I have to let her live her life as well since I’m married. I expect her to be faithful, I give her everything, down to her AMEX platinum card. truth is, I’m really hurt, we’ve both used the L word in the past, this is way more than just sex. ..who’s right?

  19. racheljay says:

    Well, particularly in upscale hotel restaurants that have bars… You could just ask for a steltzer water and chat up one while waiting;)

    You’ve come to the right place, there are creeps on and offlines, just take precautions or have a sd from here meet you somewhere public, except by talking with them beforehand, you will know more about them from talking and emailing before meeting.

  20. Lulu says:

    Thanks for the advice! I think that the airport would be my best bet as I do fly frequently and I’m too young to get into bars ;).

  21. racheljay says:

    Oh, oppsies lulu, sorry hun, I thought you were asking HOW instead of “how” or where heheh silly me.

    Well, they say most SD hang out in upscale bars, nice ritzy hotel restaurants/bars, sporting advents (near the floor hehe) golf range….. I see a TON hanging around the airport before flying first class whenever I travel- they look spactacular in their business suits and they are always on the phone with a partner of some sort. Give em a little eye and they should be putty in your hands in no time. Especially getting close on the plane where you can possibly score a number, and meet for drinks sometime. Possibily even a seat upgrade yourself.

    Hmmmmm political events….. black tie of course….. i’ll get back to you on the rest;)

  22. racheljay says:

    Lulu, For safety in General when meeting online…..

    Do your research. Get as much information about the person you can. Phone numbers, addresses, etc can be traced just in case things go wrong and you can’t get out of the situation.

    Find a friend you can tell ANYYTHING to and leave them with the information in an email(be upfront with them if possible), text, or possibly, if you have a roomie where all emergency contacts are loacated. Leave this info with them just in case things go sour.

    Find your own way to the meeting place no matter how badly he/she wants to give you a lift. If you like eachother, and feel comfortable, accept it at a later date. Don’t give out your address on the first meet.

    Protect yourself and bring some mace on a keychain- also, meet in a very public place where it’s well lit and you can get away if need be.

    Bring protection just in case *wink*

    On SD dating…..

    It depends on your niche;)

    I would take these things into consideration.

    Get to know eachother over email, phone etc. if you both are okay with it, discuss the arrangement, or at least bounce around the subject so both parties know what they are getting into.

    Take the same precausions as listed above….


    Have fun!!!
    Have fun! 🙂

  23. Lulu says:

    So I have to admit that I am pretty sketched out by meeting people on the internet. Does anyone have any suggestions for meeting an SD in real life?

  24. KP888 says:

    Bocaratongirl. I definately know how you feel with the age thing. I’m 19. When I was 18 I met a 42 year old that I ended up dating for a year. We even lived together for 7 months. My dad is only 41. Obviously its really weird when you think about it that way. But its not as bad as it seems. If u have a connection with the person, you begin to barely ever think about the age difference. I have the same problem with my friends too. I try to tell them as little as possible because sometimes they are not too accepting of it. Its tough but if they’re your real friends they won’t give you too hard of a time.. And its definatelyyy worth it 🙂

  25. NitemareSD says:

    A sweetheart like you can’t be going around with NitemareSD. You need a kind, romantic gentleman from NYC to fly you in for the weekend and treat you wonderfully.

  26. blondesb says:

    you have associates? lol… im looking forward to them.. who are they?

    im just curious in general since I dont get that many responses, what is it my profile is lacking?.. what makes me in your case incompatible?

  27. NitemareSD says:

    You don’t get to be NitemareSD for nothing, but you’ll probably get a message from an associate of mine who would be much more compatible.

  28. blondesb says:

    Yes I would assume that is me.
    you did not say hello though. thanks for not listening lol

  29. NitemareSD says:

    Someone fun and flirty was spotted outside Toronto – very pretty and 5’6″

  30. blondesb says:

    ok you can look but make sure you also say hello… that is the nice thing to do. lol

  31. NitemareSD says:

    Perhaps I will do a little rubbernecking myself.

  32. blondesb says:

    Ontario.. just outside of toronto.. and no my profile is not blondesb… ummm i have 3 pics. 2 with blonde hair and one with brown. that might help… and it says outside of toronto i think for my location.. the main pic has me in lingerie.

  33. lisa says:

    just came across an interesting new profile in my state. A sd is offering an allowance that in a year’s time adds up to more than his yearly income.
    How can a guy who makes less than 100K a year pay an allowance of 20k a month? I suspect fake sugardaddy syndrome

  34. zabreena says:

    hi MishBocaRatonGrl I understand you being a little hesitant about meeting a guy of 46 when u r 18 but if he is as good as he sounds you really ought to meet him. I’m 19 and my experience is deffinitely that the guys in their 40’s make the best SDs. they are wealthier and are so much more appreciative of a younger girl. if he is married i deffo like that and children is better still. married guys arent going to get clingy and they are really appreciative. I’ve met a couple of guys with daughters about my age. they obviously fancied some of their daughters friends but naturally couldnt do anything about it so meeting me was a real thrill for them. and of course with these older guys the sex is sooo much better, grin. go for it babe

  35. cro34 says:

    Blondesb I am in MA Is your profile name blondesb? Which part of Canada?

  36. MishBocaRatonGrl says:

    OooO I don’t think I’d really bring myself to travel for the initial meet & greet.

  37. racheljay says:

    Hey everyone! I’ve missed the blog so much and I’ve been very excited to respond to all of the ones I’ve missed:)

    I’m still a newbie but I’ve popped in on a few blogs, I’ve definately have been reading them for a few months now. Everyone is really genuine and have a ton of advice.

    So, a few of you know that I recently snatched up a sweet SD.

    We had scheduled to meet 2 weeks in advance. I was going to fly to him to attend a 3 day business meeting his company was throwing in another state.

    Of course the plan was that I call off from my flexable part time job, and after talking over a few weeks, everything seemed to be going as planned.

    That is until I never heard from him again! Ladies, I put a bit too much into it.

    I trusted a potential SD who was attached too soon. We only chatted on the site (another SDSB site) and yahoo messenger. I offered other methods, and I respected his marriage.

    I gave him my personal cell number, as well as an email address but he was weary about using them and only stuck to yahoo. Red flag.

    He was very respectful and rarely brought up sex, we had some really intelligent convos and as a gift I loaded a few provacative pics, (probably not the best thing to do before a meet but I’m open minded) and of course, my face is never in them.

    He seemed genuine, I even voiced my concern about trust, and he stated there was nothing to worry about. He saw to two past SBs who were now more successful blah blah. I gave him the bene of the doubt. Wrong move!

    After finalizing plans and a flight- he vanishes. No word from him, no heads up, nothing. He even deleted his account.

    My only reasoning why would be that he got cold feet, or his marriage was in jeapardy.

    As a young intelligent woman, I wouldve understood if he had just told me that our arrangement wouldn’t have worked out for him. But, I’m not at all sour about it, I know that if I’m positive, another will come along eventually.

    So, being that I had a back up plan (other potentials) and my boss had given me an extra 2 days off, I quickly phoned an old SD I had known when I lived in the east coast for a few years. He had missed me when I last visited with friends and had wanted to see me again. A few minutes later, my plane ticket was purchased and I just came back from a quick mini vaca with him, friends, and fam. It truly is great to have a back up plan. I even have a local SD that I meet with from time to time choose a lunch/shopping day.

    Now, to address the topic at hand. I have indeed spruced up my profile. I’m a girl that knows what she wants but I can be passive at times.

    I danced around a lot of things and recently I changed my profile detailing exactly what I want, what I have to offer, and who I am. I think it may come accross as a little too forward but so far I’ve gotten 11 times more profile views then what I had when it was at a certain amount for weeks. I even took down a photo and only now have 2.

    I have the perfect SDSB fantasy, but its a bit provocative and ill leave the rest to your imaginations;)

    Take care everyone, ill b around!

  38. blondesb says:

    Im in Canada.. Not many sugar dadies over here. where are you located croc.

  39. JaneyW says:

    Yes, you do. I learn new things everyday. I find that the sd’s who claim to be very generous are the ones I’m interested in the most, but when they turn out to be fake it breaks my heart. I tend to put in a lot of effort with these guys and feel like a fool in the end when they turn out to be some nobody weirdo.

    What I’m really looking for is at least two long term sd’s who can meet my monthly expectations and are tolerable. That’s not too much to ask for, is it?

  40. bostonTerrier says:

    i totally know about the empty promises … i feel like you have to go through a lot in order to get to the right sd.

  41. JaneyW says:

    Thank you! I just texted him saying I’m going to need a little incentive in order to make that trip. Given my latest sd experiences, all I’ve gotten on the first date is empty promises and a drink. I’m going to start weeding them out by insisting we meet near me and googling our meeting spot to ensure that it is upscale.

  42. bostonTerrier says:

    JaneyW –

    he wants you to drive an hour to meet him for the first time?

    if it’s your first meeting HE should be coming to meet you or you should both meet halfway.

  43. JaneyW says:

    My ultimate fantasy sugar daddy would be the one that Kim has on Real Housewives of Atlanta. Does anyone watch that show? He sends her boxes of shoes from Cristian Dior, Luxury cars, a mansion, and they travel together. On top of that, he isn’t needy or all over her. She’s free to do her own thing. Where are those sugar daddies?

  44. JaneyW says:

    I have gone out with a few guys who just stare at my tits for the whole “get to know you” date and then I never hear from them again. I hate these types of guys because they are a total waste of time and they are looking for a hot date only. I never ask for money on the first date, but know I’m thinking I should.

  45. JaneyW says:

    I met this sugar daddy who wants to meet for coffee and conversation. He wants me to meet him quite early and drive an hour outside the city. He seems to only be able to meet early on the weekends and he only makes 100k/ year, but he said he can meet my monthly expectations. What should I do? He seemed really nice over the phone, but…

  46. dreamer says:

    sorry lisa.. You were in the right so brush it off your shoulder, unless you are interested in him, then ask him to be more specific and clear. But he doesnt sound like he is a good communicator anyway. Welcome back QT!!!! missed you 🙂 so glad the original group is slowly coming back! And newbies, if you have questions, browse old blogs when you get a chance.. Seems like we have covered almost everything dealing with these relationships!

  47. Mina says:

    Zabreena, I hope you don’t actually tell them you’re “going for a pee”

  48. Desi says:

    I’m looking for a man named russ who i cannot write to until I have one more uploaded photo approved . I loved his profile , and would love even more to speak with him , I hope he can see my uploaded photos now and I hope I can speak with him , I hope he will see this blog . I really do . Desi

  49. cro34 says:

    blondesb- i am yet to find the right arrangement. BTW where are you located?

  50. blondesb says:

    AlaskanQT- sorry to hear your SD did not work out but good luck finding a new one and im sure everyone is glad you are back to the blog.

  51. blondesb says:

    AlaskanQT i agree I love the idea of the spoiling. Thats a definate necessary thing. I like the idea that the man got me that present because he wanted to see me smile. Cash just doesnt bring that same smile. Dont get me wrong an allowance is always nice, definately would help pay my tuition and other things.

  52. lisa says:

    ok this morning I got my first response to my new profile ad. First I checked out the profile, it seemed ok but of course it said “amount negotiable” and said nothing of spoiling and actually the profile was quite dull and not very informative. I wrote him back and asked him questions like what part of town did he live in, what was he looking for, etc. I didn’t mention money or anything, just asked some simple questions. went to work and just came home and found a response, they type that I hate, you know the one that says “just look at my profile, it;s all there” rather than actually answer my questions. If it’s all there in his profile, well then there isn’t much there. I hate getting messages like that.

  53. AlaskanQT says:

    now I do have my allowance portion set to “open/ amount negotiable” but that is because I am not really looking for an allowance but more to be spoiled. I also do that because I find i under estimate my value and often get more than I would normally have the guts to ask for. I’m kind of shy in that respect

  54. AlaskanQT says:

    I’m Back! and on the prowl 🙂 My sd and I are unable to get schedule sto coincide right now so we are both on the search for another more convenient arrangement. 🙂

    so let me reread this thread and then I will be right back with my words of wisdom 🙂 as always… Miss you guys!

  55. Jimbo says:

    My personal, one SD’s opinion & advice to SD’s on what to do and SB’s on what is reasonable to expect:

    1.) Be willing to have a few (but not too many) email and phone exchages, send more clear photos if needed to insure there is some degree of acceptance and ideally real attraction. If the calls, emails and photos don’t spark some sense of real chemistry BOTH WAYS don’t waste your time. In the end, it won’t work if the SB just tolerates the SD and if the SD isn’t really attracted to the SB.

    2.) Don’t expect SB to travel to meet SD the first time. Period. If you’re not in the same area, SD meets SB when he has travelled there.

    3.) First meeting can be over coffee, drinks, lunch or dinner. If there is chemistry, get right to the point. Meaning: How often you want to meet, arrangement is exclusive (NSA) or not, pay monthly or per meeting. Travel OK or local only. Just cash, or shopping, spa trips, nice dining, etc. Are you looking for something long term, or play by ear (month to month ;-). See if there are common viewpoints and if expectations are similar. If the two of you have different expectations or views of reality, it won’t work in the end.

    4.) Cash is exchanged, next meeting is intimate.

    IMHO, if things can’t move along that quickly and smoothly, either you have an SD who is a game player (every SB knows what I am talking about) or an SB who doesn’t know the meaning of SB.

    these are only my two cents, (Jimbo’s not my profile name BTW).

  56. MishBocaRatonGrl says:

    SouthernGent2 – P.S. You should FIND THE TIME 🙂 to write me then… Make sure you let me know who you are too

  57. MishBocaRatonGrl says:

    SouthernGent2 – Thanks, yeah I kinda planned on taking it one step at a time, we haven’t met just yet, he lives in Miami, me about 40 minutes away, not a huge distance, but far enough that we wouldn’t run into each other @ the grocery store.

    Blondesb- Thanks babe, needed to hear that… I don’t really have any girlfriends my age that know about this “SB/SD” dating, so it’s hard to get helpful advice.

    Another thing is, I’m the youngest he’s ever spoken to so it’s good to know he’s not some perv that chases barely legal girls.

  58. blondesb says:

    MishBoca- I say definately give him a try. Im 20 so I know how you feel on this. Some of the men I have talked to have been older than my father which is a bit to wrap your head around but Im ok with it. I seem to set my age limit a big higher, although there are always exceptions, some men do not at all look their age. I do agree, when they have a son or daughter my age I worry not only that it would be ackward for me but also for them. It all depends on the guy though. good luck..

  59. SouthernGent2 says:

    MishBoca – Just go with it for now and see if you can be comfortable with it. Its better to give it a try than to walk away without ever knowing. And I keep meaning to message you but have been so busy this week.

  60. MishBocaRatonGrl says:

    Okay, sooo… I’ve found a new Potential SD, he seems… Just too amazing. He’s handsome, he has this gorgeous british accent (which makes me melt), intelligent, witty, charming, sweet, he’s genuinely into what I have to say, and he’s a really good listener. He’s a little older then I’d typically talk to though, he’s 46, and I’m 18 (turning 19 in December) Which , is causing me to draw back a little. We both seem to be on the same page.

    But then back to the age thing, he has a son my age… Even though, he’s amazed w/ how I look and act considering I’m so young, most people thing 20’s… 23ish Physically and 28-29 Mentally. But… He’s…older then my dad… lol

    I’m having more issues with this than I had originally imagined.

  61. blondesb says:

    hi croc.
    No I have yet to find the right guy. Hopefully I will someday. Has your sd experience been a good one so far?

  62. bostonTerrier says:

    i also have to say i agree in that SDs with the “open – amount negotiable” are cheap and worth being avoided.

    while i’m not looking for someone to pay any of my bills – as i have none – i am not looking for someone cheap either.

    i also think you can tell a lot by what hotel someone might be staying in …a ramada inn or whatever it’s called is not going to fly. my family and i don’t even stay in those and i come from a large [7 people] family. and the restaurant thing, i totally agree. my favorite restaurant may be mcdonald’s [it really is] but that isn’t where i’d want to go for a first date with a sd … maybe the third date but definitely not the first. and sd’s who expect you to travel to them on a first date are a no. i’ve had one request that i take a cab to him [i’m a student in boston so i have no need for a car] and it just wasn’t happening.

    there are so many things to look out for with a potential sd!

  63. ExecA says:


    Thanks for your post. I learned a great deal from it and from you.

  64. cbaby says:

    SBinTexas….your last paragraph sums it up perfectly! why is it so hard to find a classy SD like that! as opposed to “so my budget is $x, how often could we meet with that” what do you think i am? i want to enjoy my SD, and want him to spend time with me as i do him…im worth the spoiling, but i’m not going to be tacky like that!

  65. SBinTexas says:

    I agree with the poster above who said that the guys who put “Amount: Open/Negotiable” in their profiles are generally the cheapest dates around. In my experience, most of these guys are posers or time-wasters. I don’t even look at profiles which say “amount negotiable.” Just skip `em.

    If a guy hasn’t checked his budget and knows what he plans to spend on a SB before getting on this site and posting a profile, he obviously doesn’t know what the hell he wants.

    It’s not the lady’s job to tell him what he wants. He has to figure that one out for himself. It’s actually *his* job to tell the lady what he wants in clear and certain terms, and then it’s her choice whether or not to accept his offer.

    If a guy can’t put a financial range of assistance in his profile, letting a lady know what he’s willing/able to provide, then there’s really nothing to talk about, is there?

    Everyone dislikes financial negotiation, especially in such a delicate situation like an SD/SB relationship. In my experience, the best way to avoid this tangled web is to simply post the amount of allowance you are seeking in your profile. So when a guy asks me “how much?” I avoid that conversation altogether and refer him to my profile.

    If a guy sends me an email expressing interest, I look at his profile and check his answer to the “amount” question carefully. If he lists an amount that matches the amount posted in my profile, I’ll certainly consider a first date to see if we have compatability in other areas. If he’s one of those “open/negotiable” guys, I take a pass because I just HATE negotiating.

    Haggling over price in a intimate relationship makes both parties feel tawdry. I think it is in very poor taste. Feels more like a guy looking for street prostitution, where haggling and negotiating is the norm. Classy ladies just don’t do that, and would feel very insulted by a guy asking “hey baby, how much?” — or trying to talk her down from the allowance expectations she posted in her profile.

    The best relationships are those where the two people genuinely enjoy each other’s company and money is hardly ever mentioned. It just sort of magically shows up in your hand or bank account once a month and no further mention is ever made of it, except to say, “thank you, baby! You’re wonderful!!!!”

  66. cbaby says:

    okay, random comment about knowing what you want

    if i email and talk on the phone and text with you for a week, and you text me frequently (more than my real life boyfriend!!) and consistently tell me how excited you are, how much you want to spoil me, and can’t wait to wine and dine me…

    don’t then call and tell me that you’ve made reservations for our first date at MAGGIANO’S. seriously. i’m not impressed. either you think i’m really stupid, you’re not really willing to invest in this relationship, or you’re full of crap and have the same budget as i do.

    ugh, sorry for the diversion, had to share this guys…i’d been so excited!

    i promptly let him know i was not available. call me a bitch, whatever, but i won’t deal with someone who says one thing and does another!!

  67. cro34 says:

    blondesb: Thanks for the reply. yes I am. what about you? Have you found your ideal SD?

  68. sexylady143 says:

    zabreena, southrnexec – thanks for the advice. I’ll give my profile some ‘cosmetic upgrades’ and see what happens. as for the meeting advice, on both sides I’ll know what to do and expect. Cheers

  69. zabreena says:

    I just ignore one or two liners and ones that say ‘send pictures’.

    I dont require pages and pages but they have to have made a bit of an effort and have to show a little bit of originality not just ‘I really like the soun of you’ and if they look like an obvious cut and paste job to every girl on the site I bin em too.

  70. blondesb says:

    Hey Cro34
    I will respond to short emails, as long as they are still kind emails. I refuse to respond to emails such as “your hot”, “i want sex” lol Really do these guys actually think this will get them anywhere? On the flipside if I get a super long email I sometimes wonder how the man has that much time to send that. I personally prefer men who are successful and are busy with their work. Are you a new Sd?

  71. cro34 says:

    Hello I have a question for sugarbabies: If you receive a rather brief email from SDs are you more likely not to respond? The flip side is that some may be too busy to write detailed emails and prefer to get to business in person.

  72. zabreena says:

    MissLondon and sexylady there is no right way to go about this, some suit some better than others but there are clearly some ways that are just better than others.

    I have been on this site for a few months and it has been great, heaps better than others I have tried. I wait for guys to contact me and I chat with some of them on line. I flirt and tease them and get them to tell me what they want and ask them why I should offer it. I insist they make an offer rather than me naming what I want. If they don’t or wont, bin em, plenty more out there.

    I wouldn’t dream of traveling for a first meeting. I meet at lunch or afternoon in a coffee shop, one I can leave out back by saying I am going for a pee. I wear tight cloths, no bare flesh but curves clearly visible. Then i make em wait and ask before I meet for dinner. shopping or gifts have to occur before dinner. On dates I wear clingy low cut short dresses and heels. I never go to bed with them on a first date. I leave them to wait and ask and ask again. More shopping or gifts before the next date and then I go to bed with them. Obviously I can stop the process dead at any time if they dont play to script.

    they have to have made a really good offer before I even meet for coffee.

    And of course you have more than one SD at a time if you can. mine are all from out of town so I only see them now and then so I need a few.

    As for your profile. I go for the arm candy look with bikini shots. Sure they may equate big boobs with small brains but I soon put them straight on that and it sure as hell attracts their attentions – grin-.

    good luck girls

  73. blondesb says:

    You all seem really nice. I love reading this blog.. Hope you are all having a good night.

    And Southrnexec I hope all of us girlies are able to find a great Sugar daddy like you.. Do you have male friends for all of us? lol

  74. MissLondonAnon says:

    Well, it’s certainly nice to hear that you respect your SBs SuthrnExec, i’m sure it makes for a better and more connected relationship.

    Thats one great thing about going to the States for holidays, everyone just can’t get enough of your accent 😉

  75. SuthrnExec says:

    Here’s hoping that I am the rule rather than the exception – although being the exception would be better for me! I do love a Brit accent…

  76. Darn. says:

    LOL suthernexec is like a rare few doll.
    But I do have potential SD stacked up and ready.

  77. MissLondonAnon says:

    Thank you for your input SuthrnExec – I’m rather hoping that your intentions are typical SD behaviour, rather than a one-off! I’m sure i’ll find out at some point

  78. SuthrnExec says:

    MissLondon and sexylady, I’m not sure how to tell you to word your profile to get the attention of the kind of SD you’re looking for. Speaking for myself (and SDs like me) the kind of profile that attracts me is one that is well thought-out and intelligent. Of course, I am still a man and an attractive picture helps – but the picture alone doesn’t get me. I like to be able to “hear” somewhat of the SBs personality in the profile.

    When scheduling a time to meet, I will always meet at the SBs convenience – their location or desired location – I would never request that they come to me. If they offer, I would consider but I would never offer. For the first meeting I will always reserve dinner in one of the finest restaurants in the city where we are meeting. I love fine dining, so this is a “no-brainer”. After dinner, I will suggest going for a walk or having an after drink in a nice place with some nice live music, etc. After I meet a lady, it’s all about chemistry. I never even hint at intimacy in the initial meeting – in fact, it sort of “happens” at later meetings – because, again, it’s about chemistry and it should be something both desire.

    As far the arrangement, I will discuss what I am offering in the way of allowance before the first meeting. So far, with every SB I have met, they have said that they do not want to discuss the allowance until after we’ve met – apparently, chemistry was important to them as well and perhaps they have had situations before where the discussion of the allowance early on made the situation awkward – not sure, but in both cases, everything went well and even though both did not turn into long-term relationships, I think the ladies would tell you today that they felt they were pampered/spoiled and respected the entire time.

  79. sexylady143 says:

    Rosie, Dreamer –
    I also recently joined and you both hit it right on! By I too am tired of “normal dating” aka cheap dates.I ‘m 27 but in an extremely successful career, highly educated, and financially well off. But putting ANY of that on my profile seems to be scaring the SDs off. My monthly expectations are high but numerous have browsed my profile and I’ve gotten some responses. I don’t want someone to take care of me I want to be pampered and spoiled NSAs and very discreet like many of the SDs on the site claim that they want to do. I’m guessing I have to change my approach but the one thing that I have noticed is those that say budget “open negotiable” also mean cheap dates…from those that I have taken up there offer…lets just say there “rendezvous” offers cost less than my purse!

  80. MissLondonAnon says:

    Don’t know whats wrong with me today!!

    Do you have more than one SD at once? & if you do, do they know about the other? or do you avoid telling them?

  81. MissLondonAnon says:

    Forgot to mention in the above; the previous experience I had led to 2 meetings with sex on the second. Afterwards, he showed v. little interested in taking it further, and only really wanted to meet when/if I were to call him. I let this one fade away. I realised I made a mistake pretty quick.

    Sorry, one other point – what about SDs that live elsewhere? What should happen when we first meet? Should I go there, or request him to come here? What has worked better and to be a safe option for you?


  82. MissLondonAnon says:

    Hi there,

    See as many of you ladies are in the ‘know’ about this sort of relationship, thought I would run a few questions by yourselves!

    I am 24yo, have been on this site for a little while, but due to my studying committments have not had the time to really looking to see who is out there.

    I have had a situation before where I have met up with a guy (on a different website), we’d spend alot of time talking over email and finally met. Maybe it was my mistake but I/we never discussed what was expected (perhaps due to me being pretty clueless at the time); intimacy and allowance.

    So, now that I am back with more interest and time, I want to ensure I approach this in the correct way. I am currently in the early stages of talking to several potential SDs at the moment, and want to know more about what the best way is to address this. I know that all/most men will be expecting intimacy which I understand and am happy with. What about what they will offer us?? I don’t think I am happy about just going for meals/dates and them paying for me as this is no different to a normal relationship most of the time. I am interested in more, but this doesnt need to be a large allowance, but something relatively similar perhaps, gifts etc..

    What I want to clarify is, when is the appropriate time to address this? Should I sort of go with the follow, or should I have my expectations understood before we meet or before we become intimate? I dont consider myself to be greedy or a gold digger by any means. I wont demand anything but do expect something in return.

    Thank you!

  83. dreamer says:

    good job rosie.. Thats very well stated and i can tell you have a clear head and are focused in your life just by your words and im sure your profile portrays this as well, so you will find someone for you, you are a great girl. -for me, i lay it all out about what i want out of the arrangement, and then ask what the sd wants and then we can color in the picture together for what works.. If it doesnt all fit together, then its just not a good match.. Although, I think its strange that I know what I want sexually and I can spell it out very well 😉 but Im still clueless about what to ask for allowance.. There needs to be an allowance calculator lol.. You put in your qualities and what you are willing and not willing to do, along with your expenses and the budget range of sds you are looking for and it pop out a suggested allowance amout per person.. ? Lol. Yeah, im sure you can all tell I have too much time on my hands.

  84. Rosie,sugarbabe says:

    My reply is to seeking a SugarDaddy. I hope my reply is in the correct section, here it goes:
    I recently joined this site for a variety of reasons. The main reason is the opportunity to meet gentlemen that know how to treat a women and what a women wants. I am tired of meeting men that expect so much for giving so little. I realize what I just wrote could project many different interpretations and sound arrogant (which I’m not). Most likely if your a female and read this, I would hear many, “Amen sister!”

    When I date a man it is with the interest of a permanent relationship. Before the first date mutual consideration has occurred. On this first date, that has gone well after eating, movie, (whatever), the date changes his attitude. The attitude goes from comfortable to getting intimate, with the headline of “You owe me.” This is never said, it is implied by attitude and behavior. How (does a guy) & What (is he thinking to) go from Pre-A to Z without qualifying?? To me there is a difference between a date as a potential somebody in my life. And an arrangement. The word arrangement qualifies the time together. It is not a date and a “date” is not an arrangement.

    The date spends 30 dollars and wants sex. A $30.00 date does not equal the price of my body. “I’m priceless” :>). The purpose of a date is to see if there is something for more times together for the long term. A guy who wants to close the deal on the first date (of $30.00) does not have a long term investment in mind. Plus is cheap….cheap….cheap. I am so tired of cheap short-term investments. It’s like the dead-end email and I’m contact.

    In seeking a SugarDaddy I am looking forward to having the expectations and arrangements up front to eleveate this dual purpose hidden agenda. What I’ve shared, in my experience, seems to be the male expectation. So I was thinking: Since I haven’t met “a special male” why not make an arrangement with (one) man that would “make me an offer I can’t refuse and I him.” It’s not a date yet it’s more than a date. We could both benefit by not being lonely, sharing w/NSA, and both reaping mutual benefits.

  85. Rose M. says:

    Lisa, please send the slightly nerd or geeky guys my way. We will have tons to talk about. 🙂

  86. lisa says:

    I would like to be upfront on my profile to screen out those whom I’m not looking for but when you do that, it comes across to many people as harsh and negative so one has to deal with time wasters and logging on to find a couple emails in your box and open them only to be disappointed because one lives far away and wants you to travel to meet him or is willing to come meet you in a few months (never had a long range date to work out yet), or you get some guy who mentions in his profile that money isn’t important and his profile reads more like he is looking for a date than a sb.

    I wish I could find an arrangement with the kind of man I seen for several years. He was married (many years and secure and happy, just lacking spark in his marriage) we were great friends but I knew the limits and although I would have married him in a moment if if was possible, I knew that it wasn’t and anyway we had so many differences on things but in a nsa relationship, you can have your differences and it doesn’s matter. we never discussed politics or religion which are things that can cause problems in a serious relationship. he was the best lover I ever had, passionate but not into anything sick or degrading, always a gentleman. It wasn’t a sd relationship although as I said a month back, he did come to my rescue for october’s rent. we are still friends and keep in touch.
    I wish I could find a sd to help me financially and to whom I was attracted to and wanted to spend time with. The 4 gentlemen I have met so far since joining months ago have been nice but only one of them I found attractive, the others were cute but they just were not my type. You know the kind you wouldn’t mind being friends with (slightly nerdy or geeky) but you just can’t feel passionate about.

  87. Darn. says:


  88. Darn. says:

    Post bikini pics. Feign stupidity. Lie manipulate play games treat them like an ATM.
    Because being honest sassy and posting normal pics and wanting to talk about things of interest does not seem to be working. For me anway.
    It’s all about the physical apperance right??
    It’s like test for me.
    I have a killer bod and killer personality.
    I get the whole she has big tits so she must have no brain crap from all the guys my age
    So forgive me if I want to see if there’s actual chemistry between me an a SD first
    Oh and that shoes video?

  89. Isspyce says:

    I joined about 3 months ago, at first waited for the emails to some rolling in but that didn’t happen, got about 3, they didnt pan out…..I started browsing profiles and sent out a few emails, some responded but others didn’t was a bit discouraging, but I loved reading the blogs would come on just for that,…. There are a lot of beautiful, intelligent women on here, I feel that compared to them, I’m in the middle somewhere…I am very willing to travel and would like a once or twice a month arrangement since I don’t live in the states… I’m still hopeful…

  90. bostonTerrier says:

    i prefer to let a potential sugar daddy lead the way because it ensures what he is actually interested in me. i’ve never been one to browse the profiles and send emails to potential sds because you never know if they’re interested.

    my “seeking” ways seem to work so i won’t be making any changes to my methods any time soon.

    i try to come across as myself in my profile without being too long/descriptive. i think i say just enough to *hopefully* make someone send me the first message.

  91. blondesb says:

    I agree with you guys, I try not to limit myself, be open to other options. Once in a while a sd comes along who is able to make what I didnt think would work, work. But I do make sure they know my limits and what I feel would work best. like suthrnExec I like discretion, and am only thinking 1-2 times a month would be perfect. I have yet to find the right guy but hopefully we will come across each other soon.

    have a good day you guys.

  92. MishBocaRatonGrl says:

    I’m generally open minded, and I’d rather have a weirdo email and block him, then a good SD be turned away because I limited myself too much

  93. SuthrnExec says:

    I feel that the major constraints and boundaries of the relationship that I am looking for need to be laid out there in my profile – discretion, frequency of meeting is likely once a month for me right now, etc. – but I don’t want to be too constraining because a SB might have some ideas around the characteristics of a relationship that would work well that I haven’t thought of. I certainly don’t pretend to have exhausted all the different circumstances and situations that I might be able to be with someone. So I lay out the major issues that will limit the relationship but I leave it open enough to be flexible.

    I believe the blog is a great tool for bouncing ideas off of both SB and SDs. I think the blog is a great way to stave off discouragement.