12 years ago
Terms of Arrangement: The Set-Up


Sugar Daddy Arrangement: The Set Up

Planning Your Next Arrangement Should Draw From Times Past (and not just from yours…)

Many Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies will notice that discussing the terms of an arrangement before it begins has its pros and cons.

There are those who suggest that keeping things left to fate, chemistry, fireworks, etc., is the best and most human way to proceed with an arrangement. There are also those who insist that the most essential difference between an arrangement and normal dating is that the ‘unknowns’ are known in advance.


“Buyer beware, but nothing ventured, nothing gained; just don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched.”

No matter what side of the spectrum you may fall, we can all agree that one must always acknowledge the sacred rules of Sugar Daddy engagement:

1. Discretion must always be respected, and protected: for discreet arrangements; what goes on between SD & SB goes in the vault.

2. All parties ensure the other(s) receive their due share of mutual benefit.

3. Strings may never become attached, unless all involved agree: No guilt trips, no surprise displays of attachment, and no manipulation towards commitment (ownership) of any form.

Has anyone ever felt at odds with a potential Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby before the 1st meeting?

Would anyone consider ‘arrangement insurance’ (agreeing to SOME benefit, even if all else fails (what would that look like?)?

What makes a Sugar Daddy seem like a fake? What makes a Sugar Baby seem like an escort?

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240 Responses to “Terms of Arrangement: The Set-Up”

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  5. Jessi says:

    I’m new to all of this and what I call a “non-traditional” SB. I was wondering, what if you are not a young Barbie? Are there any SDs that appreciate a woman with a little more experience?

    Also, is there any hope for an average looking girl to find a SD that is as generous as some in the stories I’ve read on this blog?

    So far, the only positive response I received was from a man in Mass. who said he lived too far for us to meet (I live in NYC).

    I want to have faith and at the same time, it looks like my looks/personality is not suitable for this. In my mind, though, my situation is perfect for an SD who is looking to truly extend help to a good person who really wants to improve and be the best she can be, but needs a little help.

    I don’t know how to approach this, so for now, I’ll keep reading, researching and learning about this very interesting and adventurous world. Hopefully, I’ll meet someone who is truly benevolent and feels good helping others.

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  46. JustMe says:


    NitemareSD Says:

    November 19th, 2008 at 3:58 am

    Quote of the night stolen from an SB profile:

    “Someone happy to provide an allowance, not for “services rendered”, but because he has a great heart and loves the way it makes him feel, knowing he can help ease my burden. Someone who wants to wine and dine me and, would occasionally like me as his travel companion because we REALLY DO like each other… as friends, as well as lovers”

    I just happened to be reading the begining of this blog and wanted to thank NitemareSD for quoting me. I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels like this is what a true SD/SB relationship is supposed to be about.

    NitemareSD, Now that I know you’ve read my profile, may I ask if we’ve exchanged any e-mails? Would love to know what your profile says also. What’s your ID #?

  47. ApoccakacrorO says:

    Я совсем не верила в разные сверхъестественные вещи, особенно тогда, когда кто-нибудь рассказывал, что на мою судьбу наложено какое-то сильное заклинание или порча. Но всего-навсего почти месяц назад мы с моей лучшей подругой решили пойти к провидице. Меня взяли туда к гадалке просто для развлечения. Ну что же – решила я – пришел мой черед оказаться в магических руках.
    Когда все-таки мы прибыли по нужному нам адресу, она тотчас же обратилась ко мне со словами: “Ой, доченька, не жить тебе больше единого месяца на белом свете…”. Само собой разумеется, что кроме простой улыбки у меня это ничего не смогло вызвать. А старушка продолжила: “Наложили на тебя, деточка
    самое злое проклятье – душа твоя уже по правде одной ногой на той стороне… и жизненный род свой ты вообще не сможешь продолжить из-за того же…”. По правде говоря мне уже почти как 3 года назад сказали о том, что я никогда не смогу иметь детей, однако каким образом она могла это знать – ведь я скрывала это в тайне и ни кому, ни родителям, ни друзьям не рассказала о своей проблеме.
    После всего произнесенного бабушка сняла с полки какую-то странную книгу, пролистала её и неожиданно для меня совершила какой-то странный ритуал. После всего этого отвлеклась от книги и сказала, что по принятой традиции лучше бы сделать жертву. Я решила быстро прекратить эту затею и мы с подругой ушли, не доведя до конца обряд.
    Кроме этого, ничего понятного старушка не сказала – как думаете, все-таки стоит ли мне принимать это все близко к сердцу?

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  51. BlkButtafly says:

    Then everything else can be discussed over dinner/coffee/putt putt lol whatever

  52. BlkButtafly says:

    I agree with KJ. Being a SB and prone to stalkers of my own, I prefer someone out of town. Also, if you don’t want to reveal your true identity until you are absolutely sure, I think a potential SB should respect that decision. But also keep in mind that while you are trying to be discreet, SBs are trying to make sure that you are legit. I personally google my potential SDs if they give me their information. I don’t ask alot of background questions upfront b/c I hate the 20Q’s routine but I do like to know a real first name, something beyond the screen name. I believe telling someone your first name and where you are located isn’t enough info to gain a stalker but hey I could be wrong.

  53. Kj says:

    To venturaSD –

    No! A SB does not need to know your work and home location. If you are like me and have a private life that information is a no-no. The only time you should consider that is if you trust her fully. If and IF you plan to have a commited relationship with her (Long term) I suggest you do a background check on her as well.

    I made that mistake (to a degree) once and was forced to change my cell (work) number changed. But on the flip side I had a SB who was emotionally stable and secure and had no issues with her. She even reminded me of dates I needed to keep with wife and other things.

    So in short… it depends. If you are really concerned with a stalking, i suggest starting a relationship with someone who lives in a different city.

  54. Kj says:

    I am a black male, profesional and college educated. I have tried the site off and on for the past year and have had bad results. The majority of females I have come been in contact were either in college or claimed to be. Most were looking for a quick fix to financial situation they were in.

    After being bunred once I will only deal with someone i meet in person first where we are able to interview each other over a fine dinner. I have also learned to avoid women who appear/sound desperate for money and are not employed. There are many other things I look out for but I will not bore you all here.

    Safe to say there is a SD for every SB, just depends if you make the right connection and what your expectations are.

  55. venturaSD says:

    I am new on this site, never been a SD before, but very interested, have the means, and am honest about what I can afford. I would be willing to give her a gift (gift card etc..) before each our dates (coffee or dinner or potentially intimate) just so that she knows I am not a scam etc.

    But, I am very married and am not comfortable disclosing my real identity to a potential SB. Be it via cell or website or real name. Maybe after 2-3 dates, I would get comfortable.

    Just wondering how this issue of DISCREETNESS works?
    Do SB absolutely need to know your work and home locations? that seems mighty scary to me.. lol. I could get a potential stalker..

  56. Zabreena says:

    Miss T. good luck with the date. you are spot on with him making a reservation so you can check up, a good trick that. but I have a nasty suspicion from the way you worded it that there might have been some suggestin that you might have been making the reservation. If that suggestion were ever so much as hinted at by him – big red flag signal! beware.

    personally I never meet for dinner as a first date and always go for a short coffee meeting, partly cos it involves much less effort and commitment on my part – tell me about the beings stood up business! –

    have very clear rules in your head about what you want/expect from the first date and rules about what you wil and will not do at the date and stick to them!!!

  57. Miss T says:

    I actually already had a response to my profile. A potential SD would like to meet for dinner next weekend! I’m pretty excited about it. I figured it would be best for him to make the reservation so I can call the day before/day of and make sure it’s still happening. I did regular internet dating before and got stood up a lot. I don’t want to spend half the day getting ready (hair, nails, shaving, makeup etc etc) to go there for nothing! I think I’m going to wear black boots, tight black dress pants and a sexy sweater. We’re meeting with no expectations (beyond him buying dinner) then discuss how things will work from there if there’s enough chemistry at dinner.

  58. Zabreena says:

    Miss T, I chat for a while and make sure we both understand what we each want from arelationship. i flirt and press them for an answer and dont let them ask me what i wnat i insist that it is a SDs job to take the lead. I meet for coffe for about 30 to 45 minutes in sexy but well covering cloths and then wait a few days before meeting for dinner, if I decide to poroceed. for dinner I wear a very slinky low cut short deess and killer heels. we have a nice meal in a very good restaurant and then I go home. If he wants to see me again he takes me shopping, seriously good shopping before our next dinner, and after that some very sexy lingerie lands on the floor.

  59. Miss T says:

    Oh and by what I should expect I mean like where meetings usually take place, what his responsibilities are (I’m guessing he pays for everything, maybe a bonus, possibly a gift). And what is the SB generally expected to do for the SD?

  60. Miss T says:

    I’m fairly new to this whole thing. Can someone explain to me what I should expect the first time I meet a potential SD? What about on subesquent meetings?

  61. tammy says:

    i cant get a sugar daddy…….help!

  62. BlkButtafly says:

    sounds good to me! Thanx!

  63. JerseyBaby says:


    I’m sure you could possibly work that out, I mean if he had an SB before, he may be very flexible with you. See how the evening goes and after a drink or 2…maybe mention that you like stability and then ask for the allowance and maybe afterwards you could ask for shopping trips whenever you’re feeling the need!

    Good Luck!

  64. BlkButtafly says:

    hey every1! I’m sooo excited to be meeting a potential SD for drinks on Tuesday! He’s had a SB before so that’s a plus. However, his last relationship was he took care of everything when they were together and if she needed money she’d just ask. I would like an allowance though and maybe some shopping trips. But how and when do I ask???

  65. JaneyW says:

    Sugar Babies have reported some scam artists on this site who con them into spending their time and sometimes their bodies with them only to get nothing in return. Always be polite, but find a way to ask how generous a sugar daddy can be with you and if he meets your expectations find ways to screen him to make sure he’s telling you the truth. If you ever feel uneasy back away no matter how rich he claims to be. I would ask for an allowance before you become intimate with him.

  66. lolipop says:

    So how exactly does the financing of the SM work. I am a SM Virgin and I have no idea what the heck I am doing.

    Is the transaction cash, before, after, how exactly does this work?

  67. Bubbles4u2me says:

    U r right Lisa, there are fakers on this site that pretend to be rich in hopes of running a con on some weak sap. They are broke and busted. That is why the money and the gifts must come up front for me. NO ROMANCE WITHOUT FINANCE. So Ladies, Demand More Up-Front!!! Be Safe ALL!!!

  68. lisa says:

    it can be taken that way but at the same time there are men on this site that think that if they pay for dinner, that makes them a sugardaddy. Many women don’t understand the concept of this site, but just as many men don’t either. I have came across so many guys who are looking for sex and nothing more, and men who don’t have the income to be a sugardaddy

  69. Massachusetts Yankee says:

    hi all,

    to answer that question of what makes a posting of an escort or hooker. here is one such example of an escort posting in my book: “someone who will buy me a new car at our first meeting, and i will show him how pleased i am.”

    can’t get any clearer than that.

    i may be wrong, but this is my opinion.

  70. Jen says:

    Hi to everyone. I am a new sb.. I do have a disadvantage to you all.. I am plus size. I know that I just may fit into a sds ideal, but we will see.. I still need to do some work on my profile. I have learned a long time ago not to get my hopes up to high. Hope everyone had a great turkey day.. I was at work!! A very long 12 hours!!
    I am ready for someone to take care of me.

  71. Bubbles4u2me says:

    Do What Comes Natural!!! Every situation is clearly going to be different. If you want to give a gift on the first date….then do it. Eventhough, this is an arrangement, please dont loose site of the fact that the purpose of the arrangement is for mutual fun. Seize the Moment for what ever it is worth. Be Safe All!!!

  72. GothicNC says:

    Lisa asked: “..i dont understand why they dont write as much as we do ..its not as if we dont have things to do but we are seriously anxiousto meet potential sd.”

    You just answered your own question, hon. If we seem more eager and anxious for the relationship, then they have the upper hand. That’s why I stopped sending initial emails to SDs. I may have financial needs, but that doesn’t mean I have less to offer. Let them use that vaunted male “hunting and gathering”, and come to ME.

  73. JerseyBaby says:


    How long did it take you? Did he contact you or vice versa?

  74. lovelyfifi says:

    Lisa thats not fun..i hate it when they do that at the last minute why couldnt they just tell you i may not make it or something like that other than interfearing with your schedule then just cancel ugh..it gets me mad.at the moment am enjoying a potential one too been mailing each other every once in a while..i dont understand why they dont write as much as we do ..its not as if we dont have things to do but we are seriously anxiousto meet potential sd.just hung in there Lisa you have been waiting for quiet a while maybe it might turn out to be nice..my past potential one sent me pictures and i sent him one of me and asked me if i liked him which i said i did then just disappeared what a heck is wrong with some people someone tells you oh your very pretty,sexy bla bla and they just disappear on you its not right..anyhow lets keep our fingers crossed am not in a hurry and not desperate well maybe a lil but am only going to meet someone serious enough .capishe serious potential ones so no meeting till i know someone is really serious about the whole thing..

  75. BlkButtafly says:

    I’m still trying to figure that out myself girl!

  76. lisa says:


    Why is it that all the sds mention how flexible and free their time is, they make their own schedule, etc, etc but when it comes time to meet, they just can’t find the time? And they expect a sb to just be there are moment’s notice.

  77. lisa says:

    I just got an email from that potential sd cancelling for tomorrow. well at least he was courteous to let me know so I can put away the cute outfit I was going to wear. we are going to reset for my next day off. Bad thing is I cancelled on a friend for tomorrow so I could meet this guy. I have the whole day free but you know those times when everyone wants to get together at the same time. I can’t call her because I lied and told her I had to work because she would never approve of this sd stuff. Since i’m home now and already chatted with her, it would be difficult to call her and say I didin’t have to work tomorrow afterall , especially when my boss has already left work.

    Anyway so a few more days of waiting, or he though possibly about meeting next week, I hate this waiting, waiting always ends up with a disappearing sd.

    I just did my nails so I will look nice walking to the laundrymat tomorrow. 😆 so all the perverts can hollar nasty stuff out from thier cars. Oh and a trip to the bank to get my rent money (thank God and my hard work for the rent money, as no sugardaddy helped me this month.

    looks like a boring day off

  78. BlkButtafly says:

    hmmm I want to say keep hope alive but being the busy person that I am, I probably wouldn’t worry about it and just plan my day around some other activity

  79. BlkButtafly says:

    oh yea and recently I had a potential sd say I was too far. On his profile though he said he wanted someone in state. I’m only 5 hours away

  80. lisa says:

    I wouldn’t bother with that one. I have had my share of the future sds. I had one guy I was talking to before hurricane Ike hit my city and he was moving to town and we were going to meet sometime in september. well I sent him an email after the hurricane, turns out he was in Bosteon for a month and then just disapeared, I guess he much has had his furniture sent back to Colorado and cancelled his move.
    I don’t know what to do with the potential sd that I have been chatting with. He hasn’t wrote since friday and we had made plans to meet tomorrow. He has been on the site several times , including twice today. should I send him an email to see what’s up or just wait to see if I hear from him? I am off tomorrow and do not want to plan my day around some one whom I don’t know that I am going to meet yet.

  81. BlkButtafly says:

    sorry! I meant to say I received an email

  82. BlkButtafly says:

    I just received from a guy that said hey when u coming 2 see me? I said actually wondering when u were gonna come see me and he said babe it won’t be til feb or march….I don’t think imma even respond

  83. lisa says:

    I get guys wanted to talk on messenger and they want more pics. funny thing is their profiles are blank and they have not even one photo.
    We ladies have a lot of competition on this site because we do outnumber the guys and let’s face it there are more ladies that want to be spoiled than there are men who want to spoil them. In that sense there is not many legit reasons for any true sd to be on this site perpetually if he is all that he says he is. If he is handsome, rich, generous, he has his pick of hundreds on this site. I have a feeling alot of these guys are not as rich or generous as they claim to be and probably can’t find or keep a sb.

  84. lovelyfifi says:

    lisa i have to agree with you on that..some sd on here just enjoy the attention ..its crazy you think someone who is been on this website or a 5 months wouldnt find anyone..hell yes but they still come back ..they are probably players or something.try to keep hih spirits the right one will come around..what the hell is wrong with some sd’s some are asking me to send them my pictures on yahoo ..am not going to do that i told them i have enough pictures on here am not sending a stranger my picture..Lisa be positive the right one maybe around the corner hony..

  85. lisa says:

    well I’m white and i’m not having any more luck than anyone else. so I think these guys are just players.

  86. lovelyfifi says:

    hey cutipnyc

    we all happy for you..looks like my potential one disappeared just like the usual..am black too and i have my spirits high i definately know there is one good one out there for me..good luck on your sd cutipinyc and to everyone else.i have an old sd that i still see he spoils me crazy but i guess we just dont get enough of the spoiling now look at me on here looking for another..lol have fun ladies and enjoy it when you still have the hot bodies

  87. CutipiNYC says:

    Hi Jersey baby!

    to answer your question..i am a black SB that has found a wonderful SD (white) on this site. Its a bit of a challenge but there is someone for everyone. Keep your head up sweetie!

  88. blueyedsugarbaby says:

    Ms. V, took no offense at what you said, in fact, it was what I needed to hear. You’re right. I gotta take what I learned from that schmuck and not take any s**t off of anyone and keep my chin up.
    You will find what you are looking for. I have a friend of mine who had a number of SDs throughout the years (she was living in the South Pacific), who has a backside that drives men crazy, this amazing coffee and cream complexion, and is VERY open-minded sexually. She and I have done a bit of experimenting ourselves… that was a blast! She never lets prejudiced men get the better of her. Instead, she just uses her extremely outgoing, outspoken and perhaps “vulgar” ways to get whatever she wants or needs in life. She’s a total inspiration, spontaneous, a fabulous friend and one heck of a lover. Just be who you are and don’t appologize to any man who doesn’t get it.

    Thanks for your advise. I needed it.

  89. JerseyBaby says:

    and Ms V I share your appetite for the Irish.

    Definitely would love to find a suitable mate complete with a sexy accent.

  90. JerseyBaby says:

    Hi guys! New to the whole sd/sb thing and been reading the blog quite a bit today. You guys are hilarious. I’ve met a few prospective SDs and nothing has panned out as of yet. I guess with the holiday season, i’m skiddish ;-). But I think patience is the key. For the ladies who were speaking about the the ever fun “race” issue topic, as with everything in life I really do think it depends on your sense of confidence, self awareness and how comfortable you are in your skin. We all control our environment and I truly a believe a man who is as confident about what he wants as you are will find you attractive, depending of course on his tastes and your sexy factor :-).

    I’m wondering though how many black SBs (who arent the “escort type”) have found luck on this site?

  91. V says:

    Ta-Daa! Iz appeered outta nowheere 🙂
    (above) uh-unh, honey- no firecrackers on here, they’ll flirt for a bit and send u packing. Strap on your girdle and pretend ur “bout the business” and they’ll all come flocking to see those pretty blue eyes peering up at them from the floor_where ur on ur knees…giving them the business!! LOL!!! girl, I couldn’t resist! j/k
    hope you find what ur looking 4 on here. I have not.

    Perhaps I am too vulgar. hmm.

    I didn’t get gobbled up by my geek- he was an experimenter, too. Prejudice(d) family, he just wanted to know what Ms. V had in store for him. I gave it to him, too. Now that my appetite has been whet(ted) for pale skin and the other side of freaky sh*t, I am looking for a suitable companion for Vegas…yeah that was me posting about the trip coming up.

    Igot some things in mind that I know white men are more familiar with and/or willing to do. and babygirl, I am trying to get it. 😉
    any Gerard Butler’s out there? The Irish accent has me crazy lately.

    dangit Stephen…when r u going to post another fantasies blog thread? I got one that I am itching to try out…maybe if I post it, this one to- will come to life ;-)…maybe I should back off, tho…it could probably getme arrested in atleast one of the 50 states. ha!

  92. blueyedsugarbaby says:

    I had an issue with a SD who made it sound like he just wanted friendship, companionship and some intimate moments, but the further I got into the situation, the weirder it became. He became very controlling, wanted to get into S&M (not my thing), and started trying to manipulate me. When he sensed that I was getting reluctant, he would step back from his demands and respect my boundaries for a little while before he tried to press them again.
    He started getting attached, making references to loving me, then wanted to settle down and start a family with me. He kept asking me to meet his family and the whole nine yards, like we were a serious item.
    When I read the intro to this blog, it definitely struck a cord.
    It’s not that I am opposed to commited relationships, however that’s not where I am at in life. And there is a difference between a sugar daddy and a boyfriend. I can understand that there are situations where a SD/SB relationship can develop into that. For the time being, I want to share the company of a SD, so that it is a treat for us both, but without the constraints of a committed relationship. Whether that means dinner and a movie or hanging out at the ocean or an intimate moment.
    However, I let the SD know that was not my cup of tea, and for my ownreasons, I was not looking for the committed/engagement/marriage relationship.
    He eventually took me on vacation with him and when I didn’t chime in unison with him when he professed his love for me (“Sweetheart, you know how much I love you” were the exact words), he does not want to continue the relationship. It was vexing to deal with someone who refuses to accept that there are limits to a relationship. I am just thankful that this pattern of not wanting to take “NO” for an answer didn’t turn into a total nightmare.
    That being my first and currently only SD experience, I appreciated what was posted about making a SD wait to make sure that it’s not just a ‘wham-bam-thank you maam’ sort of situation. I did not make this SD wait beyond the second date and wished I had known him a little better before the relationship developed as it did.
    I do believe that it is a needed gesture for a SD to bring a gift for the SB on their first date (and I am not talking about something extravigent). I would be much more likely to go out again with a SD who does show that he intends uphold his part of the mutually beneficial agreement.
    My one big complaint: is it too much to ask that a SD simply communicate if he’s not interested in a SB instead of the whole “I’ll be in touch within the next couple days” and then ceases all communication? Speaking for myself, I have had a couple SDs do that to me, and I was frustrated with it. We had a couple of good conversations by email, and then I never hear from them again unexpectedly. I had one gentleman I was cooresponding with email me, letting me know he had reunited with his ex-girlfriend. I didn’t necissarily care if it was an excuse, I was impressed that he enough respect to let me know that he wouldn’t be emailing me again.
    I agree that if men want the whole “3 times a week for one hour each time, they should look into getting an escort. I don’t want to be valued for how great I am between the sheets ONLY. The reason SBs recieve allowances instead of an hourly wage is we are companions, not sex slaves. We intimately allow Sugar Daddies into our existance as they allow us into theirs. This is a far cry from meeting some stranger out in front of a hotel and shagging for 30 minutes or an hour. How impersonal, cold and emotionless. I think the key piece that gets forgotten somewhere along the line is respect. It needs to be on both sides of the arrangement.

    Anyway, if you are a Sugar Daddy looking for a buxom, outspoken, fire-cracker of a sugar-baby, I’m seeking an arrangement, once again.

  93. lovelyfifi says:

    hullo everyone very interesting blog so far..about the race issue please dont let it get to you.am black too and i have always been hit on by white men if he really likes you his gonna come after you.they are some sd’s that find black women very gorgeous and worth their time.i have no problem waiting for the one since am secure in my own skin,body and mind..am very beautiful,sexy and gorgeous and am a size 2 dress so what a heck if they dont know whats is good for them then dont let it get to you..am sure there are some wonderful white sd’s that will fnd you amazingly gorgeous..ok back to the topic.i just had this wonderful guy email me from my area we sent mails back and forth ..he told me his expectations and what his looking for.first thing i did is google his name and oh boy his for real .he hasnt responded to my last email and am not gonna keep pushing so i will let him come after me since he wrote the first email that means his interested .still sd shopping too just in case i find another .you guys are wonderful all dont ever let any sd whichever race get to you or insult you in any way your worth every dime you ask for.your gorgeous ,young and beautiful and they miss that int heir daily lives thats why no money is worth you all.And never ever agree to sex the first date try to play hard to get if he wants you he will play by your rules..stay beautiful,young and confident the right one will come along and sweep you off your feet..

  94. BlkButtafly says:

    eh I hate those signs. Though I have had a guy read my email and respond like 2 days later

  95. lisa says:

    he hasn’t answered the email I sent him but he has been on the site yesterday and today. not a good sign

  96. BlkButtafly says:

    I hope he turns out to be that kind for you, girl. I really hope so 🙂

  97. lisa says:

    I try to be patient and I might be meeting someone this next week, it’s still kind of iffy. Only thing is my last 2 meetings we great and involved major shopping, didn’t see them after that (their choice as they just disappeared) but at least it was worth my time to meet them and they were very nice. I worry that this will be a coffee only meeting since he can’t meet except early morning which is too early for lunch. I hate the idea of giving up sleeping in on my day off and getting all dolled up to meet some guy who might just want to meet for coffee. I could really use a little shopping or if he is time pressed, a little cash would be nice. I read all these posts on here where ladies meet guys and the guy gives them a giftcard or a few hundred dollars on the first meeting. I need this guy to be that kind of guy.

  98. BlkButtafly says:

    Yea….major turnoff!…I’m into gentlemen of all races. So I guess the best advice in this situation is just to be patient.

  99. lisa says:

    It seems that the sds on this site that are looking for a woman of a different race has some fetish they want to experiment with and are not looking to be a real sd.

  100. BlkButtafly says:

    I’m black as well. I’ve only been on this site a short amount of time so I havent had the experience of the race issue yet. Though I have had an white SD tell me he was an exhibitionist and likes to spoil black women. But he’s not something I’m interested in.

  101. dreamer says:

    ohhhh NC, lets hear your story!!!!! and sorry to leave you hanging, gail, i am in maryland for the holiday.. It was a 9 hr drive today and they do not have much phone service here so its hard to get on the ‘net.. But i will try to keep up with the blogs! i miss you allll!

  102. lisa says:

    I’m white and in real life I get hit on a lot by black men, many much younger than me. I am looking for a white sd though. Had one potential black sd but we never met, much like alot of the sds on here.

  103. SB SanFranDiddle says:

    in the end, it feels better to be sad and alone than living a lie. that kills you.

    many girls on the site aren’t the ‘type’ a typical sd looks for. they say ‘there’s always someone out there for you’ but how true is that? the cookie-cutter image of beauty is the ‘prize’ most sd’s seek. there’s nothing wrong with that, but some of us, including myself, need a reality check. brains and pazaaz count for a lot, but then again, only so much.

  104. SB SanFranDiddle says:


    you’re not alone. it’s true, and i guess i’m over trying to figure out why… is it taste? is it fear? if you’re not Halle Berry black but more like Michelle Obama black, white men aren’t that into you (i’m black and have noticed this too) so what to do? since most of the men in the US are white, and most of the SD’s on the site are white, what IS a blk girl to do (insert racist insult here “be an escort”, “be a sex ‘slave'”) but between you and me, I think it’s wise to never get involved with someone who is likely to regret being with you later because of their whiteness not being compatible with you blackness.
    I was told once by someone i fell in love with” I’m into other races” – yeah, it hurts, but I learned my lesson. From now on, i’d rather be alone than be with someone who’s just with me due to a temporary need… the heart doesn’t work that way sadly.

  105. jojo says:

    Well I cant answer that I am a black woman and it seems to me most of the men on this site only want white asian and hispanic woman. Ive been on this site and others for a while and I get no responses I am attracted to white guys but they dont want black women well maybe to use as sex experiments but that is all

  106. BlondieNYC says:

    Hey Gail! I hope your Thanksgiving is warm, fun and relaxing! Doggie is doing well. I’m off to a friend’s house.

    I just want to take the time to wish everyone a healthy, happy and relaxing holiday!

  107. NC Gentleman says:

    Heya Gail – I would have to say I am a hambone kinda guy because I am all about the bootie, followed second by legs, and lastly by breasts.

    Pantie sale!!??? I am always up for lingerie shopping…. boy do I have a lingerie shopping story from my first SB lol

    Have a great holiday. Dreamer is in MD with family.

  108. lisa says:

    I am greatful to not have to be working on Thanksgiving. I was afraid I would have to this year since my store stays open and i’m the newbie but the asst. manager is working. since he is management, he gets pay for working plus holiday pay which he wants for christmas shopping. If I would have had to work, I wouldn’t see my family because I would have gotten home too late for them to come visit plus the pay for regular workers like myself is regular, no extra and of course I get no paid holidays.
    I’m enjoying my 3 days off though.
    As far as the date next week, he hasn’t wrote back yet, I only have one day I can meet him since he is married and can’t meet after I get off from work. We will see though.

  109. racheljay says:

    Hey everyone!

    Gail- I’m doing really well, any messages iu get on here seem to be dead ends but I’m staying positive 😀

    I’m focussing on getting another part time gig so I can purchase my first appartment!(So excited)

    Thanksgiving is always big for my family, I’m heading to the Grandparent’s early tommorow after work to help out with all the fixins’

    Hope everyone enjoys their holiday and that all the sds/babies find one just before xmas hehe:)

  110. Gail says:

    LOL…Lisa you are so cute!!! I hope all goes well with you SD. Maybe you will get pennies from heaven, so you can spend them at Macy’s:) Forget the pennies…let’s say Benjamins:) Enjoy your day!

  111. lisa says:

    sale at Macy’s. darn I’m broke and I live 4 blocks from Macy’s 🙁

  112. lisa says:


    My parents and daughter are coming over. We arent’ having a big meal as I can’t afford a turkey. We will just have chicken from banquet and a couple pies I got with free coupons and coffee and soda. It is difficult because I don’t have a car and my parents (who are elderly) had to get rid of their car because it would cost too much to fix. We are all dependent on the bus which is less than reliable on holidays, plus my dad has to walk with a walker so it is very difficult for him to get around. they will come by about noon and leave about 3. Just a quiet family day. I will go with them friday to the mall but i’m broke so no shopping for me 🙁 as my rent will be due and with the water bill I now have to pay, it’s like a 20 dollar rent hike, which pretty much takes away the grocery money I had.
    the weather is nice though, feels like summer here. I got 3 days in a roll off from work, which is lucky since my store does not close on Thanksgiving.
    Hope everyone has a great THanksgiving. I heard from that guy and am trying to set up a meeting with him next week. We will see how that goes.

  113. Gail says:

    NC Gentleman-Day after Thanksgiving Sales at Macys!!!! Great specials!!! Ladies panties on Sale!!! Perhaps you would like to replace the ones that keep dropping for you…..LOL!!!

  114. Gail says:

    NC Genteleman-Oh well…you tried NC..back to the tried and true. By the way do you prefer the leg or the breast, or are you a hambone fella? Whatever sits on your plate…enjoy.:)

    Dreamer-Where are you? I hope I am not on this blog alone….:)

    Ms.V-Need you to appear. Has the Geek fella gobbled you up?

    Blondie NY-How is doggie?What are your plans for the T-day:)

    Lisa-Are you cooking this T-day? since you are not taking the 30 minute ride accross town:)

    SG2-I think NCGentleman is on holiday…only accepting SB mail for now…:)

    RawVegan SB-What did you decide to do?

    Racheljay-Phone home…need updates…whats going on?

    Thanksgiving is a time for sharing and speading happiness. I will you all SDaddies and SBabies a very Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

  115. NC Gentleman says:

    Hi Gail — I decided to stick with just SBs – those SDs are just too unreliable lol

    I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving!

  116. lisa says:

    I have came to the conclusion that alot of the sds on here are grown men who live with their mommies and are just playing games.
    Still haven’t heard from the one that seemed interested. I guess traveling 30 miles or so is too much for him.

  117. lisa says:

    well I haven’t heard back from that potential sd. We emailed back and forth and discussed what we were looking for and he has yet to answer my last email yet he has been on the site today.
    He seemed a little turned off that he would have to come to my area (about 30 miles from were he lives). What is it with these lazy sds that can’t even travel 30 miles to meet someone. I guess he expected me to take a cab to his town to meet him.

  118. dreamer says:

    lol NC.. I dont 50% with anyone.. Maybe you can get a 10% lol.

  119. Dawn says:

    RawVegan- I would listen to your instinct and just stay away from him. Just drop a little note to him saying “I don’t think you & I will work well together. However, I do wish the best of luck to you in finding what it is you’re looking for..” & if he still messages you just ignore him or block him. You shouldn’t have to push the red flags aside in the hopes of settling with a SD. The SD that will be right for you is the one where your intuition makes you feel good, not uneasy 😀

  120. Gail says:

    I would write andnicely say how you feel. This may be a potential SD, but it would take more e-mail before I wrote him off. I have found SD don’t always communicate clearly in writing. Sometimes they think things and forget to write it down in the e-mail. After a couple of e-mails, you should know where his head is at:)…LOL….

  121. RawVeganSB says:

    Hey guys I need some advice. I do feel at odds with a potential SD. So I have been chatting back and forth with an SD on here, and if I know my intuition I would say I have a bad feeling about this guy already, he is actually creeping me out (for what would appear to be no reason.

    Anyway, the problem is that I am very specific as to what I am seeking in my profile, but then this guy messaged me to say he loves my profile, and he is married and he knows he is not the man for me and that he wishes me all the best. I replied thanking him and saying we can be friends or whatever. The next email this guy send is actually telling me (not asking) that he is going to rent a villa in Jamaica to try to get to know me more. I feel very uncomfortable in even proceeding in any more emails with this guy. Already, I am thinking he is a very self-fish, possessive, control freak and it scares me, but am I overreacting?

    This guy does not have a picture on his profile, he does not even have a detailed description of the arrangement he is seeking, and has open amount-negotiable on his profile. So already everything seem like a big blur with this guy.
    Should I even entertain this guy anymore?

  122. NC Gentleman says:

    Ok first of all…. a “bromance” is a bro-bro romance — I think you get the idea. I will let you know how things work out between SG2 and I – he has made big promises but I am concerned he might be a fake because he didn’t follow through with an email like I thought he would lol Maybe we can meet at Starbucks??!!!!

    Dreamer/Gail — I get half of anything you get from my email addy…. you can decide how you want to pay me 😉

    Thanks for all the sweet comments Dreamer and Gail — I just pretend to be nice so I can as Zabreena says “get you to drop your panties.”

    I hope I made you all laugh!

  123. SouthernGent2 says:

    This should work for NC. Thanks Stephan.

  124. Anonymous says:

    Bromance, for sure. Wandering in all parts of the country, when some of the finest SouthernLadies are closer than they think.
    TEXAS TORNADO, honey pie- wouldn’t know what hit ’em 😉

  125. Anonymous says:

    and here comes the part where we all dye our hair blonde and get blue contacts. Ladies, I do believe that these are 2 fierce Gentlemen we are dealing with. 🙂

  126. BlkButtafly says:

    LOL you all are a trip!!!

  127. dreamer says:

    i love you stephan.. Youre a miracle worker haha.. do you have a sb?

  128. stephan says:


    Sorry, I left it up for a while… just make a comment here with your email addy inside the ’email’ field and i’ll swap w/NC Gentleman 🙂

  129. SouthernGent2 says:

    NC – I guess Stephan had to delete part of your post. Also, when I started to type that bro word, my computer froze up on me, seriously lol

  130. lisa says:

    Well BlondieNYC I guess you’re packing now to move to the Carribean. lol

  131. Gail says:

    Welcome Leona….there are some good SD in the US…you just have to find the needle in the haystack. I’ve no experience with the UK fellas…but don’t give up, it does takes time:)

  132. BlondieNYC says:

    Hey nigtmare, glad you loved the examples. I’ve got one more for you. Just got a first email from someone asking me to move to the Caribbean, and oh yes, no photo with the profile….oh my!

  133. Gail says:

    You are so thoughtful…and quite the business woman:) I really don’t have any extra cash right now…just paid the cable bill:) Can you believe it NC we started a small business, and you were our inspiration. (Smile)

  134. dreamer says:

    gail.. Maybe you and NC can meet sometime? i bet you would like each other! he and i have gotten to be pretty good friends.. Im sure he wouldnt mind if i start selling his email to sbs haha. Joking… Dont delete me stephan. And NC, i have always been wary of the word ‘bromance’. Doesnt sound completely kosher.. :/

  135. Leona says:

    Hi Everyone!
    I’ve been surfing around this blog for a while and it’s great:-)

    I’m based in the UK and fairly new to this. I’ve met up with two SD’s so far but to be honest both were time wasters! One wanted to take photos of me right there and then…….and the other dangled a very attractive arrangement but never actually delivered anything 🙁

    It’s so time consuming meeting these jokers. I’m starting to think that the SDs in the UK just don’t have it together aswell as the USA ones…….they just don’t seem to take the whole arrangement thing very serious…..just want to hang out with pretty girls.

    Has anyone else in the UK had any positive experiences?

    Sorry if I’ve posted this in the wrong place…….just not sure where to ask it.

    Leona xx

  136. Gail says:

    LOL…Dreamer…his e-mail address was written in invisible ink…it left the screen too soon… but I do remember it will trade you for???? LOL…..ok….I need SD candi-dates too, that way I can continue to blog at least thru Thanksgiving holiday…

    Bromance? What is that? Explain yourself NC…we don’t want to get carried away and imagine the possibilites….

  137. NC Gentleman says:

    I am thinking SouthernGent might be “bromance” material. What do you think? lol

  138. dreamer says:

    haha found yourself some love huh nc? if you guys want me to send you each others emails, just have the other sds write me and let me know haha 🙂

  139. NC Gentleman says:

    Dang — I got all excited but no emails yet lol Oh well, looks like I better send out some more emails! Thanks for the sweet comment Gail!

  140. Gail says:

    LOL…NC Gentleman… As attractive as you are the ladies here will give you more thoughts, wants, needs, and desires that you can handle. Now you’ll have mail from more than just TN…try all 50 states and more….:)

  141. NC Gentleman says:

    Hi SouthernGent — it would be great to compare notes offline. I guess I can give you my email address here – not like we are trying to set up an arrangement lol So here it goes — if they erase this email we might have to get assistance from that hot sweetie in TN 🙂

    I hope everyone had a great weekend!

  142. lisa says:

    I agree as if you meet for coffee, try to plan it around lunch or dinner time and then if there is interest, it can flow naturally into a lunch or dinner, or in my situation twice, shopping. My starbucks is surrounded by nice shops.

    I would never have anyone pick me up at my apartment the first time though.

  143. NitemareSD says:

    I loved the examples, but what is wrong with “let’s meet at Starbucks?”

    I’ve met people in all kinds of places… Airports, hotel lobby, fine restaurant, their apt., Starbucks, regular restaurant. I’ve picked up people by car at their home and driven them to restaurants.

    With a short term place like a coffee place you aren’t stuck for an extended period of time or lots of money with a disappointment. The meeting can always be extended.

  144. lisa says:

    I choose to meet at starbucks because it is close to my home so it’s strictly for safety reasons, the barristas know me there too. However there are some decent restaraunts in the area that would not require me to leave the area and be isolated with a stranger. Also it is in a shopping area so there are all kinds of possiblities there without me having to leave the safety of the crowds: starbucks to meet, on to a trendy restaraunt for lunch or dinner, and the possibility of some shopping, which has happened twice for me. After this I make my decision whether to let the man drive me home. Although I have never had a bad experience I would say that if any man was anxious to leave the shopping area and drive someone else I would refuse because there are plenty of restaraunts in the area that don’t require driving anywhere.
    I am not hard to please in the dining department as I like casual and formal. The first date for coffee, followed by lunch or dinner or shopping or a definate arrangement discussion or there will be no second date.

  145. BlondieNYC says:

    Interesting comments from everyone.

    There’s so much food for thought here. It’s interesting in that in other places on the blogs a few SDs weighed in with wanting to give a “gift” for the first meeting, as an indicator that they were serious about seeking an arrangement and not phonies.

    Now everyone has a different moral compass i.e. we all have embedded indicators that allow us to judge or decide what is right and wrong for us.
    You need to listen to that inner voice, it’s called intuition and usually it’s right. Whether you’re a male or a female if you get a warning bell inside your head about a situation, it’s best to back off.

    Now I’m sure that there are a lot of SDs who are thirsty for companionship – friendship, sharing activities and laughter – yes the companionship aspect includes sex. However, there are quite a few SD profiles that are pretty blatant “meet 3 x a week for an hour” and that type. When I view them, my first thought is,”hey get an escort.” Because I feel that they’re not looking for any type of exchange except sexual.

    And honey, if you want sex you can either go to a bar or hit an escort service. If you want to have a steady someone then you’re going have to invest a part of yourself into it, just as she would.

    My red flags have included:
    “What size bra do you wear”
    “I want to come to your house 3 times a month for an hour” (ooh, did you think I was a private gym?)
    “I WANT YOU” (that one made me laugh.Honestly, it’s first email, we haven’t even chatted and you want me? Are you desperate? Or do you think I’m stupid?)
    “How many people do you like to F** at once?” (I’m not a gymnast)
    “how quickly can we get intimate after we have coffee?”
    And the best one….drum roll please…
    “Let’s meet at Starbucks”

    I’m laughing about this. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bitter and I do not have low self esteem. If I’m going to give you my mind, my body and a part of my heart, you better be able to step up to the plate.

    Oh, and I did meet someone briefly…I think he’s delicious and am hoping to hear back.

  146. racheljay says:

    Morning everyone!

    Thank you ladies for the kind responses, it really means a lot to me.

    Number3- I appologize if my comment offended you in anyway. I am one that would be all for ONE SD except my situation doesn’t permit me to do so.

    I am sure well over half of the sd on this site are in committed relationships with their wives/gfs. Do you seriously think that as a sb, we should devote our whole selves to someone who’s already taken?

    I’ve spoken about this to my sd and wouldve respected his decision to be “exclusive” but he didn’t see a need to if he too isn’t committed to me.

    What I said wasn’t meant to sound vulgar, I was being honest as well as sarcastic.

    I’ve said before, my allowance isn’t as grande as it could be, otherwise I wouldn’t mind being committed to one, however, it isn’t, and finding another sd to help accomidate you isn’t neccessarily a bad thing.

    If you want a sb to be exclusive, then by all means there are tons out there. But do not knock me for my decision not to be exclusive at this time.
    I have a bf as well, and I protect myself and as long as I’m playing it safe, I have the will to do what I please. Thank you 🙂

    That said…

    Welcome Blkbuttafly and Globetrotter!

    Hun, don’t beat yourself up over that little incident, shit happens.

    Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and vow to make sure you are taken care of first when it comes to an arrangement along those lines.

    That guy deserves a hefty swift kick to the balls for that one!

    He’d have to really head to the bank and withdraw a mass amount of dough after I’m done with em to get his nuts put back into his sack >:D

  147. dreamer says:

    ohhhhh stab to the heart haha

  148. SouthernGent2 says:

    NC – too bad we can’t compare notes lol. And as for Tenn, I have never had luck there for whatever reason.

  149. zabreena says:

    hey globeT, take no notice of nitemareSD, he has said some pretty unpleasant stuff b4 (and he cannt even spell his own name, lol). you were naive and got a bit carried away, hardly a capitol offence and doesnt deserve being insulted. there r plenty of guys out there who will be more than delighted to meet you and will be worth your while bothering with

  150. lisa says:

    Never have sex with someone on a first meeting. Get to know them and make sure they prove they are legit. that having to go to the bank thing is a scam. If he was serious, he would have already went to the bank. Kind of reminds me of a lady I help unpack her stuff for her apartment. I got up early, went to her apartment and spent the day setting up her place (she was kind of elderly and couldn’t stand too long). The whole day she would brag about how much everything cost as I was putting it up for her (sculptors, etc) and when it came time for me to leave, she would go through her purse to pay me and say she was sorry but she only had 5 or 10 dollars to pay me. I let her get by with this twice in a years time.
    I should have made sure she paid me for the first work before taking her up on helping her move again.

  151. globetrotter says:

    NitemareSD- you don’t know anything about me or what makes me happy. I am not a bit deluded just a little naive.

  152. globetrotter says:

    NitemareSD- No, that is not what I wanted to accomplish, but I trust that you could have assumed that. I shared my story to warn others, not to be insulted.

  153. NitemareSD says:

    You’ll be happier if you don’t delude yourself.

  154. globetrotter says:

    I admit that I didn’t make the best decisions in this situation but I am disheartened that someone would take advantage of that. And I didn’t have sex for money because I didn’t receive a dime. If anyone has anything else to say that isn’t insulting, I would love to hear it.

  155. zabreena says:

    globetrotter you were to keen to get a SD. make em wait. i know its easy to get carried away with their promices but if they are any good at all they will keep coming back for more. they get nothing till you get something. my basic rule is SHOP TILL I DROP. they take me shopping or provide me with the means to go shopping, bloody good shopping mind you, and then I prop my panties, not before.

  156. NitemareSD says:

    GlobeT you had sex with a guy that disgusted you for money.

    That puts you pretty deep in hooker territory.

    What is it you really want to accomplish?

  157. BlkButtafly says:

    Anybody having luck in FL?

  158. NC Gentleman says:

    Hey SG — that is funny that you say that, because I have had trouble finding someone that I connect with in NC. I think part of it may be that I am nervous about having someone to close by, so the grass always looks better on the other side of the fence. I’ve had two SBs — one from Rhode Island and one from Nevada. The next one I am meeting is from New Jersey, but I met this really sweet young lady from TN also 🙂

    Happy hunting!

  159. globetrotter says:

    So, I just met with my second potential sugar daddy and after my first meeting, which was fantastic, I was feeling really confident about this one. We had spoken over messenger for few weeks and although the conversations were sexually charged, it seemed as though he wanted to get to know me. I did agree to be involved with him sexually during the first meeting, so this not an issue of rape or anything. But when the date was over, he said that he would offer me a portion of my allowance in cash before we parted ways. He just had to go to the bank. That was the last time I saw him and when I attempted to find out about his where abouts, he blocked my calls. What an asshole! I wasn’t just out for a one time thing, I had been talking to this guy for several weeks. I did have a gut instinct that I didn’t go with because upon meeting him in person he was sloppy and unrefined and down right disgusting And instead of declining and returning home, I went through with it. I don’t feel dirty or anything, I just feel like my time was wasted.

    Feel free to offer me advice but I just wanted to share my story.

  160. dreamer says:

    oh no, haha, im hard to offend.. In backthought, i shouldnt have had them, i got many offers that werent lady-like and i didnt understand why.. Now i get it haha. So now i have a pic, fully clothed, with a ’05 vette, lol. Might scare some away, but thats ok with me.. (Haha its not mine)

  161. SouthernGent2 says:

    Dreamer – I probably painted too broad a picture with my generalization there. Sorry if I offended.

  162. dreamer says:

    southern, i used to have a pic in my lingere 🙁 but everyone has their methods i suppose lol. I never ask anyone what they are doing that night tho, haha

  163. NitemareSD says:

    Sometimes I think 50% of the women in Charlotte are on here.

  164. BlkButtafly says:

    have any opinions on florida?

  165. SouthernGent2 says:

    NC Gent – I find that NC is one of the better states for locating potential sb’s. Not sure why. Maybe I just like it up there. I am talking to a couple of prospects up there at this time.

  166. SouthernGent2 says:

    Anonymous – Just instinct mostly. When a profile has pictures of wearing very little clothing, lingerie, etc., I usually see that as a possible warning sign. And if one of them sends me a message asking what I am doing tonight, then I take that as a sure sign. Also, there are some that use what I call a professional fake photo where she is too good to be true, and when you read the profile she mentions how she is very sexual. To me she is using a fake photo to market her services to the more upscale clientele that are on this site. Just my opinion though based on being here for a long time.

  167. Dawn says:

    Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that you are down on your luck right now Lisa 🙁

    But just in case if any SD shares their Id number just cut and paste this link http://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/detail.php?id= and add the profile # behind the = into your Internet browser address page. Should take you right to that SD’s profile so you can view it 🙂 Or if a fellow SB wants to view another specific SB’s profile use this link http://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/samedetail.php?id= and add the ID behind the =.

  168. lisa says:

    There is no way to know who saved me to favorites. the only thing I can do is do a general search by state, no way to search particular profiles without a premium membership. I can’t even afford groceries or medicine right now, let alone a membership fee. lol

  169. Dawn says:

    Oopsie, I forgot to put my name. I posted above me 😀

  170. Anonymous says:

    SouthernGent2- I know this might sound a little naive of me, but what on a girls profile would make her look like the escort type?

    Lisa- Is there anyway you can find out what the profile ID #’s are of the guys that saved you? I too have a basic account but for instance if you wanted to view some of the SA profiles that belong to the wonderful people who have posted on this blog, all they have to do is post their ID #, wink wink . Soooooooooo…….. come on everyone post your ID, it’ll be like “Profile Hunter 2008 Fest”, minus the alcohol & Marti Gras Beads….. lol. Unless of course I’m waaaayyy behind & you guys have already done this. 😀

  171. lisa says:

    I can’t view them because I don’t have a premium membership and it’s not something I can afford right now. When I was on a regular dating site, I got dozens of messages, alot even from younger guys but on this site I had early luck and have met 4 but this past couple months has been blank. And 2 of the sds that I did meet where ones in which I first emailed them. I’m hit on all the time by much younger (an unfortunately poor) men but I can’t get the attention of a 65 year old on this site.

  172. NC Gentleman says:

    Lisa — they put you on their favorites list because they would consider an arrangement with you; however, they aren’t sure that you would consider them. Most people hate rejection, so this is a subtle way to inquire. I have used it in the past, and it is a great way of finding out who truly may be interested. Send them a message if you are interested after viewing their profile. Your chances of connecting with these people is extremely high. Nonetheless, I am sure there are some that are just adding everyone to their favorites and may be looking for porn stars, etc… I am sure you are bright enough to figure those out quickly. Good Luck!

  173. SouthernGent2 says:

    I check the who viewed me and added me as a favorite sections every day. It serves as a good filter for who might be interested. But there are many that look at my profile that would never interest me, thus I don’t message them. I get way too many that are out of the age range I am looking for, or are obviously escort types, etc.

  174. lisa says:

    I have stopped sending messages and am getting 0 messages sent to me. Odd that I have had 160+ views in the past week and I am on 10 guys’ favorites lists. Why put me on your favorites and not contact me??
    I’m getting very discouraged here.

  175. BlkButtafly says:

    LOL! I am going 2 try the suggestion I read earlier about not sending a message and jus looking at their profile.

  176. dreamer says:

    youll do well buttafly.. There are many great guys on here, the trick is finding them haha

  177. BlkButtafly says:

    hey every1! I am sooo encouraged by your posts in here! I am semi-brand new to the sd/sb relationship. I say semi b/c awhile ago I had a sd and didn’t realize it lol. He was a friend of my uncle who was and still is married. Anyway he was nothing less than a sweetheart. Within a week of meeting me, he took me out to lunch, took me to get a mani and pedi, and bought me a purse and shoes by my fav designer. I wasn’t expecting any of that though! Other than that, I’m use to working hard. I’m sort of a workaholic like my dad and that quality has worked out pretty well for me. Only thing is ALL of the guys that I’ve built a relationship with have never done anything for me! I don’t ask but I mean if I was a guy who finally found a smart young lady, I’d want to do things for her just b/c she has done so well for herself in her short life span. I was just telling a friend of mine the other day that I’ve been taken out to eat NUMEROUS times. For once, I’d like something non-perishable! LOL am I askng too much? Anywho, that’s what brings me to this site.

  178. Ms. V says:

    SG2: got someone 4 u to meet, Daddy! Email me, so I can send u her pic.
    You still on with the last one- or are you back for more of this sugary poison?? lol
    anyhoo…get back to me.

  179. dreamer says:

    No.3 i think he is just implying that nsa (which is what this site is based on) also includes non-exclusitivity of sds unless mentioned in their arrangement. If thats not your thing, there are many girls who only want just one!

  180. dreamer says:

    but do you tell her where? lol. I worried about msV when she was gone so long too, but appearantly she was having a great time lol

  181. Number 3 says:

    Didn’t say I was looking for commitment. Thanks for reading my comments thoroughly! I was talking about juggling SD’s. There’s other sites for that too!

  182. bostonTerrier says:

    i always send my sister a text telling her when i go out and that i’ll text her back in ___ hours.

    it gives me peace of mind and makes me feel safe, especially for a first meeting.

  183. lisa says:

    It is also good to print out the photos they might have on their profile if possible (I don’t have a printer so I can’t) but that is a good idea too

  184. lisa says:

    I always do that. I write everything on a post it note (name, phone, any info I have and also site and user profile name, etc. I put it on my computer screen so if anything did happen they would have some idea where to look. Of course this works better when you are meeting someone who is open and freely gives out info rather than someone who gives no info, those are the ones I am suspicious of and also the ones that the name doesn’t fit the face kind of thing.

  185. dreamer says:

    we should all keep a journal in our house of when/where we are going and with who, in case anything does happen so they would know where to look

  186. bostonTerrier says:

    she probably just hasn’t posted.

    or maybe to 2k didn’t turn out to be 2k.

  187. lisa says:

    I just checked and she has not posted, I had the names confused. she was suppposed to meet him the 17th, that would be monday evening.
    Let’s hope she is just having such a great time and not had time to post.
    I wish she would let us know though as I have thought it odd that we haven’t heard back from her.

  188. dreamer says:

    should we be worried about her? i hope she didnt do anything stupid!

  189. lisa says:

    Yea where is BlueBelle? I know she posted since then but mentioned nothing of the date and the 2000K

  190. NitemareSD says:

    We never heard from BlueBelle about the two grand?

  191. lisa says:

    I agree this is a nsa sight and if you want more you should join another site, there are plenty of dating sites out there. As long as your sb is fulfilling her promises to you, you can’t complain and if you can’t stand the idea of her having more than one sd, you could always give her a big enough allowance so that she only needs one.
    We ladies are used to being one of many. Half the sds on this site are married whereas not nearly as many of the sbs are.

  192. stephan says:

    Number 3:

    If you want a committed relationship, with strings and/or love involved, please visit our sister site, SeekingMillionaire.com.

  193. Number 3 says:

    racheljay Says:

    “Well, things went pretty well at breakfast and it looks like I have another sd to add to the list hehe;)”

    While I know that these type of relationships are meant to be non-committal, nsa stuff, it’s comments like expressed above that myself (and quite a few others) can’t help but feeling played by the people we meet from here. Nothing like being one of many.

    And ladies b*tch and moan about how guys supposedly treat you!

  194. lisa says:

    I log in several times a day, in the morning before going to work, late afteroon after work and various times in the evening. I don’t like emailing sds but since I get no response and have over a hundred views, it’s discouraging. I usually get a few responses when I renew my profile, but this time, only 2 actual initial responses, neither any good, and I do log on and off several times to get my profile at top. I just turned a year older a week ago and it seem to make a big difference in my profile. What is the difference between 42 and 43 I would like to know?? I still look young, same as I did a few months ago.
    I am tired of this pauper guys bothering me where I live. 2 of them, both younger than me, low paying jobs along with child support to pay babymammas, and neither has a car, but they are interested and knocking on my door although I ignore them, but a good quality man with a little money to spoil me, it aint happening. And as far as sex, poor men don’t turn me on. nothing attractive about a man who sleeps on a mattress on the floor with ugly sheets (I was in the mantanaince guy’s apartment after the hurricane to send some quick emails since he had wireless internet and my dsl was down. He has always been friendly since I moved hear several years back but he is that way to everyone but now he keep saying he wants to see me. He has moved out of the complex luckily since the new management fired him but he still comes around here trying to see me.
    I don’t want these poor guys, I can eat mcdonalds alone.

  195. dreamer says:

    i dont email sds… Ive found out that a majority seem to like to be the one who approaches you. Just veiwing their profiles is enough to catch their attention and in general, if they are interested, they will write you.. That takes out the worrying of whether they even like you, plus saves tons of time! oh, and a tip girls (and guys) sds log in alot in the morning ive found, so if you log in two or three times in a few hours it throws your profile to the top of the most recent search. Just some tips. Now that ive told, I have to find new ones lol..

  196. lisa says:

    congrats racheljay. My luck is going south too dreamer. I can’t even get a response out of 30 emails I sent out, oh well I got a couple that are not willing to travel a couple hundred miles to meet me. Many many views 150+ members have viewed me but only 4 emails, one not looking to be a sd, the other from a forgien country sent email with lots of bad grammar, the other rejections because distance was too far.

    My hours have been cut again. I was supposed to work 32 hours this next week, now I’m down to 22. 🙁

  197. ppp1256 says:

    A question for everybody: What percentage of profiles are fake?

  198. Cookie says:

    Congrats Rachel! I love the comments in this thread, now I have a bigger picture of what to expect and what SDs expect. I’m new so I’m still screening and searching. My mother passed away last year and I’ve been trying to focus on my life without the drama from relationships. It seems regular guys don’t know what NSA hookups are, or just don’t care for them. Where have you been all my life, SA ? ( lol )


  199. dreamer says:

    thats awesome rachel! congrats on a good catch, I wish you two more luck, bc you have already had some appearently lol. My luck feels like its going south right now… I need to find a job fast, before I lose everything, the problem is finding somewhere to work.. 🙁 i wish the economy wasnt so bad!

  200. dreamer says:

    as do you… 🙂

  201. racheljay says:

    Well, things went pretty well at breakfast and it looks like I have another sd to add to the list hehe;)

    His arrangement isn’t as grande as I’d like but he’s a sweetie and he sent me home w a nice hefty gift to start things off.

    Well, ill tune in 2night, now.. Its time 2 go shoe/purse shopping!

  202. Dawn says:

    Awwwssss, no fair! I want mail 🙁

  203. SuthrnExec says:

    Dreamer, you’ve got mail…

  204. dreamer says:

    haha it is join in the fun

  205. ca/sf says:

    Wow this seems great!

  206. dreamer says:

    my gay friend is my soulmate.. Just without the mate part lol. We read each others mind and feel each others feelings.. 🙂 im trying to get him on here bc he is hotttttttt. Lol. I am in TN, btw… Same as southengent? im guessing but i think i have seen your profile. Look for sexy4you 😉 haha. Ohhhhh I love having SD friends! so even if you find your perfect SB, i would love to know you!

  207. Stephan says:


    PROFILE> BROWSE SIMILAR PROFILES – that’s a way to scope the competition 😉

    you can also see some of the gay sugar Babies, & daddies via the gay landing page: http://www.seekingarrangement.com/gaysugardaddy.php

    I don’t know how your profile is written, but honesty is the Most important thing, so it’s good that your keeping it real…

    SD’s, both gay and straight, see a lot of response compared to the Babes… Just don’t get discouraged, I’ve learned the challenge is to deepen… 😀 (and keep your eyes on the prize, stay on the straight and narrow, keep your eyes on the sparrow… ok, I’m beginning to bore myself lol)

  208. lisa says:

    I agree, in the time you can read an email, you can send a “no thanks” response. It makes me wonder who the sds on here got to be sucessful if they can’t even say no or no thanks.

  209. JaneyW says:

    Anthony, My BFF is gay and he’s the reason I’m on this site! He’s always maintained at least one or two sugar daddies at a time. He was blown away by the offers I got within the first day on my page which he practically created for me. We can’t figure out why girls get heftier allowances from the gay men, but it’s true.

    My theory is that it is do to societal factors. Gay men tend to be more open about the rules that govern when it is okay to have sex. Most of my gay friends don’t wait very long after meeting someone. However, girls are told to hold out as long as possible or else they are considered easy sluts. Also the marriage thing. Most men think that that is what a girl wants, to be settled and therefore they are willing to pay for a nsa easy arrangement. Any other ideas?

  210. Anthony says:

    Hey guys,

    I really appreciate all the blogs that I have read and like to read about people’s sd/sb experiences. I am a 24 year old gay sb in New Jersey…my profile is 100% completely honest and sincere–I am saying that in no possible way will my arrangement be based solely on sex. I am looking for more of a mentor, friendship, companion and then see what it leads to. I am eager to learn about life and becoming successful. It’s absolutely incredible how many nice emails I have sent out without a response which makes me extremely frustrated (and I’m not narcissistic but I am a good looking guy!) Anyway, my monthly membership is about to expire in a week and I am not certain I want to renew. With my little to no success rate, I feel like it’s pointless for me to renew even though I have hope. If these guys are just about the sex (which, it seems like for everyone I contact is the case), there are better, more efficient sites to get that job done. And I agree that it is very rude and a bad impression on the sd’s end with no response. I am a big boy, just TELL me if you are not interested. Just figured I’d try and get some answers on what to do here. I know it only lets me search the Sugar Daddies (gay) so I do not know my “competition” but I can imagine that the ratio from sd’s-sb’s is outnumbered.

    Hope to hear from some of you!


  211. SuthrnExec says:

    Great comments from everyone and the variety of feedback indicates how individual the SD/SB arrangement is, while at the them same time, there are common threads that run throughout.

    I certainly do all I can to put a SB at ease prior to the first meeting, but at the same time I am cautious. I will be more than happy to cover all expenses for the first meeting, including taxi fare, etc. On occasion, I have brought gift cards as well. I saw one SB and thought we hit it off pretty well. After the first meeting, we discussed the details of the arrangement and in between the first and second meetings, I started sending her allowance. At the second and third meetings, things did not progress as I had hoped and there were some things revealed that I was not totally comfortable with (nothing too major) and overall I felt the chemistry was not developing as it should. Anyway, after our third meeting I expressed that I didn’t think it was going to work out but I continued to send an allowance for another month – I suppose that speaks to the “insurance” issue that was mentioned in the opening comments. But I felt totally right by doing that and I hope she appreciated it.

  212. NC Gentleman says:

    Hi Dreamer — thanks for the sweet comment. I am meeting a potential new SB two weeks from Sunday…. we shall see what happens, and yes I am bringing a gift card! Where are you located? Always looking for more friends 🙂

  213. lisa says:

    Just got one response to all those emails I sent out. It was 2 word answer though and I’m not sure if he was saying the distance was no issue or if he was not interested. Looking through the sds for my state , most of the new ones are repeats and more are standard members with several different profiles (very similiar blank profiles with a few changes).

    I can’t understand it because in real life I get hit on all the time by younger guys but on this site I can even catch the attention of a 60 year old. Of course I don’t want the guys that hit on me as they are broke and too young. I have already dated enough broke guys and was married to one.

  214. lisa says:

    I use google too. Many people in business also have a linked In page that gives info about their education, employment, etc. I have found this for my last two boyfrriends.

  215. JaneyW says:

    LuvNLife and Lovely both raised a question about putting a dollar amount on their worth. This is a very difficult task to do and is something I’ve been pondering myself. I have a number set that I will never go below and a time frame I will not go over. I have also set boundaries for myself as to what I will and will not do. One big no no for me is sex on the first date. It is dangerous and to escortish. I really like to know that the man I am about to meet is ok with my expectations before we meet. It would be exhausting for me to meet every man who contacted me.

    As for worth, when I first entered the site, I was asking for the maximum 20k/mo and realized very quickly that this wasn’t going to happen. Girls who get between 10-20k/mo should be model quality and see there daddy at least twice a week as far as I’m concerned. I’m down to the mid-range level now of 3-5k/mo which I think is fair considering I’m tall, young, blond, and pretty. I really only ask for what I need as far as living expenses go and a little to put away for savings. Yeah, I would love to meet a super generous guy who will take away all my worries, but they are hard to find.

    My advice is to map out exactly what you are comfortable providing for a potential daddy and how much you think you are worth. Never negotiate below that sum or do anything beyond your realm of comfort. Look at the profiles of other sugar babies in your area and see what they are asking for. This is another way to measure up. Remember however that your true worth is priceless. What your sugar daddy provides for you is only a fraction of your worth because you’re not giving yourself to him fully, only a little bit of your time. xoxxoxo!

  216. dreamer says:

    i tell them they can google me.. I am on there enough lol

  217. blondesb says:

    you guys google.. me too.. I always ask them for their name and their company or someway to prove to me they are legit.. Some dont want to and i never meet those ones..

  218. dreamer says:

    i love google. The best invention since sliced bread. Haha

  219. NC Gentleman says:

    After I feel comfortable, I always provide my company website, and my full real name. I encourage the SB to google my name also — I come up a few 100 times. I am amazed at the SBs that don’t ask for that information and I have to offer it up. The good news, many are very relieved when they do the search and see I am legit…. safety is very key!

  220. Dawn says:

    I must be the black sheep in here because the majority of the potential SDs that have spoken to me have asked what type of arrangement I am looking for by the 1st or 2nd email. Lucky I guess, saves time on screening.

    Oh and bostonTerrier and I are alike. Remember kids Google can be your friend (nods head). One potential SD gave me his phone number and email. Google results came back as that info being associated both with an Escort Service and casting ad for porn videos……… I immediately responded to him and told him that if he had the intention of recruiting me for either one of these that I wasn’t the girl for him. I like to think that I avoided this possible scenario, “You want me to do what? No, I will not play naked Twister with that drunk girl while you film it……” 😉

  221. Lovely says:

    How do you determine your worth when it comes to sex? I’m not sure how to establish that $$ amount. Any suggestions??

  222. LuvNLife says:

    I’m meeting a SD next week. I know sex is what he is after. But I don’t feel the money is adequate to what I am worth. How much is too much to ask for?

  223. bostonTerrier says:

    to comment on this topic:

    a sugar daddy is definitely fake, or too cheap, if he expects to come back to your place whenever you two decide to be intimate. it’s really ridiculous how many guys actually suggest it to me … never mind that fact that i am just a college student living in a normal brownstone style dorm in boston.

    and if the sugar daddy’s that expect you to travel hours to meet them unless they’re more than willing to compensate you for your time.

    most sds i’ve talked to have had their own company website which is good since it proves they’re actually legitimate. and if there is no website, i google away and hope i don’t come up empty.

  224. NC Gentleman says:

    Hi Lovely — I think honesty is the best policy. I don’t think your arrangement is going to last. You definitely may feel guilty afterwards. I suggest you tell him something of the following…. Dear SD — I am somewhat apprehensive about entering in this arrangement with you because I am not sure we have chemistry. I am willing to give it a try and see what happens, but if I end it sooner than you may like, it is because I am not feeling the chemistry I need. Please let me know how if that is acceptable to you.

    That way, you have been completely honest with him and it his decision to proceed or not. You would have no reason to feel guilty if it didn’t work. I suspect he will appreciate your honesty, and if he is truly into you, he will give it a try. You may find out that it is good for you too. But anyways, nothing ventured nothing gained, and you definitely will learn. Just my two cents though.

  225. bostonTerrier says:

    lovely –

    you should do what you’re comfortable doing and something you won’t regret at the end of the arrangement, short term or otherwise. if you’re really not into him and the chemistry isn’t there he will probably notice and i don’t know if it’s worth using him just to get what you want.

    i think an arrangement should go both ways … including the chemistry and the desire to be in an arrangement with someone else.

  226. Lovely says:

    I have a question. I am still new to the whole SD/SB thing. Only been doing this for a little less than a month. I’ve meet a couple, but none really do it for me. There is one potential SD that is extremely interested in me, but I just don’t know if the chemistry is there on my end. I guess I was wondering if I should take this opportunity to give him what he needs and chalk this up as my first SD learning experience. I’m just not sure what to do and he seems so into me. The arrangement has been set and it is very beneficial to me, but I feel as if I might be using him until something better comes along. What do you all suggest??

  227. racheljay says:

    Welp, looks like the arrangement is set. Tommorow morning I am to have breakfast with a potential.

    We chatted on email back and forth and eventually he called me.

    At first, I ignored a few of his calls, today I decided to pick up(I was a bit “unavailable”) so we scheduled for tommorow.

    We haven’t really spoke of the actual arrangement which is new to me but I’m willing to give it a shot.

    He seems really sweet and he says he enjoyed our little chat which I made short and sweet.

    Ill report back tommorow on this little meet first theory.

  228. SouthernGent2 says:

    Have to echo comments made by NCGent. Sounds like he and I do things the same way.

  229. MishBocaRatonGrl says:

    I have felt at odds with some men on here alright, geez they sure know how to say and do the wrong things sometimes. There has been a few, well many. That raised too many red flags, before the initial meeting. I tend to gravitate more towards those interested in getting to know me, then “what size bra” I wear.

    I’ve gotten to know a couple SD’s and once they seemed inconsistent and/or like they were hiding something, I distanced myself, and just observed slightly verifying my initial thoughts of them lying , and then saying the final bye-bye.

    Phoney SD’s:
    It’s hard to define a “phony” SD because an SD is what you make it. We all set our own rules, they set their boundaries , and we all try to meet someone they fit together. Some want to wine and dine, and never pay any sort of allowance… Some want to go shopping with you. Some would like a cash transaction to take place. And some might splurge and start paying your bills. To avoid finding fake SD’s do the following.

    1. Express what you are looking for out of an arrangement.

    2. Listen to his reaction.

    3. Ask him questions.

    4. Listen, to his answers … seriously ladies, listen.

    Generally people are bound to screw up and say something inconsistent. I lay all my cards out, and check out his reaction. It’s worked fine so far. I’ve smelt some fishy men, and I kept them out at sea, no need to meet someone who’s already a concern in your eyes. Trust yourself, if it doesn’t feel right. Leave it alone.

    Being safe , and smart, is worth more then $$$ on the side. If your willing to ignore serious details, and risk something a bit more precious then a few hundred dollars.

    I have no need for a man to pay my bills, so I don’t need an SD, which is why I’m in less sticky situations.

  230. dreamer says:

    Mmmmm… You have time to come see me NC? You sound so sweet 😀

  231. NC Gentleman says:

    Hello all – I usually bring a gift card for a few hundred dollars to a first meeting, and give it to the SB, no matter with or without a spark. I also will compensate the SB for any expenses that she may encounter, like taxi, etc. I think it sets a good tone for a good arrangement. I have had two successful arrangements, and I always felt that I was providing the assistance because I wanted to, and not because I had to. At the same time, I was certain that the SB genuinely enjoyed our time together. I am married with no plans on leaving my daughter, but one thing I always want to know… would the SB see me without compensation if I was under different marital situation? The answer has to be a heart felt yes, but at the same time, I recognize the SB needs to compensated for her time and all the “extras” that go with being a married man. I have no interest in seeing an escort that would see any guy that has some money. I am thankful there are SBs.

  232. racheljay says:

    I’m a little torn between the pre-arrangement and the actual arrangement.

    Nitemare has stated in previous posts that making an agreement before meeting is a no, no.

    However, sometimes chemistry is apparent right away before meeting and that can follow through well unto the first meeting.

    And like chi stated, sending a gal home with cabfare is a very nice thing to do.

    In fact, some may copensate you for the date even if there is no spark.

    I don’t see anything wrong with either.

    Some don’t think its fair to give anything unless they know its hoing to work out. Some are ok with prearranging no matter what happens.

    Its all individual to me.

    But what should one do if its prearranged and not what either, or one party expected?

    If he brought a gift and found out at the meeting that she wasn’t what he had expected, does he keep it to himself?

    And what if she promised him a room or other meetings and upon meeting him he wasn’t what she expected either?

    I’ve had an arrangement set up before and all was good until the week of where the SD decided to finally tell me that he was noticeably handicapped.

    If it were stated previously, I wouldn’t have minded, but if he kept that from me, what else was he hiding?

  233. Ms. V says:


    so, what on earth is wrong with pajamas and discussion? pretending you’re not ridiculously aroused for hours? why is no one excited about getting excited, anymore?? BACK AWAY FROM THE STARBUCKS, PEOPLE!
    my my my.

    so, no discussions of active creation or playing a game or 2 of rummikub or chess???

    no slow sex with the windows open and lights off?
    moonlight is so delicious.

    no chance to steal a touch of skin…just to see my reaction to you?

    this is so frigid. never have had much luck finding fire online, though.

    tata sugar fam.
    Veronica is on a mission.

  234. cbaby says:

    oh, and to comment on the subject of compensation at first meeting, i would say that getting ready to meet an sd takes s good bit of effort getting ready and getting to you sometimes, so if you do think she’s a nice girl, but maybe even not for you, it would be nice to give her a nice cab fare home. that’s just me, i feel that’s gentlemanly.

    however, rude escort-like behavior warrants nothing. if she’s not giving you her time or attention, cut your losses and move on!!!

    and if you decide on an agreement, it make the girl feel more confident in the arrangement if you provide her with something to help out at the time…it’s likely she just may go spend on stuff for your next date! 😉

    okay, now really…hot cocoaaa!

  235. cbaby says:

    im agreed as to what everyone here has already said. ..just gonna add my 2 cents!

    so yayyyyy for me (!!!!!!), think i have found the sd of my dreams. i’ve been navigating this for a while now- setups, lies, false advertising and whatnot, and what i’ve now realized is that if you’re upfront, and pay attention (!!!) to the details as you get to know a potential, you can eventually find exactly what you’re looking for. i made my profile as specific as i could be (down to that i won’t sleep with you without and hiv test!) and after too many dead ends to count, months to be honest, it finally all just fell into place!

    my problem has been that as much as im a very naughty, sexual person, i can’t just meet once, make an arrangement, and then sleep together the next date…i know some can do that, that’s just not me. i’ve found the most amazing sd who wants to be a friend first, lover second…we talk for hours and text jokes to each other when work sucks…and as much as we both eventually want the physical aspect, we both agree the buildup is going to be part of the fun.

    he wants my TIME, my ATTENTION, my AFFECTION, NOTTT my BODY. that’s the key. he was the one who said, okay if you bring your info i’ll start helping you out financially so you can take time out for yourself from work. he was very generous, and never made me feel needy. he wanteddd to spoil me, i didn’t have to demand a sum. ugh im on cloud nineeee!

    now this is only pertaining to what i was looking for, sort of a boyfriend-girlfriend real relationship together, but outside of our time together, we have no attachments or jealousies. i have no time or desire for a legit boyfriend, especially with the slim pickins in the college area…..and now look….woohoo perfectionnnn!

    first date was limo to a wonderful yummy restaurant, flowers and all….i felt like i was in a movie

    bottom line for both sides, if you want quality, treat the other that way. if you send one line emails like ‘hey baby wanna hookup tomorrow $$$’ wellp…those are the girls you’re gonna get!

    my advice for anyone new to setups is to FOLLOW YOUR GUT….if he seems cheap, he probably is cheap, if you think he’s lying, he probably is, if he seems creepy, don’t meet with him. corny as it is, when it feels right, it feels right 🙂

    okay im all done dolls, off to make hot chocolate and giggle with delight! 🙂

  236. NitemareSD says:

    Quote of the night stolen from an SB profile:

    “Someone happy to provide an allowance, not for “services rendered”, but because he has a great heart and loves the way it makes him feel, knowing he can help ease my burden. Someone who wants to wine and dine me and, would occasionally like me as his travel companion because we REALLY DO like each other… as friends, as well as lovers”

  237. samantha says:

    hmmmmm no, i dont think a gift should be offered or accepted on the first date. I couldnt accept one anyway. The first meeting is to see if there is a spark, a connection of both minds and physical. I know if I was a SD I wouldnt want a potential SB to ask me how much I was going ot pay her so she could pay her dogsitter, babysitter..etc. All the men ive emailed have at least been polite enough to say thanks but no thanks, excepting one, and all the men who have mailed me if I didnt have any interest I wrote them a nice thanks but no thank email. I try to be courteous as possible. Thats just me though

  238. NitemareSD says:

    I feel at odds with SBs before the first meeting most of the time. Thus there is no first meeting. Only a small percentage of SBs & SDs are matches for each other. Like everything in human relationships.

    I usually have a good imagination, but I can’t think of a single thing related to “insurance.”

    To me the line of escort is crossed when there is an expectation of compensation for time. Anyone who expects a commitment of money/gift for a first meeting. Transactional arrangements – per meeting $.

    There are the escort red flag lines like:

    “Can you compensate me for time off from work?”

    “Are you willing to make it worth my while?”

    “I need to pay my dog sitter, so let me know how much.”

    “My time is valuable.”

    “I’m not comin’ for nothin’.”

    Whenever the giving is taken out of the realm of voluntary generousity based upon feelings/relationship I put it into the escort class. Note that does not preclude regular monthly allowances which are agreed and based upon the SDs desire to provide for the SB.

  239. NitemareSD says:

    An arrangement can also be between 2 (or 3* :O ) people who genuinely enjoy each others company where the SD provides financial support and/or gifts to the SB based upon his feelings of generousity that come out of the relationship.

    Then you know for sure you’re not a hooker.

    * there are a decent number of ‘me and my girlfriend’ package offers in SB land. 😮

  240. lisa says:

    I think an arrangement is an exchange of companionship by a younger woman to a man who provides financial assistance or spoiling in exchange.
    On a first meeting the woman is doing her part by making herself available to the gentleman and he should in return off something in return even if he decides not to pursue the relationship furthur. On the other hand if the woman is not interested in the man and it’s her idea not to enter an arrangement, then it isn’t necessary for the man to offer any gift.

    I believe in nsa but it seems many sds don’t want their sbs seeing anyone else even though they themselves might be married. If you want excusliveness, both need to be, not just one.

    A fake sb of course is one who offers sex for money on the first meeting. A fake sd is anyman who lies about what he has to offer or one that is cheap or simply some guy who wandered onto the wrong site and is only looking for a dinner date.

    On another note I have tried to expand my search to include guys out of my state but it seems no one is willing to travel to meet me. It seems like half the sds I read about on the blog travel to meet the sb however it seems no one that I make contact with is willing to travel to meet, even though their profile is filled with how much they like to travel???
    I would think that any sd that traveled alot wouldn’t mind flying to meet a potential sd, possibly when he was traveling in the area.

    I am also surprised at the rudeness of the sds on this site. I have met alot of rich people in my life and have found that truly cultured, wealthy people have tact and class at all times. They even show courtesy and tolerance to those opposite of them because it would not do well for their breeding and image to be rude. They are used to dealing with difficult people in their business and have learned to be tactful in order to maintain a favorable reputation. I have sent out over 30 very nice emails to sds in which I left a personalized message to all (no copy and paste) and my return rate is 0%. What happened to just being courteous and saying ‘thank you but….”?

    There seem to be alot of fake sds in my state. So many of the guys are looking for some sexual favor or are into something weired and don’t sound like they are looking to spend quality time with a lady. There are other websites if they want to live out their fetishes. lol