12 years ago
Sugar Dating: Compromise

12 years ago
Sugar Dating: Compromise

SUGAR in the Middle

We all have certain expectations from a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby, but many here have learned that being flexible (within reasonable limit) is a natural part of a mutually beneficial relationship.


“I know it eliminates a lot of possible contacts when you set a certain amount, but at the same time I think it makes it more difficult to express your expectations when you leave it open. ‘Amount Negotiable’ could mean several thousand dollars (unrealistic unless you are super young and hot) or for some super cheap men who don’t understand the site, they might think buying dinner is sufficient.”

We’ve discussed the topic of ‘Amount Negotiable’ vs. ‘Dollar-Range’ expectations on a previous post (click HERE to view).

Have you debated listing an ‘Amount Negotiable’ VS ‘Dollar Range’ expectation?

What kinds of compromises are you most likely to make? Least likely?

Do you prefer to negotiate an arrangement online, or offline?

Leave a Reply

302 Responses to “Sugar Dating: Compromise”

  1. AndrewBoldman says:

    Great post! Just wanted to let you know you have a new subscriber- me!

  2. Granberg says:

    Nice post. There’s a similar topic thats related to this in Yahoo answers or Google groups, I think. I’ll find the link and post it back here.

  3. Faldyn says:

    I agree with you 99% but wonder if you have really looked at the whole picture. DOn’t mean to be critical just food for thought.

  4. Sweet Choclate says:

    Hey Everyone. I just wanted to say that I have been on that site for almost 2 years. And what really makes me angry is because they look at the age. Im 47 don’t look it all all don’t feel and I am a very fun persona to be with. I work with my children and I have a another part time job as a caretaker. I don’t know if that is why? Maybe because my income isn’t large enough? Not sure but it feels like Im not even getting a chance. So I thought this maybe can help me with my search. Im on that site take a look at my profile, Im interested more in Vanillas but Im flexible. My screen name there is Jemmecat1. If any potientials are out there get back with me.


  5. dcp511 says:

    To the point and an excellent article.

  6. fussball bundesliga says:

    Gute Arbeit hier! Gute Inhalte.

  7. sex toys says:

    Is there a place on this blog that talks about adult toys? Sorry if I am posting wrong but I am looking for some help in finding a vibrator for my wife.

  8. ValisaHunter says:

    Well, these are interesting thoughts. I think they are true. However, everything is relative and ambiguous to my mind.

  9. Searching For A Free Dating Site In Europe says:

    Hi Guru, what made you want to write on Sugar Daddy Dating: Compromise? I was wondering, because I have been thinking about this since last Tuesday.

  10. flowerpush says:

    Amount negotiable is kind of iffy to me because in order for that to work there has to be mutual trust that only comes with time. I’ve realized in relationships like this the initial trust level is very very low, (something I really dislike about sugar relationships.) Usually both parties are a little bitter and jaded because of past experiences. Some men think that amount negotiable means that they can take you out to dinner a few times and get your nails done and you will have sex with them. UHM no. Well at least that’s not what I’m looking for. I set my allowance amount at $3,000 a month and I will visit or see my SD at least 3 times a month. I think that is fair.

  11. BlondieNYC*233868 says:

    Ben in any relationship chemistry is EXTREMELY important. If you can’t get along with someone why bother?
    To me, there seems to be two types of SDS on this site – men who assume that we’re professionals and men who are looking for an arrangement. Judging from my emails, sadly it appears that there are more of the former than the latter.

  12. Gordon says:

    At the beginning of an arrangement I have a business meeting with a potential sb in a business like setting. Hopefully both parties are comfortable enough to openly discuss allowances, gifts, time expectations and any concerns.

    My preference is to provide enough base monthly allowance that my sb can feel secure and make her monthly budget. Gifts are just that, from my heart and unexpected, I am generous with gifts but that is not part of the arrangement. When I see my sb making an extra effort in the relationship, maintain her beauty to a high degree and give me more time, I give a generous bonus. I do expect my sb to make extra effort and I do expect to give bonuses.

    As the relationship continues we have a short monthly business meetings away from candlelight. We then discuss the arrangement and any issues in non-emotional discussion, adjustments can be made. At no other time is the arrangement mentioned, we are two lovers in a relationship.

  13. Ben says:

    This is always an interesting topic – amt negotiable vs. fixed $$. I’ve found that the best SB relationships I’ve had have been where the amount is negotiable. I think this is a good topic to bring up early – and neither party should feel shy about it. You meet on this site for an arrangement that may vary from one day getting married, to a long term fixed allowance based SB/SD relationship. As one SB said to me in an email recently that this type of thing really isn’t about “I’ll give you X if you give me Y,” but is more about the dynamics of the personalities involved and whether there is chemistry. I had a potential SB recently say she was ready to “play” for an hour if I wanted to give her $250 before we’d met. Hmm – seems a lot like something else of a different name.

    The women I’ve met are of course looking for men who can help out a bit – so my advice is to just ask. I think many women are vague because they are new to this – not because they are trying to con anybody. Some need thousands per month – others are really just trying to find a guy that has the means to pay for things like gifts and a little bit of travel.

    In general I think there are 2 types of SBs – those who “require” a fixed monthly allowance as maybe they’ve done this sort of thing before and those that are new and are usually just looking for some financial support, but place a lot of importance on the quality and chemistry of the person they choose as a SD.

  14. Uk Dating Relationship No Credit Card Required says:

    Whatz up Guru, I fell blessed that I found your post while searching for uk dating relationship no credit card required. I agree with you on the subject Sugar Daddy Dating: Compromise. I was just thinking about this matter last Wednesday.

  15. OCSugarBaby says:

    Hey Mike- I think that from an SB’s perspective I never want to ask you” what is your monthly budget for this type of arrangement.” I would expect you to state what your intentions are in this regard and work from there. If you are willing to provide a monthly allowance (which is always appreciated) or willing to break it up between gifts, allowance and travel. Each SB has his or her own arrangement needs. But, I find it very uncomfortable to bring up allowance or a specific dollar amount. I would first need to find out if we had chemistry then the conversation of the arrangement would happen. Hopefully you would start the conversation and not make it into a stark cold business negotiation. It should be so much more than the $$$. Mutual spoiling and adoration!

  16. mike says:

    Hey all, fairly new and saw the topic of “amount negotiable” as one thing I am having trouble with. In my mind who I am, who the woman is , what we are both looking for and the time involved for those are the key issues, oh yeah, whether we get along would be “fairly” key as well, lol. Ok, so where is the chart that I find that tells what the amount should be? Of course kidding here, but seriously, the women in my area at least are very vague on what they really want. Do they want rent paid, shopping, a million a week what?

    Also, lately I have noticed, and maybe its because college is on break, that the fakes and scammers are out a little more in force. Anyone else having this prob.

    Thanks and my best to all.


  17. Mina says:

    Sam –
    Profiles that are brief and too the point are great, I don’t like when they’re vague or short without giving any sort of information or idea as to what the SD is looking for. Perhaps they are trying to be mysterious and want to leave something to the imagination but phrases like “just looking for fun” and “whatever happens happens” are to broad and slightly confusing.

  18. blondiebabynyc says:

    you and me both!!

  19. lisa says:

    He forgot to leave his email link. anyway I got a nasty email back telling me that I was on the wrong website. So I got 2 responses, one local pevert and unlike everyone else, he didn’t offer me any money, so I guess I’m not worth anything. 🙁 the second man sounded like a gentleman but was only in town for a few days and is leaving town today so I guess he was looking for a last minute date. I prefer having a couple days to plan a date before just coming home after a hard day and finding some guy wanting to meet right away. so I’m back to an empty maibox

  20. BlondieNYC says:

    Lisa, please, please, please send him a picture of your daughter’s cat. Please!!!!!

  21. Spanish Vixen says:

    on a completely different note, I think my northern man that wants to fly me up to him has a VERY good chance of being my permanent SD. We’ve talked every day for a few days, on the phone for hours, IMing late at night when I’m home…he seems like a good prospect. He said he’ll take care of me and take me on shopping trips…so we’ll see if he’s full of it or not! I head up to him on the 15th. I kind of wish it was this week 🙁

  22. Spanish Vixen says:

    lisa, you make me laugh. I just got an e-mail from a guy offering me a $7,000 a month allowance for me to show up on a moments notice and do whatever he wants. Sorry, but no. I do actually have priorities in my life. Not a slave!

  23. lisa says:

    Of the first sd just wrote back, wants sexy pics and a closeup of you know what. He called it a kitty so I guess I could actually send him a photo of my daughter’s cat. lol

  24. sweetredhead269443 says:

    Sam…..That is exactly how I feel. I do not like to have the money handled in person. I do not like to even discuss the money aspect in person. To me the money is a business arrangement. Being together and enjoying each others company I like to keep separate.

  25. lisa says:

    I just got 2 emails in my inbox! I feel like one of the girls now cause one guy wants to have sex with me, yikes. this is a guy who talked to me months ago but I guess just doesn’t remember me.

    the second is kinda old and wants to meet for dinner. I might consider him but how do I handle the fact that I can’t just drive to a restaraunt to meet him, I have lost many potential dates in the past because I dont’ have a car. Also I would like talk to him first and get to know him before meeting.

  26. lisa says:

    Good evening everyone. Just got in from a busy day at work.

  27. A. says:

    SteamyWeenie – lol, I love your name.

    First of all he said he had been looking for someone exactly like me for quite some time. He said I was beautiful and he is willing to give a very generous allowance plus expensive gifts, fun dates and shopping expeditions. His profile has a budget listed and I have to say it is a big budget!! WooHoo! Now, I’m just hoping that this guy is for real and emails me back

    I have an update. I did hear back from him and we have talked almost all day. He is super sweet and wants to meet me tomorrow! My first meeting with anyone from the site. I’m keeping my fingers crossed!

  28. BlondieNYC says:

    Sam known as Sig known as the answer man- check your email.

    Happy Monday all! I’m working away, and just wanted to pop in and say, “howdy dammit!!”

  29. Sam (formerly Sig) says:

    Southern Exec and Serious SD, you have great profiles.

    So, SD, what would be the structure and information contained in an ideal SB profile for you?

    SB, if you look at SD profiles, what is missing from them that you would like to see?

  30. SouthernGent2 says:

    As Sam Sig says, it is best to handle things in other ways than cash in an envelope. Paypal worked for me, and I know there are several here that go that route. Once comfortable with someone, there is never a reason to discuss the financial part of the deal.

  31. Jenniferbbwsb says:

    Good afternoon to everyone.

    I have been very busy with work. Just now got a chance to get updated. I sure have missed a lot.

    I can’t really add anything to the discussion here.

    Gail.. glad to see that you made it down the mountain.

  32. kitylainy says:

    Thanx Bettie: I’m not bummed out at all, sure I feel a little cheap, but then I’ve got 4 other Sd potentials I am talking to. And I’ve got several more dates lined up.

  33. Gail says:

    Sam-I like your way of thinking. And also your profile. What a life you must have:)

    dreamer-You have mail:) oh…again…2nd message sent…LOL

    Kitty-I’ve been there before too…you live, learn, it will be better next time around.

    Morning Suthrn Exec and NYGent:) Nice to wake up with the both of you here…LOL

    Lisa-I quit counting and looking:)

  34. gurlnextdoor says:

    I agree Abby, although it may seem easier to negotiate online (given you don’t have to see the person’s face) it is still better to do so offline. Well my trip to Boston got postponed because I decided to wait to go once I was back at college and away from my parents. But I’m still excited…good luck to all of you sugars out there.

  35. DCBrownSugar says:

    Afternoon all!

  36. SteamyWeenie says:

    sorry to disappoint u guys but Sam and I already have this love connection between us locked and loaded… we’re in love 🙂

    and Bettie is right.. its a HUGE year for opportunities guys. a positive mind can change the world.

    im feeling extra positive too boo!!!! 😀

  37. Spanish Vixen says:

    Thanks for the compliments! 🙂 It’s appreciated. Suppose I’ll leave my profile alone for now.

    I got an e-mail from a guy today that seemed like he would be interesting, but made me super uncomfortable over IM. asking me personal questions, requesting xxx pics. And within like 2 mins of the conversation was offering me 7k monthly to be his sb. I dropped him. Gave me a wierd feeling.

    SD’s, how quick are you to make an offering to a lady?

    I’ve found that if it’s right off the bat, the SD is shady :\

  38. NC Gentleman says:

    Positive is good Bettie 🙂

  39. Abby says:

    Definitely negotiate offline, able to read his body language and exercise yours 😉

  40. BettieGirlDD says:

    Morning, sugars! i’m feeling especially positive this morning.
    Kitty dont be bummed out.. ive done exactly the same thing.. you want to trust and not haggle but then you get a lil disapointed. I defenately had a good time on said occasion so next time im just going to ask for more. or with the next SD make sure I hear a number I like first. I’d rather feel a bit shrewd than be passive and disapointed.

  41. Gail says:

    Morning Everyone:)

  42. SuthrnExec says:

    Good morning all!

    Spanish Vixen, I really like your profile – you come across as being an intelligent, mature lady – very nice!

  43. NC Gentleman says:

    Good morning all — goofing off at work a bit, as usual 🙂

  44. kittylainy says:

    Sam (Formeral Sig): I love your business investment viewpoint of the arrangement. It gives a lot more meaning and depth than just physical appeareance and lavishness. It seems to go beyond an arrangment, and into a self actualization process for both parties. I definately admire that. So best of luck to you and your SB

    Bettie: I MISS YOU MY DEAR! I might come to Buffalo on the 16th weekend for some shopping, will you be around?

    Mina/Summer: Celebrity SDs… I’m jealous, but I am sure it is a lot more complex and holds a lot more stress than a typical sd/sb relationship. Not sure if I can handle that. But that would be very sexy~

    Spanish: aww you’re adorable, I love your first paragraph, very captivating.

    Lisa: here’s a stat for you, I have had 407 views of my profile and only about 80 e-mails (come from the same person several times) so if you want to play the numbers game, it’s pretty depressing. So I rarely look at that. Keep your eyes on the positive my dear.

  45. lisa says:

    good morning everyone. A nasty cold day here today. I just checked my profile, no emails 🙁 I am very confused though as it shows I have had 3 more views since last night however there is only 1 new guy on the my list, do they count each person who views your profile twice or thrice? or is it because they viewed you multiple times?
    I have to be headed out to work soon. gotta work the next 4 days all day, would much rather sleep in on a such nasty day.
    have a great day everyone

  46. dreamer says:

    i love lily allen. Shes my hero 🙂 congrats gail.. Email me.. Nc- You too!

  47. Sam (formerly Sig) says:

    I prefer to handle the money through a bank wire. Among other things it keeps the money out of the actual meeting. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel tacky passing over an envelope with a cheque or bank notes in them; just doesn’t feel the same as a gift.

    So far I have sent a token payment a week before any face to face meeting but well after a fair amount of email dialog. In two cases it turned out I sent the payment well before the face to face, since my schedule broke our originally scheduled meeting. Kind of sincerity measure, so far I haven’t been taken advantage of.

    I am less familiar in the US, but overseas in both Europe and Asia I know many men who are SD and have mistresses who are models and actresses. Those seem to be the most popular vocations for mistresses, though it usually doesn’t do much for me. I have gone on trips with a few acquaintances and their mistresses with my (former) SB and, well this may sound bad, but any of my previous SBs (even excluding the one that had a technical PhD) could kick their intellectual a$$es. So they may be exceptionally attractive, and some of them really are, but they seem to me to be quite boring.

  48. Spanish Vixen says:

    good night lisa!!

  49. Mina says:

    BlkButtafly –
    Neither of them lived in my city, or even my state! One was my father’s client (I had met him on a few occasions, it turned into something more after several months and with my father’s permission) the other I met while he was playing against my home team. Nearly every weekend he flew me to whatever team/city he was playing, and because we were photographed a lot together he made sure I always looked like a Perfect 10. 😉

  50. lisa says:

    good night everyone.

  51. gurlnextdoor says:

    yeah I saw pictures of her kissing him on some website…go Lilly Allen!!!

  52. Spanish Vixen says:

    Sam, your profile worked for me. Very nice pictures!!!

    I put up a new picture in my profile. I really need to get with my photographer and take some more pictures that show off more of my body…but I’m not flaunting. I’m trying to think if I should rewrite my profile or not, yet. Hummm. 281654

  53. kittylainy says:

    Evening dear sugars….
    I have missed a lot today but is much too lazy to catch right now. Had 2nd SD date with SD”T” and a first with SD”V” had a lot of fun with both but generally more comfortable with SD”T” anywho I brought up the topic of $$$ several times both subtly and not. At the end, he gave me 200 as a “gift” which kind of made me feel cheap. Because a SD should just want to take care of you instead of an obligation. And the fact that I kept pushing it, that was definately not smart.so the lesson learned is to tale things slow and let the things just… Flow.. Don’t get undressed too fast, so you don’t have to worry about being “used” and yes, just let it f.l.o.w.

    That’s my 2 cents of the day…

  54. SuthrnExec says:

    Sam (the blogger formerly known as Sig) do you have your profile hidden by any chance? That would prevent people from viewing it.

  55. BlkButtafly says:

    Where are you located, Mina? You seem to have led the ideal life when it comes to these types of relationships. Pretty cool! 🙂

  56. BlkButtafly says:

    Hey Sam….It works. I just tried it. Nice pictures!

  57. BettieGirlDD says:

    Ohh, Blondie yeah I saw that. It’s annoying but nothing you should take personally.

  58. lisa says:

    i’m confused, it seems like everytime one person views my profile, 2 views are added? did the guy view it twice?

  59. DCBrownSugar says:

    Hmm…female celebs that I’d say are SBs:

    1. CASSIE
    2. KELLY ROWLAND (umm she loves London lol)

  60. Atlantian says:

    BlkButtafly, I think I read that Lily Allen is actually in a SD/SB relationship right now. I mean, she has money, but she’s dating a much older man worth a lot of money.

    But I’m sure there’s much more than that.

  61. Sam (formerly Sig) says:

    I think my number is 267369, but when I try it myself it does not work. So I am unsure.

  62. Sam (formerly Sig) says:

    I prefer SBs that have an independent business of some kind. It makes the financial arrangements and taxes easier, and it can usually be related to the business arrangement (recall my arrangements involve a common project.) This also can help with the explanation of the origins of the financial windfall, but only to a degree. When an SB put down the money for a new construction condo in a fashionable section of the city, well, it did raise eyebrows given her primarily non-profit business orientation, but she was not shy of discussing the arrangement with her friends and family (though not my identity — they think her benefactor was a political or entertainment celebrity that requires anonymity). This works given that in her culture a “sponsor” is not as unusual as it is here.

  63. Summer says:

    I’m not usually the kiss-and-tell type, but since you asked…:)

    I had a 2 1/2 year relationship with a famous man (not giving any hints as to his identity, sorry!). We did not meet online; we met thru mutual friends. The chemistry and attraction was intense right away! Although he is married with children and very high-profile, we fell into a steamy hot affair and he made me his mistress.

    Seems like nothing could keep us apart – regardless of the risks, the pressures of his work, the distance (we lived 1500 miles apart!), and his constant travel – we made it work simply because we couldn’t live without seeing each other!!!

    I never asked him for money, but he insisted on taking care of me financially so that I could quit my FT job and be available to him when needed. That was terrifying for me! My job may not pay much, but it *is* my career, and I’m not about to give my dreams up for anybody. So we worked out a compromise where I kept my job but lowered my hours to PT, which allowed us more time together.

    My allowance was in the $5-10k range: $5000 cash on the 1st of each month, the rest was travel expenses and gifts. Our relationship ended when his wife found out and threatened to sue him, expose him publicly, take the children, and basically make his life a living hell. Divorce being out of the question, we had to end our affair, painful as it was for both of us to call it quits.

    We still talk and miss each other a lot, but will probably never see each other again. It’s just too risky, his wife watches him like a hawk now!
    He was the closest thing I’ve ever found to true love in the SD/Sb dating world…the type of arrangement we all dream of, where money is just icing on the cake because you’re such a great match!

    When it ended I thought I would try this site, and have been lucky enough to meet two gents who turned into long term arrangements here. My last one just ended due to the faltering economy, so after several months of having an inactive profile, I’m back in action and finally available again!!!!

    My profile # is 98206. Proof positive that plenty of ladies in their 30s can do quite well here on SA!!! Just be patient, ladies, don’t compromise your value, and hold your head high. You’ve got LOTS to offer, and sooner or later, the right guy will find you.

  64. SteamyWeenie says:

    anderson cooper. (i’d def bend over for him once he gets rid of his current 20’s somethin “boyfriend”)
    who else would have these relationships?



    john mccain?

  65. DCBrownSugar says:

    The odds of a real celebrity have a SD/SB relationship….pretty good actually, trust.

    I mean really it might not be such an “arrangement” but think about it, celebs are busy, they want an attractive mate, and they have no problem making sure that mate is taken care of. With their lifestyle, it’s easier to be with someone who is okay with their demanding schedules.

  66. BlkButtafly says:

    yea i agree about the not looking online thing….but still it was a thought

  67. Mina says:

    Two of my exes were “celebrities”… One is a professional athlete, the other is royalty… Looking back, they were definitely SDs! It’s a matter of not only having the means, but wanting to share your wealth with someone who appreciates it.

  68. lisa says:

    hi I’m back, oooh if I could have a celebrity sd, it would be Billiejoe armstrong from greenday. I just love him, I have a stack of teenage magazines and pictures of him in my kitchen drawer.

  69. Spanish Vixen says:

    Oooh. I have a few in mind that I would totally bend over for!!!!

    I’m sure there are several out there. But I don’t think they would be much up to looking online 🙁

  70. BlkButtafly says:

    Hey quick random and probably off the wall question…..what do you think are the odds of a real celebrity (actor/athlete/music artist) having a SD/SB relationship???

  71. BlkButtafly says:

    Good for you Spanish Vixen! Safety first!

  72. Spanish Vixen says:

    It would be nice.

    I have, however, received several e-mails from potential SD’s over the past few days. Had to weed out a few creep-o’s (I had someone tell me they wanted to get me preg. Excuse me but WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!), but I am fairly content with the people I’m chatting with. I’ll let you all know how it goes. Looks like I WILL be going to Baltimore, but will probably bring a friend with me (he’s offering to fly someone up for my safety…so I might as well).

  73. SuthrnExec says:

    Welcome SteamyWeenie!

    BlondieNYC and other SBs, I really don’t think you get those sort of “propositioning” emails based on your profile. I think it has to be something from the SD side of things. Perhaps many of the legit SDs have been away from the site over the last 3 weeks and next week will begin being different.

  74. SteamyWeenie says:

    BUT, I will have found one today… : D

  75. SteamyWeenie says:

    oh, well thank u Lisa… : )

    im online on this glorious sunday day in Miami and in search of some money… what brings u here today?

    I have to say, my pictures are not clear, one is really close up and another im dressed in AlX from head to toe with some big glasses n a girl as arm candy. I looked at other MALE sugar babies and they’re like ALL shirtless, and look like Jason Lewis having a orgasm. jeez.

    I have the individuality thing going on. I am literally EVERYWHERE once I get started and im so ethusiastic and energetic n fun and loving when im in a great mood… im a great hot guy and I get complimented all the time.. I might not have found a SD due to ‘sex object’ phobias…. ya feel me?

  76. Spanish Vixen says:

    I know. Want to just join me on the street corner, Lisa? seems that’s all these men think we’re good for 😉

    Ah, I’m not pesimistic.

    Enjoy your bath :D. I’m about to go play the “perfect daughter” role at a dinner party :\

  77. lisa says:

    gee with offers like these, we don’t need to be on this site. lol

    I’m gonna go take a hot bath and give my computer a little rest. later

  78. Spanish Vixen says:

    @lisa: eeeeek! Def stay away from them…keep some pepper spray on you!

    I got hit on AT a redlight the other day. Like, 4 guys in a car. I was blaring hip hop music (I get off of work at 2am…I love the music and need to keep myself awake long enough to get home) and one of them got out and came to my car, told me I was hot and awesome, and invited me to go smoke with them. I politely declined as I don’t like weed anymore.

    None-the-less….it was an experience….o.O

  79. lisa says:

    welcome SteamyWeenie, gotta love the username, lol

  80. SteamyWeenie says:

    so… my first comment.

    I met ONE guy from this site. turned out he was a FANTASTIC guy, super cute, funny, succesful. flew me out to see him we had a nice weekend… location issues…

    have not met another since. my profile said 3-5.. I honestly didnt actually expect that but this year I will.

    plenty of xxx pics are requested off the bat. they’re never sent by me. I disregard those messages.

    to me if something succesful is going to come from the encounter there should be no DEMANDS made from either party..

    ( ive had guys demand pictures as if they’re holding a casting for a galliano show… “entertaining offers” )

    don’t be scum, guys!

    get to know one another. if theres a vibe there everything should be smooth sailing.

    know your territory.

  81. lisa says:

    He probably wanted it in 30 minutes or less or it’s free, lol

  82. lisa says:

    If I want someone with now car, that lives in my apartments, and makes little money, I can ask myself out on a date , lol

  83. lisa says:

    I like to do that online but in person I just avoid them, you don’t want to make them mad, they might pull a gun on you. In my neighborhood they don’t understand that just because a woman is walking down the street and is not looking for company, that doesn’t make her conceited or a snob, it just means she has self respect and doesn’t care to catch a disease. yikes. Now I have to hide out where I live because there are 3 guys bothering me here, a maintanance guy who used to live here but got fired when the new owners took over,he keeps coming in the store where I work and interupting my work, then there is a guy who lives here (he has no car, and works retail and has several babymommas, and now one of the new maintanance guys is too friendly. I wish I could transfer this interest in me over to some of the sds on this site.

  84. BlondieNYC says:

    like last night, when the bozo told me that he wanted me to come to his apartment asap, I googled escort services, gave him the number and told what he wanted was an in-call. They’d help him.

  85. BlondieNYC says:

    Good one Lisa! Blk Buttafly, I know there are idiots out there, and I love to put them down. I get a perverse sense of joy with each snappy comeback…lol!

  86. lisa says:

    BlkButtafly, that’s called multitasking, lol

  87. BlondieNYC says:

    Lisa, you have flair! Work it 🙂

  88. lisa says:

    I was waiting to cross the street many years ago and some guy was stopped at the light and it was obvious he was busy doing something. lol
    his hands were not on the wheel.

  89. BlkButtafly says:

    Man that’s creepy, Blondie….like if you were “working”, you would actually be walking your dog!

  90. lisa says:

    funny thing is these incidents happened when I was coming home or going to work and had my ugly work uniform on, nothing revealing about it.
    funny thing when I was in Paris, my mom and I decided to walk down the street near the Moulin Rouge , Pigally, and one of our tour members told us to be careful. we walked around and checked out the shops (not the naughty ones, just the regular ones) and no one bothered us but in my city I get disrespected just walking down my street. Actually I got alot of glances from men when I was in Paris (good looking men) but unfortunatly mom was with me, darn. lol alot of people there thought I was a local (I got asked for directions by tourists, lol) or that I was from England because I tend to be a little European in my dress when I travel.

  91. BlondieNYC says:

    I was once walking my dog near my home and this idiot drives by, stops his car and asks me how much. I look at him and tell him to go home and masturbate.

  92. SweetEuropean says:

    I’ve had the same thing happen to me here! Nice is full of prostitutes at night so any woman walking alone once it’s dark is immediatly assumed to be a prostitute, I actually had a prostitute try and start a fight with me once when I was waiting for a bus at night because she thought I was stealing her place, I was so scared I ran away hahahaha

  93. lisa says:

    wow that;s about 7500 in us dollars isn’t it? well it isnt’ nice but think how you would feel if you had to deal with the men in my neighborhood that follow you when you are walking downt the street or at the busstop and ask “how mush for your *****) or offer you 10 dollars. keep in mind these are ugly day labor illegal aliens , really gross.

  94. SweetEuropean says:

    I had somebody offer me 5000 euro’s for 24 hours once when I was 17 😐 Some men are just creeps!

  95. lisa says:

    question does anyone know why sometimes it shows your profile has been viewed again but when you check to see who viewed you, its the same people, did the same person view you again or what?

  96. lisa says:

    at least you dont get solicited at the busstop like I do, some ugly guy wanting to pay me 10 dollars for *****

  97. lisa says:

    I don’t even get those kinda offers.
    I seriously won’t be renewing my premium membership, I think I will take the money and try another site next month

  98. BlondieNYC says:

    If you go up a bit on this blog, you’ll see what happened to me last night. I don’t get very many emails from pot sds…funny, because the ladies here, Stephen and a couple of SDs here said I was “hawt” lol! Thing is, when I do get an email, it’s like..come over and f*( me now, and how much. Yeesh.

  99. BettieGirlDD says:

    Exactly.. I have a girlfriend with a small PR firm so I just plan to say I’ve been doing press writing for her.

    Blondie who says youre a pro?

  100. BlondieNYC says:

    Hey all! I’m going to take a nap, long day Boy did I miss a lot of stuff today, gee whilikers!!

    Can someone please, please, please explain to me why the SDs here think I’m a pro???

  101. OCSugarBaby says:

    Explaining my newfound wealth to my friends? They know that I have a hobby/mini business. They are some of my best customers! When I put my mind and effort into it, it can be very rewarding. I have taken my love for vintage Gucci Purses and taken it to a whole nother level. I get such a high out of doing it and love it when I can turn a profit of 100% or more. So, my friends and family would never question it.

  102. BlkButtafly says:

    as always I greatly appreciate (as well as the other SBs) a sincere SD’s viewpoint 😉 (no pun intended)…thanx, sincereSD. Personally, since I’ve never had a SD/SB relationship, it gives me an outlook on what a REAL SD should be like.

  103. Mina says:

    SincereSD –
    Explaining my “newfound wealth” to my friends/family has never been an issue as my parents provide me with an allowance and a credit card linked to one of their accounts. (My SDs allowance is a supplement) And if anyone asks where I got my new purse or shoes from, I simply tell them that Fendi & Gucci are having a sale (It’s the truth after all 🙂
    However, my luxurious high rise apartment took a little more craftiness on my end. The apartment is in my name, and the rent has been paid in full by my SD. Because it has two bedrooms, I told my parents that it is a girl friend’s apartment and I’m just renting one room from her at a very fair price. My friends, on the other hand, just assume my parents got me the apartment so don’t ask any questions.
    I don’t encounter many problems from my arrangement.

  104. Dallas ("D") says:

    I have “Amount Negotiable” but I’ll be changing it to 3-5 shortly. I do not require a lavish lifestyle but I would be comfortable & happy with 3-4 😀

    I know my profile may be long. But hey, I wanted to lay everything out there so that way a pot SD at least can get a great view of my personality :D. I took one of my pics down (lol) & have a photo shoot with my friend next week who is going to shoot some awesome photos of me!

    Towards the end of this month an unexpected personal event has come up. I will be needing to travel to Mexico & will be staying there for a few weeks. So since I won’t be avaliable in about a month, I’ll probably just hide my profile. When I return I’ll give my profile a nice little make over with some awesome pictures 😀

    Profile # 255662. I hope you take a look Sam (Sig). I would love to take a look at yours 😀

    Best Wishes Everyone!

  105. sinceresd says:

    Here’s my feedback on this blog topic.

    Have you debated listing an ‘Amount Negotiable’ VS ‘Dollar Range’ expectation?
    – I go back and forth on this one. Having a range on your profile does help to narrow down the prospective list of ladies you will be talking to. However, each situation tends to be unique and the expectations listed do not take into consideration (no pun intended) items such gifts, trips, etc. or even the time spent together. I should add that the expectations/budget ranges listed are far too broad

    What kinds of compromises are you most likely to make? Least likely?
    – I’m fairly flexible on most of the items of the relationship like time, budget, schedule, etc. I will not compromise on the following: rushing into a relationship; chemistry; minimum number of monthly dates; seeing someone who is living with their spouse/BF; exclusivity from an SD perspective; total discretion (I hate sneaking around).

    Do you prefer to negotiate an arrangement online, or offline?
    – I prefer to discuss the arrangement in person although if pressed I will provide a guideline of what I have done in previous relationships. Each arrangement tends to be different and the discussion needs to be interactive and work for both parties.

  106. BlkButtafly says:

    however I’m very good at being discreet so it wouldn’t be too hard. My friends know my main job and side jobs but they don’t know how much I make. Also, neither my friends nor my parents know how much is in my savings 😉

  107. lisa says:

    that;s what that extra closet is for, I hide anything I don’t want my family to see behind the boxes in my extra closet.

  108. lisa says:

    I would just tell them I got a new credit card. lol

  109. Spanish Vixen says:

    I have an easy excuse. I do a lot of freelance web design and development. Maybe I just finally start getting some serious work ;). My parents know I do it, so it would not come as a surprise to start seeing my income from it.

    As for gifts…that’s a little harder to explain

  110. BlkButtafly says:

    you know sinceresd that is something I have been wondering also. How do I explain the newfound “wealth”? My best guy friend knows of this side of my life but my girls would probably flip!

  111. lisa says:

    I personally would prefer cash as I don’t trust anyone with my bank account. I would prefer in advance and either weekly, biweekly, monthly would all be suitable.
    no problem explaining my newfound wealth because I am really good at hiding stuff when my parents visit and my friends are aware that I am on this site.

  112. sinceresd says:

    Some other questions that prospective SD/SB may want to think about are:

    what is the frequency of allowance you would like to see?
    – I normally provide the allowance once a month (in advance) and typically in the third week of the month to as a lot of expenses are due at the end of the month. At the beginning of a relationship, I typically provide the allowance every 2 weeks in advance.

    what form would you like to see the allowance?
    – Personally, I find it awkward to be handling large amounts of cash so I find ways to break it up and make this more manageable. I have expenses such as daycare, cable, cell phone, credit card, car lease, etc. setup on direct withdraw from one of my personal accounts but I understand that is not for everyone and there has to be a certain amount of trust between the parties. The more involved the allowance scheme, the more complicated the breakup process.

    is the amount of allowance firm or flexible?
    – I used to be very flexible with the allowance but found that worked to my disadvantage. I had an ungrateful SB accuse me of being cheap and unable to “support” her lifestyle; a simple check of my bank account showed that I had given her more than double what she had asked for, not including items charged on credit cards. Now my allowance are set amounts that we agree upon. If the relationship is good, I am very happy to very generous.

    other questions to think about
    – how do you handle allowances at the end of a relationship?
    – if it’s not a set amount, what guidelines do you use?
    – how do you explain your newfound “wealth” to your friends?

  113. lisa says:

    hotdog and bun?? sorry my mind’s in the gutter

  114. OCSugarBaby says:

    ooooh I would be the Exotic Jelly all sweet and a little Tart! 🙂

  115. Spanish Vixen says:

    plug and socket? lol

  116. BlkButtafly says:

    LOL @ Sam!!!

  117. Sam (formerly Sig) says:

    The lid can’t contain the pot when the pot boils over.

    The pot takes the heat, the lid stays cool to the touch.

    The pot holds the goodies, the lid covers and protects them.

    Access is controlled by the lid, quantity and quality by the pot.

    Do any of those help assign roles? 😉 Maybe we should go to fork and knife, or peanut butter and jelly, or other duals.

  118. lisa says:

    I am dying of boredom over here. got the house cleaned, called family, now stuck in.

  119. Spanish Vixen says:

    I’ve been keeping up with this all afternoon and it’s so entertaining! Thank you all!!!!

  120. Gail says:

    OC-One way or another…you two will have a choice of being a pot or a lid:) (LOL, sorry had to put in my 2 cents) Gotta really run now….LOL!!!

  121. BettieGirlDD says:

    Wow you guys have me lost this afternoon.. dots.. mystery people.. lids and pots..
    I was just coming on to say that the figures are in from NASA and provocative phonepic has outperformed the black&white glamour pic as the #1 spot in my profile.

  122. SuthrnExec says:

    Only if we are in the same room… :d

  123. OCSugarBaby says:

    Thanks Babe! lol I think SuthernExec and I should not be allowed to blog together… lol

  124. DCBrownSugar says:

    Hello all!

    I hope you all had a sugary sweet Christmas and New Year.

    So my SB New Year Resolution is to find an SD that deserves me!

    That said, I chose not to pursue anything with the not-so-classy SD but he ended up being a very good networking contact so all is not lost.

    On a side note…go Ravens!

  125. SuthrnExec says:

    I think smart is pretty damn sexy myself – but SDs that are not confident will not think so, but hang in there SBs! There are those of us who LOVE IT!

  126. chocolatevenus says:

    SweetE do you think they will release it in Europe?

  127. SweetEuropean says:

    CV- I saw that earlier, I don’t think the book has been released yet but i’d love to read it once it has, it looks very interesting! 🙂

  128. OCSugarBaby says:

    SuthurnExec- You know what I meant… Each SD or SB will find the right chemistry combination.

    Alittleshy- Yes, I DO think smart is sexy! 😉

  129. chocolatevenus says:

    SE..that is great…find out what you are first!

    BTW has anyone had chance to look at the SA Book..i saw the ad on the blog page.

  130. SuthrnExec says:

    Regarding the “lid for ever pot” colloquialism – i suppose it’s fine to use that when you are still seeking, but once you’ve found a SB/SD, I don’t know that I like the thought of trying to figure out who’s the lid and who’s the pot – neither are very flattering and they certainly don’t conjure of images of my SB! 😉

  131. alittleshy says:

    Thanks too OCSugarbaby, there’s a definite lid for every pot as you say…don’t you think smart is sexy?? I sure do. And it’s not the power aspect that these older SDs are running companies, it’s the “smart” and “strategic thinking” aspect that I find particularly intriguing and irresistably attractive. One of the perks of maturity…your mind expands and the possibilities are endless, with the right SD!

  132. SweetEuropean says:

    Sam – I’d heard about Arrangements and Sugar daddies and was curious to know more, when I did a google search this site came up and after reading all the information on the home page I decided to sign up and see what happened.

  133. lisa says:

    this pot is till topless over here, lol

  134. alittleshy says:

    NC Gent…thanks for the compliment! Is your jean dilemma the girl version of “do these pants make my **** look fat?! LOL

  135. Spanish Vixen says:

    Hi suthrnexec!

    I feel like I’m doing nothing with my day…and I blame it all on you 😉

  136. OCSugarBaby says:

    SweetEuro-I loved that movie (Priceless). I however needed the subtitles!

    Gail-Duchess and I are wonderful! My vacation is coming to an end. Back to work tomorrow. I am looking forward to a mini vacation in January! This has been the best holiday ever. I am still riding that cloud! 😉

    I loved Alittleshy’s comments on about older SB’s. Spot on, spot on! I know that my age, life experiences and education bring a fun and exciting perspective to the relationship. You are right, there is a LID for every pot.

  137. BlkButtafly says:

    I wanna see him! I wanna see him! :-)….hope your SB meetings are met with success, Sam….Hi SuthrnExec!

  138. SuthrnExec says:

    Good day everyone!

  139. BlkButtafly says:

    HAHAHA @ Gail running!

  140. Sam (formerly Sig) says:

    OC, I answered your questions but it was held in moderation so it’s pretty far up in the chain. I just noticed today.

    Few more SB meetings this month… I’m curious how people find this site and why they try it? I found it through a web advertisement and joined out of curiosity more than intent. Though I have had SB-like arrangements before, I was skeptical it would work over the Internet. So far, however, it has offered several intriguing candidates…

  141. OCSugarBaby says:

    Ladies, it is our wonderful friend Stephan! 😉

  142. SweetEuropean says:


  143. Gail says:

    Smile:) Gotta run 🙂

  144. BlkButtafly says:

    i would guess Stephan but he’s not an SD is he??

  145. Gail says:

    LOL….I don’t know his profile number….

  146. Gail says:

    he makes it all happen…LOL…

  147. BlkButtafly says:

    what???? grrrrr….I’m sorry but can i buy a number? like a profile number LOLOL

  148. lisa says:

    nitemareSd, anonymous?

  149. Gail says:

    Naw…LOL…okay heres another clue…you know when he’s there…….LOL….until….LOL…

  150. Spanish Vixen says:

    Sorry had to run out for a bit and restock the makeup inventory in my bathroom.

    @Cuti: I’m from Kennesaw, Georgia.

    There are very few times I don’t like being female. Today was one of them when I realized how much my makeup costs and how little I have in my wallet. Oh the woe’s…

  151. BlkButtafly says:

    @ Gail…Pantherbot??

  152. Gail says:

    OK…ladies…I am sure he will come to you…LOL…

    So back to the topic:

    Have you debated listing an ‘Amount Negotiable’ VS ‘Dollar Range’ expectation?

    I am flexible:) I find that as long as I am able to work and pay my bills that all the extra fun things we do are worth it. Of course I would never turn down cash negotiated or in a dollar range…LOL

    Do you prefer to negotiate an arrangement online, or offline?

    I would only like to negotiate it one time. It gives me a uncomfortalbe feeling when I have to ask for it…I like to feel and touch the love…LOL…

  153. SweetEuropean says:

    Mmm I could do with a glass of wine right about now CV! 🙂

  154. lisa says:

    now i’ve got the caffeine and tilex buzz going on. gotta get my apartment cleaned up

  155. chocolatevenus says:

    Coffee! Nah i am ready for my nightcap it is 6.30pm over here!

    SE do you fancy a glass of wine?? lol

  156. Gail says:

    BlkButtafly…I wish I was in Florida again…I was in the Keys about 4 years ago…I have great memories…I love the warm ocean water…the water is too cold here in CA.

    OC-How are you and Duchess this morning?

  157. lisa says:

    sorry my mind is blank, I breathed in too much tilex, lol

  158. BlkButtafly says:

    🙁 i’m baffled….gonna have to go back and skim….hmmmm

  159. SweetEuropean says:

    Ooops, i’m sorry cre8tor!

    Dot…is that a clue? Hmm…

  160. Gail says:

    Lisa…take a guess….LOL…

  161. Gail says:

    Cre8tor is a SB…LOL…think…down to the dot…lol…

  162. SweetEuropean says:

    Hmm, well that leaves sig and cre8tor (he’s an SD right?)….am I missing anyone?

  163. Gail says:

    oops…I forgot Sig….ok…heres a better clue…LOL….who do we turn to when we are all frustrated…and have issues ….who knows us all about us down to the dot…LOL….

  164. BlkButtafly says:

    hmmm Gail I don’t know who that leaves….Sig?…..I live in Florida, Cuti

  165. Gail says:

    Morning OC, LIsa, SweetEuropean….

    Keep guessing SweetEuropean…there are only about (4) regular fellas on the blog…LOL…I would tell…but I don’t know if he wants anyone to know… okay so its not Suthurn Exec…its not Bootielicious NC Gent…its not Southern Gent… LOL…not SG2…..LOL…..

  166. SweetEuropean says:

    OC – I’ve been watching the movie you were talking about, Priceless. I’m about half way through now and it’s so good! It’s also set where I live! I recognised the train station here in Nice and the Carlton hotel in Cannes 🙂
    ….I can’t wait to watch the rest and see what happens 🙂

  167. lisa says:

    it’s a warm 75 degrees in Houston

  168. CutipiNYC says:

    where are you from buttafly and vixen?

  169. Gail says:

    sugar and cream too? Cutipi…is it time to ask for a annual raise? LOL….

  170. SweetEuropean says:

    Who is it Gail?!

  171. CutipiNYC says:

    i wish it was warm here Gail..im freezing right now inside my apartment..lol
    a lovely 36 degrees!

  172. OCSugarBaby says:

    Good Morning Gail! 🙂

  173. lisa says:

    Gail I’ve already had an ice coffee and a caramel latte, i’m in caffeine overload right now, on a housecleaning streak. lol
    It’ s a great springlike day here, gloomy but warm, I had to turn on the airconditioning

  174. CutipiNYC says:

    coffee sounds great gail!

  175. Gail says:

    coffee anyone?…or is everyone having lunch already?

  176. Gail says:

    Good Morning Everyone:)

    NC bootielicious:) What a way to wake up in the morning…LOL…
    I finally made it back down the mountain…it’s nice to be in warm weather again!

    Now back to real life:) I see there are alot of new SBs…WELCOME everyone!!!

    I tried to post and somehow my messages got lost in the snow? (smile)
    so all my individual lively comments melted away….

    So did anyone here figure who on this blog is the Obama SD look-a-like? LOL!!!

  177. lisa says:

    good morning.

  178. CutipiNYC says:

    i am lovely..thanks for asking!

    this is a very interesting topic i must say :O)

    I dont have any amount listed on my page..but living in NYC is pretty expensive as you know..i wouldnt ask for less than the 1-3k range..but i expect higher on the scale.

    my current SD gives me 2k a month..but lemme tell ya it really doesnt go that far to be honest..lol. (rent alone is 1200 and i dont live in Manhattan) but he does take me to nice restaurants every week and if im really in need he will give me a few hundred extra

  179. BlkButtafly says:

    hey cutipi! How’s nyc today?

  180. Spanish Vixen says:

    Good morning Cuti!

  181. chocolatevenus says:

    Hi Cuti how are you?

  182. CutipiNYC says:

    good morning everyone!

  183. SweetEuropean says:

    LOL I beleive that’s what they call manipulating people NC!

  184. Spanish Vixen says:

    SweetEuro — Oh la la!

    NC — I am indeed in Kennesaw. This bar is in Marietta, though. I work in east cobb.

  185. chocolatevenus says:

    Lucky you SE!

    Oh i do hate when i cant see picture..i am such a visual girl..lol!


  186. BlkButtafly says:

    Hey NC! Yep everything is well so far…..though the search for a REAL SD continues….as it does for many others. How are things with you?

  187. NC Gentleman says:

    I give SweetEuro a big allowance to influence her judgement 🙂 (jokingly)

    Thanks and I just love it when I put someone in such an awkward position that they have no choice but to compliment me!

  188. SweetEuropean says:

    Haha NC!

    SpanishVixen – He seems to have a perfectly formed derriere! LOL

  189. NC Gentleman says:

    Spanish Vixen — are you in Kennesaw? One of my biggest clients is there… this economy is really creating a lot of change for people— hang in there!

  190. Spanish Vixen says:

    @NC — thanks! I hope to be a bit more active than I’ve been 🙂 nice to meet you too bootylicious boy!

  191. Spanish Vixen says:

    NC — I eagerly await it!

    In the meantime, I’m not sure what to do with myself. The bar I frequent is undergoing a change in liquor licence, which means they’re not serving liquor at the moment. 🙁 I mean I work at a bar…but this is my drinking bar we’re talking about. I suddenly find myself feeling mildly homeless and alone….lol

    I suppose it’s a workout day then :). Gotta work off the martini’s from last night 😀

  192. NC Gentleman says:

    Heya Buttafly — good to see you! I hope all is going well with you.

    Nice to meet you Spanish Vixen, and welcome to the blog!

  193. BlkButtafly says:

    LOL @ NC

  194. NC Gentleman says:

    You have mail SweetEuropean — judge for yourself lol

    SpanishVixen — we can let SweetEuro report back to the group — it is a homework assignment for her!

  195. SweetEuropean says:

    Are you bootylicious NC? 🙂

  196. Spanish Vixen says:

    NC Gentleman — I’d like to see a picture of that bootie 😉

  197. NC Gentleman says:

    Hello all!

    Welcome back Sweetredhead — we missed you!

    Welcome to the group alittleshy — looked at your profile and way to keep yourself fit and looking good!

    BlondieNYC — sweet move on the escort referral!

    Dreamer — hang in there – you will find a great match for you 🙂

    ok — heading out to the sporting goods store — need to buy some new jeans – for some reason, my bootie always makes my jeans look big lol

    Be good or good at it!

  198. lisa says:

    O.K. I’m trying something. Looking through the men who viewed me but didn’t leave me a message, I am leaving a short note to those I have something in common with, sign, hometown, etc. It will probably net me 0 responses but it never hurts to be friendly.

  199. lisa says:

    one sd on here many months back wanted to come to my city and spend all day and night with me at my apartment and part of the next day and he wanted to do this every week and only was willing to offer 500 allowance. there is no way I am going to spend that much time with a guy whom obviously was just looking to lay around my apartment for 2 days at a time for that meager amount. If I am going to spend extended time with a sd, I want to be wined and dined and go places, not just have nonstop sex, I’m not a machine, I’m looking for someone who respects me

  200. lisa says:

    my last comment is awaiiting moderation. I agree that it would be good to have a few months rent and bills put back but I can’t even get a coffee date in the past months. of course I am running over with too much coffee this morning.

    for me the more often a sd would want to get together, the more I would expect. If a sd only offered 500 a month in which some have, I would see them only once or twice a month, and no 2-day visits or anything like that without it involved lotsa fun and spoiling.

  201. chocolatevenus says:

    Lisa, even if i was married to a man i would have to be earning my own money, even if it was doing a part time job or temping! I could not allow myself to be 100% dependent on any man! It is most likely the main reason I have never been married! LOL

    But I do think a SD could make it easier to have that flexibility eg paying your rent for 3 months in advance, bills etc! I think if he wants you he will be willing to make those situations easier for you.

    Anyway I will get back onto topic x

  202. lisa says:

    I am open to almost any arrangement. I currently have a married lover (he’s not a sd unfortunatly) and is more like a part time boyfriend. we have been together almost 4 years but it isn’t going to go past the occasional passionate encounter. In some ways I would prefer a married sd because it sets a natural limit on things. But a single one would be great also since I now work days instead of evenings, I have evenings free again. I would prefer a local sd cause I think if the sd had to travel to meet that would cut into the financial benefits if he had to spend money on planefare. A part time one would be fine, actually prefered as I am not looking to spend more than a day a week or maybe a couple evenings with someone since I do have a life too.

  203. alittleshy says:

    CV – P.S. thanks for the compliment on my profile! I appreciate it! And if the color of your skin is holding them back, they aren’t right for you anyway.

  204. alittleshy says:

    I agree, Lisa, the local SDs are the best…logistically easier for everyone involved. Are you open to having part-time SDs, or SDs who are married and want an NSA arrangement? Or whatever other specific situations you feel comfortable with, I would put out there. I too have been disappointed with the number of “active” members who haven’t bothered to sign back in since last year (!!!). What is up with that?

    I have found the local SDs can be choosier as they don’t have to worry about airfare and other extras in this economy (let’s face it, even our SDs have to watch their bottom line). Plus, a lot of locals, IMHO, are more apt to try to get the one night stand, or in-call, just because it’s convenient.

    They just don’t get it. Hang in there, Dreamer, I’m sure you will find someone local if you think creatively. There are quality men out there but they can be as elusive as quality women, I believe, and require higher standards in their SB.

    But from what I’ve read here on the blog, there are lots of you!!

  205. lisa says:

    I don’t think anyone should give up the security of their job or risk their independence for a sd. Some sds are looking for a livein which to me would be risky if they decided to break it off with you. I prefer to have my own place, it isnt’ fancy and it’s in a very bad area but it’s mine and no one can throw me out at moment’s notice

  206. chocolatevenus says:

    Hi ya Alittleshy, loved your profile, like you classy but well put together. Not too much, not too little.

    I dont have any children, and though that would be a positive in the eyes of SD, especially those who want a travel companion. The only thing i would worry about is giving up my job, but that would be ok, while I was financially compensated (eg my allowance covered my wage and extra).

    I am begining to realise that being in the UK and maybe my colour are the things holding me back!

    Well that is their loss!! LOL ! I will keep on playing the lottery I feel i have as much chance of winner the lottery as getting a quality SD x

    CV x

  207. lisa says:

    I spent some time checking out all the sds in my city and was surprised to find there are only 307 in a city as large as mine, and only 35 are premium in which a percentage of them haven’t been online in months. I guess they pay for several months cause they are still listed premium even when they haven’t been online in several months. I think that SA should delete the profiles of the standard sds that haven’t been online in over a year, it gives a false count of the active members. but 35 premium members in Houston is just disappointing. Of the over 300 views I have recieved, only a few are from my state.

  208. dreamer says:

    I think you are lucky to have SDs lacally… I would love to have one close by, but all the pSDs ive talked to have always been atleast one state away.. Im not complaining lol.. But something close would be nice.. 🙂

  209. lisa says:

    I would love to be able to travel too but have a daughter who is almost 18 that stays with grandma down the street. It would be difficult to explain if I just disappeared for a few days. and I work about 32 hours a week and can take days off from time to time but i’m new there and it would be difficult to take too much tiime off. If the sugardaddy compensated me enough, I could afford it as I live quite cheaply.

  210. alittleshy51 says:

    Sure CV…and thanks for the compliment! I’m glad to share what is working for me as there are really no rules but let’s face it, who has time to waste? Not you, not me, and certainly not our SDs. You can find me at
    #277377. And I mean what I say, chemistry is absolutely #1 and the rest just seems to follow. Each pairing is unique to the two people in it, and each side has things they can’t compromise on. I don’t know about any of you, but the more I’m able to work out the compromises upfront, the more attracted I am to my SD. It shows our communication is already working very well…and translates into other areas of our relationship!

    BTW, I would absolutely *love* to have the freedom of you younger SBs to travel – I’ve had interest expressed out of state but just can’t pull it off due to having a full time job and 3 kids. They are teens and almost launched but still need a close eye on the weekends. I can however, and successfully have, been able to carve out quality, discreet time locally. Maybe a Saturday night in Manhattan could work for me one day soon!

  211. lisa says:

    i’m going to be superwired this morning. got my ice coffee and they were giving away free cups of caramel latte. caffeine overload

  212. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. Just woke up, felt good to sleep late. Gotta dry my hair and walk over to mcds for an ice coffee. Gonna spend the day at home, nowhere to go. got some more profile views but no emails and I have noticed 99 percent of my view are from out of state.

  213. BlkButtafly says:

    Hello everyone! So glad to hear about your rare find, Kitty! Awesome! As far as the questions go……I haven’t debated about how much my desired amount would be, I think that $1k-$3k is just fine. I would compromise on time spent with my SD if he was married b/c I know he can’t spend all of his time with me. Also, I prefer to discuss the arrangement offline like in person. However, my last few potential SDs decided to talk about over the instant messenger. 2 of them disappeared and 1 is still around but I’m waiting to see if he will work out or not. I don’t like initiating the money conversation. Like a few other SBs on here already stated, I HATE asking for what I want when it comes to money being spent. I’d rather things just come from the heart 🙂

  214. chocolatevenus says:

    Alittleshy – what a wonderful postive email..keep up the good work, and giving us your words of wisdom

    Also do you mind if we have a look at your profile, I would love to see how you present yourself. But I totally understand if you wish to keep your privacy

    CV x

  215. alittleshy51 says:

    Good morning all ~ I am not only over 40, but just a tad over 50 (*gasp) and had to weigh in on this one…I agree with Classy Lady, we should not underestimate our value even at our age. There are some wonderful SDs on this site that also value maturity and experience that we can offer. I have found 2 here that are most generous. The 3rd doesn’t work logistically.

    The men I am attracted to are business men, usually that run companies. They are used to business negotiations – even for sugar! So, since I have a business side too, I talk like they do. I set my “range” (mine is 1-3K) so they know what I’m willing to work around. I love love LOVE that my new SD was so classy that he brought up my allowance himself, after we discussed the relationship, then he followed up next day with an email asking me what I needed. He had me then. As I am a little shy, I was able to lay out terms in email, he agreed, and gave me more than I asked for, and then we left it negotiable from the base amount in the event we meet more than twice per month (he’s a married SD). I feel very good about this. Had the opportunity to talk to him about it at our first face to face but was too flustered trying to figure out how often he wanted to meet and if there was chemistry, though I did have a dollar figure in my mind set.

    Plus if he is willing to up the allowance for more visits, he also is flexible and that means if there is compromising to be done, we’ll be able to do it. I am very happy with this particular SD.

    Meet my second one (married) this week Friday. He knows my range already, he also owns his own business, and now that he has pre-qualified me (I can tell!!!), we’ll be discussing terms in person. Wish me luck, it’s still hard when you’re shy and trying to feel the chemistry (#1 in my book) to decide on an allowance. I won’t compromise on the amount (I need a certain amount) or the mode (cash). I have a job but 3 kids I have to raise alone so I need a set amount. I am working to budget *wink*!!!

  216. BlondieNYC says:

    Thanks! He asked me if it was my number. I told him no, it’s an escort service because that’s what he’s really looking for. LOL!

  217. SweetEuropean says:

    Haha! Nice one Blondie!

  218. BlondieNYC says:

    I’m sorry, but I have to share tonight’s experience. A guy started emailing me, and wouldn’t give me a direct answer to any of my questions. He asked if he could im instead as he felt that he couldn’t express himself well in an email. I’m not fond of iming,but I said, sure go ahead. He wanted to know how soon I could come over to his apartment. I googled an escort service, copied the number and gave it to him.

  219. gurlnextdoor says:

    I have one friend who knows I’m a sugar baby and she’s cool with it (in fact she said she might want to get a sugar daddy lol). but i didn’t tell her too much about my potential sugar daddy, all she knows is he lives out of town and his older than me. she’s also my roommate so i felt i had to tell her something, since she will be noticing when i up and leave suddenly from time to time.

  220. Mina says:

    Lol I’ll go with you 😉

  221. Spanish Vixen says:

    I know right? None of my friends know that I’m a sugar baby. lol

  222. Mina says:

    Aw, good! Make sure to take a non judgemental friend lol…

  223. Spanish Vixen says:

    Just spoke on the phone with him for a little while. Apparently he’s new to the SD thing, but he’s more than willing to provide for me. Told me he would fly a friend up with me if it would make me feel more comfortable…I may take him up on that offer. I’m excited! I’m fairly new to the whole Sugar Baby life. Been with older men before, but this side of it is new and exciting!

  224. Mina says:

    Nothing wrong with living at home! I have an apartment on the 22nd floor of a gorgeous building downtown, but still prefer my pink bedroom at my parents’ home 😉
    Or maybe, if he can travel, meet each other halfway, in a neutral city for one night. You both can fly-in early and leave the next evening, which will give you plenty of time to get a “feel” for each other. And have seperate rooms, too.

  225. Spanish Vixen says:

    I’ll have to mull it over, definitely. When I talk to him next I think I will tell him I don’t feel comfortable leaving my home-town for a first meeting. He knows that my parents would not know where I am, since I still live at home (no baby jokes, plz 😉 )…so I think I’ll see if he’ll come to me 🙂

    Thanks for the advice

  226. Mina says:

    Spanish Vixen, I wouldnt do it personally. For one thing, 3 days is a long time to be in a “foreign” city especially with someone you’ve chatted with for a total of only a few hours.
    I do not travel to SDs for an initial meeting. (There was one instance where I did, but he and I had been talking on the phone/via text for several months) Otherwise, it’s too risky – much safer to meet on your own turf.
    It may seem ideal and easy but dont be so quick to jump at the opportunity simply because it has presented itself.
    Just my opinion though 🙂

  227. Spanish Vixen says:

    So being as a lot of you are well versed in these situations I do have a few questions to ask. I’m trying to find that “one” SD…no luck yet, but I have met many people.

    I’ve been talking with a man off this site for a few days and we seem to really get along (phone calls and IMs)..I’m actually supposed to be calling him in an hour to make plans…but he’s wanting to fly me to his home city for 3 days in 2 weeks…and while I REALLY want to go…I’d like to know if you think it’s a good idea. I must admit, I’m nervous…but I like this potential SD.

    Also, there are some very wonderful men on this site. I have met several and made friends with them..and have a part time SD, but it’s just not enough to pay all I have to pay. I do get profile views, but I haven’t been getting a whole lot of e-mails.

  228. bostonTerrier says:

    Have you debated listing an ‘Amount Negotiable’ VS ‘Dollar Range’ expectation?
    i prefer the “amount negotiable” expectation … i feel like that way a potential sd can tell me what he can offer as opposed to me saying what i’d expect. from my experience it seems to work quite well and i think it is good to talk it all out in person. if i’m going to have a close relationship with whomever, naturally it makes sense to talk about it.

    What kinds of compromises are you most likely to make? Least likely?
    i don’t think i make compromises – i *know* what i want much like a potential sd knows what he wants.

    Do you prefer to negotiate an arrangement online, or offline?
    definitely offline.

  229. Atlantian says:

    Lisa, don’t worry! There’s football playoffs! Profile views are bound to be a bit slower 🙂

  230. lisa says:

    when I joined this site I had high expectations that I would find a sd and I met someone right away but it didn’t last long due to distance, I’ve met 3 more since then, but I have not had a meeting in 4 months and no emails, even with my premium upgrade. My profile just doesn’t seem to be doing it for me.

    Have a good night everyone. I have my friend on the phone and she will be talking for hours.
    Good night.

  231. BeautifulBluegrass says:

    There are pot SDs out there who only want women who are above a certain age. Some want a SB who has a certain amount of life experience or other such things. In fact I have a SD friend who likes his women over 35.
    Classy Lady, I agree completely… others value us only as much as we value ourselves.

  232. lisa says:

    I just don’t see a sugardaddy giving me as much allowance as he would a much younger sexier woman.
    I set high standards for myself, almost too high sometimes and I ended up wasting over 10 years of my life so now I am realistic and don’t aim too high. I would be happy if I found an sd that gave me 1000 a month, I could do well on that as I am not extravagant, I could be, be i’m realistic, but I would love to travel again. I was watching some videos on youtube of the mouin rouge in Paris. When I was in Paris, my dad and I attended the show. Also walking along the Seine river and looking at the eiffel tower from our hotel suite (we found a great deal on an apartment nearby) but that was back in 2003 and I am craving another trip, I need a real vacation. Just started a new job a few months back though so I can’t travel for a long while.
    I am getting no views on my profile tonight.

  233. BlondieNYC says:

    I’m with Classy Lady on this; never sell yourself short in anything be it love, work, play or friendship, always honor yourself first.

  234. Classy Lady says:

    I would like someone to explain why only the young SBs can ask for higher allowances?? I am not in my 20s, but I am not so old I don’t deserve the best!! You only get out what you put in..if you go into a situation thinking you don’t measure up, then you won’t!!!!

  235. lisa says:

    I agree you should both know what the other wants out of the arrangement just like when you apply for a job, you are not sure you will take or be offered the position but you pick jobs that fit your expectations, for example if you had a phd, you wouldn’t apply at mcdonalds, if you wanted to work only nights, you wouldn’t apply for a teaching job, etc.
    It’s best to be upfront about what you want and can offer and if the other party avoids or refuses to even discuss it, they probably aren’t serious and will most likely waste your time

  236. gurlnextdoor says:

    Hmm, I personally believe that you should discuss the major things you want out of the arrangement initially (ex. how much, if any, allowance, do want an exclusive arrangement, etc.). That way you don’t waste your time or the other person’s time (although their profile and YOUR profile should say that from the get go). And then if the chemistry is there, I think you should talk more in depth about what you both want out of the arrangement. that way both parties will be happy.

  237. lisa says:

    You gotta love all these sds that are world travelers but can’t get on a plane for 45 minutes to travel to meet a sb. 🙂

  238. lisa says:

    I have a lover whom I have great chemistry with (for almost 4 years, although we dont’ see each other much anymore because I am now working most weekdays) but that isn’t enough, I would like to find someone whom I have great chemistry with but that will be very generous too, as I often feel sad when I think about what a great life my lover has, while I go without and struggle and unfortunately men are very fickle and will dump a woman for no reason when they get tired of her. I had a boyfriend whom was crazy about me last year, to the point of being annoying and then one day he just changed and suggested i try online dating to meet someone and then he got to busy to even write.
    my profile is getting 0 views tonight. 🙁

  239. BeautifulBluegrass says:

    I supose it comes down to which is more to an individual; the details of the agreement or chemistry…. each to their own

  240. lisa says:

    I would like to discuss that stuff very early on as this is not a site for meeting the person you will spend the rest of your life with, so I don’t want to take too much to develope what will naturally be a short lived relationship compared to a conventional one. A date or two should be sufficient to see if an arrangment will happen.

  241. BeautifulBluegrass says:

    Have you debated listing an ‘Amount Negotiable’ VS ‘Dollar Range’ expectation?
    I chose to pick a dollar range, albeit the lowest one. I want to be pampered, and also to be with a man who has already figured out what he can spend… someone who I know has thought things out. Also, to me that is still leaving a lot of leeway- does that include dates? gifts? travel expenses? or does it just cover allowance?

    What kinds of compromises are you most likely to make? Least likely?
    As hinted above I am flexible with the financial aspect of the relationship… also with how often we see each other and what we do. I will not compromise when it comes to chemistry and respect; I NEED both.

    Do you prefer to negotiate an arrangement online, or offline?
    I am comfortable negotiating some aspects offline, but the bulk of it should wait till at least after the first meeting…. I mean, how many dates lead to a relationship? I don’t want to waste my time discussing that sort of stuff initially. Plus I want to use that time getting to know each other.

  242. dreamer says:

    ikd 35 sounds like pretty good odds.. If i couldnt get 1 SD out of 35 men in my town, I would give up the SB dream.. Never know til you try. So try!

  243. Sam (formerly Sig) says:

    Hi OC:

    No, I discuss business terms with lots of people over email that I haven’t met. 😉 I may be rare but I do not get emotional over money. I see arrangements as having mutual business terms, terms pertaining to the NSA benefits expected, and then, as a bonus, whatever develops emotionally and otherwise between two people who like and respect each other, and work on a meaningful shared project.

    Perhaps this is poor form to post here, but my standard is in the range of $2k to $6k per month depending on situation and country, in the form of a monthly stipend wired to her bank. This does not include gifts or travel expenses, which can be considerable. But most of the financial part goes to the shared project, which may include substantial seed investments in organizations or education.

    The arrangement has a limited term, between one and four years, until the project is done.

    I try to bring all this up early, even before we meet, since there are some SB are undoubtedly looking for a different arrangement, and I do not want to waste our time. For example if they want to merely enjoy the lap of luxury and travel then my arrangement is not for them. There is nothing wrong with that, it just does not match what I want: my arrangement requires a high degree of work for which they should be willing to make their financial requirements known.

    I have many friends with children they raise together with their spouses. That sounds like a great project, but I enjoy building things like companies, charitable organizations: visions and motivations for people. I am looking for fixed-term, NSA, once a month or so “startup company” partner who can create something tangible with me, be mentored and guided by me, and give me non-financial returns in the form of respect, thanks, personal growth, travel and event companionship, and her imaginative use of her feminine wiles. 😉

    Does this help?

  244. lisa says:

    I just did an advanced search. only 307 sds in Houston and only 35 are premium members and some of those haven’t logged in in a while. odds not good

  245. lisa says:

    well i’m over 40, still slim and petite but I’m not 20 anymore. lol
    I put 1-3k in my profile and got over 300 views but no emails.

  246. goldengirl says:

    What a great discussion–I just joined the site and am learning tons! But why are some of you saying that “because of my age I cannot ask for much”?? That is just ridiculous! Please feel better about yourself and ask for what you know you are worth and deserve :-).

  247. lisa says:

    I had mine as amount negotiable and got only cheapos, changed it to 1-3k and got nothing, changed it back to amount negotiable and am getting no resonse. I prefer bringing up allowance before meeting if the sd does not sound like he knows what the site is about and especially if they talk about what they want. I have lost two potential sds after telling them what this site was about. I think both of them were just looking for someone to date and **** with no strings attached, they weren’t looking to spoil anyone.

  248. sis says:

    as for me. ive put it up form 3000-5000$ to sometimes amount negotiable because ive been in an sd/sb rlshp that it went from 5- 8000 a month on a credit card he had given me. so soemtimes its a good idea so the guy looking spend under a 1000$ doesnt come your way.

    some of us are shy to talk about money in person soo you can easily waste your time with a gent that doesnt wanna spent.

  249. lisa says:

    I have a whole list of stuff I want to get when I find a new sd. Need alot of cosmetics, some spring clothes, a really nice sheet set, and a tv and dvd player (nothing expensive just something so I can play my dvds again, and in feb my tv will go blank, I got the coupon for 40 dollars but the boxes seem to cost at least 60 here

  250. gurlnextdoor says:

    Yeah SpanishVixen I know what you mean.

    Well, everyone I think this may be it. I think I may have found him. I’m flying out to Boston Tuesday to see a potential SD. We’ve been texting each other nonstop all day with a short phone call as he made his way to work. 🙂 He is so sweet and always concerned with making me feel comfortable. He offered to take me shopping but like Kitty I don’t feel right just saying “I want this and that”. It’s just not in me. I asked for a trenchcoat though, once he asked me what did I want him to buy me when I got down there (I’ve wanted one for the past 2 years, but never got one). Anyway, hopefully things will go well, since I’m only flying down for the evening and coming back the next day. I can’t wait to go, plus he’s got this sexy Northerner accent that makes me weak in the knees. *sigh*

  251. lisa says:

    eeeeeeeeek! the maintanance man finally came and fixed my leaking faucets….. and made a mess in my bathroom. why can’t men clean up after themselves. and he used my washcloth to clean something. yikes.

    He also asked me if I was single and told me I was very beautiful. yikes he is like 20 years old and dirt poor. gotta transfer some of that over to a sugardaddy.
    still an empty inbox for me, but water has finally stopped dripping after 3 years.
    Hope all goes well for you kitty. when the guys took me shopping, one was very passive and I just kinda had a list of what I wanted and went from store to store and bought it, nothing extravagent, just clothes and cosmetics. the second one kinda picked stuff out which I really didn’t like that and since he cancelled our evening date, I didn’t wear the dresses or shoes he bought so I was able to take them back with the receipt which I had and exchange them for something I liked and that was more practical than the outfit he bought for a formal event.

    I basicallly would like about 1000 dollars and occasional outings, gifts, etc.
    I love luxury but know at my age I can’t ask for big amounts, so 1000 would do me nicely

  252. chocolatevenus says:

    Hi Kitty,

    So happy! Glad you found a good one!

  253. A. says:

    Kitty – Congrats on the date! I’m happy it went well for you!

  254. kittylainy says:

    Thanks everyone.. I’m so glad it went ok. We didn’t get intimate, we just made out and stuff. He made me feel extremely comfortable at his house and didn’t push me to do anything I didn’t want.

    I changed my profile from amount negotiable to 1,000-3,000.
    I find that when I put amount negotiable, it is mistaken as, “allowance not necessary” though I swing back and forth about what I want. I think about 1,000 a month allowance plus gifts would be adequate for me. I make enough money, but sometimes the amount of $ I spend on beauty and luxuries is just WAY too much.
    I would never negoiate $$ online, and I hate doing it in person.
    My mother has always taught me that i’s rude to ask for gifts or money. Therefore I feel so uncomfortable about the subject. Even though I want it in the open. I wish SD can just READ my mind.

    ok so I really want this SD to pay my cellphone bill and get me a gym membership and personal trainer. How do I ask for that?
    He wants to take me shopping tomorrow, but I can’t see myself going into a store and just going, “I want this,” “buy me this…” It’s just not me, and I am sure he is willing to buy it for me, but how do you get what you want without asking?

    I am certain though, an arrangement throws alot of the old fashion courtesy out the window. Am I right?

    Let me know if I am being confusing… I am confusing myself.. I’m sitting infront of the computer eating raw cookie dough.. my head’s not on straight right now.

  255. A. says:

    I have a set amount on my profile. I know what I want and I won’t comprimise.

  256. lisa says:

    Hi everyone, I just got home from work. my coworker was in a bad mood today. she came in to work 4 hours late and ask me if I had done anything. I had been working very hard, but since she forgot to come to work on time, she missed it. lol
    got some more views on my profile (including the one guy I met and discussed and arrangement with about 5 months ago, the one that just disappeared) but no emails. 🙁 I should have used the 20 dollar premium fee for something fun instead.
    Glad to hear your date went well Kitty, just remember not to get to involved intimately before you make an actual arrangement and see that his is serious.
    Welcome back sweetredhead, talked to your sd lately? Did you buy you a nice Christmas gift?

    The weatherman really messed up the forcast here today. 60 percent chance of rain today and it’s been nothing but sunny all day

  257. OCSugarBaby says:

    Hey Sugars!
    Sweetred- Nice you have you back. Missed you girl!

    Kitty- Welcome to cloud nine, it is a wonderful place!

    I am off to Pasadena today to view the floats from the Rose Parade. Girls day out. Finally the sun is out. Very gloomy the past few days.

    Kisses to all…

  258. BlondieNYC says:

    Kitty congrats on the date, may you have another fabulous one soon 🙂

    Sig – you don’t find it uncomfortable talking about arrangements with someone you haven’t met? How and when do you bring it up? When you’re viewing a profile, what are you looking for? What are your turnoffs? What do you feel is a reasonable as opposed to an unreasonable amount?

    Inquiring minds want to know!

  259. SweetEuropean says:

    Welcome back Sweetred, I was wondering where you went! 🙂

  260. sweetredhead269443 says:

    Hi everyone! Wow I missed a lot. Hope you all are doing well. Don’t think I am going to read everything just to much to catch up on.

    I will be redoing my profile soon. the one I have just doesn’t seem to be working for me. Stay tuned for updated pictures 🙂

  261. Sig says:

    I have no problem with bringing up the financial arrangement early or over email, although if that is the ONLY conversational topic it is a turnoff.

    I find it helpful if a SB profile includes a number rather than “amount negotiable.” Among other things it helps gauge a combination of their living style and whether they expect the SD to be luxury-level support, basic plus-level support, or supplementary support. I prefer the latter two plus business or educational support.

    Good news, Kitty!

  262. Spanish Vixen says:

    gurlnextdoor…yea, that’s kind of what I was looking at aswell. I want my potential SD’s to know who I am before they try to figure out “what I’m worth” you know?

  263. Atlantian says:

    I’m so glad the date went well, Kitty! He sounds like a great guy!

    I hope he is the SD for you!

  264. gurlnextdoor says:

    Spanish Vixen this is how I see it. If your looking for an arrangement then it should be obvious to both parties that the SB will be monetarily compensated for her time and effort she puts into making her wonderful SD happy. So, I think if you try to get to know your potential SD first without asking about any financial compensation, that will make any SD look at you as being a sincere SB. (which you should be) That’s my lil bit of advice for the day…I’m off to go eat some brunch and get my travel arrangements in order. Au revoir everyone…

  265. gurlnextdoor says:

    Yeah Blondie that’s what I was thinking. And Kitty I’m glad your date went well last night. Maybe he’s the SD for you. 😉

  266. Spanish Vixen says:

    I’ve always wondered about the “amount negotiable” and setting a set amount on my profile. I think part of it is I don’t want to seem like a gold digger…I hate that. I am a caring human being, and when I have SD’s, I do like to take care of them. But at the same time, I don’t want to be taken advantage of.

    How do you get an allowance without seeming like it’s your first…and only desire out of the relationship?

  267. BlondieNYC says:

    NC you brought up some great points about long distance relationships, and I really wouldn’t mind having one. The idea of flying out to spend time with your honey, having that little bubble where the real world doesn’t intrude, then going back to your daily life sounds ideal to me.

  268. kittylainy says:

    *yawn* Afternoon SUGARS!!
    I just woke up.. it’s noon I definately slept in today.. haven’t in a LOOONNNGGGG time! I’m about to jump in the shower.. but just want to give you all dear sugars an update on my date last night…
    he was perfect! He was cute, sweet, charming, GOOD TEETH and HYGENE, his house was gorgeous (he built it himself) the design was fabulous… he owns a well known business in the city 🙂 we did “play” for a bit but I didn’t give it all up~ I might have found a SD! 🙂 But no talk about $$ or anything yet. Just that he’ll take me for a shopping sprees 🙂
    ok shower time..
    I will [ost about the blog question later in the afternoon!!
    *skips away happily*

  269. NC Gentleman says:

    Thanks Nina — we got along very well, and we still talk occasionally. The arrangement ended amicably when she graduated from college and got a job with less flexibility.

  270. Mina says:

    NC Gentleman – 2 years is very impressive!

  271. gurlnextdoor says:

    Yeah perhaps we will. 🙂

  272. NC Gentleman says:

    Hi there neighbor! I actually live and work in Cary. Maybe we will see each other in the RDU airport if you are going to be flying a lot!

  273. gurlnextdoor says:

    thanx for the great advice Mina and NC Gent. Yeah, I think I’d prefer a long distance arrangement since I’m a big fan of traveling and it would give me time to have a life of my own. NC Gent I live in Chapel Hill (well go to school there anyway).

  274. NC Gentleman says:

    Hi gurlnextdoor — I have had two SBs and both were out of town. One was in RI and the other was in NV. I am recognizable in the local community (Raleigh) so I can’t do a local SB. I travel a lot for business, so it worked out great. One relationship lasted 2 years and one 7 months. It works out great if the SB can travel with me on business, because it does get lonely on the road. The SB has a chance to see some great places because I travel all over the US and Europe. You have to accept that you are going to see each other less often but for longer periods of time when together. Phone, email and text make the time pass between meetings, but on the upside, you can easily each have your own lives.

    Good luck!

  275. Mina says:

    gurlnextdoor – My previous SD (who may be back in the picture) lived a 2.5 hour plane ride away. However, because he traveled all over the U.S. and occasionally to Asia & Europe, I was able to see him a fair amount of times though inconsistent. There were two nonconsecutive months where we did not see one another, and the rest of the time he’d fly me out anywhere from two to five times a month. Besides our initial meeting, where he came to see me, I always hopped on a plane to go see him. So it is feasible to have a long distance SD/SB relationship but it does take a little extra work.
    And a true gentleman will come see you for a first meeting 😉

  276. gurlnextdoor says:

    By the way does anyone know if there are any discussions about long distance SD/SB relationships on here? I’m supposed to be meeting a potential SD who lives in Maine soon (I live in NC) and I’m wondering if anyone has ever been in the same boat before.

  277. gurlnextdoor says:

    Hey everyone, I’m really loving these discussions 🙂 It’s the only place I feel I can discuss this type of relationship without getting the “now I’m not saying she’s a gold digger…” type looks. Anyway let’s get to the questions.

    Have you debated listing an ‘Amount Negotiable’ VS ‘Dollar Range’ expectation?

    When I first joined last month I had “amount negotiable”, but then when I started getting emails from SDs whom I knew couldn’t afford to pay me the allowance I desired (I mean men who were making like 75K – 100k a year) I decided to change it. Now I list that I want 1k-3k. And although the emails have decreased a bit, I’m getting more mail from men I know will be able to fufill my financial expectations.

    What kinds of compromises are you most likely to make? Least likely?

    Well at first I wanted a single SD with no kids. But then I started to realize how near impossible that would be to find. So, now I’ve compromised on what my potential SD’s relationship status can be (single, divorced, or separated with kids) I don’t think I could compromise on my desired allowance or some things like having a “pay to play” type arrangement. That’s just crossing the line over into the wonderful world of prostitution. And a hooker I am not.

    Do you prefer to negotiate an arrangement online, or offline?

    I agree with everyone else that it’s better to negotiate an arrangement offline. That’s just my preference because then I can see if we click in person, without having to feel somewhat obligated to start something I won’t like once I get the entire package there in front of me.

  278. Cookie says:

    Well, if he can only take me shopping during lunch time … LOL

    But you’re right Blondie… I never thought of it that way

  279. BlondieNYC says:

    I think chemistry is the most important element for any relationship you have.
    Personally I am extremely leery of any SD who only wants to meet only during the day. Yes, I know we’re the delightful desserts on the side, but there’s absolutely no way that you can have any sort of trust, respect or even like with someone who’s going to scurry to see you during lunch. It’s too smarmy and low-rent for me.

  280. Cookie says:

    Have you debated listing an ‘Amount Negotiable’ VS ‘Dollar Range’ expectation?

    At first, I had “Negotiable” because I had never been involved in an “official” arrangement like this … but recently after the amount of emails started decreasing, I thought maybe if I put a set amount that would help. But seriously like Mina mentioned… her SD gave her double what she would have expected… So what if I put 1-3k and my new SD can dish out 5k/month? That would really suck lol

    What kinds of compromises are you most likely to make? Least likely?

    Well, if I were involved with a married SD that could only meet during the day … that would be a compromise. Accepting less than the arrangement is not lol.

    Do you prefer to negotiate an arrangement online, or offline?

    I prefer to do the negotiating offline. I’m a bit shy when it comes down to things like that, so I would definitely have to feel the chemistry and get comfortable before agreeing to an arrangement.

  281. BlondieNYC says:

    Lisa sleep well! Leave the candy until tomorrow!

  282. Mina says:

    I guess some people have a hard time understanding “realistic expecations” (in no way relating to settling, of course)

  283. lisa says:

    I joined way back in early summer and met 4 guys, one short term sd, 2 nice dates with shopping but they decided they didn’t want to persue a relationship, and one coffee date and serious arrangement discussion and then his disappeared. I too have noticed almost all the same sds in my state, 3 of which I met months ago. I have received responses back from a few that said they had already met someone however they continue to be on the site and keep renewing. you’d think if they met the one, they would get off the site. I have also noticed alot of those offering 10-20 k a month are still on here, means they are either impossibly picky or lying about what they are offering.
    Well I have to go to bed soon, gotta get up an 6 to go to work, saturday bus service sucks so I gotta leave an hour early and get to work 45 minutes early and sit around, if I take the next bus, i would be 15 minutes late. I get off early though so will have a free afternoon to sit around.
    Good night everyone

  284. BlondieNYC says:

    Lisa I hope you kicked him hard!
    I’ve been on since August, haven’t written a ton of emails, but I have noticed that the pot sds who only want a slap and tickle in the afternoon or have impossibly high expectations are still on here.

  285. lisa says:

    BlondieNYC maybe he wants to buy a vowel to figure out the next word he wants to write

  286. Mina says:

    LOL. I wonder how many times they’ve tried that and if it actually works. Because if not (And I highly doubt it does)… It might be time to try a different approach.

  287. Mina says:

    That is beyond creepy… Words cannot describe!

  288. BlondieNYC says:

    Eeeeew! Eeeewww!! Poor Mina! I had a one word email from a guy “YOU” okay, and that meant????? I swear!

  289. lisa says:

    well when I was trying a regular dating site, I had a “gentleman” suggest that he should take my daughter (she was 15 at the time) on her first date to show her how her boyfriends should treat her on a date. This guy was in his 50’s and wanted to meet me and if we hit if off, wanted to take me daughter out, now that’s creepy. my daughter was just overjoyed that a old bald guy wanted to take her out.

  290. Mina says:

    Blondie, you’ll love this gem:
    I had a man email me and ask me if I ever traveled to his city. When I revealed that I indeed do, about once a month (to visit my best friend) he asked “How much would it cost for me to come over to your friend’s place for an hour?” (word for word, that is exactly what he wrote.) I politely declined and he followed up with “Maybe we can get your friend to join? I’ll spoil you both!”
    Wow, looks like Prince Charming finally answered my calls! Jk, I put the blocking feature to good use 🙂

  291. lisa says:

    I did something similiar to that back in the days of phone dating services (if anyone remembers those telematch sites that existed before the back in the 90’s) I used to like to play on those and they had different catagories. I posted a voice ad on the ltr catagory, the erotic hot talk catagory, and the sex meet catagory (keep in mind I had no intention of meeting these people, I was a lot younger and bored) well of course i discuised my voice and found myself getting messages from some of the same guys who acted like completely different people according to which ad they responded too. I mentioned religion in my serious ad cause I was into religion at the time and well one guy was really spiritual and quoting the bible and the same guy left me a message that would curl your toes if I quoted it. different profiles can yield different results.
    I wasn’t serious back then, just amusing myself.

  292. Silver says:

    Blondie: You know it’s kinda tempting to try something like that..to compare and find out different views on such a thing.

  293. BlondieNYC says:

    you know, I am super tempted to write up a profile w/o a pic and be a bit risque just to see what would happen…lol!

  294. BlondieNYC says:

    I don’t want to discuss anything until I meet someone and suss them out. As Mina wrote earlier and I agree with her, “I feel that immediate discussions on allowance prior to meeting is just tacky. And if you meet and there’s no chemistry but you go along with the arrangement because the money has been offered, then it crosses the not-so-fine line of prostitution.”

    And to be honest there are a lot of men who call themselves SDs but they only want to email you to death.

    Best to meet someone and see if there’s a fire burning!

  295. Silver says:

    ~Have you debated listing an ‘Amount Negotiable’ VS ‘Dollar Range’ expectation?

    I have listed within my profile that the amount is negotiable. To me it should be about the money but rather the connects felt before even getting into a whole other area.

    ~What kinds of compromises are you most likely to make? Least likely?

    I am open to hearing out different things.

    ~Do you prefer to negotiate an arrangement online, or offline?

    Personally, I think that I will end up doing such a thing in person. Perhaps a brief run through on-line after the second meeting if it ever comes to that and then a second run through in person at the third meeting to discuss what was said over mails, if that makes sense.

  296. BlondieNYC says:

    I think we’re preaching to the choir! That’s why I won’t discuss it. It’s like when you get an email from a guy who says he wants to come over to your place in the afternoons only. That’s not a sugar baby, that’s in-call.

  297. Mina says:

    Exactly – I feel that immediate discussions on allowance prior to meeting is just tacky. And if you meet and there’s no chemistry but you go along with the arrangement because the money has been offered, then it crosses the not-so-fine line of prostitution.

  298. BlondieNYC says:

    My profile also lists amount negotiable. It’s not something I’m going to discuss off the bat. I want to know the person first before there’s any discussion whatsoever regarding pampering, allowance, gifts etc., I get immediately turned off and usually don’t answer first emails from a pot. SD who asks me what it is.

    I’m sure that there are SDs who low ball as well as high ball their salary. And while I’d love to be spoiled, I’d prefer to find someone who ‘”clicks” with me first, then we can discuss the mundane.

  299. Mina says:

    My profile listed “amount negotiable” because it depended on the arrangement, really. Different factors like availability (on both ends), distance, and type of arrangement (whether mostly intimate or platonic) come into play. While in my mind I had a budget of around $2500 or so (in all honesty, that’s all play/shopping money as my parents pay for my necessities… and then some) but my SD more than triples that each month… And we never even discussed allowance in depth!
    I don’t compromise on anything, ever. No one should.
    I think negotiations should only be made in person, after the two parties have met (on more than one occasion) and agree to be in an arrangement. Someone can seem great “on paper” but there may not be the chemistry one had hoped for when meeting face to face. A little something I learned the hard way… 🙂

  300. youngguy4man says:

    Have you debated listing an ‘Amount Negotiable’ VS ‘Dollar Range’ expectation?
    I have…decided on open based on the fact that I dont my future relationship to be based on money. I see how it can be beneficial to list it, but I like communication too..
    What kinds of compromises are you most likely to make? Least likely?
    Umm Im not too sure about this. I guess attraction is hard to compromise. So, I couldnt compromise that. Umm Im most likely to compromise how Im treated, I know I dont treat people the best so I give men a lot of slack sometimes..
    Do you prefer to negotiate an arrangement online, or offline?
    Im new to this, not the site but actually getting into this arrangement.

    I cant wait to see what others say about this, because I need some advice…when should that get brought up? How soon? Being an SB should I wait for the SD to bring it up no matter what?

    Hope everyones new year is going well!!