11 years ago
Sugar Endings


Most of the discussion on the blog so far have been about how to create and maintain an ideal mutually beneficial relationship, but it may be worth considering the best ways to, and reasons for, ending an arrangement… because as we all know, nothing lasts forever ๐Ÿ˜‰


I would think you break up with a SD the same way you would break up with any other guy…

Ideally, a Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby arrangement ends amicably, since all sugars involved knew that this type of relationship is about sharing joy for as long as it lasts – not binding ties.

Ideally, would there even be a need to ‘break-up’ with a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby?

Do you think it’s easier to stay in good spirits with a former Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby than it is an ex boyfriend or girlfriend? If so, why?

Have you ever entered an arrangement with a pre-arranged ‘end date’? Would you consider doing this?

Does sugar dating appeal to you in part because of the absence of drama often found in traditional dating/relationships?

Leave a Reply

124 Responses to “Sugar Endings”

  1. Sailor says:

    I have a bit of a dilemma I am attempting to deal with. I entered this arrangement with eyes wide open and listened to promises I shouldn’t have. We started dating once a week (and I do mean dating, dinner only) for a month or so. Things went well, so we started spending the random night togther and spending time. She came to me in June and wanted to rent a house – I made sure it was within her current budget and took on the payments to ease her burden. We moved in and things were ok at first. We will start with the crying phone call that she had been laid off from work. Being an idiot, I pushed her to file for unemployment – thing is she quit – four weeks later it came out she lied. Ok, she made a mistake, I can live with that. She took July to run to the shore and party while I worked and signed up to return to college. In August I went ahead and setup a BBL (12K) and nursed her through the surgery (working at home). This is where it gets weird… she sold her car – a clunker 1999 – without telling me. Sex has completely stopped on all fronts, I’m footing everything coming and going. Knowing she had no car, I talked to a friend and obtained a 20k loan to set her up – she spent every time + 800 on a 2003 car… (sigh). Now it’s her birthday and after I decided to not raise hell on her week, gave her a few hundred and my car to go out – she has vanished all weekend again with the brief, miss you – love you .. zoom. Ive voiced my frustration and my give a damn is broke – I’m ready to walk out – she has no income nor savings apparently (what the hell ? – she has no bills) and I was fronting 1k a week to her. I’m at wits end here and want to just exit.. without killing my karma. No this isn’t nice guy syndrome, it’s I try and be a decent human to people. Any advice is appreciated.

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  5. BettieGirlDD*273192 says:

    Brown sugar dont be nervous.. remeber you’re the sexy one, here!

    Aaaaaand my job interview went great.. expecting 2nd interview early March.
    However I definately got stood up last night! It was some guy who randomly approached me via myspace but he had a real SD vibe to him, so I felt him out in that direction and he was very much on board. Last I heard from him was an email around noon: “on my way see you at 7.” Granted I did get to the meeting spot at 7:04, but I was keeping an eye out and its not even like he could have gotten a look at me and ran. (who would do that anyway?) Of course we didnt exchange numbers…
    I’m paranoid it’s someone messing with me!

  6. Gail says:

    Best of luck on your first SD date tommorrow Brown Sugar!!!

  7. lisa says:

    Good evening everyone. Back from a hectic day. Daughter is waiting at airport to go to New york, plane already delayed 3 hours :(. No word on computer delivery tomorrow so my parents will probably end up sitting at my place all day for nothing. empty inbox. Gotta touch up my hair roots now.
    Hope everyone is well, I’m too tired to read all the posts as I just can’t concentrate right now.

  8. bostonTerrier says:

    good luck

  9. Brown Sugar 292409 says:

    *i have (sorry ๐Ÿ™ see how nervous i am lol)

  10. Brown Sugar 292409 says:

    u have my FIRST Sd meeting tomorrow after class i am sssooo nervous

  11. Brown Sugar 292409 says:

    HELLO everyone

  12. HenriLouis*294522 says:

    Just got back from an intense day.
    Been up and about now for 18 hours, but enjoyed myself hugely.
    I have read up all the new messages on the blog.
    Only problem is that I was invited to a grand dinner.
    You sit at table and all these ready delicious dishes come along.
    Yes, to slim down is to take half the amount I usullay eat.
    So I only ate half of everything that was placed in from of me.
    The host then inquires of you do not feel well or so.
    You really feel an idiot of you would answer, yes you see I have this beautiful pot SB and…….
    In the meantime the slogan had changed into
    Well life can be hard on me sometimes.
    Hgirl I am so glad for you to read that you did not have a broken rib.
    It is time now to sign off and get to bed.
    Tomorrow and other intensive day.
    So many mails waiting for me to be dealt with.
    See you in the morning,

  13. SuthrnExec says:

    It was new for all of us at one time or another AJ – hang in there.

  14. aj says:

    Thanks everyone! The blogs are a lot of help..this is new territory ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. Natty*296451 says:

    Bettie!!!!!!!! Thanks ๐Ÿ™‚ Tell that to some SD’s.
    I’m trying not to lose hope but it seems like all the action is on your side of the pond.

  16. BettieGirlDD*273192 says:

    Hgirl.. command language searches are for a system that doesnt allow you to type free language: you have to use certain codes to get anywhere. it’s for really precice searches of huge databases. (I’m a corporate/medical librarian)
    Natty LOL.. whoops. Your profile is adorable btw.

    AJ go back and read through some old blogs to learn from our mistakes!

    Everyone else: sorry I’ve been absent.. lots of other things going on! Missed ya!

  17. SuthrnExec says:

    Welcome to the blog Aj. Feel free to pick our collective brains – there are a lot of good folks around to help.

  18. Hgirl says:

    Welcome Aj!

  19. Nico says:

    Welcome AJ and good luck. You’ll find the blog to be a lot of help ๐Ÿ™‚ And some really great people too!

  20. aj says:

    Hi Everyone! I’m new here. I just joined this site about a week ago and still trying to figure this whole thing out…It can be quite exhausting sifting through all the profiles ๐Ÿ™‚

    Excited to meet my SD!

  21. Natty*296451 says:

    Well don’t worry I accidentally typed Fatty in one of my messages to a (I’m sure NOT anymore) potential SD!!!!!!!! And I don’t wear contacts so I don’t have a good excuse for that.

  22. Hgirl says:

    Hey again. I got bucked off a horse but no major damage at all.

    What are command language-based searches?

  23. SuthrnExec says:

    LOL Natty, that’s what happens when you type without your contacts in! The “c” is back!

  24. Natty*296451 says:

    Bettie, congrats and good luck on job interview and pot date.

    We have Banana Republic in the UK, so I’m sure you look smart as it’s a smart store to shop from.

    Suthrn Exec? What happened to your C? Now it’s suthrn exev? LOL

  25. SuthrnExev says:

    Morning Nico!

    Bettie, if you’re not confident going in, it won’t matter how how well you know command language-based searches. That was probably a smart purchase!

  26. BettieGirlDD*273192 says:

    I probably didnt need to, but i got a new top from banana republic to give me confidence. I should probably do better to brush up on command language based searches…

  27. Nico says:

    Wow Bettie….that’s way too kewl!! Good luck! Morning SE ๐Ÿ™‚

  28. SuthrnExec says:

    Morning Hgirl, Nico and Bettie – wow Bettie! You have lots of potential great things going on – all the best!

  29. BettieGirlDD*273192 says:

    Morning sugars… I have a date with a Pot that approached me on myspace! weird, huh? I wasnt even sending out any signals…

    and a job interview tomorrow.

  30. Nico says:

    Gooooood Morning Sugar Fam….Hgirl….what did you do????

  31. Hgirl says:

    Good morning everyone! I have a busy day but the sun is shining. I’m off to the doctor’s to determine if I broke my rib when I broke my wrist…hahahahahaha

    Before this I hadn’t ever broken a bone in my body nor even sprained something!

  32. SuthrnExec says:

    The end of the month is a VERY good thing! ๐Ÿ™‚

  33. Natty*296451 says:

    Body Shrieking: that’s a metal band in the making!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    My body shrieked too Henri, mainly after realising it’s almost the end of the month.

  34. Name (required) says:

    I’ve probably looked at 1000 profiles lol

    I should send 1000 emails now… ๐Ÿ˜›


    there’s this one guy who hasn’t logged in for the past 9 days…hehehe

    I wonder when he’ll read my email…hope he replies lol

  35. SuthrnExec says:

    Good morning Henri, Natty and Lisa!

    Henri, my body was shrieking this morning for sure!

  36. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. Headed out to work soon. another lousy day, computer order still pending and the money is appearing back in my bank accouont so I don’t know what they are doing but wish they would get my order taken care of as I really tired of this. I know they will call me today while I am at work and by the time I get home tonight, the call place will be closed and again tomorrow I work all day. I can’t call or access the internet at work either.
    Have a great day everyone. Looks lousy for me.

  37. Natty*296451 says:

    Good Morning Sugar People,

    Another day, Another chance to keep my search going!!!!!!!

    Hope you all have a wonderful day as well.



  38. HenriLouis*294522 says:

    Just a quickie for my own amusement before I go into the next meeting.
    Did my workout.
    Did the crunches.
    Slogan on the wall reads
    I did.
    Good to feel alive !
    Wish you a shrieking great day !

  39. HenriLouis*294522 says:

    Good morning everyone in sugarland,
    It is half past six over here and I am ready for another interesting intensive day. Lots of meetings and problem solving, visit to an art gallery, some travel and return late into the night.
    But first off to the fitness centre for my second work-out.
    Nice place, clean, good instructors.
    Every hour there is a special 10 minutes training the muscles of your belly. Really essential, it is the “centre plate” for your explosive power.
    Had that at Karate in the past. Summer was for windsurfing at sea and martial arts in winter keeps you fit and hones your split second reaction.
    Catch up on the blog past midnight, for you middle of the day.
    Have a marvellous life just like mine,

  40. JustMe **193017** says:

    Hey there… anybody around? Seems to be quiet tonight!

  41. lisa says:

    I have this laptop but i’ve been without my desktop for 6 months. They have my money already and I just want my computer. They keep wanting me to cancel the order but if I do that then I have to wait for the money to go back in my bank and by that time the sale and rebate will be over. I have to get the rebate in the mail by this saturday in order to get money back. that’s the reason I ordered from this store, if I want to pay full price, I can go anywhere. I just hope they don’t try to reschedule for friday as that is my mom’s birthday and we are going to be out all day and I can’t just cancel everything to sit home waiting for a delivery. I have to get it discreetly too so I don’t want them going to the office or to anther door as if someone finds out I have a new computer, I will get burglarized.

    My daughter borrowed my winter coat, neckscarf and bought gloves and earmuffs, hopefully she will be prepared.

  42. Nico says:

    Hey Lisa…sorry about the computer drama. At least you still have your laptop ~ even though it doesn’t work the way you would hoped it would ๐Ÿ˜‰ You’ll have the new one soon enough ๐Ÿ™‚

  43. bostonTerrier says:

    i’m not in NY but i know it’ll be cold. tell her to bundle up!

  44. lisa says:

    anyone know what the weather is like in New york city? My daughter is headed up there tomorrow for 4 days.

  45. lisa says:

    it’s crazy and it’s only that i want to make sure they include my apt number. I am sure this will be important when the delivery guy comes and finds out it’s a huge 350 apartment complex with 34 buildings. I am waiting to see if the warehouse calls me back but of course they will do it while i’m at work and by the time I get home tomorrow (after 5 pm) they will be closed. my mom’s coming over to stay all day thursday and it’s not like I can pay her to keep coming back to spend the day waiting for the delivery. such a a hassle and I know I will never purchase anything from office depot ever again and after this issue is resolved I am going to make a complaint about their shipping policies. I mean really, when they contact the warehouse, just have them to add the apt number to my invoice, how difficult is that, gee

    anyway it’s been a nice day except for that, oh well my eyes are not doing well according to the eye doctor. ordered contacts that will come in to the store sometime early next week.

  46. Hgirl says:

    Yah once when I tried to order a new credit card because I lost the old one they wouldn’t let me change the address. I told them that the old address was not valid any longer because my school recently moved its mailroom but they told me that because of the Patriot Act (what does that have to do with this?), if I changed my address it would take 4 extra weeks. Sigh.

  47. lisa says:

    Good rainy evening everyone. Just got back from the eye doctor and meeitng my daughter. Got a new prescription for my contacts and my eyes are getting worse, probably end up legally blind like my dad did in his 50’s. Got a call from office depot and they are screwed up appologizing for the order being late, duh, it’s not late, it’s supposed to be delivered thursday but is still pending. this is getting on my nerves, I just need them to add my apartment number, not change and adress like they keep saying. they suggest placing another order, but I dont’ have the extra money to reorder as it will take days to refund my money if they do and then the sale will be off as it ends saturday along with the rebate so I have to have it now. Gee I thought the ecomony was suffering and retailers needed our money.

  48. angie says:

    thank you for the advice!

  49. OCSugarBaby says:


  50. HenriLouis*294522 says:

    Yes, that would be a great idea.
    Perhaps we might walk the dog together along the beach.
    Sea, soft sand, sun, sound of the surf, bit of a breeze.
    Seems ideal.
    What kind of sun tan lotion is your favourite.
    Hum, my mind wanders off.
    Anyway your dog likes me and that is the main thing.
    I have a calander here, so sorry just black labs.
    Every month there is a nice quote.
    This one is perfect:
    Living with a dog is easy,
    Like living with an idealist.
    Great wisdom.
    Have to sign off now, almost half past eleven over here.
    Get up again at six tomorrow.
    Shall I take the dog out for a walk then ?

  51. Nico says:

    Yes Sam ~ you’ll have to keep us posted on the short term ‘project’ ๐Ÿ™‚

    Good night all!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ *hugs*

  52. OCSugarBaby says:

    HenriLouis- I thought sending you a picture of my Labrador would cheer you up. Did it work???? ๐Ÿ™‚

  53. ~*kittylainy*279647*~ says:

    Sam’s got an amazing short term project he’s taken on. Can’t wait to see the results ๐Ÿ˜‰

  54. Beach says:

    “Have you ever entered into an arrangement with a pre-arranged end date?”
    No, but I have had slightly older SBs with a more casual arrangements. If both parties are established in life, it can go on for an extended period of time.
    If I had a younger SB though, particularly a student or someone starting out in a career, I think a target end date would be a good idea. There is always a possibility that a relationship of this nature can change from empowerment to dependence if it goes in indefinately. It also recognizes that the SB will likely go through some life changes and provides the SD the opportunity to step aside gracefully at a natural development point in the SBs life, easing the transition for both.

  55. Nico says:

    Interesting….I’ve not heard that before ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you Sam….gives one something to think about ๐Ÿ˜‰

  56. Sam 267369 says:

    > You say that you attach your SD/SB relationship to a project this is
    > easier and cleaner. What do you consider to be a โ€˜projectโ€™?

    Usually it is a business plan for a profit or non-profit endeavor. Twice it also involved a self-improvement plan, in one case law school and in another case a master degree.

  57. bostonTerrier says:

    OC that is a great idea! It is true my summers will come to an end … this is probably my last one ๐Ÿ™ I am totally taking your advice. Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

  58. Nico says:

    LOL…and the most rewarding. Sounds like you have a full plate too though. ๐Ÿ™‚

  59. NC Gentleman says:

    Hi Nico — still waiting to close on the house, so I haven’t done much. I am trying to move up the closing date, so I can get started. I have been looking at some materials for remodeling, but not much more than that. I also am looking at boats, which is very mind-boggling given all the options on boats.

    I have another business venture that I am trying to get off the ground — that is taking some time, but I am enjoying it so far.

    Stay focused on that house — that is the most fun.

  60. Nico says:

    I too have been working so hard and I am so tired at the end of the day that I don’t recognize the transition from waking to sleeping….LOL.

    I work a M-F job but I also work part time (contract work) for sole practioner litigators for extra money and I’m also taking on some admin work to do from home for a Broker friend who needs the help. Anything to make a few extra bucks to fix up the house. My candle is starting to look like it’s going to meet somewhere in the middle so I may need to back off a bit and just focus on the house;)

    How’s your project coming along? When do you start your remodeling?

  61. NC Gentleman says:

    Hi Nico — good to see you again! I have actually been doing some work lately so blogging less lol

    Boston Terrier — I messaged you Hgirl’s email address.

  62. Nico says:

    Hello Sam ~ I’ve read your response(s) and find them very intriguing. You say that you attach your SD/SB relationship to a project this is easier and cleaner. What do you consider to be a ‘project’?

    I do like the communicating of the expectations though and believe this should be a must regardless of the arrangement. ๐Ÿ™‚

  63. OCSugarBaby says:

    BostonT- I loved my college summers! Being in your junior year, you need to enjoy the freedom that you have. You work your brain so hard during the school year! Take the time for you. I think you should add option E to the list:
    E) Two week trip to a destination of your choice with a girlfriend (this one may be hard to explain to your girlfriend how you came upon the trip). But oh how fun to re-charge and relax before starting your final school year. ๐Ÿ™‚

  64. Sam 267369 says:

    > Have you ever entered an arrangement with a pre-arranged โ€˜end
    > dateโ€™? Would you consider doing this?

    Always. It is easier to extend an agreed-upon date than it is to terminate a relationship where expectations have not been set about duration. Since I attach my SD/SB relationship to a project this is easier and cleaner. Being up front and honest about all expectations is the main benefit of an arrangement to me. Since I expect my SB to change a lot during our relationship (and in fact seek women in that stage of their life) I don’t see an open ended arrangement as being very practical. My SB knowing that the support is temporary and for the purposes of her “stretching her wings” keeps the arrangement focused on her development.

    > Do you think itโ€™s easier to stay in good spirits with a former
    > sugar daddy or sugar baby than it is an ex boyfriend or girlfriend?
    > If so, why?

    Yes for me. I believe it is because the expectations have been set up front. Since my expectation is that an SB goes on to a life of her own, empowered by my assistance but not constrained by it, dependency and emotional misunderstanding both become far less likely. I have excellent relations with all my former SB of this nature and in most cases continue to advise their endeavors from a strictly business point of view.

  65. Nico says:

    Good afternoon everybody…hello NC ~ haven’t seen you for a while ๐Ÿ˜‰

  66. bostonTerrier says:

    oh … my profile number is 234585 Hgirl

  67. bostonTerrier says:

    Thanks you all. I would go home a few weekends a month and my sisters are dying to come to Boston but haven’t since we are all in school. I am definitely going to see how the rest of the semester goes and if all goes well I’ll be working and spending my summer in Boston. Until then i am keeping my options open.


  68. NC Gentleman says:

    Hi All! Hgirl — I just sent your email addy to MISH. I don’t have Boston Terrier’s profile number. If she posts that, I can send her your email addy also.

    I hope everyone is having a great day…. it is 1 pm and I am just having my breakfast bar now lol

  69. SB San Frandiddle says:


    Let me know when they start making clones of you! ๐Ÿ™‚


    Sending my sugar kisses to you.

  70. SB San Frandiddle says:


    I just love your morning welcomes! I had to chime in this morning because I wanted to tell you how much I enjoy and look forward to reading your comments ๐Ÿ˜€

    Sugar Family:

    Good MORNING! It’s so good to see everyone keeping touch on the suga blog. Gotta get to work now, peace out!

  71. lisa says:

    There are 34 buildings here, no main door, Houston apartments are more like garden apartments,not one big building like in New york and so on. My complex covers an entire block,huge place. I wish I lived in a small place

  72. BettieGirlDD*273192 says:

    i mean on the door to your whole building not your door way up on your floor… ugh.

  73. lisa says:

    It is being delivered by office depot local delivery services so they won’t be going to the mailboxes and I doubt they will go to 350 doors looking for a note. I am hoping they will call my phone number if it is even on the invoice (its’ not on the invoce they emailed me though) and then my mom can give them the number). the office will not accept any packages since the fire (liability) and the office people don’t speak english so me going in to talk to them would be useless,they just stare at me.
    I just find it ridiculous that the store won’t correct their own mistake, as my apt number is clearly listed on my acct info but not the confirmation. I also dont’ want to advertise too much that i’m getting a new computer as I don’t want to be burglarized

  74. BettieGirlDD*273192 says:

    Lisa put a note on your appt door or mailbox area for the delivery guy that says like “apt 4G expecting package. thanks”
    Delivery people want to do their job correctly because as soon as their truck is empty they go home!

  75. lisa says:

    I know everything just sucks. Ifmy computer gets delivered to the wrong person I will lose my money, the people that live here are not honest, they’re thieves.
    Anyway I will get off the forum now, got stuff to do. It’s hopeless i’ve lost my money now, someone else will get the computer.

  76. Name (required) says:

    why can’t all the SDs be like suthrnexec and henrilouis and…aaah… ๐Ÿ™‚

  77. MishBocaRatonGrl*252314 says:

    SE – I wasn’t intending on ruining any spirit. It just made me wanna throw rocks at my screen when I saw the format of his emails.

  78. SuthrnExec says:

    Henri, don’t let the little spitfire squelch your spirit – BLOG ON my friend! There is always Advil for the little Mish!

  79. MishBocaRatonGrl*252314 says:

    Lisa, engage yourself dear. There’s nothing we can really advise you of. Sometimes you just have to say “this situation sucks, but there is nothing I can do” and move on with the day.

  80. SuthrnExec says:

    Hgirl, you have mail. ๐Ÿ™‚

  81. Name (required) says:


    A, B and C…love it!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    D…mmm… ๐Ÿ™ they say…

    the closer you are, the further you stay apart!


  82. ~*kittylainy*279647*~ says:

    Hgirl: I think NC sent u an e-mail a while ago for an invite to somewhere… check it out.. it is an extension of a sugar family ๐Ÿ™‚ Great support network there

  83. lisa says:

    Gonna go now, looks like i’m not part of the conversation this morning. Needed to vent about my computer problem. I mean the stupid store won’t even add my apartment number and says that when they deliver it to me, to refuse it and reorder, duh, if they manage to deliver it to me without an apartment number in a complex of 350 apartments, I don’t have a problem, problem is I won’t get it. Office depot sucks

  84. MishBocaRatonGrl*252314 says:

    Kitty – I’ll get onto my email now, I might have to hunt you down in my inbox…

    uno momento preciousa

  85. MishBocaRatonGrl*252314 says:

    Hgirl- sure, they both have it…

    The blog seems a bit slow today… Where’s everyone at?

  86. ~*kittylainy*279647*~ says:

    Mish: hey! shoot me an e-mail if u still have it. I wanna send you an invite to somewhere FUN ๐Ÿ™‚

  87. Hgirl says:

    Mish- I may take you up on that. Maybe NC or Suthrn can give me your email or visa versa.

  88. Natty*296451 says:

    Hgirl-my friends are quite liberal and being on SA isn’t the worst of crazy shenanigans I’ve done. They are used to this type of thing with me. Figure its a fad.

    Mish-Thanks for the advice (again) definitely will take things slow and not jump into a situation.

    I know I live far away but any girl on here can always message me if they don’t feel like they can confide in a friend in there town. We all have different reasons and different situations for being here. So no “hater-ade” I think that’s the American expression.

  89. HenriLouis*294522 says:

    Hi MishBoca,
    Sorry about you headache and thanks for the spit.
    No more messages then.
    Have a great day !

  90. Hgirl says:

    Yes, anyone who will be my SD must understand and appreciate the fact that I am feisty and intelligent. Any man for whom that is an issue will not be a good match for me in any case. I would love to tell a close friend but especially being at an ivy league, people are such straight arrows. I’ve hinted that I might like dating older men and even that has been met with some disgust. It’s like they think that there is one right path and anyone who deviates is wrongheaded. I know that is not the case but it means that I can’t tell anyone what I am doing.

  91. MishBocaRatonGrl*252314 says:

    Hgirl – P.S. Where do you live sweety? Take one of us girlies from the blog & exchange numbers. Call before a meet, text when you’ve arrived. & call when you’ve gotten home safely. And give that Sugar babe, an emergency contact to call if you’ve turned M.I.A.

  92. MishBocaRatonGrl*252314 says:

    Hgirl – You’d be surprised with how understanding some people can be, I’ve been quite honest with a few in my life. Though, my family has no clue… I’ve told 3 girls, and a few of the men I’m friends with. Safer with someone knowing , and slightly judging then for them to have no clue, God forbid something does come up.

    And, as far as… the drama free. Yes, a lot do expect us to be droids. Luckily my “daddy” (hehe) understands, I’m a spit fire. He knows what I will, and will not accept. And I do the same for him. We both are fairly open. I deeply care for him, though I do not see myself as the rescuer of his failed marriage, and he does not see himself as my knight in a shinning rolls royce.

    I told my SD the night we decided to make an arrangement. “I don’t want to be treated like an object”… he replied, “But, darling you are… of my adoration and affection”…

  93. Hgirl says:

    I really wish I had a friend on SA. What you say is 100% true Mish. I think that’s why I haven’t agreed to meet anybody. I have no idea how to make it safe while not telling anybody what I am doing! I wish some of you girls lived near me ๐Ÿ™

  94. Hgirl says:

    Natty- I am so jealous that you have a friend on SA! All my friends would think I were crazy if they knew.

    Mish- Amen. I love how people think that SD/SB = drama free. We are humans, not droids and thus have emotions even if we are able to keep them in check. I think that the SD/SB thing is more about managing expectations and being upfront about your needs which really appeals to me.

  95. MishBocaRatonGrl*252314 says:

    Natty – Always keep close tabs with your female friend. Starting out I did the same. I’ve made a mistake or two and ended up in some scary situations. Almost raped once, and I had to defend myself physically. Always, let someone know the info of where you will be, and whom you’ll be with. My best advice would be to take it slow. Get to know the person, gain mutual respect. And then comes a great arrangement.

    I spoke to my Sugar Daddy from, October, until just a few weeks ago . Until something was set in stone. We now know each other, quite well. History, Present, Future. And a strong mutual respect and understanding. I think it’s worth it, to wait…

  96. lisa says:

    argh! my day is getting off to a bad start. just got confirmation for my new computer and they have left off my aparment number. it says apt apt instead. I have my entired adress in my account info too. I contacted them and they said they can’t change the order and that I need to refuse the order when it is delivered (how will I do that if it isn’t even delivered to me because of lack of apt number) and place a new order. I sent them a nasty email back demanding better service as they are the ones that screwed up. I have already made plans to have my parents to be at home when it comes and I can’t just keep doing that. I am really p****

  97. Natty*296451 says:

    Well said Mish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have enjoyed reading the responses tremendously as they are a big help to me in this process. Got my friend to join SA as well, so hopefully the two of us can find some SDs. This process is much easier with this blog and now knowing I have a friend involved that I can confide in.

  98. MishBocaRatonGrl*252314 says:

    Ideally, would there even be a need to โ€˜break-upโ€™ with a sugar daddy or sugar baby?

    I think ideally, there would be a break-up. In my case anyways. My… SD is, 48, I’m… 19. It’s not a “forever” thing in my eye’s. He understands, though we are planning on it lasting a bit of time.

    Do you think itโ€™s easier to stay in good spirits with a former sugar daddy or sugar baby than it is an ex boyfriend or girfriend? If so, why?

    I think it should be, depending on the reasoning of the break up. If it’s mutual and respected, I can’t see why we couldn’t remain some sort of friends. But, then again the nature of your arrangement has to be factored in, was he a friend as well as an SD? or…so on

    Have you ever entered an arrangement with a pre-arranged โ€˜end dateโ€™? Would you consider doing this?

    I don’t like knowing the absolute destination, because… relationship plans never quite work out in that sort of way. I can’t say, the day I graduate is the day I hit the road, or… anything of that sort. I like it to be open.

    Does sugar dating appeal to you in part because of the absence of drama often found in traditional dating/relationships?

    There is drama , though that also depends on the nature. We are all still human, though there is less drama. You’re bound to have some sort of altercation. Well. With my “I’m letting you know how I feel” approach. I’m bound to atleast *smiles sweetly*

  99. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. Slept late and have just placed an order for my new computer. Toe still hurting.
    I think breaking up with a sd wouldn’t be much different than breaking up with anyone. In today’s world of disposible relationships it seems people are too casual to break up for anything. I have had a wonderful relationship only to have the guy just say he couldn’t see me anymore, just like that, gone. I had one sd that was shortlived, he moved away but we did keep in touch for a little while so he didn’t just drop me and disappear. I expect nothing lasting from anyone in today’s world and have found no more security in a regular relationship or marriage so I look at it as a temporary thing anyway, enjoy it as long as it lasts.

  100. Hgirl says:

    Bostonterrier- it really depends. Maybe he can pay for you to go home every so often. Maybe you can split up your summer (May/June in Maryland), (July/Aug) in Boston. If you do stay in Boston, though, we should really meet up. Is NC around? Can someone give her my email? Also, I wouldn’t work for him because first of all it’s unethical for him to employ his SB and second of all, I’m sure you take work seriously (you seem like a smart girl) and you should work somewhere where you’re hired for your brains. Just my 2 cents.

  101. Guaranabana says:

    Hello! Interesting blog topic, too bad I can’t say much about it, being that I’m also new to the whole scene. I share Name (required)’s frustration in receiving no return messages. I think at that point, it’s simpler to step back and write it off. It takes two to tango!

    On a side note. Gooood morning. I’m never up in the morning, lol.

  102. Natty*296451 says:

    Boston Terrier,

    Wow the (current) SD of yours sounds like he’s got an adventure waiting. However if your heart is set on returning home than maybe perhaps working out a deal with your SD to travel to see him once/twice per month and maybe a little less of the perks. Or vice versa, visit your family/friends/hometown once/twice per month. Whatever is the best option for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  103. HenriLouis*294522 says:

    Hi Terrier,
    You adore him.
    What better way to spend the summer, than with him.
    Maryland will still be there at the end of summer.
    Hold on to him like a terrier.
    LA sounds nice, must be a unique chance.
    You might make some contacts valuable for your future career.
    But seasonal employment, I don’t know.
    Sex and the city, o.k.
    Sex in the office. Too complicated.
    Other people working there will not make you feel welcome.
    Logical from their point of view, how to behave towards the boss’s girlfriend ?
    But you are fortunate to have such an SD.
    I am happy for you.

  104. SuthrnExec says:

    Boston, do you mind if I chime in with a practical perspective from a SD? Is this an all or nothing proposal? Clearly, I don’t know all the details as you do, but some things to “noodle” on – the employment option seems to be the most risky – other people in firm finding out, preferential treatment resented by others, etc. The other options are up to you – they don’t seem to out-of-the-ordinary for the arrangement. Don’t do anything that might cause resentment on your part toward him, i.e., you were really counting on going back home to Maryland for the summer. If you feel like you’re pressured to stay in Boston for him, this might damage the relationship.

    Take your time thinking it through. Maybe take a “let’s see how things go over the next couple of months” approach.

    That’s my 2 cents.

  105. Nico says:

    Wow Boston….is he offering the above in addition to what you two already have? This would be only if you stayed in Boston? Regardless of how you spin it, you have a very generous SD and a fortunate situation, yet difficult.

  106. bostonTerrier says:

    hi all – just a quick question about advice. recently my sd and i have been talking about summer and this came up …

    “A/weekly agreed upon stipend B/your choice of perks-leased luxury vehicle, store (your choice) charge account C./ travel with me to L.A. to attend client parties (meet the stars!) D, employment (seasonal) at my firm with a full benefits package.”

    fellow sbs – would you take the offer, knowing you already adore your sd? i ask because it would mean remaining in boston for the duration of my summer as opposed to returning home to maryland.

    as for the blog topic –

    i broke up with a past sd and we haven’t spoken sense. when “love” feelings get involved it isn’t easy and i felt way too guilty considering he was married [towards he end he told me that he loved me]. i was dating someone while i had him as a sb but his feelings complicated things as he grew jealous and that is something which does not belong in an arrangement.

    i don’t think there has to be a pre-set ending for an arrangement – people change as arrangements go on so it is only natural for the arrangement to change accordingly.

  107. SuthrnExec says:

    Oh, and Howdy Nico!

  108. SuthrnExec says:

    Name, even though it is a numbers game, don’t look at it that way or you will get discouraged. It only takes one genuine SD that you connect with for you to be successful, so don’t lose heart. Also, hanging out here on the blog has it’s advantages – you’ll learn a lot, have a lot of fun and I have heard that sometimes there are connections made between SB/SD here on the blog! ๐Ÿ™‚

  109. Nico says:

    Good morning SE and “Name (required)”. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Don’t get discouraged….while yes, it would see like good manners to respond, it’s an unwritten rule not often adhered to. Be patient and don’t focus on read or unread emails. Go with the flow and remain open minded to possibilities.

    If you ask the gentlemen on the blog, they’ll likely preview your profile to see how it reads from the SD’s perspective….

  110. SuthrnExec says:

    Oops – one edit in my response above. It should be: “Just as a relationship cannot really take root and grow without communication, it cannot end withOUT it either…”

    But I’m sure everyone is clever enough to figure out what i was saying!

    Angie, hopefully you have some idea of the type of arrangement the SD is looking for based on his profile – if not maybe based on conversations you’ve had already whether via phone or email. But even if you haven’t, I much prefer to meet the first time and see how the chemistry is between us. I think once you feel at ease enough to talk about the arrangement and what it will “look like”, that’s a sign the chemistry is there. If you never feel comfortable bringing it up (except for maybe being a little nervous), that might be a signal that it’s not the right situation for you. For me, it’s first about the chemistry – if that’s not there, it’s not gonna work for me.

    Good luck!

  111. SuthrnExec says:

    Good morning Henri – you seem to be in good form and “on your game” today! SincereSD, good to see you as well.

    Good morning Ladies! You all seem to be chipper this morning.

    Ok, now to the questions:

    > Ideally, would there even be a need to โ€˜break-upโ€™ with a sugar daddy or sugar baby?

    Sure, there could be a need to โ€œbreak-upโ€ or end the relationship. Any kind of relationship can reach a point where the relationship needs to end. Certainly, no matter the relationship, clear, open communication is the way to do it. Just as a relationship cannot really take root and grow without communication, it cannot end with it either โ€“ at least end in a satisfactory way.

    > Do you think itโ€™s easier to stay in good spirits with a former sugar daddy or sugar baby than it is an ex boyfriend or girfriend? If so, why?

    I think it probably would, but the relationship is built upon the chemistry between the two individuals and so that is at the core โ€“ just as every individual is different, the chemistry between two individuals is unique and I think that ultimately determines how best to part when the time comes.

    > Have you ever entered an arrangement with a pre-arranged โ€˜end dateโ€™? Would you consider doing this?

    Never have and Iโ€™m not sure I would. I cannot think of a situation that I would be in where this would be something that I would consider as the way to go.

    > Does sugar dating appeal to you in part because of the absence of drama often found in traditional dating/relationships?

    Yes, thatโ€™s a part of it, but only a part.

  112. Name (required) says:


    i was feeling…that…it’s so hard to find a SD…! Out of 15 messages read…i only received 1 reply…i remember reading…here…
    i can’t believe how they can…read and ignore the message…at least a “thank you but no thank you!” you know?…


  113. Natty*296451 says:

    Hi Angie,

    I’ve been in the situation before as far as when is it/when is it not a good time to discuss the schematics of the arrangement part. I know these ladies and gentleman have given great advice and so thought I’d participate as well. I prefer that we just get to know each other over a drink in a pub, then if we get on from the conventional standpoint (meaning that first time, we don’t discuss the arrangement, just enjoy each other’s company over a drink) then we discuss the arrangement component on a more formal meeting (i.e. dinner) and go from there……….. And whoever told you they were heavy, that’s just rubbish.

  114. HenriLouis*294522 says:

    Hello Angie,
    Just inspect the guy first that you have a date with.
    Within seconds you know if you feel compatible with him.
    This is how the human mind works.
    Just sit down at home and write a short list.
    Write down how much assitance you wish to receive.
    Write down how much time you have available in a month.
    Just as an example, every other week-end.
    But first eek him out.
    You are a woman and if you wish so, every man is like wax in your warm hands. Be diplomatic and ask him after his time-table.
    Then be the first to introduce the amount of assitance you have written down for yourself. This is your line and you do not waver.
    It is just like in business the party who lays the cards on the tabls has the upperhand.
    Don’t ask him to mention an amount.
    Have a look at his profile, there you see an indiction of his budget.
    Use that as a measure.
    Great would be your line:
    “in your profile you say that your budget is $ 20.000 a month. This sounds quite acceptable to me”.
    Go for it girl !
    Take a deep breath, walk in, hold you head high and respect yourself.
    I wish you lots of success.
    We are all right behind you,

  115. ~*kittylainy*279647*~ says:

    Angie: I must say that some SD prefers a SB be upfront in what she wants, others would think that if you brinig it up, it seems as if that’s all you’re after. So it really depends on the SD. (on a side note, I also noticed that if a SD brings up $ too soon imany SD seems to think he’s lookiing for escort, and if he isn’t upfront SB might think he’s cheap) I personally do not like to bring up what I am looking for on the first date, because the first date is looking for connection first and foremost. It is a topic that is gtood to bring up as a follow-up to the date. To thank him for the date and express your interest in an arrangement.

  116. ~*kittylainy*279647*~ says:

    Good morning fellow Sugars. It’s a new day, much too early for me, I was up late trying to make sure my sugar family member is doing ok. *sigh* ok.. onto today’s topic:

    Ideally, would there even be a need to โ€˜break-upโ€™ with a sugar daddy or sugar baby?
    ~ Definition, if the connection is gone, or there is an unresolvable issue with a friendship, it will be ended right? It just seems immature and cruel to simply cut all contact with the other person without giving any closure. Like SincereSD said, some SBs rely on the arrangement for income, even at a job, there is a 2 weeks severance pay.

    Do you think itโ€™s easier to stay in good spirits with a former sugar daddy or sugar baby than it is an ex boyfriend or girfriend? If so, why?
    Like all relationships, it really depends on the reason for the separation. But in a sb/sd relationship there would be no issue of asset divident. In a non-exclusive relationship, iot would not be because of jealousy or “cheating” which is the reason for a lot of relationship failures.

    Have you ever entered an arrangement with a pre-arranged โ€˜end dateโ€™? Would you consider doing this?
    I w told once by a SD that he haven’t been in any form of relationship for more than 3 months. So I would not expect to exceed that time frame.

    Does sugar dating appeal to you in part because of the absence of drama often found in traditional dating/relationships?
    Of course, that’s one of the #1 requests from SD/SB alike, DRAMA free ๐Ÿ™‚

  117. Nico says:

    Good morning Angie….I’ll say it….sometimes men can be mean (but we can be too) some people lack mouth filters. That should not reflect on the site at all, only that individual’s lack of class.

    Wear something that makes you ‘feel’ sexy and nobody can knock you down ๐Ÿ™‚

    As for how to bring up the arrangement….that’s always a unique one. First and foremost, know what you’re looking for (i.e. how much time you’re able to spend with them, what you’re looking for in terms of assistance etc.). I have found the topic typically presents about 1/3 of the way through the date anyway ~ I prefer to discuss it and quickly move on.

    Gordon, in a previous thread, mentioned he likes to meet his pots, go shopping and spend a non-committal first date together. The second date he’ll take them to a non-threatening meeting area and begin negotiating (probably not a fully fair representation of ‘how’ he does it but certainly provides a different view point). I have had pots ask me my number up front.

    Each situation is different and perhaps other will chime in this morning too before your date. GOOD LUCK and circle back…let us know how it went ๐Ÿ™‚

  118. Nico says:

    Gooooood Morning Natty, SincereSD and Angie….WELCOME!! I’ll act as the welcoming committee this morning as it seems it’s a slow board thusfar. Good Morning Henri and SweetRed ๐Ÿ™‚

    SincereSD ~ I must agree with you on the majority of your responses. As it relates to the differences between a SD/SB and a more traditional type of relationship, oddly I have found it is typically the gentlemen that have a hard time separating the emotion out of the situation ~ perhaps it’s the ‘type’ of guy I would typically lean toward?

    I love my life the way it is, a SD could only prove to enhance what I already have (and not just in a monetary sense). I am not ready to spend every waking moment with somebody and am certainly not ready to have somebody at my house (aka sanctuary) all the time. I think the SD/SB relationship is ideal for me.

    Now only if I could find that ever elusive ideal chemical connection…………

  119. angie says:

    hi everyone!
    What an exciting concept! I’m new to the sd/sb dating and need some advice.
    I have a date tomorrow and am wondering how to you bring up the ‘arrangement’? Is it best to be absolutely honest.. even if its a bit cold? I don’t know I’m so nervous…. already been told I’m too “heavy” and that hurt! I don’t think I’m too heavy! Anyway, any advice would be wonderful. Hope everyone has a fabulous Tuesday. ๐Ÿ™‚

  120. sweetredhead....269443..... says:

    Good morning all ( I hate my alarm clock!!)

    I think With an SD/SB relationship you started out as friends. Two people who have chemistry and a common ground. Respect for each other. If you need to end it for any reason, I think you should should always end the way you began…as friends.

    My brain is not awake so that’s all I have to say at this moment lol. I will get back to this later.

    Have a good say everyone, time for me to get ready for work.

  121. SincereSD says:

    To answer the questions on this blog:

    Ideally, would there even be a need to โ€˜break-upโ€™ with a sugar daddy or sugar baby?

    Yes, I can think of several examples. The most prevalent would be in relationships where a SB is heavily dependent on support from her SD to meet her financial commitments. Stopping support unexpectedly would result in dire consequences for the SB and be inhumane.

    Do you think itโ€™s easier to stay in good spirits with a former sugar daddy or sugar baby than it is an ex boyfriend or girlfriend? If so, why?

    Like all relationships, I think it depends on the people involved and the quality of the relationship. Society still frowns on sugar dating and that impacts how women feel about their SD. Some women enter the SD world through necessity and would rather forget that chapter of their life while others cherish friendship, treatment and mentoring received from their SD.

    As for myself, I have been in both sweet and sour sugar relationships. I do not keep in touch with those that ended badly or were disrespectful (e.g. where I was being treated as a walking wallet). That said, I was recently contacted by a former SB apologizing for how she treated me while we were together and she now realizes how good I was to her. Needless to say, I didn’t fall for it and realized that there may be some truth to the cliche that karma can be a real b*tch.

    Have you ever entered an arrangement with a pre-arranged โ€˜end dateโ€™? Would you consider doing this?

    Not really since I prefer longer term relationships. However, it ended working that way when I was involved with a foreign exchange student. The relationship ended when she finished her second semester and returned to her home country.

    Does sugar dating appeal to you in part because of the absence of drama often found in traditional dating/relationships?

    Yes, I prefer sugar relationships because I am not looking for the emotional involvement or time commitment expected in traditional relationships. However, I have found that sugar dating is not free of drama as most people would think. Sugar drama can result from insecurity (and lack of trust) as well as, unwanted emotional attachment (falling in love).

  122. Natty*296451 says:

    Good morning Sugar People,

    this blog topic is quite interesting so I’ll answer the questions simply:

    Ideally, would there even be a need to โ€˜break-upโ€™ with a sugar daddy or sugar baby?

    * I think it depends on the degree of the situation. Obviously if you’re paying someone’s rent or bills, and then the arrangement terminates obviously you’d want to say something and give this person the opportunity to sort themselves out. But if it’s just a casual thing, I guess no harm in it dissolving………….

    Do you think itโ€™s easier to stay in good spirits with a former sugar daddy or sugar baby than it is an ex boyfriend or girfriend? If so, why?

    *I think an occasional coffee or email wouldn’t hurt if the two people became quite close, but it depends on if both people are mature enough to handle that. Normally, I just wash my hands of the situation and wish someone the best.

    Have you ever entered an arrangement with a pre-arranged โ€˜end dateโ€™? Would you consider doing this?

    *I think I go into the arrangement knowing it’s not permanent. That either one of us can walk away anytime of our volition.

    Does sugar dating appeal to you in part because of the absence of drama often found in traditional dating/relationships?

    *Yes. I enjoy the fact that it’s just something fun, mutual, low key, and I don’t have the hassle of calling someone or checking in or worrying about how my lifestyle fits in with this persons…….the freedom is lovely that the situation brings while enjoying good company and all that goes with it.

    Now if only I can find the right guy!!!!!!!!! LOL

    Cheers and have a wonderful day, you ladies and gents are fascinating

    x Nat

  123. HenriLouis*294522 says:

    Good morning everyone,
    Just to make sure I also place my welcome message here.
    I hope for a lively conversation on this new topic.
    Although I have not had any experince in the seeking arrangement, I know myself and it will hurt.
    You see “partir c’est un peux mourir”.
    To part from each other is a bit like dying.
    Yes, it is true, the element of love is not specifically a part of the SD/SB relationship, although …………..
    But as I said, I know myself. I can’t help getting emotionally involved.
    Love has many faces, there is love for music, love for animals, love for sports, love for fly-fishing and in the matter of this notion LOVE, I also have my fetish.
    The great love in my life is to play flamenco guitar.
    Anything important to me I give a name, it is personalized.
    It takes on a personallity of its own. My guitar – by the way a rare Hermanos Conde – is called La Paquera, after my idol La Paquera de Jerez, to me the most fascinating flamenco cantaora (female singer).
    Sometimes she is not amused and lets me know. The sound of the guitar is all wrong and I have to try and adjust the strings to get the correct tone and have her sound harmonious.
    Now you know that I will have love in my heart for my SB, sure, why not.
    We will be compatible, we will have a wonderful time, I will invest in this.
    The French have this great notion “le qualite’ de la vie”.
    When she comes into my life it will be part of our quality of living.
    Of course I know this not going to be forever. Nothing in life is forever.
    It is like in the song:
    Everything will change,
    You and I,
    Even the sun in the sky.
    Everything must change.
    Change is part of the walk of life. I have learnt to welcome change and not be afraid. So why should I be afraid of the end of our affair.
    It is inherent with the start of our relationship and I cannot treat it casual.
    Now I am going to tell you about the CIRCLE OF LOVE.
    We all stand in a circle and something goes round from hand to hand.
    Not quickly moving around, no sometimes it stays for a long time with one of the persons in the circle, it might even look she/he will not pass it on.
    What is this thing then that goes round ?
    It is Love ! We stand in the Circle of Love.
    One day it will come your way and you will have it in your hands.
    You know you are now allowed to keep it forever, you must pass it on the the person standing next to you.
    The majority of people do not understand.
    After they have passed it on, they get awake so to speak and look back and say, at that moment in my life I was happy, in a state of bliss.
    I had Love in my life.
    Then they suffer this total collapse and sometimes fall into a deep self pity.
    But, please family, I beseech you, there is no need for it.
    The great understanding about the mystery of life is to realize that we still stand in the Circle of Love.
    This unexplicable thing still goes round.
    One day you will hold it in your hands again !
    Be aware, savour the moment.
    Realize that this is again a highlight in your life.
    Open your hands and look at it. Yes there is magic in the moment.
    You have LOVE in your life. Enjoy every second.
    Yes I will suffer when we separate, I know myself.
    On the other hand I know that one day it will come again, because I stand in the Circle of Love.
    To end with the words of Khalil Gibran
    If you love her
    Let her go.
    For if she returns,
    She was always yours.
    And if she does not,
    She never was.
    Thanks for sharing this,