10 years ago
Steps to Sugar Dating Success



Practical Matters

There are tons of options available for Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies seeking arrangements in the sugar bowl. With all of the choices available for sugars on both ends, it’s wise to consult fellow members of the sugar family for support, as well as looking within yourself to fine-tune your true wants and needs.

Here are some of the many questions we may ask ourselves throughout our sugar journey…

“What’s a good place for a first date? Who should bring up the money question? How should you go about negotiating finances? For tax purposes, is cash better than check or paypal or credit? How/when do you talk about your sexual expectations? Sex before financial benefits, or only after? Should you go get tested together? Should you make plans in advance about what to do if the SB becomes pregnant? What are the best ways to give each other the space you desire? What are appropriate gifts for an SB to get for her SD? Do you have certain personal techniques for remaining emotionally detached? What do you talk about (or not talk about) with a person who is significantly older than you? Do you treat it like a business deal, a relationship, or both?” – Maverisk

Leave a Reply

336 Responses to “Steps to Sugar Dating Success”

  1. sunnykisses80 says:

    Hey everybody,

    I’m new to this whole SB/SD thing, I have done some searching around and found quite a few of my answers in most of the blogs but the do’s and don’ts are something I’m not quite 100% sure about yet. Could you please have a look at my profile (370891) and tell me your honest opinion of it. What I should keep/get rid of. Thank you. Like I said before this is all so new to me. And if anyone has any advice for me that would be wonderful as well.
    Thank you in advance for all your help and wish everyone well in their search.

  2. niceinred77 says:

    Hi to all sugars
    I very late to the sugar blog scene so forgive any silly/stupid questions first of all. VEry informative comments on both sb/sd sides keep it up. I joined SA couple months ago on but took a hiatus due to no success(no answers) or pseudo success(thanks but no thanks) but I came back at first you dont succeed, try try again I suppose. I hear the term pot SD’s alot and was curious as to what that meant. And I know I’m doing something wrong so a couple a points if nobody would mind on the common mistakes a novice sb makes from sd cause maybe I’m making them.

    Stay sweet everybody

  3. Rachel Mayers says:

    LOL, nice post but I really don’t understand how the hell did you got all these assumptions?

  4. diva4u says:

    Hi, so I’m also new to this whole SD-SB thing. I have a lunch date with a pot tomorrow and so reading these blogs have been pretty helpful. As many have said, the whole financial thing is uncomfortable to talk about and so I’m a bit nervous of if he brings that conversation up tomor cause I really dont know how much is too much to ask for? He has already said he’s willing to give monthly allowance.

  5. 1totalpackage4u says:

    Wow Ladies & Gents, this took awhile to read all of your comments, but I learned alot! I am brand new to the site, so having some concerns on personal safety & confidentiality of names, address, numbers, etc. I tend to attract the freaks. With that being said, what are some ways to get in contact, without giving out to much info? How about getting traveling expenses to you? Personally I would want them up front, so I could make sure I wasn’t burned. I live a good distance from anything and would have to drive or fly no matter where I go! Any tips suggestions other than all the one’s on public places, etc. I mean I don’t want them to know what vehicle I drive & get my plates, then look me up, be standing at my front door one day! lol
    Is it common to have more than 1 SD?
    I just get the feeling I could be playing with fire, on this site:)! lol
    Check out my profile and let me know what you all think as well..sound stupid, to wordy, etc. THANKS ALL! Later!

  6. Victoria prof. no. 302242 says:

    What’s a good place for a first date?
    –Somewhere public and not too loud, like a coffee shop or bookstore.
    Who should bring up the money question?
    –It should probably be discussed before hand, and brought up by whomever feels the most comfortable bringing it up.
    For tax purposes, is cash better than check or paypal or credit?
    –Cash works better, in my opinion.
    How/when do you talk about your sexual expectations?
    –I’d want to discuss things after at least the 2nd-3rd date/meeting.
    Sex before financial benefits, or only after?
    –Depends on the chemistry, I think.
    Should you go get tested together?
    –It would be the responsible thing to do, and you know you’re both honest.
    Should you make plans in advance about what to do if the SB becomes pregnant?
    –Would also be responsible.
    What are appropriate gifts for an SB to get for her SD?
    –Lingerie (for her to wear), jewelry, things he/she can afford but are still sweet/thoughtful
    Do you have certain personal techniques for remaining emotionally detached?
    –Keep in mind what the arrangement is…if need be, keep a spreadsheet to make it seem more like business than a relationship.
    What do you talk about (or not talk about) with a person who is significantly older than you?
    –DON’T talk about how cute Taylor Swift’s dress is or how weird your mom is cause she’s so from a different time…possibly the SD’s time…
    Do you treat it like a business deal, a relationship, or both?
    –Both would work for me.

    Also, it’d be pretty nice if a pot SD actually engages in conversation. Like starting things up with pot SBs and then just dropping off of the face of the earth is probably not the best way to do things. If you find that a SB’s not what you’re looking for, be courteous and let him/her know. It’s the least you can do, instead of letting the SB wait so many days for an email that will never come.

    I’m (very) new to this, but I’d think common courtesy should be a given.

  7. Tiffanie says:

    I’ve never been a SB before. I really want a SD… I heard a few SB’s that said they don’t ever have to meet their SD’s in person and they still get spoiled. I am very interested in this, I only want e-mail, IM, webcam, phone relationship with a SD… Is this really something SD’s go for?? …or were they lying through their teeth?

  8. dinah says:

    what website are you all from?

  9. Adam says:

    Ladies and gentlemen i am new to this game met my first SB through a web site where she advertised met for coffee and discussed financial arrangements and expectations dont mess around you are there for something and so is he discuss what you want openly and honestly we have had our issues about exclusivity but are working through them it has to be great for both parties or it will never work in this pond there are plenty of fish and plenty of big boats if you get my drift dont kid yourself if you think either one is not looking for something better after a given period of time this is not a marriage but still needs to be respected and open. Ladies and gents we never own another human and once you can handle this enjoy every moment you spend together as it could be your last.
    My honey has a car a unit on the water and 10k per month as a base she gets extra for shopping trips and she looks after me in return and i have no complaints but i know its not forever hopefully only a lifetime but you never know. best of luck guys and gals im enjoying the moment and hope you are to

  10. princess922 says:

    Please someone help…..Going on my first meeting and I need some help

  11. princess922 says:

    Please someone help…..Going on my first meeting and I need some help

  12. OCSugarBaby says:

    Charlie girl: Nice to see that I have *some* wisdom to share. Hate to be right about this one, but the mass email thing happens. Hang in there.

  13. charlie girl says:

    meaning to say, he sent me the same one liner….

  14. charlie girl says:

    “OCSugarBaby Says: Also, some, not all send out mass emails or one line’er to many SB’s to see who bites.”

    This is exactly what happened! I just received another message from he yesterday and it was the same message LOL….

  15. Nika/WildCat/302039 says:

    Well Young&Fabulous.

    Like I said the best way in the world to at least get proof of who the guy really is, is having the guy take a picture with your name on a piece of paper in front of them. There is one site I go to where a lot of the profiles are “shrill” or fake profiles, and they are obvious fakes.

    Also was told another means to for the guys to show about that they are what they are. Is to show you a copy of their bank statements. It’s a form of protection for yourself. And if he’s real he shouldn’t mind, both the statements and the pictures.

  16. Young&Fabulous!!! says:

    Well a pot sd turned out to be…..a dud! We exchanged emails but when he sent me a couple of pictures they looked nothing like he did on his profile & he sure in hell wasn’t 29 or so. *l0l* Then another guy which he seemed very attractive on his profile sent me a couple of pics but they seemed all too fake. So i asked if he would send a pic with a piece of paper in front of him saying it was really him. Big disappointment….but i’ll get over it. =)

  17. Young&Fabulous!!! says:

    I was reading alot of the blogs last night. I don’t really have time to tonight but I definitely will tomorrow. Hoping to learn how to weed out the fakes from the honest. Will the real sugar daddies please stand up?!? *l0l*

  18. Nika says:

    1)What’s a good place for a first date?

    Honestly to my personal opinion, the first date should be something that will make the potentional baby WOW. This is as much about letting the baby know about what could be in her future as much as having a good time. Dinner and a movie are nice but as someone mentioned above a picnic and a hot air balloon ride is more romantic and will capture the attention of the baby a little more. Having her picked up in a limo to some secret location, maybe find out before her size of a dress or clothing and have a hint in the car waiting along with the change of clothes, and do a surprise for her.

    2)Who should bring up the money question?

    This could go either and or. But both already have brought up the question initially on their profiles here. At the first meeting it should be discussed about what the daddy will be willing to provide and how much the baby needs to make sure she IS available without any discomforts for her daddy whenever he wishes to spend time with her.

    3)How should you go about negotiating finances?

    Set about what you as the baby know you will need for your finances and remember what the daddy has put on his profile on what he’s willing to help with. If not also discuss a bit beforehand see what they are willing to go with and find a happy middle ground to it. So that you are taken care of and so he’s happy with what he’s offering as well.

    4)For tax purposes, is cash better than check or paypal or credit?

    I would suggest two out of four of the ones that are suggested and check and paypal aren’t those two. Cash is a good way to go about it but another means would be to set up a prepaid credit card although many do have limits on how much you can deposit onto the cards in total, or at one time. But still the cards and the cash are the two best means to make sure that you get your allowance, and have easy access to it.

    5)How/when do you talk about your sexual expectations? Sex before financial benefits, or only after?

    I would honestly speak about this beforehand yet any sexual actions themselves wouldn’t occur until after some form of financial benefits are given, whether the full amount or a weekly allotment of the promised allowance.

    6)Should you go get tested together?

    I think that it is kind of tacky to go together so while I agree that you should get tested if that makes you both feel more comfortable, you should go separately for the testing itself.

    7)Should you make plans in advance about what to do if the SB becomes pregnant?

    I’m personally fixed in every way shape and form from pregnancy. But yes I do believe that plans should be made in advance just in case. Also that the baby should make sure that their baby is on some form of birth control and double up with protection themselves unless they are seeking a more permanent relationship.

    8)What are the best ways to give each other the space you desire?

    Maybe setting up a code word or something of the like to let your daddy or your baby know that you need some space, need sometime without the other. Have this set up from the very beginning that way that the other in the relationship will understand and they wont be possibly hurt by sudden silences or distance.

    9)What are appropriate gifts for an SB to get for her SD?

    I would think things such as ties, watches, shoot maybe the baby dressed up in only a teddy and a western style overcoat? But things that are simple and something that comes from the baby’s own heart.

    10)Do you have certain personal techniques for remaining emotionally detached?

    This I honestly wouldn’t know. Things happen as they happen but when you go into a relationship such as a sb/sd relationship you can look at it a bit easier as a business deal unless it is mentioned from the beginning that there might be possibly more.

    11)What do you talk about (or not talk about) with a person who is significantly older than you?

    I would highly suggest while they might be older or younger. A good thing not to bring up would be ex lovers unless it is a significant relationship such as a marriage.

    And I’m sure you can talk about just almost anything with someone that is older than you.

    12)Do you treat it like a business deal, a relationship, or both?”

    I would treat it as both a business deal and a relationship, and should the daddy in question wish for it to be more than just a business deal then discuss with them at the very beginning.

  19. OCSugarBaby says:

    Young&Fabulous!!!- My advice is to take the time to read thur the old blog topics. Ton of good info in there. Not that we don’t want to offer adice, but you need to gain some solid footing first. We can’t help you there. Confidence, confidence, confidence…

  20. Young&Fabulous!!! says:

    & he was just showing me. I’m still on the fence cause I don’t want to end up in a bad situation. I mean of course I will always have some sort of protection on me to get out of a bad situation but sometimes people aren’t what they seem. Ya know?

  21. Young&Fabulous!!! says:

    Well, I sent him a message back & I said “Is that supposed to entice me? Sorry if that sounds rude but fancy things don’t impress me” & he sent a message back & said “It’s not fancy things, but making sure you look amazing”. I believe he’s some weirdo *l0l* Idk?

  22. Mina says:

    ** Edit: How he/YOU are in real life**

  23. Mina says:

    Is he buying it for you or just showing you? Big difference.
    An SD won’t pay your allowance in an initial meeting because, well, you’re meeting for the first time. He may however bring along a gift (small jewelry) to show he is serious, but I think that’s up to him and is tacky for the SB to ask/mention it beforehand. Remember that his and yours virtual personas can be very different than how he/how really are in real life and face to face, so meeting in person for lunch or an espresso (NOT a hotel, some will suggest this) is best before taking things to the next level.

  24. Young&Fabulous!!! says:

    I know but doesn’t that just sound a little weird. Just wanted someones opinion before I sent him a message back.

  25. Mina says:

    Goodness, just figure it out for yourself as things come along, lol. Can’t hold your hand the entire time!

  26. Young&Fabulous!!! says:

    Ok so does this sound a little weird? This pot sd which i think we exchange 2 messages between each other sent me a message on here & the subject was a taste. Then it was a link to neiman marcus. Showing a Mandalay strapless lace dress. This seems a little scary to me. What do you guys think???

  27. Young&Fabulous!!! says:

    Sorry I keep changing my little name on this thing. I’m going to stick with this one. *l0l*

  28. A.L.300345 says:

    Hi everyone!!!!! I’m new to this all & I got great advice yesterday from some other sb’s. I changed my profile & put other pictures up. Hopefully it comes off as I know what I want & I won’t settle for less. *l0l* I had a couple pot SD’s send me a message. I’m still not sure how to go about all this. Advice anyone? For the initial meet would he pay my allowance or would we just get to know each other better? When would my allowance need to be met? Help, help, help!!! *l0l*

  29. OCSugarBaby says:

    He can send his email address FIRST!

  30. OCSugarBaby says:

    Charlie girl-He may just be not attractive. He can always have an email address set up just for Sugar dating. I have one. So I don’t think it is the unwillingness to share his email with you. Also, some, not all send out mass emails or one line’er to many SB’s to see who bites. He may have had others bite first and he is chat’ing them up first. You may still hear back from him in a few weeks. This takes time…

  31. charlie girl says:

    LOL please….

  32. BerkshireSD says:

    …and he may have thought “she didn’t give me a email address to send the pics…where does this ding bat expect me to send them????”

  33. BerkshireSD says:

    In that situation you may be pushing one of his fear buttons by asking for a photo immediately when he’s already shown reluctance to put a photo in his profile. Also it is implicit he has to give you an email address right away.

  34. charlie girl says:

    Pot SD-
    “I would love to get to know you.”

    My response-
    “I’d like to get to know you too! Do you have any pictures you can share with me?”

    That’s disappointing in some way?

  35. BerkshireSD says:

    One would presume your responses are disappointing in some way.

  36. charlie girl says:

    Why do pot SD contact you, you reply back & then hear NOTHING??? Why even contact me in first place???

  37. *AmberLynn* says:

    so I updated my profile. Look at it & tell me what you think. =) My pictures haven’t been approved yet.

  38. *AmberLynn* says:

    ok….would you mind chatting with me on yahoo messenger? if not that’s fine. I’m not a stalker or anything *l0l*

  39. Mina says:

    And you repeat things like “go from there” and the likes, so it makes it seem a tad obvious that you don’t really know what you’re doing… They’re not supposed to know that, lol.
    Mention something about needing initial chemistry/attraction/etc.

  40. Mina says:

    The wording isn’t that bad, mention something else besides shopping (you repeat that a few times)
    And leave out the “I prefer cash” bit as it’s a little tacky. No offense!

  41. Mina says:

    The Do’s and Dont’s are pretty standard for dating all across the board, be it traditional or SD/SB. The main thing is to trust your instinct and to not let yourself be pressured into anything you do not want to do.
    If an SD can not/will meet your monthly allowance requirements or you aren’t interested for whatever reason, simply say “Thanks but no thanks.” Good manners are always appreciated. :)
    What is your ideal age (or ideal age range) for a SD?
    A blowout simply means blowdrying hair straight to get it voluminous and gorgeous. Typically done in salons, can be done at home, but where’s the fun in that?
    Leased and paid in full = The car is leased for X amount of months and the monthly car payments are made in full in advance. That way you don’t have to worry about monthly payments as it has already been taken care of.
    One of my SDs deposits $6,000/month, paid my rent in full for a high rise apartment, and gives me full access to his account at a hotel spa (I charge the services to his account there)
    My other SD deposits $3000, paid for my tuitions and books, takes me shopping each time we get together, paid my car lease in full, and pays for my travel costs (about $1,500/month)

  42. *AmberLynn* says:

    Ok just added 3 new pictures =) now i have to work on my profile =( how should I word everything? what should I include & what not to include?

  43. *AmberLynn* says:

    Oh yea!!! & I would save alot of the money Only because if i ever lose my job, Lose a current SD, or anything of that matter I would still have money to continue paying bills & all that. Not to mention I would love to help my mother out. =) I’m a Mommas girl

  44. *AmberLynn* says:

    Thanks for the advice!!! I think I actually might need a SB guider as to say. If anyone would be of assistance. Yahoo messenger or something? I have so many questions & i’m eager to learn the do’s & don’ts of sd/sb dating. I really would like to pursue this type of thing. What if I end up with a SD who doesn’t want to spend so much money on me? I know i’m worth it. That’s not a doubt in my mind. I feel like all the SDs who doesn’t car if it’s 5k a month are so much older & i’m not attracted to them. I’m naturally a hyper person & very bubbly (not stupid) *l0l* I’m always happy. I don’t want to have a SD who’s all….Black tie events & that sort of thing. How much $$$ does your SD spend on you? (open to anybody) Mina what’s a blow out??? *l0l* I apologize I probably seem like some dumbass Cause I don’t really know any of this stuff. What do you mean lease & pay in full? I think I might want everything in cash cause most of my bills are paid online =)

  45. Carmen262922 says:

    Amber Lynn, welcome to the SB community! I’ve been SB dating for more than 10 years now, so let me take a crack at your questions below:

    Please remember to be careful who you give your number to, just as you would meeting guys in a bar. Stick to email communication in the beginning, then if they ask for your number, ask for theirs instead.

    If you call him from your home landline, dial *67 to block your number. Keep your conversation with him generalized (no mention of where you work, live, or too much specific info about your private life) and focused on what you both seek in an arrangement. Don’t let him engage you in phone or cyber sex!

    Or you can get a prepaid cell phone to use just for online dating. That way, if you should pick up a stalker or need to start fresh, you can just lose that phone or change the number.

    As for the financial transaction, you might feel more comfortable asking for cash, or a credit card for you to use with a set spending limit each month. But if for convenience or other reasons you want the money in your bank account, that’s perfectly safe, too. All he needs to make a cash deposit is your account number. (Plus a routing # if it’s a wire transfer)

    The bank will let him put money in, but he can’t take money *out* of that account unless he is the account owner. If a potential SD ever asks for anything more than your account # (such as your PIN number, passwords, or other verifying info), RUN LIKE THE WIND!

  46. Mina says:

    Besides, I could easily just blackmail them if they try any sort of funny business with my bank account information.

    JOKING of course. :)

  47. Mina says:

    I have a two bank accounts – My primary account I’ve had for years which my parents deposit my allowance into, and a secondary account my SD’s deposit money into.
    It was months before I felt comfortable enough giving away that sort of personal information, but felt this would be the best situation as the bank I use for my secondary account is more accessible (more locations) and one of my SDs travels about 25 days out of the month. Actually he was the one that suggested it, and my other SD approved.
    In other words, it wasn’t an immediate decision.

  48. Mina says:

    Oh, there are so many plastic surgeons that are much better than Dr. Rey, and much more professional too. (For the record I have not had any work done myself, ha)
    What you told me is things that you should either hint at in your profile, or share with an SD when he asks what you want. More than likely the SD will not buy you a car but rather lease it and pay the lease in full at the beginning (as is my case.) Do you have any interest in going back to school and getting a degree? This could be a wonderful opportunity to do so. Another smart move would be to also save some of the allowance, rather than blowing it all on handbags and shoes, just for the sake of financial security should things end.
    Spa day = A day before your date with an SD where you get a massage, facial, manicure/pedicure, and a blowout.
    Stand by your decision – If you feel comfortable emailing for the time being, make sure the man knows that. If he blows you off or is persistent about chatting on the phone, then he’s not a gentleman as he doesn’t respect your wishes. Before exchanging phone numbers, I think the smartest thing would be to exchange email addresses and perhaps chat on a messenger, that way you can get a better “feel” for him. If you have ANY doubts, DO NOT exchange phone numbers or pics. If you’re still a little iffy on the guy but want to chat on the phone, get his number and call it blocked (*67) No need to purchase a seperate phone/number.

  49. *AmberLynn* says:

    How do you go about your sd putting money in your bank account? Wouldn’t that be risky? With the sd having your banking info?

  50. *AmberLynn* says:

    I’ve had a couple of guys message me saying blah blah what’s your number we should talk & i’m like I feel more comfortable talking thru email for now. Should I get another phone, like a minute phone for this kind of thing? ……I’m very clueless!!! (If you can’t already tell *l0l*)

  51. *AmberLynn* says:

    Well I only owe 4k on my car now. It’s nothing special, but for me being 18 & I bought it myself…I love it. That was 2yrs ago. I would like to have a newer car or some extra money to play around with my car now. I would absolutely love some cosmetic surgery done by Dr. Rey =) or another well known dr. in California. What do you mean a spa day before hand? I have so many wants it’s crazy!!!!! I scare myself sometimes!! *l0l* But they are all basically dreams right now. I don’t know how to decide whether or not a pot sd is for real or just bsn. I don’t know how to start a sd/sb relationship. I want it to be discreet as possible. I still want to have a life of my own. I am still only 20 so………

  52. Mina says:

    Factor in how much your bills and payments are (necessities) and make a list of “wants” and estimate how much it will be per month. Do you want a nicer car, better apartment, comprehensive insurance, cosmetic surgery – these are all things to think about. Also factor in how much time you and your SD will be spending together as a spa day for you before-hand is an absolute must.
    Every woman should own a pair of black Louboutin pumps and La Perla lingerie. Put that on your list of “wants” lol.

  53. *AmberLynn* says:

    Oh yea…& I don’t own any christian louboutins =( Sad Sad Sad!!! *l0l*

  54. *AmberLynn* says:

    HaHa I couldn’t be a stripper cause of those damn heels. I’m a little clumsy! i’d probably tip right over. *l0l* I guess I put that much cause I thought it was normal. I don’t know what to ask for. I do have credit card bills, cell phone, car payment, insurance & a little shopping problem. I don’t know please help!!!

  55. Mina says:

    AmberLynn – Don’t itemize your list of wants necessarily but an SD will probably feel better about giving that much of an allowance if he knows it’s going towards something useful and not something frivolous like spending sprees at the mall. Trust me, a girl can only own so many pairs of Louboutins after all.
    As far as occupation, say you’re in the foods/service industry. And it may not be something you are proud of but at least it is a decent job that you enjoy. My first impression upon reading your occupation in your profile was that you do something bad, bad, bad. Lol.

  56. Carmen262922 says:

    When it comes to money, the man offers when he is ready.

    When it comes to sex, the woman offers when she is ready.

    This does not always occur simultaneously.

    But as a general rule, SB’s do expect an allowance upfront for two reasons: 1) to ensure the guy is real and can put his money where his mouth is. and 2) women have to be careful not to get taken advantage of.

    Sure, a guy can also get taken advantage of, but the worst case scenario is he might lose a few Benjamins on a scam artist. But the worst that can happen to a girl who winds up in the wrong place with the wrong dude is…well, check the statistics on rape, murder, stalking, abuse and violence against women. No further explanation needed!

    We both bring something the other one wants to the table…therefore, it should be up to us when we choose to offer that most desired part of the relationship to the other.

    However, I do not negotiate when it comes to these 3 things:
    1) My financial expectations. They are posted in my profile so I don’t have to discuss it. Talking about money makes me uncomfortable. I just like to see the money in my account on the 1st of each month and make no further mention of it. I’d rather focus on making my SD happy!:)
    2) My boundaries. I’m in this for fun, trinkets, travel, and money. Not looking to get attached or emotionally involved. So when I meet those guys that require 24/7/365 attention and want me to be their “beck and call” girl (pardon the pun! lol), I bolt very quickly!!!!
    3) My safety. I don’t fly to other cities for first meetings; the gentleman must come to me for a first date. I don’t allow myself to be alone with someone or have sex with them until I feel safe and at ease with them. I don’t give out my personal information until a potential SD becomes a real SD — until then, I guard my private info like Ft. Knox! Too many stalkers and weirdos out there!!!

    Oh, and speaking of stalkers and weirdos, yes, there *IS* a fakers list of guys who are pretending to be SD’s. Just google “fake sugar daddies” and you’ll run across a few websites where ladies post alerts on the bad guys.

    Have fun and be safe out there in Sugarland!!!

  57. *AmberLynn* says:

    Yea, i’ve always had an issue with capitalizing every word. I don’t know why, but I do it. I will add a new picture today. No, I am not a stripper. I actually work at sonic at the moment. I’m not struggling by no means though, but i’m not proud of working there. I lost a good job about 7 months ago. What your saying is I should list the things I would like paid for by my SD?

  58. Angela says:

    Hey all yall!
    Had some nice conversation today with a pot SD. I’m finding it is getting easier to discuss my desires. At first, when they would ask what I was looking for I was stumped. Now that i have been asked I will be more prepared when it happens again. SB’s make sure know what you want and be prepared for that question. Like seriously, write it down. Obviously it is just a starting point for an arrangement but it is good to be specific.
    Lisa, I figured you couldn’t name names but is there any way you could give me a hint? or email me? You said he seemed nice and normal so that is what worries me, I am trusting my gut feelings and it seems he is able to “fly under that radar” .
    As to the faker list……I don’t know what I can say on here to help SB’s find that info. I don’t want to redirect traffic ( I don’t want to break any rules and get in trouble here. I already feel like “family” ) Anyway, I guess If you are looking for that info you will find a way to find it …..keyword LEGIT

  59. Mina says:

    And don’t ever “settle” for anything in life, be it an SD or a blow-out, lol.

  60. Mina says:

    For starters, do you really have to capitalise the first letter of every single word?
    Get a better picture (it’s small and dark) or add another that shows your face or body at a better angle and lighting.
    What you listed for occupation makes it seem like you’re hiding something (stripper, perhaps?)
    You have a couple grammatical and punctuation errors that shouldn’t be too difficult to find with proofreading.
    Also, you have a somewhat high monthly allowance and all you really do is emphasize shopping, not things such as rent, tuition, car payments, etc.

  61. *AmberLynn* says:

    Well Be As Honest & Brutal As You Would Like About My Profile. It Will In No Means Hurt My Feelings *l0l*……I Guess I Felt So Intrigued That I Was Just About To Settle & Go Meet Someone That I Was Not Attracted To (I’ve Seen Pictures Of Pot SD’s) I Was Curious About What The Sugar Mommas Looked Like (I Am Not Looking For One) Just Wanted To See. And Alot Of Them Are Gorgeous Now Only If I Could Find A Gorgeous SD *l0l* Any Tips On Anything Please Don’t Be Scared To Hurt My Feelings Or Be Rude About My Profile. I Guess You Could Call Me A SB In Training?

  62. Mina says:

    Oh, and as far as initiating contact… On more than one occasion I would point out a typo or misspelled word (“intellegent” being my favourite) whether or not their profile interested me… Just for the sake of being a brat, really.
    Psychos? I’ve only had one bonehead ex boyfriend… But thanks to him, I now have a penchant for older men, so I can’t be too hard on the guy, lol.

  63. Mina says:

    I have only contacted a handfull on men whose profiles tickled my fancy (One is now an SD of mine) Those with few words… I don’t bother with because I felt like so little effort was put into it, so why should I put effort into writing? There wasn’t much material to work with anyway.
    The emails from men that simply wrote “look at my profile and let me know if you’re interested” were the worst. Sure enough, they were men of few words when it came to their profile, lol.
    But you really can’t go wrong with something witty or funny, or if someone lists travel as an interest you could ask about their favourite destination they’ve been to. It all depends on how outgoing you’re feeling, I suppose.
    No need to make up your mind about wanting NSA or not, but make it clear to any potential SD you meet that you could possibly want things to go in a slightly different direction and in the way of a more traditional relationship (if that’s what you want!)

  64. Joules*300035* says:

    mina, i’m not that out of it lol we were just bashing on stupid crap ppl do in relationships and why they do it (pretty much trying to figure out why we have stuck with psychos in past relationships honestly). so i’m all in a pissy mood, thinkin about stupid stuff then come back here where it’s all happy and chipper! hahaha

  65. Mina says:

    Ha, just make sure you don’t let anything slip to the other person!

  66. Joules*300035* says:

    oh, and as for the convo. we were having about the NSA relationship. you know, i said that that IS pretty much what i’m looking for. buuuut i wouldn’t want to rule out a pot SD based on that. is that ok or do i need to make my mind up one way or the other and stick with it?

  67. Joules*300035* says:

    so anyways, if ur still here mina….do you often make first contact? i know we’ve been talkin about it off and on in here but i WAS in tha process of tryin to do that and got distracted with the whole NSA thing.

    anyways, if you have made first contact, how’d YOU go about it? i mean, i’m looking at these men’s profiles and frankly, there’s nothing to comment on except….do you REALLY make that much money??! LOL! These men just don’t put too much in their profile so how do you strike up interest?

  68. Joules*300035* says:

    and i thought i was the master of leading a double-life! damnit jim!!! what happened to me! ahahahaha

  69. Joules*300035* says:

    uhhhg, it’s almost confusing toggling this blog and this conversation i’m having with this friend of mine at the same time…..two totally diff. worlds lol messin with my head!

  70. Joules*300035* says:

    amber, i personally think that regardless, traditional or SD relationship there must be some extent of physical attractiveness no matter what who says. as for them wanting sex, there were some really good posts on that at some point yesterday….everyone was pretty much talkin about around 3rd meeting or so. as for your profile, i’m in a judgemental state of mind right now so i really wont comment on exact parts of it (i can check it out tomorrow though and see it with my regular, open-minded and friendly mind hehehe). i do want to say tho, that in my opinion, its good when you’re specific about what you’re looking for and stick with it! (which is honestly an issue i’m tryin ta figure out myself hehehe)

    good luck to you! in my first day or two after i had my profile approved i had 2 pot SDs and hopefully will be meeting my first in a couple weeks if we can agree on our ‘terms’ (at a loss for words now, sorry)

  71. Mina says:

    Yes. And the odds of him being real about it are slim to none, lol.

  72. Joules*300035* says:

    hhmmmmm wasn’t there a previous post a cpl hrs ago about how this one chick had a pot SD email her that was ONLY lookin for a gold digger??!

  73. Mina says:

    It depends on the situation, Joules. Personally I’m not one for traditional relationships so this suits me and my SDs very well (seeing as to how they are both married) I have been seeing them for several months each and one has paid for my (very expensive) rent in full, so while it is more of a longer term arrangement with more “invested” there is no need to end it because things are going quite smoothly; on the other hand I know that things with either won’t further develop. We have boundaries set for each other since the beginning and they are fully respected.
    But if one of them wanted to get a divorce for me, I’d run far, far away. Lol.

  74. Joules*300035* says:

    i’ll chime in with my 2cents in a min….multi-tasking on dial-up is No Bueano!

  75. Mina says:

    And just how brutally honest do you want us to be in critiquing your profile? Lol…

  76. Joules*300035* says:

    thanks again mina! i still have quite a bit to figure out but i’m def. more on the side of wanting an NSA. as i said earlier tho, my problem with that is that sometimes people DO mutually end up attached….then is that just a bonus since you had no expectation of that to begin with? or do people in an agreed NSA relationship jus go their seperate ways if either ends feels attachment coming on?

  77. Mina says:

    *AmberLynn* – It would be bad for you to NOT be physically attracted to someone and enter an arrangement anyway… That’s just cheap. There’s a fair amount of great looking men on the site (something for everyone!) and I speak from personal experience on the matter.
    If a SD wants sex on a first date and you don’t, say no and stand by your decision. Simple as that.

  78. *AmberLynn* says:

    Hi Guys I Am Oh So New To This. I Have Never Had A SD Or At Least A Decent Boyfriend Who Did Things For Me =( …..I’m Not Really Sure What To Make Of All This. Is It Bad For Me To Want To Be Physically Attracted To Them? I Feel As Though I Won’t Find One. I’m A Little Pessimistic But I Would Like To Be Very Optimistic. I’m Afraid If I Do Go & Meet A Potentional SD. I Will End Up In A Bad Situation Or They Will Expect Sex From Me After One Little Date. Please Help Any Advice Or Anything Will Be Greatly Appreciated!!!! My Profile Is 300345 Take A Look & See What You Think. Thanks A Bunch!!!!!!

  79. Mina says:

    Lol. The concept is pretty simple on paper but I suppose a tad different to enforce in real life.

  80. Joules*300035* says:

    I GET IT!!!!! hahaha and that’s EXACTLY what i’m looking for pretty much.

  81. Mina says:

    Not at all offended. We both had and still have very busy schedules, but more importantly he is married so a trip to my city would have to be justified (as he primarily does business in the midwest, SE, and east coast.) I did something I normally would not have (traveling for an initial meeting) but I am glad I took that leap.
    No Strings Attached means just that. You have personal boundaries and emotional limits on the relationship (I use that term loosely) and they aren’t supposed to be crossed. Of course a friendship is necessary but there’s no emotional commitment of a traditional relationship. Either party can walk away at anytime without breaking a heart.

  82. Joules*300035* says:

    mina, i understand getting to know a pot s/d….but i mean (and totally no offense intended!) several months?!

    here’s my take on it….somethin sparks one of the two of you to send a message to the other, you exchange a few emails and you meet. why spend several months talking when you could just meet and see what happens!?

    This is exactly why i was sayin that i figure, if all goes well, my pot s/d and i will meet not this weekend but next weekend. i don’t really see much reason to stretch it out longer than one month personally.

    is that a terrible train of thought i have goin on there? hope i didn’t offend you in any way, just curious mainly i guess per ur reasons with such a long amount of time

  83. Joules*300035* says:

    hey it just dawned on me that one of my curiousity questions was never really answered from earlier.

    i was just trying to actually decipher the true meaning behind a NSA relationship because personally, it sounds to me more of a sex for money (gifts, etc) arrangement.

    what are your all’s thoughts on that?

  84. Mina says:

    Word of advice, don’t rush the process because you’re anxious or excited to start. If things go well in the initial meeting and there are plans for others, you can certainly go to him (or travel with him) since you know him and have become comfortable with him. I have only traveled once to meet a potential, and it worked out surprisingly well (he’s now one of my SDs after all); then again, we had emailed and chatted on the phone for several months so it was anything but rushed.

  85. Joules*300035* says:

    hey gurl. my weekend was ok, better than average though i guess. how are you doin?

  86. Joules*300035* says:

    i agree with you….i’m thinkin i’m jus gettin a lil anxious on this one (which i’m sure, in the end spells trouble, huh?!).

  87. gurlnextdoor says:

    Hey to all the new SDs and SBs on here, sorry I haven’t been around lately…been kinda busy. Anyway hope everyone had a great weekend.

  88. Mina says:

    You haven’t asked… Are you serious? Lol. He should have first offered to come to you, it’s the gentlemanly thing to do. If he wants to meet, he’ll make time.
    An initial meeting in your city is the safest (and in my opinion, smartest) thing to do.

  89. Joules*300035* says:

    mina, haven’t asked him that so i dunno. SHOULD i ask? i DO know tho that he has only the weekends available. it sounds, by his profile, he’s just a busy man through the week and a social butterfly on the weekends and needs some arm candy (so ta speak)…at least that’s MY interpretation lol

    plus, there’s absolutely squat out here! i fully intend on traveling to meet all my SDs…ya, it’s that bad here! no fun to it, just boooorrrrrring!

  90. Joules*300035* says:

    sooooo i’m gettin bored. i’m thinkin that now that my newly edited profile has been re-approved i should go back to my favorites list and start sending out ‘hellos’ lol i mean, it couldn’t hurt anything huh?

  91. Mina says:

    Why doesn’t he come to you?

  92. Joules*300035* says:

    Mina – I totally agree as far as how tricky it is and of course i’m all nervous and kinda iffy about it. We’ve only exchanged like 4 emails so far so if I have it my way, it’ll be another week or so (so probably not this weekend but next weekend) until we meet. thanks for the suggestion on the confirmation numbers. the only thing i could think to tell him was, as someone had previously mentioned, that i be the one purchase the ticket so it couldn’t be cancelled. however, i made it clear to him that if he was indeed interested then he was more than welcome to make suggestions himself so this can happen more quickly / smoothly, bla bla bla lol

    lol @ your stalking comment SuzieQ hehehe

    but ya, i’m always over-analyzing shit and going way too far in depth with my responses so i feel ya there! cuz i feel, if i keep it short and to the point, then i’m coming off as kinda uninterested, rushed and brainless lol

  93. SuzieQ says:

    Yeah, does seem a bit less lively than usual….must be that the boys aren’t here tonight!

    I hope the meeting goes well for you! You’ll have to tell us all about it.

    I’ve had only one legitimate sounding sd contact me. He sounded very sincere and asked for more info/if I might be interested. I sent what I thought was a nice reply, but maybe it was too long (I tend to talk a lot in email, though not so much in person) as he never did get back to me. Maybe he thought I might not shut up if we met lol!

    Anyway, I figure there’s no point in trying to stalk them…not very attractive, right?!

  94. Mina says:

    Joules – Just make sure you have the confirmation numbers for the flights & hotel and a backup plan incase things falls through. Traveling to meet someone for the first time, especially at their expense, can be tricky…

  95. Joules*300035* says:

    hey suzieQ i’m still on here (friggin quiet in here huh?!)

    how are you doin?

  96. Joules*300035* says:

    well, not for sure yet. i already told him i wanted all the ‘details’ worked out and agreed upon first so i didn’t end up stranded; especially since an entire weekend ordeal is, in my opinion, a huge commitment for the first meet.

    i’m BEYOND SUPER-EXCITED tho! he sounds like a pretty good guy (jus a lil goofy-lookin hehehe) and he’s lookin for a Princess to spoil (which is DEF. me! *grin*)

    and i think what’s goin to get me ‘in trouble’ (lol) in the begining is the fact that i hate bein so blunt about things, especially right now for example; i’d rather be flown out there, he pay for it all including a hotel for me to stay at and bla bla bla….but instead, i turn it into this 3 paragraph explanation / justification !!! LOL

    we will see what he has to say in response to my reply tomorrow and take it from there.

    thanks again BB! nite!

  97. SuzieQ says:

    I changed my photos as BerkSD suggested, also made a few minor changes to my profile. Hopefully it will be back up by tomorrow and I will start to get some nibbles. I’m starting to feel old and ugly lol!

  98. SuzieQ says:

    Hey! I’m just getting home and everyone’s already going to bed?! I’m on the west coast, guess maybe the evening’s getting late for the rest of you? Oh well, sleep tight, and sweet sugar dreams….

  99. Bad BB says:

    Anyways! Time for this BB to get to bed!
    Nite Joules!


  100. Bad BB says:

    Perrrfect! I find it so hard to put things into words sometimes and it’s like these men don’t know what the site is about. I hate asking for things but sometimes you just have to spell it out I guess…

    So your meeting this SD for sure? Are you excited? Is he physically your type?

  101. Joules*300035* says:

    seeee, i thought about sayin somethin like…well, i feel i outlined everything pretty well in my profile….but then i figured i’d be comin off as a smart ass lol

    other than that, what you said makes perfect sense and sounds very polite/upfront…pretty much what i was tryin ta figure out how to say lol

  102. Bad BB says:

    Good luck!! And when facing those questions I usually respond with what you didn’t read my book?? LOL!!

    But seriously I would say I’m looking for a ongoing situation with someone that can provide me with the financial assistance I need at the moment. I am open to having more develop with time but for now I wish to have something fun and carefree not over bearing… What do you think?

  103. Joules*300035* says:

    alright, figured it out….i just asked him to make his question a little more specific (was he asking about the financial part, the weekend or entire ‘relationship’)

    as for the entire taking a bus out there….i opted to stick with being ok with it, but i DID tell him i was mistakenly thinking of a diff. city that was close by and that i’d be no ‘fun’ after a 10 hr bus ride, especially if i was going to be staying there for the entire weekend!

    we’ll see! keep your fingers crossed for me! (i need some dang good luck for once!!!)

  104. Joules*300035* says:

    uhhhg, I never would have imagined this question (what do you want out of the situation?) would be so difficult to answer the first time around! hahaha

  105. Joules*300035* says:

    Ok, as I said earlier, I am taking my sweet time responding to my POT s/d’s most recent email. He is asking what I want out of this “situation” and I’m WANTING to say something like this…..

    NSA, mentoring, companionship, close friendship/relationship….i mean, i’m not interested in the love of my life and marrying this guy (although i’m definately not ruling it out, just being realistic as I would like to have a couple S/D’s)….so is NSA the proper term or when a person is using NSA does that mean no strings attached, meaning we have sex, u give me money type of thing?

    i guess my main question is the EXACT terminology / use of the phrase NSA

  106. Bad BB says:

    Lisa Buck up beautiful! I’m sure there are some babies out there far worst off than you! Some may have never even gotten any replies at all!
    Imagine being in the least viewed profiles! Ouch…

  107. Bad BB says:

    Right now I’m just playing the sugar field and not ready to make up my mind yet. My pot jar is looking good but far from concrete… I started off wanting 1 solid SD but now I want like 3 lmao!
    Haven’t seen HesAHottie in a while… he always makes me smile… maybe he’s busy with a SD!

  108. Bad BB says:

    Ohhh!!! Sounds Sweet! Sugar Sweet! I don’t want to miss the next Sugar trip!!! Let me know :)

  109. lisa says:

    just remember to come armed, lol mase, pepper spray, bullet proof vest.

    I am still trying to find me a sugardaddy. Anytime I get a response, there is a fly in the ointment, somthing wrong. Like Bob who wants to meet but can’t check messages while he out of town. Profile says he lives in Houston but he doesn’t. I will have to wait till wednesday when he gets back to were he lives to hear from him again.

  110. Gail says:

    I love your humor Lisa:)….that’s why you need to escape your reality and go on a Sugar trip!!!! Hey…..I will definately see you if I make it to Houston…lol….

  111. lisa says:

    If he is talking about going to his place before you have even met, he isn’t a sugardaddy.

    Gail, I’m so jealous. now let me tell you about my saturday, lol
    got up at 6 am, waiting for bus, sat at work for 45 minutes, worked my butt off, got off, waiting for bus almost an hour, came home, stopped at mcds, and logged onto the blog, lol Bet you’re jealous, lol

  112. Gail says:

    lol…I met a nice gentleman..who lives in Houston, Texas…had wonderful drinks at Minus 5..you need to see this place…Ice chairs,tables, ice sculptures. You have to put on Jackets and gloves that the bar provides. You are served vodka drinks in all ice glasses:) It was a fun and different date. I squeezed this date after dinner at the Social House full sushi dinner,poles dance lessons at the Palms, bottle Service,[email protected] at Blush…Minus 5…and last of all Treasures:)

    My favorite part was meeting up with all my sugar sisters…and our Weekend SD Sam:) That was definately the best part!!!! My favorite day and nite was Saturday!!!

  113. miss G . says:

    that is true , but i’m just like confused ? i don’t know if he thinks that’s hes gonna get sex from me or what ? hes been texting me non stop asking when i’m free ? and he always says the same kinda thing me going to his place?? i don’t know what to think or do?

  114. lisa says:

    He doesn’t sound like a sugardaddy to me. So many of the guys on this site just don’t get it. On the other hand be glad they are offering you money, all I get is guys that want to talk intimacy upfront with no mention of anything beneficially to me. One guy wanted to get together every week and would pay my phone bill for me. Wow 65 dollars for spending hours together every week. He was clueless too. It’s not about getting together for an hour or two, it’s about going out and having fun.

  115. miss G . says:

    ha ha i bet!!!
    so i have a question! its more like i would like ur opinion ! so i never done the sugarbaby thing before so i tried it , i met this guy online who lives in my state , this guy writes me and hes like want a sugar daddy? so i said what do u want ? hes like hot tub , drinking , massage . so i never wrote back , then he texts me and is hes like 400$ cash , i was like ofended!? (im not a prostitute) so i said what ? for what? and hes like some of ur time ?
    i never talked to him again
    what do you guys think about this????? i dont think he really is a sugar daddy ?

  116. lisa says:

    Good evening Gail

    I had set up some projects to do at home tonight but i’m just too tired and sore to do anything. I really need to get motivated to organize the closets, cabinets, etc.. I feel like I don’t get anything done on the days I work except work, and I need to get into the spring cleaning spirit. lol

  117. Bad BB says:

    Gail what was your favorite part? Did you snag a SD… or 2?? hihi I want juicy details

  118. Gail says:

    It was…I am having a hard time readjusting to real life:)….

  119. miss G . says:

    got it! that sounds FAbulous!

  120. Gail says:

    read my post from above Miss G:)

  121. miss G . says:

    thanks Gail :) , oh sad face! what is sugar weekend ?

  122. Gail says:

    No don’t change your name…keep it….and WELCOME:) to the SA blog!!! This blog will help guide you thru the SA lifestyle. You just missed out Sugar weekend:(……………..ask questions and everyone including SDs will give you their perspective.

  123. Bad BB says:

    SweetRed – Is that 29.95 plus tx? LOL!!

  124. miss G . says:

    lol no ? i am new here ha ha should i change my name ?? since there is a miss G already ? haha

  125. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    I wrote him back lol. Told him what I thought about his offer and all he said was “OK” lmao

  126. Gail says:

    Is this my Miss G?….lol….

  127. miss G . says:

    heLLO everyone ! another new one here ,
    wow this is so interesting !!!! any tips for the new people ??? i don’t really know how thing works yet ! thanks !

  128. lisa says:

    wow sweetredhead, sounds like you’ve found your dream man, lol when are you gonna let your boss know you’re quitting, lol.
    Is 29.95 the going rate for a prostitute now? I have always been curious but didn’t know where to find out. and for an additional 9.95 we will through in a motel, lol

    I get no email at all now. Haven’t heard anything from Bob, but then again I guess internet service isnt’ available in Austin,lol

  129. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    I just got an email from some so called Doctor who wants specific sexual acts for $10,000 a month. WTF get a prostitute for $29.95 LMAO

  130. lisa says:

    Now where did I put that shovel? lol Most of the guys that I hear from (that is back when I was still getting response) wanted a woman who wasn’t into money, how weird to be on a site like this and not want to spend money,lol

  131. Bad BB says:

    There’s a SD trying to get into my pot jar and I don’t know if I should let him… He straight up told me he wants a gold digger… I like my gold gift wrapped and handed to me thank you very much!! Digging?? Is he trying to make me break a nail or something lol!! But he is a hottie tho…. very very tempting… Comments?

  132. Bad BB says:

    Good Evening Sugar Land!

    Welcome back Vegas Babies!
    Welcome to Sugar Land Angela… if you get a tooth ache, your doing something right lol!!

    Short hair… Long hair??? I prefer long but I do the extension thing ALL the time and have been through every length, color, and style you can think of! And I have concluded that the shorter hair made me feel more fierce, the men love it long and it makes the woman jealous (lol) and blondes really do have more fun!!

  133. bostonTerrier says:

    lol, i definitely will :)

  134. lisa says:

    bostonterrier if he is a republican, toss him my way, we would have a great time, i’m a rightwing sugarbaby, lol

  135. lisa says:

    Good afternoon everyone. Just got in from work. Very hard day as I was the only one working. My boss was having a bad day due to the district manager being on her back. I hope she doesn’t get in any trouble, she’s a great boss.

    Angela I wish I could post the names but we can’t. There is one real pervert in Houston that contacted me. He seems all nice although kinda scary looking and wants you to send him free porn.

    Going to have some coffee now, I dont’ have the strength to read all the posts. lol

  136. bostonTerrier says:

    *What’s a good place for a first date?
    i always prefer meeting at a coffee place/bookstore cafe for a first meeting as the meeting can be long or short there. meeting for a meal, unless it was at mcdonalds [which i absolutely love], makes it difficult to leave if you’re uninterested well into the meeting. a second date a nice lunch/dinner where i get to dress up is always fun and i love the compliments :)

    *Who should bring up the money question?
    the sd should and if he doesn’t then the sb should. i only say the sd because usually they’ll ask – in a first/second meeting – how they can help you or they’ll ask what you’re looking for.

    *How should you go about negotiating finances? For tax purposes, is cash better than check or paypal or credit?
    i go by the amount he lists in his profile or if his profile is “open/negotiable” i go by my profile … i prefer cash but i had an sd give me a card [under his name] for shopping & whatnot.

    *What are appropriate gifts for an SB to get for her SD?
    i just pay attention to what my sd likes with regard to his favorite drink,a favorite outfit i have, whether or not he likes me in a skirt/dress and heels as opposed to pants, giving him a massage, etc. the key is simple things that cannot be bought in a store.

    *What do you talk about (or not talk about) with a person who is significantly older than you?
    my sds have always been older than my father [he’s 43, i’m *nearly* 21] and we talk about any and everything except for politics. i can’t have a political debate with a republican (without wanting to throw something at him or reducing his intelligence to a peanut) and most the the sds i’ve talked to have been swinging to the right with the exception of a few i’m talking to now.

    *Do you treat it like a business deal, a relationship, or both?
    like a friendship.

  137. Mina says:

    Thank you, HenriLouis :)

  138. Mina says:

    I’d much rather have a date who’s hyper and talkative from too much coffee than one who is a sloppy and slurring mess from too much alcohol.

  139. HenriLouis*294522 says:

    Hi Mina,
    Great comments on the topic !
    Especially since you are a person with a lot of experience to share.
    Yes, and a wonderfully humourous last sentence: friendship with lots of lust sprinkled on top !
    It keeps me laughing loudly.

  140. BerkshireSD says:

    What would the SD who needed a few drinks at dinner to calm his nerves have been like on coffee?

  141. Mina says:

    Good lord, that was a long Q&A.

  142. Mina says:

    What’s a good place for a first date?
    I think it really depends on how comfortable you are with the other person. In general, you can’t go wrong with a coffee/pastry shoppe (though I’m sure some of you would object to this) as dinner can sometimes drag on. Another thing I don’t particularly like about dinner as a first date is that alcohol will be present, and I’ve had a first date where the man drank entirely too much to calm his nerves.

    Who should bring up the money question?
    Either party but I feel it should come up at an appropriate time, perhaps when discussing expections from the arrangement.

    How should you go about negotiating finances?
    I’ve never had to negotiate finances with my SDs as they have given me much more than I had initially asked for.

    For tax purposes, is cash better than check or paypal or credit?
    Paypal? Seriously? Lol how odd. My SDs have my bank account number and deposit my allowance at the beginning of the month. They also pay for my spa trips, shopping excursions, travel, etc in addition to my allowance.

    How/when do you talk about your sexual expectations?
    I feel it’s only fair to discuss sexual expectations when discussing financial expections, since already on the topic of “wants”

    Sex before financial benefits, or only after?
    Both of my SDs gave me a “treat” on our first meeting, without me asking or even mentioning it, to prove they were serious about the arrangement. So I’d say… After.

    Should you go get tested together?
    Not together (how romantic!) but each party should be tested within a few days of each other to have current information.

    Should you make plans in advance about what to do if the SB becomes pregnant?
    I think focusing on NOT getting pregnant would be more effective.

    What are the best ways to give each other the space you desire?
    Physical space or figurative space?

    What are appropriate gifts for an SB to get for her SD?
    What do I give two men who seem to have it all? Me in expensive European lingerie and sky-high Louboutins.

    Do you have certain personal techniques for remaining emotionally detached?
    I know my boundaries.

    What do you talk about (or not talk about) with a person who is significantly older than you?
    Though there is a generation gap, there are plenty of neutral topics to discuss – travel, films, music, etc. Occasionally we will talk (or debate) politics and religion, though more often we get a bit more personal and discuss our families.

    Do you treat it like a business deal, a relationship, or both?
    I treat it as a friendship with lots of lust sprinkled on top.

  143. Gail says:

    Oh by the way…a New Sugar trip is in the planning stages….DONOT BE LEFT OUT:) this will be an opportunity you won’t want to miss:)

    Speaking of transportation…Our trips in Vegas we had limo service at our beckon call. Champange on the way and coming back each time…The granddaddy limo…was Saturday nite…the Great HUMMER limo:) with the greatest SD in our company…we didn’t stop partying until the sun was up. Had to catch our planes that morning.

  144. Gail says:

    BerkshireSD Says:

    March 1st, 2009 at 2:34 pm
    Solution Lovey: Just put your hourly rate in your profile. :p

    Berkshire, I read this…are you serious? or were you just trying to be funny…did I miss something here?

  145. stephan says:

    Gail: Congrats on the Sugar Trip! I second the thanks to Sam and Sincere SD for helping to make the sugar trip a reality.

    If anyone has any sugar pictures they’d like to share on the blog feel free to email them to me and I’ll be happy to post them. [email protected]

    Henri: LOL “SA rehab”- that would be a fun reality show as well 😀

  146. Gail says:

    Susie Q-I found out hair ext really do look good. One of our Sugars had them at our Vegas trip. I am extremely tempted to add them to my hair.. because I would love more body and thickness…she had the clip ons:)

    I am excited that you are getting in the swing of things, and wish you the best with your new SD experience.

    Sam-I love your practice of getting the financial part out of the way:) It has me convinced that it will definately get real SDs to stand up. In addition it makes our lives so much less stressful:)

  147. Joules*300035* says:

    NSA = no strings attached, GOT IT! thanks! (hahaha can’t believe I couldn’t figure that one out myself, must’ve been pretty tired last night!)

    I noticed you guys were talking about long hair. I used to have really long hair and kept it for years on end cuz I knew the guys just loved it! I got a surprise birthday make-over on New Year’s Eve, had EIGHTEEN inches cut off! Got $400 outta that hair, too! hehehe I am contantly getting compliments on my new hair style though, mainly ‘You look so Sophisticated now!” Plus, since my hair is so short I can manage it a lot better and I can dry it in no time and bla bla bla; no more hassle! However, I gotta taste of that money from selling it so I fully intend on re-growing it SPECIFICALLY to sale (which will probably bring in twice the amount!)

    I DID edit my profile last night and it is already re-approved. I think it’s still looking like a book but I did the best I could and don’t feel like re-editing anymore!

    My pot SD emailed me back today and wants me to tell him ‘how {I} invision this working out’ so I’m excited to get to that reply in a bit; AFTER I take the time to think out my answer thoroughly this time!

  148. Gail says:

    I was reading way up there about blurry faces in the pics. I can now say that I will never discount a blurry face. During our trip to Vegas I met my first blurry faced SD:)

    He definately is a true SD!!! Imagine ladies being one of Hugh’s girls…the entire weekend we were showered with the finest of everything…. I even got to fulfill a fantasy of pole dancing. We had a private lessons in a room at the Palms. We stayed in two magnificent suites at the Encore!!! We had Josh who planned,paid, and scheduled all of our activities and made sure that we were all safe and accounted for at every event.

    It’s hard being back home…real life:( and even more I met the most wonderful Sugars in the world…Kitty,Bettie,Mercedes,Yammin,Jenni and Sam…we had the time of our lives:)

    A HUGE Thank you Sam for being our sponsor on the trip:) Sincere SD thank you for your contribution as well:) We love you and appreciate all of your support in making our Sugar trip come true.

  149. Angela says:

    Mine is (down to the a$$) long. I love it long, even though it takes a lot of care. I was going to cut it short and sell it ($1000 for 17 inches of blonde hair) to someone from Houston but the deal fell through cause of Ike hitting. I’m glad it happend that way though as I probably would’ve regretted it.

  150. SuzieQ says:

    Welcome Angela, from a fellow newborn sugar baby!

    I have a hair appt on Thursday and will have to give it some serious thought. Used to wear it long years ago but always get soooo many compliments when I go shorty short again. And it’s at that horrible in between stage where it’s driving me crazy and I just want to cut it all off!

    A couple of years ago I was at a women’s show with my business (women’s fitness studio) and I had some photos of myself on the display board, looking very fit and muscular with my dance pole and a short spikey haircut. I overheard two young women talking and one asked the other, “is that a guy in that photo?”

    Scarred me for life, lol! But ever since then I’ve thought about growing my hair long again. It just seems a stupid reason, to please others. Hmmm, maybe my sd will buy me hair extensions if he really likes long hair!

  151. Atalanta says:

    Oh yeah Bad BB! I still try to read as much as possible! What type of input do you need?

    Good luck!

  152. Gail says:


  153. Angela says:

    Thanks for the welcome. I do plan to stick around and contribute. This was my first time blogging and I think I could become addicted…lol

  154. Angela says:

    NC- heehehe
    Like the bikers t-shirt “If you can read this the bitch fell off!”

  155. Gail says:

    Faker’s List? Is there a website for one? Hmmmmm…I’ll find out:)

  156. HenriLouis*294522 says:

    Hi all, good afternoon !
    I had been off to early, so could not wish you heartfelt good morning.
    Angela, I really enjoyed your humour.
    Hope you stay long contributing to the blog.
    The reference to the caveman was a hoot, it fits me since my aftershave is called Brut !
    Meet your pot SD and have a great time, if you both hit it off he might take you shopping. You write that you can see both sides of the dilemma.
    As a pot SD I would love to spoil her with something nice, that is my intention, but if I meet someone and it turns out that there are no good vibes. I would rather spend it on somebody else then.
    But you are a woman and if you like him, you can turn him around your little finger easily. I often find that men think they are the decisionmaker in such a situation, but it is in fact the woman who decides, if this man is going to be her mate. Mate in the meaning of a close friend.
    Let your female intuition lead you in your choice.

  157. BerkshireSD says:

    Where is this fakers list?

  158. NC Gentleman says:

    Too funny Angela — that reminds me of a t-shirt I saw a woman wearing once…. it said “If you call me b**ch you better be pulling my hair”

  159. Gail says:

    Yes it does AJ…keep looking forward to a brighter future…things will get better and easier with time:)

  160. Angela says:

    I can understand the appeal of long hair to men’s “inner caveman”–easier to drag…lol

  161. Angela says:

    Lisa- I’m in TX too so my “pickings” are from Austin , DFW, and Houston. Are there any pot SD’s that I should avoid that aren’t on the faker list. I am Googling and cross referencing with the list to be careful but you mentioned a former SD that changed all his info… something about remembering his wording. He might not be on the faker list but I would still like to avoid him if possible and any others that have turned out to be creeps. I don’t know if you can (or would want to) “name names” on here,
    but I would appreciate the info.
    aj- Why did you pay to travel?-Maybe I’m wrong (it has been known to happen) but I thought it was assumed that the SD should pay for it.
    sweet(and feisty)redhead—-Reading between the lines is something that women do. We like to think there is hidden inner meanings to things but the fact is is that a lot of (I hate to generalize so I won’t say all or even most) men are very literal with their language. There usually isn’t any inner meaning. They say what they mean. Women know how to give “hints” and imply, we are taught to be subtle….men, not so much.
    SuzieQ- My vote is screw the stereotypical wants and do whatever you want. Keep what makes you YOU!
    Thanks to all Yall.
    Hope all your pots are full of sugar!!!!!

  162. SuthrnExec says:

    Angela, welcome! Glad you changed your status form “lurking” to blogging.

    I think it would be wise to set your expectations to simply meet and see how compatible you are – especially since it sounds like you haven’t discussed the first meeting details. If he is genuine and right for you, I think you will know it. And if he spoils you a bit at your fist meeting, that will be icing on the cake!

    Good luck!

  163. SuthrnExec says:

    Good day everyone – regarding the hair… my preference would be to have hair – period! Truthfully, it wouldn’t bother me if all mine fell out – I prefer to keep what I have very short and fortunately OC likes it that way too.

    I’m back at my office after having been on the west coast and it’s cold here! On top of that I’m having sugar withdrawals so I have the jitters! LOL

    AJ, vent away!

    Make it a great one everybody.

  164. Angela says:

    Hello all!
    I’m new to the site have been enjoying (lurking) the blog a few days. I have absorbed a lot of good advice. SO glad there is a place to go to vent, get opinions and advice from other sugars! Awesome Job all Yall. I have a few pots and will be having my first pot meet this Sat. We talked easily on the phone and seem very compatible. I’m excited. I’ve had a few rude ones too but from reading the blog I see it happens to us all so just don’t let it bug me. I hope to only have to meet 4 frogs (or less ) before the prince comes along. Now, my question is:

    1. Should I expect (maybe not expect but hope for) spoiling on the first meet date?
    Unfortunately for me , I can see both sides of this conundrum all to clear (its a trait of mine) and can’t decide which one is right. On one hand its the first meet and I would want him to (want to) try and impress me. I mean he showed enough interest to want to meet right? To quote BAD BB “this date should show the baby the difference between a SD first date and a regular first date.”
    On the other hand this is just the “first meet” to see if we are compatible so I shouldn’t “expect” anything until after we know if this will work. To quote Sam”Otherwise you create “hidden” expectations and SA, to me, is all about being honest up front – with your potential partner AND yourself.”

  165. Angela says:

    is this thing on?

  166. aj says:

    I’m just going to throw this out there because I’m venting and a little bit furious at the moment…

    Divorce SUCKS … ugggg!!!!

  167. aj says:

    Good Morning all! Lol on the hair talk! I must say that I prefer my hair long. Not sure why but I always feel sexier and more confident with my long hair as opposed to when I had it short…Hmmm..interesting point to bring up.

    BerkSD – thanks! I should have been more clear I guess in my description of the dates. As they say in sales “No and Next!”

  168. NC Gentleman says:

    Good morning all!

    SuzieQ — I prefer longer hair on women, but having said that, I wouldn’t change my hairstyle for anyone :)

    I noticed when I was in Europe last time that more women there tend to have their hair longer than women in North America – maybe I was just fantasizing though lol

  169. SuzieQ says:

    Good morning all!

    Berkshire SD – I was just considering that lol! Personally I like the short and sassy look as it fits well with my on the go lifestyle, but I think lots of guys like long hair. Hmmm….do I give in to what the stereotypical male wants, or maintain my independent, rebellious streak and just do whatever the heck I want? Major dilemma! Shall we put it to a vote?

  170. BerkshireSD says:

    Wow! SusieQ, grow your hair a little longer and I’ll walk to BC.

  171. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. A cold morning in Texas, brrrrrrr
    Getting ready to go to work. Looking forward to getting home already, lol

  172. Gail says:

    OC and Suthrn….sounds like you both had a great time:) I am as always happy for the both of you.

    New clothes and new shoes always make SDs and SBs happy!!! Running on the beach…great music and food….ahhhh lovely:)

    I really like the duo messages…its nice to see a SUGAR couple on the blog:)

  173. Gail says:

    Morning Sugar World!!!! Just woke up….still tired…going back to sleep…will update soon with Vegas stories…..

  174. OCSugarBaby says:

    Joules-NSA is “no strings attached” relationship…

    Nite everyone, may tomorrow bring you a real sugar daddy, not just sugar coated promises. :)

  175. Joules says:

    lol bad bb, my bad…i was reading previous topics/blogs whatevery they’re called but thanks for tha info!

    still dunno what NSA is tho??!

  176. Bad BB says:

    Goodnight sugar land (even Joules who seems to be ignoring my posts!)


  177. Bad BB says:

    D/D Mean drug and disease free! I googled it lol

  178. Joules says:

    lol btw i know what discression is

  179. Joules says:

    what does this mean?:
    Looking for discreet relationship, absolutely NSA and must be D and D free.

    i was assuming D and D was drugs and drinking but he’s a social drinker (lol)

  180. BerkshireSD says:

    Why do I worry Lisa’s last post helps explain why bob is too busy to check his email? 😮

    Aj, now that I know what was involved you should not pursue it. I would have agreed in advance with you to pay for your hotel room and driving expense at the least. If I liked you, I might have given you something after lunch to show I am interested.

    This guy is not interested or is worthless.

  181. Joules says:

    Thanks for the input. i’m going to work on editing my profile now. Getting pretty dang bored though

  182. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    Good night :)

  183. Bad BB says:

    Atlanta are u still blogging? Have a SD inviting me to Atl… wanted some input…

  184. Bad BB says:

    Good Nite Ladies!! And Lisa please be sure to lock your door!!!

  185. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    Good night Lisa. I get up at 5:15 :( Have to get my son up. He leaves for school at 6:11

  186. claire says:

    its 3:10 in wales uk lol

  187. lisa says:

    Good night sweetredhead and claire. No you aren’t missing anything in Houston. Right now we have several ladies kidnapped outside stores. One found shot last week, another one missing 3 weeks, 2 woman murdered in Galveston. Not a good place.
    I am going to go watch some tv. Gotta get up at 6 am myself and work at 8.

    Good night

  188. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    LMAO so did I. I Forget it’s an hour ahead of me.

  189. claire says:

    oh sorry lol

  190. claire says:

    the time on the blog is wrong i still thought it was 11!

  191. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    I was talking to Lisa

  192. lisa says:

    my downstairs neighbors live piled up 4 adults (2 couples) and 4 kids in a small one bedroom apartment but they have 5 cars amoung them. Two nice trucks that they never drive (keep covered up all the time) an ugly van, and two other cars. The women don’t even know how to drive so you have 2 drivers and 5 cars. One truck has a white cover on it,looks like a body in a morgue from upstairs, lol

  193. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    Night Claire. I should be getting to bed also I have to be to work at 8 also.

  194. claire says:

    houston even! god im tired!

  195. claire says:

    i dont live in huston!

  196. claire says:

    right i have work guys at 8 so i will say good night to everyone xxxx

  197. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    I’ll stick to my own drive way lol. I don’t think I will visit Houston any time soon, the way you describe it lol

  198. claire says:

    yes i know what you many i have my own house an everyone parks outside my house next door have three cars it bugs me when my parents come an they knock an ask to move my their car im like no its outside my house!

  199. lisa says:

    anyway there is no parking at my apartment complex after about 8. There are too many people with several cars that take up all the spaces. If you come home after everyone is in, you gotta park way in the back in the scary area.

  200. claire says:

    lol hey you pick pick up an sd

  201. lisa says:

    then men in my city don’t even want to give you a ride home from work. I used to work late and my then boyfriend could have picked me up (he only lived a mile away) but instead I had to bum a ride from a coworker everynight. He suggested I get a bicycle to ride to and from work, yeah in my neighborhood and with the roads all torn up, I should ride on the freeway, great idea. lol

  202. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    [email protected] BB to funny!

  203. Bad BB says:

    Lisa: Once you get a car you won’t even need a boyfriend! More reliable and offer a smoother ride! lol

  204. claire says:

    well i dont drive, but im learning, thats silly the bfs i have had liked it that i didnt drive as they could pick me up from nights home on go home with them!

  205. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    Joules I would remove the last picture, it is not very flattering.I would also be more positive. You really don’t need to tell about your troubles or your mother. that can be told later when you get to know someone. I would stick to all positive things about yourself not “trying to get my life back together sort of thing” Put what you like, your interests. your goals and leave it at that without going into so much detail.

  206. lisa says:

    I would love to live in London. I haven’t been to Wales but I’ve been to London several times, Europe is great. People over there aren’t looked down on if they don’t have cars. I can’t get a boyfriend because I don’t have a car, how dumb is that

  207. claire says:

    aw hun. id love to go to the states but id have to re train:(

  208. lisa says:

    I avoid my neighbors. They see I live alone and think I’m looking to invite them in. Just because I say hi doesn’t mean I want to go anywhere with them. But they see American citizen, green card opportunity. I stay in my apartment and keep to myself, I dont’ even sit outside.

  209. Bad BB says:

    LOL!!! Sweet Red I hate those situations! Plus the daughter is dating your son!! Ouch! Just be very busy…. all the time! hihihi

  210. claire says:

    lol yes i texted back saying ok come to cardiff tomorrow an we go shopping an then have sex! texted back saying i cant but you come to me an then we can have lots of sex an shopping. i said i think ur looking for an escort not a sugar baby!

  211. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    I invited my new neighbor over today for the party. She has lived here a few months and my son is dating her daughter. We have never actually met. Very nice lady. BUT she stated several times, I am so glad I have a friend now. We can go here and there ect. Whoaaa hold on there missy. How do I get myself into these things.

  212. lisa says:

    run over there right now claire, he wants a booty call. lol this is seekingfreebootycall.com isn’t it? Invite him to your town for shopping and an atm visit, lol

  213. Bad BB says:

    Sweet Red: The message read something about irrelevant photos not being approved… Lies all Lies! lol

    I’m starting to wonder if I look better with a blurry face! Cuz after I send photos … Poof no more SD lmao!!!

  214. claire says:

    what did you say lol. i had a text off him saying sorry for yesterday do i still want to go to london an have sex an cuddle! i have not texted back

  215. lisa says:

    I want a pt cruiser. Actually I would like any car that looks decent and runs. A jaquar or a mercedes would be perfect. Not gonna happen though

  216. Joules says:

    lol SuzieQ…very well put, thanks!

    alrighty then I’ll definately edit that part but before I do so, would you guys mind looking over my profile in its entirity? Please! It’s like a freakin book but I’m just meticulous like that…


  217. Bad BB says:

    Joules: That was my comment sweety and No, once you press send it’s lost in cyberspace somewhere lol! But not to worry you can fix this! Just tell him you check it out and It’s inconvenient! Unless your SD lives in Japan 10 hours for a first meeting is WAY!!!! Unreasonable

  218. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    I want a mustang! I love those cars :)

  219. lisa says:

    I just looked at the profile. One of those great Texas profiles. yaaa! Non paying too.

  220. Bad BB says:

    :( None of my pots e-mailed me today…. Maybe the all went to church lol

  221. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    Just states that you have to have 1 approved photo. Doesn’t say it has to be of you lol

  222. SuzieQ says:

    Joules I agree with Bad BB….why even mention it? To be honest I might think you were reckless or untrustworthy. Just based on first impressions I mean. Like, note to self: do not let this sb drive the lexus!

  223. Joules says:

    Lisa, where I would be going is at least an 8 hour drive by car. The bus would make it what a 10 hour trip at least and (can’t recall if YOU said it or not) but ya, that wouldn’t make for a very perky happy self after that long of a trip lol

    I wonder if deleting a message out of your sent folder, BEFORE IT’S READ, I wonder if that person still gets it or not??! hehe uhhhg, shouldn’t have jumped the gun on this one; feelin kinda retarded now.

  224. Bad BB says:

    Claire: I wrote him a message making fun of his shady profile! He didn’t have the guts to reply but I just couldn’t help myself!

    When I signed up for this site there seemed to be strict policies about approved photos… but unless this guy looks like a plane, something tells me that’s not his face! lol

  225. lisa says:

    Joules dont’ every mention that you don’t have a car if you are looking for a date in my city. I can’t tell you how many times I have met some nice guys and the minute they found out I didn’t have a car, well they weren’t interested. Our nice conversation turned into “I can’t believe you don’t have a car, are you looking for one, etc, etc” “oh my god, you don’t have a car, wow”

  226. Atalanta says:

    Welcome, Joules!!!

    I like the edited version better.
    Besides, your profile is just unsearchable for a day or so.

    Better to put your best foot forward than try to explain later (if you have that second chance)

  227. Bad BB says:

    Joules I like the second one much better but why not remove the totaling your car part?

  228. lisa says:

    Oooh creepy, I just checked out Texas profiles and the guy that used to be my sd has a new profile up (I recognize his word style) but he has changed his name. Odd He seemed like a nice guy.

  229. claire says:

    i just read the blog about the pimp. i just hope some people wont be fool as he could be taking payment

  230. lisa says:

    I think that guy contacted me or someone similiar. It was a long while back when I was getting all those weird responses

  231. Joules says:

    I’m really contemplating on changing this part in my profile:

    “I need a Sugar Daddy close by right now since my travel options are limited as far as meeting and going out until I can get a vehicle of my own. ”

    TO this (or somethin similar):

    Since my travel means are fairly restricted due to me totaling my vehicle last month I would prefer to find a more Local Sugar Daddy. However, I am always interested in being flown out to you as I AM available to travel right now pretty much every day (as long as prior arrangements/agreements are made in order to ‘protect’ me since I would be traveling w/o no vehcle).

    What do you guys think? I’m also concerned that if I edit my profile then it’ll take them forever to approve it and I don’t know if I really want my profile to be ‘unsearchable’ or whatever just to change that sentence.

  232. lisa says:

    I pass the bus station whenever I take the rail to the museums. There are people with everything they own standing outside it, and many newly released prisoners are put on greyhound and sent to HOuston. There is one bus service here that is nice, it is Express which is a Mexican bus company that travels to the Rio Grande Valley and Mexico. Since it doesn’t travel north, and is a little more expensive it isn’t bad. The riders are mostly families or people traveling from HOuston. They have a movie onboard that is in Enlish with Spanish subtitles. Ok for a bus but still along trip and not first class.

  233. SuzieQ says:

    Bad BB – I saw that one a few days ago and thought the same thing. Good thing I don’t consider myself the lingerie model type or I might have fallen for it….lol!!!

  234. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    I see that one, I just laughed

  235. Bad BB says:

    That guy is trying to make porn of something shady 4 sure!

  236. Bad BB says:

    Read this profile!!! What the hell is this guy? Some sort of Pimp?? ewwww

    Hello Ladies,
    I have had such huge success from the use of this website, that I have over 10 of the wealthiest men in Texas asking me to work the magic for them. So instead of creating all those different profiles I thought I would just make one. Big oil, real estate, attorneys, bankers, all total gentleman. If you would like to visit and are money motivated send us a message. Good luck, hope to meet you soon.

    Make $900 a day.
    Lingerie Model Type Wanted
    18+ Must have sense of adventure.
    Love to have fun.
    Love money.

    That’s it!

    Let me know so we can go.

  237. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    I have had to take a bus When one of my flights was canceled and the airlines provided bus services. I got to the bus station and it was horrible! It was from NY to CT.

  238. lisa says:

    sweetredhead, I know. It buys you a decent home in my neighborhood, but then again, you know how my neighborhood is, so I wouldn’t want even a nice house here.
    A potential sd on this site once explained how net worth is defined. He said it is the man’s equity in his home, cars, life insurance policies, property, investments,and cash. So if he is net worth is 100k, it’s doubtful he has any actual cash. Life insurance policies benefit his wife and kids if he dies, not his sb

  239. lisa says:

    and it’s easier to freshen up in an airport restroom than one in a busstation where you have all kinds of people. I have taken the bus before for short trips to the valley and there were homeless people in the bathrooms, washing their hair and all.

  240. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    $100,000 for a house? That’s a shack!

  241. lisa says:

    my favorites are the married ones with kids that make 75K and have net worth of 100k (mostly likely their homes) and have a budget of 10k a month.

  242. Bad BB says:

    Joules: I agree with Lisa. If he does those things you will be sure hat he is serious and really wants to meet you. And personally I hate taking the bus!! He should be willing to accommodate you to the fullest so as to make the entire experience enjoyable for you… You could always check out the price of plane tickets online and let him know the difference between the flight and the bus… I’m sure the difference isn’t ENORMOUS … tell him you would rather fly down because after a long bus ride you probably won’t be up for much fun ! :)

  243. OCSugarBaby says:

    Aj-I think you were 100% spot on about the Thursday night SD. Cheap is not an SD quality that will change over time. If that was his best foot forward, you would be in for a bumpy ride. You WILL find the one that has Chemistry. I would toss him back, he will make a lovely SD for someone else. Chemistry is everything! Never settle.

  244. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    Go all out Send a Limo sheeh. I don’t understand some of these men. Do they not get the concept of this site? I mean really… They make 75,000 a year (stated in profile) married with kids and expect to be able to support an SB relationship. What the heck are they thinking.

  245. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    SuzieQ very nice profile. I would not change a thing.

  246. lisa says:

    Joules I understand about the transportation thing as I don’t have a car myself and getting to the airport in my city is harder than getting to the bus station but as a potential sd, he should be able to provide a taxi to pick you up to and from. I know that whenever we traveled to my hometown in Indiana, we could fly to Louisville and take a taxi to our town. If you town doesn’t have taxi service, then he should send a taxi to pick you up, afterall he is supposed to be impressing you. I just see the bus as time consuming depending on how far you are going and more like the transportation of a runaway teenager, or in my town, the route of the newly released prisoners, than the way a sb should be treated. You should be traveling in comfort and class

  247. SuzieQ says:

    Sorry, I should give my profile # again for easier reference: 297329

  248. Joules says:

    Lisa, as for the bus ticket, it was his suggestion initially. The closest airport to me in over an hour away where as the bus station is like 20 min away. I doubt I’d be able to find anyone to take me to the airport as easily as the bus station since I just totaled my car.

    Also, I already told him that a bus ticket was ok with me (because it is) BUT the more I think about it, with it being the first meeting, the more wierd it sounds hehehe Maybe I should just write him back and be like, ‘It just dawned on me that maybe you were talking about a bus ticket straight from here to there; I thought you meant a bus ticket from here to the Airport!’ lol I dunno, think i might’ve screwed myself on this one already.

    Motel v/s Hotel, that was just poor choice of words on my end but thank you for the correction!

  249. SuzieQ says:

    Thank you gentlemen for your feedback on my profile. I hadn’t realized it was coming across that way. I had hoped it would show that I was intelligent and motivated and that I was open to learning and becoming more worldly.

    Truth be told I am independent, driven and simply want to become successful in my own right too. Do people think that is a big turn off for a pot sd? So many seem to want more substance as it were. At least they say they do.

    I don’t want to “dumb myself down.” But any suggestions on how I might better phrase this to remain honest yet not scare away any sd’s who think I only want them to invest in a shady business op?

    Ladies, your perspective might be helpful too, especially if you’ve had more experience than I…which it sounds like many of you have.

    Thanks everyone, looking forward to this adventure!

  250. Bad BB says:

    Time is Money!! Don’t waste it on him!

  251. Bad BB says:

    AJ I do think your right about this one! Cheap is a characteristic that a SD cannot afford to have LOL (nice play on words hihi!) First impressions are crucial! If he didn’t make a good first impression then too bad for him… NEXT!

  252. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    I think these Sd’s would just take the time to know who we are. AND we take the time to talk to them instead of just going my a picture or a profile. I think we would all be in a happier place. I have read profiles on here and thought he sounds perfect, but then he turns out to be a fool. I have also have looked at profiles and passed them up, but they happen to send me a note and I talk to them and they are nothing like what I thought. I am starting to doubt my ability to read between the lines.

  253. aj says:

    Lisa – yep that is what I am saying. He should have offered…and to be honest I would not have taken it. It’s the thought that counts.

  254. claire says:

    yes plenty of more fish or in our csse sd out there :)

  255. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    Poor guy ran from my honesty :( Oh well. I have a lot to offer an SD. If they can’t see it then they are not worth my time :)

  256. lisa says:

    aj, if he was a gentleman, he would have reimbursed you for your expenses and paid for your hotel. Sounds like the meal cost you quite a bit with traveling expenses.

  257. lisa says:

    You scared him away, lol
    I had a couple of incidents where a guy sent me an email, I clicked to read his profile, it said pending. I checked back later and the profiles had been denied due to unsuitable content. I wonder what that was all about and i’m sure I missed some great guys there, lol

  258. aj says:

    BerkSD – I did travel quite far to meet this potsd, paid all my own expenses (including hotel) and probably ended up spending three times what he did…so I’m just saying I’m not about to do that again as there was no chemistry. Plus, he could have at least acknowledged the investment (time and money) I put into meeting him. I thanked him several times for the meals and drinks. I appreciate your input, but trust my own instincts on this one – he is not for me :)

  259. claire says:

    lol if he cant handle the heat get out of the fire lol

  260. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    Guess he didn’t like my reply lol

  261. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    hmmm his account was deleted lmao

  262. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    That’s really strange, the email I got and my response disappeared.

  263. lisa says:

    He contacted me from this blog a few days ago and wanted to meet right away. I prefer to chat first and he agreed but we won’t be able to till he gets back in his town (he says on his profile he lives in my city but he actually doesn’t). He gave me his number but I can’t call because I don’t have long distance service on my phone and will give him my number but he hasn’t even read my last email yet and won’t till wednesday. I try to get him to come back on the blog too but he doesn’t

  264. claire says:

    yes that is odd. id check my emails when i got back! if he is on business then you would think he take a blackberry or laptop incase a client mailed. very odd

  265. lisa says:

    Claire, I have never known a man who traveled on business to not have a laptop or a blackberry. My last boyfriend used to travel out of the country and always emailed me from the airport,his hotel room, etc. This man cannot even check his email till the day after he gets back. Odd.

  266. lisa says:

    Joules, Why can’t he arrange a flight for you? And a Hotel rather than a motel? I can understand if you or he lives in a small town and there isn’t any airport but if either of you live in an area served by an airline, why not fly? I am from a small town where there is no airport but there is a town close enough with an airport. Can’t he fly you to the nearest city with an airport and then arrange taxi or shuttle to his town?

  267. claire says:

    lisa i think thats really odd surely there are internet cafes or im sure that he could use a laptop or something you think he would take one with him. my ex bf went traveling to india an he used an internet cafe to email me every day lol

  268. BerkshireSD says:

    You girls are going to face a lot of disappointments along the way.

    Aj I think you made a mistake deciding right away the guy was cheap. The guy showed up and paid for things.

    Give a relationship a chance to develop. Its not going to cost you anything but suffering through another nice free meal and in the meantime you are meeting others.

  269. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    I am always polite, But I have the ability to tell you like it is and still have my dignity intact and hold my temper. I am not the type of person to yell or scrap. I tell it like it is and prefer someone who will tell me like it is. I Love a good debate. I difference of opinion can be a good thing if you are open and honest enough to listen and be listened to. I have often learned my opinions are wrong, and yes I will admit it if I feel I was wrong. Or you can show me how I was wrong by talking to me about it. I will listen. But if you yell at me tell me I am wrong without explaining your point, I will shut down and not listen to what you have to say. That to me is sad. Because I think we learn a lot by listening.

  270. claire says:

    yes i agree i think he should buy the ticket for you then if its goes wrong your not the one who has paid the money an wasted it! :)

  271. lisa says:

    I agree these guys expect us to drop everything and be able to travel. They forget we are not rich like them and have jobs that are not flexible.
    That sd that I have been in contact from the blog wants someone to see on weekends and who can travel for a week at a time. I can’t do either so I wonder how it will work. Well he just wants to get some advice from me about being a sd, I don’t think he thinks of me as a potential as I am too old, he’s around my age and probably wants a 20 year old. I do find it odd that he can’t acess his email over the next few days while he is traveling.

  272. Joules says:

    hey guys! I just joined about a week ago and this is my second time checkin out the blog. I’m not sure if i’m really on tha same subject here with you guys but i have a question (or two or three or however many it turns into!)….

    I read the other day in a blog on here a lady talkin about her pot SD wantin to fly her into his state for their first meet and i think the final thought on the matter was for the pot SD to send her the money and let her buy the round-trip ticket (and maybe a hotel room, not sure about that though as I do tend to mix up comments from one person to the next lol).

    anyways, my Pot SD is talkin about the same concept, only a bus ticket. Which, I absolutely have ZERO problem with as I just took a bus from KC, MO to E. TN like 2 wks ago and rather enjoyed myself. But I mean, I’d really like to see where all of this goes and I’m ALL ABOUT traveling (I just totaled my car the first time around trying to get back from KC, MO to TN) so I can’t exactly travel easily yet. Soooo, this leaves me looking for input! I was thinking surely it wouldn’t sound too bad of me if I simply told him I AM comfortable with that, just as long as he sends me the money so I can purchase a round-trip ticket (as someone on here said, worst-case scenario so he can’t cancel it on me) and a motel paid in advance before I leave so I can verify such arrangements have been made?!

    This will be my first meeting with anyone as far as the SD thing goes (sorry if that was worded poorly!) and I’m beyond excited about it and want everything to go just fine and for me to be safe and taken care of, in all aspects. Also, I’m getting ready to go back up through here to try and read responses to this current blog but ya, how do i bring up the financial issues? If you guys want, check out my profile, the financial part….cuz that way you can get a better idea of my current situation and what my financial ‘requirements’ are (again, sorry if i’m using bad wording on this, just correct me if so!).

    Thanks in advance!!!

  273. aj says:

    Feistyredhead – Lol! Agreed :)

  274. claire says:

    how do i get my pic to show up?

  275. claire says:

    how do i get my pic to show up?

  276. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    Changing my call sign tonight to Feistyredhead

  277. claire says:

    lol sweetredhead! im a fellow red head an im the same! i sent a mail saying that thanks for wasting my time an i felt that if you werent keen then you should have been a man an told me. hope it werent too harsh lol

  278. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    My feeling on that is. If they truly want to meet me and are interested, then they can come to me. Many men say they want a intelligent, educated woman. Well Let me be the first to tell all you SD’s that intelligent, educated women WORK. We can’t just drop everything and fly around the world with you.

    Wow I am feisty tonight. Welcome to the real me lol

  279. claire says:

    aw thanks everyone. yes i think everyone is right he was the 1st guy i was going to meet but im going to learn from it. an get them to impress me!

  280. lisa says:

    Claire, they should always come to meet you for the first meeting. If they expect you to travel after that, they pay.

    Glad the party went well. I just finished doing some cleaning. I am in the process of getting rid of hundreds of magazines. I have around 20 subscriptions that I get for free and they have piled up. I’m taking a stack out every day, have about 80 left to go. Wish I could take them to a recycling bin but they’re too heavy to carry so in the trash they go.

  281. Bad BB says:

    SweetRed: Glad your party was a success! I could really use a margarita right now lol!!

  282. Bad BB says:

    AJ I agree with you 100%! On any first date the guy should go out of his way to impress you especially if he is trying to be your SD!! I have yet to go one a date with a SD from the site… A few pots seem interesting but I believe in “beating the iro when it’s hot” not all these e-mails, e-mails, e-mails! Ugh! Would the real SD PLEASE stand up!! LOL

    Claire – That really bites but mama always said everything happens for a reason so he probably was a creep!

  283. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    The party was fun :) Everyone came around 2pm and just left a little while ago. I just finished cleaning up. ( I clean as I go) Everyone had a wonderful time, I am pleased.

  284. claire says:

    yes i think im going to say that now. it would have been a waste of three hours!. Would you suggest that they come to meet me?

  285. lisa says:

    Claire, that’s why I would never(and can’t) travel to meet a sd. At least if they stand me up in my own town, I can get home quickly

  286. lisa says:

    Good evening Sweetredhead How’s the party going?

  287. claire says:

    hi girls yes it does i was so pissed off. what pissed me off more is im from wales an he is in london so i was leaving for london! im glad i found out what he is like now

  288. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    Sam I totally agree with you. (I know shocked me too lol) This is the approach I fist was making and it got me no where. I was accused of being only concerned with money. That is not the case. I wanted a traditional SD/Sb relationship. But it seems the idea of the traditional has changed. At least with the men I have talked to. I have had to alter my thinking and adjust. I still believe in the traditional, maybe one day I will have the ultimate situation that I was looking for.

    I have taken into consideration all that is said here, the expectations ect and have come up with my own little concoction of what will make me happy. I still know what I ultimately want and when I find a man that can provide me with it (the traditional) I will be open and honest with what I am looking for.

  289. lisa says:

    sorry about that Claire but at least you lost him early before he wasted any more of your time.

  290. aj says:

    Claire – that sucks! :( his loss…

  291. lisa says:

    Good evening everyone. Home from a tiring day at work. One coworker was sick and called in, so more work for me to do. Just finished cleaning my apartment. Having some dinner now. No word from Bob yet. He still hasn’t read my last email. I don’t want to judge him but I would feel better if he would come onto the blog and talk to us here. Odd that he can’t access the internet too. Most businessmen stay wired even when they travel on business, laptop or blackberry. He said he will be back from his trip tuesday but won’t be able to check email till wednesday morning so I don’t know. Makes me wonder.

    Gail I guess you girls had a great time in Vegas, i’m so jealous

  292. claire says:

    sorry spell type to quick!

  293. claire says:

    hi i thanks for the adive henrilouis, the date did not go he texted me all moring then just when i was about to leave the hosue to meet he cancel as i said i was about to leave in see him soon sp i left then like half hour later he texted saying he left his phone in the house. so i texted an said thats fine are we still on an had no reply so i went back home as it was too late anyway an have not heard off him. i think he was a bad sd. which really bugged me as he couldnt stop texting me all friday an thursday

  294. aj says:

    Bad BB- Yes! He sent a pic…It wasn’t so much his looks as it was small other things…like ordering the cheapest champagne on the menu, taking me to an ok restaurant instead of an outstanding one…that kind of stuff. I guess I just feel that a SD should put his best foot forward in the beginning and if that is his BEST then that’s probably not going to work out for me. Not being boastful, but why do I want to go backwards? He was plenty nice and kind though and I’m certain he will find a SB that appreciates him for who he is. Isn’t that what we all are seeking?

  295. Bad BB says:

    Well at least you broke the ice right! And trust me it’s not worth receiving the material things without the chemistry … I had a bad experience like that in the past. But the SD you met had he not sent you a pic before meeting? And is it just me or is there a little Houdini in every SD?

  296. aj says:

    Bad BB – hello to you too :) Well lets see…Thursday night date went ok. Just met for drinks. He was surprised at how much he liked me and how intelligent I was (hmmm…i think that was a compliment lol). I wasn’t particularly attracted to him but decided that it would not hurt to do lunch. Lunch was ok as well. He was kind, thoughtful and we enjoyed each others company. He’s offered me an apt. and car…but…I just don’t feel it??? So I have not talked to him since yesterday and think I am just going to be honest and politely decline. I’m not looking to use someone if the connection is not there…you know?

    Friday night date was a no call, no email, no show. That really pissed me off! I ended up going out and met a couple of nice rich men who bought me drinks and were very fun to hang around. Still texting with one of them, but I don’t feel there is true SD potential. Always good to have good friends in high places though!

  297. Bad BB says:

    AJ – How’s it Going? Glad to see you! How was your dates? Exciting? Promising? or just Dismissing?

  298. Bad BB says:

    Scheduled dates are the best way to ensure we each have our space. Some men will want to meet one a month, others once a week… It might sound a bit to organized but it allows the relationship to grow without disrupting your life obligations…

    Gifts are personal and it really depends o the SD. After getting to know him a little you should be in a position to figure out what he would appreciate receiving as a gift.

    Well I have ONLY ever dated older men than myself and conversation will flow as with any other male. When in the first stages I tend to ask a lot of questions and find out what they are passionate about. Every man has that one topic of conversation that will have him running his mouth like there is no tomorrow! And I love sitting there and soaking up the knowledge! Age never played a major role on my relationships I think because men are often so young at heart you will sometimes find THEM to be acting immature despite the 15-20 years he has on you! But if all this fails : POLITICS!! Always a good plan B lol!

    My SD will be considered as a friend and not a business transaction! I will treat the arragement as a relationship but put boundaries to prevent myself from getting emotionally attached. Never meeting friends or family members is a good trick and don’t let yourself become dependent on your SD. Dependency is often mistaken for love. Make sure you maintain a healthy life and don’t compromise your other relationships for this one…

    I guess that’s it!! We should be the ones writing the next Book! LOL

  299. Bad BB says:

    Getting Tested: Very necessary!! But not together. I don’t see this as a fun field trip. We can both get tested on our own and bring the results to show each other.

    As for the Baby Mama Drama: I don’t see the use of discussing what to “do” if the SB get’s prego… It is more important to practice safe sex and use the necessary contraceptives to avoid being in such a dilemma. However if it does occur, the situation should be handled then and there and not before. Children are rarely planned and even if a woman agreed to have an abortion 3 months ago, if she gets pregnant today she still has the right to change her mind.

  300. Bad BB says:

    First Date: Should be somewhere unusual to really break the ice. A hot air Balloon ride, Horse Back riding or hiking … we have all done the restaurant thing, this date should show the baby the difference between a SD first date and a regular first date.

    I don’t think it matters who brings up the monetary arrangement first but as a baby I prefer to be the one bringing it up. It’s a bit of a delicate conversation but who ever brings it up first wins! Ladies try to have the upper hand!

    I accept cash, debit, visa, master, amex, western union …. but not paypal… too tacky lol!!

    Sexxxx: Now this is my favorite part! I have never and will never discuss sex before having it! That is too presumptuous for me. If I don’t want to have sex with you I just won’t no matter how much you have just spent on me! Sex should come naturally and we are not “hoeing” are selves out here so why the formality? I can’t even imagine myself saying: “well I’m only going to sex you after I get a gift or some money!” WTF!! Treat this like any other date and have sex when your good and ready. Remember Babies : No means No!!! lmao!!

  301. aj says:

    Well hello sugars! Sorry I have been MIA…Had my first sugar date (actually we had two dates) but I do not see it going really anywhere…

    Sam – I have to agree with you. I believe chemistry is a must but there seems to be a lot of wasted time and money if the SD cannot or chooses not to provide what a SB needs and/or wants. Plus for many SB’s chemistry is enhanced when SD meets and exceeds her expectations! Ok maybe that’s just me!

    21 questions???!!!!

    I better get to work.

  302. Bad BB says:

    Hello everyone! Hope the week-end has been fabulous so far!!

    Henri: That song came out way more than a few years ago lol!!

    Meghan: I gave you some advice on jazzing up your profile yesterday… your profile is boring and lacks substance especially for a young 18 year old! Try to sound more lively and less like you just want cash and will do pretty much anything for it. What are you talking about when you say you are willing to work hard?? This is not a job sweety! I would remove the part about this not being a “serious relationship” if you want to be taken seriously. Why on earth would you be working hard for something that is not serious?? If I was a SD your profile would not leave a lasting impression on me… sorry But the pics are nice…

    Bon!! Now for those 21 questions!!

  303. Sam 267369 says:

    Of course we all want chemistry, but my point is that the ordering of finances first makes more rational sense. I guess I have little time for the irrational approaches when they take up so much time. 😉

    But everybody has their own approach…

  304. SuthrnExec says:

    Sam, I understand your position and can appreciate it but I prefer to take the chemistry-first approach. And perhaps SBs that take that approach DO know what they want – chemistry! My observation has been that if the chemistry is there, the adjustments will take place more than likely in favor of the SB but not because of their demands.

    Suzie, welcome – glad you took the brave step of coming out of lurk-hood! I’m sure the feedback offered from the good folks here will be helpful – but as Henri said, just remember it is only an opinion.

    Good luck!

  305. HenriLouis*294522 says:

    Hi Suzie Quatro,
    Welcome to the circle of friendship.
    I had a good look at your profile. A great read so to speak, words flow so easily.
    But I agree with SD, there is a twist in the tale.
    A conversation, a letter, a text of the profile should end in a happy note, sunshine on the page.
    The end of your profile does not leave me with happy vibes. Too commercial really with investments and real estate. Looking for Donald Trump here ?
    Better refrase this. But after all it is just MY opinion.

  306. Sam 267369 says:

    I seem to be the person who disagrees with the conventional wisdom about not talking about the financial arrangement until there is chemistry. Chemistry is highly variable, but the financial requirement is not — it is quite black and white. So it is a better filter, and more rationally dealt with right up front. Otherwise it seems like a lot of time will be wasted.

    Maybe one explanation for the popularity of the “chemistry first” approach for many SBs the financial arrangement is highly variable depending on chemistry. But that is a warning flag for me. I want somebody who knows what they want. Adjustment for chemistry can happen after. Otherwise you create “hidden” expectations and SA, to me, is all about being honest up front – with your potential partner AND yourself.

  307. HenriLouis*294522 says:

    Wasn’t there are song a few years ago “let’s talk about sex baby”?
    For me it is simple to tell her that I do not have any expectations or a wishlist with pyrotechniques. We will just have a good time together.
    We will be like a happy couple and also in bed. I am an attentive lover.
    Most girls do not even know what that is.
    Will we be intimate before or after financial benefits. Lots of girls here on the blog have expressed their fear that they might be taken advantage of and that is why they expect some sugar upfront. I am a natural giver and if I have come to trust her, I will do so out of my own accord.
    Should we be tested together ? Very simple, I am clean. So let us have this test. This means that we exchange the result of the test lab.
    Most girls will find my openness an eye opener.
    Pregnantcy is no issue. Today a woman decides to get pregnant, she stops using the pill. In the old days “accidents” happened, but these times are over. I cannot imagine any girl wishing to become pregnant in an SD/SB relationship and certainly not by me.
    How to give each other space ? Well, we meet now and then, the time in between seems to me this “space”.
    What are appropriate gifts ? It implies that there are also inappropriate gifts ?! Gifts are any object that will please my SB, it might range from a Valentine’s Card to a pink Bentley Coupe’ or a plane ticket to Malawi and what about the adoption of a penguin young ? (yes, it’s true and there is a
    webcam placed near the nest, so you can observe it).
    Techniques for remaining emotionally detached? If I am intimate with my Sb I care about her a lot. I want to reach out to her and make her happy.
    I do not wish to be detached, in that case I would not care for her at all.
    I know it will not last forever, so I wish to savour every second.
    What do I talk about with a girl who is significantly younger than I am ?
    I believe we will enjoy a conversation on subjects that she is interested in
    art, literature, music anything really. This age difference will make the conversation so stimulating. Mostly they are so passionate about their viewpoints. What do you talk about with an older woman, her ailments ? I really could not say.
    When my SB steps into my life I will consider it a relationship and offer her an exceptional time, body and soul.

  308. BerkshireSD says:

    Put the second pic in the black dress first. The third to second position.

    I am a little put off by references to help with business/investing or acheiving success. I expect to be hit up for an investment in some sham.

  309. BerkshireSD says:

    I’d go for you as is.

  310. SuzieQ says:

    Hello everyone, I’m new here but you all seem like a friendly bunch so I thought I would stop lurking and formally introduce myself.

    I’ve been here about two weeks and have had a couple of creepy offers, a couple of emails expressing interest but then nothing back to my replies, and have sent quite a few emails that haven’t yet been opened.

    I’ve read that there are men who are looking for a more mature sb, but I’m not sure where they are. Also, I seem to be at a fair distance geographically from almost everyone else on this site (don’t know the workings of that!) and I’m not sure how much that is impacting my success.

    However, being a positive, pro-active person, I thought I’d take a page from Meghan’s book – did I spell that right? 😉 – and offer up my profile for a hopefully not-too-scathing review. Any comments on what I might be doing right or wrong? 297329

    Thanks everyone!

  311. BerkshireSD says:

    Solution Lovey: Just put your hourly rate in your profile. :p

  312. BlkButtafly~264118~ says:

    I talk about whatever I want to with my SD as long as it doesn’t make him uncomfortable. I mean the best part about me is my ability to speak my mind and hold a conversation so I’m not going to hold back.
    So far, I’ve been treating it like a relationship and so has he. I don’t see a problem treating it as both though.

    Phew! Ok I think I answered them all :-)

  313. BlkButtafly~264118~ says:

    Going to get tested together would be cool if it were easy to coordinate your schedules to do so.
    Plans should definitely be made in advance in case a SB becomes pregnant. Though personally I think that situation can be avoided altogether when discussing protection.
    The best way to give each other the space you desire is to I guess talk about it since in these types of relationships all of the cards are laid out on the table.
    I think perfect gifts for an SB to give her SD are personal ones, such as anything to do with his favorite hobbies or anything that may have to do with an inside joke you guys share.
    I guess my personal technique for staying emotionally detached is having a boyfriend. It seems as if I attract married SDs so they rarely care if I have someone else too.

  314. lovey 287710 says:

    well I am hoping my modifiying my profile I can spearhead this thing.

  315. NC Gentleman says:

    Hi lovey — I found my first SB in about 2 days — got super lucky. It took me about 9 months to find my second. I have been looking for my 3rd for about 5 months now, and I have a promising “date” in a week. So it just depends on how lucky (or unlucky) you get.

    Meghan – my first SB and I didn’t have sex until after several dates. It should happen when you are both comfortable. This isn’t sex for money — it is a mutually beneficial relationship — so it should be just like any other relationship, in my opinion.

  316. BlkButtafly~264118~ says:

    But I don’t think you should have sex on a 1st date because of the gift. I was just giving an example of a small financial benefit.

  317. BlkButtafly~264118~ says:

    Ok deep breath here are my answers:
    I think a 1st date should be at a restaurant or some nice public place.
    The SD should bring up the money question.
    You should start negotiating finances when it’s obvious there is a connection.
    For tax purposes, I think cash is better.
    I think you should discuss sex expectations whenever the time is right.
    I think maybe sex should come after a small financial benefit i.e. a gift on the 1st date.

  318. lovey 287710 says:

    thats a good idea BlkButtafly

  319. lovey 287710 says:

    so whats the average time for someone to find the man they want?

  320. BlkButtafly~264118~ says:

    Hmmm you might be able to weed some of those guys out, lovey, by saying you want or prefer an experienced SD.

  321. BlkButtafly~264118~ says:

    I liked your last statement on your profile Meghan that if there are no sparks there is no point. Very well put. Oh and welcome to the sugar fam!

  322. lovey says:

    I seem to be attracting people that think this is a prostitution web site and they ask what my hourly rate is! the nerve! there have been a handful of nice gentlemen that I have talked to but for one reason or another it hasnt worked out. once I find my SD he will be a happy man, not sure where he is though……………..

  323. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    Off to the Shower for me. I have everything ready for the party. House clean, food prepared. Table and chairs set up. I am tired and it hasn’t even started yet lol.

    Now to be the perfect hostess :)

  324. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    I meant you don’t have to justify the amount you want. It’s what you set your goal too.

  325. BlkButtafly~264118~ says:

    Good day sugars! I’m finally rolling out of the bed to have some spicy Italian pizza I made with a side of Caesar salad! Mmmm. Anyway I hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday! I should be meeting up with my new SD around 2 today. It’s our 2nd date and should include some shopping! Woo hoo! Lol take care!

  326. SuthrnExec & OCSugarbaby says:

    NC, (SE here) thanks man. I’m not sure I deserve OC – I’m probably very fortunate I don’t get what I deserve, but I am very grateful that she is willing to put up with me! I’m sure yours is out there – hang in there.

  327. Meghan says:

    thanks, i shall change my I’s into capital I’s. Some are, some aren’t. I will do that once more people have commented, because as we all know it takes about 12 hours for the profile to be approved. I have a few questions, I have been reading the blog for a few days and I have concluded the following.
    1) Don’t settle for less (thank you lisa).
    2) No financial aid = no sex. Society used to have a 3 date rule (before having sex), since there is money (gifts or something like that) would the 3 date rule apply, or would it be shortened. SB’s how long did you wait before being intimate with your SD?
    When asking to discuss an allowance, wait for the 2nd – 3rd date.
    3) I have had men message me, they sound serious. I spoke on the phone with one of them, he asked what type of arrangement would you be looking for? i said well why dont we see if we have chemistry first and then from there, we’ll decide what’s best for us. He has seen my profile, so by emailing me does that mean he accepts the fact that the arrangement would be from 5-10g’s?

    What about the change of pictures?

    Redhead, I’m not quite sure what you mean, I understand that you wrote I should be more discreet about what I want, but when you said I dont need to justify what i deserve, I don’t. Are you saying I don’t deserve it or that I dont need to mention it for other reasons?

  328. NC Gentleman says:

    Hi SE and OCSB — sounds like you two are having a great time. You give me inspiration that I will find a great match for me! You two are great and deserve each other!

    Meghan — a lower case “i” doesn’t bother me, but I know there are some people (including potential SDs) that it drives absolutely nuts! It is something that I have noticed in profiles of younger SBs, so if you are trying to set yourself apart, maybe you might want to consider changing it. Best wishes in your search!

  329. bostonTerrier says:

    :( and i spelled your name wrong meghan, sorry!

  330. bostonTerrier says:

    megan i think you’re profile is fine and it will definitely weed out the guys who wouldn’t be capable of providing what you are looking for. it seems honest and straight to the point which is good. other than that, either keeping the writing *entirely* in lowercase eliminates the capital letter problem that people keep mentioning in your profile.

  331. SuthrnExec & OCSugarbaby says:

    Good morning sugar land! SE here – Great questions – won’t take time to answer them now but the foundation for all those is good communication and chemistry. It’s gotta be there or there will be disappointment.

    Hope everyone’s sunday is wonderful one!

  332. sweetredhead...*269443* says:

    Megan capitalize you I’s. I think you need to state what you want a little more hmmm,,, discreetly. Saying what you deserve seems to me that you are trying to justify what you are looking for, YOU DON’T. Stating the amount you want in that section is enough, they know what you want. Just my opinion :)

  333. Meghan says:

    good morning everyone, i shall reply to the questions a little bit later, here is my profile number 296942 so if you guys could give me comments and tips once again (since i changed it) it would be great. be honest.

  334. HenriLouis*294522 says:

    Hello Stephan,
    You really put so many questions in front of me, I’m afraid it would become too long, so will cut it up in palatable portions.
    A good place for a first date is to me somehere in public in a cafe’ or in a restaurant. First date is to get to know me en her. I find it worthwhile to
    spend time on her and really be interested in her. I wish her to do the talking. Women talk much when they feel at ease, comes natural to them.
    Later she will have a very good feeling about our first date.
    It goes without saying, I know from the initital e-mail messages and telephone conversations that I am genuinly interested in her. This is the reason to arrange a greet and meet. I know a nice place in Amsterdam the terrace of a hotel overlooking the wide canal.
    You reach it by stepping into a watertaxi that delivers you at the terrace.
    Great and surprising first impression of our date.
    As to the money questions it is better to touch upon this subject at a later stage. In my opinion she should be prepared so I will tell her in my e-mail for the next meeting. After we have settled down, I simply say: now tell me about your expectations of any support. Then she will lay her cards on the table. She will have clearly drawn the limitations herself.
    I am always sensible and talk about it seriously to make sure, this is what she really wants. Recently there was a young girl that had not the slightest idea, she wanted my help and we discussed it beforehand by mail. It came down to the fact that she wanted to go shopping with me, she wanted to buy all the clothess and lingery girls dream of. As a mentor I told her she could also ask for cash. The reaction was “blush” I do not have any idea.
    So I translated her shoppinglist into one amount, suddenly sugar seemed more attractive. Yes, it is important to know where she stands.
    This was the end of it. I believe she benefitted from this experince.
    For me it is not a taxdeductable, so I leave it up to her how to receive sugar.
    The sex (blush, blush, blush) questions I leave for this evening.

  335. He'sAHotSB says:


    I never knew SutExe and OCSug. were couples!!!

    hehehehehe :)


    I’m sick of the SDs that reply to me!!! then I reply!!! then they don’t reply!!!

    :( !!!