9 years ago
Undercover Sugar



While more and more people are becoming comfortable with the concept of having an ‘arrangement’, the stigma of sugar still has enough bite to keep many of us on the Sweet’N Low (SL).

Whether you need the privacy or not, you may discover that keeping things on the SL is more work than play.

“I, like other SB’s know how “to do the pretty” as they say; how to comport ourselves in public/social situations. And we all know the value of discreetness.” BondieNYC

Some reasons why a sugar may be on the SL are because they:

*Are in a committed relationship

*Are straight seeking same sex arrangements (or a ‘beard‘ of the opposite sex)

*Keep it hush hush for the kid(s)

*Have more fun when it’s ‘forbidden’

Since each of us have our own opinion, let’s remember that we’re all in this sugarbowl together…

“I will always use the rule of thumb that if someone comes out and asks for feedback it will be given *with sugar of course.” OCSugarBaby

Other than the sugar family, who do you talk openly with about your experiences with SD’s and SB’s? 

How discreet are you willing to be for a sugar? Would you be willing to be introduced as their boy/girlfriend?

Is their more excitement and/or giving in discreet arrangements?

Are discreet profile photo’s (with eye’s and/or face hidden) more alluring? 


Leave a Reply

1,348 Responses to “Undercover Sugar”

  1. dreamer says:

    mmm i dont have a problem with being descreet if thats what the person wants
    as long as hes happy im happy

  2. Mike says:

    Is the advanced search function broke? I have been specifically searching for one thing and it gives me EVERYTHING. It’s been doing it for a couple of days now.

  3. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    I’m in and out, RedMaru…. there’s a new blog. Move over there! Less loading time! :)

  4. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Hey VillaCypris
    Hey again bob I was starting to think no one was here!!!

  5. bob says:

    hey redmaru

  6. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    There is new blog topic posted!!!!

  7. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    There is new blog topic posted!!!!

  8. RedMaru *210789* says:

    jsmn…I just read bout your horrible date sorry bout that(hugs)

  9. RedMaru *210789* says:

    I see its on preferred mode of gift….
    Well mine are cash, gift cards, direct deposit, and wire.
    Hey Panther, Jai, and bob

  10. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Hey sugars and welcome to any new people I’m back what I miss?

  11. Panther SD says:

    girlie – Yes the envelope has gotten a bad name. Cash in an envelope gives the impression of something…. illegal. 😉

  12. bob says:

    Jai you have a butt load of mail comming

  13. bob says:

    I will take any form of payment the SB’s on here want to give me. Cash Credit, Etc… All works for me.

  14. girlie says:

    I should clarify. I don’t mind cash in hand once we get to know each other…..there’s just an awkwardness I dislike in the beginning.

  15. Jai says:

    Lol girlie. See? It’s up to the individual. Because I don’t get a set allowance and we spend so much time together, cash works best :)

  16. Jai says:

    I’m not that experienced Panther, but I’ve received cash from my SD and that’s what he prefers. I don’t mind it either :) I think it depends on the individual. For out of state relationships/arrangements, the bank account set up or a prepaid credit card would probably work best.

  17. girlie-216076 says:

    Back at home. Good afternoon, sugars!

    My current SD has been emailing me the funds though it may be a Canadian thing only. It’s done through our 5 major banks and allows it to go right into my acct…..very much like a transfer. I also love gift cards since I work in a mall and it allows me to shop at lunch hour and buy things in the store I work in.

    Prepaid Visa/ MC are also lovely and I have received those in the past.

    Anything but an envelope of cash :)

  18. Panther SD says:

    Ok –

    How do th Sbs here perfer to receive financial gifts? Do you perfer cash, check, money order, Western Union, direct deposit or wire transfer?

    This is interesting to me since most of the Sbs I have dealt with in the past are from out of state. One Sb banked at the same bank I did so it was easy to transfer money to her account and was instant. Another SB was not as sophisticated and accepted money orders.

    I absolutely refsue Western Union requests of anykind.

    After a year of trail and error I typically push for gift cards, transfers or money orders.


  19. Panther SD says:

    Ok –

    How do th Sbs here perfer to receive financial gifts? Do you perfer cash, check, money order, Western Union, direct deposit or wire transfer?

    This is interesting to me since most of the Sbs I have dealt with in the past are from out of state. One Sb banked at the same bank I did so it was easy to transfer money to her account and was instant. Another SB was not as sophisticated and accepted money orders.

    I absolutely refsue Western Union requests of anykind.

    After a year of trail and error I typically push for gift cards, transfers or money orders.


  20. Jai says:

    You choose Panther SD :) Let’s get something going though

  21. Panther SD says:

    Ok ladies what is the topic for today?

  22. Jai says:

    I haven’t gotten anything bob-o. Try sending me a regular email. If I can get that, then it’s the file.

  23. Jai says:

    Really jsmn? Ugh, why would he even show his face if planned on behaving that way? Weird. Sucks you had to waste your time.

    I’ll check bob-o :)

  24. jsmn.308878 says:

    Jai…it was much worse than that lol.

  25. bob says:

    Jai did you get mail

  26. Jai says:

    Aw jsmn, that’s terrible. It’s good that you found out prior to getting serious with him. Count it a blessing :)

  27. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    I thought so Suthrn! You are amongst the “enlightened” men who “get it”. :)

  28. jsmn.308878 says:

    Thanx to all the guys who responded…I didn’t feel like sending this message individually but….

    He kept looking at me like he was a kid in a candy store. I literally thought he would drool.

    I think it upset him that I wouldn’t engage him in a sexual conversation after he made comments about “sexual experience.” I ignored those comments. I thought it was somewhat inappropriate at that time.

    He made conversation very awkward and I think it frustrated him. I think his only interest was sex and he got frustrated cause I wouldn’t talk about it.

  29. Jai says:

    Stephan, I’ll write a new blog topic if you want :)

    Any way to get a new topic started 😛

  30. SuthrnExec says:

    Villa, I knew there was a reason I was drawn to brilliant women!

  31. Jai says:

    :) good deal E

  32. E says:

    Jai-I’ll dream of the glasses and keep the camera :)

  33. Jai says:

    Nothing bob-o :(

    E-Lol, I think I’ll keep the glasses and dream of the camera 😛

    Jsmn-Sorry to hear about your date. Like Villa said, if you want to run it by some women, we’re here :)

  34. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    My link is being moderated….

    there is an article today in the Telegraph UK paper entitled “Bright Women are Brilliant in Bed”….

    a must-read for all the men who are threatened by intelligent women….


  35. bob says:

    jsmn yove got mail

  36. Panther SD says:

    Jsmn – Sorry to hear that, i just sent you an email.

  37. E says:

    Hey all-

    Jai-haha, I have the camera you want, and you have new specs, something i want!!! Let’s trade :)

    Good Girl-I’ll say a prayer as well that things work out. I know how it is to have a little bit of money that you need to grow……..all too well :) I know how you feel about meeting the pot SD after you have an SD. Right now I’m not speaking to any other potentials until I have my pot SD in person and if goes well great!!!! But if not, then I’m going to try again and hope to find the right dude for me :)

    I think Sugar Dudes instead of Sugar Daddy is what I’ll refer SD to stand for. And since I am still a uni student I’ll call myself a Sugar Brain!! LOL

    Jsmn ( i always want to write JMSN LOL): sorry about your bad date hun :( way not cool.

    SuthrnGent2- thanks for the advice :) my friends aren’t the jealous type though…wish they were haha.

  38. bob says:

    Jai you should have mail

  39. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Ughhh this guy comes into the office and says I need to see the Doctor. I have had a fever even sence I got back from Mexico sheeh!! WE were booked so I sent him to the ER.

    That’s my day so far lmao. Besides phones ringing off the hook, people wanting to see the doctor NOW! No appts available. What do they expect me to do. Especially the one who have a cold and want to see the Doctor NOW, please your not getting an appt for that right away, NOT an emergency!! People crack me up, I tell ya. Then I this this one man today has an appt wants to be seen RIGHT NOW does not want to wait for the doctor to come in. HELLO your early the Doc is not in yet. SIt your butt down and wait!! lmao.

    One of those days I guess…..

    How is everyone doing today?

  40. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    I read that too quickly…. didn’t realise you want to talk to the SDs on here… my offer still stands, if you want to talk to a woman! Hope things get better!!!

  41. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hi jsmn. Ugh, god. Sorry :(

    I can’t send you a message, since we’re both women. If you want, ask Stephan to send me your email, or NC Gent? If you’re out there, can you send jsm a message with my email?


  42. jsmn.308878 says:

    Hey guys…I had a horrible “date” and need to talk about it.
    I literally mean guys/men.

    Please send a message to my inbox.
    I don’t want to talk about it in the open [here on the blog]…(too embarrassed for that)

  43. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Good morning, all!

    Scarlett – I strongly agree with JohnQ’s wise post and the commentary which followed it from others on the blog…

    I once knew a man just as he described…. he did not start out controlling, suspicious and jealous, but after awhile, morphed into such a person – or, rather – couldn’t cloak his real personality in a charade of lies any longer.

    He did the same things which you are describing… always thought I was lying to him, wanted verification of what I said/was doing was real, eventually would drive all over the city looking for me, to see if I was where i said i was, and became abusive, mostly mentally and emotionally.

    This was years and years ago, but when I read your post I could not help but be reminded of the similarities.

    So, just to add my word of caution to everyone else’s…. and remember, as harsh as it may sound, you do not OWE this person ANYTHING. You haven’t met him yet, you don’t really know a thing about him…. people “disappear” in cyberspace all the time, and you never know why.

    Make yourself disappear…. people such as that man prey on others who are vulnerable, or exhibit signs of “weakness”, not saying that in a negative sense, necessarily, but if you are agreeing to meet him and indulge his paranoia regarding the web cam/land line, you are tacitly agreeing to his demands, and he will extrapolate from that that you are ‘weak’ in some sense, and a prime candidate for being taken advantage of.

    So… nip it in the ‘bud’ as the old cliche goes… and leave room in your life for someone positive and healthy and emotionally well-balanced. He will come….


  44. Jai says:

    *Hug* right back at you gg :) And thanks for the compliment

    Matter of fact…HUGS ALL AROUND! 😀

    Hope the meeting isn’t boring Maru. I have to go meet with a counselor at 815 so I kind of feel your pain? lol maybe not 😛

  45. girlie-216076 says:

    Morning, goodgirl! Sorry to hear about your car trouble. Car repairs are never fun. :(

  46. RedMaru *210789* says:

    hey jai! Just here snatching a post between work I have to go to a unit meeting…bleh!!!
    And its windy here in GA!!

  47. goodgirl*313749 says:

    good morning girlie :)
    jai~ you’re probably a wonderful girl-friend in real life. thank you. you always make me smile. *hug*

  48. girlie-216076 says:

    Scarlett, I will also chime in and agree. From an outside perspective, it’s not just red flags, it’s a red parachute!

    Would you date a guy like this in a conventional relationship? Likely, not. Don’t make an exception here. You are a beautiful, smart girl…..the right one will NOT behave like this, and you will find him.

    Should you decide you still want to go and need a check in buddy (and can’t tell friends or family), I’m in Toronto and happy to call.

  49. goodgirl*313749 says:

    gotta go take a shower- i’ll prob be out by the time this thing loads! lol

  50. Jai says:

    Lol gg. Your day now has purpose 😛 And your 2 outfits? Lol you sound like me

  51. goodgirl*313749 says:

    hahaha! jai~he’s never seen either of my (2) outfits!

  52. goodgirl*313749 says:

    ~HA!~ i just got my ‘fortune’ from my facebook page… it says “love asks me no questions, and gives me endless support” (shakespeare) lmao! now…. new mission for the day: FIND LOVE!!! :)

  53. Jai says:

    Congrats on the pot sd gg :) Now you have you figure out what to wear all over again.

  54. Jai says:

    Morning Maru :) How goes it?

  55. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Hey jai!!!
    Hey goodgirl…..(hugs) hang in there feel free to purge anytime

  56. goodgirl*313749 says:

    thanks jai~i keep chanting ‘everything always works out’ :) i know it will. i’m afraid i might not be able to go to work next week cuz of the babysitter thing. i think they’ll let me work from home. we’ll see.
    i have a date with a pot sd tomorrow afternoon. (my sd is out of town for the week) i wasn’t going to go, since i had such a good time with my sd on our date, but… i changed my mind 😉
    this pot is from like a month ago- we haven’t met yet. we havie emailed back and forth quite a lot, and never could work out a good time to meet. i had dismissed him as a poof daddy, actually! lol then, 2 days ago he emails me. “still interested in meeting?” i felt kinda bad for being so quick to let him go, so i said yes. we’re meeting for lunch tomorrow. …hmmm.
    which reminds me- i’d better pack a lunch for work today. :)

  57. Jai says:

    No worries gg :) purge away lol

  58. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Morning sugars and welcome and greetings to all our newcomers
    Hows everybody?
    Although I came in on the tail end of Scarlett’s situation based on what I’ve read I’m going to risk redundacy myself and agree with the rest of the sugar blog family that something in the milk ain’t clean with this one. But as Jai says you know the situation better than we do so go with your gut if it feels right go for it and as insurance let someone know the details so they can look out for ya(and that means even one of us like jai said)

  59. goodgirl*313749 says:

    thanks suthrn :) i guess i just needed to get it out! sorry to purge on everyone this morning! lol
    i really appriciate the encouragement! i needed that! :)

  60. Jai says:

    Hey gg. I sent a quick prayer up for you. I trust everything will work out. :) Have a ‘too blessed to be stressed’ day!….and some coffee 😉

  61. SuthrnExec says:

    Good morning Goodgirl – hang in there! I’m sure everything will work itself out.

  62. Jai says:

    Morning all! :)

    So much to do today and so much time 😀 My glasses came in! I just have to go pick them up. I haven’t had new glasses in 7 years so I’m totally doing my happy dance. 😛

    Scarlett-I hate to be redundant, but I find myself agreeing with the other SDs (and E :) ). It doesn’t seem work it. However, you know yourself and the situation better than we do and if you feel it is, then go for it. Just be safe and let someone know where and what time you’re going so they’ll be looking for you to make it back. As always, I’m sure any one of us here will gladly check in with you if you can’t tell your friends and fam :)

  63. goodgirl*313749 says:

    good morning everybody! wow~time for a new blog topic much?!? it took forever to load today!
    well, i have to decide what to do. i have $400 left to my name. i got my ‘new’ car inspected yesterday and it needs a new lower ball joint. i called around and the cheapest i can get it done is $200. i also have a doctors appt today and need to pay 150 for that and then on tues, i have to pay the babysitter 120. i’m keeping my fingers crossed that the shop will bill me.
    ugh! stressful morning!!
    …need coffee.

  64. Panther SD says:

    Good morning all! Came in the office early and I am high on coffee, so bascially I’m ready for the day!

    Scarlett I side with the rest of the SDs. He’s not the one. Nothing to see here, move along.

  65. SuthrnExec says:

    Scarlett, I’m with JohnQ on this one – move on – this guy is a drama king.

  66. E says:

    Scarlett- Hi, I’m E, glad you have taken to the blog.

    Good Morning everyone else as well!!!! :)

    I agree with John Q, you really have to be safe and trust your instincts, no matter how much the temptation is there. I like Sweet Red’s story about the man who offered her $10,000 for bascially what it sounds to be escorting.

    Sure $10,000 is great but I’m sure as she is older and a hell of lot wiser that I am, she trusted her instincts and has self respect and said no thank you.

    I think you have to remember YOU are in control of your body and your mind and that you want to share both of those with someone who won’t bully you, and John Q is right-Safety first and Trust your instincts. We all care about you on this blog and if you are having doubts, please listen to those. I have backed out of several arrangement proposals because I’ve thought something wasn’t right, and you deserve the best SD you can find that once you meet him you will know you were right in choosing each other.

    I hope I have found that man for me, it seems that way, but I always tread lightly till we meet in person then I will know for sure but fingers crossed.


  67. johnq says:


    I have a very bad feeling about this. You obviously do too, but you’re considering ignoring your instincts and common sense. When your need for a date and/or an allowance leads you to override clear red flags, you need to seriously rethink what you’re doing.

    You haven’t even met this man yet. Right now he’s presumably on his best behavior. If he’s already suspicious, paranoid and controlling, what’s he going to be like down the road, after you’ve gone out repeatedly and been intimate and he decides that you’re his girlfriend and/or that the payments give him the right to dictate to you? What’s going to happen when you tell him you have to leave early one evening because you have to study for a test and he decides that you’re lying and you’re actually going to meet another man? What’s going to happen when his demands get to be too much for you and you tell him that you don’t want to see him anymore?

    Women on this blog take precautions to protect themselves against CL-killer types, and rightfully so. But in the real world psycho killers are relatively rare. Far more common are controlling men who become possessive about women with whom they’ve been intimate, or with whom they want to be intimate, and then stalk or beat or kill those women when things go wrong. Jealous, paranoid, controlling boyfriends or husbands or would-be boyfriends are a leading cause of death or injury for women. You’re out of your mind to enter into a relationship with a man who’s already exhibiting signs of that kind of behavior.

    The number one rule in these situations is be safe. The number two rule is trust your instincts. If you meet with this guy, you’ll be violating both of those rules. I sincerely hope that things work out for you, but there’s a real possibility that you’re getting into something that will be much more difficult to control than you think.


  68. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. Gettting ready to leave for work and then to meet my daugher after work. A long day for me. I am going to give my sd a chance and keep him on the back burner incase he comes back. I will spend the time looking for a new one though. I’m thinking of ending the back and forth emailing I have been doing with the potential one as it has been a month and still no meeting. I don’t like the idea of spending so much time chatting with someone so that maybe in a couple months we might meet for coffee, too much time and effort for someone that I don’t even know what he looks like.

    Have a good day everyone. Be back around 6

  69. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    welcome to the blog Meredith and janedoe. Good morning everyone!!

    Meredith I took a peek at your profile. I would suggest putting a more positive spin on it. Discussing your disabilities and what you can’t do, I personally think would make an SD run in the opposite direction. You can always mention such thing after you get to know someone. Focus on what is great about you. Just my opinion.

    Scarlett I think you scaring the poor SD’s with your demands lol. I would briefly touch on what you want from an arrangement in emails, but it’s a waste of time if you meet and their is not chemistry. The details can always be worked out after you both decide that you want to move on with a relationship.

    Off to get ready for work, Have a great day everyone :)

  70. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    That’s the feeling im getting JQ, but I havnt had much luck — we’ll see what happens… plus i havnt been on a date in a while, and he’s cute… and I like sushi.. sooo there’s some positive to it :)

    But everything you said seems dead on characteristics, “suspicious, paranoid, and controlling” —

    but I tend to have an issue going in to things skeptical.. so I am trying to keep my chin up and give him a chance. ;p

  71. johnq says:


    This guy’s behavior doesn’t sound as if it’s the result of nerves. Skittishness might make him disappear, or leave him speechless or unable or unwilling to discuss monetary arrangements, but it’s hardly an explanation for explicitly questioning everything you say.

    As a rule of thumb, if a man refuses to believe your phone number is your phone number until and unless you resort to the use of webcams, he’s not going to improve on further acquaintance. The opposite is far more likely. He sounds suspicious, paranoid and controlling, and I predict that if you actually meet up with him you’ll regret it almost immediately.


  72. Andrew50 says:

    Scarlett: I’m not sure what you mean by “fine print” “break things down,” and the conversation gettting “personal.” Reading between the lines, I’m guessing that you want to agree on how much your allowance is going to be and on what schedule, and he’s been reluctant to make that commitment.

    My advice is to focus in your first meeting on deciding whether you have chemistry and a connection, whether he is honest, genuine, and honorable, and whether he is interested in getting to know you as a person, i.e., he is interested in more than just sex. If all of those conditions are met and he wants to see you again, then he is starting to feel a bond with and desire for you and will likely become more motivated to give you want you want.

    The problem with trying to talk about money prior to ever meeting is that you’re trying to get a commitment for what you desire at a time when both 1) he hasn’t gotten anything that he desires; and 2) his desires have a low intensity because he hasn’t met you, so his motivation is low.

    A better time to get details nailed down is probably at the end of the first meeting, between the first and second meetings, or at the beginning of the second meeting.

    With regarding to him being skittish and timid and stepping on a nail, it sort of sounds like the two of you aren’t compatible, but your opinion about that is the only one that matters.

  73. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    Ok so some examples.. because I just kind of flipped out on the guy. (I tend to do that, I have little patience for these things.)

    Example 1, a while back we were discussing my finances and he doubted me 100%, he couldn’t believe it.

    Two examples today, 2.) My landline starts with an area code that is usually reserved for cell phones. I had to turn my webcam on, point it at the landline I have.. have him call my landline, and show him the “incoming call” message — to which he replied “you could have your cell forwarded to the landline”

    example 3.) Im in univ, and still have classes for 2 more weeks.. its a winter semester. Started in Jan, ends this month.. last exam on june 9. He got all up in a huff about how I am “in summer school”, arent I? Like I was lying to him, because he “has friends at the university, and their winter classes ended last month.”

    Seriously, do I need to send this guy my daily agenda?

  74. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    Thanks Gurl. Yeah, its almost 3am here.. im up studying :)

    I’m trying something different this time (well, its my first sd date) but in conversations I always wanted to break things down as much as possible, before actually meeting so we didnt waste time.. so I knew what i was getting myself in to, and he did as well — only makes sense.

    This time we kind of skimmed over it, because I feel like he is very touchy about it.. like you said, he is relatively needy. I actually spoke to him a while back, and things went great until the conversation got personal..and he had the nerve to telll me I was too experienced. Im like.. how can I be too experienced if I have no experience?? Because I educated myself and researched this before jumping in to something that might be the next craigslist killer phenomenon?? Come on! So we’re talking again — and throwing jokes around, going great until I step on a nail and hes like “wait, what? ………………….. ”

    So anyway, like you said im just going say “hell with it”, go on a date..enjoy it, see what happens.. then go home and consider if we want to re schedule. Sounds like a dating process to me.. and if I wanted to date someone, i’d go on lavalife. Sorry if that sounds crude… lol, Im just really not in to these mind games.

  75. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Hey Scarlett, I’m still up…why, I dunno lol. Anyway, I hate when you have to be like that around any guy for that matter. You have to watch how you word things, your tone of voice, etc. That’s how the “SD” in Boston was. If I said one thing he’d freak out and start questioning whether or not I really wanted to see him. Argh, was so annoying! Anyway, this is my advise. On your first meet just be completely casual about things. Just be yourself and let things take their course, if you two mesh then great! Date number two can be set up on the spot or at least sometime within the next three days. But if things don’t go so well, then you can always say you tried and then move on.

  76. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    Hey guys.. anyone still up?

    Any advice for a new SB… going on her first date, with a new SD?

    This guy seems kind of skiddish — and timid. Ive had to walk on egg shells around him.

    So any advice on how to speak to a guy who is new to this also? Everyone started somewhere, right?:)

    We’ve discussed the jist of things in length, but no fine print yet and not really sure how to approach it with this guy — he seems like the type I “hear about”, where he doesn’t want to talk mutual benefits –but it just kind of happens, type thing. There are very obvious answers to how I can stay in control — however, I also do not want to waste my time with a potential situation where he just kind of strings me along hoping he doesn’t have to fulfill his end of things, thinking I might just like him SOOO much i’ll reconsider the whole sd/sb thing entirely, and end up putting out based off his charm alone. Is that a little bit insane?

    So complicated…geez! Thanks guys.

  77. JaneDoe says:

    Thanks for the suggestions guys. I went with, “I was thinking maybe a fitted pencil skirt that hugs my curvy hips with a stylish red silk shirt tucked in with some cute black buckle heels. Or maybe a pair of tight blue jeans with a sheer flowery designed top with a v-neck tank top underneath with a black jacket with 3/4 sleeves and shiny black heels.”

  78. Meredith*323040 says:

    I’m happy to be completely discreet. As for my life… I don’t know. My mom and sister would accept it if I told them, they know how stubborn I am and how much I need good, positive things in my otherwise rather dreary life (I’m disabled, in pain all the time, and becoming more and more houseridden). I talk about it freely with all of my friends though and would be fine with my SD meeting any of them.

    What I wish is that SDs would say straight out whether or not they are comfortable with you having other SDs, especially minor ones who maybe you only have online/phone contact with.

    I have full pictures on my profile. With my travel issues and disability issues I feel like I need to be more “out there” and I have no reason to protect my privacy.

    A man I hope will be my longterm SD needs a discreet arrangement due to family life, and I’m happy to provide. It honestly makes me want to please him even more and be perfect for him, since his wife isn’t. I love to please people, in any way I can, and we’ve had a great connection for the last couple weeks online with camming/pictures/e-mail. Even if I can only see him once a month I know that with the camming I’m already improving his days and life a lot, which makes me so happy.

  79. goodgirl*313749 says:

    hi jane :) welcome… only on for a second. gotta go to bed. i have to get the stupid ball joint fixed on my car in the morning. don’t know how i’m gonna pay for it. should’ve not gone shopping :(
    are you going to wear pants/shorts/skirt/dress? what kind of top? tube top? (lol~please don’t!) halter/T-shirt/v-neck?? what color??
    or maybe just be coy and say ‘you’ll see’… patience IS a virtue :)

  80. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    By the way welcome to the blog JaneDoe. :)

  81. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Haha I agree with girlie, use lots of imagery.

  82. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Lisa, I would make him make it up to you in some sort of way. I’d personally be somewhat offended if a SD told me he’d reconsider being with me because ALL his other SBs bailed on him, it’d make me feel like I was a last resort for him. But that’s just me.

    Well my potential SD wants to meet for coffee this Friday at 7. I’m hoping that I can convince him to meet me at the movie theater to go see a movie and then dinner maybe, since I just realised my insurance ran out for the year and right now I don’t have the money to pay it. But I do have enough for a cab to the movie theater and that would be nice, to see a movie together…and I know just what to see. :)

  83. girlie says:

    I use words that engage the senses….soft cashmere sweater, buttery leather jacket, smooth silk stockings, sky high heels with a red sole…..ultra girly, touch me hair…..fitted pencil skirt that hugs curves. You get the idea, I hope :)

  84. JaneDoe says:

    Hi everyone, I’m fairly new to this site and have been watching the blogs for a few weeks now. Just wanted to jump right into to chatting on the blogs now. So much good information here.

    So, I have a date with my pot SD this weekend. And I have a silly question. I had said that once we finalize the details I’ll start planning my outfits. And he asked what outfits I had in mind in his email today. But…how do you describe an outfit? Silly question, I know. But like, I have no idea. Haha.

  85. lisa says:

    well at least he’s on the back burner in case he decides to make the effort.
    I’m going to bed soon, gotta get up early to work tomorrow and then meet my daughter when she gets off work.

    Have a good night

  86. girlie- 216076 says:

    That;s good news, Lisa. Maybe things will turn!

  87. lisa says:

    I just got a call my from my sd after sending him an email. He said he liked me but was just too old and lazy to drive up after working adn then drive back. He said that the other sbs had bailed on him too and that he would reconsider if his schedule gets better next month as I am the only one that he is interested in if he has this type of relationship.

  88. girlie- 216076 says:

    Keep at it, Lisa. It will come.

    Explorer won’t be in my area…..we LIVE in the same area!! At his suggestion of emailing him off the site I sent an email back saying:

    I would rather not. Your practice of sending mass emails of a generic nature is a turnoff to me.
    I have found a lovely SD who I have comitted to and will be pursuing

  89. lisa says:

    I unhid it immediately as I felt this was going to happen since he cancelled our dates twice last week. At least my daughter got a graduation gown that fits now as they gave her one that was too big and being that the school colors are black and gold, she looked like a halloween goul, my mom said the cats were running from her when she put in on. lol

  90. katrina says:

    You make me laugh, Lisa. HOW many hours since your SD canceled and you un-hid your profile?? Good things come to those who wait.

    Concentrate on building the jealousy and resentment your daughter has for Percy : )

  91. lisa says:

    He is single (divorced) so he doesnt’ have to hide but I have also found that the married ones that need discretion are not able to travel unless they do it on business. The ones I come across seem to want someone local to meet as they can’t travel just for meetings. I’m open to both types but I can’t get anyone intersted enough to be motivated to drive to see me. I am positive but I’m getting zero emails and no more views as its’ the same old guys that were on their a month ago before I hid my profile.
    I guess I should use this as down time to do more with my family when I get to see them.

  92. katrina says:

    Lisa – don’t project what this SD did onto others – you might miss out on a great guy that way. Just because this SD did not want to drive doesn’t mean that another man would not want to travel to see you. From what I can see (myself included) people on this site sometimes automatically disregard anyone who lives too close as a way of protecting secrets/anonymity. Positive, positive. : )

  93. lisa says:

    girlie, maybe explorer is going to be in your area in two weeks, lol

  94. lisa says:

    I doubt it as he seems to be really set in his ways. I guess he is going to go with the potential one he met before me (I thought that when he paid me my full allowance that he had decided to choose me but I guess not) that lives close to where he works. He was full of dread at the idea of having to drive all the way over to see me (this is what he said) and that the logistics wouldn’t work with the distance. FUnny thing is that Houstonians are obsessed with their cars and driving even to get something across the street but I seem to find the ones that hate to drive.

    I will send him an email later as he broke off with me by phone this afternoon about 2 hours before our date.

  95. girlie- 216076 says:

    Good evening everyone.

    Where is SuzieQ when you need her. Explorer emailed me again after I told him 1st week in April that I wasn’t interested. yuck.

    Lisa :( Sorry to hear about your SD. Is there no way you could sway him back?

  96. lisa says:

    I don’t like it as it’s a form letter kinda thing he sent

  97. lisa says:

    it is running too slow. I can’t see my typing when i’m doing it. I just got an email from an sd but i checked his profile and he can’t travel out of his city and his profile is in suspend mode so I can’t view it. I emailed him back to find out more about him. But if a man can’t travel 35 miles why would anyone from hundred of miles bother

  98. katrina says:

    Lisa – maybe you will meet a nice SD who has a driver! : )

  99. goodgirl*313749 says:

    i’m out too~ the load time is makin me sleepy *yawn* :)

  100. lisa says:

    Good evening Katrina My life has been a cycle of highs and lows this last year. I can’t keep a sugardaddy because they don’t want to drive to see me. People always look down on me because I dont’ have a car or drive but still these men have cars and drive but they won’t.

  101. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Well I’m off to my newest fun pursuit…lol
    Jai hang in there I second katrina’s emotion we are all rooting for you
    Same goes for you lisa!!!!
    I’ll see all of you later!!!

  102. RedMaru *210789* says:

    thanks….it took awhile for it to become for me one slow step at a time….lol

  103. katrina says:

    JohnQ – I think that I would be inclined to skip that SB. Up to you, but she did sound pushy like maybe she does this all the time? My humble opinion, of course.

    Lisa – just think good thoughts. Positive attracts positive : ) We on the blog are all rooting for you so it is just a matter of time.

    Jai – don’t get discouraged about the med program. We’re all rooting for you, too!

  104. SouthernGent2 says:

    E – receiving nice gifts goes with the territory. You need to get a game plan in place now about how either hide things or explain things. Its a good problem for you to have. Personally I would enjoy making a sb’s friends a bit jealous 😉

  105. goodgirl*313749 says:

    :) i like your profile. exercising needs to be my ‘newest fun time pursuit’ :) …can’t seem to get motivated enough! lol

  106. RedMaru *210789* says:

    no prob….goodgurl thanks for checkin me out

  107. lisa says:

    I know I will be working on monday as I never get holidays off. I’m off this satruday which is a rarity. Still getting views but no emails.

  108. Jai says:

    Not much. I’m trying to pick back up again lol I got some unpleasant news from the med program. I think some exercise will be good. Need to release some endorphins 😛 Burgers sound good gg. I need to see what my SD wants and then go from there :)

  109. RedMaru *210789* says:

    hey goodgirl! You mean you can’t find my profile or SA is not letting you see it?

  110. goodgirl*313749 says:

    nevermind :) got ya… but it won’t let me. maybe cuz i’m an sb also?? …bummer.
    whats cookin tonight jai? i took my daughter for culvers butter burgers. now i need to exercise.

  111. RedMaru *210789* says:

    lisa – yeah me too I’m off monday so three day weekend whoo! but if can hurry up and be thursday as terminator salvation is coming out.

  112. goodgirl*313749 says:

    hi jai and lisa :)
    redmaru~tried to send you a message, but can’t see your profile :(

  113. lisa says:

    so boring I want it to be friday already. I’m off friday and saturday. I just want to do something fun. Had today planned and then it fell thru.

  114. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Good question Jai,
    Most of them have been covered in the past blogs. Hey how SD/SB communication or has that been discussed already…lol

    Hey lisa i’m having that same problem a bunch of views and one message

  115. lisa says:

    Have a good evening sweetredhead

    I’m soooo bored. I’m getting lots of views since unhiding my profile but no messages.

  116. Jai says:

    What’s up gg? :)

    I wonder when there will be a new topic?

  117. RedMaru *210789* says:

    hey goodgirl its good at least you’re getting messaged. My profile has been viewed several times and my first message was from panthersd(it made my day!!) i’ve been on here since last year and have had more hits this year since changing my profile. I kinda give up on sending messages as I don’t get a response though each message is tailor made and more than two sentences

  118. johnq says:

    Red Maru:

    This was from an SD to an SB he hadn’t met. As far as whether it’s typical, I have no idea, since for obvious reasons pot SDs aren’t emailing me these kinds of things.


  119. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I am going to relax. To tired to wait for this blog to load tonight. No patients :(

  120. RedMaru *210789* says:

    hey gurlnextdoor homemade pasta…yum. How did you do it? between you and sweetred no I want to cook something!

  121. goodgirl*313749 says:

    good evening everybody! i’m not even gonna try to read everything from earlier or i’ll never catch up!~~gotta live for the NOW!! :)
    Lisa~NEXT! he wasn’t good enough for you anyway :) (although you should have been compensated for reading those boring emails!)
    JQ~fyi. my profile has been viewed 174 times. i’ve been messaged by 12 men, since march. don’t know if thats good or bad?

  122. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Wow the SB sure thinks highly of themselves. This is typical? Money right of the bat is jumping the gun a tad. Don’t know bout this one johnq

  123. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Hey everyone, just finished making some yummy pasta from scratch. It was delicious! :) Anyway welcome to the blog beckee and redmaru. How is everyone tonight?

  124. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I always offer my messenger Id, easier to talk and see if you click. At least on messenger you can at least have a banter.

  125. lisa says:

    no bob I think he just wants to meet women for free. Probably has a wife that checks all the credit card bills so he can’t risk paying. I will save the 40 dollars and spend it on my daughter’s graduation celebration.

  126. bob says:

    Hey lisa he just might want to save his money so he can spend it on you

  127. johnq says:

    I have an interesting example of what’s been represented to me as a common type of email from a pot SD and I’m wondering if this is more or less typical and what both SDs and SBs think of it.

    Initial email from the pot SD:

    “Great profile! Please let me know if u r interested in chatting about starting an amazing “arrangement”:)?Thanks:)”

    Follow-up email, after the SB expressed interest in talking further:

    “That is awesome! Do u want to leave me your email and i’ll send u some photos?Or if u like u can email me at xxxxx. If u like what u see, i’m willing to offer u a $5,000 per month allowance:) Looking forward to talking to u!”

    Being on the SD side, I have no idea what is or isn’t typical, and I’m wondering what people think about this.


  128. lisa says:

    newsflash! the cheapskate sent me a wink and asked me to upgrade so that he could communicate with me. Yea right i’m gonna spend 40 dollars to talk to some guy who is too cheap to pay for membership. lol

  129. Jai says:

    Cool bob-o. Guess we wont eat until tomorrow 😛

  130. lisa says:

    well I had Whataburger for lunch and since my date cancelled, Taco bell for dinner, lol

  131. RedMaru *210789* says:

    sweetred makes such good stuff for dinner.
    Hey jai nothin much

  132. E says:

    Jai- I don’t know how to use the bloody thing.
    I just mentioned that my school is offering a summer course in photography and would be nice to go and learn as I love modern photography and he paid for the class and the camera. If I lived near by I’d so let you borrow it :)

    Sweetredhead-you really do live up to your name :) I’m sure a guy will come along when you least expect it. Happened with me. I came back from a bad date one weekend and was on seeking arrangement bored and i had a message that i wouldn’t have responded to, but i guess for whatever reason I did and now we chat every day. It’s not a happy ending, but more like a i made it past the first round of interviews and hopefully things will turn out great when we meet in person. :) But i’m glad to have sugar friends, you all are lovely :)

  133. bob says:

    Jai – Heck no. If I was I could email you a simple document…Thats my problem. But will have that fixed in the am…..lol

  134. lisa says:

    haha on the otehr side of the fence there is a sd profile and the guy makes 200k and is a free member. He only wants to hear from paying members as that’s the only ones whose mail he can read. duh what an cheapskate. lol

  135. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    bbl running to the store forgot I promised the boys ice cream. A mom can never go back on her promises no matter how tired she is!

  136. bob says:

    sorry to hear that Lisa

  137. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I am just hanging out on the blog and not searching for an SD anymore. Let them chase me for awhile lol (ya rite)

  138. Jai says:

    Yum sweetred! I’ll be over in 20 minutes or so 😛

    Are you a programmer bob? 😉

  139. lisa says:

    Yes bob, I guess he would rather spend his time in the flower bed than in mine, lol He is going to have to drive somewhere because he lives in a very small town outside of Houston so I doubt that many sbs there. I’ back on the search.

  140. bob says:

    Jai am going to work on that tommrow. the way I scanned the darn receipe the file was 79mb. Going to do it in the morning and when I screw that up call a buddy of mine that will tell me what kind of file to put it in(tit,tif, butt, suck, tite……programers must think about sex all day)

  141. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    making roasted pork loin and teriyaki noodles with veggies for dinner.

  142. Jai says:

    I listened to the country music station while I was running errands Andy and thought of you 😉

  143. bob says:

    gardner cant spell today.

  144. lisa says:

    Hi Jai yes I guess that’s true, lol
    I”m going to lay down for a little while. feeling tired from being stuck home all day. I had different plans for this afternoon. :(

  145. Jai says:

    What up bob-o? :) You left me hanging in the email department buddy.

  146. Andrew50 says:

    Jai: I played Sam Cooke records today and thought of you.

  147. Panther SD says:

    Katrina – Say it ain’t so! The only true Sox are White 😉

    Lisa – 35 miles is a drop in the bucket. That’s not far….

  148. Jai says:

    Hey there RedMaru! What’s shakin? :)

  149. bob says:

    lisa the garder bailed out on you?

  150. Jai says:

    Ohhhh E, I was just talking to my SD about a nikon :) It is my dream to own one one day. He used to be a photographer so he understands. You lucky duck!

    Lisa, see my above comment lol 😛

  151. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Evening Jai!!
    Hi beckee my vote is definitely with the second option johnq offered its softer….

    Here in Ga we have the Braves…i guess can’t say I’ve been following them much

  152. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Evening Jai!!
    Hi beckee my vote is definitely with the second option johnq offered its softer….

    Here in Ga we have the Braves…i guess can’t say I’ve been following them much

  153. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Good evening everyone.

    I stopped emailing Sd’s If they are interested they can email me. I emailed many SD either without a response or not interested in my “type” So I figure if they like my “type” they can email me lol

  154. E says:

    Jai-he bought me a new nikon camera……………..$750 one

  155. lisa says:

    Good evening Jai yes he bailed because it stressed him out too much to drive 35 miles once a week to see me. Odd my married lover drives the same distance and never complains.

  156. Jai says:

    Lisa-I’m sure your lover doesn’t complain because…he’s your lover! lol He’s coming to get something 😛

  157. lisa says:

    I lived a few blocks from the Cubs field when I was a kid. My school was near it on Shefield.

  158. Jai says:

    Hey everyone!!! :) I missed a lot so I wont even attempt to address everything.

    Sorry to read about your SD Lisa, that sucks :(

    E-I’m still waiting to hear back. I have to meet with advisors 😛 May I ask what kind of gift you’re receiving? Congrats on the 4.0! 😀

  159. katrina says:

    …and here I was thinking that Panther had no faults.

    BoSox all the way : )

  160. E says:

    Thanks Red Maru!!!! :)

    Gosh, still feel like the new kid at school around here, but do my best to chime in when i have a question or a clue what anyone is talking about!!!!


  161. Panther SD says:

    beckee –

    I suggest JohnQ’s second option.

    Katrina I grew up in Chicago.. so it’s all about the White Sox.

  162. RedMaru *210789* says:

    jsmn – cant say I’m particular about baseball either but open yourself you might enjoy it. Have a good time!

  163. johnq says:


    You can either be brutally honest (“when I saw your picture I gagged and I’m thinking it would be tough to have a satisfying sex life like that”) or you can lie. I would strongly advise lying. Wait a day, and then tell him/her that a former lover/SD/SB/whatever just contacted you unexpectedly and you owe it to yourself to see if that earlier relationship can be revived, and you’ll contact the new person if and when the other thing doesn’t work out. The other person may well suspect this is a lie, but he/she won’t know for sure, and there’s at least a certain amount of face saving involved.


  164. beckee says:

    help plz how do you tell someone you nolonger want to meet up after seeing there picture?

  165. katrina says:

    RED sox, Panther?

  166. jsmn.308878 says:

    Minnesota vs Chicago White Sox

  167. Ababy80.330593. says:

    make the most out of it! who is playing

  168. jsmn.308878 says:

    It’ll probably be cold so we’ll be able to cuddle up against each other (or I against him)…:)

  169. jsmn.308878 says:

    I’m really going because he asked and he seemed as if he looks forward to me going with him. I’d feel bad to cancel now.

  170. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Welcome back E!
    Thanks for the vote of confidence Panther I’m still going to talk to you after I find my match(or my match finds me)
    Welcome any newcomers!! Is Jai here?

  171. Chocolatevenus143783 says:

    Hi ya Jsmn & Scarlett!

    S – I do agree with what you said, but I also think while you dont absolutely loathe it, it is always good to try something different, especially when I it something you dont particularly like. And as Panther said, if you are going for the company, good company can make anything more exciting.


  172. Ababy80 says:

    jsm baseball games are so much fun!! take me to one and your in! :)

  173. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    Jsmn, if you don’t want to go somewhere.. then don’t. You should voice your opinion.

    Suggest somewhere else. Though I assume it’s probably too late now. He probably thinks hes doing you a great service and you are jumping up and down with excitement right now. He can go to the baseball game with his buddies — a date should be mutually entertaining. It’s for you both.

  174. Panther SD says:

    Jsmn –

    Try it for the experience. I don’t care for baseball either, but I imagine you are going for the company right?

  175. jsmn.308878 says:

    I’m actually not really looking forward to a baseball game even though I’ve never been to one.

  176. Chocolatevenus143783 says:

    Hi ya everyone, how are things! Middle of may and all we had was rain! Makes me wonder why my parents left the West Indies to live in the UK..lol

  177. lisa says:

    I love to go to the baseball games alhtough in the 23 years I have been in Houston, i’ve only been 2 times. The ballpark is downtown and most games are played at night so I can’t go. The last time I went with my family 4 years ago it cost 10 dollars to park, 180 dollars for tickets and about 50 dollars for food. Too expensive

  178. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    LOL Panther, you crack me up :)

  179. jsmn.308878 says:

    I don’t know the first thing about baseball or any sport for that matter.
    I guess dinner and a baseball game is a good first date.

    I just hope we like each other. So far it seems good.

  180. lisa says:

    My sd was not married so discretion wasn’t an issue. And I used to work nghts so my dating life was limited but now I have all evenings free and a couple weekdays. I can understand a married sd that lives hundreds of miles away but a single guy who lives 35 miles away? My lover is married and lives 35 miles away (he lives south where as the sd lives north) and he never complains about comoing to see me.
    I have began the sd search again.

  181. E says:

    Hi guys!!!

    Welcome Ababy80, Paige, Blaque Magic (think I spelt that right) and anyone else. I’ll bet one of these days so many new folks, I won’t remember them all.

    Lisa-Sorry about your SD. I’ve had that happen with potentials. We met, agreed on an arrangement, and then he (or i in all honesty) would back away. I’ll bet your next SD is TRILLED you were on the market when you meet him so not to worry you’ll meet a man soon enough :)

    Jai-how is your med school stuff going? when you do hear back?

    Paige-When I had my first SD, I was very very nervous. I was barely 20 years old and scared out of my mind. Plus he lived overseas, so how was I to know if he was serious or not? He did though, send me a small financial gift to ensure he was real and that this was an arrangement. But seems like you have met a nice guy good luck on the second date and don’t do anything you don’t want to do okay hun!!!!!

    Sweetred-Sounds like if things don’t work out with m pot SD I can just kiss a frog at your place and see if he turns into one!!!!! :)

    Now I have a question-My SD bought me a gift online for having a perfect GPA (4.0) and it’s quite expensive and something that my friends will know I can’t afford on my own. I have those “nosy” typical southern women friends (think Steel Magnolias) who want to know everything. I have taken a vow to remain single this summer so they know that I don’t have a boyfriend, and they know that I’m “looking for a summer job” and with my SD committed to helping me this summer I don’t know what to say. PA won’t work in my situation, and these gifts and money have to be coming from somewhere, so any ideas on what to say to keep my friends out of “‘taking a peek in the sugar jar?”

  182. Panther SD says:

    jsmn –

    As long as it’s Sox and not Cubs. :)

  183. Panther SD says:

    RedMaru – I

    I saw your profile and have no doubt the right SD will be begging you for a date soon. Then you won’t talk to me anymore :)

    I don’t think distance is that big of a deal for the right person. For those of us married the challenge is always scheduling and the amount of time we can spend together.

  184. jsmn.308878 says:

    Going out to eat tonight and to a sox game 😀
    I’m not a very big fan of baseball though.

  185. Panther SD says:


    So true. I met one potential Sugar Baby in Chicago while i was visiting the parents. I took her out to a very classy restaurant down town, we ordered great food and we sat there and chatted for a long time. We both laid out what we were looking for and I thought i hit the jack pot!!! She was intelligent, in school for her “Masters”, was beautiful and well spoken. She hammered the point of being discreet and her education.

    When i went home I decided to follow my gut and check her out. I took the cell phone number she provided and ran it against a few escort sites and guess what I found.

    The high class, master student, high manitnance woman was advertising on Craigslist for $60 blowjobs. *eye roll* The next day her car broke down and needed emergency help. :)

  186. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Is distance an issue for SD’s? OR is it other things and distance is a convinient explanation? I like to travel so many places I haven’t been I like new experiences and if I could I would

  187. Panther SD says:

    Blaque Magic-

    Honestly I typically respond if (1) She lives in the United States (2) If she took the time to create a profile (More then just “Ask me”) in what she is looking for. It really depends on her profile. Example would be if she is 18 and requires more then 20k a month i tend to roll my eyes.

    I basically send a feeler back asking a little about herself and what she is looking for. If she sends back a “warm” email with some personality I will dig further. If i get the standard “blah blahh sweetie” (3-6 words) i lose interest.

  188. lisa says:

    In my experiences I have came across many who want to play email back and forth
    many picture collectors although I have several pics and they have none posted
    guys that simply don’t get it and want a diner date or someone to move in with them.
    a few that were sincere as I’ve talked to maybe a hundred men and actually met 5.

    Distance seems to be a big issue, forget those out of state, the ones that live within reasonable distance don’t want to travel. Texas sds are afraid of traffic

  189. Ababy80 says:

    lol panther i couldnt help but laugh at loud. i know its sincere but your break down is funny in an on-point sort of way. “genuine interest, these emails consits of more than two sentences” lol its funny but true.

    paige – it is a trick web we weave. ive just found being sincere and honest has gotten me very far. I havent had too many relationships so far, but the ones i have spoken with/entertained went furthest by just being honest. i’m straight forward about what i need without expecting too much. i feel like if the man feels that.. you are only there for their money, what they can do for you, they run. Make sure you its known you are there for him as well – afterall, babies bring some excitement into their daddy’s world

  190. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Panther wow- its not that bad is it
    I’m starting to think GA is not that popular either as most of the messages I send are not responded to either. I wonder sometimes if its me… and none of my pics are hotel roomish…sigh

  191. Andrew50 says:


    I’ve noticed the hotel room photos, also. The bed headboard that is nailed to the wall and the air conditioning unit mounted on the floor near the window are big red flags.

    I’ve also learned to scan the local escort ads to make sure the SB profile photo doesn’t match one of the ads.

  192. BLAQUE MAGIC*333666 says:

    Panther-whats your initial response to the 10% curiosity feelers

  193. Panther SD says:


    Here is the break down.

    60% – Mass email one liners – ” Hi Cutie.” or “Hit me back” and my favorite ” So what’s up?”

    20% – Escorts. Can read between the lines in her profile. Terms like “Dinning at the Y, Rates, GFE, I speak Greek” and pictures in hotel rooms.

    10% – Curiosity feelers ” I read your profile and I think you’re cute.”

    10% – Genuine interest. These emails consist of more then 2 sentences.

  194. BLAQUE MAGIC*333666 says:

    Lisa- sorry and from earlier illegals are everyehere even in St. Louis

    From Earlier
    I appreciate anybody who viewed my profile now for some tips to improve it.

    GurlND- That is the correct pro# so I dont know why you cant see it. sorry
    I always send personalized messages jut never get responses. I think a lot haas to do with my location. St. louis is not really that popular

  195. Paige says:

    Thanks. =]
    That’s what I thought initially too, which was why I was a little confused by that blog. I wouldn’t ask up front- I was curious as to how everything worked, though. I do understand expecting a plane ticket, though.
    I’ve met with one potential SD and have my second date Thursday- I’m so nervous!

  196. Panther SD says:

    Hi Paige – Welcome to the blog.

    Experiences can differ greatly depending on the SD you are dealing. Imaginations and fantasies can easily run wild when you are dealing with a form of relationship that do not conform to traditional rules (per-se). Meaning you will hear a lot of SBs and SDs inform you the relationship can be crafted to meet the needs of the parties involved. So an arrangement with SD #1 may be completely unacceptable to SD#2 and so on.

    As for me I have been on and off the site for over and year with mixed results. For a SD the challenge is sifting through emails for a SB with qualities I am looking for. Unfortunately the term Sugar Baby is loosely applied to anyone seeking an arrangement. Meaning I sift through countless emails from ESCORTS or those seeking a quick $$. Most of us have learned how to spot these women, but if her “game” is very good I may not catch on until after the 2nd meeting.  This has made it hard on the genuine Sugar Babies looking for a relationship built on genuine trust. On the flip side the Sugar Daddies can be just as bad.

    In regards to SDs sending you money and plane tickets before you meet in person it is possible. I have done it before, but only after I have spoken to her via email and phone conversations for while. But I am sure there are plenty of SD’s that may do it.

  197. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Aww lisa sorry to hear about your SD. Oh well you’ll find someone better. :)

    Welcome to the blog Paige. I personally never ask a SD for money or anything like that, but if they live in another state and want me to come see them then I ask that they pay for the plane ticket and hotel while I’m there. With that being said, every SD I’ve met (a total of 4 since December) has always given me some financial gift after meeting me. I think SDs like it more when you don’t ask for some money, it sends a message that you’re genuinely interested in meeting them for them and not just their money.

  198. Andrew50 says:

    My experience getting emails from potential SBs is about the same as NC Gent. It’s so rare that I get a personalized email that they really stand out. Also, almost all of the spam/scams comes from SBs who live far away who have never viewed my profile.

    I have received some strange emails, such as resumes from women who want help finding a 9-5 job with a health plan and a 401(k), offers to be my maid, cook, secretary, nanny for my children (I don’t have any), and household manager, and solicitations for a purported charity walkathon. Then, there’s the more mundance, such as the web cam girls and exotic dancers looking for customers and the photo sellers.

    My profile is still visible. When it first went up, I received an initial spurt of email, but now it’s about 2-3/day.

  199. johnq says:

    The anal explanation would work for me, but only if you were a male SB looking for an SD.

    Very strange. For some reason I’m getting about 20% of your overall volume of emails, but about an equal number of quality responses. So the difference isn’t so much in the number of qualified women who respond, but in the amount of garbage you get.

    Again, I would assume if this were profile-based that it would be the exact opposite.

    If there are any other SDs out there I’d be curious to hear about total volumes of email received, as well as the relative percentages of “junk” versus interesting inquiries. For that matter, I’d be interested in knowing the same information for SBs.


  200. NC Gent says:

    by the way, I was joking about the back door thingy in my profile :)

    I think someone called my profile refreshingly unfreaky!

  201. lisa says:

    I have made the first move many times and didn’t get anywhere, all my dates have came from the sd contacting me. I do add anyone of interest to my favorites and that makes it easier for them to see your profile that through the random chance that it comes up on a search.

  202. NC Gent says:

    hmmmmm I think I got about 100 emails the first week that I put my profile up and then it dropped off dramatically. Do you think I should not have put that I was looking for anal s3x on the first date in my profile??? maybe that was it???

  203. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Hey NCGent!! Welcome Ababy80!
    lisa sorry bout the cancellation!
    Welcome back Panther SD…kinda lol!

  204. Paige says:

    Hey all.

    I’ve been watching the blogs for a few days now (I’ve been on this site for about a week) and it’s almost impossible to keep up, but I figured I should probably make some sort of contribution.
    I’m entirely new to all of this- never had a SD before, never really knew anyone who had- so it’s like a whole new world.
    What should I be expecting? I’ve been talking to quite a few potentials, messaging back and forth, just getting to know them, trying to figure out what to expect and what’s expected of me in return. It’s awesome to see that there’s a whole SD/SB community- I feel a lot less alone than I did when I first started considering a relationship like this. It’s also a little intimidating right now, though virtually everyone I’ve talked to so far has been really nice. I read on one of the blogs that some SB’s have their potential SD’s send them small amounts of money or arrange for plane tickets and whatnot before the initial meeting, just to get a taste for what they’re potentially getting into and making sure it’s real. How would you go about presenting this idea to a potential SD?
    Any advice at all would be awesome. =]


  205. Panther SD says:

    Thanks for the email Red, glad i could put a smile on your face. :)

  206. johnq says:


    Interesting. Clearly something in your profile attracts what might be called SA-spam, whereas mine doesn’t. I’m surprised, since I would have assumed that the flakes would email everyone indiscriminately.

    How many emails did you receive, and over what period of time?


  207. Panther SD says:

    OK.. now i am really back…kinda. Being “On-Call” is not fun.

  208. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Hey lisa! Citing your experience is it better that the SB make the move or vice versa or depends.
    BTW Congrats your new match

  209. lisa says:

    OK my sugardaddy just called and broke off with me. He likes me alot but just can’t deal with the driving and scheduling. :) He only lives 35 miles from me and has a flexible schedule and mine is fairly good too as I no longer work nights so every evening is free and I have days off. I think he must have went with on of his other potentials that live closer to him. Odd everyone thinks it’s weird that I don’t drive yet every man I meet is not willing to drive a few miles or at certain times of the day.

    Guess I will unhide my profile now and search on. I guess if you don’t put out on the second date, you get nowwhere.

  210. Ababy80 says:

    thanks for the welcome :) i love reading these discussions.

  211. NC Gent says:

    Hi JQ — I would have to say about 90% of the emails were of the following: mass mailing, from an escort, from someone with a sob story looking for money fast, one liners, etc. About 10% were legitimate thoughtful emails that I felt obligated to respond, even though I wasn’t interested. At that rate, I figured it was best to hide my profile. You seem to be doing better than me!

  212. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Hmm Blaque I can’t seem to see your profile???

  213. lisa says:

    I’ve sent dozens of messages only to get no response and have numerous sds contact me and then vanish. I have been at this one year and met a total of 5 guys plus had one to stand me up twice. Had one coffee date, 2 shopping dates, all three of these vanished afterwards, and 2 sds so I’m kinda new to it too as I met this sd 2 weeks ago.

  214. johnq says:

    NC Gent:

    I’m curious. How many flaky emails do you get (or did you get when your profile was visible)? My profile has been up for about 3 weeks, and I’ve received 36 emails. About a third of those have been one-line come-ons that looked like they’d been mass-mailed. About a third were from women who at least seemed to have read my profile, but were unsuitable for one reason or another. The final third were from women who seemed like legitimate possibilities,

    So although most of the emails have been from women in whom I’m not interested, the absolute number is low enough, and the hit rate high enough, that I’m not having any trouble reading through them.

    I’m wondering if your experience has been different.


  215. RedMaru *210789* says:

    No worries Blaque I don’t have any stories either yet I’m a little in the dark myself on whether I should make the first move or let them. I stuck my neck out a couple of times especially when I first came on here last year and my messages usually got no response. I wish I knew how to go about it.
    Hi johnq!

  216. lisa says:


    Yes most of them are. lol I live in Texas so that’s standard

  217. NC Gent says:

    I initiate contact with all potential SBs because I thrive on rejection! On the serious side, my profile is hidden because I don’t like getting flaky emails from someone I wouldn’t be interested in.

  218. johnq says:

    So far I’ve limited myself to responding to inquiries initiated by women. If and when those stop I’d certainly be willing to initiate contact, but there wouldn’t be much point right now.

    I’m not sure why this is, incidentally. My profile has no picture, and is relatively low-key and non-boastful. I did that not as a strategy to attract women, but as a reaction to the SD profiles I’d seen, many of which included pictures featuring abs or Lamborghinis or speed-boats and lengthy descriptions of how rich, successful, intelligent, humorous, powerful, sensitive and romantic the men were. It all seemed faintly ridiculous to me.

    It’s possible that a lower-key profile works better at attracting the women I’m interested in. It’s also possible that no one looks beyond the age, financial information and geographic location and it doesn’t really matter what you write or whether you include pictures.


  219. lisa says:

    ok the apartment owner is transporting the cattle (I mean employees) to the other apartments across the street via box attached to bulldozer.

  220. BLAQUE MAGIC*333666* says:

    Lisa -sounds like illegals…..lol

  221. lisa says:

    my first sd initiated contact with me, the next 2 shopping dates with potentials where initiated by them, and my current sd contacted me soley on the fact that I added him as favorite and my zodiac sign being compatible with his. It never hurts to add a sd as a favorite so he will notice your profile amoung the thousands of sbs on the sites.

  222. BLAQUE MAGIC*333666* says:

    I wish i had more to say but i’m nat as experienceed lol or have any stories to comment on.
    I like listening to you all for now but i do think I need to reevaluate my profile. Make it a little more appealing. I would like anybodies insight on how to do that.

  223. lisa says:

    ok the owner of these apartments just drove into the parking lot on one of his many bulldozers. it has a wood box attached and it’s filled with several of the repairmen) very odd. lol

  224. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Hey VC, Panther, and welcome BlaqueMagic! :)

    I gotta agree with VC, I like to initiate contact sometimes. That’s how I found my potential SD, I emailed him first. Who knows, if I hadn’t, he might have never found me.

  225. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Panther good to have you back
    check your mail

  226. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Alright. Must go. Have fun this afternoon Lisa…. hee hee….
    ciao tutti x

  227. lisa says:

    slow morning on the blog

  228. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    hi Panther

    nothing much!

  229. Panther SD says:

    Back!! What did i miss?

  230. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    I think you’re correct…. it depends on the person… some make contact, others contact you first, some don’t respond to messages….. it’s beyond generalisations I believe… if you see someone of interest, write a nice, personalised message… that’s what I do… rarely… but I don’t sit around and wait for someone to find me.

  231. lisa says:

    gotta make some coffee as i’m still not fully awake although I slept 10 hours I feel very lazy

  232. BLAQUE MAGIC*333666* says:

    i thought that too but that just made it easy to remember. sorry bout the misspellings
    I hate this keyboard.
    I know sb’s like to be pampered but do sd’s like to initiate contact on here? I know that it depends on the person but what do you guys think in general or from personal experience.

  233. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Hey VillaCypris and Blaque Magic(you do have a cool profile number)
    Welcome pull up a chair!

  234. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    You have quite the profile number…. threes and multiples thereof…. cool

  235. BLAQUE MAGIC*333666* says:

    Hi Villa and sweetredhead

  236. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    ahahaha Lisa…. i suppose i could’ve answered it in a cheeky manner such as that…!

  237. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    welcome blaque magic !

  238. lisa says:

    hum my five faves in the bedroom…… well let’s see
    my big kingsize bed
    cozy sheets
    sleeping late
    my white fuzzy throw rug
    my alarm going off at 9 instead of 6

  239. BLAQUE MAGIC*333666* says:

    Yeah and it seems the market is rough for male sb’s. The women mat ahve it a little easier

  240. sweetredhead says:

    Back to work for me, Have a great day everyone!!

  241. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hi gurl and sweetred. Good lord…. I had one guy whom I was communicating with…. after two messages he says, “so tell me your five favs in the bedroom”. Needless to say, never did nor will respond to that.

    It’s just gauche and low-class to ask something like that immediately.

  242. sweetredhead says:

    Yes there are. They come around sometimes :)

    Welocme to the blog BLAQUE MAGIC are you a male Sb?

  243. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Is Jai still here
    Hey Jai if you are and hey and welcome to any new sugars to the blog
    Good afternoon still a mite chilly down here in GA

  244. BLAQUE MAGIC*333666* says:

    You all are interesting. Very informative! Are there any male sb’s on here?

  245. lisa says:

    Good afternoon sweetredhead
    I have a squirrel that lives inside my wall, he comes in from a whole in the side of the roof. He makes loud sounds every morning expecting his food and of course the pigeons and little birds expect to be feed. I have lizards in my apartment (those ugly grey ones that are common in Texas).

  246. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Was that you PantherSD….giggle giggle
    How sweet!! You made my day

  247. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Haha no lisa, meeting him would be a waste of my time which is very precious. I think I should’ve directed him to whores r’ us. He might have alot better luck there. 😉

  248. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    SG2, haha sorry I’m a bit slow on catching up, but I didn’t know I was on your favourites list. Aww I’m flattered, thanks. :)

  249. lisa says:

    You should meet him and have him give you the money first, then pull out a sack and hop into it, lol

  250. sweetredhead says:

    Forgot to mention the little owl that sits on my car every morning. But I like him he is cute :)

  251. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Aww lisa don’t be nervous. You’ve met twice already, so everything will be ok. And I’m sure he’s anxious to see you today, just be yourself and everything else will fall into place. :)

  252. sweetredhead says:

    Good afternoon everyone! Cold here!! and drizzling. No playing in the pool for me after work :(

    Darn frogs kept me up again. Hope their mating season ends soon! Just when I get used to the noise that’s when it will stop lmao. The darn frogs are worse then the lizards and I hate lizards lol. Not to mention the snake that my dog killed in the back yard. starting to think I live in the country not the city lol. Darn critters everywhere!

  253. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Oh I just got the best laugh for the day from the same guy who emailed me asking how he could get me in the sack a couple of times a month. Well remember I emailed him back by saying a gentleman? Today he emailed me this: “Well I am a gentleman, I just don’t have time to beat around the bush, so I was just up front. what do you think? lets make a deal.”

    Haha, he THINKS he’s a gentleman?!?!? I’m sorry but gentleman don’t ask you to hop in the sack right away, lol. I don’t think so mister, NEXT!

  254. lisa says:

    I’m nervous about seeing my sd today. This will be our third date but I haven’t seen him in 2 weeks so it’s like meeting someone new again kind of.

  255. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hola! How are you two? Baking in the heat of TX and AZ???

  256. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Hey lisa, haha I love your avatar (the lil birdie). That wouldn’t happen to be Percy, would it?

    Ababy80 welcome to the blog. I think they’re gonna be making quite a few changes to the blog as well as the site itself. So I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens.

  257. Jai*277171* says:

    Morning Lisa :)

    Hey Villa :)

  258. lisa says:

    Good morning Villa

  259. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hey Jai!!!!! :)

    was wondering when you would be waking up!!

  260. lisa says:

    Good morning Jai

  261. Jai*277171* says:

    If they implement a chat feature, I really wont be able to keep up lol The slow loading helps me catch up when I’m gone for a while lol

  262. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Lisa – you must have a super metabolism… how do you eat all that food and still be 100 pounds?????????? damn girl! lucky! I’m eating greek yoghourt. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

  263. Jai says:

    Morning everyone :) Welcome Ababy!

    How goes it?

  264. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    hi Ababy80 – welcome to the blog!

    From what I understand/have heard on the blog…. the site is working on implementing a chat room of sorts….

  265. lisa says:

    Hi everyone I went down and got me a big burger. It’s still cool outside which is nice.

  266. Ababy80 says:

    I’ve been lurking here for a couple of days, boy is it hard to keep up with you guys!! Why doesn’t the site make a forum or a chat instead of having comment after comment on a blog? just curious

  267. Panther SD says:

    Off to another meeting. I shall return.

  268. Panther SD says:

    RedMaru – Check your mail.

  269. RedMaru *210789* says:

    I’m still here!!! If you left already see ya lisa

  270. lisa says:

    Hey where is everyone this morning?
    I guess i’ll come back later

  271. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Good morning! It’s beautiful in Minneapolis… :)

    have fun this afternoon, Lisa! 😉

  272. lisa says:

    Good morning RedMaru

    It’s a little chilly in Houston this morning too. Wish it would stay this way but it will be hot by mid day.

  273. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Hey PantherSD! You’re right its usually warm. We’ve been going through periods of warm and cool down here. So yeah its a little chilly outside

    Hey lisa!!

  274. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. Slept late this morning, feeling pretty good now.
    Gotta get dressed, eat something and wait to see if my sd comes by in the mid afternoon.

  275. Panther SD says:

    Good morning all. Another beautiful day today.

    RedMaru – You need a jacket? I thought it was always warm down there. 😉

  276. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Good morning everyone! :) Today has been a great morning for me here in NC. One of my old potentials who had a family emergency last month and said he wouldn’t be around for awhile, IMed me and wants to set up a coffee date! I’m pretty excited since he was the best potential I had talked to so far (no talk about sex yet, just my interests and allowance, etc.). We have great chemistry it seems so hopefully something good will develop of this weekend. My only problem is my insurance ran out on my mom’s car and I don’t have the money to pay it yet, so I gotta get a taxi to get there. :( And I have to do all of this without my parents being suspicious of where I’m going. A hard task, but hey I’m always up for a challenge. 😉

  277. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Hey NC Gent!
    Morning E you have a good day too despite work(ewww) I know how that feels

  278. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Good morning sugars blog vets(lol) and newcomers….clear and cold here in GA
    I acually had to bundle up last night in bed and I needed a jacket today!

  279. NC Gent says:

    Good morning all — will be lurking while working today!

  280. E says:

    Good morning sugars!!!!
    Ugh, lots of work to do today :(

    *Curious Jane-you are most welcome.

    *Hope everyone has a great day!!!

  281. sweetredhead says:

    Good morning sugars. Another rainy day here in Florida, but we need it.

    Congratulations O(ne) P(oint) O(f) V(iew)!!!

    Off to work for me, Have a great day everyone!!

  282. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    Suga, My ex moved there last year.. and yes you do have them. :) Search it out.

    You also have The Power Exchange.. vink vink

  283. curious jane says:

    E —– THANKS…. that is what i had in my mind… i didn’t see any other suggestions…. appreciate the time and input.


  284. SFsuga says:

    I don’t think we have a 25+ club here in San Francisco, but I think that is a great idea. I am so over the club scene mainly because of young guys with big egos and small brains who follow me around all night and then beg me to go home with them. Poor things. So pathetic.

  285. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    andrew, that’s what it means.. but as the rule goes in virtually every club.. age restriction usually only applies to the men :)

    Especially in specific clubs that cater to SD/SB.. if it is the right kind of place (usually the lounges in financial districts) men usually have business meetings at these lounges which serve dinner/cocktails from 8pm-10pm, then the place turns in to a night lounge. I like these places best, because you dont have the clubbing teenybopper hooligan type crowds with your crappy top 40 music. :) Classy crowd, VERY strict dress code… often places that have fashion shows within them, and celeb hot spots during film festivals, ect.

  286. Andrew50 says:

    Hi, Scarlett. I’ve never heard of a 25+ lounge. Does that mean that only people at least age 25 are allowed in? If so, how did you get in?

  287. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    So bored, wish more people on here were in Toronto.

    What an un eventful night… geez!

    .. at least I have my cat.. :(

  288. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Good night Beach! I’m going to bed as well…. ciao !! x

  289. Jai says:

    Alrighty folks, I’m off to bed. Got an appointment in the am :)

    Sleep well and sweet dreams sugars :)

  290. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    Ok sugars! i’m off to bed!
    I have to work tomorrow :(
    thank you again for all the birthday wishes!
    night all!

  291. Andrew50 says:

    Jai: Right back atcha, sweetie.

  292. Jai says:

    Andy- 😛 Exactly. I knew I liked you 😀

  293. Andrew50 says:

    Jai: Oh, and just like the river I’ve been running ever since. lol

  294. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Glad you got it BG! lol

  295. Jai says:

    Villa-I wish! Lol that would be a lovely place for a SD/SB meet and greet weekend

    Andy-I was born by a river…in a little tent 😉 If you’re a country boy, you should at least snicker at that.

  296. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    Andrew~ you are too funny!

  297. Andrew50 says:

    BG: Yup, I was born on the farm, in the same bed where my pappy was born, and his pappy before him.

  298. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Thanks, glad you enjoyed them :)

    Jai – hell yea go to MIRAVAL!!!!!!!! Looks wonderful!

  299. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    Lol I had to go read your profile VC~ lol
    I get everything, hummm maybe i’m not as french as i thought!!! lmao

  300. Andrew50 says:

    VillaCypris: I still don’t know how to pronounce those words, but the photos sure were fun to look at.

  301. Jai says:

    Out of Tucson :) A little Vegas trip or something before I head to Japan for a month…Or :) If I could convince my SD to go to Miraval for a night lol I’ll stay in Tucson.

  302. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    Andrew~ no prob! just the thought right now,,,, lol
    are you really a farm boy? or country i should say?

  303. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    hahaha @ andrew…. really? maybe that’s why no one writes to me… they can’t understand what i’m saying!!!

  304. Andrew50 says:

    BG: Sorry. I was born in a barn and forgot my manners. My mama would be so ashamed of me right now.

  305. Jai says:

    Andy-Ewwwww lol what a time to be thought of 😛 I’ll take what I can get though lol thanks for thinking of me 😉

  306. Andrew50 says:

    VillaCypris: I’m just a country boy; I had to use google to find out what the words in your profile mean. lol

  307. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    Andrew50~ ahhh no toenail clippings please!!! I think my cake tried to get out a little! or maybe the wine!

  308. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    I’m fantastic, thanks! You’re trying to get out of Tucson? or away from the blog

  309. Andrew50 says:

    Hi VC, BG

    Jai: I would never discount you. I think of you every time I clip my toenails. :)

  310. Jai says:

    Hi Villa :) Tucson is great. Trying to get out of here for a minute though. How are you?

  311. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    VC~ no prob! i don’t think anyone sits and waits on the blog do they? I come and go lol….

  312. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    hi jai!

    how’s tuscon??? my little brother was / is there this weekend…. hot hot hot!

  313. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Sorry BG. Was cleaning up my kitchen. Search goes on…. 😉

  314. Jai says:

    Congrats on the baby news OPOV :)

    Bob-O, don’t discount us younger sugars (I’m 23) We have much to offer. :)

    Had to say those things first 😛 What’s up everyone?! 😀

  315. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    VC~ how is your search going?

  316. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    It’s nice to see SDs here!

  317. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    I’m glad you two have joined us, Andrew50 and johnq…. you have great insight and commentary.

  318. johnq says:

    Coincidentally enough, I just turned down an invitation from a 23-year old SB who had possibly the cutest pictures and most interesting profile I’ve seen here. Broke my heart, but I just can’t see a relationship involving a 28 year age gap. I completely agree with Andrew50 on this.


  319. Andrew50 says:

    SFSuga: It was never my goal to find the youngest SB possible. At some point, it becomes embarrassing to be seen out in public together, and the generation gap can make it hard to carry on a conversation. I am 50, and the youngest I sent an email to was 25 and the youngest I actually met was 27.

  320. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    GG~ glad your date last night went well, happy for you!
    OPOV~ I know kids won’t fix anything… but it’s your child! You will spoil and pamper the baby for sure!

  321. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Well, OPOV, just being considerate…. glad you are happy with the state of affairs.

    Hi goodgirl…. doing well. How are you?

  322. goodgirl*313749 says:

    Hi VC and BG :) how are we this evening?

  323. O(ne) P(oint) O(f) V(iew) says:

    VC – a congrats is always appropriate. I’m not one to go around saying “Oh, sh*t!” just because there may be another little one running around. But, at 46 (47 by the time I meet the baby) I cringe a bit at myself at the baby’s (boy/girl?) h.s. graduation.

    As I was writing this, it dawned on me that this brings a whole new dynamic of “spoiling your baby” because you know I probably will. :)

  324. goodgirl*313749 says:

    Big Congrsts to you OPOV :) Bets wishes to you and your family! *hugs*
    Give us a wave now and again from the ‘bench’ 😉

  325. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    VC~ 35 miles WOW! I think i will need a few miles of rollerblading too, i hate so much over the weekend and had way too much wine and cake!

  326. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    OPOV~ congrats!!
    Hope you will still be blogging with us! and give your insights…

  327. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Doing well, Beach. Went rollerblading 35 miles yesterday AND today…. so I’m a wee bit tired this evening. Glad you had a fun birthday weekend!

    OPOV – congratulations, if that’s appropriate…

  328. O(ne) P(oint) O(f) V(iew) says:

    Hello angels. (always had that Charlie and his angels fantasy)

    Got a bit of information this weekend that caught me by surprise but was not wholly unexpected – my wife told me that she’s pregnant again. It was expected in that she had been trying for quite some time to get pregnant since her last (my son is 5) but after all this time I didn’t believe it was going to happen.

    As such, I think I will be out of the sugar games for some time now. Not that I want to, and not that this would solve all our problems or silence my sugar tooth, but when it is viewed that a married man carries the negative connotation of cheating on his wife, cheating on his pregnant wife is probably gonna peg me as some scum-bag. So it is probably best to watch from the sidelines.

  329. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    Hey VC~ saw some friends, had dinners and lots of wine! lol
    how are you?

  330. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    I’m still here….. what did you do for your birthday??

  331. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    Anybody left?????

  332. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    Good night Bob!

  333. bob says:

    good night

  334. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    thanks VC

  335. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    Girlie~ I had a great day, and weekend too! The food was To Die for! the wine wonderful!!!

  336. girlie says:

    Cake and wine. Heaven, in my mind. Did you have tons of b-day celebrations, BG?

    25 with an age complex…SFsuga, no girl :( Women are amazing at every age. You couldn’t pay me to go back prior to where you are now. Everyone said that there would be huge shift in my mindset around 29-30 and wow, were they right.

  337. bob says:


  338. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hi everyone!

    beach – bonne anniversaire!!!!!! :)

  339. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    OPOV~ thank you! I feel younger!
    SuzieQ~ thank god your eating it! I just can’t eat anymore, too much cake and wine!
    Lisa Thank you

  340. lisa says:


  341. SuzieQ*297329* says:

    OPOV – I didn’t a quick double take on that one myself!

    BG – I have a HUGE (like 400 gram) bar of dark chocolate here that I am nibbling on in celebration of your special day. YUM!

  342. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    hahaha bob 😛 thats on my other OTHERRR profile! 😉

  343. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    SuzieQ~ thank you!

  344. O(ne) P(oint) O(f) V(iew) says:

    Evening sugars

    Angela300373 Says:
    May 18th, 2009 at 9:25 pm

    “Today and yesterday has been unseasonably cool and beautiful!
    It was soooo much fun shopping with another Sugar baby! We were picking out stuff for eachother and giving OPOV’s to eachother!”

    Just for the record, I wasn’t there. Must have been someone else. 😀

    Happy B-day BeachGirl!

  345. SuzieQ*297329* says:

    Happy Birthday Beach Girl! Hi everyone….going to catch up on the blog a bit….brb

  346. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    Hello Sugars!
    Thank you for the Birthday wishes! I did have a great day!

  347. SFsuga says:

    I am 25 y/o, but I have an age complex thanks to the media.

  348. bob says:

    Sorry long day on the golf course with the guys(drinking might have been involed).

  349. lisa says:

    wow percy is going on have his own “birds gone wild” party.

  350. bob says:

    Now if you said in your profile “ANAL, SOWLOW, SUBMISSIVE” that would be diffrent.
    That is just a joke for sweetredhead and scarlett

  351. lisa says:

    I prefer to shop by myself because I feel guilty about buying stuff i don’t need. I am one to buy expensive items and clearance items. On lingerie and cosmetics I tend to buy expensive whereas clothing, I shop at mall stores since I get tired of my clothes quicky, it makes no sense to spend all my money on one item.

  352. bob says:

    I am 46 and 28 is as young as I would go

  353. bob says:

    good evening every one hope all is well

    Jai have to try the recipe thing tommrow at work. found out 7mg is to big to send….yes I am stupied when it comes to computers and scanning.

    Lisa I have 4 exotic birds lined up to srew percys brains out for his birthday.

  354. girlie says:

    Out of curiousity, SFsuga….how old are you?

  355. girlie says:

    Sounds fun, Angela. The best of a both worlds, really. And someone to shop with….a major plus in itself.

    Hello Jai…..discuss your dinner :) I love to hear about food.

  356. SFsuga says:

    I find it interesting that some SB’s lie about there age by saying they are older. I shaved a couple of years off my profile to see if I would get more responses. I met a guy last week and everything went great, but he emailed me today saying I was too young for him and he was going to move on. lol! Serves me right for lying.

    I have never met an SD on this site under 36. Most SD’s are middle aged. What age range do you all think is ideal for an SD who is in his mid 40’s? I just assumed all men wanted the youngest girls possible.

  357. goodgirl*313749 says:

    ok~this is for the mommas…
    don’t know if any of you are familiar with ‘Children’s Orchard’ (it’s a childrens clothing consignment store) but I took my daughter there today, and the whole way there she kept asking me if we were at ‘Kids Torture’ yet! LMFAO!!!! :)
    also she kept asking if we could stop at ‘Subway eat fresh’ like it’s all one word. lol

  358. lisa says:

    Percy says hi to everyone. He needs to be taught to eat the treats I give him, not dance around them and hump them, lol
    Since i’m off this coming saturday and invited my family over i’m thinking of having a combination daughter’s graduation/percy’s one year anniversery with me party. I’ll get a little cake and we will celebrate both, my daughter will hate that as she is sooooo jealous of her little brother Percy, lol

  359. goodgirl*313749 says:

    Hi Lisa~say hi to percy. lol
    Angela~that sounds like soooo much fun!!!

  360. Jai*277171* says:

    Hey lisa, Angela, girlie :)

    How’s Percy, Lisa?

    Congrats on your sugar dates Angela :)

  361. Angela300373 says:

    girlie: It is a little bit of both.
    Sometimes she will be gone and sometimes she will be there. Sometimes I spend time with both of them together. Last night was mostly him. (Till he went to bed…….) Today was all her.

  362. lisa says:

    Good evening Jai

  363. Jai*277171* says:

    Evening all :)

    GG-Lol love the Rihanna remix. And at least someone will readily accept my massage offers lol I have to practically beg my SD…submit proposals, graphs, flow charts 😛

  364. Angela300373 says:

    I love anything “out of the ordinary” so Art Car is soooo cool. I would like to make my 1987 Crown Victoria into an Art Car someday……

    He works A LOT so when I come here I have time during the day to do whatever I want. (Mostly I have been enjoying thier HOT TUB)

    Next time, maybe we could go shopping all the places you normally can’t because of lack of transportation. (I was ithout a vehicle/licsence for over a year so i KNOW what it is like……NOW…I will give a ride to anyone who needs it!)

  365. girlie says:

    I’m quite curious about the idea of a sugar couple……mostly just from a detail standpoint. Angela, do you only see them as a duo or do they like to form individual relationships?

  366. lisa says:

    I haven’t been over there in years, since 98 actually when I used to go to the clinic for bc pills. It is kinda hard to get over there on the bus as the wait between connections is about 50 minutes.

    I don’t go anywhere except downtown and the galleria when I feel like getting out of my neighborhood. I go to the museums very rarely except when some exhibit interests me which means I’ve been twice, both times to the Bodywords exhibits. they were about 2 years apart.

  367. Angela300373 says:

    Yes! and Yes. I missed the art car parade last weekend since it was Mom’s day. Yes it is on Heights Blvd. The building is very strange looking.
    You should check it out! it is free (SD didn’t know it was free and it was my idea…so he was not being cheap.) They are having a sculpture exibit right now that was interesting.

    Today and yesterday has been unseasonably cool and beautiful!
    It was soooo much fun shopping with another Sugar baby! We were picking out stuff for eachother and giving OPOV’s to eachother!

  368. goodgirl*313749 says:

    Hi lisa :) you crack me up!!
    JQ~ I do 😉 and if you’re half as good in person as you sound on the blog, i would.
    BBL~minor pet mess catastrophe… my work is never done.

  369. lisa says:

    Hi Angela I think I have seen your sugarcouple’s profile “tired of being broke” is that it? Sounds like you had a sugary day. Is the art car museum in the Heights? I remember when I used to go a clinic near a place that had all kinds of decorated cars outside.

    The weather was lovely today from what I;ve heard but of course I was stuck inside the store all day.

  370. Angela300373 says:

    Hey all Yall!

    I am in Houston with my Sugar Couple! I spent time with him yesterday (Art Car Museum). Her and I went shopping today and had lunch at a great seafood place. I got some new clothes, purse, sunglasses, swimsuits and jewelry!
    We are the same size so she also gave me some of her clothes (I am actually helping her by doing this so she has more room….LOL)

    Every time I saw a pigeon ….I thought of you Lisa!
    Next time I come to Houston maybe we could hang out lisa. you know how to reach me .

  371. johnq says:

    Thanks for the compliment, goodgirl, but I don’t think I’d score more than 50% on your list of desirable SD attributes. And that’s only if you grade on a curve.


  372. lisa says:

    Happy birthday Beach Girl! If you’re lurking out there somewhere. :)

  373. lisa says:

    Hi goodgirl

    It’s a full time job in itself and I just can’t keep up with everyone. lol
    just getting fixed up for my sd tomorrow. He’s supposed to come over in the afternoon. Hope we go out somewhere as it’s boring in my apartment, lol I can’t exactly get him on the blog, lol

    I now realize I don’t have a big butt. There was a woman in the store today and I swear her but was 3 feet wide. I think my torso could hide behind one of her thighs. She was in the chip and candy aisle too. Houstononians need to get out and exercise more and eat right. lol

  374. goodgirl*313749 says:

    Good evening sugars!!!! Good Grief! I’m gonna have to quit my job just to keep up with everyone! lol :)
    Jai~I do need an umbrela! (ela, ela. hey. hey, hey…) also, i’ll take a full body massage ANYDAY!!!
    JohnQ~ I’d trade any SD for one like you 😉
    Beachgirl~Happy Happy Birthday to you!!!!!!!!!

  375. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    lol sorry.. im studying.. last 2 weeks of classes. Hopefully my luck will turn around around the same time as my exams, and I find a super-SD who wants me to hold his hand while we travel for the summer 😉

    Here in canada we have a commercial for the 649 “HAPPY DANCE”… i’ll be doing that. :)

  376. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Doesn’t look like anyone’s here…echo
    Well I’m off to exercise at the gym like NC Gent….
    Good night to anyone that’s still here and see ya later

  377. RedMaru *210789* says:

    scarlett…can I have a little bit of your luck pretty please….lol jk
    your luck will definitely change for the better soon… you know what you want and what you don’t want

  378. lisa says:

    Hi RedMaru

  379. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Hey lisa!!!!

  380. lisa says:

    Sweetredhead, you should have dropped off your laundry as I just came from the washateria

  381. lisa says:

    Good evening everyone. Home from work, went and did some laundry and home for good now. Heard from my sd, he’s coming over tomorrow afternoon. Not sure what we are going to do but I hope we go out some place.

  382. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Same to you sweetred

  383. Jai*277171* says:

    You too red :)

  384. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I am going to go do laundry, clean up the house and relax, Have a great night everyone.

  385. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    Exactly Jsmn… :)

    Just my luck of the draw I guess.

  386. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Good night NC Gent

  387. Jai*277171* says:

    Lol sweetred :)

    Night NC

  388. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    oh sure blame the jeans lmao

  389. NC Gent says:

    You can have hugs any time you want RedMaru :)

    Ok all — I have to hit the gym so my jeans won’t make my butt look big!

    Have a great night!

  390. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    oops squash lmao

  391. jsmn.308878 says:

    Scarlett…usually the older guys who contact me aren’t so blatant about sex.

    The more respectful gentleman might say that they eventually want to have sex if things take that turn and if we get along well, and of course if I’m comfortable.

    The disrespectful asshole who hasn’t had any luck meeting anyone from this site would say I wanna fuck you first to see if there’s chemistry and then we’ll discuss an arrangement…or he’ll basically just want a hooker and expect sex on the first date – no dinner, coffee, conversation, etc.

  392. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Come on over :) yes yellow squish. little with a fat bottom and thin curved tops

  393. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Sweetred – your spaghetti sounds yummy You’re making me hungry!!!

  394. Jai*277171* says:

    Mmmm sweetred! Wait, what’s squish? 😛 I don’t know what’s for dinner tonight. We’re coming to your house :)

  395. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Thanks for the hug NC Gent…I needed a hug today.

  396. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Jai I made homemade spaghetti sauce with zucchini and squish and chicken. What for dinner at your house?

  397. RedMaru *210789* says:

    well said katrina. Now that I stopped rubbing my chin its interesting but a little too simple. With SD/SB there’s a little more involved. I agree with NC Gent and Katrina

  398. NC Gent says:

    Hi Scarlett – they just did a major server upgrade because the site became overwhelmed when the New York Times article ran — they are probably dealing with one issue at a time… sometimes growth has a downside :)

    Ironically, I met my first SB on Craigslist about 4.5 years ago, but I would never search there now. I also saw an ad for SA when I was on CL. A true SD (or gentleman) doesn’t talk about sex early on (or maybe even ever). Likewise, I don’t like receiving naked or lingerie pics, and I always say… that is a gift best unwrapped in person :) Sorry about all your troubles Scarlett — hang in there – you will find somone!

  399. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    NC — they use wordpress. I run and operate many websites that use wordpress layouts, and it is literally a click of a button and adding some scripting.. lol.. this page takes so long to load. There are plugins you can add that will enable page numbers. Ill see if I can find one, and email it to them Subject: “HINT HINT”

  400. RedMaru *210789* says:

    leasing and renting…….interesting (rubs chin)

  401. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    Exactly NC, in regards to the difference.

    That is why im having such a hard time — as I previously mentioned, most of my prospects are seeming to be Craigslist outcasts looking for a cheaper alternative, seeking out girls in a position that needs a little financial support, and thinking the prospect of set amount of dollars will entitle them to unlimited hotel visits.

    Also as I already stated, I expect the guy who contacts me to have enough self respect that he appears confident,mature and responsible — clean cut, nice dresser, clean mouth and everything else of course. 😛

    In contrast to Jasm’s post, i’d say 99% of the guys I speak to , within the first 3 replies.. has something to do with sex, or hinting at it.

    And as previously stated, my photos are not sexual — nor do I think I come off as desperate. I’m a magnet for jerks, all over the dating world. :(

  402. katrina says:

    Jai – I don’t think I agree with your SD. A healthy SDSB relationship is just that – a relationship. Sex is not a commodity except in prostitution. A self-respecting SB will make that clear and it sounds like the SD’s who blog are not interested in just sex – there must be chemistry and some kind of connection.

  403. Jai*277171* says:

    Lol sweetred. I didn’t ask for details. It just struck me as interesting he would say that. That’s why I was wondering what you guys thought 😛

  404. Jai*277171* says:

    True NC :) Like the old saying “You pay the prostitute to leave”. Don’t really want to know him/her.

  405. NC Gent says:

    hmmmm numbered pages — what a novel concept! I think they would have to change their server or server software — I think at this point we are all grateful for the blog. I know they are looking at implementing many improvements — sorry about the feed issue :(

  406. jsmn.308878 says:

    Jai…that’s so funny…

    I’ve had guys email me wanting to talk about possible marriage…I wonder why they were in such a hurry.

  407. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Ok let me get this straight. Say you rent a car it’s not yours and you have to return it. Leasing a car it’s is basically yours and you lease for a set amount of time then buy at a big payoff lol. Ok I don’t get the connection lol

  408. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    NC, great idea but im getting this error “Please enter a valid URL and try again.”

    … *hits head on desk*

    …soooo when exactly is this new version of SA coming out with forums / numbered pages on the blog? … 😛

  409. NC Gent says:

    Thank you RedMaru — hugs!

    Jai — not sure I agree with your SD – maybe if he expanded I would.

    I think the main differences are the in an SB/SD relationship the people care about each other and it isn’t all about the money. Also, from my experience, the SB cares what the SD’s appearance — most prostitutes don’t give a darn as long as you have money :)

  410. Jai*277171* says:

    My SD just said something interesting :) He said the difference between SD/SB relationships and prostitution is leasing and renting. What do you guys think?

  411. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Hey NC Gent!!! Good to have ya back

  412. Jai*277171* says:

    You’re welcome :) and you’ve got more mail scarlett

  413. jsmn.308878 says:

    I have so much to say but no time at all lol…

    I don’t talk to guys who want JUST sex…if they mention it in the first email or while chatting, I will not talk to them anymore unless it’s to tell them what a jerk/asshole they are and those guys usually try to pursue once I retreat (of course I won’t talk to them anymore)…I’m not comfortable with that sort of conversation at all. I demand and expect respect and give it return. I’m very vocal about what I’m not comfortable with and what I feel is right or wrong. I’m very straightforward but I’m also sweet and don’t like raising my voice or cursing.

    As far as age [in general] everyone has their preferences but most of the guys on this site aren’t limiting themselves to just one age group of people (and sometimes gender 😉

    It’s not impossible that because of my age someone would actually be serious about getting to know me and not want just sex…I’m meeting a pot. tomorrow and we haven’t been on the subject of sex and he wants this sort of relationship with just one person. He hasn’t pressured me at all. We’ll meet and see where things go.

    Wednesday I have another date (35) and he hasn’t pressured me about sex…neither of them have asked for explicit/provocative photos. I have a profile pic of me in a bikini – I don’t think that makes me more “sex-friendly” or easy.

    K…gotta go.

  414. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Good evening everyone. ughhhh been one of those days!! printers broke down something with the connection to all our printers and the computers. WE NEED those printers for EVERYTHING! WHat a mess today.

    So that is my excuse for not reading all the LONG posts tonight I am just to tired.

    How is everyone else this evening?

  415. NC Gent says:

    Hello all — I have been AWOL for a while — no sugar news or anything like that — just read back a little bit…. a lot of new bloggers. Welcome everyone.

    Scarlett — you can use the RSS feed option at the top of the blog so you don’t constantly have to reload the entire blog — works well until you want to post lol

  416. Jai*277171* says:


  417. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    Thanks Jai, and Mr.Jai 😉

  418. katrina says:

    Happy birthday, BeachGirl!

  419. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Hey sweetred!!!

  420. RedMaru *210789* says:

    Oh wow it’s Beach_girls B-day and I didn’t get ya anything.
    Oh well Happy Birthday Beach_girl hope you’re enjoying your day!!
    Yeah I went and put my profile number up all…about time right?

  421. Jai*277171* says:

    I second that! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEACH! Hope you didn’t get to drunk over the weekend 😀

    Oh yeah! What up sweetred?! How was work? You’ll have mail in a few minutes :)

  422. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY Beach_girl :O)

  423. Jai*277171* says:

    You’ve got mail Scarlett

  424. RedMaru says:

    Yeah you can see my face now..whooo!
    I still have yet to get prospects to shift through….(sheepish smile)
    Thanks for the tips Scarlett

  425. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    BTW, guys..

    Getting prospects is not a problem.

    It’s getting the right ones that is. :) I have no problems getting offers, but they just are not what I am looking for.

    Ive heard many suggestions for profiles from both ends of the spectrum.

    Panther has his idea, though i’ve also heard that “be 100% honest in what you are looking for”

    Ive tried short and sweet, or long and detailed. And its the point where it comes to planning the first date that stops things dead in it’s tracks. :( Again, possibly because of the age thing. I seek out mature and responsible men — but those men do not see a 22 year old girl as much more than a fun toy to play with during a lunch break.

    Np Red, now we can see your face! :) Be careful posting a picture of yourself that you would not want seen somewhere else — if you are using the same email to post. I have another email address I use for business, and when I post on any forums that use Gravatar — they see a different photo, when I type in that different email address. :)

  426. RedMaru says:

    I would have to say my cake is definitely triple layered

  427. Panther SD says:

    RedMaru – is your cake single, double or tripple layered? :)

  428. katrina says:

    Scarlett, you smart cookie you – thank you for the avatar directions

  429. RedMaru says:

    That was easy thanks Scarlett!!!

  430. Panther SD says:

    Ok JohnQ your post piqued my interest.

    So I went back and viewed Jsmn’s profile ( I had already view Scarlett’s). Coming from a 37 year old I can offer this. A profile accentuating positives, fun, and possible chemistries always attract me. If I see a lot of “this is what I want, why and why I deserve/want it” I lose interest. A simple “this is what I am looking for” will suffice.

    I can live with a SB stating her boundaries regarding “treatment and sex”. I do however pay close attention to her tact and how she presents herself. I recently traded emails with a SB who sent me alluring pictures (did not ask for explicit) to draw me in. I informed her I would not agree to anything until we meet face to face to see if we have chemistry. I found is interesting she asked me if the first date included SEX. I said no. I have meet a few SBs on the site and never even broached the subject until after we have seen each other a few times then formulate an arrangement.

    Typically I steer clear or any Sb that gives the impression of “every guy I have talked to has been like this or like that.” I don’t like the idea of fighting preconceived perceptions because of some bad experiences. Or simply put, the idea of trying to prove I am not like them is a waste of my time. Of course that is just me.

    My ramblings are my own thoughts and are NOT directed at Jsmn or Scarlett’s profiles. And you are correct Johnq, location is also a factor. Jsmn lives a lot closer then Scarlett.

  431. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    I have all the ingredients, and the over pre-heated.. just not sure if I want to make a chocolate or vanilla cake. Pudding filled? Almonds? So many options…!

    btw, Redmaru.. go to gravatar.com and sign up with the email you use to post on here.. after you confirm, you will be asked to upload a photo which you can then crop down to size, and after saving..it will appear here within 5 min or so. :) <3

  432. RedMaru says:

    Well said Scarlett!!1
    I forgot to welcome you to the blog…BTW
    Someone please tell me how to get my avatar up here so y’all can put a face to my posts

  433. RedMaru says:

    And my cake is definitely done…hee hee

  434. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    JQ , Wow.. !

    Well, first off.. it very well may be a mixture of A and B. While I am not stereotyping J for her age, (especially since im arguing that people do not do the same for me) — it can be argued that one’s experiences may vary from another resulting in a very bitter, and more alert female — VS an innocent and possibly naive (for lack of better term) girl.
    .. And as you put it, this would result in girl A interpreting “Hey baby lets meet” as a bad sign, while girl B might see a positive sign.

    As far as sex goes, you hit it on the nail — and with a mutually respectful relationship, sex is a given. I would not be with someone I could not give myself fully to — it comes with the territory! But we have to get there first. If I was looking for a wam-bam-thankyou-ma’am, i’d go on craigslist. This is the situation im finding all too often, where guys are not into establishing a relationship that we can both enjoy fully — and are looking for something else. As you said… Good sex that is mutually wanted, VS bad sex that is forced/expected/feels like an obligation

    Also, as far as age goes — I can see how guys would have problems being with a younger girl in public, but you never know unless you speak with her — msn, phone, then later at a bar or a 25+ lounge.

    FYI, 25+ lounges in most major cities cater to the SD/SB idea. The women are often 20-25, and you will usually see about 2-5 of them around one man who is in his 30s, 40s, or even 50s. Then you get the usual crowd of people, girls who go with their friends or guys who go with their friends… some just for dancing and drinks. But this type of crowd is a good setting, I find both parties agree where they can both feel comfortable and not out of place, and get an idea of how the other one acts in such type of situation. :)

    Girls lie about their age all the time.. and if you were dating a girl who told you she was 30 and got along great, and later you found out she was 22-25, besides the actual lie, would that change anything?

    As previously suggested I changed my age a bit, to see how this effects my responses. But I do not think I can pull off, or want to pull off 30.. as I am still in university.

    But I think it depends on the girl you meet — for example, besides my being on my own for so long, my sister and brother in law are 14 years older than myself. That puts them at 37. With that being said, we do have mutual friends, most of which are in their mid 30s, even some in their 40s. Yes, people I actually hang out with. People I actually go to their houses, and they come to mine. At 22, my best friend in fact is 33 years old, and not someone I met through my sister or brother in law.

    With that being said, you never know if a girl can fulfill your needs, and if it is just one or two things holding you back..especially if they are assumptions, best idea would be to contact them to make sure.. you never know if you are passing up Mr or Ms. Perfect :)

  435. RedMaru says:

    Panther SD – icing and a cherry on her cake I like that.

  436. Jai*277171* says:

    Yep bob-o. waiymee at g m a i l dot c o m :)

  437. RedMaru says:

    And your avatar is very pretty…How do I put mine up there

  438. bob says:

    Jai is gmail gmaildotcom?

  439. johnq says:

    An interesting data point from Jsmn: her profile identifies her as 19, yet she’s getting respectful and apparently serious responses from men in their late 40s and 50s. This is in contrast to Scarlett, who’s 22 and is having the problems that have been discussed above. Interesting.

    So either (a) Jsmn and Scarlett are getting the same types of responses, but interpreting them differently, with Jsmn interpreting them positively and Scarlett interpreting them negatively, or (b) they’re getting qualitatively different responses because of something in their profile other than age, or (c) Jsmn’s just been luckier than Scarlett.

    I don’t know which of these is true, but I would guess a combination of (a) and (b). It’s possible Jsmn is more comfortable with a somewhat higher degree of sexual explicitness than is Scarlett, so the same message from the same guy may leave a different impression. I don’t see anything in the two profiles that would lead responders to be more sexually explicit with Scarlett than Jsmn (quite the opposite, in fact, since Jsmn’s pictures are clearly more sexual than are Scarlett’s), but the difference may be a function of the geographic difference. Or possibly the racial difference. (Please don’t read anything into this, since I have no idea how if or why this would be significant, but it’s an obvious difference and should at least be considered in determining why the responses are so different.)

    Since I can’t figure out what’s going on here, the only thing I can go on is my own feelings. I’m 51. I believe I’m respectful of women I’ve known in general, and the women I’ve met through this site. I don’t send explicit emails, don’t ask for explicit pictures, and am willing to commit to an arrangement before sex has even been discussed, much less offered. My sense is that sex will necessarily be part of an ongoing relationship, but if the woman feels pressured into it the sex isn’t going to be any good anyway, and I’m not interested in bad sex. (If I were, I would have stayed married.)

    I wouldn’t be interested in a 19 year old, or a 22 year old, since I would feel awkward being seen in public with someone who’s a full generation younger than me, and I’d have to wonder if I’d have enough in common with someone of that age to have an actual relationship.

    Extrapolating from this, my sense is that if I were to respond to either of these profiles (as opposed to the blog postings, which give a fuller feeling about both women), it would probably be because I was interested in more or less meaningless sex. (This reminds me of the Woody Allen saying that as meaningless things go, meaningless sex is one of the better ones.)

    I can’t be sure about why other people are responding to these profiles, though obviously some of these men are swine. And I’m sort of making this up, since I’m trying to put myself into the head of someone who’s like me demographically, but not much like me emotionally. But I suspect that a substantial percentage (possibly close to 100%) of the men who are 48+ who respond to either of these profiles are men who are interested in sex with a woman who is (at least from their perspective) quite young.

    YMMV, and maybe I’m completely wrong here. But if Scarlett listed herself as 30, and if she were geographically in my ballpark, I’d be very likely to respond positively if she emailed me. Possibly the same for Jsmn, though it’s tougher in that case because her face is blurred, and that’s fairly important to me.

    My perspective on this, and, as always, not intended as a reflection of anything going on anywhere except my own head.


  440. Jai*277171* says:

    E-That’s right! I totally agree.

  441. E says:

    Don’t worry scarlett, you will find the bloke….and if you dont find him he will find you!!

  442. Jai*277171* says:

    I’ve been bitten by the midday sleepy bug *YAWN* I need to go jog or something lol

  443. Jai says:

    You will Scarlett. Stay positive and keep at it :)

  444. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    ok guys blah you’re making me blush, stop 😛

    I don’t tell people that a lot — but I had to make a point, that.. as Kat mentioned, there are exceptions!

    Just a young girl struggling to stay on track.. and avoid the big red R on my next credit report!

    Anyway.. I just hope I can find a normal guy soon. :)

  445. Jai says:

    Hey E! Thanks for the compliment. lol I don’t know how lucky he’s feeling right now. I think I took too much off the sides :(

    I second that RedMaru. Scarlett that is awesome! :)

  446. Jai says:

    Scarlett you’ve got mail :)

  447. RedMaru says:

    scarlett-on your own since fifteen and put yourself through college hats off to you girl……if I had it I would want to use to help ya….smile

  448. E says:

    Cooking, cutting hair, med school-Jai that SD is a lucky guy, I’ll bet he is treating you well :)

  449. E says:

    Panther-good one :) Thank goodness my cake is baked then LOL

    Hi Scarlett welcome to the blog!!

    Who (and It’s a long scroll up to double check) but whoever said that being too young might be a reason SB’s in general or just in particular brings up a good point, but both my SD’s and the SD i might embark upon an arrangement with are late 40s. I agree that the first one I had was an alpha male ego dude but the last two gents were not alpha males at all. They were tired of dating women in their 30s who wanted to marry them and wanted someone mature (which I don’t know if I am or not but at least I can fake like I am LOL!!!) and younger and fun. I don’t think I’ve ever been approached by an SD under 40.

  450. Jai says:

    Scarlett is that you in the avatar?! You’re gorgeous! :)

  451. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    Oh and Katrina.. thank you very much. I don’t know why I didn’t see your post before… maybe the steam from my ears was clouding my vision 😀 Hug!

  452. Jai says:

    Sorry Bob, I was cutting my SDs hair :) I didn’t get the email

  453. Panther SD says:

    RedMaru –

    Ohh a lot of us are attracted to women with aspirations. For a while i explictied noted I was looking for someone who wanted “icing and a cherry on her cake. If you don’t already have the cake, i can’t help you.”


  454. bob says:

    Jai where are you girl

  455. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    Ohhh Bob, if you only knew… iffff youuu onllyyy knewwwwwwww


  456. RedMaru says:

    Scarlett- you would think a guy would want to help a girl who has goals and aspirations not just a spa addiction. That’s one addiction I wouldn’t mind having…lol

  457. bob says:

    WELL WHY DIDNT YOU SAY SUBMISSIVE. What airlines fly form Texas to Canada, and what is your favorite hotel there.
    Just kidding

  458. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    LOL Don’t worry, and don’t feel bad.. I hate making people feel bad. It’s just a conversation.. I was just arguing my points, is all.. trying to clear things up :)

    I appreciate the help. However, I am constantly adjusting my profile to accommodate what people have suggested. From what i’ve read in other girl’s profiles in the past — they are very materialistic, and dishonest — and I tried to make mine as clear as possible without coming off too dominating (As honestly, im very passive-submissive.. it’s just the frustration from this search that leads to occasional outbursts!)

    But in all honesty, what was said before really turned on a light bulb in my head in regards to the age situation. Even you said it yourself, that you find it hard to believe a girl at a specific age has such financial obligations. But if a girl who was 30 had the same obligations, it would not be out of the norm.. :) It’s interesting, don’t you think?

    But like I said — nobody ever really wants to hear the whole story, and i’m not posting WHY I have needs on my profile to come off like used dirty laundry. It’s just a hit and miss, try and talk to people as much as possible and see if youre on the same page. I’ll find my Richard Gere eventually. :)

  459. katrina says:

    Bob – I thought your insight was really good. It is just good to be reminded that there are always exceptions.
    How awesome that this young girl has been on her own for so long and is so still focused and determined. Definitely an exception.

  460. RedMaru says:

    Thanks bob you’re so sweet…hee hee

  461. katrina says:

    Scarlett – that is funny. Make sure you have witty and sarcastic on your profile. : )

  462. bob says:

    Now I feel bad and that was not my intention. sorry for any misunderstangs.

  463. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    Well when a girl has been on her own since the age of 15, is putting herself through university and has many financial obligations that have her look forward to her Mr.Noodles at the end of the day, my (actually) 2-4 range is not so insane, especially since I am looking for ONE guy. Not 5, in the 1-3 range… because that is what most girls do. :) I do not want to juggle multiple SDs to help my shoe addiction.

    I want one, to help me through this hump. And I don’t think I am asking for anything out of the ordinary — the 3-5 range would not be on there if it was something too high.

    But, people do not like to hear the background story, now do they? That is why you speak with the girl, and find out more about her and possibly even WHY her “needs are that high”, because you might be surprised.

    Alternatively, as from my original post.. 99% of the men I am coming across are (as previously mentioned, young duds or older man looking for hotel hookups) — who are addicted to craigslist “if you know what i mean”, and in fact — if a girl is not smart about things, will prove to be a better alternative at 1k per month.. when a man is used to spending 500 per hour.

    To avoid THAT circumstance, also, my “range” is high — to weed out men who are not in this seriously, for the long haul, or at least a little genuine.

    You didn’t offend me, it’s just a classic case of misunderstandings and why communication is important. Maybe I am asking for too much, however I know — if I was in a position to help someone, I would jump on it in a second.

    You would think a man would be more willing to help a girl with goals and independence rather than the shoe and spa addictions. Only time will tell. Maybe i’ll just change my profile to “Whatever you can give me. I am available for you at the drop of a hat. I don’t even care if you are handsome.” — and that will work in my favor.

    I’ll keep you guys updated. :)

  464. jsmn.flavored.308878 says:

    I’m a very strong minded/strong willed person…I think older guys are usually surprised at that – I’m not easily controlled especially not with something like this.

    Most of the messages I’ve received have been from much older guys 48+ and most are very respectful and not jerks. Things didn’t work out with those guys if we wanted different things or if they wanted a lot of my time or just different expectations altogether and it usually ended on a good note. I’ve never got the feeling that any of them we’re domineering or controlling which I wouldn’t stand for anything like that anyway.

    As far as my age – I’m actually 19 – I don’t feel like I’ve ever been approached differently than an older female just because of my age. If anything…I’m approached more because of my age (by men of all ages). I wouldn’t lie about my age though. My body doesn’t even look like the body of an older woman lol. I’ll be 20 this year and still look very young for my age (which isn’t a bad thing)…

  465. bob says:

    Scralett I think I was typing to fast and trying to email Jai a recipe. Pluss the fact I canot spell. Yes the age thing does hurt you.
    And please do not get offended at this I om only trying to help. And I am only talking from my point of view in what I am looking for. When a girls profile at your age starts in the 3,000-5,000 range it does not make a lot of sense that your needs are that high. Also dont try to prove how smart you are. Just list stuff about you that is fun and entertaining. And be true to yourself. If you are looking for a guy that will take you on trips say “can travel at the drop of a hat”. If you cannot travel then do not list travel and places you have been. If all you really want is a mentor then just list 1,000 dollars or say open to negotionations. These are just general comments not specif to you just something for you to think about.
    I really hope I have not offended you

    Red will help on anything I can

  466. bob says:

    JAi did you get the email

  467. RedMaru says:

    Very good posts especially from the SD’s
    bob I doubt your post is retarded…smile so what ropes a person in cause I need some tips I think.

  468. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    Bob, handsome can mean many things. I’m not looking for or expecting to find a brad pitt on here. But someone who considers their appearance important and comes off clean and professional — that is the definition of handsome, or beauty.

    I doubt any SD would particularly enjoy walking around with a girl in booty shorts and a tube top — you would expect her to portray a specific image of self respect.

    Is it hard to believe we look for the same? :)

    Johnq, that is good advice and makes a lot of sense. And quite possibly where some of my problems stem from because what you said is dead on — young immature boys, or older men preparing hotel arrangements.

    All through my life I have been estimated at a higher age, appearing more mature. And my true age would, and has, definitely thrown people off!

  469. bob says:

    Scarlett what I mean is this. A normal man does not look in the mirror and go “I am one hansome son of a bi##h) unless he has a very big ego. Same goes with some ofthe other stuff you put in your wants and needs side. So If I lived near you and saw your profile I would just keep moving on. I guess look at it like this if handsome is the most important thing then great just know how to word it to keep the crazies away. I have read a bunch of guys profiles on the site and they blow my mind but I guess it wroks for them. I was lucky enough to have some people on here help me write my profile until it fit me. While my profile does not rope a lot in. Its does get me where I am trying to go. If you look at mine it starts off very retarded and you have to read down the page before you find anything out. But it stops all the bull shi##ters from emailing.

  470. johnq says:


    After looking at your profile, I suspect your problem is your age. You’re too young. A 22 year old is likely to attract either relatively young SDs, who might not be as sophisticated as what you’re looking for, or to attract those interested solely in sex with a young woman. It’s also possible that, to the extent you’re attracting older SDs, those are people who are interested in a relationship in which they can be in a position of unquestioned dominance, rather than equality, and they may think that a relatively young woman will be less experienced and therefore easier to dominate (thereby leading to the boring, ego-filled “conversations” you’ve had with the alpha male types).

    I hate to advise anyone to lie about her age, having been burned on that more than once, but I suspect you’d attract a better class of suitor if you were, say 28-30. And it’s very unlikely that your appearance would disappoint anyone meeting you for the first time, something that may not be true of men or women who pretend to be younger than they are. At worst, a pot SD would think that you look young for your age (a good thing). I doubt anyone would suspect the truth, since women don’t ordinarily (or maybe ever) pretend to be older than they actually are, at least once they get past 16 or so.

    I’m somewhat ambivalent about this advice, since I’d prefer that everyone tell the absolute truth here. That fantasy being unrealistic, however, I’d be kind of interested in finding out what effect making yourself seem older would have. It seems, from what you’ve said, that things can’t get much worse.


  471. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    Bob, you are not very clear on what you mean?

    In reference to what I am looking for? I never posted anything here about that specifically, — you’re right, my profile and here are two different things. Because here, I am having a conversation.

    Or did you mean the number is not working?

  472. bob says:

    Jai at some point you will have mail

  473. Panther SD says:


    Are you too picky?
    No I don’t think so. You set a standard for what you want and it takes time to find what you are looking for. Every SD has a set of criteria that he is looking for an not every one of them includes “Intelligence” or deep conversations.

    My background is that of a husband starved for sex. If i get once a week from my wife she considers her obligations fullfilled. I typically look for someone who has some intelligence, can hold a meaning conversation and is fun to be around. Due to family and work the time i can afford her in person is very very limited.

    I have had the pleasure of meeting one SB who was experienced and knew what she was doing. She must have worked in the physology field becuase she knew to get in a man’s head. She wanted to know everything about him (things to do, favorite food, blahh blahh) and could cater to his ego. She even took on the role of personal assistant and would remind a man when to do this, important dates in his life, etc..

    Although i was not physically attracted to her and opted not to enter a relationship with her, i could see the right man for her would easly fall for her (in a good way). Add in the power of seduction (what she did with her feet under the restaurant table) almost had me dragging her into the restroom.

    In short no it’s not you. SD’s can be just as fickle sometimes as Sbs.

  474. Jai says:

    Hey bob-o, where’s that email? 😛

  475. bob says:

    scarleett your profile and and what you said on your post are two diffrent things

  476. Jai says:

    bob-o, it’s waiymee at g m a i l

  477. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    Thanks guys.

    To be honest, I have been looking for probably longer than you would imagine. Years. I have a very strong personality, which I think is what does me in most of the time. I get irritated with these men, and bored, very quickly. Maybe I am too picky? Are my standards too high?

    I don’t think so… I am not egotistic or even materialistic, but I expect the man to have a good head of his shoulders and a good understanding of how this works — with a kind heart! (Mostly, so he does not take advantage of me.)

    The hotel thing — I know, right? Completely bizarre, but VERY very common.. appalling, and .. Ugh!

    Sort of like finding any boyfriend, I suppose — very difficult. It seems the men who are intelligent and I get along with personality wise are unable to give to me what I need, and use their ‘charm’ to take advantage of the situation. If you know what I mean.

    Then, the men who are more than worthy — are emotionally distant in every way shape or form. Most boring conversations ive ever had, and I have to bite my tongue so much it bleeds to prevent myself from dominating the conversation, which if carried out, would immediately turn off these dominant SD “Alpha Male” types.

    I’m losing my mind!

    Oh, I have attached my profile # also as I see some folks doing that… so yep, that is me!

    Thanks for the help guys <3

  478. Panther SD says:

    Girlie – I have been attracting the 18-25 crowd for the most part. I’m not quite 40 yet but have plenty of gray hair. Perhaps 40 is the magic number that will make me more appealing to SBs of 27. :)

  479. bob says:

    Jai give me an email and I will send you something I have been thinking about trying

  480. Andrew50 says:

    jsmn: I think you can still make the upscale dining a good experience. Think of it as a test with 3 possible outcomes:

    1. You can try to do everything perfectly and fail, e.g., mispronounce words on the menu, select the wrong fork, and show anxiety about it. This displays that the menu, the restaurant, and the situation are more powerful than you are. It shows that your self esteem depends on how well you perform to an external and arbitrary standard. This is an unattractive quality, for both men and women.

    2. You can try to do everything perfectly and succeed, showing no anxiety. You passed the test, but what prize does that get you? Passing the test is a neutral quality, at least for me because I don’t select women based on how well they speak French or how sophisticated they act in stressful and unfamiliar situations. Perhaps a few men do, but is that really the kind of man you want?

    3. You can demonstrate that you generate your self esteem internally, and it isn’t dependent on an external, arbitrary test. That is, you are more powerful than the test, the menu, and the restaurant and don’t need their approval. This means a williningness to be vulnerable (ask for help and admit what you don’t know) while showing that the fact that you don’t know how to pronounce foreign words is of no importance to you, and that you are still a desirable person. These are attractive qualities.

  481. Jai says:

    Oh, I see bob-o. May I ask what kind of work you do? :) What happened to dinner suggestions?

  482. Jai says:

    RedMaru-Aw I’m sorry that hurt your feelings :( Maybe he’s just been busy?

    JSMN-Go on the date! 😀 That’s the best way

    Scarlett-Email me if you get a chance :) I’d be happy to share my experience with you but I don’t want to write a novel on the blog. waiymee at g m a i l

  483. SuthrnExec says:

    Scarlett, there is a SA site upgrade and revamping complete with new features coming soon. The blog is being addressed in the upgrade as well – not sure when it will be unveiled, but it’s coming.

  484. bob says:

    Jai nothing going on at work

    Scarlet – As a man I do better with meeting in person. I am not worth a darn on the phone. I have no idea what the hotel thing is though

  485. SuthrnExec says:

    Scarlett, all I can tell you is that for most who have found someone with which there is a successful relationship, it has taken time and patience to weed through all those who are in it for the “quick hit” so to speak. There are good SDs out there – it’s just that there are probably more jerks, so you have to go through a lot of jerks to get to the real gentlemen. I know this is not terribly encouraging, but that’s what it takes – patience. It will pay off.

  486. Scarlett says:

    Also… being new to the blog… has anyone else ever made the suggestion for a SA forum? 😛 Or at least add “pages” to the blog comments, so it does not take 5 minutes to load… ack!

  487. Scarlett says:

    Guys, this is what I am talking about.

    I’ve heard of so many situations, or read so many experiences — about these dates, taking their time — 1 or 2 dates to get to know each other, find out about the other person — (Like what Panther was saying)

    But I find that the guys that talk to me do NOT want to get to know me, and even more so do NOT want me to get to know them. Over and over my arrangements, whether we talk first for a while or not, is always “lets meet for drinks.. let me know what day so I can book the hotel”.. WHAT????? Buddy, nononononooo!

    Also, so many guys refuse to talk on the phone first which kind of scares me. They say it’s for their privacy, but when I remind them they can always call me and block their number.. still, they argue.

    What the heck should I do! :( I’m getting frustrated.

  488. jsmn.flavored.308878 says:

    How to get rid of first date jitters……

  489. RedMaru says:

    Jai -Pluck my courage up and sent an email making small talk and touching on something we had in common and he didn’t even read it. Kinda hurt my feelings. Trying to press on wondering is it something I said…lol

  490. Jai says:

    What you up to RedMaru? :)

  491. Jai says:

    girlie-So true :) He already has his little belly though lol

    bob-o, why are you bored? I don’t know what I’m cooking for dinner tonight :) Any suggestions?

  492. RedMaru says:

    Hey Jai!!!

  493. SuthrnExec says:

    JohnQ, I don’t think you will be played, unless you want to. I actually think her approach is totally appropriate and it does show a maturity and sophistication about her. It operates on the assumption that you both are intelligent and that each of you will intuitively maneuver your way through it with success being realized for both of you. Enjoy!

  494. bob says:

    God I am Bored

    Jai what are you cooking tonight

  495. girlie says:

    Jsmn, remember that you are a customer of the restaurant. It is your comfort and enjoyment that matters. Be yourself…..focus on your SD and enjoying him. When I am nervous that perhaps I will stand out like a sore thumb I remind myself that everyone is so wrapped up in their own dinner than the only person noticing me is the SD….and he should be my focus! Have fun…..you sound like a smart girl and you’ll get through this. And yes! A drink helps.

    Jai, men should have a little belly! Makes them manly, in my mind anyways. Kinda like I think women should have a little booty :)

    Panther….those are pretty bad odds. If you looked at the group of ladies your chatted with as a whole, do you see a common thread between them? Age or location?

  496. Jai says:

    Hey RedMaru :)

  497. RedMaru says:

    Goodafternoon sugars how’s everybody.
    I totally agree with Panther SD about the getting to know each other part. This is about having fun with, enjoying and mutual benefiting one another no just one benefitting off the other.
    Hey sweetred thanks for the tip….mind if I borrow it…lol

  498. Jai says:

    jsmn-Be yourself :) The best face you can put forth is yours. Your SD wouldn’t be meeting with you if he wasn’t willing to/wanting to get to know you. So no alcohol induced comfort before your date 😛 Just be you!

  499. jsmn.flavored.308878 says:

    I feel like it’s too late to choose a different restaurant.

    The dress attire and atmosphere make me kinda nervous…the place doesn’t seem very relaxing and comfy…I’ll probably be more focused on not slouching and sitting up straight and pretending that I’m fluent in french and can can easily pronounce the entire menu LoL…

    I would love to have a drink before hand…then I’ll be more relaxed and less inhibited.

  500. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    a good SB seduces her SD; a very good SB maneuvers her SD into seducing her, and thereby maintains a high degree of control). HEYYYYY stop telling my secrets~~~LMAO

    Home for lunch, not much time to comment. But glad everyone had a good time on their sugar dates :)

  501. Jai says:

    E-Thanks! :) And if you’re ever in AZ, stop by lol there’s nothing like a good pedi!

    girlie-Thanks 😀 If I’m not careful he’s going to be fat with really pretty feet.

  502. Panther SD says:

    After reading through many of the posts I realize other Sugar Daddies go through the same thing I do when screenign SBs. Probably 2% of the Sbs I have traded emails with make an effort to get t to know me. If we get to a 4th email I am usually given a phone number to call. If i do infact find her interesting and call I am trypically informed an “emergency” came up and she is need of assistance. At that point I am immediately turned off.

    If I write several long emails and the Sbs standard reply is one sentence or a few words I lose interest. I’m refering to several emails over a period of days, I realize everyone is pressed for time on occasion and can not respond with long drawn out emails.

    This is not representative of the fine Sbs who post on this blog, but it is very rampid (from my point of view). This could simply be their perception of what a SB/SD relationship is.

    Learning from mistakes in the past I now inform everyone I speak with no arrangements are made with out meeting first to see if there is chemisty.

    I think i have only met 2 Sbs who actually took the time to get to know me, my likes and passions. 98% so far have only been interested in how soon i can help them out.

    Sorry for any typos – I tried to bang this out while listening to a phone meeting.

  503. bob says:

    Jai I am sure as smart as you are the Med school thing will be a snap.

    JohnQ Very interesting. If you have the time I would play the game. But I must warn you it is time to brush up on some old James Bond movies so you do not get outplayed by Specktors women. Good hunting.

  504. girlie says:

    Jai, I think you need a SB of the year award. I love your care and feeding of your SD!

    JohnQ……interesting. LOVE it. Good luck with her…..if nothing else, it will be great fun and seems you are already enjoying yourself. As much as she operates on instinct, sounds as if you will be too.

  505. johnq says:

    For those interested in my cryptic comments from last night, this woman is quite sophisticated. She understands what the site’s about, and she’s had several relationships that fall loosely in the SD-SB category. However, she flatly refuses to discuss details of an arrangement, treating the subject as something that sophisticated adults shouldn’t have to talk about explicitly. So her approach is diametrically opposed to the conventional wisdom here.

    This isn’t nervousness on her part, nor naivete. And I get the impression that if I were to hand her a check she’d be offended. But she’s definitely looking for something, since the one thing she said was that she was interested in finding an SD.

    Done right, and with the right SD (preferably one with significant resources), this approach could well result in a far better outcome (for her) than would be possible in a more structured relationship.

    I can’t tell what her endgame is, and it’s quite possible she doesn’t have one, but simply operates moment to moment on instinct.

    So the game here is at least somewhat more interesting than I would have expected from a contact initiated through this site. Instead of a more or less defined transaction, this is looking much more like an old-fashioned beautiful younger woman meets wealthy older man situation, in which each party’s goals are understood, at least in a general sense, but the negotiation occurs implicitly, and moves have to be considered very carefully, since proceeding too boldly or not boldly enough may give offense.

    SuthrnExec: I don’t mind being played, as long as it’s done well. Done well, the thing is indistinguishable from a very romantic relationship.

    As high-stakes poker players say, if you look around the table and can’t figure out who the sucker is, then you’re it. I have my eyes open here and will let this proceed for a while just to see where it goes and possibly learn something about seduction (a good SB seduces her SD; a very good SB maneuvers her SD into seducing her, and thereby maintains a high degree of control).

  506. E says:

    Jai-Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) I am taking a gap year before going to grad school.

    p.s. I could use a pedicure as well……..I’m a girl and I’ve never a proper one.

  507. Jai says:

    Morning bob and Panther :)

  508. Panther SD says:

    Good morning all. Hope everyone had a good weekend.

  509. bob says:

    good morning all. Hope everyone is having a good monday

  510. Jai says:

    Morning everyone! :)

    GG-Girl! You know I’m excited for you 😀 When it rains, it pours just makes sure you’ve got an umbrella. Next up: Beach! I can’t wait until she finds someone wonderful..or they find her :)

    Andy50-If you’re ever in Tucson, I got you covered 😉 Everyone deserves a nice pedi now and again. My SD was against it at first, but he enjoys it now. If only I could convince him to let me do a full body massage lol that is my next obstacle to overcome.

    I just sent out my completed workshop info to the med school advisors. This is only the beginning stages and I’m nervous lol How is everyone else this fiiiiine morning? :)

  511. Andrew50 says:

    Girlie: Glad to hear you like the 50 year olds!

    Jsmn: I’m with you on the upscale dining. I think it takes the focus off the two people and puts on the focus on the venue and anxiety surrounding the venue. Upscale dining is better left for special occasions when we already know each other. When I don’t know how to pronounce something on the menu, I intentionally pronounce it as badly as possible and try to make a joke about it.

    For a first meeting, I like to pick a casual chain restaurant (e.g., Chilis, Chi Chis, TGI Fridays, Ruby Tuesday) with which most people are familiar that has good access to transportation, ample parking, and that is conveniently located for the SB. I think this ease of access, familiar surroundings, and casual atmosphere is comforting and reduces the anxiety about how to get there, what to wear, and which fork to use.

  512. E says:

    SuthrnExec- thanks for your response.
    I mean in his defense (or SD’s in general) he doesn’t know me yet either, I might be completely insane!!!!!!! But what worries me like I mentioned is that I am not nervous at all except maybe that my I don’t get airplane hair and my chanel perfume won’t replaced with smelly recyled air. But we are meeting up in a few weeks, but I will ask him for the hotel confirmation number and make sure that my friends know exactly where I am at all times.

  513. SuthrnExec says:

    E, my suggestion to a potSB would be that the entire meeting take place in a public place – and that would be my initial suggestion to make sure she is totally comfortable with everything. If a SB or SD either one is nervous about the meeting situation, it would be difficult to be her/himself, thus making it a less than beneficial first meeting. My objective would always be that the potSB be totally comfortable with everything about the first meeting – and I tend to go to the extreme to make sure she is comfortable with aspect of the meeting.

    If he has booked you a room (ask for conf number, etc.), that’s good – at least he is conscious of your need to feel comfortable and safe. Stay in touch with friends – have them call while you are with him or you call while you’re with him to check in so that he knows people are expecting to hear from you.

  514. jsmn.flavored.308878 says:

    ;D Thanx girlie.
    That makes me feel a whole lot better. I really don’t wanna embarrass myself in front of him tho.

    I hope he’ll like me 😀 we didn’t talk me much online – he told me his preferences/expectations, he picked a day and place and now it’s set.

    The cute and young 35 year – we had a nice chat and he was cool. Usually I only take 50ish year old men seriously but it seems that I’m more nervous about meeting them – this is my first meeting as a result of S.A…kind of a big deal LoL.

  515. E says:

    Good Points Girlie, well done!!!

    Curious Jane-Welcome to the blog, you’ve come to the right place. If it were me (and I’m younger so I might take my advice with a grain of salt because I won’t pretend like I know alot about divorces and family life) but I think it’s best to keep the arrangement to yourself for a while as best you can. I know you don’t want to lie to the people around you……….. but maybe keeping silent and if anyone asks just say that you are working part time as a personal assistant for a wealthy man you put your CV online and he offered you a very lucrative position. Discretion is a key component for most of us here and maybe mentioning he is your boyfriend might not make him feel comfortable in the early stages, but if he doesn’t mind that could be another option for you, but I’d stick to personal assistant.

  516. girlie says:

    jsmn, there are lots of very cool and fun 50 yr olds :) They are often complete gentleman, very laid back, and full of knowledge and wisdom. God, I love men around the 50 mark.
    Don’t worry so much about the menu…. you won’t be the first person dining in this restaurant who can’t pronounce the name of the dish. Simply reference the main ingredients and say “I’ll have the lamb”…..and hey, this will be a fun opportunity to try something new!!

  517. curiousjane says:

    Hello all,

    I guess you wouldn’t call me a sugarbabe… as i am 46. I have just recently divorced – and sit down, i have never had a “career”, I have taken jobs off and on for various reasons. I have met a SD once and the 2nd meeting is in a couple of days. He will be taking care of everything.. should we both decide this is mutually beneficial, My family ie. mom, siblings and young adult children & friends… would most likely flip. What are some good ideas to tell people how you are “making a living”? Is it as simple as, i have a boyfriend who has the means and is able to provide these things for me and wants to. ( this will be immediately after the divorce)… How did you meet this guy etc…

    thanks in advance.

  518. jsmn.flavored.308878 says:

    I would appreciate everyone’s 2 cents…

  519. E says:

    thanks good girl!! and yes he is picking me up at the airport :)
    i’ll make a suggestion that i really could use a coffee or something and make sure i call my friends.

  520. goodgirl*313749 says:

    just stepped for a sec befor ei turn off my computer to leave for work.
    E~ if he’s picking you up at the airport… there’s your public place. before you leave the airport, stop in one of the restaurants for a sandwich or something. make sure that your comfortable, and safe before you leave ‘public’.
    my 2 cents :)

  521. jsmn.flavored.308878 says:

    Public place it is – although drinks do sound nice lol.
    That idea came about when we were chatting…he asked if I liked mojitos, I told him that I tried to make one but did so unsuccessfully, he offered to teach me and of course have drinks in the process and he can cook so he’d make me lunch/dinner…

    What a drag….coffee is like the next most casual setting…I am not a very big coffee person.

    I want to book this date and the first date on the same day…I’m just afraid the first one might last longer than expected. I’m nervous about the first one really – the guy is 50ish and wants ONE sb who also wants ONE sd which is fair – I just think he might not be as laid back and cool as 35 year old date#2…we’re having lunch at this fancy/upscale restaurant where I don’t think I’ll feel very comfortable – just the atmosphere and uptight-ness of the place. I can’t even pronounce a lot of the menu and nothing sounded good or appealing to me lol…not sure what to do.

  522. E says:

    SuthrnExec, I have a question for you regarding your post about meeting at a potential’s place. My potential SD and I have been speaking for three weeks almost daily and he travels a lot and decided that he would have me fly out to his weekend home, and told me he’d make sure to book a hotel in case I did not like him. I know he has told me he has been an SB three times (2 of the girls he did not meet on the site) and I do like him and am not nervous, which is the part that worries me. I guess I’ve never been afraid of strangers, but two of my friends know where I’ll be and we have arranged a time to call each other. He booked the ticket this morning for me, and I wanted to know if anyone had any other advice on how to stay safe.

  523. E says:

    GoodGirl, sounds like you had a great date!!! I love finding a good excuse to dress up and once I get an SD, hopefully i’ll have a lot of them!!! :) Morning, to the other fellow bloggers!!!!!!! I am excited I got a new message today from a bloke and he seems quite nice, but I am going to give my potential SD my undivided attention till we decide we are a match or not. He texts me everyday and we have emailed back and forth a lot, plus we chat on the phone. I guess with my other two prior SDs this one is way nicer, way cuter, and I do hope he is the one for me, I would love a fun summer “fauxmance” :)

  524. SuthrnExec says:

    jsmn, I would have to caution you against meeting at a pot’s place for a first meeting. I am harmless but I also realize that no one else knows that unless they have met me and gotten to know me; therefore, I would never consider asking a potSB to my place for drinks for a first meeting. Either he has never done this before and is careless or perhaps your comfort is not his first priority. All the more reason to give pause and ask to meet at some public place.

  525. goodgirl*313749 says:

    i’m off to work. have a great day everyone!

  526. SuthrnExec says:

    I’m well. On the road, but surviving.

    JohnQ, it would be interesting to hear your potSB’s take on this – we may be able to confirm whether you’re being played or not.

  527. goodgirl*313749 says:

    do not go to someones house that you’ve never met!!!! do you want to be on the news?!?

  528. goodgirl*313749 says:

    jsmn- that would make me nervous too. meet in public, and have an escape. follow your instincts and be careful.

  529. jsmn.flavored.308878 says:

    I’m thinking about booking dates the same day – just to get them over with.
    The first date will be lunch at this fancy restaurant, the second date will be drinks at his place…

  530. goodgirl*313749 says:

    it was very nice girlie!
    out of town pot is emailing me a ton this morning! he wants more pictures of me (didn’t specify what kind.) thank goodness. he keeps sending me pics of him… standing in front of his house, in the bathroom this morning- fully clothed– i don’t have anymore of me yet. tried to take a quick snapshot with my built in web cam, but i can’t figure out how to get the picture off of it. and i am SOOO NOT gonna web chat yet. this is a new computer. i guess i’ll have to read the manuel. ugh!

  531. jsmn.flavored.308878 says:

    I have two big dates…tomorrow and Wednesday.
    Kinda nervous/excited 😉

    It’s weird to me that both the guys profiles have been blocked by other members – that really makes me wonder.

  532. girlie says:

    Sounds like the perfect date, Goodgirl!! You had me at Creme Brulee 😉

    JohnQ….I was only half serious but thank you for the kind words. I’m also curious about her opinion and how she views this. I have a slightly off kilter view too…so now I’m double curious.

    Hi Suthrn, Lisa, Sweetredhead!

  533. goodgirl*313749 says:

    thank you suthrn :) how are you today?

  534. SuthrnExec says:

    Goodgirl, congrats! That’s great news. I’m glad everything went so well for you!

  535. goodgirl*313749 says:

    maybe i should skip work today and become a writer! lol
    oh yeah! when it raines it pours! after i got home there were a few messages from an out of town pot. he sent me like a ton of pics (he’s pretty good lookin) i’ll let you know what happens with that.
    (and i’ll try to condense it!)lol

  536. goodgirl*313749 says:

    sorry about the novel. i didn’t relize i was going on like that! :)

  537. goodgirl*313749 says:

    oh, sweet sugary morning everyone!
    beachgirl and jai~ YOU ARE BOTH SO SWEET! here’s my story. it jumps around a little, cuz i still haven’t had my coffee… try to stay with me :)
    my date was wonderful! it took me forever to figure out what i was going to wear… finally picked a dress that i was ok with, but called my mom to vent about it! she babysat for me last night. my date wasn’t until 6, but my parents were going to my brothers house, so they had me drop off my daughter at 2. while i was there, my mom loaned me the cutest dress! it was just above the knee, all black, with flirty ruffles around the skirt, the tummy was ruched(sp?), and it had a v-neck w/ spaggettti straps. i wore my super cute black and white heels (my favorite pair), and finally got a chance to carry my new hot pink and zebra handbag :) VERY FLIRTY! i felt GREAT! so then it was 3 o’clock, and i had time to kill, so i went on down to the restaurant and made sure we had reservations. then i went window shopping for awhile. i even put on a small fashion show for a salesgirl named natalie at the white house, black market!! lol
    anyway, back to the date.. sorry. i warned ya! *breaks to get coffee*
    at about 5:50 he texted to let me know he was getting close. i texted back that i would be the blonde at the bar 😉 (this was funny because we’ve already seen each other a few times) anyhoo- we got a very nice table in the back and i got to try sushi for the first time!! (my suggestion for dinner, not his) we had cali rolls, some other sort of crab roll, and i even tried octopus!! he said he couldn’t belive i was going to try that, but apparently he’s not a sushi guy. lol. he just went for me. isn’t that sweet! he ordered chicken! btw- octopus is just like i thought it would be. rubbery… also, it turns out that i like hot sake. lol.
    he was amazing! a wonderful story teller. and finally, a real gentelman~ which i really needed. after dinner we shared some creme brule (my fav next to tirimisu) and had som ekona coffee and cream. then he took me back to my car in the parking garage and gave me a very nice kiss! thats it. no pressure for more. just nice, pleasant end!
    sooooo sugary sweet.

  538. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. Making coffee and getting ready to go to work. Have a good day everyone.

  539. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Good morning sugars!! Woke up to thunder and lightning this morning yiks!!

    Welcome Scarlett to the blog. So great to see new people joining in :)

    johnq what was so different about her views?? come on now don’t just leave us hanging here.

    Hopefully I will bbl. I could not fall asleep last night, it was after 2am the last time I seen the clock and up at 6am. Not sure how tired I will be later.

    Hope everyone has a wonderful sugar filled day!

  540. johnq says:

    Back now from a date with a pot SB. If I didn’t understand previously that everyone on this site is different I certainly do now. I like her, and will go out again with her, but her perspective on this thing is very different than the mainstream here. It’s possible I’m being played, but if so she’s pretty good at it and I’m willing to hang in there just for the sheer aesthetics of watching a master at work. At least for a while. But not forever.

    Girlie: I don’t think I’m your SD. Actually, I’m fairly certain of that. My date on Friday wasn’t at all successful, and I’m pretty sure I would have remembered if she’d turned down shoes. Or, for that matter, if I’d offered shoes.

    Nevertheless, in my opinion you’re on the right track, and I hope it works out for you. It will if your SD is a decent guy. I guarantee it would if I were your SD.


  541. Andrew50 says:

    Hi, Jai. I’ve never had a pedicure, but you’re posts about them give me the odd feeling of wanting one. I just sit quietly and wait for the feeling to pass. :)

    Hi, Scarlett. Welcome to the blog. My sense is that lots of people have difficulty finding a good match. I think that most of the people who post in the blog are normal, sane, and serious about finding a good partner for them. So, the blog is a good respite from the craziness that we too frequently encounter during our search.

  542. Jai says:

    Welcome Scarlett :)

  543. Jai says:

    Yea gg! :) Let us know as soon as you get up!

    I was supposed to be sleep, but I had a pedicure to do lol

  544. Scarlett says:

    Hi guys :) I am new to the blog, and wanted to introduce myself.

    I am not new to the site, however I have been having difficulty finding my perfect match and hoping I can pick up on some advice from you folks here. :) I seem to attract a lot of either dead ends, or guys expecting me to go wayyy out on a limb for them essentially at risk of my safety, or just plain mocking my own intelligence.

    Anyway, I thought i’d start off by answering the questions… :)

    Other than the sugar family, who do you talk openly with about your experiences with SD’s and SB’s?–My sister knows I am looking in to this, and is supportive of me finding an ambitious and successful mentor to provide me the life lessons I am lacking and need to better myself.

    How discreet are you willing to be for a sugar? Would you be willing to be introduced as their boy/girlfriend?– With no other romantic ties for myself, I am looking for one SD, ONE — so if the situation called for it, I would be find going along with anything he felt comfortable (except MISTRESS, as I saw mentioned earlier! ack!) also advice I read above as well in regards to what to wear on a date — business/casual being a great one, in-case he needs to introduce me as a colleague.

    Is there more excitement and/or giving in discreet arrangements? — I’ll let you know. :)

    Are discreet profile photo’s (with eye’s and/or face hidden) more alluring? — I prefer to see the whole face, at LEAST have it blurred only a little. You can tell a lot about how someone looks after themselves (and will treat you) by how well they care for their appearance. Put a bum in a suit, he’s still a bum! Need to see your face, boys! :)

  545. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    GG~ your gone to bed :( i wanted to know!
    well I hope it went well for you, have a good night
    let me know tomorrow!

  546. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    GG i’m here!!!! now i want to know how it went!!! i’m very curious you know!

  547. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    GG~ how did it go??? just here for a minute!

  548. goodgirl*313749 says:

    *sigh* …guess i’ll have to just dream about it :) good night sugarland sleepyheads!

  549. goodgirl*313749 says:

    hello :) did i miss everything tonight??? i just got home from my sugar date :)

  550. girlie says:

    Lovely, sweetredhead. Daddies, in whatever form, are important 😉

  551. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I had a wonderful grandfather also so the men in my life have a lot to live up too :)

  552. girlie says:

    Sweetredhead, that made me smile so big. There is not enough great dads in the world…..

  553. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Good night all. Hope everyone has a wonderful day tomorrow.

    It is hard for me to refer to a sugar daddy as daddy. Because I had the best father in the world and he and he alone is my daddy :) and always will be. I like to say my Sd is my special friend :)

  554. Natasha says:

    Im heading the sack now…night every1

  555. Jai says:

    Guess I’ll turn in too :) Night sugar fam

    What happened to bob? lol

  556. katrina says:

    Sweet Dreams, All

  557. Jai says:

    Exactly Katrina, what’s the point? :)

  558. Natasha says:

    goodnite katrina

  559. girlie says:

    DiscreetDaddy: Its those with true “Daddy” tendencies that are the best…..

  560. katrina says:

    I definitely think DiscreetDaddy and JohnQ have the right mindset. I hope that I can meet someone like that. If not, then maybe a friend, but I definitely won’t compromise when it comes to cchemistry. I mean, what would be the point?

  561. Jai says:

    Night Katrina and soon to be sweetred :) You’ve got mail as well red

  562. Natasha says:

    omg…wat is up with my spelling…i need rest…sd really drained my energy this weekend lmao

  563. Jai says:

    Hoe? lol If you don’t want me to call you Tasha, just say so lol

  564. katrina says:

    Good night, Everyone. I have yoga at 6 tomorrow so need to log off.

  565. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    good night lisa. I will be heading that way soon also. I have to be up for work in the Am also. And I am not complaining. I am grateful to have a job and one that I enjoy.

  566. DiscreetDaddy says:

    johnq makes some really good points in his post and I agree with most of them. As SR says each of us has our own different set of needs, wants etc.
    There are so many reasons why men are filling a void or seeking a fantasy. I personally will not just settle for someone in it for money and sex without some intimacy.

    I love to have the initimacy. Treating a girl with respect, showing her I care and helping with my experience and life advice is what I’m here for.
    It’s nice to think of her as my lover and friend vs calling her my SB.
    It is an amazing feeling knowing that YOU the SD can change
    a girls world for the better by being in her life.

    Yea, it’s the “Daddy” in me :)

    Finding that right match can be difficult but SO rewarding.

  567. Natasha says:

    night lisa…sweet dreams

  568. Natasha says:

    fine with me…i have no problems when it comes to name getting shorten. hoe r u?

  569. Jai says:

    Hey Lisa! Night Lisa! :)

  570. lisa says:

    Ac is working great! Now we have a cold front and the temps will be in the 50’s in the morning and low humidity.

    Good night everyone

  571. Jai says:

    Lol hey tasha! Is it ok if I call you Tasha? 😛 I’m always trying to shorten someone’s name 😀

  572. lisa says:

    Hey Jai!
    I’m going to got to bed soon. Gonna hop in the sack, lol Gotta get up early for work tomorrow and then when I get home I gotta take my comforter over to the new washateria across the street. Love the place, bars on the windows, cameras everywhere, laundry attendent behind bullet proof glass. :)

    Have a good night everyone.

  573. Natasha says:

    theres still love for u here lisa

  574. Jai says:

    You have mail again red 😛

  575. katrina says:

    Lisa – good luck with your room ‘makeover.’ I hope that you get everything you want. And working A/C!!!

  576. Natasha says:

    Opps I meant HEY JAI!!! lol..thats how sleepy I am

  577. lisa says:

    Hey Natasha! :)

  578. katrina says:

    Sweetredhead – I guess you really are sweet to invite SD’s to the blog. What a thoughtful idea

  579. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Welcome back Jai :) you have email back lol

  580. Natasha says:

    Hey Lisa!!!

  581. lisa says:

    I was on this blog alone way back when it started. A lonely place with only me posting. It seemed to pick up speed around August though.

  582. lisa says:

    I have been under complete comuter control since first having acess to a computer at home, 4 years ago and now I’m in front of this thing all my free time. I got home from work today at 4:30 and have been on all along, taking a break for housecleaning and bathing. I used to spent my time on a what the mailman brought me blog. We talked about what we got in the mail, ordered tons of freebies, etc. To this day I can tell the difference between the souond of the UPS truck, Fedex, and the mail truck. lol

    I find many times the opportunity is gone if you don’t grab it while it’s there. I have new goals to for things I want. I want to get a whole new bed ensemble as mine is 3 years old. I found a really nice one online and also I want a small flat tv, nothing fancy, just one of those 200 dollar ones as my tv is almost 4 years old and i only paid 70 dollars for it so it might go out in the near future. I want to make my bedroom sexy and comfy. It’s already nice but i’ve stared at the same room for almost 4 years and I need a change

  583. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I messaged many New SD’s to come join us on the blog :) Some are here now. I think it’s a great place for everyone to start. I found the blog my first few days on the site and it has helped me a great deal.

  584. Jai says:

    You’ve got mail sweetred :)

  585. girlie says:

    IT should be mandatory reading before you can sign up and send/ receive mail :)
    Wasn’t someone suggesting to men who emailed that they should check it out?

  586. Jai says:

    Hey again everybody! 😛

  587. katrina says:

    I am already addicted to the blog – it really has something for everyone. :) It is pragmatic and potentially romantic. I was reading some of the older blogs, too. There are a ot of perspectives on the whole SD/SB scenario…

  588. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    [email protected] Told you SOME of us were normal lmao. I do not have an addiction!! Id it normal to get the shakes when you are away from the blog for too long???

  589. girlie says:

    Lisa, I will disagree. I certainly love shoes and am building a great collection but right now building stability with my SD means more to me than that. There is plenty of time to collect ‘stuff’…..and when the time is right, I will get those stunning shoes and be thrilled to wear them. If this situation turns out to be temporary, well……I’ll buy ’em myself.

  590. Natasha says:

    well he was just looking for fun and meet like once a week when we first met. he has had sugars in the past its not like he is new at this. on our third date he kinda said he wants to do normal dating. hes been just taking me out for now he pays even for the smallest lil things. i dont dare ask him for money or shopping since he stated the normal dating part. and now he wants to hang out with me almost everyday to the point that he is dropping n e sort of plans with his friends and instead hangs out with me.

  591. katrina says:

    Sweetredhead – That is funny, since the title of my profile is ‘Photo Available on Request!’

    Lisa – think any financial gain will be a boost. Mostly I am tired of dating and feeling guilty that my date cannot afford to pay for dinner or his house is in foreclosure. Sure, the economy is bad – we all know that, but I still have my house, even after getting laid off and having to find a new job. I am pretty resourceful and independent. I really am looking for a gentleman and when I think of an SD/SB relationship, I envision kind of what would traditionally be a European arrangement where a mistress is respected and has the freedom to enjoy her man.

  592. lisa says:

    you may find yourself addicted to the blog, it will control you, lol

  593. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    katrina if you have the time I would read through some old posts, you will find some great advice there :)

  594. lisa says:

    Katrina everything is unpredictable on this site. I have been searching for a year and its’ kinda a hobby now. I have met four sds at the times I was least expecting. It CAN happen. back on April 25 I had talked to one potential that wasn’t a sd, I became discouraged. The same day I got an email from another. 5 days later we meet and he gives me half a months allowance. He emails me later and wants to give me the rest when we have our next date. So in 8 days, I’m contacted, chat, talk on phone, meet for lunch, meet for dinner and I’ve got a nice financial boost, all this after a dry spell of eight months. You never know what waits around the corner

  595. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    katrina I would out it in your profile that you have picture available but that you do not post them for the reason you stated.

  596. katrina says:

    nonyabusiness haha I love it! That is a great idea to set up an email account for the express purpose of SA! Tomorrow I will have my friend snap a couple of pics; let’s all hope for a Good Hair Day…

  597. lisa says:

    bob percy is committed to me. He is allowed to cheat on me with my yellow shoes (he loves yellow) and hotdog buns.

    girlie I never turn down the opportunity to get something new. I have learned that you dont’ get any furthur by refusing stuff. Everything is temporary and gotta collect whatever momentos you can.

  598. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    katrina you can set up a yahoo email and put your last name in as anything at all. I use nonyabusiness lol. you can also put you location as something different.

  599. katrina says:

    Thank you for all of the warm welcomes : )

  600. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    As we all have said nothing is cut in dry in these relationships. Everyone is looking for something different. If it is what you want then it’s the right way to go for you. Just because it’s not the norm doesn’t make it wrong. Sometimes those are the best relationships :)

  601. katrina says:

    I am finding a couple of challenges. I don’t want to post a photo – I am seeking discretion. Most of the SD’s on here want a photo, but they give me their non-SA email address so I can send it there from my home e-mail address. However, can’t a potential weirdo track me by my email address? Safety and discretion are my priority. Any advice?

    This is not so pressing yet, as I do not even have any recent photos – I am usually the photographer for my friends and family. I might have to change that a little….

  602. girlie says:

    Oh and WELCOME Katrina. Pretty name.

  603. bob says:

    I have been moderated….will try this again

    sweetredhead hope al is well.

    Lisa can I come and get Percy. I found some really hot action for him on Iwantadirtybird site.

    yes yes tits and boobs

  604. girlie says:

    Hello, hello :)

    Natasha: Have you asked him exactly what he is looking for? Sometimes that simple question clears everything up. I must admit that I have a great friendship from a gentleman from this site (well, a couple really). Not a SD but someone to go out with and have a fun evening with, enjoy events. I know you are looking for a SD, so of course, I wouldn’t stop that search, but don’t discount these sort of situations either. Perhaps he is just meant to be a friend?

    JohnQ, you said this earlier: “By turning down gifts, an SB will establish that she’s not just in this for the money. The SD will remember this. And it’s quite likely that you’ll end up ahead of the game, since it’s more fun to be generous with someone who doesn’t expect it than with someone who does”

    Are you my SD? I’m actually getting nervous….haha. I turned down an offer to buy me an expensive pair of shoes earlier this afternoon because I am afraid of crossing a line too early on in our situation.

  605. lisa says:

    Just makes sure he spoils you and isn’t just using a serious relationship to avoid the sd expectations. Men have a way of losing appreciation for women when they’ve dating them for a while. You need to keep it exciting, dont’ get too comfortable to the point that you let him see you without makeup, you don’t want to become unappreciated, gotta keep a man interested at all times to keep a serious relationship

  606. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Then that’s a good thing :) you got everything you want all rolled into one. Take it slow and let it happen naturally :) I hope he is everything you are looking for.

  607. Natasha says:

    well i was in search of real love also. but i was not expecting a potential sd to become a real love…lol… i guess i am in luck the money and love all combined together. i cant complain…lol

  608. lisa says:

    Welcome Katrina

  609. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    welcome katrina. We are just normal people, well most of us lmao

    Natasha if it’s something you are happy with enjoy it :)

  610. lisa says:

    Are you looking for a sd or a relationship? If your’e looking for a sd, it doesn’t sound like this is the guy, he wants to take things slow and build on it, that’s going towards a relationship

  611. katrina says:

    Hi, Everyone –

    I am a new SB on the site. I have to say that I love the comraderie on the Blogs. I naively thought that it would be cut-throat. Such a nice surprise!

  612. Natasha says:

    Hello my Sugar Fam!!!!how r all of u 2nite??? I went on my date on friday and SD turns out is hoping to have a commited relationship in the future. He even told me he doesnt mind meeting my son and my mother. I am a bit confused. I really didnt see something like this coming from this sort of website. I don’t even know wat to do. I went to his house after dinner and clubbing and he didnt even try sleeping with me and didnt even kiss me. he gave me just a tap kiss when he walked me to my car. and he told me he wants to takes things slow and wants things to be perfect. What will you girls do in a situation like this???

  613. lisa says:


  614. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I think we lost bob lol. Maybe we should talk about, race cars and power tools lol

  615. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    hehe now you know more about me then you wanted to know lmao

  616. lisa says:

    I have needed glasses since I was in junior high but my parents couldn’t afford them so I went many years (actually till 1998 when I was 32 to finally get them. I couldn’t believe how clear the world was after going around in the blur from about 20 years. My daughter has needed glassed for about 8 years and her sight is getting worse, they have to up her presription every time she goes.

  617. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I am over weight but I have the blood pressure of an athlete, which surprises my doctor lol. I am healthy :) No glasses needed, my cholesterol is low. my blood work is right on. I know this because i just had a physical.

  618. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I am lucky I do not need glasses or contacts yet lol.

  619. lisa says:

    wait a minute sweetredhead, I need to get my bifocals to read your comment. Actually I might have to get bifocal contacts next year. I have stocked up on my contacts (with part of my allowance) to add to the 6 month supply I got when I got my tax refund I’m trying to avoid haivng to get those ones that will cost more.

  620. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    haha lisa, I am NOT that old!!! sheeeh

  621. lisa says:

    sit down sweetredhead, set your walker to the side and I will go get your lap towel.

    Good evening bob my day is good now that i’m home from work

  622. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    good evening Bob :)

  623. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    2hours in the pool treading water and playing volleyball, my body hurts. I am feeling very old at the moment lol

  624. bob says:

    good evening everyone. hope everyone had a great day.

  625. lisa says:

    The other day I couldnt reach my parents all day and was worried about them. Met my daughter in the late afternoon and then didnt’ here from her when she got home. called and kept getting voicemail. Turns out the phone needed charging and my parents arent’ very knowledgable of cell phones.

  626. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I keep trying to call my daughter, Keep leaving her messages. I am getting worried she never not calls me for this long. But she has this new boyfriend and from what I hear from my sister no one has seen her much.

  627. lisa says:

    I’m still here. On the phone with my daughter

  628. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Did everyone go to sleep?

  629. lisa says:

    boring chicken and rice soup here. It’s all I have in my cabinet as I completely forgot to pick up some food at the store before I left work. I was too much in a hurry to catch my bus. I will get some stuff tomorrow. I ran out of slim jims

  630. Jai*277171* says:

    No, left over gumbo for us :) I forget you’re 3 hours ahead lol

  631. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Boring left over meatloaf, I made some brown rice that I doctored up with some veggies and onions and made some corn. we ate hours ago lol. it’s almost 9:30 here.

    What did are you making, something alot better than me I am sure lol

  632. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I get teased by my friends and co workers about how focused I can get while I am working. the other day I was looking over some patient files and the 2 girls where talking about me (good things) I sat back for a minute and caught something they said. I turned and said are u 2 talking about me again they started laughing they said yeah for about 5 minutes now lmao. Then she tells me she was asking me earlier what I was doing at lunch and I completely ignored her. She is the office manager and she loves the way I get my work done and am so focused but it’s funny the way I can block everyone out. I said I am used to it, I have 2 boys lol

  633. Jai*277171* says:

    Lisa tell Percy happy birthday for me :)

    Sweetred, what’s for dinner?

  634. lisa says:

    I have a great memory and remember the smallest events.

  635. Jai*277171* says:

    :) I think it’s plain weird Lisa, but here we are lol

    I love mail too sweetred! lol

  636. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    lol Lisa that is too funny you keep track of that.

  637. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I think things happen when we are not looking for it. That’s why I like to let things just happen naturally :)

  638. lisa says:

    Also yesterday was my one year anniversary for seeking a sugardaddy, and the 20th will be the year anniversary since my first sugardate

  639. lisa says:

    I’m off on saturday so I’m having my family over for lunch and snacks and we are going to sing happy birthday to Percy. He will be with me a year on the 25th. My daughter hates him (she’s actually jealous of him) so I will get a cake and put a candle on it and make her sing happy birthday Percy. lol

  640. lisa says:

    That’s neat Jai, kinda ironic :)

  641. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    oh mail, I love mail!!

  642. Jai*277171* says:

    You’ve got mail lisa and sweetred

  643. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    When we won I swam over and gave him a big victory hug, silly me jumping up and down oops!! swim suits do not cover THAT kind of reaction hehe I pretended I did not notice lol

  644. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Ughh I am water logged! I am more wrinkles then I did when I went in lmao. We play water volleyball me against the 2 boys and I was on the deep end! My neighbor heard us and came over to help on my side. He and I won!! score 1 for the old people lmao. We won both games.

  645. Jai*277171* says:

    Lisa and sweetred-Sending that email shortly :)

  646. lisa says:

    yikes, I just found a huge bruise on the back of my thigh, yuck

  647. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    My boys want to me to play with them in the pool for while. So I will bbl

    Good night E. have a wonderful evening. The third time they say is always the charm :) I wish you luck!!

  648. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I am happy to help :) Your making a great start. Wanting to learn and always willing to learn and benefit from others experience is a great thing. I try and tell my 19yr old daughter things and she blows me off sigh. But she has always been a child who had to learn thing the hard way and on her own. But the one good thing is she DOES learn from her mistakes :)

  649. E says:

    well it’s summer time for me………school is out but i need to get up and look for a summer job so i need to check my emails, call my mother which will tire me out and hit the hay. I do meet my potential SD in a few weeks and am very excited. He is a looker and a very nice guy so hopefully third time will be a charm :)

    night ladies and gents


  650. E says:

    thanks sweetred for the advice: couldn’t have asked for better ideas :)
    don’t worry i wasn’t asking the question to pry into personal non sugar life but just wanting to know people’s experiences and know that they were telling them to someone they could trust and someone that wants to learn :)


  651. lisa says:

    Jai i’d love to hear about it too, kittykatcalvin at the Y place

    Finished cleaning, sitting down to relax finally. Trying to think of what to write to my sd, after that pool report, i’m a little clueless, lol

  652. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Sure Jai, shoot me an email, would love to hear about it :)

  653. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I can only say from my own experience being married 20 yrs. We started out as friends and still are friends. Sex was amazing, never an issue. We got along well. The reason I am separated is due to the gulf war. Long story and from what I am finding out a very common one. I rather not get into here.

    Like I said before I have been there done that (marriage, kids) Now I am looking for fun and an uncomplicated relationship.

    SO I would think being a younger SB and hearing the stories from married SD’s and why they wonder or look for a SB, you can learn from that and know what not to do in your marriage when that comes along.

    My aunt gave me some great advice when I was a young girl. Never take your marriage for grated. Always look your best for him. Always treat him well. Do not get comfortable, marriage is always something you need to work at and keep the spark alive in and out of the bedroom.

  654. Jai*277171* says:

    Our arrangement is, for lack of me wanting to use a better term, simply complex 😛

    Hard to explain, but I believe, easily understood. I’ll shoot you an email if that’s ok? :)

  655. E says:

    E says-I did get a sneak peek into the mind of the husband that had I not been an SD i wouldn’t have gotten

    *correction had i not been an SB!!!! not SD

  656. E says:

    I have a question for some of the married or divorced SB’s and SD’s:

    Obviously I am 21, but want to have a husband and kids someday. Seeking Arrangement has helped me because both men I’ve been in arrangements with were married and we had conversations about their spouses, their homelife, what the wife wasn’t doing, what they thought they weren’t doing, and I did get a sneak peek into the mind of the husband that had I not been an SD i wouldn’t have gotten. Is this true for you as well? Maybe not SD’s that are married but SB’s and SD’s who are divorced? Are you able to pause and say, “Oh THAT’S what my ex might have meant by he wanted more intmacy, or THAT’S what i should have done with my wife: spoiled her a bit more.” I mean I know that there is more to it and I won’t ask anyone to divluge specifics, but my main question is: is the SD/SB experience been a window to see what the other party was thinking in your marriage and will this experience help you the next time that the M word is on the table?

  657. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    jai what exactly is your arrangement? if you don’t mind me asking. I love to hear all the differant ways people connect.

  658. Jai*277171* says:

    That’s so true sweetred :)

  659. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    That is great for them. But I would think It’s not the norm. To me it’s a NSA mutual relationship. BUT I do See and talk to men who are actually looking for more IF it happens. That’s what I love about this It is very diversified :)

  660. Jai*277171* says:

    Here’s hoping E :)

  661. E says:

    I guess i’m a veteran of the site, 1 year member!!!!………………i’m sure i’ll get the seeking arrangment purple heart award soon enough, but I won’t be doing this forever…………..imagine someday there will a new wave of bloggers and sd’s who will take over for us Jai while we just think back about our little secrets right :)

  662. Jai*277171* says:

    E-By the way, love your posts. So concise and informative :)

  663. E says:

    i will say in confidence that i know for a fact a couple met here and married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! obviously i’ll keep the details private as they are not mine to share, but I do know he had VERY specific needs and the SB he met gladly fullfilled them and their chemistry was so in sync that they made it permanent!!!!!!!!

  664. Jai*277171* says:

    I hope I didn’t seem angry in my post :)

    I enjoyed johnq’s post. I get so many different perspectives from the blog (E, JohnQ, red just to name a few 😉 ) and that’s the great part about this lovely place 😀

  665. E says:

    Oh SweetRedhead….LOL. no need to apologise!!!!!!!, it’s a blog we all have opinions. I was just sharing my thoughts, I love everyone’s ideas of what an SD is. It’s great to read :) I got into this a year go thinking one thing: old rich dude gives young spring chicken money for intimacy, and to read how that is NOT at all what an SD is and read yours, johnq’s, even outraged (who has disappeared) opinion. I think it’s great and i just chimed in……………….. it’s the only place I can discuss this freely. My friends even the two that know I am an SB think it’s all about the money and sex and don’t understand it and I can’t explain it to them, so I love having an outlet to talk about my experiences and ideas with. thank you for indulging me m’dear -x-

  666. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    The funny thing is my first relationship from this site was nothing like what JQ said and it was GREAT! I have no complaints about it. It was VERY different. We all just have to decide what we will agree to and what we won’t. That’s why I always say ASK what the other is looking for. It may not be what you thought you wanted but it works for you :)

  667. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    E you are right. No need to get hostile lol. Everyone does have there views on what they want in this type of relationship. No one is saying that is right or wrong. what JQ said is What I want and I responded to that. There are some others who would agree with me and some that don’t that that is ok.

    IF I made it sound like it was the ONLY way a relationship should be I apologize, that was not my intention.

  668. E says:

    Jai says:

    However, my SD seems to be much the opposite of what you’ve outlined. In reading most of the posts and opinions of fellow sugars, our arrangement seems a bit outside the sugar box.

    I think with all do respect to JohnQ and he did say that the SD “Outline” (or Novel LOL) he wrote was how he felt an SD relationship should work, but Jai hit the nail on the head: EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT!!!! We all have different needs some we are vocal about here, 1 or 2 we have let our potentials know about and they have let us know what they are looking for. I think we can establish that Seeking Arrangement isn’t a loan service as much as the UBER needy SB’s who need bills and rent and all that jazz wish it was, it is what JohnQ said: a place to meet someone to live out your fantasy with. But we all have different fantasies and needs and desires. I’ve met some men who really have the desire to assist a woman with the mundane………..they want to get their needs and wants and really geniunely assist someone with their goals and aspirations however unromantic those are. Some men just want to have sexy times and exotic travel and a lighthearted SB who might have achieved these goals already and just want to have some fun. Others might want a live in assistant or chef (DC!!) It’s a different experience for all, and Johnq isn’t wrong at all, not suggesting that, but I think Jai’s point about it not being a cookie cutter arrangement is not something to be overlooked and no one should feel pressured those who post on the blog and those who don’t to be dishonest about what they are looking for no matter how real or unreal the expectation is because I’ll reiterate : THERE IS SOMEONE HERE FOR EVERYONE!!!!!

  669. lisa says:

    there is a really nice one by kohler that is very low and heats up, it’s just nice. I had a really nice bidet but I had to leave it when I left my family, like nice bathrooms. Going to start cleaning my apartment right now. Be back in a while

  670. Jai*277171* says:

    Why a heated toilet Lisa?

  671. lisa says:

    an airconditioner or washer isn’t very romantic but having sex in a hot apartment and not being able to wash the sweaty sheets afterwards because you have no washer isn’t very romantic either, lol

    Personal gifts are nice such as perfume, flowers, candy, clothing,etc. I’m not interested in jewelry at all. I would love to have one of those fancy heated seat toilets that cost about 1800 dollars, could I ask a sd for that? lol

  672. lisa says:

    Good afternoon everyone, home from work, tired. Got an email from my sd. More like the latest pool maintancence report as almost the whole long email was about the chemicals he is using to get his pool ready for summer. Also went into detail about application, etc. I know nothing about pools and have only been in a pool once in my life when I was about 8 and I got the h*** beat out of me by my mom when she found out. So it’s difficult to read his emails. He said tuesday afternoon or evening will be good if it’s alright with me so I guess I have another set sd date for tuesday, if he doesna’t cancell or get strangled in the weeds, lol

  673. Jai*277171* says:

    Johnq-Very well said indeed :)

    However, my SD seems to be much the opposite of what you’ve outlined. In reading most of the posts and opinions of fellow sugars, our arrangement seems a bit outside the sugar box.

    Very informative. Good to read something like that written by an actual SD.

  674. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    WOW johnq Very very well said. To me that sounds like the perfect SD relationship. I think that is exactly what most of us SB’s are looking for. I think that statement should be sent to all SD’s as a reference to how to work a relationship. Thank you for your insite.

  675. johnq says:

    OK, now I’d like to talk a bit about an SD’s perspective about SD to SB gifts., since that’s come up a couple of times above. Actually, that’s not entirely correct, since what I’m really going to talk about is my perspective on gifts. Other SDs may differ, and I’m sure many do.

    An SD does not want to feel like an ATM machine. A man who’s happy to be an ATM machine is not an SD. He’s a john. Or possibly a husband. But not an SD.

    From the SD perspective, this thing is about romantic fantasy. Not 100% fantasy, since any SD who can’t distinguish reality from fantasy probably won’t hold onto his money long enough to be an SD anyway. But the fantasy component has to be at least a major part of it.

    Think the first six months of a beautiful relationship you had when young, something that in retrospect you recognized couldn’t possibly last but was utterly intoxicating in the moment. That’s the feeling SDs want. (Or at least the feeling I want).

    So let’s translate this into the “arrangement” aspect of this thing. A monthly check or deposit, or whatever shouldn’t interfere with the fantasy aspect, since that’s arranged up-front, and can be more or less ignored as the relationship continues (unless the check doesn’t show up or doesn’t clear, in which event a serious conversation has to take place).

    In my opinion, gifts are different. They should contribute to the romantic fantasy aspect, rather than subtract from it. Romantic gifts in this genre are no different than in the normal dating scene (except for engagement rings, which are unlikely to be encountered here). Clothes, lingerie, jewelry are all good, since these are things the SB can wear on dates with the SD. Gifts reflecting an understanding of the SB’s likes and/or hobbies are also romantic. If she likes photography, a gift of a high end camera would be extremely thoughtful, since this shows that the SD has been paying attention.

    Again, the focus is on the romantic.

    Mundane gifts are not romantic. Human beings need lots of stuff to survive. Air conditioners, for example (depending on where you live). Air conditioners, however, are not romantic. (Unless, I suppose, you’re having a lot of very sweaty sex in the SB’s place, in which event I guess AC might be a romantic-type gift). Washing machines aren’t romantic. Work clothes aren’t romantic. Car repairs aren’t romantic. These are things a husband will expect to buy for his wife, or at least to pay for when she buys them. These are not things that will bring romantic thoughts to the mind of an SD.

    So I would advise against asking for gifts like this. Again, YMMV, and some SDs may be more than happy to help out. But a request for this kind of gift, or even a blatant hint, may well leave the SD with the feeling that this relationship is becoming a bit mundane. Giving an air conditioner is not as fun as giving lingerie.

    This is not to say, of course, that most SBs actually need lingerie. Air conditioners or car repairs are much more practical, and I’d guess more women would find them of value.

    But the point of a gift in an SD-SB relationship is at least as much to make the SD feel good as to benefit the SB. If the gift doesn’t leave the SD feeling romantic, then there’s some possibility that you’re on the downhill slide to a non-romantic, real-world relationship. (Possibly a better and more realistic place to be, but on this site we’re talking about SDs and SBs, and not serious, committed relationships).

    So my advice to SBs is: don’t even hint about gifts you might want. If the SD asks, respond with something romantic that works for both of you: clothes, lingerie, etc.

    Another piece of advice: know when to refuse a gift. If your car breaks down, and the SD offers to have it fixed on his dime, tell him you’ll take care of it yourself and if he wants to spend the money you’d prefer he spend it on something you’d both enjoy, e.g. a couples spa day.

    By turning down gifts, an SB will establish that she’s not just in this for the money. The SD will remember this. And it’s quite likely that you’ll end up ahead of the game, since it’s more fun to be generous with someone who doesn’t expect it than with someone who does.

    Again, YMMV. And this all assumes that the SB actually has the resources to, for example, fix her own car and therefore the freedom to turn down that kind of gift. But I suspect that even relatively impoverished SBs will come out ahead if they focus less on their immediate, real-world needs, and more on keeping the relationship in the romantic, fantasy world, at least as much as possible.


  676. SouthernGent2 says:

    E – Oh a Texas gal I see. gmail sugardaddy49

  677. E says:

    SouthernGent2-No not at all, I am in Austin…….

  678. SouthernGent2 says:

    E – in which state are you located? If you don’t mind me asking that is 😉

  679. E says:

    SouthernGent2- thank you very much : )

  680. SouthernGent2 says:

    Girlie – this has turned out to be a really good thread of information.

    E- I like how you think.

    Johnq- great posts on your part.

    I’m sure I am leaving someone out.

  681. girlie says:

    Wow, this place has exploded with posts.
    I’m at work so just poking my head in for a second but I looooove the sound of the sugar party at Stormcats!

  682. Jai says:

    Off to have some lunch and curl up next to my SD lol well, sit in front and give a foot massage is more like it. Later sugars 😉

  683. bob says:

    off to parents house to refferee(sp) thier kitchen remodel.

  684. Jai says:

    Hey RedMaru! :) I had to run to Walgreens

  685. Redmaru says:

    Bye sweetred!!!! Speaking of bye I need to go too to get to a showing of Angels and Demons…oooh. Watching it all by my lonesome any tips for a good meet and greet letter post away I’ll be back. But for now bye everyone!!!

  686. bob says:

    Well I was a big boy and did it. Sent the meet and greet letter.

  687. Chocolatevenus143783 says:

    Unfotunately there will always be the bad that will want to take advantage of the good hearted! This is why we need these words of wisdom!
    Alot of people call it naivity (i think that is the spelling)..I just think of it as a learning curve!!

  688. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Time for me to get moving here. have a great day everyone bbl

  689. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    We are all here to support each other, give advice, get advice. It is great to get all the different prospectives and take them and make our own choices.

  690. Redmaru says:

    Hey Jai!
    If you’re still here! Good to see ya

  691. Redmaru says:

    Hey all sugars!!!
    Atalanta…..good points!
    I totally agree with sweetred as honesty is always the best policy

  692. Chocolatevenus143783 says:

    Hi ya everyone, ( waving from the UK) I so love coming back to this forum,catching up with things. Even at the age of 42 I am learning things all the time!

    Unfortunately, my SD has not arrived yet, I am starting to think I may have missed the bus! LOL. I just belive that things in the UK are very different.

    Take care CV aka Susanna x

  693. Atalanta says:

    So nice to see so many new SDs about!

    I agree with you, JohnQ, about the desperate money act.

    I think that even if you are on hard times, you need to present to your SD like you aren’t.
    Once you’re close enough to the point where you feel that he does care about you and your well-being, just mention that your AC might not be working, or you think your car might need some work but you’re a hopeless gal who doesn’t know a thing about cars. haha!
    I’m not saying I use these things, but just try and look as put together as possible.
    Say you’re looking for a job, ask SD to look over resume, maybe he will give you contacts. I wouldn’t directly ask.

  694. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I don’t think you can ever go wrong with being open and honest. It may not always come out with the ending you want, but isn’t it better to get it all out in the open and not get disappointed further down the line?

  695. Jai*277171* says:

    CSB-Ok, I wont ask lol bbq does sound good :)

    I agree with sweetred (once again) bob-o. Just enjoy enjoy enjoy. Look at the sugar bowl as half full not half empty 😛

  696. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    You won’t disappoint BOB. If you are honest with her and she is honest with you. You took the first step. Now the meeting is just the icing on the cake to find out if there is chemistry. You can now concentrate on just getting to know each other :)

  697. ChocolateSnowBunny says:

    Jai: Last day of regular food (don’t ask lol) so I’m having waffles and going to a BBQ later.

    Techgirl: Like everyone said, just be careful and have a plan B and maybe C. I’m hoping it’s option #1 from JohnQ’s ingenious post and you get to enjoy a beach getaway.

  698. bob says:

    I dont know. I took the advice of sweetredhead and ya’ll and took a no-non-sense aproach with this one and she came back saying she really liked that for a change. listed what she wanted and what was up in the air. Now just time for the meet and greet and cant get of center for some reason. She is 30 and I am 46 which is perfect for me. I guess I just do not want to be disappointed again. but will do it today.

    I belive I am getting retarded.

  699. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Bob why are you putting off answering your SB?

  700. Jai*277171* says:

    He had his cigar while I was in the shower this am :) Have you had yours? And why are you putting off you SB responsibilities? 😛

  701. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    johnq impressive! I dub you the new SD person to go to for advice. You really think through things and have a great prospective. Well said.

  702. Jai*277171* says:

    CSB-It’s still morning in AZ :) but I’m good. I washed my dishes and tinkered with yesterday’s gumbo a bit. What’s for breakfast? Glad you’re enjoying your weekend :)

    Tech-Just enjoy yourself. When that stops happening, time to go :)

  703. bob says:

    Morning Jai glad you got the dishes done…lol…Is your SD smoking his morning ciar yet.

    Nice to meet you to storm cat.

    I have to anserw my pot SB today and keep puting it off

  704. johnq says:


    Writing from the SD perspective (though I’m obviously not the guy you’re meeting with and can’t be sure about what’s in his mind), I would guess there are several possibilities about what’s going through his mind:

    1. He has some kind of romantic fantasy about what the trip is going to be like, possibly involving springing the beach trip on you once you got to NY. By introducing some reality into the equation you’re letting some of the air out of his balloon, as it were.

    2. He’s worried that you’re going to end up taking advantage of him by spending the minimum amount of time with him and getting yourself a NY vacation that you can spend on your own on his dime.

    3. He’s peeved that he’s being generous (at least in his mind) with you and you’re demanding more, and he’s wondering if you’re going to be high maintenance.

    4. He’s controlling and/or wants as much sex as he can get out of you in the 4 days and your having your own hotel gives you some control over the interaction and he doesn’t like that.

    5. He’s cheap and doesn’t want to pay for the hotel.

    6. He’s into you and doesn’t understand why you’re insisting on an escape plan, because he isn’t empathetic enough or is too dense to recognize that you have legitimate concerns, since no matter how you feel about him you haven’t known him long enough to feel secure.

    7. You’re misreading him and he’s actually OK with this.

    Regardless of which of these is going on, I would strongly advise having a Plan B, whether you go to some beach place or not. To me, the hotel is not that important, per se, since you can always find a hotel room in NY on short notice if you need to. Of greater importance is making sure you can leave his presence if and when you need to or want to. That means having the ability to call a cab, if necessary, or having a rental car available. That also means having enough cash on hand to survive for a couple of days in the city without him if you actually need to. It also means not being isolated without transportation in some rural area (i.e., a beach house he owns in the middle of nowhere).

  705. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    stormcat you are fine. No harm is a little fun and flirting. Heck I flirt with the girls too lmao. AND NO I son’t swing that way, just in case anyone was wondering lmao

  706. Techgirl says:

    Sigh… I know it’s a lesson learned. I guess I was just very naive about the whole thing. Anyways I’ll still go ahead with his vacation for us but if my gut tell me something isn’t right I won’t be seeing him again.

  707. ChocolateSnowBunny says:

    Hello Jai. How are you this afternoon? I’m finally getting up and having my breakfast. Gosh I love long weekends. I get to do this again tomorrow :)

  708. Jai*277171* says:

    Sure sure red lol sure sure 😉 j/k you two are cute to watch.

  709. Stormcat says:

    Thanks Jai! lol

    hi Bob, nice to meet you! Just a little banter in fun. Didn’t mean any disrespect to the blog. Sorry everyone.

  710. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    LMAO we don’t need a room. I think we both are just natural flirts :) All innocent of course :)

  711. Jai*277171* says:

    Morning CSB :)

  712. Jai*277171* says:

    Morning bob-o! :) Can I call you bob-o?

  713. Jai*277171* says:

    Get a room Stormcat and sweetred 😛

    Tech-I agree with sweetred. I would not recommend going forward then asking someone’s name if you can understand what I’m saying 😉 But it’s all a learning experience. Hopefully things will work out for the best.

    Side note: He should have bought your ticket out right and obliged your request for a room. Your comfort should be a priority :)

  714. bob says:

    good morning everyone.
    stormcat what are you trying to span

  715. ChocolateSnowBunny says:

    Good morning sugars.

    As per the need/desperation convo earlier…hope I don’t get bombarded for this one lol.

    It seems the SDs have brought up the issue about having an SB that is dependent on him. I agree that is can be turnoff to some SDs though maybe not all. However, the other side of the coin would be the SD that appears to be desperate. Such as he needs intimacy or love and affection. I have spoken to a potential SD before that was a very kindhearted and nice man. Nonetheless, in our conversations (messenger) he sometimes showed how much he needed intimacy. Although never in a rude way, I was certainly a turnoff. I know thats part of why most SDs are on this site therefore it doesn’t need to be mentioned much in the “getting to know” phase. The pressure to replace your wife in the beginning can be very daunting. Please just allow a true SD/SB relationship to foster. Just because SDs are the providers doesn’t mean they can have things the way that most benefits them. I know my SBs friends here know this so I’m not faulting you guys. It just seemed to be sweep under the rug during all that SB desperation talk. JMHO.

  716. Stormcat says:

    Sweetred: Maybe so baby, but I love it when you try!

  717. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Excuse my bluntness but should you not have asked these thing BEFORE you started a sexual relationship with him? Now you are confused and feeling used. Partly your own fault (sorry to say)

  718. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I am not the one distracting Stormcat I swear lol

  719. Techgirl says:

    Sigh…. well I paid for the ticket which he said he would reimburse, and I told him I am booking a night in a hotel even though i might stay with him just because I would feel more comfortable. He didn’t say anything about it – and I know he doesn’t like it but whatever …. I need to feel safe. It’s something I am going to bring up in person and see what happens from there.

    I am very confused by the whole thing… I don’t think he is looking for a SB in me, more like a normal relationship. That’s another thing I want to ask him in person….

  720. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    sweetred~ I totally agree, it’s not always a bad thing!
    Stormcat~ wow it’s beautiful in the Adirondacks.I’ve driven there a few times!

  721. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    A redhead in Florida is a BIG challenge you up for it stormcat? lmao j/k could not resist!

  722. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    NSA is a nice concept, but I think with anything there is always some kind of strings attached. But that is not always a bad thing.

  723. Stormcat says:

    I’m in the Adirondacks, Upstate NY. Northwest of Albany.

    I’m up for about anything thats fun and presents a challenge.

  724. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Tech girl I would give him the benefit of the doubt. Go and have your own money if things go south. that way you can leave or get your own hotel. Always have a back up plan :)

  725. Jai*277171* says:

    Good idea Storm :)

    Tech-So you ended up paying out of pocket anyway?

  726. Stormcat says:

    sweetred you got mail back!
    Anyone else notice how all the fun happens here, while the serious compositions are being written.
    The new blog topic I’d like to see would be: What exactly is an NSA relationship? What are strings anyway. How do they get attached. Is there such a thing as a relationship that doesn’t have some kind of string?

  727. Jai*277171* says:

    You’ve got mail red 😛

  728. Techgirl says:

    Hi girls….(and guys),

    Well I basically held my guard and told him that I need my space and that it’s an extra effort on his part [to book a hotel for me] but I expect it.

    Quick recap: a potential SD invited me for Memorial Day weekend and expected me to stay at his place for 4 days which I do not want to. When I asked him to book a hotel for me he said it was an odd request, since I had stayed with him last time and we got along great (but I had a hotel booked which I COULD go back to that’s the difference). Anyways, so when I held my guard he replied saying that we are going away from NY (to some beach) and not really staying at his place… I suppose implying that’s why there is no need to book a separate hotel for me since we are taking a vacation together.

    Anyways I’m SO not sure what the heck it means. On one hand, my profile said I loved beaches and he might be trying to be romantic and stuff. On the other hand, maybe it’s his way out of trying to book a hotel for me had we stayed in NY.

    So I just told him that since we are going to be taking a vacation at a beach for 3 days out of the 4, I am booking myself a hotel room for the other day; that I loved staying with him at his apt but I needed a place of my own should the need arises.

    Not sure what I feel about this – either he is very considerate or using me :\. I’m an optimist so I’m tending to go with the first, but you know what they say “fool me once, shame on you fool me twice, shame on me”!

  729. Jai*277171* says:

    Lol why do you say that sweetred? I’m fully clothed. I’m wearing his clothes right now actually 😛

  730. Jai*277171* says:

    Oh, so you’re offering up my buns as a sacrifice? lol

  731. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Go naked??? O)O You have been hanging around your Sd way to much Jai lmao

  732. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I don’t want to get spanked by Stephen lol

  733. Jai*277171* says:

    GG go naked lol you can’t go wrong that way!

  734. Jai*277171* says:

    Thanks sweetred :) I just finished them. Wait, why are you hiding behind me lol

    Morning gg!

  735. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Goodgirl, I think we have all been there lol.

    Ok people we need a new thread this one is loading way to slow!! Stephen!!! hehe time to wake him up and put his thinking cap on for a new thread. I am going to hide behind Jai

  736. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Good morning Beach_Girl. WOW afternoon already!! oops. Guess you just have to move to NYC lol

  737. goodgirl*313749 says:

    good morning to all!!!! gonna TRY to find something in my closet to wear for this date tonight! ugh! i hate this part. by the time i’m done my room will be a disaster area and my cali king bed with be covered in all my outcast clothing! lol

  738. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Jai I will send my son over to your house to do your dishes for you :)

  739. Jai*277171* says:

    Lol I’ll pass Beach :)

  740. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Stormcat where is your cabin? My grandparents used to have a cabin, my grandfather built in Vermont. I loved going there every summer. My grandfather taught me to fish and row a boat at a very young age. That was the best times of my life, spending time with my grandfather at that cabin!!
    I remember one winter the snow was so high!! we had to go to the cabin and walk several miles in to get to the cabin to get the snow off the roof. I was young and kept falling in the snow and my grandfather had to keep pulling me up out of it. It was so much fun!!

  741. Jai*277171* says:

    That just means your extra fabulous SD is still in the works sweetred. He’s being made just for you 😀

  742. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    Hello Sugars!
    Sweetred~ Why are all the SDs so far :( . Why can’t i just head out and have coffee with one right now!!! Coz If i could i’d be in NYC right now!
    Jai~ i’ll do your dishes if you clean my house lmao!
    Stormcat~ Rebuilding it yourself? wow…

  743. Jai*277171* says:

    Maybe if I stomp and kick, someone will appear and do them. :)

    I went to a store on Friday and they had just close lol so as I was walking away, I stopped and stomped in place and the cashier came out and said, “I have to let you in just because you had a tantrum on the side walk.” Lol Slightly embarrassing, but worth it because I got what I needed 😉

  744. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Why do all the good SdDs already have an SB?? always a day late and a dollar short lmao.

  745. Jai*277171* says:

    Stormcat a sugar party sounds great! :) You seem very active. What all are you into?

    Aw sweetred, come on? I don’t want to wash them.

  746. Stormcat says:

    Most definately! I’m in the mountains this weekend, trying to get my house up here rebuilt during a remarkably short building season. It collapsed under the snow load winter before last. It won’t do that again, though. I’m rebuilding with 8X15″ redwood beams. It’s starting to look fantastic. I ought to throw a long weekend sugar party when I finish!
    Anyway all the work leads to mighty sore muscles! Course that might also be from all the spring runoff kayak runs I’ve been doing with my river rat buddies. :)

  747. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Not me lol. I have sons that do dishes here and a dishwasher. I hate doing dishes.

  748. Jai*277171* says:

    I have dishes to do and I don’t want to do them lol I should have done them last night. Can someone come do my dishes? 😛

  749. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    stormcat you have mail :)

  750. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Stormcat that is so true. I prefer to drive to my destinations then to fly. You find the greatest places off the beaten track. But I do like my messenger :) Instant response and faster chating :)

  751. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Stormcat needs a massage, poor man :(

  752. Jai*277171* says:

    Morning red :) I know! I would never think to email ANYone some of the things these men say lol

  753. Stormcat says:

    Got it. I have messenger but I hardly ever log on bc it’s too distracting. I must be getting stuck in my ways bc I prefer the old slow e-mail method. I take to heart the Throeau addage – the slowest method of travel yields the richest experience.

  754. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Morning Jai. How are you this beautiful day? You have no idea some of the messages I get lmao. I always answer them, with a thanks but no thanks or I am already in a arrangement. Sometimes I get creative lol But damn what ARE they thinking!!

  755. Jai says:

    Thanks Stormcat :) That’s nice of you to make yourself available. You’re going to be swamped with im.

  756. Jai says:

    Good morning all! :)

    I got an email from the pushy foreign Splenda Daddy :) He wants to do lunch and ‘fun’. He makes me wonder how many men behave this way. He keeps coming back. Over and over and over and over…I can go on 😛 Is it a divide and conquer thing?

    Any way, how is everyone??!!!

  757. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I added you to my messenger :) thank you!

  758. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I am honored Stormcat :) I am not a paying member this month so i have no idea who listed me as favorites or even looked at my profile.

  759. Stormcat says:

    anyone else here for that matter. I’d love to hear from you.

  760. Stormcat says:

    Frustrated as hell! always have hated this particular drawing program. But it’s the industry standard so I’m stuck with it:(
    By the way sweetred you do know that you’re on my favs list. anyway you can always yahoo stormcatgl. I’d be happy to help.

  761. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    johnq thank you for clearing that up. I agree with you :) This is not something you should count on to be your rescue. This should be fun and again something you want not need. (I feel like I am repeating myself lol)
    But It’s so true.

  762. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Oh just wonder how to execute an Idea I had for an invention lol. How are you today stormcat :)

  763. Stormcat says:

    Hey Y’all
    Here I am! Been working on some prototype drawings and the program isn’t cooperating. Got fed up with it and thought I’d take a break and peek at what’s happenin here. It’s nice to feel needed. I guess it must be a SD thing.
    so Sweetred, what’s up?

  764. johnq says:


    I’m not saying that people who are out of work are desperate. Some are, some aren’t. I’m also not saying that people who are out of work would make needy, dependent SBs. Again, that would probably be true in some cases but not others, depending on the person.

    What I am saying is that someone who is economically desperate, for whatever reason, is probably not going to be attractive SB material, and that someone in that position is probably better off doing what you did and putting her life back in order.

    I also understand that there are a lot of people who are in serious economic trouble right now, and for many of them it’s not at all their fault. My point is that relying on an SD/SB relationship to pull yourself out of that is sort of like playing the lottery in hopes that a jackpot will rescue you from your troubles. It’s a nice fantasy, but probably not realistic as a life plan.

  765. E says:


    DC-yes it was. Like I said, my very first SD didn’t care if i was after his money or not. He gave me a large sum, I think that he knew what he wanted, he got it, and he didn’t care if I was safe, had a nice time, what I did in his city as long as I did him, and I felt very used. Self respect should never be for sale but I think I handed him mine on a silver platter.

    As far as a steady income from an SD. The second SD I had, like I mentioned in my story, it didn’t start off that way. I was working in the university library, my rent was paid for by my scholarship, and I was doing okay. But he wanted to see me more so I started to work less and give up shifts to see him, and I thought “well he’s not leaving me any time soon, my allowance covers my bills, so it’s okay for me to stop working so much…….” Well, I had to quit my job altogether as I knew the head librarian wanted to fire me and I was too embarrassed to be fired. Plus at the end of the day, it’s about self respect. Being independent makes you feel better and that will show to anyone you are dating that you are working hard but happier :)

  766. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    johnq I would say I agree with you on the point that you are more attractive to a SD if you have your act together.

    But On the point of saying that someone is desperate because they have not done anything with their life I think can sometimes be false. In this economy right now, people have lost jobs, homes ect. People who have always taken care of themselves. So making that assumption is wrong.

    I lost my job a few months back, Now I was only out of a job for a month and I found a new job But that was perseverance and I have an excellent resume. But I was not desperate but it was tough. I feel for those people who can not find a job. it’s not easy out there right now. And I don’t think it is fair to say without knowing what their situation is.

  767. DC says:

    Good points…I could see why that would be a concern for a SD having an SB that was THAT dependent on them. Looking as a SD as a steady income stream is definitely not a good idea for either party

  768. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    DiscreetDaddy great advice!! Some of the other Sd’s and SB’s here on the blog have said the same things and given that same advice. But it never hurts to hear it again and again. Especially the new Sb’s.

  769. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    It’s ok E many people mistake me for a southern girl. I think I have that sweet southern mentality. Except when they see I am straight forward and tell it like it is, then they realize nope she is from the north lmao.

  770. DiscreetDaddy says:

    Thanks for the comments :)

    BTW, I would like the create a little guide for those looking for a real SD.

    1) Answer your emails, all of them.

    2) Discuss the arrangement you are both seeking to make sure it is the same thing. ( tell him married is OK or not)

    3) If he won’t send a picture it just means he is worried about revealing his identity, this is OK. It is risky business for a married guy, and we can lose everything we have worked for our whole life. PLEASE understand that.

    4) If things sound good make a call and block you number.

    5) If you seem to want the same things and feel comfortable, go meet
    at a public place where you can talk. No harm if it doesn’t work but you will never know unless you try.

    6) The most important one: Trust Your Instincts.

    I hope this get’s posted somewhere under ” tips to finding your SD

    I also hope that some of you girls use this to help you find the perfect match.

  771. DC says:

    E- that would be my worst nightmare!

    I agree, I have turned down offers to fly out to them, I just don’t feel comfortable. I prefer the same with regular dates as well. If we were a match after the first date then it’s something I would definitely do

  772. johnq says:

    I’d like to comment on the issue of SBs who need the money versus those who see it as a desirable but not necessary luxury.

    I can say from personal experience that an SB who smacks of desperation is a complete turn-off. At least for me. Legitimate SDs are successful men, and they’re probably not going to have a lot of sympathy for someone who’s reached adult age but can’t organize her life sufficiently to pay the phone bill. Besides, there’s no better way to give an SD the impression that he’s being seen as a walking ATM machine than to emphasize how much you need the money.

    These relationships are supposed to be fun. Being around someone who’s focused on extracting the rent money does not seem fun to me, and I would never want to put myself into a relationship that I couldn’t end without thinking that the SB might end up in the street.

    My advice to SBs who really, really need the money is either get your life together to the point that SD money is a luxury, rather than an absolute necessity, or at least appear that you’re in that situation. A legitimate SD will be a lot more interested in a woman who has something going for her, and desperation is a lousy negotiating position.

    I don’t want to appear condescending to people who have serious money problems. My guess, however, is that this lifestyle is a dead end if you’re in that position, since we’re talking about an income stream that is necessarily uncertain and subject to disappearing with no notice. If you can’t pay the rent or buy food, I tend to doubt that an SB relationship is going to turn your life around. You’d probably be better off getting your act together and then coming back into this lifestyle when you can legitimately treat an SD/SB relationship as a fun luxury rather than an economic necessity. That seems to me to be a healthier approach to life, and, from the SD perspective (or at least my perspective), is much, much more attractive.

  773. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    My ex always tried and I give him credit for that. It was never exactly what I wanted but it was close enough. He never knew it wasn’t perfect, because in my eyes he did try :) and to me that’s all that counts.
    Like this one time he bought me a necklace. It was heart shaped with sapphires all around it, he knew that is my favorite stone. He said when I open it, it looked just like you I knew you would love it. Yup I did, had one exactly like it lmao.

  774. E says:

    Sweetredhead-haha, my bad :)

    I also agree. My first SD flew me out to see him in his hometown and it was horrible. He was a nice guy but I don’t know how in detail I’ll go (nothing bad) but i flew to him saw him for about 1 hour, he gave me some cash and went back to his wife and I had NO CLUE what to do the first few days I was on my own. I went for a 4 day weekend and I think that had I put my foot down and said meet me here in my hometown (especially being young) it would have been better. What was worse was that I told NO ONE. No blog existed then so no one knew where I was and I didn’t have anyone to tell. The next arrangement was better as we lived in the same town.

  775. DC says:

    Too funny Suzie- I never got the waffle iron (sniffle) but I got the car stereo and sub woofer and speakers for my apartment. He would ask me what I wanted and I would say well you know what I love (birds) and I always hoped he’d buy me something that showed some thought …but nooooo.

  776. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    No E I am not from the south. I am a northern girl transplanted to the south 3 yrs ago now in florida. But I did lived in NC for 10 yrs when I was married, military wife.

  777. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    DiscreetDaddy you got it! :) Nice to know there are real Sd’s out there. From what you tell us you are a very good SD and your Sb is a lucky girl.

    I agree there must be chemistry. And yes meeting a stranger is hard. Especially when you hear horror stories. I think a real Sd will take that into consideration and try and make the SB as comfortable as possible.
    I have talked to a few men who want me to come to meet them, well that does not make me comfortable. I will be happy to go to them AFTER the first meeting. But the first meeting I think they should come to me. It feels safer to me to be in my own town. Some have agreed some say No way, so my answer is, sorry but that is my terms.

  778. E says:

    Thanks for the hellos and feedback!!!!

    DC-That sounds like a fun job!!!! And if he’s handsome, even better.

    Sweetred-you must be from the south!!! We always have those home remedies :)
    i have a story for you:

    I remember there was a family in a small town where I grew up that ran a waterslide. Imagine something at a water park where you grab a tube. Anyways this water slide was just like this except it was on the side of the highway (very classy right?) and you paid $2.50 to ride it. My brother and sister and i would all go as kids. I was kinda snobby so I rode it once and decided it was lame but my brother and sister would spend their allowance on it and ride and ride. One time my brother decided to go head first and he ran and hit his head and (not to gross anyone out) but blood was all over the place. It was horrible. In true redneck fashion the boy and girl who were working it (they were about 13&14) just grabbed a hose washed off the blood and kids kept riding. It sounds gross but it reminded me of your home remedy tricks.

  779. DC says:

    Supposedly it’s 10 SBs for every SD here DD. Your SB sounds like a lucky gal and vice versa.

    I agree about the mutual attraction. I could not be with an SD if I was not attracted to him. Sometimes the attraction is not immediate though. My last BF I was not attracted to until the third date when I got to know him a little better. After that I could not keep my hands off of him. So I am definitely about giving a situation a chance even if I may not feel a wild attraction for someone in the first meeting

  780. SuzieQ*297329* says:

    LOL DC! Yes my long ago ex used to buy me gifts like a waffle iron (he liked waffles) or a Foreman grill. Hmmm….I don’t mind being in the kitchen but I was getting the message that was the only place he wanted me!

    Speaking of the kitchen…breakfast calls!

  781. DiscreetDaddy says:


    It may be different for each guy in terms of what type of girl and her wants/needs. For me, I don’t mind a girl that let’s me know she could use the help because I love being in the role to do so.

    I suppose if were not the case, it would boil down to the chemistry between us. There absolutely MUST be some kind of mutual attraction
    for both of us. If a girl was so desperate for money that she would go out with any guy, I would not go near her.

    The problem meeting someone is all the fear associated with a “stranger”.

    For me I just tell them we need to meet in a public place and see how things go. I met a few girls before I decided on my SB because I didn’t feel
    attracted to them.

    For me, this is a commitment. I certainly don’t want more than one girl for many different reasons so you must choose wisely.

    From what I picked up by speaking with some girls is the fact there are more of them than us. There seems to be too many guys just playing games or don’t have the money to be a SD.

    So that leaves more good girls than guys and if you are a SB that is happy
    well, count your blessings.

    I believe in fate and destiny, and I feel both of us met at a time in our lives where we really need each other.

    On a side note, a lot of women here who say they want something can
    be pretty fickle. They read emails and chose to ignore but don’t realize
    they might just be blowwing off the real deal SD of their dreams.

    I don’t get it.

    I will be the best SD that a girl will ever dream of, I know so …

  782. SuthrnExec says:

    The ramp lets them climb out if they get in, but if you can prevent them from getting in the first place, no need!

    I’ve heard of toothpaste on cold sores – it apparently works pretty well. I think it’s probably the sodium lauryl sulfate that’s in most toothpastes that helps dry them up and render the virus inactive.

  783. SuzieQ*297329* says:

    Well I’m going to get some breakfast and get to those chores. Have a great day everyone!

  784. DC says:

    That’s great Suzie! I know what you mean about picking a gift. I find it very hard to accept gifts….and help of any kind for that matter. But for me a small gift that took some thought means a lot.

    My ex boyfriend used to drive me crazy. He did not have a romantic bone in his body. His idea of a gift was to ask me what I wanted and then inevitably I would get some kind of electronic doo- dad that he really wanted LOL

    Toothpaste on a cold sore- I have never had one but will have to tell my friends about that

  785. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I need something to keep them out, not keep them in lol

  786. SuzieQ*297329* says:

    Wa la! I like that sweet red, I will remember that next time my sd pours salad dressing on my blouse lol!

    I always thought cold sores were virus, like the cold virus. No matter, if toothpaste works then Colgate is your friend! I find ice works great too (freezes the sucker to death and takes down the pain/swelling) and lately oil of oregano has been my cure all. Tastes horrible but I haven’t had even a sore throat or stuffy nose since I’ve kept it in the house. Anti viral, anti fungal, anti bacterial, but probably anti sd too as it really tastes bad lol!

  787. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Here is another one for any of you larger chested woman. (guys cover your eyes) I used to get a rash from perpetration under my boobs. Well I thought deodorant stops perpetration right? So I put a small amount under my boobies, no more rashes :)

  788. SuthrnExec says:

    Sweet, there is actually in ingenious little thing called a Critter Skimmer that is a little ramp that attaches to the skimmer so that the frogs can climb out. Supposedly works wonders.

  789. SuzieQ*297329* says:

    Nice to see everyone waking up…finally! Good morning Gail and DC.

    Things are great with my sd, thanks for asking DC. We have only had the one date so far but we chat/email almost every day and seem to be getting along really well. My homework is to choose the restaurant for our 2nd date, and also to choose something I would like him to bring for me. I told him I was finding that harder than writing my honours thesis! I guess I am just going to have to get used to it lol!

  790. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    A fixer lol. I see something like salad dressing stain on a blouse hmmm what will get that out, well dawn takes grease out of your dishes, ok lets try it. Now I never have those nasty oil stains that never wash out. Just put a dab of dawn on the spot wash and wa la all gone :)

    Another good one. for a cold sore or fever blister. Put tooth paste on it. It’s a bacteria right, well tooth paste cleans bacteria from your mouth. Cold sores are on your mouth. WOrks faster than any expensive or prescription topical :)

  791. SuzieQ*297329* says:

    You see sweetred? You have a hidden talent! Don’t quit your day job just yet, but you never know….lol!

    Maybe it was stormcat, I can’t quite remember. Youhooo!…..stormcat, what that you?

  792. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Gail ewwwwwww I am not harvesting frogs in my pool lol

  793. Gail says:

    Suzie says: “So yes, I have needs, but they are not desperate, I need money now to pay the rent type needs.”
    Tee, Hee, Hee….Thank you for making me chuckle so early in the morning Suzie : )

    Welcome E!!!

    SweetRed….baby frogs legs for sale : ) would be a great business venture!

  794. DC says:

    Oops, sorry…Good morning Lisa and Percy-

    Lisa, is the a/c still working? Please say yes 😉

  795. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    SuzieQ there was? stormcat? It’s funny I have thought of things, for example I have always used dawn with tide laundry soap for greasy clothing. Then they come out with tide with dawn. When my daughter was a baby she screamed if a cold baby wipe hit her butt. I thought of making a baby wipe warmer. A few years later, they had a baby wipe warmer. Many things have been like that.

  796. DC says:

    Good morning Sweetredhead, SuzieQ and girlie! Welcome E and DD-

    Suzie- how are things with your new SD?
    DD- that is a great story. Sounds like you found a perfect SB for you. Best of luck.

    E- great story as well. Sounds like you have had some great life experience at such an early age.