11 years ago
RE: Sex, Money & Sugar



“The “Sex, Money, and Sugar” post struck a nerve with me, as I do NOT plan on becoming intimate with my future SD under any circumstances. There is absolutely no compromising or negotiating in this area for me. In fact, the very idea of sex thoroughly disgusts me! I’m certain I’m not the only sugar who shares this sentiment (minus the palpable disgust, of course).

Not only have I submitted and read a few comments in previous posts reflecting same, but I’ve given and received the suggestion that giving up the sugar search altogether is the only solution. I personally have suspended my search for personal reasons, but just the same I’d like to finish what I’ve started with renewed confidence. If my search takes longer than average (whatever that is; I understand results vary), so be it.”Novemberaine~306712

What are your thoughts on sexless sugar?

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939 Responses to “RE: Sex, Money & Sugar”

  1. nolen says:

    How is everyone doing?

  2. sugarpappii says:

    Let’s all be honest with ourselves here. People talk all fluffy and with tons of euphamisms so that they can confuse the subject and try to get an unfair advantage for themselves.

    “friends” = no sex.
    “relationship” = sex.

    it is that simple. SD/SB is a type of relationship, therefore there’s sex involved. “Dating” (whether conventional or SD/SB) is the process of getting to know someone and deciding if you want to be in a relationship (have sex) with them. Dating is a very short time period in which money is flowing from the man to the woman but there is no sex yet. Dating is a risky investment for a man because he has to ante up his resources before she makes up her mind.

    The selfish women out there know this and take advantage of it. They are much like strippers in that they specialize in leading a guy on and feigning sexual interest just enough to keep the money flowing, but they never intend to commit to him (have sex).

    Sexless sugar? Its one of the 3 scenarios following:

    There are some guys out there who know the nature of they game, but do it anyway. They like the power she has over them, and the psychological games of trying to beat her at her own game. There are also some guys who are so lonely due to some disadvantage, that they will accept any sort of strings attached female companionship. These guys are “marks”. They’re very old, physically challenged, low-self esteem, or unattractive. They will put up with any sort of selfish behavior on the woman’s part just to have female company. The third type is your married but lonely businessman who is a road warrior. He probably has a wife or girlfriend at home that he rarely sees. He wants female companionship but isn’t quite ready to cheat on his spouse. These are the “bar finds” popular in Asia.

    Any girl specifically seeking out sexless sugar is a selfish gold digger. All she wants is the money, and she wants to do the least possible to get it.

    The honest and ethical among us should approach it like this. “Would I want to have sex with this person if it was NOT an SD/SB arrangement”. If the answer is yes, then proceed. The sugar is an added plus but it should not be the primary motivation. If you find yourself changing your standards in order to get sugar, you’re a prostitute.

    Girls, you’re entering into a *relationship*. There’s real people involved and your Daddy has feelings. Don’t visualize him as his bank account! Any Daddy with any sense of self-esteem will immediately screen you out if he gets any hint of that behavior. Relationships have SEX and EMOTIONAL INTIMACY.

    Sexless sugar is extortion of men who have no other options by women who are con artists. SD/SB without EMOTIONAL INTIMACY is prostitution.

    • Kimiko says:

      I agree. That’s why there is an arrangement and the M&G. The M&G is to see if you both click so you can both seek an arrangement. Sex is part of it and where the thrill begins!

  3. Doug says:

    “What he has to realise is that a good girl might just become more obliging to him, once she sees he is not out to use her.”

    It also works the other way around.

    “It’s not a big deal to you for the Sugar Baby to screw over the Sugar Daddy financially,

    Who the hell wants to get screwed over!!!!!

    You haven’t figured it out, it’s really not about the money to the men.

  4. Robert says:

    [q]My point to him was that – if I give of myself sexually before the arrangement is well established, then he leaves… I can’t reclaim what I just gave away… my body, my self, my sexual/sensual/self worth.

    Whereas, on the other hand, if he gives me money before we really get too involved (a few hundred, a couple of thousand) it’s not a big deal – he has the skill and business acumen to regain that money through other means.[/q]

    So it’s not a big deal to you for the Sugar Baby to screw over the Sugar Daddy financially, but if he has sex with her and then doesn’t help her out financially that is a travesty huh? Wow….

    If you don’t trust that your sugar daddy will take care of you after having sex with him you shouldn’t be having sex with him! It’s far more likely, in my humble opinion, the girl will scam the guy, take all of his money (or as much as she can get) and never do what she promised.

    Guys want to continue the relationship if the sex is great. We are not going to ruin the relationship over a tiny bit of money, but we also know it’s likely for our money to disappear on a regular basis to the myriad of con artists who call them themselves sugar babies here!

    I’ve filed lawsuits against three so called sugar babies on this website. A girl should think twice about taking my money and disappearing. I viciously pursue anyone who set out to scam me.

    After the last scam I realized what this site is about and ended my membership. There are too many scam artists here for my taste but good luck to all of you “sugar baby” scam artists who feel it’s okay to take a man’s money and not give anything in return.

  5. Aust SB says:

    I tried to arrange for a wealthy man through a SD site to just be a mentor.
    I wanted the financial arrangements, because I actually wanted the education to help me become financially stable in my own right, so I would not need to seek out a man to help me out financially.

    However, he was a poor choice – arrogant, opinionated and though he did attempt to give me information, he seemed too quick to denegrate any idea I had, and then told me I needed to be more balanced, that I always became very positive and excited about possible business ventures.

    He went on to find himself some sex-sugar…

    Good for him – the last thing I need is to be criticised for my enthusiasm.

    My point to him was that – if I give of myself sexually before the arrangement is well established, then he leaves… I can’t reclaim what I just gave away… my body, my self, my sexual/sensual/self worth.

    Whereas, on the other hand, if he gives me money before we really get too involved (a few hundred, a couple of thousand) it’s not a big deal – he has the skill and business acumen to regain that money through other means.

    Might be oversimplifying it – but I have decided that I will just be very upfront about it with a potential SD. He has to understand, he wants to be intimate, and he knows he will – by virtue of presenting himself as a SD – be giving some of his wealth to the babe for the exchange.
    He has to appreciate that a babe does not want to feel like a prostitute (paid for sex) and also doesn’t want to be devalued by being involved in an intimate situation where SD has not been financially generous… if he walks away she has nothing… she has given her intimacy, he gets what he wants and she gets nothing.

    I don’t believe in sexless SD/SB connections – UNLESS it is clearly spelled out that in exchange for SD’s money and his education, SB learns how to be involved in business and the SD receives a financial ROI – like how a mentor would.

    Sometimes we girls want to better ourselves – some of us come from poor backgrounds and we don’t have the education, skill or mentorship in our circles to help us become better in our lives.
    That’s why we turn to SDs, wealthy men who could take the time to learn what the SB knows, how clever or intuitive she is from a business acumen point of view, and subsequently invest in her, so that he makes more money from the relationship.
    What he has to realise is that a good girl might just become more obliging to him, once she sees he is not out to use her.

  6. dreamer says:

    i would love a non sex arrangement
    but lets face it guys here are looking for companionship
    even in a normal relationship what guy would support a woman and just get a kiss on the cheek

    im sorry sugar babes may hate me but i dont care fair is fair
    you expect a guy to give you the world and expect nothing in return if thats the case get off your ass go get a job support your own damn selves

    now if a non sexual relationship is what the daddy is looking for thats ok

  7. thepoollady says:

    Robert and (not really a) DorkyGuy. I agree with you both. It is silly to think that women who want money out of a relationship should only supply a nice lunch, especially for the amount of money wanted. Nobody, is that desperate, and DorkyGuy you are too nice looking to even think you need to worry about a nice platonic relationship with a nice woman. There are still nice women like myself in the world. I still believe sex is something to be factored in when women are seeking money for arrangements. The great thing about this website is that right away you can be honest about what you want or need. No game playing. No BS. I like sex, money, and cuddling. I would be perfectly happy with one man all of the time, but I am not interested in marriage. I am not willing to give up my inheritance or freedom to make choices in my life, like where to live, what to eat, what to wear, how to dress, what to say, etc… You both are not so different, than some of the women here. We all do not want to get married and be a man slave. We want “Quid Pro Quo.”

  8. Robert says:

    DorkyGuy, you and I are pretty similar in what we are seeking. In my profile I said: “Perhaps I don’t belong in this website…”

    Some of these girls want $5000 a month for a platonic relationship–it’s mind boggling. I could have ten girlfriends right now. Call me really shallow, but I just want someone really good looking to be with and not just someone average. So I am here on this website.

    For me the allowance is the implied statement I know I can’t get a girl that young or hot on my own and she is looking to be taken care of as part of the relationship. The guys she is used to dating can’t financially take care of her. So we both compromise in this type of relationship. I compromise with money. She compromises by dating someone she’s a little too good for. For me, the term “relationship” is key. If the girl just wants to exchange time for money then she is an escort or prostitute.

    Someone once told me an escort is a pseudo-prostitute and a sugar baby is a pseudo escort. Therefore, a sugar baby is a pseudo-pseudo prostitute. When some girls want to exchange time and sex for money what else can they be called?

    A sugar baby relationship for me has to have chemistry and a genuine connection. It’s also an open relationship and no drama. I don’t want a girl asking to get married in two weeks. I try to explain this to girls, but half of them on this site are looking to be escorts and that’s the problem in finding a good match.

    • Anonymous says:

      I TOTALLY AGREE!! Someone with BRAINS needs to SPELL IT OUT for these chicks. 3 to 5 grand for NOTHING? Im not thirsty or desperate!! Like u i could have plenty. Ill admit im watchfull of my money, but if im getting what i want from a VERY pretty girl, she CAN GET IT!! But they dont. Its stupid. I dont know what dumb ass guy started paying them for nothing but his dumb ass need to be shot.

  9. DorkyGuy says:

    First post here, and just figuring out what it’s all about, so hope I don’t step on anyone’s toes.

    In the example above, I would be absolutely appalled and horrified if I discovered that someone who was disgusted by me had sex with me anyway for the money. To me, sex means something. If you don’t like me, for God’s sake, please tell me and move on.

    On the sex issue, I am probably not your typical guy. I am looking more for a genuine emotional connection (friendship and companionship) than sex. Sure, sex would be nice, but only if the chemistry is mutual.

    When I think about what I miss most about being a single workaholic… it’s not the lack of sex. What I miss most is not having the intimacy of someone to cuddle up with on the couch with a bowl of popcorn while watching a movie. I want to do some travelling, and the idea of travelling without a companion just sucks. My only “expection” on sex is that if she just doesn’t see it ever happening, then obviously she’s not into me, so she should move on.

    Maybe I’m wrong, but I figure the “rates” SBs expect on the site reflect an expectation of sex. Since I don’t expect sex, I wonder how that would affect a SB’s expectation of support from me. Would most SB’s pass on a non-sexual relationship because they can get more money from an overtly sexual relationship? That could be an interesting conversation angle to the post topic.

    Because I’m after more of an emotional connection, maybe the relationship I’m looking for is not a SA relationship. It’s a gray area I guess. The relationship I am looking for certainly has elements of a SA relationship (discretion, beauty, flexibility around my schedule, and understanding that she’s prioritized below my work and kids), but it also has elements of a conventional relationship (genuine friendship and chemistry). Since I’m new to the site, maybe y’all could give me some feedback as to whether I’m even in the right place.


  10. Robert says:

    There are quite a few girls on this website who truly think they are worth $1,000 for an hour lunch date and lunch only. Quite a few more want an “online” sugar relationship only and want to be paid handsomely for it. I laugh at these profiles in complete disbelief. These girls are escorts, not sugar babies.

    As a Sugar Daddy let me tell me you why I am here. I can have a date every night of the week. Quite a few girls want to go out with me. I’ve had three girls propose marriage to me this year alone.

    I am on this site because I like to date beautiful, younger girls. A large percentage of our population is obese. SA.com is a website where there the vast majority of girls are cute, young and fit.

    I don’t need to pay someone to spend time with me. I would rather sit at home and do 1,000,000 other things than pay someone to spend time with me.

    Whenever I see a profile for a girl who says sex is out of the question I want to e-mail her to tell her to leave the website for being so clueless. I don’t know any Sugar Daddies desperate enough for attention that they will pay you just to have lunch with them. Good luck in finding them.

    I think this blog is a good one because it underscores the BIGGEST problem with sugar daddy dating. A lot of girls on this site are trying to get the most amount of money for the least amount of time spent and the guys are trying to get the most sex and most time for the least amount of money. These competing interests are often a recipe for disaster.

    If you go out with me you can be assured your lodging will be covered, you’ll have a car, etc. However, I expect you’d want to come stay with me for a couple weeks on a regular basis and have an amazing time with me. If you genuinely don’t feel any chemistry towards me then it obviously won’t work.

    My final comment to the girl (she’s NOT a sugar baby) who started this blog–YOU ARE AN ESCORT, NOT A SUGAR BABY. A non sexual sugar baby relationship is an oxymoron. A sugar baby knows she will be spoiled and the sugar daddy finds a girl he might not be able to find otherwise. It’s a mutually beneficial relationship. If you want to be paid to have lunch with someone go get a job at an escort agency and charge upfront by the hour.

    If you want a sugar baby relationship, then call me. I will take you to Europe this summer. I will take you to San Diego. I will give you a place to stay. You will have an amazing time. However, I expect in return you will call me and come over to get naughty with me without my even asking.

    Her post is one of the main reasons I’m considering going back to Match.com. It will take a lot longer to find what I am seeking but at least the girls actually know what they want (a real relationship) as opposed to some here who are beyond clueless about why Sugar Daddies like me try to use this site. We Daddies want to save time, but the converse often happens.

  11. thepoollady says:

    After reading several of these posts I have my .02 cents to add. I have not had a first date yet, and I am by far no expert on the subject. I do believe that 90% of SD on this site are looking for an arrangement which includes sex. I believe that this is the perfect arragement for men or women who do not want to play games, and want to be up front and honest about their needs and desires. In marriage the couples are normally negotiating “Quid Pro Quo” (something for something), this site allows the same or similar relationship to exist if one wants without marriage. Some men/women make a lot of hard earned money that they do not mind splurging on someone, but they do not want an A.N. taking it from them. Maybe, these men/women are in a sexless/loveless relationship but are in need of same. We all have our needs to be met and I believe in having an up-front conversation right off of the bat to determine what each person needs out of the relationship, and what they are willing to give up for their needs, as appropriate. This is a two-way arrangement. There are many arrangements people are seeking and money or sex may not be the answer to all. When I was self-employed there were many bartering type of arrangements that I made with my customers. It seemed to work out quite well. When I have the first date, maybe I will know more about how to get what I want and at the same time I am willing to provide the same for my SD.

  12. DD says:

    This is my first time ever trying anything like this!! so i’m kinda scared, like a whole lot. i find it hard to meet guys because they rarely come up to me i dont know its because im 5’10, LOL!!! But i really never thought about sex until i started to read the comments which i have to say freaked me out more…….

  13. Panther SD says:

    Hmm so quiet…

  14. lost without her says:

    NC Gent and Goodgirl- thank you both for your comments. NC Gent- I am afraid you are right, the first might just be as good as it gets… 🙁

  15. AusGuy says:

    Hey Everyone!
    Hope all is well and a big hello from me down here in Australia…
    Now, onto the question:
    Personally, I am yet to meet a Sugar that doesn’t want sex to be apart of the arrangement. I understand that in majority of cases, its a big factor.
    For me, I’m ok with this, but that doesn’t mean I’m simply going to sleep with you in exchange for cash. God No! There has to be some type of connection between the two, something a little bit more personal then “sleep with me and then give me money”…
    For all those Sugars who do not want sex to be apart of an arrangement, that’s fine and completely up to them. I do however think they need to be upfront about there beliefs because I would think in majority of arrangements, sex is indeed a critical factor… … …

  16. NitemareSD says:

    Switching to the new topic…

  17. NitemareSD says:

    I never pass up a recommendation.

  18. johnq says:

    DC: I think we’re in agreement.

    Nitemare: I believe I have an SB recommendation for you, if you’re interested.


  19. NitemareSD says:

    JQ: let’s assume that SF Suga correctly described her prior relationship. Assume, as she said, that she hated her SD, and that he made her physically ill, but that she pretended to like him because she needed the money. Do you consider her behavior to be acceptable?


  20. DC says:

    No JohnQ, of course I don’t think that is acceptable behavior.

    All I am saying is that I think, on some level, they both know why they are together. If she thinks he is with her for her brains and charm and not her arm candy worthiness then she is fooling herself, if he thinks she is with him because of his charming personality then he is the fool. So in a way, maybe they deserve to be together.

    I am not an advocate of anyone using another person. In my book that is beyond despicable. I wouldn’t want anyone to send time with me if they really did not want to be with me. And in that respect I have a lot of compassion for the men here and am honest with all of them. If there is no attraction or I don’t think we are compatible I am straight with them.

    I have turned down a few opportunities to have a SD recently because I did not feel any chemistry and as much as I could use the support right now, I could not live with myself knowing I was taking advantage of another human being.

  21. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I have already stated my feeling on that subject lol.

  22. johnq says:


    I have no problem with any arrangement between any two people who are being honest with each other. That includes anything from straight prostitution (not that that goes on around here, or at least so I’m told) to sexless relationships.

    So, if NYCSB’s SD wants to pay $20K for arm candy, that’s entirely his business. If she actually likes him on some level, so much the better. Even if she doesn’t like him, he’s the best judge of whether he’s getting his money’s worth.

    As long, that is, as she’s being honest with him. SF Suga was not being honest with her SD. She was lying to him. She was pretending to like him when she in fact despised him. She was taking money under false pretenses.

    Maybe I’m naive, but it seems odd that anyone could defend this behavior, other than as an unfortunate mistake on her part that she’s learned from.

    So I’ll put it directly to you, and NYC SB, and whoever else is interested in weighing in: let’s assume that SF Suga correctly described her prior relationship. Assume, as she said, that she hated her SD, and that he made her physically ill, but that she pretended to like him because she needed the money. Do you consider her behavior to be acceptable?


  23. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Shephen I only had trouble that once, then it was ok 🙂

  24. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Good evening everyone. Hope everyone had a wonderful day.

  25. katrina says:

    Hey, Everyone!

    New blog…

  26. NYC SB says:

    DC you nailed it exactly… thank you 😀

  27. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Panther! I missed you! 😀

  28. Panther SD says:

    Back for a hot second, trying to catch up on all the posts.

  29. RedMaru*210789* says:

    hey johnq 😀 How are you…hey that rhymed! hee hee

  30. DC says:

    Yes NYSB we have discussed Dent quite a bit here

    JohnQ- this particular SD could probably find a SB who would be happy to be with him even if he is not a George Clooney look a like but he chooses to be with an SB who is arm candy and can ask for 20K. Not that she is not smart and fun to be around, but she obviously won the genetic lottery and can ask for what she feels she is worth and get it.

    So in that respect I think they are a good match. Both know why they are together and it works for them

  31. NYC SB says:

    i can ask him ababy

  32. NYC SB says:

    haha the NYC DADDY they talk to… has anyone met him???

  33. Ababy80 says:

    NYCSB does he have any friends 😉 lol

  34. NY-SB says:

    delete the blanks and plug in entire url in order to see article. I had to chop it up so it actually posts.

  35. NYC SB says:

    JQ … i dont pretend to like him… i actually do… i am not attracted to him… BIG difference… either way it works for the time being

  36. NY-SB says:

    anyone see this?

    http://www.bloomberg.com /apps/ news? pid=20601039 & sid= a2MDrvOm1tdM

  37. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    I know! I just feel out of my element. I guess meeting a guy here, I feel more in control of the situation.. my city, so I know I can take off if I need to.

    I’m only going to go for a few days.. 2 or 3, just enough to get over the awkwardness — and really see if we have any chemistry in person as much as we do now. Then go home.. and decide when or if the next trip will take place. 🙂

    He seems very good about ensuring my safety and comfort level — to make sure I am not dependent on him while I am there, etc.

    I just need to breathe.. and jump in.. 🙂

  38. NYC SB says:

    scarlet just be safe thats all… and of course i hope it works out for you 😀

  39. johnq says:


    I don’t have any problem with anyone’s morality. For that matter, from the morality point of view, I don’t have a problem with prostitution.

    I do have a problem with blatant dishonesty. If what SF or you feel what you have to do to get along in life is deceive men into thinking that you like them, then I suppose that’s between you and your SDs, who sound either gullible or sad, in my opinion. But I’d far rather spend time with an honest prostitute, who’s clearly simply in it for the money, than with someone whose game plan is to extract money from me by pretending to like me. To me, that’s the definition not of a prostitute, but of a golddigger.

    You may well be correct that 90% of the women on this site wouldn’t be in the relationships they’re in without a monetary component. At least based on my experience, 90% of the women off the site won’t consider a relationship unless there’s a legitimate chance of a permanent commitment. No one enters into any relationship without giving some thought to the benefits they may derive from that relationship.

    But to get from there to sleeping with someone you are repulsed by, and deceiving him into thinking you actually like him, is an exercise in cynicism that I’m not willing to undertake. And I think (or maybe hope) it’s insulting to the other women on this site (at least the non-professionals), to claim that 90% of them would be willing to engage in a relationship with an SD whom they didn’t actually like. Maybe I’m wrong, but I hope not.

    Incidentally, I’m not really all that interested in hearing about how you actually like your SD, and he really knows you’re entirely in it for the money, so it’s OK. That’s between you and him. My main problem is with your attempt to justify relationships that are entirely based on deception, as SFSuga characterized her earlier relationships. Maybe she’s learned not to do that anymore, which is great. But that doesn’t make what she did any less wrong.

    And I’m also not all that interesting in hearing about how you or she or anyone else is only doing what they have to do to get along. Lots of people struggle to pay their bills. Relatively few of them use that as a justification to extract money from men by pretending to like them.


  40. Ababy80 says:

    scarlett – i think its because its a “bigger deal” you are making a trip somewhere to meet someone so theres a little more sense of oh i dunno… its just different! lol

  41. Ababy80 says:

    you know i’m really surprised by how wonderful everyone is here.. good energy in the blog 🙂

    DC – He told me about his career, who he works for, did a little google-ing and there he was. He has had an SB before, and the few minutes we talked he appears genuine.

    and anyone ever in sofla i can be your 911 🙂

  42. DC says:

    I grew up in NYC and yes, it’s intimidating as far as the women go.

  43. Scarlett - 213843 says:


    I know. It is. And I have never flown over an ocean before. But I have a good feeling about this guy. 🙂 I made a thread earlier asking questions for you people that seemed to go unnoticed 😛

    I wont post it again, but it was here: May 26th, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    Having a bit of a freak out myself. 🙂 For some reason I feel more apt to exercise and eat salad for the next few days than if I were to meet a SD here in my city??? LOL

  44. NYC SB says:

    Ababy… glad we got in touch… i hope you feel more at ease now 😀

  45. DC says:

    Hey Red!

    Ababy- We have discussed this before and many have mentioned just making sure to have a back up plan and meet in a safe place and let someone know where you are at all times.

    What DO you know about him? Whether he is married or not would not concern me but I would want to make sure he is legit and who he says he is. Has he given you anything to go on? Has he had a SB before?

    It wouldn’t bother me if there wasn’t that much communication before. I have met 2 men that I have only communicated with via e-mail, never on the phone before meeting. One I knew who he was and could check him out but our conversations were very limited via e-mail and the other I never saw a picture of him and had no idea who the heck he was but we chatted lots before meeting via e-mail and I had a good feeling about him. Both turned out to be gentlemen and great guys.

  46. NYC SB says:

    dear scarlet… wow london… thats quite a trip…

  47. NYC SB says:

    ababy… yes it rained haha… but when that happens i take a trip to the spa 😀 i was at coral isle which is not exactly miami but close enough

    i just emailed you

  48. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    That reminds me.. is anyone here in London? To be my “emergency” call 🙂 Likewise, im in Toronto if someone needs a friend to call and check up on them if they visit a SD here.

  49. Ababy80 says:

    and how did you get a picture on here?!

  50. Ababy80 says:

    nycsb ababy8025 at yah00. how did you like miami? i hope it didnt rain your entire trip

    scarlett – he has seen multiple of me. where are you flying to! you can always make something out of nothing even if you two dont click

  51. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Hey Ababy I was going to say the same thing NYC SB suggested so I’ll just add to let someone like a family member or a friend(if you can’t tell your family) know just to have your bases covered. Keeping fingers crossed for you!

    Best of luck on your date!

  52. Scarlett - 213843 says:


    I always ask to see a minimum of 2 pictures…if not, then no dice. Multiple pictures are best. In exchange, I usually go on webcam to show me as me. If he can go on webcam, that is better — no surprises. Surprises help nobody — only hurt. You do not want to arrive and have either one of you shocked at the result.

    When people send you a picture, they are not sending you their worst photo — they usually send their best. 🙂

    Let us know how it goes — i’d be interested to see how you handled yourself , as I am flying out to meet someone next week — and never flown over an ocean let alone took a flight to meet someone! I’m bouncing off the walls here!

  53. NYC SB says:

    I just came back from miami hmmm lets get creative over here … i will give you my yah00 does that work?

  54. Ababy80 says:

    Ny-sb lol good point ALTHOUGH ny does seem to have that “glitz” appeal that per say arizona.. might not lol

    NC Gent – yes he has called, actually it has been mostly evenings. His profile says “seperated” it doesnt bother me either way I just appreciate honesty, knowing whats going on and what im getting myself into lol as far as him being really busy.. thats what i figured….

  55. Ababy80 says:

    Thank you 🙂 how the hell do you do that without the whole SA blog getting information lol. I appreciate the “back-up” so to speak.

    He seems pretty normal, legitimate… I’m flying up tomorrow morning early, I should be in the city by 10:30am, and we are meeting for lunch then again after he gets off work. I have only seen one picture though, which is a little nerve racking but I know how to handle myself. The city doesn’t intimidate me too much, I’m from Miami originally and the mix of cultures has taught me how to retain composure…

    but im so nervous!! 🙁

  56. NY-SB says:

    Ababy80 – NY certainly a great place to visit.. simply pointing out that sugar opportunities are neither more abundant or lucrative here as opposed to say.. Arizona.

  57. NC Gent says:

    Hi Ababy80 — he is probably really busy and doesn’t really care that much about the price difference, or he wanted to make sure his plans were a little more concrete before purchasing the tickets.

    If you are uncomfortable about the lack of communication, I would send him an email and let him know you would like to talk a little more before you meet, to calm your nerves. If he is a true SD, he will oblige. If he doesn’t, I personally would not go because that is a big warning sign that he doesn’t care about your feelings.

    Regarding him being married, does he take calls past 9 pm or weekends – that is a pretty good indicator of marital status I have found, even for SBs 🙂

    Best wishes!

  58. NYC SB says:

    Ababy… your worries are not without basis… i hope it works out…. when are you going there? im willing to exchange #’s with you just in case or emails or whatever

  59. NY-SB says:

    Good 🙂

  60. Ababy80 says:

    NY-SB , now i say this with caution, but who wouldn’t want to visit the big apple?

  61. NYC SB says:

    I am positive he is not reading NY SB 😀
    I did not meet him online

  62. Ababy80 says:

    Of course I have his cell and I think we decided on the Hudson. I know what you mean NYC SB. Maybe I just need to relax

  63. NY-SB says:

    Noticing increased presence from NY. Possibly resulting from NYT article. I’ve been an occasional visitor for a few months, always forgetting my handle 🙁

    Just feel I should point out that there is nothing particularly different or more alluring about the NY “sugar market”.. the variables remain the same and it’s very much situation-specific. At least from where I stand.

  64. NYC SB says:

    Hi Ababy! Make sure you have his cell number… you dont want to be stranded at an nyc airport… have a back up place to stay in case he does not show… speaking of which… where is he putting you up? NYC hotels are expensive make sure that he has paid for it already… last thing you need is to be out $400 or more…. just my two cents

  65. NC Gent says:

    Hello all — interesting topic — I would be very bummed (aka pissed off) if my SB was being intimate with me only for the money. I guess that is the main reason I tend to go for SBs in their 30s because I think it is more likely they are actually attracted me. If I wanted someone I knew was an interested in me, there are plenty of websites to find those women who will gladly take my money 🙂

  66. NY-SB says:

    Let’s hope your SD does not read this blog 😉

  67. Ababy80 says:

    So, I just wanted to get everyone’s 2 cents on this…

    I got an email from a pot SD about arranging a meeting, he lives in NY and offered to fly me up. I agreed and sent him an itinerary….

    Now, compared to other pot SDs there has been, um, limited, communication. My gut instinct is that he is still married and hiding it, which.. whatever, to each their own. I sent him the itinerary a week ago when prices were still relatively inexpensive, and he just purchased the tickets yesterday evening (which cost him almost double). I guess I am just confused on the whole situation? We have emailed and occasionally texted, chatted the other night on the phone for 10-15 minutes. Should I be concerned with the lack of communication?

    The irony in all of this is that I’ve been looking for a SD who doesn’t expect me to be his girlfriend. To clarify – we are there for each other, friendship, mutually beneficial, etc. but not clingy, needy, la la la. I get what I ask for and I am worried?

    Just want some input… I’m nervous lol

  68. NYC SB says:

    I am 25

  69. NYC SB says:

    p.s.s. 20k a month is an INSANE amount of help… for someone who works 60 hours a week for 10% of that believe me when I tell you it makes all the difference in the world… yes money is an aphrodisiac as are the custom made shoes and suits that he gives me on top of everything else…

    i am digging myself in a deeper hole as each second passes

  70. NY-SB says:

    nyc sb – may I ask your age? a range even.

  71. NYC SB says:

    scarlet – yes zero chemistry is awful… while me and my sd have no sexual chemistry we click mentally … as in he knows a lot about the world and he mentors me in such way… makes things a bit easier… sure i would love to have a hot 30 year old that i cant get enough of which can support me the way my current SD does but i feel like I will never find such thing and if I do I would have to fight for his attention… like you said my SD doesnt get attention from attractive females and this is fulfillment of his fantasy…

    p.s. i possibly know your 60+ SD

  72. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Hey stephan! I was having issues yesterday…but I can log in now
    Hey Scarlett and DC 😀 I was starting to get lonely.

  73. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    Annddd yes… I was going to say that.

    If you are not here for an “arrangement”.. then there is seekingmillionaire.com — which is probably more to taste. More of a relationship than the expectation of a sd/sb relationship 🙂

  74. DC says:

    Like most on this blog, I could not be with a SD just for the cash. I am not looking for Mr. GQ and sometimes it takes a while for the attraction to grow, but I could never be with someone who repulsed me. Not even for 20K a month. So if someone can do that more power to them. I would much prefer to find an SD for 1-3K who I am attracted to and actually enjoy having sex with.

    Money is such an aphrodisiac I can understand the attraction. I try not to judge NYC SB either. I just find it sad that her SD has to shell out that much money for a woman to touch him

    On a lighter note…I just got an e-mail from Explorer. He doesn’t even realize that he sent me the exact e-mail a few weeks ago which I already responded to but am looking forward to responding to again LOL

  75. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    NY-SB.. i agree with what you said 🙂 Im with you on that. So just wanted to let you know.

    Everyone has their own set of morals.. There is no “book of morals” for people to compare yours to and say, “Woooo she has none!” — My frustration on here stemmed from scanning the crowd and wondering why a lot of these people are here…and not on lavalife. It’s an arrangement. As you said. And you would not be in it if you didn’t want to. And I think it is great that you are able to be with a man and make him feel good about himself in those ways — perhaps a man who has not had a relationship in a while — let alone sex — and in return? He helps a girl out financially to get ahead. There is nothing wrong with that. Adults are adults, and this is called a mutually beneficial relationship.

    I’ve been looking for years for my perfect match… I still have nothing “SOLID” — as of lately I considered the 60+ year old 10-20k allowance situation.. but I couldn’t. I need to have some chemistry there — whether he is 60 or 25 (such as my Mr.Comedy guy.. 25, good looking..but totally obnoxious!) You could not pay or… “GIFT” me enough to sit with this guy!

    As for everyone else… i’d say you should make sure your hands are 100% clean before you judge someone else and how they go about this. 🙂

    Right on the first page:

    Rich and successful. Single or married, you have no time for games. You are looking to mentor or spoil someone special – perhaps a “personal secretary”? secret lover? student? or a mistress for an extra-marital affair?

    Attractive, ambitious & young. Sugar Babes are college students, aspiring actresses or someone just starting out. You seek a generous Benefactor to pamper, mentor and take care of you – perhaps to help you financially?

  76. stephan says:

    Hi SweetRedHead! Are you still having any issues with logging in? Anyone? email * [email protected] *

    D-Dubbs – Have you ever visited our sister site, “SeekingMillionaire.com”? It’s SA without the sugar so to speak… I’m sure you could find a good catch on any site you land on however 🙂

  77. NY-SB says:

    NYC SB – “in nyc you have a better chance of hitting the lottery…” — I’m afraid that is as innacurate a statement as can be 😉

  78. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Welcome Jessica 😀

    It should(and key word is should) only take 24 hours

    but Welcome anyway

  79. Jessica says:

    I’m stuck in pending approval hell! Lucky me there is a blog

  80. NYC SB says:

    raine… i definitely respect you for it 🙂

    in all honesty i hope you find someone that is willing to be with you for the pleasure of your company… in nyc you have a better chance of hitting the lottery…

  81. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Lunch time…thought it would never come. My brain is taxed from this report and I need a distraction….bad

  82. Apple-332079 says:

    I’m sneaking in blog posting between editing and rendering video for a class. I have to head to campus in an hour and I don’t think I’ll finish in time, eek.

  83. raine says:

    Later sweetredhead, and don’t forget to not knock off the funny!lol

    Hi RedMaru.

  84. RedMaru*210789* says:

    You too sweetred 😀

  85. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Have a good day everyone, bbl tonight. I am off to work again hi ho hi ho lol

  86. RedMaru*210789* says:

    sweetred – Good “long” weekend was too short for me thanks to these reports

    Hey raine 😀

  87. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Hi raine. Now I know why some of these men actually think that they can pay us for just sex. Because some SB’s do it. But it’s not for me. I am not saying no sex but I do not want to be paid for just sex. There is a fine line here and I think that crosses it.

  88. raine says:

    Hi, all. I’m only in for a minute…

    NYC SB: ~i like his personality but the sex part not so much… so we both compromise… i pretend to like sleeping with him and he pretends i am not with him for the money~ *blank stare* your morals (or perceived lack thereof) are none of my business, but the above saddens me just the same. I’m even more determined to keep my clothes on now, so yeah… continued luck with that. 😐

  89. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    For a few minutes, then back to work, How are you today?

  90. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Hey sweetred you made it 😀

  91. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    What a crazy day at work. The phones ringing off the hook all 4 lines!! The doctors are booked. Having to tell Patients to go to the ER or walkin if they need to. And its only noon!!!

  92. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    NYC SB To each his own, not for us to judge. I just would not be able to do it myself. I don’t think it was what she said, It was how she said it that everyone got fired up.

  93. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Apple – Sneaking breaks from compiling reports….bleh trying to make my brain doesn’t shut down from monotonous boredom of entering the same information for every field…

  94. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Hi NYC SB 😀

  95. Apple-332079 says:

    Hi RedMaru! I’m up “early” to catch up on homework that I didn’t do all weekend, heh. What are you up to?

  96. NYC SB says:

    Wow … JQ I am going to defend SF for a second here… I understand completely where she is coming from… Some girls on this site are beyond hot and bring smarts to the table as well… they can pretty much have any man they want… more likely than not they have been with very attractive men in the past (who probably couldnt afford a mothly allowance)

    These women realize that they can use their gift to get ahead in life and they decide to become SB’s… most SD’s on this site are not that great looking and older (there are exceptions of course) so in order for them to land a girl who is out of their league looks wise they resort to an arrangement…

    All SF did was what she had to to make ends meet… she is in no way without morals… and she has learned from her mistakes… which is why she has now gone and gotten herself an SD who takes care of and she is into…

    Dont give the girl such grief… seriously… 90% of the girls on this site would not sleep with their SD’s unless there was a financial reward plain and simple…

    I know my SD (who is fat and 50+) would have never been able to touch me if it wasnt for the 20K per month allowance… i like his personality but the sex part not so much… so we both compromise… i pretend to like sleeping with him and he pretends i am not with him for the money

    now please feel free to tell me i have no morals… i dont care

  97. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Hi apple 😀 I think we’re the only ones here.

  98. Apple-332079 says:

    Ugh, it’s so hard to get up after a long weekend! At least it’s a short work/school week now. How is everyone this morning? 🙂

  99. RedMaru*210789* says:

    goodgirl – No prob I’ll have my poms poms ready whenever you need it 😀

  100. goodgirl*313749 says:

    thanks redmaru 🙂 you’re a terrific cheerleader!!

  101. goodgirl*313749 says:

    public service announcement: if you lighten/darken your own hair, don’t do it after a workout… it burns a little. 😉

  102. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Best of luck pink daisy…got fingers and toes crossed 😀

    goodgirl – keep thinking bikini thoughts…lol 😀

  103. Pink Daisy says:

    have a date for thursday! wish me luck sugars x

  104. goodgirl*313749 says:

    holy crap! i’m kickin my a**!!! 🙂 my daughter ate chocolate during the cardio video! lol! 🙂 she’s sweet…

  105. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Hey jai!
    You have a good day don’t work too hard and you already are the best 😀
    Remember to inhale as well as exhale…lol

  106. Jai says:

    Morning sugars! 🙂

    Thanks for the encouragement Red and gg. I think the nervous pressure I put on myself to be the BEST is finally subsiding a bit…I still want to be the best lol just trying not to stress about it so much. I have my weight training class in the morning, chem all day, then another hour of training in the evening before heading home…I’m going to miss you guys! lol

    Hope everyone has thoughtful, productive days! 😀

  107. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Morning NCGent and Pink Daisy 😀

    Pink Daisy – good for you 🙂 Keeping fingers crossed that it works

    Hey Panther! 😀 I’m okay for the most part

  108. RedMaru*210789* says:

    goodgirl – Gimme a “I” 😀

  109. Pink Daisy says:

    morning sugars! how is everyone today, talking to a pot SD so exciting!

  110. NC Gent says:

    Morning all!

    Hi Lost Without Her — I had a similar situation – I was with my SB for about 2.5 years, and then she started getting the urge to have kids and start a family (after she graduated from college at 28). We were just friends for about 1.5 years – kept in contact, etc. We are now back together as of about 2 months ago — not sure that will happen with you, but maybe she will be back. All I can say is, keep in touch, be friends, etc…. things happen for a reason I believe. I am not one to completely cut ties, so not sure what works for you. You may find someone on here, but having talked to some other SDs, the first SB always seems to be the best — maybe it is the first time excitement.

  111. Panther SD says:


    Doing great. How are you this morning?

  112. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Morning Panther!
    How are you 😀

  113. goodgirl*313749 says:

    hehehe… gimme a B!!!! 😀

  114. Panther SD says:

    Good morning all! Hopefully everyone have a good weekend?

  115. RedMaru*210789* says:

    You can do it…rah rah rah 😀

  116. goodgirl*313749 says:

    don’t know if you read my plan or not… trying to be in a bikini (comfortably) by the 4th of july. i’m reducing the amount of calories i put into my body and am working out daily.
    got the ball at a garage sale for $1. my daughter thinks it’s hers 🙂

  117. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Love your determination 😀
    I want a workout ball but for now I settle for LA Fitness whenever I can go.

  118. goodgirl*313749 says:

    i’ll be back while my daughter has breakfast…but still kinda here. it is raining, so i can’t go on the walk, but i have a workout ball, and a couple of workout videos, so i’ll do something for a half hour.. I’M DETERMINED!! 🙂

  119. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Hey goodgirl if you’re still here
    scarlett good for you glad you got rid of the jerk! Good luck on your new date send some of that magntism my way will ya….lol

  120. goodgirl*313749 says:

    hi redmaru 🙂 i think we’re the only ones here. sorry, you’ll have to read through… my yogurt is almost gone and i’ve gotta work out! 🙂

  121. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Morning sugars….how was everyone’s Memorial Day?
    So silly question 😀 what i miss?

  122. goodgirl*313749 says:

    I’m up!! 🙂 I’m so glad too, because 5 minutes after I woke up while I was outside with my puppy, the electricity went out in the neighborhood! Whew! 🙂
    lostwithouther~ it sounds like you had what I’m looking for 😉 (and i don’t ever want to get married) lol
    david~ i’m not speaking of myself cuz i am hoping to find someone who can ‘put it on me’ as well as stimulate me intelectually, but i have to ask… why do you think a girl who won’t put out is “less”? I would think it would be a good thing to find a woman that you know isn’t a ‘working girl’ or a slutbag 😉
    lisa~whats wrong with your foot?
    jai~i made asparagus last night, and thought about you 🙂 i also had top sirloin and baby potatoes… but a much smaller amount than normal, since i’m attemping to become the amazing shrinking goodgirl! lol
    BBL~~ i’m gonna get on with it!

  123. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. Getting ready to go to work soon, looking forward to getting home as my foot is killing me.

    Have a great day everyone

  124. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Good morning everyone. Fell asleep early last night and was up before my alarm WOW that ‘s a first for me. Usually I hitting snooze and getting up late lol.

    Welcome lost without her and CARTIER.Welcome back D-Dubs.

    lost without her sounds like you had a great relationship. Just take your time and you can find that again. There are some great woman on here. There are also some frauds so be careful. Being to to sugar dating I would suggest you read back on some old blogs, you will find some great information there.

    goodgirl, that’s great!! Try and get a friend to join you. Before my best friend moved we joined the gym together. When I tried to get out of going she pushed me to go and vice versa. it was a great support.
    Jai good luck in your new class! I never can get up in the morning to work out and at night I am too tired. I am getting used to my new work schedule so I should be able to start a exercise routine soon too.

    Jai good luck with your class, I know you will do amazing!

    Everyone have a wonderful day!! Need to get ready for work. maybe I will actually be early today lol. I usually get there just barely on time lol.

  125. NitemareSD says:

    And Honey, I already told you I am working on having the JAPs take care of the WASPs.

  126. NitemareSD says:

    Just remember the cosmos isn’t doing the triage.

  127. NitemareSD says:

    Villa, if you put your rollerblades on this AM, you should be able to get here by the end of the week – which is right after the hot tub is supposed to be up and running – including time to heat the fresh water.

  128. NitemareSD says:

    Oh boy, what a weekend. Thank goodness the week is starting and I can get some rest.

  129. David says:

    Sugar without sex? … the guy is either impotent or crazy … there are way too many women on this site that want sex (and have higher sex drives) than the guys… so why would any guy settle for less?

  130. Scarlett - 213843 says:

    Hi guys 🙂 How is everyone?

    John will be proud of me! Well, i’m getting bored of Mr.Comedy. He wants way more of an intimate relationship than I think I am willing to give to someone who is constantly making fun of me in a desperate attempt to ease his own self esteem issues.

    We had plans for him to come over tomorrow, which I may or may not do still (i’m kind of a play it by ear type person) but just dreading listening to him drabble on about how bad my hair is (it isnt) or how big my feet are (they arent) or how fat I am (I’m not) — because he thinks it is playful flirting and I love him more for it. Gag.

    So anyway, scarlett is moving on!
    With that being said — I did tell you guys I am on a MISSION this month — to find my perfect man. With that being said .. before you guys yell at me .. any advice for meeting someone in another country? 🙂

    Someone I have been speaking to for a while, I was supposed to go out with my girlfriend but she is away for 3 weeks — so he and I have been left alone to talk.. and decided he really likes me, and would rather drop my friend entirely (she doesn’t mind) and have me out here — and asked me what would make me feel comfortable doing that. Well, aside from verifying his identify and google-stalking him 10 times over to make sure the man is who he says he is — I know exactly who I will be with. That alone is a relief, as he was not shy or withheld any information I requested and was great about making me feel safe. So anyway, I got a hold of a friend who lives in his city — so I know someone in the area who I can run off to if anything happens.

    Aside from that, he suggested when he sends his driver to pick me up — that there will also be a piece of my allowance there so as to assure I am not “dependent” on him during my little stay — and that i have the finances to do/go where I please without having to ask him for something.

    So what else am I overlooking? I feel 100% safe with this guy, but want to have a checklist on hand just in case.. 🙂

    (And boy is it worth it, he is amazing — in many ways:)

  131. lost without her says:

    I have been with an absolutely gorgeous SB for the past four years. We were in love, had sex all the time, traveled together and were close friends. We originally met in a bar and started dating for the sex, and over the years I realized that she could use some financial help so that became a part of the relationship. As she turned 25, her hormones started churning and she had to find the guy to marry. I can’t be that guy (married). She found the right guy and our relationship came to a crashing halt. She would have wanted to try “Sugar without Sex” if I had wanted to- but I just don’t see how I could have dealt with not being intimate with her and knowing she was saving it for someone else. Now I am on SA trying to figure out what to do now…

  132. D-Dubs says:

    He was probably telling you the truth.

    I haven’t been around in a while…but, I will say this on the subject.

    There are many SD’s that are really looking for affection and intimacy as much or more than are looking for sex. To me, sex is much easier to find then affection and intimacy…but, without those two things, sex can be extremely unfulfilling.

    I think you will find another guy like him. They are out there.

    As for me, since I’ve been on the sidelines, I am in the process of deciding whether to make the plunge and rejoin the site. While I’ve had some bad experiences (some discussed in this blog), I have little regrets about the times I’ve spent with many great women I have met through this website.

    I just continually think its probably not for me.
    My friends who know of some of my encounters think I’m absolutely crazy and I should be thrilled at all the results I’ve had. Since finding this site over 3-4 years ago, I have had “been with” probably 15-20 women between the ages of 17 (she lied on her profile, there was no way to tell, long story) and 31 years old. I never once paid anyone for sex, and never will. I merely treated all to a first class time, including travel, shopping, gifts, fine dining, etc.

    The last person I met fell right into the common pattern. She was younger, gorgeous, sweet as pie, and I can’t stop thinking about her. She visited me on a business trip…made a relatively short 2-3 hour drive to my hotel (I did offer to pick her up, meet halfway, etc)…
    Well, within the first two hours of talking and drinks at my room, the clothes were off and we were having sex. After leaving for dinner, we came back, and it was on again…until the early morning hours. The next day, we had lunch and talked about all these things we wanted to do together…before suddenly…later that afternoon…she decided she wasn’t feeling well, and wanted to drive back home. She did admit she became a little uncomfortable because of how quickly things happened the night before. I haven’t seen her since, and we just barely keep in touch. I would’ve done anything for this girl, and it probably showed. I’m guessing this is why she backed away. My bad. I tried explaining…but, the more you say…the worse it gets…so, I’ve just decided to leave it go. Doesn’t stop me from thinking about her.

    So, I’m deciding this site is not for me because I’m looking for more than sex. Maybe I should be on e-harmony. Seriously. If only they had one for a guy who’s just over 40, who would prefer to date a woman in her 20’s (and vice versa). This is the best place for that I’ve found. Maybe there’s a market for one, minus all the sugar. This is not to say I’m cheap. I’ve been very generous with those I’ve connected with through this site. I think my problem is, I’m a romantic. I get my guard-up when I feel someone is with me only for money and not a mutual attraction…which has obviously happened a few times along the way.

    What’s interesting is…the longest “relationship” I had with someone from the site lasted about 6 months, and we never did become intimate. We just had a lot of fun together, and remain friends to this day. It probably makes sense.

    I guess I’m just trying to say…
    sex isn’t eveything…and, no its not the only thing either.
    There are other guys on here who are looking for a companion as much as a fling.
    but, SB”s, don’t count out things like affection, intimacy, and possibly sex…
    however, maybe make your SD “earn’ it. And, I don’t mean by making him drain his bank account. Most of you are better than that. I think you know what I mean.

  133. CARTIER says:

    wow, i’ve been waiting for this topic… Im a 22 year old virgin, alot of fun, open minded, and more so i love to spend money! a sugar daddy found me b4 i found him 3 years ago. he worked hard, he had many responsibilities and yet he took care of me and i didn’t have sex with him. i loved him, and he claim he had to leave me alone because he was falling in love with me…

    im lookin so hard for another guy like him…

  134. Jai says:

    I missed everything today 🙂 I have a feeling things will only get worse with this accelerated chem class starting tomorrow. Hope everyone is sleeping well and enjoying their evenings 😀

    Glad the bbq went well Red!

    Good to see you back DC 😉

  135. lisa says:

    I worked at target for 7 years closing shift. Horrible work because you had to pick up other’s slack, no one could go home till it was all done. I work at a supermarket now, stocking, doing truck, etc, daytime.

    I’m going to watch some tv and get ready to go to bed soon. Have a good night everyone.

  136. goodgirl*313749 says:

    I remember that. I used to work for the walmart. I 🙂 I thought about trying to find out if they’d hire me back part-time cuz I lost 40 lbs while i worked there! I was a stocker overnights for awhile in the infant department. Then afetr the split with my babys dad, I switched to day shift and they used to pull me for a few hours to help unload the trucks. lol. They would let me be in the truck so there was a lot of lifting and turning. I got pretty buff too! But, i love my job now, and will just try to get my daughter to workout with me. This is gonna be fun! 🙂
    I’m gonna go ahead and get off here so that i can get her all tucked in and maybe get a load of laundry done before my new bedtime! Goodnight! I’ll check in during my early morning coffee time tomorrow 😉

  137. lisa says:

    I have been late for work twice in the past 18 years and missed 3 days of work. I’m sickingly reliable and on time, I go to work when I’m sick because I can’t afford to lose one day and I feel guilty because in retail it just makes more work for the other employees.

  138. lisa says:

    that’s a good flexible job goodgirl. I can clock in a few minutes early and leave a few minutes early but the timeclock restricts it to less than 5 minutes. I work a 8-4 schedule which is ok as I get home at 430 so there’s still daylight to do stuff. I miss having my days free though but for safety reasons I can’t work at dark, even if it’s early.

  139. goodgirl*313749 says:

    lisa- thanks for the advice about 11. i think i’ll try to be in bed by then also!
    i used to wake up early for my last job, but i had a live in boyfriend who would help me out. since it’s just my daughter and i this will be difficult. she can sleep through anything (like her mamma!) so she woun’t be helpful with the alarm clock! my new job has no schedula as long as i am there 4 hours a day between 9am and 8pm, so i’ve been very lucky considering my sad ability to get somewhere ‘on time’! …i’m on time everywhere else, but for some bizare reason, even if i leave my house early, i always seem to run 5 minutes behind to work. 🙂

  140. lisa says:

    good girl I have to get up 4 days a week at 6 am and it’s still hard. I hadn’t gotten up early since 1986 when I worked my last day job. After that I worked afternoons and evenings, got up at 10 or 11 in the morning, and stayed up till 1 am. I was into going to be at midnight and getting up at 9 am and then when I started this job it turned out to be days only, which is good but still I have to get up at 6 am and can’t stay up much past 11 pm.

  141. goodgirl*313749 says:

    IM~ I just put “A journey…” on a sticky note and put it on my front door 😉 you’re helping already!

  142. goodgirl*313749 says:

    Lisa~ you’re very lucky 🙂 I’m keeping my fingers crossed for myself. My SD has been out of town all weekend. I hope we can get together this week.
    IM~~ THANK YOU! I might need some support! lol. My ‘change’ includes waking up at 6am, and I haven’t gotten out of bed that early in a VERY long time! I’ve planned out my whole day until after dinner, and as part of my plan I get a solitary breakfast at 6:15, with coffee and computer time before I wake my daughter for a walk around the neighborhood with our puppy Daphne 🙂

  143. Island_Muse says:

    Hi Lisa, Hi Goodgirl,

    Goodgirl~Way to go on the lifestyle change thing!! It’s only day, so? Remember, “A journey of a thousand steps begins… ;)) You can count on us for support as so many on here are working on the same issues.

    Again, congrats!

  144. lisa says:

    yes Percy’s back on mine too, don’t know what happened but he left mine for awhile

    Got another potential that just emailed me. We are probably going to talk on the phone tomorrow evening. Hoping I will be busy with potentials this week but it can go either way, sometimes you end up with 0. Gotta work the next 3 days and then I have 2 meetings friday.

  145. goodgirl*313749 says:

    Hi Lisa! ~~percy is still on my screen also

  146. lisa says:

    Good evening goodgirl

  147. goodgirl*313749 says:

    Good Evening Sugars!! 🙂
    Ok, I’m going to get a little off the current subject for a second, but I am sooo excited I can’t stand it!
    I started a diet/excercise plan today! I’m not overweight according to the height/body type charts, but haven’t been comfortable at my current size since I had my daughter 4.5 years ago. Well, I hadn’t been doing anything about it, but last week I went to lunch with my best girlfriend (who is in great shape btw) and my other friend (who is a personal trainer, and in amazing shape) and of course they had just come from the gym. Of course, I told my sister about it later and she agreed I need to tone up a little. So, I decided to do something about it. I did several hours of research online for the best (healthy) way to lose a few pounds. I’m keeping a journal of everything I put in my mouth, counting calories and excercising everyday at least 30 min. I’ve done pretty well so far! Of course it IS only day 1! lol! 🙂
    I’m not going to starve myself or anything stupid, but limiting my portion size and snacking healthier… getting off my butt for awhile during the day should help too!
    I don’t really want to tell any of my friends or family, just in case I get lazy, or take too long. That way I’ll be able to show up at the 4th of July party at my parents house and suprise everyone when I actually join them in the pool this year! LMAO 🙂 🙂 🙂

  148. kraazeewmnflash says:

    DC Says, Swettredhead Thanks for the late add’s….. Everyone has helped so much….. thanks

  149. SouthernGent2 says:

    Paige – personally i feel you should never write the first message. You can certainly look at profiles, as premium members will notice that you have looked at their profile. Let the men come to you with the messages. Just sit back and be patient.

  150. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Right back at you katrina 🙂 Ok now I really have to go lol

  151. katrina says:

    sweetred – you have mail 🙂

  152. katrina says:

    my profile is 333528

  153. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I need to go get some thing done I will bbl if I can.

  154. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    email is sweetredhead5253 and I am on yahoo

  155. Pink Daisy - 336652 says:

    katrina whats your profile no!?

  156. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Katrina I have his profile number if you would like it 🙂 just email me.

  157. katrina says:

    PinkDaisy – I think I am in the same boat as you as I do not want annyone to know I’m on SA. I just titled my profile, “photo available on request.’ I have had tons of emails so I guess it hasn’t deterred anyone. 🙂

  158. katrina says:

    Hello, Everyone!

    Bruce – what is your profile #?

  159. Pink Daisy - 336652 says:

    Thanks for the advice, have just sent my first message so fingers crossed! Can’t really do much about the blurred face situation.. really don’t need anyone recognizing me :\ do you think it would scare off potential SDs? Im happy to send a photo – but don’t really want it sitting on the net for everyone to see! x

  160. DC says:

    Pink Daisy- I agree, the blurred face photo looks….well just plain weird :0

    If you need to be discreet say you will send photos or post a photo from far away.

    If I write someone first I try to reference some of his interests or things we have in common. Make sure to personalize it a bit. And these days I make sure to ask if they have ever had a SB before. Find out what their experience was like.

    Keep it light and friendly, don’t reveal too much.

  161. Gypsyeyes says:

    Angela…thank you for that!

  162. lisa says:

    sorry Angela but I have never enjoyed being around anyone drunk, it just seems to make people do stupid and dangerous things. My dad was an angel but when he drank, he was a devil, thus the alcohol did it. It just makes people do stupid things hurting others, putting themselves at risk, etc

    I’ve got to shut this computer down so I can hook my internet up to my laptop and update my virus protection and windows updates as I haven’t don’t it in a long while. Be back later

  163. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    ughhhhhhhhhhh you are faceless Pink Daisy – that is a bit scary!!

  164. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Pink Daisy read his profile and respond to some of the things he has stated in there. tell him a little about you and what you are looking for. Maybe give a contact email or messenger address to contact you off the site.

  165. Pink Daisy - 336652 says:

    good evening sugars! how are we all today? Am trying to compose my 1st message.. photos finally approved.. hurrah! I really don’t know how to start.. What kinds of things do you tend to write when first contacting someone? x

  166. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Bruce Welcome to the blog. If you read back on this blog you will see that most of us agree with you.

  167. Angela300373 says:

    Being “a drunk” and being abusive are 2 separate issues. Your dad may have been both that doesn’t mean they go hand in hand. Some drunks never hurt anyone and some sober people are violent.

    -If you don’t know where you are going…..why does it matter which way you go?-

  168. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    johnq I like the way you think things through. Your advice is well thought out and usually right on. I know I appreciate your efforts to help fellow sugars 🙂

  169. Bruce says:

    Sugarless Sugar Baby, makes no sense to me at all. As SD I’m on this site to save time, which is the most precious commodity I have. For me its all about time. I’m a real Sugar Daddy looking for a real Sugar Baby. As shocking as this may seem to some if there isn’t chemistry I’m not interested in sleeping with you. If your a true SD getting laid is not a problem. If I’m at a club I get hit on because I’m perceived to have money. There is no way to discern who likes you as a person or simply likes what you have. It’s much simpler and far more honest to find a SB you really like, can develop a friendship with and understand the arrangement. SD are looking for someone we’re proud to be with, call it arm candy if you want but looks only carry you so far. I personally need someone who can carry on a conversation, has independence. You must have mutual respect for each other and be able separate the Sugar lifestyle from the rest of yours and their life.

    In my opinion, if your a sugarless SB you don’t belong on this site. You need to go to dating sites and sort thru till you find someone you like and hope they have the where with all to take care of you. If your sugarless what do you bring to the arrangement?
    My profile is straight forward: I’m Seeking: Sugar Baby (Female)
    My Budget Open – Amount Negotiable
    Description: I’m a highly successful businessman without a lot of free time. I don’t have time for drama or bs, that’s why I’m on this site. I’m looking for a sugar baby only. I’m hard charging, generous and I party hard. Sorry if I seem to direct for you…but I want to be totally honest…not waste yours or my time. If you want to travel with lots of wild adult play I’m some one you want to know.

    I’m looking for a hot piece…of arm candy. Must be discreet and sophisticated. Lots of travel and partying. No baggage. This is for real, if you are hit me up.

  170. lisa says:

    maybe you need to slow down, you’re posting too fast, lol

  171. Paige says:

    Thanks =]

  172. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Ok that one went through. why are my other 2 posts not being posted.

  173. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I guess I will go get some thing done, sence I can not post on the blog now 🙁

  174. lisa says:

    now he’s dancing around a new plastic tumbler I got at the supermarket
    what a weirdo he is

  175. johnq says:


    I’m sometimes a writer, and right now I’m trying to avoid writing something that I know is going to require a lot of hard work; thus the lengthy posts on various subjects of little or no relevance to the blog.


  176. lisa says:

    you might say he’s having phone sex, lol

  177. lisa says:

    percy is trying to hump my phone now

  178. lisa says:

    I have no use for drunks as I think they act like idiots, a policeman was almost killed a few days ago by being hit by 2 drunk drivers. I will have one drink occasionally and don’t drive, if I go out with a guy and find him to be a heavy drinker, well I’ll dump him as I’m not impressed

  179. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Well Bob was funny the other night. I understand what you are saying though. I personally do not drink or very rarely. And I am not one to get drunk.

  180. lisa says:

    odd Is Percy still showing? I see my other picture, how odd. Is this site playing games with us again? lol
    go to gravator, if you forgot your log in you can have them send it to you as I had to do that as I always forget my passwords

  181. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Lisa, I see Percy, not a picture of you? I want to change my picture but I forgot how 🙁

  182. lisa says:

    my dad was one and beat the hell out of my mom, drunks are not cute

  183. lisa says:

    Drunk, I hate drunks

  184. lisa says:

    Hi Angela maybe I will buy it whenever I get some more allowance.

  185. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Where is Jai and bob today. Last time I talked to Bob he is drunk lol. He has the cutest tx accent 🙂

  186. Angela300373 says:

    I read the book! It was very helpful although I wish I had it before I started my search as It is designed to help you “set up” your profile and such…..
    I ended up giving it to one of my dates (he was new to the site and unsure of how to do this) and never got it back…….(he decided sugar wasn’t for him)
    I didn’t really pursue it since he had my $20 book and I had his $500 gift. I figured I could buy another one if I wanted but didn’t really need to since I read the entire book in one day…..(THAT’S HOW GOOD IT IS)


  187. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    It is HOT today. My pool is looking really inviting, But afraid I will look like a lobster tommarow, I am out of sun lotion 🙁

  188. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Sugar land is really intense today lol. johnq philosophy blog is the way it’s going lol

  189. lisa says:

    oh I thought you were like me and got sweaty from the hot weather, lol

  190. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Oops. nope just tired and making typo’s lmao

  191. lisa says:

    Paige you will receive more emails when you first join than when you have been on awhile. It seems overwhelming but you have to consider that most messages will turn out to by junk (either the guy is a non paying member, contacts anyone on the site, or is playing) so you have to look at each one and give any that are reasonable a chance as you usually have to talk to several time wasters before you find someone that actually wants to meet. I have found that I will go days without messages and then I will get 3 or 4 in the same day.

  192. Swettredhead*269443* says:

    Paige It’s not the number of emails that matter. It’s the quality. As we have said you really do need to be careful of the fakes and frauds out there.

  193. Jessica says:

    So whoa, how’s sugarland today? I’ve had an amazing day : mock trial and a warm, chewy brownie.

    Just perfect!

  194. Swettredhead*269443* says:

    wow johnq. Very well put. Are you a writer?

  195. lisa says:

    Swettredhead, did you change your name or is is a glitz in system as my avator just changed back without me doing anything. I went to gravator and the only avator is shows is Percy but for some reason my pic on this blog is the one of me

  196. Paige says:

    Well, this seems irrelevant and out of place considering the heavy posts above, but what has everyone found to be a typical number of e-mails for the first month or so? I’ve noticed people comparing numbers of messages they’ve recieved and I’m wondering what’s normal, if there is a normal at all.

  197. Swettredhead*269443* says:

    How is everyone day. Just finished cleaning up after the BBQ I had. It went really well. Everyone had a great time 🙂

  198. lisa says:

    Hi DC

    I’m relaxing now. Went and did laundry this morning and spend time with family. They came over and we walked to the store and spent a few hours together. It was a little hot walking home so i’m exhausted.
    Have a couple potential dates this friday.

  199. Swettredhead*269443* says:

    kraazeewmnflash I am a BBW 180lbs It may limit some of the Sd’s but that is their issues not mine. I am a caring, confident and well balanced and positive person. I am in the process of losing the weight but not for any Sd or man, but for myself. I am beautiful inside and out and my weight is just the shell I live in, it does not define me. I am losing weight for my health not because I have a poor self image. I am a beautiful person no matter what my weight is 🙂 It does not matter if you are thin or a few extra pounds, what matters is the person you are. If you feel you are beautiful YOU ARE! It’s all about what you portray to the world. If you focus on your weight others will too.

  200. DC says:

    Hi Lisa, Hi Raine!

    How is everyone’s day going?

    I had a party yesterday at my place for a friend and I’m just beat today so sticking around the house.

  201. johnq says:


    “They have obvious meaning if one believes that we are all connected…. energetically, spiritually, in realms which we do not yet have the intelligence or capacity to understand. If you view time and space as being infinite, without a beginning or an end, as opposed to linear, with stops and starts, beginnings and endings, “time” and “place”…. then it makes perfect sense. But another philosophical discussion altogether.”

    I’m not sure this explanation adds anything to the original concept.

    Beyond, that, it seems to me that any concept that “we do not yet have the intelligence or capacity to understand” is by definition non-rational. The vast majority of human beings, through the entirety of history, and probably pre-history as well, have believed that human beings have some kind of intrinsic value or worth, and that this value or worth is assigned not by the individual himself or herself, or by other human beings, but by some attribute of the universe, whether styled “God” or infinite time and space, or whatever. Christians, for example, believe that a monotheistic supreme being has provided a soul to every human being.

    There is no evidence for any of this, unless you believe that most people wishing it were so in fact makes it so. To the best of my knowledge, organized religions get around this by requiring belief as a matter of faith. Faith, as I understand the concept, exists outside of rational thought. A belief premised on faith is impervious to rational dispute, since reason has nothing to do with it. Such a belief can neither be proven nor disproven, and attempts to do so are more or less pointless.

    Oddly enough, though I have little or no faith, I have great respect for those whose beliefs rests on faith. That doesn’t mean I’m inclined to conclude that those beliefs are “true,” in that they reflect some actual state of the real universe. Instead, truth or falsity of the beliefs in any absolute sense is irrelevant. The beliefs provide an organizing principle for people’s lives, and interfering with those beliefs on the grounds that they aren’t “true,” seems reckless and somewhat cruel. That, as Laplace allegedly told Napoleon, “I have no need for that conjecture,” does not mean that I require other people to view the universe the same way I do, nor even that I care very much if they don’t.

    If you wish to believe that everything in the universe is interconnected in some way, and that that this interconnectedness serves to give “worth” to human beings, I have no problem with that (though I continue to believe that you’ve trivialized the term “worth” to the point that it no longer has any actual meaning). This is, however, a matter of faith on your part, defined (by me) as something you believe not because there is any evidence for it but because you feel strongly that the universe must be organized that way. References to the infinity of time and space (assuming those concepts have any meaning) seem to me to just be handwaving in an attempt to provide some rational cover for a faith-based view of the universe.

    It’s possible, of course that time and space have some explanatory value here, but in my opinion once you move from a non-rational faith-based approach, to attempting to justifying these beliefs rationally, sooner or later you’re either going to have to return to faith or give up the beliefs. Attempting to justify faith in light of reason is just as hopeless as attempting to justify reason in light of faith. That doesn’t mean it isn’t attempted on a regular basis; just that the attempts are by definition doomed to failure.


    PS: This discussion is both off-topic and a little heavy for this forum. I’d be happy to take it up off-line if you’d prefer.

  202. Gypsyeyes says:

    Hi everyone….has anyone bought the book advertised on the site? “Seeking Arrangement” guide?

  203. lisa says:

    Hi DC, Hi Raine

    Well I’ve always been slim, bigger than I used to be but 5’1″ and 105 lbs and it has not made it any easier for me to find a sd. so being slim doesn’t solve all life’s problems.

    Hope everyone is having a great day. Had a nice visit with family, a little short (3 hours) but it’s nice to come home and relax.

  204. raine says:

    Hi, DC. Everything good on your end?

    ^Also, here’s your co-sign. 😀

  205. raine says:

    Hi, all. Funny, I didn’t expect anyone to stop in today, lol…

    Kraazeewmnflash: I co-sign with the previous comments, especially with JaneDoe’s. As a fellow bbw/thick/plump/plain ole plus-size (aw, pick one) SB, I must also recommend that you look 20k-leagues-under-the-sea (no, haven’t read the book yet) deep inside yourself and constantly reiterate your positives: anything short of that is self-sabotage. We’re help to help of course, but when the smoke clears, it’s all about the self-confidence. look at me, or better yet, this topic: I have the nerve to proclaim I ain’t putting out—Oh, the horror, right!? Nah, we got this in the (hand)bag.

    **update: I read your follow-up comments and got caught up on everyone else’s, but the above statements still stand.**

  206. DC says:


    If I may put in my two cents.

    It’s taken me a while to realize this but not all men like model thin women. However most women believe this because it’s been drilled into our heads thanks to Madison Avenue. A good percentage appreciate a woman with some meat on her bones. My ex was always trying to get me to put on a few pounds and I always thought I needed to lose a few.

    I agree that men really find it uncomfortable listening to us b*tch about our body issues. They don’t know what to say. If they say they like us as is we think they are lying. If we ask for the truth we think they are cruel. They can’t win.

    If you have body issues it’s best to keep them to yourself and deal with them. It sounds like you are already doing that. It seems your pot SD obviously likes you as is. He would not want to spend time with you if he didn’t. The sexiest thing a woman can show is self confidence~ men love that. Remember, these SDs are just people. They may have accumulated a lot of wealth but they are human like all of us. None of them are perfect either and many of them have self esteem issues themselves I have found, some more obvious than others.

    I have days where I am not feeling my best and it shows on my face and in my attitude. I have tried, on those days, to exude self confidence anyway and it makes all the difference in the world! It’s just about choosing one or the other because confidence starts in your mind and radiates outward.

    Give that a try and good luck!

  207. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    And with that, I must depart.

    Enjoy the day everyone! x

  208. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    “Given that you’re a semanticist, perhaps I could trouble you to explain “self-worth” in the passage you posted. As best I can tell, it’s defined as an inexplicable and irreducible attribute that necessarily and equally attaches to every human being and somehow derives from a mystical connection between each human and the cosmos. It has nothing to do with the qualities of a person, and can neither be diminished nor increased. The worth of every person is exactly the same.”

    As best I can tell, that is exactly correct. Without extrapolating on the myriad of thought processes surrounding discussions and beliefs concerning humanity and its’ relation and place in the cosmos, it seems that the resounding commonality is just what you said, “The worth of every person is the same”. Inherently, in absolute terms, why would one “person’s” worth be greater or lesser than another’s? The “cosmos” does not have the capability to distinguish or place a relative worth on someone… that is a construct of humanity, seemingly necessary for instinctively we have a need to indulge in comparative behaviours.

    “I’m not sure what this attribute should be called, but “worth” seems completely wrong here. “Worth” is necessarily comparative. You cannot speak of the worth of something unless it is possible for that thing to have greater or lesser worth than something else. At least not using any definition of “worth” that I’m familiar with. “Worth” can, for example, mean “excellence,” but “excellence” is meaningless except in a comparative sense.”

    One of the definitions of WORTH is this: The quality that renders something desirable, useful, or valuable.

    I disagree…. “worth” is not necessarily comparative. One can speak of “worth” in absolute terms, including, but not limited to, terms of “value”. What is one’s “inherent” value, or worth, as a human being? Does it depend on the parents to whom someone is born? The race which one is given? The material goods which one possesses? NO. Those are societal criteria established by human beings, and thus, examples of RELATIVE “worth”.

    “It’s also worth noting that basing the concept on “eternal and infinite oneness with the universe” seems problematic, since those words sound soothing but don’t have any obvious meaning.”

    They have obvious meaning if one believes that we are all connected…. energetically, spiritually, in realms which we do

    not yet have the intelligence or capacity to understand. If you view time and space as being infinite, without a beginning or an end, as opposed to linear, with stops and starts, beginnings and endings, “time” and “place”…. then it makes perfect sense. But another philosophical discussion altogether.

  209. lisa says:

    Hi everyone Hey what happened to Percy? I’m back on my avator…odd

    Just got back from spending time with family. Had a nice visit with them, shorter than I thought but my daughter was feeling sick so we went our separate ways from the store. It’s sooo hot out today. Just downed one soda, starting on another.

  210. Scully says:

    Sounds like we have that settled, nexxxxxxxxxxxxxt? Ok, I’m a little giggly, I just dropped the kids off to a movie and have some time by myself. (Deep breath, letting it out slooooooooooooooooooowly).

    Catch you all in a bit;)


  211. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Thanks Stormcat – I did not mean to post it and attribute it as my own discourse…. it comes from a website called dailyom. I receive an email from them each day, this one on the 22nd. It seemed appropriate to post, in light of some of the above comments.

    JohnQ – I’m writing my response to you.

  212. kraazeewmnflash says:

    hanks to all who took the time to put your thoughts on here in response to my dilemma.

    I just want to state that I understand why somebody would want to be with me, as a person. I’m quite a gal. And have many good qualities. So, why they like Me… I totally get…..

    Scully, what you said is helpful… “can tell you not all guys are into women without weight issues! Woman, just take a deep breath and let it flow”

    VillaCypris: “perhaps this man is one of the rare individuals in the world who finds the “packaging” transparent and can discern the true worth of a person, which resides INSIDE.
    There is a difference between “self-worth” and “self-esteem”… one is the very essence of who you are, and you should always cherish that and protect it; the other, can be dependent upon outside influences,
    ….. as well as the Read that you posted… i will be rereading that as well.

    JaneDOE…Thanks for sharing ….

    JohnQ: “…If you believe that no one could be interested in you because of your body type, then you need to either address the weight issue or get into therapy.” as i stated in my first post, I have already begun to address it.. and have lost one size… and he knows that I am actively working on it……For what it’s worth, if this SD sticks around, then obviously he’s willing to accept you. So far, that looks positive.

    So, I will relax into the fact he is still there and pursuing, and I am changing what I don’t like and what more can I do….. and enjoy.

    if I never saw the sunshine, maybe I wouldn’t mind the rain.

  213. Stormcat says:

    VC : that enlitened dialog on self worth is a beautiful discourse worthy of publication. I do disagree with one thing, I believe that your self worth can be consciosly enlarged as you strive to move toward improveing your mind, body, spirit, intelligence, character, etc.

  214. aj says:

    Well…I just tried to post a couple of times and got the speed typing warning…Hmmm…
    Oh well! I’m going out for a while to enjoy the day!

  215. Apple-332079 says:

    Morning ya’ll! Happy Memorial Day to everybody 🙂 I’m about to leave for Disneyland with some friends, I’ll catch you all later.

  216. johnq says:


    Given that you’re a semanticist, perhaps I could trouble you to explain “self-worth” in the passage you posted. As best I can tell, it’s defined as an inexplicable and irreducible attribute that necessarily and equally attaches to every human being and somehow derives from a mystical connection between each human and the cosmos. It has nothing to do with the qualities of a person, and can neither be diminished nor increased. The worth of every person is exactly the same.

    I’m not sure what this attribute should be called, but “worth” seems completely wrong here. “Worth” is necessarily comparative. You cannot speak of the worth of something unless it is possible for that thing to have greater or lesser worth than something else. At least not using any definition of “worth” that I’m familiar with. “Worth” can, for example, mean “excellence,” but “excellence” is meaningless except in a comparative sense.

    It’s also worth noting that basing the concept on “eternal and infinite oneness with the universe” seems problematic, since those words sound soothing but don’t have any obvious meaning.

    I would ordinarily have more or less skipped over the passage, assuming that it was intended to give comfort, and whether or not it makes sense is beside the point. However, given your earlier insistence on precision of language, I’m interested to see your take on this.


  217. aj says:

    Good afternoon everyone! I need to catch up here…

  218. JaneDoe says:

    kraazeewmnflash: While I don’t post on the blog very much (more of an observer) I felt compelled to answer your questions.

    I am a BBW SB and let me tell you that there are men out there that either a.) like bigger curvier girls or b.) don’t seem to care all that much about your weight. My SD sought me out specifically because he likes my body type. But I don’t have self-esteem issues with my weight or self-worth. I am who I am and I love my body regardless.

    I agree with VillaCypris that it sounds like you may have self-worth issues as well as self-esteem issues. And I agree with JQ with his suggestion of therapy, because your hangs up about your body and your worth could very well end up causing your potential SD to decide that he doesn’t like you and it could be entirely unrelated to your body weight. In my experience, men like women with confidence, or women who can fake it very well. And from the sounds of it… he seems to actually like your body. So I suggest faking it until it becomes true for you.

    I know it seems to impossible to learn to love your body regardless of it’s weight or size, but it is possible. It just takes time and learning.

  219. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Kraazee I have to agree with johnq on this one. It sounds to me like you may have some underlying self esteem issues that will not be fixed with a SD saying how much he adores you. Before you can have someone accept you, you must accept yourself.

  220. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hi goodgirl – glad to hear that! It’s a good thing to keep in mind… regardless of life’s circumstances. 🙂

  221. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    SG2 yes of course, I’m always being careful. 😉 And like you said there are creeps to be found everywhere, even on SA.

    And once again I get the type slow message…

  222. goodgirl*313749 says:

    whoops! got ‘submit’ happy… villa~ you made me feel better, and i didn’t relize that i needed a boost! 😉 thanks

  223. goodgirl*313749 says:

    JQ~ as usuall, i agree with you 🙂
    How is everyone today?

  224. johnq says:

    Silly: sorry, but I don’t much like either of the pictures. The head shot is cut off at the mouth, so it’s difficult to get much sense of what you look like. The other shot is blurry and you’re slouching and it’s not sexy at all.

    kraazeewmnflash: not sure what you’re looking for. You posted a profile on this site, hoping to get someone to respond. Someone did respond, and met you and wants to see you again. And it doesn’t sound as if there was any weirdness involved. If you believe that no one could be interested in you because of your body type, then you need to either address the weight issue or get into therapy. SD dating (or any other kind of dating) probably isn’t going to work out for you until you accomplish one of those two. If, on the other hand, you believe that there’s someone out there who could appreciate you despite the weight, then this guy may be it, so you should be happy.

    I kind of doubt that getting positive reinforcement from people on this blog is going to help you very much, since you’re apparently unwilling to accept positive reinforcement from the SD, who’s the only person who should really count here.

    For what it’s worth, if this SD sticks around, then obviously he’s willing to accept you. So far, that looks positive. Your main issue right now is not with him or his likes or dislikes but with your own self-image.


  225. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    –perhaps this will help you–

    May 22, 2009
    An Unwavering Connection to the Infinite
    Though much of who and what we are changes as we journey through life, our inherent worth remains constant. While the term self-worth is often used interchangeably with self-esteem, the two qualities are inherently different. Self-esteem is the measure of how you feel about yourself at a given moment in time. Your worth, however, is not a product of your intelligence, your talent, your looks, your good works, or how much you have accomplished. Rather it is immeasurable and unchanging manifestation of your eternal and infinite oneness with the universe. It represents the cornerstone of the dual foundations of optimism and self-belief. Your worth cannot be taken from you or damaged by life�s rigors, yet it can easily be forgotten or even actively ignored. By regularly acknowledging your self-worth, you can ensure that you never forget what an important, beloved, and special part of the universe you are.

    You are born worthy�your worth is intertwined with your very being. Your concept of your own self-worth is thus reinforced by your actions. Each time you endeavor to appreciate yourself, treat yourself kindly, define your personal boundaries, be proactive in seeing that your needs are met, and broaden your horizons, you express your recognition of your innate value. During those periods when you have lost sight of your worth, you will likely feel mired in depression, insecurity, and a lack of confidence. You�ll pursue a counterfeit worth based on judgment rather than the beauty that resides within. When you feel worthy, however, you will accept yourself without hesitation. It is your worth as an individual who is simultaneously interconnected with all living beings that allows you to be happy, confident, and motivated. Because your conception of your worth is not based on the fulfillment of expectations, you�ll see your mistakes and failures as just another part of life�s journey.

  226. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    kraazeewmnflash –

    perhaps this man is one of the rare individuals in the world who finds the “packaging” transparent and can discern the true worth of a person, which resides INSIDE.

    There is a difference between “self-worth” and “self-esteem”… one is the very essence of who you are, and you should always cherish that and protect it; the other, can be dependent upon outside influences, feedback, etc, if you allow it to be.

    If you’re genuinely asking why someone would find you desirable, then you most likely have lost touch with your “self-worth”. You need to find that again.

    Sit down and start writing out a list of all the positive attributes you have…. that will be a good start.

  227. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    JohnQ – of course I do. Elementary, my dear.

  228. Scully says:


    I can tell you not all guys are into women without weight issues! Woman, just take a deep breath and let it flow…..sheesh, what a neat problem to have…..a SD who digs you…..:P

    I’ve had a previous experience with a SD and wasn’t impressed. I don’t have a weight issue now, but have had previously and have dated a couple younger guys and have asked that same question. Both their answers were the same, they wanted a women “who had lived and wasn’t fake”. I couldn’t get into my being older and let both guys down with as much ease as I could. I personally like older guys and see the guys point, if they are serious, then they know what they want and look for it in an older person regardless of physical issues. Physical appearance can change, rarely can a person change what’s inside…..Just my two cents.

    So, just go have fun and see where it leads!


  229. kraazeewmnflash says:

    Thanks for your opinion….
    …..is it possible for somebody to not have that bother them…. (since they know I am actively resolving the issue)


  230. Silly says:

    good morning all ! well my profile is approved, again ( sorry Sweetred 😛 )
    can you take a look at the pics ? is that better John Q ?#330786
    although the way the two pics are put together it’s almost confusing

    yes, i’m getting the darn speeding thing on here too !!!

  231. johnq says:


    Yeah, that was a great movie. Not necessarily a good move, but definitely great. If you understand the distinction.

    Kraazeewmnflash: sounds to me as if you’ve got issues that probably can’t be processed by getting positive feedback from anonymous blog posters. If you can get into therapy, that might be advisable. That’s not an insult, incidentally. You seem to have serious self-esteem issues, and I suspect that unless you figure out some way to deal with those you’re going to end up sabotaging what looks like it could be a pretty good relationship.


  232. Trinity 328103 says:


    I have been reading for a while but finally have the nerve to post! I have been on this site for just little while and am wondering about when a SD has under his last log in N/A Blocked by Member? Also, I figured out that the orange profiles are actual members so does that mean anyone that is blue cannot respond? Sorry, if this is repetitive since I can’t seem to find the answers I seek on the website. I also am on a different site as well and have some prospects. Haven’t run into to many weirdos except for those that just want to collect pictures or have cybersex.


  233. SouthernGent2 says:

    GND – none of my business, but I sure would be careful of chat rooms. Then again, there are some real creeps to be found on most any site.

  234. kraazeewmnflash says:

    OOPS… hello everybody… sorry for being so rude as to not post a greeting.

  235. kraazeewmnflash says:

    I understand this is NOT exactly the topic of discussion…

    Ok.. first time with the SD, experience. I met him a week ago, and we have corresponded since, dinner this week and a gift is coming for me.
    Now, I was upfront with him and told him i was curvy and overweight at the time… but was in the process of losing it.. ( not talking 15 lbs either… more ). Weight gain due to meds and emotional issues piling up for 8 years, last year took me to the edge…… ok… having said this. It seems like he digs me regardless… and I him. He is totally in shape, and a few years younger than I. Help me process him still wanting to be with me —( no sex yet )… and my current body issues. ( about 40 lbs on a 5″10 woman)… so i hate my hips down — majorly issues at this time. I can be extremely self conscious about it.. why would he want to continue… and in a major way… everything taken care of… self doubt can take over… why would he want to be withe me, when there are SOOOOO many others without the weight problem ( at this time)..

  236. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Hey everyone, looks like I have two potential SDs haha. Both found via a chat room, how interesting…

  237. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    I love Wagner, especially the Ride of the Valkyries…. that’s probably why I like it so much… not to mention it’s a cinematic masterpiece!

  238. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hi JohnQ –

    Your comment yesterday: “I love semantics in the morning. Very sexy.”

    Reminds me of Kilgore in Apocalypse Now …. “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”

    what a great movie!

  239. johnq says:

    One more thing: in the Trusted sites window you have to make sure the “Require a server verification” box is unchecked.


  240. johnq says:


    Your browser is set up to block cookies. Are you using Internet Explorer? If so, click Start, double-click Internet Options and click the Security tab. Select the trusted sites icon. Click the Sites button. Type the SA login address into the “Add this website to the zone” box and click add.

    That should probably do it, though it’s impossible to know for sure without knowing more about the security settings you have set up.

    Note: you need the exact and complete login address. Your best bet is to go to the login page (not the error message page you’re getting), select the entire address in the address box, copy it, and then paste it in the Add the website to this zone box.

    Let me know if this works. If not you may need to reset some of your security settings.


  241. Scully says:

    Hey Happy Memorial Day everyone!

    I tried to post a more personal message with names on it……..I uhh apparently am posting too fast?


  242. Jai says:

    Lol 🙂 I wish I could go..and I think we are all speed posters.

  243. Scully says:

    Ok, I give up on the house cleaning, it’s a never ending task!!!

    I actually logged back in and got an email :D. Ok, so don’t make fun of me if I get excited. I’ve only had about 5 total emails. And most of those, well let’s just say not good. He seems nice and very sweet. Do the profile number show that you’ve been on here awhile? His number starts with the number 1. Yes, I’m a little geeky about that sort of thing. It makes me wonder how long he’s been on the site, if he’s having issues like everyone else with finding someone or if he’s a player. Am I paranoid to be like this?


  244. goodgirl*313749 says:

    happy memorial day everybody! 🙂 no sugar for me today either. 🙁 i hope i can see my sd this week!

  245. lisa says:

    Good morning Gail, Jai I need to slow down, i’m posting too fast

  246. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Everytime I see your name on here, Jai…. I think of Miraval…. good association! 🙂

  247. Jai says:

    Back at you Villa 🙂

  248. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hey Scully, Gail and Jai! Happy Memorial day !

  249. Jai says:

    Morning everyone 🙂 How are you all doing today?

    Feeling any better Red?

  250. Gail says:

    Morning Sugars : )

    John Q-This is the message:

    Login Failed
    You are unable to access this area of the website because you are not logged in or your login has failed. Please try to log into your account again: LOGIN NOW
    Reasons for Error
    You may have reached this error page because of the following reasons:
    1. You were trying to access a restricted area of the website.
    2. You have not logged on.
    3. Your browser does not accept cookies.
    In order to login and use our website, your browser must be configured to accept cookies. For Internet Explorer, you may do so by going to: TOOLS -> INTERNET OPTIONS -> PRIVACY.
    Set your browser to allow cookies, then close and restart your browser, and try to login again.

    I know that I am using the correct login and password. And I did everything above. But it’s still not working. Oh well….maybe I will find my SD on the blog : )

  251. Scully says:

    Afternoon All!

    Hope the weekend treated you all well. Someone can take the rain back that they sent to MO!!!!

    How’s Sugarland doing? I’ve been cleaning house all weekend preping for kids to do summer visitation, hopefully I will at least get a date before they get back!

    I suppose I should get back to cleaning :S


  252. lisa says:

    yes free food samples, not sb samples, lol They also have samples of gourmet coffee. The sampling had stopped because of the swine flu scare but I think everyone this back to normal now as the store that I work at has been putting it’s samples out again.

  253. lisa says:

    good morning gurlnextdoor are you proceeded forward in seach of a new sd or have you found one? I have’t heard from my sd or my potentails today but it’s a holiday so I don’t expect too. Have only one potental set for friday and the second one that wrote had contacted me when I first joined and then vanished, only to pop up when I unhid my profile. So he’s probably flaky.

  254. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Sounds like a fun day! Yea, I was reading about your Friday… will be exciting!

    Gurlnextdoor…. don’t worry… no ‘sweatshop’ conditions under my watch… unless it is for us to indulge in some bikram yoga !!

  255. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Good luck lisa with your sugar dates later this week… and have fun at the market. Free food samples are always great! One of the few situations in which it is good to try before you buy (note: usually not a good idea in sugar dating) 🙂

  256. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Yes sweetred, very weird indeed. But hey, if he wants a SB then I’ll give it a go with him, lol. 😉

    NM I’m afraid to go to any parties you may be hosting. This scenario is starting to sound very Hansel and Gretal like. Everything seems normal and wonderful on the outside until you enter the residence only to be greeted with a situation akin to that of a sweatshop. Lol, just kidding with you.

  257. lisa says:

    I just finished doing laundry. So glad they opened a big washateria across the street from me, it’s a 2 minute walk. Used to have to walk 4 blocks. Now i’m waiting for my family to come over in a while and then we are walking down to the Central market that is a few blocks from me. It’s a big Heb grocery store that has sampling, all kinds of foods, and it’s huge but not boxy like w-mart. I’ve got to pick up some stuff for my daughter and get a few things myself. Hoping to have a couple sugar dates later this week.

  258. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    That’s what happens when one is uber-brilliant… the mind races faster than the fingers can type… hahahahaha… what are you doing today?

  259. lisa says:

    slow down VillaCypris you’re posting too fast, lol

  260. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    That was happening a lot yesterday…. they must be tweaking the site….

  261. lisa says:

    Good mornign VillaCypris 🙂

    I keep getting stopped for posting too fast, odd

  262. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Morning Lisa! 🙂

  263. lisa says:


    Back from doing laundry. Waiting for family to come over in about an hour.

  264. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    I can do it sweetred… although, I’ve noticed in the last day or two that on some profiles the country of log-in shows up as ” – ” …. i wasn’t aware that we can block that feature ?

  265. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    NM ughhh can’t get his profile number till my profile is approved. OK this really sucks!!

  266. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I need a paid member SB to look at a profile for me pleaseeeeee. and see the last country o f origin.

  267. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hopefully it is the literal wasps which are dead, not the metaphoric WASPs !!!!!

    And here we are back to lexical ambiguity….

    Ok! I shall screen the potential tent-occupants…. 8)

  268. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Stomping my feet!! My profile is still not approved!! hehe Like I expect the powers to be to be at home waiting on people like me to mess with their profiles lmao

  269. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    screen the SBs on a need based formula for admission.

    hmmm wondering what the requirements are for this little party lmao

  270. NitemareSD says:

    Babe, nothing more will happen here until you show up. The wasps are dead and the mosquitoes MIA, but I can’t get the guy to clean the hot tub until “thursday.”

    I’m counting on you to head the relief effort and screen the SBs on a need based formula for admission.

  271. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Taking a break from cooking and cleaning. BBQ’s are a lot or work!! lol

  272. VillaCypris *276489* says:


    Nitemare….. where in the world have you been??????? Preparing the lawn???? 😉

    Glad the BBQ is on Sweetred! Gorgeous here as well!

  273. lisa says:

    going to do laundry now and then visiting with family. Have a good day everyone.

  274. lisa says:

    Percy had his bubble bath a couple days ago

  275. lisa says:

    Hi Nitemare, welcome back Hi sweetreadhead

    Getting ready to go wash soon and then family is coming to visit later this morning. No barbecue here, city ordinance 🙁 only if you want to drag your grill to the middle of the parking lot and who would want to do that here

  276. NitemareSD says:

    Off the shower? Sounds a little homicidal.

    Looks like what you need is a bird bath.

  277. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Morning Lisa. Beautiful day here too. Looks like my BBQ is on 🙂

  278. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. Just got up, a beautiful sunny day here. Off the shower

  279. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Good morning everyone.

    gurlnextdoor Wow how weird. What’s the chat room lol

  280. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Most random thing happened, I was bored and went into a chat room tonight and started talking to this older gentleman. He was really nice and polite and asked to see some pics of me. I sent them to hi m and he said “wow you’re hot. you need a daddy to take care of you so you don’t have to work.” I was like woah, wtf!

  281. Apple-332079 says:

    johnq: Thanks for the kind words. I agree, the part about my location IS a bit ambiguous… maybe because I’m not too sure what I want either, hmm.

  282. Angela300373 says:

    I think he would be most generous as he is the type that feels joy in giving…….just my kind of person!
    As far as when we will meet, he is in Wyoming so it might be a while. (I am very anxious/excited to meet but it will have to be worked out. )
    I recently changed my schedule so I get 2(quant) 4 day weekends a month.
    f,s, s, m.
    I would be willing to travel for the first meet as long as he ensures a safe trip. Non-refundable ticket….the whole 9 yards. (and his references check out…lol…I’m sure they will….)

    In other news…..I changed my profile pic and was immediately still able to view my profile (with 2 pics….3rd awaiting approval) and was able to access my mail!
    Yaaaaaaa! NO more “waitin’- on- my -profile- to -get -approved” BLUES!

  283. Ambiguities says:

    Nite sweetred… do hope yah feel better.

    Jai- sounds like a great day you had!

  284. sweetredhead says:

    I am off to bed. Sweet dreams everyone.

  285. sweetredhead says:

    No still have it. Took 600 mgs of motrin if that doesn’t work I have tramadol, will see if that helps. But I don’t want to take both. I just took more motrin. Have this headache all day 🙁 Nothing has helped. I found the tramadol so hopefully that helps if the mortrin doesn’t, in about 4 hours I can take it lol

  286. Jai says:

    You’ve got mail you can actually open sweetred 🙂

  287. Jai says:

    I had a great everyone who asked 🙂 I went up to Chandler by way of the roads less travelled…literally. It was great and relaxing. When I got back into town, my SD and I went to dinner. I tried to find him a father’s day gift, but no success. Still fun 🙂

  288. Ambiguities says:

    sweetred: great advice! I never thought of having a another sb as a ack up – Brilliant sister! How’s the headache ? going away I hope 🙂

  289. sweetredhead says:

    Gypsyeyes This is common. All you have to do is get the flight info he gives you and check it out make sure it;s a non refundable ticket and round trip. Just get the confirmation number from him. Also confirm you hotel reservations and make sure they are paid for. And as always have a back up plan, have money with you. Make sure someone knows where you are. Have someone check in on you.

    Sometimes another Sb is in your area and you can ask them to be your back up. We have some great people here who would be happy to help you.

    The best advice I can give you is always go with your gut, if it feels wrong than it is. If he seems nice and honest, then go have a good time 🙂

  290. johnq says:


    What exactly happens when you try to go to the login page?


  291. sweetredhead says:

    Hi Gypsyeyes, welcome 🙂 Ask anything you like I am sure we can help you. It’s kind of late but I think some are still here.

  292. Gypsyeyes says:

    I have been talking to a pot SD who wants me to fly to vegas all expenses, but we have never met. He promises shopping, spa, entertainment….but I don’t want to just rush into something.

  293. Gypsyeyes says:

    Hi everybody…I’m new here….
    Just wanted to get some advise as I am new to being a SB as well….

  294. Gail says:

    Thanks O(ne) P(oint) O(f) V(iew). I will check that tommorrow : ) I really appreciate you taking time to help. Maybe when I finally get this fixed everyone will finally get to see my profile : )

    Hello goodgirl : ) and off to bed I go…it was a warm, beautiful day at the lake. I really went there to start my summer tan. Until tommorrow sugars!!!

  295. goodgirl*313749 says:

    i’m goin to bed also. sorry i missed you at the bar jai 🙂 just couldn’t bring myself to get out of my jammies today! lol! what a nice relaxed day. i don’t think i’ve spent the whole day in my pj’s since my daughter was born! 🙂

  296. sweetredhead says:

    I don’t get headaches often, I have had very few. But when I do I have them all day and nothing helps 🙁

  297. Clea says:

    Hi Sweetred- what an asshole~ pun intended! Hope you feel better soon. I get headaches as well so I feel for ya.

    Goodgirl- he has not checked in at this site since then. So he could be out of the country. I hope.

    Just wish I knew either way, know what I mean?

    Goodnight everyone.

  298. sweetredhead says:

    I am good, goodgirl, my headache has dulled some 🙂 Hoping I can go to sleep soon 🙂

  299. sweetredhead says:

    Clea The only experience I have had with that is the guy that wants anal and swallowing and wants me to meet him for dinner and straight to a hotel for $10,000 a month lmao. I keep telling him no and every few weeks he trys again. Like I have changed my morals in that amount of time or something. Or maybe he thinks I don’t have an SD and I might be desperate enough to take him up on his offer, I think NOT!!

  300. Ambiguities says:

    Evenin’ all ( jai-sweetred-girlie-clea-sfsug) Sure I am missing someone here…… Sorry I didin’t get to say bye this morning- I was running late for work. How is everybody tonight?

  301. O(ne) P(oint) O(f) V(iew) says:

    gail, it could have also been blocked inadvertently by your firewall software

  302. goodgirl*313749 says:

    good evening gail 🙂
    hi again jai!! what did you do today?

  303. goodgirl*313749 says:

    i’m with ya red! 🙂 how are you tonight?

  304. Gail says:

    Evening Sugars….back from the lake and bbq…I am 4 shades darker…a nice golden brown.

    John Q…thank you for taking the time to help unrestrict myself for SA. It was awfully nice of you to provide me with the details step by step. I have Windows Vista…(yuck) I followed your intstructions, but when I got the the part where I find the website name, it was not there. I searched for it quite a few times. I suppose I will be a blogger forever.

    Hello Jai : ) Did you get to go out to play today? (Smile)

  305. goodgirl*313749 says:

    Clea~ hello 🙂
    yes. this has happened to me. unfortunatly, after a fairly nice lunch he sent me an email that was less than tastefull. anyway, back to your question…i’d say if he told you he’d be in touch, you should let him contact you, especially since you mentioned that he’s married. however, if he’s still on the site looking for an sb, you could always send out a flirty little message.
    it’s a toss up.
    …gotta love the ‘poof daddy’ 🙂 lol

  306. sweetredhead says:

    SincereSD I have had my fair share of disappointments, lies and drama from Sd’s I just like to believe that most people are still honest. I have never been a negative person and I am not going to let a few jerks change that 🙂

  307. Clea says:

    Hi all-

    Thank you again for the advice yesterday. Angela- you lucky gal!
    Good luck.

    Update- I told my pot SD that I could not go forward with him and offered to give back his gift. He insisted that I keep it and wanted to see me again anyway and take me to dinner. He is a very sweet man.

    Another question- I was supposed to have a date with an SD about 10 days ago and he had to cancel because he was going out of town. He wrote and said he’d be in touch. At the time I thought that was a blow off.

    I really was attracted to him and liked him and thought we would have made a good SD/SB pairing. I have not heard from him since. I know he is a very busy man, married etc. I am going on with my life of course, meeting other pot SDs but still feel like we would have had a connection.

    Question for the SDs- did you ever have a SB you liked but had to put the meeting on hold for a while and were not in contact with that person until it was a better time.

    I am wondering if I contacted him if he would feel I was nagging him and if he wanted to be in contact he would be. Would that be a turn off if I just said hi, how are things? or should I just assume he has moved on?

    For the SBs- have you ever had a pot SD disappear only to show up again weeks, or months later and have things work out?

    I don’t want to blow it by nagging him but I would stop my pot SD search if I thought he might still be interested.

    Thanks guys in advance~

  308. girlie says:

    Hey OPOV! Welcome back. Jai too 🙂 hey you!

    And with that…..off to bed for me. I’m turning into a pumpkin.

  309. girlie says:

    JohnQ, my guess is the Western Union thing is because it is untraceable as far as I know. I have never used it to send or receive money but just assumed it is reasonable anon. It’s so unfortunate a warning even has to exist.

    Best of luck Angela. That was a very thoughtful gift! A reference….now that is interesting. Do you have questions prepared? 🙂

  310. O(ne) P(oint) O(f) V(iew) says:

    Yes johnq, SB main pages and SD/SM main pages are different. If you want to see what you are missing, you can easily create your own “sugar baby” profile and see what the fuss is all about.

  311. Jai says:

    Evening again 🙂 How is everyone?

  312. SFsuga says:

    Angela: You have definitely hit the sugar jackpot! If he is willing to buy you a digital camera before even meeting you in person, imagine what he will give you once you have established an arrangement. When are you going to meet him?

  313. Angela says:

    Yes Girlie! I am always safe…the problem usually is they get offended/squirrely when I bring up my safety “hoops” (for them to jump through)
    Not only is he not offended but he is volunteering info like crazy! I have his Mom’s phone number and his real estate agents number too!
    I jokingly told him it was like on a job interview ….you only put the references that you know will say good things, and he said I could call his ex wife if I wanted dirt….LOL

  314. johnq says:

    In rereading my post, I noticed that “disappearing” is misspelled. That’s copied directly from the site’s SD post-log in start page. I kind of understand why profiles contain misspellings, but it’s difficult to comprehend why a professional website contains text that hasn’t been spellchecked. Embarrassing.

  315. johnq says:

    It seems the SB log-in page and the SD log-in page are completely different. When I log in I get a page of text that’s mostly made up of warnings about various scams.

    Looking at those warnings more carefully, it strikes me that one of them is somewhat relevant to a subject that comes up in the blog from time to time, i.e., whether a SD should advance travel expenses to an SB who has to travel for a first meeting. The site warning reads as follows:

    “Never send money to anyone you just met using Western Union, even if they are in the US, UK or Canada. There are reports of Sugar Babies asking for travel expenses and dissappearing once they receive the money. No matter how much he or she may blame you for not trusting them, NEVER SEND MONEY to a stranger.”

    I’m a little confused by the Western Union reference, since if it’s a mistake to send money to a stranger I’m not sure why the particular medium of transmission makes a difference. Nevertheless, the site appears to be warning against something that a lot of SBs insist they would require before traveling to a first date.

    I’m not taking any position on the pros and cons of sending money in advance, but SBs getting resistance should probably know that the site warns against it.


  316. lisa says:

    well i’m going to go lay down and watch some tv. blog is running too slow tonight. Gonna sleep late tomorrow. Good night everyone

  317. goodgirl*313749 says:

    Angela I’m soooo excited for you!!! *puts mom voice on* just don’t get so caught up that you forget, saftey 1st 🙂


  318. SincereSD says:

    Lisa – I’m not broke yet but between the stock market and my “sincerity” to pot SBs, I may be headed in that direction.

    Sweetred – I hope you don’t never lose that optimistic outlook of yours. As for me, I’m just becoming wiser and more skeptical. As of last week, I decided I’m not freely opening my wallet without agreeing on what the agreement will be. I had this sudden epiphany in the middle of a conversation with a pot SB and finalized what was happening.

    Katrina – It’s 281444. I reactivated my profile last week.

    Girlie – I’ve been on the blog off and on since last summer. I became a SD several years ago quite by accident when I was seeing a student in Montreal and she lost her job. For some reason, I’ve become a lightning rod for drama queens and women with substance abuse. I took a short hiatus from the SD scene and deciding whether to resume my search or not.

  319. Angela300373 says:

    🙂 ;O 🙂
    Doing her happy dance!!!!!!!!!!!!

  320. goodgirl*313749 says:

    JQ~ hello 🙂 I agree with you.
    BTW, the ad is on the log in page. When you log in at 1st (as an sb) there are featured member profiles at the top of the page. It’s there. It says ‘calling all sugarbabies’. I kept passing it up, thinking it was a crazy sd who wanted multiple girls! lol (being in a group relationship isn’t my thing) lmao 🙂

  321. Angela300373 says:

    I called his “reference” and got voice mail so I left my name and why I called and said I would call some other time.

    We talked on the phone more and we really, really like each other.
    I mentioned my amazon wish list and he looked at it and bought me a digital camera. TODAY IS THE FIRST TIME WE HAVE SPOKE!
    I told him about the blog so maybe he will pop in sometime. He (like the other SD’s on the blog) is genuine pure cane sugar!
    He is all about establishing trust and appreciating me for who I am. I feel like I have hit the sugar jackpot! I am trying not to get my hopes up to high but so far …he has blown all my other pots out of the water with his sincerity. I did receive a gift on the first meet (the $500 watch) but then the guy asked me to follow him home.
    This guy has one-upped him and gave me a gift just after one phone conversation.

  322. sweetredhead says:

    I am out too, my head hurts 🙁 Have a good night everyone.

  323. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    ok sugars i’m off , have a good night all!
    talk soon!

  324. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    oh come on webcam isn’t that bad,,,,, 😀

  325. goodgirl*313749 says:

    ya, right! I won’t even use the webcam!!! lol 😉

  326. goodgirl*313749 says:

    my bad beach 🙂 you did… i just checked my ‘sent’ box again. that was the 1st email i sent. whoever gave me the second one wasn’t the same.
    🙂 yay! only 1 random email!

  327. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    goodgirl~ go for it… lol

  328. goodgirl*313749 says:

    the budget says 5001-10000 monthly… hmmmm?? anyone want to see ME on TV? lol 🙂

  329. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    Goodgirl~ i gave you that same email address.. didn’t you send it to both addresses you were given?

  330. goodgirl*313749 says:

    crap… any of you remember when i sent an email to stephan about the refund guy??? sent one out and then someone told me a diff e-mail to send it to…
    no wonder i never got a response…
    sent out TWO random emails that day!! 🙂 lmfao

  331. Beach_Girl*306486 says:

    Hey OPOv how you been
    Hi everyone!

  332. O(ne) P(oint) O(f) V(iew) says:

    Re: msg from Stephan

    Figures he would verify himself as diamond status.


  333. girlie says:

    You know what, I totally saw it. No one commented on it…..I noticed too. I saw the first sentence, assumed it was spam and didn’t read the rest.
    The mods approved it, which is odd.

  334. johnq says:


    For lots and lots of people, being on tv is like winning the lottery: a life-altering experience that will give their lives meaning. I absolutely guarantee they could draw at least several hundred women from this site, at least if they could figure out how to reach them. I suspect the kind of women who would be most interested in this are not reading this blog, and probably not reading much at all.

    Girlie: there was a single post placed on the blog by these people a couple of days ago (or maybe a week ago; I can’t really remember). It struck me at the time as kind of interesting, and even more interesting that until now no one even mentioned it. If they’re running some kind of ad, I haven’t seen it.


  335. sweetredhead says:

    O(ne) P(oint) O(f) V(iew) Says: to funny

  336. girlie says:

    SIncere, you will find her. How long have you been here?

  337. katrina says:

    SincereSD – what is your profile #?

  338. lisa says:

    100 sds, 100 allowance payments, early retirement, lol

    I was speeding again 🙁

  339. sweetredhead says:

    I need my profile approved 🙁

  340. sweetredhead says:

    I think that would make it the other way around lisa lol

  341. lisa says:

    How about a show with 1 sb chasing 100 sds?

  342. sweetredhead says:

    SincereSD I think we are all being coming that way a bit. To many fakes who have “played” us. It is not only on the Sd side.

  343. lisa says:

    sincereSd how bout “brokeSD” that should work, lol

  344. girlie says:

    IS this the profile that appears on the main page? I assumed it was site sponsored in some way.
    How did you find that out, JohnQ. SOunds very Bachelor-like. I am sure that ad is getting TONS of response.

  345. lisa says:

    Katrina, don’t panic, i’m sure explorer will be in your area in 2 weeks, lol

  346. SincereSD says:

    I’ve come across some sexless sugar profiles and I have to say I skip over them. That’s not what I’m looking for as a SD. I like how Angela calls them aspartame.

    As much I like the seduction and the chase, I have to say I’m a lot less patient than I used to be I’ve been conned by a previous SB needing promising intimacy when she is ready and stupidly I fell for it. While I don’t push, if the pot SB says she is going to take her time to decide or unsure whether intimacy will be involved … it’s unlikely I will continue to see her.

    Fool me once, shame on you … I don’t be fooled twice again.

    Hmmm, I think NightmareSD is rubbing off on me. I’m definitely getting jaded and a bit tired of people treating me as a walking ATM. Maybe I should change my name to InsincereSD.

  347. sweetredhead says:

    My son is outside playing with the frogs!! BOY’s!!

  348. katrina says:

    Plus who would want to be on tv now anyway – the unforgiving scrutiny of HD!!! 🙂

  349. katrina says:

    I wonder why Explorer hasn’t contacted me? I feel a bit excluded… : )

    I would never be on tv – I don’t even post my photos. I just wondered why they are doing it. I cannot understand why either SBs or SDs woulod agree to be on tv with their choices.

  350. lisa says:

    my mom would kill me, lol

  351. sweetredhead says:

    I will not be on no tv reality show. I like my privacy and discretion is important to me as an SB and most liely important to an SD I am with.

  352. lisa says:

    well he still might be in your area in 2 weeks, lol

    I wonder what “exotic location” he is in now, lol

  353. sweetredhead says:

    explorer won’t write to me again, got rid of him a long time ago lol

  354. johnq says:


    I believe the show is actually a reality show in which some number of SBs will chase after one (or possibly more than one) SD.

    Any SB who participates should expect to be portrayed as a brainless golddigger.

    For some reason, a large number of Americans who would hate to make fools of themselves in private are willing to go to great lengths to make fools of themselves in front of millions of people, so I suspect the producers will have no trouble filling their casting calls. Assuming, that is, that it’s not just a fairly clever scam designed to get gullible SBs to take off their clothes as part of an “audition.”


  355. lisa says:

    I hope you can read them soon sweetreadhead, they might be from explorer and he might have left your area before you get a chance to read his messages, lol

  356. lisa says:

    Have a good evening Jai
    Yes gurlnextdoor it’s good that you stood up and didn’t let him use you, you would really be feeling crappy if you had.
    Just got off the phone with my bestfriend, saved by the battery dying, lol

  357. sweetredhead says:

    now I have 3 messages I can’t read 🙁

    Good evening everyone

  358. goodgirl*313749 says:

    Gurl~ that sucks. Sorry 🙁

  359. goodgirl*313749 says:

    Katrina~ i’m not totally sure, but i thought that might be a spam ad?

  360. goodgirl*313749 says:

    Hi Jai!!! 🙂
    I thought I might walk up to the bar~ it’s stumbling distance to my bed~ lol! But, since I’ve been hangin out in my jammies all day, and it’s already 9pm here, I haven’t really decided if I should…
    How was your day out?

  361. katrina says:

    Hello, Everyone!

    I am curious if anyone is going to be answering the ad on this site to be on a tv show discussing the SD/SB lifestyle?

  362. Jai*277171* says:

    Off to dinner with my SD 🙂 I’ll check back later.

    I’ll see you at the bar gg 😀

  363. Jai*277171* says:

    I’m a speed typer, so I’m having trouble keeping up with everyone 🙂

    Sorry to hear about your loss gurl. But, as always, better you know now rather than later 🙂

    What up gg?! 😀

  364. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    GG, yeah that’s what I always thought a SB was, a part time girlfriend. I’m there when he wants and needs me and gone the rest of the time. I don’t know if the fact that I said I thought an arrangement was like a friends with benefits type thing threw him off, but oh well. His loss…

  365. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Yep OPOV, that’s what I said, pure bull shit. But hey, at least I did get a really good dinner out of the situation.

  366. goodgirl*313749 says:

    🙂 It did it to me earlier and I hadn’t typed anything for a couple hours.

    Not judging anyone, but i really dislike phrases like ‘thinks he’ll have a trial run’ or ‘free sex’ or won’t ‘pay’ me until we’ve been intimate.
    Maybe it’s just me???
    For me, being a sugar baby means being a part-time girlfriend, who has a part-time boyfriend, that just so happens to have a lot more money than me and therefore helps me out financially. (because he likes me. not because i let him f*** me) Sex is part of being in a romantic relationship with someone. Whether they have money or not. Full time or not.

  367. johnq says:

    Apple: excellent profile. Very well-written and gives a good impression of you as a real human being.

    One comment: the San Diego-Manhattan thing is kind of confusing. First, the headline implies that you’re moving permanently from San Diego to NY, though apparently that’s not the case. In addition, it’s not clear whether you’re looking for a San Diego SD (who would presumably have to accept a break during the summer) or a NY SD (who would presumably have to accept that the arrangement would only last for 3 months). I would add some text explaining exactly what you’re looking for.

    Note to the site: I’m getting the “you are posting too quickly” warning despite the fact that I haven’t posted for several hours. You’ve obviously got a problem.

  368. Jai*277171* says:

    You’ve got mail sweetred 🙂

    Evening everyone. 🙂 I’ve yet to catch up on the blog. I just wanted to pop in and say hello. 😀 JQ, Villa, Red, girlie, and any one else willing to do it: My profile number is 277171. Open to suggestions 🙂

  369. O(ne) P(oint) O(f) V(iew) says:

    Wow! My s’s are coming up as d’s. That should be “is” not “id” and “catches” not “catched”

    My bad!

  370. O(ne) P(oint) O(f) V(iew) says:

    lisa, it is not specific to you – it is a software thing that is preventing more than one person from posting at the same time. The database id getting jammed up and that’s how they slow it down until it catched up with itself. It just did it to me and I ain’t running off at the fingers.

  371. O(ne) P(oint) O(f) V(iew) says:

    Hey GND

    I have heard of this line from a few of the ladies I have dated from the site who have told me how guys are always telling them they want to “have a trial run first” just to make sure there is some level of compatibility. That’s just plain bull shit and they are just looking to score and are probably fake daddy’s to begin with. A true sugar gentleman would display much more class than that.

  372. lisa says:

    ok for the third time! keeps saying i’m posting too fast

    I think many of the guys want free sex and if they can get a potential sb to put out, they will make an excuse that it just isn’t going to work to make an excuse to avoid parting with any money. If they are not looking to pay for sex, then simply pay the allowance and don’t have sex for a while. it’s simple, lol

  373. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Hey Apple, don’t think I’ve seen you on the blog before, so welcome. 🙂

    I’ll be back later, gotta go eat dinner.

  374. Apple-332079 says:

    Woo, got my profile number up! It took me a couple days to figure out how to look at other SB’s profiles. (For anyone that wants to know and doesn’t already know how: click “Profile” in the menu bar, then do a search for similar profiles, it’s all the way at the bottom. Click on any profile, then substitute the number in your browser’s address bar with the profile ID you actually want to see.)

    Any thoughts on my profile? Does it come off over eager? Too young?

  375. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Yep I like Marshalls too, like TJ Maxx the prices are low and even better when you can get stuff on clearance. But right now I’m supposed to be saving up for a summer vacation with my boyfriend so can’t go all crazy on buying stuff at the moment.

    How are my comments posting too quickly?!?!? I’m writing something like every 3 minutes, lol.

  376. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Lol yep, that’s a good analogy lisa. I don’t get it, they want the woman to put out before putting out some cash on their part. Sugar daddy relationships are supposed to be MUTUALLY beneficial, not beneficial to one person. But I guess he didn’t get that memo.

  377. lisa says:

    I haven’t been to tj max but we have a Marshalls HOmegoods close to where I live. I love shopping at Marshalls, lots of good prices on clothes and lingerie. When I worked at target, I shopped all the time for any thing that was on clearance. Now at the supermarket, I just buy sodas and food whenever I need to.

  378. lisa says:

    I have my lover to so not desperate for sex. Funny they want to take it slow with the allowance but want to get some action right away. Kinda like waiting to see if the lotto ticket is a winner before buying it, lol

  379. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    I work at TJ Maxx/Homegoods. Two stores in one which means more work, lol. But I mostly work on the TJ Maxx side which means I’m always being tempted to buy some more clothes.

  380. lisa says:

    oops I’m posting to fast I need to SLOW DOWN lol

  381. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Exactly lisa. I mean really I’m not starving for sex, I have a boyfriend who can give that to me. But really, if you want to give me a trial run for an arrangement without any allowance, then what makes you think you’re gonna get some sex from me? Oh well…

  382. lisa says:

    What type of retail do you work at gurlnextdoor? I used to work at Target which sucked because of the late nights and folding clothes and stuff, then an office store that was ok except the stress was too much. Now I work at a supermarket which is pretty good, no stress. Lotsa physical work and it can be tiring but it’s the best retail job i’ve had.

  383. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Haha raine, good one.

    Yeah it’s ok. I think I might take a break from actively seeking a SD for now. But I’m gonna stick with the blog still, so don’t worry I’m not going anywhere. 😉

  384. raine says:

    (Am I the only one who isn’t being clocked by the site for speeding?)

  385. lisa says:

    No car trouble for me, lol 🙂

    That really sucks gurlnextdoor Funny how these guys are ready to be intimate right away but want to take it slow on the allowance part. The trial period I mentioned should only involve going to dinner, talking, movies, etc if he wasn’t giving you a trial allowance, he doesn’t get no trial anything else,lol

  386. raine says:

    Oh man, gnd, I’m sorry. No other words for that one.

    Geez, ladies, it’s that season for your cars to start “blocking”, huh?

  387. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Well he emailed me while I was at work today, but I emailed him explaining my actions. Hey if he would’ve given me an allowance then we would have had sex, but this ride isn’t free. 😉

  388. lisa says:

    ok I;m going to try this for the fourth time, it keeps saying im posting too fast and to slow down. 🙁

    Thanks for explaining that goodgirl, for a moment I thought you had a body part you shouldn’t have, lol

    Sorry to hear that gurlnextdoor. He didn’t understand the allowance thing when you explained it to him? Sounds like he was looking for free samples. 🙁

  389. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Aww I lost my SD. He thought that my stopping him last night meant I wasn’t into him. *shakes her head*

  390. goodgirl*313749 says:

    i just had to replace my lower left ball joint. ugh! …i know lisa~ 🙂 it’s a part that apparently keeps my wheels on 🙂

  391. katrina says:

    Lisa I think that is the muffler

    All of our cars must be on the same cycle – I just got a new water pump, steering column and alignment (second alignment in 3 months!!!). My car is a 2005 so maybe time to replace : )

  392. goodgirl*313749 says:

    angela~where are you from? …are you gonna call me?!? 😉

  393. goodgirl*313749 says:

    lisa~ i believe that is the muffler 🙂 lol
    *transmission is the part that makes the car shift gears.

  394. lisa says:

    oh 3k to replace a transmission? Isn’t that the thing that hangs from the car and makes noise when it is loose? You know the thing that looks like a watering can thing? Sorry I know nothing about cars.

  395. raine says:

    Hold the phone, Angela: a reference, and one who’ll talk to boot?! If that guy isn’t a catch, I don’t know who is! Now *that* is unheard of.

    I can just see NitemareSD sputtering at this post, then cracking his knuckles!lol

  396. goodgirl*313749 says:

    evening everyone 🙂 thinking since i’m all alone (no daughter til tomo, and sd out of town, and all my girlfriends together at the lake) i should probably walk down to the bar and enjoy being a single woman 🙂

    angela~ yes. you should call. mainly because i’m nosey and want to hear how that conversation goes 😉

  397. Angela300373 says:

    OMFG; The great pot I was just talking about actually sent me a reference!
    I had already googled his name and that was good results (he is ceo of his company and no freaky/scary things popped up) before speaking to him when I mentioned one of the things that came up he congradulated me on doing my homework! and he even suggested I contact other sugar babes he went on a date with. I said that would be great and I just got an email with a phone # to call….

    Should I call?
    Just the fact he was forthcoming with that and she agreed makes me feel secure enough.

  398. Silly says:

    VERY expensive to replace.. usually about 3K$

  399. raine says:

    Evening, OPOV. I SO look forward to your take on this topic.

    Well, regardless of the verdict—I’m neither artificial nor lazy—to qoute Jay-Z (I can’t believe I’m even quoting this man, but in this case it’s all but mandatory): I.WILL.NOT.LOSE.

  400. Angela300373 says:

    I am not having any trouble with the site… (mozilla)
    I thought the same thing when she said the tranny went out….of course I am used to hearing a transmission referred to in that way but the visual was tooo funny.

    Where has Nitemare been? I miss him.

    I have no dates this weekend but I am ok with that…I have been on a date almost every weekend till now…so it is kinda nice to hang out with my cats…lol

    Might see my sugar couple tomorrow but nothing set as of yet.
    I talked to a great pot tonight that if we can overcome our geographical distance I think we would be amazing together… He has the right frame of mind. (Brought here by the NYT article) and he is physically HOT!
    Our conversation was so great (over an hour) and he is witty, sweet, loves nature and dogs…..who could ask for more?

  401. lisa says:

    what is a tranny? sorry I know nothing about cars. Can’t you just pick one up and have someone put it in for you or is it something really serious?

  402. lisa says:

    yes they have under 1000 but If you are considering that, just choose “amount negotiable” because if you put less than 1000k the results can be as follows:

    If you are sb and you put that, you are limited yourself because a sd that might give you more might give you less because that’s what you’re asking for and remember less than 1000k could be anything from 999 to 1 dollar, so dont’ pick that one

    If you are a sd, a sb is going to skip your profile because it might be that you are cheap or too poor to spend more, you might be one of those that want to see a sb 3 times a week for 500 a month

  403. raine says:

    I was gonna write something, but I’d better leave it be…

  404. O(ne) P(oint) O(f) V(iew) says:

    sweetredhead*269443* Says:
    May 24th, 2009 at 11:49 am

    “Great!! the tranny just went out on my car. I can’t afford to fix that and can’t afford a new care ughhhh Just when things where going so well for me.”

    In NYC, when we say the tranny went out on a car, we usually refer to them getting all dolled up for an evening at the Eidelweiss or such. 🙂

    Evening sugars. Hope you all have had some good times of late. It’s nice to see all the new handles joining the blog and running up those post counts. You’re forcing Stephan to keep coming up with new titles. Also nice to see more SD’s participating in the discussions as well. Gives some balanced perspectives to sugar dating.

  405. Silly says:

    oh and another question, why do they have the “under 1,000$” as an option ? would that even be ‘sugar’ ?!

  406. Silly says:

    good evening.. I’ve changed my profile and uploaded new pics.. can any SB’s or SD’s take a look and critique for me 330786 ? ooops pics still waiting to be approved. oh well
    I’m in TO too.. I think there are a few on here ? would love to hear about your experience on the site..


  407. sweetredhead says:

    and dinning rooms for got that one

  408. sweetredhead says:

    I have a living room, family room, 2 full baths 3 bedrooms, kitchen takes me way to long to clean lol

  409. lisa says:

    no thanks but thanks for thinking of me, lol I have 1 bedroom, 1 bath, living room, kit and an empty dining room so it’s takes a little over an hour. Of course it never looks clean because my apt needs painting, carpet needs to be burned, etc.

  410. sweetredhead says:

    I have 2 bathrooms 1 tub and 2 showers, should keep you busy for awhile lol

  411. sweetredhead says:

    come do mine when your done. I haven’t gotten to them yet

  412. lisa says:

    I jump back and forth from bathroom cleaning to computer, toilet is all sparkling. Now the tub

  413. sweetredhead says:

    Anyone seen bob? Bet he is nursing a hang over lol

  414. sweetredhead says:

    Gee thanks Lisa for telling me 🙂 hope you wash your hands before you type ewwww

    wait how do you clean a tolet and be on the computer at the same time? Never mind not sure I even want to know!!

  415. lisa says:

    Good evening sweetredhead I’m cleaning the toilet right now, lol

  416. sweetredhead says:

    I have another mail on the site, but I can’t see it. Darn profile is not approved 🙁 might just be another response saying they will come see the blog 🙂

  417. lisa says:

    huh both dates were first meetings and involved shopping (their ideas, these were two different dates) and then they dropped me home, and then cancelled our evening plans.

  418. goodgirl*313749 says:

    lisa~you did invest a little pre-1st-date time, no?

  419. goodgirl*313749 says:

    good evening!!!
    welcome to the ‘secret sugary underground’ applepi 🙂

  420. lisa says:

    and actually there is such thing as a “free lunch” I have had two sd meetings which involved shopping on the first meeting, they dropped me off at my place after lunch and shopping with plans for us to get together in the evening and then both cancelled.

  421. lisa says:

    Welcome ApplePi

    We all keep it secret, as I have my own place and am quite a bit older but my family is conservative and wouldn’t approve. I have had moderate luck, considering I’m over 40. Currently have a sd I met earlier this month who has been generous, now just getting him movitvated to continue the arrangement. I have another couple potentials with one meeting this week. It seems to happen at once, then you have a dry spell.

  422. ApplePi says:

    Hello all. New girl here! I recently joined SA (found out about it from the NY Times magazine article). I always jokingly told my friends that I wish I had a benefactor or a sugar daddy so I could focus on school and more creative endeavors. Well… I didn’t know there was a social network dedicated to such, lol.

    I put my profile up a couple weeks ago, and I’ve had several email exchanges since. I have never done anything like this before… I feel like I’m just making it up as I go. Kind of unsure about how to go about it. I’m also trying really hard to keep the whole thing hidden from my roommate and friends.

    As for sexless sugar… hmm, well I kind of feel like “there’s no such thing as a free lunch” right? But I definitely want to find someone that I’m physically attracted to, and would WANT to sleep with… forced sex is bad sex.

  423. lisa says:

    Good evening Angela How’s your sugar world?

  424. Angela300373 says:

    This may sound weird coming from a girl but I think intimacy is an unspoken understood part of Sugar dating……just like the financial augmentation.

    No financial enhancement=aspartame.
    No intimacy= aspartame.

    Some people may prefer sugar substitute but I am not one of them.

    On the flip side……I do have a family friend who is in every way a Sugar Daddy to me…except for the sex. He is concerned about my well being, helps me occasionally, has a generous heart. I give him companionship, clean his house occasionally, feed his cats when he is away- Basically …mutually beneficial. He has bought me a car in the past….(I had intended on repayment but he gave me “debt forgiveness” for Christmas.) We have known each other for over 10 yrs now and have always been there for each other…..so I know those types of relationships do exist……but believe they are quite rare and probably not as likely to occur on this site.

  425. lisa says:

    I can’t check it because I don’t have a profile on here anymore

  426. Red Maru *210789* says:

    I’ll keep a look out
    Still can’t log on to SA some weird error message

  427. lisa says:

    RedMaru he is a guy that contacts everyone on the site and will be in their area (no matter where they live) in 2 weeks and wants to meet in exotic locations. stay on the site long enough and i’m sure he will be in your area soon, lol

  428. Red Maru *210789* says:

    Hi lisa I was starting to get lonely 😀
    Good luck on your date
    Who is this explorer I keep hearing about?

  429. lisa says:

    Hi everyone Home from work and managed to miss the rain. Devouring a whole rotessier chicken right now. Heard from my sd and he wants to meet friday afternoon which should work out well with my lunch date with the potential, that is if the potential doesn’t flake on me when he finds out I can’t just meet anywhere and he does live about 15 miles from me.
    So friday is booked up with potential lunch and sd visiting in the afternoon if he can handle the driving.
    Haven’t checked my mail since I left this morning so I gotta see if I have any new messages.

    Now back to my chicken and Sweetreadhead, Explorer will be in MY AREA in 2 weeks so stay away, lol 🙂

  430. Red Maru *210789* says:

    Wow am I the only one here? It’s getting lonely

  431. Red Maru *210789* says:

    That and the weather’s got me miffed…
    The sun came out then changed it’s mind. I thought the rain was about to end but if weatherman is to be believed another storm is on its way. Other than the coffee lol 😀
    I had a good day rediscovered how much I like making scented candles got my apartment smelling good

  432. Red Maru *210789* says:

    Yeah I had that problem for a while but then I could post messages. I just can’t get into the site. I get some strange error message at the top.
    (Effects of the coffee have worn off :D)

  433. goodgirl*313749 says:

    lol 🙂 whats goin on?? i can log in…
    i just can’t post comments too quickly. i should slow down. 🙂

  434. Red Maru *210789* says:

    Yea its the coffee and the fact SA site acting up…been trying to get on for about an hour now.
    Shoulda laid off the coffee huh?

  435. Red Maru *210789* says:

    Still can’t get in (resumes banging on desk)

  436. goodgirl*313749 says:

    hello 🙂 you goin a little crazy there red?!? …must be that pot of “coffee” you made today! lmfao! 😉

  437. Red Maru *210789* says:

    Okay my message posted but I’m still having trouble logging on(stops banging head on desk)

  438. sweetredhead says:

    I can get on now, how about you?

  439. Red Maru *210789* says:

    Hey sweetred its not just you. I can’t get on either. Hope this reaches as the blog is f***ing up too

  440. sweetredhead says:

    Is anyone else getting a error massage trying to sign on to the site?

  441. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Now here I am talking to myself on the blog. If I start answering myselg, call the guys in white coats!!!

  442. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    my parents have called twice today checking on their dog. I am fine and so are your grand kids!! They are too funny!! Next time they call I am going to ask them What dog lmao

  443. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Great now I have mail and can’t open it!! Why did I fix those typo’s?? lmao STEPHEN!!! help!!!! please!!!!! lol Luv you 🙂

  444. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I changes those little typos not I have to wait for approval ughhh I hate that part!!

  445. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I think the guy I got an email from is a con artist. We will see.

  446. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    riadh he sends out emails to everyone saying the same thing. He will be in our area in 2 weeks. We are all in different areas!

  447. katrina says:

    Hello, Everyone! Happy Sunday…

    I had a complete whacko email me from this site. On his profile, it does not state where he lives, it just says to ask him. So I responded and asked him and – surprise, surprise – he is in Boston, which is close to me.

    I think it is actually a teenager playing around. He was asking for nude photos – I referred him to the blog, and told him to read the posts by Katrina and said that is me and I don’t have nude photos and cannot imagine sending some to someone I have never even met! Seriously???

  448. Pink Daisy - 336652 says:

    *wishes her photos would hurry up and get approved!*

  449. riadh says:

    I got an email from this Explorer guy, what’s so strange about him?

  450. raine says:

    Maaaan, I hate that “full/overweight” malarkey with the heat of a thousand suns! I was on the fence about choosing between that and “a few extra pounds” as well. Hi girlie, long time no read 🙂

    Oh, to the brand spankin’ newbies: I don’t recommend using the first paragraph shown in my profile either! *that guarantees an empty inbox (again, same as mine)

  451. girlie says:

    No, I think you did the right thing, especially since it’s a work in progress!

    Must get some (MORE!) gardening done. I had NO idea how labor intensive and expensive it is and I’m just in a little townhouse. ugh 🙂

  452. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    girlie, thank you. It was hard for me to decide if I should put full/overweight or a few extra pounds. But the profiles I looked up that had full/over weight were REALLY big woman. I didn’t want to appear that way.

  453. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Thank you johnq. I wanted to be honest about the weight thing. Exactly they will see it when I meet then 🙂 I agree about the pictures I really do need to get some new ones. The head shot is not a very good picture either. I had been in the pool all day and not the most attractive picture of me.

    I actually wasn’t really trying to emphasize the boobs lol, was more or less trying to show body type. But I can see why you say that. I took that with my web cam and I could not get the whole head and body in there to look right 🙁

  454. girlie says:

    Sweetredhead….yep, pouty can be sexy and cute! Especially when done at the right time.

    I also like the way you deal with the weight issue. I head SO many SD’s say that women lie about this often. The way you address it seems to build some level of trust up front. If you are honest about this, SD’s will probably assume you will be honest about lots more.

  455. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I am on my 3rd cup of coffee!! good thing I switched from sugar to equal!! No more late night chats for me lol

  456. johnq says:

    Girlie: no comments. Very nice profile.

    Sweetredhead: other than the spelling/grammar issues noted by VillaCyrpris, I’m not thrilled with your second picture. In particular, I’m not sure why it’s cut off at the neck. It’s not hard to figure out what you’re trying to emphasize in this picture, but I think you’d be better off with a shot that also included your head. As it is, you’ve got one head shot and one headless bust shot and it’s a little disjointed.

    Incidentally: very honest and classy way to deal with the weight issue. I have personal experience of someone on this site who blatantly lied about that, and I’m utterly puzzled as to why someone would do so, since the pot SD will figure it out within the first five seconds of an actual meeting anyway. Obviously a lot of SDs will not contact you based on your weight, but those wouldn’t have worked out anyway, and the ones who do contact you will be much more likely to be keepers.


  457. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    girlie I think we all can do pouty at some point lol And the best part is, they fall for it 🙂

  458. girlie says:

    Oh I get pouty 🙂 I don’t ever do drama but I can, on occasion, do needy…..I must admit. Luckily, my SD loves that…..I guess I look for someone with Daddy-ish tendencies and this is usually an indicator. Wow, this is a revealing post 🙂

    I’m glad you pointed it out though. I realize it could be misinterpreted if I were looking for something different down the line.

  459. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Have fun today Jai!! 🙂

  460. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Aww my moms dog is laying on her little pink fluffy bed. I am so used to my big dog, she is such a little peanut!

  461. Jai says:

    I’m out sugars 🙂

    Have wonderfully inspired, productive days! 😀

  462. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    lol VillaCypris I thought that too, then I thought she was just trying to be funny 🙂

  463. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    girlie very nice profile 🙂

    LMAO I already got one from him awhile back

    Yes and it’s getting so annoying!!

  464. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    girlie – well-done!

    a on-going partner – AN on-going

    I know you mean to be cute and/or charming by saying that you want someone who will forgive you when you get “pouty” for not receiving attention…

    but some might misconstrue that for neediness or dramatic…. and you don’t seem like that AT ALL based on your comments here….

    just a thought! x

  465. girlie says:

    I bet $10 that your email from a SD was from Explorer. He is out and about again.

  466. girlie says:

    Goodgirl….you sound very comfy!

    IS anyone else getting a message about ‘posting too quickly, slow down’?

  467. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    girlie? I am lost, whaqt was the $10 bet?

  468. girlie says:

    Do mine, do mine!! 216076 🙂

    ooooh truffle salt! I am going to pick some of that up today. I still have at least 3 cups of quinoa left to work through.

  469. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I am going to have to try it 🙂

  470. johnq says:


    It’s not hard to remove a site from the restricted sites list, though, as is typical of Microsoft they don’t make it obvious, either.

    1. Click the Start button.
    2. Click Control Panel.
    3. Double-click Internet Options.
    4. Click the Security tab.
    5. Click the Restricted Sites icon.
    6. Click the Sites button.
    7. The SA log-in site should be listed in the box. Select it.
    8. Click Remove.

    That should do it. If none of this works for you, it’s probably because you’re using an older version of Windows.


  471. goodgirl*313749 says:

    hehehe… i’ve got my pink jammies on too. 🙂 and my pink and white robe with my pink fuzzy slippers! lol

  472. girlie says:

    Well this is a $10 I am happy to lose, because his emails are a nuisance.

    Thanks Villa. My aunt introduced quinoa to me about a year ago and I turned my nose up, assuming it was tasteless. I surprisingly LOVE it and am pleased it’s a protein. I love it mixed with roasted veggies diced really small.

  473. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    lmao thanks 🙂 So much for spell check lol

  474. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    It tastes great! I drizzle some grapeseed oil over it, and add black truffle salt….

    or you can put cinnamon…. or anything really!
    very versatile.

  475. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    sweetred …. since i love to correct grammar 🙂

    sence of humor – senSe

    If your looking – you’re

    who know what – knowS

  476. Jai says:

    girlie, you’re out $10 lol 😛

  477. Jai says:

    Congrats Red! 🙂

    Thanks for the great info Villa 🙂

  478. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    VillaCypris that’s all great, but how does it taste?

  479. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    There’s a great website for the *best* foods…. whfoods and the domain is org.

  480. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Lol, It was not scary. It was actually very nice 🙂 we will see what happens.

  481. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    A recently rediscovered ancient “grain” native to South America, quinoa was once called “the gold of the Incas,” who recognized its value in increasing the stamina of their warriors. Not only is quinoa high in protein, but the protein it supplies is complete protein, meaning that it includes all nine essential amino acids. Not only is quinoa’s amino acid profile well balanced, making it a good choice for vegans concerned about adequate protein intake, but quinoa is especially well-endowed with the amino acid lysine, which is essential for tissue growth and repair. In addition to protein, quinoa features a host of other health-building nutrients. Because quinoa is a very good source of manganese as well as a good source of magnesium, iron, copper and phosphorus, this “grain” may be especially valuable for persons with migraine headaches, diabetes and atherosclerosis.

  482. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Jai wish I was!! We would have such a good time!! Make sure you bring his CC and spoil yourself!! lol

  483. Jai says:

    Lol, don’t be afraid Red. It may be your dream SD

  484. girlie says:

    Your toes are driving today, Jai….lol 🙂

    Sweetredhead, I am betting $10 it is Explorer.

  485. Jai says:

    Lol! My toes to dry! I’m way too excited about this. I may not come back tonight. Thinking of heading to Phoenix and making the most of it 🙂

  486. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Ohhh I got mail on the site, I am afraid to look lol

  487. Jai says:

    You too Gail! 🙂

    I gave up already Red. I’d be here all day trying to convince him lol. I’m leaving in about 15 minutes. Just waiting on my toes to drive. I’m dressed up, smelling good, and ready to go 😀 I went outside to tell him I was leaving. He thought I was going to check on my sisters dogs 😛 He was surprised when I told him I’m going to do an out day like I wanted. I’m so excited! lol Red, you should be here. We’d have a great day. It’s gorgeous outside! Ok, I’m rambling..

  488. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Hold breath!! wondering what is going to be said lol

  489. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    You can critique mine, Would be interested to see what you guys think

  490. girlie says:

    Villa…..Quinoa is a protein?! Awesome. Best news of the day.

    I almost wish someone would critique mine. I found my SD but I am kinda curious now 🙂

  491. Gail says:

    Sorry all…forgot to spellcheck….attract not attact : ) Adios amigos : )

  492. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Bye Gail Have fun!!

  493. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    girlie I am also wearing pink jammies lmao, I just noticed, that Is too funny!

  494. Gail says:

    You profile was good enough to attact your SD : ) You don’t need it to be critiqued….lol….

    I am heading out for the day…going to the lake and a BBQ : ) Have a wonderful Sunday everyone!!!!

  495. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Morning Jai!! Tell your SD I SAID to take you out lmao. grumpy ole man!!

  496. girlie says:

    Good afternoon all.
    Hey Villa….I’m eating quinoa too! I made a ton of it on Friday and am working my way through it. It’s a nice alternative to rice.

    Silly, I would agree with Johnq. I am in Toronto too and my guess is that is not going to go far. Best of luck in your search. There are some lovely SD’s in this area .

    Hey….nothing wrong with excessive love of pink (said the girl sipping coffee in a pink bathrobe!) 🙂

  497. Jai says:

    I’m thinking I should let you guys critique my profile as well. I hardly look at it anymore except to grab my profile number.

    Red, that sandwich sounds yummy 🙂

  498. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Made a lemon pepper tuna sandwich on whole grain bread for lunch yummy.

    random I know lol

  499. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    You’re welcome! Much better now… 🙂

    yes, sweetred. we do!

  500. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Good point VillaCypris, we all make a great team. You get every part of your profile looked at and get all points of views. It’s great that everyone can look at it and see things that other don’t 🙂

    This posting to fast is on my last nerve!!

  501. Pink Daisy - 336652 says:

    Thank you again Villa, didn’t realise I’d made so many silly little mistakes! x

  502. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Excellent ! Good, honest, thought – provoking… needs a hyphen between those two words.

  503. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    And lastly, PINK, some typographical corrections.. in boldface…

    I ‘ m honest and always speak my mind which can sometimes get me into trouble, but I always try to have people ‘ s …. I’m BY no means naive … student with A huge passion … especially horror – , who just want S to …

  504. Gail says:

    Oops…sorry…what I meant by that is, it’s the same as it has always been. I just haven’t got around to changing it. I don’t even know what my profile number is now. And I can’t change because by accident I added the website login to the restricted sites area, and can seem to fix it. But that’s okay, I have been busy working too much to sugardate. I still have access to the blog page…so here I am : )

    By the way JohnQ, your name reminds me of a wonderful restaurant at the top of floor of a Hotel in downtown Sacramento : )

  505. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Pink – one other thing…. you say a “good decent” conversation… those two words are at odds with each other, as decent is less desirable than “good”… one could argue.

    Perhaps a “spirited” conversation…. or “stimulating”… or “engaging”….

  506. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    You’re welcome PINK!

  507. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hahaha Gail… good memory! None of that today…. all the snow and mud is gone from the tundra 😉

  508. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Lisa is at work, I seen her say that this morning up there somewhere.

    Speaking of Lisa, Bob wants to take her out to a nice restaurant and buy percery a cage. WE have to try and get her to accept 🙂

  509. Gail says:

    Hello Raine : ) The Jazz Festival was wonderful. It was extremely crowded but we were able to find a table where we just crowded in, had some great drinks and listen to the tunes. Lots of people everywhere. It was nice to just have some fun after working so much this month.

    Goodgirl…how exciting to have a new computer : ) You get to travel the world and meet so many people now. My life really changed after I got mine. I use to have a dull boring life.

  510. johnq says:

    Gail: you wrote:

    “Weclome new sugars : ) Putting together a profile is not easy…just look at mine.”

    Great advice, and I’m sure your profile would serve as a useful template for SBs old and new, but without your profile number it’s going to be a little challenging for them to make use of your wisdom.


  511. Gail says:

    I am sorry…no intention to curse you…lol…just being prepared….okay I will have a hose ready just in case you fall in the mud again….(smile)

    I just swallowed my 2 tablespoons of flax oil this morning. It does something for me…I always feel great now : ) plus my long black hair is always so shiny.

    I decided to stop drinking coffee…it was staining my teeth. Just staying with water for now : )

    Where is Lisa? Liiiiissssa……where are you?

  512. goodgirl*313749 says:

    be over after lunch! i have a sugarfree lunch date today 🙂

  513. Pink Daisy - 336652 says:

    ahhh good point villacypris, thank you x

  514. goodgirl*313749 says:

    haha sweetred 😉 i know all about babysitting moms dog! lol …actually, i have to do it again next week. for the WHOLE week!
    gail~i got mine a month ago. ugh.
    ….that ‘posting too quickly’ thing is annoying.

  515. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I should really over hale my profile also. But when I think about it, I don’t feel like doing it at that time lol.

  516. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    goodgirl come on over, pick up Jai on your way and we will have a girls day out!!

  517. raine says:

    Hi Gail! Sorry I missed you last night. How was the jazz festival?

    As far as tweaking one’s profile, I have to do mine *yet again*; unsure what the outcome will be then.

  518. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I have my parents dog here, babysitting her. My dog is so jealous. My son was playing with my mom’s dog and mine gets right in between them and pushes my son away and climbs all over him, he keeps doing it. Its too funn

  519. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Pink Daisy —-

    “I’m a happy-go-lucky, open minded girl – never the type to pre-judge people.”

    To indulge the discussion of “semantics”….. if you never PRE-judge people does that mean that you judge them AFTER you get to know them?

    I’m sure not, and most people won’t even catch the distinction, but maybe just say you are “non-judgmental”….

  520. Gail says:

    Morning goodgirl,

    I hate it when my lappie freezes up. She almost died a couple months back on her birthday. I was fortunate to get a good software program to clean her up. She is now 1 year and two months old. In the same month one of my phones drowned in the toliet, and the other one got lost…this happened different times while I was shopping at Macys…ohh…the world of technology.

  521. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Pronounced KEEN-WA…. it’s an “ancient grain”… considered a ‘complete protein’…. and contains all nine essential amino acids. YUM!

    Well, Gail…. don’t curse me ! haven’t fallen on my rollerblades since 1991, and NEVER on my bike… god forbid… although a few times coming down bluffs at 48mph I was REALLY scared… survived tho, to live another day! x

  522. goodgirl*313749 says:

    i’m comin over sweetred 😉
    my daughters out of town~ we’ll have a wacky sunday…send the kiddos away! lmao

  523. goodgirl*313749 says:

    *goosefoot~ totally new to me 🙂 is it like cereal?

  524. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Yiks “pot of coffee” sounded like I was making something else lmao

  525. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    goodgirl, good thing I made my own pot lol

  526. goodgirl*313749 says:

    ugh! something happened to my new computer and i got frozen! had to re-start, and blah, blah… i had some pretty insightful stuff to say, but by the time i got back, you guys had already covered it all… and soooo much more! lol
    i had some coffee for you sweetred, but i got irritated and drank it 🙂
    morning gail 🙂
    JQ~ you’re so good… 😉
    villa~ what the heck is quinoa?? …*google-ing*

  527. Gail says:

    LOL…Villa…be careful whatever you decide to do. You are the most active SB I know. I will have some band-aids ready in case of any boo-boos… : )

    Now tell me…. what is quinoa? I am starving right now…but going to save my appetite for a bbq this afternoon.

  528. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Much better Pink Daisy 🙂

  529. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hi Gail!!!!

    It’s beautiful here as well… I’m eating some quinoa and deciding if I want to bike or rollerblade this afternoon… might take advantage of the fact the wind isn’t 40mph and go biking 🙂

  530. raine says:

    Yes, johnq’s so blunt, in fact, I’m trying to book a photo shoot via camera phone!~lol[do I have enough makeup?]

  531. Gail says:

    Good Morning Sugars : ) It’s a beautiful day in Northern Cali : ) The sun is shining and a nice cool breeze…perfect for the Jazz Festival this weekend.

    Weclome new sugars : ) Putting together a profile is not easy…just look at mine. I haven’t touched it in awhile. The more you tweak it each time can change the outcome. JohnQ’s feedback is honest and direct : ) There is nothing like a SD point of view to help a SB along. Personally, I appreciate honesty and directness. I find it quite refreshing versus someone not telling the truth.

    Greetings Villa!!! You and I come here in spurts…lol….what have you been up to?

    Oh SRed….what a bummer…I hate having to pay for car repairs. When a car keeps milking you regularly…it’s time to buy a new car. Now a days they come with wonderful warranties, that include oil changes, tow service forever. I love having not to worry whether I am go break down : )

  532. Pink Daisy - 336652 says:

    Ha thats what I was worried about – though I must admit I am slightly ditsy! Have made a few changes.. what do you think? x

  533. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Bob kept me up till 3:30 this morning and the bugger is probably still sleeping! Getting a BIG water bucket and dumping it on him!! Remember to talk real loud when he gets here, he will probably have a hang over lmao

  534. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Thanks, JohnQ. I knew I liked you.

  535. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    The loving pink does make you sound VERY young lol and a little ditsy 🙂

  536. johnq says:


    I love semantics in the morning. Very sexy.


  537. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I was very lucky to meet a great SD my first time out. But I screen. I did meet a few before him that were only out for sex or a relationship as a girlfriend, which I am not looking for. You learn from your mistakes. That is what is great about this blog. You can learn from others mistakes before you make your own. I met the other men before I found the blog.

  538. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I totally agree with johnq. You can always count on him to look at EVERYTHING and give good advice 🙂 Sometimes very bluntly which is not always a bad thing.

  539. Pink Daisy says:

    thank you for the advice sweetred! I just read it back and totally understand your point! I was worried the animal part and the part about loving pink because I didn’t want to come across as some dumb barbie.. because I’m really not! Im just a sucker for pretty much anything and everything pink, why? I have no idea! has anyone got any interesting sugar tales to tell!? or stories about first time sugar? x

  540. johnq says:


    Profile comments: your picture is completely washed out. Maybe you’re doing that on purpose to hide your identity, but it looks kind of ugly. There are better ways to include a picture but still be discreet. And if you’re actually trying to show what you look like, it isn’t working. I’d get one or more new pictures.

    The amount is relatively high. I don’t know what the market is like in Canada, but my suspicion is you’re going to lose a large percentage of potentials right there. If that’s what you need to get by, OK, but it’s a lot of money and I suspect you’re going to have trouble with it.

    The married thing has been discussed above, but I think it’s more problematic in your case than most. The married SB profiles I’ve seen appear to be looking for a discreet affair plus some spending money. That’s not something I’d be that interested in, but it makes sense and I’m sure there are SDs who would actually prefer that type of situation, since the SB has a strong incentive to be discreet.

    Your profile is more difficult to figure out, since you criticize your marriage and you’re asking for enough money to live on. The impression is that you’re looking for a way out of your marriage, and you’d like an SD to subsidize that.

    In my opinion, an SD would be insane to even consider that type of situation, since there’s a high probability of extreme drama, including divorce proceedings, the SD’s identity coming out, the husband’s lawyer contacting the SD’s wife, etc.

    I think you should be honest about the fact that you’re married, but drop any reference to how much you hate the marriage, and rework your profile so it looks like you’re looking for a discreet affair. Then, if and when you leave your husband, change your status to “separated,” and no one will think twice about it.


  541. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Great!! the tranny just went out on my car. I can’t afford to fix that and can’t afford a new care ughhhh Just when things where going so well for me.

  542. raine says:

    Mornin’, sugar fans (and a hearty welcome to the newbies).

    Silly, if I may address this:

    ~I think it’s very difficult to be cut and dry and say ON your profile that NO sex will be involved. You’re kinda restricting yourself !! what if you meet a great guy and you want to jump him ? you’d look kind of silly ! lol~

    The choice may be restricting, but it’s not impossible or difficult. You have a point about the temptation to jump a guy down the line (again, not impossible), but I myself (and perhaps many others) can shut that down in nanoseconds with my superhuman self-control.

  543. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Pink Daisy usually within 24 hours it get’s approved.

  544. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Pink Daisy I would tone down the animal lover part, you will get some really bad emails on that. and I would tone down the dance like an idiot lol. The rest is great 🙂

  545. Silly says:

    perfect, thanks ! changed it

  546. Pink Daisy says:

    336652 my photos are yet to be approved! how long do you think it will take? I have a message already and cant read it yet! 🙁 x

  547. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    VillaCypris is right there is a lot of great information on old blogs. If you have the time it will be a great benefit to look those over.

  548. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Silly leave the married part in there yes. Better to be open and honest.

  549. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Silly — yes, I would include that you are married…. that is a “material fact” which should be disclosed up front… in my opinion.

  550. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Pink Daisy Welcome 🙂 post your profile number and we will be happy to give you some sugar advice 🙂 Ask anything, we are very open here.

    My advice to a new sugar is to know what you want. Stick to your standards, never settle. Talk to a potential sd and find out what they too are looking for.

  551. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Welcome Pink and Silly

    The best advice I can give you is to go back and start reading the old blogs…. anything you can possibly think of has already been addressed/discussed in previous threads. There is a lot of valuable information contained therein!


  552. Silly says:

    should I include that I am married ? just don’t have the leaving part in there..

  553. Silly says:

    Hi Pink.. also new here hoping to get some great advice !

  554. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    No I was separated before I came here. I think Sd will not look you up because of your statement about married and wanting to leave, they will think you are looking for a replacement. Personally I would leave that part out of your profile.

  555. Pink Daisy says:

    hi sugars! 🙂 new to the world of sugar. Wondered if anyone had any sugar advice and profile advice! x

  556. Silly says:

    thanks SweetRed.. so can I ask if you came on the site while still married and then left ? that’s what i’m looking to do.. been married 16 yrs

  557. Jai says:

    At his request, I submitted an essay AND proposal to my SD about why a day trip would be nice today…he still wont go lol Waste of ink and paper. Looks like I’ll be hitting it solo. 😛 I need more friends lol

    Off to shower 🙂

  558. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hola sweetred!

  559. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I see another married Sb discussion coming on lmao

  560. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Good Morning everyone. Uggg give me COFFEE too please!!

    Welcome Silly 🙂

  561. Silly says:

    Hey Goodgrl.. thanks ! profile 330786

  562. goodgirl*313749 says:

    hi jai! i got the same message and lost what i had written… 🙁
    thanks for the tip about addy…
    silly~ there’s almost always really great advice here. you’ve come to the right place! whats your profile #? i’ll look over it for ya if you’d like. …above all safety 1st. make sure you know exactly what you want from a relationship like this and stick to it. being an sb is super fun!

  563. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hi Jai!

    I was getting that, too, at first. But no longer…

  564. Jai says:

    I keep getting a page saying I am posting too fast. I had to change my email address to post something.

    Hey gg! How are you? 🙂

  565. Jai says:

    Good morning all! 🙂

  566. goodgirl*313749 says:

    ah ha! i see how you all are 😉 …waking up at once!
    i wanna go to the sugarblog meet!!! ..send me a ticket, i’ll be right there. lol
    ambiguities and silly~welcome to the blog!!
    jessica and villa~doing well, thank you! 🙂
    got my coffee~~~ and baileys!

  567. Silly says:

    good morning ! so any advice for new SB’s ?
    I haven’t had any luck yet and wondering if maybe I need to change my profile or budget amt that i’m looking for etc..

  568. Jessica says:

    mah, missed an “r”, blaming my keyboard that has been acting very strange lately

  569. Silly says:

    Ok, so really new to this.. not even sure if I’m posting in the right area !
    first off, GREAT blog !! I’m learning sooo much !
    so sexless sugar ? I think it’s very difficult to be cut and dry and say ON your profile that NO sex will be involved. You’re kinda restricting yourself !! what if you meet a great guy and you want to jump him ? you’d look kind of silly ! lol

  570. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    I guess I’ll go back to being a dumb blonde so as to not shut down the blog.

    Sounds fun, Jessica! Always good to spend time with family.

  571. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    See…. case in point…. Jessica is going to “torture” her family with garlic dressing….. that’s an example of “lexical ambiguity”…. it has more than one meaning in the English language…. and it’s UNambiguous meaning must be determined in context…

    Hmmmm… thanks for bringing that up! Haven’t thought about this since college… 🙂

  572. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Stormcat – why do you say ambiguity is generally something to be avoided? It’s widely used in philosophy, linguistics, physics, art, music, mathematics…. ?

  573. Jessica says:

    sounds really nice with a little blog getogether

    anyone got exciting plans for tonight? i’m just gonna tortue my family with my extra-hot garlic dressing, very interesting life huh

  574. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Thanks Ambiguities! Cheers!

    I, on the other hand, prefer “ambiguity”…. the proverbial “grey area” in which things are fluid, malleable, adaptable, flexible… perhaps it is personality dependent and reflects one’s needs with regards to freedom or stability, safety or risk… etc.

  575. Ambiguities says:

    Villa: *coffee cheers to yah!* – giggles

    Stormcat: Embedded message- oddly enough I HATE ambiguity- and usually use the name Ambiguities Kiss. Last year it seemed I was getting more of it than I wished to expereince. Nothin’ gets by you does it! 🙂

  576. Stormcat says:

    Hey Ambiguities, VillaCypris, Jessica
    Jessica – not really a blogmeet as it’s only beachgirl and I but it would be really great if others want to join us. Montreal, wed or thurs.
    Ambiguities – interesting name. Ambiguity is usually something to be avoided. Is there an embedded message there?

  577. Jessica says:

    stormcat – are you setting up a sugarblog meeting? way to go!

  578. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hi Stormcat ~ wow! Sounds exciting… !

    Yes, Ambiguities… I have some as well!

  579. Ambiguities says:

    Coffee anyone? *pours a big cup*

    Good morin’

  580. Stormcat says:

    Good Morning Y’all,
    Things are shaping up for this to be an awsome weekend. Yesterday was a grueling kayak run on a newly opened section of the river. My buddy and I ended up doing three rescues, kayakers who shouldn’t have been on that water. Then one member of our party dumped on a tough rapid and lost her paddle. So I gave her mine and John and I split his into two and went down the rest of the trip (about 5 Miles) with a half paddle each. What a trip! Much harder to maneuver with one blade. Quick moves are not possible, less leverage on the strokes, no indicators for blade orientation. By the time we got down, though, we had the hang of it. A good lesson, really changed the way I think about the boat and the current. Weather’s supposed to be good again this afternoon and tomorrow, so we’ll try for two more runs. I’m psyched as that means it’ll be a 3 run weekend! Then 2 sugar dates and hopefully a cool bonus that, I’ll get to meet beachgirl.
    Life is good!

  581. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hi JohnQ

    No, I haven’t used any of the search parameters this morning, so haven’t noticed….

    always a “work in progress”… on here…

  582. johnq says:

    They apparently did some work on the site last night, but screwed it up. Last login times now show up in PDT rather than EDT, which is nice (I’m in California), but the Most Recently Logged In filter on Advanced Search no longer works correctly. Instead, it appears to be doing the same thing as the Newest Profile filter.

    I’m wondering if anyone else has noticed any other changes, and if they’ve introduced other bugs.


  583. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Good morning goodgirl and Jessica! How are you two?

    It’s a GORGEOUS morning in Minneapolis…. 60 and sunny! 🙂

  584. Jessica says:

    GG: just fine, little tired from last nights caffeine frenzy (seriously, i didn’t know coffee could give so much energy), reorganized my entire wardrobe, haha.

    Any luck with sds?

  585. goodgirl*313749 says:

    hi jessica 🙂 how are you today?

  586. Jessica says:

    Lisa, yeah i can’t see why they even post on this site. And what’s up with those (2 out of 5) who in their second e-mail asks me if I’d do anal? Gahhh!

  587. goodgirl*313749 says:

    Good morning! anybody up yet?

  588. lisa says:

    Gotta love those emails Sweetredhead

    some of my favorites taken from sugardaddy profiles:

    “If you’re looking for a sugardaddy, i’m not the one”

    “If you’re looking for someone to give you money, look somewhere else”

    “no money will ever exchange hands”

    “I can’t give money directly but will pay a couple bills for you online”

    “I’m looking for my soulmate”

  589. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone

    Getting ready to leave for work so I can sit in the breakroom for 45 minutes. Damn sunday bus service sucks.
    Good luck on work gurlnextdoor as retail does suck, mine not as much as previous jobs but still.
    Have a good day everyone, looking forward to quitting time already.

  590. bob says:

    You have mail

  591. bob says:

    we need to plan a SB/SD trip. A real one. No Bullshit.

  592. bob says:

    all the kids. we are just parents in the big picture

  593. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Bob did you pass out?

  594. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    You just put a new spin on sugar dating lmao

  595. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Oh sure and you want me to go to watch your kids lol

  596. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    oh yes I remember and your short fat and bald 🙂

  597. bob says:

    putting togather a racing team. its a guy thing

  598. bob says:

    my profile says i work at wal-mart and live with my parents

  599. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    What exactly will you be doing?

  600. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    bob are you trying to get me into trouble with you lol

  601. bob says:

    yes i am drunk enough for it

  602. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Not sure you should admit to sb’s that when your drunk you give away money lmao

  603. bob says:

    and red when i do this you have to go. I will have my kids there which are younger then yours and you will have your boys there. it is the biggest guy thing ther is

  604. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    And you were drunk enough to fall for it lmao

  605. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Sorry was picking up the house. My parents are stopping by in the morning dropping of their dog. I am babysitting while they go to naples for my cousins sons wedding

  606. bob says:

    something as kids we talled about….about 3000K stock. from cali. to mex. but as men we need to do this. as I was told tonight.

  607. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    What is a baja 500 team ?

  608. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Sorry yes I am here

  609. bob says:

    sweetredhead are you there

  610. bob says:

    well I am drunk an I commiteeted to sponsering a baja 500 team tonight

  611. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Lmao Bob your a nut 🙂 a lovable nut but a nut 🙂

  612. bob says:

    sweetred do not talk about us please

  613. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Ok remember I told you I emailed some men to come introduce themselves on the blog. I did it NOT to bring attention to myself but to get some SD’s here to join us. So this one guy sends me this back

    what gave you the impression I needed or wanted help or that i’m on a sugar search? Or did you include random presumptions in a generic notice intended to steer people to a page where they would likely notice you?

    and here is my reply lol 🙂

    Well lets see you are on a sugar daddy site, you would think that would give me a small clue.
    I do not need to get attention. I tend to stay in the background. I have had to much attention from men all my life, thank you very much.

    As for choosing to write to you obviously that was a mistake because one thing we do not need on the blog is a pompous ass.

    Enjoy your evening 🙂

  614. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Thanks Ababy80 Funny to see myself repeated. Yiks!! But that is so true.

  615. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    OMG you will never believe the email I got from this pompous ass! and I very nicely told him so too.

  616. Ababy80 says:

    not to beat the dead horse bbuuuuuttt…

    “sweetredhead*269443* Says:

    SFsuga that is somewhat what I have said before about a married man. I am actually helping them stay together by filling his need with out him sleeping with many woman. Safe, clean and satisfied lol”

    I was with a married man once and I told him before we got involved that it would do one of two things for his marriage – make them grow stronger, or tear them apart. No matter what it would make him truely gauge his life from another persons eyes and AHAH!! maybe his wife ISNT so bad

  617. Ambiguities says:

    Good evening everbody!

  618. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Night lisa, I’m gonna hit the sack too now I think. I have work again after 3 months of being happily jobless and I have to mentally prepare myself for the horrors of retail tomorrow morning.

  619. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Night katrina. 🙂

    SFSuga I think that’s what I’m going to tell him, and I’ll try to be as nice about it as possible lol. I just don’t want to come off sounding demanding (which I haven’t been yet). I mean he’s a nice guy and we really are looking for the same things in an arrangement, so it’d be a shame for me to lose him because I came off sounding like a high maintenance brat. So thanks. 🙂

  620. lisa says:

    Good night I’ve got to get to bed, gotta get up early tomorrow to work.

  621. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    I’m with katrina on this one, lisa. I’d meet with the potential SD most definitely since the other one seems to only want to meet with you when it’s convenient for him to do so. He’s already proven that you’re not too high on his priority list by standing you up not once, but THREE times! Not to mention he seems to be kind of wishy washy on what he wants (one minute he says no, next minute he says maybe). So yeah I’d definitely go with the potential SD first.

  622. katrina says:

    Lisa you take such a practical approach and break it all down so logically. I am hoping that this will be a win-win situation for you! : )

    Good night, All.

  623. lisa says:

    I would like to meet the potential sd for lunch and then see my sd (who would be coming over to my apt anyway) in the late afternoon. But he does’t like to drive in the evening so he might want to meet earlier. The potential wants to meet and get to know me first before providing spoiling so I’m a little reluctant that I might end up wasting my time with him.

  624. lisa says:

    not really Katrina becaue I usually end up with nothing when I have them all come in at once. I only have tues eve, thurs eve, and friday and no one can meet for dinner on tues or thur, both want friday and It will be hard to juggle them without the other knowing.
    I don’t want to give up the chance to get the sd back but I don’t want to cancel meeting the potential to see the sd when he might cancel at the last minute like he has done the last 3 times. He is legit though and paid me an entire month’s allowance on our second date.

  625. katrina says:

    Lisa – Seriously I think that I would maybe make the pot SD the priority since the other SD has already proven unreliable. Still – a nice problem : )

  626. katrina says:

    lol Lisa when it rains, it pours. What a nice problem to have : )

  627. lisa says:

    Of course I have to bring up the fact that he has to drive to meet me for lunch as I have no car and cannot drive to his town. He said we could pick a place later in the week. I’ve already picked the only place that will work for me.

  628. lisa says:

    They all seem to come at once and there is no time to meet everyone this week and then next thing you know you have no prospects.

  629. lisa says:

    I just don’t want to cancel with the potential to see the sd and then have the sd cancel again and then end up with no date and vise versa, I don’t want to cancel the sd to meet a new guy who might not mount to much

  630. lisa says:

    ok this potential that i’m emailing just emailed me about meeting for lunch friday. this may be an issue since my sd might want to see me then. The sd has cancelled our last 3 dates and broke off with me this past tuesday because of distance although he still prefers me. He emailed me today said he’d like to see me again on one of my days off which this week the only day I have free to meet is friday. I have tuesday and thurs evenings and offered them to both sd and potential and they both picked friday. I could meet the potential for lunch and the sd later in the afternoon (keep in mind I made a plan to meet the potential for lunch before my sd reinstated his interest in me. I want to keep hold of my sd because I know he is for real and knows what is involved and I dont’ want to miss a date with him just to meet a potential that may or may not work out.

  631. lisa says:

    Well this is an arrangement site and any guy who doesn’t understand the financial part is on the wrong site. Just bring it up to him since he has already tried to be intimate with you. And trips are nice, but if you’re like me, you really need the money more.
    Just tell him you need to try things out with him too, see that he is serious as it is only fair if you give to him that he gives to you and don’t let he try to convince you that the sex is mutual as men do that do get away without paying. A woman doesn’t have to join a site to get sex, this site is about more. If he wants to wait on the allowance then make him wait on the intimate part, plan all dates to take place in public only and concentrate on really getting to know him through talking, if that’s what he really wants to do, if he’s just after sex,then he will lose interest.

  632. SFsuga says:

    GND: Tell him you don’t want to be taken advantage of and you wouldn’t feel right about being intimate with him without getting an allowance first.

  633. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Lisa sounds like a good day in my book. Spending time with family and eating a good chicken, sounds pretty good to me. 🙂

    Everyone I need your opinion on something though. If a SD wants to test drive an arrangement before really committing (ex. giving you an allowance) how do you nicely tell him that there will be no sex till you get some green, without sounding like a gold digger? I mean I’d love to have sex with him at some point, preferably sooner than later, but at the same time I don’t want to be taken advantage of. Any suggestions?

  634. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Lol yes lisa I know. SA is not a car lot where guys can test drive cars (SBs) until they find something they like. But, he is really nice and he did ask me about my summer plans for any vacations before hinting around to the fact that he wants to take some weekend trips this summer, so that’s a good sign.

    Katrina, I understand he’s being cautious about things which I actually like. He wants to make sure that things are good with me before committing to an arrangement, nothing wrong with that. But I must say, it would be nice to see that allowance sometime by the end of this week lol.

  635. katrina says:

    I would love to have no cookware! I would have more room for my books and keep them in my cabinets. : )

  636. lisa says:

    I don’t really know how to cook and actually have no cookware. I don’t even have dishes as it’s impossible to drag that stuff home on foot or on the bus, it’s too heavy, lol
    I bought some of the banquet chicken and put it in the oven and we had chips and dip. Played bingo with parents (not for money as they don’t gamble) and spent time with my daughter. Going to see them again on Monday. We rarely can spend a day together because my daughter works during the week and is off on the weekend whereas I rarely have a sat or sun off. I usually work holidays when she is off too.

  637. katrina says:

    lisa – you always make me smile. : ) I am glad that you had a nice day with your family? Did you cook – I notice you like take-out. I live alone and eat a lot of take-out, too.

  638. lisa says:

    Glad your date went well gurlnextdoor and no do not give him his “allowance” until he shows you some “financial spoiling” Some guys might say they need a “test drive” but your aren’t a car, no on “tests’ a toothbrush or any other personal item before financially aquiring access to it. That sounds weird I know , lol

  639. katrina says:

    Hello, Everyone!

    GurlNextDoor – how nice! YAY he sounds like he is interested but cautious. Nothing untrustworthy about that.

    Clea – WilliamsSonoma is a thoughtful gift – now I think maybe he meant for you to keep it regardless. Whereas if he had gifted you with a gift certificate for Victoria’s Secret, I would return that.

  640. gurlnextdoor*274735* says:

    Hello all, tonight was another success. I just got back from my 2nd date with my potential SD and it was awesome. He took me to this nice restaurant in town that I had never been to. It was very intimate with this guy there playing soothing jazz on his sax. I had shrimp and grits, one of my favourite southern dishes, while he had salmon with steak and asparagus on the side. After dinner, we went to his house and watched some tv. He tried to slyly get me to have sex but when I told him no, he just backed off and we cuddled and kissed some while watching TV and talking. He said he wants to have a one week run before committing to a long term arrangement which is fine by me. But in the meantime he won’t be getting the goods if I’m not getting an allowance, but I think he’s ok with that. One must give sugar to receive some sugar of their own. 😉

  641. Jessica says:

    Just gotta say hpw happy I am, I’ve spoken to 4 sds and they’re all so nice, I honestly hought there would be more bad seeds here


  642. Clea says:


    Thank you!

    Yes, he is a very thoughtful guy, I like him very much. Just don’t want to sleep with him.

  643. lisa says:

    Have fun Gail! Nice to catch you on the blog as we seem to always miss each other, lol

  644. Gail says:

    Thanks SRed…I plan on it : ) Its always fun to be out with great food and music…plus the weather is warm with a nice cool breeze.

    Clea-I agree with JQ….that was real thoughtful of your date. Now you really got to get to cooking : )

    In regards to the topic….I love both….SEX and MONEY : ) plus…I am great with both….LOL…..Everyone have a great evening.

  645. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    bbl have to spend time with the boys. It’s game night 🙂

  646. Gail says:

    Hello Raine : ) Long time since we have been on here together. You don’t need a dictionary, you spell perfectly. All people need to do nowadays is use spellcheck. Sometimes I read some of the post here and chuckle.

    Clea and Pather- I always look forward to a great meal. It’s wonderful to go to restaurant that I normally could not afford. I too agree, it’s not nice for a SB to use a SD for just that.

  647. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I think he was just trying to be thoughtful also, he sounds like a very nice man. Too bad you didn’t feel a connection with him.

  648. johnq says:


    Nope. Not me. You sound like a lovely person, but I’m pretty sure we haven’t met.

    I was just wondering what kind of message he was trying to send with the certificate, but it sounds as if he was just being thoughtful.


  649. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    have fun at the jazz concert Gail.

  650. lisa says:

    Yes he said he wanted to see me again. I just hope he doesn’t cancel on me as he’s done that 3 times. I have 2 potentials to juggle and possibly meet too and not alot of time as 2 of my days off this week will be busy with family.

  651. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Back from my shower, all squeaky clean and shaved smooth as a babies bottom lmao. ok maybe I just should have said back lol

  652. Gail says:

    Hi Lisa : ) I am doing great. I have been really busy with work, but finally getting out tonite. I am excited about your date with your SD…I knew he would miss you. How could he not….you are a wonderful, kind and special SB : ) I know…..

  653. lisa says:

    Hi Gail, long time no see, How are you tonight?

  654. Gail says:

    Lisa and kinky? unbelieveable…Sweetred,Yes…Lisa, No….

    Hello everyone!!! Just stopped in for a minute. Getting ready to go to the Jazz Festival tonite : )

    I see everyone is still here : ) Have a wonderful holiday!!!!

  655. Clea says:

    Hi Panther-

    Yes, it catches up with their waistlines LOL

  656. Panther SD says:

    Clea –

    Hello! In regards to what you said I have heard of women who go on dates for the free meals. Sad….. it catches up with them in the long run.

  657. Clea says:


    I have friends who go on blind dates with men once or twice a week for the free dinners. Guys they have no intention of ever seeing again. and they order the most expensive thing on the menu. They are silly IMO and trust me, they don’t need the free dinners~ if they skipped a few meals it would not hurt them

    JohnQ- it was for Williams Sonoma because he knew I love kitchenware and needed a few things. Why do you ask? Are you worried I was one of your SB dates LOL.

    Sweetredhead- 5 is a good number, mine is in the double digits but I won’t say which double digit 😉

  658. Panther SD says:

    Back for a hot second… wow did know a lot of people got on over the weekend. What have I been missing? 🙂

  659. lisa says:

    this was waaay back when I was involved with a pretty kinky guy. It only happened once and will not happen again. Only interested in one on one now.

  660. raine says:

    Maybe you’re right, sweetredhead: I don’t know why I didn’t type just plain ole “of substance”. I’ll be glad when I find both of my blasted dictionaries!lol

  661. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I am also going to go shower, bbl

  662. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Lisa I have also done a 3some but it was with 2 men and me 🙂 Lucky me!

  663. lisa says:

    I’m going to hop in the bath now
    Be back later 🙂

  664. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I made a awesome sauce!! if I do say so myself lol.

    I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never, never let you forget your a man, cause I am a woman!! lmao

  665. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I think it is substantial lol.

  666. raine says:

    *snickering at “dinner whores”* self-explanatory,I know, Clea, but please enlighten me when you get the chance. *snort* 😀

    Sorry, being silly right now. I’ll figure out something a little more substantive* to write shortly.

    *I’ve always wanted to use this word; am I using same in the proper context?

  667. lisa says:

    lol I just thought with funny hearing that from a long time ago. lol

  668. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I am having a BBQ/pool party at my house on monday with family and friends. But the rest of the weekend is still up for negotiation lol

  669. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    lmao SFsuga I was really only with 5. But they were very experienced and taught me so much. I actually thank them 🙂

  670. lisa says:

    Sweetredhead I had a good visit with my family but am glad to be alone again. We played bingo, watched a movie, ate, etc. I will spend monday with them too and we will take a walk to the store. This week is giving me some opportunity to spend some time with them since my daughter and I are never off on the same days from work. Hoping to squeeze in a sugar meeting this week too. Might see my sd and have a couple potentials too. Will have to be dinner meets though since my days off are already taken, but 6 is not too late to meet.

  671. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Well I have short red hair lol. Was long forever!! Needed a change and I love it 🙂 I DO NOT have a hot temper lol. I am easy going. Not your typical red head. except in the bedroom, but we won’t go into that!!

  672. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I can’t say that, I married a great guy, not a lot of money but a great guy and excellent father. We have just grown in different directions.

  673. lisa says:

    Beware of the girl with the long red hair
    A man is safer in the electric chair lol I heard this on an old radio program tape I have from the 40’s 🙂

  674. SFsuga says:

    Oh and when a man asks you how many guys you’ve been with, tell them 5 no matter what the truth is. And never ever tell a white guy you’ve been with a big black man. That will make him insecure.

  675. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    SFsuga that is somewhat what I have said before about a married man. I am actually helping them stay together by filling his need with out him sleeping with many woman. Safe, clean and satisfied lol

  676. lisa says:

    I’ve had 7 men and one woman(threesome long time ago) and I was only married one of them so it’s no different. My longest relationship is the one I have now with the married man of 4 years. I was raised to believe sex outside of marriage was wrong and my family would look down on any relationship I had so I keep them discreet so to me it;s no worse to have a sugar relationship than it is to have an affair for free. I’m a businesswoman to some extent, and have taken a break from giving my heart and body to men whom I desire a committed relationship with only to have my heart broken and dumped and have nothing but a broken heart to show. In sugardating at least I can look at what my financial gifts have bought me.

    Oops there goes my saintly image too Sweetredhead, lol

    Actually although my family disaproves of my affair, they actually like the guy i’m seeing now because they realize I could and have done alot worse, as at least my guy has a master’s degree and is a sucessful businessman, not some scum like I married.

  677. SFsuga says:

    Red, That’s incredible. Five guys your whole life? I guess that makes sense since you were married for half of it. It’s fun being a slut, but you have to always use protection or else you’re just a stupid slut. And of course you have to lie to your girlfriends about your sex life or else they won’t like you anymore.

  678. johnq says:


    The certificate was a gift, freely given. You’re under no obligation to return it. Beyond that, I think you’re handling this right.

    As a matter of curiosity, what store was the gift certificate for?


  679. SFsuga says:

    About the married man situation: I think an emotional affair is far worse than a physical affair. A man may still love his wife and kids, but just want to get his rocks off with another woman. When it turns into a lifetime channel movie is when the man falls in love with the other woman and leaves his wife with no money and three kids.

    That’s fucked up. And I would never allow my SD to do that to someone else. In a way I feel like I’m helping the marriage because it gives them one less thing to fight about.

  680. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    But you know what they say about redhead 🙂 All fire lol

  681. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I am losing my good girl image on this site lmao. My friends would never believe me lmao

  682. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I have slept with 5 men my entire life lmao and I am 40!!! and was married for 20 yrs.

  683. Clea says:

    Thank you Lisa for pointing that out. It’s a little more complicated than that but what you say is true. For my entire life I would not be with a married man and am only considering it now because of my situation. I don’t feel good about it, but I understand why men (and women) have extramarital affairs.

  684. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Yiks!! no one is saying there is not money or sex involved. We all know that goes hand in hand. What we were discussing is having sex JUST for the money. That is something I will not do. If you are some one who does I think there is a very fine line that is being crossed there. But as I said that is my opinion. And you have yours and nope NOT gonna judge 🙂

    I think we just went backwards there lol.

    Anyway HI LISA!!! how was your day?

  685. SFsuga says:

    Lisa: Amen sister! And don’t think men won’t give you the whole Madonna/ Whore complex just to get what they want for free. I was a mega-slut during my freshman year of college. I once slept with three different guys in one weekend! Now, I only sleep with one man and he pays me for it. Which is worse? Maybe there both bad. Either way, I am a total slut. Men are never sluts, they’re players.

    Clea: Girl, $150 is nothing! Go spend that giftcard and enjoy yourself. Sometimes it takes a gift like that to get you to do something nice for yourself for a change.

  686. lisa says:

    SFSuga I have a whole drawer full of fishnets and hosiery, help yourself 🙂

    Don’t let anyone put you down. Most of us women on here are open to having a sugar relationship with a married man so it’s no worse, being the other woman whether it’s an affair or sugar is really wrong and a sin, so why is everyone so critical, none of us are angels on here.

  687. lisa says:


    Money is always good no matter what you have to do to get it. You can work your butt off at a job and still struggle (I do). What you do to survive is your own business and anyone who passes judgement, well they should have came and paid your rent for you. Let’s be realistic, how many 60 year old men out there can really connect with a woman in here 20’s? They would be more compatible with a woman their age but they are looking for something exciting just as the younger woman is looking for something excitiing. Having a much older sd is one thing and being married to one is another. This site is not about serious relationships, it’s about temporary fun and financial benefit for women (well except for those who are looking for the love or their lives or the eastern european women who are looking to move to the US). Money is important and it has to be discussed before hand. I personally would rather be mistaken for bieng in a sex for money situation than be in a situation where I gave the guy what he needed and got nothing in return. The worst thing I would want to be called is “used for free” sex is sex and it doesnt’ matter whether someone pays for it or is a hoe and sleeps with everyone for nothing.

  688. Clea says:


    I definitely did not ask for the gift. Nor would I ever even hint at expecting a gift. I consider that distasteful. Matter of fact when he mentioned it I discouraged it. I was perfectly happy to just have dinner with him and get to know him. I never expect a gift on the first date and usually just want to have coffee but I let him take me out to dinner. Even when I go to dinner I am an inexpensive date and don’t drink and dinner for me usually means a $20 date. I absolutely hate women who are dinner whores and I usually offer to pay half except in the case of a SD where it would be ridiculous.

    When he gave me the gift it was a gift certificate for ($150). I am not sure if I gave the impression it was more like $500. I would imagine to someone with millions $150 is not that big a deal. So I went on the date not knowing who he was or if he was my type and was misled about his age but that’s fine. A lot of men do it and I almost expect it these days.

    We had a wonderful time at dinner, I think he enjoyed my company and I enjoyed his. There just was no chemistry on my part and I can’t be physical with someone I am not attracted to. I am not that good an actress. That said, I would hang out with him any time if he wanted a companion but as this discussion has addressed, it’s most likely not what he is looking for. I don’t want to mislead him and go out again with him thinking this might go down that path.

  689. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Tell me why the men I have written to come join us on the blog, look at my profile? I am not writing to them for myself lol.

  690. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I lived in TN for 2 yrs when my husband was in the military, I loved it there. And before anyone jumps on the husband part lol he is still that, we are separated

  691. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    see you later Jai, get a nap!

  692. Jessica says:

    johnq: i agree with your view on gifts on the first date, but I must admit it is a very nice gesture to bring something i.e flowers or just a small gift, nothing expensive

  693. Jai says:

    Lol SFSuga. Peace 🙂

    TN? Who wants to live there? lol AZ is where it’s at…sort of…ok, not really 😛

  694. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    SFsuga lmao to funny. Have a good night 🙂

  695. Jai says:

    Ok, I’m really going to go this time. I have to work on that fake proposal before it’s too late lol 😀 Hopefully I’ll be conscious enough to check back in later. I feel like passing out on this keyboard right now as I ty bembjbobeiobeivpwr…sorry, I passed out with my face on the key board 😛 See? I’m starting to be corny, I’m definitely tired and definitely have to go lol

  696. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    If I moved to AZ I would know where to go for dinner 🙂

  697. SFsuga says:

    Well, I’m going to put on my fishnet stockings and walk to the nearest corner to make a buck for my ‘out’ day 🙂 Peace ladies and gents!

  698. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Never been to AZ.

  699. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Now if you said TN I would be there! lol

  700. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Been raining all week here in Florida. My hair is a mess of curls and doing it’s own thing!

  701. Jai says:

    Lol move to AZ Red 🙂

  702. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    hehe. I am trying to cook and keep up on the blog lol

    I want an “out” day too 🙁 darn it Jai move to Florida lol

  703. Jai says:

    It’s been raining in AZ, but it’s nice today. So if this keeps up, I want to go go go tomorrow. But go and be outdoors lol not indoors..I can stay here for that 🙂

  704. Jai says:

    Me and SFSuga are currently riding the same wave length lol it explains why she dug the word ‘sugarship’ 😀

    so there Red 😛 lol

  705. SFsuga says:

    I am having an ‘in’ day because it is so cold and cloudy outside. I should really try to get out though.

  706. Jai says:

    Lol! Red, you’re probably right. I want to power through, but blah.

    I wish some of you sugars were close. I want to do a ‘out’ day tomorrow. My SD told me to submit my proposal in writing lol so I’m going to do it even though he was joking. By out day, I mean a nice brunch, some site seeing, maybe a hike, a nice lunch lol, more site seeing, a nice drive, the end with a fantastic dinner.

  707. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Ok maybe I need a nap then, SFsuga understood you lmao

  708. Jai says:

    SFSuga-Glad I didn’t say too much and say nothing at all 🙂 You sound like you get fairly large allowances you lucky duck 🙂

  709. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    [email protected] go take a nap GF you not making sence lol

  710. SFsuga says:

    I like that word “sugarship”. Yeah that does make sense. He gives you what you need and you’re happy. That’s all that matters.

  711. johnq says:

    I wanted to respond to Clea’s post, but got sidetracked with this other controversy.

    Clea: did you explicitly or implicitly ask for the gift? If so, then you should think about returning it, since the guy might feel cheated that you extracted money from him and then disappeared. On the other hand, if he offered the money without any request from you, then it’s a gift and I see no reason why you should give it back. You’re free to do so, of course, if you feel guilty about rejecting him. But I don’t see any obligation on your part.

    Incidentally, I keep reading about women who expect “gifts” at the first meeting. As far as I’m concerned, that’s the equivalent of asking to be paid for a job interview. The point of the first meeting is so each party can figure out if there’s enough chemistry and mutual interest to proceed. If the woman is entitled to ask for compensation, then it should equally be true that the man should be able to ask for sex.

    And I don’t buy the argument that the man should pay because he’s taking up the woman’s time. The man’s time is just as valuable as the woman’s.

    On the other hand, by the second date there should be some fairly clear expectation about what’s going on. Letting things drag out without an explicit arrangement is, in my experience, a mistake.


  712. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    SFsuga I have said this before 🙂 I work and I make a good living on my own. I don’t need a SD I want a SD. I live comfortably. I just like to live above my means 🙂 So I guess what I am trying to say is I can be picky. I can search and take my time to find what I am looking for.

    But I do understand where you are coming from. It may not be something I would want to do, but I understand it 🙂 I really do try not to judge others and if I do (no one is perfect) I try to do better the next time 🙂

  713. Jai says:

    Red, we keep posting at the same time lol I’m going to start calling you Copycat 😛

  714. Jai says:

    Bye Maru 🙂

    SFSuga-My SD and I have an unconventional sugarship (that’s totally not a word lol) even by sugarship standards. I don’t have a set allowance, but am given whatever I ask for along with things I don’t have to..Does that make any sense? It’s weird, but it works for us. I’m terrible at negotiations and him, being the wonderful man he is, did not take advantage of that. Once we ‘decided’ to move forward lol he accommodated my my level of negotiation and took the lead. Ugh, that got wordy. Email me if that doesn’t make sense. I don’t want to bog the blog 🙂

  715. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    katrina will do 🙂 have a good one 🙂

  716. katrina says:

    Spaghetti sounds soooo good right now. Save some for me, SweetRed?

    I am out now, too. BBL : )

  717. Jai says:

    I’m supposed to be napping right now, but the blog snared me 🙂 I’m scared if I lay down, I wont want to type up my chemistry notes..but I went to sleep around midnight and got up at two so I probably need a nap lol The B-12 is not giving me a boost today.

  718. SFsuga says:

    I feel like I have to cut my expectations in half because of the economy. It totally sucks.

  719. SFsuga says:

    Jai: How much is your SD giving you?

  720. RedMaru*210789* says:

    it all depends on point of view in a nutshell
    Well I’m out sugars….
    Got to dry my footsies and beat the next wave of rain they say is coming in and call my mom who’s worried about me….awww. So I will see all of you later

  721. SFsuga says:

    Katrina, If I lived by your aunts words then I would be below the poverty belt.

  722. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    making my home made spaghetti sauce, so I am up and down, will catch up in a few.

  723. SFsuga says:

    SweetRed, that is a perfect arrangement. And I am proud to say that I am in a similar one right now except he gives me more than $500.

    The trolls I was with in the past gave me 5k or more a month. And because of that, I stayed with them. I had never had money like that before and I was being a total hooker.

    JQ, I think that the SD’s had some idea that I wasn’t head over heals for them and they were ok with that.

    I’m a former model and they were trolls. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s going on. Usually when I see a mismatched couple like this I think she’s either with him for money or drugs.

  724. katrina says:

    My aunt used to tell me, ‘Never do for money what you would never do.’

  725. Jai says:

    I think that’s what kinda of blurs it Red 🙂 You’re not doing it because of the money lol You would have done it regardless. People who outright prostitute tend to not care how you look, smell, or talk lol they’re just looking for the money. Like I said, depends on who’s holding the looking glass. One person sees hookers and another sees a mutually beneficial relationship in no way sullied by the connotations of prostitution 🙂

  726. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    SFsuga that’s great. Live and learn 🙂 that’s all we can do.

  727. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Let me tell you a little story 🙂 my first sd was a very nice, handsome and very sexy man. WE agreed on a $500 “gift” every time we met. Yes we did have sex after the 3rd date. But he gave me the money if we did or did not have sex. It was not a sex or no money thing. Would I consider that a fine line? yup!! But it worked for me and I enjoyed being with him. I would have had sex with him if there was no money evolved, so I guess that is how I justify it 🙂

  728. SFsuga says:

    Just for the record: I am in a SD/SB relationship with only one man and I really like him.

    In the past this was not the case and I will never put myself in that situation again.

    JQ: You can count on me being honest 100% of the time. I don’t sugar coat anything I say on this blog.

  729. Jai says:

    Lol Maru, Easy mistake. I do it all the time 😛

  730. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Whoa – so that’s what we missed don’t worry I missed it too.

  731. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Jai – yea I almost forgot about the inhaling part 😛 thanks for reminding me lol 😀

  732. Jai says:

    Thank you for making that clear JQ 🙂

    Maru, did you catch that? Johnny brought it down for us to read. I don’t know how I missed that.

  733. katrina says:

    I am smart enough and old enough to not believe in fairy tales but that does not mean I allow myself to be a hard shell. That would only block all the good. If ANY relationship is damaging to anyone, they should end it. Period.

    We are not judgmental on the blog as much as we are protective – of everone on the site.

  734. Jai says:

    Yay! Glad we could help Clea. Good luck 🙂

    And Maru, don’t forget to inhale too 😛

  735. johnq says:

    For those who for some reason can’t scroll up (or search down) to see what SFSuga originally said, here it is:

    “I have an SD right now who meets my monthly expectations and whom I actually like. This is new for me since I couldn’t stand my last few SD’s, but I put up with them because they paid my rent.”

    This is consistent with her later post, in which she tells us she “despised” one of her SDs and became “physically ill” when he called.

    So, SFSuga, you pretended to like someone, and had sex with him, despite the fact that you despised him and he made you physically ill.

    I never called you a prostitute. I have no idea whether you are or aren’t (though, for the record, the fact that you didn’t see more than two men at a time isn’t really dispositive on that question).

    Instead, you’re my idea of a nightmare SB: someone in a relationship entirely for the money, and willing to continue in the relationship as long as the payments keep coming, even though talking to the SD made you physically sick.

    Possibly you’re the only honest one here and everyone else is being hypocritical. If so, I prefer hypocrisy.


  736. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Thanks kat and jai for the votes of encouragement(breathing deeply)
    You’re right jai it shouldn’t be stressful, episode has passed….exhales

  737. Clea says:

    Thanks everyone for the great advice. It really helped.

  738. Jai says:

    Yep SFSuga lol if we get down to basic definitions, that is true. That’s why I can’t judge anyone 🙂

  739. Jai says:

    I love it when it’s like this Kat, it’s hard to keep up but fun to try! 🙂

    Calmate Maru 🙂 You were fine before you met him and you’ll be fine if he leaves. This is EXTRAcurricular, it shouldn’t be stressful on either side 🙂

  740. SFsuga says:

    Katrina: I have become jaded when it comes to men and relationships due to my experiences over the last two years with men from this site. I have seen countless men cheat on there wives so my view on marriage has been corrupted. I feel that I am unable to trust men and for a while I could not be with a man if I wasn’t getting anything in return. It’s a horrible feeling and if I could go back to being the sweet naive girl I was two years ago who believed in true love and fairytails I would.

    Jai: I would rather not be put into the hooker, prostitute, and escort category either, but everyone is entitled to their opinions and I respect that. But I’ll fess up and say what most of us do on this site isn’t much different except we’re not doing it 24/7.

  741. katrina says:

    Sweetred is a sweetie – read back on the blogs and anyone can see that.

    RedMaru – you are so cute. Just take some deep breaths and remember to be true to yourself. I really think that the SD has to kind of lead the way on this site as far as when to move ahead and then it would be up to you if you were ready or not. Don’t forget your power. : )

  742. RedMaru*210789* says:

    has anybody else ever had message anxiety…cause I think I’m having an episode. I don’t want to move too fast yet I would like this one to grow into a pot SD and I still rejection fear at the same time….aaaaugh

  743. katrina says:

    Hi Jai! Hi RedMaru!

    Jai – age is only a number. You and your SD seem pretty well suited but you already know that. : )

    Isn’t it great when everyone works their way to the blog at the same time? One big, happy family…

  744. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I am really nice person SFsuga 🙂 I just take offense sometimes to something I believe in. And sex for money is something I strongly disagree with.

  745. katrina says:

    Hi, Clea – I think if you are thinking and debating what to do, you are feeling guilty about keeping the gift. I will second almost everyone else’s opinion and say tell him how you feel. BUT I once had a boyfriend I was mad mad mad about – and it came out of nowhere. I mean, we met through a mutual friend and I did not even notice him. He asked me out every day for a week and I did not want to hurt his feeling but I was just NOT interested. Don’t you know I agreed to go out ONCE as friends and well, we all see where this is going….he won me over because he had such nice manners, was so considerate, intelligent, kind, thoughtful. All of that equaled sexy to me eventually. : )

  746. Jai says:

    Clea, age is nothing but a number unless you are grossed out by him lol you know your limits. I know everyone’s probably tired of reading this, but my SD and I are *swallows hard* 40 years apart in age lol but it sounds like you already know it’s not going to work 😉 just be honest honest honest

  747. RedMaru*210789* says:

    hi katrina!!!

  748. Jai says:

    Hey KAT! 😀

  749. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Very true Jai. I apologize SFsuga It’s a touchy subject.

  750. Clea says:

    Hi RedMaru, Jai and SFsuga-

    SFsuga- you are right, he did say he was just happy to meet me and enjoyed my company. But I think the right thing to do would be to be honest with him and offer to give the gift back and be prepared for him to accept the gift back but hope he won’t.

    Curious as to what the SDs think? Would you want the SB to offer to give the gift back? I think I will just tell him that the kind of arrangement he wants is not what I need right now. Plus our age difference is just too great for me. I am 43 and he said he was 60 but appears to be closer to 70

  751. Jai says:

    I don’t agree with that SFSuga lol we are all essentially trading services for money no matter how we approach it sooooooo we’d all be hookers/working women 😛 And I can’t bare to update my resume with that tidbit

  752. katrina says:

    Hi, All –

    Wow – lots of heated debate on the blog today!

    I have noticed that the majority of the SDs profiles do state they want CHEMISTRY so I doubt that they are bothering with this site in an effort to meet a pay-for-sex kind of girl.

    I can say that I would NEVER have an intimate relationship with anyone I don’t care what he has/owns. If the relationship costs me more than it costs him then it has NO value to me. I would rather work two jobs and cut my expenses.

    To me, this is a practical site that introduces SDs and SBs for a MUTUALLY beneficial relationship.

    Also – not to beat up on SFsuga but I don’t have any photos on the site and just make clear in my profile that I would like to meet someone with chemistry and I have had many responses to that. I am communicating nicely via email so they still donot know what I look like. Maybe I’m a dog and maybe I’m a beauty queen, or maybe I am like a million other girls in my looks. I think that if you don’t remain true to yourself, and make excuses in an effort to justify doing what you know you should not be doing, then you end up jaded and pay the price that way.

    Two jobs would be easier : )

  753. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Clea – my vote is for honesty also and let him decide if he wants it back like sweetred said

  754. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    We never said hooker lol, we said escort 🙂

  755. Jai says:

    Red, you are too much..proverbial lamb 😛

    SFSuga-I see. Well, who am I to judge? 🙂 Again, that’s why sugardom is great. It’s a learning and growing experience that will hopefully leave both parties enriched for having met and spent time together.

    Let’s all *HUG* and put down our pitch forks lol the blog is free expression, right? We shouldn’t beat up another sugar for being honest…we’re going to scare the lurkers and potential contributors away 😀

  756. SFsuga says:

    Ugh, Let’s just drop the whole prostitution debate and call me a part-time hooker. Ok?

  757. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Clea I would suggest you be perfectly honest with him and tell him what you have told us. I am sure he will appreciate the honesty. As for the Gift leave that up to him.

  758. SFsuga says:

    Hi Clea,

    I wouldn’t feel guilty about accepting a gift from that man. When you meet someone for the first time there should be no expectations on either side. It may not be what you’re used to, but these guys have money and a little gift here and there is nothing. He was probably just happy to be in your company.

  759. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Well said Jai 😀 !

  760. Jai says:

    Hi Clea 🙂 I haven’t had that happen, but your best bet is to be honest and, if necessary, give the gift back. If he’s a gentleman, he’ll understand and move on 🙂

  761. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    SFsuga being with men you dislike and having sex with them for money what do you call it? an SD/SB relationship? well I don’t feel that is what I would call it. But that is my opinion.

  762. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Hi clea welcome to the fold 😀

  763. Jai says:

    SFSuga 🙂 That’s what I was saying earlier. If I couldn’t see myself dealing with an SD if he was dirt poor, I’m ok with moving on. I never wanted this to be a job or a necessity. More like a chance for a new experience while I’m relatively young and my honey is still sticky lol I don’t mean honey sexually, but attractive, fun, etc etc

  764. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Besides Jai I was thinking more the proverbial lamb to slaughter lmao

  765. Clea says:

    Of course I meant to say thanks in advance. I am the world’s worst typist

  766. SFsuga says:

    Let me catch you up to speed,

    I outraged some people when I said that my first few SD relationships were immoral because I was just with them for the money. Redhead and JQ called me an escort even though I was only with one or two guys at a time.

  767. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I think it is the way she phrased it. Something we all have a dislike for and gives Sb’s a bad name. I think that is why we jumped on her.

    It sounded like she was prostituting herself for rent money. Being with an Sd she disliked and having sex with him. Something most of us would never do.

    But if that is not what she meant then it was just a misunderstanding

  768. Clea says:

    Hi y’all-

    Been lurking for a while but have a dilemma related to the current topic.

    I was corresponding with a pot SD for a while. I had no idea what he looked like until we met. Sex was never discussed, it seemed he was looking more for a companion. We had a nice first date over dinner and drinks, got along great but I have to be honest and say there was zero attraction on my part. He gave me a very nice gift at our first meeting and subsequent e-mails suggest he wants to go forward and I assume that means intimacy eventually.

    I don’t know quite how to tell him I am not attracted to him and feel so guilty now about accepting the gift. I could never be with someone I was not attracted to for any amount of money and I just hate hurting someone’s feelings. I hear what SFSUGA is saying, that worked for her, but I could never ever do that- be with someone just because they paid my rent.

    Have any of you had this dilemma where you went on a first date, received a generous gift and then determined you could not be intimate with the SD because of lack of attraction? I almost feel like I should return the gift but I guess it’s no different than a gal who goes on a first date with a guy who takes her out for a very nice dinner. I like the man very much and would want to be his friend but I highly doubt that is what he wants

    Uggh~ I hate this! I really don’t think I’d be any more attracted to him the more I got to know him.

    Tanks in advance for any advice from both SDs and SBs

  769. Jai says:

    Congrats Maru! 🙂 I allowed my SD to make the move. I was fortunate because he was very upfront and to the point.

  770. SFsuga says:

    I would never be with someone that I despised that much again. It got to the point where I would get physically ill every time he called. I was new to this and healing from a broken heart so I made some bad decisions.

    But I have to be a bitch and say that honestly guys, would you be with a girl who wasn’t young, beautiful, intelligent and sexy?

    Girls would you be with a guy who was twice your age, possibly married, and wrinkly if he wasn’t giving you any kind of compensation?

    Let’s get real here.

  771. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Jai – whatever you missed let me know I seemed to have missed it too….grumbles. I need to hurry up and get my Internet back in my apartment…huh?

  772. Jai says:

    SFSuga, what did you say up there? Lol I don’t think I’m looking at the right posts

  773. RedMaru*210789* says:

    My email conversation is progressing! The SD(who I hope will be a pot SD) who emailed me actually answered me back….cue tingly feeling and actually answered my question!!! Some advice you guys how many emails should I give it before going a step further as I know some SD’s don’t like back and forth emails and want to talk on the phone. Or let him make the move…eh?

  774. Jai says:

    🙂 JQ, I agree with you in that I would never position myself to judge any one. This all does flirt dangerously close to prostitution, depending on who’s holding the looking glass. Should I go up and read what SFSuga said? It seems she may have claimed to be the Sugar Messiah and is now being verbally crucified lol what did I miss? 🙂

  775. RedMaru*210789* says:

    But I think its more harmful to fake affection than anything…kinda selfish too on the part of the faker especially if its for gain

  776. SFsuga says:

    She has morals because she won’t give it up? You have morals because you give it up for dinner and a pair of shoes or whatever? Please don’t talk to me about morals. You don’t know me.

    I had a few bad SD experiences where I didn’t like the other guy too much (i.e. I would not have been with him if there was no reward involved). Now I have learned that there are men on here who are great people and fun to be with. I didn’t realize before that there were men like this who paid for girls. I thought they all had to be trolls.

    There are countless websites where you can find men to date and just that. There are also a great number of escort sites where you can find a girl who charges by the hour.

    I fall in between these two areas. I don’t want a traditional relationship, but I also don’t charge by the hour and suck six cocks in one day in order to pay my rent.

    I only have one or at the most two SD’s in my life at a time and the money they give me goes directly toward my college tuition.

  777. johnq says:


    This thing is certainly varied, as are male-female relations in general. When I was married I used to hear regularly about wives who secretly hated their husbands and had to force themselves to have sex, but who hung in there for the lifestyle. I’m not sure that’s much different from what SFSuga is doing, but from a certain perspective it’s possible to argue that prostitution isn’t qualitatively different from any of this.

    So I’m not condemning anyone’s morals or business practices, with the exception that SFSuga’s dishonesty towards her clients (er, SDs) offends me. I’d like to think I’d be able to spot someone being that dishonest, but this reminds me of the fake orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally, so who knows?


  778. raine says:

    Hi, Jai.

    Relaxing in progress…I can fake hair and/or nails for kicks (rare, but trying to show some sense of humor*), but not affection: that is, for the lack of a better word, criminal in this regard. Thank you again, JohnQ *slight blush*

    *if the SD and I are planning a date, say, he may be like, “can you bring ‘Lola’ with you? *wink*” Lola would just be me in a blonde wig or some such. I got jokes like that. 😀

  779. Jai says:

    Yep Maru, then school starts! 🙂

  780. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Hey 😀
    Anybody else off Monday…3 day weekend whoo it’s like its Friday for me again

  781. Jai says:

    Hi Maru! 🙂

  782. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    You have morals raine and that is what matters. Someone like SFsuga seems to have none.

  783. Jai says:

    Interesting John. I can understand some people view this as business and as such are willing to do things they wouldn’t normally do. However, I have be to able to, at the very least, enjoy your company AND stand the site of you to continue lol 🙂 But that’s what’s great about the sweet life, it is varied in it’s definitions, approaches, and practices.

  784. RedMaru*210789* says:

    Hey Jai 😀
    hey again johnq 😀

  785. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Don’t worry about it so much. It’s not a big deal. Relax 🙂

  786. johnq says:

    Apologies, but my last post probably wasn’t completely clear. What I meant to say, is that, of the two, I’d prefer Raine as an SB, sexless relationship and all. That seems far preferable to me than sex with an SB who’s perfectly willing to fake affection.


  787. Jai says:

    What up sugars? 😀

  788. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Then you have the rest of us somewhere in the middle lol

  789. raine says:

    ^Of course, sweetred, and I expect nothing less.

    Man, I gotta do more surgery on my profile! first I was stressing about the lack of pics on same; now I have to add two more and overhaul the wording! I don’t feel like worrying again…*sigh*

  790. johnq says:

    Interestingly enough, this thread gives us polar opposite approaches to the whole sex and money thing. Raine won’t have sex period, whereas SFSuga is apparently willing to have sex with men she despises, as long as the check clears.

    Of the two, I prefer Raine.


  791. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    The only problem I have with anyone is if they use someone. THAT I do have a very strong problem with and yes I will say my peace on that subject. And not be very nice about it either!

  792. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    “gtfoh”???? I Think they are just being true to themselves also, saying they would not except a non intimate relationship. Which is ok too. WE all have our preferences.

  793. raine says:

    Thank you, sweetredhead: I don’t explain myself in general often, but just the same, it’s one habit that I know won’t go quietly *lol*.

    *I don’t quote myself much either, but I forgot something: ~to wit, my brain has translated the comments thus far to “gtfoh”!~ ETA: on the SDs’ side, anyway.

  794. RedMaru*210789* says:

    raine – Stick to your guns. You know what you want out of this and that’s good. I’m with sweetred hats off. Its rare but I know its out there…I’m rhyming again 😀

  795. raine says:

    That’s the thing, RedMaru: I don’t mind the extra time required one iota (honestly, who isn’t up for a challenge every now and then?). *sigh* to wit, my brain has translated the comments thus far to “gtfoh”! I figure I’m the lone sugar-in-training (ha!) who really IS asking for too damn much. Oddly enough, this is the only thing that’s concerned me.

  796. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    lol. WE have had it all week!! so tired of being wet!! I always seem to get caught in it. lol

  797. RedMaru*210789* says:

    hey sweetred…GA got some of that rain you sent us….lol
    I’m drying off now as we speak

  798. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    SFsuga you sound like an escort. Sorry just my opinion. Your way seems like sex for money.