9 years ago
Episode 97: Sugar Daddy Dating, part 2 of 3

9 years ago
Episode 97: Sugar Daddy Dating, part 2 of 3

Episode 97: Sugar Daddy Dating, part 2 of 3

Thanks to SuthrnExec for the great advice on how Sugar Babies can identify fake Sugar Daddies! Click here to read!

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199 Responses to “Episode 97: Sugar Daddy Dating, part 2 of 3”

  1. SF SD says:


    When you say “africans,” are you talking about heritage (African American) or saying that you live on the continent of Africa? When you say your are “not accepted,” do you mean that you’ve been insulted because of your race or simply that you’re not having any luck?

    If you are indeed in Africa, you can understand the difficulty that a potential SD, who is likely to be thousands of miles away from you, would have meeting you in person. And surely you must realize that 999 out of 1,000 messages people in the US receive from African countries are attempts to con them out of their money. Sorry, those are just the facts.

    If you are in the US and just want to hook up with a white guy, your level of “acceptance” is not determined by the site. It depends on the number of white guys here who are into black SBs and the effectiveness of your techniques in attracting and getting to know them.

    If you’ve been at this for a few weeks and haven’t had success yet, your experience is not that unusual. It can take some trial and error, dedication, and a certain amount of good fortune to find the SD you want. For more perspectives, try:


  2. SF SD says:

    stephan, this might be one for you. :)

  3. zingali says:

    why are africans not accepted on this site, why? because we are black and freud based? it doesn’t make sence, am black and I also need a hot white guy, a cindirella story.

  4. bob says:

    id just like to point out that the ‘i’ is right next to the ‘o’ on the keyboard and i don’t normally proofread.


  5. bob says:


    why would you be reluctant to create a profile? it doesnt cost anything and you arent obligated to meet anyone. just give it a shit…

    as to what you should do – well thats totally up to you.

    you described this guy as a ‘great guy’ so presumably you had some fun yourself. yes?

    you think a thousand dollars after 3 weeks is ‘cheap’, but consider that if thats maintained in the long run thats the same as earning about 20k$ a year. Not too shabby for a college student, when all you have to do is go out on one date a week with a ‘great guy’. Certainly a much better deal than you would get shelving books in the library!

    Could you get more? maybe. probably. depends on how you approach things.

  6. SweetnSour says:

    Hi everybody,
    I discovered the website yesterday and iam already addicted,i guess like everybody iam learning a lot .I need u guys advice,I met a great guy thru my friend who became my S.D.When we met, even tough i knew he was here for sex,i didnt want it to be so obvious,i wanted to do more than just have sex all the time.Its been almost 3weeks and we met 3times and in sum i got almost a $1k from him which i think is nuthing.Now he is asking me to have a three some,something i never done before but i told him i was willing to do if he pays my tuition,after tellin me he would think about it,he came around to propose something not even close to what i asked.Should i stay with him or look for someone else? i think he is too “cheap”.
    One more silly question…Do u guys really meet great SD on this website?I want to create a profile but iam reluctant.XOXOXOOX FROM NYC

  7. CupCake says:

    Ya know… two years ago when I was just a wee one (I’m in my early 20’s now) a gentleman came to my place of work and asked me on a date. I declined because I was in a relationship. He didn’t even bat an eye. He went on to explain that he too was in a relationship and was just in town on business. He promised that all he wanted was some company while he was in town and to spoil me and take me shopping. And honestly.. I just laughed at him. It seemed completely absurd! I mean not that fact that he wanted to spoil me (I’m sure it helped that I was wearing a delicious lavender bikini) but the fact that we BOTH were in committed relationships. After talking with friends I agreed to go on a date with this man because I was out to prove a point… at the time I just didn’t get it.. if anything I was offended… How dare you think that you can buy me when you have another woman?! So disrespectful! Ha!! So we went shopping.. got great stuff… and you know what.. made a great friend! A very supportive friend! Even after all this time we still keep in touch and remain friends.. we were never physical (we only saw each other once and we never established an SB/SD relationship) but I think he was the start of my mind opening to things I had once dismissed.

    A friend once told me that in life there is a line… a line divides people’s beliefs on certain things… when you are young you stand very far on one side of that line.. but as you get older and begin to experience things with more understanding… your stance becomes closer and closer to the line.. until one day you find yourself straddling it (stop thinking dirty…seriously its completely inappropriate 😉 ) I can now say when it comes to relationships.. I am definitely at the stage in which I am straddling that line.. I’m more open to new things… and learning a new understanding… and hey if I mess up a bit.. at least I’ve written a great story in my book.. and I can always blame it on my youth. ha ha

    ps. How long does it take to get your profile approved. I just created one and it seems to be taking ages.

  8. SF SD says:


    No worries with the commitment part. We may just be at slightly different points on the spectrum.

    Only my most recent SB was found online, so I have to reference point with earlier years. But I’m guessing that that the recent influx of newbies, shysters, wannabes, and flake-o’s has made people a bit more cautious. Seems to be a lot promise making, then cutting and running. Once burned, twice shy.

    Anyway, I’m gonna let go of this now. Thanks for a good topic.

  9. bob says:


    Right you are. Sorry. Me and names (most particularly keeping track of them) are not the best of mates.

    SF SD,

    It’s not that I have any problem with being a gentleman. Quite the contrary. I only have a problem with it when the term is camouflage for someone looking to get what they want and ‘maybe’ they will give their arrangement partner what they want sometime later down the road.

    A bit of free time during finals is one thing. Unforeseen scheduling problems are also understandable. But the notion of not needing to commit to provide for the other party in a regular and reliable manner is troubling to me. Thats why I’m in agreement with goodgirl’s 99% rule.

  10. GoodGirl says:

    Bob~I don’t want to post my profile number here. You can send me an email at secretlovergirl1 at hot mail. 😀 I’d be happy to give you my # *)

  11. DC says:

    Hey SF SD! You always make your point with grace and intelligence and I could not agree more.

    As long as the SD and SB are on the same page in the arrangement, including an arrangement like what Bob is looking for, then I see nothing wrong with it. But I do think the majority of SBs and SDs are looking for the power in the relationship to be somewhat equal as well as emphasizing the importance of a true bond and friendship. Not just a servant and master kind of thing…unless that is what you are into 😉

  12. lisa says:

    Yuck and I have to work tomorrow :( but no rain on friday please as I’m off that day

  13. SF SD says:


    I’m anti-drama, and it looks like we’re in agreement on most things. But I’m curious why you find the notions of chivalry and being a gentleman troubling.

    I’ll admit I’m a bit old-school, but I rather enjoy the opportunity to play the gentleman. You seem to be implying that this somehow excludes intimate relations, but I assure you it does not.

    If the nature of the arrangement is “Hey, I’m in town, baby, let’s f*ck,” then so be it. But some of us derive additional pleasure from selecting gifts that delight or by surprising our SB with something unexpected. And not just because we’re expecting a hot time in return.

    Those of us who invest in mentoring our SBs through graduate school and helping them start their careers are going to be willing to cut them a little slack in the sack during finals week. Their success is part of our reward. Likewise, SBs with kids are going to have occasional schedule glitches. None of this invalidates the NSA nature of relationship and the importance of both SDs and SBs delivering what they promise. The difference is recognizing that your SB, while doing her best to please you, is also a real woman.

    If all I wanted was pay-for-play, I could set up an LTR with an escort. But it would lack the other dimensions of a sugar arrangement. That’s just me.

    I suspect there are plenty of women on this and other sites who are satisfied with providing “service on call.” According to the poll at the top of this blog, one-third of the respondents also say they have engaged in a platonic arrangement. To me neither of these things necessarily represents an alarming trend, so long a I can play the gentleman and be treated like one.

    And I see the next blog is up, so maybe no one will read this. C’est La Vie.

  14. Midgetfury74 says:

    Lisa.. your analogy is so funny but in a weird way i guess makes sense. Enjoy your guac and chips! Major rainstorms are expected tomorrow :(

  15. lisa says:

    Good afternoon everyone Made it back from my errands and still not a drop of rain. Had a nice but very hot walk back from the store. Snacking on guacamole and chips and grapes.

    I always compare sd/sb relationships to part time jobs. You don’t spend alot of time looking for a part time job because you need money fast and it’s just a temporary thing for you, so you find a part time job that fits your needs and that you can perform WHEREAS you spend years preparing for a career which will be your life work and you get an education and learn everything you can to excell in your chosen field, thus it takes you years to establish that career. Sds and sbs are temporary and the getting to know one another process shouldn’t be timely whereas when you are looking for someone to spend your life with and have a family and a future with, that is where you take your time and get to know that person, their friends, family and how they live their lives.

    Now back to my guacamole

  16. DC says:

    Bob- You addressed that to me but I think you meant to address it to NYC SB?

  17. NYC SB says:

    Red Maru – if my future SD is as cheap as they describe i wouldnt be looking for another one!

  18. NYC SB says:


    If the chemistry is there and both parties agree to be in an arrangement then taking things slow (whatever that means) seems silly to me. Usually and SD is on this site because a certain part of his life is lacking. More often than not that part is sex. For an SB that part is financial support and spoiling. If an SD took me away for a first date (assuming this is for more than a day) and I liked him and we came up to an agreement as to what the arrangement should be, the chemistry was there etc I would be ok with taking things to the physical level. Maybe this makes me easy or whatnot but thats just my opinion.

  19. RedMaru says:

    Afternoon/evening sugars 😀
    Love the article at Vanity Fair…lol

  20. bob says:

    DC SB,

    I would agree. However going through profiles recently there seem to be an awful lot of women who say things like ‘i want to take things slow’ at the same time as saying they want things from a prospective sugar daddy right from the start to know he is legit.

    That coupled with a lot of the talk of being a gentleman and chivalrous on the blog. it seems to be troubling to me. SA is s ARRANGEMENTS. not a dating service.

    Mind you i’m not advocating being an asshole. Not in the slightest. Just pointing out that this ISNT just another dating site.

    Maybe i’m over reacting, but I see the trend, and fear that in time this very useful web site will become overly commecialized (not the site it’s self, but the people on it) or little more than a place where people look to scam others.

  21. bob says:

    GoodGirl, whats your profile? 😛

  22. DC says:

    Hey Lisa! Hope you are well

  23. Midgetfury74 says:

    Nightmare… I brought up the arrangement aspect early in the dinner since we had already been corresponding for a while and left it was appropriate to raise the topic. However, during dinner i found out that he apparently has an interest in recreational drugs which does not interest me at all so i certainly will not be seeing him again.

  24. NitemareSD says:

    Midgetfury74 Says:

    July 21st, 2009 at 7:52 pm
    Nightmare…it wasn’t just that he didn’t take me shopping and I apologize for saying it that way, it was his overall dismissal of discussing the idea of an arrangement. Ultimately what determined that he is simply not the SD for me are the things that he revealed while we were at dinner.


    He should be discussing terms or doing something on the first meeting if he hasn’t before that, unless if he wasn’t interested in you. If you did not tell him no yet, see if he calls again to know if he was or wasn’t interested.

  25. NYC SB says:

    bob – when a first date is a vacation you have already proved that you are legit… but thats just my oppinion

  26. GoodGirl says:

    Hello sugars!
    NYC SB~thank you for the article. It made me giggle :)
    Bob~you sound like my kind of guy. 😉 and i do belive it was I that said 99% of the time…

  27. bob says:


    it shouldnt matter is a sd has disposable income. this isnt a charity web site. and i would argue that sex is just as easy to get as money, if it werent then this site wouldnt need to be here! 😉 but you are missunderstanding what i was getting at. i’m not saying that a sd should be required to open her legs at the first avaliable opportunity. I have a problem with being asked to show you are ‘legit’ as you put it. sd and sb should go out for a date (or dates) to see if they hit it off. But otherwise neither party should be expected to cough up what the other is looking for till they themselves are ready to comit for providing for their prospective arrangement partner. and it’s not about being chintzy imho. The ‘frist dates’ i went on with my SBs were all vacations. one to paris, one to vegas, and one to disney land (yeah yeah, i will ALWAYS be a kid at heart). it’s more about not letting yourself get used.

    SF SD,

    I had simply said that I expect my SBs to be always avaliable to me in all ways. That wasnt a euphemism. I look for a general connection in my SBs but that said I still want what i want, when i want it. at least 99% of the time as another poster said. and in return i expect that my SB can count on me for what shew needs – when she needs it. turn about is fair play and all.

    Now i realize i dont speak for all men, i said as much, but if you look at the poll on the main blog page the vast majority of SDs ARE looking for arrangements with intimacy.

    Sex isnt the only thing i want, nor is it most important but an arrangement where the SB ‘has a headache’ more than once in a blue moon sounds more like marriage than an arrangement 😉

  28. Midgetfury74 says:

    Hey Sugar Lovelies! Hope everyone is having a great day!

  29. Mina says:

    Cute article!

  30. lisa says:

    Hi DC, I’m just stopping in a moment, on my way out the door hoping to avoid the rain that is coming. I hate being stuck in on my day off though

    Have a good afternoon

  31. elle says:

    hahahahaha NYCSB, fun article! gave me quite the laugh

  32. DC says:

    OmiGod NYCSB. That is too funny! Especially Sign No. 5.

  33. NYC SB says:

    I stumbled on this article in vanity fair… pretty funny

    Five Signs Your Sugar Daddy Is Secretly Broke

    For some women, Valentine’s is a day to celebrate love. For others, it’s the day after your Sugar Daddy takes you out—because the fourteenth is reserved for his wife. What better time to kick back, assess your relationship, and remember you’re not tied to him “for richer or poorer”? This year, turn February 14th into the April 15th of romance and ask yourself this: Are you getting a fair return, or do you need to make a write-off?

    Sign No. 1: He’s been chintzing out on dinner …
    He promises to take you to Masa, then “surprises” you with dinner for two cooked by Mario Batali in the kitchen at Babbo. Sounds like someone’s using up an auction prize from a benefit he went to with his wife. Remember, if you wanted to eat in the kitchen, you could have stayed at home and had a Zone meal delivered. Dinner should be about making you feel special, not about having some fat guy in Crocs tell you how delicious pigs’ feet are in a bolognese.

    Sign No. 2: He’s been chintzing out on travel …
    He whisks you away on a pre-holiday trip to the Bahamas and you fly first class instead of renting a private jet. All the warm chocolate chip cookies in the world can’t make up for the fact that you have to look at the coach people get on the plane. Why not just travel to the Bahamas on a Greyhound Bus surrounded by people with eczema carrying crates of chickens and smelling of mothballs?

    Sign No. 3: He’s been chintzing out on your apartment …
    First he hires a decorator who speaks only shabby chic when he knows your colors are gold and chrome. Then, when you try to reserve the media room for your girlfriends’ weekly viewing of The Girls Next Door, the floor coordinator tells you your condo membership has been reduced to just gym and parking. So much for booking your weekly whole-body hair-bleaching at the in-house salon. At least you’re not the only one who will be made to suffer.

    Sign No. 4: He’s been chintzing out on your jewelry …
    With the economy being what it is, it doesn’t seem right to ask for big diamonds, so instead you ask for a bunch of little ones on a Panthere de Cartier ring. But when you open the box, all that’s in there is the new Gucci Bamboo Bracelet with Charm. What’s next, one of those sterling silver Tiffany disc charm bracelets every father in Ohio gives his daughter for her bat mitzvah? When he sees your face, he tells you that wasn’t the real present and the next time he comes over he’s got the Cartier Panthere ring with a matching necklace. Nice, but the whole experience is demeaning. Remember, at the end of the day, all you have is your self-esteem.

    Sign No. 5: He chintzes out on your quality time …
    It’s bad enough he starts staying over at your house, but then you catch him rocking and crying in his sleep. In the mornings, he keeps dropping in conversational points about the importance of self-worth and jobs you’d be good at. When you role-play during sex, he stops wanting to play Priest and Nun and starts wanting to play Person Who’s Unconditionally Loved. Finally, he stages his own disappearance. It may be time to find a new Sugar Daddy.

  34. SF SD says:

    “I myself like when a SB is available to me, in all ways – whenever i want something from her. and in return i myself are reliable when it comes to her needs. Is that not reasonable?”


    I’m going assume that this is a legitimate inquiry and take the opportunity to review the basic premise of the SB/SD arrangement.

    “Mutually beneficial” describes a process where both parties discuss what they value and what the other party will provide. There is often an investment in the other party beyond the purely financial, as well as a granting of trust and mutual respect. The result is a wide variety of understandings based unique circumstances, personalities, resources, and preferences.

    It appears that what you value most is sex on demand. Not every SD would consider this to be the highest priority, but it seems to be for you, and that’s fine. You also seem to have found women who agreed to the specific type of liaison you prefer. Good for you. But it’s not accurate for any one of us to use our personal preferences to characterize the universe of SB/SD relationships, which contains a broader array of possibilities and variations. A reading of these blogs over time illustrates some of this variety, as well as a collegial and supportive tone that is somewhat unusual in today’s “blogosphere.”

    Moving on to the riches awaiting you in Central Africa and the dozens of women in small Eastern republics requiring only plane fare so they can fulfill your every desire: This is the Internet. As time goes on, even exceptional sites regress toward the mean. Before the Web existed I used to get the Nigeria scams on my fax machine. It’s unfortunate that this kind of stuff has migrated here. In practical terms, it means that both SDs and SBs have to engage in an additional layer of screening.

    With regard to whether your statement (quoted above) is “reasonable,” I frankly doubt that there are many professional escorts who would “sign off” on it as written.

    Just my opinion. I wish you well.

  35. Mina says:

    I’m hesitant to eat food from something with no running water, lol
    Enjoy your afternoon!

  36. lisa says:

    New yorkers do it all the time. Our alternative here is these taco trucks that are all over the lower end neighborhoods like mine. Roach motels on wheels is what they are called. Many of them are dirty looking and there are health violation citations all the time.

    I’ve got to go now. Need to do some stuff around the house and try to get out sometime to run errands but now it’s looking like rain.
    Have a good wednesday :)

  37. Mina says:

    Would you really want to eat food that’s been carted around all morning and afternoon?

  38. lisa says:

    It’s not much better than the small towns that i’ve lived in. The buses don’t run much on weekends which means even if I get a weekend off, I can’t really go anywhere without I want to spend half an hour waiting for a bus so I can get off that bus and wait for another. I see high crime, road construction messes everywhere, bad transit, hot weather, and no hot dog stands downtown. Most big cities have those cart things on the street corners selling hot dogs and drinks and stuff. Houston doesnt’ even have but one department store downtown either so there’s not even much reason to go downtown. I lived in Chicago as a child and remember all the big department store windows, especially at Christmas and well the mall is just not the same. lol

  39. Mina says:

    Lisa – When I’m there, yes, I have cars at my disposal. Obviously Houston doesn’t compare with European cities but I don’t feel it’s as bad as some say. Let’s not forget all the small cities/towns that dot the maps!

  40. lisa says:

    I am guessing you have a car? I bet if you had to walk in the sun and take hour long bus rides to get 5 miles, you’d hate it. lol I’ve lived here 23 years and Houston will never come close to Chicago (where I lived for awhile as child) or the European cities i’ve visited.

  41. Mina says:

    Lisa – I actually like Houston! I’m partial to big cities anyway but I’ve spent most of my life there so that may be why I’m biased, lol..

  42. lisa says:

    Good morning Mina, I’d like to get out of this city, lol It’s already hot and it’s only 10. I need to get out and run some errands but i’m having problems getting motivated to go out in the heat.

  43. Mina says:

    NYC SB – Thanks for the good luck, but he’s been my SD for over a year… I think I’m past the “luck” stage, lol. Any updates with the potential SD you met out the other night?

    Midgetfury & Lisa – I’m in your ladies’ city an awful lot!

  44. lisa says:

    giving money shouldn’t be a big issue if the sd is legit, after all he’s wealthy and probably gives alot of his money to charitable organizations and all and really shouldn’t miss it that much whereas sex is a different thing and has emotions attached to it. Sex includes certain risks that can’t be taken lightly. It is in good faith that a sd provides financial assistance first to show he is legit, as if the sb is a fake, he has lost a few hundred whereas if the sb gives intimacy first, and the sd is a fake, it can do alot for a girls self esteem and make her feel really used and resentful as givign of one’s body is very personal.

  45. elle says:

    bob – i definitely understand your point and it’s a valid. i do agree with midgetfury and vixen though as well. as i sort of see it, money is “easier”/simpler to give than sex…i feel like there is so much more attached to sex (the emotions and all that). that is probably why most SBs want to wait at least a bit…to make sure this is someone they want to give all that to. it’s very emotionally taxing if a female feels forced into sex or regrets it, etc. i understand your money is hard earned and you want something in return, hence mututally beneficial, but i wouldn’t get upset if she waits just a bit…it shows she has integrity and respect for herself. now if she is truly dragging it on and you are not getting anything in return that’s a problem of course. anyways just my two cents :)

  46. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. Slept late this morning
    gotta jump in the shower now

  47. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugars emerging out of lurker mode again…Hows everybody today?
    I’m sorry but I have to ask silly question whats white knight. I have an idea but could someone clarify

  48. bob says:


    I am new to these forums, but I’m not new to SA. Ive been around here for maybe 3 years and have had long term arrangements with three women as a result.

    In my experience there seems to be an awful lot more of looking for a ‘real’ sd as time goes on, and when i say ‘real’ im not talking about someone with the resources and or inclination to spoil, but rather someone who is willing to unconditionally spoil.

    this place is about mutually beneficial relationships. while some men may be out for simple companionship I’d wager to bet the vast majority of them are out for companionship AND intimacy. Nothing wrong with it, but it is what it is.

    Would a prospective sb be willing to wait for a prospective sd to spoil her? not likely from what ive seen. then why should he be expected to wait as well?

    i’m certainly not saying that there shouldnt be chemistry. i look for it in the arrangements i have been in, but there seems to be an awful lot of ‘white knight’ on these forums, and i dont think thats what an arrangement is supposed to be about.

    BOTH sides are supposed to get spoiled.

    I like to come back to this place (SA that is) when there is the need, but this time around (it’s been about a year) 9 out of 10 mails seem to read like i’m about to be told that the prince of nigeria wants to send me nine million five hundred thousand dollars if i’d be kind enough to forward him my banking details.

  49. vixen says:

    my point…neither sides should feel forced to do whatever they dont want to..thats what marriages are for

  50. vixen says:

    Bob..along the lines of what midget said…just as you have the right as an SD to decline to give money..gifts..etc the SB also has the right to decline to have sex when she does not feel like it. Should she continuously do so, absolutely not. Remembering that the SB is human and female, be aware that there are times in life when she has greater concerns and just cannot physically or emotionally invest herself to a sexual act at that particular time. It is in that moment she should have the right to say no rather than subscribing herself to the ” my SD must get it 99% of the time mentality”. Provided that this is truly a NSA relationship..those involved should be able to occupy and enjoy themselves by other means. Then again she can just ignore her emotion, spread her legs, and pretend the whole way through. What woman doesnt know how to fake “it”.

  51. Midgetfury74 says:

    Bob… I agree with you neither party is obligated to give up anything that they are not comfortable with whether it be time, money or developing a physical relationship. However, I think the point that some SB were trying to make is that a genuine SD should not automatically assume/expect a SB to jump into bed with him the moment they meet before even trying to establish a relationship based on trust and comfort. If that is what he is expecting then what so called SD is in fact looking for is an escort, and there are other sites better suited to that particular need. I think this has been widely discussed but in any SD/SB relationship there needs to be a genuine friendship and chemistry for the arrangement to work and from that both individuals can decide how their relationship will develop and whether or not that will include a physical aspect, in some cases it does but not in all.

  52. bob says:

    a question to those who said that a SB shouldnt have to give ‘it’ up unless they want to. Would that mean that a SD shouldnt have to give anything up unless he ‘wants’ to? ie regularity and the ability to count on someone doesnt really matter?

    I myself like when a SB is avalible to me, in all ways – whenever i want something from her. and in return i myself are reliable when it comes to her needs.

    is that not reasonable?

  53. SF SD says:

    “I will be a little reassured if SA allows this post.”

    Hopefully, your nascent cynicism has been assuaged. :)

  54. SF SD says:


    Understood that the business model of SA (and most sites) is based on subscriptions. And, granted, there are always some scam artists around.

    However, my observation would be that there is no shortage of fine SB candidates, here and elsewhere. Sometimes I wish I could clone myself.


  55. NYC SB says:

    SAM… i believe i have an answer for you… when i search for an SD i browse by newest members… when your membership expires you for whatever reason show up on this list as a “blue” profile… maybe other SBs are doing the same method

  56. lisa says:

    it’s like going to a job interview and the employer avoids discussing benefits, wages, etc lol

  57. Midgetfury74 says:

    Nightmare…it wasn’t just that he didn’t take me shopping and I apologize for saying it that way, it was his overall dismissal of discussing the idea of an arrangement. Ultimately what determined that he is simply not the SD for me are the things that he revealed while we were at dinner.

  58. lisa says:

    but it’s posted on the “He didn’t take me shopping” billboard in Times square along with several of those planes that drag advertising banners across the sky near where I live. lol
    I think there is a list of sds that didn’t take their potential sbs shopping, lol

  59. NitemareSD says:

    I don’t see the big deal about not taking someone out shopping the first time they meet you.

  60. lisa says:

    Any wise words of wisdom Nitemare?

  61. Midgetfury74 says:

    seemed legit but not so :(

  62. lisa says:

    interesting but I haven’t chatted with him and he looks legit, you never know

  63. Midgetfury74 says:

    hey lisa send me your email, we can keep an ongoing list of fakers in Houston

  64. lisa says:

    I see it now Nitemare, darn you for using the forbidden word!

    Midgetfury can I have a hint to the sd you met last night. first part of his user name, age, or whatever, I think I might have talked to him in the past, we are both in Houston so we could keep tabs on the local fakes

  65. NitemareSD says:

    Now I know the word that was the problem.

    NitemareSD Says: Your comment is awaiting mod-era-tion.

    July 21st, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    Ryan, I think it sounds blunt, pushy and tactless to say it that way about the mall. If he’s taking you to dinner, he should be giving you some moderate allowance too already. Don’t be so quick to be over dinner. Be patient and build a relationship.

    Now the task is to make sure you’ve discussed the arrangement properly and that both of you are doing what is expected.

    Mention things you need rather than ask him for them. Do so in mod-era-tion.

    I try to find out if an SB likes to go shopping with me or alone. I am willing to go shopping sometimes. So either I go or give you enough money to go yourself. Try to find out if your SD likes to go or not.

    Is this the live in arragement person? What came of that so far?

  66. NitemareSD says:

    Now I know the word that was the problem.

    NitemareSD Says: Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    July 21st, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    Ryan, I think it sounds blunt, pushy and tactless to say it that way about the mall. If he’s taking you to dinner, he should be giving you some moderate allowance too already. Don’t be so quick to be over dinner. Be patient and build a relationship.

    Now the task is to make sure you’ve discussed the arrangement properly and that both of you are doing what is expected.

    Mention things you need rather than ask him for them. Do so in mod-era-tion.

    I try to find out if an SB likes to go shopping with me or alone. I am willing to go shopping sometimes. So either I go or give you enough money to go yourself. Try to find out if your SD likes to go or not.

    Is this the live in arragement person? What came of that so far?

  67. NitemareSD says:

    I said hello because my brilliance of 12:52pm is caught in mod-era-tion.

  68. NitemareSD says:

    I said hello because my brilliance of 12:52pm is caught in moderation.

  69. Midgetfury74 says:

    just sent SuthrnExec’s link to a fake SD. Just said thank you but no and perhaps you should read these suggestions from a gentleman. Educating one fake SD at a time :)

  70. lisa says:

    Hi everyone home from work. Midgetfury, so sorry to hear about your date not meeting expectations. I wonder if he is someone that I have came in contact with too, any hints so I can look at the profiles and figure out which one he is? I’ve came across some odd ones too. Yes the Galleria is great, I haven’t been to the highlands shopping area though. Dismissing shopping as silly, that’s insane, lol

    I haven’t came across to many men randomly in Houston or on the site that are looking to be a sd. Most of them,including the ones on SA are either looking for girlfriends or one night stands. I get alot of those “i’ll be in town tuesday night, wanna meet for a drink?” emails.

    Gotta eat now. Glad to see Nitemare said his hello on the blog, that maybe he was becoming a poofblogger :)

  71. NYC SB says:

    Good luck on the date Mina!

    Most men in general (including those on this site) are not looking a serious SD/SB relationship judging from my experiences and those of others… its a shot in the dark either way. The most important thing to remember is that you are ok with whichever decision you make regarding the SD. If you are looking for a one time arrangement than thats fine… if you are not than thats fine as well. At the end of the day you need to feel good about your own decisions.

  72. Mina says:

    I don’t think most men “out on the prowl” in Houston are looking for serious SD/SB relationships, just a little play here and there (judging from Lisa’s posts)
    Have a date with one of my SDs tomorrow so I did my shopping today. 😀

  73. NYC SB says:

    Shoe collection will hopefully grow tomorrow as I am meeting the pot for a lil shopping after work :)

    Im glad you found the dirt on this guy as well… last thing you want is to invest all this time only to find out the truth much much later

  74. Midgetfury74 says:

    NYC SB…yup, especially since there are some lovely boutiques in that particular shopping center and the Houston mecca of shopping, the Galleria Mall is just a 5 min drive down the street, you dont even have to make any turns 😛 Also, I am going to take your story of unexpected potSD in the outside world and place myself in upscale locations and see if there is any unanticipated sugarlove in Houston. *crosses fingers* Honestly though I am glad that i found out the fine details on this SD before i got further involved and invested more time, that would have upset me more. Keep us posted on ur new pot SD (and ur shoe collection!)

  75. NYC SB says:

    awww…. sorry to hear that! An SD that dismisses shopping is a silly one!!!!

  76. Midgetfury74 says:

    Hey SugarFriends,

    So for all that are anxiously awaiting an update on my date…Not a total bust since I was treated to a very lovely dinner at Kiran’s in Houston by the Highland Village shopping center (last minute change in plans). But i don’t believe that this particular gentleman and I will get along well in real life, found out more info during dinner that I am not comfortable with, which is i’m sure why he waited to reveal more of his personality until we met in person. Also, I believe his pictures portrayed him much better than Houston light did, so definitely lost points of the attraction meter. Finally, when i suggested shopping in the Highland Village he dismissed the idea as silly, certainly not my idea of a serious SD.

    Now to address the guilt topic… For me it is all about personality and how much joy i get out of being with my SD and then I worry about allowance and looks. My last SD was approx 35 years my senior but made me laugh uncontrollably and we had such a fabulous time that i was able to get past the age difference. I will be honest and say that he would not be someone i would approach in an open forum with an interest in dating based on looks, but again we got along so well that I eventually put that aside and just learned to have fun with him and enjoy the flow of sugar while it lasted. However, as others have mentioned it really is about what you really want and you have to decide what are you main priorities and i believe once you do that and stick to it you will not feel guilty.

    Love to my sugar friends and best wishes, the search for me continues 😀

    Hey Dorky, are you in Texas?

  77. NYC SB says:

    hola nitemare… enjoying the rain?

  78. NitemareSD says:


  79. NitemareSD says:

    Ryan, I think it sounds blunt, pushy and tactless to say it that way about the mall. If he’s taking you to dinner, he should be giving you some moderate allowance too already. Don’t be so quick to be over dinner. Be patient and build a relationship.

    Now the task is to make sure you’ve discussed the arrangement properly and that both of you are doing what is expected.

    Mention things you need rather than ask him for them. Do so in moderation.

    I try to find out if an SB likes to go shopping with me or alone. I am willing to go shopping sometimes. So either I go or give you enough money to go yourself. Try to find out if your SD likes to go or not.

    Is this the live in arragement person? What came of that so far?

  80. GoodGirl says:

    Good Morning Sugars!!!
    SBnCA~I re-read my post this morning. I didn’t mean to come off so judgemental. I also understand the guilt… I’m happy for you that you have decided to come back to the sugar bowl for another dip :) LOL!
    I’m in agreement with the other SBs here. Take your time. Find an SD that you’ve got a connection with and then take a little more time getting to know each other before you take it to that next level. It’s very important FOR EVEREYONE to remember your own mental health 😀 I’ve had to remind myself a couple of times just to ‘relax and give it time’….maybe thats the mantra today??

  81. NYC SB says:

    SBnCA – i completely understand the guilt… here is my two cents on the issue. If you are no longer in a financial bind you can take your time until you find your perfect SD, one to whom you are attracted to 😀

    best of luck on the date!

  82. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone

    Heading out to work

    Still waiting to hear about midgefury’s date. :)

    Have a great day everyone

    Nitemare, channeling Nitemare

  83. vixen says:

    I suspect many SBs have been in that situation CA so we understand your guilt more than some of us might care to admit. Life happens and you do whatever needs to be done to get through it. I wish you the best on your upcoming sugar quest. Hopefully you find an SD that knows how to ignite that spark 😉

  84. SBnCA says:

    I understand what you are saying vixen, but last time I did the SB/SD thing I was in a serious financial bind and had no choice. I mean I HAD a choice, but you know what I mean….

  85. vixen says:

    SBnCA I personally alleviate any guilt by making sure that my SD is someone whom I am attracted to. In my opinion chemistry is vital to truly enjoying any sexual activity so why deny myself the pleasure of the moment by being with someone I feel nothing for. Going about it that way does mean you spend a greater deal of time rejecting potential SDs. However when you do find someone you connect with, it makes it much easier to enjoy the physical and financial aspects of the relationship. Alot less guilt as well.

  86. SBnCA says:

    What I mean to say is that majority of SD/SB relationships consist of sexual activity and by this I mean I was never into the guy. I was only into it for the benefits. Maybe that’s why I felt guilty about it.

    This time however I don’t feel guilty….although I haven’t done anything yet.

  87. GoodGirl says:

    Hey SBnCA :) Welcome to the blog!
    What do you feel guilty about? This question leads me to belive you may not have been in a MUTUALLY beneficial relationship before, where one was giving and the other taking…or maybe he wasn’t a gentelmen and made you feel somehow cheapened? I’m juping to conclusions over here…it’s late :) give us all some more insite so we can respond…
    Short answer to your question: NO, i don’t :)

  88. SBnCA says:

    Hey guys,

    I’ve been lurking the blogs and this is my first time posting. I am going on my first date tomorrow with a SD. Do any of you women feel guilty sometimes? Just curious because a few years back I was with a SD for less than a month and felt horribly guilty about it, but going into this the second time around I am not feeling apprehensive or anything.


  89. Brooke says:

    I think i mentioned this a while back on another blog topic, but since we are on the subject of shopping i will bring it up again- i myself, prefer to shop alone- i mean, even with girlfriends, i’d prefer to shop by myself, and take my time etc. I do have a pot SD in the works who claims to actually love shopping, and enjoy it with a SB. I did tell him that i like shopping alone (in a way that didn’t sound like an outright rejection of the idea) and to be honest, as much as i *think* i need a certain Tiffany bracelet ( i drool just thinking about it) or the newest Blackberry, i KNOW that i need to pay my bills.

    So part of it is knowing that i’d rather have cash or a higher allowance for more important things, and part of it is that i’d feel kind of uncomfortable trying on clothes or whatever knowing he’s waiting on me etc…and wondering what the budget is? Just seems awkward to me. I’d rather skip that situation alltogether. However- my pot did say that he believes in shopping with cocktail stops in between- haha- so, who knows..after a couple drinks i’m sure i’d be all for it.

    Onto a question- how many of you have shopped with an SD with the sole intention of returning everything?

    Also- as much as my priority is paying bills or using an allowance for my career endeavor, i’m not adverse to being treated with extras! I guess i’d just appreciate it much more and feel more special, if for instance i mentioned something i wanted and he surprised me with it, VS shopping together for it.

  90. lisa says:

    Hi Silly, Hi Goodgirl

    I’m also anxious to hear about midgetfury’s date.

  91. GoodGirl says:

    Dorkyguy~ those seem like perfectly reasonable requsts to me! Should I pick the other SB or do you want to? Just let me know when to expect my plane ticket to the lonestar state! :) Also, could we use chocolate or banana pudding instead of tapioca?? I don’t care much for lumpy pudding, but of couse it’s your choice, so it’s all about you babe! 😉
    Brook~ I use my real name. I’ve had SDs before that told me a different name (was his middle name instead of his 1st for the first date) I could never get over that and had to think real hard to remember his REAL name…always wanted to call him by the middle name that i learned first.
    Midgetfury~Where are you?!? We want the sugar story!!! Hope it was fantastic!! 😀
    Everyone else~ Hello!!!! 8)

  92. silly says:

    hey sugar fam ! hey beach girl !!
    just dropping in quickly.. just started a full time job and it’s close to an hour commute each way so dead tired.. but seeing my SD at lunch tomorrow :)
    he’s so sweet, coming to pick me up for some cuddling at lunch… went shopping with him on sunday and got some very nice stuff.. wanting him with so I could get to know more of what he likes…

    night all..

  93. lisa says:

    both of these shopping dates occured only a week from each other way back in august/sept of last year.

  94. lisa says:

    edit I got 2 somewhat dressy dresses that I couldn’t really wear in my day to day life, they were suitable for the event we were to attend but not for everyday

  95. lisa says:

    I have had 2 sds take me shopping on the first meeting. Both experiences were different. The first guy was very shy and let me take the lead. I spent around 450 or so and went to sephora, vs, express, and other clothing stores, nothing extravagant. The second man was taking me shopping for an even we were going to attend. He kinda took lead so it wasn’t as much fun for me. I did get 2 somewhat dresses that I can’t really wear anywhere, some nice shoes that weren’t my style and I couldn’t really walk in and some cosmetics which was the best of that shopping trip. Spent only about 350 though. He then cancelled on me so I was able to take the shoes back and exchange them for something that I could actually wear along with a few accessories.

  96. Ryan says:

    how much do u usually spend when u go to the mall with a SD?

  97. lisa says:

    sounds like a good idea Ryan. There are stores in the mall, ATM machines in the mall, and if you’re eating at the food court, that’s kinda cheap so a little shopping should be in line, lol

  98. Ryan says:

    hah ill just say we should go to the food court inside the mall. <3 south coast plaza

  99. lisa says:

    Good idea Nico

  100. Nico~346434~ says:

    Ryan….choose a restaurant near the mall *wink*

  101. lisa says:

    I agree with you Ryan :) it’s all about sugar and spoiling, dinner is ok but that’s regular dating. I guess you could just suggest it, if he doesn’t get it, then maybe he’s not the sd type.
    Sure is quiet on the blog tonight. I’m about to fall asleep myself.

  102. Ryan says:

    So this guy that ive had dinner with 1 time asked to take me out to dinner again but im really over dinner dates but would it sound bad if i said “im more fun after the mall than dinner ;)” ? cuz jesus, i want gucci not sushi

  103. Giulietta says:

    Hope you have a great date, Midgetfury! I go by a nickname in real life and use it for sugardating as well.

    And NYC SB – congrats on a great impromptu sugar lead!

  104. vixen says:

    I go the NYC SB route as well

  105. elle says:

    i use a nickname of mine so it’s not completely false but not my actual name either. but i’d share my real name once i met a pot SD and felt comfortable doing so.

  106. lisa says:

    I use a alias on this blog but my real name on my profile, no last names though

  107. lisa says:

    Wishing you the best on your sugardate tonight Midgetfury74 . I love the Galleria, I was just there on thursday. I go there to channel sugarluck as it seems to work sometimes. What restaraunt are you eating at? No i’m not going to spy on you, lol I don’t have a car so I don’t get out this late at night. It’s is a good place for shopping. I live near the Memorial city mall though so I go there most of the time.

  108. NYC SB says:

    I do not use my real name as well until I have met the pot… at which point I share my first name with him 😀

  109. Midgetfury74 says:

    Brooke- I use my nickname that even my best of friends know me by. I don’t think I need to hide who I really am but i certainly do not give out my full name until i have established a level of trust with the pot SD. For me its just about being safe and watching out for myself because you never know.

  110. Brooke says:

    Curious… how many of you use a fake name? Of course we all have an alias on the blog, and our profiles… but what about once you are in the email phase and/or meeting someone?

    Would like people’s thoughts on this and wether they think it is a big deal or not to give your real full name.

  111. Mina says:

    Also, I’d love to see your profile if it’s still up!

  112. Mina says:

    OK that makes much more sense now. What a gentleman, keep us posted :)

  113. NYC SB says:


    I spent the whole night talking to him and I kept on telling him I need to get back home to which he told me he would get me a cab so I dont have to take mass transit. We stopped at the ATM and he gave me a whole lot more than the cab ride was in good faith that i would see him again. Which I did yesterday

  114. Mina says:

    NYC SB –
    How random! He was out and about and just happened to have sugar with him? Odd, lol.

  115. Mina says:

    I really like this radio show… Emily is non confrontational and is unbiased (although towards the end Stephan seems to have sparked her interest in becoming a SB, lol)
    Great job, Stephan!

  116. Midgetfury74 says:

    I have a date with a pot SD this evening at a very nice restaurant in Houston purposely asked for since it is in the Galleria shopping mall, so hopefully shopping after **crosses fingers**

    GG, definite mistake with the SB ->BS mixup, i laughed at it later as well :) I guess thats what happens when typing and drinking wine 😛

    Dorky… you are hilarious!

  117. DorkyGuy says:

    I agree with GG… SB’s should grant all “normal guy” requests.

    Wonder what her definition of a “normal guy request” is?

    Seems like asking the SB to “bring a friend”, to wrestle in tapioca, or to dress up as a french maid and clean the house are all “normal guy request” to me 😛

  118. EL.OH.VE.EE says:

    On the blog there’s always stuff about sb’s with “nudey” pics on their profile or just pics in bikinis (which I don’t see a problem with). . .I def don’t have any nude (and am pissed when asked for any) but my profile does show my bod.

    My profile reflects me and now that I’m writing this I’m really thinking about if my profile/pics are suggestive at all . . . but I like my profile (and don’t plan to change it anytime soon) and have met genuine, down.to.earth, quality guys who I can talk to as if I’d known them forever (great.but w e i r d)

    Guys are visual creatures and typically . . what’s on the outside attracts that person to you and what’s on the inside intrigues/interest that person enough to make them stick around and find out more [about you].

    Guys mainly – Can anyone honestly say that physical appearance doesn’t matter to them?

    What do SD’s think when there’s an attractive girl with a full body pic on her profile (no nudity)? What comes to mind?

  119. NYC SB says:

    NYC SB – how do you meet pot SDs in real life situations? how does the subject come up in casual conversation?


    Giulietta – how do i meet pot SDs? Well I dont usually go out with the intention to meet… however when i am out i tend to go to places that are on the higher end… then you wait and see who approaches you. The guy from this weekend came up to talk and revealed the fact that he is rather wealthy and after a few drinks he said that he is looking for a mutualy beneficial relationship and is on SD4me… from there on out it was rather simple 😀

  120. SuthrnExec says:

    Nitemare, that’s a pretty humorous list. I’m certain that you’ve gleaned those from the many experiences of other SDs – otherwise I might recommend you take a class in “Good Judgement-101!”

  121. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone
    Wow it looks like the blog picked up last night after I went to bed.

    Good morning Nitemare
    Welcome back Beach_Girl

    Off to work soon for me
    Have a good monday

  122. Beach_Girl says:

    i’m all good now thank god!

  123. Beach_Girl says:

    actually had a few surgeries so i was unable to be here….

  124. Beach_Girl says:

    Yeah i kinda gave up a little lol , trying to do homework and read the blog it’s not a good combination lol
    How are you Vixen?

  125. Beach_Girl says:

    NMSD~ that is funny! how have you been?

  126. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars! I’m back!
    how is everyone?

  127. NitemareSD says:


    – After Granma dying in the middle of dinner on the first meet and the SD spending hundred$ to fly her back immediately, have an emergency need for $1800 for a court appearance on Thanksgiving Day.

  128. vixen says:

    ROFL..ok clearly nitemare u meet the most interesting SBs..not sure where you’re getting them from

  129. NitemareSD says:


    – Communicate for 3 months with a potSD and then inform him that just last week she realized her prior SD (who’d been gone 5 months) is no longer interested and now she needs some time to get over him.

  130. NitemareSD says:


    – Sleep with the SD then next morning try to get him to put her name on his house so she can borrow $60K to buy some properties, and wonder why he never called again.

    – Agree with the SD that the food and service are terrible and to leave without dessert or coffee, then blurt out an order for two desserts and coffee when the waiter comes by.

  131. NitemareSD says:

    Some things a TruSB does NOT:

    – Have an empty gas tank.
    – Have a cell phone that is or is about to be disconnected for non-payment, or is low or out of minutes.
    – Fail to return phone calls and other communications promptly as necessary.
    – Arrive late to the meeting (esp. the first)

    – Ask if its ok to take a shower 5 minutes before curtain time.
    – Blowdry her hair using the air vents on the passenger side.

    – Wake up when it is time to leave for the first meet with the SD, leave two hours late, fail to find the interchange between two major interstate highways (twice), call the SD screaming profanities and death threats, and wonder why the pot SD bailed.

  132. vixen says:

    Glad you’re doing better..stay healthy and enjoy the sugar life :)

  133. vixen says:

    ouch..well how are you doing now? Healing okay?

  134. NitemareSD says:

    – Assists SD with social expectations such as thank you notes, RSVPs, invitations, gifts …

    – Tucks SD into bed when sleeping in another room.

  135. NitemareSD says:

    – Prepares appropriately for all events, incl. necessary research or information gathering about antendees, subject matter, etc.

    – Is prepared intellectually to participate fully in all events.

  136. vixen says:

    Nightmare as long as the SD does not ask me to pay for my own bus or plane ticket..I’d be glad to act as his personal secretary, image consultant, and publicist.
    SB is a lady in public and whatever suits her SD’s fantasy in private

  137. vixen says:

    B_G-I sympathize..I’m constantly trying to grade papers and keep up with the blog..hence why I generally come on close to midnight. I’m doing okay..going through the motions of life. Did you go on vacation or just take a break away from the blog?

  138. NitemareSD says:

    – interacts with SD and other social contacts with grace, charm and discretion.
    – Acts in the best interest of the SD in social situations.
    – Always remains an asset enhancing the SDs image to others.

  139. NitemareSD says:

    A TruSB comes as a complete package and put together:
    – wardrobe contains necessary elegant items for outside events
    – wardrobe contains necessary sorts of items for inside events
    – Hair/nails etal. befitting and properly maintained
    – Trained in social graces, manners.
    – Hostess capable
    – Can take charge of arranging events/affairs
    – maintains proper private area environment for SB/SD interaction
    – Organizes her own duties, completes tasks diligently and promptly
    – Organizes her time. Makes appointments, etal. Arrives on time.

  140. vixen says:

    I’d be more than happy to provide cyberskin as a substitute

    Beach_girl-welcome back!! I’m sure you’re busy trying to catch up on the blog

  141. GoodGirl says:

    I am happy to have some imput on this. We are all different, after all :)
    Good night sugar fam!!!
    Vixen~it is no more. try beginagin :) empty now though…

  142. NitemareSD says:

    A TruSB arranges for a substitute when not in the mood.

  143. vixen says:

    GG-what happened to “the spot”

  144. vixen says:

    GG-I agree with everything else totally!
    I am interested in what an SD’s perspective is on what defines an SB

  145. vixen says:

    I agree with Midget..if I don’t feel like it at that point in time then i should have the right to say no thanks..if the arrangement is based on more than just sex, the SD should be somewhat understanding. I will try to find other ways to provide a sensous experience without having to specifically engage in sex.

    Also Edit: allow you to ‘blow up’ her phone

    Both sides should state what their limits on phone contacts are i.e. best times to not call..etc

    Being the SB shouldnt mean that the SD has all the authority in the relationship or is the only one afforded accomodations.

  146. GoodGirl says:

    p.s laughing a lot about your sb->bs flip. :) was that an accident? lol

  147. GoodGirl says:

    Nitemare~crackin me up as usual
    Midgetfury~read’it’ as you will. :) ‘it’ is different for all of us, hence the’ ‘ 😀

  148. Midgetfury74 says:

    Edit: give ‘it’ up at least 99% of the time

    I hope that “it” is the time a BS has available and not just the physical. I can see how poser SD could be confused by that point. Personally, i do not feel I am obligated to provide the sexual “it” at any point if its not what i want.

  149. NitemareSD says:

    Some nice work there GoodGirl. I prefer TRU SB or Tru SB or TRU-SB or Tru-SB

    Add: A TRU-SB will arrange the social calendar in whole or in part in accordance with the nature of the arrangement and relationship.

  150. Giulietta says:

    NYC SB – how do you meet pot SDs in real life situations? how does the subject come up in casual conversation?

  151. GoodGirl says:

    TRUE SB DEFININTION: for you Nitemare.
    Calling all True SBs out for further definitions…
    I read your post earlier and here’s what i’ve come up with so far.
    She (SB) will not:
    -start contact with an email that askes what you can do for her.
    -ever ask you to pay by the hour (yuck-where else has she been?)
    -tell you all the bad things that have ever happened to her
    -(for you Nitemare)ask for $500 site unseen
    -have nudey pictures on her profile (Seriously. Save something)
    -not give ‘it’ up on the 1st date
    -ever ‘blow up’ your phone like your last GF, or wife, of BF, or lover, what have you…
    -ask you why you didn’t call (text, email)
    -deny you your ‘normal guy’ requests (if you need further info on this, please ask)
    -ask you to do ‘regular boyfriend stuff’ ie:take out trash, change oil in car, clean toilets (sorry, but that is guys job…I never miss) :) ect…
    -ask you to meet the family
    She (SB) will:
    -need you but NOT be needy
    -dress to the 9’s while you’re out
    -be smokin hot while you’re in
    -give ‘it’ up at least 99% of the time
    -let you tell her all the bad things that ever happened to you
    -allow you to ‘blow up’ her phone (as long as you foot the bill)
    -leave you alone when you’ve got other sh** to handle
    -let you pick the place to take her (as long as it’s impressive, of course)
    -make all your friends jealous 😉

    Let me know if there is anything I missed SB’s 😀

  152. lisa says:

    Wow I finished my housework and took a long nap, fell asleep on the sofa. Where is everyone? I guess i’ll watch some videos and have some dinner. Have a good night everyone

  153. NitemareSD says:

    So is it SA’s business plan to limit its membership to this master race of SDs? Does it make sense to limit the SB membership to thoroughbred true SBs – and what about the definition of a true SB that we hear so little about?

  154. lisa says:

    Congrats on finding a good parking spot, I know people argue and shoot people in Houston over parking spots. lol Have a good afternoon at the concert. Now back to my vacuum cleaner, lol

  155. NitemareSD says:

    We are at the concert. Its about to start. Mozart stuff. My sandwich was good and so was my parking spot.

  156. lisa says:

    Good afternoon, back from doing laundry, now to get this apartment back in shape
    Where is everyone??

  157. NitemareSD says:

    Wow Lisa Angel, enjoy your restful and productive day.

  158. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. Slept really late this morning. Too much noise last night with the neighbors having half the residents from their native country on the porch drinking and talking. Gotta take a shower now and head over to do laundry. Will stop over at wendy’s for one of those coffeecinno things they have that are actually quite delicous. I’m off today and thank God my best friend has to work all day so i’ve got time to do the laundry and clean the apartment.

    Good morning nitemare

    Be back later.

  159. NitemareSD says:

    Was that easier than sitting home waiting for him to send you $500 in cab fare sight unseen?

  160. DreamyPrincess says:

    Congrats NYC SB!!!

  161. NYC SB says:

    exciting night for me… went out for drinks with a friend and met a pot SD… totally random… we talked the whole time and at the end he got a car to take me home and gave me a nice chunk of sugar to prove that he is real… i will be seeing him again 😀

  162. Happy Lurker says:

    I am not young enough to know everything, to quote Oscar Wilde.
    But it seems to me that a living-in arrangement of two SBs with one SD is like skating on thin ice, Ryan.
    Three is a crowd and you risk losing your friend because of this perpetual threesome.
    Also you throw yourself at the mercy of the person who takes you in.
    A menage a trois is very tiresome and soon tempers will flare.
    Better stay independent and remain for short periods with that SD.
    Keeps him hungry, you know.

  163. DreamyPrincess says:

    OH MY GOODNESS! My “poof daddy” is no longer such. I feel so horrible for thinking he would do that to me! AHH! I knew it was too good! He is back! WHOO HOO!

    Omigosh, I’m so happy! I don’t even know what to do…I’m going to start by screaming in happiness!! AHHHHHAAHHHHAAAHHHH!!!!!!

    I have a potential meet tomorrow, but now I’m thinking of canceling! This one is a perfect SD already! Okay, I’m done….

    I love Sutherns points….so…very….true!

    The book is fab, I just got it and read it cover to cover…couldnt stop!! Everyone should get it!

  164. lisa says:

    Hi storm finally passed. Where is everyone? I’m I the only one home on a saturday night?? Ok I’m going to watch some tv and got to bed early, long tiring day. Good night everyone

  165. lisa says:

    thunder storms , time to shut down the computer.

  166. NitemareSD says:

    Ryan: This SD (not super rich, his networth has 500k-1mill) offered for my friend, who is also on SA, and I to both live with him and pay all our bills (which is practically nothing unless he buys us new cars) plus a small weekly allowance. Working would be optional but I think we both will and we are planning to go to make-up artistry school together so hopefully he will pay for that hah. Hes only 37 and hes actually pretty good looking. Sounds like a fun opportunity


    Here’s a couple pointers on how to work something like this.

    1. you maintain your existing residence as long as necessary with the allowance.

    2. You put away much of the allowance so you have plenty when its over.

    3. You work if you like for extra money and your own sanity.


    while you are making demands for a contract that includes babimony, make sure you give the SD who paid for your education a percentage interest in your future earnings in that career he helped you launch.

    Me, I’d do the former (1-3)

  167. lisa says:

    Hi everyone back from work. I can’t see doing a livein arrangement as when the person providing the home gets tired and wants to find someone new, you are out and stuck trying to get your life back into gear without any notice.

  168. vixen says:

    oops accidentally submitted previous without finishing

    *Nitemare I would never encourage anyone to move in with someone unless they are a homeless SB or about to become one. The risks far outweigh the benefits when you think about on average the length of SD/SB relationships.

  169. vixen says:

    Ryan- are you in the process of an eviction? well try to get this benefactor of yours to sign a contract stating that should the time comes when he meets a more attractive SB who can do what you do better, he is not allowed to kick you out with out giving you at least 15 days notice and pay for monthly storage fees for your belongings. Maybe even get an addendum stating he must continue to financially support you two months afterwards to give you time to find a new job and apartment. Hopefully he lives close enough to your mother so you have a place to sleep for a while.

    Nitemare I would never encourage anyone to move in with someone

  170. elle says:

    hi all :)
    just got home…10 hr shifts are not fun, i’ll need a nap before going out tonight. hope everyone is having a weekenddd

    ryan – ultimately you should do what makes you feel most comfortable. it’s definitely a plus your friend would be with you, just weigh all the pros and cons and then decide – good luck!

    well i’ve got a potential SD flying in on thursday to meet…i’m already starting to get a bit nervous! any pointers for a first meet? thanks guys :)

  171. Nico~346434~ says:

    I would be very leary of a live-in arrangement unless it were with somebody that I knew very well and had grown to trust on a number of levels. There are obvious benefits to it; however, you’re subject to ‘his’ whims. There is no escape. Unless it were a guest house situation, you’re under the same roof and would (maybe) eventually feel uncomfortable going home because you don’t have your privacy or alone time. Not to mention, should ‘he’ decide to change his mind, you’re up a creek without a paddle or, back up plan. That’s a lot of trust to put into somebody you don’t know. Friend there or not.

    We’re all adults and able to come up with our own decisions; however, put on the blog is subject to other’s opinions…..

    *putting soap box away*

  172. M from the HV says:

    I thought this guide was fabulous. Any help that a newbie can get (especially in regards to the time wasters that one runs into occasionally) is most welcome.
    I have hung out with a lot of escorts, Dommes, and a few SB’s – and the consensus is that the effect of having constant contact with some fake SD who was dropped on his head at birth is……exhausting. Good luck, all!

  173. Giulietta says:

    Ryan, I would personally not take a live-in arrangement because, like others have said, I really value my personal space. Plus, his net worth doesn’t seem high enough for him to support 2 SBs. But hey, you never know….

  174. NYC SB says:

    Just listened to the interview… i love how my comment about getting my allowance in form of louboutin shoes ended up on there 😀

    well its another weekend spent looking at numbers… dont you just love being a nyc sb? lol

  175. NitemareSD says:

    The live in arrangement is a fabulous form of arrangement. It is not 24/7, any more than a marriage has to be 24/7. It affords a nice lifestyle similar to the SD’s for the SB, freedom to pursue SB interests – including school, job, hobbies, etc. – all without financial concern.

    It is truly a great form of arrangement for an SB in a position to accept it.

  176. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. Getting ready to go to work. Have a great day everyone.

  177. Ryan says:

    well i wouldnt be with him 24/7.. id be out doing my own thing. plus id have my friend there too… i dunno im gonna talk to my friend about it more

  178. lisa says:

    Just dropping in to say goodnight. In the process of getting my friend out the door so I can get ready for bed.
    I think the 24/7 would be too much too

    Good night everyone

  179. Trinity says:

    I agree with Nico…I need my space. :)

  180. Nico~346434~ says:

    Eeeek Ryan…..I personally wouldn’t do it…that’s like 24-7 and you won’t have your personal time.

  181. Ryan says:

    I wasnt able to listen as my headphones are broken and new ones are still on the way.. but heres whats going on in my sugar world atm.

    This SD (not super rich, his networth has 500k-1mill) offered for my friend, who is also on SA, and I to both live with him and pay all our bills (which is practically nothing unless he buys us new cars) plus a small weekly allowance. Working would be optional but I think we both will and we are planning to go to make-up artistry school together so hopefully he will pay for that hah. Hes only 37 and hes actually pretty good looking. Sounds like a fun opportunity :)

  182. NitemareSD says:

    The login country is a big help

  183. vixen says:

    I try and abstain from all vh1 shows unless its the fabulous life

  184. Brooke says:

    Anyone plan on watching “Megan Wants a Millionaire” airs Aug 2nd on Vh1…another one of those horrid and rigged reality shows.

    ….and who am I kidding, I will watch it and be entertained!

  185. NYC SB says:

    Nitemare – i guess that helps weed out the scammers

  186. NitemareSD says:

    I knew I forgot something – the last login from country is on the profile for Premiums

  187. Nico~346434~ says:

    Great job SE…..nice to see all the information in one place :)

  188. creek says:

    Suthrnexec great job

    BTW my initial email in the last blog would have some of the fake features which I corrected in the follow up email.

    Slow and Steady is the best

  189. SisyphusSB says:

    Hey Stephan! Great job! You came across as very collected and articulate! Props for representing us gay SBs! I’m not sure if this is your area, but do you know anything about when the gay blog might be up and running? I love reading the hetero blog but it would also be great to hear from some people on my side of the fence so to speak 😛

    I agree with SuthrnExec, I think you have talkshow/radio host in your future. Looking forward to the abc special.

  190. lisa says:

    NYC SB this friend doesn’t seem to get it. I mean she is so needy but she is a dear friend and we met 4 years ago when we both had stuff going on in our lives. We are very different but at the same time can relate to each other. But she doesn’t know when to leave. I mean when she picks up her purse, you can bet it will be about half an hour till she gets to the front door, when she is at the door, it’s another half hour till she walks to her car. I am yawning and falling asleep and she will keep saying “i’ve got to be going so you can get to sleep” but she continues to stay. She’s stalking her ex boyfriend who has a sister that lives across the street from me so she’s at the window now looking to see if her bf’s truck comes in or out of the parking lot.

  191. NYC SB says:

    Miss Lisa, the way i kick my friends from my house is by falling asleep on the couch while we watch tv … works every time

  192. lisa says:

    Good afternoon Nitemare, still under house arrest, lol I’ve got to get up early tomorrow for work, hope I can get to bed by midnight, lol

  193. NitemareSD says:

    I wake up from a nap and Lisa is a Suggar Momma.

  194. SuthrnExec says:

    Stephan, you actually sound like you are getting more and more comfortable being behind the microphone. Perhaps there’s a second career budding…???

    Thanks for the comments regarding the list – but really we should thank all the SBs out there who are willing to speak-up regarding the behavior of us bone-headed SDs!

  195. NYC SB says:

    cant wait to get home and listen to it 😀

  196. stephan says:

    Thanks Suthrn!

    I think sugar babies should copy/paste the link to your article about Fake Sugar daddies and give it to potential SD’s who seem like they don’t know what being a SD is all about.

    Here’s the link y’all:

    — it’s actually a ‘page’ on the blog, you can see all the pages on the right side of the blog homepage.

    GoodGirl:I think I sounded a little cooler than normal because of my laryngitis, lol, but thank you!! :)

  197. GoodGirl says:

    This was good Stephan! :) You did great! (and you sound like a hottie) 😉 LOL! Thanks for sharing!!!!!

  198. SuthrnExec says:

    Stephan, I was able to listen to your guest appearance on Emily’s radio show this morning – nice job! It was a good, compelling discussion. Great job!