9 years ago
Sweet Surprise


Whether you stick with one sugar at a time, or like to have some variety and change things up – there are plenty of ways to keep things fresh in a sugar arrangement.

Sweet Surprise Ideas:

  • SD gives SB surprise shopping trip
  • SB gives SD imaginative sext message

What’s the best way to keep a sugar relationship feeling fresh and exciting?

Leave a Reply

157 Responses to “Sweet Surprise”

  1. se_vnt3 says:

    i always say distance makes the heart grow fonder

  2. GoodGuySBM says:

    I personally think the best way to spice things up with your SD/ SM is to first pay close attention to them personality-wise. If they are the dominant type, suprise them with some foreplay that is reminiscent of the way they operate in the office. Something that makes them feel powerful, but also satisfied. Too much power could make them feel as tho they seem overbearing to u. I like to treat my SM (when I have one) to the thought of not nessecarily co-existing in the relationship, but “Owning” me. This can make a woman, especially a business woman, appreciate the sexual tension of an arrangement far more than simply jumping into bed with one another.

  3. Christiann says:

    Shopping spree is deffenitely a good way :]

  4. racheljayok says:

    slim- if you feel that you are ready to discuss before hand what you would be willing to give, and what you are wanting, then by all means necessary, tell him before hand. If not, discuss it over your meeting. I think it’s better that the SD be aware of what you both expect before going into an arrangement. If not, play it by ear over your meeting, and then let him know, the worst that can happen is you both decide it isn’t going to work, a free dinner isn’t bad though hehe.

  5. NYC SB says:

    belle – i love the quote… bc i love me some heels

  6. aslimsexy1 says:

    I am new here and I have a question. I am going on my fourth date with my sugar daddy and I want to know how to approach the subject of arrangement? So far I like him and he likes me and wants to take it further. Not sure if I should bring it up and wait for his lead. I don’t want to give it up without clear understanding of my benefit.
    Any suggestions!

  7. Belle says:

    Hi there :)

    Ruby – it takes around 24 hrs to be approved i think , but i only new here too joined a few days ago :) , wish you good luck in your search

    My random thought for the day : Behind every scandal is a great set of heels that took her there :)

    Belle xx

  8. Ruby says:

    Hey everyone! Just joined yesterday. My photos or profile have not been approved yet, is this normal? I’m really excited to meet some great men!

  9. lisa says:

    edit, he gets on the bus every morning

  10. lisa says:

    Hi everyone

    Back from work. On the subject of goldie locks , there is an old man who gets on the every morning and looks over and says in a loud voice “goldie locks” to me. I find that annoying, lol

    Tired now, spent the day getting ready for inventory

  11. Belle says:

    nyc sb – cheers all over it like a fat kid on a cupcake 😉 (pardon the pun). :)
    NightmareSD- like your surface tones :)

    Bit excited i think ….need to go back to sleep got to be up and rocking around for work in like two hrs. Night all.
    Belle xx

  12. DC says:

    Hi Belle-

    I’ve found that the ones who reply like that are usually just being polite and not really interested. Those exchanges never go anywhere. You are right. How do you respond to something like that. If they were interested they would act interested and ask you more questions.

  13. SF SD says:

    Nitemare, are you sure you’re not channeling Stephen Sondheim?

  14. NitemareSD says:

    The next morning that same wolf blew down two houses and was seen nearing a third.

  15. NitemareSD says:

    A young boy, who had seen the wolf on two prior occassions, was ignored when warning the population that same evening about the danger.

  16. NitemareSD says:

    After eating all that, goldie borrowed a hoodie for the way home, and got eaten by a wolf herself.

  17. Abigail says:

    hey i’ve had 3 messages already, cool or what? problem is my pics havent been approved yet so i cannt see them. ooh i’m so impatinet.

  18. NC Gent says:

    Welcome to the blog LadyLi! There are a lot of great people here to assist you with your venture into sugar land! Have fun and be safe!

  19. LadyLi says:

    Hey everyone, I just joined today!! YAY!! Haha..

    I’m still a little unclear about what’s what and everything but everyone seems so interesting – I’ve been reading the replies to this post…… you guys are really funny haha…..

  20. NYC SB says:

    belle – like the story of goldy locks… the first email was vulgar the second was too nice and the third one will be just right 😉

  21. Abigail says:

    I just wanted to say hi. I have just sighned up today and have found reading the blog really helpful to get some idea of the sort of things I might expect. I wrk in central London as a PA but the nature of my job means that I work odd hours so am potentially able to meet a SD at almost any time of day so I recon that has to be an advantage. I’m gonna sit tight and see what happens for a while, let them contact me, I hope, and play it by ear.

    I do hope I can come back to the blog for some advice if I need to. Keep posting its useful and fun. thanks

  22. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone, ghosts and lurkers from our blog of the past
    Good morning nitemare, third email?

    Gotta go to work now, have a great day.

  23. Icarus says:

    Hi lisa and vixen,

    I tried to answer you but it appears I am blocked on this Blog. I had explained the use of Twitter, and given an example but the posts are not showing up for you to read.

    Social networking and web 2.0/3.0 are the best ways to keep things fresh IMHO. Search for me seeking arrangements on Twitter.

  24. Belle says:

    Nightmare- how do you mean the third email will be just right?? sorry bit confused , lol were you even talking to me ?
    Belle x

  25. NitemareSD says:

    The third email will be just right.

  26. Belle says:

    hi again :) thankyou Vixen, just a quick question before i jet off to work again- recieved another email :) :) :) very simply put too- nice- that was it (man of many words lol) ok so from start to finish you beautiful sbs are going to be my saving grace i think …help !!!!! how do i reply – i feel like a school child on this one ???????? talk soon
    belle x

  27. christina says:

    How do you know how much to expect? I don’t want someone to tell me online that their budget is 10k and then they meet me and think I am not worth it and offer me less. Is it crazy to expect a lot? This may sound bad but how do you know how much you are worth…meaning how do you know how much you expect is okay to expect?

  28. NYC SB says:

    apple i added you to my gmail messinger… accept and email :)

  29. vixen says:

    Apple-welcome back!! Glad everything is going well for you. I miss the whole sa-chatter group :(

  30. vixen says:

    Belle- that email was just welcoming you to the club..almost a rite of passage. As Lisa has demonstrated to us more rediculous ones are yet to come :0 but have faith..there are true SDs out there!

  31. Belle says:

    Recieved my first email last night and was a rather vulgar one at that!!! Little disheartened to say the least, but the intial excitement of having someone email me within the first week of posting my profile was a bit heart stopping . The sd that sent it i think may need to review his profile. are they all like this ????
    Belle x

  32. DorkyGuy says:

    Welcome back Apple!

  33. Apple says:

    I went back and read a few of the last comments.

    AZ SB – You did all the right things. I’m so glad you had that family with the cop father nearby. This guy sounds extremely manipulative and controlling. Are you staying with your best friend and her BF for now? Please update us soon, I’m really worried about you.

  34. Mina says:

    … Is the gal in the above picture wearing a clown nose?

  35. Belle says:

    woops posted that twice my bad :) ahhhh 😛

  36. Belle says:

    Big hi to all , hope you day has been filled with laughter ,newby here, just wanting to drop a line and congratulate you all on such a helpful set of blogs keep up the good work and would love a little bit of advice and/or tips on my new adventures
    belle xxx

  37. Belle says:

    Big hi to all SB , newby here. Just wanted to drop a line and congratulate you all on such a helpful set of blogs keep up the good work :)

  38. Happy Lurker says:

    AZ SB what a foul situation you have got your SD into.
    You even had him pay for your disfigurement operation from the start.
    Then you dumped him, what a scam. In times to come he will forget you and what you stand for.
    However, in years to come you look into the mirror, and that little voice will whisper into your ear “evil”. It is your conscience.

  39. Apple says:

    oops! i’m a complete doofus, and commented on an older blog post (the sugarcast one) by accident. anyway, to save you the trouble of looking for it, i’m copying & pasting it here (and edited for clarity, lol):
    Heyyyyy sugars :)

    It’s time for an update, right? (I know, what am I doing home on a Saturday night… but I’m suuuuper tired and really want to just curl up in bed with my laptop.)

    New York City is absolutely amazing. I love everything about it, the buildings, the streets, the people, the bars, the shopping. It’s such an exciting place to be! My internship is going well, too, lots to learn and do.

    But, I know you guys really just want to know about the sugar life, LOL. A few weeks ago I met up a younger guy for drinks, but I wasn’t really sure the chemistry was there. A week later we got dinner, but it just kind of confirmed that I really wasn’t attracted to him. He called again today to hang out and I let him know that the chemistry wasn’t there for me and (whew) he took it really well.

    The other guy I met up with is completely wonderful. We’ve had three dates so far. I’m telling ypu, I’ve never felt more pampered in my life. He is a perfect gentleman, and cares only about making me happy. Honestly, everything kind of exceeded my expectations. I’m extremely grateful for all of his help, and I look forward to our weekly soirees. :) He really spoils me!

    I miss my sugar girls, where is everyone at? How is everyone doing?!

    NYC SB – get in touch! I am gemmapple at the g place :)

  40. lala-SB says:

    SF SD- Thats exactly what i was worried about. A phone number seems a little too personal to just give to anyone. I may have to incorporate the boost idea for any potential SD from now on till I have established a level of trust with them. Thanks SF!

  41. lisa says:

    lol yeah like he thinks because he’s a young guy. I’m not into young guys as I have learned men get better with age. And of course i’ll meet someone whom I know nothing about and have no idea what he looks like.

    I’m fighting a mild headache myself, busy day at work and the few days will be busy too.

  42. elle says:

    hahaha lisa, i can relate to some of those…had a guy into some freeeaaaky stuff…too weird and out there for me, and don’t you just love the ones who expect you to meet them and you have no idea who they are/what they look like/etc – boggles my mind. your #4 is funny though lol never heard that one before!

    well i had a pretty crazy night with some friends last night so i’m going to go back to nursing my hangover and watching fluffy reality tv shows lol

  43. lisa says:

    A menu of the response that my SA profile has received in the past couple weeks:

    1. this guy wants to pay me 350 a visit to stomp, spit, and trample him. He lives out of state and expects me travel to do this

    2. this guy “hi, i’ll be in town tomorow evening, wanna meet for a drink?” this guy has no picture and we have not ever spoken before

    3. another guy luky me, I want meet you

    4. 27 year old guy from california wants me to come visit him and for the arrangment to be about sex with a hot guy like him, not an allowance, lol

    Another funny note: At work today the floral shop was advertising “come see (employee name here) she can’t make you an “arrangement” for as low as 20 dollars. They were talking about flowers but I was thinking “seeking an arrangement, 20 dollar allowance, lol

  44. SF SD says:

    lala-SB – Following up on NYC SB’s excellent suggestion, I would recommend that you not give out your phone number until you have established some level of trust with your SD. Remember that phone numbers can be used to retrieve all sorts of information about you, including your home address and the names and addresses of your relatives. An alternative is to purchase a prepaid disposable cell phone, such as the Boost! phones sold at 7-11.

  45. lisa says:

    Good afternoon everyone

    Sorry to hear about your dilemna AZ. My prayers are for your safety and that this idiot leaves you alone. And yes keep the voicemails and texts in case you need them for proof.

    Tired from work, going to eat now

  46. lala-SB says:

    nyc sb- No he’s from New York. I will do the *67 thing and put of giving him my number for now. Thanks for the idea.

  47. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    AZ – Sorry to hear. Make sure you save any texts/voicemails. They will come in handy if you get an order of protection. Would have been great if you had a tape recoder with you.

  48. DorkyGuy says:

    AZ SB, omg, I’m so sorry it worked out that way.

    I recommend that you try to get a restraining order immediately, and I’m sure the policeman will stand as a witness on your behalf concerning the man’s threats and volatile behavior. With the policeman as a witness, you should have no problem getting the order.

    Maybe when the guy is served with a restraining order, he’ll get the idea that it’s not worth pursuing.

    You’re very smart to not stay at home for a while.

  49. NYC SB says:

    az ab – so sorry for everything that happened to you

    lala sb – this man that emailed you wouldnt be from pa would he? if so do not call back he is a waste of time… alternatively *67 and call

  50. RedMaru says:

    Hey everyone. Sitting in my apt watching the electricians drill and bust open my walls ;(
    AZ SB – So sorry bout your experience. Sounds like that guy has issues and has had them to begin with it just took something said to set them off. Glad that family was on hand. Stay safe *hugs from me too*

  51. Giulietta says:

    AZ SB – I’m soooo sorry for your situation. That is probably any SB’s biggest nightmare :( I’m glad that you do seem to have a support system to back you up. BTW, he has NO legal ground to sue you. AT ALL. so don’t worry about that part. Get his # blocked (call the phone company or cell provider) If he approaches you in person (at work, home, etc) call the cops immediately and get a restraining order. Hope everything works out. *Hugs*

  52. AZ SB says:

    so, last night i DID end it with my SD. i was hoping and praying he completely over-react…which he did, in a big way.
    i took everyone’s advice, and we up at a park. first thing that happened was he started asking why a park, why wasn’t i dressed the way he likes me to be dressed, etc., etc. so right off the bat he was annoyed that i didn’t meet him at his house.
    i told him we needed to talk. i started explaining that again, when we had started this arrangement i made it VERY clear that this was to be a NSA arrangement, and as much as i care for him as a person i can’t reciprocate feelings of being “IN love” with him, and i am for too young right now, mentally and age-wise, to consider something as perminent as marriage.
    i also told him that i looked into transfering the car back to him, with the title back in his name, and i have taken the necessary steps to do that.
    also, i praised him on his work-ethic, character, etc., but told him that i just didn’t feel he was my “soul mate,” so to speak, and i am much too wrapped up in school and work to be a decent full-time GF like he wants.
    and that there won’t be any negotiations, that this is it, thank you for all the wonderful things you have done for me, but this is where we have to part ways.

    now this whole time, he was sitting there stone-faced, listening. he didn’t say a word until i finished.
    and he stood up and started YELLING at me, in a public place, among many other people present!!
    he said that i was an ungrateful***** that was only good for one thing apparently and that “you can’t make a wh*re into a lady” ……..he said he was going to sue me for all that i’ve got because he DID pay for me to have a breast aug. at the begining and he will “rip the bags out of me with his own hands” and i owe him ALL the money that he gave me.
    he kept ranting and raving for like 5 minutes straight, and i was in such shock that i sat there frozen because people were stopping and staring and he just kept going!!

    i have NEVER seen him act like that. now i’m begining to think he either has gotten so used to getting what he wants all the time, and if he can’t have me he will try threatning me. OR, he really is a mentally-sick individual and needs medication and therapy.

    there was a family standing watching the whole thing and the father came up told my ex-SD to back off, that he was TPD [police] and asked me if i needed to be escorted back to my car and have them follow me so i get home safe.
    i am SO grateful for that family. and i guess luck was on my side since the dad was a cop.
    as we were walking away, my ex-SD yelled that “this isn’t the end, ****, i will sue you for all you’ve got and make your life a living he**, an eye for an eye, *****” i mean, he was acting like a LUNATIC =/

    the dad told me that if he shows up at my apt, call 911 immidiately. and the mom gave me their house number just in case, because they live 5 minutes away from me.

    i turned my phone off yesterday after that, and i had to work last night. when i came home, i turned my phone back on i had 76 new text messages, and my voicemail was full. all from him.
    i was at work last night, so i don’t know whether he came by or not. but my best friend and her 6’4, 360 lb boyfriend live in my apt complex and i’m going to go there in a bit to stay with them for a couple days, because i don’t want to be home if he does end up coming here looking for me.
    i had never thought he would have taken it like THAT. threatning me. does he have any grounds to sue me?? and the car issue…monday i will drop it off at his house when he’s at work and hopefully his behaviour doesn’t escalate any more than yesterday. because he really did scare me. A LOT.
    i just hope he got the message. that i am NOT coming back. :(

  53. lala-SB says:

    Hello everyone, normally just a lurker but I have an important question. Has anyone received an email from an SD asking for their phone number in the first email? I’m not sure whether to give my number out even though he provided me his? I Like his profile but I don’t feel comfortable giving my number out that easily. What would you guys do?

  54. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugars hows everyone?
    bye lisa you work so hard(hug)

  55. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone
    off to work for me
    Have a good saturday

  56. SF SD says:

    G’nite, DG. :)

    Actually, the first topic wasn’t so bad. Any more ideas or memorable experiences with sugar treats?

  57. DorkyGuy says:

    If we were only concerned with what’s best for him, it would be best for her to break it off in a bar full of hot ladies, and to make a public scene that will inspire sympathy for him.

    You’re going him a favor. 1) It broadcasts to all the lady onlookers that he’s capable of pulling a hot girl (you), and 2) it broadcasts that he’s available and in need of sympathy.

    Another idea would be to do something like “I gave the car to my great-aunt Jane, who has agreed to take over as your SB. She’ll be calling you to set up a meet when she gets back from her quilting club. You will make a lovely couple! She’s so excited… She’s selling the car to pay for a new hip, which she can’t wait to try out in bed with you!”

    I need to get more sleep…

  58. Nico~346434~ says:

    Midget – I think the ‘framework’ of each potential relationship is too personal and specific that we can only share our individual experiences.

    I believe it is possible for some to start as a SD/SB and then move to BF/GF. Me specifically, I hold my BF’s to a much higher standard in terms of what I would expect….height, smoking, goals, children…in those areas. I would imagine there are a variety of perspectives on that topic in specific.

  59. lisa says:

    Good evening

    wow I just passed out asleep for awhile, lol

    Yes a new subject is needed.

  60. Midgetfury74 says:

    Yup, i think we need a new topic to discuss… Perhaps, how do you communicate to you potential SD in the begging to determine the framework of your arrangement? What if he wants a GFE/BFE and you want NSA, what is a good compromise for each of you?

  61. SF SD says:

    Thanks for getting us out of this, Nico. Time to move on?

  62. netty says:

    hi guys not be on this site very long so very knew this…iv mailed a sd..waiting his reply xxxxx

  63. Nico~346434~ says:

    I think the bigger ‘problem’ is we’re basing opinions on the limited amount of information provided. Each person’s perspective is simply given after we’ve each processed the information. None wrong….just our perspective. I would assume AZ will take with her the information we’ve provided that she feels will most benefit her circumstance.

    ….if a woman even brings up the word(s) restraining order, it is wise to err on the side of caution and provide advice to give her the confidence to break through the ‘fear’.

  64. bob says:

    Geeze, come on guys….

    In the other thread we were talking about an arrangement being more than just play for pay and forming actual connections with someone, now there is a need or male security when meeting in a public place?

    This guy followed her to work once. thats not being unstable. a guy needs that sort of information some times if he wants to surprise a woman with things. In the context of a man who shows up with a new car as a surprise that seems pretty darn reasonable.

    calling her nonstop seems like the normal thing someone who is wanting a less than NSA relationship would do. the guy has been talking about marriage after all.

    The insult to injury bit was simply that most people would like to get bad news in private. Not over dinner. and certainly not with another guy in tow to drive the point home.

    The guy wants something less NSA from her, i say break it off just the same way you would any other relationship.

  65. NYC SB says:

    this guy followed her to work… i would call that unstable behaviour
    calling her non stop … yup unstable behavior

    i hope she does it in a public place rather than his house… you never know what he may do…

  66. SF SD says:


    I’m with DC on all points: the need to anticipate a range of potential responses, having personal support discreetly available and visible afterward, and choosing a meeting place that is public / neutral / comfortable / familiar.

    There are any number of reasons why these precautions make sense. I won’t bore everyone by enumerating them all. Suffice it to say that I’m confident that our SB friend will deliver the message with the appropriate degree of respect and dignity. We all hope that the SD will understand the message and receive it with equanimity. However, it doesn’t hurt to take prudent steps, even if our assumption (and hope) is that they will not be needed.

    Sorry, but I don’t get your “insult to injury” argument at all, and I’m not sure it’s worth debating.

  67. bob says:

    am i the only one thinking people are getting a bit carried away here?

    have a male friend at the bar?

    the SD has shown signs of being smitten, not being ‘unstable’.

    I’d say show the guy some respect and have ‘the talk’ in as private an environment as you feel comfortable with, ideally a park or something like that with no more than a few people. If you are worried about him getting mad there are a few witnesses, but at least there is enough privacy so that if he takes it hard there isnt the insult added to injury of having the talk at someplace like a bar

  68. lisa says:

    Nitemare I agree, I really needed to call about the chicken fajitas I just purchased , not sure they’ll fit, lol
    Really though it sucks as I am always losing my mom (back when she was speaking to me,lol) in the big supermarket down the street and it would be nice to be able to call her and see where she is rather than look all over the store for her. lol

  69. NitemareSD says:

    lisa Says:

    July 24th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
    hi everyone, back from the store

    Hi Nitemare, sorry I missed you, cell doesn’t work in the store i went to


    I can’t tell you how often that seems to happen. I just can’t imagine how many lost sales – or excess returns – there are at retail because someone can’t call someone about an item they are considering.

  70. lisa says:

    Midgetfury74 That’s what I suggested too. Both my shopping trips were at Memorial city so I had an idea of what I wanted and also checked online to see if some of the stores the things I wanted. I just went to sephora, express, macys, and even some of the smaller end stores like Forever 21 and charlotte russe. You just need to have an idea of what you need and yes maybe an idea of something extravagent that you want just in case he suggests it.

  71. Midgetfury74 says:

    livinlearn… I always have in mind what I am shopping for and search it online to see if the stores that will be available carry that item. That way you have a list of *wants* so you are not just wandering aimlessly and then you can mention to your SD that you are interested in XYZ and he will have a general idea of what you would like. Using that method i have not had a problem yet in the SD saying I am asking for too much or the shopping budget that day will not cover all of my wants. I hope that helps.

  72. lisa says:

    AZ I wouldn’t meet him in a bar or club, since you are trying to break it off with him and it’s not a date, pick a safe, family type place, maybe a shopping mall, bookstore, etc, Try to have a friend tag along not far behind.

  73. lisa says:

    Hi livinlearn I have had two experiences shopping with a sd. Both of these were first meetings in which they suggested shopping and dinner.

    first sd was very shy and just followed me as I shopped. I didn’t go overboard, and I had made a mental list of what I needed so I didn’t waste alot of his time. I stuck to buying basics such as cosmetics, perfume, clothes, etc.

    second sd was going to take me shopping for a dress to wear to an event we were to attend. He was a little dominating in the shopping as far as picking out stuff he thought i’d look good in. I ended up getting a couple nice dresses and some shoes that I couldn’t really wear anywhere else and he asked if I needed any cosmetics so I did go into Sephora for a couple of items.

    You might play it safe by being moderate in your shopping without he suggests something more high end. I keep a mental list of what I want or need so I’m not just walking around buying stuff just to buy stuff.

  74. Midgetfury74 says:

    AZ SB … i would definitely insist on meeting somewhere public just to be safe.

  75. livinlearn says:

    Hi Everyone,
    Does anyone care to share their experiences shopping with an SD? I’m taking my first trip next week. I feel sort of strange…aka what is the budget, etc. He is also giving me cash for my “travel”, aka driving 40 mins. I want to do what is polite. Please feel free to share your experiences or point me to a blog archive :)

  76. DC says:

    AZ SB-

    Definitely meet in a public place and make sure a few people have your back. Matter of fact I might even have a male friend sitting at the bar keeping a close eye on you just in case and after you say good bye to the SD have this friend go with you to your car. Don’t want to scare you but it never hurts to take precautions. This SDs ego is going to be hurt and he has already exhibited signs of being a bit unstable.

    Midget- As far as how to handle gifts, I like to keep things simple and have them give me cash. Cash is king. How they handle it at their end is their business.

    Good luck AZ SB. I hope it all goes well and you can close that chapter and move on.

  77. SF SD says:

    Meeting in a neutral, semi-public place sounds like a good idea, for a number of reasons.

    My comment to Nitemare was a joke. I think bob’s right here — no gift, no tax. If you’re concerned at all, a few minutes of online research or a quick call to an accountant would confirm it.

    Hope it goes well.

  78. bob says:

    AZ SB,

    it’s not a concern. you can give back a gift with no gift tax liability for either party.

    the irs can and DOES use some common sense once in a blue moon.

  79. lisa says:

    hi everyone, back from the store

    Hi Nitemare, sorry I missed you, cell doesn’t work in the store i went to :(

    I got some chicken fajitas, cheese, tortillas,and sour cream so i’m making quisadillas. :)

    Wow AZ i’ve never had that dilemna.

  80. AZ SB says:

    and what is this gift tax? how is that going to effect me giving the car back on my taxes? please explain.

  81. AZ SB says:

    i just called the MVD, and you were all correct. i CAN transfer the title back to him in his name. which i will do today, infact, right after i leave this response.
    and have “the talk” with him tonight, i have to meet him at his house…but is it me being too paranoid now to ask instead of meeting him at his house to meet at some restaurant for dinner instead? i feel as if this would be “safer” when there is lots of people around to break the news to him, instead of just us alone at his ranch which has acres and acres of space between him and his neighbors, in the case that something MIGHT happen.
    well, thank you all SO much for your imput and advice. i really appreciate it =)
    i will let you all know how it goes tonite.

  82. SF SD says:

    Nitemare – If this is really an issue, she could fill in $1 as the purchase price and tell daddy that he owes state use tax on a buck. :) Come to think of it, she should incorporate first, declare the Benz as a business asset and deduct the loss-on-sale at tax time. 😉

    Seriously, any legal counseling service should be able to answer this question, which is why at some point she should thank all of us amateur attorneys and psychologists and have a convo with someone who knows how these things are done in Arizona.

  83. bob says:

    then there was no gift

  84. NitemareSD says:

    bob Says:

    July 24th, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    the person doing the giving is responsible for the gift tax.


    And when she gives the car back… 😮 ?????

  85. bob says:


    the person doing the giving is responsible for the gift tax.

    az sb,

    restraining orders are typically only an option when there is a credible fear for your physical safety. that doesn’t happen just because you are worried about something, but normally requires an actual attack. In any event, I would consider it a last option as it is a serious step. Restraining orders typically last no longer than a few years BUT they can have lifetime consequences for the person they are filed against.

  86. Midgetfury74 says:

    dun du dahh… the plot thickens, will AZ have to file her gift tax return? and while we are on the topic how do other SB handle their allowance? Do you claim it as earnings or just consider it magic money that the govt never has to know about? just curious ….and stupid posting too fast warning, how i loath seeing you 😛

  87. SF SD says:

    AZ – I don’t know this guy, so all my previous disclaimers apply.

    There is a principle called reciprocity that is one of the most strongly ingrained social forces in human society. Basically is says that when somebody gives you something, you feel obligated to them, whether you wanted what they gave you or not. Many people are skilled at using this principle to manipulate others. Just give the car back and eliminate this distraction. It may be as simple as going into the DMV and signing a paper.

    You need to talk to an attorney or legal counseling service to find out about restraining orders and other legal options, what’s required to use them, what they accomplish, and when to use them. My guess would be that legal measures are not the first thing to try. If he is a decent guy, he may just walk away once he gets the message that the relationship is REALLY over. But I don’t know. You need to talk to somebody who does.

    You say you have already discussed the NSA part of the arrangement, and he continues to try to persuade you. So this is clearly not something you are going to resolve through logical discussion or by appealing to his sense of fair play, respect for you, etc. My guess is that the persuasion techniques will escalate and will not end until you stop responding to him.

    Ending this relationship, really ending it, while limiting hurt and anger, is going to be a difficult conversation. Since you are a medical student, see if you can get a referral to a professional who is familiar with with obsessive behavior and practice having this conversation with them. You’d do this to prepare for a job interview, so why not for a conversation that may be far more important to your safety and well-being?

  88. bob says:

    AZ SB,

    if you think you could have more easily simply walked away without the car then give it back.

    it doesnt matter that it’s in your name or that it’s paid off. you CAN say “ohh here’s the keys, take the car back” if it truly is in your name at most all you would have to do is sign on the dotted line on the car’s tittle, giving it back to your soon to be former SD. If you don’t want him to know you are breaking it off, order a replacement title from the state, sign it to transfer ownership and drop it off with the keys when you have ‘the talk’

  89. NitemareSD says:

    Will AZ have to file a gift tax return!

  90. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    AZ- Don’t see how this is up for debate. You need to terminate that rapport immediately.

  91. NYC SB says:

    AZ – when breaking it off just simply tell him “i have taken steps to transfer the ownership of the car back to you. at this point i think its time to part ways but i am thankful for all you have done for me in the past”

    thats all…

  92. vixen says:

    Icarus-I have no clue what you mean by using social media to keep things fresh? Do you mean linking your facebook and myspace accounts to your SA profile to get more views?

  93. vixen says:

    AZ-” i have caught him following me to work once”..call me crazy but I would’ve ended the relationship immediately after that incident..plus the fact that you “can’t stand being around him, much less being intimate with him” is an indication its time you move on. What does the car have to do with your breakup? Since its a gift you can choose to keep it. I personally would gift the car back to him inorder to break all ties. As a prospective doctor, i’m sure you’re aware a 40k car really isnt a big deal. When you get to where you want to be in life, you can afford better for yourself without the added pressure of being followed or discomforted.

    Take him somewhere semi-private and gently break the news to him. Let him know how grateful you are for the car and everything else he’s done, but that you are both at divergent paths. Whatever excuses you come up with when speaking with him, just be very firm. Don’t allow yourself to waver or let him dangle any more presents in your face. You look alot more of a “huge you-know-what” staying with someone who has developed feelings that you cannot reciprocate than you do if you just choose simply to end the relationship.

  94. AZ SB says:

    and thanks to everyone else, haha…you guys respond so quick! :)

  95. AZ SB says:

    thank you SF. in fact, the FIRST thing i did when he gave me the car was check with the MVD whether the title was indeed in my name. which it was. i was hoping it hadn’t been actually, that way i could have just given the car right back without question. i’ll have to look into the part about transferring the title back to him, because it weighs so much on my concience now. that car is like a friggin’ ball and chain. and you’re right, it is possibly a desperate attempt to try and control me.
    i need to make a clean break-off with him, and i know you say to be firm and not give in. which i CAN do, it’s just finding the right way to say it to him without escalating the problem even more.
    my best friend mentioned getting a restraining order if he doesn’t leave me alone after i end it, is that too much? because i don’t know all the lagalities of it. i don’t want him to have repricussions because of it, because he’s NOT a bad guy per say, he’s just not the RIGHT guy for ME right now or in the future. and it makes me very nervous knowing he has followed me to work before.
    i guess i would also like some advice on kind of what to tell him when i break it off without again, escalating this any more. [btw, i have told him that this was a NSA arrangement, but he pushed the issue saying that he has done so much for me why can’t i give him a chance at a ‘real’ relationship?]

  96. Midgetfury74 says:

    Nitemare… what a dramatic entrance for you today and what a dramatic exit that will be for AZ SB. But still it made me laugh, so i’m loving it right now 😛

  97. NitemareSD says:

    AZ tell that SOBSD take his cheap stinkin 40K Mercedes (while throwing keys in his face) back and its too late to buy you a real 85K mercedes and no cheap micro dick SD is gonna ever get you anyway anywhere and if you ever smell him again you are going to take out a restraining order.

    Problem solved.

  98. Midgetfury74 says:

    AZ SB…. I think that you really need to have a serious sit down discussion with your SD and explain to him exactly what it is you feel and give specific examples. “When you ask me to perform this sexual act ….., it makes me feel demeaned/embarrassed/abused (whatever best describes how you feel).” Also I would go back to your original conversation in establishing your arrangement and reiterate what you want out of the arrangement and what you are/are not able to put into it. This would be a good place to point out that you are not looking for a bf/gf situation and because you are still in med school your can not commit to the time/emotional obligations that come with being in a committed relationship. I would also be very direct in saying that you are very much uncomfortable with him invading your personal privacy by stalking you. ….Now this is the tough part after all this is said, if he does not understand or accept this then you have to really consider walking away from this arrangement. Under no circumstance are you obligated to continue with him because he bought you a vehicle(or anything else). To me it sounds more that he did it to push you again a wall and make a hard decision, which is not cool.

    Hope all works out for the best and please keep up posted.

  99. SF SD says:

    AZ – I’ve never dealt with this situation. I know one or two people who have. So this is second-hand advice. Please take it with a grain of salt and temper it with advice from other trusted and experienced sources.

    Given the situation as you’ve described it….

    The man has become obsessed with you.
    You cannot influence his behavior so that it stays within acceptable limits.
    The situation is getting worse.
    You no longer want to see him.
    He is making dramatic, possibly desperate, gestures in an attempt to control you.

    This situation is not specifically an SB/SD phenomenon. It can happen in other types of relationships. As you have correctly concluded, you need to break this off, in no uncertain terms, and the sooner the better.

    Consider these steps:

    – In whatever communication method that is most efficacious, tell him that the relationship is over. Remind him that this is NSA, and that you do not need to justify your decision. Be firm and polite. Do not discuss or argue.

    – Avoid further attempts to persuade, rationalize, defend, assist, or otherwise engage in further conversation, no matter how he tries to persuade you to do so. Once you have delivered the initial message, the best response is no response.

    – Be prepared for continued phone calls, and other attempts to reach you, over a period of days or weeks. Do not answer his calls, and consider using electronic methods to screen them. Change your phone number if you have to.

    – Based on what you know about him, consider whether measures might need to be taken for your personal convenience, safety, or peace of mind. Consider staying with a friend or relative temporarily.

    – Keep records of his further attempts to contact you, in case you need this information to support future legal action (hopefully you won’t).

    – Consult a professional in the mental health field for further advice on how to deal with someone exhibiting this type of behavior, and for suggestions on things you can do to maintain your own sense of well-being until he gives up and goes away.

    The situation with the car sounds complex, but it may be the simplest issue to deal with. Use the license number or vehicle identification number to check with the motor vehicle department. If the title is actually in your name, they should have procedures you can use to transfer ownership back to him.

    Consult with legal and mental health professionals for advice on the how to proceed, and on the procedural and legal remedies that may be available in your state, should you need them.

    Be brave and hang on. This is not your fault. You have no further obligation to this man. Our hearts are with you.

  100. AZ SB says:

    hey everyone…long time lurker, first time poster lol. i have a HUGE delimma, and i would really appreciate it if you guys could give me some input and advice. i have been with my SD for about 6 months, at first he was the perfect SD, i likes being with him and we had a lot of fun together, AND he LOVED spoiling me. but in the past couple months, he has gotten more and more pushy and needy. he has told me he wants a ‘traditional GF/BF’ type relationship, and has even mentioned the “M” word. i’m a medical student, and i work full-time at a local hospital, i’m definetly NOT looking for a full-time boyfriend. and as much as i care for him, i’m definetly NOT inlove with him…and i just can’t marry someone just for money when i don’t love him. also, when we have been intimate these past couple months he has wanted me to do things that i am TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY uncomfortable with. and when i expressed my views to him, he got even MORE demanding and pushy. it has gotten to the point where i dread seeig him.
    ALSO, he has been blowing up my phone and i have caught him following me to work once.
    but last week, he showed up at my apartement in a brand new mercedes [sp?] 500SLK [you know, the one with the big grill lol] and told me that this is for me, in my name, paid off in full, and insurance for a year paid off in full. this car is worth over 40 grand!!
    now i don’t know WHAT to do…i mean, it’s in MY name and the car is totally paid off, but it feels like he’s trying to “buy” me and buy my “love” i guess, and now it feels like i’m obligated to stay with him.
    it’s like a trap.
    and i can’t say “ohh here’s the keys, take the car back” because it’s in my name and paid off. but i CANNOT be around him anymore, i mean i literally get sick and dread seeing him everytime i have to met him now. i can’t stand being around him, much less being intimate with him.
    if he hadn’t gotten this car for me it would have been slightly easier to break things off, but now i would look like a huge you-know-what if i did because he has gotten such a huge gift for me. but i can’t fake emotions, and i can’t stand being around him anymore…besides the fact that he’s turned out to be a controlling, insecure, and needy…he wants me to do things in bed that totally disgust me.
    how do i end this?? what to do?? any advice would be GREATLY appreciated<3

  101. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone

    Looks like a sunny day here today
    Going to the store in a little while

    Icarus I have had over 300 views of my profile and only a handful of messages, mostly the same old scammers that email me every time I change my profile 300 views, 5 or 6 emails, 0 dates

  102. NYC SB says:

    Massages also go a long way… especially if an SD or SB had a bad day… its better if it is not a professional one (aka the SD or SB gives the massage to the other party)

  103. Icarus says:

    Does anyone use social media for keeping things fresh? I am new and have only had one view of my profile – and only one of four have read my email – so I am looking at branching out to Social media: YouTube, Twitter, etc. as a way to keep in touch.

    What do you think about social media to keep things fresh?

  104. SF SD says:

    Not scared off, Michelle, just busy running a meeting. Great ideas, everyone.

    Since we’re early on, I’ve been trying to come up with a “shared experience,” and there are some great ones here. Mentoring, too, in this situation. And making something — dunno what it is, but maybe I’ll get an inspiration in the shower…

  105. Nico~346434~ says:

    Actually….those are GREAT ideas!! I love them!!! SF SD ~ I completely agree with you regarding the photos. I like the idea because it’s not just the ‘sex’ of it all but all the time, effort and thought that went into the gift.

    I love chocolate covered strawberries…a favorite of mine. My SD knew this and held on to the memory and then, without warning or notice I received a fedex. They were gourmet chocolate covered strawberries!!!!!!!!!!!!! They were wonderful!!!!!

  106. SisyphusSB says:

    I’m feeling creative today so I thought I’d chime in :)

    1. Fulfilling a sexual fantasy. Maybe he’s into S&M and wants you to give it a try….or roleplay…master/slave, teacher/student, cop/robber 😛

    2. A selfish good deed maybe? Such as cleaning the kitchen, or organizing that disaster of a bookshelf/office. I say selfish because I’m a bit obsessive compulsive when it comes to messy houses and it drives me nuts sometimes lol.

    3. Taking a class together, like cooking, or scuba diving.

    4. Take him somewhere without telling him the destination or, pick a random spot on the map, and then go there :)

    5. Get out your favourite board games and turn them into strip/sex games, or drinking games…or both. or maybe strip chess?

    6. Take some art courses…and then buy body paint :)

    7. Go camping, and when no one is looking, skinny dipping.

    8. Get each of you to make a list of things you’ve never done before and do them. Even if they were things that seemed completely crazy, or scary, or you couldn’t afford it before. (ie. skydiving)

    Hmm…I suppose I’m not as creative as I thought, that’s all I’ve got so far.

  107. SB Michelle says:

    Sad to say, but yes. I think I chased everyone away lol :)

  108. Midgetfury74 says:

    SF SD… For me especially because I am a recent grad in a tough job market my previous SD reached out to his colleagues and spread my resume around which resulted in several interviews. As I have mentioned before part of the SD/SB arrangement for me is having a SD who is willing to mentor me in my young adult career and academic decisions. This experience was very useful to me as I had the opportunity to practice my interviewing skills which will be helpful to me longterm, not just a momentary pleasure.

  109. lisa says:

    everyone’s gone :(

  110. SB Michelle says:

    What would be sweet a SD could do is make me something. Call me weird, but taking the time and effort to make something makes me tingle. Especialy if he knows me well enough that he knows I will love it.


  111. SB Michelle says:

    How about maybe role playing? That’s fun!


  112. SF SD says:

    So, turnabout, ladies — how about some ideas for us gents? Aside from the obvious things like chocolate, flowers, and shopping, what has an SD done for you that was extra sweet?

  113. SF SD says:

    Well, Nico, I think there’s some truth to the idea that us guys, when you get down to it. are really pretty simple — just f**d me and f**k me, right? So variations on those themes are pretty sure winners.

    The thing about the photos was not just that they were sexy. It’s everything it took for her to do the session. Buying lingerie (tough assignment, there), getting the time alone, arranging for a good photographer, and setting things up in a place that looked ordinary but had a special meaning.

    So sometimes it’s the creative thoughts and insights that turn commonplace things into treasures. ‘Course, I’m down with spicy sex, too.

  114. Nico~346434~ says:

    Thank you SF for the feedback from the SD’s perspective. I’ve often wondered what could we, as SB’s do to keep it fresh. After seeing everybody’s input thusfar, it would seem as though it involves sweets/baking and nudity or even sex. Photos call for creativity and provides a more ‘lasting’ memory.

    Okay, call me silly but I like to spice up the sex regardless…that’s just in my nature. I know that my relationship is more than just sex though…there’s got to be more to it for an SD….or, is the saying, “give a man a remote, sex and a sandwich and he’s happy” comment true (not necessarily in that order)?

  115. lisa says:

    Hi everyone Back from work and in the middle of a storm.
    Going to shut the computer off till the storm passes.

    Midgetfury, be prepared to travel as Texas sds will not even travel 200 miles to meet. I have contacted several or been contacted by those from Dallas or Austin and they will not travel, it’s just too far even though their profiles say they like to travel, lol

    Be back later

  116. SF SD says:

    DG and others — Thanks for the words of appreciation. Given my blog-newbie status, I think I learn far more from others here than I contribute. Variety of backgrounds and experiences, respectful questioning of ideas, and stephan’s practiced touch with mod-era-tion are what make this blog.

    On topic — My SB had a photographer gf come over and do a lovely photo session, which she sent me out of the blue. That and her text messages keep her in mind when she’s away.

  117. SF SD says:

    DG and others — Thanks for the words of appreciation. Given my blog-newbie status, I think I learn far more from others here than I contribute. Variety of backgrounds and experiences, respectful questioning of ideas, and stephan’s practiced touch with moderation are what make this blog.

    On topic — My SB had a photographer gf come over and do a lovely photo session, which she sent me out of the blue. That and her text messages keep her in mind when she’s away.

  118. Monique says:

    Hellok everyone, great ideas. I donot have a sd yet, but I hope to find one soon. When I do, the cupcake and the batter is a very good idea. Sending a sext message is a delicous way to start foreplay to get daddy started and you can finish when you get to see him in person.

  119. Midgetfury74 says:

    Dorky.. Love the avatar 😛

  120. DorkyGuy says:

    I love SF SD’s posts. SA should approach him to write a regular column.

  121. SB Michelle says:

    Ways to keep it fresh, I never had an arrangement yet but I would think a random sext message, striptease, bring home another beautiful lady, or photos would work. I really liked the cupcake idea, very creative.


  122. Midgetfury74 says:

    Lisa… I have expanded my search to the great state of Texas. We shall see what sort of result that has.

  123. NYC SB says:

    vixen – i admire your confidence… i really really do… no pair of shoes can give me that kind of confidence :) maybe i should sign up for lessons with you 😉

  124. vixen says:

    NYC SB- I’ve never really felt threatended by another woman when going into a threesoome. The point is you have to be the one to choose whom it’ll be not your SD. Whenever I choose the other woman, I’ve done a good enough of an evaluation where I know when it comes down to it, in bed she’s really no competition. Anything she can do, trust I can do much better. By that point I’ve had enough experience with my SD’s body and tastes so what can she really do but look to me for guidance. I may chose her however for a specific skill set. I’m 100% of the belief that passion (in and out of the bedroom) holds an SD more than just a pretty face and nice personality will. Theres plenty of those around anywhere. Maybe I’m not worried because I’m not the conventional just lay on your back chick in bed. I love giving as good as I get and providing that experience he’s most likely not had with any other SB. I’d feel alot more threatended by the girl next to him buying the louboutin shoes 😉

    -ok back to work

  125. darkshines says:

    Lisa and SF SD – Looks like a ball gag to me 😉

  126. CupCake says:

    I concur NYC SB …. you can tell a lot about a woman her confidence level by the shoes she wears .. the higher the heel he better!! My everyday casual shoes are still 4 inch coach platform wedges! Sexy shoes = One Bad Mamma Jamma!!

  127. NYC SB says:

    SF SD no subtleties from my end… i think heels are sexy and for me they make me feel vixenish whenever i have them on :)

  128. SF SD says:

    I’m detecting a subtle trend here…

  129. NYC SB says:

    above of course! and of course there were heels involved 😀

  130. NitemareSD says:

    Was the apron above or below the knee?

  131. NYC SB says:

    another idea… havent done this with an SD but a bf a while back… had him watch me bake brownies for him… except instead of him licking the batter off the bowl i had a different ideas as to where the left over batter went… and i had a lot of left over batter … oh and ummm i cooked in nothing but an apron… i think that went over really well 😉

    i should change my name to naughty sb

  132. NYC SB says:

    here is my two cents on threesomes – you bring another girl into the picture… who may be just as pretty or prettier than you… and maybe just maybe she is better sexually than you… congrats you have just introduced your SD to a brand new SB… maybe im just being silly but thats my take on the situation

  133. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone.
    Off to work soon
    Have a great day everyone

  134. GoodGirl says:

    SFSD~Sounds intoxicating :)
    Midgetfury74~I went to the grocery store! LOL! No sweets for me though! I had a date with my friend…she’s a personal trainer. :(
    Cupcake~thats what i thought you meant…I wonder if those girls would ever get together. You know, dinner AND dessert?? 8)
    Vixen~That is a great idea (not for everyone) but, i do agree with you…that might be something for AFTER my personal trainer BFF whips my butt into shape! 😉 Also, as it turns out, i’m not as bad as i thought! She kept telling me how tight my skin is…i think thats good anyway! And we did the pinchy body sizing thing too. Now I know exactly what to do. She says it is mostly my diet, which I changed today, so, we’ll see!!! 😀 😀 😀

  135. lisa says:

    Hi Nico, have had to have the computer off because of the storm that’s moving through and I don’t want to take a chance of the power going off with it on. Going to bed soon as I have to work tomorrow.
    Have a good night everyone

    Good night Nitemare if you’re lurking

  136. vixen says:

    keeping it fresh with your SD:

    Suprise him with a threesome ( pick who the other other woman will be…just make sure she is someone you trust and isnt sexually more advanced than you)

    ps. yeah i know its not for everyone

  137. Nico~346434~ says:

    LOL @ Lisa….you crack me up 😀

  138. lisa says:

    cooking tip for the ladies:

    Never use regular cake mix or whatever to try to make a cake in the microwave, it doesn’t work, I tried it a couple weeks ago and I got some weird boiling stuff that looked like pudding, but very unappealing.

  139. CupCake says:

    GoodGirl yes a human sushi plate is much like the human cupcake plate to which I was referring lol.

    Oh and SF SD I read your last post (on the previous topic) as well. Very well said. Although I am not an SD I would like to think I am a compassionate person.. and I think that even with the premise of this site being about set “arrangements” one shouldn’t lose sight of the fact that helping and or enriching someone else’s life has an invaluable reward. I am not in a position to inspire or help others financially (hence my SB title) but I think making someone laugh. smile, and creating new experiences and fabulous memories are all just as pleasurable as a thousand dollar shopping spree and it can last longer too! I appreciate a man that can admit that I have things he wants but not only does he seek sharing in pleasure with me but that he gets pleasure in watching me grow as a person and pursue my dreams.. as opposed to a man who is insecure and feels the need to stifle my growth. Anyway.. you get the point SF SD.. good job.. (just don’t let it go to your head 😉 )

  140. lisa says:

    it just looks weird as it looks like a clown nose and well i’ve never found clowns sexy. lol I hope she doesn’t have any other surprise “attachments” in mind, lol

  141. Midgetfury74 says:

    hmmm, all this talk about cupcakes, batter and cake eating has made my sweet tooth go into overdrive… I feel an impromptu trip to the grocery store coming on :)

  142. SF SD says:

    GoodGirl – Actually went to a party a few years ago where the cake was eaten off the birthday girl, in much the manner you suggest. It was chocolate.

  143. SF SD says:

    CupCake – Well sometimes they don’t start out to be amusing, but there are lots of muses here. Plenty of good material.

  144. SF SD says:

    Lisa – I wonder whether our lady at the top of the blog has prepared a disguise for her SD. I hope he’s ready.

  145. CupCake says:

    Ha Ha perhaps SFSD but it goes to all the right places…

    By the way your posts were some of the most amusing.

  146. SF SD says:

    CupCake – Figured you were the kind of girl who would eat the batter. :)

  147. GoodGirl says:

    Bob~back at ya :)
    Cupcake~sounds yummy! Like those sushi covered girls!! 😉

  148. CupCake says:

    Hi Everyone! Wow you guys really post some interesting stuff! I just spent the last hour reading the previous post… very intriguing!

    I would say a great way to keep any relationship fresh is to add a sweet treat to the deal… perhaps he is greeted with his very own personalized dessert that includes his SB lying on the table or bed covered in strategically placed cupcakes and a trail of fluffy frosting…if the SB has got it going on than I bet it will taste just as good as it looks!

    (Ok so maybe I like doing that for the simple fact that I love sweets and get to spoil myself with some of the treats during the preparation process 😉 )

  149. bob says:

    GoodGirl… Consider yourself emailed 😉

  150. lisa says:

    or is that her eyeball bulging out red

  151. lisa says:

    ok coming over to this topic now
    I think surprises are nice on both sides of the sd/sb relationship but not being a very creative person myself, I’m blank for ideas.

    And what happened to the woman in the top picture’s nose?

  152. GoodGirl says:

    LOL DC :)
    Bob~ Gave you some info at the bottom of the last thread…
    Topic~hmmmm….since I haven’t been in an sd/sb relationship for more than a month yet, and have yet to get intimate with an sd, It’s always been pretty fresh for me!!! I suppose it can’t be too far away from what you’d normally do to keep a relationship fresh. ie:try new things, suprises ect…
    LOVE the idea of louboutin and pearls…if I ever get a pair of those shoes, i will be giving that a try 😉

  153. DC says:

    Re-posting for new thread:

    Hey SF SD! You always make your point with grace and intelligence and I could not agree more.

    As long as the SD and SB are on the same page in the arrangement, including an arrangement like what Bob is looking for, then I see nothing wrong with it. But I do think the majority of SBs and SDs are looking for the power in the relationship to be somewhat equal as well as emphasizing the importance of a true bond and friendship. Not just a servant and master kind of thing…unless that is what you are into 😉

  154. Midgetfury74 says:

    SF SD…i did in fact read your last post on the previous blog and would agree that the arrangement that I am looking for is one in which I invest my time and energy in creating a enjoyable experience for my SD while he is able to support and mentor me through my academic and career choices.

    In response to the topic… I like finding new adventures in Houston for me and my SD especially when there are time constraints to deal with. With my last SD because I was comfortable with him there would be the coy sext message with visual aids to help him get through those days jammed packed with day long meetings :)

  155. SF SD says:

    I’ve experienced this (though sans the Louboutins), and I can attest that it’s an event that is etched permanently in one’s memory.

  156. NYC SB says:

    how about greeting him with nothing but the brand new pair of louboutins that he bought for you and pearls… works like magic and guarantees future louboutin purchases… trust me on this one 😀