9 years ago
Can a Sugar Daddy Give TOO much?


A gift from a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby can give you the sweetest feeling in the word, OR a huge headache?

SF SD: “There is a principle called reciprocity that is one of the most strongly ingrained social forces in human society. Basically it says that when somebody gives you something, you feel obligated to them, whether you wanted what they gave you or not. Many people are skilled at using this principle to manipulate others[…]”

In or out of the Sugarbowl, giving isn’t always as simple as it sounds. Sugar Babies might be confused about how to show appreciation for a gift from a Sugar Daddy. A Sugar Daddy might wonder about when the best time is to present his gift and what he’ll say the gift is for.

There are some very experienced gift-givers on SA – both SD’s and SB’s. One says he learned the art of gifting from his grandfather…

“I developed my sugar-giving technique from watching my Grandpa. He would give me money when I was a kid in the most discreet and sincere way – a handshake. He’d just come over nonchalant and tell me something he was proud of me for and say, while he planted the $$ in my hand, “go buy yourself a hamburger”.

How do/would you prefer the gift-giving to be handled in your arrangement?


Leave a Reply

381 Responses to “Can a Sugar Daddy Give TOO much?”

  1. ertulo says:


  2. debbie says:

    Thanks lisa.
    I had one guy that was interested in me, he gave me is e-mail address and 2 weeks later his PHONE # which was wrong! He kept on e-mailing me and asking me stupid questions….I told him NO GAMES…are we going to meet or what? Anyway, we made arrangements to meet but HE NEVER SHOWED and gave a bogus # …I e-mailed after we were supposed to meet and wrote…”What happened to u yesterday…were u in an accident…a death in the family…what!!::??
    He never wrote me back. I sent him pictures of me and my children and he sent me a picture of him……..what a disaster! I felt so bad he did this to me…What do u think?
    Oh, by the way, I haven’t logged in for a while and forgot my ID and password…what should I do? Any advice?

  3. lisa says:

    debbie it takes about 24 hours for your pics and profile to be approved. Also you can contact sds free but only the orange members can respond back.
    Patience is needed to as no sd is going to buy you a new car or give you a ton of money right away. It might take months to find one. For the meantime while you are waiting on a sd rescue, you need to use your resources to deal with your financial problems. 18 year old car? I have no car and no sd has bought me one so dont’ count on it. Just being honest. It can happen but it takes time

  4. debbie says:

    I tried downloading my pictures, but they are pending. How do I get in touch with the sugar daddy’s? By e-mail or what? Do I need to pay anything to get in touch with them?? I am in debt and need help finding a good job that pays well and need someone to buy me a new car. I have an 18 year old car! But, lost without it. Any advice?

  5. debbie says:

    This is my first time. Any suggestions or comments about getting my sugar daddy to pamper me in a lot of ways

  6. arvonnigs says:

    well i read a few postings and i like to say thanks to TXSugarBabe for that site..im not new to the whole sb thing or sd!! but new to this online site and the newer way of going about things. 1st off there are crazy and strange men trying to HURT and use $ or trips or shopping to gain there prey!!!so i say keep an eye listen to your gut then your mind after your head! street smarts play a great roll in everything… im a dancer so i know that time is money if you want me to sit and talk i better get a drink or a tip…because this is my job so i believe that if i am taking time to see you way across town and you stand me up i just lost profits for my day since i cut hrs from work and other meetings and what not, same for you if i stand you up and you had a million dollar deal to close missed it for me how and what would you think….i think all is game here and i just hope that the men out there notice we are strong woman well most if not all of us, and where not here for games thats why theres dating!!!we are trying to learn get ahead and eat some fine food and wine while we are at it..okay…

  7. Lynndsay McSwan says:

    DORKYGUY… awww thats adorable about dinner with your momma. Id help her with the dishes for sure haha.

    It is what it is….

    I would be turned off if someone demanded sex on the first date… who the hell has the nerve to demand money on the first date….

    I think its okay to get to know each other and then be clear on expectations


  8. missCLEVELAND says:

    Ahh creepy stories.. :S

  9. racheljayok says:

    Sweet, thanks!

  10. TXSugarBabe says:

    Oh I just found the other site with the list of bad guy names, btw. Very helpful Lisa if you’re reading this -thannks for the tip!

  11. TXSugarBabe says:

    `Nite Lisa!

  12. TXSugarBabe says:

    Yeah I noticed there weren’t any new warnings posted in at least a month over there. Maybe the boys are behaving themselves now?? :)

  13. lisa says:

    Goodnite all

  14. lisa says:

    it was the first result in the search results I think

  15. lisa says:

    gotta get a bath now, have a good night everyone

  16. TXSugarBabe says:

    Where’s the list of “bad guy” names? Is that on a different site?

    The site I was looking at didn’t allow real world names/info to be posted. Just usernames/handles or profile #s

  17. lisa says:

    finally, gee I posted a week ago or so but I don’t see anything current

    I saw your posts on there TXSugarBabe

  18. TXSugarBabe says:

    Hey Lisa…I saw your comments on there! Looks like they got posted?Actually I noticed several familiar names/faces on that site from here.

    Good to see the ladies are keeping each other safe.

  19. lisa says:

    I have logged on to that site and it’s not current. I even posted some comments about a couple of the reported sds on there that had also contacted me, for example “danny” and my comments are still awaiting m o d e r a t i o n. I think it’s a dead site. And the list of names are ok but it would be more beneficial to know in detail what these listed did to be put on the list.

    Gotta hop in the tub now

  20. lisa says:

    I have logged on to that site and it’s not current. I even posted some comments about a couple of the reported sds on there that had also contacted me, for example “danny” and my comments are still awaiting moderation. I think it’s a dead site. And the list of names are ok but it would be more beneficial to know in detail what these listed did to be put on the list.

    Going to hop in the tub now.

  21. Summer says:

    I’ve definitely used that site before too for checking someone out and had to report a bad guy there once. Maybe there aren’t a lot of warnings (I hope?) because there are more good guys than bad in the sugar world? Anyway I read enough horror stories over there to scare the you-know-what out of me! At least my experience wasnt so bad compared to others!

  22. christina*355905* says:


  23. racheljayok says:


  24. NitemareSD says:


    Never seen much on those 2 blogs when I google “fake sugar daddies exposed”

    I think I’ve personally collected more bad stories about women in my short SD career than are on those blogs.

    Someone named TexasugarBaby was apparently stood up by waiting an hour in a restaurant only to receive a text asking to meet the next day instead.

    You’d think there would be a lot more posted just for all the times someone has referred to it on this blog alone.

  25. christina*355905* says:

    Bob! Where’s your profile?! Why are you hiding?!

  26. christina*355905* says:

    Wow! Thanks TX!

  27. TXSugarBabe says:

    I think reading a lot of those stories will also help the *good guys* understand why ladies have to expect the allowance before the relationship turns sexual.

    Let’s face it – most guys aren’t going to put a few grand in your bank account before they rape or kill you!!! That’s a paper trail linking them to the crime and they don’t get their money refunded.

  28. TXSugarBabe says:

    Christina (and all other newbies), there is a website that might really help you since you’re new to this. I don’t know if it’s cool to post urls here so just google the words “fake sugar daddies exposed.” They have a searchable database of the names, profile numbers, etc…of known scam artists, fakes and dangerous dudes.

    The service is totally free, I’ve used it myself to research potentials and it has saved me more than once.

    I know a lot of the ladies from this site have posted alerts on bad guys and there are also reports from several other SD sites around the web.

    Some of the reports are just sooooo scary! Although it’s written for ladies, any of you guys out there wondering why we ladies are so afraid of being alone or intimate with someone new on a first date should read these horror stories for a brush with hard cold reality.

    Reports of guys who flew girls across the country on big promises only to have their way sexually and left them stranded without so much as cab fare. The poor excuse for a human being who passes on communicable diseases to his unlucky sugar babes. The guy who gets an SB pregnant and goes poof. Oh yes, and that kind loving soul who kidnapped his SBs, locked them in a roach motel, beat and raped them before forcing them to turn tricks all day, then beat and raped them some more at night – before the cops came knocking at his door and took him off the SB/SD dating circuit for an extended period of time…thank God.

    Sheesh, just reading that stuff totally creeped me out! These stories will turn your stomach and make your skin crawl just to know that people like this lurk among us in our sweet little sugarfamily!

    There are also some articles on personal safety, tips for negotiating, and how to tell if a pot SD is fake. Definitely would recommend to all the ladies here – the database and tips are very helpful. I use it to research every pot SD before going on a first date.

  29. bob says:

    i’m not making fun of you.

    i had been offering honest advice with the exception of the goat sex bit.

    i’m a dork with a lame sense of humor is all…

  30. christina*355905* says:

    Now, now children lol…Bob if you weren’t such a goof ball I could take your advice but it just seems that you just want to make fun of me =(. And NYC seems to be a pretty successful SB so I think her advice would help alot to get me what I am looking for since she has been able to do so herself. =) There…

  31. NYC SB says:

    Bob I wasnt imposing myself to her… i just merely offered my help… feel free to reach out to her and mold her into the perfect sb if you wish

  32. bob says:


    dont listen to NYC SB… i have much better views on arrangements than she does! listen to me instead! plus im a SD. i can give you inside, super secret intel on how to best handle your SD. nyc sb is just guessing. go right to the horses mouth!


    all kidding aside and no offense to NYC SB, but based upon what christina has said thus far, and what i have read from nyc sb I would suggest christina’s opinions on a arangements are closer in line with my own. as a SD with a vested interest in seeing to it that the ‘norm’ is such that I desire, *I* should be christina’s mentor, not nyc!!!!!!

  33. NYC SB says:

    christina – here is my best tip… many people have different opinons based on what they are looking for in an arrangment. pick a person with which your views on arrangement you agree on and then use their advice to gauge some perspective. i have emailed you and would love to provide some guidance reply back and lets try and get you some answers

  34. christina*355905* says:

    Well, I don’t know if he’s f-ing with me or not. He asked me what I wanted from him and said the ball was in my court so..I told him what I wanted…well I texted so, we’ll see. I told him if he was all what he says he’s cracked up to be all he has to do is prove it to me and he claims he will never lie to me. I generally think that people are good people so I have some faith in him until he proves me different. *sigh* oh well, I am so new to this and I dont’ know how things are suppose to go. I get all sides of it but still nothing concrete. One minute someone says it’s all good jsut go with the flow and the other minute they say he’s a fake…ugg! I don’t really care anymore =) What part of Seattle DC?? North, South?

  35. DC says:

    Hi Christina-

    Just wanted to say hi. I am in Seattle as well and have been dying from the heat. Having lived in foggy SF as well I am not used to this. Thank God it cooled off a bit.

    I read most of the thread about your pot SD. Lots to catch up on.

    Dunno, but I am really curious as to how this plays out. He sounds like he is effin with you. I hate it when guys can’t be straightforward and have to play these games. After you get to know them a bit then if they want to play mind games it’s one thing. But how are you supposed to trust him at this stage when you don’t even know the guy. I hope it works out for you though.

    Hi beach girl!! Will write soon. Had some family drama

  36. TXSugarBabe says:

    Raven, sory this happened, sweetie. I know it’s not a good feeling and there’s nothing you can do now to change the situation.

    But in the future, the best thing to do would be to politely excuse yourself and just walk away when your gut starts telling you the guy isnt real.

    Give him some time to think about why you left when he’s sitting alone in his hotel room “just wanting to be held!”

  37. lisa says:

    Have a great day everyone. I’m headed out to the mall.
    I will pick up a bag of ice to tie on christina’s back, lol

    Nice profile christina

  38. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone just woke up
    I see I missed alot on the blog after I went to bed

    Truth, lighten up a little :) Are you who I think you are?

    off to the shower for me

  39. christina*355905* says:

    llol indasun25 at yahoo

  40. Belle says:

    Hey there christina we can chat if u like
    whats ur im thingo maybe yahoo do dad?
    Belle x

  41. christina*355905* says:

    oo oo! I wanna know what’s going on! I’m tired of talking about mine…and I want to know what others are going through right now cause I am totally lost here!

  42. Belle says:

    Good evening :)

    hows everyone doing tonight???? most wonderful emails to report :) just got back from work and loving the possibilites that lay before me
    Belle xx

  43. christina*355905* says:

    UUhh…whatever floats your boat yo… =/

  44. bob says:

    why would you feel stupid?

    he asked. you answered.

    simple as that. like i said, there are no rules. you dont need to come up with the ‘right’ answer to his question, you just had to answer it.

    i may be retarded, but at least i know how to handle a SD…. er…. i dont know if i should be bragging about that :/

  45. Beach_Girl says:

    Truth~ i’m a good sugar? Thank you!
    I’m off to bed sugars! you all have my email, from previous post, and truth i’m curious who you are?
    nite nite

  46. christina*355905* says:

    I guess it can be anything…I don’t know..I don’t want to offend him but he asked what I wanted from him and I couldn’t come up with anything but what my needs were and I told him. now I feel stupid…ugg..anyways…..

    btw, lol, you are so retarded….

  47. Beach_Girl says:

    christina~ let me know how it went on my email too! i’m curious!
    good luck!

  48. bob says:


    the ONLY rule is that there are NO rules!

    spoiling a woman does NOT have to be about giving her an allowance. a woman can be quite firmly on her own two feet, supporting herself and be very happy simply being given access to the finer things in life that her occupation could not afford her, such as luxury travel or those silly multi thousand dollar pairs of shoes you girls buy.

    just because a SB isn’t getting cash doesn’t mean an arrangement isn’t mutually beneficial. As i’ve said elsewhere I have had more than one arrangement that didnt involve cash. I guess you could argue that popping for vacations or shopping isnt much different than giving cash in the long run, but to each their own.

    BTW. yes. i am a dork. so i resemble that remark too!

  49. Beach_Girl says:

    Christina~ he said he wanted your body and mind? weird !
    you need to be clear with what you need and what, what you are willing and not! be honest, don’t be shy to ask for what you want and don’t settle
    you have my email and msn on my previous blog entree, you can add me there
    i’m off to bed I have to work in the morning

  50. christina*355905* says:

    Btw, you resemble that remark?? lol!!! you are a dork!

  51. christina*355905* says:

    Uh huh…..suuuurreee…..who isn’t?? Anyways, I just read another blog site and they are saying this has nothing to do with finances it’s just a perk. But if that is true then why arrange anything in the begining?? I’m so confused why is there so many different rules, ideas???

  52. Beach_Girl says:

    oups on msn yes lol

  53. Beach_Girl says:

    i’m at lyane1
    i’ll be on for a bit, but i have to get to bed soon!

  54. Beach_Girl says:

    Chris~ sorry i shortened that lol,,, I think we did scare them away, maybe coz of our beauty or coz they think we are just blah lmao!

  55. Beach_Girl says:

    chris~ yes you should ask him if he has some time to talk and he could call you ! i would!

  56. bob says:

    i resemble that remark!

    btw, different strokes for different folks.
    i personally dont go fort he plastic barbie types myself.

  57. Beach_Girl says:

    Where is everyone???? are you all gone or just tired of waiting for the postings?

  58. Beach_Girl says:

    christina~ you are too cute girl!

  59. Beach_Girl says:

    god I can’t post harggggg!!!!
    this is crazy, anyone has msn?

  60. Beach_Girl says:

    bob~ I’m usually in LA, I use to work out there so I know tones of people there and I have a apartment, friends, in Van Nuys

    massgent~ you are right, SB/SD relationships should be sweet as candy, my last SD was awesome and we were together for 15 years

  61. Beach_Girl says:

    bob~ I need to get to the sun, out of 30 days in july, it rained for 19. And it’s cold!
    The housing market didn’t go down a lot in Cali at all..

  62. Beach_Girl says:

    christina~ send him a text! simple , your not bothering, and you can tell him to call you IF he has time!

  63. Christina, I also browsed similar profiles, but what I found was that there is truly a variety of women on this site. I, myself, am not petite. I am 5 ft 10″ and weigh approx 13 stone (180 lb). I am also 31 years old, not a very young woman.

    You are woman, you are all woman. Believe in yourself, and the gentlemen will believe in you, too. We all have moments of insecurity, and the nature of ANY TYPE of dating means that you may not be attractive in the eyes of everyone, just as you may not be attracted to everyone. Be patient. Be kind to yourself. Those are truly the most important things.

  64. Beach_Girl says:

    bob~ FL or CA? if CA I should be there soon!!!hopefully! :)
    christina~ yeah we should all have our # up! so we know who we are talking too!

  65. christina*355905* says:

    There are so many uh….girls that look totally different than me on this site….wow…I feel like fat and plain…that sucks

  66. christina*355905* says:

    You are an ass Bob! lol…

  67. bob says:

    ut oh!
    he… gets up early ?!??!

    you dont know what thats code for ?!??!

    oh my!


  68. christina*355905* says:

    No he gets up early every day so he’s in bed pretty early.. I just emailed him and told him that I texted him tonight so I could get all my thoughts out all together now but obviously I dont know what she provided to him for him to allow her that much. and that we still need to get clear on what he expects from me andn that it is a work in progress and I think it’s moving along nicely and I appreciate his patience.

  69. Christina, you are new to this , as am I…..perhaps you could do what I did. I let my pot sdd know that I was new and asked that he guide the proceedings. It’s def not a fool-proof approach, but it could work wonders for you?

  70. bob says:

    are you going to talk to him more tongiht?

  71. christina*355905* says:

    AAhh!!! Too many rules!! Too late! I already said it…well, it’s a negotiation so we’ll go from there I guess…

  72. bob says:

    btw – that said – please consider one thing…

    lets PRETEND for the moment he comes at you with a lower offer. before you dismiss it out of hand look at what sort of investment he is asking you to make, and what sort of return he is offering. Dont examine his offer in light of his past arrangement, but rather what it can offer you.


  73. bob says:


    please dont make the potential mistake of comparing yourself to her. others have told you this as well.

    for all you know she (and he) was into sex with goats, and from what i gather thats not your thing.

    then again maybe this guy will find you much more interesting than his last.

    you should view his last simply as an idea of what he was willing to commit to. each and every arrangement is unique and past performance isnt indicative of future returns and all that jazz.

  74. christina*355905* says:

    Sorry creme! He has he is more then generous and says he allowed his last girlfriend 10k…if it’s true I am going off of that. I told him he has to prove to me and he said that he would…so we’ll see.

  75. I previously posted in the other discussion, but my response to NC Gent givin my profile number is still in moderation!?! And I got the “you are posting too quickly” message despite my response being roughly 2 hours later.

    I am learning a lot from reading Christina’s experience, questions, and all the advice! Thanks for being so candid.

    NC Gent–et al– I would still appreciate your input on my profile, considering how new I am.

    Hoping to get to know you all much better.

    Thanks Guys and Gals!

  76. christina*355905* says:

    Lol! You guys are funny..Okay I text him it and told him to call me and we can work from there. I just needed to get it out now and then we could talk about it. I asked for everything I want and a fraction of the allowance he gave his last girlfriend or he could just give me what he gave her. I think I should be granted such if she was.

  77. bob says:

    you are OBVIOUSLY having the wrong jello! 😉

  78. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    jello – yuck 😉

  79. bob says:

    creme brulee is great but i prefer jello

    i wonder if i’ll be the only one to get that…

  80. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    Christina – First time can be tricky for anyone. Word of advice, do not take your sweet time as is can be viewed as indifference. Does he have an assitance range indicated on his profile?

  81. bob says:

    christina, just tell *HIM* that. not us.

    and you dont have to justify your worth to yourself before you ask, although since he controlls the purse strings you DO have to justify your worth to your SD. thats not to say you should compromise yourself or that if he doesnt agree with you that you were wrong in what you thought you were worth, it just means that you two dont see eye to eye. nothing more than that. people have widely different opinions on many subjects. dont let someone disagreeing with you discourage you. your job as a sb is to find that guy who DOES agree with you (or maybe even then some! 😉 )

    there is no hard and fast rules. you dont necessarily have to come up with a number but a ballpark would be a good idea. just TALK to him and it should come naturally.

    BTW – if you change anything in your profile then it gets kicked back for review. even a bit of text.

  82. christina*355905* says:

    Well, Beach girl saw my pics. Ididn’t add anymore pics I just added something to the text of the profile. Okay…so I am new to this and feel really different just b eing up front about what I want. I have to understand that I am worth it! This is what i want: I want a place to live, a reasonable car to drive and a reasonable allowance a month to live cause I want to pay for school and(I want to make sure I have a piggie bank just in case things dont work out) I dont want to be back at square one. depending on how much we negotiate monthly I wouuld fit in shopping and things in that. how’s that sound? do I have to come up with a number?

  83. bob says:


    if you just added pics then your profile gets put back in cue for review, so it’s not viewable.

    all i get when i try to look at your profile number is a ‘check back in 24 hrs’ msg.

    i’m not coughing up the goods till i get some sugar from you!

    on to your SD issues. just be open and direct with him. it sounds to me that he is looking for that. many men like a confident woman. now that you know he is open to you telling him what you want, go for it! you dont need any advice, just TALK to the guy. you dont need a game plan, just do what comes naturally.

  84. christina*355905* says:

    My pictures are viewable! Where’s your profile BOB!?

  85. christina*355905* says:

    I know!! I am trying but it’s hard! He is giving me one more night to think about it! How can I not be shy?? He says the balls in my court. He says he loves this…like having someone he normally couldn’t have and spoiling the heck out of her….omg..I need some one on one help. This is getting a little personal

  86. vixen says:

    haha Truth comes out the gate Swinging!!

    Truth- you wouldn’t happen to be GinaZ by any chance would you? Hoping she comes back.

  87. bob says:


    is this about the goat sex bit?

    come on now. if you cant make a lame joke about goat sex on a blog like the SA blog, where on earth could you joke about it? (except maybe a goat sex blog, but i dont know of any of those).

  88. Truth says:

    Listen to Beach. She is a good sugar! Cahones not needed. Rude behavior is not heard with pulote chatter. Tried that.

  89. bob says:

    christina… such a tease. your profile is pending review and not viewable.

  90. bob says:

    I’m rude and crude?

    when have i been crude?

    or rude for that matter?

    id say i’m more confused than rude or crude.

  91. christina*355905* says:

    Wow Truth, lol…you got some cahones on ya! haha! I like it!

  92. christina*355905* says:

    okay f it! I can’t remember the password and I just typed up the whole convo and it just erased it all! uugg!! okay here it goes again.,

    after i said i was interested in getting to know him better that I have some questions. he said k. i said K?! and he said I wonder if you are up for this. I said i wonder what you mean by that cause it’s very simple unless you have some other complicated ideas on how this is suppose to happen. he said I want your body and your mind per our agreement, simple. i said okay if you are really true then I would expect some proof. i trust you to an extent but I have to protect myself here. and we need to talk more about our agreement. You’ve only asked me what I would be comfortable with and what y ou ahve done in the past. We have not make any agreements. if you’d like to do so now. be the upfront and honest guy you claim to be. simple =p he said agreed we will negotiate our agreement I will call you at 10:30. to which I replied okie dokie 😉

  93. Farm Girl says:

    Christina – I think he sounds sweet, and just as nervous as you. He keeps asking for assurance that you are interested in him. When you didn’t call as he hoped, he texted, which is “safer” than making a call. He wants you to “use him” to show that he can spoil you. What do you think?

  94. Truth says:

    Men like Bob and Nitemare are not just rude and crude. They are sad and lonely guys that keep the real sugar bloggers away! Who would want to deal with Nitemares multiple blog personalities! You both give sugar a sour taste with you potty mouthed comments. No wonder you both have so much time on your hands to blog. No sane woman would want to view your profile. Stop being so blog Rude! No wonder so many have left the blog. Crude is rude.

  95. christina*355905* says:

    Hello?! Anyone want to know what’s happening??! Beach girl, do you have IM messaging some where?? I can get some input?! And some experienced training 😉

  96. christina*355905* says:

    Okay! He just text me and said “are you interested?” Interested in what?! I said I was interested in getting to know him more that he was nice…is that wrong?? Sorry for the play by play…don’t respond if you don’t have anything positive to say haha!

  97. christina*355905* says:

    yeah! Where is everyone! Did we scare them away with our beautiful pictures?!

  98. christina*355905* says:

    Awww thank you!! You too babe!

  99. christina*355905* says:


  100. bob says:


    huh? christina’s sd didnt take her to the sizzler and tell her to only order the roast beef.

    they met for dinner, hit it off, and told her to call him later.

    thats not too complicated and it’s certainly not him not making things sweet for her. they just met and if she gets off her duff they will be talking more right now.

    seems pretty reasonable to me!

  101. Massachusettsgent says:

    hi, all,

    i think we may have been a little too rough on Christina pot SD today. then, again, she’s a big girl.

    here’s my opinion: traditional SD suppose to suger their SB and makes life easier. what’s the point otherwise. in her situation, it was rougher than she wanted and she didn’t deserve that. no SB should. a sugar arrangement here is suppose to be sweet like candy. SD, if you can’t make life sweet for SB, why are we here. that’s my opinion.

    my advise to Christina: move on. this SD is not for you or too complicated for you. why should you want you life on a string. plenty of sweets here. if a pot SD can’t treat you or make your life easier, move on.

    i’ve met SB here and we meet for lunch or dinner (of their choice and allowed them to order without limits). we chatted and when the chemistry is right, we move on to the next level.

    we all wish each other well here.

  102. bob says:

    beach girl,
    san diego was one of the hardest hit areas and it DID go down a fairly steep amount. just not enough imho – especially for the jumbo market (basically anywhere anyone would want to live in pb or la jolla)

  103. bob says:


    CALL HIM, ya doof!

    you should start the trend of posting profiles.

    and i said i *might* if you do… take it or leave it! i gotta be the man in this blossoming relationship somehow! 😉

    beach girl,

    florida. however ive spent a few months in san diego and am shopping for a vacation pad there. probably in pb or maybe la jolla, but i still think the market has alot of correction left in it in la jolla.

  104. christina says:

    Shoot it’s 8:30! I don’t feel comfortable calling him. I don’t want to give him the chance to blow me off if he is busy or have the ball in his court but I also don’t want him to take it as I am not interested..I mean it would be no sweat off my back if it didn’t happen anyways so I guess who cares..I’m not calling….I don’t call guys..

  105. christina says:

    Start what trend?! What are you talking about??! If I do you will?? or might?? Which one is it??

  106. bob says:

    beach girl,

    the sunshine state

  107. bob says:


    WELL… if *you* think that way, then be a trend setter and start a trend!… put your money where your mouth is. or ummm…. your sugar where your fingers are…. or however one could translate that into blog post speak!

    if you do i will

    (read: might 😉 )

  108. Beach_Girl says:

    Hey Lisa

    Bob~ your not the only one that has trouble posting tonight! Where are you from ?
    I have flyer miles but not enough to get me anywhere lol

  109. christina says:

    What??! I’m not trying to be a “pair” I was just curious! I’m curious about Lisa too and anyone else on here…I think we should have pics up of ourselves so we know who we are talking to…or straight access to a profile just like on AOL….pfft..fine! Be that way =p

  110. bob says:

    ha 3 posts in the same minute is fine now – but one every half an hour before wasnt…

  111. bob says:

    this place needs a chat room

  112. bob says:

    ‘night lisa

  113. lisa says:

    I think i’m going to climb under the covers and watch some tv, going to sleep late tomorrow.

    Have a good night everyone

  114. bob says:


    frequent flier miles kick ass. i’m almost at the level on us air where they will offer me guaranteed seating. even if a flight is over sold and they are needing volunteers to be bumped i could walk up to the ticket counter and still get a seat on that flight. i almost always travel last minute (as in get a flight res int he am, fly that afternoon) so i’m rather looking forward to reaching that status.

  115. bob says:


    i’d want a free test drive (with some off roading and a cross country trip or two – ha! figure out THOSE code words!;) ) so i fear we may not be a good pair :(

  116. lisa says:

    bob I’m having to click about 10 times to get my posts to post, i’m posting too quickly too, lol

  117. lisa says:

    I never get frequent flyer miles because I fly every 3 years or less. Last time I flew was mar 2003 and I haven’t flown domestically in 34 years. All flights since then have been international , last 3 were British Airways.

  118. christina says:

    You first Bob! And I will reciprocate! And it does the same thing to me you just gotta keep going back button then submit comment untill it goes through. It will….

  119. lisa says:

    yes it’s hot but I look hot in my bright colorful sweater too. I think I will wear my polyester pant suit tomorrow.

  120. bob says:


    i largely agree, but once you get to a certain frequent flyer status with us air they all but throw upgrades at ya. I’ll pay 500$ extra for an upgrade to first on a hop across the pond any day, especially if you are just going to london for the weekend.


    whats your profile?

    edit: what gives? lisa made 2 posts at the same time stamp @10:51 but i cant make a post 12 minutes after my last one? does the web site not like me? :(

  121. christina says:

    AAhh!! what??! haha…how I thought it was hot??! Or are you messing with me lol!

  122. lisa says:

    Hi Beach_Girl

    Christina, are you spying on me? I’m sitting here with a pair of stretch polyester pants and a big sweater with sequines and buttons attached to it.

  123. christina says:

    Btw, how do you put a picture up?!

  124. Beach_Girl says:

    Hey sugars!
    how are you all tonight?
    I know a lot of men with money and they dress simply

  125. christina says:

    I understand you can’t judge a book by its cover and that is what I like about people who can still keep it real even when they have above means. I wanna see your profile Bob!! Why are you holding out?! I’ll let you see mine ;).

    Lisa- You sure you don’t wanna get some elastic waste pand pants and a nice flowery shirt with a graphic kitten in the middle??

  126. lisa says:

    I always fly coach, you get there the same time as first class

  127. lisa says:

    well some nerds are preps which means abercrombie and fitch or american eagle. Macy’s is ok , jc penney, i’ve never looked at their men’s clothes

    of and i’m 43 and I wear Abercrombie, Hollister, forever 21, etc I’m not ready to shop the oldies section yet, lol

  128. bob says:


    dont judge a book by it’s cover. i know many a person who dress not only casually but inexpensively but could buy an acre of beach front property in la jolla or palm beach in cash without a seconds hesitation.

    I’m perfectly ok flying commercial coach, but every so often i’ll treat myself with a charter, or at least first on transatlantic flights. and yet i’ll still be wearing the same old sneakers and tee shirt. (sexy, huh? 😉 glad i’m not telling anyone my profile!)

  129. christina says:

    Haha!! Cute!! yeah I have crazy allergies too but I’ve always had cats as an adult and scraped through it..very bad…but I do…I need something to take care of….biological clock is ticking and my life isn’t ready yet.

  130. lisa says:

    I’d like to have a cat but I have allergies and also the apartment wants a huge deposit for one. So I have hairless friends, a turtle aka mr personality and a pigeon named Percy (in my pic) that i’ve raised since he was a baby. He’s super spoiled and hates it when I leave the room (he’s in a box on the floor next to my chair by the computer, and of course the turtle couldn’t care less if i’m here, lol

  131. christina says:

    HHmm..Neither…he is 42 so I don’t thin abrombie and fitch is some thing he would wear..I don’t know it’s not his style…it was more like..uuhh….I don’t know…Macys? Jc Penny?? short sleeve maybe rayon shirt with kacki pants and brown shoes…but they weren’t like the nicest…I don’t know…He is a nerd…nerds don’t make wardrobe a priority right??

  132. lisa says:

    my electric bill in the summer covers almost all of one of my paychecks. and let’s see, rent is 505, electric bill is 160, so that’s a third of the rent. i’d die if my bill was more than my rent, but of course I only have 685 square feet I think, but i’m upstairs, facing the west and ac is old and on roof in hot sun.

  133. christina says:

    Okay Lisa lol that is fine…I’m just making fun of myself…I need some thing to take care of! I keep trying to convince my friend to let me get a puppy but he keeps saying no =( I think I may just have to sneak and get one anyways….or at least a cat! I’m in this big ass house by my self all the damn time…

  134. bob says:

    one pay check a month?

    i lease 2400 sq ft in a professional condo place for my business. rent is 1100$ a month. pretty darn good cuz it’s kind of in the boonies. i have 2 meter cans on the place as I have 2 different kinds of electricity service to power some special equipment. one meter covers ONLY the AC. Last months bill was 898$ and the power company just got the ok from the state to hike rates 20% next year. next summer AC will cost me more than my monthly rent for the place.

    i know it isnt a weeks ‘paycheck’, but how many people have higher AC costs than rent ?!?!

    top that!

  135. lisa says:

    I like the profiles where the sd says he is a nonsmoker and non drinker yet all his pics show him with a cigarette or a beer in his hand. of course he could be holding it for the person taking the picture, lol

    where his clothes the Abercrombie and fitch type or the kmart type?

  136. christina says:

    Um…well, from what you guys told me what was suppose to happen it went well. He didn’t mention anything about sex…he didn’t mention anything about money….he just wanted to know about me and told me a thing or two about himself…gave me a nice hug before he left. I felt okay about it. He wants me to call him tonight and made me promise and text me after he left “use me” which I still don’t know how to approach that one lol…I have some concerns though. On his profile it says non smoker but I smelled a hing of cigs and when I asked him he said on occasion would I hold it against him. He dressed really really casual like I mean even if you dress casual then you can tell the quality of clothing. So I don’t know…I’m not gonna judge him right now because just because you have money doesn’t mean you dress really nice all the time. It’s not really about the money…it’s about telling the truth…and I asked him something and he told me with a very very serious look on his face that he would never lie to me…so who knows….

  137. lisa says:

    Why christina?

    about squirels, I feed two on my porch that live in a hole in the side of the building by my bedroom.

  138. ChrystalCLEVELAND says:

    Hey Christina,

    how did youre date go today???

  139. christina says:

    Okay it’s official…I’m an lonely old woman! I’m feeding the squirls in my back yard……

  140. lisa says:

    Move to Texas where we donate one paycheck per month to the power company, lol

  141. bob says:

    christina should move to someplace where people arent cheapskates 3 months out of the year.

  142. lisa says:

    who’s there?

  143. NitemareSD says:

    She tapped it twice. Tap Tap.

  144. lisa says:

    someone drop a bag of frozen brussel sprouts on christina, she is getting over heated :)

  145. lisa says:

    “sorry not funny ” those are the exact words one of the girls in Sorrority house masacre said before she was murdered, lol

    You will come to understand Nitemare’s humor. It’s part of your initiation process to become a full fledge blog member.

  146. christina says:

    And no Bob, in Seattle we get three months out of the year when it is hot so no one spends the cash on A/C. Only in your cars and in business’.

  147. ChrystalCLEVELAND says:

    Hilarious @ the zoo and goat comments.

    Did she seriously touch the painting.

    That’s a big no no… Tisk Tisk.

  148. christina says:

    And stop cutting and pasting my convo’s! It’s dreadfully annoying! =p

  149. christina says:

    Uhh…I don’t get it…are you being crude?? Cause if you are…sorry not funny.

  150. NitemareSD says:

    christina Says:

    July 30th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
    I just had a bag of frozen spinach on my chest and a glass of ice in between my legs…


    Two SDs in one day is really pushing it in the current climate.

  151. bob says:

    christina – how could it possibly be that hot? do you live in a land of savages where no one has seen an air con before?

    /me goes back to light the fire place while the a/c keeps things at a nice comfortable 68 degrees 😀

  152. christina says:

    I don’t know about that but my power did cut in and out a couple of times today it was weird. I was doing the same thing today! Good thing it was too hot for anyone to play golf today….I’m sure the old guys down at the country club would have loved it though! haha!!

  153. lisa says:

    try ice cubes against your wrists, it will cool you a little

  154. lisa says:

    oh you poor thing, a bag of spinach? I hate spinach. lol Yes it is horrible and it’s like that all summer june-september in Texas. I hate it. My ac was broke for a couple weeks and I had to sit naked in front of the computer with the fan blowing. If someone peaked through the broken slat in my blinds, they’d think I was some internet pervert, lol

    I heard on tv there were power outages there today too

  155. NitemareSD says:

    Bob, this wasn’t the Natural History museum.

    But you’ve given me an idea; next time I can take her to the zoo. She can check the cages and I’ll get a tax write-off if I leave her there.

  156. lisa says:

    I’m still here. Hoping that vitamin B will start to give me more energy, lol

  157. christina says:

    And yes! WE are wimps!! We are not used to this crap! There is no A/C! I lived in Florida and did just find with the humidity and everything…this hot is different and there was A/C every where you went out here…I just had a bag of frozen spinach on my chest and a glass of ice in between my legs…then I went outside and sat with the hose running on me….lol! I’m getting irritable…how pitiful am I on the computer??? When it’s hot out?? sucks.. ug!

  158. lisa says:

    oh Seattle is 2 hours behind, I thought it was 1 hours, but now I see it’s over on the upper corner. I never look at the map that far up the west coast,lol I just know that i’m in that big state in the bottom middle

  159. NitemareSD says:

    Lisa’s done at 9. :(

  160. lisa says:

    hum… i’m drawing a blank here, getting sleepy

  161. bob says:


    pay her with $3 bills for sex with a goat then split?

    (*side note*) “you are posting comments too quickly – slow down”…. ? huh? my last comment was half an hour ago. y’all should see me when I’m REALLY goin at it!

  162. christina says:

    He said call him tonight! It’s only 6:45! He works all day..I’m thinking more like 8 or later…

    And no allowance side sounds good too..why not?? To each his own!

  163. NitemareSD says:

    Ok, here’s a question:

    What do you do with an “SB” who when you take her to the museum taps the painting with her finger to see if that’s glass or it really is that shiny?

  164. lisa says:

    Let’s see how many Percy heads I can get in a row

  165. NitemareSD says:

    Instead she’s readin some old blog and in WA so I guess she’s got a couple hours.

  166. lisa says:

    They’re talking on the news right now about the heat in Seatle You guys are wimps, lol you would never make it as a Texan, lol just kidding :)
    but it is being mentioned on our local news.

  167. tina says:

    Hi everyone, I’m really new to all this just signed up a few days ago. I’ve been reading the blogs and they have been very informative for me. I was wondering if anyone could please look at my profile and help me out. Like I said I’m really new to this and don’t really know how to go about things. I do know that I’m def not here to act as some prostitute, i just want to find a nice guy that actually wants a genuine sd/sb relationship not one night stands. any input is greatly appreciated thank you

    Profile Number 356591

  168. lisa says:

    now walk over and pick up the phone and dial

  169. lisa says:

    Yes Christina, it’s time to make that call.

  170. NitemareSD says:

    Christina – shouldn’t you have made that call by now?

    As for me, I am considering a conversion to the no-allowance-SD side. I mean I’ve got it all. Looks; brains; nice home in the country; apt in the city; I’m younger than many; I’m not as fat as many; a girl should just be thankful I let her in on all this.

    And as a side benefit – no allowance means you never have to discuss money.

  171. christina says:

    Hmm..I don’t know Bob, maybe you are looking in all the wrong places??

  172. christina says:

    Although I am quit ready to go shopping or have my cell phone bill paid (which is due today) I’m freakin out…I am not ready to do anything else…I wonder if that is possible..for spoiling is key…it’s what makes her happy 😉

  173. bob says:

    man… how come *i* can never find a woman down for goat sex ?!?! :no:

  174. christina says:

    Oh yes Bob! It’s been a dream of mine! Thanks! lol!!!

  175. bob says:


    i’m virtually certain that ‘use me’ implies just what it implies.

    tell him you want him to take you shopping or out to a nice dinner, or on a vacation if you are to that point.

    give him something to do to spoil you.

    as to the call me bit, thats just the standard code phrase for a gang bang with all his buddies and a goat. I’m sure you are up for that though, right?

  176. christina says:

    Hey! where is everyone?! I’m bored out of my mind and hot!!!! I think I’m going to go crazy! Someone pick a new topic

  177. NitemareSD says:

    An “Elite Companion” of the greatest sophistication who commands 10-20K casually mentions at the end of her appropriate length profile:

    “The road to finding ‘the one’ is paved with a bit of promiscuity”

  178. christina says:

    Lol! @ nitemare.

    You guys are hilarious…..I don’t really care about what happened durignthe day. It’s really not that serious. I mean he gave me a very warm hug before he left I felt really comfortable. I was slightly curious on if I should call him or make sure he keeps calling me. I am used to regular relationships where you can’t make yourself too available or they will lose interesst cause there is no chase. I was just thinking that after a meeting and a pot sd wanting you to call him might mean something in the sugarland world….remember I am still learning and it just seems like there is a whole different way of doing things here. another thing is the use me part llol…he asked me what my thoughts were and after I told him i would like to get to know him more he just text “use me” and that’s it. This makes me wonder if there is some underline meaning in sugar land also. lol! Again it’s really not taht serious I was just asking. =)

  179. Giulietta says:

    Christina – “Use me”? Maybe he’s looking for a domme? No idea. I’ll just give him a call and see how the call goes.

    Ryan – sorry the pot. didn’t work out. When a pot gives me weird signals like, I’d run. He sounds like a flake and a fake. Move on with your head held high, dear.

  180. NitemareSD says:

    Hmmmm… Call me later. What could that mean?

    Sounds a lot like he wants to be called later, most likely by you.

    Maybe he wants to see how serious you are about pursuing the arrangement, how responsible you are to execute an expection.

    Maybe he wants to build a connection with you and then fuck your brains out.

    They let you post fuck here as long as you do it in mod-era-tion.

  181. lisa says:

    I’m not sure, the who situation sounds confusing to me. If he just wants to talk, that’s ok or meet for dinner but the meeting just sounds a little strange.

  182. bob says:

    why cant she meet him late or at a hotel?

    i’d say it’s quite obvious what he means.

    he’d like her to ask for something.

  183. lisa says:

    Gee I don’t know about that, never had that experience, could be anything. I guess you should give him a call tonight. BUT don’t let him persuade you into meeting him late or at a hotel or anything. I see know harm in chatting with him though.

    Any thoughts from the sds on what this might mean?

  184. christina says:

    Well! First! He was late. I decided to go at least a half an hour early cause that is just how I like to do anything. Then he tells me can we meet for one. Well, right away I get annoyed and it doesn’t help that it’s flippin hot!! So I feel all frazzled and took a second to answer him back cause I know already that he has a demanding business and I need to learn to be understanding now. So I tell him that I am already there but I’ll try to find something to do. He said omg I am sooooo sorry…please forgive me. So I say I know you are working, you’ll just have to make it up to me. Then we meet and it’s cool, I’m still a little nervous but he seems very down to earth and interested in me. At the end he looks at me and goes, what do you think? And I’m like what? He says about us, moving on. I yes, that I would love to get to know him more. He says okay he has to go and says, can you call me tonight? I said sure. He says you promise?? I said yes. then he texts me after he leaves and said “thoughts?” I said I like you you seem down to earth and I wouldnt mind getting to know you more. Then I said now your turn. He texts me …”use me”. haha!! I’m mlike huh??? then nothing then he just IMed me just now and asked if I enjoyed our meeting and I said yes, did you? Andn he said very much so.. I gotta go I will call you tonight. There! I don’t know if that’s what you wanted but there it is haha! Sorry…any thoughts?? Why does he want me to call him? Why did he say use me??

  185. lisa says:

    How did the meeting go?

  186. bob says:

    christina… umm…. pics? 😛

  187. christina says:

    Okay I’m back! Stripped naked with a glass of ice between my legs! TMI?? Maybe but it is what it is.

  188. NYC SB says:


    while i agree with bob on his point … this is nsa… so what he does in his spare time is his thing and what you do with yours is yours. However, going forward do not do anything you might regret the morning after. if you seek an allowance maybe some part of it should be given to you prior to the deed… i definitely feel for you… if you want to talk further let me know my email is above.

  189. bob says:


    this comment is only based upon what you have just wrote, but is it possible that you were too agressive about things INCLUDING the allowance and scared the guy off?

    you arent supposed to be wondering what your new sugar daddy is doing for 2 hrs when he is out for dinner. I assume he didnt demand an hour by hour accounting of how you spent your time. and if all you did while you were together is ask about your allowance does it really shock you that he responded the way he did?

    anyone is least likely to be agreeable to something when they are pestered for it.

  190. Raven says:

    Hi, figured I would try this site out as well. I wished I had read this blog the other day. I just met this pot SD yesterday for lunch and we got to talk, we had common ground, shared something in common and I was looking forward to that. I thought the date went well. He was only in town for a week and wanted to meet. From the first time we spoke on the phone he said he wanted to have ‘fun’ with me and every time we talked on the phone or in txt messaging and even face to face he said it. This should have been my biggest clue that all he wanted was ‘…’. And the fact that the first night he flew into town he wanted to meet me at 1 am.

    So after the date, he had some business to attend to. Then about 5 hours later he calls me and says he is done with his meeting and that he has to go to this dinner thing…I totally should have invited myself to come with him.

    But two hours after he called me he sent me a text saying that he wanted to eat his food quickly so we could meet up again? What was he doing for the past 2 hours? He didn’t answer me and then about 930 pm he text me to say he was too tired. So I texted him back to tell him that I was already ready. About an hour and half later he text me again and says he cant sleep…that he wants to be held and no sex has to be involved. The whole time I was talking to him I told him that I wanted an allowance and he would never agree to anything saying he didnt know what he wanted…

    So even when I went to his room (he had some money waiting for me on the table…couldn’t even hand it to me…and he calls himself a ‘gentleman’) and discussed it he was like ‘I don’t know, I just want to be held’ and was basically trying to have ‘…’ with me. But during the night he said yes he would do the allowance thing. So before I left – I asked him again and he said he’d think about it! About 3 hours after I left he text me again to say that he didnt want to do the allowance and has yet to reply back to me or answer my call (only called him once).

    Definately Abused & Used…

  191. lisa says:

    Hi everyone Back from my outings in the hot Texas heat.

  192. DorkyGuy says:

    TXSugarBabe, great post!

  193. NYC SB says:

    TXSugarbabe – can you email me please i would like to get your oppinion on something you spoke about. d_fantassy_girl at yahoo

  194. TXSugarBabe says:

    Too true, Goodgirl! Too true! LOL:)

  195. Goodgirl says:

    Understood TxSugarBabe :) if I ever find my guy, I will anticipate some difficulty (my best friend married her SD, and life is still not so easy for her) I’ll keep posting my ‘resume’ however because difficult or not, it is the relationship I am looking for. Being with a single guy who has nothing was never easy either. lol!

  196. TXSugarBabe says:

    Goodgirl…having an SD/SB arrangement with a married man can be difficult sometimes if you really care for him.

    I probably should correct myself for making it sound so dreamy…I mean yes private jets and fine hotels are wonderful but there is often a downside to it when real feelings are involved.

    Because he confides in you, you know a lot about his home and family life and sometimes wish that you could be there to help out, to take care of the things wifey isn’t doing (not just in the bedroom)…and yet the hard reality is that you can’t be that person in his life. You have a specific role to play, a role you were hired to do, and those are your boundaries.

    While I always managed to live within our agreed boundaries, I’m just sayin’…it wasn’t easy!!!

  197. Goodgirl says:

    TxSugarBabe. Well said, and welcome to this side of the blog :)
    Your experience sounds like it was a dream 😀 Thats what i’m looking for…with or without the wifey. 😉

  198. TXSugarBabe says:

    OK, had to come out of lurker mode and share my own experiences on this one:

    I don’t know why everyone’s freaking out over a 10K/mo allowance. It’s really not so uncommon in the higher-echelon SD/SB arrangements. After all, if a man is in a position to be compromised, choosing the right lady who provides him the discretion he needs is of primary importance. And those kinds of well-bred, highly educated, beautiful, classy ladies don’t come cheap!

    A man who is seeking a top-notch SB is willling and able to pay her well – and providing her a nice condo is a matter of course. For the married man, the old fashioned term is “keeping a mistress.” I’m sure you’ve heard tell of it.;)

    I myself was a kept woman (or mistress, or SB if you prefer) for such a man in NY. He was married with several children, very wealthy and very vulnerable to compromise. He was looking to have an affair with the right kind of woman, not just a paid sexual interlude. A relationship, LOVE (anyone remember that word?). And we found each other.

    For the curious, my compensation was roughly 10K/mo. Transactionally, I was hired as a consultant for a company he owns, so I literally got a paycheck every two weeks (with taxes deducated, a W-2 form at the end of the years, etc..) healthcare benefits, condo, car, travel, etc…just like any other job of that sort with all the usual “perks.”

    I did not meet him on this site. The relationship lasted for 3 years until his wife found out and we had to part ways. We are still friends and discreetly keep in touch.

    Of course I’ve since moved on to other SD’s, some of whom I met on this site. While the majority of male ahem, “members” here are apparently here by mistake thinking it is an escort service, there ARE some real gems to be found. It just takes patience and time…ladies, you probably shouldn’t be here if you’re just looking for some fast cash. That’s not the way SB/SD dating is supposed to work. Just like other relationships, they take time to build and grow.

    And yeah, sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince, but isn’t that true in regular dating also? (This does *not*, however, mean that you have to have sex with a lot of frogs.)

    As far as gifts go, every situation I’ve had involved some gift of value presented by the gentleman early on – usually on our 2nd or 3rd date. It was his way of saying that he wanted to continue seeing me on a regular basis and take the relationship further. But in no way, shape or form did either of us assume or imply that the money was compensation for sex!

    Good heavens no!

    Thats’ still illegal in most parts of the United States, you know.

    The way I look at it, from a purely legal standpoint is this: when a man offers you money, gifts or anything of value in exchange for sex (whether he expects you to “audition” for the gift first, or if it is implicitly or explicitly understood that sex will happen after reciept of the gift) – you are both engaging in a transaction that is technically illegal.

    So the only truly LEGAL way to go about SD/SB dating is for both parties to completely avoid talking about any exchange of sex for money. Period.

    Of course it only stands to reason that if a man and a woman are dating each other for a while, they’re going to wind up in bed together. And men do take care of their women financially…paying their rent or providing them a home, giving gifts, taking them on trips, etc…all that is perfectly legal.

    Too many people seem to mistakenly think that SBs are escorts, and that honestly troubles me. I hate to see that happening to the sugar community. I think it paints with too broad a brush. Not all situations are just crude money for sex transactions – please don’t take a beautiful thing (the love that can happen between a successful older man and a much younger woman) and lower it to that standard! The two are worlds apart.

  199. NYC SB says:

    good luck miss christina!

  200. NYC SB says:

    thanks vixen! you are a sweetheart… unfortunately that sugar train is long gone :(

    nitemare i meant that would i feel used if he never calls me again… as far as the quality well there are no such guarantees no?

  201. NitemareSD says:

    NYC SB Says:

    July 30th, 2009 at 10:53 am

    “If i sleep with him tonight and never see him again will i regret this experience” if my answer is yes then i do not sleep with him if the answer is no then i succumb to passion


    How do you know until you sleep with him? Don’t you have to test drive him?

  202. christina says:

    Its on my back and I was thinking about wearing a backless dress…oh well…maybe he wont look at my back lol…

    And no my greatest tragedy wouldn’t be that it would be…you know what?? Nevermind…I have a few choice words but I’ll be nice 😉 ciao ciao and wish me luck! hehe

  203. vixen says:

    NYC- I’ve always believed you. what do you haave to gain by lying about it? Keep on getting that sweet sugar girl!

  204. Goodgirl says:

    hmmm….heat rash….put ice on it??? 😉 seems like it would work…

  205. NYC SB says:

    Ohhhh i get it now…

    Again, my experience is mine and i dont need anyone to believe it… at the end of the day my bills were paid for and i was well taken care of right?

    Many people on the blog have different experiences and different takes on what constitutes an arrangement… they were offering their advice. At the end of the day you need to figure out what is it that you are comfortable with and whether or not you like this man…

  206. lisa says:

    Good morning Nitemare :) I’m on my way out to run errands and enjoy my day off. Have a great day

  207. vixen says:

    if the rash is a place that can be covered up..use dusting powder
    the key is to keep it dry and absolutely no creams on it

  208. NitemareSD says:

    christina Says:

    July 30th, 2009 at 10:48 am
    now I feel like I may not even be worth what he says he allowed his last girlfriend. (ed. 10K/mo) I’m freakin out!


    This would be your tragedy?

  209. lisa says:

    Hey i’m going to Starbucks too, maybe i’ll see you there, lol

  210. lisa says:

    I haven’t had heat rash in years, but I found it to be caused by detergents in your clothes. Wear something casual but cute to starbucks, a smart skirt and blouse or a nice summer dress. I deal with the hot weather everyday and I have to walk in it (no car) and I wear skirts, short sleeve tops, and even hosiery even though no woman in Houston seems to wear hosiery.

    Good luck on your meeting and relax but just be vigilant.

    I’m headed out now to the bank and the store. Have a great day everyone

  211. christina says:

    Quick! It’s hot outside what do you wear?! To starbucks?!! How do you take care of a heat rash?!

  212. vixen says:

    To every SB out there, if every little thing we say on here frightens you and keeps you from meeting a POT, then maybe this type of arrangement isn’t for you. We offer our own experiences and have the best of intentions in trying to keep you guys from making the same mistakes. Plenty of women out here who could easily steal what was meant to be yours so put on your big girl shoes, go out, and have fun.

    Christina get your outfit together. Take care of those nails, hair and rash. Walk out into that blistering heat and stun whomever could be your next SD :)

  213. lisa says:

    Christina go on the date and don’t worry. Just take everyone’s advice about being careful, just like anytime you meet a stranger. Don’t be led on by big promises though. I just walked to the dumpster to take my trash and i’m already all sweaty, it’s horrible here and it’s on 10 am.

  214. christina says:

    Lol! Sorry to confuse you it wasn’t to insult you. If you followed what has been tlaked about all night and day you would understand what I was saying. lol..

  215. christina says:

    I understand and quite honestly I am not looking for all that I really just wanted a really good friend that I can turn to from time to time and this seemed easier because everythign was laid out first hand. I was basically just saying that some people on here just attributed to my nervousness….now it’s like I’m meeting up with some crazy guy that just likes to meet random girls and throw numbers at them for fun.

  216. NYC SB says:

    Oh my gosh! NYC SB, don’t say that they may think you are lying or a hooker! Ugg..I can’t take it…I thought this would help…

    NYC SB is confused????

  217. NYC SB says:

    Christina – again his last gf was receiving allowance of 10k that doesnt mean that on day one he handed her that much money. Maybe he started her of with 3k and as the relationship progressed he wanted to take care of her more. You CANNOT compare yourself with her. Take your time and get to know the man… let him take the lead. he may not even bring up the allowance discussion on the date. This is normal… he is just meeting you and getting to know you. Use common sense if you thing this man is fake then move on but do give him the benefit of doubt and enjoy the date.

    As far as sleeping on the first date. I dont do it… its just my personal preference. If i decide to see the man again and the chemistry is there i ask myself the following question: “If i sleep with him tonight and never see him again will i regret this experience” if my answer is yes then i do not sleep with him if the answer is no then i succumb to passion… again its different for everyone

  218. christina says:

    Oh my gosh! NYC SB, don’t say that they may think you are lying or a hooker! Ugg..I can’t take it…I thought this would help…

  219. christina says:

    Well, that is how I felt before. I felt comfortable meeting so soon why not yanno? Just like WHENEVER I meet a guy from the bar or from a friend or from online, I am always cautious and just take it one step at a time. But hearing all this crap is very discouraging….we talked on the phone and emailed and we had really good vibes going on now all I can picture is some freak that just wants to take advantage of me. Lying to me, now I feel like I may not even be worth what he says he allowed his last girlfriend. I’m freakin out!

  220. NYC SB says:

    D- Dubs – this lasted about 4 months… this man was single and never married before and told me that if we continue this he would want me to be his gf heading towards marriage. this was not for me at this point in my life and while i liked this man i never saw him as “the one” for me. I told him that it would be unfair if i kept on seeing him and leading him on and suggested he joins eharmony. Which he did and for a month after that he told me that he would like to see me couple of times a month for just dinner and conversation at half my allowance. We did this for a month or so but since then he has met a woman off eharmony and he is pursuing a relationship with her.

    I met him at a lounge in NYC and not on SA however when he met me he was a member on this site.

  221. D-Dubs says:

    I agree…
    just go and have fun.

  222. NYC SB says:

    Christina – dont back out… dont be nervous… treat it as a date with a man you met online… have a good time … sorry if we made you more worried

  223. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone just got up. Wow I cannot even begin to catch up without exhausting myself and having to go back to bed, lol
    Was awaken about 1 am last night by fire trucks as the apartments across the street were on fire, 3 fire firetrucks, 2 ambulances, etc. I finally got back to sleep around 3, I should have checked the blog, lol

    Off to the shower for me

  224. christina says:

    Omg! I am so nervous I feel like backing out! less than four hours I’m suppose to meet this guy…..I am so tired and I have a wicked heat rash on my back from all the damn hot ass weather! Why do I feel like backing out?? Is this a sign?? I was so comfortable with the idea yesterday now I just wanna call it all off! It’s just coffee…geezz…ugg…Help! haha.

  225. NitemareSD says:

    Belle – why don’t you find out about him instead of worrying about it…

  226. NitemareSD says:

    These big money guys seem to be pretty short term per the reports people have made here. I know a FL woman who told me about hers – ‘he gave me this, he gave me that’ We saw each other 4 times and then he moved to Australia.

    Is an SB who causes her SD to move to Australia after four meetings one to be wary of getting involved with?

  227. D-Dubs says:

    NYC SB –

    thanks for responding about the allowance you received.
    just curious how long ago this was…did you meet this man from the site…and how long your arrangement lasted…and why it ended…?

    if those questions are too personal, then I understand.

    if you enjoyed his company…that’s a virtual jackpot you had right there.

  228. D-Dubs says:

    I think Vixen was spot-on when she wrote…
    “adult folks should be adult enough to make adult decisions”

    I agree…why have rules?
    Let the evening go where it takes you.

    More than a few times, I guess I have been that guy in the suit across the table…and, sex has happened on the first date. In fact, one time it happened within 90 minutes of my potential SB showing up at my hotel after we had a few drinks. It all depends on the chemistry and desires of each.

    I promise you that not once was anything ever arranged before. I don’t play that. Nothing expected. Nothing demanded. IT JUST HAPPENED.

    Did it always work out?
    Nope. The 90 minute girl left the next afternoon and I’ve not seen her since. There haas also been a couple who did expect “something waiting on the nightstand” Which remdinds me of the line from that old movie “Arthur”…where a drunk Dudley Moore says…”You’re a hooker!?! I just thought I was doing GREAT with you!”

    But, also arrangements have started for me in this manner…after hitting it off that first meeting…whether it was one night, or an entire weekend.

    I’m talking to a potential SB right now from my hometown. I’m in Florida for the next 10 days on business. She wants to come down and visit, and spend some time on the beach. We’ve not met in person, but, have been in touch for months if not a year already. She’s not working now, but, has made it clear that she wants cash if she comes to visit (she won’t give me a figure), with this of course coming along with travel expenses and the usual spoiling I’d provide. I ALWAYS put my best foot forward and take good care of someone when they meet me. Still, its the cash part that has be reluctant at the moment. She’s implied I’ll get what I want if she gets what she wants. Still, I’d prefer if she’d just come down and hang out so we can get to know each other. It would be nice to have some company. That’s what I really want. Sex is not important right away to me…although its alwaays nice to have. An arrangement can be set-up later if we both decide we want to continue.
    Sometimes its hard to have everything line-up the way you’d like it, even when you find someone you think you’d like.

  229. NYC SB says:

    WOW i missed a great debate… let me chime in with my 2 cents… My SD was paying me 20k a month to see him about 4-5 times a month… he was generous and caring and i appreciated his help… so such men do exist. He paid me in cash… $100 bills … tricky situation but i will do it all over again in a second 😉

    Christina – allow this man to bring up the allowance part if he feels chemistry there is nothing more unattractive than a SB talking about allowance on the first meet without even confirming that the pot SD wants to pursue an arrangement.

    Last – I will not partake in sexual acts without an allowance in place… i need to make sure that this man is willing to take care of me and will stick around… but more importantly I want to make sure that we get a long so its not just sex but more of an intimate encounter…

  230. NC Gent says:

    Wow — go to sleep for a few hours and you miss a lot. Just for clarification, I was the one who said no free test drives and Lisa re-stated it. Just saying that to emphasize it came from an SD. I figured Christina was a grown, smart woman and could connect the dots leading to caution. She seemed to be doing just fine so I didn’t go into any pedantic discussion on caution and to-good-to- be-true. True to my personality, I will be brutally honest and say come on fellow SDs, give these SBs credit for having some common sense.

  231. SincereSD says:

    typo above … should be

    How do you KNOW if you and your SD are in agreement with the expectations if the both of you don’t discuss them or come to some form of understanding?

  232. SincereSD says:

    Good morning all. Adding my 2 cents here …

    Christina, JohnQ is the voice of reason and has provided a lot of good input on this blog. Like all advice though, it’s your choice whether you take his input or not. I would be suspicious though of anyone who has that type of discretionary cash flow a month. I try and provide more color on this if I have time later.

    Goodgirl, bout your comment “~~My advise: don’t expect ANY amount of money (you heard me)…you’ll be suprised what happens when you are genuinely grateful and giving…”

    While that may work for you, I think it’s important to set the ground rules of a SD arrangement, especially if one is looking for a longer term relationship. How do you look if you and your SD are in agreement with the expectations if the both of you don’t discuss them or come to some form of understanding? While there are exact details are dependent on the people involved. Sorry to be so mechanical about this but I think the basic principles are: allowance, dates, discretion, etc. (and these can be further defined)

    Believe me, I learnt the hard way and ended up with an ungrateful SB who just wanted to take and never had time for me. Where was the gap and what was the expectation? I know what I expected and mentioned it to her but we never came to an agreement because it was too “complicated”. Anyways, she broke it off because i wasn’t putting out enough (even though I had contributed twice what her profile asked for).

  233. Happy Lurker says:

    I prefer to stay at a high end hotel when I come to visit an SB in her town.
    All this talk about Subway or Starbucks or MC is not needed. I always choose a hotel that appeals to my hedonistic aspirations and then mail the website to the SB and ask for her opinion. Problem solved.
    She feels at easy, she picked the place. Now we start the chemistry in a relaxed atmosphere. And we will have a perfect lunch there.
    It is better to give than to receive, so I like to choose a present and bring it. Love to see that happy face of hers.
    Moreover judging from the shopping trips, also as to taste and elegance, there is a lot to be steered into the right direction.
    As to the 10 K allowance, show me that Aston Martin, please, for a better test ride.

  234. Belle says:

    Nightmare- he was quite quick to reply actually …which concerns me a little …hmmm consumer beware perhaps????
    Ok so he opens the email with a cheery dispostion, has a link to his pictures that he suggests i should check out , and asks a series of questions – some of which I think he should have gotten answers from my profile for. he asks if I would be ok in a company apt , tells me of his child and asks if I would have a problem with him spending a great deal of time with them, has also offered me his contact details that he casually adds to which I should text…. he tells me he is looking for a real connection….asks what I am lookin for.

    I am not sure how to take this one, as his profile states only being new to this site..he seems very straight to the point and .little bit lost can you help ?? should i be red flagging about this pot sd?

    Belle xx

  235. NitemareSD says:

    What does it say?

  236. Belle says:

    Hi fellow SB :)

    How was everyones day ? relaxing I hope? :) Good news I have recieved my third email …lol hope you were right nightmare :)

    Wish me luck
    Belle xx

  237. Chelsea says:

    Bob, I both agree and disagree with you there. I’m very grateful for the gift I’ve already received, and I’m looking forward to meeting him and spending time together, but for me, my comfort and safety are my number one priorities. Say I make it over there and there is zero chemistry and/or he shows this other side that is disrespectful makes me feel uncomfortable, I don’t think it’s my responsibility to make sure he has a good time. Now I know that’s probably not going to be the case, and I’m sure he’s a fine gent, but I’m just unsure of what is expected of me in this trip. Even now, I’m asking if I’d be ready to take it to a physical level the first weekend, but I don’t know if I can answer the question. There’s so much that I’ll have to feel out when I’m there (that said, I’m open to beginning the sexual side of the relationship early on, but every situation’s different). We haven’t discussed allowances or expectations yet, and it seems like this first meeting is going to be just that – a first meeting. I guess I’ll just have to board that plane with an open mind and a fun spirit and see where the weekend takes me…

  238. bob says:

    pot = potential

  239. christina says:

    First of all lol wow Bob..

    Second of all what does pot SD mean??

  240. bob says:


    my somewhat biased suggested would be to see to it that your SD has as good a time as you can possibly give him. after all he has already looked after you. turn about is fair play, no? :)

  241. Chelsea says:

    I’m not really sure if this is the right place, but it seems like you guys are pretty good at giving advice. I’ve been on this site for a while, and have met a few pot SDs, with no real connection. I’ve been talking on the phone with one for a few weeks (he lives out of town) and he’s already sent me a generous amount of money to help out with a few things. We’ve made arrangements for me to come visit him (I’m much more flexible to move around) and the flight’s been purchased already. At this point, I can tell he’s legit, and he seems pretty respectable to me (allowing me to choose a hotel in town that I want to stay at), but I gotta say I’m pretty nervous about this. I’m going to make sure I have the hotel reservation confirmation before I go, and I’ve contacted some friends who live in the area and told them the deal, so I have a place to go/people to talk to if anything goes wrong… any other advice on this kind of situation?

  242. vixen says:

    GG- Girl I miss our late night parties..they need to be reinstated!

  243. vixen says:

    OMG I finally just finished reading Kite Runner!!! I’ve been trying to finish this book for the past three months but something always seems to come up.

    Yay me!!!!
    Yes I thought you should all share in my triumph :)

  244. bob says:


    you misunderstood me.

    when a guy puts in his profile he has a budget of 10k$ that is simply what his finances would allow (in theory if he is being honest). just because someone can AFFORD a certain level of discretionary spending doesnt mean they will be inclined to part with it as part of an arrangement with any particular sb. but when he comes out and tells you he actually provided that to his last girl, in the context of talking to his prospective new girl – there is alot more implied there. At least thats how i read it, and how i would guess others are reading it as well.

    and i dont think you need to be leery of anyone automatically. my advice is to just have a good time being a SB then its simply not possible to get ‘burned’ even if you dont get that sweet allowance. keep it fun and when you find something that works for you, its all worth it.

  245. christina says:

    So, basically what should be said is even the amounts that are stated on SA should be seen as alarm bells. Which brings me back to the point that you should be leary of any guy…whether its 10 g’s he’s offering or a dollar.

  246. Goodgirl says:

    Oh, sorry! (how rude of me!) Hi to Midgetfury and SFSD also!! :) …and to all my lurking companions 8)

  247. bob says:


    I think what is being said is that there is at least the appearance that he is implying he gave his last SB that sum, so he may be agreeable to giving you the same as well. Otherwise why mention any past figures? After all it would be somewhat less than classy to drop a 10k figure with regards to his last arrangement then offer you much less.

    Without the benefit of being privy to all your conversations with the guy thus far it at least looks like an implied offer. And since 10k a month isnt a trivial sum of money for many, and you havent even met the guy yet it just sounds alarm bells for some.

    I cant say I would argue with these people, but like i (and others have) said, a good dose of common sense should keep you ok, even if he turns out to be too good to be true.

  248. Goodgirl says:

    *coming out of lurk mode for a moment with my $.02
    Bob says “I mean when you put it that way the only difference i see is an hourly rental vs a monthly lease.”
    I completely agree also. In fact, I couldn’t have said it better myself. Maybe thats not where anything was meant to go, but when those of us who are a little more experienced in sugarland start handing out advise to the new sugars, we should remember that they may not have read through all the past blogs. Sometimes we (i’m also guilty) get caught up so much on the one side of the suger bowl, that we forget about the other side. True sweetness around here comes from both sides.

    ~~My advise: don’t expect ANY amount of money (you heard me)…you’ll be suprised what happens when you are genuinely grateful and giving… 😉

    D-Dubs says “I don’t think this is a site to arrange for sex for money.
    In my opinion, an arrangement is so much more than that.”
    ~Absolutly right. It ismore than that. At least the real (true)LT arrangements are. Don’t get jaded D-Dubs 😀
    Christina~babe :) you did start something, and THANK YOU!!! We needed a good convo around here! I’ve been lurking too long!!! And, have a great time on your date. I’ll keep my fingers crossed over here for you. We will all be waiting to see how it goes. Be prepared for anything 😀
    Vixen~ Hey! 😉 Long time no see!!
    *returning to my sleepless hybernation in surgarless lurkville…lol!

  249. carlamarie says:

    It seems that my response to NC Gent is still awaiting moderation, so I will try again. I apologise for any duplicate posts. I have been reading further, and am taking in all the advice you are giving.

    My profile number is 355841.

    Thanks Guys!

  250. christina says:

    Thanks Vixen!….that is all I like to hear…positivity =)

  251. christina says:

    It wasn’t just based on our convos! It was just something he told me he gave his last girlfriend. That is all. But I don’t understand why it has to do with if we talked on the phone or not. People on SA have exactly what they allow and exactly to the amount of what they want. So where is the suspicion???? You just have to take caution with any guy you meet. Period.

  252. vixen says:

    Christina i hope you have fun on your date. Don’t get worried about whether you started anything. Its fun to hear differing SD opinions so thanks for livening up the blog! Use your head, it’ll get you further than any opinion on here will :)

  253. bob says:


    since it doesn’t come through well in blog postings, i’m sheepishly responding to your question with somewhat of a flush.

    bbj, or more precisely bbbj is Bare Back Blow you know what.

    fs is Full Service, aka sex.

    before I found SA i found my first SB on craigslist. She had a posting in the ‘escorts’ section, and while I was not looking for an escort, a late night cruise of the internet found a nice young gal who posted looking for a nice guy with the means to show her a good time and have some fun in the process. A stark contrast to most of the other craigslist postings I’ll tell you!

    we emailed back and forth for a few weeks, decided to meet. Spent the day at disney (a few hours away from each other’s house) and decided to make a weekend of it. During that time we never specifically discussed an arrangement but she did say that she previously had met a few fellows with similar craigslist postings and thus far all of them wanted a quick “get it and go” – not what she was looking for. And thats how things started for us. We never actually discussed an arrangement specifically. There came a point where I asked her a bit about her monthly expenses and when it came time to give her something that wasn’t a gift or a trip I came up with a figure on my own based upon what she had told me. Not because I had to put that $4300 down payment on touching the kitty, but because I wanted to look after her needs. That seemed to work for the both of us quite well.

  254. christina says:

    I get that, I am cautious in any case of meeting a man. Even If I know him. I just don’t understand the direct negativity from JQ. I mean everyone else gave good advice and I get it. But what’s with the negativity?? Duhh I’m going to be safe…why say I’m being played?? What’s the point??? Basically be safe. Period

  255. vixen says:

    wow..you would think that most women are grown enough to decide on their own whether or not to have sex on a first date. The way I see it, adult folks should be adult enough to make adult decisions..why stick to steadfast rules??

    If the man sitting across from you at dinner looks so damn good in his suit that you want to f*ck him right there in front of patrons, then by all means proceed. No one here can fault you for what you decide to do. Just be prepared to deal with whatever may come next. In other words don’t come crying, talking about how bruised your ego is because you thought you had such great chemistry, had sex with him and now you’re left wondering why he didn’t leave any money on the night stand. If you really liked him that much on the first date, why does not getting money make you feel so used? Face it, you played yourself.

    Me personally, I prefer to not have sex the first time. But hey, that’s just the way I do things.

    10K SD, sure they’re out there. I personally have never been with one and would be very suspicious of anyone who offered me such just based on our great phone convos.

  256. Midgetfury74 says:

    Christina…It’s not you sweetie, people always have diverging opinions, neither right nor wrong just individualized. For better or worse, you get to hear various opinions and how to approach all scenarios. I think what most will advise is to be cautious in your decisions and give considerable thought about what you are willing to put into your arrangement.

  257. christina says:

    Wow!!! Did I start some thing. Well just to let you guys know that even if he was throwing out numbers to get my attention it’s only coffee. I’m not expecting anything. If he turns out to be a fake which I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough then fine. Move on…..I don’t understand the discussion here??

  258. Midgetfury74 says:

    bob…. what does “$300 per hour for BBJ and FS” mean?

  259. Midgetfury74 says:

    Just to answer the question of does the $10k SD exist, yes they do and i know this from personal experience. My last SD would spend a majority of that on shopping and other fun activities and the rest in an allowance. However, this was after months of corresponding and then finally meeting in person. So whether you meet early on or take your time I believe it comes down to what sort of relationship and comfort you establish with each other to want to spend time together and to truly have your SD enjoy that time and want to (not need to or demanded to) spoil you.

  260. bob says:

    SF SD,

    ironically enough I fail to see where you fail to see my logic 😉

    What exactly is your issue with what I said?

    I’m not saying a mutually beneficial arrangement has to have love involved, or cute cuddly kitten feelings. But I fail to see the substantial difference between a prospective SB saying “i need $4300 by the 30th of every month before you get to pet the kitty” and a posting on craigslist that reads “$300 per hour for BBJ and FS”. the only difference is the price and length of ‘service’.

    I’m saying that for me at least an arrangement should be built primarily upon a mutual enjoyment for the other persons company AND with fringe benefits to satisfy each parties’ needs. There doesn’t have to be any strings attached but a mechanical transaction based only on that sugar check being cashed at the end of the month isn’t going to be a very fulfilling one imho.

    If you think perhaps I’m coming off as too objectionable to spoiling, I’m not. That said there are ways to spoil a woman other than an allowance. I’m simply of the opinion that beyond maybe general budget matters, the allowance shouldn’t be an issue till both sides are comfortable and sure they are going to make a thing of it.

  261. D-Dubs says:

    you are correct SF SD, I haven’t been around in months.

    do you know of someone who’s received $10k per month?
    I’m more curious than anything. I’m not here to question anyone.

    from my past experiences, the potential SB’s I’ve spoken to have said that the guys who throw those kind of numbers around end up being fakes.

    maybe that’s not always the case. I am curious to find out.

    and, I still agree with Bob.
    I don’t think this is a site to arrange for sex for money.
    In my opinion, an arrangement is so much more than that.

  262. D-Dubs says:

    the other point I make on here every now and then is…
    well, from what I hear the women outnumber the men here to a great degree…i.e….there are plenty of fish in this sea.
    so…the SB’s have to expect the SD’s to look around for the best deal…and, this has nothing to do with being “cheap”

    without meeting someone in person, and based on a few photos and some friendly emails or chat…

    who do you think the SD would want to meet first?

    a) someone who demands money just to meet for dinner?
    b) someone who demands an allowance of ~10k per month?
    c) someone who tells you sex is completely out of the question until you pay some big dollars?
    d) none of the above

    of course a potential SD would prefer to meet someone who seems as excited as he is to meet…someone who wants to get to know him before she starts demanding money…and, someone who seems fun, spontaneous, smart, and witty.
    bring something to the table ladies…
    you have competition on this site.

    my answer is D.

  263. SF SD says:

    “excuse me, but if you need an allowance before he gets an umm…. ‘test drive’ isnt that just escorting by another name?”

    Once again your logic escapes me. Are you sure you’re not on the wrong site, bob?

    “I’m also curious to know if ANYONE has ever received an allowance of 10k per month or more…and, if so…how were you paid?”

    D-Dubs, you haven’t been paying attention.

  264. D-Dubs says:

    Bob –
    based on what you wrote…yeah…your mistakes > my mistakes.

    I have no regrets, though.
    I’ve had some amazing times and have met some amazing people through this website. Only once did someone not at all appear like her photos.

    I’ve just also had some amazing drama that would make an interesting book sometime down the road.

  265. bob says:


    I agree. you sum it up better than my attempt at saying the same thing.

    it shouldn’t be forced.

    both sides put their best foot forward and take it from there.

  266. D-Dubs says:

    I was thinking briefcase when I wrote suitcase…
    still, point taken.
    maybe you don’t even need a briefcase.

    but, lots of SB’s have told me about guys who’ve offerred cars, condos, big cash allowances…only to meet them…and, see they just wanted attention and/or quick sex before anything changes hands.

    I’ve never used that tactic.
    I am willing to enter into an arrangement after there is some level of mutual attraction developed.
    During the early stages, I want to see if we’re compatible.
    More often then not, I’ve had sex with potential SB’s before the arrangement was set. However, it was NEVER forced or demanded on my part. In each case, it happened because we both wanted it to, and then things progressed from there.

    Seems simple on the surface…but, rarely it is.

  267. bob says:

    d-dubs, i bet my mistakes > yours.

    restraining orders. police. your friend making a funny photochop of her booking photo: priceless!

    live and learn, huh? heh 😀

    that said i have had some really good things come from this site too. my point is that you gotta wade through a bunch of rubbish to find the one sparkly gem, and if lady luck turns out in your favor that one find can be WELL worth the effort.

    This advice should apply to BOTH SDs and SBs. Dont take too pessimistic a view of every potential out there just because you have only kissed a bunch of frogs so far. Have some fun with it. Dont get your hopes up too far too fast and good things will eventually come to those who wait (and TRY)

  268. bob says:

    One more thing… I too would have to agree with d-dubs to an extent.

    A lot of men CAN and will just throw out numbers to impress a potential SB. that said it shouldn’t take too much effort to find out if a guy is legit or not. just use some common sense. And if his story seems to be good but when you meet him he offers ya 100 clams for a shag, keep on walkin. unless you think the guy is dead sexy.

    Oh and you dont need a suitcase to carry 10k in hundreds. heck with a hoodie sweater on and the cash in a front pocket (yes, fashion is NOT my thing) you probably wouldn’t even ask if i was happy to see ya!

  269. D-Dubs says:

    Bob –
    you are not arguementative…just completely spot-on in your observation.

    however, I don’t go into any first meeting (and believe me, I’ve made mistakes that are well documented previously on this blog) with the expectation of sex, or after accepting a demand for money.

    there have been a couple circumstances where I’ve compensated someone for lost time at work…which leads me to another quick point. Its amazing how much some of these girls earn in one weekend! Some make $500 to $1000 per day! Yet, they need financial assistance. Go figure.
    I’ve never given anyone more than $500 for a first meeting weekend spent together. The figure had nothing to do with sex, but rather not wanting to inconvenience someone for meeting.

    I’m not one to enjoy sex anyway without some intimacy…and, to me…that can’t be faked or paid for. an arrangement that is straight-up sex for money is a turn-off. If there are no mutual feelings at all, I will move on.

    paying someone “for their time” is just silly. my time is valuable too.

    coming to terms on an arrangement without seeing if there’s any mutual attraction or chemistry or whatever other cliche’ fits…is also silly.

  270. D-Dubs says:

    I agree with JohnQ…

    I’m also curious to know if ANYONE has ever received an allowance of 10k per month or more…and, if so…how were you paid?
    Did the SD bring a suitcase full of hundred dollar bills each month?
    Did you pay taxes on the money?
    Did he expense or write-off the money?

    From every single potential SB I’ve spoken to over the last few years (I’ve been on and off over that length of time), when someone offers that kind of coin without meeting, they’re just trying to get your attention, and no relationship at all ever develops.

    And just because someone has been on the site for a while doesn’t mean they are a fake or not to be trusted. I speak from experience here, too. I come and go when I’m in and out of arrangements, or just too busy to get involved.

    Also, just because someone disappears on your doesn’t mean they’re a fake either. Perhaps they just found someone else more suitable to their needs. In this case, they should tell all they are communicating with at the time, but we know this isn’t always human nature. Many people would rather just fade away rather than tell the truth and potentially hurt someone else’s feelings.

    Just my two cents. Hope you all are doing well.

  271. bob says:

    is it just me, or do i seem to find something to nitpick whenever i come to this blog? maybe i’m just the argumentative sort 😉


    “no free test drives – you might not get an allowance”

    “if he wants to pay for play then he wants an escort not a SB”

    excuse me, but if you need an allowance before he gets an umm…. ‘test drive’ isnt that just escorting by another name?

    I mean when you put it that way the only difference i see is an hourly rental vs a monthly lease.

    Wouldn’t it be better to suggest that if Christina is ok with an arrangement that involves sex then the best thing to do is to make sure that BOTH parties have a great time on their first date? Christina can make a date for something that she would find fun and fulfilling, maybe a fancy dinner and show after a quick get together for coffee to see if things are looking good from the first impression – and in return she can wear a special garter and bleep the living bleep out of mr potential SD?

    While writing this post I’m reminded of another blog entry I read, where a woman who was having a hard time finding a SD wrote to SA and asked for advice. They suggested that the woman put her best foot forward. They also pointed out that a mutually beneficial arrangement can be, well… A beneficial situation to find one’s self in, and as such it’s best to put a reasonable amount of effort into first impressions just like you would a job interview. After all you wouldn’t go to your prospective boss and not show him all of your best work till AFTER he hires you!

    I don’t mean this to be some sort of direct attack on your personal approach, but since this is obviously a place where SBs come for advice I’d like to offer a counterpoint from the viewpoint of a prospective SD.

    Others may disagree, but personally if a prospective SB had the preconceived idea that she shouldn’t sleep with me until an allowance was in place, even if I showed her a good time, then I would move right along as the arrangement would feel too commercial. I like to spoil but at the same time i want to be spoiled too.

  272. johnq says:

    Honestly sounds to me like you’re getting played here, but I hope I’m wrong. Good luck with the meeting and let us know how it works out.


  273. christina says:

    He didn’t ask me to wear the garter belt he asked if I like to wear things like that. I asked him if he wanted me to wear it when we meet and he paused and said if you want to. He just explained to me that he likes garter belts and if I ever wore them before.

  274. johnq says:

    Again, $10K a month is a very high allowance, not to mention a rent-free condo. I would guess there are women who’ve received that kind of allowance through this site, but I’m quite sure they’re few and far between. Someone who would discuss that kind of money after some emails and one phone call would make me suspicious, particularly since it sounds as if he was suggesting that he’s willing to go higher if $10K a month isn’t enough for you.

    And asking you to wear a particular type of lingerie at an initial meeting also seems kind of strange.

    As always, YMMV, and I wish you luck with this guy. But I wouldn’t count on promises of condos or future allowances until the check actually clears.


  275. lisa says:

    Good I’m glad because I was checking out the guys from belleville. I see some on there that have been there forever, good looking guys (well if it’s really there pictures) offering alot, but can’t find anyone, odd

    ok I”ve got to log off and watch some tv and go to bed soon, i’m exhausted
    goodnight everyone

  276. christina says:

    No honey, I didn’t meet him off of this site. A mutual blank dot com

  277. lisa says:

    just making sure because that guy is a fake, been on the site for at least over a year. Everytime a sd renews his membership, he gets a new profile creation date.

  278. lisa says:

    christina his profile name wasn’t too words that started with “B” was it? Boo

  279. christina says:

    He didn’t offer it to me. He asked if I would be willing. He was just feeling me out. He hasn’t promised me anythying. He just said his last relationship lasted two years and her allowance was ten k. Adn asked if that would be okay with me. He said we will meet and go from there but he never promised me anything. I think telling me ahead of time what he will be willing to do is important. If it wasn’t then there wouldn’t be an option on the site saying what they would be willing to do.

  280. johnq says:


    If something sounds too good to be true, it usually is, particularly around here. A man you’ve never met (and who has never met you) is offering you $10K a month, which is a very high (though not completely unheard of) allowance, plus he’s willing to put you up rent-free in a condo that he appears to have sitting around unused.

    Maybe I’m just overly suspicious, but I don’t understand why any SD would make these kinds of offers without at least meeting you first to see if there’s any chemistry. My guess is he’s hoping to dazzle you, with the goal of getting a closer look at the garter belt on your first or second date, and the rest of it won’t ever actually materialize. You wouldn’t be the first SB that’s happened to.

    I hope I’m wrong about this, but you need to be seriously careful here.


  281. christina says:

    Any one in any successful relationships right now?

  282. christina says:

    He has told me he wants it exclusive and I agreed. If we hit it off I don’t want anyone one else. I have too much that I have to accomplish in the near future to be bothered with all kinds of men in my life lol. One guy that fits all my needs and I will be faithful. He said most of the times I will be going out of town with him so for me to not have a job would be ideal but he isn’t telling me to quit. He also asked if I would be willing to relocate to Bellevue(which is just like 30min away) to a condo in which he would have access when ever during the week at least twice a week. I told him it was fine as long as he knew that he needed to call and set up times for us to meet that even though he will be supporting me I still want respect and my space. and he agreed.

    Thank you so much for your help! I can’t wait till I am more experienced so I can help others. 😉 It’s crazy there is a whole nother world like this where its accepted….I never knew….this will help my life greatly.

  283. SF SD says:


    As NC Gent says, there are no hard and fast rules, and you’ve done just fine so far. You’re aware of the potential pitfalls. The thing from here is just to so how things go.

    Does he follow through with the meeting? Is there at least a hint of chemistry? Is he sufficiently a gentleman? Do you enjoy similar things? Do the two of you want to see each other again? After the meeting does he follow up and do what he says he’s going to do?

    At some point, you’ll want to talk more about how things might work. How often would you would want to meet and where, for example. At some point you will feel comfortable enough to discuss the financial part of your arrangement. If you’ve already talked a lot, it might seem natural to do this at the first meeting. Or it might take another dinner date or an outing for you to feel comfortable.

    If he offers something that meets your needs, great, though you should be ready to tell him what you require. If the offer is really $10K+, it’s possible he might ask for an exclusive arrangement. Consider how you would respond to this.

    There are so many variations it’s hard to cover them all. The main thing is be yourself and be confident.

  284. lisa says:

    christina this is on another site. The only way you can see other sb profiles on SA is to not log in and look to the lower left where it says i’m looking for a “pick sugarbaby” and you can view other sb profiles, however in order to view a specific sb profile, you need the profile number and have to click on another sb profile and change the number in the url.

    Gotta go now, need to get my stuff together for tomorrow. Worked the lasat 5 days so i’m tired and looking forward to being off tomorrow

    Have a good night everyone

  285. Chrystal says:

    Hey im new to this site / lifestyle.
    Im a student and I love to travel.
    Can anyone brisk through my page, give me some input
    and maybe some advice on the lifestyle / how to distiguish
    between the jerks and the true daddies.

    Profile Number 353783

  286. christina says:

    Hahah!! Mail order brides??! haha! that is funny…I can’t see any sb profiles! How do you do that I want to see my competition! lol hehe

    SF SD , I am still confused on in what order is these things suppose to go what comes first where both parties won’t be used….but a seperate accound makes a lot of sense. Thanks for the help. I feel retarded asking all these questions but its all very new and I want to get it right. I guess maybe by trial and error?

  287. lisa says:

    I was checking out some sugarbaby profiles on the other site, there seems to be alot of them. Odd how each profile is written the same (full line, one word line, full line, one word line, etc

    I am looking to meet
    nice man who will
    me like a queen

    I think these profiles are fake, all from the Ukraine and stunning looking women

  288. lisa says:

    I have a one bedroom and my bill is 150 dollars. In the winter it’s only 80 with the heat. Hot weather sucks. Everyone walks around here in flip flops, tank tops and shorts. Not a very good look. I prefer to see people put some effort into their attire, not here though.

  289. SF SD says:


    If the allowance is as large as he is proposing, it would probably be best to have him deposit it directly to a bank account. But don’t worry about that now. Just see how the meeting goes. If things develop the way you (and we) are hoping, you can open up an account for this purpose at a later time.

    NYC, does that sound right?

  290. christina says:

    I know! I lived in Killeen a long time ago and I tried man I really did try to just chill with out the ac on but it felt like my brain was frying! Like I was going to go crazy till I just jumped up and turn it on. It was so expensive and I lived in a little one bedroom apt with a three hundred dollar flippin electricity bill!

  291. lisa says:

    No ac? Yikes, we can’t live without it here. I keep saying the my employer needs to just send my next paycheck straight to the power company, darn it’s expensive. We won’t see livable temperatures until october and that means 80’s, maybe some 70’s.

  292. lisa says:

    Christina, the safest form of allowance is cash. Don’t except gift cards from someone you don’t know well as these things can be picked up in any store and put in one’s pocket without validating and putting money on them. I find the holders for stolen giftcards all the time at work because some people actually think they are already worth the listed amount. Also do not give bank info to anyone. Make sure he shows you some spoiling or some allowance before you proceed with him. Don’t fall for the “let’s get to know each other first deal, because that most likely means let me have sex with you first with no real assurance that you will get any allowance. Also if he wants to pay for play, he’s not a sd, he’s looking for an escort. He should spoil you because he wants to, not to get you into bed. And never drink alcohol on a first date. I always order coke, it might look odd, but being in full control of my senses is important.

  293. christina says:

    AAhh!! Yes! It’s crazy out here girl. I’m burning up…trying not to make any sudden movements.haha! The only difference out here then you guys is we don’t have A/C. I mean in business’s and stuff but no one has it in their homes! Can’t complain, it will be fall soon enough bleh…Seattle weather sucks. lol

  294. christina says:

    Thank you so much! This helps a lot. I’ve been looking for online chat for this stuff but I can’t find anything. I don’t want to act like I don’t know what I’m doing and put myself in a vunerable place where someone can take advantage of my inexperience. What is the proper way to recieve my allowance? Just so I know how it works so he can’t doop me or tell me bull. Which I don’t think he will he seems like a really cool dude and trustworthy but better safe then sorry. And I will definetly tell you guys how it goes down…This is the first place I will be when I come home haha.

  295. lisa says:

    ok that sounds ok Christina. I was just concerned that he might be the guy that contacted me about a year ago. But he was in Houston. This blog is good for keeping tabs on our experiences with potentials.

    Meet him for coffee in a public place, don’t put yourself in a risky situation by going anywhere private with him. And as NC Gent said, no free testdrives. Many sds will say they need to see if you are compatible first, which is a way to taste the goods for free.

    Have a great date :) Oh and I heard on the news about the intense heat you are having in Seattle, 102 I think, that’s what Houston is like every day, lol

  296. NC Gent says:

    Well you are doing every thing right so far. If he brought up the allowance that is a good sign! Go have coffee – relax and have funn and if there is chemistry hopefully things will fall into place. Make sure you let us know how it goes :)

  297. christina says:

    I am in Seattle and he lives in Bellevue. Which is like thirty minutes from Seattle. No way! No free test drives! Just coffee I will leave if anything else comes up. I haven’t told him how much I wanted because I didn’t know you could ask that. Like I said I am new. I just asked for the usual. I don’t want to have to worry about bills and such, living expenses. He is the one that told me right off what allowance he is willing to give and asked me if I was okay with that. He also asked if I wanted a condo.
    Lisa- He only mentioned garter belt to me last night on the phone. He just said as a side note that he’s a garter belt lover and if I would be ever willing to wear them.

  298. lisa says:

    Christina, did he spell garter belt “garder belt”? I am curious because I was contacted by someone who mentions this in his profile and offered a large allowance. I felt uncomfortable with his email as it seemed too personal for me being that I had never met the guy. I would think it would be more appropriate to mention that once you met and felt an arrangement would work.

  299. NC Gent says:

    That is probably enough info to meet him in a public place. I would recommend against the garter belt until you have an agreement. Also, no free test drives! Does he have an idea or range of what you might desire for an allowance?

  300. lisa says:

    curious Christina, where is he from, what area of the country are you in?
    I’m in Texas

  301. christina says:

    Thanks guys! I do feel comfortable meeting him and we talk all day online. I have his full name and a website for his business. I tried to google him but I didn’t get anything and I tried the better business bureau for his company and they didn’t have anything. I don’t even know if something like that would be on there. I can send the link to his business and maybe a more trained person would be able to tell?? He seems really cool and nice though. Also he says it’s optional but he loves garder belts, I’ve never worn one before. Should I wear one for him tomorrow? Okay maybe they won’t let me do that on here? lol oops…um..also my last question was about how much should I know is okay to expect? My allowance would be 10k a month plus travel with him and shopping. Is this too much?? How do I know he will think of me in this way once we meet?? Would he change his mind and allow me less? lol

  302. christina says:

    Thanks guys! I do feel comfortable meeting him and we talk all day online. I have his full name and a website for his business. I tried to google him but I didn’t get anything and I tried the better business bureau for his company and they didn’t have anything. I don’t even know if something like that would be on there. I can send the link to his business and maybe a more trained person would be able to tell?? He seems really cool and nice though. Also he says it’s optional but he loves garder belts, I’ve never worn one before. Should I wear one for him tomorrow? http://www.fedtechgroup.com That’s his website.

  303. NC Gent says:

    Sorry we missed your post Christina! There are no rules per se, and as long as you feel comfortable, go for it. Meeting in a public place is a good idea. Do you have sufficient information to verify who he is such as name and occupation? Best wishes!

  304. lisa says:

    That’s not too soon, providing you know some things about him and have seen a recent picture. I was contacted by a sd for the first time on a sunday and met him on friday and it worked out well for the short time.
    It seems to be more common for the sds to take forever to meet that is the problem, they want to take forever and then they disappear

  305. christina says:

    Hey guys, I posted somthing before and got now response, wonder why. You guys seem to have a close knit relationship in this realm but I would love to get some in put also as I am new to this SD thing. Well, not really but I am new to the spoken arrangment thing. So I’ve been corresponding with a possible SD since Sunday the 26. We’ve talked back and forth through email all day and online through IM we had our first comversation on the phone last night. He even called me again later around 10 saying that he was thinking about me and wanted to talk some more. He want so meet tomorrow for coffee, the 30th. Is this too soon? I don’t know the proceedure. Help!!

  306. lisa says:

    really and they were dressed like thugs, maybe they want to look good on their fake SA profiles, lol

  307. Midgetfury74 says:

    haha, thats just ridiculous

  308. carlamarie says:

    Thanks NC Gent. My profile number is 355841. Looking forward to your input!

  309. lisa says:

    Hey I just heard on the news that two men smashed into a Galleria area men’s store and stole about 60 suits. There are going to be some well dressed men in Houston, lol

  310. lisa says:

    Midgetfury I hope he isn’t the same one that emailed me, he is also away till the end of next week so I consider him a poof. I find it odd that those who are going to take a while to meet are not interested in corresponding or sharring a picture in the time being.

    I’m in Spring branch and tomorrow my parents and daughter (who haven’t spoken to me in 5 weeks) are moving from their spring branch apartment to the good side of the freeway, Memorial. They are mad because I wouldn’t move with them are share an apartment, but I have to chose my freedom and privacy rather than a nice place, lol. I could never enjoy my sugar lifestyle with them so close. lol

    Most of the HOuston sds have been on this site forever, just like me, but there’s more competion for sbs since sds are outnumbered on the site I think 10 to 1 and that doesn’t include all the fakes.

  311. Midgetfury74 says:

    Lisa.. Where are you? So i think I have officially exhausted all possibilities in Houston except for one gentleman that I am corresponding with but happens to be away on vacation right now.

  312. lisa says:

    Good afternoon everyone

    Nitemare, sorry I missed my morning before-work post, lol
    Home tired now, looking forward to the next couple days off.
    Meredith, we call those “poof daddies” and it happens to all of us, i’ve had several one time meetings that seemed to go well and then they poofed. You just got to keep on meeting people to find the right one.

  313. NC Gent says:

    Hi all — welcome to the blog petite ebony and Carlamarie. CarlaMarie — if you give us your profile number we will be glad to look at your profile and make some comments (nice ones!)

  314. petite ebony sb says:

    Hello everyone!!!! I’m new to the blog but not SA I’ve been fortunate enuff to have one great sd that gives me a huge allowance and he always have gifts for me :o)

  315. NYC SB says:

    dorky – your mom sounds like a great lady

  316. carlamarie says:


    I am very, very new to the site, and was wondering if someone could look over my profile and offer any helpful, constructive criticism?

    I have already had small success with my profile, a potential SD currently awaiting further photos, and offering to pay for childcare with someone whom I trust to look after my son. I am quite lucky, I feel, to have found someone as considerate as that, and on the first day! He has been very dignified, refined, and thoughtful, not once bringing up any question of money. Instead we have concentrated on exchanging on topics of mutual flexibility, other commitments in our lives, and exchanging photos. I would never be so indiscreet as to post his identity, but I will give him a big, warm hug in the event that we do arrange to meet as he has made my first SD experience much more gentle than I thought it would be.

    I eagerly await your feedback on my profile,


  317. DorkyGuy says:

    pffft @ Subway… ya don’t get to be rich by splurging on dining out.

    A cheap first date is to take the girl to meet your parents.

    Mom is always glad to cook for free! Often it’s a very nice casserole. She might even teach the SB a thing or two about cooking.

    Very important: I get to break away from the date for 10 minutes to watch sports on TV while my Mom and the SB take care of the dishes. You can’t do that at Subway!

    Mom is always buying clothes at the thrift shops and garage sales, and she’s always happy to give clothes to my date. Shopping at upscale boutiques? For losers!

  318. NYC SB says:

    dear sugars come out to play!

  319. I probably have one of the lowest incomes of anyone here (24 year old on Social Security Disability, with literally 75% of that income going towards rent), but I don’t expect an allowance. It would great, sure, but it would never be a deal breaker.

    I’d rather have some random gifting (esp. gift cards so I could get things I needed, not just pretty underwear) and shopping when we meet.

    I just met a man who I’ve been having fun with over the internet for some months and we were unable to spend our full afternoon together due to a home emergency that he had and he did give me cash to go shopping with when we said goodbye. It felt a little strange because it was so much to me but I realize half was what he would have paid for the hotel if we’d been able to do that and the other half we would have gone shopping together. So I scooted out and bought some pretty dresses for our next meeting.

    Only now I haven’t heard from him since then (over a week!) and I’m worried. We had a good time eating together and we had a little physical time that was great, so I don’t know what went wrong (only thing I can think of is that his wife found out). It sucks. We spent a lot of time building a relationship and rapport online and he was really sweet and not possessive. I know we all go back to the old drawing board sometimes, but no one else I’ve talked to has been as sweet as he is.

  320. NitemareSD says:

    Lisa? 😮

  321. NitemareSD says:

    I wonder if finding an SB who’s attitude toward money is similar to the SD’s is important in the same ways as finding a wife who’s attitude is similar.

    Or if finding an SB who’s money attitude is opposite the wife’s is often important.

  322. NitemareSD says:

    lisa Says:

    July 28th, 2009 at 7:13 pm

    Budget sugar? I live a few blocks from Cosco (heck I live a few blocks from everything, lol) but I don’t have a membership so I don’t think I can get in


    I don’t recall that they check IDs, so if an SD lends you his membership card for entry that might cover a good chunk his allowance.

  323. SF SD says:

    “remember, if you’re going costco, you need a membership”

    Damn straight. A private club. You’re talking to a player! :)

  324. lisa says:

    Hi everyone Back from work.
    RedMaru, we have the same days off, lol i’m off thur and fri, too

    Nitemare, I love Marshalls, there is one a few blocks from me, maybe I should go look around on my day off

    Budget sugar? I live a few blocks from Cosco (heck I live a few blocks from everything, lol) but I don’t have a membership so I don’t think I can get in, lol Walmart is on my street
    I go to the HEB marker for food samples and order free samples online, I always have travel size stuff.

    Going to eat now

  325. RachelJay says:

    [email protected] remember, if you’re going costco, you need a membership;)

  326. SF SD says:

    I view gifts as being outside the normal stream of support. I kind of keep my senses tuned for things that I think she might like. As Nico mentioned, small things can be just as meaningful as big ones.

    With my need for discretion, gifts sent my direction could easily go wrong. But props to my SB for unexpected photos and “thinking about you” messages that mean a lot between get-togethers.

    Nitemare, I never thought of WalMart. No Price Chopper here, but there’s a 99-cent store just down the street for those “buy anything you want” sprees. And nobody’s mentioned the free samples at Costco. Maybe it’s time for a blog about “Sugaring on a Budget” — also known as “all that and a bag of chips.”

  327. RedMaru says:

    Hey again! Thanks belle 😀
    Hopefully I can get a least one of my b-day wishes

  328. nell34 says:

    They (they being the evil beings that cut my paycheck) finally took the manacle off my ankle for the night. lol

    NC Gent; unfortunately the Subway Bandit seemed normal. Maybe I need to get my loser radar recalibrated.

    More on topic…I consider the first meeting something already mutually beneficial, we’re seeing if we like each other! Besides, for a first meeting, buying me drinks and/or dinner is sufficient. Now if that little scenario gets drug out for 3 or 4 “dates/meetings” I’m going to get a trifle annoyed. :)

  329. RachelJay says:

    Wow, it surely has been sometime since I last posted on this blog (December, right before I met the Mr.) As a sugar baby, (and girlfriend lol) I would prefer it to be on a genuine basis. I would hope that we (the SD and I) would be giving to one another of our own free will out of the kindness of our hearts and not based on the article of clothing he expects me to take off next. This is an arrangement, not strip poker;)

  330. Belle says:

    Hi everyone,
    Day off today..dances around in circle woo hoo :)
    you are so lucky redmaru , vacation sounds so nice, happy birthday for the 31st jul, my birthday is comming up soon and the girls have got something really big planned, so i kinda excited about that one. They have told me very few details – alls i know is that i must treat myself to a new pair of heels, an overnight bag and a great outfit and have my ”pretty lil a** ready” ….ooooo the anticipation :):)

    Big plans for myself today-hit the gym – lol havent done this in years -its gunna hurt lol – so lucky to have been blessed with good genes, have
    lunch with some friends and take a quick trip to outskirts of town for a little down time with a book i think :)

    Belle x

  331. Nico~346434~ says:

    Hello sugar family! I like this topic. My allowance always came very regularly; however the little gifts put a huge smile on my face. Chocolate covered strawberries a nice trip into a store to buy a nice dress HE saw in the window and, when I come to his side of the state, he always has a bar of my favorite chocolate and a packet of gum (always have gum in my purse). I dropped my phone the other day and while mine still works, it’s a bit tempermental now so he offered to buy me a new one. It is things like that which make it feel al the more special to me.

  332. RedMaru says:

    Afternoon sugars! One more day of work till my vacation. Two days left till my b-day 31 Jul.

  333. NC Gent says:

    I am available weekdays, but I also have no problem compensating someone for their lost wages depending upon their situation. Every arrangement is different :)

  334. bob says:


    I have to somewhat agree with nitemare, at least to a certain extent. If you are meeting for drinks and a potential SB asks for ‘compensation for her time’ thats an automatic moving right along for me. I’ll go to craigslist instead.

    if we are going away for a day or two, unless there are some big time extenuating circumstances then the same pretty much holds true. Sure it might cost you a day or two of work, or other expenses, but the assumption is your SD will also have expenses directed towards ensuring you both have a good time together. It’s nice to see a SB taking some effort to spend time with you above and beyond simply being there.

    Now in your particular case this obviously wouldn’t work in the long run for you, but speaking as a SD I sure would like to see that sort of thing on the first few dates as we are getting to know one another.

  335. NitemareSD says:

    I am available weekdays.

    Supporting NYC SB would cost so much less than buying shoes after I teach her to cut back on cab fare, she’ll be a great deal for someone.

  336. JetSet says:

    Call me a hooker then. I myself have a young son and work weekends as a cocktailer. I work three days a week and spend the rest of the week with my son as staying home on these days off has proved cheaper than having a weekday job. I’ve yet to meet a SD that was able to meet weekdays and whether i took work off to him him or not i would still be stuck paying for childcare. Which i have done. But honestly why would i lose out on working a weekend AND pay out for childcare when the entire point of this relationship is to not have to worry about financial burden?

  337. NYC SB says:

    Nitemare – that girl sounds like a real catch :) however you should support me and with that you would be supporting the NY economy indirectly … i think its a better deal 😉

  338. NitemareSD says:

    Lisa – we got a dollar store about 10 min from the house, whenever you finally break down… 😉

    We have many other fast food establishments, as well as your Walmarts, Marshalls, TJ Maxx and even a Price Chopper if you get hungry but don’t feel like eating out.

    I love meeting in high end hotel bars in the city because they have great places to sit and talk, quiet to hear each other, and great atmosphere. If the SB insists on getting a room, I can refuse on cost grounds and offer to go back to my place.

  339. NitemareSD says:

    lisa Says:

    July 28th, 2009 at 7:37 am
    If a sb has alot of free time and is well off financially, which most probably aren’t, i’m sure she could do the travel and gift thing … That particular person should look for a senior citizen woman if he is just looking for a traveling partner. Traveling is great but it should just be an extra perk in an arrangement


    I know just such a woman in her sixties who would like just that and already travels on her own. I suggested she join the above mentioned SM sister site, but I wonder if she could find anything on SA? I told her she should highlight all her advantages of sophistication, freedom, self support, etc. over the alternative women who have more needs.

    I would think they would need their loss of income from traveling replaced.
    What I love are the ones who ask for compensation for ‘lost work’ for meeting out of town for a day or two – as if they never have a day off. That is a straight hooker line. DELETE

  340. NC Gent says:

    No fair Nitemare — you get all the good ones!

  341. NitemareSD says:

    (oh, I meant to say that came from SeekingMillionaire) 😮

  342. NitemareSD says:

    As a gentleman living on the East Coast, such rare and exclusive opportunities almost never present themselves…



    I am looking for one generous guy
    who can spoil me, trips gifts and more

    :) can you take me shopping and support me
    I will be going to college in LA in the fall

    tell me about you. thanks

    p.s . if your interested, let me know

  343. NC Gent says:

    Hello all.

    Sorry about your first date Nell – at least it wasn’t too painful to learn he was a loser. In retrospect, was there any warning signs prior to meeting?

    Dani – I agree with DC on the clothing option — a black skirt with a nice top pretty much fits in anywhere. Good call DC. I have met a few potentials in a hotel lobby, but we quickly headed out to dinner or some other venue, so that shouldn’t bother you, especially if he is on the road and you feel comfortable with him. If he wants to stay at the hotel bar, I would suggest elsewhere :)

    I have also met a SBs at a coffee shop for a first meeting. In fact, that is where I met my first long-term SB. Again, it all depends on what you feel comfortable with. Some SBs like the casualness of a coffee meet-and-greet. Nonetheless, I would never suggest meeting at Subway or any other variation of fast food.

    Have a great day every one!

  344. RedMaru says:

    Hi Belle
    Work work and more work and counting down/looking forward to having Thur and Friday off.

  345. Belle says:

    woops done it again – sorry that was ment to be redmaru
    belle xx

  346. Belle says:

    I agree with you lisa ..although i am yet to have my first sb-sd arrangement..i feel that perhaps i would like to be suprised and well a little thought behind it i guess would be nice providing that it is the type of arrangement that a gift would be called for :) Any big plans for the day babies?
    Belle x

  347. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugars! Hey Goodgirl if I haven’t already missed you. Had a chance to read up about the cheap sugar flake of nells. wow so I guess I should feel lucky that my 1st was Dominos American Legends at his patio house….lol
    As far as a gift sometimes I prefer directly and sometimes I like to be surprised to answer the blog question. I like gifts and travel but I have to say I prefer an allowance as then I can pamper myself when I want to.

  348. lisa says:

    If a sb has alot of free time and is well off financially, which most probably aren’t, i’m sure she could do the travel and gift thing but for those of us who have jobs and have to work, traveling all the time would be out of the question. Even if someone had a job that was flexible, I would think they would need their loss of income from traveling replaced. That particular person should look for a senior citizen woman if he is just looking for a traveling partner. Traveling is great but it should just be an extra perk in an arrangement

  349. bob says:


    I myself have had 2 arrangements such as this. not because they were rigidly structured so, but because in my experience at least, a fair number of SBs who are not the sort to quote their ‘rate’ on a per date basis are uncomfortable with bringing cash into the mix, even if it’s handled more tactfully than a wad of bills left on the night stand as you pass through town. then again some arent as bothered.

    spoiling doesn’t have to include cash.

  350. Midgetfury74 says:

    just found this lovely number on a profile….

    ” I don’t really want to give any cash to anyone, it’s not my thing, I would like to take a babe to the best restaurants, give nice gifts from time to time and what I really want is take you for weekends in Vegas or New York and depending on your time and mine even short Eurotrips. I’m not here to pay cash for company, I’m still young and can get that on my own without paying, I’m here because I like to have fun, pamper, wine, dine and show the best in the world to an interesting and fun to be with babe. If interested contact me ”

    Hmmm, i suppose if all you want are gifts and travel this would work but i have the impression that most of the SB are also looking for an allowance.
    SB, what is your opinion on this arrangement?

  351. Goodgirl says:

    Hey RedMaru!!!!! Long time no see! :)

  352. RedMaru says:

    Sorry bout the jerk episode nell34. Sounds like he would be better suited for Fling.com. Guess I should be lucky my date was Dominos AMerican Legends pizza at the patio house….lol

    As far as I would prefer gift giving to be handled I like to be surprised sometimes and of course regardless I would show my appreciation.

  353. RedMaru says:

    Anybody still here?

  354. RedMaru says:

    Out of lurker mode…..evening sugars hows everyone. Sorry bout the jerk you were subjected to nell34. He needs to go on Fling.com I think that would be better suited to his needs. I guess I should feel lucky that my first date was Dominos American Legends at his patio house eh? 😀

  355. RedMaru says:

    I would have preferred Quiznos….their subs are toasted….

  356. RedMaru says:

    Evening sugars! Hows everybody tonight? Coming out of lurker mode again Wow Nell34 sorry bout that jerk flake, etc. He needs to go on Fling.com he’ll have better luck. I second all the advice given here. You were right to cut that off. Wow my 1st date was Dominos American Legends should I feel lucky lol

  357. Brooke says:

    Subway guy sounds like a real winner. I personally would never meet someone at a fast food joint, or even Starbucks ( and I’m a Starbucks junkie-speaking of the gifts topic, a Starbucks gift card loaded to last me a couple months or more would make me happy! Those Venti’s aren’t cheap) anyway, not that I’m pretentious, but I think meeting at a place like that kind of clashes with the whole dynamic of the situation.

    I am taking the plunge and meeting someone next week, it will be my first in person meet so I’m a little nervous about it..but we have been emailing for a while now and he seems perfect- has not once mentioned sex (which is very refreshing) and he is funny, attractive, etc. I will be sure to post about it afterward!

  358. lisa says:

    Good night

    I’m going to bed soon

  359. Farm Girl says:

    Boy, do I love this blog! I found it by accident 4 hours ago, and haven’t stopped reading yet!

    Does it normally take so long for posts to clear? Anyway, I found the answer to my post which is holding for approval. Thanks!

  360. nell34 says:

    Yeah, that comment got him permanently removed from my radar. He’s lucky I didn’t dump my drink on him!

    Oh well, better luck next time. :) Goodnight all!

  361. lisa says:

    nelly34, you have your answer, he’s a jerk, not a sd, and if you have sex with him, he’ll find an excuse to give you nothing or he’ll pull that thing that alot of guys do and say you’re a hooker because you expect spoiling.

  362. nell34 says:

    Goodgirl-my gut says that he was jerking me around. I tried to talk about what kind of arrangement he was looking for he avoided the topic. When I brought it up a second time he said “I’m not paying or giving gifts until you have sex with me”. It ended pretty quickly after that.

    Lisa-I’d forgotten about the Jordache! That’s almost as atrocious as that Malibu Musk aerosol perfume.

  363. Dani says:

    DC- a friend of mine us adamant about me telling her where I am. She already knows where I’ll be.

    I also just emailed the pot about my concerns (in reference to having sex). We’ve spent hours on the phone and I do like him quite a bit, but I have a rule (from reading other sb blogs) no sex on the first meeting.

  364. lisa says:

    too bad he didnt’ find the coupons in the redplum grocery mailers, they sometimes have coupons for free chips and drink with sandwhich purchase. lol

    Dented cans of beans? No I thought you might want to pick out some of their nice cosmetics, lol or some of that jordache perfume that they have hundreds of bottles of , lol

  365. Goodgirl says:

    Nell~ did he seem genuine? Maybe he just thought it was a casual spot for a 1st meet and just simply doesn’t care for starbucks? (was it past ‘coffee time’?) …personally, i don’t like their coffee…sometimes SD’s will meet an SB there for a 1st meet though so that she won’t feel uncomfortable, and if it doesn’t work out they can part quickly. What does your gut say?

  366. Goodgirl says:

    Hey sugars!!!
    ~Dani- I totally agree with DC and Lisa! :) Make sure you’re prepared to answer the question about getting a room. For a first meet, I would avoid the hotel all together, but to each his own. GOOD LUCK!!! We all want to know how it turns out!
    livinlearn~I’d say if he’s taking you to an upscale shopping place, chances are he’s not concerned about the budget too awful much. Personally, I’d just tell him that this has been on your mind. (I’m VERY blunt about things) :) lol! Remember, wealthy or not, when it comes down to it, we’re all people with concerns about things…. he might even think it’s endearing that you don’t want to cross the spoiled ROTTEN line 😉 Just let him know that while you’d love to be spoiled by him, this is new to you and you don’t want to take advantage of him….
    Topic~I haven’t gotten any gifts that were’nt monetary…well, actually I got 1 from an SD that I never met in the mail. We still talk often, and I care for him bunches, but we’re friends. He wants an SB he can see more often…what a lucky girl she will be!!!
    I will have to answer this topic I suppose after I find my SD.

  367. nell34 says:

    No chips, no cookies… :( he did take the liberty of ordering me a small fountain drink though.

  368. nell34 says:

    Lisa-I do feel lucky that I actually got a sandwich after hearing that! Oh my, nothing would tickle my fancy more than some dented cans of green beans from the 99 cent store!

  369. SBinCA says:


    AHAAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAH….did he at least let you get cookies and a bag of chips?

  370. lisa says:

    and let me guess, a shopping spree at 99 cent only store? :( darn i like the 99 cent only store but they are pulling out of Texas

  371. lisa says:

    I once had a date (not a sugar date) with a guy who ate a subway sandwhich in front of me, so be glad he bought you one, lol

  372. nell34 says:

    Hi All, T

    This is my first post…but I had to comment. How about when first meeting goes bad? I just had a meeting with a pot SD, He took me to (hang on to your hats) Subway. Don’t get me wrong, I like a five dollar foot long as much as the next person but I was hoping for something a little classier…Quiznos perhaps, lol. :) Is it just me or does anyone else find this strange for a first meeting?

  373. lisa says:

    and be careful about drinking too much, you don’t want to put yourself in a vulnerable situation and end up being used and dumped. If he avoids the subject of allowance but tries to get you to his room, run

  374. DC says:


    I’d wear something sexy, not slutty, classy, etc. Something that shows off your best assets without being too blatant about it. Maybe a black skirt and sexy sleeveless summery top and heels.

    Assuming you are serious about what he means about take it from there- well it usually means come back to my room. That’s why I don’t think meeting in a hotel lobby is a good idea…unless that is something you both mutually agree on. However if you’ve been reading the blog you will remember stories about SBs who got intimate a little too soon and then wondered what went wrong and felt used.

    Don’t do anything you are not comfortable doing just to win someone over. The first meetings should be to discuss a mutually beneficial arrangement. Plenty of time later to get to know someone.

    And make sure someone knows where you are going. Have fun!

  375. Farm Girl says:

    When I would shop with my SD, if I stopped to admire something, he would say “Could I buy you that ___?” I would decline if I felt it was too extravagant. I really liked this because I would never ask for something. We are no longer together, and I really do wish I had said yes to those Lucchese black lizard cowgirl boots with red roses climbing up the leg. :-)

    Now, I have a question…we are no longer together because after 6 weeks and 2 dates, he was very insistent about having sex. I refused, saying I like him but I am not ready. He said I had to choose. I said we need more dates. He never texted back. I am a healthy adult and do enjoy intimacy. I just prefer to have a level of comfort and trust first. Am I too old-fashioned for a SD/SB relationship?

  376. livinlearn says:

    Hi Sugars!
    Thanks for your advice the other day about shopping. Normally, I would pre-shop, but we’re meeting in an upscale boutique area. How should I handle this? I don’t want to overstep my “budget boundaries” on our first meet. Thoughts from anyone? (Esp current SDs) :)

  377. Dani says:

    Hello everyone!!

    I need everyone’s opinion. I have an upcoming meeting with a pot (first meeting) he wants to meet to have a drink in a five star hotel. My question is what do I wear? He wants us to get to know each other and “then take it from there”. Any sd opinions about what he could mean by this?

    Thanks everyone I really appreciate any advice!!

  378. SF SD says:

    I often look for craft jewelry or unique regional items to bring home from places I travel. This works pretty well, but there was one big-time disaster.

    Just to keep things generic, it involved a regional agricultural product that looked decorative on display, but turned out to be a real nuisance when brought home. Well, what happened is that her cat ate it and got sick in a very unfortunate place. I never lived that one down.