9 years ago
Arrangement Planner


Some sugars take a first class trip on their first ‘date’ date.

Many here have noticed that the first date with a sugar sets the tone for the rest of the arrangement, especially if the negotiation part was left for the face-to-face meeting… While chemistry is usually the biggest deal-breaker, other variables will either make or break the reality of a mutually beneficial relationship.

Top Arrangement Killers:

Change of heart – When a potential decides that sugar isn’t for them after all.
Over-complication – Too much focus is given on discussing the exact terms of an arrangement, which often leads to running around in circles and getting nowhere.
Discouragement – Many are not prepared for the sometimes brutal honesty of prospective sugars, and many become discouraged when their mailbox doesn’t fill up without much effort (especially good-looking SB’s used to being flooded with messages from daters on normal personals sites).

What makes or breaks a sugar arrangement for you?

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262 Responses to “Arrangement Planner”

  1. MYDENYTE says:

    I am reading what every one is saying and my question is I am slightly overweight and am losing. But I had contact with 1 sd but when I emailed pics I haven’t heard anything else from him I’m losing faith here and quickly. What do I do now ?

  2. Sailwithme says:

    A message to FarmGirl (on age) if you happen to still be involved in this conv.

    I happen to be 38 and look 28. Maybe a good SD will be a plastic surgeon and help me maintain that. hehe But I say everyman is different just like us women. Some may like younger. Either because naivety or maybe she is not jaded from life as of yet he thinks. And some SD may feel “young again” to be around someone younger.

    However some SD love a woman that can have a deep conversation. That can truly understand when he talks about life and what he is going through. ( if indeed it is based on friendship) Also some older women are well traveled, and have deeper thoughts from experience thus being able to bring somethings to the plate for their SD in his life or business to help improve on that front. Also older women have a certain elegance and refinement that can ONLY come with age.

    Ever look at an older woman that is beautiful? And she seems powerful, respected, elegant, classy, and full of sex appeal? Just because we may be older does not mean it is over. Some men prefer older women. Provided she maintains herself and used her life experience for the better not the worse.

    And hey guys a saddle? Really I wouldn’t complain I want to fill my slip with a sailboat;-) LOL

    So I don’t care how old… There is always someone for everyone. And for someone to insult you an say you are too old? Maybe he felt threatened in some way. Men lash out when intimidated sometimes. Never take anything to heart.. Know what you have inside heart and head and realize that worrying about what everyone says will only make you old. Remember why older women are sexy… At a certain age we don’t care we know what we have take it or leave it;-) Only weak use insults. That’s no SD in my book! Better off without him.

    So I don’t care how old… There is always someone for everyone. And for someone to insult you an say you are too old? Maybe he felt threatened in some way. Men lash out when intimidated sometimes.

  3. se_vnt3 says:

    Over-complication: running around in circles and getting nowhere definitely breaks a sugar arrangement for me.

  4. JinLA says:

    Hello to all. I am a new SB and getting ready for my 1st POT SD. WWe have e-mailed a few times and have made a comfortable monthly amount in cash. My question is this: When do I ask for the money? up front? At months end? Payment plan? Please advise.
    Thank you so much to all who have walked this path before me.

  5. sunnykisses80 says:

    Hey everybody,

    I’m new to this whole SB/SD thing, I have done some searching around and found quite a few of my answers in most of the blogs but the do’s and don’ts are something I’m not quite 100% sure about yet. Could you please have a look at my profile (370891) and tell me your honest opinion of it. What I should keep/get rid of. Thank you. Like I said before this is all so new to me. And if anyone has any advice for me that would be wonderful as well.
    Thank you in advance for all your help and wish everyone well in their search.

  6. Mia says:

    Hello Sugababes,
    I am new too, questions…
    Does the company who owns this site verify every SDs listed here as far as the wealth or income they posted on their profiles? I read all the previous postings and somehow confused, and wonder… why not draft “an agreement” in advance before moving on to “whatever happens next” so that nobody feels cheated (*both sides). And… if somebody starts bringing up “greyhound” or MCDonald’s… or Domino Pizza… does anyone report this to the site owner so the listed SD can be blocked from the site? Please enlighten me, I am confused… I thought the site was supposed to be very elite and high profile… what’s with Domino Pizza, Greyhound, $16 bracelet? O MY GOD! I was browsing around some 14 pages of SDs listed on the site… and was wondering how in the world can somebody who claims living in Manhattan NYC, making $75K – $100K per year state that he will be able to spend $3000 – $5000 per month for a Sugar Baby. Please shed some light here, before I was laid off- I worked as a government contractor and made $118K per year and I was barely scrapping by living in Washington DC!…

  7. Sweetheart *369919* says:

    Great, I see another typos pot SD I mean, 34 and lives within a 1 hr drive. And I will try to proofread better before hitting SUBMIT button. Sorry if I’ve confused you guys lol.

  8. Sweetheart *369919* says:

    typo 39 * sbf -just had birthday recently keep forgetting- maybe mental block :) Jul 15th

  9. Sweetheart *369919* says:

    Hey all, I am new to the site and 38 SB F, single. Any advice on profile itself would help a newbie to the community. I’ve found the blogs very good and helpful with many of the questions I needed answered- I found here somewhere lol.

    I have a question not any blog I also read the User Agreement, its about the personal contact warning blurb in your reply to email page.

    I have a pot SB who is free member like me and he was asking for my MSN cuz he didn’t have pics and I said I’d like to get to see them. I replied said I was unsure that I could do that being free member as well so how do two free members ever progess or meet? Being totally new here I don’t want to wind up in trouble, nor do I want be in a situation where it seems rude for me to not send my personal information when asked, if I feel ready to do so.

    Any advice? Thank you.

  10. Evan says:

    Stacy…I am new too and my children are my first priority…I hope this works out but unsure myself. Please let me know how things go for you…

  11. Evan says:

    New…how do you set up a first arrangement…What are things a SB should ask and expect on a first meeting?

  12. LeAnneinSF says:

    Damn, I need to win the lotto, so I don’t have to deal with people telling me I’m “too old” *sigh*

  13. LeAnneinSF says:

    Is 39 too old to be considered a potential SB? Nitemare’s posts really bummed me out, but well, at least he was honest…

  14. Becky (367906) says:

    NitemareSD – Just out of curiosity, since there are just way too many comments to read I just have to ask you: Have you found anybody to iron for you?! I think that’s cute! Sometimes it’s the simple things in life that you crave. Hope all is well! =)

    (And yes, I do know how to iron. lol… I was with someone in the Navy for 6 yrs so I even know how to iron a military uniform!)

  15. stacy says:

    i wonder if any sd out there wouldnt mind me saying i have daughters and that i put them first…their wants and needs. my sd will get his time but i will always put my girls first and hope i can find one that will respect and honor that. i not only want him to spoil me bu esp my babies; teens. i may not be young as dirt (35) but i still look good and love to date and get many offers, just not up to it if they cant help me and my girls out when needed. we will see…this is my first day so i guess i will find out if this site is for me or not… tell me guys… is it such a turnoff to date a sb with kids as long as they are not little and clingy when its time for intimacy?

  16. GoodGuySBM says:

    I feel like this. U need to know what u r getting yourself into, before hand. If u wanna exchange cold hard cash for companionship, it is what it is. If u wanna help someone while building an actual relationship, as opposed to a superficial bond depending on money alone, then u need to be clear on that. U have to open up and EXPLAIN what u want. If u don’t, you’re screwed. The saying goes: A CLOSED MOUTH DOESN”T GET FED!!! I’m not a sugar daddy, mind u, but I’m sure this is just as sure for SBM’s and SBF’s as it is for SD’s and SM’s.

  17. D says:

    I’m reading through the numerous comments here and feeling very lucky to be gaining this education about this lifestyle. I am quite surprised at the comments about age though. While I truly do admire the younger ladies, I’m pretty happy about my age and the wisdom it brings. I think for each SugarDaddy who has a preference there is a corresponding SugarBaby, and her age doesn’t necessarily belay her value.
    But that’s my humble opinion :)

  18. MichelleSB says:

    I do agree with everyone…..many thing can put a sugar off, and many potential SD’s as well. I’m still trying to get used to the idea of asking for anything, or accepting it for that matter. Honestly a guy bought me an adorable $16 bracelet 2 weeks ago and I was so ecstatic I’ve not taken it off since.
    I just don’t know how, between getting to know each other over cocktails to find time before dessert to bring up a specific arrangement….dollar amounts, span of time, expectations. It feels like a chemistry killer to me….like a business deal. Any advice from some sweet SD’s?

  19. SuthrnExec says:

    Morning everyone! YO! Stephan – think, we need a fresh new topic!

  20. Jessie says:

    OC SugarBaby! Let us know when the next new thread starts! I’m eager to join the discussion!

  21. Jessie says:

    Lisa, you’ve said that now…what? 3 times. We get it! Nobody’s boasting here! It is what it is! If you hear all your life that you look a lot younger than your age, you start to believe it! Why would that bother you?? You need to chill out! Have yourself a margarita! Put your feet up, run the fan! Newbie or not, I’m going to state the facts AND my opinions! That is what this blog is for, no?

  22. lisa says:

    I’m not into self boasting, it’s ok to feel one looks younger than their years, but it is to left to the opinion of the other person.

  23. OCSugarBaby says:

    Lisa Penelope-Why so upset? No one is being rude to you! Let’s let this rest.

  24. lisa says:

    I’m not even going to argue with you, the newbies on here sure are rude. And I have had quite a bit of success on this site, and haven’t had to lie about anything.

  25. Jessie says:

    LOL Lisa! Ummm.. In case you didn’t remember…We are not 18 years old, so the 3 year difference makes no difference to those of us who are long beyond the drinking age!!

    Who’s overreacting? I already said (twice in fact) that it is expected that people fudge on their profiles. No overreaction there. As far as you stating that you have a “varied schedule” yourself, good for you! As stated (once again), I’ve told my prospective SD’s. Nobody is “completely” honest on these things Lisa…let’s get real here! Now, on to better topics!

  26. lisa says:

    ok I will leave the blog, sorry but I think honesty is important

  27. OCSugarBaby says:

    Lisa-come to the new topic!

  28. lisa says:

    Older sbs that lie about their age.

  29. OCSugarBaby says:

    Jessie-meet me at the current topic. Let’s start some fun on this thing! LOL

  30. lisa says:

    A lie is a lie. 3 years makes alot of difference on many things. An person who is 18 I guess should be allowed to buy alcohol even though the age is 21 because it’s “only a few years”

    My photos are withing the past few months, all at age 43 and I am at the same weight I was back then, I would love it too be 20 lbs ago as I would weigh 85 pounds, that would be great.

    Anyway, if lying works, that’s fine, but don’t overreact when someone tells you a little lie, fair is fair. As far as the amount of time you can commit to a sd, I have a varying schedule myself and indicate that in my profile.

  31. Jessie says:

    OCSugarBaby: LOL, Agreed! Yes, let’s have a new topic! How about.. “What a SB can teach to SD’s about older SB’s” or “Older SB’s …the other, other white meat”!!

  32. Jessie says:

    And Bob? Apology accepted.

  33. OCSugarBaby says:

    Jessie-I am 5ft 5 and a half, I had a very hard time selecting either 5.5 or 5.6!!!! LMAO I didn’t want someone to pull out the measuring stick and call me a liar! Actually, I wear heels all the time so my profile is waaay off base on the height factor! ok, Stephan we need a new topic. I have a great topic in my head. I will email it to you.

  34. Jessie says:

    Lisa: That’s like comparing apples to oranges. Having the deception of someone claiming they make millions but in reality making minimum wage nowhere compares to someone who has shaved 3 years off their age! Especially when they see that the picture posted of them is exactly what they get! Of course I wouldn’t be interested in the first example! And I would have every right to be pissed off! The two scenerios’s don’t even compare! I’ve always remembered older women lying about their age’s…it is almost expected! I still offer what I state I want from my profile!…And everything else is completely accurate. So that can hardly be viewed as deception! And, as I stated before, I have no visions of grandeur that I’m going to have a perfect situation…Everyone should leave room for doubt and inconsistancy. My actions were simply to erase some #’s to better portray the real me…in looks, attitude etc. and not chronologically. And to hopefully put myself in an easier age bracket a little further from closed minded prospects. I highly doubt that if a SD were to meet me and I were to reveal the 3 year difference that he would bat an eye!

    As far as remembering when I graduated, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to adjust it 3 years ahead! Since I had my kids at an average age, why would I need to lie about their ages? Wow! If this is really what makes headlines on this site, surely some people have way too much time on their hands! Perhaps those SD’s aren’t whisking you off to great adventures as much as you would like hmmmm?

    By the way, anybody who posts a photo of themselves that is over a few years old (without stating that fact) or that “less 20 pounds ago..” etc. are themselves “deceptive”. Age is a number…but a picture is worth a 1000 words!

  35. OCSugarBaby says:

    Jessie, this debate is older than dirt. Again, keep walking to your own drummer. It is working for you!

  36. bob says:

    if you disclosed to your pot SD that you wouldn’t likely be accessible as much as you said in your profile then I retract (and apologize for) my harsh response to your post. that was the biggie for me and the way you worded your first post in this thread it seemed as though this wasn’t the case.

    Is my profile perfectly honest? other than tidbits about my life Ive changed for the purpose of discretion, yes it is 100% accurate. And i make it a point to volunteer anything that I’ve taken liberty with as soon as realistically possible (long before an initial get together)

    Sure there is an element of fantasy, but there are certain things that we all need to be honest about

    thats all im sayin.

  37. lisa says:

    Good afternoon everyone

    Jessie, just remember to think about your answers before you say them as with lying about one’s age, you have to adjust when you graduated, had kids, etc or your deception will be revealed. And I personally leave it to others to say whether I look younger than my 43 years, i’m very humble.
    One might say that the sd would not look twice due to age, that might be true, but at the same time a sd might do the same with his income because I felt you might not look twice because he makes minimum wage, deceipt goes both ways and can you honesty say that after meeting someone that claimed to be worth millions and offered 5k a month, when they turned out to be working at bk and living with mommy, you would still be interested? If you were looking for a real sd, I think you might be a little p*ssed off at the deception in the profile.

  38. Jessie says:

    Thank you OC Sugar Baby. And to Bob: There was no deceipt on my part. I mentioned that I would probably not be able to see my SD quite as often as my profile had stated. I’ve already told this to the SD’s that I’ve spoken with…That what I had stated was a “best case scenerio”. It wasn’t a problem for any of them and I still can’t be sure of when my availability will be. Secondly, regarding my shaving off a few years from my profile age, I could have taken 10 years off and it would have been completely believable! I’ve already encountered inconsistancies in some of the guys I’ve spoken with regarding their profiles. I highly doubt that everybody is completely honest in their profile descriptions! Atleast I admitted that I shaved off a few years! Is YOUR profile completely honest Bob?? I highly doubt it! Again, I will tell you just WHY I have done it (and believe me, I AM very proud of my real age). I did it because a lot of men will judge a SB (or any girl for that matter) by her age if he has not yet met her. By doing this, he could very well be missing out on an ideal situation! As OC Sugar Baby stated, This IS a fantasy situation/site afterall! No harm done. I’m going into this with realistic expectations! I don’t expect Brad Pitt and with every good profile out there…I expect that it isn’t nearly as good as I may think! My picture is 2 months current and what they see is what they will get!! I might also add that I find it hard to believe that a SD would ask me to whip out my driver’s license to check on my real age! If he did, I would be out of there! The last thing I want a prospective SD to have is my address and any other pertinant information! So chill out Bob and try not to be so judgemental! Different strokes for different folks!

  39. Equestry Anne says:

    Nitemare SD: You gave me good feedback on the pics on my profile. But you didn’t comment much on the narrative. After participating in this blog, I am wondering if there is a way to “highlight what I can bring to the relationship”. Would you mind pm-ing me with feedback?

  40. bob says:


    I’m afraid that were just going to have to agree to disagree here… I will however take your opinion, wrong as it may be – into consideration 😉

    just please remember though, gruff or not my comments are made with the honest best interest of the sugar community at large in mind.

    You never know – my criticism might keep your next pot best ever SD from getting burned early on in his foray into sugar land and giving up before he has the chance to meet you. If that happens by the way, I’d like 15% of your allowance!

  41. MALE_Sugar_Baby says:

    Does anyone have any idea of how a SB (M) can find a SM?

    Things are tough, folks!!!

  42. OCSugarBaby says:

    Oh Bob…
    Even a lady has her limits. However I can and will hold my own if pushed too far. I think I will sit back and watch you chase all the pretty girls away! I know you don’t want that to happen. So again, I ask with all the sugary sweetness I can muster up… please please stop chasing the pretty girls away. LOL You could always send them a quick note via their profile if you have some helpful response. Some might find the humor instead of the horror; in an email rather than on the blog for all to see that you just called them.. what was that again… oh yea “a c$ck blocker”. I am sure you DO have some positivity somewhere deep down inside that gruff persona. Maybe I will have to take you under my wing to gently point out the error of your ways. 😉 Now I know you can take a little kidding, but remember “two SB’s echoed my comments” All in fun Bob… You can be Santa…

  43. bob says:


    YOU may be a lady, and thats perfectly fine. Should you act like one I will always treat you like a lady.

    However starting a sugar arrangement by deceiving a SD on a pretty big sugar issue such as the amount of time one can provide is a pretty big no no in my book and decidedly UNlady like. IMHO respect is earned, not an inalienable right. If a new sugar comes to the blog and brags about playing fast and loose with her new pot then I’ll call her out on it, and as the blog shows i’m not the only one to do so, two SBs echoed my comments. I don’t do this to be cruel or because I get kicks on putting others down. Look at some of my other posts and you will see that I have gone out of my way to be helpful in responding to questions more often than not.

    That said i think people like jessie need to be taken to task when they do as they claim. Not only to point out the error of their ways to them, but to other SBs or pot SBs who are reading the blog.

  44. lisa says:

    Ok I’m lost here, lol

    I would probably be out of service on the weekends, lol

    I’ve got to do some housework now, be back later

  45. NitemareSD says:

    As reflects your capability to travel and power to generate steam.

  46. lisa says:

    I will be the choo choo train with the square wheels

  47. NitemareSD says:

    We are all misfits needing to be placed. Or placed somewhere else, as the case may be.

  48. lisa says:

    are we placing misfit sds with sbs or misfit sbs with sds?

    who will the sb with the glass eyes, hook hands and wooden legs go to? lol

  49. NitemareSD says:

    Well, the source of the toys, and their odd choice of leadership, is less consequential than their ultimate goal – placement.

    The mythical solution to their situation is interesting when you consider that SA are the first two letters in Santa.

  50. lisa says:

    toys made for the 99 cent only store, lol

  51. NitemareSD says:

    I don’t think it is likely that those toys were made in the north pole. Those elves had high standards, pride, and were quite rigid and exacting in implementing their standards. Non comformist elves were not tolerated.

    Perhaps some rogue elve element splintered off to another part of the polar region – the island seems to have been located in the polar region – and was responsible for the misfits’ creation.

  52. lisa says:

    Look i’m phychic again, answering Nitemare’s post before he posts them

  53. NitemareSD says:

    Suddenly I am thinking about the Island of Misfit Toys.

    A toy is never truly happy until it is loved by a child.

    Rudolf got Santa to come and bring those toys to little boys and girls.

    What was the deal with that lion that ran the place?

    Were those toys all made in China?

  54. lisa says:

    I remember the “Charlie in the box” , lol

    I think the toys are made at the north pole, not sure if that’s in China or not

  55. lisa says:

    I must remember to pick up razor refills tomorrow, darn those things are expensive, lol

    Don’t take too long of a break OC

  56. OCSugarBaby (348915) says:

    Hi Lisa 😉

    Nicely said. Ahhh, I think I need to get out and put the “sunshine” back into OC. Blogging use to help, but maybe I need to take a longer break. Take care Lisa.

  57. NitemareSD says:

    What about the people who haven’t shaven in years? That’s not so good either usually.

  58. NitemareSD says:

    Even if you don’t shave years, your camera does.

  59. lisa says:

    Good afternoon everyone

    First of all Jessie, I would have to disagree on your taking years off your age. I too feel younger than my 43 years but I am not younger and I think that would make it difficult in the sense that you would have to be changing facts about yourself and dates in order to now reveal that you aren’t the age you say.
    But then again maybe the potentials sds you will meet might ” add a few zeros to their net worth and allowance budget, offering 3k and actually giving you 50 dollars, lol but that’s no difference, if you lie about your age, you can’t judge the man who lies about his income, it’s poetic justice maybe. Sorry , I just had a very hectic day at work and need to unwind, lol

    Good afternoon Nitemare
    Hi OC

  60. Happy Lurker says:

    Hi Equestry,
    You did right.
    I totally agree that an SB should be selective.
    But you know all about that, as you breed horses.
    He did right as he came to visit you and took you out to a scrumptious dinner in a place of your choice. And best of all you had an entertaining conversation throughout the evening.
    This is how it should be.
    See her in a pizza joint like the other lady experienced, that is pigs fodder. And she has to pay for her Greyhound ticket.
    Let me consult my dictionary for the expression ” I pamper my SB “.
    It does not even come close, pizza, pigs, greyhound.
    It makes me a less happy lurker to see an SB treated this way.
    On the other hand, you live and learn, that what she did too.

  61. OCSugarBaby (348915) says:

    Jessie-You will do what works best for YOU. Not here to name call or judge. It is a fantasy world, is it not? Chemistry is key. If it is working for you and you obviously mean no harm. Those that choose to harm and mame are the ones we need to steer clear of.

    Equestry Anne- Sounds like you have a lot going for you! That is great.

    Bob-Ok, just remembered why I have stayed away. I can’t speak for everyone so I will not attempt to. I however would like to come on here to feel good about my decision to be an SB. Friendly supportive banter all said with Sugar kindness and true understanding of Sugar ups and downs. But I feel like I am exposing my vulnerabilities to be picked apart. Yes, yes you are just trying to help and if they can’t take it don’t blog. Well I can take it, I just am wondering why I should. I don’t agree with your choice of words. I am a lady and not one to be in the company of others that don’t respect that. But I am one to appreciate individuality and you do have a whole lot of that! I love the diversity we all bring, but please please try to be more supportive

  62. NitemareSD says:

    I think what Eq Anne just said is terrific, and most especially, “You have to go into this focusing on the positive qualities about yourself, and highlight what you can bring to the relationship.”

    This part is essential for long term success and fulfillment.

    So many people don’t offer anything…won’t…so many don’t show that they offer anything. How many actually show what they offer to someone else other than sex or money – if even that? Not so many.

    When I am searching, it is so hard for me to answer the question: ‘Ah, what’s in it for me?’ when I am considering someone. How quickly it must kill relationships – even those that begin – when that is true.

  63. NitemareSD says:

    Some people like maturity very much. Some people like the truth. Some even like both. Some who like the truth sometimes ignore not getting some of it. Some who like maturity sometimes go for some immaturity.

  64. Equestry Anne says:

    Jessie: I have to agree with Bob’s response to you. You are starting out a potential arrangement by lying on several fronts. All over this blog, we sugar babies complain about being lied to and deceived. Whatever your age is, be proud of it. I am 43 years old, AND PROUD. You have to go into this focusing on the positive qualities about yourself, and highlight what you can bring to the relationship. A potential sugar daddy, at least one worth having, will probably be smarter than you and will know if you are lying. Men want women who are real. The world already has enough scam artists and flakes. Don’t be another one.

  65. bob says:


    My negative attitude towards your post wasn’t so much centered around your age, but the fact that you are falsely advertising yourself right off the get go.

    You state in your profile that you will be open for a certain amount of availability even though you already know you likely wont be able to hold to this because of the demands of your family life.

    This is what gives sugar a bad name. I’m sure you wouldn’t be happy if a prospective SD listed an income of a million + when in reality he makes 60k a year on commission.

    If it’s a more mature attitude you want to bring to the table, then start by honestly portraying what you can offer a potential SD.

  66. Equestry Anne says:

    Red Maru, and others:

    I’ve been on this site for two months and met only one potential SD in person because I am very, very selective in my screening process. I’ve corresponded with guys who are looking for cheap thrills, cheap sex, cheap girlfriends, etc. The one true gentleman, and true SD quality man I’ve met in person, flew himself to my town on short notice, took me to lunch at a nice restaraunt of my choice, was a brilliant but warm conversationalist, a complete gentleman the entire meal, and made me feel totally comfortable. He asked to see me again at the end of our date, and has kept in touch via discrete phone and email. He has invited me to fly to his town for a follow up lunch date, and made it clear that he is attracted to me but doesn’t intend to jump into bed right away. This, to me, is what a SD / SB relationship should be – generous courtship.

  67. OCSugarBaby (348915) says:

    Jessie- Solidarity my sugar sista! Not all of us are 20 sum-things… 😉

  68. Bo Peep says:

    RedMaru: I think your gut is giving you your answer. The guy is a cheap skate and I hope you didn’t sleep with him! Just because he reimbursed you for the trip (but it’s your time traveling back and forth), and a pizza (wow! big spender) does not mean squat! He should have paid for the trip out there BEFORE you went there and then given you the $ for your trip back once you met. He should have taken you to a nice restaurant and perhaps given you a little gift to sweeten the deal. Too many women sell themselves short and accept less. He could have traveled to see YOU the first time! Selling ourselves short makes it more difficult for the women who deserve and require more! Remember, he’s looking for something to enhance your life….you/we are probably more concerned (in most cases) to improving our financial situations…as it is still mostly a man’s world and usually more difficult for women in the financial world…especially if we have kids at home to support! Next time, you must be upfront and require a minimum compensation first!! Your time is valuable…!

  69. Jessie says:

    Bob, You are wrong about me in a few ways…I’m 46 but appear about 38 ish. This is why I shaved off several years on my profile. As I’m never going to marry anyone I meet off this site, I hardly think it makes a difference if I reveal my true age. Secondly, my attractiveness would rate at atleast an 8 if not higher. So, $82 would not do it for me….not by a longshot. Just because I’m a little older than most of the SB’s on the site does not mean I don’t have exactly what a SD is looking for! It’s sad that some men automatically consider an older SB not worth the effort! I think a more mature attitude along with an experienced woman by her SD’s side…someone who has more in common with her SD would be something a more adjusted SD would want. Most men aren’t very good at determining a woman’s age. If I want a chance with these guys (and I’m already getting quite a few responses) is to shave off those years! Yep!

  70. lisa says:

    Good afternoon everyone
    Back from grocery shopping. Got lots of nice fruits and goodies. Strawberries, blueberries, a personal watermelon (perfect for those of us who have to drag groceries on the bus), and a ice frappacinno(starbucks has set up shop in many of our grocery stores here).

    I don’t know about fake sds as I have yet to actually meet one but I’ve been contacted by those who don’t sound like sds.

    RedMaru, Dominos?? you should have had some real pizza, the kind that comes in the huge slices. Dominos is ok for everyday and for family get togethers but for sugardates, it should be better than that. lol

  71. Sue says:

    A couple of BAD SD’s out there to be warned about gals!! Gleno from OK… Phony SD!!! Looking for threesome in Vegas….Phony SD!!! Romeo in search of Juliet in Beverly Hills……fake pic, and mean spirited! Be careful…..investigate your potential SD as well as you can… If anyone else knows of any bad SD’s, please let us SB’s know…

  72. RedMaru says:

    Hey lisa Nitemare!
    It was Dominos AMerican Legends philly cheese steak

  73. lisa says:

    Depends on the Pizza, lol was it the coal fired Newyork style super slice or the Dominos 2 for 1 special, lol

  74. NitemareSD says:

    Oh come on Lisa. The guy ordered pizza and he probably even talked to her a little.

  75. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone
    Slept late, had breakfast and am now just keeping cool

    Sorry to hear about that RedMaru, paying just for traveling expenses and especially on a bus, is not a sd/sb relationship

  76. NitemareSD says:

    What could possibly be wrong about what you decided?

  77. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugars been a while since I posted hows everyone.
    I had to cut the flake daddy off and he’s pretty mad about it too. I hope I did the right thing. A little short on the story: I had met him back in Jun claimed $400 – $500, 000 income. After a couple of phone convos, we arranged on a visit. He had a bizzare request: that I pay for a one way Greyhound ticket and he would reimburse and pay for the trip back. His reasoning was that he had been burned and lied to by so many he advanced money. Okay….to take a step in the right direction and show my genuineness I paid for it since he was in the state next door to me. Everything went good first dinner was pizza at his patio house. When I left we discussed the arrangement vaguely with him promising to send me some financial support when he did his books on Wed and definitely on my bday which was the 31st of last month. Two weeks since and Bday came and went still nothing not even a call to say “Happy Bday”. Next time we talked he claimed hospitalization for chest pains I said okay and asked if he was alright provided a listening ear as he talked about the staff in one of his businesses getting on his nerves. He once again promised again to send something. Another week passed and in a text conversation he asked what do you need. When I told him he did a total 360 balking at giving anything then a phone convo he went on a rant about the whole SB/SD arrangement how it was just sex for money, that’s why the women on this site can’t get anybody, etc. Then he talked about he was more about building a friendship and he wasn’t paying no allowance and that he could get sex for free if he wanted(not really). But then asked when are you coming back and of course he’ll do like he did before (I buy it and he reimburses and pays for trip back how gracious) but had to go before I could respond. AFter a series of missed phone calls we talked again and I politely told him that I couldn’t see myself coming back in the near future as I didn’t see how this was benefitting me one being he expected me to use my limited resources which have to pay rent, gas, lights, food, etc. to see him when he wanted me there. He started on another tirade “I reimburse you and pay for your trip back.” as if this should be enough Before it could go any further, I ended the call. He still calls and texts me though.

    Sorry for the long form I know I promised this would be short….

  78. bob says:


    about $82.

    I wasnt meaning to be funny.

    from what you said in your post you have started out your potential arrangement by deceiving your SD. You’ve lied about your age, and you have lied about your availability.

    I’d wager that means your 7 1/2 or 8 is really a 6. Maybe less.

    Do nearly 50 year old 6’s really command more than 50 quid a shag these days?

  79. Jessie says:

    What’s 50 quid American? And Bob…you are NOT funny!

  80. bob says:


    if you are an 8 then your best bet is to say “50 quid a shag guvna”

  81. Jessie says:

    Hi Ya’ll. I’m a BRAND NEW SB and have some…um questions for all you “experienced” SB gals! I just joined and got 3 responses …all from decent sounding guys! One of them I have a “first meeting” dinner date with next week! He is in his mid-50’s (I’m in my late 40’s…but shaved off a few years) and we have already spoken on the telly a couple brief times. He mentioned wanting me to travel to his place after that…. (He’s an hour away). I need to know the dialogue of what to say when he asks what I require/need. I have a figure in mind (cash or check) but find it hard to find the words to bring it up. Is it bad to require a fee at each date? The reason I ask is because I don’t know how often I will be able to see him! Probably less than my profile stated…I’m pretty busy with my 3 younger kids. I’m probably a 7 1/2 or almost an 8 on the attractive scale. Thanx for any advice!!


  82. Dream says:

    Nitemare, I am excellent with an iron. Though mine isn’t very nice. So if you want me to iron for you, you will need to supply the iron. Also I only have one of those tiny ironing boards, so if you have one of the stand up ones that would be fabulous. :-)

  83. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone

    Lol Sweetredhead are you going to take curtain number 1 or curtain number 2? I bed he expects what is behind curtain number 1 to be included in the 200 dollar curtain number 2, lol

    Good morning Nitemare, hope you get the door unlocked

    Off to work now

  84. NitemareSD says:

    I’ve got real problems to deal with here. I come home from a perfectly nice evening out and I am locked out of my bedroom.

  85. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I think we both have way to much time on our hands lmao

  86. NitemareSD says:

    1. I remember when McD advertised change back from your dollar.

    2. But it is so much extra work to locate a woman that doesn’t insist on charging by the hour.

    4. I only use the 2 door car with my dates. The 4 door is reserved for other use.

    5. Don’t really like that cuisine.

    6. But the 99cent store is another 49cents in gas to get to at today’s prices.

  87. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    hahah NitemareSD. I am not over it yet. I keep getting more reposes from men who have no clue. Please tell me there are real SD’s out there and restore my faith.

  88. NitemareSD says:

    Ok. Read the vent. Now tell everything about you in bed and what the prices are.

  89. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Here are a few clues for you that you should not be here:
    1.) If your idea of a romantic dinner is ordering off the dollar menu at McDonald’s you are not a SD
    2.) If you are looking for a good time and want to pay by the hour, you are not a SD
    3.) if you think that a SD is a Carmel lollie pop you are not a SD
    4.) if your onyl car has 2 doors and a truck bed and parked in from of a trailer park, you are not a SD
    5.) If you like to go dutch when taking me out for an evening, you are not a SD
    6.) if your idea of a shopping trip is to the dollar store, you are not a SD
    I think you get the idea :)

  90. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I need to vent a little……..Tell me when some of these men are going to get a clue!! I was just offered $40 for a BJ and $200 for sex. WTF is that. I am not a hooker nor an escort. Some of these men have no clue what a sugar daddy relationship is.

    Let me be the first to tell you men. You want sugar from me then you need to be a gentleman first. Have a personality and a sence of humor and most of all have a clue! You want to find out what I can do for you in bed then treat me like a lady outside it. Because I am a lady. I have no problem telling you what I enjoy in the bedroom but don’t make it all about that and I will not make it all about the money because it’s not!
    Ok done venting back to our reg scheduled blog :)

  91. Kelea says:

    I’m not sure how I missed your response to my first post earlier, but I wanted to say thanks for the advice. It does help a lot.

    How is everyone else tonight?


  92. RedMaru says:

    Wait don’t go lisa!!

  93. lisa says:

    Looks like no one is here, I think I will got to bed early :( Good night

  94. lisa says:

    Hi I’m here bored and lonely

  95. RedMaru says:

    hey silly and everybody else if you are still here.

  96. Silly in Toronto #330786 says:

    Nitemare, LOL.. true.. well, he hasn’t said he’s leaving her ! and I wouldn’t want him to ! have to give up half his fortune and then pay her alimony ?

    yeah, I’ll keep you posted, should he say that.. although I highly doubt it.. I’ve seen When Harry Met Sally and I know that they never actually DO leave their wives for their mistress’

  97. lisa says:

    I like my job too, it’s self paced, I work on my own and no stress.
    My supervisor changed to a different store though :(

  98. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I love my job, thanks for asking :) It’s fast paced and very busy which I like. The stories I could tell you about stupid people though lmao

  99. lisa says:

    Hi Nitemare, Bob, Sweetredhead Just finished doing some housework but still tired from work. How’s your job going Sweetredhead?

  100. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Ok what I miss here? I am so lost. Teach me to be away from the blog for months!

  101. NitemareSD says:

    I am not sure what alphabet they use. Honestly everything I know about Canada I learned by watching South Park.

  102. bob says:

    are canadian SBs metric?

  103. NitemareSD says:

    Sillys says:

    August 7, 2009 at 10:19 pm

    ok, so I think I’m in trouble, lol

    I think I’m falling in love with my SD and he’s married. He says he feels the same about me… anyone ever had this before?


    Silly, I am not familiar with the Canadian system, but here in the states, the woman typically lets the man tell her for 3-7 years that he is going to leave is wife, and then decides to believe he is never going to leave her.

    If you make it that far, I’ll let you know what typically happens next.

  104. lisa says:

    that’s weird my response posted before the post I was responding too

  105. bob says:

    this blog needs a chat room!

  106. bob says:

    to lunch!

  107. lisa says:

    Darn I already had lunch
    Going to take a nap now

  108. lisa says:

    Where’d everyone go??

  109. lisa says:

    I just got here a few minutes ago

  110. RedMaru says:

    Wow apparently I missed alot!! That’ll teach me to step away

  111. NitemareSD says:

    One thing is for sure: Truth came in ugly and got old the first time it posted.

  112. lisa says:

    It’s just a blog, gee I’ve been verbally attacked on here many times in the past. Called trashy by someone on here whom had a married sugardaddy but thought I was bad for having a married lover. Gee you get a bunch of women in a room and they claw each other, lol

  113. RedMaru says:

    What happened when I was away?

  114. lisa says:

    Truth I really don’t have alot of respect for those who are fat, I live in Texas and obesity is ridiculous, and I see little children that weigh more than I do, it’s sick. Old we can’t help, we all get there but fat can be treated. My aunt weighed 300 lbs and ate nonstop, she got serious about her life and started eating right and got some exercise, got down to about 130 and lived to be 84. I live in a hispanic comunity and deal daily with being called a “bolia” or “whetta” both slurs agaist white woman, but it’s not something I can change and I don’t spend alot of time worrying about it.

  115. lisa says:

    Jackson, hit DELETE immediatly, he’s not a sugardaddy, he’s either some who gets off online talking about sex (probably lives in mommy’s basement) or some guy looking for a hooker.

  116. jackson says:

    hey guys just got myself up and running here, just wanted to ask a quick question, if a sd says he is interested in you but the first time he emails you hes asking about your sexual encounters and what stuff turns you on ect…..is that normal, help please ll………jackson

  117. lisa says:

    Hello Truth, not sure who you are, why so negative?

  118. vixen says:

    LMAO sweetred

  119. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    There are other sites??? NO WAY!!

  120. vixen says:

    I thought we’d all come to the realization that Karen works for one of the competing SD sites and was just trying to scare away future members. I’m guessing she’s an SD4Me agent

  121. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    NitemareSD I am thinking you have WAY to much time on your hands. LMAO

  122. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Just for the record I have met some “real” SD’s from this site. And very genuine and real people. I have made friendships and have had a really great time. Have you ever considered it just may be something in yourself that you are not meeting the right people?

  123. Yummy Nutella says:

    Hi everyone!

  124. vixen says:

    What bothers me is that you’ve already proven once to him that you’re genuine by paying your own way the first time. Why would he expect you to do it again? And for you to have come that far just for pizza, first date or not, sounds insulting to me. I’d say you just ask him what he’s comfortable with before paying your way for a second meet again.

  125. RedMaru says:

    Hey vixen…
    I’m starting to wonder if he is as he didn’t even attempt to negotiate

  126. vixen says:

    RedMaru, Are you confident this Pot SD of yours is genuine? Did he at least try to negotiate with you as to what allowance he was comfortable paying?

  127. RedMaru says:

    Where did Karen’s posts go?

  128. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    HI RedMaru :)
    Bob Old, fat and ugly people need lovin too :(

  129. vixen says:

    i’m guessing cocernedSB and Karen may have been the same person? Interesting the posts got deleted tho

  130. RedMaru says:

    Hey sweetredhead! Long time no see

  131. sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Wow You leave the blog for awhile and come back and….All I can say is wow. Karen Raymond yes there are some not to lidgit people on this site as with anywhere else. But there are some of us who are real. you have to search and be open minded. Weed through the fakes and be honest and up front and know what you are looking for. If you can’t do that then move on :)

  132. ConcernedSB says:

    ychat=yahoo chat, i mean.
    This is a serious post.
    vixen or nitemare, you seem to be online right now. if you have ychat please get in touch with me. But anyone else who knows what they are talking about should write.
    thanks! :'(

  133. NitemareSD says:

    Come on Concerned – its Saturday. Can’t this wait ’til Monday?

  134. NitemareSD says:

    I’ve have been doing the research and I know that there are 3 guys and 37 women on this site that are not fake. Moreover those guys are really rich and those women either are really good (and easy) lays or make great pancakes (one does both.) So if they ever find out this site is a fake (except for their naive participation) it will ruin everything.

  135. vixen says:

    Hey Karen,
    As a writer I’m sure you’ve done enough research on this site to know very well that its real. If you are interested in people’s experiences, I highly recommend the blog archives.

  136. NitemareSD says:

    You’ve been doing important work for the CIA too, but I know you can’t say.

  137. NitemareSD says:

    Having not received a message from you, I can confidently say you picked the wrong 30. I am fascinated how 48 hrs managed to pass since yesterday.

    Red it does not sound like there is a lot in this arrangement, but it doesn’t sound like you have anything to lose by developing it a little further.

    Go meet him again.

  138. RedMaru says:

    I’m guessing that he feels I should be satisfied with being reimbursed for tranportation oh and dinner (first meeting) which was a Dominos American LEgends pizza which he graciously paid for

  139. RedMaru says:

    Hey Nitemare!!
    That’s all he gave was transportation reimbursement

  140. NitemareSD says:

    What did he give you so far (beyond transport reimb)

  141. NitemareSD says:

    He is asking for too much at this point if he wants you to front transport after a first meeting.

    How much does he think you want him to give you after the first date?

  142. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugar family!
    Hows everyone today? I need some help again…sorry
    For those of you that remember I had my first sugar date and he seems legit and we clicked. I contacted him on the financial aspect and got the question well what do you need? Taking advice I was straightforward and told him. I named a midpoint in the range I featured on my profile. He pretty much balked at it “after one date?” he said. now seems to have developed amnesia on the subject and on the promise to send me something for my bday which was the 31st. But remembers the convo we had a week ago about me coming to visit him again this Sat. I have pretty scrapped that as he’s in the state next door to me(also to show I was genuine I handled transporting myself there and was reimbursed by him which he expects me to do again) and let him know although he hasn’t responded. Was I wrong to do so. Is it just me. Please help me again sugar family and SD’s please chime in with our thoughts.

  143. bob says:


    doesnt sound like bull to me.

    *you* may say you arent an escort, but that doesnt matter one darn bit. lets face reality here, if a man is paying cash to a woman he finds on this web site, MOST people would probably be of the opinion that the woman is an escort. perception is everything in some circles.

    it’s not unheard of for employers in certain high profile positions to take an overly intrusive interest in an employees private life.

    also, don’t forget that while he may not be disclosing these cash payments to his employer, to be blunt IF the situation is legit he has to TRUST that you wouldn’t either. It’s a sad reality that to put it as politely as possible – not everyone on this site has the most honest of intentions. If being precived to be seeing an escort would get him into trouble by handing over cash to you he would get himself int he position where you have him by the short and curlies. by just spoiling you instead he has the defense of saying he just met this woman on line and went out to have a good time with her.

    finally, if the story is bunk maybe he just doesn’t want to FEEL like he is seeing an escort.

  144. NitemareSD says:

    What happend to a simpler time when being ‘in trouble’ only meant you were pregnant?

  145. Sillys says:

    ok, so I think I’m in trouble, lol
    I think I’m falling in love with my SD and he’s married. He says he feels the same about me… anyone ever had this before?

  146. lisa says:

    I have my profile in suspend mode on sd4me as all I get is game players. I get 0 on SA whereas I was getting lots of messages on the other site but they were all time wasters and are still online everytime I check the site. I did meet a sd on there 2 weeks after joining but it only lasted a few weeks. He was a generous but never seemed to want to drive over to see me. He completely disappeared after the last time we met and has deleted his profile. Too many non paying members on that site too it seems.

    I would think it wouldnt’ matter if your potential was using the atm, what he used the money for where as if he was buying those gifts with his card, that would be more obvious by what he was buying. And I agree cash can be more useful than gifts.

  147. Brooke says:

    I agree. I had to laugh when he said that he could do gifts/travel but not straight cash. Sooo.. what would be the difference if he hit up the ATM to buy me some perfume and a handbag, or, put the cash in an envelope/giftbag at our dinner table?

    He did say that he is new to the SD/SB thing, I’m guessing he just doesn’t understand it. Even if he wasn’t pulling a line of bs, there is nothing wrong with having just gifts and travel, but for me at this point, that isn’t what i’m looking for.

    Next…. 😉

    ps Lisa I joined sd4me, was curious how it compared…I notice that there seems to be alot more traffic on that one, atleast in my area…but I MUCH prefer SA…and of course the blog!

  148. lisa says:

    Brooke that sounds like a line of bull. Why would he be revealing his personal life to his employer? I would think what he does in his free time, as long as it’s not illegal, would be his own business. Codes of conduct are usually for the purpose of not bringing embarrasment or conflict to a company, not for what a person does in their private life.
    He might not be able to pose nude in a magazine featuring business professionals or whatever, but who he chosed to see in his personal time should have no influence on the company.

  149. Brooke says:

    Hello all…haven’t posted in a while…just been lurkin…(Nitemare, oh how I enjoy your sarcasm)

    So, I’ve been corresponding a bit with a pot and after telling him what I am looking for, he responds that he cannot give an “allowance” ie “cash for dating” per his code of conduct that he has signed with his company.

    It is just me or is this a line of bs? I mean, while I’m sure that if he has a high profile position that his company would prefer that he doesn’t indulge in escorts, but I am not an escort, and made that clear. Even if I was, or that was something he was looking for – It’s called a personal checking account – and there is no reason for his personal rendezvous to be known by anyone. He even added that he is “allowed” to buy gifts or pay for travel….but cannot give an allowance. “Allowed” ???

    Opinions, please :)

  150. lisa says:

    Have a good evening Jasmine

  151. lisa says:

    Jasmine i’m so tired I don’t think a case would get me hyper, lol

    Nitemare, maybe I could find one with a built in back pack and put a block of ice in it, lol

    Lookin like rain here, sure hope it pours

  152. Jasmine says:

    hey everyone i must leave,i will talk to everyone later,nitmare behave

  153. NitemareSD says:

    Lisa: I saw a cute coat at the mall I wanted but it will be forever before I would get to wear it


    Have ’em put it on ice for ya, dear.

  154. Jasmine says:

    wow,ur really going to be hyper in a couple of minutes :)

  155. lisa says:

    i’m now opening my 3rd coke

  156. lisa says:

    Well my boss has went to another store and my best friend is missing in action. My family is living next to the mall about 6 blocks from me. They are so close yet so far. This would be a good opportunity for me to see them more since we could meet down at the mall but things are moving slow.

  157. Jasmine says:

    dont worry,they will come around just give it time

  158. lisa says:

    I’m about to fall asleep from being out in the heat. Plus i’ve started taking some vitamins and st johns wort which is supposed to put you in a good mood, i’m still missing my family and best friend and my boss.

  159. Jasmine says:

    lisa slow down on the cokes,before you go hyperactive like my 2 kids :)

  160. lisa says:

    last time Houston had a 90 day heat day must have been back in May. Now it feels like 108 everyday. I’m downing one coke after the other and i’m in ac. lol I saw a cute coat at the mall I wanted but it will be forever before I would get to wear it :(

  161. Jasmine says:

    last time chicago had a 90 day heat and that was back in june

  162. Jasmine says:

    actually lisa we are about to get steaming heat in the next 2 days,both are going to be in the 90’s :) yayayyyyyyy!!!! finally some heat

  163. lisa says:

    Hi Jasmine, sending you some steaming heat from Texas. Just got back from the mall and grocery, heat exhausted now.

  164. Jasmine says:

    good afternoon everyone,groggy day here in chicago,but in high spirits here :)

  165. christina says:

    Bob! If you are out there. How can I be over analylizing anything when I am looking for others perspective??? If I had any analyzation I wouldbn’t be asking you people. Like I said I share just to see if you guys see anything I don’t. Cause from the last guy I was talking to it seemed you guys knew what was up before I did.

  166. christina says:

    I love how there is people calling Roy “poor Roy” lol!!! So funny.

  167. NYC SB says:

    Yes – just wrote back :)

  168. Yummy Nutella says:

    Hi Miss NYC–did you get my mail?

  169. NYC SB says:

    Kelea – best of luck with the pot :)

  170. NitemareSD says:

    Just ironed my own shirt.

    Bad news for the sugar economy.

    Worse news for East Egg society in general.

  171. lisa says:


    gotta get to the bus stop now as I need some coffee to wake me up, but I will stay in the mall awhile so I won’t overheat, lol
    Have a good day everyone

  172. NitemareSD says:

    People would try to use it on the bed sheets while the bed is made and the company would be sued out of existence.

  173. lisa says:


    Good morning Nitemare I think they should invent an iron that works itself like that rumba vacuum cleaner thing

  174. NitemareSD says:

    Well, Lisa, I guess I better find someone before October then.

  175. Kelea says:

    ~NYC SB
    Thank you so much for your help, I really appreciate it. I know all the questions probably sound a little bit stupid but thanks for taking the time to answer. I did respond to the one pot SD I was interested in, asked for a pic told him I was still a little new and wanted to know a little bit more about him and what type of arrangement he would be interested in. Keep your fingers crossed for me, I’m kinda excited and hoping for the best.
    I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. If that’s something thats important to you in an SB, then by all means it should be included in some of what you would expect/want from your SB. That being said, I would consider it a little off putting if someone wanted me to pass an ironing audition before we could go any further. Just my opinion, but maybe I’m wrong.
    I do however consider it extremely sexy to be able to do something personal like that for the man/SD in my life and have quite enjoyed doing it for past bf’s. I would recommend that not passing your ironing test not be the deal breaker for you, I would think that if the connection and other elements are there any SB would be more than happy to learn as a special request from someone special. Again, just my opinion.


  176. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone
    Just woke up
    Ironing, not one of my strong points, lol
    off to the shower

  177. NYC SB says:

    Kelea – Let me try and tackle your answers :)

    Should I be more specific and detailed as to what type of relationship/agreement I’m looking for? – Having read your profile I think it is specific enough… you can always fine tune and explain further if the SD needs this when you talk over email or in person.

    Is it normal for SB”s to be in a relationship with more than one SD’s or have a bf at the same time? – nothing is normal about this site :) as some SDs are attached it is not unusual for SBs to be attached as well. However, ultimately it comes down to whether or not the SD is ok with non exclusivity

    If you are wanting to only have the one SD that you’re happy with, is that acceptable? – Yes thats perfectly ok… you dont want to juggle to many ummm balls in the air… some girls have more than one SD but more often than not an SD will not be ok with you having another SD because then he feels like he has to compete for your time.

    Obviously I, like most other SB’s on here do not want to start or jump in to the sexual part of the relationship quickly, so is that also acceptable?
    Do most SD’s want/expect sexual favors from the start or will I be able to work up to that, if it happens. – These relationships tend to lead to sex quickly unlike traditional dating… at the end of the day you need to be comfortable being intimate with your SD.

    He asked “how do you proceed when somebody contacts you?” so I’m curious as to what would be the best response to this? – well if you have interest in talking with him then ask for a picture if he doesnt have one up already… ask what kind of an arrangement he is looking for etc. keep it short and sweet :)

  178. NYC SB says:

    Meredith – its always tricky with first time SDs especially if they are married. I would give him his space for a week or so and then reach out to see what his thoughts are… alternatively you could propose to maintain the web cam relationship as it seems like he was ok with that

    best of luck

  179. NitemareSD says:

    If someone doesn’t iron soon, I will be naked.

  180. don’t be silly Bella, loads of chemistry is needed for ironing.

    I myself adore ironing, but not everyone likes to watch you iron naked (risk of getting burned) and not everyone likes to come distract you from large loads of ironing every now and then with a bit of petting and pawing. Some men just want you to iron and then go home. To them I say, pfft.

  181. NitemareSD says:

    BellamatureSB says:
    August 7, 2009 at 8:51 am
    NitemareSD says:
    August 7, 2009 at 12:02 am

    “More Deal Breakers:
    Girls that are too old, too fat or too ugly to be SBs.”

    Hey NitemareSD…There are many individual preferences and personal deal breakers out there. If you don’t like the age, size or looks of a SB then simply move on, don’t say they can’t be a SB because they don’t meet your personal ideal. One person’s sugar can be another’s lemon. We all have personal dealbreakers…this doesn’t mean those outside our preference shouldn’t be SBs, or SDs for that matter.


    I haven’t told someone they were too… (well maybe once they were too much of a bitch or something) but there are lots of people that could use some blunt advice about who they really are and save themselves a lot of trouble spinning their wheels. So what is a person to do?


    The ironing-escort business model: would that be per garment or per hour? A combination of both? More complex or unusual garments would be charged extra, or would the extra time to do them compensate sufficiently?

  182. It’s not so much a deal breaker as an issue. How do you deal with a guy who’s having his first SB experience with you and is married? How do you help him avoid the guilt trip after you end up doing sexual things and how do you gauge up front the likelihood of a guilt trip occuring?

    My pot SD and I talked for months online because it was a while before I could get up to where he lives (I have a good friend there who I visit every few months). We e-mailed regularly as well and really got along. Once we knew we got along I would go on cam for him and we would masturbate together and I would take sexy pictures almost daily and e-mail them. He said his wife wasn’t interested in even vanilla sex let along some of the more adventurous stuff he wanted.

    All through it he was a perfect SD. After we met he said he was feeling guilty and needed some time. Then he e-mailed and asked how I felt about him and the things we did and seemed more willing to get back in the game. Should I give him all the space he wants/needs and let him come back on his own schedule or should I send him some teasing pictures (I wanted to sent pictures of something I bought with the shopping money he gave me). I’m worried it might drive him farther away, but then again we are extremely sexually compatible (at least online) and he said he’d been much happier overall since we’d met.

    What’s a girl to do??

  183. BellamatureSB says:

    NitemareSD says:
    August 7, 2009 at 12:02 am

    “More Deal Breakers:
    Girls that are too old, too fat or too ugly to be SBs.”

    Hey NitemareSD…There are many individual preferences and personal deal breakers out there. If you don’t like the age, size or looks of a SB then simply move on, don’t say they can’t be a SB because they don’t meet your personal ideal. One person’s sugar can be another’s lemon. We all have personal dealbreakers…this doesn’t mean those outside our preference shouldn’t be SBs, or SDs for that matter.
    For me a dealbreaker would be having a private conversation publicly shared word for word as Roy’s has been.
    But ironing…ha ha…that can be paid for just like an escort, no chemistry needed surely.

  184. NitemareSD says:

    I really want someone that can iron. It doesn’t have to be on the first date/meet, but I wouldn’t mind spoiling for that. I would however like to bring a test garment before I commit or shell out anything.

    Am I being unfair or too demanding? What would be the best way/time to bring up the subject? Initial email, first phone call, first meet? Should I be more specific in my profile?

    There really is nothing like a well ironed shirt or pair of pants, nor the feeling of knowing that when one comes out of the dryer, someone will be there to take proper care of it.

  185. bob says:


    The only rule is that there is no rule.

    Give as much information up front in both your profile (and I see you have) and in your messages to prospects. you dont have to write a novel, but there needs to be some substance. A SB can have the looks to rival the current miss universe, and be able to tie a cherry stem into a sheep shank knot with her tongue AND be one part of a set of identical triplets that all want to get in on the action – and i wouldn’t bother responding back if I got a ‘neat profile’ or ‘interested?’ mail from her.

    want one guy, say so. dont mind the sexual side of stuff, say so. just be open with your prospective SD and things will go much easier.

    there is no can and can nots. there is someone out there looking for just about anything. it’s your job to find that person.

  186. Kelea says:

    Btw Profile Number 358911
    Sorry about that! 😀


  187. Kelea says:

    Hello All,

    First off, I want to say thank you for all the interesting topics advice and discussions on here. I just joined this site a few days ago after being recommended by a friend and to be honest wasn’t 100% sure as to what to expect. Everything on here is really helpful to us new SB’s and it’s also good to know that I’m not the only one here that felt a little lost and unsure at the beginning.
    First, I had noticed that several other newbies such as myself had posted on here asking the others to possibly check out their profiles just to make sure it was ok. NC Gent, Lisa and SF SD seem to have been particularly sweet and willing to do this. I would most defintely appreciate it and constructive criticism they or anyone else (especially those of you that have been doing this awhile) could give me to help get me started out on the right foot. Also, should I be more specific and detailed as to what type of relationship/agreement I’m looking for?
    Is it normal for SB”s to be in a relationship with more than one SD’s or have a bf at the same time, I saw that on someones profile as I was looking over a few and I was a little confused by it. If you are wanting to only have the one SD that you’re happy with, is that acceptable? I would much more like to have one steady person to spend time with and get to know so I guess I’m asking is that looked on as good or bad?
    Obviously I, like most other SB’s on here do not want to start or jump in to the sexual part of the relationship quickly, so is that also acceptable? Do most SD’s want/expect sexual favors from the start or will I be able to work up to that, if it happens. I have no objection to it happening if that’s what I feel is right at the time but I want to make sure its not #1 focus from the get go. It is my thoughts that the relationship should be more focused on the quality time together and building the connection to satisfy both our needs. I’m not looking to be an escort, so I hope I have the right impression.
    I have already gotten several messages from potential SD’s (quite pleased about that to be honest :-) but only one so far that interests me and seems to fit what I’m looking for. He asked “how do you proceed when somebody contacts you?” so I’m curious as to what would be the best response to this? Honestly, I’m not sure how much I should go into in the first message.
    I think I’ve rambled and questioned everyone enough for now, lol so I’ll stop. I’m sorry for all the questions and I hope someone can help.
    I look forward to chatting here with everyone, it seems the people here are close and enjoy the conversation.
    Thanks in advance for any help and sorry for being so long of a comment!


  188. bob says:

    *** “Roy: Well, it dosn’t have to be, but I’m not going to give any allowance to just meet for drinks.” <—NOTE: Implicit expectation of sex in exchange for moola, right here in this sentence…

    Sounds like a Sleazy Mc. Sleaze of the Sleazes to me…

    from the FAQ of sa:
    Sugar Daddy: n. Slang. A wealthy, usually older man who gives expensive gifts to a young person in return for intimacy or companionship.

    did this web site get changed to http://www.guys who give away money with no expectations what so ever dot com while i was away?

    at least the dude was upfront about what he was looking for.

  189. bob says:

    christina, you do realize that you can quite possibly be overanlyizing this, right?

    is this the guy that you talked about IMing and texting from the end of last week?

  190. vixen says:

    Christina what are you looking for in an SD?

  191. christina says:

    Wooow…so basically all the girls are saying…red flags don’t do it and all the guys are saying whoa….work it out, he seems like an okay dude? Hahah! I just want perspective so I know before hand what to do. The reason why I ask these things is because I’m thinking that maybe some one sees something I don’t.

  192. Well i was suppose to meet someone off this site, chatted for a while and then all of a sudden he didnt want to talk any more i guess. But its all cool. But i have meet a great SD before and he discussed all the expectations and obligations at the beginning of the date and it went well. I hope to meet someone here on this site one day if there is really a wonderful SD that lives up to his standards. Anyone interested check me out and email me

  193. chocolatedelight says:

    Well i was suppose to meet someone off this site, chatted for a while and then all of a sudden he didnt want to talk any more i guess. But its all cool. But i have meet a great SD before and he discussed all the expectations and obligations at the beginning of the date and it went well. I hope to meet someone here on this site one day if there is really a wonderful SD that lives up to his standards.

  194. Yummy Nutella says:

    Hi Bob, I concur with your statement that a prospective sugar should ultimately trust his or her gut when assessing an arrangement situation. Each situation is unique and a distant observer’s views on it will inevitably be subjective. However, sometimes it is helpful to seek an outside opinion. Perhaps there are red flags the outsider detects that an inquiring sugar may not see…
    But I digress…TGIF everyone! And yay for the confirmation of Sotomayor! : )

  195. Jasmine says:

    okey lol nitmare you always have something interesting to say,thats a good thing :)

  196. NitemareSD says:

    You missed a big sale on SDs the other day. 60% off.

  197. Jasmine says:

    hello everyone coming out of lurker mode here,what did i miss?

  198. NitemareSD says:


    I don’t see arrangements as complicated. I see people feeling even the uncomplicated is too much for them.

    Hestitation instead maybe? You either do it or you don’t. That’s not complex. You either clearly understand that you want to do this and know what you what you will accept out of it, and then you are a real sugar player, or you don’t and your either a rookie, a developing sugar player, on the fringe, a time waster, scatter brained or some other thing of those natures.

  199. NitemareSD says:

    More Deal Breakers:

    Girls that are too old, too fat or too ugly to be SBs.

    Any girl that does not realistically set her expectations in tune with what she has to offer.

  200. NitemareSD says:

    More Deal Breakers:

    Girls that charge for ‘getting to know you time.’

    Girls that expect outsized gifts before deciding to commit to a full relationship.

    Girls that demand ‘prove it’ money be sent prior to meeting.

  201. NitemareSD says:

    Deal Breakers:

    People who respond two weeks later to email with the answer, ‘uhh…where is [insert place you live]?’

    People who text ‘hey can we talk now?’ but don’t answer when you call back shortly thereafter and text two days later ‘hey, call me sometime’

  202. NitemareSD says:

    Bob, just a lot of trash talk going on. God help poor Roy.

  203. bob says:

    am i the only person thinking that maybe newbies here are doing themselves a favor by asking for a lot of advice?

    I mean were all adults here, yes? we have all dated before, we have all interacted with other people on a personal level before.

    do what *YOU* think is right and are comfortable with. go with your instincts, in all likely hood you know the situation a lot better than anyone who you might ask advice of…

    for the big general questions like ‘whats the best way to bring up the allowance bit’ – if you dont know, fine come here. but when it comes to ‘what do you think of guy xxx’ i question how much worth there is to be found in asking for others opinions.

  204. new sb says:

    Hi everyone,

    I am a new SB and have had two strange experiences…Of the two pot SDs I have met, both have said that having met me, they would be into a real relationship with strings! the first one said same deal with compensation and the second one seemed to not want to do what he had originally said by email now that he wanted to date me. When I got upset, he then said we could revert to the original agreement. He seems like just a sweet, lonely guy who is genuine (lovely dinner and $200 or so for cabs and such). This is all very perplexing.

  205. Liebchen says:

    Ha, you probably weren’t Prozac’d up enough for them. Their website is much better anyway, and then you don’t have to deal the Stepford clerks. lol

  206. lisa says:

    I once applied there but they didn’t call me but they hire guys, lol

  207. Liebchen says:

    Hi Lisa. Yeah I always feel a little weird there anyway, the sales people are like vultures, they scare me a little, lol.

  208. lisa says:

    Yes that’s too personal on the first meeting, well maybe not at the Vs at the mall near me. It’s full of women pushing baby carriages and kids running around, not exactly sexy, lol and guys work at the one near me, one wanted to help me find matching bras the last time I went in there, creepy, lol

  209. Liebchen says:

    Hi sugars! Hope you are all doing well. Hi NYC :)

    Farm Girl, I have been told I’m too old more than once. Actually one guy said I was ancient. I’ve also been told that I’m too smart and that I might not be that pretty. It really bugged me at first, but everyone has their own taste, and some people just don’t know how to be polite about it.

    Also, Christina, I have never had any guy take me shopping at VS that didn’t want me to model what we bought pretty soon after… I guess these were BFs not SDs, but still…I would feel totally weird shopping there with someone I just met. Anyway, looks like you’ve pretty much figured out his motives already…

  210. Farm Girl says:

    Thanks NC Gent. You have confirmed what I thought. :)

  211. YummyNutella says:

    NYC–you have mail 😉

  212. NYC SB says:

    Hi Miss Nutella – get my email?

  213. NYC SB says:

    Also… you didnt ask him for an allowance … just to meet him… allowance comes through when you both agree to an arrangement and all the finer details of it :)

  214. YummyNutella says:

    *Coming out of severe lurk mode for a hot minute*…

    Just as NYC SB predicted (hi again! btw :o) , Christina- this dude is looking for an escort. The proof is in your IM exchange. I’m not sure how much more of a sign you need…

    “Roy: Well, it dosn’t have to be, but I’m not going to give any allowance to just meet for drinks.” <—NOTE: Implicit expectation of sex in exchange for moola, right here in this sentence…

    Sounds like a Sleazy Mc. Sleaze of the Sleazes to me…

  215. christina says:

    indasun25: I get advice about you because some times I think you are looking for an escort
    indasun25: But some times you seem like a really nice guy and a respectable gentle man
    Roy: I’m looking for someone that I can get away with. Go out on the town and ahve a lot of fun then come back to the hotel room for fun.
    indasun25: I have to watch my back with you huh
    Roy: Thats pretty much what I am looking for.
    indasun25: Yeah, that’s all fine and dandy but does it have to happen that night?
    Roy: thats what I am looking for.
    indasun25: A one night stand?
    Roy: No, an NSA relationship. I’m looking for someone that I can meet up with whenever I am in Seattle.
    indasun25: So, does it have to happen that night though??? The first night
    indasun25: Roy! Don’t be shy…tell me the truth
    Roy: Well, it dosn’t have to be, but I’m not going to give any allowance to just meet for drinks.
    Last message received on 8/6/2009 at 2:16 PM
    indasun25: Well, usually when someone is given money for as many times they meet with someone…that usually means they are an escort lol

  216. NYC SB says:

    Lisa said it better than I did – also just bc he thinks he has had an SB before doesnt really mean that he has had a true SB because he paid a couple of bills… so lets just go through a scenario or 2… the name of the game is “SB or an escort”

    Scenario A: He meets her for a drink and they enter an arrangement for xxx amount in bill paying. After that initial meeting he meets her at a hotel they have adult fun and he writes a check.

    Scenario B: He meets her for a drink and they enter an arrangement for xxx amount in bill paying. After the initial meeting they get to know each other and when they meet there is always dinner or such activity before the adult fun. Some nights they skip the adult fun for another activity. Her allowance is not based on how often she sleeps with him.

    Im sure you get the idea… all i am saying is do not feel compelled to do anything just bc he took you shopping…

  217. christina says:

    Aahh!! I’m talking to him right now haha…I told him that I have a feeling that I’ll like him and when he leaves I’ll be sad. He said we will have a good time….

    Damn, Tricker, escorting, hookering…..so much to be careful about haha….

    I’m gonna be blunt though and bring it up…he seems to take it pretty well.

  218. lisa says:

    just be careful that he doesn’t think that if you do like him and let him take you shopping, that you will do anything else. He might mean that when he says “if you don’t like me, you can leave” sounds like he’s saying you can leave without the shopping. Many people will change what they say to accommodate you but then they will go right back to their orignal plan once they think they have you. Don’t let him trick you.

  219. christina says:

    Haha!! Well, I have said that to him before I was like you are looking for an escort. He’s like no I”m looking for a SB. I said will if you have then you know that I wouldn’t have to do shit with you to get anything…and he was like I’ve had them before so I know how it goes. He says he’s paid girls bills and stuff and when it was time to meet they disappear. He said all you have to do is meet me if you don’t like me then you leave, that simple. He’s said a couple of times before as we’ve talked during the past that he wants some one that he is compatible with in the bedroom and out of the bedroom….so, I don’t know…he seems nice though…we’ll be talking for about two months before he is able to come out here. Would really suck if he turned out to be a dip sh** lol!

  220. NYC SB says:

    christina – he was testing the waters to see how far you will go for a shopping trip… meet him and have fun but my take is that he is looking for an escort rather than an SB… but what do i know

  221. another SB says:

    Christina – I think it sounds like this man is a gentleman. He understands (thanks to your clear communication) that he crossed a line and he is trying to make amends. Nice! : ) Please go meet him and have fun – relax and know that you have set some parameters and he respects that.

  222. christina says:

    Thanks, NYC SB. Well the first time we talked about what we would do when we hung out he said he would go to this nice place he know of here and have some wine then go to VS(it’s in the same place we decided to meet) and do a little shopping pick out something nice then he said we’d get a bottle and go back to his hotel. Well I didn’t answer him after that, we were talking online at the time. Now we chat on the phone here and there. So anyways, he IMed a little later and was trying to talk to me like we normally do. I told him that I wanted to meet him and I like him from our conversations but I don’t want to be a someones personal hooker that I think it’s best we didn’t meet if that is the type of arrangment he wants. He said we don’t have to go back to his hotel he just wanted to see what my reaction would be. That if we don’t like each other we go our seperate ways. Which he has been saying from the begining. Since then he paid my cellphone. Said he did it to show me he is worth my time. He hasn’t mentioned anything about hotel rooms since. What do you think?

  223. cherryhart says:

    Well I think she is right! That you should not put all your eggs in one basket. You should be going to school or trying to climb up the ladder in your field. You should also save your money. Don’t spend it like its a never ending ATM. I think is very nice of her to inform the sugar baby’s of what they need to be aware and how to make plans for their further. I would like to thank Alicia for the video and I hope is has help lots of sugar baby plan for whats a head.Thank you!

  224. NC Gent says:

    Hi Farm Girl — I am guessing that most SBs are in their 20s. I prefer women from their late 20s to late 30s, but there are plenty of SBs older than that who have found SDs here — I don’t think one can ever be too old to be an SB or SD :) brush it off and move on!

  225. Farm Girl says:

    Thanks NYC SB! I’m sorry about your experiences too. I’m following your advice…cruising profiles, ice pack in place, and a smile on my face!

  226. NYC SB says:

    FG- Sorry about that… there are many spiteful people online… a lot of successful men do not take rejection well… while i have never been told that i am too old i have been told that i do not have the looks that go along with being an SB or that i am too fat (im 5’6” and 115 lbs making me a size zero) so best is to brush it off

  227. Farm Girl says:

    I am having a run of bad luck! Yesterday, the pot SD was scratched off the list. My new job start date was postponed another week. I was hit in the eye on the dance floor last night. Woke up this morning with broken vessels and I’m afraid it will turn into a black eye. Then the idiot pot SD texts me to tell me I’m too old to be a SB. WHATEVER

    Has anyone here ever been told they were too old for this? (Anyone other than me.) Is there a generally accepted age where the SB should hang-up her princess tiara?

  228. Happy Lurker says:

    Let me add some experience from the other side of the fence.
    I once discussed shopping with a potential SB.
    Then I told her that if she was not into shopping right now, she could also have the equivalent in an envelope. I named a figure and she confessed she had rather take the envelope instead of a new beach outfit or so. It is my opinion that the majority of SBs feel the same.
    Now about that new custome made saddle, that I read about.
    Never heard of such a fetish.
    A no-no for me, as I had rather ride her unbridled.

  229. NYC SB says:

    Sooz many SBs would much rather $ to pay off bills rather than shopping. It all depends on your needs if you let him know he should have no problem with it. One caviat being that many men on the site are not comfortable with a monetary exchange but are more than willing to provide gifts and things of such nature

  230. RedMaru says:

    Hey Sooz…..I agree with NC Gent its not greedy communication is the key.

  231. NC Gent says:

    Hi Sooz — I don’t think that would be greedy, but you need to communicate that to your potential SD.

  232. sooz.sb says:

    So I have a question. If I’m only in the area for about 3 weeks, should I still expect an allowance?
    My pot sd wants a few meetings than a big shopping trip after those meetings.
    Would it be greedy of me to just ask for money instead of him going shopping with me?

  233. RedMaru says:

    Thanks NYC SB(Hugs) 😀

  234. NYC SB says:

    Red Maru – Best of luck… it is nerve wrecking waiting to see if he is ok with support… even worse is when they negotiate … hope it doesnt get to that point!

  235. RedMaru says:

    Hey NC Gent thanks
    They said that they fixed it.

  236. NC Gent says:

    Hiya Redmaru bjs = blow jobs

    I have been moderated so my posts haven’t been going through. Hopefully, that is no longer the case!

  237. RedMaru says:

    Hey sugar family! Hows everyone today. Well I took the advice(thanks) and shot straight and named a figure which is the midpoint of my range on my profile. But now I’m scared silly isnt it. I’ve never gotten this far before so its exciting and scary at the same time. I feel silly for asking but what are bj’s

  238. NYC SB says:

    Christina – just make sure he is not expecting anything out of the shopping trip. Too many SDs offer to take me shopping and then they want to “redeem” their favor… sorry but no! I’d rather not go shopping and just meet the guy than have him nag me for favors later on..

  239. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone

    Sorry to hear that Midgetfury :(

    I’m headed out now to the store and to have lunch.
    Looks like another scorcher in Texas

    Have a good day everyone

  240. sooz.sb says:

    hello all! this is my first time posting on this.
    a break of an arrangment is when they ask for sex or sexual favors too early. I expect to be treated with respect but when they ask if i’m a virgin and how far I’ll go, it’s a huge turn off.

  241. Matt sb says:

    Haha, thanks farmgirl, clearly not, let’s hope the next one is going to be better. I seem to have very limited choices for the uk as far as sm’s are concerned though which doesn’t help. Just meant I have to put in more effort I Suppose :p

  242. christina says:

    Really??!! He started in on BJ’s right at the place you met???? Wow….hhmm….that’s crazy lol. This guys I”ve been talking to for a while says when we meet we’ll go shopping at VS…is that okay?

  243. Midgetfury74 says:

    Christina… I have a sarcastic sense of humor and love laughing and this guy, though he seemed to be nice enough in emails, just did not have a fun personality in person, and for me that is one of my top requirements. Also, he decided to direct the conversation to the topic of bj’s and that was really the sinker for me.

    Some of the main traits I look for are personality/humor, a SD that is able to also serve as a mentor, and looks. Really if you can capture and maintain my attention with your personality, i believe all the other aspects will fall in place.

  244. christina says:

    So Midget…what turned you off?? And what are you looking for?

  245. Midgetfury74 says:

    Lisa…It’s cool I just know what i want and the person I’m looking for and i know i will find him I just have to be patient :)

  246. lisa says:

    sorry to hear that Midgetfury you’re one meeting closer to finding the one

    I’m on this super slow laptop tonight, updating virus protection and updates as I haven’t used this computer in a few months so I gotta keep it up to date but it’s sooooo slow, too much hassle to type on.

    Have a good night everyone

  247. Midgetfury74 says:

    and no cigar…he seemed like a cool person in email and chat but the compatibility level was just not there in person….alas, the search continues.

  248. RedMaru says:

    Good luck got my fingers crossed for you

  249. lisa says:

    sometimes I leave for work at 7 am and it’s already hot, I get sweaty just walking half a block to the busstop. Gotta get out to do some shopping tomorrow, probably going to melt. I guess I should strap a bag of ice on my back. lol

    Wishing you a great evening and hope this one turns out better than that last flake, lol You gotta dig through the flakes to find the prize, lol

  250. Midgetfury74 says:

    Lisa… i tried staying in doors as much as possible today. I think im going to have to bump my morning run to 5:30 its just getting god awful even starting at 6/6:30ish. Having wine with a pot SD at 7 today in Uptown. He’s from Dallas but does a lot of business in Houston, wish me luck and i will fill you in on the details later.

  251. lisa says:

    edit “each person is “probably” reading the profiles sorry just a tiring day and the heat is getting to me, lol

  252. lisa says:

    Good afternoon Midgetfury enjoying the scorching heat? I think the heat index is supposed to be 109

    I think many people (especially men on the site) go into this thinking it’s another dating site and are really just looking for girlfriends. They think paying for dinner is spoiling.

    And there is a big difference in the number of emails one receives compared to a conventional dating site. One reason is because money is involved for the man and many men today don’t even want to pay for dinner. For women, unlike other sites, we outnumber the men on here, I think it was 10 to 1, i’m not sure but it was something like that. That means for every sb that finds a sd, 9 don’t. And there are so many beautiful young women on the site that the men have plenty to choose from, so just because someone is 20 years old, a triple D, intelligent, ambitious, it doesn’t guarantee sucess because there are hundreds more like her. Whereas on traditional sites, each person is problem readin the profiles and looking into deeper subjects.

  253. Midgetfury74 says:

    RedMaru… part of my initial conversation with SD is to state what some of my life goals are right now (grad school, paying off undergrad loans, etc.) so that way they also have a general idea later of the things that are important for me to take care of. That being said when the issue of allowance finally did come up, they understood why i was asking for X amount, because it would be contributing to my goals. The one time I failed to mention these goals and the pot SD bought up allowance he outright rejected the amount I mentioned, (which led to discouragement) and then came back to ask for a detailed breakdown of my finances ( which i was fine with) and then still rejected the idea. Needless to say it did not work out for us, not just because he refused the amount i was asking for but because of the manner in which he approached the situation and how he made me feel. So my advice is have an approximate figure in mind but also be able to justify that with real goals.

  254. Farm Girl says:

    Awww, I’m sorry Matt. It is always sad when they come to an end. Don’t worry about it – she obviously didn’t love you enough if she wouldn’t buy you a horse saddle! LOL!

  255. SouthernGent2 says:

    RedMaru – I think it is best to shoot straight about allowance you need. Rent, auto, insurance, basics are the at the heart of the allowance amount matter IMO.

  256. RedMaru says:

    Oh and the blog question sorry bout puting my dilemna first I would have to say change of heart is big arrangement killer, over complication would be next. I have been discouraged as I have no problem with dates from the regular scene.

  257. RedMaru says:

    Hey sugars I’ve been on and off the blog for a while lurking most of the time. I need some help/advice SD’s preferred Well I have an SD our meet and greet was successful. He is very legit and he wants to see me again and travel with him. We haven’t set a dollar amount but I contacted him and he asked the million dollar question: Well what do you need? Is honesty the best policy? Should I keep it conservative? Help sugar family

  258. Matt sb says:

    I do see where you are coming from
    there, although horse saddles wouldn’t be type of gift haha. It’s a bit different for me since the sm who I last saw didn’t pay me
    anything but bought me presents all the time, it was a shame though I had to break it off with her as she was far too reckless with me and her life. Out of curiosity, does anyone know how successfull it is for male sugar babies on this site? Seeing as i am new to the site and had to look rather hard before for some sugar mums.

  259. Farm Girl says:

    Good morning All!

    I have a few things that, while some may not be deal-breakers, I certainly don’t care for them.

    1. Dictating how I may spend my money. Any money given to me should be mine to spend as I wish. If I want to use a bit of it to renew my membership to the golf club, where I play with my best girlfriend several times a week, then that should be acceptable.

    2. Making ultimatums. Promising to “take care of and be completely responsible” for me, then a week later, stating I have to move in (over 500 miles away) with him for that to happen. Another example, is on the second date, I have to decide to commit to him completely, or he won’t see me again. For Pete’s sake, we hadn’t even kissed yet!

    3. Not following through which leads to disappointment. He offers to purchase a new custom saddle or new horse, then changes his mind after I have excitedly done tons of research/shopping for it. Promises of trips that never happen.

    4. Not being gentlemanly. I spend hours preparing for a date, and would like to hear something nice about my appearance. I was raised to have the manners of a Southern woman, and as such, I do not care to discuss money. I’d prefer the gentleman very clearly state his offer.

    Having said all of that, I may sound angry and bitter, but I’m really not. If I don’t care for something, I know to calmly mention it. Frequently, men just don’t get it, and are more than happy to fix the problem. If not, there are other SDs. Life is too short to put up with nonsense!

  260. NitemareSD says:

    I’d say change of heart is a huge one. So many don’t have what it takes to really follow through. So many are novices who aren’t prepared and later realize they didn’t know what they are getting into.

    Discouragement – Many are not prepared for the sometimes brutal DIS-honesty of prospective sugars and shut down their efforts to find a good relationship here.

  261. Matt sb says:

    Hello fellow sugars, this is my first post to a blog on here, just thought that I would add that I cannot see how a sugar date isn’t any different to an introduction for a date from any other site or
    how you meet people in general, however I do feel it is best to get the negotiations out of the way first, save discussing the awkwards on a date… Hope your all well..

    (appoligies for any spelling issues, I’m on my hone and have noninternet at the moment in my

  262. SincereSD says:

    Good morning fellow sugar bloggers. I’m sipping my coffee and trying to catch up on the blog …

    While there are many arrangement breakers, I would classify them within several major categories, “initial contact”, “dating/screening” and “in-arrangement”.

    I’ll gather my thought on these during the day and post them later. Dating is probably the area I can add the most value for prospective SB and SD.