9 years ago
Sugar Dating – Questions and Critique

9 years ago
Sugar Dating – Questions and Critique

What are the most important thing’s you’ve learned in your sugar journey so far?

Do you like reviewing/critiquing profiles of fellow sugar daddies and sugar babies? Are there any ‘appropriate guidelines’ of criticism?

Leave a Reply

806 Responses to “Sugar Dating – Questions and Critique”

  1. kt says:

    I think this like any other mode of meeting is what you make it. I am here looking for a person. Not money, not jets, don’t care what your car looks like or your house. If you can’t make me laugh and smile and enjoy a lovely evening we are not for each other . I am not Cindy Crawford or Paris Hilton. Just a woman who is intelligent and enjoys the good life with men. Sex is an important part of my life and one you enjoy with one person. Not looking for one night stands or marrying anyone . Been there done that. I want freedom, personal and financial. To enjoy the world. To enjoy a sunrise in Malibu or Tahiti. I love Vegas and gambling for fun. We all like different things and we are like everyone next door to you but we go online to find the person anywhere in the world. :)

  2. Kgirl151 says:

    Im confused; what does NC Gent mean by a private profile? I am very new to this and have not been getting any responses! It is a hit to my self-esteem :(

  3. Coco says:

    Quick question Sugars….

    Have a pot SD that we’ve emailing back and forth for 2 days now. Just out of the blue, he wants us to meet in a couple of hours before he leaves work ( around 5-6pm)…. since his work isn’t too far from where i live. He’s married and lives 50 miles away.

    I wasn’t too busy but i emailed him back telling him that I had some work to do and that would not be possible. Considering that he gave me a short notice and I didn’t or rather never want to look desperate.

    Do you think this would give him a bad impression that I do not want to meet?

  4. NYGent says:

    OC: there must be some explanation for this guy besides amnesia. Very strange.

  5. always2sweet says:

    Nikki I am so glad I found the blog…it is absolutely refreshing, and the people are all so welcoming and great!

  6. Nikki says:


    Im still thinking about this side. I will learn so much from this blog, everybody seems so real! :)

  7. cleo says:

    cremebrulee: you want to know how to live without shoes on? take your shoes off *g*

    start with cobblestones and grass and fresh pavement and the bare part of gravel roads…

  8. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    Cleo – Sounds about right.. impressed.

  9. cleo says:

    CB: toronto… and i can totally see myself doing that in parts of manhattan… actually did it walking from hmm what was it… i want to say haru sushi to the waldorf but i get ny geography all mixed up in my head.

    anyway somewhere around 30th? up to the waldorf… does that make sense as a half hour stroll? i put shoes on for the construction bits of course…

  10. cleo says:

    rofl – that hurts me in places that are hard to hurt miss felicity.
    and speaking of distractions? new blog

  11. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    Cleo – More power to you but I can’t see myself doing that in Manhattan.. where might you be?

  12. cleo says:

    cremebrulee: i walk barefoot all the time (in the city even) and it is amazing how horrified people get. :)

  13. Felicity says:

    TXSB – the was a guy in England who wrapped his Veyron about a week after he got it – they’d only been out about a month and he totally wrecked it (walked away, thank goodness) but my word! Seriously gutting.

    I have this great image of us all worshiping shoes, and the James having to wave a topic on a bouncy string to distract us – kitten style!

    Totally random but it made me laugh – its obviously been a long week!!


  14. TXSB says:

    Hi! Felicity is right…..just give us another topic and we’ll jump right on it. I also get distracted easily. :)

  15. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    There are some SBs out there who which the modern-day terrain allowed for being barefoot or even sporting roman sandals. Heels are orthopedically evil!

  16. Anna Molly says:

    I feel like I’m getting sick….ugh… :(

  17. TXSB says:

    Cleo: LOL!

    Felicity: I’ll take your word for it. To be honest, I have never even heard of it up until I read this article like an hour ago! I don’t know anyone who drives these super luxury cars…so never even been in one. :(

  18. Felicity says:

    TXSB: The Veyrons are WAY cool – I drove one once (only very briefly!!) as I worked for Aston Martin / Jaguar / Land Rover and the guy brought one to PX with a Vanquish!

    I only wish I’d known about Sugar dating back then!!!

  19. Felicity says:

    Hey James,

    Don’t be too put off by the shoes – these girls are SO much more than that (but the obvious over-excitement is great for a boost when I’m having a slow day!)

    Just give them another topic & I, for one, am easily destracted!!


  20. cleo says:

    oh James! you nailed it, the reason i got instantly addicted to this place… it feels like people are real here.


  21. cleo says:

    James: er i mean “in this case: not writing” lol – that said, i like to think my writing is hot – lol.

    hey my comment didn’t post… oh right, i had a url in it.

    Muse: i tend to live in flats but recently i’ve started buying the occasional heel IF and ONLY if it meets the following criteria
    1: stupendously comfortable after wandering the store for at least 20-30 minutes
    2: goes with outfits i already own
    3: on sale or under $250 new
    4: obviously well made

    always2sweet: if you go to italy make sure to tell us so we can all tell you our favourite places (vesi pizza in naples)
    TXSB: gosh darnit, i haven’t even SAT in one yet and they’re already driving them into oceans!

  22. always2sweet says:

    hahaha Sorry James, I started it. Me and my online window shopping adventures! I got super carried away, and still havent left site yet lol

  23. cleo says:

    Hi James

    you know when i haven’t been here for hours i find my last comment and then search for my name. that way i don’t miss when people talk to me. er don’t miss often.

    after i answer those i’ll go back and read/skim the blog. certain content is pretty easy to cruise over and i must confess for me it is also the shoes talk. it’s ephemeral and doesn’t matter unless you’re bored and choosing to participate.

    (or in my case, hot writing)

  24. James says:

    OC, sorry to hear, that first date sounded so great. I have to agree, he should have responded sooner. Poor form to say the least, but maybe there’s an explanation.

    Cleo, :-)

    When you gals (and some of you guys) start up with the shoes and shopping talk, the estrogen level of the blog shoots through the roof! Not complaining, it’s part of the charm — one of the few places I know where free men and women speak frankly as equals and in mutual support. A post-modern Quaker meeting, if you will. But my eyes just glaze over those posts when I’m trying to catch up, so if there’s any juicy nugget in there too, don’t be surprised if some of the guys miss it!

  25. always2sweet says:

    Coco – that Philip Lim boutique got damn near cleaned out as soon as it opened lol. But if I had it to spend, half of those garments would have been mine too!

    And I definately agree about experiences. I am also saving to try to go to Italy with my best this summer. But fashion is my heart. It is what I want to do with the rest of my life. I have wanted to be a designer since I was a tot lol so great fashion just revs my engine, in a way that most people, even hardcore fashionistas dont understand lol

  26. TXSB says:

    I just read the article about the Bugatti Veyron being driven into the water near Galveston. I wonder if he’s on this site…. :)

  27. Muse says:

    cleo- so true. I love the way heels make me look but I’m almost always wearing flats (never know when I’m going to go for an impromptu 3 mile walk.)

    I’m so over this weather. Can it be spring yet?

  28. Coco says:

    Hello Sugars…

    always2sweet – i know the site too…i got an email this morning and am currently browsing the Ungaro & 3.1 Phillip ( everything’s almost gone)…

  29. cleo says:

    always2sweet: i buy cheap t-shirts/tank tops etc, otherwise i buy quality that will last and not much of it…

  30. cleo says:

    Muse said: (Plane tickets to somewhere fun are better than purses or shoes and that’s saying a lot.)

    and i couldn’t agree more. things don’t matter, experiences do… that said? comfy shoes for those experiences help a LOT :)
    Taz: yeah it is by far the most rewarding thing i’ve ever done… but it means i will probably never stop working. old pilates teachers don’t retire, they just teach the baby teachers at workshops in exotic places instead …

    my mentor works 55 hours a week and is in her late sixties and still not financially easy. she isn’t poor but she’s also still working. love my job, don’t love the pension plan.

  31. always2sweet says:

    OMG I think my heart just stopped! I may actually cry lol. They just put up a 3.1 Phillip Lim boutique!!!!!! I have got to get off this damn site, just sitting here crushing my poor feelers

  32. TXSB says:

    Gah…I ate some left overs from last night and now my tummy hurts. :(

    Yes, that’s what I’m trying to do now. Buying less but quality items. :)

  33. always2sweet says:

    TX thats the way to go! Its so much better to save for nice things, than to have a bunch of crap. I have so many friends that this concept is just completely lost on. They have so much cheap sh*t that they buy over and over again b/c they want the “look” but it is constantly falling apart. Meanwhile I have FAR fewer things, but I buy NICE things so they last forever!

  34. TXSB says:

    Yep I need a pair of plain classic black pumps too. Mine literally fell apart like 2 months ago. I’ve also been thinking that instead of getting it again from Aldo or Baker’s, I would wait and get something nicer.

  35. Nikki says:


    Eat, eat, eat…Im taking it all in and editing as I go.



    When I get in one of those moods, I shop for an hour, go home and look at the outfits or shoes over and over and over. Then I take them all back. I get the urge to spend off my chest and Im not hurting my pocketbook. I was so silly

  36. always2sweet says:

    I didnt post it lol My best swore me to secrecy, and its invite only, so if you want since you’re sugar fam and we can window shop 2gether lol send me your email addy, and I will invite you! I have 2 sites I go to, that are both good, but the one with the Ungaro boutique Im just warning you will seriously hurt your feelings lol

  37. Anna Molly says:

    TXSB ~ When I was in the city not long ago; I didn’t even go to Saks. I knew if I walked in there I would get too depressed…lol. One of these days though, one of these days :)

  38. always2sweet says:

    hahaha I’d TOTALLY give it to you too TX…even though their all “missuse of your discount could result in termination” lol. I’m saving for a pair of Christian Louboutin’s atm. Even though my car payments are making that really F’ing hard…bastards! I want the classic black platform pumps *drool* and dont worry, I never shop high fashion either. I just know a ton about it b/c my mom was a model, and I have loved high fashion since I was just a wee tot.

    AM it is all a dream for me too lol, but I’d like to think that it is one that will soon be a reality! Ah to shop. My friend and I used to joke that all we wanted to do with our lives was shop, drink martinis, and get pampered(i.e. manis, pedis, hair etc). Such as life , I have 2 jobs, dont shop, and on a good day I have a beer with my sister after work lol. But Im still keeping the dream alive lol

  39. Nikki says:

    Hi always2sweet,

    Im trying to read up the blog for the site where you’re shopping..Please do tell.

  40. TXSB says:

    Awww. Sometimes when I’m in a weird mood and feel like torturing myself, I’ll walk through Saks to get in the mall….so I’ll walk through Saks while going to Macy’s with my coupon! Last year there was this Dior purse at Saks that I was IN LOVE with. It’s was around $700. I’m not joking when I saw that I used to go to Saks and just hold the purse…how sad is that.

  41. TXSB says:

    Yep, I’m also saving up for a overseas trip soon to visit family.


    I’ve *never* shopped “high fashion”. The most expensive pair of shoes I own are these $120 Michael Kors sandals…lol. But then again I don’t go anywhere where I could/would wear $1000 shoes or outfits. :( Too bad you’re not near me….I would sooo bug you for your employee discount. 😉

  42. Anna Molly says:

    I wanna shop for high fashion too…
    A $1000 dress is something I buy in my dreams….IRL, I salivate over a pair of $120 Ann Taylor slacks….lol.

  43. always2sweet says:

    TX the last time I shopped was at Express(where I also work lol) for boyfriend jeans and a vest. I want to SHOP! For high fashion. So I am right there with you. But I just see not being able to shop right now as an opportunity for me to fine tune my style, look etc. and to work out like a maniac, so I can have the body I want to do those beautiful garments justice. There is a floor length ivory gown in the Ungaro boutique that I wait listed, and I am just using it as my inspiration to keep my butt at the gym and eat right! Silver lining lol

  44. Muse says:

    TXSB – I’m a terrible swimmer so I feel your pain, but I don’t mind going in the water since I’m pretty sure I won’t drown.

    I know! I haven’t bought anything more exciting than tights in ages! I’m saving up for a trip (actually, I’m saving up my allowance plus some for a trip) and should be buying the tickets in the next few days. I’m so excited!! (Plane tickets to somewhere fun are better than purses or shoes and that’s saying a lot.)

  45. TXSB says:

    All this talk of shopping is getting me all worked up. I haven’t been shopping in months. :(

  46. TXSB says:

    LOL….yes, I need to get to the point of not frantically splashing all over like a idiot! :)


    One very important thing to keep in mind is to think how a man will perceive you when looking at your profile. I think a lot of women write stuff in their profile but don’t stop to think “Hmmm…if a man reads this, what type of woman will he think I am?”.

    So you do want an allowance….ok well I wouldn’t not put that flat out on the profile. I would recommend taking the part about gifts/shopping. Most SD’s know that SBs like to shop so that’s nothing new to them. Do state something like you’re free to travel (I guess you already did that).
    If I think of anything else I will let you know….I haven’t eaten breakfast and my brain’s not functioning properly right now. :(

  47. always2sweet says:

    RX, nice shopping on the 85%. You wanna know the best thing about this site?!?!?! None of it is closeout! It is all inseason, top designer high quality fashion! I dont know how the hell they are able to sell things at this price and turn any kind of profit. Like literally, everything that is a part of Ungaro’s fall collection, is in this boutique, its not stuff from last fall or spring, it is current! Ungaro is Alum of the fashion school that I got into(and am STILL hoping to attend) and I love love love his work! So it is KILLING me not to be able to get a single piece lol. The boutiques only last for 72 hours, and then something totally new comes up. I previewed some upcoming boutiques, and my feelings are just getting smashed! HAHAHA

  48. RX8sb says:


    Everyone here is great about getting your profile up on target. And a few blogs ago Flo Rida posted a great (alabit long) list of what to do and not do on your profile. I think it was 2 blogs ago.

    They have helped me out a great deal. And I am still fine tuning my profile.

  49. Nikki says:


    I needed to hear everything you posted. Thanks. Im hoping after the changes that I can get on the ball. I do want allowance so I will add that in. I know the dildo was stupid lol. A friend who is not a sb told me that would be funny. Nowonder she’s broke and alone.

    Thanks again!

  50. RX8sb says:

    Good morning Ladies and Gents.

    Was catching with what little I missed.

    I have been avoiding any kind of window shopping as I use to be able to afford almost everything I wanted.

    And that is wow, I was able to get some awesome boots at a last years fashion outlet mall. After everything and all the discount and sales event I got them for 85% off. Though they were still a pretty penny LOL I think I got them for 300$

    Now if only they had a rubber sole because they kill my feet LOL

  51. Nikki says:

    Thanks RedMaru,

    Its on the sweet side ( well the way mine were cooked) and it has a quality taste. In between a fish taste and a beef taste. Hard to describe but not bad! They are called alligator bites .

  52. Teena says:

    Red: my number is 408729, Thanks!!

  53. TXSB says:

    I didn’t even kiss my SD on our 1st date let alone have sex. It’s not “called” anything…it’s just way you conduct yourself. Don’t send semi nude/nude/sexual pics to any man, don’t dress like a whore on the 1st date, and if a man hints at anything sexual on the 1st date, let him know politely that you will NOT get physically involved with someone unless an arrangement has been agreed upon and he had delivered at least half of what he has agreed on.

    My opinions on your profle:
    1) I’m not too fond of the 3rd pic. You face looks pretty and it does show off the figure. *BUT* the outfit is not….tasteful IMO. I can see the black bra and the skirt/shy white belt/sheer tights is just not classy. IMO you need a pic with a nice outfit that you could/would wear to a nice upscale dinner.
    2) Please take the part about the dildo out. It’s very “un ladylike” and will make many men think that you’re “easy”.
    3) The very last line about not biting unless he likes kinky stuff….please take that out too. No mention of dildos, kinky stuff, or anything sexual in the profile. Instead you could insert a line on the 2nd part something similar to “I’m not an escort and am not looking for 1 night stands. I’m searching for a on going LTR that’s mutually beneficial”.
    4) You mention you’re opening a day care soon….and you also mention travel. Reading that travel paragraph I got the impression that you’re able to travel for however long even at last moments notice despite your new business…….so IF that’s not true, I would recommend re-wording it.
    5) Are you mainly just looking for a gift/travel daddy? If so that’s ok….b/c that’s the impression I received since you talk about shopping/travelling. No mention of allowance so in case you’re also expecting a flat monthly allowance, some SD’s may be surprised by it.

  54. Muse says:

    TexasSD- Will you let us know before you arrive and possibly agree to a coffee? If you’re not going to share your profile, you should at least let us have IRL peeks.

    Anna – You should not feel bad about having two dates/meetings in one day. After all, why would you assume they’re not doing the exact same thing? You’re all searching and that generally involves meeting more than one person.

    TXSB – Snorkeling is amazing, although it does involve a bit more swimming and a bit less frantic splashing. As soon as you learn how to float, swimming will become easier because you know you can at least not drown.

    Morning all.

  55. always2sweet says:

    Morning all!

    I should totally be working right now…instead I am definately perusing an AMAZING Emanual Ungaro bouique! Seeing some serious pieces at a SERIOUS discount. Theres a dress that I want desperately, over 3500 originally, but on this site I am a member at it is under 1000!!! I think I just died inside a little b/c I still cant afford it LOL

    *Sigh* I suppose I should try to work and stop virtual window shopping and blogging lol

  56. RedMaru says:

    Hi Teena 😀
    Whats your profile number

  57. Teena says:

    Hello All I wanted to see if someone could check my profile and critique it for me?

  58. Anna Molly says:

    I’ve eaten crickets before….blah!
    While visiting Montreal once I went to the insectarium there and they were having a special event where they were cooking up different types of insects….yuck! You should’ve seen some of the stuff people were eating. I could barely get the cricket cornbread down. People were eating stick bugs, tarantulas, scorpions….it was disgusting, but there were a lot of people lined up ready to devour the little critters….ewww.

  59. lisa says:

    Good morning RedMaru :)

    Gotta be getting myself together now, busy day

  60. RedMaru says:

    Hi lisa 😀
    Bye lisa 😀

  61. RX8sb says:

    TexaSD says:
    November 12, 2009 at 11:16 pm

    RX8- Did I miss you got married?

    Was married (past tense), He hid the fact that he was mentally diseased, and was abusive. (but not his fault because of his disease.) He told me a day before I delivered my son that he was mentally diseased and that because of that he is not responsible for his actions.

    When I finally got back from the hospital I moved out, as the marriage was based on fraud. Now I have the worry for my son, as one of the diseases is actually genetic.

    But as I am annulled (i.e. to courts marriage never happened, due to fraud) should I put single or divorced on my profile.

    I am not too picky on who I hang with but I always demanded that you be mentally stable. And I thought it was easy to spot. Boy was I wrong and blinded.

    I am now allergic to high drama.

  62. RedMaru says:

    Hi Nikki – Saw your profile your pics are nice you have a great smile. I like the freshness and honesty in your profile.
    BTW – How does alligator taste

  63. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. Cool morning in Houston, 50 brrrrrrrr

    Nikki I would take out the part about “my best friend is a dildo” . That info is best saved till you get to know someone and it might invite unwanted webcam requests if you know what I mean. lol

    Anna, nothing wrong with having two sd dates. As it has been mention before, it’s like having two job interviews, it’s just a meeting. And as far as having two lovers in the same day, that’s just not right, but it can happen, i’ve been there, lol

    Gotta hit the shower and start running my errands. Have a great day everyone.

  64. Anna Molly says:

    Hey Taz ~ No, not Richard lol….two different guys :)

    Hey Red!! :)

  65. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugarfam 😀
    It’s Friday 😀

  66. Taz says:

    Anna – have fun!! Go for it! I AM curious – the one was planned…the other…? Is it Richard??

  67. Taz says:

    Morning All!

    Welcome back SouthernGent2 :)

    Cleo – I LOVE that you have found a way to HELP people!…and hope you find a way to profit more from it! I have been in the restaurant industry for far too long for it to be satisfying at this point in my life…to help people…that is fulfillment :)

  68. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Nikki, welcome :)

    I’m not an expert when it comes to the profile thing…lol, but, IMO, I would take out the last line in the second paragraph. :)
    The SD’s here are really good at this kind of stuff :)

  69. Nikki says:

    Questions: Im new but Im ready… I want no drama but I dont want to have sex on the first day we meet. I just dont want to go that route. Maybe the second..lol. What is this called in SD/SB land?

    Is that LTR, No drama, No bs? What do I call this? I want a mutual thing but dont want to be an escort….

    Check out my profil and critique pls Profile Number 409417


  70. Anna Molly says:

    MMM, that does sound good :)
    Where are you from? I’m sure you’ve said, I just can’t remember.

  71. SouthernGent2 says:

    I like them all, but I my first choice is Etoufee with shrimp and crawfish.

  72. Anna Molly says:

    What would you like….jambalaya, etouffee, gumbo :)
    I love, love, love jambalaya :)
    Never liked chicory coffee or in my coffee though. Blah!

  73. SouthernGent2 says:

    Doing pretty good Anna Molly. Had a good night sleep and its Friday. Now if I could have a good Cajun dinner tonight, it might turn out to be a great day.

  74. cleo says:

    TexaSD: well that explains the trips to japan anyway :)

    my dad is an engineer, it’s funny because i totally think like one and yet don’t really have any interest in being one. the family hasn’t been political since my grandfather’s time but we’ve always been interested even if we weren’t participating. that said, we’re definitely builders, just not necessarily of buildings.

    pilates is very good, and watching people start walking better and living better is very, very powerful… that said, your job pays better so you know, advantages in each direction.
    Anna Molly: oh god hockey players… there is something so incredibly delicious about them! about anyone involved in the sport really.

  75. Anna Molly says:

    Thanks for the advice. It is appreciated :)

  76. Felicity says:

    Hi AM

    I’ve had all my posts drafted & I was just wondering why – didn’t mean to hit go – oops!

  77. Anna Molly says:

    Hey SG2, how are ya?

  78. Anna Molly says:

    Good Morning Felicity :)

  79. SouthernGent2 says:

    Go for it Anna Molly. Two in one day is better than waiting a week between prospect meetings. You have to take the opportunity when you get it. Besides, we as sd’s know you are meeting others if you are in the search mode.

  80. Just Dee in NC says:

    Don’t think of them as dates, Anna – you’re simply meeting friends for coffee/drinks/lunch and an hour or so of good conversation. It isn’t like you’re going to have hot and heavy make-out sessions with them.

    Not much different than having 2 job interviews in the same day, actually.

  81. Anna Molly says:

    Dee ~ I just feel a little weird about the two dates in one day thing, but I don’t want to make two seperate trips to the city either.

  82. Anna Molly says:

    When I go to the AHL games here they have all kinds of good looking guys walking around in nice suits….sigh…as if watching good looking, sweaty hockey players beat the crap out of each other wasn’t enough. I can’t help myself…watching a good hockey game gets me going. Anyway, regarding your question, the guys in the suits are all arena management and promotion people.

  83. SweetLittle_K says:

    Hi there Anna,

    Thank you for the nice words and the offere :)

    Keep the fingers crossed on the one and us.

    Morning Just Deee and others, too.

  84. Just Dee in NC says:

    Of course not, Anna Molly.

    Margo, he could be anything from the janitor at an actual arena, or he could be in sports promotions, or he could work for the sports department of a media outlet, or he could work for a professional team in some capacity. It’s wide open.

  85. Anna Molly says:

    Morning Dee :) and everyone else

  86. Anna Molly says:

    Would it be wrong to have 2 sugar dates in one day?

  87. Margo says:

    A quick question: what does it mean – a businessman in the sporting arena? What he actually does?

  88. Just Dee in NC says:

    Good morning, Anna Molly!

  89. Just Dee in NC says:

    SG2! Good morning!

    Good morning Felicity and K and TLG and all the lurkers!

  90. Anna Molly says:

    SweetLittle_K ~ YAY! I’m so happy for you :)

    I’m sorry to hear about your friend :( I know what he is going through.
    I wish I could help, but I can’t think of any books off the top of my head, but I will check Amazon for you and see if I can come up with some suggestions.

  91. SweetLittle_K says:

    Question on reading material

    A friend of mine just lost his loved one, and he seems abit lost himself. I’m looking for some good inspirational book to send along with the card.

    Anoter lady friend is moving away and I want to give a book on woman character as a farewell.

    Suggestion please

  92. SweetLittle_K says:

    Good morning everyeone!

    Up date;

    Got a call from ‘He’s the one’ last night saying want to move thing forward!

    Still haven’t cashed the cheqck even I got yelled at, you need it cahsed it.

  93. The Lone Gunman says:

    Good morning!

    Want to thank everyone for the advice yesterday.


  94. Felicity says:

    Good morning SG2!

    Its nearly lunchtime here in grey old England – I love that I look like a real night owl on this blog as its all based on PST!


  95. SouthernGent2 says:

    Back from Texas. Still FOS. Good morning everyone.

  96. Felicity says:

    TEXASD – I know Paradise Road! There’s a really wonderful deli there…

    Goodness – what a small world!

    Thanks NYGent – I’ll give it some more thought and maybe add some more, the photo is blurry intentionally while I figured out if this was for me or not, so maybe I’ll now invest in some professional photos…

    I’m happy to travel & work for myself, so can be very flexible – just need to get the ponies looked after & I can be on a plane!

    Just Dee – thank you lovely lady! You’ve done wonders for my poor battered little ego ladies – thank you!


  97. TexaSD says:

    TXSB– goodnight, I think RX8 hit the sheets too…

  98. TXSB says:

    OK it’s 1:30….I’m going to try to get some sleep.

    Good night everyone!

  99. TexaSD says:

    Cleo- Pilates sounds cool, much more of a relaxed atmosphere

  100. TexaSD says:

    Cleo- Well I guess more like DR Congo, but the last few foreign governments I have work for is ROK and Japan. Ya it can run in the family, but a lot of other things does, My father isn’t to understanding of foreign relations, but he pays attention to politics because of his father, my uncle and Grandpa were involved with Foreign politics. My father and brothers are more engineers, all of them are builders lol

  101. cleo says:

    TXSB: *snicker*
    TexaSD: yeah, politics tends to run in the family from what i understand. anybody i know who works politically almost always has more than one relative who also does. it’s sorta running in my family, a thin vein rather than a thick one.

    foreign like canada or foreign like democratic republic of congo?

    did you have a good night?

  102. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- I have no Idea, I was going to email her, but i checked my fav’s and she wasn’t there…

  103. TXSB says:

    WOW! I was gone from the blog for like 4 days b/c of internet issues last week….didn’t have the energy to catch up on 600 posts when I got back. AsianSB left SA? Why??


    2nd texaSD. I missed it too but I didn’t know you were married….

  104. TexaSD says:

    RX8- Did I miss you got married?

  105. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- I thought you go back and read all the blogs, I was telling that to AsianSB, who has since left SA… So i don’t know if I will meet her :(

  106. TexaSD says:

    Cleo- My fathers’ side of the family has been involved in politics for well before he was even born, let alone myself… I am not sure exactly, mostly I do research work. I have the most fun when its for a foreign government. They really try to understand the whole process. Well when you work for a NGO its usually a US, UK. based company, sometimes thought you will see others… (all of them are competing for government money)

  107. TXSB says:

    :( You can just say if you don’t want to meet me…..you don’t have to leave North America! 😉

  108. cleo says:

    TexaSD: ah yes, i see i lack clarity when i’m this tired. yeah i teach pilates, primarily for rehab but i can teach a good workout if need be (which will still make hurts feel better) :)

    i wonder if they take a business degree FROM the third world more seriously than one from north america. heh. well i guess you just keep being right when they are listening to you and slowly but surely they’ll take you more seriously. sucks though when they can’t hear you because they’re so sure they know the answer already.

    what is it about politics that inspires your passions? i enjoy interpersonal politics very much but the public office kind doesn’t inspire me to do the work. i probably should since people keep telling me they would vote for me…
    TexaSD: it isn’t like i don’t know what to do with money, i simply fail to have any :)
    TXSB: well, you’ll have to give us a blow by blow if you ever manage to meet him ;>

  109. TexaSD says:

    CLeo- I would buy an apartement building, exactly what my Accounting teacher used to say after you have bought your 2nd house… lol

  110. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- Oh so sad, I will be in Manila near the end of December and in Japan come january…. your killing me smalls,

  111. TexaSD says:

    Cleo– Yes Politics is my passion, business degrees you need to be taken seriously in any NGO assignment, (specially when they are focus on development in the 3rd world) . Nope I dress nicely, I watch my vocab. I have to when I am doing a presentation or a research paper. The older politicians listen to some of the “established” people, not so much the young and new, we are more the follower to learn how the system works, and not to insert “our” style lol… Teach Pilates?

  112. TXSB says:

    LOL! Well, I will say that he has been kind enough to share quite a bit on the blog….as for the pic….I have someone close to me who attends UT and the odds of me going to Austin by Jan are very high. So I’m hoping he’ll agree to meet a visitor to his town for at least 1 cup of coffee. :)


    You don’t have to write multiples….pick 1 and write! 😉

  113. cleo says:

    TexaSD: i’m all right, it was shitty, there was crying. kitty is wherever kitties go when you say goodbye to them … trying to get myself to go to bed for clients in the morning.

    i see your point about the mid six figures meaning you need more than a couple of houses… but i wouldn’t buy more houses i’d buy an apartment building :)

  114. TexaSD says:

    RX8- Well, I am not a time waster, I don’t want to contact a handful and then it turns out I like number 4 and decide i want her, and the rest are all left out, saying damn time waster.. perhaps the 1 by 1 approach is the better way? I haven’t contacted the married one yet, because not sure how i feel about it, plus she is in NC, which I don’t go there for work, or anything so I am not sure I have a reason to go there, and I dont’ know if she would come to me, because she is married… RX8 maybe I faved you….

  115. cleo says:

    TexaSD: why do older people tend not to listen to you? do you say dude a lot or dress juvenile or ungroomed? does your voice lack authority when you share your thoughts? (both of which i totally can’t imagine based solely on the way you speak online.)

    i would love to put you in a room with a friend of mine and watch you guys talk about international politics. so few people pay attention outside their own borders.

    my passion? i’m actually in love with my job. i got in a car accident a few years ago (at the time i was troubleshooting internet connectivity issues and going places at a telecom) and found my calling when i was referred to pilates. my teacher put me back together and inspired a career that allows me to heal people.

    i’m a troubleshooter who hates desks and can see structural issues and design flaws. currently i’m working on human bodies but i’m trying to think of how to apply that talent in a more cash flow intense way…

    is politics/business your passion or is it something else?
    TXSB: if you have to pick? say picture. the rest we can glean from teh blog.

  116. RX8sb says:

    Since my aim is to get an annulment as the marriage was based on fraud.. Should I put that I am single or keep it divorced.

    And I emailed someone from CL so maybe. but considering my luck I won’t hold my breathe.

  117. TexaSD says:

    Cleo, wb, how are you?

  118. RX8sb says:

    and among those 8 have you emailed them? or just sitting there letting them wonder who it is that liked them enough to favorite them but is not having the balls to email them…


    I have 3 guys favorite me, and I don’t have the spare cash to upgrade I have no idea who they are. And it is a minor irritation.

    And yes I am still here, Scan done, puter is fine. so I am off to bed before the little one wakes. He is entering monster stage. O joy… I am in for some fun times now.

  119. TXSB says:

    LOL! Dang….you need to write! Are you considering the married SB or is that a “no” for you?

  120. cleo says:

    regarding the response or not? i tend to just stop answering their emails or never start.

    and after a date? if you aren’t going to call me? say “thank you for your company” and give me a hug or a handshake and go. don’t say “i’ll email/call you tomorrow.”

    sometimes i wasn’t expecting him to call until he said he would… and then to still not? so bogus.

  121. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- I have thought about writing this asian in NC, but it says married on her profile, and I dont know about that, Other than her, i have about 8 in the favorties now lol

  122. TXSB says:

    FB = Facebook

    Yes….I’m hanging my head in shame….

    Hey I never asked u…..how’s u’r search going? Have you written anyone?

  123. TexaSD says:

    TXSB– thats a cool title, What do you mean by FB, sorry

  124. TXSB says:

    Night Midwest!

  125. It’s way past my bedtime. Goodnight sugars!

  126. TXSB says:

    Did everyone else leave? LOL….its just us for now…..the taken SB and the “legend”…. 😉

  127. TXSB says:

    Hasty decisions aren’t always “bad”….. Yep…I know….sorry………I just came across something on FB and got all depressed. It’s times like this I wish I had liquor in the house.

  128. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- you know I am just teasing you right?

  129. TexaSD says:

    TXSB, I will spend several weeks thinking it over, I don’t want to make any hasty decisions lol

  130. TXSB says:

    LOL @ Midwest!


    Nooooo! You’re so cruel! Well, I don’t want you to stress out over deciding which one to give me…….so I’ll just take both the profile # and pic. :)

  131. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- No pic in my profile, and today you wont be able to see it anyways, I made some changes and it is pending approval, lol

  132. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- Lol, one of these days, maybe I will give you a # or a pic lol

  133. TXSB says:

    Does your profile have your pic?

  134. TexaSD says:

    Midwest- I think the only one who has seen me is photo, and as of today, Unless someone has a profile that I am not aware of, there is only 1 person here that seen my profile.

  135. TXSB says:

    What obsession? Me swimming? So do I get anything for contributing to your laughter? IMO a profile # or a recent pic would only be a fair exchange in this situation… 😉


    Midwest SB:
    My SD is the most amusing part in all this. Once we’re there, if I pass out b/c I drowned or somehow make a total fool of myself……my SD will make sure I’m ok, and then laugh his ass off! Yep….he’s such a goofball that he won’t hesitate totally making fun of me….and I’m not giving him that pleasure. :)

  136. meant *conception*

    TexasSD – not telling…take that :-)

  137. TexaSD says:

    Midwest- as in you saw me in person? or my profile?

  138. TXSB – *cleaning up wine* Hilarious! Think of it this way…we’ve been swimming underwater since birth, so you just have to remember.

    I’m still thinking I had a TexasSD sighting…he’s just not confirming :-)

  139. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- Lol, I still don’t get the obsession, but you guys really make me laugh

  140. TXSB says:

    Hahahaha…..I just realized….I guess if I can’t make myself float, I’ll be underwater anyway. So I’ll get those few seconds of “gorgeous views” before I pass out!

  141. TXSB says:

    Midwest SB:
    I’m going to look up skim boarding…..LOL….SD actually did mention snorkling. He told me it’s not “THAT difficult” and “lots of fun”. I told him I’m trying to get as good as I can so I can do as many activities we can cram into our schedule. He also mentioned going onto some boat trips into the jungle that’s also fun…..I can sit on a boat. :)

  142. TXSB says:

    And he may…there’s no guarantee. Look at it this way….this is just like a job interview. The more interviews you go to, the more prepared you are for the next one. Just focus on having fun…and if he turns out to be a jerk…then that’s his loss.

  143. 2Chic says:

    Thanks TXSB. I was very confident, now I am like what if he starts tripping too.

  144. TXSB says:

    “Muse says:
    All this hunting for your profile has made me curious about the man….the mystery…the legend….”

    LOL….that’s actually a pretty good way to describe TexaSD…the young, super sweet SD who’s sooo mysterious. I for one am dying to put a face to the name…..hopefully someday….soon. :)

  145. TXSB – Perhaps shallow water and a raft are in order. Skim boarding could be a safe compromise :-)

    What if he wants to go snorkling??? That’s a treat and swimming underwater isn’t so bad. You can do it! You can do it!!

  146. TexaSD says:

    Muse- ya, i will tell everyone when I go to NYC,

    mystery lol…

    TXSB- Ohh I see, i didn’t know that

  147. TXSB says:

    Nope. Always sat on the side with legs dangling in the water.


    Good luck on the date tomorrow! :)


    I don’t think I’ll become a graceful swimmer in 5 weeks. SD wants me to be able to at least doggiepaddle comfortably. I just want to get in the water and not drown (thank god the resort we’re going to is adults only so at least there won’t be kids laughing at me!).

  148. Muse says:

    Uh oh. Bedtime for me. Have a great night everyone!

  149. Muse says:

    TexasSD- That sounds tempting but I already have Beaujolais Nouveau plans for that night, so I’ll have to miss the lecture. Let me know when you’re in NYC though. All this hunting for your profile has made me curious about the man….the mystery…the legend…. 😉

    Hi Midwest SB!

    TXSB – I’m psychic sometimes. Are you trying to be a graceful swimmer or just not drown?

  150. 2Chic says:

    Suga’s let me tell you what just happened. Got an email from a very handsome MM in Bev Hills. Communicated back and forth for a little, then he starts to get explicit. I ended up reading him like a book, and told him to go back to his groupies. I just want to scream out of frustration, and cry. Frustrated because I thought he was cool, want to cry because I like Bev Hills, and could have really benefited from his clout in the area. More about networking for me, growing my business. Anyways, he replied and apologized. I have closed the book on him. I do have a lunch date with another POT tomorrow. I will fill you guys in.

  151. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- So I was wondering, you never went swimming your whole life?

  152. TXSB says:

    Hi Muse!
    Funny you mentioned swimming…I was just literally looking up some info! It’s not working the the person who was giving me lessons….so I just looked up info. on private lessons at the YMCA. Will call them tomorrow. I have like 5 weeks to learn!

  153. TexaSD says:

    Muse- Photo is in Tampa 😉

  154. Hi Muse!

    TexasSD – FL, Vegas – somewhere to get away for the weekend.

    PS – VC no apologies for having fun…bummer about the arm, but get back on those blades soon :-)

  155. TexaSD says:

    Muse- I was going to go to Watch a lecture by Mark Carney (chairman of the board of directors of the Bank of Canada), but I have to go to Vancouver BC, for the conclusion of my contract. But if you want to attend the Lecture, its on November 19th at 6pm, registration is at 5:30

  156. TexaSD says:

    Midwest- I am ok, Where were you searching for Travel vacations?

  157. Muse says:

    Jeez. A girl focuses on work for a whole 36 hours and it takes me another 4 to catch up. You people are chatty! (I love it!)

    TexasSD: I recall you saying you were coming to NYC. When?

    VC: Hurrah for not needing pins and surgery!

    TXSB: How are your swim lessons going?

  158. TexaSD says:

    Taz- I am working on it

  159. TexaSD says:

    Ok I am back

  160. Taz says:

    Hey TexaSd :) Not caught up on sleep yet?? lol

    Understood TXSB. I always feel a little ‘out of the loop’ too. I will more than likely be here on the blog too lol

    Hi Midwest!!

  161. Communication is always good…and recommended! I’m glad he can listen without seeing it as a fault or concern. You really do have a great one! Something else you could do is volunteer. Children’s hospitals, regular hospitals, hospice and homeless shelters can always use volunteers. It’s a reminder and a wonderful feeling to sit and let someone tell you their story. The people you help are always grateful.

  162. TXSB says:

    Night Coco.

  163. Coco says:

    Am off to bed…..Goodnight Sugars.

  164. TXSB says:

    Not much he can say LOL! His schedule (due to work and his marriage) isn’t negotiable and I knew that when we met. This was more of me just being frustrated. I’m all about “communication” so whether I’m excited or frustrated, I share it all with SD. You $ idea is good……I’ll definately consider it.

  165. TexaSD says:

    BRB in a few….

  166. TXSB says:

    Hmm…I just remembered my worst ever NYE….in Austin. College…went with a girl “friend” and got dumped at the last moment. Didn’t know anyone…gawd it sucked. The entire night I sat on the couch at the dorm hall (I was staying there with someone) and watched lame TV. :(

  167. Coco says:

    Taz – We’ll keep you entertained.

  168. Hi Taz!

    TXSB – What were his thoughts? You could turn this into a positive…I used to tend bar on NYE and the money was good, you were in the fun atmosphere, but out of the crowds!

    TexasSD – I’m great! I am feeling a little restless now that the summer is quickly fading. I found myself searching last minute travel deals for somewhere warm. How is my fave mystery sd? :-)

  169. Coco says:

    TexaSD – Well, i loved it. That was 6 years ago ( long time uh! ) when my SD & I took a short trip (SD at the time & he ended up becoming a BF )

  170. TXSB says:

    I’ve never really “celebrated” it either. But thanks to the stupid media and everyone around me having “plans”, I always get bummed. Last year I was dating someone so I went somewhere with him. But this year, looks like it’ll be me and the blog……..I may be talking to myself here the whole night!

  171. TexaSD says:

    Taz- How are you?

  172. TXSB says:

    I might’ve missed it but did you ever share where in TX you are?

  173. TXSB says:

    Yep, my plans for tomorrow night fell through b/c once again, my “friends” want to go to a hole in the wall bar that’s mainly patio and VERY casual (drinks served in plastic cups casual).


    LOL! It’s ok…..u’r super sweet and you get a free pass for giving me that visual the other night. :)

  174. Taz says:

    I would take a wonderful SD over NYE any day 😉 I have never really celebrated it much – never any big plans…got there just as midnight hit..was always working. Be happy TXSB!!

  175. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- lol omg, i can’t believe I missed that….

    Midwest- How are you?

    Coco- ahh, ok, what did you think when you were here?

  176. TXSB says:

    Midwest SB:
    Yes, I’m very grateful to have such a wonderful SD, but him being married does make it hard. In fact, I was talking to him about this a few days ago. The nights and weekends are very lonely for me….and even though our vacation will be nice, I will really miss having someone to spend NYE with.

  177. Taz says:

    TXSB says:
    November 12, 2009 at 8:41 am

    “NC Gent says:
    I actually prefer the “no response” form of no interest rather than a reply back. I don’t need to see it in writing.”

    I feel the same way. That’s why it never bothered me when I didn’t get a response. The message was still cryatal clear.

    ~~I echo that :)~~

    Anna – I love the two pics you have up too!!! Personally…I know, I know..as if you need any more advice 😛 I would prefer the second one first – you have a beautiful smile :) Maybe I am wrong…about the pics…not the smile…lol

    I’d like to thing I have good genes – had a baby and not one stretch mark 😀 man..was I worried about that 😛

    Congrats Anna – keep us up to speed 😉

    Welcome Felicity :)

    TXSB says:
    Now I need to rant for a bit:
    I need new “friends”. Plain and simple. WTH does everyone around me always want to go to “dive bars”?! What is it with everyone I know wanting to go to a place that serves drinks in frigging plastic cup?! :(
    OK rant over.

    I CONCUR!!!!

    Lol – I JUST ordered a pizza when I read your post Anna – lol….it has been sooo long – yum!

  178. Coco says:

    TexaSD – been there once and didn’t stay long enough to tour the city.

    TXSB – Same here….

  179. Hi Coco, Texas SD and TXSB!

    TXSB – I’m sure it’s tough being w/ a married sd, but you’ve got it pretty good. I’m sre you’ll forget about NYE when you’re swimming in the tropics :-)

  180. TXSB says:

    Date for New Years Eve. :) A man to kiss and cuddle with……hmm…I guess at this point, I might as well consider hot women too! 😉

  181. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- NYE date? what is that?

  182. TXSB says:

    Hi Coco….
    Yep….I’m usually up at least until midnight.

  183. Coco says:

    Hello TXSB…..didn’t know you were still up.

  184. TexaSD says:

    Coco- The Domain, you know Austin?

  185. TXSB says:

    *sigh* I need a NYE date. :(

  186. TXSB says:

    What did you get at California Pizza Kitchen? I looove their Chipotle pizza. :)

  187. Coco says:

    Hello Midwest SB, TexaSD & Rudy…..

    Been out for a few days…. guess i missed a lot.

    TexaSD – i love California pizza…which one did you go to?

  188. TexaSD says:

    TXSB-Chipolte, I didn’t even think of that, there is 1 by my house, but instead Anna got me in the mood for pizza. So I call Papa Johns, delivery time is at least 1 hour, so then I go down to California Pizza Kitchen. Now i feel so much better.

  189. Hmmm…wonder what the holidays hold for the sugar world?? Will people be searching for their New Year’s date or will it be quiet? I’m still mainting…into month two. Haven’t had a date but two are hoping to meet in the first week of Dec.

    I may need someone to kiss at midnight Dec 31st.

  190. TexaSD says:

    Anna- Sorry I just got back form dinner, nope I don’t watch south park

  191. Anna Molly – Careful about Unos…they have the best and worst deep dish…something like 3000 cals per slice!

    Hi Sugars!

  192. The Lone Gunman says:

    It’s not just on SA that folks have trouble getting noticed.

    A Dane and an Irish man are at the beach in Waikiki.

    All day the girls are hanging next to the Dane

    On the way home the Irish guy asks his Danish pal why the girls didnt even notice him.

    The Dane tells his buddy to “get rid of the boxer short swimsuit and like me a Speedo get.”

    The next day the girls are hanging on the Dane again and not even noticing the Irish man with the new Speedo.

    On the way home he again asks the Dane whats the problem with the girls not noticing him.

    The Dane says “a potato get and into your Speedo put it.”

    The next day still no luck, the girls are even staying further away from him. He can’t stand it anymore and asks the Dane what to do next.

    The Dane says “the potato, from the back to the front you should move it.”


  193. Anna Molly says:

    I’m going to bed now. I’ll see everyone in the morning :)
    Nite Nite

  194. Anna Molly says:

    TexaSD ~ Do you watch South Park?

  195. TXSB says:

    Anna: I had Chipotle….was starving so it tasted amazing! :)

    Hey Rudy!

  196. Rudy says:

    Hi TXSB ! I am here :) I am viewing profiles! fun times….

  197. RX8sb says:

    I am doing well TXsb, sorry hun, having a moment. My son got alittle cranky.

    Have a good night. might be back on later.

  198. TXSB says:

    Back….just had dinner.

    Err…did everyone leave? :(

  199. Anna Molly says:

    Go ahead, do it…you know you want to 😉

  200. TexaSD says:

    Anna- yes I can actually, debating on ordering 1 right now…

  201. Anna Molly says:

    TexaSD ~ Oh yeah, it was sooo goood. Can’t you taste it? MMMMMM

  202. TexaSD says:

    Anna- ohh pizza, now I really want some pizza lol….

  203. Anna Molly says:

    TexaSD ~ Uno’s Pizzeria

  204. TexaSD says:

    Anna- Unos? mexican?

  205. Anna Molly says:

    TexaSD ~ Uno’s did…lol

  206. Just Dee in NC says:

    Anna Molly, you have the most gorgeous smile!

  207. TexaSD says:

    Anna- Who cooked you or your husband? Now I am getting hungry…

  208. Anna Molly says:

    TexaSD ~ I went to eat :)

  209. Rudy says:

    Hi Everyone!

    Wow! I missed all the fun today :) I hope everyone is doing well. I have updated my profile again and would love to get some feedback from the SDs on here; you guys give great advice. If you are comfortable sharing your email I will send my profile number to you.

  210. cakepatty40 says:

    And one more thing- at dinner he gave me an envelope with 500 dollars in it. Why would he have done that if he didn’t intend to go forward.

  211. TexaSD says:

    OC, Laguna Seca, is at sonoma or moterry, i cant remember which, because the weekend I was there, we went to a race, then the monterry bay aquarium

  212. cakepatty40 says:

    Hi OC-

    I feel your pain. I had a very nice first date with a pot 2 days ago. Seemed to go well even though he never discussed the actual arrangement. As he walked me to my car he even held my hand. Gave me a hug and quick kiss and said he would be in touch that night to discuss going forward. And—-nothing since then. I figure he has poofed.

    I agree with you though- even if this guy did contact me tomorrow or next week he already has me wondering what kind of SD he would be.

    Guys- if you go on a date with a woman and don’t want to have an arrangement with her it wouldn’t hurt you to write back “I had a lovely time but I don’t think we are a good match”. We won’t fall apart.

    I know men hate to reject women but really SDs, we would appreciate it. In this case it would have saved me a few days of wondering. Of course I am not that dumb that I think there is still a chance- there isn’t. But I would have had so much respect for him as a human being if he did that.

  213. TexaSD says:

    Anna- where did you end up going?

  214. TexaSD says:

    I was gong to do it there too, but I ended up doing it at las Vegas.

    You know, you can camp there too 😉

  215. Anna Molly says:

    Thanks TexaSD :)
    It’s good to be back!

  216. TexaSD says:

    Anna- Welcome Back

  217. Anna Molly says:

    Has anyone here eaten at The Sea Grill at Rock Center? If so, what are your thoughts on the place?

  218. TexaSD says:

    OC- Which one? Fontana, Monterry, or Las Vegas?

  219. TexaSD says:

    RX8- How are you doing?

  220. NYGent says:

    Ok sugars, mom and sis arriving in a few from Ohio for the weekend, have to shut down for a while, will try to steal a glance when i can . . .

  221. Yaz10 says:

    OC: It sounds like he was serious about the arrangement and all so I would give a few more days to resurface. Maybe he had an emergency or something urgent came up at work that he has to take care of…You never know..But if he has a bberry or any smart phone where he can quickly check his emails then there is no excuse. He could shoot you a quick email in 2 mins if something important had happened…

  222. NYGent says:

    OC: i’m not following one thing: he said he would email next day (and didn’t, I got that), but then you left vm either that day or the next and in 2-3 days he hasn’t responded to that either?

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      NYGent, I called him Monday night. Sounds bad on my part. But he wanted me to reserve space for us in a driving class (high performance racing) for this weekend. Long story… He expected me to call with the info.

  223. TexaSD says:

    NYGent- ” because she now realizes SDs actually expect mutual benefits”

    Lol, I can’t tell you how many profiles of SB’s I have read that don’t really believe that…

  224. TXSB says:

    Off to take care of some stuff…..be back in an hour or so.


  225. RX8sb says:


    OMG’s I just heard a commercial..

    ‘pop a cookie and lose weight’ Sheesh what will they think of next. That is so pathetic.

    Running scans and checking the blogs.

  226. TXSB says:

    1) What are the most important thing’s you’ve learned in your sugar journey so far?

    I’ve learned that SB’s are not escorts. LOL….until I became a part of this “world”, I used to believe a lot of the stereotypes. But this site and this blog has taught me otherwise. Thanks to SD I’ve learned that there are good men out there who will do as they say.

    2) Do you like reviewing/critiquing profiles of fellow sugar daddies and sugar babies? Are there any ‘appropriate guidelines’ of criticism?

    Yes, I love looking at profiles and giving my two cents. The most important “guideline” when reviewing profiles is to remember to always express opinions in a respectful manner and never to use it as an opportunity for personal attacks.

  227. Anna Molly says:

    Just Dee ~ Oh yes, he is very sweet and charming.

    Hello everyone :)

  228. Yaz10 says:

    Hey rx8sb! :-)

  229. TXSB says:

    Hi! :)

  230. Yaz10 says:

    NYGent: Got ya!

  231. RX8sb says:

    Wow there are alot online now. ok I didn’t look up far enough…

    Hello TXsb, Yaz, OC, and TexaSD… I think that is everyone.

  232. RX8sb says:

    Hello NY Gent.

    Is why I am glad that so far my newer handle is unique. As there are very few people who actually own those cars. *crosses fingers* now hopefully I didn’t jinx myself.

  233. RX8sb says:

    Hello everyone. I haven’t been on the blog for awhile. How is everyone. I was wondering does SA allow you to change your profile handle??

    I am going through my stuff here and wanting to make sure nothing is ‘searchable’ And so far I have everything changed yet after checking it does link to me.

    And on the blog question, I can’t really honestly answer till I have actually had an arrangement.

    So on to the critique.. Always welcome to critique others or mine own. Second input is always saught after. What you don’t notice could mean no emails.

    I re-linked my profile. Also tried to get a new one to see if there was a difference. besides the usual tons of view there was no activity change between my old profile or the newer one I created.

    I deleted the newer one as having two is too much of a bother. Though I did manage to dig up some more photo’s of myself from one of my cally trips. So it wasn’t a total loss.

  234. NYGent says:

    Yaz: i don’t think it was due to flakes and weirdos. I just think she concluded the whole mutual benefits deal isn’t her thing, makes her too queasy.

  235. NYGent says:

    I meant TexaSD yeah i’m the one.

    between TexaSD vs. TXSB, NC Gent vs. NY Gent, New SB in SB vs. New SB in NC, etc. it’s a little confusing at times . . .

  236. Yaz10 says:

    OOps I meant * I hear you OC!* :-)

  237. TXSB says:

    LOL…..yep….my offer to fly to NYC still stands. :)

    Now I need to rant for a bit:
    I need new “friends”. Plain and simple. WTH does everyone around me always want to go to “dive bars”?! What is it with everyone I know wanting to go to a place that serves drinks in frigging plastic cup?! :(
    OK rant over.

  238. Yaz10 says:

    NYGent: Oh ok! so she wasn’t for the mutual benefits part? Or maybe she had her share of flakes and weirdos ( like me) who scared her away?

  239. Yaz10 says:

    I hear OC!

    NYGent, we, well at least I won’t say anything else about her. :-) You are the one who knows her best and we only know what you told us happened earlier. Like I said earlier I am sure it will work out for the best. :-)

  240. NYGent says:

    yaz, i don’t think she is influenced by whether i am pursuing other SBs, she is no longer even on the site and basically says she made a mistake entering it as she only thought it sounded good on paper but in reality has realized it’s different (because she now realizes SDs actually expect mutual benefits)

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Mutual benefits for all!

      Ok, my saga on my Pot from Sunday. We had a lovely time he even made an offer of an arrangement before we finished lunch! Spent several more hours laughing and taking our drive up the coast. We parted ways and even exchanged a txt confirming my arriving home safely. Then…. nothing. No communication from him at all. At lunch, I was not prepared or ready to discuss the arrangement details. We both laughed shared a kiss after he proposed the idea. I did let him know that I interested. Just before we parted he told me that he would send me an email the next day outlying his proposed arrangement for my consideration. I told him that was a lovely idea. He has the means wealth and sincerity. His status in the community is one that can be validated. He did fudge 4 years off his age. But quickly fessed up to it. I was okay with the confession.
      Now…he is MIA. No idea what happened. However, I am sure he will surface again, but I prefer a gentleman who can consider my feelings. Yes, it has only been 4 days. Nevertheless, an unanswered voicemail from three days ago is not considering my feelings. He is not married so it takes but a minute to either txt or shoot a quick call back. Ahhh, yes mistakes I have made many. I have learned many sugar lessons with my successful SD arrangements’ and pot failures.

  241. NYGent says:

    remember the scene in Spartacus: “I’m spartacus.” I hope everyone does not start blogging, “No, I’m the stupid one!”

    yes tXSB i was the one. And yes OC we shouldn’t be too harsh on her. She is actually quite sweet and shy, my reports of her statements are characterizations which are accurate in substance but not her actual tone.

  242. Yaz10 says:

    LOL I am referring to something TXSB said last night 😀

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Yaz, I know you were kidding. Sugar is a sugar is a sugar. Maybe she is a diamond in the rough. I for one am rooting for her! I love the underdog story.

  243. Yaz10 says:

    OC you mean the nice guy is the one who is MIA? :-(

  244. TexaSD says:

    OC- lol

  245. Yaz10 says:

    NYGent I think that everything will work out for the best. If she starts acting up again just leave little hints that she is “not all that” and you might have your eyes on other sbs who are really interested in who you are as a person and I guarantee you that she will realize how quickly she can lose you and give you all the attention you need and deserve. Or just call TXSB and she will fly to NYC and put her in her place lol 😉

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Oh Yaz that is kinda harsh, I am sure you were kidding! We don’t even know this girl. Not really fair of us to judge her…

  246. TexaSD says:

    NYGent- now I remember, it was you saying you did something stupid? or maybe someone else?

  247. NYGent says:

    J. Dee, no, it’s just, as i’ve said, a long shot.

  248. Just Dee in NC says:

    NYGent, has something changed since last night?

  249. TexaSD says:

    NYGent- lol

  250. atxchick says:

    OC… good idea about the wish list! This next month is going to FLY by… Don’t you just hate flakes (regardless of how many it might be)?

  251. TexaSD says:

    Cleo, On the definitions, I would say if your making mid 6 figures, you should own more than a few houses though… incase you lose your job, you don’t have to work, just cut back lol..

  252. NYGent says:

    as in “to the cleaners . . .”

  253. TexaSD says:

    Cleo- ya, know you why lol… Ya i like my work, It keeps me busy, and its the few times where older people actually stop and listen to me lol. I would get maybe both, because believe it or not, you need 1 degree to get in the door, and the 2nd to determine what you know, So I would go for the Masters in International Business, then maybe IR. not exactly 100% sure though when I will do it. Ya things can go from good to holy hell, i can’t believe I breathing quickly… What is your passion?

  254. NYGent says:

    ah yes, boston was NEOhio

    thanks Dee. “Taken” is an overstatement, though, given my trials and tribulations. Or maybe you meant I’ve “been taken?”

  255. Just Dee in NC says:

    On the verge. Geez, my brain and my fingers aren’t communicating tonight.

  256. cleo says:

    okay have a good night, am off to drive a friend to her pet’s last vet visit.

    so someone do something fun and think of me okay?

  257. Just Dee in NC says:

    Now NYGent, how can any of us be on the very of a pretty awesome SD, when you’re pretty much taken? 😉

  258. NYGent says:

    Sorry OC, then who is it? And I thought you had (or were on the verge of) a pretty awesome SD?

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      NYGent…I am having a slew of flakes. Okay only two. My date from Sunday is MIA. But can’t let it get me down. Many more pots to chat with. Taking my time and making my “wish list for Santa”…

  259. TexaSD says:

    Felicity- :Your in London? I used to live In SW3 (Chelsea) if you know where paradise road is, let me know 😉

  260. cleo says:

    TexaSD: oh my, that sounds like a hell of a combination. what would you get your masters in? i see now why you work around elections at least.

    i started out saving and being smart and got in a car accident and life went sideways. funny how it works huh?

    i am trying to figure out how to turn my passion into a more money making business without selling out. haven’t got it yet. you are lucky enough to be interested in your work too?

    i made those definitions up on the spot, feel free to correct them :)

  261. TXSB says:

    Oh oh…..*hits self*. I’m retarded. I didn’t realize it was an “arrangement” b/t them. Makes sense. I know someone who did it too…..tell them to be careful and do their homework. Good luck to them! :)

  262. NYGent says:

    Felicity: I agree with those who say the pic in the red dress is quite nice. The face shot is a little blurry, but maybe that is intentional? For good measure I would add a third photo too.
    Short profile texts are better than the ultra-long ones, but yours maybe could use a little more detail and fleshing out, my two cents.
    Also because you are in London (at least I think it said that), you may wish to speak to the travel issue vis a vis the U.S. if that’s what you’re looking for. . .

  263. TexaSD says:

    VC- have a nice dinner.

  264. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- well thats what I know about her, I don’t Speak Vietnamese, and I have only seen a picture, she is 29 and he is 25.

  265. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- nothing is wrong with her, she is ok looking, not my type, but He doesn’t really care. For him, its 25k and 2 years of marriage.

  266. TexaSD says:

    VC- lol I feel stupid, I googled it, So sorry for sounded like an idiot..

  267. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- not married yet, We were in Houston getting Passport, and Visa’s for Vietnam.

    Cleo- I have a BA in International Affairs, a BA in International Business. and I am thinking about going for the masters (need it to get better jobs) most of my work is contractual. However I have saved and been smart with my money and I am doing pretty good, I am not in the mid to high 6 figures (yet) although I do have good equity

  268. VillaCypris says:

    texaSD – si – mpls/st paul = twin cities

    off to dinner! ciao for now!!

  269. cleo says:

    NYGent: awesome, thanks… i thought so too.

    have to find something different but good that the blog hasn’t rejected already… tall order ;>

  270. NYGent says:

    cleo: finally found it. yes, the new one on the floor is vg and better than the other floor shot, which I agree should now be replaced to add some variety as the two are essentially similar poses.

  271. TXSB says:

    Wow…..he got 25k to marry her? Was anything “wrong” w/ her? They still married?

  272. cleo says:

    OCS: hmmm

    wishful thinking – making less than six figures, married, and thinks he can afford an SB

    comfortable – making six figures and not an idiot about savings and a little equity.

    really comfortable: making six figures (or just seven) and has decent equity (like more than one house)

    rich: making (at least) high six figures to low seven figures and has a lot to back him up equity wise.

    really rich: making seven or more figures and has her own plane or thereabouts

    wealthy: work is for peasants


    that do?
    TexaSD: ah, you come from the memory of money which means you always knew you had the capacity to make it. am guessing you got well edumacated too :)
    VC i will totally get that next time i order books, thanks!

    ahh books, so much more addictive than shoes…

  273. TexaSD says:

    VC- you are in Minneapolis? is that Near St Paul?

    TXSB- lol, I know I know I meant to say the Owners of it, My friend is always willing to marry for money, they were going to pay him about 25k. He met the Uncle in SA, he owns a nailshop there I think, I can’t remember.

  274. atxchick says:

    TexaSD- ya… unfortunately the shopping here is slim to none, but hey I have a bath and body works to work with. HAHA! Was your friend inebriated ? Should have stayed, it might be a small town, but the college kids know how to party.

  275. TXSB says:

    “TexaSD says:
    My friend was going to marry the niece of the vietnamese food place in the mall”

    I don’t know why but this made me laugh really hard…. :)

    Hi Everyone!
    Sitting at home a bit bummed. Thursday’s are usually my 1 “evening date” night w/ SD but he’s at a family event so no date for me tonight. :(

  276. VillaCypris says:

    i know, OC :) thank you. same! i’m sure i’d garner more interest if i were not in minneapolis….

  277. VillaCypris says:

    i was told i had a great match for me…. but he has yet to contact me…. so…. i’ve been waiting….

  278. TexaSD says:

    Niece of the Owners**

  279. VillaCypris says:

    yes ma’am…. it’s still up… no one likes me tho 😉 dohhhhhhhhhhh

  280. TexaSD says:

    ATX- omg the mall was the worst, I walked from 1 side to the other side in about 2 minutes. My friend was going to marry the niece of the vietnamese food place in the mall, lol. I saw the school, it was probably the only decent thing in the whole city. No, I didn’t have fun, that night i just ended up Driving to Houston and went out there.

  281. atxchick says:

    TexaSD- haha! crap of a town, huh? Did you have fun?

  282. TexaSD says:

    Cleo- not born with it, but thats because my great-grandma had to split it with a lot of siblings, (she was 1 of 4) then she had 2 sons and obviously they had kids. However, all of my brothers (except 1) do very well. I would say self made, but i have been lucky.

  283. TexaSD says:

    Atx- Yes, my friend went there out by houston, I was just there about 1 month ago

  284. VillaCypris says:

    no ma’am….

    cleo – go read Last of the Old Guard by Louis Auchincloss. old money / new money dichotomy. i read it in 1996. interesting insights.

  285. atxchick says:

    UNT is outside of Dallas. SFASU… ever heard of it?

  286. VillaCypris says:


  287. VillaCypris says:

    texaSD – haha nooooooo SMU is in dallas,,,, you’re thinking GMU – george mason u in Fairfax, VA? or GWU in DC….

  288. atxchick says:

    SMU is in Dallas… Southwestern? is in Georgetown. haha this guessing thing is hilarious, proves that it’s not a well known school. Which is weird because it’s a state school.

  289. cleo says:

    OCSugarbaby: based on your experiences would i be helped by shortening mine?

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Cleo, short or long it is up to you. However I do feel it is good to change it up. See what it brings and refresh your pictures now and again.

      Villa? Did you keep the shortened version of your profile up?

  290. cleo says:

    TexaSD: wrong end of the country i’m afraid. too bad because i’m pretty sure that, if nothing else, you would be excellent company over beer.

    so what would you say the greatest hrm… unexpected benefit of being young and well off actually is? because i’m sure the answer is different if you are older and well off.

    okay now i want anyone with money to answer… and i’m curious if you are self-made or born to it. i think being born with money has different advantages and implications than making it yourself. hmm and it’s different again if you’re born to it and still make it on your own.

    hmm is that a rude question now?

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Cleo, what is your definition of wealth? SD’s come in all shapes and $izes. Some profiles list an income range of $75k-100k, some are in the 1 million + and there are many some where in between.

  291. TexaSD says:

    SMU, i think is in Georgetown, but I guess that would fit too, good job VC

  292. TexaSD says:

    Atx- lol I was trying… but your probably right…

  293. VillaCypris says:

    SMU? :)

  294. atxchick says:

    TexaSD- Baylor, really? I go to a college you have probably NEVER heard before… but I applaud you for your educated guess.

  295. TexaSD says:

    Cleo- or If you are in Vancouver BC, we can meet up, I will be there Saturday-December 1st

  296. TexaSD says:

    Cleo- Well at the moment, we can shoot the breeze here, lol

  297. cleo says:

    TexaSD: okay now i want to come hang out with you and see what kind of experiences you choose to have in your life *g*

  298. Teena says:

    OCSugarbaby: ok! so just state in here i want to share my email?


    Is that good?


  299. cleo says:

    OCSugarbaby: i’m very curious about your profile, are you willing to share it off the blog? i sorta get the sense that you don’t want to publish it on the blog… but i like the responses you get and would like to see what you say.

    if yes then Stephan please give my email address to OCSugarbaby if she asks for it.. thanks!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Hi Cleo, my profile is very short! Just a few lines and to the point. Great marketing strategy, at least it works for me. Not much to read. You are right, I like my anonymity :)

  300. VillaCypris says:

    I think most of the “real” people are on the blog….. i have some wonderful friendships from here….

    thanks cleo. not sure how long, maybe 3-4 weeks…

  301. TexaSD says:

    Cleo- (although in the case of a rich younger man i suspect that the freedom and experiences permitted with riches mitigate that somewhat.)

    So True lol….

  302. atxchick says:

    Villacypris- No worries! Hope your wrist will heal fast! You’re very lucky you didn’t have to get pins or plates. I did! I looked like a girl frankenstein for 6 weeks. It was absolutely horrible. Hope they gave you some good drugs to ease the pain.

  303. cleo says:

    TexaSD: i have no idea how old she is, but also younger than i am methinks.

    i agree with you about ‘up to a certain point’ … like i could have a man ten/ twelve years younger or fifteen (maybe twenty) years older but after that i would start feeling like we didn’t have as much to say to each other.

    there is something to be said for similarity of life stage (although in the case of a rich younger man i suspect that the freedom and experiences permitted with riches mitigate that somewhat.)
    VC: yeah well, i can’t do anything useful until you aren’t casted and are permitted to do physio. mostly (since you’re far away) i can give you some useful advice.

  304. TexaSD says:

    Texas state and SA seemed to fit thought, but I guess Baylor and Dallas could have just as easiily

  305. TexaSD says:

    Atx- I was positive on that 1 lol

  306. VillaCypris says:

    atxchick – my apologies – WELCOME to you, too :)

  307. VillaCypris says:

    thanks OC! me, too. it felt better this morning, but when he squeezed my wrist and manipulated the already broken bone, it was excruciating. :( i didnt start crying til he left the cast room tho, i think i was in shock.

    yeah, no crash since 1991…i dont pay attention for a second – literally – and voila.

  308. Teena says:

    OCSugarbaby: Thank you i will take your advice. If i want to contact you for any questions how do i go about that? Wow I am showing how new i am here!!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Teena: Just post on the blog and I will answer your post or we can have Stephan the Blog Master share our emails with each other. That way we don’t have to post our email addresses on the blog. Just post that you want to have Stephan share your email with me. We were all new at one point.
      Villa and I have been on the blog… well let’s just say longer than most but not as long as a few others. LOL

  309. atxchick says:

    TexasSD- That’s a shame! I guess too many multiple choice and true false questions got to you? You got the Austin part right.

  310. TexaSD says:

    Atx- Well I am getting older, my guessing skills are diminishing lol

  311. Teena says:

    VillaCypris: everyone here seems so warm and friendly, I can see how friends can be made:)

    I’m honestly surprised at how much i am enjoying this site. I’m really excited to get my first meet with a SD or SM.:)

  312. TexaSD says:

    Cleo- I am about the same age as TXSB. at least I think i am, give or take a year maybe 2.

  313. atxchick says:

    TexasSD- SOOOOO close on the locations, but you only got one correct.

    Just Dee in NC- I’m trying so hard not to over analyze, but it’s in my nature… maybe this is a blessing in disguise.

    Thanks for the advice, I’ll give updates

  314. VillaCypris says:

    hi OC !! hope all is well in cali! ready to go to miami for the superbowl??? 😉

  315. TexaSD says:

    Cleo- I think everyone knows your age and appearance can differ greatly, so to me, its not so much a big deal. And sometimes I am just curious too lol. Age to a certain point, isn’t a deal killer to me.

  316. VillaCypris says:

    cleo – thanks for your offer earlier! :) not sure how long the cast will be on… i wasnt prepared for the fracture to be reduced without anesthesia. it REALLY HURT :(

  317. VillaCypris says:

    Welcome Teena! Remember that the anonymity of cyberspace allows people to easily be someone they are not. Be cautious always, and never compromise your safety. I’ve made some really good friends on this site, mostly from the blog, and mostly wonderful women!

  318. cleo says:

    Yaz10: *blush* you guys are helping my lil ego out enormously today! i think the best advice i would give anyone is to drink way more water than they think they need…
    2chic and ECfilly: it is all in the genes for sure, i bless my italian father every day for my sun loving skin and for my cheekbones and for the fact that he’s in his 70’s and still attractive. so long as i don’t get fat i’ll look pretty good i think.

    wow egotistical much?
    TexaSD you’re younger than i am i think? why would you want or not an older sb?

  319. TexaSD says:

    Teena- BDSM cool… lol

  320. Teena says:

    OCSugarbaby: Thank You for the warm welcome!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      You are welcome Teena. Waiting it out has never been my style. I tried to read as much as I could in the past blogs. Viewing other SB’s profiles. Then I fine tuned my profile to reflect an image which would set me apart from other SB’s in my area. I was honest and sincere in what I wrote. I did change my profile verbiage from week to week just to try a different approach.
      Talking to others via the blog is a great way to ask specific questions. The SB’s who have some insight or knowledge are always willing to answer your posts. Make your search and sugar adventure your own. No one person’s style will be a one fit wonder! Trial and error. But use caution and command respect. Shout out to me if you have any specific q’s. I will always lend an ear! ~OC

  321. Teena says:

    TexasSD: Thanks for the response…well I can wait it out. however, reading lot of these blogs I am wondering how i can weed the bad out from the good. just the same what it is that pleases these SD. What I can do to stand out from the rest. The type of responses I am receiving are more of the BDSM relationship, which i am fine with but just not off the bat. That is something I feel i need to get to know someone before i submit.

  322. Just Dee in NC says:

    Anna Molly, do tell!!! Is he as charming as the real Father Ralph we all fell in love with years ago?

    Felicity, you are simply stunning. Welcome to the blog!

    ATxChick, he’s out of town on business and may have to go to a different city this weekend? He could have a meeting with a potential SB, or he could legitimately have work that has to be taken care of in this other city. Don’t overanalyse yet. Pay attention, but give him the benefit of the doubt. It’s early days, and if he’s a rat, he’ll prove it soon enough. On the other hand, you don’t want to overreact in case this detour trip is truly a business trip.

  323. TexaSD says:

    Quick question, anyone in Vancouver BC?

  324. TexaSD says:

    Atx- and if thats not true, well something similar, without the specific locations lol

  325. TexaSD says:

    ATX- I am guessing you are in Austin, your school is in Texas State, and the nearby city is SA (San Antonio)? I would guess if the above is true, he is either planning on being very busy in SA, or he is setting up meeting a SB there and is not sure if either A. he will go threw with it. or B. she will go threw with it. As to wether he likes you, ( if you think he had a good time with you, your probably right he did, but he isn’t ready to make any commitment without checking a few other stores first). Again, I am just guessing… Who knows the actually truth lol

    Teena- Although, I have no idea what you been getting, I think there would be a consensus from the SB’s that don’t expect anything off the bat, and just wait it out

  326. atxchick says:

    Hey everyone! I am popping my blog cherry! I have been reading and I suppose lurking for a couple of weeks off and on. I know, SCARY! Anyway, I am reaching out for advice. Help please?

    Here’s the deal:
    I live in a college town and went home last weekend, while I was there I met a potSD. We had a lot of fun. He said he wanted to see me this coming weekend again. He is in another state for business right now and he is supposed to come back into town tomorrow. I just got a text from him saying hello and asked him if we were still on for this weekend. He said he won’t know until tomorrow (which is when I will be driving back to see him) and that he might have to go to another city, which is an easy driving distance from me (he is aware) but did not say “meet me there instead of what we had planned”. I almost feel like he doesn’t want to see me. Am I wrong? Am I thinking too much into it? Just wanted to hear/read your insight on the situation.

  327. Teena says:

    I am very new to Sugarland. Any suggestions tips? I am really hoping to find a great SD. the responses i have gotten so far have been a little scary. can you help?

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Welcome Teena! So, you are looking for tips to find a great SD? Join in the blog fun. Ask specific questions is you have them, otherwise I would read some of the really old blogs as far back as you can go! The original blogs back in 2008 are full of good information. Enjoy!

  328. TexaSD says:

    Whoa, i think we are alone. lol Its pretty quiet in here.

  329. TexaSD says:

    ya it can. thats what gets me in the door. I suggest at least 2, but would always prefer 3 from a SB profile, usually anything less and I am not sure if the person is real… and always put in your profile that you can supply maybe just a few more, I have read a lot of profiles saying that won’t supply any pics at all, because of pic collectors. Which to be honest, i won’t contact a SB who puts that, because i am not sure that they are real. lol

  330. Anna Molly says:

    Changing my photos has made a world of difference for me :)

  331. TexaSD says:

    I am ok. I just got home, checking email, I got 1 today from the site, and thought I would check out the blog.

  332. Anna Molly says:

    I’m goooooood :)
    and you?

  333. TexaSD says:

    lol, Ya 1 time i went to dinner and when i came back, there was at least 100 new responses, so how are you?

  334. Anna Molly says:

    I think we’re alone ;)..lol

  335. Anna Molly says:

    I have a hard time keeping up myself. You walk away for a few hours and so much happens you have a hard time catching up. :)

  336. TexaSD says:

    I haven’t read the whole blog yet, mainly because there is already like over 300 responses (if not more) lol

  337. TexaSD says:

    Anna- Us non wicked folk… lol

  338. Anna Molly says:

    Who needs sleep….lol

  339. TexaSD says:

    Anna- Lol, not really, just a little busy, and trying sometimes to catch up on sleep

  340. Anna Molly says:

    Hey TexaSD! You’ve been hiding on us :)

  341. Anna Molly says:

    Felicity ~ Welcome! I agree with Red, the picture of you in the dress is very nice indeed. I too think that maybe you should think about what kind of arrangement you are looking for and express that in your profile :)

  342. TexaSD says:

    D Dubs- I am younger than you, but seriously there is some pretty nice looking women here around your age, and younger, I have noticed a few really amazing 30+ year old women, if you want, I would be happy to share some profile numbers, (although if you browse as much as I do, you will probably have seen a few of them) lol

  343. Felicity says:

    RM,2C – thank you so much. Its so hard to know how to ‘pitch’ yourself without turning it into a huge twisty essay.

    I must learn to be patient then! Hope you’re all very successful in this & I can learn from your fab-ness!


  344. RedMaru says:

    Welcome Felicity 😀 love your pics especially the dress. Your descriptive paragraph about yourself is fine you might want to think about what you want in a pot SD and illustrate that in the second paragraph

  345. 2Chic says:

    IMO…I think it looks nice, and tasteful. You are very beautiful, poised and the profile reflects it.

  346. Felicity**408811** says:

    Hello lovely SB / SDs, I’m pretty new to the site & wondered if perhaps you guys/girls could help me?

    I’ve had zilch interest in my profile & wondered if you’d mind taking a look & perhaps offering some advice? I’d be hugely grateful…

    Have just found the blogs today & they’re fab! I hope you don’t mind me joining in.


  347. always2sweet says:

    I am pretty confident about how young I will look as I age. My mom was an absolute knock out. And actually people think I am still a teenager now, which is pretty irritating, but I will take it if it means Im going to age like my mom!

  348. 2Chic says:

    Dee n NC, honi … you are absolutely “fierce” > you go girl!

  349. RealisticSD says:

    I agree that what you look like matters much more than your age in number of years.

  350. cleo says:

    NYGent: weird, it’s approved to me…

  351. Anna Molly says:

    Just Dee in NC ~ I had a great time with Father Ralph :)

  352. Margo says:

    D-Dubs – that depends on kind of relationships you are looking for. You can find a GF close to your age at match com, or a SB of any age you like at SA.

    Considering a guy of any age, I want to see what could I get from a potential relationship. Is a serious relationship possible, would I be interested in that? Mutually beneficial? If a guy cannot offer at least one of those two, most probably I would get physical with him. But we still can be friends.

    Most of the men I met at traditional websites were not interesting at all, and I heard lots of complaints from men regarding quality of women they find there.

  353. Just Dee in NC says:

    I’m 50, and the last time I got carded was just 10 years ago. If I’m out somewhere with my daughter and grandson, people think they’re both my kids. (When she takes of her great big diamond and wedding ring, my daughter can easily pass for a teenager.)

    A big shout-out to my Welsh grandmothers, who passed down these fabulous genes. I’m exceedingly fair-skinned, so I have always stayed out of the sun and been overly cautious when in the sun. Now add to that the fact that I haven’t gone through menopause yet – something about your body making its own hormones does more to keep your skin looking young than if you take replacement hormones.

    Most people who try to guess my age make a guess between 35 and 40. I figure I have a few more years of not looking my age. :-)

    And I don’t intend to ever ACT it.

  354. RedMaru says:

    no wrinkles…yet I’m 32 though
    Hell my aunt is in fifties and she doesn’t have wrinkles

  355. Yaz10 says:

    Lol 2chic ok I believe you 😉

  356. Yaz10 says:

    The 50 year old who doesnt have one % of body fat on him and looks like a 25 year old because he takes care of himself…Nobody read that?

  357. 2Chic says:

    Yaz10, hmmmmm ….. “You” know when you see it.

  358. Yaz10 says:

    TXSB: Thats exactly what I meant by “If you take care of yourself then your age won’t show at all”

  359. EastCoastFilly says:

    Yes Yaz unfortunately it is.

    TXSB, yes you are correct healthy living is key, I am proof but I also fried in the sun since my teens because back then we didn’t know the risks. As of the past 7-8 yeas I still lay out but cover my face very cautiously. Experts say all the damage is done before age 25 so luckily It hasn’t shown up yet so I can only blame genetics. My parents look very young as well.

  360. TXSB says:

    Yes, everyone will get “old and wrinkly” one day. Personally, I’d rather that “one day” be when I’m in my 50’s/60’s etc. then when I’m in my 30’s. For me it’s not about preventing it……but delaying it as long as possible.

  361. Yaz10 says:

    Laugh lines, crows feet, stretch marks, wrinkles are all part of the aging process. No amount of “good gene” will slow that down. We will all get old and wrinkly one day isn’t that right?

  362. Yaz10 says:

    2Chic…So who has that good gene and who doesnt have it? 😉

  363. Yaz10 says:

    I am good guys. :-) Thanks for the hug NCGent!

    The topic of age and hotness makes me think of this 50 year old ex marine capt who comes all the time at work. Gosh, the man is HOT! And I mean “would rip his clothes off in a min” HOT! lol He has all the young and older women throwing themselves at him lol He uses our gym everytime he is here and he watches what he eats. He may be 50 but he has the body of a 25 year old. Did I say he had a killer smile too? 😉 And the guy is soo sweet to everybody. That’s to say that older men are hot and you don’t need millions of dollars to have young girls throwing themselves at you, a nice personality and a well kept figure help! Same thing for older women who take care of their figure. They are not the least bit worried about younger girls because they take pride in taking care of their bodies.

  364. TXSB says:

    Although genes do play a major role in whether or not a woman looks her age….in my experience lifestyles also plays a major role. Most of the women I know IRL who look their age or older usually spend quite a bit of time in the sun (even if not tanning, they’re spending time outdoors in the sun), they either smoke OR are regularly around smokers, and also consume alcohol regularly. Their diet/lifestyle is also very unhealthy (lots of desserts/sodas/sweet drinks/junk food….many late nights partying hence not enough sleep etc).

  365. EastCoastFilly says:

    don’t worry about the wrinkles comment, I have a few friends younger than me who look like hell, lol. Its partly how you take care of yourself but mostly bad genetics, just the way it is.

    Everyone has their preferences. If its not you..move along. For every wrinkle on a woman….theres a big ole pot belly on a man

  366. 2Chic says:

    Yaz10, I don’t know about that, I live in CA, and I come across a lot of women who go to the extreme of taking care of themselves, but some are developing wrinkles. the crows feet, laugh lines, and neck. I am like EC Filly, it is in the genes, it doesn’t matter what skin shade, either you have the gene or not.

  367. NYGent says:

    realistic: i assume you meant challenge is “making you more desirable to her” and I agree with that . . .

    hope you didn’t step in it over the wrinkles comment . . .

  368. EastCoastFilly says:

    Hey Yaz. Feeling better today :)

  369. NC Gent says:

    Hey Yaz — huge hugs :)

  370. TXSB says:

    LOL @ “close inspection”. I’m blind folding you from now on when you’re near me…..gawd knows my skin is far from perfect! 😉

  371. Yaz10 says:

    Black, white, Asian…It doesnt matter..If you take care of yourself well then your age won’t show at all. I know 20 something years old who let themselves go so badly that it looks like they have already had 4 or 5 kids. And then look at Cleo’s body…Enough said.
    Just take care of yourselves ladies and it will definitely show. :-)

    Good Morning Sugar Fam!

  372. EastCoastFilly says:

    me too 2chic, no wrinkles, I’m white but of european decent, we got good genes :)
    Former athlete, no fat to pinch, nothing hangs or droops…yet, lol.

  373. NC Gent says:

    The hottest pot-SB I ever had a date with was 37. If you take care of yourself, the age doesn’t really matter that much to me.

  374. NYGent says:

    cleo it says profile under review, i’ll check later

  375. 2Chic says:


    I love my skin, no wrinkles here, not every mature woman wrinkle, well at least not in my family…..lol. Mixed Exotic Black Woman.

  376. RedMaru says:

    Hey 2Chic
    Too true what you said

  377. RealisticSD says:

    The oldest SB I met was my age (mid 30s). She was youthful, but on close inspection, she had too many wrinkles especially whenever she smiled and I just could not get over that. Now if she was perfect in every other way, I would overlook it.

  378. 2Chic says:

    EC Philly,

    You know it is so true, I received an email from a very fine gentleman (late 40s), in his profile he stated his desired age range was 25 to early thirties. I reminded him of that, he immediately said that I was the “whole” package. No dis to the young babes. It is how about taking care of yourself, and loving “you”.

  379. NC Gent says:

    Hey A2Sweet — remember – we are always our on worst critics. I had a sugar date earlier this year with a young lady who had lost about 50 pounds — she was self-conscious about her lil tummy (pooch as she called it) that remained — I didn’t even notice it — I thought she looked great and she was worried I wouldn’t like her because of it. Just focus on the positive that you lost the weight and don’t be tough on yourself!

  380. EastCoastFilly says:

    dying to chime in on the age thing since I am older as well, mid to upper thirties. I always dated younger men because physically we were a better match, intellectually though I’ve been struggling with them as of late.

    I had to be open to older men when I signed up here. I am really happy to say that sexually my whole life has been way better because of it. And where I thought I would have nothing in common with a man older, I still do. I was open to meeting any age as long as the guy was athletic and somewhat fit (not 20 yrs ago, but now). I also, amazingly, found that almost all the guys emailing me were early 40 to late 40s. Most said they preferred a more mature girl. For all the reasons listed above by a few posters. Not to knock young girls but we have experience in life and other things, confidence and a could care less what others think attitude that can’t be topped and the sexual peak thing is so true, good lord!

    Even for those SDs who didn’t consider someone older, usually when they meet someone who is their physical ideal it won’t matter what age they are. If your body and face can rival any 25 yr old, enough said! I’ve gotten a lot of younger ones too because of how I look but I really haven’t pursued it. They all want playthings for nothing. So for all you girls who think your too old or out of the running…don’t worry you are someones cup of tea!

    About the poster who asked why we as older SBs would not rather use an e-har-ony type service, well I can only speak for myself. I have tried all those in the past. They are a joke, after a couple months if you even get that far the guys flake or bail anyway so your left hanging out to dry with empty promises of a future. Here theres most likely an end but at least you get some security out of it. Most of us older gals have already been successful in careers and may not need the money but for some of us, like myself, we encounter tragedies in life that force us to seek outside help. I won’t ever be specific but what I deal with is way beyond my control and I am left with the pieces to pick up so I ended up here looking for help along with companionship because everyone needs a little lovin’.

  381. 2Chic says:

    Don’t beat your self up, no one on this site is perfect. I believe your attitude about yourself will gravitate outward to those around you. Some times people do not even noticed things until we make them zoom in on it. I was straight with my previous CM (candy-man), I was like ” look I have blah,blah, blah…t” if you don’t like it , oh well. He came back with his imperfections, we both laughed until we cried.

    I prefer to call my guys CM…..the daddy thing creeps me out. I am a mother.

  382. RedMaru says:

    I’m back What I miss?

  383. cleo says:

    James: let me see, do i mind that a thoughtful, articulate man who is willing to let us see his emotional self and share his ideas thinks that my profile is terrific and that i have an amazingly fit physique…?

    hmm… i’m gonna have to think about that one

    i am really glad to hear that my profile comes across that way because that is essentially exactly the reaction i want. thank you for your good wishes and please allow me to return them!

  384. James says:

    Cleo, I hope you don’t mind, I took a look and I think your profile is terrific. It gives a good sense of who you are as a person, in a light but sincere way. It’s thoughtfully written without being overwritten (well, maybe you could trim one paragraph from the what you’re looking for section). The photos show your eyes and smile and your amazingly fit physique, without being in the least inappropriate. Best of luck to you!

    NYGent, I’m glad to hear you’ve reduced your downside exposure financially. But if this is what you want, if this makes you happy, go for it. If you’re entranced by her, you’re getting what you bargained for. Maybe you’ll regret it later, maybe you won’t, so what? That’s the risk we all take every time we try with anyone. As long as you’ve got it set now so you won’t feel ripped off if it doesn’t work out, why not? Bon chance!

  385. 2Chic says:

    I know ..right?

    I admire a nice body, gorgeous face, but sorry, I don’t care what he is packing in the bank, I do not want to raise a grown man. I can look and not want it in the least. I think that set us apart from a lot of SD on the site, you end up educating more than you set out to.

  386. always2sweet says:

    I dont remember who said it before, but someone said that they liked or older men might prefer SBs in their 20s b/c of our physical appearance and openness. This is actually a HUGE concerne of mine in SB/SD world, b/c my body isnt perfect at all, far from. And I always feel like I am getting passed up by SDs b/c they dont want an SB that is not physically perfect, or I’m nervous to meet a pot SD for that reason. I dont think this is the case with every SD, but I think the majority would say that Im not their ideal body type. I dont want to go into a ton of detail about what exactly about my body sucks(Im sensative about it lol) I will just say I used to be really fat, and now Im not anymore, if that gives you guys an idication of what might be the problem(s). But it is always in the back of my mind. I wouldnt ever just blantantly tell a pot SD that I am uncomfortable with my body(I have enough close male friends to know that that is a SERIOUS turn off), but if/when the relationship turns physical, if I am not 100% comfortable with the other person, Im sure aside from what may not be perfect how I feel about it definately shows.
    And clearly I needed to get that off my chest lol, not sure why I am sitting here blabbing about this crap, but I will post it anyway;)

  387. Just Dee in NC says:

    2Chic, I had some young kid in his 20s IMing me all spring and summer, and 2 more who were 30, 31. Do they not understand that “The Graduate” is FICTION and that Mrs. Robinson DOESN’T EXIST???

  388. 2Chic says:

    D-Dubs says:
    November 12, 2009 at 8:18 am

    Are you looking for an SD who is near your age, or older?

    I have to be honest. I’m more drawn to profiles of young women in their 20’s for obvious physical reasons, but, perhaps I’m missing out on some special people.

    But, at the same time, it might seem a little awkward to be in an SD/SB relationship with someone close to my age (late 30’s/early 40’s). I’m thinking there are probably plenty of women in this age range on sites such as EHarmony who would enjoy my company without needing an allowance.

    In response to your question, I prefer more mature gentlemen. I recently turned 40 and I love my age. Dee you are right, the peak is absolutely divine, just pure divine. I do not want a man my age, or close to it. I personally find maturer more sexy. Also, I like stimulating conversations, want to be taught as well as teach. Younger guys irritate me, there has to be substance. I have a 34 yr IM me every day, and my entire perception is “tell me something I don’t already know” IMO ( Villa: In My Opinion)…lol

  389. 2Chic says:

    Hi Suga’s
    Hope all is well.

  390. cleo says:

    VC? when the time comes for rehab you can ask me questions if you want.

  391. NC Gent says:

    Hi RedMaru — good to see you again.

    VC — hope you feel better soon — ouch!

  392. Just Dee in NC says:

    It’s great now, Villa. I got involved in competitive country western dancing for about 5 years, and now I have all my range of motion back in that ankle.

  393. cleo says:

    D-Dubs I answered your question, did you miss it?

  394. VillaCypris says:

    CB – rollerblading crash!! skate hit the grass next to path and i lost balance and slammed into the concret on my left hand.

    dad just called – good news!!!!! dont need surgery/pin, just a cast…. as the fracture is up in the joint….

    bye all!!! thanks so much for your well wishes!!!! xox

  395. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    VC – Sounds painful. Hope it heals quick. Arm wrestling or slapped someone? And agreed on the ABCDEFG’s.

  396. VillaCypris says:

    Thanks Red! much appreciated! i slept 9 hours last night, so that certainly helped.

  397. VillaCypris says:

    Just Dee – i used to live in charlotte! not since 1999 though… that’s funny…. where are the hot “ortho-daddies” … 😉

    how is your leg now?

  398. RedMaru says:

    VillaCypris – Aaaw I’m sorry – sending pain pills and mom’s special recipe chicken soup your way(it can cure anything!)

    Hey NCGent 😀

  399. VillaCypris says:

    I should clarify…. the use of those irks me when it is obvious people are trying too hard to appear younger or more hip than they are, or is necessary, esp in a first message….

  400. Just Dee in NC says:

    Villa, it’s a shame you aren’t here in Raleigh. I broke my leg about 12 years ago, and the orthopedic surgeon is a George Clooney look-alike.

  401. VillaCypris says:

    red – you’re welcome. i checked you out before. i’m ok, waiting to go see the bone specialist re:my fractured radius.

    nc gent – hahahahah!!!!! 😀 my first laugh of the day…. grazzie!!

  402. NC Gent says:

    Hi Villa — OMG IDK you dont like LOL!

  403. RedMaru says:

    Hi Villa 😀 Thanks for checking me out
    How are you?

  404. VillaCypris says:

    hi all – sorry for the short posts and lack of proper caps, typing w one hand isn’t fun!!

    redmaru – i would remove the “lol” from your profile. just my personal preference, as it is quite a pet peeve of mine…. especially when men in their 40s/50s/60s write to me with OMG, LOL, IDK, etc. complete turn-off.

  405. RealisticSD says:

    NYGent, based on my own experience, these dinners where we “open up” are just where good SDs are dragged along a little bit further, so the SB can get more of what she wants and give the SD less of what he wants. But that having been said, the challenge is making her more desirable to you, and who doesn’t want to live up to a good challenge?

    Yaz, rethinking your situation in light of what others have said, it reminds me of my more newbie days when I offered to pay one particular SB for each time we met and she was fine with it and we met several times. Finally, we got to a point where she wanted to have sex but I decided I didn’t want to take things further with her and didn’t want to be the sleep-with-her-and-run SD, so I didn’t and moved on instead. Neither of us looked at the whole thing as an escortish thing. So it all depends on how it is put and perceived. Obviously, his offer came across in a way that made you angry, but it is possible he didn’t know any better.

  406. RedMaru says:

    Great Just Dee 😀

  407. Just Dee in NC says:

    Oh my.

    I mentioned a few posts back about getting my first “I’m interested” email? Well …. I sent him the “here’s the rest of the story” email, and then I sent him a photo that shows ALL the figure flaws …. and he’s still interested.

  408. SweetLittle_K says:

    Thanks TXSB

    Going through my closet now finding something to wear eventhought the date is days away!!!


  409. Anna Molly says:

    Copy your profile URL and paste it into where is says website when you post a comment. :)

  410. cleo says:

    RedMaru: assuming mine works? where it says ‘website’ under ‘leave a reply’ i put the whole address of my profile when i look at it.

    if you click my name do you get my profile?

  411. RedMaru says:

    How do you link your profile to your name?

  412. D-Dubs says:

    NC Gent,
    Yes I am single.
    And, that was my point. You could use an EHarmony or Match to meet women close to my age. What you won’t find there frequently are more “open minded” women in their 20’s who are interested in a relationship (mutually beneficial or otherwise) with an older man.

    Which is what leads me here.

    And, here I’ve had my successes and failures over the past couple years. No regrets, though.

  413. TXSB says:

    If it’s a nice restaurant where you two are having lunch, then just wear a nice dress w/ tights or something similar. Personally I wouldn’t wear a pant/suit…seems too businesslike. And if you’re really want to avoid shopping since you don’t have an arrangement w/ this man, then wear high heels. That way you can tell him that you can’t walk too much in those heels (hence walking around in stores is out of the question). Good luck! :)

  414. cleo says:

    NYGent: you can just click my name no? i think i linked it correctly..

    anyway it’s 406468
    RedMaru: wow this blog is good for my ego today! thank you!!!

  415. NYGent says:

    cleo: could you post your profile # again and i’ll comment if you like. just gets hard to keep track of the #s

  416. SweetLittle_K says:

    Mornig TXSB,

    It’s be a nice restaurance first and then he wants to take me shopping which I try to avoid. Don’t want him to spens any $$ on me before we have some kind of ‘agreement’ Just doesnt feel right.

    I don’t like to walk on the high heels but love the looks of it! LOL

  417. cleo says:

    NYGent: i put up a different picture, is this better? i wanted a body shot that was a little different (and now i think i have to replace the white shirt on the floor one…)
    JustDee: oops 115 profile views… and three emails (two very very lame.) thank you, it’s nice to know that i’m not crazy to think i have a good profile. have you ever posted yours on the blog?
    NCGent: what’s weird to me? i wouldn’t have an affair with a married man but i think i wouldn’t care as much with a married SD. something about the monetary exchange changes the energetic balance and makes it somehow more okay in my head. that said? i would prefer a single one.

  418. RedMaru says:

    Hey cleo!
    I just saw your profile and your pics and I second JustDee’s emotion you are stunning

  419. Anna Molly says:

    Thanks Red :)

    Hi SweetLittle_K

  420. RedMaru says:

    Like your profile AnnaMolly – your hair is great in the two pics

  421. TXSB says:

    It depends on where that “date” is. Wear something appropriate for the location and something that you’re comfortable in.

  422. SweetLittle_K says:

    NC gent

    Thank so much as always

    Hello Anna how are you this morning?

  423. RedMaru says:

    Hey AnnaMolly 😀

  424. Just Dee in NC says:

    Cleo, I’ve seen your profile and your pictures, and if 147 men have looked at it and kept going …… well, they’re just idiots. You’re lovely, and your profile is interesting and upbeat.

    And men have the nerve to say WE’RE difficult to understand.

    Good morning, NY Gent!

  425. TXSB says:

    “NC Gent says:
    I actually prefer the “no response” form of no interest rather than a reply back. I don’t need to see it in writing.”

    I feel the same way. That’s why it never bothered me when I didn’t get a response. The message was still cryatal clear.


    It really is upto the SB as to how patient she’s willing to be and how important physical companionship is to her. With my SD, I was looking for a BFE. Having someone long distance who I only see 2-3x/month would’ve NEVER worked out for me. For me, going 3 whole days w/o seeing my SD seems like torture! I see my SD on average 4-5x/wk but there are many SBs who don’t want that b/c they feel this interfers with their “normal life”. So it all depends on this specific SB and what she wants/needs from a SD time wise.

  426. NC Gent says:

    Hi Cleo — I saw some stats somewhere — can’t recall where — that estimated that 30% of the men on places like match are still married — go figure. I guess not too surprising because there are a number of SBs and SDs on SA who say they are single when they are married.

  427. NC Gent says:

    HI NY Gent — I was speaking to similar aged women and men :) but did not clarify that. Thanks for catching that.

  428. Anna Molly says:

    I linked mine :)

    Hey Red

  429. RedMaru says:

    Wow I never seen my profile get approved that fast after I made changes….cool! But I took some of you guys and took “working girl” out.
    Number is 210789 since the topic is critiques feel free to check out and give input


  430. Anna Molly says:

    Age is not an issue with me at all. As long as we have mutual interests age is just a number.

  431. NYGent says:

    NC Gent: very few younger women on eharmony or match.com will consider an older man. they are looking for roughly same age or maybe 5 years older.

  432. RedMaru says:

    Hi D-Dubs an SD close to my age or older either one would be fine with me 😀 would you consider me advanced? I’m in my thirties

    But I second what cleo said

  433. cleo says:

    NCGent: when i found a wealthy guy on okcupid (who turned up married of course) i wondered why he was there. he’s very rich (let me drive his ferrari kind of rich) and it never made sense to me what he was doing on a free dating site.
    kittyTO: you’re in my town? do you know where the hot men are hiding? (are there any here? :)

  434. NC Gent says:

    SweetLittle_K — where what makes you feel comfortable, confident and sexy, as well as appropriate for the place you are meeting :) Not so sexy that it isn’t appropriate — most SDs hate that :)

  435. Just Dee in NC says:

    NC Gent, you have mail! :-)

    D-Dubs, women have a hormone surge that may begin in their late 30s or early 40s, and goes for 5 to 10 years. We are at our sexual peak right about the time that most men decide we’re too old to be interesting.

    Age matters to me but mainly from the standpoint of mutual interests. I don’t care how mature, gorgeous, or sexy a 20-something man is, he and I just are not going to have much to talk about. At the other end of the spectrum, I may be able to have wonderful conversations and even a fabulous sex life with men in their late 40s and 50s and even 60s, but these are the ages where major health problems crop up. You may have missed my post a couple of blogs back, but I am one of the few married women here. And I’m already dealing with a chronically ill spouse who has been in the hospital 17 times in the last 3 years. I’m not willing to get involved with a SD who is already in bad or marginal health.

    There are lots of women of all ages who would enjoy your company, with or without an allowance. If you have a potential SB who is closer to your age, don’t turn her down on that basis alone. Go ahead and meet her for coffee or dinner or drinks. See what you have in common. You might just find the spark you’re looking for. Or you may just find yourself with a new friend, and that’s a winning outcome, too.

    And if you still find that you’re more comfortable with a younger woman, so be it.

  436. cleo says:

    TLG: what does she say about this dilemma? personally i think i would love a few days in another city to relax and walk and read and stuff…
    just dee? i’ve had something like 150 profile views and three emails… so whatever… guess i’m old and they don’t think i’m attractive.
    D-Dubs? i came here because all i could find to date was piss poor jerks who were still in their mommy’s pockets. since i significantly prefer smart, accomplished, interesting and talented men i figured i would rather be an sb that date one more non-gentleman. that and i haven’t had any luck figuring out where the men i’m hot for are hiding in my town (i think their offices.)

    anyway, if i met a guy here and we fell for each other it would be nice, but if we don’t? at least i won’t feel robbed at the end of the arrangement like i usually do at the end of a relationship. and if i do? well i’ve learned something about myself.

    anyway, the one advantage to women open to the sb relationship is that we don’t care about (in fact like) your crazy work schedules and needs. we don’t mind going to those ‘boring work events’ because we enjoy them or events like them. we don’t care if we don’t see you for a week because we have lives. furthermore we like to cherish our men, and i think a lot of high flying guys really would love that kind of old fashioned treatment.

    i find the people on sites (such as POF or okcupid) are expecting me to dive in to some 6 night a week heavy romance. (seriously, what is with a guy wanting to get me pregnant on our THIRD DATE?????)

    all of that said, remember one thing, part of the reason women hit their sexual peak later in life is because it takes that long for us to learn what we like, to be comfortable in our bodies and our selves… the young ones may be hotter but the older ones are hot and wise and know what they want…

    lol – or? call me

  437. SweetLittle_K says:

    Good moring all

    As a new comer and never been in this kind of relationship I may not in a position to join the blog question but I hope to learn and have learned a great deal from reading the blog. Thank you all for valuable information.

    I’m an Asian and I shared many of your points on racial preference.

    Questions please;

    Been out of dating sceneries for many many years(5+) I’m so worried about everything and can’t decided!

    I’ll have a fist real ‘date’ and it’s during the day, my question is it’s appropriated if I would wear my suite and pant or should the nice jean with comfortable nice blouse is a better choice?

    Or the cute skirt with boot would do wonder in these weather condition?

    I can’t believe I have to ask these questions, I’m just overwhelming and too exciting.

    thank you

  438. NC Gent says:

    I think E-harmony would work for a single SD not a married one, D-Dubs, so I am assuming you are single. I always wondered why a single SD wouldn’t just use eharmony or match — seems like wealthy reasonably attractive guys would have no problems there. However, I do think the odds may not be in their favor on that site and they don’t want to deal with the hassles of a traditional relationship.

  439. D-Dubs says:

    I’m just curious…
    For some of the SBs who are more advanced in age…
    Are you looking for an SD who is near your age, or older?

    I have to be honest. I’m more drawn to profiles of young women in their 20’s for obvious physical reasons, but, perhaps I’m missing out on some special people.

    But, at the same time, it might seem a little awkward to be in an SD/SB relationship with someone close to my age (late 30’s/early 40’s). I’m thinking there are probably plenty of women in this age range on sites such as EHarmony who would enjoy my company without needing an allowance.

    Just a thought. Not trying to be rude to anyone in any way.

  440. RedMaru says:

    Made sense to me too always2sweet 😀

  441. cleo says:

    hey i put up a different pic, are these ones better?

  442. NC Gent says:

    Just Dee — you have mail :)

  443. Just Dee in NC says:

    Yikes! I just got my first email here from someone who is maybe interested. 22 profile views to get one “hey there, tell me more” note. But then, I’m also older than most of you ladies – I’m reading an awful lot of posts here from women who are my daughter’s age! :-)

    Ah well. Multi-millionaire who wants a beautiful woman who looks good on his arm. {sigh} The best I can hope for is “moderately cute.” And that’s just the way it is. Do y’all remember the verse in “At the Ballet” from “A Chorus Line” that says:

    Mother always said I’d be very attractive when I grew up, when I grew up
    “Different” she said, “with a special something
    And a very very personal flair.”
    And though I was 8 or 9
    Though I was 8 or 9
    I hated her.

    “Different” is nice but it sure isn’t “pretty”
    “Pretty” is what it’s about.
    I never met anyone who was “Different”
    Who couldn’t figure that out.

    There you go. Truer words were never spoken. Some women are gorgeous, sexy, sultry, enchanting, elegant, glamorous, without any effort at all. But on the OTHER end of that Bell curve are those of us who are just ….. cute. Doesn’t matter what clothes I wear or how my hair is done or even if I have an extremely skilled makeup artist doing my face, I’m just “cute.”

    Oh well, it’s still nice seeing his email. It does let me know that not every man out there wants a 20-something. :-) Us old farts still have *some* hope.

  444. NC Gent says:

    I read all the emails I get (well maybe not the ones from the SBs in Nigeria who want to wire me money), but I don’t respond to all. My profile is hidden so I don’t get many at all. I actually prefer the “no response” form of no interest rather than a reply back. I don’t need to see it in writing. There was a previous blog topic on this, and I think it was split roughly 50:50 on how people feel about it. Unfortunately, rejection (and sometimes crass rejection) is part of the sugar world.

  445. cleo says:

    always2sweet geeze that’s nearly as flattering as “you’re not like other girls” … which? not actually flattering at all.

  446. Just Dee in NC says:

    You made perfect sense to me, A2S.

  447. always2sweet says:

    RedMaru, I agree with you and JustDee, its really hard not to get offended when someone doesnt even give you a no thanks. I suppose though that it worth considering that maybe some of these guys feel like it might be insulting to tell someon that they are not interested. Maybe they think they are saving us the rejection, and not realizing that not saying anything at all is pretty F’ing rude, especially when I can see that you have read the message I sent you.

    I am also black, well mixed black white and native american, and I too have wondered if its a racial issue. But I try not to get too wrapped up in those thoughts, b/c I think that everyone has their preference, just as I prefer caucasian or mediterranian/european men to black men. I have had a LOT of black men get terribly offended by my preference. I will date anyone whose personality I love, but from just looks alone, probably 9 times out of 10 I am personally more attracted to white men. I think that as long as some guy isnt treating my like a novelty, I have had men tell me that “I’ve never been with a black girl before” and even a couple people tell me that b/c I was mixed that they saw that as a plus, like they could get the “Im with a black girl” thing out of their system, but the comfort I suppose of knowing that I am a very light skinned black person(its pretty obvious that I am mixed). And somehow they have the gaul to be confused as to why I am not flattered beyond belief by this BS. So I guess its a double edged sword, b/c while I really do try not to automatically assume that its a race thing, I wont lie, it can be hard not to wonder.
    Did any of what I just said make sense, or am I just rambling? LOL

  448. Just Dee in NC says:

    What really gets to me, RedMaru, is that the men will receive my email, go to my profile, then delete my email without reading it. WTF? I saw a good-looking young man, new to my town, on another site. Based on his interests, it was obvious that I’m nowhere close to being the SB he’s seeking. BUT …. I know someone who fits very well with what he’s seeking. My email to him was not only a “Welcome to North Carolina” note, but also an offer to put him in touch with this other lady, or arrange an introduction at an activity that fits into everyone’s interests. But oh no, he looked at my profile and deleted the email.

    Gosh, what if my note to one of these men had been something like, “You don’t know me, but I recognize you and I know your wife” ????

    When I joined another site last spring, I got 100 emails in my first week. I then put a picture on my profile, and got another hundred in the next day. And yes, RealisticSD, I responded to every one of them even if it was just to say “We’re looking for different things, but thanks for your interest.” One of those men, who held absolutely NO sexual attraction for me, has become a good friend in the ensuing months. And all because I took the 45 seconds to acknowledge that I had read his email and wasn’t interested.

    It’s rude not to answer someone who has expressed an interest in you. But the ones I have the biggest problem with are the ones who take one look at the photo and then don’t even bother to read the email.

  449. RedMaru says:

    Hey always2sweet 😀 I was starting to think I was by myself.

  450. always2sweet says:

    Man…you go away from the blog to sleep, and you miss EVERYTHING lol.

    Just Dee in NC says: I think I have a sign on my back that says, “If you think you want to, talk to me about it. I won’t get mad at you if you change your mind later.”

    I think I may have one of those too! I seriously think that I might be nice to a fault. Like to the point where it is no longer a good quality, but just a down right hinderence. Being “nice” to people repeatedly gets me absolutely no where, but its just how I am.

    NYGent ~ I really hope that your instincts are right. I would hate for you to get the run around from this girl. Just from seeing your blog posts, you definately dont deserve to be treated the way that she has treated you in the past

    oh yeah, still havent heard back from pot SDs. :( oh well

  451. RedMaru says:

    Whats the most important thing I’ve learned in my sugar journey so far: Well many have already said it PATIENCE x 3 and that you might have to kiss several frogs to find your prince, well I guess that goes with patience.

    Do I like to review and critique SD/SB profiles? Yes and love when mines is reviewed and critiqued also. I’ve started to think of it as an essential part of the sugar process. I have and still continue to benefit from the advice given

    Just Dee in NC says:
    November 10, 2009 at 11:09 pm
    What has surprised me is the extreme shallowness of many of the men. On this site and one other, I’ve left about a dozen emails in the past few days. Most of the notes have been friendly notes, usually asking about something in their profile or photo, and if I know I don’t fit the description of what he’s looking for, I’ll acknowledge that in the email. Hey, just because I’m not the SB someone’s looking for doesn’t mean I wouldn’t make a darned good friend.
    Good grief, simple manners would suggest that they read the email and respond, even if the response is nothing more than, “Thanks for your note.
    Thats what I love about this blog. Thank you JustDee for assuring me I’m not alone. I second the emotion. As I also have sent out messages – all individual no cut and paste and have gotten no response.

    I also second Bijoux’s emotion as I am black too. I also had a great message exchange with a SD a certified one who then all the sudden stopped for no apparent reason after telling me that I was so sweet. I found myself wondering what gives? Even an email to tell me “Thanks but no thanks maybe..”
    Sorry for the rant but its good to know that I’m not alone.

  452. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugarfam 😀 Had a restful day off for Veterans Day and just enjoyed being lazy, sleeping late, playing video games, etc. And I see missed the blog
    Hows everyone?

  453. Just Dee in NC says:

    Oh, rub it in, Anna Molly! :-)

  454. Anna Molly says:

    I’m off to beautify myself for my pot that looks like Richard Chamerlain. I’ll give an update when I return from my meeting with Father Ralph :)


  455. KittyTO says:

    DEE: I think that is a great tactic you have there. many successful SB will tell you having lots of SD friends are just as valuable as 1 great SD. The diversity of them all will surely come in Handy. Plus, the SD/SB is about enjoyment.. if you have a good time on these dates, that’s important too.

  456. KittyTO says:

    NC: not so much a job change but a promotion, I now travel across North America looking for Private sale of rare luxury cars… buy them ship them across borders, get all the technical stuff done to it (including revamping if necessary) and then sell them.
    Which mail?

  457. Just Dee in NC says:

    NC Gent, I’ve spent the last 10 months emailing and chatting and having lunch with all kinds of interesting men …. only to have them turn out to be the deep down “nice guys” who like to THINK about a girlfriend on the side but would never actually DO it. I’m developing a sixth sense now that lets me recognize these men a lot earlier.

    I think I have a sign on my back that says, “If you think you want to, talk to me about it. I won’t get mad at you if you change your mind later.”

  458. NC Gent says:

    Kitty — you have mail :)

  459. NC Gent says:

    Yes Anna Molly – not the kind of limbo I am seeking but the drunken one sounds nice! I feel like a HS chic waiting for the hot guy to ask me to the prom lol

  460. Anna Molly says:

    Sorry about than NC

    Hopefully she’ll come around :)

    Limbo isn’t fun at all. Well, unless it involves a bunch of drunk people trying to see how low they can go. Watching such a sight can be quite humorus :)

  461. NC Gent says:

    Yes — nothing new! LOL I do seem to attract the maritally conscious — I guess I need to figure out what I am doing wrong on that before I jump back in, if this one doesn’t work out. hmmmm no trips to your area very soon — I have Massachusetts, New Hampshire and NYC in the near future though :) Did you find a different job Kitty?

  462. KittyTO says:

    NC: So nothing new than! LOL… Why do you always get the SBs that’s so maritally conscience?…. Are you going to take a flight over my way anytime soon? I miss Victoria secret and agent provocateur.

  463. NC Gent says:

    hmmmm SD status — well I had a sugar baby for the summer — that went pretty well, but I ended that one. I have been talking to a potential SB for a couple of months, and we met two weeks ago — had great chemistry — but she is getting cold feet about my marital status — not sure what will happen on that one, but I am not too optimistic right now. So I guess the short answer is — I am in SD limbo :)

  464. KittyTO says:

    *than.. not then

  465. KittyTO says:

    NC! Glad you recognized me 😉 I am good good! :) Back on the market again.. *frustrated* this time for something a little different. more of a business approach then before. What’s your SD status now> been macking up big time since I’ve been gone?

  466. NC Gent says:

    Kitty!!!!!!!!!!!!! big huge hugs and kisses to you :) I am doing fairly well – how are you?

  467. KittyTO says:

    Good Morning Dee, Taz and Anna…
    I haven’t been on the blog for over 6 months now!! Glad to see some familiar faces

  468. Taz says:

    And good morning Dee and Anna – and anyone I missed!

  469. KittyTO says:

    NC! HEYA! How r u?

  470. Taz says:

    Gentleman – I would MUCH prefer a sd gave out their name and number – it seems around these ways…I have to ask for it – which for me thus far is uncomfortable and much easier if it was just given…

    TLG – I have a pot that has been corresponding with me for over a month now. Neither of us was in much of a hurry at first as we were both busy – but now our meet is set for the week of dec. 10 – still a loong time. If we both enter into the arrangement – we will likely only see each other twice a month – maybe three. I still have my options open at this point as he is not my sd – but I have my heart and head set on this one 😉 Speaking for myself, if my sd flew me to his city – I am realistic enough to realize he is a busy man and would be happy to amuse myself until we met :) I am sure you will both work something out! Can you maybe text or send emails or go on webcam to keep in touch and smiles on each others faces? Just be open and honest….is she your pot, or your sb??

  471. Anna Molly says:

    Hello NC :)
    Hope you are doing well this morning :)
    Hi Just Dee :)

  472. NC Gent says:

    Good morning all. Kitten — if you are out there, we are anxiously awaiting the update from your date.

    RealisticSD — I was also glad to hear that I am not the only one who gives out my full name and cell number. Also, regarding SBs not being able to go through with a married SD. I actually think what happens is they don’t think about it that much in advance, and then when reality overcomes fantasy, it is a bit overwhelming. Unfortunately, I have seen this several times now. So much, that I am starting to get a sixth sense about it.

    Hi Dee – I know that part of the containment area, but unfortunately, I don’t know anyone that is hiring right now. I have one opening, but it is in my Atlanta office. Best wishes in your search – must be very difficult now.

    Good morning Lisa, TLG, and Anna Molly :)

  473. Just Dee in NC says:

    Good morning, Anna Molly! And good morning to anyone else lurking this morning!

  474. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone

    New test for sds, the cheese test. This is a good idea though, it could be tried in a bookstore, sephora, etc.

    TXSB, I met my sd on the blog. He isn’t active on it anymore but most likely lurks, not sure.

    Have a good day everyone, I’ve got to be leaving for work

  475. The Lone Gunman says:

    Good Thundering Thursday morning, Sugar Blog!

    Here’s a pickle I could use some help with: how patient should an SB be?

    I have a pot SB in another state.

    We appear to be totally into the idea of getting together.

    The problem is our schedules (notably mine) through the end of the year don’t match up well. By that, I mean while I could fly her to me, much of her time here would be spent without my manly manliness being available to squire her about and show her the things that we probably would enjoy as a couple.

    If I fly to her location, same difficulty in not experiencing her fabulous femininity as much while there. (This is easier for me, I suspect–I am after all The Lone Gunman.)

    I don’t want to be ‘nexted’, but the SB certainly has every right to expect to actually be able to spend time with me (and vice-versa) without the Acme Anvil of time constraint hanging over our heads.

    So this brings me back to the original question: given all this, just how patient should an SB be? What is fair to her under the circumstances?


  476. cleo says:

    Margo: dude i don’t know if i buy your cheese test, some women don’t want SD’s buying them things before an arrangement is er… arranged. SD thoughts?
    NYGent: actually? i really like the sounds of this. no judging or slapping here; sometimes you have to take a chance and trust your gut. this sounds like one of them but i have only your words as i have not read the back story.
    okay all this talk of NYGent’s age and hottie factor and the like has me totally curious, is there a way to get a glimpse of your profile sir?


    honey he liked you and then he totally failed to seal the deal. but don’t be insulted because he’s clueless, just shake your head ruefully and move on.

    i’ve dated off the internet since the 90’s (but not on dating sites, many times i just met people on irc or whatever) and the frog/prince ratio is depressingly slim and i have to stop doing it whenever i feel like i might be having self-esteem issues.

    the crap you take, it’s amazing how many people have no respect for their fellow human beings and no sense whatsoever of the consequences of their actions. and even if they HAD that sense? they don’t CARE.

    oops, no ranting on the blog… *deep breath*

  477. TXSB says:

    LOL! I couldn’t believe it when the 1st time I read what this girl told him….she has absolutely no clue how lucky she is to get a 2nd chance. All the SB’s on the blog can vouch for the difficult of find a good SD….this girl found one…decided to be a total brat to him….and now is getting a 2nd chance. If she blows it again (and is rude to him in the process), someone really should smack her. :)

  478. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    oooo… I smell an intervention!

  479. TXSB says:

    I just realized this is the same girl who was so rude to your regarding your age (even though you’re a hottie!). OK, so if she decides to be a b*tch again, I will personally fly to NYC (for the 1st time ever) and smack her! 😉

  480. Yaz10 says:

    *I know I shouldn’t take it personally*

  481. Yaz10 says:

    NYGent you are a great guy and I do wish that she didnt just change her story about her being embarrassed to be seen in public with you just because of the $$ she knows you are willing/able to give her. You are right it is almost the holiday season and you might be just the source of income she is looking for to help her with her christmas list.

    A SB knows from the get go whether or not she is physically attracted to a SD. It is either she likes your company and could care less about what anyone thinks or is trying to force herself to like you so she will get access to the $$. If she knows you are entranced with her ( especially since you went back to her even after she said that then it will be easier for her to manipulate you)

    I do hope tho that it turns out into a great SD/SB story such as TXSB’s story. The blog needs it!

    Thanks for your kind words tho. I know you shouldn’t take it personally…

  482. Taz says:

    CB – I definitely AM from Canada and work very, very hard at NOT saying EH lol!

  483. TXSB says:

    Hehehe…thanks! I know plenty of people on the blog flirt w/ each other but if any 2 other active blog members are indeed in a real life arrangement, they’ve chosen to keep it a secret. LOL @ the profession comment…. :)


    Wow….I didn’t know that about the e-mails!

  484. Mina says:

    It’s a definite possibly she thought more about it and is starting to warm up to the idea. A big factor could be how well you are (and have been) treating her; I’m sure a negative experience would scare her away from you and the SB/SD “lifestyle” completely. Encourage her to talk more and share her thoughts with you.

    Or you could just let me find a gal for you next time I’m in NYC 😉

  485. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    NYGent – All blog entries are editable in the WordPress interface. I imagine a special request to the administrator would solve that if you provide them w/ date/time of entries where you disclosed that info.

  486. Just Dee in NC says:

    Bedtime here too. Good night!

  487. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    Happy zzz’s everyone..

  488. Yaz10 says:

    Thanks to everyone.

    I shall talk to you all 2moro. Good night!

  489. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    Taz – part French, but def not Canadian.. You?

  490. Taz says:

    CremeBrulee – are you sure you aren’t Canadian? EH??!! Lol..

  491. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    yes.. “hidden” is a nice little feature, eh? I’ve had to always keep mine hidden after discovering a few profiles from my professional circle. Not THAT profession.. a respectable one 😉

  492. TXSB says:

    Lola (and Lola’s SD):
    Nice seeing you two again! Good night… :)

  493. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    TXSB – Ha! I thought there were more.. I’m not on here often enough to be in the know. I do think you guys are adorable 😉

  494. TXSB says:

    In addition, both SD and I have our SA profiles hidden….so even if someone goes searching for us based on details we provide here, our profiles won’t show up.

  495. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    Lola (and SD hiding in back)- Sleep well!

    … courtesy of the blog clowns

  496. TXSB says:

    I’ve never posted my profile # on the blog. I’ve shared general info like my age, town etc…..but never any specifics that would allow anyone who know me IRL to even suspect its me.

    As for blog romances…I believe my SD and I are the only “active” blog couple (I’m not aware of any 2 others on the blog who’re together). We met on the site but then VERY soon discovered we’re both on the blog….our entire meeting is very unique actually. But SD & I are both very open/blunt with each other. We both know not to share specific details about the other on the blog. There’s nothing I write on here about him that I wouldn’t say to his face…and from what I know about him, he’s the same way.

  497. Stephanie says:

    Interesting. I am definitely into the 40-50 range in men. I like to have real conversations of life, business, the economy, etc. even people in their 30s don’t understand mortgages or parenting for that matter. So even though my age is young, my mind is not. I can say that I do have a few good laughs from proposals IRL though.

  498. Taz says:

    OC – How is it going with your pots?

  499. Taz says:

    NYGent – better to have tried and failed…no regrets…enjoy your time together :) that’s all that really matters!

    Cremebrulee – I have not had that experience (good or bad) thus far..but try to be careful with regards to everything I share (I wonder the same thing quite often lol) about pot’s and myself for that matter. I agree, I feel like I am much more closed off than some on here – but I am a private person for the most part. However, I have no problem being open with someone I want to be – ie: a wonderful sd lol..

    Nice to see you again Lola :)

  500. Lola...SB says:

    CrèmeBruléeNY :

    Yes, We enjoy it. Very refreshing. Better than CNN.
    Pornstars profiles and shoe licking, so many funny stories and funny people. Thank you for the many laughs.

  501. Mina says:

    NYGent – Do keep us posted with this SB. Just to clarify, this isn’t the one that said something along the lines of being embarrassed to be seen with you in public? (Sorry I had to bring up such a harsh example)

  502. TXSB says:

    Yes….I don’t “chill” either! LOL! I actually look younger than my age…most people usually think I’m b/t 22-24. I prefer to date men who’re 30+…..I have yet to meet a man who’s mature and actually managed to get my respect who’s under 30. So when a young guy asks me to “chill”…I tell him how old I am and tell him that I have no idea what that is. And if someone who’s obviously 30+ asks me to “chill”…I tell him something like “What’re you? 18? Let me know if you’re interested in taking me to dinner….I only chill with my family”.

  503. Mina says:

    With the growing popularity of the blog, I choose to keep my information private. I haven’t shared my profile # or posted my email address on here.

    And being terribly vague at other times helps with anonymity too.

  504. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    Lola – That’s very cute. Bed-time sugar reading. Beats CNN/BBC.

  505. 2Chic says:

    No problems Stephanie, I know your hearts in a good place.

  506. Stephanie says:

    Not from what I experienced so far CremeBrulee…. what I have found is that some of the SDs have never even heard of the blog! Its shocking.

  507. Lola...SB says:

    CrèmeBruléeNY :

    You are right. Many share a lot about themselves here. Daddy and I love to read at times. You are all very funny and insightful.
    Good luck to all of you, I am going back to being a lurker.

  508. NYGent says:

    ECF and Lola: I hear you, which is why i’m trying to limit my downside by putting a time limit and $ limit on the thing. Maybe the chance of it really working is at best 20%. It’s always about risk/reward, in this case percentage risk of failure is high, reward is also high, and consequences of failure are somewhat amelioratred. Yes it’s possible she’s intentionally taking advantage of me, and i’ve been burned in past by some very good “actresses” who turned out to be, essentially, grifters. This one is not, in my view, a great actress or con artist, just a gut feeling on my part. Doesn’t mean it will work, just means if it fails i “think” it won’t be because she’s a conniving phony.

  509. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    Random note: Anyone ever experience not-so-positive consequences to sharing/over-sharing here? Not truly knowing the size of lurke-audience and especially with profile numbers being openly exchanged? Perhaps I’m just too private. I’m very much amused by the stories especially the current blog romances; but I do wonder..

  510. Stephanie says:

    TXSB LOL I can totally agree!!! Actually, how it went was… Do you want to come over and “Chill”? My original response was that “I don’t just “chill”, that is not what I do, my 21year old brother does that with his little girlfriends”. He was offended that I put him in his spot. I am 24 with a degree, a 15yr brother that I raise and mortgage. Hell NO I don’t want to come over and chill on your couch so you can group me. *** Sigh*** What do I get out of it?? I agree with Just Dee and I can use a vibrator for that matter.

  511. Mina says:

    CrèmeBruléeNY says: NYGent – Hope you haven’t inadvertently fallen for a hypno-savvy Financial Domme..


  512. Just Dee in NC says:

    NewSB in NC, who is an early-20s student, used to live in New York.

  513. Stephanie says:

    Oops, sorry 2chic. Maybe its my eyes at this weee hour. Also I came out of lurk mode so I probably don’t know everything regarding everyone just yet.

  514. NYGent says:

    Dee: ok but somebody on here who’s now in NC used to live in NYC, or am i imagining things? It is sometimes hard to keep everybody straight, esp since there seem to be several contingents on the blog: Texas, Canada, Atlanta, NYC and NC, to name a few.

  515. EastCoastFilly says:

    Yaz: people are bold behind the internet walls.. they can say whatever and you can’t reach through your screen and slap them, lol 😉

    NYGent, my new buddy and advisor :) Just like Dee am not in a negative mood so I will not cyberslap you either. If it wasn’t mean to be and she isn’t for real you will know soon enough, but please be very careful and read the signs. No risk no reward and if it fails, you tried. I wish you wouldn’t but you have so I hope for the best. But please do put a limit on the time you will give her. No matter what if you have chemistry with someone it will be early on, you deserve better than someone who has to let you grow on them or that they have to learn to tolerate you. I always know on the first date whether I wanted to ever be intimate with a man here or IRL. No one ever has to “grow” on me. If I didn’t know on the first date it is very clear it will not happen.

    I hope I haven’t rambled, I was off to bed but had to respond to NYGent first.

    G’night all!!

  516. TXSB says:

    “Stephanie says:
    So this guy IRL wants to “get together/hang out” so my response was…”Well you know a girl has to eat”. (I was being playful). Then I get a line that he is busy this week, got stuff going on, yadda yadda yadda.”

    God you have no idea how often I go through this IRL. :( I get hit on a lot….and it’s ways an invitation for drinks or parties or to “hang out”. I’m 28….not 16. I don’t want to “hang out”! For once I want a man to just say “May I take you out to dinner sometime?”…….seriously….is that really too much to ask for?! :( I’m a traditional simple girl…..dinner and a movie is all I ask for. No “hanging out”…no clubbing….no drinks. Just a frigging dinner (hell it can even be Olive Garden!) and a damn movie. OK…rant over.

  517. Lola...SB says:


    I have only posted one time but SD and I are reading. And for

    I have read what you have said previously about this girl. I must say I am amazed that a man, such are yourself, would go back. In my opinion, she is taking advantage of you. I have seen many young girls do this. I do hope it works in the end and that you are not being played for a fool. You seem extremely trusting and generous, just be aware of career Gold Diggers. Good luck.

  518. NYGent says:

    Taz: the incident you had today doesn’t seem like something that should make you “feel ugly.” granted the guy was’t on your wavelength SA-wise, but as OC and I said he sounded like he found you attractive and was into you, just not on terms that you find (or should find) acceptable. But the incident is not a negative commentary on you personally.

  519. Just Dee in NC says:

    NY Gent, no, never been to New York. I’ve lived in Ohio, Indiana, and Michigan, but 2/3 of my life has been spent in Tennessee and North Carolina. I lived in the north long enough that I flunked my class in “Tact for Transplants 101” when I moved here. :-)

  520. 2Chic says:

    Stephanie says:
    November 11, 2009 at 8:46 pm

    2Chic, good thing you started out by saying your not an escort. But by saying “But at this time, I am afraid to love, even I though deserve it.” To me that seems a little bit too strong of feelings to be talking about in the beginning before you even met somone or also that you may not deserve it part sounds as if your not confident in yourself. That may not be the way you want to have other people view yourself.

    Stephanie, thanks for the reply, and believe me I did not state the “afraid of love” feeling to my POT. I would not do that, because if he is what I need, and desire it will happen. Right now just for my suga’s on this blog is whom I share such info. I stated that I “do deserve to love”. My confidence is high, it took a minute, but I will not let it go ever again. I am just at a point in my life where I am pursuing my dream in building my business. I have suffered a major heart break, and until some gentle strong hero comes my way. Love will only complicate things right now. I need a solid friendship with my SD, that is first and foremost for me.

  521. Yaz10 says:

    NYGent I will cross my fingers for you and hope it works out for the best! We need success stories around here :-(

  522. Just Dee in NC says:

    TXSB, I’m with you. I’ve run into a lot of men who say they want a “no strings attached” relationship, but every one of them has a different definition of that. I finally started to tell them up front that when *I* say “no strings attached,” I simply mean that I’m not going to pressure him to leave his wife and marry me. It doesn’t mean that he can be having sex with multiple women in multiple cities, or only call me every few months when my name rotates back to the top of his list. Adding that to my profile on the site I was on earlier this year weeded out a lot of the time-wasters.

    If all I want is an orgasm, I’ll get my vibrator out.

  523. TXSB says:

    NY Gent:
    I don’t consider this wimping out at all! :) It seems like you met someone you really like and you’re willing to take it easy. And it also seems like that instead of just spending $$$ on her without limit, you came up with a “revised companionship” plan which allows for a MODEST allowance. As long as you’re aware of the risk that she may never move forward to a true SD/SB relationship and are ok with it….and you’re enjoying her company for the time being….I don’t see how that’s wimping out. Congrats on finding someone who’s providing you companionship that you truly enjoy! :)

  524. Yaz10 says:

    This is a bit frustrating….Where I work at I meet a lot of pot SDs ( wealthy businessmen, lawyers, state senators, ect…) and sometimes it is as if they would like to but don’t know how to approach me. For example last week, we had to set up one of our banquet rooms for a business meeting for the board of directors of a large company last week and during the meeting my manager asked me to go in there and make sure that our banquet staff had taken care of everything. When I went in there I could see them staring and even one joked that they might have another meeting at our hotel if it meant seeing a beautiful woman around lol. After the meeting one of them came up to me and gave me his card and said I should give him a call sometimes. I lost the damn thing :-(

    I mean it is like that all the time at work…Some come in and I can tell they would like to talk to me but they kinda hesitate and if they see that I am very busy then they just they dont say anything. And then I come here and some men make me feel soooo ugly! It is unbelievable.

  525. NYGent says:

    TexSb: well said

    just dee: thx. to a former new yorker, right?

  526. Stephanie says:

    TXSB: I’ve learned lots of good views from the SD life compared to IRL dating. I don’t know if its me, or my looks… but I always attract guys that want to sleep with me immediately, first date and all IRL. Here is a funny example to have you laugh. So this guy IRL wants to “get together/hang out” so my response was…”Well you know a girl has to eat”. (I was being playful). Then I get a line that he is busy this week, got stuff going on, yadda yadda yadda. IRL some people assume they can have free company, free sex, free whatever…. without even lifting a finger! I’m not an escort, but geez you have to make an effort for the goods.

  527. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    NYGent – Hope you haven’t inadvertently fallen for a hypno-savvy Financial Domme.. <<>

  528. Just Dee in NC says:

    NYGent, tonight I’m not in the mood to slap you upside the head. If your gut instinct says to move forward slowly and cautiously and see where it goes, then by all means follow that instinct. If you’re truly wimping out, I will gladly be among the women who smack you silly. But honestly, I just don’t see what you’re doing as “wimping out” if you are truly entranced with the young lady.

    Wimpy, spineless men, on the other hand, drive me nuts and I’m not nice to them.

  529. TXSB says:

    “Yaz10 says:
    Is there really a thin line between escorts and sugar babies? Is that the reason why these men see us as a piece of meat?”

    Firstly I know/have met plenty of men in my life who view women as a piece of meat.

    Yes, SB and escorts are both looking for $. But there are 2 major differences b/t an escort and a SB:

    1) Escorts will have sex with ANYONE who pays their “price”. They don’t care if the man isn’t treating them like a “lady”. Man gives them the $$, they have sex, and that’s it. A true SB will look for chemistry and a emotional connection. A true SB will turn down a man if she’s not truly attracted to him physically/emotionally (no matter how much $ he’s offering).

    2) Escorts have multiple sexual partners each week. Many of the men they sleep with are 1 night stands. They will take the X amount of money for those few hours and don’t care whether or not they ever see that man again. A true SB looks for a on going relationship/friendship. They actually care about the SD and wants to see him again….they enjoy talking to him….they care about what’s going on in his life.

  530. EastCoastFilly says:

    Maybe if you look at it the way it do. Granted I am busy with work so free time isn’t all that free but I try my best to be available so when I go meet a pot SD I always go into it not expecting anything to come of it other than a good dinner. You can’t have your whole life riding on this one meet up. If it doesn’t work out I walk away and completely forget it. Come back here and try again. Try it, it works 😉

    off to bed!! Good night all, sweet sugar dreams and may tomorrow be a better day!

  531. Just Dee in NC says:

    NC Gent, I’m looking for a job and need to be in or very near the Containment Area. I have to drive from the far east side of town to the Regency Park area twice a day as it is, so I may as well find a job there. If you’re one of those folks who hears about job openings, I’d love to hear what you know and will gladly talk with you off the blog.

  532. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    Yaz10 – Wealth builds false confidence and to some, it’s a license to be less than cordial to put it mildly. But rest assured, SBs employ their looks in just the same way though not frequently admitted 😉

  533. NYGent says:

    ok I was a bit mysterious last night. here goes and so the usual commentators will want to hit me across the bow, and maybe i deserve it. Got back with the young SB again to try to patch things up. We have now entered into a revised “companionship” arrangment involving a very modest allowance which we will pursue for a month or two to see if there is a basis for a true SB/SD mutually beneficial relationship at the levels we previously agreed on. She said she had felt “rushed” and “pressured” before which sort of freaked her out. Not because I rushed her but because she hadn’t really thought through what it means to be on the site. I have to say our time tonight (at a fabulous NYC resto) was the most relaxed, open and free-flowing we have had. We both opened up to each other in ways we never did before. She said it was due to or agreement on an arrangement that doesn’t call for immediate intimacy. Is it possible she is just playing me to get a few bucks in time for Xmas shopping, with zero intention of ever moving forward with a true SB/Sd relationship? Yes, possible, but my intuition tells me she is sincere when she says she hopes to make this work and develop into something. So to circle back to the question on the blog, what have you learned, I have learned to trust my instincts. My instincts on this one tell me that while it’s a relatively low probabilty of ultimate success, it’s at least worth a shot. I wouldn’t persist if I weren’t so entranced with this one. So that’s what I’ll do for now.

  534. TXSB says:

    Thanks! I never shy away from a man unless he’s being disrespectful. With men I meet IRL and the ones I met on this site before my SD, I always make it clear that I’m open to meeting people and have no problem “hanging out” with them. But in order for me to get involved with someone physically, he must be my BF (or SD in this case).

  535. Yaz10 says:

    Thanks for your kind words OC, Dee and NYGent

  536. Stephanie says:

    2Chic, good thing you started out by saying your not an escort. But by saying “But at this time, I am afraid to love, even I though deserve it.” To me that seems a little bit too strong of feelings to be talking about in the beginning before you even met somone or also that you may not deserve it part sounds as if your not confident in yourself. That may not be the way you want to have other people view yourself.

  537. Yaz10 says:

    Being on here can be a real blow to one’s self esteem. When you see me IRL I am this confident, bubbly and always smiling girl but being on here made me ask myself a few questions…

    Is there really a thin line between escorts and sugar babies? Is that the reason why these men see us as a piece of meat?

    How can you blame them…The ones listing millions and millions of dollars as income receive so many emails on a daily basis it is ridiculous. Even the ones listing the minimum receive a lot of emails.

    I wonder if I was one of them and I knew that I could get any girl on this site because I am a multi-millionaire would I turn into a selfish, arrogant and self centered jerk?

  538. Just Dee in NC says:

    Yaz, think of this, too: You’ve given him something to think about. Remember the scene in “Pretty Woman” where Richard Gere tells Julia Roberts that he’s arranged for her to have a condo, a car and driver to take her anywhere she wants to go, and credit cards that will guarantee the Rodeo Drive shops will suck up to her any time she wants to go shopping. She says, “And what else? You’ll leave money on the table when you come through town?”

    Well ….. some SBs would consider that their ideal arrangement. Other women would find such an offer offensive. Just as Richard Gere’s character had never considered that a relationship meant something different, your date today may never have met a woman who asked for anything from him other than shopping, sex, and money.

    You planted a seed. You may never see it bear fruit, but someone a few months or year or two down the road may benefit because you were willing to tell him that his offer was offensive and unacceptable.

    Besides, those of us here who know nothing about you except how you think and how you express yourself already know that you are incredibly smart, witty, and beautiful. You aren’t a woman who ever has to settle for a less-than-acceptable arrangement.

  539. NYGent says:

    wow my comment and OC’s crossed paths but Taz I think we’re saying the same thing (as OC and I usually do).

  540. NYGent says:

    Yaz: I would not take it personally. Actually it sounded like the guy was really into you, he is just clueless/inexperienced/or willfully ignorant of what it takes to be a true SD. That is fairly common among newbie SDs. In my case, although I was never as clueless as this guy, I really didn’t know what the site was truly all about, either. It takes time to develop that sense. Of course some guys are hopeless, don’t really want to evolve, etc., and maybe this guy is that way. But it’s possible that he genuinely believed that what he was offering wasn’t insulting. He’s wrong in that of course, but it’s entirely plausible that if he had been on the site for say 9 months to a year and then met up with you, things would have turned out differently. my overall point is dont’ take it personally, the guy didn’t behave the right way but it had nothing to do with you and in fact it sounds like he actually dug you. As they say NEXT, but keep plugging away.

  541. 2Chic says:

    Ladies I have two dates this weekend, and now my guard is up like a wall. I know it is not good, but before I even meet with them, I am going to tell them up front, …well I have already let one know..lol. I am not an escort, I know I can be a handful, but it will take a loving and strong man to make me purr. But at this time, I am afraid to love, even I though deserve it.

  542. Stephanie says:

    That is a sassy line of declining with class. I like it TXSB. I shy away from all guy who say “just seeing with this is about” or that they don’t know what they are looking for.

  543. TXSB says:

    I’ve met quite a few guys IRL and even on this site who tell me they just want to have “fun”. Now the guys IRL that say this don’t want a GF and the guys who told me this on SA didn’t offer an arrangment. My answer to any guy who tells me that is “I love having fun and am all for it. But if I’m not your GF (or SB to the guys here), then there won’t be sex of any type included in those fun activities.” That usually makes them dissappear real fast.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Yaz, Take the compliments that he gave you and feel GOOD about them. He liked you! So what if his allowance offering and arrangement did not match yours, and yes lies do happen. In the end all I would take away from today was the GOOD. You were HOT and he did not meet your selection standards. Nuff said! Next!

  544. Yaz10 says:

    Thanks so much guys. I know I am going to feel a bit better 2moro. You guys are awesome. I just needed to come here and vent ( My sis is spending the night at her fiance’s so no one around…)

  545. EastCoastFilly says:

    Just Dee in NC…AFF is where they belong in the first place…amen!

  546. Stephanie says:

    I want to share that without this blog, our sanity of all this would be lost somewhere. So keep on posting and sharing thoughts and experience, no matter how long the post may be! When bad dates or experiences happen, at least it can be vented about here and we can all chime in, understand and laugh.

  547. Just Dee in NC says:

    EastCoastFilly, after they leave this site they wind up on adult friend finder dot com, where they greet women with emails and IMs that say “Hey baby wanna f***?”

  548. EastCoastFilly says:

    Yaz, vent all you like. Unfortunately, as this site as gained popularity its become more of an escort type environment making it hard for us true SBs to find a good guy (and vice versa because of all the fake SBs). I’ve recently had 2 guys email me going through the motions only to finally say hey I don’t need to pay for sex (which is not what I am offering anyway) and that why can’t they find a girl who just wants to have fun? I pretty much explained what this site is about and good luck finding that on here. When they’ve exhausted all the normal dating sites, match dot com, j date dot com, etc they come here. Its a f’ing joke.

  549. VillaCypris says:

    All – THANK YOU so much for the well wishes!!!!!! I really appreciate it! Hopefully will be healed up soon. Off to bed, sweet dreams :)

  550. TXSB says:

    Thanks! I keep telling SD how excited I am….I just want the next few weeks to fly by…. :)


    Personally I love long posts…..if if you got something on your mind….share away. :)

  551. TXSB says:

    Sorry to hear about your accident….hope you recover soon.


    Margo & Yaz:
    Sorry to hear about the bad dates. :(


    “EastCoastFilly says:
    Think of it as practice, like in real life dating. Every time you’ll meet someone new you’ll have more practice for the next guy who comes along so you won’t be nervous and you’ll know how to handle an ass like this. If this should happen again, don’t take it personally. Chances are someone has accepted a pitiful offer like this in the past so those guys think its normal. Just look at them and laugh and move on. You know who you are, thats all that matters.”

    I soooooooooo agree with the above paragraph. IMO all SB’s should take this advise.


    Please don’t let this guy get you down. As for SDs not having respect for SBs, remember that in reality, many men have little or no respect for women in general. Don’t let this guy effect the way you see yourself. *HUG*

  552. Taz says:

    Good luck Anna!!! Don’t forget about the plane ticket lol 😛

  553. Taz says:

    On this site, and every site – there are true sd’s and there are fakes. There just happen to be a lot more fakes…and some girls on here may actually be looking for that 300/meet…not any of us…but to each his own. Don’t take it personally at all…NEXT!

    Trust me I have had plenty of time wasted and still do not have a sd to call my own either :( But I know I have to be patient, and instead of getting upset – LEARN :)

  554. Anna Molly says:

    Good night all! Gotta get my beauty sleep for my date tomorrow :)
    Wish me luck :)

  555. Hi RealisticSD – hope the sugar pad is well :-)

    Goodnight all!

  556. RealisticSD says:

    Yaz, what an awful experience. The guy obviously doesn’t know what a sugar-baby is. Unfortunately there is a lot of escortish behavior on both sides on this site, yet there is so much pleasure in providing for and taking care of a sugar-baby that these escort-minded SDs and SBs are truly missing out.

  557. RealisticSD says:

    NC Gent, I am impressed by your patience giving an SB 2 months to decide. I am more of the let-me-know-right-now type. No patience at all.

    As for your saying, “I provide my full name and cell phone number prior to a meeting, and I encourage the SB to google me,” –Ditto. I was starting to think that I’ve been foolish doing that all along.

    As for your saying, “She is mid-20s and I think she is feeling guilty about my marital status,” I had an SB, after 2 months, complain that she has a problem with my being married. Really?! Shouldn’t she have figured that out before? Of course, she had no problem taking what would otherwise be my wife and kids’ money. Of course the whole cheating thing is wierd for many people, but make up your mind before you date a married SD.

  558. RealisticSD says:

    I think the issue of non-answered messages brought up at the beginning of this blog has been discussed many times before. When my profile was available for search, I got hundreds of messages. I quickly learned that if I write that I am not interested for whatever reason, the pot SB just takes that as an opening to write back more, so I decided just not to respond unless I have interest. I don’t have the time or patience to correspond with people I am not interested in and I don’t expect anyone to be hurt by my lack of a response.

  559. RealisticSD says:

    Queenbee4you, I have generally given a monetary gift for the first meeting, but no more. The first meeting is just to see if there is mutual chemistry, and if there is, I will tell the SB exactly what kind of arrangement I want. If she agrees, she’ll get her monthly allowance on meeting #2 and it is then her job to show me that she can make me happy enough to stick around, in which case things continue until they run their natural course. As for drinks, I prefer that to dinner for a first meet, because many SBs are completely nuts or unattractive and I don’t want to waste a precious free evening on them (sorry, but as a married man, evening time is at a premium).

  560. 2Chic says:

    A woman is attracted to a successful man. Wanting a man who can afford to share the finer side of life as well as provide security. There is nothing wrong with that. The twist is they think we need them, and we do not. We all have desires to excel in life and I am sure someone helped them once or twice along their way in life. I let them know from the start, I am not dumb, and I am moving forward. With or without them in my life. Yaz, I am in the process of leaving a man…my “husband” who disrespected me daily. Not a SD, but the man I married. It is not about a SD/SB it is about your power don’t give it away, he will use it against you to break you. Girl….hold your head up, and know you are stronger than that.

  561. Rudy says:

    Yaz, let them take it! You are a lady and not worth their time. That is probably all they will get out of that person ($300) and that SD will move on to the next conquest. You don’t even want someone like that. I had a SD send me a nasty email because I turned down an offer. He just assumed because he had $$$$ I would jump at the opportunity, but I knew he was just looking for sex. His response indicated he does not hear the word ‘no’, but I have a right to be picky and so do you. You are not boring anyone we are here to offer support :)

    I have to hit the daily grind tomorrow so I am heading off to bed, goodnight everyone :)

  562. Margo says:

    The most important thing I’ve learned regarding sugar relationship that this is not about paying for sex but about giving and appreciation. Sex is a part of the relationship, but sex by itself is cheap and does not worth much. Conversations are part of relationship too, but who cares about conversations with people we don’t appreciate!
    Building relationship with a right person is important. What I mean here is a sugar relationship – no strings, no drama.

  563. Yaz10 says:

    Thanks Rudy….

    So many things running through my mind tonight but I don’t want to bore you guys with another long post

  564. Rudy says:

    Oh Yaz I am really sorry to hear about your date :( He is NOT worth your time. Don’t let this guy discourage you, it’s obvious he is on the wrong site. You were smart and didn’t allow him to take advantage of you so you should not be upset at all. I have been burned before and I am thankful for this blog…you guys have given me so much insight…especially you! So, you can’t delete your profile :)

  565. Yaz10 says:

    I have this very persistent feeling that I will meet my SD IRL…I dont know why….

  566. Yaz10 says:

    Thanks guys but the reason why I am saying that is simple: A LOT of men not just him have very little respect for sugar babies. Disaster story after disaster story one can tell that many men on this site think that they are paying for sex. Think about it. There are 20-30 SBs for one SD. If one refuses that $300 another one will gladly take it. So they think hey, I can get sex here for very cheap since there are so many girls in need of help here…..

  567. Night Lisa

    Hang in there Yaz. A thick skin is a prerequisite here.

    I didn’t know Tom Selleck lived in MI “:-)

  568. 2Chic says:

    He is a “jerk” and if he ever contact you again ….read him hard!

  569. EastCoastFilly says:

    Yaz…thats what you need to remember, no one can make you feel anything!!! Only you have that power. You know who you are, how can you let a man who you’ve met once have any say in who you are as a woman, they don’t know you! When this type of stuff happens you need to learn how to let it go sweetheart!

  570. Yaz10 says:

    People on this site can make you feel like such a loser…. :-(

  571. Taz says:

    Apparently we understand where these guys are used to going for companionship….is there not an sb/sd school out there??? Anybody want to have a partnership lol??

  572. EastCoastFilly says:

    Hey Yaz, thanks for sharing. I hate to say it but this is all too common. boy have I been there! I’ve been burned a couple times but you need to put it behind you…like now! Don’t waste one more second on this guy. You really need a thick skin to be successful in all this. I just cop it up to a great story and some good laughs with my girlfriends who know about this part of my life.

    Think of it as practice, like in real life dating. Every time you’ll meet someone new you’ll have more practice for the next guy who comes along so you won’t be nervous and you’ll know how to handle an ass like this. If this should happen again, don’t take it personally. Chances are someone has accepted a pitiful offer like this in the past so those guys think its normal. Just look at them and laugh and move on. You know who you are, thats all that matters. Chin up girl!! The right guy is out there, you just have to weed through to find him. If I am correct n thinking that this is your first pot….only a few lucky people have met someone right away. It may take some time so be patient and take every date and every misstep as a learning experience.

  573. Amazon goddess says:

    Yaz, you are not alone, this sounds exactly like my very first date that I had last week. Only you were offered $100 more than I was. He was nice looking, polite, smart and he was also married, and wanted a “per encounter” arrangement. It can be hard not to be insulted.

  574. Margo says:

    Right, Lisa. And it sounds innocent if a girl wants a piece of cheese. Cheese is not as expensive as jewelery or shoes.
    If he says he will wait outside or allow you to pay, you just smile and buy that cheese, but you will know for sure that he is a wrong guy. The pot I met today invited me to NYC, he said he would pay for my flight ticket and my hotel room, and he wrote in his email: “you don’t need any money, I’m your host.” How can I believe that?

  575. lisa says:

    ok the nyquil has taken control, off to bed I go, lol I ryme, bed time

    Good night :)

  576. 2Chic says:

    Yaz, don’t waste your tears on that joker. He is not worth it.
    You are lovely, and sometimes we have to get pricked with a thorn to get to the roses. He was just a thorn dear. Dust your shoulders off ans know that it was his lost.

    whoa, now I am having sec thoughts, the dumpy dude might follow through and keep his word vesus the really suave guy. my downfall all my life were the pretty boys. hey….

  577. Anna Molly says:

    Yaz ~ What an arschloch! I’m sorry you had such a terrible experience.

  578. Taz says:

    Yaz – HUGS to you..but I understand – been there…at least he wanted to get a HOTEL and not a MOTEL…if that makes you feel ANY better at all?!?! Don’t be too discouraged hun – keep your chin up and DO NOT delete your profile :)

  579. lisa says:

    Percy says “I love you” back and he would like you to send him some pictures.

  580. lisa says:

    I wouldn’t know as I have a flying rat (aka a pigeon) :)
    that is a good sd test though, could be used at a bookstore, chocolate shop, etc.

  581. Stephanie says:

    Midwest SB: Thanks for your help. Thank you sugar fam for the input. I will be rearranging and changing my profile yet again. Hopefully this time things will be beneficial.

    Yaz10: WOW. The sad thing is, is that I am sure that similar scenario has happened to many others. Its amazing to me when men on here have no clue of what a SD/SB relationship is. They have no clue of the blog or the book either! Geez. I’m sorry that has happened to you. If anything, that man should feel embarrassed for himself.

  582. Lisa, my pet rat takes offense to that remark :-) :-) YES…and they make awesome pets (for my son).

  583. lisa says:

    I guess i’m in a nyquil state right now, but at least he’s offering something as alot of ladies on the site have met guys that want free test drives, it isn’t what you are looking or but probably alot of the 18 year olds would take it. Don’t give up though, not all sds are like that

    Margo, great test, the fact that he would wait outside made it obvious he wasn’t going to pay for it, a man who won’t pay for cheese, well is a rat, lol

  584. Yaz- sorry for your disappointment. Nobody wants to bee confused for an escort or pay for play. He needs to read the blog to learn the sb/sd etiquette. Next!!! You’re beautiful and will find an amazing SD!

  585. Rudy says:

    Villa, sorry to hear about your accident; I hope you make a quick recovery.

    Michael: I agree with your earlier post that the majority of the SBs on here are getting by just fine, but the extra help would be nice. Some of the SDs on here assume SBs don’t have options.

    TXSB: I hope you have a great time on your trip :)

  586. Anna Molly says:

    Reminds me of Mr. $350 I had not too long ago…ugh.

  587. Margo says:

    My lunch today was in my favorite mall. When we left the restaurant, he mentioned that the mall looked very upscale, and I probably didn’t shop there. I said – sometimes I buy here cheese. He asked if I wanted to get that cheese. Then we went to the store, but he said he would wait outside :)

    Maybe this is a good early test to see if a guy is willing to spend money on you. I have another lunch date tomorrow, and if I like him, after the lunch would say that I want to buy some cheese.

  588. Yaz10 says:

    Sorry for the long post guys :-( I tried to make it as short as possible…

  589. Yaz10 says:

    The GOOD ( or maybe not so good after all..)

    I get there and the guy looks exactly like his pics. Clean cut, well dressed, he looked even a bit younger than in his pictures. We hit it off from the get go. When I first walked in, he raised his eyebrows in shock and told me that he didnt think it was me he had seen in the pictures. He said I looked ten times better in person and that the pics weren’t doing me any justice ( No wonder I barely get any emails at all :-( He is not the first guy to tell me that) He immediately offered that we go to a restaurant to get lunch ( it was around noonish) but I politely declined and said that we should talk first.
    We talked a bit about his job and mine, he is very funny and made sure I was comfortable and all. The chemistry was definitely there and we talked for a while, never a moment of silence.

    The BAD ( Ugh)

    He was looking at me funny with a smile on his face. Many times I caught him stealing “peeks” but I didnt say anything. He kept saying ” You are gorgeous and we could have a lot of fun together”. ( That should have been the time for me to run away as fast as I could)
    He then told me he was married, well separated…..???? WTH? His profile said single. Another red flag.
    Anyways, he said that he would like to take me here and there blah blah blah blah ( let me spare you guys all the sweet talking and probably lies).
    He also told me that he was not at all looking for sex but companionship and that he would give me all the time I needed to think about what would make me happy in terms of financial assistance.

    The UGLY ( And I mean Ewwwwww Ugly!) :-(

    He offered to take me to the mall so I could do a little shopping and again I politely refused…I mean we hadn’t talked about an arrangement yet so why start spending his money?
    So he walks me to my car and ask me to please call him as soon as I get home. I did.

    Ugh. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry.

    As soon as I call him, he asks me when would be the next time we could meeet and go shopping. He said he was dying to see me again and that I had made a very good first impression on him. He then asked me if I had thought about what would make me happy in terms of financial assistance. I told him what I was looking for and thats when he dropped the bomb. He said he would pay for my gas to go meet him in a hotel ( WTF???????), spend a few hours together ( since he is married) and then give me $300 or more each time we would meet. ( WTF????)
    I had so much running through my mind at that point and I was trying my best no to explode so I just wished him luck and told him that if I needed $300 for a few hours with a man then I could just get it IRL and I didnt need to look for a SD. He quickly apologized and said I should think about it again and that he really wanted us to be together.

    Ok my post is already too long and I am sure you guys get the idea of what a disaster and a waste of time this whole thing was so I will just stop there. Again, I wished him luck and hung up the phone. Now, I dont know if I should cry, laugh or just delete my profile.

  590. Anna Molly says:

    Hello Midwest SB formerly New SB in SB 395409 :)

  591. Oh Yaz…Whatever happened, we’re here for you. So sorry for the bad day. ***hugs***

  592. Evening sugars!

    I think it’s time to update my blog name to save confusion.

    Stephanie – you are beautiful! I agree with NYGent in keeping your profile playful, yet getting the point across. He does have a point about taking care of your brother. It’s sad and honorable and you deserve a lot of credit for doing so. However, I believe SDs are looking to minimize worries and concern. That said, I have seen a few sds here who have large hearts and want to help a girl out in yor situation. That can come up once you get to know someone better and feel comfortable with one another.

    Blog questions:
    I have learned patience, that there is sooooo much to the value to the blog and the people who participate. Finally, I have learned to trust my instincts.

    I have found others advice about profiles has helped me greatly. I do think people have great intentions when offering advice and any misinterpretations are usually due to the fact that it’s tough to judge emotion in text.

  593. Anna Molly says:

    Hey Yaz, sorry it didn’t go too well :(

    Hope you get well soon Villa

    Hello to everyone :)

  594. EastCoastFilly says:

    Is he the resurfacing guy?

  595. lisa says:

    Our ears are open Yaz10, please share your experience

  596. Yaz10 says:

    Don’t even know where to start…

  597. EastCoastFilly says:

    Hey Yaz, I keep popping into the blog, working late tonight…need to vent? What happened?

  598. Yaz10 says:

    Hi Sugar Fam…Back from the date…Very depressed at the moment. Who wants to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly? :-(
    I am really starting to think that I am on the wrong site…

  599. stephanie says:

    NeOhio SB: Thanks for your input. I do actually look outside of the Pgh area. I’d prefer to shy away from Pgh because how it is such a small city in a sense. my email is morgan.mask at yahoo dot com. email me all your insight.

    I am running out again for dinner! I will refresh on the blog later and take everyone’s advice into consideration. Thanks a bunch!!

  600. 2Chic says:

    VC- hope your recovery is speedy, take care of yourself dear.

  601. 2Chic says:

    What are the most important thing’s you’ve learned in your sugar journey so far?
    A lot of the men contradict themselves, they say that want this, and then they go with that.

    Do you like reviewing/critiquing profiles of fellow sugar daddies and sugar babies?
    Have not critiqued, more than open to help it when all possible.

    Are there any ‘appropriate guidelines’ of criticism?
    Had a doc inform me to reveal more of my body, I hid my profile for about 2 months after that..lol. That’s not my type of party, and so I laid low for a while, now I have emerged and choose to do”me”….lol. Love it of Leave it.

  602. Taz says:

    VC – maybe just upset I broadcasted it on the blog 😛 Not for telling you specifically…and sorry to hear about your arm :(

  603. NeOhio SB says:

    This entire site…emails, postings, etc…are all on Pacific Coast Time…so…they will always show 3 hours behind us on the East Coast. :)

  604. NeOhio SB says:

    NYGent ~~
    Good evening to you…Actually it was I who made the comment to Stephanie…being in my area (as you know where i am)…..i know the prospect SDs on this site from Pittsburgh….and from my own experience, i have learned through experience to seek out of this entire area……Her being a newbie here, i was offering my Buckeye and pittsburghese expertise to help her avoid downfalls with pot SDs here that are just going to stray her along the wrong path. Unf. it is true.

  605. NYGent says:

    Stephanie: your profile and pics are very well put together. Two suggestions: (1) consider dropping reference to taking care of your 15 y.o. brother, it may give SDs the idea that you’re looking for them to do so instead (2) I would be a little more subtle on the test drive issue. comes across a little angry at the end. maybe just insert somewhere “(btw no free test drives!)”, it gets your point across in a more playful manner.

    i also agree with the comment (not sure if was relative to yours or somebody else’s profile) that if you’re willing to travel you should say so bec. Pittsburgh is not that big a hub.

    hope this helps.

  606. Rachel 386002 says:

    WOW timestamp is REALLY off now…. it’s 7:12pm in CT and it says on the post 4:12pm!!!!

  607. Rachel 386002 says:

    Hello everyone, I’m back out of lurking mode. Miss me? LOL! Villa… sorry to hear about your roller blading accident!

    Blog question answers: Most important thing learned: PATIENCE… which I struggle with from time to time. I have come to a realization this past weekend…. If I find a SD that is right for me, GREAT, if not that will be okay too.

    I welcome critiquing and criticism on my profile. Other SB can help with assisting you in presenting what you are trying to get out across to your potential SD. The SD can assist you in editing it to appeal more to them… almost like a sugar coating.

  608. VillaCypris says:

    i’m off to dinner. ciao~~~~~~~~~~

  609. VillaCypris says:

    hello little sis!!!! sending you lots of warm hugs!!!!!! xoxox

  610. VillaCypris says:

    ciao lisa! stay cool!! :)

  611. lisa says:

    pumpkin pie latte, that sounds so good right now, but it’s plain coffee for me tonight, it’s dark outside, so i’m inside.


  612. Flo Rida says:

    Greetings from Prague – Prague is beautiful but I wish I could say I was happy here BUT i just got a crappy distressed call from one of my best friends whom I’ve known for ages, and I feel so terrible that i’m in Europe and he’s miles away. I feel like crying and feel so low. I know i’ll bounce back but sometimes life can really suck.

    Also on a completely separate note, I just met someone who was arrested for fraud (I live a strange life), but I now know how he thinks and how he deceives and how someone can protect themselves (as much as one can be protected). Part of me wants to share this with people so they can protect themselves, BUT I’m not sure I should share this with people as the more you know to protect yourselves EQUALLY the more the deceitful people know who can use the information to deceive – I’m really distressed at the moral dilemma – do you think I should stay silent?

    Pandora’s box?

  613. lisa says:

    Now to answer the question:

    I have learned that it isn’t as easy at it looks and not to expect hundreds of messages like on the regular dating sites. A large percentage of the Sds are on here with now clue what the site involves, many think it’s just another site, some are just “seeing what it’s about”.

    I have also learned that it is possible and can happen. Even at my age I have met several gentleman that have been generous, had a couple short arrangments that made it possible for me to enjoy life a little. And then found my current gentleman friend who has been very kind to me.

    I just wished I would have had this opportunity back when I was a young woman starting out in the world. The internet didn’t exist back then though and I lived in a small town which to this day only has one or two sd members.

    Going to relax now. Very tired from work and this darn warm weather, it was 81 degrees.

  614. Rudy says:

    2Chic: I don’t think there is anything wrong with turning down a pot SD if you don’t find him somewhat attractive. Don’t settle, you won’t be happy if you do and it will cause problems later.

  615. VillaCypris says:

    Thanks Lisa. Ironically, i was about 200 feet from the coffee depot, where i planned to get a pumpkin pie latte!! and instead ended up slamming into the concrete path with my left hand. a nice young policeman gave me aride back to the car though.

    and i agree with you, little things are oft the most important!

  616. lisa says:

    yes and the best ones are the ones that tell you about their teenage daughters wanting coach purses and them saying no woman needs a 300 dollar purse, lol If a man won’t spend money on his kids, and thinks 300 dollars is alot of money for a purse, he obviously won’t be a big spender.

  617. lisa says:

    Sorry to hear about that Villa, see you keep your body so healthy that you have to find other ways to hurt yourself. Hope you feel better really soon.

    Sorry about your date Margo and yes you can tell alot of a person from observing little things.

  618. VillaCypris says:

    Thanks Margo! haven’t crashed since 1991. waiting for my dad to call, he took my xrays to the ortho surgeon…. sux :(

    sorry about your lunch, there you have one of the tells i mentioned…. complaining about what things cost…..

  619. Margo says:

    Too bad to hear that!

  620. Margo says:

    Hi Sugar Blog,
    Today I had lunch with pot SD, and want to share. Having lunch with someone provides you with important info, and this is not only what he is telling you. This is how he spends his money and what he orders. That guy treated me well, but he complained that small things (like parking) were too expensive. So I don’t believe he is likely to pay an allowance, and I wouldn’t talk to him about that.

    I thanked him for the nice lunch, but don’t want to send a thank you email. Maybe that is rude, but even after job interview I usually email them only if I am interested.

  621. 2Chic says:

    typo. meant to say what if some of us on this board are seeing the same SD.

  622. VillaCypris says:

    hi Lisa!! yay!!! i’m so proud of you!!!! 😀 my mom is going to make me dinner, as i crashed on my rollerblades yesterday and broke my left arm :( a distal radial fracture, to be precise. could have worse! hard to do things w one hand, including type!!!!!!

  623. 2Chic says:

    Thanks Taz = he is quiet nice from our communications, he wants to do dinner and I am like…ugh. I just don’t want to pass up a possible good man cuz he is not GQ.
    I have one who is just pure fine, but he only gives when he sees me, and it is not an allowance, he is soooo cool and a very dear to me. He is also married which is better “for me”.

    I have another POT who wants to meet like now, and wants me to canx appts to meet. IDK….he better not waste my time.
    It was slow at first, but now it is all flowing, I guess new photos did not hurt either…lol. Gosh…what some of us are like seeing the same suga’s….thats funny!

  624. VillaCypris says:

    Taz – she and I are good friends, she won’t be upset.

    2chic – don’t compromise on your preferences!

  625. lisa says:

    Good afternoon everyone

    Hi Villa, Having cantaloupe and walnuts for dinner. This healthy eating is draining my finances though, why isn’t there a 99c menu? lol

    Have a good evening everyone

  626. Taz says:

    2Chic – if a pot is not for you – he is not for you…we all have personal preferences :)

  627. Taz says:

    VC – talk to her! I have been trying for three days :( I miss her on here…hope she is not mad at me for telling you….:(

  628. 2Chic says:

    Hi Suga’s
    Do you think it is shallow to turn away a POT if he is not all that in the looks department? Not ugly, but not GQ either. More of the Teddy bear ahhhh cute.

    Also NewSB in NC, I am originally from the coast of NC, and many of the fellas do not think for themselves. What ever the crowd does, they will blend.
    Shout out to my fellow N.Carolindians.

  629. VillaCypris says:

    always2sweet – that has happened several times i believe….

  630. VillaCypris says:

    Taz – really?????? Why???? :( i’ll email her.

  631. VillaCypris says:

    The most important thing I have learned is to trust no one …. people with whom I thought I had developed friendships, or potential friendships, disappear into the ether, without due cause or notice.

    I have become more skilled at picking up “tells” … as they look for in jury selection…… looks, words, body language which reveal someone’s true feelings or intent, usually subconsciously and in contrast to their conscious behaviour.

  632. always2sweet says:

    aww, thats really nice. The sugar fam on the blog seems so sweet!(this sounds way more cheesey than I meant for it to lol). Has anyone here had, heard of, or thought about seeking an arrangement from someone based on talking to them or seeing their blog posts? Seems like to me atleast it could have happened.

  633. Taz says:

    Beach may not be on this site or blog any longer :( :(

  634. VillaCypris says:

    speaking of telling someone where you live…..Beach Girl sent me some vanilla tea!!! just got it today 😀 so if any SDs are looking for a reliable, trustworthy SB, contact Beach!!! too many people make promises and never follow through -those that keep their word are rare indeed!! merci mon amie!!!!

  635. Taz says:

    Lmao – I have no idea why 😛 Maybe wanted to see if you were in Canada? Lol…I need some sleep…

    I assure you – I am not an axe murderer 😛

  636. always2sweet says:

    hey Taz, why did you ask where I lived before? I told you by the way, so please dont come ax murder me lol 😉

  637. always2sweet says:

    Thanks for answering that question OC, I asked on the last blog, but I dont think anyone ever said how.

    Still havent heard from any of the pot SDs that emailed me yeserday, but I only emailed them back last night, so I guess I need to keep practicing that whole patience thing lol.

  638. Taz says:

    No worries Rudy :) I knew what you meant 😛

  639. Rudy says:

    lol…Taz sorry I spelled your name wrong earlier! I didn’t mean Tax :)

    Kitten26: Good luck meeting your pot SD!

    Welcome Bobby and other newbies :)

  640. NC Gent says:

    I am the damn yankee variety Dee :)

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Amazon Goddess, I am not sure if anyone saw your post earlier today and explained how to search a profile by number.
      -If it is a SB profile you are seeking just open a SB profile and in the address field back out the old profile number and replace it with the one you are seeking.
      -If it is a SD profile you are seeking just open a SD profile and do the same thing

      Hope that helps and welcome to the blog! :)

  641. Anna Molly says:

    NewSB in NC ~ I have both. Two head shots and a body shot.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Bobby welcome to the blog! I am sorry you are having a frustrating time with your search. Maybe we can help. Let us know what your frustrations are.

  642. Just Dee in NC says:

    NC Gent – ROFL! But are you one of the Y’s down there, or are you a Tarheel by birth? :-)

  643. NewSB in NC says:

    What type of photos do you have up Anna? Fully body or headshots?

  644. Rudy says:

    Hi Everyone :)

    Just Dee In NC: I can relate to your experience while viewing profiles.

    Bijoux: Keep your head up; there is a great SD out there for you and you certainly don’t want a SD that has bad manners.

    Tax: I hope everything works out with your pot SD :)

    One of the biggest lessons I have learned is patience is definitely a virtue on this site and to carefully read profiles and check photos. This blog has been very helpful in advising SBs about SDs profile and vice versa.

    I think it’s great if someone reviews/critiques your profile and provides constructive criticism. For those of us who are new at this it can be very helpful because you might unknowingly send out the wrong signals.

    A common theme I have noticed while viewing profiles is the narcissistic tone so many of the SD profiles I have viewed have. The first sentence in their profile starts, “I have no problem getting the ladies” or “I can have any woman I want”….I am not sure while they feel the need to preface their reason for choosing this site that way. In my opinion it really means they have a hard time meeting people because they so full of themselves! If someone mentions their job as the reason, that is understandable.

    I had some guy email me and this is exactly what the email said: “Wanna cum play with me?”….ewwwwww

  645. Muse says:

    TXSB – You don’t have to say it’s a last minute deal. I’ve been finding amazing deals through places like airfarewatchdog and travelzoo that you can buy now for a month or two from now.

    I think keeping things simple and lying as little as possible makes things easiest. You are going on a very good deal (no cost to you!) vacation with a (very good) friend you recently met.

  646. Anna Molly says:

    My luck is certainly changing :)

    The new pictures are helping :)

  647. kitten26 says:

    Well Im off to do my nails before the first meeting with mystery no name pot SD , wish me luck !

  648. TXSB says:

    Oh I didn’t even think about that…thanks! Gah….it’s soo hard keeping it to myself! :(

  649. Taz says:

    TXSB – make sure you wait as long as you can to spill – then you can say you found a great last minute deal lol

  650. NewSB in NC says:

    This is true..But I feel lke the men here are their own specific sex.LOL.. It’s hard to explain..You just have to live here to understand I suppose…the men are just..weird.

  651. TXSB says:

    NC Gent:
    I know it sounds “weird” but yes….I don’t have a very big social circle. The few friends I have either live in the city I’m currently in OR live in the city where I grew up (where my family still lives). I’m ALWAYS in one of these 2 cities during holidays and ALWAYS end up seeing friends on the town. And these friends all know each other. This will be the 1st time in my entire life where I’ll be somewhere else. :(


    I like that idea. It sounds simple….can’t believe I didn’t think of it! I found a great deal and I can easily say I’m going with someone I recently met. I don’t want to lie about going b/c that just means I have to watch what I’m saying to all my friends and that’s too stressful…..plus in my excitement I may just blurt it out. OK….so this is the story I’m going with. :)

  652. kitten26 says:

    TXSB — you won a trip to Cancun ? heck , idk , Im out of ideas

  653. Muse says:

    TXSB – why don’t you tell everyone you’re going to Cancun with a friend? You found a really good deal (common in this economy) and are going away with a friend from college or someone all your local friends wouldn’t know?

    Telling people you’re going would be easier than lying about the trip in general. And this way you can explain your tan and show off your beautiful photos.

  654. kitten26 says:

    NewSB –

    I dont just think its NC , I think men everywhere will at least TRY and get something for nothing , I dont think that region specific :-)

  655. TXSB says:

    All SDs on the blog are awesome…..we need more of you out there! :)

  656. NC Gent says:

    TXSB — do you need to tell them anything?

  657. TXSB says:

    I’d rather not say but trust me, I’ve NEVER travelled for work….and besides, this is a trip outside of the U.S. No matter what my job is, no one’s going to believe I’m going to Cancun for work right around Christmas. :(

  658. NC Gent says:

    I am sorry to hear that the NC men you have met have been bad experiences. NY Gent is one of the nicest guys in the blog, so at least the State of NY is consistent :)

  659. NewSB in NC says:

    I’ve had more luck meeting pots in person in NC, but they all turned out to either want something for nothing or say the have houses in the Caribbean, but it turns out to be their friend’s >:(

  660. kitten26 says:

    Hmmmm, well , if its not too invasive , what do you do for work ? Could it be a convention or seminar for your job maybe ?

  661. NewSB in NC says:

    Hmm..I’m originally from NY, and since moving here, I’ve had the weirdest, bordering on gross, experiences with the men here…

  662. TXSB says:

    Yea….I never travel for work so that excuse doesn’t work. :(

  663. kitten26 says:


    Well, I trave for work alot . So I just say its a work trip . If you dont have a job where you ever might travel , Im not too sure .

    I have a question —

    Commerical flights , you get an e-ticket for and that a fairly good sign youre actually going to meet somone . But what if youre planning a trip to meet a pot , and youre going via private jet . Is there any confirmation you get as a passenger on those ? ( Or record if a disappear for some reason lol ) ,

  664. NC Gent says:

    Hi Anna — I know you didn’t :)

  665. Anna Molly says:

    I never said you didn’t treat women well NC :)

  666. NC Gent says:

    NewSB in NC — I grew up in Michigan, but that certainly doesn’t exclude me from being a rube :) I think I treat women well, but there are others here who disagreed a few blogs ago lol

  667. always2sweet says:

    oh kitten for sure I am not going to go counting chickens lol. If something comes of it great, if not then I move on. But its a little nice, but I am definately going to be realistic. It just also made me realize that I had not yet prepared myself for someone to actually get the ball rolling, and what I would do if it did. I need to think about that. I mean I hoped for something to happen of course, guess I just never really thought very far ahead about the whole thing and what I would do if a pot or even an arrangement were to for real become a possibility, ya know

  668. TXSB says:

    When you go on trips w/ a SD, how the heck do you explain it to friends or family?

    SD booked our trip a few days ago…..and I’m not sure how to handle the question of who I’m going with from friends. I’m VERY excited about this trip and afraid I may blurt out me going to someone….and all my friends know I’m not dating anyone right now.

  669. kitten26 says:

    I agree with TXSB — just take it slow :-)

  670. NewSB in NC says:

    TXSB, I also don’t get too bent out of shape when men don’t reply..There are a ton of men on different sites that I’m a member of that I don’t respond to..It just goes with the territory…Especially since there are more SBs than SDs

  671. kitten26 says:

    Always2sweet –
    I thinkyou can still relax for now . Have you gotten any flight info ( e-ticket) emailed to you ? Until I have that , ( and sometimes , not even then ) I dont count my chickens till theyve hatched .
    Im the same way though as you , I get all these great pots , get all excited , that talk a really good game , make plans with you , talk about trips , etc , . . . . and then POOF ! Until I meet them face to face anything can happen . I honeslty have 3 flight vouchers because SDs have flaked after getting me non-refundable flights .

  672. Taz says:

    ha a lid for every pot 😛 😛 my mind is going too fast lol

  673. Taz says:

    TXSB – I do not take it personally at all! As you say a pot for every hat! I think you need a bit thick skin…you can’t take things so personally – beauty is in the eye of the beholder…AND there are sooooo many more factors than that!

  674. TXSB says:

    Congrats on the 3 pots! :) Take things slow…and of course, the blog is here if you need any specific advise. Good luck!

  675. Amazon goddess says:

    How do search by profile number?

  676. TXSB says:

    Am I the only SB here who didn’t care when SD’s didn’t reply to my messages? While searching, I wrote to quite a few SD’s when I liked their profile….some wrote me back (including my current SD!) but there were others who never bothered. I didn’t have a pic on my profile so I had to e-mail pics when someone contacted me or responded to my message. Quite a few men never wrote me back once they saw my pic.

    Yet this never bothered me. Without giving it a 2nd thought I moved on. The way I saw it is that just like in IRL dating…..not every man has the same manners or taste in women. I never took it personally or had it effect the way I see myself. Am I the only one who feels this way?

  677. always2sweet says:

    just wanted to update that somehow I went from 0 contact or people just telling me how cute but too far away I am to being contacted by not 1, not 2…but 3 SDs from another site last night. One asked if he could get to know me a bit then fly me to Chicago to meet with him, another wants to come to me, and the third was just like “hi”. Now I am all excited, and super nervous! I definately want to see how this whole process works out, but am realizing how foreign this whole concept is to me at the mere idea of a pot SD. Im not getting cold feet though(well I suppose that remains to be seen lol) but the butterflies are definately going nuts in my tummy. I think I am more nervous about them not liking me more than me not liking them. Ah the neurosis! HAHA! Not sure what to do!

  678. NewSB in NC says:

    NC Gent, were you born and raised in NC? I find the men here to be rubes…no couth and certainly no idea how to treat a woman..

  679. TXSB says:

    NC Gent:
    Awww…. :) I wish you luck….hopefully this girl realizes that she found one of the “rare ones” and decides to hold onto you. :)

  680. NC Gent says:

    I have actually been courting her a few months — only a few weeks so far on the making up the mind…. not much longer, but I really do like her :)

  681. TXSB says:

    “kitten26 says:
    How long should you wait for someone to make a decision , once all the cards are laid out , to make a decision on if its something they want to commit to or not ?”

    With my potential SD’s, I knew after the 1st date whether or not I wanted to see them again. With my SD, we exchanged LOOOONG, detailed e-mails for 1 week….our 1st date was on a Tuesday. Wednesday he asked me to meet him and a co-worker for dinner on Thursday. It also also on Wednesday that he offered me an arrangement through e-mail and I accepted. When I met him for dinner the next day (Thursday), he gave me my full month’s allowance and that was it. :)

    I would still talk to/keep in touch with the potential for as long as he wants. If he wants to meet for drinks/dinner for a year….that’s fine….after all, he’s paying for it all. I have nothing to lose. I would make it clear to him that until he offers me an arrangement, I still consider myself “available” and will be actively searching for a SD. I would also not do anything physical at all with someone who hasn’t offered an arrangement/paid at least half the allowance (no kissing, touching, nude pics etc).

  682. NewSB in NC says:

    I turn 23 my birthday..I didn’t realize that he was in his 60s

  683. TXSB says:

    NC Gent:
    Wow….waiting 2 months for a potential SB to make up her mind….you’re definately patient! :) I’m curious….how much longer are you willing to give this girl?

  684. kitten26 says:

    Yeah , I really dont care what they may think , but I do care about how I feel and look .

  685. Bobby says:

    This site is a big waste of time. I have been on here for awhile now and all i get are old guys who have no life i guess. Endless e mails and lies. I think the site is a big waste of time.

  686. TXSB says:

    “kitten26 says:
    TXSB– wouldnt that make me look kinda bad ? Kinda “professional” ?”

    To who? The bartender? Hostess? Do you really care what they think of you? On a side note, this has been discussed in previous blogs…..but as someone who has years of experience working in the restaurant industry (I’ve worked as a waitress, bartender, and hostess)….believe me when I say they really don’t care if you’re a “pro” or not. They’ve seen it all…and heard it all.

  687. kitten26 says:

    New SB —

    Its just personal perference , Ive even gotten rejected recently for being too young and Im 30 ! But then again , he was single and looking for a wife , so that rejection is fine with me .

    NC Gent –

    Until someone gives you the commit , I wouldnt take yourself out of it at all. . . . In my case , I have so many pots that even flake on the first meeting , I have to email chat with a few at a time so hopefully maybe 1 out of 10 , might actually show up , and if they do show– be who they say they are

  688. Anna Molly says:

    Well said NEOhio SB

  689. NewSB in NC says:

    I guess I need the insight Anna! LOL!

  690. NewSB in NC says:

    I suppose I still have an out-dated view of SD/SB dynamics..Hence “NEWSB” LOL!! Thanks for the clarification NeOhio!

  691. Anna Molly says:

    I’m sure the blog SD’s can give you some insite on this one :)

  692. NeOhio SB says:

    NewSB in NC ~~ You will soon learn, all of the SDs are attracted to diff things and seeking diff things, appealing to each individual. Some older men like the young, arm candy…that feeling of helping out a young woman is very appealing to them…others prefer a more mature, experienced, sophisticated, sensual, passionate and well traveled woman where they are confidant in the woman they am…and truly add to the gentlemans world. There is much much much diversity. Don’t take it personal…..it is just a personal preference many of the SDs have.

  693. NC Gent says:

    Ok — how old is pretty old? and how young are you? I prefer SBs in late 20s to late 30s, but would consider somewhat younger. I am 48. I would never go for an SB under 21 though – I like to drink socially and don’t want to contribute to the “delinquincy of a minor.”

  694. NewSB in NC says:

    Okay, I had a weird situation happen a few days ago..a pot SD turned me down for being too young…?? Granted, he was pretty old, but I’m not used to rejection, ESP not CYBERSPACE REJECTION! That effects the ego in a completely different way..LOL! And can a girl be too young?? I’ve never heard a man say that until then…hmm

  695. NC Gent says:

    Thanks Kitten — I am wondering that too, and I was tempted to ask the blog. In this case, I think I am being patient because I still enjoy the interaction with her. I have to admit though, I am starting to look for other options, because I am thinking it is about a 50:50 chance she will commit.

  696. NewSB in NC says:

    I KNOW!! He is a renaissance man! and his FACE!!!!! It’s perfect..HE’S perfect! I can go on and on and on and on…. :)

  697. Anna Molly says:

    You know it honey! Brandon Boyd is my dream SD.

    He is an excellent artist too :)

  698. kitten26 says:

    NC GENT –

    Well I hope she comes around for you soon .

    But this is kinda a question to everyone —
    How long should you wait for someone to make a decision , once all the cards are laid out , to make a decision on if its something they want to commit to or not ?

  699. NewSB in NC says:

    I LOVE INCUBUS! Brandon Boyd is the ULTIMATE in sexy! He would be the PERFECT SD! Beauty, brains and a *stellar* bank account..LOL!!

  700. Anna Molly says:

    Yes! You are the first person to ask about that, are you an Incubus fan?

  701. NC Gent says:

    whewwwwwwwwwww thanks for sharing that NewSB in NC :)

  702. NewSB in NC says:

    HI Anna Molly! I must ask, is ur name in reference to the Incubus song??

    NC Gent- I can assure you that I am NOT her! lol!
    1. I’m in my early 20’s.
    2.No qualms about social stigmas.
    3.No SD yet


  703. NeOhio SB says:

    Stephanie~~ I would be more than happy to give you much insight. I am in the Pittsburgh vs. Cleveland demographics….and may have some information for you on the fake, stalkers and poof SDs in the Pitts. area. Unf. i can tell you, you will most likely need to look outside of the area to find the type of SD you are seeking…they just are NOT around this area.
    Can you provide a direct email and Ill be happy to share some insight that as you a younger and newbie may absolutely benefit from.

  704. NC Gent says:

    She is mid-20s and I think she is feeling guilty about my marital status and the perceived social stigma of being an SB.

    Ok — I am pretty much screwed if New SB in NC is her lol

  705. Anna Molly says:

    Hi NewSB in Nc
    I’ll just stick to hi from now on..lol

  706. Anna Molly says:

    lol hello…should say hello…lol

  707. Anna Molly says:

    Hell NCGent :)

  708. NewSB in NC says:

    Hi NC Gent! Hi Taz! Thanks for the well wishes!

  709. kitten26 says:

    NC GENT-
    Thanks :-) But I wrote about the past SDs here in the blog , its not in my profile . I save that until Im emailing a pot and they ask if I have before . If you have already agreed upon everythingand have an understanding , I wonder why shes taken 2 months to decide ? In my past relationships we knew within a day or 2 and both were long-term ,not sure the reason shes so nervous , is she very young?

  710. Taz says:

    Welcome NewSb in NC!! :) Always nice to see new faces around!

  711. NC Gent says:

    Oops got so wordy that I forgot to say hello to Dee — I live and work in the Containment Area.

    Hi NewSB in NC! Best wishes in your search!

  712. Taz says:

    Kitten – There are! Yes the blog sd’s are WONDERFUL and there are wonderful sd’s out there still as well…just few and far between! Be selective – and be patient!

  713. NC Gent says:

    Thanks Kitten — I am semi-taken lol I have been courting a potential SB for about 2 months now, and I am waiting for her to commit. She is nervous about it all, and I haven’t pressured her. To her credit, she said she doesn’t want anything until she commits, although we have agreed upon an allowance.

    I took a look at your profile, Kitten. You are attractive, and I can tell by your writing that you are intelligent. The fact that you have had two long-term SDs is a really good sign too – not sure if you should put that in your profile. I would consider that something very positive because I have had a few SBs unable to commit to the arrangement, for one reason or another. Anyways, I am sure if you are patient, you will find a great SD :)

  714. NewSB in NC says:

    Hi all! I’m new to this blog, but it has REALLY helped me understand the dynamics of SB/SD “relationships”. I’m a young college student looking for an SD, but have found no luck..I totally agree with the recurring theme of “patience” in this post. I’ve had a few pots (still learning the vernacular!), but they’ve all gone bust…or they’ve just been interested in XXX 4 $$$, which is a big turn off. anyway, LOVE this blog and I will certainly be participating in discussions from now!! :)

  715. kitten26 says:

    NC GENT —

    You may be right . And I wish more SDs would be like you , but youre probably already taken as most the good, true SDs are :-(

    Ive had 2 long-term Sds in th past , and both gave me a name and number , didnt request “test drives ” and even showed me a sign of good faith as soon as they decided they wanted to go forward with an arrangement . I just dont think theres any men like them left out there , I hope Im wrong .

  716. NC Gent says:

    Hi Kitten — personally, I don’t think you should have ever agreed to meet him, but it is probably too late now to back out. I will be mildly surprised if he shows up anyways. To me, his behavior indicates that he will likely be dismissive of your feelings and desires. I wouldn’t expect that to get better with time. I know that this may be unusual for SDs, but I provide my full name and cell phone number prior to a meeting, and I encourage the SB to google me. The safety of my potential SB is very important to me, and I don’t want her to compromise her comfort, even if she doesn’t choose me. I usually take a month or two getting to my potential SB, so I usually am more than comfortable regarding trust issues. I won’t meet someone I don’t trust. I haven’t been burnt so far, but there is always a chance I suppose. But if you enter the sugar world as a married SD, you have already elected to take some risks. I don’t feel there is a need for an SB to take unnecessary risks on my behalf.

  717. Stephanie says:

    TXSB, I will definitely change my profile later (yet again, agh). But I’m off to go get my hair done, trim, color, style. I pamper myself well… otherwise, how would I expect someone else to do the same for me? :)

  718. kitten26 says:


    wouldnt that make me look kinda bad ? Kinda “professional” ? If Im meeting some guy at a bar and I dont even know his name ? Even on traditional blind , you normally know the guys name .
    If he confirms for tonight , I’ll tel him the exact outfit Im wearing and because of my hair , I ten d to stick out , there will be no excuse he couldnt find me

  719. Stephanie says:

    Wow, if some guy ever told me that he would be the “tall guy” at the bar…. I’d be talking to everyone haha I’m only 5’1. Interestingly enough no one has ever accused me of being fake. That would drive me nuts if someone said that to me. But you dont have to jump through hoops after hoops for a dry bone!!

    If you are set on going, go. But if he doesn’t show… take it a lesson learned. Not to send a million pictures and some type of confirmation of the guy on the other side, whether it be a photo, a reservation, or even a name!! :)

    I’m open to learning other ways myself. So don’t shoot me for trying to help. I like to think of myself reasonable and logical.

  720. kitten26 says:

    Anyways , Im going to email ( the only form of commincation ) him to confirm we are still on for tonight .
    Meeting is at 9 tonight , so If Im back on this blog at 930 , you’ll all know why . wish me luck.

  721. TXSB says:

    I would say wait a while so other people on the blog can also give you their opinions. :)


    One option for the drink date may be to give the bartender OR hostess your name when you get there…..so when HE gets there, if he can’t spot you, he can ask the bartender or hostess and they can point you out. This way he has no excuse that he “couldn’t find you”.

    Good luck though! I’m very curious to hear details on Mr. Private. :)

  722. TXSB says:

    Gah….I press “submit” too soon. I would also recommend the following:

    1) Write more specifics about your interests. You mention general dining, social events etc. What kind of food do you normally like? What type of social events? Musicals? Plays? Concerts? Have you ever travelled anywhere? If so, mention a few places you’ve travelled. Do you like sports? Whatever your hobbies/interests are, just mention a few specifics.

    2) With SDs, I would also add in if you’re willing/able to travel. That may encourage some SD’s who’re not in your area to contact you….but only add that in IF you really are able/willing to travel.

  723. kitten26 says:

    Stephanie —
    And I addressed all this to him . He flips it on me ! and says how does he know THAT I wont steal his identity , stalk him , etc . What?!
    Then just laughs it off , tels me he doesnt bite , and tels me hell be the tall , dark haired guy at the bar . Really ? Theres lots of tall , dark haired guys . Oh well , If I talk to the wrong guy , Im sure the wrong guy wont have a prob with it , haha.
    Its just that unless I give pot SD all the pics they ask for , they accuse me of not being “real ” , being an agency , being an escort, being spam , etc . So you feel like you have to send them so many pics just so they beileve that you are who you really say you are ! But they can give you nothing , Its a catch 22

  724. Stephanie says:

    Also, I have to figure out these different smiley faces because I’ve never blogged here before

  725. Stephanie says:

    Thanks :o) I try to be lol. Considering that I just put up my profile number, I don’t know if I should change it now or wait until other people can chime in. Also, I emailed a few people earlier today and I’m sure they would hate to read their email and not be able to look at my profile while it is pending approval :o( So I guess I should wait a little bit and see what happens.

  726. TXSB says:

    Firstly, you’re cute! :) I agree that the part about test drives/sneak peeks needs to be taken out. Here’s what I would recommend instead….at the end of the profile, write something similar to “Please keep in mind that I am NOT an escort. I’m not willing to e-mail nude/sexual pictures and I’m also not planning on becoming physical with anyone on the 1st date.”

    I had a line similar to that in my profile when I was searching for a SD and I dunno if it was b/c of that line or just my luck….but out of all the men I contacted and who contacted me, no one ever asked me for any test drives or nude/sexual pics. :)

  727. Stephanie says:

    I think guys get weary when you ask for a photo because some SB may bail and just go for looks. I on the other hand only ask for a photo so I have a visual of who I am communicating with!!

  728. Stephanie says:

    Or if the mystery guy stalks your from afar and never approaches you? That sounds creepy. Sorry, I don’t mean to sound so negative. I’m not at all, but god for bid already. The guy stalls, doesn’t give you any clue to who he is and a crappy photo who could be anyone. He could have at least made reservations somewhere and waiting for you when you get there. Doesn’t he realize the pressure, anxiousness/nervousness you are under too? Its only fair.

  729. kitten26 says:

    Stephanie —

    Well there was my original 3 on my profile ( at the time ), on the first email , he asked for more ( sent 3 more) , the he asked for the unretouched pics ( sent 2 more ) , said they were too small ( sent 2 bigger ones ) okay , so thats 10 , my bad . But when I asked for another pic besides his one fuzzy profile pic , he stalled , said he had to go home and photoshop another, and since we were local we could just meet anyway . So no , Ive gotten the one fuzzy pic on his profile .

    What if I go to the bar and someguy that isnt him starts talking to me , I think its him , and it really isnt , then 10 min later the real mystery walks in ? hahaha

  730. kitten26 says:

    Taz –

    No , I just think hes married , but his profile says single . 😉

    Oh and side note — we were discussing pics last night and retouched vs unretouched . My new one is up so the difference between the 2 is obvious. Pics are so small it really dosesnt matter anyway , but you can def see a difference in skin tone and texture .

  731. Stephanie says:

    You sent him 12 pictures and he has given you no clue of who he is?? I like to always be positive but it may just be from my experience, but he sounds like a picture collector (unless you willingly gave him that many). I get a little peeved when SDs ask for more pictures when I already have 3 posted. I usually send 1-2 more to confirm that I am who I say I am… other than that, having me in person is much better right????

    I have no objections to sending more pictures after we have met at least once. That sounds fair to me.

  732. kitten26 says:

    Stephanie —

    I told him, I hope he knows what I look like , cause (from the fuzzy far way pic he sent me , no name , no number ) I have no idea who Im looking for . So its really a blinddate on my side, however he has my name, number , and 12 pics . Completely fair ! -NOT Its okay , its a nice bar , so youre right , maybe Im meet some other nice guy :-)

  733. Stephanie says:

    Thanks Taz… of everything that I have ever said, not once did I think that could be the issue.

  734. Taz says:

    Kitten – keep positive!! Don’t judge THIS sd for your others mistakes. He may be very high profile and has a need to be discreet. If this one is a flake you will know soon enough – but DON’T go meeting him with that expectation – POSITIVE THOUGHTS!! :)

  735. Stephanie says:

    Kitten26: my patience is wearing just a thin, but I am still hopeful. I had a pot SD refuse to send me a photo but wanted to meet. I told him that he would have to wear a sign so I know who he would be since I wouldn’t know what to look for (I was being playful)…. He disappeared like the others. No meeting. Good luck though. Maybe someone else at the bar will at least pick up your drink and it won’t be a wasteful night.

  736. Taz says:

    Stephanie – I just got some profile advice from a wonderful and seasoned SD – he said to keep ALL negativity out of your profile!…say it positively or don’t say it at all :)

  737. kitten26 says:

    Anna — I finally see you new avi !

    To all — my new pics and profile got approved , yay !

    And . . . . . Im meeting mystery pot tonight for a drink . Dont have a number , dont have a name . I just told him I’ll be the lost looking blonde at the bar . Whats the % you think I will get stood up ? I just had one guy stand me up last week , I cant deal with 2 in 2 weeks . So to answer the blog question — my patience is wearing thin .

  738. Stephanie says:

    Cleo: maybe you’re right, but I will see what others have to say. I put it up as my safety defense to ward off SD who are looking for enjoying the goods w/o commitment or an arrangement…. I get enough of that now these days in the real dating world.

  739. Taz says:

    Yes…indeed…in the meantime there are a few others…but…I have my head set on this one (probably not a good thing…I know from the past)…but I am keeping my options open still…

  740. Anna Molly says:

    Taz, that’s a long time…I feel your pain.

  741. Taz says:

    Congrats skip!!

    and hello TLG and anyone else I missed!!