9 years ago
Sugar for the Cheaters AND the Cheated?



It takes time to develop trust for a potential sugar daddy or sugar baby, and since most here live very busy lives, more… creative means of establishing trust are often implemented.
In the absence of any public appearance following his car-crash/face-scratching incident, Tiger Woods has been marred with rumors of sugar daddy infidelity. Rachel Uchitel, 34, who’s rumored relationship with Woods reportedly sparked last Friday’s argument between Wood’s and his wife Elin Nordegren, 29, has denied that she and Woods were involved in a sugar daddy arrangement. Jamie Grubbs from ‘Tool Academy’, 24, says she’s willing to release text and voice messages that prove Woods infidelity and generous appreciation for the time they spent together – yet as we know, when it comes to gossip, it’s better to ignore than indulge. If there’s one place where those in complicated, difficult , or alternative relationships can find refuge, it’s the Sugarbowl.
Here, there’s no judgment, no condemnation, but plenty of people seeking nothing more than fair, honest relationships.
Cheating and sugar aren’t synonyms, but as many here know, there is much grey area involved when it comes to those who dip into the Sugarbowl without the approval of their significant other(s).  Indeed, a unique aspect about SeekingArrangement and those who use the site is an understanding and appreciation for the individual circumstances that are the driving force for any arrangement.

It takes time to develop trust for a potential Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby, and since most here live very busy lives, more… creative means of establishing trust are often implemented.

In the absence of any public appearance following his car-crash/face-scratching incident, Tiger Woods has been marred with rumors of Sugar Daddy infidelity. Rachel Uchitel, 34, who’s rumored relationship with Woods reportedly sparked last Friday’s argument between him and his wife Elin Nordegren, 29, has denied that she and Woods were involved in a Sugar Daddy arrangement. Another supposed Sugar Baby of Woods – Jamie Grubbs, 24, says she’s willing to release text and voice messages that prove Woods infidelity. Yet as many here have mentioned; when it comes to gossip, it’s almost always better to ignore than to indulge. If there’s one place where those in complicated, difficult, or alternative relationships can find refuge, it should be the Sugarbowl.

Cheating and sugar aren’t synonyms, but as many here know, there is much grey area involved when it comes to those who dip into the Sugarbowl without the approval of their significant other(s). Indeed, a unique aspect of SeekingArrangement and those who use the site is an understanding and appreciation for the individual circumstances that are the driving force behind any arrangement.

Are you married or currently seeing someone outside of the Sugarbowl? Did you join SA before or after you met them? Do they know?

Do you prefer not to know if your potential sugar is in a relationship/married? Why or why not?

Do you think feeling ‘cheated on’  is less of a risk for you in Sugarland? Why or why not?

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1,044 Responses to “Sugar for the Cheaters AND the Cheated?”

  1. Taz says:

    SDN – who me???? Not at all. I am however honest 😉

  2. Anna Molly says:

    Do you want to join me for dinner? They have pasta with meatballs, Italian mix sandwich, pizza and ummm…yeah that’s about it.

  3. Anna Molly says:

    How am I doing? I’m grrrreat 😉

  4. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Anna: How are you doing? Italian sounds wonderful.

    Taz: You are a trouble maker lol

  5. Taz says:

    Hmmm – can’t comment on the new blog yet – just running through – had enough time to get caught up and say hello :)

    SDN – stop being so humble 😉 and Cleo – don’t listen to a word he says – if a blog SB says it – trust it 😉

    Hopefully see everyone when I get home!

  6. 2Chic says:

    Sorry NYC SB..

    Yes I refer to the SD as Candy-Man… I call my father “Daddy”. It grosses me out to call a man I may be romantic with … eww.

  7. Anna Molly says:

    Where did everybody go? Is it dinner time already? I’m alone tonight so I think I’ll order in. What should I oder? Italian or Italian?

  8. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    cleo: Let us go with you humble me…I am amazed at the class and charm of the women I have met on this site. The kindness you have shown me, each other and the SDs is amazing. This blog is more then a blog…it has become a community and I appreciate being part of it.

    OK done being sappy. Sorry.

  9. CA DreaminSB says:

    Hello everyone – I’m new to the site – just wanted to say hello and introduce myself!

  10. cleo says:

    SDN: oh please, flattery is when it isn’t true.
    2Chic: it’s okay i was just warming up, workout starts now :)

  11. 2Chic says:

    SDN….now aren’t you full of sweet words….hmmm mmmn. Thanks… you make me smile..

    I will go and do some dancing now… wait up Cleo… need to work off this popcornopolis….lol.

  12. cleo says:

    SDN: *dies laughing* you’re just saying that because of my italian passport

    okay i gotta go work off the chocolate

  13. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    2Chic & TXSB: I know you two are being way to humble (no I haven’t seen a picture but how could these two not be lovely ladies?)

    cleo: You flatter me and Taz exaggerates. You are one of those exotic international SBs. I am a humble midwest farm boy :(

  14. TXSB says:

    Hi Stephan, Anna, and anyone else who just joined… :)

    I’m off to eat something…starving…..See ya’ll later. :)

  15. 2Chic says:

    I have just discovered Popcornopolis and I am addicted. I really shouldn’t be eating it…but this is the best stuff …. it is better than… well a close second….lol.

  16. cleo says:

    my first photo is two years old and my second one is from september. i wish i had a better head shot because i think i’ve gotten prettier… but this one at least is pretty and looks like me.

    need new pics…

  17. stephan says:

    Hi back TXSB!

  18. Anna Molly says:

    Hi there everyone :)
    You go away for a little and it’s like reading a book around here…lol.

  19. TXSB says:

    Hi! LOL…yes…I agree that something is wrong w/ the cameras…. :)

  20. 2Chic says:

    SD NEOhio (SDN

    I do not consider myself very photogenic, hate taking pictures to, but I do make an effort to reveal it is current. I have always been told my pictures do not do me justice. And gosh…. I am all smiles when people say that. I am waiting for a photo to be emailed to me as I write to you. Received an email requesting me to give him a call…. I sent him an email requesting him to give me a for a recent photo…..hey .. I have learned….lol

  21. cleo says:

    SDN: you said well over, now i want to know how tall you actually are.

    figures you’re tall… um you’re (apparently according to taz) cute, tall, well spoken, not too far, well off and not chasing me. figures.

    was being silly… and kinda obtuse :)

  22. TXSB says:





    Its hard to say b/c I wasn’t “searching” for very long. I did receive quite a few messages but while I was “searching”, I was aggressive in my pursuit as in if I saw a profile that I liked, I wrote to the SD immediately. And if someone wrote to me, I would respond to them in less than 24 hours. I also wasn’t interested in talking to someone for weeks before meeting them IRL. I had all my “1st dates” within a week….lol…in 1 case, I met the pot SD literally the next day (obviously he was local).

    But yes, the “thick skin” is the most important thing in pursuing SDs (or even men IRL). Don’t take rejection personally….just move on to the next potential (after all, we expect men to do this all the time). :)

  23. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    cleo: 6 foot? Yeap. figures? sorry I am lost…but I have been told I am a little slow sometimes.

  24. cleo says:

    TXSB: how funny is it that it’s snowing in texas and sunny in toronto?
    SDN: really? and you’re tall?


  25. NYC SB says:

    2 chic – i am not getting the candy man comment… im a bit slow… is that your way of referring to SDs

  26. cleo says:

    NYGent: that was me talking about italy… least i think that’s what you’re answering. I went to Naples and the Amalfi coast for the first time (well not really the amalfi, but capri and sorrento) this summer and it was so amazing. i couldn’t believe how much better the pizza is when the tomatoes grow on the side of a volcano!

    you’re right, tuscany is a lot like napa and sonoma but so much more ancient and overgrown… :) the little roadside restaurants that are surrounded by trucks and have the best food ever… i love the random marble mines in the distances too…

    regarding height, i’m not sure how to handle it. i don’t care down to about 5’8 but i find that men who are more than an inch shorter than i am in bare feet get very weird about it. i love heels but don’t care much and will happily wear flats 99% of the time but somehow they seem to care. so i don’t bother really with the men who are under 5’11 because mostly they’re not into me.

    do you think in my case, given my height (5’11) and carriage (actually stand my full height) i should go after men who are shorter?

  27. NapaSB says:

    alright, I am off to try to be productive…pot SD date next tuesday :) color me excited

  28. Vanessa says:

    TXSB, thanks for the advice. I guess this will be the time to find out how thick my skin is haha. Did you have to initiate most of the time with SDs?

  29. 2Chic says:

    I am taking all this in, NYC SB… that is cool thinking.

    To my Candy-Men on this scene… thanks for looking out for your girl….

  30. NC Gent says:

    Good point SWM-TXSD — potential SBs have traveled with me on business so there are typically good breaks from each other. All each other, all the time could definitely lead to tension and ruin the experience.

  31. Vanessa says:

    Thanks for the advice NC Gent!

  32. TXSB says:

    LOL! :) I don’t know if you’ve seen the entire clip on “Kitten Mittens” from that TV show. But I have seriously considered buying infant socks or something like that and putting those on my cats as “kitten mittens”. :)


    Hi! The issue of whether or not you should write to a SD is a personal opinion. I always wrote to a SD if I liked his profile. IMO if you want something, you should go after it instead of waiting for it to come to you (I try to follow this rule in everything). I wrote to my SD and now we’re together….my SD told me that he wasn’t even really looking for SBs when I contacted him. So looking back, if I had not written to him….then I may still be “searching”.

    I would usually send a short e-mail saying “Hi, I enjoyed reading your profile and I think we may be looking for the same thing”. Then I would make a specific comment or ask a very specific question relating to something that was written in the profile….in order to let them know that I really did read their profile. I would end the message with “Please take a look at my profile and let me know if you’re interested”.

    IF you do write to SDs, please keep in mind that many men won’t write back if they’re not interested. So in order to “pursue” them, you need to have a thick skin and not take rejection personally.

  33. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Hey everyone

    2Chic: I always play it safe and no way would I recommend you go. If you do make sure that all of your costs are covered and you don’t get stuck footing the bill.

    Height: I am well over 6′. I have had GFs that are 6 foot and it is never a problem.

    My pictures are about 12 months old…I am with Anna and TXSB, I hate having my picture taken…something wrong with those damn cameras. I am sure I look better then the camera claims!

  34. NYC SB says:

    2 chic – oh but you can go… except here is what i suggest… find out what it would cost to fly there and back, cost of hotel where he is staying, and add in about $150 per day for food… now ask him to pay pal you this so YOU can book your own arrangements… then go and have fun… he turns out to be a dud… guess what… you are not in a bind as YOU booked everything AND have spending money… something to think about

  35. SWM_TXSD 156755 says:

    one other thing on the vegas trip. If he is going to a convention there and is not much of a gamble then he has a lot of time for you. But if he is like me then watch out. I gamble from 8 to 12 and 2 to 6 or 7 everyday. I once took a girlfriend with me and did not tell her that and we fought the whole time.

  36. NC Gent says:

    Vanessa – welcome to the blog, and go for it. Point out something in his profile that you like and ask him a question — that will increase your chances of getting a response. Also, there will be some rejection, but don’t take it personally, we ALL get rejected in the sugar world.

  37. 2Chic says:

    OK… I am not going…was entertaining it, know it was a rash move. That why I love you guys sooooo much. I am one of those females who will do something crazy every once in a while and then say “Uggh!” People close to me love me because there is never a dull moment when I am around…. go figure?

  38. NC Gent says:

    2Chic — how long have you been talking to him? For those I have met in a different city, I had been talking to them for a minimum of 6 weeks. Also, you can ask for a full-fare return trip so that you can come back early if you don’t get along. I don’t have horror stories yet, but take as many precautions as possible.

  39. NapaSB says:

    on the height topic, i used to be veryy concerned and specific about a man’s height, but about 2 years ago i dated a man who was about 5’6 and i love to wear heels so I was always towering over him…and i realized that it doesnt bother me…i actually liked it a bit. having said that i still very much like to be next to a taller man, but height is no longer a make or break for me (assuming it doesnt get ridiculous)

  40. Vanessa says:

    2Chic your story was funny! I take that as a definite learning experience. Thanks to everyone who responded to my first comment, I feel welcomed. I’m usually feel awkward with online forums.

    I have a question: What is the etiquette for sending a message to a SD? As an SB, am I supposed to wait for someone to message me? I don’t know if that would be too forward.

  41. TXSB says:



    Personally I would not. For a 1st meeting, IMO the 2 people need to focus on each other and not get distracted by surroundings….and although I’ve never been to Vegas, I doubt you two will have much chance to “really talk” with all the excitement there. Plus what if there’s no “chemistry”? Then you’re kinda stuck there with someone you don’t want to be with. I don’t see why Vegas can’t wait for a 2nd or 3rd “meeting” if things go well.

    To echo NC Gent’s words….”Be safe and trust your instincts”. Oh and IF you do go, PLEASE always keep an eye on your drink! Too many bad stories out there. IMO when people go to places like Vegas, they get so caught up on the excitement and it’s very easy to let your guard down.

  42. NapaSB says:

    TXSB – haha I would never judge someone doing weird things to amuse themselves…i have a doberman and i bought him little booties to wear when we went hiking and his reaction to them was so priceless and entertaining i have been guilty of putting them on him just for amusement

  43. 2Chic says:

    thanks …looking at it like that makes it a bit scary.

  44. 2Chic says:

    SWM_TXSD Well put

  45. NYGent says:

    On height, I am 5’8 which is right on the cusp of what a lot of SBs would consider to be the deal-breaker line. My last IRL GF was an inch taller and it wasn’t an issue for either of us, and I don’t mind if an SB/GF who’s a little shorter than me is a little taller with heels, if she doesn’t mind. A little tip to SBs who are discouraged by the alleged 10:1 SD/SB ratio (which I never bought to begin with, but let’s say it’s 5:1), if you set your sights a little “lower” (in the literal sense) you will see a very large % of the compeitition drop away instantly because a much higher % of your sisterhood than you would guess have very specific minimum height requirements.

  46. NC Gent says:

    2 Chic — if you feel comfortable with him, I would go for it. I have had several first time meets out-of-town for both of us. I provide a full name and company website before hand. I also usually get to know someone for quite a while before meeting like this. Be safe and trust your instincts.

  47. SWM_TXSD 156755 says:

    2chic I would not. And seems dumb on his part. There are to many things that can go wrong. From a guys point of view I do not want to meet someone for the first time and find out I dont like her and be stuck with her for a few days having to take care of her. And the flip side is if he turns out to be a jerk he can really screw you over with you having to take care of your own meals and expenses.

  48. NC Gent says:

    NY Gent – Yes, we won’t eat the brownies in the restaurant :)

    I did have another time were the pot SB sent fake pics but she look WAY better than the pics she had sent. I asked her about it, and she claimed she was afraid of being recognized. I didn’t mind it too much, but it wasn’t too cool that she sent someone else’s pics.

  49. NYC SB says:

    NY Gent – of course these are take home… would be kind of rude to bring your own food to a restaurant… well Mr Hefner does this

  50. 2Chic says:


    I have been asked by a POT to join him in Vegas, now this would be our first meeting. I informed him that I would have to feel extremely secure in knowing I would be safe, requiring separate rooms, advance travel, and a plan B if no connections. Now if he agrees to fulfill all these request…. should I go?
    Oh I want to go to Vegas… but this is a little riske’, daring, but oh the adrenaline rush I get. Never said I was not a spontaneous kitten. Ok… my sound advisers give it to me:

  51. 2Chic says:

    Wow… hello every one…

  52. stephan says:

    photogirl: Happy Birthday!! :)

  53. TXSB says:



    lol…weird. It’s just frigging weird to look out the window and see snow! It’s been snowing for the last 2.5 hours. I took 1 of my cats outside and he totally freaked out. (yes, I do weird stuff to amuse myself!). :)

  54. NYGent says:

    NYC SB: laced with MJ? (jk). No, just choclaty. We should not deprive our nice restaurant though of the $$ we would spend on dessert there, so I’m assuming these are for take-home . . .

  55. NapaSB says:

    TexaSD – :( I really wish I could see the snow…sigh i suppose at this point i should just be happy that i am going to make it back from UAE in time for the tail end of the season in Tahoe

  56. TexaSD says:

    Napa- Just busy lol, its starting to snow here too lol

  57. NapaSB says:

    Hi TXSB! how is the snow?

    TexaSD – I am good, how are you?

    NYGent – Hi! How are you doing today? I have never been to Italy :( so I do not know if they are similar, but I can imagine that they would be. Olives and Grapes in beautiful rows as far as the eye can see…hmm I would love to go to the Amalfi Coast, I have heard so many phenomenal things about it. is my jealousy showing?

  58. SWM_TXSD 156755 says:

    txsb you have mail

  59. NYC SB says:

    NY Gent – any special request for the brownies?

  60. NYC SB says:

    cakepatty – yes this is the doctor… im sure the inital email was a canned one… however subsequent ones were very personalized… the height however is a dealbreaker for me

  61. NYGent says:

    Napa: I was just in Rome for first time this summer but that’s somewhere I would go again in a heartbeat. And I loved the Amalfi Coast. Have also been to Venice but not Piza or Florence. I hear Tuscany is reminiscent of Napa/Sonoma (or some might say the other way around)

  62. TexaSD says:

    NYgent- or daydreaming period lol…

    Napa- Hi how are you?

    TXSB- HI,

    Photo- happy bday

  63. TXSB says:

    Hi NYGent, NapaSB and anyone else who just joined. :)

  64. NYGent says:

    another one: “better in person than in private” doesn’t really make sense. “better in person than in their photo” is what I meant.

    A little off today. maybe I am daydreaming about the 8th too much . . .

  65. NapaSB says:

    hello everyone!

  66. TXSB says:

    Did anyone else see the SD profile where there’s a pic of Prince William? I saw it last night and just couldn’t believe it.

  67. NYGent says:

    sorry, should read camera “does not always capture . . . “

  68. TXSB says:

    Speaking of pics….I don’t think there’s anything wrong with old pics as long as the person looks the same. When I sent pics to pot SDs…I would send 2 pics. 1 face pic which was taken like 2-3 months before I joined the site. The 2nd pic was a pic taken at a wedding 2 years ago back in 2007. Yet not one single pot SD ever made any comments….I did “confess” to 2 of the pot SDs that the 2nd pic was 2 years old and they were shocked b/c I look exactly the same.


    I also hate having my pics taken. That’s why I had to resort to a 2 year old pic! :(

  69. NYGent says:

    NC Gent: I too have found that oftentimes SBs are even better looking in person than private. The camera, unless it’s a professional photo, often adds years and pounds to people and does always capture one’s spirit.

    in about the same # of meetings you’ve had, I did have one SB show up who was an entirely different person from the one in her SA profile photo. She was still attractive, but not quite as much and at least 10 years older than photo. She sneakily posted a photo of someone (a model I assume) who had the same height, build and hair color as her, but it definitely wasn’t her. I did not call her on it as I don’t like confrontation, but politely went through the date and basically ignored her after that.

  70. TXSB says:

    NC Gent:
    Thanks! Well, I don’t mind being asked “When was your picture taken?” and don’t think a pot SD would’ve minded if I asked him that. But in my personal opinion, asking for “proof” (ie. pics with special poses or props) is no different than saying “I think you’re being dishonest about your looks”. Just not my style. Later NC Gent!


    You have mail.

  71. Anna Molly says:

    I hate having my picture taken, hate it!

  72. cleo says:

    NCGent I too have been told my photos don’t do me justice. am considering saying that in my profile!

  73. Taz says:

    Hi BG, Flo, AM :)

    NCGent – do you have pics on your profile? Or do you send after contact has been established? Either way, for SD’s a lack of photo is not a deal breaker 😛 I figure from my end it is a courtesy to do so since it would be a lot of trouble for us to even meet for dinner b/c of distance – I need to provide all the reassurance I can lol…I am a hassle – but well worth it of course :)

  74. NC Gent says:

    Ok — gotta run! 2Chic – I would not be offended if someone asked if my pics were recent :)

  75. NC Gent says:

    Hi Taz — I wouldn’t mind if a pot-SB offered to prove her pics were recent via webcam — I don’t have one myself though – so wouldn’t be able to reciprocate – so that might be awkward and unfair.

    Having said that, I have met about 15 pot-SBs over 2 years, and only one time were the provided pictures unrepresentative. In most cases, the SB actually looks better that in their photos. I am not photogenic either :)

  76. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Flo :)

    Frau is used as a general greeting for an adult woman. It is like saying bitte, it can mean please or you’re welcome. Frau could mean woman, mrs. or ms. I could have written this in German, but I’m feeling lackadaisical today.

  77. SWM_TXSD 156755 says:

    I know of a place for you and realistic

  78. 2Chic says:

    As for me, I did give the benefit of the doubt that the photos are recent. But now….I concur I will ask if the photos current. That was a waste of time. If someone gets offended with such a question, then that tells me we are not compatible anyways. I do not mind answering such question, and I can understand why it would be asked…. especially if they have experienced what I did.

  79. NC Gent says:

    Exactly TXSB — and a belated happy birthday. I have had the special pose/newspaper request three times. One pot SB insisted that I looked way too young in my pictures vs my profile age…. ** shrugs **

  80. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    NC~ Lol…. I was thinking more like, tied to a chair, gagged, you know..lol sorry was too funny…. but if your gonna send one, sans middle finger is good!
    Thank you for making me laugh today, really needed it!

    Have a great day, i have to get to work

  81. Taz says:

    Photo – that is insane. I am so sorry to hear that – your family is very lucky to have you and I hope you are appreciated. As far as birthdays – I don’t like mine at all – beginning of Jan and always soooo cold – I would prefer to celebrate it six months later 😛 Have fun tomorrow night for sure!!

    2Chic – freaking hilarious!! I think you handled it better than I could have lol

    NCGent – I think I have to agree with you on this. However – being that I am not IN any major cities and would most likely have to travel to a SD I have turned on my cam (PG rated of course) to show I am who I say I am. Anyone else do this? Are you opposed to it? Seeing of course that there was some distance…

  82. 2Chic says:

    Happy B-day PhotoG Hope its the best!

    NC G: Thanks.. after all I am a lady and will try to handle each situation crazy as it may be with class, grace and style.
    …. but it was funny as heck!

  83. TXSB says:

    NC Gent:
    I agree. I never asked any pot SD’s for any type of “proof” regarding their picutres. I figured even *IF* they’re not sending me recent pics….I’ll obviously see them when I meet them. And no matter what the pics look like….if I don’t find them attractive IRL, then there won’t be anything further.

    On the flip side, I never had any pot SDs ask me for anything to “prove” that my pics were real. BUT if a pot SD had asked me for something specific, I would’ve felt a little insulted b/c that would mean he’s indirectly implying that I’m dishonest….and that’s not a good way to begin ANY relationship.

  84. NC Gent says:

    OK Beachgirl — I will take one just for you. The first time I got that request, I thought of taking a picture of myself with a recent newspaper but for added special effect — flipping the bird — but I decided not such a good idea lol You want your’s sans middle finger BG?

  85. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Lol NCGent~ aww and I was gonna ask you to sent a photo with today’s paper lol…. that is too funny

    Have a good day all

  86. NC Gent says:

    2Chic — that is unfortunately hilarious. I think you were very gracious about it. He probably won’t wash the spot on his face where you kissed him for weeks!

    Regarding requests for pictures with “special” poses or with a newspaper (to prove my pictures are recent), I find those to be very insulting and consider that pot-SB to be history. I never ask for pictures with a newspaper and I expect the same respect of my integrity. Just my opinion of course though.

  87. Flo Rida says:

    cleo – any unique pose would work – who would pose with one foot off the ground and one arm in the air. Acts like a password. Equally a unique face photo works.

  88. TXSB says:

    Flo Rida:
    Thanks! Yes…SD and I need low key places….doesn’t have to be anything fancy. I really was surprised last night….I’ve had better service at the Cheesecake Factory! Oh well….


    Wow…lol. I defiantely would feel the “ewwwwwww” while reading your story!


    Hey! Did you write back to the NY pot SD after his “interesting” response yesterday?

  89. cakepatty says:

    NYCSB- is that the doctor?

    I heard from him as well. We probably got the same e-mail. I recall that he wrote to a friend of mine and there was something that turned her off. I’ll see if she saved his e-mail

  90. photogirl says:

    Thank you again everyone!!

    Taz – Unfortunately no plans for this evening. I am playing nurse today…
    I just don’t get how hospice can just stop with care because someone has 1 day of appearing to be coherent.

    Will be going to dinner with a friend tomorrow night though. :)

  91. NYC SB says:

    blah… i want to take a lil siesta… dont think work will appreciate that

  92. Rachel 386002 says:

    Sitting here at work sipping on an espresso and it occurred to me that today is photo’s B-day…. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

  93. cleo says:

    Flo Rida: why one foot off the ground and an arm in the air?

  94. Flo Rida says:

    2chic – sorry but a face photo next to today’s NYTimes and a full body shot with one foot off the ground and one arm in the air would have saved you 2 hrs of your life.

    Anna Molly – Ich denkst VC bist eine Fraulein, nicht eine Frau.

    Photogirl – Happy bday!!!!!!

    SWM – from memory Beaumont is not as wealthy as Houston or Dallas and so you should have lots of takers.

    TX-SB – generally service in Houston is poor (compared to NY). I thought Noe (Omni) and the Four Season’s restaurant had good service and good food, poor ambience though (but that was 18 months ago). The poor ambience might attract you if you are low profile.

  95. 2Chic says:

    But it was funny…. I am not crushed, I was a little flattered that he was so smitten, but I was just “yucked” out.

  96. AznCanadian Rose says:

    2chic- yikes!

    But that’s seriously lawls

    Thank you very much for sharing with us! Maybe the next guy… 😉

  97. 2Chic says:

    Oh…girl it was hilarious … I am still laughing and gagging. I am not let down in the least. I have learn to roll with the punches, learn from it and move on.

  98. Anna Molly says:

    2C ~ I’m sorry, but that was too funny….ROFLMAO. Although, it’s too bad it didn’t work out.

  99. 2Chic says:

    I must tell you guys about what recently happened with a POT meeting. First let me say… even though I have met what seems to be a great guy, nothing is concrete and until he lets me know what is up….. I am sorry … I will not sit and twiddle my thumbs.

    So check this: I agreed to meet a gentleman who had been emailing me for a while. His pics was cute, and I had placed him midway on my scale. We met at a restaurant, I went in and according to the pics, I thought he was the fella sitting at the bar, so I text him, letting him know I was standing behind him. He text back that he did not see me. ….okaay…so now I am like where are you? He text saying he is coming out to meet me…. so I am standing with my “diva” stance (smile) and here comes one of the workers from Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory….you know the original movie where the little short people were not quiet midgets, but….an in between version. On top of that he was a lot older than his pics suggested. He was a little pudgey and waay too eccentric for my taste. Nothing against little people, I just am not attracted romantically. He puts his hands on his hips and smiles with this mischief in his eyes….I am saying to myself…how in the heck am I going to get out of this. So I go fake smile….walk up and greet him. We sit and he is full of stories, and great tips, info for my line of work. Then after great conversation, he wants to go to my room…. I almost gagged in my mouth….I told him “no” I could not take him to my room, he was so insistent, then I was a little more stern and said “I am not taking you to my room”.. He got that message. Then he wants a kiss….I was screaming “ewwwwww” “ewwwww” and more “ewwww”. He started licking his lips, I was like I am not kissing you, it was nice meeting you, but I just can’t go there. He was a little crushed, but he had a great sense of humor. I gave him a hug, kissed him on his little cheek, said it was nice meeting you and take care. I turned around and walked to a good bottle of wine. Took my behind to my room…. consumed two glasses… and fell asleep saying “ewwwwww-ewwww-ewwww!” Now that is one for the history books….lesson in all of this…ask for “up-to-date pics” always.

  100. SWM_TXSD 156755 says:

    ok will do…..take care everyone

  101. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Hey TXSB!

  102. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    SWM_TXSD~ oh fix this too, “Nice all around guy. Like to go to…”

  103. TXSB says:

    LOL…..just like Cleo, you also make me feel like a midget! :)



  104. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    SWM TXSD~ Like the profile too…

    Hi everyone, lunch time for me!

    Too much to catch up on,

    VC~ Hi sister!

  105. SWM_TXSD 156755 says:

    well I have to get motivated. Have to go buy paint for the beach house so I can paint tommrrow

  106. TXSB says:

    Hi! :) Interesting you made the comment about loving a “challenge”.


    I 2nd Taz. Considering we have quite a few SBs here on the blog searching….and also with the lurkers…..your search may have gotten a bit easier. :)


    On a total side note, I just remembered another part of my convo. w/ SD last night. He made a comment saying how men attract more women when they’re married…I responded that it’s the idea of the “forbidden fruit”. SD said that a friend told him “married” means that the guy has been officially “approved” by another woman! :)

  107. Taz says:

    Photo – not sure if you have mentioned – any special plans for tonight? :)

  108. Taz says:

    NCGent – EXACTLY – rounding down is baaad lol!

    SWMSD – I figured as much lol…I like your profile and the other SB’s were already helpful I see :) I am sure your search just became a bit easier perhaps?? A lot of lurkers out there 😉

  109. 2Chic says:

    As for the height ? I can deal with a man shorter than me when I am in my heels, but when I kick them off… he at least has to be eye to eye with me. I am 5’8 and in my heels I grow to 6′-6′.1. So my love for heelz will not diminish, my preference is at least 6′. But sometimes there are exceptions.

  110. 2Chic says:

    Good Morning to you …Suga Fam!

  111. 2Chic says:

    Are you married or currently seeing someone outside of the Sugarbowl? Did you join SA before or after you met them? Do they know?

    uhhh… well I am actually seeing someone outside the SB, and he is married. We have been friends for a while now. I would not call it a relationship, but we really care about each other and knows what is all about. He is a very dear friend, I share a lot with him. I value his friendship, advice, and company. As of now, .. I have met a few POT, one of them, very nice gentleman… could not afford what I desired. The next meet,… was just for the fun of it, and the latest….. waiting to see what is next. Would I tell them about my friend, sure would….I am sure they are seeing other females as well… and hope that he would inform me. When I am sure a CandyMan wants me exclusively, then I have no problems being his exclusively. But until then…. it is what it is.

    Do you prefer not to know if your potential sugar is in a relationship/married? Why or why not?
    Yes I would like to know if we are seeing each other. Need to always know what I am going into…. no blind sides.

    Do you think feeling ‘cheated on’ is less of a risk for you in Sugarland? Why or why not?

    Well that all depends how my feelings are running for the fella. If it is brand new, and he is seeing another then I know not to get my heart caught up… but knowing me I love a challenge. I would want to know what she has that is pulling him. If he just wants to spend time with me, and get the goodies from her yet pamper me in the process. Well c’mon…. I am not crazy…lol.

  112. SWM_TXSD 156755 says:

    ok a whole lot of mail going out.

  113. TXSB says:

    Hi Azn, Taz, Photo and anyone else who just joined us! :)

    You soooo right on some activities being easier if the people are closer in height….and other activities being easier if it’s the opposite. :)

  114. VillaCypris *396153* says:


    well, on that note, i’m off to “lunch”… who eats lunch at 1130a… i don’t know… it’ll be my breakfast 😉

    ciao all
    be back later

  115. AznCanadian Rose says:

    Hi everybody!

    I like tall guys but I actually don’t mind men shorter than me.
    Too tall is hard for me to kiss them! >_>;;

  116. NC Gent says:

    Hi Taz — I round up a half an inch and only one person has ever complained — I am certainly not rounding down.

    VC – you are right – it is personal preferences — I used to prefer shorter women because it made me feel more masculine to tower over my gf. I guess I am more self confident now and also have a much greater appreciation for a nice pair of long legs lol

  117. Taz says:

    NCGent- On my profile I believe I state 5’5″ – so I up it half an inch lol

  118. Taz says:

    Right there with you photo – and TXSB I do agree – I am 5’4.5″ and yes, I have to mention every little bit 😛

  119. photogirl says:

    SWM_TXSD – You have SA mail.

    I’m 5’4 so I’ve never really had the problem of being taller than anyone…

    Cleo – Very true 😉

  120. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    lol… you all are funny…. i’ve been with someone who was 6’3″… we fit very well together…. some men that heighth like smaller women, and some do not… it’s all a matter ofpersonal preference.

  121. cleo says:

    Villa: actually the height difference makes a difference in other ways… some things really are easier if you are similar heights…

    that said some things are easier if you’re a foot and a half apart…

  122. SWM_TXSD 156755 says:

    I so want to make a little jonnie comment about what villi wrote but i wont

  123. cleo says:

    NC Gent: i don’t care if a man is shorter than i am… but they sure do!

  124. NC Gent says:

    I think most men like to be taller than their SB, but I guess as long as the heights are close and not too big of a difference it really wouldn’t matter. When I was younger, I always went for women about 5/4 and under, but in retrospect, I think that was silly!

  125. TXSB says:

    Regarding height….I want the man (whether BF or SD) to be taller than me. But since I’m only 5′ and 3/4 of an inch (yes I like to be specific…I’m short and need that 3/4!), even in 4′ or 4.5 inch heels….I’m still shorter than most men. :) But as a personal preference….I’m not attracted to men below 5’8″.

  126. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    TXSB – wow. that’s surprising…. too bad!

    NC – as i’m 5’2, i am always more petite than anyone i’ve ever dated….
    there is someone with whom i’m communicating who is 6’4″. he is “concerned about the height difference”…. i said, well i AM 5’7” in my stilettos! 😉 HA!

  127. Anna Molly says:

    I don’t mind if I’m a little taller than my SD, but I wouldn’t wat to be 6″ taller or anything like that. I’ve often wondered about how the SD’s feel about that myself. With heels on I’m 5’11” and I would think some SD’s would feel a little awkward.

  128. NYC SB says:

    NC – I somewhat do… I am 5’6” sans heels… so I need him to be at least 5’8” otherwise (as is the case with Chi guy) I will totally tower over him (I reach almost 6′ in heels

  129. NC Gent says:

    Do SBs care if they are taller than their SD? I am 5/10 1/2″ but I round up to 6/2 lol just curious – I don’t find many SBs taller than me on the site, but I don’t really care if my SB is taller than me.

  130. TXSB says:

    Yep…St. Regis hotel. Although I must say I was dissappointed. They were totally dead….yet we got bad service! I wouldn’t recommend the place (the restaurant at least) to anyone ever.


    Hi! There are quite a few grammar “issues”, and also personally, I would love to see the 1st paragraph broken down into 2 paragraphs for “easier” reading. But other than that….I like the rest. :)

  131. SWM_TXSD 156755 says:

    thanks villa

  132. SWM_TXSD 156755 says:

    cleo – if I did not screw this up you have mail comming

  133. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    cleo – thanks for thinking about it tho!

    nycsb— you would tower over him in your CLs….

  134. cleo says:

    Villa I actually can’t think of anyone there off the top of my head.
    TXSD: she caught a bunch of it. can i rewrite it into fewer sentences?

  135. NYC SB says:

    VC beat me to the punch hahaha

    also… a certain someone from the featured profiles (chicago guy) has peaked my attention (he initiated contact) … didnt realize until now he is 5’5”

  136. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    yeah…. lol… no problem… that’s why it’s there! 😉

  137. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    cleo – twin cities…. minneapolis and st paul…

    some grammatical errors-
    -prefer not perfer
    -suits not suites
    -ma’am not mam

    otherwise, good profile!

  138. cleo says:

    oh duh, i can look at your profile villa


  139. Anna Molly says:

    Guten Morgen Frau VC :)

  140. cleo says:

    Villa: it’s amazing stuff. i forget what city you are in, remind me and i’ll let you know if i know anyone good there.
    SWM-TXSD i’ll take a look…

  141. Anna Molly says:

    I have to say sorry for the Chelsea typo…I copied it from NC and didn’t catch it…lol

  142. TXSB says:

    The SB asked you to lower her allowance? The SB offered a test drive? Wow…..I believe you’re a hero for many other SDs! 😉 BTW, did you officially break up with your former SB? You had mentioned the need for a public venue last night….. Good luck with the pot SB!

  143. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    guten morgen anna molly :)

  144. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    TXSB – you’re most welcome! Sorry I missed you yesterday… the st. regis – the hotel? I was at the one in Rome, splendido! 😉

    Hi SWM TXSD – haven’t seen you before… welcome!

  145. Anna Molly says:

    NC ~ I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, Chelsey Lately. She is so funny! It is my favorite late night show. My favorite thing is when she shows pictures of her fat baby nephew….oh sooo cute :)

    Good mornignt to you too btw :)

  146. SWM_TXSD 156755 says:

    have a favor to ask. if anybody has time would you mind looking at my profile and see if it looks ok.

  147. TXSB says:

    Good Morning Everyone! :)

    It’s SNOWING here in Texas! I’m amazed….lol…..


    Thanks!!! :)

  148. NC Gent says:

    We had our first frost Wednesday morning — warm fall!

  149. SWM_TXSD says:

    good moring all.
    happy birthday photo

  150. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    cleo – i would love to attend one of your pilates classes… i’ve never tried that, but think it would be amazing!

  151. NYGent says:

    happy birthday photogirl, have a great one!

  152. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    photo – it’s alright, i knew you were enthusiastic! darn, i was going to say send me some FLA sunshine to cut thru the snow flurries!!!

  153. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Hi NC – so much for it feeling like a Charlotte NC winter….

    NYCSB – wow. 😀 I can certainly see why that many have have favourited you tho!

  154. photogirl says:

    Sorry VC, that was meant to be a more enthusiastic Thank You!

    Believe it or not it is pretty chilly here in FL

  155. photogirl says:

    VC – Thanks

    NYCSB – Whoa… I thought with 53 I was tempted to go premium… I think that curiousity would get the best of me with that amount.

  156. NC Gent says:

    Hey VC — good to see you!

    NYC SB — I figured that was likely what was happening :)

  157. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Hi all my sugar friends –

    a CHILLY good morning from the TUNDRA… where it is 17 degrees with a windchill of 6 degrees!!!!!


    photo – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

  158. cleo says:

    NYC SB: oh i wasn’t suggesting you were sending said messages, was thinking more of some i’ve been sending out…

    i have been viewed 200 times, favorited 9 times and emailed four times. i need to improve these odds with better pics.

  159. NYC SB says:

    ::Faints:: I have been favorited by 759 members… now I HAVE to upgrade… thats NUTS I dont think 759 members have emailed me lol

    I agree on unintentional messages… however… both flo and nc my yahoo is angry at you and has decided to place your messages in spam… sorry about that

  160. cleo says:

    re “that kind of message”

    we send those messages unintentionally all the time… just by not answering the phone as often or taking a little longer to answer email…

  161. NYC SB says:

    Cleo – thanks 😀

    NC gent – you got it!

    now NY Gent – are you a cookie monster as well? if so any requests?

  162. photogirl says:

    Irish, SDN, Cleo, Taz, Anna, Sincere, NYCSB, NC Gent – Thank you very much!

    Vanessa – Welcome!

    Sincere – Finally 😉 Best wishes with the new one…test drive or not(preferably not).

    NYCSB – mmmm peanut butter brownies?? yummm

    Now I am off to take care of a sick family member for a few hours.

  163. cleo says:

    NC Gent: well now we don’t have to fight, i would have picked either of the other two flavours *g*

    too bad i’m not coming to the meetups

  164. cleo says:

    NYC SB: if you look on the search page and click ‘who has me as a favourite’ you get that info.

    ie 9 members have favourited me but i have no idea who they are

  165. NC Gent says:

    I knew you didn’t send me that type of message — white chocolate brownies sound splendid! Thanks for correcting my spelling on Chelsea — I think she is hilarious too!

    You also have to be premium to find out how many have added you as a favorite, unless it is different for SBs, but I doubt it.

  166. NYC SB says:

    Ha – I will check my spam account… I was not trying to send you a message of that sort NC … and to prove it I will bring brownies to dinner… now the question is what kind do you want… peanut butter… dark chocolate… white chocolate… let your wishes be known cookie monster

    Question for SBs – I know some of you say that you can see that people have favorited you… how do I access how many have favorited me? I know you cant see who they are until you have a premium membership… however I cant even find where this information appears… HELP lol

  167. Taz says:

    Welcome back NCGent – thanks for sharing – I got a good laugh :)

  168. NC Gent says:

    Hi NYC SB – I didn’t get a response to a couple of emails I sent you either, and you normally reply very promptly… was using the d_fantasy account — not sure if it is going to spam or if you are trying to send me a “message” or if you are using another account — hope to see you soon and sneak some brownies to dinner please lol jk I am a cookie monster!

  169. cleo says:

    NYC SB: i get there every couple of years, have more and more friends there… perhaps it will happen :)

  170. NYC SB says:

    NC – lol Chelsea is funny…

  171. NYC SB says:

    hahaha cleo – sounds good to me 😀

  172. NC Gent says:

    ok — back from travel, heated contract negotiations, and a few talks.

    Was watching Chelsey Lately last night– heard something funny and thought it was on-topic because of sugar cheating– they were talking about Tiger (of course) and said…. One mistress, shame on you. Two mistresses, shame on me. Three mistresses, you are just a f**king a$$hole! Made me think of the blog!

    Good morning Irish, Sincere, SDN, AM, Cleo and Taz!

    Happy Birthday Photogirl!!

  173. cleo says:

    NYC SB: now if i ever come to nyc i want to meet you… well i wanted to ANYway but now i want brownies too!

  174. cleo says:

    Sincere: interesting, what i get from your tale is something i’ve suspected for a while. with a decent SD the fight will be to keep him from spending too much rather than fighting to get “more” from him.

    or to put it another way, the allowance question will be covered by him before it occurs to me to bring it up.

    or is that wishful thinking?

    (also congrats on ending it)

  175. NYC SB says:

    SDN – I make the best brownies in the world… i will send a batch to AM when you visit her

  176. NYC SB says:

    Photo girl – HAPPY BDAY!

    TXSB – glad you had an awesome time 😀

    Flo – never got your email… hmm

    My 2 cents on emails… I think that the initial email can speak volumes… if you know how to read it right…

    For example:

    a canned email – Pot is searching, he found you attractive and wants to see where it goes… however same applies to 30 other members on the site

    short but sweet personal email – pot is selective and liked you a bit more than the average member on the site … time to reel and hook him with your reply

    long, well thought out email – you are one of his front runners… play your cards right and you just may have found yourself an SD

    *note none of these apply for your average photo collector

  177. Taz says:

    Good Morning SDN and the rest of the sugar crew :)

    Congrats Sincere – on ending it and perhaps to new beginnings as well! :)

  178. SincereSD says:

    Argh, shouldn’t be blogging on my berry while being on a conference call.

    The first sentence of my previous post should read … December 4, 2009 at 6:02 am. On a different note, I was pleasantly surprised by a pot SB last WEEK

  179. Anna Molly says:

    She sounds nice Sincere :)

  180. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    SincereSD: To much allowance? Would you like a test drive? I never get a test drive or a request to lower the allowance.

    How do you do it? You are my hero! Can we hang out so I can learn from the master?

  181. SincereSD says:

    On a different note, I was pleasantly surprised by a pot SB last year. We were on the subject of allowances and she choked at my “offer” … and responded by saying it was too much She was concerned about my family obligations and other expenses.

    I like her bc she is honest and is definitely not a someone who is with me for purely monetary reasons. I really hate this concept of value but will likely have to reduce her allowance to make her comfortable.

    She has offered a “test drive” tomorrow and I may take her up on it. At least I’m done with my current (former?) SB so I’m not descending further into moral purgatory … cheating on my SB.

  182. Anna Molly says:

    Hey Sincere, sorry to hear about your break-up :(

  183. SincereSD says:

    Good morning vampires, SB and fellow SD.

    TXSD, I’m done with with neo-NSA SB. She turned in classic-NSA but she was too self centered. Man, breaking-up is hard to do.

    PG – Happy birthday. Hope this year is filled with sugary delights for you.

    Vanessa – Welcome to the sugar family. Be sure to review the old blogs as there’s lots of good info.

    Gemini29 – I love your profile … your pictures are excellent as well <3

  184. Anna Molly says:


  185. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Morning cleo, Taz.

    All cookies are good…yummy

  186. Taz says:

    Happy birthday Photo!! :)

  187. cleo says:

    oh shoot!

    happy birthday photogirl!

    (morning irish and sdn)

  188. cleo says:

    morning folks

    usually i’m not here in the am cause i jump out of bed and start working… but client is late today.

    coffee: black… do like the fancy beans but not so much the flavoured coffees
    Anna Molly: my best baking always involves chocolate… ie chocolate chip cookies in several variations or chocolate chip banana bread or whatever :)

  189. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Only a few early birds. Do the rest party all night?

    I have to jump in the shower…ttyl

  190. Irish SB says:

    Its like deje vue in here every morning!

  191. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Hey Irish!!!

    photogirl: My apologies for not saying it right off…happy birthday!

  192. Irish SB says:

    Good Morning Ohio and AM!

    Happy Belated Birthday to TXSB! And an on time happy birthday to photogirl!

  193. Anna Molly says:

    Sugar cookies are my speciality…lol :)

  194. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Keep making promises of hot chocolate and I will be booking my ticket to NYC :)
    Through in some cookies and I will be wrapped around your finger…lol

  195. Anna Molly says:

    Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you :)

  196. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    LOL…at night hot chocolate drinker, still waiting on that hot chocolate you promised :)

  197. Anna Molly says:

    No, not necessarily :)

    When do you prefer to drink your hot chocolate?

  198. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Mine are big. I love a coffee in the morning. Not flavored, cream & sugar. I do like the custom beans.

    So hot chocolate is at night only?

  199. Anna Molly says:

    I have dogs too and you can’t survive without coffee :)

    My dogs are small though.

  200. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    AM: You aren’t alone :)
    Went to make coffee and have dogs that think my main goal in life is to play with them.

  201. Anna Molly says:

    Alone again…lol

  202. Anna Molly says:

    Yay, I’m not alone anymore :)
    Did you sleep well?

  203. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Good Morning

  204. Anna Molly says:

    photogirl ~ Isn’t today your birthday?

  205. Anna Molly says:

    OC ~ Yes, prayers are with you my dear.

    Is anyone up this time of morning? If so HI :)

  206. photogirl says:

    OC – I am sorry to hear about the accident. Positive thoughts and prayers for you both.

    Just Dee, Beach Girl & TXSB – Thank you very much!

    TXSB – Glad to hear you had a wonderful birthday dinner!

  207. TXSB says:

    I’m assuming you’re not comfy posting profile number here….in which case I’d recommend you should ask bloggers (especially the SDs) if they would give their thoughts privately… :) And thank you…

    Good Night everyone!!! :)

  208. NapaSB says:

    Flo Rida – The hotel is the Burj Al Arab and I have never stayed there but I have had the pleasure of eating there several times. It is a beautiful beautiful hotel, but there are a lot of those in Dubai….the Emiratis definitely understand luxury :) And Abu Dhabi can be just as much fun as Dubai..it just depends on what you are interested in doing (i saw the red bull air races there this spring and that is one of my fondest memories of UAE)

  209. NapaSB says:

    Vanessa – Welcome!

    TXSB – I havent had anyone look at it yet, hmm perhaps i will have the guts to ask someone tomorrow :) well it is off to bed for me. Happy Birthday again, sweet dreams…

  210. TXSB says:

    Hi and welcome! :)


    Can’t comment specifically since I’ve never seen it…….have you had anyone take a look at it?

  211. NapaSB says:

    TXSB – i really think i need to do something about my profile…sigh

  212. Vanessa says:

    Wow these are some good questions!

    Hi everyone, I’m new =) Nice to meet you all!

    Are you married or currently seeing someone outside of the Sugarbowl? Did you join SA before or after you met them? Do they know?
    No, I am not seeing anyone.

    Do you prefer not to know if your potential sugar is in a relationship/married? Why or why not?
    I would prefer to know because honesty is important to me. It wouldn’t affect my opinion because I’m not against polygamy. It also is a health concern these days unfortunately.

    Do you think feeling ‘cheated on’ is less of a risk for you in Sugarland? Why or why not?
    I think it depends upon the relationship. I think any emotionally invested relationship can leave someone feeling “cheated on”. At this point in my life I don’t think I am at much risk though.

  213. TXSB says:

    Cool! Yep…tomorrow 1-2 inches of snow here with low being 27F.

  214. NapaSB says:

    TXSB – I am back in the states for a week…so in not so sunny california right now :) although I guess it is snowing in texas this week so i shouldnt complain

  215. TXSB says:

    Yea…it makes me paranoid…like you guys are playing a trick on me! 😉 BTW, what country are you in right now? LOL….I got lost in the earlier convo….

  216. NapaSB says:

    TXSB – haha I know what you mean, every once in a while I find myself in the same position :) so it sounds like you had a really nice birthday evening, i am so glad to hear that

  217. TXSB says:

    LOL……..Hey! I feel like I’m interviewing people 1 by 1….

  218. NapaSB says:

    hi TXSB, goodnight cleo!

  219. TXSB says:

    LOL…. :) Night! :)

  220. cleo says:

    txsb: yeah i wasn’t worried about offending anyone, only about little details getting people in trouble… i can’t imagine anyone being offended by the name of a restaurant :)

    i must crash now :)

  221. TXSB says:

    Ah ok…..knowing our (SD&I) specific situation, I have no reason to believe that our privacy was any way jeopardized by me stating where we had dinner (I’m assuming this is what you were referring to). And I can’t imagine anyone being offended by this info….but in case anyone is, I sincerely apologize.

    And thank you! :)

  222. cleo says:

    TXSB: sorry, i thought i had refreshed but i was really like 50 entries behind.

    i’m not sure you even want to name restaurants on the blog…

    that said, i’m so glad you had a great birthday and felt like a princess!

  223. cleo says:

    OCSugarbaby: oh dear, do keep us posted and i will send healing thoughts his way!
    NYGent: tell you what, i’ll take you to rome and the area around pisa and you can take me everywhere else *g*
    NapaSB: “interested?”

    “that depends, do you know any more words?”

  224. TXSB says:

    Hi! I’m sorry but what’re you referring to?

  225. cleo says:

    good evening sugars.
    TXSB i am not sure you should say even that much on the blog…

  226. TXSB says:

    Bday was awesome….SD took me to dinner and then we went and got my gift. I couldn’t have asked for a better bday…..:) Night!

  227. Anna Molly says:

    Good night all! I’ll see you in the morning :)

  228. Anna Molly says:

    Thanks TXSB :)

    How was your birthday? Did you get lots of goodies?

  229. TXSB says:

    :) *high five*

  230. Anna Molly says:

    Just to let you know, I kicked butt at trivia night down at Uno’s Pizza. I won a T-Shirt….YAY ME :)

  231. Anna Molly says:

    Is anybody still around?

  232. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    TXSB~ I hear you girl…

  233. TXSB says:

    lol…yea I’m starting to get paranoid….things were flowing so well before I said “hi”!


    Whenever you see this in the morning……….

    Happy Birthday!!!

  234. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Photogirl~ Happy Birthday to you….
    Happy Birthday to you
    Happy Birthday Dear Photo girl….
    Happy Birthday to you….
    Love ya!! xoxo

  235. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Lol Happens to me all the time girl! They run away…. lol

    Glad you had a great Bday!

  236. TXSB says:

    Hey Beach_girl!
    Thanks! LOL….I feel like I scared everyone away!

  237. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    2Chic ~ Congrats Girl!!!! YAY for you!

  238. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    TXSB~ so glad you had a nice Birthday dinner!!!

  239. TXSB says:

    We were thinking of going to Tony’s but decided against it…..too risky. St. Regis was nice and almost empty…perfect for us. :)

  240. NYGent says:

    just dee: i don’t think i condoned that kind of email in any way, or said you don’t have a right to be mad about such an email, if you read my post. I’m just saying if I create a substantive profile, and send a short message which gives some indication of interest and having read the SB’s profile, and solicits a reading of my profile to see if there is reciprocal interest, I shouldn’t be expected to create a personalized poem for each SB I email, not knowing if she will even respond.

  241. TXSB says:

    No…we try to avoid most “busy” nice restaurants b/c SD is married and we need to be careful so we don’t run into anyone he knows. Tonight we went to St. Regis.

  242. SWM_TXSD says:

    good night everyone

  243. SWM_TXSD says:

    or vic and anthony’s

  244. SWM_TXSD says:

    did you go to papa brothers steak house for your birthday?

  245. TXSB says:



    Thank you! Near downtown. If you’re ever around here and would like to meet up for dinner…feel free to contact us. :)

    Niiice! And yes….I can “feel” your smile while reading your post…..I’m very happy for you! :)

  246. Taz says:

    2Chic – AWESOME!! Keep us updated sweetie!

  247. Just Dee in NC says:

    I’m gone. Photogirl, if I don’t catch you tomorrow, have a happy birthday!

    Have a great time in New York, NYGent, NC Gent, and the lucky SBs who will join them!

    TX, I’m glad you had a great time tonight.

  248. SWM_TXSD says:

    txsb what area are you and realistic in…..glad you had a good birthday.

  249. 2Chic says:

    Hi Sugas, Back from a very long out of towner. Met “Him” and OMG ….he has the “sexy” the “sweets” the “smile” and mmmmn good. That is all I am saying for now. It was Just one date. He wants to schedule again once he returns from his trip. I am just going to take it slow and see what evolves. I know you can feel my smile.

  250. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Night all…

  251. Just Dee in NC says:

    SDN and SWM: 😛

    Shame there aren’t sound effects tied to that! :-)

  252. TXSB says:

    Midwest & Taz:
    Thanks!!! :)

  253. SWM_TXSD says:

    I thought typing HEY in the subject line would be enough; go figure

  254. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Just Dee: You know how long it to me to write “Hey baby wanna f***?”.

    And you dismiss it like I am some shallow cad!!! I guess I am going to stomp off and go to bed…alone. Wait…alone…damn maybe I am doing something wrong.

  255. Flo Rida says:

    Taz – hi hockey’s over Stars won 3-1 empty netter in the third period.

    SWM – Dubai is potentially defaulting not Abu Dhabi (but it’s kinda connected) Abu Dhabi has oil and so will not default – Dubai does not.

    Napa – I hear Dubai’s more fun than Abu Dhabi – shame about the not being able to bring locals to your hotel room thing (not that I would want to) – communist countries like Cuba, Vietnam and China are similar. Have you stayed at the Burg al ahram (spelling) luxury hotel in the shape of a sail boat.

    Finally my 2 cents on the one word email is that it worked – always go with what works.
    nite all – early start tomorrow.

  256. Taz says:

    Hi TXSB! So glad you had a wonderful birthday :)

  257. TXSB says:

    Hi Everyone!!! :)

    I have a wonderful birthday dinner with the my wonderful SD! :) This was the 1st time we both actually got dressed up…he looked sooo handsome. I felt like a princess the entire evening. :)

    So below is part of our conversation tonight….We somehow started talking about 1 of SD’s employees who had gained a lot of weight over a few years….:

    Me: Sweetheart what if I became fat? You wouldn’t like me anymore?
    SD: Well….I mean I’d still like your personality….but we would have to be platonic friends. But don’t worry….I’ll find another skinny SB.
    Me: What?! Are you serious?
    SD: Well…..yeah. *insert BIG smile as he says this*
    Me: *sigh* Guess I need to keep up with my gym routine….
    SD: Yep.

    LOL….after that…..SD still made me feel like a princess! :)

    Now going to catch up on the blog / e-mails.

  258. SWM_TXSD says:

    hey big guy you just getting home

  259. Just Dee in NC says:

    Oh, so we women aren’t allowed to complain about the emails that simply say “Hey baby wanna f***?”

    Thing is, NYGent, you guys take one look at our photos and make up your mind, then you complain that you have to put time into composing an email?? If you can kick us to the curb based on a photo, we reserve the right to kick you to the curb if you send an email that makes no effort whatsoever to engage our minds.

  260. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Hey Tax, NYGent, SWM_TXSD Just Dee, Napa.

  261. SWM_TXSD says:

    hi taz

  262. Taz says:

    Hi NYGent, Flo, SDN, BG, Just Dee and SWMTXSD :)

    Did I miss anyone?

  263. NYGent says:

    Just Dee: i always try to drop in a little something, even if it’s only a word or two, to evidence that I read the profile and it’s not a mass mailing. But I think to stand on ceremony and expect a lot more than that is not realistic given the time commitment involved in searching and emailing people on the site. And I think a lot of people are standing on ceremony too much. So many people complain that they “never get emails” yet at the same time complain when the emails they do get aren’t quite up to snuff in their opinion.

  264. SWM_TXSD says:

    does anybody no a decent program that a 47 old man can use to edit songs before they go on a ipod

  265. Just Dee in NC says:

    Hi SDN.

  266. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Hey all, just got home.

  267. Just Dee in NC says:

    NYGent, none of us are expecting a novel. But we DO expect that your email shows you read our profile, thought about it, and see us as a person. You’ve surely seen the posts about the guy who mass-mails women his offer of $1000 for a “trial month.” There’s nothing in his emails that says he’s done anything other than clicked on 50 profiles, clicked “Send email,” and pasted his boilerplate.

    I put effort into the emails I send to someone who interests me and I expect a man to put some brain power into any email he sends me as well.

  268. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    NYGent~ about the initial email, I so agree… I wish more would read the profile than just look at the photos! How are you? excited about the dinner on the 8th?
    I wish I was going!

  269. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Hi everyone!

    OC~OMG sweetie, my thought and prayers are with you… sending positive thought and energy your way!! much love..

  270. NYGent says:

    napa: well now maybe you’re giving the pot TOO much credit. I doubt the one liner “interested?” was intended to be funny or unique, as opposed to simply reflecting the lack of time or inclination on the part of the sender to write a novel on “spec.” But hey, whatever works, and this appears to have done so. good luck!

  271. SWM_TXSD says:

    hey napa see if you can get some of the money they defaulted on back please

  272. NapaSB says:

    NYGent – once again I agree, if nothing else it made me laugh and sparked my curiosity…there is a lot to be said about an email that doesnt say the exact same thing as the last 5 emails you got. Anything different is going to catch the recipients eye.

  273. NapaSB says:

    alright i have got to go find something to eat, i will return shortly :)

  274. NYGent says:

    napa: yes, mimimalist profile on top of minimalist email is not ideal. but looks like it was enough to start up a convo which might lead somewhere, no? I think too often people are too rigid in their expectations about how an intial email has to wow them to the ends of the earth before they deign to respond.

  275. NapaSB says:

    Flo Rida – This will be my third trip to UAE and I love it, it is so westernized and there is a ton to do and see. I always try to be careful when I am in a foreign country, but I feel very comfortable in Abu Dhabi and Dubai. :)

  276. NapaSB says:

    NYGent – I absolutely agree with you, and honestly we have already emailed back and forth a couple of times this evening so it wasnt that big of a deal. HOWEVER the single word email with a link to a minimalistic profile left me feeling like a bit of a [email protected] about it.

  277. Flo Rida says:

    TexaSD – dinner was an ordeal – am watching Dallas – Anaheim on TV – Dad’s a hockey fan so time for some bonding. Mum is the one who gives me most grief but when they pass away (as everyone does) i’ll miss them, so trying to be a good daughter.

    Napa – completely understood – i’ve never been to middle east – I know abu dhabi is safe but please be careful. ok back to hockey

  278. NYGent says:

    Just Dee/SWM-TXSD: I guess that’s why most couples honeymoon in a place neither has ever been, right? it’s the most romantic.

    Napa: I’m going to stick up a little bit for the “brief” introductory email. Ok, “interested?” is a little terse, I’ll admit. But it depends on how fulsome the profile is. I personally have a fairly robust profile which I think would give any SB a pretty fair idea of who I am, what I like, my interests, and what kind of SB I’m looking for. I hate sending a short solicitation email to an SB and getting back a “so tell me a little bit about yourself” response. Excuse me, what do you think my profile tried to do, and did you even read it? I don’t see anything that wrong with sending a fairly brief, “your profile is interresting, caught my eye, if you like mine drop me a line” email. The whole SB/SD search is time consuming and exhausting and one cannot write long flowery spefically tailored emails to every pot who catches your eye. Yes, it is nice to say something a little personal to indicate you read the person’s profile, b ut come on, people don’t need an email novel on top of a decently written, detailed profile just to let them decide if they might have enough interest to respond to an initial overture.

  279. NapaSB says:

    TexaSD – you have mail

  280. TexaSD says:

    Napa- you can always say in an email 😉

  281. NapaSB says:

    TexaSD – Abu Dhabi and i’d rather not say on the blog

  282. TexaSD says:

    Napa- Abu Dhabi, or Dubai? Never been there, but I have some friends working there, is it your first time? What is your job, I don’t think I ever asked you

  283. Taz says:

    OC – soo sorry to hear about this misfortune – keep your chin up and keep POSITIVE (keep him positive too)!! I will pray for the best..

  284. NapaSB says:

    TexaSD – I have the next week off, I am headed to the UAE next sunday for a couple months and I need some time to get my life together for that :)

    Flo Rida – I work on the jet but thats all I am really comfortable admitting to

  285. TexaSD says:

    Napa- Its good to be home lol, are you working tomorrow or do you get time to catch up?

  286. TexaSD says:

    Flo Rida- How are you doing this evening?

  287. NapaSB says:

    TexaSD – it was just under 9 hours i think

  288. Flo Rida says:

    NYC SB and Rachel – yes – full body shot in black is slimming. Also I agree with NYC SB the pics look very different & none of the pics let me know what your figure looks like (important for men). Above applies generally except for LA where no one wears black.

    NYC SB – I sent you an email about two weeks ago did you get it?

    Realistic – you have two SD’s getting caught stories by email.

    TX SB – still with family & subjected to family dinner humiliation (again) about not being married with kids. You got off easy darling.

    Napa – are you a pilot or flight attendant? you don’t have to tell me if you are uncomfortable.

  289. Taz says:

    Hello sugar world :)

  290. TexaSD says:

    Rachel- Goodnight

    Napa- Lol how long was your flight, I think the last Tokyo flight I was on was about 9 hours to LAX

  291. NapaSB says:

    thanks rachel! Goodnight!!

    TexaSD – yes..trying not to, but it is so hard to resist sometimes…

  292. TexaSD says:

    Napa- So what have you been doing all day, catching up on sleep?

  293. Rachel 386002 says:

    Goodnight all… I’m off to bed. Long day tomorrow. Welcome home Napa!

  294. NapaSB says:

    got back at about noon today

  295. TexaSD says:

    Napa- thats cool, how long you been home?

  296. NapaSB says:

    TexaSD – my trip was fine, it was a bit rushed since we ended up going to Tokyo as well…but it went well and I am back at home in one piece so I cant complain :)

  297. Vixen says:

    OCSugar- my prayers and well wishes go out to you and your BF in this troubling times. I’m sure you have many people who can comfort you but still if you just need to talk, i’m always willing to listen.
    You both have enough strength to get through this, don’t ever doubt that!

  298. NapaSB says:

    haha TexaSD I thought you might be mad about that bit…

  299. TexaSD says:

    Napa- Well how was your trip?

  300. SWM_TXSD says:

    is anybody out there?

  301. TexaSD says:

    Napa- you went to geylang and didn’t bring me any woman :( lol

  302. Rachel 386002 says:

    Napa I’m still here!

  303. TexaSD says:

    Napa- I will let you as soon as I get it lol

  304. NapaSB says:

    …hello? anyone here?

  305. NapaSB says:

    TexaSD – you have mail :)

  306. NapaSB says:

    Rachel – a good sense of humor and a warm smile…mmmm yes please

  307. Rachel 386002 says:

    LOL… I feel silly now NYC! LOLOL! Did my own hair and makeup for the wedding… GREAT wedding.

    Dee – I agree with the [email protected]$$ stuff. I always joke around saying i’m a professional wise @$$ and my sense of humor will be apparent so if he can’t handle a little sarcasm and smartness then he isn’t for me… he should be able to dish it as well. I love to laugh. I think a good sense of humor is a huge turn on.

  308. NYC SB says:

    Rachel – you are referring to Flos tips on having a good profile… i think what she meant was that your full body shot should be you wearing black lol maybe you misread (or maybe I did)

    I liked the pictures… it makes sense as we tend to look our best at weddings and get our hair and make up done …

  309. Just Dee in NC says:

    Napa, if a man can’t put up with my inner [email protected] from day 1, we’ll never get along. I may rein it in a bit in a first email, like in the example above, but I don’t lock it away completely.

  310. Rachel 386002 says:

    Hi dee!

  311. NapaSB says:

    Dee I think we are on the same wavelength because that it almost exactly what I said…my inner [email protected] is so hard to contain sometimes :)

  312. SWM_TXSD says:

    hi dee

  313. TexaSD says:

    Napa- I am tapping my fingers lol…

    TXSD- I didn’t think it was weird, I wish I was that moron lol

  314. Just Dee in NC says:

    Hi, Rachel and SWM.

  315. NapaSB says:

    TexaSD – haha i’ve got to upload the pictures…standby please 😉

  316. SWM_TXSD says:

    sorry about the wierd post just got back from being with my girls. need a beer.

  317. Just Dee in NC says:

    Napa, my inner [email protected] is right there. And here’s how I would answer that:

    Are you always this talkative? :-)

    Actually, I am interested. Your profile had caught my eye a few days ago. You mention …………………………….., and I have to tell you that ……………………………… (insert whatever it was about his profile that caught your attention, all purely [email protected]).

    Tell me more about you, oh Man of Few Words! Do I need to buy you a vowel to get you started? 😉

    ANyway, Napa, that’s just me. Any man who sends a one-word email has to know he’s got to throw out a bone or two if he wants a response.

  318. TexaSD says:

    Stephan- Thanks

    TXSD- Lol thats, dude was a moron… I just wish I made enough to hand out 20k a month, god that would be sweet…

  319. SWM_TXSD says:

    OC- My prayers go out to you and your SD. Hope all goes well.

    NYgent – I agree with you on the traveled all over the world thing. That would be intimitating to me too. I cant spell to save my life. I dont know why I thought of this but it reminds me of a show I saw on TV awhile back about the hard rock casino pool. Some guy was paying 10,000.00 dollars a day for a cabana and had a couple of girls with him. He looked to be about 26 and its all I think about when I see the 20,000 allowance girls. The cabana had no real value but the guy must think it was cool and the girls were digging it. And I just dont see how a girl thinks that is real life or cool. Plus the guy is a moran for doing it.

  320. TexaSD says:

    Stephan- Great, I been waiting to see these pics…

    Napa- Hurry up with the pictures lol

  321. stephan says:

    TexasSD: sure, thanks for asking

    NapaSB: you have mail

  322. TexaSD says:

    Napa- Tell him, lets meet up and buy me dinner, and pitch yourself to me lol

  323. Rachel 386002 says:

    Ahhhh… finally home from work… food in the oven, glass of wine… and waiting for Fringe to come on! I need another assistant so I can get out of work at a reasonable hour! LOL… or a SD who I can’t wait to see :)

    NYC SB – the pics were taken 1 day apart this fall. The curly pic was the night before my friend’s wedding, the other 2 were at the wedding the next day.

    I saw mentioned on the blog previously that a full body shot in black and white is a good thought. I have a friend who is a photographer and she will assist me on this (after some persuasion of course). I will make the adjustments you suggested.

    TXSB – I look forward to your comments :)

    OC – I’m sad to hear of your sd/bf accident. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. Please keep us updated to how you and he are doing.

    How is everyone else here this evening?

  324. NapaSB says:

    Maybe I could pick up an awesome accent while I am there too…

    So I just got a message from an SD who’s profile I looked at the other day…message read as follows; “interested?”

    I dont know what to do with that…my inner [email protected] is just begging to get out, but yes oddly I am interested…jeez, somehow I dont think “only if you are always this talkative” is a good response to ensure continued interest…help?

  325. TexaSD says:

    Napa- There is worse places to go lol… great education, great women :)… then off to Singapore, where we can open our Import/export business

  326. NapaSB says:

    TexaSD haha and now you are trying to bundle me off to Australia? ..there are worse fates i suppose :)

  327. TexaSD says:

    Stephan- can you give Napa my email, I am waiting on my pics from her trip lol

  328. TexaSD says:

    Napa- The University of Sydney is a great place to get a degree in International Taxation, 😉

  329. NapaSB says:

    haha hmm TexaSD thats a bit of a change late in the game huh? but i do love a challenge

  330. Just Dee in NC says:

    Yes, NYGent, that is very true! You’re creating memories together that you will forever associate with that person, that place, that time.

  331. TexaSD says:

    NYgent- I second that.. a place that neither have been is the most fun of all, or a place that maybe one has been to, but not long enough to explore

  332. NYGent says:

    Just Dee: actually a place where neither of us has ever been is probably the most fun of all, not only in sugar dating but IRL. Discovering, exploring a place together for the first time for both is very romantic . . .

  333. TexaSD says:

    Napa- hmmm, well how about a change of major to like, International Taxation, and International Business :)

  334. NapaSB says:

    hmmm well I put my degree off for a bit, so I dont have it just yet *blushes* I am double majoring in psychology and sociology though…

  335. TexaSD says:

    Napa- Ok, we need another name though lol. What did you get your degree in?

  336. Flo Rida says:

    OC – So sorry for your problems. You are in my prayers. Today has been full of drama for me but your news puts everything into perspective in terms of what’s real versus drama. Huge hugs x

  337. NYGent says:

    Just Dee: fair point. There are always individual circumstances. I’m just saying that generally speaking, as a matter of personal preference, I will enjoy it more taking an SB to someplace I’ve been a dozen times and she’s never been, than going to someplace she’s been to a dozen times and I’ve never been. Maybe it’s an old fashioned attitude or some sort of control issue, it’s just the way I feel.

  338. DesertBunny says:

    OC~ I am so sorry to hear the news. My prayers and warmest positive energy will be joining the effort. Good thoughts coming his way! Please call if you need/want to talk… anytime.

  339. NapaSB says:

    TexaSD – haha alright 😉

  340. NapaSB says:

    NYGent – i see your point, thank you for the clarification :)

  341. TexaSD says:

    Napa- Sounds interesting, maybe we can move to Singapore together and get it started, I can get you permanent residence for investors 😉 lol

  342. Just Dee in NC says:

    NYGent, why do you assume she would ‘pretend’ to be enthusiastic? The fact that she’s with you, seeing the location from your point of view, is going to be thrilling for many women. Just because I’ve been to Washington DC a couple dozen times doesn’t mean I wouldn’t thoroughly love and enjoy and be enthusiastic about spending a few days there with someone new.

  343. NapaSB says:

    TexaSD – sorry :( haha maybe I could start a business.. “Napa’s Fine Asian Imports”

  344. TexaSD says:

    Napa- ahh I was really looking forward to some singapura or nihonjin women

  345. NapaSB says:

    TexaSD – WHEW! thank you :) haha I felt like the kid that everyone knows is going to get picked last for the dodgeball game…

  346. NYGent says:

    napa: didn’t say “less interesting,” of course more travel/knowledge makes one more interesting, all else being equal. I’m just not looking for someone who, as texasd puts it, will be able to say “been there done that” w/r/t things I want to pursue with her and places I want to go with her. Even if she pretends to be enthusiastic will not be the same for someone who “hasn’t been there/done that.”

  347. NapaSB says:

    I feel like just because I have been to a country or a city it doesnt mean that you cant show me something new or that it somehow makes me jaded to have traveled

  348. TexaSD says:

    Stephan- No prob. Glad to know the day is going well, I think OC having her problems is really all the bad one can handle in a day… Sometimes I love it when the day goes by fast, specially when i wake up in the morning and wish it was already over lol.

    Napa- well, as you don’t have the, I know it all, done it all, i just need you for one thing attitude. i think we can make some exceptions in your case lol

  349. NapaSB says:

    TexaSD – I have been home for about 4 hours…ish? I emailed txsb so I will get your email from her and send you your pictures :) no luck on a beautiful asian import for you :( sorry

  350. stephan says:

    TexasSD: The day’s been well, it’s gone by fast but no complaints. Been enjoying your comments and others as usual. Thank you!

  351. NapaSB says:

    On the topic of SB who have traveled extensively or know multiple languages being less interesting to some SD’s, that is seriously a downer for me…

  352. TexaSD says:

    Napa- Cool, looking forward to some pics :) Any luck bringing back some woman??? (please) lol… How long have you been home?

  353. NapaSB says:

    TexaSD – i am glad you are doing well, I am not busy at all right now, laying on my bed back in Cali trying to think nonjetlag thoughts :)

  354. NYC SB says:

    OC – had a feeling something was off… thus my email the other day… he and you are in my prayers… ::BIG HUGS::

  355. TexaSD says:

    Napa- Not bad today, I haven’t been that busy lol, how about you? Where are you now?

    Stephan- How has the day gone for you?

  356. TexaSD says:

    OC- sorry to hear about your SD/bf hope all goes well for him.

    NYgent- I have noticed what you say about these 10k+ women, I have found out a number of them are escorts, and are looking to keep up their lifestyle. I have been emailed by stranded pros too.. I can’t afford these women, they want as much as I make lol, I am not as well traveled as some of them either, nor have I been to all 50 states, more like 6, never been to the Carribean. I have lived in a few large cities HK, London, LA (is Vegas Large?), but ya, I don’t know if it would be fun being with them, as opposed to someone who has not been to those places. I think it is cool exploring places together vs, been there done that… (other than money what do you want from me then?)

  357. NapaSB says:

    Hi TexaSD! I am doing well, how are you?

  358. stephan says:

    OC – Very sorry to hear about your sugar’s condition. He will be in my prayers, and positive thoughts and energy are being sent to his ICU. Thank you for the Sugar update, keep us posted please..

  359. TexaSD says:

    Napa- Hi how are you?

  360. NapaSB says:

    Hello Everyone!

    Happy Birthday TXSB!!you have mail (napatastic)

    OC – so very sorry to hear that you are going through a hard time right now, you and your SD/bf are in my heart and on my mind.

  361. Just Dee in NC says:

    I don’t know about blocking. On another site, if someone blocks you and you try to send them an email, you get a message pop-up that says you’ve been blocked by that user and cannot send to them.

  362. NYGent says:

    midwest yes i believe if you block them they see the bright red diagonal “do not go here” sign.

  363. Midwest SB says:

    Can someone tell if you have blocked him?

    This guy in Chicago has sent the same canned message three times “i want to meet u” . I wrote back the first time in my early days and all he wants is a pro.

  364. Midwest SB says:

    OC – Sooo sorry for SD/BF. Lots of thoughts and prayers.

    NYGent – That made my heart melt. Although I am not a 20-something, I would love someone to introduce me to those experiences. That and travel are the two main reasons I’m here (and to men who are driven to success).

  365. Midwest SB says:

    Evening sugars!

    Happy Birthdaty TXSB

    NYGent – in my case, I got married knowing my husband had a preconceived ideal partner in mind and worked hard to achieve that ideal (very close to my personal goals). Funny thing is his current wife is the complete opposite of the preconceived ideal. If you could here my tone, it’s not bitterness – perhaps resolve.

    SWM – I really believe the age/drama/ life experience issue is best considered on an individual basis. The responses to that question over many blogs has been varied and inconsistent.

    HL – I love your posts :-) You make a great uncle! (and SD I’m sure)

  366. Just Dee in NC says:

    That’s an interesting perspective, NYGent.

  367. NYGent says:

    OC: I’m hoping for the best for him and you too.

  368. NYGent says:

    TXSB makes a valid point on the mentoring concept. I personally am not looking for an SB who has been everywhere, done everything, knows everything. That’s no fun for an SD! Of course it’s not strictly an age thing: I see many profiles of SB’s in their 20s that say they speak 4 languages fluently, have been to every continent several times and lived in 8 different foreign cities. Well, I speak 1 language fluently (a second one a little bit), am relatively well traveled (almost all the U.S. states, several Europoean countries plus Canada, Mexico, the Carribean), and have lived in 2 large cities (Washington D.C. and NYC), and one somewhat large one (Columbus Ohio). But I’m nowhere near as internationally cultured as some of these SBs. I like to show somebody something they’ve never seen or experienced that I’ve done, or at least discover it for the first time together. I know that the SB who advertises herself as international and worldly is trying to appeal to those SDs who may be even more so, but i’m not in the billionaire jet set league and don’t care to look for an SB who’s looking for that. These are typically the ones who post financial needs of +10,000 or even +20,000 a month. I just flip right past’em, even if they appear to be the hottest of the hot. Don’t get me wrong I do well enough and am generous (I think), but conspicuous (or ridiculous) consumption is not my game.

  369. Just Dee in NC says:

    Hi, OC – I hate to hear about your SD’s condition. He’ll certainly be in my prayers, and know that you will be as well.

  370. Just Dee in NC says:

    Everyone gone to dinner?

  371. TXSB says:

    Everyone…I need to finish getting ready and meet SD for dinner….I will see all of you later. :)


    In case you’re on this evening…I have not had a chance to go through your profile, but will do you and e-mail you my thoughts later tonight.


    Will you please email me? :) tx_sb at hot mail

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Hello Sugars! I wanted to stop in a give you a Sugar update. I am sad to say that it is not very sugar’y. My SD/BF had a horrible accident this past weekend and is in the ICU. All my prayers aren’t enough! I hope my sugar family will add him in they prayers as well. Sorry for not emailing those that have send me e-notes, I have been out of touch with things since it happened. Think good thoughts! xxxoo ~OC

  372. Taz says:

    Lol well indeed!!! And you also don’t have to invest anymore time into someone who is not serious :)

  373. TXSB says:

    Yikes @ the pot SD’s response!


    Flo Rida:
    Thank you! :)

  374. Anna Molly says:

    Yeah…too bad for him…lol

  375. Taz says:

    AM – agreed with NYCSB…too bad :(

  376. EasternSureBaby says:

    There was a question about age in the relationship. I was seeing a man 10 years younger than me. He was relentless about getting me to go out with him, but the age bothered me. I finally gave in, and we were together for 3 months. It was great!! But the distance finally took it’s toll on us, and we ended it, but are still friends. I think it’s a maturity level. If you are both at the same place, it’ll work. Get to know each other and see where it goes.

  377. NYC SB says:

    AM – yeahhhh NEXT! which site does he think he is on?

  378. Anna Molly says:

    I haven’t sent my reply yet.

  379. Anna Molly says:

    I thought I made it pretty clear as to what I was talking about.

  380. NYC SB says:

    Dec 8th ladies… you all have mail 😀 please check and kindly reply

  381. Anna Molly says:

    Taz ~ Yes he said he was confused as to what I was asking and wanted to know if I was talking about a financial arrangement.

  382. Flo Rida says:

    TXSB – try a 60 second ice bath immediately after the work out – it’s sooooo cold but it’ll help the soreness. you can also try a post event sports massage (if masseuse doesn’t know what it is move on). Heat compresses after all of this. You should be dandy!

  383. Taz says:

    Hey AM – any word from the pot?

  384. Anna Molly says:

    LOL @ TXSB

    Hi Taz :)

  385. TXSB says:

    LOL! You sound just like him! He literally had me in tears by the time we were done. :(

  386. Taz says:

    I am 30 and have a lot of life experience in many ways – I would still have a lot to learn from a mentor though…at my age – I would be willing to learn.

  387. TXSB says:

    One more thing I thought of regarding the SB “age issue”. Many SDs prefer someone younger (I guess early 20’s or so) b/c they enjoy playing to role of “mentor” to a young girl who still has a lot to learn. Obviously the older people get, the more “life experience” they have…..a SB who’s let’s say….37…has a lot less to “learn” from a 45 year old SD compared to a SB who’s 22 (again not all…but in most cases). So if playing the role of “mentor” is important to you….then this is something you may want to think about when searching through SBs.

  388. NYGent says:

    TXSB: of course

  389. TXSB says:

    Glad to hear things are better with your SB. Since I won’t be at the 8th dinner… :( ….will you please give us “non 8th attendees” a progress report too? :)


    Welcome! I guess the SD’s here on the board are the best ones to answer your question. I was “lucky” in the sense that my SD himself brought up the topic of safe sex before our arrangement. The only thing I can say is that whatever his reaction is…it will tell you whether or not he’s the “right” SD for you. If he gets upset, offended, angry…or tries to come up with excuses as to why he can’t or won’t get tested…..then you can stop wasting your time and move on.

    And also, no matter what the tests reveal….it’s very important to still always use protection b/c even though he may be “clean” right now….doesn’t guarantee he won’t catch something in a few weeks (you have no idea who else he’s having sex with). Good luck!!!

  390. Anna Molly says:

    TXSB ~ You have to fight through it and not give in to the pain! :)

  391. TXSB says:

    Hi Everyone!!! :)

    *sigh* So I haven’t been to the gym since Thanksgiving (before then I was meeting w/ trainer 3-4x/wk). Today was my 1st day “back” after not going for a week. Trainer totally killed me…..I’m soooo frigging sore (and it’s only going to get worse in the next few days). :(

    Sipping on protein shake and catching up on blog/e-mails….

  392. TexaSD says:

    Sassy- As I first stated, I have no advice to give on that, I don’t know, everyone is different. but good luck on that, hopefully you will find a relationship that will be exclusive, that should help keep the risk down if everyone keeps to that. always remember, When you get tested, it is only for that day, and not everything will show up, especially if he contracted the day before or even 3 months before that. Good luck, or maybe try to find a married one. with a faithful wife, that could help you, and I am pretty sure the pot will be more receptive to a test

  393. Taz says:

    Happy Lurker – very well put and so true :)

    Ahhh NYGent – good to hear!! But I won’t be there on the 8th :( :(

    Sassy – TexaSD is correct – getting tested IS a good thing definitely (wish everyone did) but does in essence give you a false senses of security – all it means is right NOW – some STD’s lie dormant and don’t show up at all for some time BUT can still be passed on. Perhaps you want to check out the last blog – it had a lot of info on this subject :) As far as the SD’s reactions – I will wait for a SD to answer lol…but from a SB perspective – I would be happy to oblige and even though the sense of security may be somewhat false – I would feel good in knowing he was proactive about his health..and mine.

  394. SassySugar says:

    Thanks for your words of caution. I certainly don’t think the testing is a final word – as you say, human behaviour is the key element and unpredictable. I simply think it is an important starting point. There are other conversations that must be had, and there are all kinds of trust dynamics that are in play.

    All that having been said, what I did ask was how a SD might react to such a request.

  395. TexaSD says:

    Sassy- I am not trying to be rude, I am not mad, or anything like that, if it appeared that way sorry. I am a pretty laid back, easy to get a long with guy, and I wasn’t trying to be confrontational.

  396. TexaSD says:

    I have never heard of a list!? Wouldn’t that violate some kind of privacy law?

    Thats why they are more of those “private testing places’ showing up all over the place. A doctor by law, has to report it.

  397. TexaSD says:

    Sassy- I have been tested, but as my doctor always said to me, the only way to be almost 99.9% don’t have sex for about a year… Even if my SB were to be tested, how would i know if she didn’t sleep with someone else with 6 months and contract anything, you can have herpes and never have a symptom for your whole life, and still pass it, you can get it one day, and pass it the very next, you are talking about human behaviour, and lets face it, if your not married you can’t really control the SB/SD. all you have is trust. and a thin layer of latex. If that makes you feel better to have them tested, go ahead. I can tell you from some of my friends who are Doctor/Nurse. even the test aren’t 100%. I just want you to be aware of that, it seems like you are making a decision on something that is more of a variable than a constant.

  398. SassySugar says:

    Out of curiosity, what would your honest reaction be if a SB asked you to get tested?

  399. TexaSD says:

    SassySugar- you will never know he is clean… thats the real truth, don’t be lured into a false sense of security…

  400. TexaSD says:

    In CA if a prostitute is picked up with a john and she doesn’t have a condom and is infected, she will get attempted murder charges

  401. TexaSD says:

    Sassy- there is a Vaccine for Hep B, (the STD) hep A is not a STD and hep C is not either. Luckily there is treatment for a lot of the non fatal ones, with the exception of Herpes, and some forms of HPV

  402. TexaSD says:

    Syphilis can remain dormant for years, another reason why its making a comeback after nearly being wiped out in the US

  403. SassySugar says:

    I have never heard of a list!? Wouldn’t that violate some kind of privacy law? Anyway, there are other things to be concerned with too, besides HIV. I hate to be the downer, but there is herpes, syphilis, chlamidia, hepatitits, gonorrhea, etc.

    I feel like once I know he is clean and we continue to be safe, I can focus on the fun of having a SD relationship not any potential ‘side effects’.

  404. TexaSD says:

    Cleo & Sassy, It can be 6 months that anything shows up, you can’t do a blood test for HPV on a man. and in those last 6 months, there is no telling if he/she was infected…

  405. TexaSD says:

    Sassy if you are in the US, last time i checked, people with those kinds of illness are posted on the states list… So if a pot knows he is infected, chances are (at least 50%) the state knows too

  406. SassySugar says:

    Cleo: Thanks, this is perfect. :) It can be a bit nerve-wracking to bring up in a regular relationship and I tend to over-explain even though I shouldn’t have to. This is such a nice and casual way to approach it.

    Honestly, if he gives me the run around on it or resists, he isn’t worth the risk.

  407. SWM-TXSD says:

    thanks nygent
    sassy – if the girl i wanted to have a intamte relationship asked me to get tested I would. But I would be pissed if she was only putting me through the motions on a check list and found we had nothing really in common. What I mean by that is. Meet and greet, Meet second time and set arrangment. Sorry cant do arragment without med check, Ok do med check, next date sorry I dont think I really like you are this arragement.

  408. cleo says:

    Sassy: “i was tested three months after my last partner and tested clean. yourself?”

  409. TexaSD says:

    Sassy-Great for her. Ya I would be too, although I try not to let things terrorize me. Sorry to say I have no advice for you on that matter.

  410. NYGent says:

    SWM-TD: I have had two much younger SBs, both 23 or half my age (one currently), and age was not an issue for me in either case. It was/is for one of them but wasn’t for the other. Drama was not an issue in either case either. Another was 30 and complete drama and constant lies even though we had more in common. It all depends.

    Am cautiously optimistic about the current one, things going a little better, we meet again this weekend. Probably won’t turn into anything long term but satisfactory for now. I can give a progress report on the 8th.

  411. SassySugar says:

    Yes. I have a friend who found out her ex (a reg guy) was HIV+ while they were dating. Pure luck she was not infected. After that I’ve always been a little freaked out at the idea.

  412. TexaSD says:

    SassySugar- do you require any men you date to do that too?

  413. SassySugar says:

    Any thoughts about asking a pot SD to go for STD testing before begining the intimate part of your relationship? How to approach it, what kind of reactions to expect, etc.

  414. NYC SB says:

    snippet from a cali pot i have been corresponding:

    “i am really excited to meet. all along ive been impressed with your articulation, your ambition, and your good taste.”

    that sure does make a girl feel great… even after attending the worst meeting of her life (basically no life for me for the next 6 months) BLAH

  415. NYC SB says:

    Rachel – your profile is fine… i would suggest spacing it out and making couple of paragraphs rather than one block of text… men tend to see this huge block and not bother reading it… if you present it in smaller chunks it will get greater response…

    also your pictures… i would rethink them as you look like 3 different persons in each… are they taken with much time appart?

  416. Anna Molly says:

    You’re welcome, even though I didn’t offer you much help..lol

  417. SWM-TXSD says:

    thanks for all the advice everyone

  418. Happy Lurker says:

    For an SB an older gentleman is quite a relief.
    Young men are jealous and demanding and lay the law on you.
    In the relationship only their ego counts.
    Now an older gentleman does not have to prove himself, he is much more mellow and understands life.
    He brings stability and security with him and above all patience.
    He will find joy in her happiness and likes to act as a mentor and encourage her instead of holding her back.
    The most important aspect is that you understand change.
    Life is all about change and most people are adverse to change.
    I for one have always welcomed change and tried to grow by changing.
    So you start out in your mid twenties and marry and when you are in your thirties you will be a completely different person.
    Now this counts for the both of them.
    So at a certain moment their paths and expectations of life will diverge.
    Never feel quilt or feel to blame yourself or your partner.
    This is the path that life has in store for all of us.
    It is as the lyrics of the song:
    “Everything will change
    “You and I
    “even the sun in the sky
    “everything will change.
    When I look back on how I was as a young man and what my outlook on life is now, I simply was an ignoramus !

  419. Flo Rida says:

    SWM SD – young women and older women can bring drama into your life – if depends on the person. In general though I believe when someone reaches 28 they ‘mature’ as a lady & generally there’s more drama with younger women. My 2 cents.

  420. cleo says:

    swm-txsd: it’s always funny when guys give me massages, they are always stunned because i am covered in muscle that’s supple. they’re so used to the sinewy tough muscles of a gym bunny instead of the kind pilates/yoga build.

    it’s a lovely reaction i must say.

  421. Taz says:

    TexaSD – I forgot how private you were 😉 Honestly though – you can trust us blog sb’s 😉 Maybe one day you will divulge 😉

  422. Taz says:

    Being more close minded when I was younger really helped me learn and grow. I was very stuck in my ways – which I conformed to b/c of my upbringing. After seeing that those ‘ways’ have not worked for me (or anyone else really) I have changed my tune – A LOT. You have to be open minded in life – or you miss so many of the the opportunities set in front of you. So yes at 25 I was mature but still more set in my ways than I am now…some people become jaded – hence set in their ways – but most definitely NOT all.

  423. TexaSD says:

    Cleo- While I believe that is true… but in reality, I am not sure yet, I have noticed it in women from ages as young as 22 to well no ceiling… it all depends on their life exp, I think. I do believe people can become more open minded depending on life exp as well, so who knows, I didn’t mean for any of you to think that older means, less willing to negotiate…

  424. photogirl says:

    Cleo – I agree… although I have always been a very open minded person I believe I am even more so these days.

  425. Taz says:

    Cleo – couldn’t agree more :)

  426. Taz says:

    Well SWMTXSD – there are a lot of beautiful and no drama SB’s on the blog 😉 I personally think women (and many men) can be full of drama regardless of age – some just have that disposition in their personality…

  427. cleo says:

    TexaSD are you assuming that the older someone is the more ‘set’ they get? because i think that is only true with some people and not all.

    some people grow more open minded as they age and others do the opposite

  428. Taz says:

    Hmmm I see – you said you did mr!!! Lol…no wonder I couldn’t find you in my who viewed me 😛

  429. SWM-TXSD says:

    I have no problem dating up to my age really. but it seems with age comes more drama. Now it could be I keep picking wrong(and lord knows I dont seem to be the sharpest tool in the shed these days). I just want a “god its good to see you” and vice versa relationship right now. no drama, family problems etc…Just two people having fun. Oh and she does need to be somewhat of a hardbody(a guy can dream cant he)

  430. TexaSD says:

    Taz- Lol, never clicked it…. It would reveal me lol…

  431. Taz says:

    Hmmm TexaSD – maybe you didn’t see my profile??? Lol…I have three pics up…

  432. TexaSD says:

    Cleo- To me its a mindset, usually to me, it means, that you are less willing to negotiate than me, or have a laundry list of demands, if not met, poof your gone.

  433. cleo says:

    what set in your ways thing?

  434. TexaSD says:

    Cleo- I think older men, maybe don’t like the whole “set in your ways thing” that can be a little uncomfortable. Younger men, might not be looking for anything long term, so its something that they might be willing to overlook in exchange for fun, and mutual enjoyment…. Or something to that effect

  435. cleo says:

    man it’s amazing how often i end up dating younger men. i don’t mean to but so many of them chase me… i think they believe in mrs. robinson…

  436. TexaSD says:

    Taz, I only think I saw 1 pic of you, the one that pops out after a search. but ya i think you could go pass for younger, maybe try adjusting your age minus a year or 2 see what happens, I don’t search for specific age ranges personally, I have found that hasn’t really been helpful.

  437. Taz says:

    TexaSD says:
    December 3, 2009 at 10:44 am

    Taz- Well I don’t seek inside my age group only. A good number of the girls wouldn’t consider me anyways, (too young lol).

    There is always something isn’t there?? Lol…too young…too old….I just want ONE sd to think I am just right 😀 Afterall I AM perfectly flawed :P:P

  438. Taz says:

    TexaSD – agreed….buuuut I am also cut off in SOME searches b/c I am at 30 – where as 29 I would get a lot more hits I would assume – not that I am complaining with what I have now…you have seen pics of me Texa – could I pass for younger?? (if you say no I will still have love for you lmao). Nonetheless I refuse to lie on my profile even if it is just a year…well almost two now – ugh – 31 is seeming so much older than 30 did last year lol….

  439. TexaSD says:

    Taz- well maybe more than a few, some of them seem pretty set in their ways, so I don’t know about those women.

  440. TexaSD says:

    Taz- Well I don’t seek inside my age group only. A good number of the girls wouldn’t consider me anyways, (too young lol). So then I just expand it, but there really is a lot of woman seeking the older guy, for a number of reasons I guess. Ya i don’t know about the older SDs looking at your range, I don’t know why they wouldn’t, there isn’t much difference I have noticed in looks from 24-35, or plus or minus a few years from those numbers

  441. Taz says:

    TexaSD – only a few???

  442. Taz says:

    TexaSD – in all fairness you are one of the younger sd’s out there lol

  443. cleo says:

    TexaSD: yeah but you are also young right? i’m just wishing that more of the men who are in fact my age or older would look at women my age instead of skipping straight to the younger girls.

    i’m not objecting per se to you seeking in your own age group :)

  444. TexaSD says:

    Well I am very comfortable being with a 25 year old, or 18 for that matter lol.. or hell 35, I found a few women that can teach me a few things lol…

  445. Taz says:

    I am 30 – definitely NOT 25 but I do believe at 25 I was very mature for my age. Some people’s life experiences allow them growth before their time…on the other end – I do agree with Cleo – I do believe at 30 I have a lot more to offer any relationship I enter into.

  446. cleo says:

    see i really want to say “aw come on, give the sb’s closer to your own age a chance” but you know, that’s just cause i am one.

    really it’s whatever works for the two of you.

    that said, i don’t agree that ‘age is just a number’ because that’s a nice thing to say but it isn’t true. if it were my profile would get zillions more hits and the SDs i favourite or email would write back.

    it’s also not true in more fundamental ways. there is a wisdom and a clarity that comes with years being added to your face. a breadth of experience and understanding. that is not to say that i don’t know some amazing and clever and wise young people because i do. i really do.

    but they’re still *young*

    which is very different from young at heart.

  447. Rachel 386002 says:

    Alright ladies and gents… Time for me to come clean…. my hiatus was because I was a bit disgruntled from SA.. NOT the blog… you guys are great! But from the email quality… or lack there of.

    So I stayed away and came back when I had a better outlook on this. I didn’t want to email people back when I was disappointed, I believe I would have come off as a negative person. No now that I’m back and chipper… it’s time to fix the profile to make it rock.

    Any takers on viewing my profile and giving me pointers? I know it’s annoying… but….. here’s a smile to help persuade you :)

    NYCSB you may be able to help me seeing you’re close to my location.

    Talk to you guys when I get back from work!

  448. TXSB says:

    Creepy to who? Are YOU comfortable with the idea of being with a 25 year old?

  449. Taz says:

    Awwww – everyone is agreeing with me today :)

  450. Anna Molly says:

    I with Taz, age is just a number.

  451. Taz says:

    The sugar bowl is not very judgmental that way SWMTXSD – IRL you may get some looks – but they are probably just jealous or insecure 😉

  452. Taz says:

    Explore it :) I don’t think it is creepy at all if two people are compatible and honestly enjoy their time together.

  453. SWM-TXSD says:

    it sounds like it could be fun if there was good conversation(you do have to talk and spend time togather) just dont know if that seems creepy

  454. Taz says:

    My long awaited pot date is coming…so is the NY dinner :( (why do I have to keep reminding myself of that?? lol) Just got off the phone with him and I am very excited – over the couple months we have been in contact he has been SUCH a gentleman – I am very excited to meet him!! He sent me a photo back that I sent to him – he actually went into photoshop and lightened the pic a bit and said he was astounded with the results…awww…how sweet :) The pic DOES in fact look much better now!

  455. TXSB says:

    I second Taz. It’s upto you and the SB to decide whether or not the age is an “issue”. :)

  456. Taz says:

    I wasn’t trying to be rude with the last comment – but really an arrangement is what YOU desire – be picky :) I personally think age is just a number…

  457. Taz says:

    Better question SWMTXSD – do you think it is?

  458. SWM-TXSD says:

    do you guys think 25 SB is to young for a 47 SD

  459. cleo says:

    TexaSD: it’s too bad that i’m too far, old, and tall for you because i think we’re looking for the same arrangement ;>
    NYC SB: you posted a comment by someone named jaja on the blog called “clues, signals and hints” do you happen to know him? i would like to ask him a couple of things…

  460. TexaSD says:

    Cleo- maybe thats what I meant by a marriage without the marriage part lol…

    TXSD- Ditto what cleo said, if they use the word deserve, walk away…

  461. cleo says:

    TXSD: i would run away from anyone who “deserves” in her profile… but that’s just me

  462. cleo says:

    TexaSD: i guess there’s no way to really call this anything but what it is… but i have been thinking of it that way the whole time :)

  463. SWM-TXSD says:

    thanks guys

  464. cleo says:

    SWM-SD: i would have a hard time respecting an sb who spent her whole allowance on shopping… unless she was very sane with her own money and really did make enough to put away for herself and everything.

    even then i’d wonder because money in the bank is better than having a hundred pairs of shoes. notwithstanding that i will cheerfully spend 300 bucks on decent winter boots but i won’t buy six pairs :)

  465. cleo says:

    what the heck?

    i’m sorry you guys, somehow the page reloaded to an old comment, lost the new comments and double posted.


  466. TXSB says:

    Creme & TexaSD: Thank you!!! :)


    Yep…*sigh* I woke up this morning alone with my cats next to me which is fine given my age. But the idea that this could happen on my 45th bday is terrifying to me. :(


    Depends on the SBs age. Also, just b/c she’s had a profile on the site for 1 year…doesn’t necessarily mean she’s been looking the entire time (ie. hasn’t had a SD). My SA profile has been hidden for the last 2 months….whenever things with my SD ends….*IF* I make the profile active again and look for another SD, even though the date will show I’ve been here since XX….but I wasn’t really “active” the entire time.

  467. TexaSD says:

    Cleo- I would think something like that too. I know it doesn’t imply exclusivity as NYCSB stated, so being more clever with our words wouldn’t hurt… Yes honesty and being upfront is probably the most important.

  468. TexaSD says:

    TXSD- I don’t know, I would think perhaps she likes Sugar dating as opposed to real dating, or perhaps she is doing both, (one of those, blows money just to blow it, or spends it on her bf/husband. who knows)

  469. cleo says:

    NYCSB: i must needs disagree. my friend with benefits and i had agreed to be exclusive with the caveat that we would go on hold if one of us met someone… as one of us eventually did.

    he’s married now.

    but as far as i know for most of that year we were utterly monogamous.

    friends with benefits is a negotiation too :)
    poptart: they let women behave badly because either
    a) she’s really really hot
    b) they love being submissive
    c) they’re looking for mommy
    d) she is amazing in bed
    e) they truly believe it’s better than being alone (tragic)
    f) they figure they can’t do better
    g) some combo thereof
    snbsd: you’re welcome.
    TXSB: i’m you in ten years… you’re right, you have far less time than you think.

    i am shocked to find that i am in fact going to be that lonely old lady. my sister lives in another city with her husband and child and my parents are aging… (fortunately not too fast.) my more extended family are all older except for three cousins.

    i already have so many stories that no one shares with me or remembers or was there for…
    TexaSD: i stand by the friends with benefits description as the closest to the arrangement idea as we can get. and good fwb is a negotiation between adults that involves honesty, caring and mutual respect. isn’t that what an arrangement ultimately is?

  470. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- Thats right your bday is today, Happy Birthday

  471. SWM-TXSD says:

    Should I be concerned if a girl has been on SA for over a year or two?

  472. TXSB says:

    Hi Taz, Anna, TexaSD, Cleo, NYC SB and anyone else I’m missing! :)

    One more thing to keep in regarding allowance amount. If a SB lives in a place like NY or CA, it makes sense for them to ask for higher allowance b/c of the living cost in those cities. But for someone living in Texas….asking for something like $10k/month is ridiculous.

    I also believe the whole “I want to be spoiled” is something you can find out more about if you really like the SBs profile. As in ask them directly…”You wrote in your profile that you want to be spoiled….what is your definition of being “spoiled”?” Some women consider $5000/month to be “spoiled”…..or others it means $15K/month.

  473. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    TXSB – Happy birthday 😉

  474. SWM-TXSD says:

    txsb thanks that helps

  475. TXSB says:

    This topic was brought up 2 blogs ago….since you’re also near Htown, I’m copying and pasting 2 posts that were written by my SD on this. I don’t know if my SD is currently on the blog or will catch up later and answer this…but hopefully his previous 2 posts will give you an idea as to what his experience was as a SD in the Houston area.

    RealisticSD says:
    November 23, 2009 at 8:27 pm
    TexaSD, ignore their asking for $10K+. I dated one SB in that category and she was ecstatic when I offered her $4K/month.

    RealisticSD says:
    November 23, 2009 at 8:40 pm
    TexaSD, I am not sure why they put $10K when they are happy with less. I suppose that might be their dream, or perhaps they see it as a bargaining position, or perhaps they add in the cost of other perks, but I have made more or less the same offer in every case regardless of what they state as their desired allowance and it has not been an issue.

    Also, I have had people put in their profiles that they want an SD to go shopping with them and I have written back, “I hate shopping and don’t want to be out in a public place like a mall with an SB, so I’ll give you the money and you do the shopping,” and no one every objects to that. Again, they love the idea of the SD taking them to the store and walking out with ten shopping bags, but they would not turn down a reasonable offer. Plus, this is not prostitution where you have to pay X to get Y, so in the setting of a “sugar” relationship, there is a lot of give and take and compromises that go on.

  476. SWM-TXSD says:

    NYC SB thanks. I dont mind the allowance part are shopping. In fact I would be really impressed if she saved the money for a house, car, education, are just to help make ends meet. The whole blow it just to blow it thing scares me.

  477. TexaSD says:

    TXSD- I don’t know if you do this, but before you send out a email, pay attention to their last login date, I have noticed some haven’t logged in months, so I started to pay attention to that, or browse the recently logged tab

  478. cleo says:

    NYCSB: i must needs disagree. my friend with benefits and i had agreed to be exclusive with the caveat that we would go on hold if one of us met someone… as one of us eventually did.

    he’s married now.

    but as far as i know for most of that year we were utterly monogamous.

    friends with benefits is a negotiation too :)
    poptart: they let women behave badly because either
    a) she’s really really hot
    b) they love being submissive
    c) they’re looking for mommy
    d) she is amazing in bed
    e) they truly believe it’s better than being alone (tragic)
    f) they figure they can’t do better
    g) some combo thereof
    snbsd: you’re welcome.
    TXSB: i’m you in ten years… you’re right, you have far less time than you think.

    i am shocked to find that i am in fact going to be that lonely old lady. my sister lives in another city with her husband and child and my parents are aging… (fortunately not too fast.) my more extended family are all older except for three cousins.

    i already have so many stories that no one shares with me or remembers or was there for…

  479. TexaSD says:

    Anna- How are you this morning?

  480. SWM-TXSD says:

    No have sent a couple of emails but never get a response.

  481. NYC SB says:

    SWMTXSD – I have seen much of this as well… being an SB who has had the priviledge of a high allowance (yes those wild amounts) on more than one ocassion I will have to say that now sans SD I am open to a more reasonable amount but with the right man… priorities are different for women… a lot of them have the “princess syndrome” and they seek men who “get of” on having a princess… me … i do not consider myself princess nor expect to be treated as one… spoiling is great but i can do without… my allowances have mostly been used for savings and paying of college debt/car debt/mortgage… maybe 10% of said allowance was spent on shoes and things of such nature…

    My take on “treat me like a princess” is that these women are brats… often bring much drama and they EXPECT to get what they want bc of their looks… if i were an SD i would definitely pass them up… there are many other women on the site who deserve the allowance more than the said princess and will use it wisely to improve their life situation … and no shoes and bags do not improve ones life …

  482. TexaSD says:

    SWM-TXSD- I have looked over in the Houston area too, there is some quite a lot of eye candy there, and there are some girls to watch out for, I started to expand my search farther than Houston, do you have any you are considering?

  483. TexaSD says:

    Ehh, probably not the best statement I made…. but I see it IRL far to often, but who knows, every situation is different, and I could be wrong…

  484. SWM-TXSD says:

    texas sd – are you having any luck in your search. I am trying to look around the houston area

  485. Anna Molly says:

    Hi TexaSD and SWM-TXSD :)

  486. TexaSD says:

    SWM-TXSD I see that all the time too, they probably were the sugar momma in their last relationship, and now are broke, the bf left them, and they feel bad. This is an attempt to replenish their funds, so they can repeat their last mistake, I would avoid some of them, because you are just probably a walking atm

  487. Anna Molly says:

    Thanks Taz :)

    NYGent ~ I would like to know how things are going on the SB front as well :)

  488. TexaSD says:

    – friends with benefits NEVER implies exclusivity …

    NYC SB- true, I guess, I wasn’t using the right words last night, maybe i was just tried, but for me, I would want it to be exclusive as do probably a few other SDs, just. If she wants it not to be, thats fine just tell me. I would just hope she would be honest, so I never find her “cheating”.

    PopTart- But why don’t adults act grown up? lol thats a great question… one that if I were to expand on, I don’t think it would be pretty in here lol.

  489. Taz says:

    NYGent – how is everything going with your sb?

    Sincere – have you gotten around to breaking it off with your sb yet?

    Anna – good luck with poof pot :) fingers crossed for you :)

  490. Taz says:

    Photogirl- I echo what you said about learning and getting married young…

    TXSB – Agreed. You are in fact marryiing your partners family as well…

    SWMTXSD – I personally do NOT have anything of that sort in my profile. I do state that I am seeking a mutually beneficial arrangement…as far as outrageous dollar amounts – from being on the blog and listening to others I think:

    1. ‘professionals’
    2. maybe put a high amount to deter fake sd’s
    3. and some – maybe actually be looking for that

  491. SWM-TXSD says:

    Have a question for the group. Most of the profiles I look at have words like “teat me like a queen”; “must be willing to really spoil me”; Treat me like the princes that I am”; etc…. with some really wild dollar amounts. Is this normal?

  492. TXSB says:

    Nope…..I don’t blame anyone for wanting to be “in love”. Everyone wants to win the lottery….but most people realize that realistically, it probably won’t happen for them. I just wish more people used their brains when it came to marriage/kids instead of just following their emotions.

  493. Anna Molly says:

    poptart ~ No it doesn’t make sense, but as you said it does happen. People get married and have babies for all kinds of reasons and sometimes not for the right ones unfortuneately.

    People react to pressure in differnet ways. I wouldn’t jump off a bridge just because my best friend tells me to, but there is always that one person who would…

  494. TXSB says:

    Thank you!! :) Have a wonderful day….see you later.

  495. TXSB says:

    NYC SB:
    I’m one of those people who want to get married *PARTLY* b/c I don’t want to be alone when I’m older. I come across too many people (co-workers, acquintances etc) who’re in their 40’s, 50’s, 60’s etc…..and they have no one to spend the weekends or holidays with….no spouse (either never married or divorced), no kids.

    Although this is a depressing thought…the fact is that my parents will die someday. My siblings will most likely get married and probably even move to a different state or even country. It’s scary for me to think that someday, I may be 50….and wake up alone with no one to call my “husband”. It’s scary to think that if I make it to 55, I can’t turn to my “husband” and say “Hey remember that time…” and share a story from years before. I don’t want to grow old alone……this may sound “needy”, but I want someone there next to me daily…to watch and help me grow old and go through life (and I’ll do the same for them).

    As for kids, I do want biological children…if for some reason it turns out I’m unable to have them, then I’m defiantely open to adoption…but I would defiantely like to *try* for biological children first. And unfortunately, being a woman, I don’t have the luxury of being able to hold off on it forever. The fact is that the older I get, the risks to myself and the baby does increase. So for any woman who feels that she also wants kids….this is also another issue that makes them feel like there’s a “time limit” and they need to find a husband before the time runs out.

  496. poptart says:

    TXSB – Yes, I also agree with being in love with falling in love.
    But can you blame people?

    NYC SB – I also agree. But disfunctional relationships are not exclusive to marriage. (not suggesting you said they were, i am just rambling)

    I have had waaaay too much coffee today. zipzipzippy.

    Anna- Yes, that often can happen. But why don’t adults act grown up? (YES! That is a loaded question!) People need to take responsibility for themselves. So why go into marriage or have children because of pressure? Who would actually have a baby, and the responsibility it involves, just because their mom insisted? (And i am not saying it doesn’t happen but it boggles my brain!)

  497. snbsd says:

    Happy Birthday TXSB! I’m off to work. Talk to you guys tonight. BTW Thanks for the offers of profile editing from some of you!

  498. Anna Molly says:

    NYC SB ~ Yes, that is very true, but I also think that sometimes in situations like that it may be pressure from the family as well and not so much the persons own true wishes to settle down.

    You have the only children who don’t want to deny the parents the joy of grandchildren. A serious boyfriend comes along and it starts “when are you two going to get married and give me some grandchildren?”

    You have the person with siblings who feels the pressure to conform to the family dynamic and doesn’t want to be labled the “black sheep” for not getting married like the brothers and sisters.

  499. NYC SB says:

    at the same time i think that a lot of people get married in fear of being alone… they settle when choosing a spouse because they NEED someone to complete their life rather than staying single and waiting for that person that they are truly compatible with…

  500. TXSB says:

    Ah ok…so this Mr. Overnight is the same as Mr. Poof from a few days ago. Look forward to hearing about what his response his….good luck! :)


    I agree with Anna’s statement that when most people get married, they don’t look at the big picture. They’re so “in love”….that they don’t talk about serious “issues” which has the potential to cause problems in the marriage. They don’t talk about issues like money and how they will handle money, or kids and how the wil be raised, or will the woman work or stay home after the kids etc.

    This may be a “cultural” thing but I also believe that in the West, people are so focused in “being in love” with each other….most never take into account whether or not the person will get along with the rest of their family. IMO you’re not only marrying that person…their entire family becomes a part of your life and vice versa. Too often I hear about couples fighting with each other b/c 1 spouse doesn’t get along or doesn’t like the other’s family.

  501. Anna Molly says:

    NYGent ~ False. IMO, two people usually get married becuase they love the person they are with and don’t want to change them at all. They are seeing the other person through rose colored glasses otherwise why get married in the first place.

    The institution of marriage has a way of changing people and it doesn’t matter if you lived with the person before hand or not. I don’t believe that most people go into a marriage wanting to change the other person, IMO the issues really begin after the ring is put on the finger.

    When two people decide to get married, I don’t honestly believe that most are looking at the big picture. Going into it the women are thinking about the dress and men are thinking about the bachelor party. Sometimes those little quirks that you think you can live with for the next 60 years can turn into absolute nightmares. Little things can add up over the years and when you get married to someone it shouldn’t be a short term deal….it is forever…or should be anyway.

    I’m rambling and probably not making any sense at all, so I’ll stop now..lol :)

  502. TXSB says:

    Good Morning Everyone!!! :)

    CASB, Yaz, Rachel, NYGent, Anna, NYC SB, Sincere SD, Photogirl, Poptart: Thank you for the birthday wishes! :) :) :)


    Thank for you the birthday wish and also for the words of wisdom! Focusing on the “journey” is definately a lesson I’ve been trying to learn and practice in recent months… :)

  503. photogirl says:

    NYC SB – I was very young when I got married. I can’t nor would I take any of it back now… I do afterall have 3 beautiful girls. But I certainly learned alot more about who I am and what I want in a partner… and what ‘quirks’ I can and cannot accept.

  504. NYC SB says:

    Photo – I think you hit the nail in its head… you need to be with someone whom you do not wish to change… you need to be ok with their personality as is… sure no one is perfect but it is crucial that you are able to accept their quirks… thats just my two cents…

  505. photogirl says:

    NYGent asked ……
    Question for the married sugars, relevant to the topic: It’s been said that a man looks at his bride on his wedding day and hopes she stays the same, and a woman looks at her husband-to-be and hopes he will change.

    True? Gross overgeneralization? Or just plain false?

    Speaking from my own experience(10 yrs of marriage), it is somewhat true. Not the feelings on wedding day have you but I think we all have things we absoultely love about someone, everyone has their weak points. I think deep down we hope those weak points will change, but most of the time they never do.

    I’ve learned from experience you CANNOT change anything about someone…especially if they do not wish to change it themselves.

    Poptart – I agree with you about those Bridezillas… I photograph weddings and I have on more than one occasion have been baffled on how the two of them even got to the point of even getting married.

  506. poptart says:

    Happy Birthday TXSB! :)

    What do I look for in profiles. First of all, I never make the initial contact. So, after a SD contact me, I read their profile to see why. What about me made them contact me.
    So, I suppose that initially in that first email, I want to know that you read my profile. And not just, “Hey, i think we are looking for the same thing”
    Something like, I have a 80lb lap dog too! or… Wow, my mom insists that I am cute too! Anything. Give me something to reply to. Ask me a question. Ask me two. Something that shows you’re interested in, “me”. Hook me, and reel me in. And I will try to do the same.

    So when i look at a profile, I look at stats, height, age. What kind of woman are you looking for? Young? Petite? Tall? Short? How much time are you wanting to spend with someone? A few times a week? Month? something spontaneous? Something controlled. I am looking for specifics. it is like a candy shop. You can have anything you want, so don’t settle.

  507. poptart says:

    NYGent asked ……
    Question for the married sugars, relevant to the topic: It’s been said that a man looks at his bride on his wedding day and hopes she stays the same, and a woman looks at her husband-to-be and hopes he will change.

    True? Gross overgeneralization? Or just plain false?

    IMHO – False.
    That is like the old joke – A man and woman are about to get married and both are smiling happily. The Groom turns to his best man and excitedly tells him his soon to be wife just gave him a b* (ahem) the bride turns to her Maid of Honour and whispers excitedly, I just gave my last b*.

    So.. my point… gross over generalization / false. Mostly made up by people trying to find humor in their situations.

    But I can’t help but wonder. Ever watch the show bridezilla? Why do the men even want to marry these women? Why would a man ask a woman to marry him if he knows she wants him to change everything about himself?

    Relationships, regardless of the type, are usually all a bit wonky.

    And again this is all just MHO –
    There has to be some truth in a few of the stereotypes. So, as a person who fully believes that we are each responsible for our actions and behaviors, why do we allow it to happen? (oh, and this is not exclusive to marriage) Things never spiral downhill overnight. So, why don’t we stop it?
    The first time a woman or man throws a temper tantrum or behaves poorly, why not just kick them to the curb? Why allow it to happen.

  508. photogirl says:

    Happy Birthday TXSB!!

    Thank you Sincere, but mine is tomorrow.

  509. SincereSD says:

    Happy birthday, Photogirl! I think I read somewhere that you and TXSB had a birthday around the same time?

    And happy birthday to you, TXSB.

  510. NYC SB says:

    On the bra and panties/bathingsuit debate… I agree with all of you… and I will add this… if my friends bf sees me in a bathing suit I will be at a beach where such attire is appropriate not in my living room

    Am – at least he told you right off the bat that he was married… so he fudged his profile… maybe to protect himself? I wouldn’t worry about it… at least he told you PRIOR to meeting you… unlike Mr NYSE …

    On the pot wanting to spend the night… you can email him back and say that you feel uncomfortable pursuing a intimate relationship without set boundaries in place and an arrangement. Just leave it at that and see his response… im thinking he will poof (this is the same one that you were telling us poofed right?) I am not a fan of total bluntness as you are still trying to “win” him over in becoming your SD so you need to be tactful. This at the end of the day is still somewhat of a negotiation…

    TXSB – happy bday doll!

    Snbsd – what I look forward to when reading a profile… well I check out the basic stats first (age, height, location), then I look at his what I am looking for section… basically there I see what kind of relationship he is seeking: frequency, what he is comfortable with in terms of spoiling… so words like financially supportive, travel and shopping are good… my two key words are mentoring and financially supportive. In the part about you I would like to see what makes you tick… what do you enjoy doing… maybe a hint of your humor (or lack thereof)

    What I look for when reading an email: well I want to see that he actually read my profile… so some sort of reference to it would be lovely… maybe an elaboration of what he is looking for in a sd sb relationship… deletes happen when I get the “how much” “can I see more pix” no mention of a test drive or pay per play and things of that nature

    TexaSD – friends with benefits NEVER implies exclusivity …

  511. NYGent says:

    Yes, I should have said married currently or formerly

  512. Taz says:

    He wanted me to stay a ‘sucker’ and I wanted him to become a man….live and learn 😉

  513. Taz says:

    Ummmm….hmmmm…are you talking to those of us who had bad marriages?? Lol…for my marriage – I would have to say a resounding YES! Now I have learned and will not get married again….

  514. NYGent says:

    Question for the married sugars, relevant to the topic: It’s been said that a man looks at his bride on his wedding day and hopes she stays the same, and a woman looks at her husband-to-be and hopes he will change.

    True? Gross overgeneralization? Or just plain false?

  515. Taz says:

    Morning all – boy am I tired – napping til 10pm really through me for a loop lol

  516. Anna Molly says:

    Happy Birthday TXSB :) ~ Yes, he is the poof daddy. I decided to text hima and ask him how his holiday was. Texts me back with an overnight invite…lol.

    Good morning everyone :)

    I decided to write him an email. I’ll let you know what happens.

  517. Just Dee in NC says:

    Good morning, folks.

  518. NYGent says:

    Happy birthday TXSB!

  519. The Lone Gunman says:

    Happy Birthday TXSB!

    Remember that we all end up in the same place eventually; it’s the journey there that makes it all worthwhile.


  520. Tru says:

    SDN – It’s cold here too but it always is in the UK, have a good day at work I will email you later.

    Rachel – how lucky you have sunshine, I really have to get out of the UK I want more sun :)

  521. Rachel 386002 says:

    Good morning everyone! Happy Birthday TXSB! It’s going to be warm up here in CT… a whole 60 degrees! These are the days we must steal in breaking out the cute dresses again. Sun is out, I’m smiling.

    Hope everyone has a wonderful day… I’m off to work.

    My song is still stuck in my head… LOL

  522. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Sorry to hear work is slow, hope it isn’t hurting you financially during the holidays.

    I have a meeting this morning downtown. It is rainy and cold and I wish I could stay in but this is a large company and they have bought a lot from me so off I go.

  523. Tru says:

    I’m good not really up to much its very dead this time of year for me work wise but I’m of on my travels next week so looking forward to that. What about you?

  524. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Tru you didn’t really miss anything. Important topic, glad we covered it and it should be covered again in the future. I think the problem ended up being the conversation started sometime Tuesday, got VERY detailed and by Wednesday night many were tired of it…including me.

    But enough of that…how are you doing today? Usually Irish and I are the only ones here this time of the day so I am glad to see you.

  525. Tru says:

    Hello SDN how have you been? I missed the interesting topic of conversation last night…

  526. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Hey Tru!

  527. Tru says:

    Morning all!

  528. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:


  529. Taz says:

    Working so late Yaz?? What do you do? I think I am going to try and head back to bed soon…

  530. Yaz10 says:

    Taz, I am here….Working but checking on the blog from time to time…

  531. Taz says:

    Anyone still around? I napped – and now I am not tired :( :(

  532. Yaz10 says:

    I had to come out of lurk mode to say….


    Enjoy your day!

    Good night everybody

  533. CASB says:

    Happy Birthday TXSB!!! :)

  534. TXSB says:

    Ok….to whoever is lurking…….Good Night! :)

  535. TXSB says:

    In about 10-15 minutes…



  536. TexaSD says:

    Night grandma Dee

    TXSB- you heading to bed too?

  537. Just Dee in NC says:

    That goes for me, too. Time to get some sleep before I start chauffeuring in 4 1/2 hours.

    G’night, all!

  538. TexaSD says:

    Beach- Goodnight. have fun getting your client “done”

  539. TXSB says:


  540. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    TexaSD~ all work and no play sucks! lol… But for now, I have too. You do what you have too, since I don’t have a SD… And if I find one, I can always quit the 2 little jobs… it’s not a problem!

    Dee ~ congrats on the second Grand baby!

    Ok off to bed sugars, need to get up in 4 hours!

  541. TexaSD says:

    Dee- well cool, 2 kids and a bit older than me, not bad, hope all is well with her

    Beach- gosh that blows, thats a lot of work, but as my dad said, all work and no play makes a lot of Jack. I do feel for you though,

  542. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    TexaSD~ that is only tomorrow, Friday I work from 8 am until late ,,,, all 3 jobs! My next day off is Christmas day! so…. When will I have time to meet my perfect SD???
    We do what we have too right?

  543. TXSB says:

    LOL @ comment about sending to room w/o dinner. :)

  544. Just Dee in NC says:

    TexaSD, my daughter is a bit older than you, married 5 1/2 years, has a 3-year-old son who is the light of my life, and is expecting a daughter in just 8 weeks and 4 days. :-)

  545. TexaSD says:

    Beach- Did a client lmao…. hair, reminds me I need a haircut lol… Clerical Job that blows huh? Ya i think maybe you are working to hard lol

  546. TexaSD says:

    Dee- lol, I had a flat the other day too, I had to buy another tire though, except I hate having uneven tires, so I ended up buying all 4. (tires are like shoes for your car lol, I usually go all out for tires) Ruby tuesday, never ate there, how is the food? how old is your daughter,(didn’t know you had one) don’t worry, i don’t call my mom that much lol.

    Beach- Sure the punch thing had sparked my interest

  547. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    The punch lmao…. That was for Stephan…. Still laughing about it….

    TexaSD~ you can send email?
    My day, got up early and I did a client… get your minds out of the gutter, I’m a Hairstylist. Got home around 11:30 am had lunch , started my other job at 3pm, stupid clerical job… worked until 8 pm, got home made dinner…
    Tomorrow I have to get up at 6:30 am , the window people said they would be here at 8 am. Then i work from 10 am until 11pm tomorrow night….
    life is so hard…. lmao :)

  548. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    JD~ I agree . With email now, it’s easier! just a little note you know, or a text!
    God I miss that… I need me a SD…

    TexaSD~ you wanna know about my day? 😛

  549. Just Dee in NC says:

    My day, TexaSD? I got a flat early Tuesday morning, so Wednesday had to get the tire replaced. Had lunch with my daughter at Ruby Tuesday’s, and it’s such a treat to have time for just the 2 of us. And hung out on the blog when I was at home. Fascinating, eh?

    And don’t call me 40 times a day either – I’m old enough to be your mother, and I’ll send you to your room without any dinner.

  550. TexaSD says:

    Beach- I can’t even remember to call my friends that much lol.. what punch?

  551. Just Dee in NC says:

    Beach, it’s nice when those calls come once in a while. It’s a thoughtful gesture that tells me he’s thinking about me. But I don’t want someone to call every day, because I don’t want to get to the point where I EXPECT him to call.

    And by the same token, I don’t want to intrude on his business day or personal time to the point where I become an annoyance. Busy, or have people around and can’t talk? Okay, “Hey, I have people in my office and need to get back with you later today” will prompt me to say goodbye and my feelings won’t even get hurt.

  552. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    TexaSD~ at least you don’t call me 40 times a day lmao… joking!

    I’m frisky shouldn’t be on the blog lol, I’ll get in trouble… lol

    Still thinking about the punch lmao….

  553. TexaSD says:

    Beach- ya, thats pretty much what I do now with all of you, Sometimes its cool hearing what your days are like as compared to mine, always a great learning exp for me lol

  554. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    oh TexaSD I read your question wrong lol,
    If I had a SD, I would like him to ask what did you do today or how was your day ,…. like a Friend would…. you know Friends with benefits! 😀

  555. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    J D~ If he is asking what i’m doing all the time, Hey a-hole i’m working or doing something don’t bother me you know. My last SD was good about that, He sent me emails saying good morning once in a while or good night. But he didn’t become over bearing.

    TexaSD~ i think that is something that you should ask, I will definitely make it clear not to call me 40 times a day… I will say he can mail or text but don’t think you own me because i’m your SB… not sure if that is coming out right lol, i’m so tired!

  556. TexaSD says:

    Cleo thanks lol

    Beach- ya i am not a big fan of the “checking in” but I might ask those questions, not to interrogate, but out of curiousity, or trying to seem like I care what they are doing I guess, (does that make sense)?

  557. Just Dee in NC says:

    Beach: Boy, you got that right! If he (whoever) wants to call me every day to say “Good morning” – fine, but say it and hang up. If he needs to talk about something in particular, that’s fine too – so talk! But if he has nothing to say, don’t bother me.

    Constant phone calls make me feel smothered, and doubly so when the calls are those “i don’t have anything to say” so they sit there and breathe.

  558. TXSB says:

    Beach_girl & Cleo:
    Thank you!! :)


    Just like Cleo, I also can’t even imagine having a 2nd SD. My SD keeps me very happy in every way I need to be happy…lol….no need for another one.

  559. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    TexaSD~ For me NSA means that there are not the usual string of a regular relationship. Expecting to call every day, what your doing, where your going, with whom… you know? I mean for me an arrangement is like friends with benefits… Friends and chemistry… but don’t call me 40 times a day to say hi, what you doing? No thanks…
    Just me!

  560. cleo says:

    TXSB: happy birthday!
    TexaSD: i’m with you on this one. can’t imagine having more than one SD and have a hard time imagining having an SD and a boyfriend. think if i had a man i’d hide my profile…

    (might still visit y’all though)

  561. TXSB says:

    Good night! :)


    Flo Rida:
    Thank you! :) I will pass on your email to Midwest and RealisticSD. Good night! :)

  562. TexaSD says:

    Midwest- Well goodnight, and good luck trying to get off to dreamworld.

  563. Just Dee in NC says:

    You’d be surprised at how many SD profiles say they want a traditional SD/SB, no strings relationship. If they mean they want a woman who won’t expect a ring and a wedding date, and they expect that either can walk away at any time, I can see where they would consider that “no strings.” But I agree with you, TexaSD – any time you have a give-and-take, you create strings of one type or another.

  564. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- ya, I really sometimes think when I see that, that maybe I am not what they are looking for, as I probably don’t make enough money to do all that for them without taking a hit in my own life. Maybe I am not rich enough for a SB lol

  565. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    TXSB~Happy Birthday to you
    Happy Birthday to you
    Happy Birthday Dear TXSB, Happy birthday to you….
    Count yourself lucky you didn’t have to hear me sing!!! lol

    Hi Everyone

  566. TexaSD says:

    Ya I guess thats where people make mistakes with each other… When I see NSA in some profiles, I usually skip over it, I always interpret it as pay for play,

  567. Midwest SB says:

    Flo Rida – Hi / Bye / Thanks!

    Cleo and TexasSD – *sighs* I do remember those days…never lose hope.

    I think I’m going to take another college try at sleep now that I have something sweet to dream about.


  568. TXSB says:

    I couldn’t have said it better (re: life partner). :)


    I was looking for a flat montly allowance.

    Was I hoping that the SD would sometimes “spoil” me by buying me random gifts or taking me to trips? Yes.

    Do I ever expect my SD to buy me or give me anything beyond my allowance? No

    Yet my SD does spoil me by giving me plenty of “extras” and I’m truly grateful for it all. Personally, I also don’t like hearing women say “oh I want to be spoiled”……..I’d think it would be better if they were more specific…ie. do they want to travel to exotic places? Do they want designer shoes/handbags? Do they want to go to ultra expensive restaurants?

    I’m all about details and specifics….lol…….*IF* I were a man….seeing a woman write that she wants to be spoiled without more details would make me think that she doesn’t know what she wants.

  569. TexaSD says:

    NSA to me isn’t a sugar relationship, because a sugar relationship has strings- its called booty and allowance (basic terms here) the whole relationship is based on a few strings…

  570. Just Dee in NC says:

    TexaSD, you’ve just brought up another point – we all use the same words, but we don’t all have the same meanings attached to those words. For some women, a monthly allowance IS being spoiled. For other women, they want the allowance and the Jimmy Choos and the Neiman-Marcus trips and the cruises, etc. etc. etc.

    One man emailed me and said that he would keep spending money in my pocket. Well…..what does that mean? His idea of spending money could be enough money for a tank of gas and a cup of coffee, or it could mean enough money that I won’t have to start panicking if I still haven’t found a job after the holidays. Haven’t been able to pin him down, but he’s out of the country anyway and we wouldn’t be able to meet for another couple of months.

    Same with “no strings attached.” For some people (of either gender), “no strings” means non-exclusive, non-monogamous, no questions asked, no questions answered. Other people are at the far opposite end of the spectrum, and when they say “no strings,” they simply mean they don’t want to marry you, they don’t want to change your life/marital status or theirs, but they DO expect a certain level of commitment, honesty, and exclusivity of sexual favors.

    So SNBSd, be sure you think about what you mean when you talk about what you want in a SB/SD relationship.

  571. Flo Rida says:

    RealisticSD – I can give you some advice about a SD who got caught & how he handled it – TX has my email (as not sure I want to broadcast info) if you are interested – no worries if you are not.

    MidwestSB – actually Gemi wrote most of it herself :-) but if you want my help (I’ve now written two full profiles and one half profile – sad) just email me and we’ll start the ball rolling.

    TX-SB – sweet dreams to the sweet hearted. Happy b-day

    Hi to everyone – Cold tonight! Going to bed.

  572. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- Well hmm, ok no moving in, I like am used to space lol, but I guess, more like friends with benefits, but I don’t want her dating anyone else, or sleeping. (I like that to be exclusive, if she thinks she might want to date someone, well then the relationship for me is over. (I don’t like to risk my self, anymore than I have to, if you know what i mean on that front.) I don’t need a daily report of what she does or anything like that, just more like friends(which is what I thought a marriage is supposed to be like) So maybe I am not making sense sorry, guess i can’t explain it

  573. cleo says:

    TexaSD: yeah it was such a positive experience for me also. he would give me back rubs while i did the dishes. we would ignore each other and read until someone’s hand wandered and then we were off.

    was so easy and honest…

    window shopping is the best, don’t have to change my clothes/shoes ;>

  574. TXSB says:

    TexaSD says:
    Well, since we are on a marriage issue, one of the reasons I want a SB, is to have a marriage type relationship, without the marriage part

    Can you explain a bit more please? Will your SB move in with you? If not then how often do you expect to see your SB? I’m asking b/c to me, “marriage type relationship” means living together without being legally married.

  575. TexaSD says:

    Cleo- ya I like the friends with benefits, I like sometimes after have morning sex, just to go hang out I guess, The single mom from San Antonio was like that, we wake up, role out of bed, shower, and just head out, I remember the first time I went to the Galleria in Houston it was with her. we didn’t spend to much, just had a good time wandering around, I think we even went to the aquarium there too, which wasn’t so bad…

  576. TXSB says:

    I forgot to add….regarding how “blunt” you should be. I’m very blunt IRL and don’t “sugar coat” things. RealisticSD (ie. my SD) is also pretty blunt/up front. Him and I were both 100% honest with each other from day 1. That way, if either one of us didn’t like what the other offered…then there was no point in moving forward.

    This isn’t IRL dating where they’re a “honeymoon” period. At the end of the day this is an “arrangement”…..and IMO all the “cards” should be laid out from day 1. So if a pot SB doesn’t like what she hears/sees….she can just say so and not waste her time or yours.

  577. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- ya I don’t know why, but when a SB writes the expect to be spoiled, that always makes me feel twice, I sometimes have a hard time remember to do things I have to do, let alone remember things to do for someone else… And to be honest, I don’t know how I feel about that, I think allowance is much better in my opinion. Let the decide what they are going to spend it on. I don’t mind doing a gift here and there, but your right, I don’t need to flaunt my wealth.

  578. TXSB says:

    Well, some men have specific things they’re looking for in a SB physically….for example, a SB who’s tall or really petite. If you’re looking for any specific traits in a SB physically that’s a “must have” for you…write that. Do you want someone local or are you open to LDR?

    Approx. how often do you want to see a SB? For example, if you already know that you want to see someone at least 2x/week…go ahead and write that. Do you want a SB who can travel with you to different places? Or will this be a arrangement where you two are mostly “hanging out locally” (ie. dinners, shows, museums etc.).

    Many SD’s talk about how they want to spoil a SB…which is great. But personally, I was more interested in reading that they gave some thought to the actual arrangement rather than talking about how much they want to take someone shopping and to exotic trips etc. IMO real SDs don’t need to flaunt their wealth.

    If I think of anything else I will let you know. And btw, *IF* you’re ever comfortable enough to share your profile just for advice…

  579. cleo says:

    midwest i think the same thing you do on that one

  580. Midwest SB says:

    TXSB – I also like your take on a life partner. It’s nice to be in wedded bliss, but when that passes and life takes over the partner wins again and again.

  581. Just Dee in NC says:

    LOL, Cleo! I’ll have to remember that one.

  582. Midwest SB says:

    TexasSD – I hope someday your marraige will be like a sugar relationship, BUT I don’t know that I would count a sugar relationship as a point of reference. You’ve seen the challenges of the married sds (and maybe some of your friends). From what I’ve heard, you may not leave the sugar world once you get your first good sb.

  583. cleo says:

    TexaSD: that’s what my friends with benefits was like. we skipped it all and went straight to early married sex. about the cheating thing, i know couples i believe never cheated and they have fairly elementary things in common not the least of which is an inherent fascination the one with the other.
    JustDee: “reading”

  584. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- Dinner was fine, My friends little brother turned 21, and we had it at another friends bar out in Round Rock. 2 of my friends didn’t leave alone, Then I found out some of my friends from high school got divorced and are dating each other, weird… Plus it feels like I am the only 1 who didn’t gain any weight, they said I still have the body of a 16 year old…

  585. Just Dee in NC says:

    Oh, and if you ask me what I like in bed, I’m going to tell you: “An electric blanket.”

  586. TexaSD says:

    Well, since we are on a marriage issue, one of the reasons I want a SB, is to have a marriage type relationship, without the marriage part lol (if that makes any sense to anyone here) . If and when I get married, I don’t want to cheat, (so I figure get it out of my system now) well, I dunno, if I am not making any sense let me know lol, maybe its late, and I have had a few…

  587. Midwest SB says:

    Just Dee – Those are great replies!!! I always think of the really good stuff after I hit “send”.

  588. cleo says:

    snbsd: tell you what, email me through the site and i’ll give you a private profile edit… suits?

  589. TXSB says:

    Thank you! :) Regarding marriage…I do believe most women have a fantasy in their mind of this “husband”, and are in for a shock when they realize that it’s not reality. For me….I want a life partner who will be my friend, and who will be a good father to my children.


    Hope your dinner was good. My bday thursday (today) and Photo’s is Friday.

  590. snbsd says:

    So TX,

    Can you give me an example of a line that you think might seem appropriate that would tell you what a POTSD was “looking for” in a relationship? How blunt or up front (Honest?) might someone be and be appropriate?

  591. Midwest SB says:

    Hi TexasSD & Taz!

    snbsd – We all have fussed about the lack of returned e-mails. You do have a distinct advantage in that there are more sbs than sds. Just heed the advice of the gentlemen on the blog as they have already sifted through some of the drama queens, wanna bes, etc. If you find someone interesting in the general location of one of the sds they tend to be happy to share what they know off the blog.

  592. Just Dee in NC says:

    SNB, one of the things I look for is something that tells me you actually read my profile and thought about it for more than 30 seconds. Something else I want to see is something that tells me about your personality, and I don’t mean in sentences like “I am smart and funny and I have a PhD in rocket science.”

    Let me give you an example. I happen to be a bit of a smart-ass. I received an email from a man who listed some of his favorable characteristics, and he ended the sentence with “…and a partridge in a pear tree.” Ding ding! A man with a sense of humor! I can work with this! So I sent back a note that answered the questions he had asked (questions are good), made a couple of observations about his own profile, and then ended with something like, “Have you ever tried to get 12 leaping lords to stop chasing the milk maids long enough to shovel the poop that accumulates from all those blasted birds?”

    His next response to me had something in it that again referenced the song, and this time I responded with, “Look, sweetheart, this 12 days thing is nice and I love the gold rings, but if you don’t get these birds and their mess out of the house, you’re going to be eating fricaseed french hen until Easter.”

    Not everyone has a sense of humor, unfortunately, but I certainly enjoy the ones who do!

    I’ve also been known to throw oddball questions back to men in emails, in an effort to shake them loose and get some kind of personality out of them.

    So there you go. Don’t just send me a list of your personality traits or your likes/dislikes: SHOW me your personality through your choice of words and the topics you bring up. Show me that you read my profile and have given some thought to what it was about the profile that interests you. Ask me a question or two, and let me see that you want to know me as a PERSON and not just as a potential sex partner.

  593. snbsd says:

    Thanks Taz and Cleo!

    Taz- Just click the little box and tell us all about you…. where do I sign up? :)

    Cleo – what if the photo is obscured? Mine is as I am concerned about someone seeing me. Yes I am married and it wouldn’t go over that well (Hopefully I wouldn’t get whacked with a nine iron at 2:30 AM, but better safe than sorry don’t you think?) 😉

  594. TXSB says:

    When I visited SD profiles, one thing I would look for is basic grammar. I can’t tell you how many profiles I read where the man was supposedly a “lawyer”, or a “CEO” etc….and yet the profile had so many grammar and spelling mistakes that it looked like it was written by a 14 year old! I don’t expect it to be perfect….but the profile should look like it was written by a educated adult.

    As for information, I would look for basics in hobbies/activities he enjoys…such as concerts, museums, sports etc….what he likes to do with his free time. And at the bottom….I looked for what he’s looking for in a SB…as in what type of arrangement. I hated profiles that said “let’s discuss” or stupid one liners like that. I looked for details that showed me that he actually thought about this.

    I didn’t like profiles that were so “casual” that it looked like a college student wrote it looking for a “date”….on the flip side, some profiles are so formal that it looks like a college professor wrote it. Just something in between that showed me that the man is educated, is capable of communicating (ie. write what activities he enjoys…maybe a little about his background without revealing too much etc)….and also a clear description of what he’s looking for in SB to show me that he knows what this site is about and what’s expected of him as a SD.

  595. snbsd says:

    Thank you MidwestSB! That is helpful. Being new here I’m still finding my way, and I only emailed one person that I was curious about and she didn’t email back. I’m guessing that happens pretty often in general.

  596. TexaSD says:

    Taz- Hi, how you been?

  597. cleo says:

    snbsd: i tend to know that men are often not so good at talking about themselves so i look for various things. if the email is okay but the picture is hot. if the email is amazing but the profile is brief. if the profile is great and the email is okay… it’s kind of a sliding scale depending on a lot of things including my state of whimsy at that moment.

    if you don’t have a picture you need a better profile than if you do.

    your email should indicate that you have read my profile, mention something you like about me/it other than how hot my whatever is and ask me something. not too long but more than a sentence (although i often answer ones that are a sentence long.)

  598. Taz says:

    Good evening TexaSD :)

  599. Taz says:

    SNBSD – for me honesty and respect are key – most important is truthful (how else can you expect to have a quality arrangement?)…and to have even a LITTLE content is nice – although I am realizing some of the greatest pots I spoke to (didn’t work out b/c of distance..story of my sugar life **pouts** even though I would LOVE to travel) had almost NOTHING in their profiles – which is a shame. I am not good about writing about myself either – makes me wish they had an option to answer a bunch of questions rather than write an essay 😛

  600. Midwest SB says:

    snbsd – The profiles that I find intriguing are the ones that show you understand the nature of the sb/sd relationship (Mutually beneficial, no suggestions of pay for play, no test drives, etc) and that share some specific personal activities that you enjoy. I have overlooked short profiles when I get an e-mail that is genuinely complimentary, mentions something I put in my profile and he states what he thinks would be a common interest.

  601. TexaSD says:

    Ok I am back, TXSB, your bday is tomorrow right, and then after that is Photo’s?

  602. Taz says:

    Rachel – after reading a few of your posts and a few others I had that song stuck in my head “All I want for Christmas…” too funny right after that it was right there!…as far as the bra/bathing suit debate – I have to agree – bras and panties are a bit different (at least in a woman’s mind I think lol)…

    Realistic – I know from experience – an ex of mine that did not trust me and confessed he put a key logger on my comp when we first met (nice huh??? So much for trust and honesty from the get-go **shakes head**) Anyhow – my point is – key loggers are VERY easy to access (a lot for FREE online!) and install…so be careful…and make sure you are using protection lol not the way most of this blog has been going today kind of protection – but I do think a really good antivirus software would catch most…and to ease your mind you could always bring it in and have it checked :) I agree with Dee (and did not know about that site at all!) but also with counseling – if YOU go yourself where she was unwilling to – if shit DOES in fact one day hit the fan – you have that to back YOU up saying that YOU were willing to give it every effort…JMHO after going through a divorce and custody myself.

    Anna – I would simply tell him that without an existing arrangement you would not feel right about spending the night. On second thought – just saw NYGent’s post – and that is a fabulous idea!

    TXSB – I echo your thoughts on marriage and love…you are a bit younger than me – consider yourself lucky you have figured it out at this point!…and happy birthday :)

    SNBSD – great name :) not sure if I said so yet – so welcome :) (and YES all the best sb’s are on the blog 😉 )

  603. TXSB says:

    So what’re your holiday plans? We’ve been talking about lots of travelling here on the blog lately b/t the 2 “meet ups” and other random travelling. Do you have any travel plans anytime soon?

  604. snbsd says:

    So Ladies,

    Let me ask you a question. I can write, but I am not used to writing about myself, nor really used to “selling” myself through a profile. What are you looking for when you get an email saying hello from a POTSD that makes you want to either write back or ignore it? And I am guessing you go to their profile. What do you look for there? Just curious. (I have a yearning for learning!) THX

  605. Just Dee in NC says:

    SNBSD, what else could you ask for? Why, a perfectly lovely SB, of course. And we have quite an assortment for your perusal. 😉

  606. TXSB says:

    Thank you!! :)


    Ah…I was wondering what it stood for…..although I must say when typing, I mix up you and SDN for some reason. LOL…..my bday is on the 3rd (20 more minutes to go in Texas but I guess it’s already midnight in other parts). :) No cake….just dinner plans.

  607. cleo says:

    snb: that’s funny, i feel the same way… only i’m a sb

  608. snbsd says:

    Good day – work was invigorating, bills are paid, and I am going to Vegas this weekend. What more could I ask for?

    Birthday Texas? Hope it was a good one! Did you get a cake?

  609. Midwest SB says:

    It’s a good icebreaker! You could be here for many reasons. Care to share?

  610. stephan says:

    Happy Birthday TXSB!!! :)

  611. snbsd says:

    The SD part was also for San Diego where I reside. Of course, Sugar Daddy also applies. :)

  612. snbsd says:

    So someone asked yesterday what SNB stood for. Stable N Bored. Kinda describes life right now. I guess that’s why I’m here, huh?

  613. Midwest SB says:

    Hi snbsd! You have some of us wondering what the snd stands for.

  614. TXSB says:

    LOL….thank you!!! :)


    I envy you. Mine are needy. *sigh*


    Yep. How was your day?

  615. TXSB says:

    Hey Midwest, snb!! :)

    Thanks! :) LOL….30 more minutes here until midnight….I know my parents are going to call so no point in even trying to sleep :)

  616. Midwest SB says:

    TXSB – Yeah! it’s officially your birthday!!!
    “This is your birthday song
    It isn’t very long”

    (That’s it)

  617. snbsd says:

    Hi Cleo
    Hi TX! Another busy evening?

  618. Just Dee in NC says:

    TX!! Happy birthday!

  619. cleo says:

    snbsd: some people catch up, some people skip. i say hi and then catch up

    hi :)

  620. cleo says:

    Hi Midwest

    Txsb mine are what’s called “cat’s cats” they play and fight with each other, hang out alone a lot and otherwise come for some but not too much attention. they’re lovely and affectionate but not hmm… not… needy.

  621. snbsd says:

    Evening Sugarworld. A lot of posts since I left last night!

  622. Midwest SB says:

    Curses! Can’t sleep and nothing to snuggle up to :-(

  623. TXSB says:

    That’s great to hear about your business! Not much w/ me….looking forward to bday dinner tomorrow night w/ SD…..I hearts the cats sneezing a few times today so that concerns me.

    Your cats leave you alone? Mine follow me room to room….if I don’t kick them out, they even follow me in the bathroom!

  624. cleo says:

    TXSB: i’m pretty good actually, life is perking up slightly business wise and i think i have some good ideas… otherwise nothing new. you?

    neither of my cats are in here…

  625. TXSB says:

    I think I scared everyone….*sniffs self* I didn’t think I smelled THAT bad. *pout*

    I’m good Cleo…it’s frigging COLD here…..1 cat is napping in my lap. How’re you tonight?

  626. cleo says:

    i see i missed most of you…

    how are you dee and txsb?

  627. Just Dee in NC says:

    Hi, Cleo!

  628. TXSB says:

    Hi!! :)

  629. cleo says:

    good evening sugars!

  630. NYGent says:

    AM: the guy may not have bad intentions, just wrong intentions from your standpoint. I think a lot of otherwise well meaning SDs start out not realizing how important the arrangement is to the SB and how anathema the test drive concept is. They just need to be set right, which requires a convo (whether in person, preferably, or by email, next best). If after that they say this is not for them, then so be it. Most people do not willingly surrender power if not forced to, and an SD agreeing to an arrangement before intimacy is, to some extent, a surrender of power, at least temporarily, but it has to be done.

  631. TXSB says:

    This NYC pot is not the same pot that “poofed” earlier right? I think you mentioned it yesterday……Is this a totally different guy?

  632. RealisticSD says:

    Just Dee said, “If you can’t discuss these issues with someone, you shouldn’t be intimate with them, period.” Just Dee is right. I have been in situations where the communication with an SB was sub-optimal, and I chose not to get intimate with them because I knew we didn’t have the right comfort level. It is hard to tell a young, attractive woman you don’t want to sleep with her though. Maybe for women it’s easier.

  633. TXSB says:

    Just Dee in NC says:
    But Anna, being uncomfortable to discuss the issue with him could mean that he’s the wrong SD for you, OR that you’re not comfortable with the SD/SB arrangement and maybe shouldn’t try to pursue it. It’s no different than the issues of condoms, STDs, pregnancy, and everything else we talk about. If you can’t discuss these issues with someone, you shouldn’t be intimate with them, period.

    I agree with every single word you wrote Dee.

  634. NYGent says:

    AM: then why not meet him Tuesday for lunch or late afternoon coffee and thrash out the situation in person with him. I always find it easier to discuss the situation when one can look the other in the eye and say, “So . . . what’s next?”

  635. Anna Molly says:

    NYGent ~ Yes some are, I wish I could, trust me.

  636. NYGent says:

    AM: thought some of you were staying over and sharing a hotel. Whatever.

  637. Anna Molly says:

    Realistic ~ I think counseling is a good idea.

  638. RealisticSD says:

    Yup, I’ve got a LOOOOOONG time to go. Unless they can skip a dozen grades at once, that is.

  639. Just Dee in NC says:

    Anna Molly, I would be that blunt, but that’s my personality. If you’re uncomfortable being that blunt, then try NY Gent’s most excellent idea.

    What can I say? I flunked Tact for Transplants 101 when I moved to North Carolina 20+ years ago.

    But Anna, being uncomfortable to discuss the issue with him could mean that he’s the wrong SD for you, OR that you’re not comfortable with the SD/SB arrangement and maybe shouldn’t try to pursue it. It’s no different than the issues of condoms, STDs, pregnancy, and everything else we talk about. If you can’t discuss these issues with someone, you shouldn’t be intimate with them, period.

  640. Anna Molly says:

    NYGent ~ That would be perfect, but I won’t be able to stay over on Tues. I have a Dr. appointment the next morning…ugh.

  641. Just Dee in NC says:

    Realistic, unless your kids are seniors in high school, you’ve got a LONG TIME until they’re 18. A counselor can help you retain your sanity during those years.

  642. NYGent says:

    Anna Molly: why not tell him you’re not available thursday but you will be in the city to see friends Tuesday night and you’re staying over and would like to see him for breakfast or lunch wednesday at which point you hope the two of you can discuss more specifically what kind of arrangement you will have going forward.

  643. Anna Molly says:

    Should I be that blunt about it?

  644. TXSB says:

    I’ve had male friends who I know cheated on their wives…I’ve been cheated on before by ex-BFs. I think I’ve become jaded about marriage. Yet, I do want a husband someday b/c I want children…and I believe kids need both the mom and dad there (plus due to my cultural background, me having biological children out of wedlock is absolutely out of the question).

    I don’t believe in the whole “falling in love” thing anymore. I want to marry someone who’s compatible. I want someone who will become a great friend. Who will make a good husband by providing for me and the children. Who will be a good father to my children and always be there for them. I’m looking for more of a “life partner” in a man who will bear the title “husband”. If he chooses to cheat on me….it will defiantely hurt me….BUT as long as he plays the role of “husband” and is a good father…..I won’t leave him.

  645. RealisticSD says:

    Just Dee, I do appreciate the advice and insight. I never gave solo counseling much thought, but it’s a good idea.

  646. RealisticSD says:

    Anna Molly, I ditto Just Dee in NC.

  647. Just Dee in NC says:

    That’s exactly what you tell him, Anna Molly – that you’re looking for a mutually beneficial arrangement, and without an arrangement in place there will be no overnights and no physical intimacy.

  648. Anna Molly says:

    Thanks for the input everyone :)

    One more thing and this is concerning my NYC pot. He wants me to come to the city next Thursday and spend the night. I’m not going to do that without an arrangement in place. What should I do? What should I say to him? We’ve had two dates and he hasn’t brought up an arrangement. How do I approach him with this? I’ve never gotten this far before and I’m very nervous….eeek!

  649. Just Dee in NC says:

    Realistic, if you go to Kim Komando’s web site, she has a program available that you can run to find out if a keylogger has been installed on your computer. I don’t know what this program is called or even where on her site to find it, but she mentioned it specifically on one of her Saturday radio shows.

    Your wife might be suspicious or she might just be paranoid. One of her friends may have confided that her own husband could be cheating and that has gotten your wife wondering. Or your wife may simply have wanted to use Tiger to make the point that she isn’t going to be the one to lose her seat on the gravy train should you decide to share yourself.

    The one piece of advice that I would give you, one that I’ve heard over and over through the years, is this: If your wife won’t go to marriage counseling, then you go alone. You can’t change her, and without her willing cooperation you can’t change your marriage. But counseling will help you learn to deal with her and react to her in more productive ways. I

  650. TXSB says:

    RealisticSD says:
    And for the past two months, I have not had to do any searching either :)

    Awwwww…… *HUG* :)

  651. RealisticSD says:

    I always wonder if my SBs will be super-paranoid when they’re married, always on top of the money trail and knowing every trick in the book of deceiving wives.

  652. RealisticSD says:

    OK, a serious question–has anyone had a wife find out about an SB?

    My wife’s lecture tonight was kind of pointed and made me wonder if she suspects something. I have been extra careful not to leave any hints and to go about things exactly as before, as change is always the best give-away that there is an affair. It suddenly makes me paranoid about key-loggers, GPS trackers, checking credit reports for secret credit cards, etc.

  653. RealisticSD says:

    I guess it never crossed my mind not to put married. Anyways, my profile has been hidden for a long long time, so I would do the searching and not have to worry about whether I’d show up in searches. And for the past two months, I have not had to do any searching either :)

  654. TXSB says:

    LOL @ sun lamps! :)


    Personally, I would be concerned enough to not consider him as a pot. I had one pot contact me during my search….his profile said “separated”. But once we started talking….it was pretty clear that he was still married (his limited schedule availability due to living with his wife was a major giveway among other things). He may have a “valid reason” for choosing “divorced”(ie. so he can show up on more searches)…..but it’s still a lie if he’s married. And personally, I wouldn’t be comfortable with a lie that big (no matter what a good excuse he can give me for it).

  655. RealisticSD says:

    Anna Molly, I’d ask him why the discrepancy in terms of being married or divorced. He may have a complicated answer that you’d find satisfying. I don’t see the point of obvious lies.

  656. cake patty says:

    Anna Molly- I was contacted by a man whose profile said separated and when I met him he said he was happily married and his wife knew about his SBs. I did not ask him why his profile said separated but I assumed it was because, as someone else said, he shows up in more searches and would not turn off the SBs that do not want to be with a married man. So in essence he was lying in his profile but honest in real life but it still bothered me. I sort of made it clear at the get go that I wasn’t bothered by being with a married SD. But I wonder if he was contacted by an SB that was bothered by it- if he would then lie.

    These days I kind of assume most of them ARE married or at the very least have another SB or girlfriend as well. Of course there are ways to find out should you want to put that much effort into it.

  657. Rachel 386002 says:

    People are dropping out early tonight. Good night to all those who have left us for the evening.

  658. Rachel 386002 says:

    Anna Molly… I’d be concerned… that spells out drama to me…. OR… I’ll teach you one of my words…. BRAMA…. Brama is BIG DRAMA… drop the I G D = brama.

    There is something lurking there. He’s probably lying on his profile so women will contact him. Ask him about the discrepancy

  659. Just Dee in NC says:

    Anna Molly, my guess is that his profile says divorced so he’ll show up in more searches. He did tell you right up front.

    Frankly, I always assume that a man is married, no matter what he says, until there is verifiable proof otherwise.

  660. Midwest SB says:

    Almost gone…

    AM – could he be separated? Do you feel comfortable asking him to clarify?


  661. EasternSureBaby says:

    Good night SB/SD.. time to dream of the life I shoud be living! HA!! Hope you all have a wonderful evening!!

  662. Anna Molly says:

    Should it be a red flag at all?

  663. CharKenya says:

    Have you ever been cheated on? Is being ‘cheated on’ less of a risk for you in Sugarland? Why or why not?

    No I have never been cheated on..in fact, I’ve only had 1 boyfriend in my whole life im only 20. In the “sugar land” I don’t think id be cheated on because…my sugar daddy wouldn’t be my boyfriend..if he was than thats’ another story >.<

  664. Anna Molly says:

    Anyway, my question is this, how concerned should I be? How big of a red flag is this?

  665. Rachel 386002 says:


  666. Midwest SB says:

    Rachel – LOL!!! Great song!

    I’m off too! Tonight’s excitement has worn me out early.

    Sugar dreams!

  667. Anna Molly says:

    I have a question. I received an email from a guy today who seemed very interested, but one thing bothers me. In his email he said he was married, but his profile says divorced….hmmmmm.

  668. TexaSD says:

    Ok Sugars, I have to head out for a bit, my friends birthday dinner lol… take care, If none of you are online when I am back

  669. Rachel 386002 says:

    Maybe she rigged the house with Sun lamps and was trying to catch a tan! LOL! TXSB I agree!

  670. TXSB says:

    Hi Midwest! :)


    I 2nd Midwest. It’s not necessarily about the amount of skin…but about respect. If girlA has her “man” over…..no reason for girlB to lounge around inside the apartment in a bra/panty…OR in a swimsuit. :)

  671. Rachel 386002 says:

    ahhhhhh ha! TexaSD making a valid point. This may be just how I am, but…. I feel like I’m wearing underwear when I’m wearing underwear and a bikini when in a bikini. it’s a different frame of mind for me. Bikini feels like clothing to me (in my mind). Underwear is more of a personal thing.

    hard to explain, but that’s the best I can do. :) Any other ladies feel that way?

    Pics… hmmm…. my roommate’s boyfriend is downstairs… let me ask him to take a couple…. LOLOL… KIDDING!

    **Midwest – we both are wishing for the same 😉 here’s a lil song for ya:
    *singing* “All I wants for Christmas is a nice SD, a sweet SD, a fun SD. All I want for Christmas is a great SD… So I can wish him Merry Christmas” (but why are chipmunks singing it? Should be a collage of SB)

    * EasternSure…. It is a wonderful tradition and GIFT. I took my box when I moved out. Didn’t look at it till xmas, opening that box and putting it out for the first time was a rush of memories. I’m glad people do this!

  672. Midwest SB says:

    Rachel – come join us for perogis! We have cheese, potato and cabbage usually. There’s usually a contest among the men to see who can eat the most! Then the immediate family meets for Christmas breakfast with sauteed perogis, sausage gravy w/biscuits and eggs.

    Bummer about the married bf…he did show you what SDs are NOT like. The gentlemen on the blog are full of valuable information.

    Welcome Second Timer.

  673. TexaSD says:

    Rachel- See, now i might want to know this, 1 you have any pics lol… but really, if you won’t walk around like that when he is around, would you let him see you wear a bikini?

  674. EasternSureBaby says:

    Rachel, my parents give my kids an ornament every year for Christmas. I have a box for each child for their ornament. When they get married, or move out, they will take their box with them, but Mom says she will continue to buy them ornaments. I think it’s great and plan on doing that with my grandkids some day… way off in the future of course! 😉

  675. Rachel 386002 says:

    The roommate thing…. I walk around in my undies… so does my roommate (tank and bottoms). However, I would NEVER do that with her boyfriend or ANYONE in the house. It is most definitely a matter of respect. the roommate probably has low self esteem issues and was trying to validate herself in some weird way.

  676. EasternSureBaby says:

    MIdwest: This is my first time seeing you here. Where are you from (roughly)? Have you done the sb/sd relationship in the past? I’ve been on the blog for a while, and on SA for the past few months. Hoping for a SD for Christmas

    I’ve been on SA for a few months, been reading but started posting this week. I had a LTR, 10 years, with a married man. What I got out of it was “I’ll call you wen I call you” & “You’ll see me when I can make it” I finaly got sick of the BS, and told him where to go. I have been struggling finacially the whole time we were seeing each other, and he never once even tried to help me. I admit it was my fault for putting up with him for as long as I did. I was hopelessly in love with him. Learned my lesson. If I’m going to go through that again, I’m getting something out of it. I’m almost single, 2 more months, so if my SD turns out to be more, that will be wonderful, but if not, I’m good with that too… I too am hoping for a SD for Christmas. 😉

  677. cake patty says:

    Tiger Woods wife will be crying all the way to the bank. That is one of the reasons the SB/SD relationship is good for both parties involved. The allowance certainly helps with any feelings of resentment an SB may have that she will most likely not wind up with her sugar daddy

  678. Rachel 386002 says:

    Midwest – I LOOOOOOOOVE perogis! When I was younger I dated a guy from poland…. his family made all these amazing dishes! My fav was the perogis though.

    My first time cooking them was hilarious…. I like spices so… I put a lil oil in a pan, sprinkled garlic salt and Mrs Dash over the cheese and potato perogis and YUMMMM. I was told that I can’t do that in front of his parents.

    My family is scattered, I’m in New England and the rest of my family is in the south, it’s just nice to see pieces of everyone in my home on my tree…

  679. Second Timer says:

    Hi, All –

    I am new to the site. :)

    Are you married or currently seeing someone outside of the Sugarbowl?I am single although have had one very nice SD/SB relationship.

    Do you prefer not to know if your potential sugar is in a relationship/married? Why or why not? I prefer married SDs – particularly if they are in a cold or non-physical kind of marriage. I would only ask that my SD keep me updated in regards to any changes in his marriage, as I would not want to hinder any attempts at mending his marriage.

    Do you think feeling ‘cheated on’ is less of a risk for you in Sugarland? Why or why not? My SD wanted an exclusive relationship, but continued to troll the SA site, and lied to me about it. I believe him when he says that he was not pursuing other SBs – but that does not negate the fact that that is exactly the path he was following and also – seriously – the trust was gone for me. I am honest and sincere, even forthcoming and expect the same in any adult relationship. Why would I want to lose my self-respect in exchange for an arrangement? That is just not me.

  680. Midwest SB says:

    TXSB – here, here on the roommate in her bra/panties. It’s more about the lack of respect than the fact she is showing that much skin to my sd/bf.

  681. TexaSD says:

    TXSB- I don’t see much difference between bra/panties, and a full bikini, to me, its about the same, heck, most bra/panties now a days cover up more than most bikinis lol

  682. Rachel 386002 says:

    It was a great analogy. That’s why I was laughing. :)

  683. TexaSD says:

    Rachel- Lol its the best thing I can think of, in a way he is kind of like it, trying to clean up anything that could be seen as un-necessary. oh well, I thought it was pretty good analogy lol.

  684. Midwest SB says:

    Hi TXSB!

    Rachel – That’s a great tradition! We’re not much on traditions in my family as everyone is a bit scattered. The one tradition we have is a Polish Christmas…no turkey. We make traditional homemade perogis, polish sausage, and other polish goodies!

    I WISH I could have a remote starter…they won’t work on my car as it’s not fuel injected :-(

  685. TexaSD says:

    Those prenuptial changes will, according to their source, give his wife additional financial incentives to stay with the world’s greatest golfer….

    Not a real marriage anymore if that is true… which is kind of sad… i would say, don’t pretend and just get divorced, Will any woman really love him, or is he just walking dollar signs? That actually makes me feel real bad…

    TXSB- How are you?

    Midwest- Ya i thought it was pretty good, I even remembering paying to see it with friends lol (that speaks volume for a young guy lol)

  686. Just Dee in NC says:

    Realistic, my point in saying that the guy was a virgin and thought his fiancee was, was that she wasn’t and she knew she had herpes. He had no clue until he had his first outbreak. That’s a really lousy way to find out you’ve been lied to.

  687. Rachel 386002 says:

    TexaSD…. great movie… but I’m laughing at your analogy!

  688. TXSB says:

    Thank you! Believe me, I’m very aware of just how lucky I am to have found him… :)


    Sorry about the dinner “convo”… :( BTW, check your e-mail when you get a chance.


    I don’t blame your SB! If my roomie lounged around in bra/panty while a man I am involved with (whether its my SD, or a BF) was over….then I would ban my man from coming over too! I can’t believe her roomie has that much lack of respect for herself….let alone her roommate.

  689. Midwest SB says:

    TexasSD – Great movie!

    ESB – This is my first time seeing you here. Where are you from (roughly)? Have you done the sb/sd relationship in the past? I’ve been on the blog for a while, and on SA for the past few months. Hoping for a SD for Christmas :-)

  690. Rachel 386002 says:

    Ok… so we’ve touched base today on many different topics…. Anyone have any fun plans for this weekend?

    I think I will put my tree up and get to decorating it. It’s one of my fav things to do. My fam has a tradition… every xmas eve you get 1 ornament. This tradition still goes on today… but it’s cool because EVERYTHING on my tree has sentimental value so when I look at it I think of my brother in Virginia or my parents and younger siblings in Florida. Some of them are things we made as kids… those are the best!

    Things I’m not looking forward to… holiday shopping…. I NEVER know what to get people! I mean what’s cool for a 21 yr old brother? Little sister will get coach again, hopefully this time it won’t get stolen!

    And of course I’ll have to get something for myself…. perhaps a car starter seeing it’s FREEZING here!

  691. TXSB says:

    Hi Everyone! Busy evening here on the blog…. :)

  692. NYC SB says:

    interesting read bellow… that Elin is a smart woman


    Elin and Tiger Woods Prenuptial Agreement Being Revised

    Tiger Woods has come clean and admitted he cheated on his wife, Elin Woods. As Woods was quite clear at saying he wanted privacy for himself and his family, one might assume that would be the end of the story. Instead, however, comes the news that Elin Woods (Nordegren) is revising their prenuptial agreement.

    While according to reports Elin Woods is not going to be moving out anytime soon, she is taking a hard look at the Tiger Woods prenuptial agreement that the couple agreed upon when they were married. Reportedly, she is receiving a seven-figure stipend that is transferred into an account she has sole control over. That stipend is given to her if she stays with Woods.

    The source consulted by the Chicago Sun-Times notes that Elin Woods is a smart woman, and it working to get changes to the prenuptial agreement between herself and Tiger Woods. Those prenuptial changes will, according to their source, give his wife additional financial incentives to stay with the world’s greatest golfer.

    The current Tiger Woods prenuptial agreement would, if the couple stayed married 10 years, allow Elin Woods to collect $20 million. To be honest, that seems rather on the low side. According to the Sun-Times’ sources, that time is being reduced substantially, and the dollar amount has been increased substantially.

    Finally, in addition to all this renegotiation over Elin and Tiger Woods’ prenuptial agreement, the two are undergoing “intense marriage counseling.” It is unclear when the counseling began, but it apparently involves a counselor who has been conducting sessions with the couple several times a day.

  693. TexaSD says:

    Rachel- Did you ever see that movie City of Angels with Meg Ryan and Nick Cage? Its the movie where he (NIck Cage) is an Angel, who wants to become human, later in the movie he becomes a human, but he can still sense other Angles even though he can’t seem them, he just knows they are there. I had that moment with Stephan,

    Stephan- Nice to have you grace us with your presence.

  694. EasternSureBaby says:

    Are you married or currently seeing someone outside of the Sugarbowl? Did you join SA before or after you met them? Do they know?

    I am not married, seperated from my very soon to be X

    Do you prefer not to know if your potential sugar is in a relationship/married? Why or why not?

    I’d like to know, so I know where I stand with him. It would let me know what to expect also in terms of how much time we could have together.

    Do you think feeling ‘cheated on’ is less of a risk for you in Sugarland? Why or why not?

    NO, half the men (?) are married and are cheating on their wives. I’d like to think I could find someone who would at least be honest with me if they felt they needed/wanted more than one SB.

  695. SincereSD says:

    Wow busy day on the blog. Still working through the post …

    Cheating_SD says: SincereSD, you’re absolutely right. It’s just hard to see absolutely beautiful SBs on the site and not want to give them a try too.

    CSD, of course you can resist … but if that’s what you’re into and the SB doesn’t mind, then all the power to you bro. Just don’t give us “LT” SD a bad rap. Be careful as there are a lot of drama queens and some unstable drama queens out there. Read the accounts of my knife wheedling ex and RSD’s drugged up duo.

    TXSB says: I totally understand what your previous was feeling. I’ve been backstabbed before by female “friends” when it comes to men I’m dating..(in fact, one was my best friend at one point.

    TXSB, she was even jealous of her roommate. I couldn’t even come over to chill as her roomie would lounge around in bra and panties.

    Beach_Girl*395953 says: Sincere~ you said you had a SB here in MTL, may I ask how long it lasted? I know it was probably costly to have a SB far away, but don’t you come here for work?

    BG, my Mtl relationship lasted 7 months. Mtl seems to be a haven for young hot party girls so I imagine it’s tough to be a SB there with so much competition. I understand that escorts are widely available at very low rates and it became a major sex trade center when the canadian dollar was low.

    As for expenses, I did travel to Mtl once a month so the other 3 trips were out of pocket. Besides how do I expense a $500/night shag suite at the Nellie?

  696. stephan says:

    Hi Mid, TexasSD, Beach_Girl, Yaz, Photogirl, Rachel all! :)

    TexasSD: You are too kind :) I’m doing well, glad to see you here tonight!

    Beach_Girl: Hello, always good seeing your comments and brightness here!

    Rachel: Hello there, I sent you an email, if you didn’t get it here’s mine you may contact me at just in case: [email protected] – always a pleasure seeing your comments and warmth here as well!

  697. TexaSD says:

    Are you married or currently seeing someone outside of the Sugarbowl? Did you join SA before or after you met them? Do they know?

    Currently not seeing anyone.

    Do you prefer not to know if your potential sugar is in a relationship/married? Why or why not?

    Yes, I feel there could be potential drama,depending on the answer(plus like to avoid any said drama)

    Do you think feeling ‘cheated on’ is less of a risk for you in Sugarland? Why or why not?

    Not 100% sure, I am still thinking about this one lol

  698. TexaSD says:

    Napa- did you leave?

  699. Yaz10 says:

    I agree with you ESB!!!!!!

    They have not only become celebrities in a NY minute but they will also keep making money from this whole thing as long as people will be willing to pay them to have them appear on shows to tell their side of the story. I feel bad for him. He sounded really scared too as if he knew the whole thing was about to blow up soon..

  700. EasternSureBaby says:

    All I heard on the radio today was that phone call Tiger made to that woman. Ya know, I’m so sick of it. He is human, he made a mistake, so can we just get passed it? Those women will become rich from this, which just shows how much they cared about him. It was all about them and what they were getting from him. Makes me feel sad for him. If he wasn’t famous, or have that squeeky clean image that is now tarnished, no one would be thinking 2ce about the whole mess… enough of the lecture.

  701. NapaSB says:

    ok well off on another flight…goodbye all :)

  702. Midwest SB says:

    Did Tiger have a false sense of security or was he feeling particularly brave? He must have a prenup or he wouldn’t have taken her out in public. Of course half of his fortune is still a living wage :-)

  703. TexaSD says:

    HI Anna HI midwest,

    Napa where are you now?

  704. Anna Molly says:

    I lost track of who was signing on so I’ll just say hallo to everyone :)

    HALLO!! :)

  705. Anna Molly says:

    Ugh, I felt a terrible headache coming on so I had to take an Imitrex…now I feel really funky..lol.

  706. Yaz10 says:

    NYCSB: Yeah I dont think he was paying them but I am pretty sure they did somehow benefit from it.
    One of them has released a voicemail she had in her phone and I would not be surprised if she tries to write a book about her relationship with Tiger. Those women became celebrities overnight! lmao

  707. Rachel 386002 says:

    WOW… glad I ate BEFORE I came back to the blog today!

  708. NapaSB says:

    hi Anna! how are you doing?

  709. EasternSureBaby says:

    good evening everyone! How is everyone in Sugarland?

  710. NapaSB says:

    haha TexaSD I dont know how that helps me…I think I am still too new here to have gotten the SD/SB email list from anyone….sadly, because TXSB would be the first address I pilfered from said list 😉 hiiiiiii TXSB

    so Tokyo kicked my butt…thank goodness for aquarius :)

  711. NYC SB says:

    Im unsure if they were really SBs or just plain women looking to hook up with celebrities… im sure he took them out to dinners (flew one out to australia) but i kind of doubt he was paying them an allowance

  712. Anna Molly says:

    Realistic, that sucks so bad.

    Hi TexaSD and CASB :)

  713. NapaSB says:

    GOODMORNING!!!!! …whoa that was entirely too enthusiastic….(sp?)

  714. CASB says:

    Wow, RealisticSD, I just read a couple of your posts and you sound like a wonderful man. TXSB is very lucky to have you and she deserves it, she seems like a great girl! :)

  715. Yaz10 says:

    Dang, I can understand that a lot of married SDs have a LOT to lose if they get caught…I hope Tiger got a prenup or else, lol she will be the one laughing all the way to the bank! LOL 3 sbs?!!? Get out!

  716. Midwest SB says:

    RealisticSD – that’s no fun. I’m sure you maintained composure.

    CASB – How have you been?

    TexasSD – hi!

  717. Midwest SB says:

    CASB – Hi! I know!

    Stephan – yw 😉

  718. Yaz10 says:

    Lmaoo CASB!

  719. RealisticSD says:

    This whole Tiger Woods story sucks. That was the entire dinner conversation and my wife gave me all sorts of ultimatums about what would happen to me if I am ever caught being unfaithful :(

  720. TexaSD says:

    RealisticSD- The herpes thing, you can have, and never show a symptom for your whole life, roughly 1/6 of the US population has it, another interesting one is HPV, more so a problem for women than men, but genital warts can’t be tested on guys, while they can be tested on woman, (when I say males can’t be tested, blood work, doesn’t show HPV in males) although there is a 75% chance that people who are sexually active will catch HPV, However both males and females can get vaccinated for HPV (gardasil) and Hep B,

    Ok I am done with the STD talk…

  721. CASB says:

    I haven’t had time to catch up, but just wanted to stop in and ask if anyone saw the lastest addition to the featured SD’s today? hahaha Oh my goodness! I think he has the wrong site, for sure! :)

  722. RealisticSD says:

    I don’t think I’m 100% wrong at all. Being immune means I can’t catch it. True, it can come up some time in the future, but the chances are it won’t and for sure I will be immune.

    I agree that arguing details of STDs is pointless here, as blog people are intelligent enough to at least vaguely understand the risks. I have brought up STD testing with several SBs in the past and it has always been pointless. They always have some reason to believe they don’t need to be tested. So when I am worried of the amount of risk, I don’t sleep with someone.

  723. Yaz10 says:

    Hi Anna :-)

    Jesus, all this is kinda making me glad I am not an “active” SB at the moment….I think I lost my appetite…lol

  724. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    Ok everyone I’m off! Dinner is calling my name!

  725. Yaz10 says:

    Ok I come back from work, sit comfortably in my bed, start eating and all I read is about “shedding”, burning, itchiness, lesions, herpes, outbreaks


    What the hell?

    I think I just threw up a little…

  726. Midwest SB says:

    Wow! Gemi that’s a great profile!!!! Flo Rida…can I be next???

  727. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    Bye Flo!

  728. Flo Rida says:

    Gemi – Yay! love the profile btw :-) Signing off for now. Bye everyone

  729. cleo says:

    you know, my comment made more sense before i refreshed the blog and was like 40 comments later

  730. Just Dee in NC says:

    People pay more attention when you call them sex workshops! No one would show up if you called it “Prolapse prevention exercise class.”

  731. cleo says:

    JustDee: i’ve actually started teaching pelvic floor workshops. i say they’re sex workshops but i’m lying *g*
    SDN: now now you’re the SD, how about i tell you the anatomy book i most covet? *g*

  732. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    SDN – Leave as is — a la Pisa. More character.

  733. anonymous says:

    oops meant 100% wrong not 10% LOL

  734. anonymous says:

    Realistic- You sounded like you knew what you were talking about in regards to herpes until you said this:

    “Because I don’t get any lesions, so if I have been exposed, I am immune and it would give me one less thing to worry about.”

    Immune? Sorry but you are 10% wrong. Many people have been exposed and it takes years for them to get their first outbreak. You don’t believe that then ask your doctor. some people get a first outbreak that is so minor as well they don’t even know they have herpes and some get the first outbreak from hell. I have a friend who was with a guy for 4 years and then after they broke up she was celibate for 2 years and at the end of the second year she got an awful outbreak. He was the only person she could have gotten it from as she wasn’t even dating all that time

    If your immunity is strong to fight off the infection you might not get any lessions but you can still be shedding (look up asymptomatic shedding) and still transfer it to your partner. Then if you have a stressful period and get run down that is when it may come out

  735. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    Hey Flo! Missed all my blog girls (and guys!) too! Been busy with work, finally found an evening to devote a bit to the blog!

  736. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Anna: We’ll talk about the collection :)

    CB NY: rofl….you offering to help?

  737. Just Dee in NC says:

    Flo Rida! ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!

  738. Flo Rida says:

    More Tiger humor:

    Police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit the rear window ‘I don’t know, 5 or 6, put me down for a 5’

    Did you hear Phil Mickelson called Tiger’s wife asking ‘can you tell me how I can beat Tiger’

    What were Tiger and his wife doing at 2.30am – they went ‘clubbing’

    What do Tiger & baby harp seals have in common – They both get clubbed by Norwegians (sorry PETA and sorry for the poor taste)

    Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract on her own set of drivers. They are Elin Woods ‘clubs you can beat Tiger with’.

    Gemi – I missed you babe! Glad to see you again!

  739. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    SDN – Small suggestion for your profile tag line: Help me fix my crooked tree!

  740. Anna Molly says:

    SDN ~ I’m sending that list, seriously I am :)

    Although, if you put the present under your tree, how will I collect it? :)

  741. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    Midwest, had to scroll back up…..ill-timed commentary indeed! lol

  742. Irish SB says:

    Haha Midwest im only after noticing that now! Funny!

  743. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Anna: Leans slightly to the left. It is actually a nice tree. I am not a big decorator, single SD and all, but I do like a Christmas tree. Send me that list and I will put a present under it for you! Shoes? VC? Coach?

  744. Midwest SB says:

    I’m beginning to realize how poorly timed by last comment was :-)

    SDN – What are you trying to say?

    JohnQ – Although the topic does apply to sugar dating and traditional dating, it is really a discussion best suited to the two people considering a relationship. As you have pointed out, there is a great deal of information available to anyone who desires to learn more.

  745. Anna Molly says:

    SDN ~ Why is you tree crooked? Is it leaning left or right?

  746. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    I’m not sure why people would approach their sexual health (and the other persons) any different in the sugar world than the would normally. Even when using protection there is always the possibility of catching something…some people don’t know they have something, testing does not cover all STDs, and some people LIE. There is always a risk, always. Just be careful and don’t jump into bed with someone you just met. *shrugs*

  747. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    So anyone want to talk about my crooked tree again? *** at least it is a full tree, not a twig ***

  748. Just Dee in NC says:

    ROFLMAO! Okay, guys, you don’t like the itchy subjects, but maybe I should get out the links to the microbiology web sites that I used to use when I tutored the subject for pre-nursing subjects? The pictures you’ll see will make those statistics have a great deal more meaning, I promise.

    I would love to have the appropriate microbiology degrees so I could teach, because so many teachers do a mediocre job with a fascinating subject. But that would require more chemistry, and I don’t want anything badly enough to take another chemistry class.

    ED? Damage to muscles, nerves, or capillaries. Nitric oxide (look it up). The little blue pill and its counterparts have no effect on ED that is caused by damage to capillary walls, such as happens in diabetes. So gentlemen, when your doctor says to get your blood sugar down and keep it down, HE MEANS IT. The impotence from diabetes cannot be treated or reversed. Once you’ve got it, your sex life is over.

    RealisticSD ….. I understand where you’re coming from. When a spouse no longer treats you with respect, when every interaction is nothing but nagging and disdain, desire dies. Interest and willingness die. When spouses stop having sex, they gradually stop touching each other at all. And when you stop touching, you eventually stop talking. The only way to keep your sanity is to get that affirmation of yourself as a desirable, capable, interesting, valued person – the affirmation you should be getting from your spouse! – from someone else.

  749. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Anna: Hhhhmmm…that might be fun. Deal.

  750. Midwest SB says:


  751. Anna Molly says:

    SDN ~ If you send me yours, I’ll send you mine :)

  752. Midwest SB says:

    Yeah! Gemi and NYC SB are coming! I love a great top shelf margarita on the rocks, no salt please…unless it’s…nevermind.

  753. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Anna: If you need my “wish list” just let me know :)

  754. Anna Molly says:

    SDN ~ No, I haven’t started Christmas shopping yet. I always wait until the last minute..lol. I too love to online shop especially at Amazon, it’s the best for gadgets and stuff like that. I’m a gadget girl for sure, got to have the latest iPod and now I’m looking for a new phone. I’ve never had a need for a keyboard, but I do now :)

  755. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    NYGent – Sounds like fun!

  756. Irish SB says:

    Cheers NYGent – rub it in! :-)

  757. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Party at Midwests house!! Mexican theme!

  758. NYGent says:

    Dec. 8 dinner group: you all have mail

  759. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    Ooh NYC SB, my new best friend. Original lime flavor! With Salt! Frozen! Wahooo!!

    See, even online drinks get me silly….

  760. Midwest SB says:

    NYC SB – nice combo!

    SDN- Steak and shrimp

  761. Irish SB says:

    Am i the only person who doesnt like louis vuitton?

    Although im suprised that the topic change from STDs suggested by Ohio (btw SDN im calling you that from now on as it looks 2 much like STD!)
    was to shopping!

  762. NYC SB says:

    im bringing margaritas… now which flavor you all want them in?

  763. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    I’ve never had a fajita(s). But I’d still bring the beer.

  764. NYC SB says:

    RSD – ummm ummm no more… i need brain bleach

    thinking of shiny new louboutins and a mini lbd

  765. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    SD NEOhio – Well I’m sure everyone can agree that LV is far much more of a happy thing to think on than herpes. 😉

  766. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Midwest: Fajitas? Chicken, Beef or Shrimp? I will bring beer.

  767. Midwest SB says:

    Making fajitas…anyone joining me needs to bring beer!

  768. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Gemini29: ROFL louis vuitton. You are killing me.

    Midwest: If you have some extra in the Christmas fund…I am just putting it out there.

  769. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    I’m an ebay shopper. Can’t resist a deal…. plus I don’t mind buying some things like purses pre-owned.

  770. Midwest SB says:

    SDN – Is that a hint??? Should we be checking out your wish list? I bet you couldn’t add sugar baby to that list. I love shopping online. Much better variety, prices and no crowds!

    As for ED – never had a problem, very uninformed.

  771. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    ACK! *louis vuitton louis vuitton happy place happy place HAPPY PLACE*

    naughty RealisticSD! 😉

  772. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    I love to shop online…have an Amazon wish list and everything. Anyone else?

  773. RealisticSD says:

    To catch up on the rest of the blog:

    As for superstars and politicians, they’re too much in the spotlight not to get caught. Tiger will be fine if he has a good prenup. Otherwise, he’s screwed.

    You can get anonymous testing at Planned Parenthood and a really full panel can run as high as $500. Also, remember HIV takes up to 6 months to show up in blood work. So they could have caught it yesterday and their test could still be negative three months from now.

    As for herpes, it sheds 3% of days even when there are no symptoms at all (asymptomatic shedding). But who cares? Seriously. People get it on their lips all the time and don’t care, so why does it matter if it is in the genital area where no one will see it? Now, for the record, I don’t have either type of herpes. Presumably I am immune to the lip type (I have kissed at least three girls who would get recurrent outbreaks), and probably but perhaps unfortunately have not been exposed to the genital strain. Why do I say that? Because I don’t get any lesions, so if I have been exposed, I am immune and it would give me one less thing to worry about.

    Just Dee, you can definitely have genital herpes and be a virgin. A lot of genital herpes is on places like the thigh, not necessarily on the genitalia. Also, rarely HSV 2 can appear on the lips or people can get genital herpes from HSV 1 from oral sex.

  774. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    I didn’t mean it that way…I promise. So Christmas shopping…

  775. Irish SB says:

    Lol at Ohio!

  776. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    :O @ SD NEOhio

  777. lisa says:

    Have my tree up…little crooked but it is up

    Wow the Viagra must have worked fast, lol sorry I couldn’t resist, I better leave now

  778. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    lol @ Lisa.

    I have to admit all this talking about diseases and such is making me uninterested in meeting the SDs in my area. Maybe I should email the pot SDs back and say “Sorry, the blog topic has scared me off being a SB. Much apologies”

  779. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    OK that sounded better before I hit “Submit”

  780. lisa says:

    I must add though that I receive emails on a regular basis from Viagra and “add inches” sights as well as ARP newsletters. They must think i’m an old man

  781. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Have my tree up…little crooked but it is up.

  782. Irish SB says:

    in the mood!

  783. lisa says:

    I’m going to leave now and have some hot cocoa and whip cream before I catch something from you people

  784. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Anna: Hey glad you could join us. Got your Christmas shopping done?

  785. Irish SB says:

    Moral battles, STDs and ED hmmm really puts you on the mood doesnt it 😉

  786. lisa says:

    When I was in Highschool, stds were called vd

  787. Anna Molly says:

    Yes, let’s change the subject..lol. I’m getting sick to my stomach.

  788. cleo says:

    SDN: aww you mean you don’t want me to call you? shucks and here i was about to go call 411 and find you *g*

    how bout email instead?


  789. cleo says:

    SDN (re your comment to irish) i can help you with that…?

    okay okay i’ll stop now…

  790. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    SD NEOhio – Well I guess ED could be a hot topic…. but then I better bow out because while we learnt allllllll about stds back in high school and college, we never covered ED… I can’t talk intelligently on the subject at all.

    Except to say that if someone gets a 4 hour erection taking Viagra or something similar…by golly that sounds uncomfortable!

  791. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    I am KIDDING!

  792. lisa says:

    erectile disfunction aka ED treatable with Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra

    oh look I can name three ED medications if the effect doesn’t wear off after 4 hours, go to the emergency room

  793. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    cleo: ummm…call me.

  794. Midwest SB says:

    Evening Sugars!

    So many new faces and I believe the SD posts have outnumbered the SB posts. Yeah! Welcome all!

    Flo Rida and NYGent – Thanks for the laughs!

    Cleo and HL – Thanks for the STD lesson.

    I’m so glad the married SDs have openly shared their views on marriage and SB relationships. It really doesn’t matter what brings a person to seek companionship elsewhere. It does matter that their family is still number one, kids are happy, etc. (see the first few posts from yesterday to see my viewpoint if you like). My only suggestion is that you should realize kids are not clueless and should be given credibility if you are ever confronted by your child. Doesn’t mean you have to tell them everything, but maintaining their trust is important. A little off topic and just my opinion.

  795. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Irish!!! Hey. Ummm just skip the whole ED thing…doesn’t apply to me…really.

  796. cleo says:

    SDN: is it hot if i tell you i know how to fix it? and um… lots of other stuff?

    *still laughing*
    re scheduling, i don’t have an SD but if i did i’d have to schedule to some extent because i have a life but am willing to be spontaneous as well… different if he’s further away of course.

  797. Irish SB says:

    Good evening SDN, Gemini 29 and lisa!!

    I hadnt really the ‘want in me’ to respond to the blog today much at all as some of the comments made me think woww.

    Regarding John Q research and that you are suprised by the figures for HSV-1 70% – 90% of the pop. Excuse my ignorance but arnt we talking about the common coldsore? I would say 70% -90% of my friends have had one or many at one stage.

  798. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    cleo: You are so not being hot right now. lol

  799. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Gemini: You saying ED isn’t going to be a popular topic? Well OK guess we can talk about scheduling if you think that would be better.

    Part of the reason I like an SB is that my schedule is crazy busy. Especially this time of year. Do most of you out there have schedule meetings or do you fit it in when possible?

  800. cleo says:


    bad time to mention that often ED is caused by pelvic floor musculature failing to function correctly?

    man the things i know because of my job

    *dies laughing*

  801. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    SD NEOhio: Oh I agree…

    Lets seee….. we can talk about…. um…

    how SDs and SBs fit their SB/SD into their life and schedule? Right now things are going to be tough for me…new job…eats up all my time…when I’m off work I’m tired and its late… and I only have two days off and they are on odd days. What is a girl to do?? I just wonder how everyone handles their SD/SB with a work schedule in place

  802. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Gemini: Sorry about the whole ED thing but I am so with NYC SB and lisa about changing topics. Either that or lets change the website to WebMD.

  803. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    lololol…..erectile dysfunction!

    Hello NYC SB and Lisa! I agree…how did talking about SBs and SDs end up on the itchy STD side of things??

  804. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Oh god we can talk about all most anything else at this point…like erectile dysfunction. I don’t care!

  805. RealisticSD says:

    Cakepatty, you generalize too much I think about a man’s motivations for sugar dating. I got into sugar dating because a young woman came to train with me as a preceptor. From the first moment I saw her, all I could think of was how to make her life better and to train her well an to make her successful. Sex did not even cross my mind for quite some time into our emotional affair, and even when it happened, I was rather reluctant and unsure about it. Is my wife to blame? Not sure. But it sure is hard when you go home and all you hear is nagging about what an awful husband I am because, even though I make seven figures, I don’t help with sweeping bread crumbs off the floor. To my SB I was a godsend, and even to this day now that we have ended things for a year, she thinks of me as her “angel”. She has an awesome career now and she thanks me for it. How is my wife to compete? I’ll be totally honest. Everywhere I go, people like me. My staff love me and everyone in the office wants to work for me. My friends adore me to the point that my wife even gets jealous of my guy friends. And I have met a dozen or so SBs on this site, and every single one wanted me to be their SD after the first date (granted some went crazy on me). Now to see this and know that I can be someone’s McDreamy but instead am stuck being my wife’s McStinky just plain old sucks. So I have to either spend all day fighting with her, trying to salvage something, or ignore her and put my time and energy into an SB. And when I ignore her, she is much happier. I have told her a hundred times that we should get counseling, that I am not happy, that things cannot last the way they are, that we are just together because of the kids, and even that an affair would help our marriage, but it is all a waste of effort. It’s much better to put my effort and money to make someone else’s life better. And yes, have her make me feel good in return.

  806. lisa says:

    since when did the topic of “SD” and “SB” turn into “STD” ?

  807. NYC SB says:

    Hi Gemi – good to see you back on blog 😀

    we need to get off the itchy subjects for a minute

  808. JohnQ says:

    Interesting discussion of STDs.

    Looking around on the internet, it appears that 70-90% of Americans are infected with oral herpes (HSV-1), and somewhere between 20-25% of adult Americans are infected with genital herpes (HSV-2). I haven’t seen a breakdown of HSV-2 infections by sexually active adults, but I’d have to figure that if the total population is 20-25%, the sexually active adult population would have to have an infection rate of at least one out of three. 80-90% of those with HSV-2 don’t know they have it. I believe this means they don’t have outbreaks. At the very least, somewhere around 2/3 are completely symptom-free.

    I’m kind of surprised at the HSV-1 numbers. I don’t have HSV-1 (I’ve been tested), so either I’m very lucky or I’m somehow misinterpreting the information I’ve seen.

    It appears that transmission of herpes 2 is possible even if the carrier is asymptomatic, but this appears to be “far less likely” than if there are symptoms present. One site I’ve seen indicates that, if a couple has regular, unprotected sex for a year, but refrain from sex during outbreaks, a man has a 3% chance of catching the disease from an infected woman and a woman has an 8% chance of catching the disease from an infected man. Condoms reduce these rates by 40-50% (e.g., to about 2% and about 4-5%).

    The net of this is actually better than I would have thought. HSV-2 is normally so mild that only 10-20% of those infected even know they have it. In addition, the chances of infection seem quite low, as long as you avoid sex during outbreaks, and can be further reduced by condom use.

    None of this means that this or any other disease should be taken lightly. Nevertheless, I’m somewhat less concerned than before I did this research.

    HSV-1 appears to be so prevalent that there’s not much point in worrying about contracting it, since almost everyone already has it (though, again, I don’t, or at least didn’t the last time I was tested).

    HSV-2 is less prevalent, but any sexually active person is likely to run into it. If you figure an average sexual relationship lasts six months, and you avoid sex during outbreaks and use condoms, I believe the chances of a man contracting a symptomatic form of the disease is around 0.2%, or about one in 500. I get that number by dividing the year-long transmission rate in half (1%), then multiplying by the percentage of carriers who realize they have the disease (20%). The similar number for a woman would be approximately 0.5%, or about one in 200.

    In addition, I’m pretty sure that, once you have HSV-2, you can’t get infected again, since your immune system should protect you (though you can continue to get outbreaks from the original infection). So, in a weird way, getting an asymptomatic version of the disease might actually protect you, assuming, of course, that the disease remains asymptomatic.

    All of this information is based on looking at what appear to be reputable web-sites, along with some extrapolation. If anyone out there has better information, or knows anything that contradicts what I’ve said, please speak up.

    So returning to my original issue, which was whether I would terminate a relationship with someone who has HSV-2 (or refuse to enter such a relationship), I’d probably think about it some, but my sense is that this particular risk is probably less than other risks you run in any relationship (STD and otherwise). So I’d probably be careful to avoid sex during outbreaks, but wouldn’t otherwise be that concerned.


  809. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    Hmm…read through most of the blog…and it appears I’ve ended up on the itchy end of things!

    Blog questions:

    I prefer to know whether a SD is married or has a gf (to avoid the always icky jealous wife/gf syndrome) PLUS I am concerned about diseases and such. I really really prefer a guy to be single…it eliminates a lot of possible drama ahead of time, plus I’m not entirely comfortable seeing a man who is married. I prefer a guy to be honest with me about any of his paramoures or women of that nature…its when a guy starts hiding things and denying things that things get sticky and uncomfortable.

  810. cleo says:

    JustDee: i’ve heard health professionals say that your own herpes isn’t contagious to you (it totally is.) it’s amazing the misinformation that is out there. like the idea that you can get rid of something that lives forever in your spine :)

    that said, it’s still much much more difficult to give it to a man than a woman.

    i don’t know your age but i know a 50yo mother of four who hasn’t shared it with her husband and still can tell when the outbreaks are coming on. she’s just extra paranoid, any itch is suspect…

  811. Just Dee in NC says:

    Cleo, as time passes, the “prodrome” – the burning and tingling and itching that precede an outbreak – can become less and less noticeable, in both oral and genital herpes. Unfortunately, a lot of men and women think this means that their body has gotten rid of the virus …. and then they share it, thinking it’s gone for good. Not only that, but about 1/3 of all repeat outbreaks have no symptoms at all.

    Wait until your friends are my age, and ask them if they can still feel the outbreak coming.

    I knew a guy about 25 years ago who was a virgin when he got married, thought his wife was, and he got herpes from her in the first month or so that they were married. The next few months weren’t pleasant for either of them or any of their friends.

  812. anonymous says:

    JohnQ- said: Test results mean someone is disease-free right now, but tells you nothing about what will happen next week or next month.

    I agree Johnq, testing only gives you a false sense of security

    You can get tested for free at the county health clinic I think. Pretty obvious this SD thought he was smarter than you NYC. Good thing you did not get involved with him.

    I used to have a profile up at a casual sex type web site. I use condoms all the time unless I am in a long term monogamous relationship and even then it is usually months before I trust someone enough top not use them

    At one point I used to say right up front in the profile that I was HSV2(herpes) positive. I can’t tell you how many men congratulated me for being honest and how many women even responded to tell me that they have it as well but lie to their partners because they know they will be rejected. Most people only do the standard panel and herpes is a separate blood test.

    Of course everyone who has herpes got it because someone probably lied to them or just didn’t share that info or they were reckless one time.

    I have had guys, who do not know my status, offer me an incredible amount of money to have sex sans condom. I always refuse of course.

  813. poptart says:

    smiles and waves brightly
    Thank you all for your warm welcome. I have been reading the blog for a while now and was just waiting for an opportunity to say hi. (yanno and not feel like baby from Dirty Dancing, when she says, “I carried the watermelon”.)
    There are a lot of lurkers, and you all provide a wonderful resource of information without even realizing it.

  814. cleo says:

    JustDee: most women i know with herpes can feel an outbreak coming on and have never shared. many of the men i have met who admitted to having it also admitted to sharing it. everything else you said is spot on.
    Happy Lurker: all right then, i’ll email you my comment instead :)

  815. poptart says:

    NYGent said…For the record: I hereby declare that notwithstanding any prior inconsistent statements about reluctance to get involved with SBs who are married and/or with children, I am available and willing to accept Tiger Woods’ wife and two kids into a new sugar family, of course along with her (our) rightful share of the Tiger empire.

    hmmmm… I bet she is sick of men right about now. She needs a sb (like me) to help her take her mind off of things. Yes, who has her email addy?

  816. Just Dee in NC says:

    NYGent, if you think any woman on this blog is going to let you throw your life away on a Swedish blonde, when there are 4 dozen women here who would snatch you up in a heartbeat – you got so more thinking to do.

    Besides, not only do we have women on this blog who are far, far prettier than Mrs. Woods, but our women also have personalities. And brains. And wit. The things that make you guys WANT to keep it home.

  817. TXSB says:

    Ah…..you’re not that far away from SD & I. Nice to have you on the blog….



  818. Just Dee in NC says:

    JQ, here’s something else you need to remember about herpes: The virus is active and “shedding” for a MINIMUM of three days before any symptoms appear. That’s 3 days of passing the virus to your partner without either of you knowing that an outbreak is pending. Or 3 days of your partner passing the virus to you.

    Someone asked about testing. Planned Parenthood tests both men and women. Most of the “women’s clinics” (also listed in your yellow pages as “abortion clinics”) do STD testing for men and women. Your county health department (in the US) does at least some STD tests, if not all. Pay out of pocket instead of using your insurance. And these clinics won’t mail anything to your home.

    I’m too lazy to call my local women’s clinic to ask them how much a full range of STD tests costs. There are quite a number of tests that are run – the VDRL or RPR for syphilis, the ELISA test for HIV, cultures for chlamydia and gonorrhea, blood tests for all 3 types of hepatitis (A, B, and C), and blood tests for the IGM and IGG antibodies that would indicate herpes 1 or 2 infections.

    For the women, add to that a thin-prep Pap smear (with HPV DNA testing if there are any abnormal cells in the Pap smear), and a bacterial vaginosis panel (cultures for several bacteria that cause annoying vaginal infections which may lead to pelvic inflammatory disease).

    I’m looking at several web sites. For STD testing, many of the clinics appear to charge $100 to $150 for the office visit. The lab tests have price ranges, but it looks like another $200 to $400 depending on where you are plus the specific tests run.

    So no, it isn’t inexpensive to pay it out of pocket. But it’s sure a heck of a lot cheaper than explaining to your significant other why he or she suddenly has these odd little bumps where odd little bumps don’t belong.

  819. NYGent says:

    For the record: I hereby declare that notwithstanding any prior inconsistent statements about reluctance to get involved with SBs who are married and/or with children, I am available and willing to accept Tiger Woods’ wife and two kids into a new sugar family, of course along with her (our) rightful share of the Tiger empire.

    Q: so what do you call the arrangement when a young beautiful SB supports an older SD? A: Heaven.

    Off to practice my 9-iron . . .

  820. Anna Molly says:

    HL ~ It took me a while to translate the pass you made at me. :)
    The headache comment was not an attempt at avoiding you.

  821. SWM-TxSD says:

    beaumont area, but know I will have to look in the houston area

  822. TXSB says:

    poptart says:
    I do like to see the different perspectives tho. it keeps things interesting. this place is very diverse to say the least!

    I completely agree poptart. This blog would be boring if all of us agreed with each other all the time and had the same exact views on everything. :)

  823. TXSB says:

    NYC SB:
    Echoing the sentiment of others, I also would’ve done the same exact thing with that SD. His statement that he can’t get tested without his wife finding out is BS. His unwillingness to use condoms with his other SBs and also you (even after knowing his other SB had a STD) is just plain stupid in his part. I feel VERY sorry for his wife b/c he’s putting her health in danger.

  824. Happy Lurker says:

    Hello Cleo,
    No, I did not get your message on the Beaulolais.
    The last blog had over 2000 posts, incredible.
    I only have time now and then to follow the blog and a few hundred is too much to read up.
    But I got you message on the herpes non-problem.
    Again life is hilarious to me.
    You are quite an eye-opener.
    A lady I could discuss getting herpes from over a bottle of good wine.
    Come here and let me kiss you for that.
    You really are a delight !

  825. TXSB says:

    If you read this, please send me mail at tx_sb at hot mail. I would love to take you up on your offer to discuss gift ideas for SD in private(since he reads the blog)….but don’t have you contact info.


    SWM SD:
    Welcome! May I ask where in TX you are? If you’d not comfortable answering, I totally understand?


    I’m actually really glad this topic was chosen. This is also bringing up the topic of safe sex which is something I haven’t seen discussed on the blog often.

  826. TXSB says:

    Hi Happy Lurker, Cleo, SWM SD, JohnQ, Photogirl, NYC SB and anyone else I’m missing! :)

  827. Anna Molly says:

    Glücklich Lurker swoon ich jedes Mal, wenn ich eine der Ihre Nachrichten lesen. Ich würde gerne Deutsch mit Ihnen jederzeit zu praktizieren. Sie sagen mir, den Zeitpunkt und Ort. Bis wir wieder mein süßer erfüllen.

  828. Happy Lurker says:

    OMG Anna Molly,
    Just made a pass at you in German.
    Immediately you tell me you have a headache.
    Just the same old song.
    Poor me will drown his sorrows now in a bottle of chilled Dom Perignon.
    My lookalike 007 took that preference from me.
    Trust your headache will go away soon.

  829. cleo says:

    JQ: it’s pretty easy not to transmit herpes to a man. much harder not to give it to a female. it’s the mucous membrane thing you see.

  830. cleo says:

    Cheating_SD says: Just Dee you’re so right: “A lot of the drama in relationships is created because one person doesn’t know how to communicate honestly with their partner, so they create the drama in order to manipulate the partner into whatever outcome it is they want.” I have done that before because it’s easier than just saying, “I don’t want you any more.”

    but really it’s not easier. easier is telling the truth and making a clean break of it rather than dragging someone’s emotional health through the mud.
    RealisticSD says: In my experience, there are a lot of SBs who have only male friends. I think part of it goes along with the thought that the SB thinks she is hottest thing on earth and all women hate to be around her out of envy. I have had several SBs say that pretty much in those exact words.

    if you think women aren’t terrible to each other you haven’t been watching. i have female friends but i also have been treated really badly by women and trash talked because their man looked at me. not my fault but i still became ‘that slut’ even though all i did was stand around making a phone call.

    i’m not that hot, but i’m hot enough… that said, since i’m genuinely nice and generous and funny and smart too? they usually get over it and apologize for it later.
    poptart: welcome, and HEAR HEAR
    Happy Lurker: did you get my message to you on the last blog regarding the beaujolais?

    i should email you but i am terrible sometimes…

  831. JohnQ says:

    In re the whole STD testing thing: there are numerous sites on the web that will allow you to be tested completely anonymously. You get the test in a clinic, then call in to get your results. No one else will ever know, unless you tell them. And it’s quite cheap, at least in big cities.

    Also, although it’s obviously a good idea for anyone who’s sexually active to get tested from time to time, relying on the results of a test to decide against condom use is a huge mistake. At least unless you’re talking about a marriage or a monogamous long term relationship. And, in my opinion, that doesn’t include anyone in any sugar relationships. Test results mean someone is disease-free right now, but tells you nothing about what will happen next week or next month.

    Would I trust an SB to be monogamous? No. Should an SB trust me (or any other SD) to be monogamous? No. At least not if an STD is the potential outcome.

    So use condoms, regardless of test results.

    A more interesting question is what happens if the other person tests positive for something. Obviously, if the STD is treatable, it makes sense to hold off on sex until there’s no risk. If it’s not treatable (herpes or HIV), I suppose that’s a more difficult decision. I would probably terminate (or not begin) a relationship with someone who was HIV positive, because the consequences of getting the disease are so serious. I’m not so sure about herpes, since the consequences seem less serious and my sense is that you can fairly reliably avoid transmission if you’re careful. But I’m not an expert, and so far haven’t been put in a position where I have to make that choice.


  832. SWM-TxSD says:

    no need to. wrote a small book on my first post

  833. photogirl says:

    I apologize SWM-TxSD I mis-read your comment.

  834. Anna Molly says:

    I have a headache too…I’m trying to fight it, but unfortunately I think I’ll have to take one of my Imitrex. Those things make me feel so weird..lol

  835. SWM-TxSD says:

    I am not married. been divocred for awhile now.

  836. photogirl says:

    Hello Anna – Doing ok…have been fighting off a horrible headache all day which is bad because I am supposed to be working on my website!

    I certainly hope I did not cause SWM-TXSD to go back into lurk mode…I was in no way judging… just curious.

  837. Happy Lurker says:

    Maried ? Been there. Done that. Got burned. My own stupidity !
    Noone else to blame but myself. You see, I wore rosy spectacles.
    I am single and not seeing anyone in or out the sugar bowl.
    Nah, Anna Molly, Ich bin noch zu haben. Eine traumhafte Chanze.
    Können wir endlich etwas Deutsch üben.
    Mais dans pendant la nuit on va parler Francais passionement.
    C’est le langue d’amour, n’est ce pas ?!
    Hoffentlich werden Sie mich nicht entäuschen in der Liebe.
    I prefer to meet somebody who is single as well.
    Saves us a lot of drama and I think stories about an ex or so are a waste of time. I had rather concentrate on the two of us.
    I am a nerd, I know. I am just a one man for that one girl.
    As to “cheated on” in the Sugarworld.
    Only met SBs that treated me as an ATM.
    Thought this would be different here, but it is the same as in the real world outside the sugar bowl.
    Time and time again I read it in all kinds of comments.
    There is seldom any talk about other aspects that I regard as
    “the pleasure of your company”.
    The notion of friendship between the two of us is very important to me.
    Al that talk about the formation that Shakespeare refers to as
    “the beast with the two backs” is so overdone.
    Friendship will last a life time.
    Romping between the sheets just lasts 6,5 minutes according to a recent survey.
    But I am different, I know. My life is complete.
    I lead a very interesting life and do not “need” an SB.
    On the other hand I know that I have much to offer her to make her life complete.
    During my travels and my activities I meet so many interesting people.
    Many times there is a click and affection opens a door.
    Tell you something hilarious.
    “Thou shalt not cover thy neighbours daughter”, yet whenever I meet her, her eyes light up. She is 22 and has a BA in Psychology and will continue her studies to reach an MA in Crimonology.
    So you see, life is always a surprise and you never know when you will meet “that” person.
    As to Tiger Woods, I remember Archie Bunker saying “men have hormones”.

  838. Anna Molly says:

    Three now, It was two just this morning..lol

  839. photogirl says:

    NYCSB – One would think the cost wouldn’t matter…especially in his case. Wreckless indeed!

  840. NYC SB says:

    wow you guys… that tiger really goes around… count of girls he cheated with is up to 3 at this point…

  841. Anna Molly says:

    Hey there photogirl, how are ya? :)

    I really hope SWM-TxSD doesn’t go back into lurk mode..lol.

  842. photogirl says:

    SWM-TxSD – Welcome. May I ask how long you have been in your second marriage and how long you have been looking for a SB? If that is too personal, please forgive me and I understand if you do not wish to answer. I am just genuinely curious what brought you to searching again.

  843. Anna Molly says:

    SWM-TxSD ~ Thanks for joining us, so glad you came out of lurk mode :)

  844. NYC SB says:

    Cakepatty and Taz – of course there is a way to get tested without having it show up on your insurance bill… its called paying out of pocket… he was not open to this option… thus signaling that he is not only wreckless with his health but cheap as well… i mean a full set of tests cannot cost that much can they?

  845. Taz says:

    SWM-TxSD – agreed and well put. And welcome – happy you joined us :)

  846. SWM-TxSD says:

    Comming out of lurck mode.
    I wish I had known about this site when I was married. I am the father of two girls. was married for six years. Started to have an affair after four years. The woman that I married changed into mom only mode after first child. If I had known about this site I would have probable stayed with her and just went out of town on bussiness a lot. Now that being said and looking back I would not have married her but I have two great kids and the woman is the best mom ever put on plantet earth. While we dont aggree on everything I could not imagine anyone else being the mother of my girls. Wound up marrying the misstress and divocing her. The reason I am here is to find a relationship SD/SB that is drama free and just fun. But to get to the main point of some other blog statements, if my wife was a great mom and just a lousy wife I could see staying in it for the kids all day long. ALL I HAVE TO DO IN MY LIFE IS HAVE A JOB AND BE A GOOD FATHER. Sorry for the yelling. Just how I feel.

  847. Taz says:

    Hi NCGent – have a great trip!!

  848. Taz says:

    NYC SB – I would have had to do the same thing – I am 30 and have been cautious and safe enough NOT to contract any diseases thus far – his honesty is quite admirable but don’t know if I could go there…probably a really great guy too…which is too bad…so there you have it – I believe in complete honesty in an arrangement/relationship in the sugar bowl as much as anywhere else is mandatory – BUT – this poor guy – did being honest bite him in the ass??

    On that note – I am sure there is SOME way he can get tested?!?! A P.O box instead of an address maybe?

  849. NC Gent says:

    Good jokes Flo Rida — I will have to steal those :)

    About to head out on a flight… but just one comment…. to quote one of my favorite bloggers — clearly seekingarrangement is not the place to pass moral judgments….

    Have a great day everyone!

  850. cakepatty says:


    The fact that he said “he told me he couldnt get tested bc his wife would find out” would be enough of a red flag for me. There is anonymous testing of course and his wife would not find out unless there is something I don’t know about the process

  851. Muse says:

    Hey all. I skipped the last blog because I simply don’t have the time right now to catch up. Will someone please let me know if I missed anything important?

    Regarding relationship status. I am single and not seeing anyone outside the sugarbowl. My SD is married but I’ve always known that and glad I do. It let’s me know what the boundaries to our relationship are so that I don’t accidentally get either of us (but really him) in trouble.

    I, personally, have never cheated on anyone. That said, I haven’t had a lot of serious committed relationships and when I was dating (even if not sleeping with) more than once person at a time, everyone I so much as kissed was aware that I was seeing other people. I don’t like lying to anyone and I prefer not to be lied to. I would rather know that the person I’m seeing (sugarbowl or no) is seeing other people or looking than be totally surprised when I get “dumped” or have a health issue.

    I think in any relationship, sugar or no, honesty is crucial. I need to know what’s going on so I can adjust accordingly or get out.

    Ok, enough monologue outta me. I have to get back to work.

  852. NYC SB says:

    BG – vacation was awesome… i didnt want to return

  853. NYC SB says:

    Sincere – the stories in this blog are not about Waldorf daddy… while him and i are strictly business partners now he was always upfront about his other SB in asia… i always respect him for his honesty…

    On the safe sex discussion… I had a man write to me a while back… he had told me that he broke up with his SB bc she contracted an STD from an ex of hers which she hooked up with while she was with the SD… he told me he couldnt get tested bc his wife would find out but was fairly certain that he didnt catch anything bc his SB told him she hooked up with her ex in a period when she didnt see him… no they were not using condoms… and no he was not open to using condoms… it was a tough decision but i had to pass on this one

  854. cakepatty says:

    Good one Flo! LOL

    I would imagine most of the superstars do cheat. Too much temptation when they are on the road.

    What gets me is that they think they won’t get caught and that . They are not stupid so it has to be the ego thing

  855. Flo Rida says:

    Hi all. i’m still @ parents and the old blog crapped out my memory on my treo and I wasn’t going to use parent’s computer.

    In defense of Tiger at least he didn’t hit his wife back – I know that’s a small ‘mercy’. Also when you’re the world’s greatest golfer & lauded as a superstar & have so much money you start thinking ‘i can do anything I want, fulfill every fantasy’. It won’t be the 1st time & it won’t be the last that a superstar gets caught cheating.

    After watching The Hills i’m annoyed that Justin, Kristin & StacieTV is living my reality ‘going to a strip club, two girls making out & being attacked (in a good way) by strippers’ BUT you could tell Kristin wasn’t really into the kiss whereas Stacie was – just imagine a two minute smooch between two hot women – drives the strippers wild. Btw I like Audrina, Stephanie & Lo (though Audrina & Steph are not that smart)

    Jokes – What’s the difference between an Impala and a Titleist – a Titleist can be driven 400 yards.

    Why did Tiger hit a fire hydrant and a tree – he couldn’t decide between a wood or an iron.

    Finally hats off to Phil Mickelson (whom i’ve met) who I hope would NEVER cheat on his wife.

    ciao peeps

  856. cakepatty says:

    And as for Tiger Woods—-well like all the famous men of late who have admitted to cheating—they only seem to feel the remorse because they got caught.

    Give a man wealth or fame or both and their egos expand like a balloon. They think they have every right to cheat with the best looking woman they can afford and the really stupid thing is that they think they won’t get caught. But eventually they all do

  857. cakepatty says:

    I am not casting judgment on anyone. Hope I did not come off that way. I would be a hypocrite if I did. Just saying that cheating is so mainstream these days. The only problem I have is when someone says that someone elses actions drives them to cheat and then they therefore find it easier to be with their spouse because they are cheating.

    Sometimes it is the wife who drives their husband to cheat but I don’t think it justifies lying to someone. I would hope that when I am married if I am doing something that is driving my husband away from me that he would come to me and discuss it and he would let me know the marriage is dependent on working through this. I would just hate to be married to a man and not know that he was having sex with an SB on the side. when he comes home all happy I would think he was happy to see me and therefore whe I find out the truth I will feel like a fool

    And I would also be concerned if they were having sex without a condom. even if 2 people get themselves tested it doesn’t mean they can’t get an STD the next day and pass it on to someone. Of course it requires a great deal of trust and if it’s just you and your SB that is fine, but you are bringing an innocent 3rd party into the mix, the wife, who has no idea that her health and emotional well being is being compromised.

    And by staying the dutiful wife, while her husband is cheating with an SB, she is spending years in a dead marriage that will probably end soon anyway. Had she known she might have left

    I admit that I am guilty as well but I don’t try and put a pretty spin on it by saying I am with an SD because I would be with them without the arrangement and I find it sad when an SD justifies it by saying the wife is t blame and that they are doing it because they want to help mentor a young woman.

    I just wish people were more honest about their intentions. But that is just me so sorry if I offended anyone

  858. Rachel 386002 says:

    Hi all… I was on hiatus for a while…. but I’m back now. to answer the blog questions:

    *Are you married or currently seeing someone outside of the Sugarbowl? Did you join SA before or after you met them? Do they know?*

    I am not married, very single and not seeing anyone inside or outside the sugarbowl.

    Do you prefer not to know if your potential sugar is in a relationship/married? Why or why not?

    Yes, I would prefer to know. I believe any relationship whether it be sugar or not is based upon trust. I wouldn’t hold that back from you, so be honest with me… I’m not here to judge.

    Do you think feeling ‘cheated on’ is less of a risk for you in Sugarland? Why or why not?

    Feeling cheated on… I don’t think it’s less of a risk. You can come into a sugar relationship with all the intentions in the world, however, feelings are feelings… they have no logic; hence being feelings. Plus “feeling cheated on” can mean so many different things to different people.

  859. Taz says:

    How are you my girls doing this afternoon?! Nice to see all the new SDs :)

  860. Anna Molly says:

    Hey Taz :)

    Welcome poptart :)

  861. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Hey Taz!

  862. Taz says:

    Eric – you are most definitely NOT the only SB struggling to find the right SD/SM!

    Hi BG and everyone else!!

  863. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Eric~ struggling is an understatement!

  864. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    poptart~ I totally agree! we are all here to share!

    and Welcome

  865. Beach_Girl, glad to hear I’m not the only one stuggling :)

  866. poptart says:

    Hey… to all the married SD/sb… no need to defend yourselves or reasoning. I think it funny to say… Only single people should exchange y for x or however their mutually beneficial relationship might work. Kind of funny. like the exchange is only ok if people are single? heck, i am sure a lot of single people would be against the SD/sb world.
    No need to cast stones in any direction. Here is what I have noticed, admittedly a lot of people here are hypocrites. But at least it is open and admitted. Plenty of Married people only looking for singles. That is the beauty of a SD/sb relationship. Having an opinion. Getting a say. Getting what you want. No one has to serttle for something they don’t want.
    Live and let live!
    And i think most comments as such come out kind of wrong. i don’t think people mean to make others feel guilty. So even tho at times i have wanted to comment before today, I have always held off. Because we should be able to voice an opinion without worrying about if we said something wrong or if we are going to drive someone away. As long as there is mutual respect and harm was not intentional….
    I do like to see the different perspectives tho. it keeps things interesting. this place is very diverse to say the least!

  867. poptart says:

    Are you married or currently seeing someone outside of the Sugarbowl? Did you join SA before or after you met them? Do they know?
    I am married. I joined SA well after I was married. Nope. They do not know.

    Do you prefer not to know if your potential sugar is in a relationship/married? Why or why not?
    Yes. The nature of this type of relationship can allow for people to be candid about their actual wants/needs. I would want to know for health reasons.

    Do you think feeling ‘cheated on’ is less of a risk for you in Sugarland? Why or why not?
    No. I think the risk is the same in all types of relationships. Cheaters cheat. (feeling very zen today….. A thief steals it is because it is his job… So… if you don’t want to have something stolen… lock up your valuables)

    I have one thing to add regarding the Tiger Woods thing. He admitted his mistake after being caught. (as most people do) I don’t think he ever thought he was better than anyone or thought because he was who he was that he wouldn’t get caught. I also don’t think anyone believed his wife broke out both back windows of his car because she was trying to rescue him. (heehee!) But I have no idea between the relationship between him and his wife or his reasons. I don’t even follow golf. i just thought the story was kinda funny. (c’mon, we all knew his wife spazzed on him because she found out the truth)
    But on so many levels I will call out how horrible it is of person who is going to out any situation because they can. People who get involved with someone married, most likely promised discretion. Sure, in all cases we deserved to be treated as well as we treat others. But, there is no place for scorn in sb land. (imo) Just because a SD cheats or lies, does not mean it should go to paybacks. i think it terribly out of line to think it is ok to send txt, emails, or pics to spouses. (unless we are put in danger) That’s just not good.
    Oh and to add on to that very long thought…
    Women… Tiger was married to a model. yet… he still strayed… Looks alone can’t keep a man at home obviously.

  868. TXSB says:

    Need to go get lunch….see ya’ll later. :)

  869. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Anna~ as for the views and such , i am not a paying member, but got a lot of views and 22 faved me! Which I could get premium to see who has faved me!

  870. Just Dee in NC says:

    SincereSD: While this may not justify cheating, my decision to stray did not come easily.

    Boy howdy, is that ever 1000% on the mark.

  871. TXSB says:

    Wow…just wow. *back to my “good girl” corner*

  872. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Anna: Be careful I might just start filling your mail box :0

  873. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Eric~ It is hard even for us looking for SDs.

    Sincere~ you said you had a SB here in MTL, may I ask how long it lasted?
    I know it was probably costly to have a SB far away, but don’t you come here for work?
    Just wondering, since SDs here don’t seem to get it!

  874. Just Dee in NC says:

    See, Anna, there you go, charming another one. :-)

  875. SincereSD says:

    Hey NYG, NYSB, Dee, Patty, TXSB, BG and others,

    NYSB – sorry to hear about your SD; you two sounded like the perfect sugar couple.

    Patty – be careful about casting moral judgements and generalization wrt all SD. While this may not justify cheating, my decision to stray did not come easily.

    If you read the previous blogs, NYG, RSD and myself put up with a lot of crap from our former SB. However, we are probably not representative of most SD on the site.

    Maybe I’m getting defensive but I would say your comments apply equally to SB who are married or have multiple SD. Anyways rant off … My thumbs are sore and my kettle is still black!

  876. Anna Molly says:

    SDN ~ I’m sure we could work something out :)

  877. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Anna: Did you say OH? I don’t visit the city that often :( damn always a catch.

  878. Anna Molly says:

    Dee ~ The AND between TX and NYC should be changed to an OR. I can’t handle nor do I want more than one SD. I want to make sure my SD has all of his needs and wants taken care of the right way :)

  879. NYC SB, honestly not great, but I’m not expecting miracles :) and also, I’m pretty picky and expensive lol

  880. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Hi everyone!

    NYC SB~ hi , how was the trip?

  881. NYC SB says:

    Eric – how is the SM search going? most guys that chimed in on the blog were highly discouraged

  882. NYC SB says:

    Realistic – The reason why I have mostly male friends is not bc i think im too hot so other women envy me but simply bc guys are easier to deal with… most of the time they dont have drama over things… they give good advice from a male perspective which is helpful when dealing with guy problems… and they dont have to have an hour long conversation about where we are going out that night … oh and they dont take an hour to get ready to go out or are chronically late …

  883. Hi TXSB & AM :) it’s been a while.. lots to do heh

    How are u guys?:)

  884. Anna Molly says:

    Eric_the_Viking ~ Long time, no see :)

  885. Anna Molly says:

    Hmmm, Dee that kinda sucks and a little creepy at the same time..lol. I’m trying to stay away from SD’s in my area. I would prefer a SD in OH, NC, TX and NYC or even SOCAL as long as they travel to the city 😉

  886. cakepatty says:


    I am sure that is true and that they feel that way but that sort of ego does not just come out of nowhere. More than likely men turn to mush around gorgeous women like that and act like idiots. They are used to getting whatever their little hearts desire and can treat men and women like crap if they want because there will always be another guy willing to put up with them.

    I am considered very attractive but not so attractive that I intimidate other women. I prefer that. It takes a very secure woman to be around someone that attractive without being jealous just because of all the attention they get

  887. TXSB says:

    Hi Eric & Cakepatty! :)


    I went out last night to dinner and it was COLD. I think that’s what did it. I feel a little stuffy and throat is a little sore. You don’t need to change anything that you did…. :)

  888. RealisticSD says:

    Good morning TXSB. A little better–it comes and goes. I guess I got you sick too :(

  889. Are you married or currently seeing someone outside of the Sugarbowl? Did you join SA before or after you met them? Do they know?
    – No, I’m completely single.

    Do you prefer not to know if your potential sugar is in a relationship/married? Why or why not?
    – I don’t mind if the potential SM in my case being in a relationship, but I would prefer to know about it, to know what I’m dealing with.

    Do you think feeling ‘cheated on’ is less of a risk for you in Sugarland? Why or why not?
    – I feel that if it’s an arrangement, the SD/SM is allowed to pursue other options meanwhile:)

  890. TXSB says:

    Hi!!!! :) How are you feeling this morning?

  891. RealisticSD says:

    Cakepatty, you don’t need to hold back out of respect for me.

    In my experience, there are a lot of SBs who have only male friends. I think part of it goes along with the thought that the SB thinks she is hottest thing on earth and all women hate to be around her out of envy. I have had several SBs say that pretty much in those exact words.

  892. Just Dee in NC says:

    They’re repeat views, Anna. Even someone with a hidden profile shows up in your “See who’s viewed me” search. But someone who views you more than once only shows up that first time.

    I don’t have many views either, and almost half are repeats.

    BTW, I found a real interesting profile of an SD in Albany.

  893. Anna Molly says:

    I wish some of the SD’s that have looked at my profile would come out of hiding. I don’t have a ton of views, but only 1/3 are showing up when I check to see who viewed me….it’s driving me nuts..lol.

  894. Anna Molly says:

    NC ~ Maybe you should check out the HTC Touch Pro2. It received good reviews and it’s an international smartphone. Just a thought :)

  895. cakepatty says:

    Morning everyone!

    TXSB and NYCsb-

    I have lots of guy friends as well but I think that by not having close girlfriends you are missing out on so much. I have had most of my good girlfriends for at least 10 years. These women are like sisters to me and have my back and vice versa. I know the type of women you are talking about and I avoid them like the plague. Can spot them a mile away.

    You can usually tell right away, they tend to be very competitive about things and will not hesitate to compete with you for a man you are interested in. In which case you should distance yourself from them. But I can’t imagine any of the SBs on this blog being anything but wonderful girlfriends.

    I will admit though that most of my good girlfriends are attractive but not drop dead gorgeous. I am not sure if I could trust a boyfriend or SD around someone like that. The temptation is too great.

    But let’s face it, especially when it comes to pretty young women, men are like kids in a candy store. Hard for them to choose and if they can afford lots of candy most will go for it. I think as SBs we just have to be prepared for that fact and it’s part of being in a NSA. Not to get too attached or jealous and assume they are seeing other people unless they assure you somehow they are not.

    And yes, I agree, if they lie to their wife most likely they will lie to you as well or find ways to justify the cheating in their own mind.

    Like Realistic said “Plus, having an SB is the best thing for my marriage, as I tend to put up with so much more crap from my wife when I know I am cheating on her.”

    That statement concerns me but out of respect I will keep my opinions to myself on this one.

  896. TXSB says:

    Hey! Hmm….I will look it up….I don’t remember hearing about it before. Thanks! :)

  897. Just Dee in NC says:

    You’re so right, Anna Molly – he’s sorry he got caught, and he’s sorry that he could end up losing 50% of everything he has now and that much or more of everything he makes for the next 18 years.

    And hey Y-chromosome people – he married a MODEL, and he’s cheating on her with other actresses and models. Wow, if looks were as important as so many men claim them to be, wouldn’t you think he would have been more than happy to keep it home?

    And a big raspberry to Tiger, his wife, his girlfriends, his buddies, his publicists, and everybody else who allowed him to think that he was too famous to be held accountable for his actions.

  898. TXSB says:

    NYC SB:
    Yep…same here. My “close friends” these days are all men. LOL @ shoe comment. :)

  899. NapaSB says:

    TXSB – look for a CrossFit in your area…..I LOVE it!!

  900. TXSB says:

    Just random stuff….plus I went out last night to dinner and it was cold outside (around 50)…and I think now I’m sick. :(

    On a side note, I’m trying to schedule times with my personal trainer after not seeing him for 1.5 week (he’s injured his foot)….and he’s flirting with me over the texts right now! Gah! GRRR!

  901. NapaSB says:

    Good morning TXSB!! how are you you this morning love?

  902. NYC SB says:

    TXSB – I only have guy friends as well… its better that way… plus they dont need to “borrow” my shoes lol

    Also, yes I hear you on “communication” I wish my gift SD would have had the courtesy of saying “hey I dont want this anymore” rather than me finding out through another SB… I think the “betrayal” hurt more than if he would have done the right thing and broken up with me

  903. Just Dee in NC says:

    Unfortunately, Cheating_SD, that’s the type of behavior that p*sses off a woman and convinces her to drop in on your wife with photos and emails and text messages. It’s far better to get a handle on honest communication. And on the flip side of that is this: Don’t get involved with a woman who has already demonstrated that she’s a manipulative drama queen.

  904. NapaSB says:

    NYGent – :) you just made me MORE excited to show you MY favorites….haha what does that say about me? if you are even here…

  905. Anna Molly says:

    So, Tiger woods has issued a statment saying “I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.”

    Yeah, he regrets getting caught.

  906. TXSB says:

    NC Gent:
    Re: The dry cleaning lady….heh….just another reminder that it’s a small world. :)


    I totally understand what your previous was feeling. I’ve been backstabbed before by female “friends” when it comes to men I’m dating..(in fact, one was my best friend at one point. Thanks to all those experiences, these days I don’t even have any close female friends IRL. As much as I want “girlfriends” to hang out with….the mere thought of being backstabbed for the 3rd time is terrifying…and keeps me from getting too close.


    My SD is married and I’m quite attached to him after being with him for 2 months. However, if for some reason he felt like I wasn’t “the one” for him, then I would hope he would just sit down with me in private and tell me directly. Yes it would hurt me. As much as I love being spoiled by SD, believe it or not I actually am attached to spending time with him as a person. Despite the initial shock and hurt though, with time I will “heal” and move on.

    IMO it’s not different than IRL relationship where girls get their heart broken. It’s not the end of the world. The “hurt” eventually lessens as time passes.

  907. Cheating_SD says:

    Just Dee you’re so right: “A lot of the drama in relationships is created because one person doesn’t know how to communicate honestly with their partner, so they create the drama in order to manipulate the partner into whatever outcome it is they want.” I have done that before because it’s easier than just saying, “I don’t want you any more.”

  908. Just Dee in NC says:

    Why didn’t you sleep, TX?

  909. TXSB says:

    Good morning NC Gent, Sincere SD, Dee, Anna, Irish, Beach_girl, NYGent, Cheating_SD, Cakepatty, NapaSB, and anyone else I’m missing. :)

    Had a long night….barely slept. Catching up on blog/e-mails now.

  910. NYC SB says:

    cakepatty – i did confront him… wish i didnt… caused all sorts of drama … he kept on appologizing and showing up at my place unannounced with flowers, candy and shoes…

    Ny Gent – he emailed an SB friend of mine…

    cheating – valid point… one which i have learned… a cheating man is a cheating man… and if he is doing it to his wife then whats stopping him from doing it to someone he just met… now there are exceptions to this (aka blog SDs)

  911. Just Dee in NC says:

    SincereSD said: … and ready to hit the eject (reject?) button much earlier.

    ROFLMAO! I love the mental image that brings up! I understand what you’re saying, though. A lot of the drama in relationships is created because one person doesn’t know how to communicate honestly with their partner, so they create the drama in order to manipulate the partner into whatever outcome it is they want. It’s exhausting for all concerned. I don’t have the energy to deal with extra drama from someone who is “extra” in my life to begin with – if I’m going to have someone in my life, I want them to get me away from drama and stress.

  912. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Cheating_SD~ I know what you mean but I , as a SB, expect to know. The potential for disease and such. I think being in a mutual beneficial relationship is to be as open and honest as possible.
    Friends with benefits type. Some SDs don’t want a exclusive relationship.
    But look at it this way, if your SB was seeing another SD, would you like to know?

    Sincere~ How have you been? Haven’t seen you in a while!

    Hi everyone , off to work, Chat soon

  913. NYGent says:

    NapaSB: not ridiculous! my fave smaller wineries in Sonoma are Gary Farrell, Lambert Bridge, Hop Kiln.

    NYC SB: you caught him blogging or emailing a profile? Sometimes the cross-currents on the blog get a little tricky . . .

  914. Anna Molly says:

    Hi NYC SB, Dee, NYGent, and cakepatty….hope I didn’t forget anybody :)

  915. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    How the heck to all these SDs have so much free time, especially for multiple SBs? Between work and the blog I don’t have any free time…wait, the blog…light going off.

    Hey: Photogril, cakepatty, Just Dee, NYC SB

  916. Cheating_SD says:

    SincereSD, you’re absolutely right. It’s just hard to see absolutely beautiful SBs on the site and not want to give them a try too. There is just too much temptation. Plus, if I am cheating on my wife and not telling her, can my SB realistically expect me not to cheat on her or to tell her?

  917. cakepatty says:

    Hey NYCsb-

    Sorry to read about your SD with the wandering eye. Did you confront him or keep the info to yourself? Did your SB friend pursue anything with him? Just curious if you care to share

  918. Just Dee in NC says:

    Good morning, everybody, and a special hello to the new SDs here today!

    It would take exceptional circumstances, and an exceptional man, to get me into another LDR right now.

  919. SincereSD says:

    Irish SB says: I definitly think there is a lesser risk of feeling cheated on in sugarland.

    I think there is less likelyhood a SB will cheat but it’s more likely for a SD. The temptation is high due to the number of available SB. I’m getting to the point where I’m tolerating less drama or crap from a SB … and ready to hit the eject (reject?) button much earlier.

    Fwiw, I have been warned by previous SB not to be too chummy with their friends. I guess they’ve had bad experiences with backstabbing friends and unfaithful bf/sd.

    NC Gent says: I need international coverage because of my travels so that limits my phones — excludes the Droid I found out yesterday!

    You must be with Verizon, Sprint or some CDMA carrier so you will need a world phone with 3G capabilities. There should be Droids with both but you should research and try the phones. I prefer the bold but web browsing sucks.

  920. NYC SB says:

    Good morning sugar fam… worke up not feeling under the weather… yay me!

    like the new topic… kuddos stephan

  921. NYC SB says:

    Cheating SD – hmmm been in your situation on the opposite side of the spectrum of course. My gift SD (whom I met in real life) and I have been seeing each other for a while… I was aware of his feelings for me but always held back in reciprocating in fear of him thinking im too emotionally attached. However, once he told me he loved me (he is married) I felt it was appropriate to become more open emotionally with him… Then I caught him on SA talking to one of my SB friends. Now this would not bother me had he said that he wanted someone else. The dishonesty though erased any and all feeling I had for him. It diminished the meaning of his word and I started doubting everything he has ever said to me. (getting off track I know)

    My advice to you is telling your first SB about your concerns… chances are she is more attached to the lifestyle (especially if she has never had it before) than you… sorry harsh but true… it is easy to “fall in love” in a sugar relationship as each time you see your sugar you are exposed to the best side of them… but again chances are you fall in love with the lifestyle rather than the person.

    snbsd – I know you directed your question to TX but I want to give you a perspective as well… I have had several SD most of which have lasted in the 3-4 month range… anything longer than that (in my opinion) exposes you to “feelings” and as most men are married on the site they are trying to avoid this from both sides (see cheating SDs post)… on the other hand… maybe I get boring after 3-4 months lol … or just maybe once a man gets a taste of the sugar bowl they wanna go and chase some more… it is inherent in their nature after all

  922. NapaSB says:

    ….i feel like everytime I post anything on here everyone decides to take 10 minutes off…you know, just enough time for me to feel like I have said something extra ridiculous 😉

  923. Irish SB says:

    Hey Tru! Yeh im usually on same time as you i was just experiencing a fe technical problems!

  924. NapaSB says:

    p.s. Tokyo is having a down day I think…but I suppose it is a Wednesday

  925. NapaSB says:

    NYGent – Hello, I dont know that we have ever “officially met” but I have definitely stalked your comments on the blog…I do not live in Napa, but rather in Fairfield…so about 30 minutes outside….I love St Helena and actual Napa…I saw that you were in Sonoma but I tend to be a tad shy so I didnt say anything next time you are int he srea though I would love to show you some of my favorite vineyards in that area…I spend a lot of time in Napa and the surrounding areas so I think I might be able to show you some places you havent been too…or just havent gotten around to.

  926. Tru says:

    Hey IrishSB I feel like I keep missing you, how have you been?

    SDN – You have mail!

  927. Irish SB says:

    Hey SDN – Thanks! My computer was having none of the refreshing lark yesterday so study over the blog!

    Heya Anna Molly – theres still a few left of ye!

  928. Irish SB says:

    Freshly different? Refreshingly different i meant!

  929. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Irish!! You are here…missed you.

  930. Irish SB says:

    Good morning AM, SG2, NC Gent, CheatingSD, Napa SB.

    I will learn how to bold my text one of these days so for that fact il just give a mixed answer to all 3 QS!

    I am currently single. I would prefere to know whether my SD is in a realtionship or not, i think its importnat to know your boundaries, limitations and staus before finding out the hard way. I dont see what there is to be gained from lying.
    I definitly think there is a lesser risk of feeling cheated on in sugarland. (Although do ask me again in a few months time! but for now im sticking to my 1st answer) From what i have read many of the SBs that are here have felt cheated on; or cheated out of time, energy and expense in former relationships including myself. Getting back into the style of dating is not something im looking for right now. SO being in a relationshiip that is clearly defined from the beginning with terms and conditions is freshly different instead of crawling around in the dark only for it come crashing down around you in a few months or years time.
    That is only a newbie perspective though.

  931. NYGent says:

    NapaSB: where exactly in Napa? I have a place on the Sonoma Coast
    and was just there over T-giving. I think my favorite town in Napa is
    Yountville, lots of great restos there. Bistro Jeanty, Bouchon, Redd.
    Of course French Laundry but never been . . . Do you find there are
    many SDs in that neck of the woods, I would think a lot of ex-dot
    commers and retired vintners who got out while the getting was good .
    . . Might b