9 years ago
Sugar Expectations

9 years ago
Sugar Expectations

In this online ‘virtual marketplace’, the demand for sugar is high.

Everyone has a different experience here in Sugarland… here’s one example of how a Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby arrangement can develop:

Day 1 Initial message

Day 1-4 Mutual interest confirmed

Day 1-6 Planning of possible arrangement and/or 1st date

Day 1-14 Date

How do arrangements develop for you? Which stages have you gotten to (i.e., initial message, mutual interest, planning, date, etc.)?

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885 Responses to “Sugar Expectations”

  1. Sweetpea says:

    Merry Christmas everyone!!

    Will be back again.

    I like this saying:
    “Accept the challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory.” — General George S. Patton

  2. Oh yeah…. I am sure your SB can tell you more about it and help you out if you are a bit shy…. You both will benefit…

  3. Mike – I think SB’s have learned to set the amount higher then we want when in reality we are open and reasonable. My experience has been that if it is set at that all I get is scum, hey baby lets get it on today, free for lunch and naughty today, and other disgusting emails. If I increase the amount it instantly filters out whom I receive mail from.

    My note to all SD’s too is grooming is a plus. Shower, light cologne, shave, trim (invest in a nose/ear hair trimmer and wax in all the right places….) I know, I know many of you say waxing or shaving it isn’t your generation but did you know your family jewels can look 2-3 inches bigger? Yes Sir, I wouldn’t lie….Your eyebrows will look stunning and that long hair growing out of your cheek will be gone…..yeah, all SB’s clap hands! Now, that alone SD’s should have you scrambling to that spa speed dialing your local salon and/or seeking out a skilled Esthetician and taking care of business… Not trying to sound shallow but good grooming for all is a must and everyone will notice….trust me…

    Merry Christmas.

    I am going to relax on the beach in La Jolla today!

  4. SincereSD says:

    IRL SD,

    I don’t think I can add much more to the discussion other than the following. The average and median income in Poland is fairly low so she is either:
    – from a wealthy family and doesn’t need the money or
    – on a scholarship or exchange program so she is barely making ends meet

    In any case, I know of a SD in Montreal who “preys” on exchange students at one of the local colleges. He’s a scum but it suppose they help each other out for a short amount of time … So who am I to impose my judgement.

  5. cleo says:

    Muse: interesting… but then i used a guy recommended by my picky ancient aunt :)

  6. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    There is a new topic everyone :)

  7. SincereSD says:

    DesertBunny Has anyone ever received a message from another SA member that was SO amazing, you just couldn’t get it out of your head?

    I have. It didn’t turn out so well because the emails were so good and expectations were set too high. At the end of the day, she turned out to be a master manipulator. (Not trying to be Scrooge but just offering some words of wisdom.)

    Anna Molly *397377* I’m thinking about trying to find an IRL SD (not to be confused with the blogger) We have a small airport here that caters to private jets and their owners.

    AM, what a great idea! You’ll have your pick of the litter there.

  8. Mike says:

    I am taking a break from the SD world for now, so many great great great people and I think I am about $100MM short having what it would take to make all the sexy, fun, hilarious and exciting women happy…that said, I would like to share my learnings so far…

    First of all, I am generally one to take
    the “guys” side on things and having gone through a few of the male SD profiles on here I am bit embarrassed by my gender…seriously fellas, no wonder women want to get paid to hang with us. Some thoughts:

    1. How about we all put our shirts back on, take down the photos of us with our cars/planes/boats and show the ladies how much fun we are?!?

    2. For those in the successful category, let’s not belabor the point – how we made our money and such is likely boring to many / most. Let’s save the work talk for when we are all together, having beers and telling stories.

    3. Finally, and I know this one from my own bad behavior, if they send us their pics, and our situation has changed or we are not interested, a polite no thanks is better than no reply.

    And for my lady friends…a few thoughts on what – from my perspective – may help you land the perfect SD…

    1. Have goals! Seriously, I don’t mind helping, giving allowances and such. Just don’t spend your days waiting for the next monthly deposit while talking about the next vacation, spa trip, purse or car you want. Show me you are on the path to somewhere better than where you are today and I will help you 100x more than you could realize.

    2. Get some sort of job – any job! And I am not talking about “going to auditions”. I mean something where you get paid for the time you spend there. The value here is you will be demonstrating that you are not free-loading, but rather, you willing to put in the effort to achieve your goals. When the effort is there then we are no longer supporting you, we are investing in you, and any successful person remembers that others invested in them too along the way – and will be more willing to help…

    3. Be on time – when you are simply dating you have free reign to do whatever you want – be late, bratty, crabby etc etc. As an SB all I ask is that you are thoughtful that I have little free time and spending it together is important to me. Being two hours late, tired from shopping or upset that you didn’t get a good massage is more like dating than SB life…

    4. Take the initiative – make plans for us. Pick a restaurant you want to go to, make the reservations, etc etc. Come to us in the evenings, pick us up at the airport on occasion. Once again, this isn’t dating and doing so makes things so much easier – life is easy for SD = very happy SB…

    5. Bring a small thought of appreciation on occasion – stop and get a bottle of wine or such on the way over. It doesn’t have to be expensive but just the thought you think of us is very meaningful and will be overly rewarded.

    6. Avoid the Bait and Switch – sometimes to “get started” or fill a near-term financial need one will agree to an arrangement for a month or two with the hopes of getting a “pay raise” a month or two later. This usually shows up as an ask to increase an allowance or a series of one-time events (sick cousins, car break-downs, etc) that require funding in excess of what was agreed. The special thing about these types of relationships is that they allow for total transparency, take the opportunity to be so, ask for what you need/want and find someone who will support that vs. agreeing to something now and hoping to renegotiate shortly thereafter. It just builds bad feelings on both sides and rarely ends well.

    7. Know what you are asking for and appreciate it once you find it…Let’s take a $5K/month request for example. That is $60K annually or $100K in pre-tax earnings. $100K in pre-tax earnings puts someone in the top .05% of wage earners in the US and generally WELL in excess of what the SB is currently earning. Should you be lucky enough to find a great SD through whom you live a more enjoyable life, be thoughtful that your SD feels appreciated…if you’d like to keep him that is…

    I am sure there are many more little things – and please understand these are only from my perspective – and hence my break. Hope you find what is perfect for you and I appreciate all the comments I receive on the above.

    Now back to enjoying my break…

  9. Muse says:

    NYC SB – You’re a doll. I am, however, willing to eat all the brownies it takes to get there.

    AM – Of course! If the weather is nice, we can go to the restaurant as the atmosphere is lovely. If it’s nasty, we can just order in and let someone else deal with the weather. :)

    Cleo- I do that too, except the movers are my friends. Most people I know who have trusted movers with their clothes/books/etc have had at least 1 box/bag “misplaced” en route and never recovered. I am definitely having movers deal with the furniture but my important stuff is being moved by me and my friends.

  10. MoonPatrol says:

    Anna Molly
    I’ve had so many people distrust me with wanting my driver license number to check my background to not wanting a check because it could be hot.
    Your right that men need to put cash on the table sometimes. i carry a lot of cash with me because the bank doesn’t do much with interest.Talkers will definitely create all kinds of illusions if you let them. maybe you could stop them and say ” OK with that issue , we’ll continue the process once that money or promise has been met.”
    I am lucky in that I have a lot of money right now (in my own scale not big time) and suffered a lot for it because work for me is not fun most of the time and very irritating and painful. So when I give someone money I expect a recognition that that green pulp they just received don’t grow on a tree. ANyway I can hardly handle this SUgar Daddy life as I have been blood sucked by all except my current Lady who I have not given to yet.

  11. CASB says:

    Merry Christmas Eve all!

    Browsed quickly to try to catch up, but have so much to do so can’t fully catch up right now.

    IRLSD – I agree with all of the other posters and also that she may find it creepy if she doesn’t know about the lifestyle. It’s better to broach the subject in person so she doesn’t just assume you’re a perv. No offense! :) You just never know what other cultures think. And if her english is not so good, it’s better to be in person to SEE that she doesn’t understand than for her to pick out certain words here and there in an email to vaguely understand and be scared away from. As far as the job thing, maybe you could offer her a job if she’s not interested in the SD/SB thing? Bring up the SD/SB thing saying that you know you had mentioned a job previously but you wanted to explain better and go into the details. If she’s not interested or unsure you could offer her a choice between that and a job. But yes, do dinner first.

    NYC SB – LOL @ “hot broke bf” I also had a pot email me (after I sent an initial message) saying that he was looking to eventually have a traditional relationship from an arrangement if it developed and what my thoughts were on that. His profile (yes, in CA) says he’s 30. I told him that I’m looking for an arrangement, but an open to more developing out of an ARRANGEMENT down the road if both parties were interested.

    Beach – LOL too funny! I’m glad your snuggie is thick and warm. Maybe they go cheapo on the “collegiate” snuggies because the material costs more. I’m jealous. I hate to say it, I kinda want a real snuggie now!

  12. MoonPatrol says:

    Thanks for your pointed wit about my situation with a Baby that “owes” me.
    I am really not in search for evening of the score and told her up front on our 1st date, that for me its a turn-on to give money because I feel needed. Please don’t tell me I need to see a psychologist because I am mentally together and have lived alone for most of my 46 years with out anyone being dependent on me.
    I just want to know in her mind what she meant when she mentioned that I was confused and had failed to satisfy her financial needs. SO that being said by her, I did just that; gave her some money and haven’t seen her or heard from her since. I still don’t think she is a crook, but she is unable to really grab onto the situation and take initiative. The first time we met was last Friday and now its Thursday and already I feel like its been a month. I just hope I get to talk to her At Least on the phone, so I can say goodbye or whats next because I want her to remember me as a man without any malice, and hope that she finds security and happiness. I really really do not want any kind of misfortune for her. heres the question I called her and texted her once on Monday. Should I call again and see if she answers? When do I give up on my end as a caller? I Just want to see the end credits of this movie and talk to her about there being a sequel or not.

  13. I’m not going to put faith in what people tell me anymore.

    If someone says they are really into me and wants me to be their SB, they will have to show they are into me and want me to be their SB.

    Actions speak louder than words after all :)

  14. It is nice to receive a well thought out email. :)

    I’m happy for you DB :)

  15. DesertBunny says:

    Has anyone ever received a message from another SA member that was SO amazing, you just couldn’t get it out of your head? And I’m not talking about amazing as in what they were offering monetarily, but amazing in the thoughtfulness, and the amount of creativity. Something that REALLY made you feel special… like WOW! Ahhhhh! I meant it! I love SA!


  16. cleo says:

    anna molly that’s a great idea!

  17. cleo says:

    Flo Rida i don’t give a hoot how many people you are. i don’t care a whit if you *are* three other people because all of them contribute good posts to the discussions.

    that said, i have always chosen to believe that people are who they present themselves to be until proven otherwise. i see no reason to change now.

    that said… geeze woman… make my profile better! coach me! introduce me to an awesome SD *g*

  18. Thanks TT :)

    I’ll let you know how it goes :)

  19. Good luck AM!! I definitely think you are on the right track – smart cookie 😉

  20. I’m thinking about trying to find an IRL SD (not to be confused with the blogger)

    We have a small airport here that caters to private jets and their owners. They fly through all the time and they are very discreet and hush, hush.

    Anyway, they have a nice cafe there so maybe I’ll try getting a job at the cafe and see if I get lucky.

  21. Don’t leave Flo…..who will I speak German to now… :(

  22. UncommonSB says:

    Flo Rida: I for one have enjoyed your input for the very short time that I’ve been visiting this blog. From what you’ve posted just now, you sound very helpful and generous with your time to introduce others and help revamp profiles. I wish someone would be so kind to offer such support and be helpful like that to me! I’m fairly new to SA, so my input may be irrelevant to you, but I hope you don’t leave because of one or two people being catty.

  23. Aww Flo – I wish you wouldn’t leave…you are a wealth of knowledge and we all love you! You bring a lot of sunshine and wisdom to the blog…

  24. Flo Rida says:

    Well I reached LA (city changed) drove over 2,000 miles in 2 days. If anyone thinks i’m lieing I can email the Hertz receipt (names blacked out of course). We came 2nd out of 4 teams.

    1 – Newbie is prepared to send a work email, & give a work phone to prove who he is. He’s a partner in a professional services firm.

    2 – I have blogged on first date safety, travel safety, meeting SD @ home safety, identity safety – who would I do that if I wanted to pou-nce.

    3 – TXSB, NYGent, NYCSB, Beach, VC all have asked to meet me – i’ve declined – if I want to pou-nce doesn’t that require meeting people – I will NOT meet with anyone on the site during my NDA

    3 – I have introduced a SB in Memphis to her current BF – SD (if necessary I can ask her to confirm that)

    4 – I have coached a LA SB (not LASB) who is in process of getting a $200k allowance as an investment – I can ask her to testify for me.

    5 – I gave Gemi a hall of fame profile (anyone who has read her previous profile will tell you it’s night & day different)

    6 – I have shared priceless info from CIA station chiefs’ counter terrorism officers, I-bankers that NO one else can blog on.

    7 – I know the real identity of 3 current bloggers & 2 former bloggers – will I disclose these – NEVER (because I will not harm anyone). One blogger (who has not posted recently) knows who I am because I trust her.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Flo- Frankly my feelings are not worth posting after reading you post the non sugary F-U to myself and CASB. The funny thing is I wasn’t talking about you in my post. Hmmm Me thinks thou does protest too quickly. Not sure why you would jump to that conclusion. But since this never involved you I will not pose the question to you. I am sure you will surface again, you always do. With yet another identity. Put your big girl panties on and just be yourself. Sans the name calling.

  25. UncommonSB says:

    Moon: Interesting choice of words “the other is way in debt to me”, but you are acknowledging that perhaps you are spending more than what you should (or are comfortable with) before establishing compatibility… I don’t mean any offense, but an ideal SD/SB arrangement (for me anyway) is not a ‘I did this now you do that’ exchange. It’s an actual arrangement and a mutually agreeable upfront understanding to fulfill each others needs and expectations.

    I have different perspective I guess. I wouldn’t phrase it as an SD or SB ‘owes’ each other anything. For me, I am interested in an SD who enjoys mentoring me and financially helping me to achieve my goals in life. In turn, I enjoy spending time with an SD and providing them with the companionship and attention that they desire.

  26. DesertBunny says:

    I would like to extend my most earnest ‘THANK YOU!’ to SA! I am continuously amazed at the extraordinary people that I have been blessed to encounter due to this site! I am so blown away by the intelligence, and generosity of knowledge and spirit; that I am overwhelmed!

    I have a great depth of feeling for the people of SA (creator, staff, SD’s, and SB’s :)! My gratitude is abundant!


  27. MoonPatrol ~ I would just tell her that you feel it isn’t working out. I wouldn’t tell her about the other SB though. It’s good to be up front and honest, but I also feel that some things are just better left unsaid. That is MHO :)

  28. photogirl says:

    I am all for the SD under the tree sans snuggie…as I am sure he can keep me plenty warm 😉

  29. MoonPatrol says:

    Wait fro the SD to call you back when he’s totally well so he doesn’t get you sick and then maybe meet him.

    Has anyone had two Sugar Babies at once? I find myself in a pattern of overlapping women and getting started with one and finding out too late that she’s a poor choice and then blowing her off after spending a few or maybe too much $$ on her. Then I have the other one which is still there and realize the same thing and start looking for another. If I continue this pattern, I will go broke in 6 months. How do I terminate a relation in the bud? I think I already sort of know to not give $$ until you know the person and she knows you. I have my eyes on two right now and one I haven’t given $$ and the other is way in debt to me for what I have already given her. I like her so what good is it for me to blow her off? I’m not going to give her $$ until something major happens from her side of the playing field.

  30. james.m says:

    Mimi – once is chance, twice is coincidence. don’t worry until the third time. When you do meet, you’ll probably hit it off, he’ll admit he was nervous about meeting you and cancelled, and wishes he hadn’t, and you’ll laugh about it in your sugar shack…

    BG – AM is right. We want snuggie pictures. Post it on your profile. what screams “cuddler” louder than a snuggie? **Midwest, please note: it was AM who asked if it opened up the front, not me!**

  31. I would love to see some snuggie pics :)

    Can you wear the snuggie with the opening in the front?

  32. TXSB says:

    IRL SD:
    Would you mind sharing what your “process” is/was when you searched for SBs on SA? Is there a particular age range you’re seeking? How long did you spend getting to know the SB before meeting her IRL? How many dates did you go on before offering her an arrangement? I know some blog SDs have offered arrangements after the 1st date…..while there are others who literally spend weeks to “get to know” a SB. I’m curious as to what your “process” is/was.

    Good to hear that! :)

    LOL…I think we need pics of this red snuggie!

  33. Boston Honey says:

    INRSD – It’s a dichotomy isn’t it? Power, Sex, Money, Beauty….. Sex will always sell. The equation is clear successful, powerful, benefactors looking for young, sexy, aspiring models, aspiring actresses that one can pamper, spoil, or perhaps help financially. Thus, the sheer irony of it all is that we are all on here seeking something yet feel offended when the power changes. (I.E. SB realizes SD only wants sex…SD realizes SB only wants money….) Yet, then we question our ulterior motives, values, and what mutually beneficial means to us. Effective communication helps greatly. Thus, you are going to meet women who believe that they should be showered with money as someone called them Generation E. Generation entitled… It takes two to tango…..and we all have opened Pandora’s box lets just not get burned as we are all playing with fire. Best of luck to you in your newest endeavor! Keep us posted with updates….


    Boston Honey

  34. TXSB ~ I’m not going anywhere :)

  35. LASB says:

    NYC SB – That one hits a sore spot for me too! Pay your bills = unworthy of an SD? Gimme a break. That’s just his cheap-a** way of getting out of an allowance and still getting some action with a very beautiful, sophisticated lady as yourself. Reminds me of the “you are overqualified” line after a job interview.
    And my thoughts exactly to the “I already have a hot broke bf for that…” Who gripes over the $47. Probably was in NYC on business, pretending that it was just to see you, since obviously he can’t afford it on his own. Worse yet, he may just be ridiculously cheap, which is even less attractive. I had a BF worth over $50 mil, who insisted that I used my student ID when we went to the theatre. Really?!!!! Also interesting that you mention the age thing. The bait and switchers that I’ve met/spoken with/emailed also happened to be younger. Personally, I’d love to find an SD over 45.
    Anyhow, just ranting here. You are beautiful and sophisticated and I’m so glad that you won’t settle for some idiot who embarrasses my state.

  36. IRLSD~ It all depends of the SB! I had a SD for 15 years… we never had a problem with keeping each other interested! It’s what you do to make it fun.
    Hopefully it will work with your pot SB. Good luck to you!

    TXSB~ I know, The Red snuggie, I cracked up so bad when I opened my gift today… But I can’t wait to try it…. It’s in the wash right now!!! 😀
    I think I may try it tonight

  37. IRLSD says:

    I never said all SBs, just “so many SBs”. Point being that many SBs on the site (not necessarily the blog) have no idea what a “mutually beneficial relationship” is.

  38. Sweetpea says:

    Boston Honey: do you care to share what book you are reading? I agree that what make a different in a person is a mindset and attitude. A big lesson and a great investment for personal enrichment.

    Mimi: Yeah, I would give it another try, I will give a benefit of doubt at most 3 times and move on like TT said–what do you have to lose?

    Holiday mood 😉

  39. IRLSD – You have to carefully choose your SB to make sure she is one of the ones who realize what the SD/SB relationship is about. Those of us on the blog know (we don’t think our mere existence is worthy of being showered with money). I wish you the best of luck with this young lady – hopefully she will be receptive and it will work out. But please don’t lump all of the SB’s on this site together – there are many of us who don’t have a ‘princess attitude’.

  40. IRLSD says:

    TXSB, if it doesn’t work out, then she ends up where she is today.

    I would like a long-term SB, but have not yet met anyone who can keep me interested long enough.

    Also, I am not totally concerned about offending her with my offer. If she doesn’t like the offer, she doesn’t have to accept it and it’s not like we’re ever going to see each other again. And if she does like the offer, well then, the ball goes into her court to keep me on my toes until she finishes school.

    Also, the SBs have to realize that this type of relationship is mutually beneficial, meaning that it has to work for both people and keep them both happy. So many just see the dollar signs rolling and never pause to think why the SD is in the relationship. Or perhaps they think that there mere existence is worthy of being showered with money.

  41. mimi says:

    Thanks ya’ll.

    I’m just driving myself crazy with this since I did get stood up by a pot before. We’d made plans to meet and I’d gone to wait for him. I waited 30 mins to call and find out if he was coming and he said he changed his mind and that I wasn’t what he was looking for. But I sometimes feel a little vindicated as he’s still looking and still hasn’t had any luck in finding his “perfect” SB.

  42. TXSB says:

    I’m with you on the “no one gets nudie pics with my face in them”. Even with BFs…lol…things change. There are too many horror stories out there of ex-BF’s, and even ex-husbands leaking “private” pictures once the relationship goes sour.

    I’m jealous of your red snuggie!

  43. P.S I DID cancel on a pot a few weeks ago and it was pretty last minute. I was sick..thought I would be better in a week and I wasn’t – I got worse. I thought he would have thought I was a flake – when really it was just innocent as I did really want to meet him and had every intention of doing so. He is giving me a ‘second chance’ albeit after the holidays since we have both been crazy busy…

  44. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Hello again all – taking a break from the festivities…

    Again, my two cents here (we SB’s seem to have a lot of change :) )
    TXSB – don’t worry about it – just tell him it’s not what you’re looking for and move on. One of my first real potentials was a great guy – we got along and I think it would have been an amazing relationship, but, he wanted a mistress and didn’t want to “pay for sex” – which is completely NOT the idea of these relationships, but he just didn’t seem to get that. He’s now back on looking for someone else.

    On the bright side – I have received a couple of emails which seem to be coherent and understanding of the SD/SB relationship. Definite maybes…

  45. TXSB says:

    Sorry to hear you’re frustrated and taking a break….hopefully it will get better. I may have missed it but you’ll still be with “us” here right??

    What the harm in meeting him? I can’t tell you how many time I feel great…but wake up the next morning feeling like crap. Or in the middle of the day, all of a sudden I get a migraine. I have cancelled appointments at the last moment b/c I think I’ll “make it”….but then realize I just don’t feel good enough. My vote is to give him 1 more chance… :)

  46. mimi – I would probably give it another try to meet…you never know. You both canceled once – so you have your ‘gimme’ 😛 If he was faking being sick, that is not cool though since he didn’t try to even call you. Nonetheless, as long as he has been respectful, and it is someone you are interested in and comfortable with – what do you have to lose? IMHO at least you will know the truth.

  47. NYC SB says:

    AM – I totally understand you… the search does take time… if you take some time off you will be surprised at the emails you might accumulate (leave the profile unhiden) … at that time just reply to ones that really catch your eye… and i mean REALLY catch your eye

  48. AM – I KNOW! I think I said the same thing last month lol…just need to purge the built up negativity from the fake SD’s, give yourself a moment, and come back with positivity! Don’t let fakers ruin it for your soon to be SD 😉

  49. mimi says:

    Hello all,

    I’ve been debating something and since so far I’ve gotten some sound advice from you all, I’d like a little help on this.

    I was supposed to meet with a pot yesterday. When I called to confirm, he tells me that he’s sick and can’t make it. I wish him luck getting well etc. The problem is, I think he’s jerking my chain and/or lying. The thing is, I’ve rescheduled on him before (had a good reason for it though. I’m a lab assistant and my job comes first. If I have something I need to finish, I need to do it).

    What I’ve been debating is whether I should meet up with him if he does try and reschedule something with me. I feel as if he was truly sick, he would have called me a lot earlier in the day to inform me of the situation.

    Any thoughts on what I should do?

  50. TT ~ I am a patient person, it’s the weeding out and dealing with BS that I have to deal with day after day that is getting to me.

  51. Boston Honey says:

    Almost ready to leave and drive six hours…too bad I didn’t have someone fun to share the time with….lol…

    INRSD…I feel that perhaps you aren’t challenged mentally? Perhaps you need to spice it up some. How will this be any different if she accepts the offer? You might be bored in a few weeks too. I think you need the gal that is truly an enigma to you and that perhaps you need one of high intelligence to keep you on your toes?

    NYCSB – There are plenty of fish in the sea. Within the first year the owner of this site had over 100,000 members thus I can only imagine the potential SD’s out there who may be lurking or just shopping today. As for SB’s, as the book quoted one SD saying, “This is the best damn fishing hole I have ever been in.” So yes SB’s, the competition is fierce. There are always beautiful, sexy women in the world and always will be, make sure you invest in yourself and engaging your mind as beauty fades. Yet, it takes the truly intelligent women to transcend this experience to the next level. Another book I just read was about a women who received over 10-20k per weekend jet setting all over the world to tropical and exotic locations. Not because of her amazing looks she said she was good looking not a knockout. Because of her attitude and understanding of the human psyche….that my dear is truly what it is all about. IMHO. Of course there are others only interested in eye candy and trophy SB’s…If I was a SD I think that is a piece of cake…


    Boston Honey

  52. Oh And guess what??? I got A …Snuggie lmao from a client lol
    it’s red, of course… and it’s not see threw… It’s thick and plush… I can’t wait to try it lol… A blanket with sleeves!

    James m~ I only need the SD now!! HAHAH…

  53. TXSB says:

    IRL SD:
    I don’t believe this girl will base her entire life plan based on what you told her. But being a struggling foreign college student, I can guarantee you that you “job” offer has her excited, and the odds that she already told her friends/family out of excitement is a strong possibility.

    What I’m still surprised by is the fact that you offered her an arrangement without knowing *her*. It’s not different than someone on SA e-mailing me and offering me an arrangement without ever meeting me IRL…..heck my SA profile tells people more information about me than what you know so far about this girl.

    How do you know that YOU will like her personality? What if after the 1st date….or even after the 1st month….you find her boring? Then what? You just drop her? I’m going to assume that you’re not going to keep supporting her if the arrangement doesn’t “work” on your end. I may have missed it…but I don’t recall anywhere in your letter where you state that you’re (and her) are free to end the arrangement anytime she likes. With a foreign exchange student, *IF* she accepts your offer, and if you end it after a few weeks or a month or two b/c YOU don’t feel chemistry anymore or for whatever reason, she’s going to be a really bad place financially.

    The language barrior also concerns me…..how fluent is she in English? I think back to what it was like for me while I was learning English, and trying to understand the American culture and all the “inside/indirect” sayings/meanings. Her being new to the U.S., she *may not* understand your interests, your jokes, your taste in certain things……are you ok with that in a SB? Forget things fizzlings out after a few weeks….how to you know things will fizzle in the 1st week if she says yes?

    When you were on SA, how long did you talk to a pot SB before you offered her an arrangement? With all due respect…if things always fizzle out for you after a few weeks…perhaps you should spend a more time getting to know the girl before offering an arrangement.

    ** On a side note IRLSD, I just re-started my SD search a few days ago…I’ve gotten quite a few e-mails and am exchanging messages with a few pots. So at least for me, it doesn’t seem too slow….problem for me isn’t quantity….the quality sucks.

  54. Taz~ I know, Four Hours YAY 😀

    Anna~ things will get better, i know it will!

  55. I must be alone in here…. :(

    Muse, if you’re lurking somewhere, I was wondering if we could try that Indian place you were telling me about when I come see you on the 12th?

  56. Hi AM! And understood. It can be taxing. Take your break (you will be back 😉 ), enjoy the holidays, and relax! Come back with a new perspective and outlook for the New Year…and trust me I know – patience is overrated 😛

  57. Hi BG :)

    Hi Taz :)

    Well, nothing has happened really. I’m just tired of answering emails just to have nothing happen. I hate wasting time and it seems like that’s all I’ve been doing lately.

    Now, if there is a serious SD lurking out there somewhere who is truely interested in me and only me and wants to offer me an arrangement then I’ll talk, but I’m not actively seeking. I have my profile hidden from search, but I’m keeping it linked here along with my profile number just in case…lol.

  58. cleo says:

    Boston Honey: oh just a little bump in ontario near blue mountain… which is fine, with my still recovering ankles i’m not up to double diamonds these days. next year though :)
    IRLSD: try a girl on the blog, they’ll make you work for it


  59. james – I would be happy with an amazing SD and NO SNUGGIE 😛

  60. IRLSD ~ Hello :)

    Maybe you’re seeing your SB’s too often and that’s why things tend to fizzle out.

    Is it the challenge of getting the girl that is the major turn on for you? Is this why things tend to fizzle out after a few weeks?

    Sounds like to me it’s more about the challenge instead of the girl. Once you’ve gotten her it’s not a challenge anymore so you lose interest. JMHO though and I’m not trying to offend or anything like that….I’m not that way. I’m not here to make anyone mad or hate me :)

  61. Hey BG – almost only FOUR hours left for you sweetie!!!

  62. james.m says:

    IRLSD They’re all sitting home hoping to find a snuggie under their tree. Especially if it comes with an SD in it!

  63. NYC SB~ I’m so sorry Girl, I know there is a SD for you out there!

    Anna~ what happened ? I know it’s hard and there are a lot of fakes out there, but you can’t get discouraged. It will happen! 😀 keep strong!

    Hi James m, Taz, MoonPatrol, and everyone else i missed!

  64. Sweetpea says:

    Good morning everybody!!!

    Boston Honey: Thanks for sharing about the picture, what you suggest is a good idea. haha…Sometimes I don’t understand why some SD needs more pictures after the initial few are sent. A real SD will take a little effort to make the first date nice and memorable, so it shows the mentality or the character of a SD if he cares enough just to have a nice date with a pot SB. I don’t mean to have a candle light dinner, but a public place that is nice, classy and quiet for chatting and meeting. And yes, if he concerns only how much he has to pay for the drink, gosh, how can he be a pot SD!!

    IRLSD: I think the majority responses to your situations make sense. They are well explained and suggested. My 2 cents worth also, you have a 50/50% chances on either side, depending on which side she is on. You hit the jackpot if she turns out to be SB type of person, or you scare her off if she does not appreciate this sort of arrangement in her own belief or value. I wish you best of the luck :)

    Doesn’t it sound like a job interview HR while seeking pot SD or SB? haha…

  65. IRLSD says:

    BTW, is the website (not the blog) slow or is it just me? I have sent out a bunch of e-mails and only one has even been read. I figure SBs are busy doing last-minute X-mas shopping. But next month when the credit card bills come, I will be getting instantaneous responses, lol.

  66. IRLSD says:

    Agreed. I’ll tell her I need her personal assistance. Her English is poor enough she won’t notice the nuance.

    Honestly, what is so special about her is that she is cute, plus it’s the challenge. SA has lost its challenge for me. Meet SB, make her an offer, no one ever refuses it, relationship lasts a few weeks, and things just fizzle out.

  67. NYC SB says:

    MoonPatrol – I am not even going to consider a traditional relationship…

    Again this goes back to what I talked about a while back… a woman who pays her bills to some “SDs” seems unworthy of being an SB…

    sorry guys just a bit frustrated… going to stick to a pot at least 15 years my senior from now on

  68. james.m says:

    TT – love the pun: personal assistance rather than personal assistants! I’m sure IRLSD is looking for assistance!

  69. MoonPatrol says:

    I would only approach women that have the “I want a mutually beneficial relationship” flag flying. Not everyone believes that sugars are one of their options for relationships and not knowing your mindset you risk offending her.
    Whats so great about her anyway? Just asking.
    NYC SB:
    That guy kind of assumes that smart articulate women can’t be SB’s. You can never have a traditional relationship with him anyway because he’s trying to manipulate the conditions.

  70. Hello Sugar Fam! Happy Christmas Eve to all!!!

    IRLSD – I think our bloggers have given you wonderful advice. NYCSB had a good point about saying the position is for a personal assistance and then explaining what it entails…still truthful :)

  71. NYC SB says:

    AM – a lot are just looking for a low key gfe while providing an allowance…

  72. NYC SB ~ Do you find that most of the single men on SA are looking for traditional relationships?

  73. NYC SB says:

    so cali “pot” really likes me… i get the following message “you are unlike the women i have met on the site. it is clear to me that a smart, articulate, well put woman such as yourself does not belong on here. with the job that you have it doesnt seem like you need the help either. so would you be open to pursuing a traditional relationship?”

    sorry cali pot but i already have a hot broke bf for that…

  74. Boston Honey says:

    LOL, you better go pack them girl. Will you be in NH, ME or VT? Yeah, I used to get 60% off all wear, skis, etc…when at the mountain being on the Senior Team.. Miss those amazing deals…. :-(

    Boston Honey

  75. NYC SB says:

    IRLSD – nice letter but it leaves no mention of the mutually beneficial part of the relationship. you dont want her thinking that you will just support her life without anything in return.

    Best approach would be to meet her… maybe you tell her the job is a personal assistant… and then explain to her how it would work…

  76. cleo says:

    Boston Honey: omg thanks i totally forgot to pack ski stuff and i’m going on the weekend! my skis are at my folks already (they live 20min fromt he hill, i’m two hours away so…) and i would have forgotten pants/goggles/etc!

  77. cleo says:

    CASB: i hear that. i figure if i can ride 25 miles in 90 minutes (working up to 30 now that my ankles are finally fixed) and see the muscles in my shoulders when i move? that’s athletic. a guy who can walk for ten minutes before he starts panting? not so much.

    now i’m imagining my body with no muscle… still stacked but oh is the butt sad looking!

    that said? currently VERY happy cause the christmas eight *cough*ten*cough* turned into four! what an awesome xmas bonus that is – lol
    Anna Molly: yeah i’ll log in on occasion but i’m not sending any more emails for a while.
    Boston Honey: i don’t send shots with pink bits exposed (okay the lips on my face sure) … the most anyone will get is a bikini shot and that’s damn unlikely unless we go to the beach TOGETHER

    and no one gets to have nudie pics of me with my face in them, who knows what they will DO with them after!

  78. Boston Honey says:

    Packing for my ski trip and visit to the family.

    Ski Bunny on the slopes….yeah… How can I go? Lets just say I have friends in snowy places… 😉

    Skis – Check
    Spyder Wear – Check
    Bogner Fur Hat – Check
    Sexy Dale Sweater w/snowflake – Check
    Tecnica Polar Fur Boots – Check
    Sexy New Bikini for hot tubbin’ and martini’s with girlfriends – Check
    Weim Puppy with Santa Costume, duck, and cage going to see my parents – Check
    Presents – Check
    Glock – Check….

    Boston Honey

  79. Okay everyone – I’m off for a bit more family time before I hop on yet another jet in the morning! Catch up with y’all later!

  80. Yes James, thank you for the lovely compliments

  81. Boston Honey says:

    I agree with James.

    James M…Thanks for the compliment earlier… 😉

    Boston Honey

  82. IRLSD – My concern is, what if you meet with her and don’t like her? As far as I can tell from the post, you’ve seen her once for maybe 10 minutes? I would really hold off on the email and just ask her to meet you for dinner. In college, I had a man email me offering me 5K per month to be his “special friend” – I was not wise to the lifestyle then, and found it very creepy. Meet her in person, talk with her.

  83. James.m says:

    IRL SD. Very well written, but very premature. What businessman offers a potential employee a job without an interview and a background check? Suggest an interview over coffee or a pint. Listen to her and then say what you have written. Tell her you’re single (you didn’t say married in your letter, so I’ll assume you aren’t).

    Better yet, why not join the blog for a while and then act on the blog crush you will develop for one of our ladies? You’ll quickly learn that they are smart, serious and beautiful (check out a few blue links and see for yourself). Oh, in Ireland you say? No problem! Where is Irish SB these days, anyway? And I’ve had views from a very cute young student who is a reader in Dublin.

  84. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Good morning

    Getting ready to go out to the Galleria for some lunch and shopping

    Brrr cold, only going to be 50 today and very windy

  85. IRLSD says:

    I appreciate all the input. Well, TXSB, for her to base her entire life plans on a casual offer by a random guy in a mall would be dumb without even meeting to discuss what the job is. In fact, my advice to anyone would be not to base their life plans on what a man/woman tells or even promises them, as such promises usually turn out to be a mirage in the long run, even if meant earnestly at the beginning.

    As for a scout, I simply told her the truth that someone told me about her. Plus, after she looks me up, she’ll know I am not running a prostitution ring.

    Perhaps, as suggested, I will offer her a job, but I don’t want to be stuck with an employee I want in that way if there is no real understanding about what I really want from her. Not like I can fire her later because she doesn’t want to be my SB–sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen.

  86. Boston Honey says:

    On another note to sexy pics. Of course every women has them but she isn’t going to share them with someone who writes, “Hey Baby do you have more pics?” or “Oh, can you send Cat Women, Dallas Cowgirl, what have you pics?” She might send one nice bikini body shot if not in her profile or a shot outlining her figure in nice clothes. Yet, the rule of thumb is no, no, no. We know that there are photo farmers out there and lots of fake SD’s so until we have met you for dinner and talk seriously about an “arrangement” you aren’t getting anything. Also, my advice to any SB’s out there who have sent them, download yourself a copy of GIMP – Open Source Software FREE – Better then PHOTOSHOP sans $800.00 price tag and blur out your face if you do send a sexy shot. You don’t want them out in the mainstream or end up on another site… be smart!

    If a SD can’t put more then two words together in an email, have lots of typos and spelling errors and they keep pressing I just stop responding, respond that I don’t send XRated and that is what youporn.com is for baby…go check it out! Enjoy!

    Classy, sophisticated, and intelligent men don’t ask for those photos…they have already seen enough and are intrigued. Sexy, sweet, SB’s know better then to send their pics to anyone who asks too…. Next step, conversation on the phone and details for meeting in person in a public place to see if there is a connection.

    Oh, and an SD or any man in general who complains about a 11 drink or 47 dollar dinner is a loser and not worth your time. That is one thing I learned from my last SD/BF, run, run, run! Don’t waste your time/energy with losers! Don’t date pool guys, cute bartenders, tennis guys, or anyone who doesn’t have a real J.O.B. Go for the short, nerdy, bald guy with a slight gut who will treat you like a goddess every day!

    Just my 2 cents.

    Boston Honey

  87. IRLSD – I completely agree with TXSB and SDN – great advice from both.

    Good morning everyone!

  88. Boston Honey says:

    MMMMM, hot Green Mountain Hazelnut coffee next to my golden tree.

    IRLSD – I totally agree with the others on this post especially SDN and TXSB as I mentioned it too. You offered a job. If I was her at her age I would have been excited and told all my friends and family already. Then, receiving this letter, I would have thought, “Oh, damn, another pervert…sigh..” However, it is all in how you approach the matter and her needs, desires, and background. I think dinner and a conversation to access where she is at financially is a great idea. You should say, “Sounds like you need a Sugar Daddy.” Why put yourself out on the limb, expose your motives if she isn’t interested anyway? If she says no, she will probably tell a lot of girlfriends. You need to protect yourself too. Also, the idea that she was “scouted” and you talk about this with others might make a girl a bit worried that this is some kind of operation and that you are not new to it…

    Curious as to why SA didn’t work for you?

    Boston Honey

  89. Gemini ~ I’ll still be around, I’m just not going to actively search for a while….my heart just isn’t in it right now.

  90. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    INRLSD: I concur with SDN, TXSB, and I think it was LASB…. if you really want to know if she’d be a good SB, you need to take her out to dinner first and get to know her. Also, I agree with SDN, that you should still offer her a job. The job should be separate from the offer of SB-dom…because really you *did* have ulterior motives in offering her a job, and the only way that you can not have that come across to her, is to still offer her a real job…and the SB/SD stuff can be secondary.

    Anna Molly – Oh no! :( We’ll miss you!

    I’m off to work soon girls and guys….wish me better luck than the last couple of days!

  91. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    IRLSD: If you are good to your word you should pursue giving her a real job. You can afford it, probably have need, and she can use it.

    If you want to find out if she is interested in the SD/SB offer I would meet her for coffee, lunch to discuss the real job; this should be real, it is cruel to lead someone on, especially with finances when they are broke. As part of that conversation discuss her school, being an exchange student, financial situation, and at some point she will mention the financial hardships she is having. At that point in a joking manner mention she needs a sugar daddy to help her out. If she doesn’t know what one is say you saw it on TV/Internet and explain. You can gauge her reaction.

  92. Good morning everyone.

    I’m going into hiding. I’ve decided to take a break from the SD search for a while. I’m tired of being constantly disappointed….sigh, so I think I need a break.

    I’m going to leave my profile linked though. I mean, I’ve had my profile link for a while and only had one email so I’m not looking to get bombarded with guys wanting to be my SD from the blog.

  93. 2Chic says:

    LAsB…thats funny, and soo correct. I actually pondered that this evening while reading a profile, the guy referred his body as athletic, but to me it looked quiet chunky… I was a lil perplexed…. lol.

  94. LASB says:

    TXSB – I’m so on that page with you in regards to IRLSD.
    CASB – yes, your definition of athletic is right on. Men think that because they somewhat resemble fat baseball players or linebackers, that “athletic” is accurate. I laugh when they say “athletic” and then post a body pic that looks anything but. I suppose they can use the argument that they have the body of Refrigerator Perry.

  95. 2Chic says:

    The more I hear this song, the more I desire a lovely New Yrs Eve.
    lyrics: Maybe its much to early in the game, but I’d thought I’d ask you just the same… What are you doing New Years…. New Years Eve?
    Am I too much of a romantic…. is that so darn bad? Ugh!

  96. 2Chic says:

    TxSb… great input to IRL SD. You are so right on baby girl!

  97. CASB says:

    I think the rule of thumb for “athletic” should be.. if you lost all the muscle in your body and couldn’t be considered “slim” after that, you are not “athletic”. I think “athletic” is a toned (women) or buff/muscular (men) “slim”. :)

  98. TXSB says:

    Hahahahaha………..yep………men seem to have a very flexible defition of “athletic”! :)


    OK…..bed is calling me……..Good night everyone! :)

  99. CASB says:

    I love when men put “athletic” just because they exercise once or however many times a week, yet still have a beer gut. “Athletic” means in shape.. not A shape.. and not “oh hey, I can walk on the treadmill for 15 minutes without dying”. :)

  100. TXSB says:

    IRL SD:
    If a man promised me a job and then sent a letter like that to me……I’d be pissed. You have no idea what kind of cultural/religious upbringing this girl had, and even what her personality is like. I’m assuming you don’t even know whether or not she has a BF.

    You have no idea if this girl is attracted to you. She obviously needs money, and I’m sorry if this sounds harsh but I think it was a bit cruel for you to get her hopes up by telling her you have a job for her. So now she’s excited thinking she’ll have a job next semester, heck she probably even told her friends/family that she got a job…..and what *IF* she’s not attracted to you or isn’t willing to be a SB….well then the “income” she’s expecting just poofed. She’s back to being “jobless”. Now just imagine if she already told her friends and family that she has a job…..*IF* she says “no” to your offer….can you imagine her having to explain to her friends/family what happened with her “job”?

    I believe a much better approach would’ve been to ask her out to dinner….if she said “yes” than that’s an indication that she’s attracted to you. Find out if she’s single….take her out on 2-3 dates to see if there’s chemistry….if you actually like her personality…and then ease her into the “financial support” aspect of it.

    *** BTW, I apologize if this post comes across as being harsh or rude but that’s not my intention. I wish you luck in your search! :)

  101. cleo says:

    IRLSD: “i apologize for telling you i was offering you a job. that was a little misleading… *insert letter here*

  102. cleo says:

    wow i’m caught up but now it’s past my bedtime!

    happy christmas eve to those who celebrate, festivus and solstice too :)

  103. cleo says:

    Muse: i pack my own shit, pay people to carry it and then unpack it myself. highly recommended…
    Boston Honey: it’s all in how you interpret it… for me the ladies you listed are exactly what athletic looks like. i wish you could select a few things, i would be curvy and athletic and you would be slender and athletic and we’d both be telling the much truthier truth :)
    ESB: yeah me too, i hit eight darnit. (my xmas record is 20 but my goal this year was 0)
    james.m: will you mail me a special surprise since i can’t afford the trip?

  104. TXSB says:


    Beach & Uncommon:
    Yes I wouldn’t mind sending a full body shot if a SD specifically requested one…but I hate the general “do you have pics” questions….it’s like “Duh….they’re on my profile genius!”. And yes, I would never send sexy pics to a pot SD…that’s private. :)

  105. cleo says:

    Moon Patrol: ]okay i am talking in gross generalisations and tendencies… i know all humans are not the same] oh seriously i know lots of very articulate men who are aware of and willing to discuss their emotions in a healthy way… several of them hang about on this blog.

    that said, GENERALLY men have more trouble with that kind of self expression that women and women love to read more into things than what was intended…

    or, as my ex used to say “if there’s two ways to take something i said? assume i meant it the nice way”

    that said, i dumped ONE person not to his face in my life and i made that choice (and told him so in the email) because i thought he would prefer it. and i’m certain that he did. he thanked me for my honesty and moved on.

    i don’t generally do that but sometimes you gotta

    as for your current sb… i’m with you, i believe the three call rule… after that it’s in their court.

  106. Uncommongoods - SB says:

    TXSB: I agree about sending full body shots when requested to prove that I’m slim and cute, but I don’t send a bunch of half naked pics to anyone who randomly asks for them. I think ‘sexy pics’ should be private and reserved for an actual SD, not some ‘maybe’ guy. I’m just not comfortable putting a bunch of pics on my profile… discretion is key.

  107. TXSB~ i know, lots of guys what those sexy photos… i guess it might work for some…. but not real SDs would ask

    Sissy ~ hi

  108. sissy says:

    Is there anyone in here

  109. TXSB says:

    I don’t have full body shots so if a SD asked me for a full body shot, then I could understand. But so far I’ve had 2 that literally wrote “Do you have pics?”…….And in both cases I wrote back saying “Yes…they’re in my profile!”. The pics are crystal clear….if they’re hinting at “sexy pics”…they’re out of their mind!

  110. TXSB~ if you have photos on your profile he should ask for more,,,, maybe a cam pic or something later on afer you see him???

  111. Uncommongoods - SB says:

    Picture collectors… another lovely aspect to consider.

  112. Uncommongoods - SB says:

    Just noticed that I left out the very meaningful letter “n”. I meant “weren’t” broke.

  113. TXSB says:

    Hi Everyone…. :)

    If I have pics on my profile…then WTF do men ask if I have pics?!
    Rant Over.

  114. Uncommon~ I hear you girl!

  115. Uncommongoods - SB says:

    Beach_Girl: What really cracks me up is that the SD fakers and ‘pay for play’ types couldn’t get a girl like me IRL even if they were broke! And they actually have the nerve to offer some rediculous ‘rate’ to top it all off.

    Well, Santa must of been out of SD’s by the time I put in my request this year since I got put on the backorder list… keeping my fingers crossed for Valentine’s Day now.

  116. LASB says:

    So I a guy on SA kept trying to get my phone number to text, but I told him I’m not into the texts. I mean, why can’t he just email? Then he asked for my address so that he could send me a gift for xmas. I sent him my Amazon wishlist (keeps the addresses private) and then he disappeared. Interesting. What does this guy want all this information for? I’ve already been down that road and no thank you.

  117. LASB says:

    IRLSD – I will add as others have that the SBs (including myself) would loooooooove to get a letter like that because we are “hip to the program.” But I’m guessing you don’t know how conservative she is or how her culture and worldview may influence her, so I’d say to err on the side of respect and caution until you have built some rapport.

    Hey, has anyone seen The Education? I just watched it today and It’s somewhat of an SB/SD relationship and it’s quite a nice story. SDs who like the doe eyes will enjoy watching.

  118. Taz~ Uncommon~ I know , I had one mail that wanted a one time meet for X amount and I wouldn’t be disappointed!!! ahhh yeah right…. No thank you!

  119. LASB says:

    IRLSD – Have you thought about just saying this type of thing to her in person, and not in a letter? I think your first mistake was that you already told her that you were offering her a “job” so when she sees your letter, that “job” part is already in her head, and she will read your words in that context, even if it’s subconscious. Plus, I’m guessing you haven’t spent that much time with her. Based on what I’ve read from MoonPatrol and NYGent, maybe it is better to take her out to lunch first so that you get to know her as a person first and see that she actually likes you as a person.
    At some point, you can ask her about herself, including the question of how she is “getting by” financially. When/If she tells you it’s been really difficult, you can step in with the solution of being her SD/Benefactor. IMO, that would come off less like you are asking for a prostitute. Also, is it really necessary to tell her that you had a “scout” who tipped you off (sounds like you are running an operation) or tell her that this isn’t something that you do all the time? Unless she asks, why even bring that up? Keep in mind that women read between the lines even when maybe not even be anything there to read. (eg. the above conversation about being called a “friend.”) Just my two cents.

  120. Taz~ I hope so …. 😀 *g*

  121. Uncommongoods - SB says:

    TT: Ugh! Yes, I get those emails too! I’m keeping faith that things will come together when they’re meant to, and just keep putting good out into the world until it comes back to me.

    I have guys come up to me in the grocery store for heaven’s sake, but can’t seem to get a decent SD to notice me on SA. I did a little search through the SB’s one day and realized how many there are. A relatively small percentage exhibits class, intelligence or intrigue, but I sense that the majority of callgirl types must still be appealing to men. Men are very visual creatures after all, yet are constantly left wondering why they always find the psychos and scammers.

  122. Well…I will be up late waiting to see if Santa gets my SD stuck in the chimney – so I am sure in between chimney watching and my sister (hell she is gonna find out if Santa is shoving him down a chimney anyway right??!! j/k) I will find a few moments to be with my blog fam as well :)

  123. IRLSD~ When I met my ex-SD, he took a few dates to introduce me to it… so i’m not sure how you should word it… my brain is on slow motion ,,, sorry 😀

  124. IRLSD says:

    Yup, gave her a business card. It’s hard to approach someone in this way without them knowing you’re for real. It’s one thing if you google the guy and he’s a prominent hot-shot and another if you have no idea who he even is.

  125. Uncommon~ IRLSD did give her a business card with his number and his name… so she probably knows anyways!

    Taz~ poop :( …. i will have nothing to do and you won’t be here *crying my eyes out*

  126. BG – Wooohooo – happy for you lady!! I don’t know how much time I will have to be on the blog..or msn 😛 My sister will be here…so we shall see…she is 19, IMO, too young to be introduced to this type of lifestyle…maybe a couple more years 😛

    I soooo want to do NOTHING for xmas this year!!

  127. Uncommongoods – lmao I know!! I read that and went ‘how come I don’t get emails like that’?

    I get ‘hey baby – pay for play?’ lmao…well not word for word..but you get me right? Lmao…

  128. Taz~ hey girl!!! Yes I can’t WAIT!!! YAY… 4 pm tomorrow !!!! i can’t wait to do nothing…. wine is chilling, movies and documentaries are waiting… food is prepared YAY me…

    IRLSD~ oh yes friends with benefits, is mutually beneficial… yes all of what Taz said!

  129. Uncommongoods - SB says:

    IRLSD: Very well written, direct and respectful, but I would leave out the personal information about where you work until you can gauge her level of interest. Not sure how concerned you are about discretion, but it may be wiser to leave out the specifics of your employment and status in the community until you can trust her. Be careful, and good luck. I dream about receiving an email like that from a sincere SD, but you never know what her maturity level is, what her reaction may be or if she would even consider an offer like that.

  130. Boston Honey says:

    I can’t sleep drinking tea.

    IRLSD. Impressive, eloquent, and to the point. I am intrigued as to what her response will be to you. I think it is wonderful that you do not hide who you are as that is critical to me and to most women important too. It creates safety. I feel that it depends on where she is in life, her background/upbringing, and what she is seeking in life. You did offer a job thus, she might be a little bit put off with the fact that it isn’t a “real job” per say…. She may think it is too good to be true and scared as you did mention job first. Don’t forget she is working in Customer Service so she has to be friendly to everyone to sell. She may be offended yet curious…. Or perhaps she will respond graciously as what grad student, medical student, or MBA student wouldn’t want to worry about the cost of school, seeking residency, and could focus on studying, interviewing sites, and enjoying new experiences. You will have to keep us posted. I probably won’t be blogging too long as school break ends soon, and I will be swooshing down the slopes in a few days…


    Boston Honey

  131. IRLSD~ I think you can say arrangement, it’s ok. Just explain as best you can friends with benefits!
    now i don’t speak polish i’m sorry,,, can’t help you buddy! 😀

    I am trying to think how you could explain it in simple terms….it’s hard to type it out too…. hum let me think… i am blonde and i’ve had a long day!

  132. IRLSD – maybe mention something about it being mutually beneficial – that you help each other, relieve stress from each other…? I think you did a great job of explaining as well :) And, I do speak a tad of polish 😛 not enough to accomplish what you need methinks 😛

    Hey BG – almost your day off!!!!!!!!!

  133. IRLSD says:

    Thank you Beach_Girl, but how do I explain “friends with benefits” to someone for whom English is a second language? Anyone on the blog speak Polish, lol?

    Do you think I should remove the word “arrangement” from the e-mail (haven’t sent it yet–waiting for input and my IRL friends are all asleep right now).

  134. IRLSD~ Hi and Welcome…
    I think your approach is bold but I met me Ex-SD IRL … but it wasn’t it that way. I hope it works out for you…. I think you explained it very well in the mail you sent her and i’m sure she is going to meet you to know more. I hope you let us know what happens. Best of luck to you…
    I am sure other will chime in here…
    But Be as open and honest as possible with her, if you meet. Answer all the questions and try and make it sound more like a friends with benefits than an arrangement… Thank is what my ex-SD did! I was young so… I did and we were together a long time!

  135. IRLSD says:

    OK, first time posting. I’ve meet a number of SBs from this site and have not had good luck, so I’ve given thought to finding someone IRL. An employee of mine met this beautiful girl who works at the mall, a foreign exchange student who is trying to get her masters. So I went there today and bought some stuff and told her that I came to offer her a job. She was quite excited, saying that she needs a job for after Christmas, and so I gave her my card with an e-mail address and cell phone she could get in contact with. Now my question is how to bring up what I am looking for without it sounding like I am looking for a personal prostitute. I thought of e-mailing her back with an offer stressing what I would offer and when we meet I could bring up what I would expect in return–friendship, companionship, and intimacy as it develops naturally, not in return for money. So I want everyone’s opinion on what I have written for her:

    It was nice to meet you today, even though it was brief, as I didn’t want to get in the way of your work. You may have looked me up online already, but to introduce myself I am a xxx, and I am an authority in the field of xxx. You can see my professional website if you’d like to at xxx.

    The way I became interested in meeting you was that I have been talking with one of my employees about how nice it would be if I could find a charming and graceful young lady who is in a point in her life that she could use generous financial support and I could be her benefactor. In essence, I would pay her educational costs and provide her the financial resources to take care of all her expenses and to provide her a comfortable and stress-free life while she completes her education and training. After pondering this for some time, he finally came to me this week saying that he has met just the girl for me—a charming young lady from xxx who is pursuing a graduate degree here in xxx . So I took it upon myself to drive up to see you in person and to decide for myself that you would be the right person for what I am looking for.

    In essence, I am offering you not a job but an opportunity that does not come to most people ever in their lifetimes. I would offer you either $5,000 per month, and if that is not enough to cover your tuition and living expenses, I could provide even more, or alternatively I could offer to pay all your expenses so that you would have no financial worries. I hope that this arrangement would continue through the end of your education and training, after which we would remain friends regardless of where in the world you are.

    This is an absolutely serious offer, so I hope that you think about it carefully. I have no hidden agendas or ulterior motives. I make many times more money than I spend and I would rather put the extra money to use in the betterment of someone’s life than stashing it in yet another bank account.

    I should add that I do not do this on a regular basis, and in fact you are the first person I have ever approached in this manner with this type of offer. However, I once did support a young lady I met professionally, and I mentored and financially supported her in a very generous way. Now she runs a world-class xxx and we remain good friends and she is always appreciative of what I did for her. It was such a rewarding experience for both her and me that I would like to find another person who would similarly benefit from my support and who can make me proud by accomplishing everything that she wants to in life.

    I know this offer may sound unreal or too good to be true or it may sounds like there has to be some sort of catch to it, but there really isn’t. If you do take up my offer, there are no strings attached and you can end the arrangement at any time without the need for any explanations whatsoever.

    I should add that I don’t want you to feel offended in any way. I am not making this offer because I think you need charity or are incapable of handling things on your own, but rather because it would bring me great pleasure to provide you with this type of support. Also, I do ask that you keep this offer in confidence, as I do not want people I know or random other people looking for money to know about my generosity.

    In summary, if you are interested in a wealthy benefactor who would like to enjoy your friendship and see you prosper, then that is what I am offering. My suggestion would be for us to meet for either dinner or dessert or coffee or something and talk this over. I really do hope that you give it serious consideration and at least offer to meet me in person to discuss it.

    Any input is greatly appreciated.

  136. CASB says:

    I think we should make the CA meetup a snuggie meetup. :)

  137. Boston Honey says:

    Meow….I am Catwomen… Looking for my Batman… Complete ensemble is a 6’2 jaw dropping gal with a whip, fake of course…. LOL…. I love costumes…oh yes, I do…. And for those of you wondering and who have inquired… Yes, there are full body shots of Cat Women…LOL.. I think the best was searching for every single piece of leather to wear on my body and the reaction of the gentleman who owned the leather store in NY. I don’t do simple, cheap costumes. Luxury and deluxe all the way. Usually make them as you can’t find good ones and people think I rented them. 😉


    Boston Honey

  138. 2Chic says:

    Taz Baby … how you doing girl!

    Good (kinda) to know I am not the only one who would love to have a New Years Eve date. Do not want to do the big club thing, maybe jazz, slow dancing, dinner, laughter, and that New Year’s Eve kiss…. hmmmm (sigh)…. floating off in the a dream…

  139. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Hello all – back from a days outing with the family

    Taz – I’m with you – new lingerie on Valentines Day!

  140. However, I do think that every woman should most definitely treat herself to some new lingerie EVERY valentine’s day 😀

  141. Lmao…I go from Christmas to boxing day…overlook New Year’s and my birthday…all the way to V-day..which is kind of overlooked lol…always nice if you have someone to share it with :) otherwise it is definitely overlooked lol..

  142. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    2009 has been such a wonderful year, I hate to see it leave

  143. James ~ Believe me, I would be at the Midwest meet if things had worked out the I was hoping and expecting them to.

    I love surprises and I wish I could be there, but all of you will have a great time without me :)

  144. 2Chic – I have never had the chance to celebrate New Years since I was always working. It would be *nice* to go somewhere, but I will most likely be on the blog – I am a virgin when it comes to New Years 😛

  145. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    ahhh….a date for new years…. someone to kiss!

  146. 2Chic says:

    I need a date for New Year’s Eve. Funny how all my POT are out the state or country at this time…. at least those I am interested in…. lol.

  147. AM – sorry to hear that sweetie…if you want to chat – I may be offline..but I am on msn 😛 Either way – hope you are feeling more festive soon :)

    Yes agreed Midwest. It was mostly self inflicted lol…I didn’t need to bake six different items 😛 And now the rush is on to clean up my big mess 😛 I got ‘most’ of it done today…the most important and time consuming stuff – tomorrow I am relaxing…well maybe a bit of putzing around too 😛

  148. james.m says:

    Anna — see what happens when you bail on the midwest meet and all of its great surprises!

    ESB – glad to hear you’re thinking of coming!

  149. TT ~ Nope, still having a crappy day :(

  150. Midwest says:

    TT – I’m sure you will have a wonderful holiday gathering. I sometimes wish it was less about the preparations and more about spending time with family re-telling all those hunmiliating stories about your goofy little brother :-)

  151. NYC SB – sorry to hear about cali pot :(

    Moon – so glad to hear you have a profile now!!! 😀 Good luck with your search – hope you stick around the blog!!!!

  152. Midwest says:

    Catwoman is Boston Sugar – her 2nd pic

  153. 2Chic – hey sweetie!! Ready for xmas??

    Midwest – I am feeling a bit overwhelmed too – soo much so that I had to cut the blog out (ok ok not completely -but for the most part) for the last few days..still things to do, food to be made…my company coming tomorrow can help 😛 I did most of it lol..

    AM – your day getting better??

  154. I’m catwoman……

    LOL….na, I’m teasin’ I’m not catwoman… :)

    I would like to know too, who is catwoman?

  155. NYC SB says:

    who is catwoman?

  156. james.m says:

    Catwoman: I am very impressed!

  157. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Maybe your next date will be the value meal at mcds.

  158. NYC SB says:

    haha he did not… thankfully

  159. 2Chic says:

    JSMN1229 says:

    2chic and MoonPatrol…Sometimes age is just a number. The significant age difference doesn’t necessarily mean it’s just fun for her. It depends on the person and their character/mind set/personality/maturity. My first real boyfriend, I was 18, he was 35. We were together a year and 1/2. Just broke up this May. I didn’t date him for fun- I would have more fun dating someone my own age than someone older. It was more than that

    JsMn… from what you have already shared with us, your life’s experienced you beyond your age. But on a avg, at age 20, the maturity level is not on the level of a 46 yr.old. At age 20 I was in college and on the path of self discovery, figuring out where I wanted to go with my life. I dated because I enjoyed the person’s company, but in all honesty, I wanted to just enjoy the moment, not get married. Of course you date for more than fun, but believe me…. it is still about maturity. Even as at my age, I know that I am still not at the level of some of the older men, but I am more stable, directed, and willing to learn. When someone says that age is nothing but a number, I beg to differ for if the age becomes decades apart, the level of growth, and distance to go plays a huge role.

  160. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Did he expect “dessert ” afterwards? lol

  161. NYC SB says:

    Lisa – toothpicks with a side of napkins

  162. Midwest says:

    NYC SB – I will be happy to deliver the brownies! I can’t promise I won’t eat all of them. Get pics…soon!

  163. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Hi Sd

    Maybe they ordered from the kiddie menu , lol

  164. NYC SB ~ Sorry to hear about that….at least you made it to the first date. Right?

  165. Midwest says:

    Evening sugars! Glad to see everyone is back! I have a lot to do and feeling a little overwhelmed.

    james – didn’t you go to college in the 60s…”special” brownies?

    MoonPatrol- It sounds like you and a few of our best sds have the same issues. You thoroughly enjoy the company of young sbs who may lack the level of respect and maturity you deserve. If all of you could take your business expertise and apply it to sb screening, I’m certain all of you would have amazing sbs.

    JSMN – I share the opinions of the others about your relationship w your married sd. I will also add that at 20, this is likely the first time you have experienced this dilemma. Take it from someone who has been there…being in love with someone allows you to share a level of intimacy that is unmatched. How you react to, and what you expect from that love is what you have to ask yourself. It’s wonderful that you two have this great relationship and sad that his professing that he cares for you is turning this around. It sounds like he has been very good you, held his own while you had a bf, and never stopped caring and taking care of you. Bottom line – you are the only one in control of your emotions. Ask yourself why this upsets the balance and then decide if you can move forward. From what you have shared, I don’t think he is stopping you from pursuing what you want in life. I rambled a bit, but I hope you find some value.

  166. Lisa's SD in NYC says:

    $47? You both must have ordered the toothpicks.

  167. NYC SB says:

    Hi all

    Muse – you will need a LOT of brownies to get fat… I will still love you anyways (oatmeal cookies kinda love if you get fat lol)

    SDN – sure you can have a brownie… i dont even need a snuggie since broke bf got me one… and thus this whole snuggie fiasco started

    Maybe I will bake some brownies and send it to midwest for the midwest meet 😀

    So just came back from meeting my Cali pot… umm wow… so he tells me to pic a restaurant… he looks at the prices and tells me how expensive it was… dinner comes to $47 and he complains about how expensive it is… and then he tells me how with my job and lifestyle i shouldnt be looking for an SD… he then tells me he wants to see me again… sorry but i dont think i can date someone who complains about a $50 dinner… even broke bf doesnt do that! Oh yeah he also makes 400k a year… im thinking not so much

  168. MoonPatrol says:

    I’m back up on the site! (at least for a month) One thing i know about myself is whether or not I find a woman yummy! SB#1 that treats me bad is Yummy, SB #2 is not yummy. SB#1 isn’t bonding with me so I’ll just ignore her and let her play her cards. So I think its well said to be a business expense when I dismiss SB #2. WHen I think back My first SB was the one that did the most damage.
    I cut that one off before I was sent to the moon. SO for me if my yummy factor isn’t there its not going to $happen$. I’m not saying I haven’t enjoyed these women’s company and stories its just that I’m not so sex crazy that I”ll do anything to get laid.
    I feel good about what wisdom I have gained in such a short time from this site.

  169. Sorry to hear about your headache ESB….hope you feel better :)

    Sigh….anybody here?

  170. My headach has gone from bad to rotten. I’m going to bed! Hope you all have a great night! Catch y’all tomorrow!! Night!! HUGS!!

  171. JSMN1229 says:

    2chic and MoonPatrol…Sometimes age is just a number. The significant age difference doesn’t necessarily mean it’s just fun for her. It depends on the person and their character/mind set/personality/maturity. My first real boyfriend, I was 18, he was 35. We were together a year and 1/2. Just broke up this May. I didn’t date him for fun- I would have more fun dating someone my own age than someone older. It was more than that.

  172. JSMN1229 says:

    NC Gent…I loved him but my feelings remained in my back pocket until he told me first. I wouldn’t be so upset about the friend thing, had he never brought the whole love word into the equation. And it definitely wasn’t a “oatmeal raisin” love (which I am now craving – thanx a lot! LoL)…

    MoonPatrol…If I have to wonder how someone feels about me, I take a huge step back. They can meet me halfway but I will not chase anyone. I’m pretty sure girls are much better expressing (through words and actions) that they like someone and how they feel for someone better than guys can. I agree with TXSB – the drama is a bit much. Too much actually, I think. On paper that looks really bad whether it was hers or not. Your arms aren’t the only place you have veins. Meaning she could have hidden marks on other body parts. On a personal.note – my mom was on drugs and she always dated guys with money and means. If a guy couldn’t do anything for her he wouldn’t get her time of day. She never really loved or cared about anyone but herself. Now that she’s in jail a couple guys send her money and try to help her out of any jam she’s in. She even tries to ask me and my siblings to send her money – she’ll use us or anyone for what she needs then she’ll disappear until she needs something else. My mom was very convincing too. I wouldn’t be surprised if this girl calls you out of the blue hinting at something she needs or wants.

    CA Dreamin SB…I don’t think you’re cold at all because that’s usually how I am. I knew my place. Lots of feelings came about but I would have never told him I loved him…that is, until he told me first. He wasn’t happy about me dating or seeing other guys anyway and as soon as love came into play he’d be over my shoulder trying to read my text and see what I’m doing and who I’m talking to – Jealous much? It was really annoying but that changed things a lot.

  173. Boston Honey says:

    Ok, ya’all just brought my “athletic” derriere back from my kickbutt workout. Does everyone have to gawk? Ok, I guess when I do my Dallas Cowgirl kicks and lunges with swing kicks that catches some attention. LOL. And walking lunges around the gym with a good flick up kick. Tip from the Patriot Girls Trainer on how to have that look….LOL.

    James M and SDN —Ohhhhh, a 1911 Colt. Very nice indeed! Hmmm, almost went to work for GE FMP in the midwest….sigh… The 20’s and 30’s would be spectacular…. 😉 Might need new leather thigh high boots to go with it though…

    I love Christmas! I love decorating my house with Victorian styled themes, real trees filled with all golden decorations, golden balls, cinnamon sticks, giant wreaths, candles in the window and golden mantle decor with seashells, and classy glitter galore. I like to make Swedish Melting Moments, Apple Pies, Rum Balls, and Guffebullo’ sp? N A Finnish treat….mmmmmm. My decorating style caught the eye of my old GM and I was supposed to decorate the entire five star hotel (2nd oldest in the country) yet he left to manage a property in the Caribbean and I was wooed away to another property…My inspiration was the Greenbriar, The Cranwell, and Hotel Del Coronado to name a few of my inspirations.

    Valentines Day. Ahhh, I love this day too. Agent Provocateur, red lace and sparkle filled fantasy collection is all I have to say….. I have fond memories of one Valentine’s Day my past SD/BF of nine years (not from SA) and 20 G Ruger Red Label. I love it! Its stunning….fits me so well…. giggle….

    To Moon Patrol sorry didn’t mean to call you Moon Beam earlier today. You sound really nice. I don’t do drugs, never have, never will. You don’t need that kind of stress. I agree with the others that this is supposed to be fun, drugs, disease, and drama free. Of course you want to help and it is up to you. Just tread lightly as I am sure there are wonderful SB’s in your area that can rock your world sans drama…..

    Just my 2 cents..


    Boston Honey

  174. OK, just sent you a message from my Y account. Can’t wait to hear more about this!!

  175. 2Chic says:

    Hi All,
    I am soooo cold, and I am in Cali.
    Finally caught up a little.

    Moon P. I agree with TxSb.
    plus I think back when I was twenty, mmmn you two are def not on the same maturity level. Thinking back when I was that age…. to be perfectly honest… wasn’t interested in anything serious and when I did date an older guy, it was for what it was. Did not want him to really be my boyfriend, I honestly looked at him as too old, but good for the moment of my needs. I know this sounds harsh, and may get blasted by the rest of the fam. I am not trying to be rude, I just think you should take into account your compatibility in regards to maturity. Life’s experience one has. If you are going to set your sites on someone that much younger than yourself, you have to realize that for her… it is about fun. Nothing more or less.

  176. Gemi – Doesn’t look like Santa has me on his SD list this year either :( I too am sooo hoping for V-day…I love to spoil..and you need a bit of time to know someone to spoil ‘right’ 😉

    Moon – I agree with TXSB – give her the gift since you wanted to give it to her (ha! I am sure there are some blog SB’s that would love to take it off your hands 😉 ) – it by no means you have to continue having a relationship of any kind with her. That is your choice – but trust me – you DO have options. If you get your profile back up – it would be a great start 😉 Don’t take it as a loss though – you are always learning…even a high priced education cannot teach you life lessons. Trust me – we have ALL – SD’s and SB’s alike, been on the short end of the stick somehow. If you are not feeling appreciated by a SB – no matter how much you like her…even LOVE her…if it is not recipricol – you are no longer in sugarland…and she is not your “SB”.

    james – old recipes from college huh?! Should be a fun night 😉 lol…

  177. TXSB says:

    Thanks! Just to clarify my statement about a SD’s time being worth more….I said that b/c as a SB, it’s not like I have “real, generous SDs” lined up to spend time with me and spoil me. SDs on the other hand, have a much easier time finding SBs to be with them since they’re the one’s with the $$$.

    OMG it was sooo good….I’ve been craving ice cream for weeks! Finally gave in today and am totally pigging out! :)


    I’m off to meet a friend for a drink……see ya’ll later! :)

  178. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Eastern: We are meeting in Chicago on the 12th. Be great if you could show.

  179. I was really looking forward to it :(

    Oh well, I’m gonna go get drunk…..I’ve had a really bad day.

    I might be back later, but I can’t guarntee I’ll makes sense….TTYL

  180. Where/when is the midwest meet taking place? I have family in Ohio, would serioulsy like to make it!!

  181. james.m says:

    Attention all SBs considering the midwest meet!!

    Please reread SDN’s post in which he refers to the secret surprises that we haven’t told anyone about. We’d hate for you to miss them!

    Perhaps I should sweeten the pot by promising to bake some brownies? I still have my old recipes from college…

  182. james.m says:

    SDN – the 1911 is still the classic, but it might be a little large for BH’s to-die-for purses. Now, I have a couple of 1920 and 1930 Wlathers which would be perfect for her.

  183. TXSB: Stay way from the ice cream cake!! What are you thinking!! Share with the rest of us!! 😛 I should go get something to eat. Maybe that will take away the head ache!!

  184. TXSB says:

    Anna & Gemini:


    Soooo…..I bought a small ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins…chocolate chip ice cream with chocolate cake. Ummm….I kinda already ate half of it in the last 2 hours…lol. Please tell me I should *NOT* eat the rest of it tonight!

  185. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Gemini29: Don’t want to hear *poof* from you…I sent you a well thought out “How you doin'”.

    MoonPatrol: I don’t care the SB was using the heroin or was with people that use/sell heroin I don’t need those problems in my life. Yes I know it was her brother, don’t care.

    Also notice she didn’t finish her parole. Red flag number two.

    I also have to agree with TXSB on her 3 points – couldn’t have said it better. Not sure I totally agree with my time being worth more but I over think things.

  186. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    It’s me I think I send out electric shock waves. lol

    This time last week I was having a very pleasant evening in NYC

    Tonight i’m spening the evening with one live bird and one dead bird, lol

  187. TXSB: Very well put. Couldn’t have said it better myself!

  188. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    Oh its not either of you, its me. Everyone goes *poof* when I come on by. 😉

  189. It’s not you TXSB it’s me….I scare everyone away, especially the SD’s.

  190. TXSB says:

    Don’t get my paranoia started! LOL….I’m used to seeing everyone dissappear as soon as I show up! 😉

    I’m hoping the blog SDs will chime in and give you their opinions…but meanwhile…..here is mine (LOL….u knew that was coming right?).

    1) Just b/c you already bought her a purse and boots, that doesn’t mean you should keep her around if you don’t feel any “chemistry” for her. A blogger SD referred to this as the “cost of doing business”. Learn from your “mistakes” and move on before you incur more costs (financially or emotionally).

    2) The reason it *seems* like it’s your backup SB or no one else is b/c you have’t been actively searching even though you weren’t 100% happy with your SB! You need to reactivate your profile asap and start searching! You have hopefully learned your lessons from your previous experiences….and now that you’re on the blog, I’m sure your “approach” next time will be different.

    3) Yes, I agree that IMO, if we were to put a price on a person’s “time”….in this case a SDs time is much more valuable. Moon, please keep 2 things in mind: a) There are a lot more SBs out there compared to SDs (generous SDs anyway). b) It’s a “buyer’s market” due to supply/demand. As a SD, you have the upper hand.

  191. If I ever have someone special to treat me right on V-day, I will love it again, but for now, it is a day full of bad memories! I have all kinds of special things I’d like to do, just no one special to do them with. SD would be spoiled rotten!! If only…

  192. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    I love Christmas but most Valentine’s Days have been ehh for me… I think the best one was where I got myself 3 dozen roses and then whatever I couldn’t stuff into the vase got hand-delivered to 3 guy friends of mine whom were single and I figured could use a bit of friend-love :)

    If I get a SD in time, I would love love LOVE to spend V-day with him..and do all the things my head has always dreamed up! :)

  193. Moon: I completely understand your feelings toward Christmas. I feel that way about Valentines day! Hate, Hate, HATE it!! I go out of my way to make it special for my kids though. Then I pick one friend every year to send a rose to. One I know needs some love on that day and no one else would give to her. It’s hard to be alone on the holidays. Having someone special makes it more meaningful. Thank God for my kids, or I’d be drowning in self pitty!!

  194. I love the Greatful Dead! Touch of Grey is one of my favorite songs :)

  195. Little bit of both. Not a huge snow storm or anything like that. Not to mention I have to drive by 4 major malls on the way home from Albany…ugh.

  196. MoonPatrol says:

    Just like the Grateful Dead song says, “I will get by … I will survive”, Which makes about 70% of what I listen to this week. So yes I am trying to redeem myself with this SB situation by trying to keep going in the hopes that I can stomp out the flaws and not take a loss. It appears to be a mistake to begin with unless she pulls a 180 deg. turn and becomes real.

    I ought to reactivate my account with SA now that I have an idea of how I should operate.
    TXSB: Thanks for putting it in a way I can comprehend! They should cherish every moment. My time is more valuable than anyone else’s as I worked my back off to be able to afford this kind of relationship. I have another SB in the aisles but don’t really have the same kind of hunger for her, and don’t know how to let her go because I already bought her a purse and some boots. Plus right now its seems like her or no one. I hate Christmas I love Christmas now that makes sense. I’m somewhere in the middle with this xmas thing. it tends to get in the way of my dating.!

  197. You getting snow? or just rush hour??

  198. Thank you :)

    It took 1 and a 1/2 hours to drive 49 miles…lol

  199. Welcome AM! good to see you. Glad you made it back safely!

  200. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    TXSB: Thank you my friend. I think you and I ran everyone off.

    AM: Glad you made it home safe.

  201. I made it home finally! Good greif the traffic is awful!

  202. TXSB says:

    Yea…good point. Movers aren’t too concerned with damaging items…

    Nice to see you back!

    Well, just b/c a person doesn’t have needle marks on their arms to show that they’re using…that doesn’t mean they’re not selling. But wow….so much drama with your SB!

    In my humble opinion, if a SB isn’t making is crystal clear by her behavior that she adores you, that she’s grateful to have you as her SD, and cherishes every moment you spend with her….then that right there speaks volumes about how she feels in her heart. Whether it’s a GF, wife, or SB….if you have to *ask* how she feels, then that’s not a good thing (this applies to BF, husbands, and SDs IMO). With any relationships….actions speak much louder than words. In any case Moon, good luck! :)

  203. Desserts area my specialty!! I should have been a pastry chef. I just can’t bake as often as I like, I’m the one who eats most of it. So not good. Took some cake decorating classes with my daughter, now EVERYONE wants me to bake cakes for what ever reason for them. It’s fun, so why not? Now, we need to talk about something besides food, I’ve already put on more than my allowed 5 lbs for the season. Need to start working it off again!!

  204. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Good afternoon. So glad to be home and be free till saturday morning.

    Was reading about the parole police stuff, I think i’d avoid anyone with a criminal history.

    Got the pies in the oven, mom just brought over the turkey which I will cook tomorrow evening. It will take forever because I can’t turn the over over 300 or it will get on fire. The pies have been in over an hour and still not done.

  205. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    boston: I am with james, I like your style. Don’t have a glock but I love the 1911! Heard the song “Gunpowder and Lead” by Miranda Lambert? Love that song.

    james.m: I think some sweetening would help. I haven’t shared any of our surprises, do you have any sweetener ideas?

    gemini29: kick-ass deserts? How you doin’?

  206. LMAO @ Yaz… raining men, and they are lost!! How true is that? Too funny!!

    SDN says :** sounding very sincere *** Oh I will bring them. Don’t need to bring anything to wear…trust me *** evil grin *** My, we are in good humor today!! love it!!

    Moon Patrol… wow, so much drama!! Thought the point of a SB is to NOT have drama. I don’t need drama in my life, I have a teenage daughter!! 14/15 is such an awful age!!

    Not going to read any further back, my head hurts!!

    I am ready for Christmas…except the food, which I will get tomorrow, right after I spend my Victoria Serects gift card!! I’m so excited about that!! Just wish I had someone to wear all my new stuff for!! Soon, I just know it! 😉

  207. Muse says:

    James – I know. I’m really bummed I won’t make it but I should use the time/energy/money to furnish my new place. Perhaps next time.

    CA – Say it ain’t so! I’ve been so excited about mine. :(

    SDN – Yay! I knew I could count on you…. *innocent smile*

  208. Hello Everyone!! I’ve got some catching up to do, but wanted to say”HI” before I got started. Hope everyone had an awesome day!! I’m done working now ’til Mon. That sucks though, cause Mon is my b-day!! I HATE working on my b-day! :(

  209. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    “Will you marry me? Can I have a brownie?”


    Well I might not make famous brownies or fall-in-love oatmeal cookies, but I do make some other kick-ass deserts! I’m sure whenever I get a SD, he too will enjoy them! 😉

  210. Boston Honey says:

    Merci beaucoup James. 😉 But of course….and fantastic purses to match…LOL..

    Boston Honey

  211. photogirl says:

    NC Gent – Thanks….but does that include this snuggie everyone keeps talking about? Because you know…that could be a deal breaker.

  212. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Hello everyone –

    NC Gent – I really like your oatmeal cookie comparison.

    When going into a relationship with a married SD – you have to know you can’t fall in love. Yes, support him, care for him, enjoy your time together, enjoy each other – but don’t fall in love. I know many times that’s easier said than done…but, it’s a mind-set you have to have. I know it’s hard to keep deep emotions out of any relationship, but this isn’t an IRL relationship. It is, at heart, an arrangement. I’m not the girlfriend, I’m not a candidate for the next Mrs., I’m someone to spend time with and that time will be nothing but enjoyable. You’ll never hear me lament about anything or see me stressed about anything going on in my life. I want him to enjoy every second spent with me.

    That may sound cold to some, but, I’m far from cold and the emotional boundaries I set for myself up front allow me to enjoy the relationship more.

    Muse – SDN doesn’t deliver on snuggies – I’ve been waiting for mine for a while! :)

  213. james.m says:

    Boston — a glock and a beretta? I like your style!

  214. james.m says:

    SDN — it sounds like we are leaking SBs for the midwest meet. Perhaps we need to up the ante or something to rekindle their interest. Or are you rethinking, too, so you can go to Anna and Muse’s party?

  215. Boston Honey says:

    Ha, Ha. I am back from the field and just read an older blog. Ok SB’s you think putting athletic means a few extra pounds and chunky? Hmmmm, I didn’t think that at all. Most of you feel that a few extra pounds and chunky are just that–athletic…..LOL. Is that like the guys who say they are 6 feet tall and in reality 5’7″? Are you sure you are not all marketing guru’s selling jeans? The strategy of the stores is a 2 is now a 0 and a 6 is now a 4. Ok, now, I understand the communication problem as I see athletic as truly sexy, curvy, and looking like TAZ athletic…or a Serena Williams, Hanna Cornett, Gabrielle Reece all amazing IMO sexy, strong, and athletic women. I never in my wildest dreams would think you all thought chunky. LMAO

    Oh, the stalker. Want to hear something really crazy about a stalker? When I was 19 or so I used to chat to this guy online and realized he was a weirdo! He still notices if I log onto my old email account and sends me virtual flowers to this day….creepy… It has been almost 9 years. Also, had a real life stalker which was very scary too… Never did anything to bring that on, just walked to school and he lived with his parents and was in his late 30’s-40’s. I think he is in lock down in a mental institution now….thank goodness.

    That is why I love the saying, “God didn’t make us even, but Glock sure does…” Sorry if that offends anyone… I am who I am…..LOL

    Boston Honey

  216. Yaz10 says:

    Ok Im back home! :-)

    It is raining men at the mall today lmao ( late Christmas shoppers). They are running around buying everything and anything they can get their hands on lol You can tell the ones who only shop once a year, they look totally lost lol…

  217. Anna Molly *397377* says:

    I will let you 😉

  218. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Muse: ** sounding very sincere *** Oh I will bring them. Don’t need to bring anything to wear…trust me *** evil grin ***

  219. Muse says:

    I’m going to take advantage of them being busy right now and claim you as all mine for Jan 12th! Yay!!!!!

  220. Anna Molly *397377* says:

    O.K Muse, that sounds like a great idea! None of the blog daddies like me so I’m sure I’ll be all yours 😉

  221. Muse says:

    SDN – I’m still waiting for my snuggie. I hope you’re bringing them to the slumber party or all the SBs will have nothing to wear!

  222. Muse says:

    NYC SB – I’d marry you for your brownies. I’d probably end up fat but it’d be worth it.

    TXSB – It’s a lot more expensive here and frankly, I don’t trust movers not to “misplace” my vintage purse collection or my favorite cashmere sweaters. I don’t have a ton of stuff but I love all of it and it’s been carefully accumulated over the years. Even losing one bag of it would devastate me for sentimental reasons vs financial. Actually, having my friends help me is often more expensive as we go out for dinner/drinks after but it’s worth it to know someone I trust is handling my things.

    AM – If none of the blog SDs come to your rescue, we can have a mini-dinner party. I don’t think I’m going to make it to Chicago. Furnishing my new place is wiping me out.

    NC – I love cookies….will you bring me some too?

  223. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Big group ** Hi all **

    CASB: You gave a way my PSU snuggie?

    Boston: Sorry about the sweater

    NYC SB: Will you marry me? Can I have a brownie? (like it better in this order?)

    NYC SB: I am not a stalker, I just like to write you and he is a step brother (OK I AM KIDDING, IT IS NOT ME!)

    Test drives: I think they are a great idea if they are with me!

    Oatmeal Raisin: Yummy

  224. NYC SB says:

    Gemi – i should ask him for a picture of them together … really i was literally lmao at that

  225. MoonPatrol says:

    My sugar Baby was convicted of possession of heroin which her brother (God forgive) stashed on her after the cops pulled them over. She doesn’t have marks on her arms and I’m believing her story until evidence leads to new facts. She did 3 months and then a boot camp and then blew off her parole officer. I agreed that whats done is done and no use crying about the past. So she is accepting the notion of going back through the whole thing again. There is a blue warrant out for her about a month or two (i don’t remember). I will help her and have a lot of power in this city by means of relatives that are resourceful and will pay a lawyer to get her the easiest road. As long as she hasn’t killed or assaulted anyone, I think she can walk. I have the ways and means at my disposal. My Cousin is a different story as he is serving a life sentence for a stupid moment in his drugged-up past. There was nothing we could do for him.
    That illustrates my affection for her, but JSMN1229 was right in that i need to find out how she feels about me. I am waiting for her to call me but I ain’t holding my breath and will eventually call her. If she is taking me for a ride, I will quit her, and mourn our loss for about 2 weeks. Thats how long I was emotional quiet and somber last time broke with a love interest.
    By the way, love is love whether it is big or small. There are no different levels. I do understand the cookie analogy and agree with your ideas and would say what the difference is in the context of your love maybe?

  226. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    NYC SB- Ooh the twin brother excuse! parden me, I’m currently roflmao at that one.

  227. NYC SB says:

    unrelated news… i think i have an SA virtual stalker… a long long time ago a man emailed me on the site… we talked and i soon realized he is a fake daddy… add in the fact that he would email me over and over and over if i didnt immediately reply to his message… so i told him im not interested in meeting him… now it turns out he has a new profile… different pictures (upped his income figures by a lot)… he emails me again… i told him i know who he is and im still not interested… his reply is that he has a twin brother and that is who i communicated with … block

  228. NYC SB says:

    CASB – you are super thrifty… i love it!

    NC – aww you make me blush 😀

  229. Boston Honey says:

    Thanks NYSB for the information. I will search the posts in the past.

    Moon Beam – Not all SB’s are that way. Just keep looking. Be smart and safe.

    I don’t think I would be upset if someone did a background check on me as it is common in the workforce, almost all human resource departments conduct them (Although they should have your consent), many friends I know including several CEO’s do it all the time – better be careful is all I tell them you don’t want DOL or EEOC on your ass and you better have a damn good reason for not hiring that person. Also date check advocates it, and the founder of this site suggests to SD’s and SB’s that it isn’t a bad idea as one might have a lot of financial risks at stake and assets to protect.

    As for google, I am very careful you can’t really find much on me in a initial search (Although there is a girl who makes china dolls and everyone thinks that is me…nope) and other social networking sites as well as business are set to private. I don’t think I would get a track phone for a few reasons. 1. I don’t need two phones. 2. Nothing to hide. If I am scared of the person finding out information on me then I don’t think I should be in their company and continue talking to them…trust gut. 3. If I am going to play with someone and enter a SB/SD site you bet your bottom dollar that I want to know their name and who they are for his and my protection too.

    Note to Self: Do not leave favorite sweater on top of weimaraner puppy cage. Shreaded and full of holes… :-( And oh she loves her squeaky duck toy! I think she purposely squeaks it over and over and over……LOL

    Ok, I have to go bring her to the field and work on her whoa, come, and stay….she likes the sound of my sweet Beretta….lol…

    Boston Honey

  230. Anna Molly *397377* says:

    SG2 – hey! How are you :)
    Why are you being a stranger?

    BG – I just had some personal stuff come up…that’s all.
    I’ll be all alone on the 12th unless of course a blog daddy wants to come to my rescue :)

  231. TXSB says:

    Why go through all this headache with the move…especially since you’re one of the lucky ones with a SD! :) I don’t know about where you live…but I know here I’ve hired movers before for $200-$300….which is pocket change to SDs. Good luck BTW! Moving is never fun….*shudders at memory*

  232. CASB says:

    Beach, don’t be fooled! The snuggie is actually not even warm. I was surprised when I used mine the first night.. it’s such thin fleece that you can actually see through it a bit if there’s background light. It’s more of a “trend” (if you can call it that!) than a blanket. I did get a nice fleece blanket at Macy’s on Monday though. Orig $40, was on sale for $19.99 through Sunday but somehow got marked down even further to $11.99 on Monday, add in 2 Godiva chocolate bars and my $15 off $15 coupon and it was $0.97 for the 3 items! :)

    Okay seriously, now I really have to go to work. I’m late for even moving the shift back an hour! Toodles! :)

  233. NC Gent says:

    After having sampled your brownies, I completely understand that NYC SB! Well, not that you don’t have other amazing assets :)

  234. TXSB says:

    Hi…long time no see.

    15 years….WOW!

    NC Gent:
    Great analogy!

  235. NYC SB says:

    NC Gent – when boys tell me how much they love my brownies it is usually followed up with “will you marry me” lol

    great analogy btw

  236. NC~ ok, only if I get a snuggie! IT’s fuckin’ freezing here… 😀

  237. SouthernGent2 says:

    Haven’t looked at the blog in over a week. So many new names that I can’t keep up. There is nothing i can add to all of this great discussion.

  238. NC Gent says:

    Wow — that is remarkable and please forgive my senility, BG :)

  239. NC Gent says:

    Heya CASB — long time no see! I love oatmeal raisin cookies but not sure I would die for one :) I hope you are doing well. Yes, I will take the PSU snuggie.

  240. NC~ 15 , fifteen years , yes…. I told you this before! but yes , we had an awesome Relationship!

  241. CASB says:

    Hi NC!! :) I don’t know about your oatmeal cookie analogy. To me, I love oatmeal cookies and die for something love are pretty much the same.. you don’t know how much I love oatmeal cookies!!! 😉

  242. NC Gent says:

    wow Beachgirl — is that 15 years or 1.5 years?? either one is a good long run :)

  243. NC Gent says:

    Ok Photogirl – next time I am in Tampa lol or is it chocolate chip??

  244. WC SD~ hi, I think it’s all in the attitude and how you manage feelings maybe… I am not jealous usually and like my space … guess everyone is different. I was with my last SD for 15 years and never had a problem…

  245. photogirl says:

    I want some oatmeal cookie love…

  246. NC Gent says:

    That is interesting WC SD. I guess that is another advantage to a distance arrangement. We have always both never been able to see each other as much as we desired. Good to have that conversation up front though :)

  247. WC SD says:

    I’ve found the main reason for most of my SB relationships ending is usually due to the L word. One of us usually ends up wanting more and the other doesn’t feel the same. This always creates tension and drama, and in the end, is the start to hopefully a short road to the relationship ending. I actually bring this up with new SBs so when/if it happens, we can remember our initial conversation and it makes the transition much smoother.

    NC Gent – I love the oatmeal cookie analogy, I’ll need to add that into my relationships.

  248. james.m says:

    Anna Molly — that is simply not acceptable behavior!

  249. JSMN1229 ~ maybe i miss read what you meant…. i am french lol
    by the way welcome, not sure if i said it before

    Anna~ oh no…. :( why not? mail me!

  250. NC Gent says:

    Hi Jasmine — sorry that you are troubled by your sugar “relationship.” I had a 2+ year sugar relationship with a young lady that I met on CL, and she was also in a town far from home that I traveled to on business. Unless you are completely devoid of emotion, it is almost impossible to not develop some feelings over that extended period of time. My SB and I used to talk about the L-word too — but we both agreed that there are different levels of love — somewhere between I love oatmeal raisin cookies and I love you enough to die for you. We joked that our love was the closer to the oatmeal raisin cookie variety. We both knew that we would never end up married to each other for a number of reasons. May I suggest you have the “level of love” discussion with your SD, and that you are uncomfortable talking about it more. Just an opinion, and consider how much you paid for it :)

  251. cleo says:

    Boston Honey i have it set for guys to get it… but you should be able to.

    anyway it’s 406468 :)

  252. Hey guys! I won’t be going to Chicago after all :(

    Things came up and I can’t make it. I hope everyone has a great time though :)

  253. CASB says:

    NYC – You’re making me want to cut my hair! My hair has “maxed out” its length; it’s about mid-back or so. I always want to cut it short but I’d be so devastated to have short hair afterwards because of how long it takes to grow it back out — cutter’s remorse! :) But I agree about it being so healthy, that’s one of the reasons I want to do it. I don’t think short hair looks that great on me because of the shape of my face. Hmmmm… decisions, decisions.

  254. CASB says:

    My gosh I’m so lazy today! I’m supposed to work 11 to 2 today.. a measly 3 hours! And I’m so tired and blah right now, I just have no motivation to go! I have a case of the Christmas Lazies! I just called and moved my “shift” back to 11:30 or 12 so I can take my time getting ready. I don’t think they even care. lol

  255. NYC SB says:

    wented = Vented… blah cannot spell today

  256. NYC SB says:

    TXSB – my neck hurts too… i think i slept wrong as well… or maybe it is from my date on monday… my pot was super tall and i literally had to look up to see him… damn snow made me put on flats (!!) as the 5inch louboutin boots were just not a safe option

    OC – I love gifts from me to me… i got myself an awesome pearl set for xmas (necklace, three string choker neckalce, bracelet, earings all pearls) … yay me… and yay you and the fabulous hair… i will send you a pic of my super cute short cut once i take some… i love the way the short hair feels… super healthy and shiny

    JSMN – while you didnt react to him you did have a reaction… you wented on the blog… nothing wrong with that … we are just trying to help by offering our perspective :)

  257. CASB says:

    Morning all, late for work! Have a great day!!! :)

  258. TXSB says:

    I guess I obviously missed it the 1st time but I just re-read your post after seeing JSMN’s comment. So your 20 year old SB has a parole officer? As in she has been arrested for something criminal and convicted of it?

  259. JSMN1229 says:


    My response: I’m not “overreacting” because I haven’t reacted at all. That is all.

  260. always2sweet says:

    well I was going to hang around and chat with everyone, but my phone alarm just went off reminding me that I have a hair appointment in 15 minutes lol so Hello/Goodbye I’ll talk at you lovelies later

  261. JSMN1229 says:

    In response to MoonPatrol…
    What is she doing with a parole officer?

    Do you know at all how she feels about you?
    To be honest -on a nonSugarDaddy note- A guy who I met on a few different occasions and exchanged numbers with seemed to be smitten with me but I didn’t feel chemistry, a connection or any attraction and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and had no clue how to tell him I’m not interested. He was really sweet and hadn’t done anything wrong, I just wasn’t feeling it. I’m easily won over by intelligence and a hell.of.a personality so I saw him on a few different occasions thinking I would feel a spark but nothing. So I just ignored his texts and phone calls until he gave up. I probably should have been more mature about it but I didn’t want to hurt or disappoint him and besides I think he just liked the idea of me…he’s 31, not very good looking. I’m 19, attractive, petite, nice body. There was nothing between us but I could tell he wanted there to be something more.

    Who knows…in love, it seems you never really know.
    I’m keeping my feelings in my back pocket and leaving them there for a while. I actually wasn’t wanting a relationship which is why I’m still single OH and because most guys my age group are pretty immature. I don’t like feeling obligated to talk to someone, spend time with someone, return phone calls and text all the time and I don’t want someone being upset with me because I don’t do those things. However, when I meet a guy who I’m crazy about I beat myself up for missing a phone call from them, I look forward to spending time with them, I text or call them right away or when I have a chance and I never leave them hanging unless they’re married or have girlfriends.

  262. TXSB~ Oh yeah, you don’t want that to happen!!! I’ve been good working a lot! can’t wait for tomorrow 4 pm!

    OC~ nice… You must love it (hair),. Have fun shopping, i’m sure the malls and stuff are filled with people though… good luck!
    My shopping is always done early, I don’t like the craziness, in the stores, of this time of year.

  263. TXSB says:

    I’m good! Going through SA mail. I have 1 promising pot SD but I think my allowance may scare him. I have some “stories” about the others but won’t share them now b/c I don’t want any of them to “figure” out who I am by reading my posts here (my previous SD did this). But yea….it’s weird being back in the bowl searching. Definately some interesting characters out there…… *sigh* How’re you doing??

  264. TXSB~ I didn’t know someone said the same thing lol… I was like that with my last SD…

    OC~ well put girl! Yes 2 days YAY….

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Hi Beachy! I am going to run some errands. One of which I am so excited I got done. I went and got my hair straightened with that brizillian blow out technique. My blonde hair is smooth and shiny! It was my Christmas present to myself. It is day three and I am going back to the salon to get it washed out and styled. A whole 5 months without flat ironing my hair. Ah-mazing!
      I am with you on the movie and wine idea!

  265. TXSB says:

    Beach_Girl*395953 says:
    we all get attached. it’s how you manage it that makes the difference…

    Bingo! :) I believe it was Anna (or another SB) who also put it nicely a while back…..something similar to how we can’t control how we feel….but we can control how we react to those feelings.

  266. TXSB~ you will get paid as a consultant… doesn’t matter where you are at, you are consulting lol… but i’m sure the SDs will tell you more
    How you been?

  267. JSMN~ I think you are totally over reacting about the word Friend..
    He is married and won’t leave his wife. These relationships are like friends with benefit, you got mad because he said friend then… maybe this isn’t for you? He said he was attracted to you, not knowing if you feeling the same, he said you have gained a friend… nothing wrong with that…. He might love you, but his situation won’t change!
    just my opinion, we all get attached. it’s how you manage it that makes the difference… not sure if it makes sense to you…
    like i said just my opinion

  268. TXSB says:

    Yesterday we were talking about the way in which a SB receives her allowance. Just how common is it for a “SD” to offer to pay a SB through his company payroll? Out of curiosity, doesn’t it “complicate” things if the SB lives in a different state…..or even a different country?! (ie: SB in U.S.; SD in Canada)

  269. NYC SB~ mail is on it’s way!

    Anna~ I just can’t wait for tomorrow 4pm, to get in my pjs and do nothing!!! for the next few days… Got a few movies and documentaries to watch. A few great bottles of wine it’s gonna be great!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Good Morning Beach, NYC SB, AM, NY Gent, Moon, DD and all other lurkers! Only two day til Christmas!! Yah!!!

      Love? Oh I know that for me falling LOVE is a fabulous and life changing event! There are many types of love. I know that if my SD fell in love with me and he was married it would not be an issue. When you set limitations and boundries within something you miss out on all the fabulous fun outside of the lines! With that said, I have had the Love word spoken by a married SD and it was not said with “I love you and I am going to leave my wife for you kind of LOVE”. It was a genuine two way emotion spoken with genuine caring and respect for one another and the worlds we lived in. Enjoy your time, as precious as it may be with your SD, one moment at a time! ~OC

  270. TXSB says:

    Good Morning Everyone! :) Slept wrong last night….neck hurts… :(

    What is this talk about bloggers seeing your pics? Are you sharing? *angelic smile* BTW, glad to hear things with the new SB are going well!

    Re: SD’s “falling” for SBs
    Now I become emotionally attached to a SD…it’s impossible for me to be intimate with a man and not be at least a little emotionally attached. I would definately consider my SD also a friend. That being said…I have a very clear boundry in mind/heart regarding an arrangement. I do *NOT* fall in love with a SD….especially a married one….lol. If I was with a married SD, there’s absolutely no possibility of me ever having a real relationship with him. I would burst out laughing if a married SD tried all this “love” B.S. on me.

    But then again I’ve gone through having my heart broken several time IRL. So when it comes to men in general…I tend to be very suspicious of their words. I’ve been lied to too many times. I’m also not looking for a “romantic love” as the main criteria in a future husband so it’s easier to ignore that stuff for me.

  271. NYC SB says:

    Midwest – haha I just want one SD… Im not good with juggling too many balls in the air

    TLC – feel better 😀

    Boston Honey – any gift over 12k should be claimed… after which your SD is responsible for tax (the gifter) …as big brother is watching I will not repost much more detail on this but if you look through old blogs you will see my advice… and yes I am a CPA but my advice does not constitute legal advice and should not be used if the IRS comes knocking on your door 😉

    Banks are required to report any deposits over 10k but a trigger is hit once you deposit over 4k … so be careful

    CASB – I HATE JS Heels… yes they are cute but the quality is poor, the arch is not made right and it makes my feet hurt… not to mention the wallet ($100 a pair!)… if you want a great pump go for nine west… your feet will thank you

    TXSB – I haven’t given out my profile number either… but curiosity gets the best out of me and I took a look at some of the SDs profiles… and then they caught me!

    BG – email me I have a pot for you to check out

    JSMN – yeah been there done that… idk if you follow the blog but a pot of mine basically told me he would divorce his wife and marry me… thinking back on how things played out I think that men just say these things without really thinking them through… but who knows … also I agree with Sincere… you may have taken the “friend” part too literally

  272. Hi everyone :)

    BG ~ I’m still not done shopping…lol. I told you guys that I wait till the last minute :)
    I seem to work better under pressure :)

    I haven’t wrapped any gifts yet and the cookies aren’t baked. I still have plenty of time…lol

  273. JSMN1229 says:

    D D you are completely right! About everything…

    I actually have been considering taking a break from him or at least keeping it in a platonic friend zone. I did not want things to go this far.

  274. MoonPatrol says:

    cleo says:
    JSMN: remember that most men are kind of bad at writing emotions… and by kind of bad i mean terrible.
    Not all men. I have gone through painful breakups where the message comes over a text and a dialog was never made over the phone at least. That was my first SB and I think she broke it off poorly. I felt bad for about two weeks mainly because she wouldn’t talk to me and I hadn’t done anything or at least she would’t tell me! Luckily I didn’t waste a huge sum on her, but I was emotionally drained and it lasted 2 weeks before I recovered.
    Now I’m smarter and involved with a Sb who is also not very responsive . I’ve known her at the real acquaintance level only a week and seen her two times. It feels like longer than that and she doesn’t always answer the phone or texts like i had asked her to. I’m afraid to call her now because if I sent two texts and one message with no response , I don’t want to keep hounding her and look like a fool. I just don’t know whats up. Maybe she got picked up for her parole violation and is in jail. You see she is 20 and told her parole officer off. I am in love with her already and know I will help her if she asks. So i decided to let her make the next move unless christmas comes before then. My friend says I have been too much about response from my own schedules without concern of hers. But I did pay her rent and shopping and have not done anything with her or felt like I am being impatient. So my emotions –utter fascination and somberness at the same time. I just want to talk is all but it seems too much to ask and she is kind of dragging my heart around. I’m 46 and don’t have kids or wife so I believe I am the driver of my own destiny.

  275. Good day everyone!

    Sincere~ nice to see you back, it IS cold today, my god,,,,

    Photo~ how are you girl?

    Anna ~ are you done with the xmas shopping and baking?

    hi everyone else

  276. Sweetpea says:

    DD: I like this–and it is so TRUE
    “And if you are with a married man, you have to let the phrase “I love you” fall on deaf ears to an extent to preserve your sanity.”

  277. NYGent says:

    Flo Rida: Have you seen the movie “Lost in America.” I hope you don’t lose your “nest egg!”

  278. D D says:

    JSMN1229: I read your post and thought I’d chime in. I hope it helps…

    My feeling is that you may be reading into the word ‘friend’ a little too much. My guess is that if he sent you that mail before you told him you loved him, that you wouldn’t have batted an eyelid. But now there are strong feelings involved, you read twice into everything he says.

    It appears from what you wrote that he cares for you. However, there still needs to be some level-headedness about the whole thing…he is a married man and he won’t leave his wife and I think the mail has those undertones (the phrase “occasional lover”, for one). So basically, he wants you in his life but he is not showing any sign of wanting anything to escalate out of control. Thus from what you write, it appears to me that he does value your friendship dearly. This is fine for a standard mistress/’SB’ relationship, but if you are falling for him, well, it is a different kettle of fish. You seem to want him to acknowledge and declare there’s more to your relationship, and that is venturing into a different territory. Being with a married man is one thing, falling one is entirely different and the latter is rarely a good idea – it changes the dynamic from fun to something that can leave you worrying and even cause you pain.

    I think the decision to cut ties is up to you. Yhave to think about any emotional repercussions and how much keeping such a friendship is worth to you. Maybe taking a break from him might be worth considering.

    And to add about the use of the word ‘love’….in my experience, this word is bandied about a lot. Don’t be surprised if he utters the phrase “I love you” after you’ve spent a good time with him; sometimes it’s used to express gratitude rather than true deep feelings. And if you are with a married man, you have to let the phrase fall on deaf ears to an extent to preserve your sanity.

  279. Sweetpea says:

    good morning every body.

    JSMN: I agree with the guys, certainly not a reason to not respond to him. I think you need to know where you are. In a SD/SB relationship, you need to take ‘each other’ romantic words light-hearted. Or like sincereSD said if it still bother you, let him know.

    my ex-SD told me pretty sure in a few occasions that “I would fall in love with him”, and he tried to make me fall in love with him. I knew where I were. Of course in the end, I didn’t fall in love with him, but i do love him as a friend. We had fun. A sweet memory.

  280. Muse says:

    Yaz – You are a doll! I think I’ve managed to coax 2 of my (strong, male) friends into helping me but if I need more help, I’ll definitely call you up. Thank you.

    NYGent- Oh, so jealous. Please bring back some of that lovely sunshine for us.

    JSMN – I wouldn’t be offended if I were you. I always consider people I care about as friends. Without that foundation, I don’t know how you can have any other relationship. Plus, as Cleo said, he’s a guy and probably not good at expressing his emotions in a flowery manner.

    Sincere – I don’t care what you look like in person. On this blog, you’re gorgeous, and I’m sure that would carry over into “real life”. After all, personality is king.

    AM – They just wanted to give us some alone time. 😉

  281. Lisa's SD in NYC says:

    Oh no. Bunnies boiling in TX?

  282. Flo Rida says:

    Test – been driving since 6am after 2hrs sleep – so tired.

  283. NYGent says:

    JSMN: he did not say he views you “only” as a friend. He said that no matter what happens in the future, at a minimum you’ve both made a close friend. there is a big difference between those two statements.

  284. Did everybody run off again?

  285. Boston Honey Bee says:

    Cleo can’t see your profile.

  286. Boston Honey Bee says:

    JSMN – I would be happy to have such “friend” who cares about me and we have shared great experiences together. Life is too short sweetie. Please don’t read and dwell upon the words. Email him back and say “Thank-you, I enjoy spending time with you.” Leave it at that… I am confident that he likes you very much yet, he is married and that itself is complicated. “i.e community, friends, family, gossip in town, finances, nasty divorce, etc…” He probably never thought he might have these kind of emotions and feelings as no-one really thinks about the emotional consequences and how much our brains really are involved. Perhaps he is just a player but this is the sugarbowl. NSA. If you enjoy spending time with him then why throw that away?

    Just my 2 cents.

  287. cleo says:

    JSMN: remember that most men are kind of bad at writing emotions… and by kind of bad i mean terrible. he MAY be being a total jerk and gemini may be totally right… that said, if you don’t even ask or find out you will always wonder.

    it’s not that i don’t understand your reaction, i would likely share it, but if you guys talked every day for like two years he deserves at least a question rather than an assumption.
    Sincere i would have taken that to be her way of letting you not introduce her to people who might know your wife. i would have assumed she was trying to have respect.

    oh your poor crackberries! you need an iphone!

    *dies laughing*
    AM: i have no idea what sincere looks like although i’m thinking he has asian features since he told us once that he was (profile snippet)… otherwise i assume he’s cute.

  288. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    …I think I’ve spotted Sincere’s photo somewhere along the line 😉

    Ok off to work, have a great day everyone!!

  289. Sincere ~ Has everyone seen your picture, but me? I feel left out…lol

  290. SincereSD says:

    Good PG, Missed seeing you here.

    AM, thanks … but I’m still going to stew about it (like JSMN) 😉

  291. photogirl says:

    Anna Molly – Yes, Sincere is a very handsome man 😉

  292. photogirl says:

    Good morning everyone!

    JSMN – I agree with Sincere and NyGent. I understand him telling you he ‘loves’ you can complicate things… but from what you have written he sounds like sincerely cares about and your well-being and is grateful to have you in his life. It’s easy to say what one will do but when we are actually in that situation ourselves… it may turn out differently. But again, I agree with the guys, certainly not a reason to not respond to him.

  293. Sincere ~ I’m sure you are a very handsome man :)

  294. SincereSD says:

    Good morning Gemi …

    cleo says: Sincere: awesome!

    Yeap, my crackberries are used to dying cruel and usually deaths … drowning in a thunderstorm (in my golf bag) … getting run over my an airport bus … crushed by my SUV … abandoned at a restaurant, etc.

    BTW, fine day for a frost bite :(

  295. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    Hi! I guess I’m the only one who thinks that he overstepped the boundary laid down originally and she is ok in being mad. He did screw with her emotions….bringing love love into the whole equation and then backpedaling to the friend love. I’ve been there and it HURTS and I was angry. It was like “well if you’re going to be all ‘oh em gee, i is surprised by how quickly we connected’, at least realize that YOU brought it up.”

  296. JSMN1229 says:

    SincereSD **I don’t see it as being such an innocent word. It’s a small word that has huge meaning.

    He knows the boundaries of our relationship better than I do. It changes and complicates things even more because. . .if he’d never said that I wouldn’t be upset or emotional if he wanted to stop seeing me but now that that word and phrase has come into play I’d feel hurt and misled if he ever wanted to discontinue any involvement.

    I just think that’s a huge no-no with this sort of arrangement. It’s almost as if he’s tempting me with unavailability.

    What was I thinking saying it back?!
    Oh wait – I think my heart was doing the thinking for me :))

  297. SincereSD says:

    Good morning NYG.

    Anna Molly *397377* says: Do you know if you’ll be going to Chicago yet?

    Unlikely but if I can swing it’ll be a last minute thing.

    SB definitely won’t go as she’s sort of private that way. We ran into some of my work colleagues this weeks as I was in line waiting to pay; she hung back to avoid getting into the conversation or getting introduced. I was insulted but understand her reservations … I hope I don’t look too old or have some congenital skin condition or something like that.

  298. cleo says:

    Sincere: awesome!

  299. NYGent says:

    jsmn: i think you way overreacted to the one word, certainly not a reason not to respond.

  300. SincereSD says:

    *throwing blackberry away and ordering a double espresso*

    Double Arghh, My last message to JSMN should have read:

    Respond to him and forget about the word FRIEND… if it really bothers you let HIM know … but keep it light-hearted

    *resumes droopy-eyed, dazed morning state*

    Good morning Cleo.

  301. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    JSMN – Oh so sorry hon! What a bastard, just flinging that love word around. Sounds like he maintained quite a huge crush on you and just went with it, not evening thinking about how such a declaration would impact or hurt YOU. selfish selfish on his part, especially with this new declaration of “friend and occasionally lover” That is emotionally despicable. I hope you heal from this and bounce back better than ever!

    Someone earlier said “And yeah, I’ve also turned down my share of arrangements, mostly at the mail/phone stage. For an ‘SB’, I am very picky. It’s not always about the allowance they are offering, but the vibe they give off. I really am not into men who are solely about how much cash they can give. It doesn’t do it for me. They have to have a certain ‘element’ to their character that I should be able to pick up on.”

    I just wanted to say I agree 100% on this. I’ve turned down my fair share of guys…its always fun when they are like “but I offered you lots of money! a real arrangement!!” and I’m still like “but I don’t think we’d work out…please respect my intuition and decision on this…” I think a fair amount of SDs on SA think they can “buy” a woman’s decision or “sway” her choice to them if they offer enough cash.

    Morning Anna Molly and anyone else still up! Off to work soon myself! More holiday cheer for me, woo!

  302. Anna Molly *397377* says:

    Hi Cleo :)

  303. SincereSD says:

    Arghh, need more starbucks! My message to JSMN should have read:

    Respond to him and forget about the word LOVE… if it really bothers you let HIM know … but keep it light-hearted.

  304. Anna Molly *397377* says:

    Hi Sincere!! I don’t feel so alone now :)

    Do you know if you’ll be going to Chicago yet?

  305. cleo says:

    NYGent: i’ll take that drive with you and i’m a hell of a navigator with a good sense of direction… and hey, i can drive stick!
    JSMN i would WANT my lover to be my friend and that’s how i read his words.

    i’m with Sincere on this one, if nothing else ask him to clarify.

  306. SincereSD says:

    Good morning AM

  307. SincereSD says:

    JSMN1229 says: ”Who knew we would get so attached. At the very least you can say you gained a good friend who thinks the world of you, someone who loves you, someone who would do anything for you, and occasionally a passionate lover.”

    My heart dropped when my eyes passed over the word ”friend!”
    WTF does he mean “friend?!” A good friend.! (sarcasticallyLoL) I’m so hurt. I’m pissed. I didn’t respond and don’t plan to.

    JSMN, why does one innocent little word change an otherwise good thing? Why doesn’t the phases the follow the word friend count for anything?

    You should be thankful to have a “friend” who cares about you and want to help. Yes, cupid and love makes things a little complicated but you both know his limits.

    Respond to him and forget about the word … if it really bothers you let me know … but keep it light-hearted.

  308. Anna Molly *397377* says:

    Where is everyone today?

  309. Anna Molly says:

    Good morning everybody :)

  310. JSMN1229 says:

    PLEASE READ – I’m really confused.

    thoughts/questions/comments/advice welcome! And be nice people lol.

    I met my married SD when I was 18 (I’ll be 20 on the 29). I posted an ad on craigslist (looking back, that sounds and seems sleazy..I know). I got a million responses but I only talked to and eventually met him. He came to Chicago only a couple times a year so I wouldn’t be seeing him for another 6+ months and during that time he put money in my bank account, paid my phone bill, etc. even though we weren’t seeing each other.

    Soon after meeting him I met my (now ex) boyfriend who I was with for a year and 1/2 and during the time I was with my bf my SD was in Chicago 8 months later. We planned on seeing each other the next time he was here but I declined because I had a bf. He was disappointed with my decision but we still talked and kept in touch anyway.

    So now…Almost two years later, I’m single. (we’ve talked that entire time). He emails me and tells me he’ll be in Chicago. He was here a few days. He picked me up. We have lunch, go back to his hotel, watch a movie, did a little shopping, had dinner. We spent a night together. It was perfect. He leaves for TX a day or two later. He emails me telling me that he ‘fell for me’ the first time we met and that’s why he always stayed in touch and being with me those couple days reinforced everything he already felt.

    We emailed each other everyday after he left. He had only been gone a couple weeks when he emailed me saying his wife was going out of town for 5 days and we might not have another opportunity like this. He flew me out to TX. He paid for a limo to pick me up and drive me to the airport (and the same when I made it back to Chicago). He made hotel reservations and he stayed with me. We did a lot of shopping! I had gotten a massage and body scrub two days in a row, did some sightseeing, etc. It was wonderful!

    Basically – he tells me that he loves me. I told him I was afraid of saying it back because it would just make everything that we felt real. He told me not to say it back because he was married and she’s a good person and he wouldn’t want to hurt her and divorces are painful. The next day he told me he loved me and I told him back. He kept saying how he’d be with me if he weren’t married and how he’d marry me (yes marry!) if he weren’t with her and he’d never cheat on me because he wouldn’t have a reason to…major stuff! They live in a huge house (not a home). No kids. No intimacy. Nothing.

    Now that I’m back in Chicago we talk/email everyday.
    He emailed me as follows…
    ”Who knew we would get so attached. At the very least you can say you gained a good friend who thinks the world of you, someone who loves you, someone who would do anything for you, and occasionally a passionate lover.”

    My heart dropped when my eyes passed over the word ”friend!”
    WTF does he mean “friend?!” A good friend.! (sarcasticallyLoL) I’m so hurt. I’m pissed. I didn’t respond and don’t plan to.

    I knew he was married and made it a point to keep my feelings in my back pocket, never get attached and never express my feelings or emotions to a married or taken guy (and that’s if I even let myself feel anything). I knew I loved him but it’s definitely not something that I would have told him in a million years knowing that he’s married. But knowing he felt the same, I couldn’t resist saying it back.

    Why would he even use that word! Love obviously complicates things. I’m so angry he told me that.

  311. Yaz10 says:

    CASB: Wow just wow…..Thanks for letting us know…

    Uncommon Goods: He is the guy who is worth getting to know for sure
    ;-). Polished, very respectful and oh so down to earth. He shall soon meet a great SB who will exceed his expectations ( sending him good vibes :-) )
    I have had the chance to meet two SD bloggers so far and I was very impressed! Great men!

    Ok folks Yaz is on her way out the door. Early morning for me. :-)

    I hope everyone has a great day! ( Stay away from malls and shopping centers today and tommorrow!!! It will be pure chaos! lol)

    A bientot! :-)

  312. D D says:

    Good day bloggers, I hope you are all keeping well this festive season. It’s been manic around these parts, but thought I’d take the time to contribute :-)

    ***How do arrangements develop for you? Which stages have you gotten to (i.e., initial message, mutual interest, planning, date, etc.)?

    – Well, it’s always been as suggested above: a mail, interest, planning and the date. I’ve only known one man from this site who started the arrangement by sending me an allowance and gifts before even meeting me, but that was his initiative, not at my suggestion. We still talk but the gifts are far less largely because he is a long-distance, no-sex arrangement and we rarely meet.

    I’ve also met a few ‘poof’ daddies, but I don’t let it discourage me. I definitely never burn bridges or send them ultimatums. Who knows? Sometimes life gets in the way for people, it’s happened to me a few times. What I do is I may send them the odd message just to see they’re OK but I still keep dating other men. If they make a reappearance, great. But I don’t count on it.

    And yeah, I’ve also turned down my share of arrangements, mostly at the mail/phone stage. For an ‘SB’, I am very picky. It’s not always about the allowance they are offering, but the vibe they give off. I really am not into men who are solely about how much cash they can give. It doesn’t do it for me. They have to have a certain ‘element’ to their character that I should be able to pick up on.

    James.M and NC Gent: It was funny reading your posts about strong, independent women. I don’t hide it in my profile so the men have an idea of the type of woman they are going to meet. I’m not here to be the mentor, but I want to have some input in showing them some great things too. Everything is about give and take and even an ‘SB’ can provide some great new experiences to the ‘SD’! In fact, I think it gives her added value. And I also happen to be in my 20s too – so it’s not about entitlement, it’s about being an asset 😉

  313. Flo Rida says:

    NY Gent – I can’t f-sleep, and i’ve got 2 hrs before my driving shift! This is going to be a struggle. I have authorized Newbie to meet you (if he so wishes) + a certain SB (if she so wishes). He says he’s wasted over $10k (but this includes flights, dining, shopping) but this is for multiple propsecting trips & current SB’s being cut off. I’ve also banned him from blogging again. Must get some sleep.

    CASB – the moderators will edit the profile # when they wake up.

  314. CASB says:

    Wow.. just wanted to share this with the bloggers so that you can stay away from this “SD” (profile # 243487). I sent out a message inviting pot SD to view my profile and write me back if he liked. He doesn’t specify an allowance amount in his profile, which is why I wrote (I don’t write to SD’s with allowance below the $3k to $5k range though I have $5k to $10k in my own. Below is his response to my initial hello, my response to that, and then his response (which went along with blocking me) — note, I censored the last part because I wasn’t sure if it would post if I didn’t, he definitely didn’t remove the ‘u’. I am honestly appalled by this man, actually no, this BOY. Someone who talks to anyone like that is a child. I just wanted to warn other bloggers about this monster because if he reacts like that to such a pleasant message I would be scared to be alone with him in person and don’t want any other bloggers to be subject to his issues.

    I do specify an amount ready my f*cking profile whore

    MESSAGE Dated – 22 December, 2009 11:59pm

    You didn’t specify an amount, so I had no way to know what you are looking for as far as an allowance. I appreciate you taking the time to respond though and wish you luck in your search. :)

    MESSAGE Dated – 22 December, 2009 11:57pm

    baby our amounts are waaay off.

  315. Uncommongoods - SB says:

    NYGent: I’m a bit intrigued… who is this man with a hidden profile, lavishing gifts upon beautiful twenty-something girls and then drinking champagne from their ungrateful new Choos?

  316. NYGent says:

    Hello all, just coming on after a long day, night all, assume you’re all gone.

    Newbie (whoever you are, assuming you do exist): I could give you stories about wasting $$ on insincere SBs that, as TXSB says, would put yours to shame. I think I am learning, though, and have toned down my injudicious conduct.

    off to the midwest tmw for xmas, then to Cali, will try to stay in tune off and on over the holidays.
    Flo Rida: now that trip sounds like fun. I’ve always wanted to drive cross country. You will see the “real ‘America.” (and not all of it is pretty)

  317. CASB says:

    I’ve wrapped half of my presents! Maybe that will motivate the other half to wrap themselves! :) Sadly, I thought I had the Christmas tree here from my ex, but I guess he took it. I only have a tiny 5 or 6 inch tree.. I put the presents around it anyway. lol

  318. Yaz10 says:

    Good night TXSB!

  319. TXSB says:

    I think my bed is calling me…..lol……

    Good Night Yaz, LASB, Beach and anyone else who’s on! :)

  320. Yaz10 says:

    Muse~ I missed you again. I was serious when I said I will help you move. I have a car ( a crappy one) but it could transport a bunch of stuff to your new place. I really would not mind driving down to the city to help you pack or unpack. Maybe, I could get Anna to come with me if she is not too busy. :-) Anyways, I will email you tommorrow!

  321. Yaz10 says:

    LASB said: “Yaz10 – Maybe TXSB and I and some of the others just come from a different culture, where we are more open about our experiences. It doesn’t mean you have to, but I think it’s ok if others want to. I mean, to each their own.”

    LASB please re-read my comments to TXSB. Not once, did I say that she said anything “crass” on the blog. And you saying maybe you, TXSB, and the other come from a different “culture”….? I will not comment on that. Like OC previously said on the blog, I will keep things “sugary”.
    I believe MANY will agree with me on this; It does not matter which culture you come from but there are just things that a MAN can do and still get respect from society that a WOMAN cannot do. TXSB perfectly understood my point on that. ( I talked about a man talking about his sexual experiences on the blog as an EXAMPLE)

  322. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    TXSB~ talk soon Sweet Sugar Girl!

  323. TXSB says:

    Yep………getting there myself………..just catching up on some e-mails now and then probably go to bed.

  324. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Ok sugars! Have a early morning and full day of work tomorrow

    Good night Ladies , Gents, and Lurkers!

  325. TXSB~ just here for a minute…. so tired and I have such a full day at work tomorrow…
    about the google thing, I use my second real name now…

  326. TXSB says:

    My thoughts exactly! On the 1st date the SD should pay for food/drinks…and travel costs if there are any (plane ticket, hotel, cab etc). But I would never expect to be compensated for my “time”.

    SweetPea says:
    I think a SB shall have a right mind and attitude, but not a demanding attitude, after all the provider shall be the one who deserve trouble free but enjoyable and pleasant relationship.

    I completely agree. There’s a difference b/t speaking your mind/sharing opinions and being “demanding”….and IMO a SB should not be “demanding”……that’s what wives/GFs are for.

    Yay! :)

  327. LASB~ I googled myself once, only a few things come up… my work… sucks! but…. i don’t use that name anymore, changed it! 8) thank god!

  328. LASB says:

    TXSB – I don’t think that you said anything crass or out of line. I’ve shared rather personal things on this blog and I don’t feel bad about it. I mean, isn’t the purpose of the blog to hear other points of views and experiences? If you are on SA, my guess is that you are already rather progressive in your thinking. Just keep on keeping on.

    Yaz10 – Maybe TXSB and I and some of the others just come from a different culture, where we are more open about our experiences. It doesn’t mean you have to, but I think it’s ok if others want to. I mean, to each their own.

  329. Yaz10 says:

    Ok I have finally caught up with the rest of the comments…

  330. Boston~ thank you for the profile comment, for once i re-read the blog!!!!
    You are a hottie girl!

    TXSB~ yes i’m here

    Hey everyone

  331. TXSB says:

    My main point is that SD lurkers who read my posts here don’t know who I am on the SA site…because I have never published my profile number here, and don’t plan on it. At any rate……..I do understand your point and appreciate your concern/advice. Let’s move on…. :)

    I just googled it…..I’m not “john smith”…but thankfully not much came up. But the little bit that did come up is a bit scary though…. :(

    Flo Rida:
    Have a safe drive! :)

  332. Sweetpea says:

    Hi All,

    Wow, it is interesting just to catch up with everyone here. Reading the inputs are delighted to me!!

    TXSB, I am incline with you in approaching a pot SD. First date or first few dates prior to accepting the arrangement, I do not expect SD to give money to compensate time, but I would expect him to pay all the expenses of the date (dinner, drink, coffee). Only if I am ask to fly to meet him for a date, then I will ask for the pot SD to cover my travel expenses, or I ask him to come and see me instead.

    I agree with James that SD or SB ought to be clear what is their role, and in any situation that the arrangement needs to be terminated, it should be understood prior to the arrangement–should it be relocation, incompatible intellectually or physically or emotionally…So, I think it is fair for a SD or a SB to talk for a pleasant break up. I don’t think either party should take advantage of one another.

    I am sorry Moon Patrol to hear about your story, but I think you can decide to take some actions to get your frustration out. If she is not the right SB, then be at your comfort to ask for a break up in advance so that she is prepared.

    I think a SB shall have a right mind and attitude, but not a demanding attitude, after all the provider shall be the one who deserve trouble free but enjoyable and pleasant relationship.

    I thought this is what a sugar land suppose to be, or else, how does the sugar taste sweet :)

  333. LASB says:

    Florida – Somewhat new to the blog and still haven’t caught up on everything. Thanks for the redundancy. I’ll google to find your post as well as the info on the company. Since there are so many posts, I’ve found that using google to find previously discussed topics is the easiest way to find them.

    That race sounds like fun!!!! I’ve always wanted to do a rally since I’m always the group navigator and have lived my whole life in a car/behind the weel. (A true Californian.) Good luck and stay safe. More importantly, win!!!!

  334. Yaz10 says:

    TXSB said “Many of the other bloggers (especially some SDs themselves) share far more sexual details about their arrangements. ”

    You are absolutely right but remember that society considers it ok when a man does it but not a woman does the same thing. It is incredibly unfair but a man describing his sexual experiences is not viewed as badly as a woman doing the same. A man can say he has slept with a myriad of women and be considered a “hero” by his friends but a woman saying she has slept with a myriad of men willl be considered a whore. Sad and truly unfair but it is a reality…..

  335. Yaz10 says:

    TXSB: My comment was not about whether or not you were saying something positive or negative about him, it was about you *maybe* saying too much…I wont get into details but I personally have never seen your profile and do not know you but I do know plenty about your previous SD/SB relationship just from reading your comments. Now imagine the tons of SDs lurkers reading this blog. Just saying..
    Again, thats just me thinking and I could be wrong…

  336. LASB says:

    TXSB – yes, google your full name and see what comes up. That’s when I wish I had a more common name. If you are a john smith, you are probably really tough to track down.

  337. Flo Rida says:

    LASB – get a trac phone – i’ve blogged on this previously.

    TX – note to self if I ever introduce you to anyone :-)

    Moon Patrol – you need to practice saying ‘no’ ‘i’m not comfortable with that’ ‘how about x instead of your suggestion’

    CASB – i’m not moon patrol, or algernon, or curious or even newbie.

    I’m in a Toyota Corolla driving from NY to West coast and then to NY in a ‘real man (woman)’ race. We’re in two person teams and will be driving 24 hours a day (except for gas, we’re peeing in bottles (tough for a girl) easy for a guy. Rules are we need 5 gas receipts from state capital, no navigation tools, $2,000 cash, no food except purchased on way, 1 phone for emergencies. That’s why newbie and I had the same phone. We left noon today & i’m beginning to feel tired. He’s driving nite shift & i’m sleeping soon. F-navigating without a navigator & GPS is f-tough. Weather’s not fun either. I don’t think i’ll be blogging after this. Hope I get back by Xmas.

  338. TXSB says:

    You still here?

    PBI but yes, its scary how much info. a person can find out just based on your name and location alone…..and gawd forbid they know your birth date!

  339. Yaz10 says:

    CASB said: “So I bought a new pair of Jessica Simpson heels last night at Macy’s. I love JS heels b/c they’re so dainty/cute type of sexy and I needed a pair of non-open toe black pumps desperately. I LOVE LOVE LOVE super high heels, but I think these new ones might actually be too high! They’re a 4 3/4″ heel with a nearly 1″ sole lift. I have no problem walking (or even running!) in heels, but these are so high that it’s hard to lift my feet high enough in them not to scuff the heel on the ground every once in a while. I’ve been prancing around my apartment in the heels and flannel PJ bottoms rolled up trying to get used to them, I look like an idiot and the guy below me is probably annoyed to all hell! haha ”

    I 2nd that! I love her jewelry line as well as her shoes! And it is very affordable too! I bought a pair of JS black suede pumps two weeks ago and I absolutely love them!!!! 😀

  340. LASB says:

    Yaz10 – I wouldn’t even want to touch an allowance on the first night because I don’t want that type of pressure. A pot asked me to travel with him, but I was uncomfortable doing that b/c I believe it’s implied that you are “supposed” to hook up then. I’m in the “I won’t sleep with him just for the allowance” club. It has to be someone I genuinely like enough that I would want to jump his bones even without the allowance. It has to not feel like a “pay to play” situation, also.

  341. TXSB says:

    Hi! Thank you for your concern but I do not feel that I have shared any “details” of my previous arrangement that’s “TMI” since I didn’t provide a specific # of dates or days. Actually, my statement was a positive reflection on my ex-SD…and I would imagine any SD reading it would be glad to see a SB making positive statements about her ex-SD…as in I still have nice things to say about him even though we’re no longer together. Many of the other bloggers (especially some SDs themselves) share far more sexual details about their arrangements.

    As for pot SDs, I don’t share my profile # on the blog and also don’t look for pot SDs on the blog (RSD and I did not meet on the blog either). If a SD blogger/lurker doesn’t want to consider me as a “pot” based on my posts here….I’m ok with that. And of course, lol…….I don’t tell pots I meet on the site that I’m “TXSB” on the blog! :)

    Ewwwwwwww!!! Just ewwwww!!! :(

  342. Yaz10 says:

    NYC SB said: “You know guys there is something to be said about test drives that we seem to over look.

    So an SD gives you the month allowance the night he meets you… are you really comfortable jumping in bed with him so soon?

    Im not sure I am… even if the chemistry and mutual attraction is there and all signs point to yes I would at least like to see him one more time before geting naked… but thats just me. At the end of the day this is not just about the money… my rule of thumb is if I wont sleep with him sans allowance then I probably shouldnt be pursuing the arrangement…”

    Thank You! I couldnt have said it better!!!!!

  343. LASB says:

    Uncommon – Well, he didn’t seem the dangerous type, so I didn’t worry about it. But like I said, I am thinking about getting another phone number that does not come with so much attached info. I never gave him my real name, so the only way he could find all this out is from my phone number. He found out my real name first, and then kept looking around, I believe.

  344. Uncommongoods - SB says:

    LASB: Uh, yeah. That’s taking things a bit far to say the least. I would willingly consent to a criminal background check, but anything beyond that is weird and way too invasive. What did you do when you found this out?

  345. LASB says:

    Uncommon – He wouldn’t tell me exactly, but from what I gather, every place I’ve ever lived, what my assets are, what I do for a living, who is related to me, and stuff like that. The most uncomfortable was that he knows all my relatives and where they live.

  346. Uncommongoods - SB says:

    LASB: Ooh. I can understand wanting to make sure that an SB is not some psycho criminal scammer, but there should be some expectation of mutual privacy. What type of stuff did he pull that made you uncomfortable?

  347. Yaz10 says:

    Ok 1000 more comments to read before I can catch up….

  348. Yaz10 says:

    TXSB said:

    “Although I’m not comfortable sharing the specifics of my previous arrangement….I will say that I got intimate with my SD in a very short period of time. I did it b/c I was physically/emotionally attracted to him, and it “felt right”. I never felt pressured”

    IMO, You should not share this on the blog…I might be wrong on this but you can still answer a question without giving some…”details” about a previous relationship. If you let perfect strangers know bits of your sd/sb relationship here and there especially on a blog a pot SD might think you are a bit too “chatty” and not as discreet as they would hope you would be…A lot of people I know do not like the “We did this, we did that..” coming from an ex gf or ex sb….Again, just my opinion…

  349. LASB says:

    Uncommon – Yes, I don’t even know what I would have done. After I heard his stories, I became a lot more paranoid. Also, after the last guy did a full background check on me without my knowing, I’ve considered getting a “fake” phone number. It’s not that I mind him wanting to protect himself, but I was shocked at how easy all my info was to access.

  350. Uncommongoods - SB says:

    LASB: Gross! I am so glad I started paying attention to the blog! I never would have dreamed it possible to meet that type of creep as an SD faker, so thank you for sharing that.

  351. LASB says:

    TXSB – There was an SD who would travel to see SBs, or so he said. He’d had the SB pick him up from the airport (red flag.) He claimed to have a jet and homes all over the world. At some point, he asked to take a “test drive.” She refused and started bringing him back to his hotel, as she didn’t want anything to do with him. While she was driving, he zipped down and finished!!! YIKES!!!!! She was too nice to kick him out of the car, or maybe too scared. They tracked him down and found that he was living in some crappy one bedroom apt outside of Detroit or something, had bad credit, etc.

  352. Uncommongoods - SB says:

    LASB: LOL you are so right! He must have already gone through all of the locals!

  353. LASB says:

    TXSB – well, obviously all the NYSBs are on to him, so he has to widen his search to more unsuspecting SBs. I’m guessing that he would also expect you to shell out for your own hotel room, which then he’d come by to “seal the deal.” Or better yet, you can sleep in the basement with him at his mom’s place.

  354. 2Chic says:

    Welcome, sorry for the bad experience, but for what it is worth there are bad on both sides. I have an experience with a guy from the site that actually progressed to intimacy, and he seemed to not understand what the word “allowance” meant. In truth we were mutually attracted to each other, but in spite of it all, he still wants to “hook up” and not even consider an allowance How messed up is that?. So there are fakes on both sides.

  355. TXSB says:

    Good Night Midwest!

    LOL….yea…..When I first joined the blog I had already met RSD…and haven’t searched for a SD since then. Now that I’m searching again after being on the blog and learning so much…..it’s shocking to see that not everyone on the site knows what we know! LOL! Yep….silly me!

    I know! If his budget is 2K….I have no idea why on earth he’s contacting someone long distance…. *shaking head*

  356. Midwest says:

    Yikes – my english prof would be marking that last comment with red everywhere! Must….get….sleep!

  357. Midwest says:

    Ok..almost going to dreamland

    MoonPatrol – This has happened to sds and sbs alike regardless of education, etc. Chalk it up to a learning experience. The one thing I can say is confidence in yourself…whatever has made you successful in your career…is very useful in sugar dating. I don’t know you, but I will assume that you have a lot to offer a sugar baby…and I don’t mean cash. If you some intuition that your date needs cash yesterday, NEXT!!! Remember that you do have the upper hand as there are many sbs for every sd on this site, you have what the sbs are looking for: your drive for success, desire to please, and willingness to be an sd to the right lady are all reasons you should be selective and careful. If you haven’t noticed it yet, the ladies on the blog are top notch, sincere sbs who understand the meaning of mutually beneficial relationships. Get up, dust yourself off and try again. 😉

  358. Midwest says:

    Well sugars, just had a lovely chat with james…he’s in a much better mood now!

    Food…I’m craving chocolate!

    ESB – You are so considerate…Thanks!

    2Chic – even though we miss each other often, glad to see you back!

    I’m off to dreamland. G’night all.

  359. always2sweet says:

    Well sugars, Im off for the night. Gonna see if I can find a good movie to snuggle up and fall asleep to. Have a wonderful night. And hang in there MoonPatrol, there are good sugars out there who are worth everything you have to offer, it takes time. Trust me, I am still playing the waiting game. Being on the blog helps, and just knowing that you deserve the sweetest sugar out there and there is one for you!

  360. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    Hello all! Freezing where I am….but at least there is snow on the ground! I hate when its freezing cold but no snow to show for it 😉

    MoonPatrol – Not all SBs are like that….perhaps you need a more stringent weeding-out process before you find the SB for you..and start the arrangement 😉

    TXSB – Yeah, so many pot SDs don’t seem to understand that travel arrangements should be taken care of by the SD. I’ve had quite a few guys (younger, in their 30’s) say “oh, you’re from MD? Well you should visit NY sometime!” and then just leave it at that…never to be heard from again.

  361. TXSB says:

    Firstly welcome to the blog! The only thing I can say is that there are true SBs out there who’re nothing like the females you describe in your post. I never ask for or expect any money or gifts on the 1st date. I have very traditional values when it comes to my role as a woman…so whether it’s a BF or a SD, I always “cater” to my man. As for the amount of money you have spent on “fake SBs”…..our blog friend NYGent may have you beat in that department! (NYGent…sorry to use you as an example!)

    *sigh* Yea….I just couldn’t believe it…..and you’re right…..NEXT! :)

    My darling! We finally *catch* each other! :)

  362. mimi says:

    I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had such bad experiences moon patrol. It’s so hard to differentiate between the fakes and someone who is actually genuine, but there are sincere SBs out there.

    The way I see it, these bad experiences are good for something. It’ll definitely help and make you more cautious when it comes seeing potential SBs.

  363. MoonPatrol ~ not all sugar babies are like that… sorry you had such horrible experiences!

    Hi everyone! it’s snowing and so windy tonight,,,, it’s really cold too…
    Hope you all had a good day

    OC~ How is my sister? sorry i missed you, talk soon….

  364. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    TXSB: I’m sorry about the pot. He’s either bluffing about his level of financial success, or he’s just cheap and treating this like an escort deal. Oh well, next!

  365. MoonPatrol says:

    Don’t give these Women any money!
    Mutually beneficial means The guy pays for the date but no money until the man (me) and the woman are really giving of themselves. When a sugar is on a date Her attention is on the man ONLY, not “i have to go because I have a big day tomorrow”. If you don’t like me fine leave but don’t come back!
    I’m an educated Idiot!!
    I hate internet dating but what the hell else is there? Luckily i worked so damn hard that my losses won’t hurt me but the principle of the matter is despicable.
    A lot of these women are on dire straits with regards to money and should not be doing this if they are in a hurry for cash..

  366. MoonPatrol says:

    First Dates:
    I have been asked for money on first dates, I assume to prove my validity. I foolishly complied before I even decided if I was really attracted to this woman. I keep getting this front end request for money after the first date as if we are married Sugars and it’s not fair and worse that I let it happen. I broke it off with this one when I decided it after only seeing her three times in two weeks that I didn’t want to gamble any more. Yes we had sex but then she left rather soon after. I agree with a previous post that why should I be giving money so soon in a relationship.? I have taken my recent baby shopping on the first date, and have since been rather frustrated with her lack of responsiveness on the phone. I have given given given in my relationships and just been taken taken taken. Am I an idiot idiot idiot? How do you detect a real sugar baby from a up-front taker? I’m supposed to prove my valor($) in hopes of sex and companionship in the future? If i could tell you how much money I have spent on my first four SB’s it might make you sick. I’m still with the last one and the second to last one is hanging by a string as She is not contacting me . Oh well Expensive lesson for me…

  367. TXSB says:

    Sooo….I’ve been exchanging some messages with a “pot SD” this evening. He’s in NY (he contacted me), and so I asked him what type of arrangement he’s looking for etc. Turns out his “offer” to me would be that I fly to NY 2x/month…..for 2K/month. And that’s not all……..he was shocked at the idea that HE would be responsible for the travel expenses! *sigh* I’m not sure if I should laugh or cry………*sigh*

  368. always2sweet says:

    CASB you are very lucky! I hate sweets, well not completely, but I am more of a savory kind of girl. As far as genes go, I actually have really good genes, I think my body was meant to be thin which is why it responds so well to weightloss. I started gaining weight b/c of medical complications in my stomach. I actually still deal with a lot of those problems, but I really try to make sure that I do everything I can now to make sure that my body doesnt have any extra incentive to hold on to fat. Im pretty commited to losing every single pound and ounce that was gained over the years because of this bs. It sucks though when my own body is kind of fighting against me. Its a very arduous cycle. but enough about that, lets talk about something nicer :)

  369. Boston Honey - 413431 says:

    Hmmm Cleo, very valid points and please note I appreciate what you are saying. I guess I am super active and have taught fitness full time too and everyone I know and the sports I do require you to be very fit. Especially skiing, mountain biking, and power yoga, have you ever been on a 4 hour epic mountain bike ride, oh my god, the fat shakes off your body, and you hold on for dear life and pedal up mountains as any yummy pancakes and nachos are burned off…. Mountain biking ladies will do the trick….get out and ride! Have to think this one over. As the few potential SD’s that I have met loved the fact that I didn’t have a body shot on my profile. That is what intrigued them even more…. I have emailed potential SD’s a shot once they ask and they have been quite delighted….;-).. Interesting indeed. Most of my shots are of me in fun costumes, at the beach, or totally random fun shots.. I feel the energy and aura of men too via their face pics thus, I request face not body or something else….lol…

    Oh my, off to bed…


    Boston Honey

  370. CASB says:

    Nite OC! And I’m beginning to think I never said hi to Taz earlier! Eek!! Hi Taz when you come back, so sorry!!!!!

  371. CASB says:

    What I forgot to mention in that post was that I feel that I have good genes (combined with being a child athlete) which has blessed me with the ability to stay thin and essentially eat what I want. It’s just scary because I’m adopted and don’t know what my genes are really like since I don’t know what my mother looks like.. who knows if she’s thin or not now (which means who knows if I will be or not). As much as I really enjoy some healthier foods now (I love broccoli and wouldn’t even LOOK at it as a child!), I still absolutely LOVE my dessert and sweets! When I was in Mexico I ate a plate of desserts (I tried all the ones that looked yummy at the buffet) each day at lunch and dinner! I even have a photo I took of me with a plate of dessert and my knife and fork crossed in front of me like a typical tourist! :)

  372. always2sweet says:

    OC, glad I didnt offend you :)

    Uncommon, thanks for the congrats. I still have more to lose, but atleast now I can wear clothes that I like and feel good about myself while Im losing the rest. It is an amazing feeling to accomplish something like that. When I get to my final goal, I am going to the Caribbean or SOMETHING lol

  373. CASB says:

    Lisa – I love CPK. Haven’t been there in a while, but I only ever order one type of pizza (which you wouldn’t like) — the Garlic Chicken Bacon I think it is. On the wheat crust is soooo good!!! They’re so freaking expensive though and the grocery store freezer section ones don’t even come close to the fresh ones. On an side note, I once ate a whole white/spinach freezer kind to myself after not eating all day and that’s how I found out I’m allergic to spinach! Not a fun night!! haha :(

    I think I lucked out in the chubby kid department. I was always really thin and in shape. I played softball and soccer (and even basketball and cheerleading for a time) and had a “6-pack” in high school. I ate like crap (and still do sometimes).. I would come home from a softball game and eat Lays chips dipped in a mound of JIF. I look back and am like what the heck was wrong with me! haha I don’t work out (I just really don’t like the gym because I was an athlete, I’d rather play sports that do machines) and still eat junk food (no more chips with peanut butter though!) so I’m afraid it’ll catch up to me as I get older, but I’m a size 0 still (I have nice curves though which is nice, just because that’s my body shape). I keep telling myself I will start working out, but it never happens. I did just get that new Wii Your Shape game with Jenny McCarthy for free though, so maybe I’ll do that. :)

  374. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    A2S: I agree. Some parents make me want to scream. Congratulations by the way on losing weight yourself!

    With the utmost intentions of not being insensitive to those who’ve struggled with genetic weight battles… it’s hard to get fat as a kid! You’ve gotta really be making the wrong choices for quite some time to become obese, and I mean more than just a little tummy. You’ve got to eat crap for years and not do anything active.

    As a vegetarian (eating dairy) of 15 years, I’ve never been over 125lbs. And that was when I was having dessert like 3 times a day!

  375. always2sweet says:

    anyway, I didnt mean to be a downer, I just get a little ampt when a hot button topic comes up lol. It wasnt my intention to hurt anyone, and I hope I didnt come off as sounding like too big of a bitch…Im really nice :) lol

  376. 2Chic says:

    There was a period I was overweight as a kid, and at age 12 I sprouted up and it was gone. So all is not lost if a child looks overweight, once the growth spurt takes place, they could be slim. Genetics plays a big role in it as well.

  377. always2sweet says:

    OC I know that my statement was broad, and I hope I didnt offend you, but there is a huge difference in being puggy, and being unhealthy. I guess Im not trying to say that every kid who has some extra weight on them has horrible parents and is inactive, I know that some peoples genetic make up wouldnt even alow them to be “thin” no matter how active they are. My point I suppose was that there is a seriously dangerous epedimic of childhood obesity in this country, and more often than not it could be prevented by parents getting their kids out from in front of the TV, off the XBOX, take the figgin high fructose whatever out of their hands and do something active with them and *gasp* maybe even make a homemade dinner. Dont get me wrong, I know that this is not ALWAYS the case, but like I said the numbers speak for themselves, and childhood obesity in America is out of control

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      A2S, not offended. I love everyone! * * * l ( : l>

      • OCSugarbaby says:

        Sweet Good Night Sugars. I was hoping for some sugar talk. Going to go take my dog for a long walk since the topic is food. It is a beautiful evening in Cali tonight! (haha in OC’s head she feels like the fat kid running screaming from the room) lol

  378. CASB says:

    I was just looking at Costco’s website to see what giftcards they have and in their gift section they have 2 tickets to the SuperBowl and I was just thinking how freaking awesome it would be to have a SD take me to the SuperBowl. Holy cow, that would be amazing. Especially if my Steelers are in it (which I’m sure they won’t be this year :()!

  379. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    There is a California Pizza kitchen down the street at the mall. I went there once, ordered the margarita pizza (I only eat tomato pizza) and was not impressed as the pizza was too flat

  380. CASB says:

    While we’re ranting about food (how did that happen anyway?) did you know that McDonald’s owns California Pizza Kitchen and Chipotle (I think they sold all their shares of them now, but still!)?

  381. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    It is the norm in Texas it seems, especially amoung the Hispanic population. They believe a fat child is a healthy child. I often see huge children that weigh more than I do and they’re sucking down a big soda or eating a large bag of cheetos. There was a lady in the store today as I was stocking the haircolor and she was talking to her friend about having to get a certain hair color and nothing else would work. she didn’t want to look funny, however her butt was over 2 feet wide. I have to be honest and say I didn’t notice her hair, I did notice how behind though, lol

  382. always2sweet says:

    thanks for the keep with the quiting support guys! Towards the end of me smoking, I actually kind of hated it and only did it out of habbit. Cigs just tasted aweful to me, then I would have that ‘one’ that would just hit the spot when I was stressed or whatever. But I eventually quit cold turkey, but right about now I cant say that I would turn down a menthol lol

  383. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    Lisa: Pappas! That’s it. They have Mexican, Greek, BBQ and Seafood. It was a favorite chain for one of my Houson-based coworkers and each one served huge plates of food.

    I met some nice people there, but it was definitely scary in certain areas.

  384. always2sweet says:

    Lisa I agree whole heartedly! When I see an overwheight kid I litterally want to hit their parents. I was a thin child and VERY active. And when I wasnt doing physical activity like dance or sports or playing, I was reading. The absolute lack of care these horrid parents have for their childrens physical fitness is disgusting. Not only is it dangerous, they are making their kid a target for bullying and just begging for self esteem issues. To me, allowing your child to get morbidly obese or even just fat for no reason is a form of child abuse. Right now I am considered “average” according to my BMI(I was actually FAT about a year ago), but I would like to and am working at having a much more svelt lean figure. And I say that to point out that I couldnt imagine a child going through the emotional stress alone of being over weight, nevermind the plethora of other issues that they will experience naturally as a child, and unneccisarily because they have lazy parents. UGH! I really need to get off my soap box with the ranting lol. There seems to be a lot of issues coming up tonight that I have strong opinions about lol

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Aww I was a very puggy kid! But I blossomed in eighth grade into to a 5’6 size 4. I was very active kid and had great parents. Your theory does not fit.

  385. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:


    I’m not sure about cafeteria type restaraunts but there is a chain of restaraunts owned by Pappas, which includes Papadeaux(seafood), pappasitos (mexican) and Pappas (not sure what that one serves) and then there’s a Goode Company Barbeque restaraunt and a Goode Company Seafood restaraunt. All of these are close to my area.

  386. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    Sorry for the typos. Argh.

  387. 2Chic says:

    Well how are we doing this evening Sugas? Funny I keep popping in and out. Gonna try to hang around a bit this evening.

    As for allowances., from my experiences with POT, they seem to groan when I bring it up. I am like…. why in the frizzy are you on the site if you are going to act like this about an allowance? Did you not know what the SA entails?

  388. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    Lisa: HA! I had to travel back and forth from AZ to Houston for work earlier this year and I swear that everyone seemed overweight! What’s that chain of cafeteria style restaurants everyone goes to – some are BBQ, Greek, Seafood? Anyway, the portion sizes are huge and it seems like even the children were clearing their plates. I felt like a little a freak trying to find a healthy meal in Houston. I’m a little 5’2″ vegetarian.

    In general though, it’s crazy to me how 20-30lbs overweight has become ‘average’ to most people.

  389. CASB says:

    ESB – Nice! Since you’re on a personal level with Santa, please also request a 3rd gen 32gb iPod Touch (I think I’m one of very few people without an iPod!) and a SD for me as well. :) Thanks! :)

    A2S – I quit smoking over a year ago and then when I went through that drama with my ex on Thanksgiving I had to buy a pack in the following days just to ease my anxiety. I bummed out about 5 of them, so that’s 25% of the pack right there. I had the last one a couple days after I got back from Mexico and have no desire to have any more.. I just needed that little bit to get me through what I was going through. I swear I have anti-addiction. Even when I WAS smoking, the longer I was smoking the less I would actually smoke. :)

  390. cleo says:

    a2s i didn’t smoke for eight years … and then i went to europe and had a few cigs. wow. it took several months to stop taking a drag once in a while “oh, it’s been a couple of weeks, it’s fine…”

    it had been years since i wanted one. i figured wtf i’m on vacation…

    and still i want one.

    just stop girl.

  391. cleo says:

    Boston: i live in toronto, canada. i certainly don’t consider myself fat but i’m not slender or reedlike by any stretch of the imagination. i have teachers who are ripped and others with a cute little pot belly but every one of them owns her body.

    also, you have so many skills that i would assume you taught a couple of yoga classes a week rather than being a full time fitness professional so again i’d wonder about your body. that said, from your pics it’s clear you’re slender, you can see it in your face.

    the general blog wisdom on pics is
    1 face shot smiling big
    2 body shot (generally suggested you wear black but i didn’t listen about pose or clothes)
    3 random other pic (like your mask one)

  392. My bills are medical (was diagnosed with asthma last spring!) and credit cards. I can use money orders to pay those. My car payment (highway robery paying for that POS!!) comes right out of my checking account, so yea, put just the amount I need in to cover it. I might use a money order to just make larger payments and get it over with!! Then go get something DECENT!! Ford sucks!! Sorry, ranting again…

    OK Im done, eyes are closing.. night!!

  393. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Boston Honey, you obviously have never been to Texas. In Houston being fat and out of shape is considered “average” I saw a grossly overweight little girl on the bus today, must have been 5 or 6 years old , huge. Very sad that parents do this to their children

  394. always2sweet says:

    on a completely unrelated note(which I feel like Im becoming famous for lol) I am really craving a cigarette right now! I quit in August, and have only taken a drag of a friend’s or my sister’s cig probably 5 or 6 times. But…..I am having an ice cold blue moon right now(with orange of course) and am just completely relaxed, and all I can think at this moment is ‘damn a cigarette would be so perfect right now!’ :( but Im gonna stay strong! Even though I want one REALLY bad, my profile says I am a non smoker and I plan to keep it that way. Dont want to make a liar of myself.

  395. cleo says:

    ESB: you can pay your bills with cash, it’s just a pain. go to the cable store and give them cash for a few months up front, that kind of thing…

  396. Uncommon Goods: good point, I didn’t think of that! Would love to pay off all my bills and go to bed, breath a big sigh of relief and … SLEEP!!

    CASB: Sorry about your camera Hun. That is just terrible. I met Santa, on here, or so he claims… I’ll put in a good word for you!! 😉

    Speaking of sleep, 6 AM comes awful early in the AM… better go see if I can get some rest. My 20 YO told me I look exhausted… I’m going to try to catch up on my sleep this weekend!!

    HUGS to everyone!! Good night!!

  397. TXSB says:

    Hi! Glad to hear one of the things keeping you busy is sugar dates… :) And I agree with you. For a SB to expect to be compensated for her “time” on the 1st date is ridiculous.

    If you use cash to purchase everything…the only “bills” I can think of would be rent, car payment etc. I know at least in my case, I can mail money orders for all my bills. Worse case scenario, if you *have* to pay a bill through your checking account b/c they don’t accept money orders, then just deposit the amount of the bill.

    I’m also a huge fan of high heels! I 2nd Eastern…would love to see a video of you prancing around! :)

  398. CASB says:

    Agreed A2S!

  399. CASB says:

    I’ve decided to not go shopping tonight. I don’t feel very well. I think I’ll just wrap presents and maybe put up the little tree. Then I have to do a couple quick work reports and then I think I’ll work on my SA profile so I can finally find a SD. I’m very positive on that front right now though I’ve yet to receive any SD messages! lol

  400. always2sweet says:

    I agree Sincere, I think that would be just completely trashy to ask someone to pay to even meet you! On a sugar date or a date IRL I’d expect the other party to maybe pay for dinner or drinks, or whatever it is that we are going to, but this idea that some of these self centered SBs have that their time is SO valuable is laughable. Im curious as to how these women can even part their lips to say that their time is any more valuable than the SDs…especially when he makes more money that you, you lunatic! I think to have a good arrangement both parties need to have a healthy respect for what the other is giving and feeling. To me it just doesnt seem like it would work if one part felt more entitled, ya know.

    hahaha I say all this as if I have been on even 1 sugar date, but to me it really just seems like common sense, and general decensy(sp)

  401. CASB says:

    haha I would take video, but my camera went into a coma in Mexico. I don’t know what is wrong with it, but for some reason all my photos are blurry now, even when it feabily attempts to focus, they’re awful. I tried wiping the lense, but it didn’t help. Why couldn’t it have died BEFORE Black Friday??? Ahhh!!! Maybe Santa will bring me a new one. haha

  402. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    ESB: You can convert large amounts of cash to cashier’s checks to pay anything and everything. Credit cards, rent payments, car payments can all be paid by cashier’s check.

    A dilemma for me would be my mortgage. Doing taxes at the end of the year, it may raise red flags to not report ANY income if there is a mortgage interest statement you have to report showing that somehow payments were being made. That’s why I’ll always have at least a minimal part time job.

  403. Boston Honey - 413431 says:

    Cleo….where are you hanging out? I have never met anyone fat or not in shape in all of the cities I have lived in. San Diego, SF, Boston, Seattle. Interesting…but valid…. Ok, perhaps I need to consider changing a photo or two…wish they allowed more pics on here….LOL…


    Boston Honey

  404. SincereSD says:

    CuriousSD says: I have a question for SincerSD, as he said, “2nd round interviews: Go on dates with several SB; multiple dates with your 3 strongest candidates.” Now, do you tell these SBs that there are other candidates being considered at the same time and that, for example, they are on their third date being compared with two other SBs.

    I tend to tell pot SB that I am going on other dates because most will ask at the end of our date when we can get together again. This has the interesting side-effect for some SB to really turn on the charm and pursue me more aggressively … ranging from more frequent contact (calls, SMS, email, etc) to very seductive communications. Usually pot SB will want to know when they will hear back from me and how I will decide.

    CuriousSD says: A question for the blog as a whole–after how many dates is it typical for SBs/SDs to have sex? Is there a difference with IRL dating?

    It’s ranged from 2-10 dates for me although I have had offers for “test drives” on the first date because the attraction was very strong (or we were too drunk). The 10 dates was a bad example of neo-NSA (No Sex Allowed) SB where I was “charmed” into providing an allowance. Turning down a “test-drive” also backfired on me as the pot SB was so insulted she declined another date with me 😯

  405. CASB: OMG you are TOO funny. I want to see a video of you prancing in your new shoes!! Good for you!!

  406. TLG: Aww.. now you REALLY need a SB to help take care of you. Poor baby. Get home soon so you can relax and get better… though it sounds like you are getting lots of pampering all ready!! good for you!

    I’m laughing at all the pregnancy stories… so not happening with me.. I think 4 is enough. Actualy, medically impossible for me!!

    I was holding my frineds grandaughter the other day, one of twins, and had this fleeting thought of how I’d like to be a grandma… very fleeting!! Sooo not ready to go there.

    Another thought to the allowance… if I have all this money in my account, or the activity is shown that there is money coming in and out, won’t that be seen as income? I’d have ot deposit it in my checking account so I can pay my bills with it. Cant use cash for that. I’d have to show something for it because it would show up on my bank statement come tax time. How do we handle that? Dont want to be thrown into a hight tax bracket, which right now is NOT a concern for me. I made VERY little this year. Any thoughts??

  407. SincereSD says:

    Hello everyone, haven’t been able to follow the blog for the last few days due to xmas parties and sugar dates. I should be out finishing my shopping but it’s such a zoo out there :(

    CuriousSD says: Also, how do you deal with SBs who want money to meet either the first or second time?

    Welcome CSD. I will tell them unless there is a very good reason such as having to take a train to see me or hiring a sitter for the kids. Here’s an example of my communications with such a request:

    Thanks for your reply.  FWIW, I’ll offer a few words of advise since you are new to the scene.

    I’m not sure we are on the same page as your approach assumes that:
    (1) my time is not worth anything;
    (2) I have something to prove or;
    (3) you are the only SB available. 

    There are a lot of fakes in world of sugar dating but I’m sure that you will figure out an appropriate method of screening candidates rather than turning them off.  Real SD will gladly offer their generosity when they feel some bond or attraction to a SB.  It’s really a risk/reward scenerio … take a bit of risk and you may see some rewards.

    Best of luck with your search.


    PS. I copied a comment from a blog that I post on that you may find relevant.

    “Not sure I understand the concept of the SD having to show up with money at the initial meeting. In my experience, at least 50% of the SBs have lied in their profiles, and another 40% have been honest, but there’s no connection and I’m not interested in seeing them again. Having to pay for the privilege of an awkward first date seems kind of ridiculous to me, and I have to say I’d immediately reject anyone who even implied that.

    I don’t see this as any different than the SD asking to “try the merchandise” on the first date. And I’ve heard the argument that the SB is investing her time, so the SD should pay for that, but it’s equally true that the SD is investing his time.
    Any SB who wants to demand money and/or an expensive and lengthy date as the price for an initial meeting is, of course, free to pursue this course, and I hope it works out for you. I guarantee, however, that your refusal to invest even an hour of your time in meeting a pot SD is alienating at least some of the SDs out there. And I’d hate to think that SBs reading this blog would assume that this behavior is expected, or even normal. I’ve met with half a dozen women through this site, and not one has even suggested that I show up to the initial meeting with an envelope of cash.”

  408. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I feel completely safe when I’m inside as all murders have taken place in the early morning hours in the parking lot. As far as mace, a friend gave me some of that after I got robbed and since I came home from work late at night, I made the mistake of taking it in my purse to work, got in trouble for it as the store had a no weapon policy, they were more concerned that I might mace someone in the store rather than my safety. Anyway i’d probably spray myself down, lol

  409. Boston Honey - 413431 says:

    I am going to a women photographer and all women crew in their gorgeous Victorian House. It is all set up with different themed rooms. I can’t wait! I already went for a initial meeting with them and looked at their books and met a few women who had it done and her pics were amazing!!! I hope mine come out as well too, I am sure they will. Now, every time I see a sexy shot I am snapping it on my iphone. The lady at VS yelled at me and said, “Hey that is copyrighted…” Looking for really sexy lingerie that photographs well and saving images for my collection of photos to bring to them so we can reproduce them and have some ideas on where to start…..

    I don’t think I would go to guy photographers though…

    Boston Honey

  410. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Yes but i’ve overtalked that subject on the blog, When and if I move I hope it’s a step up, no orange sticker from the city

  411. CASB says:

    Lisa – Yikes.. it sounds like you need to save yourself the hassle and have a SD pay for you to have a home security system installed and paid for each month as a gift! You need like a mace of the month club.. :(

  412. mimi says:

    hmm didn’t see that video before. It’s really sad what happened to her.

    Lisa- It sounds a little unsafe where you live. Ever thought of moving?

  413. CASB says:

    So I bought a new pair of Jessica Simpson heels last night at Macy’s. I love JS heels b/c they’re so dainty/cute type of sexy and I needed a pair of non-open toe black pumps desperately. I LOVE LOVE LOVE super high heels, but I think these new ones might actually be too high! They’re a 4 3/4″ heel with a nearly 1″ sole lift. I have no problem walking (or even running!) in heels, but these are so high that it’s hard to lift my feet high enough in them not to scuff the heel on the ground every once in a while. I’ve been prancing around my apartment in the heels and flannel PJ bottoms rolled up trying to get used to them, I look like an idiot and the guy below me is probably annoyed to all hell! haha :)

  414. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    oh and there was the man found floating in the swimming pool, he had a little too much to drink and climbed the fence and fell in.

  415. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    CASB nothing is ever done when crimes occur in these complexes. There have been 3 murders in my complex and we still have zero security. That place was renovated a couple years ago but if you keep the same tenants, it’s like painting over the leak in the ceiling without first repairing it, the leak comes back.

    I’m not sure if it will be televised, I doubt it. You can probably click onto any of the Houston news channels when it begins to find out what is going on. She was a good friend of mine.

  416. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    Boston: Doing a boudoir shoot sounds fun. I need to get one of those done too while I’m still young and perky. The odd thing is that I don’t really have many pictures of just myself at any adult age. I’ve got tons of group shots with friends on vacation, with co-workers at various functions, with associates at events or galas – but none of just me. I only realized this recently.

    Speaking of which, I need to update my profile. I should probably add a full body shot, but I’m really nervous about being recognized locally. I have a fairly unique/exotic look with long curly hair, and I used to mingle alot with the executive & political circles in my old job. You know, the same crowd who would likely be the SD pool in my area.

  417. TXSB says:

    Boston Honey:
    Have you ever had a SD before or are you looking for your 1st arrangement?

    Thanks to your post….now I’m craving some chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies!

  418. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I think I drank to much cough medicine, lol

  419. CASB says:

    Whoops.. I meant by the time *I* get home!

    Lisa – the good news on that apartment is that it probably is safer now that someone broke in because people are on guard and upgrades will likely be made so it most likely won’t be a target now. :) Do you know if your boss’s trial will be televised? (a la CourtTV or somewhere else?) I don’t recall seeing anything about it on the news, but I’d be interested in following it if it is available for viewing. So sad. :(

  420. cleo says:

    Boston Honey i know a lot of lifetime fitness instructors who aren’t thin. i’ve been teaching pilates full time for six years and i’m not thin at all. i know a few great teachers who are chubbier than i am and many who are thinner.

    most of the ones who do nothing but teach yoga or pilates seem to end up somewhere between a thin but really obviously in shape body and one a little rounder than mine. but man, the one thing all the long term ones have in common is phenomenal carriage and a great figure.

    take a look at my ‘full body’ shot… you might find something like that worth posting. gives them a nice idea of your figure without being a posed bikini pic?

  421. Midwest says:

    Cleo – hilarious! I’ve actually started up with a personal trainer again. When that no longer works, I’m taking on Joan Rivers’ advice and having plastic surgery until my ears meet…heheheh. J/K….maybe.

    Lisa – hope something reveals itself. I love what your sd said earlier about going from the governess to the lady of the house. It will happen for you.

    While we are on the subject of fantasy photos…what works and what doesn’t? How do you pick the photographer? I’d love to hear more.

  422. CASB says:

    What about CD’s? Are those tracked just like bank deposits? CD’s earn more money than normal accounts so it could be a better alternative (if you don’t need that money right away.. say you’ve been a SB for quite a number of months or something).

    I’m debating on whether or not I should go finish my shopping tonight. I don’t feel like getting all dolled up and dealing with the mayhem. In my Macy’s madness last night I forgot to get the giftcard I need to send to my sister, so I need to go back there. I also need to go to Costco and Petco to get gifts for my dog’s rescuer (and her pups) who paid for all of her surgery, etc. And probably also to Borders to get a sentimental gift for a good friend whose mother passed 8 months ago. Maybe my presents will have wrapped themselves by the time they get back?? :) I think tonight I will wrap presents and put up the little tree my ex left that he bought me last year and bake some cookies. Hmmm.. I guess I should also stop at the 99 cent store to get a cookie tin for gifting and also the grocery store to get chicken patties. Crap. So much to do! I guess I should get a move on!

    LASD – if you live near me I have MANY MANY MANY cookies if you’d like some. The 99 cent store has Tollhouse cookie dough every once in a while and the first few times I went like a madwoman and bought sooo many. I’ll probably never eat all these cookies in my life! lol Mint choc chip, oatmeal raisin, peanut butter with gooey filling and peanut butter chips, sugar, normal peanut butter, chocolate chip, and ginger!

  423. Boston Honey - 413431 says:

    Thanks for the input. I have debated about a full pic /body shot of me.. However, have you ever met a fat yoga instructor, mountain biker, pole dancer, or downhill skier? I sure haven’t, never, and yoga mmmm flexible….fitness instructor, same thing, aesthetician…gorgeous makeup too… I want to leave my body up to the imagination of the beholder and I want to find a SD who also likes intelligent women and reads my profile. I like to be a tease and take my time…..No insult to those of you out in the sugar world with body shots just not my style. Perhaps I will try it in the future to see the response…who knows…maybe when I have those boudoir shots…. Email me, impress me, and you shall be rewarded….that to me…is sexy, hot….but I beat to a different drum anyway….

    Boston Honey

  424. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I asked coworkers for advice as my sd advised me. Of course they don’t know anything about my finances and the ones I work directly with are still living with their parents. One told me to move in with my boyfriend, an older lady suggested I should by a house, and one suggested moving back with my parents. None of these ideas are possible. I don’t have a boyfriend, bad credit, and I just escaped from my parents at age 39 ( I lived away from them for a few years while I was married).
    I guess I will forget about it for a while and pray that something happens. I had checked into a complex down the street which was about the same price rentwise (well 50 dollars more actually) and was recently renovated but after finding out on the news that a woman was raped and robbed at that complex a week or two ago by someone who kicked in her door, that isn’t an option.

    My ex boss comes up for trial on monday so I will focus my concerns on her for now.

  425. cleo says:

    Midwest/Boston: i was in my thirties and saw pics of my teen self and couldn’t believe how cute/pretty i was. so i suddenly wondered what my 80yo self would think and suddenly?

    i liked myself ten times more.

  426. BH – I still have not gotten the book…*hangs head in shame*…one day I will lol…I think I have acquired enough knowledge here on the blog to be able to contribute to part 2..or 3…maybe even 4 😛

    Boston Honey – 413431 says:
    December 22, 2009 at 6:10 pm

    doing boudoir fantasy photo shoot for myself in Feb so I am on the search for fab shoes, great looking lingerie, and fun pictures. I want to look back in my life when I am 80 or 90 and think, “Ahhh, I wasn’t too bad…and my boobs didn’t sag…yeah I was a hottie….” like the Titanic with Kate Winslet..

    Baaahaaa! Too funny – not long ago I had some done! Figured why not, I was nervous though lol…it ended up being a lot of fun!! Wish at least ONCE before I had my daughter that I did it though…but this is a good second 😛 Your profile is great – as Cleo said a little bit long..but you will start to filter and figure out what is ‘most’ important to you. Also, you might want to consider putting a full length shot of you (I really shouldn’t be speaking lol…since 1. you didn’t ask 2. my full length isn’t toooo clear – but I have heard it a lot on the blog and I do agree it helps). Profiles are definitely a work in progress. Always learning and improving. If you ever want some profile opinions – you can always ask the wonderful bloggers to help you out 😀

    Lisa – glad to hear your family did not disown you 😀 Any ideas about the living situation?

    I will be back soon….

  427. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I feel guilty giving large bills to the cashiers…NOT!

  428. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    As far as allowance is concerned, Cash is always best. :)

  429. Midwest says:

    Boston – “I was a dish, wasn’t I” …Love that line!

    A2S – Cleo is right, if you don’t log in often, you fall towards the bottom of the search. I know a few of the sds have said they won’t venture more than a page or two in. Keep sending those e-mails…it doesn’t always work, but it did with james!

    CA Dreamin – I’ve been out of the banking world for a bit over a year now, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the thresholds have changed. There’s so much fraud that they can never be too sure anymore. I felt guilty depositing large bills a few weeks ago…strang feeling.

  430. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Good evening

    I picked up cherry and pumpkin pies today, along with some chicken for my daughter and mom to eat. They are bringing a turkey over when I get off work tomorrow but since neither eat turkey, I will be stuck with it forever as it will be just my dad and I eating it on friday. Need to pick up the rest of the stuff tomorrow.
    I’m off on thursday so I will take a little trip to the Galleria, do a little shopping, have some lunch and a latte, and then come home and put the turkey in the oven. Hopefully the oven doesn’t catch fire again. lol

    Friday my family will come over for a few hours.

  431. Boston Honey - 413431 says:

    Hey Taz,
    No I haven’t been on the blog but OMG this is addicting and way too much fun. Joined the site recently, read the founders book and all the articles online via google news etc on this “lifestyle” and learning my way quickly. I can be a small town girl and too naive so I need to be strategic and smart about all these new people in my life, etc….. I really like your profile, too bad you weren’t closer or we could go shoe shopping and shop till we drop…. Yeah! LOL. I love shoes.. doing boudoir fantasy photo shoot for myself in Feb so I am on the search for fab shoes, great looking lingerie, and fun pictures. I want to look back in my life when I am 80 or 90 and think, “Ahhh, I wasn’t too bad…and my boobs didn’t sag…yeah I was a hottie….” like the Titanic with Kate Winslet..

    Boston Honey

  432. Midwest – the banks have actually lowered the threshhold where they have to report deposits – it’s either 8 or 9 k now (I think). I can’t remember which – but I know they have lowered it.

  433. Midwest says:

    Boston – I also believe the banks don’t track deposits unless it is 10K or more. They will notice if you get into the habit of depositing $9,998.00. TXSB is right…safety deposit boxes are nice b/c you can have undisclosed cash and it’s a great emergency fund. Down side is it’s not earning any interest.

  434. cleo says:

    always2sweet: log in often… remember the default sort is by when you last logged in in the searches
    midwest/a2s i also love gifts wrapped in newsprint or comic pages…

  435. Hey midwest! My favorites were stuff like dark blue paper with silver wire-rimmed ribbon and a small silver ornament on top. And I’d sew little gift “pouches” out of silk for gift cards, with a little tie on the front…

  436. Boston Honey – Hi! And thanks! Have you been on the blog before? I have been busy the last few days – not much chance to follow too closely – sorry…

    CASB – so grrrreat to see you back on the blog sweetie!!!

  437. cleo says:

    Midwest i held a woman’s hand while she had an abortion once. all due respect but i cannot imagine ever doing that again. that was the one i could bear, that it wasn’t mine is a bonus.

    so yeah, not a chance would i get rid of a baby if i found out i was having one. it’s an easy decision for me, fundamentally i have a family who will help me if i need it and i know i would be a great mom. so i don’t care if the dad doesn’t want it, i can’t bear to get it sucked out of me.

    that said, i would NEVER *try* to get pregnant without telling my partner. i would use all sensible precautions (not the pill, i’m too old) and try to avoid it and since i’ve been successful for nearly 20 years i figure i’ll continue to manage it.

    obviously we both feel strongly about this and just as clearly we’ve both thought about this a lot and made up our minds about how we would handle it. that’s enough isn’t it? i mean all you can do is plan for the worst and hope for the best right?

    [to be clear, i can’t imagine not telling a man if i were pregnant… there’s an old expression “never have sex with anyone who’s kid you wouldn’t have” and it’s right. that said, i can think of one man i have slept with in the past who i absolutely would not have told if i found out. but only one.]
    Boston Honey you have a great profile but i think you might want to do as florida told me once and “edit ruthlessly without losing content”

    it’s awesome but long is all. still, really good one.

  438. always2sweet says:

    midwest I love gifts wrapped in plain brown paper! Reminds me of an era that I wish I could have lived in sans the racism! Its so classy looking

  439. always2sweet says:

    I just logged into my account for the first time in a couple weeks, didnt realize how intimidating that small task would be. I mean I knew from checking my email there was nothing in the, but still it was really weird. I messaged someone too! I know I swore off of messaging SDs, but I think I was just feeling bitter at the time lol….so soon I shall be singing the same ole song or a new diddy about a wonderful SD :)

  440. LASB says:

    Boston Honey – you are allowed 12k per person per year as a tax free gift. After that, the gifter has to pay the gift taxes. I believe the rate is close to 50%, but I’m not a CPA and don’t remember how it all works.

  441. cleo says:

    LASB: so tell him you owe your cc five grand? i don’t know. it’s weird that being responsible gets you in trouble

  442. Midwest says:

    Hi CA Dreamin! I used to love making my gifts fancy…my favorite was plain brown wrapping with raffia and greenery from the tree…gorgeous! Then the 6 y.o. whirlwind came along and I’m lucky to get presents wrapped and a few Christmas cards written (not mailed) :-).

  443. CASB says:

    Very nice TXSB. :)

  444. LASB says:

    Cleo – yeah, this debt free thing seems to be a “flaw” for an SB. What is a woman to do?!! My cash expenses, like gas and food usually don’t amount to 5k. I suppose I could turn it into “disposable income” easily enough, though–spas, choos, handbags. :) Well, the right 5k arrangement has yet to come my way though, so this is all just food for thought/fantasy.

  445. TXSB says:

    LOL…speaking of cash, I was at the Galleria recently and the Bailey, Banks, and Biddle is closing down. I was browsing through the store for fun when I saw a man about to make a purchase. He pulled out a HUUUGE stash of cash (all 100s) to pay for it….lol…as soon as he pulled out the cash, the sales person immediately asked him if he (customer) would like to go to the back to complete the transaction!

  446. Boston Honey - 413431 says:

    Thanks all for the comments everyone. I think the blog is more fun then the emailing back and forth… Oh, my apple pie is out. a la mode…mmmm, so happy to be on Christmas break…

    Taz – nice profile…sexy and intelligent too.

    Beach Girl – fun and cute profile too…

    Oh yeah, any CPA’s out there. Do I have to claim this as income if it isn’t cash? I am going to talk to my potential SD and see where we are at and if we have an “arrangement”? I know that 5k checks the bank tracks after 9/11.

    Anyone doing anything wonderful for New Year’s?

  447. TXSB says:

    Receiving 4-5K/month in cash is very easy to hide. As Cleo stated, you use the cash to make every purchase (from groceries, shopping, furniture etc.). You can easily turn that cash into money orders to pay things like rent or car/insurance payments etc. And besides, you can always have thousands of dollards sitting in cash in a safety deposit box.

  448. Midwest says:

    Cleo – I hear you and believe you do not have anything but honorable intentions, but even IUDs that fail, pills that are countered by antibiotics and condoms that break are not an excuse with emergency methods. If you have the stomach flu and are taking antibiotics with the pill…don’t have sex. If you have an IUD, check it regularly. If you think there is the slightest chance of a mishap, visit your pharmacy. I don’t like the idea of implementing plan B, but it beats bringing an unwanted (even if only by one parent) child into the world. There are too many children in the foster system. Obviously, I feel very strongly about this. Done with my rant. (((hugs)))

  449. Newbie-SD says:

    All – i’m busted – sorry everyone. I do exist and if a certain blog lady will meet me i’ll at least prove I exist to her. Whether she’ll say anything is up to her (if she refuses to meet me that’s cool). I never said I was smart (Flo’s the smart one).

  450. cleo says:

    LASB: it’s easy enough to hide cash, pay your bills with it, hide it under the bed, buy things you need, pay off debts.

    i think it gets hard when you’re debt free and don’t have anything else to really buy. you want to put the money away but where?

  451. LASB says:

    Florida – ok, now I understand the physical harm as it pertains to cash. I understand the IRS issue, but then are you hiding the cash under the mattress? If I were collecting 5k/month, it would be obvious on the books. That’s why I’d rather just get checks, and claim them. I guess I want to run a (seemingly) clean operation here. haha. The IRS doesn’t care how you say you made the money. They just want their fair share of it.

    Newbie — good answer! 😉 Maybe just pay her a finder’s fee for one of those cute friends. At least then, it’s a win – win – win. haha!

  452. Flo Rida says:

    CASB – there is something rotten in the state of denmark. Newbie is a close personal friend of mine & is using my computer – the goofball wrote on top of my blog post. i’m in the process of introducing him to someone on the blog (1 guess who) and he decided to blog (idiot). I can guarantee you he is real (assuming blog lady agrees to meet him) and I can guarantee you I am real (but you’ll never know my identity – sorry too valuable). At the end of the day I have nothing to gain, i’m trying to introduce him to someone whom I think is nice. i’m not gaining anything. Sorry but it is what it is.

    Also i’m trying to introduce 3 female friends (not on this site) to a blog guy and if that blog guy agrees to meet these women he can prove the ladies exist.

    now all of these may crash & burn but i’m just trying to help.

    sorry for pandora’s box.

  453. I LOVE wrapping gifts – the fancier job I can do the better

  454. Muse says:

    CASB – I’ll wrap them! I love wrapping gifts almost as much as I love unwrapping them.

  455. cleo says:

    Midwest i’m a 38 year old sexually active woman who has never been pregnant. trust me that we are in perfect agreement. but I know too many women who have had IUD’s and gotten pregnant, used condoms that broke or believed the pill would work when they had a stomach flu that month.

    so i’m only discussing consequences, not intentions. i certainly have no intention of finding a nice SD and taking fertility pills but it is nonetheless a real possibility and while it’s easy to say ‘you are responsible for making this never happen’ one must also accept responsibility for accidents right?

  456. CASB says:

    Anyone want to wrap presents for me? I bought so much at Macy’s last night it took me 4 heaping trips to carry it in from my car!! I’m trying to will my presents to wrap themselves, but it’s not working. :(

  457. CASB says:

    Hi Midwest! :)

  458. CASB says:

    Newbie.. how strange you assumed I was talking about you. But, yes, frankly, I don’t believe that you are real. Well, you may be, but then Flo Rida isn’t. I noticed how she “accidentally” posted as you and then said “whoops, just posting as if I was in his position”, but you have the exact same writing style, using – before and after names, such as “CASB – TXSB – ” which is most significant when used with two names. No one else here does that. Coincidence? Also the over usage of – within the actual message happens with both of you as well as a few other similiarities between the typing styles and the mention of “give him a mask” in Flo’s post and saying your photo is masked.

    I just don’t get the need or desire to make up SD’s — this point aside, it has happened here before. It just seems silly and counter-productive to those who actually truly are looking for an arrangement here. And just also very deceiving for those of us who try to help people on the blog and also make friends.

  459. Midwest says:

    TLG – Bummer about the ankle! If you need any extra TLC, you know the blog sugars are here for you. We’ll travel to WA to help you out.

    Baby daddy talk – ladies, the sugar world is basically an informal contract…getting pregnant and/or sharing stds is really not an option. I know there is a .01% failure on many methods, but it is YOUR responsibility to do everything within your powers to prevent any “accidents”. I know it sounds harsh, but I can see sds reading this shuddering at the thought of having a child in this scenario – known or unknown. Instead of discussing what if, the better discussion would be making sure it is prevented.

    My $0.02.

  460. cleo says:

    TLG: oh NO! hope you know some good rehab folks…
    NewbieSD: will i get a pic if i email you too?
    i don’t care if my sd is local but there are five million people who are ‘local’ to me… so it’s less of a concern and easy to call it a ‘working dinner’

  461. Midwest says:

    Evening sugars – more great discussions today!

    Taz – I live in a small town and would not be comfortable seeing someone here as an sd. I would for a traditional relationship though…obviously.

    Allowance – Cash is nice. James made it easy.

    Gifts, plus, plus – James actually outlined the allowance, plus, plus…so there was never any quetion. I think the more you specify up front, the better. It doesn’t have to be a difficult conversation and much can be done via e-mail. Certainly birth control, std testing, frequency and intimacy should be a part of the early discussions.

    NYC SB – Have a great time! Maybe you can get the hot sd to agree with the older sd to both be your sd :-) If anyone could, you could.

    Hi Gemi, Flo Rida, LASB, CASB, Newbie SD, NC Gent andall others!

  462. cleo says:

    Boston Honey: yeah we’re on pretty much the same page there… but there is at least one scenario where i can imagine not telling him even if i decided to keep it… it’s not likely i would do that, i strongly believe in telling kids who their parents are (if you know) and if you tell the kid you have to tell the dad.

    but still, there’s a certain kind of man where i might just disappear instead.

  463. TLG – WOW – good luck with the surgery. I hope you recover quickly!

  464. TXSB says:

    Very sorry to hear about your ankle….hope you feel better soon!

    Although I don’t live in a “small town”, my previous SD was local….lol…in fact, he works/lives approx. 10 minutes from where I live! For my next arrangement, I’m open to having a local or a long distance SD.

  465. OMG TLG!! So sorry to hear about your broken appendage :(

  466. Thanks for everyone’s input on small town arrangements…I feel the same way. Now why is it SD’s want someone local?? Lmao…can’t we all just get along?

  467. The Lone Gunman says:

    If you’re going to break your ankle, Western Australia is the place to do it.

    The nurses in Freemantle Hospital are cute, the doctors good folk and they bring you tea in the morning and afternoon.

    I have to go back for another surgery Saturday, so I’m off the Blog–probably until I finally get back Stateside with my new hardware installed.

    Got to keep this thing elevated to reduce the swelling prior to the next procedure.


  468. TXSB says:

    Re: How to receive allowance?
    My previous SD gave me my allowance in cash…in the beginning of each month. I would never say “yes” to a check or any other *form* that could be traced by IRS or anyone else. The only 2 “methods” in which I will accept my allowance is cash or money order.

  469. Newbie-SD says:

    CASB – I exist – i’ll keep profile hidden. I can send a photo masked btw i’m not good looking.

  470. TXSB says:

    Hey! I’ve been here…lol…lurked mostly the past few days…just didn’t get time to post too much. :)

    I agree with the others. *Before* your 3rd date, you need to e-mail him and ask him when he plans on giving you the allowance.

    NYC SB:
    Interesting question. If a SD gave me my 1st month’s allowance in full on the 1st date, the no, that does not mean I will have sex with him that night. In addition, I would also become very suspicious of him…as to why he’s rushing that bad. IMO a true SD wouldn’t do anything like that on the 1st date.

  471. Newbie-SD says:

    Flo – close & passing grade. The answer is i’m lazy & she’s really cute & has cute friends.

    Gem – nice profile – seriously nice profile. Sorry if this is unsolicited.

    LASB – u’re obviously too smart for me (in a good way of course).

  472. Boston Honey says:

    I grew up in a small town and there is no way I would ever go for it.. However, a few towns over i.e. at least 45 minutes to an hour away. Maybe. People know everyone and people talk so you need to be prepared for the gossip. I was approached at 22 when I was a garden designer in my hometown and was like, “Ewww, gross…” and again at 23 where I taught yoga next to my town and thought, “Ewww gross…” Now, a few years later, very intriguing, it’s all in the mind and needs to be approached in a delicate manner. At those times in my life I wasn’t looking for that, nor expecting to be approached.

  473. CASB says:

    Am I the only person on here that thinks that some SB’s make up some of these one-hit-wonder SD’s? Something smells fishy…

  474. Flo Rida says:

    Taz – dating or sugar dating someone in a small town – no way I would do that – way too much risk of being caught AND embarrassed.

    Gemi – does that mean you will hide your SD – give him a mask – meet in discreet out of the way diners? Give him sunglasses!

  475. Boston Honey says:

    Ohhh, baking cookies, making an apple pie and just ordered my sexy New Year’s Party outfit…go go dancer. Hot pink and silver. whooo hooo…

  476. Flo Rida says:

    Sorry I answered assuming I was n his position. does it make sense though? Passing or failing grade?

  477. Flo Rida says:

    Gemini – LASB – my college professor said ‘why rationalize the irrational’. I didn’t say it was smart. Maybe she genuinely likes me & doesn’t need money (ok nice fantasy). Maybe as friends we’ll fight less. Btw this only makes sense if she consents to it.

    Finally, being hang out friends means I retain option value that something could happen again. Also if we did break up then i’d need to find another SB or date IRL and i’m busy & lazy & i’m comfortable with her. See good effort at explaining right(?). Do I get a passing grade?

  478. Boston Honey says:

    Flo Rida oh yeah good idea cashiers check, simplicity for everyone. I have a lot of things I am good at too so I could easily be on payroll yet I haven’t seen many people offering that yet. I.E. HR Consultant, ERP Consulting, Web Design, Personal Training, Massage Therapist, Event Planner….LOL…so one could pick a skill…..

  479. CA Dreamin SB says:

    WOW – I missed so much today!

  480. Flo Rida says:

    LASB – sorry I was driving earlier. carrying $x,000 cash gives rise to physical safety concerns. being on company payroll exposes SD to a claim by IRS that payments are not deductible. in terms of wire transfers all SD needs is a routing # and account #. I personally don’t know why people like setting up separate accounts as it’s perfectly safe to give these out. i’m on company payroll BUT I do provide deductible services (i have a range of skills). finally many people overlook a cashiers check – which in SB’s hands is as good as cash.

  481. Boston Honey says:

    LASB – One word….IRS. IRS audit, curious employees, and a clear paper trail that if investigated wouldn’t be fun. Probably not the best idea. I think having an account that a SD deposits too sounds great, cash is always wonderful, and/or help with those pesky student loans….

  482. LASB says:

    Thanks Florida. So I’m guessing if you do the wire, you set up a separate account only used for that? Also, how does being on the payroll add to the risk of physical safety? Aren’t we always at risk regardless? Just wondering.

  483. LASB says:

    Taz – I don’t live in a small town, but if I did, I wouldn’t want to sugar date anyone from there. I live in a pretty big building, and I won’t date anyone who lives here. It goes back to the saying, “Don’t s* where you eat.”

  484. Flo Rida says:

    cash, cashiers check, completed wire trf using routing # & account number, cleared check deposit to your account from a branch are all golden.

    paypal too expensive. u can get SD to pay off loans directly.
    barter transactions are not appreciated by 1 party.
    company payroll works but you pay taxes & SD claims tax deduction BEAR in mind some of these create paper trail, tax consequences to SD, physical safety concerns & blackmail risk.

  485. LASB says:

    Newbie SD – Like Gem, I wonder why you’d want to hang out with the SB and turn her into a friend, if she’s already causing too much conflict with you. Also, if she called you “negative and toxic” then why would she want to, especially if there’s no allowance?
    On the other hand, I turned a pot down because I wasn’t attracted to him, but we decided to be friends sans allowance/sex. He is a nice guy, and I’m a friendly person who has plenty of room for friends from all walks of life. So maybe your thought is that you can get along with this person if you aren’t having sex with her. (?) Care to explain?

  486. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    Taz- No way no how would I sugar date anyone from my town….waaay too close for comfort! I’m even hesitant to date people within an hour of my town in my state…still too close for comfort! I’d be far more comfortable having a SD from a different state than I’m in…. way way more privacy and discretion. I like it with my life here, his life there, and our fun times together…but no possible mixing of our RLs at all!!

  487. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    I haven’t gotten that far with a pot SD yet (allowance wise) but I think I’d be most comfortable with the amount in cash to begin (and then a new bank acct for that moolah) and then monthly deposits into that acct. Hopefully one day I’ll make it to that stage, but for now its just wishing waiting and having a plan of action O:)

    NYC SB- Have fun at your date! 😀

    NewbieSD – Haven’t followed on all of your SB drama, but I did notice that you said you’d hang out with her sans allowance… thats nice and all, but that would make her your friend (or a bootycall)…not a SB. I personally wouldn’t be able to go from being a guy’s SB, to just his friend, while he waited to see if he wanted me to be his SB again… that is a yucky situation if I’ve ever heard one. A SB should be sans drama, and if you all are arguing now, I don’t see how a “break” would help things. I’d suggest breaking it off nice and cleanly….pave the way to finding yourself a new SB for the near year!

  488. Question (for anyone who will answer):

    If you lived in a smaller town – how would you feel about having a SD/SB from the same place?..of course under the pretense that it is discrete (you may travel together instead..)..

    But would it be too close for comfort for you? AM I know you had some qualms about this as well…

  489. Have fun NYC SB!! Maybe you will find your Christmas SD 😀

  490. NYC SB says:

    Sugar fam

    Off to meet my young and super cute pot… this is our third date 😀

    On allowance… cash is best

  491. LASB says:

    CASB – Personally, I would prefer cash, but a check is ok, just make sure report it if you are getting more than 12k/year from an SD. One SD said that he just puts his SB on the company payroll to make things easier. He also takes into consideration that their agreed allowance is their after tax amount. Can anyone else comment on how you’ve resolved this?

  492. CASB says:

    Hello all!

    So I’m curious.. how do you get your allowance? Check? Or some other way? I thought I saw a previous blog about sometimes getting fake/bounced/cancelled checks. Has that ever happened to you? If you do get it by check do you give it a week to “clear” to make sure it’s legit first?

    And thanks for the earlier comfort food talk, now I want chili cheese fries!! This place back where I’m from called The Hot Dog Shoppe has the BEST chili cheese fries ever!! I only get them once every year or two now when I go home. So sad! :(

    NC Gent – I have a snuggie you can borrow! It’s a PSU snuggie, I was saving it for SDN. 😉

  493. Boston Honey says:

    Oh this is interesting Cleo. I was thinking about this today but didn’t think this was a good place to post. I mean things happen and hopefully everyone is using bc, and protection, always being safe. However, I thought oh my what would I do if this happened to me? I really don’t have an answer and I am definitely not one of those women who would ever lie to someone and get pregnant. I know people who have done it and it has not ended well. Not cool. Yet, if it happened I would let my SD know because it says a lot about you morally if you are honest to people. Wouldn’t you want to know? I would if I was a SD. I might think, “Oh $%$ but I would want to know…” I would let him decide on how he wanted to be involved too. I would take NSA and discreet all the way if he had a family because I have opened pandora’s box. It takes two to tango. I wouldn’t sue them as what is the point? I would raise them well in fresh air, fresh veggies, lots of animals, home-made root-beer, saunas, real home-made maple syrup, tree houses and forts galore, and introduce them to as many new experiences as possible… Ok, the country kitty comes out of me…lol.. New to this whole Boston thing….LOL..

  494. cleo says:

    james.m: funny, with pregnancy. i know a lot of women who got caught that way and others who wish for a baby

    i think for myself if my sd were single and i got pregnant (because accidents happen after all) i’d tell him and let him decide how involved he wanted to be. if he were married and had kids already? i might just disappear in a couple of months.

    that decision would be based (OF COURSE) on his personality and on whether i believed he wanted to know… and trust me, i think i could find out without giving it away.

    but to *ME* if you get pregnant and decide to keep it and the other party isn’t interested? especially here in the sugar bowl? you have no right to sue them for support… then again, with support comes daddy rights. choose carefully.

  495. james.m says:

    re: ESB’s comment on test drives for SDs: That’s what those photos the men keep sending you are all about! They want you to be comfortable that THEY can perform. **snicker**

    Seriously, though, I don’t think it is mentioned enough: disease testing should be part of any arrangement for both sides, and SDs need some way of knowing that his SB is doing something about birth control, if he is leaving it up to her. He wouldn’t want to get caught by THAT old trick.

  496. BG – Santa said he is working on you too!! 😛

    Woooohoooo 2Chic! GO GIRL!

    I am still baking lol..making supper now…hope someone is left on later tonight!!

  497. james.m: you got mail! 😉

    I’m back off, gotta go get ONE last christmas gift, wrap and mail tomorrow… nothing like LAST minute!! Be back soon, MISS ME!! 😉

  498. I missed how the public speaking thing came up. I AM very shy, but it’s one of those things that once you do it a few times, it gets easier and easier. I used to sing in front of my church of 500+. Haven’t done that in 8 years, so I couldn’t do it now, but when I was doing it, I walked up , grabbed that mike like I owned the place, and didn’t break a sweat til I was done. The first few times my knees where shaking so hard, I could barely stand. Just get into the mind set that what you have to say is what they want to hear, and they will love you for.

  499. NC GENT: Speedo.. OMG. Please tell me you are kidding!! LMAO!!

    James says: Why does a guy need a test drive? If he doesn’t like her in bed, he can terminate the arrangement. If anything, I think SHE’d be more concerned with knowing more about him sexually!

    Now THAT is the trueth. What if he didn’t perform as well as expected? or he was OVERLY experienced?? (i.e. deseases??) Thing that would be nice to know upfront!!

  500. Newbie-SD says:

    Boston – 2 b clear I meant I prob wouldn’t give 1.5months allowance in advance – I have no probs w a lower amount in advance

  501. mimi says:

    Newbie-SD – public speaking or making speeches in general just isn’t my thing (which is why I’m probably going to be stuck in a lab for the rest of my life). so ya, maybe writing what I want to say will work out a lot better.

    Boston Honey – I definitely agree with the other ladies. You should make sure that he is aware that you think you’re entering into an arrangement.

  502. DesertBunny says:

    Boston Honey – I agree with NYC. I would gently confirm with him that you two are in fact entering into an arrangement, and if so, when should you expect your check. Also, make sure that it is clear how/when you will receive future checks. Be tactful, but clear. SD’s know the deal.

  503. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    2Chic: Good for you! That’s how it should be… getting lost in good conversation on a date, no clock-watching or uncomfortable silences. Sounds like it could be the start of something really great!

  504. NYC SB says:

    Boston Honey,

    I would email him and ask him when you could expect your allowance. This type of situation should be addressed prior to accepting an arrangement. Also, maybe he does not think you two are in an arrangement?

  505. DesertBunny says:

    NC Gent – Leopard snuggie worn over leopard speedo… where do you live? Because I am there! hehe!

  506. 2Chic says:

    Hi Sugas,

    My meeting with my POT was awesome, we met at a lovely restaurant in the afternoon, we talked the entire day away. We did not leave the restaurant until the sun was going down, we were oblivious to everything around us….. lol. We vibed really well. It was soooo fun.

  507. Hi Taz~ can you ask Santa to bring me a SD too??? 😀

    NewbieSD~ many fear public speaking because the are in their heads and think the people they are speaking too are thinking they suck … that is what i was told by friends that have the biggest fear of speaking in public

    TXSB~ haven’t seen you in forever :( not fair… hopefully will get to talk soon
    Have a good evening!

  508. Boston Honey says:

    Hello all,
    New to the Sugar World. I am curious as to how many of you SB’s have open and reasonable or a set amount for an allowance? I understand that open and reasonable will attract more attention and I have to weed people out, etc… However, how much is too much to ask then you risk the chance of potentially meeting someone great who might very well indeed offer a great allowance. SD’s what are you looking for? Are you intrigued at all to pursue someone who asks for more as you think she is classier or do you think she thinks too highly of herself? SB’s what has been your experience?

    Finally, I met one potential SD and we talked about an arrangement and amount. He said he would do a check. We have seen each other two more times and no check, no mention of anything. I don’t want to be the “Gold Digger” but should I just tell him that no check, no more SB for you… or what? How do you delicately handle this situation?

    I also saw that a few SD’s give an allowance up front then said that they wouldn’t do it again…OMG this is all very new….

  509. Hi everyone!! How is the sugar fam today?

    I am almost ready for Christmas…still no SD for Christmas :( (I think Santa is bringing him for me 😉 )

  510. james.m says:

    Newbie-SD Not at all. It was a simple statement. I’m grumpy, and I didn’t want anyone offended by my remarks. Sorry. And welcome!

  511. Newbie-SD says:

    mimi – understood many americans fear public speaking in general. all I can say is write down the speech verbatim, including objections from mr. rejected (but I thought we had chemistry, oh you you have no class, will you give me another try blah), mentally get into role and then rehearse it (with a real life person). Bear in mind I shouldn’t be talking – giving advice – with my drama born again virgin SB.

    NYC SB – i’m assuming both parties should be comfortable before agreeing to a test drive or arrangement. Btw I have no problem with a test drive as long as everyone’s happy.

    James – was grumpy directed at me? Wasn’t clear.

  512. mimi says:

    Thanks for the advice TXSB and newbie-SD ^^

    The problem so far for me has been that I don’t want to have to pick and choose(though I am very picky when it comes to other things in life) if I’m communicating with a lot of pot SDs at once. I’m really bad when it comes to that “rejection speech” especially if I think the guy’s a nice person. I always end up feeling guilty (hence why I tend to avoid the whole thing).

    I usually speak to a pot SD for a couple of days (I tend to hate email tag so I don’t do the weeks/months of online talk that deals to nowhere) and if I don’t think he’s a fake we usually meet and see if we do have some chemistry.

  513. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    NYC SB: Agreed. I am the same way. I MUST actually like an SD. I’m the type that’s super attracted to a man’s intellect though, so that has always played a big role for me. If we have nothing to talk about or debate or teach each other, can’t do it.

  514. NYC SB says:

    You know guys there is something to be said about test drives that we seem to over look.

    So an SD gives you the month allowance the night he meets you… are you really comfortable jumping in bed with him so soon?

    Im not sure I am… even if the chemistry and mutual attraction is there and all signs point to yes I would at least like to see him one more time before geting naked… but thats just me. At the end of the day this is not just about the money… my rule of thumb is if I wont sleep with him sans allowance then I probably shouldnt be pursuing the arrangement…

  515. TXSB says:

    Firstly, you don’t sound like an idiot…lol.

    As for test drives…I’m one of those who require a 1st month’s allowance before I’ll get intimate (in any way) with a SD. Once I receive my 1st month’s allowance…and once the SD & I have sex, of course there’s always that possibility that he won’t want to see me again. And I’m ok with that. With me already getting the allowance, at least I know I wasn’t taken in by a “fake”. There’s been too many cases where the SB has sex and then the “SD” just dissappears. I also find that many “SDs” dissappear when I tell them that I won’t have sex without receiving an allowance….which makes me doubt their intentions in the 1st place. After all….for a true SD (ie: a man who’s truly financially secure), dropping a few thousand dollars really isn’t a big financial loss (that’s been my experience with my previous SD and also from reading some of the stories on the blog).

    Re: the allowance/gift choice
    My previous SD didn’t give me a “choice”. He gave me a very generous allowance offer. And on top I still got extras (although I never asked for or expected them). But *IF* a pot SD gave me the choice that you gave your SB, I would also choose a higher cash allowance over “gifts”. As much as I love the idea of shopping and other gifts….when given a choice, my “practical” side always wins.

    BTW NewbieSD, glad to see you back on the blog…..hopefully you’ll stick around for a bit. :)

    OK….I’m off to gym to get my butt kicked by trainer…..see ya’ll later. :)

  516. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    Interesting discussion about ‘test drives’ today.

    James: I totally agree. If there has been mutually engaging and interesting correspondence and a comfortable date or two where an attraction and agreement can be established, I don’t see any point in expecting a ‘test drive’ from an SB. Either you want to proceed or you don’t, in which case you move on.

  517. james.m says:

    TXSB – Thank you! I think you have it right!

  518. TXSB says:

    Hi and welcome to all the new bloggers! :)

    Personally I like to meet pot SDs IRL asap. LOL. So far all my pots have been local but I’m not opposed to having a long distance SD. The “1st dates” have always been within a week…in one case, I met the pot SD IRL literally the next day! I’m not interested in exchanging e-mails or “talking” to someone for weeks or months…I want to get things moving asap. If I talk to a pot SD for 2-3 weeks, and then meet IRL and there’s no chemistry, that means I wasted all that time when I could’ve spent it on other pots.

    All my 1st dates are in a public place…usually restaurants or coffee places. Personally, for me it’s not a “big deal” to spend a few hours with a man having dinner (that he’s paying for) or even share a drink. If I like his picture and him and I agree on the “type” of arrangement we’re looking for, then I always say “yes” to a 1st date.

  519. Anna Molly says:

    I’m off to finish my Christmas shopping….ugh!

    I’ll see everyone later :)

  520. james.m says:

    An arrangement has several parts. One is the allowance. One is sex. There are others, like frequency, discretion, safe sex, disease testing, where to meet and what you each like to do. One (often unspoken, unfortunately), is that either party may terminate the arrangement at any time for any reason.

    Why does a guy need a test drive? If he doesn’t like her in bed, he can terminate the arrangement. If anything, I think SHE’d be more concerned with knowing more about him sexually!

    Similarly, if you have a good time on one or two dates, why would either of you demand 6 weeks of courtship before negotiating an arrangement. In your talks or emails, it is painfully obvious whether she understands her role as an SB, and whether he understands his as an SD.

    Sorry, I’m grumpy today. But sometimes I think we think too much, and miss lots of wonderful opportunities. Perhaps I should have worn my Christmas Grinch boxers…

  521. see you , I guess later…. I hate typos… sorry

  522. Hi everyone!

    Nice to see you here again Newbie-SD!

    I agree with NewbieSD meet more men then see which one fits… sometimes by mail or phone it’s never the same.

    Ok back to work… see you guess later!

  523. james.m says:

    ESB – you have mail

  524. Newbie-SD says:

    Mimi – I (respectfully) disagree – I think you should meet more people then cut out those you donlt like. You run a high risk of not meeting a great guy. Clearly meet in a public safe place. The only downside of meeting more people is if you find ‘rejection conversations ‘ difficult OR you find deciding – negotiation difficult OR you don’t have a lot of time. TXSB (i think) said it’s hard finding the right SD and you’ve just made it harder by eliminating a lot of them. At the end of the day your decision though.

  525. NC Gent says:

    Newbie-SD — the test drive as it is used here means intimacy prior to providing any allowance at all… a bozo no-no IMHO.

  526. always2sweet says:

    hahaha NC you gotta learn how to shop. Its good for you!

  527. NC Gent says:

    Welcome to the blog Sweetpea and Mimi.

    A2S — it actually takes a lot to get me to go clothes shopping, even if it is for myself. I buy almost all my clothes on line. However, if we are talking about shopping for tools or fishing equipment, I can browse almost all day!

  528. Newbie-SD says:

    Anna Molly – others – thanks for the warm welcome.

    When everyone talks about test drives – isn’t the reality that an arrangement is a 1 month test drive, also i’m guessing that for the right man many SB’s would accept a half month allowance ‘as a sign of good faith’. Finally some SBs would accept a $3k test drive (in a low cost market) or a $5k test drive in NY. i’m assuming the objection is to a ‘one and done’ approach.

    Also has a SD or a SB had a one time arrangement which lead to a longer arrangement – OR how did the ‘break up’ go – bad – ok? i’d imagine it wouldn’t be a good conversation.

    BTW my only SB (to date) I gave 1.5 months allowance in advance before intimacy (yes i’m foolhardy) but I suspect I won’t do that again. Once burned. BBTW I actually like my SB (sans drama).

    TX-SB – I asked my SB if she preferred a higher allowance and no gifts or a slightly lower allowance plus gifts. She opted for former (but I still get her small gifts of $100 a month plus fine dining plus spa treatments (i’m beginning to sound like an idiot). i’ll shut up

  529. mimi says:

    I totally agree with you on that sweetpea. There are a lot of men out there seeking to take advantage of inexperienced SBs (I learned that the hard way). Which is why it takes me a long time to decide whether or not I should meet irl with a pot SD. If I don’t like how they sound either on the phone or through their emails, I don’t even consider meeting in person as an option.

    ps:I’m a newbie on this site and couldn’t resist participating in this discussion.

  530. Sweetpea says:

    I am very upfront with The potential SD what i want In the initial message. I Think this is a good way to screen SD. yes, i am doing it for money, but of course i prepare to provide friendship,love n Care to my provider. I would only expect money if The arrangement is agreed after date or dates. To me, two weeks to finalise a potential is Good enough timing. i learnt from experience, my initial arrangement is 3 months to 6 months, with mutual respect and trust. Some not serious SD would Ask how does he know if we are compatible In sex n friendship? I told him, after The initial contact n dates, he has to use his own judgement n guts to decide what hé wants.  Some of them are thinking of test drive, I told them I don’t do one time encounter. To me a mature SD will know what he wants n decides.  Some are dating out of curious n they are not prepare to pay as per montly type of arrangement, they are looking for the thrill only or just taking advantage of inexperince  SB. I think this post is a good guideline for us in here. 

  531. always2sweet says:

    hey now NC dont tease a girl with shopping lol especially if Im getting to style someone else! I’d give you a WHOLE new look…and you would LOVE it! Promise! 😉

  532. NC Gent says:

    Ok — you can take me shopping A2S, so I can see if I can look good in pink :)

    James — leopard skin would be great — will match my speedo swimming suit perfectly 😉

  533. always2sweet says:

    this whole pink thing makes me wish I could take you out and pick out clothes for you NC lol. I love seeing a man get well dressed, and I just thought of you in a nice light pink button up with a casual jacket, some dark wash jeans and a pair of ridiculously sexy shoes! I know its no snuggie hahaha but I think it would look great! :)

  534. james.m says:

    NC Gent – Snuggies also coming in leaopard prints…

  535. spoiledbyeveryone says:

    I am not very experienced in dating I’ve been in 2 relation ships I’ve been w some one since I was 17 but as long as u see someone u enjoy their company then its easy the 2 men in my life gave me any and everything I just believe a women vis to be taken care of let it be known then it will flow fine

  536. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Be back soon everyone! Off to run errands with my sister!

  537. Anna Molly says:

    NC ~ I think you would look hot in pink 😉

  538. TXSB says:

    EasternSure & CA Dreamin:
    Thanks! I’ll definately need all the luck I can get…

    NC Gent:
    PBI but I think we need to decide that for ourselves (re: pink not being flattering on you)!

  539. always2sweet says:

    I agree with cleo, a real man can wear whatever the hell he wants! :)

  540. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Cleo – I completely agree with the ‘real men rock pink’ statement :)

  541. cleo says:

    my dad wore a pink shirt to my sister’s wedding (with a suit) and he was the hottest thing ever – so real men rock pink

  542. CA Dreamin SB says:

    TXSB – Good luck!!! :)

    NC Gent – I think you’d look quite the manly man in a pink snuggie!

  543. NC Gent says:

    OK Muse — I hope they manly snuggies :) Pink just isn’t that flattering on me!

  544. TXSB says:

    LASB says:
    SBs, do you ever get the sense that your potential SD isn’t into showering with gifts/attention/assistance, but is just going to bite the bullet of an allowance so that he can get an attractive NSA woman without much effort? If yes, is that ok with you so long as you like the guy?

    I’ve never dated anyone IRL who showered me with gifts..lol. With an SD, although I greatly appreciate gifts…it’s not something I “expect”. The only thing I expect is my allowance. The way I see it is that I would not agree to an arrangement if I wasn’t attracted to an SD physically/mentally. That combined with a allowance (+travel expenses if any) are all I want from a SD.

    Although gifts/other extras are greatly appreciated, I feel it’s unfair for me to expect them. Expecting gifts/pampering etc wouldn’t make me any different from a IRL GF who expects her BF to be romantic and stuff. As a SB, my role is to make the SD’s life easier and drama free. IMO the last thing an SD would want is for his SB to be upset (or whatever) b/c he’s not romantic enough….that’s the kind of stuff wives/gf’s do.

    Besides, at the end of the day…it’s already so difficult to find a man who I’m attracted to, who is attracted to me, and who’s willing to pay a steady allowance. Adding the criteria of someone who’ll give gifts/pamper me just makes it even more difficult to find a SD.

  545. james: That is what I was thinking. Some of these guys just don’t get it. I am a decent person, live slightly above middle class, or WAS til my life fell apart. I am NOT a pro, not here for “pay per service”, I’m just someone who is down on her luck and trying to get out of this hole I’m in and hopefuly start over again. If I’m lucky, I’ll find a guy who will want more than an arrangement someday, but for now, I need some cash. I sometimes feel bad about myself for doing this, but when I see my daughter missing out on what she used to have, I figure I can do this and hope it turns out right! Be careful, be smart, and find the right guy for me… life will get better….

    TXSB: Good luck sweety!! Got my fingers crossed for you too!!

    OK, I’m out. gotta go get my baby. Catch up (?) again later!! HUGS!!

  546. TXSB says:

    Yes….the NYGent’s “shoe thing” certainly left a very…memorable….image in my mind. :)

    Happy to hear about the change in your attitude…..I hope the good feelings continue! :)

    NYC SB:
    Congrats! And I 2nd Gemini in hoping that a 2nd date is right around the corner. :)

    EasternSureBaby Says:
    sex just gets better and better the longer you are together. You learn what each other likes, get more comfortable with each other, things progress.. it gets better!!

    Huge 2nd on the above!

  547. TXSB says:

    Good Morning Everyone! :)

    So finally made some changes to my profile and got it approved….and have officially started my search again. *fingers crossed* Going to catch up on the blog…

  548. james.m says:

    ESB: Watch out. It sounds like a “test drive” to me

  549. Well, their mom kinda left them to their grandma (his mom) to raise cause she had a new hubby and baby to take care of. I saw them more than she did for 3 years, then they started to “go bad” and I didn’t want that influence on my girls and discouraged the friend ships. They have kinda stayed in touch, and the oldest would call me from time to time for a ride, or to talk, or “can I borrow $5 for lunch”. I’d buy her food, never gave her $$.

    Enough of this, anyone got any new Pot’s in the works?? I got one who wants to “meet for a night and see how we like each other” Really? He’s so smoking hot… not sure what to think!!

  550. Flo Rida says:

    Anna Molly – eine private party fur ihrer blog freunde ist prima. Glucklich, prima! Frohliche weinhnachten und eine gutes prima neuer jahre.

  551. always2sweet says:

    ESB thats terrible for those girls! I can only imagine the things that they have witnessed. Its not fair to kids…they dont have a choice. My step dad was a heroine addict and in and out of prison, and while my mom “sheltered” me from most of it, I still saw and heard a LOT. Those poor girls. Hopefully they wont let this break them. I will pray for them!

  552. LMAO… no, I’ll behave.. just wanted to know if I should bring my credit card or not!! lol

  553. Muse says:

    ESB – You’re invited and responsible for the brownies. And for the record, I was planning on having a girly slumber party with junk food, movies etc. If you want to bring naughty toys, that’s fine too.

    NC Gent – I’m sorry. The dress code is “snuggies”

  554. guess that is where the name came from? aww… you really are 2 sweet! 😉

  555. a2a: The guy is (was) a waste. When my friend divorced him 10 years ago, he went from bad to worse. He did some time in jail, wrote me a VERY provocative letter, (which my husband had no sence of humor for) got out, went further down hill…. his girls (19 and 15) are not handling it to well. I’m only going bc my 14 YO wants to be there for her friend. The 19 YO wrote on her wall in facebook that she did drugs with her dad!! Oh my… I’m OK, I’m just sad for his girls. I hope this helps them to see that life can be so much getter than what he had to offer them… Thanks for the offer, though. That is so sweet of you!! XO

  556. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Morning all – ladies – I am definitely up for the slumber party!

  557. Uhmm.. are we talking about “Slumber Party” (ie toys) or slumber party, up all night gossiping and eating things we know we shouldn’t? Im in either way!! 😉

  558. always2sweet says:

    ESB ~ if you need someone to talk to I am here hon. I’ve seen more than my fair share of OD deaths, and just death in general. You have support hon. How is your daughters friend doing?

  559. NC Gent says:

    Slumber party??? perks up – but what if I sleep in my boxers?!!!

  560. james.m says:

    AM – just tell us when the restaurant opens. We’ll have a NATIONAL meet for the pre-opening party. And then, there will be so much buzz about the place you’ll have them lined up in the street.

    Chili cheese fries, mac and cheese and beer, and a Snuggie!

  561. Good Morning EVeryone!! So many interesting posts this morning!!

    I’m here trying to cheer up. Got a funeral to go to in a bit. 47 YO man I used to know… his daughters are friends with my daughters. Drug over doos..does…douse?? help? LOL He ODd!! LOL

    cleo says: Newbie: a few days if they’re sick or whatever fine but if it’s the first six months and the sex is already dying?

    cut your losses

    I agree… Personally, sex just gets better and better the longer you are together. You learn what each other likes, get more comfortable with each other, things progress.. it gets better!! If is’t not, something is wrong, sugar. Move on!! HER loss!!! Don’t let her put the blame on you, shake it off.

    Slumber Party? Where, when? Im inviting my self!! I’ll bring Ammeretto and sour mix… and my famous brownies of course!!

  562. NYC SB says:

    thanks all for the well wishes… again im not getting my hopes up… the man from last night was a bit older… i also have two other pots who are in their 20’s (late albeit) … tonight im meeting up with mr cocktail class… this will be date 3 … and tomorrow im finally meeting with cali pot… so exciting things happening as the end of 2009 approaches…

    also my sb blog is up and running… i still need to do a lot of writing but it is coming along nicely… once its up to par i will share the link with you all… would love the input

  563. Anna Molly says:

    Flo Rida ~ Eine private Party wird für alle meine Freunde Blog vor der grand Opening gehostet werden. Wir Schlemmen und Mint Juleps trinken. Guten Morgen Ihnen!

  564. Muse says:

    Hey AM! I’m good. Just sorting out the move details. I think it’ll be mid-next week, and then I get to start furnishing it (I have no living room and very little kitchen stuff anymore.) Slumber party will be before the end of Jan, I hope. :)

    A2S, you’re welcome to come too but it’s in NYC.

  565. always2sweet says:

    Hey AM! ooooh a lumber party!

  566. Flo Rida says:

    Anna Molly – liebchen, ich bin sehr gut mit nahrung, wein und gaststatten. ich mochte gern an ihrer neue gaststatte essen. Mogern!

    Gemi – hmmmm too fast, tell me it isn’t so. SDs just want the delight of meeting your charming self! If you really want to throw them through a loop then go fast and then slow down & it’ll throw them in a loop.

    NYC SB – still haven’t forgot the photo, good luck with the G-men (plural) and also your man (singular).

  567. Anna Molly says:

    Better question, when is the slumber party? 😉

  568. Anna Molly says:

    Muse!! How are you love? :)

    When are you moving?

  569. Anna Molly says:

    Hello A2S :)

    Newbie-SD ~ Glad to see you came back to the blog :)

  570. Muse says:

    Newbie SD – I don’t post much but I had to come out of catching-up-on-the-blog-status for this. Admittedly your posts are one-sided, but if she actually said that to you, she isn’t worth your time or energy, nevermind the allowance. There are a lot of really amazing SBs on this site (mostly on the blog, methinks) and you should definitely let that one go and search for a new one. I’m not saying it will be easy but when you find someone who appreciates you and all you do for her, it will be worth it and I’m sure you will.

    NYGent – Mmmm…choos and champagne. I need to add that to my bucket list.

    Lisa- I’m sure you’ll find a way to make things work for you.

    CASB – Thanks for that site. I’m going to check it out right now.

    Hi everyone else.

  571. NC Gent says:

    Congrats on your date NYC SB. Also, I bet you look great with the shorter hair — women of Wall Street be on notice — NYC SB is out with a hot new professional look!

  572. always2sweet says:

    morning Sugies! Looks like I missed some good banter last night :)

  573. Newbie-SD says:

    NYC SB – You are right she’s still in college (but I disclosed a 20 year age gap and I also disclosed i’m in my 40s). i’m actually a bit of a softie and don’t mind ‘hanging out with her without an allowance’ and re-starting but if we continue fighting then clearly i’m out. Good luck with your man.

  574. Anna Molly says:

    Chili cheese fries, mac and cheese and beer….I can handle that :)

  575. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    NYC SB – congrats on a date gone well! Sometimes the best thing is to move from the fancy date to the laid-back date…. if the timing is right everything flows perfectly! :) Sounds like it worked out well for you, I hope a second date is right around the corner!

    Anna Molly – Count me in as a definite at your meet-up at your in-the-works-to-be-opened-restaurant, when-you-find-big-daddy-SD! 😀

  576. NYC SB says:

    AM – sounds awesome… i need chilli cheese fries and mac and cheese and a glass of beer… perfect!

  577. Anna Molly says:

    Gemini ~ Hmmmm indeed 😉

  578. Anna Molly says:

    NYC SB ~ Good luck with the pot…I meant to say that yesterday :)
    Glad to hear your date went well!

    I’m all about the comfort food…lol. That’s the kind of food I’m going to serve at my restaurant. :)

    When I open we will have to have a meet up…. :)

    Of course I need a SD to help me out first..lol

  579. NYC SB says:

    Morning all!

    Newbie SD – you have stress at work… it is her “job” to make it go away while you two are together NOT to add onto it… clearly she has never been in a high stress work situation… my guess is she is still in college or just getting out of it… really you need to move on and find someone who TRULY understands what an SD SB relationship is … sorry if I was harsh… just my personality

    Guys – it is so sweet to see all of you offering your advice to Lisa… having known her from the blog for a while it is very clear that she is not looking for advice or solutions… she just likes to vent… so don’t take it personally when your advice is shot down… like I said im sure in due time she will figure out what she needs to do… she always does

    NY Gent – you are too funny… “choos” haha … I have some fuggs on right now … that is uggs but they are soooo ugly I call them fugs (now you learned some new slang that the cool kids use) … the next sb will appreciate the shopping for sure 😀

    And “there are many good looking younger guys on the SA site who are single…” – Im sorry but I disagree :p while they may have women fighting over them they soon realize that they need a bit of brains and personality to go with the rock hard body… so yes for quality woman even a young guy who doesn’t have much time due to his success is willing to offer an allowance so he doesn’t have to deal with the nuances of a relationship

    Curious SD – I think that most SBs will not be intimate until they enter an arrangement… once they receive some allowance it is normal that sex takes place… now this usually happens within the first 2 weeks… if it is going to happen … again it all goes back to mutual chemistry and emotions… I second what TXSB said regarding IRL relationships

    So my pot meeting last night… the restaurant we met at was soooo crowded that we ended going to a nearby sports bar… had comfort food and watched the giants game… it was fun… I will see him again before the new years… he seems to have the right idea as to how this works… I am a bit hesitant though because he just rejoined the site so he might be taking his time to feel out potentials… we will see

  580. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    Anna Molly – Hmmmm…..

  581. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Gemini ~ Yes, NYGent is the wild child of the blog :)

  582. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    Morning sugars! A quickie before I run off to work!

    I think my timelime seems to run in the Day 1: Initial message , then Day 2: Talks about what we want out of an arrangement (or what I like to call, vague beating around the bush), and then Day 3: Pressing me to call them ASAP and by Day 4 they are insiting on a date right away, and I’m still trying to get a feel for their personality or if we even have a mutual interest. Some of these guys go WAY too quickly for me, its like they want an instant sugar babe…and anyone will do.

    And what is this talk of NYGent drinking out of a choo?

  583. Lisa's SD in NYC says:

    Molly – are you a light smoker?

  584. Anna Molly says:

    LOL…a pack of cigs :)

  585. Lisa's SD in NYC says:

    Is her profile still up on SA? LOL! Conjugal visits and a pack of cigs a month allowance.

  586. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Sd, I don’t think she has her cell phone with here, lol She might be moving into a new place soon though, she has a date on monday the 28th with someone in a high position

    Off to work now

  587. Lisa's SD in NYC says:

    Lisa – can I have your X-boss’s phone number? This is NSA right?

  588. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Good morning Sd :)

    Cassie I strongly recommend getting on an airplane, flying somewhere far away that you’ve never been, having him meet you at the airport, and then getting into his car. :) not everyone is a serial killer, and besides that one you know on a day to day basis at work or whatever, might be a killer

  589. Anna Molly says:

    Good morning all :)

  590. Lisa's SD in NYC says:

    I see Lisa more as the governess who moves up to being the lady of the house.

  591. CASSIE says:

    I think you should go with the flow and always meet in public the first few things to make sure he’s not a serial killer~

  592. LASB says:

    CASB – Thanks. I actually need an xmas day flight, so that may be useful. I’m glad to hear you’re feeling optimistic. I’ve had a few breakups where I felt renewed too. After a breakup (typically the heartbreaking ones) I can be found at the hair dresser getting a new hair style. It helps me feel “unstuck” somehow.

  593. CASB says:

    For anyone looking for flights, a site I use a lot is farecast It’ll tell you what the fares are for most airlines (Southwest and Jetblue excluded) and also for most major airports it will tell you what the prices between the two cities has been for the past couple months (each day) and if they expect the fare to increase, decrease, or stay the same over the next week. It’s pretty convenient. Sorry, I can’t help myself, I’m the deal/thrifty queen.

    On another note.. I don’t know if it’s the holidays or the fact that I’m rid of my ex, but I feel like a new person. I’m just very happy and optimistic lately. It’s really humbling actually. I like it. :)

  594. LASB says:

    UncommonGoods SB – I couldn’t have said it better myself. Wow, you are spot on with that one. I had a date where he seemed to think he was too classy for an escort, but the “arrangement” he suggested was really that of an escort. When I declined his offer, then he wanted ME to take the “test drive” just in case I might like it or something. He said, “look, I said I would pay you your fee” “My fee?!!” Again, I politely declined because it was sooooo not about the money.

    I have another question. SBs, do you ever get the sense that your potential SD isn’t into showering with gifts/attention/assistance, but is just going to bite the bullet of an allowance so that he can get an attractive NSA woman without much effort? If yes, is that ok with you so long as you like the guy? I wonder if I have an overly romantic requirement for my SD.

  595. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    NewbieSD: I like to think that most SD’s have at least some desire to be personal, but I was referring the more immature variety. The one’s that want to ‘get the party started’ or meet for an hour at a hotel on the first date? No mentoring, no genuine interest in helping a girl achieve her goals, no genuine interest in their pot SB beyond the physical act followed by a business transaction.

    There seems to be a substantial number of fake SD’s (at least a few who have messaged me) who want to call it an arrangment to make themselves feel better, but the tone and approach they take definitely seems suited for calling a pro. To each their own I suppose.

  596. cleo says:

    TXSB: i won’t forget that shoe comment of nygent’s for a long time either.

    just so you know nygent… most of us now want you to do that with us.
    okay night sugars

  597. TXSB says:

    Nice seeing you again! And yes, the holiday season does make me want to have someone here with me….

    Personally, I will not forget the “drinking from shoe” post for a long, loooong time! :)

    Re: How many dates before having sex with SD and if there’s a difference with IRL dating?

    Although I’m not comfortable sharing the specifics of my previous arrangement….I will say that I got intimate with my SD in a very short period of time. I did it b/c I was physically/emotionally attracted to him, and it “felt right”. I never felt pressured.

    My “standards” for having sex are different IRL dating. With a BF, I wait much longer to have sex b/c I’m hoping for a long term relationship that could possibly lead to marriage. I wouldn’t be with an SD if I wasn’t physically/mentally attracted to him. With an SD, I’m willing to give into my “hormones” once I receive my allowance….but with a BF, I’m much more analytical before I “give it up”. (I hope all that made sense!)

  598. cleo says:

    NYGent: SWM-TXSD became JSO

    photo says that TexaSD is fine just strapped at work

    hopefully i didn’t chase lurker and houston away

    um sdinatx just posted… yeah that’s all i got *g*

  599. cleo says:

    [these comments are from back in the scroll]
    NewbieSD: i was called toxic and negative by a man who was dumping me. when i repeated this to a friend her response was a stunned look and “but i like you because you can put a positive spin on *anything*”

    she has to make it your fault, it’s an ego thing, if she looks at herself in the mirror then she’ll have to deal with what she sees.
    NYGent: i wish i knew what to say, you seem dreamy to us…

    (that choos line was lol funny btw)
    Newbie: (re current comments, cause like, that’s not confusing at all)

    okay now i want to see your picture.

    it sounds like (this was said to me to explain someone’s treatment of me and the longer i let it sit the truer it seems) she knows she isn’t enough for you and that she can’t measure up and she’s making it your fault

  600. Newbie-SD says:

    cleo – agreed, maybe she’s thinking ‘ok I can do this, and then she thinks no this guy is hideous, I can’t handle this’. BUT IRL i’ve dated cheerleaders, models, generally attractive women, i’m in my 40s, in shape (33inch waist) played sports at college, ran marathons as recently as 10years ago – I can’t figure it out. BTW i’m not necessarily looking for arm candy. Allowance will cease BUT i’ll give her a no allowance re-trial and see where it goes (this minimizes my costs)

  601. cleo says:

    Newbie: a few days if they’re sick or whatever fine but if it’s the first six months and the sex is already dying?

    cut your losses

  602. Newbie-SD says:

    cleo – yes alas it’s a bad sign (for me at least)

  603. cleo says:

    NewbieSD: in retrospect every time i’ve gone born again virgin on someone? the relationship had been over for a while. so now i use it as a sign…

  604. Newbie-SD says:

    Curious SD – methinks it’s variable but it can be 1 day to never with every variation in between. I think it would follow a Poussin distribution statistics with many clumping around the within the two week period then with a long tail to never. This is something you should talk through but with some SBs it’s tough as some find it extremely awkward i’m sorry but I rarely go for these. BUT I’m encountering a new breed of SB which is the born again virgin (ie we had sex but not any more).

    MCM – Uncommon – trust me if men were only interested in sex we’d find an escort it’s soooo much cheaper, shorter meet process & less drama. Btw from a guys perspective the male fantasy is the entire package who is also into me but REALITY intrudes.

    NY Gent – I may stick awhile – not forever – guys are just less communicative but I feel like paying it forward as I got some advice earlier.

  605. TXSB says:

    Hi Everyone…. :) Welcome to all the new bloggers!

    Loooong day…..now catching up.

  606. cleo says:

    Hi Curious, welcome :)

    all right imma gonna rean freakin seven thousand comments now…

  607. CuriousSD says:

    A question for the blog as a whole–after how many dates is it typical for SBs/SDs to have sex? Is there a difference with IRL dating?

  608. CuriousSD says:

    I have a question for SincerSD, as he said, “2nd round interviews: Go on dates with several SB; multiple dates with your 3 strongest candidates.” Now, do you tell these SBs that there are other candidates being considered at the same time and that, for example, they are on their third date being compared with two other SBs. Also, how do you deal with SBs who want money to meet either the first or second time?

  609. 2Chic says:

    Hi Sugas, at least those who are up. How is everyone!

  610. Yaz~ I hear you , I can’t re-read everything! it’s way too much…

  611. Yaz10 says:

    Gosh…too many comments….It is going to take me hours to catch up..

  612. Hi SDinATX~ long time no see

    Hi DesertBunny~ you beautiful girl you! 😉 i’m coming to the hot tub!

  613. DesertBunny says:

    Good Evening SugarLand!

    UG SB – Hello! We would love to have you at the SoCal meet :)

    socalsoiree @ google

    NYGent – You can drink champagne out of a ‘choo’? Damn!

    LASB – You have mail :)

    I am going to the hot tub now… you are all welcome to join me!

  614. ATX – Well thank you! Glad someone is still there – I didn’t think so, but I wanted to ask the question.

  615. SDinATX says:

    CA Dreamin SB, just because there are no strings, doesn’t mean we don’t have chemistry, etc.

  616. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    Good night everyone!

  617. Midwest says:

    Uncommon – There’s more than one way to ring in the New Year (I wonder if james if booking a flight as we speak?)

    I’m signing off! Goodnight sugars!

    If/when “AO” signs on, I’m sure all of you will enjoy meeting him.

  618. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    Midwest: Your NY flight idea sounds like it could be quite the ride with the right travel buddy! Pun intended.

  619. Midwest says:

    MCM – No….I adore YOU! (((hugs))))

    Hi Cleo.

    CA – Flights are usually much better on Christmas and NY Day. A friend advised me to fly from east coast to west coast on NY Eve so you can see the fireworks during the whole flight. Join the mile high club at the same time and the night would be quite a success!!

  620. Hello sugars!!!!
    How is everyone?
    I had a long day….

  621. cleo says:

    omg i’m so behind… awesome

  622. Midwest says:

    NYGent – you live in the most heavily populated city in the country and you can also go both ways. You just need the right approach. Since you are a pushover for doe-eyed, pouty, 20-somethings, you’re going to have to appeal with your unwavering and genuine charm first, THEN once they pass the first screening, you can spoil them with LV and CLs.

  623. Now, hopefully the flights on Christmas day will be empty!

  624. CA Dreamin SB says:

    MCM – the flights were uneventful, and the layovers afforded me an opportunity to sign on and chat some. I’m glad to be home…even if it is just for a few days.

  625. MusicCityMistress (MCM) says:

    ‘this’ I mean….it’s been a long day :)

  626. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Midwest – you have mail

  627. MusicCityMistress (MCM) says:

    Midwest: I absolutely adore you:) I actually had to block someone. I am in the process of a profile makeover.

    CA Dreamin SB: Hi! I hope you had a nice flight. If you have already talked about his sorry…I haven’t been on here a lot lately and catching up is a task.

  628. always2sweet says:

    well sugars, I really want to stick around, as the current blog topic interests me(and I have a LOT of thoughts about it lol) But I think Im going to go lay in my bed and practice my Italian Exercises, and then fantasy shop in my new WWD and W before I hit the hay :) I lead such an exciting life! lol Ciao!

  629. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    Midwest: Yep “en masse” pretty much sums up the number of emails I’ve gotten, and not responded to, from guys like that.

  630. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Hey there Midwest!

    NY Gent – yes, I know, we’re cluttering up the blog 😉

  631. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    NYGent: I don’t like the idea of of either person fulfilling anything right away. Yes, this may require a bit of patience with this approach in my search for an SD, but I feel like it will help weed out the fakers and slime more efficiently. If an SD is seeing eye to eye with me, seeking something long term with trust and consistency, then I don’t see the harm in taking a minute or two to get a real feel for each other first. We’ll see.

  632. CA Dreamin SB says:

    ATX – I’m all for no strings, but don’t you at least want to LIKE the person you’re with and enjoy spending time with them?

  633. Midwest says:

    MCM, A2S and uncommon – do NOT waste any extra e-mails or conversations on guys like that…next! Do not even attempt the clever come back. Just say No Thanks and find a respectable guy. They will weed out the longer you are on. It seems like they hit on the new profiles en masse. I had quite a few the first six weeks or so. One kept popping up when I made changes until I blocked him. Stay focused! B
    Hugs…Momma Midwest…hee hee

  634. MusicCityMistress (MCM) says:

    Uncommon: Hi:) Regarding your previous post, that is exactly what I am talking about.

  635. always2sweet says:

    Uncommon ~ I totally agree. I would like to think that if sex or physical things were all that an SD wanted, he might save himself the time, allowance, and effort a true and good arrangement would take and just get a nice professional girl.

  636. NYGent says:

    Well SDinATX you are lucky, you can go either route . . .

  637. Midwest says:

    ATX keeps the dates locked up in his dungeon! :-) Glad to see you back! Question – do you seek a different kind of woman on SA than you would IRL? Does the allowance play into that at all?

  638. NYGent says:

    uncommon: well i think there are people of both sexes who take advantage: guys who press for the physical stuff immediately and never come through with the $$ (and maybe never intended to), and SBs who try to milk as many $$ as they can with no intention of holding up their end of the mutual bargain. Can’t tell you which is more prevalent, probably the former, but i’ve seen the latter in practice and it’s not uncommon IMO.

  639. SDinATX says:

    NYGent, I’m in my 30s, etc. Yes, I can get dates IRL. Getting a date is easy. The way I see it an SD/SB relationship is about the NSA more than anything else. I don’t have to worry too much about them getting attached.

  640. Holy cow, how did it get to be so late so fast?? I need to get to bed. I promised my daughter I would. She told me I looked exhausted!! Great!! I’m off to dream land… have fun everyone.. I’ll try to catch up tomorrow!!

  641. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    NYGent: A few state that they are married, most say they’re single. Of course you never know who’s really waiting on the other end of an email. The turn off for me is the immediate and aggressive focus on the physical stuff, without having any class about making sure there’s intellectual compatibility. I must actually like and respect someone as a person first and foremost, and must at least be led to believe that they reciprocate that aspect of any arrangement.

  642. Midwest says:

    JSO was on yesterday…he seems busy. Isn’t he the one who changed his name from TexasSD? I get confused anymore :-)

    Ladies – I’m talking to someone who I almost met , but circumstances got in the way. He knows about james and I. He’s a Chicago SD and new to the blog. He’s looking to join the Midwest Meet…I’m sure you will give him a warm welcome when he comes on. He’s handsome, Irish, mid 30s, and a gentleman.

  643. photogirl says:

    WPB – Darn… my fingers are faster than my brain this evening.

  644. photogirl says:

    Midwest –
    I spent a couple of months working in WPM the year we had those 4 hurricanes. I am on the opposite coast. Did not get out much as we were working 12 hour days 7 days a week. But did get out to City Place on few evenings. Nice area.

    NY Gent –
    I am about 2 1/2 hours north of Naples.
    I agree about the vanishing SDs… would be nice to have them around more often on the blog.

  645. HEy CA, welcome back! I’m thinking the same thing… was a good day.. was everyone snowed in again?

    My room mate let me borrow his truck today to work. It has 4 wheel drive. Good thing too, I needed to use it 2ce. Got stuck in half shoveled drives. No way my car would have gotten out!! I filled his tank for him for being so nice to me. Now to pay off that credit card I use for gas… :(

  646. NYGent says:

    uncommon: curious, are the guys in their 30s who “want an escort” married (a la Tiger?). I don’t think there are many good looking younger guys on the SA site who are single, because (a) they haven’t accumulated wealth yet and (b), face it, those guys (whatever their income level) have no problem attracting women IRL and don’t need to offer an allowance, they are in such great demand that women will fall all over them. What SA does is give us more mature guys a chance to level the playing field, just a little bit.

  647. HI MidWest!! Oh my, I’ve missed some good stuff today!! Hate that I have to work!! I need a SD to suport me so I can spend my day on the blog!! 😛

  648. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Good evening all…I can’t even begin to catch up on everything I’ve missed :)

  649. NYGent: After reading about “availabilty”, hmm maybe my search for a new career should be put on hold. I can schedule my days around my life, but I DO have a goal to make each month. Hard to just take time off with a 9-5 job that wants me there every day. Just wish I could make the sales I need to to make ends meet!!

  650. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    MCM: I agree on the long term thing and I’m also finding that guys in my age group (early 30’s) seem to want more of an escort. Eek. It’s so much more attractive to me to develop a sincere trust, confidence and friendship with someone, and them with me, over time.

  651. Midwest says:

    NYGent you have mail

    Hi ESB!

  652. NYGent says:

    uncommon: well, you said it, i didn’t. I try not to crititicize former SBs here, bad form, and when they’re very much younger I can’t really hold them as accountable as I’d like.

  653. NYGent says:

    On another topic: seems we’ve had a dozen or so new SDs appear in the last couple weeks, only to disappear after one or two blogs. What gives? And what happened to some of our prior colleagues, SDTexa, SWM Tex, et al? JSO? then there’s “lurking” SD, “Houston SD,” “cheating SD,” so many one hit wonders . . . really, we as Sd bloggers are not nearly as constant and loyal as our SB blogger sisters . . . Come on guys!

  654. MusicCityMistress (MCM) says:

    Good Evening Sweet Sugar Fam!

    Welcome new SDs & SBs:)

    Wow! Great topics were raised today!

    How do arrangements develop for you? Which stages have you gotten to (i.e., initial message, mutual interest, planning, date, etc.)?

    Well, I am still searching, but ideally the initial process would be as mentioned in the earlier blog post and I re-posted below:

    Day 1 Initial message

    Day 1-4 Mutual interest confirmed

    Day 1-6 Planning of possible arrangement and/or 1st date

    Day 1-14 Date

    I am seeking an arrangement of six months to a year and it’s very important for me to meet someone who is serious. Having said that, it will probably take some time. So far, the men around my age seem to want a ‘pay for play’ type situation while seeing multiple SBs. I am seeking a mentor and someone who is not with me just for my body as I will not view them as just an ATM. The SD knows he helped me accomplish a goal, introduced me to things that I can’t experience on my own and I brought some sunshine to his life and not constant drama.

    This is why I joined SA. I have spent my entire life working and going to school and now I have the career I have worked towards, but the process has not been easy. Last year, I was working full time and going to school which made a relationship difficult. I seem to attract men who discourage a woman who has ambition or wants me to sacrifice my goals to stand behind them; I don’t want that at all. I thought this sight would introduce me to a man who is intelligent, kind and thinks it’s great a woman is trying to better herself.

    From what I read earlier this morning (still trying to catch up) I wanted to put in my two cents. I think for those who are seeking an arrangement for more than a month or so, it does take more time. Especially since a substantial amount of time and money will be invested. It’s important for both parties to walk away from the arrangement feeling like they contributed and enriched the other person’s life while feeling they have been enriched as well.

    Need to grab a bite to eat :)

  655. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    NYGent: Then she must have been an ice queen :)

  656. NYGent says:

    Uncommon: not really, bec didn’t melt the last heart . . .

  657. Good evening Everyone!! Jeez, spend a day working, and it’s crazy trying to catch up on all the new posts!! WEll, hello first, and I’ll try to see what I missed!!

    NYGent, don’t give up sweety, not all SBs are going to flip that switch on you!!

  658. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    NYGent: You’re such a tease. You MUST know that you are melting hearts with that kind of talk.

  659. Midwest says:

    NYGent – You find the good in everything. Besides, you just made every girl on the blog go *sigh*. :-)

  660. NYGent says:

    Midwest: maybe not hazardous to health but to wallet. I’m sorry but can’t help myself, I love well-dressed women and can’t help myself shopping for them and seeing their faces light up at a chanel or LV bag, or La Perla, or whatever. Lot of good that did me with the last SB, right?

  661. NYGent says:

    photogirl: i’ll be in Naples over MLK weekend for an annual golf tournament, but can’t remember where you’re located. Probably not this visit but another time?

  662. Midwest says:

    NYGent – Paying attention to one’s “choos” could never be hazardous to YOUR health! Drink and be merry!

  663. NYGent says:

    LASB: I was hoping nobody rememberd the shoe drinking post, darn. Then there was the shoe-gasm post, that was fun. I think paying attention to women’s choos, I mean shoes, can be hazardous to one’s health.

  664. Midwest says:

    PG – I grew up near WPB. Always lived south until the last 10 years here. I only intended to stay here a few years…see how that turned out! I can say that my personal life and career have improved since I moved up here. It’s much cheaper to live here, but the social scene is just ok.

  665. photogirl says:

    oops… hit submit to soon. I meant to say yes, 60…brrr… but I miss the snow and mountains very much. I’d probably freeze at this rate though since it has been so long.

  666. photogirl says:

    UG SB & Midwest – I know! I have been bundled up all day… Apparently I have been in Florida too long! Anything below 60 and we kind of wimp out.

    Midwest – Are you from FL? But I miss the snow very much.

    If anyone ever does come to FL to visit…please let me know!

  667. Midwest says:

    Goodnight Lisa. Stay safe and warm. I’m sure Percy will watch over you.

  668. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    The 40’s now seem warm compared to the 6 degree temperature I experienced while on my trip. Of course I had someone to keep me warm :)

    Have a good night everyone

  669. Midwest says:

    Hi PG – I was hoping to head home for a few days, but looks like car repairs come first :-( My bff in FL was complaining of 60 degree weather – darn the luck!

  670. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    Photogirl: I bet most people would laugh at us (being from AZ and FL) during our ‘cold’ days, all bundled up when it dips down into the 40s and 50s at night in the winter. LOL! That’s like spring weather everywhere else!

  671. photogirl says:

    Good Evening everyone!

    New bloggers and returning ones… but none in Florida :( Maybe everyone should come down here and enjoy the warmer weather for a day or two!

    Although it has been a pretty chilly in these parts the last few days!

    Eric – Yes… you are right, would be nice to have someone around!

  672. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    Thanks Midwest. Sounds like a good time! The one in CA seems like it might be a possibility since it’s so close. Plus, going from AZ to CA, the chances of weather issues or delays would be slim to none.

  673. Midwest says:

    a2s – you’re right…there are priorities. You’d better get to that guerilla marketing and get school covered so you can spend your time visiting with us and networking!

  674. Midwest says:

    Uncommon – The first one was held earlier this month in NY. Our hosts were NCGent and NYGent. It really happened on the fly, but turned out to be a great time. The two gents were sharing a table with 7 beautiful sbs where we enjoyed drinks, dinner, travel stories and then some entertainment at the Rose bar by Santa and some Italian guy. :-) It was a hit and now SDN has put together a Midwest Meet with James helping a bit. Looks like it’s catching on in CA, TX and Boston. It really is a great way to meet each other. If I may, I would suggest the travelling be done in the summer. I was having all kinds of delays for the NYC gathering. I wouldn’t have missed it for anything!

  675. always2sweet says:

    Im not sure, part of me really wants to come, but the other part of me(thats living on student loans right now and trying to go to NY this summer) thinks it would be really irresponsible. So Im still pondering haha

  676. UncommonGoods - SB says:

    I live in AZ, just an hour flight from CA. Can someone share a little info on what these meetup events are all about?

  677. Midwest says:

    Not at all…CA Dreamin and I have been competing for that honor!

    Did you figure out if you can make the midwest meet?

  678. always2sweet says:

    I think it might have been me…I seem to have that affect on the blog lol

  679. Midwest says:

    A2S – Yeah – A chorus!

    Did I almost clear the room….AGAIN???