9 years ago
Assumptions in Sugarland



A long-time member recently said that for him, it’s often difficult to gauge whether someone he meets outside the Sugarbowl is interested in him romantically as an older and established man, or if the friendship they seek is purely platonic. He says SA is like a cafe where he can meet “great people” who, by being on the site, signal their potential interest in an arrangement that could be intimate.

Most here are seeking an arrangement that will involve some type of intimacy, yet many sugars have had platonic arrangements they find plenty sweet. One Hawaiian Sugar Baby wrote that she received an allowance from a Sugar Daddy who lives in Texas and never wanted to meet in person. Yet 77% of sugars polled say they’re not interested in “platonic/non-sexual arrangements”.

“[…] i have been burned by the “platonic” too but somehow I just can’t bring myself to say directly to someone, in person, “now you do understand that this will involve intimacy, don’t you?” If they are on the site they should understand that, or make explicit in their profile (as I have seen some do), that they are expressly NOT looking for a physical relationship.” – NYGent

Chemistry and negotiation are words found often in Sugarland, both elements balancing out in a unique way in every arrangement.

How does negotiation and chemistry factor in to how intimate you are with a sugar?

SincereSD: How do the rest of you handle seeing people you know when on a sugar date?

Do you have any sugar dates or meets planned?

Leave a Reply

574 Responses to “Assumptions in Sugarland”

  1. NC Gent says:

    Yes most don’t expect a no-sex allowance but most do want a monthly type of arrangement and not a “pay-per-play” type of arrangement. Most feel you should call an escort for that… I understand your point and feelings though… just curious – how generous were you in per diem? If that is too intrusive, I understand.

  2. Midwest says:

    Part time sugar – You may want to state in your profile (as you did here) what type of arrangement you are seeking. NC Gent is correct in that most of the sbs I know are looking for something that is less sporadic. Seeing somebody on a regular basis allows for better intimacy and feels less escort-ish. Although you may compensate well, it is very helpful to be able to budget a regular allowance rather than the ocassional windfall.

    All that said, we all want something different (TLG). You will find the right lady, she’s just going to be an exception to the norm. It will be worth it when you do.

  3. part time sugar says:

    well the money/intimacy equation is the essence of this, holding out for a ns allowance seems kind of unrealistic on their part and the reason why most SB are still looking for a SD, I think

  4. NC Gent says:

    Hi Part-time sugar — I think you are going to have difficulty finding an SB that will take a per diem type arrangement. Some state they will do that in their profiles, but most equate it with prostitution/escorting so they won’t. Most true SBs aren’t in it for just the money but rather the whole experience. Best wishes in your search!

  5. part time sugar says:

    HI, I have had the privilege of meeting a few ladies from this site and I am both disappointed and frustrated by their attitude and demands. I live in a resort area and could entertain and SB at most once or twice a month and then only during the warm months ( it travel most of the winter) I offered what I considered a generous compensation for their time when we are together and explained that our meetings where to be when it was mutually convenient, not at my beck and call. I also wasn’t expecting any exclusivity either. But all of them without exception wanted a monthly allowance not a per diem arrangement. Strikes me as unreasonable and as it seems that most SBs are looking for SD, my offer should have been perhaps at least considered ? perhaps SBs are fooling themselves about what they offering and this is part of the self deception ?

  6. CRob SPup says:

    AM – o/ I’m doing well enough. How are you today?

    Taylor – Personally, I find that very few women turn me off. If they don’t turn me off, then there’s always a chance that personality will win me over; however if there is something that turns me off, there’s little chance to work around it.
    While I don’t think I’m part of some small minority, getting the chance to show your personality when you’re missing that raw physical attraction can be difficult. While individual guys are usually not shallow, the guy subculture usually is. =/

  7. Back from my date – which went better than I expected :) The only one I really wasn’t looking forward to – figures lol! Anyway – don’t know if it will go any further – we are in the same town which is quite scary for both of us (funny enough we both listed the same bigger city near us and almost died when we admitted where we both really lived :P) Time will tell though – was a bit nervous as I met him on a non sugar site – but he seems to be down with the program – and even gave me a small monetary gift for meeting with him…sooooo

    Question for all the SD’s – if you decided to give a monetary gift with no expectations after a sugar date, how would you feel if she was hesitant (or declined) taking it?

    Question for the SB’s – if you were given a monetary gift after a sugar date, how would you feel, or what would your reaction be (both if you liked pot SD, and didn’t like him..)

  8. Cali SB says:

    NC — The meet (as far as I know) is a dinner in L.A. on Feb. 25 and potentially a second on the 26th. Mark it in your calendar now. :) PS – I LOVE to fly! 😉

    CA — You will be there, right? :)

  9. NC Gent says:

    I will fly Cali SB out only if she helps me join the Mile High Club lol I am unfortunately not a member of that club….. yet!

  10. Cali SB says:

    MMMM Sprinkles Cupcakes for breakfast, day 2! :)

  11. NC Gent says:

    Taylor — when I was younger, I couldn’t see past the minor physical flaws and I missed out on some great young ladies. As I matured, I place a lot higher value on personality and shared common interests. So my opinion would be that mature men are more likely to look past some physical flaws when there is some chemistry. JMHO though. Men indeed are more visual creatures though.

  12. Hi everybody :)

    How is everyone today?

  13. Taylor says:

    You guys have been really helpful! One curiosity. Any of you guys out there feel like chemistry can be established largely in the mind, or is it only us girls able to see past physical flaws?

  14. CA Dreamin SB says:

    You know, NC Gent, that’s a REALLY long flight…maybe you should fly Cali out to NC to keep you company on the flight out! :)

  15. NC Gent says:

    OK — I would NEVER ignore Cali SB so I am coming to California meet — when is it again?

  16. CA Dreamin SB says:

    NC Gent – oooo – she told you!!! 😛

  17. Cali SB says:

    Cleo — Thanks for the link! I will check it out later for sure!

    NC Gent — You HAVE to come to the CA meet. Don’t tease us saying you’ll probably be there and then not come. :) I will be there, so I expect to see you there! 😉

  18. Yaz says:

    Bonjouuuuuuuuur Sugar Fam!! :-) Feeling great today! :-)

    It is nice and warm here ( Did I really say warm?? lol :-D) Oh and sunny too! lol A nice change from the freeeeeezing cold we’ve for the last couple of days.

    Midwest Meet ~ Have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)

  19. cleo says:

    CA DReamin: man a sugar dating reality show

    i’m dying laughing just imagining it.
    nc gent, for me the statistic is almost exactly reversed

  20. Gemini29 says:

    Ok so time for me to answer the questions:
    How does negotiation and chemistry factor in to how intimate you are with a sugar?

    I like to work my way into intimacy with any person…I’m not a bam, you put down money now you get my body kind of girl. I love the romance aspect of an arrangement…dinners, dates..everything that works me up into intimacy. Chemistry to me is more than just instant tear-our-clothes-off-the-first-time-we-meet-lust….to me chemistry is about a connection and how we get along, and if the conversation flows easily and we can laugh together. Being able to be genuinely comfortable with the person goes a LONG way towards my view of “chemistry”.

    SincereSD: How do the rest of you handle seeing people you know when on a sugar date?

    This hasn’t happened yet, but if it DID…they would get introduced as a friend. Totally plausible and believable in my world…and basically the truth. I couldn’t have a SD who WASN’T a friend, so it follows that any SD would have to be a friend! 😀

    Do you have any sugar dates or meets planned?
    None yet. I’m really picky about whom I set up dates/meets with, and thus…not many make it.

  21. Gemini29 says:

    Re: Sugar Ski Trip

    I really hope one happens on the east coast, either Stowe or Stratton or one of the like…. because financials being the way they are for me, it would be the only one I could feasibly attend! And there is no WAY I want to miss out on meeting some skiing sugar friends…and non-skiing sugar friends too! :) The more the merrier in the hot tub, thats what I always say!

  22. CRob SPup says:

    Yay approved profile. Boo first naysayer. Less than 12 hours in and I’ve already got someone telling me I’m on the wrong website. Ah well, at least I’m getting profile views. ^_^

  23. TXSB says:

    NC Gent:
    Dunno yet (re: Meet).

    I wonder if JSO is still planning the Texas meet…..

    Re: Seduction
    I agree w/ NC Gent that it starts with the brain/mind.

  24. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Cleo – What a show that would be! :)

  25. NC Gent says:

    I guess I have been fortunate to have only encountered one selfish lover. When it did happen, it really struck me as odd though. Maybe I have just been lucky I guess.

    I might be able to do an east coast ski trip also, but I really believe only one ski trip is going to “fly” this year! I hope I don’t have to decide on which one!

  26. cleo says:

    nc gent: those are the same ones who don’t understand that the road to great sex MUST have two generous lovers on it. selfish and great sex? not possible. well not sustainably.

    i’ve been the generous one with a selfish partner and it’s always STARTED well…

  27. cleo says:

    nc gent/ ca dreamin: we had been discussing an east coast ski meet as well but i see no reason not to do a couple of them.

    does anyone else want to turn these meets into a reality show? *g*

  28. NC Gent says:

    Cleo — seduction does indeed start with the brain/mind. So many forget about the mental aspect to great sex IMHO.

  29. cleo says:

    cali it was specific, was called something like ‘sexless sugar’ – ah here it is Re: Sex Money and sugar and it’s here /blog/ *remove spaces* ?p=210
    plain jane/ gemi i could not have phrased it better myself… it’s the brain that gets me, everything else is just… dressing

  30. CA Dreamin SB says:

    I still say a sugar meet at Tahoe would be awesome

  31. NC Gent says:

    hmmmm February — I might be able to make that — I have a ski trip that I want to do some time this winter — maybe I could ski Lake Tahoe and make the sugar meet — are you going to try and go?

  32. TXSB says:

    Hi and welcome! :)

    NC Gent:
    Hey! Hope you’re doing well too…..I believe they’re planning a CA meet sometime in Feb. IIRC. Are you going to try to make it there?

  33. NC Gent says:

    Welcome to the blog BostonSB Nikki — you have started in the right place. There is a lot of great advice to be had on the blog. Best wishes in your sugar search!

  34. Gemini29 says:

    SDN – Have a drink for me as well!

    (at this rate, everyone at the meet is going to get blindingly drunk….)

    Hi BostonSB ! Welcome to the blog!! Its okay to take time to get your bearings, better to have a good sense of where you want this all to head for you rather than be scattywompus :)

  35. NC Gent says:

    Hi TXSB — hope you are well. I wish I could have gone to the Chicago dinner, but I have a commitment tomorrow that I couldn’t forego :(

  36. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Hey SDN! Have a drink for me tonight!

  37. BostonSB nikki says:

    Hey all, I signed up yesterday and just wanted to say hi to everyone in the community! Kinda bummed I missed out on all this Chicago buzz; hope everyone has a blast! I’ve never been in a SD/SB arrangement, so forgive me as I observe and try to get my bearings! Hope to hear from some of you, I’ve just finished up my profile!

    To answer the questions posed, to me chemistry is important. If they’re isn’t any it would feel too much like a business transaction and less like a beneficial relationship.

    I have no Sugar Dates planned :( and I’ve never had one! So I have not yet run into a problem of seeing people I know. However, I suppose I would just introduce them as a friend.

  38. TXSB says:

    Hi Everyone! :)

    I 2nd the others….hope the Chicago dinner is a blast! :)

  39. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Hello all. I have arrived in Chicago and all is well.

  40. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Good morning all! I hope everyone has a great time at the meet tonight!

  41. RE: the lunch date – I am not SUPER thrilled about this one…just keeping an open mind I suppose :)

  42. Gemini29 says:

    Taz – Have fun at your lunch date and at the meet! I wish I could be there (the meet not your lunch date) 😉

  43. Gemi – I wholeheartedly agree!

    Well off to my lunch date soon – I need to get ready!!!!! Lmao..

    Hope everyone SAFELY arrives at the Midwest Meet – have lotsa fun!!!!!

  44. Gemini29 says:

    Oh and I was gonna comment on something someone else wrote..
    PlainJane says
    “Chemistry is definitely important – but it doesn’t have to be physical. A great connection in terms of humor and conversation can be just as much of a turn on as a hard body.”

    My feelings on this too! If there is humor and good conversation and I think he is of a warm and sweet personality…then from there the fireworks can ignite. If there is no connection like that for me, then there is no chemistry….no matter how good-looking he is, how much wealth he has, or how fit he is. Once I establish that I LIKE the man, then my mind goes into overdrive thinking of all the fun things I can do to tantalize and seduce 😉

  45. Gemini29 says:

    Abby – I second the not having them meet you at the strip club…A) even though you are not a dancer, it will give them the wrong wrong wrong impression about you. B) just plain dangerous considering your safety and yourself, and C) most men of this caliber would never be caught dead in a strip club…it just isn’t who they are and they won’t feel comfortable going there to meet a girl nor be there. If you do have no way to get to and from the dinner, consider asking them to pay for a taxi for you. You could easily take a taxi from work, go have dinner with a pot SD, and then take a taxi back home or something along those lines. A real SD will have no problem taking care of transportation for you to meet you. Good luck hon!

  46. Cali SB says:

    Of course it works that time.. lol. Okay. Back to bed couch for me! 😉

  47. Cali SB says:

    Hmm that didn’t work. Bed was supposed to be crossed out in that sentence so it said back to couch. Oh well!

  48. Cali SB says:

    Cleo — Was that blog topic on platonic sugar or did the discussion just turn that way? I would love to read it but it’ll take me weeks to sort through that many blogs to find the discussion if it’s a different topic..

    I really think this blog is very helpful. Not only can SB’s share experiences to help others who are new or uncertain in their current or potential situation, but the SD’s here really show what high caliber and standards you should be looking for in potential SD’s. I’ve been able to easily weed out messages that would otherwise have been a waste of my time to pursue just by thinking about whether or not that would be something a blog SD would write or act like. I know that sounds silly, but in my experience with pot SD contacts so far, the blog SD’s really are the “creme de la creme” shall we say. (This is not to say that I have not messaged with other phenominal pot SD’s off of the blog, but I just wanted to point out the quality and general consistency of those who contribute here and my affinity for them).

    Annnnyway, it’s way too early for me to be awake right now and my doggy seems to have a cold (it’s like she needs to blow her nose, so bizarre!) — so back to bed couch for me! See you all later! :)

  49. Cali SB says:

    NC Gent — You have mail.

  50. cleo says:

    nc gent i used to waitress in one, i would be shocked if a man like many of the bloggers walked in the door UNLESS it was a bachelor party. and even then i expect him to look uncomfortable

  51. NC Gent says:

    BTW, I agree on the strip club thing — I would NEVER meet an SB at a strip club. Also, I have no interest in going to one. I haven’t been to one since a bachelor party in college, and even then I thought it sucked lol

  52. Abby says:

    yeah i guess thats true but its hard for me to get out of the house other than work i do have a b/f and dont have a car so its usally either home or work and i’d rather them come to my job. like i said i am very new to this. lol i even suck talking to guys at the club. i dunno i guess ill figure out what im doing first

  53. cleo says:

    2chic it’s my location. in nyc and florida and europe etc i get double takes and followed down the street (ok i only get followed in italy lol)
    cali sb there’s an entire blog on this problem… a month or two ago – something about sexless sugar and does it exist
    nyc sb i did check but i’m not currently in a financial position to be paying fees at websites. business is picking up though :)

    if it were just SA i would shrug it off but this has been going on for years. i don’t get hit on (HERE, only here) and i rarely get asked out. i do better with the internet (theory is that at least there they know i’m single) and in any town but this one … why the hell do i still live here?

    mostly i am just so over the not showing up for dates or the promising to call and not calling. be a freaking man, if you aren’t into me don’t pretend you are until you escape.
    abby a lot of men don’t want to go to strip clubs. furthermore you really want every potential you meet to know where you work BEFORE you meet him? seems very unsafe

  54. Abby says:

    ill try that thanks. i accually might be meeting someone today who seems very nice. its just kind of hard for me because i work at a strip joint and in there i can be whoever i want i can be as naughty or nice there but outside of there im just plain old me its like having a double life. but thanks nc gent

  55. Cali SB says:

    Abby — I think you could be attracting the wrong type of man by saying that you work at a strip club, though it sounds like you’re not a dancer yourself. True SD’s are gentlemen and aren’t generally the type of guy you would be finding hanging around a strip club. The fact that the one pot SD wants to take you to dinner instead of meeting at the club is a GOOD thing. Besides, meeting at your work is NOT safe. You should meet in a public place. There are crazy people out there and you don’t want everyone and their mother knowing where you work. While it may be safe inside, it’s not safe if someone is hiding behind/under/in your car outside. You need to keep your personal life to yourself until you find someone to have an arrangement with, and since you’re looking for strictly platonic, it’s going to take a lot longer to find that and most likely a lot more men to go through. Do you really want all of those strangers knowing where you work? It’s scary. When people ask me what part of LA I live in, I don’t even give my town name out. I use the 2 nearby towns and say -ish at the end. I can’t imagine letting so many strangers know where I work! JMHO.

  56. NC Gent says:

    Abby — I am sure there are a few SDs that would consider a platonic arrangement, but I bet there aren’t many. I can’t figure out why someone would give you money, gifts, etc just for the privilege to hang out with you. I think most men think that they will eventually have a chance for intimacy, so that is probably somewhat part of the problem. Plus, some men just don’t understand no.

  57. NYC SB says:

    Cleo – I am told I intimidate men as well… this doesnt mean that you are not dateable… it just means that they are not man enough to handle a real woman (as opposed to a plastic barbie)

    While most of the time I have no problem getting attention from other internet dating sites my contacts from SA pale in comparison. I think that SA has changed the inherent nature of male female interactions making the female become the hunter…

    Cali SB – I have had a platonic relationship however we both went into it thinking it would be an intimate one. My allowance was negotiated as if we were going to be intimate. He chose not to take the relationship there due to our business partnership… imho he probably was unable to perform but who am i to judge. i do think its rather rare to find that on sa and if you do it will probably we sans allowance, more like what nc gent said (dinners and such)

  58. Abby says:

    accually i am very new to this site and i was kind od wondering about that headliner post how they say that daddys dont want platonic relationships. well i clearly stated that i wont have sex but why dont some of these get it threw there heads. i want to meet someone nice. i told these guys they can come to my work (a strip club) they dont even have to get dancers from me. but i want to meet there first because its a safe place to me but yet one guy still is trying me to go out to dinner with him. so i know this is the internet and all but should i feel safe with half of these men or bring a switch blade with me? and as for the platonic thing how many of you accaully do that and how many dont? im just curious.

  59. NC Gent says:

    Hi Cali SB — the only way I would do a platonic SB is sans allowance. We could still do some travel, entertainment and nice meals, but to me a true sugar relationship involves intimacy. I probably wouldn’t be very interested in a platonic arrangement either. It would take a lot of time without the benefit I am seeking…. maybe if I found the SB very attractive and we had a lot of laughs.

  60. CRob SPup says:

    Hi all. So this is sort of a great post for me to start out on. I just made a profile. I’d been planning on doing it for quite some time but never got around to it.

    I’m a SB that’s looking for mainly a platonic relationship. I was very upfront in my profile about it and very quickly pointed out my expectations, which may be a setback for me, but I don’t want anyone to feel cheated. Then I saw the blog ^_^.

    It’s difficult to figure out how to present myself. I’d be interested in meeting a SD or a SM but the grounds would be very different. As I’m not really in need for an allowance, chemistry is everything for me. For a SD it would stay platonic, so while that’s easy to say, it’s hard to show I’m interested in developing an actual friendship. For a SM it might progress to something intimate, but only if the chemistry is there for both of us.

    How do you present that without being too overt? And how many people are actually looking for such arrangements?

  61. PlainJane says:

    How does negotiation and chemistry factor in to how intimate you are with a sugar?

    Chemistry is definitely important – but it doesn’t have to be physical. A great connection in terms of humor and conversation can be just as much of a turn on as a hard body. I’m a young girl looking for an arrangement with an older man, in some cases more than twice my age. Looks are obviously not the highest priority on my list – and that’s a good thing! I will say that money can be a powerful aphrodisiac for some people, myself included, and the more generous and easy-going a man is with his affluence, the more turned on I find myself. Fetish? Perhaps. Or maybe I just enjoy the feel of comfort I get when I know things are taken care of.

    How do the rest of you handle seeing people you know when on a sugar date?

    In general, sugar dates take me places way too expensive for my regular group of friends.

    Do you have any sugar dates or meets planned?

    Hopefully I will very soon! I just replied to a number of messages so we’ll see what lucky guy snaps me up first. I’m going to be “interviewing” with SDs in the next 2 weeks and hopefully I’ll find a match for me for some wonderful Valentine’s Day sugar!

  62. 2Chic says:

    SA is a man’s buffet . What ever dish he wants, it is all here. Sadly many can’t seem to get away from the looks long enough to see what lies beneath.

  63. 2Chic says:

    Cleo, honi I honestly you are a gorgeous woman. I believe it may be your location, and just SA.

  64. LASB says:

    Hi Cali SB – Love the name change! :) I’m not sure what a fair allowance is for platonic or not. What do you think? Some guys here think $1500/month is enough for wanting to meet 2xs a week nonplatonic. I laugh in their faces. Ok, not really, but in my head, I am laughing in their faces. haha.

  65. Cali SB says:

    Hi LASB!! Congrats and good luck on your lunch tomorrow. :)

  66. Cali SB says:

    It’s been a few hours and no one has replied to my question, so I’ll post it again, maybe it just got overlooked. Has anyone here (SB or SD) had a strictly platonic arrangement? If so, how often did you meet and what was your allowance (if you don’t mind)? In a city such as L.A. what would be a fair allowance for a platonic arrangement meeting 1 or 2 times per week?

  67. cleo says:

    lasb it’s not exactly that i’ve lost hope so much as that… no, i’ve lost hope.

    i cannot comprehend how a bright, pretty, classic featured, curvy, fun lady like myself can go years on end without a boyfriend or even being hit on but at some point you have to let it go. at some point you have to accept that the men in your town just aren’t into you.

    in some ways i came into the sugar world thinking that here at least might be someone who considers a troubleshooting synthesist fascinating. that maybe some man from one of those cities where i do get hit on might spot me. i thought if i looked for older and more accomplished men i would stop ‘scaring the shit’ out of them.

    not that i believe that crap either. scaring the shit out of them, oh please. that’s just what you tell a woman when you don’t know how to tell her she’s not dateable.

    but i don’t know. i know i’ll stay here with you guys but hope?

    i’m fresh out at the moment.
    beach girl yeah that’s the other reason i was looking older and richer. hoping there was still some class to be found.

    well, i know there is class to be found out there, i mean heck there’s men like nygent and sinceresd after all…

  68. LASB says:

    Hi Cleo – I hear ya on the manners. I find that most in their late 40s and over still have very good manners. I suppose that’s why I date much older guys on the whole. I think someone was talking about men who don’t pay for the date when you ask them out. That had totally happened with me on a few dates with younger guys from California. They actually hand you the check and ask for you to pay. Then they still somehow think they can seduce you into sleeping with them. Seems that California natives are the worst. New Yorkers don’t even let you pay even when you are platonic friends and you’ve asked them out. Anyhow, there are great guys out there, so don’t lose hope just yet. :)

  69. Beach_Girl says:

    Cleo~ it’s called the internet age. People don’t interact with each other anymore. Politeness is a rarity nowadays.. A friendly smile at the store??? everyone is in a rush to get somewhere…. It has to change at some point!
    I am sure it will…. when? no clue!

  70. cleo says:

    beach the truth is that after the level of rudeness i’ve experienced dating (sugar and not) in the last year i’ve found myself really focusing on my business instead.

    i’m lonely and a little sad but how to put this, i no longer expect anything. i go on dates off the internet for something to do that’s better than watching tv. that’s about it.

    i remember manners but i can’t find them anywhere…

    thanks for promising a report! i for some reason didn’t think you could go…

  71. Beach_Girl says:

    Cleo~ I will tell you how the meet up was!! 😀

  72. LASB says:

    Hi bloggers! I took a few days off from the blog, and then it took me a few days to catch up again! Hope you have a great meetup tomorrow! Sorry I can’t join. I’m still recovering from Vegas. :)

    How does negotiation and chemistry factor in to how intimate you are with a sugar?
    Well, unless he wants to be a platonic sugar, we better have some awesome chemistry.

    How do the rest of you handle seeing people you know when on a sugar date?
    I just introduce them as my friend. Being really social, it’s not unusual to run into people on any date, and the intro is virtually always the same for everyone, men, women, married or not.

    Do you have any sugar dates or meets planned?
    I have a lunch tomorrow. First meet. Hopefully it goes well. The guy seems very nice so far.

  73. Beach_Girl says:

    Taz~ I am sure you will make it one day!!!

    Cleo~ I’m sure things will happen… it just takes time

  74. cleo says:

    i was supposed to have a date tomorrow. a non sugar one with a dreamy man who basically described me when he wrote what he was looking for

    of course when the time came to actually arrange a meetup?


    and i got stood up on sunday by yet another internet person. what is with the inherent rudeness that is taking over our culture?

  75. I hope everyone has a blast tomorrow…maybe one of these days I will make it to one… 😀

    However, it seems I have made a tradition of having a date on the same day as the blog meetups – this pot is local..kinda nervous…

  76. cleo says:

    taylor said “I personally wouldn’t even let a platonic friend cover any of the food if we had a meal out if I knew he/she was unemployed and I had money to spare. It just seems crazy, the lack of generosity/manners in the city I live in.”

    i’m totally with you on this, i’ve treated lots of broke friends. what amazes ME? when those same people aren’t buying me dinner now when i’m having a tough year. do they think i won’t remember that next time they need help?
    SDinATX: awesome, i’ll boot the other box tomorrow
    Will the chicago dinner be shrouded in secrecy or will we get a nice report like nygent did of the nyc one?

    wish i could go

  77. Beach_Girl says:

    Hi Everyone!
    Hope you are all well?

    SDinATX~ the meet is tomorrow night…

    Gemi~ Congrats!

  78. FantasticBlonde(427621) says:

    I am excited to say that I have received a few emails and I am super excited at the thought of making new friends and adventures!

    How do you proceed and determine if the SD is for real? I don’t want to be naive but fear that the old saying, “if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is”. So, with that being said, how do you know if what they proclaim is true?


  79. NYC SB says:

    im glad the blog hasnt been as active as it normally is… i am getting crushed at work :(

    PG – I will tell broke bf about the perfect brownie pan… and once i do im willing to bet thats what i am getting for valentines day

    James – I am a great SB! but the shamwow wasnt from an SD but from the BF… SD is supper suportive over me working like a slave… my first day off this month is hopefully the weekend of Jan 23rd and him and I are hitting the spa for pampering but before that an awesome champagne brunch 😀

    Taylor – yes do not give up… couple of more weeks on the blog and you will not only learn so much but you will become confident about asking an allowance!

    Gemi – congrats on the date!

    Chicago crew – Have a blast tomorrow… midwest I want a full report first thing wednesday morning… in return i will come up with a retirement plan for ya 😛

    Cali – glad you liked my blog… i will write more once i get a day off work

  80. MoonPatrol says:

    Any body notice that the girl at the photo on the top of this blog has some nice looking boots.?

  81. Midwest says:

    ATX – It’s tomorrow…but if we stretch the party a little, you could make the tail end of it. (If they don’t insist we leave the city or end up on CNN)

  82. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Taylor – seriously – don’t date guys who can’t afford to pay when they ask you to go out with them. I can’t remember the last time I paid when a guy asked me out – now – I have planned special dates where I took them out and paid, but that was few and far between! Don’t give up on this – I firmly believe what you are looking for is out there, and if it isn’t this guy – maybe it’s the next one!

  83. Midwest says:

    Gemi – Yay! You bring great news to cheer everyone up.

    It is a roller coaster ride, so hang on and make the most of it!! Reminds me of a story….er, never mind. :-0

    I miss Flo Rida…come back!!!

    Taylor – No doubt this isn’t easy and it isn’t for everyone. Hopefully one or two great things can come from the experience. Pls stick around the blog and let us know how things turn out in business and your career!

    james – forgive me dear, but we may need to have a fashion show tomorrow…don’t ask!!

  84. SDinATX says:

    Cleo, sure, you know how to send them.

    Gemini, I’m totally jealous! However, hopeful that it works out. Yes, great SD do exist, sadly we don’t all live near ya. Good luck with it.

    So the Chicago meet is Thursday right?

  85. 2Chic says:

    Evening Suga Fam

    Gemini, congrats to u, I really hope all goes well for you.

  86. Taylor says:

    Eh, you guys are right. I don’t know, it’s just hard having two entire weeks to kill where I can’t see him and he and I are emailing a bit every day but I’m just feeling the distance and starting to get insecure when more and more days pass since we met and I felt so confident and happy in his interest in me. I am not good at sitting on my hands and being patient. I am so hopeful that he will surprise me and help me out in one way or another (whether it’s networking, pulling strings to land me an interview, contributing something to the launch of my business, or just him delivering a regular allowance to help me float from now until I’m supporting myself) so that I can add in appreciation and greater relaxation into the mix of things I am feeling for him, and erase the awkwardness/ambiguity of us seemingly entering into a traditional LDR relationship when we did in fact meet on SA, both of us genuinely seeking an arrangement. Just…. bizarre, in a way. I even slightly resent him for not having asked me whether I prefer cash or transfer so he can start participating in my life, financially, right away, given how it’s pretty transparent how helpful that would be and he said explicitly that he wants to begin a hopefully long term connection with me starting now.

    I really hope he wasn’t lying about any or all of the things he said to me, but I’m getting slightly insecure and apprehensive. Or maybe since it’s 4am I just need to go to seep. I did delete my profile on this site. I think if it doesn’t work out with him I probably won’t create a new profile. This is just too difficult to bring in money to a budding romance. An I could never approach romance in any other way than genuiney feelings, excitement, chemistry… I just thought it was an awesome idea to have the guy you’re into also be able to help you boost your career, help tide you over financially during a hard patch, etc, in addition to all the other things involved with being together. Would just be more relaxing, fun, traditional, romantic, etc, ….rather than dealing with the guys who stand there and itemize the check after lunch or dinner, and then stand there and watch me count out coins from my purse to cover every last bit of what I ate and drank even if they earn quite well and know I’m unemployed. I personally wouldn’t even let a platonic friend cover any of the food if we had a meal out if I knew he/she was unemployed and I had money to spare. It just seems crazy, the lack of generosity/manners in the city I live in.
    Getting off soapbox.

  87. james.m says:

    That’s wonderful, Gemi!

  88. JSO - TXSD says:

    gemin29 that is great news. You go girl!

  89. Gemini29 says:

    Hey Everyone! Had a date with a potential SD over the weekend…..it was great fun and he was super sweet and very gentlemanly…basically everything I would want in an SD…I had an absolutely lovely time with him…and would love to see him again, and said as much in a “Thank You” email I sent him. Soooo…. the ball is in his court, but at the very least it was a wonderful heavenly time….true (fantastic) SDs DO exist out there girls!

  90. cleo says:

    i am sad i can’t come tomorrow but i too hope you all have a blast.
    SDinATX if you’re bored i have some pictures to decide about…

  91. Midwest says:

    Hi SDN

    CA – Perhaps the Cali meat. :-) We will have a special spot for all the bloggers.

  92. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Midwest – you should have come! We had room!

  93. SDinATX says:

    Howdy all! Anything interesting going on?

  94. Midwest says:

    VA SB – Congrats on the future! Yeah!!!

    CA Dreamin – Well, that’s what you get for skiing without me 😛

    JSO – james already suggested that…j/k

  95. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Nope – back home now

  96. JSO - TXSD says:

    ca – are you still sking?

  97. JSO - TXSD says:

    Midwest – wear nothing
    James just kidding
    looking foward to tommrow night

  98. JSO - TXSD says:

    VA SB
    boston sugger baby
    Both very good post

  99. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Midwest – I’m so jealous! I wish I could go!

  100. Midwest says:

    Evening sugar! What to wear tomorrow night??? I’m so excited!

  101. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Evening all – wow – just caught up

    VA SB – the phrase in the commercial is “You’re going to love my nuts” – BEST part of that commercial!

  102. James.m says:

    AM – we will miss you. But, we’ll have a drink or two for you!

  103. Cali SB says:

    Now I’M alone! Okay, off to be productive.. have a wonderful day! :)

  104. Cali SB says:

    I’m here AM. :) I was just dl’ing and listening to my new favorite song. I’m so freaking happy b/c I finally found out what it is! It’s a Spanish hip-hop song so I had no idea what it was since I couldn’t understand it. lol If you’re bored and interested you can find it on utube. Dylan & Lenny – Nadie Te Amara Como Yo.. it’s sooo good! And I actually just translated the lyrics and it’s a beautiful song too. :)

  105. Everybody left me!! BoooHooo :(

  106. I was kidding btw, I’m really not that conceited…LOL

  107. Cali SB says:

    Question for the SBs: Have any of you had a platonic SD/SB relationship? If so, how often did you meet and what was your allowance? I would imagine that non-sexual arrangements have lower allowances so I was just wondering on any experience or opinions on the matter. :)

  108. Cali SB says:

    Just got the other half of my present from my friend back home. He sent me Mario Kart for Wii! :) So Sprinkles cupcakes and video games.. this will do wonders for my figure. lol 😉

  109. Yes, all of you will have a fantastic time. Won’t be as much fun because I’m not going to be there, but it will be fun none the less….LOL :)

    I will be there in spirit though :)

  110. Soo envious – again! I hope you guys all have a great time!!

  111. james.m says:

    Is everyone packing for the “meat” tomorrow? (Is that better, Stephen?)

  112. james.m says:

    How aptly named for a woman with “Mrs. Robinson” syndrome. And why did HE get kicked out of office for her affair?

  113. Sincere ~ Women…..sheesh.

  114. mick says:

    Where can I find me an iris robinson in scotland?

  115. james.m says:

    Sincere: I’m LOL and crying. It is so true. I’ve had the same experience with both a wife and girlfriends. You can’t win.

    Taylor and the other Ladies: Sincere is very correct, however, when he says, “We men have enough problem trying to understand women let alone playing silly mind games with passive-aggressive messages.”
    It’s a little like trying to figure out when “no” means “no” and when “no” means “yes”.

    CaliSB: I actually got my daughter a Chia pet, and she killed it. I thought they were indestructible. They’re really ugly when they are thin and brown.

  116. Cali SB says:

    lol SincereSD! You just can’t win with some women! I just don’t get that though.. as a SB one of the expectations is to NOT act like a typical woman in a dating sense. Not to say that all women act that way, because we don’t, but I’m saying if that IS a woman’s nature, in a SB relationship she needs to know that it’s expected for her to leave it at the door, as is the nature of the “stress relieving, carefree” SB/SD relationship. And if she IS having those feelings still, she should be texting her girlfriends with those questions to get their advice, not bothering you with it. JMHO.

  117. cleo says:

    some women play mercurial in the hopes that keeping you guessing will keep you around.

    i must say those women have a lot more luck than my ‘if i like you i won’t hide it and i’ll want to see you’ approach

  118. SincereSD says:

    Cleo says: taylor i agree with nycsb btw … i never really advocate the passive aggressive stuff but i know some folks where it is the only thing that works.

    Taylor, I agree with killing the passive-aggressive messaging. We men have enough problem trying to understand women let alone playing silly mind games with passive-aggressive messages.

    Case in point here … I was on a date with a SB while we were early in our relationship. She was pouting and lamenting that I only wanted to see her for sex (in my defense, I plead innocence here as we rarely made it into the bedroom bc she was always “happy” to see me). Anyways to prove a point, we went out for dinner and drinks but I left shortly after dropping her off at home. Well that was the wrong thing to do bc she sent a barrage of text messages asking me what was wrong and asking whether I still found her attractive and whether was seeing another woman!

    Damned if I do, damned if i don’t … You can imagine how confused I was! 😡

  119. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    taylor: I agree with cleo and NYC SB, be direct and avoid the passive. He most likely will see right through the subtlety and it may back fire. If he can help you and doesn’t want to the faster you know the better. You can then decide what you want to do.

  120. Cali SB says:

    When I was a kid I used to try to convince my parents to let me buy a Chia Pet for my Grandma for Christmas EVERY YEAR. I told them that I knew she really wanted one. hahaha They never let me get her one though. :(

  121. Cali SB says:

    Oh whoops, I guess I was thinking of NYC SB! I don’t know why I swore your info was on there. Hmm. Sorry about that!

  122. Boston Honey says:

    I just want a Ch Ch Chia Shamwow Pet….

  123. VA SB says:

    OMG! The Slap Chop commercial is hilarious!

    I crack up everything he says “take a look at my nuts” or something like that…..it’s crazy…:-)

  124. Cali SB says:

    I think I will try to freeze some of them. I just started to eat a second one and couldn’t even finish it. I think I’m going into sugar shock! :)

  125. Boston Honey says:

    CALISB I don’t have a blog. I think you meant one of the other SB’s that have a blog.

  126. cleo says:

    calisb you want savoury not sweet is all. also i think you can freeze them?
    sincere i recall those stats, and to be fair the profiles are so much better not in toronto it’s kinda unreal :)
    taylor i agree with nycsb btw… i never really advocate the passive aggressive stuff but i know some folks where it is the only thing that works.

    wish the sds would chime in on this one for you

  127. Ha! I want a slap chop too – gadgets are great lmfao…I am such a guy aren’t I? 😛

  128. Anna Molly *397377* says:

    OMG – Vince reminds me of Popeye in the Shamwow commercial. Have you seen the Slap Chop Rap commercial..soooo corney. Bring on the cheese! LOL.

  129. sb-emy says:

    i’m still waiting on replies from pot SD, it’s taking forever!!

  130. Cali SB says:

    Thanks BH. :) I read your blog last night, I really enjoyed it. I can’t wait to hear the rest of your current story on there. I’d love to find a SD like your first one, lucky girl! :)

  131. james.m says:

    NYC SB – ShamWow or Pearls; Shamwow or Diamonds. You are a great SB!

  132. NYC SB – I want a shamwow!!!

  133. Boston Honey says:

    CaliSB cute profile. I like what you wrote I am sure others will too. Good pics too.

  134. Cali SB says:

    Hi photo!

    I am ADDICTED to the As Seen on TV store! I don’t own much, if any, of the stuff, but I could browse that store for hours! :)

  135. VA SB says:

    Darn – I want a shamwow! Those things look great…..

  136. photogirl says:

    oops… I meant… have you seen.

  137. photogirl says:

    NYC SB – I have no idea why but I am beginning to think you may have a ‘As Seen On TV’ collection soon! And since you make the best brownie’s… you seen the ‘Perfect Brownie Pan’?

    Hello everyone!

  138. Cali SB says:

    Is it weird that I have a box of Sprinkles cupcakes sitting 5 feet away and yet I’m craving cheese Quake rice snacks? I think I need help! haha

  139. NYC SB says:

    Taylor – im willing to bet the passive agressive thing will backfire… if he is a wealthy man he didnt get there by being stupid… im sure he will see right through this and leave bc im sure he doesnt need to deal with petty things like mind games… honesty is best policy… tell him what you need or just continue seeing him because you enjoy his company… sorry if im being harsh but its been a long week already

    in unrelated news broke bf bought me a shamwow… he wanted to get me a gift and this is what he saw at cvs… made me laugh bc unlike the snuggie incident i have always wanted a shamwow and it was kinda cute

    ok back to work…

  140. SincereSD says:

    TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says: no wonder I can’t find a SD here! Sigh…doesn’t that just cheapen the whole experience? I don’t know…to each his own…

    Taz, I suspect your location (and I’m guessing your status) is not helping. In previous searches, I have limited myself to women in immediate GTA area and those who are single.

    We can compare notes offline if you are interested. I had some stats on ontario profiles and odds that I can dig up.

    Cleo says: sinceresd i’m with taz, this explains a lot

    I think these profiles are exceptions. They have all popped up in the last few days but I haven’t gone back to check other profiles.

    In general, I think that the p4p or per meet allowances profiles are a result of several SB getting burnt by (pending) allowance which are promised to be paid later e.g. at the end of 2 weeks or month. These women don’t realize what they’re proposing sets them up unwittingly for vulture SD looking for a one night stand or one time meet.

    Oh well, live and learn!

  141. Cali SB says:

    Mmmm Sprinkiles at the CA meet! Great idea! I just ate one of my cupcakes and I don’t think I could eat a second right now. It’s seriously going to take me like a week to eat 12 cupcakes! They’re not gonna be fresh that long!

  142. Cali SB says:

    Guess it’s cupcakes for breakfast for me!! :)

  143. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Thanks for being willing to share Cali – if you were closer – I’d be over in a second!!! Oooh – maybe we order a few dozen for the CA meet-up!

  144. I want one too!! Please… :)

  145. Cali SB says:

    CA you’re welcome to have more than one! He sent me a dozen! :)

  146. I’m sooo sleepy *yawn*

    I need a nap. :)

  147. Boston Honey says:

    ESB – Scary about your stalker. It can happen anywhere. I think most of us use emails just for SA and the net. However, if someone is determined they can find out anything. If they add that determination with some tech skills such as hacking, tracking IP addresses, and so on they can find out a lot of information in a matter of minutes.

    SA is known for advertising the site for the keywords student loan, escort, how to be an escort. As most businesses are they want to optimize their SEO strategies, click through conversions, and want to dominate the marketplace via meta tags, blogs, youtube, and so… Surely this increases membership. Yet, we now have the debate of quantity vs quality. It is simple, SA is a business trying to make money, increase membership, increase revenues, increase the bottom line. People on SA want to find quality but if the numbers were low people would join another site as we don’t want to see eye candy and fake profiles which most sites us when they start up. a mutual site was sued for using fake profiles and so have some of the other sites for screen scraping and fake profiles. I feel that we all will need to follow due diligence and take our time sourcing potential relationships. My 2 cents on why there are so many fakers, escorts, and professional women on the site..

    Now I just wish I had the idea and had over 100,000 members the first year and thousands more every year.

    Quoted from….CBS News…Are ‘Sugar Daddy’ Sites Prostitution?
    By JOHN STOSSEL, CATHERINE BROSSEAU and ANDREW KIRELL Go Brandon…”Entrepreneur and MIT graduate Brandon Wade, a former Microsoft and GE executive, created Seeking Arrangement three years ago. It’s an odd business for someone with such a buttoned-up background.

    “The inspiration came partially because I was at MIT,” he said. “I was very much a nerd and a geek. I wasn’t very good at the social scene. I was on regular dating Web sites. I would write messages to beautiful women and I would not hear a response, and I understand why.”

  148. CA Dreamin SB says:

    I want a cupcake! Anyone want to send me one? :)

  149. Cali SB says:

    Oh my goodness! I just woke up like 10 minutes ago and had the best surprise at my door just now! One of my friends from home sent me Sprinkles cupcakes to my place! :) :) :) :) :)

  150. Hmmmm, I’ll think about it. Depends on how good he is..lol. :)

  151. Wooohooo! Can you let him out later this evening??

  152. TT ~ Don’t worry I have HL in my cellar and he’s doing just fine..LOL

  153. VA SB says:

    Thanks TT –

    I hope it continues going well…….I’ll be here to tell you ladies and gents all about it either way…

  154. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    CA Dreamin: I am here! I got it, thank you.

  155. HL – LMAO – don’t go into hiding!!!! Nooooo!

    VA SB – congrats :) Wish you and SD sugary happiness!!

    ESB – sorry lol…spicensugar2009 hotmail eek sorry – see I don’t use it everyday lol

  156. cleo says:

    wow, real mail… cool


  157. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Cleo – That’s real mail :) (About the only ‘real’ thing SDN and I have!!!)

  158. cleo says:

    is that real mail or fake mail?

  159. CA Dreamin SB says:

    SDN- If you’re still lurking, you have mail

  160. whatsitgnatake4utobemine says:

    ahhhh m so late on the new blog!!

    Hiii everyone.

    unfortunately i have not found a SD yet in this land hehe but its interesting to read what u guys write!

  161. cleo says:

    ESB i’m sorry that your date was so bad.

  162. ESB says:

    cleo, I meant the nudist guy wasn’t obnoxious. I’ll send the email later on my weekend.

    gotta run!!

  163. ESB says:

    TT: it bounced back.

    OK, let me find the other emails, and I’ll send out one mass bitch session!! lol

    I’ll also send cleo his profile no. He wasn’t obnoxious at all. Just a short message saying he was looking for someone to explore with. Are the email addy’s on this blog? I need to get to work will deal with it when I get home later.

    Have fun Everyone!! HUGS!!

  164. ESB ~ My email is posted here as well :)

  165. cleo says:

    ESB: i’m sorry your date was so bad. feel free to email me if you want to rant, it always helps me when i do so… not to mention i’m all curious :)
    i had a date with a pot i really liked, like a lot… but i think he’s ‘just not that into me’

    too bad.

  166. cleo says:

    No, I suggest you go to a reputable agency because the escorts will be screened and likely not alcoholics or drug addicts… or at least not on drugs at work. no one is screeing the escorts working SA. that’s all i meant.

    that and, in the case of the one madam i know anyway, if she caught you talking about her clients she’d fire you on the spot.
    ok back to the scroll.
    ESB: i like nude beaches… just how obnoxious is he?

  167. ESB says:

    SDN: Thank you. I know there is. IF it weren’t for this blog, I would have came home and deleted myself from the sight. The people on here give me hope that this will work for me.

    AM: You are so thoughtful and kind. We need more people like you on this blog. Thanks! You make me laugh.

    CA: I just can’t give any details on here. Wouldnt’ be right. He deserves his privacy, but I would really like to blow off more steam.

    I talked to my BFF all the way from the airport last night. He was in stitches laughing at me. Mostly cause when I am “mad” (understatement) I swear like a drunken sailor. Not my usual mode of communication. My flight being delayed and getting home at 1:30 AM didnt’ help my mood any either.

    OK, enough ranting. I’ll be fine. It wasn’t that bad, we had a nice meal at a nice resteraunt, had some laughs…. just wasn’t what I expected. I’ll be fine in a day or 2. :0 I always bounce back. :)

  168. VA SB says:

    Hey Everyone – just checking in. Interesting posts since I last logged in.

    Oh yeah, I’m sure escorts see this (SA) as a easy market to find someone to pay them for meeting, sex, etc. Sad thing is, it can give potential SDs a sour taste since you don’t really know who is an escort and who isn’t – not without talking with them first. People can get “tired” and simply not want to waste anymore time. Hopefully it doesn’t last too long.

    IRLSD – gosh, if only you were into black women….well, black women who aren’t 22 nor do they were a size 4 – it would be a perfect match!!! :-)

    So, I have a potential SD whom I met this weekend. Definitely likes my curves….very into me. Chemistry is there and he’s a nice guy. Gave me half my allowance…said he wanted to since we’d been talking a lot by phone. We’re planning on seeing each other next week to see if we really want to enter into an arrangement, but it’s looking good so far.


  169. Hi HL :) I have been absent the last few days you have been around – glad to have caught up with you :)

  170. ESB – ..no worries to any lurkers, bloggers or otherwise – this email is also set up for blog purposes ONLY. 😀

  171. Happy Lurker says:

    Two girls in one package ?
    Never works out.
    I used to turn for advice on SBs to my SA angel Angela.
    Never see her on the blog any more, I am sad to say.
    Anyway she explained that in such a set up of two girls, they are bi ….
    But also here there are gradations, you can lean towards men, but also towards women. So there is a whole minefield of aggression possible.
    Usually one of them let herself be drawn into such a set/up, but does not really wish to be there, out of her own accord.
    By the nature of things it will always work out miserable.
    It is a snakepit.
    Don´t tumble into it.

  172. CA Dreamin SB says:

    AM – I’m nosey too! I want to know and it’s SO hard not to ask!!! :) But don’t worry ESB – I’ll keep my ‘nosey’ in check!

  173. ESB – you shouldn’t have told ANYTHING – NOW I am dying to know!! Way to go AM 😛 lol…

    SDN – I am right often?? Lol…wanna tell this to anyone in my REAL life??? Lmao…

  174. SDN ~ Nope, just the three of us..LOL

  175. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Nosy Molly: Are you a fourth sister?

    JSO: “I emailed two girls(they are a package)”, you were just curious? Who you lying to? LOL…just yanking your chain my friend.

    ESB: Doesn’t sound like the good kind of hotel time…sorry to hear that, good news is there is a wonderful SD waiting for you!

  176. ESB says:

    Lets just say I spent more time in my hotel room than with him. ??? I’m going to be nice and shut up now.

  177. Practical SA User says:

    You have your escort sbs and your relationship sbs.

    They all serve a purpose.

  178. ESB ~ Sorry to hear that. Don’t worry..I won’t press you for details even though I want to….LOL. I’m so nosey :)

    Nude beaches? Um, no thank you :)

    Congrats on the new pots..hopefully one of them will work out for you :)

  179. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Hey all…lurking and working.

    I think that all of the explanations for escorts on SA are probably correct, and as usual Taz is right that they are on every site and in the real world – or so I am told.

    I don’t believe every pay2play girl is an escort. We have discussed some of the reasons an SB would want to be on pay2play in recent blog topics. Also I am sure some of them have been cheated by fake SDs that will send the monthly allowance “tomorrow” but want to begin the relationship tonight.

  180. Welcome back ESB – glad to hear from you – I was wondering about you :) Sorry to hear it did not work out…but am a tad envious of being thawed 😛

  181. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Morning all –
    ESB – sorry it didn’t work out!

  182. ESB says:

    Hello Sugar family!! I’m back from my trip. The best part of it was I got to thaw out for a few days…how sad is that? Lets just say, it didn’t work out, end of subject, REALLY don’t want to talk about it, and the search is back on. On the up side, I had 2 emails on the sight today from 2 new pots. I think the one I’m going to pass on, he wants someone totally uninhibited, as in going to nude beaches, sooo not me. If anyone is interested, he’s really handsome, I’ll send you his link! 😉

  183. If you don’t take the time to know what they are truly seeking they can be..as with any site you may use Practical…same on the other side of the fence of course…

    Hi AM :)

  184. Practical SA User says:

    Wow? Are SA girls really THAT bad???

  185. cleo says:

    Practical if i were going to hire an escort i’d suggest a reputable high-end agency before a girl off SA

  186. Hi there Practical SA User :)
    How are you today?

  187. Practical SA User says:

    SA is over run with escorts these days. Unfortunately when you call them escorts they attack you viciously.

    Just keep a few SA escorts in your little black book for when you need them.

  188. cleo says:

    AM truly i don’t either, that was all i could imagine

  189. Not from you JSO, from the two girls..LOL

  190. I don’t understand the hatefulness. I really don’t.

    How is everybody?

  191. JSO - TXSD says:

    not worried about it. was curious if they were having any luck with it.
    was just aggreeing with a previous post about the fact there does seem to be alot of escorts on sa now

  192. cleo says:

    jso i suspect they took your comments to mean you thought they were escorts… but i’m only saying that based on the strength of their response to you

  193. It is too bad JSO b/c that is what the growing expectation is among both sides sadly…

    I have no idea…you are asking the wrong SB’s I think…

  194. cleo says:

    taylor be very careful how you phrase such things, your way sounds a little like you’re blowing him off. like you would rather not see him.

    be careful with the passive aggressive stuff, it has been known to blow up in one’s face…
    sinceresd i’m with taz, this explains a lot

  195. JSO - TXSD says:

    Also did they go negitive on their response to me because all they are getting is the pay each meet guys sending them really wild emails?

  196. JSO - TXSD says:

    For fun the other day I emailed two girls(they are a package) and asked if they were getting much of a response with the two girl thing. they emailed me back and asked how my search was going. Told them not well. So far just escorts emailing me(true).
    They emailed and said I was a pyscho and a poser(had to call a buddies teenager to find out what that was((not good)). Said I would never get lucky and everyone is stupied.
    I hope they did not put a curse on me.
    My point is this. Have young women that would normal be strippers(nothing wrong with that and not judging) getting on SA because of the down economy and not really have any idea what this is all about.
    Hence the pay for play on each meet?

  197. Morning Sugar Fam!!

    Sincere – no wonder I can’t find a SD here! Sigh…doesn’t that just cheapen the whole experience? I don’t know…to each his own…

  198. Taylor says:

    I kind of like the passive agressive thing…. i.e. dropping hints.

    “I’d love to spend more time with you next week, but I have to get some more job applications out there! This economy is such a buzz-kill, isn’t it? I can’t wait for things to turn around, my career to pick up and sustain me, so I can just jaunt off and play with you whenever the mood strikes us!”

    ya know?

  199. Good morning Sincere. Wow, that is a huge shock to me! I wonder why things have taken a turn in this direction?

  200. SincereSD says:

    Good morning AM.

    My post is related to the previous blog topic. I was scanning SA profiles in my area and am shocked at the number of “p4p” or “per arrangement” profiles. 5 of the first 20 profiles were of this nature. I guess these women don’t read the blog. The SDs in Ontario could have some serious fun. I’ve attached the profiles below:

    Im looking for something on-going or NSA im open to hear what you have in mind but please be blunt and up front not into endless emails – I would like a per meeting arrangement and also i would like to hear your per meeting allowance please. thanks! meow xoxo

    Arrangement I am Seeking
    Description: Per meeting allowance.

    Im looking for something on-going or NSA im open to hear what you have in mind but please be blunt and up front not into endless emails – I would like a per meeting arrangement and also i would like to hear your per meeting allowance please. thanks! meow xoxo

    Im looking for a per meeting type of arrangement my gf steered me to this site and has had experience and has told me this method works the best.

    I would like an allowance each time we met – Im interested in hearing your arrangements – be up front i dont like wasting time – so just come out n say what you want and what your budget is thanks :)

  201. Good morning everyone! Having my coffee and trying to wake up.

    HL ~ You have email coming soon :)

  202. Happy Lurker says:

    Welcome to the wonderful world of Sugar !
    You see, I just practised what I preached Anna Molly.
    This opening line sets a nice tone.
    Aussie SB might recognise it, since there is an Australian Rex Hunt who has a fishing programme on Discovery.
    He always started with : Hi folks, welcome to the wonderful world of fishing. He is so unbelievably influential.
    Often he was catching a tropical fish called Barramundi. So many people wanted to taste that fish that today we find it in a fish stall at the market place. Amazing isn’t it !
    Aletheia, just love your name.
    So well chosen.
    It is derived from the Greek word THE TRUTH.
    It made me spend some time on the philosophy of truth from Aristotle to St Augustine. I thank you for that.
    Yes, I am always positive and optimistic. Why not ?!
    And if you are optimistic, you radiate confidence.
    People love to be near you.
    It is a real asset for business, but also in my busy private life.
    By the way, anybody else interested in developing culinary writing ?
    You are welcome to join the “e-learning class”.
    Several people here know how to reach me.
    Just drop me a line and I will be happy to support you.

  203. Cali SB says:

    Text doesn’t even exist to me anymore.. everything is blurring together! I think that means it’s time for some shuteye! Night sugars! :)

  204. cleo says:

    nyc sb 2 he links his profile from here, you should be able to find it with a click

  205. nycsb #2 says:

    Moon Patrol:

    what’s your email?

  206. cleo says:

    cali when i was still swimming competitively i would stop at mcd’s on my way home from practise, get 2 large fries and a shake and eat it on the way home to have dinner!

    i think i ate 4000 calories a day and had a 22 inch waist

  207. Cali SB says:

    Oh so randomness.. today I was working at a sporting store for an event and the goofy actor (whose name I don’t know without looking up) from Step Brothers, Taladega Nights, and For Love of the Game came into the store. He looks exactly the same (disshelved) in person. haha :) His kids were cute and friendly.

  208. Cali SB says:

    Speaking of weird potato chip addictions.. when I was younger and played sports like a fiend I would come home from my games and eat Lays original chips dipped in huge gobs of JIF. It was delicious and I would eat a container of peanut butter in like 2 days, but it sounds so gross to think about it now! I guess that’s why I get crazy cravings for broccoli nowadays! :)

  209. Cali SB says:

    Oh trust me, I have bad addictions too.. like loads of chocolate and doritos and bacon and chili. :) But I get really weird major cravings for like broccoli and rice snacks, which I suppose is good! I’m just so thirsty right now it’s crazy and I finished the last of my Quakes. I have chocolate ones in the cupboard, but I only had a hankering for the cheese ones. MMMMM!!!

  210. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Well goodnight everyone – I actually do have large dogs – one without any particular affinity for those outside known friends. :) Out with the dogs one more time then hitting the sack!

  211. cleo says:

    wow even your addictions are healthy

    i have a severe addiction to bacon and potato chips

    um, not together

  212. Cali SB says:

    hahaha They’re probably both just about as useful as each other considering my dog is sleeping with her tongue hanging out near the door right now. Actually, she does make a pretty good door stop to keep out the cool air (not that we’ve had any recently here in CA, thank goodness!).

    My gosh, I have a SEVERE addiction to Coke Zero (regular or cherry) and cheese Quakes rice snacks!!

  213. cleo says:

    cali lolol i read that guard poRn instead of guard poM


  214. Cali SB says:

    Stalkers are scary stuff! I can’t even imagine having one, especially if you’re a female living alone! :(

    Thankfully, I have my guard Pom to protect me! haha :)

  215. Beach_Girl says:

    TXSB~ No I did it here now… I didn’t think I would have a problem with him again… but.. you never know, just paranoid I guess..

  216. TXSB says:

    Hi Beach, Cali, Cleo, CA Dreamin and anyone else who’s on!

    You also had your profile linked here before right?

  217. cleo says:

    hi cali :)
    beach i always wonder about the line. i used to be totally paranoid when i first got online because it was the early nineties and women on the internet were incredibly rare.

    we didn’t admit to city and often pretended to be men.

    these days, with your privacy just hanging out there on facebook and the like the internet doesn’t feel so dangerous. that doesn’t mean that it isn’t.

    that said, as far as i can tell all you can do is pretty good privacy, the same way all you can do is be pretty secure about your data. in other words we are all safe enough from most of the people in the world but i suspect any regular blogger, no matter how careful, could be found by someone determined enough.

    so i wrestle with it… always. the same way i wrestle with whether to walk the shorter more deserted way or the longer more populous/better lit way. that decision is usually determined by the time of day and teh area i’m in … but like anything else, you take the best care you can and then you hope not to attract the crazy people’s attention.

    i wonder if this wouldn’t make a great blog topic.

  218. Beach_Girl says:

    Cleo~ YES!
    That is why I do not give out my email, if I want to share it, I ask Stephan.
    You should all do that! it’s very easy to find someone… trust me… It is Scary and still is!

  219. cleo says:

    beach – and you had a seperate blog email and were relatively careful and he found you just like that?

  220. Beach_Girl says:

    Cleo~ he got my email here, my handle and all that I have said and use it to find me…. Apparently it’s not hard from what the cops told me!

    CaliSB~ lucky girl I hear it was 80 there today! Hopefully I will be back soon!!! Welcome back to the blog!!!

  221. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Hey Cali – slow night on the blog

  222. Cali SB says:

    Testing out spacing with the SN.. maybe my eyes are just tired.

    Hi OC, Taz, Midwest, Cleo, AM, Beach, CA, TXSB! :)

  223. CaliSB says:

    Hello sugars! It’s been some time since I’ve posted (I don’t lurk when I’m not posting either) so I’ve missed out on quite a bit, I’m sure. Hope everyone had a fabulous New Year!

    My New Year’s resolution is to find a great SD, so I’ve decided to link to my profile now on my SN (which I tweeked just a bit.. adding 2 letters anyway, because it sounds more girly :)). It’s so hard to be seen in LA that I figured a little exposure on the blog couldn’t hurt. Afterall, if and when I find a SD and or any pot’s I resolve not to blog about it here (or anywhere for that matter) — my posts on the blog are solely to talk to the great people that come here and to offer advice and/or amusement whenever I can. :)

  224. cleo says:

    beach girl: seriously? a stalker found you from the blog? can you tell us how you were found? do you know?

  225. TXSB says:

    How does negotiation and chemistry factor in to how intimate you are with a sugar?

    1. I wouldn’t agree to an arrangement if I didn’t feel chemistry with the SD.
    2. I don’t become intimate unless at least half the allowance has been paid.

    I’m here for a SD…not a BF. In a dating situation, (ie. pot BF), I would follow my hormones. However, in the sugar dating world, in my experience it’s best to follow your brain and leave emotions out of it. The SD would not be with me if he didn’t find me attractive…I won’t be with him if he can’t/won’t pay my allowance. At the end of the day…these are “arrangements”, not a situation purely based on “emotions” or “chemistry”.

    SincereSD: How do the rest of you handle seeing people you know when on a sugar date?

    I have not had to deal with this situation so far. But I suppose I have no problem introducing the SD as my “date”….I’m single so it won’t cause any “alarm” to the people who know me. And yes, I’m also known to date older men IRL among my close friends so again…nothing out of the ordinary there.

    Do you have any sugar dates or meets planned?

    Nope. Been busy with other random things the past few days. “SD Search” kinda got put on hold.

  226. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Goodnight Midwest

  227. Midwest says:

    Goodnight sugars! Sweet dreams!

  228. CA Dreamin SB says:

    You too AM

  229. I’m headed off to bed….just wanted to stop by and see what everyone was up to. Have a good evening!

  230. Glad you had a good time skiing :)

  231. Yes..it is verrry cold…sigh.

  232. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Hi AM! Still freezing tonight?

  233. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    I feel the same lol! Glad to hear you had a good time sweetie!!

  234. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Taz – I’m here – whenever everybody disappears, assume either Midwest or I showed up :)

  235. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Figures. The one night I am HERE, on the blog – no one else is here!!

    Anyone here???..

  236. Aletheia mSB says:

    How does negotiation and chemistry factor in to how intimate you are with a sugar?
    Negotiations never factor in as I do not negotiate! Chemistry is a must but is not the only prerequisite. I tend to have chemistry with anyone I want to have chemistry with so intimacy is based solely on how truly safe I feel with a person. Even if I want to sleep with someone I will refrain unless I see that there is a future of some sort and that they can be trusted in all meanings of the word.

    How do the rest of you handle seeing people you know when on a sugar date?
    I would only ever be going out with one person at any given time so I would be comfortable with introducing them by their name, as a family friend, or a boyfriend depending on what the person wanted. If people I know are disturbed by my interest in older men it is not really my problem so I am not inclined to worry about what people think. As far as the discussion on PDA: I have never been a fan of PDA but it is possible this means I have never felt comfortable enough with the right person.

    Do you have any sugar dates or meets planned?
    Not at the moment, no.

    I think the need to avoid someone is derived from guilt, however, it is much harder to say why this person is feeling guilty. Hmm..I am Canadian, and can be fairly passive aggressive (although I am working on this)…maybe you are on to something here!

    Happy Lurker:
    I must commend you on your posts. You exude confidence and you always seem so cheerful, it is inspiring.

  237. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Midwest – thanks for asking! It was FRIGID! I looked like a ninja on skiis. BUT – still had a great time. I’ve missed everyone on the blog!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Hahah Midwest, I am still finding pine needles everywhere!
      CA Dreamin we have missed you too :)
      Thanks Beach, not to worry sugar we SB’s can form a posse around you for protection.
      Nite everyone! Sweet sugar days ahead for all :)

  238. Midwest says:

    Ca Dreamin – How were the slopes?

  239. Midwest says:

    ATX – Very nice to see you again! Congrats on the sugar! Any chance the two of you will be coming to the meet?

    JSO, DaddyzGirl, BG, and OC – Hi!

    Christmas has left my house :-( I like all the decorations.

  240. MoonPatrol says:

    Does anyone know of any stories of women in the 22 and up range that were able to be good sugar babes? I’m asking is it a rare bird or are times now where love and affection can create trust and responsibility for even young adults?

  241. JSO - TXSD says:

    good evening everyone.

  242. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Evening all – back from the slopes and warming up!

  243. Beach_Girl says:

    Hi everyone!

    About emails… I TOTALLY agree with OC, Be careful… That is how I got my stalker and It WAS and Still IS scary!!! Just ask Stephan to send you the email

    SDinATX~ Congrats on the SB YAY 😀

    Midwest ~ see you soon 😀

    Talk to you all soon…

  244. SDinATX says:

    Interesting blog topics…

    “How does negotiation and chemistry factor in to how intimate you are with a sugar? ”

    Well seeing as how my experience is on the short side, this might not be normal. I’ve only had one real SB, and that is ongoing and still quite new. We were all over each other before the end of the night of our first meeting. There was definitely attraction there.

    “How do the rest of you handle seeing people you know when on a sugar date?”

    I can’t go anywhere in my town without getting recognized, so I’ve already had to deal with this. I introduce them, and they assume me with a good looking woman is a gf/date/whatever. I’ve got nothing to hide, no gf, no wife, so no big deal.

    “Do you have any sugar dates or meets planned? ”

    Yep, this weekend.

  245. DaddiezGyrl says:

    I am from the Bay Area, and if seen with my SD while out, I either say he is a classmate from school, or someone I am interviewing for a school research paper/assignment, depending on where we’re seen! =]

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      There have been instances where some of your fellow sugars have had stalkers or unwanted attention from posting their email addresses on the blog. Even if you feel safe it may just give seedy individuals the open door to walk thru.
      However in the name of sugar solidarity… I tried to just pass on a tried and true safety measure request.

  246. Midwest says:

    MP – I cannot speak for others, but I can say that tough economic times meant tough decisions for me…selling my lake house, moving closer to town, buying a less expensive car I could pay for outright, etc. This was after bank layoff #3. It also meant changing careers at a paycut of 25%. All this turned out to be the best thing that could happen to me. Yes, I would like to have the nicer things, but there are other priorities at this time. I now need a quick plan for retirement as the long term plan took some steps backward. Other than that, I have a lot less stress, I love my new career, get more family time and believe there was/is a better plan for me. My SD has made some things so much better financially and otherwise :-) What I won’t do is randomly use some guy just because he’s too sweet and generous to think I won’t abuse him. Does that offer any insight?

    I’ll bet that was a rhetorical question :-)

  247. Gail says:

    Afternoon Midwest~Lisa and I are being silly : ) it is a true story my VS was really redirected and sent to the old man by UPS.

    Cleo~I agree with you safety is important, but the blog should continue to evolve and change. It doesn’t have to be the way it was before…. Individuals have been responsible and are taking the measures to ensure their saftey and privacy on their own.

    SBLA Lurker~Welcome : )

  248. MoonPatrol says:

    How many sugar babies do you think Bill Gates has? If he’s just with the wife its a shame.

  249. MoonPatrol says:

    Midwest How much control does the individual have over Tough economic times? I’m trying to view the world as perfect as it is. Remember natives in the bahamas saw Chris Columbus’ ships on the horizon, but in their minds they saw only the sea and horizon. They could,t imagine anything like ships being out there. What you believe becomes your reality. I’m trying to believe my self with someone hot like say Winona Ryder or Ashley Judd.

  250. Hi Midwest! Wasn’t that a fantastic idea HL had! He is a sweetie :)

  251. Midwest says:

    FakeRich – Welcome! I have not had someone contacting me from SA to conduct a survey.

    E-mails – The one I give out is strictly for SA. My safety has not been compromised.

    HL and Anna – What a fabulous idea!

    FantasticBlonde -Hi and Wecome!

    Gail and Lisa – you may be onto something! It requires a small investment up front, but it’s very targeted marketing…well done!

    Hi to Cleo, Taz, OC and SBLA!

  252. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Gail they usually have a phone number on the labels in case the UPS guy has trouble finding your adress. Very clever using UPS instead of SA to meet your sd. Better hurry though as he’s old. Maybe he’s a super old male sugarbaby and is dressed up in your lingerie right now, lol

  253. Gail says:

    Afternoon everyone…I just woke up from my afternoon nappie….looks like its been calm, and safe here.

    Lisa~Tacky?….no, just desperate measures in these tough economic times….they put phone numbers on the shipping labels?….oh my!!! lol : ) I will let you know what happens when he calls. (jk)

  254. cleo says:

    does the blog have to stay exactly as it always was? a seeming majority of current posters seem utterly content posting their blogs/profiles/emails here… i see no reason it can’t evolve.

    my understanding of the reasoning behind the inability to post links has always been that it’s a spam prevention measure…

  255. Blurred or cropped ‘properly’ and tastefully – either can be nice IMO :) I have both, but decided not to bother using them. As much as I would HATE for a family member to recognize me – they were here too right?! Haha – I am even linked to the blog – thanks to BG 😛

    Missed you fam!! Hopefully I will be more active on the blog again – I have been keeping up..catching up – but by the time I read it the conversations are waaaay over 😛

  256. Anna Molly *397377* says:

    BB typos. Sorry….LOL

  257. Anna Molly *397377* says:

    I don’t know abou the blurring thing…I’ve never tried it. I hve to be very careful as I too live in a small community so I crop my photos. I would be interested in a SD’s opinion on this subject too.

    Would SD’s rather see photos that have been blurred or cropped?

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      SD NEOhio it is not my request it is a very long standing safety and privacy standard that has always been around. Why don’t you email SA and ask them about your meet ups.
      Cleo and AM it is not about a comfort level with posting your email. Just a very good and forward thinking safety and privacy request that the blog has always had. Hence the non-ability to post your email or web links without skewing it. I think your idea of a separate blog email is a very good idea! Just send your email request to SA and your email will be sent to the person you request.
      SBLA no I do not have an association with SA other than wanting the blog to run smoothly and clog free. But who doesn’t want that!

  258. FantasticBlonde says:

    Well, I my profile was approved. My profile number is 427621.

    What do you think? Should I really consider blurring my photos? I posted mine without blurring them.

    Like someone mentioned, San Diego is a relatively small community.

    Pros – Cons – to blur or not to blur, that is the question.

    Thanks in advance.

  259. SBLA Lurker says:

    OCSugarbaby seems like you work for SA. Do you?

  260. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Good afternoon

    Gail I have to call you out and say how tacky of you to stoop to such desperate measures to find an sd than to send lingerie to an 89 year old man, lol Maybe he will find you phone number on the shipping label and ask you to come over and model everything, lol

  261. cleo says:

    i guess to me i feel like i should be allowed to be responsible for my own safety and that asking stephan to email people for me is kinda silly

  262. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    OCSugarbaby: I appreciate your request for keeping email addresses off the blog and helping with safety and privacy. What about our dinner meets and having a special email for those like I have done with midwestmeet? Seems like a non sequitur.

  263. 2Chic says:

    Hi AM, pretty good thanks for asking, and hope all is good with you. Looks like you found yourself some great lingerie .. 😉

    Cleo… yes I feel safe with the email I made for the blog as well. No weird emails so far… lol.

    OC… hi, hope all is well.

  264. Cleo ~ I have an email set up just for SA so I don’t feel uncomfortable posting it here.

  265. cleo says:

    i feel pretty safe posting an email address that i made up for this blog on this blog. is that just me?

  266. 2Chic says:

    Afternoon Sugas!

  267. OC ~ Very true, but I have been seeing email flying around here like crazy. You should have said something before now. Funny, the first time I do it and I get called out on it…LOL

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Good Morning Anna it is not mine to enforce. It is up to everyone here that posts to understand the request for safety and privacy. Yea it has gotten a bit wild over the past few months. Ever notice that you have to fudge your email address to get it to post? It has always been a blog request to keep them out of your posts. They can be shared off line, it is not like you can’t email someone. Maybe everyone will take note and help the blog stay safe :)

  268. HL ~ It does appeal to me Thank you so much….you are sweetheart :)

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Techincally there aren’t supposed to be email addresses shared here. I think if you want to have someone have your email address you can just email Stephan at SA and he can share your’s with the person you ask to have it. This keeps things safe and private.

  269. Happy Lurker says:

    Anna Molly,
    It is very simple.
    For this year I am busy on a project.
    I spent time in France with some people that have a small hotel.
    For many years I stayed at a B&B in Scotland.
    Calum the owner had a saying “your stay should be memorable”.
    Guests came there on the first day of their holidays and spent the last day there is well. The food made it a memorable experience.
    So I am taking time to create a cookery book for my friends in France.
    On the last day guests are presented with this book.
    A great gesture to remember the place and come back.
    I am gift daddy, you know.
    So why not make an English version for you.
    The Anna Molly cookery book.
    I will mentor you to write a culinary column, and start you on a new career.
    Your culinary column always opens with the line
    You know how to reach me, if my suggestion appeals to you.
    Sorry no flirting.

  270. FakeRich ~ I’ve never had that happen…

  271. HL ~ I have thought about writing my own recipe book. I have so many yummy recipes that have been handed down through my family for maybe even two or three books, LOL…maybe it’s something I should work on. :)

    Hmmm, if I didn’t know any better I would think you were flirting with me…..wishful thinking?

  272. FakeRich says:

    Has anyone been called by someone claiming to work for Seeking Arrangement conducting a survey?

  273. Happy Lurker says:

    Anna Molly,
    Your own restaurant. Good !
    Call it TOI ET MOI.
    It sets the tone for a nice evening.
    However, there is not much money to be made in cooking itself.
    Most chefs start to earn from their cookery book.
    So you had better start from there.
    How is your writing on food.
    Why not become a culinay writer to newspaper or magazine and tribute weekly. That also earns well.
    Ever thought of it ?
    Naughty Anna, “your honour I protest. Where is all this leading to “.
    Objection overruled.

  274. Lizzy says:

    Hi Fantastic Blonde welcome and very cool that you are ANOTHER Cali girl! Are you planning on posting a picture? If you are, consider not showing your full identity. San Diego is a very small community. You can always send them another picture of yourself via email once you feel comfortable with them. Lizzy :)

  275. HL ~ Your assumption would be correct! It is my dream :)

  276. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Anna Molly exactly, I think I support the Taylor in town lol.

  277. Happy Lurker says:

    Hi Anna Molly,
    This thread is called Assumptions.
    Now tell me if I am wrong.
    I vaguely remember you are into cooking and you wish to be a chef.
    Possibly have you own restaurant.
    Is my assumption correct ?

  278. cleo says:

    AM i’m a medium shirt but i’m 5’11 so the sleeves never fit. it’s why i have SO many tanks/t’s/cute 3/4 sleeve things… i don’t want to buy a large just so the arms will be long enough. i do though if the shoulders are too narrow because that looks bad (though that usually means it’s too big in the waist)

  279. cleo says:

    Taylor: the only other option (and it’s very canadian aka passive aggressive) is to start worrying that you can’t go with him because you need to be looking for work due to your need to be financially responsible for yourself.

    i’ve done that with people who want to text “i’m sorry but it wouldn’t be fiscally responsible for me to have a cell phone and a land line and i need the land line”

  280. SRH ~ I completely understand your frustration! I get so stressed out when I go to buy clothes. It’s so hard for me to find shirts that fit. If they fit in the chest they’re too big everywhere else and vice versa….UGH!

  281. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Good morning all

    Happy Lurker I will have to check it out also. It is so hard to find these things to fit me. I have very large chested and I swear they make these thing for a size B cup. They fit every where else but in the chest ughhh it is so frustrating!

  282. Thanks NYC SB 😉

    HL ~ Checked out the lingerie and my oh my…nice stuff 😉

  283. NYC SB says:

    AM – you definitely don’t need the implants… you aren’t full of yourself… you are just blessed with nice looking big boobies… not that I was checking you out or anything lol

    Taylor – email him and get this straightened out… you are financially stressed and his promise of “contributions” is leading you to imagine all things great but also you know how uncertain this is. Here is what I would write

    “I am looking forward to our date! I know you don’t want to discuss money but there are some things that are unsettling to me given my current financial situation. I joined SA in hopes that I find someone great that will ease my financial burdens as well as mentor me. You told me that you are ok with making contributions and are uncomfortable talking money. I am as well which is why I want to get this resolved as quickly as possible. I want to start off by saying that if I am in a better financial position I would absolutely see you without any allowance (hopefully once I get a job or my business starts up this can happen sooner rather than later). However as things stand right now I am unable to do so. I need some clarity on what I could expect from you in terms of “contributions.” This way I can stop being financially stressed and focus on having a great time with you!”

    I have had to do this to some extent as my current SD is really more of a “BF” who happens to pay my bills. Terms of our arrangement were “I will pay your monthly expenses” so then I itemized them for him and told him the same thing that’s in the email I am suggesting you to write (except I did it face to face… that was tough). After which he wrote me a check.

    IRLSD – “With my previous SB, I kept my SA account going and would log on to keep in touch with some people from the blog and to provide profile advice and not to look for a replacement for my SB. She also kept her account open and would tell me that she would browse SD profiles, but when she saw that I renewed my membership, she was *pissed*.”

    im confused! Since you started posting on the blog you haven’t had a steady sb… so then what was your previous handle?

    Also… my offline emails with SBs have started off as them seeing advice on stuff they don’t want to post on the blog and have now transitioned to friendship like emails about our every day life… hardly gossip at all

  284. Gail says:

    They expect me to wait till Monday…so I can be transferred to another department, which will go back to the 89 year old man and ask for the package back…and if they don’t get it back they will call VC, let them know it was their error and get a new order sent to me. I doubt if the fella will give it back….its pretty nice stuff : ) 3 sets of new lingerie….he is probably touching them now….: ( ok….off to do the other exciting things I have planned today : (

    Have a great day everyone AM and Cleo. By the way AM your hair looks terrific!!!

  285. cleo says:

    AM: i know right? he seems so excellent!

    HL thanks for telling about those brands, i’ll look them up next time i’m in europe
    gail what does ups propose to do about this?

  286. HL ~ You don’t have to bring lingerie. The chance to meet you would be a gift in and of itself :)

  287. Gail says:

    HL….Its is a bleak morning here…found out last nite that UPS deliverd my Victoria Secret order to where I lived 6 years ago. They put it on the doorstep for the 89 year old man that bought my house : (
    And my Tranny needs an oil change, along with my clothes needs plenty of sudsing and a hot warm dryer to spin in: (

  288. Thank you HL…I will certainly do that 😉

    You are such a sweetie!

  289. Happy Lurker says:

    Hi Anna Molly,
    Just read up all the postings and saw your predicament about VC and such. Over here there is a lady called Marlies Dekkers who has her very succesfull lingery line.
    She is fighting for market leadership with another one called Saphh Lingery.
    End of November a survey was published that today’s women tend to have larger sizes that the previous generation.
    Saphh Lingery immediately saw the light and came out with a line of lingery for the larger endowned ladies.
    We now have giant billboards beside the higways showing some girls with real umphhhh in winter lingery.
    Catchy advertising should be humurous and this certainly is.
    The slogan for their new lingery line reads.
    It is the talk ofr the town.
    Have a look at the website, there might be something you like.
    Let me know and I will swim across and bring it to you.
    Naughty Anna might not like it, but …….

  290. Gail says:

    Good Morning Cleo and AM~

    My name is Gail, and I am a blog addict….sometimes… : )

  291. cleo says:

    am: it’s not just you :)

  292. Of course, I’m just super addicted… :)

  293. The blog is so slow on the weekends…LOL

  294. How is everyone this fine morning? :)

  295. Taylor says:

    I am just going to shrug and pursue a traditional relationship with this guy for awhile and not expect any money, and if some appears, then great, and if not, i’m going to trust him that help in other ways is coming, like networking, since he already knows that my top priority is getting an income stream happening after a long stretch of unemployment. He has indicated he would be glad to pull strings for me, as well as boost my efforts to pursue my own start-up, and I trust he will follow through if I just give him time to do so. If, in a month’s time, after we’ve had an entire week together, still nothing has happened, I’ll bring it up. I do not think he imagines me to be desperate, needy, or entitled, as I’ve been careful to just explore the chemistry side and have fun, to start with, and expect nothing. On the contrary, he thinks I’m unbelievably cool. But looking towards a hypothetical future, he’d better do all he can to forward my life in the right direction, if he wants to stay in my good graces. He’s a smart man. He’ll figure it out.

  296. cleo says:

    well let’s see, boston honey – hi sweetie, what would you tell midwest about easing her muscles for next day trainer soreness? – moon patrol – irlsd – michelle maybe – me…

    evening btw

  297. moonpatrol says:

    Got to go. Dreams of grassy meadows!

  298. 2Chic says:

    who is still up is what I meant to say.

  299. cleo says:

    MP wouldn’t it be nice if that was an SA checkbox?

  300. moonpatrol says:

    Not interested in ons.

  301. Boston Honey says:

    Originally my profile was very very different and I think I determined after him and others who prey on newbies…because he was so persistent and I deleted my first profile but kept in touch only with him for a few months via email where he did share quite a bit and he kept saying that he only wanted to talk to me and was hoping out of anyone that it would work out with me…. of course I fell for that one…hook, line and sinker…duh… LOL.

    He also went on to say that if I wanted a traditional SB/SD relationship ever that I should consider his offer as his last SB was for over 2 years and was wonderful. I sure have learned a lot, quickly in a short amount of time on here. I have changed my strategic plan drastically since then. However, he did always use his name, his company, and shared his pics… He has a nice jet and a really awesome doggie….I love animals… Oh well, we live and learn right? NEXT….

  302. 2Chic says:

    Hi All You Sugas,

    Who still up?

  303. cleo says:

    BH yeah i went out with one who was all “i want a friendship first and anything after that is just gravy” and then he pressed me to come back to his hotel and didn’t call (acted like he was smitten in one night though and really didn’t like my refusal to return to his hotel.)

  304. cleo says:

    MoonPatrol if you decide to do that go find a classy high end escort not a woman who creeps you out.

    and i know some seriously hot escorts

  305. Boston Honey says:

    Moon Patrol – I hope I didn’t offend you? I didn’t mean it as nice guy crap…. I meant it as a compliment – you are nice and I find that very attractive. I am sure that you have worked extremely hard to be where you are today and you should enjoy everything that life has to offer, to the fullest extent! I just want you to have an amazing SB experience as I believe that you have mentioned that you almost have given up. Maybe you should change your offering to open and reasonable and see where it goes? I would be spooked too well, I was with Mr. CEO who sure did a bait and switch with upfront texts for anal sex, deep throat, threesomes, foursomes and so on…hmmmph….are you kidding me? And I love this one, “Your just a hot piece of ass, and I like your sex appeal…nothing else.. I know what I like and I know what I want…”

    This is from the man that has the most amazing well written lovely profile about wanting to share everything in life, not doing alone well, absolutely loving his kids who are around my age, and wanting to travel to fun places to ski, travel, etc…..Um, youporn.com, Call an Escort or a few escorts for your fantasy…NEXT….

  306. MoonPatrol says:

    I said it : I don’t think this woman knows what a SB is. SHe’s creeping me out and making it seem like A prostitute hookup . But between thou ANd I , I am not getting ant action right now

  307. MoonPatrol says:

    ISRL SD-
    I can relate to the possibility of running into someone I know. It could be awkward and catch me off guard but I got nothing to hide from. Like I said this is getting to be too virtual. Maybe I could tell some of these younger youthful women that I ‘m meeting other pot’s and will get back to them. I ‘m not exactly rolling in the dates though.

  308. Michelle says:

    IRLSD what state are you in? Moon Patrol i would never ask for 200 for a booty call. i am too modest, a girlie girl, and that is not very cool. i would never go that low i value myself

  309. MoonPatrol says:

    yeah I get that nice guy crap a lot, but I can drive people mad with my stubbornness. You would not believe how hard I worked in the last 6 months, alone, and I like having the power at the symphony being a subscriber and all and an arts patron in other theaters, I wasn’t always able to do this. I’m not rich like a doctor but can do whatever I want and it feels great. Like I said, your going to give women money in a GF or SB relationship, its just got a different packaging on it. I thought I had blown off one SB but I keep getting texts for upfront sex and gifts, it spooks me.

  310. IRLSD says:

    OK, I better go to bed now. Catch up with you guys in the morning :)

  311. IRLSD says:

    MoonPatrol, I am not famous, but enough people know me. I run into people who know me professionally all the time in the most surprising of places and yes, I’ve been caught with SBs several times, always just introducing them as whoever they are and trying to play it off like it’s nothing. Another problem is that while others will reocgnize me, I won’t necessarily have any clue that they know me, so I have to watch how I behave in public. I’ve gotten much better picking the right places to meet to lower the risk. I also keep my profile hidden because otherwise I can’t imagine that someone who knows me won’t run across it.

  312. Michelle says:

    IRLSD – i wish everyone would just share. i can keep things under my hat very well. i am very honest. i guess i will see how things go from here and hope for the best.

  313. MoonPatrol says:

    I don’t want to know your ID but are you someone famous or some kind of known guy?. I tell people what I do on my profile. And what I am is me with the name and thats about it.
    I’ve been in the classroom with this too long and unless I get in the lab I’m going to become a virtual SD. I don’t relate to booty calls.

  314. Boston Honey says:

    Moon Patrol – I think you love women and women know that…they can tell that you are romantic and a sweetie….and I hate to say this, but you seem too nice, and some women will try to use this to their advantage…

    I would tread lightly and follow Cleo’s advice. Take your time unless you are totally infatuated and feel that one of those 20 pot SB’s is amazing, the chemistry is there, and you want to enter a relationship. Otherwise I am afraid you might get burned. Just my 2 cents…but what do I know… Perhaps you should tell them that you are meeting with a few other pot SB’s and you will get back to them after you have had a chance to meet a few. I think NYGENT or someone else said that they do this quite a bit.

  315. cleo says:

    yaz it’s a public blog, it’s your job to intrude.

    i agree with you actually, but i think a few dates at least gets rid of the scammers?
    irlsd if you can’t tell your sb the truth what in heck is the point in having one?
    i am much less careful of meetings than most of you. i meet in a public place in an area that i know well and have many exits that don’t involve going to my home.

    i am like irlsd, people are people and i think i can spot the creeps fairly well. not perfectly, never that but all the care in the world will only do so much. i tend to like my gut.

  316. MoonPatrol says:

    Yaz I’ve been exactly there where they are prying for your wallet. I knew to cut it off before it went too far. They look at your allowance on the profile and use that as a target to try and hit quickly.

  317. IRLSD says:

    Michelle, I tell people what I do in my first e-mail and if they ask who I am, I tell them. If they don’t ask, I tell them when we meet. I want an SB to be a part of my life and know lots about me, even though she knows to keep the whole thing secret.

  318. Yaz says:

    This is where you might get used over and over again. Many SBs ( professionals or not) might “act” as if they are deeply into you just to get their allowance. You never know if their feelings are genuine or not. As long as they know that you are wealthy, many people can try to earn your trust just to get to your wallet.

    Sorry if I am intruding in your convo :-)

  319. cleo says:

    MP i think if a girl won’t go on a couple/few dates with you without money – a week in cancun is not a date, dinner/museum/walk/lunch is – then why the hell would you want to get in an arrangement with her? i’m not thinking she likes you.

    she can refuse sex but she should still want it or know if she will. even if i wait ten dates to jump a guy (not always) i know by the second one if i want to…

    i met a pot recently that i would hang out with for free. hell i think i’d even jump him without an arrangement he’s that hot to me. i am not sure he feels it back and furthermore this case dictates that an arrangement would have to happen but nonetheless if that isn’t true i would be leery of accepting an arrangement anyway.

    isn’t that how this should work?

    THAT SAID: if you are expecting me to go to a spa, get mani/pedi’d, travel, dress in black tie when you know i don’t have the right clothing, drive more than half an hour?

    you should offer to compensate me for my expenses like gas or taxis or plane tix or whatever…

  320. MoonPatrol says:

    Yea it would be strange to be paying a girl to see if she likes you. For me that hasn’t happened as they all act like they like me. I have one tonight wanting to do a booty call so she can get a $200 laptop for her . When I was in other times in my life I would be all over that like Tarazan but I hardly know her and kind of am turned off by her forwardness.

  321. Michelle says:

    IRLSD your probably right. i am trusting that is the problem and share openly who i am, what i do, and my goals. i guess i just want that back.
    do you tell people who u r before meeting them or after? or do u hide it?

  322. IRLSD says:

    MoonPatrol, I am in my mid 30s and went out with someone in her low 20s and she thought I was too young. So it’s hard to know what age people are looking for. I have been scammed for money so many times I don’t even want to begin telling those stories, but my new rule is simple–I am seriously after a serious long-term SD/SB relationship. If it works, I will give her plenty of money. But I will not pay someone to decide if I am the right person for her. She can meet me and see for herself and when she is ready, believe me, I’ll have her allowance ready.

  323. IRLSD says:

    Michelle, when I started on SA, I was scared to death that I would meet SBs who were professionals, or who were setting me up for blackmail, or who were undercover reporters trying to get stories on sugar daddies, etc. But as I met a few people and saw them all as people, my fear dissipated and now I am much more trusting. But true, one should never be complacent,

  324. MoonPatrol says:

    ” i know that i would go on three or four dates without an arrangement no problem. i can imagine i might make out with someone too before we got there and really, isn’t that enough to at least get an idea if you want to know her more?”
    Thats a good idea. I figure your going to give money to women on the outside or the inside.
    I have a few women around 19-21 mailing me and I want to know are they scammers? I bet they are, they want o get money up front and bolt. Could there be an honest desire to connect with a guy 25 years up on them?

  325. IRLSD says:

    When I first joined SA, I was much more sexually aggressive on the first date. Unless the girl was unattractive (i.e. looked nothing like her profile pictures), second base was more or less expected on the first date and no one ever stopped me either. But over time I have come to avoid that. There are many possible reasons why–I am not even completely sure myself, but I find the non-sexual first date with a hug or kiss on the cheek at the end to be just right. But I also have a bad tendency of letting things fall the platonic way while I decide if things are right.

  326. Michelle says:

    IRLSD i agree mine was similar i just want to have a little street smart as i am really young can be gullible and naive. i would never harm anyone and am confused with all the secrets and hiding on this site. i understand being discreet and having a private life but also i don’t want to meet a psycho either and end up as a lampshade in their basement.

  327. FantasticBlonde says:

    Oh I see, the name I used is my nickname I guess.
    My profile number is: 427621.

    I am pretty sure that my profile has not been approved as of yet but I created it at about 4:30 this afternoon.


  328. cleo says:

    irlsd i think in some ways that’s the perfect girl for an arrangement.

    i read a post once somewhere else about the perfect friends with benefits and the idea was that they were someone you could be totally hot for (have to have chemsitry) but that there was something right there in front of you that made them not marriage material

    something you couldn’t overlook even if you wanted to make them into something more …

    i don’t know if there’s a better approach, i’ve never had a sugar daddy, but i know that i would go on three or four dates without an arrangement no problem. i can imagine i might make out with someone too before we got there and really, isn’t that enough to at least get an idea if you want to know her more?

  329. IRLSD says:

    Hi FantasticBlonde and welcome. The basic answer to your question is that everyone is looking for something different, so there are people interested in SBs and SDs of all ages, races, geographic locations, etc. I think profile pictures are key, as is the profile content. The blog is always there to provide profile advice as well if you feel comfortable posting your profile number, otherwise you can e-mail it privately if you want advice.

  330. MoonPatrol says:

    Ah this SB world works better for me than match.com but at the same time its a lot scarier.

  331. IRLSD says:

    Michelle, with my webcam SB, I was concerned that she might not be 18 (her profile says 18). Anyways, I paypalled her some money and paypal gives you the real name. I then typed in her e-mail address from her paypal account into facebook and found her real name there as well. Turned out she turned 18 on September 30 (her friends sent her happy 18th birthday messages on that day). I found out what high school she went to, what sports she was in, etc, etc, etc. Next time we chatted, I told her the truth but told her it was because I was concerned that she might not be 18. I also told her that the reason I told her what all I found was so that she’d be more careful in the future. I meant no harm, but some psycho asking her to stick things into her anus on a webcam might. She was not upet as far as I could tell.

  332. FantasticBlonde says:

    Hello all! I am new to this site and spent the past few hours reading blogs and responses. I feel like I already know quite a lot if you! I like the feeling I am getting from this site and the blogs.

    I have had a IRLSD once but otherwise, I would consider myself new to this sort of scenario.

    With all that in mind, I am wondering if being in my early 40’s I can expect the attention of any SD’s? I am in Southern California. I have composed a concise, warm and informative profile and have included three recent, clear photos. I expect my profile to be approved by this time tomorrow.

    Basically I just wanted to say hello and introduce myself. Here’s to a fantastic 2010!


  333. IRLSD says:

    Cleo, I mean intravenous drugs. I can care less if she does ecstasy every month at some club or used pot three years ago.

  334. IRLSD says:

    Plus, things change. An SB who seemed intelligent and motivated quits school and work and sits at home all day. How unattractive. Or an SB turns out to have a drug problem that she never mentioned before despite my discussion on drugs. Or an SB gets overly attached to the point that I can’t get a haircut without her being paranoid about where I am even though I work, am married, and have a life to tend to and am not cheating. Or I spend so much time with an SB that my wife confronts me. Anyways, there is always a reason things don’t work out.

    I guess my question is this. I meet an SB and she is solidly but not earth-shatteringly attractive in my eyes. She is fun and has a plan for her life that is admirable. She is not on drugs, is not married, and the conversations are fun. I know if I was single I’d never think of her as marriage potential just because she’s not the type I’d see myself with forever. Now, do I offer her an arrangement? My answer has been yes, offer the arrangement and see what happens. Is there a better approach?

  335. Michelle says:

    thanks for the advice HL, IRLSD, and Midwest. dinner was great and we had fun talking for several hours. he wants to see me again for dinner. we joked about the fake wedding on here too… i just want to be safe and smart not after anyone for their bank account. it was just a reverse phone lookup not total background check… i wouldn’t be angry if someone did it on me either because i am a real hard working girl.

  336. cleo says:

    that’s another question, people say ‘drug use’ but do they mean ‘oh my god you smoked a joint on saturday!!!’ or do they mean ‘heroin chic’ ?

    cause i am screwed on the drug free if they mean the former…
    irlsd: fair enough

  337. IRLSD says:

    Cleo, I screen for looks based on pictures. Of those who passed, I have met around 20 SBs and have offered arrangements to maybe 5 or 6 and they have all taken me up on the offers. But you’re right, I have decided to be much stricter going forward. I ask straight-up about marriage so there are no surprises down the road. I also ask about drug use and STDs on the first meet if I see any potential. I also push the SB on her goals, as I hate to support someone with no future. But at the end, if I like the person it is hard not to give them a chance. I am not looking to marry the girl, just to have a relationship that will last a few months or a couple of years, so I do not need the strictest standards in every quality. If I did, I’d never find an SB, at least not on the internet.

  338. Midwest says:

    he he – I can certainly do a brisk walk in these temps. I was thinking of a visit tot he sauna as well.

    I’m off to bed. Goodnigt.

  339. cleo says:

    midwest: do something, go for a good/brisk walk or something like that to get the blood moving. keep walking until you don’t hurt anymore or at least half an hour… whichever feels more right.

    if it’s after midnight just take a quick hot bath

  340. Midwest says:

    Cleo – what’s a good solution for the next day soreness from a tough workout?

  341. cleo says:

    midwest all my offline communication with bloggers is like that as well. either profile/pic comments or chat about local pots or the like…

  342. cleo says:

    midwest i think it’s maybe always nicer to just trust the surface… least in a place like this.
    IRLSD: it sounds like you try to start an arrangement with every sb you meet? sorry, every sb you meet who is attractive seems like someone you give a chance to. maybe you have to close your filters a little?

  343. Midwest says:

    I do get e-mails off line, but it is typically from sbs wanting to ask questions about particular scenarios with pots they don’t want to share on the blog…not to gossip. But that’s just my experience.

  344. IRLSD says:

    There is the blog and then there are tons of people who e-mail back and forth behind the blog and pass gossip that way in some sort of parallel blog. I try to stay away from it as well.

  345. IRLSD says:

    My profile was hidden as well and I even had a disclaimer in all caps saying that I was not looking for anyone at all. Still, I was wrongly accused.

    Reminds me of another SB. I offered her 2500/month for a non-exclusive relationship or 5000 for an exclusive one. She badly wanted the latter, but at the same exact time she was texting me back and forth saying how exclusive she wanted to be, she was setting up a date on SA with another profile I had set up just to see how untrustworthy she was. See why it can be hard for me to trust? I actually gave her the 5K and didn’t say anything until two weeks later when I decided it was time to dump her. And the reason I dumped her was that she was married and from the beginning I told her that I just won’t ever sleep with a married woman so it would just be asexual, and I knew an asexual relationship would not last. Anyways, I asked her to come to my place once and she said no because she was not ready for sex. Whatever! I wasn’t even going to sleep with her so her presumptuousness was a huge turn-off, plus if I was, she really ought to have been ready by then (we had been on many dates), so that was the end of it. But I learned my lesson from her–no sex, no sugar. The SB can take a year to know me and feel comfortable, but she will not get paid to decide whether she wants to be in a relationship with me or not.

  346. Midwest says:

    Cleo – It does appear that way, doesn’t it. Sometimes it’s nice to be oblivious to those things, not play games and to enjoy the blog for what it was meant to be.

  347. cleo says:

    midwest sometimes i think there’s a whole world of undercurrent on this blog that i’m just oblivious to. like i have no idea who is friends with whom or who dates who or used to or might or flirted or whatever…

    but i have a feeling there’s a lot more under the surface than i see…

  348. cleo says:

    midwest i get it :)

    i wouldn’t mind having a webcam sd, that said, if i really liked him i’d probably want to meet him eventually

  349. Midwest says:

    IRL SD – I will keep your experience in mind. So far, we both remain on the blog and have hidden our profiles. We do have great trust and I don’t foresee SA becoming the source of any problems. Truthfully, the problem is in the behavior whether it be on SA or in real life.

    Cleo – I was speaking of IRL’s webcam sb. I hope you do get to visit with your family.

  350. IRLSD says:

    Cleo, I think she is hinting at my webcam SB. She stood my up on Thursday, apparently because she was caught at work and then tried to get on at midnight and of course I was asleep.

  351. IRLSD says:

    Midwest Mistress of the Dark, funny you say that. With my previous SB, I kept my SA account going and would log on to keep in touch with some people from the blog and to provide profile advice and not to look for a replacement for my SB. She also kept her account open and would tell me that she would browse SD profiles, but when she saw that I renewed my membership, she was *pissed*. It annoyed me because of the double-standard (Why should I be OK with her browsing SD profiles but it not be OK for me to keep my account active?) and because I really was not looking for someone else and did not contact anyone else trying to meet them (I felt wrongly accused). Even worse, it made me feel more like I was trapped with a second wife trying to control me than in a fun uncomplicated relationship. So the trust issue works both ways. In all honesty, it’s best for both people, if they want to give it a serious shot, to avoid SA altogether while the relationship lasts.

  352. cleo says:

    midwest why would my cam date (if i had one) be implied to be with irlsd?

    it’s actually with my sister and niece :)

  353. IRLSD says:

    Taylor, sounds like you are more in a traditional relationship with him than in a sugar one. You have to tread carefully, because asking for money can alienate him (sounds like he is a real potential), yet you are on SA looking for financial support. A lot f it depends on his personality. If someone says, “I really genuinely like you, but I also was on the site looking for more financial security,” then it might be a good lead-in to the topic of your finances. Or ask how it worked with the previous SB in terms of what he provided her. I have no direct experience with this as I always bring up the money part. But I do always bring up my previous experiences, sometimes in too much detail, mostly because I want the SB to have a good sense of what worked and didn’t work for me in the past so if she’s interested she knows everything and can have a good shot at making things work.

  354. Midwest says:

    I don’t use the camera much on my netbook. I don’t know where to start with the troubleshooting. Have a webcam sugardate? (Not implying with IRLSD)

  355. cleo says:

    no i mean… dammit

    this laptop is really annoying me, i might have to return it
    anyway i meant that the subject should be upside down and not the camera because otherwise the light is all wrong

  356. Midwest says:

    That may depend on who you ask – Let’s see if any of the lurking sds have any thoughts.

  357. cleo says:

    midwest it’s far better for the camera to be upside down than the subject… :)

  358. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Cleo- That makes for some interesting pictures 😛

  359. cleo says:

    i am having trouble getting my webcam right side up – very exciting

  360. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Alll L – Have you just joined? Looks like we have the blog to ourselves tonight. Even AM is enjoying her new do!

  361. Alll L says:

    Midwest Mistress of the Dark: It’s fine. Hope you had a great day!

  362. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Hi Aussie! How goes the search?

    Hi Alll L – sorry I missed you earlier.

  363. aussie SB *423494* says:

    Hello all the sugar blog regulars 😉

  364. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    IRLSD says: “I am starting to tell SBs that if they log on, then I will assume they are keeping their options open and I will do the same and as life has it, I will be quite readily tempted away by some new hot-looking profile, so if they really want it to work for an extended period of time, they should meet as many SDs as they want now and when they’ve decided I’m the one, then we can commit to avoiding SA until either of us is ready to move on.”

    So if your sb logs on to look at someone’s profile on the blog to provide profile advice, e-mails a blog sd to ask about something nice to do for you to show some appreciation, you will assume they are keeping their options open. Just because you keep your options open does NOT mean that all follow your train of thought. It sounds as though it would be helpful to find an sb you can trust. You might enjoy the lack of drama that comes with meeting someone you trust and feel like you can spend more than a few precious weeks with her before some hot, new sb captures your attention.

    Cleo- Nobody can explain why men disappear after a great date. Perhaps they are “carpet bombing” and they will come back for round 2. I know it’s not much consolation. Truth is, the reasons don’t matter. If you were yourself and they don’t come back…NEXT. Do not take it personally. You have so much to offer and you know it. Confidence is sexy and you have it all!!!

    Taylor – Welcome! I found my SD in 3 months and am quite happy. I know among the bloggers, the time frames vary widely. There are a few things I hope you will find helpful. None of these are easy to talk about so please know I have your best interest in mind. Fist, SDs can smell desperation a mile away and you sound like you NEED an SD. The last thing a sd wants is to become the ATM for an sb. No matter how difficult times may be for you, the responsibility of an sb is to provide your sd a place of tranquility, pleasure, no drama, and intimacy. He is a busy and powerful man and needs some down time for sugar. For these things, he is typically willing to provide assistance financially and as a mentor. Some prefer to be gift daddies, or provide alternative forms of an arrangement such as paying your tuition, books, etc. In order for you to achieve your financial goals, he needs to be aware of what these goals are. Share with him that you would like to bring down your debt, go back to school, be introduced to people who may be able to provide you with a new career opportunity, etc. If you cannot speak of it, you take the risk of not getting what you need to achieve your goals and it is no longer a mutually beneficial relationship. Explain to him that being able to budget would help your planning. Lastly, you cannot have the mentality that he shouldn’t be able to spend his money on what he desires if he is not providing an allowance to you. If you feel this way, you need to continue looking. He has earned his wealth and it is not ours to judge how, why or on whom he spends his wealth. I hope you see this as constructive advice and not a personal attack. My concern is that an sd would be willing to meet with you, detect your sense of urgency and entitlement and walk the other way. You will be searching a very long time if you continue down that road.

    Anahita – Welcome!

    AtxBlondie – Congrats on all the good and not-so-good dates! All learning experiences. My bet is on Pot #3 so far :-)

  365. Taylor says:

    IRLSD, we did spend the night together after talking explicitly about how much we were into each other and want something longer term together…. This was after ten days of calling and mailing and then after spendig that first entire day together-twelve hours spent talking and hanging out. When it was closer to the conclusion of our planned day together, I knew I wanted to explore the physical connection. He got me my own room but I stayed in his because I wanted to, and both the intimacy and the cuddling was perfect. I know he felt the same as he gushed about it. He has been messaging me since about how much I’m on his mind and misses me in the most profound way. His intent on seeing me regularly is clear, and even says that he sees no reason to assume that there is a ceiling to our relationship as he is single. Meaning he would like to leave having a traditional relationship on the table, as a possible direction to go, since I expressed that i’ve never done this and am a sensitive romantic, and don’t know if i am even capable of not developing feelings for my lover if we have great chemistry, and wanting a traditional happily ever after with him. He says I begin to enter his heart already and can’t imagine why that would be off the table for a possible future scenario. Right now we live in different countries (although we are both americans) and he has full custody of his kids and three busy careers and wasn’t anticipating being able to squeeze in a traditional romantic relationship for a couple more years until his kids are both away at college. He fell into an a long term sugar relationship in real life and she clued him into the site when the relationship ended because she was moving very very far away. He thought his one arrangement suited very well while his priorities are on single fatherhood, and he wants another. But all the girls he met nearby were not really women he found intriguing, or out and out escorts.

  366. Atxblondie says:

    Hello Everybody!

    Ok so if you don’t know or remember me for the other day, I’m a newbie.
    My first week as a SB I have had 3 POT SD dates with the hopes of 2 next week.

    Here is how things went.

    SB1: Meet for dinner and had great conversation. The restaurant was not the classiest of places kind of cheesy and the food was over cooked and tasted frozen in my opinion. But great guy and conversation non the less. The next day he asked if he could go walking with me and I said yes. Man it was freezing that day but still managed to get my exercise in anyways. We had great conversation once again. I wasn’t comfortable with any talk about and agreement just yet and he was my first POT SD to top things off. I do look forward to seeing him again however I don’t think we are going to be intimate since I am not feeling a connection.

    SB2: Eat at a wonderful place and had really good conversation once again. However he really did get to know more about me than I did of him. We sure did grow up on the opposite sides of the tracks. But we seemed to have some interests that were the same. During dinner he spoke of what he is looking for and that he was not willing to have a financial agreement with a lady. He also mentioned that he couldn’t believe woman set a figure or a monthly allowance they were looking for. So what it boiled done to was that he is just looking for a booty call whenever he comes to town. But he did also mention flying to other cities too with the idea of me going along as well. I don’t think this is a situation that I am comfortable with. If I wanted to just be treated like a piece of ass I can find plenty of local men here that will act that way. I’m seriously looking to be with someone that is interested in helping me build my future. Along with being with someone were we can share intimate times together.

    SD3: Met up for coffee today. Stupid me thought that I had found great parking right next to the coffee shop. Wow! but the moment I got out of my car I saw that I was in a 15 min zone. So I ran into the coffee shop to say Hi and tell him what I did and that I needed to move my car real quick. Then ran out the door. Poor guy probably thought I was ditching him after I saw his face or something, lol. Which by the way he was WAY more attractive in person than his photo. Found a spot to park and walked back to the coffee shop. Where luckily he was still sitting there waiting for me! We talked for over an hour and I couldn’t tell if he was really interested in me or not. I thought he was a good guy and interesting too. So we parted ways after the meeting and I figured I would email him tomorrow and let him know that it was nice meeting him. But to my surprise later in the afternoon he emailed me saying “it was nice meeting me and let’s get together soon if (I am) still interested.” I sent him back a message saying that I would love to see him again soon.

    So there we go the first few days of my SBhood. Looking forward to my hopeful next POT SD’s for next week. I’ll keep you all in mind. Have a beautiful evening all and stay warm.

  367. IRLSD says:

    Speaking of SBs who jump into bed, I think I may have been used for sex by an SB. She is the one I met on Christmas day and hit it off well and we had sex that same day and the next. Then her BF came back to town and we ran into scheduling conflicts (I was busy with Polish girl and she with her boyfriend) and this week she’s out of town with her BF, making it some 2 weeks since we’ve seen each other. I have a feeling she was mad that her BF left her all alone on Christmas and went to visit his parents without her, so her way of getting back at him was to sleep with me (she kind of hinted at that). She said she wants to meet when she comes back for some “fun” but we’ll see–I already have a pot set up on Monday afternoon and the SB I met Thursday will be back in town during the week so I think we are in for another round of scheduling conflicts.

  368. cleo says:

    taylor: i kind of think you should just show the man that post…

    really i don’t have anything useful to say other than “here’s an ice pack dear, please stop hitting your head now”

  369. IRLSD says:

    Taylor, there is no easy answer to your question. I had an IRL (in real life, i.e. not from SA) SB and I gave her a ton of money and took her on a bunch of trips and she never asked for anything and we never negotiated. I knew her well and so I knew what she needed and made sure she had more than what she needed and I did set up her business and she is rather wealthy now herself. But there was never a quid-pro-quo. She slept with me before I even offered assistance so I knew she was not with me just for the money (I know this is a no-no on SA but I’ll say that an SB who jumps in bed with me without asking for an allowance first will score major points, and she will not be jipped by me either). But in general on SA, I tend to be more business-like and make a pretty clear offer right off the bat if there is chemistry, telling the SB exactly how many hours how many times a week I will see her and exactly what amount and how she will be paid. It makes things feel transactional and is antithetical to any magical feel to a relationship, but it has its advantages.

  370. Anahita says:

    hey everyone! how is life on planet SA? I am a new entrant in the class of SB’s

  371. Alll L says:

    Answers to questions in the previous blog:

    Are you open to “pay per meet” arrangements? Why or why not?
    Whatever floats ‘our’ boat-negotiation.

    What 3 things can you not go without in an arrangement?
    Chemistry, physics and math!

  372. Taylor says:

    Oh and in case it was unclear before, I would love to get a full time job right now more in line with my educational background, which he should be able to arrange, and do my own start-up on the side for awhile, but then again not having a boss and having a more free schedule to fly off and meet this guy sounds really awesome too, so if I had to choose I think I’d be quite torn in terms of which scenario I’d prefer play out –a good allowance to cover my overhead and I can leisurely pursue my start-up without needing it to be profitable right away while I learn more about being an entrpreneur, and have more flexibility for my out-of-town sugardates, and getting a job through his connections that would really help my resume in the future, in case I hate running my own company or whatnot. But then I’d have less availability to see this SD as we are far apart and at least 1-2 long weekends per month were what we were thinking of for 2010….so….. *shrug*

  373. Alll L says:

    How does negotiation and chemistry factor in to how intimate you are with a sugar?
    Negotiaton has nothing to do with it. It all is about chemistry for me.

    SincereSD: How do the rest of you handle seeing people you know when on a sugar date?
    It’s a date, like any other!

    Do you have any sugar dates or meets planned?

  374. Taylor says:

    So I just wanted to ask all you SBs what’s the longest time you have waited and pursued seeking a SD before finding what you were looking for? I’ve been looking for a year and I’ve never had an arrangement before.
    I’m wondering about the promising-seeming SD I have just stumbled onto last week. We met once, and it was an amazing first date. Which lasted two days. We discussed things (in terms of having met on SA and why we both want an arrangement) quite openly but he made it clear that there was never talk of money with his one previous SB, he just made his contributions when he did and she never complained, during a long-ish relationship. Didn’t ask the amounts. And we’ve never discussed allowance amounts, either, although I know he wants to engage in an arrangement with me because he confirmed it explicitly (although I could tell by first glance and previous calls/emails anyways).

    I don’t actually want to talk about money either. I just want to see him as much as possible, and him to magically erase the brunt of my financial stress (and help me with career mentoring) without ever discussing it. Is this naive? I hate even having this issue hanging between us because I want it out of the way so I don’t think twice about his level of support and can just focus on enjoying him and enjoying my life (and enjoy the fun of starting my own company this month!) and feel lucky to have most (ok, preferrably ALL) of my financial hassles relieved. His wealth is such that I doubt what he would have in mind in terms of an allowance wouldn’t cover my entire monthly overhead. And what a blessing that would be as I am jobless right now and have been for quite some time (although I am educated). I wish I could just not care and date him but then again, even if this were a traditional dating relationship, (given his obscene wealth and my lack-of-income status) going out with him to fancy places (that are the norm for him) in my thrift store clothes, and accompany him while he browses and shops for himself at the most expensive stores in the world just seems crass!!

    Even a normal boyfriend would step in and offer to help out, to help ease my financial burden so I can go out and have fun with him without that on my mind all the time, kwim? So a guy from SA should certainly realize that given the dynamics here, he’d better start up a generous allowance scheme so I don’t kind of hate him for flaunting his wealth in front of me, ya know? Even if I’m getting to enjoy it for some fleeting moments while by his side, too, of course. It’s not the same thing when I’m calculating in my head how long I’ll be able to continue to pay rent, and he is thinking of buying another apartment after lunch, for a lark. I don’t want a gourmet meal or a night in a five star hotel, I need a helping hand until the business I’m about to launch is turning a profit.

    But I get squicked out at the thought of bringing up money, especially amounts. I don’t want to talk about it. And I know he also is uninterested in discussing money at all, and thinks that setting up another bank account just for these things is nutty and I suppose just likes to make contributions. That would be fine if I had any idea (even ballpark) how much those would be, but it’s weighing on my mind in the meantime.

    The only thing I’ve put out there to kind of start getting the ball rolling in terms of him getting the hint that I’d like to start feeling his financial aid in my life in a tangible way, is detailing a way I’d like him to participate/contribute to my new company’s opening event, and the specific contribution I asked from him will cost a couple of thousand. He said he’s all for it, and loves the idea of helping getting me launched. But so far that’s all that has been asked for or stated.

    Again, this is a guy I’d date anyway, and I don’t want to spoil that feeling by sitting down at the negotiations table with him. But until that’s rolling, it’ll be on my mind for the reasons I already stated. He’s a benefactor and philanthropist, in life, for so many large institutions, so making a contribution towards….well, me (and my new start-up) is really so small that it wouldn’t even register in his world. More than anything like that, though, I’d like him to pull some strings to get me a job, since he has amazing pull, everywhere. A simple google search of his name and all the public information and interviews of him confirms everything he’s ever said, so there’s no chance that he’s not as well-off as I think he is. I’ve told him I’d like his help finding a job, and sent him my CV, and he agreed he’d like to do so. I mentioned how he could donate something to help get my company going which costs more than a couple hundred, but not more than a couple thousand, so no big amounts there. And now…. what do I do? Just wait two weeks for our scheduled week-long second date? Bring it up then? What if it just gets more and more awkward the longer we know each other and the more and more we are into each other and still haven’t discussed allowance. Then it will be such an elephant in the room.

    *bangs head into wall*

  375. cleo says:

    anna molly i got a laptop for christmas which i returned because it broke and then decided to buy a slightly better one. i got the clearance one from last year (since it’s 160 bucks cheaper) which is the same but for 100gb and it has vista on it. the upgrade was 20 bucks so i figured what the heck.


  376. Anna Molly *397377* says:

    Upgrading to windows7 Cleo?

  377. Anna Molly *397377* says:

    Breast implants….not for me. I don’t need them.

    Boy, I’m full of myself today aren’t I….LOL

  378. cleo says:

    IRLSD: hmm i see what you mean. great conversation about all sorts of things but nothing about fun activities together, just fun activities. is this different if it’s a two hour lunch date? a one hour coffee? a four hour dinner?

    i don’t like plastic, i am even having a hard time deciding about covering my grey hair (since i look hot with it but it does age me and i do want to get laid) and yet i use makeup happily. so i can totally see the breast implants actually bugging a lot.
    omg upgrading windows takes forever!

  379. Anna Molly *397377* says:

    I’m back from the salon and my hair looks gorgeous! :)

    VS didn’t have the bra and panties I wanted…sigh. I guess I will have to see if I can find it online.

    How is everybody?

  380. IRLSD says:

    Cleo, when I am interested, I make it pretty clear on the first date–I will talk about the arrangement, I will say that I am interested, I will talk about when we can meet, etc. When I am not interested, I am polite, will have nice conversation but will not talk specifically about the relationship between the two of us, and at the end I’ll either say nothing or something generic. Sometimes the date goes well but I sleep over it and have no interest in the morning. Or things go well but one thing bothers me to no end and makes me reconsider (sometimes it’s something as simple as breast implants). It’s hard to explain these to the SBs. In my experience, among those who I have gone out with, there was only one time I thought an SB was not interested and I was wrong, so I offered her another chance to meet the next evening and we had a very nice two months together until we ran into external problems and things had to end.

  381. cleo says:

    JSO you have to give us a minute or two come on now :)
    so lately i’ve gone on a bunch of dates and sometimes i knew i wasn’t feeling it, sometimes i knew he wasn’t feeling it, sometimes i knew neither of us were.

    that said, there’s the other dates. the ones where the conversation sparkles and everyone is clearly having a blast and sometimes there’s even a kiss or a little necking at the end of the evening.

    you know, the dates where you both know someone is gonna call.

    except that this year? those ones aren’t. they make all the right noises, heck one of them even told ME to email HIM and answered that email and then fell off the planet.

    is it that people think this is nicer? to feign interest and then disappear?

    i am minded of a man i met once for a date and we liked each other well enough but there was no zzzt and we both knew it. we walked to his bicycle (i was walking home) and he said “it was great meeting you” and gave me a hug and left.

    not a word about calling me or anything. it was awesome. he was polite but honest and i didn’t wonder for a second what was going on. ahh if only.

    so, what is with that? what is with having a fantastic date and then falling off the planet? and i ask this both of sds and of regular men if you know what i mean?

  382. cleo says:

    midwest i looooooooooooooooooooooove moroccan oil. that and (don’t laugh) garnier surf hair.

    don’t have a shampoo i like other than infusion and it isn’t good enough :(
    (yes i’m taking suggestions)
    BH july for january? at a ski hill? what city?


  383. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Good afternoon
    Home from work, very cold day here. Got the hot chocolate and whip cream ready.

  384. IRLSD says:

    VA SB, the issue of an SB continuing to log into SA is one I’ve thought about a bit and I do look to see if an SB continues to log on (or if they suddenly start paying for their account so they can hide their last login). I don’t mind per se, but I am starting to tell SBs that if they log on, then I will assume they are keeping their options open and I will do the same and as life has it, I will be quite readily tempted away by some new hot-looking profile, so if they really want it to work for an extended period of time, they should meet as many SDs as they want now and when they’ve decided I’m the one, then we can commit to avoiding SA until either of us is ready to move on. Just my two cents, otherwise things are doomed from the get-go. And really I say this as a favor for the SB, because it is much easier for me to find a replacement than it is for them on SA.

  385. JSO - TXSD says:

    guess not…later

  386. JSO - TXSD says:

    is anybody on

  387. Boston Honey says:

    Sat, Feb 6th…

  388. Boston Honey says:

    Now this is a good time…18th Annual July in January Party….this guy knows how to have fun…if anyone wants to go…let me know…as I can’t make your Chicago “Meat” N Greet… this isn’t SA per say…but fun and World Class Skiing Near By…

    Shareholder Meeting Announcement

    Well, we all thought July in January was too big to fail. This economic downturn has sure changed our thinking! July in January was on the brink of collapse! But good news…

    Thanks to a multi-billion dollar bailout from the Federal Government we are allowed to continue operations, avoid bankruptcy court and continue our practice of awarding ungodly huge corporate bonuses for our directors (that would be X and Y)

    So instead of flying off to some tax sheltered Caribbean island (well, we are still doing that in March), we are once again holding our annual meeting of shareholders. (that’d be you)

    Come help us celebrate our solvency with home brewed beer, jell-O shots, tequila and hot tubs!

    You know the drill: dress lightly – it really is warm, bring all your friends, relatives and enemies, but no food or beverage. Bathing suits are optional for the hot tub. There is plenty of room for those who want to stay overnight (bring a sleeping bag).

    XO, BH

  389. Mina says:

    Oh… And expanding a bit on a question –
    I’ve had previous SDs run in the same social circles as my parents and I even knew their children personally. Talk about too close for comfort but it was fun & thrilling at first to sneak around though became tiring after a while.

  390. Mina says:

    It’s been a while for me – hope everyone had a lovely new years!

    How does negotiation and chemistry factor in to how intimate you are with a sugar?
    I’ve never had to negotiate but chemistry is a huge factor for me. If he isn’t somoene I wouldnt be attracted to in the “real dating world” than I wouldnt even consider pursuing an arrangement with him; it ends there. I’ve been very fortunate with my previous SDs and current SD in that their allowance was/is much more generous than I would have asked for. And the fact that they’ve all been terribly good looking and charming helps tremendously, lol.

    SincereSD: How do the rest of you handle seeing people you know when on a sugar date?
    Unfortunately for any SD I’ve had and myself, a simple “this is my friend, ______” will not do. I used to do a bit of party planning so that certainly helped, but lately saying that either of us is a family friend works.

    Do you have any sugar dates or meets planned?
    I just got back from Cabo with friends (SD wasnt present but he certainly helped :) and SD and I are seeing each other next week and quite a bit more before the month is over.

  391. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    AM & BH- My favorites are Morrocan Oil and Ojon.

  392. Boston Honey says:

    Oui….Oh I wish I was going with you! I like BB too. WH/BH is fun… Have a ball! I am doing homework….so much fun…yeah…. I do have a pot SD date tonight though with the explosive pot SD whom we have an incredible connection already…. I have turned down a few offers as one was too close to my original hometown and his second house is in that area and he spends a lot of time. It would be too strange to run into so many of the same people we know…and we know the same people…small world. Some other offers were “strange” and the amazing CEO who seemed great really needs to hire an escort so that isn’t going anywhere…. I am not meeting only in a hotel room every week and exchanging text messages about sex…. Jeesh….

    I also have two people who want to fly me one to Seattle and one to Georgia… I don’t feel ready to fly into those places yet until I have more information and feel more of a connection. My motto is to trust my gut feelings….

  393. Anna Molly *397377* says:

    BH – I’ve been using Bumble and Bumble (is that how you spell it?) And love it! Smells so good and clean. Heading over to sephora and VS after this and maybe a pit stop at White House Black Market and/or Ann Taylor. I’m in the mood to shop…LOL

  394. Boston Honey says:

    Ohh AM enjoy your day I used to live 45 min to an hour away too…. I love giving and receiving a great scalp massage. I finally found a wonderful Hair Stylist and we are going to barter. Hair for Massage…yeah! My hair has always been long. I don’t feel feminine without long hair… Plus, it is low maintenance, and easy to take care of and usually in a ponytail too. I love Joico – The Art of Healthy Hair.

  395. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Hi AM – Yay! Fluff, buff and puff! You need a night out too! Enjoy the pampering :-)

    I just completely beat up by my personal trainer…ouch! I could use a little TLC as well.

  396. Anna Molly *397377* says:

    Hi Midwest! I agree with you about HL…he is such a pleasure to have around isn’t he.

    I’m at the salon as we speak and I’m loving every second of it :)

  397. Anna Molly *397377* says:

    About the logging on thing. I log in to see what’s going on with my account or to answer emails, but I haven’t searched profiles in a while. I would hope that my man would talk to me about this issue when the time comes.

    I would be more than happy to hide or delete my profile if it is something that the both of us agreed to do. I wouldn’t do it unless he agreed to do it to.

  398. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    HL – All of your posts are so full of wisdom and spoken so eloquently. Thank you. XO

  399. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Afternoon sugars!

    PDA- I can’t keep my hands off :-) I enjoy affection and don’t care who sees it. I’m not overbearing, but I enjoy my SDs touch. Then again, we’ve always met where it truly didn’t matter.

    Logging on- SD and I have both hidden our profiles voluntarily and without discussion. We talk about when we talk to bloggers offline (not in detail) and have not given a second thought to dishonorable intentions. If it gets to a point where either of us feel the urge to start looking again, we have agreed to be upfront and to stop the arrangement amicably without questions or hard feelings.

    CM – I agree with the others in your situation. This has been a good experience to build on, but don’t stop your search and don’t waste any more time on hime until he becomes serious. One thing that worked nicely for me since SD and I were both new is I referred him to the blog. We both learned so much from the others and the arrangement is going very well.

  400. Happy Lurker says:

    Hi Michelle,
    Please take some advice from me.
    Do NOT bring up at your second date that you researched your pot SD.
    Do NOT tell him that you went behind his back and found out he is MR Well-todo.
    And certainly do NOT tell him that you paid for that information.
    It is always dificult to know if an SB is interested in you just because she likes you or is she interested in you because of your money ?
    In my opinion he just wants to get to know you on an ordinary level and therefore told you jokingly he runs a MCD as a manager.
    You only wanted to establish his background to be safe in a relationship that you are about to enter. Well now you know.
    Keep the info to yourself and wait for him to show you his true colours.
    Take it from me that he would be very irritated with you if you, if you
    “confronted” him with the paid information.
    He will get up and walk away instantly murmering under his breath
    NEXT !
    Some things are better kept to yourself.
    Be diplomatic, it is a very important aspect of keeping a good relationship rolling on the sunny side of life !
    You have a French name and the French are known for their diplomacy and tact in handling people.
    Cherie, don’t let him down, please.

  401. Lizzy says:

    VA SB personally if I am still logging in it is because I am not happy. Sugar relationships fizzle, that is the law of of sugar physics. There are no hard and fast rules per se, but in my experience all good things must come to an end. I prefer a sugar term agreement. A 3-6 month sugar arrangement works best for me and has kept me from fizzling out too quickly.
    My school and educational focus comes first and my sugar life is second. Finding SD’s who are agreeable to these terms has been easy. Maybe it is my location. Not sure, but I am very picky due to the nature of relationship I only enter into arrangements with non married SD’s. It works best for me. Everyone needs to find their niche in the sugar world.
    Life is short and sugar is sweet. Lizzy :)

  402. VA SB says:

    Sorry – meant to write NC Gent… Damn blackberry screen…

  403. Anna Molly *397377* says:

    For the record..I like PDA, but I am a very affectionate person though. Doesn’t matter where I am, if I’m into you I will show it.

  404. VA SB says:

    NY Gent – 😉 that kind of PDA is fine and I probably should clarify. When I’m in my own backyard, I’ll be very careful about pda such as kissing, hugging, etc., simply “because” of how many people I know because of my work. They know my situation and it would be circumspect if I was out with another man kissing, etc.

    If I find an SD outside of DC/VA metro area, then there isn’t a risk of that. So, holding hands and hugging is very different to me. Probably not a bunch of public kissing though – that’s more of a preference. Behind closed doors is a different thing all together.

  405. NC Gent says:

    VA SB — it wouldn’t bother me if my SB was still logging on unless we had both agreed not to do that, but then how would I know if she was anyways lol I have typically done the mutually agreed upon delete profile. I do like browsing profiles though for entertainment purposes. The best thing is to talk about it I think.

  406. VA SB says:

    Lizzy – and others – this brings up an interesting question. Do you still “logon” to the SA site even after you’ve entered an arrangement? With how long it takes to find a good SD, do you stop everything once you find one and when it’s over, just start from scratch all over again?

    SDs – how do you feel about your SB logging into their account because they are still active and getting responses/emails. Would that bother you?

    These arrangements are very fickle (as I’ve come to learn from the blog) and either party can end it anytime. For an SB, it’s much harder to find a new SD. Just wondering what folks think.


  407. NC Gent says:

    CM — more good advice from Lizzy — always keep your options open. With my first SB, we were both rookies in the sugar world and it took quite a while to feel comfortable – a few months. But we really liked each other. It can take anywhere from a few days to a few months, and every sugar arrangement is different.

    VA SB — why are you too old for PDA? I am in my 40s and I still like holding hands, holding each other in public. One of the reasons I typically go for SBs closer to my age though.

  408. VA SB says:

    Negoatiation and Chemistry — Chemistry would have to be there first before anything else occurred. I would not want to deal with the specifics of the arrangement if talking to a pot SD was like watching paint dry. Also, if it seemed that all the pot SD could focus on was the sex/intimacy without being able to hold a conversation about “anything” else – then that won’t work as well. I actually want to enjoy my time with my SD – and I’m more than just what’s below my waist…So chemistry, in all areas, has to be there. (Maybe that’s why I’m still searching.)

    Seeing Someone I Know — because of my job and other involvements, I often meet colleagues for dinner or drinks after work or on the weekend If I saw someone I know while out with my SD, I would just introduce my SD by first name and kindly go back to my conversation. I don’t think it would be an issue – and since I’m too damn old (not “that” old, but still) for PDA, there won’t be anything to see.

    Sugar Plans — I am supposed to have a date tomorrow for lunch with a potential. We have chemistry on the phone, but I prefer to meet in person before committing to anything. Have another potential in Chicago – he’s supposed to come to the DC area next weekend. We’re going to try for dinner to see how things go. So, things are looking “positive” for me so far. We’ll see.


  409. Lizzy says:

    CM you don’t need to waste your time with someone who is unsure after two dates. He fits the mold of someone who is fickle.
    SD’s either know it or they don’t after two long dates. For every day you keep yourself hoping to turn the tides with this Pot SD, you are missing out on someone who will know he wants to be in an arrangement with you.
    Option, put him in the queue and kick your search mode back into high gear. A little distance will either make him see how wonderful you are or his true fickle-nesss will surface and he will move on as well. Never put your eggs in one basket when searching… Lizzy :)

  410. cm *420189* says:

    Thanks for your feedback.

    Him and I are both new to arrangements. He has told me that has not done this before.. except a with a previous employee who was his lover.. and she stayed on the payroll for a few years after that branch of the office closed.

    How long, in your experience, does it take for men to be clear or ready for an arrangement?

  411. NC Gent says:

    CM — NYC SB has offered you great advice. Some get at least half allowance upfront as a “probationary” period compromise prior to intimacy. Remember, no free test drives. I also think he isn’t that into you or isn’t interested in parting with his money, which means he likes his money more than the thought of helping you. Best wishes though.

  412. NYC SB says:

    CM – click on the blue link over my name… it will take you to my blog which has an entry on profiles… i hope that helps

    As far as your issue… If I can be brutally honest with you, I really am not sure if he is that into you. You have brought up the topic of allowance twice. (from what I have read) and he has balked at making a commitment. I fell like if you bring it up again he might think that you are just in it for the money.

    Here is a strategy I would suggest:

    If you truly like him I would continue to see him but just two more times. However, I would hope that you are going to withhold intimacy until he has commited to an allowance and paid it. Otherwise you risk being used for a one time “wham bam thank you m’am” If after 2 more dates he is still unsure then I would confront him on it. If he still is not ready to commit then its safe to say he is not looking for an arrangement but rather a gf experience sans allowance. During this time I would focus on getting your profile in shape (havent reviewed it but will at some point) and keep on meeting other potentials.

  413. cm *420189* says:

    oh yeah.. any feedback on my profile is welcome too :-)
    I am new here…. and I have never had an SD before (other than ex-bf).. which was far more complicated.

    I get many looks.. and few responses… I think maybe I have not shared enough of what I have to offer and maybe it is more focused about what I want.


  414. cm *420189* says:

    I have a question about this exact topic – How does negotiation and chemistry factor in to how intimate you are with a sugar? – we have chemistry and have had two long dinners.. and I am needing advice on how to negotiate the finances now.

    He jokingly stated that he wanted to construct an organic relationship.. haha. I feel the power difference and brought up that I needed clarity this second dinner. I brought it up again in the middle of the evening, and I can feel how when the arrangement is not clear and I cannot let go and relax very well. He ended up giving me some cash.. and told me he was not ready to commit to a larger sum until he was sure there was good chemistry. Which my end end of the evening there clearly was…

    I really like him and I know he wants to see me again and wants something longer-term. I can feel how I can be really sweet with him and I want to move forward.

    What are other ladies + SD experiences on how to ask for 1 month at a time and construct a probationary period? …I feel I need to come at it with more of a business sense and clear about what I want. Which honestly, I am super broke right now and I need money.. so I need to stay balanced during the discussion and not just take what he offers.

    Do you have any sugar dates or meets planned?
    Next sugar date is Tuesday or Wednesday night..

  415. Lisa's SD says:

    midwest says:
    January 8, 2010 at 2:44 pm
    Lisa- too funny. Percy may have appreciated the balcony offer more. He could have met a NYC sugar pigeon


    LoL! you have no idea!

  416. cleo says:

    ohhh or waking up long and slow on a sunday (please assume lovely intimacies here) and then lying in bed all day reading and ignoring each other (until one of you starts touching the other one again of course…)

  417. cleo says:

    anna molly one of the things i miss about having a man around is the presence of one. sure i miss the intimacy, so much it’s keeping me awake at night sometimes but it’s more. like…

    one of my exes used to come up behind me and give me a neck/shoulder massage while i washed the dishes.

    another one hated hockey but wanted to keep me company so we made a deal that he could do ANYthing he wanted while the game was on BUT block the tv… i never used to see the third period with him.

    another would tidy up in the morning before i got up because i liked to sleep longer… at MY house.

    you know, little things that aren’t about sex but are wonderful about having a man around…

  418. Well, when I do see my man, I seriously doubt hockey and football will be on his mind…at least I hope not..LOL

  419. cleo says:

    oh yeah i hear that.

    i’m not even dreaming that big, i’d be happy with a couch snuggle and a beer with the hockey/football game…

  420. I want a man too…sigh. A man to wrap his arms around me, hold me close, run his fingers through my hair and kiss me with all the passion he has in his body……yeah.

  421. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    CA Dreamin: Right here honey, lets get under that snuggie together and warm you up :)

  422. cleo says:

    i got a snuggie for christmas, forget that, i want a man

  423. CA Dreamin SB says:

    AM – It’s -12 here – wind chill, -25!!! Where is SDN with that darn snuggie!!!

  424. Where is my man? I need him to keep me warm….it’s -2 here.

  425. Morning everyone!

    Mandy ~ Thanks…I may look young, but I’m all woman 😉

    jlove ~ It is very good to be naughty 😉

  426. D D says:

    Hi Bloggers! I can’t believe I missed the last blog entry! You people move fast. I have just been so busy with work. Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines (ugh!). Glad to know everyone is well. As for me, 2010 is starting nicely, still keeping positive!

    How does negotiation and chemistry factor in to how intimate you are with a sugar?
    Chemistry is a huge factor for intimacy. While the negotiation is very important, chemistry tops it if intimacy is to ensue.

    SincereSD: How do the rest of you handle seeing people you know when on a sugar date?
    Never happened yet. But depending on which friend(s) I bump into, the circumstances surrounding us bumping into each other, and how close I am to my ‘SD’ would depend on how I handle the situation.

    Do you have any sugar dates or meets planned?
    Oh yes! The two offline potentials I was speaking of before….I’m meeting #1 tonight – he has planned a wild night out!! And #2 hopefully I’ll meet with next week when his work calms down a bit and he’s back in the country :-)

  427. jlove says:

    and molly am sure ya r nice and its good to be naughty sometimes lol

  428. jlove says:

    tnx gals for making me feel welcome

  429. Mandy(SB) says:

    (not that you’re not young, you just look super young!)

  430. Mandy(SB) says:

    AM: You look so young in your pics!

  431. Mandy(SB) says:

    Michelle: If you read this, I don’t think you should mention it.

  432. 2Chic says:

    Sw Red

    Yes I am beginning to see from his conversations. I could not understand for a minute. He kept exclaiming what an impression I made on him, so I guess his intentions was to taste the honey with seduction. As the date approached and we communicated daily, he could not go through with it, I think because his intentions were not pure. He saw how really sweet I am :)

  433. cleo says:

    Ophelia i miss her too… and i wonder if any of what she did to help you is the kind of thing you can pass on?

  434. cleo says:

    ahh what a lovely evening, hope yours was as good :)

  435. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I agree MoonPatrol I rather walk around a museum then go to a spa, seems very boring. I even hate going to get my hair done because I have to sit there so long. I have been to the Smithsonian in Washington, it was one of the best trips I have made. I used to go to museums with my grandfather when I was a child. I so enjoyed it. He was such an intelligent man and would spend hours with me explaining everything we seen.

    Chip I have come across people I know when on a sugar date. People who know me, know I have both male and female friends. I just introduce them as a friend. I also just use their first name.

    2chic. Not sure what to think of that, but he sounds like he thinks way to much lol

  436. Ophelia says:

    It must be said…

    For the record

    I really miss Flo Rida’s posts.

    I live in LA
    and loved reading what she had to say
    so well written and always full of superb advice
    (advice that got me an SD who is a Billionaire!)

    I think she is sweet, smart and rocks!


  437. Chip says:

    How does negotiation and chemistry factor in to how intimate you are with a sugar?
    Chemisty is all important. I want to get the negotiation out of the way up front and then relax and enjoy the compay of the Sugar I’m with. I strive to make the negotaition a win-win so that those issues are removed from concern.

    How do the rest of you handle seeing people you know when on a sugar date?
    While it has never happened, I would just introduce her by first name and let it go at that…. Generally we are not in locations where an encounter is likely to happen.

    Do you have any sugar dates or meets planned.
    Yes, SBs birthday is coming up in a week….

  438. MoonPatrol says:

    The spa sounds boring to me. How do you make a whole day or weekend out of that? I may be wrong but to me I would rather go walk around a museum all day then go to a room. Sorry the guy is getting all sensitive. He probably doesn’t have that Romeo feeling where there is nothing in the way of him and you!. So don’t fret its all good.

  439. 2Chic says:

    Hi Suga Fam,

    I am crushed, and getting a bit irritated about the sugar world. My spa trip has been canceled. He said since he has been dating, every female he gets involved with ends up getting hurt. He says it is because I made such an impression on him is why he has decided against the get-a-way. Does not want put me in such a situation unless he knew for sure we were going to establish a serious relationship.

    hmmmm…. I can accept that, but oh how I was looking forward to it. We still continue to communicate with each other. It is more of a casual friendship. I am beginning get that “blah” feeling again. How many more meets will there be before my “hero” shows up!

  440. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Have a good night. I’ll be going to my cold bed shortly.

  441. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I don’t work directly with customers but with a drug/gm truck on wednesday, thursday and friday night, and a grocery truck(baby supplies) on monday and thursday, along with straightning the mess and keeping up with 8 carts of backstock, we are always behind. Everytime there is a holiday my boss has to set up the promo aisle and then go to two other stores and help with theirs. This next week she will be out 2 days which means we will have 2 and a half employees.

  442. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I am off to bed, get warm under my blankets and watch tv. Have a good night all.

  443. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    We have 4 girls in the front main office. If one of us is out, it is crazy!! 4 of us is not enough on busy days. which is everyday lol

  444. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I’m off every friday but since I have to get up at 6 am saturday to work, I could never stay out late. When I was dating my ex boyfriend a couple years back, I was working at my other job so I didn’t have to be at work till 3 on saturday so we would go out on friday nights, i’d stay at his place and sleep in on saturday. Could never do that again being that I have to be at work at 7:45

  445. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I get no sick or personal days and one week of vacation a year, which I had to fight to get as they didn’t want to give me my week off that I took in December to go to NY. We simply have no employees in our department. When I started working there we had a manager, assistant manager, and two workers. The boss is in prision, the assitant manager transferred and now my coworker is the department manager and we had a new assistant manager and me. In other words, I do most of the actual work, unloading the truck, lifting heavy crates, stocking, straighting, etc. The other departments have 5-6 employees each.

  446. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Friday nights are not a good night for me to go out though. Getting up at 5:30 and how busy we are, by 10 pm I am ready to go to bed.

  447. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I am so glad I have a set schedule with weekends off. 8-5 monday through friday. In April I will get a weeks paid vacation and sick and personal days.

  448. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    If I call in sick on a work day, i’d be required to work on my next day off.

  449. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    My boss has changed my schedule from 4 8-hour days with 3 days off to 5 6-hour days which means i’m losing 2 hours but working an additional day. My days off are general monday and friday. No way to connect them and we are severely short handed but they won’t hire anyone.

  450. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    That is where we plan to keep the boat also.

    My dog had a tummy ach after that night. Guess the sausage and pepperoni he got hold of didn’t agree with him lmao. Teach him to sneak food when we are not looking lol

  451. photogirl says:

    Sweetred – I bet they both did!
    aww… how sweet. The girls would love to go out on the boat! I realized when I left your place, we kept that boat I told you about right there at that marina.

    Lisa – ewwww…
    and you need to get back out to NY asap. You know… if you ever have a to work between two days off, you could always plan a trip and then just call in sick that one day 😉 I know some are going to say that is bad to do…but if I remember correctly you are a very loyal employee and have not missed any work since you have been there… just a thought.

  452. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    lmao. I would not want to re live “the first time” experience ever again.

  453. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I just hope the women remember to remove the “made in China” sticker, lol

  454. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    China will sell anything it seems.

  455. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    really I read it in Marie Claire magazine. China is marketing them to middle eastern women so they won’t be killed on their wedding night if they’re not virgins. Kinda makes the bleeding scream mask passe

  456. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    lisa ewwwwwwwww

  457. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    maybe I could use it with one of those stick on blood squirting hymens that China is pushing on the middle eastern market. lol

  458. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Photogirl, the boys said when they get the boat going this summer , they want you and the girls to come out with us.

  459. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Lisa sheeh get a vibrator gf you need it bad lmao

  460. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Hey photogirl. LOL I think she had one heck of a hang over!! The boys said hello. They have not stopped talking about you lol. They keep asking me when you are coming over again.

  461. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    oh phone sex?

    Hi Photo girl

  462. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    One year I bought my kids bikes for christmas. I rode it through the store to the check out, then out to my car.

  463. photogirl says:

    Midwest – My those are PERKY boobies!

    Lisa – Bundle up good in the morning 😉

    Sweetred!!! – Hello :) How is lady neighbor of yours? That was pretty funny. Tell the boys I said hello!

  464. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Haha on the phone. I have never met him in person. We used to talk all the time on the phone. Then he had some things happen in his life and we lost touch. He is a good friend. He told me tonight he still owes me dinner. He plans on flying down sometime.

  465. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    My mom is like that, I have to get on to her when she tries to climb the employee ladder at home depot.

  466. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I am a joker. I love to just be silly sometimes. Life is to short to always be serious. I like spontaneous. If we are let’s say walking on the beach. I have been known to just run into the water and splash the person I am with. The man should, if he is fun. run after me and splash me back lol

  467. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    In bed or on the phone?

  468. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Lisa remember beach Bob? He called me tonight. Haven’t talked to him in months. It was really great talking to him. He always makes me laugh.

  469. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    sorry to hear that the man in your bed is irritable, lol
    What does he have to do to show you he has a sense of humour?

  470. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    [email protected] A man has to little more than just be in a bed for him to be irritable lol I am a sucker for a sence of humor.

  471. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    I’m off to snuggle with my many pillows. Goodnight!

  472. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Who can resist a man in bed, oops sorry

  473. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I love my dog, but I don’t want to cuddle up with him lol

  474. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I have no idea. Even at work they seem to know that about me. Maybe it’s the comments I make, have no idea.

    Besides, who can resist a man in uniform, I know I can’t lol

  475. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I don’t have the money to pay the big deposit and anyway I would have to walk it.

  476. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    SRH- Me too. Does it exude from us somehow?

  477. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Get a big dog. can’t snuggle your bird you may crush him.

  478. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I get those too lol. But I know the military life. I was married to a military man.

  479. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I have a body pillow but since it’s not alive, it generates no body heat.

  480. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Lisa – not what I meant at all – lol

    SRH – I always seem to attract military types, what does that say about me?

  481. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Get a big body pillow to sleep next too lisa lol

  482. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Hurricanes are fun lol. I hate the cold. Why do you think I moved south!! Not sure how I ever survived the 10 below weather I grew up with in the winter.

    On a happier note. I got mail from what seems to be a very nice man. He is a doctor. I always seem to attract doctors lol. Well I am in the medical field also :)

  483. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I’m not that fat and wide, I only take up one side of the bed, lol

  484. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Lisa – you are optimistic – keep both sides of the bed warm until better days.

    SRH – Bundle up, make some chili, and make the most of it. Sheesh – you love the excuse for a hurricane party and wimper when it gets a little chilly!

  485. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I’ve got the heat on, in my robe and know my bed will be really cold tonight. Why did I buy such a big bed when I sleep alone, brrr

  486. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I have the heat on, the fire place going and a sweat shirt on over my Pj’s. I am pathetic lmao

  487. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    LMAO trying to get the mens attentions again I see.

  488. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I wore a shirt under my scrubs and a scrub jacket. Thinking about getting long johns if this weather keeps up lol. And trust me I don’t need the extra padding under y cloths lmao

  489. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    SDN – Boobies! (<)(<)
    NC Gent – Booty ( )( )

  490. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Hi midwest. I agree, it is much better to be safe.

  491. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    My daughter wore a sweater under her scrubs today. I wear a sweater at work but since I have to wear a uniform shirt, I get cold as the sweater gets in the way when i’m working and i’ve got to take it off.

  492. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Hi SweetRed, AM, and Lisa
    Michelle – Nobody can blame you for being too safe, but I would wait until the moment was right before I reveal that I did a paid background check. he may be perfectly understanding or perfectly offended. Either way, as long as you are comfortable meting with him, the rest is a bonus. Have fun!

  493. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Our heater at the office was not working at the beginning of the week. Let me tell you scrubs are not warm!! My desk is right in front of the door and that cold air hits me every time someone comes in. These old people take forever to get in the door lol.

  494. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I don’t mind it when I can stay inside but the early mornings are going to be brutal. The store is cold too.

  495. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    glad to see your eating a little healthier lol

  496. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Pizza lol. Busy day at work, too tired to cook. IT is freezing here. in the 40’s may even snow they say. Hey now don’t say you wish it was that warm where you are. This is Florida for gawds sakes, suppose to be warm!

  497. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Trying to keep warm, it’s cold here, 25 today with a windchill of 12. It is going to be even colder in the morning when I go to work.

    What was for dinner? I had oatmeal with blueberries, snap peas, and potatoes. I need to get some groceries tomorrow, lol

  498. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I finally get my internet working ughhh this computer is going to make me nuts! And no one is here.

  499. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Hi Lisa, How are you?

  500. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Good evening Sweetredhead

  501. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    I had a pot SD get mad at me for looking him up. After about a week we contacted me again and said he understood why and apologized for getting mad. We continue to talk and have become friends.

  502. Alright…good night everybody.

  503. Sigh…I’m going into lurk mode, might go to bed early.

  504. Michelle says:

    IRLSD thanks. so u think i should say hey McD Man I know you are X and own Y because I searched your phone number. hope your not mad i just want to be safe

  505. IRLSD ~ I’m surprised you’re not out and about tonight.

  506. IRLSD says:

    Michelle, when I have looked up people like that I have always told them. If anything, they’ll know to cover their tracks better in the future. Plus, I tend towards brutal honesty (except with people I suspect cannot handle the truth and will create drama), so I’d tell him, but I guess feel him out in person first and make sure he’s not the type to have a dramatic reaction.

  507. IRLSD says:

    Belisse, lots of SBs get cash and run but they never go far. Money runs out and they’re back. It’s the ATM-type SB and when they return, the SD can ask for anything and they will say yes because they need the money. So as long as the SD is OK with this booty-call arrangement, it can work. Not my style–I make it clear to SBs ahead of time that their only shot at making it work is their first one and that there is never a second chance to make a first impression. In essence, if the relationship fails and SB is back, it always looks like she is just back for money, which is a turn-off. There should at least be the pretense that the SB is into me as a person.

  508. Michelle says:

    i have a question. i have talked to a guy on the phone. He hasn’t told me his name we have a joke going that he works at McD’s runs the fry-o-lator and a joke that I work at Hooters and he lives over a shack.

    i searched his number and ordered a background check 10 dollars and he is a President of a company that he sold for a lot of $ and found youtube video matching voice and i know what he looks like too. We are supposed to meet for dinner tomorrow Do i bring this up and tell him or wait? u think he will be angry? we r having fun joking about our lives. i also think he wants a gf more then a sb.

  509. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Taz thanks for the BREASTS. Staztziki is the best. I love greek food.

  510. NYC SB says:

    Friday spent at work… FML

  511. LOL…I like pizza, but not that much! :)

  512. 11 pounds of pizza! Wow!

  513. Hey SDN :)

    I just ate…so full…seasoned chicken BREAST (emphasis just for SDN :P), fresh salad with taztziki salad dressing (YUM!), and homemade potato wedges (very seasoned of course :P). Have some left over AM :)

  514. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    I am off and on!

    CA Dreamin: hey lover. Miss you.

  515. I’m watching man vs food….now I’m starving..LOL

  516. Hey Taz! Yay! I’m not alone :)

  517. Haha – nope I am here too – was just quiet…nothing to say to myself lol

  518. I guess I’m the only one home on a Friday night…..LOL

  519. jlove ~ My sisters are quite nice, but sometimes Naughty Molly has to set some of the bad boys around here straight 😉

  520. UncommonSB says:

    CA Dreamin: Too funny! You have mail.

  521. Belisse says:

    How does negotiation and chemistry factor into how intimate you are with a sugar?
    If a daddy is paying an okay fee, am sure nobody will want to give it their all or even try taking the intimacy to a whole new level (such as role playing, toy sampling and so on).

    SincereSD: How do the rest of you handle seeing people you know when on a sugar date?
    Not a sugar daddy but my former daddy was proud to introduce me to his friends & country club members so am sure some sugar daddies will be embarrased to do so 1. if they were married/or in a relationship 2. they just don’t feel comfortable doing so 3. they prefer to keep their baby in the background 4. there are bunch of other reasons.

    Do you have any sugar dates or meets planned?
    Yep, have a few but am definitely cancelling two because I made some discovery about two of them. Advice to all: It’s a big big world yet it’s also a small small world…be careful how you describe yourself, your lifestyle and so on because you don’t know who knows you (and you probably don’t know them). Hope i didn’t confuse anyone haha.

    Pay-per-Meet is the smartest & fairest (if that’s a word) payment plan and CASH is the best payment type. For example, if a sugar daddy is paying $10,000 per month but ends up meeting his baby once or twice a month, it sucks for him but not for the baby. On the other hand, if a sugar baby recieves an allowance of say $3,000 a month & has a daddy who practically wants all her time then it sucks for her but good for him. Some sugar babies can be tricky but wanting a monthly payment & after they recieving the payment they move onto the next victim (i must say). Same for sugar daddies who claim they’ll pay monthly but they want to meet bunch of time and you don’t see a dime then they move onto the victim (i must say again). Therefore, it’s better to agree on a monthly amount which can be paid per meet or simply agree on an amount to be paid per meet (THIS option is for the wise).

    ~I know how the SD/SB relationship works so if you are new to it or have a question, feel free to ask~

  522. CA Dreamin SB says:

    SDN – Hey there honey! How you doin???

  523. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Uncommon – way late on this, but I’m in the bay area

    If I ran into someone I knew while on a sugar date, I’d introduce them as a friend. As far as negotiation and chemistry – I’m with IRLSD – No chemistry, no arrangement – no arrangement, no hanky-panky!!!

  524. It should go without saying that intimacy is expected. Hopefully the women actually want the intimacy just as much as their SD.

  525. cleo says:

    i’m a little envious of TLG, my last pot failed to follow up after our date. *sigh* and i really liked him too.

    and nothing on the horizon. that’s no fun right?

  526. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    jlove: Anna Molly is nice but be careful of the other Molly sisters (Alluring and especially Naughty).

    TLG: Nice on the sugar plans!

  527. The Lone Gunman says:

    How does negotiation and chemistry factor into how intimate you are with a sugar?

    Both of these seem to occur naturally as the interest heats up for me and the SB. Nothing–at least from my perspective–seems forced or awkward; intimacy just happens as a natural outgrowth of this process.

    Every situation is, of course, different.

    SincereSD: How do the rest of you handle seeing people you know when on a sugar date?

    Happened once with a SB; I just hung back and let her speak. If she wanted to introduce me, she had that chance–otherwise, I faded into the background.

    Do you have any sugar dates or meets planned?


    …and with great anticipation, I might add.


  528. Anna Molly *397377* says:

    Hi jlove :)

  529. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    jlove: Welcome to the blog! We are all glad you decided to join us.

  530. jlove says:

    am new to SA ,am sure you all will help me through it

  531. WC SD says:

    Midwest: I think the most ‘bang for the buck’ feature that should be added would be having a search ability that would look through all of the blogs. Therefore newbies (or someone like me wanting to re-read a post that was from a while ago) wouldn’t need to open each blog and do a ‘CTRL-F’. As an example, searching for ‘allowance negotiation’ would bring up every blog that has had this topic discussed.

  532. WC SD says:

    How does negotiation and chemistry factor into how intimate you are with a sugar?

    There is no negotiation without chemistry. It is actually one of the first things I want to make sure is clear when talking with a POT SB is that we both need to feel chemistry before this relationship will go beyond the first meet.

    How do the rest of you handle seeing people you know when on a sugar date?

    I’m single and relatively young (mid to late 30’s) so it isn’t something I really worry about. I usually just introduce people by their name in all situations (whether it is business or social).

  533. midwest says:

    Question to all: if there were features and resources you could add to the blog, what would they be? Mind you, this is not an opp to blast Stephan, OC or SA…please be objective.

  534. midwest says:

    Lisa- too funny. Percy may have appreciated the balcony offer more. He could have met a NYC sugar pigeon :-)

  535. UncommonSB says:

    AM: I totally agree on the LDR preference.

    I have worked with, or attending functions with, many prominent people in my local community. Even if we didn’t seem to have any mutual friends or business associations, the chances are still pretty high that we would eventually run into someone locally who knows both of us.

  536. IRL SD – that is why honesty is the best policy 😉 Never have to worry about what you say!

    Will answer blog ?’s later…off to cook dinner now!

  537. UncommonSB says:

    NYGent: Oops… one more question. It’s the last one, I swear :)

  538. UncommonSB says:

    NYGent: Thank you!

  539. NYGent says:

    uncommon: you have mail

  540. UncommonSB says:

    MMD: You have mail.

    NYGent: I sent them to you.

  541. Some one is trying to connect with me on yahoo and I have no idea who the person is….I asked him, but no response. It’s driving me nuts! Hmmmm.

  542. cleo says:

    *sigh* no sugar plans here – unless going to do cardio counts as sugar?

  543. UncommonSB says:

    NY Gent: Yes, I do have a few questions. I send them to you if you don’t mind.

  544. Not running into people I know is why I would prefer a LDR. I just don’t want to have to deal with it. A perfect meeting place for me is NYC and would be very willing to meet my man there or I would meet him somewhere that isn’t a pain in the butt to fly to. I’m afraid to fly but would deal with it for the right guy :)

  545. Amanda says:

    Running into someone – An SD took me to a restaurant where he’s friendly with the owner (I guess they golf together), and he just introduced me as “Amanda”, which was fine. That’s the closest I’ve come to that situation.

    Sugar plans – I’m headed to Phoenix next weekend for some sugar! I’ve never been there before, and I’m WAY excited to thaw out from this cold Midwest weather!

  546. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    edit Sorry not sure how SincereSD ended up in my posting

  547. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    How does negotiation and chemistry factor into how intimate you are with a sugar?

    I think intimacy is expected as this is a “mutually beneficial relationship”
    Of course he did give the option of sleeping on the balcony, but it was too cold so I chose to join him in bed.

    SincereSD: How do the rest of you handle seeing people you know when on a sugar date?

    I haven’t had an issues with that as I haven’t ran into anyone I knew when I was on a sugardate and my most recent one, well I didn’t run into anyone I knew as I was 2000 miles from home, lol
    Oddly my ultra conservative family is accepting of it although they have no idea what type of relationship it is, but they didn’t throw tomatos at me when I came back from the NY trip.

    Do you have any sugar dates or meets planned?

    I hope in the near future but distance is a problem and i’m held captive by my job.

  548. NYGent says:

    Uncommon: I have a vacation home just north of bay area if you have questions about the area.

  549. IRLSD says:

    How does negotiation and chemistry factor into how intimate you are with a sugar?

    Well, no chemistry no arrangement, no arrangement no sex for me. I always make an offer and no one has turned it down or negotiated. I suppose I have only negotiated once and that was a month into a relationship when an SB told me she wanted to see me half as much and get paid twice as much. Never mind she was sitting at home with no school, no job, just living off me and twice a week for a couple of hours was too much. I actually gave in to her demand for more money but not for less time and the relationship didn’t last much longer.

    SincereSD: How do the rest of you handle seeing people you know when on a sugar date?

    The few times I’ve had SBs meet friends, my friends knew they were my SB. If I run into sommon I shouldn’t run into, well, I’ll have some random excuse.

    Do you have any sugar dates or meets planned?

    Not sure how to answer this one. One SB is long-distance and she says she will visit for Valentine’s but I am not holding my breath for it. Second SB is on vacation this week with her BF and given the fact that it’s been two weeks since we’ve seen each other, we’re kind of in limbo. She said when we get back she wants to see me for some “fun”, but again I am not holding my breath for it. We both like each other, but between my being married and her BF, it’s been hard to schedule times to meet. The SB I met last night is travelling out-of-state to meet another pot and has a few more trips planned, so I told her to get it all out of her system and if she’s ready for an arrangement (I told her the specifics) to let me know. I am meeting another pot on Monday. Honestly, it’s gotten to a point where I can barely remember people’s names, never mind keep track of what stories I have told to whom.

  550. SincereSD: How do the rest of you handle seeing people you know when on a sugar date?
    I always have my sugar dates out of town so I don’t run into people I know. To be honest I don’t know what I would do. Guess I should come up with a plan huh…LOL.

    Do you have any sugar dates or meets planned? Sigh….no :(

  551. NC Gent says:

    Hi UncommonSB — my company has an office in Burlingame, but I am not from SF. SF is my favorite big city in the US though.

    Hi Yaz!

    To answer questions, I don’t sugar date locally so I don’t see people I know when I am out.

    No sugar news for me!

  552. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Uncommon – If you would like, I can help you verify some information. I have to say at some point you have to either be comfortable with some unknowns or opt out of going. Your instincts are key here.

    How does negotiation and chemistry factor into how intimate you are with a sugar? For me, chemistry played a big part in moving into the negotiation phase quickly. He made the negotiating easy via e-mail and with the help of our wonderful bloggers. Negotiating (not price, but conditions) is so important to make sure there are no surprises, expectations are realistic and everyone is happy.

    SincereSD: How do the rest of you handle seeing people you know when on a sugar date? We agreed to introduce each other as friends.

    Do you have any sugar dates or meets planned?
    My SD is quite busy, but we took some extra time off for a fabulous Tuesday before and after the Chicago meet. I am very excited about meeting all the new sugars!

  553. UncommonSB says:

    Is anyone from SF Bay area?

  554. UncommonSB says:

    Hi Yaz!

  555. Yaz says:

    Am I first or is everyone scared of answering the questions??

    lol hi Gang :-)