9 years ago
Sugar Roll Call Twenty-Ten

9 years ago
Sugar Roll Call Twenty-Ten

To commemorate the sugarhood of seekers all across the world, let’s give ourselves a nice, warm (re)welcome.

“Hey all, I signed up yesterday and just wanted to say hi to everyone in the community! Kinda bummed I missed out on all this Chicago buzz; hope everyone has a blast! I’ve never been in a SD/SB arrangement, so forgive me as I observe and try to get my bearings! Hope to hear from some of you, I’ve just finished up my profile! – BostonSB nikki

Do you play-up or play-down certain aspects of your personality to enhance the sugar? If so, how?

What can help a Sugar Daddy arrangement stay fresh and exciting? Any tips?

Care to give your 2010 sugar introduction? What kind of sugar are you, now?

Leave a Reply

826 Responses to “Sugar Roll Call Twenty-Ten”

  1. Cali SB says:

    2Chic are you in L.A. also? I didn’t realize! You’re more than welcome to join in the prowl for IRL SD’s. :) If you have NCGent, SDN, DesertBunny or TXSB’s email address, they have mine if you’d like to email me.

    I haven’t heard anything new about the CA meet other than it’s Feb 25 and 26, but I don’t know of any SD’s that will be in attendance except for potentially one blog SD.

  2. 2Chic says:

    Hi Sugas

    Big Welcome to the Newbies.

    Could some one give me an update about the CA Meet.
    Oh, and you girls are talking about a night out, let me know too. Even though I do not know my way around town well. Sounds fun.

  3. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Well goodnight all – I’m beat!

  4. LASB says:

    gnite elegant!

  5. Elle-Shooger says:

    LASB…your friend’s SD is, in every sense of the word, a TRUE SD!! Her SD and my two SDs should write a book. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not just the gifts and allowances…there’s so much more to it than that. I think when the connection is there and you truly enjoy being together and look forward to it…the surprises are just icing! I give my SDs surprises too. They are FUN, mutually beneficial, REAL relationships; minus the drama or expectations of “So, when are we getting married?” You know what I mean?

    REALLY going to bed now!

  6. Cali SB says:

    I’ll be back in a bit (before bed). Have to go kick my friend back home’s butt in Mario Kart. :) I love that you can play people anywhere in the world!

  7. LASB says:

    Thanks Cali! Yeah, I call it ghetto rich. Another friend of mine calls it rich poor people. lol.

  8. Elle-Shooger says:

    Ok, West Coast SBs…this East Coaster is off to bed now. Waking up early. I put myself on a strict pilates and free weights work-out to get rid of holiday ‘fluff’ that appeared out of nowhere. Egads. Have to keep a SB bod (and brains) to keep those SDs happy! :) Sweet, syrupy, dreams!

  9. LASB says:

    Elegant – This guy is totally like that. When we find ourselves in the same city, he always asks me to join them on whatever adventures and pays for all of it. He’s so generous and not petty or not asking for anything in return when he takes us out. He buys her so much stuff, she’s turning stuff down half the time. We were at a store and he said he wanted to get her these 1k Blahnik boots on the shelf, and she’s like “No, they aren’t something I’d wear,” and they were beautiful. She wouldn’t even try them on. She often has to have him buy an extra suitcase for all the stuff he purchases her.

  10. Cali SB says:

    LASB — as my cousin puts it.. lots of $30,000 millionaires in L.A.!

    Stephan can you share my email with LASB please??

    I don’t know if that’ll work, but I’ve seen other people request that way, so let me know if you get it or not. :)

  11. Cali SB says:

    Dillian Flower Pumps they’re called. Super cute! I love stilettos, I could wear them all day everyday. I can even run in them. :)

  12. Cali SB says:

    They’re the shoes with the red soles! I love those!

    There’s a red pair with a flowery type thing on it that I love — Britney Spears has them on in her If You Seek Amy video I believe.

  13. LASB says:

    Cali – go to the barneys new york website and then find the shoes there by looking under christian louboutin. that will give you an idea.

  14. Elle-Shooger says:

    That’s awesome about your friend’s SD, LASB! That is EXACTLY the type of experience I had with mine…they were very giving not only to me, but also to my friends. I mean, even offering to send me and my girlfriends on all-expense paid weekend trips. It really is an amazing experience once you find the RIGHT one. I am still great friends with my first one(had dinner with him and his new SB last week) and definitely keeping in touch with my second one (it just ended). The first one ended mutually because we did become such great friends and that spoiled the romance after a while and he really likes to change his SBs up every few months anyway, the second one I ended because he began to develop feelings I could not reciprocate fully because I am just not wanting a serious relationship right now in my life; NSA only.

    Hang in there…you will find the RIGHT one and you will be so happy you didn’t settle! :)

  15. LASB says:

    Cali – I am soooo down to hit the town! I haven’t heard from DB in a while, so just have stephen pass my email to you, or vice versa. I don’t know Stephen’s email.

  16. LASB says:

    Elegant – Also, LA is not the kind of money people think. It’s not like in NYC where there is serious dinero. A lot of it is for show. There could be a guy driving a high end sports car, but it’s a lease and he’s living on his mom’s couch. So people think there’s tons of money b/c there’s tons of flash, but I’ve met guys who seem to be super high rollers living a first class life, but they are in massive debt.

  17. Cali SB says:

    I didn’t even know what Louboutins were (though I know there’s a song about it) until I read NYC SB’s blog 3 days ago and I still don’t even know what they look like. haha I think I’ll google it now.

  18. Cali SB says:

    Elegant — Never seen that movie! I think it’s On Demand right now though and I was planning to watch it this coming week. I will have to now! :)

    I think there are many quality SD’s in L.A. but I honestly believe that many true SD’s here prefer to meet SB’s IRL as opposed to this site. A girl I know was talking to me last weekend about how all of her close group of girlfriends are “dating” these really wealthy men — i.e. one has 3 jets and took them all to Vegas a couple weekends back, though my friend didn’t go. I’m still trying to figure out where I need to hang out to meet these men here in L.A. A lot of expensive hotel bars, I hear, are good places, though those are probably out-of-towners. Not sure where else. It’s hard to go out and look that way though when your friends aren’t looking to sugar date or don’t know that you are and it’s not really something to do alone (I feel like it kinda looks more escort-ish). LASB, I think we need to team up and find some of these places to go hang out and look for pot’s. :)

  19. LASB says:

    ElegantSugar – I’m sure there are some quality SDs in LA somewhere, but I haven’t been able to connect with any of them. Yes, you figure in a city with 8 mil plus people, there’s gotta be someone somewhere. It’s a tough playing field though. So many of these guys want young college girls and struggling actresses and models, and I’m none of those. And wow, your story is inspiring. I’ve never been spoiled like that, though funny enough, my friend’s SD (who is also my friend) has given me a few very nice gifts, including Louboutins!

  20. Elle-Shooger says:

    Totally understand about the cooking, Cali. I always think of the movie, “Must Love Dogs” when I’m standing by my kitchen sink eating a Lean Cuisine. Ha ha. If you haven’t seen the movie…never mind.

    LASB – Wow. I can’t believe there aren’t quality SDs in L.A. :(

  21. Cali SB says:

    LASB — NC Gent, SDN, DesertBunny and TXSB have my email address if you have any of their contact info to get it from them. If not, let me know and I’ll ask Stephan to share it with you.

    Mine’s not so great. I’ve actually not had a single pot date. I’ve emailed a bit with a few men but they’ve all disappeared for one reason or another. I admit I’ve only been on here about 2 months and I wasn’t so great about logging in or getting back to messages the first month, but since the New Year I’ve been really adament about it. I’ve sent some messages out as well (it’s hard to be seen in L.A. if you don’t) but I’ve noticed a large majority aren’t read or those people haven’t logged in in months. It’s really hard to search CA when there are so many results to sift through and without photos on most profiles it’s hard to remember who you have and haven’t messaged, at least for me, because I don’t always have time to message people right away when I see their profile.

  22. Elle-Shooger says:

    Good night, Gail! Happy Sweet SUGAR dreams to you as well! <3

  23. Cali SB says:

    haha I know, I thought about that! The reason I got the TV dinner was because it had broccoli in it and I love broccoli. The chicken parm part was pretty good too, but I love me some broccoli! :)

    I’m a pretty good cook with things that I know how to cook and I really enjoy it, but it’s just not as fun without someone else to cook for. Even when you cook something that doesn’t taste so great, it’s always a great feeling when someone tells you how much they love the food you made. :)

  24. LASB says:

    Cali – The LA poofage rate is HUGE!!!! The ones who don’t poof are really undesirable for various reasons. If you ever want to discuss off the blog, please hit me up. I’m wondering if we’ve run into some of the same members and could save each other some time and energy.

    That being said, today’s guy was hot. Didn’t seem into the allowance though and nothing was solidified. Just a low pressure meet and greet. How is your search going?

  25. Elle-Shooger says:

    Ha ha, that’s funny about the dog food. In actuality, it is probably healthier for you too than your frozen dinner!

  26. Elle-Shooger says:

    Oh, okay…Cali SB. I see now. I was wondering! Because in my one year experience, I have collected more high-end gifts from TWO SDs than all of my relationships combined throughout the years! True story. :)

  27. Cali SB says:

    Elegant — Oh no, that yogurt was amazing! I made a TV dinner for dinner because I had been out all day (had a job interview in the city). This new dog food I got her (different flavor, not brand) is Chicken and Sweet Potato and it’s natural and organic so it actually smells good. I just feel a little weird about thinking dog food smells good! lol

  28. Gail says:

    Elegant Sugar….I can honestly say my experiences were much the same…with a true SD you need not ask…they always seem to know what makes a SB happy : ) Good nite all…5 more minutes till my nightly sugar call. Happy sugar dreams!!!

  29. Elle-Shooger says:

    Cali SB – so you’re saying your dog’s food smelled better than lemon torte yogurt? ha ha! Kidding! Just catching up on ALL the posts and my mouth watered when I read your post about the yogurt!

    I think I am the only East Coaster on right now…

  30. Cali SB says:

    Elegant — Sorry if my post was confusing, I put “sugar or not” because I didn’t want to sound like I was only talking about sugar dating. I have never had a SD so I haven’t been in a situation to be surprised other than by a bf. I didn’t realize how that sounded til you just said that. Ooops!

  31. Cali SB says:

    I just fed my dog. Is it weird that her food smells better than what I made for myself?

    WCB, the theme of the CA meet! :) Speaking of, where has DesertBunny been?

  32. Elle-Shooger says:

    I cannot believe some of the posts above from the SBs…never having received surprises?!?! REALLY???

    I agree with what someone else said above, hold out for the REAL SD. I have been in two arrangements (not at the same time) and BOTH SDs showered me with surprises all the time. Shoes, handbags, Gift Certificates to VS, Wine, etc. I’m not bragging, I just want you ladies to know that a quality SD will be happy to give you surprises; they love it. I don’t request it, I don’t even hint about it (they are doing enough already with allowances and trips), but they also ENJOY seeing our eyes light up and the smiles on our faces with surprises too. (I probably should have saved all of that for the new post when comments open up, but I just HAD to say something NOW.)

  33. CA Dreamin SB says:

    YEA West Coast Boobies! We should have shirts made 😉 LOL

  34. Cali SB says:

    hahaha LASB, I completely agree. How is your SD search coming along? Have you had any SD’s from this site previously? I’ve had a lot of poofage.

  35. LASB says:

    *There seems to be no…
    Typos. yuck.

  36. LASB says:

    Yeah, there seem to no Y chromosomes from the West on this blog. I guess it’s just boobies out here.

  37. LASB says:

    Well, it’s that there are so few of us West Coasters. By the time we are around and have time to chat, the east coast is asleep.

    No kidding, Taylor!!! Seriously!!! Spill it, honey. 😉

  38. Gail says:

    You don’t get any blog attention…so sad Calif SB : )
    At least they answer your post. Sometimes SBs and SDs forget their manners. Also keep in mind some of them are east coast, we are west coast: )

    Lisa…..where are you…I know you are not sleeping yet…the night is still young.

    LOL….AM….your other personalities keep coming out…lol…it sure livens everything : )

  39. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Cali – people deserting the blog happens all the time when I show up or Midwest shows up…oh well – I find you irrisistable! 😛

    Taylor – you can’t just say that and go!!!

  40. Taylor says:

    Not only was the CEO into me, but the chairman of the board. Sigh. Details tomorrow.

  41. Cali SB says:

    CA — lol I’m sure it’s you and not me. I don’t get much blog attention. Usually once I come on everyone leaves. I think it’s a sign.

  42. Cali SB says:

    re: my other post. $130 was after tax (so less than $120 pre-tax) and $370 was pre-tax, so the deal was even better than it sounds.

  43. CA Dreamin SB says:

    JSO – I thought you were going to bed? Are Cali and I that irrisistable that you keep coming back? 😉

  44. Cali SB says:

    JSO — I realize that’s not the point of the meets, but there could have been sparks after meeting in person. It could have been a beautiful sugar bowl/blog fairy tale. :) I was just curious, sorry.

  45. Cali SB says:

    CA — haha The closest I have are Coach purses, which I like quite a bit. I love going to the Coach outlet. I got 2 purses there last summer (right before I lost my job) for $130 each that were regularly $370 each. They were on clearance, half off that price, and then an additional 20% off. You can’t beat that. I’m a huge deal queen. :) Now if they would only open a LV outlet!

  46. JSO - TXSD says:

    Cali SB – No. That is not what meet and greets are about unless someone has a blog crush. They are about entertaining the SB’s on the blog and making face friends with people on the blog. It is a great thing to go and do if you can do it.

  47. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Make that – my sister and me – I’m getting tired!

  48. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Cali – Isn’t that the truth (re: spending 1K on a purse). My dad used to bring my sister and I Gucci purses all the time…I look at them now and choke at the price tag! :)

  49. Cali SB says:

    JSO – The one I like is only $1000, I guess that’s a steal as far as the average price goes. :) Nite!

  50. Cali SB says:

    Oh, I’ve been wondering.. JSO and SDN. Did either of you find a pot SB at the Chicago meet??? :) :) :)

  51. JSO - TXSD says:

    CALI – SB – as an old guy who has bought them they are 1500.00 and above, wallet 600.00 and above.
    That is why you need to hold out for the real deal on a SD.
    Good night every one and take care.

  52. Cali SB says:

    I’m craving cheese rice snacks and broccoli. :(

    JSO — Are you and James coming to the CA meet? I don’t want to speak for anyone else, but I believe your other SD counterpart at the Chicago meet is coming. :)

  53. Cali SB says:

    out of a car trunk I meant..

  54. Cali SB says:

    CA – I don’t know if you have 99 Cent Only stores up near you, but that’s where I got them. I stocked up! haha I got some Chocolate Raspberry and Triple Berry the other day and they were also delicious, but the lemon are my favorite!

    Molly – Me neither. I’ve actually never been surprised with a gift EVER in my life (other than birthday or holiday), sugar or not. The closest I’ve ever gotten was flowers an ex picked from some yards on his walk to my apartment in college. It’s pretty sad, actually! lol

    JSO – The only LV purse I would be able to afford would be one that’s sold out of the trunk in a Wal*Mart parking lot. :) The one I really like at the store on Rodeo Drive is $1k. Even if I had the money I don’t think I could get myself to spend that much on a purse, unless it was a sugar gift of course. :)

  55. Anna Molly says:

    JSO ~ I wish I could have been there :(

  56. JSO - TXSD says:

    Well that sounds like a good deal.

  57. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Well, JSO, I dont see why not – the walmart that I used to live near, you could go buy prescription drugs in the parking lot – why not LV purses!

  58. JSO - TXSD says:

    Can you buy an LV purse in Wal-Mart parking lot

  59. JSO - TXSD says:

    Can you buy and LV purse in Wal-Mart parking lot?

  60. JSO - TXSD says:

    MOLLY MOLLY MOLLY we missed you in chicago. I think that I was bad

  61. CA Dreamin SB says:

    NM – May I just second that??? SERIOUSLY!!! I’ve never come across a man who has the sense to buy me an LV purse to get me to go out with him! 😉 LOL

  62. Naughty Molly says:

    Cali SB ~ I have never in my life ever had anyone surprise me in that manner with anything….ever! :)

  63. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Cali – I’ve been wondering about those Yoplait Lemon Delights – I’ll have to get some!

  64. Naughty Molly says:

    No, I haven’t been behaving….behaving is something I don’t know how to do. I even have a hard time typing the word…LOL.

  65. Cali SB says:

    SBs — would you consider an SD who states in his profile that is annual income is $50k to $75K; his net worth is $100k to $200k, and his budget is $1k to $3k per month?

    I personally wouldn’t consider a SD in this range because I live in Los Angeles. I would assume any SB in NYC probably would agree. It’s barely possible to support yourself on $50k to $75k here, let alone support another person (who doesn’t live with you)at $1k to $3k a month.

    I remember being able to live well on $15k a year when I was in college. Those were the days. I think my rent and other bills alone are double that now in L.A. It’s crazy.

    BTW, Lisa, if you’re here. I thought of you yesterday. One of my neighbors told me that she heard gunshots behind the apartment complex 2 nights ago (I wasn’t home) and the first thought that came to my mind was “I feel like Lisa!”. :) I don’t mean that offensively whatsoever, I just thought it was kinda funny that I felt like what you describe as your own experiences on here. :)

    What is with that new blog? Wow. With how many emails the certified members get, it really surprises me that one would just randomly send a pot SB a LV purse as a gesture to get her to go out to dinner with him. Maybe I’m the only person that seems odd to. Would any of you SDs do that for a pot you haven’t met? I have to admit, I’m a bit jealous, I’ve always wanted a LV purse. haha :)

    BTW – on a completely unrelated note. I just ate a Yoplait Delights Lemon Torte yogurt and OH MY GOD it is absolutely delicious. It seriously tastes like lemon meringue pie without crust. It doesn’t even taste like yogurt and it’s only 100 calories. I bought 7 4-packs today. haha :)

  66. CA Dreamin SB says:


  67. JSO - TXSD says:

    mail again

  68. JSO - TXSD says:


  69. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Okay – seriously – they need to get that new blog up and running!

  70. JSO - TXSD says:

    midwest you know what is really sad. at the meet and greet all the stuff I talked about is from having to listen to all of it. My expertise is how and why for WWI and WWII(which I am sure James knows too)….lol
    Which is also borring guy stuff.
    Hope you are doing well tonight.

  71. JSO - TXSD says:

    Midwest you should have seen the book I sent to IRLSD. I am now after meeting you trying to be a mother hen(lol). Tell james I have two guys monday or Tuesday that are going to email him(gun funactics). Which will mean less time for you. I hope I am just kidding. They are just like james.

  72. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Hi JSO. I think everyone is waiting for the new blog to go live. You have been sharing great advice yesterday!

  73. JSO - TXSD says:

    I see Molly is not behaving tonight
    hello all
    Hope everyone is ok tonight.

  74. Elle-Shooger says:

    Thanks for the blogging and searching advice! So basically, we all become expert P.I.s from our experience here! Ha ha. I cannot wait to post on the next topic! I have had some amazing SD surprises. *I’m smiling now reminiscing with myself!!*

  75. Gemini29 says:

    LASB – Hehehe, I didn’t read that. Sometimes I don’t read the blog its entirety… I agree, SO MUCH to scroll through!!

    I took a break from SA about a month ago for about a month and a half due to work….did I read or re-read a single blog from that time period? Oh hell no!! Man that would have taken me foreeeever. lol 😀

  76. LASB says:

    Ok, time for me to start my evening, Sugars. Thanks for the company and all the feedback on the myriad of sugar issues I’ve been presenting this week. As always you’ve given so many great ideas and wonderful advice! Muah!

  77. LASB says:

    Gemi — yeah, that’s what I meant by the new blog is such a tease!! I like that your question is the topic.

  78. LASB says:

    ElegantSugar – I actually gave up trying to read old blogs for info. At the risk of being annoying, I just ask what I want to know. More often than not, someone says “well, that was already discussed, go look for it.” and I think, there must be over 100,000 posts now. If you do the math, it’s about 1000k posts on average per blog, and then about 100 blogs or so. Are you kidding me?!!! So I started using google to find things and I’m getting better at it. Imagine being up for a research position and they ask you what your job experience is, and you tell them how you became an expert at google via this blog. lol.

  79. Gemini29 says:

    Ok so there is a new blog, but we can’t comment on it…. iiiiiinteresting.

    Midwest SB says “My suggestion would be to let him know you still want to get to know him a little better, but find that you are having naughty fantasies about him (j/k).”

    Oh piddles, you mean I can’t tell him about the naughty fantasies?!!! Darnnit!!

  80. MoonPatrol says:

    Elegant Sugar——-try the END key top drop down to the last entry. Other than that I don’t know many other short cuts.

    THE MAIN THING with sending replies is to ask the other person a question about something so their energies have a focus. I sometimes go blank when I’m writing someone for the first time and have to be really creative to come up with something. I’m talking with a POT SB from Mexico who found me and she’s got a dynamic range in her writing because she covers multiple topics fast.

  81. LASB says:

    ElegantSugar – yes, you are right. it can be a lot, but it’s usually 10 – 30 from the bottom, versus 640 from the top. Crazy, I know. Heck some of the blogs are like 1300 comments before a new one comes up.

  82. TexasSugah says:

    Mistress – WOW ok I didn’t think about that. I’m on a different site and those guys.. wow

    Totally different vibe, they want girlfriends so it’s like.. we want you to want, not need us.

    Heck yeah.. I’m in grad school and I have an autistic kid. I need help.

    I will make those changes.. NOW


  83. Elle-Shooger says:

    Thanks for the help, LASB! :)

  84. Elle-Shooger says:

    That just takes you to the bottom…with all the chatterboxes on here (me, included), by the time I refresh, there can be up to TEN new comments! Well, I guess I can look at it as being a great sign of this being a wonderful network of people with sincere, common interests. (always find the positive, right?)

  85. LASB says:

    Oh, another word of advice, navigationally speaking… People often ask how to find old blog topics. You can do a google search to find things on this blog. That has been pretty effective for me, esp if you know the poster’s name. You type the person’s name, “sugar daddy blog” and the topic, and various listings come up.

  86. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Opening lines – In the vague profiles, look to see if you have been to their location. You can share a quick, entertaining story about the visit or compliment a particular museum/restaurant/venue. I tend to ask open-ended questions like “How is your search going” if there is nothing else.

    For more detailed profiles, I will ask specific questions about some statement he made.

  87. LASB says:

    Elegant – someone on here suggested you do a command F/control F and do a word find for “leave a reply.”

  88. LASB says:

    Wow, the new blog is a total tease!!!

  89. Elle-Shooger says:

    HOLY COW! This blog is a little OUT OF CONTROL. Ha ha! Have the administrators considered making the format more like a social forum? You know a discussion type forum with threads and all subjects/comments are grouped together? I don’t know about all of you, but my index finger falls asleep just scrolling to the recent comments!! And sometimes it scrolls to quickly and a skip a few comments and have to scroll back up. Geesh. Does anyone else have this problem? Is there an easier way to navigate through this blog? So sorry I haven’t added much other than tid-bits of my thoughts, but still “feeling” my way around this SugarLand Blog.

  90. LASB says:

    TexasSugah – I read everything in orange, but only write to 1 in 30 or 40. I don’t have a type, but something has to resonate with me. If all they say is “trying this out, I promise I’m fun.” I don’t write to them.

  91. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Texas – I like MoonPatrol’s suggestions. Other than that, I would suggest you modify the sentences:
    so I’m not a drop of the hat traveler BUT I yearn for nights with my lover on getaways”
    Maybe change it to a positive…I have my passport and look forward to ocassional travel.
    “I hope that you’ll not be intimidated by a woman who is keen on having an exciting intimate life.” I said something to the effect of “I’m looking for a passionate lover…”
    Lastly, it’s a little thing, but try not starting all your sentences with “I”.

    You are very confident and have a lot to offer. This needs to balance a bit for the SD who will ask himself “how can I improve her quality of life?” Many SDs will like that you’re drama free and can pay your bills, but I have heard it said by others that they want to give an allowance to someone who can really use it to accomplish goals. Perhaps put your current activities down as goals. Share more about what you are seeking and more on what you can offer.

  92. LASB says:

    Midwest – Nice quote! :) Yes, I will just live in my own personal midwinters night dream of disciplining and other such frivolities. hehe. Though I’m in LA, so I guess I do live the mIdsummers night dream. It was in the 70s today and for most of the week. Must be global warming. 😉

  93. TexasSugah says:


    Things that vibe.. a lot of the profiles that I have read are very short and not a lot of info.

    What have you been reading???

    And do you look for a certain demographic or do you just kinda scroll through. I look for a certain age group 40-55.

  94. TexasSugah says:

    Moon – Thanks for the critique.. really

    Now to what you said about wanting a younger woman. You might be right about your past. I know that I am attracted to older men because of my first experiences.

    I also didn’t have the wild thing going on. Even now my SD, when I get one, will be one of the VERY few men that I’ve been with.

    I’m worried about being too inexperienced in the ol sack-o LOL

  95. LASB says:

    TxSug – Since I only write guys who say something that I vibe with on their profile, I make a comment on that. Something like “I love how you mentioned … on your profile, since I’m also into …” The overall msg is usually pretty short and superficial. I rarely get past the pic exchange, so I don’t see the point of getting into my whole life story.

  96. TexasSugah says:

    Heck no..

    Anyone can let me know what they think.

    And I’m not getting any response..=-(


  97. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    LASB – Point taken
    If we shadows have offended,
    Think but this (and all is mended),
    That you have but slumber’d here,
    While these visions did appear.
    And this weak and idle theme,
    No more yielding but a dream,
    Gentles, do not reprehend.
    But to understand this dream–to have all its

    I could not post to the new blog yet…topic is great though!

    NEOhio – I didn’t know what BCD meant.

  98. TexasSugah says:

    I agree about the making first contact. I was always taught to let the guys come to you but.. that doesn’t work.

    I’ve changed my email contact approach.. very flirty.. a little suggestive.

    What do you SBs use as an opening line??

  99. CA Dreamin SB says:

    BCD=behind closed doors

  100. NEOhio SB says:

    LASB ~~ Got the same “comments are closed” message.

  101. LASB says:

    NEOSB – No worries. I actually thought about that for a while when reading it. It’s the first time I’ve seen it too.

  102. NEOhio SB says:

    LASB ~~ Thanks…the few glasses of barolo plus transmitting some sales tax returns are boggling my mind to figure that one out……..!!!

  103. LASB says:

    Tried to migrate, but for me it says “comments are closed.” Anyone else having that trouble?

  104. LASB says:

    NEOSB – behind closed doors. IMO, it’s better to spell that out. Acronyms seem sort of “professional.”

  105. NEOhio SB says:

    Sugars…….New Blog…shall we migrate over there???

  106. MoonPatrol says:

    Texas Sugar::
    Ist para,;
    Have you followed the rules in life set by other people and find yourself still looking for more? Do you miss the appreciation felt when someone sees how you sacrificed the comfort of being complacent for being a success? Why not step out of the box and be true to yourself. If you’ve felt this way before, then read on.

    Something like that. I just don’t think men enjoy the place of “balance” and function better when things go up and down a little. For me balance is what I kind of want to drift away from. Routine makes me feel old.
    “he’s the most important person on the planet..” Change it to “galaxy”, but that may be too horoscope-like, but hey there are lots of planets in the galaxy!

  107. LASB says:

    Midwest – I should clarify… I’m not saying to worry that James might stray. It’s more that those types of blog posts contribute to some serious global warming, especially if seen by enough dominant eyes! Would you mind being more environmentally conscious?!! 😉

  108. NEOhio SB says:

    Texas ~~ Id be happy to give you my input, but are you seeking only the SD’s advice? And…….scratching my head at the moment..Help me….what does BCD stand for???

  109. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Texas – are you only looking for SDs advice?

  110. LASB says:

    TexasSugah — Such a spicy profile! I’m curious to see what the SDs say. Thanks for sharing!

  111. LASB says:

    MIdwest – One more thing, he may not be the ideal SD, but he could very well be the ideal LTR. Of course that remains to be seen, but I’m not ruling that out as a possible option, being that my situation should be turning around soon. In his defense he doesn’t seem to be a cheapskate. Even the way he talked about it, he didn’t come off like a fake, as some of these “no allowance” guys often do. Finally, I AM still keeping my options open, since he didn’t say one way or another that he had decided about me or that I needed to about him. For all I know he could turn into a poof daddy.

    Jaguar, yikes. that just sounds sooooo old. My great uncle had one (the car, I’m not talking about my great aunt. lol.) He was old. I hope I never get called that.

    AM – How could anyone be offended by you? You’re so sweet! :)

  112. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Beach – Hi Kitty!

    Elegant – LMAO

  113. TexasSugah says:

    Can someone critique my profile???? Gail said maybe a SD here could let me know what they think??

    Are you the type of man who has everything but wants balance in his life?
    Have you cared for everyone but left nothing for yourself? Have you thought about bending society’s dating rules and stepping out of the box? If so, read on.

    Race is not important but your love for life and passion is.
    I am an educated, driven woman who is seeking an intimate friendship with an older gentleman who is looking to spice up his life. I am trilingual and pursuing a second advanced degree. I am affectionate and believe in treating the ONE man I’m involved with like he’s the most important person on the planet.

    Whispers, caresses and soft kisses are the language we’ll share until we have the opportunity to explore each other BCD. I hope that you’ll not be intimidated by a woman who is keen on having an exciting intimate life. I love fine dining, all types of music and learning about new cultures. I am fulfilled in my career so I’m not a drop of the hat traveler BUT I yearn for nights with my lover on getaways. You’ll find me easy to talk to, honest and discreet.

    Really. Sensuality, intellect, and a playful nature. Can I be yours?

    Thanks ya’ll

  114. LASB says:

    NEOhio SB and Midwest — Thanks again for your advice. Actually, I typically disclose why I’m on the site, because I’m honest and open, and that seems to be everyone’s first question addressing the “elephant in the room.” Note that I don’t give any details. I either say, I have some business debt I’d like to pay down, or I’m at the end of a lawsuit that is getting expensive and so I’d like to supplement my income. If they ask for details, I usually just crack a joke saying something like “Don’t worry, I’m the plaintiff, it’s legit, and not being charged for murder or a Ponzi scheme. Anyhow, I think we should talk about more fun things, since that’s what this is about, right?” And then I ask them a leading question that totally diverts their attention.

  115. MoonPatrol says:

    Heres something with an analogy at the end.
    It is personal but here goes, when I was 17 i had my first experiences with a girl near my age and it was mostly petting because I didn’t feel right about going to #4 in my Dads house! as the years went on and I didn’t have many sexual experiences in my teens and was always at a loss for my desires were never fulfilled. THAT may be why I am interested in in relationship with a woman 25 years my junior. This is self-Psychology. Now the analogy : In AA meetings I learned that when an alcoholic falls off the wagon, he is said to be “doing research”. Maybe i’m doing the same.!?

  116. Elle-Shooger says:

    Sooo many posts, I didn’t read all of them thoroughly, but wanted to comment on the Cougar – Puma comments. Minor correction: When a woman hits her 50’s (and pursues young, hot, bod) she is now known as a Jaguar. Either that, or it’s the Jag she gets in the divorce. 😉

  117. Beach_Girl says:

    Midwest~ how are you sugar girl!!! xoxo…

    Anna, Molly~ hi!

    Hi everyone

    Welcome Newbies!

  118. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    LASB – Lol…I’m not worried 😛
    MoomPatrol – He’s called a SD

    LASB – (again)- He doesn’t need to know about the legal battle, but I do see where the allowance would be helpful. That’s a tough one to guage. Do what you feel is right. I will say don’t settle if you think he’s not an ideal SD or at least close. I know it’s a tough search, but you will be disappointed if he doesn’t meet what you are looking for.

  119. Anna Molly says:

    I didn’t mean anything by the perv comment, if I offended anyone I apologize. I wasn’t being serious at all! Thought I should get that out there just incase someone thought that it was a serious comment. I know I said I was kidding, but some may not believe me…LOL :)

  120. NEOhio SB says:

    LASB ~~ Appreciate your disclosure. Again, only YOU know what you really want and need in an arrangement……so don’t settle for anything less. IF the financial assistance is truly at the priority of your list….keep your options open at this point, if this POT in no way shape or form wants to help directly with $$ and that is something that you really want and need. Gifts are nice and having being wined and dined is also very nice, but you can’t trade the gifts in for $$ that will really help you. Inhale what you have, but keep an open mind.

  121. LASB says:

    NM and Moon – In my 20s I dated a guy in his 40s and yeah, he was a perv, but I sort of liked it. lol.
    Hmm, maybe I’m a Puma. The ridiculously hot movie star boy has been trying so hard lately. He’s sooooo young, fresh, and naive, and so I give him the attitude of, “little boy, you have no business being with a real woman like me,” but secretly, my ego is jumping off the walls.

  122. LASB says:

    MM of the Dark- You should really be careful what you post here. Some of us more Dominant types might start getting overly excited. 😉

  123. MoonPatrol says:

    Molly i knew that was coming. I was thinking the answer unfortunately might be you call a guy like that…Rich.

  124. LASB says:

    Geez, I’m so ramble-y today. Sorry guys. :( I guess I should proofread and edit so I can stop having diarrhea of the keyboard. LOL

  125. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Dear Miss Molly,

    James does require some “extra” attention and will respond well to strict discipline. He does want to please and will work hard making sure he gives you great results. Positive reinforcement is strongly recommended when satisfaction is achieved.

    Miss Midwest

  126. Alluring Anna says:

    Oh my goodness! I have to apologize for my sister..she is full of herself tonight. Shame on you Molly for saying such a thing! Maybe one of these SD’s should take you down to the cellar and give you a taste of your own medicine!

  127. LASB says:

    Midwest – As always, thanks for your perspective. Ohhh, if only my bills were as simple as utilities, school and cell. Maybe this is too personal to be sharing on the blog, but I’m a rather open and honest person, so here goes. I’m in what should be the tail end of an intense legal battle that has taken my accounts down from 6 figures to 3 figures. I’m not looking for him to pay for that. As the plaintiff, I knew the potential expense. Come to think of it, in a month or two, I might be ecstatic to have someone paying my phone service. I haven’t yet run up the credit cards, but that’s only b/c the lawyer doesn’t take CCs. CC debt freaks me out anyhow. (I mean, I’m on this site thinking, well, this is rather hookerish, but would I rather be hookerish or have the CC debt collectors calling me? And well, since I’m here, you know the answer. LOL!!) So really I started looking on SA because I’d love to be able to get a haircut, a gym membership, eat something better than cereal and soymilk, and basically go back to living the reasonable and stress free life I once had. On the other hand, I know that once this is over, even if I don’t get a damn penny when I’m done (though I already know I will do well) I can reallocate my time and energy and re-earn all the money and again create a comfortable space for myself.

    So my thinking is that as much as I live for the moment, I also don’t want to be short sighted. NEOhio SB, you make a great point that if he’s a great guy, maybe it’s better not to throw him back in the pond. Maybe by summer, I will have turned the situation around and wish that I had pursued this guy. On the other hand, maybe then I will miss out on meeting just as great of a guy who also is down with the program. Well, the universe has a way of telling me one way or another, so I think I’m just going to put one foot in front of the other and leave it at that.

  128. Naughty Molly says:

    Hey, they don’t call me Naughty for nothin’ :)

  129. CA Dreamin SB says:

    OUCH! Molly! BAD GIRL!!! 😉

  130. NEOhio SB says:

    NM ~~ Funny thing is i play tennis on a womans league every week and actually wear a pair of “Puma” tennis shoes….now every time i play, Ill be looking at the shoes the women wear and Pumas will have an entirely diff. meaning, thanks to your posting tonite. :)

  131. Naughty Molly says:

    MP ~ I’m not sure what you would call a guy like that….. a perv maybe.

    I am kidding! Don’t take that seriously guys!

  132. Naughty Molly says:

    LOL….you’re welcome NEOhio :)

  133. MoonPatrol says:

    What is a guy in his mid to late 40’s who dates a woman in her 20 ‘s. A Zebra?

  134. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Hi Midwest! James is in trouble!

  135. NEOhio SB says:

    NM ~~ Okay so a Puma is a woman in her 30’s after the hot bod early 20’s guy and a Cougar is a woman in her 40’s or 50’s after the hot bod early 20’s guy ???………..Got it!!! Geesh…New word for the day…thanks NM.

  136. NEOhio SB says:

    NM ~~~ ROFLMAO…you are too funny.

  137. Naughty Molly says:

    NEOhio ~ A puma is a woman in their mid to late 30’s who date men in their early 20’s. I saw the article on the front page of MSN the other day and found it quite amusing. I had never heard of the term either….LOL.

  138. Naughty Molly says:

    Dear Midwest,
    It has become apparent that James is a hellion so I will have to sit him in the front of the class. Thank you for sending in a not giving me liberty to dish out any punishment I find suitable. If he doesn’t straighten out I will need you to come in for a SB/teacher conference in the future. I will send a note if we need to schedule. Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

    Miss Molly

  139. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    NEOhio – We must be twins :-)

    Hi CA Dreamin!

  140. NEOhio SB says:

    NM ~~ So what differentiates between Pumas and Cougars ?? Honestly, i have never heard of Pumas.

  141. NEOhio SB says:

    Hi LASB ~~ It is truly your own call as to what you really need and want in an arrangement. However, if the chemistry is great and he is great guy to be around, willing to provide some things to you….I would absolutley consider pursuing him. Honesty and being upfront are essential and maybe if he does know that a tad of financial assistance would really help you, he would be willing to provide such once the arrangement continues and he realizes what an incredible SB you are to him.

  142. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    LASB – This is truly up to you. He could fall into the gift daddy type of SD…are you good with that? The nice thing is that you enjoy each other. Once again, being up front and honest about needs/wants on both sides is so important…don’t be afraid to bring up money. Perhaps a compromise is if he could help pay a few of your bills (cell, utilities, school) to ease your financial burden. It’s something he can have charged to his credit card or pay online without the real exchange money.

  143. CA Dreamin SB says:

    NC Gent – Congrats! That’s awesome. Good luck :) Hope you’ll still be around on the blog!

  144. LASB says:

    Hi NEO-SB, Midwest, AM/NM/AA, and SPup.

    NC Gent – That is great news! She is a very lucky woman! :)

  145. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Hi NM!That’s the first I’ve heard of Pumas. I might have fallen in that category once…I was late 30s seeing someone in early 20s. (I know, but I didn’t get to sow my oats in college…I was married!) He was the exception to most 20-something guys too. You should try everything once, right :-)

    I’m sending a note w/ james that you have my permission to punish him if he is disrupting the class.

  146. LASB says:

    Ok, so here is another issue that I would love some feedback on. Today’s pot SD is really cool and not cheap at all, in that he told me he’d pay for my parking without me even asking. We had a nice, but casual lunch, and he’s someone I’d date IRL. He, however, does not seem that keen on the allowance end of things. I didn’t want to question this too much, but I just got that vibe from a few things he said and his body language. On the other hand, the lifestyle that he’s offering sans allowance is right up my alley and he would be paying for all of it, just not the allowance part. Have any of you encountered this type of situation where the “perks” are good and it’s with a really attractive, cool guy, but there’d be no allowance? If so, would you at least try it out, or is that a deal-breaker? So that you have some background, I’m in a situation where an allowance would GREATLY decrease the stress in my life right now, but I also believe that my finances will straighten out one way or another by the end of 2010 if not sooner.

  147. Naughty Molly says:

    Hi Midwest! I’ve never heard of the cougar cruise. I did read an article the other day about pumas though…LOL. Pumas are women my age who go after men in their early 20’s…LOL. I’ve never heard of that expression before.

  148. Naughty Molly says:

    Congrats NC! Hope things work out for you :)

  149. Midwest SB says:

    NC Gent – Congrats! I hope it’s twice the sugar this go around.

    NeOhio SB – Thanks sugar!

    DC Meet – Sounds like great fun! I think I’m going to hold out for the cruise!! Have any of you heard of the Cougar Cruise? Too funny!

  150. LASB says:

    Good evening Sugars,
    I’m going to share what I learned on my pot SD date today because it answers the question of Should SBs try to make first contact? This pot SD said that he has never once made first contact and only waits for them to find him. He’s a busy guy. He never uses the search function, either. Just wanted to give all you shy SBs the heads up. No shame in making first contact, and if you don’t you might actually miss out.

  151. Midwest SB says:

    Gemi – Yeah on the 2nd date. I LOVE to flirt!! I know guys need very obvious clues to know you are sexually attracted. My suggestion would be to let him know you still want to get to know him a little better, but find that you are having naughty fantasies about him (j/k). Just say in a flirty way that he is sexy and you know that great things will come in due time. Meanwhile, look at his lips…then his eyes, touch his hand or hair in a flirty way. Sit close and make sure he gets a yummy kiss goodnight. Do make sure you guage his comfort level of pda. Is that helpful at all??

  152. NC Gent says:

    Hi Midwest — I agree with all of your comments. I am pretty jazzed to see Steve Winwood in concert. I hope he plays a lot of his stuff from the 70s (gosh I am old lol). Either way, I heard he puts on a great show.

    In other news…. I deleted my profile today, and I am going back with my SB from 2008. We had a lot of good times together, and I hope that they continue.

  153. NEOhio SB says:

    Midwest ~~ Playin a violin and singing happy notes for you and your SD. I am sooooooo happy you found an incredible guy. That patience was well worth it.

  154. Midwest SB says:

    Hello sugars! Welcome to all the new sugars! I agree it’s tough to catch up on posts (just read for an hour), but the information is so valuable.

    GREAT blog advice all the way around today!

    SPup – I truly enjoy your posts and look forward to your sugar adventure as it takes a new approach.

    Income – I have also heard that many fudge their income levels. My thoughts are that if he knows he can afford sugar, then I trust that. I’m more interested in our chemistry. If he meets what I seek, then I’m not going to judge him otherwise. I will say that if he truly appears to live on a modest income then I would feel guilty expecting an allowance and would not pursue it further.

    Spying – I couldn’t agree more. It’s toxic and an absolute waste of time. Please have respect for yourself and find someone who you trust. It’s the sugar world where we are free of games and drama :-)

    What would I want from my msb? I would want him to help me forget the world around me. I would want his undivided attention when we are together. Id love for him to draw a warm, lavendar bubble bath and pour me a glass of wine…cook a light dinner and be a passionate lover. Knowing his budget restraints, I would greatly appreciate his small gestures showing me he pays attention to every detail. Packing a picnic lunch in the living room with great music and candles…flowers picked from the local park, etc.

    I have everything I want in my SD!! :-)

    NC Gent – I remember the smithereens video on MTV!! I LOVE Steve Winwood!!! I saw him at the Sunfest Jazz Festival in West Palm Beach back in the 90s!!! His CD is still at the top of my list.

  155. SPup says:

    Gemini – I like it when a girl takes lead. It’s fun to be chased, and I’m usually the one that has to do the chasing. *shrugs* Personally I don’t mind being teased that much either, I tend to play ball just as hard.

    Anywho, I think I’m going to crash sugs (I just can’t find a spelling of that which I like =/). Maybe I’ll actually get around to fixing my profile tomorrow. Night. <3

  156. Gemini29 says:

    So, in a slight response to the blog question…. I tend to downplay my super flirty sexy side on SA and on the blog. But now I have a dilemma…how to nicely and cutely come on to a pot SD without it sounding contrived or too sexually forward to the point where I turn him off. Our talks have never ventured down that path before…so its a delicate path I tread.

    So. SDs and SBs… What is an acceptable level of flirty sexy talk from a pot SB you’ve met, and are planning a second date with (and are not already in an arrangement with)? I want to let him know that I can totally see it going the intimate route with him when the time comes and the relationship/arrangement progresses to that point but do not want to imply that I want to be sexed on our 2nd date. Or is it best to let him take the lead and just hope we begin an arrangement to put all these ideas into play?

  157. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Let the frisking begin!!! 😛

  158. Naughty Molly says:

    CA Dreamin ~ Some of these guys are pretty smart….we’re gonna have to start patting them down..LOL.

  159. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Naughty Molly – that’s what the fuzzy handcuffs are for!!!

  160. Naughty Molly says:

    CA Dreamin ~ Sure, I can always use the help. Sometimes I have a hard time keeping an eye on everybody and they escape..I mean, skip class.

  161. TXSB says:

    Good points! I also don’t see how a SD or a SB can complain about the other person logging in…b/c you can not check the log in dates without logging in yourself! I also agree with the point on trust…..what’s the point in being with a SD or a SB if you feel the need to “check up” on them during the arrangement?

  162. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Do you need a teachers assistant?

  163. Naughty Molly says:

    CA Dreamin ~ Oh, it can hold 10 to 20 depending on where I cage..um, sit them.

  164. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Just how big is the cellar, I mean classroom of yours NM?

  165. Gemini29 says:

    Ah fudge, I totally can’t find it. Hopefully Stephan will come through!

  166. Naughty Molly says:

    Did the bus forget anyone else this morning? I’m having the bus come and pick all of you up and bring you to my cellar…um, I mean the school house. I thought I would stay late and make it up to everyone that missed the afternoon class… 😉

  167. james.m says:

    ESB – I’m preparing a class list and a syllabus for each class. I wonder what kind of degree I get if I pass…MD (Master Daddy?)

    SPup – sorry, these are private lessons! Or, more correctly, remedial lessons.

  168. VA SB says:

    Hey Happy Lurker – buy a girl a drink will you??? You can taste the wine first with me anytime. For the record, I agree. I would never taste the wine first and if offered, would be quite shocked by the gesture.

    Re the syping topic…if I get that upset that a SD or pot is logging onto the site, then I think that’s an issue I need to deal with. People have choices and we’re all adults. Hell, most of the SDs won’t choose to be with me, but I won’t keel over from the rejection. If I begin to feel jealousy or some other such emotion from this, then I need to take a step back and regroup…

    Gemini29 – YAY!!! So happy you can come. Look a few posts up and you’ll see my email and DC SB email…. Thanks for joining the party.


  169. Naughty Molly says:

    Sorry James, the bus is on it’s way!

  170. SPup says:

    ESB – Do I qualify for that offer? <3

  171. NYC SB says:

    Taylor – again… he might be into you but he may or may not be an SD… he might just want a hook up sans money…

  172. SPup says:

    Elegant – HLurker has it right. That is the “proper” way to order wine.

    Taylor – While he may be into you, he may just want to look. If you value the business contact then play it safe. If you don’t mind going for broke, then hell have fun with it.

    On checking login times. If my sugar was stalking me like that, I’d have a hard time discontinuing the relationship. Of course that also works along the lines of exclusivity, which I’m partially against when it comes to sugar relationships. If you’re that worried about loosing him/her, then you’re in the wrong business ^_^

    Taylor – Don’t let that sleeveless heart of yours get you in trouble. I know, I /KNOW/ it’s hard. Being a helpless romantic myself I want to throw my self a people but you can’t. It just isn’t accepted in todays society. Either they back off because your too heavy or they get weired/creeped out. Stop watching login times. Stop it now! =P Go obsess over how many times is uses your name in each e-mail. You’ll be much more sane in the long run.

  173. james.m says:

    AM – I’ve been standing out in the cold and snow at the corner all afternoon. When does the short bus arrive to pick me up?

  174. NC Gent says:

    Taylor — I agree with you. If he did that, he is into you somewhat, or at least looking to explore opportunities. I have met two pot SBs in real life and they both turned out to be disasters upon further review. I didn’t meet them in a professional setting though. Just go with the flow at drinks tonight. You are smart – you can watch for clues — he will be slow to consider this arrangement because he hasn’t met you on a sugar site. Drop hints about financial and career support you are seeking and see how he responds. Good luck with it.

  175. Happy Lurker says:

    Hi Elegant,
    In your posting at 7.55 you mention a few things that you consider as gentlemanly behaviour, but I am surprised at the fact that you would expect me to ask you to taste the wine first.
    In a good restaurant the sommelier presents the wine card to the gentleman and he consults or advices him what to choose with the food.
    Now I myself always enquire in advance my table lady, if she has any preference in wines. So far I have never met any lady who would know enough on the subject to have an interesting discussion with on the wines that are on the wine list.
    Well VC would be one, I guess, but so far we never actually met.
    The sommelier then pours the gentleman a bit of wine in his glass and waits for him to taste it and looks for his appreciation. Then he fills his glass and then the glass of the lady.
    As a matter of fact, the somelier would not give you another wine card.
    You see the gentlemen taking you out foots the bill and you are not supposed to know how much it costs. That might spoil you appetite.
    There is a reason behind it. I taste the wine to detect any flaws.
    It may taste of cork or the wine has deteorated, because it is past its prime and has turned into vinegar. You would be surprised how badly handled wines are most of the times.
    Therefore the man taking you out and who is knowledgable about wines, will never let you taste first.
    This gesture would be very ungentlemanlike.
    Are you a wine connaisseur ?
    That would be a great asset for an SB.

  176. Naughty Molly says:

    Lucky for the people on the short bus!! 😉

  177. Taylor says:

    Guys, he asked me out for drinks. At a nightclub. He’s into me.

  178. Jayde5502 says:

    NY Gent, your link brings me back to the SA homepage. Are you the guy in the picture? If so, hubba hubba :)

    Do you play-up or play-down certain aspects of your personality to enhance the sugar? If so, how?

    I am a flirt by nature, so I don’t think there is anything I play up. However, I am more dominant so I tend to play that aspect of me down. It seems like all the SD’s I’ve come across want a submissive girl. I don’t have a problem being submissive as long as its kept respectful.

    What can help a sugar daddy arrangement stay fresh and exciting? Any tips?

    Try new things together. That’s actually what could improve a regular relationship. No one wants things to get boring. There are plenty of things to do and experience in the world. I can’t see how someone can have already seen and done it all.

    Care to give your 2010 sugar introduction? What kind of sugar are you, now?

    Hi everyone, I’m Jayde, although I think I changed my name on my SA profile. I haven’t been at this for too long. I’m in school so my search slows down considerably each term. I have had one successful SD, but it didn’t last long. He’s a great guy but it wasn’t a good fit.

    I’m searching for just one SD. Talking to a few potentials now, but it looks like Jan is gonna be a sugarless month for me. I’m keeping optimistic!

  179. Gemini29 says:

    TLG- Have this odd image of you wielding a spoon and stirring like crazy…
    Glad the ankle is healing well!

  180. The Lone Gunman says:

    SDN has a good point.

    Another thing to consider is that they may be logging in to see if you left a message for them or vice versa via SA–not outside the realm of possibility if you haven’t exchanged email addys yet.

    Lastly–for those interested–the ankle appears to be healing nicely, but I’m going stir crazy otherwise. :)


  181. photogirl says:

    aww… james too funny… :) I think you finally got it!

    SDN – I agree…odd that someone would need to log in and see whether or not their (pot)SD/SB is logging in. Not a very good way to start things off or to even continue… seems like way to much drama/stress to want to deal with.

  182. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    james.m: The short bus will pick you up for the next class. I handle the AP students, Naughty Molly handles the…well your class.

  183. ESB says:

    james, darling, I will teach you anything in my power to teach… on line only, of course! 😉

  184. ESB says:

    SDN. I totally agree… I was on another sight, where “spying” on each other led to disaster. Either you trust the guy/girl, or you don’t. You don’t KNOW their intentions of logging in. Maybe they made some friends on here, purely platonic, and are sharing good things with them. Geeezzz.. get over it!! If you are so suspicious, I have an idea for you. ASK!!! Maybe they are checking to see if you sent another email! Why do you assume it has to be something bad? Communication People!

    OK, sorry, you all just witnessed my angry side. Lets all act like adults here, get it out in the open, talk to each other, rather than suspect something else it going on. JUST ASK for goodness sake. Save yourself the heart burn.

    OK NOW I’m going to shower… 😀

  185. CA Dreamin SB says:

    YEA JAMES!!! You got it!!!

  186. james.m says:

    Thanks, Teacher. Do you run special classes, too, like Naughty Molly?

  187. james.m says:

    ESB: as JSO said last night, I seem to be retraded. (Which of course implies that I was traded once before)

    is it just a ; or ;, followed by a space, followed by a (,),or something like that?


  188. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    james.m: Take the space out.

    CA D: Yes dear.

  189. CA Dreamin SB says:

    SDN – I agree! (And that’s not just because you’re my fake husband)

  190. NEOhio SB says:

    Taylor ~~ Meeting this gentleman in the scenario you did, in the professional environment…and he offering to help you directing your resume to someone in his business networking that may help you..in no way insinuates he is seeking some SD arrangement. I would NOT in any way cross that line…accept his offer of business networking with a smile and in all professional demeanor…nothing more or nothing less. IF he decides to make the next move, the cards are in his hands..but i would not jepordize or make any move to anything more at this point. Keep it strictly professional !!

  191. Gemini29 says:

    Ok I got tired of reading and am just sticking this in here:

    DC Meetup : I would love to come!!

    Stephan, can you send DC SB or VA SB my email pretty pretty please?? Thaaanks! :)

  192. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Logging in while involved: I am confused and don’t mean to be offensive but I hear people complain that there S(D)(B) is logging in and that isn’t right. How do you know they are logging in if you aren’t logging in? Is it ok for you to log in but not them?

    Not only that but you are spying on them. So you log in and spy on them but they are in the wrong? As I said I don’t mean to be offensive but if you can’t trust them why are you with them? If I found my GF/SB spying on me we would be done.

  193. NYC SB says:

    Taylor – Maybe you are confusing his nice gesture to help you with an interview which is appriate at a networking event for him being an SD… even though he might want you in a physical sense it doesnt mean he is an SD… i would keep it professional until he decides to cross the line…

  194. CA Dreamin SB says:

    James – you have mail

  195. ESB says:

    Well, I’ve played sick long enough, time to get a shower. Been sitting here all day. I’ll be back later. Have fun all!!

  196. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    : D

  197. ESB says:

    aww.. my kiss didn’t work! lol.. but have fun with it, lots of combinations, not sure how many of them will work on here though. I need to learn how to do the italics and bolds…

  198. CA Dreamin SB says:

    I think the reason your other one didn’t work james is that there was no space between the … and the 😉

  199. ESB says:

    yeah, I’m actaully teaching again!! LOL :X

  200. ESB says:

    : D = 😀

  201. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    :( :(

  202. ESB says:

    ; ) = 😉 : ( = :(

  203. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Taylor: I will trade you for your potential sd. Right now there are 3 men on my porch with their pants about to fall down, boxer shorts showing, covered in tatoos, using every four letter word you can imagine. Gosh I can’t choose which one I want, lol
    Yuck I dont’ like how my neighbors are acting lately.

  204. ESB says:

    james. they are simple.. most start with the eyes… ; (wink) : and then a smile ) or frown ( :)

  205. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    lol my family (actually my mom and daugther) are nosy. My mom even threatened to show up and force herself into the room with us. Keep in mind I was 39 years old at the time. When I took the trip to NY, I had to text her to let her know that I was going on she would had the police looking for me and that has been a mistake. She is a pest now.

  206. DC SB says:

    Taylor: Since he’s offering to help you professionally I’d keep it strictly professional. Wait for him to make the first move if he’d like to go further. Don’t presume too much as it might in turn lead to a lost career connection. That’d be my advice.

  207. james.m says:

    I still can’t make emoticons, though. I must have missed that lesson

  208. james.m says:

    AM – please note my last post, and the sophisticated use of HTML, learned in your classes…;)

  209. james.m says:

    Lisa, When I started seeing a married man 5 years ago, my mom hired a detective to follow me and take pictures. It’s creepy as she has one of the pics in the living room of her apartment.

    Lisa, that’s not creepy, that’s way beyond creepy! Does Tony Curtis manage your family’s motel?

  210. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Ah Taylor…to have your life…

  211. Taylor says:

    Hey guys. Well, if anyone’s following my smitten saga, my pot SD called me and we talked for a long time, and he seems to claim to be missing me and thinking about me all the time and anticipating our second meet. However, I checked and he had logged in to his SA account just before calling me. If he’s so enamoured and thinking of me constantly, he first checks SA and then when that’s all taken care of, he *then* calls me? I’m just not liking this.

    And on the other side of things, locally in my IRL scene, it is now EVERY SINGLE TIME I leave the house, I have an older, rich guy making all kinds of overtures with his eyes and hinting at things with his words that are now registering loud and clear on my radar. I think SPup is right, they have probably been noticing me all along, I just didn’t even notice–I’ve never considered dating men 15-25 years older than me in the past (typically a small age difference between me and the guys I date, like maybe 5 years older, and sometimes even a year or two younger, if they seemed very mature) and certainly never if a guy wasn’t “my type” in terms of looks. Those guys always ended up being players, and I have too big a heart to play games.

    I’ve stomped my foot now in 2010 and won’t waste all of my charm, magnetism, and charisma on a lovers and male companions who aren’t also able and thrilled to do whatever are in their power power (which better be tangible and felt) to pull some strings, provide some assistance, and help my life move in the right direction. I’m all about making it on my own, and I am trying to do it 100% solo, currently, but my radar is WIDE OPEN for a man to walk into my life who has the means, knowledge, and connections to not only treat me like a princess when we are together, but also help me out in the areas that I currently could use some help in (and this part is temporary, anyways, and hopefully very temporary). But even though my desire for an allowance from a generous boyfriend type guy, plus networking help is only temporary, I have a feeling my desire to be treated with class and respect is here to say. I’ve had enough of the alternative.

    Tonight I was at a business event and a very successful man (the most successful in the room) who happens to be nice looking, charming, and single, was glued to my eyes and his body language screamed, “I’m yours!!!” and it was quite flattering. Then again I was ‘turning it on’ so to speak and networking my little ass off, for professional purposes. I ended up with his card and his polite request to let me know where I was headed tonight (I had mentioned a lounge I usually go to on friday night for drinks that he had never been to) and he’d hope to stop by and have a drink with me. I can see exactly what he’d like to see happen with me. I’m really not sure how to play this. He also asked me to send him my resume because he knows someone who would love to interview me at a different firm for an executive position. I want that interview. And this guy seems really interesting as well in more ways than one. I definitely think he’s a pot SD although I’m certain that the thought of doing so has never crossed his mind, at least with a cash allowance, because the concept of explicit sugar does not exist in this country. I could steer him to that place eventually wtih enough subtlety and finesse though, as long as he never thought of it as sugar. Not hard to achieve, I believe. Or then I can accept assistance through gifts and networking and date him a little bit. Not sure what is the right way to play this guy…. any ideas?

    How do you guys handle pot SDs who approach you IRL with tons of interest and a huge and obvious SD/SB vibe in the air (i.e. you’re young and beautiful and on your way up, he’s much older and not exactly Hugh Jackman, looks-wise, and already very successful and able to lend you a hand on your way up, and very very interested in you, romantically)….?

  212. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    well the apartment rental people judge based on credit, income, and where you live. I don’t even try to apply because I don’t have 80-120 dollars to throw away everytime I apply for an apartment. Any way they dont’ see someone who has paid their rent on time for all of the 4+ years I have lived here, they see someone who has horrible credit (on credit cards, I have perfect credit when paying rent and utilities), makes about 800-1000 short of having a qualifying income, and lives in that westview forest place.

  213. DC SB says:

    Lisa, everything will work out. I know how you feel as for being defenseless – If something isn’t in my direct control, I feel hopeless. But it’s not called the American dream for nothing, someone out there will understand your situation and give you a chance. Where you live doesn’t reflect who you are as a person.

  214. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I was shocked that my mom and daughter took my news of traveling to NY to meet my sd so calmly. Of course I have never told them he’s a sd, they think he is someone I met on eharmony or something. They ask too many questions and I will reveal nothing to them, it’s none of their business. But my mom and my daughter have told everyone and they keep asking when i’m getting married.

  215. DC SB says:

    ESB – well, I will keep my ears open as well. We can discuss more in person next weekend. I don’t like to put my info out there on the web :)
    PS You and VA have mail :)

  216. ESB says:

    Lisa, my folks are religous too, so I KNOW what you mean.. OMG, if mom knew I was on this sight… I’d so be disowned!! I gotta live my life, so she needs to chill. What she don’t know won’t hurt her 😉

  217. ESB says:

    DC, yes, I have a friend who works at the Pentagon, he has been a blessing in so many ways. Helped me tweek my resume, so it’s really kick ass now!! and he has helped me in my search for a position, told me what and how to apply for gov’t jobs. Just not getting any responses beyond “we have received your application, will keep it on file blah blah blah”, Geez, just hire me already!!

  218. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    no actually there is never a point that things can’t get worse. As long as i’m breathing, things can get worse. I feel defenseless as it’s not in my control. If I was judged by my rental history, i’d be fine as I have a perfect rent history (although most of it was burned when the apartment office was burned down last year and they only kept paper records) but they judge by credit history and income. And of course when they see where i’m living, that doesn’t help as people who live here have a nasty reputation, most of them are rotten.

  219. DC SB says:

    ESB I hope you end up finding something soon :( Have you ever considered government? You’re so close to DC – and they always have tons of jobs avail.

    Lisa: There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.. it seems to me that at this point things could only possibly get better.

  220. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    When I started seeing a married man 5 years ago, my mom hired a detective to follow me and take pictures. It’s creepy as she has one of the pics in the living room of her apartment.

  221. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    My mom and daughter are religious fanantics who consider me a “wh***” because I would actually consider having an intimate relationship with someone. I am expected to be celibate until mr right comes along and marries me. Keep in mind i’ve been divorced 17 years, and my ex and I ceased living together 19 years ago, and I have yet to find mr. right.

  222. ESB says:

    Lisa, I know all about family drama. I love my parents, as long as they stay in FL!! My mom is a Queen! OMG, she drives me nuts. We have gone through our times of no contact. She is learning to keep me out of her drama fits, and not drag my kids into it either. Hang tough girl. Life does tend to get better, just keep believing it.

  223. NYC SB says:

    james.m – i already have a broke bf … dont really need a SB… besides… i dont think i need an SB… between broke bf and SD and work i have zero time left… also… i dont think i like the idea of supporting a man… it just doesnt feel right… so i think i just realized i will never be an SM…

  224. ESB says:

    VA and DC, you have mail 😉

  225. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Sd can do anything as he’s too far away.
    At least my daughter is doing very well. She is attending college and has enough scholarships and grants to get her through 2 years of community college which is down the street from me. She got a job through the work thing when she was in highschool and they’ve decided to hire her full time. She’s a medical billing clerk and makes almost 12 dollars an hour. Doing very well. But there is a permanent wedge between my family because of what happened 4 years ago. They are distant and will not help me in any way.

  226. VA SB says:

    DC SB – you have mail….

  227. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:


    Sometimes I feel i’m sinking in deeper, the more I try. For now I don’t care about safety or the condition of these apartments, I just hope they don’t shut them down. They never tell you anything till they do it and then you get a bright orange sticker on your door from the City telling you to move out within 48 hours.

  228. ESB says:

    Just be careful, sweety. Keep looking up, things have got to improve, that is what I keep telling myself. At least you have a SD to give you some help. I only have me and an X who is worthless as far as helping with expenses… he’s not giving me ANY help at all. He has nothing to give. You just gotta believe that live will get better, and sooner or later, it will!

  229. VA SB says:

    Lisa – sorry to hear about the troubles with your apartment….

  230. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I have to have a place on the same busline because I don’t have a car. There are lots of apartments on the street where the store is that I work at but they are worse than this area, high crime and lots of Katrina evacuees, rival gangs competing for territory. There is one really nice place a few blocks from me but they are picky because they have high standards. It’s only 100 more rent than I pay now but the requirements are very high. I tried to move there 4 years ago but got rejected for income requirements. I’m limited to working days because I can’t be out past dark. Actually feeling less safe now as there was a robbery 2 days ago in the parking lot here, someone got stabbed (not deep or serious) at around 4 pm).

  231. ESB says:

    I remember you telling us all that.. I’m so sorry for you. I’m in a freinds spare bedroom, for 4 months now. I feel terrible about it, but until I find something, I’m stuck here. I’ve been filling out applications all morning. I’m going to have to drive an hour, and to the western shore (a MD thing) to get a job that pays. Will mean less time with Baby Girl, but I gotta do something. I even applied for a few part time jobs to help get me out of this hole I’m in. Since all the SDs who have contacted me are “Poof” daddy’s, I’m not counting on any help there. I always knew I had to do this on my own, but was hoping for some sugar to get my daughter the things she needs… sports are NOT cheap!!

  232. ESB says:

    dc, you have mail! :)

  233. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    it’s not good. The apartment got 6 violations last month when it was inspected. Unsafe plumbing, all 35 buildings not structurely sound, electrical problems, etc. I have tried to find another apartment but with really bad credit and income of less than a thousand a month, it’s useless. They charge you 80-120 dollars just to apply for an apartment in Houston. There’s no refund when you get rejected.

  234. ESB says:

    Uh oh, Lisa, that don’t sound good.. ya know, I hear duct tape can fix anything!! :0 maybe you should get busy!! lol

  235. DC SB says:

    Ah! K let’s do. Let’s discuss deetz offline!
    I’m excited!

  236. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Yuck the building inspectors are back

  237. VA SB says:

    Thanks for the tip….hadn’t seen those tips before. DC and ESB – let’s finalize details offline…

  238. ESB says:

    Good point NE

  239. VA SB says:

    ESB – there is a parking garage like 2 blocks away (I think). When I get back to my office, …I think I’m going to create one just for the blog….

  240. ESB says:

    I LOVE chocolate.. give me a good dark and I’m a very happy SB!! 😉 I think Dove makes the best, it is creamy, not to bitter, but Godiva is to die for also. Any man I’ve ever been involved with knows it is the fastest way to my heart.. at leasts for the few moments I’m savoiring it! 😀 Chocolate wine could be good. I had a chocolate martini once, wasn’t all that impressed with it. To much alcohol, not enough cocoa flavor for my liking.

  241. NEOhio SB says:

    ESB ~~ and for the others that are planning the meet in DC…..Please, please….as words of wisdom…and discussed prior to the NY gathering, I would strongly recommend to NOT post location, time, date on the public blog. Remember, there can be lurkers who potentially could not be the best seeing this info and could potentially make a great meeting into a mess. I vividly remember Flo posting such a recommendation…and believe even in the Chitown gathering, things were discussed OFF the blog.

  242. Anna Molly says:

    I was watching the Today Show and they were talking about chocolate wine and they said it was very good…would love to try some sometime.

  243. ESB says:

    OMG!! I”m looking at the websight for Co Co… wow, I’M hungry.. chocolate everything.. yea, we are so going there!! 😉

  244. ESB says:

    I looked up Co Co Sala on google, and it looks easy enough to get to, but I always hav troubel parking in DC. Any suggestions on that one? VA, DC??

  245. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Darn I missed Gail again. Had to venture out in the rain to do laundry. Now i’m off to get some fast food. I was going to subway to get one of those lite sandwhiches but it’s raining to much to walk 4 blocks so i’ll just go next door.

    On the subject of money buying happiness. Well let’s see much of my problem is I live in an unsafe place, can’t get out and go anywhere, can’t travel because of work. So if I had money, I could live someplace safe, buy a car, get out at night and enjoy life like I used to, and be free to travel more.
    Off to get some lunch now.

  246. ESB says:

    I just got a new email just for this blog.

  247. ESB says:

    eeeee… Im so excited!! Yes, those dates would be perfect!! Well, the 24th, if we do it in the afternoon. Gotta get up early for work the next day. (gawd I hate morning… is there life before coffee?)

    I will look up to see where you were talking about. So cool, who else is in? Would love to meet more people. Kinda funny thing about me. I can walk into a sales meeting and take charge like I’m there best friend, but when it comes to meeting friends, I’m nervous, and even a bit shy. But at the same time EXCITED!! WOW.. ok, I’m calm now. 😀

  248. DC SB says:

    VA – perfect! ESB yes we’ve made plans! Let’s all swap email addresses? I love Coco Sala. ESB I’ll get you directions. Should we do Fri or Sat? I feel like Sat might be better for ESB as she has to drive.

  249. VA SB says:

    Hey ESB! Are you free on the 23rd or 24th. Me and DC SB are free….so the three of us are in (as long as that is good for you). Can you make it? Check out a few posts above this one for location in Chinatown.

    There has to be others on the east coast who want to join….

  250. ESB says:

    Good afternoon everyone!! (on the east coast it is anyway)

    I am home from work today, got half way to the office and got blinded by a migraine. Good night, a bullet to the brain would be less painful! So, I am here, trying to catch up what all I missed last night. I got an IM from a friend, so I just signed off of here to give him my full attention… and he is the cause of the migraine… couldn’t sleep after that conversation.

    Cruise to somewhere warm for a meet … sounds heavenly right now. My brother is getting married in March in Columbia. I need to get my passport or I’m not going. Parents will pay all other expenses. I’m thinking a passport would be a good thing reguardless of the reason. Better get on that, huh?

    So, did we make plans for a DC meet for us local gals? I would so love to do that!! Please, lets make a plan for soon!! Would love some real live peopel to talk to about the ups and downs of sugar world!

    OK, more catching up!!

  251. Anna Molly says:

    Back from running errands….what did I miss, what did I miss!! LOL

  252. LASB says:

    Ok, I’m bummed that I’m missing yet another meet. I would definitely love to meet everyone on the blog at some point. You all have been awesome and given me so much to think about. :)

  253. LASB says:

    SPup – For people whose misery is deep rooted, money won’t fix that. But I believe money buys a lot of opportunities that are very fulfilling and so in that way, it does buy happiness. I think of all the things that money could afford you, and how they can enrich one’s life. That being said, there are exceptions to everything, and I do know a few obscenely wealthy people who are not happy.

  254. VA SB says:

    DC – let’s try for Coco Sala (better parking)….

    Anyone else in DC/VA/MD want to meet for drinks and fun on the 23rd/24th?

    Although I’m sure me and DC will have a blast by ourselves…the more the merrier.

  255. DC SB says:

    IRLSD then it was a matter of word-choice and diction. ignore *definitely* means you notice something but choose refuse to recognize it – like she texts you, and you ignore it.
    Giving her space would be more along the lines of not contacting her.
    That’s all. I stop jumping down your throat.

  256. SPup says:

    On the money issue. Money doesn’t not buy happiness. It does buy peace of mind and freedom, but not happiness. Now if the only reason you’re unhappy is because you don’t have freedom and peace of mind then money will solve that, but if you got other issues, then no amount of raw money is going to solve that (it might however, buy you the help you need).

  257. LASB says:

    IRLSD – Ok, then I think that’s a good way to go. She already knows the deal, so yeah, leaving it be sounds reasonable.

  258. DC SB says:

    VA SB – I must have missed that Gail can’t make it :( well if she’s okay with us still meeting and then re-meeting again then I’m still down for next weekend :)
    I’ve been thinking.. Oya (chinatown), Mate (georgetown), Lima (although I hear their food is not that great?), Coco Sala (chinatown). I feel like Mate and Coco Sala are best for fun/lounge-y/tapa-esque/sexyness. I kind of lost where I was going with all the adjectives. Haha.

  259. LASB says:

    Money = happiness? I believe money CAN make you happy. I mean, it helps a lot, especially as the stresses of not having enough money to live start to go away. When I am not worried about how I am going to pay my bills, I have a better quality of life, which adds to my happiness. Donald Trump once said, “Anyone who says money can’t make you happy never had any.” It’s kinda harsh, but maybe there’s truth to it. A close relative’s saying is something like “Maybe money doesn’t make you happy, but if I’m going to be miserable anyway, I’d rather be a rich miserable than a poor miserable.” That one cracks me up!

  260. IRLSD says:

    LASB, ignoring means not contacting her and waiting for her to get back to me.

  261. LASB says:

    IRLSD – well the “ignore” part sounds like that’s a game. It sounds like if she txts or calls you, you don’t call her back, which sounds like a game, since you do really still like her. JMO. Pursuing her doesn’t mean you have to stop looking around or pursuing others, but I still stand by my opinion that she should be able to see these guys she has already contacted. Though, in the end, if you aren’t ok with that, you aren’t ok with that and that’s your prerogative.

    Not sure who said it, but someone said, “Why do you want to give all the power to the SB?” And I don’t know that that’s doing that. That statement seems like it comes from a place of fear, which IMO is not “good for business.” Why not just leave the lines of communication open until things are more solid. I guess I just believe that we get what we emanate. Kindness recognizes kindness and abundance finds abundance. Again, JMO.

  262. DC SB says:

    IRLSD But, the most sensical thing I’ve heard you say all day was that you told her you’re interested and now you’re going to wait it out. Good move.

  263. VA SB says:

    Hi DC – yes, very familiar with DC. Worked in the city for about 8 years. I’ve been in Fairfax for almost 2 yrs, but still go to DC for meetings and dinner all the time. Name a place and I’ll be there…

    Gail – no problem. If me, DC, and ESB go out in two weeks, we’ll just reconvene when you’re in town….

    Re the money can’t make you happy…- agree with that. You can be happy/unhappy with any level of income. However, for me (who’s a bit of a worrier about finances/bills), when I don’t have to worry about bills, have spending money, can take my kids to the movies, or go for drinks with the girls without stressing about my bank account – then I’m a much happier person. It’s just my personality.


  264. CA Dreamin SB says:

    IRLSD – Normally, believe it or not, I’d stay out of this one, but, I think you should just be patient. Yes, she already had these dates set up, so she should go on them. If you like her as much as you say you do, just let it be. Ask for out for another evening when you know she’ll be in town and trust that perhaps she likes you just as much and is going on these other dates just to be sure.

  265. DC SB says:

    IRLSD Yes, I do.

  266. SPup says:

    LASB – *laughs* It’s all good love. It wasn’t that long really.

  267. IRLSD says:

    DC, do you really think I am trying to play games? My four options are not intended to play her. I already told her that I am seriously interested, that I had stopped looking for anyone else, that I had met another pot this week, and that I can see it lasting some time. I was not playing hard to get or anything–not my style; I am more the “lay the facts out” kind of person. My question is simply what the best approach is given the situation.

  268. LASB says:

    Wow, sorry for posting an encyclopedia sized posing, I guess I had a lot to respond to.

  269. CA Dreamin SB says:

    James – don’t forget the chaps!

  270. SPup says:

    Er what they’d (The sb’s) look for. Spell check doesn’t catch everything. =/

  271. LASB says:

    SPup – I’m glad I didn’t scare you off just yet. I hear ya on the sleep thing. I’m still all off kilter from a recent Vegas trip. BTW, You’ve taught me A LOT! When I become an SM someday, I’ll know all the lingo. hehe. And I hear ya with the sewing circle feel, but don’t let it scare you off.

    NEOhio SB says: LMAO …The “Lets meet at Starbucks with no panties” line is going to be an ongoing addition to the blog posting all the time.
    I’m glad my story has been such a big hit. hahaha. It’s actually the one I tell when pots ask how my search has gone.

    Elegant – Welcome! I liked what you had to say about the income level telling something about a person. It’s not always the case, but can be somewhat of an indicator.

    Income Level – Well, they need to be making more or worth more than I am for me to consider them, otherwise, I’d feel guilty that I’m taking this poor guy’s resources. And sorry to say, but if you are making 50-75k here, you probably have roommates and your car is breaking down, etc. I’m not interested in an SD who is living like a frat boy or worse. If a guy with a low stated income contacts me and is polite, I will engage in conversation with him. I give him and pretty much everyone the benefit of the doubt. (Probably why I have some of the craziest stories.) But if I speak to someone, and there is an ounce of pettiness or cheapness or even bitterness, I know that we probably aren’t going to get very far.

    The guest room guy – I’m leaning towards not meeting him, but not really based on the guest room thing. He actually seems like a safe guy, and I have pretty good instinct on stuff like that. However, there are other red flags raised that don’t sit well with me.

    Sugar Cruise Meet – I’d be super into it! :)

    ESB – Thanks for answering all my questions, particularly about the red flags.

    IRLSD – My vote, “2. Text her and tell her that I’m interested but that she needs to meet the other pots first and then get back to me if she wants to pursue things further.”
    Except, I would take out the phrase “needs to.” and put in “can.” I mean, why can’t she shop around? If she is seeking for a 5 year commitment from a person, she should look around a little and find the person who is best for her. If we all just settled for the first person we met…? Plus, if she meets them all and comes back to you, then you will feel even more confident. I don’t like number 1, because if you like her, why would you want to shut down communication? Seems very 3rd grade to me.

    SincereSD – I think your advice to MP was really well said. I sort of thought the same thing about the laptop. What’s the big deal with that? Isn’t that a better “investment” that clothes or shoes or handbags? (Not that I don’t love those things.)

  272. cleo says:

    NC Gent the math doesn’t add up so i would be very hesitant. that said, since sdinatx has commented that he keeps his true numbers private i would at least respond t his email but i would pay a lot of attention to his acessories and the like because i would assume that he really couldn’t afford an arrangement if those numbers were true.
    lisa it’s more liveable if you live in the country, rent tends to be cheaper. that said, i agree with you. i can live on that but well? nuh-uh
    new bloggers: hi all, i usually don’t say hi to anyone because there’s so much chatter here anyway but please don’t think we’re a solid clique, heck at least half of us have only been here a few months

  273. SPup says:

    james.m – Don’t know, it’s only been 3 days ^_^. I haven’t done much more than mark favorites. Need to tweak my profile first. There’s very few gold SMs though. We’ll see.

    I would love to hear from the SB’s what that’d look for ^_^ <3

    Gail – I'm currently in Mid/southern GA and I suggest you read from 11:14 to 12:55 love <3

  274. james.m says:

    And, you already had the riding boots and crop

  275. james.m says:

    No wonder you and SDN got fake married. For those who are interested, the fake bachelor party was a GREAT success, and lasted three days.

  276. CA Dreamin SB says:

    James – of course! Fuzzy handcuffs, whip, etc.

  277. DC SB says:

    IRLSD – I feel like we’ll clash often. Like you, I sugar play. But I treat my SDs with respect and definitely don’t play mind games with them. I keep everything up front and open – and they respect me for it. The way you treat your SBs (take the money out, pretend you’re giving them ZERO money) garners the respect you get back from them.
    Think about it.

  278. james.m says:

    CA D Oh, that’s right. Is that where you got yours?

  279. james.m says:

    NEO SB – saw Clapton here a couple of years ago, 7th row, center, courtesy of a IRL GF. He was amazing, although those in the know thought they had seen him better. He had 2 young boys with him, one played acoustic and the other electric, and did sets with him. they kept up with him, lick for lick.

    Saw Santana in Vegas in September. He’s pretty decent, too. LOL

  280. CA Dreamin SB says:

    James – the fuzzy handcuffs were from Naughty Molly’s class! 😉

  281. DC SB says:

    Like I said, when you find an SB like myself, you’ll be proven very wrong. Which is why SDs run back, they can buy everything except the total package SB. An SB whose a total package? She can have her pick of SDs. You might end up losing out on a great SB by trying to play games with her.
    And as we all know, games are for teens and preteens, not adults.

  282. james.m says:

    CA D – good morning! Thanks. It’s been a good blog today.

    Newbies: When I first started, I thought the group had several cliques. there are a lot of inside jokes referring to previous blogs (Starbucks/panties, Walmarts, etc.). But ask a question and watch what happens. Everyone will jump in with advice, most of it really good. And you will be very quickly accepted into the group.

    One tip, too. Open a blog, and hit ctrol F to open the search function. type in your subject, and you can find what was said about a topic very quickly. I think I picked that up in AM’s class; or was that where I got the fuzzy handcuffs?

  283. Gail says:

    Awwww James….anyone special you were thinking of : ) Midwest…share your secrets to making your SD happy.

    Good morning all~Just woke up….I drank coffee after wilting and dying last nite on the blog. Thank you Spup for your care and affection before I went out: ) Welcome Spup…what city and state are you in? Thank you for all of your input and perspective on SD and life : )

    So much to write and respond to…but so little time….

    DCSB and VASB….I cant do it on those dates…but be sure that when I go there I would love to meet the both of you, lunch or dinner on me : ) But remember on a SB budget…lol…

    I have to dry and straighten my hair before I look scary…will be back soon.

  284. NEOhio SB says:

    LMAO …The “Lets meet at Starbucks with no panties” line is going to be an ongoing addition to the blog posting all the time.

    AM~~ Speaking of concerts I am sooo stoked…Heading to see Eric Clapton and Roger Daltrey in Concert next month…and can’t wait.

    Spup ~~ Never ever ever compromise standards.

    James ~~ I second that…this blog IS addicting. I was on a LOA over the holidays and so glad to be back.

    Everyone enjoy the weekend…hope it is full of lots of sugar!!!

  285. CA Dreamin SB says:

    James – good morning, great comments!

  286. james.m says:

    SPup: Let me know if I have this right. You are a young, male SB, looking for a SM. How is that going on SA? Is there an active SM group? I don’t think we’ve had one speak up on the blog in the short time I’ve been here. Any luck? It’s a great concept, though.

    Maybe NYC SB wants to play both sides of the street now that her venture is up and running!

    It might be an interesting question for the SBs. If you were looking for a male SB, what would you look for?

  287. TXSB says:

    I totally agree with you about the eating. I haven’t had fast food in over a month and lately, have started cooking at home (nothing fancy…just very basic items). But in the past month, I’m already amazed at how much money I’ve saved just by making this simple change.

  288. james.m says:

    I have no help to offer the newbies who are intimidated by the size of the blog, except be careful. It is addictive.

  289. james.m says:

    Some very good comments have been made, which I think are worth pointing out:

    DC SB: “SD/SB relationship is the perfect combo of an SD having everything money can buy EXCEPT what a perfect SB can offer”
    Since I’m new to this, and have an SB who really understands our roles, it has been enlightening to me, and a wonderful change of pace.

    SPup: “As a whole, men are pigs. Which only makes things harder for the rest of us”
    It is something all SBs need to remember; many men ARE pigs, and they are just as well represented on here as in the general population. You ignore them IRL, and don’t let them get you down, so ignore them here, and don’t let them get you down. I enjoy the reports of them, though, because I find them hysterically funny that someone would actually do some of these things (see also, Let’s meet at starbucks with no panties)

    IRLSD: “SPup, once you have a steady job paying you 75K, your standard and cost of living will rise accordingly and your disposable income will not be 55K.”
    How true! I see it in the cars I buy. I buy one and it has a new gizmo, which I laugh at. Then, when I buy my next car, I simply have to have it. But, I think men have it much easier, since we don’t have the “shoe” and “lingerie” gene.

    AM: “In regards to the $, I don’t really pay much attention. For me its all about the person.”
    Right on target! You don’t need money to be happy, but you sure do need the right person!

  290. SPup says:

    IRLSD – Have your standards and keep them. Give people the benefit of the doubt if and when you can, but don’t compromise your standards. <3

  291. IRLSD says:

    And for how much I’ve wasted on sugar dating since August: $85,000. Now tell me an escort is cheaper–I doubt I’ve even had sex 10 times with SBs.

  292. IRLSD says:

    I think I’ve made up my mind. I told her last night that I am interested and could see a serious future with us, but at this point I’m just going to move on and if I still have interest, I’ll have dinner with her next Thursday. Otherwise, I’ll let things fizzle out. SBs have a way of coming back almost every time as well, but my rule of thumb is, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” I had an SB who would always be late to every meeting and I told her I won’t put up with it and that I’d move on to someone else in no time and she would spend months trying to find someone who would support her like I do and that she, like every other SB before her, would come back begging for me and I would not take her back. Well, I finally dumped her and she lasted a few weeks off the money I had given her and came back begging. When begging didn’t work, she tried to arouse my pity, but whatever–too many fish in the sea to want to go back to something that didn’t work in the first place. Plus, the first time around I can pretend like she is not with me just for the money, but th second time around that is much harder.

  293. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Living by myself, I find fast food cheaper. Since I don’t own any kitchen utensils, cooking is difficult. I have a skillet and a pot or whatever. If I feel like eating a hamburger, it’s cheaper to go next door that to buy a package of hamburgers, buns, etc which I won’t finish anyway and will end up in the trash. I also have an electric stove which is very old so it takes forever to cook anything. So I use the microwave all the time

  294. Anna Molly says:

    I have always wanted to see The Cure…LOVE THEM!!

    Ok back to errands :)

  295. SPup says:

    I avoid eating fast food (minus the $1 burgers every now and then… OH and shakes while I’m on the road). It’s more expensive more often than cooking. Granted I tend to buy store brand for most things. *shrugs* I can taste the difference, but it doesn’t bother me enough to switch for everyday substance.

  296. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I have started eating better too. And it is expensive. I work at a grocery store but it’s one of the more expensive ones but since I can only buy a few items a day, I usually just get the stuff at work. It was so much simpler when I was eating at McDs, Wendys, or Taco bell, all which are next door to my apartment. I recent discovered frozen vegatables

  297. NC Gent says:

    PG — it was a very good concert in a very small venue. There were only about 600 people there. The band members mingled with the audience before and after the show. One of the better concerts I have seen in a while.

  298. SPup says:

    Lisa – Yep, thems the breaks. But sometimes the people they bring in can be a plus too. I’ve met a good number of close friends through roommates who I only casually got along with. Again, though, I’m a people(ish) person, so it’s not that hard for me.

    Anyone else find themselves giving only half the details of something hoping that someone else will pick up and ask for the rest? I’m not just talking about blog posts, but elsewhere too.

  299. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    money can buy a safe place to live though

    Right now i’d like it to stop raining enough for me to be able to walk to the laundramet

  300. DC SB says:

    IRLSD Option 2 minus the “tell her she needs to meet the other SDs and get back to me to pursue things further.”
    She’ll take it from there. You can ignore her if you like, but get ready for her not running back to you if she doesn’t feel like it. The other SDs will express interest where you have not. If an SD ignores me just to get me to run back to him and fuel my interest, I call his bluff and ignore him too – they always come back. It’s fact.
    If she’s got it like that, trust me, she knows – and she’ll go where the best offer & chemistry are.

    Lisa – well, what I spend most on is my apt. But otherwise I do take public transportation but I do hit up Whole Foods often – which is killing me (not health-wise but def money-wise).

    VA SB – yes the 23/24th weekend! I’m free. We could do either Fri or Sat. I’m thinking up a couple cute hot spots now.. are you familiar with DC at all?

  301. photogirl says:

    NC Gent – The Smithereens… very cool… I am an ’80’s child’ after all. I think I actually still have an old cassette tape lol.

    I agree with others…money doe not = happiness. I believe it comes from within… and YOU choose to be happy or not. Yes, of course it does make certain aspects of life easier and more comfortable…but I am probably the least materialistic person most will meet.

    I may not make a huge income, but I would much rather do what I am doing for a living now than what I did previously. Less stress, more time with my girls and am a much happier person because of it.

  302. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    SPup, I have a good friend who like me struggles and lives in a tiny efficiency apartment where she pays more rent than I do, but then again it’s a much nicer area and they have a strict limit on how many people can live in one apartment. It has crossed my mind a few times in the past that if she and I shared an apartment, we could live in a much nicer, safe place. However her lifestyle would keep me from ever actually doing that. She likes to go to dumpy bars and pick up losers, always got some loser booty calling her. When you have roomates, you have to deal with the people they bring in too.

  303. SPup says:

    IRLSD – I expect that if you include what I put away for savings, until I have a family and/or business to support, I will retain at least 1/2 my income as disposable when I make anything over 30k.

  304. Anna Molly says:

    In regards to the $, I don’t really pay much attention. For me its all about the person. Of course it would be totally different if I was the kinda girl that was only looking at things from a $ perspective intead of the human perspective.

  305. IRLSD says:

    When I was out of town for a week, I asked my previous SB to check my mailbox at my spare apartment for me. Now I am getting all these unpaid overdue bills. I guess she never bothered to give them to me, even though I saw her several times after I got back and even though we decided to be friends once we broke up.

  306. SPup says:

    Lisa – Good roommates are like a good sugar relationship. Good for a time, but then you make a change hoping that you get something better. I’m currently in the looking for something new stage. My roommates are decent (ones pretty great really, the other’s just ok) but I’ve had my fill and need to move on before things get sour.

    Thankfully the hunt for decent roommates isn’t nearly as hard as the one the right kind of sugar.

  307. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Over half of my income is rent and thanks to the new charge for water, my rent has gone up. Sad thing is they divide the number are apartments in each building (mine has 16) and charge each tenant the same. Unfair since I live alone in a one bedroom while my downstairs neighbors are piled 8 in a one bedroom apartment and it looks like my next door neighbors have about 7 living there. I see two couples and 3 kids coming out in the mornings. I know they use more water than I do.

  308. IRLSD says:

    DC, I don’t disagree with anything you say, so practically speaking, which of the four options would you recommend for me (as listed on my 6:10 AM post).

    NC Gent, I keep telling SBs that I was just as happy when I made 1/50th of what I make now, but they never get that. I think there is a greed disconnect. I am not greedy, hence why I like sugar dating, as it is easy for me to part with my money, whereas a lot of SBs (definitely not all) are super-greedy. I had a previous SD who would not consider for marriage a man making less than 500K. No matter how many times I told her the truth, she never got that money does not buy happiness.

    SPup, once you have a steady job paying you 75K, your standard and cost of living will rise accordingly and your disposable income will not be 55K.

  309. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    My daughter and I were roomates with my parents for many years until I decided I wanted to date, so I was asked to move. This past summer my daughter and parents wanted me to move with them and be roomates again, I declined, they didn’t speak to me for several months.

  310. SPup says:

    Elegant – I’d hazard to guess that the skills required to make your way to the top of the business world are somewhat related to having teh qualities of being a gentlemen. *sigh* As a whole, men are pigs. Which only makes things harder for the rest of us =/

    Lisa – to help put a better picture on that 1/2 to 2/3 of that usually rent.

  311. VA SB says:

    DC – Absolutely! Next weekend would be perfect for me…that’s the 23rd/24th, correct? I would love to meet some friends from the blog….

    Sign me up…if that doesn’t work for everyone, another weekend would work just as good.


  312. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I would hate to have roomates. I just gained my indendence 4 years ago and have my own place for the first time. I am quite square and wouldn’t get along with anyone who smokes, drinks, parties, etc. I’ve heard so many horror stories.

  313. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    lack of $$ doesn’t bring happiness either

  314. SPup says:

    DC SB – I’m sure we could work out an arrangement ^_- But no really I’d be happy to help if you’re interested.

    Lisa – my living expenses were are around $700-900 a month, entertainment included. Atm I’m needing to have roommates to cut that down to 400-600 a month. I enjoy living with others, it’s just the fact I don’t have a choice that bothers me. =/

  315. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    DC SB:

    Move to a low class apartment with lots of crime , don’t have cable, take the bus, and since you won’t be able to get out after dark, you’ll save a ton of money on nightlife, etc. I live on less than 900 a month

  316. DC SB says:

    I agree w/ SPup that being a gentleman doesn’t have a price tag. It’s the small thoughts that count. Which is why as SBs, our SDs can be happy we’re not buying them yachts but providing them comfort, relaxation and stress-free fun – which have no price tag. SD/SB relationship is the perfect combo of an SD having everything money can buy EXCEPT what a perfect SB can offer :)

  317. Elle-Shooger says:

    You are right, SPup. Well stated and to be clear, I am speaking from my experience only and the gentlemanly gestures are the qualities I’m attracted to the most. I am fully aware that a man can be a gentleman regardless of his income, however, in my (life) experiences (SB or not), affluent men pretty much always bring those qualities to the table – guaranteed. (I’m sure there are wealthy men without class – I just have not come across one yet. *knock on wood*) Then again, I have had two amazing SDs who made me feel more like a princess than Cinderella; so perhaps I have been a bit spoiled.

  318. TXSB says:

    NC Gent:
    I agree. $$ doesn’t guarantee happiness…

  319. DC SB says:

    SPup & Lisa: I wish you guys would teach me how to manage on 15-20K because I seemingly blow through my income which is pretty high for my age. If only I could budget better! I’ve been meaning to..

  320. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    is that 15k after tax or pretax?

    If it’s after tax, it wouldn’t be bad but then again the apartments in my city have a 3-3 and half times the rent policy in order to even move in so whereas 1,250 a month after taxes might be possible, you wouldn’t be able to apply for an apartment in my city, well except where I live. You need to make at least 2,400 a month here in order to rent an apartment. The poor people get around that by piling up 2 or 3 families in a one bedroom apartment so there are several incomes.

  321. VA SB says:

    Re the $50k or $75k income, really – that’s not my issue.

    I don’t mean to sound callous, but if an SD is on this site, then he will need to understand that an SB will expect that allowance of $1k-$3k, if that’s what they list. Also, I hope that I am savvy enough to weed out someone who isn’t really looking for the same thing I am.

    Now, personally, I agree with ElegantSugar….my personal standards would prompt me to seek an SD who has a higher income than the $75k range. Their income should be significantly higher than mine.

    Won’t apologogize for that…I have specific goals and an SD in the income/tax bracket I’m looking for can help. Not financially, but with connections, networking, knowledge (in addition to the traditional help).

  322. TXSB says:

    Good Morning Everyone! :)

    SBs — would you consider an SD who states in his profile that is annual income is $50k to $75K; his net worth is $100k to $200k, and his budget is $1k to $3k per month?

    Yes. I have contacted pots with those #’s if I like their profile. High #’s don’t always mean they’re perfect with $. My ex-SD’s income is in the 7 figures…he paid my allowance…yet he still owes me $ for some items I paid for (this was for his sugar pad). Only a few hundred dollars so not the end of the world, but the last time I saw him, he told me he’d pay me back and even tried giving me part of it….I told him that he can just give it to me the next time he saw me since we were supposedly parting as friends. It’s been over a month and he hasn’t contacted me to pay me back. Guess he’s too busy spending it all on his new SBs. Just b/c a SD makes a 7 figure income, it doesn’t mean he has class/integrity or know the meaning of “honesty”….I know this from personal experience. I’d much rather have a man who makes less but can respect me enough to be honest (and of course, keep his promises…especially in regards to $).

  323. SPup says:

    Lisa – I own my car. I rent a basic apartment. I live in a city with a lower cost of living. I cook for myself (quite well when I feel like it, but usually I cop out for something quick and easy). I have relatively low entertainment costs (I eat out or see a movie about once a week). I’m quite happy at my standard of living. Anything more than that and I find myself spending at least half the extra income on other people if not more. I live well within my means and am quite happy doing it too.

    This is not to say I plan on settling into this income bracket. *shrugs* I’ve put away a nice little nest egg compared to my past income.

    ElegantSugar – Yes and no. By yes, I understand how important the little things are. By no, it’s not the fact the place has a coat check, it’s that he takes care of your coat. It’s not that he has a bellhop get your bags to your room, it’s that he makes sure that you don’t have to carry them if you don’t want to. Or that you don’t have to walk to and from the car, not that someone else parks it. If the coat check, valet or the bellhop are what you like, then you’re looking for the afluency as well as his ability to be a proper gentlemen. Which, btw, is fine if that’s your thing, but it does not mean that someone from a lower income bracket isn’t capable of being just as much of a gentlemen.

  324. NC Gent says:

    Just as a side comment — I was just as happy when I was making $15,000 (graduate student) a year as with my current income. There seems to be no correlation with my income level and happiness. Not sure if that is true for others. I have always been able to find happiness, but I just have more expensive toys now.

  325. DC SB says:

    Holy Moly.. I agree w/ what another SB ^^ said about being a newbie and trying to enter the blog. It takes me a good 2 hours to catch up on the comments, and when I’m finally ready to write, I click refresh and there’s another hour left to read :(
    So skimming everything..

    For the DC meet up. I can do as early as next weekend! VA, ESB and Gail, thoughts? ESB – I know you don’t know DC too well, I can probably think up a spot for dinner/drinks that’d be cute and chic. :)

    IRLSD – I say let the girl do as she pleases. That seems to be the only type of girl you go for/keep interest in. You say you want to be the center of attention/have an SB be exclusive to you, although you’re probably not to her – you need an SB like myself, I’d play you right back and you’d stay interested. If I even pretended to be remotely actually into you, you’d drop me as quickly as you drop your other SBs.
    You’re into the chase and the chase alone.
    I think once you find an SB like you, you’ll finally have found what you’re looking for.

    NC Gent: I wouldn’t even consider a guy making 50-75K. I don’t really understand why that income level is an option even on SA? I really am wary also of a guy making only 125 – 150K per year as spending even 1K a month means a good 1/5- 1/6 of his income and chances are he wouldn’t spend that much.

  326. NC Gent says:

    I definitely fudge my income and net worth downward, but it is still sufficient to provide an allowance. Having said that, I struggle to scrape together enough cash to support an SB because I messed up and electronically deposit all my income and have a shared checking account.

    I saw The Smithereens last night (late 80s band — most popular songs were “Only a Memory”, “Blood and Roses” and Girl Like You. I think they weren’t more popular because they signed with the wrong record label.

    Going to see Steve Winwood in a few weeks — I love some of his music.

    Photogirl — it is commendable that you look past the income and net worth.

  327. Elle-Shooger says:

    I meant “seeking” not “seeing” a Sugar Baby. I need to proofread more…

  328. SPup says:

    You know what’s more irritating than waiting on a SA reply? Waiting for a reply from craigslist personals. It’s so frustrating. Most of the time it’s just some bot. The rest of the time you just don’t get a reply. People set up an alt e-mail account for it then never check it. *grr* And this one had such potential. Er non sugar potential that is.

  329. Elle-Shooger says:

    Sarcasm aside (about living with mom and eating meatloaf), it is more than just about the income bracket. For me, at least. If a man is earing 75K – 100K and seeing a Sugar Baby, he is probably at the highest income level he has ever been. This is not a bad thing and perhaps he does have a low mortgage and drives a basic car with low payments. That lifestyle is absolutely fine. HOWEVER, there are subtle things that come with a man who has been successful for a very long time (that I personally) enjoy. Little things, such as, he has the thought and courtesy to ask if the restaurant you’ve just entered has a coat check. He asks YOU if you would like to taste the wine first. He thinks about the shoes you have on if it’s raining and should he find a way to help keep them dry while waiting for valet. He asks if you have money for parking at the airport at the end of your trip together. Those are little things that an experienced man (especially an experienced SD) thinks of that someone in the lower income bracket who may be new to this experience never even consider. Now those are not things I EXPECT, but they sure make me feel like I’m with a REAL man. Make sense?

  330. SincereSD says:

    IRLSD says: I am highly inclined to give the SB space, but knowing myself, I will lose interest quickly and doom the whole thing. I have a short attention span and there are too many fish in the sea so to speak. I tend to get over people very quickly–ok, except my IRL SB, I’m still in love with her.

    IRLSD, I think that is a good decision. You do not want to transfer the balance of power to a pot SB who could exploit your feelings or generosity.

    I get the impression you love the hunt and get infatuated very quickly.

    As for myself, I tend to shy away from SB that I like too much. I had a perfect match in all respects in my last search and we got along famously. I was afraid of getting too serious with her and declined to go on further dates as well as accepting her offers for test drives.

  331. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    SPup you must leave quite cheaply. I made 12.5k last year but about 10k after taxes, union dues, etc and I dont’ live well on that. If you take into consideration what most normal people need to live on, decent place to live, car, insurance, entertainment, food, etc. it can be quite costly.

  332. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    SPup: I have no doubt you live well on 15k – 20k a year. I have lived on those amounts and had a wonderful life with lots of fun & adventure. I now pay more then that in taxes and have made more then I am making today (the ups and downs are always a fun ride) but no matter how much I made my lifestyle adjusted. It is easy to think it won’t but it does, I haven’t met anyone that it didn’t adjust to some degree.

    I have met some pot SBs that didn’t want an allowance, only someone to take them out, not ask them to pay dutch, and provide trips and events. You could do this on $75k depending on your expenses but it would be tough.

  333. SPup says:

    IRLSD – I’d beg to differ. I live well off of 15k a year. I live very well off 20k a year. (I’m not currently making either of those =/) I travel the state on a regular basis (at least once a month, job related, and usually once more for pleasure). If I was making $50k I’d easily support an SB of my own at $500-$1k a meet + travel meeting roughly once a month.

    Granted, I prob couldn’t wine them and dine them like you do on that budget, but it just stands to be said that not everyone requires the same standard of living.

    However it does seem to be a small red flag for the ladies, and as it should when I look at it. It does look to be cutting the budget a little close.

  334. NEOhio SB says:

    Photogirl ~~ Exactly correct as I mentioned in my prior post. Many do fudge, some under to weed out potential gold diggers, however, I tend to believe many overstate income, allowance just to get a swam of interested SBs without ever having intentions of paying such stated allowance.

  335. photogirl says:

    NE Ohio SB – Aww shucks *blushes* thank you :)

  336. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Morning sugars!

  337. photogirl says:

    NCGent – What concert did you see? I am itching to get back into the pit!!!

    As far as the income/allowance range… If I remember correctly several months ago there was a discussion on this. I believe many of the SDs stated they fudged their income/net worth on their profiles to avoid being contacted by certain SBs?

    I honestly have not put too much thought on the income level provided on the profile as I was under the impression most fudged that number to the lower end. I do look at it but, I suppose I pay closer attention to whether or not they have a blue or orange account… I figure if they are not paying for an account…how serious are they about this? My profile is currently hidden and I actually have not logged in for awhile but the photos(if any) and the content of the profile makes a bigger impression on me than the income/net worth level listed.

    Thoughts on that?

  338. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    NEOhio SB, I haven’t been to California since 1973, I was 7. Mom used to take me every year on one of those tours of the West (NewMexico, Nevada, Utah, Cali, etc) We always stayed at the Hollywood Rosevelt.
    I don’t remember the trip very much.

  339. IRLSD says:

    As for an SD making $75K, it is impossible in my book. Sugar dating is a very expensive enterprise. One of these days I will calculate roughly how much I’ve spent on SBs and post it, but I think everyone will call me crazy. Escorts for sure are much cheaper.

    I am highly inclined to give the SB space, but knowing myself, I will lose interest quickly and doom the whole thing. I have a short attention span and there are too many fish in the sea so to speak. I tend to get over people very quickly–ok, except my IRL SB, I’m still in love with her.

  340. Anna Molly says:

    Hi to all the new bloggers! :)

    NC – What concert did you go to?

    Hi Sincere! Glad you had a sweet time with your SB :)

    I’m out running errands this morning :)

  341. NEOhio SB says:

    Good morning and Happy Friday to all !!
    Much to comment on, but little time to do so at the moment.

    NC Gent ~~ Re: Income and allowance on said profile. I tend to agree, it is not the most appealing to me, brings up a small red flag. However, in many past posts, both Flo and i believe NYCSB have commented on stated income vs. what is really in the finances. Some do tend to understate to weed out potential gold digger SBs, seeking only the higher end allowance. Exact financial stability is not available, ex: child support, etc…as neither are hidden assets with value, investments, etc. So, one truly never knows what the amounts coincide to.

    Lisa ~~ Your comments and posts “always” make me smile and sometimes even chuckle. Hope your SD jet sets you off to the Cali meet.

    Photogirl ~~ I think after midwests physical description of you batting your eyes with long eyelashes, we all have this adorable, shy yet stunning gal waiting for the right SD to sweep her away.

    Beach ~~ Sounds like you had an absolute blast……Wish VC and I could have been there to be at the La Perla boutique…would have been tons of fun.

    VC ~~ Bella….where are you??? Hoping you are getting ready for an incredible bday coming up. Talk to you later. :)

    And all the rest……..hope you have a great sugar filled weekend.

  342. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Thank NC Gent, only problem is the distance. I love NY but can’t travel there. Taking that trip last month when I haven’t been out of Texas in 7 years makes me want to travel more.

  343. SPup says:

    Um, er, uh *laughs* I tried 3 different ways and I can’t do it. Wait! This might do it.

    NCG – I think I just rolled a 20 for my spot check. <3

  344. NC Gent says:

    BTW – Hi Lisa — I think it is awesome that you have an SD! It sounds like it is making a nice impact in your life :)

  345. NC Gent says:

    Hi Sincere — I was hoping for a subtle approach because I think the feedback is definitely needed.

  346. VA SB says:

    Hi Sugars….I’m sitting here in an all day management briefing and decided to read the blog.

    After reading the posts, I really wish I could have attended the Chicago meet. But if all the SBs are as sexy and pretty as the SDs have stated, maybe it was good I stayed at home. 😉

    IRL – I tend to agree that maybe you should put some space in between you and the SB that you really like. Reach out to her in a week (give or take) and ask her to dinner. If she’s into you, you’ll get a very spcific response that will let you know that. If she is still non-chalant about the whole thing, then maybe not so much. Good luck though, I hope it works out for you.

    Will check in later…have to go pay attention to the presentation now… 😉


  347. SPup says:

    Huh, interesting. Looks like the ladies did the math on the high end. I was thinking 1k into 75k with a what looks to be a paid of home and car. *shrugs* I guess that’s just me giving the benefit of the doubt again.

  348. NC Gent says:

    Wow — dungeon and dragons flashback SPup — I had a little exposure to that, but that was many many years ago!

    Hey ElegantSugar — you make it sound bad that I am living I am still living in my parents basement!!! just kidding — I chuckled at your comment :)

  349. SincereSD says:

    NC Gent says: This is a pre-warning that the following is a loaded question, so please answer with tact and grace, like our bloggers usually do. SBs — would you consider an SD who states in his profile that is annual income is $50k to $75K; his net worth is $100k to $200k, and his budget is $1k to $3k per month?

    Hi NCG, it’s good to see you back on the blog. I’m not a SB but I’ll respond by saying it sounds fishy to me even on the low end of the allowance.

    I was thinking about the same thing when reviewing a profile but refrained from commenting publicly.

  350. SPup says:

    NCG – Yes. In fact I wouldn’t think twice about it. It’s the ones who’s budget would be over 1/4 (roughly speaking) of their annual income that bother me.

    (I wrote NCG and instantly though Neutral Chaotic Good? Man am I a geek)

  351. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    NC Gent I would be weary of that.
    I would take into thought that he might be divorced and paying childsupport/allimony which would take a big chunk of his income I would presume. Even if this isn’t the case, the tax rates on single people are very high. Net worth does not necessarily mean cash assets, it includes Home, cars, stocks, bonds, life insurance, etc and in my neighborhood which is less than nice, a modest home built 40 years ago sells for about 100-150k. The 1k might be manageable providing his expenses are low but I would think the 3k would be a little high up. It kind of reminds me of the ones that make 50k and offer 20k amonth. lol

  352. Anna Molly says:

    IRLSD – if you continue to chase her around she may get the idea that she can get away with seeing may different people and you would want to see her anyway. You could be setting yourself up to get used. Once again…JMO :)

    Hi BG and Cleo! :)

  353. Elle-Shooger says:

    NC Gent – that allowance seems highly unlikely for someone in that income bracket; unless he’s living at home with mom and she’s making him meatloaf for dinner every night. (Sorry, guys…I’m a bit sarcastic…but honest.)

  354. Elle-Shooger says:

    Thank you NC Gen and SPup. I’m happy to be here and look forward to getting to know all of you. I’m not a quiet voice and love to share so I hope to be a part of the cozy Sugar Family!

  355. NC Gent says:

    This is a pre-warning that the following is a loaded question, so please answer with tact and grace, like our bloggers usually do.

    SBs — would you consider an SD who states in his profile that is annual income is $50k to $75K; his net worth is $100k to $200k, and his budget is $1k to $3k per month?

  356. photogirl says:

    SPup and ElegantSugar – It does move fast in here most of the time. I don’t think anyone wants it to be ‘clickish’ it is NOT highschool after all…but yes hard to keep up with everything sometimes.

    If you do ask a question and no one responds, please… PLEASE repost again as it is very easy to get missed when it moves so fast, so don’t take it personally.

    We have a great group of bloggers here! The more the merrier!

    Sincere… you were missed! As were many others! But glad you had a good time with SB :)

  357. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Good morning

    I have to agree with SincereSd on his criticism of moonpatrol’s profile.
    Actually as a fellow Texan, I sent him an email myself (by request of my sd). After a few days I received a message that he is no longer looking for a sb.

    Gail, of Gail where are you? Get up, i’ve got the coffee made

  358. SincereSD says:

    Good morning everyone, especially PG and BG.

    I am kicking myself in the head for not going to Chicago. I would have enjoyed meeting you and singing Barry White tunes! Was too busy at work but had still had a good time tuesday night with my SB though.

  359. SPup says:

    ElegantSugar – ^_^ I know right? Such a chatty bunch. And so clickish too. It’s hard to get people to respond to you by name. The sewing circles make me feel like I’m back in high school again. =P

    Regulars – No worries it’s all in good fun (for me at least). While it’s true, I know it takes a while to get used to the new faces and a little more for people to warm up to me. ^_^ The chase is half the fun.

  360. NC Gent says:

    ElegantSugar — welcome to the blog — it is always nice to have new faces!

    I went to a concert last night with a client and I am a little slow this morning!

  361. SincereSD says:

    MoonPatrol says:… I’m not having too much fun in the sugar dad world. Now that I think of it I’ve not had any real fun. I must suck in some way. I have started thinking about a previous idea i looked at to be a cruiser and sail the carribean in a sailboat for a few years with a companion. I am not hitting the connections I desire or maybe i’m real close to it and need to steer the course and not quit. I got 2 weeks vacation and its getting near to my time to take it in the weeks to come. What is it about my profile that make them go ewww. I know I’m better looking and in better shape thAN most guys my age!

    MP, based on your blog post over the past few weeks I’ll offer up the following comments:

    What are you looking for
    Do you have “set” profile or match in mind? Take the time to figure out what qualities are important to you … it will help focus your search to better matches. For example, I found it surprising you were looking for a NYC SB when it sounds like you do not travel there very often.

    This is going to sound a bit harsh but your attitude needs to change. You sound somewhat bitter from past experiences and are looking for faults rather than the positive. If you are rejecting the majority of pot SB you are conversing with, there’s something wrong with your approach or you are targetting the wrong profiles. Be flexible and learn to compromise. Some of my best dates have been with pots that I wasn’t sure about.

    Expectations/ MBR
    Based on your comments from the half dozen pots you rejected, you sound uncomfortable with the idea of support. While I do not know that full details of the conversation, I find it surprising you would turn down 2 pots based on them wanting a laptop; laptops are relatively inexpensive and it should not make any difference whether they want a computer or monetary form of an allowance. Wrt the pot who was looking for help with her computer, I trust you understand that a good relationship is mutually beneficial.

    Lack of success
    Read my post about playing the odds or carpet bombing; it takes time to find the right SB. A revised approach and a change in attitude should yet much better results.

    Just my 2 cents but I heard similar feedback from another blogger.

  362. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    IRL SD – I don’t like drama or games. If I want to ask a woman out I do (option #4), if I don’t (option #1).

    Option #2: Why would you do this? You said she already knows this.

    Option #3: Drama and head games, no offense intended but not for me.

  363. SPup says:

    Taylor – Might want to check your butt for that sign. I think your friend at the bar was trying to take it off. =P I’d be willing to guess that, for the most part, you were getting that kind of attention already, you just didn’t notice it. Now that you’re noticing it, you’re responding to it, which only goes to increase the attention.

    But /enjoy/ it. If nothing else, take it as a complement. Some of us are not so lucky to outshine our friends. ^_^

  364. Elle-Shooger says:

    To PhotoGirl: Thank you for being gracious enough to welcome the new bloggers. :) In response to your wonderment about new bloggers posting once or twice and then leaving, it probably has to do with the fact they are jumping in 430 posts later (as I did) and then conversations continue and they can feel left out possibly? I tried not to feel that way as I know it seems some of you have known each other for a while. I hope to be more than just a 1-2 poster. :)

  365. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Taylor – please keep your options open a little? I know I had my heart set on a few SD’s and threw EVERYTHING by the wayside…only to have nothing come of it. Starting from scratch again is never fun – and with all of these IRL SD’s perhaps one of THEM is right for YOU :)

  366. Taylor says:

    Well…. he hasn’t logged on today yet which is a relief, for once. He took a night off! Well, he was in a car driving a long distance so that’s probably why. He will call me tomorrow, so he says.

    I went out last night with my girlfriend, and the first thing we did was walk up to the bar, and literally immediately upon getting there, a guy who looked like a pot SD indeed was chatting me up and asking to buy us drinks and then further questioning led me to understand that absolutely this man would be ideal for an arrangement. He travels here to my area more than once per month, and he doesn’t live obscenely far away, and in a city I love, etc…. He was funny, smooth, cool. But. But. I’m not into him! I wouldn’t be. Couldn’t be. He actually pinched my ass at one point. Excuse me while I swallow down a tiny bit of regurgitation. Pinch my ass? I’m not an escort, for goodness sakes. I guess he had been drinking and was feeling a little wild. Anyway, I’m just commenting about all this because I find it really FUNNY this week that every time I leave the house, SDs are finding me IRL! Everywhere! Like, do I have a sign on my forehead that says ‘pot SB currently without an arrangement’ ? :)

    But ya’ll know I just want the one I met. I miss him. I am not getting that feeling that he’s thinking about me all the time, though. Too bad. Thanks for sharing your empathy, guys. Especially LASB with her broken heart story. Hugs! It’s hard to wear your heart on your sleeve and get burned, isn’t it??

  367. Beach_Girl says:

    Photo~ lol, That was lol… way too funny…

    Sincere ~ He was singing Al Green to me!!! 😀

  368. photogirl says:

    Sincere – If you’re out there lurking… you would have gotten a kick out of the man on the street who began singing to Beach within less that 5 minutes AND he did tell her that he loved her!

    It made both of us think about your dream date in front of the fire with the music playing in the back ground.

  369. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    IRL SD – I would leave the ball in her court. That is just me – I don’t want to have to vie for anyone’s attention if I don’t have it already. Do you *really* want a SB that has MANY SD’s?? Safety…true intimacy?? I assume probably not so much…so is it *really* worth it unless she comes around on her own? That is MHO only of course…

  370. Beach_Girl says:

    2Chic~ hey Sweetie… I had a great time in Chicago!!!

    Taz~ I will be on tonight girl… I work all day .. :(

    Photo~ Purr, meow!!

    Midwest~ Kitty is right here…

    James~ custom’s was fine… Didn’t have any problems with the photos there… lol

    JSO~ Thank you , I don’t get all men to fall in love with me in the first 5 minutes… lol, but yeah that was pretty funny

  371. SPup says:

    And by option 3 I mean, add a week or two to your few days. If you don’t hear back it’s ok to reengage. But again, the point is that you don’t chase her down. Do something that proves your worth, then walk away like she’s not quite worthy… yet. ^_^

  372. cleo says:

    anna molly needing drugs for a plane ride and being a pill popper have very little in common

  373. Beach_Girl says:

    Anna~ Good morning!!!

    Photo~ I think it’s such a great idea… But then again I do love the sun.. Beach ,,, lol 😀

  374. SPup says:

    IRLSD – I’d hazard the guess that option 3 might get you the best results. Attraction is a skittish beast that likes to attack you from behind. Chase her down and she might run. Turn your back and walk away and she’ll likely follow.

    Then again, the rules for the sugarbowl might be very different than the conventional world.

  375. Anna Molly says:

    Your welcome IRLSD :)

  376. Anna Molly says:

    Hey Taz!! How are ya?

    PG ~ I fly, but I have to medicate myself…LOL. I don’t want to get off the plane all loopy.

    Just for the record I’m not a pill popper..LOL. I still have pain meds left over from when I sprained my ankle.

  377. IRLSD says:

    Thank you Anna Molly.

  378. Anna Molly says:

    IRLSD ~ I vote for option 1. I know it will be hard to play the waiting game, but at least this way you’ll know how much she really likes you. Although in these types of situations, sometimes it’s hard to gage if someone really likes you for who you are as a person or just your wallet. There are lots of great actresses out there… :)

  379. IRLSD says:

    Taz, so is that option 1 or 2?

  380. photogirl says:

    Anna – You don’t fly? :(

    Does not have to be the Bahamas… as long as it is WARM it is good!

    Yes Taz… get that passport!!! I got mine finally but have yet to use it… I am ready!

  381. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    IRL SD – I would hold off and explore your other options – just as she is. IF she is not the one for you – you will know out and not be completely out of pocket for it. Don’t give in to the chase – you recognize it yourself!!

  382. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    PG – I would LOVE a three day meet up cruise!! Wooohooo! Now I have to get my passport and maybe start fundraiser?? Lmao…You know I will always try – even if I can’t make it what a FABULOUS IDEA!!!

  383. IRLSD says:

    Anna Molly, I think the complicated thing is that these are long-distance meets and they have bought her tickets, etc already. But I agree in principle with what you say. But I have to pick from the following options:

    1. Just ignore her completely and wait for her to get back to me

    2. Text her and tell her that I’m interested but that she needs to meet the other pots first and then get back to me if she wants to pursue things further

    3. Ignore her for a few days and then ask her out to dinner next Thursday night (I should mention that we both agreed there would be a third date)

    4. Ask her out for Sunday night if/when she’s back from Miami to show that I am more serious about this (we agreed that we would meet twice a week)

    Any opinions/votes on what is the best option?

  384. Anna Molly says:

    Hi PG ~ I’m glad you had a good time in Chicago :)

    Instead of the Bahamas lets do a cruise to Bermuda instead. That way I don’t have to fly to get on the boat…LOL.

  385. Anna Molly says:

    IRLSD ~ Well, I wish I could tell you what to do. You seem to really like her. I have to say though that if she was really into you and not just shopping around for the best deal then she would cancel the dates with the other pots and enter into an arrangement with you. That is JMHO though….I’m certainly no expert when it comes to things like this…LOL.

  386. SPup says:

    Well despite LASB just /trying/ her best to get under my skin ^_- I don’t think I’ll be leaving anytime soon, though I don’t think I’ll be able to do this all day chat thing like several of you seem to.

    Anywho, I think I’m off to bed. Sadly I think I managed to stay up all night. I really need to correct this sleep schedule of mine. Actually on second thought, I think it’s prob time for some caffeine. I’ll push it today in hopes of maybe correcting my sleep over the weekend.

    Hrm, but I’ve got karaoke tonight… Perhaps I’ll stay up til 1-2ish then have a friend drag me out of bed for karaoke later tonight… Who knows, maybe I’ll manage to stay all day.

    I really hate it when I bork my sleep schedule like this =/ There’s no easy fix that’s guaranteed to work.

  387. photogirl says:

    Beach and I were talking in Chicago (as we were standing outside in the cold) about how fun it would be to do a 3 day cruise to the Bahamas or something as a meet… any thoughts? Is that something with enough notice that most people would be able to do or would even be interested in?

  388. photogirl says:

    Good morning Anna!

    I failed to say welcome to all the new bloggers…so welcome! It is great to have more people here.

    Gail – You’re right… it is great to see new bloggers but is too bad when they vanish after a post or two.

    I suppose I should answer the questions now…

    Do you play-up or play-down certain aspects of your personality to enhance the sugar? If so, how?
    No I do not think I do… I am just myself… although as you are all well aware now after the Chicago update, yes, I am a rather shy person but it does not take long for me to warm up.

    What can help a sugar daddy arrangement stay fresh and exciting? Any tips?
    Nothing to add at the moment… I’ll let you know next month 😉 ugh…seems so far away!!!

  389. IRLSD says:

    OK I guess. Getting ready to go to work and trying to figure out my SB situation: should i let things fester till she is done meeting all her other pots, should i push ahead with more interest, or should i distract myself with other SB pots? I guess my immediate question is whether to ask her out to dinner on Sunday, assuming she gets back from her sugar trip early enough. Decisions, decisions.

  390. Anna Molly says:

    Hi IRLSD! How are you this morning?

  391. IRLSD says:

    Good morning Anna Molly :)

  392. Anna Molly says:

    Is there anyone out there this morning? :)

  393. Elle-Shooger says:

    Hello Beautiful People in SugarLand!

    First time poster here. I have been reading for a couple of weeks now and it seems this is a great forum for sharing with other SBs and of course, SDs.

    Although I am new to the blog, I am not new to SD/SB arrangements. I officially became a SB last March (met one almost the same week I signed up) and so far have had two wonderful SDs total. I am now without an SD. Both of my previous arrangements ended for different reasons and precisely when they needed to and on great terms. In fact, I had dinner last week with my first SD and his new SB and my second one is coming to visit in a few weeks to catch up and have drinks. I must say, this time around with my search, it has been discouraging to say the least. It appears as though there are many BOYS on here now pretending to be wealthy men just to collect photos or ‘chat’ with women they wouldn’t otherwise have a chance with.

    I am interested in learning more about these ‘meets’. Although I am about to hit a year with SA, I only recently started visiting the blog. My last two SDs kept me so busy and they were truly, truly amazing experiences so I did not have the need to get back on the site to visit until recently.

    Ok, time to answer the questions. (I’m not shy, in case you haven’t noticed.)

    Do you play-up or play-down certain aspects of your personality to enhance the sugar? If so, how?

    I am always (ALWAYS) true to myself and my pot SD. No need to be something you’re not. The truth always rises to the top after time together so why not be yourself upfront? I guess I can see where in certain situations (as I read in some of the responses) where you may show MORE of an aspect of your personality so the pot SD can see you are a fit for what he is searching for.

    What can help a sugar daddy arrangement stay fresh and exciting? Any tips?

    Letting your SD know you are thinking about him when you are not together. Don’t be mechanical in your actions; be genuine and sincere. Remember little things they tell you and maybe surprise them with something they mentioned in passing showing them you truly listen. (Example: My first SD told me he had never tried sake, which surprised me because he was such a well-traveled, cultured, first class type of man. He always wanted to, but never had.) So, weeks later I surprised him with bringing a sake set and high quality sake over and taught him how to do sake bombs before we went out to dinner. He was so appreciative of that little gesture.

    Care to give your 2010 sugar introduction? What kind of sugar are you, now?

    See my intro above.

    Well, nice ‘meeting’ everyone and I hope to be an active addition to this wonderful blog.

    Have a fabulous day, Sugars! Stay positive and gorgeous…

  394. SPup says:

    SM but I wouldn’t turn down a platonic SD. I’m not phobic, ok with a certain amount of flirting, and I’ve been used for bait before. I also make some for great company, or so I’ve been told ^_^

    It was my understanding that a sugar puppy was generally considered male. Hence the name.

  395. LASB says:

    OOOOOOOHHHHHHH. Damn, I’m dense! Now it’s all coming together. Maybe you need to call yourself MSB or BSB (boy SB) or something. There’s another male SB on the blog sometimes. Ok, so before I make any more assumptions (yes, I am ready to put the shovel down. hehe) are you looking for an SM or SD?

  396. SPup says:

    *laughs* It’s ok. I tend to speak from both sides of the table since I’m male.

  397. LASB says:

    SPup – Oh, I’m soooo sorry I misunderstood! I thought you were at first, but then I thought I read something that said you were an SD. Maybe that half glass was too much wine for my lightweight self. :( :p

  398. SPup says:

    LASB I’m a SB as well love. ^_^

  399. LASB says:

    Stephen – Do you recycle profile numbers? A pot I’ve been speaking with is raising a few red flags as a liar. So to test my theory, I asked him how long he has been on the site. He said a few months, yet his profile number is only 5 digits. Anyone care to comment on this?

  400. LASB says:

    Taylor – Sorry for what you are going through. A very similar thing happened to me a few years ago. I was deeply into a guy who had not deleted his dating profile. After we had dated for 3 months at the time, a friend of mine emailed his profile, posing as someone else. He replied, sounding interested. She told me about this and then deleted her fake profile before he was able to ask her out. The heaviness in my chest and knot in my throat didn’t stop me. I was already so in love. I’m not the type to live in fear. I enjoyed spending time with him, so I never mentioned him and just let it play out. Months later he totally broke my heart. Some may say I sold myself short, but again, when I love, I do it with reckless abandon, regardless of how hard I may hit the ground when the free fall is over.

    TT – I’m with you. I have been pretty picky. Today’s pot date was soooooooo boring, that I just wanted to get the heck out of there. On the other hand, because I keep turning these guys down, I have no sugar. Well, the sugar hunt journey is still entertaining to me, so I’ll keep doing it.

    Cali SB – I’m glad your dog is on her way to recovery. How are your cupcakes? :) And I agree, no sulking!!

    Moon, JSO, S-pup, other SDs – I’m open to hearing from blog SDs anytime, as I’m sure many of the blog SBs would be. So yeah, no SD pity parties!!! :)

  401. Sb-emy says:

    Hey guys,

    A sd from this site recently contacted me from another state, the only problem is, I cannot go and visit him an if he were to see me, his earliest free time would be 6 weeks!! It’s a shame that things are moving so slowly, I may have to consider another option..

  402. CA Dreamin SB says:

    No sulking! :)

  403. SPup says:

    So is sulking in a corner the way to get mail around here? If so that’s a skill I need to pick up ^_^

  404. SPup says:

    Aww Gail, don’t despair you’re not alone in your hunt. ^_^

  405. Cali SB says:

    JSO — You won’t share your profile with the rest of us? You don’t send me mail.. *sulks in corner*

  406. Gail says:

    JSO….sorry sweetie…didn’t mean to do that…just wanted to point out to you there are so many wonderful SB right underneath your noses : ) One thing I do have to say you are so right…the SD/SB meets are a great way to meet and network. Do you have any great SD friends for me JSO, IRLSD, and Moonpatrol ? Now I am not 20 something but I am not bad looking either at my age : ) lol…..and please respond….I need fun and excitement in my life soon….or I will wilt and die : (

  407. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Night JSO

  408. JSO - TXSD says:

    really going to bed now. goodnight everyone.

  409. JSO - TXSD says:

    Gail – thank you for making me feel worse…lol

  410. IRLSD says:

    MoonPatrol, not sure if you saw my previous post.

  411. JSO - TXSD says:

    INRLSD – from when I was 23 yes but that is a very old saying about something else….lol

  412. Gail says:

    Where am I? The lonely hearts SD blog? Lord help you all….maybe you should make dates with all of us here : )

    By the way…looks like I missed a wonderful Chicago meet. Gail just doesnt do cold in the winter….imagine that a Filipino with a pink nose.
    I plan to be at the next one…and yes I want to dance after I drink some shots of bacardi!!!!

    Anyone else up this evening?

  413. IRLSD says:

    JSO – TXSD, I am not sure why everyone assumes the SBs I meet are idiots who cannot hold a conversation. Granted that I talk so much that even a shy SB would never experience a quiet moment with me, it is very rare to meet an SB who does not keep me entertained. I do agree with what you say though–but finding that type of connection is difficult. I think more carpet bombing might yield the right person eventually. You figure if I meet 100 SBs, 1 has to be right, no?

  414. JSO - TXSD says:

    INRLSD shoot me an email and tell me what you are really doing please. I will anserw it in the morning.

  415. CA Dreamin SB says:

    JSO – yep, that’s where I sent it – maybe check your spam folder :)

  416. JSO - TXSD says:

    ca dreamin – not yet….

  417. JSO - TXSD says:

    IRLSD – you have work. Do you have a life? If you do not. Make a change. It is worth it. It is ok to care. Just screen better and do not carpet bomb girls that can not hold a conversation with you. It is about the mind. look within 10 years. you do not need the arm candy. you need a girl on your arm that is arm candy because she digs you and you dig her.

  418. CA Dreamin SB says:

    JSO – again, you have mail

  419. MoonPatrol says:

    I’ve been by myself a lot except for a marriage, and have lots of things to keep me busy. I like being alone too, but I gotta keep an eye on the future .. I think I need to just meet a good woman that brings my confidence back instead of plopping with some gals that don’t really have any business being with me. I kind of have my aim high at present but my current environment doesn’t give much opportunity to excercise it.

  420. CA Dreamin SB says:

    JSO – now I’m sulking…

  421. JSO - TXSD says:

    ca dreamin
    yes i am retraded

  422. CA Dreamin SB says:

    JSO – you have mail

  423. IRLSD says:

    Happy, no. Sugar dating has brought me some pleasant moments but more drama and heart ache than happiness. Maybe my female employee is right–i need to just see the SB as a “piece of a–” and not get too involved beyond sex. One SB I have is just like that–we meet, have sex, and go our ways. It’s not that satisfying in some ways, but in others, it is just perfect.

    Also, I told this SB tonight that I am not looking. I will see if things work out with her and if they don’t I’ll just look for someone else then. But I left out the fact that I have another SB. Plus, I got annoyed at her having other dates, so I just e-mailed a couple of other pots. Only fair, I figured.

  424. JSO - TXSD says:

    ca dreamin –

  425. CA Dreamin SB says:

    JSO, darlin, I don’t have your profile number!

  426. JSO - TXSD says:

    moonpatrol sorry it is ok to be by yourself. sorry cant type

  427. JSO - TXSD says:

    Moon patrol – until you set a goal of six months(that is to keep you sane) do not worry about it. Your vacation? take it you are alright. It is ok to be by reself. if you act desperate(no matter how great of a guy you are) you will seem that way. This is not a reace.
    IRLSD – I wish you all the luck in the world. But ask youself if you are happy?
    and be true to yourself first and always. but if you are not. Then make one change at a time.

  428. JSO - TXSD says:

    ca dreamin. – You dont send me mail….****goes to corner and sulks*****

  429. MoonPatrol says:

    IRLSD, You may be right that all the girls are coming out of holiday and winter hibernation. I like my profile too other than I could take newer pictures and I even look better now after a season of sports. But its timing and my thing is ON right now but my other people are in a daze right now and missing the broadcast. I have been attracting crazies like just down on their finances crazies and more desperate for money than male sex and intimacy.

  430. IRLSD says:

    PlainJane, good point. I told her what her allowance would be last week in person and she said it would be enough. She had one serious and exclusive SD that lasted 2 years and he took care of all her bills and gave her money, etc. I told her that I am happy to give her a set allowance but that I would prefer over the long haul to know someone well enough to take care of everything regardless of the set allowance–i.e. pay her tuition and rent and bills and get her a credit card, etc. so she just doesn’t have to worry about anything. I have enough experience now not to try to buy someone by showering her with money up front–it’s a recipe for being used.

  431. JSO - TXSD says:

    just checking the blog.
    IRLSD – Just be true to yourself. Unless you want to change do not worry about it.

  432. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Moonpatrol – you have SA Mail

  433. PlainJane says:

    IRLSD, are you prepared to increase her allowance enough for her to consider staying with only one SD? Maybe she’s just a very high maintenance girl who requires a high total allowance to keep her attention.

  434. IRLSD says:

    MoonPatrol, I saw your profile several days ago and I really liked it. I think the issue is not you or your profile but rather the type of women you’re attracting. Funny thing is when I tell SBs I meet about my previous SBs, they all say, “Wow, you attract all the crazies,” which then makes me wonder, “Is she then one of them?”

  435. IRLSD says:

    CA Dreamin SB, you are totally right. Part of me wonders if my interest in her is due to the challenge, which means it will be gone once the challenge is gone. I will not say anything about her meeting the other guys. But what will be hard is for me to maintain interest over the next month knowing that I can’t get attached. The unfortunate thing with her is that she is a newbie to SA, so she still has magical views of whom she might meet. I like SBs whose fantasies have been tempered by reality after they have met several other SD pots.

  436. MoonPatrol says:

    CA dream-
    Pls look at my profile by selecting my name, and I would welcome your comments.

  437. Niki says:

    Hi everyone. Midwest–I’m so flattered of your view of me. (I definitely blushed a bit.) James–no bruised feet here.
    It was so much fun meeting up with everyone and getting to know how wonderful you all are. I can’t think of anything else to add to the other summaries of the evening. I wholeheartedly agree that anyone would be lucky to have a relationship with one of these amazing individuals.
    Now I should probably answer the questions:
    Do you play-up or play-down certain aspects of your personality to enhance the sugar? If so, how?
    I think people bring out the best in each other and your personality will shine through without the need to “play-up or play-down” certain aspects.
    What can help a sugar daddy arrangement stay fresh and exciting? Any tips?
    Have fun together. When you can talk and laugh and have new or interesting experiences together…every moment together is a fresh and exciting experience with the time apart making you appreciate and anticipate the next time.
    Care to give your 2010 sugar introduction? What kind of sugar are you, now?
    Hmm…I guess I’d say that I’m enjoying life and open to just about anything. I’m pretty low key…what you see is what you get.

  438. CA Dreamin SB says:

    IRLSD – WOW…sucks hmm? :) Okay – constructive comments now. I don’t think you should make these demands from her. MAYBE knowing she has other options will keep you intrested in her longer – seeing if you CAN build the relationship so she doesn’t want to see the others. Raises the level of the challenge, perhaps, which is something I’m not sure you’ve ever had to deal with.

  439. IRLSD says:

    Moon Patrol, e-mail me at some point

  440. IRLSD says:

    Taylor, you remind me of myself. I have no problems finding women, but when a woman is a challenge I get overly infatuated. But then I drop her like a hot potato as soon as she gets on my nerves. I really have no idea how any SB is ever going to actually get it to work with me over time. It is like walking a tightrope—too much interest and I feel smothered and lose interest, and too little interest and I get annoyed and move on rather quickly.

  441. IRLSD says:

    Getting a taste of my own medicine

    I went on date #2 with the SB I met last Thursday. I liked her before but, as I told her tonight, I liked her even more the second time and we both agreed there would be a third date. We even discussed how long our relationship should last and she said, “Five years,” which I am OK with. But the story is this: she has four other long-distance SDs she has travel plans in place to meet. She met one this past weekend and the next three weekends she has other trips planned to meet others. Before this second date she asked for compensation, and I told her that since she is still looking I’d offer her a provisional arrangement, which means half the allowance (divided into two equal payments at the beginning and middle of the month) but she can look around and so can I, and she agreed. Except that now that I like her more seriously after this second date, it is starting to bother me some. It’s not so much the competition or even envy, but the fact that I don’t feel like I can really develop a relationship when there are all these other elephants in the room, so to speak. Part of me wants to tell her to go explore and not to see each other till she makes up her mind, and part of me wants to tell her to cancel the other trips and I’d reimburse the other SDs for lost travel plan money. Any suggestions?

  442. CA Dreamin SB says:

    MoonPatrol – if you like, I’ll take a look at your profile and offer some constructive criticism…

  443. MoonPatrol says:

    I’m not having too much fun in the sugar dad world. Now that I think of it I’ve not had any real fun. I must suck in some way. I have started thinking about a previous idea i looked at to be a cruiser and sail the carribean in a sailboat for a few years with a companion. I am not hitting the connections I desire or maybe i’m real close to it and need to steer the course and not quit. I got 2 weeks vacation and its getting near to my time to take it in the weeks to come. What is it about my profile that make them go ewww. I know I’m better looking and in better shape thAN most guys my age!

  444. CA Dreamin SB says:

    You haven’t JSO – but have a great night

  445. JSO - TXSD says:

    Since I have driven everyone off. I am going to bed. take care.

  446. JSO - TXSD says:

    for the record. everyone needs to think about getting in on these meet and greets. It is a good way to build up a support group for what we go through trying to find what we are looking for.

  447. Cali SB says:

    Back from the vet. I guess the vet thinks it’s just a sinus infection/upper respiratory infection so now my doggie’s on 2 antibiotics in addition to her 2 heart meds and immune system booster. We went to the pet store afterwards and I got her a smorgusboard of wet food since we didn’t have any left. She pigged out and is passed out in her bed now. :)

    I, on the other hand, am starving.. trying to be patient while waiting for my chicken alfredo leftovers from last night to reheat in the oven while I make croissants. Mmmmm!!!

  448. Midwest SB says:

    JSO – He’s got it.

    I’m off to dreamland. Goodnight sugars!

  449. JSO - TXSD says:

    midwest please make sure, are you make sure i get james’s email. tommrow i will have a lot of questions on a gun. thanks

  450. Midwest SB says:

    james – The gentleman dancing with Nikki and I doesn’t know it yet, but he’s a potential in training. He was looking at you guys saying “I want to be like them!”

    Actually, I think he just joined us while we were dancing up front???

    JSO – yes, you did several tequilla shots tough guy!

  451. james.m says:

    Night All!

  452. JSO - TXSD says:

    James I dont remember(not really).
    It was sir great to meet you.

  453. CA Dreamin SB says:

    James – very nice!

  454. james.m says:

    CA D – or shots. They were tequila, by the way JSO

  455. CA Dreamin SB says:

    JSO – at the next meet – I’ll be there – and if you are, at the very least, I get a twirl from you!

  456. Midwest SB says:

    While I was *patiently* waiting for my future SD to write me back, I went on a date or two, kept my options open and did not take it personally that he did not write back. It’s all a part of the process and completely worth it in the long run. Hang in there ladies…he’s out there!

  457. CA Dreamin SB says:

    JSO – I was snow-skiing with a female friend I’ve known for 25 years, who is also a notorious early-to-bed, early-to-rise girl. There was nothing but skiing – no dancing and certainly no twirling or dipping!

  458. JSO - TXSD says:

    ca dreamin – I am just kidding with you.

  459. JSO - TXSD says:

    James shoot me an email(get it from midwest) I still want to know more about the range in las vegas you were talking about. and have some friends that might want to talk about how someone got 001 on the bar

  460. JSO - TXSD says:

    ca dreamin – this from a women who just got back from snow sking?

  461. Midwest SB says:

    SPup and Taz – I got nothin’…burned too many brain cells to recall which blog discussed the merits of who contacting who first. The question has reappeared many times and a ctrl F on a random blog may help find the answer.

    Goes back to a search feature that covers all the blogs at once…can that be done?

    JSO – Too funny – no growths ladies…at least not that I could see.

  462. JSO - TXSD says:

    James Im not scared. You are a good dancer. I dont care what SDN says.
    I must have been doing shots. I do not recall that.

  463. 2Chic says:

    Taz, thanks for the input, you’re my girl 😉

  464. CA Dreamin SB says:

    I’m so envious – sounds like I missed a great party

  465. james.m says:

    JSO – actually, it is the one of me twirling you that has me worried. And, who WAS that guy (from another table) that Niki and Midwest were dancing with?

  466. james.m says:

    SPup – Midwest did contact her SD first, and then she patiently waited a full month before contacting him again. He finally realized the errors of his ways, and met passed a couple of e-mails with her before meeting. He went to her, which is what I think an SD should do on the first meeting, for a number of reasons elaborated above. It was his loss not to have responded sooner.

  467. JSO - TXSD says:

    james if you are scared of being in a picture with SDN dipping you just have midwest not post it…lol

  468. Midwest SB says:

    SPup – I made first contact with my SD and it is still very sugary :-)

  469. Taylor says:

    Perhaps he reads the blogs. I hope so. I want him to know how much I genuinely like him. Or if he is seeking something else, then I want him to go find that.
    I’m starting to believe you guys that if it is just not meant to be with him, then it’s just not, and that’s fine since I have no trouble with the opposite sex or in any other respect either. I just really miss him already and will continue to do so for awhile. That’s life, that’s crushes, that’s a big open heart. I don’t want to trade mine in for a different type so I guess I’m cursed.

    Maybe he’ll surprise me. But if he’s multiple times per day on SA despite his busy life, then I suspect he just isn’t that into me, as I had hoped. I learned my lesson and won’t get caught up or intimately carried away on future first dates.

  470. james.m says:

    Beach and Midwest – I have now reviewed the pictures. I definately think posting them is NOT a good idea! I’m not sure we can’t be arrested for some of what’s depicted! Although, you probably could sell the one of Midwest and PG with their snuggies in the restaurant to Snuggies for advertising purposes.

    Actually, they are hysterical, BG. I’m surprised Customs allowed you to take them across the border.

  471. JSO - TXSD says:

    And for the record midwest is not telling the truth. I have a growth on the side of my head and speak with a koren accent.

  472. PlainJane says:

    Do you play-up or play-down certain aspects of your personality to enhance the sugar? If so, how?

    Maybe on my profile, yes, but only because that’s such a 2D way of looking at a person. Your profile is the place to emphasize the traits that are obvious in real life.

    What can help a sugar daddy arrangement stay fresh and exciting? Any tips?

    More sugar from both ends – surprise your sb with more allowance than expected, or something nice and high end like a digital camera, a gps, a cell phone, an ipod touch (am I projecting here?) so that she can spend her allowance on other things. For sbs, go the whole nine yards. Buy that dress that does everything right for your figure, and those shoes that make your legs 6 inches longer. Wear the underwear he likes. Do the things he likes in the bedroom (no, not just that – backrubs, etc).

    Care to give your 2010 sugar introduction? What kind of sugar are you, now?

    Hi, I’m Jane, I’m a seasoned SB (became “bonafide” last spring with my first SD who I found on SA, who has since moved to FL – longtime lurker, first time poster) looking for a great SD. I am a lot less shy and retiring this go-round – I know what I want and what I have to offer and I’m really not afraid to lay it all out on the table. I’m not scared of the allowance conversation any more. I’m also finally 21! So I can meet for cocktails instead of coffee, which feels infinitely more grown up and dignified. I prefer an arrangement which is very low-stress for both of us – no strings, no drama, just wonderful fun, great food and drink (both are very important me – I’m a huge foodie!), and sugar that goes both ways.

  473. JSO - TXSD says:

    thoughts from meet from a guys perspective.
    Midwest – the woman you want by your side when you host a party for 100 people. Smart as heck and gets everyone talking(and very pretty).
    Beach – guys really do fall in love with her in the first five minutes of meeting her(also sharp as a tac).
    Photo – very pretty and as solid as a rock. Is very pettie but you know she can handle 20 things at once.
    james – he is the guy you want to be when you grow up(i just dont like the fact he has a full head of hair and does not have to color it). Just a little dig james.
    SDN – smart and good looking and can plan anything on the fly and make it happen.
    nikki – I want her to beat me up. she is sexy and can out do guys on guy stuff.

    all the guys like SDN said would be lucky to have them as a SB’s.

    The meet to me went just like I really thought it would. A great group of people getting togatherthat talk on a blog and cemmenting friendships. I am very lucky to have gone. I feel I have made friends for life.

  474. CA Dreamin SB says:

    JSO – from the re-caps given earlier…I believe you have a couple of new blog fans :)

  475. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Wooohooo JSO! Yay – pictures :)

  476. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    SPup – as far as blog topics – Midwest is usually pretty spot on about that..perhaps TXSB knows?? Come on ladies!! Help?!

  477. SPup says:

    TT – Oh no offence. And I see where you’re coming from. I don’t disagree with that explanation at all. You’ll find that I often play devils advocate. I’m much more understanding than my debative nature makes me out to be <3

    TT – *Laughs* I hate to think of trying to go through the archives. SOOO much stuff. I'd be here for weeks I'm afraid. Did it happen to be one of the actual blog topics? If not, can you think of one of the blog topics it might be under?

    All this talk of pictures has me excited. For the love of your chosen savior, please get these ladies their pictures so they'll stop begging for them ^_^

  478. JSO - TXSD says:

    just got home from chicago meet.
    had a great time.
    Fine with me to share pics of meet

  479. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    SPUP – I AM very selective. And I still do not have a SD so may be completely shooting myself in the foot when it comes to some sd’s (definitely hard to come by with my location). But really if all he is worried about is my body rather than me, really I don’t need a SD. I have lowered my standards many times in life and refuse to do so now. On that note, if there is a complete change of character from first contact to when we start chatting – that should tell me everything. I absolutely do gently but firmly explain what I am seeking, and usually after that their comment tells you everything…as I said *if* he seems genuine and perhaps misinformed, that is different. Not sure where you are located, but around here it is a lot of escort seekers, and men wanting free test drives – no time for that. Perhpas b/c I was rushing when I was posting (just really wanted a chance to speak to 2Chic since she asked – while she was still there) I came across a bit ‘short’ – but that is not me at all…I have a daughter and I don’t have the same time available to go meet every SD that ‘seems’ nice as a SB that does not have the same responsibilities. My comment was directed at 2Chic KNOWING that she has time restrictions as I do. I am not saying my way is right or wrong – she just asked for advice right. Sorry to have obviously offended you.

    SPUP – also if you go through the archives you will find a lot of discussion on contacting on SD’s first and their opinions :)

    Midwest, PG, BG – ladies! pics??? Ummm puuuhhhleease??? Let is live vicariously!!!

  480. 2Chic says:

    BeachG, how are you !

    I wanna see the pics too. :0

  481. photogirl says:

    Beach_Girl says:
    Midwest~ hahha Yeah.. I know! It was too funny…
    To everyone Photogirl took me to La Perla and I took her to Starbucks.. lol
    then we went to the hotel room and I showed her my undies

    I cannot stop laughing…

    purrrr… beach is so sexy :)

  482. CA Dreamin SB says:

    SPup – I’ve made first contact with a few potential SD’s – met one of them – it didn’t work out but he was a great guy. I’m talking with one potential right now, and I suppose I made first contact as I checked out his profile and ‘favorited’ him – then he emailed me. We’ll see what happens with this one.

    Frankly, I see no harm in contacting a potential SD…I figure there are A LOT of potential SB’s out there, and, I save him some of the searching if I just email him :)

  483. SPup says:

    Wow, so much to miss in one day. I’m not sure how I’m going to keep up. Guess I’m going to have to start taking notes as I read. ^_^

    Taylor – <3 It seems you've gotten all the advice you need, but I can't help to imagine the heartache you go through on a regular basis. It's tough to wear your heart on your sleeve. I hope things go well for you. Just remember things will work out if their supposed to. Don't sweat the small stuff. And when you're being open about your feelings, try toning them down a notch or two. Most guys spook easy when it comes to feelings. ^_^

    Always travel with a backup plan. – Noted.

    TT – While I like your approach, some of us may feel like we can't be as picky as you make yourself out to be. Myself personally, I tend to try and give people as many chances as I can. This goes more for the "pay" than the shirt. I can see your point and I agree that it's a choice of words that often show the wrong mindset, but I also believe that while they might start with that mindset, they might be open to other ideas. If I were on the other side I would like a chance to understand what I said that was wrong and how.

    Um let's see what else was there. Hi everyone that's new. There was two or three iirc. I'm new myself. Oooh, who had the traffic ticket? Let's see…

    Cali – One thing you can try is see if you qualify for a court lawyer. Most of the time, if it's for a non dangerous crime and you qualify, they'd rather just drop the ticket. Luck!

    On the multi-sugar situation – For me, I would be hard pressed to make a sugar relationship exclusive. From a SB standpoint, all my needs would have to be taken care of and then some on top of some great chemistry. Even then it would only be sugar exclusive. Non-sugar relationships come first for me. From an SD point of view, I'd only be exclusive if we both agreed that it was nonsugar-LTR potential. I wouldn't have thought this way a few years ago, but I've been changed by a few relationships I had.

    While I won't go into the full story unless someone asks (lots of typing ^_^) the outcome was I found myself in a FWB relationship with 5 different girls. They all knew about each other, and while they may have been jealous about my time, I was never asked once if one of them was my favorite. Looking back it was kind of like I was an SD only instead of financial support I was giving emotional support.

    Anywho, my point is I've found that I've come to respect and want that kind of openness and mindset in a relationship that's not marriage bound. For me it has always made sense, but after I realized that it wasn't just the selfish mandog that lives inside of me, I've come to embrace it. Next topic.

    For those that missed it, I'm still looking to see how the sugarbowl feels about the SB making the first contact in a pot sugar relationship. =P

    With that I think it's time for me to stop typing and get something to eat.

  484. ESB says:

    I feel like I missed out on a college slumber party! I’m really dissapointed I couldn’t be there, especially now

  485. Beach_Girl says:

    Midwest~ hahha Yeah.. I know! It was too funny…
    To everyone Photogirl took me to La Perla and I took her to Starbucks.. lol
    then we went to the hotel room and I showed her my undies 😉

  486. Midwest SB says:

    Here kitty, kitty…love the pic at LaPerla!

  487. Beach_Girl says:

    I will share that I have a IRL and blog crush on Midwest , meow….

  488. ESB says:

    LOL.. that is too cute!!

    I have a blog crush on NYSB… at least her life style anyway. Would love to trade places for a day.. 😉

  489. Midwest SB says:

    I will share that Beach and I have serious blog crushes on each other 😛

  490. ESB says:

    ok that is fair… get clearance ASAP

  491. CA Dreamin SB says:

    I want to see too!!!!

  492. Midwest SB says:

    Ladies – Awwww…we will need clearance from all involved…don’t blame the messenger!

  493. ESB says:

    midwest, please send to my email!! I wanna see… please please plaese! (your making me beg here, so not cool) :)

  494. Anna Molly says:

    I wanna see some pictures!!!!

  495. ESB says:

    VA & DC: I don’t know DC that well, but have a tomtom (who HATES DC by the way) and can find just about anyplace. Let me know when and where… preferably on a weekend night! Can’t do late nights during the week. I got a 15 YO to transport to school in the AM, hard enought to get up when we go to bed at 10!!

  496. Midwest SB says:

    BWAH hahahahahahaha….just saw some pics from Chicago! ROTFLMAO!!!

  497. VA SB says:

    DC – Yes, we absolutely should! It would be a blast and it’s always good to meet new friends.

    Dilemma – I tend to agree that maybe this is something to just walk away from. While it may not seem “right” – especially with so many other SBs still searching for at least one good SD, it does smell of drama and your good intentions may be misunderstood. Messy, messy, messy…

  498. DC SB says:

    Boston: I agree w/ ontario – meet the local SD first. See if you’re comfy with that situation and then consider meeting SD 2.

  499. ESB says:

    Red flags…#1 – He kept trying to turn the conversations to sex.

    #2 – He wouldn’t talk about an arrangement. Was quiet vague about it, “you’ll be taken very good care of” HA guess he proved that one wrong.

    #3 – I felt like he was trying to sell me himself. I’m in sales, he uses the usual clichés. Like he was trying to placate me.

    I’m sure there were more, but my brain is doing it’s best to forget the whole mess, so I’m going to let it! :)

  500. DC SB says:

    Gail, ESB & VA SB. So now that we have 4, we have to start planning a date! =)

    2Chic – Honestly, I think there is no hard and fast rule. For instance, my profile showed skin, and I did get some incredibly sketchy SDs, but the ones I have now are very respectable men, and very gentlemen-like. So who really knows what these guys are thinking. I do think a good majority of the men on SA are trying to just get in the various SBs’ pants.. so it could just be that your luck thus far have only seen that quality ^^ but if you continue I’m sure you’re luck will change and you’ll find the right guy for you.

    Midwest – egg rolls do sound yum.. not cooking is the best! 😀

    SBw/adilemma: I’m leaning towards not telling him… as you have no relationship with either of the two, so it’s not your battle to fight. But then again, a part of me feels bad for the guy.
    I think time will show her true colors. If she really has FIVE SDs and none of them know about the other, she’ll not have much time to spend with all of them, and they’ll notice she doesn’t remember what they said the date before, or she repeats herself or cancels dates or is always busy etc.
    If you already have an SD don’t worry about them and focus on your SD and your relationship with him. At the end of the day you know you’re the better person.

  501. Midwest SB says:

    Boston Nikki – it sounds like you are on the right track. I agree that #2 and #3 sound like great potentials.

    Dilemma – To tell or not to tell…there was a similar question on the flip side…an sd getting in touch with sbs who knew his sb. It’s really up to you. Personally, I detest drama and this smells of drama. I would just remove myself from the situation and let the pieces fall where they may.

  502. 2Chic says:

    Thanks everyone

  503. ontariosugarbaby says:

    hey Boston.

    number 2 and 3 sound good. I think think its your first sugar date I would meet the local guy first. You are going to be nervous enough, I personally wouldnt want to add being in a foreign place to the list of things to make me nervous. Stay in contact with number 2, it was a really good sign he gave you contact info, if you are feeling nervous about flying to meet him, maybe he could be okay with flying to you for the first meet, then there is less risk for you.
    Let us know how it works out!

  504. BostonSB nikki says:

    Have three pot SD and I’m in the process of screening them for validity. I can’t help but have the “worst nightmare” in the back of my head.

    Pot SD #1: Talked on the phone for a little, hit it off from the start. We had a bunch in common. But then the conversation suddenly changed from his asking what my height and weight are, to him going into full phone sex. He kept saying things he wanted to do for me. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say ‘red flag’.

    Pot SD #2: Talked on the phone as well, seemed nice and honest. We talked about interests and he asked me about what I like to do. At least this time I felt like he was interested in who I was. No mention of sex whatsoever. He invited to fly me down to see him this weekend, but I told him maybe next weekend. That I’d prefer to talk a bit more before I went anywhere. He said he respected that and would love to talk to me again soon. He gave me his name and info and said I could check him out through google. Everything looks like it adds up. Still hesitant, but so far so good.

    Pot SD #3: Local, which is nice. Haven’t talked on the phone but exchanged a few emails. Hoping to have lunch with him this week, but haven’t heard back from the last email. He and I are the same page as far as what we’re looking for, the pace, and he even said that the financial aspect I mentioned would not be an issue.

    Thoughts? Concerns? I’ve never been on a sugardate so I’m just trying to learn how to do this as safely as possible without missing out on the fun. I’d love some advice from all you fine sugarbabes or sugarpops that have gone through this first-time anxiety before. xo

  505. 2Chic – I know some SB’s and SD’s on here would think I am crazy…however – since MOST of my pots are a distance from me and it does take a lot to travel somewhere to have it be a complete waste of time – I always offer to go on cam (always nice if this is reciprocated as you can see reactions very easily and read body language when you are chatting), more times than not even (some of) the *nice ones* ask you to do something (*usually* to take your top off) at which point I just block. And am thankful that I didn’t waste more time and effort on them. Clearly shows where their head is at. Also, even just chatting for a bit you can tell one’s mind set. The first moment I hear anything about ‘pay you’, ‘paying for you’, etc – unless the pot has truly struck me and perhaps he is just really honestly ‘clueless’, I also immediately block – to me it is a huge red flag – he will never be satisfied in ‘paying’ FOR me, therefore not mutually beneficial. If SD feels as if he has to ‘pay for me’ and not that he have a genuine fondness/feelings for me, they are not the SD I want. I am looking for a GENTLEMAN, a man who has more respect for me than his desire for a cheap two minute thrill. Again, glad to find out and not waste my time. It IS all a matter of perspective – and that perspective is very important where ones desires are concerned. As I told ESB – I make mistakes – we all do…learn and move on…don’t dwell on it – some things don’t work out – when you least expect it – it will :) It IS hard when there is chemistry and compatibility and for whatever reason it doesn’t work out…think we have all been there…:(

    Ok done blabbing…I am just making up for my time away 😛

  506. LASB says:

    Thank you everyone for the advice! You’ve given me a lot to think about.

    I guess my thinking was similar to Lisa’s, but I wasn’t ready to admit it. hahaha. On the phone he is really cool and looks smoking hot in his pics. My thought was that if I really needed to stay in his extra room, I’d high tail it out of there anyhow. Geez, I sound so slutty. But I also had the thought that if he doesn’t want to spring for a room for one night, he must be a cheapskate. Though in all fairness, I haven’t asked him for the hotel room. On the other hand, he hasn’t offered one either.

    ESB – if you don’t mind me asking, what were the red flags that you ignored?

  507. sugarbabywithdilemma says:

    hey everyone.
    I have a question for you all… let me know what you think. So.. I know a girl on this site and she has about 5 sd’s and they all think they are her only SD. So this man emails both of us for a date, she ends up going on a date with him and he emails me back to me saying he has found a girl, I know for sure that it is her, (confirmed by her), she is not a sweet girl like she makes out to be and she lies to these poor men. Am I out of line to tell this guy. I think im a bit out of place but I feel like he needs to know. And for all of you that think I am jealous that he met her before me, its because I was busy the night he suggested, and I have a SD now, so jealousy is not a factor. Any suggestions what to say if you do think I should let him know.

    thanks everyone!

  508. Midwest SB says:

    2Chic – I would only say to learn from these experiences. It might help to take a few extra e-mails to ask some good questions to feel them out better. Screen, screen, screen. The SDs here have admitted to using the numbers game, so this means lots of guys are contacting you, but only a few are the caliber of our blog gentlemen.

  509. ESB says:

    Midwest: Lesson learned. I have met other men from other sights, no sugar, just dating, NONE of them treated me as poorly as this guy did. Example: I drove to RI to meet a man, he was the sweetest person ever. I stayed in his son’s room the first night, the second we fell alseep on the couch, just stayed there all night. He never even tried to “sex me”. I could have fallen in love with him, but the following week, his X came back into his life… sigh… Just don’t get why some guys have to be such jerks.

    Anyway, I never felt threatened or not safe, besides the 20 minutes waiting for him to arrive!!

  510. Midwest SB says:

    Taylor – You received great advice with the most important part being relax and enjoy the experience. Get rid of the fake profile, take a deep breath and trust that if he doesn’t work out, someone will. I certainly agree with keeping options open, go on dates with other SDs and HAVE FUN!! He’s not your SD until BOTH of you decide to be exclusive, in an arrangement or otherwise.

    I have to seriously ask – what is the point of having fake profile(s)? If you feel you have to spy on someone, why would you carry it any further? Trust your instincts and move on to the next thrilling experience!

    NYC SB – I always love your advice so bear with me. I’m not sure I understand why it’s really necessary to create a hidden second profile to keep her search going? If he is logging in for whatever reason, why can’t she? IMHO they should be honest and up front about the reasons they are on SA and their interest in one another. He’s a smart businessman and understands until the bill is paid, it’s not a deal.

    NYCBella – Welcome!

    ESB – Sorry he was such a player. NEXT!! I am a firm believer a real SD will come to you or do whatever he needs to make sure you feel safe about meeting him. Also, never travel without a back up plan – funds for your own hotel and transportation back, let a fellow sb/sd in the area know you are coming and may need some back up, etc.

    LASB – I agree with the rest…a guest room is not the proper way to treat a lady who is coming to visit. The second visit may be a different story :-)

    Hot older men – Michael Douglas, Sean Connery, Harrison Ford, Anderson Cooper…YES!

    SDN – That was super sweet…and yes, I am a very lucky lady!

    Ca Dreamin – so sorry about the job. Hang in there and keep your chin up.

    BostonSB Nikki and SoCaliESB – Welcome! Boston, I believe we’ve met informally :-)

    I skipped the hot pocket and went straight for the Chung’s Egg Rolls! No cooking for me either!

  511. 2Chic says:

    OK,… I am about to explode. I need some input.

    I don’t know what is wrong with me. In the last three months I have met with 5 diff CM. (candy-man)
    #1 Poser
    #2: Naughty, wanted and still wants to sex me. Avoided the “arrangement” conversation. … I did have a blast with him.
    #3: All about trying to sex me. When the “arrangement ” word was mentioned… he groaned.
    #4. No chemistry for me.
    #5. Wanted to get intimate with a get-a-way, became sensitive and did not want to risk hurting me in anyway. I had informed him of these prior experiences.

    My profile in no way what so every suggests “sex me”. I am not showing any skin other than my calves. I have received numerous comments on how classy and sophisticated my pictures are. When I met with POT# 1-4, ( please know I say this will all modesty) they stared, then exclaimed how beautiful I am, the pictures can’t compare. ur eyes, lips..blah,blah, blahs. Next they’re holding my hand (#1,3,5 kissed them) . Each one said that I was turning them on by just sitting across from them. WTF! I am just sitting there. 1,,3, & 5 all insisted on a kiss. I will admit POT#2 was my guilty pleasure …. (shy smile). But what I am getting at is that these men (except 1 & 5) are giants within their field. Why in the world would they be on a site about “arrangements” but then turn into sex craved animals upon our meetings. My conversation is polite, and nothing at all about sex. I dress like a diamond: class, style and elegance. Nothing about me speaks “sex me” yet that is all I get.

    I am getting frustrated about the same outcomes, No arrangement because I will not allow intense intimacy to take place until an agreed upon arrangement. What am I doing wrong here?

  512. texassugah says:

    IRLSD: I completely understand having a SB who would see you and then run home and log on. That’s TACKY! I mean really… shameful.

    I haven’t met my pot SD and he’s.. well he’s acting weird. I don’t know if we’ll ever meet.

    VASB: Good for you on meeting someone that clicks. I’m hoping for the same thing. And he’s cute.. go girl!!!!

    I’ve been looking at older men but I’m wondering if I should look at younger guys as well. Everyone’s looking for “drop dead”looks.. I’m cute but.. gee whiz..
    When you see the guy you think.. really? Ooook

    Anyway.. I’m off to email!

  513. ESB says:

    Awww.. sorry to hear about your dog, Cali. Hope she gets better fast!

  514. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Cali – Good luck with your doggie!

  515. Cali SB says:

    Goodness, I swear my poor dog, as soon as we get one thing under control it’s another. Hoping she has just a cold/sinus infection right now and not doggie H1N1. Heading to take her to the vet to get checked out, have a good evening all!

  516. ESB says:

    Thanks to everyone who came to my defense! I feel so loved here!! Nice to know there are some “real” SDs that would never treat a lady so shamefully. :)

    Gail and VA SB: I am an hour from DC, count me in whenever for a meet for drinks! Driving 2 hours a day is part of my job, wouldn’t phase me a bit!!

    IRLSD: If a man treated me with the respect and kindness of opening my door, taking care of my luggage, etc. I would do everything in my power to show him how much I appreciate his efforts. I do not like to be out done in any way. The more someone spoils me, the more I want to return the favor. Just me…

    LASB: What would I do differently? I’d have a friend with money (I do have a few) standing by to bale me out. I could have called my “sista” and I know she would have wired me $$ to fly back out of there ASAP. I will also pay closer attention to the “red flags”, maybe delay the meet until they went away, or canceled when found to be real.

    SoCalIESB: Welcome!! You are in the right place for answers!

    CA Dream: So sorry about the job…I’m right there with you. I GOTTA find something soon. Staples Copy guy knows me by name I’ve been making so many copies of my resume there!! (embarrasing) I think HE thinks I keep coming back for him! NOT!!

    OK, I’ll continue to catch up while you all read this much… jeez, people slow down already!! 😉

  517. Cali SB says:

    DC SB — I haven’t had the cheeseburger ones in forever, but they’re the only ones I would eat. They actually taste like cheeseburgers and they’re sooo yummy (and lean!)! Now I’m craving some! haha

  518. DC SB says:

    Cali SB – I haven’t. But I definitely think you’ve inspired me to go raid more Hot Pocket/Lean Pocket freezers in the grocery store. Haha 😀

    VA SB – I’m the same way (as for dating outside my race) :) I found that a lot of guys here in DC are open to interracial dating, as are the girls.. It’s a wonderful surprise.
    I’m glad things worked out so well for you and you two hit it off. I understand why he’d like to be exclusive considering he would like more of an LTR. If ever I *did* get into a relationship, a sugar one would be the only relationship I’d probably go for :) So I say go for it and have fun!

  519. cleo says:

    yeah but anyone i’ve known for any length of time online has generally proven to be nearly exactly who i expect

  520. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Yes I knew him “online” but you hear those stories about online meetings.

  521. cleo says:

    lisa correct me if i’m wrong but you knew your sd for close to a year online, it’s hardly the same with a guy she just met is it?

  522. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    What about staying on the “extra” side of the bed?

  523. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    oops sorry, I see this applies to the “extra room” lol

  524. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Yes never spend the night with a SD when you first meet him, especially after you’ve let him pick you up at the airport, gotten into his car, etc.
    You never know what will happen in the middle of the night. :)

    oops I did that

  525. TXSB says:

    I agree with Gemini. I strongly recommend that you do not stay overnight with a “SD” in his “extra room” the first time you meet him. In the middle of the night you’re completely defenseless against a man in his house (let’s not mention you’re in a different city/state). No way to guarantee that you won’t get raped and/or murdered in the middle of the night. Besides, If a “SD” isn’t willing to pay for a hotel room for 1 or 2 nights for a SB, then how much “spoiling” is he going to do during the arrangement anyway?

  526. VA SB says:

    DC – we met here on SA about three weeks ago and had been talking for a while by phone and email. We met in person last Sunday and really hit it off. We’re spending the day/night tomorrow as well. He’s really sweet and respectful (and loves my curves). I like how he makes me feel and vice versa. So far things are going well, but I know that things are fickle in the sugar world, so I will enjoy it until the time comes to end things…..

    Since I am only attracted to men outside my race (specifically blond, green eyes, blue eyes, brown hair, etc.), I thought it would take much, much longer…I’m very happy that he and I connected.

    Oh yes, he definitely “does not” want an open relationship. He wants to me my only SD and I’m fine with that. With my schedule demands, I couldn’t handle more than that. He’s not married, but also not looking for a long-term relationship, so it works perfectly. As long as things are good between us, then I can definitely give him the attention he needs.


  527. Cali SB says:

    DC SB — Have you ever had cheeseburger Lean Pockets? They’re amazing!!

  528. Cali SB says:

    My apologies for using a mean word (even though I censored myself) as it’s not very lady like. :)

  529. Cali SB says:

    james — I just need this ticket to “disappear”. I’m going to fight it and if CA wasn’t in such a deficit I’m sure I would win because it truly was complete BS and the cops were complete a**bags to me and were even talking about inappropriate things during the stop. (not like sexual, but personal stuff like about relationships and dogs) The one cop was training the other one and both were trying to be tough guys. The trainee is the one that gave me the ticket and didn’t even tell me what it was for before asking me to sign it and when I said that I wasn’t going to sign it until I knew what it was for he said I was refusing, asked me to step out of the car, and basically was going to arrest me until the other cop stepped in. This happened about a month and a half ago, but I have to do something about the ticket by next week. I just really need to get this to go away because I drive for a living, if I can’t do autoshows anymore I pretty much lose 75% of my income. lol So anyway, my point of that long rambling was I don’t think NYGent would be able to help me out here unless he can pull strings on this side of the country. 😉

  530. DC SB says:

    I must say I was too lazy to cook tonight, or even do carry out – but this pizza hot pocket I’m eating is INCREDIBLE.
    I recommend everyone eat one tonight.

  531. 2Chic says:

    Hi AM,!

    Finally someone speaks back. I was beginning to wonder if my posts were even visible.

  532. DC SB says:

    VA SB – when did you meet your SD by the way? Have you two talked about you possibly having an open relationship or no? Is he married? Single?

  533. Anna Molly says:

    Hi 2Chic!

    NYGent is the blog lawyer….I’m sure he could give you some advice :)

  534. DC SB says:

    VA SB: Yea it definitely wasn’t an intentional thing. Although like I said, I do like to date more than one guy anyway. Keeps me on my toes :)

    James: I probably wouldn’t invite any. Even if I did, none of them would come. One difficult thing about being in DC is that my SDs work in fields where they cannot be openly sugar dating. Their careers would be over in a heartbeat. :( Think Elliot Spitzer. John Edwards etc. (although we could argue they weren’t “sugar dating” per se…).

  535. 2Chic says:

    Dropping in to “hi” all.

  536. james.m says:

    Cali – isn’t NY Gent the attorney of record for everyone n the blog?

  537. james.m says:

    CA D you have a response

  538. Anna Molly says:

    James ~ LOL…I think you are absolutely 110% correct :)

  539. Cali SB says:

    Any powerful L.A. SD’s on the blog? I have a total BS traffic ticket that would love to be fixed. 😉

  540. james.m says:

    Hi Anna! My guess is that AA plays down her charming personality, because she is dumure, and NM plays down her personality, to lure the fly into the spiderweb.

  541. CA Dreamin SB says:

    James – thanks – you have mail

  542. Anna Molly says:


  543. Anna Molly says:

    Hi James ~ I’m glad to hear everyone had such a wonerful time :)

  544. james.m says:

    DC I was just wondering: if there’s a VA/DC meet, which one of your SDs are you going to invite to attend with you? Or could you bring them all?

    CA D: sorry about the job. But, AM is right, it would have gotten in the way of grabbing the better one that’s coming.

    PG – for the record, it went to 40 right after you and Beach left. I suspect you broght that unseasonable FL weather with you just for us.

  545. Anna Molly says:

    Do you play-up or play-down certain aspects of your personality to enhance the sugar? If so, how?
    No, I don’t think I do that, but let me ask Naughty Molly and Alluring Anna and see what they think :)

  546. VA SB says:

    DC SB – true, I’m very lucky and very happy that I found my SD.

    I was just wondering how you did it…..Interesting approach. Good for you – it sounds like you’re definitely doing the right things to keep them happy…

  547. photogirl says:

    Hello everyone!

    Midwest – I have nothing to add to your Chicago Meet details… You described it all so well…

    *batting my eyelashes* :) that is funny!

    It was so great to meet everyone but I am glad to be home to some warm weather.

  548. Gemini29 says:

    Re: Escape Route

    I figure any escape route I have at hand is better than being stuck with a problematic pot SD. If it gets to the point where I feel even the slightest bit in danger, you better believe your poototie that I’m changing hotels/flagging a taxi/taking the next flight home, even if it is at some cost to me….my safety versus $ is more important anytime.

    Re: Staying in his “extra” bedroom
    No way no how until there is trust established AND we are in an arrangement. The men who offer their “extra” bedroom up to a pot SB are not real SDs in my estimation. What, can’t they afford a hotel room for her for one or two nights??? Plus, its not very safe for the SB…you’re in his house, under his “protection”, which considering he’s essentially a stranger…isn’t worth very much.

    Anyway my two bits of wisdom, now I’m off to work!

  549. SoCalIESB says:

    SDN: lol thanks, I feel welcome already. :)

  550. Anna Molly says:

    Hi HL!

    I just sent you an email :)

  551. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    SoCalIESB: If you are atypical you will fit in with us better :)
    Welcome to the blog!

  552. SoCalIESB says:

    Thanks for the welcome :) I’m pretty sure I’m not your typical SB, though I don’t know if there are actually any stats on that anyhow. lol

  553. Anna Molly says:

    Hi SoCalIESB! There are wonderful people here who will be more than happy to help you out if you have any questions or if you just need to vent a little. Welcome to the wonderful world of sugar! :)

  554. Happy Lurker says:

    Hi Anna,
    It’s me around the corner.

  555. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Hi SoCal! Welcome!

  556. SoCalIESB says:

    Hi I’m new around here, brand new to all that is Sugardaddy. I’m in a bit of a situation and trying to make my life better before it all implodes. I’m not even sure where to start around here, but you all seem like a nice bunch so I thought I would say hi.

  557. Anna Molly says:

    I know so :)

  558. CA Dreamin SB says:

    I sure hope so AM!!! :)

  559. Anna Molly says:

    I’m sorry CA Dreamin :(

    I guess it just wasn’t meant to be, which leads me to believe that there is something better around the corner :)

  560. CA Dreamin SB says:

    AM – Hi, I’m here :) Just found out I didn’t get a job I applied for :( And I really thought I had this one – very sad right now

  561. Anna Molly *397377* says:

    Is anybody here?

  562. Hi everybody! I missed a lot today! What’s goin’ on? :)

  563. DC SB says:

    LASB – That sounds amazing! My situation is *almost* that.. and I do think it’s the best situation as it truly is having your cake and eating it too :) Plus everyone is happy, open & honest.
    It’s a little hard to find as men, by nature, don’t like to share. But if you can find 2 SDs who are open to it, it’s double the sugar, double the fun!

  564. BostonSB nikki says:

    Hey! I logged on today and I found my own comment as the highlighted item LOL. I wasn’t expecting that! Thank you for the warm welcome! I’ll admit I’ve been observing and a little hestitant to jump into a few of the inquiries I’ve received. I find myself asking ‘is this real?’. I do believe it is! It’s been nice talking to two pot SD so far.

    To answer the questions::
    I just try to be myself. I don’t feel like I should have to pretend parts of my personality don’t exist nor do I want to have to create false aspects about myself. I’d rather not have to force the chemistry, obviously.

    Can’t really answer the second question yet

    My 2010 Sugar introduction? Looking for someone to sweeten my day, whether here or there!

  565. LASB says:

    DC SB – That is so spicy! I love that you can just be who you are and own it! I mentioned on a previous blog and I’ll say it again, that I’ve fantasized about having two SDs who are friends and want to sugar date me simultaneously. Your situation sounds ideal, since everyone is aware and in agreement of the situation.

  566. DC SB says:

    VA SB: I agree! At this rate we should definitely plan a mini meet up here in the nation’s capitol! :) Hey, at least you got an SD.. from what I’ve been reading on the blogs, some girls have not been so lucky. But then again, we seem to have some good pots out here which *ahem* is further reason there should be a DC East Coast meet up!
    Anyway, more than 1.. well, I’m not really sure. I was emailing with a few SDs, meet with them, and liked all of them. I was expecting to whittle them down to just 1, but I enjoy each of them individually. I told them, and they were all OK with it..
    Surprisingly, they were comforted by it. Knowing that I’m well taken care of and that if my other SDs are content then I must be doing something right. I do take very good care of my SDs and am very attentitive and do small gestures like make their favorite drink for them if they come over etc.
    They also seem to enjoy it ego-wise. One told me he likes knowing someone else is trying to vie for my affection and he wants to be a better SD than the OTHER SD. All playful jest though :)
    I’m sure it’s not conventional in any sense.. But before leading a sugar-filled life I was never the type of girl for a relationship. I’ve always stayed single and dated more than one man (openly).

  567. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    LASB: I have two guest rooms in my house but I would never suggest you stay there for a first meet! Until we both agreed or had been intimate I would get you a hotel room. Suggesting you stay at his house says he has intentions for this meeting or he hasn’t put the time into thinking about what would make you comfortable.

    You do have a good point about canceling the reservations. If that is a concern then you limit your visits to cities that have cheap return flights or get him to send you the plane fair.

  568. Gail says:

    Also, make the meet in the summer and I am there too !!!! oooh…yahooooey….I just got my VS package….bye everyone….gotta try it all on : )

  569. CA Dreamin SB says:

    LASB – I would be wary of any SD who wanted me to travel to him but wouldn’t get me a hotel room for the first meet…maybe it’s just me, I figure I’m safer in a hotel room.

  570. VA SB says:

    Hi DC SB – I’m near Quantico, VA – about 20 miles south of DC….we should plan a DC/VA meet….

    Come on everyone! You should come to our neck of the woods.

    Also, DC SB – what’s your secret…I just got my first, would love to have two, but alas, I have not been that lucky.


  571. LASB says:

    SDN – You are a total gentleman, so I wouldn’t expect anything less than you. But many other SDs don’t offer stuff like that. The pot in SF said I could stay in his guest bedroom. Is this a bad sign that he didn’t offer me a hotel room? Like I said, I’m not that worried about it since my secret hideaway is there, but I like to read between the lines and watch for red flags so that I’m not blindsided or turned into an unsuspecting victim.

    Also, in terms of the plane reservations, since you (meaning the SD) are making them you have the power to cancel them too. I mean, it doesn’t necessarily ensure safety for the SB, though it IS an in-good-faith gesture that I’m sure helps put the SB at ease.

  572. DC SB says:

    Oh & I wanted to second the East Coast meet up!

    Taylor: Have you ever considered maybe your SD reads the blogs? Just out of curiosity.. you have put all the info out there for him to stumble upon. I would recommend what a few others were stating as well – be up front. There is always a better fish in the sea if he doesn’t work out.. And if he’s on SA multiple times a day, then.. chances are he is looking for *something*
    For me, once I settled on the SDs I liked, I took my profile off because I am happy and content – I don’t even need to keep my profile up for incoming messages because it’d be too much of a distraction, and I want to just focus on the SDs I have.

  573. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    LASB: If you were visiting me in my state or even a third party location like Vegas or NYC I would offer to make your plane and hotel reservations, prepay them and give you the confirmation numbers. You could then call and confirm and I wouldn’t even know you double checked. You then know you have a hotel room and if need be you can call the airlines and take an earlier flight home if I turn out to be a troll – this might cost you $50 or so but still a cheap escape.

  574. DC SB says:

    Hi everyone. I finally got an SD (or 2) so I officially abolished my profile and can finally join on on the blog action! :)

    So here’s my question.. It seems like only IRLSD does the sugar player thing. But he’s an SD so that seems more understandable, but from a SB perspective am I the only SB with more than 1 SD?
    They all know I have other long(er) term SDs that are not just 1 time flings.

    VA SB where in VA are you? I’m glad there is another SB in the DMV area aroudn :)

    NYC SB I love your blog, I too hope you update soon! I live vicariously through you since I used to live in NYC and wish to pieces I could be back up there again.

  575. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Chicago Sugar Meet

    Only a fool would try to follow Midwest’s description of the Chicago meet, here are my additions….

    I enjoyed meeting and spending time with everyone at the meet. I now consider JSO and james.m friends and I am privileged to know them. The SBs are stunning, beautiful women that were engaging, funny, and intelligent…every man in the restaurant noticed us and wanted to know how the three of us had a table of such women!

    I have never spent five hours at dinner that ended so quickly. That night will be one of my best memories. I highly recommend everyone to attend at least one social gathering. If you don’t you have missed out on one of the best parts of the blog experience. I said on an earlier blog that I now think of many of you as friends and people I can turn to for advice, constructive criticism, and to make me smile when I need it. The personal aspect of meeting over a meal and spending time together just intensifies those feelings.

    Midwest: you are a very lucky woman!

    james.m: I am jealous.

    To the SBs: I am glad JSO doesn’t live in my state, I couldn’t take the competition – if you like generous, kind Texas men he is the real deal.

    To the SDs: If you can find the profile of any the single SBs from this event you have found gold.

  576. texassugah says:


    Is there a way I can send you a private email? I’d like to ask you a couple of questions without “putting my business in the street” LOL


  577. Gail says:

    Yes…would love to do that VA SB….heck…we will have dinner : ) The chances of me coming there are great.I have been there every summer for the last three years. I have friends and family there too.

  578. Gail says:

    Cleo…I don’t think that you necessarily have to be in an arrangement to be a sugar….recently…I have been getting sugar packets : ) and luckily they really had sugar in them not salt. I guess it would be sugar that dissolves real quick : ) By the way…I would love to get a little botox help for my smiley eye lines. My lips I am kind of afraid it would hurt more.

  579. VA SB says:

    Hi Gail –

    I live in Northern Virginia, about 20 miles south of DC….next time you come to town, we should go have drinks….

  580. Gail says:

    I am definately not in my 20’s….nor 30’s…but having the time of my life sugar dating. You will not have any problems finding a sugar daddy in our age group. Just have fun….I am : ) Last year my daughter remarked to one of her friends…”What are we doing wrong? My mom goes on incredible dates, and travels more places than I do. ” The good thing is that we do have the necessary life’s experiences, survival skills and judgement to know good from evil….lol….

    Just like NYCSB …my eggs are not in one basket : )

  581. cleo says:

    okay now to the questions…
    Do you play-up or play-down certain aspects of your personality to enhance the sugar? If so, how?

    i do the same thing i do at work. tell the funny stories and show the happy me. maudlin girl has no place on a date, sugar or otherwise.

    What can help a sugar daddy arrangement stay fresh and exciting? Any tips?

    no idea, don’t get past the first date.

    Care to give your 2010 sugar introduction? What kind of sugar are you, now?

    i don’t know that you can know what kind of sugar you are if you aren’t in an arrangement? can you?

  582. NYC SB says:

    OC – equal opeentunity female 😉

  583. texassugah says:

    MoonPatrol – Sorry to hear that you got blasted by a POT SB. You know that might be true. I’ve always like men that were at least 15 years my senior.

    It’s kinda how I fell into this. I figure I’m going to date someone in that age range anyway…

    Sugarpacket?? That’s actually funny. I hope I don’t have to open too many but I wonder if I’m too old for this. Most guys want a woman in her twenties.. I’m not.

    SBs – Do most of you contact the guys or…

  584. Gail says:

    VA SB
    I too was scared going on my first SD/SB meet. Imagine meeting six SBs from all over the world for the first meet in sin city. Everyone was unique and beautiful. We had one of the best SDs and the best time ever!!! You will have lots of fun. Where do you live in Virginia? I was just in Richmond,Virginia Beach, Washington DC, & Maryland in September : ) I had a wonderful time there…and the weather was perfect. I am headed to Georgia the beginning of February. And I believe that I will be in Virginia sometime during my visit…just don’t know where yet: )

    Lol…@ your comment about the odds not stacked in their favor : ) I heard that right!!!

  585. cleo says:

    taylor you guys could skype with a webcam and mic… it’s a lot more like sitting in a room with someone than being on the phone is.
    never get botox for laugh lines. laugh lines are the sexiest thing ever. that said, i am seriously considering getting my upper lip done… i smoked for 12 years and i just want to give the rest of my face time to catch up.


    (funny thing, i might fill my lip but i leave my grey alone)

  586. NYGent says:

    TXSB: that’s tricky. A guy who’s made clear he’s not into a formal “arrangement” with allowance, but who says he is willing and able to be generous, will want to be so on his own terms, generally on a “surprise.” ad hoc, unsolicited basis. unless “hinted” at extremely subtly and delicately the SB runs the risk that he will view it as a subterraneon effort to formalize what he doesn’t want to be formal. Some SBs can pull it off but it’s tough. To some extent you may just have to go with the flows and see whether his spontaneous generosity is sufficient, if it is, then continue, if not, then you have to decide whether to request something more formal that risks turning him off.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      TXSB: I have dated several “Men of Means” as I like to call them. Wealthy and educated who have all the toys. They all were generous. Most of them never offered to assist with $, they just did it. I never felt the need to ask for anything. Over the years we were together they just seems to want to take care of me and make my life easier. Actually I prefer this type of dating better. I think that is why I went back to it. I have found you can take a single non married SD and turn the tides to a modified sugar or girlfriend relationship far easier than taking a IRLSD type and turning it into a full blown sugar relationship. The latter tends to work best when they decide to assit without the expectation of doing so residing with the girl.

      As to the older or younger man question… I am an equal oppertunity female 😉

  587. VA SB says:

    I agree – I think older men are better. You know, like fine wine…. For the most part (yes, a generalization) they know exactly how to make a woman feel like a princess.

    That’s not to say that younger men don’t know how to do this….but the odds are not stacked in their favor.

  588. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Cleo – I’m with you – I’ll all about hot older men!

  589. cleo says:

    ohhh hot older men

    richard branson… oh man that guy is so right up my alley… yummy.

  590. TXSB says:

    Hi Everyone!

    I 2nd Cleo on offering to happy take any gifts you feel the need to give away…. 😉

    I know some SBs have mentioned on the blog about meeting SDs in real life. So if you meet a man who’s single, very wealthy (ie. AMX black, private jet etc), and you know he’s very generous (has offered to help out 1-2x before with “stuff”…….while “dating” him, how exactly do you as the woman hint at being “spoiled” without making him think you’re a gold digger? (I don’t think I worded this question very well but hopefully you guys get what I’m trying to ask).

  591. Gail says:

    I have been there a couple of times, but would love some mud cleansing…lol….Just something about a tub of mud that brings out the little girl in me. I do love the wineries and jazz concerts during May….it will be a great time to develop my taste for merlot : ) Whatever day it is count me in : ) It’s less than two hours away for me. Plus NC Gent…its time that we meet : ) We are dinasours on this blog…lol…. NYGent…let the planning begin….the sooner the better!!!

    NYGent…you make grown men cry…so have I……I will save my
    story(s) for the NorCal meet.

    NYC SB….Wonderful key message “never wait for SD to save you…”
    A truly important message for all new SBs.
    By the way…waiting for you to post a new experience on your blog : )

  592. VA SB says:

    Do you play-up or play-down certain aspects of your personality to enhance the sugar? If so, how? I admit that I use “other” aspects of my personality that I don’t use IRL. I’m not as “take charge” as I usually am every day, but I do let my wants/desires known. I’m sure some SDs want someone who can talk politics, current affairs, investments, etc., but I don’t think many of them care much about that. So, while I do include some of that in my conversations, I try to keep things light. It’s more important to have fun and so whatever the situation calls for, then that’s what I’ll do. Interestingly enough, I have the uncanny ability to change my personality / demeanor to any situation. It’s quite beneficial – It’s been remarked that I’m like a chameleon….

    What can help a sugar daddy arrangement stay fresh and exciting? Any tips? Well, I’m not really sure….But I would think that changing the location might help. So, if you normally meet in DC (for me that is), change the weekend/evening meeting to Delaware or Philadelphia. Also, if you usually go out to a nice dinner, go to a picnic (kind of corny, I know). But I think just switching it around might be a good idea.

    Care to give your 2010 sugar introduction? What kind of sugar are you, now? I haven’t been a sugar long, but I’m the NSA sugar in the true sense of the word. So, I don’t cling, I don’t beg, I have fun when we’re together and when it’s over, it’s over….I think taking this too seriously can do more harm than good. Sure I joke about SDs not being interested in me because I’m a size 12 and have dark skin, but I don’t take this too seriously – I mean, life will go on regardless of whether I have an SD or not. Preferably an SD would be great, but I still have to work, pay my bills, live my life…..

    By the way NY Gent, if you sent me an unsolicited gift just because you’re so darn nice….I would write back and say thank you!! 😉

    So, when will be the next “Meet” on the East Coast….I would venture out and attend….would be kind of scary (at least for me), but I would still show up…..


  593. cleo says:

    NYGent: i too will happily take gifts you feel the need to spread upon the waters… :)
    IRLSD said “I am a pretty complex person with many many facets. I can blend in with a professional crowd, talk like a technical guru for days on end, get drowned in philosophy or politics, or blend in with a stoic religious crowd. I can put myself in the mind of a religious fundamentalist one moment and that of a secular atheist the next.”

    i would have used different words and examples but wow, me to a T

  594. CA Dreamin SB says:

    NYC SB – You do give great advice!

  595. NC Gent says:

    Hi Gail — I am also heading to NorCal near the end of May. Maybe we can do our California meet then also – I have never been to Napa Valley but I want to go! Let the wine flow!

  596. IRLSD says:

    NYC SB is right, a second account with a hidden profile is good for scouting out new prospects. Never done that before, but I have given it some thought.

  597. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    NYCBella – Welcome!! 😀

  598. NYC SB says:

    NYGent – you made grown men cry? I cannot believe that… of course my judgment is solely based on my interactions with you … you are probably one of the nicest people ever 

    NYCSb#2, LASB – I will try and update my blog soon… currently experiencing a work bender (aka I work till midnight almost every night and haven’t had a day off since the 3rd)

    Taylor – SA is addicting… even though I have an awesome SD I cannot help but still log in and read the messages I get. SDs get tons of mail and it helps boost their ego… they love the attention… whether or not they act upon it is a completely different question. In addition, my first advice to you still holds true… I don’t want to say that I am always right (because I am not) but I believe I have a very good handle on sugar life and seem to pick up on things rather quick. So I say it again… keep your options open. Talk is cheap! Just bc someone says they will do something for you it doesn’t mean that they will. Im sure he is enjoying the company but he is not acting upon his words. I wouldn’t bring it up… insecurities turn SDs off, last thing you want is him labeling you as drama queen. However, I would open up a new profile and keep it hidden. Then contact couple of new pots. SD dating is like your 401k portfolio… diversification is key… never put all your eggs in one basket. The key message here is to never count on an SD to “save” you but rather do all you can to help yourself… if he does come through though it just makes things so much easier for you… if he doesn’t nothing lost as you were working things out on your own anyways…

  599. IRLSD says:

    NC Gent, there is such a fine line between treating someone respectably and them interpreting it as neediness or clinginess. If you treat a girl well but she thinks it is a facade and that you might not really be all that smitten by her, she will put more effort into the relationship. If she interprets the good treatment as your strong desire for her, she may pull back.

  600. Gail says:

    Good Morning Sugars : )

    Taylor…All the SDs have given great advice. I can relate to IRLSD…as a SB I like knowing vs not knowing. I appreciate a SD being upfront and honest rather than guessing or waiting. Who says you cannot have SD friends for now.

    NY Gent…yaaay….a NorCal meet : ) Count me in….lets make it on a weekend…that way others can come. NC Gent…you can plan your ski trip during that week too.

    Hmmmm….so many new SBs this week….Welcome NC Bella,: ) hope all of you join in on the conversations. I just noticed so many make one time appearances with questions and then disappear : (

    Welcome back NEOhio SB : ) I too miss Flo rida’s comments and her support on the blog. But then you too give great advice.

    Yaz…SDs over 40….Yesiree for me : ) I love them for their brains and their gentlemanly ways. I love listening to a man who knows what they are talking about…makes me smile every time : ) My great experiences are all men over 40…they are no longer in training pants….(smile)

    ESB….I know and feel your pain…its funny when you look back how you can see how it really was. Sugar can be sweet…but can hurt when it starts to dissolve all too soon. Keep smiling….there’s more fish in the sea : )

    Lisa…..thinking about you : ) Hope you had a great time with the family.
    Lisa’s SD can you send Lisa to the Norcal meet? It’s about time we meet her. Taxi cabs and airplanes come this way…no bus routes for the princess: )

  601. Taylor says:

    I had so much kindness and consideration shown to me on my first date with my pot SD it was kind of mind-blowing. I didn’t have to think about arranging a thing, he just made sure that everything was constantly designed to my comfort and preferences from the littlest things to the big things. That really went a LONG way in touching my heart. I would never assume it’s because he’s some puppy dog completely smitten-to-pieces with me whom I can then walk all over. Hells no. I think he’s a gentleman who, with manners like that, has a major advantage over other men out there in the dating world both traditional and sugar, and I am even more likely to want to impress him back in as many other ways as possible to keep his interest squarely onto me, and not wandering off to other women whom I know would LOVE to be treated that way!

  602. Gemini29 says:

    ESB – WHAT? He left you hanging at the curb in the middle of the night? And couldn’t even assist you with your baggage? Uh yeah, you have every right to be a little pissed over that. Some men have no concept of how to properly treat a lady…and that guy sounds like one of them. Sorry your experience went so badly, and hope the next one is a true gem of a SD!!!

    And yes true real SDs do exist. The pot SD from my date last week took care of all travel expenses…not just the main ones from point A to point B. Such a relief and a burden off of my mind not to have to worry about it!

  603. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    IRLSD: Trying to deal with an issue in a style that isn’t you just doesn’t make sense, especially in an relationship.

  604. Taylor says:

    You guys are right, I have been 100% me thusfar, and I will continue to do so. If it blows up in my face, it blows up. I strongly believe that this pertains to live interactions. When long distance is involved and one or both parties isn’t a big fan of the technological methods used to communicate (i.e. not a phone person, OR a long email-er, super busy) things are a bit artificial and limited.

    If I keep myself distracted with my actual life so that I don’t have time to pine for him, or for writing overly verbose emails or calling him up randomly, it is just me trying to curb my naturally zealous self, not altering myself, so to speak. I could never act a role in person, I have such a strong personality and I’m not an actress. But holding back when there’s a major distance involved is kind of managable if I try. But then I just miss him and feel lonely. I have a girl friend coming over in a bit and we will have a fabulous evening at my place and then go out dancing, so…. the massive amount of attention that I get at this local everyone-and-their-brother-shows-up-on-thursdays-and-there’s-a-two-hour-wait-to-get-in nightclub will surely cheer me up and remind me that I am normally sitting on the side of having men eating out of my hand (and painfully easy to make requests from) and to hang in there and know that I can find the right arrangement for me even if this guy vanishes from my life. Perhaps someone more local that I can see every week instead of every month. But even as I type that, my heart isn’t in it and I am crushing hard on this one pot SD and I want to be exclusive with him! Isn’t it ironic that you SDs claim to want a girl who is genuinely into you and not faking a thing, and then here I am, offering just that to a guy who I think, at his age (he’s 20 years older), might have to realize isn’t going to happen from every SB on this site…. and he may not jump at this chance for genuine and hot chemistry?! Seems crazy.

  605. NC Gent says:

    IRLSD wrote “I treat women and SBs with a lot of respect and it goes a long way in making them like me, but that having been said it also tends to make some SBs gossly overestimate how badly I want them or how likely I am to stick around if they don’t treat me with equal respect.”

    Glad to hear that I am not the only one that has happened to. Even when I was dating, pre-sugar world, it seemed like the nicer I was to most women, the more likely they were to treat me like crap in the end…. a phenomenom I have never been able to figure out about women.

  606. CA Dreamin SB says:

    ESB – just a suggestion – but – my thought has been: If I were going to go meet a potential outside of my immediate area, I’d want to go somewhere there were another blogger (SB or SD) who I had gotten to know just in case something went badly – I would have someone local to call on. Just a thought…

  607. IRLSD says:

    ESB, reminds of one time when I had SB travel to me and I took care of her luggage, opened all the doors, etc. Next thing I know, I felt like her tour guide or driver–she even started sitting in the back seat of the car where it would be more spacious so I could be her chauffeur. All I could think was that I was not being treated like an SD but a servant.

  608. CA Dreamin SB says:

    IRLSD – I was just about to write the SAME thing. If there weren’t any flights – I’d find my own hotel and back on the first flight out.

  609. ESB says:

    IRLSD: I did, but had no $$ to do so. Thanks, you all have made me feel at least justified in my anger.

  610. IRLSD says:

    If I was left for 20 min at 11:30 PM, I’d give immediate thought to taking the next flight back.

  611. ESB says:

    Reading the answers to my question is kinda two fold. Upsets me that I was treated so badly when there are real SDs on here who “would never” and makes me feel gratefull that there are men out there who would make sure their pot was well taken care of.

    OH, when leaving the hotel, he just got up and walked out, I had to manage my luggage on my own. Am I expecting to much??

    Gotta run, lunch with my BFF… she’s moving this weekend. May not see her again in a long time. :(

    Be back later. Baby Girl has a 5 day weekend, and is spending it with her friends, so I don’t have to entertain her tonight. HUGS!!

  612. IRLSD says:

    ESB, I treat women and SBs with a lot of respect and it goes a long way in making them like me, but that having been said it also tends to make some SBs gossly overestimate how badly I want them or how likely I am to stick around if they don’t treat me with equal respect.

  613. ESB says:

    HHmm… he left me standing at the arriving pick up curb for 20 minutes at 11:30 at night. Just didn’t start out well… went down hill from there. The whole time I’m thinking “good thing I took those self defense classes”.

    NC Gent: You truly are what your name implies, a true gentleman. Thank you for that. My father instilled in me that any man (boy) worth dating will treat me with the utmost respect, at all times. Guess I just have a hard time with men who don’t.

    NEOhio SB: That is exactly what I am doing. Brushing him under the carpet. Yes, I do deserve much better than I have received. The XBF really isn’t an option, but I have to say, when we were together, at least he knew enough to treat me like a lady! It was always all about me, and I was the same to him… to bad he is a lying cheating jerk!! lol

    OK, so I’m moving on. Not dwelling on the bad, moving on to finding someone real and GOOD

  614. IRLSD says:

    SDN, do you think the approach is what makes a relationship fail in such a situation or it just bring the inevitable sooner?

  615. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Taylor: Everyone has given you great advice, some of it contradictory but all of it correct. Different people approach situations…well differently: passive aggressive, direct, wait and see, etc..You need to approach this with your personality and style. Yes, you may lose this guy if you do it your way, but if your personalities and styles don’t mesh then this won’t work in the long run. Don’t let potential gain stop you from being you!

    NEOhio SB: I have noticed the lack of Ohio posters but with us buckeyes you don’t need many to make a great time!

    ESB: If I offer to cover your travel, that doesn’t mean part way. He should even ask if you would like assistance with ravel from your home to the airport.

  616. IRLSD says:

    ESB, the one time I had an SB fly to me, I parked and met her at baggage claim. Another time, an SB joined me on a trip and I picked her up in my car just outside baggage claim.

    Taylor, I think your problem is that you see the relationship as unriskable. You don’t want to do or say anything that might risk things, but in all honesty if he is serious about being your SD, you will need to be up front and honest. If he bails, it wasn’t meant to be. I tend to do this to the extreme—just present people with stark and very realistic choices, and if they bail, I figure it wasn’t worth my time anyways.

  617. NC Gent says:

    Welcome to the blog NYCBella — NY Gent and I arranged the first Sugar Dinner in NYC (well more accurately, I suggested it and he did all the work). We definitely need to do another event this year, but maybe in warmer weather!

  618. ESB says:

    TT: you have mail! (I hope!)

  619. Taylor says:

    I wish I could turn off my feelings for him, and just approach this like a machine.

  620. CA Dreamin SB says:

    IRLSD – So you’re saying if you have NOT provided her with an allowance of any kind, or set up the arrangement, you’d be annoyed if she was still looking for an SD?

  621. NEOhio SB says:

    NYC Bella ~~ Ciao bella and welcome to the blog.

    SDN ~~ All these newbies from NY, Cali and Texas….seems you and I are the only Buckeyes representing here. Any Buckeye lurkers, come out and play……….

    IRLSD ~~ Great words of wisdom to Taylor that everyone can use!!

  622. Gemini29 says:

    ESB – Funny thing is, if I was meeting a pot SD for the first time, I’d rather take a taxi to the hotel. I’d be even more impressed if he sent a car service to pick me up, so I could have someone help me with my luggage, and I wouldn’t have to stand in line for a taxi…that would make me feel as if I were a princess and that he was very interested in my comfort and safety.

  623. NYCBella says:

    Good morning everyone. I just wanted to introduce myself. I’ve been in the land of sugary sweetness for a little over a week and have been reading the blogs. (I feel like I know you all already and it’s really great to realize there is an active community of support out there.) I’ve met a few pot SD’s so far (2 not so potential, 1 who I am completely crushing now…and have another pot to meet this weekend so wish me luck!).

    I’m not sure who posted before about young SB’s not being truly attracted to older SD’s but I have to say that I prefer older (atleast 10yrs) in general because otherwise I feel like there’s not as much that I can learn from a younger man. I’ve always been told I’m an “old soul” so even dating someone 5 yrs older makes me still feel as if I’m the one with more life experience…it’s refreshing to learn that there’s someone who can add to my view on the world and provide the perspective that only an older man can. Oh, and for whomever was mentioning the risk of smile lines….those are completely adorable…I’d be wary of someone with no crinkles around the eyes. It would make me wonder if they’ve been too serious all the time.

    Well, that’s my 2 cents for now…I look forward to getting to “know” all of you better through the blogs and hopefully potential social gatherings (anyone know of another NYC gathering that’s in the foreseeable future?). Thanks again for all you’ve been blogging thus far…it’s been very informative and helpful. Not to mention a bit addicting (I find that I log in to simply check the blog probably more than actually any other part of the site…oops!)


  624. IRLSD says:

    G, I know I don’t need anything cosmetic now, but if I want to be an SD when I’m 70, I’d better plan for it now.

    Taylor, once you find the answer to your question, let me know. I have seen this all the time—SBs promising exclusivity and expressing tons of interest, yet logging on several times a day and even setting up dates with my fake accounts. Maybe the guy wants more than one SB or he is still curious what is out there. Through experience, I have come not to be bothered by it as much, as nothing ever seems to pan out for these SBs with anyone else. But I tell SBs straight up now—if you’re looking, I’ll keep looking and the chances are I’ll be distracted by someone else very quickly and it’ll be over, so it’s your decision.

    Taylor, I was setting up a second date with an SB and she texted me back, “I would have to ask for compensation because my college tuition is due.” I texted her back, “I’ll e-mail you the details of the arrangement.” Nothing wrong with being up-front.

  625. NEOhio SB says:

    NC Gent ~~ You are a true gem, unf. not all POT SDs think like you and the other quality men on this blog.

    ESB ~~ Take it as a lesson learned. Don’t lessen yourself for who you are and what you deserve. Many of us have made the same mistake, so don’t think any less of yourself for getting taken in that respect. As mentioned many times on the blogs, the true SDs will look out for your safety, security and try to make you feel very comfortable in going out to meet. Unf. in this sugar world, many times there is taking risk involved, sometimes we get burnt, other times its the best thing we have done. Brush it under the carpet and move on and find a great quality SD that you deserve. :)

  626. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Taylor: I agree – Breezy and cool – no drama. If he’s only sending one or two short emails a day – you do the same. If there is no mention of the details of the arrangement the next time you see each other – I’d bring it up then. But breezy and cool for now.

  627. NC Gent says:

    ESB — if my potential SB was flying to meet me, I would either meet her at the baggage carousel or wait in the cell area to pick her up quickly when she called. If for some reason I couldn’t meet her (like timing reason, commitment, etc) I would send her money in advance for her to get a taxi to her hotel. For the first meeting, I would do whatever it took to impress her that I was serious about her :) You shouldn’t tolerate any less than that.

  628. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    It isl about learning and growing…thankfully you are safe :) We all make mistakes 😉

  629. ESB says:

    Taz, I tried but it bounced back. NO idea what happened. I tried twice.

    I’m so over what happened now. The anger is gone, I’m seeing where I went wrong, too, so I am swollowing my pride and admitting here and now I messed up and it was partly my fault for what happened. Ladies, be sure to have an arrangement in place before headed off to meet anyone. I see now he never had any intention of an arrangement, he just wanted some fun, didn’t treat me very well because of it, and I should have seen all this up front before I left. Lesson learned, and a mistake I will not be making again. Life goes on, move forward or get stagnant wallowing in self pitty. That is not who I am, so I’m shaking it off.

    Question for the SDs on here: If your Pot SB was flying in to meet you, would you be at/in the airport to meet her? Send a car? Be in the Cell parking so you can get her quickly? or is she on her own to get to her hotel?

  630. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Hello ladies and gentlemen

    Taylor – you have of course been given great advice – good luck :) We are here for you..

  631. NYGent says:

    Taylor: sounds good. good luck!

  632. NC Gent says:

    Taylor — that is the least-risky and best plan. Take things breezey and cool because the sugar world is very fluid!

  633. Taylor says:

    There definitely is a lot of sugar out there. I see it, now, too.

    I just don’t know if I have the courage to bring things to a head. There’s a lot to lose, as even without him & I having just the arrangement I would love to have, he *has* offered to help pull strings to get me interviews in firms I’d love to get my foot in the door with that he is a founding investor in, etc…. he claims to be working on that right now. That’s awesome if it’s true, and I’d love that type of business networking as well as the one-long-weekend (and maybe more) per month that he has asked to begin with me. If I stomp my foot and demand to know where I stand and what the future holds right now, he might decide to bail completely from my life. I think I gotta stay breezey and cool, take anything that comes as bonus, and not expect …..anything, actually. When we are together again in 11-18 days, I will be as charming as ever, we’ll have an amazing time together again, and I’ll quite simply tell him straight out in a positive, happy way that I loved his previous offer of being in an exclusive *arrangement* (to distinguish between that and an LDR) with him where we spend one or two long weekends per month together, plus some longer trips occasionally, and the monthly allowance he has stated on his SA profile suits me just fine for him to help float me through until my business is turning a profit, and that I hope he and I can move forward and take ourselves off the SA market now, and as long as things are working so wonderfully between us.

    Does this seem like the least-risky plan?

  634. NEOhio SB says:

    Taylor ~~ I second what the Gents gave you as advice. Putting all of your eggs in 1 basket upon a first meeting without any arrangement in place in the sugar world is pretty much a ” no no”. Absolutely scale back somewhat with your feelings and remember, this is not an eharmony matchmaking site, but rather a fun filled, nsa, non drama place to have incredible times with each other, depending on whether it is an exclusive arrangement or not, depends on the parties themselves and what they agree to. Not saying, any sugar arrangement could NOT turn into a traditional long term relationship, there are just many variances of what indiv. are seeking. Take a deep breath, approach in honesty and be upfront with him and await his response and take the next step, whatever that may be. Everyone here is always willing to help and share insight and advice…..there are great people on this blog!!

  635. NYGent says:

    Taylor: the advice you’ve gotten is very good. be upfront with him and don’t let this obsession last too long. You’ve had one date and you’re already thinking about how his kids are going to react to you being in his life . . . I would just scale back somewhat and bring it to a head and move on if it doesn’t work out, there is a lot of sugar out there and sounds like you’ll have no real trouble finding it.

  636. NC Gent- says:

    OK last serial post I promise…. Taylor , after having been in the sugar world for a while, I am surprised how often I notice an ostensibly wealthy older man with a 20-something lady in public when I am on the road. I never noticed it before. There is a lot more sugar out there than I think people really know!

  637. NC Gent says:

    Taylor — read your note after I posted. Until you have an agreement and he has followed through on his part, I would recommend to keep your options open and to keep looking for an SD. This may increase his interest in cementing an arrangement with you. Plus, you may meet someone better — just have some fun — I know it is hard to adjust to the quasi-NSA world though! hang in there!

  638. NC Gent says:

    Taylor — sorry about that, but it is part of the sugar world and the quasi-NSA baggage that can go along with it. Tell him exactly what you told us. If he is a mature SD, he should take it in stride and be able to talk to you about it (don’t tell him you made another account to watch him though).

    NY Gent — a few times I have been generous and never received any thanks. I never see those women again.

    MoonPatrol — I tell the pot SB very early that if she isn’t attracted to me, I am not interested — I don’t want someone to fake it. That usually limits me to someone within about 15 years of my age — sometimes 20 but not very often. I typically am attracted to someone in their 30s, so it seems to work out for me. Sorry for your frustration.

  639. Taylor says:

    Yeah, but I’ve already asked him that and he said yes. I feel asking him again is already drama that I don’t want to dish up.

    Sigh. I have to just wait and see when we meet. This waiting game of a couple of weeks is killing me. Would you guys, in my shoes, pursue opening up a line of communication with other SDs to have a fall-back plan in case this all disappears in a puff of smoke? I almost want to, *just* to keep myself from obsessing about the guy I want and to try to help convince myself that he’s not the only man on the planet. Alternatively, there are a couple of guys who want regular dates with me in my world, but I am just so not feeling it. I’m really frantic in pulling my shit together to become an entrepreneur and get into music professionally, right now, that the typical date in my area as I’ve experienced it (guy watching me count out coins to pay for my drink or food and walking away from me to get *himself* a drink and not offering to also get me one -sheesh-) sounds like wasted time for someone who just wants to ride on *my* coat tails (even though I don’t have money to splash out and support a guy, I have a hell of a lot of charisma, charm, strength, and having-my-head-on-straight-edness that a lot of boys like to latch onto and leech off of, giving them a feeling of having a safe space to continue to peter-pan their way into their thirties) and I am done with that. I am hitting a wall in terms of needing to turn my life around NOW and get my act together with my career and passions and even my friends around me get that and are all jumping in to volunteer and help pitch in, in some way, to help me out because they know I am always the first one to do for others and now it’s total poetic justice that I get a helping hand. Men around here who want to have me pay my own way and don’t even bother planning a date in advance (‘so what do you wanna do?’ -awkward silence-) and still try to sleep with me, are SO not what I have time for right now. But a guy who wants to bask in my glow and enjoy my charms and energy AND who is established and able to also pull a few strings of his own, or lend a helping hand in some way, to help push me along from behind the scenes to acheive my goals, even in a small way, is truly appreciated, and *that* guy I am fully prepared to let into my good graces in every way. It’s just where my head is right now.

    Anyone else feeling this way too? That they have generally been the ones doing for others, helping out others, even coming up with fun ways to give to others just randomly, and nowadays sugar dating is largely because you are just *SPENT* and need someone to approach romance/recreation/leisure from the mindset of *them* helping *you* out and boosting *your* life in some tangible way, finally? It just never happens in IRL traditional dating, with me so here I am.

    Another question for everyone else: since joining SA, do you suddenly see married men (that appear to be wealthy), that you see IRL, in a different light? :) Once your mindset opens up to that possibility on SA, do you find yourself considering flirting with a married man that comes across your radar IRL somewhere, because you’re thinking about a possible arrangement with him as being within the sphere of possibility? Do you ever approach these men, pursue things, and actually ever get an arrangement out there IRL? There was a married man last night completely in love with my performance while singing on stage, and obviously the ‘boss’ of a large group of suits, and came over to me afterwards and complimented my voice and danced with me, and it suddenly occurred to me how it could be possible to find arrangements ‘in the field’ if one truly changed the way they see things. I’ve never given married men a second glance before out there IRL but….heck, why not? If you really need an arrangement and find a guy you like who is able to do it and might want to?

  640. NEOhio SB says:

    Thank you AM…after taking a LOA from the blog over the holidays, its nice to be back and share great insight with such wonderful people here. Amazing how many new names are here since I left and came back.
    We all know the ups and downs of the sugar world…and Ive had my share of experience learning. A few POTs had become great friends, a few total flakes, a few even business clients, but finding that great one is well worth the filtering. Patience is key….as well as selectivity on knowing what you need, want and desire in an arrangement. But when you find that incredible SD, as i have, you look back and say, it is all a learning process and hope you come out better as well as enhancing each others lives.

  641. Good morning NEOhio :)

    It’s good to see you back on the blog!
    Great advice to Taylor, I agree with everything you said :)

  642. NEOhio SB says:

    Flo Rida ~~ Please come back. We miss you here and your incredible insight into helping others and sharing your wonderful stories.

    And to share my 2 cents on the Anderson Cooper………Undoubtedly, he is wayyyyy hot!!!

    NYSB ~~ Great blog you have. Very well done !!

  643. NEOhio SB says:

    Good morning AM :) Hope the sunshine is shining your way today.

    Taylor ~~ Sometimes the ups and downs of the sugar world are like a roller coaster. From what i gather in your post, you have not yet solidified any “arrangement” per say, but rather had an incredible first meeting and both have the interest in pursuing more. Communication is essential in this type of relationship and IMHO I would simply ask him if he is truly interested in an arrangement with you or still getting a feel for the waters and what is out there. Be strong, don’t give into any insecurities you may have. Remember, the sugar world is full of fun and NO drama.

  644. Taylor says:

    Can I just express my confusion and overall melancholy?

    This isn’t much fun, but here’s my issue. As you guys may remember from the last blog thread, I have had this amazing first (two-day-long) first meeting with a potential SD and I really like him. We have been in touch with phone or email every day since we parted ways (1 week ago now) and we will see one another again, as is understood, in 11-18 days, depending on the week he is able to travel again which isn’t 100% sure. So this waiting game is killing me, until we can solidify and establish things in clear terms. Our correspondence is largely about my starting up a company, the interesting things I’m doing with a side business in music (putting together an ensemble and getting gigs), etc… and his goings-on as well. Suits me fine. We did have one steamy moment on the phone, so it’s not all totally dry and platonic, but for the most part. I think it’s silly to be all gooey and phone-sex-y when you have a couple of weeks to kill before you can meet, anyway, because it just gets old, whereas genuine discussion doesn’t. When I mention guys getting crushes on me after I get off of stage (I sing) and hitting on me (I make a funny story about a Seinfeld-style ‘close talker’ and me confessing to him that I’m a private assasin to get him to leave me alone) he makes fun comments back about feeling homicidal towards any man getting any type of crush on me. The mutual interest hasn’t waned as far as I understand it….

    but….. :(

    but…. he’s been logging into his SA account multiple times per day. I only get one longer email or a couple of shorter emails per day, and sometimes he writes back to a longer email of mine saying he’ll reply later that night when he has more time, and he never does. But I can see he was on his SA account before he went to sleep and first thing when he woke up. :( What’s up with that? I deleted my account and set up a sham profile just to watch this guy’s actions. So his reason for checking SA can’t possibly be the same as mine.

    I have a look on my face over here like my dog just died. I am too thin skinned for this!!!!!!!! I really, *really* liked him, I was intimate with him, I want to be intimate with him again, and I genuinely miss him. And honestly, I could see things going somewhere with him and things morphing into a traditional relationship (well, hell, we’re in a traditional relationship NOW as he hasn’t begun mentoring support for me as a struggling start-up entrepreneur). I feel like I might be setting myself up for getting used. Then again, I really do trust him. Or I badly want to be able to, as he seems so trustworthy on my radar, when we interact. I’m just insecure and feel vulnerable. From the beginning I was like, come on, why on earth don’t you just find a local supermodel to date, with your charm, wealth, and location? I myself am beautiful, of course, but in his world, with his level of obscene wealth, he could easily find a younger and more beautiful woman to put on his arm. He has been adamant about not wanting some girl so close to his kids’ ages, and finds me absolutely unique, endearing and I draw him to me with my charm, etc. Plus I could go places with him and meet others with him and it would make sense (we went to sister/brother universities, there is a long standing tradition for over a hundred years of girls from my college marrying men from his college), and I would be accepted without any raised eyebrows by his long time friends, etc. My sex appeal can be toned down to elegant levels to be sure, and that’s my normal style anyway. (ok, I occasionally vamp it up for a nightclub, as we all do, right girls?) Even his kids wouldn’t feel too weird about me, and he’s already told them about me, shown them video/audio clips of me singing, etc, (I’ve even been on the phone with him when they are in the room and they seem to know who he is talking to). He can’t be telling his two kids (they are 16 and 20) about every single sugar baby he is talking to, assuming he is keeping up correspondence with many….. :( Which really saddens me. He said he wants only one arrangement and explicitly said he wants to engage in one with me.

    What’s going on here? I feel confident in his interest in me, and I also do genuinely feel confident that whomever is out there in sugarland can’t really compete with me in terms of *this* guy and what I believe this guy values and is all about (and is looking for). I think I am almost custom tailor made for him, as it turns out, and I’d be shocked if he could find a lady half as appealing in all respects, as I am, for him. But…. I have this sinking dread that I’m being horribly naive and he’s shopping around, sleeping around, and being an all-around….. guy. I don’t want to bring drama to our so-new entanglement by asking him outright why he’s so active on SA. He doesn’t owe me anything, I know that. But I am already smitten. And counting the days to seeing him and not interested in seeing anyone else in the interim, and I wish he felt the same way. Or maybe he does but just keeps corresponding back and forth with other SBs for entertainment purposes? Nah, he’s way, way too busy for that.

    (hiding under her blanket, waiting for her sugar love story to find its’ way to a happy ending…)

  645. SBnxtdoor ~ Sorry to hear about that. We’ve all been disappointed, but just keep going and I’m sure you’ll find someone you adore very soon :)

    At least the guy was nice enough to tell you he had found someone else and hopefully you two are still on good terms. You never know what will happen. :)

    I also see how you would feel the need to take a little break and there isn’t anything wrong with that. Take this opportunity to regroup and before you know it the search will be back on and you’ll come back with a clear head and more focus than before. :)

    Good Luck! We are here if you need to talk or vent :)

  646. Cali SB says:

    NYGent — I think that was very sweet and incredibly generous of you to send an ex-SB money, as ungrateful as she may sound. It’s definitely hard to not be appreciated for such a selfless act, but the fact that you know in your heart that you truly made a difference in her life with that act should give you a little ease of heart. :) And even though she didn’t personally come out and tell you thank you, as someone who knows how much a little bit can help in a tough financial time, I’ll tell you thank you on her behalf.. so thank you. :)

    Yaz — I agree! Anderson Cooper is so sexy!

    I’m beginning to seriously think that there aren’t going to be any SD’s at the CA meet. Maybe we should take a consensus from those who want to attend and potentially amend the date??

  647. SBnxtdoor says:

    I had a super third date with a potSD and it seemed to go really well, he even planned a 4th, until he e-mailed me tonight to say that he chose someone else. He was so kind in the way he did it and said that we did have chemstry. What a great guy. I now find myself feeling really disappointed. I already had a crush on him. There are other’s on the back burner, but I do not quite feel like diving back into the pool. Have any of you been through this?

  648. G says:

    I don’t think any SD’s need to worry about their age, and certainly don’t need to worry about any plastic surgery or injections. A big part of the allure of an older, successful man is confidence. A man having (obvious) plastic surgery or botox at a “young” age screams insecurity, which is a turn-off, IMO. For the SD’s that are under 50, I would say to stay away from those types of procedures. If you are healthy and fit, you probably look great! Some younger SB’s may “fake” attraction to an older SD, but I think most men over 35 can pick up on this.

    My SD, who is in his 40’s (and looks 35 at the most!) sometimes asks me what I think about him getting various things done (lipo, lasik, laser) and I tell him he looks great just as he is (and his glasses are very stylish & hot!) I know he just wants to make improvements, which is great, but I like him just as he is :)

    I think the key is to find an SB who likes you just as you are. There are genuine people out there. Sometimes you get lucky and find them. 😉

  649. 2Chic says:

    Back again, anybody on the blog???

  650. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Midwest – we are going to talk more after he gets back – going away for three weeks (which I knew beforehand)…figures lol…as I said earlier though – just a little too close for comfort I think.

    ESB – you never did send me that email? :( Hope you are doing well sweetie. Take a deep breath and know whatever it is you do deserve better than shitty pot or ex bfriend.

    BG – where are you??

  651. steph says:

    hello everyone!! i newbie in this website n blog but so far its look pretty interesting lol

  652. LASB says:

    NYCSB #2 – My thoughts exactly! I love reading nycsb’s blog!

  653. LASB says:

    SPup – It’s been 50-50 with me in success in meeting pots in person based on whether I made first contact, or he did. Honestly, this is going to sound so sad, but once I send my photos, the guy never writes back. Though the ones who meet me have all wanted to take things further. I haven’t been “swept off my feet” yet though, so I’m holding out. Anyhow, I think it’s fine to contact the SDs. If they don’t write back, my guess is that it would be for a different reason. Of course, I’d love to see what the SDs would say about this.

  654. nycsb #2 says:

    NYC SB:

    Time for an update on your blog! I love reading it!

  655. nycsb #2 says:

    i have deleted my profile!

    taking a break from finding an SD. still emailing some pots but if those don’t work out, then time out from SA for awhile at least. some pots seem good so if things work out, will def keep the blog posted!

    good night!

  656. LASB says:

    Yaz – it seems we have the same taste in men. I’d never sleep with those guys, but I’m totally infatuated with them. Everyone seems to like Warren Buffet, but he seems kinda boring to me. Donald and Steve, though, are so interesting, even though they aren’t the nicest guys to be around.

    NYGent, – Your story puts me into pain, but it’s also quite endearing. I like that you give with such an open heart. It’s sweet. Also, in my mind, you are one of the most popular SDs on the blog, so I have to laugh that you got a bit paranoid there. Ever since your champagne choos post, you have the attention of quite a few of the SBs, myself included. :)

    As far as the LA meetup, Thursday was chosen because DB felt that the SDs had a better chance of making it on them Vs the weekend, but then that’s also why it was decided to have it over two nights in case people could only make it on Friday. If you have a strong opinion on the dates, please write into the socal soiree address managed by Dessert Bunny. I’m not posting it here because I forget if it’s a Gmail address or a ymail address. If anyone knows and can post it, please do.

  657. Gemini29 says:

    Nightie-night SDs! 😉

  658. SPup says:

    Hrm, I was excited when I got my first SA message the same day I made a profile (regardless of the contents), and I know these things take time, but I can’t help feeling restless. It does raise a good question.

    SBs – How active are you about your searching and courting new SDs?

    SDs – How important is the thrill of the hunt for you? How much of a positive or a negative is it when an pot SB initiates the contact?

  659. Yaz says:

    Nite NYGent!
    Nite IRLSD!

    Gemini ~ Gosh the man IS sexy! 😉

  660. Yaz says:

    IRLSD~ Good points….

    NYGent ~ Anderson Cooper is the only reason why I would ever ever ever want to go intern at CNN lmao 😉

  661. Yaz says:

    Lol, no need to say it I can telll he is a very good l……. LMAO

    I mean the guy is so unattractive to me lol BUT the way he handles his business ventures and everything else is a turn on! I would love to work for him as well as Steve Wynn ( If you are a member of SA, Mr Wynn PLEASE contact me!!!! lol ) but I would HATE to share a bed with him haha

  662. IRLSD says:

    OK, good night sugars. I’ll leave it up to the more popular SDs and the apparently wholly unpopular lurkers to keep you entertained till the morning, lol.

  663. Gemini29 says:

    Just have to jump in here really quick on the Anderson Cooper bandwagon of looove…. such a hottie! 😀 😉

    Plenty of sexy older men out there to light the fires of us younger girls.

  664. NYGent says:

    i have represented Donald Trump in a deposition. Now he is an EXTREMELY good [well, i won’t say it]

  665. IRLSD says:

    Yaz, as an SD under age 40, I partly agree with what you say, except that I am pretty much done achieving my goals, as sad as that sometimes is. In fact, I was telling my wife this weekend that we can pretty much retire now and keep living as we do. Strange not to have anything left to achieve in life–actually, it was depressing at first, but part of being an SD is to see others achieve what they want in life as well.

    As for the other things you said:

    1. “try to sleep with as many SBs as they can”: I have been very picky about who I have slept with thus far–only 2/20 or so, and if I was just sleeping around, I could have slept with many many more

    2. “get an inflated ego from seeing so many girls throwing themselves at them just because they have money”: for sure. I never got much attention from women before, but I get a ton now, and not just from SBs or women who know how much I make. I think it’s the overall confidence more than anything. But the contrast in how women treat me now as opposed to ten years ago is striking. Sure it’s a boost to the ego, but it’s also kind of strage to have one person after another like me–it all feels fake after a while.

    3. “are quite careless about using protection when having sex with an SB”: I am scared shitless about STDs or getting someone pregnant. I was thinking today I should just take Valtrex + doxycycline + Vantin every time I sleep with an SB even though I use a condom.

    4. “or are quick to drag a SBs name in the mud once things turn sour or the relationship end”: Hard to do, since I never share friends with an SB, but it is true–their stories (good and bad) end up on the blog or shared with my friends.

  666. Yaz says:

    Not so sexy older men??

    Donald Trump ( ‘Nuff said) LOL

  667. NYGent says:

    Yaz: you certainly do have this thing about Anderson Cooper!

  668. Ladies and Gents I’m off going to go to bed and read my cosmo…nite nite :)

  669. Yaz says:

    Sexy older men????

    Anderson Cooper!!!!!!!!! :-)

    Vladislav Doronin!!!!! 😀 ( That one just makes me soooooooooooo warm inside! lol)

  670. NYGent says:

    i’ve never really been able to tell if people/witnesses are lying by their facial expressions. Some people are extremely nervous, make poor impressions, would flunk a lie detector test, yet are telling the truth. Others are extremely cool, calm, collected, no facial twitches at all — and compulsive liars.

  671. NYGent says:

    now that i think about it, i guess they are injections not surgery. I wrote a play once where the wife got such injections, I’d forgotten.

  672. IRLSD says:

    Botox is a bacterial-derived neurotoxin that paralyzes the facial muscles, so you can’t make wrinkles. It prevents the movement-based lines from appearing (e.g. forehead wrinkles, frown lines in the glabella, and smile lines around the eyes). Sounds bad in theory, but the muscles have no purpose but to make wrinkles–i.e. facial expressions. For a lawyer, sometimes making those lines on the forehead are important to convey emotion or surprise or doubt to others.

  673. Yaz says:

    I, personally, believe that SDs under 40 are not yet mature. ( No offense to the SDs under 40 on the blog)
    To me, a SD under that age is still not done achieving his goals and cannot fully “mentor” a SB who is just getting started in her adult life/ career….Plus many of them still play what I call “high school games” ( try to sleep with as many SBs as they can, get an inflated ego from seeing so many girls throwing themselves at them just because they have money, are quite careless about using protection when having sex with an SB, or are quick to drag a SBs name in the mud once things turn sour or the relationship ends…)

    Again, its just my personal opinion…I could be very wrong but it just comes from my personal experience on SA and IRL…..

  674. Muse says:

    Hi AM! I agree with you. There is something incredibly attractive about men aging naturally.

    Hi Yaz! So well on the SD front, eh? Do tell!

  675. NYGent says:

    I was under the impression that botox involved implanting animal fat underneath the skin somehow, but I really don’t know anything about the procedure or technology.

  676. IRLSD says:

    NYGent, there is no cutting with Botox and Fraxel. I agree, I’d hate to have a surgical facelift, but these non-invasive procedures are quite fine. My wife would kill me if I got anything though.

  677. NYGent says:

    Moon: I don’t think she’s right when she says “all.” If she amended to “most” I would agree.

  678. NYGent says:

    I wouldn’t go the botox, cosmetic surgery route either, the thought of somebody cutting my face, eyelids, whatever is just too much

    on the other hand show me a person who says “I want to grow old naturally” and I’ll show you somebody who isn’t old. . .

  679. MoonPatrol says:

    NY Gent-
    I would love to find the type of SB that is young and genuinely likes an older man. The one I’ve been writing to (who lives in my town) claims that All Young women fake their affection to older men . In my case there is a whopping 24 year difference! What can I say I think a good age for me is within 20 years which for me is the mid to late twenties.

  680. IRLSD says:

    Last week, I was told by an SB 11 years younger than me, when I told her my age, “You are such a baby!” She was actually hoping for someone a bit older.

    Honestly, I had forgotten this SB’s exact age so I just checked her profile and realized that she has not logged on to SA since our last date. Wow! Her stock just rose a bunch :)

  681. IRLSD ~ Don’t worry about getting botox and all of that nonsense. There is something about an older man who allows themselves to age gracefully. It shows the man has confidence, experience and is comfortable in his own skin.

    I would be turned off by a guy who had plastic surgery or botox and stuff like that. IMO, I wouldn’t do it.

    That’s my 2 cents :)

  682. Yaz says:

    Sorry guys, I really dont mean to bring negativity to the blog…… :-(

  683. Yaz says:

    NYGent~ You are so right…..It just really hurts to see it on T.V……Haiti is already one of the poorest nations in the world and that catastrophe is just going to make things worse for them…
    Many people choose to ignore catastrophes like that, forgetting that this can happen ANYWHERE….It truly is frightenning….

  684. Yaz says:

    Hi Anna!

    Im ok. Trying to stay positive although what is happening in Haiti is really breaking my heart :-(

    Otherwise, everything else is great on the SD side 😉

  685. NYGent says:

    Yaz: yes, think of a life in abject poverty coming to an end in the crush of an earthquake. Some people get NO breaks in life. KInd of puts in perspective the problems of those of us which, as Richard Blaine said to Ilsa, don’t amount to “a hill of beans” in this crazy world . . .

  686. Yaz says:

    Muse!!!!!!!!! :-) I missed you!

    I’m just like you! I love older men and I just can’t see myself with a SD 40 y.o or younger…..

  687. Hi Muse 😉

    Hey Yaz!! How are you? :)

    I too have always been attracted to older men with 10-15 year age difference is my ideal. :)

  688. IRLSD says:

    I never thought of myself as the cosmetic type, but being an SD makes me consider Fraxel and Botox so I don’t look too old come 20 years from now. Plus, since I am perpetually smiling, it won’t be long before I have permanent smile lines around my eyes.

  689. NYGent says:

    Moon: There are some younger SBs who you just know are “pretending” to like you as an older man (or not even pretending so well), and there are some who you can tell genuinely prefer older men. The former are probably much more prevalent, but the latter are worth seeking out and worth the search/wait if and when you find them.

  690. IRLSD says:

    MoonPatrol, I know exactly how you feel. I need to feel like the SB really likes me, and the idea of a girl just pretending to like me for money is such a turn-off. I realize that it hasn’t been hard for me so far because I am in my mid 30s and most of these SBs in their early 20s can naturally see me as a BF. But I know that will change at some point. Plus, what helps me is that most SA SBs are mentally prepared to be with a much older man, so when they see me, it’s just easier for them. It has always been a mystery to me why every SB I have met has been interested in me, and I am still not sure if it is because of money, because of my age, because of my personality, or what. But I think over time my expectations will have to change, as it is impossible for SBs in their 20s to be naturally drawn to me when I am in my 70s.

  691. MoonPatrol says:

    NY Gent-
    I have given unsolicited gifts and it was more like I couldn’t bear to see her so down. I don’t want to associate with her because she has too many problems and I’m not interested in her drama or entering her world. But she did thank me and i had to say Don’t cal me I’ll call you.
    Also I haven’t met my SB POT but only wrote and found that out. Well pretend is good huh? what else is there?

  692. Yaz says:

    Please pray for the people in Haiti :-(

  693. Muse says:

    MoonPatrol – I’m usually pretty quiet around here but I had to speak up at that. I *only* date older men. I have from the time I started dating and will always be much more attracted to older men than to men my age. My preferred age gap is 5-15 years, with 10-15 being the best. Younger than that is usually too young, although I have definitely been attracted to men who are even older.

    Also, since I’m talking, hi everyone!

  694. IRLSD says:

    NYGent, with my first IRL SB, I would always tell her that part of me saw her as a daughter who needed me to take care of her (she was only 4 years younger but loved being taken care of and relinquishing control and leaving everything to me). Her answer always was, “Funny, because I don’t think of you at all like a father.” So I do know the paternal feeling—hence the term “sugar daddy”.

    My problem with SA SBs has been things turning platonic. Sometimes I am quite excited about an SB, but a couple of weeks or a month or so later my sexual desire for her is gone even though I like her a lot as a friend. And it has happened to me whether or not I have had sex with the SB. Nothing I can do about it that I know of.

  695. NYGent says:

    Moon: be glad when they at least pretend to like you, you could do worse . . .

  696. MoonPatrol says:

    Looks like I got blown off by a POT SB when i wrote her that I didn’t want a girl that pretended to like me but must really like me or it wouldn’t work, Then I got stoned by her because she said all young 20’s age group women fake liking older men because they just want the money and aren’t really attracted to them. And she went on to say the older men know this and spend money to get there needs met knowing she’s acting. I think women in their early twenties have more to gain from a guy 30 or 40+ because the alternative is a young inexperienced broke and sex-crazed boy!

  697. NYGent says:

    CA: yes, waiting for you to say, “all right, I did it, I murdered the SOB SD and I’d do it again . . .!”

    i’ll bet that sentiment is not so far off of some SB’s thinking about SDs, whether on or off the blog . . .

  698. IRLSD says:

    Funny thing is that I say all the same things I put on the blog that don’t seem very popular here to new SBs in person and they all love it and find it hugely entertaining and want to keep hearing more. I have found my new technique works so well—brutal honesty. Telling people the craziest stuff that no one else would ever say makes them trust me, and laughing about it makes them see me as having an optimistic outlook. Which brings me to the blog questions:

    Do you play-up or play-down certain aspects of your personality to enhance the sugar? If so, how?

    For sure. I am a pretty complex person with many many facets. I can blend in with a professional crowd, talk like a technical guru for days on end, get drowned in philosophy or politics, or blend in with a stoic religious crowd. I can put myself in the mind of a religious fundamentalist one moment and that of a secular atheist the next. My written works span the gamut from scientific articles to research in ethics to political philosophy to medieval history to religious polemics. I can see the humanity in someone and find myself completely unable to judge their actions, yet at the same time see what they do as wrong, sinful, or simply misguided. So I pull out whatever part of me the SB likes and leave the rest for other people. I have friends for politics, friends for history, friends for religion, friends for discussing the intricacies of human nature and interpersonal relationships, friends for discussing sex, and my wife for discussing worthless household chores. I cannot expect all this from one person, and surely not from an SB, yet there is no aspect of me that I do not share with at least one other person. But the SB relationship does not have to be that complex that she would know every aspect of me to make me happy. All I need is to put forth my jovial and talkative and non-judgmental personality and everyone is happy. Indeed, the draw with me is how “normal” I appear despite how out of the ordinary the SB knows I must be.

    What can help a sugar daddy arrangement stay fresh and exciting? Any tips?

    I wish I knew the answer to this one.

    Care to give your 2010 sugar introduction? What kind of sugar are you, now?

    A sugar player I suppose.

  699. CA Dreamin SB says:

    NY Gent – Are you trying to break me? 😉

  700. I really enjoyed The Patriot…what a great movie, but I cried..sigh. Now I’m in the mood for a good flick and some popcorn :)

  701. NYGent says:

    CA: also it is very hard to break somebody down on cross examination. In 20+ years I’ve had only two witnesses start to cry on me (both males). It felt icky, I didn’t like it (well, one guy really deserved it so I didn’t feel too bad, the other guy I really felt sorry for). Despite Perry Mason, LA Law and the like, it is very, very hard to get somebody to “confess” on the stand.

  702. NYGent says:

    Midwest: Memoirs of a Geisha, a very underrated film. Maybe not up to the book, but still VG. enjoy.

  703. NYGent says:

    IRLSD: I am older than you, and there is a real danger, with an older SD and younger SB, if you let it stay platonic for too long, of falling into a sort of fatherly mentality. After all fathers will still shower their daughters with affection and gifts even when they show no gratitude whatsoever. I don’t want to get too Freudian about it, but there may have been a bit of that going on here . . .

  704. Midwest SB says:

    I’m off sugars. Time to watch the rest of Memoirs of a Geisha and sleep off the activities of last night. Have a wonderful evening all!

  705. IRLSD says:

    NYGent, your generosity is just too much. I thought I was overly generous when I should not be, but you make me feel like a cheap-ass. I must say that people misinterpreting one’s intentions is a huge turn-off, and her presumption that you are trying to get together based on your kind gift should make you pretty annoyed—at least I am annoyed for you. As for me, I haven’t really ever given anything after an arrangement has formally ended. The way I see it is that it ended for a reason, so I don’t need to feel obligated going forward. Not like an SB is like to come over for non-compensated sex after the arrangement is over. Plus, I move on to the next SB quickly, so if I have money to give, I’d rather give it to a new SB with a potential future.

    But I can empathize with your continued low-level infatuation with her. There is one SB with whom it just didn’t work out—she was too much of a drama queen for me—and I am still kind of infatuated with her (she was so cute). She is just back on SA with a new profile. I am tempted to ask her out again but know that I just cannot bear such drama.

  706. Gemini29 says:

    Midwest – Did someone say wine country?? 😀

  707. CA Dreamin SB says:

    OH NY Gent…you say the sweetest things!

  708. NYGent says:

    CA: you are my kind of witness, able to come up with some lame but semi-plausible explanation on the spot after being tripped up! Most of my clients would just wilt under that kind of scrutiny . . .

  709. CA Dreamin SB says:

    NY Gent – by default, if they click the ‘blog’ button, are they not on the blog regardless of their degree of participation?

    If you look at popularity in a purely high-school fashion, based on whether or not a certain group of people or however many groups of people know who you are, then, the ones who do not participate at all are, by default, the least popluar as they are unknown to everyone. The qualifiers for popularity were never detailed, so, I am at liberty to use whatever scale I choose?

  710. Midwest SB says:

    Ah, a weekend in wine country…that sounds like a wonderful plan NYGent!

    CA Dreamin – I believe NYC SB and I are tentatively planning on LA. I have to wait until the tine gets a little closer. Having it on a weekend night would make a huge difference in my world (Fri or Sat).

  711. NYGent says:

    CA: sorry but there is a transcript. you said most unpopular “on the blog.” that precludes unknowns, who aren’t “on the blog” and by definition can have no “popularity” with bloggers pro or con.

    sorry it’s the cross-examing lawyer in me!

  712. NYGent says:

    AM: fine, off to Fla for annual weekend golf trip Friday. Photogirl has promised warmer weather than of late.

  713. CA Dreamin SB says:

    NY Gent – thank you for the clarification. Very big of you to go against the consensus LOL

  714. CA Dreamin SB says:

    **crickets chirping** I don’t think I’m invited :)

  715. NYGent says:

    CA: You’re in of course. Despite what everyone else is saying about you in private (jk).

  716. CA Dreamin SB says:

    NY Gent – Am I included in that NorCal meet or am I too unpopular? 😉

  717. NYGent says:

    On the LA meet: i just realized it is on a Thursday, which makes it tough for non-locals esp from the east coast who have jobs. maybe it’s more of a local LA thing anyway . . .

    Perhaps next time I am at my place in NorCal I will host one for the Norcal contingent and whoever else can make it.

  718. CA Dreamin SB says:

    NY Gent – not dodging at all! It’s like in that movie with Hugh Grant and Sandra Bullock – Two Weeks Notice – she tells him he’s the most infuriating person on the planet – or something along those lines, and he tells her that’s just silly – she doesn’t know EVERYONE on the planet, there very well might be someone more infuriating than he is!

  719. NYGent says:

    C Dramin: nice dodge!

  720. CA Dreamin SB says:

    NY Gent – Well, again, IMHO, there are several lurkers out there who we have no idea who they are, that they even exist – so – one of them is BOUND to rank as the most unpopular…at least we know IRLSD exists!

  721. CA Dreamin SB says:

    I do understand your motivation for giving her such a nice gift, but, IMHO, the LEAST she could have done was to shoot you an email to say thank you.

  722. NYGent says:

    C Dreamin. Hmm. ok, then who IS the most unpopular SD on the blog, you’ve got the rest of us all wondering and looking around at each other . . .

  723. CA Dreamin SB says:

    NY Gent – If you’d like to send me an unsolicited gift – I’d would be very appreciative and even write you a lovely thank you note! 😛 Seriously – you are WAY too nice.

  724. NYGent says:

    So I got my end of year bonus two days ago and was feeling pretty good and generous so I wired my ex-SB (the young “platonic” one) an unsolicited cash gift — not huge, but not small. Purely as a good will gesture, as there is zero chance of our getting together again as she finally made clear last month that there was no prospect of intimacy between us, ever. I just was feeling sorry for her because I know she is in rather dire straits financially and has been searching unsuccessfully for a new SD for several weeks, ever since we ended things. I told her it was being sent only as a friend to help her out and in recognition of all the nice times we had together (there were quite a few). chalk it up to pure nostalgia . . .

    anyway i got no response, no acknowledgement, nothing. I truly was not not trying to re-engage her, but maybe she interpreted it as such and was reluctant to respond so as not to provide any “encouragement.”

    This wasn’t all that unusual; other acts of generosity have similarly gone unappreciated by some SBs and pots, while others have expressed sincere and heartfelt thanks which is always gratifying and keeps me of a mind to remain generous. It just depends on the SB/pot I guess.

    I wonder what experiences other SDs on the blog who have given unsolicited gifts has been.

  725. CA Dreamin SB says:

    IRLSD – I don’t think you’re the most unpopular SD on the blog! We (or at least I) have fun listening to your situations. You should come…you might have fun!

  726. I don’t have a resolution this year….LOL.

  727. Gemini29 says:

    Hey all, glad the blog is live again! Missed it yesterday during its downtime.

    Also… I’m so glad the Chicago meet went off so well! Makes me sad that I’ve missed every meet-up so far. Maybe my New Years Resolution will be to make a sugar meet some time this year! The sooner the better though! (and I can say any gifts I bring will be firmly in the “I cooked these myself” category :) )

    Now for…the blog questions!
    Do you play-up or play-down certain aspects of your personality to enhance the sugar? If so, how?
    I might play-up my flirtatious-ness a tiny bit…really I just amp it up a notch. But otherwise, who I present myself to be is who I am. I believe in being honest and true to myself at all times.

    What can help a sugar daddy arrangement stay fresh and exciting? Any tips?

    Not sure as of yet, but I would think it would involve new ideas to keep things fun and exciting….that would make the most sense. Basically the antithesis of everything that makes normal relationships so boring and dull.

  728. IRLSD says:

    BTW, the SB/SD meet does sound like a lot of fun. But given that I am the least popular SD on the blog, lol, I’d probably be envious of all the other more popular SDs if I were to go.

  729. IRLSD says:

    Cali SB, I posted it on a blog or two ago, but IRL Polish SB didn’t quite work out. Apparently she thought that since I am married, we can have romance but no sex. Heck, married men don’t sleep with anyone but their wives, right?

    ESB, as for drama, actually the three SBs now are prett