9 years ago
Sugar Appreciation



There are all kinds of Sugar Daddy arrangements out there, but one aspect of a mutually beneficial arrangement that no sugar should neglect is appreciation – not just for the material sugar, but for the arrangement as a whole.

While even most newbie sugars know that being grateful goes a long way in making an arrangement sweet, many have reported a less than desired level of sugar gratitude…

“Unfortunately, generosity does not always beget appreciation, but rather greed. The phrase “no good deed goes unpunished” comes to mind . . .” – NYGent

The most important thing I’ve learned regarding sugar relationships that this is not about paying for sex but about giving and appreciation. Sex is a part of the relationship, but sex by itself is cheap and does not worth much. Conversations are part of relationship too, but who cares about conversations with people we don’t appreciate! – Margo

How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement?

Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how?

Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more?

Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?

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856 Responses to “Sugar Appreciation”

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  8. Beach_Girl says:

    Hi everyone!

    ElegantSugar~ Hope you had a nice trip back home!

  9. Elle-Shooger says:

    Whoops. Hit send too soon. Flo, I would love to spend a year just traveling to the top 50 restaurants around the world. Bucket list, for sure.

  10. Elle-Shooger says:

    Flo: I know you don’t work at Hertz! Sarcasm. I get it.

  11. Kiki says:

    hello to anyone who’s still online/awake.. i just got in from a fun night on the town in “near-toronto”. the more i go to bars and see men my age, the more i feel content with my decision to come to SA. recenty a DR from toronto has been showing a lot of interest in me… it’s been a long time since anyone’s done that, in real life or otherwise! yay!! i should probably go to bed… sweet dreams all :)

  12. UncommonSB says:

    Beach: The 1st said he could see himself falling in love with me quickly, and wanted to make sure that I wouldn’t just end the relationship in a few months! Not to mention he even made an odd jealous statement about how continuing to take my music lessons from a male could get too intimate! The 2nd didn’t mention love, but said he really wants me to be his real girlfriend. He would want me to travel and stay at his house where his daughter also lives (who’s almost my age btw) for about a week and a half each month.

    Flo: Very good suggestion. Thank you!

  13. Flo Rida says:

    Beach – sweet dreams to the sweet hearted.

    Elegant – i’ve been to 7 of Restaurant Magazine’s top 50 restaurants in 2008. The most I got up to was 20 of the top 50 but they keep on changing every year and there’s been a move to internationalize so restaurants from countries far and wide get in. i’ve been to pretty much every top restaurant in England and US. it’s a shame the english and french don’t get on because i’d love to go to the real L’Atelier rather than the NY, Vegas and London ones.

    IRL – it must be your good looks, rapacious humour that will set the table on a roar and your charming personality :-)

    Still working hard at Hertz!

  14. Beach_Girl says:

    Flo~ Hey girlie!!! i am off to bed too… a little under the weather today :)
    Talk soon

    Night all…

  15. Flo Rida says:


    Just insert into the bottom of your profile

    ‘I’m 100percent committed to the concept of a mutually beneficial arrangement (for the right man), comprised of financial assistance plus intimate fun. Let’s meet!

    PS Though i’m not closed to the possibility of real love, i’m realistic and those who seek a regular girlfriend need not apply.’

    Elegant – you don’t think I really work at Hertz do you?

    Beach darling – I keep on missing you! I hope you’re warmer i’m about to catch some zzzzs and back up early later in the morning.

    End of story, morning glory.

  16. Beach_Girl says:

    UncommonSB~ Do they say they are in Love with you on the first date?
    or that they just want a GF?

  17. UncommonSB says:

    Good evening all!

    Any suggestions on how to better clarify that I am NOT wanting a real relationship? I thought my profile was pretty substantive and detailed enough about wanting to have fun, long distance, no drama.

    Pot #2 just struck out tonight similarly, but not as over the top, as Pot #1. Wants a real girlfriend, whereas I want a funfriend.

    Do I need to begin every conversation with a certain qualifying question? Wouldn’t that be kind of harsh to immediately stress that I am not looking for something emotionally intense or life consuming? How do I say that without coming across as cold, which I certainly am not? I don’t even know how to identify what I am or am not doing to encourage this real girlfriend talk.

    Matters of the heart can never be predicted or forced, and I imagine that it’s remotely possible to fall in love with an sd if the planets aligned following some real history together, but come on already! We’re talking first dates, and I don’t like this trend that seems to be starting with my pots.

  18. Beach_Girl says:

    Good night, Talk to you soon!

  19. Sexy Lexiii says:

    ahh doesnt work,o well. imma call it a night too. no late bloggers like us haha

  20. Beach_Girl says:

    oh it’s a site called engravatar dot com i think
    you add your email you use here and a photo of you , or anything…

  21. Sexy Lexiii says:

    oooh, how do people get their pics to be displayed on the blog when they write?

  22. Beach_Girl says:


  23. Sexy Lexiii says:

    well i live in NY, how about u?

  24. Beach_Girl says:

    Sexy~ I hear you… It does take time… i’m good… feeling a little under the weather but good!
    So where are you from?

  25. Sexy Lexiii says:

    hey thanks beach_girl, i’m ok. learning the element of “patience” on this site but its cool i guess just wish there were less phonies and more honest ppl o well how are u???

  26. Beach_Girl says:

    Hi Sexy! i’m here for a minute, how are you?
    By the way welcome

  27. Sexy Lexiii says:

    it is quiet…the one night i decide to be on it ….figures lol

  28. VA SB says:

    Hi JSO – how are you tonight???

    Hey Taz – whatcha doin’ tonight??

    Pretty quiet night on the blog – maybe everyone is just winding down from the hard week. I know I am…

    I’ll probably sign out for the night and go get some rest. Have a good night everyone.

  29. Beach_Girl says:

    Hi everyone!

    Welcome to the new bloggers…

  30. Sexy Lexiii says:

    i’m here JSO

  31. Sexy Lexiii says:

    hey everyone,hows it going?


    guess i logged in and everyone left


    Hey TT
    If SDN can be the stuff; maybe I can try

  34. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Hi VASB, WALMART lmao!, and NJL :)

  35. NJLady says:

    I’m going to do that. I’m still waiting for my picture to be approved. Maybe when he sees it, he’ll contact me…..or not. Thanks VA SB and Taylor for the advice.


    good evening everyone

  37. VA SB says:

    NJLady – yeah, we’ve all been there and done that… sometimes we just have this need to know…. At the same time, Taylor’s right, it’s best to leave it alone. Let him reach out to you first, then go from there. But you know, when I’m bored, I do the same thing.

  38. NJLady says:

    I know….just needed someone to stop me before I made a fool of myself

  39. Taylor says:

    Leave it alone. I hate it when this happens to me, too, but …. he’s just not that into you.

  40. NJLady says:

    Evening Sugar’s,

    I’m on here tonight, debating, (still) rather or not I should contact a SD, who had contacted me last year. He had ask me out then for some reason, (maybe the obvious) never heard from him again. Now he’s back on SA, apparently he just signed back up this week. I just want to go into his profile. He won’t know it’s me, I have a different profile name. Maybe I should just leave it alone. I don’t want to seem as though I’m desperate. I’ll go to see who recently logged on I never see him there. He keep’s that Last Logged in that say’s Block by Member, on. I don’t know, I’m bored and lonely tonight, just sitting here having a glass of wine.

  41. VA SB says:

    Hey OC – can you send me Gemini’s email address? She gave permission above – maybe yesterday.

    Have a safe trip home Elegant…hope your trip to Vegas was worth it.

    There’s another meet in LA or NY? I have to read the posts again…well, if there is – hope you all have fun.

    It’s been a rough few days at the office…sometimes people shock the hell out of me. They probably shouldn’t after all these years, but it never fails…so glad it’s the weekend.

    Oh – ESB is trying to login but baby girl stole the computer :-). She’ll login soonest, but she wants to say HI to everyone.


  42. Taylor says:

    Exactly. When it comes to sugar dating, it’s not like some guy wants to pay you a weekly or monthly allowance to help ease things in your world, just for the priviledge of hanging out with you. He’s gonna want something a bit more spicy from a sugar baby in his life that he’s investing money into, for sure. But you can take as much time as he and you feel is appropriate to feel things out before taking the plunge and discussing what an ‘arrangement’ that is mutually beneficial means to both of you, and if you are put off at the thought of sex with someone that you’ve met through the site and feeling icky, then………. NEXT!! At some point the right guy whom you are genuinely into, who also is into you, and can meet your financial expectations for an arranagement, will present himself. And you won’t be icked out by wondering if he’s ‘expecting sex’ with you because you’ll be refraining yourself from jumping him until a ladylike period of time has elapsed and you can feel comfortable going for it. :)

  43. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Caramel angel – It’s your choice when you’re ready – but understand – the SD may or may not give you an allowance, etc. until HE is ready.

  44. Caramel angel says:

    Thanks for the advice! I know sex is part of any relationship butin my experience its always been my choice, when Im ready. I guess Im just trying to understand if this is any different. Thanks so much for your help. :-)

  45. Taylor says:

    I’ve been following the blog, but not commenting much….

    So I met local pot SD last night. I brought my girlfriend in on it because she and I are more than friends, and she + he + I enjoyed quite a great night out on the town, with lots of kissing going on in every direction. This man thought he hit the jackpot, and every other man in the city was wondering if he was some sort of celebrity or what, to have two gorgeous women making out in his lap. :) Hilarious. Talk about an interesting initial contact get together!
    I had a certain high ticket item on my wishlist that I couldn’t afford, dropped the hint, and 18 hours later it is sitting in my living room. It’s my first sugary extravagant present ‘just because’….ever! And I didn’t even meet him on SA, but rather through a local site for non-sugar dating! I put a thorough and no-way-to-mis-interpret ad for a SD out there in my city, and one came to me within about….3 hours of posting the ad. And the following day took me out on an amazing day, which I invited my gal pal on, and the three of us had an amazing time. I like him.

    But still, I long for my long-distance-pot-SD to follow through with his intentions, which would be everything I could sugar dream of and more. And I have secret fantasies of even having a fairytale happily ever after ending with the long-distance-pot-SD I’ve been smitten on all month. He’s single, after all, as am I. Why not? I am so into him.

    This local guy is married and not someone I could see myself with anyways. But a great guy nonetheless. It’s nice to have a fallback plan if faraway-pot-SD just totally vanishes and ends up providing no sugar at all. I really hope that this second meeting which is supposed to happen in two or nine days (depending on which week he is able to travel, which apparently he STILL doesn’t know) clears EVERYTHING up.

    Any words of advice or wisdom from more experienced SBs? I’ve never had an SD and I’m so green and stupid….

  46. Taylor says:

    Caramel angel,
    Of course men want to have sex with beautiful women whom they wine, dine, spend time with, and become infatuated with. That goes for sugar or normal dating. The trick is just to go out once or twice with a man and see if you could imagine yourself being able to reciprocate the sexual attraction. When you find chemistry with a man, who also is treating you with the appreciation and chivalry that you crave, then you might have yourself the makings of a mutually beneficial relationship. :)

  47. ElegantSugar says:

    Have a fabulous night, NYCBella!

    Thanks for NYC SB’s email, OC. :)

    Have a great time all going to the meet-up this weekend!

    (….pardon the emotional outburst……..)

  48. ElegantSugar says:

    Photogirl: INCOMING @ YAHOO!

  49. Caramel angel says:

    Hi everyone! I am completely new to this whole thing. Hopefully someone will be willing to elaborate for me because Ive never been a sugar baby before. Ive dated men my age and they are immature, unappreciative and dishonest. I decided to become a SB because Im hoping to meet a SD who will appreciate me and enjoy the time I spebd with him. I am a little curious about the intimacy, it seems to be expected but is there an obligation? It seems like there would be that expectation of sex and I just wanted someone with more experience to let me know how it works. Thanks.

  50. ElegantSugar says:

    Dear lord, help me. The kid beside me is scarfing down a double cheeseburger. I would DIE for one of those right now. Personal trainer would KILL ME!! Ugh.

  51. NYCBella says:

    Finishing up at work and off for some fun in the city. Have a lovely nite, all.

  52. ElegantSugar says:

    Yay! I was able to log on from ORD.

    Flo: What are you apologizing to me for?? In total agreement thatall models (and ex models) ARE bitches. I am around them all the time myself (and used to be one). Also born in Asia. We have a few things in common. Only I was sworn in as a U.S. Citizen, I don’t work at Hertz and I know nothing about (nor do I want to) preparing taxes.

    Welcome newbies.

    have a great weekend, all. Signing off. A little bitchy from traveling all day. and being in HELL for hours, also known as the Las Vegas airport security line. Home in three more hours. THANK THE LORD.

  53. Betty says:

    Wilma Molly – I don’t want him to leave you, just asked if we could share him 😉

    Fred – Great!! I know this little place just outside of Bedrock to have a yabba dabba doo time!

  54. takeout says:

    Hi All

    I think i’m a try and get back in the SB game. lol its a lil harder for the males than the females. i used to blog on here some months ago but im back with a new name. GL everyone

  55. Wilma Molly says:

    If Fred wants to leave me you can have him.

  56. NYGent says:

    anna molly/yaz/creme brulee/ecf: we’ll miss you. this was very impromptu, catch you at next one.

    and to my bromance, NC gent, I’ll miss you too!

  57. CA Dreamin SB says:

    LASB – SO envious!!! Have a great time!

  58. LASB says:

    Hi Sugars! Frantically getting ready here. Can’t wait to meet you!!! Thanks NYGent for putting this together soooooo last minute and sorting out the logistics and contacts. :) :) :) :)

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Happy Friday LASB, I sent your email to ElegantSugar. Enjoy NY :)
      It is still raining pretty hard, but I have some fun sugar’y indoor activities planned for this weekend :) TTYL

  59. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    Betty: If I can’t have you, I’ll be a Tyrannosaurus Wreck.

  60. Betty says:

    Fred: I’ve always had the hots for you!

    Wilma Molly: Will you share?

  61. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    AM: Wilma Molly….ROFL. Load pebbles in the car and off we go.

    I am opening a bottle of wine!

  62. Joy and Lynn – Welcome, I live in Denver as well, nice to see someone else on SA from the mile high city!

  63. Wilma Molly says:

    Fred ~ OH Boy! Can we go to the drive-in and then get something to eat after?

  64. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    AM: You can be my Wilma!

  65. NJLady says:

    Welcome Joy & (my name is Joy also) Lynn. I’m new here, sort of. Signed up last year, had no luck, decided to give it another try. Everyone on here are helpful…Good luck.

  66. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Welcome Joy & Lynn…wishing you the best of luck :)

  67. photogirl says:

    UKSB, Joy & Lynn – Welcome…always great to have new bloggers join us!

    SDN – With that sweet new ride I found you I am sure you can pick someone up for the weekend 😉

  68. Anna Molly says:

    SDN ~ Can I be Wilma?

  69. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    Maybe Barney and I will go bowling.

  70. UncommonSB says:

    What are the chances of having a golf meet in Scottsdale, AZ in early spring? Anyone interested? Think warm sunshine, great spas and poolside cocktails…

  71. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    Joy and Lynn: I think you need to correct your profile “Lynn is going is finishing up graduate school”, by removing “is going”.

    NC Gent: Good luck. I have a weekend alone :(

  72. NC Gent says:

    Hi AM — things are going pretty well. Trying to plan a sugar date now :)

    Heya SDN!

  73. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    AM: Thanks from the quarry. Almost quiting time!

    Joy and Lynn: Welcome to the blog! I, like NC Gent, haven’t seen a sister profile yet but a quick preview and I like how you represent yourselves. Good luck in your search.

    UKSB: Glad you came out of lurking and started posting. Sorry you have had bad experiences in the past. Hopefully you will find someone you connect with soon! I will give your profile a look this weekend and post my advice, just realize it is worth what you are paying and I am blunt…if you have been lurking you probably know that 😉

  74. Anna Molly says:

    Hi NC! How is your sugar treating you?

  75. NC Gent says:

    Welcome to the blog Joy and Lynn, and best wishes in your search. I think that is the first sisters team I have ever seen on SA. Interesting!

  76. Anna Molly says:

    I want to welcome all the new bloggers to the family :)

    Hello everybody! I seem to have forgotten my manners lately! I haven’t been around much, but it is tax time and I have 4 accounts to take care of so I’ve been busy and productive! YAY!! :)

    I hope everyone is having a good day and I hope the meet goes well tonight. Think about me while all of you are out having fun…sigh. :)

  77. Joy and Lynn says:

    Most of these questions are questions that we discuss. We love meeting new people and seeing where it will go. You never know how something will turn out so we don’t close up any opportunities. But we don’t believe that sexual encounters should be a guarantee or how someone should show appreciation.
    We joined the site because currently we are in some tight binds that stress us out way too much. If anyone knows about stress, they understand how it can cause problems with everything else in your life. We know the bind will not be a long time thing… but meeting someone on here could be… relationship, friendship, who knows. We decided to sign up because of the two factors (love meeting people and the bind). We want to show as much appreciation as possible. We don’t do things we don’t want to do. If we talk a lot, e-mail, hangout, etc, it is because we want to and enjoy doing so. We also hope that whoever we are with enjoys our company too. Yeah, it does suck to have to put yourself out there and admit you need some help financially and ask someone because you don’t want them to think they are being taken advantage of or being used for that reason and that reason only.
    We hope there are some SD’s out there that do understand this. We’re such there are probably some SB’s out there who feel the same way. The only problem is being able to tell everyone apart.

    lots of love & good luck to everyone! we’re lookin’ for that luck too!

  78. Yaz says:

    Flo~ You really are a wealth of knowledge! You should write a book about your sugar experiences or create a blog or something! I would totally read it!! :-)

  79. Yaz says:

    Muse~ NYGent and I are not having a blogmance lol Just telling him someone has a crush on him Haha

  80. Yaz says:

    NYC last minute meet~ You guys have fun!!! Have a drink for me! lol :-)

  81. UKSB says:

    SDN – sorry should’ve said, I’ve never actually posted on the blog before.. but been a lurker for a few months now. you all give such great advice, people who use seeking arrangement but don’t read the blog are missing out!

  82. Anna Molly says:

    Hey Fred!….Nice to see you..LOL. 😉

  83. cleo says:

    nygent actually it’s not “quite” my old number one, this one i’m smiling instead of that wicked smirk :)

    that said, i do like the gym floor one and i’ll probably switch back but i wanted to see if i could get the attention of men who like a little more glamour. i was concerned my photos were too casual…

    and fyi, always assume that i want your opinion :)

  84. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    UKSB: Welcome back to the blog. I have been on a couple months and don’t recall seeing a post from you. Glad you are back.

  85. NYGent says:

    Cleo: I love the new first photo too. #3 your old #1 is still good.

    for #2 i’d go back to the old red on the gym floor, just my opinion.

  86. NYGent says:

    NYCBella: found you. you have mail.

    muse: you have mail too.

  87. cleo says:

    AM: thanks! i thought i’d try something a little less casual and a little more “ooohh she cleans up nice”

  88. Anna Molly says:

    Cleo ~ I like the new pics! The first is my fave. :)

  89. NYGent says:

    NYCBella: sorry can’t access either where i am.

    others: note change of venue coming soon due to size increase.

  90. cleo says:

    nygent she’s 4XXXX and she means you can click on her name…

    you can’t though because she has to take member/same out of her profile

  91. cleo says:

    glamazon: to me the sb should know the status so she can act accordingly. you might act differently if you have to be married discreet than single discreet

    YAY MY NEW PICS ARE UP!!! are they better?

    Muse: awww blush, thanks!
    LASB it took nearly four years to get really back to myself, at least two for any real progress… people who met me then and see me now cannot comprehend that i could be the same woman as that fat broken shuffling one they met…

    that said, i always struggled for a positive frame of mind which is probably why it came back.

    props to you, it’s a tough trip

  92. CA Dreamin SB says:

    NY Gent – I’m probably once again speaking out of turn, but, I think she means you can click on her blog name to get to her profile…but…it has “samedetail” and not just detail so I’m not sure you’ll be able to click through to it.

  93. NYGent says:

    NYCBella: not sure what that means, “page is available by tag name.” you mean NYCBella is your profile name (btw it shouldn’t be, for security reasons). plus one can’t search by profile name. if you are in NYC and give me an age and height i can probably find it.

  94. NYCBella says:

    Ok…have to run to do laundry…grrrr…I’ve put it off way too long. So, LASB or NYGent…please let me know the plans and I can’t wait to meet you all and put a face to the “posts”…lol. I have internet on my phone but not sure if I can chk the blog but will be able to log into my account.

  95. NYCBella says:

    NYGent~That sounds great. Shoot me an email (My page is available by my tag name)…or if there are the blog gods out there that can pass it along that would be greatly appreciated.

  96. Flo Rida says:

    NY Gent – ah but I can be speaker of the House (which doesn’t require me to be an American citizen) and in the event of death of the President and Vice President, the Speaker of the House becomes President. Also the President, House & Congress can amend the US Constitution.

    I have level 1 security access with the UK DoD (unless it’s been revoked).

    Still working hard at Hertz.

    NeOhioSB – you must be very smart!

  97. UKSB says:

    hello sugars :) I’ve been away from the site for a while after one too many bad experiences but I’ve decided to give it another go. Going to have a total profile overhaul so would love some help from all the experts on the board? profile number is 348957.. feel free to message me some tips :) thanks xx

  98. Anna Molly says:

    Hmmmm, what can I bring?

  99. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Gemi – sounds good to me! Trying to decide what I should bring

  100. Gemini29 says:

    AM and CA Dreamin – Guess we’ll just have to have an on-blog party this evening to make up for missing out on all the good IRL events. I’ll bring cake and wine. 😉

  101. NEOhio SB says:

    Good afternoon all….Just a quick blog as I have a very sugar filled weekend before the major tax crunching begins and i sit in hibernation til March 16th. ( fyi…corp. deadline)

    Villa C ~~ Got your text…thank you. Nice to see your blog postings again…and yes, yoiu are an amazing friend..far and few are truly genuine, sincere and classy as you.

    Flo ~~ I can absolutley relate to your SDs 4ft. tall taxes,….I am into the corp. international taxes ( was w a big 8 firm for many years as a senior partner)…so, they tend to be much more detailed, involved, not only w various states, but countries…which is quite challenging…although i tend to love intellectual stimulation and challenges. And FYI>..The info you gained on cocoa IS correct…

    VA SB ~~ Hope your daughters braces visit went well and you didn’t have to deal with the pain.

    And all the CALI sbs…..hope you are all surviving the storms and tad of flooding.

    And to the DC sbs….hope you all have a wonderful time together

    Be safe everyone…hope the rest of you all have a sugar filled weekend !!…….until Monday…ciao ciao~~

    p.s. If anyone wants to see something truly adorable …visit you tube…search “Charlie bit me again”…you will smile and realize how precious some of the little things in life are…..!!!!!!

  102. CA Dreamin SB says:

    AM – I know how you feel! Why aren’t there any great West Coast SD’s who want to have blog get-togethers? :)

  103. Anna Molly says:

    Of course, once again I miss out…LOL. You guys have fun :)

  104. NYGent says:

    Flo Rida: born in Asia? Guess you’ll never be U.S. President then . . .

    NYCBella: LASB and I are putting together a little last minute, mini-blog get together tonite, but don’t have your contact info.

    NYCSB: welcome to join too but you’re still in Bahamas?

    anyone else?

    Muse: you have mail.

  105. Flo Rida says:

    Muse – I also lived in Asia on numerous occasions, and I was born in Asia. I’ve been very ill from intestinal problems from trips to Mexico and Vietnam.

    ElegantSB – apologies!

    VA-SB – I don’t have spunk, i’m just a New Yorker :-)

    2chic – believe it or not but SD fired his personal admin and now I am his personal admin – literally. I made a $6k error recently and I was cross with myself but I redeemed myself when I found out that SD was continuing to pay his old admin ($10k per month – $30k of continued payments). SD’s brother in law said let’s get it back and SD said ‘how we’ve got no leverage’. I said ‘it’s just a party’ and SD said ‘right and a small party at that, let’s stop talking about it i’m annoyed’.

    If anyone thinks this is an easy job, SD’s tax returns are about 4ft tall as he files in every state his partnership has an office or country – this is also because some states request copies of federal tax returns so there’s a lot of double counting. Also SD went through 4 drivers last year and guess who has to fire them, we also interviewed for 3 pilots and 1 mechanic.

    NEOhioSB – I know a bit about taxes and so you have my sympathy.

    Gemi – Hope you make many trips to the Gug, MoMa, Met & my personal favourite the Frick in future. The Isabella Gardner Stewart in Boston (?) and the Getty in LA are excellent as well.

    There’s a book called Love Languages and there’s also a book called Apology Languages (something similar)- both are excellent. Also models are notoriously bitchy (i’m an ex-model) and I was a bitch (alas some may say I still am).

    Lastly on a depressing front I had a drink with a strategy consultant who said the cocoa (chocolate) prices are going up as the cocoa trees are dying. I have no idea what she’s talking about but she said luxury chocolate prices will go up this coming year. Gives me another reason (weight) to give up chocolate.

    Really lastly, all of what I say is untrue, I work at Hertz (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and have an overactive imagination. PAX

  106. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    Oh yes, I should mention….how are the rest of the CA SBS faring? You all have been in my thoughts! Especially with all the flooding and mudslides out there!

  107. CA Dreamin SB says:

    VA – Well, the rain seems to have finally stopped. I fared okay – where my back yard was, I now have a 6″ deep infinity pool :) It should dry up in a couple of weeks without any more rain! Definitely could have been worse

  108. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    VA SB – 😀 Aww thanks! Keep us updated on how the meetup turns out! And I second the desire/need for local SB friends to have! 😀

    OC or Stephan, can you give VA SB my email addy please? Thanks!

  109. VA SB says:

    Heehee – yeah, I’ll be stopping at the store on the way home tonight….Woohoo!

    Gemini – then we’ll just have to plan for a night when you CAN come out with us… It will be great to have friends in the area to share discussion and converation about the sugar life. Don’t work too hard this weekend.

    CA Dreamin – how are you doing today with the rain and floods….You all right?

  110. CA Dreamin SB says:

    VA SB – OH MY – I can’t tell you how badly I need a drink…but it’s not even noon here yet 😉

  111. NYGent says:

    I saw the Kandinsky too. wonderful. but guggenheim still has plenty of kankinsky’s even when not a special exhibit.

  112. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    NYC Bella- Nope not a NewYorker. If I were, I’d be seeing every awesome exhibit up there that I could!

    VA SB – Yup, so glad the weekend is finally here! Its nice having some time to myself!

    Re: MD/DC/VA Meetup.

    Sorry I’ll be missing the MD/DC/VA meetup this weekend, I couldn’t get off from my job! :( You girls have a drink for me, I wish I could be raising my glass with you all!

  113. VA SB says:

    Hi Everyone – just stopping by to say hello. It’s been crazy busy at work for me the last two days and I’m SO ready for the weekend. I seriously need a drink…. :-)

  114. NYCBella says:

    Gem~you def should…are you a New Yorker as well? I hate that I missed the Kandinsky at the Guggenheim, but there’s always another amazing one just around the corner. It’s easy to let time slip away without taking in all the city has to offer.

  115. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    Hi Everyone! Ooh are we talking about awesome NYC art exhibits? Fun! Have always wanted to go see one or two, never have had the chance.

  116. Muse says:

    Hmph! I see how it is. I leave and everyone shows up again. 😉

    NYGent – Thanks for the recommendation. I’ll have to check it out.

    LASB – Only until Sunday? Really? You don’t want to stay longer?

    Hi Yaz, TT, AM, TXSB!

  117. NYCBella says:

    Morning, all. (Or I guess “Happy Afternoon…TGIF!” is more appropriate). Just getting home after dance class.

    LASB. I’m definitely available for a drink this evening (alas, both pot SD’s are out of the city for the weekend). :( I’ve never emailed another SB…how does one go about that?

    Kiki~I know! My coworker got me hooked on that show and it’s like watching a horribly fascinating train wreck…I just couldn’t look away! lol

  118. TXSB says:

    Hi Yaz, LASB, NYGent, Taz, Anna, CA Dreamin and anyone else I’m missing! :)

    I’ve met some of these SDs too. In one case, he had “separated” on his profile but tried telling me how they’re just living in the same hour for the sake of the kids….the “kids” in this case were 19 and 24!

  119. Yaz says:

    Morning y’all!!! :-)

    NYGent you got mail :-)

  120. LASB says:

    Ok, waiting for my SB friend to meet up with, so I have a few more minutes. I looooooove Edward Scissorhands! That’s the main thing I want to see. Water lillies are cool, but I’ve seen them a bunch already. They seem to keep following me around, or me them. haha. I’m also gonna hit the Met to check out their temp stuff too.

    Cleo – Yes, my life is not horrible, despite all that is going on. My philosophy is to be in denial as much as possible (though not stupidly so) because I think mood and outlook in life is related to success and outcome. We create our own luck, fate, etc. And again, I’ve been so fortunate to have the friends I do. They know how to keep my spirits up without even trying. I’ve been through the bad times, but I know I can always recover. LIke what you were saying to OC about the pain thing, been there done that. Yes it’s chronic, but I learned to manage it. It changed my life sooooo drastically. The thing is, for people who are super happy, even when tragedy hits (accidents, financial crisis, death of loved ones, etc), they typically go back to being happy within a year. It took me a little longer, but the rainbows have come after ever storm.

    Muse – I’m here until Sunday.

    Hi Photogirl, Anna Molly, CA Dreamin, Taz, NYGent, and others!
    Elegant – I am probably not going to be back to NYC until June, but if all goes as planned, I should make it out to Florida in late may.

  121. As far as marital status goes every single man that has ever contacted me with “separated” as their marital status wanted to have our initial meeting mid-day during the week. I seriously doubt that their wives know they are separated. Not that I judge, but I’m a big girl please be straight up with me.

  122. NYGent says:

    Hello again Muse.

    I also recommend the Lincoln bicentennial exhibit at NY Historical Society on CPW, if you’re into American or NYC history.

  123. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    You called us all out Muse lol

  124. Anna Molly says:

    I’m lurking around :)

  125. TXSB says:

    It’s me…. 😉

  126. CA Dreamin SB says:

    I’m here too :)

  127. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    I am here Muse – how are you today?!

  128. Muse says:

    Boy, I sure know how to clear a room/blog.

    You can come back now…..I’m leaving.

  129. Muse says:

    The Water Lilies are still there. I’m planning on seeing them in the next week. I’ve been meaning to for the last few months but definitely this week. 😀

  130. NYGent says:

    I saw the Tim Burton too, it was great (as were the Monet Water Lilies, not sure if they’re still there). The life-sized Johnny Depp as Scissorhands was the highlight of TB.

  131. TXSB says:

    Hi Everyone! Trying to catch up on the blog but wanted to say “hi” meanwhile… :)

  132. Muse says:

    Flo- I lived there for a while so I was used to the bacteria and was fine. When I go back now though, it’s a whole different story…

    LASB – How long are you in town? I loved the Tim Burton exhibit and am so happy whenever I hear someone is going to see it.

    cleo- I think you’ve accomplished that goal then.

  133. cleo says:

    photogirl sounds like we all could :)

  134. photogirl says:

    Hello Everyone!

    LASB – Glad you are enjoying your trip!

    Elegant Sugar – Absolutely!!! It is great to have another SB nearby! I am sure I could learn a few things from you. :)

  135. cleo says:

    Muse: funny thing, wise is one of the words i most want to earn in my life
    Elegant Sugar: and i was saying that before grey’s anatomy was on the air *g*

    morning btw
    LASB: you lead a pretty nice life for a girl on hard times. kudos to you for managing it :)

    i just thought the general tone lacked any kind of sympathy for the other person at the table and i don’t actually know how to do that.
    okay wow, i have never had a photo take this long. i’m going to think more seriously before i freshen things up again…

  136. ElegantSugar says:

    So far, I have not been able to log on at MCO, TPA or DEN. Someone told me if you have your own wireless card, you should be able to. I am usually signing into the airport’s network via my internal wireless. Maybe that has something to do with it???? Ok, heading down to the lobby now. Have a glorious day, all!

  137. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Elegant – I was able to sign on at every airport I was in while traveling around Xmas…guess it depends on the airport.

  138. ElegantSugar says:

    Good morning, Sugar world!

    All packed and SO ready to head back home and get out of this cold and rain. Brrrrrrr.

    DS SB:I have wondered that about NYC SB’s photo too! Oh, and Darlin’, if I could fit you in my luggage, I would welcome you along!

    LASB: How long will you be in NYC? I will be there in February for a few days. Would love to have your email address. If you haven’t yet, go have dinner/drinks at the Spotted Pig!

    Photogirl: I got your message and wrote back! Let’s get together soon! I don’t have any other trips planned until February.

    Has anyone else noticed the SA site is a blocked while at the airports? So far I have tried at three airports and couldn’t get in. The error message reads something like, “This site has been blocked due to unsuitable content.”

    Have a wonderful day, everyone!

  139. LASB says:

    Hi Everyone! Wow, looks like I have a lot of catching up to do. Or not. I am the slowest reader on the planet.

    SoCal Blondie – Welcome! I am always happy to see local folk on here.

    Flo rida – Wecome back. I think it takes a big person to apologize, and the one you wrote had a sincere feel.

    Cleo – I’m sorry for how some comments on here made you feel on here. I am big on tolerance and nonjudgmental attitudes.

    Elegant – I never once read your stories and thought they were mythical. If I were on the West Coast at this time, I’d have loved to have joined you in Vegas. I can be a bit of a Vegas junkie, especially in the winter.

    Cali – Yes I am still in NYC and hoping to stay away long enough to stay dry, but not so long that I never recover from the sleep deficit that NYC induces. Got my Gaga on and even spotted The Donald getting down to Pokerface. Talk about a great gift from an SD, and he’s not even mine! I’m staying at a friend’s huge (yes, even by CA standards) apt. Again, not an SD, but just one of many wonderful, generous, loyal friends who has shown me kindness as I’m going through a rough patch he doesn’t even know about. It goes to show that life can be pretty sugary even without the sugar reminding me that even if the sugar hunt isn’t very sugary, life still can be.

    BTW, if anyone in NYC wants to get a quick drink (yes, I know what busy lives y’all live) feel free to send me an email (via stephen or OC, or any number of people who have my address.) Now I’m off to see the Tim Burton MOMA show. :)

  140. DC SB says:

    Good Morning everyone!

    Elegant, your sugar life is so fascinating. Take me with you in your luggage :)

    Midwest, we wish you were here in the DC area as well :(

    NYC SB I’ve been curious for awhile and I’m sure everyone else knows but.. what is your picture of? I want to say legs ..

  141. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    Morning everyone! Got in so late last night that I could barely scroll through the blog.

    I guess we never found out how the SDs prefer to be “appreciated”? 😉

  142. cleo says:

    wow, i put up a new photo yesterday morning and it’s still not approved….

    morning y’all

  143. Anna Molly says:

    Good Morning Everybody! :)

    Looks like another cold one…sigh.

  144. ElegantSugar says:

    For the record, both of my past SDs were married (I don’t have an issue with that). I just can’t believe a man would list himself as divorced when he is still VERY married as this one was. Based on the letter from wifey, she was away on a glorious vacation with family and their children while he was “gallivanting with and manipulating younger women.” (her words, not mine.)

  145. ElegantSugar says:

    Back from dinner and Blackjack $350 over! Yeeeeessss!

    SBnxtdoor: True story: I went out on a couple of dates with a pot SB last summer and we really hit it off. It was during the time my first SD and I mutually decided to part ways. This pot SD had “divorced” on his profile. We talked on the phone for quite a few weeks before actually meeting because he was away on business travel. When he returned, we went out on two dates. One of our dates was even at his house! I had to go to Europe for work and we promised to reconnect when I returned. But then all of a sudden he disappeared and after a few attempts at contacting him without result, I just moved on. I assumed he met a new SB while I was away in Europe. Fast forward four months later (I have now met and gone into a relationship/arrangement with someone else) and out of the blue I receive a message from the pot SD’s WIFE! It was addressed to 8 other women and started with…”Hi Ladies. Allow me to introduce myself. I am “so and so’s” wife….” It was a very long letter and I was in shock that this man was still actually married. During out “courting period”, he called me several times a day and even in the evening – perhaps he was separated and was just lying about the divorce, I’m not sure. It can get sticky…even if you THINK they are divorced.

    Flo Rida: I believe it was Muse who traveled to India. I’m the one who (hopefully) will get to experience El Bulli this year.

    I’m spending Superbowl weekend in Miami. Will anyone be around that area then

    Tired. Early flight.

    Good night, Sugars.

    May visions of Sugar Daddies/Babies dance in your heads….


  146. Cali SB says:

    SoCal Blondie — Have fun at the Playboy Mansion on Super Bowl Sunday! I went for the Halloween party and snuck into the VIP section (hilarious, but semi-long story). So much fun! :)

  147. SBnxtdoor says:

    Oh hey, I have a question for you gals: I am hesitant to sugar date a man who is even separated because I am afraid that his wife and/or her lawyer will start combing through the financials, and that I will be discovered. I do not need a psycho Shelock Holmes coming after me. I am a small business owner and afraid of any one doing anything crazy, like showing up at my office, screaming like a banshee. Just shoot me Mrs. Butafuco, but don’t embarras me in front of my clients.

  148. SBnxtdoor says:

    All I can say is things could get interesting in the next 5 days or so. I have a second date with a pot– he is super sexy, unmarried and he digs me. I feel his trepidation because he said that we would need to feel each other out (ha, maybe he means that in the literal sense) before providing an allowance. Then there is a cheerful new guy, who e-mailed earlier and reappeared. He is separated and wants to make a date w/ me. There is one more who e-mailed me tonight that I thought wasn’t interested at all. Let us hope one of these gentlemen can replace the gem of gems that I lost to some other lucky gal last week. Just when you think your inbox is empty and there are no fish in the sea– VOILA!!

  149. Flo Rida says:

    SoCal Blondie – i’m jealous – i’ve never been to Playboy Mansion on my own i’ve always gone as part of an entourage and let’s just say that the entourage don’t look like movie stars. Boo hoo. Also our ‘in’ is someone SD doesn’t even like that much and always asks for return favors if you know what I mean. Finally Feb 7th is my b-day and a dear old friend who is an i-banker at JP Morgan (London) is flying in to celebrate with me and a tiny group of friends. Last year I watched half of the Superbowl in Seoul-Incheon airport in transit back from a medical mission in Asia. Btw my organization sent volunteers to Mynamar and SD is donating $25,000 to Haiti aid organizations. I was asked to vet a list of aid organizations today.

    Maybe i’ll see you at Hef’s one night, i’ll be the tall, flat chested, ugly gal with the short but in shape and slightly older but probably the richest guy in the room plain looking guy.

    Muse or was it ElegantSugar (i think) – what were you doing at an India – Pakistan test match? I hope you escaped the subcontinent without intestinal problems.

    VC – gotta love Margaux – strange that i’ve never been – the French (sorry) don’t like the English (or indeed Americans). Sorry you had to sell your Kelly’s. So glad your arm is healing.

    NeOhioSB – I posted a long time ago the name of the Manager of LaPerla – SoHo – I think it’s Falotica – She’s Persian but has an Italian name. She’s treated me nicely. Btw I actually live UES.

    Taz and Yaz – By the way I’m a brunette and so is NYC SB and so is Taz – right?

    ciao peeps

  150. Beach_Girl says:

    Hey everyone!

    Hope everyone is good!

  151. Kiki says:

    NYCBella — yes!! jersey shore… i thought i was the only one.. 😛

  152. Its actually easy to get in. You submit picturess and if they like you, you get put on the list. All boys have to buy tickets and get approved by hef though.

  153. Aussie SB says:

    So Cal Blondie- Youe soooo lucky id give anything to go 😀

  154. I was reading about earlier posts. I go to the Playboy Mansion all the time! Talk about a magical place! I’ll be there for Super Bowl Sunday!

  155. IRLSD says:

    I felt so bad making my webcam SB cry last night when I was trying to break up with her that I ended up apoligizing today and sending her $700 to fix her car. Now she is crying from happiness. I am probably just being manipulated and used, but I guess only time will tell. Two months till spring break, so I’ll see if she is for real or just a tease.

    I was thinking today that what makes me successful professionally is my endless optimism. I just have 100% faith that everything I touch will be perfect, and so it pretty much invariably ends up that way, hence my professional success and fame in my field. I need to bring that into sugar dating somehow by just exuding optimism all the time. I will have to practice mastering that.

  156. Aussie SB says:

    TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) – Im in Queensland, Australia

  157. IRLSD says:

    Midwest Mistress of the Dark, I’d hate to be supporting my SB’s BF if he is living off of her. Then it feels like he is pimping her out and leeching off of her. If they are just dating and not living together, it’s fine, though not ideal, because then I invariably have to deal with the SB’s guilt, the fact that I have to be scheduled around her BF, etc–issues that I have dealth with personally and which always lead to the demise of the relationship.

  158. Aussie SB says:

    thankyou midwest 😀 ill put them to good use.

  159. IRLSD says:

    ElegantSugar, once I move on, I pretty much move on. It didn’t work for a reason, so why go back to what already failed when there is what hasn’t failed yet available? I tried going back once and it didn’t work. An SB with whom things fizzled out asked a couple of months later if I’d give her another shot, and I agreed. When we were in bed I realized what I had already realized the first time around—I just don’t see myself having sex with her, so I had to turn her down then, and it was rather awkward being in bed with her and all and telling her I don’t want to have sex with her (no, she wasn’t ugly, I just didn’t feel that chemistry I need to really want to sleep with someone). As for this one who is married, the only reason I moved on was that she was married. There really was no other issue. She was pretty and petite (I like petite) and very charming/gracious and she would make time to meet me and she showed enthusiasm for the relationship, so I had no reason to leave except that I just cannot have sex with a married woman. If she was magically not married, yes, I’d go back to her in a heartbeat.

  160. Anna Molly says:

    I’m off to bed as well, I’m tired! I’ll see y’all in the mornin’ :)

  161. NYCBella says:

    Everyone’s calling it a night…*shrug*
    Guess I’ll just watch the Jersey Shore finale (yes, I admit it) and enjoy some spinach dip and chips alone…sleep well sugarland…

  162. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    They did sign off at the same time :-)

    I’m off to rest up for my sugary evening. G’night all!

  163. Anna Molly says:

    OH MY!! Really! :)

  164. Muse says:

    AM – From what I can tell, Yaz is having a blogmance with NYGent.

  165. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Yikes *Awwww* and *have* Sorry for the type Os

  166. Anna Molly says:

    What is this about a blogmance?

  167. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Yaz and NYGent: wwww…who could it be? She’s going to have to be the BEST sb ever, otherwise we are going to half to set her straight :)

  168. Anna Molly says:

    Just dropping in for a quick hi before I go to bed :)

    HI :)

  169. Yaz says:

    Good night y’all :-)

  170. NYGent says:

    Yaz: *blushing* as I head off to sleap (and dreams of possibilities. Mrs. Tiger? Kate Beckinsale? Audrey Hepburn (ohh, she’s gone)

  171. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Ooooh a blogmance??

  172. NYCBella says:

    MMD~I’ll definitely agree (with my limited experiences thus far); also, I’ve noticed that the pot SD’s who are single have expressed that they’re interested in having more than one SB but prefer exclusivity on my part (same as IRL…guys I’ve dated have been ok with sampling the menu, but I get flack if I even peruse it).

    NYGent~Don’t forget about double standards in the entertainment industry (esp the music biz)…women have to be thin, beautiful and young as a general rule-unless you’re a character actor; whereas men aren’t held to quite the same standards (though I will admit that it is starting to change slightly)

    And, in general, the gender earning gap is quite significant.

  173. Yaz says:

    Oh and yeah she is a brunette lol

  174. Yaz says:

    Haha I got a crush on NYGent too because he is sooo cool lol but I know someone who has a HUGE crush on him…. lol

  175. NYGent says:

    Yaz: touche’. (!)

  176. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Aussie SB – where are you located?? I know an Aussie SD – I wonder if you are in the same neck of the woods?!

    NYGent and Yaz – lmao..

  177. Yaz says:

    LMAOOO nah not him….he’s not into lawyers LOL He prefers humanitarians… 😉

  178. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Yaz- Who doesn’t??? :) And all the other blog gents!

  179. NYGent says:

    Yaz: let me guess. Anderson Cooper.
    sorry but I prefer brunettes.

  180. Yaz says:

    NYGent~ I know someone who has a crush on you :-) Tee hee

  181. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    CA Dreamin – ABSOLUTELY true!

  182. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    NYGent – It was a while back, but many of the married SDs mentioned they prefer a single SB. It had less to do with exclusvity and more to do with feeling like their support is for the sb and her needs only…not another man’s. I see where they are going, and they all admit it’s a double standard. I believe some mentioned they were good with a bf if they know ahead of time, but would be disappointed if she found a bf during the arrangement.

    Be clear that I am not for/against this theory. Only answering NYGents questions ***walking on eggshells***

  183. CA Dreamin SB says:

    I’ll chime in on the double standard thing- DRY CLEANING

  184. 2Chic says:

    NYC… The book is about Tantra, soulful/spiritual sex.

  185. NYGent says:

    Midwest: agree with the first. not sure i follow the second — you mean in terms of demanding but not offering exclusivity? Not all married SDs demand exclusivity, though some do. Or maybe i’ve missed the point.

  186. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Aussie – Sending you and Kiki Sugar vibes ~*~*~*~*~*~
    Once your attitude changes, you will exude confidence and weed out the fakes. You will both be great!

  187. Aussie SB says:

    Hello SD’s and SB’s in Sugar land,
    Ive decided to put those past experiences behind me and great the day with new light and wonder.
    NC Gent- Not genuine ones :( Seems all the genuine ones are more your way.
    Kiki- Im trying to keep my hopes upbut its proving quite frustrating. and yes i read in another blog about men from all over giving pot SB the deep breathing over the phone treatment.

  188. ElegantSugar says:

    50 and older only for me! (Single) men in their 40s generally want marriage. 30-somethings are still going through their horrible Ed Hardy shirt wearing, fist pumping phase. 20-somethings have NO CLUE whatsoever about pleasing a woman sexually. My parents had 30+ years between them. So I guess that’s why I have never had an issue with dating an older man.

    Going out for sushi now. Have a wonderful night, Sugars!

  189. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    NYGent- You stole my answers!!

    Disclosure: This is not meant to apply to all people in all situations, so if you take offense, it is not because of me. :-)

    In reality the biggest double standard is that if a woman has sex with a man within the first date or two, she’s permiscuos….for a man, it’s expected.
    Another that exists in the sugar world are the married SDs who prefer single SBs.

  190. NYGent says:

    Midwest: what, in your opinion, are the biggest 2 or 3 double standards (besides inequality of restroom space and higher price for hair styling)(others free to answer as well).

  191. Gail says:

    NY Gent~Nope…I haven’t had my second…and I am not easy yet : ) But I do say Harrison Ford, Michael Douglas, and Warren Beatty sound delicious right now.

    I guess I’ll cook the steak that I marinated in the fridge this morning : )
    Later sugars!!!

  192. NYGent says:

    Midwest: who would that be? Judge Judy? Clarence Thomas?

  193. NYGent says:

    Gail: hmm. at the peak of happy hour in Cali, are we?

  194. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    NYGent – That’s one in a long list of double standards! I say do what makes you happy (within reason). There’s only one judge at the end of the day.

  195. Gail says:

    Demi…..ooops I meant MMD….lol….I forgot what I was going to say.

    Older men just know how to treat a woman. I am not into teaching the young ones where and how….whewwww….I am saying more than I usually do.

  196. NYGent says:

    Gail: Muse is right: if it never stops, it never starts either.

  197. NYGent says:

    actually i will admit there is a double standard. A Demi Moore who’s with Ashton K is viewed as robbing the cradle. Whereas an older man with a much younger woman is either viewed slyly as a Hugh Hefner type, or applauded for finally “settling down” (see Harrison Ford/Calista Flockhardt; Michael Douglas/Catherine Zeta J; Warren Beatty/Annette Bening)

  198. Muse says:

    Gail, does drinking ever *stop* in nyc? That’s the real question.

    MMD – You’ve had better luck than me then. I have to go up in age for skill.

  199. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Ewwwww….I didn’t need that visual! Then again, my son is MUCH younger.

    I have no regrets!

    I still PREFER mature, experienced men.

  200. Gail says:

    NYGent….It’s happy hour in Cali…. What time does drinking start in NYC? I have been there lots of times….didnt know there was a time period….lol

    MMD….I will NEVER play with a 20 year old….it would be like playing with my son….yuck…

    I like diamonds too, they are my birthstone…I just want one big one : )

  201. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    NYGent – Shhhhhh….our little secret!

    Muse – no fumbling…he was quite good…he will be GREAT by the time he grows up. Never as great as SD …*sigh*

  202. Muse says:

    Gail – You are clearly a woman with excellent taste. Men over 30 are ok, but 40 plus are best.

  203. Muse says:

    MMD – If I don’t have the patience for their fumbling now, I doubt I will when I’m in my 40s. I’d much rather have a man who knows what he is doing!

    NYGent – Maybe if I wait 30, I can go right to being a Jaguar instead.

    I love pearls….*dreamy sigh*

  204. NYGent says:

    Midwest: NOW the truth starts coming out. You’ve tantalized us, Miss Demi Moore.

  205. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Gail – That’s me! NYC SB is also a fan of pearls. I do believe she is becoming quite accustomed to diamonds after this Christmas. (and ShamWows)

    Muse – Not all 20+ young men are all bad…strictly for play though!

    I won’t go there again, but it was fun.

  206. NYGent says:

    Gail: drinking hour hasn’t even started in NY yet!

  207. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Gail That pic was on my old computer, so I can’t get it on here. Percy will suck your soul away with his pumpkin pie colored eyes. lol

  208. Gail says:

    Evening NYGent : ) What are we drinking tonite?

  209. NYGent says:

    Muse: wait about 20 years, then you can be a cougar and go for 20 y.o. men (!)

  210. Gail says:

    It’s working MMD…thats right, I remember now….you love pearls.

    Muse…I have never dated a 20 year old man….50 or over for me. I tend to fall for their sexy brains. I just love intelligence and gentlemen.

    Lisa…put your pic up with the fiery eyes…please!!!

  211. Muse says:

    NYGent – Ew. 20 year old men? I haven’t dated them since I was 16. I wouldn’t mind finding a sexy, older man though.

  212. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    I forgot to change my e-mail on the grav site. Lets see if it works now.

  213. Gail says:

    LOL….I have no eyes…just hair : )

    You can add your pic by going to w w w gravatar dot com : ) and you can change it to anything you want…like Lisa and her bird : )

  214. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Look! I see Gail

  215. Gail says:

    Lol @ MMD…..now I am blushing : ) Elegant at one time or another we all had our avatars up on the blog…but we took them off. I just added mine again…so that you can see me for a minute.

  216. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Gail – I promise not to take advantage of you…really!!

  217. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    It’s Percy’s head. The rest of the pic is cut off but he has a little facecloth wrapped around him after his bath.

  218. ElegantSugar says:

    Ha ha ha @ Gail!!!

  219. Gail says:

    Bacardi light…straight up…coke back….limit of two : ) Anything after that I am an easy woman : )

  220. ElegantSugar says:

    Glad you are feeling better, Lisa! BTW, what is your little avatar photo of? I keep thinking it’s a bird’s head. Is it? And why do only some people have little avatars?

  221. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    It was definately the shrimp, blah I still have more in my fridge that I must get to the trash tomorrow. Looking at it makes me sick.

    I feel so cooped up today

  222. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Lisa – Ugh – being sick from seafood is awful! Good news is you should recover quickly.

    Gail – Great advice! He does make the moments special. BTW: No more lemon slices for you! Bacardi all the way! Regular, spiced or dark?

  223. Gail says:

    Lisa….I get allergic to shellfish at times…it depends on how fresh it. In fact on Mothers day after going to have a wonderful seafood lunch…I got a headache, fever, hot and cold flashes, throwing up…it was the crab that I ate. But I didn’t figure it out till the day after. I am glad you are feeling better!!!

  224. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    It seems I no longer tolerate non-fish seafood very well. The shrimp is what made me sick. :(

  225. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Hi Gail

    I was feeling better this afternoon but I made the mistake of eating and now I feel bad again. Not as bad as I did feel as I can tolerate coffee now :). I am glad I stayed home today but I know I pay for it on saturday.

    And I agree not all sb testimonies are made up :)

  226. Gail says:

    MMD….lol….yes you must have been there too….you know what I am talking about. I was just going to ask to be served up a shot of bacardi and then pow…..lol…..I only got a lemon slice : (

    Have fun with your fella MMD on Friday nite….and do everything to make it last forever….if you can….so that it feels like Saturday nite…okay now….I will leave you alone!!!!

  227. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    I’m sensing a blonde moment…:-) By me!

  228. ElegantSugar says:

    While doing research for a project I’m working on, I came across this article about a NY SD. It’s also about Tiger Woods, but the NY SD part is pretty interesting!

  229. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Gail – Too funny…no cover ups dear! When all else fails, take a deep breath and have a cocktail :)

    I have sugar plans for Friday night, but none for Sat night…too bad I’m not closer to DC.

    VC – Glad to see you back!

  230. Gail says:

    [email protected] Elegant…..no ,I don’t : ) but next time I travel and see that…I will chuckle and think of you.

    WELCOME BACK FLO : ) CLAP!!! CLAP!!! CLAP!!!…I see that you are back 500% better than before….blog on and keep spreading the smiles!!!

    I was reading the earlier post. Really… people think that some SB experiences are exaggerated. Sometimes I think that I am dreaming then I pinched myself and find that I am awake…yes fairy tales and wishes do come true in the sugarworld. I don’t care what others think…but I do care about my happiness and the happiness of others. Also…I hate it when people are treated or judged unfairly.

    ESB…awwwwww. Loved your story… I volunteer with older people…I enjoy hearing their stories and their wisdom.

    ESB, VA SB, & DCSB and anyone else meeting up….Have a wonderful time this weekend. I wish I could be there to meet all of you…I know that I am going to miss all the FUN!!!!

    Welcome back VC…I have missed you…hope you stay awhile. I was wondering where you have been : ) And greetings to all the new SBs.

    Sincere!!!! I miss everyone one in our Sugarworld…it was such a great place to be. I remember, SE.s long legs, Yaz’s booty-licious, BB’s boobs, KL’s lucious lips, and SV’s Red Rock….lol…lol…again!!!!

    I was looking for a post from the other nite and it disappeared…… It was when a SB and a SD started having cocktails : ) Hmmmmmm….
    I suspect a cover up…..lol….no I am not watching too many mystery movies: )

    Poor Lisa……I hope you get better….there is a horrible flu going around.
    I hope Percy is taking great care of you: )

  231. NYGent says:

    Midwest: i’ve seen both the movie and play 39 steps. Both great.

    NYSB/muse: well you’d better watch it, if you strike gold on this new venture you may have to retire as SBs and become SMs (for 20 y.o. guys?)

  232. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Elegant – That’s HILARIOUS!

    If anyone cares, “How to Marry a Millionaire” (Marilyn Monroe) is on Retroplex.

    NYGent & AM- did you happen to see 39 steps?

  233. ElegantSugar says:

    YES! It actually happened a few times before I even became a bona fide SB. The funniest story though was when a much, much older gentleman sitting by us at an outdoor bar started talking to me when my SD went into the restroom. When he came back, the guy said, “You came back too soon, I was trying to be her new Sugar Daddy!!” I know that term has been around waaaaay longer than this web site, but it was funny because it was hard to tell if the guy was really joking or not. All we could do was laugh!!

  234. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Elegant – Of course you wouldn’t. I have only been in the sugar bowl a short time, but I will say the minute I entered it my “sugar was showing”. I had a few men IRL approach me in a sugary way. I was still so green, I was a bit overwhelmed. Has that ever happened to you?

  235. ElegantSugar says:

    Midwest – yes, it’s great! The only thing about Vegas though is that you see the escorts hitting on the older men so it’s hard to tell sometimes what’s a real relationship. Oh, and I would NEVER seriously run up and hug them, I just do it in my mind! Silly, I know!

  236. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    BTW – There must be great “people watching” in the casino! I could walk around with a cocktail and just enjoy observing.

  237. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Elegant – I find myself observing couples more and more these days! I don’t think I would run up and hug them, but every once in a while I smile. I will say that I don’t notice people observing SD and I this way, but he does look younger than his age.

  238. ElegantSugar says:

    Yes, CA Dreamin, very quiet! I am ‘camping out’ in my hotel room since it is cold and rainy out. I don’t want to go back to the casino and lose again either.

    I have a silly comment/question. When I’m traveling and I see a couple where the gentleman is much older and the lady on his arm is young and extremely attractive, I always think they are a SD/SB couple and wonder if they met here and then further wonder if one (or both) are bloggers here. A part of me wants to run up, introduce myself and hug them!! Isn’t that silly? Do any of you other travelers think that too?

  239. VA SB says:

    I would go to a NY meet – it would be a lotof fun and I haven’t been there in about two years…

    I’d love to join…


  240. CA Dreamin SB says:

    ElegantSugar – pretty quiet hmm? :)

  241. ElegantSugar says:


  242. ElegantSugar says:

    DC SB: It’s too rainy and cold here to ride the roller coasters! :( ( I love roller coasters though!!)

  243. ElegantSugar says:

    IRLSD: Both of my past SDs said once they move on and relationship ends, they never look back. I have wondered since if other SDs follow that as well. If not for the ‘married’ thing, would you consider taking her back?

  244. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    OC Sugarbaby – you have mail :-)

  245. IRLSD says:

    Flo Rida, lol! I decided last night that it’s time to start fresh. But just as I got rid of one SB, an old one is now asking for me back. The guy who paid her $15K for one weekend is not working out as planned. In my experience, they always come back. Something about me—I wish I knew what it was. I don’t think I’m particularly good looking or tall or muscular or whatever. It’s easier to just assume it’s the money. But in her case I just can’t—she’s married and I know it’s hypocritical but it’s just not for me.

    ElegantSugar, yeah the options analogy is not so bad. Unfortunately, just as with my IRL stock options, most of my SB options expire worthless, lol. I need to change that.

    The other day I was talking to an employee of mine who lives in the country and I asked her what would happen if I lived there. I’d soon have dated every woman in my age range who is attractive and be done with the whole town. She laughed and said, “Well, there is the next town over.” Now I am starting to feel like I have more or less dated everyone attractive in my age range who is local on SA. Should I be looking at other sugar daddy dating sites too?

  246. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Evening sugars!

    Welcome SanDiego SB! Hope you find sugar soon!

    NYC SB – Am I going to have to relocate :-)

    Flo Rida – Amazing suggestions…I can see I have soooooooo much to learn. Experiences will trump material gifts every time.

    ESB – You have such a good soul! Thank you for taking the time to take care of this gentleman.

  247. ElegantSugar says:

    NYC BELLA: “Oh Yeah!”

  248. ElegantSugar says:

    The French Laundry is an amazing dining experience as well!!! I LOVE FOOD & WINE!! I will take those experiences over handbags and shoes!

  249. ElegantSugar says:

    ESB: Sweet story. If you genuinely enjoy being around this man, definitely be his friend. Your friendship will be worth more than anything money can buy. If he is able to assist you in some way without putting his financial needs in jeapordy, then let him. If you get back up on your feet during the friendship, then offer to buy him lunch. I guarantee you a refrigerator picture from your daughter will give him a permanent smile!

    Flo Rida: I enjoy your posts so very much. A wealth of knowledge! Having already dined at 2 of the top 10 restaurants in the world (Per Se, NYC and 7 Bras, France), I am DYING for the El Bulli experience. We (my last SD and I) called last October for 2010 reservations. They are only opened from May through September and begin taking reservations for the season in October. IF we hit the reservation lottery and they call, he said he will still take me. *fingers crossed*

    IRLSD: LOVED your stock options comment! Very funny. Sounds like your SBs should come with a disclaimer tattoo: Options (SBs) involve risks and are not suitable for everyone. Option (SB) trading can be speculative in nature and carry substantial risk of loss. Ha ha! Laughing WITH you, not AT you, my dear! :)

    Cleo: “Hottie McHottie”! I LOVE it!

    Lisa: Your Sugar Fam is all pulling for you to get better. You know if we were physically around you, everyone would be waiting on you hand and foot. Get better sweetie!

    Welcome SanDiego SB and any other new bloggers!!

    If there is ever a SD/SB meet in NYC, please keep me informed as I spend quite a bit of time up there too.

    Still raining in LV. Won $200 on Blackjack, lost $50 on Progressive Wheel of Fortune. No shopping yet. Not in the mood.

    Confession time: I think I’m already smitten over pot SD#4 and we have only talked on the phone (almost every day since we ‘met’ online). I have been thinking about him quite a bit. It is making it tough to enjoy my time here with pot SD#3. #4 coming along was SO unexpected! He contacted me just when I thought I was going to choose from 3 and we hit it off like we’ve known each other for such a long time!! He is flying to my city to have dinner next week and I am very excited about it. Has anyone ever had that happen to them? Already have a few you are trying to narrow down to one and then BAM…Mr. Perfect seems to come along???

  250. Pazaz says:

    ahhh any SDs in NYC lol -sighs-

  251. Muse says:

    NYC SB – As you were typing that, I typed you an email.

    cleo- That’s because you’re a wise woman.

  252. cleo says:

    nycsb/muse i was already going to do it but i didn’t want to bias her answer :)

    i try to live by that rule as well :)

  253. NYC SB says:

    Muse – I dont have ur email on my blackberry… just shot an email to CB… and I might have found the bankroll for it already… today is one of those days where everything alligns…

  254. Muse says:

    NYC Bella – YAY! Congratulations.

    NYC SB – I’m serious too. I’m definitely up for meeting next week to plan this.

    cleo- I agree with NYC SB. It never hurts to try, especially since you’ll lose nothing to do so.

  255. Cali SB says:

    Supposedly today is the worst of all the storms so far in LA, but it seems to be the weakest to me. Barely any rain accumulating on the ground. Thank god, since yesterday I wasn’t able to leave during the day because the driveway got flooded from the garage. I’d be screwed if that happened today since I have traffic court (it’s silly I have to drive half an hour away just to say I want a trial and then go back later at a date). No time to catch up now.. will do later.

  256. NYCBella says:

    Ahhh….I posted too soon. Thank ya! :)

  257. NYCBella says:




    Going to uncross my eyes now and step away from my laptop. TTYL! :)

  258. NYC SB says:

    Cleo – On the skype thing… it doesnt hurt to try… if it takes off than awesome… if there is no interest than you are back at status quo… and as my very good friend (Harvard MD) says “When your worst outcome is status quo then its time to jump on the oportunity”

    NYCBella – Bravo!

  259. VillaCypris says:

    cleo – perhaps, if they were geographically distant from a live therapist… didn’t want to drive, even if geographically close… were motivated enough to do the exercises on their own without having the therapist physically present…. you should try! :)

  260. NYCBella says:

    NYC SB~Count me in! Will be lots of fun.

    On another note…I’m doing a little happy dance. Along the way in undergrad, I picked up graphic design skills (amazing how marketing/advertising classes can come in handy…esp on the business side of promoting oneself as an actor, oh, and for random “day jobs”)…anywho, I’ve designed several websites with my now ex bf. He did all the programming. So, my sites have been sitting un-updated for the past 5 months or so, as I didn’t know programming…but (drum role please…) I’ve officially finished successfully updating the html codes and programming for my first site!!! Holla!!! Can I get an “Oh yeah!!!” 😉

  261. cleo says:

    villa i’m thinking of starting to work over skype… do you think people would pay for that?

  262. cleo says:

    nyc sb this dinner date night or whatever you’re planning to start with sd’s and sb’s? have a scholarship fund and fly in one or two out of town girls to each meet. i’m sure someone would find that fun.

    either way i want to come if you ever have someone who might find me a hottie mchottie :)

  263. NYC SB says:

    Muse – you, me and CB can get together next week (or whenever) and talk about this… im pretty serious in making it happen

  264. VillaCypris says:

    Hi Cleo! Thanks, good to see you as well…. wish I was closer, you could teach me some PT moves! :)

  265. cleo says:

    NYC SB: what muse said *g*

  266. SanDiego sb says:

    ohh ok thank you nyc!

  267. cleo says:

    hey villa nice to see you!

  268. Muse says:

    NYC SB – Sorry. Didn’t mean to force you to share your business idea. I was at the other end of the table and missed out on talking to you until much later. That said, if there is ever a business you’re starting up that you want a partner for, I’m in. I don’t care what it is. Everything you touch turns to gold.

    Flo – I’ve actually seen a test match between Pakistan and India and I have to agree with you. It’s an experience.

  269. VillaCypris says:

    Well, I see I’ve been mentioned by some of my favourite bloggers/IRL friends…. so HELLO!!!!!!!!! 😀

    Happy belated 2010 to those I “know” and the new bloggers whom I do not… welcome….

    NEOhio – happy to second the fantastic lingerie which is la perla…. and also the superlative quality of Hermès. I once had three Kelly bags, a 35cm black box calf, a 35cm brown crocodile, and a 20cm black box calf “mini kelly”…. but sold them to help pay for my year in Monte Carlo… figured I can always buy more bags, but could not replicate the time nor experiences!

    Yep, my birthday is coming up…. but I’ve just returned from the ortho, my wrist is healing nicely, just need to work on getting the range of motion back…

    Flo – happy you have returned to the blog! 😉 one of my friends is setting up a wine fund to buy/invest in bordeaux vineyards, one is in margaux! yuMMMM!!

    NYCSB – thank you… I consider you an amazing friend as well and am thrilled that we connected via this site!!!

  270. sb-emy says:

    nc gent; apparently not, he had made it clear earlier in the day that the second meeting (at his place) would not involve physical intimacy..

    which doesn’t help, – I am usually randy as hell on my rags.

  271. NYGent says:

    SanDiego: it was FantasticBlonde, on Jan. 9-10, a newbie from San Diego too, and she posted her profile # if you want to get in touch.

  272. 2Chic says:

    Hi Fam,

    Flo..for some reason I picture you as this worldly undercover socialite. Sitting on a couch audibly participating in the blog, while your assistant reads, and post for you.

    You share such in depth knowledge.

    Oh I love my Suga Fam!

  273. SanDiego sb says:

    thank you hun, yea im just looking for others and theyre stories, especially the ones in san diego, cause the men here are wayyyy different than the ones in orange county or LA and not in a good way

  274. Happy Lurker says:

    Hi ESB,
    You understand the meaning of life and I hope you can transfer that over time to Baby Girl. Please adopt granddad, as everything is for a meaning.
    When we come into this world, we are alone and when we leave this world we are alone.
    After we come into this world there is affectionate tenderness, but as we grow older the well of love dries up.
    In meeting the other and reaching out, lies your purpose in being here.
    It is all an act of kindness. Even in a succesful arrangement you are seeking here, it comes down to the act of kindness.
    Very appropriate that the theme of this thread is gratitude.
    COD being thankful, appreciation of and inclination to return kindness.
    Interpreting your Karma you will read that when you have attained such ripe old age, someone will step forward and return the kindness you now offer granddad.
    May the torch of kindness light your path.

  275. NYGent says:

    Welcome SanDiegoSB. If you’re looking for company i think there was an SB (or maybe it was an SD?) from San Diego who came on the blog briefly within the last month or so. does anyone remember? Another way to find out that (or other info) if you’re interested is to go back through blogs and search (using “find on this page” in edit mode, or Control +F (“Control Find”), and plug in a key word. unfortunately you have to search blog by blog, there is no “archive” search available as of yet.

  276. NEOhio SB says:

    Welcome SanDiegoSB ~~ The blog is a great Sugar Family and everyone shares their insight, dilemas and experience here….you are always welcome to give you 2 cents or ask any questions and anyone will be happy to help you.

  277. SanDiego sb says:

    awww well im glad someone had a nice one lol. im still searching for my sd. i know hes out there.

  278. NC Gent says:

    Welcome to the blog SanDiego SB — I had a very nice sugar date at Mission Beach about a year ago :)

  279. SanDiego sb says:

    hey everyone im starting to use the blogs more to be involved. im loving reading all of it

  280. NEOhio SB says:

    Flo ~~ Your list of comments is fantastic. I have to smile at the Birkin bag….actually received one of those dating my EX before I got married…you are absolutely correct…it puts all the gucci, dior, chanel, LV to shame with the quality….just like La Perla does to VS….okay Villa C…where are you to second this??? Assuming getting ready for your Bday????

  281. NYGent says:

    On SBnextdoor’s question about how SDs become “hip” to the culture, I recommend the SA book that is advertised on the site. Quite helpful for SDs and SBs alike.

  282. NYGent says:

    You’re right Flo — you can’t make this s**t up!

  283. Yaz says:

    Wow thanks for the suggestions Flo! lol :-)
    Have you been to the Playboy Mansion before???? I would love to visit it!!

  284. cleo says:

    Flo Rida: that whole list sounds awesome, i see i need to raise my standards *g*

  285. cleo says:

    blogsona… hee

    you’re not the only one laughing if that helps :)

  286. Flo Rida says:

    ESB – sweet story, if he has LOTS of money tell him to leave his money to his grandson or greatgrandson – skips a level of estate taxes (but that only applies to the superwealthy). I LOVE telling and listening to stories.

    NYC – SB – if you’ll allow me the correct pronoun is ‘coming your way’ or ‘coming ESB’s way’ (skipping the he-she).

    All – Things to do with a super wealthy SD

    1 – Go to Asia and have a tailor made wardrobe in silk
    2 – Buy a Birkin or Kelly bag (it’ll be the only HB you’ll ever fall in love with)
    3 – Go to Jo-burg or Rotterdam and buy a diamond (it used to be Hong Kong)
    4 – Only if you’re a foodie – dine at El Bulli in Spain (you’ll need to know a top chef to jump the waiting list) and then drink at Sketch bar in London (my favorite bar restaurant in whole world)
    5 – Only if you’re an oenophile (I am!) drink 1990 Margaux Margaux or a vintage year of Chateau Petrus
    6 – If you love sports watch a Test Match between Pakistan and India – I guarantee you no other sports occassion beats the intensity of these fans – none anywhere in the world
    7 – Attend a party at the Playboy mansion before Hefner dies (but maybe not a good idea unless SD is 100percent committed to you – too much alternative talent
    8 – Do something together on his bucket list
    9 – Do something together on your bucket list
    10 – Plant two trees side by side and name them and watch them grow as a symbol of SB-SD togetherness and go back there each year (unless you date IRLSD – joking!)

    IRLSD – you bring a whole new meaning to NEXT!

  287. Yaz says:

    NYCSB~ Nope…..I searched the archives myself but its all gone….Its been a while..

  288. NYC SB says:

    or rather blogsona


    I am cracking myself up these days

  289. NYC SB says:

    is there a blog in the archive where the almighty SD Sam has written on? I would like to see some of his blogonality

  290. NYC SB says:

    Pazaz – It is hard to find a drop dead gorgeous millionarie who is willing to spoil. However this does not mean he is not out there… hang in there… having standards is a good thing however it does prolong the amount of time you are searching :)

  291. Yaz says:

    Hi Sincere! :-)

    The girls are alll doing well! I talk to them regularly through FB and on the phone. :-)

    I know KL definitely misses you 😉

  292. Pazaz says:

    geez tux guy emailed me too,not my type at all. maybe i am being too picky thats y i cant find anyone here? lol

  293. SincereSD says:

    Hello fellow SD and SB,

    Welcome back Flo. Hope you get better soon Lisa.

    Midwest says: Vegas meet ladies – I would *LOVE* to hear about the trip and a bit more about Sam. He hasn’t been on since I joined and it all sounds perfectly wonderful!

    MW, Sam was definitely an interesting and unique individual. We used to have some simulating and lively banter. My inspiration for the “Carpet Bombing Strategy” came from his “Project Approach”.

    Yaz says: The other girls who went on the trip with us do not blog anymore, just Gail and I.

    Definitely miss the old crew … KL, SE, SV, BB :'(

  294. DC SB says:

    NYC SB you should definitely do it. & keep me updated. I would definitely make the trip up just to meet some NYC SDs. :) Speed dating would be cute, especially for the shy-er SDs, whereas if you throw tons of SBs and SDs into a room with alcohol the more outgoing types might take over the little wall flowers, aw.

    ESB I hope we have a fourth! I guess it’s just holding our breath and hoping she emails VA! :) That’d be even more fun! If I haven’t already said this via email, I am SO excited. I can’t wait to get into some mischief with you ladies and maybe we can run into some lucky SDs out on the town :)

  295. NYC SB says:

    IRLSD – thanks for the analogy… love the trading reference hahaha… and thats a great ROI! Just goes to show that sometimes it takes money to make money….

  296. IRLSD says:

    ESB, there are other pots. But none that I am particularly excited about at the moment. I think I’ll take a few quiet days and when my sugar seeking desire surges again, I might go for the IRL sugar pick-ups again.

  297. IRLSD says:

    NYC SB, yeah, it is tough. I hate this part of things. One of the worst things of sugar relationships is that it feels like owning stock options–there is a monetary value to time. In a normal relationship, I’d let things play out, but when I am paying a monthly allowance and things feel like they are fizzling out, I need to set things straight one way or another before the start of the new month.

    Speaking of options, I invested $170 in stock options back in May and now they’re worth $75,000. That’s the kind of return I was hoping for in sugar dating, lol.

  298. ESB says:

    OK, now I gotta go get Baby Girl so I can take her to the “Torture Chamber” She gets her braces today!! WEeeeee… she is so excited, but I’m so not looking forward to her pain tonight!! Wish us luck!

    I’ll be back, unless she needs mommy to snuggle with and whine to… wish I could post pix on the blog. She is just soo cute!! 😛

  299. ESB says:

    IRLSD: So, the search continues!! Aww.. darlin, you have more women crawling over you than anyone I’ve (n)ever met!! I’m sure you’ll have a new one, or 3, in no time… I’d really like to see your profile. Wanna know what you look like to have such luck!!

  300. ESB says:

    Part of what I do is look at policies, see if we can do something with thier cash value in life insurance, put it somewhere safe, with higher interests rates… he’s loaded!! I can’t do anything with out a co-signer due to his age, but at this point in his life, there is really nothing I can do anyway.

    No, his money means nothing to him. He said it is all going to his one son, his one grandson, and one great grandson. He has no bills, other than utilities and insurance. He can’t take it with him, it won’t bring his wife back, and it don’t talk to him. He has everything he wants, so he spends it going to nice places to eat, with the hopes of running into someone to spend some time with. Sweet old guy, and Yes, Lisa, I’m sure he has told the same stories to everyone a thousand times, but I miss that about my grandfather. We would giggle behind his back about it, but I’d give my shoe closet for him to tell them to me again. Some things money can’t buy.

    So, it’s the Fishermans Inn for late lunch on Sun. Should be fun. They have some of the best crab cakes on the shore!! Can’t wait, and although she is to young to appreciate an old mans stories, Baby Girl will be accompanying us!! She’s gonna hate me for that, but it’s good for her!! 😉

  301. NYC SB says:

    IRLSD – tough love time huh?

  302. NYC SB says:

    ESB – such sweet stories… good karma is surely on its way (her/his way? idk what the proper pronoun is)…

  303. IRLSD says:

    Well, I decided yesterday that it’s time for me to get rid of all three of my current SBs:

    SB1: We hit it off well on Christmas day and saw each other two days in a row, but since then I’ve seen her once. She kept checking her SA account, so I kept doing the same and it doomed things. I cancelled with her several times (for other SBs), she cancelled with me several times (the excuse was always her BF but I suspect other SDs may have been at play), and so we’ve seen each other just once in the last three weeks. I’d actually confront her about it and suggest we get more serious, but since she doesn’t want to go on the pill and I don’t trust condoms alone, it’s better for me to just move on.

    SB2: She has so many other pots and it feels like sugar limbo. Plus she cancelled dinner tonight, so I pretty much told her it’s over.

    SB3: Webcam SB–she has told me so many lies that I told her I don’t believe anything she tells me. She cried and sobbed saying that she thought things were going well and the fact that I am unhappy feels like such a slap in the face, etc, etc. Actually, I felt bad and told her I’d give her a couple more months, but that if I don’t meet her on spring break, it’s over.

  304. Niki says:

    ESB–You are so sweet…you can either do what SDN said and accept graciously or follow NYC Bella’s idea of politely declining. If he insists on wanting to do something, you can tell him that his company/stories are enough, but if he wants there are several charities that could use help.

  305. NYC SB says:

    DC – there are some such mixers in NYC… I was telling the NYC meet up group that this will be my new project… i think its an awesome idea… I was going among the lines or matchmaking or speed dating…

  306. ESB says:

    Lisa, I doubt that ever even entered his mind.. but I tend to be nieve, so who knows? There is an ethics problem I need to deal with, but since I didn’t actually make him a client/customer, I think I should be OK. No lines were crossed.

    I adopted a lady a few years ago, (gonna make you all cry again). She was at the McD’s in Wal Mart. All alone. My kids were small then, so we went in for fries and drinks. She sat there with her cart the whole time. I was done shoping, she was still there, so we went and asked her if she was waiting for a ride. She was, so I offered her one, and she gave each of my kids a teddy bear when we got to her house. She had HUNDREDS!!I promised we would all come back the next weekend for lunch. When I did, there were cars everywhere out side… she died that week!! Everyone there had adopted her at some point. We all called her Aunt Betty!! Nice to know some people have such full lives. She had no family, never married. Wish I got to know her better.. ok, enough sad stories…

    So, we have a 4th for Sat. night?? Please!! :)

  307. NEOhio SB says:

    ESB ~~ You are sooo right. He is the type of man who probably has thousands of dollars of cash under his mattress…but to him, what is priceless and missing in his life is just someone to talk to, someone to listen…as they love to repeat their life stories. Very touching story…and just being there for him…will mean the world to him.

  308. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    oh God, war stories. There is an old man that I run into every morning on the bus when i’m going to work and sometimes at the mall that is always telling me graphic Vietnam war stories. He knows my parents and does the same thing to them. Gee but he never offers me anything, lol

  309. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    You have to watch with elderly people though sometimes as they lose count of what they have. When my grandma came to live with us (this was way back in the mid 70’s) she was 84 and like many old ladies, carried her social security money around in her purse and was always giving away her money. She would hand me or a neighbor kid 20 dollars to go buy ice cream, etc. She didn’t have any expenses because she lived with us but you have to be careful if they are living alone as they might run out of money for their bills.

  310. DC SB says:

    ESB: I would say what everyone else has ^^ Be his friend, and if he offers to help you out then let him. Maybe not cash.. but if he hears that you got a flat tire and he’d like to buy you a new set, then consider it like, you’re giving him companionship and being a good friend to him, he wants to repay you with that same kindness.

  311. ESB says:

    That was pretty much what I thought. He was telling me war stories, and how he raced his son’s car while he was in Korea… very interesting man. Yea, I’ll just be his friend. It just wouldn’t be right to take his money. (you all passed that test very well!!) I have no grandparents. Mine have all passed. I miss them all terribly. Will be nice to have that kind of relationship again. For those of you who still do have your grandparents… spend time with them. You’ll be glad you did when they are gone.

  312. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I have a friend who has an elderly man neighbor who is always giving her money every now and then, birthday, Christmas, etc, he’ll give her 100 dollars and just wants her to come up and chat and have coffee with him or help him with something him fill out a form, etc. He’s just a poor guy too living in a one room apartment but I guess he has very few expenses and some disposable income.

  313. NEOhio SB says:

    SDN ~~ Awww…you ARE the blog McSugardaddy.

    Lisa ~ LMAO> You always have the best humor….didn’t think ESB was wanting to hear that reply….although he is def. elegible for medicare pharmaceutical discounts…maybe he already has the viagra.

    Flo ~~ You are more than welcome.

    ESB ~~ Brought tears to my eyes….I am such a softie for the elderly who have no one. Companionship and someone to talk to and listen, means the world to them. Would be hard for me to ever ever accept money for being a friend like that, but i am sure he will wine and dine you, maybe even buy some nice gifts in appreciation. Thats about as far as I would be able to take it.

  314. DC SB says:

    Muse – then you’ve gotten my hopes up and I can officially spend the rest of my working day, researching these secret SD/SB club mixers.. exploring mischief, my favorite hobby. :)

    VA – if I find anything from said ^^ then we all must go, if not, new business plan? NYC SB can be my partner. Haha 😀 Then we’ll get our own reality show (duh) and be way better than millionaire matchmaker and real housewives of (everymajorcityintheUSA) ten fold. And cuter. And younger.

    Bella – Please send the happy vibes my way. Even when I have a bf, SO, ANYthing, I never do anything on Vday. :( but! 2010 is a whole new decade.. so cheers to hoping :)

    Elegant I love Vegas. You’ll have to ride a rollercoast or two for me (New York New York is one of my favorites!)!! & I’ve had some delish pina coladas at the Flamingo (surprisingly). I’m so jealous!

  315. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    ESB: That is a very touching story. You have a very big heart. Be his friend, bring some joy in to his life and hopefully you and your daughter will get some in return. As CA Dreamin said you will get good karma. If he wants to pay for lunch or give you or your daughter a gift, take it graciously and say thank you.

    Taz: McSugar Daddy made Gemini go running away :(
    Plus Fred Flintsone has a great tag line.

  316. NYCBella says:

    ESB~That is a sweet story. If my grandfather were still alive and alone I’d be so comforted knowing that he has people looking after him. I think that’s one of my fears about growing old (if it were to be alone). I know what you mean…I’d feel totally guilty taking his $$$ too. But look at it this way…politely decline if that’s what your instincts are telling you, enjoy his company, and karma will have a way of looking out for you in the future as well.

    Flo~now I’m gonna have to get flash cards and start taking notes. That’s such a good suggestion. Esp when the moments of awkward silence can undoubtedly creep in because of a difference in generation or life experience.

    Elegant~shopping sounds like such a good idea for a rainy day (I miss shopping…it’s been too long…lol). Well, unless a run to the Duane Reade (that’s NYCs version of the pharmacy ala Starbucks style…panties optional) or grocery store count. 😉

  317. NC Gent says:

    ESB — hang out with him, and I bet he will just give you a little bit here and there. I am guessing money is just about meaningless to him at this point in his life, as long as he has enough to meet his basic needs. Nothing wrong with it and it will probably make him feel better. I would decline a steady allowance if I were you though. MHO.

  318. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    ESB oh no, please take my advice, he is too old, lol better keep the viagra way from him or he’ll die, lol

  319. VA SB says:

    ESB – chica, just be his friend….I mean, I like hanging out with “older” people because they bring so much to the conversation and they’ve lived a life much longer than mind. He’s probably happy just to have someone to talk to and spend time with. It probably makes him feel “needed” to have a friend.

    If you don’t want to go there with payments and such, just let him know that you’re more than happy to just be his friend. He may still want to treat you to lunch or buy you a gift or two, but in the end, the value of spending time with you may be a wonderful experience for him.

    (sniff, sniff) Plus, I “truly” am a softie – I want to just give him a big ol’ hug and squeeze…..


  320. CA Dreamin SB says:

    ESB – What a wonderful story. Personally, if you have the time to go have lunch with him once or twice a week – just do it. It’s good karma. Tell him you just want to be his friend and he doesn’t have to pay you.

  321. VA SB says:

    Flo Rida – I think I’m gonna like you! :-) A woman after my own heart … you got spunk lady….

  322. ESB says:

    Gotta share this. I met this SWEET older man this morning. I sell insurance, Medicare Supplements, Life, Annuities, Long Term Care. I get to meet some INTERESTING people!

    Anyway, my lead sheet said he was 67. As soon as he answered the door, I knew that was wrong. He was 90. OMG, he absolutely broke my heart. He is lonely, his wife died last May. We talked, and chatted, and told our stories. He offered me his whole upstairs to live in with my daughter, he just wants someone to keep him company. I told him I couldn’t do that, for many reasons, but I did tell him I’m adopting him! I have a new PopPop. I’m taking him to a late lunch on Sun. He said I could drive, but he is gonig to pay, and please bring my daughter. He gave me a hug when I left, and said he can’t wait ’til Sun. I almost cried. I feel so bad for people like him. Because of his age, he has no one. OK, so here’s the scarey part… he offered to pay me to be his friend. I know I am here looking for just that, but I just CAN’T!! Any suggestions/ opinions on this? He has money, but I just feel wrong about it. Like I’d be taking advantage of him somehow, and I don’t want that. I just want to be his friend, and help him not be so lonely, but at the same time.. I could use some help.

  323. Flo Rida says:

    DC (different from DC SB) – keep it real darling
    NeOhio – JSO – thanks! Sorry if I missed anyone!
    NYCBella – ESB – The answers are (lines of latitude, longitude) Alaska (northern), Alaska (eastern), Alaska (western) and Hawaii (southern). Most people guess incorrectly Florida, Texas for Southern, Maine for Eastern. The trick is that Alaska crosses the international date line because of the Aleutian islands. I think Japan invaded the Aleutian islands in WWII. An old friend who went to Westminster school and Christchurch college Oxford in England also a rowing blue told me this.

    In terms of temperature, location and date. First answer is -40 F and -40 C (the conversion is subtract 32 and multiply by 5/9), the South pole (which is colder than the North Pole) and the coldest day of the year is June 23 (remember the northern hemisphere summer is the southern hemisphere winter). This is an old interview question Enron asked. I was told this by someone who interviewed for and worked for Lou Pie (spelling) who is now the largest landowner in Colorado(?). Lou that is not the person I knew who hasn’t worked since he left Enron.

    Second answer is -40 anywhere 20,000 ft in the atmosphere.

    Both are great stories to tell any SD (including a story about who told you the story). Storytelling is a great art to a SB’s arsenal and signals intelligence, wit, humor, fun and connections. Try it it works.

    Cali SB – i’m truly very sorry for all past, present and future misdemeanours.

    All of the above is true. All that follows is a lie. Yes I really do work at Hertz!

  324. NYC SB says:

    ElegantSugar – raining in vegas can mean only one thing… SHOPPING! lol
    You are right… while chemistry might be there right off the bat with some pot it doesnt mean that he will make a great SD… sometimes first date jitters can attribute to lack of chemistry IMHO… glad you are having fun though!

  325. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    ESB I don’t get paid for today but I really don’t care as I feel so lousy and just got out of bed again. I feel ok for a few minutes and then I feel drained again. I did manage to eat some oatmeal and a little fruit though. I’m off tomorrow so i’ve got more time to recover. Have to leave my cell phone off though or they’ll be wanting me to come in tomorrow to make up for today but tomorrow I have to do a couple things plus I will still need to rest.

  326. NYCBella says:

    NYC SB~Ooh, goodie! I can hardly wait!!! lol

    DC SB~VDay would be apropos, but (fingers crossed) we might have found that difficult as I’m putting out happy vibes that we will all be occupado on that day.

    So, my 1st meet with the pot last night went well. Really well actually. It’s interesting to compare styles having now met several pots. And this one is a genuinely good person. (Not that the others aren’t), but I feel no elements of pretension with him or that he’s faking a persona which he aspires towards…he’s just the real deal…which in my book translates to confidence and a certain level of contentment that only life experience and maturity can create. There’s just something so sexy about a confident and successful man…

    IRL SD~what was she gonna do…give you a 10 minute warning. Ooh, or better yet, like in therapy “I’m sorry, but our time is up…please put your penis away and while it may be frustrating, maintain that line of “thought” and we’ll resume again next Wednesday at 2:30.”

  327. ESB says:

    Lisa: I had a job once where they acted like you were committing a national offence is you called in sick. The supervisor actually said to me ‘You know you won’t be paid if you don’t come in today, being as you are an hourly employee”… I had no voice. I could hardly call in to tell her I couldn’t. Now, I am a very patient, kind person, but MAN did that piss me off.. I said “Really?!! I don’t get paid if I don’t work??!! WOW, I didnt’ know that!! (yes, said drippin in sarcasm) Does it really sound like I CARE!!” and hung up on her. Some people just dont get it.

    Just for the record, McSugar Daddy… LMAO!! I Love it!!

  328. ElegantSugar says:

    Good morning, Sugars!

    Vegas is cold and rainy. Ew. Having a great time nonetheless! Not sure this pot SD is THE one, but it is usually hard to tell right away. Going back to what someone (Flo Rida, I think) said about instant chemistry. Certainly not expecting that, but had much more chemistry with 2 other pot SDs I met with earlier this month. We are having fun though, so we shall see…

    Tried to catch up on all of the comments:

    IRLSD – 30 minutes?! Egads. Talk about pressure. Will the egg-timer be on? What if you don’t ‘finish’ and the bell dings? “Ok, that’s it. Times up. Get off me, buddy.” Forget Speed Dating, Speed Sexing is the new rave?

    SDN – Keep those pick-up lines a-flowing! Hilarious!

    SBnxtdoor – Great question regarding the request for allowance from a green pot SD. All advice given has been great. Just be up front and honest. The bottom line is, the name of the site is SEEKING ARRANGEMENT and needs differ from person to person on what exactly that perfect arrangement would be for them so I think it is important for those conversations to take place early on. The relationships developed here on SA are not so different than the ones from other sites (match, e-harmony, etc), and in my opinion cuts out a lot of the minutia that comes with ‘regular’ dating. In most relationships you would more than likely lend help to one another whether it be emotional, financial or whatever, it just takes longer usually to reach that comfort level to offer/accept help. SA allows you to cut right to the chase and openly say (in so many words), “my needs are….”

    Good morning everyone else!!

  329. ESB says:

    Afternoon Everyone!! Im still catching up from last night. Be back with more…

    MDsb: I was so going to change my name to that!! Welcome Sweety!! What side of the bay you on? I’m east! I hope you can make it to our little get together Sat. night. Would be great. The more the merrier!!

  330. Muse says:

    DC – I saw something about that ages ago but I can’t remember the details. All I know is I didn’t go.

  331. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Morning all –

    SDN – I am impressed with your seemingly endless repertoire pick-up lines! I’m going to have to keep my eye on you!

    Flo – WELCOME BACK! :)

    I skimmed yesterdays activity – but no way I’ll catch up on everything

  332. VA SB says:

    Ooh, DC, I really like that idea….

  333. DC SB says:

    Geeze tuxedo guy really gets around. Hahaha.

    I second NYC Bella on the DC/NY meet up. If we would have thought of it before it would have been cute to do it on Vday. Aww. :)

    Does anyone know if there are SD/SB mixers beyond the blog a la millionaire matchmaker minus the marriage and kid 5 year plan but closer to a cougar/cub Carnival cruise except SD/SB oriented minus the water?
    That was really complicated. But, that’d be cute. If there was an exclusive SD club that threw small get together for SDs to meet potential SBs on a more personal level than the internet, but still very informal/casual.

  334. NYC SB says:

    NYCBella – Im sure you will get an email soon enough… and yes the weather has been very nice lately… yet it still pales in comparison to the current weather in the bahamas … oh and the white sands and clear water… oh heaven!

  335. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    SDN – I take it you didn’t like any of my name suggestions for you?? :(

    I hope you girls have fun with your SB meet! :) I want to meet everyone tooooo!

  336. VA SB says:

    That is so funny.

    Tuxedo Guy emailed me too, but there was no chemistry for me…..I like my guys a little “lighter”…. so I told him “Sorry, but no thanks.” I’m glad I did….$1,000 for three times a week….Nope, not good at all.

  337. NYCBella says:

    SDN~YES! That’s what I’m talkin bout…lol.

    Oh, and how come I haven’t been hit up by tuxedo guy??? I feel like I’m totally missing out on this apparent NY rite of passage. hahahaha.

    Ooh!!! Lets do a DC/NYC thing!

    NYCSB~normally I’d agree (I’m soooo sick of this winter already), but the last two days have been gorgeous! It’s like upper 40s/low 50s with not a cloud in sight. (Of course, that’s another annoying thing about NY, the weather can’t ever seem to make up it’s mind…I have to keep a reserve stock of antibiotics cause the constant flux keeps ensuring recurring sinus infections).

  338. Anna Molly says:

    I would love to go to another meet! Sounds like fun!! :)

  339. VA SB says:

    Hey MDsb –

    We so very much hope that you can join us!! OC and Stephan – can you pretty please pass along my email to MDsb for the meet….Thanks!

  340. DC SB says:

    Thank goodness I didn’t run across this dom lawyer from DC. Although that sounds like 99% of the lawyer population here. Haha. Or, even beyond lawyers.. everyone is an alpha male (or tries to be).

    NYC SB let’s definitely do that! I’m in NYC all the time. I have tons of friends there so I make up all sorts of excuses just to go up :) I’ll tell the DC girls about it this weekend.

  341. NYC SB says:

    DC – Yeah I do love NYC…however! I am sooo excited to not be in the freezing cold this weekend… we should do a DC/NYC meet up in the future

  342. NYC SB says:

    Cleo – He targets NYC women… with you he will have to pay for a flight… and a filight 3 times a week is a whole lot more than 1k …

    Do you guys remember the dom lawyer guy from DC? I remember a bunch of women complaining about him but I cant locate the blogs…. HELP!

  343. DC SB says:

    So tux guy is infamous on the blog? Makes me wish I still had a profile to check him out. What was his prob?

  344. Anna Molly says:

    Hi everybody! I blocked Tux guy a long time ago…LOL

  345. DC SB says:

    NYC SB You should tell him for 3 visits for 1000 he’d get a much better deal heading over to Craigslist’s adult services section. Haha

  346. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    NYCBella: Did you clean your pants with Windex? Because I sure can see myself in them.

  347. cleo says:

    humph, tuxedo guy never offers ME an arrangement!

  348. DC SB says:

    NYC SB – trust me, you are preaching to the choir. It has been SOOoooooooo hard to sock away all of my allowance (I’ve been very good, haven’t spent a dime on anything else) into a non existent black hole that is “my college loans” – it almost seems like throwing money out of the window, except the debt gets a small dent put into it. Still. I’ve already been considering extending my SB ways for a tad bit after I break even, because by then, well, I’ll owe it to myself for having been such a good girl 😀

    You’re so lucky you’re in NYC. It’s one of my most favorite cities in the world :)

  349. Yaz says:

    NYCSB~ You crack me up! LOL Yeah he is STILL offering $1000 for 3
    times a week!! He must be smoking some reallllllllly good stuff hahahaa

    As for A. Cooper…….it is such a shame…..Nothing against the gays but why do they have to have all the hot dudes??!! *pulling my hair out*

  350. NYCBella says:

    Morning all. Finally caught up on all the new posts.

    Flo~I just joined during your absence but am looking forward to hearing some of that “famed” insight. Oh, and the answers to some of those questions!

    SDN~No love for this NY chick??? :(

    I’m gone for a day and so much has happened! Hope you’re all having a happy Thursday!

    Elegant~Hope Vegas is good to you!

  351. NYC SB says:

    2chic & bG – what is this book you are talking about? let us in the secret book club

    Sbnextdoor – teaching a green SD about the allowance is usually a long and strenuous process… most of the time it doesnt work… my thoughts on that are that he needs to be ok with the allowance before joining… some men are wired in such way that they see allowance as “paying” for the affection and just rubs them the wrong way… others are open to it and usually a small push such as “i could use financial help” does the trick… I usually say something along what Flo suggested… “I really enjoy my time with you, however, at this point of my life I am too financially stressed and as such am looking for a man who is willing to take off some of that stress via a monthly allowance”

    Flo – you work at Hertz??? OMG no wonder why you had all those receipts… lol scandalous

    Yaz – “de-gay-ify” him huh? lol well that sounds like a fun evening… you can talk about world events during the session… that should “perk” him up lol
    lol @ tuxedo guy… I blocked him last time… $1000 for 3 times a week… he must me on some good drugs

    Cali SB – I dont understand why NYC pots would email Cali SBs and vice versa… the flight is SOOOOOO long… if I were a NYC SD and I wanted someone out of town I would email Miami SBs as the flight is only 2 hours… but what do i know?

    DC SB – getting out of school debt free would be perfect… just dont be surprised if you still look for an SD after that can help you retire early 😀

  352. Kiki says:

    hey aussie SBs … sounds like the men down under and those in north america are pretty similar ……… hehe. i guess the best advice that i keep hearing on the blog is to keep at it – your patience will pay off :)

  353. Beach_Girl says:

    SDN~ Awww, lol thanks!

    Hey everyone , hope you all have a good day!

  354. Yaz says:

    LOL SDN thanks! :-)

  355. NYGent says:

    Flo Rida: welcome back, and again proves there is strength in numbers.

  356. cleo says:

    oh geeze sdn… thank you.


    (and you cali sb :)

  357. NC Gent says:

    Aussie SB — just curious, are there many Australian SDs on the site?

  358. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    Cali SB:Most people like to watch the Olympics, because they only happens once every 4 years, but I’d rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime.

    beach girl: For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.

    NEOhio SB: You shouldn’t wear makeup. It’s messing with perfection!

    Yaz: Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. MY JAW!

    ** Please excuse my over site **

  359. NC Gent says:

    Good morning all!

    SB-Emy — your post made me spit my coffee back into my cup…. did the SD not take any hints??

  360. Aussie SB says:

    its been quite frustrating, 3 months and still no SD not for lack of interest alot of phone calls with heavy breathing though

  361. DC SB says:

    VA SB: Sorry to hear about the SD babe, we’ll have to discuss on Saturday – especially since you’ll be meeting him the day after :) so ESB (and hopefully MD sb) and I will all give you lots of good advice!

    Cali SB – I was contacted mostly by DC, MD, VA and NYC SDs with the occasional Cali or FL SD thrown in there (and a few completely random TN, NC etcs) but, I prefer a more local SD.. in theory having an SD far away sounds great in terms of going, leaving the relationship there, and coming back – but with my job expectations, leaving the state and/or area is relatively difficult. :(
    I also feel as though if an SD is contacting outside of his state there *could* be a chance that he has bored with his selection at home? Or tried with a few girls in his state and now wants to branch out- here in the DMV (Dc, Md, Va) area very few new girls sign up often (so I’ve been told) and so the SDs here feel the selection is slim. When a new girl hops on, they all flock to her immediately, the good ones are taken or haven’t logged in due to new SDs etc.
    They always say the grass is greener on the other side.. :)

  362. DC SB says:

    SBnxtdoor: Per your question on asking for allowance over gifts – I’m very upfront. I say at the onset, I have loans left over from undergrad, and I’m pursuing my MA and despiting being a smart girl and having scholarships, I’m finding myself facing hurdles in concentrating solely on my MA and work when I am stressed over the amount of loans and debt I am racking up. I want to be able to pay for my loans, tuition and books as opposed to receiving clothes, jewelry etc. because once I pay my loans off and finish my MA I will be able to start my young, professional life with no obstacles in my way.
    If the SD respects you, he’ll definitely respect that you choose to have money for items that actually matter as opposed to more frivolous items such as handbags, shoes, new electronic toys etc.
    All of my SDs have also said they are happy that I do have a goal in mind, and that I came to SA knowing exactly what I wanted, mapped out a plan, and being an SB is not my lifetime career goal, but a temporary situation until I can get on my own two feet.
    (Also they’ve said they were happy they wouldn’t have to spend hours trying to figure out what purse to buy me, or what clothing store to take me to etc.) Haha :)

  363. DC SB says:

    MDsb ahh! Actually we are meeting up this Saturday for drinks, 3 of us girls from the DMV area :) come with, come with! 😀
    Just write your email down (put an email that you created for SA and not your actual email – in case other people are reading) and I’ll include you on our email convos :)


  364. Yaz says:

    I will keep my fingers crossed for you!! :-)

    I am lazy so I stopped looking for a SD a while ago… Too much going on IRL that I have to take care of….lol I let my membership expire so now I am considering just deleting my account and just keep blogging haha.

    NeOhio SB~ I didnt get one too lol….

  365. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Yaz – indeed this is sooo true! Patience and knowing what you desire is sooo important!! I am very hopeful in the pot SD I have right now – nothing like the previous…fingers crossed :)

  366. NEOhio SB says:

    Yaz~~ Took a LOA over the holidays, but great to be back to see and hear about everyones Sugar World…amazing how many new names and bloggers are here…hard to keep up. Just like Santa is swamped at Xmas, so is a “number cruncher” at tax time, so my postings will be hit or miss…and not quite able to catch up on all of the longggggg postings, but will try to when I can.

    SDN ~~ Must say, you represent quite well……I absolutley feel left out without receiving one of your “to die for phrases”..that all the SB bloggers are swooning about…:(

  367. Yaz says:

    On other related news has anybody received yet ANOTHER mass email from Tuxedo guy??? LOL That guy doesnt give up…

  368. Yaz says:

    The sad thing is for one amazing SD on SA there are 20 fakes/flakes SDs here…….It really takes a lot of patience and time to weed them out….

  369. Yaz says:

    Taz~ It was a weekend of fun, shopping and non stop partying. It will be too long to share it on the blog…. He also wanted us to respect his privacy so there is only so much we can tell. That is the reason why I never shared it on the blog.

  370. Yaz says:

    NEOhio SB~ Long time no see :-)

  371. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Me toooo! I wanna know Pleeeease? :)

  372. sb-emy says:

    although i am apprehensive about men who earn less than their purported figures, i don’t want to feel like they’re going to try and get more bang for their buck by XXXX a sugar baby than an escort. it’s a discomforting feeling.

    ehh, I slept over briefly on our second meet (with pot sd, in his apartment), he snores and smells odd – but he’s polite and quite um, muscular – heavy? i’m not used to guys and their heavy embraces (am rather petite).

    i had trouble napping so he gave me toys to play with. (just toys guys) and it was so platonic I left quite frustrated. Hopefully the next few meets I will be able to show my whoreside.


  373. Yaz says:

    Sam has left SA a while ago. The other girls who went on the trip with us do not blog anymore, just Gail and I.

  374. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Well I’ve only been at this job for 1 year and a half but but never missed a day of work on my previous 2 jobs.

    I’m trying to drink water. I miss my coffee but the thought of it makes me want to throw up.

  375. NEOhio SB says:

    Flo ~~ Welcome back. Your insight, experience and great stories have been greatly missed….(((hugs)))

  376. Yaz says:

    Good morning all! :-)

    Lisa, if your are sick, you are SICK!! There is nothing you can do about that and you need to take care of yourself! Too bad for the store for your health comes first!! The manager needs to understand that.
    I do hope you feel better soon!! :-)

  377. sb-emy says:

    hey fellow aussie sb!

    1. How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement?

    It’s everything really, if he shows in some way that he is a caring individual then i am satisfied. Like you said, it needs to be Mutual!

    Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how?
    You can usually tell in the first 3 emails.

    i’ve asked my pot sd what he expected, and I think if I will be able to fulfil those to the best of my capability then appreciation will naturally follow.

    in regards to the first few emails, i’ve had a few creeps on the sugardaddie site want to fuck me on first, or second meet – writing all this in the same paragraph they introduced their family and kids with. Awkward.

    Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more?

    in our sd/sb relationship, appreciation is structured around intimacy. my requirements are that I must enjoy the chemistry and be able to come every time we have sex (which is easy, I have an amazingly sexy toy) and he will enjoy oral. Benefits are the same really, I get an allowance and do not expect dinners because being seen out with a man much older than me in my home town is not very ‘convenient’ for us both.

    Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?
    never satisfied? move on.

  378. NEOhio SB says:

    Good morning Midwest, Nikki, Aussie and Lisa.

    Lisa ~~ You are absolutely doing the right thing. No manager can condone you for taking a sick day, especially since you haven’t in over 12 years. OMG. Keep yourself hydrated by all means, most important…forget the food. Get some rest and hope you feel better.

  379. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    my boss will just have to get off her a** today and actually do some work. All the other area managers work along with their employees but for some reason she likes to sit at the computer doing nothing. She’s just a kid though. Heck she dropped out of college to be department manager, not very smart in my opinion

  380. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    thanks , still can’t get hold of manager

    no soup please, no food of any kind yuck

    Ok just got hold of manager, she didn’t seem to pleased

    Now I can relax. If I had a desk job, i’m sure I could have worked, but lifting heavy boxes and dragging heavy carts around is anothing thing/

    I haven’t called in sick in over 12 years

  381. Midwest says:

    Vegas meet ladies – I would *LOVE* to hear about the trip and a bit more about Sam. He hasn’t been on since I joined and it all sounds perfectly wonderful!

  382. Niki says:

    Good Morning.
    Lisa–Please don’t let her make you feel guilty. Your getting better is much more important than working the truck. I hope you feel better soon.

  383. Midwest says:

    Good morning all

    Lisa – I truly believe you are doing the right thing. I hope you feel better! Sending virtual chicken soup :-)

  384. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Good morning everyone
    Woke up still feeling horrible. Fever, chills, can’t eat. Got brave and called in to work but the store manager isnt’ there yet so I’ve still got to call again. She will not be happy because I was the only person sceduled to work today so the truck won’t get worked.

  385. Aussie SB says:

    Hello sugar world and all blogers!

    How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement?
    rather important on both sides, he needs to feel that the arrangment is benificial to his particular needs and same goes for mine.

    Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how?
    You can usually tell in the first 3 emails.

    Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more?
    it depends on the sugar couple and each others limits

    Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?
    NEVER, both sugars need to be happy if this is going on your with the wrong person,

  386. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    My apologies Cali SB – I had no right to judge you either.

  387. Cali SB says:

    It seems that recently many of the pot SD’s that have been emailing me are from NYC. Yet many East Coast SB’s say CA SD’s contact them. Do you SD’s prefer someone on the other side of the coast so there’s less chance of getting caught or the SB becoming clingy? Or is it just coincidence?

  388. Cali SB says:

    So I just got home from being out for a while and found a note taped to my door, which turned out to be a thank you card from the elderly woman a few apartments down from me. I was completely shocked when I read it and never really stopped to think about how one small (and seemingly insignificant) act can absolutely change someone’s life, literally. I think I mentioned here that the other day I stopped by this woman’s apartment and brought her a couple packs of the lemon yogurt I had been talking about because I wanted her to try it. It was evening and she had been getting ready to go to sleep soon. We stood outside and talked for some time until she started getting back pains in her stomach that wouldn’t go away after we tried walking a bit so she went inside. Her note tonight said that she ended up having prescription drug poisoning thanks to her new doctor and had I not come by with the yogurt and to talk she would have gone to bed and probably died. I’m just in complete shock and so glad she’s okay. I said that yogurt was amazing, I just didn’t realize how literal it was! :)

    Cleo — I’m glad you’re back and feeling better! *hugs*

    Lisa — Feel better!!!!

    SDN — You overclock my processor.. Without you my world is NULL 😉 (You are probably the only person who would appreciate these ones) BTW. I only got ONE line and I was LAST? Ouch. :(

    OC — I have never been to Vegas.. if you are going, take me with you! I need out of this rain! :)

    LASB — IRL hunt on Friday night??? Or are you still in NYC?

    IRLSD — I am so intruiged by your posts and stories.. seriously, you need your own blog like NYC SB! I would read it! I’m dying to see your profile.. to see the man behind the stories! :)

    ****And on another note as I vaguely skimmed posts that I’ve missed since I was gone, I just wanted to clarify that I was never “pissed” as was insinuated nor am I “offended” by anyone being here, again as insinuated. (By the way, nameless apologies are a joke) I’ve thought this entire thing was so ridiculous it was laughable and I’ve said as much to the 2 bloggers I regularly talk to through email. The internet doesn’t dictate my life and I am not a person who lets things anger her in real life, let alone on the internet. I don’t let negativity into my life, that’s why I just ignore the ignorant people. And for the record, I didn’t “start” anything. I made a comment it seemed fishy that some SB’s posts look identical to SD posts in style. I didn’t even mention names. The fact that someone assumed it was them and a whole story about it unfurled just proves guilt, that’s not my fault. Anyway, I am done wasting my energy on toxicity, just wanted to clarify that I was never “pissed”. :)

  389. Taylor says:

    I’m meeting with a pot SD today! A local one! AND the long distance pot SD I’m so into called and happily chatted to me for half an hour or more last night and it was fun. He seems into me. Just hard to feel from thousands of miles away, sometimes.

    Soooooooooo crossing my fingers that something happens with one of them, preferrably the one I’ve been into all month, but it’s so nice to have a back up plan and not feel like all your eggs are in one basket.

  390. Yaz says:

    Oh also thanks to everybody who answered my question about what “extras” a SB can ask for if given the opportunity. All of you are right…..career mentoring is definitely the smartest choice :-)

  391. Yaz says:

    Took me a long time to catch up!!!! :-)

    Have fun Elegant Sugar!! :-)
    Last year in Feb, me and 6 other SBs from around the world spent the most amazing weekend in Vegas. Thanks to the most amazing SD. ( I believe NCGent and Sincere remember him well)

    Re: Yes fairy tales in the sugar world DO exist. But, like another SB said ( can’t remember who..) it is very easy to know if someone is “embellishing” their stories or if they are speaking from REAL experiences..
    What happened in Vegas last year ( I know Gail shared bits and pieces of it here on the blog) and although for a loooooong time I was itching to share it with everyone, I would rather keep it to myself….All I have left are hundreds of pics. :-) What we experienced there is more than a fairy tale, “too good to be true”, and to explain it all here would be has if I was making stuff up thats why me and the other girls decided to keep it to ourselves. And everytime we look at our pics, it reminds us of how lucky we are.
    So yes, amazing stuff happens in the sugar world. Some decide to share it with others and some don’t ( and just because they dont, doesnt mean they havent had any luck at all) Ever heard the expression “Pour mieux vivre, vivons cahes” ??? Enough said. :-)
    BUT, just like in the real world ( which is full of attention seekers and lunatics) there are unfortunately some people who “embellish” their stories for one reason or the other 😉
    The blog is meant for EVERYONE to share their personal experiences, “embellished” or not! :-) and NO ONE has to prove to ANYONE whether what they have experienced is true or not. If you believe to that the story is true or not , fine :-) But please please please please no need to call someone a liar….

    NYCSB: Yes, Cooper is gay….(from what I’ve heard…) but I would gladly volunteer to de-gay-ify him ANYDAY! LOL 😉

    Muse~ Maybe you do have a crush on him after all lol

    SDN~ Thank you!!!!!!!!! For bringing humor and joie de vivre back on the blog!! :-) We needed that!

    I think everybody went to bed lol

  392. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Cleo – I would love to help – however I am not very good at profiles lol…I had a multitude of people help me with mine..

  393. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:


    “I truly think, IRL, if more mature, men of means could have the idea of being an SD explained to them, or knew about “the way things work” more would go for it. I am wondering how our blog SD’s got hip to this idea, this subculture.”

    GREAT BLOG TOPIC! Pleeeeease Stephan make this a blog topic??!

  394. cleo says:

    it’s time to change up my profile, suggestions welcome…

    you guys know me fairly well, i’d trust your edits :)

  395. SBnxtdoor says:

    TXSB– What you say is true, but for a new SD, they may just need it explained in such a way that it feels right to provide money as opposed to gifts. Many guys think gift=sugar daddy. I truly think, IRL, if more mature, men of means could have the idea of being an SD explained to them, or knew about “the way things work” more would go for it. I am wondering how our blog SD’s got hip to this idea, this subculture. Hmmmmm?

  396. MDsb says:

    hello everybody,its nice to be back again,i am very new to this but i love to read the blog.everone in here have great advice.
    VAsb and DCSB its very nice to see people who live close to me in SA
    i would love to meet for the DMV meet up.plzzz let me know

  397. SBnxtdoor says:

    Thanks Flo– I like your flow
    SDNE Ohio— Love the pick up lines.

    For those of you who have not checked the people of wal-mart website recently, I’m telling you, guaranteed belly laughs.

  398. TXSB says:

    Hi to Anyone who’s on right now! :)

    That’s a tough situation if I were to meet a “SD” IRL. But the men who’s on this site should realize that this is a arrangement site! That’s why I always ask pot SDs what kind of arrangement they’re looking for. If they ask me, I tell them that I’m looking for a flat montly allowance…if they’re not ok with that, then I move on. If a man on this site really thinks that paying a allowance is like “paying for sex”…but taking her on a shopping spree or paying her “debt” is different, then he’s fooling himself. Either way he’s spending money on her!

  399. Flo Rida says:

    SBnxtdoor – Just say ‘Of course I love and want to be with you, but I also need and want financial assistance. I can’t afford to take time off of work, I have to pay bills and student loans, also I constantly about bills and so am maybe a tiny a bit distracted, will you consider paying some bills – loans directly? etc

    Still not a lawyer and still can’t meet people. Btw I work in Hertz for $5 an hour – joking! ciao babe

  400. Beach_Girl says:

    SBnxtdoor~ wow that is a hard one, Maybe try and say something like friends with benefits… an allowance to help….I have no clue! I hope others will chime in

  401. SBnxtdoor says:

    As we know there are all types of sugar daddies: shopping daddies, debt daddies, mentor daddies, etc,..I know someone here, can’t remember who it was, who was dealing with a potSD, who bristled at the idea of an allowance. I am wondering what might be a persuasive way for an SB to describe to a green or potSD, the idea of him giving her an allowance and not make it seem tawdry or like paying for sex. Perhaps he may be open to the idea, if it is presented well. Thoughts?

  402. Beach_Girl says:

    2Chic~ oh yes… thank you

  403. 2Chic says:

    There are online demos too, will email you the link.

  404. Beach_Girl says:

    Hi Anna~ that sucks

    2Chic~ yeah been reading on and off… didn’t finish it yet… but thank you Thank you 😀

  405. 2Chic says:

    Hello…”how U B”
    Has the literature enlightened you?

  406. Anna Molly says:


  407. Anna Molly says:

    Hi BG! Yeah, I can’t sleep..sigh

  408. Beach_Girl says:

    Anna~ You are up late! Hi

    2Chic~ hey girl…

  409. 2Chic says:

    Hi Sugas

  410. Beach_Girl says:

    SDN~ HAHHAH ,,,

    Midwest~ good night girl!

    Hey everyone!

  411. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintstone says:

    Gemini: McSugar Daddy is a delicious treat and no calories! There is a McNugget joke but I will let that one go.

  412. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Goodnight sugars!

  413. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    Ok I’m off to bed, before you all can tempt me with other types of fast foods….

  414. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    this reminds me… every time I See a snuggie for sale in a store…I think of the blog snuggie family! lolol

    also loling at McSugar Daddy. its also making me craving McDonalds right now….

  415. JSO-TXSD says:

    yall can laugh SB wise. but the fastest way an sb can learn is have the guys make a joke and you girls correct it with adivce.

  416. cleo says:

    omg mcsugardaddy

    *snorts water*

  417. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Lol Fred Flinstone – toooo funny! SDN – I think we should have a vote for your new & *improved* name :)

    Test Drive SD
    Snuggie SD
    McSugar Daddy

  418. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    So Cal – it is a mix…mostly SB’s…if more SD’s knew about it our regular blog daddies would be a little sad I think lol…defintely a great group of sugars..and lurkers :)

  419. kayla-leigh says:

    o ok lol thanks TT

  420. Fred Flinstone- Its actually FREEZING in so cal and storming worse then it has in years! Thanks for the compliment though. Do many SD’s post on thisblog? If its mostly women that is great too. ITs always nice to have friends in this seceret world! Other people who understand.

  421. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Welcome kayla-leigh! This blog is your mentor :) Explore it and be involved!

  422. JSO-TXSD says:

    kayla-leigh – starbucks, walmart, test drives
    welcome, and you came to the right place. The girls will take care of you. THEY ARE GREAT

  423. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Welcome kayla-leigh. Please feel free to post specific questions and we will all be happy to contribute. The previous blogs are a wealth of information. If you are looking for something specific, pick a blog, do Ctrl F, and type something like “allowance”. It’s not a perfect system, but it will help narrow down the information.

  424. kayla-leigh says:

    hi my name is kayla-leigh im very new to this whole sugar baby arrangement i have yet to find my self a sugar daddy if theres anyone willing to teach me the ins and out ov this thing that would be very appreciated

  425. VA SB says:

    Hi SoCal – glad to have you on the board. Sugary Welcome……

    Lisa – I hope you feel better soon….I hate when I don’t feel well.

    Elegant – I hope you have a blast with your SD. I grew up in Las Vegas!!!! Yep, someone who actually grew up there – you don’t find that very often. I love my hometown – need to go back soon. Darn – wish we were friends and that we knew each other before you visit….oh well, have a great time.

    ESB – Once the divorce is final, it will probably take you a while to feel “whole” again….but I hope in the end, it was the best decision for both of you.

    Flo – thanks for the tips, you make some very good points and I can absolutely understand how some of these feelings/assumptions can be made on both sides. You’ve given me something to consider.

    All right sugar family….heading up to bed – have to get up early tomorrow to work out….trying to get in better shape…..


  426. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    Hi JSO! and Midwest!

  427. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Hey JSO!

  428. JSO-TXSD says:

    hey midwest txsb and everyone else

  429. JSO-TXSD says:

    IRLSD – This is a late post. What would you do for the other 20 minutes…LOL
    Hell no.

  430. ESB says:

    I need to go pick up Baby Girl from her Track meet. Good night everyone, sleep well, and sugar dreams!!

  431. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    NYC SB – Awwww… (((hugs))))

    Lisa – I hope you get to feeling better. I know it’s against everything you believe to take a day off, but you do need to take care of yourself. There are some nasty flu viruses going around and it wouldn’t take much to have it passing through the entire store in a vicious cycle. Please take care of you!

  432. ESB says:

    MMD: You always have just the perfect thing to say. thank you! XOX

  433. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Evening sugars!

    SoCal Blondie – Welcome, welcome, welcome. I hope your second journey is a wonderful as your first!

    Flo Rida – Welcome back! It looks like you are quickly catching up! As to the list: #6 is a great talent and perhaps a blog topic of it’s own right. When SD and I talk about business, he is careful to keep to to a 5-10 minute update/ vent mode and then he makes a conscious effort to put it aside during the rest of our time together. It’s a nice compromise for both. Do others have ideas on what has worked for them?

    Elegant- Vegas??? I would LOVE to come! Busy day on Thursday though :(
    I love your stories and trust my judge of character as to what is and is not true. I believe there are exceptional experiences and welcome them to the blog. We watch movies knowing they are fiction, yet hoping and believing one day we will have that same experience.
    Also, I agree about disclosure with your SD’s permission. I value the trust we share and would not risk it by sharing personal information.

    ESB – It was a bittersweet day when my divorce was final. He was my one true love, but we were ultimately not right for each other. Toast to new beginnings and being true to yourself. My life turned around in the right direction when I went out on my own and discovered what I am truly capable of.

    ESB- My family is in SE Florida…grew up there and visit about 2x or more a year. Let me know when you are going.

    SDN – Are your legs tired b/c you’ve been running through my mind all day :-)

    Fairy tales- LOVE THEM!! That said, don’t dismiss the nice guy who has a warm heart, is kind to animals and treats you very well!

    James and james.m –james.m could adopt the name FRS SD. He will have to explain

    Lolita99- Some sbs are available on a moment’s notice. The rest of us realize it’s important to share in our ever-sugary way that we have work/family obligations and are happy to make exceptions with some notice. It’s not always convenient, but it at least allows both to decide if it will work. My SD is very thoughtful about my work and family obligations and I am truly grateful!!

    Yaz – I echo those who mentioned the “extras” as mentoring. Networking and great introductions can affect a person’s life. Always remember that those introductions are people who respect your SD in the world of business and always conduct yourself accordingly.

    IRL SD – I will say I like your response of “To pitch in when I need things, within reason, things down the road if everything works out well.” Your posts have had a different tone as of late and I, for one, appreciate it.

  434. TXSB says:

    Hi Everyone! :)

    Hope your date goes well! :)

    Flo Rida:
    Welcome back! :)

    I 2nd that blog topic idea!

    Re: Expectations
    Firstly I would never sleep with a pot SD on the first date. Even with IRL BF’s I’ve dated, I’ve never slept with anyone on the first date. Forget SDs, even with real life BFs, I need to get to know them and feel comfortable with them before I get physical.

    As for how often it happens….I honestly think it happens more than we (the SBs specially) like to admit. Even on this blog we’ve had SDs mention how they slept with a SB on the first date….or how the SB herself offered a “test drive”. I’m sure there are many women out there who view sex as purely a physical act and do not need anything besides raging hormones (or $$$) as motivation to do it. And then there are others who need some type of personality connection or “chemistry” to do it. There’s nothing wrong with either…..just a individual preferance.

  435. ESB says:

    please, I need answers to some of those… you are good sister, so glad to have you back!!

  436. Flo Rida says:

    Elegantsugar, 2chic, Beach – hi dearest
    SDN – huge apologies for missing the snuggie comment – I use a pashmina or a wrap – or artic thermals – I know some SAS special forces people and they tell me about Winter or Summer Selection and removing articles of clothing at -20 is not fun
    cleo – I love that certain word as a pronoun too, us New Yorkers are versatile, you can be part of the airport, bridge & tunnel club
    ESB – I love activity events – rollerblading, the super wealthy love tennis & golf, SD likes handball and basketball. i’m 5ft 9.5inches so i’m versatile but not athletic. In terms of a traditional dinner date something low cut will stop him thinking about work but has unintended consequences. Ask him these puzzles:

    1 What have you not done that is within your means that you would still like to do (then do it with him)?
    2 What is outside of your means that you would like to do?
    3 What are your top 10 happy memorable life events – and tell him there’s a special treat if you think he has a sufficiently special list
    4 You’re at a place where it’s the same temperature in celcius and fahrenheit, what is the temperature, where are you and what day of the year is it? (there are two answers)
    4 By lines of latitude, longitude, what are the most eastern, western, northern and southern respectively American states? (trick question)
    5 Tell jokes
    6 Discuss movies
    7 Discuss sports

    find something topical and he’ll focus on you – BUT if he’s tired then massage him (you decide if in public).

    sorry for long list – answers tomorrow?

  437. ESB says:

    Good questions, Gemini… I’ll save my answers for the next blog… Stephan?? lol

  438. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    …I think the hardest thing to overcome from Flo’s list would be the generation gap. At least that’s from my experience… and also trying to convince guys 20-25 years older than myself that there won’t be instant lust chemistry…but if there is a comfortable sort of friendship in place, wonderful fun things can progress from that. I think too many guys expect women to jump them on the first date….and how often does that realistically happen??

    Perhaps expectations would be a wonderful topic for the next blog. What do SDs and SBs expect from or on the first/second/third date? What does “chemistry” mean to everyone else?

  439. 2Chic says:

    Shouting…. Thanks Flo for the great list. I archived it with some many others.

  440. ESB says:

    LOL.. SDN, you are the best.. muah!!

  441. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    ESB: You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.

  442. ESB says:

    Hi Beach, Bye Beach!! 😉

  443. ESB says:

    SDN: Now I feel left out :(

  444. Beach_Girl says:

    Hi everyone! Just here for a few!

    Flo~ Welcome back, It’s about time… 😀 love ya!

    SDN aka Fred Flintsone~ HA love the new name!

    TT ~ hey girl, talk later

    Lisa~ get some rest , hope you feel better soon

    Welcome to the new Bloggers!!!

    See you later

  445. 2Chic says:

    Evening Folks

    Hope you feel better Lisa.

  446. NYC SB – Thank you, and I think you are probably right, I’m sure the U.S military is flooding the place with MREs.

  447. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    SoCal: Is it hot in here or is it just you?

  448. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Thanks ESB, I don’t have any Oj, just soda and coffee and I can’t drink either. I hope I feel better by tomorrow morning. Thursdays are hard enough at work without being sick.

  449. ESB says:

    AM, hi sweety!! Good to see you!

    Lisa, I am so sorry baby. Drink hot OJ. It actually helps! I hope you feel better soon. Miss your sence of humor!

  450. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Have fun Elegant :)

    Welcome SoCal :) SDN – glad you are remembering your manners 😉 No pick up lines for the new blog SB? I bet she feels left out!

  451. ESB says:

    Cleo, whiplash, 7 times? wow. I’m so sorry. I know what you deal with. C 4 & 5 are bulged. Tell me about it! lol

  452. ElegantSugar says:

    Cleo: I wish I would have known you guys when this was planned. We are only meeting for dinner and a show tonight and dinner tomorrow night then I’m flying back home. He has meetings mostly so even told me I should invite friends and turn into a fun trip for myself. Well, since this part of my life is such a big secret, I didn’t have any friends to invite! Would have been fun. Ok, guys, he is waiting in the lobby!! BYE FOR REAL!!! Hugs to all!

  453. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Good evening everyone. Staying off the computer tonight, been in bed since I got home from work. Not feeling any better, have a slight fever and chills, still can’t eat. I have to save all my energy and hope I can make it through work tomorrow. I’m the only one working in my department and I have a truck coming in so lots of work. I’ve not been sick like this in years.

  454. Anna Molly says:

    Sorry, SoCal Blondie..I didn’t see you there. Welcome! :)

  455. cleo says:

    ESB i’ve had whiplash seven times, the last one took me out and caused me to have to rebuild pretty much every muscle in my body before i could move like myself again.

    i would complain about the shittiness of it but truly i describe it as the most horrible positive experience that i’ve ever had.
    elegant sugar i wish you had given me more notice and i would have flown in :)
    flo: me too, but still there are times when pronouns are useful :)

  456. Hi Flo Rida! Thanks for the welcome!

    I do need to preak my information into paragraphs. Thanks for helping me out!

    ElegatSugar- Good luck with your pot. I’m going to be in vegas on the 14th!

  457. ElegantSugar says:

    I meant a show and dinner…

    Bye!! :)

  458. ESB says:

    flo: any advice on #6? maybe a hint or 2? I’d have trouble with that one.

  459. ElegantSugar says:

    Ok, beautiful Sugars…my pot SD just called. We are meeting now to hit the casino floors before a show and a movie! I was supposed to be gambling while he was in meetings, but instead, I was right here with you guys! 😀

    Had fun with everyone…

    Later, suga sugas!

  460. ElegantSugar says:

    Flo Rida’s ‘list’ was so perfect!!! I don’t think there is anything I could add.

  461. ESB says:

    Elegant: there you go, tempting me with a party. tsk tsk tsk.. I’ll have to turn you down, darlin. Got plans with a couple SBs this weekend and I’m really looking forward to it!

    (wow, that sounded kinda kinky!) Just to meet them and have some sugar fun. Will be nice to talk to someone who knows what we all go through, and commiserate! (better;) )

  462. ElegantSugar says:

    So Cal Blondie: Welcome! I would suggest you break your profile into paragraphs. Also your fourth sentence, you need to change ‘long’ to ‘along’. Happy SD searching!! :)

    SBs….come on over to Vegas, I have my own suite here so you can crash with me!! We’ll turn it into a party! :)

  463. ESB says:

    You are right SDN, we are being rude. Welcome So Cal B. Good luck in your search!

  464. Flo Rida says:

    i’ve now had time to re-read the earlier posts – very sorry to be a cause of the problems. Hopefully we can get along a tiny bit better.

    Elegant – I own a house in Flagler Beach but don’t spend much time there, hence the name.

    LASB, Gail, Photogirl, ESB – Hello ladies! Missed everyone.

    VA-SB – i’m a tiny bit over-rated, but like Haley’s comet I am capable of great (and also bad) things. i’ll try and be a voice of calm from now on.

    sorry if I missed anyone.

    In terms of the fairy tales they do exist (ahem) BUT there are also the train wrecks and the fairy tales take a lot of work. I always thought a first sugar date is similar to a real date but I now think it differs in the following manner:

    1 some SD’s want assurance that SB like them for them rather than money
    2 SBs want to be romanced and to be treated like a lady instead of like a girfriends for rent or an escort
    3 there’s generally a generational gap
    4 with long distance there’s a culture gap – hey New Yorker’s are very different
    5 there’s a comfort with money gap – generally SBs aren’t experienced with gala events, fine clothing, business people
    6 Some SDs really think about work all the time including part of the time at dinner and getting them to switch off & have fun is key
    7 there’s the secrecy & cover story issue
    8 SD’s may not have dated for a long time and have to re-learn dating
    9 SDs are generally super successful and used to getting their way and some can come over all business and arrogant

    Trust me it’s hard to make a SD feel that you genuinely like them as they have a nagging feeling that it’s the money (some choose to turn that belief off) but overcoming it is tough.

    Also the SD gives allowances and frankly expects ‘stuff’ and it takes SBs a while to ‘warm up’ and there can be acrimony in the ‘warm up’ period. i’m rambling.

    Cleo – I know transgender people and I generally refer to people by their name.

    Lisa who actually has a SD – there is no spoon – joking!

  465. ESB says:

    Cleo, what kind of injury do you have that you are dealing with?

  466. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    ESB: Just doing some lurking :) But I hate to see a new blogger not welcomed to the group!

  467. ESB says:

    SDN: glad to see you are here. You had me laughing so much earlier. You are just toooo funny!!

  468. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    So Cal Blondie: Welcome to the blog.

  469. ESB says:

    cleo: I’m done being stupid. I think that is the biggest adjustment I had to make. Dating the “wrong” guys. Doing things that goes agains everything I stand for. I’m slowly turning back into me, and not trying to be someone I’m not. Got all that “wild” out, and am happy with who I am again. I think my trip last weekend was a turning point. Just wish I had someone to share it with. Basic human need, and I’m just talking about companionship. Thank goodness for all my friends who have held my hand along the way. You all have been a great blessing too. Thank you!!

  470. Anna Molly says:

    Vegas would be lovely…sigh

  471. ESB says:

    TT:Baby Girl hates when I leave for the weekends. She hates being with her dad. She sees the reasons I left. I try to keep peace between her and her dad, but it’s not always easy when I have some anger there. I do well, but my son handles it best. If I start to bad mouth his dad, he simply tells me “Mom, you need to shut up”! lol He’s right!

    Anyway, glad someone understands. Thank you so much for your kinds words.

  472. cleo says:

    esb i was married for way way way less time than you were. such a short time and so long ago that i say single rather than divorced

    either way, it’s a very strange feeling to venture out again when you think you’re done looking for life

    be well in your quest/journey my friend :)

  473. 2Chic says:

    OC, Elegant,
    you two are making me long for such treatment. No I am not jealous…well maybe a little..(hehehe) . Seriously I am happy for you. I am encouraged by your experiences, and do look forward to my own fairytale.

  474. ESB says:

    Thank you OC. I can’t put into words what I feel. But “to a new beginning” fits!

    Vegas sounds fantastic. I think it’s warmer there!!

  475. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    ESB – it is closure – and not always an easy thing to attain even when you are ready for it..or maybe not so ready for it. It was all for a reason and I am sure you made the right choice for you and your daughter. {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}} not an easy time in your life…

  476. Hello Sugar world!
    I am brand new to this site. (technically, I was on here about two years ago) I am excited to meet someone new and I am learning a lot from all of your posts. I hope I can find someone just as amazing as the last man I was with! Anyone know of any gentlemen in the Los Angeles area? I’m going to link to my profile this time but I don’t know if I will in the future. Any comments on how I can improve my profile will be greatly appreciated!

    OCSugarBaby- I love that “pinch me because this can’t be real” feeling. Sometimes it does take a friend to keep you grounded.

  477. ElegantSugar says:

    Oh, I would NEVER give out full details or names and have even fabricated the venue or designer name of gift when sharing my stories earlier. I will openly share, but always with the SD’s absolute discretion (especially if he is married) in mind always. My SD’s needs, desires, trust and comfort level will always come first and he will always know it. :)

    How do you guys keep me on here???? I’m supposed to be downstairs losing winning/losing money or something! Wish someone would write and tell me they are in town too so I have a buddy to shop with tomorrow or at the very least coffee!!

    2Chic: Yes, you can have my email address. OCsugarbaby has it. (Could you pass along OCB? Thanks, dear!)

  478. cleo says:

    ocsugarbaby i hear you and understand your fluster.

    as to your relationship, i think it’s always worth working through things with people to a certain point. when i look at the long term couples that really work they all have a certain ease. a certain something that involves respect and healthy communication and a genuine liking and fascination for each other.

    to my mind, if it gets really difficult really fast there may be something else going on.

    THAT SAID!!! as someone who recovered from pretty life sucking injuries i must caution you to expect your man to not be himself for a while. it’s amazing the effect of long term sleep deprivation caused by pain. try to remember the man you met before the crash because that man will come back someday; i know i did. very few people really stuck with me through that but all of them will be friends for life.

    he will be less sunny and happy and more cranky and irritable… and there are ways to handle it. that said, don’t let your ‘toleration level’ get so high that you’re putting up with ill treatment.

    sorry if i’ve overstepped but i think i’m pretty rare on the blog for my experience with long term injury recovery (and i do it for work too) though i know a few others are also healing things. (at least one of whom i owe an email to if i could just find it)

    anyway feel free to ask me for my take on things but know that you are right, adversity builds character and travel through adversity increases bonding…


  479. ESB says:

    I’ll be in FL this summer, for my parents 50th Anniversary! Kinda sad for me since my marriage ended about the same time as my 25th!!

    Which reminds me… the count down is on.. less than 30 days ’til it’s official and I’ll have an “absolute” divorce, not just a “limited” one. Weird how I”m having mixed emotions about that now…

    I think if I had a relationship, I’d have a hard time telling some of the details, too. I would want to share enough to encourage everyone who is going through what I have been (fakes and all), but at the same time would like to keep my SD feeling safe with me that I wouldn’t want anyone else knowing our business.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      ESB that is what I struggle with. You nailed it :)
      He does not know I blog nor will he ever. Yet, I know if he was to know of my secret escape he would trust my judgement in withholding details that would reveal either of our identities. I do enjoy the fact he calls me his girlfriend. It warms me to my toes :)

      • OCSugarbaby says:

        ESB congrats? Not sure that is the right thing to say. I have been there, it is a total mixed bag of emotions. How about just “here’s to a new beginning”

        Now I am seriously thinking of heading to Vegas! ElegantSugar you made me want some bright lights and shopping to get me thru my funk… Hmmm…

  480. 2Chic says:

    Eleg Sugar: could I get your email.

  481. ElegantSugar says:

    ESB: Fabulous! Thank you for your email address. We should all get together very soon. :)

    OCsugarbaby: I can see the point in toning down the stories as not to come across as a braggart. That makes sense. I am not a braggart by nature, but I am VERY OPEN and EXPRESSIVE so it has been killing me to keep this sugary secret all to myself! I think because I have not shared A SINGLE story with anyone other than my dedicated journal that travels with me everywhere, when I found you guys here in blog world, I was ready to explode! So are you recommending we don’t tell all? (to prevent resentments/jealousy?) I want to follow proper protocol and be as elegant as possible in all of my deliveries. hence, the name. :)

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      OMG NO ElegantSugar, tell tell tell. I just would explode too if I didn’t have someone to tell :)

      • OCSugarbaby says:

        Ok, back to work for me. I haven’t been able to think straight since James came back. Yes, James it is building my character to grow the relationship. He is wonderful to me.

  482. VA SB says:

    Hey Elegant – yeah, I think you are right. I believe he was “used” in the past, so needs a little extra attention…

    We’re seeing each other on Sunday, so I’ll be discussing this with him then. He’s really sweet and I like him, but I don’t “do” drama from a man. I’m sure we’ll move beyond it, but it was very frustrating…

  483. ElegantSugar says:

    IRLSD: Thank you for your input in my letter. I can see where what I wrote would imply a genuine SD only wears Italian custom-made suits, but I certainly did not mean to come across that way. (My apologies!) My second SD, although he owned a multi-million dollar company, always wore jeans and t-shirts or polo shirts and he gave me the same (if not MORE, actually) experiences that my first one did.

    Thank you for pointing that out, IRLSD, because I would definitely like to express that to all SBs searching for their ‘perfect’ SD. Yes, SBs, WONDERFUL SDs come in all shapes & sizes. They dress differently and they speak differently. Some may speak five languages and hold a PhD. Some may only have a high school education.

    I’m really hitting the BJ tables now. I think I’m addicted to this…yikes!

  484. IRLSD says:

    VA SB, I echo Elegant Sugar. I think your issue is lack of trust on his part. I’ve discussed the issue of logging on ad nauseum before. Now I offer two options for an SB–an “open” arrangement and an “exclusive” one. In the former, they can date whomever else and get half of the full allowance for an “exclusive” relationship. I have had SBs say they want to be exclusive yet catch them cheating red-handed. Honestly, it only matters if I care about someone and want them long-term, otherwise if they run off with someone else, good riddance. But also, if an SB who logs onto SA keeps cancelling/rescheduling meets, I will assume it’s for other SDs, and the relationship will be over at the end of the allowance period.

  485. ESB says:

    OOPs, I mean my folks are in south/WEST FL, gulf coast!

  486. ESB says:

    ElegantSugar: My folks are in south/east FL. Would love to meet up with you next time I’m down that way!!

    I’m still hoping we get some more takers on Sat. night in DC. drop me a line if your interested. VA SB and DC will be there, too. We are hoping to meet Gail on her next visit to the capital!!

  487. ElegantSugar says:

    Ooooooh, I don`t want I don`t need I can`t stand no minute man,
    I don`t want no minute man,
    Ooooooh, here’s your chance, be a man take my hand, understand
    I don`t want no minute man…

    (a la Missy Elliott)

  488. IRLSD says:

    ElegantSugar, I believe most of the fairy tale stories. Having said that, in my experience, many SBs join this site with Pretty Woman in mind (a few have expressly said that to me on dates), but most have a hard time finding anything even close, instead running into a series of creeps and photo collectors. I don’t offer anything close to what you describe, but I really haven’t run into SBs who are not happy with the arrangement I offer. I always wondered if SBs are looking for the guy with the air of wealth, since I tend to be more humble and dress casual and carry myself with confidence but humility. I don’t even wear a watch and if I could have it my way I’d never wear anything less comfortable than t-shirts, jeans, and tennis shoes. Perhaps I am not your stereotypical SD, just a normal but generous young guy with too much time and money and who is easily bored and therefore seeking adventure.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      ElegantSugar glad you made it to Vegas safe and sound. To answer your question… I agree with you that it is a very narrow margin of SD’s that can have that kind of life transforming effect on ones life. My experience is one that I have tried to keep mainly to myself due to that very fact. I have not found a way to value both my private life and my SD/BF’s and to tell the full fairy tale stories. When you figure that one out let me know! My postings tend to tone them down but still share that fun factor and glimmer of YES it does and can happen.
      My SB confidant Desert Bunny has helped to keep me grounded in all the excitement. She is one who also believes and understands the need to keep the “pinch me because this can’t be real feeling” between ourselves. But, yes it would be great to hear those stories.

  489. ElegantSugar says:

    Photogirl: I have not received your email address. Would love to meet up when we are both in Florida!! Would be SO NICE to have a girlfriend in my REAL life that I can share things with. Right now, I have some of my past SD’s new SBs as friends, but I don’t really want to vent or share much with them because of their relationships with my past SDs who are NOW their current SD. (gee, confusing much?) Ha! In other words, sometimes it’s nice to just share things with a girlfriend who is neutral and not close with any of the other people in your life. Make sense? How do I get your email address?

  490. ESB says:

    IRLSD: Sounds like my X!!

  491. IRLSD says:

    ESB, 30 minutes is shorter than I’d like, but sure beats the 30 seconds my wife gives me, lol.

  492. ElegantSugar says:

    VA SB: Gee. This from a MAN? Sounds like he is extremely insecure. He may be on auto-pilot from bad SB experiences in the past and it has nothing to do with you at all. Do you guys have the type of relationship that you can sit and talk rationally about things and share how you feel? Sounds like he needs validation from you that you are in it for the long haul. My past SDs have shared stories with me of SBs using them for a bit and then disappearing. I can’t say I blame them for needing the security, they are bringing a lot to the table too. My one word answer for everything: COMMUNICATE! (Ok, sometimes it’s SEX.) Yes, I said it,/b>. Ha ha!

    Blackjack, here I cooooooome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  493. NYC SB says:

    Elegant Sugar – Well said… I echo the sentiments…

  494. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    VA SB – Ugh, sorry to hear that! I hate it too when the other person brings drama into the relationship/arrangement. So unnecessary. I know SDs think the SB normally brings it, but I’ve been with a few guys who always brought the drama.

  495. ESB says:

    OH, forgot to say WELCOME BACK FLO

  496. ElegantSugar says:

    Thank you for all of your responses to my letter. I have considered starting a blog to write some of the stories from my past year – amazing, amazing experiences that most times felt surreal. I might just save them for a book. I have been extremely fortunate and do not take it for granted. The SDs in my life hear from me on a weekly basis. I genuinely still care for them and they genuinely care for me. There are GREAT men on this site, SBs – don’t let the bad ones discourage you. Keep hanging in there! I guess if the owner of this site made the process more stringent to ‘weed out’ fakes and flakes, he wouldn’t be as profitable. From a business sense, can’t say I blame him!

    I’m off to find a blackjack table before ‘dolling up’ to see a show tonight!

    Have a lovely night, all.

    May visions of Sugar Babies/Daddies dance in your heads…

    Elegant Sugar

  497. photogirl says:

    SDN – aww thanks! *cheesy smile*

    ElegantSugar – Thank you for sharing that. Have you been given my email yet?

    Flo – Hello there! Nice to see you back :)

  498. VA SB says:

    Oh, SDN, be still my heart….you are a dreamboat….. :-)

  499. VA SB says:

    Well, my SD is acting weird again…I told him that I was going to logon to my account and change my picture to one that didn’t show my face…..or that I was going to hide it for the time being…..Haven’t logged on since we starting our arrangement.

    WELL, he then starts saying how I must be looking for someone else since I’m logging in so he’s going to do the same thing….blah, blah, blah….I really, really, really, really HATE drama….I don’t have time for drama, especially from a man….how in the HELL can he say I’m looking for someone else when I suggested that I take my face pic “off” or hide my profile all together….. Grrrrrrrr….

    Damn!!! I just don’t have the energy to be treated like a fricking child or a flake. If I tell you that I’m with you, then dammit, I’m with you…..

    Where are all these suave men (aside from the Blog SDs, of course) who don’t play games, have confidence in themselves, and don’t want drama around every corner….Hmmm, that’s what I want to know.

    Sorry everyone…. :-(

  500. Lolita99 says:

    elegant sugar, your stories really do inspire me to still look for my special sd,but its really hard when the ones that i have met are fake.

  501. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    photogirl: I think I can die happy now, cause I’ve just seen a piece of heaven.

  502. Gemini29 *408140* says:

    I’m with Cleo… I think that the fairy-tale stories give me hope. Its that castle in the sky that keeps me going in this adventure and hearing about other girls who are finding it…well it keeps me motivated. If other girls can find it, then so can I! 😀

  503. photogirl says:

    SDN – I feel so left out *pout*

    Glad to see things have lightened up in here!

  504. ElegantSugar says:

    SDN: ha ha ha! Just read your pick up lines!! I will put my bath water in the finest champagne flute for you, babe! :)

  505. ESB says:

    All the “Sweet” stories have me staying here and hoping for the best, but I have not even recieved any messages in a week… wondering what is happening? I send out emails to the ones who look promising close to me, but no responses… guess I just sit and be patient. Gotta be someone out there for me!

  506. ElegantSugar says:

    Gemini29: Yes, those SD/SB relationships exist and I have lived it and witnessed it and hopefully, will enter another one very soon. (have met with 4 pot SDs – my bar has been set kind of high.) Isn’t it nice to come here when you are so excited about something and want to share and then also it is nice to come here seeking advice or maybe give advice or cheer another fellow SB up! Thank you for your response.

    Cleo: Let the stories inspire you to continue searching for the RIGHT arrangement that makes you so happy you go to bed smiling and wake up smiling!!

  507. BostonSB says:

    I’ve only had one by-chance ‘wow’ experience in my short sugar life. it was fleeting, but gave me just enough of a taste for me to pursue it fully about 6 months later…. and poof here i am!

    meeting with a pot sd for drinks tomorrow night and shopping on saturday with another pot sd. i’m nervous about first-meets, but excited at the same time :)

  508. ESB says:

    IRLSD: 30 minutes? YOU?? Cutting it short for you, from what I remember!

    SDN: You, my dear, are hysterical. Love your humor!

  509. ElegantSugar says:

    Whew…didn’t mean to take up so much real estate in my letter!

    Thanks, TT. She tans all day so I’m sure she’s lurking. Ha ha!

    I am going to scroll up and catch up on things now. I think I saw Flo Rida is back. I wasn’t on when you were,Flo, but hello and welcome back! I assume you are in Florida? I am too!

  510. cleo says:

    elegant sugar i for one choose to believe the lion’s share of what i read… and i don’t actually care if it’s true or not.

    i want to imagine that there are women out there having the experiences you describe and frankly i see no reason why some of you can’t have exactly those…

    i just want to imagine that life for myself, so please do keep the tales coming. frankly i find the high end tales almost easier to believe than the middling ones :)

  511. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    SDN – we *may* start up again just to have you do that 😉

  512. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Elegant Sugar – You have brought some wonderful and promising stories and experiences to this blog. I appreciate all the we give to each other here – please do tell your friend to try us again 😉

  513. Gemini29 says:

    ElegantSugar- I take most of everything written on the internet with a tiny grain of salt. That said, I think you can quickly and easily tell when certain people are embellishing their stories or when something is fiction or when a story is true. I do on the other hand believe that there ARE real fairy-tale SD/SB relationships (and the bennies that come with them) and that the people talking about them are true.

    And I agree, this is the only place I can talk about my adventures and experiences…. the sugar family is my support system :)

  514. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    Just remember you guys get to serious on me again I will whip up a big batch of Velveeta (think about it) and start the pickup lines again.

    cleo: :)

  515. cleo says:

    James: thanks! i’m now considering what to replace the middle or last one with… too many smiles *g*

    don’t blush, it’s just true
    NC Gent: *hugs* thanks, i was never really going, just had to go let the head of steam dissipate :)
    SDN: rofl – awesome

  516. James says:

    Thanks OC, and thanks for sharing — I was wondering about that. Hang in there. What I see is someone showing Character — someone who reminded me once how important that is.

  517. Lolita99 says:

    ive been a sb for almost a year and it doesnt just go for the sb’s being great ful,what ive come to learn is that 95% of the sd’s that ive met are VERY un greatful, if theyre not living up to they’re arrangement, they’re expecting me to drop everything just so i could keep them company or go to dinner with them, thats all fine, but seriously i can take my self to dinner or go with my friends. SDs need to realize that sbs have needs to, and if the needs arnt met dont be surprised,pissed or curious why we dont text back or call anymore.

  518. ElegantSugar says:

    PREFACE: THIS IS VERY LONG and I apologize in advance, but you must read in its entirety before posting a response. I have something I wanted to seriously discuss; leaving defenses and drama at the door, please. :)

    Hello, Sugars!

    I hope everyone is enjoying their day so far. Finally landed in Vegas! Feel like I’ve been flying for days. I caught up briefly on the blog early this morning before leaving for the airport, but haven’t had a chance to read anything new. I promise all of you I am not intending to re-invite any type of drama; however, I would like to express my thoughts on an area I personally found disheartening during the communication exchanges sparked by the whole incident. I would love any and all genuine feedback as I was really bothered and I was really enjoying the blog and wanted to be a contributing voice here in sugar land. Here goes…

    This whole “believe only 40-50% of what I read here and ignore the stories I think are exaggerated.” (That isn’t verbatim, but something like that was said a couple of times.) Is this how most people on here truly feel? I realize believing everything you read on the Internet shouts naivety in bold colors, but honestly, I have no reason NOT to believe the stories shared on this blog based on my OWN personal SB/SD experiences. After reading that, I quickly realize why some of my contributions of comments were completely ignored.

    Now a little bit of how I ventured into this world…

    Due to an unforeseen economic downturn in my personal situation a year ago, I decided to secretly pursue a SD/SB arrangement. I heard about this SA site on a talk show and decided to check it out. Within 2 weeks I officially had my first SD. My experience with him from day one was amazing beyond belief and I had to pinch myself several times a day to see if I was dreaming. The shopping and trips were non-stop. And just the difference in the level of how I was now being treated by a man opened my eyes up to a whole new realm I was happy to be in. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t date horrible men prior to my first SD, he was just in a higher level of gentlemanly class beyond what I was accustomed to. The way he dressed from head to toe was flawless (custom Italian suits, cuff links every day), the manner in which he spoke to people was on a different playing field and the absolute respect he commanded just from his presence alone was intoxicating, and then the extra layer of care he took to ensure I was happy was indescribable. I was really living the princess fairytale and because this is an area of my life I really must keep very private, I couldn’t share all of my newfound sugar happiness with ANYONE! I have always dressed immaculately myself so no one really thought twice about the new clothes and jewelry I was now wearing. There were times I was BUSTING AT THE SEAMS to tell my best girlfriend, but still, I chose to keep things to myself.

    My second SD experience was just as amazing as my first; amazing gifts, trips, even meeting high-profiled people of celebrity status, etc. Since I was still keeping this all to myself, being the writer that I am, I began to journal all of my experiences. One day, I stumbled upon this blog and NYC SB’s blog, Goal Digger, and suddenly I felt like I could FINALLY share my experiences with people who understand. People who wouldn’t judge me and would share their own stories with me and we would offer support to one another – I was ecstatic! Now after coming out of ‘silent’ mode and appearing actively on the site for about a week, I am disheartened to know people don’t even believe the stories that are shared by other SDs and SBs. Based on my own personal experiences of being a solidified SB for a year now, I know there are SDs who have the means to do some of the most amazing things for their SBs and I love to hear all the experiences! And instead of reading their stories with half my eyes open, I feel a flutter in my stomach and have a broad smile on my face for them; knowing the incredible excitement they feel!

    Like I have shared before, I have remained friends with both of my SDs and have frequent dinners with my first SD and his new SBs (he usually has 2-3 he is seeing at a time) and I told one of the girls about this blog and she was thinking of joining. Her first story out of the box would automatically put her into that “only believe 40-50% of what you read” category. Why? Because he bought her a Mercedes and made it possible for her to move into a beachfront condo among many other things he has done to enrich her life! Is that so hard to believe? I’M HERE TO TELL YOU THESE FAIRYTALE-LIKE STORIES ARE TRUE. Maybe not ALL experiences are of this caliber, but in MY experiences and the SBs I have met, they are very much 100% true.

    I guess I don’t see the reason or value in someone fabricating these stories at all. What is one to gain by doing so? Furthermore, what does a person gain by disbelieving a story? It is sad that people come on here to share their excitement with the very people who should be happy for them – but with a large chance they are just going to be ignored because their stories sound too good to be true.

    I guess there are different levels of SDs and SBs and unless you have experienced all levels, I personally don’t feel anyone has the right to discredit another person’s story. Remember, anyone who chooses to share on here is a fellow SD/SB who has reached out to others because there is commonality between all of us.

    Someone, (such as myself )who , for various reasons, cannot share openly this somewhat clandestine sugar world we have opted to live in, appreciates having a mutual place to share my stories; good and bad. I enjoy reading all of your stories and will do so NOT with a doubtful eye, but a warm kinship and a quiet knowing within myself that my lifestyle is accepted – if not anywhere else in my life – HERE, within this Sugar Bowl Blogosphere.

    Thank you for reading my very long-winded message.


    PS – if anyone is in the Vegas area and would like to meet up, let me know – I am free Thursday morning until the afternoon and would love a shopping or lunch partner!

  519. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    SDN – you always bring so much fun and charm to the blog – thank you so much for that! PS – ummm you sent someone an email and then don’t respond??? :O

  520. VA SB says:

    OMG!!!! SDN you are too much! those are hilarious….how in the world do you have all of those pick-up lines in your memory bank!

    That’s great though – I really needed this laughter tonight. Those really were great…. 😉

  521. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    cleo: Didn’t I see you on the cover of Vogue?

    Flo: Let’s make like a fabric softener and ‘Snuggle (snuggie?)

    AM/NM/AA: Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got fine written all over you.

    Taz: You’re so hot, I bet you could light a candle at 10 paces.

    OC: This isn’t a beer belly, It’a a fuel tank for a love machine.

    Midwest: I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.

    Niki: If god made any thing better than you he keep it for him self.

    ElegantSugar: Babe! you look so fine I could drink your bath water! (yes this is a gross – bite me it is still funny)

    SBnxtdoor: Excuse me…..Hi, i’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and i was wondering if i could interview you…

    Ca Dramin: You are the reason men fall in love.

    VA SB: Were your parents Greek Gods, ’cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.

    TXSB: I have an “owie” on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?

    Cali SB: Is your name Katrina? ‘Cuz baby, you rock me like a hurricane!

    ** Any one I have missed is a pure over site on the part of the author. No offense was intend or implied. If you feel you need a cheese pickup line directed to you just let me know **

  522. James says:

    Hi AM! Or not so a.m. today it seems … :-)

    OC, I’m blushing again … had a busy holiday season, then a quick vacation, kids still home from school, just now getting back into the swing of things. Missed you guys but lurking lately and staying out of the crossfire. Hope all’s well with you.

    NYC SB, that’s perfect, I just might have to go with that! But it might reveal too much of my MO … need to keep a few surprises up your sleeve, right?

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      James my secret blog crush was bound to come out sooner or later :) Looks like I will have to share you with Cleo :) I am sure we can work out a fair schedule!
      Things are going ok. My SD/BF relationship is having its normal ups and downs. The bumps in the road to his recovery has been hard for him personally and challenging for those who care about him. It is hard for me to not just go with my “old” ways of giving up and moving on. I hate that fickle girl. But for now I will give it my all. Going back into the sugar bowl has been a fleeting thought now and again. One day at a time :) Welcome back Sugar

  523. ESB says:

    WOW, I am SOO glad I missed all that last night. WTH?? I will agree on one thing though, the “F” word should NEVER come out of a LADY’S mouth.

    As for me? If my SD (if I ever find one) and I decide that things are going beyond the “arrangement” and moving forward to a relationship, I am all for it.

    How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement? Very important to me. I think it is important in ANY relationship. I want to feel as I’m adding to his life, and yes, seeing him “light up” when he sees me would be a major bonus for me as well.

    Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how? No, just observe and see how he responds to the little things. Does he thank the waitress, or treat her like she’s so beneath him. Little things like that tell alot about a person.

    >b>Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more? I would hope not. I would never play that game with anyone.

    Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book? Again, not my style. If someone does something for me, I let them know how much it meant to me that they tried. Small gestures go a long way with me.

  524. Gemini29 says:

    SDN – LOLOLOL!!! teehee- I liked the 5 cent line though.

    Taz- Awesome right? 😀

  525. Anna Molly says:

    SDN – I don’t need to think anymore…I AM IN LOVE. You are such a charmer I just can’t resist you anymore baby.

  526. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    Gemini: Cause I need your name and number.

    Taz: ** holding out my hand ** Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?

  527. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    LMFAO…defintely what the blog ordered 😉

  528. NC Gent says:

    My pickup lines are mere mortals compared to your repertoire of pickup lines, SDN!

  529. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    Gemini: You got a sports jersey?

  530. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    NC Gent: Props on the saluting! You are da man.

  531. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    Muse: Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.

  532. NC Gent says:

    Favorite cheesiest pickup lines???

    You must be a general because my privates are saluting you!

  533. Muse says:

    NYC SB – lol

    SDN – do you know all these lines by heart or are you looking them up?

  534. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    AM: You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line

    Taz: Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!

    Gemini: f I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.

  535. Anna Molly says:

    SDN – I think I’m in love…swoon.

  536. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    Gemini: I must be dancing with the devil, because you’re hot as hell!

  537. Pazaz says:

    so hard to read with such long posts by one person at time lol i miss chatrooms

  538. Gemini29 says:

    SDN – Oh you’re too good.

  539. ESB says:

    WOW, you all been busy, Lots to catch up on!!

    Just wanted to say HI!! I’ll start catching up, then come back to see what’s the hot topic today!

  540. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    NYC SB: Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?

  541. NYC SB says:

    muse – thats what she said!

  542. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    Muse: I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!

  543. Muse says:

    SDN – Please don’t stop. I’m enjoying this.

  544. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    AM: Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!

  545. Anna Molly says:

    SDN – I haven’t heard that one before…LOL.

  546. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    Taz: You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the blog!

  547. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    SDN – on the bedrock?

  548. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    Taz: Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.

  549. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Baaaaahhhhaaaaa – Fred Flintstone!!! Love you SDN!

  550. james.m says:

    James (nyc) It seems you’ve been here longer, so I’ll change – just as soon as I think of something better…

  551. Gemini29 says:

    lol take all the drama off the blog and its like the wind has been taken out of our sails lol

  552. james.m says:

    James – it sounds like I want to post as “Anderson Cooper”

  553. SD NEOhio (SDN) aka Fred Flintsone says:

    Hey All. Seems like the blog has been kind of slow lately. Maybe I can get you people fired up about something!!!

  554. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    IRL SD – omg no!

  555. IRLSD says:

    I had a frugal SB, and I liked it better. Much better to know the money I’m giving someone is not being wasted on getting trashed drunk at a bar or on a purse when the rent is not being paid.

  556. NYC SB says:

    James – Harvard Club SD… lol

  557. NC Gent says:

    Hi Cleo – good to see you back again ** hugs **

  558. Amanda says:

    Lisa, hope you feel better soon.

  559. Anna Molly says:

    Hi James!! Nice to see you again :)

    Guten Tag Flo!! :)

    James M – I was late to the party today…LOL

    Hi everybody!! :)

  560. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    As far as ‘extras’, I too am very happy with mentoring. I have found a wonderful SD that does just that. For now from a distance I am MORE than happy – perhaps in the next few weeks when we do meet it will be a very sugary end to my current search in ALL aspects :)

    Any other extras, (materially) are ‘nice’…however I am a very frugal SB and would much rather have my finances in better order so that I can focus entirely on my wonderful SD :) I am more than content with my agreed upon allowance and would not ask/expect my SD to give/offer more.

  561. VA SB says:

    DC SB – I sooooo agree with the Pitt/Clooney/Cooper statement…..I can keep wishing and waiting and hoping.

    Yes, Anderson Cooper is gay, but he is still a hot tamale and oh boy, if he wasn’t…..mmmm mmmm! :-)

  562. James says:

    Cleo, I’m blushing. By the way, it’s overdue, but I think the photos you finally selected are terrific, full of fun personality and physical appeal!

  563. IRLSD says:

    Taz, on the “extras”, it’s best not to ask. I used to ask all the time what I could get for an SB in addition to her allowance. I got them TVs, living room furniture, paid off several thousand dollar loans, etc. But SBs who keep bringing up broken cars, credit card loans, etc, etc are such turn-offs. If an SD asks at the beginning what extras an SB would hope for, the best answer would be, “To pitch in when I need things, within reason, things down the road if everything works out well.”

    There was one SB who was such an aggressive money grabber. At one point, she wanted these super-expensive shoes and honestly I wouldn’t have minded getting them for her at all, except that she was so aggressive about the whole thing. The shoe store was next to this sushi place and she tried to take me there when we met for sushi, but it was closed the first time, so she wanted the same sushi place again the next time we met! I changed the place and ran off after lunch, only to find myself across the street from the shoe place with her yet again, lol. She didn’t last long.

    Sounds like it’s a good thing I missed the blog drama. My two cents is that everyone doesn’t have to like each other to get along.

  564. cleo says:

    James (nyc) that’s a tough one, i have a small blog crush on your current self… so try not to change too much

  565. DC SB says:

    anderson cooper, brad pitt, and george clooney are how i *hope* my man will age.
    or if I could find an SD like either of the above ^ swoooooooon.

  566. James says:

    Hey james.m, I haven’t posted in a while and I know you’ve been active since then. But I wanted to make sure NYC SB and some of the other “old timers” recognized me when I weighed in on that particular topic. I’m happy to try out a new *nom de blog* as a courtesy to you and to avoid future confusion, so long as it’s clear to all I’m not trying to disguise my identity. James NYC doesn’t help much, it just means more typing for other people. Any suggestions anyone? Be careful though, the new name may start to speak in a different voice!

  567. DC *320283* says:

    Hey are there any blog SDs or SBs from Seattle?

  568. DC SB says:

    cleo – yes, i guess very simply speaking one could share that rule with those who are less informed w/ the LQBTQ community than those who are well-informed.
    drag queens are she in performance, and he outside of performance, although some do take it to extremes and like to stay in character even through everyday interactions by playfully referring to themselves as ladies/women/girls/fairies etc. But of course, no, this isn’t to imply they really wish they were female, just that they’re pushing performance beyond the stage.

  569. DC *320283* says:

    Welcome back Flo!!

  570. cleo says:

    anderson cooper does nothing for me… but i want to know how it’s possible that i’m the only one on the blog with a crush on richard branson?

    that guy is *mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm* and he does things like WINGWALKING!

    sooo hot.

  571. DC SB says:

    NYC SB – he is gay. which further makes me hate the gays for having all the hot ones :) especially the older hot ones! yumm. makes me which i was at least a boy so i could dabble. but all my gays refuse to even acknowledge my vagina. haha

  572. DC SB says:

    Muse – thank you :) i always appreciate fellow liberal collegers, we can sometimes be too quirky for mainstream taste, but we’re much more interesting :)

  573. cleo says:

    DC SB: you are, of course, entirely correct. i was referring pretty specifically to drag/transgendered folks who are living as the sex they weren’t born into.

    chaz became a he when chaz decided that’s what he was.

    but, when in doubt you apply (and i’m really talking male->female here rather than the other way around because i would never call a really butch lesbian “he” unless she told me she was a male) the gender in which they are dressed. and anyone transitioning in m->f is usually fairly obviously living as a woman.

    drag queens are she and not he… at least they are in vancouver and toronto. if you see them not in drag? they’re he.

    anyway that’s enough of that.
    also? OMG FLO !!


  574. NYC SB says:

    Muse – I have a little crush on him but its more of “he is an amazing human beeing” crush rather than “i want to rip his clothes off” crush…

    Also, I thought he was gay? Not that there is anything wrong with that 😀

  575. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Good afternoon everyone

    wow last night’s blog had adverse effects on my health. I must have gotten slight food poisoning from the spring rolls I ate yesterday as I was up all night throwing up. Just got home from a very hard day at work, I got no sympathy although I threw up 3 times at work. I still can’t eat anything.

  576. NJLady says:

    Afternoon Sugar’s

    WOW!!!! All my Children couldn’t top this drama if they tried, I’d like to use some of this for my next screenplay. lol. Glad to see everyone is friends again. If some of you SB’s, who are more knowledgeable, leave, what’s going to have to us new – kids-on-the-block?!

    let me know if anyone out there is a NJSB

  577. VA SB says:

    Oh yes, I do love me some Anderson Cooper, with his sexy self…… :-)

  578. VA SB says:

    Thanks Cleo – I missed that post – no offense implied by my question, was just curious. Be that as it may, I’m glad you’re back as well…

    It’s been a rough couple of days on the blog – but damn if I’m not practically addicted to this darn thing. I think with all the serious stuff / drama I deal with at work each day, the blog is a “fun” outlet. I’m glad it’s getting back to normal.

  579. Muse says:

    DC – I went to a very liberal undergrad school too and I really enjoyed your post. Thank you for sharing that.

    Hi Yaz! – Definitely mentoring. I know I will be successful. I just wouldn’t mind a little bit of good advice and a nudge in the right direction to save me some mistakes along the way.

    Also, am I the only one who doesn’t have a crush on Anderson Cooper? I mean..he’s attractive and well-spoken and compassionate…wait a minute. Why don’t I have a crush on him! He’s perfect! 😉

  580. cleo says:

    wow lots to catch up on

    to clarify, i do NOT think that it was okay that that person deceived nc gent in any way (and nc gent it was lisa and not you who called a transvestite an it, i didn’t mean to imply that you did and i’m sorry that what i wrote implied that in any way); of course they should have been up front about it.

    that said, the general response on the blog was really off putting to me as i read it all in a row with no breaks… by the time lisa said it regarding a human being i lost it.

    i don’t think it’s okay to lie to people but wow… i’m not sure that the way y’all ribbed nc gent was very sugary toward people who are already having a hell of a hard time…

    kiki: i asked a transsexual how i should address them regarding pronouns, that was her answer and since i have lived in the heart of the gay community for about 7 years of my adult life i think my opinion is pretty valid. that said, yes, we all have different ideas, that’s what makes us interesting.
    VA SB? (i think said it) no, i’m not a man

    but i’ve had a man go on a date with me SIMPLY to see if i was a real woman after he heard my voice and spied my adam’s apple in a photo.

    i’ve been called sir at least a hundred times on the phone by phone company and pizza delivery people alike

    i’ve had people argue that i’m not me because they know me and i’m a woman and they are clearly on the phone with a man

    just saying, big hands (because i work with them and have my whole life and can swing a mean hammer/axe/sledgehammer/spade/etc) and a deep voice and an adam’s apple do not a man make; i mean take a look at kathleen turner right?

  581. VA SB says:

    Ahhh – okay, I get the question now. Yes, definitely mentoring and the opportunity to get connected with the right people to help me get that corner office. Because ultimately, tha’s what I want – the corner office, executive assistant, salary out the ying-yang, perks that make my head spin, and all the power that comes with it. Yeah, that’s me. I don’t apologize one bit. So, if my SD can give me access to the right people, then I’ll be loyal to the end – even when the sugar relationship stops.

    NOW….if one of the wonderful SDs on the blog would like to help with the mentoring, access, etc., I would LOVE that….I don’t need to be your SB (really, I don’t) – you can just be an awesome person that I know and who introduces me to people that can help with my career…

    Other than that – the financial aspect will take care of everything else….

    :-) Ciao!

  582. DC SB says:

    Flo – like I said above ^^ I wasn’t really around when the official drama began or ended, but I do think your note was very mature. It takes the bigger person to apologize.
    Now, also as mentioned above ^ we can all kiss and make up.
    Sugar kisses all around muah! :*

  583. Amanda says:

    Yaz: Ditto the career mentoring. That’s every bit as important to me as a financial agreement.

  584. DC SB says:

    Yaz – I’ve also been confronted with that question a lot and it’s really hard to say. I already have a lot of “crap” (ie jewelry, clothes, purses, electronics etc) so I definitely don’t want to say, uh a new Tiffany bracelet? At the same time, if my SD just surprised me with a Tiffany bracelet I would be all putty and mush because he was thoughtful enough to think about me and it’s more the thought that counts.
    I would feel as though, going beyond my allowance and asking for something else (even if he offered) would still make me feel like I’m asking for *too* much already.
    Does anyone else (SBs) feel that way?
    I mean, I understand that SDs are wealthy and if they can afford an SB then they can afford a Tiffany’s bracelet, but .. idk.

  585. 2Chic says:

    Yay! Welcome back Flo.

  586. VA SB says:

    Hi Flo Rida – we’re not friends…yet… but based on the posts from others, I think I could learn a lot from you and I’m looking forward to many more of your posts.

    Your post above was nice – a bit tongue-in-cheek :-) – but very nice and I’m glad you’re back with us. Plus, it’s okay to be a drama queen — I’m one myself, although I’ve been “very” good on the blog.

    Glad to see you with us again!


  587. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Flo!!! MUAH! Missed you sugar :) I do hope we can all get along!

  588. Gemini29 says:

    omg, blog-o-drama! glad I missed out on all that… I like to live my life drama-free!

    So whats up sugar world? Appreciation in a MBA? Oh hell yes, there better be appreciation! If I don’t feel like I’m being appreciated, like my looks or demeanor are being appreciated, or that my personality or what I bring to the table isn’t being appreciated…then I’m out of there!

    Uh, what were the rest of the questions? Oh yes. I don’t test anyone, that is juvenile and non-genuine, and I prefer to be with genuine adult people. The “never satisfied” type of personality gets old REALLY QUICKLY. And sometimes it seems like the ones who show the least amount of appreciation get more, but that is because I think the negative stories get told more on the blog than the positive stories.

  589. Yaz says:

    We are all one big happy family again! YAY!!! 😀

  590. DC SB says:

    Holy lord. Lots of drama happened yesterday. Good thing I was out of the loop.
    I will say though, CaliSB – I happened to start lurking around the blogs around when fake SDs etc came into question, and I do think that yes, Flo was pretending to be whatever that SDs name was. That’s about all I can say on that matter because I don’t know her, or her relationship with anyoen else. I do think there was some catty/petty activity being thrown on both sides of the fence, so no one can really claim to be perfectly innocent- but considering it happened two, 3 weeks ago? Everyone should just kiss and make up :)

    Cleo – my undergrad is infamous for being extremely liberal and one of the most LGBTQ friendly campuses in the country. Having said that, of course referring to a transgender or transsexual person as an “it” is completely horrible (not sure who exactly said that here on the blog) but at the same time, clothes do not make the person their gender.
    Chaz Bono said it best when he (as we all know he was born a female, then transitioned to male) said (loose quote here): Gender isn’t about what’s between the legs, but what’s between the ears.
    Gender is conceived in the heart and mind of an individual and reflected as they please. In a similar way as a lesbian dressing more butch dyke than femme (lipstick) dyke would *not* consider herself a “male” by any means, so to does a gay (or straight) man (cross)dressing or dressing in drag not consider himself a female. Clothes are most often used as performance in gay culture. Drag is like couture in that the performers OVER-emphasize and exaggerate female aspects (such as extremely large/high hair, large breasts, white cheek bones, fake eye lashes etc) in order to enact a role on stage. It makes us then question, what is female? And within clothing, some lesbians prefer to wear male clothes not because they feel they are male, but because they wish to reject societal norms that were placed upon them – and so it becomes, again, almost a performance, as it is at once a protest that makes us question, what is society’s perception of female? And some lesbians prefer to wear heels and lipstick, not because they seek to protest the fact that society states women should be girly and like pink, but because they are standing firm in the belief that lesbians too can be as girly as the “straight” society perception of a female role.
    All of this is to say, transgender and transsexual, and queer – are very complex identities that will never be defined to “it” or “pants” or a “dress” but within themselves have unique situations that constantly bring us to question, what is gender?


    IRLSD: 30 minutes is much too short. She sounds rather boring – like she has sex down to clockwork and has meticulously planned her schedule as: Monday
    breakfast 9 – 930
    gym 930 – 1030
    class 1030-130
    sex w/ SD 130-2
    shower 2 – 215
    driving to work 215 – 230
    work 230 – 8
    and so on. Do you really want to have sex with a robot? Zzz.

    & as VA SB stated, we have made reservations for the DMV meet up if anyone is interested they should come by! :)

  591. Yaz says:

    Flo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😀

  592. NYC SB says:

    Yaz – the one extra I would ask for is career mentoring… and of course louboutins

    Glamazon – I will definitely ask around to see how your chef friends can help… although I am thinking non perishable foods would be super handy… I think that the resort we are staying in is providing food for all the volunteers

  593. Flo Rida says:


    OC and I have made peace and though my coming back may offend some (undisclosed) people, some people have asked me to come back and if that is for the greater good i’m guardedly willing to do so.

    I contritely apologize to a certain blogger for past, present and future offenses. Yes I do lie (but not on the important things), yes I am a drama queen and yes I’m far from perfect and yes I have caused offense (to you). I sincerely and unreservedly apologize. By way of explanation rather than excuse I overreacted in anger and regret what I said. Someone once told me that love cannot be bought, or bargained for it can only be given, and given freely and when it is returned it is the most beautiful thing in the world. Well forgiveness is the same, I can’t buy it or atone for it, only you have that power to freely grant it.

    I haven’t been reading the blog (apart from posting once as Lurky Lurkeson – first post first post first post!) but that was a 3am silly post which was moderated by the way. Other than that one incident of immaturity i’ve had no idea of what’s going on in the blog.

    To the friends who have supported me, I am humbled and thank you. Special thanks to (in no particular order) NYGent, TX-SB, DC, Beach, Cleo, Midwest, Gemi, NYSB, VC. Ophelia, Taz. Anna Molly – sie haben meine verpflichtung!

    To those of you who do not know me and must think i’m full of myself I say I am full of myself! But give me time, and with good grace, a strong sail and a fair wind, we may become better acquainted.

    If my coming back does more harm than good i’ll retire (for the 4th time :-) I did once post that I was a drama queen!

    As Yogi Berra once said ‘when you come to a fork in the road…. take it’. i’ll post more later, sorry for the diatribe…

    PS i’m not really female, or male, or human, i’m a koala bear chewing eucalyptus bark and making key strokes :-)

    ciao peeps, pax, love everyone!

  594. VA SB says:

    Not sure what you mean….material things or just warm and fuzzies?

  595. Yaz says:

    Uh Oh everyone ran away!!!!
    Do I smell?? lol

  596. Yaz says:

    Stupid question for the SBs but a question nonetheless…

    What are the “extras” that a SB may want to ask for in an arrangement?…other than the almighty allowance LOL…..If you were asked ” What else would u like?” What would be your answer?

    SDs fee free to chime in….

  597. james.m says:

    Hi AM: did you sleep late today? This is the first time in a long time that the new day on the blog hasn’t started with your cheerful *Good Morning*

    James: OK, which one of us is going to change our blog name? You even confused me, since I didn’t think I had posted today!

  598. VA SB says:

    IRLSD – wow, well at least she was to the point. But she definitely does not sound like who you’re looking for… :-)

  599. IRLSD – She is the epitome of an escort. I want to date and enjoy the person, go out, dine, travel, and of course I want intimacy. I thought this was sugar dating, what you two are limited to in 30 mins twice a week will be far from dating.

  600. DC SB says:

    So! before I begin the 2 hour reading of the blog. Let me answer the questions primero:

    How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement?
    Very important. Isn’t that the reason we sugar date? :) I don’t want to just feel like a piece of ass, in the same way I imagine my SD doesn’t want to feel like a walking credit card.

    Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how?
    No. As the SB I don’t test/probe/lay traps for – my SDs. I consider the arrangement to be about them (and they should feel the same, so vice versa we’re both selfless to the other).

    Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more?
    Wait, what? I think it’s more.. sugars who show less appreciation get less benefits.

    Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?
    Bad strategy, bad idea. Comes off desperate/needy/selfish/spoiled/etc.

  601. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Then keep on searching IRL SD! :) I have to agree with NCGent – if that is what you are seeking go for it, but it does sound escort-ish…

  602. DC *320283* says:

    30 minutes?? Talk about wham, bam thank you ma’am. LOL Doesn’t even leave much time for taking your clothes off. Jeez!

    Hi all, long time no write. Hope everyone is okay.

    And as for Flo, she has been nothing but helpful to everyone on the blog including me with no ulterior motives. But if she doesn’t want to come back I think we should respect that. I think what went on is between her and 1-2 other bloggers and they will work it out eventually.

  603. IRLSD says:

    NC Gent, exactly my thoughts. I don’t think she’s an escort because she is so newbie-ish about everything. But her view of this relationship is purely a physical one.

  604. IRLSD says:

    Also, to update everyone, last Friday I asked about my in-limbo SB who has a bunch of other sugar trips planned. Anyways, I texted her on Friday and asked her if she was free Sunday night, but she would not get back till late, so we’re seeing each other Thursday night instead. I guess I’ll just leave things in limbo while I search for others and see how things go. We’ve been texting a little every day. Having thought about it, there is no point in pushing her to commit to me when I am not completely sure about her. I guess I’m looking for some sort of love or lust at first sight so I just know it’s the right SB, but hasn’t happened yet.

  605. NC Gent says:

    Hi IRLSD — well it certainly doesn’t leave much time for an emotional connection, and it seems like the arrangement will be almost completely physical in nature, unless you just talk during some of the half-hour sessions. Personally, I would pass on that type of arrangement. Also, my immediate thought was that she is an escort.

  606. IRLSD says:

    So there is a new pot who I am supposed to meet, and I wanted to know what everyone thinks of this e-mail I just got?

    So, I am going to give you my schedule, and I’ll let you decide what you want to do. As far as my schedule, my free time during the day LITERALLY would be probably 12:45-4:15. I have school until 12:00pm and then have to be at work at 5:00pm. So, that is the time during my day that is free. If we work something out to where we meet at your apartment at 2:00pm 2x per week for about a half an hour everytime, then yes, things could work, since both of us know what this is, I don’t think either one of us need or want anymore time than that? Correct me if I’m wrong. I just know that you said you wanted someone to meet with twice a week, so I feel like we can definitely do it, only with the condition that you and I could only spend about 30 minutes together each time, which honestly, I think is plenty of time. If you agree, let me know.

    I don’t think this is exactly what I was looking for, but then again, there is something to say about such a simple and uncomplicated arrangement. Any opinions?

  607. Yaz says:

    Yesssss Amanda!!!!!! I did post something about Anderson and that little boy on the previous blog! :-) He made my heart melt. That guy is soooo passionate about what he does!
    and I agree with NYCSB that he became 1000000000 times hotter!! 😀

  608. NYC SB – I know several chefs that would love to volunteer their services (Their ability to caterer for very large groups even in very remote locations ) in Haiti. I would imagine that the ability to feed the masses would be a need right now. So I’m wondering if you know of any opportunities for them to help?

  609. NYC SB says:

    James – thank you for the kind words

  610. NYC SB says:

    Kiki – thats one way to let him down… you could also tell him the truth… you are not comfortable with the pay per play arrangement and it feels to you like he is looking for an escort… maybe (probably not) he will rethink his ways

  611. Wow lots of drama going on.

    Cleo – For the record I respect anyone and everyone and no human being is an “it”. That being said, wearing women’s clothing does NOT make a man a woman. It is also extremely disrespectful for a transgendered person to deceive a man by not disclosing his true status (i.e born with a penis). People have a right to know that someone they share a mutual romantic interest in was actually born as the gender that they present. As far as the man that Lisa saw in a department store that is his/her business. I will guarantee you that I am not alone in my opinion and I can assure you that I am far from a bible thump-er. Deception is always wrong!!!!

  612. Kiki says:

    hey guys , thanks VA SB, TXSB, Taylor, NC Gent and anyone else who offered advice. so i met him this morning… he was nice enough but you guys are right – he wants to meet 2 or 3 times/month, daytime only (nights and weekends are for his wife) and i don’t know… the whole thing just feels wrong.
    i told him i’d get back to him after a few other meets with pot sds, but the truth is, he’s pretty much the only person who has e-mailed me (other than “are u a sub?” which i seem to get a lot from other men). i’m going to tell him (part of) the truth – which is that i’m not comfortable with the fact that he’s married…. oh well. i thought this was going to be FUN!!

  613. NYC SB says:

    Amanda – Mr Cooper aiding that boy was beyond touching… he just became 1000000% hotter

  614. Amanda says:

    NC Gent: Love your saying!!

    Yaz: Did you see the clip of Anderson carrying the boy who was all bloody from being hit with a rock? It killed me!

  615. James says:

    NYC SB: Your long post is sheer eloquence. Hear, hear.

    Also, wonderful that you found a way to help out in Nassau.

  616. NYGent says:

    i actually think OC’s idea on deletion is a good one. For some reason a tinderbox got ignited, tempers flared, things got out of control, snowballed, and just got away from us. Many of us probably said some things we’d like to take back, myself included. I think we are past it now though.

  617. NC Gent says:

    Hi OC — I think it would be great if the posts from last night were deleted, well except for any comments that might pertain to perky breasts!

  618. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Taylor – I am not sure where it is in the blog archives – but search Flo Rida – she gave a wealth of knowledge on many topics (listed in point form), safety and travel to meet a pot being one of them :)

    NCGent – thank you for your humor :) You are right!

    TXSB – I agree and it is nice to see someone else admits to be human as well..

    OC – I agree it should be put to rest at this point. There is nothing to be gained at all. As far as posts being deleted – I don’t think that is an answer at all – but I am not the blog god so it does not matter I suppose :)

    Have a great day sugars!

  619. VA SB says:

    Hi Allll L – Couldn’t agree more, but although many of our SDs may have all the money they want, something simple to show that we “enjoy” spending time with them may go a long way. Soooo, maybe once you get to know him and realize that he’s a huge Dan Brown fan (for example), buy him a book that he doesn’t have….something like that. I think those gestures can go a long way.

    Kiki – I tend to agree that the pay per meeting can be circumspect. How about he arrange to split the payment in two and provide it to you monthly either via your bank account or through Paypal (I have one of those and it’s great). I think it would be difficult to spend time with someone and each time you go to leave, he hands you a stack of bills….Now, that’s not to say that you need to change things if you’re comfortable, but if you are feeling uncertain or uncomfortable with the arrangement, you should definitely discuss it with him.


    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Good Morning Sugars (a rainy one but none the less good) 😉
      It was a bumpy blog last night and I hope that this morning things will calm down.
      To blog or not to blog is an individual question we each must ask ourselves.
      Bloggers come and go and then come back again. That is the nature of the sugar bowl.
      The best outcome for any situation that can’t be resolved is to “Agree to Disagree”
      But seriously, I really don’t want to continue to add to the situation and I am hoping you all will move forward with a more supportive stance towards all who blog.
      I think Stephan should delete all posts related to last night…

  620. NYC SB says:

    Yaz – it is truly devastating… Nassau is one of the main ports where they load aid (food, medicine, etc) for Haiti. NYSE and I will be there this weekend and have commited some time (about 3 hours each day) to help with the sorting of stuff and loading them into the planes.

  621. NC Gent says:

    Hi Yaz — yes it is a tragedy what is happening in Haiti. I hope you are doing well!

  622. Yaz says:

    Muse~ I missed you again!!! :-) ‘Sup girl???

  623. Yaz says:

    Can we ALL move on now??? Thank You :-)

    In recent news, Haiti just got hit by yet another earthquake ( well their biggest aftershock) this morning……Jesus, can’t they get a break?? I am really starting to wonder….

  624. NYC SB says:

    Wow drama!

    Ok… here are my two cents on this… feel free to skip through

    Flo has been a great source of information… sure her experience is unique… sometimes unbelievable but for the cross country trip she has provided some undesputable evidence… I speak to her off the blog and she wants to make things right with Cali SB … negative karma is never good to float around… Other than that I will once again say that her advice was always on point… she really did try and help anyone and everyone out…sure sometimes she comes off harsh but she never said anything (advice wise) with the intention to bring harm onto another sugar member… I do miss her crazy stories on the blog and her advice. I am very glad that I have her email and can ask her for advice off blog.

    I ask all of you to try and keep this blog for what it is intended to be: sharing of sugar experience and offering help and advice to those who need it. Lets not judge anyone’s experiences… I dont question whether the stories posted on here are true or not… They are not mine and therefore I cannot judge. Some of us have had amazing experiences and others not so much. It is so easy for someone who hasnt had the best luck to think that people embelish the stories posted on here… for me? I have had the good and the bad…

    I have had awesome SDs who have supported me in the most wonderful ways and others who have hurt me… It is with the support of the blog members that I have overcome the hurt and learned from my mistakes. If it wasnt for them I will most likely still be with my first SD and hating myself…

    I have met such awesome people from all walks of life. All of these sugars have had an enormous impact on my life. OC’s guidance has probably shaped the way I view sugar dating right now. NC Gent and I share some similar experiences and both of us talking through them helped us reach decisions as to what to do. Flo has given me good advice on keeping my SD happy. Villa is just an amazing friend with whom I keep in touch with daily. Ababy (a one hit wonder blogger) is probably my best friend and the first person I could talk to about sugar life. CB is my partner in crime and we look out for each other with NYC pots. Midwest is probably the nicest person ever. NY Gent’s generosity reaffirmed my belief in NYC SDs… and the list continues

    This just goes to show a small picture of how this blog has affected my life… I can only hope each one of us has the same experience on the blog… So sugar family lets keep drama out of the blog and focus on being supportive towards each other.

    Rant over… thank you for reading

  625. TXSB says:

    Muse and Anna:

    NC Gent:
    LOL at your internet saying…but its very true. :)

    Re: Your 2nd Question
    I don’t see my SD as my BF. I’m ok with my SD having other SBs. The only thing I ask is honesty. I view my SD as a friend/lover. If he’s not thinking about me every waking moment, that’s ok with me. I don’t expect to be the “love of his life”…even if its just for now.

  626. Anna Molly says:

    Hi everybody :)

  627. Muse says:

    Alll L- I’m not sure if I was just put-down or complimented so I’m taking it as the latter. Thank you. 😀

  628. TXSB says:

    Good Morning Everyone! :)

    Hi to all the new bloggers who I have not “met” officially!

    Even *IF* you’re ok with “pay per play” arrangements…in my humble opinion, $300/meet is just cheap. I know girls who cocktail at bars and make around $250ish on a Fri/Sat night.

    Have fun on your date with your SD! :)

    Whether the SD is local or long distance really doesn’t matter for me. As long the 2 people can agree on the # of times they see each other, allowance, and the SD is willing to cover travel costs if any…..then I don’t care if he’s local or long distance.


    Taz Says:
    Class is much more than the words we speak. It radiates from within. It is in one’s essence – not their outward projection of ‘masks’.

    I can’t agree with the above statements even more. Personally, I know there have been many times in my life when out of frustration/anger I have used the “F” word towards others….but I don’t think that makes me classless….I think it makes me human. I have plenty of friends who have lashed out at me with the “F” word out of anger/frustration, but I understand that doesn’t define who they are as a person. If there is someone out there who is capable of having total control over what they say even when extremely angry/frustrated, then kudos to them. But personally, I’m not that perfect.

    Re: Flo Rida
    All I will say is that when I first joined the blog months ago, she was the very first person to befriend me, and gave me very valuable advice on and off the blog. I was completely new to sugar dating, and she gave me answers to some very basic questions without making me feel like an idiot. Although I have no way of controlling who does and does not post on the blog, I do wish Flo would return because I found her posts very informative and quite entertaining.

  629. NYCBella says:

    Midwest-Thank you for your response. And it does make sense. There’s more info that I haven’t shared (for obvious reasons), but I do agree with you 100%. There’s certain standards that I feel are not going to be met by pot #3 and despite my attraction towards him, I should not compromise on those standards. (Amazing what a good night’s rest will do for giving perspective.) 😉

    Well, I’m off to get ready for the day.

  630. midwest says:

    NYCBella – I don’t usually substitute arrangement for relationship. I feel its a very fine line in the sugar world. As long as all expectations are set early on, I think a relationship within the arrangement is great for the intimacy. We are dealing with human needs and for many women a level of trust and chemistry makes the iintimacy so much better. The important aspect is knowing where to stop so hearts don’t get broken and bitterness follows. That was a long answer to a short question. I hope it made sense.

    Taylor- I may have answered your second question above. To expand, I’m don’t see multiple peoople at one time and hope that the one I’m with provides the same attention.
    As for dating outside your city- james lives a few hours by car and its a comfortable distance. We both live in small towns and seek a certain level of anonymity. I would consider a LDR if an SD was in a hub. I enjoy learning about new cities and adventures. You have to factor in time/expense for SD.

  631. midwest says:

    NYCBella – I don’t usually substitute arrangement for relationship. I feel its a very fine line in the sugar world. As long as all expectations are set early on, I think a relationship within the arrangement is great for the intimacy. We are dealing with human needs and for many women a level of trust and chemistry makes the iintimacy so much better. The important aspect is knowing where to stop so hearts don’t get broken and bitterness follows. That was a long answer to a short question. I hope it made sense.

  632. NC Gent says:

    Hi Taylor — yes Kiki got offered $300 per meeting. Actually, cheaper than an escort because escorts are around $200 to $400 per hour…

  633. Taylor says:

    Three hundred dollars per meeting? I missed that. Yep, sounds like he’s trying to ‘arrange’ an ESCORT.

  634. Allll L says:

    You will never know unless you ask that individual.
    You want someone to be yours, own them?
    I can sense a high degree of willingness on your part.
    If it is mutual, I’d love to hear more of your story.
    This site is good. This, I can assure you.

    pros and cons of having a SD who is in your city vs. a-plane-ride-away?
    I love easy access and flying is thrilling!
    It won’t bother me either way.

    how important is it that you feel that your SD has an insatiable passion for you and is (relatively, if married) exclusively involved with you? Do you mind if his interest is lukewarm/somewhat-strong but perhaps he has outside pursuits as well? i.e. he’s not counting down the moments until he gets to see you soooo desperately because he’s maybe crushing on others simultaneously or keeping one eye open to others….?
    I need some space sometimes. I do not need to see anyone everyday but I’d like to think they are thinking about me. If intimacy is involved, i will demand exclusivity. I do not mind if they are keeping an eye open but I’d expect them to let me know when they make a decision to get involve with another.

    “I need to feel like he is crushin’ on me pretty hard, and the little gestures that show it without words are the ones that melt me and have me plotting similar gestures in return.”
    What if the SD is waiting for you to initiate such gestures…and those gestures would have him plot his treats?
    It’d be funny if two people are waiting for the other to act first!

  635. NC Gent says:

    So I have read through the blogs and I am reminded of one of my favorite internet sayings that is also very politically incorrect…. so if you are a PC kind of person, please don’t read any further….. “Arguing on the internet is kind of like being in the Special Olympics…. you may win but you are still retarded” Thank you in advance for any abuse that you may be offering!

  636. NC Gent says:

    Hi Kiki – not sure if this post is too late, but I think you should decline the $300 per meeting offer. IMHO the guy is looking for an escort not a sugar baby. Best wishes!

  637. Taylor says:

    Ok, ok, re: the blog topic, I’ll answer it too.

    How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement?

    VERY. I need to feel like he is crushin’ on me pretty hard, and the little gestures that show it without words are the ones that melt me and have me plotting similar gestures in return.

    Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how?

    Nope, apparently it’s just there or it’s not.

    Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more?

    I have no idea, I’m too green!

    Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?

    It’s not me. So I can’t fake that.

  638. Taylor says:

    Not to change the subject from all this lively drama, but…. TWO QUESTIONS for SBs!!!!!!!

    First one: pros and cons of having a SD who is in your city vs. a-plane-ride-away?

    I’m single, so my discretion isn’t the top priority. But it’s a small city which feels more like a village sometimes, and so it’s hard not to run into the same people when out and I don’t want to have friends of mine with raised eyebrows about an older guy. However, if it’s a married SD in my city does that potentially solve my issues, since he won’t want to be so visible in the public scene with me.

    I also LIKE traveling outta here and getting to other places. It’s nice to have a reason to. However, I get bored during the stretches of time at home, if there’s no one around to play with. One here and one away? :) Actually no, I prefer the concept of just having one SD. But I’m new so maybe I’m being naive. There are very few men in this area who can truly afford to be a generous sugar daddy who provides a monthly allowance plus spoiling, so…. it would be a tough thing to even find one, I think, and especially one that I would find chemistry with.

    There’s one prospect, however. I put up an incredibly erudite, articulate ad about what sort of arrangement I’d like to have and what sort of man I’d like to have it with, on a dating site for this country, and I got immediately an answer from a very intelligent sounding man. He’s just 6 years older, pretty good looking from 3 photos, and a partner in a start-up IT company, and married. He wrote several long paragraphs in flawless english. Good sign. He says he’s been on a search for quite some time for a truly charming, stunning, princess to spoil and pamper but hasn’t found anyone that really wowed him enough to want to bother with it. When saw my photos and says he’s mesmerized already and would like to set up a date. I wrote back and explained exactly what I’m seeking: #1- friendship as the basis, I need to LIKE him #2- sexual attraction growing relatively early on and my being able to imagine it growing stronger, #3 – him being generous with a stable allowance because he likes me too and simply wants to help, and #4 – us having the same idea of fun together and seeing eye to eye on how to have a great time together, what to do/where to go, as well as bedroom activities. I.e. I like fine dining, theaters, jazz clubs, comedy shows, museums, and of course, shopping, and having the man behave like a complete gentleman and have me believe I’m the only woman on his mind not just that moment but perhaps that entire week or month (despite him being married). He’ll call me this evening. Let’s see. I am surprised it only took 3 hours after posting an ad in this country to get a very thoughtful, long response (and because it’s in english I know it was written just for me, not copy/pasted) from a great looking guy in my age range. Who seems to be down with the program. I thought it didn’t exist over here, given that there’s one large middle class and that’s about it, and traditional gentlemanly manners/chivalry are out the window and the locals behave with no class whatsoever.

    Now that I’ve been shopping around a bit and gotten even a bit burned by feeling neglected by the first SD I got weak in the knees for, I realize that I do need a pretty strong level of passion also on HIS end, for me to feel secure and enjoy this… if he’s married, I want to imagine he’s not seeking anything besides, me,a nd his entire libido is wrapped up and focused in my direction, for the period of time that the passion is working. And I’d like to be equally into him, but it’s more important to me that I feel that he’s super into me and isn’t shopping around mentally or in actuality.

    SBs: how important is it that you feel that your SD has an insatiable passion for you and is (relatively, if married) exclusively involved with you? Do you mind if his interest is lukewarm/somewhat-strong but perhaps he has outside pursuits as well? i.e. he’s not counting down the moments until he gets to see you soooo desperately because he’s maybe crushing on others simultaneously or keeping one eye open to others….?

    I have no other promising prospects right now other than the overseas pot SD I met with two weeks ago who I’ve gotten pretty burned by already, who may or may not be seeing me again by the end of the month. Any of ya’ll out there scrambling around to find some good prospects but not having it pan out so easily? It’s not that I’m not the whole package, I am, but…. well I’ve only been searching for a month and had a couple of first dates, so perhaps it just takes time to find that mutual attraction which is also coupled with mutual intentions on the specifics of an ideal arrangement.

  639. Allll L says:

    Many have expressed the need for appreciation. I think identifying peoples expectations is important in understanding individuals.

    VA SB:
    I find the willingness to reciprocate a virtue. However, in SD/SB relationships the SBs expectations are limited. What do you think?

    I view what you term “human nature” in the sense of gratitude as the “norm”. A friend thinks the same way like you do for the need of recognition.

    “…just let me see you noticing some of the ways i help you, you’ll never see them all of course”.
    Funny line, I wonder which ones you expect them to notice and if they are aware of your expectations…

    “where’s the challenge in that?”
    Someone once told me simple is boring.
    Oh! and I think a man wants the exact opposite of the kind of personality they describe in a woman. However, when it comes to physical features what a man describes is what he wants/desires.

    TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz):
    I am drawn to the idea that when it comes to appreciation, the SB is likely to carry most of the burden, feel compelled to or simply more likely to react that way. I am not sure why my thoughts are geared this way.

    Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?
    ” An arrangement should be mutually beneficial,…”
    This statement sounds nice….Are you implying satisfaction is what some might be seeking on here? That would be impressive!

    Midwest Mistress of the Dark:
    You caught my attention mentioning a relationship when discussing a mutually beneficial arrangement (MBA)!
    All relationships are not MBAs but all MBAs are relationships. Which do you prefer?
    “Boys are not stupid, girls are just smarter”- says a friend.

    A lack of appreciation/gratitude signify taking advantage of your generosity?

    I like your idea of test. I also think it is likely to make a person focus on negativity.

    One needs to be attentive around you, I am guessing.

    You must be easily pleased if appreciation is the “whole point” of your SD/SB arrangement.

  640. 2Chic says:

    Taz…. Now you sound like “My Girl”. Big sugar hug just been sent your way… : )

  641. 2Chic says:

    Hopefully the trivial spats will be put aside so we can focus on what this blog is about.

    My .02: I do not know where you live. It sounds like all he wants is sex, and wants to pay for just that, … that is what escorts are for. Honi….love YOU enough to desire better. There is a reason he has been through four babes within a few years. I think it is disrespectful.

  642. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Thank you Yaz…and 2Chic..I rest my case. My life has been too wonderful lately to poison myself any further…

  643. Yaz says:

    For Heaven’s sake arent we all adults here????!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

    CaliSB, I read your long post to Taz and reread it again and it seems to me that the fact that Flo dropped the F Bomb is one of the reasons why you are so mad at her. You repeated that word at least 6 times in your post.
    Listen, we are all adults here and I believe we have ALL heard wayyyyy worse than that in our personal lives! I am way younger than you but it would take a WHOLE LOT more than someone saying “F… you” to me for me to get REALLY pissed. When you are part of a blog/forum you have to have a very thick skin because stuff like that is bound to happen.
    Many bloggers here have been called FOS by other bloggers ( and wayyyyy worse than that!) and yet they kept blogging and didnt make a big deal out of it! In earlier blogs last year Lisa has even been called all kinda of names by a fellow blogger and I admire the way she handled the whole thing.
    Would it change everything if Flo came back today and apologized for dropping the F Bomb to you??
    In that case, I am getting on my knees and apologizing to you on her behalf!!! Im sincerely apologizing to you on her behalf and on the behalf of EVRERYONE ELSE on the blog for what she said to you.
    Can we all move on now??? Can we please stop calling each other liar this liar that, trashy this or whatever…..
    This is getting very toxic and it is the very reason why I am not even blogging like I used to…SMH

  644. sb-emy says:

    Um ok, there’s a huge amount of drama since I last lurked.. but this is what has been happening across a mutual site, the site I joined just recently.

    I’ve got a date! Yay, so our arrangement is roughly two meetings a week, a few hours each and a 500 a week allowance, with no dinners just visits to his place.

    I met up with him a few days ago, and have had other potential sd’s contact me from other states – but I find myself somewhat attracted to this guys sd experience (having had 4 sb’s over the past few years), the arrangement should be nothing new, or awkward one hopes.

    it’s all rather exciting and new to me, and he’s asked many questions and set out a handful of expected and guidelines, boundaries needed incase one party becomes more involved or ‘confused’, but i will be given a three month trial period, with expected intimacy and exclusiveness.

    i’m really not sure what will happen (aside from ‘intimacy
    during these meet ups, but i suppose i will have to ask won’t I?)


  645. 2Chic says:

    Cali SB

    Personally I would have made contact with Flo before I said anything else about the situation. We are all grown women, and it’s not good to discuss this with the blog when clearly it is between the two of you. So she said something you did not like, as long as you harbor it, it will grow like a vine of bitterness. Baby girl… as long as you have breath in your body, people are going to say things that you do not like. You either rise above them, to their level, or beneath them. I hate to sound tough, but the two of you need to work it out. This blog is not about Flo and yourself. And….. if ANY OF US leave the blog because “she/he said something I didn’t like, so I am going to take my ball and go home”, then that tells me a lot about that your maturity level. Rise above the nonsense.

  646. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Cali Sb – you are so playing the victim. You started something and you are refusing to finish it – you are avoiding it so you do not have to take accountability. Yes we said to ignore posts that you did not like – HOWEVER – you started something by poking and prodding her and trying to keep the mask of the victim in tact. NOW you decide to follow our advice? But not before…hmmmm…Definitely NOT classy or sugary.

  647. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    You are right she is away from the blog b/c some people made her feel BAD. With their JUDGEMENTS. Her character was diminished and her integrity as a human being. She had every right to lash out. To be honest when you came on here and DAYS later had a huge run in with violence with your ‘ex’, you were ‘living’ with…could have been a complete b/s lie – someone coming on the blog to play victim to get some sympathy and perhaps a handout. It is all a matter of perspective. But if someone called you a LIAR – based on an ASSumption – b/c that is what a few ‘new sb’s’ at the time did – would that have been fair? But it was all done before on the blog – so clearly we could have ASSumed the same about you. Instead we were warm and caring – sugary. Welcoming. Maybe you should go back through the blogs and see who did welcome you. You were very welcomed on the blog. You have since then shown that you are a real SB looking for much of the same as many SB’s on this blog. Flo has proved – starting looong before you and I arrived by her wisdom and spirit that she is indeed a TRUE sugar. When salt is in the sugar packet you are allowed to say a F you or two IMO. Her being VULGAR – using the “F” word gives you the God given right to judge?? Did you predict that she would say F you – since you first hung her? Apologize for HER appalling behaviour? Seriously – sweetie – re read everything written here tonight. You have alienated Flo – past and present, and you are now alienating yourself by being completely unsugary with a simple plea from a caring blogger(s). No one else – you did that and you can own that. That is the truth. You accused her of lying BEFORE she said a very warranted Fuck you. Did it attack your integrity? Your self worth?? Did she name call? Or lash out b/c she was HURT! She needs to apologize to you? I think both of you need to apologize to each other, or at least hear the girl so you can stop spreading blasphemous LIES (BUT ‘SHE’ IS THE LIAR? – again I think you are seeing your reflection somehow) – or “MAYBE’s” since you really do not know. So many people are saying they want her back – b/c what she added was quality, depth and wisdom. If I left the blog, and perhaps yourself, I am sure we would not be quite so missed or long lived in ppl’s minds. This closes everything I have to say. Happy sugar hunting everyone. Signing off.

  648. 2Chic says:

    But will not contribute in a space where people are made to feel horrible and forced away from something

    Now what if we all felt like you? I guess we would all leave the blog, and what will happen to so many of us when we are in a tough spot? Heaven forbid some new babe seeks the blog for advice and no one is posting because of something so trivial and negative. What if that same babe ends up in a horrific situation that could have been avoided if we would’ve chose to NOT let the little negatives stop the large amount of good we were doing. This is about all of us, not a few people who disagree. The blog is bigger than that. Taz YOU are bigger than this, and so much more wiser than to let confusion dictate your choices. If you leave…. who are you hurting? Yourself, a chance to sow a good seed in another life. I love your intellect, DON’T make me take a trip to Canada!!!! :0

  649. Cali SB says:

    OC — I just saw the 10 o’clock news replay. There was a tornado in Huntington Beach today!! Is everything okay down there?! My driveway keeps flooding up to the bottom of my car door, I’m afraid that when it rains harder tomorrow I won’t be able to leave my apartment because my car will flood out. Figures, I have a job interview tomorrow! Oh and just now the news said there was a small earthquake tonight here. haha Perfect. Armaggedon anyone??

    NYGent — That was my point. I’m not saying EVERYTHING she said was a lie, I’m just saying that it’s not possible for everything she said to be true. Seriously, it doesn’t make a difference to me, it never once affected my life, I just pointed out the inconsistancies in the story, that is all. Not once did I say anything derogatory or mean, I just said it was fishy and pointed out the similarities in grammar and message composition and let it go at that. It was absolutely not justified for her to tell me or OC “F— you”, however, and that is the reason I don’t care to converse with her at all. That’s what my issue is with her, not the fact that she did or didn’t lie. That has nothing to do with her being on or off the blog, it just means that I will not be talking to her if she does return, but I have never been anything but nice to anyone here even if it wasn’t reciprocated.

    Taz — No one is feeling alienated here but me. I don’t know how many times I have to say that I don’t care who posts on the blog, if I don’t like them then I am not reading or replying to their posts (which is what you and others suggested, but somehow when I keep saying that, I’m getting persecuted for “ignoring her”.) Flo did NOT try to reach out to me. Having her ask Midwest to ask someone who has my email to give my email to Midwest to give to her is ridiculous. I don’t give my email out to just anyone and she can figure out how to contact me (this is a public forum, you know) in another way. As I said, she decided to publicly tell myself and OC to “F— you” so she can publicly apologize for her apalling behavior as well. The fact that she gave “good” advice to myself or anyone in the past is not relevant to the fact that she may or may not have lied nor does it negate or excuse the fact that she was vulgar to me. I said I don’t recall exactly what she said because my life doesn’t revolve around the blog and I’m not going to say verbatim when really, I don’t care about this at all, so I’m not going to go back in the blogs to look and I don’t care to be scrutinized for getting a single word incorrect. What I do know for sure is that all of the details she gave aren’t plausible to all be true and therefore at least some of it was a lie. I don’t care about that, I care about the fact that she told me and OC to “F— you” for no reason as I never attacked her, and for the last time, I don’t care to associate with someone like that. I have never ONCE been mean to Flo or anyone else, not once. Please feel free to go back in the blogs and find anywhere that I was, because you can’t. Pointing out inconsistancies in someone’s story is not mean. Telling someone “F— you” is. And you’re right, it does seem like she feels justified in doing so since she can cause all of this drama but never be big enough to apologize for being so crude and downright nasty. And I was gone from the blog for quite some time around the holidays so don’t try to use me as a scapegoat for why you haven’t been around because I wasn’t even here to notice that you OR Flo haven’t been here. I just talk to the people who ARE here, I don’t think about who isn’t unless it’s someone I talk to regularly. I don’t mean that to be harsh at all, I just mean that there are a LOT of bloggers here so I usually don’t notice if people aren’t around because there is so much to catch up on as it is and I just don’t think about it.

    2Chic — The negativity is exactly why I never wrote a single thing about the situation (I wasn’t even aware there WAS a situation) after pointing out the inconsistancies. Internet drama is so stupid and pointless, just like any drama. I keep that out of my life, there is no need for it. It’s unfortunate that somehow pointing something out is a reason to be attacked and felt okay to be told “F— you” by someone, and I wasn’t going to just let myself be the scapegoat for someone else’s disgusting behavior. But I’ve spent long enough talking about something that doesn’t make a smidge of difference in my life. I’m done repeating myself because people are talking in circles.

    For the last time, I have not mentioned a single thing about Flo before it was brought up tonight. I am giving my reason for ignoring her posts if/when she does decide to return. You don’t have to agree with me (something about unique people here, right?) but you should respect my decision to just ignore her (as has been suggested and which I said even before that) like I have been. I could see if I said “F— you” to her if she came back (wait, that’s okay, right?), but I have been nothing but civil even when she didn’t deserve it, so if anyone has been un-sugar here it is everyone who keeps prodding me about a situation that shouldn’t even be talked about because it’s ridiculous. It was never a situation to me and still everyone seems to keep trying to make it one. I would have never said a word about it if people didn’t keep saying things about it to me here, which never should have been done in the first place. As far as I am concerned there has never BEEN a situation involving me and Flo. Pointing something out doesn’t create a situation, had I lashed out back at her nasty comments to me THEN there would have been a situation, but I didn’t. I have not been mean to a single person on this blog. Emailing everyone off the blog and asking them to get involved in drama that doesn’t even exist is incredibly immature and unneccessary. It’s not right to email multiple people and ask for my email address because I will not give it to her andn it’s wrong to put those people “in the middle”, especially multiple times. Until the other day when I gave my email to SoCal SB’s about the meet, only THREE people on the blog had my email address, that’s it.

  650. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    2Chic – my girl – I HEAR you – trust me I do. But will not contribute in a space where people are made to feel horrible and forced away from something. Have you noticed I haven’t been around so much since it all happened?? I can’t pretend everything is ok when people have been so mean…and feel JUSTIFIED in doing so.

  651. 2Chic says:

    Taz, you BETTER not leave this blog!!!!….

    If everyone keeps letting the negative control them, it wil bring an end to what has been a positive and nurturing haven. Obviously the blog does more good than harm. For that very reason, we should never let the negativity of a few affect this positive environment for many. There’s so much more good than bad on this blog. Never forget why we are here, to help each other as a family. Just like any family; some will disagree, but we do not walk away from the entire family because of the negativity of a few. I am also speaking to all my Sugar sisters who are sitting out. Stand for the greater good of this blog. Never give up your power to do good due to negativism in people, situations, or events. If you do, you have given that person, or thing the power to control you.. This my dear,… is negative, choose the greater good. It totally outweighs the bad.

  652. 2Chic says:

    Yaz!,,,, I love you!!!

    Very well put…..clapping.
    As I was reading (catching up) your words expressed my thoughts to the T.

  653. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    NYGent – let’s do this – I am sooo down!! Anytime – weekend works great for me and I am sure many SB’s! :)

    Elegant – the name is kind of a joke that started late night on the blog one night…and continued a bit and it stuck til I can think of something better :) It is a partnership with Naughty Molly and Alluring Anna…only I don’t have sisters 😛

    Gail – you hit it on the head – wise sugar! I hope I am around to know you better :)

    I was going to leave this alone – I stated my opinion – but I do have to be clear here. Yes everyone has FREEDOM of choice but to all sugars avoiding/ignoring/or trying to put the blame on Flo – you cannot make someone feel so unwelcome and then say it is their free will. To be honest reading this I was saddened with much of the apathy and poison and really don’t know if this fam is for me.

    CaliSB – I like you – I like everyone on the blog b/c they are unique and ANYONE who posts has something to offer someone, if not you, or me personally. NYGent is upset b/c no one should feel alienated when we are all here to support each other. He is passionate about another person’s feelings and human RIGHTS – he did not attack you at all. Not sure if it was you or not, but definitely a California SB – when they first joined the blog had some problems with violence with their ex – I do recall this was about a month before you say she lied. Anyhow – Flo gave nothing but compassion and if I do remember correctly very valuable info to the sb in need. I don’t think what she has gotten in return after helping so many is called for. Perhaps this lady you speak so harshly of has really been THERE and DONE that…she certainly has a WEALTH of knowledge to back up such a ‘farce’. Perhaps then it can be true, even if it has not been something that has been true to you?

    Is a simple let bygones be bygones that hard? NYGent did not lash out at you. How did anything that took place so competely offend you in the first place? Maybe I am completely out of the loop and there is more to it, but as far as I can see she is defnitely a strong personality and obviously threatening to many, especially those that are insecure, however she is also a compassionate and real human being that should be treated as one. I would not have anyone crucified for what one ‘thought’. Who are we to judge? I do believe labeling someone a liar is not what the blog was created for either…just b/c it is not YOUR reality does not mean it is not HERS.I don’t see how you could KNOW anything about Flo or the situation that took place…except for what YOU saw. The perception that YOU had. Until you have seen it from many perspectives it is not very sugary to call someone a liar on one closed minded perspective alone.

    Just for one moment imagine that your perspective is different and everything Flo said was in fact true. We are all unique and her reaction was not the same as yours of course, but you can’t understand where she is coming from? How NOT being accepted for who you are is alienation? How she would NOT FEEL WELCOME!? Everyone – really?!?!Where we are ALL supposed to be a family? Did you know that accusing someone of something that is FALSE is more damaging and hurtful than accusing someone of something true? Perhaps that was why her reaction was so strong?? If I was accused in that manner, I would not feel welcome either – public forum or not. NYGent did not ask you to associate with her right now. He was just asking for a little sugar towards a fellow SB. She is not even here to defend herself and you are calling her out? Taunting her it seems. Your attacks are outlandish, she was trying to resolve this OFF the blog. You were the only one who was not being sugary. B/c of that this blog IS being poisoned – not in PRIVATE as FLo asked for, as you said, many times now…

    As humbly as I can say this – you are not being the bigger person by ignoring everything. You are not even giving her a chance. You are avoiding it b/c maybe…just maybe – she IS telling the truth. You called the girl a liar in a sugar forum. She said F*@# you. You won’t talk to her now when she is trying to reach out to you? It was ok to acknowledge her to make her feel alienated though? Am I truly missing something – do the two of you know each other IRL? Is there some crazy grudge here? You seem to be taking it pretty intensely to ignore someone who asked for a bit of your time, but claim you do not care. You can be HATEFUL enough to call her a liar over and over, and still not give her your time after you have trashed her vehemently? You claim Flo is TRASH now b/c she used the F-bomb? Really?? I use it quite often myself. Does that also mean I am trash? Class is much more than the words we speak. It radiates from within. It is in one’s essence – not their outward projection of ‘masks’. I find it interesting you accuse her the way you do – we often look for the faults in others we see and deny in our own selves.

    CaliSB – reading further – you cannot recall the details? You called someone a liar without first knowing, or at least asking for verification? That being said Flo has provided MANY bloggers with ample evidence I am sure – she sent it to me but I felt disgusted at the thought of someone thinking they have to PROVE themselves to me. And never opened the attachments. I am sure she would like to offer you the same opportunity, but you are not open to maybe admitting that you could have been a bit quick to judge IMHO…which obviously does not seem so humble anymore 😛 In that this blog is titled SUGAR APPRECIATION – could we ALL not let bygones be bygones and appreciate each other ALL as unique and wonderful sugars??!

    That is my 0.02 – take it or leave it. I suspect most will follow the flock.

    I haven’t decided if I want to be here on the blog, even if I am allowed back. I have never felt such a vibe of UN-sugary – even on my very worst sugar disaster :(

    Uncommon – I would opt for email in ‘most’ situations myself. Depends what you feel most comfortable with :) And I suppose how “close” the two of you have become…

  654. Jayde5502 says:

    I am interested in a NoCal meet! I live in Oregon so that would be easier for me to attempt. Any other Oregonian sugars?

    Is being an Oregon resident a bad thing?

  655. Yaz says:

    Oh also…..Cleo you are coming back right?? :-(

  656. Yaz says:

    NYGent said

    “There are many, many “stories” on this blog that are, shall we say, suspect, from exaggeration of SB/SD “successes,” and fictitious “pots,” to anonymous bloggers pretending to be somebody that they aren’t, to people reappearing under new names when it’s obvious they are former bloggers with a “nom de plume.” It is just part of the territory, and I’ve given up trying to separate the truth from the “lies” and am very hesitant to accuse people of the latter. If all of us called each other “liars” every time we disagreed with or were aggrieved by something they said, or doubted their stories, there would be little left to the blog. I personally discount about 40-50% of what is said on the blog…”

    AMEN TO THAT!!!!! :-)

    Believe me guys, not everything that is being said on this blog is true….Some people just loooove to over-exaggerate their experiences so they could feel important or seem more successful in the sugar world than others. Ex: I could start saying tommorrow that I have found a multi-millionaire SD who showers me with $$$$ and takes me on expensive shopping sprees and has my closet overflowing with designer clothes or shoes, takes me around the world, introduced me to the Pope blah blah blah when I know damn well none of it is true. How the hell can you all verify that only 20% of that is the actual truth??? After all, this is a blog, and no one knows what REALLY goes on in people’s real lives! Calling a blogger “liar” this or “liar” that will only transform the blog into a war zone.

    If someone feels like they want to come to the blog and feed us with lies about their SB/SD life then LET THEM! If that’s what floats their boats then fine!!! lol :-)
    If you dont like someone’s posts just skip it :-), If you feel they are “stretching” the truth……SKIP THE POST! :-) lol
    AYE for Flo’s return!

    Gail~ No Steve Wynn is not my dream SD……I DREAM of WORKING for the man because he is a visionary and he has accomplished amazing things with his resorts and other business ventures but I dont see myself being intimate with him…..Just not my type….lol Just being real :-) ( I hope he is not reading this LOL)

    Oh and yeah Cooper is my hero! I just hope he doesnt get hurt doing his job in Haiti…. :-(

  657. NYCBella says:

    Grrr…I can’t sleep.

    SBNextDoor. A guy friend of mine gave me the best advice several years ago for how to let someone know you aren’t interested in them. If he asks you out, simply look him square in the eye and sincerely say. “Thank you, but I’m just not interested.” Men respond so much better if you’re direct and to the point. Oh, and don’t make any big deal about it…just play it off as if he asked you if you wanted mustard for your burger. And, voila…things will be back to normal and you’ll be just “one of the guys” in no time. If you go the route of making excuses or saying you’re “seeing someone else” it won’t be an absolute “No.” Which means he might still pursue you, and then things will only get more awkward. After the first time I used the “I’m just not interested” phrase (which I was so nervous and unsure of), and saw how effective it was to be blunt and up front, I’ve found it soooo easy to navigate the waters of unwanted suitors. Good luck!

  658. whatsitgnatake4utobemine says:

    is it me or is this site just not working out for me at all?

  659. Kiki says:

    although you did tell bob that you had a date… so maybe something like “i’m casually seeing someone at the moment.. ”

    NIGHT!!!!! :)

  660. Kiki says:

    hmm SBnxtdoor.. it’s a tough one. i kinda do the same thing: if i think i know what might happen, i avoid that social situation all together. but think of the fun you’re missing by not going out with the guys! if i were you, i’d think of a light, playful blow-off ahead of time just in case ted asks you out, and hopefully, since you let him down easy and with tact, there would be no hard feelings amongst the group. i’m not sure what you could say… i’m so awkward :S maybe something like “i’ve got so much going on right now i don’t even know if i could fit a date in my schedule!” like i said, i’m not good at these things!! haha… but i’m sure someone here will have a suggestion. ok.. so now i’m actually going to bed – i swear!

  661. UncommonSB says:

    Is there a sugar reset button anywhere for the blog? Somebody? Anybody?

    No mas, nicht mehr, pas plus, no piu.

  662. SBnxtdoor says:

    Uhhhh, what happened while I was away? I feel like I stepped into a verbal women’s BYU v. New Mexico soccer game. Let us just let cooler heads prevail. Coming from a gal who has Sicilian blood flowing through her veins, let us just not keep going there. Attack- counter-attack, this neither “breaks our legs, nor picks our pockets” (brownie points if you know where that came from) so let’s fughetaboutit. This kinda stuff sends boys running for the hills ladies. All is well. Carry on.—

    I have written in to get some advice. I play a sport. I used to play this sport with a group of guys, who I hang out with sometimes. Call me an attention whore, but I love being the only girl. I went to watch “Joe” and his brother, Ted was there. Never met Ted formally but when we went out for drinks after, Ted was trying to get my attention. He obviously has a crush on me and IM’d me through FB today. He invited me to come hang out w/ him and his Joe to watch Kings game at a bar w/ another common guy friend, Bob, in the group and I declined. I got a text from Bob also inviting me (Bob is not trying to hit on me) to come out. He might be trying to fix me up w/ Ted. I told Bob that I couldn’t make it because I had a date. Ha! That is you guys and some laundry. Well, this makes me nervous and uncomfortable, because I am not interested and it is too incestuous for me. What should I do? If he asks me out I don’t even know how to reject him. I’m terrible at this stuff. I don’t want to look callous in front of my guy friends either.

  663. NYGent says:

    Midwest: don’t worry, you didn’t say anything “wrong.” Don’t let anybody suggest otherwise.

  664. Beach_Girl says:

    Midwest Mistress of the Dark ~ Meow… good night … Prrrr!!! 😉

  665. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    OC: HI :-)

    Really, REALLY going!

  666. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Cheers to all with a nice Syrah…*clink*

  667. NYGent says:

    midwest: absolutely a cocktail. and you are indeed a peacemaker.

  668. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Cali – I was hoping to facilitate peace…not to offend. Ask OC her thoughts and I hope she would concur. Methinks thou does protest too much.

    NYGent – The one strength you complimented her for a few days ago will now force this conversation into greater depths than necessary. Join me for a cocktail?

    Uncommon – E-mail is not my favorite form of communication, but it does make the bad news a lttle less dramatic. I wou;dn’t worry too much about it. Has he replied or just let it go?

    I know I’ve said it before…Goodnight and sugar dreams!

  669. Beach_Girl says:

    OC~ I mailed Desert Bunny too… but no news! I wish i knew more…

  670. Beach_Girl says:

    oh my I can’t type, meant to Say! hahha

  671. Beach_Girl says:

    OC ~ meant to day, your Blond French Canadian Sister! 😀

  672. Beach_Girl says:

    Elegant~ good night girl

    OC~ how you been? sorry forgot to say hi before sorry sugar, can you forgive your Canadian French sister?

  673. Elle-Shooger says:

    Yes, I am very open to sharing my email address with the regulars on here. I have been somewhat of a ‘lurker’ for a while before deciding to hop on and post so although I am NEW to all of you, I actually feel I know some of you from reading past blogs. I have wanted to hop on for a while, but didn’t want to until my previous arrangement officially ended and I re-entered the ocean of sugar seeking a new SD. My intent is to share my feedback as an experienced SB to new SBs and then to also learn from other experienced SBs and SDs.

    Really and truly stepping away now! Haven’t even packed. Egads.

    May visions of Sugar Daddies/Babies dance in your heads…

    Elegant Kisses

  674. Beach_Girl says:

    Kiki~ Have fun and go with you gut! it will be fine
    Have a good night, let us know how it went!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Hi Beach! I can send yours to her. But she would have to give the ok for hers to be sent out.
      BTW I sent a note to Desert Bunny tonight. I will let you know what I find out :)

      • OCSugarbaby says:

        I could never be upset with my Canadian Sister! Catching up on my emails still. What a slow poke I am.

        2Chic: I want an update!!! ha-ha

        Elegant Nit’e nit’e sugar. Keep in touch :)

  675. NYGent says:

    CaliSB: just to be clear, I applaud you for pointing out the holes in the story and how not “everything” could be true. I don’t doubt that you have (in a very lawyerly fashion) exposed some inconsistencies. But I’ve never, in 30 years, encountered a witness who told 100% of the truth and couldn’t be tripped up in some inconsitency. It doesn’t make them a “liar” generally speaking. It just means they’re human and shade things from time to time. We all do.

  676. Kiki says:

    thanks to everyone who replied to my query — i’m off to bed, i’ll let you know how it goes :) night all!!

  677. Beach_Girl says:

    ElegantSugar~ Can I have your email too???

    OC can you send me Elegant’s email??? Please 😀

  678. photogirl says:

    haha… no the weather here is lovely! Although I think that NYGent to a bit of the warmth back with him!

    The highway and tires however were not a good mix for me tonight!

  679. NYGent says:

    CaliSB: I agree a lie is a lie. And as a lawyer I try to look at evidence. Like you I was initially a skeptic about ‘Flo Rida’s “cross country driving” story with NewBie, sharing a computer, etc.. It seemed bogus, I admit. But to several of us (apparently not you) she produced documentary evidence that, at least to this blogger, seemed persuasive and authentic and caused me to reverse course and accept her Newbie story. I guess if you haven’t seen it you can’t comment and can be excused for your healthy skepticism . But to me it just points out the fact that calling somebody a “liar,” before all the evidence is in, is imprudent. Maybe the whole thing is fabricated, and maybe Flo Rida is not all she claims to be, but this lawyer is humble enough to admit that i was maybe I was wrong the first time and , details aside, Flo Rida’s “basic” story was “true” and not a “lie.” If somebody proves otherwise, I will stand corrected.

    We can’t place people on the blog under oath, so there will always be uncertainty about their stories. I just don’t think it productive to be flinging around “liar” accusations left and right.

  680. Elle-Shooger says:

    Yes, would LOVE photogirl’s email address!!! Hip East Coast girls unite! (a la David Lee Roth) Yay!

  681. Elle-Shooger says:

    Uncommon: (Just my opinion here….)

    I think the mode of communicating the rejection is all dependent upon your comfort level and how you two communicated prior to the (seemingly ‘awkward’) date that brought you to a point of having to make a decision. If you both used email to communicate frequently before you had to make a decision, then I think it’s perfectly normal. And the bottom line is, you made a decision and let him know the truth without stringing the situation along so I think that is the most important action you took.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Elegant Sugar I agree with you. I think that Uncommon had a very uncomfortable communication situation and at least she let him know her feelings and decision.
      Uncommon SB sugar hugs to you for giving closure. :)

  682. VA SB says:

    All right everyone – this has been fun, but the topic has died down. Hope everyone has a great night. Talk to you tomorrow. Ciao!!

  683. Cali SB says:

    Hi OC! And bye.. be back later! :)

    Photo — is there bad weather in FL??? What would not be fine? :(

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Hola Miss Cali SB hope you aren’t going outside! It is dark and ugly out there. The storms are still brewing Bwahhha! Scary!

  684. Cali SB says:

    And technically, it would be libel. As I said, you are more than welcome to go back and read the other blog. I don’t care to do so, but you will find that if you do there is sufficient evidence to prove “lying”. First by saying she was posting as if she was in his shoes, then by saying she was posting for him on an Amazing Race style adventure (what’s the name of what they supposedly did anyway? I for one would love to look up the details and do one myself, and if it happened there should be details available to prove it wasn’t a lie, right?). I believe it was even said she didn’t know him and then she was sitting next to him in the car. I don’t remember for sure, but you can check it out if you want. Point is, not all of the things said could plausibly and feasibly be the truth, so at least one of those things must then be a lie.

    I’m going to go enjoy time with my friends, I absolutely hate negativity and have no place for it in my life (which is why I have ignored everything said about this situation for the past month or however long it’s been). Sugar is about fun and carefree and some people are turning this into something other than that and it’s really unfortunate. :)

  685. photogirl says:

    STEPHAN – Can you please pass along my email to ElegantSugar? Or anyone else who has both our emails… I did not realize she was in Florida!

    For those who asked, THANK YOU… yes we are fine. Could have been much worse!

  686. Beach_Girl says:

    Kiki~ I agree with ElegantSugar… you and your pot SD are the only ones who need to be comfortable with your arrangement!
    Good luck tomorrow!

  687. Niki says:

    Will do…it’ll be fun to catch up and keep in touch. I’m glad too and so are you.

  688. Elle-Shooger says:

    Geez. I can’t stay away. Just finished my run and stopped to ‘look’ again before showering. (I’m addicted to the SUGAR BOWL! Aaaahhh…)

    Kiki: As VA SB stated, do the search and read all the feedback. After that, at the end of the day, remember you and your SD are the only ones who BOTH need to feel comfortable with your arrangement. If the “pay per meet” feels too transactional to you and not what you are looking for by signing up, be honest with your pot SD and tell him so. You two obviously had enough of a connection to meet so it seems you should be able to communicate your feelings. Since he is new in this arena as well, you two can probably (hopefully) create your own little happy sweetness! Communicate! Communicate! Good luck and keep us posted.

    I’m really hopping in the shower now! G’night!

  689. Beach_Girl says:

    Niki~ I’m good… you should get my email from Midwest or SDN or something… would be great to catch up!
    I did have a great time and i am glad i got to meet you! you are too sweet!

  690. NYCBella says:

    Ok, shugs…going to call it a night…it’s a “Ladies who Lunch” day tomorrow, followed by trip to salon, dance class and then meeting a new pot SD! Ah, this crazy merry-go-round that is our little bowl…sweet dreams, luvs…

  691. UncommonSB says:

    Holy drama! Just popped on for a minute and I’m like, wow!

    Back to sugar talk, thank you.

    So the pot date that I had on Sunday, who wanted me to drop my life an become his new bff and live-in gf… I wimped out and sent him an email to let him know that it wouldn’t work. I know, email rejections suck, but I’m so bad at doing it live. I tried to be honest and direct, not rude at all, and let him know that I both appreciated and respected his honesty in letting me know what he wanted and hoped to have with me, but that I just couldn’t be that person for him. Bottom line, I want something with ALOT less pressure and long term commitment when getting to know someone.

    Is it mean or too impersonal to send an email rejection versus phone or meeting face to face after you’ve met a pot? Bear in mind that I did not accept any money or gifts from him, and we only had one dinner date.

  692. Cali SB says:

    NYGent — A lie is a lie is a lie. Saying it is not a lie doesn’t make it any less a lie. As a lawyer, you should know this.

  693. Cali SB says:

    Gail — I agree. Honestly, I don’t care at all. I haven’t said a word about the entire thing and was never harsh or mean, on or off the blog. I just feel very attacked when I did nothing wrong and haven’t said a word. It’s very unfair to me and I don’t deserve to be treated like trash to begin with and then treated like I’m the bad guy now. I’ve been ignoring the whole thing and plan to continue to do so regardless of if she posts or not. I just also don’t deserve to be attacked for being the bigger person and ignoring everything, so I needed to say my peace and get the facts straight because clearly they were muddled somewhere. I don’t believe that posting a defense should “piss off the wrong person”, but I would be completely happy if all of the posts regarding the Flo situation were deleted so we can continue to blog as normal, as things have been.

  694. Niki says:

    Beach I’m great. How about you? It’s finally getting warmer here, but not quite warm enough. Yeah, I got the pictures–thanks…they’re great.

  695. NYGent says:

    CaliSb: i don’t think it appropriate for you to be using the “lie” word so casually and frequently. It is a slanderous statement and should be used with more care and evidence. There are many, many “stories” on this blog that are, shall we say, suspect, from exaggeration of SB/SD “successes,” and fictitious “pots,” to anonymous bloggers pretending to be somebody that they aren’t, to people reappearing under new names when it’s obvious they are former bloggers with a “nom de plume.” It is just part of the territory, and I’ve given up trying to separate the truth from the “lies” and am very hesitant to accuse people of the latter. If all of us called each other “liars” every time we disagreed with or were aggrieved by something they said, or doubted their stories, there would be little left to the blog. I personally discount about 40-50% of what is said on the blog, and try to benefit from the nuggets of truth that the majority of bloggers, who I trust, put forth. Just my view, so feel free to reject everything I say.

  696. Gail says:

    Cali SB…Way too much information for me. Some things are best left unsaid. Who controls the blog?…..Posting on the blog is kinda like politics. You don’t want to piss the wrong person off. I have already been there and done that…lol…

    Yaaaaay!!!! A Northern Cali meet : ) I would like warm weather : )

  697. Cali SB says:

    IRLSD — Thought you disappeared!

  698. IRLSD says:

    How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement?

    Very important. The whole point is to provide for someone who shows her appreciation.

    Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how?

    I don’t test them per se. I provide and see if they appear appreciative or if it seems like they feel entitled to be given to. In the first case, my giving will be reinforced, and in the latter case, I will dump them pretty quick. The worst is if an SB keeps nagging for more than what was agreed.

    Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more?

    In the short time maybe, but definitely not in the medium to long run.

    Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?

    Again, in the short term it might have worked when I was less experienced. Now, they’d get just a little at the beginning and be dumped quickly if they are never happy.

  699. Cali SB says:

    NYGent — There is nothing to “make up”. I don’t care what anyone else does, but I will not associate with someone who says “F— you” to me. I have more self respect than that. I would never be able to say “F— you” to someone for absolutely no reason and expect for them to talk to me again. Me reading/replying to any of Flo’s future posts doesn’t affect your life and I have never talked about her on the blog so I can’t fathom how this could possible affect your life, especially when it’s not affecting mine (except for having to type these ridiculous and useless messages). If she doesn’t want to post because I am never going to read or reply to her posts, then that is stupid — even more stupid than this already is. I’m sorry you feel so compelled by someone talking so vulgarly to someone else (who did absolutely nothing to deserve it) to defend them and not go to a friendly meet because of that.

  700. VA SB says:

    Yeah, I would sooooo go on a cruise. I love them, even for a few days. I had hoped to go on another one this year, but the finances just aren’t there. It’s my son’s senior year and I wanted to take him for his senior gift, but alas, that is not to be. I’ll have to figure something else out.

  701. Beach_Girl says:

    Niki~ Hey girl!!! how are you?
    Yes a cruise sounds amazing right now , doesn’t it? it’s so cold here!
    Did you get the photos?

  702. NJLady says:

    NYC SB,

    Thanks. I’m not to contact him. When or if, he sees my picture up, it’s his decision if he wants to contact me or not.

  703. Niki says:

    Photo–Sorry to hear about your blowout, but I’m glad you’re okay. Your and Beach’s cruise idea sounds very nice.

  704. VA SB says:

    Kiki – there are various thoughts for/against pay per meet arrangements. If you can do a search, there was a specific blog that asked the question. You’ll definitely get some good insight.

    It’s too bad things are a little tense on the blog tonight. Hopefully it will settle soon. It’s hard enough trying to “live” the sugarlife, we shouldn’t be at each other’s throats….even if that wasn’t the original intent.

    On a lighter note (I hope), are there only three of us getting together in DC for drinks? Aren’t there any other SBs in the DC/MD/VA area who want to come out with us and have some good times….? I think it’s going to be a blast. Maybe we’re just in a bad location or maybe we’re “unknowns”, but if any SBs or SDs want to come and hang out, we really wish you would. It’s always fun meeting new friends.

    Soooo, if you “are” interested, ask Stephan for my email address….Stephan please feel free to share….Thanks! :-)

  705. Cali SB says:

    BG — I didn’t say she did say anything to you through email. Gail suggested things were said, and I know they weren’t by me. That post was only directed at you because you said that Flo told you she doesn’t want to come back. And as I said in my previous post, I don’t care who posts. If she posts, I will ignore her (i.e. skip her posts, not reply to her posts) because someone of that low a caliber is not worth associating with. I have already said this. I’m tired of repeating myself. :( It’s absolutely ridiculous that I should even have to defend myself against people supporting someone who would talk so vulgarly to another blogger who merely POINTED OUT HER LIE.

  706. NYGent says:

    Various SBs: I respect your decision to not want to “make up” and to continue to stick to your “principles.” Please respect my decison to decline to attend your SoCal meet.

  707. Cali SB says:

    I didn’t see Midwest’s post, so unfortunately I had another to reply to even though I said that was my last. Sorry.

    Midwest — I gave my feeling of the situation. I didn’t say “yay” or “nay” because I don’t have the power to control who blogs, nor would I want to. I never said who does or doesn’t “belong” here. I don’t care who blogs, I just don’t associate with people with no self-respect or respect to others. I never got “harsh” or “innappropriate”. Please feel free to go back and read the blog and let me know where you think I did, because you won’t find it. There was no “speculation running wild”. Again, go back and read that blog. Flo ADMITTED that she was posting for this so-called SD after first swearing to the high heavens they weren’t the same person. Flo made efforts to reach me by you emailing a SD on the blog and asking him to ask me to give you my email to give to her. That’s ridiculous. I don’t give out my email to just anyone and don’t want everyone having it and she has no need to have it. She felt the need to talk vulgarly to me in a public forum, then she can apologize in a public forum. It’s that simple, she is not a child, if she wanted to apolgize so badly she could have figured it out. She has no need to have my email address, only a handful of bloggers have it. As I have said numerous times, I care not about the situation as it makes not the slightest difference in my life, I just choose to not associate with someone who talks to others in that manner now or ever, apology or not, I have more self-respect than that.