9 years ago
Seeking Simplicity

9 years ago
Seeking Simplicity

73% of sugars polled claim that arrangements appeal to them because of their straight-forward simplicity.

How do you manage your sugar selection process? – Taylor

What is a simple way to agree on a location and/or activity for the 1st meet?

Have you ever had (or turned down) an arrangement that was too complicated?

Any sugar news to report?

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1,311 Responses to “Seeking Simplicity”

  1. AustinSD says:

    Elegant – Yes the young SBs are demanding. One I chatted with wanted $500 just to go to dinner with me. Needless to say I passed. I have no problem with financial support just not until I know if there is chemistry between us.

    OC – Chez Nous was delightful and even better my french SB was even better. We really clicked. And truthfully she isn’t so much an SB as a LTR and I am thrilled. Next date will be dinner, wine, french cheese, chocolate and french movies at my place. It is going to be awesome.

  2. ElegantSugar says:

    An observation and question for SDs: I have been going through and reading quite a few Sugar Blogs lately – can’t believe how many there are out there! I have been shocked as to what some of the younger (below 25) SB’s demands are. I just read a post where a SB said she will flat out ask her pot SD if he can afford to buy her $900 shoes AND offer her an allowance. If he says no, she moves on to the next one.

    According to this SB, she has been successful with finding SDs all across the U.S. willing to meet her demands. Now, I didn’t sift through her entire blog to find out exactly how many SDs she has had (or if she has several at a time or how long they have lasted), but I was just in disbelief that men (especially older ones) will take that kind of attitude. Have any of the blog SDs come across pot SBs like this? If so, how did you respond?

    I’m just really curious now because her blog was 1 of about 6 I read that all seemed to have the same types of demands.

  3. Happy Lurker says:

    Hi NYCSB,
    As chairman of your fanclub (remember) I fully agree about tables that are too close for comfort. It always makes me lower my voice.
    Having said, that my favourite Indonesian restaurant Sama Sebo in Amsterdam also has such a ridiculous lay-out, still I go there for the food. A meal fit for a king, I tell my guests, who agree.
    Hi DCSB I could not resist making a comical remark on Milk&Honey.
    As for pictures, I always send several photos showing me in the outdoor activities that I enjoy. Never had a negative remark about them.
    Have a great gold dusting in the sugar bowl.

  4. ElegantSugar says:

    Cleo: Agree about the conversation flowing. And certainly, I know I’m not perfect and neither were my past SDs. So not trying to come across as overly picky (or mean) about the teeth. This was an EXTREME case to the point where hygiene was questioned!!

    Oh, and I know what you mean about Texas! I am contacted by SDs from Texas all the time. In fact, currently connecting with one as a pot.

  5. cleo says:

    i dated a man who weighed about 275 when i was in college… he was lovely and i didn’t notice his tummy once we fell for each other… i don’t care if he’s heavy, but if he’s heavy and his shirt is too small (ie gaping buttons) and he’s wearing running shoes??? ick.

    furthermore i don’t care much about pics, i care about how the conversation flows…

    man there’s a lot of SDs in texas…

  6. ElegantSugar says:

    I’m super duper excited for you! Hey, I’m curious about something, NYC, does your current (or do any of your past) SDs know about your Goal Digger blog? If so, how do they feel about it?

  7. NYC SB says:

    Elegant – we are meeting right after work for Salsa… so I will be wearing my work skinny pants … funny story about those and then I have a tank top underneath my work shirt… of course heels 😀


  8. NYC SB says:

    AM – i will keep you posted…

    DC – If you would like click on my link (email is on the blog) and contact me that way… we can try and make plans

    and I will loop everyone in (NY Gent, NYCBella, Muse, Yaz, CB)

    and if you guys pick the correct day I might bring NYSE along… we have a conference on Feb 14th-16th

  9. ElegantSugar says:

    NYC SB: Isn’t tonight SALSA night for you and SD? how fun! What are you going to wear? Oh, if I lived in the city, I have the perfect salsa dancing dress you could borrow. (Don’t even know if we are the same size!)

  10. AustinSD says:

    OC – Going to Chez Nous for lunch today with a pot SB who is french. I am so excited!! For shopping skip the domain and hit SoCo. Neimans has a really big last call (the original) off of S Lamar by 290 but it is hit and miss.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      AustinSD she is a lucky girl! Order the Pate sampler. The Country Pate with cranberries is heavenly!
      My luck has changed. The BF/SD just finished his business and we are flying out in 40 minutes. He suggested a SFO shopping rendezvous. I have the best BF/SD/BFF EVER! Actually it is not the shopping that excites me but the extra time I get to spend with him. Have a great day Everyone :)

  11. ElegantSugar says:

    DC SB: My good genes had a conversation with me when I turned 30 and said, “Elegant, we’ve been holding your weight (literally & figuratively, ha) for a long time now without complaining. We need some help!” After that little wake up call, I got into health and fitness and immediately became addicted! I do slack off a bit during winter months/holidays for sure though!

    Lily: Congratulations on finalizing your Sugar World. That is awesome! Such a good feeling when you finally know NEXT STEPS and can stop the serial pot SD dating. So happy for you!

    OCSugarbaby: Sorry about the rain, but not too sorry…because it looks like you win anyway with some Retail Therapy!

    Hello, everyone else! On the topic of photos. I don’t think I ever met a pot SD without pics first. However, I have been slightly disappointed on a few occasions when photos turned about to being (obviously) relatively old OR I didn’t take note they weren’t smiling in the photo only to be greeted with the LIVE reason WHY they weren’t smiling in their pic. I don’t need a perfect Chip-n-Dale smile, but I draw the line at BUTTER teeth. YOU’RE A MILLIONAIRE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, GO GET THAT GRILL FIXED. TRY WHITE STRIPS, AT THE VERY LEAST. GEESH. (photogirl knows exactly what I’m talking about.)

  12. ESB says:

    Well, since Baby Girl has the day off, school are closed, we are off to go shoping… she has B-day money burning a hole in her pocket. Days like this I like my job, I can schedule what I want for when I want. Gotta go shovel the drive way though before I can go anywhere!

    AS for the song, weellll… I think 2 years of a personal voice coach, I could handle something that simple myself! 😉 Hope it stops for you soon, darlin, so you can go have some fun, too! Hay, large umbrella, comfortable shoes, you are good to go! 😉

    Be back later!! Sugar HUGS!!

  13. Lily a k a taylor says:

    About pics, my awesome date last night had shown no pics. I didn’t ask. I was so happy with the reality, though.

  14. Anna Molly says:

    NYC SB, DC SB and NYC Bella ~ Please keep me informed on the NYC mini meet if there is one. I would love to come as long as it’s on the 12th because that is the only day I’ll be able to make it and meet you DC. I might be in the city sometime between the 15 and the 19, but I’m not sure yet. How exciting! I can’t wait to see you again NYC SB and meet Bella and DC!! I still owe NYGent and Elegant a drink for getting the trivia question right…LOL. 😀

    NYC SB you should have my email, if not let me know and I’ll send it to you 😀

  15. Lily a k a taylor says:

    Free test drive to check compatibility. Hilarious. I am having a horrible day in every way, except sugar-wise. Mr. Zazazoom from last night called, and confirmed everything I already knew. He wants to be a gift daddy when we meet, and cover my basic living expenses for me, starting now in february, as well. He’s happy, excited, and promises to get to my city once a month to see me (he lives two hours drive away). We’re going to germany together on monday, until friday. I cannot wait. Bliss! I’m taking safety net guy, too. I told him today. He wired over my allowance for my february living expenses immediately. He is so happy too.

  16. AustinSD says:

    OC – Sorry it is so yucky today. How was dinner last night, did you got to Aquarelle? I haven’t been yet but hear it is marvelous and I only live a few minutes walk from there. Oh and for a fun rainy day activity go shopping on South Congress – there are some great antique/curiosity stores and a really nice gallery.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Thanks ESB and AustinSD, It may be too late for the rainy day song to work it wonders. But did you say SHOPPING. Way ahead of ya my sugar friend… Dressed and ready to infuse my sugar into the Austin Economy!
      We went to Chez Nous, super food and cozy romantic place. Loved it!!!

  17. TXSB says:

    NYC SB:
    Yep…1st meets are awkard to begin with…the pic issue makes it even worse when you realize they didn’t send recent pics!

    DC SB:
    LOL…that’s more or less when I told him. :)

    In my experience it’s very rare for a pot SD to agree to meet a pot SB without pics. Back when my profile didn’t have my pics, all SDs asked for pics by the 2nd message.

  18. ESB says:

    Sorry OC, shall we all start singing “Rain Rain go away” or should we wait for Lily/Taylor? (sorry, couldn’t resist!)

    Austin, we need to start making plans for a Cedar Point meet! Would be so awesome! I’d have to bring my kids, could dump them with their cousins/Grandma/ Friends for a day. Would so love to stay at The Breakers though.

    I’m not sure how I feel about pix. They can be deceiving, but at teh same time, I don’t want some guy showing up who had 200+ lbs on me that I just don’t find atractive at all. I have met some heavey guys who were absolute sweethearts, but not sure I want to date one… guess I”d have to get to know him first

  19. DC SB says:

    Austin & Cleo – I also have a profile on sugardaddie. Got a lot of responses, but found my SD within a week of putting back up my profile on SA – so I haven’t logged in since. I had about 50 messages within the first few hours.. it was pretty daunting. I did pay, it was only 22 bucks, not a whole lot to pay for a month.. I just didn’t like the fact that the website is pretty vague on the specific arrangement everyone wants because it doesn’t ask.. so all I could do was list “strictly SD/SB relationship” —

  20. DC SB says:

    *mighty whoops :)

  21. DC SB says:

    TXSB – yea, I find the hotties ALWAYS say that. “I’m rich and hot, I have no problems finding girls” but then I say, well might coincidental you’re on a WEBSITE in order to find some companionship.

  22. AustinSD says:

    I’d agree a picture is not that important. Most women look substantially better in a few carefully chosen pictures and some look much worse than reality. I’ll meet with a local SB without a picture but for long distance I doubt I would.

  23. NYC SB says:

    TXSB – Yes I hate that as well… especially when you go out and you are trying to catch up with whomever… I don’t want a random stranger listening to what I have to say or vice versa…

  24. ESB says:

    I have requested pix in the past, but because of SDs advice, I wont’ anymore. I met with one SD, who was teh real deal BTW, but had to pass on him. He was just not what I was looking for. He looked older in person, and there were a few things in his personal life that just didnt'[ sit well with me.

    The whole discussion on raising children with more than a traditional set of parents.. I whole heartedly disagree… look at kids with Step-parents, and they are so torn as to who’s rules to follow in who’s house, and are so confused!! Can’t imagine getting all those different personalities trying to raise one child to turn out right. I’m all for the traditional relationships. If I ever do marry again (and Baby Girl said Im not even allowed to date!) he will stay out of raising my kids. They already have a father, dont’ need a second!

  25. TXSB says:

    Hey! :) I guess I shouldn’t be too sorry that you’re snowed in huh? :)

    DC SB:
    No, the “HOT” guy wanted a free test drive to see if we’re “compatible”. I also got to hear about how he has “no problem” picking up women…lol. So far I haven’t had anyone send me someone else’s pic….but on several instances, when I met them in person, it was clear that the pics were outdated.

  26. DC SB says:

    Elegant please take my body on a run with you. I have been relying on my good genes since winter kicked in, and Phil the groundhog has really ruined my plans of getting anything accomplished anytime soon. Ugh Phil!

  27. DC SB says:

    ESB you lucky butt! You know I had to come to work today. All we got was “federal gvt is on code (whatever it was called)” which means NOTHING. ughhhhhhhhhh

    TXSB – that’s totally understandable. I don’t consider long distance (because I’m a big wuss) but if I did, I would totally agree.
    Sorry to hear the guy was a fake, so he sent a pic of someone else? Really weird..

  28. ESB says:

    TXSB! Morning Sweetty!! Sorry I missed you!

  29. ESB says:

    NYC SB, DC, AM, HL and I think Elegant? If I missed anyone, I appolgize, GOOD MORNING!! Im snowed in so you all get my $.02 today as well!!

  30. TXSB says:

    DC SB:
    I’ve gone on 2 local dates without seeing pics and was not disssappointed with the looks, but I can’t imagine meeting a long distance pot SD without seeing pics. And on the flip side, I have received pics of other pots where I definately was not attracted to them so there was no meeting. Glad to hear about your SD! I’ve met 1 pot who I would consider “HOT” but he turned to be fake… :(

  31. DC SB says:

    TXSB – I don’t even bother asking for pics. I’ve gone out on dates w/ the SD sans pics unless he volunteered on his own accord. That way I don’t see the outdated and get disappointed, and in the few pics I’ve received they’ve looked WAY hotter in person than their pics.
    My current SD looked hot in his pics, in person I almost fell over in shock.

  32. DC SB says:

    HL – I agree w/ NYC, the wording is unique, but is not meant to imply that at all. In the city people practically sit on each other’s laps in restaurants and lounges etc, so they offer more privacy (mostly to attract/and keep the celebrities, politicos..) & the like.

  33. TXSB says:

    Good Morning everyone! :)

    NYC SB:
    PBI but I’ve been to some restaurants like that here where the tables are so close that you can literally hear the entire conversation other people are having. Very uncomfortable…

    I have no idea why people send outdated pics on SA. I’m going to see the “real you” when me meet in person! It’s such a waste of time…

  34. DC SB says:

    AM – I agree! I can’t wait to see the NYC beauties on the blog in person! & I will try to convince everyone to come visit us in DC :) I realize we don’t have much gunning for us, but we DO have el Presidente. And buildings under 10 stories, DC is like a baby compared to NYC. aw

  35. NYC SB says:

    Happy Lurker – the intimate booths just means a table that is a bit closed off so you can have a conversation where no one can hear you… VERY important in NYC… I feel like every time i am at a restaurant the tables are so close everyone can hear what I am saying

  36. Anna Molly says:

    DC ~ ooooo that sounds like fun!! 😀

  37. DC SB says:

    Good Morning everyoneeeeee. AM- yes! I’m glad you’ll be in the city too :) I think NYC and Bella are planning something up, I’m coming w/ my SD (he has no idea yet) yay!

  38. Anna Molly says:

    Where is everybody this morning? Was there a party and I wasn’t invited or something? LOL 😀

  39. Anna Molly says:

    Good Morning everyone!

    Hi HL! I haven’t forgotten you and I’ll send you an email soon :)

  40. Happy Lurker says:

    Just looked up that Milk&Honey thingy in London.
    Had a great laugh about it, kind of sleazy joint.
    It says that they have “a range of private intitmate booths”.
    Is it supposed to mean that your lady can now take off her top and I can indulge in her ….., is it that a connection with the name Milk & Honey ? Strange customs they have.
    Although drinking Piper Heidsick from between her ample goodies might be a nice passtime. But no, they do not have PH in stock.
    Life is like a comic strip to me and certainly this watering hole.

  41. Happy Lurker says:

    Great to wake up in this wonderful world of sugar.
    Will be in London for the week-end on some business, am still looking for a nice SB to meet&greet&spoil. British girls are very reserved towards
    “bloody foreigners” and rather stick to their own chaps. Only time I really connected was at hunt balls and polo matches. Very classy type of girls that I met then, but noting stuck long term.
    Will be staying at the The Howard along the Thames Embankment with a magnificent view on the eye of London. It is a Swiss hotel and as you know the Swiss are the best hoteliers in the world. It gets top reviews from guests, the only drawback they find are the pricy restaurant and bars. Obviously they forget that top quality does not come cheap.
    I will also have a look into that Milk&Honey which was mentioned here.
    Have a great sugary day rolling over in the bowl.

  42. ElegantSugar says:

    Good morning!

    4:00 a.m. and I am up to start my day. WOW. Can someone please add more hours in my day??

    Cleo: Sorry to hear things aren’t going well. Hope they look up for you, sweetie!

    AustinSD: I refuse to use any other site outside of SA nor will I recommend any others. I, myself, have not tried the others but have heard enough negative stories from other SBs to steer very clear of them. (WOMM – word of mouth marketing)

    SBnxtdoor: I think the only other site where you might *try* to float a SD would be seekingmillionaire (SA’s sister company). I was on that one about a year and a half ago when I thought I wanted to look into traditional dating and if I recall, there is an option for the men that states something like: “NSA” (I hope I’m not giving you wrong info, it’s been a while. Maybe check it out and see…) I actually went out on a couple of dates with very decent men from that site.

    Off for an early morning run.

    Have a fabulous day, Sugars!

  43. AustinSD says:

    Cleo – Sorry I didn’t know the SBs had to pay there. The positive to that is it keeps the scammers out. One thing I noticed on a mutual site were multiple profiles using the same pictures and even one using a models picture right off the internet.

    I am getting about a 50% response rate to my emails on a mutual site which is amazing as I never got even 10% on match dot com.

  44. cleo says:

    i don’t like sugar daddie because the sugar baby has to pay. so you know, it doesn’t make sense to me. there’s no option for the sd to pay enough for anyone to be able to contact him. one of the ways we know to take you seriously is if you pay for membership

    hi guys, not catching up, life is not fun at the moment… just wanted to say hey

  45. AustinSD says:

    SBnxtdoor – you might try a mutual sugar site- I am having fantastic luck there. Have pot SB meets coming out my ears in just a few days. It seems to be a pretty decent site unlike sd4me which is full of escorts. Of course I may be having luck there because I’m a decent guy and everyone else are perverts.

  46. SBnxtdoor says:

    I just sent an e-mail to someone who had their profile up and last logged- in in 2008. I am so digging the bottom of the barrel. I wish I could try to float a sugar profile on a traditional dating site, but a couple of my guy friends are on it right now and might see it. Has anyone tried to do such a thing?

  47. ElegantSugar says:

    Lily (Taylor) has been quiet. This can only mean ONE thing.


    Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

    (Lily…you know I am poking fun at you because I lurvs you.)

  48. ElegantSugar says:

    Just caught up on the blog and laughing hysterically at NC Gent’s comment: “Cougars are en vogue these days! Funniest thing ever.

  49. AustinSD says:

    OC – Hopefully at the hotel – love that bar

    ESB – Hell yes a Cedar Point meetup would be awesome. I’m in.

    Lily – I’d say get it while the getting is good, start a rainy day fund or just a go crazy fund or Cedar Point money 😉

  50. ElegantSugar says:

    Let the pretty red coat go. Sometimes we have to cut our losses. People are people and things are things. Might say the same about SafetyNetGuy too…

    However, sounds like you might have an arrangement with HOT guy that you will only see once a month so perhaps set an arrangement with SNG with boundaries you both agree one. And there you are! Two SDs…

  51. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Lily – RE: The coat, I’d send him another email stating the coat has sentimental value to you and you really want it back. I’d even offer to him to pay for the postage. Just keep trying!

  52. Lily a k a taylor says:

    No advice on the pretty red coat that my first pot SD? And what do you guys think about negotiating clear boundaries with SafetyNetGuy and not kicking him to the curb, either..! He certainly is hot….

  53. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    I’m such a wimp and I’m pooped! Maybe tonight I will get some sleep. Goodnight all!

  54. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Lilly – it totally makes sense! Congrats! When it rains, it pours!

    All the midwesterners – I’ve been to Cedar Point once and would totally do it again! SDN – didn’t you mention briefly that a meet there would be a great idea come summer? I think that could be the most enteraining meet yet!

  55. ESB says:

    :D, got so excited about that I forgot my maners, and how to type, and SPELL :)

    HI Everyone!! I’m beyond exhausted, so I’ll just say bye too. Hope you all have a great time, and seriously, if there is a Cedar Point meet up, I am so in!! Got enough friends and family close by to stay with, it would be a blast!! Might even spring for a room at The Breakers!! I’m all giddy with excitement. I want details on this one. I promise to be there!! :)

  56. Midwest–absolutely! I have STRONG sugar feelings towards him, but NOT feelings of love blossoming. I also have strong, lusty feelings of sugary attraction towards SafetyNetGuy, I just think it may be too complicated and he wants so dang much of me. They are both good looking, warm, and intelligent. I just don’t at ALL have my head in the clouds wanting some sort of happy ever after with either.

    But for some reason with this new guy, I just kind of like that he’s sort of open to life taking whatever turn. Even if I feel like it’s highly unlikely I’d ever fall deeply in *love* with him (just my intuition talking), it’s still nice to know that you’re dealing with an SD who wouldn’t disqualify me as someone to date or have a serious relationship with, just because originally he classified me in his head as a ‘SB’ and somehow ‘beneath’ him or unqualified for partnership material. I guess that’s the key, I really want to have a sugar relationship with someone who could easily imagine and if life happens to work out that we would both want it to go that way, would be open to and could imagine being traditional partners with me. It’s just not our arrangement, but in an alternate reality could have been. Does that make ANY SENSE???

  57. ESB says:

    AustinSD: OMG!! Seriously?? I grew up in Bettsville!! Went to Cedar point 5- 7 times EVERY summer!! Where else does a teenager go on her day off but tothe point! I mean, how coll is that? The roller coast of the WORLD!! I was only going to lurk, but had to comment on that. So cool. Another Buckeye in the crowd! :)

  58. ElegantSugar says:

    Hi Midwest! Yes, I do make it out that way sometimes – but not often. I grew up in a town the size of my pinkie nail. Made Mayberry look like a metropolis! Imagine that…a tall Asian girl in the sticks. Sitcom just waiting to happen…

  59. Do you think I forgot who compared my posts to W&P? Not for a single minute. I’m gunnin’ for you, sweet cheeks. 😉

    But seriously, thanks so much for the compliments. I have a STRONG personality, but I’m a sincere person about it, underneath all that bubbliness, and hell, even at age 21, after college, when I was selling LIFE INSURANCE, I was a success. Born saleswoman, I guess, since all sales ever is is selling *yourself.* Same damn thing in reeling in an arrangement, or in any relationship with another human being. If someone likes and trusts you, and feels happy and relaxed around you, then…. bingo! And of course if they find you hot, that helps. :) Can’t say my looks have ever held me back, especially with the opposite sex.

    But not always! After my date, I stopped off at my favorite karaoke joint on the way home, ran into a group that I vaguely remembered from last time, including one stunning blonde who had asked me to sing ‘Don’t Speak’ to her the last time we saw each other, and tonight I fulfilled that promise. She stared at me hypnotized, and afterwards asked if I’m a lesbian, and kept getting her face closer and closer to mine, I thought she was going to kiss me! :) Wouldn’t have been bad. I was feeling ‘on fire’ from my date and almost kissed her! But instead we friended on facebook and spent the night girl-talking and planning to hang out soon. I love making friends.

  60. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Lilly – Woo Hoo! Now, stop thinking and allow yourself to enjoy how lucky you are RIGHT NOW! Your enthusiasm and passion really do shine through. You will be a great sugar baby with this last guy because you are so into him. Only one word of advice…keep the balance between love and sugar. He may say divorce is an option, but it is his option and his alone. Keep yourself in the sugar mode for a while and don’t be mislead. Now, raise a glass and celebrate!

    Elegant – I seem o recall many blogs ago youmentioned being from the midwest. Do you ever travel this way?

  61. Cleo, will you please email me. My email is right on my blog. Seriously, I have like a bug up my butt or something about your profile and I really think I could give you some food for thought about it. At least if I get it off my mind, then *I* can stop thinking about it.

    Seriously, I just hate for you the way your sugar search has gone, and I think you deserve *AND CAN ABSOLUTELY GET, WITH YOUR AMAZING ASSETS* so much better results. You have so much to offer the right guy, but your profile is just not geared towards reeling him in at that all-important starting gate. Email me. Let me get it off my chest, then you can totally ignore me but I can release my ideas and feel my shoulders lighter. 😉

  62. ElegantSugar says:

    And WHO, pray tell, compared your postings to War & Peace in the first place? That would be MOI!! My way of telling you to Cliff Note those B*TCHES. ha.

  63. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Lily – Don’t you worry – I like reading your stories. Until I get an SD I’m living vicariously through you!

  64. ElegantSugar says:

    Ha ha, LILY!! Yes, I am getting a visual of your gestures and overall representation of WHO you are in person. Love it. And, agreed, men either love it or hate it…but mostly love it. I am animated as well when I speak and have been told I really am Italian pretending to be Asian because I can’t speak without my hands!

    Sounds like an amazing night. Wonderful for you, darling! It is obvious that when you do select that ONE special guy, he is going to get all of you and your passionate excitement and zest for life… and that is fabulous!

  65. I can’t seem to put the computer away and go to bed. My bad. You guys are probably lurking and waiting until I’m gone before you come out to play. :)

    I’m just so freakin’ giddy about tonight. I seriously hope this one is *the one.* But for freakin’ sure I will go for a second SD if he is only hanging out with me once a month. What am I supposed to do the other 29 days, go out on non-sugar dates and get stuck paying half the check and having no one offer to help me with my coat and sit there and snarl at the men my age who act like this?? I’d happily non-sugar date a single, IRL gentleman who I found attractive. Just don’t know where they are.
    Besides, it’s not like I couldn’t use a second allowance. Just getting my living expenses covered is amazing and all that, but what about buying a ticket for my mom to come visit me when she wants to, going home to visit family myself, etc, there are so many areas in which extra money on top of your bills could be quite handy. But just getting to keep my huge, glam apartment and not think about downsizing is pretty luxurious in and of itself.

    Ya’ll have to come out here and let me host everyone! Euro meet, damn it!!!

  66. Well ….what can I say…..if brevity is the soul of wit, then I’m either souless or witless. Or both. 😉

    You guys aren’t gonna, like…. vote me off the island for not knowing when to shut up…. are you?

    Ok, how about this. I cross posted that last War&Peace post on my personal blog. Next time, I’ll JUST put it on my own blog, and give the super super brief cliff notes (like one sentence or two sentences) here, and refer you guys to get the details on my blog. I promise.

    Unless I forget.

    You guys still like me, right, smoking iPhones and all?

  67. Elegant – yes. I do. pot SDs either love it or they hate it. However, nearly always, they love it, because I also articulate and speak clearly, my eyes sparkle and my body language is animated and enthusiastic, and in general, I’m lots of fun.

    and it’s Lily now, you 5’10” asian hottie. By the way, have you ever been hit up on SA to incubate???? That was ridiculous, no???

    and yes there are worst positions to be in!!!!!! Such worse ones! But I don’t want more BECAUSE he’s hot, silly. I’m content with not pressing his generosity and angling for more. Because this way, I have this sneaky feeling/hope that when we do travel and when we do see each other, he’s gonna be a big time spoiling gift daddy, not mr. stingy AT ALL. I just get that feeling. I mean, what he spent on our date tonight was 1/3 of aforementioned allowance, and he didn’t even blink or glance at the bill. He didn’t even try for the kiss, that was all me. But he certainly reciprocated and the fireworks were so visible to everyone walking by on the busy city street, that even a few jealous men stopped to stare and one even said out loud, “What the hell….?” in this incredulous voice, which I don’t think was fair. The implication of course being that how is this relatively ordinary guy getting to smooch HER?! But like I said, I find him totally attractive. I mean, I’m insanely attracted to him. I kept trying to think about ways to break our ‘no test drive’ rule and get him back to my apartment. However, objectively, most people, especially men, would find him completely ordinary looking and he wasn’t dresed *that* well.
    Anyway he promised to call me tomorrow and I cannot wait to talk to him!!!!!!!

  68. San Diego sb, good luck.

    Sorry about the War and Peace. Again. But I needed to share with you guys, I have no one else I could possibly tell.

    Cross your fingers that this one gets solidified.

    This is so helping me get over the guy overseas who has completely cut off contact with me for no apparent reason. Oh yeah, about him…. he has something of mine. Two somethings, actually, but one is just a book and I don’t care about that paperback. But the other item is a handmade wool coat that I really like. It’s bright red, it wraps around and actually gives you a great little waistline unlike most winter coats which leave you shapeless, and it has an open cowl neckline and I found it in a market where a woman makes them and sells them herself and I WANT IT. He said he’d bring it with him to our second meet up. I emailed him and gave him my address, again, and politely asked him to please send it to me. :(

  69. ElegantSugar says:

    Taylor: Sounds like an awesome date! Wow, allowance for your living expenses and only ONCE a month dates? And you want more because he’s HOT? There are worse situations to be in for sure.

    By the way….just curious….do you speak the way you write? I was out of breath after reading paragraph two. Ha ha!

  70. SDNEOhio— Hey you!! How’s my favorite SD??? *big smile*

    I am sobered up now. I had two glasses of champagne before our dinner reservations plus a small glass of wine with every single course (there were 7) at the best (IMO) restaurant in this city. I got so tipsy! He had to get to his car and drive two hours home. I felt bad for him that he was only able to taste, but not drink his wine. We both decided to just let the staff give us both ‘the works,’ i.e. “show us what ya got!” He has a meeting early in the morning and he couldn’t stay out late, so at 10-11pm, we said goodbye on the busiest street in the country and ended up jumping into a majorly hot and passionate kiss that I had been waiting 5-6 hours for!!! I swear, on first glance I wanted to rip his clothes off. Sheesh this man is fine. He looks a decade younger than he is, easily, and just ….dang. Sorry to go on and on and on….. But man I really simply cannot wait to see him again! If he wasn’t married, I’d be all about dating him. However, he was quick to say that divorce was certainly in the cards, and he is open to this relationship, that is budding between us, turning into whatever. Me too! Who knows….

    So the subject of arrangements and what he is looking for and why, and what I am looking for and why, lasted for hours. He and I seem to be exactly of the same mind, and when he subtly probed for the amount of assistance that is needed these days to help get me through until my career takes off, and I gave him the exact amount of my living expenses,he said that is exactly what he had in mind, as for help he would like to contribute. However, I kind of low-balled (HOT GUY DISCOUNT), and he agreed so quickly…. that for a second I was thinking, “did I ask for too little??” Do any of you guys have that second thought of greed creep into the back of your mind when they agree too fast and too excitedly? :) Anyway, *then* when I asked him about how often we would able to get together, he said ONCE A MONTH. And then I think I must have had a look on my face like my dog just died, based on his reaction, and after a second or two of this non-verbal communication, I just stammered out that, “Well, I guess that’s *ok* but I think I had in mind to get together more often, and it would just….be hard…. to wait that long in between seeing each other again.”

    He heartily agreed, but then said maybe twice a year we would take a longer trip together. He then said that he’s going on monday to Cologne, Germany, and coming back friday and asked if I would consider joining him. I was thrilled because I have a good girlfriend (german) who lives there (it’s her hometown) and his face lit up like a Christmas tree when I got excited and explained that that would be great, as when he is working, my girlfriend and I could get together and show me around!

    It just seems like serendipity. We all but decided on all of this over dinner, without using any language of finality. Just kind of keeping the language non-committal, but both of us non-verbally expressing enthusiasm that all of these plans and likemindedness we seem to have together, that unfolded during those six hours of conversation, would certainly come to something significant and great.

    So…. he never asked about exclusivity, and for goodness sakes would he expect me to sit at home alone for 29 days of the month and not see anyone, while he’s married? I think not. I certainly didn’t get that feeling that he would be so dense, and since it didn’t come up, I think it’s ‘don’t ask don’t tell….’ but I still may discuss it explicitly when we speak, or then, I’ll just assume that he won’t mind using condoms every time and sticking to ‘don’t ask don’t tell.’

    So this dude wants to cover my living expenses, and see me once a month. God, I’d prefer more often. But about the allowance, because that figure seems so easy for him to agree to off the cuff, I just got the vibe that it’s not a significant amount of money to him. Great, because then the allowance is kind of a non-issue for him, and he won’t be really calculating in his head exactly what he ‘gets’ for that contribution and hypothetically disappointed or pissy if it doesn’t live up to his expectations and seem ‘worth it’ to him. I mean, for instance, if I happen to be in a funk or have a headache or be on my period or some other situation that no matter how hard I try, I just can’t make that one date per month be the absolute best time of his life, he probably will be very understanding and cool about it if it’s a rare thing. Whereas, if the amount was a huge stretch for him, he might have a bad attitude about the allowance vs. time with me and less easy going with quality control evaluations of those single monthly dates. However, I anticipate being so happy to see him that they *WILL* be awesome times together, every time. BUt you just never know.

    THEN, also, I’m thinking if the allowance is like, poof, nothing, no big deal to him, not even a dent in his life, then perhaps we can also do other things as well that are fun, but indeed pricey, and ….he can also be a gift daddy, which would be awesome. Gosh I hope he is the type to want to go above and beyond, and surprise me with extras because that would just be SO AWESOME. I want salsa on my doorstep. They don’t even have to cost money, just be thoughtful. And I would be doing the same for him, although never expensive surprises obviously, always just-because thoughtful ones. I’m creative. This is what we call romance, right??? I want romance, even in a NSA MBA. With THIS MAN. Hells yes, HIM. I never want to see last night’s guy again, as nice as he was.

    If you compare how generous and amazing his offer is, with SafetyNetGuy, who wants to have my attention ten times per day and see me five times a week, for the SAME ALLOWANCE, it’s just hilarious. Last night’s guy also had the same allowance schema in mind, but thought about getting together 3 times per month. So it really is hugely variable, the percentage of my life and energy that men imagine that they are entitled to, for the same amount of assistance.

    SFbaby — Definitley should have slapped him, drenched him, and kicked him in the balls at the FIRST f’d up comment. My jaw hit the floor with that one. That has to be the worst date you’ve ever had, sugar or otherwise (god, I hope so–so sorry to dredge up truly vicious memories if I am wrong on that one).

  71. ElegantSugar says:

    Wow, you guys have been quite busy in my absence! Let’s see…

    Lily a k a Taylor: Glad you went with the black/red. Great choice of colors for a first date and it has been proven that men will choose red on a woman over all colors! Red is a powerful color with many meanings, from passionate love to violence and warfare. Red is Cupid and the Devil. You go girl! Could be a contributing factor to your hot kiss that rocked his world!

    Paige: Here are our blogs: Sugar and the City, Goal Digger , Searching for Sweetness. Happy reading!

    James: *standing ovation*

    Have to catch up on the other stuff in a second…

    Personal Sugar News:

    -Pot SD date was fabulous. Still hard to tell from first date , since it was a late lunch – but went really well. We shall see…,/i>

    -Think I made a V-Day decision…

  72. SanDiego sb says:

    thats good!!
    glad to hear

    so i live in a gated community in san diego (with my parents)
    i was talking to a pot on (seems like that site gets more new sd’s than SA) He lives in the gated community A BLOCK OVER from me. we’ll see if he can back up is words lol

  73. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Hi San Diego! I’m better today :)

    SDN – you have mail

  74. SanDiego sb says:

    hey sugars!

    how is everyone?

  75. Ok, that was meant to be that I am now HOME. on a PC. thank goodness. Now off to catch up.

  76. Lily a k a taylor says:

    ‘ve been posting on my crappy phone. Now gone. Going to catch up. :)

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      James for you I would sign one of NyGents multi-lingual contracts of exclusivity :)
      just sitting at dfw on board my plane to Austin .
      Taz saw your shout out. Just send me an email and ask away. I am always glad to help.

      And on the Viagra comments…they work fab on woman too. Tried it once and OMG!
      But I digress, we are starting to repeat topics. I must have been on the blog for too long
      closing doors! Later. OC

  77. NYGent says:

    Austin: not from Sandusky itself, but the area.

  78. AustinSD says:

    NYGent – how old are you? Were you SHS or St Marys?

  79. AustinSD says:

    Wow a Sandusky/Cedar Point reunion – I worked there through high school – heaven on earth for a young man as they hired about 80% women and required a photo with every application so only the cute ones got hired. It was like fishing in a stocked pond. Really not fair even for a geek like me. And Sandusky was just a great town to grow up in, I lived on Lake Erie all summer sailing, fishing and island hopping.

  80. NYGent says:

    AustinSD/SDN: I’m originally from Sandusky area. Worked many summers at Cedar Point.

  81. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    AustinSD: I have family living in the Sandusky area.

    DC SB: Being a good boy…Naughty Molly is always watching.

  82. Anna Molly says:

    Hi AustinSD ~ The SD’s will never take over the blog, but it is nice to see more of you here 😀

    I haven’t really introduced myself, sorry. My sister Naughy Molly was here earlier and I hope she behaved herself, but then again if she did that then she wouldn’t be Naughty Molly would she…LOL.

    Hello to any of the new bloggers I might have missed *WAVE*

    DC ~ I will be in the city on the 12th too! 😀

  83. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Austin SD – Just jeans & boots for you hmm?

  84. DC SB says:

    Night everyone! bisous, besos & bacci.

  85. AustinSD says:

    Lily – congrats oh and I’m 44 and hot too….just no blog for me to post my fashion choices on. You don’t know how much I hate matching ties/shirts/suits. Luckily in Austin no one wears suits.

    BC and Bella – I was supposed to go to Milk and Honey in London this past February with an investor but it canceled last minute. Went to Marcus Wareing at the Berkeley instead and it was heavenly.

    SD NEOhio – Hello, thinks they SBs are getting a little nervous as they are watching an SD blog takeover. I was born and raised in Sandusky and still have family in Columbus.

  86. DC SB says:

    SDN what mischief have you gotten yourself into that you’ve been off the blogs?!

  87. DC SB says:

    Yes, NYC that’s exactly it.. like I said, my friend loves it – I guess for that very reason. He feels at ease/can mingle w/ his own ..

  88. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    ** comes back all happy **

    Hey DC SB!

  89. NYC SB says:

    Milk and Honey is misunderstood… It is limited to people who are “in the know” in order to maintain its privacy. A lot of famous people go there and one of the rules is “no starting.” If you are there and you see a star you cannot just walk up to them and talk… it takes the pressure off being bothered by others… and the place is so cozy and quiet… almost perfect for discrete sugar dates

  90. DC SB says:

    Hi SDN!

  91. DC SB says:

    NYC – Wonderful! I told him I have blog friends & I feel he’s a little jealous. :)

    Bella – yes, the Big Mac AND they said they’d even make the McGridles or any other breakfast option I would like, especially for me.. Oo lala!
    One of my friends, who’s incredibly pretentious and, I guess semi rightly so as he’s pretty famous and has famous friends himself, ALWAYS raves about Milk and Honey, but he’s into that whole scene.. another gf who went with a guy who had membership was less than impressed. I think if you build it up in your mind too much, then it could fail your expectations – but I’m sure they have stellar, delish drinks compared to the typical spot.
    I also heard the London branch is better. Isn’t that where it first opened?

  92. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Wow I have been off blog for a couple days and no one will talk to me! ** walks off in a huff **

  93. Lily a k a taylor says:

    Thanks guys. Red and black outfit all the way. I can’t believe he’s forty two. He looks my age. He’s so hot!

  94. NYCBella says:

    NYC SB~Good to know. Yay! We’re gonna have a sugar hour!!!

    (Ok, really signing off now, or my hair will be horrendous tonight!) 😉

  95. NYCBella says:

    DC~The more the merrier! Nice…I gotta start talking to you more, lady…best table and a Big Mac?! lol…It’s a combo of membership, only being invited for membership if you’ve been recommended by another member (ala Soho House), only being given address if you’re already a member, and I’m not sure if they’re doing to rotational password or key (ala Bungalow 8)…I forget. Haven’t checked it out, though one of my pots was raving about it…figured he was just boasting and wanted some arm candy…but was a definite NEXT for me…lol. I don’t really need to go to a club that badly. Supposedly the one in London is better. I still find it funny how people hype things up!!! Ive definitely become too jaded over the years…lol.

  96. NYC SB says:

    NYC Bella – I know Sasha the owner/mixologist for Milk and Honey and now Speak Easy… I have yet to check out speak easy but milk and honey is fantastic… awesome fresh fruit drinks, nice wine selection, good scotch and fine cigars …

    DC of course your SD can come along… we can set something up 😀

  97. DC SB says:

    good luck!

  98. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Hey all. Been very busy and little time to contribute.

  99. DC SB says:

    Thanks babe. Will do, I’ve only gotten as far as the Menu.. dying!
    Although Mc D’s is really tough to beat……

  100. NYCBella says:

    Ok…off to get ready for my date with my SD IRL (not to be confused with IRL SD! lol)…I’ll check back later, chickies.

  101. DC SB says:

    Bella – trust me, we contacted the CEO of Mc D’s and he assures us their finest table and big mac will be ready upon our arrival.

    I haven’t been to Milk & Honey but I’ve heard mixed reviews, some of my friends have loved it – others thought the hype hasn’t lived up. So what’s the deal w/ Milk & Honey again, is it the one where you need a private membership which costs xx dollars per year and gives you access to a few ultra posh spots worldwide, or the one where you have to be someone to get a password to get in, which changes regularly. I feel like the former.

    PS Let’s def make it happen! Can I bring my SD along too :)

  102. NYCBella says:

    DC~It’s nice right…and perfect for VDay…uber cozy and romantic…let me know if you have trouble with a res (if you decide to go) and I might be able to help.

  103. NYCBella says:

    On a side note…today was bath day for my kitties…they weren’t exactly thrilled…but now they smell sooo good! (I’m putting in my bid for Queen of Randomness Award!)

  104. DC SB says:

    Oo I love Mas’s website.

  105. NYCBella says:

    DC SB~Nice. Awwww…valentine’s in New York…love it! I’d say def, book a res asap, wherever you go, esp for VDAY…I hear even McD’s has a hour wait! lol 😉

    Ooh! Let’s make it happen! NYC SB, NY Gent, Muse, AM, NJ Lady, and anyone else I might have missed! Happy Times!!! :)

    Oh, btw…has anyone been to Milk and Honey-New York, yet?

  106. DC SB says:

    Bella – Thanks so much for the rec’s! I like the idea of Organic, he has no issue with a 4K dinner figure.. he is independently wealthy backed by very old family money. And he LOVES wine, so I’m sure it’d be far from thrifty.. :)
    I’m coming next weekend (12-14). He’ll already be up in that area for business, so I won’t be arriving until after I get off work here. I’d LOVE to meet up with the city SBs :)

  107. NYCBella says:

    DC SB~If you can’t get into Per Se (NYC SB is right…reservations are tough to manage unless you know someone), you might also want to try Mas (Farmhouse) down in the West Village. It’s a little gem with the 2nd or 3rd highest Zagat rating going on 5 years now. Organic, French cuisine that’s really amazing…though your SD has to not mind the potential of a 4 figure dinner. (Though you can keep it under 1K if you choose to be thrifty with with wine selection.)

    When are you coming our way? We’ve been casually tossing around mentions here and their for another casual sugar blog happy hour.

  108. DC SB says:

    DC isn’t on dirtsearch . com
    HMMMMMMMM I take it they rate “really crappy” on making public records known.

    Thanks NYC SB. 7th doesn’t work. Sad faces.

    sfsb – I definitely would have walked after the first inapprop joke. Always go with your gut instinct.

  109. SWPA Gent says:

    Hi all. I have found that the resturants in New York are very refreshing even though they can regularly exceed the cost of Philadelphia resturants.

    I have never really been concerned about the costs of dinner as I only had time to see my ladies 1 or 2 times a week. So I always looked for the experience more so. Time with them was always so relaxing so resturant location was only a question of fitting into my schedule.

    Now looking for a new sugarbaby after having two over a span of six years seems a daunting task. This site has been interesting. I am a new member and I thought that I’d take a look to see if it would be helpful.

    How do you manage your sugar selection process?

    I find this as no easy task because you often end up comparing what you read in the profiles to your own past experiences. I had a young (22) and a mature (34) year old. Both women were unique and very different from each other. But the peace of mind they provided was price-less. And provided on different levels if that makes any sense.

    So I would start with the photo & profiles. Then an email. If the email is not responded to in a week I would move on to the next selected group.

    Because time is precious to me because my travel is not always expected or preplanned as I would hope, so I am making flexability a criteria for selection. This will be part of the early email correspondence.

    What is a simple way to agree on a location and/or activity for the 1st meet?

    I prefer a nice dinner at a popular resturant where I can hear the conversation because the lady deserves to hear not only what I am saying but how I am saying what is said. I in turn, must also be able to hear her words as well.

    Have you ever had (or turned down) an arrangement that was too complicated?

    Yes. I recently turned down an offer as the young woman was soley interested in money and money and money.
    Don’t get me wrong, money is needed in this world to live in comfort. But I rejected this offer of companionship.

    Any sugar news to report?

    No. This is my first blog here. Just want to say Hi everyone!

  110. NYCBella says:

    SfBaby~Welcome. Sounds like you had a real winner there! Watch out, or Naughty Molly will spank you for even mentioning anal play w/o her permission…lol.

    Austin~I do like Chicago, but I still say that noone can really compete with The Big Apple (I’m pretty biased though 😉 ) But to me, dining should be an experience…so ambiance and great company plays in heavily with my palate being pleased.

  111. AustinSD says:

    SFbaby – welcome – I’m new too. As far as your pot SD goes I think you should have tossed your drink in his face and walked out the door. Actually I think a good slap would be even more effective.

  112. NYC SB says:

    sfbaby – awww… YAY! thanks for reading the blog… and dirtsearch is AWESOME… eww on your pot though… NEXT that one… there are real gentleman on here as I am sure you will come to realize

    DC SB – they are usually booked. try calling the restaurant… open table shows only one availability for feb which is on the 7th.

  113. AustinSD says:

    NYCBella – Thanks for the welcome and I’d say if you want to eat head to Chicago. Hands-down the best restaurants in North America Trotters, Alinea, MK, Merlo, Everest, Spring, Blackbird, Avec and on and on.

  114. DC SB says:

    I haven’t been to Per Se, but my SD is taking me up to NYC next weekend so I’ll definitely have to tell him let’s stop by — how far out do we need reservations? Anyone know?

  115. sfbaby says:

    Hello sugarland,
    I’ve lurked here on occasion, but after peeking at NYC SB’s blog I thought I ought to make my first post and say thanks to everyone who contributes here. It’s really great to get different perspectives on sugarland and what it means to different people.

    I wanted to thank NYC SB in particular for the link on her blog that directed me to dirtsearch.org, where I discovered that a not-so-sugar-daddy on here that I had once pined after actually has a history of lying, cheating, and financually fraudulent behavior with exes. I guess now I know to dig a little deeper next time – if only I had known early enough to save myself the heartache.. but really it was pretty apparent early on that he had no intentions to “Share the Wealth” as he claims.

    After recently rejoining the site, I had my first date with a pot last night. You know it’s not going to be a good night when it starts off with an ill-humored joke aimed at your deceased mother, based solely on racial grounds. I think I missed my que to leave, because if that wasn’t bad enough, it was absolutely mortifying to be sitting in a very upscale bar, only to have your date (very) loudly ask you “How old were you the first time you [enter type of sodomy here]?” I nearly spit my drink in his face.. eek.. I would have much preferred to be sitting next to one of the more mature and dignified men instead.

  116. NYCBella says:

    NCGent~that’s awesome!

  117. NYCBella says:

    DC~LMAO!!! Are you serious?! This kid must have watched “Big” one too many times. If only my pot SDs would take a leak in the bushes (So that’s what I’ve been missing!!!)…of course they’d probably be arrested for disorderly conduct and I’m sure they’d really piss off whichever cafe owner’s window boxes it was (no pun intended)…but atleast it would make for something to remember them by. I think so many people in this city get to the point where they’re just running on auto pilot.

    Well, unless there’s X or V involved. Oh, btw…noone ever really answered this about those two.

    V can be used recreationally and is said to intensify someone of normal erectile capabilities sensations/duration. I.e. Perma-wood…which can be good if you’re really into tantra, I suppose. Of course it does defeat the purpose and technique behind tantra.

    X gets scary because it can be cut with anything, and you never know what chemicals were used…no 2 pills are necessarily alike.

  118. NYC SB says:

    NYC Bella – I love the food at Per Se … you are right though there are many other places that have amazing food without the pretension … however for me a dining experience at Per Se usually means an elegant night out where you can leisurely savor 7 course dinner with a special someone

  119. NC Gent says:

    Hi Bella — that was from last season. He was in Florida and she was from Boston. The guy was worth $100+ million and acted like an adolescent rock star that was stuck in the 1980s. She hung up on him when he called the next week to see her again. She kept on saying how important physical fitness and a healthy lifestyle was to her — and he kept bringing out the junk food — poor girl probably was starving!

  120. Naughty Molly says:

    I see all of you are being good boys and girls 😀

  121. DC SB says:

    Bella – oh goodness. You missed a GOOD episode. This guy was .. 30something, but dressed straight out of Hot Topic almost (tons of bracelets, rings, necklaces that were “goth” and “punk”), had t-shirts that were like heavy metal related, had a bowl hair cut.. MILLIONS of bucks, private jet, huge mansion, driver, the whole nine yards (I think he started his own website or something to that effect). Had kids, but the ex wife had custody – anyway, he got this GORGEOUS girl, flew her out to FL (where he lived) and in the jet he was like, do you want milk and cookies? And ate an entire bag of oreos and milk. Then they get to his place and he’s like want some potato skins? Hahaha. Apparently he eats all junk food. So then they were golfing and he needs to pee, but instead of walking the 5 feet to his house, he pees right behind her in the bushes WHILE talking to her in plain site.. then jet skis with her and intentionally cuts in front of her so she gets DRENCHED.

  122. DC SB says:

    NC – the nimrod definitely had a gorgeous girl. He couldn’t keep his idiocracy to himself for a WHOLE day? Milk and cookies? Potato Skins? Gross. I can’t believe he actually spawned children.. he’s like 4 years old himself.
    & hauling junk guy like a few of the other guys with this “let me test them” theory is kind of dumb. They go to the agency because they’re looking for a millionaire, what do you expect?

    Iconoclast – you would have infinitely better luck looking for men SDs, I would imagine. It’s definitely the year of the sugar mama, but there just aren’t as many women who (like someone mentioned earlier) willing to spoil their SB.. It’s mostly cougar/cub/sex/relationship.

  123. NYCBella says:

    Lily~Yay! Congrats, honey!

    NC Gent/DC~Wait, when did I miss the peeing in the bushes story?!??!?!

    LASB~That’s pretty funny! Hey, you know egg donors make 8K a pop! So, looks like your stock just went way up!!!

  124. NYCBella says:

    Hola, Sugars!!! I’m baaaaack…not that anyone really missed my little ramblings. Finally caught up on the blog! Ok…the last 5 days have been crazy!

    Taylor (aka Lily) and Elegant~I see you two are writing blogs of your own now. Congrats, I’ll try and take a peek soon.

    Austin and anyone else new~Welcome!

    NY Gent~I agree with you…allowance (atleast in NY) is not age exclusive.

    Oh, and btw, why does everyone continuously rave about Per Se? I went there the first month it opened on a whim after a trip to the museum with my ex (who owns one of the other hottest and most exclusive restaurants in the city…hmmm, maybe that’s why we were seated immediately w/o a reservation and we were dressed on the casual side?). The owner and exec chef were nice, but I can’t say that their cuisine is anything that really stood out to me. Esp, in a city with soooo many dining options. Whereas, I still distinctly remember details about the food preparation of the dinner that I had at Asia de Cuba almost 5 yrs ago with a certain blue blood (no names, of course), or the first time I tried Ethiopian food at a little hole in the wall on the LES. Some places, to me really deserve their rep, but others are more a combo of hype and averageness.

  125. NC Gent says:

    That guy who peed in the bushes was such a nimrod. I think the guy who did the junk haul learned his lesson. Both of those guys were on dates with women that were sooooo out of their league and they didn’t even go out of their way to “spoil” them — idiots!

  126. Iconoclast says:

    DC SB: Haven’t tried other sites… never really bothered to look too far into it.

    Though it makes me wonder if I should be looking for SD’s for better success. Lol. Never thought too much about that one either though. Heh.

  127. DC SB says:

    NC I love it too. It’s my unhealthy guilty pleasure, but way better than potato chips. A lot of the guys are terribly clueless. The guy who made his date haul junk with him? Or another guy who peed in the bushes on his first date? Ah!
    But, also.. a lot of the women are equally crazyyyyyyy.

  128. NC Gent says:

    Congrats Lily — but what did you wear?

  129. DC SB says:

    I think sugar dating is like real estate. NYC and LA SBs can command more because LA and NYC SDs make more. In the same way that a really nice studio in the financial district, which isn’t even the most premier manhattan neighborhood could run you up to 3K, but for 3K a month you can afford a 10 bedroom mini mansion in Utah.

  130. NC Gent says:

    DC SB — I just love that show!! some of those men are soooo clueless it is hilarious!

  131. Lily a k a taylor says:

    Guys… The date was amazing. I want him so bad. Our good night kiss blew up the whole main street in this city. What passion. He wants me to accompany on his work trip to cologne, germany next week. Yum.

  132. NC Gent says:

    I think a potential SM could just hit a bar were younger men hang out and do fine without having to put up money. Cougars are en vogue these days!

  133. DC SB says:

    Iconoclast I just don’t think there are a lot of SMs and straight male SBs out there yet.. In all the episodes of Millionaire Matchmaker I’ve watched (yes, I watch it religiously, and I’ve done whole day marathons) I’ve only seen 2 millionaire mama’s and only 1 was looking for a younger male.
    Have you tried other sites? Like googling “sugar mommy sites” etc? Not really sure.

  134. NC Gent says:

    NYG — I usually drop about $150 to $200 on a sugar dinner and that is at a super nice restaurant. $1500 a month to an SB in most southeast cities is meaningful money. I think most SBs in larger coastal cities would pass on that.

  135. LASB says:

    Iconoclast – I agree with NYC SB, in that there are very few SMs on here and probably on SA also. My guess would be that the ones you are chatting with who want all sorts of unsavory juicy details are probably men in disguise. Women don’t act that way.

  136. NYC SB says:

    AustinSD – the wall street guys are not what they used to be… but yes in NYC money seems abundant. Even with a recession most restaurants are still full to capacity and I am yet to “go dutch” on a date… When it comes to an SD date I dont even offer to pay… if he asks me to pay then I have a confirmation that he is no SD at all

    Iconoclaust – I dont think there are any SMs blogging… there are couple of male SB bloggers and they are experiencing the same thing you are

  137. NYGent says:

    JamesNY/NC Gent: re “sugar flinging” in Manhattan, most NYC SB’s will be accustomed to dinner at places where the tab will run between $200 and $500 for two, depending on wine. Then there are your Per Se’s and Masa’s which will be much, much more. So 4-5 dinners a month could end up approaching what passes for an allowance in some places.

  138. AustinSD says:

    NYGent – I think it is how the profile is structured. Here one of the default question is how much to you want to spend and for the SB how much does she want to charge. On the other site there is nothing like that. They also lead off the question of whether or not you are looking for strictly an SD/SB relationship. Most of the young women are strictly and most of the older women aren’t.

    NC Gent – I’m quite certain I couldn’t afford much in NYC either. Thankfully Austin is so much more reasonable. I’m an executive in the semiconductor industry and unfortunately we don’t make anything near to what the Wall St guys do. Of course we have much bigger upsides with options and equity. There are many more billionaires from technology than from finance.

  139. Iconoclast says:

    I suppose I’d fall under “sugar baby”, as it is currently defined, though I feel amazingly awkward saying it. I’ve been rather curious about something. I think I’m an attractive enough guy, and certainly intelligent enough, but I’ve yet to receive many replies, and those that do seem to be purely fictional, as if they’re seeking delicious details online but aren’t serious about seeking any actual arrangement or relationship.

    What is it that is desired? I’m honest and open and I would have thought those desirable traits, but people seem to shy away from it. I mean… I don’t sit there spouting that I’d like to do this or that to whomever… I do have courtesy and I’m certainly polite enough.

    Additionally, I don’t over-complicate things either. I do not vest anything into anyone without their wanting it, aside from perhaps a romantic interest that I keep to myself in real life. If someone wants complicated, I can do that, if they want simple, I can do that, yet it never appears to appease anyone. *Sigh* Even on a straight-forward website women still manage to complicate things. Heh…

    I was wondering if I could get some feedback on this from some of the “sugar momma’s” here.

  140. DC SB says:

    James, I definitely agree with what you said. I did most of my thesis research on Mary and her role within the Catholic Church – while the immaculate conception didn’t become official dogma until the 19th century- it was a wide held belief centuries earlier. I absolutely agree about the double standard. The Catholic Church especially created a religion in which men rule the house, the country and the church. But! of course, they found a negative correlation between wanting to craft Jesus into the son of God, and him being born of a common, regular female – hence the idea of the Immaculate Conception (as well as the Assumption – Mary and Jesus were the only two in the Bible who went to Heaven body and soul because in order to bear the child of God, Mary also had to be born free of original sin).
    So Mary is a bit of an exception to the rule, but for the most part women were regulated to the sidelines of society in more ways than one..
    Anyway, I think what the US is experiencing currently with regards to sex in culture, media, personal lives etc. is equivalent to post-Franco Spain’s boom of sexual renaissance (see: any Almodovar film). Post the first half of the century, the late 60s and 70s were born. With waves of conservativism, come waves of liberalism it seems.

  141. JamesNY says:

    Austin SD, hear hear on the splitting of the check. Like holding doors open, and not sitting down before the lady does, just good old fashioned manners. More food for thought re Heinlein — having raised two kids, it might take a while to wrap my mind around communal parenting. I know it takes a village and all that, which is true, but personality formation in a child is very parent and nuclear family-specific, in my view. For better or worse I suppose.

    Off to catch a plane, good luck to all.

  142. CA Dreamin SB says:

    As a part of the over 30 crowd here on SA, I agree with NY Gent’s assessment

  143. NYGent says:

    AustinSD: interesting your observation about over and under 30 on another site, but I don’t think it’s true on SA. That is, 90+% of SBs here are looking for a set allowance, regardless of whether they are under or over 30, in my experience.

    NYGent (not to be confused with NC Gent)

  144. NC Gent says:

    I am 100% certain I can’t afford an SB from the NYC area :)

  145. JamesNY says:

    NC Gent, great term “sugar flinger.” I live in Manhattan and you’d better show some serious flinging, I mean NYC SB and Elegant level G5 style flinging, if you’re going to attract desirable SBs here. Plus I’m more comfortable with a well defined set of mutual expectations.

  146. AustinSD says:

    NC Gent – from what I have seen of the hundreds of profiles on the other site I’m on ) the vast majority of older women are looking for something that will lead to a long term relationship. The young women want NSA and an allowance. None of the older than 30 women I have talked with have expressed any desire for an allowance they just want to be appreciated. One particularly gorgeous women that I am seeing tomorrow just asked that we not “go dutch” on a nice dinner.

    My grandmother would roll over in her grave if I ever asked any woman I was on a date with to split a check, much less a SB. What is the world coming to when a women even has to ask that question?

  147. AustinSD says:

    JamesNY – Actually you really need to read most of Heinlein’s later works where he expands on polyamory. His point was that children would be substantially better off with multiple parents as it would allow some parents to go off and work or study for extended durations to benefit the family. Also the family would never die as young partners are brought in to offset dead or dying partners.

  148. LASB says:

    NC Gent – I believe that SDs come in all flavors. Some are not into the monthly allowance, but it doesn’t mean that they don’t spoil their SBs in a big way. A “wealthy man looking for an affair” could very well be an SD, but is not necessarily so, sort of the way cereal may be Cheerios, but is not necessarily so.

  149. NC Gent says:

    Bye Molly — I am watching you too :)

  150. NC Gent says:

    AustinSD – I find that interesting what you said about SBs. I recently had an amicable, civil discussion with an SB-friend and she said that I was a wealthy man looking for an affair. Mainly because I go for SBs that would date me if I wasn’t married; we never really discussed the allowance; the SBs I saw were more interested in experiences than the money; we were good friends, and the SB would have kept seeing me if I couldn’t come up with the allowance for one month. Maybe I am a sugar flinger rather than a sugar daddy – there is some truth to what she said. I think a lot of other sugar daddies are really sugar flingers — interested in others thoughts on it.

  151. Naughty Molly says:

    O.K. I’m off to run errands. I assume everyone will behave while I’m gone? NC…I’m watching you….always watching…hehehehe

  152. LASB says:

    AustinSD – I hear ya on the marriage. I don’t really like that the government tells us who and how many we can marry. I think it mixes the church and state too much, which are supposed to be separate entities.

  153. JamesNY says:

    AustinSD, I’d forgotten that polyamory was in that book — I should read it again, sober this time. Very interesting point about multiple shareholders. From a financial point of view, it’s the logical extension. The wrinkle is parenting.

  154. LASB (who is not trying to be someone's eugenics experiemiment) says:

    Cali – No prob. Anytime is cool. My work week is insane, but my social calendar is pretty open.

  155. AustinSD says:

    Good afternoon all,

    Liliy – I’ll chime in as an SD – the white doesn’t do anything for me and I am so not a fan of leggings. The red outfit with necklace is sexy, classy and just a little whimsical.

    Exclusivity discussion – I am firmly on the exclusive side and based on my first few SB meetings that will not be a problem in Austin. Women here seem to be more of the gift and travel girlfriend. Allowances are for the twenty somethings that I don’t have much interest in. I guess maybe I’m not really an SD, just a very good boyfriend. Only time will tell.

    James – for some thought provoking reading on marriage and family check out Robert A Heinlein’s – Stranger in a Strange Land – he was a very forward thinker and a big proponent of polyamory and group marriage. By and large I agree that eventually mankind will evolve to that state but today we are just not there. Just look at gay marriage – to me marriage from the state’s perspective should be gender blind and basically a corporation. Anyone of legal age should be allowed to incorporate with anyone else. Of course once it is viewed as a corporation then why not multiple shareholders. That is where things get interesting.

  156. LASB (who is not trying to be someone's eugenics experiemiment) says:

    Growing up, it sucked to be made fun of by all the white kids, or to be glared at when Pearl Harbor was taught in history class. So really, I’m happy that we are finally “trendy.” For the most part, I have nothing against the Asiaphiles, and will use it to my advantage, but if they get too freaky or I’m feeling objectified then it’s “NEXT.”

  157. JamesNY says:

    NC Gent, exactly! Mine will be large, with a big fire, and feature lots of ceremonial dancing. And don’t get that Naughty Molly riled up, we want to keep her in a good mood for the party!

  158. LASB — I’m such a lazy bum right now. I don’t even feel like logging out of my email to log into my other one. lol I will email you in a bit! :) And I’m not familiar, just have a couple of assumptions about where might be a good place to try. :)

  159. LASB says:

    Another good one was with a non sugar a few years ago. He said he wanted to take me to his favorite Japanese restaurant. He grew up in the Bay Area in CA, where it’s very multicultural, so the guy should have known better. But we get there and the menu is won ton, sweet and sour, and chow mein. So I said, “Did you tell me that we were going to your favorite Japanese place?” He was like “yeah!” HAHAHAHAHA!

  160. LASB says:

    Oh yeah, it was funny!! I mean, I sort of sensed it in an earlier email when he said,
    “What part of asia are you from?” followed by a comment about how wonderful Eurasian children are. So then I asked a few specific questions and got that answer. When a guy starts to assume that I’m from Asia or asks me my “nationality” I start to wonder if they are super ignorant. Of course, I always give people the benefit of the doubt, but from there, it usually doesn’t take long to see if they just don’t know better (maybe they grew up in a small town) or if they are total freakazoid asiaphiles.

    Cali – Let’s do it! Email me and let me know where you want to go. I think you know the scene better than I do.

  161. NC Gent says:

    Well nice to meet you — we can rule our mancaves at night!

  162. JamesNY says:

    NC Gent, thanks, I’ve been around off and on but I think this is the first time we’ve communicated “directly” on a subject. I don’t know about the SD’s ever ruling the blog, not with all of these strong women — I’d be happy to let them run Sugar Island by day as long as I get to keep my place in it by night. :-)

  163. I just ate Sprinkles for breakfast. :-X The banana cupcakes are not nearly as good as I had hoped. I’ve tried all but a couple at this point, my favorites remain: milk chocolate, red velvet, dark chocolate, and lemon. MMMMM!

  164. Naughty Molly says:

    I’m ready when you are NC, but I’ll tell you now that you won’t win.

  165. NC Gent says:

    Hi Cali! Sorry but that is hilarious LASB. I sense a fight Molly :)

  166. LASB — Wow, that’s crazy! This is why we need to go freestyle instead. :) I’m free when you are!

    lol @ NC Gent and NM

  167. Sweety says:

    NC~ I agree we need more SDs here!

    LASB~ omg! lol what the hell? some of these guys …. wow…

  168. Naughty Molly says:

    Not if I can help it NC….HAHAHAHA *cracks whip*

  169. JamesNY says:

    LASB, wow … just, wow.

  170. NC Gent says:

    No problem JamesNY — welcome to the blog — we need more SDs here… hopefully some day there will be more SDs than SBs and we will rule the blog (evil laughter and music in background)

  171. LASB says:

    In terms of exclusivity, I’m open to either, but I’d prefer to just have one really spectacular SD or two that know of each other. I don’t think I’d want to juggle more than that because it gets too confusing for me.

    JamesNY – Sounding ridiculous? Well, I think it’s ok to just say how you feel. However, if you want to know what sounds ridiculous, a pot I was emailing back and forth finally revealed his true motives. He is seeking an Asian woman because he find “eurasian children to be attractive and intelligent.” Plus, his sister already has 4 children with an Asian guy, and they turned out well, so there’s his proof. Since I’m not interested in being someone’s Asian egg donor and incubator, NEXXXXXTTTTTT!!!

  172. Sweety says:

    JamesNY~ your welcome! And I agree with you that exclusivity should be discussed and agreed by both involved!

    Photo~ that is awesome YAY…

  173. JamesNY says:

    Sweety, thanks for the simple and elegant solution!

    NC Gent, sorry, I didn’t mean to suggest that exclusivity is ridiculous if that’s what each party wants. It can be a noble bond between lovers. I did mean to suggest that a man in our circumstances who demands it from a woman we meet here risks making himself look ridiculous, even if the young lady appears to agree — a lesson I learned the hard way! Put another way, it’s a bad idea to demand a promise that you can’t possibly enforce. From my own personal experience, I’ve come to favor OC’s “don’t ask don’t tell” policy.

  174. Anna Molly says:

    That’s great PG!! I’m so happy for you!! You deserve it!! 😀

  175. photogirl says:

    It is Anna! But I am also celebrating!!! WooHoo! Got great news about some up coming work :)

    Drinks for everyone :)

    As far as exclusivity or not… I agree… It is a choice and I personally prefer to have that discussion up front to determine an agreeable options for both!

  176. James says:

    DC SB, it’s hard to separate our views on monogamy from our views on religion, reproduction and gender. The current notions evolved from times when birth control was not available, when venereal disease was more rampant and less easily treated, when women couldn’t vote and were treated as the property of their husbands. Many of our moral and romantic conventions arose during the Victorian era, which was also an age of amazing hypocrisy (among men). It’s no coincidence that the doctrine of immaculate conception did not become official dogma of the Catholic Church until 1854. As the various social, legal and economic underpinnings of the traditional American marriage contract fall away, it seems inevitable to me that the nature of the agreements will change as well.

    And I agree with you, the ability to honor a commitment to another deserves praise and credit. My point is that a meaningful commitment could take various forms, and for some people need not require sexual exclusivity. There are so many shades of gray. For example, I’ve often observed that many of the fanciest, most socially acceptable “gentleman’s clubs” are in cities in the Bible Belt. I find those more problematic in some ways than sugar arrangements. They are more impersonal and therefore less threatening to a marriage, I suppose, but for the same reason more sexually objectifying. Cartoon sexuality.

  177. Sweety says:

    Anna: i’m good… I hate the cold though lol… need me some sunshine! 8)

  178. Anna Molly says:

    Hey Sweety!! Yes, it has been a while and I’m doing great! How are you?

  179. Sweety says:

    Photo: Yes girl… Pass on a drink please 8)

  180. Anna Molly says:

    Hey there PG! Is it happy hour already? 😀

  181. Sweety says:

    Hi Everyone!

    James: maybe you should add your state in your handle!

    Taz: hi girl!

    Anna: it’s been a long time, how are you?

  182. photogirl says:

    I just have to say that Patrón XO Cafe is delicious!
    Thanks Elegant!
    It is 5 o’clock somewhere right?

    Hello everyone! :)

  183. NC Gent says:

    I agree with James and Molly — exclusivity is a choice, but it should not be expected in a sugar arrangement, but at the same time, the possibility shouldn’t be excluded. Just because some people feel it is ridiculous, it doesn’t mean everyone thinks it is ridiculous :)

  184. DC SB says:

    I do give people who wish to be exclusive, always – a lot of credit. That definitely takes more will power than being in an open relationship, or dating outside of a relationship.

  185. James says:

    Taz, no problem, we’ve been trying to sort out the confusion of two Jameses.

    AM, a gift freely given is all the sweeter.

  186. DC SB says:

    Good morning everyone. Lots of interesting topics on the table.

    James, I agree with you – I think if either an SD or SB is married/in a relationship slapping “exclusive” on the situation is slightly awkward considering they are not exclusive with their significant other.. so really exclusive should be dropped from the agreement and maybe just seen as, I’m with you and obviously (wife/husband/bf/gf/fiance).

    I do think humans as a species was not meant for monogamy at all, and we can see that throughout history.. I think this idea of exclusive/one mate idea is more of a recent phenomenom thanks to religion/morals more so than physical will..
    Certain animals mate for life, and it’s adorable- but most do not. I agree society needs to re-evaluate it’s stance on being “faithful” and own up to the fact that it REALLY seems like the vast majority of married couples, or couples in general, cheat – once. And if you don’t cheat, your partner might/has/will. And if not, it’s very much an exception to the rule.

    Those are just my ideas..

  187. Anna Molly says:

    James ~ As I said before….it is my choice to be exclusive and I agree that exclusivity should be a choice and not demanded by either party.

  188. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    LMFAO – not james.m – JAMES 😛

  189. James says:

    Ms. Molly, glad to hear it! 😉

  190. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    james.m – your wisdom is appreciated :) I concur.

    AM – still have my profile hidden and don’t want to unhide it at all lol. We have not met yet – we both have some things to take care of first and agreed it would be better this way…which is a good thing because he got sick this week anyway lol! So in the next couple of weeks though! How is your sugar search my dear??

    OC – do you think you could shoot me an email?? I have something I would like to ask you if you could spare a few :)

  191. Jayde5502 says:

    Busy = I’m just not that into you, huh? I should read that book. I’ve been talking with a potential for almost 2 weeks. He lives in CA, I in OR. Nothing seems to be happening. I’d like to think I’m fluent in man language, but I guess I’m just looking for confirmation of what I already know. I am pretty frustrated in the sugarbowl. If I would have been smart with my first sd, I wouldn’t have had an sd.

    Just venting…off to Zumba :)

  192. Anna Molly says:

    James ~ I agree with you 100% on everything you just said 😉

    Good morning to everyone that just joined the party :)

  193. Paige says:

    Molly: I always ask a pot how he want me to dress before I turn up for a first date, hey I thought that was sort sort of thing was the essence of being a good SB. Several have said discreet so discreet they got but several have said hot so short, figure hugging and what was your expression? tons of cleavage was what they got. Sevaral of the guys who said hot were married but mostly from way out out of town or another country.

    NYC SB: Thanks I’ll take a look at your bloggs

  194. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Morning all – don’t have any enlightening comments this morning…yet

  195. James says:

    Good morning all! AM, it may be because I just saw Avatar, but I think your trivia question needs a qualifier: first organized sport of Europeans in America. Which was immediately followed (or perhaps prompted) by the “sport” of gambling on horse races!

    On the subject of exclusivity, personally I feel it’s ridiculous for a married SD to demand or expect exclusivity from someone he sees only a few times a month, and if he does he’s only setting himself up for a fall. I’m not even sure why it would be an issue so long as you’re there for each other when it’s your time to be together, it seems purely possessive and smacks of weakness to me. If an SB chooses to be “exclusive” and see only one SD, that’s lovely and sweet and may make a man feel proud and protective, but it should be her decision based on what makes her happy.

    I go further and say that I think the issue of monogamy in marriage is (and should be) undergoing some serious societal reconsideration, from a number of different perspectives. The core of any good partnership is trust and mutual respect. It seems to me that enduring male-female partnerships could be formed that would include sexual activity with others, while maintaining a framework of essential trust. It would take a great deal of self-confidence and communication, to be sure. But I think there’s a lot to learn from polyamorous arrangements and I think our society is moving that way, in fits and starts and spasms.

  196. NYC SB says:

    Paige – Elegant, Lili (aka Taylor) and I have personal blogs. If you click on any of our names it will take you there.

  197. Molly says:

    Good Morning!

    I know I advise dressing like you are going for a job interview – but I always wear really killer sexy heels or boots! Something to look sexy – and with a high quality dress or suit and tasteful, expensive jewelry. You are beautiful, classic, and a treasure to be lavished with the best of everything – look and act like it. I think as SBs we create the image of the man we want and can attract them through having sexy and real profiles great pics but also showing your classy exterior when you meet. I have lots of sexy lingerie & outfits which I bring out that the appropriate times – like when I am alone with my SD or when we are traveling and he isn’t worried about being seen. My pot last evening told me that once he was meeting a SB at a hotel bar and once he walked in and saw that she was really looking super risque and standing out with tons of cleavage, etc. he turned around and walked out – he said that since he is married, discretion & good judgement from his SB is important – as important as the hot body and great looks. It is a small world out there even in a big city and powerful men (married or not) want to keep their affairs discreet – with smart, beautiful women. (BTW – this pot last night was OK…blah I guess. I going to keep looking. This is really fun when it is a great connection.)

  198. Paige says:

    I joined seeking last summer when I started university in London and have delighted with it and so so grateful to the blog for educating me in the ways of the sugarbowl.Most of the men I have met have been on business in London so only visit occasionally. I have only met some for coffee and know I didn’t want to take things further and I have met some fo dinner and decided to go no further at that point but I have taken things further with several guys. I have only met up with most of them occasionally and some of the relationshios have come to an end already for various reasons but I wanted to meet up at least once a week preferably twice or occasionally three times and I have not found a SD who can offer that and anyway I rather like meetng a viriety of men, I get to learn all sorts of things about all sorts of jobs and industries and ways of life and to spend time wit several interising men. Sure I go to bed with them but hey I’m 18, I cannt be expected to manage on sex once or twice a month. It works for me, it works for them, so we are all happy.

    Hey what are these personal blogs I keep hearing about, where can I find them? Do tell.


  199. NYC SB says:

    Elegant – Seconds???? Whats next? You will want a soda with your meal?

    I might allow it but only if you love me long time 😛

    Clearly Im in a super silly mood today… could it be the chocolate covered strawberies and champagne from last night?… nah its GOTTA be the chips and salsa

  200. Kiki says:

    good morning everyone ~ just popping in to say hi :)

    AM i used to play trivia in uni, same team every week, give or take a player or two, and we’d each have a category or subject that we were the go-to person for … we hardly ever won but it was still a blast

    Lily good luck!!

    as far as sugar news goes, i don’t have anything exciting to tell. the dr. that i was chatting with poofed….. BIG SIGH…. but if nothing else, at least i can still read the blog 😛

  201. ElegantSugar says:

    I should throw my BB out the window before I get arrested for SA Blogging and driving. Egads.

  202. ElegantSugar says:

    NYC SB: It’s a deal! My favorite spot for street meat is on Ave of Americas outside of Hilton! May I order seconds?

  203. NYGent says:

    Flo Ri — I mean, Elegant: deal.

  204. ElegantSugar says:

    Very funny, NYGent! Pretty certain that jab was well-deserved though. The good news is I will buy a dress on clearance (last season even, egads) in order to afford a nicer bottle of wine. Oh, and I happen to know you can get a nice bottle of Chateuneuf-du-Pap for $22 at the Artisanal Bistro on Park Ave. (With a side of Foie Gras, please?) I will go in halvesies!

  205. NYC SB says:

    OC – My experience has been “Don’t ask, don’t tell” as well … You are right this is sugar dating… I wont ever tell an SD “Yes we are exclusive” unless I really am… My NYC SD casually mentioned that he is no longer meeting girls from the sites so maybe this relationship is slowly turning towards exclusivity but until this is confirmed I will keep my options open 

    If I was with an SD who is married I would expect a non exclusive arrangement on both sides. I love dating (sugar and non) and refuse to give it up unless I get an SD who is single and is willing to pursue a traditional relationship… but all the stars need to be aligned for that 😀

    Also, $ugar retirement home? Muse and I will make it happen … we have like 40 years until you need it 😉

    Flo – my bonus is missing some zeros! You and elegant must have pulled some ninja moves and erased the zeros… I want them BACK!

    Hiya Midwest – MISS YA!

    IRLSD – did you say cancel???? I almost fell off my chair…

    Elegant – when you come to NYC we are going shopping… you will be my stylist and as a reward I will take you to the subway and buy you some street meat 😛

  206. Anna Molly says:

    Thanks for the warning NYGent..LOL. I will let you be in charge of the wine selection for the evening…you are the gentleman after all :)

  207. NYGent says:

    AM: thanks. just don’t let Elegant pick the wine, you may need 3 SDs to finance it (!)

  208. NYGent says:

    Taylor: dissenting vote, for first date I’d go with the red outfit with necklace (#1)

  209. Anna Molly says:

    Looks Like I’m buying Elegant and NYGent a drink!! Good going you two!!

  210. Anna Molly says:

    Hey Taz!! How are you? Anything new with your Pot.?

    Hi PG! Good to see you! :)

    Elegant ~ I have your answer and now we just have to wait until NYGent gives his :)

    If it’s a tie again, I’ll buy you both a drink :)

  211. NC Gent says:

    Interestingly, the white tights didn’t do it for me either and I thought more of a beige would work. I didn’t notice any accessories though… maybe I am becoming more in touch with my feminine side as I mature :)

  212. NYGent says:

    horse racing, but looks like i’m late.

  213. ElegantSugar says:

    Ack! Running late!!

    Taylor: The white sweater dress. But are you wearing white tights? (I can’t tell from your photo.) If so, you need to put on darker ones to balance out the white and brown of your boots. Perhaps brown tones with a bit of texture. White tights are a NO with a white dress. Also, gold accessories or long beaded necklace in earth tones. Now, keep in mind, your figure looks fabulous so listen to what the men here are saying…he probably won’t notice details like we do.

    Gotta Run!

    AM: I will go with horse racing!

    Hi Photogirl, Taz, everyone ele…

  214. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Lily/Taylor – white sweater dress for sure!!

    How is everyone?? Have been more of a lurker lately however I am staying caught up :)

  215. Anna Molly says:

    Lily ~ I’m going with the white sweater dress too :)

    Elegant ~ Which one are you going to choose? Dog or horse racing…pick one and then we’ll see what NYGent comes up with :)

    Since both of you are in NYC, your prize will be a drink on me next time I’m there :)

  216. photogirl says:

    Good morning!

    Lily – I like the White sweater dress… But I would take Elegants advice… hope she chimes in for you.

  217. NC Gent says:

    I cast my vote for the white sweater dress

  218. OH, btw, the pics are on my blog, just click on my name.

    I have to run soon… anyone? anyone? beuller?

  219. ElegantSugar says:

    Horse racing? Dog racing?

  220. OK, finally, after my fashionista guru has left, I have outfit choices to vote on.

    White sweater dress, black pants & red sweater outfit with chunky necklace OR with chunky belt…. Hmmmm…

  221. Anna Molly says:

    Elegant ~ No, sorry :(

  222. Anna Molly says:

    NYGent and Elegant ~ You both are correct!

    Here is your tiebreaker question. The first one to post the correct answer wins a prize :)

    What became America’s first organized sport in 1664?

  223. ElegantSugar says:

    NC Gent….you’re a LOVER, not a CHEATER. Ha ha. No, I don’t take offense to the word…I just prefer not to use it.

    OK, REALLY have to run now!

  224. ElegantSugar says:

    This isn’t to say that maybe, just maybe…one day I will want to go into a committed relationship or marriage for myself. Just saying that in cases where the other spouse is no longer ACTIVELY aware of the other person’s needs, I fully understand the need to have an extra-marital affair.

  225. NC Gent says:

    Hi Elegant – I agree with you on that word, but it is thrown around here quite a bit (and I don’t get offended when it is used). Not sure what another good word would be… strayer?? open to suggestions :)

  226. ElegantSugar says:

    NC Gent: I don’t like the word “cheater” at all and don’t feel you should label yourself as that. For no other reason than it carries such a negative tone.

    Men having “Lovers” or “Mistresses” outside their marriages have been going on for centuries. . The puritan element tries to cover that fact with religious stricture, or fear mongering. This is the only country(U.S.) where such relationships are frowned upon with such vituperation.

    Someone said to me once, if I may paraphrase, “do you go through life eating only one food, do you read the same book every day, see the same movie again and again? Do you have only one friend? –Then why should you have a relationship with only one man or woman?”


  227. NC Gent says:

    Good morning all — comment on the exclusivity…. I am married and had an exclusive monogamous arrangement with an SB. We both agreed to it because we wanted to have unprotected sex (yes we got tested). I never cheated on her and I can’t say for sure that she never cheated on me, but I trust her (and have several clean STD scans post relationship). I was faithful to my wife for about 17 years, but I just couldn’t fathom the thought of little or no sex the rest of my life. I saw some SBs post above show dismay over going without sex for a month… trying going without it a year! I wasn’t always a cheater and it wasn’t my plan, but when you are married a long time, things change.

    Taylor — I thought you looked great in that picture. Most guys don’t notice the details on the accessories, me included.

  228. TXSB says:

    Good Morning everyone! Haven’t caught up on the blog yet but wanted to say “hi” before I start reading…. :)

  229. ElegantSugar says:

    Hi Niki!

    AnnaM: Gandhi

  230. NYGent says:

    AM: I’ll guess Gandhi

  231. Niki says:

    Morning AM, Lily, everyone else…dropped in to say hi and maybe get caught up on the blog before I head out for the day. I’ll go with Gandhi for the trivia answer. Lily–great outfit yesterday. I prefer exclusivity and if they don’t bring it up when we agree to see each other, then I usually will. Everyone has their own preferences so if you’re comfortable with having more than one SD, go for it. I’d recommend being upfront about your intentions to see other people at the same time so they can decide if that is something they are comfortable with. Okay…I’ve got to run now. Have a great day everyone.

  232. ElegantSugar says:

    I can’t stop listening to Coldplay, “Trouble” – somewhat dark, but beautiful song. Not one to listen to after a bad break up, that’s for sure. My real heartbreak happened over two years ago and this song still stirs those emotional ‘feelers’.

  233. ElegantSugar says:

    Oh, I hate when I forget to close the html. eek.

  234. ElegantSugar says:

    Lily: If you only knew what I did for a living full-time, you would be sending me photos every single time before your dates! I will be here another 30 minutes or so before rushing out!

  235. ElegantSugar says:

    Very nice, Lily. Not only is the sound very sexy. I’m loving the lyrics! ” Throw all consequence aside and a cheerless pyre we will set alight…”

  236. Great blog topic, Elegant. I’m grumpy you won’t be here to critique my outfit…

  237. My new favorite song for preparing for sugar: Sea Legs by the Shins. Unlikely, I know, but look it up on youtube and have a listen. Those downward chromatic steps in the chorus are just so amazing and it has the most upbeat, hopeful, fun, sexy sound.

  238. Anna Molly says:

    I would tell y’all the answer, but I want to see who gets it right first :)

  239. Cleo! Email me through my blog. I have so many thoughts and ideas about your profile, seriously. Doesn’t hurt to hear me out and take anything you find interesting & disregard the rest, right…?

  240. Ok, I get it, no one else is awake yet. I’m going to try on outfits and post the options for approval.


  241. Anna Molly says:

    Good Morning everyone!

    I couldn’t get on the blog last night after my first post, but thanks guys!

    NYGent ~ My winning Q and A was: Who was the only one out of these four to NOT win a Nobel Peace Prize?

    Mother Teresa
    Nelson Mandela

  242. Sorry for the name change, I know that’s annoying, but I have settled on my online sugar persona on my own blog, so there it is. :)

    SCB, I’m so glad for you!! Yay!!!

    I am meeting a pot in two hours. I already told ya’ll about the itinerary yesterday but ….I’m still excited! woohoo!

  243. SCB......So Cal Blondie says:

    My date with the POT was amazing. he was everything i hoped he would be and more. He was nice, respectful and smart. I hope i made a good impression. We have another date scheduled for next monday!

    Just thought I would update the blog world.

  244. Kiki says:

    taylor and elegant, i checked out your new blogs and they look sweet! good job ladies :)

  245. I’m so horrible at keeping up with the blog lately. Too tired to catch up. Maybe tomorrow. Night all! Finally hitting the sheets before midnight for once! Holy cow! :)

  246. Delyn *427264* formerly DC says:

    IRLSD- this is what my SDs have said as well. And my real life male friends too. Their wives just lose interest. I don’t get it. They are wonderful handsome men. I could never stay in a relationship where there was no affection. That is just sad. But all I am saying is that women usually don’t just lose their affection for their husbands unless it’s hormonal, they are cold and unaffectionate by nature or something happened in the marriage. Men can compartmentalize and have sex. It’s harder for women to be affectionate if they are holding a grudge or there is underlying resentment.

  247. AustinSD says:

    Elegant – that is a new one to me

    Good night.

  248. ElegantSugar says:

    Good night (again), OC! 😉

    Can’t wait to someday hear the Bentley / Handicap story! There is a chance I will be at the LA meet so I’m sure there will be time for story-swapping then.

    I should probably retire for the day myself. Accomplished a ton today though! Designed my new sugar blog was one of my completed tasks. Finished an entire chapter in my latest book as well by staying PLANTED HERE in my office seat ALL THE LIVELONG day!

    Thank goodness I have a pot SD date tomorrow.

    Good night, Sugars!

  249. ElegantSugar says:

    AustinSD: Every time I see a Maserati, I think of the old song, “Some Kind of friend you turned out to be…” (Do you know it?)

    “They say that women like you can’t get enough…
    Got our Maserati built for two.
    They say that women like you like to play with love,
    Is that true?”

    Ha ha.

  250. ElegantSugar says:

    Great story, OC! Thanks for sharing. So in other words, we need to not assume they can read our minds (they are MEN, after all) and make subtle hints when a behavior is presented that is less than desirable to us. I totally get it!

    And please, I hope I didn’t come across as some high-maintenance B for that minor complaint. It’s just difficult going from being treated like a fairytale princess by a SD to being treated in a ‘normal’ sort of way. Those small gestures (opening doors, thinking about the woman’s comfort, etc. don’t cost anything extra!) But it DOES seem they are guaranteed to come in your SD package and quite rare in your ‘everyday’ type of man. As IRLSD stated above, a SD is more apt at being more generous and thoughtful by nature.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Elegant, I have a ton of stories! No you did not sound high-maint. If anything you are a real girl who believes CHIVARLY is not dead.
      I am right there with you on that one, it cost nothing and will bring a very high return.
      Some day I will tell you the story about the pot who drove us in his Bently Convert and when we went to park he tells me to open the glove box to get his “handi-cap” parking hanger! He was only 45

      Ok, really going to pack. Nite 😉

  251. AustinSD says:

    Well I have a Maserati and I never let them valet park it, though they do always let me park right up front.

  252. NYGent says:

    Moon: I think it works both ways. Some SDs will go for the quick score, intimacy-wise, hoping to do so before paying any real $$, knowing it will kill any chance of a more extended arrangement/relationship. Some SBs will go for the quick score, money-wise, hoping to get away without any real intimacy, knowing it may kill the chance of something more ongoing. It is human nature on the part of a lot of people, of both sexes, to go for the short-term benefit at the risk of forfeiting any longer term benefits. The U.S. gov’t does it all the time: it’s called deficit spending.

  253. NYGent says:

    Oc: what’s your handicap? (I mean golf-wise, not SA wise ) (jk)

  254. IRLSD says:

    Good night sugars!

  255. ElegantSugar says:

    MoonPatrol: Not once did I use the word cheap. I enjoy valet parking for many reasons. One, the convenience of not having to walk far in my 4″ heels. It is a considerate thought for a man to not want his date to walk far in heels. Just my OPINION.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Elegant! Sorry had to share this story before I logged off.
      One date (maybe my second sugar pot date) was super sweet, held the doors open, pulled out my chair. Told me I was just the sweetest girl he has met in years. But when we agreed to head to to a new place two blocks down for dessert. He said he would drive. I was glad because I was dying in my heels and if he wanted to walk I was going to scream. He did not valet! I had; so I told him I would have the valet get my car and he could drive. He insisted on us walking to his car which was the equivalent to 1 1/2 blocks the other direction from the place we were headed.
      I stopped dead in my tracks and told him with a great big smile that I would love to do that but hang on a second, and took off my shoes and asked him to swap with me! He got the point and we took my car 😉

  256. IRLSD says:

    OC, I took your advice. Just cancelled the account even though it still has a few months left on it. It’s for the best.

    MoonPatrol, I don’t like valet parking either, but only because I hate waiting for them to pull my car. I am too impatient for that.

  257. MoonPatrol says:

    I don’t like valet parking. I wonder how people with Mercedes and Corvettes give up their keys to a valet guy.! I have a Toyota Matrix and don’t think I’ve Valet parked more than once or twice since getting it three years ago. So.. not wanting to valet park is not equivalent to cheap. Its something else.
    NYG— Some woman are in for the quick one time money haul and yes don’t think what they are losing when doing so. I have been taken for a measly months rent and some nice little clothes which could have put an end to this poor girls quest and constant starting over with new and possibly bad guys.

  258. IRLSD says:

    Delyn, I am about as affectionate and cuddly as they come and I never worked hard my whole life and would cuddle with my wife for hours every day if she’d want to. She just doesn’t. At first she put up with it either because she did not know how to say no or because it was more exciting and as the initial excitement wore off so did her interest in me.

    ElegantSugar, real SDs are probably more generous by nature than the average equally wealthy guy which is why they are drawn to this type of relationship.

    NYGent, I have gone through so many allowance schemes, but I think this is best if there is real interest. It shows that you have the money, trust the SB, and are willing to take the risk. I had a problem doing this with the SB who was seeing four other SDs though.

  259. ElegantSugar says:

    Good night, OC! Have a great time in Austin! :)

  260. ElegantSugar says:

    Good night, Midwest!!! BTW – Did I ever tell you I’m originally from the Midwest?

  261. NYGent says:

    IRL: i’m coming around to your view on allowance. I have tried the “half now, half later” and it always seems a little carrot and sticky and gimmicky. My feeling is just suck it up, pay the whole allowance up front, and if they just take the money and run, or don’t fulfill their end of the bargain, then so be it, they may have “gotten rich (sic) quick,” but if that’s what happens it’s the one and only allowance payment they’ll get from me, so they are only shooting themselves in the foot long term, if they care about the long term (not all do).

  262. IRLSD says:

    NYGent, I agree completely. My IRL SB treated me divinely and I was completely loyal, and I’ve been loyal to SA SBs as well. But I don’t think an SB should realistically expect me to be loyal. I prefer their loyalty mostly from an STD perspective, plus if they cancel a meeting I don’t want to wonder if it was for some other guy.

    I can’t say SB cheating has been a particular problem of mine. One promised exclusivity but set up a date with my alter-ego on SA, and I didn’t confront her till I was planning to end things. And she said that at first she was looking for alternatives but stopped once I paid her the full allowance (and it’s true, she was no longer logging in). And another time I had the SB with too many long-distance pots, so I dumped her. Can’t say she was cheating per se, but I did tell her she’d get only a minimal allowance if she was not exclusive. But I am realistic and know that other people have complicated love lives as well, so if they are not by my side they might be in bed with someone else.

  263. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Goodnight sugars…sweet dreams whatever your sugar desires may be!!

  264. ElegantSugar says:

    IRLSD: I have always been exclusive to just one SD at a time. Always. And I mean exclusive as in only having ONE SD. I dated randomly IRL while I was in those arrangements though. Again, my SDs have been married (but my cases have been quite rare it seems as in both cases, their sugar dating were not secret to their spouses as they were in open marriages – and I had no reason to believe they were being dishonest about this).

    HOWEVER, I DO have a comment about dating IRL while you have a SD. It is very difficult not to compare sometimes your ‘regular’ date after going out with a SD. I found that I was a bit annoyed when my IRL dates complained about having to pay for valet or gasped at the main course price or didn’t leave a tip. I may be viewed as a materialistic b*tch for having just openly admitting to that, but I found it quite difficult to not be bothered my some of those behaviors. I know it sounds like I was probably just dating the wrong guys (IRL), but they were successful men in their own rights, but I guess possessed a different mentality than what my SDs exposed me to. I’m not sure where the breakdown was, but maybe I just had exceptionally refined SDs in contrast. (???)

  265. Delyn *427264* formerly DC says:

    Good point NYGent. Just about all the men who are married who have contacted me express the same frustration with their wives. Is it an epidemic? Many also tell me their wives were never affectionate to begin with so I have to ask…why did you marry her then. I do know it’s never just one sided. Maybe the guy worked too much which explains his success but at a cost to his family.

    That said I don’t think that just because a man is cheating on his wife that he will cheat on his SB. If she is meeting his needs without drama then why give her up. Unless of course he is loving the kid in a candy store feeling and gets bored easily.

  266. MoonPatrol says:

    Good one with the Paul Simon . I remember that song when I was like 13, and it always had a mystical quality for me. You know I am hesitant to get into relationships because I fear the drama of breaking up. But your right a couple should be able to say bye and thats it, if your in a mutual arrangement. I had two lucky woman that broke clean in recent years (3) and it just was nice to break up proper. I Have also been broken up by lame vague text message and the disapear ing act as well and that is not cool.

  267. IRLSD says:

    I had date #2 with new SB today. I saw her first last night and we decided to start our twice a week arrangement today. Things are going well. Even though at first I told her I’d divide her monthly allowance into two two-week payments, I ended up giving her the whole month up front today. I told her that she needed the money now and that from experience no one takes money and runs (plus, even if they do run, they run out and come back pretty soon). Keeping fingers crossed.

    I think I will cancel my SA account altogether so it reduces the probability of my getting bored and getting myself tempted by what else is out there.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      IRLSD CONGRATS! Keeping fingers and toes crossed for you :)
      Yes my friend, cancel the account. It is like an addiction that must be stopped! Even the fleeting rationalization of I will just keep it to view blog’ers profiles is a fallicy. You will find yourself checking out New Members. I have seen it done by SD’s that have SB’s all the time. The proof is when you show up in their “viewed folder” and they have never blog’d a day in their life 😉

      NYGent… I love that song! I will be humming that diddy in my head for the rest of the night!

      • OCSugarbaby says:

        Nite Everyone, I need to pack for my quick golfing trip to Austin! I think I found a very Frou Frou French place to dine tomorrow! Yippee!

  268. NYGent says:

    OC: I think i remember that post (“If I am cheating on my wife what makes my SB think I would be faithful to her”). Makes some sense. But I can think of a reason: suppose the guy’s wife treats him like total garbage, has stopped communicating, loving, having any sex to speak of. Then an SB comes along who treats him wonderfully, like a king, and all the sex he wants. Does the fact that she knows he cheated on his unappreciateive wife mean that she should “expect” him to be unfaithful to her? I’m not sure that follows. But I will agree with this much: if he decides to end it, for whatever reason, good or bad, then that’s within the discretion of any SD or SB. Nobody really owes the other person an elaborate explanation or rationale for why they want to end it, just end it. There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, as Paul Simon said, but there are proably even more ways to leave your sugar. (“just hop on the bus, Gus, make a new plan, Stan, and set yourself free”)

  269. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Anna – yay! I’m TERRIBLE at trivia!!! Color me jealous!

    NYGent – Thanks!

  270. IRLSD says:

    What if a married SD offers, let’s say, 4K/month if the SB agrees to be exclusive and 2K/month if she wants to date around? Sounds fair. I’ve done this before and had SBs pick 4K and caught them red-handed setting up dates with other SDs.

    ElegantSugar, if Mr. Wonderful ever comes along, I surely hope the SB would leave me and run off with him; I might miss her, but she’d be replaced.

    OC has a strong point—sugar is very fleeting, so don’t be planning your whole life around an SD.

  271. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    There are many apporaches on SA and many successful stories to those approaches! How lucky are we to celebrate our differences and learn from each others’ experiences! Blog on!

    Taylor – He sounds like the right kid of SD…a gentleman, you enjoy his company, he doesn’t seem to have a history of travelling from on sb/gf to another…I would definitely explore this one further! You are spot on with what I’ve seen in Memiors movie. There was an auction for her virginity. However her virginity went to a doctor, who was not the one who ended up being her benefactor. Se did not have multiple partners. I like how sacred a touch or a glimps of skin was in their world. I know it’s unrealistic these days, but it’s fun to get lost in that world for a moment.

  272. NYGent says:

    AustinSD: Welcome. I feel the same way as you, but acknowledge that there are a variety of approaches here and no one right one.

  273. NYGent says:

    anna molly: congrats, what was your winning Q and A?

    I’ve been too verbose tonite, somebody earlier today (yesterday?) aptly said “brevity is divine.” They intuited a combo of two of the greatest lines in the language:

    “Brevity is the soul of wit” (shakespeare, hamlet) and

    “To err is human, to forgive, divine” (Pope, Essay on Criticism)

  274. ElegantSugar says:

    Good night, ESB!

    Taylor: That may the best pot SD date you have shared with us on the blog thus far! It doesn’t have to be fireworks and butterflies on the first date.Though, admittedly, that might be my current quest, not sure. Glad you had a great time!

    Anna Molly: Congrats on winning the free pizza!

  275. AustinSD says:

    As far as multiple SD/SB thing, I am an exclusive kind of guy. I can never be intimate with someone knowing that they are intimate with another. One of the reasons I didn’t start my search here is that I am hoping to find an SB that can morph into something more and that doesn’t seem likely on SA. Guess I’m just an old-fashioned kind of guy.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      AustinSD it can and DOES happen on SA! I met my BF/SD on here and we morph’d to a regular relationship that is FABULOUS!
      However I was answering Taylor’s question regarding does anyone or has anyone had more than one Sugar.

  276. Taylor says:

    You guys are right. SHoulda ditched one of the accessories. *smacking forehead*

    I read Memoirs, didn’t see the movie. The geisha *did* sleep with her one benefactor who truly invested in her, but just one per….. lifetime? if I remember correctly? Usually she was a virgin or considered one before the house the geisha worked in would auction her off. She would have had months or years to cultivate years with the various men who could have afforded to ‘win’ in these auctions, and the geisha would hope against hope that the one she had the highest affection for would come through for her and win. And get her virginity and her exclusive sexual favors, from then on. THe nightly practice of smiling and entertaining the prominent men at the tea houses were totally G rated things. Just kind of …advertising slots so when it came time, the men would be bidding high for a down payment + allowance schema for the girl. Commissions made for the house who supports her in the meantime. If I remember correctly.

  277. NYGent says:

    ESB: you make a good point. And while sugar dating is NSA, human nature being what it is i think it’s inevitable that when either an SB or SD is discovered to have been concealing something about other SBs/SDs(even if they never affirmatively lie about it), the other person is going to have feelings of betrayal, whether or not justified. If you read these blogs, people get very angry, even bitter at times, at their treatment by pots who they’ve never even met, or at most had one date with. In many cases the pot’s behavior is poor and anger toward them is understandable and justified. But if people get so worked up over slights, real and imagined, by people they’ve barely (or maybe never even) met, is it that hard to understand why SDs or SBs who’ve been in an arrangement for a while would feel hurt and abused by the other person who concealed from them, notwithstanding that it’s technically caveat emptor/NSA?

    Of course, context is all. If one has an arrangement with someone else where you’re meeting only once a month, then it has to be reasonably understood that you can’t be expected to sit around the other 29 or 30 days of the month doing nothing, sugar or IRL dating-wise.

  278. Anna Molly says:

    Welcome to all the new bloggers :)

    Hi everybody! Won a free pizza tonight and I’m so good at trivia that the guy who asks the questions asked me to help him find some new ones…LOL. He hasn’t told me how much the job pays, but I’m thinking I’ll be getting paid with t-shirts and beer buckets..LOL :)

  279. Taylor says:

    So about the date with BossMan, which is what I’m going to call this potential sugar daddy. He’s definitely the head of a company, although I’m not sure what–we really didn’t talk about his career. But from between the lines, in passing comments, I could tell.

    Anyway, middle aged, not in great shape, at first glance I was like, “Oh hells no…..” but then I had an open enough mind to hang out with him for drinks and conversation, as per agreed and…..he grew on me! He’s a good person. Intelligent, and good for great conversation. Not just gawking at me while I’m being charming and funny. I liked him. Calm, good natured, warm heart. We ended up spending six hours together. Drinking champagne until my head was light at the hotel bar we started at, and then to my favorite karaoke joint so I could show off my chops, and then to a restaurant that serves full dinners even until very late. Then he drove me home. It was great. He’s going through a divorce, breaking up with his long time girlfriend of four years as well, and lonely as hell. He asked if maybe he could visit me and he could cook me dinner at my place sometime in the next week or so, and is fully willing to contribute pre-discussed budget needs, in exchange for a schedule of hanging out every week or two. I really think I’d enjoy my time with him. I’m considering…

  280. ESB says:

    I gotta go. gotta pick up my kids from their track meet. This one was in DC, so they are getting home late… and tomorrow is going to be an early day… sigh… night all, sugar dreams!! HUGS!!

  281. ESB says:

    As far as the mulitple SD/SBs goes, I guess it is up to the person… Liars are my biggest pet peeve, so I have a problem with that. If it is all out in the open, I feel that is fine!! As long as we are all happy! Just don’t agree with hiding the fact.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Honesty is key! But because I am a realist, one persons word means little. If I remember an old post from a SD it went like this…
      “If I am cheating on my wife what makes my SB think I would be faithful to her”
      (or something like that…)

      I would never hurt someone Midwest or bring a world of STD’s into it! Yikes!!!
      In my experience if someone asked me to be exclusive I would have to pass, it just brings drama into the arrangement. Far too restrictive. With that said, being careful for all involved is expected.
      Yes, when an SD gets too attached I tended to begin my search for someone else. I never went into an arrangement knowing how things would unfold. We all have high hopes in the beginning.
      Nothing wrong with having more than one sugar :)

  282. NYGent says:

    Midwest: well said, and Memoirs of a Geisha a very good movie adaptation of a great book. See it in Blue Ray for total effect.

    btw the “geisha” experience is, technically speaking, not necessarily physically intimate with her benefactor (or maybe that’s a myth perpetrated by Arthur Golden). But if true, that would distinguish it somewhat from SA, no?

  283. ElegantSugar says:

    Ha ha. So funny. I don’t think it matters too terribly much what we ladies say about offering our fashion advice. The man in the room right now said, “SCHWING!” and quite frankly, that’s all that matters in this Sugar World. Hilarious!

    Midwest: Loved your thoughts on multiple SD dating. I may have confused things with my past ramblings. I only ever have ONE SD at a time. Each one of those times, the SD encouraged I date IRL because they wanted me to have realistic things to look forward to outside the Sugar World and knew there wasn’t a REAL future ahead with our relationships.

  284. Chitown SB says:

    Taylor- I am jealous that you can pull that off! We are all standing by eagerly to hear how the date went, hopefully it was fabulous!

    If choosing one accessory, I would have chosen the necklace over the belt… but Im not the biggest fashionista, so I’m probably the wrong person to be adding my 2 cents

  285. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Taylor – very flattering outfit without the jacket! I agree that you could probably go with just one accessory. You have a great figure…perhaps the neckace continues to add length. Hope the date was wonderful!

  286. AustinSD says:

    Taylor – works for me – schwing!!!

  287. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    I think there are viable reasonso have more than one SD/SB. If you were to look at it from a business perspective, you wouldn’t manufacture widgets for just one customer because if they find an alternate company who makes the same widgets, you suddenly have no customers or source of income. Another viable option is to keep the search active even though they are content with current SD/SB. Therefore, if either (or both) feel like the arrangement has run it’s course, one isn’t waiting 3-6 months to meet someone new. This is where one has to decide if you want to be exclusive with your partner and include this as a part of your arrangement. The testimonies of OC, VA, and Elegant provide good arguments for having more than one.
    Then there are matters of a human nature…STDs , jealousy, control, double standards, falling in love, feeling unfulfilled, etc. Many of these don’t leave room for another lover/SD/SB. They chip away at what some would consider the integrity of the arrangement. I’ve always likened being an SB to Memiors of a Geisha…I’ve heard others say it to. The Geisha strives to meet on “dona”…a benefactor who agrees to support her only. In return, he earns her virtue and her loyalty.

    Bottom line – know what you want…know what you can handle…be honest and true to yourself…and keep your conscience clean.

    Off my soapbox :-) PS – Truly one of my favorite movies!

  288. ElegantSugar says:

    Taylor: I like the outfit without the jacket. HOT. Is the neckline a cowl neck? Next time, you need to remove the necklace or the belt. Do not wear both. Especially since the top is pin-stripe. The best fashion advice ever was Coco Chanel’s famous words, “Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off.” Can’t wait to hear about your date!

  289. Taylor says:

    I know I’m already *back* from my date, and I’ve already peeled off the clothes, but will ya’ll take a peek on my blog at the outfit with and without blazer and tell me what you think? Was it a good choice? Should I re-think things entirely for the next pot SD 1st meet?

    Off to go shower my makeup off then I’ll come back in ten m inutes and tell ya’ll how my date went. :)

  290. ElegantSugar says:

    I am curious as to why someone would deny they have more than one SD? If it is a matter of them choosing not to announce it on the blog for privacy reasons, I can respect that. But to flat out lie about it is baffling to me. Can someone enlighten me as to why this would be something a SB would deny?

  291. Chitown SB says:

    Midwest- hey maybe you’re right. A pot. SD I am exchanging emails with just relocated back to Michigan… maybe something in the water… but wait, I share that lake…hmmm

  292. ElegantSugar says:

    AustinSD – I was in Dallas not too long ago. Ever hear of Hotel ZaZa in Uptown Dallas? The roasted duck at Dragonfly MELTS in your mouth!!

  293. Chitown SB says:

    Austin SD- I don’t even eat meat and I can understand the wonder that is Gibson’s. They have pretty great seafood too. Also… welcome!

  294. AustinSD says:

    Elegant – for the best Italian this side of Sicily I highly recommend Merlo on Maple – it will blow your mind and is over the top romantic. The one downside of living in Austin is the lack of fine dining. I head to Dallas when I jonesing for five start cuisine.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Midwest I know you did not mean to judge but being honest is not exactly defined within the realm of Sugar dating. Having more than one SD is my honest confession to the blog. However in the past I would have never admitted it on here. Many do have more than one sugar but will never stand by my side in admitting it. But it is very common and by people like myself who have a golden heart!

  295. ElegantSugar says:

    Midwest… it is rumored that Flo is really me and I am really Flo. We almost or perhaps did attend the same Spy school at one time before I dropped out prior to Espionage 101. Then again, maybe someone was just saying Flo is ELEGANT and it had nothing to do with me at all. Or spy school, for that matter.

    Oooh, AustinSD… most food in Chicago is TO DIE FOR. One of my favorite cities to visit just for the food! And the green river on St. Patty’s. Oh, and Magnificent Mile.

  296. ESB says:

    AustinSD and ChiTown, welcome!! Always nice to have some fresh opinions on the blog!

  297. ESB says:

    Thank you Elegant.

    Sex once a month would be ok if it was AWESOME, can you imaging the anticiaption of waiting for it? Talk about explosive encounters. WOW!! But, I’d like to see the guy more often than that.

    Taylor: How can you compair SDs to Friends?I have TONS of friends, but am not having sex with any of them! OK, that would just be weird. I am the one guy at a time kinda girl. Want to give my all to just one. If he can’t give me the allowance I need, I’ll wait til I find one that can. I don’t want to play that game, and I think if you are, you should be honest and upfront about it. I under stand about the sugar being temporary, and SDs could flake and poof, but that is the risk involved in ANY relationship. I just think if you are going to have more than one, tell them about it. I’ve been dating for about a year now, and have had more than my share of guys who were seeing others the same time as me. If they would have told me, I would still be friends with them, but feeling I was lied to just Pd me off, and they are so out of my life. Honesty is always the best policy! IMHO 😉

  298. CA Dreamin SB says:

    ESB – Congrats on the job!

  299. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    ESB – No jinxing here!

    Sounds like I have some catching up to do…what’s going on with Flo Rida and Elegant??

  300. AustinSD says:

    Thanks for the warm welcome to all!

    OCSugarbaby – I’d say the best steak is at Sullivans 300 Colorado Street
    Austin, TX 78701 – but I’m originally from Chicago and I still fly home just to get a Gibson’s ribeye.

  301. ElegantSugar says:

    Here’s to the OCD bomb shell!! Happy filing and congrats!

  302. ElegantSugar says:

    Coke (as in ‘caine), water and lettuce wraps are a model’s buffet. Never was my cup ‘o tea though.

    Did someone say sex ONCE a month?


    I just fell out of my chair.

  303. ESB says:

    LOL… Elegant.. leave Flo alone!!

    Hey Everyone!! How was Monday for the sugar world!! Ihad crappy work day, but talked to a pot a few times today, so things are loooking up… also may have a new job… or old job, depending on how you look at it!! Place I used to work is looking for someone to do the job I used to do. The job was eliminated when I left, due to cut backs. Now they have decided that they need someone to catch the “archives” up, get the filling system back in shape, adn who better than the OCD bomb shell that used to do it? Everyone there is excited about me coming back, and I was just told about it!! Seems when they mentioned opening the position back up, I was mentioned, and since my room mate knows I need a job, AND still works there… I’m so in!! WHOOTT!! YES, good thoughts bring about good and happy actions. Lets all raise a toast!! WAIT!! NIX that, you’ll jinx me…. save if for my first pay check!! LOL

  304. ElegantSugar says:

    …did someone say the magic word, Choos???

    Oh, must run. Duct tape doesn’t work the way it used to…

  305. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    OC – I totally get it and I am definitely not passing judgement. I wouldn’t settle for sex once a month either. I do think I would be upfront with both SDs about my concerns though.

  306. Flo Rida says:

    Oh last word – E and coke are still used by models and V – if we’re talking about SD of 50s plus i’m thinking they need V. SD is 43 and he’s fine but his friends are beginning to use it, stress can cause or recreational usage (try not sleeping, drinking, stress, long plane rides).

    ciao everyone

  307. Flo Rida says:

    i’m being held hostage by Elegant – help – help!

    So million dollar bonuses (for some) are back in Wall Street with high yield market back but private equity is still tough and so is corporate lending (in general).

    Maybe a reason for lack of sugar liquidity is due to SD’s concerned about job security and hence flaking!

    Also someone mentioned first date with pot – I blogged on how this was different from normal dating in one or two previous blogs.

    Elegant is closing the tunnel again – free Flo Rida!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Flo just promise Elegant some sparkly new Jimmy Choos :) She will forget the death grip on you and run toward the sparkly heels 😉

  308. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Evening sugars!

    Welcome Chitown SB and AustinSD!

    Chitown – We have something in common…SDs in Michigan! Perhaps Michigan is the next SD mecca next to NY and Chicago.

    Multiple SDs – I couldn’t do it unless I was absolutely straightforward and honest with everyone. I can see where in OC’s case it worked out nicely. Personally, if I had to maintain multiple intimate relationships at once, it wouldn’t agree with me.

    Allowance- it really is an advantage to discuss everything up front. NYC SB has always mentioned outlining all your expenses and needs to share what you need. Have some goals in mind and show respect for what he is offering. Same goes if you seek gifts or travel. Most men who know what this is about will be open to a variety of suggestions.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Midwest…imagine having sex just once a month. When you only see your SD that often!
      Hence the second one coming into the picture…

  309. ElegantSugar says:

    That’s funny, NY Gent However, visiting this blog could lead one to believe a contract of such nature would be, not only acceptable, but desirable.

    I think not.

  310. NYGent says:

    OC: maybe i could draw up some sample form contracts for people to use. They could have alterntive clauses (“exclusivity” provision, “waiver of exclusivity,” etc., a blank for $$ ___ and # of meetings per month, minimum gift levels, approved travel spots, STD testing clauses, “No McDonalds” riders, etc.

    Actually I think not.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      NYGent Ha-ha, maybe not :)
      I have read many post where the SB is or has more than one SD and it works well for them. I think it is a personal choice.
      My experience did not have to do with the financial aspect. I am a single girl and just happen to have two wonderful men in my life. The second one happened by chance. He found me and was very local to where I lived. My logging in to my SA account was the downfall of my answering his email asking me to dinner. I think I accepted SD #2’s date because he was persistent and quite charming. Needless to say I went to dinner not expecting to add him to my dating life but more out of curiosity of what else was out there. He was a very busy SD and our dates would only be a few times a month. I saw my other SD just once a month so that still left a great deal of free time! The $ugar was great but I have a career and it was just a very thick layer of icing. I have saved and put away for a rainy day and have spent small amounts on items like vacations with my girlfriends.
      For the most part…Sugar is Fleeting. Enjoy, save and be kind.

      • OCSugarbaby says:

        I am so BAD, I must have Sugar A-D-D… Or just dating A-D-D…
        Is there a retirement home for $ugar Babies?

  311. ElegantSugar says:

    Welcome, AustinSD!

    In terms of exclusivity, I agree that if the SD is married, it is unfair for him to request exclusivity from the SB. I have ran into this on numerous occasions where the pot SD has requested I don’t even date outside of our arrangement. I have passed on those pots because although I am at a point in life where (real) dating isn’t on my agenda, I don’t want to have to say no if Mr. Wonderful comes along. My other SDs were married and encouraged I date in the real world. As far as having multiple SDs, it isn’t my preference. I haven’t crossed that bridge yet as my SDs have always provided plenty for me financially and juggling careers and Sugar dating is hard enough as it is.

  312. Chitown SB says:

    CA Dreamin SB: Thank you for the advice. I guess being straightforward and to the point is best. He has had arrangements in the past, though I don’t know the details. We are supposed to cam tonight and start planning our next meeting…

  313. NYGent says:

    OC: I agree. if there was no discussion about exclusivity, and a “don’t ask don’t tell” policy adopted, then by definition there was no deal on the point, and nobody can complain that the other person is violating terms of the original deal. It still could cause one party, rightly or wrongly, to feel betrayed enough to end it, so it’s a personal decision whether, in absence of any discusssion up front, one party wants to obtain clarity and “consent” to non-exclusivity to avoid the other getting mad later.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      NYGent you are such a party pooper with the talk of terms and deal and one party vs the other party… LOL
      But you do have a good point 😉

      However it is NSA so no one should ever feel betrayed.

  314. AustinSD says:

    I have been lurking here for about a week and thought I’d finally say hello. I first heard about SA several months ago but at the time I was in a happily committed relationship, or so I thought. Turned out that she was working on her exit strategy and had test drove a few candidates. Bad for her that I found out, especially as I funded her lifestyle.

    Well I extricated myself from that mess and got to thinking about dating again and got a whopper of a headache. Then I recalled SA and started researching. So last week I took the plunge and signed up on a different site as sort of a trial run before I hit the big time.

    I have my first SB meet for coffee tomorrow morning. And then a couple more this week. I have found a couple that look like real contenders. Oh and I should explain that I am not looking for an escort-type of arrangement. Friendship and shared interests are very important to me. Turns out in Austin there are lots of UT undergrads working these sites but they really don’t interest me. I’m 44 and actually find myself looking at older women. My pot SB tomorrow is 49.

    Well that is enough for now. I’ll try to update occasionally but I’d also offer if you need input from another SD I’ll be happy to oblige. I’ll also let you know when I go live on SA.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      AustinSD welcome, it is always lovely to hear a positive outcome to the story!
      I will be in Austin tomorrow. Quick trip just one night. Can you suggest a great place for dinner. I have turned to my iPhone UrbanSpoon app and it works best if you know the area! What is your best Steak place?

  315. NYGent says:

    On the multiple SD issue, I think it’s a question of what was agreed to up front. If an SB tells an SD that she may be having one or more additional SDs and he’s fine with it, then nothing wrong it. He may even feel relieved not to be looked at a sole source provider, less pressure on him. On the other hand if SD said he’s looking for an exclusive, and SB agrees to accept the $$ with that understanding then secretly picks up another SD (or 2 or 3), then she runs the risk that if he finds out she will get dropped very quickly. Maybe she doesn’t care and is willing to run that risk, although it’s not very honest IMO to commit to exclusivity then secretly break that promise. If, having promised exclusivity, SB wants to change the terms I would think it better to approach SD and ask whether he’s prepared to continue the arrangement with that modificatin. If he says yes, fine, if he says no then SB has the choice of continuing on an exclusive basis or ending the arrangement.

    btw most of these comments apply to the converse, also i.e., if SD says he will be exclusive then he should stick to it too and ask for consent from the SB, if she says yes, fine, if she says no then he can either continue the arrangement on exclusive basis or end it.

    Of course if SD or SB is married then by definition it’s not an “exclusive” arrangement. I realize some married SDs will still ask for exclusivity from their single SB (a married SB could ask for exclusivity from her single SD, too, I just haven’t heard that scenario discused here before). Prior blogs have discussed whether this is fair or not. Whether or not fair, the SB/SD can choose to accept those terms or not. If she/he accepts them then she/he ought not break the deal on the sly while continuing to accept mutual benefits.

    Guess what i’m saying is all comes down to honesty and clarity of the deal. If people don’t like the original deal they can end it, but don’t secretly breach it and continue to take the original benes from the other party.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      My personal experience was one that exclusivity was not talked about. I may be going out on a limb here all by my lonesome but I am sure there are many others that have done the “don’t ask and don’t tell” scenario.
      It is sugar dating not marriage. If you use your head and sincerely care about the men in your life and treat them well, why would it matter was my thought.

  316. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Welcome Chitown!

    I would say, as far as the allowance discussion goes, as soon as you know there is mutual attraction and you both want to pursue an arrangement, I’d ask him how his arrangements have worked in the past, and what kind of arrangement he sees for the two of you. If he asks what kind of allowance you want, just tell him. No, I don’t have an SD (yet), but, I have met with potentials and asked these questions and discovered we are not on the same page. I’m not willing to negotiate, so, on to the next pot :)

  317. Chitown SB says:

    ElegantSugar: Thank you for the warm welcome. I was wondering if anyone might have advice on how to handle the initial “financial allowance” discussion. Is a second meeting the appropriate time to discuss this? The SD I met with last week and I seemed to hit it off, though I learned that it would behoove me to stay a bit more sober and not keep drinking the champagne just cuz I’m nervous. We are planning to meet up again in a week or two, it just depends on when he can make it back to Chicago (he lives in Michigan).

    Any tips on my profile would also be appreciated.


    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Taylor to answer your question about having more than one SD. My personal answer is YES! I have done it and found it to be a perfect fit with my lifestyle. I didn’t have a great deal of free time to sugar date and I had one SD that was more of a gift daddy and one who gave me a generous allowance. I ADORED them both. But I did have my secret favorite. Sugar comes and goes. Most SB’s don’t admit the fact they have more than one. I personally have no problem telling you my story. I found that with having more than one, it was an easier transition when one went south (or ended).
      Men have more than one SB all the time, albiet not ALL SD’s.
      Your choice to let them know or not know is a personal one. Just use your head and make good decisions.

  318. ElegantSugar says:

    Chitown SB: Welcome to the blog! Sure hope you stay around and add some Chitown flavor to our Sugar Bowl! Keep us posted on how things go with the pot SD you met with last week.

  319. Chitown SB says:

    Hello Sugar Bowl! I joined the site about a month ago, and have read a few of the blogs. I just wanted to say thank you for all the wonderful stories and advice you have shared. They are usually very helpful and also entertaining :)

    Any advice for newcomer SBs is appreciated… I have received a number of messages from pot. SDs… some nice, others vague, and others kind of insulting… the whole “I’m in a lame marriage and want to pay per visit” kind of thing… um… no?
    Met with one pot. SD last week… I think it went well, we plan on meeting again, so we shall see I suppose

  320. cleo says:

    taylor i always search my name even if i don’t read the blog in it’s entirety… that said, i changed all my photos and attention disappeared so i certainly have to do SOMEthing!

  321. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Lunch anyone? :)

  322. Taylor says:

    jumping in cab…. which he offered to wait on the curb so he could pay for when I got there…. aww

  323. ElegantSugar says:

    Awesome, Taylor! With as much as you love to write, not a bad idea at all! It can be quite therapeutic too. I just subscribed to your blog and will add you to my blog roll.

  324. Taylor says:

    BTW, both you two vixens (NYC SB and Elegant) have inspired me to follow in your gorgeous footsteps and start my own blog. :)
    You can find it by clicking on my name. No more nightclub singing…

  325. DC SB says:

    NYC – your SD is a doll.
    also sd4m is ridiculous.. but hey, maybe then the guys who prefer the escort-types will now head over there and away from SA. joy!

  326. ElegantSugar says:

    NYC SB: As you will see from my blog, SA is the only site I use and will recommend. I have not signed up for any of the others, but I checked them out and asked around and the feedback has been negative for all other SD types of sites.

  327. NYC SB says:

    Elegant – 😀 he is being super adorable … keeping fingers crossed he makes a date for Valentines day

    Taylor – tall blonde men are super sexy… love the surfer look

    on an unrelated note SD4M has a web cam section now… in addition to them implementing a calendar where you specify your availability… this site is slowly turning into an escort site

  328. ElegantSugar says:

    I love your SD, NYC SB!! How cute and creative. Those types of gestures easily win my heart over and over again.

    VA SB Thanks for the feedback on my V-DAY dilemma! I will keep you all posted. Oh, and I am actually communicating with a pot SD now that hasn’t shared a photo at all. I’m a bit intrigued…

    Taylor: Have fun! I am sure you are looking super smokin’! I love tall guys too!

  329. NYC SB says:

    :) VA yeah… that is just super cute… we talked about doing this so I told him about the place I go to most wednesdays and he remembered… totally made my day with a $5 purchase

  330. Anna Molly says:

    NYC SB ~ That is so sweet and romantic :)

  331. IRLSD says:

    Taylor, I think form-fitting is fine. The SB last night had form-fitting clothes and she looked great and not the least bit inappropriate. But I’ve had situations where SBs dressed like Pretty Woman before the make-over. If anyone saw us, it would have looked for sure like I was with a prostitute. I know that shorts that reveal the buttock may be stylish for a 21 year old, but not when she’s having a nice dinner with an older professional man.

    As for multiple SB/SD dating, one issue for me is STDs. If I am sleeping with three SBs (I’ve never slept with more than one at a time) and each is sleeping with 3 SDs who each have 3 SBs and so on and so forth, then I am pretty much sleeping with the whole city. The STD thing is a big issue particularly when married. How would I explain it if my wife got something? I ended up getting my first Guardasil shot last week. Two more to go and at least I won’t worry about genital warts, cervical dysplasia (in my partners, not me), and penile cancer.

  332. VA SB says:

    NYC SB – that’s really cute and a very creative reminder!

  333. Taylor says:

    Leaving in fifteen minutes…. any last minute advice? He has such a great voice on the phone and he is 6’2″. God I love tall blondes.

  334. VA SB says:

    Hi Everyone!

    Well, I don’t really have anything to say today – other than HI!!! – but I was reading over the blog and just getting caught up on everything.

    Elegant – definitely agree that you should go with the best plans for Valentine’s Day. That would be my humble opinion and I hope whatever you decide, that you have a WONDERFUL time….

    On a first meeting, I definitely would treat it like a first date (with no test drives). If after that meeting, I am still interested, then I’ll make sure he knows that I would like to see him again.

    Also, something one of my Blog (now IRL) friends suggested and I think it’s a great idea – is to not ask for a picture of the SD…..I mean do looks really matter in the sugar world? Well, for an SD seeking an SB – absoutely. For the SB seeking the SD – probably not so much. I think this is a great tip and I know that I’ll be adopting this approach from now on.

    Okay, back to work now (Ugh!!!)….Ciao!

  335. NYC SB says:

    awww I just received a bag of chips and salsa from SD with the note “Wednesday 7pm?” hahaha we are going SALSA Dancing!

  336. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Elegant! I thought I was all by my lonesome :)

  337. ElegantSugar says:

    Hi, Anna Molly! I am still here. I am finishing an article in another screen so just checking in occasionally. :)

  338. Anna Molly says:

    Where did everyone go? Hello? Heeeelllllooooo! :)

  339. Anna Molly says:

    Taylor ~ I have always been the type of person who keeps a small group of very close friends and I never dated more than one person at a time up until now. For me it boils down to not having enough time and energy for more than one SD. I want to make sure that the time we spend together is special and I don’t think that if I had more than one I could give my SD the quality time he needs and deserves.

    I don’t see anything wrong with having more than one SD. If that is what you want, go for it! :)

  340. NC Gent says:

    Hi SoCal — hope I didn’t insult you about the free test drive comment :)

    Ask him what he does for enjoyment, how he got where he is in life, if he has ever been a sugar daddy, what is he seeking from an arrangement. I would say it is a first date/interview combined. Be prepared for the question of what allowance you are seeking and how you arrived at that number. I think it is best to give a range so that there is some wiggle room. I wouldn’t bring up the allowance question until near the end of dinner if/when you think you have chemistry. Good luck and we want an update.

  341. ElegantSugar says:

    So Cal…always like a first date…NEVER like a job interview. A SD may want a smart, organized girl, but will more than likely want to spend time with you again because you were relaxed and had fun. Job interviews can be so STIFF. Just my 2 Sugar Cents.

  342. ElegantSugar says:

    Thanks, NYC SB! Still working on it. I have already added Goal Digger to my blog roll!

  343. So Cal Blondie says:

    Thanks NYC Gent! Great advice.

    I wouldnt even consider a “free test drive” or even going to a pot’s house until aftera few dates!

    What do we talk about? Do I talk about what type of arrangement I am looking for? I dont want their to be any akward moments. Do I treat dinner like a first date or like a job interview?

  344. NYC SB says:

    Elegant – Sweet blog! I will add you to my blog roll 😀

  345. NC Gent says:

    Hi So Cal Blondie — congrats! dress appropriately for the restaurant, ask questions that show your interested, no free test drives, and tell him you are interested afterwards if you really are. Other than that, have fun and enjoy the sugar :)

  346. ElegantSugar says:

    So Cal Blondie: Can you be more specific as to what types of questions you have? What to wear? What to talk about? How far to go? Ask away! A lot of experienced voices on here!

  347. ElegantSugar says:

    Ok, great. In that case, YES, the Mary Janes with velvet accent would look dynamite. For a first date, I always select something just sexy enough, but not too revealing and I do have a bit of an hourglass shape. But being tall (almost 5’10”), I’m not classified as curvy since my height balances out the curves. I do have to be careful though in the cleavage area. I like to bring out the sex kitten look eventually, but not on a first date. Leave them wondering…and wanting more…

  348. So Cal Blondie says:

    Hi SA Bloggers,
    I’m going on a dinner date with my first Pot SD tonight! I was hoping for some advice before I go. I’m not too worried about it since it is just dinner but it is my first experience so any advice would be great!

    We started talking on a mutual site about a week ago and have exchanged emails since. We want the same things out of the relationship and everything seems to line up. He lives about an hour and a half from me so I think we are going to meet somewhere between us. We haven’t finalized the dinner plans yet. He is totally polite, respectful and handsome. He didn’t have a picture posted but he emailed me one. I was already starting to think he was great based on his emails. I was hoping that he was handsome and when I got his picture was pleasantly surprised. I actually said “oh thank god!” out loud haha. I know you fellow bloggers have a lot of insider information so any pointers would be great.

  349. Taylor says:

    Not jeans! No no no ! They are black pants. A matte stretch cotton that looks very nice, but very form fitting to accentuate my hips/legs shape without shouting about it, because of the ink black color. I think the shoes look amazing with them, but definitely wouldn’t with jeans…. no, this is a black&white outfit only, no denim!

  350. DC SB says:

    Taylor, I have the exact same figure as you – height, weight, bust etc. I’ve been dressing more conservatively than provactively. We can play up our figure and luckily, we can actually wear outfits that girls w/ DD’s and JLo booties can’t (without looking like they’re trying to find a Baby Daddy!). So, I typically wear a turtle neck sweater dress, one that’s tight- but long, and either short or 3/4 length sleeves – a darker or more muted color; and if it hits the knee I spice it up with lace/patterned tights with heeled boots. I’ve also gone in high-waisted skirts (that are not tight, but sleek) with a form fitting top. But in this weather, you can’t go wrong with a sweater dress. It’s conservative but shows off what little curves we have very well :)

  351. ElegantSugar says:

    Taylor: Your entire outfit sounds just sexy enough to show your RAWR “look at me” side without being slutty. Especially with the jacket over the halter top. White is elegant and sexy all at the same time. I’m not so sure about the Mary Janes with skinny jeans though…

  352. DC SB says:

    Elegant, honestly, honesty is the better policy (than modesty) 😀 I would hold out for that right arrangement because when it comes along, it’ll blow all of the competition out of the water. Pow!

  353. Taylor says:

    I’ve heard an SB say to dress like you’re going to a job interview when you meet a pot for the first time. And IRLSD has said to dress like Pretty Woman *after* the makeover, not before. So is more conservative better than less conservative? To what fault? I don’t want to ‘hide my light under a bushel’ so to speak. THose of you Jessica Rabbit types can wear something pretty conservative and your curves shout loudly from underneath even a business suit. My figure…. not so much. at 5’7″ and 116 pounds, I have that super-slim and fit looking thing going on. The only way I can show off my form is to wear something form fitted, and in heels to exaggerate my long-ish-on-their-own legs. I have no awesome tits to thrust out at the world, no hourglass curves, just a twiggy thing going on. I was thinking… black slick stretch cotton sateen pencil leg trousers that are skinny leg all the way down to the ankle, then with a little slit and revealing my Tod’s black patent mary janes which are 3-4″ with velvet accents. I have a stretchy FCUK white halter top that ties behind my neck, with thin little black horizonta stripes. A skinny black belt with wide rectangular silver hardware to draw more attention to my fit waistline. Then perhaps a little shrug or blazer on top, meant to be taken off if the room is warm enough. Plus of course all my crazy amounts of outerwear.

    Does it sound like too much for meeting at a glam bar, for cocktails? Should I replace the top with something that doesn’t show my arms/shoulders/upperback/decollete so much? Like I said, the only way to shine brightly is to have fitted clothes, or my figure gets lost in the looseness of suit-type outfits….

  354. ElegantSugar says:

    NC Gent: I am currently not in an arrangement at all. I just ended one in December (for various reasons) and have been actively pursuing a new one since. I have only been going on pot SD dates for now.

  355. ElegantSugar says:

    Thanks, DC! Yes, I am very honest with all of my pots – letting them know just enough; that I’m searching for that JUST RIGHT arrangement. So far, my honesty has only made one pot walk away saying he couldn’t wait for an answer, but did tell me to call him if something doesn’t work out.

  356. Elegant — it is relatively short notice so I would hope neither would be offended if you turned down the offer. You could always have to work or have already had plans to attend some event in your city, etc.

  357. NC Gent says:

    Elegant — it appears you don’t have exclusive arrangements with any of these SDs. I am not sure what type of arrangements you have with them, but if you choose one over the other, I would make up a very good excuse to the other. I guess classic example of the ills of trying to juggle more than one SD.

  358. ElegantSugar says:

    By the way, Sugars…it’s still a work in progress, but I am launching a new web site (blog-type) called Sugar and the City. Check it out when you have a moment.

  359. DC SB says:

    Elegant, do your pots know about one another? If so, then it might seem like you saying no, means the other won you for that day.
    If they don’t then hey, say you’re busy or have a business conference, or scheduling conflicts- if they kick you to the curb for that then they’re ridiculous.

  360. DC SB says:

    Elegant, Maybe ask them to send an itinerary? And pick between the two?

  361. ElegantSugar says:

    Ok, well as a SD, would you kick a pot SB to the curb if she turned down your wonderful invitation to fly her to your city for V-Day? (High-end hotel, dinner reservations, spa packages, etc…)

  362. NC Gent says:

    I recommend the always reliable coin toss in that case — or you can go old school and trust your instincts :)

  363. ElegantSugar says:

    I wish it were that easy, NC Gent. They are both out of state and want me to fly to their city. I’m not really smitten with one over the other. They both bring great things to the table and they also both have shortcomings that may not be in line with what fits for me as far as a SB/SD relationship. SO…I STILL might be SD shopping for a bit. I’ve had successful and wonderful arrangements so I’m not one to settle, but I don’t want to make the wrong decision too soon and let a wonderful pot slip away. Hmmm….

  364. NC Gent says:

    Elegant — have lunch with one, and dinner with the other :)

  365. Taylor says:

    So, Anna Molly, would you use the same reasoning with your close friends? Do you only keep one in your life at a time, to keep yourself available 100% for her/him? If not, what’s the difference between a sugar daddy and a close friend? Is it feelings of romantic infatuation, or even love that makes it different, that you only want to have one man in your life? Or does it boil down to your schedule not being able to support spending quality time with more than one SD? Or is it your husband that draws the line at multiple SDs and makes that option ‘off the table?’

    Not trying to be snarky, just genuinely very curious how other people’s brains work when it comes to sugar and monogomy or it being the exclusive extra-marital-affair or whatnot…..

  366. ElegantSugar says:

    Hey, for those SBs with more than one SD: How are you deciding which one to spend Valentine’s Day with? I currently have 3 pot SDs and 2 have asked me to spend Valentine’s Day with them. So undecided…

  367. NC Gent says:

    I am a transplant so I am actually a Big Ten guy — been down South over 20 years and I love it. I route for all the local ACC teams and don’t have a favorite :)

  368. ElegantSugar says:

    I’ve gone fishing in OBX and watched many firework shows over the water. Beautiful and peaceful place for sure. Oh, and just so you know, I’m anti-Dookie Dook. Hope we can still be friends. GO HEELs!!

  369. NC Gent says:

    You are sweet, Elegant. I love the Outer Banks. I go there for a 3-day weekend fishing trip every fall. It is spectacular!

  370. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Thanks Elegant – whenever I get motivated to get out I’ll get some :)

  371. ElegantSugar says:

    CA Dreamin: Try B-12! (If you aren’t already using it.) You can buy it at the pharmacy over the counter (I suggest sublingual drops). or you can go to a walk-in clinic and get an injection. So worth it! Get better, hon!

  372. ElegantSugar says:

    NYC SB: Another favorite breakfast/brunch spot for me (when staying at Gramcery Park Hotel) is “Friend of a Farmer” on Irving. Service has been slow at times, but the food and French press coffee…to DIE for.

    Cali SB: That might be one food I would never throw out even if expired!! I tried the caramel – not so great. The choc berries – YUM. Lemon is still the favorite though.

    NC Gent: I’ve noticed with men from NC (esp Outer Banks area), the Southern charm generally frosts over inappropriate words and comes out sounding gentlemanly anyway.

  373. Taylor says:

    Is Cleo here? I can’t stop thinking about her and her blog and her sugar nightmare. I really think I have a few ideas that could help her profile work better for her.

  374. Elegant — too funny! I actually have about 3 packs (combined flavors) in my fridge and they’re all past the sell by date or enjoy by date (can’t remember which it is), but I’m still going to eat all of them! :) Actually, I think I’ll eat 1 or 2 now!

  375. NYC SB says:

    Elegant – that is what SD and I ordered… turns out it is the go to breakfast for both of us 😀 they were to die for

  376. NC Gent- says:

    Hi CA Dreamin SB — no I got in ok — I grew up in this stuff and the roads are starting to clear — longest I ever remember the snow sticking though!

  377. IRLSD says:

    Thank you Cali SB. I hope it lasts too. I’ll do my best–can’t do better than your best I suppose. And I did talk to her about discreteness a bit because I don’t want to get caught again and she totally agreed. She doesn’t want to get caught either because she doesn’t want her family to know.

    I talked about this a few days ago on the blog, but it is true. Society expects men with money to be naughty but looks down on the sugar baby. I don’t think it’s fair, but it’s the double-standard we deal with.

  378. NC Gent- says:

    ahhh I have discovered the bad word I said!!!

    Taylor — I don’t think it is bad if you have more than one SD, but I do think you should let the others know that – other’s opinions may vary on this as you have seen — it is NSA so I don’t see a problem personally.

  379. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Hey NC – you stuck at home from all the snow?

  380. NC Gent- says:

    A couple of my posts wont post — I think I said a bad word lol

    but it was about “everything in m-o-d-e-r-a-t-i-o-n” pretty harmless I think! I am sure after they review it, it will be fine

  381. Taylor says:

    I’m here. 3 hours until pot SD meet-up. Deciding how to dress. Hmm….

  382. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Then again, every day is a good blog day

  383. CA Dreamin SB says:

    No idea…hopefully not – just tired and lethargic today. Good blog day :)

  384. ElegantSugar says:

    Oh no, CA Dreamin. Sorry to hear that. Flu?

  385. CA Dreamin SB says:

    I’m here Elegant – a bit under the weather this morning

  386. ElegantSugar says:


    Just seeing if anyone is still here. Sometimes an unexpected, unrelated outburst is necessary.

  387. ElegantSugar says:

    NYC SB: Sounds like an absolutely lovely time!!Good for you, Sweetie! Oh, I am now craving the Huevos Rancheros from the Cookshop!!! Darn it…

  388. ElegantSugar says:

    Morning, CA Dreamin’!! Morning, Beach_Girl….and all others!!!

  389. NYC SB says:

    Ok weekend recap

    Saturday we met up at his place and then took a cab to dinner… well the restaurant where we went didnt take reservations and had an hour wait so we went to another place where we grabbed a seat at the bar and ordered all the appetizers and wine… after this we went to a club/lounge/bar for his friends going away party… I met his best friend who was a bit tipsy and blurted “oh so you are the girl he cant stop talking about” … night full of shots and dancing and great fun…

    Sunday morning we woke up, had coffee caught up on some TV, and headed for brunch at the Cookshop… yummy yummy yummy … after brunch we took a relaxing stroll around the city… went back to his place and curled up to our kindles for the remainder of the day 😀

  390. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Morning sugars!

  391. ElegantSugar says:

    Cali SB: I had guests in and out all through the weekend and I am always the hostess with the mostest, “Mi casa, Su casa”. HOWEVER, after this weekend, I might have to place certain rules on food in my refrigerator. I woke up this morning CRAVING a lemon torte Yoplait and low and behold, I discovered my guests had eaten EVERY last one! I had to wait an hour for the grocery store to open to go buy more. I am well-stocked now. You have created a monster.

  392. ElegantSugar says:

    Taylor: Congrats on your business endeavors! Perhaps this new partnering and growth of your business answer your dilemma of choosing to have several SDs or not? It sounds like you are pondering the thought of more than 1 SD to meet a certain monthly financial goal? Sorry if I read wrong. I tried to read every detail, but you know, “War and Peace” is hard to just skim through. (Sarcasm. Giving you a hard time, of course.) If your business is taking off, you may not have time for several SDs especially the ones wanting you to travel. IF you do decide to go on any of those trips (NYC or Miami), please keep me informed as I am in both areas quite frequently.

  393. IRLSD — Congrats on finding a great SB! I hope it works out for you and lasts! :)

  394. ElegantSugar says:

    Hi, DC SB!! My humorous Bowling sidekick! I would LOVE to come out to the DC meet. I am trying to plan my month now – so many travel plans ahead. I have 2 trips for work and it looks like I will be making the LA meet and then also flying out of state to have date 3 with a pot SD so fitting in another trip might be impossible. BUT, I am forever the optimist, so we shall see. Would love to meet all of you in person!

  395. Beach_Girl says:

    kLAINY~ How you been girl? such a long time…
    There is a meet in LA on Feb 25

  396. DC SB says:

    Yea it’s all personal preference. I don’t like LTRs so.. I don’t want to find myself committed to one person–

  397. IRLSD says:

    Taylor, you sound like the female version of me juggling so many pots, lol. I have given thought to having multiple SBs and have actually had more than one SB at several points. A few times, I had a wife plus 3 SBs I was in arrangements with. But when that was the case, it was because I had not found the right person and it invariably did not last because there was no sense in me continue paying for someone I was not that excited about. Unless you are in it purely for the money, I don’t think you can have several lasting SDs. Sure you can string things out till you decide on things, but I would worry about the implications of having several SDs as alluded to by kLAINY.

    I personally realized that having multiple SBs meant that I was not happy with any of them, so a couple of weeks ago I let go of two of my three SBs at the time (just keeping webcam SB since I don’t see her in person and we’re more like friends). I took a week-long sugar break and finally met another pot last night and she seems great. She’s attractive, has the type of super-skinny habitus with just the right curves I like, has a beautiful smile, talks well, is fun to be with, is both in school and works part-time, has ambition, is not married, has no BF or kids to complicate things, does not smoke, is not on drugs, and does not party all the time. Plus, her schedule is flexible when I am available. And she is super-honest and very open about things in her life, including her financial situation, which makes it easier for me to help her. She was also insistent on having an exclusive sugar relationship, which is increasingly important to me. I am the first and only person from the site she has met (she’s my 20th from SA), but I guess she knew when we met that I was serious about this. I am seeing her again today so we can start our arrangement. My search is over for now.

  398. Anna Molly says:

    Hi James! 😉

  399. Anna Molly says:

    I personally don’t want more than one. I want to give 100% of myself to my SD not just a fraction :)

    That’s just my personal prefrence :)

  400. NC Gent — what kind of naughty things are you trying to post that you’re getting censored? 😉

  401. DC SB says:

    PS Elegant I love the bowling ball shirt idea. SO CUTE. Did you hear about our meet on the 20th here in DC? Do come. If you do I’ll buy everyone shirts with “Grab your Balls!” “we’re going bowling!” on the front. Haha. Party favors.

    & Taylor, I don’t think it’d be considered escort-ish to have more than 1 SD. Having 1 SD can be considered escort-like, I don’t see how have more than 1 makes any difference. For me, I typically never date 1 person at a time, I always date 2, 3 or 4 guys even.. (minus the sugar), I like being able to spend time with people and get to know everyone until I’m comfortable slapping a label/title down on a relationship. Plus I’m very young and definitely don’t think I need to be in LTRs back to back like a lot of my gfs are – I want to experience life and figure out what I’m looking for in a guy.
    Throw the sugar in? My dating style is exactly the same.
    You just have to know that it’s because it’s YOUR personality to do so, and that it’s not to add up to 10K per month by getting as many 3Ker SDs as possible, you know?
    I think that separates the two.

  402. ElegantSugar says:

    James: I have never heard of V or C being used recreationally; I think they are purely for medical reasons. But I don’t know everything…(contrary to popular belief. Ha ha!).

  403. Taylor says:

    By the way, I just found out that in addition to starting my own company on the side, ….I’ve been successfully recruited, and I’m being brought into that same industry as my firm, and will be working under some fabulous well-established gurus who will have so much to teach me, and this will overlap so beautifully with what I am doing independently! They even said they will happily refer me their overflow of business that they receive, and it just seems like a match made in heaven. But one of the two partners is insanely hot, just 1-2 years younger than me, and focusing on work when we are together will be challenging…

    *happy dance* I’ve been so frustrated with being unemployed….!!!

  404. James says:

    Good morning AM and everybody!

    I just wanted to chime in on E, sorry to be a downer. I’ve never tried it, but I had a young man working for me who wrote his senior thesis in biopharmacology about it. I don’t remember the details, but they’re now starting to find that people who used it early in their adult life are showing a permanently reduced ability to produce serotonin. Following up on Elegant’s point, the chemical causes a complete overload and depletion of the serotonin receptors, which can take days to recharge. After too much use and over time, it’s like a car battery that has gone dead too often, it loses the ability to recharge. This can lead to depression and often a need for antidepressant drugs. There was an impression among 80’s kids that e was harmless, but it’s becoming increasingly apparent that is not so. My own view is that any synthetic substance is likely to have some side effect, as opposed, let’s say, to more organic forms of intoxication.

    I’ve wondered about V and C — I can see why some men might need them in the first place, for medical reasons. But how/why do they help recreationally? Do they enhance performance or is it all psychological? Never understood that.

  405. ElegantSugar says:

    NYC SB: Glad you had an amazing weekend!! Someone is a smitten kitten, for sure! :)

    NC Gent: What do you mean you are being moderated?

  406. DC SB says:

    Oo.. on the topic of drugs. Really?
    Not my style. Don’t do them, never have – no desire to, don’t think they are cool or anything to brag about.

  407. Taylor says:

    kLainey, I understand what you are saying, and I would never want it to be kind of ‘transactional’ that I am actually using the guys for their financial contribution. I mean, if there isn’t mutual chemistry, then I just couldn’t ‘go there’ anyways, no matter the allowance, so it’s not like being a call girl for that reason alone. Add to it that with my I-have-a-dozen-very-close-friends-so-why-would-this-be-different question and I’d like an answer to that. If I am the kind of person who connects intensively with others, and does give them all of myself when we are together, and I maintain long term, loyal friendships (that ever get to that strong-connection-level) RELIGIOUSLY, when it comes to platonic connections (heck a few of my hot male friends I have slept with at one point in time, but the strong, dedicated friendship is the core of the connection, the sex, if it ever happened, just incidental), then why can’t I carry that over into having a few different SDs. Assuming that the relationship was very high quality on both ends when we get together those few times per month that they are able to….?

    Why does monogomous sugar equate to quality sugar, and as soon as you discuss having 2,3, or 4 sugar daddies, the analogy is immediately made between that and prostitution? I’m just saying…. I see it as having room in my life, room in my schedule, for more than one wealthy FWB who has the means to spoil me and make my life easier. Doesn’t mean I’m going to start taking ‘johns’ from craigslist and become a hooker, it just means that I don’t work 9-5, I’m sharp as a tack with a great memory, and more than that, I’m a people person. I have 250 friends in my city, none of whom feel that my friendship is flimsy and superficial or meaningless. 60 of those are truly close friends, and a dozen of THOSE are call-in-the-middle-of-the-night-just-to-talk-if-I-need-to types who would do anything for me. I’m extremely social and extroverted, and I have a big, open, genuine heart. I think I could indeed also juggle more than one sugar relationship without sacrificing sincerity or meaningfulness. I just don’t want to. But in order to meet the target I have in terms of allowance, I could easily hit that with 2 or 3 SDs rather than searching endlessly for that one FilthyRichDaddy who can swing my entire target allowance with no problem.

  408. DC SB says:

    My eyes are going to fall out from catching up.

    Good morning everyone!!!!!

    Taylor – At one point I had 3 SDs, then went down to 2. 2-3 is a good number to have. I just hit it off with a pot SD last night and I’m going to be a 1 SD lady it seems. :)
    But yes, in the past I’ve tended to favor more than 1 SD.

  409. NC Gent- says:

    Ok — I am being moderated – -have a great day everyone!

  410. NC Gent- says:

    Hi Elegant — everything in moderation :) I am not a druggie by any stretch but I have tried a lot of things once. I am not even much of a drinker.

    Taylor — I think having multiple SDs is ok, but I think it is best for you to let the SDs know that. I know all may not agree with that, but it avoids surprises and I still feel honesty is the best!

  411. ElegantSugar says:

    Hello Sugars – interesting topics this morning.

    Taylor: I haven’t gotten around to reading this morning’s novel by you, but you know I always enjoy responding to your thought-provoking questions. I will maybe find a minute to get to it soon.

    As far as E – never tried it and have zero desire to ever try it. Although the death rate related to E is very, very low, there are many other dangers related to using this drug. E (also known as MDMA) works by flooding your brain with serotonin (it essentially dumps all of it out at once). Repeated use causes the death of huge numbers of brain cells. If you look at the brains of heavy users, you can actually see holes large enough to stick your finger through. MDMA has been around a pretty long time. It has undergone numerous drug trials because it was created as a prescription drug, but I still have no desire to try it. I say that any drug that alters dopamine levels is dangerous in the long run if used enough. I don’t mind if other people choose to play around with it; just not for me.

    Also, I have been hearing more and more of the C word (Cialis) than the V Word. Whether any of my SDs have needed either one, it doesn’t matter to me. Just the same way I don’t need to know the production methods of Foie Gras, I still enjoy every ounce.

    This is Flo…I mean Elegant signing out…

  412. Morning, sugars. I’ve been gone for a few days. No chance in me catching up, hope I didn’t miss anything important! :)

  413. kLAINY says:

    NYC SB: DO elaborate! Good sugar weekend I presume??

    Taylor: I’m going to give it to you straight up. If you have too many SDs going at the same time and taking from them more you are giving (I mean mentally, emotionally) you are more like a highend call girl vs a sb. Please tread carefully. Arrangements are not about greed and getting as much as possible. It’s so much more about connection and spoiling because they care for you, not just because.

  414. Taylor says:

    So, in my news over here in arctic and cold land, SafetyNetGuy is putting the pressure on to decide about engaging in an arrangement with him. The allowance is just enough to float my living expenses, nothing more. It isn’t that appealing, compared with what he is looking for in terms of being in constant touch with me.

    Last weeks 2 pots that I met for the first time, live, are really history now, thank goodness. They were cheap, anyways. That’s the most common problem in this country, cheap & sour. Bleh.

    Tomorrow’s pot, let’s call him SweetDaddy, called me up again to talk about tomorrow. We’ve had several long phone calls and he is so calm, good natured, and easy to talk to, as far as I can tell. He is coming to my town (he lives a couple hours drive away) and letting me plan the entire chunk of time we will spend together. He’s never been to the modern art museum and I freakin’ love that place, so after a light snack at 2pm, we’ll have some hours there, and then cruise through the design district where, …..if his sugar antennae are firing on full, …..then he’ll notice my eyes gravitate towards what I like in the single-designer-boutiques, and he’ll buy me something as a gesture of wanting to take things further. If he seems oblivious to this I might even drop a very subtle hint….dreamily comment about a shiny pair of shoes in the window and muse ‘to myself’ about how I always drool over x item whenever I walk by, of course not even checking his face for a response so he really feels no pressure to jump in and offer to have a look at it, and then gift it for me. I’m pretty good at this type of hinting, and will only even ‘go there’ if he seems really interested and excited about me. Then we have dinner reservations at a very nice place in town, so I’ll have to be dressed very elegantly all day in order to go there, but that’s nice and what I would have done anyway. He has to catch a train home right after, but it will have been enough time together by then (um, 7 hours? enough.) and then let’s see about how he follows up later in the week… At the very least, tomorrow will be so much fun, assuming we get along in person as well as we do when we are talking on the phone.

    Meeting a pot SD tonight for a drink. I won’t nickname him since I don’t have any reason to take him very seriously yet. He describes in email his divorce process + his girlfriend getting upset and shutting him out for whatever reason, and that being his reasoning behind seeking an MBA for awhile. He currently has no women in his life willing to smile for, or have fun with, him. He is willing to support my entire living expenses in a bit more generous fashion (extra for incidentals, etc) than SafetyNetGuy, and is so busy he said that he could take me out maybe 3 times per month and that’s it, and it doesn’t seem like he’d be getting overly attached, blowing up my cell phone, etc, so that’s a more appealing arrangement in theory. Let’s see how chemistry works out, live.

    Any thoughts on my previous question about multiple SDs and the juggling act it would take to maintain it? Anyone done it? I’d love to find one guy who can provide everything I am seeking, sugar-wise, but right now it seems like a much easier task to create it piece-meal, with a couple of different guys. Sigh.

  415. kLAINY says:

    I want to go to Andara in Phuket… Anyone wanna take me?
    google it and check out the suites…mmmmm

    I’ll be REAL good

  416. NYC SB says:

    Carp Cutie – you have an email back

    I am still in la la land from this weekend… simply AMAZING!

  417. kLAINY says:

    damn put in url and now i’m in mod hell

  418. kLAINY says:

    WHAT???!! Yasmin went and didn’t tell me??? Now that’s diabolical! o wait, she might’ve told me, but I just didn’t listen.

    wrt 3some. you better talk to betty about that one.

  419. kLAINY says:

    Yes and I am recruiting clientale aka YOU

  420. NC Gent says:

    You drive a tough bargain — if I get a suite we better have that threesome you owe me Kitty! The dinner attendees were: Anna Molly, NY Gent, myself, Muse, NYC SB, East Coast Filly, Midwest Mistress, Creme Brulee and Yasmine. You can yell at Yasmine for not sharing also!

  421. NC Gent says:

    So you’re a dealer and you drive a Mercedes SLK, Kitty. The drug business must still be good huh??

  422. kLAINY says:

    NC: AND a suite? I might not be playing but I’m still very well loving everyone… who all went?

  423. kLAINY says:

    Taylor: THanks… It’s used and it helps when I am a dealer myself lol.

  424. NC Gent says:

    ummmmm (looking sheepishly) there was an NYC meet on December 8th. I didn’t think you were still playing in the sugar world because I hadn’t heard from you for a while Kitty :( I will buy your plane ticket for the next one :)

    I plead the 5th on drugs but will mention I was in college for 9 years :)

  425. Taylor says:

    Good job, kLAINY.

    I’ve never done any drugs. I’m so straight laced.

  426. kLAINY says:

    NC: No way man! Worked hard for my little baby…

    Anna Molly: SO THERE WAS A NYC MEET???!! WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED?? WHY DID I NOT GET AN E-mAIL???!! <– I am looking at u for this one NC

  427. Anna Molly says:

    Alright Kitty!! I need a SM too…please, pretty please….LOL :)

  428. kLAINY says:

    Anna: How’s everything?? found sugary goodness yet???

    NC: opps, thought it was the 50s actually lol… jk jk jk
    wait.. NEXT NYC meet?? was there a first one?

  429. Anna Molly says:

    WoooHooo!! I’m so in, NC and NY on X!! That is definately something I can’t miss!!

    When are back in NYC NC? Seriously, I would love to see everyone again :)

  430. NC Gent says:

    Will you be my sugar momma now Kitty???

  431. kLAINY says:

    I think weed will always be a classic.
    Holy.. this Sugar chat all of a sudden became stoner chat…
    On to other news….
    Guess who drives a CLK 350 hardtop conv now? AND PAID with her OWN MONEY???

  432. NC Gent says:

    hmmmm the next NYC meet can be an X party?? lol

  433. NC Gent says:

    p.s. Kitty — I didn’t go to college in the 60s, smart arse 😉

  434. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Kitty :)

    NC ~ I think you would enjoy the X experience and I really would pay to see it :)

  435. NC Gent says:

    Acid was starting to phase out and was replaced by coke (surely not for economic reasons). The illicit drug of choice was still weed though — was only a $25 misdemeanor fine and you really had to do something stupid to get a ticket for it!

  436. kLAINY says:

    Wasn’t Acid huge in YOUR college days NC?

  437. NC Gent says:

    Hi Anna Molly — yeah it is still called X or E now. Didn’t have those good drugs when I was in college lol dang I missed some fun stuff!

    oops sorry about that s3x vs sex — I use a chat room once in a while and they ban you for the day if you type sex so I got used to typing s3x

  438. kLAINY says:

    Hey Anna Molly!! I recall you from WAY back in the day!!!

  439. kLAINY says:

    HAHAHAAA NC! I was like wtf is S3x? so I looked it up on google (on work computer)!!!! DAMN I AM DUMB TODAY!!!!!

  440. Anna Molly says:

    NC on X….LOL, I would pay to see that!!

    When I was a 18 it was called X….hmmm, where the hell have I been?!

  441. NC Gent says:

    I heard that s3x is different and enjoyable on E — I am adventurous but do worry about getting some bad drugs…

  442. kLAINY says:

    NC.. I’d love to entertain you with e one day! It’s so much fun! Actually, haven’t done it since I was 18…

  443. kLAINY says:

    I haven’t experienced a gent taking E or V. I don’t think I’ll enjoy it much… It’s a huge turn on for me, personally, to make a man excited…

  444. NC Gent says:

    ty Kitty :)

  445. NC Gent says:

    Ok — I think i got it… e-pill = extacy and v-pill is viagra doh! I would like to try extacy, but not sure that opportunity will ever present itself :) sorry for being a little slow this morning — I have a sinus infection and I am drugged up!

  446. kLAINY says:

    NC Gent: Nice to see you too!! sorry I come and disappear a lot. I think the V-pill is viagra? right? and e-pill is xtacy????

  447. kLAINY says:

    It’s been EXACTLY a year since Vegas trip. And I miss it so much… the VIPs… the luxury… the fun.. the love… the SAM. :( I think it’s time we redo the trip. Any sponsors? We are a bunch of gorgeous, fun loving and affectionate SBs from around the world. :) xoxo… jk

  448. NC Gent says:

    Hi — hope all is well. Hi Taylor — I know what the e-pill is I think but I don’t take Viagra…. heck if the wind blows in the right direction, I am good to go. Not sure what the v-pill is…. but I am intrigued now.

    Good to see you Kitty!

  449. kLAINY says:

    Gail: Hey babe! Miss you lots. What is it going to take to persuade you to join fbook? I miss seeing your pretty face. I know it’s so silly, but we got so close the little time we spent in LV. OYu’re like the sister I never had and I miss you. *pout* *pout*

    Lisa: So glad that you’ve got a SD now! You definitely deserved it. I haven’t had a chance to catch up on the entire blog.. YEAR that I have missed…

    Everyone: Glad to see a whole new Sugar family here. Hope everyone is playing nice and getting some golden sugar advice. :) I’m Klainy. Some of you might remember me… If not.. you can find me in one of the testimonial videos.

  450. cleo says:

    taylor: i prefer a man who can repeat himself to one who is artificially enhanced and well, *i* don’t need the help :)

  451. The Lone Gunman says:

    Taylor: Are you saying that you a seeking that experience?

    Any special reason?


  452. NYGent says:

    Stephanie: Done.

  453. Taylor says:

    Am I the only strange girl who has never experienced or been around anyone using the v pill or e pill?

  454. Taylor says:

    Yay, I have good company!!!

    So have any of ya’ll ever considered having 2 or 3 (or even 4) SDs in order to hit your target monthly allowance, if one uber-rich-and-generous SD is just not appearing at your doorstep?

    There are a few viable local SDs here, and a few interesting SDs abroad, and I am toying with the idea of having one that I fly out to visit every 2-3 weeks, and having another local SD with a lower-than-I’d-truly-like allowance here in town to hang out with a few times during the month, whenever, to keep me entertained sugared when I’m not traveling. It’s a slippery slope once you start thinking like that, though. THen it’s like, “Why not have a monthly trip to New York AND a monthly trip to Miami AND a monthly trip to London to meet up with SDs in each city and get sugared up, and have as many men here locally that take me around my own city and wine and dine and shop me lest I get bored when I’m home….” and of course greed fuels this fire….

    The problems are obviously: a) finding even one SD you genuinely like and feel chemistry with is a challenge enough, so finding that spark several times over takes a miracle…. b) there is only so much time in a given month to flit about and bond with people, and c) juggling more than two SDs would get tricky in terms of them kinda noticing & feeling like they’re not really getting that much from you, mentally, and you also feeling less connected with any one guy, less genuinely enjoying the relationship, and more like a pro and less like you have an awesome relationship with a guy who spoils you. That’s not something I could do. However, I am the sort of girl who has a million friends, and always feels genuine/authentic ‘in the moment’ when I am one-on-one with any single *one* of my friends. So why couldn’t sugar be equally amplified? If I have 60 great friends on speed dial on my phone, and a good 15 of those are friends I feel truly truly connected to nearly to a spiritual level (like ‘chosen family’ vs. biological family’ type of thing) and never feel like I should narrow down my list of friends in order to focus better on just one or two…. then why isn’t it possible with a few sugar daddies?

    I’m just a girl who gets bored, and I haven’t found that guy who could spend enough time with me to keep me entertained, who could *also* afford my target allowance. Yet. I’m still looking, though…. Just one sounds so much simpler and much more ‘Pretty Woman’/magical.

    But I don’t think it’s the only way. I’m definitely thinking that having two wouldn’t run into any of the three pitfalls I mentioned above, and probably not three either. More than that I think the pitfalls become glaringly present, but I don’t know.

    Your experiences? Please tell.

  455. Anna Molly says:

    I’m awake :)

    Good morning everyone! :)

  456. Taylor says:

    Anyone awake today yet?

  457. Stephanie says:

    How do you manage your sugar selection process? I look for people who seem to be looking for the same thing as I am.

    What is a simple way to agree on a location and/or activity for the 1st meet? I like for the gentleman to pick the place.

    Have you ever had (or turned down) an arrangement that was too complicated? Yes.

    Any sugar news to report? Unfortunately, no. NYGent: I’ve been lurking and respect what you have to say. I know that my pictures are undesirable; but, could you take a look at my profile and email me with your thoughts on the text? My profile number is 406908

    Any sugar news to report?

  458. SBnxtdoor says:

    Taylor brings up an interesting point with her potSd who wants to randomly contribute and pamper– I wonder if arrangements have changed over the years to become what they are, as in X amount of money per month. Perhaps, this is how it used to be done and now everyone wants everything spelled out. I can understand how generous men may be turned off to be pegged down to a number per month. However, due to the numbers of fake SD out there, I feel guarded to accepting a nebulous amount open arrangement. I wish I could just happily trust and accept whatever is thrown my way.

  459. LASB says:

    Oh, I haven’t had the ones that are JUST phone numbers. Usually they say at least a sentence or two, expressing interest. And yeah, for the “party” guys? NEXT!

  460. I’ve just had two emails that were just phone numbers, and yes, it does weird me out. About three months ago, I had on one day, three emails requesting that I come over to apts in various parts of the city to “party.” I had never heard from them before…In my mind I think that there are guys here who think this is an out call service.

  461. LASB says:

    Cutie – I don’t have a problem with it, but I understand that it freaks people out a lot. I have more of a problem when they tell me they want to talk on the phone and ask for my number. My thought process on that one is that should leave their number so at least I have the option of blocking mine when I call.

  462. Got a question for everyone- does anyone get leery of a guy who replies to an email with just a phone number, or is it just me?

  463. cleo says:

    man, i love the directions this place can take. i’m just doing a driveby, i have to drive tomorrow…

  464. Flo Rida says:

    Elegant – I prefer Sketch (personal preference only) and btw you are Flo Rida in disguise – you’ve kidnapped her, what have you done with the real Flo Rida. You fiend.

  465. NYCBella, congrats on the date!

    Rosa, put on your tennies and run, girl, run!

    Have a great night everyone!

  466. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Rosa- Block him. He is wasting your time and is potentially setting you up for a scam. Please be careful.

    NYCBella – congrats on a fabulous sugar date. Hopefully more will follow!

    Evening sugars! I’m not here for long, but missed my blogger friends. Have a wonderful evening!

  467. NYCBella says:

    Taylor~I’m in NYC (along with several other fabulous blog SBs), when you know your plans; and if you do work something out to come to NYC, keep me posted and we’ll get together.

  468. Taylor says:

    WHY am I still awake???

    NYGent, whew, you just saved yourself from getting into a little scuffle with me. 😉

    Rosa, what the heck. Why continue talking to him? Block all communcations. Period. Problem solved.

  469. NYCBella says:

    Long time no blog, sugars! Hope you’re having a good weekend. I’m just watching the Grammy’s and reflecting over a really amazing Saturday with an IRL pot SD.

    Rosa~Obviously this guy isn’t an SD. He sounds like a slime ball….run, run, run! And don’t look back. Oh, and you can tell him to go to niteflirt if he wants a cam session (make him pay for it) and to leave you alone (if that’s not what you’re into). It seems to me, in my past experience, cam guys are never gonna get out of their mommy’s basements and prove to be of any worth. Next!

  470. Rosa says:

    Hey,I have been having a rough time looking for a SD.
    Right now I am trying to get rid of this guy who wants me to send $50 to his “adoptive” kids and then when I said that I can’t or tell him I need money for bills (which need to be paid for) he gets upset and tells me that I am selfish. Along with this,he always asking to see my cam. Its really frustrating and upsetting. I need advice.

  471. Anna Molly says:

    Hi everybody! I hope y’all had a good weekend :)

  472. NYGent says:

    Taylor: very impressive!

  473. Taylor says:

    AAhhhh 4 am …gotta go to sleep.

    I write too much text on here, don’t I? I should keep it to the point. Brevity is divine, eh?

    THanks for putting up with me and my sugar musings, ya’ll.

    I may have a sugar trip to NYC, Miami, and/or London coming up in Feb. Who is there, who could theoretically join me for a mini-meet?

  474. Taylor says:

    It’s not youtube. And that’s me singing. Got a problem with that? Huh? do ya?

    (blog rumble begins…..)

  475. NYGent says:

    Taylor: when you clink on your link a youtube of a girl singing in a club comes up, what’s the deal with that?

  476. Taylor says:

    Elegant, you made total sense. I also like that guy’s idea of an organic, natural sugar relationship that involves impromptu spoiling and gifting but….. isn’t that just a generous, spendy boyfriend who has no interest in discussing future plans/making-commitments, then, and not an arrangement? Such blurry lines.

    I think a monthly allowance is definitely the name of the game here on SA and in all honesty, only fair if the SB in question needs one to help her relax about her financial burden and get in that party frame of mind to go out and have amazing sugar dates with her sugar sweetie. How can you do that if your bills are piling up and the thought of that is niggling in the back of your mind all the time? If the SD really wants you to be able to partake in the best version of you, then making your life run smoother is certainly an excellent way to get you in that best possible mood. Plus spoiling and gifts as the surprise portion.

    That’s what i want, anyways. I have no need for a gift daddy.

  477. NJLady says:

    Evening Sugar’s,

    Wouldn’t you knowit, the one who viewed my profile, who seemed the MOST interesting, lives in Beverly Hills. It seems that the interesting ones, live out of state. NJ has NOTHING! What is wrong with my state? I regrete not being able to travel, due to school. And most SD’s want to travel. I wrote on my profile, I welcome those from out of state, just keep in mind that I can’t travel right now.

  478. Taylor says:

    Wow, I just found a local pot non-single SD #7 who seems enthralled with the idea of a MBA. We’ve been friends online for 9-12 months, and I’ve in the past tried to entice him away from his long time partner 😉 and we’ve had webcam skype calls, etc, and he’s almost always abroad for work. He’s never wanted to date me, always wanted NSA and I’ve turned him down. He chatted me up tonight for the first time in I-don’t-know-how-long and I realized he may be the perfect candidate for an MBA and it turns out I was exactly right. He is in Japan right now but getting on the plane to come home in an hour and he said he’s going to take me for lunch immediately after the jet lag subsides and try to work something out. Not bad.

    Out of those seven pot SDs who are non-SA, local dudes, I only think that four are viable, although there is one that I certainly haven’t met or know much about yet so that’s a wild card and supposedly a coffee is to be scheduled tomorrow, so who knows. The two I met last week are 99% a no-go, and there are four to meet and discuss ‘terms’ with this week to see if there is a match-made-in-heaven with someone.

    And then there’s the married pot who is obsessed with me. OBSESSED. He calls me to say ‘good morning.’ Sigh.

    There are billions of SA SDs who are claiming to be totally into the idea of flying me + my friend to visit their area and have dinner with them to explore chemistry, but I am exploring those avenues only when bored because I know they usually turn out to be Poof Daddies and nothing will materialize.

    Good night, sugars!

  479. ElegantSugar says:

    I failed miserably with expressing my point in that story above. I meant, most SBs would rather have a set amount that also coincides with an expected amount of time together – so they can budget AND plan their social activities outside of the Sugar World. I hope I made sense.

  480. ElegantSugar says:

    Taylor: As a flipside story to what I wrote above, I have a current pot SD who is adamantly against the idea of $x per month for x amount of expected days. He has ONLY ever had arrangements he met with women IRL and the word arrangement NEVER came up. The financial support and gifts he gave were just out of his own desire, which grew organically from their relationships and time spent together. He is making an attempt to recreate this same type of scenario with someone he meets on SA and believe me, failing miserably at it because most SBs want a set amount – which makes sense for budgeting purposes.

    The Sugar World an be a sticky, hot mess of a place…

  481. ElegantSugar says:

    You don’t have to juggle, Taylor. The right arrangement will be presented if you just keep looking and have the time to be patient. Your needs/wants and complete comfort factor is just as important as the SD’s.

  482. ElegantSugar says:


  483. ElegantSugar says:

    NYGent:Yes, agreed. My Board of Directors analogy was a bit over the top. I guess it was the best way I could explain it though. I realize my time is valuable, indeed. I was raised to never bit the hand that feeds you, so perhaps that would have been a better analogy to remove the rigid business feel? :)

  484. NYGent says:

    I tend to agree with Elegant on this, although I will say her regimented, board of directors type SD examples seem overly-controlling. But at the other end of laxity, an SB allowance is not like a child’s allowance. A parent gives a kid an allowance basically as a gift, not as part of some deal concerning how much time the kid will spend hanging out with parent (with whom the kid generally lives full-time anyway and sees every day). A better analogy might be an allowance given by a divorced parent with custody visitation rights — but then we are back to an arrangement which is highly regulated and controlled in terms of # of visits and when. I’m not sure there is any way to avoid at least a “rough” mental calculation as to SB allowance vs. # of meetings; the key is that it is not paid on a per visit basis, but once or twice a month, which makes the transactional aspect less visible cosmetically, although it’s always going to be lurking in the background.

  485. Taylor says:


    I like your comments, Elegant. Nice way to put it.

    I just haven’t met any local millionaires who can really splash out a great monthly allowance scheme, but I have met half a dozen who would all be happy to see me infrequently for a modest allowance…. and at those levels, it’s hard not to do the breakdown adn figure out if its’ twice a month at x amount, what that breaks down to per time, ya know?

    It’s becoming clear that finding modest daddies and maintaining a schedule with several of them would be easy, and my target allowance could be hit, cumulatively.

    But that’s not what I want. I don’t wanna juggle….

  486. ElegantSugar says:

    Another side note to my comment to Taylor above: Of course this doesn’t mean you don’t have a voice during the negotiation process. If you do the math and determine your time is worth more, tell him so. I mean, realistically, when you go on a job interview and the company offers you a six figure salary, you’re not sitting their calculating how much that breaks down into as hourly pay…because trust me, if you did, the six figures wouldn’t be enough.

  487. ElegantSugar says:

    I meant drink Mixologist, of course.

  488. ElegantSugar says:

    Oh, how rude of me. HELLO, all! Hope you had a fabulous weekend. I think I found a perfect bowling shirt for our video production. It says, “GRAB YOUR BALLS” on the front. “We’re going Bowling!” on the back.

  489. ElegantSugar says:

    Taylor: You can write it out as clearly as you want to them and type it in ALL CAPS and BOLD, but at the end of the day, they are still going to have an idea of how the arrangement needs to work for THEM. They are the ones putting forth the working capital (assets), so to speak. If current assets are less than current liabilities, an entity has a working capital deficiency, also called a working capital deficit. They are businessmen, it’s the way they operate.

    I had a SD who had a calendar he issued to each one of his SBs at the beginning of each month (He usually had 2-3 at a time). Very similar to the kind of work schedule they used to have hanging in the back office when I worked retail years ago. All SB’s phone numbers were listed at the bottom (after we gave him permission to do so, of course). If there was a day you were scheduled to go out on a date with him that didn’t work for you, you had to contact the other SBs and ask to trade days. Then we would let him know the next time we saw him and he would adjust accordingly and issue new calendars to us all. He certainly didn’t mean to make it seem as though it was a J-O-B, however, he ran several companies, didn’t have time to try and call everyone every single day to try to make plans for the week, so this was the only way he could keep his social calendar organized. Each SB had a set allowance and you didn’t receive any deductions if you had to cancel last minute, but it was certainly frowned up on if you did it frequently. It was known that he would eventually ‘fire’ the SB the same way he would fire an employee for repeated truancy.

    I had another SD who didn’t have such an expected ‘set’ schedule. He just planned two trips a month. Sometimes they were 2-3 day trips then were times we went on 10-12 day trips. The monthly allowance was never altered based on whether the trips were short or extended.

    I guess my point is, the SDs are kind of the Board of Directors in this little business called an ARRANGEMENT, therefore, will probably have a stronger voice in the business model they prefer. They are generally certainly respectful and will always ask for your input, but will almost always have a schedule in mind they want. You just have to remove it from your head that it means they are trying to buy hours of your time. It’s just the way these busy, successful men need things to be sometimes.

    Flo: Colin Field at Bar Hemingway in Hotel Ritz London is the most GENIUS MIXOLOGISTS of all times. Speaking of v and e. The former I think is very common. The latter, not so much. At least not in my experiences.

  490. Just tell them exactly like that. Simplicity is best. Someone once told me that if a guy is asking upfront what you expect for an allowance, don’t pussyfoot, tell them because (a) they’re serious about having some sugar in their life and (b)they have a set limit in their head. Conversely, you have the same reasons- if they back off, there’s always another fish in the pond.

  491. Taylor says:

    Lisa, too funny! :)

    Carp— I *do* think about it that way, myself. But how do I get a GUY to think about it that way?

  492. Taylor, think of it as if you were giving an allowance to a child- you give them a flat amount for a period of time and that’s that.

  493. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Just make sure you charge them extra for swallowing :) lol

  494. Taylor says:

    Ok, I have a question. Men in this country seem to be stuck on the exact amount of allowance vs. how many times they will get to meet you. I would much rather find one SD who will pay a more-than-sufficient allowance and then work me into his busy schedule as often as he can, and not be hung up on trying to calculate how many times vs. how much allowance, and mentally doing the division and evaluating how much cash per meet that ends up being…. that makes it feel so transactional and like I am really selling my time. I don’t want it to be like that to either of us. I want him to be able to afford my target allowance, happy to pay it, and then able to spend a nice amount of time with me (once a week, twice a week, terribly much more than that would feel odd, like we are together constantly) but pretty busy and not really able to spend a huge percentage of his month hanging out with me (so I can have my life too!). But the local guys here want to talk about arrangements in transactional terms, like, ok, 3k for weekly meet-ups, and explicitly calculating out loud what that ends up costing them per meet, etc…. I don’t like that! I don’t want it to be like that, I don’t want to talk about sugar in that way…. ahhh!

    How do I make that clear? How do I sort of deal with these up front negotiations and hammer out an arrangement that is very clear, without making myself feel like I am bartering x amount of money for x number of hours of my time, which feels terrible….?

  495. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Taylor says:”Made me want to barf” not exactly the results I got after eating the red velvet cupcake

  496. Taylor says:

    I saw that profile, too, CarpathianCutie! In the ‘most recently logged in’ search results. Made me want to barf.

  497. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    on the subject of Starbucks, STAY AWAY from the red velvet cupcake.
    Had one the other day, bad choice, lol

  498. Ugh. Just got an email from someone who’s headline is “Buyer’s Market.” If that’s not a turnoff, I don’t know what is. I’m not even going to read the email.

  499. Taylor says:

    :) I am loving this description! I two really boring pot SD 1st-time-meet-ups last week and both of them were just so *UGLY* and not in a way that they couldn’t have overcome if they would be awesome on the inside. Both of them had this posture, gait, demeanour, facial expression, body language that was just…….. SOUR. The euphamism here is SUGAR, meaning, sweetness, the sweetness of generosity of having someone who wants to make you smile, on both ends. Mutual. Someone who is approaching this from a SOUR and negative frame of mind…. well, I wouldn’t wish those men on sex workers, but rather… to their wives? or their right hands? I dunno. Blech. I want a great guy for a SD, someone I genuinely like and enjoy spending time with. Physical chemistry can come in time, if you are getting an awesome vibe from someone, even if they aren’t Mr. Hottie McHotterson at first glance. Obviously obese or decrepit candidates are exceptions (no amount of awesome personality in the world can get past that!), as are terrible B.O. or an irritating voice/laugh. But in general, I’m open minded to how my potential SD will look, not seeking a gorgeous model, per se.

    Even though my pot married SD is an ex-model indeed. However, he calls me all the time, just to talk about how his entire life has changed since he met me and everyone can sense it, everyone sees it and behaves differently around him….. he’s so excited at the thought of ending his marriage in the forseeable future and fantasizing about moving on with me. I haven’t been that honest with him in terms of my body language. He probably thinks I’m into him. I’m just not.

    I don’t know about an arrangement with him. I just don’t. He is ready to start here and now, Feb 2010 onwards but…. I think I would start to feel like the emotional labor in handling his obsessive infatuation with me would not be worth the amount he can contribute.

  500. Taylor, they were so long that they moved when he inhaled and exhaled. It was fascinating to watch….like an Animal Planet special.

  501. Taylor says:

    They certainly are, Carp. No sexy stuff.

    bo derek nose. I am cracking up…….

  502. Anna Molly says:

    Cutie ~ No, he wasn’t that generous. He should take lessons from SDN on how he should treat a SB….LOL

  503. Flo Rida, thanks for the input.

    Anna Molly, I’m sorry, but that’s hilarious! Did he want to take you to Mickey D’s later for dessert and spring for one of their sundaes?

  504. Flo Rida says:

    Carpathian – i’m informed by one blog SB and one non-blog SB that the emails are rather creepy aready without encouraging more creepiness in the profiles (just their 2cents).

  505. Anna Molly says:

    How do you manage your sugar selection process? – Taylor
    I never had too many people interested at one time, so I was able to keep everything organized in my head…LOL

    What is a simple way to agree on a location and/or activity for the 1st meet?
    I always let the guy decide. I haven’t been disappointed, except for the guy I met at Starbucks and wanted me to go to the Super 8 for $250.

    Have you ever had (or turned down) an arrangement that was too complicated?
    Nope :)

  506. Flo Rida says:

    Carpathian (?) On upscale b-fast – I used to love having breakfast at the Ritz (not Ritz Carlton) in London when I was poor. Any date could afford GBP60-80 for breakfast but maybe not GBP300 for dinner (then maybe GBP500 now lol).

    Taylor – I’ve been delayed by weather, then went out late then party late – so very tired.

    All – why hasn’t the V pill been mentioned on this blog – or the E pill? Even if it’s recreational usage? Strange?

    Hope everyone’s having a great wknd!

  507. Hey Anna Molly- I’ve been procrastinating all day lol
    Deneene- I hope everything’s ok with you.

    All this question’s for the gals here–should you or should you not mention anything sexual in your profile, or should you keep it squeaky clean??? I know that someone-sorry, can’t remember who- mentioned that she talks about sex toys on her profile.
    Do you feel that it’s better to keep something’s on the downlow like either sexual proclivities or if you’re, let’s say multi-orgasmic etc., off the profile or better to put on the profile? And if you do, isn’t there a concern that someone may misinterpret what you’ve written as coming from an escort?
    Inquiring minds want to know!

  508. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Deneene, TLG and Cutie :)
    Hope your weekend has been good to you so far :)

    Hi Molly! Welcome :)

  509. Deneene says:

    hi everyone, ive been away dealing with family issues.

  510. NY SB- just sent you an email, I hope I’m not too late :)

    Regarding the questions-
    How do you manage your sugar selection process? – Taylor
    Just starting more-or-less, so I read the profile AND the email. Someone with a huge list of demands or an extremely long profile turns me off, because it’s just toooo damn long….lol.

    What is a simple way to agree on a location and/or activity for the 1st meet?
    I’d prefer to meet for a drink in a nicely appointed watering hole. Starbucks, IMHO is too tacky for a first meeting.

    Have you ever had (or turned down) an arrangement that was too complicated? I have turned down three arrangements- one was a guy going on trip months from when he wanted and initial meet. It was super important for him to have arm candy for the trip only. Just not my cup of tea.
    The other was from a guy who showed up over a half hour late for the meeting and was 30 years older than he stated in his profile. ‘Nuff said.
    The last was from a guy who spent the entire time listing his assets, got huffy when it came to paying the bill and after we walked outside the place, informed me that we would only F*()*)*) the next time we met. Um, not gonna happen. Esp., when I was fantasizing the entire time about braiding his nose hairs and putting beads on them.

    Head up guys! Grooming is just as important to you as it is to us! Do you really wanna have a Bo Derek nose?

    Any sugar news to report?

  511. cleo says:

    TLG: same here! and i was all bummed about it too

  512. Molly says:

    Hi everyone, I have found a great SD from this site but he has moved so I am starting anew on this site – it has worked great for me! I’ve been lucky. So I though I would “give back” so to speak and offer up some words of wisdom and help if I can. Also I am older (over 35) and have a good idea of what works, what doesn’t. Being a SB has helped me in so many ways from getting businesses off the ground, to paying my bills, to fabulous travel and of course, great sex.

    How do you manage your sugar selection process?
    I start with emailing, careful review of their profile and then some online chat. Then I give them my cell phone. i look for honesty, intelligence and sincerity. I generally don’t bother much with the out of state men. They either just like the fantasy, or want to waste lots of time with chat. Also lots of men like to respond to my profile and say, hey I travel once in awhile to your city, shall we get together? umm, no! That isn’t the point of a SD/SB relationship. Seems like they are just looking for a sexy dinner date. If I have absolutely nothing to do, sometimes I will meet them for dinner if a pot SD is visiting from out of town – but not for a casual one nighter of sex – I don’t do that. And NO pay-per-meets. Ever. And I make that clear. Clear communication, (in a sweet and sexy way) is your best friend! If the pot is in your city very often and you seriously hit it off it may work. However, your best bets are usually in your own city or close. beware of the time wasters.

    What is a simple way to agree on a location and/or activity for the 1st meet?

    I like to suggest meeting for happy hour (as a previous poster said) in an upscale hotel bar or other wine bar. I also like meeting at an upscale breakfast place for coffee. Suggest somewhere nice, yet discreet with a lot of traffic so you can talk. If he is married, keep in mind he will need to meet during the day, or suggest an early-morning coffee date. i always bring my laptop/briefcase and dress very business like so as not to attract attention. Look like you are going on a job interview!

    Have you ever had (or turned down) an arrangement that was too complicated?

    I have turned down any SD who wants to pay-per-meet. Or who wants me to travel to meet him the 1st time out of my state. I think if he is serious about meeting you and lives out of town, he should book a hotel room in your city and meet you that way. It is easier and safer.

    Any sugar news to report?

    Yes! Although my last SD from this site has moved for health reasons, I have a wine bar date with someone new tomorrow who seems great and has passed all of my initial requirements lol.

  513. The Lone Gunman says:

    How odd. The Blog appeared to be shut down for replies and now seems to be open again.


  514. Taylor says:

    I wonder how Elegantsugar and Flo Rida’s weekends are going….

    I’ve caught up on everyone’s posts while I was out tonight, dancing, having fun and doing what I do best–bringing people together. Meaning I connected with four different friends who aren’t particularly that good friends with one another, plus two of their friends, and our group of seven had the most amazing time going from nightclub to nightclub to afterparty. I laughed so much I think my tummy will be aching tomorrow in soreness. What a fun night. I love love love love seeing people that I think are awesome hooking togehter and hitting it off and having a wonderful time and the entire gang feeling like…. a gang. I get so proud realizing that the pieces were mostly hand selected from people that I have met and retained as friends, and then they get thrown together and have looks on their faces like they are having the most fun and could have known each other for years. Sigh. Just so awesome. Of course I had a blast, too. But seeing everyone else have a blast is even better. My friend had a birthday ten days ago and I did a big thing out of quieting all the music and singing Happy Birthday to him, super slow and all diva-fied/R&B’d out, and he nearly cried.

    What a fun night.

    Haven’t thought about sugar in like ten entire hours! wow. 😉

  515. NJLady says:

    Well, I’m turning is Sugar’s….Everyone have a good & blessed night.

  516. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    NJLady – Absolutely true! My favorite story regarding prespectives is by Robert Fulghum…to paraphrase a lump in your oatmeal, a lump in your throat and a lump in your breast are not all the same lump. Ask yourself if this is a problem or an inconvenience. Volunteering always has a “warm, fuzzy” bonus too!

  517. ESB says:

    Well the girls have brought the party to the computer room, so I need to get off of here.

    NJ: you are so right, helping others is a great way to make your self feel better for so many reasons.

    Night all… Sugar HUGS!!

  518. NJLady says:

    Midwest- I have to agree with you about the volunteering part. I’m looking to abopt oneday and I wrote to an agency today about doing just that. Also, I belong to a singles ministry at my church. Their looking for people to volunteer as well. When you start helping those who are in need it’s funny how your problems seem small compaired to theirs.

  519. Yaz says:

    ESB~ No snow here but veryyyyy cold and windy Ugh

    Back to dancing ( and excercising at the same time lol)

  520. Yaz says:

    Hi Midwest! :-)

    Sugar is indeed very sweet 😉 More details to come later.

    Im in my room dancing to Beyonce and Lady Gaga’s “Telephone”. I LOVE that song! Just makes me want to put on my stilettos and mini dress and hit the club every time I hear it LOL

  521. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Hi Yaz! How’s the sugar world? I hope you two get to see one another again soon!

  522. ESB says:

    OH MY!! ONe of my daughters friends just came in and asked what Sugar Daddy blog was. I said a sight where mostly women talk about dating… she looked at me and said “the only dates YOU are allowed to go on are with me and Baby Girl and Bug” LOL… what they don’t know won’t hurt them. They have no idea I’ve been dating for a year now. i think I have this whole “discreet” thing down pretty good!! Been to 3 states on dates, a few weekends, and they still don’t know… yea, got an A+ in that class at spy school! 😉

  523. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Taz, LASB and ESB – Very interesting conversation going on! Perhaps we can all sit in a room over many bottles of wine and carry it further!
    1- I converted to Catholicism at the age of 38 after trying many religions. It always made me feel like a person should choose later instead of being forced to accept the family religion…it means so much more then.

    The Secret – I got the basic premise well before I finished the book. You are right in that the business books follow the same philosophy…if you close a sale, keep the momentum going..you exude confidence, have a positive air and believe in what you are presenting. Good begets good, negativity begets negativity.

    Moods- I am one of those firm believers that if the moon can affect the tides, it can have a molecular or magnetic pull on our physical electromagnetism. (Did I say that right?) In other words, I believe the full moon makes people behave differently. I have proven this to be true after many years of tending bar.

    Going out alone – when I was stir crazy enough, I would take $10 to happy hour with a buffet. You can eat conservatively, buy a drink or two and be social. By the 3rd drink, some new friends are offering to buy you your next cocktail. Works 90% of the time. I like the $1.00 movies that I never went to see during their premiers. Volunteering is a great way to get out and meet people who have the same interests as you. One of my favorite pasttimes is to get a cup of coffee at one of the better book stores and explore whatever section interests you the most. Even if you don’t meet someone, you will find something of interest.

  524. ESB says:

    HI Yaz, how are you this evening? are you with in the winter storm’s range? I’m in 6″ of snow right now :(

  525. Yaz says:

    Just wanted to say a quick hello to everyone! :-)

  526. ESB says:

    OH, that is right, he promised to give us all exams!! All for the cause of cancer prevention, of course!! He’s great. I think it was Marilyn Monroe that said “If you can get a woman to laugh, you can get her to give you anything”… he has a great talent for making us all laugh, that is for sure.

  527. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    ESB – if you promise him BOOBIES (they don’t even have to be perky lmfao!) I am sure he will show 😉

  528. ESB says:

    I’m thinking if SDN reads all this about the Catholic uniforms, he’s gonna have something to say… and make us all laugh!! I so want to meet him!!
    I hope he comes to our next DMV meet!! Actually, anyone who wants to come, I think we are planning on Feb. 20. I’m leaving the details to DC. She is one amazing woman!! Smart, sexy, and very knowledgable on all things Sugar! Love that girl!!

  529. ESB says:

    I’d love to have a pair of those knee highs right now… just because they are WARM!!! I have 6″ of snow out side!! Brrrr

  530. LASB says:

    Oh yeah, and I’d love to get some of those awesome knee highs – you know, those white ones with the vertical chain pattern on them. Hmm, maybe I’ll put that on my wishlist. hehe.

  531. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Never did the uniform thing – thankfully 😛

  532. LASB says:

    ESB – No. Back then, it wasn’t trendy to have slant eyes. It’s actually where I learned how to be a happy loner. Now though, the plaid skirt gets me a lot of attention and action, should I want it. haha. :)

  533. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    ESB – anyone who makes you feel bad for something that they are ‘judging’ is NOT your friend at all. But I do understand – as most of my family are very judgmental as well.

    LASB – my addy is spicensugar2009. I am at hotmail :)

    Hi Dreamin :)

  534. LASB says:

    I’ll add that Francis Crick spent 10 years figuring out the code of life, DNA, which he won the Nobel Prize for. Then he spent 50+ years trying to figure out consciousness, eventually dying of old age before coming across a satisfactory answer.

  535. ESB says:

    LASB: I bet you were evey boys dream in that Catholic outfit!! OH my, I can just see you rocking those knee highs and plaid skirt!! 😉

  536. LASB says:

    Taz – Oh yeah, I did the whole Catholic thing too as a kid. Uniform and all. lol.

  537. CA Dreamin SB says:

    SanDiego – just consider the rude/lewd emails a right of passage here on SA – we’ve all had them :)

  538. ESB says:

    If they knew I was on this sight, they would totally disown me!! :(

  539. ESB says:

    If my Baptist friends knew I was accepting other “truths” they would never speak to me again! lol

  540. LASB says:

    Taz – feel free to get my email from ESB if you want to talk shop. Sounds like the 3 of us have come to pretty similar conclusions.

  541. LASB says:

    ESB – I’ve been where you are. You are going to start to see that Christianity holds many truths, but there is more to the story. My early years were spent seeking truth in religion. I shifted to science, but then even that couldn’t tell me everything. (On some level, I can sympathize with Francis Crick’s journey. Wikipedia it, if you don’t know.) Now, the answers have come from places that I had never even considered looking.

  542. SanDiego sb says:

    no im not offended at all i love getting everyones feed back, when men say things to me IRL it doesnt phase me, but for some reason is does on here, but i know i’ll build up a thick skin for all of it, its just going to take some time :)

  543. ESB says:

    I will check it out and get back to you! Would be an interseting conversation, I’m sure!!

  544. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    ESB – have fun with that lol. I was brought up Catholic (eeeek!) and have been seeking my own truths for many years now…let me know what you think of it! :) You have my addy – I am sure this is not blog topic material 😉

  545. ESB says:

    interesting… being emersed in the Christian religion/faith, I had some problems with “the Secret” but am “drifting” further and further from my roots, and am accepting more and more possiblities of what is “truth”. Im making up my mind of what to accept and discard from the stream of
    “knowledge” out there.

  546. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    That would be the basic premise LASB. However, it talks a lot about our perception of time, and other stuff of course…

  547. LASB says:

    *and the mood is affected BY and affects everything around it.

  548. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    PS – you can watch it in a bunch of ten min segments on youtube – don’t get it confused with the one that says “down the rabbit hole”…that one is yet a bit more in depth loll..

  549. LASB says:

    ESB – From what I understand, the premise is that everything has a “mood,” even water molecules. And the mood is affected and affects everything around it. Maybe a more concrete example showing the principles of The Secret. Another thing I’ll add is that the secret is common knowledge in the business world. When I read business books and then read new age books, they are all saying the same thing. They just use a different language.

  550. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    ESB – more in depth than the secret. Was a bit of a mind f*$# for me 😛 My wonderful pot SD introduced me to it! Worth the watch..of course..take from it what is truthful to you :) I will say since I watched it a few weeks ago my life has changed sooo much for the better! :)

  551. ESB says:

    LASB: about 7 years ago, I went on a trip all by myself. Went to Key West. Just needed to get away. I did meet some people while there, got treated to a whole sugar experience, (I was addopted by this adorable older couple who could NOT believe I was there by myself!) and am still in touch with these people today. It was wonderful… but went through so much since then. I totally forgot about that until just now. I need to get in touch with who I was back then, and start doing that again. I soo need to get out more often, but am also in the same position as cleo. I have bills to pay, and can’t afford to be living the life when the phone bill is past due!

  552. LASB says:

    Taz – I’ve been meaning to watch that one. I think there are many concepts that modern science hasn’t sorted out, but that shouldn’t be discounted. (I’m saying that as a recovering molecular geneticist.)

  553. LASB says:

    SanDiego sb – Wow, you sound like such a newbie. I remember when I was still getting disgusted. Now I’m all hard and jaded and such requests don’t even phase me. LOL! (sorry, I hope you don’t mind me poking fun while being self deprecating.)

    because i feel like some other girls actually have given in to what the men have said and now thats what they want from every sb.
    I used to have a similar issue/thought poisoning my mind. I started thinking, “wow, I must be THAT undesirable, that this guy who is so amazing and offers so much on his profile, only wants to use me as a piece of meat.” Yes, sometimes there are holes in my otherwise healthy self-esteem. Fortunately, I stopped being plagued by that sort of nonsensical thought pattern after joining the blog.

  554. ESB says:

    TT: No, what was that one about?

  555. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Just chiming in – for anyone who DID enjoy the secret – has anyone watched What the Bleep! Do We Know?? :)

    Trying to keep caught up lmao – I WILL be back later 😛

  556. LASB says:

    ESB – Yes, I’ve read the Secret and I practice all that so-called new agey stuff. It’s changed my life. It actually makes sense to me on a biological level, but that’s another huge discussion.

    Actually, my recent trip to NYC had more to do with those concepts than anything else. I was feeling bogged down by some less than zesty life events, and wanted to change my vibration/outlook/energy/path. I have to say, it helped and things are surely shifting in my favor.

    In terms of approaching people, flattery typically works and so does a good joke or even being sassy. Sometimes, it’s even as simple as a “hello, is this seat taken?” You can tell by their immediate reaction whether to fully open the conversation or not. In LA where women can be quite cold, a friendly hello is usually well received.

  557. ESB says:

    I’m frustrated!! VA re-wrote my profile for me today… just used my words, re-arranged them, made it sound so much better.. anyway, I’m now back to pending… and I have 3 emails I can’t get to!! Man!!

    SanDiego: I think we have all gotten some lude emails, suggesting things that are just beneath us. Just ignore, dont respond. IMHO, not worth responding to. If he doesnt have the maners to treat you (us) like a lady, he isnt’ worth the time to give him a piece of your mind. NEXT!! “Flakes be gone!!”

  558. SanDiego sb says:

    Is it just me or are the sd’s REALLY bold today, ive had some of the most disgusting offers that i think ive ever had since being a sb, its shocking because i feel like some other girls actually have given in to what the men have said and now thats what they want from every sb.

    and what they’re offering in exchange for what they want isnt worth it at all, lets just say i could ask my parents for that amount no questions asked..

    any sugars get men like this often?

  559. LASB says:

    Cleo – Ok, I get that. That’s been a conversation on other blogs, about how much it costs just to be an SB, let alone date w/o the sugar. Volunteering, art openings, and happy hours may work. Happy hour is $3 for a beer, and there’s a wide selection of suits. If you really can’t afford it, get an ice water in a scotch glass and stick a straw in it. No one will know the difference, and really no one cares.

    I’ve had the dutch on coffee dates experience. I have to laugh at that one. Once, it was with a guy who was begging me to be his business partner/invest in his product. Maybe he was trying to show me how fiscally conservative he was. NEXT!!!! lol. On the whole, West Coast guys don’t have the same manners of the East Coast or Southern gentlemen. Luckily, LA is a magnet for people all over the world, so he’s here somewhere.

  560. ESB says:

    LASB: did you read “The Secret”? It says that when you are being positive, positive things happen to you. If you believe that something positive will happen to you, it will. I suggest all you people in a negative mood read that book. I could change your live and maybe make you a happier person. Just a thought!!

    I WISH I could go out by myself and have a great time. I am one of those people who just can’t meet someone and start a conversation. I ineed someone with me, help me get started. My BFF can do that. She goes by herself EVERYWHERE!! Makes friends where ever she goes. I just am not that forward. So wish I could be, but tend to be a bit shy when in a crowd of strangers. I envy you that talent!!

  561. cleo says:

    LASB i hear everything you’re saying but when you’re broke and none of your friends will leave the house you’re a little stuck. i actually can’t pay cover, can’t afford to eat in high end restaurants, can’t buy single concert tickets or pay for movies to go to alone.

    that said, i totally enjoy being alone and going out alone but not when paying for it costs me bill payments… i mean it’s literally a choice between activities and the phone bill at this point.

    i have intentions of finding free things to do where i can enjoy myself but at the same time i don’t expect to find any sugar at free events … especially not in this town, and the men i meet are so cheap they go dutch on the first date (COFFEE SOMETIMES!)

    you can party in toronto but dating here? good luck

  562. LASB says:

    Cleo – I’m your age and I go out solo quite a bit, but if you have to, recruit younger friends. Since you live in Toronto, you should have no problem going out and being social. I’ve partied my a** off in that city.

    I spoke with my NYC friend about how we keep “outliving” our friends and regenerating new ones. He’s 20 years older than me so he’s gone through about 5 generations who eventually enter into nesting and baby-making phases. I’m only on gen 2.5, where the 1st generation is going through divorces and the 2nd is heading down that road. Both claim that they want to switch place with me, but the feeling is not mutual. I have no desire to change diapers, draft prenups, file for divorce, blah blah.

    But really, you don’t need friends to get you out of the house. Just go. Last night, I was eating dinner (yay for restaurant week!!) at the bar and started talking to a random stranger about our mutual concert addictions. Each of us will do shows where we only buy single tickets. He felt insecure about it so I said, “Look buddy, I love taking my friends to the shows, but solo can be great. I don’t flake on myself. I don’t keep myself waiting, I don’t make myself miss the opener because I’m having a bad hair day. I’m really the perfect date.” Cleo, you are a confident woman. Don’t base your ability to have fun on others.

  563. UncommonSB says:

    LASB: Agreed. My point exactly. When I want to have fun and be social, good things happen IRL. I’m getting all dolled up and planning to have a great night!

  564. cleo says:

    LASB it works better if you have friends who are willing to leave the house. most of mine refuse to do anything not at home other than going to a pub.

    in other words, i need to entirely rebuild my social life before i can take your advice. much harder to do when you’re over 35 because most people happen to get kinda housebound then… or make like my sister and have babies.

    it makes it a little harder to do the intense fun thing if you hear what i’m saying. i’m working on finding out when things like the auto show are in toronto but there are stats that in my age group there are in fact 20% more women than men…

  565. LASB says:

    For me it’s not about looking or not looking. What I find is that when I’m out having fun, all the magic just falls into place. When you are having a great time, you attract all sorts of great things. Many of my best contacts, friends, experiences, and opportunities have been the direct result of partying. (Partying is a loose term I use for enjoying myself socially, often involving various levels of (drug-free) debauchery at actual parties, but not always.)

    So ladies, spend some time offline, building your social lives. Go out and socialize not just with the intent of meeting people, but with the intent of having some intense fun. Trust me, it works! :)

  566. cleo says:

    NJLady: i’ve heard that saying, ask me about my four years of celibacy when i ‘wasn’t looking and it was just going to happen magically…’

  567. Allll L says:

    How do you manage your sugar selection process? – Taylor

    email received: look at the picture, read the profile (make sure there’s not negatives-don’t,no etc.), annual income and what they are offering. If I find it genuine, I reply to find out what we are expecting and willing to offer. Next, meet up to find out if there’s chemistry and other preferences.
    email sent: look at picture, tag, annual income and what they are offering, read profile, will only write if something in the profile gets my attention.

    What is a simple way to agree on a location and/or activity for the 1st meet?

    They usually choose. But going to a place where we both like is what I’d expect.

    Have you ever had (or turned down) an arrangement that was too complicated?

    Yes, when I find it unreasonable.

    Any sugar news to report?

    Yes…There are more SBs than SDs.

  568. NJLady says:

    Kiki- Thank you. I signed up for that reason also. All I do is go to school and study. Think I need to work on “me” for a while. I’m going to do like some of the other Sugar’s and simply take a break. Continue blogging, otherwise, just relax. What’s the saying? “When you stop looking is when you find someone.”

  569. cleo says:

    AM: incidentally you can give yourself the heimlich by basically ramming your belly into the knob of a chair or whatever…

  570. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    ESB – I’m sure you will rock it IRL! I agree this takes more time and perserverance than we really ever imagined! At least IRL, you can get a vibe right away before you accept a date and bail if any red flags pop up. These blind sugar dates can wear on anyone’s psyche.

  571. Kiki says:

    hey, i’m just heading out but i wanted to add my two cents:

    NJLady — i feel you! i’m kind of in the same boat, job/career-wise … and i have so many friends travelling and working internationally while i’m still living in uni-town. i signed up for SA b/c i thought it would be nice to have some adventure in my otherwise blah life – and i hope that SA brings you the same 😀 your answers will come soon enough…

    also — we could definitely use some “head and shoulders” when it comes to some of the flakies on here….. wink

  572. UncommonSB says:

    LASB: My experience is that IRL, almost all guys are gift daddies in a way. No, they may not all buy expensive jewelry and couture items, but they buy flowers, nice dinners, interesting entertainment, sometimes trips, etc. I don’t see a point in putting myself through the aggravation of the online idiots for something easily obtained IRL. A fantasy, yes, that’s what the sugar world is for me.

    I have the fantasy of flying off to another state a couple times per month for a few days, having a handsome older man to explore things in and out of the bedroom, teach me all about wine, occasionally enjoy exciting luxury travel, all while not having to worry about how to pay my mortgage when I’m gone. At the same time, I’m in my prime and can afford to pay bills without an sd, so I really don’t need the BS and games when the fantasy starts to feel like a nightmare.

    MMD: It really seems like it has worked out for many, and I’m genuinely happy for you and hopeful for everyone. There are some very good sd’s out there, but for whatever reason, I haven’t had much fun trying to find one. I still believe in the possibility, and I am certain that most will find sugar if they perservere. Lemme tell ya, I’m a size 0 and very young looking early 30’s, and I realize that those things make little difference here even though they do give me an advantage IRL. It’s the ever elusive chemistry we all seek that makes sugar happen, which requires a ton of patience and a touch of luck. Just alot of drama along the way, which leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. There’s alot of nonsense and compromise involved for sb’s competing for the limited number of real sd’s, neither of which am I equipped to handle well for very long.

  573. LASB says:

    NYC SB – Oh, that black card is like a key to the castle of adventure! :) When I see a man whip it out, I know they are fun, fun, fun!

  574. cleo says:

    uncommonsb? i totally give up on sugar dating in my town.. i’ll still log in but just to keep me in the recent logins. otherwise i’m over it. i can get treated like shit without having to do this much work.

    in a while i might fix my profile and try again but i needs me a break

    that said, me likey the blog and i’m totally staying here

  575. NYC SB says:

    Midwest – He does not have an assistant… but he does have “people” in form of his black amex … he figures out what he wants to do calls them and they make reservations etc… whatever it is i am loving it 😀

    Going to put my a game tonight… little LBD and louboutins … even though its frigid outside

  576. SanDiego sb says:

    ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ok. that actually helps me alot hahaha

  577. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Sandiego – IRL = in real life. I think SWF = single, white female.

  578. SanDiego sb says:

    whats IRL, and i keep ready on mens profiles SWF . what does it meannnn? lol

  579. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    NYC SB – Awesome! If he has made all these suggestions, he is definitely putting on his A-game (or he has a very smart assistant :-) )

  580. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    UncommonSB – You know what is best for you. Best of luck with the IRL sds. There are a few sbs who have met men IRL and how to adress becoming their sb instead of their gf. I’ve had a great experience here, but I do realize it can be the exception. I thought I would have such a difficult time because I was not a 20-something, size 0, worldly sb. You never know how it will work out.

  581. LASB says:

    UncommonSB – You pretty much summed up my experience thus far. Now that I’m more in a position to IRL date, I’m probably going to start shifting gears too. I still like the fantasy of the sugar world and I still love being on the hunt, but I’m definitely open to more options including gift daddies and hot guy discounts. haha.

  582. SanDiego sb says:

    im suppperrrr jealous of the brooklyn photography and rock and roll exibit

  583. NYC SB says:

    Midwest – yes i am smitten… all signs point he is as well but you never know

    Some of our great activities have been:

    Cocktail Class
    Broadway Show
    Brooklyn photography and rock and roll exibit
    All sorts of amazing dining EXPERIENCES
    He has introduced me to some of his trader friends bc of my love for trading
    The upcoming concert

    He just chooses such great places for us to hang out… it shows that he cares (or that he has great taste)


  584. LASB says:

    Midwest – Love it!

  585. UncommonSB says:

    Hope everyone’s having a good weekend!

    I am officially taking a break from searching, but I’ll still follow the blog. Almost everyone has been such a joy interact with and I love the stories! I’ll leave my profile up, but I won’t be actively looking at all. I’m starting to feel like my odds (being young, in shape, and pretty) are much higher for finding an sd IRL if I choose to look, instead of in this meat market where the tables are turned. There are two guys IRL who may have sd potential in time, but are very handsome, moderately successful and good options for a “light” relationship irregardless.

    I’m boring of the search and pretty underwhelmed with the pots I’ve met, so it’s definitely time to do some regular dating and have fun now. That’s what the sugar world represented to me…. sounded like “fun” in my head anyway. Thus far I’ve received countless perverse emails, had a few poofs, and met some pots who were all pretty darn far from what I seek. Not exactly my idea of fun, whereas IRL I can enjoy being pursued, romanced and treated with respect from the get-go.

    How was I to know that sugar dating could feel like more drama, with more classless men, and be more time intensive than dating IRL! Silly me. Yes, I suppose it is worth the effort for those who find something great, but dating IRL is SO much easier and more positive for both my self esteem and social life :)

    Good luck to everyone!

  586. SanDiego sb says:

    thank you lasb and midwest M!!

    but you had it right midwest… flakes AND fakes be gone lol

  587. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Flakes be gone!! Flakes be gone!!! Fakes be gone!!! Oops..type-O , but appropriate!

  588. LASB says:

    SanDiego sb – Who knows? Could be all sorts of reasons, but like the rest of us ounds like you need to chant the new mantra.

    Everyone all together now – “flakes be gone.”

  589. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Sandiego SB – My initial thoughts are that he’s exploring all his options. Be patient, stay confident and send a friendly reminder if you haven’t heard back in a reasonable amount of time. When I was searching, the blog gents suggested waiting 3-4 days, then sending another e-mail. Remember that I wrote my SD first…a month passed without hearing anything back…sent a second e-mail…he wrote back immediately and we were in an arrangement a week later. There is no finite pattern…unfortunately :-)

  590. SanDiego sb says:

    hey sugars!

    something that has comeup that i just realized annoys me (actually i didnt just realize, more like it annoys me, so im going to share it lol)

    your emailing back and forth with a pot and everythings fine…then he doesnt read any of the messages you’ve sent, but hes been online back and forth for two days since the emails were exchanged,

    did his email get backed up with that many sugars that he hasnt even gotten to mine yet?

    what does everyone think?

  591. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    I had one who cancelled a few dates, but was always profusely sorry and would swear we would meet. We never did. His cancellations were always for outrageous, yet believable reasons, so I let it go. However, I did not let it get the better of me.

    I’ve also had a few poofs. As LASB said, it didn’t really matter. Dating can be much the same way.

    *Chanting “Flakes, be gone” *

  592. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Taylor – I do understand, but don’t spend too much time on it and DON’T take it personally. Sometimes you have to ask yourself if he’s worried enough to let you know either he’s not interested or he’s in the hospital. You also have to consider that he may not have disclosed everything…family, business, etc. Whatever it is, does it matter? Do you want to be with an SD who doesn’t have the courtesy to stay in touch?

  593. LASB says:

    Poofers – That may be the great mystery of modern times (or at least this blog, haha) so don’t let it get you down. Who knows whether it’s cold feet or the competition, or something you said/did, fate, karma, or something that we just have no idea about. But really, there are other fish in the sea.

    I have a great poof story to tell. I met a sexy banker (tall, no body fat, non sugar) who was pouring it on thick. Since I’m on a sugar hunt and not trying to get another SBF I resisted his advances, as hard as it was. (pun not intended, but read what you will!)

    I was unintentionally giving him the rigamarole that NYGent hates. He’d text me to come meet him at a restaurant, and I’d already be at a different one so he’d drop everything and come meet me. He’d have me meet him at a bar with a drink waiting for me, but it would be something I don’t drink. The more these things happened, the harder he’d try and the more interested he’d get, telling me all sorts of ridiculous things like how we’d be perfect together, he sees us with this future together, etc.

    Anyhow, we end up in the same city while traveling separately and he’s blowing up my cell with texts, etc. My overinflated ego finally succumbs, agreeing to meet him at his hotel (sorry if that’s TMI) after I’m done partying with my friends. Anyhow, an hour later, he texts me back and says he drank too much and can’t see me and that he’s sorry and embarrassed. I never again hear from the guy.

    Do I have any idea why he poofed? maybe. Do I care? no. Flakes, be gone!

  594. Taylor says:

    Hey I was completely silent for a week. And before that only responded when he reached out. Now I’m simply worried. OH well.

  595. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Taylor – I know this guy made a great impression on you, but it can send a red flag to a guy when you e-mail, view his profile repeatedly, call his cell phone, call his work phone. Sorry dear, but it has stalker written all over. I know you liked him and are a bit impatient, but you must use some self-discipline in this arena. You must find ways to pre-occupy yourself while always working new leads. If you are not getting the results you hoped for, what do YOU think could be an effective change? Do you need to update/modify your profile? Rotate your pictures? Contact new potentials you find interesting? Get away from it and enjoy some time with friends or people watching. Step back, re-evaluate and try again. They say you can’t change the outcome if you don’t change the behaviors.

  596. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Happy Day Sugars!

    SugarB – Yes, I have! Hang in there and be very careful about how you present yourself. I’ve learned that the way you write you profile can weed out some of the time-wasters. Screening well will hopefully increase the quality of people you meet. Hang in there! As NYC SB said..just keep swimming!

    NYC SD – Awwwww….so nice. You two are soooooo smitten! Share the activity dates. I remember one being a mixology class, Feb 24 a concert…any other great ideas?

  597. LASB says:

    NYC SB – You rock! Have fun at the show! I love the line “that made my ice cold heart go ‘aww.'” I know what a “shark” you are, but not one without feelings or the ability to melt. :)

  598. cleo says:

    SugrB i have not, others have

  599. NYC SB says:

    SugrB – yes I have met many awesome men on here… but there are flakes as well… its just part of the course

    “just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming”

  600. NYC SB says:

    Hiya all…

    Still on a sugar high from last night… had an amazing time with NYC SD… I am meeting him tonight for his friends going away party… really excited… that would make us seeing each other 3 times this week…

    He has made a date for Feb 24th… (right it is a month away) he has purchased tickets for a super amazing concert… and today I came to the realization that him and i have been “together” for almost 2 months now!

    Without solicitation he told me that the email he created for the site has been filling up but he is not meeting anyone else at this time… that made my ice cold heart go “aww”

    Our dates are such awesome “activity” dates and its amazing… so LASB you are right … night activity dates make this experience so much better

    “Hot guy discount” – yeah he got one… but then again I was considering dating him sans sugar anyways… so maybe I got “smart girl premium” from him

  601. NJLady says:

    SugrB- In one word….NO! I keep looking through who’s on line, newest members, who’s viewed my profile…..Nothing! Maybe it’s me.

  602. VA SB says:

    Sigh…yeah…it is, but if it was easy it wouldn’t be so rewarding, right?

    I’m keeping my chin up though. It will work out, I know it will. :-)

  603. SugrB says:

    Has anyone found anything on this website?
    I’ve only found perverts that want to waste my time.
    Really, has anyone met anyone worthwhile here?

  604. Taylor says:

    And VA SB, I know what you mean. SO rude to poof after several-times-per-day communication for a week. Just say, “It’s been lovely talking to you but I’m moving forward with someone else. Good luck.” Manners.

    Brutal sugar world out there…

  605. Taylor says:

    Damn it. Damn it!

    the pot SD that I have been smitten with the start of the month, has been incommunicado for 7 days now. One week, ladies. Nothing. Didn’t write back to that ancient email and now finally last night I wrote him one more to ask if he’s alright, because last I heard from him, he was suffering a horrible chest cold that wasn’t responding to antibiotics. I had visions of him going into the hospital with pnemonia or something. I emailed a one liner just telling him I hope he’s healing and with not hearing from him and all, i had had these worst-case-scenarios in my head and was concerned. No response. I called both of his phone numbers today since 18 hours had passed and no email back. No answers on his phone. Weird, no? I actually am worried about him, as it’s been more than 48 hours since he’s logged into his SA account as well, which is un-precedented for the entire month of January. Hmmmm…. hope he’s ok. Miss him, too, but am working hard on shutting off my heart in his direction due to lack of follow-through-edness on his part, obviously. a.k.a. ‘poof’ing.

  606. VA SB says:

    Hey ESB! You’re right, I was reading and catching up…..WOW, I missed a lot of conversation. This is a really busy group.

    So, I’ve now experienced my first “poof” SDs…it was really disappointing because they were both very very nice and things were going along really well. So, out of the three I was talking to, two of them poofed, one I am meeting next week. I have another potential, but we’re still at the talking phase, so we’ll see how that goes.

    I think it’s really rude to Poof after you’ve been talking with someone…they’ve seen my pictures “BEFORE” they write to me, so I don’t “think” that’s it. I’m a fairly intelligent person and work in a professional environment. So, if I say something completely off-base and we’ve been talking multiple times a day for a week, then at least have the courtesy to say “VA SB, when you said you enjoyed red wine and your steak medium-rare, you really disgusted me and unfortunatly, this won’t work”, rather than just disappearing. Something at least….. (Grrrrr!) Okay, so I’m not that upset, but it’s still annoying.

    I read the post that had Flo Rida’s tips on profiles…I’m going to look at mine and maybe update it.

    I was trying to step away from the blog today (it’s really starting to interfere with my basic life activiites! :-) ), but I cant seem to walk away. Maybe I’ll take a break later.


  607. cleo says:

    hi guys

    i miss you! i was so sad when the blog was offline and then i couldn’t be here and now i have SEVEN HUNDRED comments to read

    nyc-22 i’m sorry… i’ve been in that weird shock where you can’t believe later you did things that are totally out of your character…
    nycbella: thanks :) that does dovetail with my understanding of namaste… although flo rida’s is probably relevant to some teachers

  608. NJLady says:

    Afternoon Everyone,

    I still haven’t heard from the pot SD. The next time one ask me about my allowance, up front, I’m going to ask if could first meet to see if there is chemistry, first, then if there is, meet and discuss the allowance. When I asked him also, to elaborate about, and this how he wrote it, likes……dislikes. I simple mention to him that I wanted to make sure we were on the same page. If he meant “sex” then what he wrote was misleading. He said he was looking for a mature women. All I wanted to know what he meant. I like and dislike alot of things. I can’t second guess anymore. I do enough of that at school.
    I suppose I fill a little bumb out. I had a friend of mine take some pictures of me yesterday. Come to find out he got married. Not that I wanted to marry him. We’ve been friends for a few years. We exactly met while performing in a play and did a couple of film projects together. I have to say, he’s a good male friend. He’s helped me with personal problems also helping me out with acting and modeling. He’s one of those special people that will help you out unconditionally. Just one of the good guy’s. It’s not only the fact that’s he’s married that has anything to do with it. He showed me his acting reel and last year he was on a episode of the Good Wife. Another friend of mine is going places with her career. I just feel I’m going no where. I see everyone around moving forward to pursue their goals and dreams and I have absolutely no idea where I want to go. My dream was to become an actress, I’ve given that up to become a medical assistance and I’m not even sure that is what I’m suppose to do. I thought I would married with children by now.
    Sorry, I needed someone to vent to and all of you just happened to be around.

    TXSB- I’ve looked at others also. But let you tell you this. I was a couple of different sites last year. Lets see, had a, I forget the techincal term for it, but who likes to dress up as a women and well imagine the rest for yourself. lol. It’s cool.

    Again sugar’s sorry to vent like that.

  609. LASB says:

    ESB – Actually, the SBF (sometimes boyfriend) situation isn’t actually that bad, I’m just being a picky b****. haha. It’s a time issue, not a budget one. He’s a beach guy and I’m a city girl. He lives an hour away due to the lack of freeway off ramps near his place. I live close to 6 major freeways and 3 metro lines and am a creature of convenience. In the spirit of full disclosure, the 6 weeks wait time is mostly a result of my travel schedule and his football/sports addiction not aligning well.

    LA is a city of geographical discrimination/borders/culture/snobbery. The 90’s movie, Swingers, pokes fun at the ridiculousness that is LA culture and is pretty accurate. One of the characters gets a phone number from a girl, and then the guys all bash him b/c it doesn’t have the desired area code.

    Taylor – Actually, no one will nag me about hanging out with their baby. LOL!

  610. ESB says:

    VA: I know you are lurking, and catching up. I need to eat something, thanks to DC… wish I could eat like her!! I’ll be back later. Have fun.

    Everyone else, TTYL HUGS!!

  611. Taylor says:

    I know what you mean! daytime things are ok, but I just…. prefer going out and having some excitement and romance at NIGHT. The nifty events happen then, you’re right.

    plus single guys won’t nag to you about hanging out with their baby. Will they?

  612. ESB says:

    LASB: My last BF wasn’t geographically desirable either. He lived 2400 miles from me, and thought he did fly me to see him once, it just wasn’t in his budget to do so again… or so he says. Hard to keep something going from so far away.

  613. LASB says:

    Taylor and SBnxtdoor – I don’t know what you’re talking about. I keep attracting the married guys. I’m quickly learning why they are not compatible with me.
    1. They want afternoon visits (not always sexual) and I’m an events junkie. Most events take place at night and on weekends.
    2. Too many lies floating around and I have a tough time keeping up with all the games it takes to protect lies.

    Tonight I am going to see the sometimes-boyfriend. We go on a date once every 6 weeks or so. He’s hot, fun, and smart, but not geographically desirable.

  614. Taylor says:

    *crickets chirping*

  615. Taylor says:

    I know what you mean, SBnxtdoor! Where were they, indeed? It’s almost like as soon as the guys feel no pressure about marriage, commitment, etc, then they are free to finally let their emotions free and they end up entangled and way way ‘into’ a girl and wanting more than just fun. Sort of like with women, who if a guy is a lecherous and sleazy and visibly sex-minded, we are 99.99% NOT likely to ever sleep with him, but if we feel respected, and like sex is absolutely not expected, we can loosen up and relax and sex is very much a potential outcome from that starting point.

    Are NSA arrangements the new wave of how to get the opposite sex to loosen up, relax, and then potentially/theoretically allow the correct frame of mind and feelings to happen for a traditional and lasting relationship? Food for thought. (and no, it doesn’t apply to married pots!)

  616. ESB says:

    I was on another sight, I didn’t have any pictures on, so it was kinda nice getting to know each other by personality. When I got really comfortable with this one guy, I asked if he wanted to exchange pictures, I wanted to see who I was talking to. I sent him mine, through email, but never got one from him. He kept putting me off. He was my age, lived fairly close, I was to the point I wanted to meet him. I finally pushed it, and he said “I’ve enjoyed talking to you more than you could ever know. You are amazing, but this just isn’t going to work. You are way out of my league, and I know when you see me, you will want to never speak to me again” and that was the last I heard from him. Hmm.. was he really that ugly, married maybe? younger/older than he claimed to be? I will never know. Now, I insist on pix upfront.

    I’m not really looking for “the one”, just someone I can have fun with, relax with, enjoy time with. Hopefully have awesome sex with! 😉

  617. SBnxtdoor says:

    I’m not irritated. It just floors me. Where were these guys when I was on Match.com? Two, years ago, I paid a matchmaker $1,500 to set me up with a handsome, sucessful, commitment-minded man and I went on two dates, one with socially awkward lawyer and the other, a newly unemployed Chinese Chemist. Now, here I am. I know that I am not a “gold digger.” I’m doing this to become more secure and independent, which will really help me when I am ready to resume the search for a mate. I joined the site thinking that this is the one time in my life that I could relax, have a good time, and not pressure myself with finding “the one”

  618. ESB says:

    I heard something on the raidio this morning about a rating system that guys have for girls, and girls have for guys: A girl’s initial rating is on his looks. If he is a 6 on looks, but a 10 on personality, he gets an 8. The more enduring he becomes, the higher his rating becomes. IF he is a pig, his rating goes low FAST and he has no chance.

    On the other end, if a guy sees a girl who’s looks are a 10, but personality is a 1 or 2, she is an 8, because guys are more visual when it comes to the opposit sex. BUT the more he is around the 10 in looks, the more her 2 personality takes from that, and she slowly (in most cases) becomes a less and less desirable, and becomes a 2 herself. Sometimes looks just can not over come personality flaws. I thought that was in interesting, but accurate description.

  619. LASB says:

    ESB – I’m in somewhat of a similar situation, where I’m open to a BF who didn’t cramp my style. Lightening my load would be ideal right now, but as it’s already getting lighter on it’s own, I may soon find myself where I don’t actually need an SD. That being said, I still like the thought of having one.

  620. LASB says:

    NYGent – There is totally a “hot girl premium.” Not saying that everyone views things this way, but some pot SDs have told me outright, that allowances are based on how sexy the SB is. As I recall, don’t you have some sort of “doe eyed premium?” 😉

  621. ESB says:

    Im not oposed to having a BF, I’m ready to be in a relationship again, but right now, I’m looking for some sugar to lighten my load. I’m giving serious thought to going back to school, becoming a nurse. If I do that, I can go anywhere once the kids are done with HS. Nursing jobs are EVERYWHERE!! and the pay is good. But how to support myself and Baby Girl while going to school full time? Oh sugar daddy, where are though?? 😉

  622. Taylor says:

    TT, I hope you guys meet up soon. It sounds like it could be a fairytale sugar romance in the making…

  623. TXSB says:

    SBnxtDoor & ESB:
    Totally agreed. I’ve had several “SDs” tell me how they want me as a girlfriend b/c they liked me so much after meeting me….I actually get irritated by it now.

  624. Taylor says:

    So, I am talking with a couple of new SA pots SDs. They are overseas. One just called me up and talked with me for a long time about this & that ……and certainly about what we are searching for from SA and how we would like to go about bridging the long distance to meet one another. His suggestion is to fly me to a spot in between us, NYC, and put me up in a suite for a few days, so I could not only meet up with him, for dinner, to start with (with the option of continuing to spend more time together for other activities during my time in NY if things are going really well) but I could also arrange to see my friends in the Northeast at that time (whoever is free to come see me–I have college friends in Montreal, Boston, Connecticut, etc etc etc) which would be a treat for me, regardless. I like this idea! I hope it happens.

    The other one is in Miami, and although he loves the idea of two girls, my friend wasn’t his type. He’s very realistic about ‘friends first, no expectations for more, until after an initial meet.’ BUT, he is cool with me just bringing a beautiful platonic girlfriend to keep me company on the super long trip to Miami, someone who would love to go out and paint the town red, along with us, for a fun evening out. I love the idea of having a travelmate and I’d feel safer as well.

    I sure hope I end up hitting the east coast on one end or another, soon! The only flights from Helsinki to the US are indeed to NYC or Miami, so they make sense for me if I want to keep things as painless as possible, travel-wise.

    I have dinner in nicest-restaurant-in-town next Tuesday with one potential local pot I’ve spoken with at length with on the phone who so far has not hit any of my ‘red flag’ buttons, and seems to check out. Let’s see. And a couple of other local pots I have emailed with but no solid plans to meet, but with the idea that it’ll be next week.

    Local married pot still is obsessing about me bonding with his infant daughter and getting more and more in love with me. Sigh.

    Two pot SDs I lunched/coffee’d with yesterday and day before are leaving me shuddering at their memory (of meetings and emails/texts) and I hope I never hear from either again.

    Can you believe I keep all this organized just in my head?

  625. NYGent says:

    LASB: lol (“hot guy discount”).

    I wonder what the converse is — “hot girl premium?”!

  626. ESB says:

    I was talking to a pot a few weeks ago who was TOTALLY hot. His net workth was 10 – 20MM, but he was only willing to have an allowance of $1- 3. ??? That seemed kinds weird to me. I think he was looking for a girl friend, not a SB, and he wanted me to “come up and spend the night with me so we can see if things work between us.” He has deleted himself from the sight. No, I didn’t go for the test drive, never spoken to him other than a few emails. I really do thing about 75% of the guys on here are loooking for an easy piece, since they think 90% of the women on here are desperate for $$. We all need to start thinking more with our heads, less with our hearts and empty purses. Me included!!

  627. SBnxtdoor says:

    The potSD that I said knew all my business colleagues, e-mailed me to say that he really is looking for a girlfriend and that women on the site four years ago were looking for a LTR without financial help. He said it would be difficult for him to reconcile in his mind how we met if our affections grew. Well, I suppose he needs to be on a traditional dating site. He said that he put in a good word for me with one of my referral sources and gave me a laundry list of compliments. I wrote him back to say that I understood his position and asked if he would kindly keep my sugar search a secret from our acquaintances because of the taboo. One of my other potSD’s is going to do a barter with me. I may be developing a crush on him, though. I am starting to feel less confident about asking for the allowance, but the first couple of SD’s that I met had NO problem with it whatsoever. Some guys have an entirely different view of what being a sugar daddy truly is.

  628. Taylor says:

    Yeah, someone with max 2k to spend, in total, on all things sugar…. not a lot if you live in LA, I would imagine. Fine for some, but it’s cool you know what exactly you are looking for.

  629. ESB says:

    TT: Good Morning Sugar!! Are you staying, or just going to post and run?

  630. NYCBella says:

    Hey, Taz…long time no post! :)

    Ok, I’m gonna try to pay attention to this film…(of course I’ll still be lurking as best I can)…

  631. LASB says:

    Taylor – I didn’t try to renegotiate because he said the absolute max he could afford was 2k. There is a “hot guy discount” that I’m willing to give, and actually, I’d be happy with a gift daddy if we were super compatible, but he didn’t qualify.

  632. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Happy Weekend Sugars!!

    Just running through – ‘trying’ to keep up with all of you lol. Hopefully tonight I will have more time to read and comment!

    Yes, my head is still in the clouds and no pot sd and I have not met 😛


  633. NYCBella says:

    LASB~Yes, i’ve turned down guys if the allowance wasn’t enough. Even if I find them attractive and like what they have to say in their email, when I check on the profile and it says 1-3K, I go ahead and turn them down. Figure it’s easier than letting it go any further. Especially if someone wants exclusivity. That’s one point I find that a guy won’t waiver on once he’s set his mind to something. Plus why would he have to if he’s already getting the goods for a lower rate? And just remember, I was happily going to take the option off the table for mr. cutie, because he was cute…turns out there’s a reason he wouldn’t want to pay up…as he’s getting to test drive all sorts of willing pots. Thank goodness for NYCSB already being in the know about that one. 😉

  634. Taylor says:

    I haven’t gotten to that stage of negotiations, but why not try to negotiate NOW with him before sending him back into the field?

  635. TXSB says:

    Hi! BTW, I 2nd you on the having good friends who can help… :)

    Yes, if I don’t feel the allowance is “fair”, then I say “no”. 2K/month to meet 1x/wk, so he’s giving you $500 per meet. If he sees you more than 1x/wk, then that’s less than $500 per meet. I wouldn’t agree to this “offer” either.

  636. NYCBella says:

    ESB~I totally agree. Thats why I like NSA, MBAs. Why I get irked is that I get message after message from several different pots of “I really want to see you again, please let me have a raincheck, etc…” That’s fine if they’re going to see other pots or are away on business, or are just busy, but I hate someone thinking that they can just put me on hold and expect me to sit on the shelf waiting. So, I say “NEXT!” Did I mention I still haven’t learned that thing called patience? 😉 (Although, I’ve been patient, but now its approaching the 2 week mark; and well, there’s just too many other fish in the sea.)

  637. LASB says:

    Good morning everyone.
    Sugar news – I was talking to a pot from another site, but he wanted to meet 1-2 a week, with an allowance of 1500-2000/month. Anyone turn down guys simply because the allowance is too small? If the guy is hot enough, do you play it out for a while and try to renegotiate? Do you get additional SDs to supplement? I am only looking for one, so I amicably and gently threw him back into the pond.

  638. NYCBella says:

    ESB~Ah…that’s right. You can let us know if the bowling alley would be a good shoot location for our video. lol. Hey. Atleast the girls are talking. Esp at that age, so much better to face a little embarrassment by how much they know than face true shock if you find out after the fact. It’s so stereotypical, but all the women in my family and even my gfs…we all hang out in the kitchen when we get together. Guess millions of years of evolution are hard to shake.

  639. ESB says:

    TXSB: Hey girl! Good morning to you!! you are right, being reliable is key in any relationship.

  640. ESB says:

    Bella, I have been cheated on too. Makes me a bit cynical also. I try not to be, so I think that is why sugar dating is right for me. No real commitment, so if he strays, and is still giving me some sugar, I won’t complain. It’s an arrangement, as long as he stays with me, I’m fine, but from what I’ve been reading, most arrangements don’t last all that long. I was involved with someone for a few years, and would like for an arrangement to last as long, but will take it one day at a time.

    Just loooked out the window… can no longer see any blades of grass poking through the snow. Forcast said only 1 – 2 ” today… hhmmm… not looking so good.

  641. TXSB says:

    Hi Everyone! :) Still catching up on the blog but wanted to post a few comments before I forget them….

    I’ve viewed other SB profiles just out of curiosity….

    Flo Rida:
    As usual, LOVE hearing your wild stories… :)

    Re: Availability and SDs (my 2 cents)
    There are tons more SBs out there compared to SDs. The allowance that most SDs pay, it’s equal to a paycheck for a full time job. When communicating with a pot SD, I’m always very quick to respond. If there are plans to meet or even talk on the phone at a certain time, I always do everything possible to make sure nothing can prevent me from meeting that “expectation”. Thankfully so far, I’ve never had to cancel or delay a date. I would imagine that part of the reason the SD would be willing to fork over thousands of dollars is b/c he knows that I will be available to him when he wants me, and also b/c he knows that I’m reliable.

  642. ESB says:

    Party is tomorrow, at the bowling alley.. read ^^ for the posts on that one. Cracks me up. Today will be giggling 14 YOs, baking, watching movies, playing stupid games on the computer, on the PS3, and me learing all about the behind the scene lives of all the other girls who are not here! Sometimes they tell me TOO much, but I’m glad they feel comfortable enough with me that they feel they can. I have been shocked a few times as to who was doing what at such young ages, but try to keep that to myself. We have fun, keep things light, and to day, I get to teach them teh fine are of cake decorating. Usually we just bake cookies, amazing how much girls talk over food… guess we never grow out of that!!

  643. NYCBella says:

    ESB~Yay! That’s good news. Party is still on!

  644. ESB says:

    IRLSD: Good to see you back. Haven’t seen you in a while.

    Taking a break is probably a good thing for you. Must wear you out the way you go after so many at the same time. You must have amazing stamina! NOT being mean, just stating the facts from past posts from you. I think you are fascinating!! Interesting answers to the questions, too.

    Bella: Chains on my car! NEVER!! lol… I think the vibration from them would tear her apart!!

  645. NYCBella says:

    ESB~No, they aren’t married (assuming they’ve been honest with me); one is divorced and has kids that are in college here in the city, so you may be right, I guess I can just give him the benefit of the doubt. However, he’s been able to check up on here every night since he’s “been away.” I’m not a stalker type, but I have been cheated on numerous times IRL, so I tend to be cynical. And, I give people plenty of space, so there’s not really a reason anyone should feel pressured by me or feel the need not to be open about intentions. Eh, I just find it odd. But some men never grow up, I guess (blog SD’s or lurkers, no offense intended).

    You’re thinking about “August Rush.” It’s such a cute film. But “August” is with Josh Hartnett and is about a dotcom entrepreneur caught up in the market as Sept. 11th approaches. Hope it’s as good as the summary made it out to be. :)

    Taylor~Yay! I used to work at a 3-star restaurant in the city and my French manager (can we say YUMMY! He was alot like the boyfriend in “Unfaithful”) used to sneak up behind me if I was frustrated and whisper that into my ear. Just thinking about it still gives me goose bumps.

  646. IRLSD says:

    73% of sugars polled claim that arrangements appeal to them because of their straight-forward simplicity.

    Lol. Theese must all be newbies. Yes, in theory is is simple and straight-forward.

    How do you manage your sugar selection process? – Taylor

    I search for SBs between the age of 18 and 30 who are slim/athletic, single/divorced, non-smokers, and in my city. Then I look at the pics and if the pics are promising, I read the profile and if there are no red flags, I contact the SB. My profile is hidden so I do all the searching and I prefer it like that because I pretty much have an idea what I am looking for.

    What is a simple way to agree on a location and/or activity for the 1st meet?

    I offer either an evening dinner or an afternoon pastry shop meet. I prefer the latter and I might just stick to that because it involves less time and less risk.

    Have you ever had (or turned down) an arrangement that was too complicated?

    I guess I have ran from arrangements that seemed risky. Having an SB and her BF live in an apartment under my name sounded like trouble, as did Polish SB coming to my workplace every day, so I shied away from these situations.

    Any sugar news to report?

    I’ve gone one week now without seeing any SB. It’s actually been a good thing–my mind feels much more clear, I feel better rested, and I am much happier overall. I’ve also thought a bit about what it is that I am looking for and what specifically made my IRL SB relationship so amazingly perfect, which is why I got on SA in the first place.

  647. ESB says:

    Baby Girls BFF just texted me and said her dad is going to get all the girls (I’m having mine and her 2 best friends here for the night) and bring them to me. He knows my Mustang sucks in this weather, and he has a 4 wheel drive truck. “No worries” he says. It’s good to have friends I can rely on. side note this girls mom and I share the same b-day and fav. auther. How cool is that?

  648. Taylor says:

    Oh, I love that, NYCBella…. “Just keep swimming…..” –now I have Ellen Degeneres’s voice in my head! :)

  649. ESB says:

    NYCBella… are they married, the ones who are busy for the weekend? Could be they are if they don’t say so, or maybe meeting with other pots? OR maybe really ARE busy. Who knows.

    August.. I think I know that movie.. the boy musican, Keri Green is his mom or something like that… some kind of musical prodigy?

  650. NYCBella says:

    ESB, Good luck with your girls bday. Do you have chains you can put on your tires? Or maybe her dad can meet you halfway?

  651. NYCBella says:

    Good morning everybody! I’m here…just fixed some breakfast and about to watch “August.” We aren’t gonna get snow most likely, but it’s about 10 degrees outside….brrrr. I just updated my profile last night based on Flo’s suggestions, so we’ll see how this goes. Especially since last night it would seem that some of Elegant’s textophiles have decided to make me their latest target. Fun, fun! I’d have never thought I’d be annoyed by it as I text alot, till a week ago when I’d gotten used to well-written emails. Still waiting to see if a new pot confirms for tonight. The others are still “away for the weekend on business or whatever.” So, I keep telling myself the classic phrase from Dori of “Finding Nemo.” “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming…” 😉

  652. ESB says:

    Good morning Everyone. Looks like there aren’t many of us here yet, or is everyone just lurking waitinng for the fun to start?

    My work plans were canceled due to the snow. I got 15 miles from home, went to stop at a stop sign, and slid through… sideways!! Thank goodness there was no one coming the other way. I turned around and came home. I called the guy I was working with, and before I could tell him I already did so, he told me to turn around and go home. So, here I sit, wondering how I’m going to get my daughter from her dads so she can spend her b-day with ME!!!

  653. Taylor says:

    How is everyone doing on this fine Saturday??

  654. Anna Molly says:

    Good morning everyone! I hope you all have a great weekend!:)

  655. D D says:

    Good day all!

    It has been a while since I’ve contributed to the blog. I hope everyone here is keeping sweet and well!

    How do you manage your sugar selection process?
    I’ve not been on my SA acct since the turn of the new year, but for my online selection process, I allow most mails to come to me and if I decide to email someone, I scour their profile properly. Is there anything on there that resonates with me? Is there a link that I can find common ground with (be it in their career, their pastimes)? Do they seem well rounded (I don’t want a profile geared ONLY towards sex…while sex rocks, without a connection the pleasure is limited). If someone mails me based solely on my profile pictures, it isn’t the most flattering approach – I like people to connect with my profile. I try to keep it true to myself. Also, I keep track of those who I communicate with. There have also been a few who’ve sent me the SAME email more than once! Ha!

    What is a simple way to agree on a location and/or activity for the 1st meet?
    Set up a meeting during the day if possible. Maybe a nice brasserie on a lazy Sunday afternoon – it won’t be too loud, you’ll see the person for whom they are and you’ll be in a relaxed setting. I’m in a city that’s reasonably easy to get to the centre so it tends to be the place for meeting up. For me, the first meet is to find chemistry in a neutral setting. One can plan fun activities thereafter.

    Have you ever had (or turned down) an arrangement that was too complicated?
    Yes, a few. The most recent was a man who wanted to fly me to Switzerland 2-3x per month for €5K per trip with travel and other expenses on top. The complication lies in the fact that with my other commitments, travelling like this is just not possible (as tempting as the offer sounds).

    Any sugar news to report?
    I’m currently cultivating an arrangement with someone. However, there also happens to be a second gent in the background who is keen on me:-) Both are legit, very successful but they’re very opposite in character and intrigue me for very different reasons. I love a bit of variety, but playing it cool for now.

    I already knew that finding ‘sugar’ would take work, but it takes a little more skill than I originally appreciated. It’s easy to think when you join this site that good men (or women) will fall into your lap. But let’s not forget, the most desirable people on here come with a gameplan and are very choosy. You just have to keep taking bites of the apple, trying out different angles and maintaining patience to find what works. It might take weeks, months or even a year to get that. I’m six months in and finally getting what I want (I have to admit to being picky myself, and for the most part I tend not to rush either). But so far, it seems to have been worth it.

  656. SBnxtdoor says:

    OC won’t you please give 2Chic my info for the LA meet?

  657. 2Chic says:

    OK, I see my info has been tampered with, guessing I went against a rule….
    (sheepish grin)

    So….. For all who are interested in attending the CA meet, please get my info from Stephan or OC.

  658. Kiki says:

    I’m jealous —– HAVE FUN!!!!!

  659. Sbaby says:

    OC, Have an amazing time 😉

  660. Sexy Lexiii says:

    not him should be ppl*

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      NYCBella and NJLady I have sent your email requests out!

      Thank you everyone for allowing me to share your emails instead of posting them. I do my best to keep on top of your requests. If I miss one please just let me know. You guys are the best :)

      I am off for a fabulous day of Skiing and Snowboarding tomorrow and then have a Tee time on Sunday. Only in the great state of California can you do both of my favorite things in one weekend. Hmmm but maybe I am using my spy technique and actually golfing on Saturday and Skiing on Sunday. Bwhaaaa!

      Sweet Sugar’n to Everyone! OC

  661. Sexy Lexiii says:

    omg i just got freaked out by this weirdo on my yahoo,claimed he had jesus’s spirit within him an he can heal him…..and the predictions he made omg……..outrageous

  662. 2Chic says:

    Hi Everyone!
    The Los Angeles (CA) Meet
    If anyone is interested in attending please, let me know and I will get you the details

  663. Taylor says:

    He has the most ‘blah’ personality, ever, anyways. No warmth, no wit, no spark. Nope. Next!!!

  664. NYGent says:

    Taylor: in any event it’s good that you were able to figure out, through this snafu, that you and he weren’t a match. So good things do come from bad . . .

  665. Flo Rida says:

    ESB – everyone says Lambos for short. SD has 11 sports cars (not counting limos) ok switching phone off (kidding) really must dash though

    Taylor – SD said his ex-wife and her two sisters were late for the entire wedding ceremony for their sister! Amazing.

    Really really leaving for the night.

  666. ESB says:

    Snap, just realized what time it is. I gotta work tomorrow. Better get to bed.

    Going to be a BIG day tomorrow. AFter work, I pick up Baby Girl from her dad’s, then her friends. WE come back here to bake and decorate her B-day cake. Her party is Sun… at the local bowling lanes. I am so not kidding!! Yep, her choice. I can no longer bowl, long story, so my son is thrilled that his old mom won’t be beating him this time. (I was pretty good before the accident!)

    She will be 15 on Sun. I gave up so much for her, can’t even tell you, but like she always says “I’m the best mistake you ever made!” Truer words were never spoken.

    Night all… sugar hugs!! <3

  667. Flo Rida says:

    ESB – i’m exaggerating it was over 140mph though which is fastest i’ve driven. Really hilarious as his sister S got a call saying can you pick me up (we were staying at her home in country) and S says ‘why what’s wrong’ and he said ‘nothing just I was pulled over and they impounded and took my car and took my license’. I think it’s a 1 yr suspension.

    Also from above SD would jump in a cab and call driver from cell phone saying ‘you idiot i’m taking a cab home’ alright really must dash.

  668. MoonPatrol says:

    I think being late is as bad as getting separated from your wife or girlfriend in an art museum and having to spend 45 minutes looking for her. By the time you find them I get so mad I don’t know whether to be glad the search is over or yell and blame them for not following me , The king, around!

  669. Taylor says:

    It takes a thirty minute phone call to discuss places to eat, in a small city? I don’t think that was the idea. I’m pretty sure 11:30 was just tossed out as a time to bounce lunch venue ideas off one another because it was the first time slot that happens before the pick-up time that popped into mind. It was surely going to be a five minute or even one minute conversation with us reporting back on what options we had thought of, and choosing on. He’s not a talkative guy. I really can’t see how it needed to happen at 11:30 as nothing else hinged upon that in any way. Besides, I need someone who can roll with a 13 minute delay and not sulk all day afterwards. That will narrow some men out, but it happens, that’s life. I will have flashbacks of my OCD anger-management-class-needing ex-husband by anything other than a pretty lienient, don’t-sweat-the-small-stuff type guy.

  670. ESB says:

    240 in a 65?? OMG!! That is CRAZY!! I wanna do that!! Doubt my car would though. A guy I work with has a Lamborgini (sp?). I just drool everytime he drives it to work.. love the way it “purrsss”.. Sweet ride! Bet it would do 240!! 😉

  671. Flo Rida says:

    ESB – darling you were eloquent I just had crazy stories. I feel sorry for the drivers, one actually quit because SD said whatever happens WAIT I’LL PAY for parking fines and the cops told him to move twice and then said if you don’t move we’ll arrest you and he just left the car. I didn’t have my license and thought i’m driving without a license great. SD comes down and laughs at me, of course he doesn’t have a license as it was suspended for 3 years for driving 240mph in a 65mph zone.

    Also SD has the second highest turnover in admins at his company (partnership).

    And you gals think I live a charmed life. I’m telling you I don’t.

  672. NYGent says:

    Taylor: i agree with ESB and Flo, partly. On the one hand your pot leaving only half an hour before the lunch to “brainstorm” where to go is unorthodox and cutting it too tight. He should have picked the place already. On the other hand, having both agreed that you would have only half an hour beforehand to discuss and decide on a lunch venue, it was incumbent on you to be ready at 11:30 sharp to do so.

  673. NJLady says:

    NYGent- I read the blog with that information. Thank you. I’m going to edited some of it. It’s best to keep them guessing I suppose.

    NYCBella- We’re about 30 mins from each other, give or take. I’m in Hackensack.

  674. Taylor says:

    It was 100% about him having a hissy fit thinking that I had hooked up the night before. That in and of itself is a major red flag I won’t ignore. He’s not able to do NSA. He’s not a millionaire, just a well-off businessman, and he’s never done sugar before. He thought he could, but he can’t. He’s not in a healthy sugar mindset. You weren’t preachy, Flo. No problems.

  675. ESB says:

    Thank you Flo, you said it much better than I. Taylor, what she said! :)

  676. Flo Rida says:

    Taylor – many real SDs are control freaks and ALWAYS get their way in the business world and so you not being immediately available with your A game at 11.30 is a black mark against you in the business world. My SD when he lands from a flight if the chaueffeur is not there waiting for him he’ll get in a cab and yell at the driver on his way home and if this happens twice will fire him. Once we were at an amusement park with kids and the driver couldn’t find us for 20mins (you know how those places are a mess) he offers $300 to a taxi to take 6 of us on a 1 hr drive. We’d already paid the driver before. Just trying to share a SD perspective. Finally there’s no such thing as a perfect SD just perfect shoes (but remember you pay for the shoes, SD is giving financial support to you).

    Sorry if preachy must dash

  677. Taylor says:

    This hasn’t been fun. I’m sorry.

    Flo’s checklist for profile writing is much better. Brilliant part:

    “SD are thinking what will this SB do 4 me – in life as well as the bedroom – r they drama, disease, drug free, do they understand me, will I get along with them, r they fun & balanced, will they follow through. Make sure you answer all these q-s rest is supply-demand.”

  678. Taylor says:

    Oh, and for what it’s worth, he has always before said that his work schedule is quite flexible ‘because he’s the boss’. Suddenly, today, there were tight timetables. Argh.

  679. Taylor says:

    No, my frustration was not directed at you ESB, sorry. I’m just saying, if I was able to stick to the agreed upon ‘lunch at noon’ schedule, then what’s the problem? THe idea to talk on the phone half an hour before so we could brainstorm where in fact we might like to go (we had said the day before that we could look online for some good ideas and then come up with suggestions to bounce off each other), which isn’t the most crucial item in terms of when precisely that phone call happens (it wasn’t to confirm, that was already done).

    Him calling an hour early to try to move the lunch earlier…? If you have a solid 3pm appointment, do you appreciate getting a call at 1:30 from the person, who is interested in changing it and meeting instead at 2 or 2:30? I mean, very short notice to be changing the plans at that point. What if I had been in a dentist appointment from 10:30-11:30 and he was trying to get through to me and blowing up my phone and wanting that noontime lunch to happen earlier? I mean…. too last minute to change things much, if you ask me. I made the mistake in speaking to him at 11:43 instead of 11:30 but it wasn’t like he was standing somewhere in the cold waiting for me to show up for 13 minutes, it was a chit chat phone call that was intended to happen then. And sometimes you’ll be thirteen minutes (stuck in traffic, whatever), and if someone loses their cool completely and starts acting like a tantruming toddler, that’s a dealbreaker, to me.

  680. Flo Rida says:

    NYGent – I also said separately: 1 face shot smiling, 1 full body shot maybe wearing black – standing up – smiling. All in daylight, nice contrast and lighting, no distractions (parrots, dogs, friends). You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression.

    I wrote a profile for a lady in LA (apart from thanks never heard from her again), Ophelia (if she marries her billionaire SD she’ll be the first person from the site i’ll meet-big if I know). Of course there’s the Gemi profile.

    Finally perfect profile says to the one you want to meet ‘yes i’m interested and i’ll contact her’ and to the undesirables – next.

  681. NYGent says:

    Taylor: I think there is a bit of blame on both sides here. The fundamental miscue, though, was his saying he would call at 11:30 a.m. to “discuss” where to have lunch at noon. In my practice I don’t “discuss” where we’re going, I say “let’s have lunch/dinner at X place, if that’s ok with you. I’ll meet you there at noon/8 pm (whatever), and let’s confirm tomorrow a.m. by text/email. 60% of the time the SB will confirm and say great, we’re on. 10% of the time they will confirm and not show. 30% of the time they don’t respond/confirm at all, and it doesn’t happen.

  682. ESB says:

    Taylor, sweety, not trying to get into a pissing match with you. Just telling you ya might want to try to see this from HIS side. He was off and had some blame too, but I hope you can see where you went wrong, and maybe try to be on time next time. In my life, lateness is unforgivable. 11:30 means 11:30!! My schedule from day to day is tight. I schedule in friends and family, I even have to schedule in lunch! If I get off schedule, I don’t eat! Grab a power bar, and move to the next appointment. I always try to see everything from both angels. I’m not the only one at the table in a business deal, and I often re play the whole deal in my head to figure where I went wrong to see if I can determin what NOT to do next time. Just saying, you might want to try that sometime.

  683. Taylor says:

    ESB, I held up my end of the deal. I was ready to speak at 11:30 (well, ok it was 11:43) and more importantly, was ready to be picked up at noon. He wanted to change it to earlier, on very short notice, which didn’t happen, at which point he became pissy. Because he suspected I had hooked up with someone the night before, for whatever reason. I was perfectly ready and willing to stick to the schedule. Because of shitty attitude, I suggesed we meet later on. Then it was a push & pull horribleness of him being very weird about agreeing upon the time and place, super picky and grumpy and not very easygoing about it. I kept insisting that if his day is SO tight, why not wait until after work! I had understood him to have no evening plans. But he didn’t like that because he was having a mini temper tantrum all day worried about my having met someone the night before. Totally unreasonable.

  684. NYCBella says:

    NJ Lady~I know…it’s tough to figure out what’s appropriate (telling too much, not telling enough, etc), which is why I check out other SB’s profiles to see what’s a happy medium. Oh, btw, where in Jersey are you? I just relocated to Jersey City this past July.

    Taylor~He was bit dramatic; but girl, you know you shouldn’t have hit that snooze button. 😉 Of course, better to see his true colors up front, then be sidelined when he flips out a month into it when you don’t text him back immediately. Given the other pots you mentioned, I’d stay with slightly-obsessed married guy. Just think…get your mid-day groove on, then have your nights all to yourself! It could actually be easier to meet someone else if you decide you want to move on rather than having to cancel on an “evening arrangement guy” and make excuses. Could make a future transition easier (just something to think about).

    NY Gent~If it’s ok w/NYC SB, i’ll email you the details.

  685. NYGent says:

    As a public service, and because there are no many newbies, here it is, yet again, the classic Flo Rida piece on profile advice:

    Profiles – to save time:
    Rule1 – don’t say anything negative – no I could lose a few pounds
    Rule2 – Personalize be unique – don’t say you’re fun prove it with a story or your humor. Don’t say I’m a foodie say ‘Do you think Per Se is better than French Laundry’ don’t say I’m well travelled say ‘I’ve travelled to 37 countries & can’t decide if dining at Felix overlooking HK Central or snorkeling at the Great Barrier Reef is my most memorable experience’
    Rule3 – weed out undesirables & also tell people what you want ‘if you are between 30 & 45, emotionally grounded & able to provide mentorship & financial assistance then I’d like to hear from you, I won’t bite (unless biting is what you’re into… kidding!)
    Rule4 – upscale it – show you know their world (of course this only applies if you really do).
    Rule5 – SD will read the tag line & look at the pics & read the profile. but you can lose them on the tag line – examples Boston Barbie – Simply the best – Better than all the rest – A glimpse of bliss. Insert a line on discretion & balance. Keep it short (SD are very busy and have short attention spans – they’ll decide within 1 min to move on).
    Rule6 – Add a line on being 100 percent committed to this & understanding mutually beneficial (with chemistry)
    Rule7 – do not add all your interests – most SD aren’t interested in the same things – they don’t care about pilates or Twilight or being a girly girl. Only add interests that connect with them (generally s-x, sportsm food, business, sports cars, travel).
    SD lists the SB types as Investigators, Arm Candy, Drama Queens. The only acceptabe category is ‘I’m arm candy on Loubotins and for the right man I offer a glimpse of bliss’.
    SD are thinking what will this SB do 4 me – in life as well as the bedroom – r they drama, disease, drug free, do they understand me, will I get along with them, r they fun & balanced, will they follow through. Make sure you answer all these q-s rest is supply-demand.