9 years ago
Sugar Valentine


There have been lots of fabulous Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby Valentine’s Day ideas and stories shared on this blog. If properly sweetened and mutually understood, Valentine’s Day in Sugarland can be…

“I know what NYC SD is getting for Valentine’s day… 😉

it really is what every man wants

Lace Lingerie
Trench Coat
A Whole lot of fun”



How romantic of a sugar are you?

Are you seeking or planning anything with a sugar for Valentine’s Day?

What is the perfect Valentine’s Day treat for a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby?

Leave a Reply

309 Responses to “Sugar Valentine”

  1. smith says:

    Never expect sex on a first date. If all you are after is sex, you have come to the wrong place for reading material. If you are looking for the girl of your dreams, there is nothing sexier than a patient man. You are easily capable of waiting for the right woman.
    Columbus Dating

  2. me says:

    I backed out of going out with my SD on Vday and now he is pissed at me and he won’t fix my car =(. Should I give him back the dress he bought for me? The night sounded fun when he told me about it but when the day came I wasn’t feeling well and I decided to stay home in bed.

  3. sugarbarbie says:

    Happy Valentines! Got my first sugar date this week early morning coffee. I have no idea what to wear. Its cold, early and for coffee…but i still want to look sexy. This is going to be tough.

  4. Happy valentine’s day you guys, hope you’ve had better luck with the sugars then I have :) I guess I’m chasing singles in the clubs tonight!

  5. ESB says:

    Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone! Hope it is filled with love and laughter and lots of Sugar!

  6. ElegantSugar says:

    Thanks, SDN! Happy Valentine’s day to you too.
    Happy Valentine’s day to you all, the sweet sugar family!

    Oh, Chuc Mung Nam Moi! happy new year.

    I’m off to the airport now…

  7. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Happy Valentines day to all sugars!

  8. Flo Rida says:

    Lily – sorry darling but I think it’s time to exert some blunt force trauma to safetynetSD’s ear drum BEFORE anyone get’s hurt. You clearly do not ‘dig’ him and this has the potential to end in tears.

    Ok finally read blog, and now am going back to work at Hertz.

  9. Flo Rida says:

    ESB – i’m sorry to read your story, i’ve never associated Valentines day with any special meaning and so sometimes have been pleasantly surprised but a constant lack of appreciation must be soul destroying. On a lighter note I wish all SBs some sparkling champagne & jewels to accompany the frosting and snow.

  10. Flo Rida says:

    IRLSD – The ‘going’ rate for a ‘quality’ escort in NY is say $700 per hour two hours (though the recession has hit rates) so 2 times per week for $4k-month seems escortish. I know Houston is less expensive, she’s probably spending much more than 1 hour with you, than NY and I have no idea of your or her looks. Maybe she’s asking for extras because she now wants a higher ‘allowance’.

    I agree with Kristina (i think) if a girl likes you, she’ll see you. I know there’s talk about ‘girl power’ and ‘chicks before dicks’ but please, any girl can get out of any event if she wanted to

    Finally your wife probably doesn’t want you to spend money because she views it as her money (and not your money) and she’s frugal.

    Sugarbarbie – i’m sorry for your trouble, did you think of moving the event to a hotel – they normally have a lot of capacity on V-day. Obviously you’d have to offer a discount to customers.

    i’m so so tired, bracing for this second storm hitting NY – yuck – makes me wish i’d gone to Vancouver to watch women’s hockey.

  11. ESB says:

    IRLSD: After reading what you went through for V-day, I wanted to cry! I wish so much my X put that much effort into ME!

    I decided last Dec. (’08) that I was going to leave myX. I decided on V-day weekend, because I KNEW he would be out of state. Long before he even told me and the kids, I found a house, paid 1st and deposit, started moving stuff I wasn’t using in. 3 days before the weekend, he says “I’m going to see my mom next weekend.” Who wants to go with me… yea, we all enjoy the 8 hour drive. So, I moved out on Valentines Day. His MOM ALWAYS got a card, flowers and chocolates. I was lucky to get a card! So, while he was away, I moved out. I knew the only way I was going to get what was rightfully mine was to do it this way. He complained about everything I took, but in hind sight, I left so much that I really wish I took. Just wanted the kids to be comfortable with him, so I left alot for them…

    So, I guess that is my “worlds worst V-day” story! Sorry bout the length. :(

  12. cleo says:

    irlsdhave some patience while she adjusts her life and if she still can’t find time for you find an exit strategy [that will involve paying the rent on that apartment for a year… ]

  13. ESB says:

    SDN: good morning Sweety!! I hope your V-day weekend is going well.

    ES: I can’t wait to read that. Would LOVE to get into the mind of a man for a few moments. I really don’t understand how they think sometimes… I don’t understand how women think sometimes either!

  14. ESB says:

    JC: I am in my 40s and I use text speak all the time, when texting. Saves charachters. I do try to NOT use it in regular emails. Good gramar and spelling are a sigh of education.. I just can’t type most of the time. fingers hit the wrong key, or out of order! He very well could be the age he states.

  15. ElegantSugar says:

    Hello ESB & SDN…plus, any lurkers!

    ESB – big congrats on your 2 sales! You go!!

    SDN – hold on for dear life, love! :)

    Just hopping on to say good morning. Lots to do today! Flying out to visit my SD in his city tomorrow for a few days, so need to go do all my ‘girly things’ today: mani/pedi, facial, etc.

    Also will be working on a new blog post. A local SD agreed to have me interview him and write a little piece on “inside the mind of a SD”. Pretty interesting. Hopefully will have it up by tonight.

    Ok, Sugars…I’m out the door. Have a superb day!

  16. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Morning ESB. I haven’t even tried to catch up, figure I will just jump in and try to hold on lol.

  17. ESB says:

    Good morning everyone! Didn’t check to see who was all here, I’m going to try to catch up.

    I worked yesterday, made 2 sales (YAY!) and got home late. Didn’t come on here at all… watched the Olympics when I got home. The only sports I rip myself away from the computer for.

    Looks like IRLSD is having some trouble… Sorry, Sweety. I’m going to read some more, see what’s going on…

  18. LASB says:

    Cleo – You’re one-hit-wondering us tonight? :( Ok. Well, have sweet sugary dreams!

  19. ElegantSugar says:

    WAY TO GO, LASB! And of course I mean on the couch/mouse potato-ing as well as “speaking the right language” with your pot. I strongly believe our choices of words can create a positive reaction; it’s all in the delivery. (Newton’s Law of Motion: action-reaction)

    ‘night, cleo!

  20. cleo says:

    i always hit a waffle house when i’m driving in the south… sooo goooood

    night sugars

  21. LASB says:

    Sugar friends – I’m having a Cyrano moment right now. The pot who was asking about the “benefactor” clause didn’t poof and just told me I had a way with words. Yes, I’m going to quietly take credit behind your backs, but to your faces I will tell you a BIG THANK YOU! Hehe!

  22. LASB says:

    Elegant – I can relate. I went to Wholefoods to get some kale to boost my raw foods intake, and ended up also getting a few bags of kettle chips. Now I’m sitting in a bean bag chair catching up on email and watching the Olympics. Serious couch/mouse potato-ing happening right now!

  23. ElegantSugar says:

    Oh my gosh, LASB. I ate the most horribly delicious meal ever. Loaded with fat and carbs. Eggs, sausage, bacon, cheese, hashbrowns and THREE buttermilk pancakes! And a glass of milk, which they thought it was laughable that I asked for skim milk. Extra kettlebells for this chica tomorrow!

  24. LASB says:

    Elegant – You are freakin’ awesome!!! Thanks for the tweak! Ok, I am giggling that you eat at the Waffle House. You just upped your likability, if that was even possible. I ate there as a kid because we were visiting Disneyworld and we needed something quick. I remember getting in and out of there in about 15 minutes.

  25. ElegantSugar says:

    Midwest – thank you so much for visiting my blog and yes, I received your message and your questions are right in line with my profession. I will be sending you a response tomorrow. :)

  26. ElegantSugar says:

    A statement like that above opens up the door for the early-on (sometimes awkward) conversation of expectations and needs. They now understand that you ARE seeking financial assistance, but you want to know what it is they want in return. Like I mention on my blog, arrangements are real relationships with workable guidelines.

  27. ElegantSugar says:

    LASB – I’m back! Didn’t mean to turn into a Poof Baby on you amidst our earlier conversation. I stepped out to have a late dinner with my brother at Waffle House. My treat! Ha ha! Hey, a girl would need THREE Sugar Daddies if she had wine and foie gras every night!

    I like IRLSD’s response, however, I would not use “taking care of me” at all. But, that is just my personal opinion. Some men would pull focus on that statement alone and see it as a negative.

    I tweaked what you wrote just a bit. A fusion of what I said and what IRLSD said…

    It would make me happy to find someone who can help ease the financial stresses in my life right now while also being a friend, lover & mentor. In return, I would love to make you happy in the ways that are important to you. I’m certainly not out to take advantage of anyone and realize arrangements are a two way street.

    This way, you are making it a point to let them know it is not just about you and your happiness.

  28. LASB says:

    IRLSD – I used the word “benefactor” because I understand that many guys don’t like being called “Sugar Daddy.”
    That is a great answer to the questions!! I’m putting that on my spreadsheet! :)

  29. IRLSD says:

    LASB, I think the problem with the word benefator is that it implies a one-way, somewhat charitable relationship in which the benefactor provides financial assistance without asking for anything in return but the good feeling in his heart from having helped someone less fortunate than himself. This is why there can be an anonymous benefactor or why athletes may have benefactors. A sugar daddy on the other hand is looking for affection and intimacy in return for his help. I would be a bit wary of someone seeking a benefactor, so unless the rest of her profile makes it clear that she sees it as a two-way thing, I’d ask her what she means.

    Now, when asked what a benefactor means to you, the best answer in my mind would be, “Someone who truly enjoys taking care of me, not one who does it purely in return for sex, even though I see intimacy as being an inherent part of such a relationship as it naturally develops.”

  30. LASB says:

    Goodnight Midwest! Thanks again for your help! You are always so wise!

  31. LASB says:

    Elegant – I hope you don’t mind if I plagiarize you a little.

    Here’s my updated version. All feedback welcome.

    I’d love to find a benefactor who is also interested in being a business mentor. Although, I’m seeking someone who is open to easing my financial stresses at this point in my life, I’m certainly not out to take advantage of anyone.

  32. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Ah lovely ladies – it’s time for me to turn in!

    Elegant – you have blog mail. I truly enjoy the layout and content of your blog. Next time you come to Chicago, I’ll try to carve out some time for Merlot and moschi. Sorry I couldn’t offer up this week…quite the busy time right now.

  33. LASB says:

    Elegant and Midwest – Thanks for the feedback. I liked “benefactor” because I wanted to weed out those who aren’t into the financial assistance. But it doesn’t seem to work, IMO. It just makes me have to explain and defend my position, which isn’t one of my favorite activities.

    Midwest – Yes, on my SA profile, I put a specific amount for that very reason. On the other sites, there is no category the way SA has one.

    Elegant – You have a way with words, so I feel so lucky that you happened to be here when I asked my question! :)

  34. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    LASB – Don’t be afraid to change the”open-negotiable” to a price range. This makes it clear you are seeking an allowance and does tend to weed out people looking for a LTR instead of a MBR.

  35. ElegantSugar says:

    LASB – I simply explained why an arrangement personally works for me now (and there are many reasons to include, but not limited to emotional, physical and financial). That I am not looking for my future, but my interim man. One who can be a friend, lover, mentor, etc. Written very personally to each one, of course. I probably only had one poof daddy after my honest response and it wasn’t the financial aspect that made him poof…he was just a flat out flake! Benefactor is the right word, just misunderstood by so many; so I adjusted the language, that’s all. Semantics!

  36. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    LASB – I do agree with Elegant in that perhaps Benefactor could be replaced with something like “generous man” or patron. Really, if someone has to ask, they may not necessarily be SD material. If you leave it in, perhaps soften the “financial assistance” response to a more sugary response of “My life is heading in the right direction but with a little help I can reach my goals sooner”. This implies you are working yourself, but have aspirations and are not seeking to be fully supported.

  37. LASB says:

    Elegant – Sorry, I’m not trying to pry into personal things. I guess I’m interested in whether you give them a dollar amount, or just explain the nature of the bills you are trying to pay, or what you will use the money for, etc.

  38. LASB says:

    Elegant – I see, and if you don’t mind my asking, then how did you answer those?

    I thought “benefactor” was a clear cut word, but it sure does raise a lot of questions for these guys. What do you think these guys are hoping it means?

  39. ElegantSugar says:

    I hit submit too soon…

    my statement generated more specific questions that were personal in nature and allowed me to explain my situation without sounding like a text book response.

    “Explain this chapter in your life”

    “What type of financial assistance?”

  40. ElegantSugar says:

    LASB – I have never gotten that question because I have opted not to use the word benefactor in my profile. And for that very reason; because it has so many different meanings to different people. However, I did state very clearly that “financial assistance is something I am seeking during this chapter of my life, but I am certainly not here to take advantage of anyone.” That statement has generated a different type of question, which was easier for me to answer and explain.

  41. LASB says:

    Midwest – Typically I say something to the effect of, “To me a benefactor is someone who will assist in easing my financial burdens.” I think I stole that off this blog somewhere.

  42. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    LASB – What is your general reply?

  43. LASB says:

    Hi everyone who isn’t at the meet. I’m taking the night off to watch the Olympics. I’m a bit of a junkie for them.

    So there is a subject I keep getting that I apparently haven’t answered properly, since it makes the pots go POOF once I do. I’d love some help if anyone has a clever, fun, but informative answer.

    The question comes in different forms, but is all seems to be coming from the same train of thought.
    “Can you describe the role of a benefactor in your life?”

    “Would you mind expanding upon the “benefactor” reference?”

    “Can you define benefactor?”

    These questions have come from various guys on EM and SD4Me. How do I address this topic without sounding desperate, cheap, or like I’m a money grubber? I’m guessing your answers will help me in the freestyling world also. Thanks in advance!

  44. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    I see I’m up to my old tricks! The blog has cleared! Then again, it’s the 12th and many of our east coast bloggers are having a wonderful evening together! Have one for us please!!

  45. ElegantSugar says:

    Awww, thank you Midwest. You are a sweetheart. I, too, (not being a young 20-something SB) am proof that there is a SD for all out there!

  46. sugarbarbie says:

    IRLSD -thanks right back atcha
    ElegantSugar – Thank you.
    SBC – Take me with u! lol

  47. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Correction: Lily – what a whirlwind week!!! Glad it is all going soooooo well!

  48. ElegantSugar says:

    Ha Ha, IRLSD, I was saying that sort of tongue in cheek.

    SBC – have a blast in Vegas! Remember to double down on a soft 16 if the dealer has a 4, 5, or 6 for an upcard.

    Lily – Yay on getting your new macbook online!

    sugarbarbie – wine cures almost everything! Happy merlot-ing and Sugar hunting.

  49. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Fogot I’m on a new blog :-)

    How romantic of a sugar are you? I’m very affectionate and romantic. I’m also a bit of a clutz at times, so the best of intentions can turn comical.

    Are you seeking or planning anything with a sugar this Valentines Day weekend? SD has been soooo busy lately, but he has carved out some time for us on Valentines Day! I’m so lucky! Since he reads the blog, the plans will have to remain my little secret!

    What is the perfect Valentines Day gift for a sugar daddy or sugar baby? The “perfect” gift is a little extra TLC, perhaps a thoughtful gift, a fireplace, and a hot tub! We’re lucky in the sugar world, because it doesn’t have to be Valentine’s Day to get those wonderful Valentine’s treats!

  50. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Evening sugars! I hope all is well!

    Elegant – Congrats on your future SD..he is one lucky guy!

    Lil – What a whirlwind of a ride lately! Congrats on a great weekend and so many options!

    JC- I have felt your desparation and let me share that “this too shall pass”. Do what you are comfortable doing. I will say that sugar dating can be a wonderful investment of your time and efforts…better than any part-time job I’ve ever had. If you are able to take a month to conduct a serious search, the rewards will fall in line with the old saying “give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime”. Imaging receiving 3-5K for 6 mos…so much better than $1000 to cover rent for a month. I will also share that as an attractive sb in her 40s, there is an SD for everyone! I am living proof!

    Sugar love to those feeling like their search is a little lumpy. It definitely runs in cycles. You know how they say someone who is in the hospital will heal better when they have a positive attitude? This is true in all facets of life. Dust yourself off, do a happy dance (fake it until you find yourself laughing hysterically), but on your favorite outfit and go turn some heads! You have something amazing to offer so let us help you screen out the duds a bit better and really make your search worthwhile.

    ESB – I consider myself a VERY lucky lady :-)

  51. IRLSD says:

    ElegantSugar, I think I’m at the point where I can care less if my wife *allows* me to go out or not.

  52. Lily says:

    So….. the guy and I had a great evening (no free test drives, this time around in 2010. one year ago he sure got, but not this time!) but the conversation just didn’t veer successfully towards arrangements. He promised things would continue a second evening soon, so…let’s see.

  53. IRLSD says:

    Sugarbarbie, your valentine’s sounds worse than mine :( I’m sorry. If you were here, I’d take you out and try my best to cheer you up.

  54. Lily says:

    I love making new friends!!!

    I am home.

    My macbook air works, and is online! yay!

  55. SCB says:

    Hi Sugar World,
    I’m leaving for vegs this weekend and I just wanted to say bye :)

  56. SanDiego sb says:

    hahahaha i just read everyones blogs ( i was out shopping for heels to go with my dress) they arnt loubt’s *tear* but got them at bebe and still super cute.

    and for everyone responding to the sd4me. how did you cancel it? because i have 3 days in a row and im still a freakin member . . make it stoppp lol

  57. sugarbarbie says:

    IRLSD my valentines is ruined too. I couldn’t make any plans because my hired me to promote valentines weekend. I had today through sunday so packed that we had to turn down reservations. at 100 per head and my cut was a percentage of that. unfortunately i didn’t know that this client was having major financial problems. today i arrived roses in hand to a building, padlocked. i spent the rest of my day calling and canceling hundreds of reservations, being cursed out hung up on and crying. I invested a month into promoting this weekend event. And unless i do some major damage control, these people will probably never attend another one of my events again. I might be done in this town.

    Valentines I will spend with my parents most likely downing merlot like its going out of style. At least I got a ton of roses I can sale on the side of the street. I have another event on Saturday with another club but some of the people going to that event was going to this event so they probably will stiff me.

    Gonna go SD hunting now…

  58. ElegantSugar says:

    IRLSD – :(

    Left over spaghetti and a Marshall’s purse, huh? Well, I guess your SBs can be thankful you aren’t supporting a high-falootin’ wife with Tiffany’s taste, right? That’s one way of looking at it.

    Go out and have some fun for yourself! (If that’s allowed.) Sometimes when I’m down about life (or whatnot), I end up going to this really cool hotel bar (where locals never hang out – it’s kind of a secret spot I found for myself) close enough to cab it. I will order a glass of wine (or exotic drink) and reflect on things and solutions just come to me. And then mostly because I am not shy at all, end up making friends with the entire bar. Always turns out to being wonderful night and I make new friends. :)

  59. IRLSD says:

    Looks like I scared off the whole blog again, lol :(

  60. IRLSD says:

    And to add insult to injury, my wife already said that she won’t go out for Valentine’s on Sunday because she wants to go to bed early, and Saturday there is some kid’s birthday party in the evening, so I was shooting for celebrating Valentine’s tonight, but whatever place I suggested she shot down and I told her, “Fine, here is Zagat’s, pick a place.” She couldn’t pick anywhere, so we’re eating left-over spaghetti. I told her it’s fine. Honestly, I prefer it this way so there are no pretenses about the state of our marriage–it’s supposedly our 10th valentine’s together. I think I’m going to go out by myself tonight and screw them all.

    And for my wife’s Valentine’s gifts, I offered gifts from Cartier and Coach, but she said no and instead bought herself an ugly-ass giant grandma purse from Marshall’s for $25 and thanked me for letting her pick out something for herself so she wouldn’t have to return whatever I would get her. It’s moments like that which make me happy to have SBs to enjoy my money as she sure as hell won’t and won’t let me either.

  61. IRLSD says:

    James, we do have a set schedule and it got messed up this Monday because of the alarm guy. I think I might have to eliminate all “extras” and simplify the arrangement so there are no hurt feelings any more.

  62. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Elegant – I will! And I’m a master with that whip 😉

  63. IRLSD says:

    I texted her and told her that I napped over it and decided that our arrangement was for meeting twice a week for two hours in return for 4K/month. If she wants, we can stick to that arrangement and I am happy with that (she told her sister she has a job during those times, so the sister is not an issue then). But since she has been asking for a lot of extras, I have come to have expectations beyond the strictness of our “arrangement”. So if she wants just the arrangement, we can stick to it but no extras, but my preference is for us to both put in the extra effort to make it something special.

    She wrote back, “I totally agree 100% which is why I am working on my sister.”

    I do believe her because she was living with her sister until last week when I got her an apartment and she was the babysitter, so the sister kind of expects her to babysit all the time still. And she has been very reliable so far, and yesterday she texted me as soon as she got home asking if I could go over (I was in her neighborhood for work) but I had already left the area.

  64. sugarbarbie says:

    well on a lighter note after much thought I decided there is no way I can do the 2 sd thing. I will have to just figure out who i’m more compatible with

  65. ElegantSugar says:

    CA Dreaimn – you will have to send me an updated photo if you decide to go with one of the hairstyles I sent! Easy with that whip too.. :)

  66. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Again, well stated JamesNY.

    IRLSD – just make sure you tell her clearly that any more cancelling of plans at the last minute with lame excuses won’t fly *cracks her whip* 😛

  67. ElegantSugar says:

    Very well stated, JamesNY.

    sugarbarbie – sorry to hear of your recent business news. It’s been tough on a lot of people lately. Hang in there with your Sugar hunt; lots of wonderful pots on SA. (At least I think so – I am a huge advocate though based on my own personal successes with the site.)

  68. JamesNY says:

    IRLSD, saw your later post, but need to ask: you agreed to sign this for her, right? Maybe she doesn’t actually need the alarm, in your view, but she thinks so and you agreed to sign. So you would have this driving problem either way. Is the problem that the risk/benefit calculus changes when there will be no intimacy? Need to mark that down as an investment, in return for which I would expect some certainty and priority coming from her direction in the future.

  69. sugarbarbie says:

    Hello SugarLand,

    I need sugar more than ever. today has been a horrible day for me business wise. Probably lost my biggest client. Devastated, but optimistic somehow. I hope a POT pulls through.

  70. JamesNY says:

    IRLSD, dude, I get your frustration but you are stuck. If you’re going to be the daddy, you need to go sign the darn contract and roll with the punches about the scheduling. I understand you think you had a prior claim on Sunday (although it sounds a bit on the fly), but she may be right that her sister wouldn’t rest until she figured out what was going on. Discretion is key, right? I think you should make your point about scheduling, laying out your expectations in a clear way, and give her another chance. Personally, I’m a set date kind of guy — for example, we meet on Mondays. I expect that date to be kept open unless something big comes up. Babysitting for a sister wouldn’t be enough of an excuse for me!

  71. ElegantSugar says:

    Well, when you rephrase it that way, it sounds differently than when you said you would just be “too busy” in quote marks implying it would be a made up excuse (at least that’s how Iread it) – instead of an inconvenience. She is certainly being unfair to you with her decisions, that is certain.

  72. Kristina says:

    IRLSD – sounds she is making up excuses to not see you I am afraid. If a girl likes you she will make the time.

  73. CA Dreamin SB says:

    IRLSD – Of course, I’ve been an impatient b**ch lately, so don’t listen to me! :)

  74. IRLSD says:

    ElegantSugar, in all honesty, it’s not easy for me to drive forty minutes away in the middle of the day without arousing suspicion and I’d need an almost absurd excuse just to be there for her to get an alarm in a totally safe gated suburban community. If she is not willing to say no to babysitting for her sister, why should I assume such risk? It is a tit-for-tat in a sense, but is it really immature?

  75. CA Dreamin SB says:

    IRLSD – For me, that would be one too many excuses.

  76. ElegantSugar says:

    IRLSD – while I can completely side with you on the reasons for your absolute frustration with this new SB, I personally think the tit for tat approach is a bit immature.

  77. IRLSD says:

    Hi Cleo!

  78. ElegantSugar says:

    Freakonomics is one of my favorite books! There is s supposed to be a film version released this year…if it hasn’t already, I haven’t been keeping up on new film releases.

    Hi, SDN!

  79. IRLSD says:

    OK, I have my first sugar dilemma with my new SB. I was supposed to meet her yesterday but she got stuck at her sister’s babysitting and did not get out till about an hour too late and I had already gone home. It didn’t bother me one bit especially since we were going to meet on Monday at my place. Then later that night she told me that Monday afternoon the alarm installer was going to her place so I could go over to her place (actually, I have to go over because I need to sign the paperwork). Since there would be no intimacy with the alarm guy there, she offered to make it up sometime, which was fine, and I suggested Sunday night and she said OK. But right now she said that her sister had a softball something-or-another and she needed to help babysit Sunday night. I told her to come up with some Valentine’s-related excuse but she said her sister would not buy it because she knows her too well. I told her to just say she can’t do it and her answer was that her sister doesn’t like to take no for an answer and that her sister would get mad at her while I wouldn’t.

    My reply was that I wasn’t mad but that I was a little bit annoyed because it takes me a bit of planning and effort to see her, and that I did not want to sound like a squeaky wheel trying to get its way but we had agreed on Sunday night before her sister asked her to babysit and she should have just said no to her.

    So was I out of line? SBs really don’t realize that every time I see them it is a production and the fact that I am reliable and show up every time on time is not because it is easy but because I plan things out and put in effort, so I expect the same in return.

    In any case, it’s kind of ruined Valentine’s. Even if I do see her, I’d feel like it was because I whined. But in all honesty, if she doesn’t meet me Sunday, why should I drive over an hour back and forth to sign her contract to get an alarm installed at her apartment? I will just be “too busy” with work then. Is it fair to tell her I can’t make it at the last minute on Monday in this situation?

  80. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    CA Dreamin: I have been in hiding lol. Actually just very busy with work.

    Cleo: Hey!!

  81. cleo says:

    JamesNY thank you. well said… and i’m glad i brought it up on a day you were around.

    NCGent i wasn’t pointing out anyone in particular, just commenting on what trends i was noticing…

    irlsd well put

  82. IRLSD says:

    But to criticize JC, I’d say that if you have accepted sex-for-money, my understanding is that it’s easy to find on SA and you could probably find a good number of guys willing to pay $1000 for sex on the first date. When I started on the blog months ago, I had a second account which I used to see if the SBs I was seeing were on the escort end of the spectrum, so I would use the account to offer them $2000 to meet in a hotel room for sex and to my surprise quite a few of the SBs I had met said yes. The whole thing was an eye-opener and I spent a lot of time thinking it over and concluded at the end that they were not escorts per se, but rather needed money and saw the picture and felt some attraction and were willing to go along with it. This is as opposed to an escort who will sleep with anyone as long as he can pay in just the same way as a doctor has to see any patient who comes through the ER door and can’t refuse service just because someone is old and ugly.

    To be totally honest, JC’s financial despair really arouses my sense of charity, but her ability to “fake it” is such a turn-off. But in a more general sense, how do you know if an SB is faking it? You can never know. OK, when an SB is clearly in love, it’s obvious she’s not faking it, but aside from that, it’s so hard.

  83. CA Dreamin SB says:

    I’m good SDN. Haven’t seen you around the blog for a while!

  84. IRLSD says:

    I will pitch in here in defense of JC. The blog is heavily tilted towards one part of the SA spectrum (SD and SB who are fond of one another and the money is just the icing on the cake), whereas SA has people looking for all sorts of different arrangements.

    I tend to be overly emotional and unless there are feelings, I just cannot sleep with someone (OK, if I ever meet someone who is a 10 I can possibly make an exception). I have had sex with 3 SBs out of 20 I’ve met on SA, and with each and every one of them I saw myself being with them a good while into the future. When I did not feel that way I never asked for sex and turned it down when offered (I don’t see the point of sleeping with someone I never plan on seeing again).

    But I have met SBs who see this very differently. While a minority want a secret wealthy part-time boyfriend, most want to offer sex without emotions. They do not see it as prostitution because they select their client, have a single client, see him for some duration of time, and “like” him even though they have no real emotional attachment.

    I met one girl on SA who tried to be an escort but failed (she met a couple of guys but chickened out each time) and another who wanted to meet for 30 minutes twice a week and thought it was plenty of time for what “we had arranged.” Needless to say, it wasn’t my idea of an arrangement.

  85. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Hey JamesNY. I am used to being ignored even when they are all here! lol.

    CA Dreamin: How you doing?

  86. JamesNY says:

    LASB, thanks. It’s slightly off point, but there’s a section in the book Freakonomics about why prostitutes make more money than architects. The short answer is, no girl ever says I want to become a prostitute when I grow up. The woman I mentioned who had a breakdown while dabbling in escorting was, in fact, an unemployed architect and found this, to say the least, ironic. One practical tip I learned from her about escorting is to use two different cell phones.

  87. CA Dreamin SB says:

    I keep missing these meets! I need to get out more!

  88. JamesNY says:

    SDN, be advised, most of the NY crew (and others) will be going to a meet tonight so don’t feel bad if you hear crickets chirping this way!

  89. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Hey all. Trying to stay up on the blog. Anyone miss me? Remember me?

  90. LASB says:

    James NY – Thanks for your very candid and insightful post. When there is that much content, it doesn’t seem like a long post at all.

  91. JamesNY says:

    Re the escort/SB distinction, I agree with NC’s definition. And I share Cleo’s empathy towards escorts and the escort world. The line is fuzzy and intensely personal. Once again I find myself seconding NYC SB, that wise young woman. The point for JC (or for anyone else in similar shoes) is to be clear in her own mind about what she is comfortable with.

    Long before I ever heard of SA, I had long-run arrangements with women I first met on CL with no particular expectation of an arrangement. They simply evolved that way. In fact, when I first saw SA, I felt almost like it was copying what I was already doing without having a label for it. But before there was CL, there were escorts, and I had “relationships” with some very cool women that lasted a long time, even if they didn’t become more “formalized” as an arrangement.

    The difference was subtle but real: the reason I started to have arrangements was because I became more involved in the other person’s life, and they in mine, and we liked sharing more with each other. With an escort, the deal is you don’t ask about the rest of their life or expect any honest answers if you do; the impersonality is experienced as much on the client side as on the provider’s.

    What also happened is that the women I was seeing were being worn down by the CL/escort grind, and I wanted to spare them from that with some assurance that the rent would be paid. I can say from personal experience that I have known women whose self-esteem and sexuality were negatively affected by feeling that they had become “escorts.” One woman in particular had a kind of breakdown that broke my heart. And even if it is difficult to talk about SA type arrangements with everyone in your life, in my experience they are easier for people to understand (mistresses have been around forever) and significantly less difficult to incorporate in a woman’s personal life. It’s a lot easier to maintain one steady customer with a regular pattern than try to respond to the shifting demands of an uncertain retail customer base. A lot easier to keep the rest of your life on an even keel too.

    Sorry for the long note, but it strikes a chord with me.

  92. LASB says:

    NYC – Ah, life imitating art! Now, how can you say “no” to that? 😉

  93. NYC SB says:

    LASB – speaking off GG – an old pot of mine has been trying to reconnect… he is coming to NYC in march for a conference staying at the plaza so he writes to me

    “Why dont you meet me for a drink and dinner at the Plaza, Gossip Girl style. Maybe wear a red lipstick because then you will be a total Blair Waldorf”

  94. NJLady says:

    LASB- I deleted my photo. They must have cancel me because I can’t login.

  95. LASB says:

    No worries GG. I’m actually feeling pretty damn good about myself that I could offer YOU some advice for once. haha.

  96. NYC SB says:

    Good call LASB 😀

  97. LASB says:

    On hidden profiles, I have been able to see them too, so I’m not sure what the deal is. If you really don’t want to be found or contacted, I’d advise to delete your photos. No one writes to females without photos and photos are easy enough to put back up.

  98. NJLady says:

    What happened with the pot sd from here, and now this. Leads me to believe that maybe I need to take a break. Sometimes things like this happened for a reason. I’m going about it the wrong way.

  99. NJLady says:

    Lisa- I have the same situation. I go to church also for food. I have bills that I’m carrying over from last year. And this “blank” as the nerve to say that to me. People like that scare me. I was shaking after reading that email. But the guy has a problem, and it’s a learning experience. I wrote him back with the messages about rescheduling. He wrote back after that, but I didn’t even bother answering it. I’m not getting myself all work up over someone who doesn’t even know me.

  100. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    edit SD4me not SD4m3

  101. NJLady says:

    NYC SB-I took down my profile and photo also, and yesterday I got two respondes, even though I wrote and cancelled. This guy just wants to find someone for a relationship. That’s fine, but he’s going about it the wrong way. I’m so glad I followed my mind and cancelled. I didn’t have a good feeling about him in the first place and that letter confirmed everything. I think that letter also woke me up, not to be to haste in founding someone.

  102. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I don’t understand the membership fee for sd4m3. I have a profile on there (have had it hid for several months) and never had to pay anything to respond to emails. Of course the only ones I can respond to are the total access sds but then again why would I want to be able to respond to the non paying sds? Not sure about that but I have never had to pay anything. Also I did meet a sd on there last year. It didn’t last but a month because he was unwilling to drive 35 miles to see me, but he did give me a months’ allowance on the first and second dates. And half a months when he broke off with me at the end of the month. I haven’t received a message on SA for months and have deleted my profile. I met 2 sds on SA that took me shopping but at the time I was out of work so where as it was appreciated, I really could have used cash as when I came home from shopping, I had an empty fridge and was getting food at the church down the street. So all in all I haven’t found sd4me to be any worse than SA. I guess it depends on the individual and the location

  103. NYC SB says:

    SD4M… overall my experience has not been good… i dont even get that many emails on there as i refuse to pay for membership… when i do it seems like no one is serious about meeting… except for NYC SD… but he is one of the “good” guys

  104. NYC SB says:

    Apparently my hidden profile can still be found. I just got like 4 emails… 3 from people I have not spoken to before.

  105. NJLady says:

    This is the best. Heard from that guy from SD4me. A ntut. He’s going to write am I 16 or 46? I’m BS him, I wrote this guy and asked him if we could reshedule for another day. He said fine, let me know when. I wrote thank you. Now he’s sending me a nasty letter saying all this crap to me. Yet you’re going to say to me, how you can’t wait to taste me! Leave that site alone.

  106. ElegantSugar says:

    Lily – it doesn’t sound like SNG is experienced in having a SB at all. he is merely interested in finding his next wife. You mentioned before all the reasons why he was wonderful to keep around, but it seems here lately he only causes you anxiety. Completely goes against the grain of why we Sugar date, no? As far as the RPIRLSD (reappearing possible in real life sd), keep the faith with your Jedi mind tricks. May the force be with you. Tell us how it goes.

    LASB – I have not seen Avatar in a 3-D IMAX theater, but your description of eye pain is telling me I should not. Oh, and thanks for the kind words about my blog. Glad you likey.

  107. Lily / IRLSB says:

    I saw it 3-D but not imax. Very intense nonetheless. In Amsterdam now, going home. :) this flight is at least long enough for a real nap. I am meeting him in less than 3hrs and will gradually build up towards the idea subtly and see if he doesn’t think of it all on his own. Better if it’s his idea. My jedi mind tricks aren’t too shabby. Plus, this isn’t pocket science. He’s hot for me, also cares for me, can’t offer a traditional relationship, has money, he knows I can use the money, he wants my companionship on business trips…. Easy.

    Safetynetguy. Sigh. So smitten. All he wants is to set things up with me to leave his wife and run into my arms. I hate him for that. I find it slimy behavior. I could tell him that hearing about his impending divorce or wife at all brings me down and to stop. Hmmm.

  108. LASB says:

    Elegant – I love the format and look of your blog! It was awesome before and even better now! You have a great sense of design. Congrats on the sugar search coming to a happy ending!

    Lily – Sounds like you had an awesome time! Don’t you love it when you can use the plane ride to catch up on sleep? Hopefully you’ll fit that nap in somewhere.

    SugarBarbie – Thanks for passing along your raw foods info! So much on there, I can’t wait to read through!

    Did anyone else see Avatar at the 3D Imax and have their eyes hurt the next morning? They are definitely don’t hurt as much as last night, but wow was that intense.

  109. NYC SB says:

    NC – valid point on SB vs Escort…

    Elegant – Yeah well my job is to pay attention to detail… i didnt become a number cruncher for nothing


  110. ElegantSugar says:

    NYC SB…ha ha! I know. I am trying to convert all the Spanish to English, but some of it is hard-coded and can’t be changed. I know just enough about html to be dangerous, but not enough to design my own template from scratch. So funny you noticed that. You are an attention-to-detail type of person for sure!

  111. NC Gent says:

    Escorts and sugar babies are definitely different. I wasn’t judging anyone. I was just saying that if you are having sex with someone that you don’t care about and you are only doing it for money, that makes you an escort not a sugar baby. Just because you meet them on a sugar site doesn’t make one an SB. The sames can be said for an SD — just because you are on a sugar site, it doesn’t mean you aren’t a “John.”

    And if anyone wants to tell me to f-off — have at it – I have some pretty darn thick skin after being in the sugar world for about 4 years :)

  112. NYC SB says:

    Elegant – Lol your blog at the bottom says “topo” which is spanish for top … i thought that was a typo until i read about your site developer

  113. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Elegant – awesome! Thank you – I like them BOTH!!!

  114. ElegantSugar says:

    Ah, I see what you’re saying, cleo dear.

    Where I am a…

    (insert my career here) /Sugar Baby

    some are

    Escort as a career / Sugar Baby

    I see. Well, the way I see it…I guess, in a hundred years none of it will matter (to me at least) unless one of us becomes a famous mistress – famous enough to be mentioned in history books.

    Darn it, I thought you WERE hitting on me. Way to burst my bubble. 😉

  115. NYC SB says:

    Cleo – I dont think anyone should be judging anyone regardless of whether they have been judged by others before. Live and let live is my moto.

    JCs situation is unique… and my comments to her are just purely out of concern that if she enters this arrangement she might regret it down the road.

  116. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Thank you Elegant – I needed a pick-me up this morning!

  117. cleo says:

    elegant: THIS not YOUR for sure!

    i am NOT comparing sugar babies to escorts except that some are. the ones on this blog tend to be the exceptional though don’t they? i fully recognize that the two are not the same; they’re just not also mutually exclusive.

    i just find it interesting that people in a small pool judge people in a different but related small pool. that said, i myself have argued quite a lot with irl people about the dfference and i know exactly what it is.

    just stop JUDGING them… or sb’s who make choices that we don’t personally agree with. (again GENERAL population, not YOU specifically.)

    for the record:

    – if i am in email contact with you from the blog? i assume we’re friends
    – if i offer to meet you for a beer or a hockey game? i assume we’re friends
    – if you email me through SA and offer an arrangement? i do NOT assume we’re friends until we agree/disagree on the idea of an arrangement. [is it wrong that i want to put a little note here? James/ Storm *sexy look* call me!] {dies of gigles}

    to the people that i was in contact with and have offered to meet with? many of whom disappeared on the spot never to be heard from again? to the ones who say ‘yes yes’ and then disappear forever from my private correspondence?



    [disclaimer: this has NOTHING to do with the group slowly gelling around the idea of a toronto meet up. just to be clear]

  118. ElegantSugar says:

    CA Dreamin…awww, you’re so pretty! I am sending you an example of a hairstyle that I think would suit you. Might be drastic for you though. (?)

  119. ElegantSugar says:

    cleo – do you mean the tone of this blog is negative towards escorts or do you mean MY blog? Either way, I just feel the GP (Gen Pop) have no understanding whatsoever of sugar dating, (or arrangements) at all. Therefore, they align sugar dating with escorting. I would never meet a guy in a hotel room, have sex and then accept a payment and move on. If others choose to do that, fine, that’s their prerogative – they are choosing to be escorts. But many think because there is an allowance involved, that we as SBs, are in fact, escorts. I will argue day and night they are not the same pursuits at all.

  120. SanDiego sb says:

    ughhhh the first time i posted this it didnt post

    ok so i have a question for everyone im trying to cancel my sd4me , and it wont do it!! theres a stupid cancellation request. and no one is getting back to me. they keep trying to re charge my card and since theres no money on it its getting declined. and it did that last month too. and when i put money in my account they charge me and im sick of it. they do it WITHOUT your permission and you cant take you card off theyre file.

    i just want to get rid of it all together. does anyone know what i should do?

  121. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Lily – propose the arrangement idea to him tonight. If he’s into it, go for it!

  122. cleo says:

    lily: say yes to him and dump safetynetguy

  123. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Elegant – sent you a face photo of me :)

  124. Lily / IRLSB says:

    Ok, random question from the plane. I’m bored. They are getting snow off the wings.

    Here’s the question: one year ago, a handsome, rich man took me on 2 amazing dates when I suddenly got this suspicious feeling that he wasn’t single. I was correct. He hadn’t brought up his un-happy live-in girlfriend situation. They are also business partners and she practically threatens to ruin his career and professional reputation if he leaves her and moves out. She wants the illusion and the hope. He seemed honest and miserable and felt trapped. I broke up with him. Now he’s popped back up and wants to casually get together tonight and catch up. I know he’s crazy about me. The sex is perfect. Best lover i’ve found in this country. He has all the ingredients to be an amazing SD. Shall I propose an arrangement? He travels globally for work and has hinted that he want me to come with him. He can afford an allowance…he’s not single… Hmmm.

  125. cleo says:

    elegant: nice

    and on the escort issue you may not be judging but the general tone of the blog is quite so which is ironic since i know sb’s who are actually escorts so…

    anyway re escorting: you can’t unring a bell… but if the idea of the bell doesn’t bother you i say hit it

  126. ElegantSugar says:

    CA Dreamin – I would need to know your face shape and height before giving hairstyle recommendations. Those are huge factors when deciding on a new cut/style.

  127. ElegantSugar says:

    Geez, I wish we could edit after posting. I did not proofread the above.

  128. ElegantSugar says:

    Hey Cleo,

    I just took my time really getting to know my pots. If it was apparent from the get-go they weren’t for me, I didn’t waste there time or mine…NEXT. I was extremely honest and forthcoming with my needs and limits and encouraged the same from them.

    In the past, I just went into an arrangement without truly knowing their expectations and then feeling a bit resentful for certain things. (Resentful might be a stronger word than what I’m intending to convey, but you get it.) For example, I honestly need things to move a little slower than what is probably the norm in Sugar dating. I realize it is accelerated dating, but I am the type of person who needs things to happen very organically and not feel forced. I didn’t express this in the past. Although I had wonderful and amazing experiences with my last 2 SDs, I would much rather be in a longer term one than just six months, which is essentially the life-span of each one of those.

    Also, on the escort issue. I don’t believe people here (at least I can speak for myself) are not judging the career choice of the escort; rather defending our own lifestyle of sugar dating. They are not the same, yet often times are viewed as such.

  129. SanDiego sb says:

    ok i have a question cause im really annoyed. Ive been trying to cancel my sugardaddy4 me profile for dayysssss. and it WONT DO IT. it re-charges you without your permission and im just over it.

    you have to do some dumb cancellation request. wtf request??? no how about i click a button and its over. thats ridiculous .

    does anyone know how to cancel it??

  130. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Okay – new question

    I have been growing my brunette hair out for YEARS. It grows really slowly and is about 3″ shy of mid-back length. It’s very fine. I want to do something to it, but have no idea what…any suggestions?

  131. cleo says:

    elegant: what do you mean diligent? i feel like that’s something i could improve

  132. cleo says:

    lily you are hurting me, i would die to go to europe for my winter wardrobe. the boots etc here just aren’t as good
    you know, i used to live in the middle of the gay community and it seemed to me that it was really strange that gay men who were very very very “light” were the ones most likely to look down their noses at and be derogatory toward women; women were a sub species to them. and i found it really interesting that people who had been so harassed for their own selves were turning around and doing that to women. didn’t make sense.

    why abuse another abused minority?

    i kind of feel like that about escorts and this blog.

    y’all? i know some AMAZING people who happen to be escorts. i know escorts who want to be escorts when they’re 60, i know escorts who consider this the most fulfilling work they can imagine. i know escorts and madams and phone girls and drivers who take care of each other and consider each other family. i know escorts who are NOT embarassed by their choices and i know escorts who put their full face picture on their websites because they’re PROUD of what they do.

    here y’all are, sugar people. people that others have been known to judge. people who take pride in their alternative choices. people who believe that sugar is a natural relationship and think that in some ways it’s saner than regular relationships. people who hide their activities from their friends and loved ones and come here because no one will understand their choices and WE are judging ESCORTS???

    so JC? honey? you do what feels right to you. what your moral centre will allow. what makes sense to *YOU* and f*ck ’em if they can’t take a joke.

  133. ElegantSugar says:

    I think I finally have the “look” I am happy with for my blog. (I’m a bit of a perfectionist and ultra-picky about presentation – comes with my -professional background.) I wanted a magazine type feel, which would also be easy to navigate through. I ended up finding a template, but the creator wrote it all in Spanish! Ha ha! So there might be some areas in Spanish that I haven’t figured out how to change yet. So funny. Thanks to all my friends here from this blog who visit and also the many lurkers who have contacted me. On that note, I want to share that there are soooo many people reading the content of this blog who remain quiet at all times. So many. They turn to this blog for guidance and answers to their many questions and concerns. So I think it’s wonderful that so many people are willing to participate in this community and that there are such varied experiences!

    CA Dreamin – Incoming!

  134. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Back at you too NYC – thanks

  135. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Okay Elegant – thanks you have mail too :)

  136. NYC SB says:

    CA – right back at ya 😉

  137. ElegantSugar says:

    CA Dreamin, yes. There is a contact post at the bottom as well as if you click on About Me to view my profile, there is an email link there. :)

  138. ElegantSugar says:

    Yes, Lily…2 months felt like FOREVER. But I’m glad I took my time. I was very diligent in my quest this time from the lessons learned from my past mistakes. I met some wonderful, wonderful people during my new search. (met some questionable characters as well…) but overall, I just want to tell the SBs here still searching that there are some amazing men out there! I am sure you are just still floating on cloud 9 after this week! What a nice, generous SD you have to include your friend!

  139. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Elegant – Can I email you through your blog?

  140. Lily / IRLSB says:

    Sincere, sorry for your sad v-day. I will spend mine alone, but after a night of having dozens into my home for a lovely house party. I am at the airport to go home, still typing on my phone since I still haven’t gotten my new laptop onlie!
    ES, awesome news! I’m psyched that so recently after going back to the drawing board, you have tighr set to begin an arrangement. Two months of no arrangement are long enough, right? :)
    i’m on a retail high. When winter clothes look that cute, who cares about the cold?

  141. CA Dreamin SB says:

    NYCSB – I need advice…you have email :)

  142. ElegantSugar says:

    Ok, due to the overwhelming response to access my blog, Sugar & the City and my lack of time to moderate & review all subscription requests, I have changed the privacy setting back to public viewing. My concerns, which caused me to make the blog private in the first place are no longer concerns. Thanks for reading my little contribution to the sugar world.

  143. NYC SB says:

    Sugar Barbie – I have 2 SDs… I like both… they do not know about each other… but none of them had asked me for exclusivity so its only fair…

    Elegant – YAY! P90x has been kicking my butt … i can barely move… I am making NYSE SD take me for a massage tomorrow bc he said we can do whatever I want…

    DC SB – Looking forward to our double date tonight… should be tons of fun

  144. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Morning all – just caught up!

    Sincere – I’m so sorry :(

    Elegant – YEA for you!!! :)

    Raining AGAIN this morning

  145. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    sugarbarbie if you are free to travel, it sounds like a good opportunity for you and the allowance is more than fair.

    My biggest roadblock is not being able to travel although i’d love to be able to. I’m stuck in a retail job that I have to beg to get days off together. I will 3 days off most weeks but never together due to delivery schedules. I find myself hating the job I used to somewhat like because it limits my opportunities. It’s just a grocery store job but it happens to be one of the better ones so if I was to lose it, i’d most likely end up back at minimum wage at a competitor. I feel depressed thinking of the future when the job is gone, and most jobs do end do to various circumstances, etc that I will remember the opportunities I passed up because of being tied down.

    Dreary day in Houston, Please send mr sunshine!

  146. ElegantSugar says:

    NC – you and I are always on the same page! I think after we got beyond the Tarheels vs dookie dook convo, we just bonded! Ha ha.

  147. NC Gent says:

    I agree with ES (as usual). Try it out — I think the traveling will get old, but maybe you can meet in places in between for weekend getaways so the flights aren’t so long. Maybe later you will change it to once a month… be flexible and have fun. $5k for two weekends a month sounds pretty generous to me, but that is from an SD perspective.

  148. ElegantSugar says:

    Sugarbarbie – I, personally, don’t think 2 weekends a month is a lot of traveling at all. And he is offering a pretty generous allowance for only 2 weekends. If there aren’t any red flags and you genuinely like him, I say give it a try. If that much traveling turns out to be too much for you, then discuss it with him. Maybe he can come to you sometimes?

  149. sugarbarbie says:

    Good morning SugarLand! Talked to POT 1 and 2 last night! Yep 2 popped up from nowhere. I like them both but POT 2 live all the way on the west coast. POT 2 said that whatever our agreed upon amount he would send 20% upfront to show he was serious and real. We didn’t get into detail about how often I would travel but he threw out 2 weekends a month…and 5k as the hypothetical amount. I have no idea what to ask for or even if I should pursue him. I dont have red flags with him but that’s a lot of traveling…anybody else travel like that? Also, I have friends in his area so thats no problem. I also wonder how POT 1 would feel about me also seeing POT 2. How many see multiple SDs? Do they know? My problem is I don’t know what I want. I know POT 2 wants someone that can be around often twice a month might not be enough after a while. so here’s the thing…any suggestions of what kind of sugar I should want for flying round trip coast to coast 2 weekends a month? what’s the suggested high and low? I have my first meetup with POT1 in a couple days! I really like him he keeps me laughing and I can tell he likes to spoil. But he probably will get frustrated about me not knowing what I want. I need to figure it out. Hopefully I’ll get some new POTs today.

  150. ElegantSugar says:

    Hi DC! Oh, think of me if you drive by the big Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week tents at Bryant Park. Last year there after 16 years…and I’m missing it. :(

    Have a great time tonight at the NYC meet. Hope to make one of them soon!

  151. NC Gent says:

    HI DC SB! I hope you have a great time tonight. I am soooo jealous!

  152. DC SB says:

    Morning everyone! The SD & I are in nyc. & I can’t wait to see all the NYC sugars tonight!!

    ES I’m so happy for you babe!!

    & hi NC *waves*

  153. ElegantSugar says:

    I just read your post, SincereSD. So sorry for your current distress from SB breakup. :(

  154. ElegantSugar says:

    Absolutely, NC!! I’m going into a sugar relationship, I’m not ending my social life! And thank you for your kind words. :)

  155. NC Gent says:

    Congratulations ES! I kind of figured that was the reason, and I knew it wouldn’t take long for someone great to find you. I hope we can still have our French press coffee date :)

  156. ElegantSugar says:

    NC Gent – Because I have 2 wonderful options in front of me and both are waiting very sweetly for me to make a decision. I am pretty certain I know which direction I will be going. I need look no further at this point…

  157. NC Gent says:

    ooops on my double negative … there *is* much gray…

  158. NC Gent says:

    Welcome back from Chicago Elegant! Why did you delete your profile?

  159. NC Gent says:

    JC — I feel badly you are in this financial position, but you need some tough love. Sorry to say this but I don’t think there isn’t much gray area here — you are acting like an escort, but you are using SA to make your connections. Post an ad on CL stating you only need $150 per visit, and in a few weeks, you should have enough money to pay off all of your bills, but you will have cashed in all of your self esteem. If you truly don’t like any people, then a sugar arrangement isn’t for you. You ARE an escort; if you don’t like the sound of that, think about how you are going to feel afterwards.

  160. ElegantSugar says:

    By the way, I deleted my SA profile today.

  161. ElegantSugar says:

    LASB: Dutch on a coffee date?!

    (and this one a little bit late, but from a response from the last post…) NC Gent: For some reason, you don’t strike me as the Jay Z audience! Funny.

    JC: Although a lot of women do venture into the sugar dating pursuit during a financial hardship, you will learn very quickly, it is so much more than just about the money. Finances definitely figure into the relationship because the SD genuinely cares about his SB. While you feel you can feign affection, the SD will sense this and your relationship will be short-lived and you will be seeking another SD for another transaction, which certainly does NOT make what you are doing sugar dating.

    Pears are a sexy fruit.

  162. Happy Lurker says:

    Hi SandiegoSB,
    Drop me a line and I will present you with over 10 recipes for a dish with tofu and they all taste differently.
    Great fun to read up the world of Raw Food and its amazing recipes.
    I am afraid it is not for me. You see I love a Black Labrador.
    Raw foodies are deep into Border Collies. You do not be a Sherlock Holmes to uncover this fact. It is in the recipes.
    Peanut Gulash recipe reads “soak peanuts untill they are the size of border collie testicles”.
    Howling with laughter I wish everyone an Olympic sugar day !

  163. Lily says:

    zazazoomSD knows exactly how I want to be adored and treated. Sigh. Bliss.

    Last night was our last night together here in this wonderful cocoon/bubble of our 5-star hotel with amazing facilities. We dined with his friend and colleague, retired to our room, and about two hours later I woke up slightly because he was stroking my hair and watching me sleep, telling me how beautiful I am. He claims that he knows that I will break his heart, but he doesn’t care, he assumes the risk completely. Somehow this guy, as he keeps telling me over and over, seems to mean what he says and says what he means, very straightforward, so I do believe his romantic overtures. Perhaps I am being naive. But we are both having such a great time that it doesn’t matter.

    We ended up talking throughout the entire night, and today, here in the hotel alone (his flight already left, mine isn’t until later) I am exhausted. 6 shots of espresso and still exhuasted. I don’t even have the energy to get excited about taking my girlfriend out shopping all day, on his dime. He has been so incredibly sweet to provide for her as well this week, so I could enjoy all kinds of fun and pampering while here on his trip with him, with a girlfriend along for the ride, which made it a million times more fun than just wandering around alone, spending money. She had never gotten a facial or a massage before in her life! She and I laid on beds next to each other and just luxuriated in the treatments, and wonderful meals in all the restaurants in her city that she can’t normally afford, and I just loved being able to redirect part of zazazoomSD’s generosity in her direction, since she’s a broke medical student who never splurges.

    One last day here in fantasy-land and then back home tonight. Having a huge party at my place tomorrow night I must prepare for. I think I should even get new furniture for the front hall, to allow for better seating options in that room.

    SafetyNetGuy, (nicknamed such because, as you may recall, he is both my sugar safety net as a reliable source of complete financial support in addition to the fact that I enjoy his company and find him sexy, but also because he thinks that I am going to be wife #2 there waiting for him after he divorces the wife he has), has been blowing up my phone but since he knows I have been ill, I just told him that I needed to take a break from all his amorous attention while I heal myself (and continue to honor professional obligations) and will call him when I am all better. He texted back that he never meant to imply that we need to see one another every day and he just likes having a coffee with me, he didn’t mean to put romantic pressure on me. I wish that were true, but he is delusional if he believes that one. He both wants to see me every day and wants to be with me, romantically, every day. I just don’t see this lasting, on my end, as my patience is wearing thin from his obsession….

  164. JC says:

    I guess because to me, at this moment, 1k IS a large amount. It’s all relative, to someone who is wealthy 1k is a pittance and to someone living in Ethiopia 1k might seem like a fortune. For me, right now, the 1k is a large amount. I am talking to other SD’s as well but I think this guy is eager to do it “right away” and I need the money fast. That’s the reason why I’m considering it.

    He’s not a SD, he is a regular guy looking for an arrangement. He lives in a cheap apartment and doesn’t have any assets. He just has barely enough money for 1k a month to play with. I am guessing he makes less than 100k a year.

  165. LASB says:

    The thing that is baffling to me on SD4Me is that the guys just want a typical friends with benefits relationship, but seem to have no interest in providing for the SB in any fashion. My profile clearly states that I am seeking a benefactor, yet they write to me and then get pissy and judgmental about it after a few email exchanges. I’m thinking that this is a geographical issue, since CA men tend to be the most frugal beings on the planet. I’ve never had a New Yorker or southern gentleman go dutch on a coffee date or not offer to pay for parking/valet when I’m driving and they are riding in my car.

  166. LASB says:

    JC – I guess what people are having a tough time understanding is that if you don’t even like the guy, why settle for such a small amount? Not that I have an SD, but in my mind, I think I’d be more likely to accept a lower amount of allowance from a guy I really connected with. However, if I have no connection at all, I don’t care what he wants to give me, I still won’t enter an arrangement with him. I understand your detachment. I have the same to some degree, or maybe it’s that the things that motivate most people are not the same things that tend to motivate me.

  167. JC says:

    Thank you lil sb :) I appreciate your concern about me and that you don’t want me to do something I won’t regret :) I have never been religious however and don’t find anything immoral with money for sex. Being a SB is NOT about money for sex, I’m just saying in general I’m fine with it. I also don’t associate sex with love or an emotional connection. I have had recreational fun before and no regrets. I have done some things a few people would probably have regrets about but as for me I never thought twice about it. This may sound bad but I don’t have a strong conscience. There are a lot of things that people consider unacceptable that I feel is ok. I guess I’m a bit “different” than most women.

  168. lil'SB says:

    Oh a meeting, that’s exciting! Good luck with that~

  169. JC says:

    Lil SB, he claims that he uses skype a lot for business related issues. I guess it could be believable. We’re meeting soon for coffee next week so I guess I’ll find out soon enough if he is for real. I just have never seen an older person use slang like that.

  170. lil'SB says:

    A little off topic here, but I just love an SD who lures me in with his words. An eloquent and creative initial message makes me really appreciate the wonderful application of their ivy league education, and if it’s an especially long message, well I’m even more grateful for their taking the time to compose it for me! It makes me feel special and I’m more likely to reciprocate the effort and reach out to find out more about them.

  171. lil'SB says:

    JC, nah don’t be sorry. That’s JUST what I DON’T want you to be. Be sure about your actions and make sure you don’t do anything you think you’ll be sorry for later because one of the things I dread is making decisions that I’ll regret later or shortchanging myself. It feels bad :(

    With regards to your question, I’d say not necessarily, it could be for the sake of saving time as he types from a mobile phone device (ie Blackberry). Grill deeper and ask him more questions like what his hobbies are, what kind of arrangements he’s looking for, what he can offer you, what he’s doing, and see if you can get a better sense of him. However if he has SO much time to be texting and skyping, the flags would start going up for me and it would discredit his SD-ness because usually SDs are very busy being successful =). However I would probably wait for other SB opinions on this because I’m sure someone may disagree.

    Personally, I’m instantly turned off by chat speak, so I never take those kinds of ‘SDs’ seriously and often ‘forget’ to respond to them =p. Oops! But you never know, I might have missed on some great SD opportunities there. Nevertheless, can’t say I regret it!

  172. JC says:

    Ok, I have another unrelated issue. I am chatting with another sd now. He claims he is in his late 40’s but in his e-mails he uses the words “u” and “urs” quite a bit! I find this rather suspect. I questioned him about it and he claims he texts and is on skype a lot so it is by habit. What do you guys think? Is he believable or a young college guy pretending to be a SD?

  173. JC says:

    lil SB… I am sure SOME SD’s (not all but SOME), don’t care if it’s faked, they just want a hot girl on their arm and hot sex. It seems like quite a bit of guys are looking for just sexual fun on SA. Even though you may feel that is not really a SD relationship… I do realize that is getting into grey semi-escort territory here. Even in a regular SD relationship, we all know that the SD would not be with me if I was not young and attractive and I would not be with him if it were not for his money. I am sorry but that’s the way it is for me. I don’t think a SD expects my complete adoration. Yes, would be probably both be using each other but we’re both getting what we want.

  174. lil'SB says:

    JC, it’s just my understanding that sugar dating is supposed to be ‘sweet’, hence why it’s called ‘sugar’. It ought to be enjoyable for you and, I hope you don’t take offense, it ought to be enjoyable for your SD, and if you’re faking it for him you’re cheating him out of his fair share of sugar. You may think it’s easy to fake it, but if you’re not careful you could slip up and end up worse off than you already are (i.e. lots of hurts feelings).

    But I suppose if you’re going to take what you can get, then the SD may be taking what he can get too. I don’t think I’ve ever been in as tight a bind as you and am unable to comprehend the full extent of your situation, but I just want you to be safe and hope you do the right thing to make yourself truly happy.

  175. lil'SB says:

    Cleo, I must say I’d very much like to meet up and have a little sugar chat, it’d just be so nice to have someone to talk to who understands these kinds of things without my having to elaborate for an hour in delicate and carefully worded sentences! I’m pretty much free all next week, let me know on detour.shortcut on google mail and I’ll give you my REAL email address XD.

    You know what I think would be cute? If we dress up, go to a bar and take glamorous and cute photos to refresh our profiles =D

  176. JC says:

    lil SB, I am aware that MOST SB’s genuinely like their SD’s and enjoy it. As for me, I am different but I can “fake it” so to speak. That doesn’t mean I can’t sugar date. If someone is willing to pay me for my time I can give the appearance of enjoying their company even if my heart is not in it. Sugar Dating CAN help me obtain the money I want, even if YOU feel that sugar dating is not for me.

  177. lil'SB says:

    SincereSD, that sounds absolutely tragic and it must have been difficult for you (and I also feel for the sb who just had her dreams crushed), but didn’t you guys talk about your arrangement in the beginning and agree not to be long term?

  178. lil'SB says:

    Oh JC,…I think your concept of sugar dating is all wrong. Completely wrong. I’m afraid to say sugar dating is not for you and you’re resorting to something that sugar dating cannot help you with.

  179. cleo says:

    sincere i usually want a break from someone after we split but i’m often willing to be friends after that. if she does want to kindle a friendship later there’s a decent chance it’s sincere.

    i’m sorry for your news, i thought you really liked this one.

  180. JC says:


    Honestly, I don’t like the guy and I wouldn’t be sugar dating at ALL if I didn’t need the money. My only motivation is money. I pretty much don’t like anyone, I just need “sugar” right now. If I was making the same amount of money I was a few years ago, I wouldn’t be dating anyone, regular dating or sugar dating period. I would be more than happy doing my own thing alone. I don’t “like” any SD’s, I suppose I could admire someone for their characteristics but I don’t “strongly like” anyone.

  181. SincereSD says:

    Was it Neil Sedaka who sung, “Breaking Up Is Hard To do?”

    I feel like such a heel. SB#1 and I are through. No sharp cuffs across the head as Flo would suggest or mysteriously disappearing into the twilight as some SD would do.

    No, I did the honorable thing and went to talk to her. I cannot believe we are on such a different wavelength. Here she was talking about our (her?) future plans not realizing what was about to happen. The next minute seeing her dreams get shattered and watching the pain of the proverbial dagger. She doesn’t even want the expression of my appreciation (allowance).

    In a flash, it is over and she does not want to talk. The friendship, the good times … just all disappear into thin air. Probably never to be remembered or uttered again.

    Not a happy valentines day for her … or for me.

  182. Chitown SB says:

    cleo, its not just you… pears brought the same imagery to my mind when I first saw it, didn’t even think to assume it was a typo.

  183. cleo says:

    sugarbarbie a lot of sd’s love to have sb’s with ambition, you might mention your dream of owning a restaurant or sometihg like that in your profile.
    just reread what i wrote earlier re my happy dance – that was some illegible english

    i got rid of all the fall seasonal weight gain which makes me very happy. that said, i want to drop a couple of sizes from this and i feel like i’m well on my way :)

    best part i was expecting and still surprised by? i’m already feeling better just from skewing the eating a little healthier… love it.

  184. cleo says:

    JC do you like this guy? if you do i say go for it. which does in fact put me in the minority but wtf. i wouldn’t allow things like exclusivity to be a condition and hey, if the sex is good that’s cool too right?

    don’t test drive for him and don’t rush into bed, make it clear you want to build intimacy not jump off a cliff and land in it.

    if you don’t like him? freaking right the world will still be here tomorrow
    snow babies: weird, there is like NONE here
    i don’t get the lack of pear love

    i get all sorts of really sensual images involving ripe fruit and sweet droplets of juice and two lovers. how can it just be me?

  185. JC says:

    Michael AZSD,

    I don’t want to post my profile #. I want to keep my blog life and my SD dating life separate. I would never want a potential SD to know what I was posting on blogs or know of my personal situation. I want to keep it strictly business.

    I know the 1k is low but I think I wouldn’t regret it. I am not the type of person who has a lot of regrets and I don’t think I would feel “cheap” after wards or anything like that. Also, this potential SD is not from SA but from CL. He’s just a regular guy looking for fun. He lives in an affordable apartment. He is not wealthy. I am not seeking for wealth at this point.

  186. ElegantSugar says:

    Cleo: congrats!

    NYC SB: I love, love, love P90. It truly does transform your body. I do a 3 month rotation of P90 to kettlebells/pilates.

    Kristina: he sounds like a kid and not a SD.

    NJLady: congrats on your exam. Don’t get too upset about your pot SD just yet. Some SDs are operating fast-paced, high stress businesses and things come up all the time. Sure, he should have gotten in touch with you today if he said he was booking your trip to Miami this morning. But give him the benefit of the doubt until you find out why he didn’t follow through.

  187. Michael AZSD says:

    Hey JC – I always give an allowance close to (or sometimes even more) what is asked for, and I pay it forward. My desire is to build trust with my SB, because more trust = more fun. I go out of my way to make sure that whoever I am with feels respected and well-treated, because if they feel that way from me, they will reciprocate.

    Size of allowance? For me, $1k is a red flag. $3-5k is a good mid-range number. I sense that the wolves are at the door, but we can all sense when people are “willing to accept anything”. If you do accept anything, remember 2 things – you will regret it, and people will take advantage of you.

    You have a lot of support here, and a lot of inner strength. As NYCBella suggests, take a deep breath and ride it out. You will be fine.

    What is your profile #?

    Michael AZSD

  188. NJLady says:

    Good evening,

    I need to vent. I wasn’t going to but I need to talk to someone. The pot SD I was emailing back and forth to for 3 hours last night, as stood me up. He asked me to come down to miami this weekend. Said he would call his travel agent this morning. Prior to him asking me, we had a very nice conversation. Nothing rude or crude. I haven’t heard from him all day. If he wasn’t serious why bother asking me. He started out asking me to come down. When would be good time. I suggested in march, he said what about this weekend. I ‘m not upset. The only thing that kept me for not getting upset was getting a 100 on my mid term exam.

    That’s it, going to sleep. Night everyone.

  189. cleo says:

    totally off topic happy dance!

    *happy dance*

    i’m back to my pre-fall weight gain weight! so only 15 pounds to go and xmas is ALL GONE!

    *happy dance*


  190. VA SB says:

    Hi Everyone!

    San Diego SB – he was a jerk and he deserved the margarita on his lap….that’s just ugly to say something like that. Since he already saw your pictures, he knew exactly what you looked like, so for him to say that to you was out of line. A$$wipe….


  191. JC says:


    I don’t know if it raises flags to pay your credit card with cash.

    This is what it says on the irs website though

    One of the types of financial institutions money launderers use are the Money Services Businesses (MSBs) that issue, sell or redeem traveler’s checks or money orders, transmit money, or exchange currency. Since they are targets for money launderers, the Bank Secrecy Act requires MSBs to file suspicious activity reports with the U.S. Department of the Treasury’s Financial Crimes Enforcement Network (FinCEN). Check cashers and sellers and redeemers of stored value are not required to, but may voluntarily file a SAR.

    There are two different dollar thresholds that require a SAR. They depend on the stage of discovery and the type of transaction involved. A $2,000 threshold applies if a customer is conducting or attempting to conduct a transaction(s) that aggregates to $2,000 or more. A threshold of $5,000 applies for transactions identified by issuers of money orders or traveler’s checks from a review of clearance records. These thresholds are known as the $2,000 front door/$5,000 back door rule. The $2,000 front door transactions are face-to-face with the customer. The $5,000 rule applies after the records have been processed at the issuer level, thus the back door.

    So if you buy a lot of money orders etc it could raise a red flag. My rent is around $1100 so hopefully I will be ok if I pay it by money order…

  192. SanDiego sb says:

    whhhhhattt thaaa FFFFFF. uhmmmmm wheres my margarita lol

    (see above for earlier posts)

  193. Kristina says:

    So, I had what I thought was a great date, he tells me once we meet he will be my prince and make all my dreams come true, but now He writes me this:

    Hi baby ,
    I love ya. To many gals that are excited about me w / out the cost. But w the class .
    Sorry we are not on same page

  194. SanDiego sb says:

    i pay my credit card in cash all the time. its easy and its automatic. thats why i do it.

    yea and sd4m has aloottttt of creeps butttt one guy i thought was soooo gorgeous and really wanted him to be my sd at first glance..is seriously on there just to meet girls in a non sd/sb way. and ive met him and hes a good friend of mine. young,cool job, lives 2 block aways from one of my fav stores in hunnington beach.. insannneeee blue eyes. (whyyyy wont he be a sd???? lol )

  195. sugarbarbie says:

    nyc sb i don’t mind at all.

    just got a load of work dropped on my lap check you lovely ladies and gents later. :)

  196. SCB says:

    Hey everyone!

    JC- I just want to let you know that i live within and hour from the OC and my monthly allowance is just over 5k. I know that is more than you are asking for so dont settle for less than your worth. I think that you should take what yo need now and then keep looking.

    Just so the SA world knows, SD4M is full of a lot of creepy guys but they are not all jerks. I met my sd there and he is wonderful. Just use your intuition. If I ever, EVER get a bad feeling I wont follow through. Ive learned the hard way to trust my gut.

    I receive my allowance in cash. I put a small amount of that cash into my savings account and I keep the rest out. I put everything on my credit card and I go into my bank and pay off my credit card with my cash as well. It works for me. Does anyone know if it raises flags to pay off your credit card with cash?

  197. NYC SB says:

    I got the email from you sugarbarbie… with your permission i will share the blog with LASB…

  198. sugarbarbie says:

    I hope i sent the link to the write email. lol I told somebody the other day that i was a raw foodie and they said…”raw foodie so what do you eat?!” I wish i could find a sd that would help me invest in my own raw restaurant that would be a dream come true.

  199. SanDiego sb says:

    omg , i just read sugarb. and NYC sb.. i like raw food but im a whole foods crack addict lol. theres a man here in san diego that has the most amazing food (that you buy pre maid) at our whole food. uuuhhh mazzinnng organice veg/vegan food. loves it. im a tofu fiend too. so if someone can make 10 diff dishes out of tofu and they all tastes different, then hes got my vote

  200. LASB says:

    Sugarbarbie – I’d love to see your raw foods blog too! I will get it from NYC SB, if that’s cool with you.

  201. NYC SB says:

    Sugar Barbie – would love to read your blog… email me if you are willing to share… i need to win the “better body” challenge bw NYC SD and I

  202. sugarbarbie says:

    NYC SB I am a huge Raw foodie too, in fact I write a blog about it lol. but not too found of pears lol I will take some pearls any day.

  203. LASB says:

    Update on the SD4me site. Seems that these guys are mostly entitled jerks. I wonder what that means about the women on the site. Has no one “schooled” these guys on how to be gentleman? One guy said that I needed him to send photos of myself all scantily clad. I said “no thanks, I’m not into pic collectors.” Then he said, “Well if you see who I am and check out my website, you’ll see that I’m not a pic collector.” I don’t see how him being a VP makes him NOT a pic collector. Just because you are successful, doesn’t mean you’re not a complete douche.

    San Diego SB – Like you, I need a break from the pot SD. I’ll probably take the pot IRL male SB out. He doesn’t know he’s a pot SB, but he’s hot, broke, super sweet, and I don’t do Sizzler. I’m feeling a bit like Samantha in Sex in the City, and debating if I want to cross the threshold into Cougarland. I do like the idea of bringing him to all my events since he makes fabulous eye candy.

  204. SanDiego sb says:

    and thank you everyone

  205. SanDiego sb says:

    seriously you can send me lol. the past 2 weeks , ive developed a pretty thick skin for this.

    and the crazy part IRL dating. i do great, no problems at all. its just the jerks with the maybachs that i have a problem with lol

    my vday wil be a IRL date with someone i really like and both of us need a lil financial help, sooooo its a good thing all these bad pot dates ive been on in the past week had a lil prize at the end for “my time” and thats literally paying for my vday weekend lol (my dress heels everything)

    put all the money i got together from these men and it was literally an allowance lol

    crazy how things turn out.

  206. LASB says:

    San Diego SB – I’d like to send you out on some of the pot dates I’ve been offered. I’d love for you to teach the sans panties guy and other wall of shamers a lesson. :)

  207. ElegantSugar says:

    Greetings Sugar Family,

    Finally home from Chicago. It was c-c-c-o-o-o-l-d, but sunny. I got my foie gras fix at Epic; what a great restaurant. The view of Lake Michigan from my room was beautiful. Even more so because of the cracked sheets of ice floating about. The only problem was I enjoyed the view for far too long before going to bed, which resulted in a Titanic-like dream of me being in the frozen lake. I was in a white dress in the frozen lake with no way out. Just like Rose from Titanic. Only without Jack (DiCaprio) and without the strength of wonder woman to swim in the frozen water to another dead body (because there weren’t any in my dream), nor the strength to blow a whistle for help. Eerie. Perhaps I shouldn’t drink blueberry acai martinis so late. I hear blueberries give strange effects while in R.E.M. causing bizarre dreams at times.

    Looks like I missed a lot while gone. Wow. The Swingin’ Lawyer had some interesting viewpoints. So, he thinks the idea of an arrangement is dying in the same way video killed the radio star, huh? (for you trivia buffs, I am referring to the song recorded by the Buggles and the first music video ever shown on MTV in 1981.) Did you guys know that the first published mention of an arrangement in history dates back to 1611? And then what about Cleopatra? She had an arrangement with Julias Ceasar and then with Mark Antony. Without her liaisons with these two men, she would not have kept her crown. Anyway, I don’t think the comparisons of the horse and buggy, yellow pages, craigslist, porn and whatnot quite touch on the fact that arrangements are dealing with human emotions. As long as human emotions don’t die out, we will always find the cycle of arrangements on earth. *Well, unless Roxxxy takes over then we SBs are screwed.

    HappyLurker – interesting bit on Louis Vuitton & Chanel. Sugars, the best way to know if the LV you bought is fake: if the handles are wrapped in plastic or the hardware is wrapped in tissue. Usually, authentic Louis Vuitton handbags will have handles made out of genuine rolled cowhide and they will NOT be wrapped in any kind of plastic or bubble wrap. OH, and if you bought in Chinatown.

    Going out to dinner with friends now. Oh, and I would probably donate a kidney for cash before EVER selling my Louboutins. Just sayin’.

    *See NYC SB’s blog.

  208. ESB says:

    SD sb: I just looked at your profile.. and where are you to big? He is crazy. Do NOT let that get you down girl. You are beautiful!! His loss, move on!!

  209. Flo Rida says:

    SanDiego SB – Try shouting ‘Hey does anybody have some coke (blow), the old fat guy wants a line’.

  210. San Diego sb: anyone who says you are too big for them is crazy! You are a hot mama!!! I woulda done the same thing!! Also, I agree causing a scene is worth it! (I make scenes a lot a la toddler when they dont get their way)

    esb: thats what I’m saying. Pay to see the snow if you like it…or the rest of us warm weather fans can have the warm weather for free! :)

  211. ESB says:

    LOL.. love it when a woman gets her back up… preach it to us SD sb. I’m loving it. I am the worlds biggest mouse, or used to be. Since leaving my hubby, I have learned just how much I WILL NOT tolerate anymore. Feels good to take control of my life.

  212. SanDiego sb says:

    oops black “card”

  213. SanDiego sb says:

    if someone EVER tries to purposely hurt your feelings… i think its worth the scene, because obviously they thought that 30 seconds of saying whatever they had to say was going to make them feel better about themselves. you need to let them know they obviously dont know who theyre talking to right now. i dont care about the stupid golden rule “whoever makes the gold makes the rules” , ohhh btw the pot said to me the other night because i wouldnt go blonde for him.

    nooooooooo doll face you may have the gold, but WE make the rules without us (sbs,women,wifes,gfs,mistresses) whom ever, these rich wealthy men would have nothing but theyre black car and theyre left/right hand and a dvd every night, and ill be dammed if someone thinks they could put me down.

    we are ALL too good for that.

  214. ESB says:

    OOPs. NOW freezing, scratch “not”

  215. ESB says:

    SD sb: I so wish I could have seen that. I’ll remember that next time a man humiliates me in public.

    NYC Bella: Love the pear fetish idea… aka whipped cream. I can see that being fun!! 😉

    Dream Princess: I’d pay to NOT see snow again any time soon. I got stuck pulling back into the drive way tonight. What melted earlier is not freezing, so my driveway is a ice rink! JOY!!

  216. NYC SB says:

    SD SB – you have more guts than I ever will… When a pot told me that I just sat there because I didnt want to cause a scene…

  217. NYCBella says:

    SDSB~I’ve always wanted to do that! (When deserved, of course) Good for you, but sorry you went through all of that. NEXT!

  218. SanDiego sb says:

    soo after a pot pursuing me for weeks through emails, i finally gave in ( he only lived like 10 mins from me anyway) and my BS/fake/flake meter can only take so much and its not that im an angry girl. and pardon my bad language sugars.. i just dont take any shit from any man.

    soooo we finally met at a gross restaurant. and the first thing he says to me ”your a little too big for me” uhmmmmmm you didnt know this prior to me comming with the 10 pics i sent to you that arnt misleading at all and have been taken in the past 3 months?.

    he had a margarita already, so i told him that hes missing something in between his legs.. his balls and i could help him with that.. dumped margarita alllllll over his pants. it might not have been the classiest thing to do and childish , but im not going to lie. it felt great and maybe he’ll think twice before wasting another sbs time and not to put her down.

  219. NYCBella says:

    NYC SB~Hmmm….pear fetish…how would that work exactly…ooh! You could do a pear bikini! (ala Whipped Cream Bikini) 😉

  220. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    You mentioned being on the edge of bankruptcy? I would have qualified for bankruptcy when I stopped paying my credit cards 3 years ago but since I couldn’t afford a lawyer, I have been dodging lawsuits for 3 years.

  221. NYC SB says:

    I WAS in debt… thus the “Been there” preface on my reply

    I am out of debt now and the louboutins were gifts from my SDs

  222. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    That’s a great idea spoiledlilbrat

  223. spoiledlilbrat says:

    NYC sb- if you are so in debt why not just sell all of your Louboutins??

  224. NYC SB says:

    Flo – maybe i can have him develop a pear fetish… just to keep the statement true

  225. Flo Rida says:

    JC – why don’t you use the allowance to pay the IRS? as said before it’s not income.

    NYC SB – I knew it was pearls – just poking fun at you.

    IRLSD – I now think I know what you do but I won’t list it on the blog – it doesn’t really matter, just curious as to how someone can discuss SB drama openly at work in 2010.

    I skim read blog only so sorry if I missed anything. Stay warm!

  226. I thought it snowed a lot here until I saw pictures of what its like over there! I think snow should be a luxury you have to pay a lot of money to see and be in, wouldn’t that be great if it only snowed in the mountains so we could all still ski (hey, a girl can dream) I have been spending most of the winter so far in AZ though (thank god). Wow is that a good place to look for sugar!! Already found mine, but I can just see the opportunity waiting there!

  227. NYCBella says:

    Oops…typo “Who MOVED my Cheese?”

  228. NYCBella says:

    JC~very cool. It’s difficult in this economy. I’ve known so many people who have found themselves out of work after 15+yrs at their financial firms and they find it so hard to just dust themselves off, pick themselves up and start fresh. But sometimes, you have to get flexible and start feeling out new options. There’s a book called “Who Stole My Cheese” that is awesome…all about freeing your mindset so that you can change directional course and start looking for the next big ‘cheese’ in your life when the old cheese has turned moldy or just simply run out. You can get it at amazon for like $5.

  229. JC says:


    Thank :) That does give me a better perspective, “Just because I might be late on rent a few days, the world will not stop spinning”. That’s very true. All our own problems are insignificant in the grand universe. I realize what you’re saying; that there’s always a possibility to make something new happen or find a way out :) I’ll keep that in mind.

  230. NYCBella says:

    DP/ESB~I know!!! I can’t believe how much snow we’ve gotten this year. Just shoveled out the last of it but it’s gonna take a week to melt off…grrr. 😉

  231. ESB says:

    Dreamy Princes: about the snow. You’d have to be here! Crazy mess is a pretty good way of saying though!! I was told that this is the worst winter here since 1899!! Now that is crazy!!

  232. ESB says:

    This is all very interesting about the possible tax consequences of sugar land. I’m a 1099 employee, so I have to pay taxes on all my income. SO not looking forward to that>/b> bill this year. So, if I get my SD to pay me weekly, that won’t look as suspicious. Or put all the $$ in money orders to pay my bills, I should be ok. I need $$ to pay off my debt. Then I guess I can still use the cash for groceries, gas (I seriously spend ~$200 month in gas!) and other incidentals. Don’t like the idea of “hiding” the money, but I’m not really doing that. Got enough money going to the IRS as it is.

  233. How romantic of a sugar are you?
    I’m not a particularly romantic person, but I am quite affectionate when I have feelings for someone. I like to snuggle up and touch them lots.

    Are you seeking or planning anything with a sugar this Valentines Day weekend?

    My sugar and I are going to a little b&b here in my town. Its an old mansion in one of my favorite neighborhoods converted. Read a lot about them on trip advisor, and it sounds like its going to be great! Cannot wait!

    What is the perfect Valentines Day gift for a sugar daddy or sugar baby?

    I think the perfect gift for the man who can buy anything he dreams about is all about relaxation and pleasure. His birthday is also on Friday (eek, thats tomorrow!) so I plan on giving him a nice massage with yummy candles while I am wearing something sexy. Putting on some nice relaxing music, and just showing him how deep my affections for him are.

    PS, I feel for anyone who is in the Northeast part of the country! It looks like a crazy cold winter mess!! xo

  234. ESB says:

    Afternoon Sugar Land!

    anyone who wants snow, come to MD, we have plenty to go around… but you might want to hurry. The temp today is already 36, and it ‘s melting!! YEAH!! that means floods next week. BOOO

    Any SD out there who just feels the need to spoil a much in need SB wanna be… I would give anything for a sexy li’l tractor, don’t care what brand it is, just as long as it has the power to push a snow blade! Yes, it has to come with a snow blade and a mower deck. Gotta get some use out of it in the summer, too. My back is killing me. If we get anymore snow, I’m going to sit down and just cry. I refuse to shovel one more scoop of snow. (sigh, but will if I have to :( )

  235. NYCBella says:

    JC~at the end of the day, you have to do you…making a quick buck is what it is, but personally, I don’t want to wake up one day and regret choices I’ve made in my life (food for thought).

    I decided a long time ago that I wouldn’t let myself be stressed out because of money. Just because I might be late on rent a few days, the world will not stop spinning. If I don’t have enough for a few meals here and there, life will still continue. Each new day presents us with new possibilities.

    My gf, actually text me earlier asking how she could make some cash quick (she’s a bartender so each night there’s generally cash she’ll take home)…I told her, well, you do have some options if you’re desperate…pawn some jewelry, turn some tricks or just breathe and ride it out. (Don’t think she likes option B, but I’ve seen girls get to a point where they’re willing to do anything cause they loose sight of the big picture…again, watch out for that nasty word called REGRETS.) At some point, you have to plan things out rather than just living from moment to moment.

  236. NYCBella says:

    It always seems like there’s never ending paperwork…ugh…to be self-employeed. 😉

  237. NYCBella says:

    NYC SB~Oh, yeah…forgot about the form part…with consultations/websites I often get paid cash (have had to do forms for nearly 10 yrs for both freelance and acting gigs so I take that part for granted…my attorney (now ex bf), just always told me to keep my monthly deposits under 10K.

  238. NYC SB says:

    NYCBella – actually 4k trigers a flag… 10k requires a form… my sister worked in a bank so i know all about it

  239. NJLady says:

    Afternoon Sugar’s,

    Storm has ended, the clean up begin. Cancelled with the other guy. Used the weather as an excuse. Not sure if he a SD. Waiting to hear from my pot in Miami. He’s suppose to be making travel arrangements for this weekend. Not that I would not like to go to a climate that is warmer than hear. Getting ready and going to the airport in all of this mess doesn’t appeal to me. The only reason this weekend would be good, I have a 4 day weekend, no school Monday. A lot to think about.

    I’ve been reading the blogs about the arrangemen, (money) and IRS. Correct me, (somebody) if I’m wrong. But if the monthly allowance we’re asking for is 3k, instead of it all in one lump sum, it would be better to receive $750 a week. So the bank won’t get suspicious.
    I’m asking, because, suppose, (just suppose) I go to Miami and everything works out with my pot SD and we make an arrangement. Since he lives far, would that be better. If the money comes in the form of a money order, would I still have to claim that to the irs. If the money is considered a “gift” do you still have to claim it? Confusing.

  240. NYC SB says:

    JC – I am very sympathetic of your situation being at the verge of bankruptcy myself … however, be careful… dont take whatever you can get… it will not be worth it in the long run… trust me on this

  241. NYCBella says:

    Oops…typo…nix the first “work”

  242. NYCBella says:

    Afternoon, all!

    Lil SB~Interesting point. Kinda like, why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free.

    Also, with regards to the IRS/cash deposit situation (as an actress, sometimes work I’ve done freelance work that has been off the books), a friend of mine who is in a line of business that deals with this sort of thing told me another red flag is if monthly deposits that are made are always of the same amount (ex: 7,500 a month for 12 months) becomes suspicious; however if deposits are under 10K a month and the amounts vary, then it’s less suspicious. Just food for thought. And, maybe someone else knows more about this than I do?

  243. nycsb #2 says:

    I personally won’t negotiate. I have my set amount and I won’t settle for anything less, plus what I’m asking for should be chump change for a wealthy man…

    DON’T SETTLE FOR LESS! That’s my motto!

  244. lil'SB says:

    I’ve been noticing that SBs are rather reluctant to negotiate their allowances and gifts. I understand that in JC’s case, she’s rather desperate and I see that you’re afraid to risk making a request that will offend the SD. However, (and I don’t mean to generalize) it feels like a lot of women seem afraid to negotiate for a better deal even if they weren’t desperate and I think SDs realize that and will take advantage.

    Any thoughts on that?

  245. JC says:

    IRLSD, I realize cash can be turn to money orders to pay bills. All my bills are paid automatically out of my bank account via recurring billing. It’s too much trouble to pay them separately each month. It’s ok though, I’ll make it work somehow.

  246. Kristina says:

    Is anyone on here in the dallas texas area? I would love to meet new friends male or female just to talk about the lifestyle and bounce ideas off each other. I do not have anyone I can share my stories with right now without being judged.

  247. JC says:

    LASB, good idea… it’s just that I only spend about $200 a month on groceries, hardly any month on gas (I work from home and never drive anywhere, no social life). I don’t spend that much in day to day living…

    That is a good idea though. I just don’t need 1k a month on “extras”, I’d rather that go to bills. I am sure I can put $500 of that on a reloadable visa with no problem so I think it will work out ok :)

    I hope I don’t get a SD who wants to give me 3k a month because that would create too many headaches.

  248. IRLSD says:

    Also, cash can be turned into money orders, which if under 2000/day, are not reported but can be used to pay off all bills, rent, car payment, etc, etc.

  249. IRLSD says:

    JC, your problem is a bit tough because the IRS might be interested in knowing the source of your money.

    Now if you’re getting $1000 per month, you can get it in any form you want and call it a gift because it is under the $13000/year gift tax threshold and there is no issue with that whatsoever. Also if you have 10 SDs who each give you gifts of 13000/year it is fine. In fact, if one SD gives you a gift of 1 million, you are not liable to tax. By labelling it a gift, he is liable to gift tax not the recipient. But if it is charitable giving to a mistress because the man feels sorry for her, the courts have ruled that it is not a gift for purposes of gift tax but rather a non-deductible charity.

  250. SanDiego sb says:

    good morning / afternoon sugars.. not to bring everyone down but….

    alexander mcqueen died =[

    my major is fashion design and i can def say this made me very sad this morning.

  251. LASB says:

    IRLSD – Yes, keeping cash unreported is illegal, but it’s not that hard to get away with according to some. Personally, I claim everything because I like to stay out of the databases.

    JC – How about using the 1k to purchase incidentals like groceries, gas, and things you need day to day. Then use what’s “on the books” to pay rent and the IRS.

  252. nycsb #2 says:

    OH WAIT: It’s not morning! AFTERNOON!!! :)

  253. nycsb #2 says:


    I’m procrastinating on writing my essay by reading this blog… shame on me!

    How romantic of a sugar are you?
    I am so romantic and love romance, but like LASB mentioned, it would take a special someone to get that side out of me!

    Are you seeking or planning anything with a sugar this Valentines Day weekend?
    NOPE! Will see my gift SD for date #2 on Friday though… BF on the side hasn’t even mentioned it either, he has a busy travel/work schedule-blah blah blah… trust me, I am very understanding when it comes to his ‘schedule’. I have V-day all ready for him too with lingerie, candy/chocolate, handcuffs :X, card… le sigh* I’ll prob end up eating chocolate by myself or something!

    What is the perfect Valentines Day gift for a sugar daddy or sugar baby?
    Would love to own my first pair of Louboutins… HELP HELP NYC SB! Hahaha, a girl can wish right? His/her couples massage, chocolate covered strawberries, champagne: cheesy huh? HAHAHA!

  254. JC says:

    Maybe I should just ask the SD to send checks to irs for me? Just directly? lol

  255. JC says:


    So how do we not hide it from the government? Just deposit it in my accout even though the irs may be monitoring my bank account? I doubt they do since I don’t owe millions but I owe them a significant amount that will take me YEARS to pay off.

  256. JC says:

    IRLSD, I cannot keep cash in a safety box in a bank because I’m on installment payments with the irs. I just don’t feel safe. They have my account numbers. I will use all my sugar money to pay off my tax debt. That’s the only reason why I’m into this whole SD/SB thing.

  257. IRLSD says:

    But also remember that while him paying you lots of cash may be legal and not liable to tax, hiding it in and of itself is illegal because it is money laundering. Unfortunately, even if the money is legit, hiding it from the govt is not.

  258. JC says:


    Hi, I’m in OC and the cost of living is high here as well. My rent is cheap though, I was lucky enough to find a safe place for around 1k, it’s just shabby looking on the outside but it’s not unsafe or anything like that. Other than that I don’t shop, don’t eat out and live very frugally so I can get by on very little. I could probably cut my rent by 60% if I lived with a roommate or rented a room somewhere.

  259. IRLSD says:

    JC, it all depends on what the bank considers suspicious. $500/week might not be suspicious but $2000 all at once might be. It depends on the neighborhood as well. I get $4000 in cash from the bank in my fairly well-off neighborhood almost every week or two and it doesn’t seem to make them suspicious, but once I went to another branch and she kept me waiting forever, presumably because she was suspicious.

    The best for storing cash is a safety deposit box at the bank and then put a reasonable amount on these reloadable visas, etc.

  260. IRLSD says:

    LASB, anything over 2K that is suspicious to a money service business must be reported (look up “suspicious activity report”). But keeping cash transactions under that is illegal (look up “smurfing”).

  261. JC says:


    For about a month but I have been spent hours reading the blog comments here and other SB blogs and I am well aware that most SB consider 1k for that many meetings way too low and that many consider p4p unacceptable. However, I am desperate right now and at the verge of ending up in a very bad situation so I don’t have any choice but to take anything I can get. I cannot afford to have high standards of be picky at this point.


    Thank you for the insight in regards to my previous comments. Do you think the banks would consider filing a suspicious activity report on a reloadable visa that gets loaded every month if the amount is higher than 2k? I don’t think it’s safe to carry that much cash around. I just have concerns that it might arouse suspicions to keep reloading thousands on a reloadable visa.

  262. LASB says:

    Oh, hey Chitown! Turbo Tax has never cooperated with me. At the end, there is always all these so-called “errors” but I just turn it in anyhow. :)

    Ok, really now. I’m off!

  263. LASB says:

    (Crickets chirping) I guess that’s a sign that it’s time for me to go to work. Have a great day everyone!

  264. Chitown SB says:

    Urg, turbo tax is NOT cooperating this morning, neither is my cat… I think both woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

    How is everyone else?

    No new snow here in the windy city, but still pretty darn cold!

  265. LASB says:

    How romantic of a sugar are you?
    I’m pretty damn romantic, but it take a special person before I reveal that side fully.

    Are you seeking or planning anything with a sugar this Valentines Day weekend?
    It’s possible, but more likely to happen with my pot SB than my pot SD.

    What is the perfect Valentines Day gift for a sugar daddy or sugar baby?
    I like IRLSDs thinking on this one. I’m a very practical person, so something practical combined with something pampering for him AND for me. For gifts, I typically give consumables or something that results in experiences, like opera, concert or theatre tickets, restaurant gift certificates, and other wacky stuff that doesn’t clutter one’s place.

  266. LASB says:

    IRLSD, JC – From what I understand, the amount isn’t actually $10K. They just tell you that, but are really monitoring for a smaller amount to catch people that are hip to the law. I believe it’s something like 8200.

  267. LASB says:

    Good morning everyone!

    NYC SB – I love raw foods! There are a few really great raw foods restaurants in California. There’s an awesome un-cook book by Cafe Gratitude. They have great sauces, soups, salads, etc.

    JC – My profile has an allowance range of 3-5. It’s expensive to live here and I want to weed out the riff raff. I believe the 1kers are mostly riff raff, though I did meet one exception.

    I just heard really sad news that Alexander McQueen committed suicide. :( I love his line. I really need to stop watching the news.

  268. IRLSD says:

    JC, I think your concerns on the previous blog are all very valid. As for taxes, the courts have ruled in U.S. vs Harris that transfers to mistresses are not income. It is a non-deductible charity, not a gift or income. The court concluded that “[S]imply put, the record before us does not establish beyond a reasonable doubt that Kritzik’s (SD) intent was to pay Harris (SB) for her services, rather than out of affection or charitable impulse”.

    Now, no one wants to be the SD or SB who is dragged to court over this, so keep it all cash. Banks are supposed to report any suspicious activity over $2000, any cash transaction over $10,000, and any money exchange over $1,000 (e.g. turning 1100 in 20s into 1100 in 100s).

    As for the prostitution issue, do not have a cash-for-sex deal, but a cash-for-companionship deal, which is legal. Now if two companions cannot control their sexual desires for one another, there is no law prohibiting them from having sex, hence how escorts are considered legal.

  269. CA Dramin SB says:

    Well, as long as I’m wishing…

    I want some snow, and a Valentine, and a great SD

  270. CA Dramin SB says:

    Morning all…I want some snow too!

  271. NC Gent says:

    Yes NYC SB — very interesting – also interesting how we are running almost parallel paths but on different sides of the sugar table :)

  272. Lily / IRLSB says:

    JC, how long have you been seeking an arrangement?

  273. NYC SB says:

    SDn – I am on a raw food kick… so if you bring me fruits, veggies and salmon i will be a super happy SB… maybe you get to witness the snow angels as well… just remember you can only take pictures with your eyes 😉

    Hiya NC – seeing NYSE this weekend for the conference… interesting how things pan out right?

  274. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    NYC SB: So if I bring you produce you would be a happy SB?

  275. The Lone Gunman says:

    Geez—it is seriously snowing outside my window here in North Central Texas.

    I feel like I’m trapped in a sno-globe…


  276. JC says:

    NC Gent,

    I’m ok if he disappears shortly as long as I get my allowance. It doesn’t sound harsh, I realize some people want sexual thrills etc.

    I don’t think he will give me the full month’s allowance but will prefer to split it up. He’s a middle-class income SD, not a high earner.

  277. NYC SB says:

    You know… I misspell something once and it gets plastered as a blog topic…

    My SD is NOT getting pears but rather PEARLS … thanks Flo for correcting me…

    Actually since his impulsive trip purchases for this weekend, I wont even be able to see him as I have another commitment on Sunday during the day (conference)… so we got snowed in together yesterday… ended up having a snowball fight… I lost… and as my punishment I had to do naked snow angels at the roof of his building (jumped in the hot tub right after) … it was a lovely day 😀

    The trench coat act will have to wait for when he returns from what was supposed to be OUR first trip together

  278. NC Gent says:

    JC — I have an SB out west. We see each other for 2-3 days at a time, about 6 times a year when she travels with me on business. I give her $1000 for each trip plus all expenses and entertainment. I also help her if she gets into a tight spot on an as-needed basis. She really isn’t into luxuries, and is looking for mini-vacations and enough help to get by, somewhat like you. We truly enjoy spending time with each other, and it seems to work for both of us. I think you will find that you are on the low-end for allowance, not only for LA but for all of the country, but if it works for you, that is what is important. There are all sorts of sugar arrangements, and there are not set rules.

    My only caution to you would be that he may disappear after a month or two because if he is looking for that many visits over that short of time, he may be looking for the thrill of sex with someone new. I hope I am wrong and I know that sounds harsh, but just something to think about. I would recommend getting your entire allowance upfront in this case because it really isn’t that much money you are seeking.

  279. cleo says:

    JC i look at this a bit differently. i don’t count the hours and match it up to an escort because escorts may have sex as many times and get paid more but all those times are with different people.

    not judgine, have several friends in the business.

    so to ME what works for you is what works for you. sure i have a fantasy that some guy will whisk me off to a crazy life filled with travel and great food and adventure and excellent sex and good silence and easy conversation.

    the reality is different, i would be perfectly content with a ‘low end’ arrangement… and since we’re suposed to LIKE these men so should anyone who is close to getting by.

    that said, some sb’s can’t and some won’t accept that. they are either living the lifestyle hard and trying to get bank before they get old or they are fully pulling themselves up by their own bootstraps and want an SD more for the mentor aspect than anything…

    whatever floats your boat milady, or as the awol long gunman would say? we all want different things! if you’re happy that’s all that matters so long as you feel respected and well treated.

  280. IRLSD says:

    How romantic of a sugar are you?

    With my IRL SB, I was super-romantic. Lots of love, romantic little gifts, and many poems. We were both crazy in love. Since then I’ve tried to tone down the romantic side.

    Are you seeking or planning anything with a sugar this Valentines Day weekend?

    I was not, but it just turned out that I might meet my SB this weekend. But I had nothing planned, so it will be something low-key. I gave her Valentine’s gifts yesterday, thinking I might not see her till after Valentine’s.

    What is the perfect Valentines Day gift for a sugar daddy or sugar baby?

    I think SDs don’t need Valentine’s gifts. Seriously, the day is for girls not guys. I am a fairly practical yet somewhat romantic person, so I got my SB a massage at a spa and a GPS so I don’t worry about her getting lost. Maybe I need to get her more…

  281. IRLSD says:

    JC, different SBs are looking for different things. Some just want their bills paid and to have the stress of overdue rent and credit card bills gone. Others want something above and beyond—the nice shoes, expensive purses, amazing travel, etc. Personally, I prefer the former as their needs are easier for me to grasp and to provide for. Luxuries are a bottomless pit from my perspective, whereas the necessities and common comforts are easy for me to understand and provide for.

  282. JC says:

    Just curious, what are you other SB’s around OC or LA asking for allowance. The cost of living here is higher than in most other parts but even so I’m ok with 1k a month even though it only covers my rent (barely) and nothing else but I’m ok with that. I don’t need a SD to pay ALL my bills, just a small percentage of it.I am ok with being a “minimum wage SB” even if others scoff at that and say “you could do better”. Any money to me is better than nothing. Just curious what other SB’s in the same area I am are asking for allowance wise.

  283. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Hey all. Working and lurking today. Haven’t had time to read the blog let alone contribute.

  284. ESB says:

    Good morning, sugar world! I hope everyone is warm. I’m still snowed in. Just so tired of shoveling snow. I hurt all over.

    How romantic of a sugar are you? I am the hopeless romantic type. Give me roses, (apricot are my fav.), dark chocolate, (Godiva!), some pretty lacy thing to wear for my SD, champagne, nice crackling fire to warm my toes… I think at this point, I’d settle for the fire!

    Are you seeking or planning anything with a sugar this Valentines Day weekend? Unfortunately not.

    What is the perfect Valentines Day gift for a sugar daddy or sugar baby? Im not sure, it really does depend on the person. I like to get to know someone, find out what they like, then find the perfect gift to fit that person.

  285. VA SB says:

    Hi Sugar-Family!!! It’s good to “see” you guys again (bwah ha ha ha)!

    Well, I just finished reading the previous blog and stopped by here to see what everyone is up to. As you know, it’s been snowing like crazy here in the D-M-V and I’ve been holed up since last FRIDAY!!! I’m DYING over here….

    I’ve cleaned my house from top to bottom, exercised almost daily (which is a good thing), read six books, and wrote / published two stories (I write romance / erotica – NOT about the sugar world, so I’m not getting stories from the blog). I’m getting a bit of cabin fever though and I’m so ready to go back to work. Isn’t that some sh*t???

    So, as for the questions…no sugar plans for Valentine’s day. Things have taken a downturn. Although I’m talking to two pot SDs, I’m not getting my hopes up, so I’m keeping it rather low-key right now. We’ll see how things progress as time goes on. Although to answer one of the other questions, I’m a very romantic SB, I LOVE romance and the whole concept of being romantic. I’m such a softie, I know.

    So, I have to get on a conference call now for work (Ugh!!), I’ll check in later…


  286. Happy Lurker says:

    Again a slow wake-up in sugar land for you, I hope.
    It struck me that the tone and stories on the blog developed in a totally different direction over the course of this year.
    Do have a look at February 2009, as I did and read the Valentine’s wish there.
    Nice contrast isn’t it ?
    Have a great sugar day !

  287. Happy Lurker says:

    Welcome to the wonderful dream world of sugar.
    Yes, Valentine and the Chinese New Year and SBs and Luis Vuitton and Chanel Cinq. Great mixture for the coming weekend.
    When flying to London last week I picked up inspiration for this post.
    The KLM magazine mentions that the signature Louis Vuitton was developed to prevent counterfeiting, yet nowdays it has become the one of the most copied brands in the world with an estimate of 1 percent of all Vuitton goods in circulation being genuine. So 99 % is fake. Chanel Cinq is still the world’s most popular perfume with sale so about ten million bottles per year, story not much different. So order your Vuitton and Chanel for your SB quickly from those Chinese websites. Then you have the “genuine” article to surprise her.
    I had a great laugh about it when I read it in that KLM magazine.
    Typically sugar style, the world wants to be cheated.

  288. cleo says:

    [single rose or something super simple and classic? also good]

    lol okay i’m going to bed now.

  289. cleo says:

    [i don’t mind lame and extravagant on valentine’s day, i mind when it’s an afternoon coffee date in the few hours i have between other things]

  290. cleo says:

    hey kiki and lil’sb let’s have coffee next week? we’ll plan a real toronto meet for when it’s warmer. taz when are you in town again, maybe we could plan around that?

    god i have to work soon but i just finished work!

    in other news, i had a non-sugar date today… and i have another date, with that same person on sunday.

    dear universe: please let him NOT do anything lame and extravagant

  291. lil'SB says:

    Oh! Hello there fellow torontonian brethren! Bienvenue~

    If indeed you’re in Toronto, I guess you must be another nocturnal creature like me. It’s nearly 3am already, and I’m still lurking around myself =p

  292. Kiki says:

    hey ladies and gents.. i finally just caught up on the old blog after a 5 day hiatus — so forgive me for being a little bit behind — i am a torontonian (almost), too! i’d be very interested in a T.O. meet :) and for Cleo GO LEAFS GO!!! congrats to everyone who recently celebrated victory (lawsuits, newly acquired SDs and the saints :P) good night

  293. lil'SB says:

    Chinese new year IS on valentine’s day. This means some people already have plans made for them by their families XD

    How romantic of a sugar are you?
    -Oooo I range from cozy, warm and fuzzy romantic to rock’em wild romantic and any shade in between.

    Are you seeking or planning anything with a sugar this Valentines Day weekend?

    What is the perfect Valentines Day gift for a sugar daddy or sugar baby?
    -Ah, that’s a ‘depends on the person’ kind of question. I would imagine that the sugar daddy wouldn’t mind lots of good ol’ fashioned affection and attention to boost his ego while the sugar baby would really appreciate some REALLY shiny things. The best gift of all would be the kind shared by both parties however, such as the time spent together enjoying each other’s company, whether you’re in a hot tub in Vegas or a cozy cafe in Paris.

  294. NJLady says:

    He’s inviting me this weekend V-day. When I wrote and mention did know it was V-day, he wrote back…”I heard rumors”. Okay. I have a good friend who lives near Miami, I could let her know I will be there, just in case. Thanks, I hope this works out.

  295. JC says:

    I’m all about survival now, getting a SD and a little bit of an allowance so I can make the rent or bills. I don’t care about Louboutins or even shoes from Forever21 at this point. I can’t even think of luxuries right now and I wouldn’t dare to ask for luxuries because I feel that is too extravagant for where I’m at in life. Just enough to help cover some of my bills is good enough. I don’t expect a sd to pay ALL my bills, just a part of it. Pretty much anything will do at this point.

  296. Chitown SB says:

    NJ, Is he inviting you this weekend because its V-day? I think you should follow your gut and intuition. Be safe, if you do choose to travel.

    Some tips I can pass along from some of the more experienced SBs on here:
    1. Get a ticket and flight itinerary conformation in YOUR name, you can confirm this with the airline. (make sure you have a round-trip ticket)
    2. Get a hotel room in your name, but verify it will be paid for by HIM.
    3. Have enough money to make an escape, and preferably a friend in the city should you need a backup plan.

    Remember, you are being smart by asking for these things, not demanding or unreasonable.

    Only you can know what is best… either way, I hope this one turns out to be a good catch. Miami has got to be nicer than NJ right now. If it was me, I’d give myself 24hrs to think about it… but that’s just me, I tend to act too quickly on sheer adrenaline otherwise. Good luck!

  297. Kristina says:

    I will keep you posted !

  298. NJLady says:

    Ok, I guess everyone left.

  299. NJLady says:

    Stupid me forgot it’s VALENTINE DAY weekend

  300. NJLady says:

    Hey Chitown SB- do you think it’s too soon to meet an pot? He lives in Miami, we have been chatting for 3 hours now and he invited me to come see him this weekend. I don’t want to seem to eager.

  301. Chitown SB says:

    Flo, sorry our city was so cold… it does that sometimes.

    How romantic of a sugar are you?
    More than I care to admit, even if only to myself.

    Are you seeking or planning anything with a sugar this Valentines Day weekend?
    I had plans with Pot. SD, but now he has to work so he can’t come into Chicago for the weekend…very sad

    What is the perfect Valentines Day gift for a sugar daddy or sugar baby?
    I think NYC SB nailed it (hehe) and to make it even better, her SD would have bought the lingerie, trenchcoat and louboutins for her…with more to come.

  302. NJLady says:

    I have been chatting with I hope a pot SD. It is going very well!

  303. photogirl says:

    Flo – I believe pears was meant to be pearls, unless of course I am missing something as well…

    Hi Muse

  304. Flo Rida says:

    Hi Muse – night muse – night photogirl – keep warm! All I can say is poor poor DC – Baltimore.

  305. Flo Rida says:

    photogirl – am I missing something – what’s the attraction to pears?

    Also chicago is also cold but at least it stopped snowing there.

    After I defrost i’m going to bed. ciao peeps

  306. Muse says:

    Aw Flo…we didn’t have enough red carpet to lay out for your arrival, so we rolled out the nice thick white one for you. We’re so efficient, we blanketed the city. 😀

    hey photogirl.

  307. photogirl says:

    Right there with ya… No sugar planned for Valentine’s Day here either.

    I do like NYCSB’s idea :)

  308. Flo Rida says:

    I get back to New York and it’s freezing freezing freezing, I should have stayed in Chicago. i’ll take second to muse anyday.

    On Valentines day I am usually pleasantly surprised that men are not evil (well not all of the time anyway). Also this year Chinese new year is close to V-day (not sure exact day) – always a good excuse to celebrate (again).

    Ciao peeps

  309. Muse says:

    I have no sugar planned for Valentine’s Day but I’m first! Wheee!!