9 years ago
Sugar Dating at a Glance

9 years ago
Sugar Dating at a Glance

Lots of newbie Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies wonder how long it will take to find a mutually beneficial arrangement, yet unfortunately, success is hard to predict in Sugarland.

There are plenty of wise sugars on this blog who have noticed patterns in their sugar dating life, such as the best days of the week to email potential sugars, when to update profile pictures, and how to tell if a potential sugar is  ‘real’ or ‘fake’.

Do you have any helpful hints for newbie Sugar Daddies or Sugar Babies?

How long have you been sugar dating?

What is your idea of a perfect arrangement?

Leave a Reply

364 Responses to “Sugar Dating at a Glance”

  1. newlatinSB(F) says:

    So I’m kinda new to this site. I tried it once before and got scared away. I thought I met a great SD. I told him what my expectations were up front. He flew out to visit me and invited me to his hotel. I went over and all he wanted to do was keep me locked in his hotel room. He never changed out of his lounging clothes and sat around on his computer the whole time. He asked me about ten more times what my expectation was. I got the feeling that he just wanted to make me his sex slave! He never came through on any of his promises. They warn SD’s to beware of fake SB’s all the time. We need to remember that it goes both ways. SUGAR DADDIES, do what you say you are going to do. This is a “MUTUALLY” benficial arrangement. Not just one sided where the SD benefits from our time and company. Hopefully this time around I will have a better experience. Wish me luck!

  2. Helenskia says:

    Do you have any helpful hints for newbie sugar daddies or sugar babies?

    SDs: Always mention in your profile if you are married, engaged, single or what not *some ladies don’t want to be titled the other woman.* ALways include what you expect and what you have to offer in return. Don’t portray your self as a creep, pervert, stereotypical selfish rude rich man or a control/sex freak. Same goes for SBs, some SDs want a single lady not one who goes home & shares what she recieved with her bf, husband, gf or whatnot. Don’t come off as desperate, bitchy, gold digger or cheapskate and don’t include amount expected in your profile *that way you maximize your results* SDs and SBs should aways be straightforward with each other, as soon as the lies start rolling in, the excitement disappears. The whole purpose of SB/SD relationship is to live a MUTUALLY beneficial and FUN lifestyle.
    How long have you been sugar dating?

  3. LadyGodiva says:

    Hey sugar family!
    This is actually my first time visiting the blog, and honestly it is because I need helpful hints to making a true connection. I thought I had the quintessential profile and pics, I’m really a wholesome nice girl despite my looks (I’m 5’9 and 125 and I love a pair of heels) but somehow it is so hard to make a connection offline with anyone. I get an email or two, perhaps a phonecall then zilch. It would be nice to meet someone who didn’t seem to have ADHD when it comes to women, haha. I had an SD before, not from online, and it was the most amazing experience of my life. I’m kind of discouraged at this point. Thanks to all who reply and help me figure it all out!

  4. Naughty Molly says:

    Stephan ~ Can you please let Luke know his question was addressed, I don’t want him to think we were ignoring him 😀

    You’re the best!

  5. Naughty Molly says:

    Hi Luke! Welcome to Blogville where the weather is always perfect and so are the women 😉

    I have never in my life asked about allowance right off the bat like that. As a matter of fact, I have only had to bring up the subject once and that was before the third date. Even then the only reason I brought it up was because he wanted me to stay the night and needless to say I never heard from him again.

    Do you have a range listed in your profile? I think if you stated what you are willing to provide it will cut down on those kinds of emails. On the other hand it wouldn’t be as easy to weed out the girls who are only interested in allowance and not you as a person.

  6. Luke.A. says:

    Don’t know how to respond !!!

    Based in Europe – I’m going to find my first SB. Within a couple of mails the girls ask directly what I am going to give as an allowance – should I just say exactly, is that the norm. ?

  7. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Cleo – Ps – you are planning on Asia…I am working towards Egypt 😀

  8. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Cleo – I am so happy for you!! I keep trying to tell everyone – change IS good…the ego does not deem it so. Anyway – another convo for another time – I am happy you are flowing again :)

  9. Naughty Molly says:

    James.M says:
    March 2, 2010 at 8:18 am
    Anna Molly: You can change your name if you like, because an Anna Molly by any other name would smell as sweet. It must be aliterative, however, so we don’t lose Alluring Anna and Naughty Molly!

    Thank you, that is very sweet 😉

  10. cleo says:

    KittyL: hello and welcome back, i’ll post a toronto note right after this :)
    TLG asked:

    How is YOUR day starting out?

    really well, finally slept out the exhaustion of the gastro thing i had a couple of weeks ago and seeing a dent starting to appear in my debts. i got a part time job to take the pressure off my business and suddenly i’m like “when i pay off my credit card i’m saving for a couple of months and then i’m going to asia for three weeks”

    and now i’m so excited because i’ll actually be able to pay for it! and see my friend G that i haven’t seen in FIFTEEN YEARS (he lives in aus and we have been talking about taking a travel together…)

    Lot’s of stuff on the ‘must get done’ list? Chilling out?

    i need to do some promotional work for my business but i allowed myself to wait until I felt well enough again to do cardio so that will happen later this week. today i have a nice light teaching schedule and then an evening of dr. mario with a great friend.

    so today is a good day. :)

    Tell us about the sweetness happening in your day today.

    the coolest thing about this part time job (i started the week before i got the bug, so i’ve done it for two and a half weeks although i’ve had it for four) is that it’s actually fun AND i immediately got my POP back with regard to my calling.

    I hadn’t realised that my teaching had become stale and easy until i felt excited and started having awesome ideas again for my clients. says a lot about me that they stuck through a lull i didn’t even know i was in.

    seven years i’ve been doing this now and i guess it makes sense that i was going to need to inject something into it so i didn’t get stale, but wow, life is so much better when you not only love your job but also feel it thrive again.

    so yeah, it’s a sweet day that has nothing to do with dating.

    (although i had a great date with a non sugar yesterday, he did this little move that was so good. we were lost in conversation and the waiter put the bill down in the middle of the table and he reached for it, replaced it between himself and his coffee and never lost a beat of the conversation – since i care about classy and generous even more than i care about rich [once he’s paying his own bills and can afford to save a little money AND come to crazy places with me *lol*] i find myself hoping a little that he calls. i try not to invest in the will he or won’t he call thing but you know… it would be nice.)

  11. Naughty Molly says:

    Hmmmm…..I like the way you think 😉

  12. James.M says:

    I wish!

  13. Naughty Molly says:

    Hi James.M! Nice to see you darlin’! Don’t worry NM and AA aren’t going anywhere 😉

    Wow! How did you know what I call my doggie? Are you spying on me? 😀

  14. Jade says:

    New blog everyone !

  15. James.M says:

    NM: Adorable Apso and Lurid Lhasa?

  16. James.M says:

    Anna Molly: You can change your name if you like, because an Anna Molly by any other name would smell as sweet. It must be aliterative, however, so we don’t lose Alluring Anna and Naughty Molly!

  17. Naughty Molly says:

    Lily ~ I’m jealous!! I love kitties, but I can’t have them :(

    I do have a little Lhasa Apso though….and he is ADORABLE! 😀

  18. Jade says:

    Congrats Lily !

  19. Lily says:

    The little silver Bengal brothers have been paid for. They come home tomorrow afternoon!!

    Sugar champagne blessing/thanking date will happen tomorrow night with feline-financier BaldHottie, at my place, as we watch the kittens play and figure out names…

    Happy Dance!!

  20. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Oh and where are my manners??

    Welcome/welcome back to all the bloggers I am not yet acquainted with :)

  21. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    NM – baahaa! Sams Club Card – toooo funny lady!! I WISH it was as lax at the border these days…

  22. KittyL says:

    Going to Board now~! Can’t wait to be in sunny Miami!! Have a great day everyone! :) My old sugar buddies.. I miss u guys on the forum… :( Please stop by sometime and revive the Sugar world. I know it’s neglect it’s partly my fault… xoxo

  23. Naughty Molly says:

    Hey Yaz, Jade, KittyL and if I missed anyone sorry.

  24. Jade says:

    I find that New York men are super generous…..anyone know why ? ( something in the water ? )

  25. KittyL says:

    Have a nice day hon! Loves you

  26. Yaz says:

    Something came up…Cant make it.. :-(
    Ok I really have to get going now..

  27. KittyL says:

    Yaz: why not??? u r a nyc chicky poo!!!!

  28. Yaz says:

    Morning all

    Kitty, it is good to see you back!

    I will not be able to make it to the NYC dinner if there is one… :-(

    Off to work, I go….

  29. KittyL says:

    cleo: Also noticed your post regarding a meet up in Toronto. I might be interested, (sorry had trouble finding too much details) can you quickly recap when approx and what’s the iteniary?

  30. KittyL says:

    SSSD, I am going to try and make it out to NYC, just need to check flight schedules, I have an early morning meeting on Monday. But I am not going to fly down unless I have confirmation of the exact time of your arrival. I don’t want to sit there and wait till 2 am anticipating…. anticipating. 😉

  31. NYC SB says:

    SSSD – the NYC crew is pretty tight… I am sure there will be some interest…

  32. KittyL says:

    Good Morning Everyone!!
    How are all my lovely sugars??

    SSSD, I heard a rumor that you were back, had to see for myself! Glad to see you again!

    Yaz: *hugs to you*

    Gail: *hugs as well”

    I might be heading to Vegas in April for a stupid tradeshow and again in Sept for a girls weekend. Maybe we can make a small sugar reunion?? I miss you guys so much.

    Over here, nothing much as changed.. work. work. work. work. I’m currently sitting in London airport, waiting for my flight to Miami. Doing way too much travelling. Can we get a quick lil sugar update/ intro from everyone???

  33. Naughty Molly says:

    Hi TT and TLG!

    Taz, your comment reminded me of a trip I took to Canada before the new laws passed. I headed to the border and when I arrived I realized I forgot my license. Well, the guard became so fed up with me he allowed me to use my Sams Club card as a form of ID…LOL. What a great trip that was!

  34. AdrianeSB says:

    Hi, I’ve lurked around about a month and e-mailed with Lily a couple of times (yes i’m the wannabeSB that she thought poofed after the first e-mails :)). I’ve learned so much by reading about everybody’s experiences and wish to thank everyone for being so open and helpful. I really would be one stumbling SB without you guys.

    I’m quite confident some sugar is gonna come my way sooner than later. I’m meeting two pots later this week, and 2 others are trying to find a suitable time in their busy schedules this week. One very interested pot left for a business trip after our first meeting, so we’ll see if he’s still interested after the trip. He’s an amazing man, sooo handsome and youthful, I’d be hrilled to be his SB, but let’s see.

    Have a wonderful day! :)

  35. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Good morning sugar fam 😛

    Will be on and off today as my day is filled with work and a bit of play :)

    I wish I could make it to New York for Sunday – hmmmm – anyone have any friends that could turn a blind eye to the fact I don’t have a passport?? Can’t blame a girl for trying right 😛

  36. Good morning, TLG!

    Way to get a nice, new topic out there and get the blog active.

    Must Get Done List: Yes, lots of things to do. Finishing up some articles to meet deadlines, confirming business meetings, catching up with email and then the dreaded tax preparations. Ick. Lots of desk time today. (On a good note, this means I will be checking in here frequently!)

    Sweetness in my day: Getting through it so I can meet 2 sugar friends for dinner/drinks this evening. Yay.

  37. The Lone Gunman says:

    It’s Titanic Tuesday!!!

    Goooooood Moooorniiiing Sugar Blog!!

    How is YOUR day starting out?

    Lot’s of stuff on the ‘must get done’ list? Chilling out?

    Tell us about the sweetness happening in your day today.


  38. Naughty Molly says:

    Hi Shoogar! Oh yes, there is nothing better than a good spanking for a naughty girl.

    If you want me to come out and play all you have to do is say the magic word 😉

  39. Ha ha ha. I knew we would lure Naughty Molly out from her bath! :)

  40. Naughty Molly says:

    SSSD – I can’t make Sunday either…can I get in on that spanking too? Oh I’m such a bad girl.;)

  41. Caramel – Lil’SB gave you great advice. Muster up the courage and COMMUNICATE…before it gets too far along and you become further frustrated. If he was traveling overseas, it could very well be true that his texts didn’t reach you. That happened to me while traveling abroad last year. Obviously, something was there for you two to commit to the arrangement in the first place. Perhaps trying to communicate openly (and assertively) first to discuss your differences before you sever the arrangement – to know for sure if it is truly your GUT, or just your nerves from the whole situation.

    Good morning, everyone.

  42. Naughty Molly says:

    Did somebody say spanking? That must be my magic word 😉

    I’m a little late to the party, but better late than never!

  43. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Darn it, I missed LASB last night. :(

    How’s the stamping going???

  44. Lily says:

    Flo – get well soon.

    Erik – I have NO clue to what the SM/SB(m) scene on SA or any other site looks like, but what fun I had brainstorming with you various ideas and themes to incorporate into your profile.

    If any other male SBs want a copy of the email I sent to Erik, with my own opinions (general musings and ideas about women and how to handle this delicate sugar dance), let me know and I’ll remove anything that pertained to Erik specifically (very little), and send you the general part. Email me through my blog…

    STOP talkin’ karaoke in NYC on sunday!! I was actually going to be there this weekend (in my mind), until my plans with the NYC gentleman in question fell through. So y’all are killing me. Since u all know what a karaoke addict I am….

  45. lil'SB says:

    LASB – Haha, that’s funny. I’m doing well thanks, everyone played a great game this year, it was very exciting!

  46. LASB says:

    Lil’SB – Oh funny, when I read Caramel’s post, I was totally thinking about you and how you’ll be able to relate. Hope you are doing well. Congrats to your boys. That was a tough loss for me. :(

  47. lil'SB says:

    Caramel, although I’m not an expert in this area, all I can say is you have to be willing to become a little bit more assertive and go for things if you want it (it’s how I’m forcing myself to think because I’m a pushover too). If you don’t make your needs known, your SD isn’t going to be a mind reader and know what it is you want. Yes, subtle reminders! Let him know you’re in need and request his help, if he’s serious about the relationship and you’re putting 100% effort into it, then he should be fine with it.

    That said, always go with your gut instincts, if it doesn’t feel right then it may be time to move on.

  48. lil'SB says:

    JSO – Call me *wink*

  49. Caramel says:

    Hi there everybody! I’m a true blue newbie SB.

    I’ve been in an arrangement for only…less than two months. But things haven’t been going well.. For starters, I haven’t received my allowance at all. I haven’t asked him about it upfront. I thought I’d sound like a gold-digging whore.

    He was overseas for quite a while, so it made it quite difficult for us to meet up. To make matters worse, he claims he sent many text messages, emails and that I didn’t answer them – to which I say I didn’t receive anything at all, honestly. He’s kinda pissed and I’m kinda confused now.

    So first question I have..do you think I should continue this arrangement? My gut is giving me weird in a bad way sensations when I think about it.

    Secondly, how do you SBs make sure you get the allowance every month? Subtle reminders? Or its there automatically? FYI, I am not very assertive lol. So that makes me ‘bully-able’.

    Thanks 😀

  50. LASB says:

    JSO – Whatever it is, you’ve already done it. Word on the street is that plenty of bloggers are crushing on you.

    Hi Cleo and SS!

  51. cleo says:

    JSO: you live across the continent and want a local woman?

    i could ask the same of the blog sd’s, heck i can’t get them to come to a group dinner if i shout at them *grin* and some of them have never answered anything i’ve said to them.


  52. JSO- TXSD says:

    just kidding. catching up on the blog getting ready to go to bed

  53. JSO- TXSD says:


  54. SSSD says:

    Yaz, always good to hear from you. Take care and good night.

    I’m going to enjoy the sun and hot weather a bit.

  55. cleo says:

    SSSD you’ll get interest in that dinner, but i think the nyc crew is more daylight
    shooger: dude, if you don’t get your ass up here to party with me? i’ll sulk.

    do the meet on a weekend and we’ll have a karaoke party the second night? lol

  56. cleo says:

    SSSD: aw that’s the saddest xkcd ever

    i like the one with the hole in the bed and the battling bots underneath…

  57. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Good night, Yaz!

    cleo – You might further entice me to the Toronto meet by planning in a karaoke venue. Just sayin’.

  58. SSSD says:

    Sorry folks, this is not like the Vegas trip of last year (maybe I’ll do something like that later, but this isn’t it.) No, this is just a get-together of people who can just drop by in NYC on a Sunday night. Casual-like. Pseudonyms are ok, privacy respected, and so on.

    It’s last minute so very likely it won’t happen, but I thought a straw poll would be interesting.

  59. Yaz says:

    Good night you all

    SSSD~ Good talking to you :-)

  60. cleo says:

    SSSD i’ll sing karaoke with y’all if someone picks up the flight *g*

    also upthread around a seventh of the way down the scroll my name shows up in blue instead of black. in that post i explained the profile linkage :)

  61. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Megs – good night and we can’t guarantee no frisky business. You know what a wild bunch we are! Good luck to you with your VegasSD – you are a bright girl, you’ll do the right thing. And we are all here for you too.

    Good night, Midwest – oh, and jealous of what? My hall pass? Or the promise of a spanking later?

    (Naughty Molly might be coming out soon methinks…)

  62. LASB says:

    Hello Sugars! Just here lurking and getting work done. Had a very intense day, and just unwinding. Hope you are all having a fabulous evening/night/morning/afternoon! :)

  63. Midwest says:

    Goodnight Megs!

    Shoogar – I’m so jealous! :)

    I’m off to sweet dreams! Goodnight!

  64. Megs says:

    Well, time to get the night rolling. Hope you all have a good night, and take care! No frisky business while I’m gone! 😉

  65. Shoogar Shoes says:

    SSSD is getting frisky talking about spanking already in the morning hours. Must be the heat in India… 😉

  66. SSSD says:

    Shoogar gets a hall pass not to come to the NYC dinner on March 7. She has a prior engagement. We’ll spank her later. 😉

    The slow connections here are killing me. If you are interested or know somebody who is, please have them email me at samspayed (at) fastmail (dot) fm

    Not dot com.

  67. Megs says:

    So I’m going to be in Wisconsin for a week (bllaaahhh). Wish I had an SD there. haha

  68. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Midwest – it took me a moment to realize what you were apologizing for. I have confused you all with my many pseudonyms! Just keeping you on your toes – following P. Diddy’s steps, you know. :)

  69. Midwest says:

    Megs – Let me see if I can narrow him down again…

  70. Midwest says:

    Megs- sadly no :( I need a sugar tune up…hehe. That’s ok…I will wait for that one special sd to be sweet enough to offer.

    SS- So sorry, momentary lapse.

  71. Megs says:

    Midwest – Oh reeeaaallllyyyyyyy :)

  72. JSO- TXSD says:

    midwest go on yahoo

  73. Midwest says:

    Megs – I stumbled across an SD profile who wants a Tall, beautiful lady! You or ES may be just his type!

  74. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Definitely agree that relationships, whether they be traditional or as an arrangement, both parties should meet in the middle. Beyond sharing mutual chemistry, emotional/financial investments and interests; lies communication. Establishing strong communication is much more arduous than creating and outlining the arrangement itself -in my opinion. It requires that both parties be honest and courageous enough to expose what is going on inside them and be willing to work on the inevitable obstacles in the way of sharing their different truths with each other. The SB needs to respect that her SD leads a busy and demanding life and the SD should know his SB may not fully understand this in the beginning (unless she, herself, is immersed in a busy and demanding schedule) – only through a healthy and open line of communication will they both understand and respect this and flow into a ‘routine’ that works for both. In my opinion, strong communication is probably the most important ingredient in the everyday health of any relationship/arrangement.

  75. Megs says:

    Midwest – Did you get your massage? :)

  76. Megs says:

    Thanks everyone for your comments. I definitely need to talk with VegasSD to see how things will pan out for us.
    Jade – I’m not completely opposed to the gifts, it’s just that I’m not the type of girl that really likes gifts much. I actually hate to shop. I own 6 pairs of shoes. And I would rather wooden jewelry over diamonds any day. An SD told me he wanted to buy me Louboutins…and I actually had to GOOGLE them. I had NO clue! It’s not that I don’t enjoy the finer things in life… its more that I’ve never had a need for them to belong in mine. I’m a military brat, and my brother has even asked if I’m female.. just because I’m so far from a girly girl. My purse is a $90 tactical pack for hell’s sake! haha I can dine with the best when the situation and propriety calls for it – but good luck catching me in heels otherwise (unless I need to intimidate someone… I’m 5’10, so heels makes me a rather tall woman)
    I guess right now in my life, I have so many other things that are stressing me out, gifts aren’t really on my mind. Especially if it’s just to “fullfill” an arrangement. I’d rather get gifts out of thought and kindness. Not because they feel they have to. I guess the same thing would go for an allowance though…. Just like anyone though…I’m happier when I’m not stressed about money. ugh. Just found out how much I owe in taxes today… ugh..

  77. Midwest says:

    I am! How are you?

  78. JSO- TXSD says:

    midwest are you still on

  79. Midwest says:

    SSSD and Yaz – I agree with both. Part of an SBs role is to be available, accept and enjoy the experiences he can provide, lavish attention on her sd and so forth. She should send a quick, flirty text to let him know he is missed during long absences (and not just on the 1st of the month). I do feel a great deal of respect is shown from the man who makes an attempt to respond with a quick “Thanks, me too” rather than to be completely absent. It is also a sign of respect when he can provide some notice of a visit. If he sugar coats the visit with making time for us and perhaps a couples massage :) Our sds are busy men, but it doesn’t take much anymore to stay in touch.

    As for the “canned” messages, I see them for what they are and always respond courteously.

  80. Yaz says:

    Good night TLG ! :-)

  81. Yaz says:

    In other words, SDs who think that it is ok to disappear for days or weeks without an email or a text and expect their SBs to drop everything to run to them when they are in town are treating their SBs like mere booty calls.

  82. Yaz says:

    SSSD said

    “Men have an evolutionary reason to become jealous. In an NSA arrangement this can be more difficult. So if you’re an SB make sure there aren’t long stretches where he doesn’t hear from you, even if he isn’t communicating with you. This will go far to fill in his need to feel some ownership just like the money may fill an evolutionary need for an SB to feel security.”

    I agree with constantly keeping in touch with a SD. However, in a traditional relationship as well as in a NSA relationship men and women always have to meet halfway. What I do not find fair is a SD who is not doing his part to communicate with his SB and ALWAYS expect her to come to him. She should not be at his beck and call just because he is fulfilling her financial needs. She understands that he is a very busy professional and she sometimes has to drop everything she is doing to go meet him when he has some free time so the least he can do is try to keep in touch with her via constant emails or texts.

  83. SSSD says:

    On other threads:

    On responses: I would always respond to every initial contact. Sometimes it took a while, but I feel a message deserves a response.

    On SD treatment: I expect there are many different kinds of SDs. But consider this: why should a man spoil a woman? Because he wants to see the positive effect of that attention. She needs to bask in it, appreciate it, turn it into something positive for her future and/or reflect it back into something positive and uplifting for her SD. Rich and powerful SDs can obtain many things including respect, but there is a difference between respect for their generosity when they give to a charity and when they give to an SB. Think of that difference. It has to do with being a woman and a man, and not just sexual but the romance, the excitement, the thrill, and even the reward of seeing growth and a deep personal appreciation and desire.

    Men have an evolutionary reason to become jealous. In an NSA arrangement this can be more difficult. So if you’re an SB make sure there aren’t long stretches where he doesn’t hear from you, even if he isn’t communicating with you. This will go far to fill in his need to feel some ownership just like the money may fill an evolutionary need for an SB to feel security. Modern relationships invent proxies for these evolutionary needs, and that’s what you need to use your brain to figure out. What are the proxies that fulfill your SD and yet allow the flexibility you need in your life.

  84. The Lone Gunman says:

    Off to bed! Good night all!!!


  85. SSSD says:

    I’m typing from a room overlooking the beach in India. It’s 9:45 AM and already hot.

    Hi Yaz and Gail.

    Looks like I missed a fracas quickly repaired, a slippery discussion of birth control, and more tips.

    Personally I do not mind form letters for the initial discussion; such forms are better than the one word messages like “hi” or the SMS-style ones like “u r kewl”.

    People have many different kinds of relationships with their money when it comes to investing. An arrangement is an investment, not just a transaction. So there is more diversity in approaches. So don’t be surprised by a variety of opinions from SDs on the matter of how to enter, negotiate, or terminate an arrangement, as well as their expectations of “in depth” due diligence, non-financial returns from an SB, and the timing of those returns.

  86. Shoogar Shoes says:

    You usually only have to whisper the word karaoke and I’m there, but won’t be anywhere near the city this weekend. :(

    Yaz – How did I know you fancied karaoke too? ha ha.

    Aw, Flo…get better. Geez, too much traveling. You need to be drinking Airborne cocktails and Emergen-C!

  87. Flo Rida says:

    Megs – just try saying to VegasSD exactly what you said to us, the worse thing he can say is no.

    i’m ill so only skim read everyone else’s posts – have fun all!

  88. Yaz says:

    Karaoke!! :-)

  89. Yaz says:

    SSSD!!! Glad to see you back! :-)

  90. SSSD says:

    Hey,it turns out I will be in NYC on March 7 (I will arrive that day from a global circumnavigation) and will have an evening free. It’s Sunday so there’s not a lot of choices, but dinner will be on me, and it will be good food, that much I can commit.

    If there is enough response maybe we can make it a dinner party. Maybe karaoke. Maybe a lounge. Who knows…

  91. The Lone Gunman says:


    If they can’t be bothered to at least attempt to look at my profile, why on Earth should I even bother responding to them?

    Note: since I can see if they have opened the profile, but their message mentions nothing from it, I might respond–usually by asking “just what was it about my profile that caused you to write me?”

    …and usually, another Poof SB is born. :)


  92. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Megs – I know you are a bit frustrated that you were intimate before “the talk”, but it sounds like your VegasSD should be familiar with arrangement expectations so should know it isn’t JUST about sex. Sure, there’s an order we would like for things to happen, but the unpredictability of life and situations can derail our plans sometimes. It is hard to give you advice on how to approach now without knowing the finer details of your conversations (which I’m not asking to know), but I think you should definitely muster up the courage to bring it up as it is obviously heavy on your heart and mind.

  93. lil'SB says:

    oh lol, TLG that’s enlightening. So are you more or less inclined to respond to those message?

  94. Jade says:

    Jaa jaaajjjaded…I’m the one that jaded you !

  95. The Lone Gunman says:

    lil’SB says: Do SDs get generic prefabricated letters?

    Do we EVER!

    It’s just as I wrote earlier–it’s glaringly obvious when someone hasn’t even read your profile–and if you are a subscribing member to the site, you also have the ability to check if they even opened your profile, rather than just blast a canned message to you.


  96. Jade says:

    The SD’s get tons of scammers asking for money before a meet or girls who are older or much heavier in person than in pictures. They get pretty jaded about all the fakes like we do.

  97. lil'SB says:

    Shoogar, ya I don’t like it either, it seems less sincere, but at the same time yes I understand you and TLG’s ‘time saver’ explanation. Do SDs get generic prefabricated letters? 😮

  98. TXSB says:

    guality = quality

  99. TXSB says:

    Hi Everyone! :)

    Re: Texas SDs/SBs
    Yes, there are quite a few Texas SDs, but quantity doesn’t guarantee guality (the same could be said about SBs).

    I’ve received those “form letters” before. It doesnt make a difference to me. At the end of the day, its an arrangement. My expectations from a SD are different compared to what I expect from a BF.

  100. Jade says:

    Meg- If a man gives you $ 50.00 cash you may not be as impressed as you would if he bought you a gift that was $ 50.00 in price perhaps.

  101. Megs says:

    I’ve had the “canned” messages before. It’s so obvious that if they had taken the time to look, they would know it wouldn’t work out.

  102. Megs says:

    Shoogar – No, VegasSD has had a SB before… and his friends are the ones that turned him on to it. We were supposed to actually meet up with one of them and his SB… but they were both exhausted by the time we got out of our show. The conversation just never happened. We had dinner and talked plenty about past mishaps and failures in the sugar world, but didn’t really talk about how ours would be different – other than just acknowledging what we didn’t want to have happen… if that makes sense?
    Though, apparently I didn’t mention I didn’t want to be in it JUST for sex.

  103. The Lone Gunman says:

    lil’SB: the type of message you’re referring to is used by some as a time-saver.

    That first line is to let you know that they did, in fact, actually take the time to read your profile instead of just gawk at your posted pictures.

    Then, rather than go through your profile point-by-point in the message, they cut to the chase–tell you a bit about themselves and let you determine if there’s an interest on your side of the equation.

    The ‘form format’ happens because it’s tiring to type the same things over and over and over and over…

    Had the message referred to nothing at all in your profile, you can rest assured that the pot SD never got past the picture-drooling stage.

    Hope that helps!


  104. Shoogar Shoes says:

    AM – I like Alluring Anna as well. Though I must admit, it is quite cute for Naughty Molly to come out and surprise us every now and then.

    Megs – you are a sweetheart. Lils and I are two strong, passionate personalities (and we both mean well), but just have different approaches – which is fine – that’s what makes the world so wonderful and unique. We know this, understand it, respect it and certainly don’t want to sour the bowl.

    Question, Megs – is your VegasSD new to the arrangement world – that you know of?

  105. Midwest says:

    lil SB – Yes! There are some who send “canned” messages as they are working the numbers side of SA.

  106. Shoogar Shoes says:

    lil’SB – ah, the “form letter” tactic. I never liked those, but didn’t totally disregard them either if their profile attracted me in one way or another. I mean, these men are running multiple businesses usually so they don’t really have the time to sit and compose personal messages to each SB they are interested in. Although it is a nice gesture and probably a technique we prefer, it isn’t always realistic on their part. I would write back anyway (if there was interest on my part) and that would then begin a new course of conversation which then would show me a whole new side outside of the initial form letter. Make sense?

  107. Megs says:

    Shoogar and Lily – glad you two kissed and maded up 😉 I love you both! Well, I’m getting to know Lily better as she helps me decide how to fix my profile. And Shoogar, I’ve loved reading all of your posts and your blog.

    Update – got a text from VegasSD… apparently the sex on the first date didn’t make him go poof. He is up for more – sex. However, we haven’t talked about an arrangement yet. I’m sadly going out of town and cant meet up with him while he is in town… but we are over due to have “the talk”… I’m just not sure how to get what I want without making it sound like he is paying me for sex when he is in town. Ugh – I guess not everyone can have a perfect first SD date. I screwed mine up..that’s for sure. Not that it can’t be remedied…but it would have been better if I hadn’t had to remedy it to begin with. *duh me*
    So..to answer the blog question anyway, and give everyone an idea of what I DO want:
    I work, like everyone else… but from a previous divorce, I was left with twice the debt and half the income…. and then had some medical expenses, and other unexpected bills show up. I was starting out new in my business at the same time, and was making even less – which got me behind even more! So – now, I’m making enough to survive and pay minimum payments on my bills…. but I have no money to spare. Which means I can’t continue to grow in my business either, because until my debt/credit ratio is down…I can’t get loans, I can’t buy the things I need for my business… and I just work myself to death instead. So… gifts are far from my list of needs. But, how to tell an SD you would rather money than gifts?
    This sounds like the typical question everyone asks I think. So many girls would rather money over gifts. But so many men would rather give gifts than money. *sigh* I wish there were a box that said “Gifts? or Money?” on the profile page. haha 😉 Guess it’s easy to just state that in the profile…

  108. lil'SB says:

    Hey…I got a question.

    Do any of you (SB’s AND SD’s) ever feel like someone’s message has been prefabricated so it can be sent to ANYONE (generic opening line flattering you followed by huge long blurbs about themselves, no mention of what’s on your profile really), and if you have, do you feel less special and less inclined to take the sender seriously, less interested and less likely to answer?

  109. Midwest says:

    AM- Alluring Anna is my personal favorite :)

    TLG – None of us like the BNR – especially when it’s after photos are sent. I’ve had a few already. I always chant WAWSD and press on :)

  110. lil'SB says:

    Your message title didn’t start with something like “hi sweet cheeks, let get jiggy with it tonite, my treet” did it?


  111. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Midwest! As far as I know I’m not Anna Madrid…at least the last time I checked LOL. It is getting confusing I suppose, so I should decide what I want to do. Should I go with Naughty Molly, Alluring Anna or find a new name all together. What do all of you think? I’m open to suggestions 😀

  112. The Lone Gunman says:

    lil’SB, allow me to chime in with my view.

    One thing that always drove me up the wall back when I first started as a SD on this site was what I called the Blank Non-responder.

    This is someone who I had sent a profile response to, and it just sat there, unacknowledged, unopened and decaying in cyberspace…long after the person had obviously logged on several times. Either they had simply deleted it without reading, or they appeared to be playing games.


  113. lil'SB says:

    Hi everyone! I’m warming up from trekking home through gross mush…blech.

    Kiouke, I think it would be most considerate if you reply ASAP, because most SDs don’t have the time to sit and wait anxiously for a reply. They will simply take your silence for disinterest and move on, so by the time you do reply it will be too late, they will have forgotten who you are or how awesome your profile is. If the message interests you, reply back and show them you are interested too.

  114. The Lone Gunman says:

    “TLG: nice to see you semi healthy and cheerful

    good luck with your pending de borgification”

    That will apparently happen–if all goes EXACTLY according to plan–in about six weeks. Today is the first day I actually feel like myself again, despite the Borg modifications.


  115. cleo says:

    i have replied to all of the meet email i received, let me know if i missed one somewhere

  116. Midwest says:

    Hi Cleo! You have mail…again!

  117. Midwest says:

    Hi TLG – How’s that IV cocktail?

    Hi AM! Someone asked me if you were Anna Madrid today :-)

  118. cleo says:

    TLG: nice to see you semi healthy and cheerful

    good luck with your pending de borgification

  119. The Lone Gunman says:

    Did somebody ask about a Texas SD?

    What do you want to know?


  120. Anna Molly says:

    *me* – typo, sorry 😀

  121. Anna Molly says:

    Hi all! I hope everyone had a good weekend and a better Monday!

    Congrats Lisa! I’m so happy for you!

    Hi Eric! Nice to see you again!

    Welcome to all of the new bloggers 😀

    Okay, back to my bath. I’m listening to Trapt while I soak. Thanks NC for turning ne on to them. :)

  122. Midwest says:

    K- It will take a while for things to come to a meeting point. You will have to weed through fakes, etc., so go ahead and start an easy conversation. If you show hesitation or that you don’t know what you want, they will move on to the next sb. With respect to not being ready, Lily was right in that you have to take a personal inventory to see what you want and need from an arrangement. It’s best to do this sooner than later. Of course, it’s every woman’s perogative to change her mind. :-)

  123. Kouike says:

    Midwest: Well hopefully they will show themselves soon, I swear its slow when I come on, I really think maybe its me, or just my luck. I am not sure what to say to the daddies other than, let me consider this.

  124. Midwest says:

    K- Since there are 20 sbs to every SD it would be better to respond within 24 hours. Stick around, the Texans will show themselves!

  125. Kouike says:

    Midwest: Really a lot of TX daddies and babbies? I haven’t met any of them yet. Yes I am trying to keep my options open, I haven’t replied to anyone just yet. Do they get mad, if you just sit and think on their emails? Or do the expect some kind of response quickly? I have been emailed by a few locals already, as well as out of town and out of state.

  126. Midwest says:

    I am close to Chicago. Texas is an odd mix. I hear of plenty of sbs and sds from TX, but they all complain there’s no sugar…what gives? There are at least 4 here on ocassion from various areas throughout the state.

    You will get a lot of e-mails and views at first. Keep your options open at first and narrow them down. I hope it goes well for you!

  127. Kouike says:

    Midwest: Well I got another email since I logged into the blog, I not sure about being acclimated yet, however inch by inch you know. I am in TX, how about yourself?

  128. Midwest says:

    Hi Kouike! Are you getting acclimated? Are you on the west coast by chance?

  129. Kouike says:

    Midwest: Hello, how are you?

  130. Midwest says:

    Hi Eric! Sorry the sugar is so slow for you. I know you are seeking a rare find, but wish the best for you. Have you looked at other sites?

    Lisa – I’m soooooooooooooooo excited for you! I love the new Lisa! Flo – meet Lisa, Lisa meet Flo!

    Cleo – you have mail

    Evening sugars!

  131. Kouike says:

    Eric: This blog is always slow when I get on I wonder if its me?

  132. Kouike, I guess so :) I would imagine that daddies inbox is pretty active!

  133. Kouike says:

    Eric: Oh, well I would imagine some days are better than others. I haven’t yet looked at my emails. I wonder what the ratio is for daddies?

  134. Kouike, you should try being on the male side of the SB’s.. it’s about for every 100th view, you get 1 email :p

  135. Kouike says:

    Lil sis: Ok well the pics were approved and since yesterday I got 49 views and only 5 email. Is that normal? I guess about 10% of those who view your profile will email you?

  136. cleo says:

    kiki: for the record you weren’t who i was referring to, there are about a dozen folks doing similar things
    shoogar? i heart you

  137. Kiki says:

    hey cleo — no i didn’t, but you’ve got mail now :)

  138. cleo says:

    kiki: i did, did you catch my posts with the email included?
    re the toronto meet… please stop posting to the blog with your wishes about it you all. not ONE blogger has emailed me and i don’t want to have to faithfully read every single post trying to guess who might come.

    so this is it

    if you can’t be bothered emailing me dates that suit you then i can’t be bothered planning a meet.

    too cranky for this today.

  139. AnnaMadrid says:

    Hey everyone! Can’t stay long, just wanted to pop in to let you all know I’m still around:) I’ll be here much later.. Hope you all have a wonderful day!

  140. Flo Rida says:

    NYGent – apparently Mr. Sports Royalty showed up for work at 9am today – impressive work ethic. Having said that we pulled out of the deal so that door has closed. Cheerio peeps.

  141. NYGent says:

    I figured out sports guy but not telling and no clues. remember flo changes details to throw people off so don’t assume charlotte.

  142. Lily says:

    Erik mail me off-blog, via my blog which is found by clicking my name.

  143. Lily, yes I do, Sweden to be exact.. Unfortually it’s sooo frickin cold there right now that I really do not want to go back. What country do you live in?

  144. Flo Rida says:

    NYC SB – oh now I know what you mean yes AIAA was in town which is collegiate basketball but I looked into reservations for our ‘krewe’ and I got people into the Marriott Charlotte City Center, Ritz Carlotn and Marriott Courtyard so you could have got a room. Ok back to bed for me.

  145. NYC SB says:

    Flo – unsure of those things… all i know is there was some sort of sports related commotion there this weekend… as in all area hotels were booked so we had to move our randevouz elsewhere

  146. Flo Rida says:

    OC – i’m sorry I just like having fun with people – or maybe I should ask Stephan or the Founder ‘Are you OC indisguise?’

    NYC SB – when I lived in flagler beach and also charlotte I hated Nascar because it always meant horrendous traffic, but fyi the next charlotte nascar event is in May. Though I know you are joking.

    Taz – have fun at Toronto meet!

    Shoogar – lol – it’s not Beckham & I really shouldn’t say anything more. Though I daresay enough people have worked it out ny now. Cheerio

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Haha Flo you are funny. Kind of like “Where’s Waldo”

      Ok, I am going to go back to my non sugar life. No, Lily my happiness does not pertain to or have measurement from the Blog happiness :)

  147. SCB says:

    Hey Everyone,
    I am still catching up on the blog. It takes me forever because I don’t sign on during the weekends. There has been lost of good chatter. I’m glad to see that most of the negativity is gone. That being said… I have good news.

    I wrote last week about my SD up and disappearing on me. Just to refresh your memory.. He said he would call, didn’t call, said he was super busy… didn’t call… didn’t call again. (you get it)

    On Saturday afternoon, when I was least expecting it, I got a call. :) Everything is back to its Sugary Sweet Self and I no longer have to deal with the thought of being dumped without even a phone call. We are having a date night on Tuesday. I am so happy/ relieved that everything is fine. I was racking my brain trying to figure out what i did wrong.

    Lessons Learned- Not everyone is a liar/creep. Stop over-analyzing. Trust your instincts.

    I read a lot of posts on this magic stamper thing. Can someone tell me if it really works? I have a lot of battle scars I would like to remove from my body.

  148. Lily says:

    Flo – anything for you.

    Jade – you rock. Hilarious.

    OC – some of us are having a great Monday, but you’re not? Pity.

    Erik – you live in northern Europe, too ?

  149. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Wow Lisa congrats 😀 So happy for you sweetie!!

  150. lisa says:

    I’m officially moved. Have to unpack . Over at the mall now with mom.

    Don’t give up, it can happen, I’ve met two great guys

  151. Have fun with work Shoogar:)

  152. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Ok, sugars…I’m off for a bit. As much as I would love to “hang out” all day here with you guys, I DO have work and other important business matters to attend to. Have a great day, everyone! Handle your lubricated, large thin sheaths with care while I’m gone. Take heed and serious warning from NYC SB’s story: Do NOT try wearing them on your feet.

  153. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Hi Kiki & Eric!

    Jade – ha ha ha!! Now THAT, would be worth a front row seat as a premium member! You are hilarious.

  154. Jade says:

    I bet Lily and Shoo both can fit in this condom ! ……See who can break out of it first !

  155. Good morning everyone :)

    Beach_girl, yes I am back.. or atleast I have been for a couple weeks, unfortually going back to Europe on Wednesday :(

  156. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Shoo – would be awesome if you could make it to Toronto!!

    So any Sd’s interested in the Toronto meet??? Come on – NYGent? Sincere?? Any Sd’s?? You know you want to 😉

  157. NYC SB says:

    Shoo – the condoms came pre lubricated… he is too funny and still part of my life as we separated on very amicable terms…

  158. Shoogar Shoes says:

    NYC SB – the story gets better and better! He used the lube too??? I was imagining he slipped them on over his shoes like a surgeon. What a funny guy. I would have kept him around for his comedic sense! Oy.

  159. Kiki says:

    cleo, did you catch my post last night about the TO meet?

    also, good afternoon everyone :)

  160. NYC SB says:

    Shoogar – yes ex bf has some huge feet… size 13s… it was so juvenile and funny… especially him slipping on the lubricant and falling… ahhh good times

  161. NYC SB says:

    Flo – Char huh? hmmm SD said there is some sort of NASCAR stuff going on there this past weekend 😛

  162. Shoogar Shoes says:

    type: *THE happiness injecting I need*

  163. Shoogar Shoes says:

    OC – your pink Peep show is all he happiness injecting I need. (For those who can’t see her gravatar, get your minds out of the gutter! For shame!)

  164. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Flo – Sure, the shoogar and Lily kiss and make-up replay can be seen. But you will have to find it on an obscure, unmentionable web site. Have your credit card ready. But, we may give you access for more tips on the famous sports guy. My guess is Beckham, but I know you won’t confirm (or deny) if I’m right or wrong.

  165. Flo Rida says:

    Lisa – who are you, where is the real Lisa and what have you done with her? :-)

    OC – are you Stephan or the Founder in disguise?

    Lily & Shoogar – I would have liked to have seen that kiss – any chance of a replay?

    VC – willkommen, verfehlte ich ihre Warme und Echtheit. Tschuss

    i’m ill, the freezing weather in Charlotte (yes I know it’s warmer than NY), stress & hard work have worn me out. i’m taking it easy back in NY. Interesting that there aren’t many sports fans.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Flo why do you keep asking a question you know the answer to? lol

      Ok, now I am going to find that double top secret room that the others have vanished to. I give up trying to inject happiness. You all have worn me down :(

  166. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Raz-a-ma-Taz! I hope to make it too. Would love to meet you and the others. :)

  167. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Cleo – I am (of course!) interested in the Toronto meet. I suggest you get a couple sd’s on board (and of course at THEIR convenience!) and I am sure more sb’s will follow. I am going to do everything I can to be there depending on the date that is picked – however – I do think it is far more important to cater to the sd’s schedules…my 2 cents.

  168. Shoogar Shoes says:

    I would love to visit Toronto again. I will call my friend up today – perhaps it’s time for a visit!

  169. Shoogar Shoes says:

    NYC SB – I cracked up so loudly at your female condom story. On his FEET??? Wow.

  170. cleo says:


    *happy dance*




  171. Shoogar Shoes says:

    cleo & others – just a quick note that Lily and I have been conversing this morning (and afternoon for her) via email and have reached our own understanding and have “made up” by way of virtual sugar cubes!

    We are both agreeing to let bygones be bygones (and, of course, she had her own “Lily way” of understanding my language by use of that word), which was cute. Water under the bridge is now a vat of molten sweet syrupy lava. In other words: we kissed and made up.

    No more Shoes vs. Lily tension here. We promise.

    Let’s move on.


  172. cleo says:

    good morning oc!

    glad to hear you’re doing well and that your man is recovering!

  173. OCSugarBaby says:

    Good Morning Cleo lol

  174. NYC SB says:

    Jade – Have you opened it yet? they look like a huge condom… I bought them when i was in college but never used them… my bf at the time opened one looked at it and thought it would be funny to put them on his feet… literally that big… also how do they stay in place???

    Resuming hiatus

  175. cleo says:

    jade they’re awesome with some er man shapes and not so awesome with others…

  176. Jade says:

    Morning everyone! I have a question: Has anyone every used the female condom? I bought some today . ( yep, got a booty call ! )

  177. OCSugarBaby says:

    Enjoy your new apartment Miss Penelope!

  178. lisa says:

    Hurry up movers. It’s stopped raining for a little while. I need to get out of this neighborhood fast

  179. The Lone Gunman says:

    Does anyone know about the Tsunami that was supposed to hit Hawaii?


    OH—-you wanted more, right?

    Appears that the majority of the energy was spent as the wave moved across the Pacific. Still, that’s a LOT of energy potential when you consider that it was still measuareable all the way to Japan.


  180. photogirl says:

    Lily – Hawaii ended up not being effected as they had originally thought. My mom is there, as soon as I heard the news I called her as she is a block from the beach and ended up waking her at 5am.

  181. Lily says:

    It just keeps snowing and snowing over here! Snowing and snowing and snowing and snowing……… Beautiful, but I want some sunshine to reflect some shimmery shimmers on the white winter wonderland.

    Off to go for a walk in the snow……

    VS & Megs, you saucy ladies, it’s monday morning, great time to do that profile overhaul we’ve been talking about, since it’s a slower moment of the week to wait for the profile approval to go through.

    Anyone else want to sound off with me offline about their hunt/profile? I’m not able to spend TOO many hours outside wandering in the arctic winter wonderland, so I’ll be back inside my cozy apartment soon enough, listening to music, drinking hot tea, and happy to lend an ear. Always happy to add more of you to my skype list as well, and have some video call gab sessions. Yes, I’m hyper-social. It’s a ridiculous malady but there you have it. I can rarely tear myself away from facebook chat to keep in touch with my pals, unless some of them are over here at that very moment, of course, or if I’m out & about and meeting up with them in the city….

    Does anyone know about the Tsunami that was supposed to hit Hawaii?

  182. lisa says:

    Thanks photogirl i’m all set to go, just need to take phone and router out when the movers call, need to keep them connected for now.

    I’m going to have to put percy in a hair dryer box with holes when i move him because the movers won’t move him and i’m taking a taxi to get to the apartment and they don’t allow pets in taxis. It’s too far and rainy to walk though. I hope he won’t be too scared. I need to get him a cage when I get a chance.

  183. photogirl says:

    Sorry to hear about the rain! Hope it clears up soon. Really happy for you that you are finally moving, you and Percy will be much happier and safer 😉

  184. lisa says:


    I’m taking junk to the dumpster and the first foot of the bottom of my jeans is soaked. Not going to clear up I don;t think. Movers are supposed to be here between 7-12.

  185. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Aw, Lisa. I hope it clears up for you. Well, on the bright side…this time next week, you will be completely settled in and looking at your new gorgeous view! :)

  186. lisa says:

    Good morning

    Movers still move when it’s raining don’t they? Its pouring down rain here. THe weekend was sunny when I had to work and couldn’t get moved, today it’s a mess :(

  187. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Photogirl – Hey darlin’!

    Beach_girl – soooo happy to see you posting again! How was the LA meet?

    TLG – happy to see you posting again too and I hope your recovery is speedy!

  188. Lily says:

    Thanks, and have a good day, Shoo!

    Welcome to this fine Monday, to all the other sugars, when they wake up and meander over here!

  189. Shoogar Shoes says:

    “I don’t visit on your blog” made no sense. I meant, I haven’t visited your blog enough to know your contact info could be found there… Now I do. Done.

  190. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Scary? No.

    Intimidating? No.

    Ha ha.

    I now have your email address and will send you what I originally posted and now you will have my email address.

    Let’s call it a day!

    Good morning, everyone! :)

  191. Lily says:

    blgo = blog

    and of course I did. I am happy to amend my blog to appeal to others’ preferences and comfort, when there is valid reason to do so.

    And yes, sure, email me the list! I’m always happy when someone wants to share something with me, and if it’s been valuable to you, then I’m already confident that I’ll find something of value in it for myself. Why hesitate, just email it to me! I won’t bite, in offline correspondence, I swear…. 😉 *smooch* I don’t think I’ve ever been scary or intimidating, have I?! If I have, it’s amusing and interesting, as it would be 100% counter to the persona most absorb from me, in real life.

  192. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Lily – It’s not a big deal. Really. Posts. Articles. Whatever. Honestly, nothing you do makes me feel better or worse. Continue being Lily. I am not asking you to change anything you do. I just wanted my story removed and thought I would offer you something that you might appreciate.

    Also, I don’t visit on your blog – last night was the first time I did due to OC’s post mentioning your writing about other sugar stories here. That is why I didn’t have your email address. I never needed to ask for it.

  193. Lily says:

    Oh, and Shoo, always feel free to contact me offline, if you ever wish to do so. You’ve had more than one instance in the last few weeks in which it would have seemed like perhaps the best thing to do, to address an issue with me specifically, and you never have, for some reason. I’ve only had any contact with you on this public forum. Am I *so* unapproachable? *giggles* Now I’m just being sillly…. :)

    Seriously, though, in the future, give anyone who has issue with me who contacts YOU, my email address (visible on my blgo) and encourage them to (at least, anonymously) express themselves to me directly and not suck you into middle man territory, which would be boring and exasperating indeed (no sarcasm!!!). And if they refuse to act on on their own behalf, and you again get permission to copy/paste their comments and criticisms, then please copy/paste that into an email to me, so that I can privately consider the issue, and we can keep any drama off of this friendly forum.

  194. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Lily – I don’t think that you are pretending to be anything and I can see you are working towards being a resource to newbies so I thought the list might be helpful to you; that’s all. Before I began reporting, someone shared it with me and I appreciated it greatly. It has helped me with becoming a better writer – more in tune with my readers and allowed me to get my point across in a broader manner without sounding so opinionated and one sided. If you would rather not bother it, I won’t send.

    Thank you for removing my story.

  195. Lily says:

    And if it makes you feel better, I can go back to calling them posts. The format/layout that I have now, with different bubbles on the main page just made me think of a zine, and the chunks of prose as amateur articles, rather than the old format of a continuous, reverse chronological flow of “blog posts” (which I was thinking of as being more just my personal journaling). ‘

    It’s just semantics. Verbage. Doesn’t make it so. A rose is still a rose….. Call a spade a spade, blah bladdy bla blah blah blah.

  196. Lily says:

    Shoo, I use the term loosely. “articles,” that is. I’m not trying to pretend to know more than I do, or be more of a writer than I am. Or at least I don’t think I am (*scratching head*).

    Your anecdotal story is removed. I apologize. No malicious intent, I promise.

  197. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Lily – I did post something, but quickly contacted OC and asked her to please moderate and remove so I could take it offline. I will send what I wrote over to you now. I was basically politely asking you to remove my story as well as offering you some advice and a small list of “reporter’s code of ethics” as you embark on your blogging endeavors. Just thought you might appreciate it since you are using a different approach to your blog and actually referring to your posts as “articles” now.

  198. Lily says:

    Do you have any helpful hints for newbie sugar daddies or sugar babies?

    Sure. I’ve turned over a new leaf last week! Originally I figured I was too green & inexperienced (and an all-around strange character to consider my own experiences indicative of anyone else’s, just as elsewhere in life I assume that I will march to the beat of my own drummer and happily assume the role of ‘odd bird’) to offer anyone else helpful advice. However, I’ve decided that I do have a bit of know-how to share, and a relatively clever little mind that I’m perfectly happy to lend to others, in private, to hash out their sugar frustrations, if they feel like using me for a sounding board. I’m not altruistic or anything, for sure, I just find the topic very interesting, and it’s fascinating to hear the inside scoop of other people’s experiences, so if I get to do that while at the same time helping someone find/lure/secure/keep what they are looking for, then that’s a win-win.
    I think if I had to put any helpful hints right here in brief, it would be:

    * envision who you want, and what you have to offer that person, and what arrangement you are ready to move forward with, if you find them.

    * cater your profile to exactly that –appealing to the correct target audience, peaking interest, and making your intentions clear

    * CAST A WIDE NET & brush off rejection asap, when it occurs (and occurs and occurs)

    * keep your antennae on hyper-sensitive & use your best judgment to figure out who is just trying to waste your time

    * err on the side of being overly-cautious with your own privacy, rather than too lax

    * keep your words & attitude fun and interesting, every step of the way, in the contact with someone you believe to be a genuine, viable potential

    * have fun with this, yourself. It’ll be infectuous to those around you.

    * Be reliable as you move forward with someone who is investing themselves towards you, and giving you the benefit of their trust & confidence. Once lost, nearly impossible to regain.

    * Build a warm, genuine friendship as the foundation of your arrangement, if at all possible (if not, then make sure at least you’re charging enough to be a well paid call girl, rather than a discount pro 😉 ). ***Joking***

    One lesson I’ve learned in life is that you are screwed without staunch allies in your corner. Even though the arrangement may be transitory and only an interim affair at the present phase in life, if you establish and maintain trust and affection for one another, you could be building a lifetime friendship that will pay off in the future in a myriad of ways.

    How long have you been sugar dating?

    One month in an arrangement, one month (or a little more) of searching prior to that.

    What is your idea of a perfect arrangement?

    Solid, strong friendship. Everything else is just icing on the mutually beneficial cake (and should be bonus/extra, and is by definition, rather fleeting, as life is dynamic and always changing towards new adventures). This is what I truly consider Friends With Benefits …..rather than a f**kbuddy, which assumes *some* rapport, but not a solid or meaningful connection.

    Sigh. I pulled a Lily.

    Good morning, everyone!!!

  199. Lily says:

    Photogirl, I’m confused. Shoogar Shoes said something to me?

    Anyway, Photogirl and OC, your comments were appreciated and my blog is now wiped clean of any anecdotal tales of any kind. I’ll stick to discussing just my narrow thoughts, perspective, and experiences. I certainly never meant any harm by recounting what I remembered about three different anonymous SA bloggers, and your feedback was appreciated.

    DC SB – I loved your email. I would love you to revise it to a publishable format for the article on the fuzzy line between sugar and traditional dating.

  200. Beach_ Girl in LA!!! says:

    Hey everyone! nice chilly night here in LA…

    Photo~ how you doing?

    Eric~ Are you back in LA?

  201. I don’t suppose there’s any sugarmommas in L.A. out there that wanna get together tomorrow or Tuesday for a coffee or drink?


  202. cleo says:

    photogirl i know of at least one blogger who handed my profile number to a pot and never told me about it. i know because at the time i still bothered talking to him although i’ve since stopped. anyway they were talking and i came up somehow and he asked my name and she provided my profile number

    that’s when i decided to make a new profile and never show it to anyone on the blog. not that i’ve done it yet but nonetheless i really object to my information being handed out and NOT being told about it.

    i think lily should leave out states and make up different screen names but i see no reason not to use anecdotes that have the identifiers filed off.

  203. cleo says:


    i mis stated the question

    what would you say to an SD who offered to skip the allowance negotiation and to leave you monetary gifts when you met… i suspect you might get more if you never negotiated… but i wonder

  204. photogirl says:

    Well, that previous post may not make much sense now. I was referring to Shoogar Shoes comment to you Lily as well as OC’s.

  205. photogirl says:

    Lily – I think you maybe be missing the point here. You posted information that you did not have permission to post about specific bloggers….

    Yes they posted here, which is viewable to anyone… but that does not mean they want it posted elsewhere as well.

  206. Lily says:

    OC- i am happy to change the health topic Q&A to a format which does not copy/paste the newbie blogger’s question or give her blog nickname. Otherwise, is it wrong to ever discuss topics that were publicly hashed out on here, or is it wrong to say that I heard about _____ happening to someone, even when using no nicknames (mentioning ‘a gentleman in Texas told us on the SA blog about _____’ ….? It’s a public blog, and the anecdotal heresay from anonymous parties….just food for thought, really… And the blogger I copy/pasted was on this blog for only a few days before vanishing, so her screenname is particularly inapplicable to anything else besides a few random sugar questions on SA in early February 2010.
    it’s a bad idea to infer that I’ve read/thought about anything happening to anyone via anonymously/publicly posted
    anecdotes? It’s bad idea to refer to this forum existing at all?

  207. AnnaMadrid says:

    VS- hehehe

  208. Virgin Sugar says:

    Anna- Sexy! LOL

  209. Virgin Sugar says:

    This blog is addictive! I haven’t even started reading old blogs yet cuz I’d never leave my laptop!

  210. AnnaMadrid says:

    VS- We’re taking showers at the same time! lol night

  211. Virgin Sugar says:

    Ok, I’m going to take a shower, then sleep.
    Night, Sugars!
    Lily- I’ll email you tomorrow.
    Kouike- welcome! I’m a newbie also! Just joined the site & blog last week. Where are you located?

  212. AnnaMadrid says:

    I’m still up VS:)

  213. Virgin Sugar says:

    *just realized the blog time is on Pacific time* lol

  214. Virgin Sugar says:

    Wow, the blog is slow tonight! Is Sugarland sleeping?

  215. Virgin Sugar says:

    Hey Sugars!
    I waited late to post!
    Yea, I wish I would’ve just relaxed & waited for Pot SDs to come to me, but instead I tried to make contact myself, & it didn’t work out so well. So I joined the blog last week & have been gathering great advice from my sugar sisters!
    About profile updating, I already want to fix mine, but so I don’t keep trying to post then edit & re-post, I’m trying to get everything typed & perfected on a word document, so I can just copy & paste once I’m ready! I like the idea of updating pics frequently. I agree w Shoogar that guys may think its a new profile. Or a Pot who may not have noticed your old pic (maybe didn’t like the hairstyle/color/makeup choice/ whatever randon thing that didn’t catch his eye), maybe likes that new shade of lipstick you just got, or those new highlights makes your face look brighter, & thus more attractive. So update those pics lol

  216. AnnaMadrid says:

    Sis- I’ve been with my sd since the start of this month, so not long. I almost never change pictures.. It probably would’ve helped if I did. Althought a couple of weeks before I decided I wanted to delete my profile, I decided to change change one and add a more recent full body pic.

  217. Kouike says:

    Shoogar Shoes: Good night.

  218. Kouike says:

    AnnaMadrid: Ok lil’ sis, Ok, I just got the email now. Thanks for the advice, I am not against a height of 5’8, I think its a good starting point. Well I am asian so, I am used to short me haha. My father is about 5’8 so how often are you switching out pics? How long have you been with your daddy?

  219. Shoogar Shoes says:

    AnnaMadrid – Just remember to accentuate the positives. If your legs are the best part about you, make sure they are a focal point in one of your photos. If you have a playful personality, show that in another photo. Poses can also be sensual without being sexual.

    Good night, ladies~!

  220. AnnaMadrid says:

    Kouike- I just realised i never sent the email! My lap top died before if got sent.. but I sent it for reall just a moment ago so go check:).. BTW I think I shall call you sis from now on:) You’re older so you have the option of call me baby sis, lil sis, or just sis.. or whatever:)

  221. AnnaMadrid says:

    Shoogar-Good Idea! I think if things don’t work out w my sd I’ll def. have to try that out.. I hate taking pictures though… I’m really not at all photogenic:(
    Goodnight Shoogar:)

  222. Kouike says:

    AnnaMadrid: No email just yet. I will keep on looking.

    OC: Goodnight, yes, I have a new sister.

    Shoogar Shoes: Yes, I thought it would be good to get educated before entering this new world.

  223. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Good night, OC! I am about to do the same myself and retire to my bed and a book. My favorite way to be lulled into la-la land. Ok, wait. Maybe my second favorite… (no explanations needed, I assume.)

    Kouike – I changed mine every 2 weeks. You are doing the right thing by asking questions and reading the blog before delving in! Something I didn’t do and trust me, made some of my own mistakes. Good luck to you and know we are all here to help!

  224. AnnaMadrid says:

    Night OC!

  225. AnnaMadrid says:

    Ok Kouike:)

  226. Kouike says:

    Shoogar Shoes: I know men are a very visual bunch haha. I will keep that in mind, maybe a update every month or so?

    OC- Thank for the email. I don’t think I am ready yet to contact any men, at least not just yet. I will play the wait game at first and see how that goes. A little nervous about contacting some at least.

    AnnaMadrid: I will go check my email now.

  227. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Kouike – to add to OC’s list:

    Something I noticed when I was actively searching is that changing your main photo periodically, increases your exposure as well. I think, but have not confirmed, that when you change your photos you appear as a new profile. Or, so it seems…in my experience. Someone please jump in if I am wrong with this observation.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Shooger I agree with the photo change up routine! I did that all the time but then I am a Marketing Mad Woman 😉

      AnnaMadrid and Kouike you are now officially sugar sisters a’la off blog .. my pleasure

      Ok, my typing is off and my brain needs to do some reading before I call it a night. I dug out my old copy of “The Secret” … a little of soul food before bed .. Nite :)

  228. AnnaMadrid says:

    OC- thanks for forwarding the email:)

  229. AnnaMadrid says:

    Kouike- email sent:)

  230. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Lily – I just saw OC’s post above about you sharing sugar stories from this blog. Oh, my. Something I learned as a reporter is that the pen is mightier than the sword. If the statement is not correct, malicious or damaging, the impact is immediate and lasting.

    There is something called the reporter’s code of ethics. May I offer just two as a helpful resource as you begin to embark on your blogging endeavors?

    Ok, here goes…

    -Truth is your first defense. Do not to use second-hand information without checking the sources and request permission before sharing stories you read from another source that you, yourself, did not write through an agreed interview.

    -Consent is your second defense. Basically, when you are doing an interview, the person you are talking to will know that their comments are “on the record”. That means that everything that they say is a source of information. He/she will ask to be “off the record” if they do not want their name associated with the information given. “Off the record” is a way of getting the information from the source, without letting the readers know it was him/her. You simply tell the information without attributing the source.

    I don’t know about the other two stories you shared, but I am not okay with my story being on your blog. I know I shared it here with our sugar family, but they were shared in MY words and delivered in the way I wanted my own story delivered. Thanks, Lils.

  231. Kouike says:

    OC: Alright, well hopefully my profile will be approved soon, I will let it go for a week or so, and see what kind of traffic I get. Hopefully a lot haha. How many emails is normal to get in a week or so?

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Kouike the amount of email is kind of like the amount of time it takes to find the perfect sugar. It varies from sugar to sugar.
      I can only speak of my own personal experience. The city that was listed on my profile was LA, so it has a larger sugar bowl.
      Tips for gaining exposure of your profile have been posted in the past but here are a few:
      1. Log on to SA several times a day.
      2. Contact only Orange (paying members) for a higher response ratio.
      3. Post a short profile and keep it simple and positive.
      4. Your main picture should be a lovely face shot/second one being a full body shot/third one showing your interests. Try to keep the photos of just yourself do not include others. Blur out features of your face if you are in need of discression. Once you have a solid banter you can send the un-cut version to the potential SD.

  232. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Hi, Yaz! How sweet of you to think of me. I am doing just fine – thanks, darlin’. Busy, busy day. Photogirl and I are in frequent communication so you can always ‘shout out’ to her when I’m M.I.A. :)

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Kouike I do not know what your profile number is so I have no idea if it is up or not. However when you make changes to it, you are not able to view it until it is approved. Please do not post your profile number, just a caution.

  233. AnnaMadrid says:

    Kouike- OC will send you my email address :)

  234. Kouike says:

    AnnaMadrid: Yes I have setup an extra email account for this blog/site. How would I go about showing you my profile?

  235. Shoogar Shoes says:

    Hello All – my first time checking the blog all day. I haven’t even caught up with the last one! I will answer the blog questions first before catching up…

    Do you have any helpful hints for newbie sugar daddies or sugar babies? Approach your sugar dating in the same way you would traditional dating – with honesty – to yourself and your significant sugar.

    How long have you been sugar dating? From SA, 1 year. Technically, when I think about some of my past traditional dating experiences, men I dated were SDs – without the label. With that statement, I mean they were very giving whether it was monetary, gifts, shopping and/or trips. Sites like Seeking Arrangements have now provided an avenue for men and women to outline their specific needs from the beginning of the relationship; dissipating certain ambiguities – thus, accelerating the process of situations that generally come up in traditional dating. (i.e., finances, goals/dreams, needs, desires)

    What is your idea of a perfect arrangement? Chemistry. Trust. Genuine care for one another. One that offers an open line of communication and understanding of each others’ needs. then of course, one that follows the old arrangement credo: “You have YOUR life. I have MY life. And sometimes, we have OUR life.”

  236. AnnaMadrid says:

    Kouike- I’m in the states. Madrid is my fav. city though.. I just listed things about me that I thought would interest me about a person. I thought if I just kinda listed things it would be easier for pots to draw conclusions. I like lists too because I have a hard time reading things unless they are extremely interesting.. Some men actually do read full profiles though. I admit that I was a little lazy when it came to the content.. and I was actually going to delete my profile when all of a sudden i got a random message from my new/first real sd! If you don’t really know what to write just keep it short and sweet, but make sure you make up for that in the pictures you post. The should be all one size for one, and you should invision yourself having a relationship with that person in the picture, for two.. if that makes sense at all. I would’nt mind taking a look at your profile and shootin you some ideas/comments! I’ll just set up a seperate email for this blog, and you should too just as precaution.

  237. Kouike says:

    OC- Is my profile still available to see, while it is pending approval? Is this a slow blog night? I have noticed sometimes it will go to over 700 comments and sometimes it will be under 400.

  238. Kouike says:

    OC: Oh dear, almost a year, wow. I would wonder why Thursday thru Sunday. I would imagine that a daddy would like to have the weekend with a SugarBaby, but I will take your advice to heart OC. Thanks

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Kouike, I am not saying that SD’s don’t search the other days! It just seems to be a higher view/email/contact trend that I have seen for myself.
      Not stating for everyone! But never disable your profile on a Sunday. That is a big searching day/evening…

  239. Kouike says:

    AnnaMadrid: And here I had thought you left. Are you in Madrid? I would wonder if you could take a look at my profile. Sometimes I find I hate writing those things, it is like you can never say who you are, without writing a novel, and I am sure men will just skip over it, if I did.

  240. AnnaMadrid says:

    That comment was for Kouike

  241. AnnaMadrid says:

    I’ve been on this site for about two years, but I havn’t been actively “looking” for a sd for a better part of a year. I would recommend finishing your profile because it takes 24 hours to get approved everytime you try to make changes.. That could limit the amount of views you get and it’s also frustrating if you impatient like myself:)

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      I am still here too! Making changes does put you back in the profile approval loop.
      The best bet is to make changes on Mondays or Tuesdays. The other days are busy busy traffic days for SD’s searching.
      Expecially Thursday thru Sunday. You want your profile to be available on the busy activity days!

      It can take anywhere from a month to a year to find the perfect arrangement. It varies from sugar to sugar :)

  242. Kouike says:

    Well, I think I have chased everyone off. Or is everyone calling it an early night?

  243. Kouike says:

    AnnaMadrid: New, nothing so far, I have completed my profile, sort of. I am still waiting for my profile and pics to be approved. About how long have you been online here, before you were able to land a daddy?

  244. AnnaMadrid says:

    Hey Kouike! I’m doing well. I’m not new to SA but I recently got involved in my first sd/sb relationship earlier this month. How about yourself?

  245. Kouike says:

    AnnaMadrid: Hello, I think there is only a few of us in here. How are you doing, and how new are you to sugar dating?

  246. AnnaMadrid says:

    Hey all!! I’m back:)

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Lily, today I viewed your blog. Two concerns.
      1st one is that what happens on the blog ususally
      stays on the blog. But case in point you have taken
      one actual post (cut and pasted) it onto yours.
      2nd one is that another instance you stated
      comments regarding two bloggers that had
      sugargone bad stories. Actually giving the
      state that one hails from.
      It makes me take even further caution of posting
      items that can be taken out of context or even
      posted on another site/blog.
      Please try to stay on the extreme side
      caution and use the utmost discression with fellow
      sugar bloggers. This is not written to insult or hurt
      your feelings. It is just to offer guidance and concern.
      Understandably this is a public blog and our written
      word is not in lock-down, so you have not done anything
      wrong. It just gives a warning to fellow posters that
      what they write if they are not discreet in what they post
      may show up elsewhere.

  247. lisa says:

    Percy will be traveling via taxi (hidden in a hair dryer box as the taxis don’t transport pets. He will then move into a larger box until I can get to petsmart and get him a place of his own.

  248. Midwest says:

    Sweet dreams sugars! Congrats to all our Canadian friends!

  249. lisa says:

    Good evening everyone

    Logging on from the Mac, got to get use to using a laptop again. Got desktop all packed and ready to go. Exhausted from working and packing all evening. Hopefully the movers will come in the middle of the 7-noon window they gave me. Would like to be in apartment by 1 or 2 so I can get out and see parents. Will spend the evening uppacking and most of tuesday.

    Going to bed soon. Have a good night everyone

  250. Midwest says:

    Kouike – Approval times vary. Most wait until during the week to make changes to their profiles. Yes, “Dress appropriately” means not like a prostitute at the very least :) . Make sure you have an idea of where you are going and what would be appropriate (charity function vs live theater vs coffee). If he likes skirts/ dresses, opt for that over slacks, etc.

  251. Kouike says:

    Midwest: Dress appropriately, I like that, not like a prostitute I imagine you mean? haha. How long does it take for the profile and pictures to be approved?

  252. Midwest says:

    Kouike – Welcome! Take a deep breath and relax! He must already be fairly interested since you are meeting soon. Conversation starters can vary widely…continue an interesting conversation you were holding while getting to know one another, take cues from your surroundings, etc. Always ask open-ended questions as it helps to keep the conversation moving rather than just getting yes/no answers. Don’t approach the allowance on the first date unless he brings it up first. Should he do so, know what you want and answer his questions honestly. Mostly, be prepared to listen. He will likely tell you what he does/ does not want in an arrangement. Be sweet, charming, flirt, dress appropriately and enjoy his company. Best of luck!!

  253. Yaz says:

    Photogirl~ Thanks! I am glad to hear that. :-) I am used to reading her posts every day so it felt weird not seeing one from her today…

  254. photogirl says:

    Yaz – I have been in touch with her today… she is ok.

  255. Kouike says:

    Hello all, I am new here, and I wanted to know, what to expect when meeting a daddy, and what should be a good convo starter, plus how to go about allowance questions.

  256. Yaz says:

    Maybe I missed it but I havent seen one post from Shoogar Shoes today…I hope she’s ok!

  257. Kiki says:

    Hello everyone… I’ve been MIA this last little while so I’m going to go back through the blogs and try to catch up. But I did want to say:

    1. Cleo, and other Canucks, I’m still interested in a meet and am very flexible as far as dates go…. but I’ll have to search the old blogs b/c I don’t think I saw the e-mail addy you posted.

    2. CANADA ROCKS! Have you seen our gold medal count!?!? 😉

    Goodnight everone, I’ll be back soon once I’m all caught up!

  258. Yaz says:

    Ok I just finished catching up with the rest of the comments.

    SSSD: I am so happy you are back! :-) :-) Gail and I have told the entire blog what a wealth of knowledge and an amaaaazing man and SD you are and it is good to see you back on the blog! You will soon notice that there are also a lot of new and equally great SDs who contribute to the blog on a daily basis. :-)

    Gail~ How can I ever forget? Happy anniversary to you too 😉 Its been a year today but it still feels like yesterday. I will never be able to forget about it since my dad passed away a week after we got back from Vegas. My sugar sisters and the entire blog family were there to help me cope with my loss so, on this date I will always be drawn back to the blog one way or the other.

  259. The Lone Gunman says:

    LTG: Sorry to hear of the troubles you are going through. Sounds like you need a round the clock nurse to help you through. I’m sure you could find several on the blog who would love to help nurse you back to health.

    That is a bit…scary.

    The CURE might actually kill me!


  260. Midwest says:

    PG – Thanks! I will certainly keep going and improving on my newfound love!

  261. ESB says:

    Good evening all… Im being lazy, so I’m not going to try to tag everyone who is on tonight.

    Congrats to the Canadians in the house. Good job!! My XBF just sent me a text to rub it in. Any excuse to keep in contact with me…. but no response on my part.

    I am so going to go to the library tomorrow and get that book. I had some kind of ESP when I was younger. My mother, being the religious person she is, thought it was creepy. I stopped focusing on the skill, and have almost lost it. Maybe I’ll find a way to “hone” in on it again. I’m excited about learning something new.

    MM: (or just M) I was suposed to go skiing this weekend, but backed out to help my friend move. I have no time for healing, and it takes WAY to long these days. I am sore from lifting, but it is better than the aches of falling and crouching. Squats X 100 I’m sure!!

    LTG: Sorry to hear of the troubles you are going through. Sounds like you need a round the clock nurse to help you through. I’m sure you could find several on the blog who would love to help nurse you back to health. 😉

  262. photogirl says:

    Midwest – Glad you were both still able to enjoy it. I have not been in years but it is so much fun!

  263. Midwest says:

    Stepping down as the matriarch :-) I prefer learning from those who are slowly drifting back to us.

  264. Yaz says:

    Hi Midwest!

    Villa!!! Glad to see you back! :-)

  265. Matrriarch Midwest says:

    Hi Yaz, Lily and lurkers!

    I FINALLY had a chance to try skiing and I am sooooooo sore! Any offers of a full body massage please? I had a terrific time and was grateful for patient instructors. Note to self: It is highly recommended to first learn to ski, then take young one on slopes with you. I was absolutely no help for him at all today! He was such a great sport though.

    Cleo – I loved your comment on what you wanted…bravo! If all those wonderful experiences should come my way, I would consider them a bonus, but we do hear the exotic sugar stories and it gives one a glimmer of hope.

  266. Yaz says:

    Where is Shoogar shoes???

  267. Lily says:

    Hey congrats, Canadian bloggers.

    I just spent 3 hours improving my Blog & adding two more articles. Whew. Off to bed now. I told you guys I had a lot of spare time on my hands! Only VS and Megs have helped me pass the time with discussing their newbie issues & gossip with me, and the rest of you just left me alone with my silly little sugar blog to tinker with. I just love finding hilarious images to add to it. The best one I found today was the “Gold Digger….Like a Hooker, only Smarter” with a retro comic image of a smiling lady. Fuuuuunnnnny. I used it as the image for my first blog article, “Thoughts on Becoming a Sugar Baby” or whatever it was called. Oh and the 6-pack guy vs. chubby guy photo that is the image for my most recent article kept me chuckling for several minutes this evening. I am so easily amused.

    I’m starting to wonder what would be other interesting blog topics for my own personal blog that I haven’t mused upon yet? Not that it’s your guys’ job at all to give me ideas of what to touch on, on my own pointless sugar blog, but I was just curious as to if anyone had a good idea. Again, these next 4-5 days are very empty. I already stole Cleo’s question about ‘gift daddies vs. travel daddies vs. allowance daddies’ and made a brief article about it. It was kind of boring, but I guess a newbie wouldn’t know what on earth a ‘gift daddy’ is, relatively speaking, so it’s relevant.

    Profile Pointers is one that I haven’t mentioned at all, and probably will at some point. Stealing all Flo’s advice and regurgitating it of course.

    And one topic I remember seeing on this blog a long time ago is the concept of depreciating sugar? Does this really exist? Like, a SD will start the arrangement with a set allowance/sugar schema and it will decrease rapidly over the subsequent months until it fizzles altogether? I have no idea how anything but the hunt/initial weeks of an arrangement goes, so this is totally foreign info for me. How (and why) do sugar relationships sour? How is this generally handled, especially from a financial support point of view? Surely the normal cruelty (and total abruptness, sometimes) of break-ups doesn’t apply if someone is counting on a certain level of financial help? Or does it?

    I’m boooooooored……….. someone humor me if they are also boooooooooooored.

    TLG, hope you are all better soon!!!!

  268. lil'SB says:

    Oh! Nygent, are you coming to the toronto meet? (Which will be sometime in April, clearly not April 3rd cause cleo and I forgot that was easter weekend…)

  269. lil'SB says:

    Thank you nygent! Man the people are going crazy this side of the border….

  270. nygent says:

    Congrats yaz, cleo, beach and other canadians!

  271. lil'SB says:

    Canada wins hockey gold! 😀

    And now, back to your regular programming…

  272. LASB says:

    VC – That’s quite a story! Very cool! Maybe he had/has information for you.

    Photogirl and VC – We all have ESP, but how apparent it is depends on whether you’ve shut it off or nurtured it. I believe there’s a new consciousness arising, where it’s going to be more accepted to nurture it and probably more important too. I’d recommend that you keep exploring it. It’s changed my life. If nothing else, it’s pretty damn fun!

  273. LASB says:

    Hi everyone. Trying to catch up on the blog, but watching hockey. This game just got really good. :)

  274. The Lone Gunman says:

    Photo: Resting as best possible. I have the wildest bunch of devices attached to my wondrous pink body right now that are scheduled to come out in about six weeks time. No major surgery required then, thank Bob, but I can hardly wait to be able to do things normally again.


  275. photogirl says:

    TLG – I’ve had to remind myself many times that WALDT… otherwise I may have given up long ago. And you’re right… you need to keep an open mind as well… or you may MISS out on something very special!

    Good to see you back on here and hope you are resting up!

  276. The Lone Gunman says:

    Do you have any helpful hints for newbie sugar daddies or sugar babies?

    Echoing what others have said: read the prior blogs for some insight as to how differing folks approach sugar to determine just where you fit into the Sugar World, or if you are better off in the Mundane World.

    Always remember, too, that WALDT (We All Like Different Things), so be flexible in your attitudes and experiences you’re willing to try–you might find something very special!


  277. Lily says:

    He has 4, and I have only read 2 of them!!!! Darnit!!
    I also found Leonard Shalif’s ‘Sec, Time, & Power’ to be amazing, as one of the SDs on here mentioned last month.

    A General Theory of Love –also amazing. Forgetting authors.

  278. photogirl says:

    VC – My mom used to think I did when I was younger. I am going to the bookstore this week so I will definitely pick it up and check out his other books as well.

  279. VillaCypris says:

    Taz – thank you! Good to see you as well.

    AnnaMadrid – yes, I was floored!

    Photo – thank you! Glad you are still here…. yeah, experiences like that make me think i have *ESP* of some kind! :) definitely read the book.

    ALright, I am truly leaving now…. ciao all!

  280. photogirl says:

    ahh… and welcome back VC!

  281. photogirl says:

    Villa – Interesting story…I have had similiar things happen to me, now I need to go read that book.

  282. AnnaMadrid says:

    Villa- Wow, simply amazing:) (for lack of a better word)

  283. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Hey sugars!

    VC so great to see you back :)

    Haven’t read through any of the other posts yet…will be catching up shortly!

  284. Lisa's Apparently Not Former SD (The one in NY) says:

    On the subject of early discussions, which was asked about yesterday most especially by Virgin I think,

    The first thing is to look to yourself and decide to be comfortable with any reasonable way of discussing important topics like intimacy or allowance, etc. Then figure out what your pot feels comfortable with and do it their way.

    That will be your first act of sugar in the relationship – finding out their needs and satisfying them. It will earn you points with the pot. It will put you ahead of almost everyone else in the search game.

  285. VillaCypris says:

    And, no, I did not see him in the audience on TV….. 😉

    Have a great afternoon everyone! I’m heading out. It’s *summer* in the tundra!!!!!xxxxx

  286. VillaCypris says:

    AnnaMadrid – it IS an amazing book… I’ll have to go back and re-read it myself… the whole concept of “thin slicing” is fascinating…

    funny story about when I was reading the book…. when I lived in Monaco, I flew between Nice and the USA via Amsterdam, and so bought the book at the airport there. The night before one of my flights home, I was watching some news on Italian TV and they were showing footage of a programme at the Vatican. Saw some altar boys, and for some reason, the priest from my grade school, whom Ill call Fr. F, popped into my head. I’d not thought of him in years.

    So, the next morning, toting BLINK, I fly up to AMS, and get thru half the book. Am sitting on the plane bound for the USA, reading away, and look up occasionally as people are boarding. And there, 20 years older, 40 pounds heavier is someone I *know* is Father F!!!!!

    I looked, and looked again, and all the things I’d been reading in Blink about how it only takes two seconds for our subconscious to race thru all the circuits and bring back memories/establish “intuition”…. flooded my brain. I thought it HAS to be him…. he came closer and closer, and voila! Sat down RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Creepy!!! After he got settled, I said, excuse me, but are you Father F?

    he looked at me with wide eyes and said, Yes, I am! Who are you?
    I’m Dr.________’s daughter, you were the priest when I was in gradeschool at St ________.

    Crazy! So I told him how the night before I had seen footage from the Vatican and had thought of him, after having no thoughts of him for 20 years. He said, “that is quite amazing, because I WAS THERE at the vatican last night”.


    He’d flown up from Rome to AMS that morning to catch the flight back here.

    Long story, I know…. but that is why BLINK is so dear to my heart… 😀

  287. AnnaMadrid says:

    Lily & Villa- I looked it up and from what I read it sounds amazing! Who would’ve thought someone could figure out intimate details of persons life just by reading their facial expressions! Just amazing! However, that does make me a little uneasy in a way…

  288. Lily says:

    I recommend Blink, as well. Changed my life.

    (And Tipping Point…. Gladwell’s a genius!!!)

  289. Lily says:

    Morning/Afternoon, everyone!!

    Sugar news/saga continues… OriginalSD (who poofed complety for 5-6 weeks) has said his preference is for him to deliver my red coat to me in ‘my suite overlooking central park.’

    I responded that it’s fine with me & suggested Saturday. Ball’s in his court.

    SS-the only reason I’ve seen his log-in activity in February is if I see him in search results inadvertently. Stalked him in January, not february.

  290. AnnaMadrid says:

    VillaCypris says:
    “AnnaMadrid – I could not agree more…. one’s “gut instinct” or intuition is a valuable tool which should never be neglected… read Malcolm Gladwell’s “BLINK” for a more in depth explanation”…

    Villa-Thanks, I’ll have to look that up:)


  291. ESB says:

    :) and to everyone else, yes, I am going ot give this my best shot. My life is where it is because of my attitude, I have given up on myself, so I must be the one to push my self out of it. New day, new me. Funny thing is, I have always been a possitive person. The past 6 months have put me in a place I never thought I’d be in. Time to crawl back out.

    OC: sorry about the headache. I am surprised I don’t have one. I decided after my 3rd Smirnoff Ice (raspbery burst!) it was time to stop and start to drink water. I feel prety good this morning! Was up at 8:30 and headed home. Not so sure how the girl I moved is doing, pretty sure she will be hurting for the morning at least!

  292. Anna Molly says:

    Awwww, thanks ESB :)

    Never give up! Sometimes the search for sugar can be a real PITA, but the rewards are so sweet 😉

  293. ESB says:

    AM: You truely give me hope. I am looking for that as well. Since I am single, an SD turned BF would be perfect for me, but will take it one day at a time. In NO hurry to jump back into something I can’t get out of with out my heart being smashed again. I am glad you are so happy!! :)

  294. Anna Molly says:

    Do you have any helpful hints for newbie sugar daddies or sugar babies?
    Read the blogs and ask questions! The blog is a treasure trove of information and support! Without the support of the friends I have made here I seriously doubt I would have continued my search for sugar and given up. Everyone here is so supportive and without all of you I never would have had the courage to continue on. Thank you all and that includes you Stephan! Without all of you cheering me on I wouldn’t have found such an amazing man. :)

    How long have you been sugar dating?
    October 2009

    What is your idea of a perfect arrangement?
    Spending quality time with a person you truely connect with on all levels.

  295. VillaCypris says:

    No apology necessary, ESB… you didn’t know I was here when you said good morning to the others. :) but thank you. Same to you! I hope your new positive attitude/turning over a new leaf will bring lots of good fortune your way!


    enjoy your workout. It’s sunny and spring like here, a massive powerwalk is on the horizon!

  296. ESB says:

    Villa, sorry, I forgot to say good morning to you. I Hope your weekend is going well.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Good Morning ESB love the attitude! Trust me fake it till you can feel the happiness attitude works every time :)

      My blog time is just about over for this morning. Have a weee bit of a cocktail headache this morning. My date was perfect but I may have been talking far too much and forgot to put food in my mouth to soak up the alcohol. My bad…
      Off to work off the alcohol.

  297. VillaCypris says:

    Good morning everyone! Happy SUN day! 😀

    Beach, Anna Molly, Midwest, thanks for the welcome back!

  298. ESB says:

    Wow, we are changing blogs pretty fast these days.

    Cleo: LOL.. Love your list of wants. I right there with you. My realistic and my “dream” list are pretty far from each other. If I find the one who will supply me with dreams, I hope I never wake up!!

    I have had so many “POOF” and after some pretty intense conversations where I though, “finally, I got a real one”, and made some great connections with. Makes me wonder what these guys are looking for? I’m getting good at not taking it personally.

    SSSD: I’ve heard some very nice things about you, even before you came back in the last few days. Will be a pleasure to read your input and get to “know” you. I hope you have a safe trip, look forward to hearing more when you get back.

    Photo, AM, Lily, Jade, OC, MM: Good morning ladies. If I missed anyone, I am sorry.

    It is Sunday, I am starting a new leaf on life with the new week, and am determined to be HAPPY about it!!

  299. Matrriarch Midwest says:

    Do you have any helpful hints for newbie sugar daddies or sugar babies? First, always trust your instincts…if it looks suspicious, it is likely to be so. Second, always feel free to ask the blog if you are not sure. Third, this takes work and patience. Finally, you MUST have a thick skin…people will be rude, poof, ignore your e-mails and collect pics. Beyond that, sugar is VERY sweet once you find it. There are plenty of genuine potential sds out there. Not everyone will be a great match, but one meant for you can and will come along. Hang in there.

    How long have you been sugar dating? Since Oct 2009.

    What is your idea of a perfect arrangement? Where both parties are having their needs met and having fun doing it :-)

    VC – Hi!! Hope you are well!

    AM, PG, SSSD, Lily and all others..Good morning!

  300. Jade says:

    Some guys think just paying for the meal means they should get some sugar………… but sadly that is not the case with me, I need a solid arrangement in place.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      The flip side can also be said…
      Some girls think that if a Pot SD takes them to dinner they should get some sugar.
      The sugar dance is specific to each individual sugar. No right no wrong.
      Try to understand that we each seek to find very different arrangments.
      Your needs and wants will not fit with 99% of the SD’s out there
      unless you have the true sugar qualities they seek and are flexible with not
      only your expectations of sugar but with schedules in general.
      The number one bells and whistles tippy top love to find a sugar who..
      Can be discreet. That is what truly makes an SD happy the rest can be worked out.
      But talking to others and giving details, dates time place even city they are
      traveling to can be harmful.
      Someone posted earlier that the art of being a true SB and understanding
      all it entails is becoming harder and harder to find.
      Being discreet is not an “option” it is a “must have” in any sugar
      arrangement or even sugar friendship.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Cleo many of us have had “Gift Daddy’s” and it was lovely. My hair appts were pre-paid, thoughtful items were sent directly to my home. For some SD’s it is easier to give a gift than a large monthly allowance. Sometimes a combination of both can be the balance. Gift Daddie’s are fun!

  301. Lily says:

    Gifts are nice. But they should be perhaps very valuable ( to the recipient–I’m not speaking of strict dollar amount) to have the relationship count as sugar.

  302. cleo says:

    what would you say to an as who offered to never negotiate an allowance at all? just offered to leave you gifts etc?

  303. Anna/Molly says:

    Hi Cleo and PG!

    Cleo, doing well thank you :)

  304. cleo says:

    please start suggesting dates that suit you guys that live out of town? pretty please with sugar on top?

    *batting eyelashes*
    *puppy dog eyes*
    *hair twirl*
    *funny foot twitching*



  305. photogirl says:

    Good morning.

    I’d love to come to a Toronto meet…BUT Easter weekend does not work for me either since it is ‘family time’.

  306. cleo says:

    oh and good morning anna molly!

    how are you this lovely day?

  307. cleo says:

    Lily i’m sorry to tell you that i don’t think he’ll knock it off. my guy was smart and actually funny but his idea of himself was stuck in high school with the nerds. he was also allergic to personal grooming so you know, not too hard to dump after a while. [he showered but did not dentist or trim his beard and his clothing was all covered in holes but omg what a hot brain!]
    folks you could look for your blog name when you drop in to see if people have spoken to you. otherwise they feel ignored; especially if they’ve gone to some length to reply to your unanswered questions. maybe it’s just me that does said searching?

    we have a proposed date of april 3 from lil’sb and a veto from beach [a good one, if it’s easter i don’t want to schedule a meet a lot of folks can’t come to due to family] and no emails to either my cleo inbox which you all have or the new address. i confess that if i don’t start getting some proposed dates in the mail from out of towners i’ll stop trying to organize anything but taz, myself, kiki?, lil’sb and whoever else lives here.

    okay? ok.


  308. Anna/Molly says:

    Good morning!

    VC – So nice to see you 😀

    SSSD – Hello and welcome back. Hopefully I will see you on the blog again soon.

    Loving the new blog vibe 😉
    Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

  309. Lily says:

    I didn’t realize there was a new blog today! I was refreshing the old one and wondering why I silenced it. I posted this awhile ago today, and probably no one saw it:

    Virgin Sugar, your questions (comments) on my blog topics were great. I went ahead and wrote pretty thorough responses on both your comments, and I’d be interested to hear from any more experienced sugars from this blog if they agreed with what I told her, or they had a vastly different approach to allowance negotiations. The articles to click on re: finding this thread of discussion on my blog is, “Going on First Dates with Potentials” and “The Perfect First Date, Now What?” if anyone has time to kill and wants to read and let me know what they think.

    I am WIDE OPEN for differing viewpoints. Again, only one month in the sugarbowl. Not an expert.

    and yeah, Cleo, it is an issue. I hope he knocks it off and can pick & choose the right moments to be silly, and let me have breathers from it.

  310. Beach_ Girl in LA!!! says:

    Hello Sugars!
    Didn’t rain tonight… finally! i will need a vacation from this vacation, i’m a little burnt out! HA… 😀

    Cleo~ April 3rd isn’t good at all for me, it’s Easter weekend and that is my busiest time for me…

    VC~ Girl, it’s so nice to see you here…

    SSSD~ hi and welcome back, not that we have met…. hope to see you here more, heard a lot about you! 😀

    Lisa~ congrats girl, hope the move goes well!

    Hi to everyone i missed and welcome to all the newbies!

  311. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    SSSD – have a safe trip and hope to see you back on the blog again soon :)

  312. SSSD says:

    Ah, so there are some of the familiar crowd in here. I guess I just visited at the wrong time.

    VillaCyprus , such kind words. Thank you. Gail, hope you’ve been taking care. Matrriarch Midwest, thanks for welcome. OC & photogirl, good to see you again!

    I’ll be heading out to Asia tomorrow for about a week. Don’t know if I’ll be posting here or not while I’m out there.

  313. cleo says:

    and now that i’m all caught up?

    night all!

  314. cleo says:

    SSSD : to link your profile use the link you get when you ‘preview your profile’

    to make it viewable to the opposite sex remove the word same
    to make it viewable to the world regardless of login remove the word member

    i think that’s it.

    that said i haven’t had mine up in a bit… let me see if i’m right
    TLG! hey nice to see you. sorry to hear about your complications etc but glad you’re healing!

  315. Its simple. I think for a sugar baby its very important to just be yourself, be honest, and make him happy.. If you do that then the arrangement should go smoothly if you have the right SD.

  316. Virgin Sugar says:

    *Aww, I jus got off work :( I hope everyone isn’t logging off

  317. cleo says:

    villa i am very glad to hear that! i’m not sure an sb should even try the sugar bowl unless she has her head pretty together. it’s brutal in here…
    FL-SD: ah … nice, perhaps it will help you figure out her clues next time you’re negotiating with a sugar baby :)
    re old blog:
    lily i actually had a relationship that ended in part because his constant sexual humour at my expense in front of my friends and family was too mortifying to everyone. always these little jokes about our sex life and my prowess and icky. even in front of my sister’s NEW MOTHER IN LAW at christmas dinner!

    it’s funny how much that can be an issue huh?
    regarding first time posters and lurkers coming out of the woodwork?

    my nana always said if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. maybe we could all find a more positive and constructive approach?
    Jade: omg i love you can’t squeeze a lemon and get apple juice analogy. love it.
    SSSD i intermittently link my profile but have decided not to much longer. that said, i consider my current profile to be sort of… compromised so eventually i will get around to making a new one and never link it here. i’m too free with too many identifying details here, need to delink it from my face.

    i shall leave the current one as a place holder profile with a comment that it’s a blogger profile, just so people can email me but all info and pics will be removed.

    re another of your posts – perhaps you could elaborate on how sb’s help alleviate stress… that was interesting and i wanted to read more :)
    reads more scroll

  318. FL-SD says:

    Goodnight all

  319. VillaCypris says:

    Cleo – NO! Not at all…. but I always try to think *positive* and envision that which I want/desire…. i’ve also realised that * I * am the only one who can make me happy… it’s taken a lot of pressure off finding someone outside me to do the same…. impossible. I’m in a good place 😀

  320. FL-SD says:

    Cleo – your comments re: real needs in an arrangement as well as the “in a perfect world” desires resonates with me.

  321. cleo says:

    villa i hope that means someone wonderful swept you away!

  322. VillaCypris says:

    Cleo – I know. It * IS* possible… :)
    hang in there….

  323. FL-SD says:

    lil’SB – I second the idea of an etiquette FAQ.

  324. cleo says:

    villa that would sure be lovely :)

  325. VillaCypris says:

    cleo – sure… fantasy and reality can coincide… think positive… :)
    create your own reality… i’m off to sleep. nite nite… sweet dreams to you! xxxxx

  326. cleo says:

    FL-SD: how have i guided thee sir?


    um… you’re welcome but i’m not sure for what …

  327. cleo says:

    FL-SD i flaked on at least a few potentials when i came down unexpectedly with the stomach flu or got hit by real life (or, once, was terribly not attracted to his photos)

    i would say a decent chunk of flakes on either side are just people whose lives got in the way.
    lil’sb: april 3 works for me.


    april third

    villa: you know what i mean, sure there’s the fantasy of being whisked off to a chateau in bordeaux but at the same time i would be delighted with far less…

  328. lil'SB says:

    In addition to FAQs, SA should have a subsection for SD/SB etiquette…

  329. FL-SD says:

    Cleo Thanks for the guidance

  330. lil'SB says:

    cleo- Me too, it was a pleasure meeting you. :) I think setting a tentative date ahead of time will be a good idea so people will have an idea of what date they ought to work around. Then if an overwhelming number of people simply feel that the date is a bad idea and we hear from them, then we can certainly change that around, no problem.

    Villacypris – yes I feel like the nature of the internet, the anonymity, makes people feel entitled to be more rude without having to fear the consequences *sigh*

    FL-SD- Ah, I didn’t think that it was so common the other way around!

  331. VillaCypris says:

    Cleo – that IS realistic! Stick to what you want… sadly enough, i’ve learned that so many SAY one thing and NEVER “DO” another… which is a broader lesson for us, indeed… that we need to “take care” of ourselves…. for at the “end of the day” the only person on whom you can count is…. YOU!!! 😀

  332. cleo says:

    FL-SD: re your cross posted response. this is why i want an experienced SD. someone needs to know the road…

  333. cleo says:

    villa i’ve had men specifically tell me they wouldn’t poof and promise to communicate no matter what (i didn’t ask for these assurances) and then? total poof.
    FL-SD that’s a tough question for someone like me.

    i make enough to pay my bills but i’m not managing to take care of the five grand sitting on my credit card irritating me to death. so for me there is a whole range of ‘acceptable’ possibilities in the sugar world up to and including a gift/travel daddy. man i hate the word sugar daddy… i don’t need a daddy, i need a man!

    anyway, i would prefer an arrangement involving an allowance over gifts because i have these niggly financials but at the same time if he’s buying me dinners and lingerie and travel and so on this is money i don’t have to spend that i can then apply to my debt.

    so it’s hard, financially at least, for a woman like me to be really clear about her wants and needs since the range is so broad and so much depends on the chemistry and the man in question.

    and as for what i want?

    someone to pay off my credit card and sock me with five grand every month just to toss in the bank and some first class travel and a whole series of frivolous designer things like those gorgeous prada sunglasses. i want to be whisked off to live on a sailboat or a mountain side cabin or a beach or a houseboat or a cruise ship and eat exotic food and see crazy things and experience the world. i want to learn twenty different languages and swim in all the major bodies of water on earth. i want a great sex life and lively debates and a friend and someone who will not be threatened by my incredible brain and ridiculous self sufficiency and quick little wit. i want to end up independently wealthy by the time i’m fifty and i want to go play on racetracks and dance barefoot through the downtowns of half the major cities of the world and i want to learn to cook the native cuisines of many places WITH natives and i want to live barefoot and wearing the same rotten pair of jeans for days on end in some incredibly remote corner of the world or maybe a different elegant outfit every evening in a glamorous …

    oh sorry, you mean what do i want that’s realistic?

  334. FL-SD says:

    lil’SB Agree with you on responding to photos with some sort of response. It happens on both sides of the communications. Probably 1/3 of the time, in my case.
    I share your frustration.

  335. VillaCypris says:

    Cleo – “spayed” lol. From what I have heard, he *IS* an amazing man. Honest, to the point, with integrity to match.

    FL -SD – of course. Until YOU are clear on your wants/needs, you cannot communicate them to others. I hope you found someone who meets your criteria! xx

  336. FL-SD says:

    Hi Cleo,
    Knowing what you want probably is a separate item.
    In my personal experience it’s the first thing. My first pot SB (far more experienced in the sugar world) worried about my lack of sugar experience.
    And she was right. I had to take a time out and really figure out my own needs before I could be an effective partner.

  337. cleo says:

    villa: sam spade or sam spayed? i think it’s a kinda awesome name either way… and wow, what a glowing recommendation, i look forward to ‘meeting’ him
    lil’sb: awesome meeting you btw

    do you think we should set a date before we know who wants to come and when it works for them? that said no one has emailed me.

    meet organizers how do you get people to actually contact you when they say they want to come? i have posted my email repeatedly and nothing. do you guys want us to make a new email address like torontosugarmeet at wherever?
    villa: works

  338. VillaCypris says:

    lil’SB – i agree with you… a rejection is better than nothing… to be in “limbo”, left wondering, is quite unpleasant…. people should have better manners… but that’s the nature of the internet… we are dispatched with, as if we are not human, and do not have feelings… it’s sad… a decline in humanity….

  339. VillaCypris says:

    Hi lil’SB! Cool! i did it “same detail” so the girls can see it :)

    how’ve you been???

  340. FL-SD says:

    Hi Cleo,
    Knowing what you want probably is a separate item.
    In my personal experience it’s the first thing. And for me the toughest, because it evolved based on my experiences here.

  341. lil'SB says:

    Villa, your link works for me!

  342. lil'SB says:

    Oh! Oh! Cleo, so toronto meet, april 3rd, yes?! 😀

  343. VillaCypris says:

    ha. testing the profile link….

  344. lil'SB says:

    Erg…that success is unpredictable is so right. I’ve been contacted and poofed on by like the last 5 “SD’s” and its pretty frustrating.

    Open Letter to Newbie SDs,

    I’d really appreciate it if you would let me know with a quick sentence or two if you’re still interested after I send you my picture instead of poofing and leaving me hanging. I understand that you’re really busy people, but it would make many SBs feel much better knowing right away if they ought to move on instead of being all hung up and worrying about you, and we’d be so grateful knowing that you took the time to let us know that we’re not your type. We’re smart girls, we understand that everyone has different tastes! Thank you~

  345. VillaCypris says:

    Hi Cleo!!!!!!!! 😀

    I’m well…. am operating at 45% on the left wrist… my own fault for being less-than-diligent on my PT exercises…. :( …. otherwise, im doing very well! And you?

    SSSD = Sam Spayed SD… I saw him post that on the last blog 😉

    he’s a fantastic man… I’ve not had the pleasure of meeting him in person, but he is honest, genuine, and has a very good idea of the criteria which encapsulate an “SD”…. a gem.

  346. cleo says:

    villa: omg ltns!!! lol

    seriously though, it’s lovely to see you. h ow have you been?
    SSSD? what does the SS stand for?
    FL-SD: i wonder if ‘know what you want’ isn’t a separate item? it’s hard to be clear and direct if you don’t have a direction yourself…

  347. VillaCypris says:

    Hello FL-SD – I was remiss in not saying “HI” earlier.

    I concur, honesty/clarity/communication are some of the most important qualities in any relationship.

  348. VillaCypris says:

    Elegant aka Shoogar Shoes – thank god you’re okay… I was worried about you, reading your posts about the stalker….

    Lisa – SO HAPPY for you!!!!!! That you’ve moving out of that scary apartment block!!! how exciting, to be in a new apartment, on the “right” side of town. I really could not be happier for you!

    SSSD – Sam, very happy to see you back on the blog… hope you’ve been well these past few months….

  349. FL-SD says:

    I think the best advice is to be honest about your needs. Know what you want and make sure your pot understands your needs. Communicate promptly and thoroughly.

  350. VillaCypris says:

    AnnaMadrid – I could not agree more…. one’s “gut instinct” or intuition is a valuable tool which should never be neglected… read Malcolm Gladwell’s “BLINK” for a more in depth explanation….

  351. VillaCypris says:

    Greetings, all….

    wow, I just realised I have not posted in over one month!

    am home early this evening, so wanted to say hello. My best advice for “newbies” is to peruse some of the old blogs… there is lots of valuable information to be gleaned from them.

    A “Perfect arrangement”…. in my opinion, is one wherein both parties respect each other, treat each other with kindness and dignity, cherish the time they share, and enhance each others’ lives in ways which otherwise would be empty. It’s difficult to find… as with “in real life” relationships, I think the biggest challenge is to find someone who “likes” you as much as you “like” them… sounds elementary, but so many people waste so much time trying to win over the hearts of people who will never be conquered, or who will never return the affection in like manner.


  352. AnnaMadrid says:

    i’m a newbie but one thing I’ve learned is to listen to your gut instincts!