9 years ago
Happy Spring Break Sugars!


Do you have any plans for the weekend? Does anyone have a Spring Break arrangement in the works?

“SDs – who is your favorite Bond Girl?

SBs- who is your favorite Bond? ” – Midwest

486 Responses to “Happy Spring Break Sugars!”

  1. AdrianeSB says:

    Good afternoon/morning! Just got back from a loooong lunch with a pot SD and I’m just.. wow. Will write about it to my blog in a minute! :)

  2. Lily says:

    Wake up, sugars!!!! It’s 6:30am in NYC. Up & at ’em, tigers! This Tuesday isn’t going to blog itself…!!!

  3. Lily says:

    In my sugar news, I went through my email and sent little reminders of my existence to ten poofers from this past week’s search.

    Do any of y’all do that?

  4. Lily says:

    Good morning!!! Or to west coasters –get to bed! 😉

  5. cleo says:

    email me about the
    toronto sugar meet!

  6. cleo says:

    blog gods?

    my comments from FRIDAY with the toronto sugar meet email coded in them are still awaiting posting?

    okay let’s try this again

    toronto meet up

    i had planned to set a date today but just realised my deadline never posted. if you want to come to toronto meet (which is tentatively scheduled for may first) and have date requests please email me. i’m not going to post the address right now so this comment posts.

    on thursday i’ll make the date official and i do need venue suggestions to my email please. private room would be awesome but kitty’s excellent suggestion is no longer safe.

    so, if you are thinking of meeting us email me before thursday please.

    i know i owe a few replies but as you know i spent the day dating – lol

  7. cleo says:

    taz: i also liked what you said about unlearning everything you’ve been taught, i will have to sit with that a while. i’m actually glad lasb mentioned you saying it because i think i might not have really heard it otherwise.

    interestingly, my date this evening was actually great, but not the point of this paragraph. we got talking spirituality and that sort of thing and at one point i commented that i hadn’t explored a lot of the organized spirituality and he said that he found that very interesting since i’m so clearly spiritual. and he asked why i didn’t and what flashed through my conscious mind was “lazy” but he saw something else in my face.

    he told me i looked nervous

    so i clearly have a lesson headed for my seventh chakra and i only hope it doesn’t hurt too much.

    re the celestine prophecy – read it and loved it.
    re the tenth insight – asked the most transcendent human i knew (who loved tcp) if i should read it and he said it was a rehash and not to bother.
    midwest: got your email – swear i’ll get to it shortly :) but not tonight.

    i should say this… i’m still going on dates and meeting people but it’s sort of a going through the motions thing. i can tell you one thing though, there is a definite leap in the caffeine levels in my blood if someone interesting shows up and the motions instantly turn into the real thing.

    i just can’t… invest emotionally in the process anymore. what i don’t know is how many great dates it will take for that to change with a guy.

  8. Anne Lieve (Anne) says:

    goodness how to I block someone before they message me? My ex-SD is on this site, what a nightmare!

  9. lil'SB says:

    Oh yes, so it is OC, thanks for correcting me, silly me.

    Hi Taz!

  10. SSSD says:

    Yes, but rather than searching for myself, I prefer to search for others. 😉

    Meg, you probably missed where I asked you to “prove it.” (Your earlier statement to me.)

    All this talk about low calorie drinks… check this out: http://archinte.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/short/170/5/453?home

    Basically a study that has some evidence that women who drink are less likely to be obese in middle and late age. Your mileage may vary..!

  11. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Megs – yay! Very excited for you :) Hope you have a great date!!

    SSSD – I think we all feel the same – they offer a great technique lol! Personally I do that, or if I see a book convo (just an example :P) and I have no interest in books…that makes reading REALLY easy :) Just jump in when you are here – we will appreciate you just the same – promise! 😀

    Hi OC and l’il SB – did I miss anyone?

  12. SSSD – I feel the same way when I’m traveling. I just don’t even try to catch up on those days and flow the same “lazy river” lil’SB mentioned . Today would be one of those non-traveling days where my incessant chatter added to the many posts (including this one). Sorry. :( I’m surprised Flo hasn’t yelled at me today for this.

  13. lil'SB says:

    Take the shortcut like me SSSD, just alt+f your name, and if there’s none just read the last few posts and jump in whenever, join me on my lazy river, haha.

  14. Megs says:

    I understand SSSD – I’ve been off for 24 hours, and there is allllooootttttt to catch up on

  15. SSSD says:

    I can’t believe how many posts show up on this blog. It’s just too difficult to keep up for a busy SD… :(

  16. Megs says:

    Hey all! I’m finally back home! End of the season, so I won’t be traveling with my team again for a while.
    Quick update on LocalSD – I’m soooo excited! We had a lot of emails and chats that were so smooth – then he called me today, and we finally got to talk on the phone. You would have thought we were old friends. The conversation never went dull, and there wasn’t a single moment of awkward silence from either side. We are getting dinner on Wednesday, and I’m super excited about it. He is cute – has a great voice – an amazing personality – very very nice – lives close by – is married (funny how on here..that is an attribute) – and I haven’t had any bad feelings at all about him. From the first email, we got along. So – to re-iterate the last weeks posts….I’m really hoping he is “the one”. We will see on Wed!!

  17. GolfGirl says:

    Thanks Midwest and goodnight!

  18. Midwest says:

    Golf – Sorry, that last part was for you.

  19. Midwest says:

    Love those catch-up calls with bff!

    Taz- I read Celestine Prophecy and 10th Insight MANY years ago and loved them! Maybe I should pick them up again.

    SS – Thanks for the approach…I will take a different attitude with his book and see where it leads me.

    AL – Welcome! If he isn’t comfortable with an allowance/gifts, I guess it may be up to you to determine if it’s a dealbreaker. A happy medium could be if he has issues with actually giving you cash, does he mind paying your bills? Some people who don’t like the transactional exchange find themselves more comfortable just paying a bill directly. It all works out in the end.

    Off to get some sleep. Goodnight sugars!

  20. GolfGirl says:

    Thanks Shoogar Shoes!

    I think he is seeking a traditional relationship with someone half his age. Where, like you said, gifts and support come naturally later on. I hope I’m wrong, but we’ll find out soon enough!

  21. Anne Lieve says:

    I’m going to catch up on the blog so I can join the convo

  22. Ha ha, Taz…I’m feeling the same way with my “book reports” on the blog. In fact, it has been somewhat of a “Shoogar Show” on the blog today so my apologies to anyone who is thinking, “Oh, it’s HER again.” Just couldn’t help it with my recent hiatus while traveling. I needed my SA blog fix. Fully got it today. OBVIOUSLY. :)

    GolfGirl – I never really know what the men on Sugar sites are seeking when they say they are uncomfortable with gifts/allowance. Unless they are purely seeking just a NSA relationship? Or a traditional relationship maybe? In which case, I feel they would eventually be okay with gifts (and helping out financially), but only once the relationship has reached that point where those are normal courses of action…and NOT because they are outlined and expected. In either of the two cases, you will have to decide if what he wants is in alignment with what you are seeking in your life. The only way to really know is through further communication with him. My two cents.

  23. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Sorry to anyone I have just bored with my book reports!!!

  24. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Shoo – one I have just started is Fractal Time – interesting – I have heard some of his other books are better though (can’t remember the author right now and too lazy to get up to go across the room lol)

  25. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Shoo – don’t get me wrong – his book is one of my bedside books. However, as you said, it is not something you whiz through…or necessarily read once 😛 I have read pieces of it many times, still do here and there. Right now I have a new fascination with crystals so have been researching a lot on that topic..among many other metaphysics topics 😛

  26. GolfGirl says:

    Hi Shoogar!

    Yes, you should definitely TM it for future sugar products, lol!

    And I met him on another Sugar site, same idea, though.

  27. Anna – welcome!

    Taz – were we separated at birth? I love Celestine Prophecy. I do agree, Tolle is a hard one to follow, but I tend to lean towards challenges and it certainly is challenging to follow him. (With or without his monotone voice.) In writing, he delivers things in a way that sometimes you have to read several times to comprehend. But I need that at times in order to stay alert so his writing suits my learning behaviors.

    GolfGirl – thanks, I actually just came up with that one today as I was responding to Lily. Perhaps I should TM it? :)

    Regarding your 3rd/1st date, did you meet this man on SA? If not, how did you meet him?

  28. GolfGirl says:

    Shoogar Shoes! I love that quote, “Valet your heart…” It makes sense. =)

    I have a 3rd/1st date on Wednesday! I call it a 3rd/1st date, because it is with a man I met six months ago. Our first date went quite well. Ended with a small kiss. During our second date we discussed the type of relationship we were seeking and expectations.

    While it seemed we were on the same page, after our date he said he wasn’t comfortable with providing financial support/gifts. That was the end of that, until he messaged me this week. He’s in town and wants to discuss again. I agreed to meet. We did have a good time before, and I’m willing to give someone a chance to redeem themselves. But I would like to know how best to approach the discussion this time around. He is 49 and I am 25.

    Advice and opinions appreciated!

  29. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Welcome Anna – hope you decide to stick around :) The blog is your best sugar friend 😀

  30. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Midwest – Mr Tolle – meh – he ‘gets’ it…but doesn’t deliver it in the most appealing way. I would offer some book advice but my interests are way all over the place and just everywhere lol. Hmmmm….one of my all time favorites is Celestine Prophecy – I thought it was a great story, so an easier read than The Power of Now, but very similar messages. Never could get ‘into’ the sequel, Tenth Insight…hmmm..maybe I should try now 😛

    Ok one other suggestion and then I will be off the soapbox 😛 I thought it was a great read – very repetitive but very easy to understand and put in practice b/c of it IMHO (worked wonders for me when I first hit my biggest ‘roadblock’)…the set of three is 30 or 40 dollars, or you can buy them separately – Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz (Cleo thinking of you right here too babe!)..the other two in the set are The Mastery of Love, and The Voice of Knowledge. There is a couple other books (one new that I haven’t read) but can’t remember them right now…Amazon……lol…..

    Ok that is enough of the Zen book corner power hour 😛

  31. BostonSB says:

    Hi Anne! Welcome :)

  32. Anne Lieve says:

    Favorite Bond – Pierce Brosnan (melt)

    Hi All,

    I’m new to SA and so I’m checking out the blog because my account won’t work.

    Just wanted to say Hi as I start my Sugar journey

  33. Norma Jean / Midwest – I was going to say the Sheena Easton song or Carly Simon’s “Nobody Does it Better”. (???)

    Midwest – As far as Eckhart Tolle, I find the book better than the audio version (reducing the creep factor to his voice, perhaps?). Very important to understand it isn’t a book you read all the way through the first time. You read sections at a time – at your pace – and then pause until you get it. I don’t firmly believe in everything he teaches, but there are many lessons throughout the book to help with conscious awareness triggers and ridding ourselves of mental noise.

  34. BostonSB says:

    Hi Midwest! I haven’t been here in almost a month! How’s everything.. anything exciting in your sugar life?

  35. BostonSB says:

    anybody here?

  36. Midwest says:

    Norma Jean – right title, wrong lyrics. Starts out For your eyes only, can see me through the night…

  37. Midwest says:

    Evening sugars!

    Cleo – Enjoy your date tonight! Maybe even indulge a little :-) You have mail.

    Norma Jean- Welcome Marilyn! Is the song “For Your Eyes Only” by Sheena Easton? Starts out …you’re the seventh son, of the seventh son… look on iTunes.

    SS – I don’t do the RSS feeds of the blog, but my Curve doesn’t freeze up even on the longer blogs. I find it so distracting to read the blog from work though…once I get started all focus is lost. Also, I gave Eckhart Tolle a fair shot…bought The Power of Now and checked out a series on CD from the library. He loses me in the first 15 minutes of each. Yes, his voice is creepy…yes, his writing is dry. I’ve even tried skipping around. Are there cliff notes???

    NYC SB – PR sounds perfect. I can’t even imagine going to work after coming in on the red eye! I’m so in need of a vacation! I miss my family and friends that I typically get to visit this time of year. I am truly grateful to see the sun and the birds though.

  38. ESB says:

    OH, and no, I have no idea what song you are talking about.

    I’m off. Not feeling to great. Going to bed early tonight. Sugar dreams everyone!!

  39. ESB says:

    oops.. I meant NJ sorry!

  40. ESB says:

    NJK: Don’t ya hate it when a song gets in your head and you can’t find it? BTW… welcome! I don’t remember seeing you before.

  41. Norma Jean SoCal SB says:

    Does anyone know the name of the sexy, seductive song that I think was created for James Bond to seduce him? A women sings it and I think they keep saying lucky. Can’t find it on youtube. Very sultry, beautiful song….

  42. By the way, cleo…

    I was about to ask you if applying French cheese before a date might be your problem? ha ha ha.

  43. ESB says:

    cleo: WOW, Just WOW! I feel your pain sweety. I think I’m in that place where I’m not dating for a while. Just sick of the games… and now I get them here!! “I think you are so amazing, can’t wait to meet you” POOF! WTH?? Can we please be adults here? Dont want the childish games, the pretend what ever you are telling me…. Just be honest.

    Don’t give up sweat heart. We will both find out “perfect” SD. I just KNOW it!! :)

  44. cleo – in my opinion (remember, I am NOT a licensed therapist nor do I play one on T.V.), it seems you have and are walking the right path. In realizing your aloneness is NOT a deficiency, you have already enriched your life and have a connectedness with your own true self. At least this is the message I am getting through what you have written. (There is always a message behind the message.) You have gone through the process of discovery and expansion of your inner-self, you are obviously aware of it, to some degree – at least through written expression to US here on the blog and through physical, emotional expression to your clients and other people in your life. Perhaps you need to really believe it internally. Not sure what the next step is other than that. Once you TRULY believe internally, acceptance and love flows through you more freely and unobstructedly (if that is even a word?). Thus, creating an environment where the law of attraction will present opportunities to you before you even realize it. I hope that made sense. I am in the middle of writing something else so don'[t have time to proofread.

    Have fun on your date!

  45. cleo says:

    mascara too

  46. cleo says:

    taz: i really do respect what you’re saying. i have tried letting go, i have tried not caring and i have tried forgetting everything i know. i have tried being in a great mood and a real mood. i have let go of the letting go.

    i have found the positive [or a funny blog post] or the lesson in pretty well every single solitary experience i’ve had in the dating world and had my friends ask me constantly how i do it.

    i’ve had people tell me they keep me around because i can put a positive spin on anything.

    i have lived through my crucible and been tempered. i am not finished of course, no perfect thing ever is…. growth and evolution are inextricably entwined in our makeup.

    but why is it that i’m not allowed to quit dating? to actually accept that i ain’t got whatever it is? to stop believing?

    it’s okay that i gave up marriage and babies. you’re allowed to do that. you’re allowed to face the universe and say “i see that your plan for me encompasses something other than motherhood and i will find the joy in that if you let me. i will find ways to use my nurturing self to heal and help my clients and the young teachers that come to me. i will continue rescuing young people who need a sane adult in their lives but i see that for me to make my own biological babies is not in your plan – that’s okay, the world needs more crazy aunties”

    except of course, that when you say that someone yells at you for your negative attitude.
    shooger: okay so where do i go now?

    i have spent four years being celibate at one point while i was healing my body and soul after i shattered. i finally found out what a good and generous sexual partnership could be and since then i haven’t been treated with respect by many men.

    so i try to approach every one of the men i meet with this wide eyed enthusiasm i have for the world. i try to look at them as people and see the good and the not so good and the attractive and not. i get their vibe and their speech patterns and notice the tiniest things. today i was thrilled because he helped me on with my coat and flipped my hair out for me! oh! what a lovely moment to remember. so sweet and courtly and ahh i miss such gestures!

    i thought that after my celibate period and after giving up my knight in shining armour for my 25th birthday and after learning to be a good and generous lover and after accepting that maybe my life plan wasn’t anything like my life and after learning to focus on the positive and let most of the negative go and after becoming a light…

    i thought maybe i had it.

    but i don’t know how to do this beginner’s mind thing… i am the person who thinks of 14 alternatives. i am the being who asks the questions which allow others to find enlightenment… even when it comes to their own love lives.

    but i can’t find anything to learn from mine anymore except that maybe some people shouldn’t. i wish someone would go on a date with me and then just tell me “omg you’re so ******”

    i am sure there are more comments, but i have to go… i have a date

    *shakes head, laughs ruefully and goes to put on mascare*

  47. By the way, did anyone else cringe at the site of Zoe Saldana’s Givenchy dress on the Oscar’s red carpet? Yikes. Solid Gold meets 80’s Prom night!

    Ok, CLEARLY I am making up for missing four days on the blog.

    My name is Shoogar and I’m a SA Blog addict…

    First step is over.

  48. Lily – to elaborate on what I mean by “Valet your heart…”

    This isn’t meant in a cold kind of way at all. Of course, emotions will always be a part of the formula (as in genuine care for one another, making sure it is mutually beneficial, etc), but you are SEEKING an ARRANGEMENT, aren’t you? An arrangement generally means there is an expiration date that is expected on both parts. Whether it is stated through a written contract or just an amicable verbal agreement, there is ALWAYS an expiration date ahead with these types of pursuits. You need to discover a way to break out of your struggle of the endless romantic in yourself that hopes for more – this is the only way to empower yourself and establish a true, straightforward, adult arrangement. If, that IS in fact, what you are seeking. (Shoogar therapy ends here as I don’t want to place a damper on your Karaoke stage…)

  49. Lily says:

    Shoo, u so right.

    I so thin-skinned.


    Gotta thicken up.


    Going to Norway on Thursday.

  50. Lily – are you being forced to meet these married men looking for intensive affairs online through an obscure web site called Seeking Arrangement? Strange. Ha ha. Just giving you a hard time.

    Valet your heart and pick it up just the way it was when it’s time to go.

    Easy, breezy, Cover Girl.

  51. Flo – just saw you might be visiting the Spy Museum on Tues or Wed. You KNOW I am so jealous. Gail Harris is speaking there this month – would LOVE to be in that audience.

  52. Lily says:

    Shoo- I’m in iPhone heaven

    The guy who wants to meet me in Norway called during karaoke song… 80s ballad ” I wanna know what love is” and I let him listen.

    He says he’s equally nervous and unsure, but every fiber of his being wants me.

    Could I please stop getting caught up in romantic, intensive affairs with married men?!!!!!!

  53. James.M says:

    OC — Flo is right. You may not be there now, but when you begin seriously to think about the ring thing, you MUST have a pre-nup. When you sit down with the attorney, he’ll ask you questions you haven’t begun to think about (it’s his business to think about them, and he’s done it hundreds of times and you only once). I know it’s unromantic, but love is a malfunctioning of your brain chemistry, so a little grounding is good. Besides, in the sugar world, the guy has certainly thought about it, and if you bring it up, he’ll be that much more sure he’s right to want you.

  54. Hi Haley – if Spring Break plans don’t materialize for you, throw a shindig and bring the fun of Spring Break right to your door. Lots of inexpensive ways to do this. :)

  55. NYC SB – Too funny! I have been known to go into a bar with my own (small) jar of bleu cheese stuffed olives – if I know the bartender and also know they don’t carry them. (martini art dot com is the best place to order these made by the brand chocolate cafe’ – DEELICIOUS!) So we know we have drinks & shoes in common. Ask me to understand algorithmic trading and that’s where the friendship may dissolve a bit. Ha.

    Lily – How on EARTH do you LURK on this blog in a Karaoke bar?? You must have one super-charged smart phone! I can’t pull up this blog after 50 comments or my BB freezes. I can, however, click on “comment RSS” and read the last 10 comments, but can’t comment.

  56. NYC SB says:

    Shoogar! – NOOOOO WAAYYYYYY… if you read the blog from June of last year you will see that i indeed love them with blue cheese stuffed olives… asia de cuba used to make them like that … dirty birds… alas it is no longer on the menu

  57. Haley says:

    I don’t have any plans for spring break :( but I’m looking for something to do!

  58. Lily says:

    Drinking skinny girl bloody maries. Oh wait. No. Am a skinny, skinny girl drinking bloody maries!!

  59. Lily says:

    Hey guys!
    At a karaoke bar. Lurking.

  60. Oh, but I also noticed (from reading your blog) that we are both dirty martini drinkers too. If you tell me you order two bleu cheese stuffed olives on the side, I might think YOU were my stalker. Ha.

  61. NYC SB – Thank you!! Shoogar Shoes owes you a non-fat liquored up smoothie the next time I’m in the city methinks. I will ooh and aahh over your Louboutins and you can check out my new Giuseppe Zanottis! :)

  62. NYC SB says:

    Google to the rescue!

    Low Cal Mojito

    1/2 lime, cut into 6 wedges
    1 1/2 tablespoons lime juice
    2 tablespoons torn mint leaves
    1/2 teaspoon honey, warmed
    2 ounces rum
    4 ounces club soda
    Fresh mint sprig (optional)
    Lime wedge (optional)

  63. NYC SB says:

    I only know the skinny girl version of a margarita …

    4 limes
    splash of tripple sec
    splash of marg mix

  64. Did someone say “skinny girl version” of Mojitos? My ears were ringing. Spill the beans. I want a recipe. Now. Por favor?

  65. NYC SB says:

    Lisa – I think what OC meant was that your dedication and open mind and charming personality made it happen… as you know better than anyone else things just dont fall in your lap

    ESB – thank you… also I will buy you a $10 smoothie (with liquor) if you are ever in NYC … what an a hole

  66. Lisa on the good side of the freeway says:

    ESB when I met my married lover, I hadn’t been in a relationship in over 10 years so intimacy was priority and being that I lived with my family and worked nights and weekends, I had to be discreet and what is better for discretion and meeting during the day than someone married. It was a great 5 years but I got I watched him become more and more successful whereas he never even bought me a gift. My current sd is married but has more freedom as he is in one of those “stay married because of his age and the complications of divorce kinds of thing” He and his wife live on separate sides of their house and it seems she doesn’t know what is going on with his bank account.

    OC, I could have never did it alone, had to have help. bad credit and income falling about 1k short of qualifying to live here, I had to have help. I’ve got a prepaid lease and I will save my rent money each month towards the next 6 month lease as I can’t pay month to month because of my income. Anyway the rent is not much higher as the apartment is smaller but it’s perfect for me.
    My state of mind is completely different as i’m around a more positive environment. Not giving up even when I had an 8 month drought the year before last, has helped me to accomplish this

  67. ESB says:

    NYC SB: I’m proud of you for making it through the day! I’m so sure that was not easy.

    Lisa: I did the married lover thing, too, so that thought was in the back of my mind when I came here. At least this way I’ll be getting something out of it, where as the schmuck I was seeing got PO’d one day when I asked for $5 to buy a smoothie on my way back to work since he didn’t’ give me enough time to eat anything. He was married to a millionaire, and complained about $5?? Jerk

  68. NYC SB says:

    ps 47 minutes till i get to sneak out today … shhhhh dont tell my bosss

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Hi NYC SB a long nap will work wonders!

      Miss Lisa I knew it all along YOU would make it happen. Fate nothing, YOU made the change and it looks FABULOUS on you :) I am so proud of you…
      Off to a meeting, enjoy your day sugars!

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Welcome SD in LA, nice to see another sunny California face :)

  69. NYC SB says:

    Shoogar – I was drinking pinaple and vodka at night… and a passion fruit smoothie (with bananas and liquor… of course) during the day… trust me … I feel your pain regarding the calories… however… the drinks were super yummy

    OC – marriage proposal! wow… incredible 😀

    Flo – Hiiiiiiiiii … you are looking skinny today

  70. Lisa on the good side of the freeway says:

    ESB funny thing about this site, as I didn’t feel bad about it as it’s really no different than the relationships i’ve been in, no future, etc , except for in this type of thing, you don’t have to split the cost of the date and there are financial benefits that really help when you live on a limited income like I do. Hard work and long hours don’t guarantee financial success.

    What has totallly shocked me is the way my ultraconservative religous mother has taken it when I told her last week. She seems to have no problem with it and is happy. When I went to NY to meet another sd, she was happy that I went and she has not criticized me once for my current arrangement. Of course she doesn’t approve of the sexual part but she isn’t acting like she did when I had my married lover. I have since ended things with him as of last week. Told him i’d met someone serious as wanted to focus on that and he seemed happy for me. I didn’t want to tell him about what type of situation it is.

    If you had have told me 2 months ago that i’d get out of my crappy neighborhood, I would have never believed it was possible. What a difference fate makes

  71. ESB says:

    Lisa; a neighbor sitting out side reading a book while drinking coffee is the kind of problem we should all have!!

    Gotta make a few phone calls, but the house is looking like a done deal.. now to get a good job!! She is deciding if she wants to rent, let me just stay there until she is ready to sell, or put it on the market and let it sit empty. I’m kinda hoping she lets me stay there rent free, kinda house sitting, for a while, then start paying rent when I get back on my feet… Did I mention it has an inground pool? How sweet will that be this summer??

  72. Wonderland says:

    ESB: I don’t mean to sound like I disrespect the sanctity of marriage but I don’t make relationship status an issue. I feel like we all have needs and wants and reasons for things and I would hope whoever ends up with me can know that I am not judging them for being here and that I respect marriage and never plan on interferring. I am here to better my life and get the opportunity to see and do things while I am young enough to do them. If someone can offer me this and all they want in return is some of my time and attention (emotionally as a friend and as a sexual partner) of course.

  73. LASB – I was actually quoting (paraphrasing) Eckhart Tolle (I know you think he’s numb), who was quoting the Zen Master. Tolle does make some great points and offers some wonderful exercises through his teachings. Boring? A bit. Creepy sounding voice? Very. But his was the first book I picked up, which caused me to delve into living a much more peaceful life so I will always be somewhat connected with his words.

    Flo – Calories. Ugh. You had to remind me. Kidding. I was very well aware of what I was doing to my body during my 4 day mojito sugarfest. Paying for it now, trust me.

    OC – thanks for the email exchange between me and my new Zen sister.

    Hey, everyone else. Ok, back to work.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Wonderland too cloudy today to put on the GUCCI sunglasses
      and yes yes yes always wearing her Kick Ass Now and take names later Manolo’s…
      That’s me in a nutshell.

      Shoo I think Mojito’s should be voted in as one of the major food
      groups or at least count as Fruit consumed for the day! I am hooked on the
      skinny girl version of them :)

  74. ESB says:

    HI AA!! having a good Monday I hope!

  75. ESB says:

    Wonderland: When I first came to this sight, I kinda felt bad about it.. Could I really do this? I felt like I was stepping into some grey area, a little to close to escort/pro. After reading the blog, I don’t feel that way any more. I prefer a single SD, since I am dating anyway, so why not someone who can help me? The women here do have some good values, and the advice I’ve received has proven invaluable. I feel like I found a new family here!! I think everyone should come to the blog before launching a SB career.. get the skinny on the right way to go about it, even if that means figuring out what is right for YOU!

  76. Wonderland says:

    OC: You remind me of Carrie Bradshaw! I just picture you with designer sunglasses walking around with heels and so much confidence! I think you’re just living proof that good people attract good things!

  77. SDinLA says:

    Hello ladies, and occasional gentleman,

    (LASB, I figured “LASD” would be too confusing) Delurking just to say:

    Best Bond? Connery, no contest.

    Bond Girl? Bah. Charlie’s Angels?! Puh-leeze.

    Two words for you: Modesty Blaise

    English, like Bond. Created in the 60s and not by Aaron Spelling, she’s sort of a Mrs. Peel without having to kowtow to John Steed (the comic strip is better than the book which is better than the movie.)

    Strong, kick-ass, take-charge *hot* woman…. a leader, not a sidekick (and she even has a hunky, loyal male sidekick, Willie Garvin.)

    I would think she’d be the ideal role model for SBs… 😉

  78. Alluring Anna says:

    Just stopping by for a quick hi 😀

  79. Wonderland says:

    LASB, ESB: Yeah, I agree some guys do grow on you; have been in relationship (not SD one) where we were just friends he wasn’t the greatest looking guy but he was so nice to me and we naturally just dated for a while. I might message one or two guys and invite them to lunch and see if maybe they will grow on me. I mean I don’t want to hop in the sack on the first date anyways so……….. who knows? I had a pot, but he hasn’t written me back but given we are on opposite sides of the world what can i say? I might glance over the profiles again tonight and write one/two guys (not to be redundant) and see what happens. Naturally will update. Thanks everyone on the blog for being so nice! I think this blog is so great because I can’t talk about sugar life to anyone and being able to ask for advice from people (good people with values none the less) is great! xx

  80. Lisa on the good side of the freeway says:

    Good afternoon

    Just got my curtains hung in the living room. It’s nice that I could still see the faint holes where curtains had been hung, made it easier to get the rod straight.
    Having problems with neighbor, lol She has been sitting out in her lawn chair for hours drinking coffee and reading a book. Quite different than the old crowd at the other place. Have to walk down later at meet my daughter when she gets off work. She works at the hospital across the street.

  81. LASB says:

    Wonderland, ESB – I think attraction is really important. I can’t fake being turned on. But I also agree with ESB, that some guys sort of grow on you as you get to know them because they are intelligent and with charismatic personalities. In any case, I think it’s a personal decision on whether you believe the sugar is there to bridge the gap between physical attraction. For myself, sugar cannot make up for the lack of attraction I’ve felt on some of my pot dates.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Happy Monday Sugars!
      Taz and Shoo you are email’d up and ready to rock!
      Flo pre-nup? I want for nothing. My cup runneth over daily! Plus, I am not ready to take that step. I think his bump on the head may be messing with his logic of wanting to rush the forever thing. He is my forever, and I have made sure he knows that daily. Gosh how I have matured and grown. Kind of scary! It is hard to remember the shaken in my sugar shoes earlier days. Kidding, she is still around!

  82. ESB says:

    Good afternoon sugar family!!

    NYC SB: Coffee IV Drip is attached LOL… Been there! Welcome home!!

    Cleo: My last great date was last Aug. since then, they just weren’t worth writing about. Treating me bad, sex was awful, but then, Aug was incredible!! I may NEVER find that again, and it breaks my heart. To bad he lives so far away, or we would still be together. Sigh.. oh well.. don’t give up babe. The right one is out there for you! Just believe it. I have gone through my (more than!) of poofers and scammers. I am here!! Mostly because I have seen and heard some awesome stories of some really fun and great SDs. I know that someday SOON I will find the right one for me… and if it runs its course, there will be another one to fill that void soon to follow.

    Wonderland: Excellent questions. I too am looking for the perfect fit. Mostly because I am not mechanical, and cannot see myself being intimate with someone I’m not attracted to. For me, that is physical. I dated a guy with NO brains once, so there has to be some mental stimulation as well. Just keep plugging away, darling. It will happen. But if you feel the need to lower your standards, I don’t think you will be to disappointed. A friend I once knew was NOT the best looking guy ever, but the more I got to know him, the better looking he became.

    OK my pot date for this afternoon was rescheduled for Wed. lunch. I’m going to stay positive… he said he is swamped at the office, so this date I am going closer to his half, not so much my half to meet. Crap. He suggested tomorrow, but I have to be in the office all day.. I can NOT wait to quit my job… still looking for one to replace it though, so I can’t yet. Got my networking skills on it though!! Pipeline is filling up fast! Woot!!

  83. NC Gent says:

    Welcome back to the blog and reality FL-SD.

  84. FL-SD says:

    Good afternoon all. Had a great sugar weekend and now back to work….

  85. Flo Rida says:

    SD in ATX – Lazenby was consistent with the book(s) but the crew hated him – he broke a stunt double’s ribs & didn’t pull his punches or kicks.

    OC – congrats on proposal, that’s fantastic BUT pre-nup? Just being honest that most marriages end in divorce.

    Shoogar – oooh love good mojito’s – but too many calories as i’m losing weight.

    NYSB – glad you enjoyed PR, I might go to Cuba in 2010 – again.

    i’ve been doing a lot of meditation and chanting & realize some of my problems & also have decided on positive steps. Although I can be a bitch i’m generally conciliatory & the assertive girl has to come out in a few situations.

    James.m – excellent soapbox speach

    Lily – repeat after me – SDs are not like shoes – you only need 1 or at most 2. kidding

    Lisa – you can go jogging around Memorial in early morning or late afternoon.

    NYGent – i’ll visit DC spy museum Tuesday or Wednesday

    ciao all!

  86. LASB says:

    Taz – I liked what you said about unlearning everything you’ve been taught. My desire to be deprogrammed is actually what inspired me to go down the clairvoyant path. In order to be an effective clairvoyant, one must be neutral. It makes sense if you think about it. How can you see clearly if you come to the table with a bias?

    By the time I reached 30, I had been programmed pretty heavily. Think of all our influences as we develop–family, education, friends, employers, and even society in general. We grow up with so many beliefs and take them on, but many are not ours. I wanted to erase all that and start over so that I could really just hear my own truth. My awareness is so much greater than when I started, and it all started with trying to find my beginner’s mind.

  87. LASB says:

    SS – So I see your avatar and blog are back. Looks like you got things cleared up. :)

  88. LASB says:

    SS – Oh funny. I thought you were quoting/paraphrasing his book. Check it out on Amazon.

  89. LASB – I don’t have that one, believe it or not. I will definitely have to check it out for sure. Thank you!

  90. Lily – I’m not so sure if traveling abroad to meet an anonymous pot is such a great idea. I can completely see his concerns since he is married. He may not want to give out his information for fear you may not show up and now have personal information that could get back to his wife. At the same time, I think there needs to be a little more trust built in before meeting abroad for the first time. Do you have his first name at least?

    I read what you paraphrased he wrote to you. Very nice, indeed. However, your safety is a huge factor in this and he needs to be fully aware of your concerns in this regard. It seems you have a nice, consistent flow of communication with him and he has reassured you he won’t poof, but this doesn’t mean it is totally safe to meet without having a bit more background information. I can tell you I’m Lucy Liu and will prove so with a passport once we meet in a crowded hotel lobby, but that wouldn’t be the case whether you believed me or not. Get the information YOU need in order to feel completely safe. Do you have a friend in Norway? My last experience, I was comfortable with flying out because I had family in the same city. Thank goodness for that too with how things turned out for me.

  91. LASB says:

    SS – Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind is an awesome book! An art school mentor turned me onto it, but it’s been a while since I read it. Thanks for the reminder!

  92. Lily says:

    Shoo, thanks. I’ll try to be patient. But a week in between emails? and before that one month silence? It’s offensive, honestly. In the first six weeks of communication he got back to me within hours, not days. Why can’t he be more in touch now? And I have NOT been stalking him but if I search ‘most recent log-ins’ he comes up sometimes and I don’t click on him but I can see him in the search results so that’s how I know he is active on SA. My heart got tangled up and burned and now I’m just so unsure what to think of his resurfacing.

    potSD that wrote the really sweet email reassuring he won’t poof that I paraphrased and posted here earlier, has asked to meet in Norway on thursday for dinner. I asked him to provide his identity and prove it and he wants to wait and do that face to face in the crowded hotel lobby, passport and all. What’s the right way to handle this froim a safety point of view?

    His emails and phone conversations with me have been amazing and I think we could be two halves of a dynamite arrangement, but he’s married and maybe I’d like him too much given the ceiling there…. and now I’m stressed about traveling abroad for an anonymous pot.

  93. AdrianeSB says:

    Lily, yayyy, the e-mail is a start and Shoogar has a point, it might be the easiest way for him to keep in touch.

    And oops, I should speak and understand swedish, but I suck. I promise we’ll do IRL hunting on one of these days :)

  94. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    NCGent – well keep us Canadians posted! Even if the timing is not right for the meet, perhaps we can have an impromptu get together or something :)

  95. Lily – I KNOW your usual, hyper, bubbly-self has a trace of patience inside. If the guy with the red coat is emailing, that’s a good sign in itself. No? Email may be his most convenient mode of engaging conversation with you right now while he is flitting about the world on business travel.

  96. NC Gent says:

    Taz – Unfortunately, it will be very difficult for me to commit to a Toronto meet at this point. I do have some business prospects in the area, so hopefully it may pan out, but I doubt the timing.

    Wonderland — the first sugar experience always sets the standards. It is a mixed blessing to have a really good one the first time because I believe (speaking from experience) that it may set expectations too high. Also, a little of the magic is gone with each ensuing sugar relationship. Hang in there — it can take months to find the right one.

  97. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Wonderland – I hope you are able to post that very soon!!! Everyone’s needs are individual…and I am sure you will find what you desire :)

    Shoo – ok lady – you are officially my zen sister :)

  98. Oh and Taz, you are SO right. EVERY single situation in life can end positively. It’s all about choice. I’m a firm believer in the law of attraction too.

  99. Wonderland says:

    Taz: Thanks girl!!!!!!!! I feel blessed to have had such a great experience that happened so fast the first time around that it’s hard to not have some high expectations so just trying to learn from more experienced people about how to compromise high expectations with realistic expectations. I just can’t wait to type the sentence I FOUND HIM! On the blog! xx

  100. Lily says:

    And AdrianeSB, I still want to go out hunting sugar IRL together. I know just the right spots…… only problem is that I don’t speak swedish.

    I just finished a spinning class. I haven’t worked out in nearly 2 years. But I rocked that class. I guess my hyper, energetic, bubbly self just hasn’t atrophied because I haven’t been spec ifically at the gym. I’m not a couch potato, after all.

    I suddenly remembered how much I missed those feelings of potential falling-in-love budding, with the guy with the red coat. And I burst into tears of frustration and exhaustion at his second round of poofing.

    Am I just fooling myself with the escaping of loneliness into sugar relationships with married men who are great friends? probably. Is what I really want a rich boyfriend? probably. And he has my red coat.

    Just as I was tearing up, an email came from him, asking to solidify dates to spend together in April, when he’ll be back from Asia.

    I wrote back immediately asking if he had my number. Just call me, dammit!

  101. LadyGodiva – welcome to our online sugar family and thank you for checking out my little corner of the sugar world with my blog, Sugar & the City. I am a bit behind on posting due to another important focus I had all last week. I am hoping to have my interview 3 with SD, “Joseph” up pretty soon. He has been traveling abroad and hasn’t been able to read and approve yet. We agreed he would read everything I wrote regarding the interview and give me a seal of approval before posting.

    NYC SB – welcome home! Glad you had a blast and I hope you have those toothpicks handy to prop your lovely eyelids open in your workday today. Geesh, red-eye straight to work is a tough one.

    Taz – I like the idea of the Toronto/Zen meet!

  102. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    NCGent – no Toronto meet for you huh? Booo!

    Wonderland – best advice – be patient, know what you want and what you are willing to give :)

  103. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Lol – yes of course. To each his own perspective – not here trying to judge anyone – just trying to help – I have been there banging my head against the wall too. However, it is not exactly blog topic – so Cleo you have my email if you want to talk further :) Or, if anyone else does get my addy from OC :)

  104. NC Gent says:

    I think we were agreeing with each other TT :) just from different vantage points!

  105. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Just using an abusive relationship as an extreme – no offense to anyone at all – but even something like that can end positively if you desire it to…IMHO

  106. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    NCGent – I was just trying to convey to attract what you want and learn lessons presented before us…we often hit the same roadblock and get frustrated when it is just that we are not learning the lesson – and that is seeing the good in it. For example – someone who was in an abusive relationship could be a victim ~OR~ learn to stand up for themselves and not repeat the same tendencies…then taking the ‘positive’ from the situation..not necessarily that the other person was positive or deserves another minute of your time..

  107. Wonderland says:

    Shoogar Shoes! Sure is there a private way for me to give my address to you besides posting here?

    And everyone who commented: Thanks for the feedback. I was just curious about this experience as lately I have been getting great messages but something just seemed to be missing. And I’m not going to say that I’m the bees knees and that every bloke who messsages me thinks I’m bloody gorgeous but I’d like a meeting point. My first and only SD and I were a great match because he had a mega watt smile and I really was attracted to him and we never let get it beyond the arrangement point. I think in hindsight you have to watch out because catch 22: you find a guy you are REALLY attracted to who isn’t after romance and you end up in that dangerzone.

  108. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Maybe Zen meet and THEN Sugar meet? Lol..

  109. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    NCGent – absolutely agreed – you also need clear boundaries…and I was not saying see the positive necessarily in the person as to stay with them when you are not happy or fulfilled. But from a more objective pov. as to not repeat the same pattern but use the lesson to learn from, in hindsite.

    Cleo – Shoo is right – relearn everything you were ever taught and you will find your answers. Drop the conditioning that was given to at birth, and what you have conditioned your own mind to believe throughout your experiences and relationships to be true thus far in life. It was true at ONE time, not now – unless of course you want it to be true now.

    As for the Toronto meet – I think we should make it a weekend affair. One day sugar meet, next day zen meet :)

  110. LadyGodiva says:

    Thanks NC Gent! Just registered. Appreciate it <3

  111. NC Gent says:

    Hugs Shoogar — yeah things have slowed down a bit at work. I love Zen — great minds think a like :) I am looking forward to the next NYC event that you are allegedly planning!

  112. *waving to NC Gent!!* Happy to see you posting again! :)

  113. Taz – I don’t think I have your email address do I? Going back up to what you said last night, I would love to hear your personal views on “the one”. Especially since you and I both seem to be on the same path towards enlightenment, “letting go” and living in the present moment.

    cleo – Without even knowing your full history, I can tell you something very simply that helps with moving forward. This comes from the Zen teacher, Shunryu Suzuki Roshi: You have to delve into your pursuit with a “beginner’s mind” and this means putting aside opinions, beliefs, and preconceptions based on past experiences. In the beginner’s mind, there are many possibilities, in the expert’s, there are few. When we try to be experts at relationships (sugar and otherwise), we narrow our range of possibilities and play out old, predictable routines. Beginner’s mind, by contrast, helps us open our awareness to whatever new problems we face and sparks new discoveries within our selves. By taking a fresh look at what is happening (whether the pot poofs or no second date), we draw on the power of our creative intelligence, which alone can reveal new directions. Make sense? *stepping off my Zen soapbox now* I know you probably didn’t need all of that as I can see what a deep thinker you are and your inner intelligence often shines through on your posts, but sometimes it’s nice to be reminded by another voice. Font, I should say?

    Wonderland – I have my theory on the situation you proposed, but again, it would take pages. I would be happy to email you my thoughts off-blog if you are willing to provide your email address.

  114. AdrianeSB says:

    NC Gent, thank you, I’m from the same part of Europe as Lily 😉

  115. NC Gent says:

    Hi Adrianne – welcome to the blog — what part of Europe if you don’t mind me asking?

  116. AdrianeSB says:

    Wonderland, I wouldn’t be able to fake attraction, but I’ve learned that I can be sexually attracted to a man not exactly my type. It’s my age probably :) It’s the whole package, his sense of humour, how he treats me, do we have anything in common. I would wait for someone who gets those sparks flying, but don’t rule out “physically not perfect” guys just because they’re not your type. I’ve been surprised a few times…

    I’m in Europe! :)

  117. NC Gent says:

    Hi Taz — I found your last post to be very interesting. I suffered from the opposite problem in that I always looked at the positive part and blocked the bad parts which led me to going back to old relationships that had run their course. I guess both sides have their bad points, and of course, as always, balance is the key.

    Wonderland — I really enjoyed Jame’s post. There was a lot of truth to it. I am more inclined to say wait until the right one comes along. If you aren’t attracted to the person, it will be difficult to make it work and it will become a chore. My arrangements have always been like dating with benefits. I think some SDs feel that they can date out of their league because they are providing significant financial support. Some are ok with this, and it depends upon your personal preferences. Having said that, I know that as I have matured, I look to strike a balance between mutual interests, personality and looks. When I was younger, it was all about the physical attractiveness of my partner. I suspect that SDs go through this maturation process, but maybe it is just me. I would be interested to see if others have similar personal experiences on that. At the end of the day, you have to do what is best for you :)

  118. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Cleo – one day when I am in Toronto we will compare notes. However it does not matter – there is no right or wrong, better or worse. It is what we take from each experience. It is hard but find the positive in each experience. You have to – or you just punish yourself over and over again. I do not have a great track record with regards to the men I have attracted – in the past. And it has taken me YEARS to find the positive in those relationships and make peace with it. However, finding the positive in turn changed my mind set and that did make a huge difference NOW. I am still not in an arrangement – funny now that I have offers from SD’s I had on msn still, I am not interested 😛 Once you let go, it all flows…

    Ok off my soapbox.

  119. Wonderland says:

    Hi Good Morning US Sugars, and good afternoon European Sugars (if any are on here) I have been emailing a potential offline and things seem slowly/surely progressing. We haven’t chatted on the phone yet but hopefully will soon! I was thinking about James M’s advice but here is my problem: I have corresponded with men who are lovely polite charming but that physical spark just isn’t there. Believe me I’m not looking for Brad Pitt, but I know what I like in a man and what I don’t. Is part of sugar dating overlooking what your attracted to? I remember in the 20/20 interview that the journalist pointed out that most young girls don’t go for the type specified in the cartoon and the response was “On Seeking Arrangement they do.” My question is: Am I supposed to alter what I want as far as a physical attraction because of the circumstances or do I just wait till who I’m looking for comes along? Thoughts comments? I mean I would think a guy on here is going to find a girl he would find in the “real world’ just as attractive do I get the same priveledge?

  120. cleo says:

    oh and i’ve asked a couple of the saner ones why no call for another date and no one will tell me. none of my guy friends have any ideas and the women i know tell me to ‘be more helpless’ or ‘be less available’

    i hear what you are saying about the energetic output but eventually you just… *shrug*

  121. cleo says:

    taz i hear you and concur. that said, we are talking years on end here of bad treatment, after a while you start to forget the good ones.

    like i can’t write smut anymore because all i can remember now is the bad lovers. i know what a good one feels like to recognize but to remember?

    not with any real sense memory anymore.

    same with men who treat me well.

    my friends watch in awe and can’t believe i still have the nerve to go on dates…

  122. NC Gent says:

    Hi LadyGodiva — you have to register a gravatar at gravatar dot com and link it with an email address. Put that email address in the blog sign-in and it should show up, but you may have to reload.

    NYC SB — glad you had a great trip!

  123. cleo says:

    lily: well i am doing different things to allow myself to be seen more by men and hopefully hit on. but i am not sure i can bear to get my hopes up. i have two dates today (don’t even ask how i managed that scheduling miracle) and the most i can muster is mild curiosity.

    glad to hear BHSD is getting the hint about his sense of humour. i think you are just sweet but firm “i’m sorry i’ve committed to … how about next …”
    shooger: oh my i am dying to get my ass kicked by a hot asian woman with ten foot long legs! we should leg wrestle!

    (oh god so many funny mental images just now)

  124. Lisa on the good side of the freeway says:

    Heading over to my parent’s apartment to take them over to the mall.
    Have a good day everyone. Gloomy rainy day here :(

  125. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Cleo – sweetie – what you resist, will persist. Let it go babe. I understand how hard it can be, but you aren’t attracting what you want at all…just hurting your mojo bella!! :(

  126. Lily says:

    Yep, I’m in the easternmost time zone on this blog, so I’m always first. And always miss out on the evening fun.

    The bengals are darling. I love them so much.

    Off to a spinning class with my good guy friend. BaldHottie was just here for a couple of hours with my weekly groceries in hand, read all the bills I hadn’t opened and pocketed them to take with him to take care of them so I wouldn’t have to bother, and was so sweet. He actually didn’t make one lame joke the entire time. And he’s still hot. So today was a GREAT sugar day.

    However, he did hint that he’d like to see each other again tomorrow and the next day and I hate having to keep reminding him that once per week is really the perfect amount of time to hang out, more than that and it just isnt’ as sweet for me. That’s ok, he isn’t pushing….

  127. LadyGodiva says:

    By the way, how do you girls upload those cute avatars next to your blogging comments out of curiosity. Have a great week sugars!!! <3

  128. LadyGodiva says:

    Shoogar I totally concur. I read your Sugarblog and geez….wish I did about 3 days ago. As amazing as it is to believe I think I was the victim of a photo collector/faux SD and unfortunately missed out on another great guy as a result. Ah well! I’m really glad I started blogging. This exchange of information has proven itself valuable<3

  129. Lisa on the good side of the freeway says:

    Good morning everyone

    Very rainy day here. Going to walk over to the mall later for a latte.

  130. NYC SB says:

    Morning sugar fam… just returned from a lovely 4 day get a way in Puerto Rico… I had a red eye flight and am currently at work… shoot me now! Coffee IV Drip is attached…

  131. Oh, and to answer the blog question quickly of my favorite Bond…

    That’s a tough one. Although I do love Pierce Brosnan, I think Sean Connery just oozed with charisma as well as the emotional hot and cold that epitomizes the ideal of a Secret Agent. My views may be slightly skewed though with my spy training and all…

    Later, sugars.

  132. Morning, Lils! I think it has become a trend for you to be the first one posting on the blog every morning these days. Congrats on your bengal kitties, by the way. How exciting for you!

    Cleo – You know there’s a long line of us here rooting for you…and who will kick your pilates arse should you dare ever give up. Just think of how much sweeter it will be when the right one comes along. Until then, you have your amazing and fabulous male friends to enjoy!

    Off to run some Monday morning errands now, just wanted to stop in and say Gooooood morning! (Apologies to TLG for beating him to his normal blog greeting.)

    I will be back on later, I’m sure of it.

  133. Lily says:

    Cleo!! You can’t give up yet!! You are ripe for the pickin’ baby!

  134. LASB says:

    Anyone still awake? I’m finally finished with work! Yay! Glad I had the blog and Oscars keeping me company. :)

  135. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Wow so nice to see I am not the only person with a phone phobia – although I don’t call it a phobia per se – just don’t like it lol!

    Shoo – if you want to email me off the blog I could give you my opinion on ‘the one’ – just don’t want to annoy anyone here with my opinions 😛

  136. cleo says:

    lasb i used to answer the phone for a living and that will beat the nice right out of you… not to mention making you cringe whenever the phone rings!
    midwest: truth? i give up.

  137. cleo says:

    lasb/shooger shoes i get annoyed when people email me their cell and are all ‘call me’ and i email them a nice email and they email back ‘call me’ and i email them again


    i just like it better. email –> meet. perfect

  138. LASB says:

    SSSD – Agreed. Personally I think that Charlie’s Angels are sexier.

  139. LASB says:

    SSSD – I actually hate the phone too. A friend once told me I had “phone phobia,” but if it ends the pattern of endless emailing, I’m all for it. Honestly, I’d have no problem going from email to meeting in person so long as it’s a local date. When BGpotSD calls, our conversations are about 5 minutes, which is more than enough time to say what we need.

  140. SSSD says:

    And to answer the topic of my favorite Bond girl: none.

    They may be pretty, or clever, or strong, or seductive, or distressed, but none of them has been as iconic as the leading man.

  141. SSSD says:

    Meg: ok, prove it!

    Shoogar: Thanks for the offer. I’ll take you up on it. The East coast bloggers are sure to benefit. And it’s more likely some SD will show up and I’ll avoid the abuse.

    Vegas SBs: Yes, a year has gone by. I’m glad to see some of you still correspond.

    LASB (and others): I’m one of those antisocial email people. Seriously dislike the phone, seriously love email.

  142. I’m off to bed now. Four fun-filled days of Karaoke and umbrella adorned drinks (not to mention, good food and wine) equates to me being totally wiped out.

    Liver abuse is still not illegal (or so I hear), but you know…

    Good night, all.

  143. LASB – Totally understand. It’s a tough call really. I mean, look at my last experience. He and I emailed and talked on the phone BOTH – quite a bit too. But the true colors didn’t surface until I flew to his hometown and wow, was that a mix of wrong choices or what?! I guess we are all taking risks to some degree no matter how we approach things. Ah, why can’t we just know it all, right? I don’t know about you, but I haven’t Windexed my crystal ball in days so what do I know? Ha.

    Oh, cute about Laundry pot and his emails of devotion to you. :)

  144. LASB says:

    Oh weird. Who was talking about the Jamaica guy? He was one to avoid, no?

  145. LASB says:

    SS – I agree, but it depends on the nature of the exchange. Several emails is fine. 20 or more is reaching a threshold for me, though. This guy has written me pages and pages! Email takes up way more time than a phone call. I always offer to call at a time that is convenient to them. I’m definitely not a technophobe or internet-antisocial. In fact, I used to operate a social network back in the days before twitter and facebook. I guess it’s just a personal preference that I don’t want to sit at my computer all day emailing them (I’m too busy typing on the blog! HA!) when it’s so much easier to meet and see if we actually have any *real* chemistry. And actually, Laundry pot doesn’t live in my town, so he sends me little emails of devotion, and I don’t mind that at all. :)

  146. Ladies – (Lisa & LASB) – I personally don’t think you can “write off” a pot SD as being “not serious” if there are several email exchanges before you speak or meet. Some people (myself included) view email as the most convenient way to get to know someone. Especially if traveling is involved (on their part or yours), email has replaced the inconvenience of trying to find a time to call, the phone tag game and just makes it a bit easier to communicate when time allows. I know some people view it as being impersonal, but I’m one of those technological girls living in a technological world. I guess it’s all case by case though.

    By the way, I DO love a nice restaurant…but agree that taco trucks (and “street meat”) can be a nice gorge-fest of deliciousness too!

  147. Lisa on the good side of the freeway says:

    I’m now in walking distance to some really good restaurants and of course i’m across the street from the mall which means I’m still near mcd’s and the other fast food restaurants. I do have to confess though that I have actually bought tacos from those taco stands and they were very good, lol

  148. LASB says:

    Lisa – Oh funny. Actually, there are a few higher end than you’d think restaurants that are picking up on the taco truck trend. I can never seem find them, but I’d love if a few of those would park outside my building. Probably the homeowner’s association would complain, but I’d love to have that convenience. Luckily I’m in walking distance of a few nice places, including those acknowledged by Michelin.

  149. Lisa on the good side of the freeway says:


    had to laugh about the nicest restaurant and in your neighhood. In my old neighborhood a nice restaurant would be any one that wasn’t on wheels, lo aka taco stands roach motel on wheels.

  150. LASB says:

    Lisa – I agree with you totally. The serious SDs don’t have to exchange tons of abstract emails. They just meet you and see if there’s a nice connection. BGpotSD set up our first date right away with very little exchange and it was at the nicest restaurant and in MY neighborhood. Awesome about your current SD! Sounds like things are going very well for you. :)

  151. Lisa on the good side of the freeway says:

    In my personal experience, i’ve never had any success from long emailing for weeks and weeks. Those ones always poof. Every local sd that I have had success with went from initial email to actual meeting in a week or less. My current sd contacted me on jan 26, we met on Feb 1, started arrangement on Feb 2, and a month later I moved into an apartment prepaid lease.

    At the same time one must exchange several emails before meeting to find out what each party is seeking. Not useless emails about abstract subjects, but emails discussing expectations. I have scared off dozens of potentials by bringing up the subject of allowance after a few emails, those poofed whereas the legit sds I have been contacted by made the first move as far as allowance and we knew what each other expected before we even met.

    Have a good night everyone. Going to sleep late tomorrow

  152. LASB says:

    ATX – “If you’re not fun in person, then what is the point?”

    Actually, I am so with you on that!! That’s what I told the guy. I’m here for both cheap and not so cheap thrills. I’m a social and very experimental creature. I love to go out and experience the world. I want something sexy and stimulating with someone whose clothes I can’t wait to rip off. It can be deep and serious, but it sure as hell better be damn fun.

  153. TexasSugah said, “I dunno.. I’m going to bring it up again to see if I get the same story and then question more intently. WOW this is becoming a job.”

    Nah, don’t look at it that way, TS. It’s just communication or due diligence, if you will – I know that sounds so business-like, BUT, I surmise you would want to do the same thing if you were looking for a traditional relationship. :)

    Hang in there!

  154. LASB says:

    ATX – Yes, so maybe that’s what he was doing, but then he never asked if I actually wanted to meet. Are we as SBs supposed to be doing that? I’ve learned to let the pot SDs decide if they want to meet me, because whenever I’ve said, “who has time for 10000 emails, let’s meet instead.” they poof. My favorite is when the SD leaves his phone number after 2 or so emails with a note that says “let’s talk on the phone and see if we may want to meet.” I mean, doesn’t that seem like a safe way to be really efficient?

  155. LASB says:

    Midwest – You can’t go to sleep yet. They haven’t announced Best Director or Movie. I agree that everyone is different, so I try not to judge the next based on the previous. And actually, some the the so-called “bad apples” have been great sources of entertainment. (eg. Namaste. HA!)

    SS – The pot I was speaking of above is actually not a bad guy. I’m just not at all turned on by him and when I thought about it, I figured out that he showed no interest in me whatsoever. Also, I guess the things he was bragging about didn’t seem like they were all that to be bragging about–like being a scorpio. Who cares? Honestly, I’m really not as jaded as this sounds. I’m just suffering from a bout of over-analysis syndrome.. I do see what you are saying, and sometimes I catch myself in self-absorbed moments too. But then I don’t wonder why no one but me is interested.

    And if you judgmental types are wondering why I’m still “on the market,” when I’m so infatuated with BGpotSD, it’s that there’s so much uncertainty with us.

  156. SDinATX says:

    LASB, the pot might just be trying to present himself to see if you’re interested in meeting. Personally, you SBs can write what ever you want to me about yourself, but no matter how much I may like what I read it all comes down to if I like you in person. If you’re not fun in person, then what is the point? So perhaps like me he says “this is me, if you like, lets meet.”

  157. Midwest says:

    I’m off to get a decent night’s sleep.

    Ladies – Don’t let the bad apples ruin it for the SD that can come along and show you what a true arrangement is all about! What’s the Secret? Think positively that it WILL happen to you and be confident in the face of adversity.

    Sweet dreams!

  158. TexasSugah says:

    SDinATx- 36DDD.. First order of sugar business when I get an SD is to deflate them..Everest and K2. Lol

    NEohio – here here. And to that end, the harmony you described, is what keeps me waiting. Albeit not so patiently.

  159. Midwest – interesting you bring up Jacki O. During my extensive research on arrangements, I delved into an entire day reading about famous arrangements and Jacki O’s story was one of them. Quite interesting.

  160. Midwest – thank you for answering my question. (You too, LASB) At this point in my life, I am not sure I have a definitive opinion on the topic actually, so I’m always curious to hear other points of views/beliefs. It would take pages for me to explain my current thoughts. Thanks for sharing though, ladies.

    LASB – playing devil’s advocate, (as most of you here know I tend to do), I would like to think the pot emailing you about himself is just opening up and allowing you to discover more about him through his writing. In turn, he may want you to then open up and share more about you. Then again, I am saying this without knowing the content or tone of his letters to you at all. I know you’re one smart cookie…but just trying to offer another view. Put a stick in the sand and we are all going to describe it differently from where we are sitting. You know?

  161. Midwest says:

    NEOhioSB – Hi! I’m so very happy for you! If you read Cleo’s posts at the beginning of the blog, she is putting together a Toronto Meet around May. She has an e-mail address for the meet posted as well. I would love to see you there!

  162. Midwest says:

    LadyGodiva – That’s the spirit! Some will, some won’t, so what.

    Shoogar – Another perspective I find interesting is Jackie O’s approach to marraige: “The first time you marry for love, the second for money, and the third for companionship…”

    ATX -Hi

  163. LASB says:

    So yeah, if only he had been interested in the size of my knockers, (they aren’t very big) at least that would have been a start. Guys, I guess you can’t win. HAHAHAHAHA. Really though, we want to know that you desire us, and that we’re not just put on the planet to feed your (sometimes overblown) egos.

  164. LASB says:

    So I’ve been emailing with a pot, and the emails have all been about him, and what he’s like, and how great he is, etc. He’s never asked me about myself, nor has he even tried to make arrangements to meet me. Then he says something like “The decision is in your hands,” and I’m thinking, what decision? Oh, the one to be your sounding board and/or loyal puppy dog. I had to break it to him gently. “You don’t make me want to rip your clothes off. Sorry.”

  165. NEOhio SB says:

    ESB ~~~ Love your comment about “that team up north”. Many of us truly get it…others are clueless. I have plenty to share on that aspect

    Lady Godiva ~~ I had swam competitively all my life and the older i get, the more i love my 2 hour daily swim workouts…No sprained ankles from running, just my time in the pool to tone, brainstorm and have a great workout without the typical pick ups at gyms.

    Midwest ~~ Nice to see you…and i am in total agreement with you that there is “the one”….even in sugarland…and i believe i have found mine too…and love the relationship/arrangement that i have.

    Texas Sugah~~ I am sorry to hear the men on this site tend to be solely interested in the size of your knockers. Fortunately, the ones I have connected with and my current SD from this site were truthfully interested in the intellectual aspect, the communication, the connection not solely the physical part..but when those all connect, the intimacy and physical part is off the charts. The spoiling, the fun, the enhancement of each others lives transcends above all else.

    Everyone…have a great evening..

  166. LadyGodiva says:

    EBS I agree. Swimming is not just a really great exercise, it’s one of the best. Definitely better than jogging and actually GOOD for your joints! I’d give jogging a C+ and swimming an A+ in terms of grading. And to update you guys the potential SD who did the disappearing act on me logged into the site yesterday but still no email or text. Oddest thing ever. I guess I imagined the profound connection we had. A bit of closure would have been nice instead of kind of leaving me wondering what was happening. Ah well! Time for a breather and then I’ll continue my quest. Much love sugars! <3

  167. SDinATX says:

    Is there any big city anywhere that has “good areas,” that aren’t near mediocre to scary slums? I don’t know of one. Yes, Memorial in Houston is near a rundown part of Houston. However, there is a part of Houston (right by U of H, forget the name) that is full of rundown mansions….

    Sadly, every big city I know of is just like that. Dallas? You can walk a block from 20,000SF homes and buy crack. NYC? Don’t even get me started. London? Yeah, walk one block the wrong way and you can get knifed by Jack the Ripper. LA is infamous for its patchwork neighborhoods as well.

    It’s just the way cities work.

    TexasSugah, how big are they? 😉

  168. TexasSugah says:

    LASB –

    I agree.. no mater how thin the pancake it always has two sides.

    I totally agree with Midwest on why I’m here or there. Maybe I need to get off the other website. Or at least delve into other waters. I think I stay there because it’s more on your personality/education/goals rather than completely physical, which is what I’ve found on SA.

    Guys I have talked to here are not interested in whether or not I can spell my name just how big my knockers are. LOL MEN!

  169. LASB says:

    I don’t believe in “the one” but I do believe that there are a few or more people on this planet, some of who we may never meet, that we are highly compatible with. I’m hoping that I cross paths with one of mine at some point.

  170. TexasSugah says:

    Shoogar- Yeah see you’re right. I really haven’t done my homework on this one. It’s moving very quickly.
    In my profile I was very specific that I’m not playing games and I feel that talking on the phone for a long time is a waste of time.

    He tells me that he doesn’t want to loose me to the site, like the other guy did. Ok that’s cool but….I’m going to dig my heels in and tell him that he has to come here.

    A little bit of my back story, I’m a Sufi, which is a branch of islam. Yeah.. a muslim sugarbaby.. takes all kinds huh? When guys find out, recently they have asked about spirituality flat out, it takes a HUGE turn. I’m like WTH? I’m not going to lie, I don’t volunteer and when I dodge the question it comes up over and over and over. Plus when you speak Turkish, Arabic and Spanish they get curious.

    I dunno.. I’m going to bring it up again to see if I get the same story and then question more intently. WOW this is becoming a job.

    I hope this pays off.. *shakes head*

  171. LASB says:

    Shoogar – I didn’t have a specific question, just wanted to see what people’s take was and what people scored. I scored a 7 with an 8 wing, but I have tons of 5 in me too.

    TexasSugah/Shoogar – Funny, but when I was reading TS’s description of the guy, I kept thinking about Shoogar Shoes most recent experience and how the description from the pot SD about his pot SB could be totally skewed. I mean, I could see where Shoogar’s disaster guy could have said the same thing about her, when in fact he was a complete ass. In my opinion, the fact that he’d complain about his previous pot is already a red flag. Of course, I often meet pots despite all the red flags, but that’s just me. If you do, proceed with caution. I think it’s always safer for them to fly to you. The financial risk to them is the same. But the physical and financial risk to you is much greater if you fly to them. Just my 2 cents.

  172. Midwest says:

    Who remembers the old “Shu, shu, shu, Sugartown” song…I think by Nancy Sinatra? For whatever reason, it is going on in my mind!

  173. Midwest says:

    Shoogar – I really do…I even believe that I was lucky enough to have met mine. I also believe there are several “runner-ups” who shouldn’t be dismissed because of some iidiosyncrasy.

  174. Midwest – since you mentioned it, do you mind if I ask…do you believe there is such a thing as “the one” for all of us? Just curious

  175. Midwest says:

    Evening sugars!

    Why did I choose SA? Sugar dating suits me nicely. I like the intimacy with the understanding that we both have our own lives. It allows the freedom of dating without worrying if you are wasting your time if he isn’t “the one”. The trips, gifts and allowance do make it much sweeter and allow me to reach some financial goals.

    My Mr. Darcy would be the gent from Pride and Prejuidice…he makes me swoon.

    Cleo- I know it’s been a long road so far and you have done a great job with sticking through it. I fear bitterness has temporarily taken over that strong, witty soul of yours. What can we do to help? Think of your rehab patients…they heal more quickly when their attitude is positive and focused on the good. Just keep swimming…just keep swimming.

  176. Geez. So many sentences in my post above that made absolutely NO sense. Jet lag. That’s my story…

  177. TexasSugah – about this Miami guy. My advice would be to get as much of the story as possible on this story of the girl he “claims” acted like a BOZO causing him to be afraid of flying out to you. I say this because of the GF/BF situation you mentioned. I have flown out to meet a pot and he stated (only after I arrived) that they he didn’t want a SB/SD relationship with me, but a traditional GF/BF one (even mentioning wanting me to move in). I was, of course, taken aback and didn’t treat the pot poorly (as I would never do that anyway), but I certainly felt he had wasted my time and wished he would have been more upfront before I flew out. I was very specific in my profile about only seeking my interim, NOT my future so was disappointed that this pot completely disregarded that. I still stayed in the entire weekend and we had a fun time – in fact, he emails occasionally just to say hello so it didn’t end too sourly.

    In other words, we hear these one-sided stories and it’s hard to know what REALLY happened.

  178. Lisa on the good side of the freeway says:

    my old neighborhood across the freeway springbranch is dirty and run down where as where I am now (only a few blocks down) is very nice, I live behind Memorial city mall too :)

  179. Home! Yay. Quick flight.

    LASB – I have taken the Enneagram Personality Typing Test. I have taken several of these types of tests, but the Enneagram has been my favorite as it is a distinct map to our wholeness. Did you have a specific question about the test?

  180. TexasSugah says:

    Hey Lisa…

    Memorial is very nice. It’s really something the way Houston is.. you can be driving past Million+ homes and then make two turns and it’s limping dogs and cars on bricks.

  181. TexasSugah says:

    Hey ya’ll…. I can’t believe I’ve had time to read.. I’m gettng addicted..LOL Sugar Crack!

    Ah ha the conversations have kinda turned to relationships. I don’t “do it” for the guys here either but I’m pretty hot on the other website. Unfortunately, it takes a LONG time to cultivate anything because everyone is looking for love.

    But coming from an arranged marriage.. this just seems normal to me. Not arranged like I hadn’t met the guy before but that we were talking marriage from jump and were basically engaged before we met. Was he well off.. NO! But I’ve learned.

    OC – if you like the guy, or maybe even love him, why not at least entertain the idea for a minute. There’s a little more security in that. And make sure you have a lawyer look at the pre-nup. LOL.

    Mr. Darcy? Oh wow.. Nice.

    Cleo – yes, I’ve seen that happen with those who are on their second or third marriage. The love is everything, it’s not, attitude is pretty much gone and reality has set in.

    Would I like to be a millionaire’s girlfriend/wife HELL YEAH! I believe in visualization so every morning and at least 3 times during the day I visualize what that would look like.

    Now with all that said, I have a guy that contacted me via the other website who is wanting a mistress. He offers travel+gifts+allowance. GEE.. sounds great. But we’ll see.

    Another good potential. He wants me to fly to Miami but I’m just not feeling it. Only been there once and I don’t know him like that. He requested more pics and he really liked what he saw..but as usual, this has turned into a GF/BF wanna be thing. But he was upfront about taking on my bills so what I make at work would be to pay off divorce bills.. can’t complain.

    One question.. he mentioned this other girl that he flew in. She acted like a BOZO with him. So now he’s afraid that if he comes here I might not like him and treat him poorly. I woujld never but.. *shakes head*. How do I make him feel more comfortable?

    Insanity workout???/ hmmmmmmm off to amazon.com

  182. Lisa on the good side of the freeway says:

    fingers accrossed

  183. ESB says:

    Very nice indeed. I may have a house to rent. It’s beautiful, but I need a steady income first. Keep your fingers crossed for me!!

  184. Lisa on the good side of the freeway says:

    Very nice. No thugs anywhere, nice neighborhood. Memorial is one of the best areas of Houston and it’s only a few blocks from my old neighborhood, but across the freeway.

  185. ESB says:

    LISA!!! how’s the “Quiet” life?

  186. Lisa on the good side of the freeway says:

    Good evening everyone

  187. ESB says:

    Ya know, swimming would be so much easier on me. My knees are hurting more than anything. BG is having her fun making fun of me.. she runs RUNS 3 miles every day for LAX. I walk more than I run. Little turd. I’m not 15 anymore either!!

    I must’ve missed the whole road to Rose Bowl blogs. Would have gotten right into that one! Met a guy the other day, asked him if he went to my kids school. He said, I’m from MI, went to MI state. I’m a Wolverene… I just looked at him. Gave him a few seconds, said “I’m a Buckeye” He said, “I guess we have nothing further to say to each other” and got up and walked away! LMAO!!

  188. NEOhio SB says:

    ESB ~~ Thank you. Nice to know there is another who “bleeds scarlet and gray” besides SDN, NY Gent and I. Shame you werent on the blog when college football was going on…Rose Bowl bound….we really had a great time bantering here.
    And as far as your running..i can completely relate to that. I am an avid runner myself, although my preference is being in the water having a good swim workout…(much easier on the bones and joints)…but with the nice weather coming around, it sure is nice to get out for a run and inhale some of the fresh air…good for the mind, body AND soul.

  189. ESB says:

    LadyG: I too am slim thank goodness, but seriously need to tone things up a bit. I added 10 lbs over the depressing winter, so I really need to get that off as well… and from what desribed, not sure I can do the insanity things. Lifting, pushing, pulling… tends to cause pain. Realy not up to going back to physical therapy for 3 – 6 weeks again. LOL… I can just hear my PT now… “You know your limits, why do you insist on pushing them?” Duh, cause I refuse to let this stupid thing slow me down!!

    NESB: Hello!! always good to see a fellow Buckeye in the crowd. Welcome back!!

  190. NEOhio SB says:

    Good evening sugars!!

    Have been MIA on the blog as in work overload, but wanted to chime in and say hello to everyone. Much much to catch up on, but viewing a few of the most recent posts, seems there is much SUGAR activity going on in the sugarbowl………Congrats to those who have found a great arrangement and ((Hugs)) to those still going through the pot ups and downs.

    Shoogar ~~~ I too love that song at the end of the movie…mushy…but soo romantic..and yes, those little things that give that tingly feeling inside.

    Back to reading posts…….

  191. LadyGodiva says:

    Oh yes! Check with your physician before doing it hun. It’s awesome enough as is that you’re getting fit and motivated, wtg!!!!! I’m rooting for ya! Insanity is cardio but a lot of powerjumps, suicides, pushups, heismans etc etc. It is an extreme workout but to be honest I’m lucky enough to be slim without being terribly fit and I’ve been able to do it. Keep up the great work you’re already doing! <3

  192. LadyGodiva says:

    Sorry for the typo, that’s recommend**, and James. M, thanks so much for the advice but according to his profile he’s not but who knows! If that was the case then a little bit of heads up wouldn’t hurt. It was so odd because we had some of the most intense conversations I’ve had in a while and then he literally vanished on me, boohoo! The last thing he asked me was if first class was OK with me, and I said “more than OK, thanks ever so much darling”. We agreed on days to travel etc and then suddenly poof! Needless to say that if I do hear from him I would be simply elated. I felt there was a profound understanding of one another there. Ah well! That’s the way the cookie crumbles I guess! haha

  193. LASB says:

    ESB – I hear ya on the running and how it’s the easiest path to hotness. I actually enjoy it, but it bangs up my joints too much, so I don’t do it as much as I used to. I only use it in emergencies. :) 2-3 days of sprints on the beach and it’s 6 pack city!

    OC – Laundry pot doesn’t live in SoCal. If he did, I’d already have taken him up on his offer. When we meet, he wants to take me shopping for “clown outfits” so I’ll have nice things to wear when I go on my trip with BGpotSD. Life is funny.

    James – I met BGpotSD without exchanging pics and with only a brief phone call. Sounds insane, but he’s amazing and so far things are going well. So he’s not what I had in mind as the “perfect” fantasy SD, but I’m flexible and still willing to explore things with him.

    Yes, leaving things up to chance and serendipity works well for me, not just in the sugarbowl, but also in real life.

    Hey, does anyone here know anything about enneagram personality typing? It’s a bit like Myers Brigss, but seems to address a different realm of one’s personality. A pot SD turned me onto it, and it’s helping me figure out what I want in a relationship/mate.

  194. ESB says:

    Insanity? sounds kinda scary. I have a neck injury so I’m really limited to what I can and can’t do, but I will check it out. Thank you so much for the tip!! .

    OH, and OC.. WOW!! There is a part of me that wants that again someday.. to have someone love me that much. Just don’t know that I will be able to fully let go again. Time will tell….

  195. LadyGodiva says:

    ESB try the Insanity workout. It’s really great cardio, only 40 mins a day and you get results you can’t get simply by jogging. It is comparable to P90x but without weights and in your own home! I recoommend highly. Day 4 and my tummy is washboard. 60 day program (but of course you should continue after getting desired results)

  196. ESB says:

    Let me add I hurt EVERYWHERE!! I hate running, but noticed I have already lost 2 lbs, and only been at it 2 days. Every year when I start, the weight drops FAST. If I can get through the first 2 weeks, I’ll be fine. I’m hoping one of the gentlemen I am talking to moves quickly, and I can get my membership back at the Y, and really step up my workout routine. Miss my pilates classes!!

  197. ESB says:

    WOW! Got some great conversations going on here.
    james.m… I came here because I needed a quick fix to a bad situation. Now that I know more about the sugar world, I think it has more to do with the fact that I am emotionally unavailable. I have been hurt to many times in my short time at being single. I may have rushed things a bit, but having the men I was seeing being involved with other women, and not telling me… I have no desire to be in a traditional relationship at the moment. If love bites me in the arse, so be it. I’m not looking for it though.

  198. Wonderland says:

    Safe trip!

  199. Lily says:

    have a safe trip, shoo!!

  200. Just boarded my flight, guys. See you later…

  201. OC – Yes! “Grow Old With Me” – so much depth in such simplistic lyrics. Even for a silly, movie, the words move me every time. I’m a sucker for the little things.

  202. James.M says:

    Back from the butterflies. They were somewhat disappointing, because they were limited in varieties. Actually, the butterfly hut at the Bellagio this time of the year is better. But it was great to be able to be outside in the sculpture garden. Took the beast for a long run in the park, and he knows it’s spring, too.

    Cleo – “I don’t mind shorter, older, balder and even that famous few extra pounds… but it might be best if all of those adjectives didn’t apply at once.”

    What a great turn of a phrase.

    CC – “Funny how with women it’s mental and with guys it’s physical.”

    I think that’s true, at least for the initial impression. If you can get past that, and get to talking, that goes away fairly quickly. Interestingly, there is experimental evidence that is true for men with men as well. Studies of males in the workplace show that better looking, taller, blue-eyed men (each characteristic, not all at once) have higher average compensation, and more important job titles than men with “the adjectives”. It is a subtle, usually unconscious prejudice, but we seem to think better looking people perform better (even though they don’t).

    Cleo – “it’s only true to say that traditionally men have been luckier at finding beauty and brains together than woman have.”

    Maybe that’s because there are more good looking women with brains than men? Our odds are better than yours?

    Lady Godiva –“ talking on the phone Friday evening and he suddenly hung up the phone on me. Haven’t heard from him since, not even a text or email.”

    I’ll ask the obvious question: is he married? If so, I’ll bet you hear from him when he’s back at work tomorrow.

    SouthernGent – OC is right: “I joined SA not to have the traditional dating scenario.”

    I did the Match thing, and found a very different type of woman there. Her goal is marriage. I much prefer the ladies here.

    OC – “Now I am actually contemplating his offer of marriage. Go figure… OC settling down…”
    Say it ain’t so, O! (apologies to Joseph Jefferson Jackson, 1888-1951).

  203. OC – did you ever watch The Wedding Singer? (Adam Sandler) That silly, little song he sings to her at the end on the airplane makes me cry like a baby every single time.

  204. The most important line in James.M’s soapbox moment above (in my opinion, anyway)…

    “…there are two people involved in the search.”


  205. Never mind. That was Better Off Dead. Another Cusack movie! I’m still drunk from Friday night mojitos. Yes, it was a superb weekend.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Always get Adam Sandler and John Cusack mixed up! Both very funny..
      “One question: do you need… someone, or do you need me?… Forget it, I don’t really care”

  206. Hello Sugars,

    I am sitting in an airport now with tropical island breezes still whispering through my locks of hair, mojitos and mint leaves permeating through my pores, a renewed sense of relaxation and just trying to catch up on email and the blog. So many topics, not sure I can even catch up. I will certainly try at some point. I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

    Did someone mention Say Anything?? “I want my two dollars!!”

  207. Wonderland says:

    No, haha. Say Anything with John Cusack!

  208. Wonderland says:

    “My Baby?” That was more like some odd mexican song. Haha, but if that was the right one then it was lovely.

    Mr. Darcy in my head always shows up to Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes.” He’s also wearing a trenchcoat and holding a boombox. But now that I’m getting older and more sophisticated with my fantasy: He’s wearing a Burberry trench and holding an ipod. I’m in the granny knickers and bathrobe………..

  209. Wonderland says:

    Yeah……. sigh. I don’t know if that’s why I’m here.
    Really a) I don’t have time or ready to commit; though I have days where I’m watching Bridget Jones Diary hoping that Mr. Darcy storms through my door and sweeps me off my feet. b) I just need some assitance in having fun; I work and pay my own way but I’d like to travel have a dress in a window and be able to enjoy life a bit more than i do now.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Wonderland you and I both are dreamers! My problem is that when Mr Darcy showed up I was scared to death of him!

      • OCSugarBaby says:

        lol you are funny! Zucchero & Cheb Mami are a lovely duet. But you are right it is kind of an odd sound.
        Boom box? Like in the wedding singer? I think that was the movie. Love the Burberyy trench coat.

  210. Alluring Anna says:

    Hi SG2! So nice to see you!

    Hi everybody! Popping in and out today. Hopefully I’ll have some quality blog time later. Now that I’ve given all of you a heads up you can figure out a way not to be here…..LOL. Seems like every time I’m around for any length of time y’all take off. 😀

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Anna are you doing a hit and run on us again? I don’t blame you, go out and enjoy the day! I need to give that a try myself…

  211. Wonderland says:

    Haha, OC an undertaker of reality!!!!!!!!
    If you throw in sex could be proper six feet under style!

    But none the less, problems seem easier to handle when you have someone you love to lean on. Marriage in my opinion is something I look forward to for that reason; at the end of the day no matter how tough the outside world is my partner will always be there to hold my hand and help me get through it. SD/SB relationships just help you escape it…….

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Wonderland/SouthernGent2: ESCAPE is the perfect word to describe why many come here.

  212. Wonderland says:

    TLG: Haha, if only I could get paid to be a professional bookworm!

    I just work strange hours and travel alot. An arrangement is the best I can hope for at the moment. I don’t have time to date regularly as much as I’d love to have a nice older boyfriend in a regular environment, but a nice SD will do for now.

  213. Wonderland says:

    I hope one day I meet the right guy……….. I just don’t know if many can handle my career choice.



    • OCSugarBaby says:

      No fairy tale here. Real life, real issues. But a wonderful caring partner to work thru them all. Not sure on the ending to the story yet.
      Hence my weekend of blogging instead of facing my fears errr or reality. I am taking my time with the decision but yes he has formally asked me.

      Thrilled? Yes! Scared out of my mind? You betcha!

  214. cleo says:

    SG2: i haven’t even had an arrangement… apparently i don’t ‘do it’ for the men around here.

    i’ve seen friends with benefits evolve to marriage though and that strikes me as a pretty similar vibe

  215. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Awww OC – marriage?? 😀

  216. Wonderland says:

    OC-wow! sounds like you are living a fairy tale :) I hope one day I meet the right guy……….. I just don’t know if many can handle my career choice.

    So the pot. SD I’d been speaking to off the site has vanished but hopefully an email from him later tonight.

    And a faux SD messaged me. “New to the site” but “Same OLD B.S.”

    Grrrr……. xx

  217. SouthernGent2 says:

    Cleo – interesting answer. Have you ever had an arrangement develop into a relationship?

  218. SouthernGent2 says:

    OC – obviously you have become the rare exception for all this. But your previous intent in joining validates my point to a degree. If I recall correctly, you always had rules about not having arrangements with married men? Or was that someone else on the blog?

  219. cleo says:

    southerngent2: i can’t bear to date another poverty stricken cheapskate who is still tied to his mommy’s apron strings. at least here men are pretending to have a little class and decorum and i won’t be further behind when we’re done than when we started.

    am i looking for an arrangement? absolutely

    would i be delighted to end up with a rich boyfriend instead? you better believe it!

  220. LadyGodiva says:

    Finally connected with a great guy who seemed like the quintessential SD. We had amazing conversations non stop for two days straight and he said he wanted me to come out later this week. We were talking on the phone Friday evening and he suddenly hung up the phone on me. Haven’t heard from him since, not even a text or email. I guess it’s true what they say, if it seems too good to be true it usually is. Total bummer. Hopefully I do hear from him sometime but a bit discouraged at this point. Oh…and Sean Connery ftw!!!! Let me get some of that please! haha <3 Sugars

  221. SouthernGent2 says:

    Subject change if everyone doesn’t mind – how many women on SA are there just to have something of a normal dating relationship rather than an arrangement. Why would someone choose SA over a traditional dating site such as Match if that was the goal? Having a friendly debate with someone about this, but its getting a bit heated now.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Hi SouthernGent, heated debate? lol I have missed you!!!
      I joined SA not to have the traditional dating scenario.
      Afraid of settling down and the sugar lifestyle was attractive!
      But it stood infront of me or I should say it bit me in the behind
      and I have never looked back! I guess we both were unsure about
      the normal dating realm until we met and fell in love. If you asked
      me a year ago I would have said you would never find me in a
      relationship longer than 6 months. I still feel that itch to run but
      it passes in a second or two as in the past it lingered for days
      until I turned back to the sugar bowl. Now I am actually
      contemplating his offer of marriage. Go figure… OC settling down…

  222. Lily says:

    Hi there Vic!

  223. cleo says:

    Vic: people keep telling me that i’m exactly the kind of woman men like: tall and pretty and smart and funny and covered in muscles sheathed in an hourglass…

    but then i see who they date…

    THAT said, you are totally right when you say “you just gotta keep going until you know you don’t have to anymore” it’s just i can’t tell anymore. i think there’s great potential and never hear from them again.

    anyway to say women are only about brains is about as simplistic as saying men are only about looks. it’s only true to say that traditionally men have been luckier at finding beauty and brains together than woman have.

  224. Victor- fab for you. However, there is a ton of scientific evidence that backs up my little quip.

    You are right that “what works on paper, doesn’t work in real life.”

    Which is a wonderful thing in my opinion.

  225. VicTorSD says:

    “Funny how with women it’s mental and with guys it’s physical.”

    That is just so narrow a view. LOL! It’s also patently untrue.

    With me it’s about finding the full deal…brains and beauty and the chemistry to make it all work with me. We’re all complex creatures and we don’t always work well together regardless of how good it looks ‘on paper.’ You just gotta keep going until you know you don’t have to anymore.

    By the way, been lurking a long time. thanks for hearing me out.


    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Vic I have to have three solid factors in place:
      1. Business Savvy
      ~This is sexy beyond words. A powerful man is an aphrodisiac to me!
      2. Handsome
      ~ Slightly older Tall, killer smile and eyes that can play strip poker and WIN!
      3. Chemistry
      ~ Add one and two and you have #3

      I am lucky enough to have all three qualities in my sugar. Yet I see myself as attractive but not stunning. The best part is he tells me daily just the opposite. Which brings me back to 1,2 and 3.

  226. Cleo, they can’t be shorter than me, as I am barely 5 feet tall! As for looks, it’s more about mental stimulation than anything else.

    Funny how with women it’s mental and with guys it’s physical.

  227. cleo says:

    stephan? thank you for the more frequent blogs, it’s much better!

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Cleo I just spit my drink out! You never cease to make me LAUGH until my sides hurt!
      Yes it would be best if all the adjectives were not present at once..
      ~snort, side hurts, rolling on floor, dying, help, tears rolling down cheek

  228. Midwest says:

    Stephan – I’m not sure if it’s me or the blog, but this particular thread seems to be smaller. I had to change my screen to 125%. When I go to other sites, they look like 125%, so there is an obvious difference. Any thoughts?

  229. cleo says:

    er SOME men become

  230. cleo says:

    james.m i treat everyone like a prospect regardless until they do something to explicitly turn me off

    i answer the one line emails, although sometimes with a smartass remark (made for a couple of great conversations)

    i meet anyone who wants to because you never know

    but i don’t meet with the obese ones or the ones whose pictures explicitly turn me off. that seems mean since i am so unlikely to find myself wanting to sleep with them.

    i don’t pretend a spark i don’t feel but am genuinely interested in people so even still it’s usually a nice meeting.

    i don’t mind shorter, older, balder and even that famous few extra pounds… but it might be best if all of those adjectives didn’t apply at once. that said, it’s all about the sparkle in your eye and the words that come out of your mouth… and if your words don’t get my brain you aren’t getting my body.

    that said, it is amazing just how boorish men become at a certain point in the dating hierarchy

  231. Midwest says:

    Perfect example of James’ point today ladies! I thought I lost someone’s interest, so I sent a freindly “I understand” type e-mail and suggested he visit the blog (I think his character matches ours). He wants to try to meet. Go figure!

  232. Midwest says:

    Hi Anna, Photo, Wonderland and Jade.

    My experience has always been that dates and sds will frequently travel to or near your area. Meeting part way shows flexibility on your part. IF you find it puts a strain on your resources, sweetly share your concerns…he may provide some assistance for gas, tolls, etc., he may send a car/taxi or he may just come to you. There is always a solution if you are flexible and honest.

    As for how it plays into the allowance, men have different thoughts as to how this plays out…some think everything is included, others feel its the cash portion. Again, communicate. If you find you are incurring expenses that prohibit reaching goals, present some alternative options.

  233. It’s so funny how you can give great advice to other people and suck at it for yourself :)

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      CarpatianCutie it is easier to say than to do. Plus we all need that extra set of eyes. I tend to feel all warm and cozy in my diabetic coma and others help to feed advice to keep the sugar dosage at a safe level.

  234. Lily says:

    Morning AA!

    Grace, just do what others said: suggest an initial date in public to see how you hit it off. He’ll likely poof on his own.

  235. James- thanks for the insight. Guess I won’t be sending him an email stating that I want to jump on him like a hungry cheetah…lol.

    Grace- be wary. if he just wants to hit the hotel and isn’t interested in getting to know, there’s nothing there–well except for him-he’s got some sort of fantasy going on and I have a feeling that you don’t want to be an unwilling participant.

  236. Wonderland says:

    Jade: Well he would be coming to me. HE is the traveler!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  237. Jade says:

    Wonderland – Be sure that you get a higher allowance for having to travel . Some sds will take your allowance out of the travel costs and you end up with less to work with and more time in.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Good Morning Miss Anna I didn’t see you up there!

      Not sure if the road to time in = higher allowance…
      I have broken all the sugar blog rules with traveling to see a Potential (yes, James.M I think a Pot is a Pot regardless of the stage of courtship) for the first meeting. Also I had not had a phone conversation prior to meeting. I guess I screen them differently and the ability to prove who they are is enough.
      If a Pot had brought up that since he is only seeing me X amount of times per month, and he feels the allowance is line with that frequency. I would ponder the thought of a higher caliber of pay for play. What difference does it make if we meet every day or twice a month when it comes to both sugars being happy with the arrangement? Allowance is just a small part of that picture.

  238. Alluring Anna says:

    James.M – Enjoy the gardens and, BTW, I loved your post 😀

    Hi Photo, OC, Lily, Cleo!

    Welcome to Blogville Grace! 😀

  239. Wonderland says:

    James M: Great advice, thanks for your thoughts! Much appreciated.

    I am talking to a prospect now and I hope that it gets to the point where the two of us plan to meet…… he’s an out of towner but that’s the best I think for me. I just prefer as much privacy as possible and that way the time constraint is a bit more mapped out: he’s here in my city x amount of times per month and can see me x amount of days out of that month. I have a career to focus on and I think having a local SD in my situation would seriously distract me! LOL

  240. Jade says:

    Grace – I would turn him down just from the “creep factor” approach he is doing. Every time I turn down a guy he comes back with ” You are a whore !”

    Not sure how one can be a whore if you turned down the offer. * scratching head *

  241. Midwest says:

    Grace – James is right. It sounds more like pay for play. If you want to give him the benefit of a doubt, suggest the meet sans hotel for first few visits. If James is right, he will disappear on his own.

    James – we all need to hear this once in a while. Well said.

  242. photogirl says:

    James.m – THANK YOU! A much needed soapbox moment 😉
    Enjoy the butterfly gardens!

    Good morning/afternoon everyone!

  243. James.M says:

    The general response will probably be, “he’s looking for a hooker, dump him now.” They’re right.

  244. grace says:

    Hullo sugars!
    I’ve been lurking for a week or so (new SB, no SD yet!) and of course now I have an problem and need some sugar advice (I know, selfish girl, right?).

    So I’ve been dancing around preliminaries with a few potential SD’s, and things are really looking up! I should have figured the first time around would work fairly easily.

    One man inparticular looks like he wants to hand over a very generous allowance, covering my expenses entirely and allowing me to get rid of some debt.
    Well-travelled, well-spoken, incredible career, lives in my area and wants to meet only a couple times a month for “short dates”. We emailed a little, he sent me his photo, and then this – he says that he wants to meet for lunch and then head back to a hotel. He expects every date from the first to the last to go like that. He wants to hand over an allowance every time I see him. He seems serious about being an SD, and of course I need the cash, but he also seems to be saying “all or nothing, baby”.

    Not surprisingly, this makes me feel like a call girl, and I would rather not feel like a call girl.

    On another note – having serious trouble locating him on the internet, even with the large amount of information he gave me about his job.

    Should I try to be a strong girl and tell him I need a couple dates sans hotel? Or, should I be thankful he brought this up before the first date and respectfully bow out?


    • OCSugarBaby says:

      James M I couldn’t help to peek back in in-between loads. So TRUE! It is like peeling back the layers of an onion. Some will make you cry but hopefully it is out of laughter!

      Grace oh sweetie he sounds like a well, I will be direct.. Hit it and or quit it type of guy (notice I did not say SD) Not knowing him I will have to side with his type of arrangement to fall towards the pay for play scenario. For a true gentleman SD, what does an inventment of 1/2 a months allowance hurt? Proceed with caution…

  245. James.M says:

    SBs – OC’s comment “remember SD’s have frustrations with us as well!” is prescient. At the risk of being labelled (probably negatively), let me bring up a couple of thoughts I’ve had while listening to your search stories.

    First, there are two people involved in the search. Don’t get so wrapped up in what YOU want, and the PotSD’s response TO YOU that you fail to consider what HE is doing. He is looking through a bevy of beauties of various ages, locations and inclinations, trying to find the right one. He does not pursue one, see how that works, and them move on to the next. He may have contracted several, and have several initial dates lined up. CC, perhaps it is as simple as he had another initial date (or two) planned during the following week, and he didn’t mention it to you. He may not be poofing, precisely because he DID like you. He’s just going through his search process. He didn’t say No to you because he likes you. “No” is always the easiest answer for a buyer to give a seller.

    In short, it isn’t always about you.

    (By the way, No is the second best answer a seller can get from a buyer. Ask him, “why?” In a corporate setting, that allows you to follow up with “If I fix that one thing, will you buy the product?” and hook him. Here, you can’t do that (you really can’t be taller/shorter, younger/older, etc.) but it can give you some interesting information about how you come across to SDs.

    Pot SDs are men (generally), and we are not the brightest bulbs at times. Most men are not going to come right out and tell you what they are thinking (not unlike most women I know, come to think of it). Especially the good ones. And, because they are men, it isn’t about you, it’s about them (to them). If you only look at it from your point of view, it will turn them off. The minute I came across “I want”, or “I deserve,” in a profile, I stopped reading. Period. there is no bigger turnoff than a sense of entitlement. (Yes, that applies to SDs, too).

    Corollary 1 to that last point: if they seem to be too good to be true, they generally are.

    Corollary 2: If you want to know something, ask him. Don’t sit back and wait for him to offer it up. But, ask him gently, he may not know the answer, or may need some time and thought before telling you. We generally don’t want to be direct.

    The standards that have been talked about here are generally unrealistic. We are not all Bill Gate’s bankroll, Sean Connery’s looks, and Cary Grant’s manners rolled into one. We are short, dumpy, tall, skinny, richer, poorer, and less sophisticated than you would like. Get over it. Give us a chance, because you will find out we may be more interesting and better than you thought. Invest a little time in people who seem nice, but don’t meet your highest standards.

    I think one big difference between SBs who find an SD sooner and ones who don’t, is their investment in chance. They go on 4 initial dates the first week and they give someone a chance to show his stuff (not that stuff! Get your minds out of NM’s dungeon!) And, they find a great guy who – surprise, surprise – doesn’t meet their preconceived notion of the perfect SD. I hear much too much negative stuff about men who contact them. Sure, some are louts. But some aren’t.

    There are louts on SA. Get over it. There are SBs out there like that, too. And yes, there are SBs who aren’t interested in anything but sex.

    A Pot is not a Pot until ? If you haven’t met him, he’s a prospect at best.
    Don’t invest too much hope in him until you’ve met. Then, you’ll know what realistic expectations might be. I see lots of high expectations dashed, with resulting doubts and depression, when they were unrealistic (or at least, untested).

    OK, I’ll get off my soapbox. Sorry for the long post. I’m off to Meijer Gardens to see the Butterflies. It is spring in West Michigan!

  246. Lily says:

    any other good movie suggestions?

  247. cleo says:

    when i got back from italy my manicurist made the girl doing my pedicure feel my skin because she couldn’t believe how soft my hands were. ahhh salt water and olive oil :)

  248. Alluring Anna says:

    Hi Midwest! 😀

    Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

  249. Thanks! I shot that photo. I can’t believe I just figured out how to do the avatar thingy- not easy!

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      LASB I so need that Pot’s email that does Laundry! I have been traveling so much I am going to be doing it for hours…
      Later gaters! Thanks for playing with me this morning, you guys are the best. Try to keep it positive and remember SD’s have frustrations with us as well!
      But we smell so good and have such soft skin they can’t think straight most of the time! ok one parting word to keep the fun flowing along… BOOBIES

  250. Midwest says:

    CC – Pretty shoes!

  251. Lily says:

    It depends on so many things, newSB!

  252. Midwest says:

    Hi AA *wildly waving*

  253. I’ve done that, but don’t know how to add it in here. what’s my next step?

  254. Midwest says:

    CC – Gravatar dot com. Just remember your pic follows your e-mail…I’ve seen it on my messenger and yahoo. It’s good to keep your blog pic separate if you want to stay anonymous.

  255. newSB says:

    cleo: i would have to travel to canada and i myself do not live in canada

    ocsugarbaby: toucheeee! love the formula, haha!

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      CarpathianCutie just google GRAVATAR and you will find the site to create a log in and add the pic.
      I took mine from the new Danielle Steel book! lol

  256. cleo says:

    newSD all travel expenses and incidentals should be covered. as for the allowance? a lot depends on location

  257. Cleo, love that phrase- “That’s Canadian for ‘go away’.”‘ Hilarious!

    Thanks for everyone weighing in, I appreciate it.

    Now I have another question- how do I get an avatar on this site?? Everyone has a cool one and I want to join in on the fun!

  258. cleo says:

    carpathian cutie i get the same thing in sugar dating or real life dating. usually just no contact but if they do? “we should get together soon”

    yeah that’s canadian for ‘go away’

    and same thing, great convos, flirty touching, little kisses after and then?


    it’s enough to make me think i’m fat except you can’t be fat and 5’11 and fit into size 31 jeans… (working on 29!) and i know i’m not ugly (especially since they’ve seen my pics and that’s what i look like)

    got nothing useful babe sorry.
    as for exercise, always take breaks on occasion or your body gets comfortable and stops noticing the workouts

  259. newSB says:

    hello sugars!!!

    i had a question: how much is a reasonable amount for an allowance if i have to travel to my SD and saw him about twice a month?

    thank you!

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      NewSB that amount is not for anyone other than yourself to determine. It is a very individual thing and if we were to tell you the magical number it would not be helpful in working on your specific arrangement details. You need to communicate with your potential SD and first find out if there is chemistry.
      Take the Chemistry and distance and multiply it with the number of times you will see him, divide the age of the pot and add 50 if he has blue eyes…

      See my point? Communication is the key to success!
      “Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success”

  260. Alluring Anna says:

    Good morning everyone! 😀

  261. Midwest says:

    OC – LOL! I see how you keep that sugar flowing!

  262. Midwest says:

    Hi TXSugah and Wonderland!

    No Oscars watching for me…I always get the highlights later. I am intrigued by “An Education” though.

    TXSugah – My thighs and arms will get bulkier if I build muscle, so I have to do toning. My personal trainer has me doing a lighter version of P90X and I’m seeing great results in 3 mos. I’ve lost 5 lbs, but see tone developing all over. My clothes are loose all over (need to go shopping) and just feel better about how I look. I’ve learned to love my trouble spot, but that’s not so difficult anymore :-)

    CC – OC is right…confidence is sexy and you have to exude that a man is going to be thrilled to be with you. Don’t get cocky though…we all know about that balance.

  263. Wonderland says:

    Hi sugars, it’s late afternoon here and going to do my grocery shopping in a minute but just wanted to say my profile got re approved after editing it with all the tips I recieved last night so thanks. I will be up late tonight (being in the UK will have to stay up till 1 a.m. to watch the Oscars) it really has no bearing on my life whatsoever but I enjoy seeing the dresses and there are some Brits flying the flag so have to stay up and cheer them on!! An Education is a great sugar film to watch because it just had a positive message to stay independent and that sugar doesn’t necessarily mean you quit your day job or abandon focus on your goals; it’s supposed to enhance your life not become your life. But my life could use some enhancing and hopefully the SD I’m looking for will come along and do so!

    Topic: anyone else watching the oscars and who are you rooting for?

  264. Thanks guys, I appreciate it. I actually have a few other pots, but this one interested me….sigh.

  265. TexasSugah says:

    Speaking of weight loss, everything I was doing was adding bulk. I didn’t think that it was going to happen with age but.. it did.

    So I’m eating better and started the weight dropping and now I’m putting exercise going again. I’m doing bellydancing. I love it and it’s great cardio.

  266. ESB says:

    Midwest: I do that all the time. Send a flirty message a few weeks later… I might get them to send a few more emails, but I think they have already moved on. I am now talking to one I had on the pipeline 6 months ago. I had to get some stuff straight in my life before moving forward with my search, but he is still interested, and I’m meeting him tomorrow.

    I do NOT enjoy running, I just enjoy the results. It is total body conditioning. I hurt like H##L after, but it makes me loose weight faster than any other exercise I’ve ever tried. One hour of EVERYTHING!! Cardio, weight (lifting my legs), and the toning results are mag. Once I get going, I feel so much better about everything. I get that runners high, and it keeps me going, but I seriously hate it.

    OC: love your analysis. Nice work… I could use some help with marketing. Do you have my email? I have a question for you.

    CC: Midwest is right, if he passed on you, then he is not the right one for you. I am sorry, I know it hurts. Just keep swimming!! :)

  267. I find it interesting when I get an email from a man who states he wants NSA, I ask him what the term means to him, as everyone has their own interpretation of it- and when I do, I find they don’t reply. So, I think they’re either a p for p, or just want a one-shot deal or an escort…

  268. whoops- am typing without my contacts- meant to write after (I thought I’d swoon) and now nada.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      CarpatianCutie lunch or dinner endings that leave you wanting more are hard. Try to put
      yourself in the mind set that he would be “Lucky to have you as his SB” and that
      you attract what your thoughts send out. Meaning you will exude that spark of
      electricity and desire when you keep your mind set on wanting an answer right now.
      Some SD’s will let you know by the end of the first date if they want to move forward.
      Most do anyways. However there are a few who need to process it in their head for a
      few days. Don’t put your EGGS in one basket! Having more than one Pot going is
      the best recipe. It will have the men chasing you!

  269. Lily says:

    I don’t think I re-invented the wheel or anything regarding my sugar self-portrait gallery. But thanks, Midwest, for the compliment!! I just did a new ‘session’ yesterday although I must admit, they were mostly nudes. I had a whole saturday to myself and I was feeling kind of indulgent and erotic and I wanted to see what I could do with my little amateur self-portrait photography project, in the buff. Mostly just curious as to how I would look, au naturale. I gotta say it was fun! And I enjoy the photos, after I played with the effects to make them artistic, rather than pornographic. Not a single photo with any view to any orifice, by the way. only tasteful nudes highlighting the curves and slopes of the body, nothing graphic. I need to look into taking a photography class….

    but as to my SA profile pics, I had a few hours, a few outfit changes, and a corner of my apartment with a big cushy chair where I could set the camera on the table facing me. I have a self-timer that does ten in a row, with 5 seconds in between, so I would have time to reposition myself quickly or turn myself to a slightly different angle and do something a little bit different with the photo in a similar pose. I did this maybe 30 times, and I would get maybe one good photo per each set of ten. I then played with cropping it to get the excess out from the borders that didn’t add anything to the photo, and sometimes to take part of my face out (usually just chop off the top of the head and leave the smirk/smile part of the face in the shot). Then ….playing with contrast/brightness/color to see how it could look the best. Sometimes a photo suddenly looks calm and classic in black and white, whereas the original was too busy.

    with profile text, I am ALL about the dreamy, suggestive, intelligent prose just to hint at there being much more beneath the surface, if only he dares to dream and ask me…. I have browsed enough male and female profiles enough to the point where I prefer (for both sides) profiles which just put a few lines of fun, flirtation, and whimsy out there which invites a more direct Q & A via email, with only a couple of “points” regarding specifics (re: a hypothetical arrangement) because I want to keep it exciting, fun, stimulating…. since that’s why the guys are here. I figure they are NOT reading it to hear about how my life needs someone to fix a, b, and c issue in it, etc. I rather prefer an arrangement to be more about the chemistry and connection, and have the sugar aspect sort of just happen magically behind the scenes, and then *I’ll* use my discretion as to how to best utilize that to help get me closer to my goals, kwim?

    UNLESS his career accomplishments pivot him as particularly capable of functioning as a career mentor, and in that case, I’ll happily let him jump in as silent advisor or active co-pilot driving my career.

    But otherwise, just a traditional SD/SB relationship is fine and I do NOT think NSA means me stating everything about me and my life on my profile and spending the duration of the arrangement as if you would be melding your lives togehter and disclosing every last thing about your being.

  270. Thanks guys, I appreciate the advice. I’m kinda an impatient person and there are times when I don’t want to wait for something to unfurl, I just want it NOW. LOL.
    He and I had an email exchange going that was, quite frankly hilarious and flirty. The frist time we talked on the phone, I thought we’d combust. we finally meet, have a lovely lunch (I thought), he even leaned over and lightly kissed me on the lips (thought I’d swoon) nad no wnada. I sent him a thank you email after the lunch and got an email, “I’ll be in touch.” OUCH!

  271. Midwest says:

    CC – based on what you are sharing, I’m not so sure you failed the audition. Some men are meeting multiple potentials, so stay positive and have some fun with it. Try to stay focused on the search while keeping his attention.

    OC – Thanks <3
    The stats are very helpful! Truthfully, I don't think I've ever gotten more than 2-3 e-mails in a day. I'm sure it has much to do with geography and age. However, 90% of the e-mails I receive are of quality so I have to do very little weeding out. I'm one who has to reach out to men and get noticed. :-)

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Midwest I am in my mid 30’s. Age on SA is a non issue. I think that the pendulum swings with equal distance with regard to age preference. The amount of emails I would get were large in number. Maybe it was my location. But you are right, I too am grateful for the quality over skeeze. There were a few klunkers. Taking the time to email and formulate real responses. I tended to connect on an intellectual level and love love love talking business and world events. My Midwest values always were spilling out into my conversation. The compliment of “you are so real and different” was music to my ears. You can move the girl to Cali but you she will still pack a Midwest punch in her suitcase…

  272. Midwest says:

    CC – I’ve also learned that if a few weeks pass, you can send a friendly, flirty reminder to just stay in touch. If you have ever been in sales, you will understand that this can be quite like trying to turn a prospect into a customer…they may not be looking seriously right now, or have other ideas of what they want for the moment, but it’s always good to stay in touch when the right moment comes along.

    These men get busy and SA is hardly their first priority. Be patient, but don’t give up just yet. I would say 1 or 2 friendly reminders spaced a few weeks apart is enough. If he doesn’t reply or says “no, thank you”, you have your answer.

  273. ESB says:

    CC: So sorry sweety, I know you are bummed about what happened (the poofer) but was there a specific question you had? I’ve had a few do the same to me, not after meeting them, BEFORE!! Not really sure what to tell you to do about it. I scrolled up and didn’t find anything about a dilemma of yours… so, um.. what are we discussing (or not?)

  274. Hey Midwest- I don’t think he was a poof daddy, but I think I failed the audition (Beatles reference). The man even gave me a gift after lunch!

  275. Midwest says:

    CC – Are you talking about poof daddy or did something new come up?

    As for poofs, all you can do is remind yourself that you are beautiful, intelligent, fun and that you WILL meet your sugar daddy! An SDs search here is like shooting fish in a barrel, so the slightest reason can have them seeking a baby who lives 30 miles instead of 60 miles away…who is 5’8″ instead of 5’5″, etc, etc.

    Stay confident because confidence is sexy!!!

  276. Midwest says:

    ESB – I envy those who enjoy running. I gave it an honest effort and set a goal to complete three 5Ks. I accomplished the goal, but never developed a love for it. I do enjoy hiking…especially if there are some nice trails. My gym is starting a group soon, so I think I’m going to get involved.

    It figures that those rare times you get to sleep in you end up being wide awake at 7am.

  277. um, can we talk a bit about my dilemma please!

  278. ESB says:

    Good morning Midwest: LOL… I agree, but I’ve been up for 3 hours now. Got a text at 7 AM that woke me. Couldn’t get back to sleep after reading it. Waiiting for the chill to break so I can go for a run. So excited about getting back out side. Might even get some yard work done today.

  279. Midwest says:

    Good morning sugars!

    I think I prefer coffee over bondage this early in the morning.

    I have rewritten parts of my profile and want to change up the picture…inspiration from previous blog to stay fresh. I’m actually wishing I had done this sooner as I don’t want my profile to be down today. So…I’ll just change it tomorrow. It’s nice to write it in Word, then copy/paste it into SA. It helps with spelling, punctuation and those little things that can make a big difference. I got a great deal on a camera w/a remote, so it’s time to start experimenting with taking better pics. I’m open to tips and suggestions.

    Lily – I’d love to hear your tips on how you set up your pics. They are fun and flattering. If you want to put an abridged version here for all, I will contact you off the blog as well.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Morning Midwest!
      Midwest your pics are very flattering. You do not need tips silly girl, they are fabulous!
      Good move on not putting your profile in dri-dock for Sunday. I am the one who
      tried to give the advice on best days to stay view-able!
      Since I am a hard core marketing person, I actually went back thru all my emails and did
      the statistical analysis. On a typical Thursday thru Monday I would receive about 11 per day
      on average. With Sunday nights being the highest volume, some days going up to 15.
      I changed up my profile at least once a week (drove SA bonkers). Just to keep it fresh and
      updated. I played with down playing my education (removed my Graduate Degree).
      My pictures were also rotated from week to week. But please don’t everyone do it!
      SA will kill me :) I like the idea of keeping it short and fresh. New pictures are easy to
      add, just make sure they are of JUST you. The majority of the comments came from my skiing or
      golfing photo’s. I had so much fun with my search and sugar pursuits. I met the most
      amazing men and kept my meet and greets to the best of the best. Selective sugar screening.
      I still keep in contact with many of them. My searching did not take too long. But the selection process
      did take several weeks (no haters please). lol

  280. ESB says:

    Good Morning OC, glad I could assist in opening those eyes this morning!! :)

    In other news… my room mate had a date Fri night, and he is STILL not home!! woo hoo… go roomy!!

  281. ESB says:

    Lily: I agree. I have heard of so many types and variations of submission, that is why I asked him to give me his def. I can handle a little bondage, if I totally trust the person, but not into leather whips and choke masks. Nah, not me.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Good Morning Sugars!
      (puppies, rainbows, dolphins and …)
      Ok, waking up and reading whips and chains, choking before my first cup of coffee is an eye opener!
      You East Coasters are alive this morning!!! ESB glad to hear the weather is fabulous! Get out and enjoy it :)
      Heading back to the kitchen… further reading may need another dose of caffine :)

  282. Lily says:

    ESB – good thing you asked. Some subs are into pain. When someone says “very submissive” they usually mean a masochist submissive type who can (and wants to/gets off on) play pretty rough. Interest in S & M doesn’t make someone a ‘bad person’ although to the rest of us, it can all seem quite dark and a little scary. I’m a hybrid model gal myself. Quite happy with the power games and bondage, and like discipline to the point of crossing the line into S&M a bit, but definitely not on a hard-core level and the pain is not what I’m seeking. So I rule out sadistic type Dominants. But whatever two consenting adults do for recreation is 100% groovy in my book, and wish them well!

  283. ESB says:

    Good morning Sugar family!! The sun is out, the birds are singing, temps are to reach the 60’s today… life is good!! It’s just wonderful how the sun being out can make a person feel so much happier and lighter… speaking of which, I’m going for a run again, but waiting ‘til closer to noon. The wind was to chilly yesterday, hurts my lungs to breath it. (asthma)

    OK, last comment on the iPod rescue, and a bit of a confession. I WAS TERRIFIED!! I had no idea who these people were, what they would do, how they would react… I’m not the biggest person, so could I have defended myself if needed? Yes, I do know a few moves, but meant for escape, not to bring anyone down. My heart was beating out of control the whole time. Yep, I am a mouse! BUT it meant more to me to get that thing back for my baby than let my fear conquer me. Made me feel really good that I actually did it!

    Who was in “An Education”. It sounds familiar, I watch so many movies… not sure if I saw it or not.

    I too am to the point I want to exchange a few emails, talk on the phone a few times before meeting someone. Personalities come out, change, and can be quiet scary in short periods of time. I’ve dodged a few bullets myself recently… one pot I emailed 3 times then said I need a very submissive woman in the bedroom… so I asked him to define what that means to him… and I did not like his answer. I’m not into pain.

  284. Lily says:

    Good Morning Everyone!

    I’m having an intensive email/phone courtship with the travel/gift daddy that wrote that paragraph I paraphrased and pasted above. I’m being so stupid. I shouldn’t get all swept up in it, but he is pretty great so far. I’m trying to ‘hope for the best but expect the worst’ but…. *shrug*

    McPoofer has shown up on ‘most recent login’ searches but again ignores my correspondence. WHAT is he getting out of this?

    Handsome potSD wants to see me monday or wednesday….. HandsomeSD,, who I will now nickname Mr. Big because his personality is SO much like Chris Noth’s character on Sex and the City, just utterly smug, self-satisfied, boyish, playful, confident and sure of himself….. and totally sexy and charming all the while…. I had a great time with him at the spa last week but I think I just need to leave it alone. Either turn it into an arrangement or he leaves his girlfriend and dates me. And in that scenario probably also help out financially. But just being the stupid other woman doesn’t have much appeal. I keep saying this but I need to start following through.

  285. lil'SB says:

    LASB are you still on? I feel like chatting (even though it’s 4am in the morning…XD)…

  286. LASB says:

    Megs – You certainly dodged a bullet! I so know what you mean how these guys seem to be on their best behavior for all of 3 emails, and then it just tanks out of nowhere. It’s funny how they can’t fake nice and classy for very long. Of course, I have had them never be nice from email 1. (Eg, the guy who said I had no sense of humor and was old) Odd how I feel worse when someone is mean to me on the first email, but relieved when they are mean on the 4th.

  287. LASB says:

    lil’SB – I thought that was an awesome movie. I’m slow, so I wasn’t expecting the ending. Yes, sour indeed! I haven’t seen any of the bond movies, and I’m old. I just tend to watch, indie, foreign, and character study type movies and only watch Hollywood blockbusters when someone drags me to them.

    Lils – sorry about McPoofer. What a drag. I hope it’s not another 3 months before you get the coat. Maybe now he knows just to send the coat this time, despite poofing. What a knob! If he does end up writing you again, maybe get the coat back first before discussing the trip.

    I’m going to SF in the upcoming week. While I’m there I’m meeting a potSD who I chatted with a bit before learning that he’s a submissive. Nothing in his profile speaks of his submissive tendencies and nothing in mine mentions me being a Domme. Then out of the blue he offers to do my laundry. Funny how that works.

    ESB – You are superwoman! Yay for the Ipod rescue!

  288. lil'SB says:

    Oh Kiki, I can relate when I say I too have not seen very many of the bond movies (except the recent few that came out in the last 5-8 years), I suppose I have some catching up to do!

    Speaking of movies, the oscars are coming up. I’ve seen all the nominations, and there was one particular title that resonated very deeply with me. It’s called “An Education”, and it totally reminds me of sugar life, and it served as yet another reminder of how sugar can turn sour very quickly. Who else has seen that movie?

  289. Kiki- hang in there! There are men on this site who are looking for SBs, there are men on this site who are looking for escorts, there are men on this site who are looking for LTR- in short, if there’s a man on this site, he’s looking for something. Just spin the wheel.

  290. Kiki says:

    hello ladies and gents,
    hope you’re all having an excellent weekend!

    wonderland, i looked at your profile and i really like it! i think it’s the perfect mix of sugar and spice, if you know what i mean 😉

    esb, you remind me of my mom when i was growing up — she was very strong and always taught me to stand up for myself, sometimes just leading by example. when i was younger, i was embarassed by her – i didn’t like to draw attention to myself, but i’m glad that she instilled those values in me. bg is a very lucky girl :)

    in response to the blog q’s:
    i’ve had no recent sugar activity. i met a pot a few weeks ago for coffee, we had a great chat and were getting along really well, kissed at the end etc. so we e-mailed back and forth for a while and started to discuss an arrangement. he wanted to see me twice a week (we’d have to travel about an hour to see each other) and so i expressed that i’d appreciate a monthly allowance (for reasons we had talked about when we met… furthering my education etc). anyways, i gave a really reasonable amount and he immediately wrote back

    “i am not that ugly and definitely not that desperate”

    whaaaaa??? i send him a polite msg back saying that i didn’t think he fully grasped the concept of the SD/SB relationship and that perhaps he should try an escort service (i had to get my little dig in before i nexted him :S) anyway, since then i haven’t put as much effort into my search and took down my pic. i think i need to re-evaluate which direction my life is heading in.. and what i need to do to get there. profile overhaul!

    also, i may be showing my age and/or my lack of classic movie knowledge but i’ve never seen ANY bond movie…. ever! maybe i should have a bond marathon and catch up, haha.. sorry for the novel of a post, have a great night everyone :)

  291. Oh, and to TLG, crutches or a cane, I’ve had both are a fantastic way to get someone motivated! I agree!

  292. Hey Midwest!

    Lily, gosh thank you so much!

    I was telling a girlfriend tonight at another friend’s oscar party, that when I meet a guy who is just rude and crass IRL, when they deign to ask me what I do, I tell them that I design clothing for troll dolls. Not only does it stop them in their tracks, they leave me alone….lol. Try it sometime!

    Am seriously bummed about the POT I met this week. We had lunch, he was adorable, interesting and funny. It was all I could do, not to drag him under the table with my teeth. Don’t worry, I behaved myself. We had been having the most hilarious email exchanges, and talked on the phone twice before we met. And since we met, nothing.

    Sigh, sigh, sigh.

    I am sooo bummed!

  293. Midwest says:

    Evening (or morning) sugars!

    No bull for me tonight…take that as a good thing :-) I did get to dance to country, disco and rock in the span of 3 hours…I consider that a success!

    Megs – Block and next. You were honest and he took things for granted.

    Hi OC, Beach, TGG, TS and Lily. Gracious…TX is well represented.

    No sugar this weekend, but I’m enjoying myself regardless. Off to dreamland.

  294. TexasGolfGirl says:

    Hi Megs

    Don’t give it too much thought. There are just some people that are trying to get as much out of a woman with as little an investment as possible. You were smart to not travel to him for a first meeting! And you were nice enought to wish him luck. He was just one bad apple!

  295. Megs says:

    Hey all – been lurking. Can’t stay long – but had to get this out – so this potSD had been kind when he first started emailing, but wanted me to travel to him a lot… which I can’t do. And I would tell him this every time he would bring it up. Then the emails started getting more lewd. How he wanted to see me in certain lingerie items… yadda yadda… still hadn’t met the guy. Then he sent me an email that again, gave me dates and said “Sneak away and let me ravish you”. I wasn’t offended or anything, but I felt he should know I wasn’t comfortable flying to meet with him for the first time, and I’m not the kind of girl to have sex on the first day (yes – I’ve decided after the first one..never again). I told him that it seemed like he needed a woman who could travel to meet him, and since I couldn’t, I didn’t want to waste any more of his time and I hoped his search went well. He responded super rude and crass. I mean… c’mon – there was absolutely NO investment in me, and we never really had a ton of contact. It’s not like I was bruising his ego or anything. I’m glad I didn’t go anywhere with this guy. It would have been a distaster for sure.

  296. ESB says:

    Just dropped in for a few before going to bed. I’m loving the positive attitudes I’m reading on here… must have something to do with the weather changing for the better.

    Lily, LOVE the names you picked. The last 2 cats I’ve seen with those names were HUGE!! I’m talking 25-30 lb balls of fur. Lets hope you didnt curse them! :)

    Haven’t heard from either of my pots this weekend, but the one is married, and I’m begining to suspect the other is as well… but he mentioned his divorce, so who knows what is up with him. Time will tell…

    Lisa: I’m hoping to find a SD to help me with my rent for a few months, You really got lucky!! My room mate had a date last night and he STILL isn’t home… I’m so happy for him.. but I’m thinking this means my time is running out. He’s going to want his privacy back, kinda hard to have an intimate relationshio with a 15 YO living in the room next to yours. YIKES!!

    I’m looking for a nice place. My son is pushing me to find something so he can come hang out with me more. (Im living 30 miles away from him now) What is out there I can’t afford, what I can afford, I don’t want to live in. I’m not giving up hope though. When I do get my SD, I have to pay off my parents… going to tell mom I bought a scratch off and won!! At least I got THAT part figured out!! She would disown me if she knew the truth!

  297. Beach_Girl says:

    OC~ Girl, I know … next time you better keep a night open for me! 😀
    I will probably be back at the end of summer… hopefully

  298. TexasSugah says:

    Jade – your post reminds me.. I was on another website, regular women’s forum, and someone asked about SA. Another poster put a warning on there that she knows guy who uses SA for sex.

    According to the poster, her friend sends emails and then takes them to a nice restaurant. Easy sex. So be cautious, ya’ll.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Happy Saturday Sugars!!!
      Lisa it is great to hear you and Percy are all moved in.
      TexasGolfGirl nice to see you again 😉
      TexasSugarh you have so many Texas SB Sisters in your state!
      Beach I am so sorry I wasn’t able to see you while you were out in LA.

      I have been traveling this week for work and LOVE being back in the US of A…
      BTW the original BOND is the sexiest man alive 😉 ahhh except for my Sugar!!! Ooopsie
      Have a great night everyone! I am going to venture out in rain for a cocktail and some girl time :)

  299. TexasSugah says:

    Yaz- yeah you’re right.. I’m very impatient. I want a LV, like now! The last time I had a “sugardaddy” actually a boyfriend with $ he was awesome. So… since the divorce I want that back. LOL

    NYC – Wow a trip with your friends?? that’s fantastic!

    Lisa – I think I missed the whole murder part of the thread.

    I’m waiting on a regular joe date. Can’t complain.. he’s sweet.

  300. TexasGolfGirl says:

    Hi TLG!

    I’m attempting to have a chill night at home. But it’s a friends bday, and they will kill me if I don’t make an appearance! So much for that!

    Any one have a great sugar date/meeting recently? Coming up? Would love to hear how they went!

  301. Lisa on the good side of the freeway says:

    there have only been 2 murders here in the past 20 years. An elderly lady killed her husband and mother back in 89 and a few years ago a Indian woman killed her boyfriend. Both were personal things that could happen anywhere, nothing random.

    Oh my former boss got out of jail yesterday! She got 5 years probation but has to stay away from her husband and kids. I can’t believe she’s free. she came by the store yesterday but I was off so I missed her.

  302. Lisa on the good side of the freeway says:

    Hope to get into routine soon, still feel like i’m on vacation, well except for having to get up in the morning to go to work.

  303. kitty says:

    Omg just listened to T.I. Whatever you like and came with an epiphany! I dun want a sd to give me whatever I like, go where I want. The most important thing I am looking for is the opportunity to become what I want to be more than anything…. A successful businesswoman. Ok off to the gym I go for now. Focused and locked down!

  304. Beach_Girl says:

    Lisa~ It’s great that you got to move to a better and safer place!
    I’m sure you will get use to it in no time!

  305. Lisa: Welcome to a better life.


  306. Lisa on the good side of the freeway says:

    Good evening everyone

    wow what a quiet saturday night here, no one drinking in the parking lot, etc.
    Hope to feel more at home this next week, still in a daze from the past weeks activities.

  307. Beach_Girl says:

    TLG~ LOL, i’m sure your crutches did help a lot to inspire them lol…

  308. Beach_Girl:

    Have crutches, will hobble!

    If you get enough paid manpower, it’s amazing what you can do.

    Plus, a crutch is pretty formidible when applied judiciously to inspire someone to do what is required of them.


  309. Beach_Girl says:

    Hi everyone!
    Hope you are all having a great Saturday!
    I had to work all day but the sun was out! So, it was a great day!

    TLG~ OMG, how can you move someone??? or did the mover do everything and you supervised sitting down?

  310. Hi TGG!

    What’s happening in your portion of the Lone Star State?


  311. TexasGolfGirl says:

    Hi Lily,

    I say “Hope for the best, expect the worst.” That way you won’t be too dissapointed if it doesn’t work out. The sugar world is flaky like that, lol. Good luck!

  312. Lily says:

    On the flip side, I’ve had a potSD who has been emailing with me for several weeks now, daily. Three phone calls, the latest of which lasted for 2 hours. He has snapped maybe 6 photos with his phone and sent me, and his looks take my breath away–he’s insanely my type. He’s married.

    I told him several times while we’ve been corresponding that I’m sort of waiting to see when he will ‘poof’ (in a humorous way), and explained the plethora of poofers on SA. He today responded by saying somethin like (I paraphrased):

    What can I do to quiet your skepticism? I wish we could meet this week, so you would understand my determination to meet you. I’ve sent you more notes and e-mails than any other lady I had contact with. In fact, I ended my search as I believe that I found what I was looking for. I want bubbly companionship… the combination of good conversation, a few shared interests, and physical attraction. And although things are designed ‘to be on the side’ when you are with me, you will never feel that you are a side act. I will also respond to every e-mail and communications request with the same passion as I feel now. Respect and element of friendship are always part of the deal.

    I think my eyes nearly teared up. If he is not the real deal, then don’t pinch me, because I don’t want to wake up. Gosh, this man certainly talks the talk of the perfect married SD. And looks the part of a dream lover. And our conversations about all things under the sun feel like there’s possibility for true friendship.

    This guy could be it, the extraordinary arrangement that would swoop in and re-align my sugar life. 10 years older than me and a Hottie McHotterson. I won’t get my hopes up until after we meet, and even then try to keep things very casual in my head and not get my hopes up that it will be an ongoing affair, but…. sigh. He certainly wrote me the best paragraph I’ve ever read from a potSD with that one. If this one poofs, I’m gonna stomp my foot so hard and throw a little princess tantrum here and scream into my pillow and try not to freak out my kittens.

  313. “Do some men have an addiction to poofing? Like, it helps them to feel like one day they’ll also be able to evade death?”

    Nah. Evading death is easy–I normally do it on a weekly basis when not recuperating from my adventures.

    Poofing, however, requires a certain amount of chutzpah and nerve to pull off.

    TLG :)

  314. Midwest says:

    NYC – How sweet! You must be doing something right :-)

    OK music buffs…who sings above lyric?

  315. Lily says:

    I did something stupid. Gave away what tiny little bit of power I had in this situation.

    Guy with the red coat came back to earth, emailed me his heartfelt desire to do better by me, and then I pushed for an immediate meet, since that’s what he wanted, and suggested dates. He replied that he’d be out of town those dates and I gave him new ones. No response. It’s been a week almost now. I finally just called his cell phone tonight, and no answer. Pathetically, I left a voicemail telling him that I thought it would have been an okay time to talk (saturday evening, I happened to be up late enough to talk to him during his evening hours, what with my crazy time difference) but hoped that anyway he was having a great weekend and perhaps we’ll catch up at some point.

    Sigh. He’s poofed again, ladies.

    Do some men have an addiction to poofing? Like, it helps them to feel like one day they’ll also be able to evade death?

  316. Lily says:

    That is so amazing. wow, what a great SD you have!

  317. NYC-22 says:

    Do you have any plans for the weekend? Does anyone have a Spring Break arrangement in the works?

    Welllll…. I casually mentioned to my SD that I’ll be shopping in nyc for my Spring Break vaca, and he surprised me by arranging for me to stay in the COOLEST hotel with my friends AND covered my shopping expenses! I feel ultra ultra pampered.

  318. Lily says:

    I would be happy to email with you off the blog about it. I just helped out a male sugar baby last week with ideas for his profile. Write to me by clicking on my name, going to my own blog, and emailing me through there, if you’d like to hear the general ideas I have.

  319. MALE_Sugar_Baby says:

    Hello, folks…… I have been away for awhile; so, let me pose a question that I have before — namely, how does a male sugar baby find a sugar mommy?

  320. Lily says:

    Carp is Lily’s new hero.

    I LOVE that. If you want an escort, get one. Don’t trifle me with your bad social behavior.

    Sigh. My new blog lust, the eloquent Carp.

  321. Midwest says:

    Yaz- I second Flo Rida on Coconut Grove! The beach may just be too cold and windy to really enjoy right now. If you can find a beautiful window seat in some high rise on the beach, enjoy your cocktails there!

    NYland – I think she is seeking reassurance that YOU like her body. Give her a kiss and tell her you love her body just as it is. Say it again the next day too…it’s no effort and she will appreciate the compliment.

    Flo Rida – I couldn’t fake it if I tried…acting was never my forte’.

    Wonderland – It took me 3 mos to find an amazing sd. It has taken some days and others several months. I agree with adding your l/t arrangement in the profile so men understand you are genuine. I liked your profile btw.

    CC – Hi! Glad to see you back!

  322. Whatever happened to Michael Keaton anyway? Damn fine actor. Same with Val Kilmer. Although I saw Kilmer recently and couldn’t believe my eyes…..scary.

    Ah well.

    About the men who are looking for casual sex, they ought to bluntly state it in their profile and that way they’d have an easier time acquiring what they wanted, and we’d (I mean SBs) would have an easier time deciding.

    I do know that there are men here who think we’re all escorts. I recently got an email from one whose profile made him sound smart and urbane. His email to me “let me take you out to dinner and recompense you for your time.”

    My thoughts- if you want an escort, get one. And don’t trifle me with your bad social behavior.

  323. Lily says:

    Michael Keaton was pretty good with Batman. Or maybe he just had good chemistry with Kim Basinger. And a great mouth. As did Val. Gotta have a great, sexy as hell mouth for that role.

  324. Lily says:

    They’re Simba and Leo

  325. SDinATX says:

    Bond… to those that actually read the stories, Lazenby was the actor who most resembled Bond. Brosnan was good at the tux thing. Connery however was the best, likely because of the 6 he is the best actor of the bunch. I think Brosnan had a shot of being the best, but he had some of the worst scripts to go with. If he had Casino Royale we might think differently of him.

    cleo, ok I have to ask… why is Michael Keaton a better Batman? The guy is like 5’8! Val Kilmer may have been the best, but like Brosnan he had horrible scripts to deal with.

  326. Cat says:

    I want more info about the Toronto meet! :)

    Who’s going??

  327. ESB says:

    Just knowing these ladies have a place to go makes me happy. It’ll be fun planning the gala’s where we all get dressed up, and I have a few idea’s of celebs to invite to speak. Just gotta find the connections to get them there! That is where networking does wonders for me… I got connections 😉

  328. ESB says:

    Lily, did you ever mention the names of these new prizes of yours?

  329. midwest says:

    ESB- You will be greatly rewarded!!

  330. Lily says:

    Hello all,
    It’s late at night and my potSD date went alright. I just don’t think he’s going to be the breathtaking arrangement I’m looking for. But I liked him. Who knows, maybe I’m wrong. He has a great personality, very intelligent and funny, and we didn’t discuss anything about a hypothetical arrangement, so maybe he’ll surprise me.

    I get to hang with zazazoomSD tomorrow. Yay!

    Kitties in lap. Purrrrrr……

  331. ESB says:

    Midwest: HELLOW!! Funny you should mention that… I just got nominated to a board for a battered womans shelter. It’s a safe haven for them and their children to go to. I’m gonna love this. I have all kinds of idea’s, will welcome any more you want to share, and look forward to doing this for how ever long I can.

  332. midwest says:

    ESB- have you ever considered fundraising for children?

  333. midwest says:

    Hi sugars! Quick post between spending the day in downtown Chicago and an evening if mechanical bull riding (or wtcdhing). I’ll try anything once 😉

    ATX- welcome back! Sorry about the break, but I’m glad it was amicable. James and I had a similar situation.

    SDN- the blog wife signal was a failed attempt at Batman humor. I thought it was funny that after your long absence, it took LASB appeared 5 mins later :-)

    Favorite 007 – Sean Connery. I loved Pierce Brosnan in a non-007 role in The Thomas Crown Affair.

    Stephan – its an honor just to be quoted!! Love the pictures!

  334. ESB says:

    lil’SB: I know, right? I mean, if they are real SDs they would have better manors, I’d think. I had one a week or so ago, we conected on so many levels, then just nothing. I tried to messenger him, and he wouldn’t respond, when I KNOW he was on. How rude!! I just don’t get the poofing. Be a man for goodness sake. If you found someone else, man up to it, tell me I said something you didn’t like, don’t just disappear on me!! Geesh!!

  335. lil'SB says:

    Funny, it’s not the outright rejections that I can’t handle, it’s the poofing without even so much as an acknowledgement that I really don’t like. Strange huh?

  336. ESB says:

    My phone is blowing up. All BGs friends (the one’s who bought it for her anyway) are thanking me for getting it back, and telling me to press charges!!

    cleo: Aww.. I’m sorry babe. That WAS mean. I’m waiting for one to tell me I’m to old to be a sugar baby!! “Ahh, kiss off!!” :)

    I agree, Val was a great Bruce Wayne. Gawd he’s sexy. Bronsnan is to much of a pretty boy to be that tough (007). Agreed.

  337. Wonderland says:

    Cleo: Fixed it!!!! Thanks for all the tips everyone hopefully will have an SD in no time!

    ps: have had the same experience a few times. it bothered me in the beginning of the sugar hunt but rejection is part of it and i know that the guy who rejected me will find what he’s looking for as will i; except i think the guy who finds me will have 10x more fun that the other guy LOL xx

  338. ESB says:

    LOL I love the way you word things. Yes, I will know how to deal with the fakes from now on. Send them to porn sight. Hopefully one that will down load a virus for them!! :)

  339. cleo says:

    haven’t seen all the bonds but love the interpretations done by connery and craig the most. brosnan inhabited the character better than anyone but it was hard to imagine him as that guy who is so tough that nothing can stop him.

    actually that’s the same feeling i have toward moore’s interpretation.

    i think it’s sort of like with batman
    micheal keaton was the best batman
    val kilmer was the best bruce wayne

  340. cleo says:

    wonderland i love your bookworms comment, awesome

    but it’s hence not hints. :)
    esb: ^5 and nicely done milady!
    i messaged a man on another dating site and he emailed me back “no thanks, i’m looking for someone i can by physically attracted to as well”

    i mean WHAT?

    okay i’m not everyone’s cup of tea, if you’re looking for michelle pfeiffer you probably don’t think carrie anne moss is hot but STILL fer crying out loud there’s no call to be MEAN about it!

    and while i’m ranting?

    please don’t say “we’ll have to do it again soon” when what you mean is “thanks but no thanks”

  341. Wonderland says:

    ESB: Way to be a good mum and get the ipod back! If someone knicked mine out of my bag, I’d be gutted because I’d never see it again.

    And for the “faux SD situation” at least the positive thing that came from it is you are wiser and more reluctant. These guys are VERY VERY slick, like i said before mentioning they are “new’ to the site blah blah blah. I’m not saying everyone that has been a long time patron is automatically a faux SD but when/if you come across one again at least you can tell him to sod off.

  342. ESB says:

    Hello AGAIN!! to all my sugar family. I am now caught up, shew!!

    The iPod is in my purse, I will return it to BG on my way to my friends house later. The “thief” YELLED at me, said I was lying, she never bragged about stealing it because she didn’t steal it, a friend gave it to her to borrow!! Well, one of the girls who bought it for BG overheard her say “I took it from this girls purse.” Whatever, I got it back!!

    Wonderland, in an act of desperation, I fell prey to one of “those” types of Faux SDs. I have learned my lesson, and will from now on listen to my instincts, and be more discerning!

    TLG: I have no doubt that when you can resume normal activities, you will be better than ever 😉

    CarpathianCutie: I am normally a big time mouse. You do something to hurt one of my kids, it brings out the tiger in me RAWR!!

  343. Wonderland says:

    Jade: That’s a shame, because I know that the sex gets better as the relationship grows stronger. I’d be rubbish as a one off kind of girl like a lot of women on the blog who seem to be mature and great girls. I can’t see anyone I read about participating in that and hopefully the girls who do read this and don’t write won’t fall prey to these type’s of Faux SDs

  344. CarpathianCutie:

    If only. Official medical word this week is that I have three more months to go before I might be able to resume normal activities.

    Try entertaining even the remotest thought of doing Sugar Duty under those conditions.


  345. TLG- thanks for the insite. I can only assume that you injured yourself “in the line of duty.” LOL!

  346. CarpathianCutie says:/b>

    ..I am seeing premium members who, by the looks of it, have been here quite awhile and they’re still looking. Boggles the mind.

    Please allow me to point out that I have been a paid member here for a while, and my profile stays up because of SB rotation. As one leaves, another pot is needed to replace her on the bench, so to speak.

    I believe it is the same for some SBs as well as arrangements end, and new ones need be made. Perhaps that is what you are seeing?

    I’ve never hidden that I have more than one SB, though I will admit to being currently SB-less by choice and later chance (due to my physical condition). I expect this to change once I am again totally mobile and (literally) standing on my feet.


  347. Jade says:

    Wonderland – Many guys have been on here for years just using it as a casual sex dating site and not so much looking for anything other than one time dates.

  348. Wonderland says:

    Carpathian: Tell me about it. I mean I joined in April 2009 two days after that found an SD, and deleted my profile a day after. A LOT of the men who messaged me this time around messaged me almost a year ago. Granted they might have found someone but if you look at the profile numbers some have been on here for YEARS AND YEARS. It’s us SBs that comes and goes (and hopefully I’ll be going soon). I did speak to a guy who lied through his teeth when he said he was “new” at this (profile said member since 2007). Riiiiight

  349. ESB- you are an amazing woman and a fantastic mom. You go!!

    LilSB and Wonderland- when I get an initial email that states they just want a photo- I’m not thrilled. It’s rare that I’ll just send them out.

    What I do find fascinating is the number of men who pay for membership here and have never found an SB. Are they wasting money to collect photos to jerk off to? Inquiring minds want to know!

    Truthfully, I created my profile awhile back and after a few skeevy emails hid it. I didn’t reactivate myself until September, I think. And I am seeing premium members who, by the looks of it, have been here quite awhile and they’re still looking. Boggles the mind.

  350. ESB says:

    OK, if you all caught the drama of my daughter’s iPod being stolen, there is about to be a happy ending… I found out what street the “theif” lives on, so I knocked on some doors to find out which house was hers (Yes, I really did!!) I found someone who knew, told me which house was hers, talked to her little sister, who gave me her mom’s #, talked to mom, who is at this moment bringing me the iPod!! YEAH!!

    I was trying to catch up on the blog, but need to run to meet this woman. Will catch up when I get back!! I love that I am my daughter’s hero right now!!

  351. Wonderland says:

    CarpathianCutie: I definitely agree with you on that, and I feel a little bit like I’m playing roulette but I just wanted to see if it would increase my chances of finding the right guy. Will take them down probably end of next week and put up something more discreet.

  352. lil’SB:

    That would be correct. If an SD spends any amount of time in the Sugar World, he will understand this innately. If he does not, he will not lasyt long here.


  353. Like many of us, I’m with the school of thought: “discretion is the better part of valor,” and will NOT have a face shot.

    If you ask me pretty please after a couple of emails, I’ll send you one.

    Not before then.

  354. lil'SB says:

    So…I guess that would mean full or non-full face pictures don’t really matter then. Thanks for your help.

  355. My vote would go towards a face shot.


    ..having said that, there’s also the need for discretion that must be recognized for both SBs and SDs who may not wish to be recognized and keep their Sugar search private from the rest of the world.


  356. Wonderland says:

    Lil S’B: I’m not sure. I had a censored photo up the first week of upon my return to SA, and just added a face pic about two days ago. I’m not sure if the surge of messages I got spiked or not, I think it maybe four or five more messages came through. And thanks for taking a peek.

  357. lil'SB says:

    Oh yes, my question was also prompted because I’m also like Carpathian and have headless photos on my profile…so I was wondering if that had any influence in my success rate…

  358. lil'SB says:

    Wonderland I really like your profile, but it makes me wonder: Are profiles with full face pictures more likely to get an SD to send the first message than profiles without face shots (or half face shots/censored face shots)?

  359. For my profile, I decided to keep it relatively short and upbeat. No one can resist a smile.

  360. Wonderland says:

    Yeah I’ve edited it about 3 times now………. I did shorten it a bit and I hope that that will make it a bit easier to read. I wasn’t quite sure what to say in the box that wasn’t, “Hi I like to be treated like the queen I know I am and just LOVE fine dining.” I don’t even have a queen mattress let alone can refer to myself as a deity and fine dining is relative…..

  361. well, I am, but no one seemed to notice! Hmmph!

  362. Any one else here–or is everyone enjoying their Saturday afternoon away from the Blog?


  363. The Lone Gunman says:


    Glad to help! Be aware that once you change an aspect of your profile, it goes through the approval process all over again and cannot be seen until approved.


  364. Wonderland says:

    Lone Gunman: Will scale the main section back a bit and thanks for taking a look :) xx

  365. The Lone Gunman says:


    Have looked at your profile and while I like it, I suspect that many will find the first section a bit too wirdy. I would drop the CV remark and go with simple statements like you did in the ‘what you are seeking’ second section. Hold back some info, like your language skills, which can be a delightful discovery between you and a pot SD.

    FWIW, if I lived in the UK, I would SO have messaged you by now….


  366. Wonderland says:

    Okay have done so. Any feedback is appreciated. I really really want to find the right guy for myself xx

  367. Hey all! I’ve been crazy busy and haven’t had the time to write or even read.

    As for James Bond- Sean Connery just keeps getting better and better with age-he’s like 190 and still smokin’ hot! Daniel Craig is very nice to look at.

    I met a POT this week for lunch. Very intelligent and extremely sexy-inspired many dirty thoughts on my part. Sadly, have not heard from him since that lunch…sniff..sniff.

    I have gotten emails from a few other gentlemen, but the one I met for lunch…whoa!

  368. NC Gent says:

    You can post your profile number here or you can put it as a link on the website line of the posting info.

  369. Wonderland says:

    NC Gent- I might do just that, thanks for the feedback.
    I’d like to give out my profile number to some of the SDs for feedback is their a discreet way of doing this?

  370. NC Gent says:

    Hi Wonderland – I got really lucky and found my first SB the first day I was half looking. I have had two SBs since (including my current) and it took me six months to find those. SDinATX is right that it is an SDs “buyers market” but I found at least half the profiles to be completely undesirable (obviously escorts or princess varieties). If you put in your profile that you have had a successful long term sugar relationship in the past, I think that will catch more SD’s attention. A lot of potential SBs are not that serious about committing to sugar relationships — best wishes and hang in there :)

  371. Wonderland says:

    Thank you for the responses.

    Flo Rida- I’d probably fail miserably haha.

    SDinATX-I am picky as well and have recieved lots of messages, but still waiting for the right guy to come along. I’m sure he is worth the wait though…..

  372. cleo says:

    okay i read a bit but i’m running out
    NYLand email me at torontosugarmeet at gmail dot com and i’ll give you some solid self asteem advice i’ve developed. not publishing it here, it’s a page and a half long

  373. cleo says:

    any sb/d’s interested in attending the toronto meet please email

    before monday at noon with your date requests or i am in fact picking a day and moving forward with an estrogen fest. ;>
    not here – just wanted to mention that. anyone who might come or is chatting in email with bloggers do tell them the times you like. resto suggestions welcome also, just not on the blog :)

  374. Flo Rida says:

    Wonderland – go to Malone’s in Shanghai and see the 50 chinese women oohing & ahing at each male western expat and that’s how it is on this site. I challenge any girl who thinks she’s hot to pick up an expat in Malone’s. Bear in mind I haven’t been to Shanghai for 2 years so the ‘new’ bar-club-lounge might have changed. i’ve been told it takes time on this site.

  375. SDinATX says:

    Wonderland, SBs out number SD profiles here 10 to 1. Then throw in the sad fact that of those SDs many aren’t “real” and you have what I’d like to call a “buyers market” and the truth is it’s not as easy for you as it is for me to get a new SB. I took about 4 weeks last time and I was very picky.

    You don’t understand how many girls we run into who think they “deserve” our money. The number of girls we meet that have that entitlement attitude makes us send form letters. I myself just dipped back into the pool, and I’ve got a few potentials already set up. That is 1 day after dipping back in. However, I’m picky. So I have no real expectation of meeting my future SB right away.

    However, when we do find the right young lady, we generally scoop them up rather quickly.

  376. SDinATX says:

    NYLand, I suggest using humor. “Well, I didn’t want to say anything…” she probably has people telling her how hot she is all the time.

  377. Wonderland says:

    Dear Bloggers,

    Have been a lurker for a while now, and am hoping I’ve come to the right place to get some advice. I joined SA in Spring of 2009 and during the first TWO days of my search met a man who stayed my SD till about November 2009 in which we mutually and amiably parted ways (still email and skype on occassion) I decided to dip my hand back into the sugar bowl and about two and half weeks ago created a brand new profile. I have recieved what appear to be form letters that get sent to every girl and have recieved some nice messages from a few gentlemen but just not what I was looking for. Was I a “one hit wonder?” by getting lucky finding an SD the first time around in two days? How long does it take to find the right guy on average for anyone in an SD relationship now……….

  378. Flo Rida says:

    AdrianneSB – yes I can BUT if I released my information into a public forum the poofers would know our counter intelligence and devise counter measures to our counter measures, if you know what I mean. Maybe us gals should formulate answers off line. Joking!

  379. newlatinSB(F) says:

    I think it’s sweet that you care enough about your SB insecurities to try and figure out a solution. Sometimes there is no solution. Maybe she just likes the extra attention/reassurance that you give her when she complains. Kinda like when kids say, “you don’t love me!” Only because they want you to keep reassuring them that u do.
    Just keep doing what you’re doing. That’s about all u can do and it seems to be working.

    Have a great weekend everyone! I’m new to this site and my profile just got approved today! yay

  380. AdrianeSB says:

    FloRida, oooh can you teach me how to spot a wannabeSD and poofer? ;D

  381. Yaz,,,,still at work says:

    Flo~ Awesome! Thanks!

    I have to go now. One of my coworkers is walking around being her nosy self again lol

  382. Flo Rida says:

    Yaz – walk up and down South Beach & you’ll see it change character every 75feet. Don’t go to Joe’s (?) stone crab unless you want to pay for overpriced crab-lobster – Martha’s Vineyard lobster in season much cheaper.

    Adrianne – as a trained spy (kidding) I think I can fake anything!

  383. Oh, Flo, I wasn’t upset anyway even thinking you were referring to me. I just remembered sharing a story a while back (when I was a new blogger here) the difficulty I had with rushed intimacy and just wanted to better explain my stance. (You know, since I know all of you better now.)

    I’m sure you wear those 4 pounds well. :)

    Ok, I am REALLY leaving now.

    Have a great day, everyone.


    PS – I owned the karaoke bar last night. Hilarity ensued.

  384. AdrianeSB says:

    FloRida, faking the O is sometimes just a necessity 😀 oh naughty me… but faking interest and attraction is just silly, IMHO, I couldn’t do it either, for very long anyway, and it would just leave a bad taste to my own mouth.

    On another note, just e-mailed with two new pots, which is a good thing as the pots from earlier this week have disappeared…

  385. Yaz,,,,still at work says:

    Texas Sugah~ Everyone has their preferences and in the sugar world you are sure to find someone ( black, white, or asian) to like you just the way you are :-)
    Patience is key!

  386. Yaz,,,,still at work says:

    I will sure be checking out hot guys at the beach hehehe 😀

  387. Yaz,,,,still at work says:

    Flo~ Wow! Thanks! I can only get four days off but if I do get them I will make sure to make the most of them lol I wont have another vacation for a loooooong time.

  388. Flo Rida says:

    Yaz – a lot of eye candy in Miami (for both sexes) but it’s still not that warm there (by Miami standards). I like Coconut Grove as it’s lower key than Ocean Drive – South Beach. There’s an outstanding restaurant in South Beach – I think Mi Casa or El Tua – can’t remember the name. I heard Yuma (?) at new Epic hotel (Downtown) was good but others say it has had problems. i’ve been doing free yoga downtown outside the Intercontinental – Tuesdays and Thursdays! Enjoy

  389. TexasSugah says:

    HI all..

    I’ve missd out again. Remember that pot SD.. well.. didn’t work out. There’s no attraction at all.

    I’m talking to several others. I just had one contact me who loves “thick” women. LOL.. ok whatever.

    I’ve found that there’s more attraction between me and SDs who are black although I’ve never dated a black man, yes I’m black.. long story.

    I’ve found that white SDs don’t like my shape.. I have a small butt for a black woman but too much for white guys I guess.. .. I guess you get in where you fit in.

    As to the Bond question.. I love Pierce..

    As to Sprng Break.. I really want to do something but I don’t know. I doubt that I’ll be able to pull off a meet that fast.


  390. Flo Rida says:

    NYland – Most women are insecure – i’m still 4lbs overweight and do I think about it – YES pretty much all the time. Do I need reassurance – YES and I like to think of myself as confident & beautiful. Yes she needs verbal reassurance but actions speak louder than words – she needs more & more romance – yes gifts help – caring actions etc. Don’t try & understand it just do it.

    Shoogar – no I wasn’t referring to you, sorry if you thought I was. Yes sugar moves quickly – in both directions. Enjoy the mojitos. PS i’ll email you Sun offline.

    AdrianneSB – if I wanted to (for reasons that I won’t go into) I really think I could fake it – I would hate myself for doing so though – I would definitely cross a line (but I won’t judge).

  391. Yaz,,,,still at work says:

    Thank you Shoogar Shoes!

    So sick of staring at spreadsheets. I cant wait to get out of work and go home lol. Im very excited because I might be able to go to Miami with my friends after all!! My boss will give me a definite answer next week about whether or not she can approve the days I requested off. Crossing my fingers!
    I’ve never been to Miami. Yay! Spring Break! :-) lol

  392. Fabulous avatar, Yaz! Lovely.

  393. Hi NYLand,

    I never understand why some of the most beautiful women have insecurity issues. I feel the problems are generally deep rooted and need to be resolved in order to fully gain self-confidence. Until she reaches that on her own, pretty much all you can do is continue complimenting her and reassuring her how sexy you think she is.

    The connection here is slow as pond water. Geesh.

    Have to go now. Mojitos and shrimp cocktails calling my name…

  394. Yaz,,,,still at work says:

    Yes Shoogar Shoes, you were MIA for the last couple of days. I missed your posts! :-)

  395. Yaz,,,,still at work says:

    Pierce Brosnan hummmmmmm :-)

  396. Wow. I have missed a lot in the past few days. Been traveling and just oh so busy. Lots of umbrella adorned drinks though, so not complaining.

    SincereSD – Saw your comment about beating me in music trivia. I call a re-challenge when I’m back at my desk and able to play fairly. 😉

    SSSD – I will gladly help coordinate a meet at another time.

    Flo – as far as the “faking” of attraction. You could have possibly been referring to me as being one of those ‘prominent’ bloggers? I don’t really think I feigned attraction (as that is something very difficult to do), but I certainly had to shift gears and go into a territory that was unknown to me and make rapid emotional/physical decisions. I was uncomfortable with how rushed the expectation for intimacy was, but I made the decision to readjust my way of thinking. I am someone who generally needs things to happen organically. In SD/SB relationships, there doesn’t seem to be enough time for ‘courting’, which helps to build attraction. (Well, at least for me because I am not someone who is only attracted to physical features – I MUST be intellectually stimulated as well or it just won’t work.) The rushed aspect was an area that was initially difficult for me. So, it wasn’t that I “faked” the attraction. I just had to mentally speed things up, which was out of my normal character and ultimately made me feel very uncomfortable in the end.

    I’m off to enjoy a mojito by the pool now…

  397. NYland says:

    Hello all.

    Hopefully I have some plans next weekend with that special SB, maybe…we will see.

    Can one of you sugars answer me a question? My SB is beautiful. People always think she is some model and tell her she looks like this model or another. When I am with her she complains about her body :( Too fat, butt too big, boobs not right etc… Basically I cant keep my hands off of her, she is incredibly sexy. I dont know what to say when she makes these comments. Do I say,”yes you are fat!!! Wow what a big butt! ha ha. I usually say, I think you are beautiful and sexy, or women are supposed to have a tiny bit of fullness “there” or something like that. Soooo all you SBs out there, what do I say to make her feel comfortable or to make her feel like the beautiful sexy girl she really is?



  398. Flo Rida says:

    AdrianneSB – i’ve never faked it, BUT if I did he wouldn’t know – kidding!!! It must happen though.

    James.m – I’m a former collegiate athlete – i’m not naming the sport (not a swimmer) the coaches don’t care about the sex they care that you only get 4 hours sleep because of s-x or chasing for s-x (males not women) and lack of sleep DOES impact performance.

  399. James.M says:

    Hi AA. I’m glad to hear you’re having such a good time with your SD!

  400. Alluring Anna says:

    Hi TLG! Don’t hobble too fast! 😉

  401. Alluring Anna says:

    Hi James.M! Nice to see you :)

  402. The Lone Gunman says:

    Woot! Movers are here….gotta hobble.


  403. The Lone Gunman says:

    Diana Rigg: Ah, The Avengers…

    Emma Peel.

    M Appeal

    Those Brits sure were subtle back in the day, eh?


  404. James.M says:

    Flo – just trying to bring a little levity to the blog, not cattiness.

    Yes, I know several Olympic athletes, and many professional athletes. That sort of comes with the territory when you spend a couple of years with a big league baseball team. I play golf a couple of times a month with several ex- college and professional football players. But I’m not overwhelmed by them, or star struck.

    I also remember Dawn Fraser, the great Australian swimmer who was kicked out of the Olympics because she was caught sneaking into the men’s quarters the night before a race. Her rationale: “I swim better after I’ve gotten laid.”

    And Rudolph Nureyev used to slip out during intermission for sex, though not with the ballerinas.

    Bond: Sean Connery. He’s just gotten better and better.

    Second best everything: Pierce Brosnan. He’s also the second best Thomas Crown, just as Rene Russo runs second to Faye Dunaway.

    Bond Girl: who would want one of those bimbos for more than a date or two; give me our blog (and real) SBs any day. Although I do seem to remember a poster of Ursala Andress…

    Diana Rigg: Ah, The Avengers…

  405. FL-SD says:

    Flo – I have suspected attraction was faked at one time….
    It was a deal killer… Honesty is most important for me…

  406. AdrianeSB says:

    Flo Rida: did you fake it & do you think he believes it?

    I just couldn’t fake anything, I need to feel the attraction to be intimate or just to spend time together. What’s the point otherwise..

  407. The Lone Gunman says:

    So question to the SDs – have you suspected (or asked) SBs if she was faking attraction during s-x, or did you just know and didn’t ask or didn’t care?

    I’ve never known. I prefer to believe that the attraction is mutually satisfactory, and have never had any indication otherwise.


  408. Alluring Anna says:

    I’m very attracted to my SD, he makes me feel all tingly 😉

    To answer Flo’s question; I’ve never faked attraction.

  409. Flo Rida says:

    SDN (i think) – the blog wife signal is ‘I can’t talk right now, can I call you back tomorrow at 9am’ or some other pre-agreed code.

    i’m afraid Jason Bourne is much better than James Bond (sorry Bond lovers). My favorite Bond girl was Denise Richards – you too can be a PHD nuclear physicist at the age of 26 and smoking hot in real life and not just Bond movies.

    One of my friends did somethin truly amazing and truly altruistic last week, i’m so proud of him. I do hate the girl that he’s with but that’s another matter.

    James.m forgive me but you’ve never spoken to an Olympic athlete? After their event they have sex like rabbits – imagine not having sex for ages and living like a monk for 4 years, they go crazy, swimmers screw around the most after a swim meet, probably even more than NBA stars, not for the prurient or faint hearted.

    I now know why the sugar life is so hard on everyone (remember my age gap is 9 years & SD is rich and generous) it’s so hard to fake attraction, especially for ‘that which must not be named’.

    So question to the SDs – have you suspected (or asked) SBs if she was faking attraction during s-x, or did you just know and didn’t ask or didn’t care?

    Question to the SBs – did you fake it & do you think he believes it?

    I know ‘prominent’ SB bloggers have said they had faked it & realized their mistake, I won’t judge – we’re all human. Btw the most famous NY escort before Jacqueline Dupre (can’t remember her name) said before she would meet a client for the first time ‘I’m about to meet my long term boyfriend whom I haven’t seen for a long time & i’m crazy about him’ 7 times before opening the door (notice I didn’t say before knocking on the door).

    still recovering, but feeling better.
    ciao peeps x

  410. The Lone Gunman says:

    Waiting for some movers to show up. I’m relocating an elderly relative to a retirement home today.


  411. Beach_Girl says:

    TLG~ Yes, all good here! Working all weekend though :(
    How are you this morning?

  412. The Lone Gunman says:

    Good morning Beach_Girl!

    Settled back in after your trip?


  413. Beach_Girl says:

    Good morning Sugars!

    To answer the Question:

    Do you have any plans for the weekend? Does anyone have a Spring Break arrangement?
    Nope, I am working and like Kitty said there is no Spring Break in the working world!
    SBs- who is your favorite Bond?
    Sean Connery and Peirce Brosnan

  414. The Lone Gunman says:

    SDs – who is your favorite Bond Girl?

    Diana Rigg. She was the perfect match for Bond as he was portrayed by George Lazenby–played her character just as you would have imagined it.


  415. The Lone Gunman says:

    You’re very welcome, Kitty.


  416. Kitty says:

    Do you have any plans for the weekend? Does anyone have a Spring Break arrangement?

    >> There’s no Spring Break in the working world. :(

    SBs- who is your favorite Bond?

    >>Hands down, Pierce Brosnan. I know, most people think he was the worst. But he was so suave, charming and sexy. Of all the characters playing Bond, he carried himself the best and he just fit into the character so well. Getting excited just thinking about Brosnan. I wish he could use me as a sex object. lol

  417. Kitty says:

    TLG Thank you for your info regarding Thunderbay. Stephan: Thank you for remembering my original e-mail to fwd me the info. You are sneaky deaky. No need to go to Thunder Bay anymore though. 😀 Get to stay in town and enjoy the gorgeous weather.

  418. Lily says:

    AdrianeSB – I agree. BHSD has postponed taking over care of his daughter (his wife is a SAHM, so he rarely is on solo duty) to linger with me, and I hated that.

  419. AdrianeSB says:

    To answer Lily’s question: I would not feel guilty of “taking time or money from SD’s children”. He has made a conscious choice and he would not be spoiling SB’s in the first place, if he had trouble supporting his own family. Children come always first, that’s my opinion, and as LASB, I think it tells a lot about a man how he treats his children. I would never complain if some plans fall through because of the kids, on the contrary I would be furious if SD put me first.

    Have a wonderful day everyone! One of those slow weekends again for me, so I’ll be lurking here all the time :)

  420. Beach_Girl says:

    To you all that I usually mail here, I have to apologize . Apparently the internet card that I got while I was in LA didn’t work very well. If you didn’t receive my email or thought i blew you off, I didn’t… The internet card wasnt working right.. or something! just found that out…
    I’m back now and have complete internet access 😀

    Hope you all have a good day!

  421. Beach_Girl says:

    SDinATX~ Awesome… We need to hang out and I can show you around! 😀
    Sent you an email, i’ll send my info, if you want to meet … it would be so awesome!

  422. SDinATX says:

    I’ll be in Montreal. March 24-27th. I should find out where I’m being put up at. The company that is flying me up is generally not cheap, so I’m hoping it’s a decent hotel.

  423. Beach_Girl says:

    SDinATX~ oh right, where in Canada are you going? lol… wow completely didn’t think there lol…. must be the wine I’m drinking 😀

  424. Beach_Girl says:

    SDinATX~ let me know,It would be awesome to see you 😀

    if you still have my mail,,, if not i’m mailing you right now!

  425. cleo says:

    atx where are you coming to?

  426. SDinATX says:

    Beach_Girl, hey there. How is it in Canada? I think I have to go there later this month for work.

  427. cleo says:

    annamadrid try dirtsearch
    SDinATX it’s nice to see you again

  428. Megs says:

    On cloud nine now :) My new potSD and I ended up chatting for over 2 hours!! He had me laughing so hard. This is the same one I mentioned earlier I’m hoping will be “my one”. ARGH! My hopes are getting higher and higher. Just trying to not let my dreams get away with me. He is soooo wonderful!

  429. Megs says:

    haha CollegeSB :) I definitely did that… though I didn’t have anything to make a satisfying enough bang. The noise upstairs quietted – but I’ve had to get after two groups of people that thought my doorway was a hangout spot for having a party at 11pm *sigh* I think I’m just grouchy.

  430. Lily says:

    Thanks to those who answered my question so far….

    I’m lurking.

  431. Beach_Girl says:

    SDinATX~ hey welcome back!

    Hi everyone, hope everyone is good?

  432. College SB says:

    Megs again: Ah, makes sense! I remember having birthday party sleepovers in hotels when I was in elementary school. We used to keep it down though or at least try to since my mother would be in a room down the hall. We still received a few phone calls from the desk though a couple of years and we would all freeze in terror when the phone rang. Oh, to be a kid again!

  433. College SB says:

    Hi SDs and SBs!

    I haven’t been here in a while so am catching up.

    To the Bond question, Daniel Craig! Although, to be honest, I think I just have a little crush on the character James Bond rather than the actor. 😀

    Megs: I was staying in a hotel once and the people in the room above me were practically jumping up on down with a vehement passion (why? I do not know). I finally got on top of one of the tables and banged against the ceiling. Immature? Probably. Satisfying? Definitely.

  434. AnnaMadrid says:

    Hey guys, sorry I didn’t respond to the post.. I just really need a good site that I can do a background check on someone.. I’m thinking about quitting my job and I found an ad about a job on craigslist(of all places) and need to do a background check on my new potential employer.. A free background check please!

  435. Megs says:

    ESB – I wouldn’t want details about him of course. Just how it went :)

    And not that scary actually. The pounding started right up again… so I called back just now. She said it’s a girl’s birthday party and they were jumping on the beds. So…I told the desk they still were and it was worse. I don’t want to be the downer of any party… but 3 hours is wayyyyyyyy too long to be obnoxious when you have already been told people are complaining. It’s my one major major pet-peeve. Not being aware of your surroundings. And parents allowing their children to be obnoxious. Could also be I’m just cranky from being exhausted from work and a cold that is keeping me up at night.

  436. ESB says:

    OK I need to hit the sack. I’m beat. Going to get up and go for a walk/run in the AM. The weather is finally changing to spring! I’m so excited!! Good Night Sugar world. Sweet Sugar dreams!!

  437. ESB says:

    Megs, I’m glad they didn’t come down and try to hurt you. That had to be scary!! Yes, I will let you all know how it goes Monday night. I am so excited. He said he has to be my best kept secret ever, so no hints about anything else about him. I have no problem with that. I think I have enough secrets in my past that I can keep one more 😉

  438. Megs says:

    ESB – exciting :) I hope you come back and let us know how it goes! :)

    So….quick vent – the people in the hotel room above mine have been so loud and obnoxious for the last 2.5 hours…I finally had to call and complain. They were literally shaking the pictures off my wall. Loud enough I was beginning to get a headache. Sounded like they were bowling above my head.
    I’m such a non-confrontational person… I had to let it go for 2.5 hours before I could complain. haha
    The front desk said security was on site and they would send them up. 5 min later – silence. Whew.

  439. ESB says:

    ATX, I think you are right, there are maybe 20 SBs for every SD? the odds are def against us.

  440. SDinATX says:

    ESB & Megs, congrats on possibly meeting the right SD. It’s not easy meeting people here I’m told for you girls. Lucky for SDN and I, we’re in demand!

  441. ESB says:

    SDN & SDinATX, I’m sorry, didn’t mean to ignore you. HELLO!! nice to see SDN again, and nice to meet you ATX!!

  442. ESB says:

    Megs, I know what you mean. I think I ‘finally” met the right SD for me. We agree on everything so far, but we have to meet first. I cannot wait for Monday night. From how he explained what he had with his last 2 SBs, it sounds like exactly what I want. Time will tell…

  443. SDinATX says:

    LASB, thanks it’s nice to be back. I had fun with the SB and she was a great girl, she just needed to focus more on school. So it’s not like a nasty break up or anything. I couldn’t help but notice all the new SBs who’ve signed up in my area too.

    SDN, I hope that is a rhetorical question about a blog wife signal… because I have no idea what your’e talking about at all.

  444. Megs says:

    So – the potSD I’m meeting when I get back in town sent me an email today and gave me even more hope that he is going to be “the one”. He told me how his last arrangement was, and he liked it like that…. and it matched what I want! I’m really really trying not to get my hopes up. … but it’s soooo hard when its finally coming together!

  445. ESB says:

    LASB: That is so cool. I should go back to school, get a degree in something to do with working with kids. I want to do nursing, maybe be a pediatric or NICU nurse. Will take forever, but would be so rewarding. I’d need someone to support me while doing it though. Would be to tired to do both work and classes. I was all set to do it 2 years ago, but the soon-to-be-X said he would not support me to get an education when I was going to use it to leave him when I was done. Hmmm… guess I showed him. Left him anyway!

  446. Megs says:

    Just finished a lllooonnnggg day working. Exhausted. Caught up on the blog –

    Lily – I defintely have thought about how I’m taking from the SDs children. But I think I have that problem because my boyfriend has two boys, and he doesn’t make a ton of money – so I am always pushing him to spend it on them instead of me. Plus, my own disfuntional family values add to it that guilt.
    However – my ex in-laws were multi-billionaires, and it was very easy to see how too much money given to the kids was a bad thing.

  447. ESB says:

    Jade: I do, when they are with their dad or friends. I’ve spent whole weekends in other states!! They think I’m on business trips, they don’t need to know I’m dating. If it ever gets serious, I’ll let them know. Tomorrow I’m doing movie night with the girls. We all need to let loose of some pent up anger, so we sit around and trash the rotten men in our lives, get drunk, and crash were we sit, lay, stand! for the night. Always a great time!!

  448. Jade says:

    That is so true ESB about the kids, you also need to be able to kick up you heels every once in awhile too !

  449. LASB says:

    I was dating someone a while back who seemed to be ignoring his kids. Even the way he talked about them was not very cool. I told him he was a bad father and broke it off. I think being a bad father is a character flaw that points to other potential character flaws. ESB, you are right about money not replacing love. I have another friend who actually rehabs over-privileged kids. They are kids of the very upper crust whose babysitters often include ritalin and worse. He’s the nicest guy, but also shows them tough love while getting them so they can function in society.

    SDN – Stop teasing your blog Domme. 😉

  450. NEOhioSD (SDN) says:

    LASB: No woman could treat me the way I should be better then you.

  451. ESB says:

    Jeez, I answered a bunch of questions on the other blog and when I got done writing, the new blog was opened! Please go back and read the last post. Really don’t want to repost something that long!!

    Working on an arrangement, but doubt I will be seeing him over Spring Break. I have kids to entertain. Won’t have much time for my new sugar (?) and he will be with his family, so doubtful.

    There was a question from Lily on the last blog about feeling guilty about taking the SD away from his kids, money for kids, etc…. I feel my biggest responsibility in my life is my kids. They always come first, and part of why I want a SD is so I can give my kids what they want, too. I will not take time away from them to be with him. If he can’t understand that, he isn’t the right one for me. I have most of my weekends free, BG and TT spend that time with their dad or friends. If SD needs to cancel on me because of his family, he will have my blessing. I have seen to many kids who have all the “things” they want in life, but no father/mother to care for them. They are missing out on so much. I have seen mother’s put so much effort in to the “new man” in their lives that the kids are left unattended. It is sad to watch these children turn from wonderful happy children into problematic children when all they really want is the attention of the 2 people in their lives who promised to raise and love them but for some reason or other decided along the way they didn’t have the time, or the kids were not worth the trouble, or throwing money at them was good enough. Money CAN NOT replace the love of parents….OK, getting off my soap box now.

  452. LASB says:

    ATX – Welcome back. Sorry it ended. :(

    SDN – I’m not sure. So is your latest able to properly put you in your place? 😉

  453. NEOhioSD (SDN) says:

    What is a blog wife signal?

  454. SDinATX says:

    Well I had plans… but my sugar relationship has now come to an end. So I’m back looking.

  455. LASB says:

    Oh, I’m finally first and my answers are going to be so boring. No sugar plans. Just taxes. No spring break arrangement. :(