10 years ago
Sugar Questions & Advice


Sugar Daddies and Babies are big on independence, but when it comes to making arrangements, it never hurts to get advice from fellow sugars, especially if you’re a discreet SD or SB, or new to the sugar bowl.

What questions are most important to ask a potential SD or SB?

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553 Responses to “Sugar Questions & Advice”

  1. ESPER says:

    Hi, i´m new at this, i´m looking for a mentor, but have many doubts, if someone want to talk to me i will be glad :3

  2. Curious says:

    My SD asked me to send me my bank info and keeps sending me pictures of himself I guess as a way of reassuring me that he is legit and real. I still feel uncomfortable about it and I expressed this to him but he seems quite adamant on sending me funds….not sure if I should send him the info or tell him to step. I still fairly new to all this. Thanks for any advice

    • Bruce Wayne says:

      Don’t provide your bank account info ever. He could potentially be using the account for laundering or illegal money transfers (federal crimes). Tell him either paypal or western union to a name (not an account) and watch him disappear.

  3. Jennifer says:

    I am new to this site, and I am also in college. Is there anyone that I can talk to to help me with this whole sugar baby/daddy thing? Thank you!

  4. NoName says:

    Every sugar daddy I talked to so far asked for my bank details and wanted my username and password to it , I’m not comfortable with that so how do I get out of doing that or does it mean their fake ?

    • ATLSD says:

      Totally fake. If they want to send you money doing via PayPal or venemo. I bet none will. If you gave them that info they could clean out your bank account.

  5. bethany says:

    I have a question! I’ve been seeing my SD for 3 months now and we see each other once a week. My allowance is 4k a month (1000/week) however he has been extra busy with work lately and has not been able to see me. Do i still get the weekly allowance next time I see him (combining all 3 weeks – including the 2 that he missed) or Do i just get one weeks allowance? Asking because I budgeted my rent/loan pay as if I would see him every week like usual.

    • noname says:

      it depends on your agreement did he say he would pay each week or give you a 1000 when you meetbetter be safe and plan on just get the one weeks allowance if he’s a good guy he might pay the missing 2 weeks

  6. Midwest says:

    Thank you Stephan! (((Hugs)))

  7. Midwest says:

    FLSB – Pls click through Lily or Shoogar’s names and ask them to put us in touch.

  8. Stingray63 says:

    Oooops! I mean Anna Molly. Had to correct myself. Lol


  9. Stingray63 says:

    Hi everyone,

    How is everybody doing in sugarland. I remember Ann Molly. How are things going with you Ann? I haven’t been keeping up to speed on the many posts in the sugar blog. Been too busy with my businesses. I see a few members have been engaged in blog wars. Lol Oh well, that’s a part of life! Have a GREAT day!


  10. Katie says:

    Evening ladies

    Just hopped on im bored and am looking at some cute shit on Victoria Secret.com

  11. Livin Life says:

    haha that must have been terrible! too funny.
    Yes I do feel comfortable and safe with him. Is there anything I might forget I wouldn’t think to take along or prepare for?

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Livin Life, pack fun stuff. I liked to pack a candle.
      Great smelling and fabulous mood lighting!
      If he is going to be conducting business, you might want to
      be prepared to entertain yourself. A good book or plan on touring the
      place or city you are staying in. I never get a chance to
      chill with a book so I am a fan of curling up and reading!

  12. Livin Life says:

    Thanks for the advice.
    Yes you are correct I have not and I am someone who loves their personal space so I am a bit nervous! I think my best route will be just to be straight to the point because the other thing is he may be taking care of business a bit which would give me a breather, in all honesty. haha. Can you tell I’m nervous?

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Livin Life, nervous is normal. Just make sure you
      are comfortable with him in general. I remember
      the first time I went away with my SD and we had
      a lovely room however it only had one bathroom!
      I went to use the bathroom in the SPA, sometimes
      you just need a little bathroom privacy. If you know
      what I mean! lol
      One thing I know is that if I feel comfortable I am sooo
      much happier all around. I know how you feel!

  13. Livin Life says:

    I have a question. SD that I have known for a while wants to take me away for a few days…any general advice?
    Thanks everyone!!

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Hi Livn Life!
      I take it you have not spent a 24/7
      span of time with your SD. The first time
      I did that it was a bit daunting. I was
      wondering how on earth would I get
      my personal space. Well… you get it.
      Talk about your concerns directly with him.
      My advice is to ask for the suite or place you
      are staying have TWO bathrooms! It makes
      getting ready so much more comfortable. At least
      that tid bit always worked for me 😉

  14. B says:

    Once I hand in these three assignments on Friday I promise to converse regularly. And whip was only a metaphor – I swear! How I wish I could come to the mixer in NY and that I wasnt stuck on the other side of the world.

    I spent 5 weeks in NY just after New Year, and while I did meet up with my first ever potential sugar daddy I rid myself of him even before he had bought coffee. If someone claimed to own a diamond company and be worth in excess of 30 milllion dont you think they would at least have a nice set of teeth? His teeth were atrocious, and this indicated to me instantly that his wealth was faux. Coming from Australia where everyone has access to healthcare, and my family always had private health care as well, a bad set of pearlers is in my opinion not an indication of success. I didnt just run from him because he had bad teeth though, he kept pushing and pushing me to come to his office while we were in the coffee shop (it was nearly 9pm at this stage) – it was all a little much.

    Once I finish my studies I will definitely be moving to at least London, but hopefully New York and I will get the SD ball rolling then.

    Good Night from Australia,


  15. SincereSD says:

    Jordan, in case you are not aware there is a Toronto sugar get together coming up shortly. Email me at hotmail and I will put you in touch with the organizer.

  16. SincereSD says:

    JSB says: My name is Jordan, I am from Toronto so if any of you are in the area let me know!!

    Jordan, there are a lot of us Torontonians here on the blog … Cleo, Taz, Kiki, Kitty, myself, iamcdn, to name a few.

  17. glamourpuz says:

    also is lingerie a bad idea for a pic?? im not a skinny baby and id like to show that i have curves and still sexy..?
    what does poof mean? disappear?

  18. glamourpuz says:

    thanks hun.. i am thinking of making a new profile, my old flat mate made me this late last yr, and she wrote what she thought i should sound like.
    she is fabulous and has a great sd ..also my pictures for so long made me appear alot younger and innocent perhaps naive … so i was thinking all the men who seen me before wouldn’t view me again.. now as the profile id like to be .
    i am taking it more seriously now as i live alone and struggling..
    i have potential to be fabulous but i just dont have much nice clothes..
    what would your recommend to mention in my about me section and what to avoid..
    and what sort of pictures will attract the right kind of man.. im getting ready to get the camera out for more recent pictures of me..

  19. a regular member says:

    You’re right glamourpuz, that guy is not a sugardaddy. He clearly doesn’t have the money to be one. I would also suspect his friend who borrowed the car to impress a girl indicates these 2 play this game a lot, trying to appear to be much more wealthy than they are.

    I smell a fake. He’s being as cheap as possible while trying to get laid. I would drop this one like a box of rocks.

  20. glamourpuz says:

    hi all, I’m fairly new on here..
    I met someone on the weekend for a dinner date at the casino, he had already had dinner there with someone a hr before hand which I was aware of.
    We got to the table and he wanted me to share a 16 dollar pizza.. I cant eat pizza and got steak and 2 wines (i thought that was weird he went for the cheapest thing on the menu)
    We got along well.. then when he paid he wanted the receipt for cheaper parking.. but cos his bill wasn’t over 100 it wasn’t valid.. so he asked if he could combine the 2 receipts the other receipt had 1 pizza and one drink..
    Then i seen a pensioners card in his wallet i asked him he said it was a carers card.
    We then went to pool in his convertible B.M.W so I started to worry less. He bought me a drink or 2 then his mate wanted to borrow his car to seal the deal with another girl..(to look good)
    I decided to call it a night and his first attempt to pay was DECLINED! so he went on another card and it approved thank god!
    We discussed a arrangement where he said he didn’t want to pay a girl to like him and I explained that I was more interested in finding a sugar daddy I liked then get with any one for money.. He said he wanted to buy me things and not give me a allowance.. At the moment I cant afford that I need help with rent as I live alone and recently lost my job so we finally came to a agreement of 150 a week dinners and expenses and he buy me nice dresses and stuff to make my living more comfortable..
    I really need help with rent tomo.. its a measly 200 bucks and he cant give it to me till the end of the week.

    This person is not a sugar daddy is he? I feel silly even asking…

    What is it with aussie men?? I am worth way more then this I am not a barbie looker but I am sexy, funny, reasonably smart and great company I have men chasing me outside of this site but I need a man who can look after me.

  21. JSB says:

    IM4U2 – I had a pot sd ask me about birth control as well!!! It threw me off too…

    Since I am still a fairly new blogger I am going to intorduce myself officially…

    My name is Jordan, I am from Toronto so if any of you are in the area let me know!!

    I am in my mid 20’s..never had an sd before so this is a new adventure….

    I am pretty active…play ball hockey, love to golf..I am training for a 200k bike ride for Cancer in June..I love performing arts, I volunteer, work 9-5, am a huge foodie and tell super cheesy jokes, and love to travel…

    When I first signed up my profile was pretty vague and I found I got a lot of msg’s from people interested in pay per play…I am so glad I did some research and discovered this blog because I have updated my profile and do not get any more of the pay per play offers…well the odd one for guys who don’t read..

    I really enjoy the blog and have learned a lot…I am usually pretty reserved but I find this is helping me speak my mind and get to the point so yay!!

    Looking forward to getting you know you all better…thnx for answering my questions..even the totally random ones haha



  22. a regular member says:

    IM4U, agreed with the others that a guy who wants to go to a hotel on the first meeting is not a SD and really, he’s just looking for escort services but either can’t admit it to himself or just wants it cheaper. Unfortunately, there are a lot of these guys using the SD sites this way.

    I had a pot conversation just this morning, where the guy initially pretended to be a SD type, but when we began IMing it became clear he just wants a cheap escort. He wanted to fly me to meet him with the expectation of only covering expenses and what I’d normally make per day working my regular job, with the expectation of “bedroom fun” from the beginning.

    I don’t have any issues with that, but it’s not what I’m looking for and I felt like he wasted my time because my profile is pretty clear. Next! 😀

  23. FLSB says:

    Whoa wee Whoa whoa wahh. All of this is so surprising! (not in a good way) and confusing, but I’m not going to ask questions and have the nonsense brought back up.

    DC- that is amazing news Good Luck 🙂

    Midwest- how can I get your email?

    are there any other SB’s in Florida?

  24. IM4U2DSIRE says:

    Midwest, Thank you so much for your advice as well. Lily, Lisa and you had helping me to be very straight forward and sent him an email saying that i wont meet him in a hotel that i will meet him casual for lunch with no expectations… I will keep you posted if he answer tomorrow.

    But honestly, i dont think i will go that route with him even if he meet me “casual” the first time i felt it was too pushy… he even asked me if i was in birth control… what the hell… you dont even know me.

    After reading this blogs for days now i understand… this is addictive!!! you guys are so sweet. Thanks!!!

    Oh by the way forgive me if sometimes i dont make sence in english i am latin and have to think in spanish first…. =)

  25. Anna Molly says:

    No, I will not be there…not in a party mood right now. Have fun in Cali!!

  26. NYGent says:

    Hi AM, sorry i didn’t hi you earlier.
    glad to hear beach and nycsb doing well. Are you going to the the NYC sugar event (i am not, will be in Cali)

  27. Anna Molly says:

    Stormcat ~ Both NYC SB and Beach are doing very well 😀

    Thanks again for the headache advice!

  28. Midwest says:

    Stormcat- click through my name and you will find both.

  29. Stormcat says:

    VC DC OC deuci , , ,

    he he he he, . . Dostoyevsky

    wow I really missed everyone. I feel a little ashamed that I was away so long. It wasn’t that I didn’t care it was just that I was really busy with work and all my extra time was spent on my SB. Then when I did pop in to lurk it seemed that I didn’t know anybody. Even noiw after being around for the past few days I have a hard time following all the posts because I don’t know the background. Anyway thanks for the welcome back. It really feels good.

    By the way has anyone heard from NYCSB, or dare I hope Beach Girl. I was kind of hoping to find them here.

  30. NYGent says:

    Midwest: I think we all (or many of us) know who SoOverIt is, so consider the source and motivation.

    Lily, I have to say that while I have not always agreed with your posts in the past (and some of the earlier ones were over the top, lengthwise and tone-wise, as I think you’ve even admitted), I admire your gumption in continuing to come back here and be willing to withstand the fusillade of criticism. So whoever came to the defense of you and Shoogar earlier, I second the motion (but could you shorten the posts a bit again?!)

  31. Lisa says:

    Good to see you midwest

    I agree that a real sd doesn’t meet at hotel the first meet. Imagine how akward that is if there is no chemistry. The sds I have had took care of the allowance part early and actually I have never had an sd that didn’t take care of it by the second date and that didn’t mention it in the first few emaisl. I had a potential that I was talking to last week but he was so vague on everything, no mention of an arrangement and was so busy he didn’t even keep in touch so after the past few weeks I know nothing really about him that pertains to an arrangement so I feel he is not serioud and now I realize after looking at his profile again, he was on this site the first time I joined 2 years ago with the same profile. So I wait for the next opportunity.
    I need a sugar injection so bad. lol

  32. Midwest says:

    IAM4U – A real SD would not suggest a romp before even meeting you. In fact, many hope for chemistry with their SB and would like to wait to see if that exists. Many of the SDs here have stated they would be willing to wait a few dates to formalize an arrangement. You did the right thing in telling him you are only interested in a lunch for the first meet and see how it goes. He will poof if he is a fake.

    Happy Lurker! So nice to see you again. Your prose has been missed! Thank you for lovely visions!

    “SoOverIt” or whomever – That was a very helpful and constructive post. I’m sure everyone here is enlightened at such amazing insight. Just for the record, the statement was:
    Please reach me offline as I’m stepping off the SA Blog until it becomes a reasonable venue with productive discussions again. “
    It does appear to be heading that way but for the one time posts that keep popping up.

    HL, Lisa, Stormcat, et al – Thank you for your kinds words and support! Please know it is greatly appreciated and what keeps me coming back.

    Sugar note: Lost a pot, but gained an amazing friend. Still have some good prospects though.

  33. Lisa says:

    and I feel many of the poof posters are talking about me because i’m real and if things aren’t going well, I say it

  34. Lisa says:

    I agree Cleo with all these one time posters and their nasty criticisms.

    Stop hiding behind the fake names and yes if everything is not cheerful in your life, please don’t post, but if you’ve got some imaginary story to post, please do it.

  35. cleo says:

    you know what i’m over?

    anonymous and one time posters who insert random nastiness into the conversation [on usenet they would call that ‘trolling’.] oh wait, nobody cares what i am or am not over… how about i shut up since i have nothing nice to say.

    yeesh. worse than primary school children y’all.
    stormcat: you are a sane and wise man sir.

    i like to say “when i find myself caring about what strangers on the internet have to say? it’s time to go outside”

  36. Lisa says:

    “boast post”

  37. Lisa says:

    No one really wants to read a full page boasat post either, very boring

    now back to my chicken sandwich

  38. SoOverIt says:

    I am so over it! Those that WHINE that they don’t want to post here. Then create the blah blah drama of not being able to post.
    Take it elsewhere. No one cares or wants to read the girlish drama. This is a Sugar site.

  39. IM4U2DSIRE – glad you appreciated my point of view! I think the old saying, “If it sounds too good to be true…” really holds true in the sugarbowl. He doesn’t know you except for a few photos (which I’m sure are gorgeous, but really there are a LOT of gorgeous women on this site) and he’s already ready to commit to ‘sealing the deal’? Weird.

    Let’s say he was totally sincere. He saw a few pics, can’t imagine anyone hotter, wants to move forward with an arrangement (that he’s certain will take care of your needs and expectations). —Nut-job!

    You aren’t a blow up doll! You’re a person!

    Would you even WANT to be in a relationship who doesn’t care anything about the personality and mind of the person that they have an intimate relationship with, just goes off of photos alone in determining who they are involved with? No, you don’t want someone like that. You want genuine mutual chemistry, which simply cannot be determined accurately until a live meeting unfolds, without any hurry to get to a hotel room.

    I’m saying this because I think great sex is awesome, and the largest sex organ is the brain. The brain gets involved the most when two people ‘click’ on many levels. Even if the guy is good looking, if he’s just in a mad rush to jump your bones because of your looks alone, it just won’t be an earth-shattering experience, and probably never will be.

    But he wasn’t sincere about being your first and most awesomest SD ever, starting at that first rushed hotel-then-to-hotel-room date. He just wasn’t. Genuine SDs don’t rush it beause they are picky because (if they have nice qualities to offer an SB) they are in high demand and they can be.

    An intelligent, successful SD will approach this site/his search for sugar as a mini project to be handled rationally, in order to ensure the highest quality possible outcome. If he wanted to go on the internet, browse photos & choose a girl to hustle asap to a hotel rom, he’d do that because there are CERTAINLY sites for that, which offer that exact service. A real SD will pay fees on this site in order to find a lasting RELATIONSHIP which has so much more to do with LIKING the person and getting along well WITH CLOTHES ON, as well as sparkling physical chemistry–much like a traditional relationship. Just with the benefit of simplicity, openness, directness, and lack of ‘forever after’ attached (and for the married majority, discretion).

    There are seemingly vast numbers of predator/vulture SDs on this site who pay the fees in order to carpet bomb the site’s ladies with vague ‘promises’ and high-pressure-sales-techniques designed to get young, less wise & savvy, less experienced, vulnerable women to acquiesce to his pushiness and let him have his way so as not to have to stand up to him and argue or hold her ground and demand certain ladylike protocols, in the hope that he’ll ‘come through’ on the vague dangling carrot of a real and quality arrangement that will improve their lives. The men know that if they go through this whole routine he’s done with you (a few emails, a pushy phone call from a private number) with enough women, eventually one woman will, in a moment of denial, weakness, vulnerability, or stupidity agree to go meet him for lunch + hotel room. And I promise he will give her a meager pay-per-play wad of cash and never see that woman again, and that woman will realize quickly what she’s just done. But then, aghast and ashamed, push it out of her mind and lock it away.

    Sad, really.

    3-5k per month is his buget to play this game with very high numbers of SBs (for initial contacts, in order to get as many as possible to the stage you’re at now, who are at least slightly considering his offer. some will say yes, and he will get laid, and he’s got some cash to offer pay-per-play per each gullible girl).

    Let’s not be surprised though. Men will lie to get a woman to drop her panties? You’re KIDDING me!?

    It’s not a problem, though. Just the smallest amount of effort in screening and placing sensible hoops for your pots to jump through before you even meet is pretty much enough to dissuade 99.999% of these predators from ever entering your IRL world (there’s a LOT of SBs so they won’t try terribly hard on any one girl). Weeding them out is the main labor-intensive function of being an SB on this site.

    What hoops? Emails back and forth for a bit… a couple of phone calls designed just to talk and shoot the breeze and get aquainted. A discussion of expectations, hopes and past experiences. Deciding together how a potential ideal first date meeting would go… If any red flags pop up or you feel unccomfortable or wary with anything he says at any point, it’s probably a good idea to trust your gut. If you aren’t sure then come to this blog and check with us.

  40. IM4U2DSIRE says:


    Thank you so much for your advice… you couldnt put it in better words. I am going to email him saying exactly that… it was to fast for me.. I was like “Jesus i dont know you in person and you just want to go to the hotel because of my pictures”… but didnt even have the chance to say anything… he called me from a private number (i do have his email) and told me it was going to be private until he meet me in person and hang up 3 times during the conversation… Thats what i am going to say in the email that i will meet him with no expectationes to go to the hotel if he doesnt want that then is ok with me. Thank you sweetie 🙂

  41. RedMaru says:

    Hey sugars back from my errands and the temp has dropped. Its chilly again (frown) What I miss?

  42. This sounds like a predator, and not a very clever one at that.
    Tell him you’d like to meet for a casual lunch, just a meet & greet, with clothes on, to get to know each other without any expectations of continuing to a hotel room that day. Tell him you need a bit of courtship to decide who you will enter into a longer term arrangement with, and that you aren’t seeking to rack up a huge number of short term ones this spring and summer.

    Then, watch him poof.

    Sorry hon. NEXT!

    I’m pretty bummed today. Not only do I feel crap for my SB friend who is abroad and with a skeezySD, but an SD friend of mine (a pot from my past who I didn’t feel enough spark with to move from pot to SD, but nowadays email pen-pals) just confessed to me today that he doesn’t have anyone else but me to tell that he was diagnosed with colon cancer. Crappity crap crap crap. I’m so glad we could email about it back and forth today a bit, he apparently isn’t ready to tell his wife & kids and I’m the only one he could think to talk to about it. Glad I could listen but really there was *crap* I could do about it. Just …not a thing. Sigh.

    Sigh. Crappy stuff happens to nice people.

    But on a positive note, I had a sugar triumph today. Major miscommunication turned into complete fiasco turned into oh-my-god-this-will-definitely-be-the-end-of-this-moment, but then….. tears, conversation, understanding, forgiveness, decision to from-here-on-out extend mutual trust and…… voila! moving forward with stronger bonds than before. Shocking happy ending, no one more so shocked than me that this will continue on, after the fiasco ingredients added into things today. I guess I really can communicate. And it helps when there are strong feelings binding the sugar together.

  43. IM4U2DSIRE says:

    Ladies!!!!! Help!!!!!!!! I dont know what to do now. I read all the blogs and try to figure everything out but now I am a mess. 🙁 I think i got my first arrangement but dont know how to handle it. This potSD contact me very nice and polite send me an email saying he was looking for a friend and an open minded passionate lover that he would make a great friend and mentor. He mentioned in his email that his budget is 3k-4k a month. He did sent me a picture and we email twice. He did call me today and i told him i was open to meet him to see if we have chemistry and all that and he was very fast and told me he will send me the address where we are meeting to have lunch on wednesday and told me straight forward that we would go to the hotel after lunch and be together… but we havent even talk about how many times he is going to see me or the allowance or anything. He has done this twice before with lots of success he mentioned. He is married and ask me if we could use my house… which i didnt like it – good think his wife comes a lot to the area where i live.. thats why we are meeting like 25 minutes from my area… what should i do? how do i handle the allowance first? should he give me my allowance before going to the hotel? i though i could do this but i dont know how to handle it. Any advice?

  44. Stormcat says:

    I’ve spoken to others who have been banned in the past and often it is due to a comment made to or about another blogger. The comments are usually pretty innocent but if the person complains then the blog contacts you and discusses it (sort of) then usually blocks you for a certain limited period of time. The thing is, IMO, to find out who those overly sensative bloggers are and just avoid them because they complain at the drop of a feather. I know who I avoid and I seem to do OK that way.

  45. Lisa says:

    Yes but they’re sucky in the sd world. So much to do around my new neighborhood but i’m stuck home.

  46. Happy Lurker says:

    Hi Lisa,
    That you were an A-B student in your days does not say anything at all about the potential of your daughter to excell. To be a top-class student has also something to do with willpower and dedication. Wasn’t it the French philosopher Rouseau who said that what a child becomes in real life later on is mainly thanks to his background.
    Indeed reasons to be cheerful for you as a mom.

  47. Lisa says:

    HappyLurker, I don’t think she got it from me. I was an A-B student and her dad didn’t even finish highschool and was educated in a third world country on top of that. But she makes A’s, graduated cum laude, gets all sorts of grants for school and all. She is the first person in my family and my ex husbands family which are storekeepers in Pakistan, to go to college.

  48. Happy Lurker says:

    You are not serious are you , Beach ?
    She is my secret Capulet in the sugar bowl.
    A girl worth to climb the balcony for.
    Must confess I am a beachaholic.
    Hi Villa “shall I compare thee to a Spanish Day ……”
    And OC I have a Black Lab calander here with great words of wisdom.
    “A dog wags its tail with its heart”.
    When I first read that line I conjured up an image of your happy smile.
    Hi Lisa, I still have that voucher for free lessons in pole dancing for you, remember ?!
    By the way, great to read that your daughter is a first grade student.
    Must make you very proud, surely she has that intelligence from her mom’s genes.

  49. My SB friend abroad reports via text message that a LV bag, JC shoes, and a bunch of other goodies are now in her possession and she’s happy but I feel sad for her. She was so miserable in earlier texts that I know for sure it wasn’t worth it and eventually she will know too. I need to have a heart to heart with her when she returns or at least watch her more closely and not let her do this in the future without better due diligence and general practices/policies. She’s very young.

  50. Lisa says:

    Good afternoon

    Banned?: sounds like nazi germany

    Why do the nice ones get banned??

  51. cleo says:

    nygent: beach is too

  52. Anna Molly says:

    Hi NYGent! Long time no see 😀

    Hi eveyone 😀

  53. NYGent says:

    BuxomBeauty: to answer your question, yes other people have been banned in the past. It is all pretty arbitrary and mysterious. Apparently MIDWEST got caught in the cross-hairs this time, unjustifiably IMO. I too hope she comes back, but only if she wants to and on her terms, and I wouldn’t blame her if she doesn’t.

  54. Lily says:

    I think sugar shangrila is a nice topic.

    Sexy Butterfly — you know I *heart* you and have enjoyed getting to know you these last months off the blog and appreciate you coming out of lurking mode to stand up for me & Shoog.

  55. nyc sb #2 says:

    hi OC!!

    i was going to be visiting SF soon and wanted to know if anyone wanted to get together and show me around town or get drinks- booo!! thanks for trying to help tho!

  56. nyc sb #2 says:

    hello everyone! long time no blog!

    i was wondering if anyone here is from the SF area?

  57. VillaCypris says:

    Good idea! People appreciate when someone remembers them and reaches out to say hello….

  58. VillaCypris says:

    Yes, do! Maybe he’ll come back to the blog….

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Lisa gave me a good idea this morning when
      she mentioned some of the past bloggers.
      I have a huge email list from the beginning
      of my posting time. I will reach out today
      and see how they are doing. Maybe they will
      post again. Many of them stopped posting
      but continued to email with me.
      I feel bad that in my SD pursuits I lost
      touch with so many of them.
      I miss them 🙁

      Hey HB (Happy Lurker)
      Kisses and wags!!!
      You crack me up…

  59. VillaCypris says:

    I found him!! Wonder what happened to him… he was so funny and entertaining, a really nice guy. 🙂

    He’sAHotSB says:
    February 27, 2009 at 4:47 am

    the most I’ve had is 3 replies

    not 3 SDs


    • OCSugarBaby says:

      That’s it! I just found his email address in my email.
      I think I will email him this morning to see how
      things are going 🙂
      I gave him his blog name…

  60. VillaCypris says:

    LOL. yes, that is him! hahahahaha

  61. VillaCypris says:

    OC – i remember one guy – can’t recall the ID – who posted from Australia I believe? but that was a looooooooooong time ago….

  62. Anna Molly says:

    OC…you should know by now that it is impossible for me to behave for very long. Eventually the Naughty in me comes out…lol.

  63. Anna Molly says:

    A SM I am not…unfortunately…lol 😉

  64. VillaCypris says:

    Hi B!

    Hi OC!!!! 😀

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Good Morning Sunshine (Miss Villa),
      glad you are feeling better. Can you
      remember back some of the MSB’s that
      use to post. Back in the old days?
      Oh I know, there is MichaelSD he is
      a gay sugar daddy. Maybe he will be
      lurking and come out to help “B”…

      “B” there is also a gay sugar link with various
      posts. Not sure if it is still active, but I enjoyed
      both reading it and posting on it in the past.
      Maybe Stephan can post the link here for you.

  65. Anna Molly says:

    Sorry guys….looks like Naughty has decided to come out and play 😉

  66. Naughty Molly says:

    Oh yes!! Where is Eric!! 😀

  67. Naughty Molly says:

    Welcome B!

    Looks like we both have a passion for whips….LOL 😉

  68. B says:

    I have a few things I feel a desire to post:
    Firstly, kudos to you DisgustedSD. I love someone who speaks their mind.
    Secondly, Ladyintim I cant wait to hear how things go – your endless SDs have me hooked like a novel. Can I ask do you have a regular job?
    Thirdly, am I getting the impression that it is mostly women who post on this blog and not male SBs?
    Fourthly, I cant wait to come back to the States and whip and few Daddies into a frenzy!



    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Welcome B (MaleSB) 😉
      There are a few maleSB’s that post.
      We can do a shout out to them and
      I am sure we can rally them!
      Pull up a cyber chair and play with us! xoxox OC

  69. VillaCypris says:

    * testImonial *

  70. VillaCypris says:

    Hi Sexy Butterfly –

    thanks for your nice testamonial. I enjoyed reading it!

    Along those same lines…. while I have not had any “success” on this site – success being defined as finding an ‘arrangement’ – I have met five women, thanks to this very blog, who have become very close friends in my ‘real life’. Two of those I text/email/call almost every day, and they have become most amazing friends!

    So while the site has not served it’s “purpose”, I’ll always be grateful for SA and the friendships it has made possible!


  71. Anna Molly says:

    VC ~ Bitte! 😀

    Welcome to all the new bloggers! Sorry if I have been a little slow on the welcomes 🙂

  72. Sexy Butterfly says:

    Hi Everyone on this blog,

    I am a long time lurker to this blog and this is my first post……

    I feel the need to share with you some of my experiences with Lily and Shoogar Shoes outside of this blog.

    I first contacted Lily thru her blog asking for assistance in re-writing profile and picking out the best photos. She was gracious in giving of her time in assisting me because that is the type of person she is. I found her to be witty, intelligent, vivacious and has a great attitude towards life.

    My first contact with Shoogar Shoes was meeting her in my town. She too, took the time out of her very very busy schedule to meet with me. We talked about life and our experiences in the sugar lifestyle.
    Later she again took time to work with me in writing to PotSds, did some more tweeking of profile and giving me great advise but she never made me feel like I was bothering her. She is a very gracious, funny, intelligent, wise and a beautiful woman.

    They both give great advise but always have stated to apply my own rules/beliefs/boundaries.

    I am proud to have these ladies as my sugar friends and YES, my life has changed because of our friendships.

    Sexy Butterfly

  73. VillaCypris says:

    AM – Danke!! 🙂

    was so strange…. a week ago Sunday I was out swimming, drinking champagne, dining al fresco with family and friends… then BOOM! Monday woke up with swollen throat and fever that just kept creeping higher and higher… YUKKKKK!!!

    do NOT wish that upon anyone.

    How have you been? x

  74. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Red and VC!!

    VC ~ I’m so glad you’re feeling better 😀

  75. VillaCypris says:

    Hi RedMaru – sorry, your post hadn’t shown up when I was writing mine. Good ol’ Georgia… enjoy your holiday!

  76. VillaCypris says:

    Good morning all!

    STORMCAT! Great to see you again! 😀

    Happy Lurker – excellent to see you as well! I just thought of you two weeks ago, two separate times… once when I was having some Pol Roger and the other when I was reading Coehlo and he mentioned the Camino of Santiago de Compostela. 😉

    Lisa, AM, Midwest, buxom…. all others… guten tag!

    I’m happy to report that after having a fever of 104F for three days last week, which basically shut down my body and burned it up on the inside, I’m feeling back to normal. Hope no one else gets sick, it’s bloody awful! x

  77. RedMaru says:

    Morning everybody!
    Hey Stormcat 😀 Finally caught up with you!
    Its a lovely day here in GA and I’m off from work – some holiday that only the state of GA celebrates Confederate Memorial Day. I ask again “Wha happen? Midwest dont go! We like you here!! Just my one cent before I’m off to deliver some handmade candles and soap and make some extra ducats…
    See you guys later

  78. Happy Lurker says:

    Hi Midwest,
    Just want to let you know, that I think highly of you and the pleasure of your company here in cyberspace. You are very welcome to me.
    Do sit down next to me, my dear, on my garden swing in the shade of the old apple tree and let us flirt a little to cheer you up.
    As to the suggestion for an interesting topic, bad experience is not one of them. There is enough of that on here continuously.
    A much needed topic would be Sugar ShangriLa, a story of success and happines in the sugar bowl and how did you attain it ?
    I know, I know, I am an alien from the planet Nuts who is a possibility thinker in essence. Perhaps I am nuts enough to think anyone has a suggestion for the perfect arrangement.
    How do you make it work as an SB ?
    Fancy a Sugarbowl Martini ?
    It will make your head spin.

  79. buxombeautylv says:

    So then are other people banned too? Have I totally missed something? I’ve read all the comments on this post and can’t see any reason MIDWEST should be banned, but I did see an awful lot of cattiness and negativity from other posters.

    Of course I won’t even try to debate the decision; I’m just confused and not understanding what exactly is all the drama about. Perhaps it’s because I’m one of the newer members and not that familiar with this community yet.

    Anyway, good morning everyone! 🙂

  80. Midwest says:

    Thank you friends, but the decision was not mine. It was the choice of the admins.

    Personally, I like the dynamic and enjoy the people.

    The only reason these are going through is I changed a few parameters.

  81. Stormcat says:

    Hi RedMaru 🙂

  82. Stormcat says:

    Midwest, everyone
    I’ve been around the blog for a while now 🙂 🙂 🙂 (Hell, I’m almost an old timeer) I’ve observed the social melieu here and note that the composition of the group and the content of the discussions are fairly cyclic. New people join SA at a steady rate, a percentage of them become active on the blog, at some critical mass an event occurs that gets a lot of the active bloggers upset and they exit as a group to another site where they can interact with each other without prying eyes etc. Some of those sites still exist, some don’t, some I don’t know about, some I never did know about. Some of the people come back as active bloggers, some become lurkers. But it’s just not the same after that. 🙁
    My point is that the blog is not static and is always evolving If you find yourself getting upset or feeling bad do like a lot of us do and take a little break. Don’t even lurk for a while. Then when you come back you won’t even remember being upset, there will be a whole bunch of new bloggers to get to know, and there will be a few friends that remember and welcome you back enthusiasticly. 🙂 And it feels really really good when that happens!!!

  83. Anna Molly says:

    Oh yes….Good Morning 😀

  84. Anna Molly says:

    Thank you Stormcat!

    I also want to say thank you to everyone for their kind words and support…you guys are the best! 😀

  85. Stormcat says:

    good morning sugarland!

    LadyI, AnnaMolly, Lisa
    I was recently asked to invent a line of new products for a nutraceutical company. The guy I’m working with reps for several other companies and showed me their product lines. One of the products is a natural herbal suppliment specifically formulated for preventing headaches in migrane and cluster headache sufferers. I haven’t used it personnally but he has and he swears by it. I don’t think I can say the name here on the blog but here goes. The product is called Migranol and it’s sold through wholistic medical practices. I just thought you might like to know about it.

  86. Lisa says:

    Don’t go midwest, I feel the same way alot and really miss all the nice people that used to blog.

  87. buxombeautylv says:

    It’s late night in the city of sin and apparently I’m the only one awake on the blog.

    Hi RedMaru! 🙂

    Lily, I second the suggestion of writing about ideas for handling a bad date. We will all have to deal with this from time to time and I’m sure we could all use some ideas for handling it gracefully and safely.

    Thankfully, the worst sugar date I’ve had was just one where we didn’t click and I simply bid him a good night after dinner and left it at that. We both knew we were not a match so explanations were not necessary. I screen and screen and screen some more, so by the time I actually get to the date part, I’m fairly certain we will be able to connect on some level. It’s not foolproof, but it does seem to help for me.

    Here’s wishing everyone a happy Monday and a sweet beginning to the final week of April!

  88. Midwest says:

    Reason #6

    We don’t subjectively discriminate as to who can and cannot share comments on the blog.

    I used to enjoy it here, but it looks as though I am no longer welcome. If this posts, I will be shocked. See you on the other side!

  89. LadyIntim says:

    ESB, I just wanted to tell you that your efforts to obatin your degree will pay off. If there is a will, there is a way…and you seem to be very driven-go after it!

    Lisa, I need some of your organizing skills because I seem to be unable to motivate myself to clean the house or do laundry. I am so glad I haven’t had any visitors-EW major.

    It’s 1 am and I am not tired at all as I cat-napped all day, so I guess I better start getting ready for my trip to meet my pot. SD…Moment of truth-oh boy. He seems very genuine and nice. He put me up in a super nice resort and even forwarded advanced allowance.

    JSB, it has been my experience that most SDs will tell you what they are wearing and try to coordinate. For example, the SD that I am meeting tonight already told me that he doesn’t want me to wear anything overly dressy. He said he will be happy with the outfit of my choice as long as I am comfortable. Plus, it is my belief that if you take good care of yourself in all other aspects (skin, hair, teeth, nails, make-up)..then you can pass a garbage bag for Prada.

    Lily, I think an interesting topic to discuss would be bad experiences. I don’t want to draw any negativity but I think we all need to hear them and know what to look out for. I have been fortunate enough to never come across any creeps…except for in the very beginning…I met a guy and my gut was in a knot-I still look back and suspect that I had a lucky escape. By the way, I am curious to find out how your friend managed to survive her recent disaster trip. What a bummer. Was he not what she expected?

    Anyhoo! I am off to the airport in a few short hours. Nervous but excited. Hope everyone has a wonderful day and I’ll be BAK a la terminator style.

  90. LadyIntim says:

    Anna Molly, I read about your headache troubles and just wanted to give you something to think about. Of course, two of the most obvious causes of headaches are dehydration, stress, and jaw stress (TMJ). But what many people don’t reazlie is that cluster headaches, or any other headache for that matter (migraines etc), are often provoked by clusters of myofascial trigger points…these are muscle knots (usually in your scalp, neck, shoulders, and back) that cause headaches. I don’t want to go too into detail but I am a healer and I have a very close relative who also suffers from headache. Trigger therapy is one of the few things that actually does help.

  91. Happy Lurker says:

    Have not visited the blog for many months.
    Too busy with my hilarious life.
    I now understand that women are from Mars.
    Men are from planet Nuts.
    I always thought girls were nice, but realize I am nuts.
    Had a great laugh at the postings of DisgustedSD and SDinLA.
    It made my day, as I often felt an impulse to shove a petard in someone’s leotard, when I read how women think of men and skin them.
    Have a great Monday !

  92. Michael in AZ says:

    Hi everybody!!

  93. FL-SD says:

    Good evening all

  94. JSB says:

    Lily…I am fairly new, I am talking to a few pots but have yet to actually go out and meet a pot sd..maybe in your new post talk about what to wear when you first meet someone…or maybe an sd can comment on what they like?

    Hi everyone…it’s been a while since I have been on the blog…have to admit I felt like it was a soap opera ahah…glad we are all getting back to being positive and giving advice….I enjoy the mix of opinions and both comments from sd/sbs

    Btw is anyone from the Toronto area?



  95. ESB says:

    Lisa, I had the same my first time through college… grants and scholarships paid for it all, and had some left over at the end of the qtr to buy what ever. Im hoping to at least get my classes and books paid for this time. Working full time while going to school is going to suck, but only for 2 years, then I can pick where I want to go… anywhere in the country with a nursing degree!! The local community college has a 2 year program, and it is very intense, so I’ll be busting my butt to get it, but so worth it when it is over with!!

    ok, really going to bed now! night!!

  96. Lisa says:

    Good night ESB. Time to take my allergy pill, take my macbook and get in bed and watch some tv, lol

  97. Lisa says:

    I have thousands in credit card debt from years ago and had to just let them go a few years ago, it was pay the rent or pay the cards that would never be paid off so I chose the rent, thus my bad credit now.

  98. ESB says:

    on that note, BG is teling me to get to bed… so Good night sugar family. Sweet sugary dreams.. and I’ll come back to spread some sunshine again someday when I have the time! HUGS!!

  99. Lisa says:

    My daugther gets lots of grant money (mostly because she was in all those advanced classes, cum laude and all) and she gets her school paid (community college down the street for these first couple years) and a few thousand overpay she gets to keep. I wouldnt’ mind taking some classed if I didn’t have to work as my job exhausts me and takes up my mornings. I wouldn’t want to work and go to school though, as I have to have my free time, that’s my vice. I really don’t have many interest though and have found that when you make something you enjoy a job, you no longer enjoy it. I love clothes, I used to work at a clothing store and hated it.
    Still hoping to find an sd so I can join the gym across the street, i’d like to be able to go over a few times a week and work out but it’s too expensive. I do alot of physical work at my job but it doesn’t burn calories, it just hurts my back.

  100. ESB says:

    That is a very nice change!! I hope you find an SD who is as generous to fill in. I’m hoping for the same for me.

    I decided to go back to school. I’ll be taking Anatomy and Physiology (sp?) A&P! this summer, then the real classes start in the fall. If I can find an SD to help support me, I can do this!! Will only take 2 years to get my degree, and then I’ll be able to support myself and maybe even go for my masters. If I can get into a program where they will pay me to work while going to school (I’m sure I can) It’ll make things easier. I just gotta kill the debt monster that is eating me alive!!

  101. Lisa says:

    You need to set up shop at my store, set up your tylenol stand, lol

    I take an allergy pill every night in order to be able to sleep well. It’s nice and quiet here (well except for my next door neighbor’s scary sneezing) as they don’t allow people to hang out in the parking lot with their ghetto blasters and drinking. It’s as quiet as a tomb here, lol

  102. ESB says:

    I have cronic insomnia, I have it on hand at all times. Muscles relaxers, pain killers, and all kinds of stuff that would make me rich on the black market.. only I need it so I won’t part with it!!

  103. Lisa says:

    Housework’s all done, laundry is done. So easy when everything is new and clean already, lol only takes an hour and yes I have to be alone to, it’s hard to polish the sofa under sitting people, lol

    TylenolPM? can you get that? Our store has all tylenol products off the shelves for a couple months already do to a recall. It makes it so much easier to straighten the pain medicine aisle, lol

  104. ESB says:

    AM: a friend of mine was getting those (cluster). He went to the DR and didnt get much help. I get the migraines and discovered my biggest trigger was cafienne… go figure. If I have to much, I get them bad. I haven’t had any in 2 days, so maybe that is a problem too. Been getting up to late for the one cup of decaf Im allowed per day. I think I”m gong to go to bed with a few Tylenol PM and hope that cures both problems.. headache and lack of sleep.

  105. ESB says:

    hey Lisa, hows the house work going? I can only do mine when I’m home alone. I turn up the music and dance and sing and make a fool of myself, but the house sparkles when I’m done, and I get a great work out in the process…

    head ache is from lack of sleep. Woke up at 2, got out of bed at 3, back to bed at 5… Im ready to call it a day, but wanted to stop by and see how everyone is doing.

    Anna Molly, how have you been sweety? Thought it was funny you threatened to bring out NM earlier.. let her “whip” these people into submission! 😉

  106. Anna Molly says:

    Ugh…migraines are the worst! I’m on Imitrex and I get 9 pills a month. I filled it on the 15th and I have one left. I’ve never had cluster headaches before so this is a new thing I have going on. I hate going to the Dr., but I think I need to pay him a visit.

  107. Lisa says:

    Good evening ESB, AnnaMolly

    Hope your headache goes away. I get one once or twice a month that lingers for days and I feel lousy.

  108. ESB says:

    good evening Sugar world!!

    I have the worst head ache. need more sleep… and will be doing that shortly…

    I am back. Going to revamp my profile, and get me some sugar. I’ll start on that tomorrow, maybe, i have a pot I am exchanging emails with, and until we take it off SA, I don’t want to be on hold. We’ll see where this one goes… I am so beyond holding my breath anymore. To many poofers!!

    Nice to see the attmosphere has calmed some from early this morning. I hope we are all going to have a fantastic week!! Im pretty sure mine will be!!

  109. Anna Molly says:

    They are all good topics Lily 😀

  110. Lily says:

    New week, yay!
    New Bloggers – do any of you (LadyIntim, perhaps?) have a suggestion for what topic you’d enjoy reading on my blog that I haven’t already covered? Just curious, I haven’t put up any new content in forever and thought about jotting something out. sugar meets? traveling to meet sd and what to do if it sucks? falling in love with your SD? Being the side dish to a married man and how to explain that to the rest of the world if it spills over into regular life? How to minimize the sugar success in your life so as not to become the object of thinly-veiled jealousy (not fun)….?

    Just a few of the topics on MY mind lately! 🙂

  111. Lisa says:

    Good evening everyone
    Housework and laundry are done
    I’m glad the weekend’s over and the new week has started.

  112. RedMaru says:

    MindyNYC – thanks I’ve missed y’all too.
    Hey buxombeauty 😀

  113. Jade says:

    Wish I was invited to the private forum ! * shrug *

  114. I keep seeing all this cattiness and really, it reflects more negatively on the person posting it than the people being slammed. Considering this is supposed to be a site for adults, I would hope we could avoid the catty junior high school dramarama here. Let’s play nice eh?

  115. MindyNYC says:

    sry all for doublish post above!! – been sharing my computer today and it has been acting possessed lol

  116. MindyNYC says:

    Anyway, back to MY regular program…
    HEY ALL! Hoping all everyone is enjoying their Sunday!
    REDMARU! Glad you’re feeling better. You’ve been missed Hun!
    AM – very sorry to hear about SD, you both seemed very happy. I hope this is a temp glitch or at least you’ll be ale to rely on each other as friends. But of course, right now is hard, so I’m sending you the biggest HUGS
    LILY – we all get concerned for our friends, but you brought up great points, she is not in any danger, and has many options. It wasn’t what she anticipated but seems she will roll with it.
    Anyway, back to MY regular program…
    HEY REDMARU! Glad you’re feeling better. You’ve been missed Hun!
    AM – very sorry to hear about SD, you both seemed very happy. I hope this is a temp glitch or at least you’ll be ale to rely on each other as friends. But of course, right now is hard, so I’m sending you the biggest HUGS
    LILY – we all get concerned for our friends, but you brought up great points, she is not in any danger, and has many options. It wasn’t what she anticipated but seems she will roll with it.

  117. Lily-licious says:

    Mindy, come chat! I’m avoiding bedtime and hardly anyone’s online.

    and Mindy, the snark was meant for me. not you.

  118. MindyNYC who is direct and drama free! says:

    No problem Mindy, just sometimes it is best to say hello and lend support. Hope it is all good in NYC today.
    AFAIK, that is what I always do! Sometimes all the facts are not as you they appear to be. NYC is great! As it is everyday – praise God! Thanks for asking. Enjoy the pool – Lucky girl! xo

  119. Lily-licious says:

    I’m feeling SO down for my “little sugar sis” whom I found on SA but then turns out she lives across the street from me. She’s abroad, on a nightmare sugar date with a pot. :/ She is counting the minutes to getting outta there, and I have texted her offering her help to get her home asap, but I guess she wants to stick it through for whatever reason. No matter what he ends up buying her towards the end of this trip, it was not worth how miserable she seems to be via text messages. :/

    Hard to be happy about all the good things and sugary-wonderful things going on in my life and other peoples’ lives when her experience is going so so so wrong. Then again, she’s safe, she’s not physically in danger (I hope!) and she never has to see him again, and has other men waiting for her back here, so… I guess it’s not the end of the world, but still. I just hate when someone I’m fond of is miserable!!

    Sorry to be a downer, just wanted to spit that out and I can’t tell anyone else!

  120. MindyNYC who is direct and drama free! says:

    I’m not really sure what you mean by that comment (maybe reflect/edit your ‘thesaurus’ comment), but I’ve never had an issue with you or any one else. I welcome you to email me off blog to clear up any issue you perceive. BUT I do believe everyone’s opinion should be respected and allowed to be heard. Otherwise, it’s a bit lopsided, since we all live in a glass house.
    I’d prefer you to come to me directly to discuss, otherwise keep me out of your fray 🙂 …Much respect!

  121. RedMaru says:

    Okay done with the shower and my handmade soap works beautifully!
    Hey OC Mindy 😀
    Have fun at the pool wish I was there

  122. MindyNYC says:

    ohhh, I now I see why the special hello! Silly me, for misinterpreting it! Please feel free to email me off blog OC.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      No problem Mindy, just sometimes it is best to say hello and lend support. Hope it is all good in NYC today.
      The sand at the beach was blowing too hard. I am heading to the pool!

  123. MindyNYC says:

    And always a special HELLO to you too OCSugarBaby!! Don’t know what I did to deserve your special attention, but I’m flattered! I only speak the truth and call it like I see it. It’s nice to see it’s appreciated 🙂 … Hope all is well with you xo

  124. RedMaru says:

    Hi Lisa bye Lisa 😀
    DC Hugs I’ve missed ya!
    Oy! wha happened?

  125. Lisa says:

    Good afternoon just back from work. Tiring day as usual. huge carts pilled 6 feet high with stuff aren’t made for a 100 lb woman to pull, but there are no gentlemen at work.

    OC, percy likes his cage but hates the perch and won’t get on it. he also insists his water and food trays be on the floor and I have to tile his food tray because he’s too lazy to stick his head in
    Now i’ve got to start my housework and laundry which I much prefer over my job.

    And don’t knock DisgustedSd, he has a right to his opinion too. And I have to say the comment about the “over 40” crowd from a certain poster was uncalled for too. Everyone will be that age sooner than they think, you hit 30, time flies.

    Off to do my housework. Have a good afternoon everyone

  126. DC says:

    Hi everyone!
    Been quite some time since I’ve posted – just wanted to say I miss those that I became acquainted with so well on the blog, and haven’t had much time to check up on the blog so I hope everyone is well! 🙂

    As for me..
    Life is good!
    The bf (my former SD) and I are still together and very in love, thank you SA! Someone mentioned cutting back on hours for an SD, I only work 2 days a week now and will be quitting altogether in a month or so, at the behest of my boyfriend who wants to spend more time together and hates that I work =) – but yes, agreed. Contracts are necessary! You need some security if you’re going to cut back on your income, in order to be more avail for traveling/spending time with your SD.
    Lily, you’ll appreciate this one – after looking at Bengal kittens, my bf decided he’ll get me an F1 Savannah kitten =) Can’t wait! We have to wait a few months for breeders, as F1s are a rare breed to produce.. but it will be well worth it. I love kitties! How are yours?

  127. RedMaru says:

    Hey Anna Molly 😀
    14 hours and with my computer in Safe Mode. The excitement was sort of diminished. Then there was the extra two hours to download the patch so it would play right!

  128. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Red! 14 hours! That is a looooong time! Don’t you hate it when you’re so excited to play something and you have to wait a whole day for it to download?

  129. RedMaru says:

    Hey sugars! Its a lovely Sunday here in GA and my three day long headache is gone. But whoa! What happened? You turn your back for a couple of days that’ll teach me to be sick. And I keep missing Stormcat(mock pout!) StarCraft II finally has a release date and I just played the beta tester after 14 hours for it to download

  130. LadyIntim says:

    Alright…I am off like a prom dress. Lunch time! Cheers.

  131. LadyIntim says:

    Now everybody knows Victoria’s secret!!! >:( lol

  132. LadyIntim says:

    LOL OC! You crack me up. How will you identify me? Some twenty-something female who is occasionally funny and likes to bite? 🙂

  133. LadyIntim says:

    Copy that, SouthernGent. You better sharpen your pencil!

  134. LadyIntim says:

    Oh OC, why do you tempt me so? LOL! Oh my sweet stranger SD, where are you? When will we finally meet? Have we already met in the past? Have we already met in the future? Is there really a difference? haha!

  135. SouthernGent2 says:


  136. LadyIntim says:

    SouthernG…so @gspot.com or @gmail.com or what? I’m confused!

  137. LadyIntim says:

    wow my comment is being moderated…are you not allowed to say “shut the front door????

  138. SouthernGent2 says:

    LadyIntim – sugardaddy49 at the g-spot dot com

  139. LadyIntim says:

    OC, then I probably don’t know him. My last attorney was gay…and anyone else I know in that area of expertise doesn’t seem to fit the bill.

  140. LadyIntim says:

    SouthernGent, please don’t let me alarm you. I am easily the most easy-going, sweetest person on the planet. But sometimes for no reason , I bite myself..virgorously

  141. LadyIntim says:

    Is he married? I must know who it is! ;p

  142. SouthernGent2 says:

    LadyIntim – lol, you are way too dangerous for me. I think I need to change my name to CelibateGent2 for my own safety 🙂

  143. LadyIntim says:

    OC, can this very high profile SD break 6’5? If so I may know him indeed!

  144. LadyIntim says:

    OC, I must know who it is! My problem is that my main SD #1 frequents my town quiet a bit…so I usually refrain from local SDs. Although I do know quiet a few that I call up when I get lonely.

  145. LadyIntim says:

    LOL! SourthernGent, yes that is me. I have also been secretly posting on the blog under Disgusted SD and such (JOKING). Will you please be my baby daddy?

  146. SouthernGent2 says:

    Are you on the site right now? Just went thru some of the AZ girls that I suspect are in your range. As long as you aren’t the one looking for a man to father a baby boy for her and provide 20k per month lol 😉

  147. LadyIntim says:

    Thanks, OC. Enjoy those sea lions and we will await your return!

  148. LadyIntim says:

    Oh my goodness..I have never been to GA. That just seems so far away! Well, SouthernGent, I hate to admit it but in point of fact I have been accused of being great looking in the past. As for the no reply issue I have done that as well. If you ever decided to venture out this way you know you have a good friend here in the desert. Friendships like this are a rare opportunity and can last a lifetime 🙂

  149. SouthernGent2 says:

    LadyIntim – Lots of great looking AZ girls on this site. I recently messaged someone out there, but no reply. I am from GA.

  150. LadyIntim says:

    Midwest, please don’t go! Alright, people…if this horrible behavior doesn’t stop right this minute I will make sure all of your can’t ever type or click on things EVER AGAIN!!! (Don’t think I won’t do it)

  151. LadyIntim says:

    Anna Molly, congrats! Great success 🙂

    OCSugarBabe-say hello to my favorite place…are you going to the beach? I was just in Cali about a week ago and for the first time in my life I saw sea lions. They are so gross and cute. I’m totally jelly!

    SouthernGent, Scottsdale, Arizona -what about you?

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Lady Intim I will send you via the blog some sand and sunshine.
      Oh don’t worry those that stomp off never really leave.
      I wouldn’t fret too much. The SD‘s and SB‘s
      that truly care about helping others and not about using big words or a newly
      purchased thesaurus will still post. We accept all sugars period.
      A drama free world simply does not exist. But a kinder one can.

      ***Note to the New posters, we fear not for stalkers on the SA blog.
      if you hold true to the safety tips of not posting your email or be careful
      linking your profile to your posts. Keep your identity details vague.

  152. SouthernGent2 says:

    Lady Intim – what state are you located?

  153. Anna Molly says:

    My first arrangement. I joined in October and we found each other in Jan.

  154. LadyIntim says:

    Hi, Lisa! I hope your workday isn’t too too long. If it makes you feel any better I’m stuck at home all day doing homework and scrubbing my house-bleh. Everybody’s jealous.

  155. LadyIntim says:

    Anna Molly. I agree. We should definitely focus on what’s important here. That being you and of course, ME. How long have you been on SA? Is this your only SD?

  156. Anna Molly says:

    Thanks OC 🙂

  157. Anna Molly says:

    Let’s just say that the time I spent with my SD was AMAZING and I will miss him 🙂

  158. Anna Molly says:

    Can we please talk about ME? I’m hurtin’ here!!

  159. Midwest – Thank you for so eloquently summing up my intentions.

    SDinLA – Your graceful disposition and skillful delivery of thoughts is always appreciated.

  160. SDinLA says:

    DisgustedSD, or should I say “Disgusting SD?”:

    Whether or not we agree with a poster’s opinions, the kind of ad hominem, personal attack you just made is uncalled for and juvenile. Lily and I have very different definitions of what an arrangement is, and I have not always agreed with her approach to blogging in the past, but your “alter male ego” (sic) is awfully catty.

    Anyone who purports to be a SD and resorts to puerile name calling in describing a woman is not a SD in my book, since treating women with respect is an integral part of the definition.

    Hypocrisy at its finest indeed, to hoist you with your own petard…

    It sounds like you have plenty of experience with anonymous online attacks, Mr. Security (sic) Proxy Server. Is that some kind of new, super-duper version of a Secure Proxy Server available only to disgusted people?

    Somehow I doubt we’ve seen the last from you, despite your claims to the contrary…

    Hi everyone!!! What did I miss?! Hope you are all having a good weekend.

  161. Midwest says:


    How did we get from discussing exclusivity to misinterpreting Shoogar’s story about the confrontation w/Lily as an attack (it was actually a true recount of how everyone has disagreements with others’ approaches, but its ok and should be handled offline) to MSW being an “exclusive club” to personal attacks against each other? Seriously…this looks like middle school cyberbullying.

    Read with a fresh perspective and realize this got out of control b/c one person misunderstood a comment made and made it explode into something completely irrelevant and downright cruel.

    As for MSW – it is not exclusive…anyone is welcome. I will say we have had NO drama…period! Here’s why I use it:

    1- It is private from the entire internet to keep stalkers from preying on our sbs (happened twice in the six months that I have been here).
    2- We don’t advertise it here out of respect to Stephan and SA. It is in no way designed to compete with SA and it would be foolish to think such things.
    3- We enjoy the format. Some here have complained about idle chit-chat. MSW has a chat forum and topics separate so one can chit-chat to their heart’s content without disturbing others.
    4- Many of us participate in both blogs as each serves different purposes.
    5- There is NO drama. We do not gossip, we make plans to visit one another since we have some freedom to talk privately, we share opinions about different scenarios, and encourage one another in our sugar pursuits.

    Does that take away the mystery and add some understanding? Can we please move on? I truly believe the people attacked deserve apologies…on both sides of the fence.

    Please reach me offline as I’m stepping off the SA Blog until it becomes a reasonable venue with productive discussions again.

    Stephan – Please feel free to share my e-mail with those who request it. Thanks so much…hope you are feeling better.

  162. DisgustedSD says:

    No alter male ego here. Just 100% Alpha Male

    Thank you for the grammar lesson Lily, I undertand that missing an aphostrophe makes me an uneducated troglodyte. Oh, the horror of a misspelled word.

    I find it rather ironic how alot of you come on this blog and complain about sd’s and your sugar life, but when someone who’s fortitude I admire does it, she gets slammed as being negative.

    I guess you have to be a snob in Louboutins, before any negativity is allowed.

    God forbid that an Sd criticize”””””’s an sb, or a poser!

    I guess 5 or 6 months in the sugar world makes you an expert on all things. Please!

    Hypocrisy at its finest.

    As far as tracing an ISP/IP address. Contrary to popular belief, an IP address is not easy to obtain.

    The Internet service provider is the keeper of a persons private IP address, and the only way to get that info is for them to release it, which can only be released to law enforcement, or a court of law. Anything else is invasion of privacy.

    Some Ip’s like mine, are untraceable. Thanks in part to security proxy servers..

    What does the threat of tracing an IP accomplish? Find out who I am? Maybe give me a big cyber spanking? I would be very,very, careful!

    No worries ladies. I probably won’t be back here. I respect all of the long time bloggers, and I don’t want to poison your fun. I just wanted to lay a little smack down on the fairy tale princess.

    Hopefully all you new sb’s will not be sucked in and tainted by the great pretender.

  163. LadyIntim says:

    Goodmorning, everyone. Oy the headache after last night’s dinner. Can we start a new blog already? Sparkly and fresh?

  164. Anna Molly says:

    Sorry, I’m just now catching up on the blog.

  165. Anna Molly says:

    CaliExecSD ~ You are too sweet 😉

  166. NotAMeanGirlFan says:

    In light of recent posts I have to agree with Lisa and the others. The blog has been so nice and friendly since Shooger and Lily have taken to posting in another Sugar World. If they dislike the stories that we post here about our sugar life. Just freakn stay in another world. We have seen your attitude go from sweet to salty and a bit pretentious. Come back to earth and THEN post on the blog.
    If you can’t be nice stay away please. You caused so much drama already.

  167. Lily-licious says:

    Oh, ok! You were just so upbeat and positive and encouraging, it reminded me of someone who’s been emailing me and cheering me on! 🙂 But nice to know there’s *another* lurker out there who is rooting for us energetic SBs who make our own destinies!

  168. Tullulah says:

    Lily–no we have never corresponded via email…I usually just lurk the blog but was so sick of the bitching and moaning I just couldn’t lurk any longer!

  169. miadoesabodygood says:

    Im new to this Blog. I was wondering if anyone is going to the party? im considering traveling from Michigan to attend.

  170. Anna Molly says:

    Going back to Anna 😀

  171. Naughty Molly says:

    Good morning everyone! 😀

  172. Well, as the content didn’t even bode a response, or even stir within me much of a reaction beyond maybe an iota of pity for the person who is obviously full of such negativity (sorry, I just don’t care about “haters”), I felt I would point out the (most) obvious point of the subterfuge which revealed clearly that the pseudonym was a smoke screen for a very prolific poster to hide behind.

  173. ^LOL @ grammar police Lily! 😀

  174. Tullulah says:
    April 24, 2010 at 6:16 pm

    I usely don’t give my two cents and just catch up on the blog when I can but I find Lily and Shoog to be hilarious and entertaining. Its clear that some are envious of their successes and intelligence, especially those who have been “poofed” on and are strugging right now. Jeeeez louise, we do not need to hear sob stories five times over on a daily basis. Moving forward and being thankful for those who wander in and outta our lives is what its all about, no use crying over poofed daddies. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and make the best of it rather than crying on the damn keyboard everyday over lost daddies and lack of pots.

    So tip of the cap to you, Lily and Shoogar for setting the precedent for SBs and not apologizing or dulling who you are. Its inspiring, really.

    *blushing* Why, thanks, Tullulah. I feel I can safely speak on behalf of Shoog, too, in saying —“compliments appreciated!”

    And Jade is correct, IP addresses can be traced so you guys who think you are so very clever in posting under a male alter ego to back up your sentiments– had better think again. It’s called being a troll and really…. pretty childish behavior for the over 40 crowd.

    Speaking of age, SDinLA– don’t lump me in with the 30something SBs just yet! Please! I’m not ready!!!! Just ‘cus I technically concluded my twenties a few months ago does not mean I don’t still feel like a twenty-something! *wiggles hips and frantically digs out old cheerleading uniform from the 90s* Wasn’t there a Friends episode just like that where Rachel hits a 30-years-old crisis and even digs out her cheerleading outfit to try to seduce her boss, Joshua? Hilarious! But yeah, I get you on dating a schoolgirl who is happy to be monogomous.

    If I was still a student who had a decade to play with before even needing to worry about her clock starting to tick on the marriage market, I would be extremely amenable to longer term exclusive arrangements. For me, at my ripe ole age 😉 (kidding!), I don’t feel like I want to put more than a year or two into this lifestyle, tops, and then shift towards a more conventional life.

    I want to make that sugary time really count and have tons of fun to look back on, but I have certain goal posts I want to hit by 35 and 40 that won’t necessarily happen if I fritter years away on arrangements that don’t either a) end up going the traditional route, or b) bolster my career path so effectively, to the point where at the end of it, I am so much better positioned to be successful on my own that it was really worth it to take myself off the market for a good while.

    Tullulah, I think I know who you are, your sentiments and writing style ring a bell–we email off blog, don’t we? 🙂 And YES, I agree with your post about the annoyance of insessant lamentings.

    And ‘SDs’ who don’t know when to use posessive apostrophes. Yeah, right!
    Kind of elementary school grammar to know that the letter s signifies plural but “apostrophe + s” signifies posession (knee = singular, knees = plural and knee’s = indicates that the knees have ownership of the object to be specified immediately afterwards).

    Same with SDs = more than one SD,

    and SD’s = an SD’s ______ (item of possession).

  175. I just came home and logged in to check on my new blog buddies and find all this drama! oy

    I’m not sure what all the hullaballoo is about; guess I missed a couple things. I’m unaware of this secret blog. I noticed posts were being held for approval for a couple days but wasn’t sure why. Didn’t bother me except that it did make following dialogue more difficult. If I had time to follow all the posts more carefully, perhaps I might be more privy to what’s got people all up in arms, but frankly, this (like the sugar bowl) is a place I come for some relaxation from the “real” world, not drama 😉

    Hope everyone’s weekend is fabulous!

    I’d like to say to Lisa: One thing I’ve learned in life is that you tend to get more of what you put out in the world. If you think positively you tend to draw more positive things to you – likewise, if you dwell on the negative, you’ll tend to draw more negative to you. The best things that have happened to me in life, came when I was in an overall positive mindset. When I feel down, that perpetuates itself until I manage to pull myself up again. Try doing some things that simply make you feel good, and keep at it! Smile! Before long I’m sure you’ll see things looking up 🙂

  176. Lisa says:

    Well said DisgustedSd

    on my way to my dreaded job.

  177. ESB says:

    good morning SDinLA, nice ot know I”m not the only one up at this ungodly hour… and I agree with what you have to say. Or maybe it is my lack of sleep? nah, doubtful…

    Exclusive works if both parties are happy. I couldn’t handle the jugling, to much going on in my life as it is. but tht is my personal preference. To each his own.

    As for the secret forum… ‘don’t worry bout it”. I like coming here from time to time to check in where all my firends are, and a few not so friendlies, to see who has found success and console those who have not.

    I’m thinking I need to go back to bed now… got a date in the afternoon and I’m sure he’d appreciate if I didn’t have bags under my eyes!!

  178. SDinLA says:

    Wow, get the kids to sleep, check on the blog after a busy week and I see the claws are out and a full-on food fight has developed. If we’re going to have a food fight, I’m warning you all, I do a credible imitation of John Belushi in “Animal House.”

    On the issue of exclusivity: I absolutely expect it, and every SB I have had did as well- in fact they often raised the expectation with me before I even mentioned it. But IMO the definition of “arrangement” covers a massive spectrum. It can range all the way from SBs who are getting paid per encounter just for sex and don’t want to think of themselves as “escorts” (in my dictionary, the definition of that situation is “escorting” and I have no philosophical objections to the world’s oldest profession- in fact I think it’s hypocritical to criminalize an act between 2 consenting adults) to SDs who have a mistress, but don’t like to think of themselves as tied down, and like to think that they are in an arrangement instead.

    As a single, divorced SD with kids, plenty of obligations and demands on my time, I have no desire to remarry and start another family. I’ve found that women I meet in the conventional dating world inevitably want to go “there.” Ergo, an arrangement for me is a full-on relationship with the mutual understanding going in that neither party expects the relationship to lead to “happily ever after.”

    Lily’s point about “I’d be giving up an awful lot to be monogamous and *not* have the hope of long term security, so it would have to be one hell of an offer to make me acquiesce to that limitation” is perfectly valid- for her (and for many SBs in their 30s, I imagine.) The SBs I have had have all been full-time students in their early 20s, focused on their careers, sick of dating “boys”, and nowhere near ready for marriage, *but* also looking for all the benefits of a conventional, monogamous relationship. In effect, my SBs and I are looking for the same thing, and monogamy is a big part of it for both sides. There’s always a finite end point to the arrangement- usually their graduation- and in the interim we both get the benefits we seek without the potential pitfalls, and I am happy to ease her financial burdens and treat her as well as I would any traditional girlfriend, with the peace of mind of knowing the drama and expectations have been removed from the equation. Trust, honesty and communication are as much a part of an arrangement for me as a traditional relationship.

    My biggest problem with this blog- and one shared by many of the people who are also posting on the supposedly “secret” forum (if it’s a secret, I didn’t get my decoder ring, damnit!) was the outright censorship that occurred here several weeks ago. It is perfectly within the rights of the people who provide us with this forum to look after their own interests, and that’s obviously what happened here. A blog entry was posted inviting everyone to the site’s party in NYC. IMO, the concept of a “come one come all social event” is the complete antithesis of what the majority of SDs (and many SBs) expect from this type of activity. Especially for married SDs. This is not eHarmony, match.com or “Millionaire Matchmaker.” I would venture to guess that privacy and the ability to be discreet are hugely important factors to most of us here. In fact, I bet if members who joined this site got the impression that the owners’ judgement could jeopardize their privacy, it would not survive very long. So it was to be expected that SDs would post their opinions echoing my feelings: “You’d have to be crazy to attend such an event!” Those posts were deleted.

    That said, SA.com is *not* a 501(c) organization that exists for our benefit. It’s a business venture. The people who run this site obviously decided it was a good idea to host such a party to try and further build their brand and monetize the site. I don’t have a problem with that, even if I think it’s a poorly conceived stratagem. What I DO have a problem with is the blatant censorship to protect their own agenda. The WORST thing that could happen IMO is for someone here to blithely assume that there are no risks to attending this kind of event for people who often desire, nay *need* to have their identities protected. In particular, one person (with whom I have no issue personally) who has been associated with this site and posts regularly on this blog, came on immediately after the offending posts were deleted, and made a rather obvious attempt to promote the event and gloss over any potential risks. I was quite disillusioned with that entire episode (although I understand why the owners of the site did so) and I voted with my feet by not posting here for a couple of weeks. Who knows, this post may get deleted as well since I am once again pointing out facts that are counter to the self-interests of the people who are putting on said event.

    The most laughable thing to me is to see people ostensibly coming to big up this blog and talk down another forum where we can discuss our activities in this arena. Many online forums require registration to post- IMO that is neither definitively good or bad- if you don’t want to register, don’t join. People gossiping and talking behind each others backs?! I’m shocked I tell you, shocked, that NEVER happens anywhere else, does it? I have a lot less problem with some idle online chitchat than I do with deleting posts to protect one’s self-interest, perhaps to the detriment of SDs and SBs privacy, while purporting to have their interests at heart.

    I think this is the second time I’ve quoted Rodney King, “Can’t we all just get along?”

  179. ESB says:

    LISA I read you comments on your dad’s situation with medicare. When I was selling insurance, I specialized in Medicare and Medicare Supliments. If you still have my email, talk to me. Maybe together we can come up with something to help him.

    Midwest!! Hey darlin!! hope all is going great with you!!

    It’s 4:45 AM, I can’t sleep, thought I’d come on to see what was new and find all this snarky behavior going on… guess I didn’t miss much!!

    Hope all is well in sugar land! HUGS to all my dear friends!!

  180. LadyIntim says:

    All I have to say is…YOU GET MORE BEES WITH HONEY. That beins said, I had a great night with my quasi sugar daddy #1 (he acts like a husband)…and getting ready for a peaceful Sunday tomorrow…no SDs or any other humans around me as a matter of fact. Then Monday starting all over again and couldn’t be more excited. Crazy week coming! Oy vey!

  181. MindyNYC says:

    Hi ALL!
    I am sorry to see the all the bickering and drama going on (something a good SB prevents getting involved in at any cost lol). But I guess like all ‘families’ disagreements and misunderstandings are bound to arise. ‘Letting it out’ and ‘clearing the air’ can be healthy at times, as long as respect is present…For those that have an issue or disagreement, maybe you can contact each other and work it out off blog. I do hope that everyone can treat each other with the respect and kindness we’re all capable of…PEACE!

  182. Jade says:

    Don’t forget guys, someone can trace the ips on these blogs… so its never a good idea to be rude.

  183. DisgustedSD says:


    Yes, amazingly enough, I actually do have a life. I just got back from a trip to the Islands, and I am kicking back on a Saturday night (gasp).

    Reality can be harsh! Sometimes I say what other people won’t.

  184. LadyIntim says:

    Hi, Jade!

  185. LadyIntim says:

    Disgusted SD…I’m not taking sides…but that’s a pretty harsh statement. Entire Europe, really? Come on. Ugh! Are you seriously reading this blog on a Saturday night like I am? Get a life 🙂

  186. LadyIntim says:

    SouthernGent, yes it is true. I am hot. BUT I want you to know that it’s not easy being such a flawless model of perfection at all times… I know I make it Look that way, but the fact is that it’s a lot of hard work. LOL!
    I kid! In all reality I think I do alright for myself. At least I haven’t had any complaints so far 🙂

  187. Jade says:

    I do think it is important we hear the good the bad and the ugly truth!

  188. Jade says:

    So cranky people !

  189. Anna Molly says:

    I’m off to bed, didn’t get much sleep last night. I hope you all have a great evening. I will be back if my insomnia hits me again…ugh.

    Gute Nacht! Morgen ist ein neuer Tag! 😀

  190. DisgustedSD says:


    I would much rather hear the hardship stories and struggles of a real woman, that tells it like it is, and who understands the word discretion, then to endure the made up fantasy world of an sb who gets on her knee’s for the entire European SD population.

    Wake up!

    And you all wonder why the SD’s don’t come around much to the blog estrogen fest. Imagine that!

  191. Anna Molly says:

    I went to see Kick Ass…I loved it!! You should see it 😀

  192. Anna Molly says:

    Hey SG2! I went to a movie, haven’t been home long. What are you doing?

  193. SouthernGent2 says:

    You got a kind of walk that’s just so fine
    The way you fill those blue jeans baby, my my my

  194. SouthernGent2 says:

    Hello Anna Molly. What are you doing here on a Saturday night?

  195. Anna Molly says:

    Good evening! 🙂

  196. Tullulah says:

    I usely don’t give my two cents and just catch up on the blog when I can but I find Lily and Shoog to be hilarious and entertaining. Its clear that some are envious of their successes and intelligence, especially those who have been “poofed” on and are strugging right now. Jeeeez louise, we do not need to hear sob stories five times over on a daily basis. Moving forward and being thankful for those who wander in and outta our lives is what its all about, no use crying over poofed daddies. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and make the best of it rather than crying on the damn keyboard everyday over lost daddies and lack of pots.

    So tip of the cap to you, Lily and Shoogar for setting the precedent for SBs and not apologizing or dulling who you are. Its inspiring, really.

  197. SouthernGent2 says:

    Are you hot LadyIntim? 😉

  198. LadyIntim says:

    haha! wow! what great stories. Well, I don’t want to disclose too much info but I’m on the lower side of 20’s and I surely am glad I discovered this site (ON MY OWN) about a year and a half ago. Seriously changed my life and furnished opportunities I never thought were possible! I think if you play your cards right, SA can be an amazing tool that can assist women in achieving almost anything. The sky is the limit.

  199. Midwest says:

    I have a very rewarding career, but love the idea of arrangements and enjoy the (mostly) higher quality of men here. The allowance piece helps me accomplish some personal goals…I only wish I had known about the sugar lifestyle 25 years ago!

  200. You can feel free to email me through my blog, and we can exchange Q&A privately! I’ll spill my life story to you that way, if you have a minute!
    And thanks for the compliment! I don’t know if I’m any sort of extraordinaire, but the sugar lifestyle suits me plenty fine. It’s not my career, but it’s presently a huge part of my life. I can explain via private email correspondence.

  201. I’ve been here on the blog since early January, about 3.5 months. I have been on SA as an arrangement dating site for over a year, nearly a year and a half actually, but didn’t get active in finding sugar until 5 months ago.
    I have no affiliation with SA.
    Midwest was correct, until very recently, when I deleted the personal content from my blog and switched gears to writing my personal but general thoughts about arrangements. I just wanted to extend my viewpoint to other sugars who may benefit from the perspective I offer, since I’ve found success in the sugarbowl.

  202. LadyIntim says:

    Ok, that’s what I kind of assumed. Thanks for the clarification, Mid 🙂 So, Lily sounds like SB extraordinaire! Is she originally from US? Is sugar life kind of like your hobby/career, LIL? I’m totally fascinated with this!

  203. Midwest says:

    I’ve been on SA for about 6 months. I don’t have any other affiliation with SA, but am admittedly addicted to the blog and have come to care about those who post.

    Lily has been here for about months and her blog is to document her personal experiences in the sugar world overseas. Nobody here works for SA except for Stephan. I believe OC used to help with some of the blog functions, but doesn’t appear to be any longer.

  204. IM4U2DSIRE says:

    Midwest… It will be my pleasure to meet you in person. Lets keep in touch. =)

    Lisa… i read all your background 🙁 sorry for everything with your SD. I am a very positive person and everything happen for a reason something better will come for you =)

  205. LadyIntim says:

    I’m also very confused…Do Lily and Midwest work for SA? What’s up with Lil’s blog? Are you guys regular SBs or something else? I’m totally lost. Please inform.

  206. LadyIntim says:

    Guys, what does IMO stand for? Please enlighten me! Lisa! Enjoy your bath, sounds delicious. 🙂

  207. Midwest says:

    Cleo – Beach asked for you to e-mail her 🙂

  208. Lisa – hope after your bath you are much more relaxed than now, and can let all the stresses and negativity you’ve been under just melt away into the warm (maybe bubbly) water…..

    Deep breaths, everyone, deep breaths….. golden rule from elementary school is dancing in my head right now, “If you don’t have something nice to say…..”

  209. cleo says:

    hmm 8k/month for sex 8 times. imagine if you’d been hot for him

    as to the rest of this

    *takes deep breath and walks away now*

  210. Lisa says:

    You will come across alot of that type IM4U2DSIRE

  211. Midwest says:

    IAM4U – Let’s keep in touch. I live close to Chicago, but expect to be visiting the city in a few weeks.

  212. IM4U2DSIRE says:

    Thank you so much ladies for all your inside. I am not going to even move forward with that because I am looking for more than just a sexual relationship for money and is a very thin line on that. I will keep you posted in my adventures here in the sugar world. =)

  213. Lisa says:

    I have to say the past few days without their posts were most pleasant.

  214. Lisa says:

    ok ladies stop bashing the few sds that are on the blog. Personally I have found the two sbs that were the subject today to be very snobbish and rude most of the time on the blog. On a couple occasions I was chatting with someone on the blog, just casual chat and one of these people came on calling our conversation “vanilla”. I skip over those long drawn out posts because they bore me and are probably exagerated.

    Going to take a bath and relax. Have to work tomorrow. Have a good evening everyone. Hi Cleo

  215. Midwest says:

    Hi Cleo! Thanks, but no thanks! It’s why I refuse to take a management position. I don’t enjoy it. You are planning one helluva meet…can’t wait until Friday!!!

  216. cleo says:

    i don’t understand what happened here today but i’m glad i missed it.

    i thought shoogar’s post about lily was topical and relevant and explained sufficiently to those who weren’t here then. i further thought she remained calm and non confrontational and see not one iota of meanness in anything she wrote today.

    as for you calisd? didn’t your momma teach you that if you ain’t got anything nice to say don’t say anything at all? [and that ‘secret’ blog is linked from tons of girls’ blogs so it’s really secret for sure]
    midwest you should be a mediator or a judge or something, your calm firmness is refreshing and you are absolutely right that everything was blown out of proportion.

    but then that happens a lot

  217. Midwest says:

    IAM4U – ALWAYS, always, always trust your instincts!

    It sounds like pay for play and suspect at that. I would approach with caution. I suggest you ask about his prior sbs and also ask to verify who he is before meeting. Most genuine SDs may talk briefly about terms of an arrangement, but not in that kind of detail until after you meet.

  218. LadyIntim says:

    IM4U2Desire, you are not crazy. The bottom line is this: If you don’t feel good about doing something-don’t do it. I’ve accepted similar offers in the past and they’ve turned into solid long-term friendships and endless opportunities if not arrangements for me. But it’s you that has to live in your skin every day, so if it doesn’t feel right for you, it probably isn’t!

  219. IM4U2DSIRE- the offer was bogus. It would never have worked out like that, and definitely not long term. You are right to cut him loose, he isn’t behaving as a genuine SD would.

  220. LadyIntim says:

    Midwest, I hope LASB and I aren’t seeing the same SDs lOl! That would be hillarious! I wonder if her SD was a certified millionaire…if so then we could have a lot to chat about. Social media has shrunk the world! LOL

  221. Hey LadyIntim, email me through my blog if you want to get info about the sugar gatherings that I organize. 🙂

  222. IM4U2DSIRE says:

    Buenas tardes para todos… wow what a day for some of you guys i was expecting to find lots of sugar but ok… well i do have my first experience and i believe everybody is officially going to call me crazy for not to move forward with it… received an email and even spoke with the potSD. I live in Chicago (hello midwest!!!) and he lives like 2 hours away from here wants to meet 1 or 2 times x week in his town offers 1000k per visit. Tempting right? I do have an excellent job and i am looking for an arrangement but with chemistry he didnt even knew me in person and was talking about the agreement on the email right away (because he wanted the business side out of the way). I didnt accept because he just wanted me to go to have sex for 1000k per visit and i am looking for more than that (not the money) but the experience i am not an escort and thats how he made me feel. Am i crazy?

  223. LadyIntim says:

    Ok, it’s back to schoolwork for me. Why do I need this aggrovation 🙂 ! ?

  224. LadyIntim says:

    Holy macaroni! Midwest, you are a true wingwoman, I am pumped! My sugar callendar is overloaded at the moment, but I’m sure I’ll be more than happy to use a little help in the future. I think such wealth of sugar activity has to do with springtime! Where were all these SDs when I was bored out of my mind and searching? LOL. WHen it rains, it pours!

  225. CaliSD – please just relax and let it go. No one is enjoying you dragging this out. Perhaps it’s just that time of the month? Seriously, exhale.

  226. Midwest says:

    East Coast in May…quite a few New Yorkers and I know a few in VA and FL. There’s a nice SD in Atlanta and another in NC. I don’t know of anyone in Colorado, but believe LASB is an active skier there. Does that help at all?

    I don’t think you’re being too bad 🙂 I’ve come to learn it’s all in what we agree upon with our sb/sd. There’s a lot of flexibilty in arrangements which is nice.

  227. LadyIntim says:

    I think you might be right about New2this. If new to this is in fact an SD then the only way to solve this problem is by not being chicken with the credit card! swipe, swipe! hehe

  228. Midwest says:


    Sorry New2this… Could you help us out a bit please? 🙂

  229. LadyIntim says:

    Midwest, on Monday and Tuesday I am off to Colorado. I’m actually meeting a new SD there, followed up by reconnecting with an established one. Then, Wed through the weekend my main SD #2 is coming to visit me in my hometown and I couldn’t be more excited. Yes I am bad and it feels wonderful! 🙂 Aside from that I have upcoming trips to the East Coast…all within May. I’m not sure I can handle any more SDs at the moment. Lol.

  230. Midwest says:

    LadyI – I was wonding if new2this was an SD because I do think the SDs are required to have an upgraded account to communicate. She wouldn’t be receiving e-mails if a new account was awaiting approval.

    I didn’t reply as I’m not 100% certain about the upgraded sd profiles.

  231. LadyIntim says:

    New2this, you asked :

    hey guys…i have messages but cant read them, do i have to have a premium account to read them or is there another way?

    I’m assuming your are a sugar baby and not an SD. If my assumption is correct then no you do not need a premium membership to read your messages. You just need to have an approved profile with at least one approved photo. Your profile propbably hasn’t been approved by the site yet…once your profile is okay’d you’ll be able to access your mailbox. Sit back and let those e-mails roll in. Great fun and free entertainment value for sure! Cheers!

  232. CaliExecSD says:

    Midwest we never met. Anna Molly however ahhhh Anna 🙂

  233. Midwest says:

    LadyI – Well said. Plans are not firmly in place, but you will be the first to know 🙂 Where are you off to? I can let you know if there are any sb/sds in your wake.

  234. Midwest says:

    I’ve always found you to be above the drama that I’ve seen today. I looked up to you for many reasons. To continue to post slanderous remarks just adds to my personal disappointment.

    You have the ability to stop the drama here as well and you can return to providing the valuable advice and positive vibes that reflect that wise and sunny persona.

  235. LadyIntim says:

    CaliExecSD! No pressures here. Let’s start fresh. Attitude out the window! 🙂 Midwest, when are you planning on coming my way? I have a couple trips scheduled…would hate to miss ya !

  236. CaliExecSD says:

    Midwest it did stop for me I asked for my membership to be deleted. But those findings were quite mean to the SA sugars. Shameful
    All of this is not news to you. Honor is honor

  237. Midwest says:

    CaliSD – This needs to stop. It’s slanderous and childish. I honestly love your typically positive posts and great attitude, but something snapped.

    I honestly feel the entire dialogue got completely blown out of porportion.

  238. CaliExecSD says:

    Midwest don’t even get me started on what I stubled on to on the secret blog. The chat room was full of grand slams on all of those that blog on the SA blog. Nasty nasty caty girl stuff.
    I will defend those that post with care and love, not those that lurk and speak so poorly of others. Murky sugar waters indeed.
    I will not be a part of a a invite only group that rips others apart for amusement.
    The girls that post here are very sweet and I have enjoyed reading their posts. Like I said I am a gentleman and I will defend them.

  239. LadyIntim says:

    OK, everyone! I absolutely must get back to my homework. So much to do with so little motivation! Have a fabulous day, everyone…and I’ll be checking in later tonight. Asta la bye bye!

  240. LadyIntim says:

    BuxomBeauty! Lots of cosmic sprinkles going your way. I think most people would agree with the NSA assumption of an ARRANGEMENT. My situtaion with my current SD #1 got screwed up because he twisted and manipulated the situation to where he expects me to be exclusive. HE says he is exclusive to me, but as I mentioned earler I KNOW BETTER. Because I have seen it, I wont go into details. I’m not trying to play the victim here…After all if I hate it so much (which I DO), I should get out. But I choose not to. Because I consider my oppotunity cost. I’d rather keep quiet and play along with him, letting him think he has me fooled…until I graduate. One great thing about him is that he is consistent. SO, he can remain consistent when it comes to LYING…and PAYING my pricey tuition…his time will be up soon, but I’ll get what I want.

  241. Lisa says:

    Many want socialised medicine like Europe but they don’t realise socialised medicine isn’t like the private care they are used to, it’s like being on medicaid. Wealthy Europeans have their own insurance so they can get better care.

    Bye for now

  242. Lisa says:

    Well my parents are on medicare and their doctor refused to give my dad his prescription for high blood pressure medicine and my mom’s worried because the doctor doesn’t want to deal with them anymore because medicare doesn’t cover my dad’s visits anymore even though he’s diabetic and needs regular checkups. And his eye doctor know longer has him come in every 3 months for his eye screening. Getting a new doctor is hard because most don’t want to take new medicare patients because medicare covers less now. The plan is let the older citizens die because they’re a “burden”

    Gotta go for real now.

  243. Lisa says:

    Had to pop my head in to agree LadyIntim. Many people don’t like the wealthy but as my mom says “when was the last time a poor person hired you, gave you money, etc.

    Now back to my pot of coffee, no rhuburb here. I remember seeing alot of it when I was growing up in suburban Chicago but it’s not very common in Texas, most people don’t even know what it is.

    Later everyone

  244. Midwest says:

    I think they forced an incomplete bill through just to get something done and to look good. I think it will have a huge impact on the quality of care and penalize those who need it the most. Private hospitals are already popping up everywhere for those who can pay and competition for corporately insured patients is at a p cut-throat ace.

    I say put a group of 8th graders in a room and they could have come up with a much better solution!

    That may be the last for the sbs being on the payroll with benefits!

  245. buxombeautylv says:

    Wow what cynicism and snark abounds on this lovely day! I hope everyone is doing well…

    Based on my experience in sugar land, I have to agree with Lily that generally speaking the sugar bowl is not the place for finding exclusive relationships. It’s cool if one enters an arrangement agreeing to that up front, AND the SD is able and WILLING to provide for 100% of the SB’s sugar needs/wants, but that is a very rare SD indeed. I personally have never met one who fit that description, but must say, I’d be thrilled if I did and we clicked 🙂

    I also agree that in general, the SB would be placed at a disadvantage by entering an exclusive arrangement, so the SD should feel obliged to compensate for that.

    Also agreed that an arrangement generally means NSA (just read all the profiles that include something to that effect), and NSA definitely means not-exclusive. Hence, it would be necessary to negotiate for exclusivity up front.

    I’m curious to know how everyone’s doing lately! It’s a beautiful day here – sending out good vibes! 🙂

  246. LadyIntim says:

    Midwest, is Stephan in charge of the blog? I’m pertty new to the blog, not SA itself, but its fun to see how the whole thing operates. So, what is possibly brining you this way? A pot SD? I’d love to learn more about you…and possibly help you feel more comfortable coming out here…Let’s hope its not too hot! If you aren’t used to this heat it can get pretty brutal!

  247. LadyIntim says:

    Lisa, I agree with you 100% regarding the healthcare and all the upcoming changes…I’m sure most SDs on here aren’t too happy about the recent 6% tax increase. They wealthy are being penalized for being successful-what a shame. I don’t want to cause anymore disagreement but if you ask me this is socialism at it’s finest. I see red=communism.

  248. Midwest says:

    Stephan – Could you please share my e-mail with LadyInterim? Thank you!

    Chicago is cold, but wonderful in the Summer and Fall. I grew up in So. FL , so it was culture shock for this southern girl!

  249. LadyIntim says:

    LOL! Lisa, you are so right! …it’s only Saturday-I’m such a dumbledoor! Sometimes I just loose track of time. I can’t describe how wonderful this unusually cool AZ weather is right now. I am brewing a large pot of coffee and baking strawberry rhuburb muffins…It’s 2 pm and I got up extra early to greet this day head on!!! He he!

    Hi, Midwest! That’s an idea. We should definitely discuss. I’ve never been to Chicago-BRR! 🙂

  250. Lisa says:

    I’m hardcore republican. The health care bill is a bunch of crap. My dad’s medicare has been cut so much he had to pay 120 dollars last doctors visit when his visits for the last 10 years were covered by medicare and his expensive suplimental insurance. This country is headed down.

    I go onto to different sites where they have various blogs with people talking politics, social topics about things I loathe (like welfare and foodstamps, etc) when i’m in the mood. I like this blog best for light chat but many times I don’t feel welcome by some of the newer members.

    Got to fix something to eat now. I’ll check back later

  251. Midwest says:

    Lisa – what political blogs? Conspiracy theory? Republican? Democrat? Can you give me a crash course on the health care bill?

  252. Lisa says:

    Yes the last few days were so nice and I even spent alot of time here, back to the same old crap now I guess, time for me to go back to my political blogs

  253. Midwest says:

    Hi Lisa and LadyI!

    LadyI- There’s a chance I will be visiting your neck of the woods if all goes well. I would love to meet you! I’m in the Chicago region if you ever find yourself this way.

  254. Lisa says:

    it’s a sunny saturday here, lol

    I guess some people just like to throw hissy fits on the blog, lol

    Nice a peaceful here, birds are singing

  255. Midwest says:

    I’m shocked and disappointed at the behavior I have seen today. It’s the whole reason I spend less time here.

    Stormcat – You’re most welcome. You two have been together long enough to know what will and won’t work for you. Best of luck!

  256. Lisa says:

    Good afternoon

    Just got home from work

  257. LadyIntim says:

    Cali Exec, OC, Lils, Storm, Molly! What’s up with all the drama on this sunny sunny Sunday? Can’t we all just get along? Lets relax and focus on what’s important…ME. LOL. Seriously though!

  258. Anna Molly says:

    Do I need to get Naughty Molly in here? Lol

  259. CaliExecSD says:

    Now playing coy will not work with this smart SD, Lily. But suit yourself.

  260. I think if you scroll up and see the long, full of content, posts that Storm and I have posted on the same subjects, he and I have a lot we could potentially want to bounce off each other via email.

  261. CaliExecSD says:

    Lily spam is spam… Just calling a spade a spade.

  262. Stormcat says:

    Hey lipstick . . . Thanks, what a nice compliment. I’ll check it out when I get back to my laptop.
    Caliexecsd – no worries mate.

  263. CaliExecSD please don’t assume you know what I want to communicate with Stormcat about! To ASSUME is to make an ASS out of U and ME.

  264. Naughty Molly says:

    You are very welcome BTW 😀

  265. CaliExecSD says:

    Hi Anna Molly. Thanks for the picture btw. Very nice

  266. CaliExecSD says:

    Storm she wants to invite you to their secret club or sugar site. I just deleted my membership. Not into exclusive invite only venues.

  267. Naughty Molly says:

    Hi Everyone 🙂

  268. Naughty Molly says:

    Hi CaliExecSD!! I remember you 😀

  269. Stormcat – I would love to email with you off blog? Click my name through to my personal blog and email me if you like.

  270. CaliExecSD says:

    Hey it worked just fine. Ok, I haven’t posted since Christmas time, but I have a bit more time. Hey OC! Just emailed you.

  271. CaliExecSD says:

    Hello? Once I master posting on my Blackberry this will be much easier!

  272. No, a fabulous day!! But thanks for asking. Just trying to clear up your “what the heck” comment. 🙂

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Well Shoogar I will remove myself from the target range. Glad you are having a fabulous day!
      I too have feelings…

  273. If my post did not make sense or confused anyone else, feel free to DELETE IT. Makes zero difference to me.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Shooger, such meaness towards me. Not necessary. If you want something deleted you can contact SA.
      Wow, bad day? I am having a great day… blowing you some sugar love… 3>

  274. I have to remind you, sugar sister, that we meet again, with drinks in hand, to tear up a new continent, in LESS THAN TWO WEEKS!!!! whoop!

  275. OC is right that it’s not the SD’s job to look after making your goals happen, but I start to forget that there’s any other reason for an SB to seek an SD, other than to align herself with a man with the means to help her get her life from point a to point b, whatever that may be. If your life is already just how you want it and sugar is just pure recreational icing on the cake, then that’s great!

    stormcat wrote:

    Your whole post seems to assume that the arrangement is to be at least one of: short lived, NSA, tricky negotiations, conflicting wants and needs, somebody poofing, nothing left after the ride.

    and I have very little experience with that type of negative sugar activity, but I have read several posts on this blog that seem to sugget that it’s the norm, and the sugar lifestyle that you and I, (and a few other seasoned bloggers here) are seeking to create.

    I think it’s great that you’d like to assist your SB in a myriad of ways, it shows a generous heart. I think there are just so many predator SDs out there, and SBs who aren’t really looking out for themselves, or turning bitter by their encounters by user-type men, and it’s a downward spiral in terms of how they are treating one another. At least if you use the posts on this blog as representative at all with what’s happening out there. It could be horribly askew with reality, I have no idea.

    NYGent, I think it’s groovy and rad that you are a single SD with monogomy to offer and that you desire an exclusive relationship with one SB whom you also plan on stepping up for and completely providing all her possible sugar needs for.

    I have yet to meet such a man, or even a man with half of those qualities.

    But Stormcat and I agree about building a hopefully lasting friendship and alliance within arrangements, that can last long after the arrangement has ended. (I love it! Friendships! goody!) I just don’t think that everyone who joins SA is also planning to behave with their very best intentions, and it’s good to be realistic without getting cynical.

    I’m also a little negative today because my IRL girlfriend (who I met on SA, but turns out she lives across the street from me) is on a date with a potSD, abroad, and it’s going horribly for her. He’s definitely trying to shaft her/use her, and I have no idea how it ended up so badly, but I’d bet any future Louboutins I may own that it’s because of a lack of clear,oepn, and honest communication before meeting. I’m seriously thinking of intervening and booking her a flight home so she can get the hell out of there and back to our neighborhood.

  276. OC – I wasn’t stating a fact that anyone was cutting anyone down. If you read my post, I was mostly referring to my own confrontation with Lily from the past. This song wasn’t about you or anyone else in particular. Just general statements.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Ok, Shooger, it is just that your post did not make sense to anyone else.
      If you and Lily had past issues, the new folks did not know.
      Your statements seemed to me that you were telling us to not
      post our experiences or preferences. No one is judging another.
      You have been gone for a bit, we are just playing on the sugar
      blog having fun and welcoming the new sugar bloggers!
      Glad you came back 🙂

  277. PS – still had my old ‘screen name’ saved. I’m NOT still recovering as it was 2 weeks ago, but DO miss my sugar sister! 🙂

  278. You’re absolutely right, Shoogar. I wrote all that blahblahblah mostly directed towards the experiences I am reading about on this blog. This is all heresay, who knows what is really happening out there in the north american sugarbowl (of which I have next to no experience with), but this particular blog topic is filled with recounts of sugar experiences that don’t sound terribly sweet.

    I don’t think that there is anything wrong with a 2 choosing to be mongomous! Nothing in the world! It’s a lifestyle I hope I find for myself someday, if the right opportunity presents itself.

    I think every single person here agrees that openness and honesty, and outlining expectations at the outset is key. I have always done that. I have discussed exclusivity, monogomy, and how I view how sugar fits into my normal life opennly from the get-go with every sugar I’ve even initiated communications with. And I’ve followed through. They’re demands have sometimes been, “I know there’s other men, but I prefer if we pretend there aren’t” type of requests, which then, when fulfilling, I’ve been flamed on this blog for being a cloak & dagger type of SB.

    I have only had experiences with married SDs who do not want me to put my life on hold in any way, for them. They want to be a side dish to my life, not my entree, and would be genuinely happy for me if I met someone, fell in love, and switched gears into a traditional romance, although they’d probably be sad to be pushed into a fully platonic role into my life.

    If I met a great single SD who wanted it to be us and only us, I’d be open to that. I wouldn’t think of it as a pure NSA sugar arrangement, though….but rather a generous boyfriend of sorts, even if it’s not geared towards thinking towards a long-term-future.

    potato, potatoe. Everyone just be kind and honest to one another. The golden rule, right? Treat others…..

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      What are you talking about Shooger? Maybe I missed something.
      No one was cutting down another. We are just having fun posting.
      What the heck?

  279. Stormcat says:

    here here! 🙂

  280. I would like to mention something here…

    I have been guilty of trying to set a certain standard for SBs on this very blog. (In particular, I personally had a bit of a confrontation with Lily right here – as some of you may remember.) Most of my actions were driven by others’ beliefs and a retaliation against her brought on by some things that I feel now were somewhat misconstrued evoked by her lively, high-spirited, vigorous posts. It was never my place to intervene and I only wanted to help calm the masses. It is one thing to openly criticize someone and another to offer a sound voice. Although, I felt I was eloquent in my delivery, it was something I should have taken off-line with her.

    Since then, I have met Lily in person and find she travels her road with good intentions only. Our roads may not always run side by side and we have somewhat different approaches in the sugar world, but it is merely because I’m not her and she isn’t me.

    My point: We are quick to place our own beliefs and opinions on others when we should really be focused on our own paths and destinations. Giving advice is wonderful. Making absolute statements towards others’ beliefs or cutting them down is taking away from the time we should be using to embrace and improve on our own shortcomings. The world is large with vast possibilities for all and I’m not going to pick and choose what’s right or wrong for another individual, simply because I have not walked one iota of a day in their shoes.

    The End.

  281. New2this says:

    hey guys…i have messages but cant read them, do i have to have a premium account to read them or is there another way?

  282. In my humble opinion, for what it’s worth. I don’t believe there is a RIGHT or WRONG way to approach sugar dating.

    The bottom line is pretty simple and applies to other pursuits in life as well; not just sugar/arrangements. The only intelligent way to handle is to have an idea in mind of what you would like. Next step, align yourself with potentials who also have the same mindsets and goals. From there, you hope to go into an arrangement with someone where only TWO people ultimately can judge whether it is working out. YOU and YOUR SIGNIFICANT SUGAR. Period.

  283. Stormcat says:

    Wow Lils . . . you really went for the long post this time! There’s so much good content in your comments that I don’t know what to think about first.
    Your whole post seems to assume that the arrangement is to be at least one of: short lived, NSA, tricky negotiations, conflicting wants and needs, somebody poofing, nothing left after the ride.

    I personally choose to participate in this lifestyle because I like the people I’ve met here. I take my SD role very seriously and work very hard to maintain my end of the bargain even when circumstances make that very difficult. I hope that even if my arrangement ends formally, I’ll still have a friend for life. I asked my current SB what her goals are and she was very evasive about answering. So, I let it drop because because I value privacy but it also means that I don’t get the pleasure of helping or advising her. It could also mean that she is just working me and I’m being duped emotionally, but currently the benifits are worth the price. If that changes, I’ll look for a graceful way out, that keeps the connection intact and allows the friendship to continue.

    While it is otherwise for most people, on this site, my view is that sugar dating isn’t a transitory condition but is the pentultimate relationship lifestyle, allowing an unusual individual, like myself, the best chance of finding a situation that accomidates my preferences.

    Do I dare say here that INITIALLY every newbie SB who comes to this site is experiencing some kind of financial or emotional crisis. That is a very vulnerable condition for them and that makes SA really attractive to predators. There must be many encounters between new SBs predatory SDs because so many SB profiles contain an emphatic statement something like “If you don’t know what _____ means then don’t bother contacting me!”

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Ok, so my Sugar and I discussed this in detail last night.
      NSA = NOT exclusive

      Sorry NYGent not all SD’s feel that they would end the sugar
      arrangement if they knew their SB had other SD’s.
      He and I agreed that it is not not plausable for any one sugar
      to play in this fantasy sugary world and not want to have it all.
      However he did state that you need to choose your sugar
      well and if you are not choosing well you may “break a sweet tooth”
      so to speak on a sugar that is a bit too hard or hardened!
      We agree if you want exclusivity… Put a RING on it.

      • OCSugarBaby says:

        Hi Lily! Having a plan or outline of how you want your
        life to look like is not the duty of the SD to ask for.
        Having it written down or at least outlined in your head then
        putting it to paper is the SB’s responsibility. That is only if she
        wants to change her current situation.
        Nothing really becomes reality unless you can see yourself
        actually doing those things. All of my SD’s have helped me
        with my goals. They knew I had a career and that I worked hard
        to get where I was currently. However their mentoring and financial
        assistance would greatly help my goals. I don’t think I would have
        ever chosen a SD that did not have the brilliant mind and the
        true caring desire to see me reach those goals.
        I loved your post, so glad you still play in the original Sugar World! lol

  284. ESB says:

    good Morning sugar Family!! I’ve taken a vaca from the sugar world, not sure if I’m back or not, but thought I’d stop in and see how everyone is doing. Got some catching up to do!! I hope everyone is doing GREAT!!

  285. Sorry that was so hard to read and full of mistakes! first sentence of last long paragraph should have read, “I w ould venture……. (), but does he realize that leaves the lady in question at a disadvantage……?

    buxom said it better: Besides, if I want exclusivity, I’ll go the conventional romance/marriage route where I could have more security.

    Exactly. That’s the only sane standpoint for a young beautiful woman who understands that her looks and marketability on the marriage market declines a bit every year. For her to jump into an exclusive arrangement with an SD, and shutting her eyes to all possible other options out there (ignoring men seeking marriage with her, ignoring other arrangement opportunities which may be more well-suited to her career path or other goals, etc) is kind of naive. She’ll be completely at square 1 when the arrangement ends. But if it’s important enough to the SD, he’ll factor that into the arrangement specifications, and do the moral thing and actually care about what her life will look like at the conclusion of the arrangement, and plan and provide for that, as an emotionally committed friend and SD.

    I’ve heard of dream SDs who will actually ask their SB during the pre-arrangement dating and discovery period, where she would like to go (goals-wise, and in terms of how sugar would be used to help her get there) and how she would like her life to look like, in all regards, at the conclusion of the arrangement. Then they outline a tentative plan about how she will arrive at those goals, and he’d be genuinely happy and is prepared to pour resources up-front to make her goals come to fruition with as high a likelihood as possible, so when the arrangement is over, he has left her life much better off than when he found her.

    That’s the exception and not the norm, unfortunately. Most sugars view an arrangement as a temporary fling to pass the time during a random, listless, confused interim period in their life, and because nothing fulfilling has presented itself in the non-sugar-bowl for such needs for appreciation and companionship. Or married sugars who qiute simply crave novelty and who will be short-lived with their arrangements indeed. If you aren’t with a gem SD who cares about where your life is going and how your future looks, committing exclusivity and monogomy to him without pricing it into the allowance, is stupid.

    And when I say exclusivity, I mean no one goes out on dates with others, explores their options (other SDs, traditional boyfriend potentials) AT ALL. I think that’s a bigger cost to the SB, and one I would be willing to offer only under extraordinary terms of an extraordinary arrangement.

    Monogomy is not such a big price to pay, to avoid having sex with multiple partners (and has positive side-effects to her and her SD’s health). You can keep your eyes open but keep your legs crossed, and then if something else interesting comes up, go to your primary partner and re-negotiate the terms or sever the arrangement in favor of a more appealing option. I’d be much more willing to offer monogomy to an SD, if it made sense, rather than romantic exclusivity, where I’d feel prohibited from even keeping my eyes open in my regular life to all the various options out there for different types of relationships.

  286. NYGent said: “But any single SD who finds out his SB is a multiple player will, IMO, end it quickly, unless an open relationship was agreed to from the get go.”

    Of *course* if you are a gal with a single SD who is being monogomous to you, and you have not agreed upon an open relationship, and she’s out gallavanting with traditional dating scenarios or sugar scenarios with others, you’d end the relationship quickly.

    NSA means No Strintgs Attached. Exclusive rights over someone’s sexual activity is a huge STRING. Which is fine, if you agree up front that it’s desired from both sides. Otherwise, NSA is “open,” by default. Those who require monogomy in their arrangement should definitely be very clear about that from the get go, and read their partners body language very carefully during that discussion and hear their words (not what you want to hear), to be sure that they are genuinely of the exact same mind. Just my advice.

    Married SDs who have several children, a wife, multiple homes, extended family, and more than one career to juggle, may indeed feel some relief to not imagine their SB sitting home alone with her hands folded in her lap, if they get crazy slammed w/ life and aren’t really able to ‘jump’ when she says ‘jump’ in terms of things that typically an SB would turn to an SD for (sex, sugar, company, whatever). When the arrangement is long distance, it makes even more sense, as weeks may go by where they are wrapped up in other things and unable to travel to see their SB, and don’t want to feel that she’s out there with all her eggs committed to his basket, whereas he can’t really reciprocate, however much he may wish to.

    In the traditional world, how often do people refer to Friends with Benefits? Are these relationships EVER exclusive and mongomous? An arrangement is a friends with benefits scenario, where some of those benefits are financial. I really disagree with the idea that the status quo is monogomy, and to be expected by default. Exclusivity demands are the typical ‘string’ that ladies on this site are looking to avoid, and what we think of when we think ‘no drama!’ I figured it would be equally thus, for the men.

    If you are single and you are doing the “SD thing” and desire the trappings of a more traditional boyfriend/girlfriend thing, why not just call a spade a spade and call her your girlfriend, and you her generous boyfriend who spoils her rotten and/or takes care of her living expenses because of a palpable economic disparity? What part of a traditional relationship would a single SD not desire? The expectations of the desire for a future together to possibly exist? When a single SD, who wants the big exclusivity commitment, desires an arrangement and not a girlfriend, what “strings attached” is he looking to avoid?

    I venture to guess that the main string such an SD would want to sever from a relationship in order to call it sugar (i.e. the string of tentatively planning on perhaps a future together, thus leaving your conscience clear to sever the relationship cleanly at any point, maybe even without a goodbye), leaves the lady in question at a disadvantage, in terms of laying groundwork for future security? Do you factor that in as a heavy cost of doing business (for her) into her allowance? I hope so. If that’s the case, I have no problem with men wanting to choose their monogomous romantic partners from the sugar bowl, with monthly allowance payments high enough for both to understand that what he’s mostly buying is his option to poof without warning at any time. If he understands that is why he’s in the sugarbowl, and not out there in traditional dating land, and why he’s paying $$$, that’s self-aware. If she understands that’s why she’s getting paid, that’s awesome because hopefully she’ll save up that money and have it to cushion her during her SD-less interim period when he does eventually poof.

    Realistic expectations. This isn’t the site we come to when we wanna fall in love, so why not be as open, explicit, and calculating as possible, in order to be as fair as possible to all parties?

  287. valencia says:

    I just wanted to say it was a pleasure getting to know yall. I will be leaving SA. Have a good life and stay sweet sugars! 🙂

  288. buxombeautylv says:

    On the subject of exclusivity, I absolutely will not agree to it.

    One of the best parts of a sugar relationship is the whole concept of “my, your, OUR life”. I want the arrangement to remain separate from the rest of our respective lives because it makes the relationship that much nicer…less drama potential, more of a relaxed environment and even a little bit of an escape. In my experience, we both enjoy it more that way.

    Besides, if I want exclusivity, I’ll go the conventional romance/marriage route where I could have more security. Even then I think it’d be naive to think he’d never ever be with anyone else, especially considering how many SDs are married! I would just expect that we be considerate and open with each other rather than keep secrets and lies. I have learned much in the sugar world that I will eventually carry into the rest of my life. I certainly won’t be some bored housewife sitting home while my husband is out galavanting with younger women! LOL

  289. buxombeautylv says:

    LadyIntim says:
    April 22, 2010 at 2:32 pm

    I know that this won’t sit well with most SBs on here, but I believe in per diem allowance. I have a monthly allowance with my SD #1 and that gives him the right to see me as much as he wants. IN the future I will avoid such arrangements.

    A monthly allowance does not automatically entitle a SD to you anytime he wants. The approximate visiting arrangements should be negotiated up front along with the allowance amount. In future I would advise you to seek monthly arrangements where the approximate visitation time is agreed upon up front, rather than avoid a monthly arrangement entirely. 🙂

    I’ve been away a couple days with life. The 2nd pot meet I mentioned earlier this week was good 🙂 🙂 🙂

  290. Stormcat says:

    One other thought about exclusivity – When one is expecting exclusivity and it has been agreed on, some of the precautions normally taken by that person may become more relaxed. Violating exclusivity without giving the other person notice not only puts that person at higher risk of being exposed to an STD but takes away their choice to defend themself. I believe that is egregious.

  291. Stormcat says:

    Hey NYGent.
    I believe the notion you are addressing evolved from a casual comment made in the context of an SD demanding exclusivity from his SB while he himself was seeing several SBs. Regardless, that arrangement endures, albeit unhappilly! I think that all types of people are in arrangements. Some exclusive some not! I think that is why it is called an arrangement. Because the parties involved choose the terms of the relationship rather than accepting society dictated terms of more traditional relationships. However, as you say, exclusive or not, It has to be agreed upon openly.

  292. cleo says:

    nygent that’s exactly my perspective

    if you’re single and intend to be exclusive i can agree to that and enjoy/thrive in that.

    if you are married i don’t want to open myself to that. i don’t get to be jealous if you have sex with your wife, so you don’t get to be jealous when you’re not around. that said, anything you do has to be honest.

    i wouldn’t promise to be exclusive and then date around. i am far more likely to demand openness and act exclusive anyway but i want it to be my decision. if you’re married.

    if not? we decide together what we do. actually that’s true either way. the decision has to be made together. to my mind if you can’t be honest with your sugar who CAN you be honest with?

  293. IM4U2DSIRE says:

    Stormcat, Thank you so much for your reply. I dont mind if you guys see my profile i believe the number is 457686. Let me know what do you think. Have a great night!!! =)

  294. NYGent says:

    lost track of who said what, but the notion that SD’s prefer their SB’s to have multiple SDs to relieve the SD’s sense of financial obligation is false. True SDs want to be the only SD for their SB and the SDs who want their SBs to have other SDs to lessen the financial burden can be described in a word: cheap.

    Also any SD who learned his SB had 4-5 other SDs would , IMO, quickly end the sugar relationship. Many of us would end it if we found out there was even one other SD (unless this was agreed as ok up front). It is a little different for married SDs, they are not in much of a position to demand monogomy from their SBS. But any single SD who finds out his SB is a multiple player will, IMO, end it quickly, unless an open relationship was agreed to from the get go.

  295. LadyIntim says:

    Stormcat, I LOVE, LOVE your idea of friendly strangers from the blog 🙂 How cool would that be??? Also, I get the feeling that there aren’t any AZ sbs on the blog…as I would love nothing more than to have a partner in crime and sa buddy who can relate to my sugar extreme haha

  296. Stormcat says:

    IM4U2DSIRE: Unless it changed while I was away, you have to post your profile number in order for us bloggers to look you up. That is something to think about. Some people are uncomfortable posting identifying information on the blog.

  297. TexasSugah.. says:

    Lisa –

    Girl I read that profile, I was like are you serious?????? He’s in Houston too and is NOT attractive. I mean really, cmon. Plus the income is extremely low. He must want his wife to eat cheerios.

    Years ago I flew to meet a SD.. well now I know that’s what he was, to Phoenix. We stayed out in Scotsdale. It was a nice trip. I was much younger and now have a child. I don’t know if I really want to do that again.

    Strangely, I have dated rich and married poor..

    As to the kiddo/wife thing.. I get that ALL the time. I’m talking to a guy now that I like. He wants the whole enchilada complete with a child. I’ll never have to work again if I agree. He’s a great guy but we’ve yet to see how it really goes. He’s a local. He would make a perfect sugardaddy but I met him on a regular dating site… he wants commitment.

    With the skills I’ve learned here I’m dynamite on the regular dating sites. But I won’t do the average joe thing.

    I wonder about this closed store shopper.. was he a black psychologist???

    Night ya’ll

  298. IM4U2DSIRE says:

    Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I am totally new at this site (created my profile this month) it has been a couple of days since i started reading all your blogs and really enjoy them. Just want to introduce myself. Hoping to have some adventures to share with you in the future. =)

    Let me know what you all think about my profile… would love some feadback.

  299. JSB says:

    Stormcat great advice!!

    Night everyone…sweet dreams!

  300. Stormcat says:

    Midwest, LadyI – Thanks for your perspectives. I met my SB today and we had a good discussion about the situation. I felt that it was so nice that we could just talk and although none of the issues vaporized in the brillience of our conversation, we did lay everything out on the table and both of us felt that we could work it out over time. So, we are still togather, for now, at least!

    I don’t know anymore how I feel about sugar monogamy. I haven’t got any self rightous attitudes about regular monogamy so how can I expect that I would feel a need for or even expect exclusivity in sugarland. Yet when I say this and think about my own SB possibly being non-exclusive I feel a sadness that is undeniable.

  301. Stormcat says:

    Hey Sugarland. . . . Midwest, Cleo, LadyI, RED MARU Aww Thanks 🙂 , Lisa, Southern . . .

    I’ve travelled to first meets 5 or 6 times and actually prefered it. In one of those cases, the date was short lived but afterward I met with an SB from the blog and we just hung out. I ended up having a way better time with my blog friend than with the arranged date baby. So that made me think that for anyone planning a meet in a distant town, it’s an excellant opportunity to hang with friends from the blog and transform their virtual friendship into real one. Just let the blog know where you’re visiting and you will be pleased that someone in that locale may offer a back-up meet at their favorite local dive where you will be welcomed by all kinds of friendly fun strangers!

  302. LadyIntim says:

    Although meeting an out of state SD does present potential complications and risks, I believe that the opportunity is feasible and worth exploring. There are always multiple steps you can take in order to avoid seroius problems. Clearly, there is a certain pre-screening procdess. And after a year and a half on this site I think most of us can pretty much spot a fake from a mile away…especially when it comes down to business. Secondly, I personally always have my best guy friend take me to and pick me up from the airport when I travel. Before I leave I always give him my coordinates, tell him where I am going, who I am going to be with and always give him the potential SD’s cell phone number and e-mail. Also, I always call and text upon meeting the pot. SD to let my guyfriend know that I am safe and sound. If he hasn’t heard from me by a certain time he will know something’s up. Its always nice to have a close friend you trust …I know that nothing is guaranteed but I think that it’s better than just pepperspray…

  303. LadyIntim says:

    Lisa, that just sucks! I guess I live in an area that is frequented by all kinds of Sds…I live in AZ. Here if you don’t have a car, you aren’t going anywhere as everything is so spread out. I wish you could travel more. I know it sounds crazy and risky but I have actually had a lot of luck with out of state SDs. For example, I have a new potential SD that I am meeting this coming Monday in a neighboring state. As I posted earlier he has already forwarded all the travelling expenses + half of the agreed upon allowance via Paypal…so even if the whole deal is a bust, I’ll still come up ahead. I totally agree with not giving up work for an SD. My whole thing is that i am a fulltime student…and still have a couple years to go until I am completely done. So, the sugar and the opportunities that I get on here are about 10 times of the money I would be earning working some crappy job now.

  304. cleo says:

    midwest: okay good, but i felt it worth mentioning

    i wouldn’t encourage first meets to be at the sd’s location (never at his house) but at the same time if you talk to someone for a while and want to meet them and they hmm… do everything in their power to make you feel safe and comfortable?

    why not?

    perspective always helps, but that said, i have spent a lot of my life learning to take care of myself and i trust that i can do that… as long as i’m not an idiot abot how i arrange it

    like it’s better to get money and book your own ticket for ex…

    that said, i would be far more cautious if i had a kid 🙂

  305. Midwest says:

    Cleo – I would be the LAST person to stay holed up in a hotel room…a weekend can be salvaged even if the date is a complete loss.

    Still- I am also going to be the LAST to encourage anyone to go to an sd for a first date.

    If perspective helps…I used to have a false sense of safety and got away with it for a long time. Now that I have my son, I don’t behave as wrecklessly. I have always wanted to go skydiving, but will wait until he is older.

  306. cleo says:

    midwest if your hotel is prepaid and you’re somewhere awesome i don’t understand why you would sit in your hotel room. personally i would go out and explore and hit a local bar/beach/attraction while i waited for my flight home…

    i mean i know people have had horrible experiences but i’m not sure the travelling is what does it. i’ve had some pretty lame dates right here in this town.

    that said? i can pay if i have to you know

  307. Midwest says:

    Hi sugars!

    My former SD and I were both rookies when we entered the arrangement. The good news is we were well-informed by our blog friends and all went very well! You have to start somewhere!

    Couldn’t a rookie sb be guided on the fine art of being YOUR sb?

    I wouldn’t give up my career for my SD. I love it too much. I would be happy to go to part-time if I knew for certain he was committed to providing the difference. I know that leap of faith works for a few, but I’m not typically a gambling lady.

    As for going to see your sd…too many times you hear of sbs who had horrible experiences or long, disappointing weekends in a hotel room because the chemistry just wasn’t there. I would only go to see an sd for our first meet as a last resort…but that’s just me. Having a friend to fall back in the area and the ability to cover my expenses if needed would be another back-up plan.

    On a good note, I revamped my profile with great results so far! Yay!

  308. Lisa says:

    There is a man on the other site that has a large profile about how he is looking for his wife and wants to have lots of children. This man is like 55 and is looking for a younger woman. I doubt many young woman are looking to marry some old guy who is average income (less than 100k and has a minor child to pay child support to) and have lots of children. I think the young sbs are looking to keep their own lives but want some help to achieve their goals, where as the older sbs like myself do not want to start having a big family now.

  309. Lisa says:

    I’m sad as my favorite 90’s singer Bret Michaels is critical with a stroke. Looks like he will die. I spent all my savings back in 1990 for front roll seats when he came to HOuston.

  310. Lisa says:

    TexasSugah I still haven’t gotten over that date from hell you had with mr “lets buy you something” after the store was closed. I remember a blogger having that same experience last year, wonder if it was the same guy?

    The ones I was talking to the last weeks were so vague and would barely say two words, let alone discuss an arrangment. I’m not particularly enthused about meeting for just coffee, I do that all the time with my parents. So back to 0 potentials because if they drag their feet for two weeks or poof when you mention allowance, they aren’t worth the effort.

    My most recent sd was hugging me as he was getting ready to leave last time I saw him and he talked about what we were going to do next week and said he wanted our relationship to go on for awhile then he poofed. He emailed me the next week said he’d keep in touch and since then he’s online all the time, ignored my emails, etc. This man had a plan to on how he was going to help me in the coming months. He did pay for my apartment so i’m still benefiting from his generousity but it is just disappointing.

  311. RedMaru says:

    Hey sugars!
    Knocked out all day with a bad headache! Its finally ebbing down. I seemed to have missed alot. Awwww I missed Stormcat darn! Like lisa I tend to question the non paying SDs on SA and some of the paying ones too.

  312. TexasSugah.. says:

    Hey ya’ll…

    I’ve been away with life.

    Lisa is completely correct. Houston SDs are pretty bad. You’d think this would be the spot but.. nope.

    I agree with her. I wouldn’t take off for a month for anyone. I am fortunate that I have a good job and couldn’t anyway. Except in the summer. I wouldn’t trust a SD to be my full support. You would have to have a contract. Unfortunately, SDs poof… No strings attached.

    Just like sugar is extra in your diet.. it has to be in your lifestyle as well.

    Just my two cents.

  313. Lisa says:

    Yes the nonpaying sds cannot communicate with sbs. I find a trend in my city where there will be several new sds that join and have blank profiles with kinda stupid headlines like “hey baby” or just brousing and these sds never log on again. They have to create an account to views sbs profiles so they do it just to look at the pictures. If a man can’t pay the monthly fee, how is he going to pay an allowance? Paying sds can be fakes too as many people have the money to throw away every month to stay on dating sites forever.

  314. JSB says:

    do you think the non paying SD accounts and paying SD accounts make a difference on the quality of the guy?

  315. Lisa says:

    I wouldn’t mind traveling if I could find an sd that would pay all my bills and let me maintain my own place without having to move or anything. I don’t trust anyone anymore enough to even risk a month off work.

  316. Lisa says:

    LadyIntim I live in Houston and I just recently moved to a nice neighborhood after living in a very low life area for many years. I’m near alot of good restaraunts that are a little of a walk (i don’t have a car) but are accessible if I was to meet someone. The Houston sds are either fake, non paying members, or they are looking for only sex. Most of the members here have been on the site since I first joined 2 years ago and well if a sd can find a sd in that time, he has too be fake, undesireable or impossible to please. I can only travel one week a year. I work in a grocery store and there is so much work to do and they won’t hire enough people to do it so there is no extra person to cover for anyone needing time off. I had to fight for my week off last december to meet a sd. They didnt want to give it to me even though i’d worked there over a year. Changing jobs is not an option as to be honest i’ve probably got the best job in retail I could get compared to some of the crappy jobs i’ve had. Plus i’m limited on getting around. Public transport sucks here and is non existant in many parts of the city. My bus stop is 4 blocks from where I live

  317. LadyIntim says:

    Sara, NSA means NO strings attached, babe. Lisa-hang in there! it sounds to me that your location has a lot to do with your lack of SDs…I haven’t been following the blog to long, but is moving at option? are you capable of travel? being able to travel to your sd increases your chances by about 50 percent

  318. Sara says:

    What is NSA?????

  319. Lisa says:

    I’ve been without a sd for a month after having 3 in the past year nonstop 🙁

    I wouldn’t mind having 2 sds but I can’t even find one.

  320. LadyIntim says:

    Lipstick Lilly, no negativity at all! I’m 100% with you on having two main SDs which is exactly my set up. If one poofs or wans to make unreasonable demands..bye bye and see you later. But I like to have back up for my backup…so I having 4-5 SDs simultaniously is common practice for me. One of these SDs I only see 4-5 times a year..So you get the picture. It’s not like my life revolves aruond my Sds. I like knowing that if i’m really uncomfortable I can always bail. It’s not about the highest bidder…its about what works for me and what makes me happy. I know women on here who hang out with men just because they don’t have anyone else to support them. Not down with that. It should be on your terms and you should always have …THE CHOICE!!

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      BabiiTemptz I think you are asking about STD testing prior to being in a LTR
      arrangement. Answer is YES it is a good idea to have that conversation
      with your SD. Just as you would with anyone you are intimate with.

  321. Katie says:

    Evening all!

    Ugh been with out an SD for 3 months 🙁 have a hard time finding a new one 🙁

  322. BabiiTemptz says:

    Hi everyone!

    Has any SB kiss their SDs once the connection and time-frame was established and was comfortable about it??
    How would you go abouts with kissing your SD? Do you ask for recent doctors checkup sheets or any medical papers?

    How offensive/appropriate is it to ask a potential ltr SD for things like that?


  323. Goodness, such negativity!

    I do not agree with the sentiment that you can never have enough SDs. Although I’ve been accused of having a trophy room full of them, I actually am a 2 SD girl. I don’t have to stress and stress about “what if he doesn’t come through with x,y,z that I’m actually quite counting on….” because I have two to mitigate the dependence on sugar. Unless you really don’t need the sugar, the idea of just one SD kinda scares me. They would have so much power to mess up your plans if they poofed. I wouldn’t enjoy it as much with that kind of pressure on the relationship. Don’t some guys kind of see that point as well, that it would be nice to share an SB with another SD so you don’t feel like it’s all on you to provide for her, that she has another person to turn to if an unexpected need pops up, and it wouldnt’ automatically go to you?

  324. LadyIntim says:

    I was a rookie a year and a half ago and just look at me now..haha…I JOKE <3

  325. Lisa says:

    Two of my sds were rookies. It can go either way as they can be clueless and think dinner is spoiling or they can be open to what you suggest. My experience with two of them has been that they asked me in the first few emails what I was looking for in allowance terms and agreed to it. But then again there are alot of guys (and women) looking for the love of their life on here, looking for someone to stay home and watch tv, etc so they really have no clue.

  326. Lisa says:

    Everyone is so disposable nowadays. Gee I have all my contacts still on my phone. I need to learn to be more coldhearted and started I guess.

  327. Anna Molly says:

    I cleared out a lot of contacts the other day myself. Didn’t take too long cause I’m not as popular as you are SG2 😉

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Welcome Experienced Sugar Daddy!
      Awww Rookies aren’t that bad now are they? You never
      know when you will meet a diamond in the pile of cubic’s!

      We were all new once. My second SD joined from the April
      NY Times article. He had never had an SB before. However
      he was extremely educated and ran several companies, on the
      board of directors for a zillion more. He ended up being one of the
      BEST SD’s I have ever met! So I for one will not knock a rookie 😉

  328. SouthernGent2 says:

    I was surprised at how many names I had in my blackberry. And that isn’t even my private phone for stuff like this lol

  329. Anna Molly says:

    Morning SG2!!

    Starting over is a good thing sometimes 😀

  330. SouthernGent2 says:

    Good morning everyone. Its been a busy week for me. Did something really productive yesterday while on the plane. Deleted every past sb / SA date / SA contact / etc from my blackberry. Everyone has been kicked to the curb. Time to start new, or just time to sit back and not worry about it.

  331. LadyIntim says:

    Midwest, I have tried it. He is delusional. He denies having anyone else and says that he is dedicated to me so I should be loyal to him. It’s really sad. Unfortunately my education alone is costing me thousands monthly…and so it’s a sacrafice I’ve been making for the last year or so. But the truth of the matter is that it drives me nuts. When i confronted him he denied, denied, denied. I even told him that I would understand and not mind. But like I said he not admit to it even if his life depends on it because that would mean I can do the same…and he can’t have that. Which is really quiet stupid because it only pushes me further…At one point of the relationship I was exclusive to him and wouldn’t dream of straying.. But after finding out and being unable to get through to him I’ve gone on an SD rampage. He thinks that I’ll never leave because he is so good to me financially…He better think twice.

  332. cleo says:

    Experienced: hmm… i can see that line of reasoning but it’s fairly easy to tell if someone has given something a great deal of thought or no isn’t it?

  333. cleo says:

    midwest i know of at least one pot who absolutely can’t travel outside of work related stuff. so if i wanted to meet him i had to fly there. that kind of situation has a few conditions attached depending on comfort level.

    comfort level comes from a combination of personal experience/intuition and “time served” and hrm how to put this words and behaviour that are consistent.

    so if i know that kind of man well? have talked for a while and dying to meet? i’ll hop on a car with him at the airport AND have a safe text time when i’m alone in my room preset… and at least one other at a time unknown to him. (more like minimum one per day with a few on the first)

    if i hardly know him and haven’t emailed much i will ask for a car from the airport, either service or my own rental and meet him as ocsugarbaby said ‘like it’s a local meet’ but with stricter safety precautions

    beyond that? i’m a self sufficient woman with space on my credit card, i’m not particularly worried.

    in any case, when i go out of town for meets i do have an investigator friend who will know where i am… and who knows on what sites i date.

  334. Midwest says:

    Stormcat – If you know it’s a seasonal thing, then certainly do your best to carry it through. If you feel it’s a situation where you don’t know what’s coming up, it would be fair to give her a few month’s notice at full or partial allowance. This way she has time to renew her search should she decide to do so. I know it sounds business-like, but it’s a nice way to dissolve the arrangement if it becomes necessary.

    I have heard that SDs feel better when the sb shows some discipline with her allowance AND has some source of income other than an allowance. It wouldn’t be completely out of line to coach her with some budgeting skills, but she has to be open to it.

    LadyI – Have you been able to ask your SD to renegotiate the exclusivity?

    Katie – sorry I missed you! OC gave you some very sound advice. Listen to your instincts…if there are ANY red flags, do not travel to meet him. SDs have been known to travel to meet sbs, so don’t think it’s too much to ask.

  335. LadyIntim says:

    Stormcat, I’d be very careful falling for your SB. In my experience it never led to a good place. Just an FYI…Be careful and always go with your Gut!

  336. LadyIntim says:

    Goodevening all, Midwest..stormcat…
    Stormcat, my current set up with SD number ONE definitely needs an adjustment. He lives in a fantasy world thinking that he can have his cake and eat it too. He’s got that mentality that because he pays all my bills he is entitled to my loyalty while he can go out and bang whatever he wants. I know he for a fact has at least two other SBs and It’s totally fine with me I just wish he wouldn’t try to conceal it as hard as he does. the reason he hides it is because he thinks that it will give me permission to go hang out with other men…which is exactly what I have been doing. If he wants to play this game, I’ll play along…what’s not to like? He is putting me through school, while paying all my living expenses…as I interview potential SDs and get extra on the side. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh but one thing I can never get passed is people lying to manipulate others. And people who still believe in the double standard (aka a woman has to be barefoot in the kitchen while he is out playing grab a**…and somehow that’s ok because he rolls in the dough). No thanks.

  337. Experienced Sugar Daddy says:

    No. 1 question is “Did you have a SD/SB before?” If the answer is “Yes”, then question No. 2 is “How was it?” If the answer is “No”, then there are no more questions — just move on politely and respectfully. Save time and energy and leave the rookies to the rookies.

  338. Stormcat says:

    OC KOOL! It will be great to finally put people with all the bloggers

    Midwest, thanks for the perspective. But my SB does totally depend on my support. Or so it seems! It makes me uncomfortable on the one hand but also motivates me to do more just to make sure that everything is right for her. Just that sometimes it gets a little hairy. That’s where the tension comes and it makes me start wondering whether it’s worth it. Also it becpmes tempting to try and manage things by getting her to trim her expenses. None of these thngs are good for the arrangement. I know I got probably another month and a half before the cashflow lostens up.

  339. Katie says:

    OcSugarbaby—– Ty hun ur awsome

  340. Katie says:

    nite hun

  341. Lisa says:

    He was a great sd for the 6 weeks it lasted. Very generous, prepaid a 6 month lease for me. I didnt’ make the income requirements to move here althouth the rent is only 100 more a month because it’s smaller but it’s safe and not gang ridden like my last place. I am greatful to him but wish he would have not just dumped me.
    Last time I saw him he was hugging me before he left and said that he’d like me to find a real boyfriend and husband so I wouldn’t have to work hard anymore (yeah right how many husbands and boyfriends take care of you, that’s why i’m done with them) and he also said that he wanted this to last for a long while but wanted me to have something permanent in the future. He emailed me a month ago before he took a trip and said he’d keep in touch. Haven’t heard from him since but he’s back on the site everyday.

    Have a good night everyone.

  342. Katie says:

    Ya when he mentioned Payroll first thing that crossed my mind was taxes and i was like helll not i pay enough taxes. Ur a total sweet and 44 isnt that old my mom had got 15 years on you, and if a guy is like 70 being an Sd to a 44 year old is a good age gap.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Katie if you were to travel to meet a Pot outside of
      your local area. You will want to have a high comfort
      level. Know enough about him. Is he providing you
      with google information to verify his identity?
      He can provide you with the funds to book your
      flight, and hotel. I guess I felt good about my
      comfort level and he took care of the travel
      arrangements. But then again I knew who he
      was and knew that he was a gentleman. If possible
      make a contact or have a contact in the city you are
      traveling to. Once you arrive treat it as a local date.
      You never put yourself in a situation that can bring you
      possible harm.
      The best way to meet someone for the first time is to
      have him fly to your city. However being flexible can
      bring you into a larger SD pool to play in. I can’t stress the
      need to feel comfortable with traveling outside of your
      city. The SD should make your comfort a high priority.

  343. Lisa says:

    I had my first sd 2 years ago. It wasn’t much of an arrangmetn and lasted a month. He was a nice guy but not at all wealthy and he moved out of town. I am alot older (44) so I don’t get as many offers. I had a couple one time meet and shop dates then they poofed.

    I;ve had 3 in the past year. One lasted a month and then he poofed but he kept cancelling on me after our second date.

    I had another one whom I still keep in touch with but the distance is too far and I can’t travel because of my crummy job.

    I met the perfect one 3 months ago, he took me to nice lunches, got me moved into a much safer apartment near my family and gave me an allowance. He poofed 2 weeks after I moved here though. Can’t understand it as he was 70 years old, too old for games.

    I have always received cash and would not want to be on a payroll, you gotta pay taxes and social security because technically you;re employed where as an allowance in cash is considered a gift and is tax free

  344. Katie says:

    BTW do u know if its normal or odd that SDs what to pay u ur allowencce form a company payroll????
    New to this sorry of i bug u hehe

  345. Katie says:

    Well someday they MAY actually do it hehe.

    So have u been a SB long?

  346. Lisa says:

    They have been talking about it forever

  347. Katie says:

    You know what i mean like a REAL chat room.

  348. Lisa says:

    This is the chatroom, lol

  349. Lisa says:

    They tried to ban it here but Houstonians are addicted to their cars and their cell phones. I live across from the mall (litterally right next door) but most of the people here at the apartments get in their cars to go to the mall instead of walking over.

    I have to see who i’m meeting first. And it is from another site and I have 9 pictures and he has 0 so it’s only fair

  350. Katie says:

    Wish they would make a chat room for us on this site it would be cool!

  351. Katie says:

    Lucky for us up here in Canada its illiegal to talk on ur phone or text while driving.

    Ya you gotta get to know em a bit before meeting. I got contacted by an potential SD today too, he was actually really nice we MSNed for abit the only problem is hes in the UK.

  352. Lisa says:

    Houston is known for it’s bad drivers, too busy texting and hurrying to get somewhere.

    On other news a potential sd emailed today about possibly meeting tomorrow. Very vague though and I find the ones that are very distant on communication usually never meet. He contacted me 2 weeks ago but has yet to send me a picture and I know nothing about him really as far as what he is looking for. We haven’t even discussed where to meet so I sent him an email asking him for a pic and told him i’d like to chat a little more and know what he was looking for so we don’t waste each other’s time. Also I didn’t mention it to him that I don’t have a car so i’d have to meet in my area and since he lives on the other side of town, he might want to meet somewhere that I can’t get to. To me it’s not worth the effort with someone who hasn’t told me much about themselves.

  353. Katie says:

    Aww sad 🙁 sorry to hear that, damn drivers

  354. Lisa says:

    I saw the raw video footage, a sheet soaked with blood over the body. The pedestrian had the right of way but the driver turned and hit her. The driver deserves to have her mercedes suv taken away and sold to help the woman’s family and she should never be allowed to drive again.

  355. Lisa says:

    edit “hit” not kit

  356. Lisa says:

    Good evening
    Upsetting day. An 66 year old woman was kit by a car downtown today. Houston is dangerous for pedestrians because we have tuned out drivers. I dodge cars every day as i’m crossing the street to meet my daughter. I worry about my parents crossing the street to the mall too as people drive too fast and ignore the pedestrian crosswalk.

  357. Katie says:

    Evening Midwest how are u doing?

  358. Midwest says:

    Evening OC, Katie, LadyI, Lisa et al!

  359. Midwest says:

    Stormcat – I have had the unfortunate experience of having an sd whose business has suffered greatly. Although the allowance helped tremendously, I did not depend on it. Truthfully, it got to the point where I was uncomfortable accepting an allowance. We both agreed to dissolve the arrangement. We are great friends as of this day! There are no hard feelings.

  360. Katie says:


    What kind of safety precautions did you take and he would be paying so how does that work, please help im new to this!

  361. Stormcat says:

    Hi OC SB! 🙂
    How are you?

  362. Stormcat says:

    Well . . . Yes! 🙂
    But I guess maybe it wasn’t so relevant as I first thought.
    No matter, I enjoyed the thought process.

  363. LadyIntim says:

    stormcat are you talking to me:)

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Katie…yes I have had that request and flew to France to meet someone.
      It was a fabulous experience. However I took many safety precautions.
      You should too! 😉

      Lisa and LadyI…hahaha $500 bucks!!!! lol

  364. Stormcat says:

    Oh My! Now I see you’ve made some subsequant posts and my advice is way out in left field. Probably not even in the ball park. See what I mean about misapplied advice. lol 😉

  365. Katie says:

    Have any of you guys had SDs not from ur country and they want you to travel to meet them?

  366. Stormcat says:

    I suspect you are a situation that needs the help of a rather delicate fine adjustment. Not something to be glossed over lightly. Your conflict is not one of misunderstood expectations. It is one of evolving expectations. If either of you can’t adapt to that inevitable change and face it openly without judgement then the evolution will go underground and subterfuge will control. You really have to talk about it with each other in a casual relaxed non-judgemental way.

  367. Stormcat says:

    I’ve wanted to tell my sugar story several times but it has gotten too long to recount. I met my current SB nearly a year ago but after two fantastic initial dates, she opted out. My ego was bruised a bit and I
    groused about it here for months and kept looking. Everyone was patient and helped me get through it both here and privately, but I still didn’t seem to be finding the elusive connection. Meanwhile, I just ever so patiently stayed in contact with her. Then 7 months ago she asked if I was still interested. I didn’t even hesitate. It has been really great. We see each other weekly, have weekends away, go to concerts movies, events, etc. But the thing is that I’ve started to fall for her. I think the rule in sugarland is when that happens, you better get out. But I don’t want to. Yet I now feel the tensions mounting between us.
    So here I am back on the blog. Looking for other points of view. Hoping that I can make some sense of the situation before I completely blow a perfectly good arrangement by demanding or expecting something that she either can’t or won’t give.

  368. LadyIntim says:

    And that $500 a month offer is ridiculous, Lisa. I mean that’s offensive! I don’t know what these men are thinking. I know that this won’t sit well with most SBs on here, but I believe in per diem allowance. I have a monthly allowance with my SD #1 and that gives him the right to see me as much as he wants. IN the future I will avoid such arrangements.

  369. Stormcat says:

    Sugar dating definately presents unique challenges and the process is not easily navigated because most people have little or no experience and try to apply the things that have worked in the past for us in more traditional relationships. This forum can be of some help but even here there are problems because the advice is free. Although inparted with well meaning, it can easily be misapplied or occationally outright wrong. So you have to really cherry pick and take the best thoughts that you find here then use your own judgement.
    Another thing I notice is that there is alot of wisdom here about setting up and beginning an arrangement but very little about living in a well established one or gracefully ending one. Like what do you do if you have a temporary financial crisis. End the arrangement with the thought that you can start again later when the crisis has passed. She is depending on the allowance promised every month. Not just when its convenient.

  370. LadyIntim says:

    Lisa that’s the problem. He in fact is a really good SD. He has paid off all my previous school loans, paid for my current degree, willing to pay for future education…he has financed my trips overseas, paid for cosmetic enhancements, bought me cars…etc etc etc…THe problem is that the relationship escalated from a classic sd/sb sitation to a full-blown relationship…he somehoe manipulated it in that direction. And it’s so funny that you suggested that I find myself a married SD. Lisa, I already have met a couple…and one of them has been my official SD #2 since last November! But you can never have enough SD’s -the sugar is just so sweet! All I’m saying is that I have found the most success with older SD’s. And yes, if they are married even better!

  371. Lisa says:

    He sounds like he has control issues, that can happen in marriage, dating and sd/sb situations. He isn’t a good candidate for either. I prefer to find a married sd that has his own life too and is looking for a weekly meeting, not every day, every hour, etc. The ones that demand the most time seem to offer the least. I once had someone who traveled to city on business. He wanted to visit weekly from out of town. Sounded reasonable BUT he planned to stay 3 days a week at my place which I was not interested in as i’m not operating a hotel. His allowance offer? 500 a month WOW Needlesstoday I never met him.

  372. LadyIntim says:

    It’s called a double standard. Very old school and shortsighted.

  373. LadyIntim says:

    Lisa, I am with you and I see what you are saying. The problem with my old school SD is that he wants me to be exclusive. And he is not exclusive to me. It’s a control issue. I don’t mean to get all personal but he has manipulated the situation from a classic SB/SD situation to where he wants my full attention. He holds to a blief that as long as he is paying all my bills (he doesn’t know this, but the allowance he gives me isn’t enough to finance my lifestyle), I have no right to stray away..yet he can do whatever he wants. He lies and says he is exclusive to me, but that only insults my intelligence because I see his emails and phone.

  374. Lisa says:

    LadyIntim I find the opposite in the sds I come across. They all want you to have a job but still many expect you to be free to travel at moment’s notice. I would love to find a sd that would allow me to have some time off from my stressful job, like a leave of absence or something but my arrangements are so short lived, that I can’t depend on them. I come across so many that want to meet at least twice a week (I see this in the profiles, they are not contacting me) and who has time for that when we have to work and have time for ourselves. If I met someone twice a week, that would take both my days off and i’d have no time for me.

    Had one potential email me about meeting tomorrow but he has dragged so long that I have lost interest. Have been in contact with him 2 weeks but very few emails and he has yet to send me a pic so I have no idea what he looks like. Says his body type is average which in Texas usually means overweight. Anyway he avoid the topic of allowance and we don’t know enough about each other to make it worth meeting him, and the time he chose is for coffee (thus avoiding lunch or dinner) so I dont’ think it’s worth me getting out in the pouring rain tomorrow for that. I will send him a thank you but i’ve made other plans as I hadn’t heard from him in days so I didn’t think he was serious. I have to use my own experience and if they drag meeting, it’s usually a waste of time. Every local arrangment i’ve had took no more than a week from first email till first meeting and expectations were fully discussed.

  375. LadyIntim says:

    FLSB, can you please explain the lump sum offer? Sounds interesting..

  376. LadyIntim says:

    NYGent, I am sorry about your unfortunate experience. IT sounds to me that you allowed this young lady to take advantage of the situation. It takes two people to make the arrangement work. It sounds that you’ve held up your end of the bargain and she, well….The 30-year age gap is a bit wide, I admit, but it CAN work. The only problem that I had with my older SD is the fact that he is very old school in some instances…for example, he believes that as long as he supports me I don’t need a job, as I wouldn’t have any time for him. I see this as a control issue, despite everything he says. This is actually the only big issue that we have and I feel that it might be the demise of the relationship. So, I’m in the process of preparing for the exit.

  377. Stormcat says:

    Hey Yall
    Long time away, Just popped in for a visit and found out that there was a party comming soon. I hesitated cause I didn’t see the point if I’m not in the game but then I read that NYSB was going. That did it for me!! I signed up right away. Plus I’m also dragging a friend along, who is newly almost single. He’s never been on the site but I keep extolling the virtues of sugarland and he acquiessed with the excuse that he’d be there to give me moral support.
    Well I’m looking forward to a fine evening! Hope to see lots of you there!

  378. kee says:

    Hello 🙂 NEOhio I would love to know your thoughts and some advice. I feel like im in an algebra class with a blindfold on.That’s how lost I am. Hahaha

  379. Lisa says:

    Cleo those wealthy people are mostly families, not too many men living by themselves I doubt. The ones I found online were quite old and haven’t been on the site in a long time. I have emailed them in the past and they never read the mail. The neighborhoods are not that accessible from my apartment as this is a heavily tree filled area and the many of the communities are gated. Not much opportunity for dog walking as everyone here seems to walk there own dog. The apartment has a mixture of people from young college people to little old ladies. Everyone is out walking their dogs in the evening. I can’t afford a dog either, deposit here is 400 hundred dollars plus additional pet rent each month. I wish I could shop but i’m broke 🙁
    I’d love to join the gym across the street but it’s expensive as it’s very upscale.

  380. cleo says:

    lisa that shuttle sounds amazing. i wish we had that here. i live right downtown and transit is mostly useless to me because of it. it’s getting better though.

    that said, if the neighbourhood behind your house is full of wealthy people is there a way you can shop in real life? even taking walks or becoming a dog walker or something?
    hi nygent

  381. Lisa says:

    Cleo I wish I was as I am in walking distance of some good restaraunts and 2 starbucks if necessary. Just nothing going on. Found some on the other site that are actually in my area (this area has alot of very wealthy people living in the houses behind my apartment, etc but most of the members haven’t been active in weeks or they are looking for a ltr rather than sb. My two potentials poofed. One is too busy to meet, the other poofed after he found out there is more to an arrangement than dinner and intimacy.

    So much to do here but I cant’ do anything. Going out with parents on free shuttle to grocery in an hour or so. It runs tue-thur hourly in the mornings. I rarely have any of the days off it runs so I don’t get to use it often. It picks you up at your apartment, takes you where you need to go in the area, picks you up an hour later, brings you home.

  382. NEOhio SB says:

    NYGent ~~ Came out of hibernation from the tax crunching…nice to be here again and see everyone. Im sure hopin he does, but you know me…its the scarlet and gray that get me going…not the big boys. Speaking of which, Spring game is this Saturday in the Shoe….should be fun to see the boys…the ap poll has them as #2 for the coming season. Have been in nyc many times and think of you…hope things are well with you.

  383. NYGent says:

    Hi NEOhio, ‘been a while. Will LeBron finally break the curse of NEOhio professional sports this year?

    Hi AM

  384. cleo says:

    NEOhiosb *snicker* awesome

    glad you have one. i myself am taking a couple of weeks off from searching because i have too much on my plate at the moment 🙂 [good stuff though!]
    Lisa: well, at least you’re in a better place to meet them now right?

  385. Lisa says:

    It’s hard to find a legit one in Texas too, especially Houston. Over half the sds are non paying members, the other half are either not in Houston and won’t travel or are looking for hookups.

  386. NEOhio SB says:

    Cleo ~~~ No no no…not that border…:) Just the OHIO state border. lol

  387. cleo says:

    NEOhio: so funny, i shop in the states and you shop in canada *g*

  388. NEOhio SB says:

    Good morning sugar family !!

    Welcome Kee ~~ Nice to see another Buckeye SB on this site. I can tell you, it is extremely difficult from my past experience to stay in this Buckeye state to find a good, legit SD. Although one prior blogger who i haven’t seen here for awhile, is a very legit and great one. Think he may be taken. I actually went across the border and found a wonderful, incredible SD….so depending on where you are in this great Scarlet and gray state, it may be good to expand your search outside of the state. Id be happy to share some thoughts with you.

  389. Kee says:

    Hey all 🙂 so I am new here and find it extremely difficult to find a legitimate SD here in Ohio. 🙁
    Im certainly hoping someone will be interested and how this all works.

  390. meesh4455 says:

    Hey is anyone from the NJ/NYC area. Id love to have a girlfriend around who I can relate to! Also maybe some advice as I’m very new to this. Thanks!

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Welcome Kee and Meesh4455!
      Meesh4455 you should go to the NYC SA Sugar party. You can meet all
      kinds of great SB’s and SD’s. Mix mingle and find a local sugar friend!
      In the mean time stick around and ask questions and play blog
      scrabble with us. lol ~OC

  391. FLSB says:

    HI everyone!

    I have insomnia tonight : / not really, just can’t sleep.

    Cleo-beautiful post!

    Midwest – your fetish response cracked me up! but it’s true, you probably don’t want to be bound and gaged by someone you barely know.

    Have any SB’s or SD’s offered or been offered a “lump sum”. I recently have and don’t know what to think of it.

  392. cleo says:

    ocsugarbaby – awesome 🙂

    i always figure that we should help each other with little spellings that catch us up and i was pretty sure you were one such.

    i loved the comeback by the way… i like i’ll start offering my old swim times *g*

  393. PrettySweet says:

    Thanks Lisa. I was wondering about that because i don’t wan’t to dodge the taxes and what not. I just don’t know how to properly handle that “stuff”. I suppose when and if I need to, I’ll consult an accountant. Thanks for the advice though. Have you ever met a pot sd that had a weird request? I met someone today and he was so charming, handsome, married, and sweet. But he had the oddest request and I told him I would not be able to delivery. I was very upset because we had great chemistry and all…and he even gave me 250 for just having coffee with him. Despite his generosity and willingness to help me, I just couldn’t bring myself to want to stay in the situation. Needless to say I’m a bit sad that one didn’t work out*sigh*

  394. Lisa says:

    PrettySweet Cash is always best. Allowance in cash, purchases in cash. Of course i’ve never made any major purchases when I had sds, just clothes, household goods, etc. Last sd did pay my rent for 6 months. It fell under the 12k gift exemption though so neither party has to report it.

  395. PrettySweet says:

    Thanks for all that replied in regards to my question about the event. If I go I will be on guard and will probably bring a friend. I have a question about finances. How are sugars able to make big purchases or pay rent without alerting the big guys? I have not been in an arrangement long enough to save up nearly enough to make any major purchases but I wanted to know how all the girls save/purchase honestly? I think this is an important issue and should be discussed. It probably has in the past and I’m just late. Btw I have been in contact with a pot sd from Philly. He is willing to fly in to my state to see me a couple time and month. He’s the same dude I was talking about with the allowance being too high and it being too good to be true. Anyway..we’re meeting at the casino next week and I’m psyched. Hope your sugar is extra sweet this week:)

  396. Naughty Molly says:

    Hi NYGent!! How are you?

  397. NYGent says:

    PrettySweet: I would go if you want to, just be careful and cautious about opening up to anyone who seems to be “interviewing” you. The definition of who is or isn’t “media” isn’t what it used to be. In the old days you could spot media a mile away, they were the guys with the bulky TV cameras or reporters wielding notebooks. The new “media” is much more subtle, anybody with an Iphone with a camera or a tiny recorder can consider themselve “media.” If an event is open to the public and anybody who’s willing to pay to get in, then to say “media aren’t invited” means very little. So go, have fun, and keep your antenna up for anything or anybody that seems a little suspicious. There’s probably very little real risk but in this day and age one can never be too careful.

  398. NYGent says:

    LadyInTim: As an SD who had an arrangement with an SB around 30 years younger, I applaud your sentiment. But I have to say that 30 years is a big difference and was in this case. I was, as you say, “gentle and understanding” even when she totally reneged on the original understanding and would not provide any intimacy, even after accepting and continuing to accept $$ and other goodies. I told her that due to her age I could never get “mad” at her and I never did, never tried to force anything that wasn’t organic or natural. I was patient and understanding and generous to a fault, it did me absolutely no good. We had many wonderful and sweet times together and I opened some doors to her and I regret none of it. But I would be very skeptical of a 30 year diff again, I think maybe 20-25 is about the max absent unusual circumstances.

  399. Lisa says:

    Good evening

    Just got back from picking daughter up. Was sitting in mall food court having a taco while my mom and daughter were somewhere. Some old man (probably 60’s -70’s, couldn’t tell as he was bald) came over and started talking to me. He wanted to share his cinnabon with me. I told him I didnt need the calories. Anyway it was weird.

  400. cleo says:

    thanks mindy and midwest 🙂
    it’s true too…
    ocsugarbaby? only because i think you want to know? it’s spelled quip… and i think thus quippy but i’m not too sure on that bit… 🙂

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Cleo qwippy would just be an OCSugarbaby-ism for cute, snarky,sassy quick come back. Lol. But thanks for the gramatical correction. 🙂

  401. Midwest says:

    Cleo – Beautiful post!

  402. LadyIntim says:

    Older men rule. I’m off to a sugar date, everyone. I love this blog!

  403. Lisa says:

    Good afternoon

    I agree and prefer older men. There is something lost in the new generation of men. I also find that men who have daughters are more sensitive than men who have only boys.
    Feeling depressed. My profile has been viewed by 160 diferent people (218 views) and i’ve recieved only a handfull of messages from jokes. 2 poofers and the others were weirdos. My other site profile has been viewed over 100 times, no emails. 🙁

    So many nice things to do nearby and no money to do it. Off the next couple days.

  404. RedMaru says:

    Hey all I was getting lonely….
    As far as age concerns I find having an older man a thrilling, daunting and exciting prospect. My friends for the most part understand cause one is married to an older man and we all drool over older men in the movies he he

  405. LadyIntim says:

    Adventureseeker, Don’t worry about the age gap. My main SD and I are 31 years apart and my second SD and I are 20 years apart. I am too in my early 20’s and I wouldn’t dream of dating a man who was anywhere near my own age-No thanks! I personally think that men only get better with age, and most importantly they are much more gentle and understanding. My favorite type of sugar daddy is one who is at least a couple decades oler and has daughters…because he understands women and would never hurt one. It is difficult at times when it comes to socializing with friends…my girlfriends don’t understand WHy and HOw I could be attracted to someone that much older. But it’s all about YOU and how You feel. I am proud to be with my sugardaddies and I absolutely love to show them off and be in their presense. And i don’t understand how they can babysit 24/7 with their boys…

  406. SwtHunny says:

    Hi all,

    I am new to this whole sugar-baby/sugar-daddy type of relationship and have a couple questions.

    1. How would I proceed with allowance payments? What are the best options for sugar daddy to give me allowance?

    2. When is it appropriate to bring up allowance and what should I do when the sugar daddy gets offended if the topic comes up saying its too soon?

    Thanks in advance for any opinions!

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Welcome SwtHunny!
      Very good questions. Let me take a stab at them…
      1. How would I proceed with allowance payments? What are the best options for sugar daddy to give me allowance?
      1. Maybe step back for a minute and start at step one. Finding someone you have mutual chemistry and respect for. Then the communicaton takes control and the question can be worked out with an open dialog between both of you. You may need to find the best option for allowance payments based on both of your needs.
      2. . When is it appropriate to bring up allowance and what should I do when the sugar daddy gets offended if the topic comes up saying its too soon?
      Refer back to answer above. You need to meet and see if there is chemistry. I am not one to feel comfortable talking about an allowance
      prior to even meeting. However it is not wrong to bring up that it is a monthly allowance you are seeking in this type of arrangement.
      But specifics can’t be rushed. You both need to move forward together when the comfort level is right.

  407. RedMaru says:

    Hey Anna Molly 😀

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Katie if someone message’s you asking for STATS.
      They are not worthy of a reply. Your profile states
      your STATS. Period end of story.
      If he is asking for STATS as in weight, bra size, dress
      size, he is not a gentleman. I have never been asked
      STATS but I know a qwipy little come back for you…
      “Do you mean baseball, golf or body?” “If you mean the
      latter I will give you mine if you give me yours!”

      Maybe it would be best not to engage him at all. You would just be
      fueling his warped perception of what a TRUE SD is all about.

  408. Anna Molly says:

    All I know is my bra size…lol

  409. RedMaru says:

    Hows everybody else doin if anybodys here?

  410. RedMaru says:

    Its nice but chilly in GA. but hey the pollen counts down. And its Administrative Professionals day which means I got a lovely plant, a Borders card and yummy candy that I have no business eating but I’m eating anyway HA HA!

  411. Anna Molly says:

    Your measurements I believe 😀

  412. Katie says:

    what does it mean when a SD
    asks for Stats?????

  413. MindyNYC says:

    Wow Cleo, what a beautiful and inspirational post. 🙂

  414. cleo says:

    morning AM!

    hope you’re terrific this fine day?

    i’m stoked, have brunch and a few clients and a quick visit to the doc … and the weather is… i have no words for how gorgeous it is out there!

  415. cleo says:

    you know, i have to say the sugar search has had an incredibly positive effect on me all told; if for nothing else than to come here and meet all the awesome, crazy, different, strong, beautiful women and a smaller bunch of equally cool men.

    but it’s so much more than that.

    i’ve been inspired to save myself just because i’ve been here and i don’t just mean the 20 pounds and ton of clothes i just chucked. although that’s nice too.

    no, watching the ladies here support each other and bicker and help and always have each other’s backs when it matters and pull themselves out of their own holes? or take steps to allow others to help them out of those holes? seeing people fight to find new jobs and come here when they’re down and leave feeling better?


    i’m marketing better and promoting myself better and generally seeing little trickles that can become streams if i nurture them ALL OVER my life and all from the perspective that i’ve gained here.

    from hearing and saying again and again ‘you have to help yourself first’ i actually did. i thought i was but no, and now? now i’m betting better at it.

    i look better, i feel better, i dress better, i take better care of my grooming and i’m digging myself out of my own damn hole and it’s all thanks to you guys. [and suddenly women in clubs hate me and i likes it!]

    i mean i did the work but you all provided the moral support and i want to thank you all for doing that. this place can beat you down if you let it, and sometimes even if you think you don’t let it…

    but it can help you find yourself too.

    so … thanks.

  416. Marcos says:

    Thanks everyone! Especially SD FKA, very good info.

  417. Anna Molly says:

    Interesting, didn’t know that SD FKA!

    Thank you! 😀

    Morning Cleo!

  418. cleo says:

    sd fka: that’s cool, i had no idea. wow someone should make a faq *g*

  419. SD FKA says:

    Marcos — when an SB uses her blackberry to login, the login country shows up as Canada. I am assuming this is because RIM (The Blackberry company) is Canadian and has a Canadian IP address – don’t be alarmed about it — I was a little concerned at first but figured out what was causing that – happy SB hunting.

  420. adventureseeker says:

    p.s what are your thoughts on age difference and how long arrangements will last? I am 24, my SD was 59!!! ( he did not look or act that old at all though, and I like to think I am mature for someone 24) I was amazed at the chemistry with such an age gap…But I am wondering if with such age gaps arrangements don’t have longer term potential? so many questions, lol.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      AdventureseekerSB mystical age difference is what Sugar dating teeters on! Some find that
      closing that age gap works for them, others like to have a 10-20 year span.
      I am a sugar in my mid 30’s and I have always loved SD’s in the 50’s age range!
      They are so worldly and full of amazing manners. So personally the 15-20 year
      span fills my sugar dish perfectly. Age is just a number, it is how they act and
      how they treat you. YOU sound so sweet and yes, very mature for a 24 year old.
      I have met some wonderful millionaires on SA who were true gentlemen, but if the
      chemistry just isn’t right it just isn’t right. You should always try to keep the friendship
      even though the arrangement may not come to fruition. Age gap has little to do with
      longevity of the arrangement. It has so many factors that come into the equation.
      I tended to have a 6 month agreement. Once the term was up it could be re-newed by 3 month
      increments. But that was what worked best for me. You will find your own path.
      Use your judement, you will do just fine. 😉

  421. adventureseeker says:

    Well thank you for the advice OCSugarBaby! This is a great blog, as no friends know about my sugar daddy interests, I did not have anyone to talk to about it, Until I came across this. I think it would be lovely to keep in contact with SDs as friends and mentors when an arrangement is done, but I guess it is up to them to keep in contact or not. Congrats on meeting someone great and committed! I am hoping to find a nice new SD in the near future. As my taste of the sugar was very sweet and I miss it! Such an interesting world this is.

  422. Naughty Molly says:

    Well, a premium account allows you to see who put you on theirfavorites list and see who checked you out. It also allows you to hide your last login. If you’re going to send email then seeing who added you to their faves can be very helpful because at least you know he has interest in you and vice versa 😀

  423. JSB says:

    Do any of the sb’s have the premium account? pros/cons? Is it worth getting?

  424. Naughty Molly says:

    Katie ~ I think a good starting point is looking at past blogs. Tons of info and advice!

    You will have guys who come down with disappearitis and they never recover, but, don’t worry about it…be patient and you’ll find the perfect SD for you!

    Ask all the questions you like Katie and Welcome 😀

  425. Naughty Molly says:

    Marcos ~ I wouldn’t worry just yet, there could be many reasons as to why she is in Canada. I agree with Lisa, trust your gut. Hope this helps 🙂

  426. Katie says:

    Hey guys Im new and never had a Sd before anything I REALLY need to know???

  427. Bambii says:

    i thinks its really important for you to know what a potential SD’s expectations are. Many Profile’s are really vague so you kinda have to read in between the lines.

    I ke to make it point to ask them what their requirements so there are no misunderstandings.

  428. Midwest says:

    Goodnight Lisa.

    Marcos – Stephan could answer this better than anyone, but I would think she couldn’t fake the login country. Have you noticed what country was listed in the past? She certainly could be travelling for work, meeting a potential sd or is really from Canada. The only way to know is to ask and to trust your intuition. Hope it works out!

    Come visit us when you can…we love the insight our sds bring to the blog!

  429. Lisa says:

    Going to bed now. Allergy medicine has taken possession.

    Good night

  430. JSB says:

    Thanks for the advice..I might sound oldfashioned but I personally think that sd’s should want to atleast go for dinner to try to impress you for a first meet, unless they really don’t have a lot of time…first impressions count and I think that by going to dinner it would show that they would like to take the time to get to know you without being interrupted or feeling rushed like in a coffee shop.

  431. Lisa says:

    Marcos, we sbs can’t check the log in for sds without we pay for a premium membership. Does she travel on business or maybe she’s visiting Canada? Not sure about Canada but I would be concerned if they were logging on from outside the North American mainland (Africa for example is the source of may internet scams, mainly Nigeria.

    Just ask her if she’s in Canada. She should be aware of the log in country feature. If she gets offended she’s probably lying

  432. Marcos says:

    Hello Everyone!

    I am new to this site but not to the SD world. I have a question about the “last login country” in everyone’s profile. I have exchanged emails with a potential SB and she claims to live in SF, we even set up a meeting for this coming Sunday. However, I just noticed that in her profile, Canada is listed for the last login country. Should I be concerned? Not sure what to think. Sorry for getting off topic but I didn’t know where else to post this question.

  433. Lisa says:

    It worked to my advantage though because upon bringing me home, the parking lot was full of cops and someone was coming out in handcuffs. He emailed me later that evening saying his goal was to get me moved to a better place in 3 months. It only took 1 month.

  434. Lisa says:

    I broke the first rule by letting him drive to my apartment to pick me up. He was an older man though and anyway in my old neighborhood I was really safer getting in the car with a stranger than walking down my street after dark, lol

  435. Lisa says:

    I find coffee dates boring. I have coffee dates with my parents. Never had anything to come from a coffee date, well except for the one sd and that was because he worked 2-10 (not really a sd but had some spare money) every night so by the time he drove to meet me the first time he had to drive back to work so we had to meet in the am. He was off the next day and we had a lunch date.

    Lunch or dinner is better because you can sit and chat while you wait for your food. My first dinner date with my last sd lasted 2 hours. Coffee dates are rushed because you spend half the time waiting in line, then sitting at a little table in a very loud place, not very good for conversation, especially about an arrangment.

  436. Midwest says:

    JSB – Lisa covered many of the good scenarios.

    Here’s what to avoid:
    1- Be very careful about getting in a car with someone you don’t know.
    2- Avoid meeting him at his hotel room, home, etc.
    3- A public venue is always preferred. If you can go somewhere you know someone, even better.
    4- Most SDs of any quality will not invite you to join them for a romp on the first meet. They certainly won’t ask for a “test drive”. Allowances typically precede any intimacy. If you just can’t help yourself and realize that sex does not equal an allowance, then have a great time!

    Personally, I like dinner b/c it gives you time to really get into some great conversations. I know a few who like coffee b/c it’s quick and they can easily assess if they feel that “chemistry” that takes an arrangement from good to great!

    Hope it helps!

  437. Lisa says:

    You’re welcome. I’m back to square one myself.

  438. JSB says:

    Thanks Lisa!

  439. Lisa says:

    Let me try to answer some of your questions. As far as pictures go, I have mine posted and never send additional. I always make sure I get at least one pic of the sd.

    First meets for me have varied.

    1st one we met for coffee, next day went to lunch, a couple days later we began arrangement (allowance, etc)

    then I had two first meets with lunch and shopping. This was the idea of both sds and both poofed afterwars. Both are still on the site though.

    next one, met for lunch, received half of allowance , met for dinner 4days later received other half of allowance (his idea as he was the first to bring up allowance. Arrangement lasted 1 month as he didn’t like to drive.

    next one, met in Newyork, but that’s difference situation

    Most recent one, met for dinner (2 hours of talking) and met next day for lunch and half allowance was given. He was out of town 2 weeks, came back and we seen each other weekly for lunch, misc, and intimacy. The misc. included shopping, picking up moving supplies, renting apartment, and grocery shopping, etc.

    Basically in my experience as I say too many times, mine have always came easy, but few and far in between whereas the two coffee dates I had poofed.

  440. JSB says:

    haha I think I should change my name to question queen..

    this one has to do with pics…

    When would you send a picture of yourself?

    Also when do you ask for a picture of the pot sd, and what do you do if he doesn’t want to send one?

  441. JSB says:

    Ok question, what is the standard for a first meet? Do you meet in the evening and go fo dinner? Do you meet for coffee?

    This would be the time to see if you really connect so what are your thoughts on good ideas for first meets and some no no’s

    Part two is if you had a really good first meeting what happens next?

    Also what happens if you no longer want an arrangment with the person after you meet?

  442. Lisa says:

    I moved over to start a fresh. I broke off with the married man who was using me for 5 years, broke communication with my toxic friend (I was afraid she might cause problems at my new apartments because she is very loud and would stand for an hour on my porch of my old apartment (when she was getting ready to go home at midnight) screaming and cussing her ex husband and the boyfriend that left her 2 years ago and her job, etc. I had met a nice classy man who I enjoyed being with. Last time I seen him, he acted normal and talked about somethign we were going to do the next week.
    Anyway I look over the profiles for my area on both sites and all I see if the same tired faces and most of them have fetishes, want to dominate or spank or meet only for sex. I’m not looking for that type of arrangemtn.

  443. Midwest says:

    Lisa – Sorry if that came out wrong…the bartending was merely an example. Ultimately, you know what is best for you. My only hope is that you stay as inspired as you were a month ago. I only desire great and wonderful things for you 🙂

  444. Lisa says:

    And i’m no longer looking for prince charming. Marriage today offers nothing to a woman, men can’t provide anymore so there is no point in marrying. I don’t have to cook for anyone, wash anyone’s clothes, etc. I guess I could make up some goals for my profile to appear more interesting if I have to but I hate lying and like to keep my profile honest but it might be something to consider.

  445. Lisa says:

    Midwest I am a non drinker, drink only on an occasional date. Cannot stand being around drinking people. Never been to a bar in my life. Seen too much of what alcohol could do with my drunk dad. Destroyed my family. I have nothing to do with alcohol.

    I have goals, not career goals but personal goals. I want to join the exercise club across the street, travel to London again, and be able to get out and go places. I work for the paycheck, that’s all, not going to lie about it. My life is not my job, it anytime but when i’m working. I know i’m going to have health problems in the future with all the heavy lifiting I do (while able bodied male coworkers don’t even offer to help) and I weigh a little over 100 lbs so my bones are thin.
    I don’t handle stress at all and can’t multitask and cant follow directions if my life depended on it so i’m only good for physical labor. Plus I hate the mon-fri 9-5 job routine. I hate weekends and much prefer being off on weekdays as I hate crowds. My vice is is peace and quiet (I like to go out every day and do something but then I want to step in my door, take off my shoes and shut the world out.

  446. Midwest says:

    Lisa – I hear you…I really do. Unfortunately, marrying well (or at all) can zap your resources in no time. If you find something you LOVE to do, it can be invigorating instead of exhausting. Tending bar can have a better income (and sometimes benefits in the higher end resorts/clubs) than stocking. Learn the drinks, go somewhere they are willing to train you for a few months, then move up to a place where you can make some money.

    Married man may come back, but see what you can do for yourself while you are waiting for prince charming 🙂

    You are far from dull, but having goals and ambition are very attractive to sds. They want to help…you’ve experienced this first hand.

  447. Midwest says:

    What questions are most important to ask a potential SD or SB?
    I think most of the basics have been covered. You may want to know if he has any fetishes or fantasies he wants fulfilled and determine your comfort level. Deciding if you want to be exclusive, have an end date, etc could be good things to know up front.

    Stephan – Thanks for the new blog and hope you are feeling better!

  448. Lisa says:

    midwest there is no career that suits meet. Honesty I have no real interest as I’ve never been a career woman. As a teenager, my goal was a good marriage and children, not a professional woman. I have limited resources as far as education and transportation , not to mention i’m exhausted when I come home from work everyday. I have no energy at all after work.

    I just feel that I must be really dull as I lose every sd I find. I deeply regret breaking up with my married lover of 5 years. I can’t believe I kept it going with im for that long. Of course it wasn’t a financial relationship but men get tired of their lovers too.

  449. Midwest says:

    Lisa – I so enjoyed the happy lady who finally accepted the help and advice of a man generous enough to get you into a great new place! I know it sucks when the rug gets pulled out from underneath you, but please keep the good vibes and positive momentum going! He gave you hope and he gave you time…those are both priceless! You still have time to evaluate your skills and find a career that suits you. Take advantage of it while your bank account is still full and perhaps you can meet the income requirements to stay there.

    As for SDs poofing…I can’t speak from experience. I will say that it’s healthy to enjoy the sugar without any future expectations. I’m reading comments where ladies sound jilted, and not willing to get emotionally involved. I can say, I’d rather be disappointed by a poofing SD than by a deceitful significant other. It’s all a matter of perspective. I’m not saying it’s right or even polite…I am saying we are competing for the attention of these men. We don’t have to do anything “wrong” in order to lose his interest.

    Stay confident…know you have something great to offer….screen well and be patient!

    (((hugs all around)))

  450. Lisa says:

    Another interesting thing is that often the sd says he’s too buy to check his messages yet you will find him online everyday. If he had time to log onto the site, he could respond to your email. It makes me think they are not serious about meeting.

  451. Lisa says:

    I would ask him how many people he’s been intimate with. Also birth control should be mentioned but the sd shouldn’t decide which type is right for you.

  452. Lisa says:

    JSB I have found that the ones that take forever to repond never meet. I have had so many that were going to be traveling to my city in 2 or 3 months. That sucks in itself but at least you would think you could take that time to really get to know someone (like I did with my NY sd since I had to wait till I could get off work) but the all disappear and you never hear from them again. And honestly, with the exception of an out of state one, I have never had a meeting, let alone an arrangement, that didn’t develop within a week or two of first email. My last sd, contacted me on Jan 23, we met on feb 1, allowance and arrangment started feb 2. I had a similiar situation last year, both these local men met me in less than a week. The ones that dragged out longer never met.

  453. JSB says:

    Questions to ask:

    Ok I just thought I would comment on some questions I have been asked and get your thoughts…

    One SD wanted to get involved but he wanted to know how many ppl I have had intimate relationships with – Is it just me or is that question off limits??

    Another wanted me to go on Depa Provera if we were to be intimate with each other, and said he would pay for it…I get that protection is important but I think the topic on birth control could have just been: are you on birth control…and if we agreed on an arrangement they could have mentioned that if I was interested in Depo they would pay for it…


  454. JSB says:

    Wow great comments, I am starting to check this blog more than my inbox.

    Ok so I have a question…when the convo goes from SA to your email account how long is normal to wait for a response? I find some e-mail a day later and others are a few days…I had great convos with a pot on SA and he said to email him as he was about to travel and didn’t cheeck SA as often as his email, so I did….I didn’t hear from him until yesterday which is like 18 days later…he wrote saying how I impressed him and that he wants to meet in June when he visits my area but I am kind of thrown off by how long it took him to respond, which brings me to my next question…how long do you wait to respond to an email?

    I am not on here to play games so I check my messages and respond when I can which is usually no longer than a day or two…I get that sd’s can have busy lives, but I would think anything over a few days is a little long.


    Also what is up with the poof daddy’s? I seriously don’t get them because they will be the ones who initate the convo, email you and then poof!! I guess it’s better to poof when you have only emailed than after meeting

  455. LadyIntim says:

    Wow, adventureseeker, I totally agree with your outlook on SD’s. And Lisa you are absolutely right-never give up anything for a man, especially a man who is an SD. I currently have 2 main SD’s one of them is unhappily married and just two weeks ago he dropped the “L” bomb on me. I really like him too and for a second I totally gave in and started to fantasize about moving on with him and having a life together. But if you really think about it, I will probably end up just like his future to be Ex wife. When I first started seeing him he was only married for about 6 months, he told me he was “in love” with his wife and just needed something extra that was missing from that marriage. Now almost a year later he is on the brink of a divorce and telling me that he loves ME.

  456. Lisa says:

    Most of the sds in my area are looking for adult fun rather than the total relationship. I had lunch, shopping, etc with my last sd and he also helped me get a better apartment. A previous sd made it possible for me to travel and also helped me get alot of extras. The ones i’m coming across now are looking to come over 2 or 3 times a week for “fun” and think that if they buy lunch or pay for drycleaning, that makes them an sd. I mention allowance and they poof.

    Gotta go now. Time to walk over to the mall with mom to pick my daughter up from work at the hospital. Everything is next door to me now.

    Have a good evening

  457. adventureseeker says:

    It sounds awful, but what I learned is to not care about a SD as a person so much. I really liked him as a friend and thought that was mutual. He shared alot of personal information with me. I spent the night several times. Sadly, obviously he did not really care though. I think my mistake was believing everything he said ( I really like you, your my type, I miss you, I want to help you with bills, We should go to greece in the summer etc..). All learning lessons, and I think ive said before that it was GREAT while it was happening, I just was not prepared for it to instantly end with no warning…I just need to find a new SD I get along with as well as my old SD. Im sure a good new sd would help me stop thinking about my old one as well…but good ones are hard to come by it seems?
    This blog is a good place to get this off my chest! lol

  458. Lisa says:

    I have learned one thing from my experiences and that is never give up anything for a man. I broke off with my lover of 5 years (he was never a sd and more like a bootycall) because I didn’t think it would be right for him to come to an apartment paid for by my sd. 12 days after I moved here, sd poofed and now I have no sd, no lover, nothing.

  459. Lisa says:

    I don’t know, maybe I was too young for him. His profile says 45-60 and i’m 44. Funny i’m told old for most of them and too young for the older ones. Anyway I miss our weekly outings and am now struggling. My job is really hectic as we have a new area manager and he is always in the stockroom. I am capable of working on my own, I don’t need someone planning my day. Anyway I didn’t get everything he wanted me to do done today as It was too much and I didn’t have time. I skipped my lunch but still didn’t have time. I need a fun escape from work. Daily visits with parents are getting routine. Mom still thinks I have a sd and I have to lie to her or she’ll be disappointed.

  460. adventureseeker says:

    buxombeautylv- I 100% agree with everything you wrote! Glad to know other people are on the same page as me. I still cant help but wonder what the reason is my sd poofed, especially after knowing each other for several months!! Very rude in my opinion. I am assuming a new “real” girlfriend, but still a simple text or email saying I wont be able to meet up anymore would be soo nice.

    Lisa- I get how you wonder what you did wrong..I doubt it was anything, as with my arrangement it was GREAT then poof gone…I can not think of anything I did wrong, but cant help to wonder if there was something..

  461. LadyIntim says:

    RedMaru, now that’s some skills you got. You got sd’s you never met sending you money to see your pictures??? That’s awesome!

  462. LadyIntim says:

    By the way, are there any Arizona Sb’s on here??? I would love to have a girlfriend who understands this lifestyle!

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      AdventureSeekerSB to respond to your question to me about
      how long I have been a Sugar Baby and how many arrangements
      I have had.
      I joined SA about a year and a half ago. My first arrangement
      was someone I met on the blog. It lasted about 6 months. He
      was a lovely man, but as we all know sugar ends.
      My second SD found me and he was SO sweet and fun! Not to
      mention he was generous and a fabulous business mentor for me.
      I am still in contact with him and last week we had lunch with my
      current sugar. Actually my current sugar is now my fiance or did we
      secretly get married? Haha now I will never tell!
      My sugar adventures would fill a book, and being the discreet
      sugar that I am I will not post the whole story 😉
      I am go glad I joined the SA sugar world. I have met some amazing
      men. My life has changed and the sugar has been so sweet.
      But in the end my Sugar World will always be here on SA helping
      those that need advice and a friendly sugar shoulder to lean on!
      Nothing can ever replace the SA sugar blog. What a fabulous
      place to come to and know that you are among friends.

  463. Lisa says:

    Good afternoon everyone. Back from a very hard day at work. Lots of lifting, now my back is aching.

    Just found my ex sd’s profile back on the site. He’s online now too. I wish I knew what I did wrong. I guess I should leave it at maybe he’s a guy who likes to help out random woman for a while and then goes off to help another one. Anyway both potentials (not sure they would even be called that) have poofed.

  464. LadyIntim says:

    Thanks for the input, Cleo. Ya it’s really odd because usually SDs would rather make the travelling arangements for you because technically I could just pocket the money he sent me and never write him back? Of course I am not going to do that. We shall see how it turns out…5 days-I’m nervous!

  465. Dutchess says:

    Hahahaha Cleo thanks for that i had forgotten about closet gays …Damn too much competition for me….What are the few things i can do?Im trying to be old fashioned so i never holla at men i wait till they approach me but i fear i’ll day of old age before i get an Sd..Help me!!!

  466. cleo says:

    Dutchess: toronto? oh god, living here will make you think you’re a dog faster than nearly anywhere i’ve ever been.

    remember how hot you are everywhere else and try not to let dating here get you down. there’s like 30% more single women than men in toronto and that’s not counting all the closet gays.

  467. Dutchess says:

    Hello everyone!!so my profile got approved today…Im in the Toronto area and i have few concerns.I moved to Toronto from Fl area and i had Sd out there but since i’ve moved here it has been hell trying to find an Sd..I signed up on another site like this one and the men were so vulgar and disrespectful…..leaves me to wonder are Toronto Sd racists??Do they only go for Skinny size zero girls who are Caucasian.What happened to being intelligent and self sufficient??do i have to speak bimbo get surgery inorder to hook a Sd?? Im sorry im really upset and about to give up…..:(

  468. cleo says:

    it’s weird or it’s a gesture of good faith

    take the usual cyber meeting safety precautions and trust your gut.


  469. LadyIntim says:

    Good evening sugar family I need HELP! Ok, so I started talking to an SD-I emailed him first, which I usually don’t ever do…and after a quick exchange he offered to fly me in for a visit. He is married from the East Coast and travelling closer to me for business, so we are meeting half-way. Eek! He suggested that while he can make my first travel arrangements this first time, he would normally like for me to set them up myself and he just wires the money via PayPal. I agreed and he wired the travel expensees (roundtrip airefare, hotel, cab)to my paypal. I checked the paypal and it’s already in there…does anyone thinks this sounds weird? I can’t believe someone would just wire so much money over without even really getting to know me or asking me too many questions…Thoughts????

  470. stephan says:

    NYC-22: There we be a healthy mixture of both online and offline sugars at the event, and the venue itself is multilayered with a Wine Room, Resturaunt, outdoor patio, bar, Cigar Room, and private rooms. Many of the sugar daddies attending are more comforatable with IRL sugar dating and aren’t on the site, but are fans of the mutually beneficial relationship concept – which is what this meet celebrates. Feel free to call or email me if you have any other questions, or visit the SeekingArrangementParty and/or the ticket site for more details.

  471. stephan says:

    PrettySweet: There will not be any media at the event – the party is being organized by a Sugar Daddy from the site named Alan Action (top New York party planner) and with the help of his Sugar Baby. This meet is designed to provide a Fun, Understanding venue for any sugar. If you have any questions, feel free to give me a call at 702-241-0100 or email me at [email protected]. Thank you, and I hope to see you at the Party!

  472. buxombeautylv says:

    On the poofing, while I agree we SBs need to realize we can’t depend on anyone but ourselves, it is still very impolite to simply disappear from an ongoing arrangement with no notice or goodbye. It’s one thing to poof during preliminary communication if not interested, but once an arrangement is established, a good SD should not just leave a lady hanging when he decides it’s over. NSA doesn’t mean it is devoid of feeling – quite to the contrary, these men want a connection on some level (otherwise they’d simply hire escorts) so it is only normal to expect that we’d feel bad to be left hanging. A little common courtesy is always appropriate.

    I would never simply disappear with no warning and I expect the same respect in return. This doesn’t mean I’ll always get it, but I like to think the gentlemen I choose to spend my time with have enough manners to at least send me an email to say the relationship must end. No explanation is needed and I won’t contact them again beyond perhaps a brief well-wishing response (to me, that is where the NSA part comes in).

    I would hate to become so jaded that I wouldn’t care when a SD decided to move on, especially if he poofed.

    Tonight I have a 2nd date with a potential I met a few weeks ago and who’s been away so we couldn’t meet again. We got along well the first meeting and seem to have compatible goals. *excited* Oh what to wear, what to wear! 😀

  473. RedMaru says:

    Hey sugars! Its bleary and icky in GA. The kind of “stay at home, under the covers, with a nice hot cup of tea and a movie weather” but I’m at work. Got the gift card yesterday from my SD of sorts $50 to one of my favorite stores and he says this is only the first one. Debating whether i should wait till number two arrives or send a picture now

  474. cleo says:

    i see neither nyc sb nor i can spell today *g*

  475. nyc sb says:

    Adventure- commom courtesy, like common sense, is unfortunately not common

    It sicks

  476. cleo says:

    personally i find that they poof at all stages of the process. they start a conversation with you and lose interest and just disappear. and it’s not a behaviour unique to the sugar world in any way

    my favourite is the ones who swaer they won’t poof… they always do.

  477. Anna Molly says:

    Good morning 😀

  478. adventureseeker says:

    OCSugarBaby, I guess the confusion on the abrupt ending is everything was going so great, then no contact. Reading some other posts it does seem that is common though. I try to think of it from the SDs perspective. This was my first arrangement, so I have a lot learning to do for sure! Advice is great. How long have you been in sugar arrangements? how many SDs have you had/how long do they tend to last, if you dont mind my asking?

  479. adventureseeker says:

    reply to NYC SB – I completely agree with everything you wrote.One thing Ive learned from the “arrangement” ending is I really need to focus on getting a high paying career so I do not need to rely on help from SDs. It certainly needs to be considered just extra income and not to be counted on..The whole instant cut off with no closure thing just sucks though, lol even with a NSA set up a nice knowing you, goodbye.. would be so nice and just common courtsey one would think especially after many months of getting together..I guess I let myself care too much about the “arrangement” . Also, I think probably the women are getting more out of arrangements than men in terms of missing an arrangement.

    So, for people looking for a SD, while my arrangement was going on it was wonderful, exciting, intimate, the extra money was very helpful, I would def talk about the money up front as that is a big part of how this works and I would inquire about how often they wanted to meet up and what they wanted to do when your hanging out. I think if I were to have another arrangement, which I think I would like to do, It is important to not emotionally fool yourself into thinking it is any type of real relationship, it is like a fantasy on both ends I think.

    • OCSugarBaby says:

      Questions are in abundance! It is getting to the truth
      that makes it a slippery slope.
      So, true Adventureseeker, it is not a real relationship.
      It is a SUGAR arrangement which when you add
      water it desolves quickly! So how do you get them
      to last? My best advice is to keep it realistic and
      add equal parts water and sugar to keep it flowing.
      Meaning that you know it will desolve so make it
      fun for now and keep your expectations in check.

      It is so nice to see so many new people adding
      to the sugar family! ((Hugs to you all)) ~OC

  480. PrettySweet says:

    Btw to answer the real question…it’s def important to get finances and expectations before a meet. I met someone last week who was offering me so little for so much in return. That time could have been saved…so needless to say lesson learned!

  481. PrettySweet says:

    Hey sugars! So I bought tickets to the meet and I’m not sure I’m going to go anymore. If there’s a chance the media is going to be there…there’s not way I want to go. What are you thoughts about security at this event?

  482. NYC-22 says:

    A question for everyone : considering your experience in the Sugar World, would you feel uncomfortable seeing any ex-dates at the SA Party?

  483. NYC SB says:

    Lisa – once again sorry for the SD poofing

    it seems like this is a recurring theme… maybe we need to remember that while closure is nice and it is what a grown person should do… clearly it is not what most people do… lets take a moment and remember that this is an NSA arrangement…

    Enjoy the sugar while it is there and learn to rely on no one but yourself to secure your financial freedom!

  484. NYC-22 says:

    I also just had a great SB/SD relationship which ended abruptly. The SD I was seeing emailed me saying he felt uncomfortable and paranoid since his wife started checking up on him. I wrote back letting him know I’m there for him if he needs me. I haven’t heard from him since.

    So, I’m back in the game, and already have some questions : )
    1) A few weeks ago, I went on a date with a charming gentleman. We had a great time and agreed on a second date. He casually touch based with me a few days after to see how I was doing. But, I haven’t heard from him since (it’s been 10 days). In a normal dating situation, I would never text a guy first under these circumstances. Should I treat this with the same regard and wait for him to contact me? Is there a nonchalant way of reminding him of myself?

    2) While out at a lounge/club on a saturday night, I noticed a great number of older gentlemen turn heads and follow me to strike up a conversation. I was with a group of friends, and ignored them. That, however, got me thinking: do any sugar daddies lurk around looking for younger babies where younger babies would normally be found?

    Thanks for the input everyone!

  485. Lisa says:

    I benefited alot from my sds but now i’m in the process of having to save everything for my next lease since I have to pay the whole thing at once. I don’t meet the income requirements so they require prepay. With my work hours cut, i’m making less and less but working harder and harder, coming home tired everyday from doing work a small woman like myself shouldn’t do.

  486. adventureseeker says:

    Oh I know, I met up with one person after I had not heard from my 1st SD in a month..and wow, it sucked. It is just so confusing when everything is going so great then you just never hear from them again… I still don’t completely understand it, just when you believe someone cares about you then you learn they obviously did not because they don’t have the decency to let you know whatever changed and they are no longer planning to meet up. I try to think about the bills he helped me with and how it was fun and how I benefited from the time…but, still the whole just instant stop contact thing annoys me. Hopefully we can both find long term good SD’s 🙂

  487. Lisa says:

    It’s so discouraging when you have something going well and then have to go back to searching and getting few emails, and the ones that contact you are time wasters.

  488. adventureseeker says:

    in reply to Lisa…I also had a great intimacy/friendship with a SD (I would even spend the night at his house) who after taking a long trip just stopped contacting me. Its so frustrating and confusing, not only do I really I miss the financial help, but its like no closure as well, and I did really enjoy his company. Due to the nature of these “arrangements” I don’t feel like its my place to contact him..Its like a loss on the Sugar babys part and one we have no say in?? I guess that is the downside to the SB/SD thing..But I mean how hard is it to just text someone goodbye…

  489. Lisa says:

    that’s good as giftcards from strangers can be tricky. One needs to check them before proceeding to the request. I think you should send him one or two more but nothing revealing.

  490. RedMaru says:

    Lisa – Yep card’s good all $50 is on there. Yep I had two pics of him already plus a more current one. Havent sent any pics yet

  491. Lisa says:

    The hard part is hiding it from my mom that I don’t have a sd anymore. She was so happy when I told her about my sds. She doesn’t approve of it but she was glad I was seeing guys that weren’t just taking from me. Anyway i’ve got to fake a date every week to make her think i’m out with him.

  492. Lisa says:

    I really miss my sd that got me moved over here. It was very nice. He was local, we met once a week for lunch, misc things such as shopping, getting my apartment, etc and intimacy. Everything seemed fine that last time I seen him, he mentioned things we would do in the coming weeks and then took a trip and poofed. He has been logging onto the other site but his profile is still hid. I have an old email from him so I can see if’s he on even though he doesn’t show up in searches.

  493. Lisa says:

    Hi RedMaru

    I would say a 50 dollar gift card is ok but not overly extravagant. I mean really how much does 50 dollars buy in a store these days? Has he sent you any pictures? It’s ok to send him another pic but keep it somewhat conservative. Did you check to make sure the card is good?

  494. RedMaru says:

    Lisa sorry bout the poofer… obviously he needs to go to a different site

  495. RedMaru says:

    TexasSugah Lisa hugs! I’ve missed you guys! I need some advice
    Well my SD of sorts sent the first gift card. A $50 card to a favorite store of mine. Is it good for starters? He’s says its only the first one. Just to rehash the arrangement this is for pictures of me. Should I wait till more giftcards are a comin or send a pic?

  496. Lisa says:

    I think it’s most important to discuss expectations on an arrangment and to find out about their previous arrangments. I have found that those men that are new to this type of thing many times have no clue. A man I emailed with last night seemed to think having dinner, intimacy and helping with an occasional expense like gas or dry cleaning was what an arrangment involved. When I told him of my most recent one and mentioned the allowance, well he said oh I see and poofed. We had traded about 20 emails that evening but the one about allowance made him disappear. I realize now after looking at his profile again that he has been on the site forever but must have quit and came back and got a newer number.

    I think allowance and meeting expectations need to be discussed before meeting. This saves a lot of time and who wants to waste what little free time they have on meeting someone only to find out 5 minutes into the meeting that they aren’t what you’re looking for.

    On my two previous local sds, both asked on the first emails how much I expected. Both were unoffended and came through. The ones that don’t mention it, always poof

  497. TexasSugah.. says:

    Hey ya’ll

    I agree with Red.. you have to know what they want and what you’re wanting as well.

    I have found that I got myself into situations not knowing what I was doing and it just all fell apart. Now I think I have a better idea of what’s going on.

  498. RedMaru says:

    New blog and I’m first! WHOO!!!
    What questions are most important to ask pot SD or SB? Well for one it would be what do they expect out of this arrangement. Yeah we all know the definition and what one says in a profile but to have a one to one about expectations to me is important.