8 years ago
Sugar Flakes: Reasons Why


The  Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby dating scene has its fare share of flakes.

Here on the blog, there’s been lots of discussion about why a potential sugar might flake, and stories galore of various “poof daddies” and “poof babies” who turned the sugar sour for sincere seekers.

“I think there are unique reasons why sugars flake as opposed to ‘traditional daters’. I had a sugar baby flake on me once, but a few months later I got an email from her saying that the only reason she didn’t show up to meet me was because she didn’t know how to ask for help with her tuition without feeling ashamed” – sugar daddy from SA party

What is it about sugar that makes a potential more or less likely to flake?

Do you have any experiences with sugar flakes? Do you have any clue why they go poof?

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150 Responses to “Sugar Flakes: Reasons Why”

  1. JL says:

    Hello everyone.

    I flaked the first time I was suppose to meet a man I met on this site. We planned the date a week ahead of time. However, when the day came I was to nervous to actually meet him. We still talk over im once in a while. And He still asks me if I would be willing to meet him to, and I always answer I don’t know. lol

    I’m just not good at this I guess lol.

  2. GC says:


  3. lilove says:

    Hello everybody i am new at this,the sugarworld,any advice… :)

  4. misslovespinky says:

    but i like him

    so do i suggest somewhere else ?
    or just call it off ?

  5. misslovespinky says:

    just that
    i dk , he isn’t real ?
    or that he wants to kidnap me

    i know it sounds crazy but yea

    they have this one guy tho
    he is 35 and so sweet
    i feel REALLY comfortable talking to him and e-mailing him
    he let me know that this relationship is not about sex
    yet about him leading me to be successful women !

    he’s also
    VERY cute !

    but he wants to meet me at his house
    is that weird ?

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      Yes meeting at his house IS weird! Not what you do in a first meet sugar arrangement. He should know better!

      • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

        Hey Chi-Chi! No such thing as fairy tale endings. All life relationships take hard work! He is a prince of a man :)

        Hi Storm!

  6. misslovespinky says:

    i’m so nervous about meeting an SD
    i dont kno why
    i kno this is what i wnat
    because i LOVE older guys
    and i LOVE successfull guys

    any first experiences that you all can tell me about
    im 18, and black so its weird meeting
    a white SD especially but i love white guys when i see them in the store
    but meeting with one .. HELP plz ?

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      Miss loves think long and hard about going into the sugar bowl. Don’t meet unless you have a total comfort feeling about him. Meet in public and just meet to see if you have the chemistry. Don’t rush anything. Know what and how a true gentleman SD acts and shows you respect . He will also put your comfort first with respect and honesty about his intentions for seeking an SB. what are your concerns?

  7. Midwest SB says:

    Adventureseeker – my story was indeed about IRL dating and not sugar. Former sd is a prince in every way :-)

  8. james.m says:

    AdventureSeeker. I think Midwest was talking about her first IRL relationships, not her SD relationship. I hope so, anyway!

  9. Sexii Scorpio says:

    Hello Everyone!

    I just joined about 2 days ago my friend LEXIE up there told me about this. Well I’m a new mommy and my “Babby Daddy” so far hasn’t impressed me much (after 8 year relationship). He’s a great dad but not a bread maker. Unfortunately we can’t live off love :(

    So basically I’m tired of half @$$ men too… Just useful tips would come in handy.

    Ciao <3

  10. Lexie says:

    Hello again everyone. Im out of class until 6pm (Its Almost 1 o’clock, here in GA) Im at work now.

    BTW- Everybody say ‘hey’ to my bff SexyScorpio! She’s tired of datin half @$$ men too! lol

    I have a question though, do you HAVE to have a premium profile in order for people to be able to click on your name in the blogs?

    @LadyIntim- How is everything going? IDK if I missed your post, but how did your date go last night?

  11. Michael AZ says:

    New blog subject everyone. See you on the other side!

  12. cleo says:

    i thought that movie was awesome – so funny

  13. JSB says:

    Hey all. I second Cleo’s comment re: mixers/ Canadian women … I am hoping one day I will be able to attend one.

    Cleo – thnx for the safe call offer I might just take you up on it… First I am waiting to see how the pot sd takes my preference to drive .. Wish me luck!

    Can I just say I can now relate to the movie 27 dresses!! I have 7 weddings this summer and really want to experience the sugar life but find I have wedding stuff in some form every weekend for the next few weeks grrr. I need to learn how to negotiate more vacation time bc 2 weeks is just not enough !

  14. Stormcat says:

    Hi all
    Maybe my IRL day isn’t going to be so terriffic after all . . . I’m sitting in a starbucks waiting for my business partner and I think he stood me up!

    OK, I just checked and my phone is dead so he probably called. Regardless I’m packin it in, I’m way too busy to put up with shit like this!
    Really really pissed!
    (Sorry bout the neg energy here. . . I just need to vent a little)

  15. cleo says:

    lily i hope the new sd’s organizing mixers are er… more into canadian women than the last one was. and i really think something in the sugar world might just be calling your name…
    AM: i am VERY curious!
    JSB: i can be your safe call if you want?
    no rest for me i’m afraid, pilates conference this weekend!

  16. Hiya, AM!!

    It’s gonna be a relaxing weekend for me…can catch up on all things, finally!
    I’ve gotten 3 offers TODAY, from SDs I had previous contact with, who were unable to do Paris, to host a sugar mixer on their dime….
    I think this branch of my career could be the sweetest.
    AM—get a passport asap and I’m not even joking. Hurry!!!! 4 weeks from now you may get to use it….

  17. Lexie says:

    Good moring!! What’s everyone doing? I’m in my SUPER EXCITING world history class, playing on my

  18. Anna Molly says:

    You have mail Stormcat!! 😀

    See, I kept my promise 😉

  19. JSB says:

    Morning everyone!!

  20. Lexie says:

    Gerald- its funny that u responded to my post. Now, don’t take offfense to this, but the half @$$ man I’m tired of dating… his name is Gerald! Lol. He’s sweet he just makes TERRIBLE choices, and drinks WAY too much. But thanks for the reply, and I hope u find what you’re looking for! I hope we both find what we’re looking for!

    LadyIntim- I am new! I just joined like two days ago. This is really helping me get acquainted with everything! Thanks!

  21. Jeff says:

    Im a bi boy Lady =) nice to meet you

  22. Hi Stormcat ~ I will email you today, I promise :)

    I have been busy with all things sugar and I’m loving it! Lot’s of good things going on right now, so I just think it would be good for me to take a blog break and enjoy the sweet life for a little while! I’m not disappearing 😀

    Hi Lily!! Good to see you darlin’! 😀

  23. :) Hola, Storm.
    LadyI, email me – I have some similar things going on in my sugarworld.

  24. Stormcat says:

    Good Morning Sugarland
    I’m feeling pretty good today. It’s going to be a beautiful day IRL

    AM – hope you come back soon, who will I say You are about the only SB that I can depend on to have coffee on the blog with every morning.

  25. brown-sugar babe says:

    Thanks!, LadyIntim.

  26. LadyIntim says:

    Jeff, sorry for the confusion, but are you a girl or boy? :) Welcome, brown sugar!

  27. LadyIntim says:

    JSB, definitely drive yourself. If he says no then run without looking back-creep alert!

  28. brown-sugar babe says:

    Hello all…….I am new here. Very nervous & excited!

  29. Jeff says:

    Haha, hope he doesnt flake either jsb. hope he is an amazing SD. Goodluck with it and good thing your going to play it safe. I was just talking to a pot sd a few minutes ago and we are thinking of meeting places right now. Its exciting, my first pot sd. We are thinking vegas.

    Hope he doesnt flake

  30. JSB says:

    Ya see that is what I am thinking re: the driver…not only to have control but also I don’t need someone knowing my address before we meet.

    I asked one of my friends who has dated pots and she has had ppl send cars, but I just don’t think I am comfortable and agree that it is better to be safe…I was totally thrown off with the offer….good news is either way I am very familiar with the City and lived there during university so I have lots of friends if the date turns sour ahhh thanx so much for the advice and thinking of my best interests I will keep you posted on how he takes the news tomorrow…maybe he will flake haha

  31. JSB says:

    Hi to everyone…good to see some familiar names back on the blog…

    LadyInt – I think you have a great head on your shoulders and my suggestion is to just do what feels right for you…trust your gut and enjoy every minute of your sugar experience with either SD#1, SD#2, the new pot sd young stud or whoever grabs your attention…bc by the sounds of it your sugar life is going to go through some changes in the near future…hope you will continue to blog even if you become Mrs Sugar Daddy haha

    Hope everyone else is going great, welcome to the new bloggers.

  32. Michael AZ says:

    JSB – totally agree with Jeff. Do not accept the offer of the car and driver!!! Basic safety and precaution.

    You have never met this guy. It could be a dud date and then how are you going to leave when you want to?

    You want to maintain control of the situation, and that means transportation as well. Thank him very kindly for the offer, but state firmly and clearly that you will get yourself there and back.

  33. Jeff says:

    I would press the you driving issue. You need a way out like you said in case something happens. Having him send his driver to pick you up, unless you have money for an hour long trip back or a friend to pick you up, is being 100% at his mercy. WHAT IF something bad does happen? If you thank him for his gernerous offer but insist that you drive for the first meet and explain why, then a sensible person would do nothing but understand. Dont put yourself at risk for someone who is otherwise a stranger to you (at least i wouldnt). If he doesnt understand then i would say there is a problem there.

    Hope i helped, I would drive the first time, but any time after that I’de be sipping bubbly in whatever he sent for me (provided the first time went well)

  34. JSB says:

    Ok everyone I really really need advice….first I should start by saying it is funny how things have a way of working out…I have been talking to a few pot sds and was trying to decide who I would enjoy the sd/sb experience with the most. I was debating if I wanted something local or an sd who lived out of town, weighing the pro’s and con’s ..you know how it goes…but figured it would be a good idea to meet some of them in person to see how we connect….Ok so I just got off of a great phone conversation with a pot sd..we both seem to be on the same page in terms of the arrangement we are looking for and we both have similar interests so he asked what my plans were for this Fri because he is interested in meeting in person to see if tere is a connection. Exciting..yes, as this will be my first meet with a pot….ok here is where I need advice…the potential wants to send his driver to pick me up (I am about an hour outside of the city right now) and bring me into the city so we can go for dinner…I am a little thrown off by this and would prefer to just drive myself to the City because an hour is no big deal for me and I suggested it but the potential insisted…what should I do?? I really think it would be a better idea if I drove, especially because this will be our first time meeting and if we don’t get along then I can leave at any point in time. Argg sooo confuzed…I really wasn’t expecting the offer.

  35. LadyIntim says:

    LOL! Oh Michael, the suspense is killing me!

  36. Michael AZ says:

    Of course I know you are joking!! But will I be there for lunch tomorrow or not? Hmmm…

  37. LadyIntim says:

    Michael, you know I was joking, right? Friend?

  38. Michael AZ says:

    LI – I would not be so foolish as to post information about where I was having lunch tomorrow!!

    I might be a man, but I am not THAT stupid.

  39. LadyIntim says:

    PS that was a joke, everyone. I wouldn’t know if Michael did those things even if he did in fact do them. :)

  40. LadyIntim says:

    Michael, you really shouldn’t give out that type of information, you know. I am so there and I so telling everyone at Elements that you suck your thumb and wet the bed. Wrong move for real :)

  41. adventureseeker says:

    midwest sb : great comment about the SD promising you so much then “The first one crushed my heart into a million pieces” thats kind of how I feel, its my 1st SD we’ve been on/off 8 mo now.. he claims how he really cares about me, mentions future plans etc..but then thats obviously not the case..I know he dates other people his own age and when they get serious I stop hearing from him…I dont get why I cant just tell him im done and move on ( well…i get money when we do hang out and I do enjoy it) but for how much its messed with my head it just seems crazy I really care and stick around. I just dont get why the arrangement thing cant be more honest and direct. It is sad to say that it is kind of comforting hearing these things have happened to others but it also makes me not have a great opinion of SDs that do it..This blog is a great place to talk/ get advice/vent about this stuff cause in real life I dont really have people to talk to about it because they dont know i do this.

  42. Michael AZ says:

    LI – having lunch tomorrow with an IRL pot at Sanctuary on Camelback. Keep away! :-)

  43. Midwest SB says:

    I believe SDN and LASB had a blog wedding with AM and another SD as the maid of honor and best man. It got a little carried away later with blog affairs, divorces, etc.

    It was all in fun :-)

  44. LadyIntim says:

    Midwest, how exciting! Blog weddings? Please tell me at least one story !!!

  45. Midwest SB says:

    LadyI – Thank you. I was unclear about how long you two have been together. I fully trust that you know what is best and will be sending wedding gifts on the big day :-)

    BTW – We’ve been known to have blog weddings!

    If anything, hopefully shared experiences will be useful in letting others know not to doubt yourself or ask what you did wrong when someone poofs. Some things are just beyond our control.

  46. Jeff says:

    it sucks finding flakes, and sometiems thats all we get. But although sometimes it hurts it can be viewed as a good thing. I would rather have someone flake rather than fake…not meant to rhyme but hey it did. Being cheated on or lied to hurts worse than someone just leaving; it allows you to lose trust in your fellow human beins, the lieing. And as far as flaking goes, the sooner the better, the longer it goes on the deeper the emotional scars. I havent experienced any flaking yet from this site as I am a new member, but i hope to find a good SD or SM soon thats in it for the long haul.

    Time to play the sugar bowl i guess? lol

  47. Midwest SB says:

    Welcome to all the new sugar babies and sugar daddies!!! If you see sbs names in blue, it sometimes links to a blog that has additional information. They are very helpful for when you are trying to get started! I haven’t been on as long as the others, but have had one wonderful SD and hope to be close to having another very soon. :-) ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*sugar dust ~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~

    Rachel – any good prospects yet?

    Gerald – I completely agree! I have met men of great character and intelligence since joining the sugarbowl! I may never return to traditional dating !

    Sweet Jezebel asks: “So the wife says, “In order for me to trust you enough to give my heart to you again, it will have to be just the two of us in this marriage. When will you break it off with your mistress?” To which he responds (a) “I can’t do it until _________ because ___________. (b) “I am going to do it right now”
    I’m not sure if that is a question specifically for the SDs, but my answer is B as I am a hopeless romantic and believe most long-term marraiges have survived because they have forgiven things like infidelity, abuse, gambling, etc.

  48. LadyIntim says:

    Midwest, I am sorry about your unfortunate experience..those men clearly didn’t deserve you. Sounds a bit cowardly if you ask me. I’ve been with this SD for about a year now…and the “L” bomb dropped about 3 weeks ago and it’s been progressively getting heavier.

  49. Midwest SB says:

    Stormcat – Thanks!! That was sweet. Truth is, much of it was learned here.

    LadyI – I hope all this goes as your heart desires.

    I do feel compelled to share a personal story (it does involve flakes, so legit) and hope that it provides perspective, but not meant to discourage.

    Three times in the past 5 years I have had IRL relationships with men who proclaimed their undying love and made promises of marraige, family and happily ever after within a month of meeting them. The first one crushed my heart into a million pieces within 6 weeks and renewed his relationship with his psychopathic, alcoholic ex gf. The second one disappeared after 4 months citing a woman he fell in love with, but was unavailable at the time, had returned. The third ended up having several girlfriends with whom he was madly in love with. Are you starting to see the pattern? They get “high” on the newness of a relationship and bring you into the high…much like an addict. They disappear as quickly as they appear. Love with abandoned, but know that there are some who abuse the word vs. embracing the gift.

    Do I believe in love at first sight – Yes!
    Do I believe it’s the kind of love that lasts forever – I hope it does for some.
    Would I rather hold out for the slow burn that builds into a glowing infeno – Absolutely!

    I have had my one true love and I am truly grateful. If it comes again, wonderful. If not, that’s ok too. I’m at peace.

    That’s love…THIS is the Sugar Bowl! I love playing in the sugar!!! I agree with Shoogar that 6 months is long enough to become emotionally invested, but still have the ability to accept the reality that is was never meant to be anything more. Reminds me of “Sweet November” in a way.

    Lisa – (((hugs))) Just when it was all going right. Hang in there.

  50. Rachel 386002 says:

    Hi all… so I took last night as a “me” night… and it was GREAT! Sounds like you’ve all been up to interesting things in the last day or 2.

    Midwest… haven’t talk to you in a while! Glad to see you here!

    AnnaM… sorry to hear you won’t be posting for a while, we’ll miss ya!

  51. LadyIntim says:

    -Michael, that is so funny! We stayed at the Phoenician the other night and entertained having lunch on the patio this afternoon, but opted to have it naked in our room. Too much info? Deal with it! :) But what a small world, how funny would it be if I ran into you? I would totally recognize you but would keep walking and tell you later. Have a blast with your SB, friend!
    – Hi, Anna Molly, why are you leaving us? Did we misbehave again? :O)
    -Hey, Lexie! I’m not sure if you are new to the blog, but thank you for your kind advice, babe. You are totally right-easy does it. Unfortunately I have ants in my pants and can’t sit on my hands to see what will come of it all. So I continue my quest …
    -Sweet Jezzy…The next chapter is a mystery to me. But Honey, you can’t babysit THIS! OK? :)I’m not going to put my life on hold for anything that imbeds an ounce of doubt in my mind. I go for a sure thing these days. So, if it works-great. If it doesn’t, I’m prepared anyway.

    My lunchdate update: He was exactly who he said he was. Cute, successful, easy-going, and YOUNG. 37 years old. Pump your breaks baby…he’s too young to be anyone’s daddy. I’m looking for a DADD-Y! So, I don’t know. We had a blast at lunch. The conversation was easy and fun. I couldn’t really tell if he was all that attracted to me, but he did keep asking me about my financial expectations and other things that lead me to believe that he planned on getting together again. Anyway, it was the perfect lunch date…nothing heavy. Who knows. If he contacted me again I wouldn’t too upset about it.

  52. Gerald says:

    Hey there Lexie and welcome…I’ve beat you here by about a week :)

    You made a statement that I agree with:
    “Hi… I’m new to this WHOLE arrangement. I’ve never had a SD. I’m just tired of dating half @$$ men.”

    Work stories from virtually all the women there of useless bf/husbands that don’t work, play video games all day (grown/older guys doing that for hours straight – who has time for that?), etc. Let me promise you that half @$$ women in the regular dating/gf world are plague as well (and I’ve been a magnet for them). Last one I had as of 2 months ago…wasted 2.5 years of my life…ended when the police called me asking me to come get my Jeep she was driving since they were taking her to jail for DWI after she had been out of rehab for less than 4 days (yes, I am considering a tatoo with the acronym “YSB”; aka You Stupid Bastard).

    So far, this site is mecca…I feel like I should face SA HQ several times a day and chant or bow. I am meeting some of the coolest chicks in the SE…Barbie appearance, educated, and fun. SA beats any other venue I have ever used to meet ladies.

    Anywho my guess is that there will be an SD that is for you here. I’ve watched some post on here, and while I’m new to this too, it seems the guys posting on this blog are gentlemen. Good luck!

  53. NYC SB says:

    LadyI – your hubby SD reminds me of my ex SD NYSE… who promised the world but doubt he would have ever gone through with his promises had i accepted… i chose to decline but i really hope your SD follows through… however as we all know the “i need time” is the kiss of death when it comes to any kind of relationship

  54. Sweet Jezebel says:

    Hey all~LadyI, RedM, Storm, Michael, Lexie, Jamie, NerdGirl, G-Force, all you lovely lurkers. Have fun AM and come back to us as soon as you can.

    Hi Slowandeasy~It’s part of his immeasurable charm, and it happens to the best of us on here from time to time, you’ll see ;D

    LadyIntim~ My exuberant and hearty Congratulations are overdue. That’s really exciting, heady stuff. It sounds almost fairy tale-like but it’s happening for you and because it’s what you want, it’s that much more magical. Enjoy!

    Re: today’s update – That head of yours is screwed on as tight as ever and you seem to be making all the right moves – Good for you. As RedM says, a pinch of skepticism (sp) is healthy, even advisable, in this situation.

    My take: Unless I misinterpret, in one of your earlier posts he was separated from his wife from very early in the marriage. He even sounded more definite about getting the house here and you both were going house-hunting. Did that happen? Do you think he secretly hoped you would “renounce” SD1 as soon as he declared his L for you? Could he have been hoping you would risk all/more for “L”?

    It’s so messy when SugarLand meets/collides with IRL – I should know 8)

    Let’s say a couple has grown apart over the years, the man has had affairs, and currently has a mistress. Though not happy about the situation, the wife has been long-suffering and tolerated it all. Then one day they have this really deep talk (it doesn’t matter what precipitated it or even who initiated it). During this talk they were both velnerable with each other and they seem to have connected in a way they haven’t in years. After much tears (from both), they practically recommitted themselves to the marriage by promising to focus on each other and put their relationship first.

    So the wife says, “In order for me to trust you enough to give my heart to you again, it will have to be just the two of us in this marriage. When will you break it off with your mistress?” To which he responds (a) “I can’t do it until _________ because ___________. (b) “I am going to do it right now”.

    How would you write the next chapter?

  55. BrOWnSKiiN says:

    heyY y’all, uh mm so i’m new to all of this and i can understand why she had flaked. I mean there is danger in this world. and sometimes it is awkward having to ask someone for help. but i’m not like that i totally committ to all of my commitments.

  56. Lexie says:

    @LadyIntim… I am so in your shoes right now. Except the guy isnt a SD, in fact, he’s about as broke as me LOL. But he’s the sweetest guy in the world. We started out as FWB b/c he’s ‘unhappily married’. But we ended up falling for each other. He says he’s gonna leave her, but I’m not holding my breath on that one. I would tell you just continue to date. Eventually, things will work themselves out. If he’s sincere, then he’ll make the move without asking you to put YOUR life on hold. If he’s not, he’ll stay with his wife, and YOU just dodged a bullet. Good luck on your date, and in your situation!!!

  57. Lisa says:

    I need a new sd. Not getting any good responses. My ex sd is online everyday too :(

    Cloud of doom hovers over. Daughter lost all financial aid because she gave info for her granparents whom she has lived with for 5 years instead of my info, even though teacher said it was correct. She’s got to pay back over 9k in grants and won’t be able to take her second year of college. She was going to be the first person in my family to go to college. She was on dean’s list and everything but now she’s in debt and has to drop out. And today mom’s dog (dog was 13 years old and blind) got loose from leash and fell off second story porch of apartment :(

    Sorry to be so gloomy as every hates negativity but life sucks sometimes. My sds have poofed

  58. Peaches says:

    Hi everyone. I have had a lot of SD flakes. I am to the point of giving up. I read these blogs all the time and see so many SB’s finding SD’s and make it seem easy. I have been trying for about 6 months and always get a lot of BS from SD’s. They are always saying they DONT want a prostitute yet that is how they keep treating me. Why is it so hard to find a normal SD???

  59. Well, I’m not going to post for a while. Good luck y’all!

  60. Slowandeasy says:

    Well Stormcat….

    “Slowandeasy – I don’t find your comments intimidating at all. I am very highly educated, have a very high IQ, and don’t have any qualms about engaging an intelligent woman. I would observe that you actually seem more like someone who is bitter and resentful of the fact that many of the beautiful, entertaining, fun-loving women who are SBs here, are actually also quite intelligent; it’s just that they aren’t arragonant about it!”

    Perhaps you are not the ‘typical’ SD. How nice!
    And the fun-loving, entertaining and beautiful SB’s you refer to, would include me incidentally.
    By the way, just for your information, you misspelled ‘arrogant’.

  61. Ingenue says:

    Hello everyone! First post, although I have learned much from reading. I have a question for the SDs: how do you feel about 18-year old SBs?

  62. Michael AZ says:

    Hi LadyIntim – my SB is in town. Having a Really Excellent day! Just had lunch at the Phoenician.

    I think that you are doing the right thing. You have to wait until he is free and clear. Hope and plan for the best, but also prepare yourself in case it does not happen.

    Life is full of these type of gambles and choices. Some go your way, some don’t. This is one of the beauties of life. Trying to make everything go your way often makes it go the other way. Let it continue and it will unfold as it unfolds. It’s very hard to do this, but trust me grasshopper, this is the best way. Don’t force it.

  63. LadyIntim says:

    Ugh! Thank you RedMaru, I really appreciate that. It’s absolutely ridiculuos what I am going through mentally. Red, Michael AZ SD (where are you?), and anyone else who has been following my current events…Do you think it’s fair for me to continue living the single life style until My husband SD gets his divorce? He doesn’t put any kind of pressure for me to do anything, nor does he ask for exclusivity…he just says to do what feels right, which only makes things harder. I know he hates that I am not all his, but he says he understands that he can’t expect it at least right now. And he swears he will be back for me in a serious way etc etc…Two things might happen. A- I will marry this guy and have a beautiful family and everything I could ever ask for. Or B-Loose one hell of an amazing sugar daddy. He is no longer an SD! I would rather have him as my husband…duh…of course, but I’ll be pissed if things deterriorate if we don’t go in that direction. So, I will either have nothing at all or everything! What a gamble!

  64. RedMaru says:

    Hey LadyIntim – you got a doozy of a situation. A little skepticism is healthy and I think you’re going about it the right way not holding your breath. Take a nice deep breath before going to this date and have a nice lunch

  65. Lexie says:

    Thanks for the welcome Red!

  66. LadyIntim says:

    Hi, everyone. Ok, so I just got back home after an amazing 24 hour date with my pot. husband SD. LOL. Ok, so I have to report that the “L” bomb that he dropped on me has ruined the dynamics completely. Before I was just his Sugar Baby, a secret part-time girfriend…Now I don’t know what the hell I am. And I am afraid I only added fuel to the fire by saying it back. My mind is a total wreck because the problem is this: I can and would drop everything this very second to be with him. Now he needs time. And I’m not exactly how much time, which is killing me. Of course, I understand that he has a lot more to “drop” and change to be with me…For example, finalizing things with his WIFE, Moving to United States…and of course, asking all along the way, “IS THIS GOOD FOR MY DAUGHTER?” He says that this is going to be a challenge until his situation is settled, which he says will happen as quickly as possible. But the thing is that alghout I care about him deeply, I can’t believe it until I see it. This is so bad…but like I said in the past..we are not equal. I am not with anyone I love/loved/or have serious interest in. He is still married and lives with a woman he was in love with at least at some point…and no matter how much I wish everything he says will occur, I can’t bet all my cards on him. What I am trying to say is that I’m going out to lunch with a pot. SD in an hour. I’m going to hell.

  67. RedMaru says:

    Welcome NerdGirl14 and Lexie to our sugar fam! Glad to have you!

  68. Lexie says:

    Hi… I’m new to this WHOLE arrangement. I’ve never had a SD. I’m just tired of dating half @$$ men. Any advice on how to go about this?

  69. Jamie says:

    shoogar shoes- thank you for the advise. it helps to get input from sb and sd who have been on the site a while. and your reply actually gave me some motivation and a smile on my face thanks again.

    When is it the right time to meet up with a SD? A couple of emails…a month or 2? i dont know when it woukd be the right time. any advise?

  70. NerdGirl42 says:

    Hi everyone! I am new to SeekingArrangement and I have to say that I LOVE this blog! The support and advice is priceless.

    I was on another site and I talked to a potential SD, set up a time to meet, and then he flaked. Later he wrote as if nothing happened, and asked if I could meet him somewhere else. I politely declined and wished him the best, but how weird is that?

    I’m relieved (if saddened) to hear it’s not uncommon, or due to something I did wrong.

  71. Ah, yes, cleo. I see and I most definitely concur.

  72. cleo says:

    i more meant that i can see the two year mark being a point where both parties might start to legitimately move to a crossroads or crossover into a more permanent and official relationship…

  73. Hello RedMaru – I have missed some of you posters too. My schedule has been extremely busy with business and travel, but I still like to peek in occasionally!

  74. cleo – even after 6 months it is very ‘real’ and parting then can even cause some moments of turmoil while simultaneously leaving you with a happy feeling of having known that person. The emotions involved, whether the arrangement is 6 months or two years are expected. We are, after all, humans; not androids.

  75. cleo says:

    shoogar that’s very interesting re the 2 year mark, i can kind of see it. at that point how can things start to feel anything but ‘real’ ?

  76. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugarfam!
    SugarCaneBaby I feel your pain and the guys that flaked on you are losing out anyway. For every one of them there is a wonderful SD who sees the beautiful you and not your ethnic background so dont give up.

    Anywhoo have I had a flake experince yep from one who was certified no less. We had this great email convo back and forth talking about likes and dislikes with him telling me I was so sweet and then he doesnt respond anymore. I spent a while wondering what I said to scare him away then I just forgot it and moved on.

    ShoogarShoes, Stormcat, AnnaMolly I’ve missed ya guys hows it going

  77. Jamie – Welcome to the Sugar World. If you peruse some of the blog archives, you will gain a plethora of VERY useful information from experienced SBs and SDs both.

    RE: Whether or not you should approach the pots or vice versa?

    The answer is both. Some SBs are not comfortable taking the initial step, but if you are, you most certainly should. If you read a profile that strikes your fancy and you are comfortable doing so, send a quick of introduction. My advice is to make it short and sweet, but also personal. Mention something specific from his profile that jumped out at you. Just remember you have to have a lot of patience in this endeavor. And just like sales, there are three ways of dealing with rejection: just move on, don’t take it personally, and learn from it. Good luck!

  78. Gerald – I am in agreement with you that some of the most beautiful and educated women are on SA. A few on this very blog of whom I have been most fortunate to meet in person through some of our organized meets (the ones we have put together ourselves).

    RE: How long an arrangement should last?

    IMO, it isn’t so much how long they should last, but how long YOU want one to last. Mine have each been 6 months and handled on a contract basis with options to renew. Sounds a bit business-like I know and not all like this method as it seems a bit impersonal. However, they ARE arrangements and ultimately are meant to have an end date at some point. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be on a site called ‘seeking arrangements’ after all, now would we? I know and have heard of a few arrangements that flourished into more, but I really feel those are anomalies. I also know of some SB/SD arrangements that lasted over 2 years. With that in mind, I have also heard testimonials from those very sugar relationships stating they were very difficult because hitting the two year mark somehow made it a little more difficult to deal with the myriad of emotions that came with the conclusion of those arrangements. A one year arrangement would be MY ideal situation.

  79. Stormcat says:

    Taking the 5th on that

    Yes – G force – you missed all the fun.

  80. Michael AZ says:

    Stormcat – re brainwashing. Mormon or Gumby?

  81. Anna Molly says:

    That’s great Stormcat!! Congratulations! 😀

  82. Gerald says:

    All I got to say is wow! Sorry I haven’t been watching your blog but holy cow this site can quite easily turn into a part-time job.

    Poofing (blog subject): No one has poofed on me yet. Me, I’m trying my best to answer the messages, please be patient…anyone that has sent me a message…I hid the profile (it was up less than a week), put an update on it and am trying to answer the messages. I’m not trying to poof – I under-estimated on an exponential level the volume. Never in my life have I had this happen and I’m floored.

    One prediction I had that came true…my being a magnet for some nuts. When I send an email saying no as nicely as possible, several have replied with argumentative rebuttals apparently trying to subject my prior decision to some kind of administrative review or something (wth!?!). Sure let’s start the arrangement out arguing…perfect (not!).

    On the other hand, some of the most beautiful educated women in the country are on this site. True gems and I’m talking to some of those and actively setting those up with trips through my assistant (I called in reinforcements for trip planning and scheduling since she already controls that for me anyway in all other matters).

    Things are progressing well and I’m learning vast amounts about how this thing really works now…I’m a quick study 😉 I wish I had been on this site a LONG time ago. I LOVE YOU SA!!!!!!

    Btw, SBs…how long do you think an arrangement should last?

    PS – Stormcat…have I missed anything crazy or funny on here? :)

  83. Stormcat says:

    MichaelAz ~ awsome! OK I can’t resist asking . . .
    well yes I can . . . so I won’t!
    Just that I’m still recovering from the brainwashing experiance of my childhood.

  84. Stormcat says:

    I also want to say that I wish I could spend more time blogging here because I don’t get to respond to many of the posts that I read and really want to respond to. I think some bloggers might not think I even notice what they’ve posted, when in actuality I am really impressed. Like I have never said anything before, but I think Midwest has some of the most lucid awsome comments I have ever read. And some of the difficulties expressed in first time posts are very compelling and I would love to comment on them. The thing is that we all are in the same boat and try to say what we can to help each other. I think that is the wonder of this forum. So whether I’m offering my thoughts, or drinking from the encouragement given me, I thank all of my fellow bloggers for being so astute.

  85. Michael AZ says:

    Stormcat – 1 year? That’s great!!

    Glad you liked my hippie outfit. Halloween last year. Previos year my buddy and I were Mormons – short sleeved white short, skinny tie, back pack, mountain bike, the Good Book under our arms. The whole trip.

    Year before I was Gumby. Had to fight off the chicks. It was a good year.

  86. Stormcat says:

    Oh I almost forgot. Hi everyone, Welcome all of the new sugars posting for the first time.

    Sweet J – wow thanks! Such a nice thing to say to me :)

    AM – we’re hanging in there. Having our 1st anniversary this friday. First date/first kiss one year ago friday. I think that is pretty damn kool!

  87. Michael AZ says:

    Midwest – amen to your comment “Confidence is sexy! Many SDs love a sexy, ambitious woman.” A confident woman who knows what she wants and is going for it – there is nothing sexier! I don’t care what she looks like like … ummm, well I do, but you know what I mean … confidence, humour, smart, funny – these are all the desired attributes.

    And if they don’t have these attributes, but she is gorgeous? I will poof.

  88. Stormcat says:

    NYCSB – You are awsome and you deserve the very best. I hope it works out for you. Congradulations! ! ! :)

    Muse – When I first encountered you on the blog using this handle I thought now that is a little too egotistical. But when I met you in real life and found out how sweet and humble you are, combined with how exceptionally beautuful you are, I realized that Muze is right on!!! You don’t need a cupid . . . if men aren’t simply falling all over themselves to be with you it is probably because you are so obviously beyond them that they are afraid to even try!

    Slowandeasy – I don’t find your comments intimidating at all. I am very highly educated, have a very high IQ, and don’t have any qualms about engaging an intelligent woman. I would observe that you actually seem more like someone who is bitter and resentful of the fact that many of the beautiful, entertaining, fun-loving women who are SBs here, are actually also quite intelligent; it’s just that they aren’t arragonant about it!

    LadyI – I’m just a little worried that you are moving too fast and are leaving yourself vulnerable. It can’t hurt to take it a little slower just to be sure about your good feelings.

  89. Michael AZ says:

    NYC SB – happy dance for your happy dance!!!

  90. Jamie says:

    hi everyone….im new to this site and im pretty excited about it. i could use some advise i dont know how all of this works like emailing a pot sd am I suppose to approach them or vise versa? this is going to take some getting use to but if anyone has any advise on how things work and how i can be successful at meeting the right sd i would love to hear anything that will help. thank you so much
    xoxo Jamie.

  91. NYC SB says:

    Muse – no YOU are a powerful woman (blushes)

  92. NYC SB says:

    lily is the party planner extraordinaire! lets hope many more are in store for the future

  93. Anna Molly says:

    Good evening everyone! Congrats NYC! 😀

  94. Midwest SB says:

    ***raises hand*** me too, me too!

  95. Yay for NYC SB!! Yes, you two are dashing together, indeed! Loved his laugh and the smile you had on your face while with him. Smitten Kittens!

    Lily sure AS HELL can throw one HECK of a Sugar Party. That’s all I can say about THAT!

    Still recovering…

  96. Muse says:

    NYC SB – I am super happy for you and can only say your success is due to your being such a powerful woman. (Oh, and Lily playing Cupid, of course….which reminds me…)

    Lily – If you feel like playing cupid again, I’m happy to be your volunteer.

  97. MindyNYC says:

    Ok, no celebrating (yet)…but a big GOOD LUCK nycsb! xo

  98. NYC SB says:

    no celebration until the 3 month mark lol

  99. Midwest SB says:

    NYC – That’s awesome!!! Woo hoo!!! Major celebration! Didn’t you meet him at Lily’s meet? Lily can throw one heck of a party!

  100. NYC SB says:

    :: Does a happy dance ::

  101. NYC SB says:

    jet set and lily – thanks… again all of this is still very delicate but lets hope it becomes something awesome in the mean time lets keep it within our sugar sister family… lily aka cupid is an appropriate name change… big thanks to sweet euro for the help in letting him know about the sugar world…

  102. BTW my last comment was obviously in response to NYC SB’s update. :)

  103. Oh my gosh, you two are so meant for one another! What a smoking hot couple. I feel like a smug little cupid.

  104. Midwest SB says:

    Evening all!

    Slowandeasy – Confidence is sexy! Many SDs love a sexy, ambitious woman. Then again, they ask themselves “what can I offer her that she can’t provide for herself?” It’s a delicate balance that I know you can attain. I know several self-sufficient and successful sbs (including myself) who find amazing SDs. Slow and easy indeed.

    Adventureseeker – I mean this in the nicest possible way…he is not treating you like a sugar baby and doesn’t deserve you sweetie. Move on and definitely follow the wonderful advice that has already been shared.

    LI – congratulations…I wish you well and trust you will go about your plan in the best possible way.

    Someone asked if changing your profile moves you up in the searches…yes it does. It seems that if you change your profile heading or some part of the text on Wed, it will get approved quickly and you can move you up in the searches. It also helps to log in daily and possibly several times a day during the weekend. I tend to get the most activity on sundays.

    Hi Rachel – I remember you from before! I stay in touch with one of your CT sugar sisters!

  105. JetSet says:

    Woo Hoo for NYC! And not to mention he’s VERY attractive!!! The best kind of sugar!!!


  106. NYC SB says:

    Hi everyone… May I just take a moment and say that when you walk away from sugar it finds its own way into your lap. I have met a wonderful man with whom I have an amazing chemistry with. He has wired my allowance and I cannot wait to see him again. I am a bit worried as he has never done the sugar daddy/sugar baby thing before but I am willing to enjoy the ride.

  107. slowandeasy says:

    The typical sugar daddy in my inductive opinion, is attracted to the ‘sugar flake’. The sugar daddy, perhaps subconsciously, targets the sugar flake. It gives the sugar daddy a sense of superiority, dominance and power. I, for example, am an educated lady, confident, strong and independent. I do not need a baby sitter, nor do I need a ‘father figure’. Rather, I am the optimum companion, friend and partner. This tends to scare away the average ‘sugar daddy’ because there is a true sense of equality, which they do not actually seek. The sugar daddy wants a sense of neediness upon him to feel important! Shallow, and a false sense of fulfillment, obviously, but to the insecure sugar daddy, this is criteria.
    Let’s see how the comments of a confident and educated lady intimidates the sugar daddy…..if you disagree, then prove me wrong!

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      I will give my answers to the Topic at hand…

      What is it about sugar that makes a potential more or less likely to flake?
      I will answer it from my own perspective. How I flaked and why. Certain things
      that were said in an email would make me flake. For example, completely perved
      Do you have any experiences with sugar flakes? I was a sugar flake, no really I mean a lot.
      A lot a lot. Wow, can I appoligize for doing that? So-rrr-y!
      Being picky was the main reason, but I tried to respond back with a polite no or I do not
      feel meeting at this point would be right. However with time and life getting in the way, I may
      have flaked a time or two. However I never stood anyone up or cancelled same day. If I actually
      agreed to meet someone for dinner I followed thru.

  108. Rachel 386002 says:

    Wow, what a LONG day. I’m exhausted. I don’t even want to read emails I’m that drained. I think I’ll grab myself a glass of wine, have a small bite to eat and RELAX.

    Oh how I need a day at the spa.

    I see all the advice and comments going round. I must say I love how everyone rallies around everyone to help with anything.

  109. adventureseeker says:

    thanks for the reply advice/comments! I guess I wish I was as important to him as he claims, but actions speak louder than words and his actions lack his claims..I just dont get why someone would make plans and say things they dont mean, just dont say the things! lol I just wish everyone on both sides could be upfront and direct about things. Its an “arrangement” It should be easy right?

  110. SugaCaneBby says:

    Gah. Well I’ve found that most men flake on me once they realize what my ethnic background. Really blows because I think if we’re clicking in every other department, why should my skin be a deal-breaker??? After all, HE contacted ME. It DOES list my race on my profile and I must have said something right to snag his attention. And now a 180. 😐 I’m not knocking preferences at all, but they’re just preferences, not hard limits. At least my preference isn’t or I wouldn’t even consider sugar dating as it doesn’t exist here.

    Sorry to seem embittered today, that just sorta bruised my pride a bit. I’ll get over it.

  111. Michael AZ says:

    You go girl. We expect a full update tomorrow! Enjoy.

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      Yea LadyIntim! Just take a deep breath and enjoy the ride

      Dena maybe slow it down and see if you can communicate clearly in your profile that
      it is a monthly allowance that you seek. You can then pre-determine in your communications
      with them that they read that in your profile. You drove 5 times to meet someone at their
      house for dinner and did not have an arrangement or you did have an arrangement?
      Being in financial need is what drives a large percentage of SB’s to the sugar bowl. You are
      among friends :)

  112. LadyIntim says:

    Well, Michael, you remember that before I cancelled my profile my nickname was Intimidation. So, that’s pretty darn close! I had lots of fun ideas for a name, but this one came up on top. Cleo, thank you. Yes, I am a big believer in Karma. Thank you Mindy, for your kind comments as well. So, how is everyone doing? I’m getting ready to go meet my future husband SD as he has arrived at a nearby resort. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns…and I am in the front row with popcorn. Can’t wait to see what happens. And he leaves tomorrow already UGH!

  113. Michael AZ says:

    LadyIntimidator sounds much more fun :-)

  114. cleo says:

    lady intim? i like your style

    i have an ex that had mutual antipathy with me for three years, but he could have called anytime adn i would have nursed him through surgery in a second.

    just because it’s over doesn’t mean i’m not grateful to have known you

  115. MindyNYC says:

    HI ALL!
    Just saying hello… Nothing much to add, as great advice has been given…
    Adventureseeker, yeah the 1st SD is hard to leave no matter how unhappy we are. The good thing is that once you do put your foot down and leave, the sense of freedom is so much more rewarding than the relationship ever was. You’ll do it when you’re ready. Good Luck!
    LadyIntim, I understand your loyalty to SD1. The last kind act you can give him is to take care of him in his time of need like he took care of you. Good luck with SD2, you guys seem to be heading down the right path.

    Hope everyone is having a good day!


  116. LadyIntim says:

    PS, Michael, Lady Intim has a double meaning. But you were on the right track ! :)

  117. LadyIntim says:

    Hi, Miachel, Cleo…thank you two for the advice. Michael, I just wanted to point out that my foreign SD isn’t leaving his wife for me. Their marriage was over before he even met me. As I mentioned earlier, he married her with the intent to have children. She played along with his plans until he married her, and as soon as he brough it up, she started saying that maybe they should just travel, focus on each other, and enjoy life. Though that sounds wonderful, she is rapidly approaching her 40’s, and the toon she is signing now is a pretty far stretch from the original plan to begin a family. I almost think that she married him for his high profile and wealth. I come from a big family. I grew up in the kitchen with my grandmas, cousins, and the rest of my big fam. My married SD is Italian and so we both agree that family is important. Not to sound jaded, but I don’t believe in fairtytale marriages that last a lifetime. If it happpens, great but I want to marry a person whom I genuinely care about and respect because the main reason I want to get married in the first place is to have children. He has one child already and she is his world.

    As far as dropping SD#2 sooner…it might very well happen. I resent him for lying to me the way that he did. It’s offensive and RUDE. He just wants to have me isolated in Arizona, waiting for him to get done with his other girls and have everything ready for him when he is in town. I might be stupid for staying with him for as long as I did, but I blame the government for keeping me stupid :) with this unstable economy and law changes. At any rate, Michael AZ SD, you hit the nail on the head when you say that I might be dragging it out with SD #1 because my married SD hasn’t finalized his divorce. While I have a great deal of trust and faith invested in that relationship, the fact of the matter is that he is not yet available. It’s hard enough to marry a single man, not to mention a man who is still married. The bottom line is this. He is worth waiting for and I’m not struggling to make ends meet, so I can afford to wait. I’m pretty sure that if I asked him to support me fully he would..he offered it on many occasions when things with SD#1 get unbearable, but I think that somehow it could hurt my chances with him. I know he is fully capable financially, but I don’t want him to think that I’m already his before he even asked officially ( A RING).

    Another reason why I’m not walking now is because my SD#1 is having a serious surgery in first week of July. He is flying in for the surgery and will be on bedrest for 3 weeks. Clearly, despite all the BS he put me through in the past, I am not going to abandon him during that diffucult time. I already promised to take good care of him and I plan on following through with that promise. He really changed my life in many wonderful ways. Sometimes people forget all the good things very easily as they become overshadowed by the bad. Well, I’ve been let down before, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t have certain level of loyalty.

  118. Oh yeah, it happens all the time Dena. Sorry to hear about your troubles, but hang in there, things will get better and pretty soon your perfect SD will come along! Good Luck 😀

  119. Dena says:

    Hey guys, I had to post because I’ve had more flakes lately than ever! I’m a SB and have met about 5 SD’s in the past 4 months. Either it’s one date only (after numerous emails) and they then have some “excuse” for not being able to continue…(the latest was the guy’s “wife” was suspicious) and the guy before him who I traveled an hour each way – 5 times on my dime for dinner’s at his place (one of them in a restaurant) decided that he wanted a “girlfriend” instead of a SB afterall. (Thank god we did nothing more than kiss). The guy before him was a one-night-stand and he never called again. It’s really getting to me! I’m ready to just leave the site and deal with my financial situation in another way…I just don’t get it. They have all told me how attractive I am and how my personality meshes with theirs…Have any of you SB’s encountered similar circumstances?

  120. Michael AZ says:

    Cleo – very true words. Once LI decided to move on, the space opened. Amazing how often that happens.

    If I may finesse my comments above (I was half asleep and typing on my phone when I made them), make sure that the new relationship / arrangement is in place before leaving SD 1.

    I think that we have all heard many stories about men promising to leave their wives for the new girlfriend, and things just seem to happen to delay the breakup of the marriage.

    Speaking from personal experience (and yes it was ugly), even when you do leave a marriage for another person, there are still a lot of issues to work through. And no matter what the intent of both parties, a successful relationship is not guaranteed. In such a situation, you have to work even harder, to make it all work. There is typically a lot of baggage.

    Don’t rush anything. Let it unfold at it’s own pace.

  121. cleo says:

    michael she should go with her plan, he has a wife that he still lives with, she can do as she needs to to feel closure with sd #1. that said, if it’s only about needing a couple more months of allowance it is probably worth talking to mr married and asking for help.
    ladyintim that sounds pretty excellent. interesting to me that it happened after you decided to make a change. seems you opened a space…

  122. adventureseeker says:

    Sweet Jezebel..thank you for the advice it is a very tricky situation and kind of sucks because I do like him and love it when were together and he treats me with respect(when were together, disappearing for a few months here and there is not respectful though) I almost think next time( if there is a next time i should just meet up to say bye im not ok with how this is going.. but at the same time its like i hope it continues regularly and i love the financial help when we do hang out ,so that makes it hard for me to say bye..but at the same time it messes with my head being so on/off and his pretending? he cares) He pays me when we hang out, not a set allowance. Its like he just fills me with false hope..very frustrating, i dont know why i think hes a good person, but i just do. Its like we developed a friendship which im obviously the only one who really cares about it..but its just when were together he is soo nice and i guess thats what makes it hard and confusing. I did meet one other SD but I didnt really like him, making me like this one more..this one is my 1st arrangement so maybe its like i have a special spot for the 1st arrangement lol… i dont know!!! advice is always good so thank you!

  123. Michael AZ says:

    LadyIntim – girlfriend, we need to talk! It sounds wonderful, especially if you fell for him a long time ago, but weren’t able to tell him. Go for it.

    No advice for you, but you might consider dropping SD 1 pretty quickly. If you are going to move forward with married SD, talking about marrying him and making babies etc, you should turn SD 1 into toast, and quickly. (ooops sorry I think that was just advice I gave….)

    By the way, is LadyIntim short for LadyIntimate or LadyIntimidator?

  124. LadyIntim says:

    Ok wow. I am sorry for hogging the blog, but my married SD just texted me saying that we are going to look at houses when he arrives tomorrow. The crazy thing is that he is 100% serious. He is asking if I would be willing to relocate to his country part-time so I can spend 6 months in AZ and 6 months at his other residence and travelling. Is the pope catholic???

  125. LadyIntim says:

    By the way poor G-Force. It looks like he elected to remove himself fromt he site …most likely as a result of a never-ending barrage of incoming e-mails from all the sexy ladies on SA. Gerald, you are too sexy for your profile but not for the blog. Please come back, we need you.

  126. LadyIntim says:

    Oh boy. I got lots of updates, everyone. BTW, JSB, I totally did enjoy that juicy story…I am a little bit of a pervert, but fortunately my mind doesn’t wonder too far. Ok, so I don’t know where to start. I guess it’s important to say that I am 100% set on leaving my main SD #1. And to answer someone’s question regarding talking to him about my feelings and frustrations, well…it’s like banging my head against the concrete. He denies, lies, and cheats. The other day he told me that his friends was “too stupid” to cheat on his wife because he would get caught. Umm…you already got caught, genius, I just don’t care to go through the trouble of wasting my breath at this point. I could care less if he has other women, I just want HONESTY. If he doesn’t give me honesty, my respect goes out the window and voila I am ready to bounce. I know he is going to be pissed because I will end it abruptly probably sometime in July. I have some serious plans brewing, guys, and it might seem a little crazy but ALAS, I am a fool in love. In love with my married SD#2 who lives in another country. When we started seeing each other he was only married 6 months to a woman who appeared to want children before they married, but told him the day after they got married that she changed her mind and doesn’t want to go through the trouble of gaining weight and sacraficing her life. So now, a year later he is filing for a divorce and looking to buy another home here in US…in my hometown. He is proposing marriage and offering to start a family and as crazy as it sounds I just might do it. He really is a magical man and he has carried me through a great deal of difficult situations and always did it in a kind, non-forceful way. To me his voice is the voice of cool, calm, and reason. So we spent about 3 hours talking on the phone today and he confessed that he fell in love and needs to see me right away. He is flying 8 hours tomorrow to see me for one day and he says he has a PLAN. To be completely honest I fell for him a long time ago and went on to pretend like I wasn’t all about him to keep a sense of normalcy. How do you tell someone you are in love with them when I have a lying son of a B sugar daddy and he is unhappily married to a woman who lured him in with false promises of a family. Well, as we are both getting ready to walk from our current relationships its quiet possible that very soon I’ll be Misses SugarDaddy and somehow that doesn’t scare me one bit. I would trust him with my life. I’ve always wanted to have a family..a stable home, and someone I love going to bed with. Although dating is fun, I now long for far more than that. I want a family. I think he is it.

  127. Sweet Jezebel says:

    Hi Storm~Actually, you are a 10, and #1 in my book 😉

    Hi adventureseeker~Your situation does sound like confusing stuff***offers hug***
    It appears you know what you need to do. The challenge is to get past the blockage to do it. Just know that we’re all here to support you as you take those first steps to do what must be done to take your power back and save yourself.

    Anyway, I didn’t get the sense that you were asking for advice and please accept what I am about to say in the supportive spirit it is being offered. I feel like we’re family here so, here goes…

    You mentioned that you are young so shame on your SD for taking advantage of you like that – he should know better. However, people repeat behaviours that are rewarded, so you share some responsibility for this too. I know you mentioned bills but do you both have an arrangement where he gives you an allowance whether he’s seeing you or on hiatus?

    Remember also, that we teach people how to treat us and this SD believes that he can use you as a place-holder in his life as he searches for “love” in real life (IRL) because…

    You probably need to step up your search for a real SD (pronto) so you can be unavailable to this current one. Chances are if this continues much longer, the situation could have quite a negative effect on your self-esteem. So much so that you may start doubting your ability to ever be in a mutually respectful relationship with a real SD. And this would keep you “trapped” in this realtionship until he finds Ms. Right and disappears for good without a word of warning to you (or your bills).
    You must agree this would be a very precarious (and inevitable) situation to find oneself in.

    You don’t deserve to be treated like this. The best way to get over a SD is to get busy with another – really. You can do this!

  128. babyblonde says:

    Does anyone know if updating your ad moves it around the search engine a little bit? I’d like to stir things up!

    I heard that it’s slow earlier in the week so that’s the best time to do it.

    The other thing I was wondering do you all get as confused with the sites mail system as I do? Most guys have no pic and all have a similar version of the same name or say similar stuff on the same day and I’m getting my guys confused! Made a few mistakes and finding it difficult to have to research each tom, bob and joe to see if I’m talking to the right guy and reread his profile! I send the good ones over to my email, but then I still sometimes forget their profile and

    What do you do? Any hints or advice? It’s so bad when I don’t know who I’m talking to half the time. Plus I will get so many responses all on the same day or same time! and then nothing…then an avalanche! LOL

  129. babyblonde says:

    I think the recession has a lot to do with things. I flake on bills more now, and I’m sure it’s the same way when the market fluxs or they feel like scaling back and don’t know how to say anything.

  130. adventureseeker says:

    ohhh the sugar daddys poofing…Ive had an on/off arrangement for about 8 months now. First time we met up for 3 months then I didn’t hear from him for a few months ( turned out he got a “real” girlfriend) Then he contacted me again we met up a few times a week for another month and It was always so great and so much fun and I felt like we had a real connection going on…then I stopped hearing from him again…and guess what a few months later we met up AGAIN ( trust me I ask myself WHY I keep going back when he does not have the decency to tell me when he doesn’t plan on seeing me for a while anymore…) He also tells me soo much stuff ( how much he adores me, how if i were older he’d be soo into me[as a real gf] a trip we should do) and he doesnt follow through on what he says it seems, it gives me false hope i guess and i dont get the point of saying it if you dont plan on doing it. Ive pretty much come to the conclusion he needs my company in between his “real” relationships, and i just dont get why I care about our arrangement (probably because i like to keep in touch with people in general).. i mean i reallly enjoy the time spent together, the help with bills is wonderful, but the whole stop contacting me whenever he gets into a real relationship shows he doesnt really care about me, i guess i just like to hope he does…confusing stuff!!! sorry to ramble…

  131. I was on fire tonight!! Hmmm….sugar meet at Uno’s..LOL 😀

  132. Best night at trivia so far!!! WhooHoo!!

    Okay, I came home with three beer mugs, 2 free appetizer coupons and an appetizer party for 12!! YAY!! 😀

  133. Michael AZ says:

    Gym, treadmill, iPhone, blog – I’m here…

  134. Midwest SB says:

    NY Sugar – HE was the flake, not you. You were trusting your instincts which is ALWAYS the right thing to do.

    I think you have to be mentally prepared to enter the sugar world for the first time. I’m a little envious of those who had an IRL sugar daddy take them in and show them this life early on. It would be so much easier that way. For the rest of us, summon up your courage, know that you have something to offer the right gentlemen….go forth and seek sugar!! You will make some mistakes, suffer a little rejection and deal with a few flakes…it’s worth it when you find the right SD.

    If you are flaking b/c you “need” a sugar daddy to help you out of a financial dilemma, ask yourself if you’re here for the right reasons. More often than not, you will find a solution to your immediate financial woes before you find an SD. If you are serious about being a sugar baby, and not just here for the immediate need, then don’t let the desparation show. The relief will happen in time, but do your best to offset the problems on your own. Our SDs love to help a lady who is trying to help herself.

  135. NY Sugar says:

    I totally flaked on a potential SD. I totally freaked out, was way too nervous to meet him being new to SA, and stood him up at the Four Seasons where we were supposed to meet.

    However, he was pushing that we meet for the first time, smile, go up in the elevator, and have adult fun. It was just too much pressure. I did not feel comfortable and thus, did not go.

  136. Michael – what are you up to? am I the only one out here right now?

    Oh so lonely out here tonight. Where’s my sugar fam????!!! Y’all better not be out on dates w/o me! LOOL

    Just teasing. 😉

  137. Awww JH…. it takes time. You will need to get through a few crappy dates before you find the shining one. I think that is the only way this is similar to traditional dating! Take your time… be picky. You don’t want to be in the wrong arrangement.

  138. JHxoxo says:

    I flake!! I flake because I am scared this isn’t what I want. I met 3 potentials, one I concidered the other two I didn’t.. That was like almost a year ago but now I am back on the site and looking.. But now that I am looking again I’m nervous I’m not going to like anyone out in SugarVille..

  139. ok… now on to the topic… Flakes. I think flakes happen for many reason, which is why you should use head & shoulders or delson blue….

    Ok seriously now (sry guys… my day ended up GREAT and I’m still basking in it). I’ve had a flake before and in my instance I believe he was insecure with himself. When rereading the emails there were signs of him being timid, but I didn’t catch them at first.

    I think it stems from insecurity… at least for those who aren’t scamming.

  140. Muse says:

    First? Seriously? Oi.