9 years ago
SeekingArrangement Featured in Daily Telegraph


According to a study featured in the Daily Telegraph, men who marry women between 15 and 17 years younger than them cut their chances of dying early by 20%. Click here to read the article.

Who knows, maybe there’s a few more benefits to add to the list of Sugarbowl perks?

When it comes to your sugar preference, what age difference are you most comforatable with?

Do you think SA lets people relax about age being a ‘big deal’ or ‘taboo’?

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99 Responses to “SeekingArrangement Featured in Daily Telegraph”

  1. Beach says:

    All my connections have been with women 40+. It isn’t that I don’t find younger women attractive, but have not been able to find the right match.

  2. Rene'e says:

    I’m curious about this site seeking arrangements. It seems that most of the women seeking arrangements are under 30 years of age. What would you say about a woman say 53 years old, (who doesn’t look it) 5’10, 153lbs., what would her chances of her finding a sugar daddy if she was to post her information on this site. She’s single, all children are grown. Would she be wasting her time, or would there be someone who may be interested. Basically what I’m asking is there an age limit, especially for women.

  3. DC- commenting to you on the next topic…

  4. Kaye says:

    I’d like to say on behalf of those of us who are young but have lived through a lot. I am 23 but look about 17. I’ve seen more of life than people twice my age, if not much older. Which may not seem like much but honestly dating people even close to my age usually won’t work out just because it’s rare to find those who have been through as much as I have. The only reason I’m bringing this up is you shouldn’t be so quick to judge those of us who are young. Some may be naive and quite frankly annoying, but there are those of us who are much more experienced and know the world a fair bit better. Though I’ll be the first to admit they are rare and few and far between.

    For those of you who read this thanks 😀

  5. nygirl says:

    thanks so much LadyIntim..i will rlly appreciated ur reply =)

  6. Michael AZ says:

    New blog topic everyone! See you on the other side…

  7. LadyIntim says:

    Ny girl, 32 years is a big age gap. i’m 31 years apart with one of my SDs. I had the same problem with my SD, the only difference was that he was doing everything your guy is doing but only behind my back and with like 3 other women at the same time. I say take advantage of your situation, make him put you through school, save, invest in yourself…but don’t invest your heart. Chances are that he is still supporting his other SB and the more you get annoyed, the closer they will get. So please take my advice and don’t pine over this guy. If you let him, he will hurt you and ruin your heart. I don’t mean to be dramatic at all, I’m just warning you because I’ve been through the same hoops. Enjoy yourself with him, have fun, take advantage of everything he has to offer, but DON’T THINK for one second you are his only one. This means that you have a full right to have other men in your life, too. Welcome to the blog, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you on here.

  8. DC says:

    NYC SB hi babe! =) I meant to say I will definitely let you know next time I’m in NYC. Right now we’re in Austin TX (random I know – but we’re looking to get a second home here).

    Chi, like NYC said, I am in the DC area and willing to help you on the sugar search. VA, ESB and I are planning to arrange another meet-up sometime soon!
    We can talk about the VA/DC region for SDs etc.

    Hi everyone else! *hugs*

  9. nygirl says:

    well…in my opinion i think age gap its kind of an issue..im 21 and my SD/ now boyfriend is 53. we switched the NSA relationship to a loving and caring relationship since we both were attracted to each other and werent looking for a NSA relationship. the issue? he had a SB before, and shes still in the picture! they were tofther for 3 yrs and i respected it, but it is really annoying, they have a schedule together, she has the keys of his house, he texts her and calls her when i am there, and i feel is going out of control. i have the feeling that he is still paying for her, since she has no job and lives in her own. i feel sometimes that he has passed through so many things that i havent, and even thought there is a sparkle of love, i think is going to die =(

  10. LadyIntim says:

    GOOODMORNING, EVERYONE! WOW! Michael, Stormcat, NYC, Shoogs, Texas I feel LOVED. Thank you all for chiming in and giving me your perspective. I don’t know everything but I do know that he is a good man and deserves the whole package (His wife didn’t want to give him the whole package, the day after they got married she stated she changed her mind about having kids). He is definitely worth waiting for, plus it’s not like I have to drop everything while I’m waiting. For now I’ll continue to date and when he is done and clear, I will have no problem cutting off the extra…

    NYC SB, I checked out your blog the other day and I was really impressed by your 12 k a week strategy. That’s pretty crazy. I swear, if I wasn’t so damn busy with my studies, I could make a career out of SA. I know it might some bad, but it’s the truth.

  11. TexasSugah says:

    Happy Rainy Saturday all…

    The age gap question… I have always been enamored with men at least 15 years my senior. The maturity and depth of the conversation is so much improved in comparison with others my age. Although now it’s not that much of an issue.

    As to the face front pics on sugardaddie.. I think they can pull it off because it’s more of dating site. There’s no expected allowance section and most men are seeking partners, life partners, rather than sugarbabes.

    Speaking of which, my mother just told me about a “black widow” from that site. She married and murdered two millionnaires and embezzled others. She was in her 50s.

    So…. I’m waiting around for my overseas guy to rest up and start our date. This very well may change my life.

    Lots of sugar to all!!


  12. LadyIntim – If he loves you, he loves you. Why not let him say it? You already know it and you love him back so just accept it. Sure, you two have challenges ahead but it seems you have made conscious commitments to one another already. Although I understand the “protect your emotions” mentality, I also know that if you squeeze yourself into a narrow box, you could very well prohibit something from growing organically and beautifully to its full ripeness. Yes, I am the one who told Lily at one point to “valet her heart”, (in a full-on arrangement situation) but based on what you have shared here, you and FutureHusbandSD are far beyond that. Expressing your feelings is an integral part of this journey if you both, in fact, see a future together.

    Those are my thoughts anyway, for what they are worth.

  13. NYC SB says:

    Stormy – isnt that the best? when you just enjoy yourselves without any pretension… its not what you do but who you are with 😀

    I owe you an email back… I promise to write back this weekend… still super jet lagged and on champagne buzz from paris

  14. NYC SB says:

    LadyI – what an awesome guy! He truly wants to help you and cares about you… maybe you can set him up to give a lesson to Lily’s pot… that PUNK! Im very happy for you… generous allowance + an amazing man + chemistry = happy SB

    Im off to enjoy today with my family… have a lovely weekend everyone!

  15. Michael AZ says:

    Morning all!! Stormcat, LI, Babyblonde, Sincere, Lily, Shoog, Cleo and everyone else! Another warm (93) day in paradise here.

    Stormcat – love those comments re perfection. Couldn’t agree more. And the comment on when to trust your heart and when to trust your mind? That is so going up on the wall in my office.

  16. Stormcat says:

    Good morning Sugarland

    m-AZ ~ We are both partial to Cote de Rhone, I pick by price range but she is a professional so I defer to her jusdgement. (hedging here bc I can’t remember the label) Yes it was a really nice wine.
    Thank You. Master, will I have dragon scars on my forearms, like yours, someday?

    LadyI ~ In research we have a rule of thumb, that, if all the data is perfect, something is wrong. Take it slow, don’t push, and guard your emotions.
    I think: If it’s something that your heart really wants, trust your mind and if it’s something that your mind really wants, trust your heart.

  17. Michael AZ says:

    Lady – it sounds like it is all buttoned up and packaged well. I agree – I think this will take longer than either of you expect.

    Have the fun, and enjoy the ride!

    Tired now, talk to you all tomorrow.

  18. LadyIntim says:

    Michael, he says he is waiting for the taxes to get done in July and then he is out. But I know that divorces take more than one day, so I estimate that he will be tied up for at least another couple months. One thing about me, Michael, is that I hope for the best but prepare for the worst. While he does deliver on everything else somehow I think that his whole thing will get dragged out far longer than he hopes. And it’s fine. While he is a great SD, I really don’t want him for his $. To me SA is a means to an end. That’s why it might seem like I go a little crazy with all these multiple SDs and all…but in all reality I don’t plan on making a career out of it. I’m just having as much fun as possible as well as saving until I’m all done with school and ready to venture out into the real world. Worst case scenario I’ll be making an above average income and be single. And no, he can’t say I love you anymore because it complicates things for now.

  19. Michael AZ says:

    LadyIntim – this is great! He is doing what he said would do, and what you ask him to do. Very rare. I really believe that circumstances reveal the person, and he is showing himself.

    No more “I love you”? This can still be said in an arrangement, no? Talk of marriage? Well, maybe that should wait until he is divorced, and his other life is done and over. Good that he is going to keep his mouth shut about his current other life – marriage etc; some things I guess you just don’t want to hear.

    Did he give you a timeline?

  20. Michael AZ says:

    Stormcat – I am so glad this worked for you!! You have made my week. Thank you.

    If you let it go, you will end up where you will end up.

    PS – did you make a good choice of wine?
    PPS – the best way to learn is to teach. The lesson here is that all of this is a very big lesson for me. I begin to hear the grasshopper (quick – who can spot the reference?)

  21. Stormcat says:

    MichaelAZ, OC ~ Well this was the best advice I’ve ever listened to. (Well there was a lot of past great advice that I didn’t listen to) My SB and I shared the most wonderful, relaxed, day ever. I couldn’t have ever planned any celebration better than to just let the natural flow of our spirits interact and embrace. The only thing planned today was the selection of the wine and that we would order Thai food delivered.
    For the first three hours we just sat, facing each other all tangled up, talking, kissing, laughing, sipping wine, singing, reminiscing about the past year. No discussion about relationship dared show its ugly head. You were so right, I just let it go and it went all by itself. Zen kama sutra – spontaneous love like the gods. (I know I know: I’m mixing Hindu and Budda but you get the drift)

  22. NaturalBeauty says:

    This is all new to me but I have dated 10 years younger and older and there are so many pros and cons. I would date a SD 20 years older as long as he is still full of life! Let me shave some years off of your life!

  23. babyblonde says:

    Thank you Ladyintim, makes sense to me!! and they charge women just to use the site. I like the guys here that I’ve met even if it didn’t work out or go anywhere.

  24. LadyIntim says:

    Babyblonde, that is so funny you mention the whole picture issue. That is the sole reason why Seeking Arrangement is the one and only site that I will use. I know this sounds like a commercial, but in all reality…all other websites are either full of BS and perverts or they expect you to completely expose yourself to the world..HEY EVERYONE!! IT’S ME!!…If the creators of those other sites did some research they would quickly find out that one of the main reasons people want to use a site like this is because they don’t want to be discovered by their significant others and “neighbors”. Business wise it’s down right unintelligent.

  25. babyblonde says:

    Ladyintim, glad to ehar you got it going on these days! I don’t know why the men lie to make themselves younger because it’s my impression that a lot of women will pass on a younger guy over the older. I have had one guy long time ago, on here, tell me he was much younger and wanted women to like him so he added 15 yrs. That made more sense to me here. I personally never think to look at the age. It just doesn’t occur to me. I know the men do here.

    I have dropped my age down now. Not just to be in the younger category but because I have my face up and worried about what the “neighbors” think! Anyone else with that problem? I don’t want to be found out. Even if this was Match I just don’t like it. My face is angled so I could potentially be anybody.

    Sugardaddie.com makes you put a full face shot if you want a pic up! That’s just not right on so many levels.

  26. LadyIntim says:

    Michael, here is his reaction…He said he totally understands us going back to an arrangement set-up and that he will show that he is sincere with his actions. He asked if he’s been fair in terms of an allowance in the past (hell ya) and if I’m ok if we will go off our old guidelines. That means no more I love yous and talk of marriage. He said I will no longer hear anymore about his other life until he comes to say that it’s done and over. He said I’m his sole fantasy and future…Is he perfect or is he perfect?

  27. SincereSD says:

    I should learn to triple check before posted from by blackberry. The last sentence should read:

    So my criteria would be an apparent age gap of 10-15 years but IRL difference of 20-25 years.

  28. SincereSD says:

    When it comes to your sugar preference, what age difference are you most comfortable with?

    Imho, age is just a number and while my preference is for a SB between the ages of 24-33, I have been in relationships outside the range from 21 up to 36.

    Aside from meeting my list of requisites, a pot SB has to be attractive and be compatible in terms of interest, etc. My comfort with a SB’s age difference really depends on 2 key variables: (1) her maturity level and (2) her apparent age based on her visual appearance.

    To expand, maturity levels are hard to determine based on one’s age. I have met 21yo women who are more mature than 37yo ones.

    Secondly in my search, I would be looking for a SB who would “appear” to be a IRL GF as to not draw undue attention to ourselves. That means the visible age is should appear smaller than it actually is. If I were to pick a 21yo SB, I would hope she appear to be in her mid -20’s. I had a 21yo SB early in my SD life and we were routinely stared at when we were together. It didn’t help that she dressed provocatively and wore the shortest skirts known to mankind.

    For the record, I’m in my late 40’s but am blessed with great genes; people estimate my age as late 30’s. So my criteria would be an apparent age gap of 15 years but IRL difference of 20-25 years.

  29. sara says:

    well anybody want serious Relationship should get back to me

  30. Rachel 386002 says:

    Good evening all… looks like I missed a ton! I’m sitting at home after a LONG day of work with NO plans on the horizon for the weekend… how did this happen? Not sure if it’s a blessing yet or a curse 😉

    on to the topic…

    Age gap… I’m in my early 30’s so for me, I find that I can relate to men of most ages. I can’t see myself getting into an arrangement with someone younger. That’s a personal choice of my own. I also find that I’ve never dated anyone within a 7 year difference as far as traditional dating was concerned because of the ego issues etc. When it comes to a SD… if we connect we connect.

    I feel it’s different when looking at a SD because we have the email correspondence, then the phone conversation so you pretty much have a good idea of the nuts and bolts of the person BEFORE you actually meet up. This takes things to a different level. Getting to know the person is what makes it good… when you find your common bond and realize you click… at that point I think the age is a moot point.

    Midwest… hit me up sometime my neighbor! sunset one nine one one at the g place

  31. oops, changed my name back to Cupid

  32. Muse, my love — you are not the only one!!!

  33. Muse says:

    I don’t post much anymore but I couldn’t resist this topic.

    Sugar dating is nice for older men who like younger women but it’s also great for us younger women who like older men. I’ve always dated men at least 5 years older (stating as a teenager) and my first semi-serious boyfriend was a man in his mid-thirties when I was 19. I only sugar and otherwise date men I genuinely like and am attracted to but I do enjoy the fact that sugar dating means my attraction to older men isn’t considered as weird. Maybe I’m not the only one who feels this way?

  34. Just got back from Bikram yoga… a shower is needed, as is some lunch!

    be back soon

  35. Michael AZ says:

    Yep I do have a SB right now, and when we are together it is awesome for both of us.

    She is going back to O Canada in mid-June for 3 months, and keeps giving mixed signals about what she wants during that time. She initially said lets keep it going over summer – travel to each other, etc – the next day she said lets not keep it going over summer. Really frustrating, but she is getting there I think. In the meantime, I always keep my eyes open – you never know who you are going to meet!

  36. I think SA softens the taboo, but does not eliminate it completely, particularly for some.

    Personally, at the age of 24, I have some limits but will ALWAYS wait to meet a person as I find age is only a small factor influencing the whole package. It would be tough for me to be physically intimate with someone over the age of 60, if they looked it. But I would wait to meet them before making any calls on how to proceed. I also would not want to be with someone younger than myself unless they were exceptionally mature and grounded, which can be hard (if not impossible) to find in males in their early 20s. I am sure as I get older, my feelings will shift as well.

  37. LadyIntim says:

    Michael, I can’t believe I missed you at Elements. I was there, fully equipped with my trusty night vision binoculars, spy gear and tools!!! True story. Sorry about your date, Michael. I am a little confused, are you looking for another Sb? I thought you already had one? And thank you for your support. Lily is the one who really made me think. It’s so easy to give everyone else advice and oftentimes remain oblivious to own issues at hand. I will definitely let you know about his reaction. No matter what happens though it feels good to wear my Reality Check hat and keep it real Alrighty style. M’kay? I know what I deserve and if I don’t get it I leave.

  38. Michael AZ says:

    Hey LI – good for you! Going out on a limb there with the future husband SD! I hope that he will react in the right way. Either way, he will show his colours. Good luck….. let us know what happens.

    btw my lunch at Elements yesterday with an IRL pot was really ordinary. Will definitely not be following up with her.

  39. LadyIntim says:

    By the way, Lily, you embedded some serious doubts in my head with your story about the non-contributing SD you fell for. You know, I replied to you saying that it might be a sneaky strategy to get you for free and ALL OF YOU. Well, I was laying in bed last night thinking I should probably take my own advice. I just emailed my future husband SD to get the allowance going because we are NOT in a traditional yet and it is NOT fair for him to still be married (even though unhappily) and have me pining over him with nothing to show for it. K? So, thank you, Lily, for enlightening me…I wonder how he is going to react. As I mentioned before he SAYS he would, but now WILL he? Drum roll please!

  40. LadyIntim says:

    Hey, babyblonde. Men do lie about their age a ton. My main SD#1 lied about his age by about 15 years. He looks damn good for his age and though I had a hunch he wasn’t as young as he said he was I never thought the difference was that great. It’s really a turn-off when men lie about their age. In all reality I could care less how old my SD is. He could be 80 years old and CONFIDENT, and I wouldn’t blink.

    So this goes out to all the Sugardaddies out there- Please, please, please, don’t feel like you need to lie about your age. As long as you are well-preserved and not pickled it’s all good. And if you are pickled, then we will know anyway, which defeats the purpose of lying. Confidence is sooooooooooo sexy.

  41. babyblonde says:

    Just for the record I’m in my early 40’s and have had lots of younger SD’s because they assume they are older than me. I have one for many years who I never even slept with and I assumed he was in his 30’s and he assumed I was much younger. I never realized he was probably only 23 when I was 37! It’s probably better that we never let age enter into it. He has been around the longest about 6 years.

    I am starting to age now so it’s obvious I’m not the baby anymore. :-( I’m new to the online thing, and here I would definitely look for older gentlemen because I am forced to reveal an age on the site. I tried putting 99 and they rejected it. Do you know how many men here lie about their age on the site and say they are much younger? A lot! Personally, it’s nobody’s business how old I am my pics are real, & it’s who I am and if age is important to a guy, which most times it’s not, they can ask. Just like I’m sure it’s important to some men if someone has real or fake breasts, but you do not need to go advertising it either, unless of course you want too.

  42. Michael AZ says:

    Lily? Or is Shoogar the one? Who is the quant?

    Regarding SincereSD’s post, can someone do a quant analysis on age differentials, average ages of SDs and SBs, perhaps broken down by state, height, ethnicity, education etc? I want pretty graphs please.

  43. Michael AZ says:

    Hey Caramelbabe – great comments! Love the story about the band conductor. Sugar dating is a whole new world, isn’t it.

    Never feel inferior though, just because of an age difference. The great thing about sugar dating is that it is a very equal environment – you are with each other because you want to be. There may be differences in experience, but that is ok. That age & experience difference does NOT mean inferior / superior.

    OC – engaged? Fantastic! An autumn wedding perhaps? On the beach? I am so there, and I promise I won’t cry.

    Welcome Deborah – there are some other Torontonians (sp?) here, I will let them introduce themselves.

    I am off to ride my bike up a stupidly high and steep hill. Ugh. But hey, at least it keeps my butt in good shape. Talk to you all later.

  44. SincereSD says:

    Do you think SA lets people relax about age being a ‘big deal’ or ‘taboo’?

    In general, I would say that’s probably a true statement about preferences on SA or it’s a statement about the ages of SB relative to SD.

    However, I noticed that many first time or younger SB are not comfortable with a big gap in age. Reading through profiles of 19-23 year SBs, one can see numerous profiles looking for SD with less than a 10-15 year difference … or stated with less etiquette … “I don’t date men the age of dad (granddad) …”.

    I haven’t done an analysis of SD ages but I’ll bet there aren’t a lot of SD’s under the age of 35.

  45. Deborah says:

    Hello everyone, new SB here from Toronto! So far I think I’ve found one (JSB) from my neck of the woods, are there more Torontonians?

    I prefer not such a large age gap. I am early 40’s and only look for older gentlemen between 45-60. I once dated a guy 20 yrs my senior and it was a disaster!!! A ‘generation’ gap is large. I won’t consider younger, I like the experience men have :)

    I’m really glad I found this site, there is a TON of advice here, and you guys (& gals) seem like a great bunch!

  46. Lily- Don’t sell yourself short unless your heart is prepare dot take full responsibility for your needs not being met. You seem to be the complete package and deserve the same in return.
    Overflowing with offers? Send some of that sweet sugar dust my way!

  47. CaramelBabe says:

    Regarding the age gap issue – I’m really glad I chanced upon sugardating. I have always preferred older men. When I was 11, I had a crush on my symphonic band conductor who was 29..! Perhaps what attracted me to him was how much power he had. Plus he was good looking, bossy, motivational, critical, yet affectionate at the same time. I could go on, haha.

    So from then onwards I had wanted to meet older men (who were not my teachers), but didn’t know how to. So I would say sugardating gave me a chance to get in on the ‘taboo’. 😉

    I have an SD now and it’s like I’m in a whole new world. I won’t say it’s as rosy as I would envision it to be, the relationship between me and him is still quite raw as we are adapting to each other but I get advice, mentoring and chided for the things I do wrong but never notice. It’s a revelation.

    However, there is an age range I adhere to…nobody over 45, or I will be too inferior in the arrangement, and I’m quite headstrong and stubborn to keep my thoughts to myself. 😛

  48. LadyIntim says:

    Oh and Lily! As you and I discussed, you should seriously drop this non-contributing SD. Right now he has his cake and eats it too..What? Not in this lifetime. You do know Louis will restock those shelves, so you will have to come back with an SD who pumps up that bankroll, girlfriend :)

  49. LadyIntim says:

    Texas-go right ahead, babe.
    OC-So you are engaged to your SD…but do you still meet other SDs on this site and if so, are you open about it with your fiance SD? Sorry, just trying to get my ducks in a row here. I’m thinking if I marry my future husband SD I will just call it a day with all this SA stuff and become a happy mommy and wife. But for now SA is seriously keeping me sane. If I didn’t date other SDs and was inlove with my married SD like I am now, I’d go absolutely nuts. Right now I feel like I’m not putting my life on hold, yet I have a great thing to look forward to.

  50. My sugar situation is flowing with offers and options, but the nonSD I met on SA, Eurosexy, has never offered since we connected in February, and I finally asked and he balked. He wants to fantasize about our future children but won’t help in any practical way. I’m over it. Too bad my heart needs more convincing. The stupid thing.

  51. Stormcat says:

    MichaelAZ ~ Thanks. Very Astute! I do have a habit of forgetting the fluidity of the envelope and tend to push so hard that it bulges and hits me from behind.
    ***Forming a resolve to live in the moment and enjoy the ride.***

  52. babyblonde says:

    Thanks Midwest for the info on spreadsheets and I think you answered an earlier question of mine about updating my profile to get better search responses. Thanks again!! I don’t know if I want to do spreadsheets, I have no clue how and that would only make it more complicated for me unless I had a step by step easy tutorial and then I’d probably screw that up too. LOL

    I found NYCSB blog and will check it out, looks very interesting!

    NYCSB do you have any other suggestions besides spreadsheets for keeping sane when a rush of mail comes in? Or do you just use the mail system here? I forward the good ones over to my Yahoo but I’ll tell you what I think may be the problem, aside from too many similar names Tom, Thomas Bob’s and Roberts etc, but that I get a lot of one liners and they seem to want me to say something and I get burnt out being fun cute and creative with 100’s of men who have no pic or have to send me a pic to Yahoo and then it gets all confusing and mucked up with those one liners that keep throwing the ball in my court. It’s makes me think sometimes I didn’t contact you you contacted me so say something enticing like “I want to have an arrangement with you and give you X amount of dollars” instead of playing all these games. Know what I mean?

  53. NYC and Midwest- Introductions would be great! I love making new friends, and anyone who might be able to open some sugar potential gets bonus points. You gals are so sweet.

    Lily- While I don’t know the full scope of whatever may be going on right now, hugs and good luck!

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      Miss Loves ask him to plan to meet you for lunch to talk and build a friendship . My gut tells me he is interested in just sex. However you have to listen to your own gut and please please do not put yourself in a situation where you would be in danger.

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      Michael very good advice for Storm.

      Storm I am easy to contact 😉

  54. Michael AZ says:

    RECALL – missed a key word. Corrected post below. Try again….
    Icarus (aka Stormcat) – relax, and let it flow. The best way to ruin a relationship – I have found through a long and painful history – is to push a relationship along. Pace yourself, and it will all develop in the fullness of time. Enjoy the moment, enjoy the process.

    You are presenting yourself with (what I think) is a false choice: “Should I vest everything in her (which is what I’m about to do?) -or- Should I keep looking (maybe even like in a non-sugar place) for my princess?”

    Let it flow, relax, enjoy the journey, and no matter what you do, you will end up where you will end up. Don’t dump true love on yourself or on her, and don’t start looking again. If it feels good, do it. Just don’t push it. Be detached from the outcome, you will get there anyway.

    Sorry to get so zen on you, but this is what I believe and has worked for me. Take several deep breaths, contemplate your toes, have a glass or two of great wine and call me in the morning.

  55. Michael AZ says:

    Icarus (aka Stormcat) – relax, and let it flow. The best way – I have found through a long and painful history – is to push a relationship along. Pace yourself, and it will all develop in the fullness of time. Enjoy the moment, enjoy the process.

    You are presenting yourself with (what I think) is a false choice: “Should I vest everything in her (which is what I’m about to do?) -or- Should I keep looking (maybe even like in a non-sugar place) for my princess?”

    Let it flow, relax, enjoy the journey, and no matter what you do, you will end up where you will end up. Don’t dump true love on yourself or on her, and don’t start looking again. If it feels good, do it. Just don’t push it. Be detached from the outcome, you will get there anyway.

    Sorry to get so zen on you, but this is what I believe and has worked for me. Take several deep breaths, contemplate your toes, have a glass or two of great wine and call me in the morning.

  56. Stormcat says:

    OC ~ I really wish I could talk to you, (or maybe better still your SD.) I have such a positive feeling about my SB that she and I have connected in a way like you two, but that we still have a long way to go to figure out how to deal with fears of the past; but even more importantly, the issues of independance that we are both feeling (actually her more than I.) I actually feel that unfortunately (maybe fortunate for me) my SB has been repeatedly disappointed in her past relationships which has led to an absolute resolve for independant life. But deep inside she still longs to believe in the romance of idealistic love. Well I believe in it too and that is what I want to give to her, but I am afraid of being “burned by the sun” yet again.
    Should I give up the hope for an IRL love? Should I vest everything in her (which is what I’m about to do?) -or- Should I keep looking (maybe even like in a non-sugar place) for my princess?
    It’s not that I think that because you have made the consumate enviable connection that you have suddenly become the guru of love, But perhalps having gone through it you may have made some observations that would be helpful.

  57. Midwest SB says:

    NYC – Any more messages from your new friend?

  58. Midwest SB says:

    NYC – Great suggestion for Chitown! I know I have a few e-mails if you would like me to make introductions!

  59. NYC SB says:

    Chi Chi – there is a great group of people in the VA area (near DC I think)… DC SB being one of them and she rocks… ESB being another and VA SB being the third… try reaching out to them… im sure they would be a great resource 😀

  60. NYC SB says:

    OC – you should start an SB foundation… help your fellow SBs in need so they dont make mistakes and sleep with just anyone who offers them money because they are so hard up for cash…

    Lils – we had a long discussion on your SD situation… hugs sugar sister… maybe we can do a fundraiser for you?

  61. Midwest- Once again, stellar advise. Thanks. Looking back that was the difference when I started my search.. I was fresh and more upbeat. Need to find that state of mind again.

  62. OC- I too feel like I missed something. Congrats! sounds like a fairy-tale ending.

  63. Stormcat says:

    Well I’m a little meloncholy tonight, so my comments will probably reflect the mood.
    MichaelAZ ~ I really liked your comments. And when parsed out they still hold water. But they are not complete as witnessed by the subsequant points made in response. All in all, though, good job getting the topic going with a good energy.

    I always say that compared to the age of the earth (or the universe or redwoods or even sea turtles) the difference between a 16 year old and a 75 year old person is INSIGNIFICANT.

    That said, however, At 56 I still find some comfort in the fact that my SB at the age of age of 35 is only two years younger than my youngest sister. Sort of like we are at opposite ends of the same generation.

    That further said: If I find myself back on the prowl for sugar I would have no objection to sugar dating a very young SB (say 19) as long as I could connect with her. It is just that I think that the chances of a real connection would be much more unlikely so I would probably be a little more cautious.

  64. TexasSugah says:

    Hey ya’ll

    Looks like I missed a whole blog..

    OC – Ok so I totally misssed something. I didn’t know that you are engaged! And you set a date!!! Congrats! That’s wonderful.

    Lady – I want to email you. Is it ok to use the one above??


    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      Hey Texas Sugah! Thx. He calls me the run a way bride in training. It is a huge step for me to set the date. But it feels right. Can’t run too far he has my heart! I have however kept my career, friends and slightly independent streak alive and active. How’s the sugar search going? Btw I am in DFW airport stuck for another 2 hrs. Thunderstorms are wicked here!

  65. I’m not, I’m cuddled in bed…. 😉 Emailing you LI…

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      Hi Sugars! Stuck at the airport in thunderstorms :(
      LadyIntim he sounds lovely. My sugar and I met on SA, we were both single so by our second date we knew we wanted a traditional relationship. He offered full financial help I declined but as time goes by he has shown me that it is okay to help the ones you love. We are now engaged and have a date set. I have a different mindset on his financial help. He thought of a way to find a comfort zone for me. He gives me a large amount each month to give to the charity of my choice. That feels good!
      Hold on to your dream, it will come true.

  66. cleo says:

    LadyIntim I agree with you there, he should always offer, you can always decline. like with a raise, i ask for raises for my employees, my boss asks for raises for me. that’s how i roll anyway.
    lily i am trying you on skype but you don’t seem to be there…

  67. LadyIntim says:

    Lily, the my future husband SD offers to give me $, I just decline it. IF I actually ASKED him to give it to me he would in a heartbeat…IF an SD tells you he won’t give you any money because he is in love with you, he might be playing you just so he can get you easily and cheaply. If You YOURSELF don’t want to take the money, that’s one thing. But if you ask for it and he bails- BYE BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!

  68. LadyIntim says:

    LILY! I can’t figure out how to message you. Send me an e-mail at posh girl bodyworks at yahoo

  69. LadyIntim says:

    Lily! I just fell inlove with my SD #2 and I absolutely can’t accept an allowance…But I have a main SD#1 who pays all my bills and then some..plus I have miscellenious SDs. Girl, I know its hard but its a tricky situation. I can’t accpet the money.

  70. LadyIntim, do I smell or something? No mail from you….

  71. How often do you SDs withold financial assistance because of how intense your feelings are, and it “would feel weird?”
    twice I’ve had men on this site find themselves falling in love and therefore feeling like any type of allowance or direct monetary assistance would be just awkward and un-fitting to the “traditional, perhaps happily-ever-after type of “feel” to the relationship….and go ahead and ask me how much I’m enjoying that reaction. :(
    yes, mr. millionaire, you may fantasize about making babies with me and it may even someday happen bur sheeesh, offer to rock my bank account a little, here & now, since you know I could really use it & it’s obvious that you can.

    And we’re talking about men who don’t offer even 3 months after they fell smitten with you, and when you then tactfully inquire about some $ aid, they balk.


  72. LadyIntim says:

    Hi, Everyone!
    As far as the age gap goes, I think everyone already knows that I absolutely LOVE older men. I have lost all interest in men anywhere near my age long ago and wouldn’t dream of associating myself romantically with anyone less that 20 years my senior. I even indicate in my profile that the older an SD is, the higher the chance I will respond. My main SD #1 is almost 32 years my senior and my future HUSBAND SD is 21 years older. And I still think that’s pushing it…21 years? Come on! :) That is childs play! LOL.

    Lexie, my date with a new pot. went really well. We met for lunch and he was super fun and easy going, but YOUNG. He already texted me saying how he thinks I am a very sexy girl and how he would love to get together again etc etc. I think I might just keep him around because he is a very successful business executive here in my area and I bet he could help me get hooked up when I decide to look for a job. I saw his office yesterday…they have a 12-story building with a dancefloor and a bar in the middle of the lobby. You can’t go wrong with that. I am hired. haha jk…but no really…I’m all about good contacts.

    Now, as far as my married SD that will most likely be the future father of my children, he has alraedy called and texted me saying that he can’t stand his current situation and how badly he would rather be here and how he is planning on selling one of his homes back home so he can buy one here in Arizona. By the way, I’m not sure who asked me this, but yes, we did look at houses while he was here…we mainly searched the web but did venture out to actually see a couple in person, but didn’t meet with any realtors. But I have finizlied my decision regarding my game plan and the game plan consists of me doing my thing until he is divorced and in the process of doing everything he wants to do. I only react when people’s ACTIONS match their words. I could sit here all day and say that I WANT to do something, but if I don’t do it or at least take actions towards accomplishing the task, I’m not really doing ANYTHING after all. So, hopefully everyone’s having a fantastic day and I will be checking in lata! Mwah

  73. brown-sugar babe says:

    Hello everyone…. I am new to the SA ‘world’ but would still like to share my opinion……

    “When it comes to your sugar preference, what age difference are you most comforatable with?”

    I have had experiences with both older & younger men – and in the past, I have always prefered older men – over 40 ( I have had that preference ever since I was about 18). And that was because of the very immature younger men I had dealt with. However, I wouldn’t turn down a SD that was my same age or younger – if the chemistry was there as well as enough in common. I would definitely give the opportunity for us to get to know one another.

  74. Midwest SB says:

    Jeff- Good luck with pot SD – that was fast!!!

    Someone asked how to keep track of all the sinilar profiles…
    NYC SB actually had a great bit about using a spreadsheet many posts back. Perhaps it’s on her blog or she ccould be kind enough to repost. Just make sure that if anyone stole your computer, they wouldn’t have access to real names, phone numbers, etc. That could be incredibly damaging for anyone.

    JSB- Drive…accept the nice offer another time.

    Michael – 1+1+omfg!!! Yes!!! Send some of that sugar dust my way please <3

  75. Midwest SB says:

    Michael – I LOVE your perspective on age!

    Chi-Chi – I think you are of amazing character and truly beautiful inside and out. You are the total package and a great SD will recognize this. Regroup and adjust your vibe…when you are confident and happy, you will attract people who are confident and happy. I know you are nervous, but it IS an adventure and you are the captain…Carpe Diem!

    Age – hmmmm…I’m going to speak from both sides of the fence:
    As a sb in her 40s (who can still rock a mini) – I find I attract less men than my younger counterparts. The nice thing is I don’t have to weed through endless suggestive e-mails and SD wannabes.

    I prefer to look at age in respect to generations…men in thier 50s/60s tend to treat women better than others and do make GREAT lovers. Some, NOT ALL, men younger still have tremendous egos, still need to learn more about intimacy, and are actually high maintenance in comparison. The 50/60 generation is also more about opening doors, treating women with respect, and a general sense of “taking care” of a lady. They tend to be more established in their careers and able to take time away from the office on ocassion.

    I realize these are gross generalizations and only based on my experience, so please don’t think this applies to any of our amazing SDs individually.

  76. Anna Molly says:

    Very true, very true..lol 😀

  77. AM- Yeah but with a program, there would be meetings. And with this group that could very easily feel like a party, and then you’d be hooked all over again!

  78. Anna Molly says:

    It is hard to get away from this place….I need professional help I think. Maybe a good 12 step program or something.

  79. Anna Molly says:

    Age has never been a deciding factor for me. I’ve never said to myself “I’m going to limit myself to those between the ages of ___ and ___”. I have always felt that if I did that then I could be missing out on something really and truly wonderful. As long as we get along, share a mutual attraction and interests, does it really matter what year they were born in? I think we can have meaningful experiences with people of every age and size.

    I do have my limits though, I could hang out with someone in their 80s or 90s, but I don’t think I could be physical with them. Maybe a kiss on the cheek or something, but that is as far as I would go. Yeah, I couldn’t do the Anna Nicole thing, I would be afraid I would give them a heart attack.

  80. Michael- Thank you. That is very kind. :)

  81. SDinLA says:


    Damn it, I should have copyrighted that phrase….

    Or started a seminar for SDs with that name…

    Or…. something…

    While I was the one who made that statement, there are exceptions. I’ve met 19-20 year olds who have been forced by circumstances (usually not pleasant) to live through more stuff than most people do in a lifetime.

  82. Michael AZ says:

    Chi-Chi – no offense taken. There are always exceptions to everything.

    I have always found greater joy and satisfaction in younger women than in women my age. I have often found greater wisdom and maturity in a 20 year old than I have in a 50 year old woman. I have met people who by 20 have seen and experienced more than any person ever should. It really depends on the person, their life experiences, and how they have processed and assimilated those experiences. My current SB is half my age, she has been through tough times, and those have helped her become the person she is.

    As with yo, the challenges you have faced through your life so far have made you the person you are today. What you have achieved in your life so far is amazing. If you have achieved this all so far, I am sure you will continue to have an extraordinary life. You have had the experiences, and have grown through them.

  83. Michael- While I am sure you have come across many examples that prove your theories on young women and “the sea of cluelessness” to be true, I hope you are also open to the idea that this is not true of all women under the age of 25. I have a good college degree, figured out what I wanted to do in life at the age of 15, have made a professional name for myself, and traveled across the US on tour, as well as to Canada, South America and Asia and helped raise my teenage brother after a very messy divorce that rocked my family. I am not yet 25.
    HOWEVER- I will say that by sheer time, and the fact that most SDs I’d be interested have had more of it to experience life, I am not discounting that they will have more stories to tell than I may. I am simply voicing the defense that not all of us are completely clueless either.

    Midwest- You’ve met me lady, back me up!

    I don’t intend offense to anyone, particularly you Michael. I guess I am just a tad feisty this morning.

  84. JSB says:

    Hahaha Sugarcube that’s a good way to get creative.

    I am in my mid 20’s and in my opinion I like guys who are atleast in there 40’s. They have more life experiences, can be a great mentor, they know what they want and hopefully are over playing games. I like a guy to take charge and I find older men are more secure and confident to do so.

    I don’t have an age limit just as long as we have similar interests, great coversations, physical attraction and a mutual respect I am willing to explore it further. I like being active so I need someone who likes a healthy active lifestyle as well.

  85. Jamie says:

    im 19 and have expeirenced (((birth, death, and some hard times))) no im not completely mature and im still learning. but everyone is different, im not flawless but i believe to think im pretty. my body isnt perfect but im comfortable with what i have. honestly age isnt anything but a number. i wouldnt mind having a relationship with an older man that would be a loving and caring relationship no intimacy. i believe that companionship is harmless at any age over 18. nothing more than just friends. and thats why i am here to meet a nice, fun, loving, and caring SD age doesnt really matter to me.

  86. Hello all.

    I had a good week with a mini-vacay to Florida sun. It was nice to be in temperatures above 55. Even nicer when it was practically free, thanks to family.

    Then I cam home, and as tends to happen after a vacation, reality hit.

    I am relocating to VA in 3 weeks and instead of growing more excited, I am feeling my stress levels elevate. Paying for moving truck and new lease and a cushion since I won’t get my first paycheck for 2-3weeks. Sigh. Not quite sure how I am going to pull this one off. And here I thought I left the days of surviving on Ramen in college. Don’t even get me started on the packing…. I hate moving.

    I must keep telling myself that I chose the career I love, not what was lucrative and I have always found a way to stay afloat, even if only barely. So even if I must eat Ramen, I am deeply fulfilled by being able to pursue my great passion in life. It would just be nice if I could pay the bills too!

    The search for VA SD or SD willing to deal with distance is still slow-going. I feel like I am doing something wrong! I was having better luck when I first started this search a few months ago… what happened? Any profile advice is welcome.

    Ok, that is enough ranting from me.

    Hello friends seasoned and new. Hope life is sweet wherever you may be today.

    Congrats to Lady and AM and NYC SB (sorry if I missed anyone), it sounds like some really great things are happening.

    Lisa- I am so sorry babe.

    Gerald- Good luck darling, and I am glad you are having a positive experience.

    Lily and Shooger- I’ve missed you!

    Midwest- You always have such helpful and insightful things to add, Thank you!

  87. Lexie says:

    Although I’ve never had a SD, I have dated a guy 6 years older than me. Although it doesnt sound like much of an age difference, I was in high school at the time, so there was alot he wanted to do, but I was so GREEN to alot of things. He taught me SOOOO much and I never forgot ANYTHING he taught me.
    Older guys— or MEN rather— have offered to be my SD, but I always turned them down,
    A: Because, I always thought I’d have to sell myself, and B: I’m scared of what my mom and granny would say.
    Men my Grandmother’s age approach me in search of a SB, but in all honesty, it creeped me out b/c I’d feel like I would be having an affair with my Grandpa! Im slowly learning, that most of them really just want a companion. Its not usually about sex with them. Sometimes it is, but for the most part its not.

    @MichaelAZ– Good points! I liked the “Fishing in a sea of youthful cluelessness” phrase! Lol. But not all people under 25 are under- experienced. It all depends of the person.

    I’m 22 years old. Going back to my first paragraph, My high school boyfriend was 22, and I was 16 when we met {yea, i know… WTF?} . Looking back, I would not have dated him now, due to the age differences. The things I liked to do back then, he had already done, and I also isolated myself from my peers.
    Now, at the age of 22, I would probably be more comfortable dating men 22-40ish.

  88. Sexii Scorpio says:

    Hello Everyone!

    Michael AZ- I totally agree with you on how SA totally reduces the age limits. Im 22 years old and I believe that 35 maybe even 40 is a great age for my SD.

    I think that beyond 40 thats 22 year difference and believe me I know Im no where close to the life experience of a 40 year old.

    Sexii Scorpio <3

  89. sugarcube says:

    I dunno about that study-correlation doesn’t equal causation. Men who marry much-younger women are probably more likely to be wealthy, which means they are more likely to have excellent healthcare, so I’m not surprised they tend to live longer.

    Then again, maybe my sugar search would go better if I advertised myself as “guaranteed to extend your life!”

  90. Michael AZ says:

    Great topic!

    When it comes to your sugar preference, what age difference are you most comfortable with? I am most comfortable with SBs 25 y.o. or older. Any younger and the age and experience gap is just waaaaay too much.

    One of the SDs here recently used the phrase “fishing in the sea of youthful cluelessness”. This is NOT a negative phrase, but just highlights the major gap in life experiences with someone who is in early 20’s to someone at my age. Having experienced death of a spouse, birth of a child, death of parents, travel to 30+ countries, money that has come and gone and come again – it is sometimes very hard to find a common ground or connection with someone who has not experienced any of those things yet. For me, the sugar world is all about emotional, intellectual, spiritual and physical connection, and that comes through sharing of experiences.

    I think of myself as many years younger than I am, my friends think I am younger and I act younger as well. I am definitely into women who are younger than I, just my preference. But not too young.

    Having said that, my SB is 26. But she has done a bunch of travel, has some interesting experiences and has a world view that I enjoy. She also has some pretty interesting life scars that she wears proudly. Plus she is really hot….

    Do you think SA lets people relax about age being a ‘big deal’ or ‘taboo’?
    My SB and I talked about this last night, she raised it and said that I was much more relaxed about the age difference now than I was a couple of weeks ago. I think that was more of a general comment, as we are both getting used to each other, and settling into our “not-a-relationship”.

    Sugar dating really reduces or eliminates the age issue vs IRL dating. It is an arrangement, and you go straight to your preferences. If you like the certain age, then go for it. My SB likes smart, funny, achieving, drop dead handsome older guys (that’s me!!), and I like tall, smart, funny, achieving gorgeous women. That’s her.

    We are pushing up against that 1+1=omfg.

  91. JSB says:

    How is everyone? The weather is not the greatest today.. Seems to be a lot of rain in the forcast.

  92. JSB says:

    Grrr I was so close!

  93. Michael AZ says:

    first? it’s a good day…