9 years ago
Weekend Sugar Dates


With so many Sugar Daddies and Babies falling into the workaholic category (whether they’re working at their job or working to find one), the weekends have a  particularly sweet place in Sugarland.

Are you spending any time with your sugar this weekend?

Do you have some sugar questions or news to share?

Leave a Reply

227 Responses to “Weekend Sugar Dates”

  1. Lisa says:

    Sugarbaby F, i’m the opposite and not available on weekends as I work in retail. That is why I prefer a married sd as the single ones want to meet on weekends. I would save you would have better luck with the single ones as the married ones are usually looking for someone to see days.

  2. Sugarbaby F says:

    Hi Lisa,
    Thanks so much for your feedback. It’s nice to know then it’s not just me! And I am especially limited on time because I’m available on the weekends only as I work 2nd shift m-f. Maybe I’ll just try the “carpet bomb” strategy? Thanks again and I hope everyone has better luck than I’ve had!

  3. Lisa says:

    Sugarbaby F this is the norm it seems. Many fakes pretending to be sds. You have to weed through the garbage to get to the the real thing. It can be very discouraging when you’ve got bills to pay and you are limited on time and all you get are game players. The are many poofers. And even in my experience after having an arrangment set up and the sd seeming very sincere and a man of action, I have had them poof on me for no reason.

  4. Sugarbaby F says:

    Ok I need some feedback on something please! I haven’t been on here very long at all but I’m already getting pissed. 3 SD’s have said, let me check my schedule, will txt you, etc for a weekend meet and have found out my interests, etc and then poofed! I didn’t and don’t expect an instand SD but this is getting ridiculous! or are they just being typical MEN!! I am looking to make some serious money to help me pay my bills and save my house, that’s the only reason I’m posted on this site so it’s very aggravating to get some leads and then nothing happens. Is this going on all the time w/all of us or is it just ME?! Thx for any and all advice!

  5. Deborah says:

    Good luck SoaringSparrow!
    Follow your gut, and have a friend as safety backup perhaps. Do you know other SBs in your area??

  6. So I know everyone has moved to the next topic but…if anyone is still reading this one: I have a pot coming in to town tomorrow for a meet.. I dont know why but I’m really anxious (slightly nervous about it) I think ESBs story really shook me up..he’s coming for a few DAYS and I almost don’t want him to…My conscience is telling me to be cautious as little tid bits of info he gave seem.. weird. Maybe Im just being paranoid but its a little late now.. we talk often and he seems nice…I think its just the realization that not EVERYONE is what they seem.

    I wish EVERYONE the best and SAFEST sugar experiences.. Ill let you know how it goes!

  7. Sb-emy says:

    OK, moving things on to the next thread.

  8. Sb-emy says:

    NYC SB: In my previous NSA relationship with a guy around my age I was burnt very badly, mainly because of confusion as to whether he liked me, or was just using me. I like to think my current SD’s behaviour would not lead me back to ye olde confusion of love because it’s clear there’s some reciprocal usage going on, haha.

    I feel for the sake of intimacy, SOMETHING has to be reciprocated – i only wish everything was communicated in earnest. Personally, I do not respond well to continual text message pronouncements of i’m thinking of you/my penis was thinking of you/flattery. Sometimes I don’t respond, because it’s like – you pay me an allowance dude, you have me for the weekend, so..what’s with the “i’ve been thinking about you” every second day as if I need reassuring?

    You do seem to make out that happens frequently? “consulting a divorce attorney” ie. Are there any other things I should look out for? haha.

  9. Deborah says:

    MidWest SB; I like the picture. It’s not revealing, yet has attitude :)

    I totally agree with your comment on the inflections on the phone. AND what if the guy sounds like Kermit, Gilbert Godfrey?

  10. Midwest says:

    SoaringSparrow – I never expect sugar on a first date. It’s certainly a bonus if he slips a little gift to you, but to expect it leaves the potential to be let down. In addition, some pots who may not have genuine intentions or who are inexperienced may interpret your acceptance of a gift in the wrong way. Better to treat the first meet as a chance to see if you “click” and to decide if you want to discuss the possibility of an arrangement further. It eases any pressure and allows you relax and enjoy the date!

    I’m not against talking on the phone, but I don’t think it has to be all the time. I get more from a phone call and hearing a person’s inflections when they speak. It’s also happened a few times where texts can be misinterpreted…Yikes!

  11. Blond: thanks for the advice I think Im going to stick to what I know and your right I think a text message is ALWAYS better than a phone call.. U can think about what you say before you say it and u dont have to deal with awkward silence.. The only people I TALK to on the phone are my parents and theyre now learning to text and skype. lol There ARE horro stories like anotherNYC’s. Technology is scary these days and you’d be surprised what people could find out about you if you let them!! So if things become to hectic Ill get a pre paid phone or something..
    Currently in talks with 4 pots so it def helps to be able to read your texts befre you send them. Hope somethin sticks soon kinda over lunch dates with nothing solidifying…

    If a pot comes to see you from out of town do you expect any sugar??

  12. anotherNYC says:

    nut jobs? babyblonde, you and I could have a long conversation and trade stories. :-)

    I’m on my third sugar relationship, but I’ve had a lot of ‘potential’ dates. My current SD and I meet up two or three times per month (he travels to NYC on business) and we usually spend 12 hours together, total, at each visit. 12 hours = dinner or show / back to hotel over the course of two nights. I do pretty well. I’m not LadyIntim. :-) But I do okay. No grad school loans for me. And I prefer that he’s from out of town and married. If you asked me, Who’s the perfect SD? One who is from out of town and married!

    Things get easier. The trick is to not waste your time trying to make a frog into a prince. Trust your instincts. The guy who creeps you out on Monday isn’t going to be less creepy on Tuesday. I learned that the hard way with the drunk stalker. He was nice on our first date and trying very hard to impress me. So I made excuses for certain things that bothered me. The comments about his wife and other SBs that had ‘done him wrong’, and so on. The endless drinking.

    Oddly, he was also very touchy about the difference in our ages, even though he specifically wanted an SB in her 20s. He told a store clerk that I was his daughter, out of the blue! He thought waiters were talking about us at restaurants. Looking back on it, I was an idiot for going out with him more than once.

    Live and learn, right? I hope things work out for you.

  13. Midwest SB says:

    New blog!

  14. Midwest SB says:

    Evening all!

    Confused/ Not so confused / Sweet tooth – Glad things are clearing up :-)
    I have challenges taking good pics, but I will say that I have received lots of compliments on my bathing suit pic and it reveals nothing but a fun smile. It’s as much about showing your personality as it is your assets.

    I will un-hide my profile and link it to my name so you can see what I mean. They say a pic is worth a thousand words :-)

    BronzedBeauty – There are plenty of ebony beauties who have found sds…hang in there! As Cleo quoted…”we all want something different”. Embrace what makes you appealing (color, features, etc) and sell it by putting it in your heading. Guys who love those attributes will respond quickly!

  15. babyblonde says:

    Soaring Sparrow my last post was meant for you, I lost a chunk of text somewhere after my first sentence. What I said was depending on what part of the country, people have different customs. In NY people find it rude to use a phone call when a text will do sometimes. I haven’t talked on the phone in ages to anyone. Sorry all my friends back home!!!

    I don’t think you are being overly cautious at all. Who’s got time to talk to so many guys anyways I get an avalanche of mail or none at all. I like my number and once some weirdo has it, which is not uncommon, it’s calls and texts at all hours and a bunch of trouble to undo. depending on how tough he is or how much you are willing to tolerate and/or threaten. Either way, It’s not that hard when I know a person to judge if they are responsible or not but i am older and so are the men I deal with..oh geez I am sounding old ain’t I!! LOL That’s just my two cents.

  16. babyblonde says:

    Nico : I guess it depends what part of the country you are from also.

    I think a 2nd phone line is the way to go if you must do phone like for out of town guys haven’t had that yet. But it hasn’t been a problem for anyone local…except of course the nut jobs I met on the other site I won’t mention…ahem. :-)

    In my humble opinion. It’s not just about the phone it tells me a lot about a guy how far he’s willing to go for this and respect for me and his understanding of women’s issues as well. :-) If he “gets” that my safety is important than he scores points and I’m more open to him. Gentlemen know this.

  17. Nico says:

    Yeah ~ I don’t like bad apples either 😉

  18. anotherNYC says:

    Nico, you’re absolutely right —- he was the exception, not the rule. I’ve never had trouble from anyone else, sugar or non-sugar.

    But he was so much trouble that the expression ‘the exception proves the rule’ comes to mind. (Am I using that idiom correctly?) Maybe I should say that ‘one bad apple spoils the bunch.’ :-)

    I didn’t mean to imply that every SD is an alcoholic would-be stalker!

    It’s a shame, but with sugar dating (and everything else in life), you need to hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

    I like your advice about getting a separate and cheap ‘sugar only’ number. One of those pay-as-you-go plans. Privacy is important and you never know how relationships will end.

  19. cleo,

    I think it is strictly up to you to define the expectations for traveling to meet a pot based on your needs/comfort level. I don’t think there is a formula that works across the board. During my quest, I have traveled four times to meet pots and this is how it worked each time:

    1. After deciding it was time to meet face to face, pot SDs asked if I preferred their assistant book my flight or would I prefer to book myself after they wire me funds. I always chose the latter.

    2. I searched for cost of airfare via expedia, cheaptickets, etc. Sent them the itinerary, which showed them the cost for the ticket. Each time, the pot wired an additional 1k-4k into my account ABOVE the cost of airfare. (They were ALL gentlemen and even told me I could use some of the additional funds to upgrade to First Class should I choose.)

    3. Each time, the pot then sent me a hotel confirmation (separate room in my name, paid for in full) as well as transportation instructions. Three used drivers and with one I took a cab.

    4. The additional funds sent to me were never labeled as ‘allowance’ or partial allowance. They were simply for my taking the time away from work, family, friends, etc. to travel TO THEM. Sex was NEVER expected and the funds were not expected to be returned. In fact, other than my thanking them profusely for their generosity, the wired funds were NEVER discussed during our time together. Fin.

    And that, my friend, is how it has worked for me traveling to meet with pot SDs. As you know, I have been very fortunate in my sugar endeavors.

    I think each person finds their own way through all of this. Comfort and safety are above and beyond the most important factors.


    PS – always loving your English lessons. Ha ha.

  20. JA-PRINCESS says:

    Bronzed beauty- Im also wondering the same thing. Ive only been on the site a few days, but ive only been contacted by black men..HMM..Had me thinking..
    Ive dated mostly black men in my life and nothing too great ever cam out of it, but im wondering if i’d be too presumptious to send messages to men of other races on SA.
    Some of them do state their preference, ie white, asian women,
    and after all, who likes rejection?

  21. Nico says:

    Oldie but goodie here ~ I’ve had the same number for years (many). I’ve been very fortunate to not have had any phone stalker type experiences and I’ve dated in both the sugar world and the ‘vanilla’ world too. I caution you about being too protective over your number. Eliminating a pot’s ability to reach you just lessens your chances of getting past e-mail.

    My suggestion, if you wanted to remain protective over your primary number…I believe phone companies such as Cricket and Metro offer very cheap unlimited plans (eliminating the excessive texts issue).

    AnotherNYC ~ I am sorry you had to deal with that and not to minimize your experience, I would venture to guess it’s more the exception than it is the rule.

  22. cleo says:

    okay i’ve seen three of you do it now and i just have to say this

    weary: tired, pooped, needing sleep/rest, feeling exhausted by challenges of life

    wary: cautious, slow to trust

  23. babyblonde says:

    Anothernyc: I agree, the only ones who object to me not calling first, cuss me out for it in the same breath…only goes to show you they should not have my number!

    It’s kind of like a little road test, if they respect my simple requests early on, better chance that they will respect me later.
    The ones who don’t object have all gone on to take me to the best meals in NYC.

  24. anotherNYC says:

    Sparrow, I’ve never posted before, but enjoy the blog when I get to it.

    About the phone—let me share a story from my experience. I’m one of those anti-cell people, but friends / family kept pushing me to get one. Okay, I did. Two weeks later, I met my first SD. I’m 27. He was 53 (said he was 46, but – whatever.) Anyway, we met four times total. I’d never been around an actual drunk before so it took me a while to realize that he was an alcoholic.

    He was also increasingly obnoxious and possessive. We were supposed to be NSA, of course, but he would send emails about how he would get divorced and relocate for the right woman and he texted me constantly. When I say ‘constantly’, I mean it. I have a 500 texts monthly limit on my cell plan and they were gone four days after our second meeting (which was when I gave him my number.)

    I decided I didn’t want to see him anymore. He didn’t know my address or real last name. So far so good. Right?

    I told him I didn’t want to see him. I was polite, but firm. He wouldn’t stop bugging me. So I stopped answering his emails and texts and calls. A few weeks pass. Late one night I get a text. ‘Who’s Randall?’ It’s from his number.

    I don’t know anyone named Randall. I’m perplexed. I don’t respond. A few minutes later, another text arrives. ‘I know all about you, Mrs. Weber. Does Randall know what his wife is up to?’

    What? Exactly. Turns out that Mr. Freaky had paid to get info about my cell phone number. There are sites that will (for a small fee) sell your name, age, address, and also list most of your relatives.

    But he bought old information. I’d only had the number for a month or two so he bought the info about the woman who owned the phone before me!

    Lesson learned. And the info has probably been updated by now. I had to threaten to call his wife and grown kids and tell them about our ‘affair’ before he would leave me alone. That was one of the most unpleasant and yucky experiences of my life. I don’t like threatening people. That’s probably the only time I’ve threatened someone. But it was necessary.

    The moral of the story for you is…. don’t give out your number unless you are completely comfortable and trust the guy. And make damn certain you have his number and plenty of info about him, too. Better yet, go buy ye olde tracphone. Then you’re anonymous.

    Also, I concur with LadyIntim’s advice from earlier when she said to stick with married guys. They’ll talk about leaving, but they won’t. And if things become problematic, they have more to lose than you.

    Good luck. Hope no one minds this newbie tossing in a very long comment.

  25. Hey all! I’ve been MIA lately met with 2 pots and another is flying in Thursday for a meet.. should be exciting!

    Sooo glad you’re OK ESB that is REALLLYY scary.

    Question speaking of security: How soon do you exchange phone numbers with a pot?? I have a really hard time exchanging phone numbers and usually don’t feel comfortable doing so until right BEFORE we meet (same day) or even AFTER we’ve met for the first time… With so many means of communication…webcam, IM, Skype, and Email…I don’t feel the need to talk on the phone bc I am weary of people abusing my phone…
    I’ve had the same phone number for AGES and almost came close changing it bc a guy wouldn’t leave me alone…
    Most guys are OK with it but am I being TOO cautious??

  26. cleo says:

    bb:to quote thelonegunman:

    “we all want different things”

    so i don’t think your level of er… bronzing matters too terribly much. well, unless you’re in one of those cities that’s only ‘into’ something in particular

  27. cleo says:

    so really, what we’re all saying is this

    all in advance:
    airplane / hotel prepaid and in own name
    incidentals to the tune of 2-500 dollars depending on circumstance
    lost wages

    optional partial allowance with optional refund if click is not… ?

    cause that seems pretty fair to me. sd’s?

  28. BronzedBeauty says:

    This maybe a little off subject but I need to know if SD’s on this site go for well bronzed beauties???? (Black women lol). Don’t want to offend anyone with this question…but if any SD’s can help this SB id appreciate it!

  29. sweettooth says:

    Hello all! I prevously posted earlier in this blog as “confused”…I am no longer confused thanks to Michaels advice and a lot of sifting through back posts and blogs like NYC SB, which by the way, is very addicting haha.

    Anyway, I am in the process of starting my profile and have a quick question in regards to my pictures. I have one picture of me wearing a bathing suit. I am sitting reading a book with my legs up blocking my stomach. Not all that revealing, but still a bathing suit…What are some of your thoughts on pictures with bathing suits or more revealing poses? Is that more likely to attract the fakes? Or does it really just depend on what the profile says as a whole? thanks xoxo!

  30. EnigmaticSB says:

    Hello all.. new to this blog and site but not new to the lifestyle and hope this plays out out it usually does IRL. A appreciate everyone sharing their experience as it has helped me know what to expect.

    AngelbabyNYC – Hope you have fun in Vegas, it a great place to get away! I have a question for you and would rather be discrete … Is there and email addy that I can send my ques?

  31. NYC SB says:

    LadyI – I dont think you were attacking me… i understand why you would be confused 😀

  32. Michael AZ says:

    NYC SB – 1+1=omfg still going (mostly) strong, thanks!!

    She is still a bit skittish, but we are getting there. Going to her ranch Monday for 1-2 days. Will be fun!

  33. LadyIntim says:

    NYC, thanks for not reacting to my previous post. I appreciate you explaining it. God, sometimes I just need a nice big cup of STFU, know what I’m saying? 😉

  34. JamaicanprincessSB says:

    hello evryone..newbie to this site,
    I hope I find what I’m looking for here, there’s seems to be another seekingarrangement party next month in NYC. Ill definately be in attendance. Hope to see some of you there

  35. NYC SB says:

    LadyI – the blog is my experiences a year ago… as i stated in the 1k to meet post this approach rarely works anymore due to the economic downturn and huge influx of SBs. So yes a year ago my first arrangement which came out of left field was high… i assumed it was the norm thus then 10k low ball reference. Now both you and I know that 10k is in no way shape and form a low ball… but at the time and in my distorted and very limited experience I assumed it was the norm… boy was I wrong!

    I now know that 10k and up allowances are so much harder to get and maintain. However, they are out there. I just assumed that it would be sooo easy to get a 20k allowance like i did with my first SD. While I have had another 20k SD in the future my two other SDs have been in the 5k range.

    hopefully that clears things up

  36. AngelbabeNYC says:

    So I didn’t get a chance to meet with my SD before I fly out to Vegas tomorrow morning with some of my girlfriends. He said he’d have a “surprise” for me when I come back. Granted, I’m still a bit upset with him on those bite marks. He’ll pay for that…literally and figuratively.

    Had a pot SD msg me last night. Said he’s willing to spoil me…by giving me an allowance and also to help pay off bills (he’s open for anything) Told him we could meet up to further discuss it and see if we click, after my trip. He’s a bit older and divorced, but he seems more generous than my younger SD, who seems a bit wet behind the ears at the moment. Hope this one isn’t a fluke.

    Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll find an SD while I walk the Vegas strip. Any guys/gals going to be in Vegas area this thurs/fri? Might go see a show and possibly clubbing the night after. Any recommendations on which clubs to hit up?

    Going to attend a dinner party later this evening and I’m flying out Weds morning, which means my ass needs to start packing now!!!

    Later, guys and gals 😉

  37. LadyIntim says:

    NYC, you said that 10k a month “low ball”, and you required 1k to meet potential SD’s for dinner. I am getting all sorts of mixed messages when I compare what you say on your blog with your comments here. No more blogging for me.

  38. LadyIntim says:

    Cleo, I think others misuderstood what I was trying to say regarding upfront allowance.

    NYC, I read a post on your blog about the 1k dinners and so your response to Cleo makes no sense (part where you say if he gives you part of the allowance he will surely expect sex..what about your paypal deal and having guys wire you 1k to go to dinner and offering to refund it if things don’t work out? Please read on. )I am totally not attacking, I just want to understand you and explain myself to Cleo. If I’m travelling to meet a new SD I will ask that all my travel expense money (I always make my own reservations), including a portion of the allowance is wired via paypal. That way, if for some reason he poofs, I am totally covered. If for some reason upon meeting we don’t connect at all, I am always more than happy to refund the partial allowance he sent me…which of course has happened but they never asked me to refund it. And if it does work out, I get a nice cash bonus on top.

  39. NYC SB says:

    JBS – aww thanks for the blogpliment 😀

    Chichi – hi girlie…

    Baby blonde – I am 25 and thank you! Writing is a passion of mine that I forgot for a long time. Im glad sugar world has given me a reason to reconnect with it again

    Michael AZ – how are things with 1+1=OMFG?

    Bronzed beauty – you will meet many people… the catch is meeting the right person for you… know what you want out of this and don’t settle for less. Do not be naïve because a lot of the men have been on the sites for a while… usually they will tell you everything you want to hear. Rule of thumb “if it sounds too good to be true it usually is”

    Sb- emy – sometimes I wonder the same… a lot of married SDs act like they are single and say things that single sds would… then when you reciprocate it is you who has crossed the NSA line… I learned that lesson… and now when someone married tells me he is consulting a divorce attorney I just laugh at him and suggest he goes to a marriage therapist first.

    Cleo – I agree with sugar shoes… I don’t want any part of my “allowance” but I do expect the funds for plane ticket, parking, hotel sent to me before hand and I make my own accomodations. Rule of thumb for me is cost of trip plus 200-300 dollars extra for incidentals. This way the “allowance” is not been paid and he should have no expectations. Once you ask for an “allowance” he thinks you are already in an arrangement and will surely expect sex.

    On that note Im off to run errands… cut work… umm i mean im sick so i better go back to bed!

  40. BronzedBeauty says:

    I got my 1st sugar mail….

  41. Anna Molly says:

    Hi BronzedBeauty! I will say this, I got a response from everyone I emailed who added me to their faves. Upgrading is up to you, but for me, it really helped with the search :)

    Good Luck!!

  42. BronzedBeauty says:

    OH wow okay lol.

    I havent really found anyone else interesting.

    Whats your approach?

  43. Deborah says:

    Hi Bronzed
    I’m in Toronto, Canada and I’ve been here a week lol

    Best of luck with the email!

  44. BronzedBeauty says:

    Anna Molly should I upgrade right away, or what to see what its like for me?

  45. Anna Molly says:

    I go through the people who add me to their faves list and send out emails to those gentlemen…..well, I used to anyway 😀

  46. BronzedBeauty says:

    OMG I did it…I sent an email!

  47. BronzedBeauty says:

    Thanks Deborah I think I’m going to send an email today and see how it goes. I’m freeling a bit frisky so I might send a couple!!!

    I know what you mean about the freak radar but that goes without saying. I think I might have to update my profile a little because I really didnt say much. I think I’ll sit back and watch how it goes.

    Where are you and how long you been a member????

  48. Michael AZ says:

    Hey SB-emy –
    I think that you are the first person from Oz on here, apart from me. I am from Melbourne originally, but started travelling and never quite stopped. Lived in London, Tokyo, Singapore, now the US, plus done the travels to Sth America, Asia, Africa etc etc. It’s been a real kick.

    I am sure juggling the SD, BF and uni makes life busy for you!

  49. cleo: I have usually always had the allowance discussion very early on via email. After that initial discussion, it really took the question out of the way on whether or not the person was in the same arena. The ‘travel’ meeting then afterward was always just a formality in the ‘getting to know you’ process. Although most (if not all) always wired funds ‘for my time’ (lost wages, airport parking, etc) it was never deemed as half of the allowance as an arrangement was never agreed upon prior to the meeting. I don’t think you can really call it an allowance until you both agree you are going into an arrangement. Just my two cents.

  50. Anna Molly says:

    Hi everyone! I’m in Albany today….yay me! UGH…sitting at a desk looking at numbers is no fun so I decided to take a break and catch up on things. Hope all of you are having a good Tuesday :)

  51. cleo says:

    morning y’all, welcome to the new and the returning alike.

    i don’t have anything to say really, y’all have given the advice i would have already, but i did want to say hello :)

    i finally have up pics i don’t hate, let you know how it goes.
    ladyintim: i wish i’d read your “never travel to meet a pot without half the agreed upon allowance up front” would likely have saved me some grief. that said, i think it might be okay if you travel to meet them and expenses/ lost wages are covered and allowance discussion arises if you decide to proceed… but i’m not sure. what do you think?

  52. JSB says:

    Hey Deborah – I found a lot of men at the beginning were offering pay per play, mind you I also had a pretty brief profile. Once I elaborated on what I was looking for and made it clear pay per play was not my thing I stopped getting those messages.

    Morning all!

  53. Sb-emy says:

    Hey Michael!

    I’m from Sydney. The lovely SD i’m seeing currently is an hour and a half away by flight, interstate. He’s married and still very muh bent on trying to impress me.. Not sure why he says the things he does!

    Ah well, I’m more focused on my current relationship with BF and UNI. Woe is me :p

  54. RedMaru says:

    Hey sugarfam! I see I missed out on alot and wow I missed some of my old friends Nico and Panther….grumble.
    Anything during the weekend no sugar but plenty of gaming and writing. Trying to get the second book I’m writing done. Got my ol’ Betsy(my bike fixed) well all it needed was air in the tires felt so good to ride again. Bike shop right across the street from my house run by a real nice couple both avid bike riders and hippies. And didnt charge me either. The lady said “When they start charging for breathing air then I will” Back in my college days I rode all over the place so I’m getting back into the habit and tone up these legs o mine.

  55. Deborah says:

    Welcome BronzedBeauty!
    Well from one newbie to another, go find yourself some sugar!
    Have a look at profiles. I have read that emailing the SD’s first should include a question, or comment on something you found interesting in their profile (hobbies, star sign etc.)

    I’m finding quite a few that want pay as you play in my neck of the woods. So far not impressed, but ever cheerful.

    Oh yeah, be patient too. Have some freak radar installed mentally, and you should be good.

    Have fun!

  56. BronzedBeauty says:

    Now that my profile has been approved what do I do next? How likely is it that I will meet someone???? I’m really ready to try something new & get away from the losers I’ve been dating for so long.

  57. babyblonde says:

    Oh thank you Michael! :-)

    It’s good company here, hope I can be a bonus to the community

  58. LadyIntim says:

    Michael, you are as sweet as a honey bee 😉

  59. Michael AZ says:

    BabyBlonde – I am so with you re NYC SB’s blog. She is extraordinarily articulate, it is amazing.

    We love having you here on the blog. It is a fairly transient community, but it has so many wonderful voices! And we love the addition of your voice to the community.

  60. babyblonde says:

    Oh just want to say I’m reading everybody’s comments and loving it. Thank you so much, it is really helpful to know their is great group of classy people here with the same ups and downs. It’s keeping my sanity. And NYC SB great blog, you are only how old??? Wow, I’m impressed you are so articulate and captivating. Love it!

  61. alas… it may be bedtime. I’m fading

  62. babyblonde says:

    Midwest: Thanks so much what a wonderful idea. I will give it a look.

    Lady: I’m agree with the chatting it’s probably all BS. Who has time? I have not had any problems just using my email on my iphone when I meet a pot SD. I had to call a guy once when I was running late, couldn’t figure out how to block my number…Duh! and he turned out to be the only one that was a real nuisance and I had to threaten with legal action if he didn’t stop asking me to reconsider. He wanted to see me 3-4 days a week for $1000 and then called me a whore because I broke it down to him that I couldn’t afford to take off work for him. The only guys I can see I might have to converse with are out of state if they are going to buy me a ticket…no?

    As far as the big bucks, thank you but it’s kind of common in vegas, at least pre recession…now I don’t know. Guys win and they have handed me $5k just for sitting with them and then they leave! No intention of ever seeing me again, I wonder what the girl who is sleeping with them gets? Lucky them if I had only done this then!

  63. and by bog I of course meant blog

  64. JSB- nothing wrong with having your own little party when you drive. I had caught up with her bog before the SA party, so I wasn’t to far behind. It was quite spicy!

  65. JSB says:

    To respond to the topic weekends work well because I work 9-5 mon -fri…that being said I have an insane amount of weddings and wedding related events this summer so weekday eveings work as well, especially for someone local to the Toronto area.

    For a first meet a week night would be fine but overall I would want to take advantage of the weekend and spend a fews days with that special someone…

  66. JSB says:

    Thnx Chi – ya I didn’t really give him any other option it was I drive or no go…to be honest I like driving because I blast music and sing along..I think if I had a driver he might find that a bit strange lol

    omg you are going to be up all night reading NYC’s blog…I pretty much read the entire thing yesterday lol

  67. Beach- I hope so too, fingers crossed

    JSB- glad he agreed to your driving concerns

    now I need to go catch up on NYC’s blog… quiet Monday night

  68. JSB says:

    Evening Everyone!!

    I have been heads down these past few weeks so haven’t had much time to post…

    ESB – so glad you are okay!!

    To all the bloggers, old, new, etc – I am really enjoying your posts and I think the blog keeps getting better…seems like a lot of exciting things are going on for some people….

    To update you.. I didn’t end up taking the driver offer from my pot sd, we actually rescheduled because I had a crazy week and might meet up in 2 weeks..if we do he agreed to let me drive, but said after we meet he will send a car for future get togethers…

    NYC SB – your blog is addictive!! Can’t wait to read more!

  69. Beach_Girl says:

    Chi~ you didn’t clear the blog, there isn’t a lot of people on … :(
    Jacuzzi !!! nice! i’m sure you will find someone to share it with!!!

  70. not nearly often enough Michael… but then if it was too much I might have to admit to addiction.

    anything good on TV? I’m catching up on “House”

  71. Michael AZ says:

    Sooooo ChiChi – ummmm, come here often?

  72. Michael AZ says:

    Hey I’m still here, lurking, feeding kids, watching tv.

  73. yikes! I cleared the blog! I will be sure not to mention hot tubs again…

  74. Good evening everyone!

    Just finished catching up.

    Midwest- Congrats! Email me details lady! I wanna hear all about your new found happiness!

    Lady- So glad things are still going smoothly for you.

    ESB- Hope you are still doing ok. Luckily you have a great protective support network. Of course, as you already know, we are all here for you too.

    DC/VA/ESB- and anyone else I may have missed… a DC/VA meet? Now THAT would give me something to look forward to in Virginia. Midwest has my email, or I can get it to you somehow.

    Hott- So sorry to hear of your check troubles. What a let down.

    Michael- Can you send some of your weather my way? I don’t think it got above 53 today!

    As for the topic re:weekends…
    I usually work on weekends, so my “weekend” is more Mon/Tues/Wed. It can be tough to make that work both socially and in the sugar world, but somehow I adapt.

    No real updates. Still sugarless and searching. I received photos from my landlord of my new home in VA. I have a jacuzzi tub! SO excited! Now just need to find someone to share it with 😉 Any takers?

  75. LadyIntim says:

    Babyblonde, I have done well for myself? Umm. Look at you! I don’t have a business (yet) and I’ve never had an SD drop that kind of cash on me unless I’m sleeping with him. And I totally agree about talking on the phone. Out of all the SDs I’ve actually met and kept around none of them asked to CHAT or to TALK unless it was a 2-minute conversation about when they landed or which part of the restaurant they are at. All the important negotiations have always been done via SA in form of a message. The ones that want you to call them and talk for hours are full of BS. Aint’ that kind of party over here.

  76. Midwest SB says:

    Babyblonde – You can get google voice to have an anonymous phone number. Then messages are forwarded to your phone or e-mail, but he doesn’t know your real number. Try google.com/voice. It takes a little time to get the number.

    In my experience, it’s a 50/50 shot someone will use a fake first and last name. If you finally agree to meet, then they offer up some real information. Then again, I’m not in Vegas and the game may be played differently.

  77. babyblonde says:

    CArpathian : You look great! Great smile nice features, the quality of the photo is a little iffy, and i would clean up the black streak across your eyes to a nice clean crisp block out. Neatness earns points.

    Hott :To my knowledge It’s illegal to write a bad check no matter what the circumstances are. I don’t think it’s anybody’s business why he wrote it to you, whatever verbal contract you had does not have to be disclosed. He made it a written contract when he wrote the check and his bank could hold him accountable for it. Someone here was saying something about the verbal conditions mattering, maybe he knows something I don’t know. But it’s my impression they won’t even ask why the check was written. He would have to provide proof of something gone awry to write a bad check. It’s not the same as stopping payment.

    Lady: You have done really well for yourself. Congratulations! I’m new to the online SD thing but I am from Vegas where it’s not uncommon to make a lot of money from guys and not sleep with them. I’ve seen them drop all kinds of cash just for hanging out while they gamble, and I don’t think it’s too much to ask for. What I said was I need to pay off some taxes and that could be in one trip or 5 trips. Which would actually work out to a lot less than $5k a day depends on the amount of days in a trip. I already have my own biz so if someone wants me to take off work, it better be a few grand a day or it’s just not worth it to me. Thanks for the advice though. I was supposed to call him today, he was okay with the money, he just said to call him…I googled the phone number and it doesn’t match his name, I wrote him and never heard back from him. Now he posts his career on his profile and the agency even. That guy is the MD from that agency. So he may be using a fake first and last name, but I find that a little weird since I didn’t ask for it. He apparently has a wife too. I wrote him and asked about it, think I scared him off. But if he’s married and protecting himself he’s not really thinking because he wanted me to call him at home! That’s crazy to me if you have a wife so I think somewhere in here he’s a fake on some level. Poof!

    What do you say when they want to talk on the phone? I don’t like that for several reasons. 1. it’s not a clear representation of either party and 2. My number is private. 3. I don’t have time to talk to all these guys I’d like to weed them out online. But I can understand their concern.

  78. Midwest SB says:

    Michael…tekkie question coming via mail!

  79. Hi Michael… 90 degrees… WOWZA! I would definitely be in the pool!

    Beach Girl… I just came back from… a break too. I’m glad to be back as I’m sure you are too.

  80. Beach_Girl says:

    Storm~ YES , you owe me an email!!!!

    Midwest~ I have not talked to A…. Congrats Kitten! xoxo

    Rachel~ I am not new… Just back from a …. hummm… lets just say a break!!!

    Hi everyone , sorry … can’t stay… Talk to you all soon!

  81. Michael AZ says:

    Hey Rachel – just being a cheer leader here…. have got 3 kids in the pool. 90 degrees here today.

    Storm – not a diplomat, but a high-end computer hardware and software person. Close….

    This week will be great – life is always interesting!!

  82. Hello everyone! There are a lot of names I haven’t seen before on here today! And for the record… where did last week go & how is it Monday again?

    All new new sugar out there… welcome… I’m confident you will find your footing soon and will enjoy what the sugar bowl has to offer.

    So, what is everyone up to tonight?

  83. Midwest SB says:

    Hi sugars!!!

    Blk_Barbie! Yay!!! Have a wonderful date! I’m soooo excited for you!

    Carpathian – LOVE the pic! You can be creative about discretion and crop it from the ear down to just below the breast…sexy, yet discreet! You have an amazing smile!

    Bronzed Beauty – We have gotten to know one another through various small get togethers…it’s a blast and really gives a name to a face. We still respect some anonymity, but if it seems like we are too familiar, that is why.

    HOTT – Definitely report him and chalk it up to a lesson learned. Most banks will no longer verify funds unless you show up. Go to his bank on Fridays and see if it will clear. What a joke!

    Dark Panther – Welcome back! I’ve been here since Oct 09! Many of your group had come back for a bit…Sam, Yaz, EuropeanBaby, etc. Hopefully you will touch base soon.

    Hi Nico!

    Beach!!!! Thanks kitten…kiss, kiss! How’s A?

    New2Sugar – Welcome! Only you can answer how to handle the emotional aspect of sugar dating. I only date in the sugar world and it is a delicate balance. Reasons for sugar dating can drive some of it…I don’t want to get married, but I want a great experience with an established man. A part of that experience means allowing yourself to get emotionally involved but knowing and accepting that it is likely to have it’s limits. There are a few who have gone from an arrangement to a relationship, but they really are the exception. Final answer: Anything is possible and it’s up to you on how to handle it.

  84. Stormcat says:

    Arizona ~ you’re such a cheer leader :) rah rah rah! I can’t help but deduce that you must have been a diplomat in a prior life!

  85. Michael AZ says:

    Wow! Great questions! Ok people, let’s go…

  86. Stormcat says:

    New2Sugar ~ Well, of course, read the archives for this blog. Everything you asked has ben discussed and more. All positive! But the main thing is that the wonderful thing about sugar dating is that you are in control. Whatever you are comfortable with is what you will get so long as that is what you seek and declare. NSA isn’t a requirement for an arrangement, it just happens to be the most popular scenario sought. Some arrangements only last a short time, others result in long term couples that end up married. And every thing inbetween. Just be clear, firm, and upfront in the original getting-to-know-you phase, then be open minded and in touch with your feelings through the subsequant times. Just go for what you want! You have nothing to loose except an unsatisfactory relationship.

  87. New2Sugar says:

    I am new to the Sugar World. Wondering how the SB’s emotional handle the whole SA thing? Do you end up ever really liking the guy and wanting more only to realize it is just NSA, and just about having a good time? Did you think about it much before jumping in? Have you ever wished you didn’t become a SB? How do you separate the I am having fun, this is NSA relationship with the fact that you are having sex with someone and they are giving you money at some point? I am just curious how you emotionally handle it? Do you have a boyfriend at the same time, does anyone else know? Do you tell future boyfriends about your sugar experiences? I guess it probably is the most challenging the first time around and then it gets easier?? Any personal experiences or thoughts would be welcomed.

    Thanks all.


  88. Michael AZ says:

    Hey SB-emy
    I am from Oz originally, but live in US now. Where are you?

  89. Sb-emy says:

    Are there any Oz sugar babies here?

    It’s raining here. Really can’t be bothered to wake up for class just yet.


  90. Lisa says:

    argh i’m having a mixed day. Apartment manager called me this morning asking if I would like some furniture that was in an apartment that someone just moved out of. I got a nice table and chairs and a glass entertainment shelf. That was the good part of the day. I went out for coffee and then came home to find my phone and internet dead. Called on my cell to make a repair call and they won’t be out till wednesday which is going to be a problem since i’ve got to work all day. So i’m stuck at starbucks using the free wifi.

  91. Stormcat says:

    LadyI ~ It is a good point. Somewhat related to the trust that develops in an established arrangement. I gave my SB plastic with a credit limit that is a little more than her monthly allowance. I pay it off every month and she has never exceeded the allowance. She has never even come close to the limit. It is not only convenient it has reinforced the trust that we share in each other.
    But I think that the post was about having accepted a check in a rather new arrangement, (as opposed to an established one.) An arrangement which has obviously not continued. Why would it continue? I mean that, you are right, in a business sense, in that, it seems rather naive to start off by accepting checks right away before you have established trust. But this is a personal relationship with someone with whom she was or was to become sexually intimate. I cannot see any way that a person, in that situation, would expect any form of support to be other than legitimate unless her partner was a fraud. So what you are saying is that all relationships are initially to be considered suspect until such time as that they have been proven otherwise. And . . . as far as sugar dating goes, I wholeheartedly agree!

  92. LadyIntim says:

    Hello, everyone. Looks like I might have a pot. in Vegas this week-sounds interesting. As far as checks go, if you only met someone a couple times and trust hasn’t been established, I make it very clear that my allowance is cash only. And if an SD feels compelled to give me his autograph, it better be on a Benjamin. Now my husband SD always writes me checks. But it took about 4 months into our relationship to establish that understanding.

  93. Stormcat says:

    OK ~ Panther ~ I totally understand! Especially, about the work thing. With the Economoic turmoil it is just inpossible to ignore that aspect of life. Sorry to hear that you were not connecting here. I guess I just got lucky with my SB. However it’s not like there haven’t been problems, or that everything went smoothly with no glitches, it’s just that by keeping the dialog going, and with a lot of encouragement/advice from everyone here on the blog, somehow we have managed to keep everything alive.
    Anywy last I heard, more than 6 mo ago, you were happily intercalating life with a fellow SB blogger. But perhaps you just went fishing on some of those wonderful MN lakes.

  94. Stormcat says:

    CC ~ No your photo doesn’t “suck” Quite the opposite! However, I doubt your profile is going to attract the expected genuine SD that you are hoping for. You seem superficial because you are not saying anything about yourself. Your message seems to be -I want to have fun- but I don’t want to show my face because the kind of fun I want to have is not something that I dare show in public.
    I think that a little more detail about you as a person in the description section of your profile will go a long way to change this perception. Everybody wants to have fun, Think -likes and dislikes-; think -things I like to do and things I don’t like to do-; Think -types of people that I like to be with . . . – etc.

  95. Nico says:

    NC!! Good to see you too!! BG…sorry no sugar :-( I’ve been gone from here because soooo much has been going on in my life. Removed my profile a long time ago too. Been in a sugar situation for a while….life is great!

  96. Bronzed Beauty says:

    I am relocating back to SATX and I want badly to meet “real” and “genuine” people.

  97. NC Gent says:

    OK — I am going to get in trouble for posting too much, but yes many of the bloggers know each other and have met in person. I have personally met 15 other bloggers — 13 female and 2 male.

  98. NC Gent says:

    and HOTT — if you email his profile number to: support at seekingarrangement dot com – they will put him on a fraud alert list and if someone else complains, they will likely ban him. I am sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately, there are scammers on both sides of the sugar bowl.

  99. Michael AZ says:

    Hey Lily – was that you?

  100. Bronzed Beauty says:

    So I’ve been browsing the blogs waiting for mine to be approved and I have to ask, do any of the members in these blogs know eachother personally?

  101. NC Gent says:

    Hey Nico — long time no see!

  102. Dark Panther says:

    Stormcat –

    Ohh i forgot to answer the last question… yes I think i am going back on the search.

  103. Dark Panther says:

    Storm –

    Everything is going pretty well on my side. Nothing Earth shattering has happened on my end other then work, work and more work. Single again? Wow that is a big dramatic change for someone. Glad to hear you found a great SB to keep a smile on your face .

    I have had hit and miss success with the site. The SB I was talking to before my “break” didn’t work out, couldn’t come to an agreement that would satisfy us both. I’m finally starting to find more participants in my general area. Not that I don’t like traveling to see someone, I do enjoy having some spontaneity without having to schedule in advance.

  104. Whew! Okay, everybody please tell me if my photo sucks.

  105. Blk_Barbie says:

    OH, and Midwest, PS: I guess after SD #1 noticed how gracefully cautious I was being about my phone number and such, he himself gracefully accepted/respected it and he offered to come down and get a hotel near me so that we may meet for dinner at whatever Restaurant I chose, so we can discuss some things.. Just like you said/typed! HE came to ME. And he seems to be careful to allow me to chose everything and do whatever makes me comfortable.

    I just thought I would share that. :-) I am very excited about our date tomorrow, because we seem to hit it off very well over the phone. I’ll post the results.


  106. Blk_Barbie says:

    Good afternoon, everyone, Welcome to the other Newbies and Welcome back everyone else!

    Midwest, I have to thank you again for giving me your experienced perspective. I’m already making the right moves and it seems that they in fact APPRECIATE my being cautious. It seems to make them more at ease. I have a date tomorrow with a new SD so I’ll keep ya posted. Heck, I don’t think I needed to buy the “Seeking Arrangment” book; I just needed to read some of these blogs and directly ask for advice!

    And Stormcat, good advice as well (regarding checks)! HOTT, perhaps you were hired to “clean his apartment/house” or “paid as an organizer” -for those who get paid to rearrange our homes and organize our lives? You could’ve done ANY of those things and he had the audacity to write you a bad check for your services? Clearly, that would NOT be a good thing for HIM. And clearly any ONE of those types of services would be easy to defend in the court of law (if it even went that far). Hopefully, this guy is married? I’m sure he wouldn’t want his wife to find out that he wrote you a bad check under ANY circumstance?

    Once when I was 19, I myself was naive enough to accept a check. And naturally, it was a bad check. So what I did was call his bank everyday to verify funds.. I told them that their patron wrote me a check and I was calling to verify funds before depositing and gave them the check number (for verification).. Fortunate for me, on DAY 5, his bank was able to verify that enough funds were in fact there.

    I couldn’t get his bank FAST enough, lol I swear I almost wrecked my car! But all was well 10 minutes later when his bank gave me the funds and I gave them a “farewell and goodbye”. They NEVER saw me again.. Or ANY bank for that matter, as that was the first and last time.


  107. Beach_Girl says:

    You got it girl…

  108. Beach_Girl says:

    see now I linked my profile, If you pass over my name you will see at the bottom how yours should be like!

  109. Beach_Girl says:

    Carp~ this is what it should be like.. change the dots to periods.. lol

    http : // 3ws dot seekingarrangement dot com / detail dot php ? id = 240890

  110. Beach_Girl says:

    Carp, when it says samedetail take out same

    Nice~ i’ve been good, no sugar for me. How about you, how is sugar life?

  111. Nico says:

    Storm and BG….familiar faces :-) Lisa too!! Hey guys!! How’s sugar life?

  112. Beach_Girl says:

    Nico~ Hey girl! nice to see you again…

    Ok for profiles: when you link your profile as is, only the same members can see ( SDs can only see SDs and SBs can only see SBs) If you want the to see a profile, just pass over the link and at the bottom it gives you the profile # at the end. If that is too complicated… you can link your profile so everyone can see
    Take out the “member” word and “same” word
    the profile link will look like this:
    seekingarrangement dot com slash detail got php ? id 395953

  113. Hey Stormcat! That’s weird! Well, I copied my link again, hope it works. If anyone wants to look at my photo and give me feedback I’d really appreciate it!

  114. Stormcat says:

    Wow, Nico too! This is like a blog reunion!
    Panther ~ Upstate NY now. Addirondack Style. Not Quite Minn climate but about the same timing season-wise. I’m doing well, sort of, trying to resettle as an independant single, but it is a little hard to adapt after so many years. But I have a fantastic SB who has been more than supportive during this transition.
    How are you doing?
    What happened with you and your last SB? Still going, or are you back in the search?

  115. AngelbabeNYC says:

    LadyIntim, thanks for the tip. I would like to think he’s legit SD, since he told me about his 3 prior SB’s and their wants/needs. I told him it would be along the same lines. On the other hand, he could be blowing smoke and giving me stories. Perhaps you’re right about me not being ‘aggressive’ enough and stating the obvious. We’re supposed to see each other prior to me going to Vegas on Weds. We only had 2 encounters this past wk, so basically this is still fresh…however if this isn’t going as planned, I’d have to rethink my strategy and look elsewhere.

    Sb-emy, thanks for sharing your story. Now I know what to sort of expect. Hope everything works out good btwn you and your SD :)

    Everyone else, have a good wk!

  116. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Dark Panther, it is very nice to meet you. I am super today, thank you for asking :)

    Hi Stormcat! Good to see you! 😀

    Hello to all the new and not so new bloggers! 😀

  117. Checks? Seriously?
    *jaw on floor*

    valuable lesson learned…

  118. Stormcat says:

    Hott ~ IMHO, That is a really tricky question! At least, from a legal perspective.
    There are two things at play. How would the courts interpret an arrangement regarding the valuation of the promises exchanged? -And- whether you are angry enough to suffer the humiliation that would result from pressing charges. As far as I know, it is criminally illegal, in every state, to write a check on insufficient funds. But if you file a complaint then you will be asked for the circumstances under which he wrote the check. The legal interpretation of an arrangement may not come out with the subtle meaning that we enlightened sugar addicts understand it to be. Consequently, such a check may be interpreted to be uncollectable. OK it is way more complicated than this but I think I don’t want to present a treatise on the contractual ramifications of arrangements. However, if, prior to filing, a scumbag SD fake like the one who is the subject of this situation (And who is giving all legitimate gentlemanly SDs a bad name) were to be presented with a tactfully worded complaint, he may see the writing on the wall and make good on the check. (It would be far more satisfying to me to have him arrested for writing bad checks, but that would be unlikely to result in a good outcome for you.)

  119. Bronzed Beauty says:

    Hello all its wonderful reading everyone’s posts regarding different experiences and opinions on the SA thing. I am new here and hoping to meet some wonderful people. I had my 1st SD experience at 19 and it was an experience to remember. I am here because I miss the thrill and excitement of secrecy.

  120. Nico says:

    Hello blog fam…Hello Dark Panther. It’s been close to a year since I was a regular fixture on here too and probably at least 5-6 months since I’ve posted anything.

  121. Dark Panther says:

    Hey Storm how u been? Doing great here now that it’s getting warm again.

    Anna- well hello to you. How are you today?

  122. Stormcat says:

    CC (aka Carpathian Cutie) ~ tried your link but your profile comes up as unavailable. Check it out. -or- What is your profile number?

  123. Stormcat says:

    Panther ~ Wow! I asked about you several subjects back and no one knew anything. Suddenly you vaporize! Must be communication via ether. Anyway, welcome back I’ve missed your wiley comments!

  124. Anna Molly says:

    Sorry to hear about that HOTT! You can try to connect with him and see if he will make things right. That is the only thing you can do at this point I’m afraid. :(

  125. Anna Molly says:

    Hi SD from Minnesota 😀

  126. Dark Panther says:

    Greetings all!

    It’s been almost 2 years since posting on the blog and I am happy to see the great conversations have continued. SD here from Minnesota

  127. Lisa says:

    Never accept checks

  128. HOTT says:


  129. Lisa says:

    worked all weekend, so glad it’s monday. I love mondays :)

  130. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Everyone! Hope y’all had a good weekend :)

  131. Lisa says:

    Good morning everyone
    Looks like another hot day in Houston.
    Doing laundry and then off to starbucks with mom later.

  132. Happy Monday morning everybody!!!
    Babyblonde and everyone- the new pic has been approved- so, if anyone could wander on over and give me an opinion, I’d appreciate it.

    Now, I’m off for a morning cup of coffee!

  133. Stormcat says:

    Good Morning Sugarland
    Holy Quack! I don’t log on for a weekend and whole place explodes! 😉 Seem to have lost my blog timing. :(
    Arizona (aka Michael AZ) ~ at least you’re gender balancing presence was felt! A voice of male reason penetrating the fog of female speculation about male reason.
    Beach_Girl ~ :) Good to see you back! :) yea! I owe you an e-mail.

    Weekend sugar? Well I find that weekends seem to be the least often utilized time for sugar. But I suppose that is related more to the individuals involved in the arrangement. For me, in the past, weekends seemed to be reserved for IRL stuff. But that was then, now that my mariatal status changed my SB and I get togather based solely on schedule considerations.
    Actually, I seem to see my SB less often now. I find myself holding back because, since I’m not used to so much independance, I sometimes feel emotionally needy and don’t want to present that kind of persona when I’m with her. But I’m doing OK, like, “I get by with a little help from my friends!”

  134. Sb-emy says:

    Hey angelbabe, ladyintim is right in this regard. For the two of you to have a mutually beneficial arrangement is for you to expect more than a cab ride home!
    As a sugar baby, you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable laying out your terms, especially financial plans for the future.

    I’ve just started an arrangement with a 39yo lawyer that does enjoy the jackhammering aspect to sex, and while I enjoy intimacy preceding this, the fact that I should be compensated for the soreness post coital is very real to me. Lower back pains aside, requests for financial support can be made by making a side comment like, Oh my previous arrangement afforded me this k allowance per month for a twice or once a week meeting.

    It may sound mechanical, but you’ll find this method saves you more time in separating flakes from the genuine SDs.

    My update: SD is currently over texting plans for my birthday dinner, and what I’ll be wearing afterwards (crotchless panties?) and where we’ll be staying!

    The last weekend we met was fairly last minute, but we had a solid chat which ended up my breaking curfew by half an hour, and leaving my leotard at his place. Hopefully his wife doesn’t find out!

  135. LadyIntim says:

    Ok, AngelBabe, in my modest opinion I think you should be a little more aggressive about your needs and expectations. A cab back home as part of your “pampering?” What? Come on now. Babe, you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable asking your SD for an allowance, just like he wouldn’t want to feel uncomfotable asking you for something right? Clearly with all the biting action he has no problem as is. From what you are describing the whole set-up sounds odd. Are you sure he is a legitimate SD? I don’t know all the details but I’m pretty sure you should keep exploring.

  136. AngelbabeNYC says:

    Although I’m not really new to SA, but I have been MIA for a bit though. Was working hard trying to finish my BFA bachelor’s in fine arts degree, and was out of the dating scene for a couple of months…So, now I’m officially back in the SD market :)

    Recently got a new job which killed my social life, since I have to work late nights from fri-sun. A potential SD contacted me, and he wanted to meet on Sat, but I wasn’t able to until Mon since I’m only free M-Th. We met at a bar/rest for drinks. I’d have to say it went well…he’s a young SD (37yo) single, has the nice subtle Kevin Spacey voice, and easy on the eyes (and boy do I love those baby blues) We’re both are into the arts, likes the same music, and have great convos. I couldn’t really find any flaws on him…granted, he’s my height (I’m 5’7) and aside from him telling me that he’s into a bit of ‘rough sex’ I guess there’s nothing wrong. Ok, so maybe not a lot of women are comfortable with spanking/biting (to each their own) I told him that I’d be ok with it just as long as I’m somehow compensated one way or another. He thought I was joking around, but I was halfway serious…lol. The last thing I need is bite marks on my arm if I was to have another potential SD date and he’s like “what happened??”

    Anyway, he was honest and to the point in terms of what he’s looking for. He did ask what I was looking for. Ofc, my prior SD’s didn’t go long term. Usually I go on random SD dates where I’m wined and dined, provide good convo, and then get compensated by a gift and cab ride home. None ever turned out to be anything more, since clearly I was just testing the waters. So I told him I didn’t know what to expect really…but if I did need help with bills and perhaps needed some spending money for my ‘shopping habits’ I’d let him know. He seemed ok with that. So, we’ll see how this goes.

    Originally, I was going to go straight home after drinks…I knew when he said he wanted to show me some paintings he purchased at some auctions was an ‘excuse’ for me to go back to his place. I was already buzzed with 2 drinks…lol. Needless to say the sex was great, and he paid for my cab service home plus extra money to get myself a mani/pedi. I had leftover to spend for the next couple of days. He ended up leaving some bite marks…and I made him feel guilty, so he promised to take me to see a live jazz concert and a broadway show next week :)

    I’m sure some women do ask for a weekly/bi-weekly allowance. What do you think is a fair price to ask for? We usually try to see each other maybe 2x a wk. I didn’t think of mentioning it in the beginning (I’m such a newb) but I don’t think it’s wrong to casually bring it up in a conversation afterwards right? I am going to Vegas next week with some friends for 3 days, and it shouldn’t be a problem if I asked for some spending money prior to me going right?

  137. LadyIntim says:

    By the way, how is everyone doing this mighty fine evening? I’ve been so busy with school that I totally abandoned the blog! It looks like this upcoming week is going to be a week of solitude as my SD#1 is on the East Coast and my SH (Sugar Hubby) is in London. I wonder if I can make it without getting into some sort of shenanigans?

  138. LadyIntim says:

    Here Kitty Kitty! haha

  139. LadyIntim says:

    Damn, Babyblonde, If you can rake in 5k a day more power to you! I don’t mean to discourage you at all, but I consider myself pretty good at this SD/SB stuff and I’ve never gotten 5k a day from anyone I just met. By now I’ve had my two main SDs buy me 50k diamond rings, cars, plastic enhancements, and more, but I know that if I started throwing out those figures at them in the beginning I wouldn’t be where I am today. I think easy does it.

  140. babyblonde says:

    Hi all!

    Anyone had any luck traveling to meet a guy and getting paid well? How did you do it? I have a guy who is in CT and I asked how could we do this. He said we can travel! and then asked me what are my needs. He sounds straight up and nice. I told him I needed to pay off some bills in the neighborhood of $25k and would like play money. I said I don’t want to sound greedy and I don’t want to sound cheap and I didn’t know if that would be one trip or 5 trips.

    He makes a million a year. I think he can afford a lot and I think I should ask for $5k a day at least since I am a former “celeb” This isn’t something I can send my agent in for. I’m used to more than that just for dinner but sometimes these “arrangement” guys don’t like greedy right away that’s fine with me, I want to be fair but it’s not good to undersell yourself either. What do you think? Any advice? how do I set up a travel arrangement if you never met the guy here? I’ve only done this with people I knew very well. Thank you in advance!!

  141. babyblonde says:

    carpathian: No you didn’t kill the blog! That would really have to be one hell of a post. LOL …says no photo, not pending hope that means pending. Yeah don’t like having my pic up but what are the alternatives? but I don’t like that added effort of sending a pic and not hearing back and then the paranoia sets in… why was it someone I know? from the gym? OMG! Right now I just did that to a guy who sent me a pic and he’s not my type. He’s good looking just not my type. I should say something, huh?

  142. Michael AZ says:

    Hi Midwest – I’m right behind you too …

  143. Beach_Girl says:

    Midwest~ Hi kitten, So happy for you!!! 😀

    NYC SB~ happy for you too , girl! 😀

    Hi to all the newbies…

  144. Blk_Barbie says:

    Right on, Midwest! Whoa, chatting with you last week would’ve saved me a lot of time! Have a lovely evening; I’m tired too, so I’m right behind ya!

  145. NYC SB says:

    Michael – yes… most of my friends are guys… we all went out this weekend and had a blast 😀

    Midwest – yay on the SD… I loved the bbms of your weekend of fun… get some rest

  146. Midwest says:

    Blk_Barbie – truthfully, I’ve never had to ask. They have offered to come out and see me. These successful men travel to major cities often, so if you’re in a major city, it’s likely you won’t have to wait long. I live 1.5 hours outside of Chicago in what could be considered a “non-desirable” geographic location. The ones who flew in actually came to my city which speaks volumes to their character. If they don’t offer, you can ask if they will be in the area soon. If you feel compelled to go to meet them, compromise by staying within driving or a reasonable paid driver distance. Go to a very public restaurant (I prefer without hotels) and let him know up front this is a “get to know you dinner” and there are no expectations. You can even let the maitre d or bartender know you are meeting with someone new and ask if he can visit or notice a sign where you need help. Most men love to help a lady :-) Don’t get in a car or meet him at his room until you have had at least one date. It immediately sends the wrong message.

    If he balks at your suggestions of coming to see you or compromising, either a) he’s not that into you or b) he’s not a gentleman. Either way, it’s not worth your time.

    Mind you, in 6 months, I’ve only had four SA dates. One was my SD, one offered to be a travel daddy, and another is my new SD. One may have been a missed opportunity, but we will remain friends. I screen relentlessly and try to be patient. I don’t do volume, but the quality has been amazing! This approach works for me, but I know others who “carpet bomb” and then funnel down their prospects. Test what works for you.

    Welcome Jenna! You have to trust your instincts when sending pics. If you have pics on your profile, you can make a fun comment like “Hope you enjoy the pics…they were taken last month!” and it will stop some of the requests from men who have been burned by women with old pics. If you’re worried about discretion, put up a flattering pic that shows some lovely part of your body (legs, neck, etc) without being suggestive. When you have exchanged a few e-mails and you feel he is genuine, then you can send the full version of said picture. There is never a need for you to send nude or partially nude photos. True gentlemen enjoy the mystery and will be glad to have a private viewing. If you have sent two pics and the person is requesting more, he could be a picture collector and a waste of time. Ask him to give you some identity if you are suspicious. He will disappear quickly if he’s a fake.

    Off to bed sugars! Sweet dreams!

  147. Michael AZ says:

    NYC SB –
    “sometimes all a girl needs is a boys night out” – laughing my arse off!! Glad you had a great time!!! Sounds like something LadyIntim would say….

  148. Jenna615 says:

    New to this, and want to know when is it too soon or what circumstances/arrangements for sending pics?

  149. NYC SB says:

    Hi everyone!

    ESB – sorry dear for whats happening… it seems like you cannot catch a break! positive energy sent your way

    DC – Hi chica … im glad things are still going strong with SD

    I had a lovely weekend… sometimes all a girl needs is a boys night out 😀

  150. Blk_Barbie says:

    Midwest SB and Michael AZ, thank you for the really good tips..

    So Midwest SB, should I make it my duty to request my potential SD to fly out to see me first; no exceptions? And is he not a gentleman if he wants me to visit him first?

  151. Confused:-( says:

    Michael AZ- Thank you so very much for your thoughts and suggestions. I am very excited at the thought of starting this new chapter in my life. Like I said earlier, I have been lurking around on the blog for quite sometime now and love everyones thoughts especially Lady Intim, Lily, and midwest…they are my eyes into this world that is unfamiliar to me. I will take your advice and look back into past blogs. I hope it is not long before I start actively pursuing this type of lifestyle. As of right now, it is just a matter of time for me to sort out things with my current and soon to be ex BF and fully prepare for the next steps that follow.

    ESB- I really admire your courage and the story you shared with all of us! An SD/SB arrangement is what I am most interested in at this time and being “fed” as much information as possible to help prepare myself for this exciting journey is just what I need

    Midwest- you are so insightful and filled with so many great ideas and thoughts to keep in mind for when I am actually ready to find my perfect SD! PLEASE keep the information flowing haha

    Lady Intim- Purely amazing! Need I say more:-) I am so excited for you and what your future brings! You seem like a very strong confident woman, I admire that greatly.

  152. Midwest SB says:

    Thanks Michael..check your inbox!

  153. Midwest SB says:

    Michael – I see, but I can’t access it! I updated and hid my profile so it’s pending. Do you have my regular mail?

  154. Michael AZ says:

    Midwest – you got mail.

  155. Lisa says:

    The guy is also 30 years old

  156. Lisa says:

    I just got a videochat request on the other site. I declined as I don’t do video chat and don’t use a webcam. I mean gee, I just got home from work, logged on in minutes someone is wanting to videochat. I’m tired, hungry, in my robe, not interested in video chats. I read his profile and he’s looking for a long term serious relationship.

  157. Midwest SB says:

    Ken- Welcome! Are you a male sugar baby? There are a few who have posted on the blog in the past. Peruse the archives and look around. It will at least provide some guidelines so you can ask more specific questions.

    La Shaye – I agree about reiterating what you said in the comment. Please keep in mind to ask yourself what you can do for your SD and have some goals. The rest will fall into place.

  158. Shelle says:

    La’Shaye, I think you should say exactly what you wrote, be real and honest. Once guys start looking at your profile, they’ll know what you want and what your about.

  159. ken says:

    im new to this site or the whole SB concept. does anyone have any advice for me when it comes to dealing with or meeting the SD. anything will help…Thanx :)

  160. La'Shaye says:


  161. La'Shaye says:

    Hi everyone, I’m very new to this site (only 3 days old teehee) and I need some advice. When it comes to the “Arrangement” part what exactly should I say I want??

    I would love to meet someone funny and charming…someone who I could have a great time with. I’m a beautiful woman and I have had A LOT of responses to my profile but I just dont know how to go about thing.

    Any help here is GREATLY appreciated. btw..im 20 :)

  162. Midwest says:

    Hello sugar friends!

    Ahhhmmmaaaazzzziiinnnnggggg sugar weekend in Las Vegas! I’m still trying to catch up on sleep. I highly recommend Zumanity…best foreplay you can do in public!

    ESB – I’m so sorry!!! I will be your official screener if you ever want a second opinion. First foremost, trust your instincts and if red flags come up…LISTEN! (((Hugs))) I’m glad you’re ok!

    Welcome all our new friends! You have already gotten great advice about travelling, safety, etiquette, etc.

    It seems like the resounding theme for today is how to make great choices about who you are meeting. Married or single, I have found gents 50 and older to be wonderful company. If that is too big of an age gap, certainly go the the oldest end of your range as they seem to be more respectful. It has been said (and I have experienced this too) that men who have grown daughters will treat you well…sooooo true. Other than that, I cannot say enough…if you feel the SLIGHTEST hint at inappropriate behavior, sexual comments that suggest arrogance or that he’s treating SA like his playground, or anything that suggests he is not a gentleman, then IT’S TRUE!!! There are some genuine SDs on this site, but I will say you have to screen hard – no tolerance! It will take a long time to meet someone, but if you’re successful at screening you will have experiences like LadyI and I have.

    Gentlemen SDs will:
    1- Travel to you on a first date (I have had men come from NYC and AZ just for a date and it’s not unsual).
    2- Provide transportation or compensate you for travel expenses
    3- Provide information that helps you identify who they are.
    4- EXPECT you to take safety precautions
    5- If you are travelling to them for the first time, they will set up separate accomodations that are non-cancellable and verifiable.
    6- Call to confirm a date
    7- Understand you have a family and life and will not be upset if you decline or ask for some advance notice to go out.
    8- Will NOT be offended when arrangement/Allowance discussions come up.

    You shouldn’t settle for anything less. If he seems nice, but is learning the ropes…send him here! Worked beautifully for my first SD and I!!

  163. Michael AZ says:

    Confused – welcome! There are some great people with fantastic insights on the blog who may be able to offer you some feedback.

    I think you have answered your own question re continuing the relationship with the current BF. You obviously want out, and I think that your question is “what next?” If you want to get into an arrangement with an older guy, this is the place to be. It is the best site to get an arrangement in place. Match.com is a pretty ordinary place – I tried there for a while, and it was not for me.

    If you want to spend time with older guys, set up an arrangement, I suggest you spend a bunch of time reading the back-blogs, and blogs from some of the SBs here – Shoogar, NYC SB, Lily – they are full of great advice and comments. Good luck! You will do great.

  164. Alleemack says:

    No suger here at all this weekend…. tryed but no luck….. :{

  165. Confused:-( says:

    I realized I made some spelling and grammar errors. I am sorry, next time I will check before I send. I was just on a roll, it felt so good to vent! Ahh, and to think I am in school to be a teacher haha!

  166. I worship shoes, so I’ll visit my closet and say howdy to them.

  167. Michael AZ says:

    Cutie – you haven’t killed the blog. We’re just all at church this morning.

  168. Confused:-( says:

    Hey Everyone! I have never posted on the blog but have been reading it for over a month now…I have a bit of a situation in regards to my current relationship and I would love some insight and thought from an outsiders point of view. Anything would be wonderful!

    my current relationship is with a boyfriend I have been with for just under 7 years. We met when I was a junior in high school. We are both 25. Last year from December till June we broke up because I was ready to move forward with my life in regards to, my career, a home, possibly an engagement and eventually a marriage. It was something I was interested in having with him since year three of our relationship. He was always telling me he wanted the same things ..however..month after month, year after year, it just never happened. So I broke up with him for almost six months. During that time I decided to give dating a try, I chose match.com as my source and had an insane amount of emails, phone conversations, dates…etc. It was the first time in almost forever that I was actually being taken out on dates and did NOT have to pay! I was amazed, and a bit overwhelmed. I thought “hmm this is interesting and I like it!” I was much more attrached to the older men that contacted me because they seemed to have it all together. They had their education, their careers, their goals, their own homes! And these are the exact reasons I chose to break it off with the person that did not want those things with me.

    So whats the catch?? Why am I on here asking for advice??
    Well, I think I was overwhelmed with all of the attention and dates with older more successful men from match that were ready to settle down that it made me realize maybe I wasn’t ready! I just couldn’t seem to shake my ex from my life and thought…”well maybe this is a sign and I should give it another shot. If Im not ready to make something happen with these amazing men then maybe I belong with him, maybe there is a reason it never happened with us.” Needless to say, I am back with him, and just as unhappy, if not more, than the first time. I am so over trying to make something work and progress that hasn’t budged in 7 yrs! I want to be selfish now! I want to find someone that likes to take me out and truely enjoys my company! I want to find someone that love to show and teach me new things and will give me career advice for my future! I want a companion that will happily try new adventures with me and go on vacations! And I want all of this with NO COMMITMENT. I don’t am exausted with calling and checking in, planning my day to day life around someone that doesn’t want more than to live at his parents for the rest of his life! I want a man! You have no idea how much this blog has made me realize its time for myself..its time for me to truely enjoy my life and the people I choose to have in it to the fullest! I just don’t even know how to go about starting this new chapter:-/

  169. OMG! I’ve killed the blog!

  170. Lily- just read your post about “vulture mail,” and found myself nodding in agreement with you. I can’ tell you how many times I’e gotten emails on this site from men who claim, they’re in NYC only on “business,” and they’d love to take me out to dinner for $400 one or twice a month- real email I’m quoting here, or “Hey; I just arrived and am in my hotel, wanna come over and play, I can spare $500.”

  171. BabyBlonde- I’ve switched my photo- of course it’s pending approval, but we’ll see if it makes a difference, and yes, I was starting to get paranoid.

    Lily- love your suggestions, and wouldn’t mind finding an SD IRL, however, I am COMPLETELY clueless as to where to find them! I maybe living in the best city in the world, IMHO, but trust me, I have no idea where you’d find them. Maybe someone could write up a guide on where to find SDs IRL- like a travel guide…lol!

  172. Safety isn’t an issue in my community. Thank goodness!
    But I do travel, sometimes… Gotta be wary!

  173. Lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. Got to sleep in late this morning, have to leave for work at 11.

    ESB, your ex boyfriend expects you to pay him back? Gee men have changed. They want to have the benefits of a wife without getting married (the sex and everthing) but don’t want to help out. Another reason to avoid regular dating. When my mom and stepdad were dating back in the 70’s, he paid for everything and he was a poor man but he never resented it. Took care of her for years and now they take care of each other in their senior years.

    Rachel, I am slow to give out my number too. I have a home phone which I am weary of giving out but my cell is prepaid because I seldom use it and i’m not looking to give out that number too quickly either as if they call me on that, it’s costing me 25 cents a minute to talk to them.

  174. Michael AZ says:

    Rachel – good idea re 2nd cell.

    Get a prepaid, they are quite anonymous and very difficult for the average person to trace.

    For everyone’s general information, it is generally quite easy to get name and address of the owner cell phone number. A large number of websites will provide the data on most cell numbers for about $5 per enquiry. Eg intelius dot com.

  175. Rachel 386002 says:

    ESB…. I am so sorry to hear of what happened to you. That’s just terrible. I am glad that you are taking care of things, and you seem to be a strong woman and holding yourself together with grace so I commend you on that.

    Question to the world…. should I get a second cell phone? I’ve always used mine, but blocked my # when I call (I don’t give out my #). Once I’ve built up trust will I not block the # and we will txt. Any thoughts?

  176. ESB says:

    Michael AZ:.. you’re funny! Yea, I think all of them love an excuse for a good fight. The jerk and the bikers. I don’t want my friends going after him unless he comes after me first. For now, just knowing they are watching me is good enough. Tommy wants me to stay in his condo at the beach for a few days. If it weren’t for my new job and getting BG to school, I’d take him up on it… but might go there after work on Fri. for the weekend. He’ll be there with his family, so it’ll be fun!!

  177. ESB says:

    Lily: The last 3 guys I went out with, violent man included, all offered to help me out out finacially, but I can’t let that happen until I am ready for some kind of commitment. Don’t want someone telling me I am in debt to them. I owe an XBF 2K, don’t know when or how I will pay it back. He is using it for an excuse to stay in touch with me. ON SA, both sides know what they are getting into, and haven’t met one SD yet who expects to be paid back for what he has given me. Just saying, it’s a fine line to cross, be careful!!

  178. Michael AZ says:

    Hey SportyCar – welcome! Totally off-topic question: what do you think of the Audi R8? Thinking of getting one.

    (Well, not totally off-topic. My SB and I looked at them a few days ago, she gave me the idea.)

  179. Michael AZ says:

    ESB – glad all is ok now. You sound as though your head is in a good place.

    Re your biker friends – maybe you should ask them to have a little chat to the guy from last night. If he is looking for trouble I am sure the boys will oblige him ….

    Have a great Sunday.

  180. I am so sorry to hear ESB story. It is so awful.
    Girls be careful with SD. 99 out of 100 can be great but the last one can destroy your life.

  181. ESB says:

    Michael AZ <3:
    1. 3 cop friends have been notified
    2. another friend suggested the same, letting Match know they have a potential danger on their hands, I did send them an email, haven’t heard back yet.
    3. Biker boys were doing drive by’s til 1 AM. Mervin and Tommy will NOT let anyone hurt me. Tommy texted me that he was sleeping in his truck at the store ¼ mile away, I told him to go home, I’m fine for now, doubt he’d come over here (30 miles away) any more that late. He is there (Tommy, the store) now.
    4. Been thinking of changing the cell # since I left my insurance job. Guess now would be a good time to do so, thank you for the suggestion.
    5. I always tell my friends where I am going, and with who, and give their address, name and cell # for in case I don’t show up the next day. Someone ALWAYS knows where I am.
    Thank you for your concern. Makes me feel much better, but I am still taking my profile off of SA. That was one hell of a wake up call for me. I’ve met the biggest jerks on here, not taking any more chances… but I have also met some really wonderful men from here as well, just non of them have panned out for me!

  182. Deborah says:

    Lily; your new blog idea sounds fascinating

    I have another question;

    Where are your SDs/SBs? In the same city or do you travel? I was reading a post about bumping into SD/SB on the street.

    Before then, it had never occurred to me, because I live in a city of nearly 4M.

  183. I currently have a whole face pic up, but in a different location & a few other identifiers changed, and do indicate a high allowance range, to avoid those who thinks that buying dinner is an arrangement.

  184. Ooh I finally found my next blog topic! Tips for hunting sugar, IRL.

    I’ll brainstorm here:
    1. Place yourself where scrubs are not.
    2. He has an apparently strong visceral reaction when he sees you, and can’t pull his eyes from you.
    3. You scan for visual qualifiers, and then send body language cues that you are open to him chatting you up.
    4. When you guys chat, indicate you are single and then indicate that you’ve sworn off dating in today’s dutch dating culture, as it simply does nothing for it does nothing for you.
    5. You’re so busy and not specifically looking for anything anyway, and don’t mind shelving your romantic life for as long as it takes until you happen to stumble upon a True gentleman with a traditional mindset about appreciating & looking after his lady, and when you find him, you know you’ll be ready to spoil him rotten in order to hang on to a gem like that.
    6. You indicate that this is a rare moment for you to be out & about, for fun & letting your hair down, as you have a ton on your plate, work-wise, and are hoping to get a more sure-footed career situation asap, but until your financial footing is 100% squared away, you just aren’t out cavorting as much as you’d like. (but no whining, follow up with a smiley, breezey, “no worries, I’m on my way, and I’ll make up for lost time when things calm down!”)
    7. Flirt, in between all these key clues you’re giving him.

    I’m certain that list is incomplete & flawed, but that was a rough draft of brainstorming from my iPhone.

  185. Single SDs met IRL are da bomb. Especially met in an upscale place, where the staff knows his drink by heart & trips over themselves to keep him happy.

    Ask me how I know. :)

    actually, I think IRL sugar-hunting is so much better. It really is an easy concept to hint at, with decreasing amounts of subtlety until you’re certain they are catching your drift crystal clear, and firmly on board with what you want. It’s so much easier & the men seem
    less (negatively) spoiled without knowing SA exists & more appreciative of you.

    I’m thinking to go whale hunting in Monaco with SB friends…maybe the next meet will be there!

    ESB, sheesh!!! How horrible!! ((((hugs))))

  186. babyblonde says:

    Lisa ~ I’m with you on this at least till I get the confidence back up to find mr. right I will do this and these guys have all been very charming for the most part I like the boundaries and benefits for now like training wheels and if I meet mr. right here then great! I haven’t given up, but I can’t date anymore and keep giving of myself only to be exposed and dumped on again. Which leads me to

    Carpathian ~ I checked out your pic and you are going to get a lot of that since no one knows what you look like they are going to ask it doesn’t mean you are necessarily going to be their type. But how are they going to know if they don’t ask. Maybe you could show some more of you? I had the same problem when all I showed was my body then I’d send a face pic and a lot of times I didn’t hear anything back it made me totally paranoid. Now I have a face pic where you can’t see my eyes, so I have eliminated that step. The guys who write me already know if I’m their type or not looks wise and I don’t think my friends know who I am,. I hope not. That is a concern for me sometimes. BUT I have met some very notable people men on here who do not hide their faces and this could affect their careers but they don’t seem to mind so even though I don’t want to be found out on here, I feel as though I’m in good company here with NY’s elite.

    I just leave my amount negotiable that way no one can use this against me like prostitution. I would love to hear other peoples thoughts on this. Do you care about being found out? and how do you feel about putting a price up?

  187. Michael AZ says:

    ESB –
    1. call the cops
    2. call match.com
    3. call the biker boys in and tell them to fix the problem – pronto!
    4. change your cell # and email address
    5. always have a safety call set up for the first few dates

    And people wonder why I am on sa.com rather than match.com (that was actually a rhetorical statement…)

    Please check in with the blog in the morning, and let us know you are ok.

  188. nygirl says:

    im new in this blog but i still cant believe wat happened with EBS..its terrible..now im scared to meet new SDs ..btw its rlly admirable the way to solve it..i dont think i will be able to hide my emotions…and LadyIntim once again thank u!

  189. meant to say “I have a photo of my neck and some hair on my profile” Sorry about that.

    I did meet a very nice man, we had a lovely lunch and then he had a crisis occur, so I never heard from him again. Other than the, “oh send a photo” I get nuthin’ :(

  190. ESB- sounds like you’ve gotten everything taken care of, and you’ll be snug as a bug in a rug.

    I don’t know about the whole SD thing- I get emails from guys, I respond, they ask for photos- as I have a photo of my neck and some hair-send them and then never, ever hear from them again. WTF? Someone please explain. ARGH.

  191. brown-sugar babe says:

    Thank you ESB for sharing!! I am glad that you are fine. That really shook me up & now I am pretty nervous about this whole thing! I did meet a pot SD (not from SA), and we have been discussing the possibility of me traveling to see him. He travels a lot & quite often so we have to decide if I will meet him while he is away on business, or in his home town. I have looked him up & he was honest about his business, etc. & he is married. We initially met in FL – and he initiated/suggested our SD/SB relationship. This was after we had already been intimate… I know, I know….. backwards right? I am separated – celibate for 2 1/2 years, and I was on vacation… decided to throw caution to the wind and indulge my desires!!! Anyway, he said he wanted to take care of me & was very clear on things being exclusive. Everything seems good except I am ready to set the travel arrangements NOW. He says he will set them and call me. that was 5 days ago. I told him I needed a weeks notice. Now it could be me – hormones raging and all :-) Or is he dragging his feet? maybe I need a little more patience! Also, now I feel like I need to be pretty cautious because of ESB’s incident. I want to see him again but what if he is really crazy! but he was very nice & professional when we met.. a gentleman all the way. The chemistry was there, conversation good , lots in common…. I really, really like him! & over the last 6 weeks we have talked regularly. we tried to hook up 2 weeks ago but he flew to a neighboring city as a la t minute deal & I couldntt meet him on such short notice. I also thought that maybe I shouldn’t even pursue anything since we already slept together…. I don’t know. I guess you all can tell I am a bit confused. This is new for me. Advice please…. .

  192. Lisa says:

    I tried eharmony once and they matched me with a cabinet maker, and a couple other guys that were of no interest to me.
    I’m really not interested in love anymore, not capable of it either. I have grown to like living by myself and my privacy. I just want someone special to have casual meetings with like my last sd. We went out for lunch every week, went shopping, enjoyed intimacy, and he got me out of a dreadful neighborhood into a much nice place where my parents and daughter also live. Sadly he poofed on me a couple months back so i’ve got to do all I can to maintain my living over here. Rent is paid till end of August by him so i’ve got some time.

    Going to watch some tv now. I don’t have to go to work till noon tomorrow so I get to sleep late for a change, usually have to get up at 5:45 on sundays.

    Have a good night everyone

  193. Blk_Barbie says:

    LadyIntem, thank you so much for the welcome! And you also answered so many questions I’ve had.

    2 weeks ago, I originally jumped in head first. But after my 1st SD situation, I decided to throw in the towel for a sec, and soak as much as possible in first. ha I even purchased the “Seeking Arrangement” book for some knowledge, so hopefully it will all be worthwhile :-)

    And Lisa, OMGoodness that sounds so sad, Girly! Try e Harmony and let THEM weed out the losers for you. Don’t just give up on love like that!

  194. Lisa says:

    Have a good night and stay safe ESB

  195. ESB says:

    Well, now that I got everyone worked up, and calmed back down.. Im off to bed.

    Lisa, good to see you, and everyone else!! <3, you are all wonderful and I know we will all find what we are looking for!! Just had a pot SD turned friend offer to come kick some booty for me… what a nice guy!! Nice to know I have so many friends looking out for me.

    Night all!! HUGS!!

  196. Lisa says:

    I have given up regular dating too. Too many disappointments, wasted time with only memories. I’ve came to believe that people are very disposable in today’s society and I really have lost my ability to connect. Material things last for awhile, sometimes many years, people and emotions are temporary. As I reflect on the sds i’ve had this past year, all have left me lonely where as the material things I gained from their help are still here to keep me company.

  197. babyblonde says:

    ESB Glad you are all good, a tough girl at heart! My kind of woman!

    Sadly I have given up on dating guys in my private life. SA is all I do, if I meet someone special that would be great but I get burnt out doing anything online if it’s personal for some reason, too much worry about what they will think of me and I get blurry eyed and it’s just easier here. The rich older guys are never a problem.

  198. LadyIntim says:

    Hi Blk Barbie and Michelle !

    I have been on SA for about a year and a half now. I have 2 stable SD’s that have been in my life for over a year and I still meet other SDs when I need a little excitement and extra cash for my future. In the beginning I was extremely cautious (I am glad, I had no experience in comparison to right now) and wouldn’t have dreamt of flying to a different city to meet a pot. SD. As time progressed, i kept meeting these really genuine, nice men that followed through on everythign they said…sometimes I would meet them and it wouldn’t go anywhere, which was ok too because I was SAFE. You gain something new from every person you meet. So, as time went on, my confidence grew and I got to the point where I got very comfortable. So, I started venturing out and travelling to meet. There were a couple SDs I flew to meet and we literally exchanged no more than 4-5 messages and a paypal transaction. So far nothing bad happened to me, but the more I think about it the more I am starting to feel LUCKY. It’s so easy to sit back and think , “Nothing bad will ever happen to me. I am invicible.” So the point is that if you are going to travel to meet a pot. SD, make sure you get to know him online first, then talk to him one the phone (someone’s vocie and phone manners say a lot about a person I think), hopefully you can even look him up on google if he is the prominent Businessman Daddy CEO he says he is surely there should be some info. At any rate, it has been my experience that a legitimate SD wouldn’t dare jeopardizing you feeling safe and secure and he will do everything to ensure you feel comfortable and happy to meet. Always meet in a public place first. Always have the room in your name. Always tell a good friend where you are and then phone number and e-mail of the person you are with. And never allow an SD to bully you or rush you into meeting when you don’t feel comfortable. And if you are travelling to meet an SD he should have already wired you a portion of your ALREADY AGREED UPON allwance via paypal or at least booked everything in your name and handing it to you in cash once you met. Never travel to a man from SA unless you already know ahead of time what he expects to give you in terms of an allowance. If an SD accuses you of being a hooker or an escourt he shouldn’t be on this website to begin with. I have nothing against escorts. But an escort won’t provide half of the emotional, physical, and intellectual spoiling a true SB can and WANTS to give an SD. In return, a good SD should WANT to spoil her back…financially included. As a mom and a woman you absolutely owe it to yourself and your baby to be careful.

  199. ESB says:

    And I’d like to thank all of you for your concern. I really am fine, have not contacted him, although he did call me earlier to thank me for a wonderful evening… shivers… and I didnt’ answer, shouldn’t have listened to the voice mail… but did. I’m not contacting him ’til I know he has calmed down, and will be expecting me to tell him to F off. I have enough cop friends, and with the Pageans doing drive bys… (BG just commented on all the Harley’s on the road tonight! :) I just hope I can get some sleep) I feel very safe. The creep doesn’t know my last name, and the town he thinks I live in is actually 15 miles away. He’ll never find me.

  200. ESB says:

    Sorry, I had to go pick up BG, just got back.

    I am fine and he was NOT from SA. I met him on Match. This was a 2nd date, and there were NO warning signs. We spent a wonderful night together, and I thought this could really lead to something special… uh..NO. I am still a bit shook up, but I will be fine.

    I did mention to him I have some very ugly friends, you may have heard of them, the Pageans? Yes, as in biker gang. One of my good deads that went unpunished. I did something nice for one of them, got adopted by like 50 of them… and I gave the one a phone call today. I am in good hands.. well, I am safe anyway!!

    I do know some moves that are designed to excape, but this guy is not your typical man. He LOOKS for trouble, I got that out of him lafter the incidenet. He was giving me all kinds of amo for if I need to involve the police, and I did call my cop friend, he is aware of the situation, there is nothing I can do ’til the courts are open on Mon. Anyway, he is not afraid of my Pagean friends, or my ties to the law, or anything else. He likes the challenge of new people to fight with … why did I not see this sooner? It didnt’ come up!!

    So, lesson here.. safety first ALWAYS ladies. A well placed knee would do wonders for escape, but there was no oportunity for me to do anything, and I was afraid if I tried, I’d be paying for it.

  201. michelle says:

    Hi:) Im relatively new here and I’m looking for advise from anyone:) I have been on here for three months. The first person I started talking to was amazing. He sent me a check for $3400 to come see him, put me up in a hotel so I felt safe and never expected anything from me, we had a great time and tons of attraction! Anyhow we met 3 other times and everytime he sent a check first (yes it did become sexual). Anyhow he ended it and said he met a women close to him and wanted to pursue a real relationship! Disappointed but understood.. Now Im talking to new people and when I even mention allowance they assume Im an escort. Which trust me I would walk away if I did not feel attractions. Anyhow, it doesnt seem right to fly to meet someone if you are not on the same page financially, but if you bring it up it scares them away…any suggestions?

  202. Lisa says:

    I knew one of my sds online for almost a year before flying to meet him. I was at complete ease when I went though.

  203. Blk_Barbie says:

    Good evening, everyone.

    Wow, ESB, I am sorry to hear that.. That is very scary. Although I was in a SD/SB relationship years ago, I am new to this SB/SD online concept. So I feel like I am starting from scratch, learning about the ettiquette, terms and such.

    The situation that ESB described with the psycho-SD gone mad is exactly what I am weary about.

    When dealing with a potential SD, how are we to know that we are safe?

    I believe that I may have offended a potential SD a few days ago because my guard was up and he was very impatient and irrational. I believe that had he had just a little bit more patience and was understanding, we would have certainly made the perfect SD/SB match! He would’ve been an out-of-down SD and I was willing to make arrangements to meet him because he seemed so wonderful after our first (and last) phone conversation.

    Even though it was a short 3 days from beginning to end, I still wonder about the amazing outcome that could have easily been established.

    Ladies, at what point does your SD make you feel secure enough to take your baby to Grandma’s house and hop on a plane to meet him for the first time?

  204. Lisa says:

    I have also learned that the older ones (upper 50’s to 70 (my most recent sd was 70) are the most gentlemanly and even though they might not be experienced in being a sd (my last one was a rookie) they have traditional manners to begin with so it’s easier for them to grasp the concept whereas the modern man in his 30’s for example thinks he really doing something if he pays for dinner. Married men are also less to pressure you into a serious relationship which in some cases, might be just a way to get you cheap or to not have to pay allowance. I’m looking for someone to enhance my life, not looking to jump into a completely different life on impulse.

  205. LadyIntim says:

    Lisa, I’m so glad you backed up my theory. I’m sure there are lots of decent single SDs out there, and I met a few of them, but from now on I am definitely sticking to the married SDs. I’ve never met a married SD that wasn’t respectful and mindful of how he treats me. Better safe than sorry!

  206. Lisa says:

    I agree on the married SDs. I have always been weary of any single man who has to advertise to get a woman as if he’s really got all that going for him, he could meet someone in real life. Maybe he’s got some hidden agenda or defect that keeps him from meeting anyone thus these men stay on the dating sites for years. A married man on the other hand can’t meet another woman through work, family or friends. He must look elsewhere and if he’s looking to be a sd, have an affair, or whatever, he certainly can’t just go up to any woman and ask her.

    The single men i’ve met online from regular sites in the past where either mama’s boys (never married and in their 50’s), divorce several times, have unnatural attractions for their dogs (I met one guy who talked about nothing but his dog), or they have some social problem where they can’t meet woman. Whereas the married men i’ve met have all been sane, intelligent, sucessful, but just looking for something extra.

  207. LadyIntim says:

    I need to study but all I can think of is ESB and her scary ordeal. UGh! WHy Why Why does this happen? What is the matter with some people?

  208. LadyIntim says:

    Ladies, I know this might not always work, but that’s part of the reason I always indicte on my profile that the only type of SD I will meet is a married one. I know that there are plenty of married freaks out there as well, but a man who has a wife and children back home tend to be far more careful and gentle with the way they treat other people. I know this might sound naive, but in my mind I think of them as somewhat pre-screened by someone else. Someone else thought they were kind and safe enough to marry…so I think it help at least a little. That’s my two cents on that. As far as my other safety precautions, when I meet a new guy I always let them know that a male best friend knows where I am and will be calling me to check up on me. And I do. I have a really great guyfriend who always takes me to the airport when I travel, keeps my coordinates and expects to hear from me after a certain time. If he doesn’t get the call-something’s wrong. Girls, please be careful. My goodness, ESB, I can’t tell you how disguasted I am at this pathetic maniac. Keep your head up and take this in stride. He is a minority and gives all good men out there a bad name. People like that should be executed a la Sadaam Hussein style.

  209. Samantha says:

    well hello everyone, Im new to this site and as of right now, have no plans set up. I was a member of another SD site that became overran with prostitutes and escorts quoting hourly rates. And men looking for cheap thrills, also there are the regular men who are not succesSful by any meaning of the word, but they just sign up to meet hot chicks and play head games.
    I never had any luck there, i might add..lol..Kind of sick of men messaging me for naked pics or the one word lines such as “wanna hook up”..Oh i’ve heard it all from these SD wannabe’s
    So Im really hoping this site gives me the opportunity to meet a lovely, sweet, charming SD.

  210. LadyIntim says:


  211. babyblonde says:

    Oh yeah I say the guy and his wife so SD doesn’t get the idea these guys in your life are a threat…

  212. Deborah says:

    ESB, what is with the boys in Toronto this weekend?
    I’m glad you talked your way out of that situation, you must have been horrified!
    Carpathian, glad you saw the light. Sheesh! Silly boys

  213. babyblonde says:

    ESB I am soooo glad you are safe from all this and handled the situation quite well! You made some wise decisions. Stay alive and send out the troops! Hope you have all this documented and do everything you can to protect yourself so he does not turn into a stalker and does not try to ruin your future reputation, credit or otherwise beautiful life.

    I wish you could have gotten out, and called for help to get away sooner but that’s not always possible. My background is security and I am a trained fighter so guys don’t mess with me here if they aren’t afraid of me they are afraid of the people i know. Ladies don’t be afraid to casually mention when you meet these guys, the neighbor or best friend you have that’s a cop, or the guy would would do anything for you because him and his wife just love you so much and would do anything for you. Things like that can help divert someone in the beginning from thinking you are vulnerable and ever all alone even when you are as long as you don’t have an in your face attitude about it. You can deter a situation by showing them that people care about your well being and they will be a little less likely to pick on you. Usually these types of men are so insecure they are looking for someone that they can pick on and get away with it.

    Always try and stay calm, keep your voice calm and gentle and think about moving forward. I’ve been in a lot of scary situations and gotten out of all of them. It’s a matter of outsmarting them and if it takes swallowing your pride and anger for a moment and not escalating the situation you CAN move mountains and look back with pride on yourself for being smart and getting out safely and quickly.

    I would also say if any of you can, please take a self defense course, stay in shape, not only is it in your best interest but it’s sexy and guys love a woman who can defend herself. You will have so much more confidence also.

    ESB I think you are awesome and did great and that was amazing of you to share your experience with the rest of us. Thank you so much!

  214. ESB, oh my gosh, that’s a horrible experience. Thank god you kept your cool and were able to talk your way out of that mess. And thanks very much for taking the time out to warn us about what could possibly happen and what to do if it does.

    Deborah, I also live in a big city, and got an initial email from a man who told me that everyone on the site but him was a shark. He didn’t believe in allowances, but would feed me. Then he stated that I was stupid if I didn’t email him back immediately. I blocked him…bwaahaaa

  215. Lisa says:

    ESB that’s terrible :(

  216. Lisa says:

    Weekends suck for me. I’m probably the only person who loves mondays.
    Got an email from a guy who emailed me years ago on another site. I sent him an email back suggesting he change his picture to a current one. Also reminded him that when he wanted to meet me back then and I declined (he just looked like a boasting, bragging jerk to me) he said he was only trying to do me a favor as he doesn’t usually date people in my income bracket. Anyway he emailed back and said he didn’t remember me and wished me luck. He did change his picture though, not sure if it’s current but the one he had before just stuck in my head for the last 5 years.

  217. ESB says:

    Well, good evening everyone!! Looks like some great conversations started… and I’m about to put a damper on things.. sorry..

    The reason I’m telling you all this is I want any SBs who come across this situation to KNOW how to handle it.

    I had a date go HORRIBLY wrong. It was realy nice until he mentioned “future” and I was just being honest with him, said I wasn’t there yet, wasn’t sure if/when I would be, and to please take it slow, let this develop before making any plans, and he said to get the F out! (nice!)

    So, I’m getting my clothes on, and he grabs me under the throat on my chest, and shoves me on my back onto the bed. He is sitting on me, and said to “explain” myself. I wanted to cry, but knew if I did, it would piss him off.. and I couldn’t show anger or he would have gotten more angry. I spent the next 3 hours letting him know we are ok, that I had a great time, we would see each other again, ANYTHING he wanted to hear. If I had said ANYTHING that he didn’t want to hear (and I did a few times) he would get angry all over again. Terrified does not touch what I was feeling. I had to act like everything was OK, go along with what he wanted, and for goodness sakes ladies if you are EVER in this situation with a SD gone wrong, please, don’t try to be a hero. Getting out alive is more important than anything else. Dont show emotion, just do/say what he wants. Men like that are abusers, and there is only one way to handle them.. until you are safe, then send out the troops to teach him a lesson!!

  218. Deborah says:

    Hi Shoogar Shoes, I agree. I won’t sleep over on a first date.
    He set something up with one of his other girls.

  219. Deborah,

    His comment, “Most SBs end up at his place…” is where it stops. Definitely a HUGE red flag. As far as etiquette for getting to dates? Well, a genuine and experienced SD will offer to provide you with transportation (cab, driver, etc) and will want to make sure you are comfortable and feel safe the entire time. And ‘cut your teeth’ before meeting him??? He sounds like a real tool. Your age, older, younger…it doesn’t matter. All of it can be fun, but the number one rule is RESPECT.

  220. Deborah says:

    Thanks Michael, and to think that HE was the one that warned me about shark infested waters around here!
    He wanted me to ‘cut my teeth’ on other initial meetings before I met him too. UGH.
    I’m not going there.
    Too bad, he was close to my age, could have been fun :)

  221. Michael AZ says:

    Hey Deborah – welcome!!
    Red flag? You bet. Ask him very clearly and politely what his expectations are, and also lay out your expectations. If you don’t have that kind of discussion up front, it could be a problem later. You have got to have the conversations early on – allowance, expectations, timing etc etc.

    Changing his mind like that is also a red flag. You MUST require that he does not change his mind on you like that, and treats you will full honesty, trust and respect. I sense that he is not doing this, and he is just an opportunistic SD, seeing what he can get for free.

    You should be saying to yourself – next!

  222. Deborah says:

    I’ve got a question, and I’m really pleased to see an SD here.
    I got canceled on tonight because I don’t drive.
    I kinda gulped and moved on. I live in a really big city for a reason. Is there serious etiquette for getting to dates??
    We were scheduled to meet at 8. He emailed me back at 4:57 and said ‘let’s have dinner anyways’. He was coming to my neck of the woods.
    I’m still trying to pick up my jaw. I told him he had better be the joker this time (he thought I was joking when I said I don’t drive), that he was harsh. He has replied that most of his dates involve alcohol, most SB’s end up at his place blah blah. I see red flags.
    I’m going to ask what his expectations are. First date, going back to his place? uhhh, noo
    First knuckle rapping delivered!
    This place rocks! I’ve been a little sponge, lurking back posts to learn.
    Thank you for all your stories! Even the midnight bantering is fun to read.

  223. Michael AZ says:

    No sugar here this weekend, her parents are in town visiting, so I am keeping well away! Limited to texts and phone calls, but she will be up here mid-week for a day or so. Yay!

    News? Hmmm. I quit working for The Man a couple of weeks ago, taking 3 months off and working on a couple of projects, plus doing some travelling to Europe, Canada, Mexico and maybe Oz. SB will be in Canada over summer, so will visit her there. Will be a good summer!!

  224. LadyIntim says:

    Ok, well I am so busy studying for my finals that I really won’t have a life for the next 10 days. But I am making time to sneak off to the East Coast with my SD#1 to enjoy the ocean and good sea food. But I will be studying the entire time I am there anyway, which means I won’t let go all the way. When I go on these studying binges I’m constantly wired, so it wont be as relaxing as usual. But I’ll be all done around the 27th, which is when my future husband SD is coming and this time I get to be with him for 3 nights in a row! YAY! I can’t wait! I don’t know why he is doing this to me but today I woke up to a knock on the door from flower delivery company. 2 bouquets of red red roses…as if one wasn’t enough…what did I do to deserve this??? :)

  225. Michael AZ says:

    first again! jeez – I need to get a life….