10 years ago
Welcoming Newbie Sugars


If you’ve just recently started your journey here in Sugarland, welcome, and for those of you who already know your way around the SD/SB dating realm, please remember that newbies can always use helpful advice.

“I know that it can take a lot more time and effort to find a sugar daddy than a ‘normal’ guy or normal relationship, but it was so nice to hear that I wasn’t the only one noticing that finding the right arrangement takes time. Thanks to the sugar blog I stayed strong and continued my search. It took 3 and 1/2 months, but I followed the advice of the sugar baby and sugar daddy bloggers (applying their wisdom to my profile and search techniques) and what do you know? I have finally found the arrangement I’ve been looking for! Big thanks to the sweedet sugar bloggers!” – Anonymous

Do you have any sugar in store for this weekend?

Have you noticed more newbie sugars than usual? Do you have a preference between  new or familiar sugars?

Leave a Reply

293 Responses to “Welcoming Newbie Sugars”

  1. Sabiá says:

    New to the site as well as to the SB atmosphere…
    Hoping to find the SD for me

  2. Misserin3 says:

    Hey, I am new too and I am still trying to figure everything out as well! I see the other comments and I feel the same as them and with the same questions! Any advice or tips or anything would be great !

  3. NuvoGeisha says:

    is there any SB that would be able to take me under the wing maybe? or is that weird to ask?

  4. NuvoGeisha says:

    now i have a few questions.

    i have been on this site for 2months now, and seem to attract train wrecks. Or SD seem REALLY interested in me, then they poof.
    For example:
    i had a date with an awesome guy from Atlanta, we met and clicked off the bat. he said i was just what he was looking for, but i didn’t have sex with him on our first date. He gave me 200$ for a canoe trip i wanted to take. Then i never herd from him again. So i don’t understand.
    one more example:
    a SD offerd me 500 a week to see if it would work out. then claimed that he loved me afetr we talked on the phone. he finaly asked me if i loved him, i said no (duh) and he got super angrey.

    are there any tips i could use??
    any logic to all this??


  5. AliceLuv says:

    I’m also new on here and the advice is great (the comments I read), however, I send winks and chat sometime and nothing ever comes of it! I’m kind of discouraged. What should I do??? I really don’t know. Help me SBs!!

  6. Reyna says:

    Hello Sugars:)

    I’m brand new to this site. I am so grateful for this blog! Great idea:)

    I’m meeting w my 1st SD today. He invited me to a benefit event in a nice venue in NY 🙂 I only joined about a week ago and I am getting a lot of requests! On my profile for my allowance I put open/negotiable bc I don’t want my SD to think there’s a limit. I would like minimum 4-6 k per month. When my SD asked me I felt…uncomfortable telling him a dollar amount. Should I just put the exact amount on my profile?

    Also, he sounds like he really wants to take it to the next step on the 1st date, but I don’t feel comfortable doing so. I let him know that- he says that’s fine but then said “wear a nice dress and nice lingerie”! … Is this normal? Should I expect this for most of the arrangements? Should I cancel or just call him and reemphasize what I will definitely NOT be doing?

    I don’t want it to be awkward for him, but I will be driving 2 hours to see him and want it to be a pleasant experience for the both of us.

    Thanks in advance for your advice fellow SB:)

  7. camillia henry says:


  8. Elle123 says:

    Hey sugars! I just posted my profile on here a month ago hoping I would find a sugar daddy, turns out its a lot harder than I thought 🙁 Ive had a lot of conversations with different people but when the time comes to set up a date, they usually flake! I have a date this weekend, hopefully I wont have to look any further after this 😉

  9. DoubleD says:

    Hi Sugarworld! I’m a newbie here and I must say thank you so much for everyones encouraging and helpful posts. I’m so glad we can use this forum to learn from each other. 🙂
    I have no dates this weekend because I’m heading on a 7 day cruise to Italy and a 3day stay in Spain! I’m so excited! One of my stops will be in Sugarland of Monte Carlo. I hope to find a sweet Sugarprince on my stay there just for fun and more! Any suggestions on where to find my prince charming? Thanks so much and sending you all lots of sugarlicious kisses! 🙂

  10. Natalie says:

    @English Amy: thanks for the advice, makes me feel better.

    okay so, a SD sent me a mail with his phone number. also, no picture. he seems serious, but it scares me a little bit. i mean im new to all this so i know its going to scare me a little at first. so what do i do? should i call him or should i ask him for a picture first?

    and also what pre cautions should i take? what should i look out for? and what are all the questions i should ask about him and the arrangement?

    if someone would help me out please, i would really appreciate it..


  11. Sasha says:

    @ english amy Thx so much…I think I have sent out so many emails but i get few responses. Most responses say…thx for the emails but I’m looking for someone closer. I’m not giving up. Do you really get more emails from potentials if you have a premium membership and more than i pic? I just heard that from someone on another blog? Maybe thats what I’m doing wrong.

  12. Jazzie says:

    Great advice Rachel! I’m new to the site and would love to ask you a few questions. Is it OK to get your email addy and email you?


  13. English Amy says:

    @Natalie – Just keep at it. All new SB’s tend to be in for a bit of a shock when they realise just how long it can sometimes take to find a good SD.
    I sent out 15 emails just recently and only 1 replied. I have improved my profile since, haha!
    But honestly, sometimes you’re just not connecting with the right people. Keep at it. And I wouldn’t worry too much about the no picture thing. At first it put me off but I’ve found that genuine SD’s will happily send you pictures of themselves after one or two emails, just ask for it.

  14. Natalie says:

    i am getting frustrated i write to people and nobody writes back!
    and the very few that have mailed me dont have pictures so how do i know its for real?
    im starting to think im never going to find my arrangement

  15. English Amy says:

    The last thing you want is a frugal SD!! ..Discounts at the grocery store…reminds me of my father, shudder.
    Yes. I have daddy issues.
    Just not of the sugar variety ;P
    But seriously, I think you can find better – and someone more suited to your needs! I think its good that you’re going to ask but even better if you’re prepared to move on!
    Asking an SD for what you want -should- be the simplest thing (easier said then done though right?) after all, isn’t that the point of this entire site?
    Good luck!

    You -offended- him?? Thats laughable. What a fool. I can’t stand immaturity in a man. If that was an attractive trait then I would be happy with the dozen or so 20yo boys who hang around the local pub. I don’t think so. And obviously you feel the same 🙂
    I agree, a true SD just..doesn’t act like that. Oh well, lesson learned – hopefully it will teach you a few things to look out for in the future.
    Good Good – move on and upwards! $4,000 isn’t bad, especially if he sticks to it! Did he bring it up and offer that amount straight away?
    Crossing my fingers with you on this one!

  16. Carolina Sugar Baby says:

    English Amy I emailed for about 3-4 days and talked on the phone for about a day. He got his hopes up thinking I was easy. Apparently I offended him when I wasn’t “easy”. “If there’s chemistry would you regret anything?” That’s the jist of things I was told on the phone. I’m not taking my panties off till an arrangement is made!

    But anywho received terrible immature childish texts from him till 2 in the morning. I bet he was fake. No businessman is that immature and childish. But anyhow I’m moving on.

    Talking to pot this evening via phone. He is talking a $4000 allowance. But we’ll see how all goes. Fingers crossed!!! Thank you for wishing me good luck.

  17. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    New blog topic everybody. See you on the other side!

  18. pinky says:

    Thanks for the advice SD Guru. I know, bad decision making on my part. I think I need to focus on my business so I can start becoming more independent so in case he says no to my request I can start looking for another quickly after. The only thing is I hope we continue to stay friends, because he is a real nice guy but he is too money conscious. He keeps telling me how he gets deals on what he buys, even when he goes to the grocery. It isn’t like he needs those deals! Maybe his frugal ways got him rich, don’t know?

  19. English Amy says:

    Somebody pulled some crazy stuff on you through your phone? I’ve just been wondering about the same thing. I think its a good idea to talk to someone before meeting in person as it gives a more accurate idea of the person’s personality and manner (at least you hope!) than emails.
    But, whats the safe way of going about this?
    A seperate phone for pot SD’s?
    Blocking your number?
    How long had you been talking to this guy for?

    Oh – and good luck!

  20. Carolina Sugar Baby says:

    Me too Red! I’m still curious how other SB and SD wait to give out there number. I won’t hand mine over so easy again.

    But I did find a new pot in couple hours from me. Hope he’s promising. Wish me luck.

  21. RedMaru says:

    Cool…..Glad you decided to stay
    Hope you got rid of that wacko

  22. Carolina Sugar Baby says:

    Red Maru I’m here mainly for the blog and the friends I’ve made. 🙂

    If anyone wants to contact me outside the blog you can message me at carolina sugar baby at g mail dot com.

    Hope everyone is doing well.

  23. Carolina Sugar Baby says:

    I’m here still.

  24. RedMaru says:

    @ EnglishAmy No prob 😀 sending some more at ya

  25. babyblonde says:

    SDGuru ~ “I’ll write up “The 5 Stages of Sugar” later today to explain the lifecycle in the sugar world that might be helpful to you. ”

    gu·ru (go͝orˈo͞o, go͝o-ro͞oˈ)
    noun pl. gu·rus
    Hinduism & Tibetan Buddhism A personal spiritual teacher.
    a. A teacher and guide in spiritual and philosophical matters.
    b. A trusted counselor and adviser; a mentor.
    a. A recognized leader in a field: the guru of high finance.
    b. An acknowledged and influential advocate, as of a movement or idea: “In a culture that worships slimness, he was the Guru of Lean” (Erica Abeel).

    Just curious what makes you a guru ? Are you a Sugar Baby guru or a Sugar Daddy guru ? Or are you an experienced expert at both? Or are you man of spiritual significance? That could be somewhat helpful if you are.

    I have read some of your posts, and at times feel you have a common sense approach. But theories don’t always work out in reality.

    I’ve been doing this 20 yrs and have known hundreds of women who are very successful Sugar Babies and I’m still learning. Many times you are not quite sure whether to believe my posts which tells me you don’t have much first hand experience that even some of the women who have been on here a year or less have had and could really speak on these issues in a way that would impact newbie Sugar Babies very positively if you’d let us. I feel that many times you make it much more difficult that it truly is and don’t understand the issues that these women face through no fault of your own, only due to your lack of experience on this side of the fence. Although I must say you are quite good at making women feel as though you truly understand their situation and perhaps you mean well. I can’t really be sure what your POV or motive is. What is it by the way that makes you go out of your way to spend the time to write up these things and act as house guru? Maybe it will help me understand you more and be less suspicious of you. It is really hard since you are a skeptic of so many things we have said that are the crux of success not just in making ourselves happy but the lives of our Sugar Daddy’s.

    Personally I don’t believe in gurus I am on my own path and find it is best to glean information from many different experts rather than to put anyone one person on a pedestal.

    I’d really like you to find your place on this board and you have been a help to many women and I don’t want to offend or hurt you but perhaps you could humble yourself to at least equal footing amongst the rest of us.

  26. English Amy says:

    @ SD Guru, once again thanks for the help!
    I’ve been backlogging and am amazed at all the effort you’ve put in to giving people advice and answering questions.
    You really do take care of us. I hope your SB is taking care of you.

    @Frayed Edges
    Sounds like things are good. $8,000pm is a nice setup. Lets hope things kick off well between you & make sure he sticks to his side of the arrangement!
    I think if you’re happy with an SD than exclusive arrangements are fine. Just make sure he doesn’t expect you to be exclusive and for him to run free.
    Otherwise, best of luck!

    Believe it or not the sun has actually come! I think you may just be lucky weather charm. Keep sending it over!

  27. RedMaru says:

    FrayedEdges – Got fingers and toes crossed for ya girl hope it turns out sweet!

  28. FrayedEdges says:

    I have a good potential. Very straight up and clear about an arrangement… He put an allowance at $8,000… Clearly spelled it out as a friend with benefits type of thing. After the emotional roller coaster I’ve been through with past SDs who wanted the traditional girlfriend experience, it’s refreshing… He wants it to be an exclusive arrangement though…Not exactly a problem for me. Now arranging a date to meet. May or may not work out, but it’d be good if it did.

  29. Thanks SD Guru. The good thing about my situation is that I work primarily in the entertainment world and ideally my career does make me quite a bit bi-coastal. I have representation in NYC still so they too will likely be happy to hear that I can come in more often for auditions, meetings, etc. Last year I was constantly flying out for Law and Order and other projects, etc. So I think I have a unique situation where I can thankfully accommodate. Additionally, my small business actually is taking on more of a media approach as well so again a bi-coastal life is going to be more prevalent as I find more success. LA thankfully is just a transitional career oriented move, but thankfully I’m not bound here.

  30. RedMaru says:

    SD Guru I sit at your feet faithfully taking notes. 😀 :d

  31. SD Guru says:

    It’s been a very active blog! Since a new blog topic starts every few days, looks like time maybe running out on this one. I’ll comment on a few things and then write up “The 5 stages of sugar” to address several things I’ve read from the newbies.


    You need a part time job on one of those river boat tours!

    Actually, that’s my full time job! 😀 Let us know how your day went.


    So my 1st is dominant type whom wants me to be obedient and obey my daddy! He’s into very rough sex, gagging me with his unit, spanking of course, and pretty much whatever else it is he wants!

    Some men are into the BDSM fetish. If you’re not familiar with it then do some research and see if it’s for you. But if he gets off on always talking about what he wants and what he will do to you, then you already know what to do.


    Empire State here I come!

    Looks like you’ve done things the right way and thought things through before deciding to take the trip. The only thing I’d suggest is that you should carefully consider the time and effort required to make a bi-coastal arrangement work on an on-going basis. It’s possible, but it won’t be easy. Good luck!


    Actually being part of this lifestyle made me realise that it isn’t that simple finding the right SD. I have one right now, but I’m not too happy with the amount he is giving me, the funny thing is he thinks it is a lot. I know I agreed, but with the agreement it would change. Now I’m wondering when that change will come, because I really want more cash. What really sucks is that I’m quite dependent on him, so leaving him is not an option unless I find someone immediately.

    I would not recommend a SB to become dependent on her SD because of the type of situation you described. As I said before, one should always make decisions from a position of strength, and becoming dependent on someone does not put you in that position. I’d suggest that you remind him of the agreement to change the allowance and see if he is willing and able to work it out with you. If not, then you should start looking for alternatives.


    on our first date he spent over $20,000.00 on us both….
    But I have more practical goals in life than I do a want for material items…

    Consider yourself lucky for hitting the jackpot!! If he is willing and able to spend 20 grand on the first date, then it shouldn’t be a stretch to ask him to help with your debt. Some SB’s come on the blog to write about what they really want and why, but then say they have no idea how to bring it up. The answer is simple, just discuss it with the pot SD the same way you wrote it on the blog!!


    he had said that things would play out with him giving me an agreed upon sum of allowance at the start of the weekend, if there was chemistry, of course. Then he had selective amnesia and just laid the sexual pressure on thick and when I hinted at allowance he said he felt like things got “transactional in nature” and felt “worked.” just shocking. Bait & switch.

    It’s a classic bait and switched as you described. How long did you correspond with him before agreeing to take the trip? In a case like this, there may be clues that could have alerted you to the B&S that’s to come. Sometimes you have done everything you can and it still happens, but sometimes there are warning signs if you retrace your steps.

    In most of my bad experiences I could go back and recognize the warning signs. Hindsight is 20/20, sometimes I saw the warning signs but chose to ignore them, and sometimes I missed the warning signs because I wasn’t paying attention. Learn from your experience and turn the hindsight into foresight for your next encounter. Good luck!


    Anyone looking for acceptance from the opposite sex for whatever reason is heading down a road of disaster. You really do have to question yourself on why you are on a site like this and not a traditional dating site.

    Very well said. Acceptance and confidence come from within. This goes along with what I said earlier about having thick skin and being able to handle rejection in the sugar world.

    @Carolina SB
    @Sugarbaby F
    And anyone else who shared their experiences, both good and bad. I’ll write up “The 5 Stages of Sugar” later today to explain the lifecycle in the sugar world that might be helpful to you.

  32. RedMaru says:

    Well we got enough sunshine here so sending some your way!

  33. English Amy says:

    No problemo! 🙂

    Well..its currently 18° celsius so thats pretty warm! …But its completly overcast. Haven’t seen the sun for 2 days! 🙁

  34. RedMaru says:

    Hey EnglishAmy – Thanks for the tip I’m going to try that 😀 Hows the weather over in your neck of the woods?

  35. English Amy says:

    Mosquito bites! Oh no! Whenever I go to Italy I end up looking like I have some disease if I forget to put on repellent. I find that rubbing a bar of soap (dry) onto the bites helps relieve the itching though! You should try it. 🙂

  36. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugars! Its Wednesday already. Hows everyone?
    Mosquitos had a feast with my left arm last night because I was out watching the lightning bug show in an unlit wooded section of my neighborhood. It was so pretty! And I have over 7000 steps on my Pokemeter and collected lots o prizes so I’m having fun

    Carolinasugar and sasha – please dont leave 🙁 🙁

  37. English Amy says:

    Wow, you guys are serious bloggers! I hope I can keep up! 🙂

    Thanks for the tips! Yeah, defiantly need to step up and get in there before someone else does! Its a tough sugar world.
    Hahaha, no stalking, got it.

    Of course you’re right. I guess part of what being a SB or SD is being ‘picky’ knowing what you want from a relationship, or arrangement, and then not settling for less. I just have to keep that in mind!

    ..Er…Wow. Haha what a douchebag! Seriously, you poor thing. I doubt he was even a genuine SD. Sounds like some idiot trying to get his kicks. And I want to look at your profile!! Everyone says how nice your pictures are 🙂 But…for some reason it say’s ‘Profile Not Available’ 🙁 Bummer.

    @Artist &Nora
    I’m from the UK! I was just going to ask fellow sugars the same thing. I find it a lot more difficult scoping out pot. SD’s in this area. It’s so true that the best ones are in USA! Actually tempted to move out there. I need better weather than England anyway! 🙂
    But like Rae said, don’t rule out SD’s from the States. Let them know you’re interested and see just how much they’re interested in you. I sent a message to one guy and he replied with ‘Don’t you think you’re a little far away?’…no need to continue that one then!
    Remember, they have the money, they travel. And (if they’re a true SD of course) they are willing to spend that money on you – why not a plane ticket?
    Also keep in mind if you go on holiday – Maybe scope out whether there are SD’s in that area before you go. Get in touch and say you’re planning to visit the area and if they want to meet up. Personal tour guide maybe? 🙂
    I guess us non-american SB’s just have to make sure we work extra hard to get the good ones! 🙂

    Thanks for that list of tips/questions for Newbies! Really great to keep in mind. I actually copied and pasted it onto a sticky note! 🙂


  38. hellooooo Virginia!

    I am all settled into my new home. It is lovely! Good neighborhood, only 5mi from work. Start day 1 of my 4-day training today. I am pretty excited.

    Hope life is sweet in the sugar bowl today…

    Now, I should probably go catch up on the blog.

  39. c-baby says:

    hi y’all
    i was just wondering what do you write to a sugar daddy that you seem to been interested in cuz when i tell them i will like to know them, i don’t get reply

  40. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Hey Lily – any other pots on the horizon? (too much coffee – cannot sleep)

  41. Lily says:

    SD Guru – he had said that things would play out with him giving me an agreed upon sum of allowance at the start of the weekend, if there was chemistry, of course.
    Then he had selective amnesia and just laid the sexual pressure on thick and when I hinted at allowance he said he felt like things got “transactional in nature” and felt “worked.”
    just shocking. Bait & switch.

  42. lilshything says:

    Alright, so I put something on my page….I think it might be a touch too long though >_<

    Waiting on two other pictures to get approved, the only really nice 'professional' looking pictures I have are from my senior portraits…don't know if that's appropriate or not. I mean, I was 18 when they were taken but you get what I'm saying 😛

    Feedback anyone?

  43. babygirl says:

    @Frayed Edges ur absolutely right finally created a new email
    I haven’t heard from him since I told him I didn’t have a personal email
    and to upload his pics somewhere like photobucket
    I’m not gonna email him my new email if he couldn’t do that something so simple to
    start with then that tells me all I need to know about him
    if he didn’t wanna do it he could’ve just replied saying no
    but who knows maybe another SB caught his eye
    I don’t mind chasing but I have a feeling this wasn’t meant to be

    @VillaCypris everything u said makes alot of sense
    thanks so much for the advice!

    @BrownSkinSugarBaby thanks for the feedback btw your blog has got me hooked the content is so funny! plz keep updating

    @Sherri Thanks so much for that info it was really helpful definitely plan to sign up this weekend

    Lovin this community 🙂

  44. Sugarbaby F says:

    Hello All!
    Being a newbie on the site I want to share with all of you, both pros and newbies alike, that I’ve finally gotten my SD!!! Yahoo!!! Went out on a meet and greet this past Monday and it was absolutely wonderful! He was very much a gentleman. Took me to dinner at the Hilton here in town, very chivalrous when I had truly dropped my cigarette case and bent down to retrieve it, his response was, “No! I’ve got it! You sit down!” and he picked it up and handed it to me. He even offered his arm to me when I walked up or down the myriad of staircases in the hotel where we had dinner in the very exclusive Executive lounge! While we walked he had his hand on my back gently guiding me, proffering his hand when the elevator door opened so I should proceed first. How wonderful is that! LOL! Incredibly gracious, I certainly never thought there were any of his kind left! A man with true manners! He sent me an email today and asked me to call him tomorrow and you bet I will! We did not discuss any financial arrangements during our date but I believe that is what we’ll be discussing when I call him tomorrow. It was especially wonderful as I found out we have many things in common, our love of history, books and many other things. We had a great conversation over dinner and really enjoyed each others’ company. Incidentally our age difference is quite a few years…he is 39 and I’m 51 and it’s great! So! don’t give up sugarbabies and sugardaddies! As so many have said before me patience is the key! Good luck to all! Riding on cloud 9…Sugarbaby F Yahoo!!

  45. BronzedBeauty says:

    JessRabbit generally you discuss the arrangement prior to meeting so there are no hurt feelings and time wasted! However all situations are different. I say talk to the guy. If he likes you then what you want is no issue. You have to be honest and upfront about what you want as most SD’s have no problem whatsoever telling you what they want! Just talk to him and let him know although you enjoy him and his time its time to talk $$$. If you are afraid of running him off keep spending time with him and building the relationship…but remember if he likes you there should be no problems. Also keep in mind the gifts you get, can they be returned, sold to someone else etc. There is always a way around what you need. My 1st SD used to buy me tacori all the time simply bc I said I liked it; I sold a few as I have enough not to miss them. So remember that when you are getting gifts. Do you really need 5 tiffany bracelets if you cant pay the rent, can someone else use that ferragamo bag, or those miu miu shades? Just remember that….

  46. BronzedBeauty says:

    lilshything just send some messages to guys that spark your attention and see where it goes. For your profile just be clear, well-spoken, and honest.

    For everyone else….

    I talked to my potential again this evening and I think I’m going to let him pass. He’s just waaaaaaaay too over the top for me. I’m not into just sitting around talking dirty every time I speak with someone. Also I cannot be with anyone who isnt into my pleasure as well. He wants me to be obedient which I can be but he says its not about my pleasure only his…boy is he wrong! I know some girls can get with that but I cant. I have to get some enjoyment out of it! I cant just lay there and get pounded and thats it lol. Man does that suck bc he was really cute!

  47. Sasha says:

    Brownskinsugarbaby, you are my hero! You give me hope that maybe just maybe there is a sd out there that will be into me and not the other way around.

    Carolinasugar…Im sorry to hear about this crazy stalker dude. I’ve been thinking very seriously myself about leaving the site. Unfortunately because of the lack of interest I seem to get. One thing that I have learned from this site is you have to know who you are as a person and be strong. If you dont, your self esteem and perspective on real world dating can be skewed.

    To everyone…sd’s and sb’s..take it from me. Anyone looking for acceptance from the opposite sex for whatever reason is heading down a road of disaster. You really do have to question yourself on why you are on a site like this and not a traditional dating site. This has been such a roller coaster of an experience for me. I’m learning that I can’t keep on waiting for others to tell me that I’m beautiful…I have to tell myself.

  48. JessRabbit SB says:

    Alright…first time blogger, but been on SA for about 2.5 months now…so, hello all! I have two questions for all of the experienced SB’s and SD’s out there…

    I’ve recently met a pot SD who turned out to be the real thing. To give you an idea: on our first date he spent over $20,000.00 on us both. GASP! This blew my mind, as first of all, I am very new to ‘Sugar Land’, and second of all, the other pot SD’s I’ve spent any time with turned out to be the usual frauds or just don’t understand the real concept behind all this… The best part is, this man is extremely attractive, intellectual, kind…the whole nine yards.

    Here’s where my dilemma lies: I am struggling to pay down various types of debt (nothing huge- in the $10,000 range) so that I can go back to school; and I also need a car for work, which I can’t afford to buy on my own right now, though I could afford to maintain one. This pot SD and I have not discussed $$$ at all– so he has no idea that what I’m really interested in is a monthly allowance.

    Don’t get me wrong: I loved our evening, and I loved my insanely over the top gifts, truly!!!! But I have more practical goals in life than I do a want for material items…

    He has asked me out again, and has offered to fly me to his summer home… I am excited and have said yes, of course; and while spending time with him is wonderful, I have no idea how to say what I really want.

    Sorry for how long this is… Advice from experienced SB’s – or SD’s! – would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

  49. lilshything says:

    I’m reminded daily of the things I don’t know and make it a point to learn one new thing every day ^_^ And I don’t think you all are old! No no, somedays I wish I was 30 so my looks wouldn’t be so…baby-ish. Don’t know how to explain it. But a lot of SBs are over 21 so I’m at a bit of a disadvantage.

    I’ve got my profile hidden at the moment, and nothing written on there. Like I stated before, I’m clueless to this all. This would be day 3 and I’m I’ll admit it – it’s intimidating and really beats on your self-esteem if you let it. Which I have a little. Just a little 😛

    I’m at that point where I have no clue where to start or look, I just (think) I’m in the right place

  50. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Red I am here! Now! Lol…timing is still quite off. I am going out of town for a few days so likely won’t be checking in much. Life has been crazy and busy and wonderful all at the same time 🙂 I have missed everyone here too – just not enough hours in the day to cover everything all the time y’know? Anyway – always love to stop by and say hi and *hope* to catch someone familiar 🙂 How are you Red??

  51. FrayedEdges says:

    Even in real life, we stumble upon those guys, so don’t think this is exclusive to SDs. I’m sorry this is happening to you. Give it time and maybe he’ll cool off in a few days — some people just don’t handle rejection well. I too have come across my fair share of JERKS and people just looking to take advantage of me because of my young age (and what they assume comes with it, naivete).

    Today, I too have have been feeling a little down. Met a local potential SD yesterday on a whim — it was clear that this guy was only looking to get ‘his’ and thought he could get me in bed in a matter of minutes of meeting just by the promise of some money. Seriously depressing! He said he had a past SB who one day vanished on him and their meetings only or mostly consisted of sex. So not what I’m looking for! Don’t really care if he’s attached, but I want the dates, the trips, the gifts, the attention… not wham-bam at an inn and some money thrown at me afterwards. It boggles me how many are confusing escorts with sugarbabes.

    I had to ‘block’ another guy who claimed to have fallen in love with me. Although I liked conversing with that guy, it was clear from day one that I wouldn’t be able to give him what he was looking for which was a serious commitment. No matter how many times I communicated that with him and he claiming to be fine if I wished to lead an independent life, what he immediately wanted was for me to move in with him and be his wife without the marriage contract. The worst thing is that he said that while he’d be content in picking up bills, sending me on the occasional shopping sprees and basically ‘taking care’ of everything, I wouldn’t be seeing any green. I’m not necessarily a gold digger, but I’m not looking to be entirely dependent on someone. I’m looking for someone who can help me maintain my independence if I’m making sense. Most of the times, I felt like what this guy wanted was put shackles on me and keep me away from other SDs. He’s a hopeless romantic and writing me poems a lot of times despite that I’ve made it more than clear that he’s not right for me. It comes a little close to stalking. Bitter taste in my mouth…

    Today I also finally cut the cord with another ‘SD’ I had been talking to and lately avoiding. This one was soft, handsome, frayed (lol) and I guess his emotional needs appealed to me. I didn’t mind being a friend to him and in a short time, we grew close. I genuinely cared about him as a person, still do. HOWEVER, he claimed to have been taken advantage of by past sugarbabes which I can believe because of his personality and he felt reluctant on bringing up the ‘financial assistance’ part DESPITE being on a SD site. We had been talking for a while and I brought up a small money emergency with him and unfortunately, couldn’t be my friend or rock in that aspect. What broke the camel’s back was him telling me all the time that he needed time to get comfortable, him feeling weird for being attracted to a 22-year old (apparently at 46 he’d never dated girls who were in their 20’s or 30’s), dragging his feet to make the smallest step and his hesitancy finally ended up pushing me away because I honestly felt that I was wasting my time. I honestly didn’t want to invest more time in whatever we had and for him to drop me once and for all because he decided I wasn’t for him. I like men to pursue me with something akin to aggression; a lot of times I was left with questions to ask myself because of his lagging attitude. Not to mention that he had no intention on dispensing sugar any time soon…apparently it’s not me, it’s those girls who ruined it for him. Not what I’m looking for at the moment… not to mention that many times after I talk to him, I’m reminded of why at times I like an alpha male. But I feel glum for telling him to look elsewhere.

    On top of this, all this and complicated family issues have made me neglect one potential date that I think is a real good guy. We haven’t had much zing though (could be that I’m comparing him to a past SD which I had an insane connection with), but in personality, seems to be a gem. Don’t want him to slip, but I’m just one of those girls who retreats into herself when she’s going through a funk. On another hand, I’ve been contacted by good potentials. One from UK (my first international) and another British currently living in Portugal — I wonder if anything will become of those? They’re not from this site though… I barely get an email a day from this site. I guess it’s because I’m not a premium member…lol.

    Anyway, just felt like unloading this off my chest. I do keep my sugardating life separate from my normal one for now… don’t really have anybody who i can talk about these matters to.

  52. RedMaru says:

    Whoa! You turn ya back for a couple hours and the fun happens without ya!

    CarolinaSugar – I hate to see ya go 🙁 Report this guy to SA if you can.
    Stalking and terrible messages is not what sugar is supposed to be
    Please stay!!!

    Hey TT – Where ya been? I’ve missed ya

    BrownSkinSugarBaby – Grats on your date hon! Also good that you have your sis as contingency plan. Keep us updated My contingency plan is my younger brother and my two three close friends who can get in a car in a minute.

  53. Carolina Sugar Baby says:

    You guys I can’t take this. I seriously picked up a weirdo. I mean this guys mental over rejection. And I have to leave. I was looking for a nice guy I got tired of frat boys and I mean omg! This guy is now stalking me and sending me terrible text messages!

    I have to leave. I met some nice girls. Guys not so much. This is crazy for me. I can’t live this lifestyle. I’m sorry.

    Thanks for the experience.

  54. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Hey sugar fam!!

    BrownSkinSugarBaby that sounds amazing! I do not post that much anymore but lurk here and there – will be sure to check back – eager to hear the update! 🙂

  55. Wow guys, just wanted to follow up and fill in on my SD pot dilema with the guy from NY. We had still been in contact. I actually stopped emailing him and was deciding to just “poof” on him. However, he emailed me back worried that he had said something wrong. Even after we had changed our arrangement agreement for this initial meeting, I decided that travelling back home to see him was probably an idea left in the clouds. However, for some reason, he seemed really sincere and concerned so I couldn’t do anything but give in.

    So I openly asked him SD Guru’s question of why me, a chick 2000+ miles away. He told me that since we had spoken on the phone he was just really intrigued by me, and had been interested from even our email conversation since day 1. In fact we really hit it off when we spoke on the phone, and each time since. He’s a gentleman, and he says what he wants, he hides nothing. He’s a real NY guy, he’s raw, I appreciate it because that’s how I am. He said he recently was involved with a SB who had in fact traveled in to see him from out of state, he took care of all of her travel expenses, arrangements, etc, everything in her name, confirmed and paid for. When they got closer she stayed with him. She enjoyed an allowance and more. He didn’t mind it because they hit it off, and she would come to see him 2x/month (every other week just about). I have the freedom to come and go as I please so I can easily head to NYC either every other weekend, or stay a full week at a time each month if I please. So for us both, distance is no issue. We decided to Skype and that was SUCH A GREAT IDEA! We got a chance to really speak face to face so to speak in our own environment. And we got a feel for each other in this way which is much better and more comforting than via phone or email. I got all of his info and ran a background check lol. He is in fact who he says he is, and no crazy questionables came up. We are going to Skype again this week a few more times, and continue to talk and email. I now feel very comfortable with him, and in fact, I’m now very confident in flying to NY to see him face to face.

    I will be staying with my parents, lol. And I told him my sister will have all of his contact info if he tries to kill me (I was jesting with him, he laughed… but she will *cough*). My family has no idea (except her) that not only am I dropping in to say hi, but to meet a potential SD, so this will be fun. We won’t spend every day and waking hour together, he does work of course. However we’ll enjoy dinner, theater/Broadway, and more, and I’m now ACTUALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT! Who woulda thunk! Lol. In any case, just wanted to share the follow up to that. He’s a good guy and we just clicked right away and continue to and I can’t wait to see him face to face.

    Empire State here I come!

  56. JA-PRINCESS says:


    holy smokes.
    i would have definately flew off the top at that one,,but maybe thats the jamaican in me.
    You definately showed restraint with that one,, i hope you’ve blocked and and x’ed him off the list , he sounds like wayy too much drama and internal issues..
    Your a sugarbabe
    not a therapist..

  57. sunshineee says:

    Thanks WCSD, that really helped me rationalize my approach on this site!

  58. pinky says:

    Well I sure feel ignored…

  59. Carolina Sugar Baby says:

    Well we’re through. He was too weird. Next.

  60. Carolina Sugar Baby says:

    Okay. Here’s more low-down…

    I talked to him again on the phone and this guy’s creepy! I mean how many guys out-right are gonna get creepy??? The most disturbing is him wanting me close and I don’t know if this is normal???? So I think I’m just going to “poof”.

    I mean I think I’m okay but he’s a clinger and creepy. So…”Next”

    And thanks to everyone who read.

  61. AliciaChanel says:

    Oh Ok! 🙂
    Thanks BronzedBeauty

  62. BronzedBeauty says:

    Alicia it should be ready by tomorrow afternoon sometime!

  63. I was on to say my Package arrived.. LV Papillion… whooo hoo…

    TexasSugah ~ Work that sugar magic chica, lol.

  64. HAHA @ BronzedBeauty. Well I AM old – 30 yrs old – but I’m super hot. Hotter than I was when I was in my 20s lol. So I embrace my oldness and never lie about my age, I prefer shocking people.

    Now lillshything, you are very young, man I think I barely remember 18, no wait, I do… First year of college, I was always extremely precocious like you when I was younger and much much ahead of my time. You know a lot, but still have a lot to learn, what I would say is to carefully judge character to decifer the real from the fake who will take advantage of your age. And if you have any questions whatsoever about any contacts definitely reach out to us here. We’ll give you the smack down truth. Nothing is more freeing than finding a SD by choice than by neccessity.

  65. AliciaChanel says:

    Hi I’m new here && so ready to start the adventure.
    How long does the profile & picture approval process usually last?

  66. BronzedBeauty says:

    Hi lillshything #1 I’m not old I’m 27 & very much a sexy lil thing. Lol

    The thing is you have to find that comfort level if its gonna work out for you. Men sd’s or not pick up on those things. You have to exude confidence. Our sa.com familia told me a few weeks ago no wallowing allowed. Once I became more confident in myself & what I have to offer I began getting emails. Only 1 a week or so but I think its good!

    At 18 you should be mapping out your life & havin as much fun as possible! Enjoy your youth & link up with ppl that will motivate you & such. There all SD’s that advise & mmentor as well not all of them are horny toads! The best thing I can say is do what makes you happy bc the world we live in will not think of you in the same way!

  67. Carolina Sugar Baby says:

    Texas Sugah! I love you!! That post helped me a lot. And I’ll go for an outting and if it isn’t worth it I’ll let him know. Congrats on your purse! I want one!!!

  68. BronzedBeauty says:

    Hey TexasSugah I’m originally from San Antonio but I’ve been gone 7 years. Now its time to party! Oh wait I tried & got food poisoning so I’m just gonna troll the gorgeous malls that await me. It is funny that he sent it by FedEx. Maybe he wanted 2 ensure u got it…but like u aid who cares. So the potential is actin really shy all of a sudden not like the bad boy he startedout to be 🙁 I intend on lettin him know I’m down with being dominated as long as he remains “sensitive” to the situation. Had an sd a few years back that could go & go & go but after awhile id be sahara desert dry bc he wasn’t that great. He wound up havin 2 kick in extra $$$ for all those nonpassion filled nights. Once I told him about it he actually started to take his time & feel me out & aquafina I became the whole way thru. But anyway I hope this new dom guy is as good as he makes himself out to be!!!

    @ carolina I’m with TexasSugah on this one. This guys story is just plain weird and full of holes. Id feel him out for a while & see what’s up with that. He may not be able to be your main pot but if he’s nice he could be more of a dinner dater lol

  69. lilshything says:

    Eep, I did a quick browsing of other SBs on SA and I figured out why I feel so out of place: most of you were graduating high school or were in college when I was born. If you’re wondering, I’m 18 🙂

    I have a small handful, a very small handful, of people I associate with who are under 21 and I’ve dated as old as 27 without it being a pervy thing — so it’s not that I’m unaccustomed to dealing with older people, in fact, it’s quite the opposite. I’ve never gotten along well with people (male or female) my own age since I was about 12 and realized that I made most of the kids in my classes feel stupid…:(

    Anyways, my question is, what should I do when I’m this young, but I know that I’m highly ambitious and plan on making the most of the next four years (and onward) of my life because I’ve spent high school accumulating about eight additional years worth of life experience that most people my age don’t have? I literally feel like I’m 18 going on 25 some days. I know what reality looks like at it’s bleakest, at it’s best, and everywhere in between – and even though I have my moments, I’m graceful, well-mannered and articulate just how my mother raised me to be. I’m extremely proud of -all- of my achievements, and it’s not all academic: I’m very well-rounded and have my wits about me in regards to general current events, politics, etc. so my conversation skills aren’t lacking. I know -exactly- what I want for my future, but I’m flexible enough to go wherever the flow wants to take me.

    And I’m healthy but not a health nut (don’t have time nor the money) – the zoftig athlete who isn’t overly toned and ultra slender (which is fine with me, I love the fact that I’m sexy-cuddly) – who (apparently) is very pretty, if not beautiful (I think I’m just like any other lady out there).

    So it’s all there…but I have nooooo clue if I’m just way to early to the game. Haha XD

    Gah, sorry for all my silly posts 🙁

  70. TexasSugah says:

    Ok.. one last question.. why did the bag come Fed Ex.. it’s new and wrapped from the store. Why didn’t he have them ship it?

    It doesn’t matter..

  71. TexasSugah says:

    Hey ya’ll…

    I was on to say my Package arrived.. LV Papillion… whooo hoo…

    Ok so now on to what I just read

    @Carolina – I’m confused.. he’s a Wall Street Broker and he’s keeping a professor’s garden? I don’t buy it. One I’m a lowly SB and I pay for a gardner to take care of my yard and so forth. NO BIG DEAL. No one needs someone to stay at their house to take care of the garden. What does he have grounds like Versailles?

    And Wall Street and making only 100K.. yes he’s young. I just don’t know. He’s right he can’t afford a girl who wants 600 pay for play. Not with what I understand rent/mortgage goes for. I could see going for a good time out, feel him out but don’t dump any pots over him.

    Wait.. he couldn’t meet anyone in the bars. Oh gee.. it’s one thing to say “I wanted a higher quality woman that I would find in the bars” vs. “I couldn’t find anyone”. Not getting good vibes.

  72. WCSD says:

    Sunshineee – I don’t think it is. Mainly because SD’s lie about their net worth. Some state it is higher, and some state it lower (they don’t want people to know what they are worth). And in the end, it is irrelevant, it really just depends on their available spending money. Which also makes yearly income irrelevant. If someone makes $1 million, but has $999K in expenses, they can’t really be a sugar daddy, while someone making $200K with $2K in expenses can do quite well.

    In the end, you need to just talk to the pot you are interested in, know what you want, and decide whether he is able to provide it for you.

  73. sunshineee says:

    So, I’ve been lurking around here for a while, but have yet to comment! So, here’s my first post! I have a question…I’ve been approached by a series of SD’s who’s networth is not exactly appealing and/or ideal for the lifestyle I have in mind. My question is…is an SD’s networth a good indicator of how generous he will be?

  74. Carolina Sugar says:

    Sorry I haven’t been around you guys. Miss ya!

    Happy birthday Soaring!!!

    Bronze I love Dallas, I’ve only been to Dallas but I would like to see more of Texas!! I hope you love it!!

    You guys know I always got a question!! So here goes it….

    The guy I’m planning on meeting is young(34) and a sweet guy who seems to want a normal gf/bf relationship. And I mean that’s cool but nothing about allowance or gifts/shopping just wants me to travel a bit. I’m going to have a coffe date and maybe a trip to a museum or a movie but I will be driving seperately and I don’t want him to know my tag number. 🙁

    He wants to know everything about me and he’s said he’s here for a booty call but he wants something more. He has even said if things go right he wants it to lead to more. Like marriage, yikes! He even asked about what age I wanted to marry and how many kids I wanted. He told me how many kids he wanted. He finally got a premium membership and could send messages. I found out he’s staying at a professors house while he’s (the professor) in Ireland to look after a garden. His profile states he was a Wall Street broker. His profile states his annual income as $100,000-$175,000.

    We’ve talked on the phone and he mentioned that this was prostitution and got upset because one SB wanted $600 every meet. So what do you guys think???

    I mean he sounds really nice but I figure he could find the same on Match.com. He said he couldn’t find a girl in bars so he resorted to SA. So should I say, “NEXT!!”

    Any input is greatly appreciated!

    Thanks to everyone who reads!

    Sorry for the long post!

  75. pinky says:

    hey guys.

    Second time posting on this blog. I love how warm, helpful and kind all of you are. Fortunately I have a close friend who understands what I do that I can be open with, but for those who have to keep thier SD/SB relationship hidden from their love ones this blog must be a safe haven for them.

    I have been on this site for about 2 months. Actually being part of this lifestyle made me realise that it isn’t that simple finding the right SD. I have one right now, but I’m not too happy with the amount he is giving me, the funny thing is he thinks it is a lot. I know I agreed, but with the agreement it would change. Now I’m wondering when that change will come, because I really want more cash. I find it hard to discusss money with him because he keeps mentioning how happy he is I’m not all about the money blah blah. Another thing is, he is a real sweet guy who actually cares for me. It isn’t like I can’t ask him for money if I’m broke, I know he will gladly give it to me, even though it is more than we agreed upon. However, I want a set amount each month that is suitable so I don’t keep coming back to him when I spent what he gave me.

    I know he really likes me cause I’m the first girl he found on the site he kept as a SB. What really sucks is that I’m quite dependent on him, so leaving him is not an option unless I find someone immediately. He also provides security so I know he will not poof unless he knows I’m okay financially. I made a mistake to get dependent on him. Sooo confused now.

  76. TexasSugah says:

    Howdy ya’ll…

    Bronzed – Dag girl.. Simply because I would end up breaking teeth (hey you’re packing heat.. welcome to Texas babe), I would want to know how much he’s coming of off? Now I like dominant men. My Latino pot is macho and I love it but… I dunno, that sounds a little rough.

    BTW.. I’m waiting on a LV bag that supposed to be on a Fed Ex truck.. GEEZ.. it’s killing me!

    Say has anyone talked to Lisa? I haven’t heard from her either. WORRIED..

    @Artist – where are you? I understand about the wary deal. There’s a guy who’s supposedly in the UK who wants to be a Sugar Daddy to me. He’s American just working there, so he says. I’ve been burnt on this kinda mess before so……

    Happy Bday – Soaring!!!!!

  77. SweetSugar says:

    All I know is I keep telling myself, “the ones than win are the ones who NEVER give up!”
    So with that constantly in the back of my head, I have not given up just because some guys are jerks, creeps, poofs, fakers, etc….If I never give up eventually I will find a real Sugar Daddy.

  78. artist says:

    I decided today this world isn’t for me. I mean the Sugar Daddy world, I don’t want none of ya’ll thinking I’m trying to do away with my prettylicious self!

    I have mucho respect for anyone who can get what they are looking for but maybe this isn’t my path you know? I’m meeting men who bore me, who are disrespectful about what I’m after, who are ignorant and who let the money go to their heads. I’d rather slave and sell 20 paintings to get that Miu Miu purse I’ve been lusting after then have to pretend to listen and care about dog vomit spewing out of the mouth of some “rich man” who thinks i’m good for a lay.

    Truth, I will run into the same kind of guys out there in the “real world” but perhaps this is the opportunity I need to think about my direction. Combined with the fact that i’m beyond international with my location so any DECENT human being I meet is wary of me, well it’s too much.

    So ya’ll keep keeping on. I’ve got some paintings to sell.

  79. Rae 481024 says:

    Im getting impatient lol so im trying MutualArrangements anyone try that? Im just getting really restless, kinda discouraged and rejected. lol

  80. Rae 481024 says:

    ps. try and get your sd to take you and friends to vegas.. its worth a try? 😀

  81. Rae 481024 says:


  82. Sasha says:

    happy birthday soaringsparrow! Dont do anything that I wouldn’t do…which would leaves alot…ha ha. Thanks everyone for the great advice. I’m taking guru sd’s advice and I’m gonna pursue the 50mil sd one more time. I really liked his words and I wanna fight for him. Wish me good luck.

  83. lilshything says:

    @SDGuru & WCSD: Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it. It’s nice to know I’m not running with my gears totally in the wrong shift. I backed away from the computer for a bit and focused my attention elsewhere and decided that I really don’t have anything to be ashamed of, I know who I am and why I’m pursuing being an SB, so I shouldn’t beat myself over the head with a metaphorical frying pan for being personally ambitious AND wanting to meet someone whom I can learn from. I’m definitely going to keep up with the buzz around here 🙂

    @soaringSparrow: Happy birthday! I hope the rain lets up a bit so it’s not so gloom-n-doom outside

    Alright, I think I’m going to go check out Lily’s blog. Thanks for lifting my spirits a bit 🙂

  84. Miss Conduct says:

    Hi everyone…

    My first time posting, second time here(second time in two months) (I’m basing the said below on when I had a different profile with a pic – had to leave the site when someone got nasty as I rejected his advances (I think he was a fake).

    Is it me or are UK guys less into the arrangement thing than those in the US? I’m seeing posts on here where people have dates in a row lined up with pot SD’s…

    Most of the guys I’ve spoken to from the UK really don’t seem that interested in ‘an arrangement’ when it comes to it. It’s like they just want to meet for one thing only – a girlfriend for casual encounters…like a call girl…I suppose there are more men in the US…and I suppose UK isn’t the most popular place for men with money (that’s genuine not fake) to be?

    Seems I get to emailing and then they change their minds when they realise I’m not some pay as you go – I like to know people are who they say they are and that I’m looking for something ongoing…still not to give up I suppose…

    Anyone else find this?

  85. BronzedBeauty says:

    AAAAAwwwww happy birthday SoaringSparrow! Best wishes and I give you permission to behave extra badly!

  86. BronzedBeauty says:

    My oh my have I missed so much! Miss me guys?!?!?! LOL.

    I have been MIA bc I finally completed my move from VA to TX and boy was it a looooooooong move! Low and behold I come back to the blog to find you guys behaving so very naughty!

    Well being that I’ve been on for a month or so now I am excited that I have 2 potentials in the works! Both really nice guys but one very shy and timid. I hope to turn him into something wild!

    Any way here is the question (of course I didnt just come to say hi)! So my 1st is dominant type whom wants me to be obedient and obey my daddy! He’s into very rough sex, gagging me with his unit, spanking of course, and pretty much whatever else it is he wants!

    Has anyone ever been in this type of arrangement??? I pack heat so I’m not afraid or anything like that he’s a really nice guy! I just want to know how did this work out for my fellow sweeties?

    He wants to be in total control but I sure wouldn’t mind smacking him around a bit!

  87. SD Guru: You need a part time job on one of those river boat tours! I live in Wicker Park and I def have partaken in most of those activities! lol. Not blue anymore, totally feeling the love and def gonna enjoy the day even if it IS raining and gross.

    Thanks guys for the bday wishes.

  88. WCSD says:

    Lilshy – I think you are actually better off than others on this site. For starters you don’t seem desperate for money, which as has been stated above, SD’s can see from miles away.

    Second, wanting to actually like your SD is a good thing (in my opinion, a very good thing).

    You really just need to get a little thicker skin. Unfortunately there are a lot of rude people in the world, and being online it seems to be that people are a littler bolder in being an a$$hole because they don’t need to say it to someone’s face. Just remember, they are just a loser, sitting home alone on his computer.

    As for stating what you want, Lily is a very good resource to help out on that one, and might be able to help out. But keep your head up, you are on the right track, and someone will sweep you off your feet soon enough.

  89. SD Guru says:


    It’s been said that one of the prerequisites of being in the sugar world is to have thick skin. And I’d add to that by saying, you can’t control what other people say or do, all you can control is how you react to them.

    For you and every SB’s that have described how they were shocked by what other people said or did, keep in mind it’s their problem, not yours. Be confident, know what you want and go after it, and don’t let other people hold you back.

    I’m sure others will jump in with more advice for you. It will take time to get comfortable in the sugar world. So take your time, listen to the advice, be patient and persistent, and you’ll get there!


    Why the blues on your bday?? You’re in Chicago, so go out to celebrate and enjoy everything the city has to offer, even if you just do it by yourself. For example, check out “Tuesdays at the Terrace” for free jazz concerts at the MCA, or fireworks at the Navy Pier tomorrow night. The city is full of festivals and outdoors activities in the summer, like Taste of Chicago, Venetian Nights, Summerfest, etc. Even Wicker Park has its own festival. I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. So get your butt out there and enjoy yourself!

  90. lilshything says:

    I feel so bloody silly! 🙁 I feel like I’m running about in circles and have no clue where I started or whether I’m coming or going. Right now I’m kicking myself for having the reaction I did to that message, I’m so young and it’s hard enough for people to take me seriously without me breaking resolve at an off-the-cuff, poorly phrased but neutrally intended comment. I suppose if he was worth my time or anyone else’s in the first place he would’ve approached that message very, very, very differently instead of being…well, rude about it. Or I thought it was rude. I obviously have no clue what I’m doing, cut me some slack >_<

    I think I'm also struggling with whether or not I'm compromising who I am by admitting that yeah, I really would like someone to help me out with my rent and tuition. That would be awesome. But I'm not materialistic and that's not the first thing I'm going to look for in a pot SD either? I have a general idea of what I want, NO clue how to state it.


  91. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    LilShyThing – come back out from that hole right now! Do not let anyone exercise influence over you like that!

    There is a lot of smart people here who cam give great advice. My advice is for you to listen to them.

    SDGuru? SuperLily? This is one for you.

  92. lilshything says:

    Actually, nevermind…I just got a message from someone and it really sort of shocked me back into my hole. ‘maybe you should try e-harmony or match.com’

    so if I’m under the age of 30, I have to only be interested in the material shit – I basically have to only care about shopping and being a ditz? I like interesting people. I find how people made success for themselves fascinating, too. I have a brain. I know what I want in life. I guess this was the wrong avenue to try and fix my problem.

  93. SD Guru says:


    He said he wants to be an SD because he’s looking to change someone’s life dramatically. He stated that he’d like someone to look back and say “my life changed the day I met “anonymous”. He did have 3 previous long-term SD/SB relationships in the past where he paid for their housing/condos, shopping sprees, and school. He did mention where one SB, not included in the 3, stopped contacting him after he bought her a condo.

    This is where you need to put your BS detector to good use and look for inconsistencies in whatever he tells you and probe further. Donating to charities or having a girlfriend could change someone’s life too, so what other reasons does he have for choosing sugar relationship instead of regular dating? Would someone supposedly as experienced and as generous as he is be acting like a wussy for not getting laid after the first date? Something just doesn’t pass the smell test!


    I feel like I should take what I can get because I’m not getting alot of emails at all. Is it better to put what you are looking for upfront on your profile or just keep it open? I just can’t afford right now to scare any potential sd’s away.

    It can be a tough call between taking what you can get and go after what you really want. You should always make your decision from a position of strength. Meaning, don’t make a decision because you have to, but because you want to.

    I just had my first 50million dollar sd contact me and show interest after I sent him an email first. He asked for my number and I gave it to him a couple days ago. He hasn’t called. Should I write him back again or just assume that he found someone else.

    If he’s really a “50 million dollar” SD then he’s probably very busy with lots of pot SB’s to choose from. It’s up to you to differentiate yourself from others. Don’t assume anything. If you want something then you’ve got to ask for it and go after it.

  94. lilshything says:

    Hi everyone…I originally wasn’t going to post a comment but I figured it wouldn’t hurt. I have a very, very, very big problem. I didn’t really sign up on here because I like getting gifts or anything, I did it to help break a social anxiety that seems to screw up every attempt I have at ‘traditional’ relationships on the advice of a friend. I was in a long term (long distance) relationship for several years with a gent who was 4 years my senior (though, now I realize I was the more mature party) and his family was -very- well off. I never felt comfortable being with him, when he would get me things or tell me about how he wished he could take me out places…and when he finally convinced me that I was, in fact, worth being taken out to dinner to somewhere other than Mickey D’s, it all blew up. I know I shouldn’t care what other people think, but his -best friend- told him that I was ‘taking advantage of him’ and using him…which I wasn’t. Ever since I’ve been a paranoid wreck about the littlest things — I mean, no girl should cry two weeks before Valentine’s Day because she’s afraid to tell the man she cares about what kind of flowers are her favourite. I finally got the courage up and broke it off a year ago because I finally realized it was all take and no give – but the problem still persists.

    I know I probably sound really immature and silly, but I don’t know if it’s wrong of me to be using this as a way to get over feeling like I don’t deserve to be treated well. Rationally, I know I do, but it’s the psyche of it that’s killing me.

    Any advice?

  95. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugarfam! Hows everybody today!

    Dont laugh everybody but I got Pokemon Soul Silver and I’m actually enjoying it. Its got this cute little pedometer in the shape of a Pokeball that you load a Pokemon from the game card into and you can carry the pedometer with you when you walk and track your steps and turn them into points for neat stuff the wonders of technology.

    Happy B-Day to you SoaringSparrow and many more. Enjoy your day
    and party well! 😀 😀

  96. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Happy happy happy birthday SoaringSparrow!! Make sure it’s a great one.

  97. its my birthday 🙁 Im 26 and i think i found a grey arm hair. Scouting bridges today fml.

    LadyIntim google those words in Chicago later tonight. L-/

  98. Kuuks says:

    Hey sugar family, i just joined….cant seem to be able to load a photo though…Mine all seem to be in jpg format :-(……On top of that, am sugarless *sob*sob*

  99. LadyIntim says:

    I know I keep asking this, but I seriously wonder what the heck happend to Lisa. I actually googled the words intersection, Texas, and suicide the other day in hopes to not discover my worst suspecions.

  100. LadyIntim says:

    Sasha, I know this is frustrating, but you have to keep on prowling. It has been my experience that if an SD didn’t respond or contact you again it is because he got distracted by other SBs. It’s really your call. You won’t be loosing anything by reminding him of yourself, which is perfectly fine, but chances are that if he didn’t keep the momentum going right there and then, you will never recover him back. Besides, the only type of SD you want and that will stick around and provide you with what you need is the kind of Daddy that is more interested in you than you are in him. I know this sounds harsh, but believe me, in sugar relationships, you want to be the 40% and not the 60. He has to lust after you and chase after you, which is why the safest way to ensure you will have him wrapped around your finger is to sit back and let the e-mails roll in. Sometimes you will get a couple e-mails the whole week, but there are also times that justify the saying “when it rains, it pours.” Have faith. I did want to add to my previous comment that if after a month or so you notice that your noted allowance bracket is not working, perhaps it is time to review your strategy. I’m not sure how long you’ve been on this site, but I sense that you are relatively new…and so my recommendation to you is to be patient. It sounds like guys are contacting you, just not as many as you would like. But Sasha, girl, good things come in small packages.

  101. Sasha says:

    ok, thanks ladyintim. I will hang tight. This is hard because I’m getting frustrated, but I rather have quality than quantity. One more question that is bothering me tonight. I just had my first 50million dollar sd contact me and show interest after I sent him an email first. He asked for my number and I gave it to him a couple days ago. He hasn’t called. Should I write him back again or just assume that he found someone else. Also why does this seem to keep happening to me?

  102. LadyIntim says:

    In addition, an SD who complains about being ditched after buying someone a condo probably isn’t exactly your best bet. First of all, something tells me that he very well might be lying, and using it as a strategy to prove to you that he is in fact capable financially. On the other hand, even if he is telling the truth then I really question how he was able to generate and maintain his fortune…as he must be King Dufus for real.

  103. LadyIntim says:

    OK, tons of typos on my end as always but I hope I got the point across.

  104. LadyIntim says:

    Sasha, I don’t think you should lower your standards and go for “whatever you can get.” I understand where you are coming from, and have had some struggles myself in the past, but SDs smell desperate from miles away. You don’t want to come off that way. If your current situation allows you to do so, I would recomment you hang tight. You will come to find out that if you have patience, you will score far more with one quality SD than a bunch of rif-ruffs. At least that’s been my experience and I have been on and off this site for 2 years now and currently hold 2 main SDs who finance my lifestyle in totality. In our previous blog discussion many legitimate SDs stated that a true SB shouldn’t be on this website because she is in the middle of a serious crisis and desperately needs rescuing. Such urgency puts a great deal of pressure on the SD and can potentially scare them far quicker than your higher allowance bracket.

  105. Sasha says:

    Wow…I’m so amazed by your upfront nature, brownskinsugarbaby. I always thought that if I guy see’s that you are asking for so much upfront, he would pass right by your profile. Now I find that on the off chance I get an email from a sd, he’s not offering anything close to what I’m looking for. I feel like I should take what I can get because I’m not getting alot of emails at all. Is it better to put what you are looking for upfront on your profile or just keep it open? I just can’t afford right now to scare any potential sd’s away.

  106. jen(462031) says:

    SD Guru – Yes.

    He said he wants to be an SD because he’s looking to change someone’s life dramatically. He stated that he’d like someone to look back and say “my life changed the day I met “anonymous”. He did have 3 previous long-term SD/SB relationships in the past where he paid for their housing/condos, shopping sprees, and school. He did mention where one SB, not included in the 3, stopped contacting him after he bought her a condo.

  107. SD Guru says:


    On the phone, he said he was not one to beg or ask to be kissed, that all he was looking for was to be wanted and a part of each other’s lives, but when we met, all he did was whine and literally cry a bit when he didn’t get that sumthin’ sumthin’.

    Would someone who whines and cries make a good SD? Don’t think so. He sounds like a wussy who doesn’t know how to handle NSA. Did you ask him the 2 basic questions I posted earlier?

  108. LadyIntim says:

    Jen, I am absolutely stunned at the lack of self-control that person had. Your exchange clearly demonstrates that he has major problems, most likely had a really tough childhood or something, and embodies a very sad, little, insecure man. By no stretch is he an SD and it is clear that you are not the first one he did this to. He must lurk on SA preying on young beatiful women like yourself, hoping to break you down piece by piece. Disguasting. You are sweet by trying to reason with him, but it really wasn’t worth your effort. In all reality, this person is clearly incapable of love and respect. He is missing out on a lot in life and You can’t convince someone like that that he needs to change his way of thinking-no one can. Very disturbing.

  109. SD Guru says:


    Do you know NYCSB blog address offhand?

    Scroll up to find NYC SB’s last post, then click on her handle and it will take you to her blog.


    The first part means that the SD should be ready to offer at least half an allowance before intimacy. The second part means that if you’re unable to relax and see that money leave your hands without a guarantee of physical gratification, he’s nor sugar dating, he’s trying to get the most bang for his buck as a PJ (volume discount buyer.)


    I’m not the one you need to convince. Since you came back from the trip disappointed, I’m trying to understand the possible causes for your disappointment. Whether he is a PJ or not is between you and him.

    My question was whether your expectations, as you described above, were clearly discussed and understood by your pot SD before the trip. If he agreed with your expectations, then why did it still turn out to be a disappointment? If you didn’t discuss your expectations with him, then why not?

  110. SweetSugar ~ to me that means $5000-10,000/month. It’s a hard economy now so I normally would request in the middle of that and work up or down from there depending on whom I’m dealing with and his situation. I’d never accept less than $5K. I tend to prefer a SD that I can have an ongoing connection with whom I can see often. In addition, I request to travel 1st class and have all expenses paid, and the allowence does not include gifts or shopping. I normally request this without blinking or being sorry about it. But NY women tend to be pretty gutsy, lol.

    Asya ~ I think really it’s all very much personally based. Some women get a million emails, some get 1. On this site you have to be somewhat agressive at times to sift through the BS and get to a SD who is worth your time. Just because you may be getting a million emails/day it doesn’t mean you’re getting a million CHOICE emails. I get a good number of emails, not on a daily basis, but enough to be fortunate enough to receive emails from men who are very serious about spending time with me and getting to know me, and compensate me well for being their SB. So now the only thing left is to choose who will be the best fit for me. I get less in #s because I spell out what I want and what kind of relationship I’m looking for, however I get far more quality men in a higher income bracket than I did when I first started on the site. Ones who think my above requests are “reasonable” and don’t even flinch nor argue.

  111. Asya says:


    Sorry about the jerk. Like any type of dating, you got to weed through the jerks to find a good one. Just don’t let it discourage you and just be patient. The tips people give here will only help you in detecting the B.S. and games that pot SDs will play.

    You’re are lovely with a great profile that actually gives a person insight to you. I wish some SBs could take a cue from your profile and give a little more info on themselves in terms of what their interests and personality are like. Pictures certainly don’t hurt, but a profile will either grab my attention or have me saying “Next!”.

  112. Asya says:

    Welcome Kitty:

    “I would only be interested in someone who contacts me, not me doing the chasing LOL! One thing that I don’t like and I have contacted “SA” is the dudes with no Profile pictures. I informed them they should have and added feature if wether “you as an individual” would like your picture displayed for someone to view it who does not have a picture profile. In other words those who don’t have a legitmate profile picture should not be allowed to view anyones profile..After all we are paying..It can be done and should be an option. I have just joined this site at the end of May. ”

    People might not have profile pictures for a few reasons. If they’re married or for privacy concerns (businessmen/entrepreneurs that don’t want to hurt their business and may be known), they may not want to expose themselves.

    As for SBs not contacting SDs, how common is this? I know the ratio is highly in the favor of the SD and those who are truly SDs (with at least a nice net worth/income) will have a lot of women to choose from. And to be honest, time is limited to browse and contact all the profiles. I say that if you find a profile, why not contact (or at least add them to your favorites) them?

  113. Lily says:

    Just don’t go anywhere in private w/ someone you don’t know & trust reasonably well.

  114. Rae 481024 says:

    im not afraid of guys asking me that, it always happens. But its the fact they might take it without my consent that scares me.

  115. Kitty says:

    Lose the looser Jen! He is only after one thing.

  116. Jade says:

    If a man wants you to sleep with him first date than more often than not he knows he will never see you again! He is trying to rush things while he has you around. Most one night stands are just that, most men will respect you more if you wait .

  117. Lily says:

    Jen, that is so typical!!!
    Sorry he was such a little bratty baby about wanting to unwrap all the goodies on the first meet.

  118. Sasha says:

    Hey everyone. I’ve been on the site for a while and haven’t done well at all. I thought I should blog and start to get to know people in sugarland. I have read so many comments from all the bloggers and I’m absolutely amazed about some sb’s and the experiences they have had. Allowances, gifts….I can only dare to dream. I thought that I was an intelligent attractive woman that could get older well off men to notice, but I never get any emails from men. What the HELL are you sb’s out there doing that I’m not doing?

  119. jen(462031) says:

    Wow I love all the advice and humor on here.

    What about physical intimacy?

    When should that start? There was one SD who started getting frustrated with me during our “1st date” because I didn’t want to have sex with him that day. It had only been a few hours since we’ve met. On the phone, he said he was not one to beg or ask to be kissed, that all he was looking for was to be wanted and a part of each other’s lives, but when we met, all he did was whine and literally cry a bit when he didn’t get that sumthin’ sumthin’.

  120. SweetSugar says:

    What do you consider to be a moderate to high amount allowance, gifts, and travel in an exclusive arrangement?

  121. Jade says:

    Sometimes guys joining these sugar daddy sites think it means they are the king and get to boss all the servants around. They have no idea how to be a sugar daddy, they just figure that is how things go. Man in charge syndrome.

  122. Lily says:

    SD Guru- The first part means that the SD should be ready to offer at least half an allowance before intimacy.
    The second part means that if you’re unable to relax and see that money leave your hands without a guarantee of physical gratification, he’s nor sugar dating, he’s trying to get the most bang for his buck as a PJ (volume discount buyer.)


  123. Bravo SD Guru once again, an amazing post. Those 3 questions are SO important, knowing exactly what you need and want really takes the pressure out of the entire relationship. And being confident enough to be able to state it openly knocks out those who are not on the same page as you. Sugar dating is such an amazing experience, once you get the swing of it, and you find someone you vibe well with, it’s an absolutely rewarding experience for all involved.

  124. RedMaru says:

    SD Guru – Bravo! 😀 You hit the nail on the head in IMHO. Do you know NYCSB blog address offhand?

  125. SD Guru says:

    Ok, back on topic about the newbies…

    One of the most common problem I found with newbie SB’s is that they are not clear about what kind of sugar they’re looking for and what they’re able to offer in return. As the saying goes, if you don’t know what you’re looking for then you probably won’t be able to find it.

    Every newbie SB should be able to answer 3 simple questions about herself:

    (1) Why have you chosen to pursue a sugar relationship instead of a traditional relationship? (saying I saw it on Tyra doesn’t count!)

    (2) What would you like your SD to provide for you? (don’t say “show me the money!”)

    and most importantly,

    (3) What can you offer in return? (think about what sets you apart from other SB’s).

    Once you have a clear understanding of how to answer these 3 questions and can articulate it to pot SD’s, then you’re well on your way to finding what you’re looking for. Take a look at NYC SB’s blog for a great example of how to answer these questions.

    First two questions every newbie SB should ask her pot SD:

    Question #1 – Why do you want to be a SD?

    How sugar dating differs from regular dating is the “sugar” aspect of the
    relationship. After all, people are looking for a SD or SB for a reason, otherwise they should be on regular dating sites. Find out what that reason is and see if you have similar views and expectations.

    Question #2 – What’s been your experience with this type of relationship?

    If the answer to #2 is “none”, then ask “How do you envision this
    type of relationship to work?”

    Newbie SB’s should determine whether it’s a good idea to get involved with a newbie SD. IMO at least one of the parties should be experienced in order to have a better chance for success.

    If the answer to #2 is “experienced”, then ask “What kind of arrangement did you have with your previous SB?”

    There is no need to go into the specifics initially, but you should get a general idea of what was involved to see if it’s similar to your expectations.

    When to bring up the topic of sugar?

    As previously discussed, a sugar relationship could be whatever two people can agree on as long as the sugar brings “value” to both parties. As to when to bring this up, I don’t think there is anything wrong with asking about sugar early in the process by either the SD or SB. Unlike normal dating, you shouldn’t leave things open ended and see what happens, otherwise the process could drag on without any tangible results. If there is no travel involved, maybe you can discuss sugar when you meet in person. But if there is travel involved, then you should have a clear understanding of what each other’s expectations are before making travel arrangements.

    I understand some people may misrepresent themselves, so there is an issue of trust and respect as well. Do you think the pot you’re talking to can be trusted and has respect for you? That’s a judgment call each person will have to decide for themselves.

    I hope this helps all the newbies out there. Feel free to agree or disagree with what I wrote and I hope we’ll have a constructive discussion in the blog.

  126. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Jen – don’t take that kind of crap from anyone. If anybody starts that kind of crap AT ALL, walk, and do it immediately.

    Btw you have great pictures and profile! You will do fine – you are very clear about who you are and what you want. You will find somebody eventually. But there are a lot of frogs out there, and I think you just found one!!

  127. Rae 481024 says:

    @Jen lol. Ikr. If i found that guy.. itd be on. lol and theyre right YOURE SO CUTE! And at least that jerk KNOWS youre exotic. lol

    @Artist are you trying to say youre having problems finding someone suitable inside your own country? Because yes, America does hold most of the eligible ones. Im from Canada so i can talk to a couple americans without making them travel too far. But if you find an American whos willing on paying for your plane ticket to America or maybe both of you going to another country together, maybe that might work. Guys on here are always saying they like to travel so tell them you want to start a talking only starting relationship[on the phone, email, texts whatever] and then as you get closer maybe hell fly to you, or fly you to him or fly you both somewhere else. 🙂

  128. sugarbarbie says:

    jen – that reminds me of mcdonalds guy the other day. after saying i was an escort for refusing a first date act mcdonalds and all that bashing, he sent me another message saying “I know this is going to sound crazy but I miss you” Yeah crazy sums it up.

  129. SD Guru says:


    You do indeed have to be very creative in your case, but I’m sure you’re up to the challenge! Keep in mind intimacy can take on many different forms, not just physical and sexual.


    Obviously the guy you had the convo with is not a SD. Did you find him on sa? If so then you should report him to the site. Common sense and common courtesy should apply in any situation, sugar or not.

    I don’t see anything in your profile that would have attracted such a loser. The only thing I’d suggest is that you should have stopped right after the first im that you posted. Your response of “what are you offering?” probably sent the wrong message and gave him an opportunity to go off on you. But there is still no excuse for what happened. Were there other im’s prior to what you posted?

    What does an SB say to an SD who wants to be the only one she see’s?

    Sounds like he probably wants a girlfriend, not a SB.

  130. You say PONY UP ($$$)! LOL.

    No seriously, you have to be honest with yourself and where you are in your own life. Do YOU want an exclusive arrangement? If so, is he also implying that you are going toward a LTR, or is he looking for an NSA relationship? You need to know where you stand about getting your feelings involved because for some people that kind of situation can lead to more than just a SB/SD relationship, it’s natural. I would accept this kind of agreement from a man for sure if I was REALLY into him, if our personalities clicked, if we are mutually sexually attracted to each other (that’s a huge one for me), and if I can seriously say to myself, yes this guy is worth shunning all others. I’m at a point in my life where I don’t want a traditional relationship but again, this is not a typical agreement. The other important thing for me in an exclusive SD arrangement is that he would have to settle for a moderate to high allowance, gifts, and travel. If I’m exclusive, I’m your queen and should be treated as such (as I know for sure I’ll make him feel like King of the World). And finally I’d expect for him to be exclusive too, or else it’s like he has you on a leash while he’s free to play. Not cool.

    Just be sure that he fully understands what your needs are in that kind of arrangement and that there is NO reneging on it. The moment he does you need to bring it up and make sure he understands you will not be low balled down the line. Never be afraid to walk away.

  131. Nora says:

    Hey artist, I’m new to this all and I’m not living in the US and I’m (hopefully) meeting my first pot SD (who is from the US) next Monday as he is on a business trip in Europe, which is where I am. There are a few pot SD in the UK…it seems though that the most come from NYC…please don’t give up…we can be in this together 🙂 I think it would be difficult (impossible) to see someone on a regular basis…I guess it depends on what you are looking for as well. What area of the world are you from? Are there any more SB/SD out there not from the US?

  132. jen(462031) says:

    BrownSkinSugarBaby + all SB’s – What does an SB say to an SD who wants to be the only one she see’s?

    SweetSugar – hahaha and he says he’s not butthurt

  133. SweetSugar says:

    That man is probably an serial killer writting to you from inside the slammer!

    Holey F&@#$ing hell!!!!

  134. artist says:

    well i’m assuming the majority of people on here are living in the U.S. So i’m speaking about sugars who aren’t U.S. based. is it difficult for you? I’m trying to find quality and potentials where i live but it’s really hard. I’m trying to apply everything I’m learning to my situation but it’s gotten to the point where I’m about to give up and I don’t think it makes sense to even try starting something with an American…

  135. jen(462031) says:

    VillaCypris – Thanks I feel so much better and I’ll continue to stay optimistic

    Rae – I wish I had someone like you to slap men like that for me 🙂

  136. Wow Jen, well that’s just nuts. That was way out of line, and it’s clear his intentions are not to be a sugar daddy but instead to get a cheap thrill with no intentions of giving anything.

    As stated, a true SD is a RESPECTABLE man. He respects himself and respects you and will treat you the way you should be, like a woman. I would have left that conversation after he started stating how he expected you to meet him for a BJ for free none-the-less. He didn’t even ask you out to dinner, figure out if there is any chemistry, see if either you or he is attracted to each other OFF of the internet.

    You’re much better off without. That IS NOT how it goes in ANY WAY.

  137. VillaCypris says:

    @ English Amy –

    I think it was SD Guru who made the point that it’s best to be very *clear* as to what it is you seek in an ‘arrangement’.

    You can be as *picky* as you like and only search out those who meet the criteria that you seek. Never have “low standards”… why settle for less than what you want?

  138. VillaCypris says:

    Rae – if you’re looking at my profile, for example, at the very end is a series of 6 numbers. To see Jen’s profile, replace my numbers with hers, and you should be able to see her profile!

  139. Rae says:

    No problem Jen. 🙂 He was a dbag. No one deserves to be spoken to like that. Except him. lol

  140. Rae says:

    how did you see her profile? I cant see anyones profile from here.. well except yours lol and VillaCyprus’s

  141. VillaCypris says:

    @Jen –

    never doubt yourself! Especially in the face of such blatant disrespect.

    You’re a beautiful woman and have a very well-written profile. You will attract someone who will appreciate you for you. Have patience and believe that it will happen. In the meantime, I hope you have no more encounters with men such as the one you described.

  142. jen(462031) says:

    Thanks Rae, VillaCypris, and RedMaru. I really doubted myself for a minute. I thought SD’s acted like gentlemen and were respectful, now I know a true SD is.

  143. VillaCypris says:

    @ LadyIntim –

    I don’t think your “gift” necessarily need involve something “sexy” or “sex”-oriented. Sometimes the gift of companionship, conversation, genuine interest and caring means more than anything…. the more ‘physical’ stuff can wait until he is healthy/back to normal.

  144. RedMaru says:

    Hi jen
    You have some very pretty pics in your profile by the way Welcome!
    Whoever you just talked to is scum and thats the nicest thing I can call him without being moderated. True SDs and gentlemen do not use languege such as that when communicating their intentions to a pot SB. True gentlemen dont use that when approaching a lady who that want to date in the non sugar world.

  145. VillaCypris says:

    @ jen –

    WOW. I really don’t know what to say… that “conversation” is beyond disrespectful… honestly made me sick to my stomach to even read it, so I can’t imagine being on the receiving end of such drivel.

    NO. A real “SD” would never speak to someone that way, not online, and not in real life. This person does not deserve one second of your time. I hope you blocked him and have to plans to converse again.

    Ugh… just horrible, really.

  146. Rae says:

    WHAT. A. PRICK. and a half. Holy hell. That man needs a fkn slap. He was not only disrespectful to you, but the fact that you said absolutely nothing to him (congrats, cuz i wouldve went off on him) means he shouldve calmed the fk down. Seriously, wtfs a noodle anyways? And he did mean he wants you to suck his dick. But when you didnt jump at the chance, giggling and thanking the lord, he got “butthurt” and got defensive so he wouldnt have to look stupid. Even though what he says makes him looks mad stupid. Dont worry, he was definitely in the wrong.

  147. Rae says:

    @English Lady
    I understand Favoriting them and being picky. But to start off just send a msg to all your favorites saying “hello im ___, if youre curious check my profile and msg me back :)” for the ones you REALLY want, i suggest picking out things you have in common (from reading their profile, stalking is frowned upon lol) and then make it a meaningful email. Im sure theyre most likely to respond to you if they know youre interested in their lives. But respond to your favorites quickly as they may find someone fast, or they may just stop coming online altogether. 🙂 hope i helped.

  148. jen(462031) says:

    I just need to vent a little. I’m very very new to this so I don’t know all the rules about dating and what to ask for. So I was chatting with an SD and our convo went like so:

    Him: need to see if youre trippin or can really suck right
    Me: what are you offering?
    Him: what do you mean
    Me: You want me to just come over there and suck your dick
    Him: uh, if you think i’d offer you money
    Him: youre seriously delirious
    Him: i can get A PRETTY white bitch ANY time i want
    Him: why would i “pay” some chunky noodle
    Him: to suck me off?
    Him: i’m sure some 80yr old might think youre a goddess
    Him: and exotic and shit
    Him: but youre just another hoodrat from the s.bay
    Me: woah take a chill pill papi
    Him: bitch, i’m perfectly chill
    Him: just letting you know
    Him: and what noodle says “papi”
    Him: you grow up around the latino part of south bay or what
    Me: o my gosh ur pretty mean sorry if i offended you i didn’t mean to at all.
    Him: goodness, youre not offending me ONE bit
    Him: i’m not some sensitive marshmellow
    Him: i’m just saying
    Him: but i’m not all butthurt of offended
    Me:K but i feel like someone just yelled at me so i’m just going to sit in a corner for awhile bye.
    Him: omg
    Him: relax
    Him: see
    Him: this is why i dont talk to noodles
    Him: so damn uptight
    Him: RELAX
    Him: christ
    Him: you come out of the corner yet?

    I wasn’t expecting that. So am I asking SD’s the wrong question or was this SD just disrespectful?

    S.O.S. please

  149. Rae says:

    @SoaringSparrow i really do want to go to the party but.. its too far away for me and im broke. well it not THAT far, but im still too broke to go. D:

  150. LadyIntim says:

    Ok, I need tips on entertaining a temporarily handicap SD. Lol. Seriously, I have no idea how to keep him amused while he is recovering.

  151. LadyIntim says:

    Oh and I’m not exactly into stripping either, not that there is anything wrong with it, but I was born with two left feet and would feel silly doing it. I suck. I need to brainstorm.

  152. LadyIntim says:

    SD Guru only Problem is that he is recovering from a serious surgery and has at least 2 more weeks to go, so I can’t exactly draw him a bath or go to crazy in the bedroom. In fact, we can’t even really have you know what. UGh. Man, i need to get really creative with this one.

  153. English Amy says:

    Good Evening Sugars!

    Now, I’m not entirely new to this whole concept, well thats an understatement. I’ve been wanting a SD for..probably about 2 years? In honesty though I haven’t put in an entire effort. I would not come on the site for a couple of months or I would spend days AND days just searching through every single profile ‘favourite-ing’ and never really getting in contact with anyone.
    Procrastinating much??
    I just want to know if anyone has any advice on how to get the ball rolling? And where to draw the line between being to picky and just have plain low standards? =)

    I’m really looking forward to chatting to you all! Lord knows I’m in need of a good Sugar Family. Its so hard to know what to do when you’re in this game by yourself and I appreciate any support!


  154. SD Guru says:


    Quick, everyone, I really need advice regarding a birthday present for an SD. …. Not looking to buy anything overly expensive, but something more personal than a Hickory Farms gift basket.

    I’ll describe a memorable experience one of my SB’s did for my birthday.

    One evening after a nice dinner we were strolling and shopping along an outdoors mall. The weather was perfect and we were enjoying each other’s company and showing PDA like a normal couple. Then she asked me if I want some coffee and dessert and I thought why not. There were plenty of places to choose from but she insisted that we go to a particular cafe that has my favorite chocolate dessert. As the dessert was delivered to our table, she brought her own candles, lit them, and sang happy birthday to me in front of everyone!

    That took some planning and some guts, and she got a round of applause from the patrons and wait staff. Obviously I was surprised and touched by her gesture, but that’s not all. Later that night as we got back to the hotel, she told me she has another surprise for me. We took a nice bubble bath together and then she gave me a sensual massage to get me ready. Then she whispered in my ear “I’m ready to try ____ with you!” That got me out of my dreamy state and I can’t believe what I just heard! Needless to say it was a night to remember. It’s probably tmi if I say any more about that night. 😉

    So my point is, a birthday present for your SD doesn’t have to be something that you spend money on. A well thought out experience that is intimately shared can be more memorable than anything money can buy!

  155. SOaringSparrow says:

    Morning Sugars!!

    Tomorrow is my birthday but have no sugars to spend it with so I think Ill have dinner with my IRL. Really excited, he’s an AWESOME guy but I really want to bring up sugar dating…

    I brought it up to a FREAKAZOID who out of the blue offered to take me shoe shopping asking me to send pics of all the Louboutins and Agent Provocateur things I wanted…I accepted we talked and got to know each other for a while, then I brought up having a sugardaddy and he TOTALLY freaked out!! He said I was being manipulative and a mooch and that I should learn to pay my own way through life…….ummmmm WHAT!? lmao
    You’re married and want to take me shopping..NEWSFLASH: You’re a sugardaddy, idiot! Needless to say I did NOT meet him on a sd site but now Im just scared my IRL that I really do like will react the same or think less of me.

    Are gold diggers people who befriend and pursue people because they have money?? I don’t want to be that….

    Happy Birthday to me!

    O BTW AGAIN: If any sb’s are going to the party please let me know… I plan on going but would LOVE someone to go with….. out of town SB’s we should get together and go!

    Have an awesome day sugarfam and helloooooooooo to all the newbies! I feel like a newbie myself because I never post anymore!

  156. Rae says:

    sorry i meant @artist Do you mean finding guys outside of your country or city? Because were all international, i mainly stick to finding SDs that are around 2 hours away, so as to not make them travel too far to see you. Unless the ones outside are too tempting lol.

    [silly me.]

  157. Rae says:

    @BSSB Thanks, and i do contact them. I just started going after guys outside my city today [like for the past 45 mins lol].
    But how do i find out if theyve added me as a favorite??

  158. Rae says:

    @Frayed Do you mean finding guys outside of your country or city? Because were all international, i mainly stick to finding SDs that are around 2 hours away, so as to not make them travel too far to see you. Unless the ones outside are too tempting lol.

  159. Oh and Rae – you should contact SD’s that catch your eye as well. Don’t wait around for someone to contact you. You may get a response, you may not, at least you don’t sit around wondering what if. Also check out who’s added you as a favorite. Sometimes a guy will add you with the intention of getting back to you at a more convenient time. Take the initiative to thank them and let them know you’ve noticed them too. I’ve gotten a ton of responses by that alone. Just keep going at it. You’ll find the right match too, it just takes time to get your footing.

  160. Sugarbarbie – most guys are not going to go through and look up an IP address. The same can be said about most SB’s. Don’t put the negative energy out there. Stay positive. Have you talked to the SD at all? If so how long? Usually conversation can easily allay many fears because at least you get to know how this person thinks and often things that may seem off color to you will come up in conversation if you ask the right questions. Next after you meet him face to face, that’s another opportunity to judge character and substance. You can run into THE SAME RISKS meeting someone in real life as you would on the internet. 9 times out of 10, they’re not crazy. And if they are, it reveals itself, that thing called intuition is a really powerful thing. Just remember to meet in a public place.

  161. artjunkie says:

    @FrayedEdge Thanks. I was waiting on the photo to be approved =)

  162. artist says:

    is it difficult for any of you international sugars? i’m international and i feel as if that fact scares some guys off. i can’t help where i’m based but i do think it’s causing me to miss out.

  163. sugarbarbie says:

    Hey ya’ll,

    I just want to say that using a fake email may not be that safe. The company I used to work at was getting some hate email once. The person was using a fake email but I was able to trace it back to them using an IP address search. It was an ex employee.

    I also have a pot that seems serious. So crossing my fingers?

  164. Rae says:

    SBs, do you go and msg the SDs/SMs first? or do you believe they should come find you?

  165. Sherri says:

    @babygirl ~ I have a few strategies for safety, too. One thing you can do instead of giving out your phone number is to get a virtual number. Google “virtual number” and you’ll see a lot of different services. I personally use inumbr. For a small monthly fee you can get a phone number for any area code you want and have it forwarded to your cell phone. That way they can’t trace you based on your number, and if anything goes wrong you can block their number easily or change your virtual number to a new one without any disruption to your regular number that friends and family have.

    You can also do a reverse email search on spokeo if the guy gives you his email address. It’s actually pretty good at getting the person’s name if they use that email addy for anything else. So, if you get a sugar email address, don’t put in your full name or other identifying info because it will eventually be picked up by one of these info aggregating services.

  166. SDGuru GREAT points! That’s all. 🙂

  167. VillaCypris – here here! Well put!

    @babygirl – yeah the best thing you can do is just create a special email address to get rid of the anxiety. As for your number being given out, dialing *67 before the number you want to call will hide your number, also you can choose to hide your number on most phones to protect your identity via phone if that worries you. The tricky things is YES you absolutely want to be cautious, however if you’re overly paranoid, you come off as crazy and it’s a huge turn off. There are more tactful ways to get someone’s info, for instance in a phone conversation simply asking the guy what he does, and when he gets into the conversation about that, you can ask him what’s the name of his company. If he’s an exec or owner you’ll easily be able to google the company and in many cases see his name and sometimes a bio etc on the site. You can confirm who he says he is in much more tactful ways. You can simply do the same by meeting him face to face and asking the questions you would when you are out on a normal date and finding info about the person you’re interested in. Just don’t come off right out the gate like you expect him to be an axe murderer. Heck, they have experienced just as much craziness with some SB’s as well, ask, they’ll tell you. Everyone is being cautious.

  168. SD Guru says:

    I hope everyone had a nice weekend and got to spend plenty of time enjoying the real world. There are lots of questions from newbies that have been addressed and I’ll also throw in my two cents worth a bit later. But for now I’d like to comment on Lily’s experience as it can provide a valuable lesson for newbies as well.

    Lily, I’m sorry to hear about your experience and I understand your frustration. Please note I’m not picking on you in any way. I’m just using the experience you described as an example to illustrate a SD’s point of view.

    because they’re afraid we’ll flake and ditch them after getting their first gifts…… These men piss me off!! If she does that, you were well rid of her & maybe you need to work on your character judgment skills. And, frankly, dealing w/ the odd flake is part of life.

    If you can’t afford the loss of an allowance payment before the goods have been delivered, you have no business calling yourself a sugar daddy. You’re a PJ.

    According to what you wrote, dealing with the odd flake SB’s is part of life for SD’s. And when it happens it’s the SD’s own fault for not being a good judge of character. OTOH, if a SD is reluctant to risk the loss of allowance before the goods are delivered, then he is a Perv John. If I follow this logic, either way it’s the SD’s damn fault and the SB is not accountable. Does that sound fair? I understand you were probably frustrated when you wrote this, but I hope you can see how the words came across.

    For an arrangement to work, both parties have to build trust and act in good faith. Maybe some people can get to that point after a dinner meeting, but for most it may take some time to establish. I know every SB’s in this blog think of themselves as trustworthy, reliable, and would never flake on their SD’s. Unfortunately in the sugar world it’s not that simple. SD’s and SB’s have to deal with real risks and each person may behave differently depending on their tolerance to risk.

    if you have to stress about how to ask for the sugar to start flowing, you’ll probably never get any from that guy

    Your experience sounds similar to what happened with Sparrow a few weeks ago when she also mentioned the “ease of transaction” issue, so I’ll ask some of the same questions that I asked her.

    – How long did you communicate with him before deciding to take the trip to visit?

    -Did you discuss each other’s expectations before the trip? If so, what were your expectations? You mentioned that you had hoped to come back with your own horse to ride on. Was that discussed with him?

    – What were his expectations in terms of how much time you will spend with him, and what will you be doing together?

    I can’t stress enough the importance of clearly communicating each other’s expectations with a pot prior to a meeting, especially when travel is involved. Having said that, it’s not uncommon to think everything is in sync prior to a first meeting and then find out the dynamic is different in person. But if the expectations are clearly understood on both sides, then at least you can have some ideas on what to do in case things don’t go according to plan for whatever reason.

    I know Lily is not a newbie, and I wouldn’t recommend a newbie SB travel to meet a pot for the first time. Even if you take all the precautions, too many things can still go wrong. Despite how well you may think you know each other and what a great time you’re going to have, the reality is that you simply don’t know for sure until you meet in person. It’s possible you could hit it off and have the time of your life, but what if you don’t? What if the person that shows up is not as advertised or there is no chemistry?

    When meeting for the first time it’s best to keep it casual like having drinks or dinner locally so that there are no expectations or pressure on either side. This way you can focus on getting to know each other, and if things go well then you can mutually decide how to take things further. I understand this may not be practical for some SB’s due to their location, and in that case it’s better to request the SD to come visit you.

  169. RedMaru says:

    I sure am…whoops thanks
    I’m on track now that its the afternoon here

  170. VillaCypris says:

    Great! Sunny clear skies do wonders for a person!

    by the way, you’re missing the “R” in your name… red mau… 🙂

  171. RedMau says:

    Hey Villa 😀 – After a week of storms, rain and okay weather. the sky is clear.

  172. LadyIntim says:

    Thank you everone for the feedback, SDinLA, I think I will go with your advice and get a set of special tickets. My main SD (the non-married one) loves to go out to eat. He is a huge foodie and he loves to be out in a social setting, so cooking for him will not be that appealing to him. I suppose with my married one I will go with VillaCypris advice and just shower him with attention. I know he loves massages and just any sort of physical attention more than anything. He can literally sit there and have his foot/hand/head scratched for hours.

    NYC SB, I read some of your blog once again last night. Our story is very similar in some aspects. We are the same age and have very similar goals. But a quick question, did you attain the goal of making $1,000,000 by the time you were 25? I still got quiet a few months, but I highly doubt that i’ll reach that target anytime soon. You are my hero if you did.

  173. VillaCypris says:

    *** oops *** I meant he wouldn’t have to worry about hiding a physical gift from you … FROM his wife/significant other.

  174. VillaCypris says:

    LadyIntim –

    I think it was NYC SB who said once that the best present she gave an SD involved Louboutins and a string of pearls… 😉

    especially for your married SD, a gift of “good memories” or experiences would trump a material gift, as he would always have the recollection of your time together – however you choose to spend it – and wouldn’t have to worry about hiding a physical gift from you.

  175. VillaCypris says:

    Hi RedMaru – missed you as I was writing my dissertation above 😉

    how are things in GA?? We have had the most phenomenal weather in Minneapolis the past month. It must be our reward for the dire winter, starting with snow on 12 october. ha.

  176. VillaCypris says:

    Good morning all – happy monday! 🙂

    Welcome to all the *new* bloggers….

    @babygirl –

    you’re very welcome. Re: court TV… keep in mind that anything made for “TV” is most likely highly sensationalised, in order to create drama and keep people interested and entertained. I’ve never watched it, so I can’t speak to the types of crimes or criminals which are profiled on the network, but don’t allow yourself to get so wrapped up in manufactured reality that it adversely affects YOUR reality.

    Being “cautious” is wonderful, and all of us, male and female, should take the appropriate steps to protect ourselves, our identities and our safety…. when it crosses the line into “paranoia”, which by definition is based in fear and/or anxiety, and a constant perceived threat to one’s person, it is no longer beneficial, but rather, detrimental.

    Personally, I’ve found one of the most difficult things with which to deal in the “online world” is the presumption that everyone is ‘fake’ or ‘misrepresenting’ him or herself on some or every level. There are some who do, of course, but the vast majority of people with whom I’ve come into contact, and even become friends, are wonderful, honest, accomplished, professional, successful individuals.

    You need to be “cautious” and guard against those who are predatory and fake, but not so “paranoid” that you shut down and miss out on knowing really great people who are also being “cautious”. I hope I’m making sense.

    I agree with FrayedEdges regarding the creation of an alternate email solely for the purpose of communicating with people you’ve just contacted. It’s easy to do, and will protect your real email.

    As far as requesting full name and all pertinent information before meeting someone… I think it depends on the circumstances. If you are meeting someone local, in a public place, for coffee/lunch/dinner, it’s probably not completely necessary… and keep in mind that SBs aren’t the only ones who are being cautious and careful with their identities.

    Plenty of SDs, married or not, have heard horror stories about women who go on to blackmail them, create problems in the primary relationships, etc. So he wants to determine that the SB is trustworthy, and a woman of honour and integrity who is respectful of his situation and does not desire to create problems for him.

    It’s a balance, and both parties must take the requisite steps to ensure the others’ comfort and safety, while, excuse the pun, feeling each other out, and making sure there is chemisty, mutual respect and trust.

  177. RedMau says:

    Morning sugars! Hows everybody today?
    I have an actual full work week this week which I havent had thanks to furloughs (ahh the beauty of working for govt. bureaucracy) but then I have another short week

    Ahh with bday present I always go with the personal touches like cooking.

  178. FrayedEdges says:

    thank you for your response and now, I don’t know why I was dragging my feet. You make perfect sense. duh! It’s not like I have anything to lose. You win some, you lose some.

    Thanks for your response. I too have always preferred dating older men and I’ve been gradually working my way up in ages. There’s always that first somebody who breaks a barrier.

    You don’t have a profile picture. It is a fact that during browses, your profile will get looked over just for the simple fact that it doesn’t have a pic. Your description is top-notch, but many who could’ve been interested won’t get to read it because of no pics.

    if you’re uncomfortable with giving out your email (which i regard as a safe channel for communication), why not make up a new email address just for dealings on sugardaddy dating? That’s what a lot of married men do… on that same thought, maybe your second SD wanted a little discreetness for whatever reasons. As long as you agreed for a quick meet at a public place, I don’t see what could have gone wrong.

  179. SDinLA says:


    Birthday presents are hard. My Ex wife, GFs and SBs have all said I am impossible to buy gifts for, because when I see something I want, I will immediately have my secretary order it, send a PA out to buy 3 of them etc. Yet despite my predilection for instant gratification, the reality is that I am more touched by the thought/effort that went into a gift than anything else.

    I’m not sure what to suggest for a married SD… you definitely don’t want to get him in trouble.

    Perhaps make an effort to make him feel special when you see on or closest to his birthday? Cooking is always a nice touch, but I don’t know if your meeting locales allow you access to a kitchen, or if indeed you enjoy cooking. Schedule a couples day at the spa and pay for it in advance? Tickets to an event that he would enjoy attending followed by some extra special attention one-on-one?

    All of those things would make me feel more special than buying me another tchotchke or accessory….

  180. babyblonde says:

    Lady ~ Anything from Mont Blanc if that’s too expensive something to do with his fave sports team.

    New SB’s ~ I’m so tired I want to help all the new people out but it’s 4am if anyone wants to write me and ask can focus better in my email

    Baby Blonde SB @ Yahoo . com

  181. LadyIntim says:

    Quick, everyone, I really need advice regarding a birthday present for an SD. Ladies? What type of gifts have you given your SDs? Both my Sd’s birthdays are coming up soon and I am at a loss. One of them is still married, so I wouldn’t want to get him anything that would give away he has a lover. The other SD isn’t married..not that I know of. Maybe the few SDs on the blog can give me their input as well, that would be great. Not looking to buy anything overly expensive, but something more personal than a Hickory Farms gift basket.

  182. Michellee says:

    Thanks Michael AZ for the advice.

  183. babygirl says:

    Thanks Villa I took it off my profile I’ve been watching too much court tv that has made me extremely paranoid im done with that network now have had 2 many nightmares.
    On another note
    I’ve had 2 emails from guys, one emailed me and I asked for his pics I told him to upload it on photobucket I didn’t feel comfortable giving him my email and I never met him and don’t even know him, am I 2 crazy guarded?
    Another guy emailed me and I emailed him back saying I would be interested to go to dinner but first he had to give me his full name just for my safety
    I didn’t hear back from both guys
    I only paid one month on this site I’m glad I did cuz not only do I feel discouraged but SA keeps denying my pics I upload even though it doesn’t go against their rules
    throughout my whole life people said I look like a variety of celebrities so my theory is thats why they’re denying me thinking i’m posting a celeb pic the pics i uploaded are really professional looking they were shot when I was an aspiring actress Im thinking now to just take any pic of myself and upload but I’d rather upload the pics they’ve denied this has been going on for almost 2 weeks now
    I’m also thinking of going to the SA party has anyone been there before? Did u like it? What can someone expect attending?

  184. artjunkie says:

    Hi everyone =) I’m new to the blog, and fairly new to the site (I joined a few years ago, and pretty much forgot about the account – oops!) and sugarland itself, and I have to say, I love the sense of community I’ve gleaned from reading this blog’s comments. It’s definitely not something I’ve ever gotten much sense of IRL, since most women I’ve come across in the dating scene are very catty and competitive. Of course, that may just be my experience, YMMV.

    I know it’s been asked somewhere, but at the moment it’s late and I can’t find the Q&A, but is there much of a place in the SB world for someone that isn’t the societal norm for male fantasies (meaning, the supermodel bombshell)? Again, it might just be my experience. I’ve been shopping around for years with nothing to show for it in terms of actual SD/SB experience (unless you count learning from others’ experience – I don’t, I’m much more a hands-on learner!).

    Also, it’s pending at the moment, but I’ve edited my profile and am wondering if someone wouldn’t mind taking a look and giving some constructive criticism? I would definitely appreciate that =)

    Looking forward to becoming a part of this community!

  185. LadyIntim says:

    FrayedEdges, although age is a matter of personal preference, I find that older gentlemen turn out to be the best daddies in the world. Since I started dating at 18, I was already dating guys at least 10-20 years older than myself. Then about 2 years ago I realized that hey, since I’m already attracted to older guys, why not just find a sugar daddy? So now that I’m in my mid-twenties, my two SD’s are 21 and 31 years older than I am and I couldn’t be happier (with the age gap). So, I guess what I am trying to tell you is don’t limit yourself by sticking to one specific age group. Older, refined gentlemen with means and experience are far sexier than the other kind.

  186. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    BB – glad that it worked out ok! No chemistry = byebye.

    10pm here in Phoenix, 99 degrees still. Spent the day at my place by the pool with my SB, great day. Except … really sunburnt!

  187. babyblonde says:

    Michael AZ ~ Thank you for thinking of me. Turned out to be a really great person after all but we did not have chemistry maybe because I told him I didn’t need to know anymore info about his handle. Think I may have put a damper on his party. I liked him as a friend though he’s very interesting and beautiful to look at he’s 50 & gorgeous and striking looks. He is probably used to women throwing themselves at him, he kept saying how pretty I am and the last few women he has been with sound a lot like me but for whatever reason, I could tell he was being polite and really had no interest in me. I mentioned a few times how he didn’t like possessive women. I just think we were on different pages. But had a really nice time with him.

  188. SoftlySearching says:

    OH! I see Michael AZ Allycat already answered while I was writing….sweeet

  189. SoftlySearching says:

    @RedMaru…Thanks for the warm welcome and I’m also keeping my fingers and toes crossed. SA seems to be more upfront and honest about the SD/SB relationship/arrangement, so I’m hoping to find less discomfort in speaking with potential sd’s about the financial details of the arrangement. I know it’s my own lack of experience in this that has me uneasy but I’m determined to overcome that feeling.

    Oh… I’d love to hear someone address some of Michellee’s questions(all the when’s) lol

  190. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Hey guys – I’m baaaack!!! Great weekend with SB, from Wednesday to Sunday, she just left. We will get together in Canada in 2 weeks. Plus we will be working on a couple of projects where I will be teaching here some new skills and approaches to investment that will make us both some $, and we will both have fun doing so.

    1+1=omfg …

    Too many posts to respond to, but I will respond to Michellee.

    Logistically, as a SD (but I guess I am not the norm) I would provide half the agreed allowance upfront before looking for intimacy. I would make sure the allowance is clearly agreed and understood, and that the boundaries of the arrangement and agreed. You need to have a very open and frank conversation, and it may take a couple of times to get the conversation right.

    For me, I would be looking for intimacy on 3rd date or so, depending on timing. Interestingly, the fact that this is all agreed upon builds the sexual tension in a really fun way.

    But the main point is that if you do not have a connection, walk away. I have met some gorgeous women here, but with no connection and no chemistry, it is really ho-hum, and has a very short life. You are clearly looking for a SD with a long duration, so you NEED the chemistry and connection.

    Also, keep your BS meter switched on. If you sense BS, walk. NEVER be afraid to walk – you must have that up your sleeve at any time.

    You said “dont want be in a bad situation just because someone feels entitled because he is giving me money.”
    Listen very carefully – this is not about someone giving you money and feeling entitled. This is about a sharing of lifestyles, with the mutual benefits. This is NOT about entitlement, by any stretch of the imagination. Get that out of your mind right now. Read the back-blogs and archives and you will get great information from many smart and wise SBs here.

    BB – hope you have a great evening. Shame about the handle, huh!

    Lils – any other news?

    LadyIntim – as you know, my communication with everybody is always based on humour and respect.

    StormCat – where are you these days? We miss you, man.


  191. lillibeth says:

    Hi everyone,
    Have been busy with work and other every day stuff. I am new here since a couple of weeks, and one of the things I have been wondering about is photos. I do not intend to put my face here, and for now I have a blurred variant up. Will eventually get some pictures up where my body and build can be seen, except my face. What are your thoughts on that?
    Also I am older… in my 40s, and wonder if that makes it possible at all to find a match here. I have and have had a life, have lived in many countries and know very much who and what I am and what I can offer. But living in SoCa with all these skinny tanned young botox filled ones makes me wonder if there is anyone who would NOT want simply another arm candy.

    If anyone would consider to take a look at my profile and give some input, that would be greatly appreciated. One of the things I wonder about is what things to bring up in the profile, and what to leave for later. For example an allowance vs gifts and getting help here and there, what I intend to use it for and so on.


    I have read the blog and have found so much valuable information… so thanks a million to all of you who take the time to share.

    My apologies if the questions are on the silly level.

  192. Michellee says:

    Hello I am new to the site. Just enrolled last night. I like what I have read so far. Do you ladies have more tips to add to what Midwest wrote? When talking about arrangements…how do you make that arrangement work? for example, when do you get or when should you receive the money? When should the intimacy take place? What is your guideline for a first date? Once you have establish a connection after that date, then what? I am also worried about my esteem after excepting an arrangement. What will the SD expect? And when will he expect things? I dont want be in a bad situation just because someone feels entitled because he is giving me money. I’ve never been in that type of situation and want to be cautious.

  193. SweetSugar says:

    I’m the opposite of you. IRL I don’t approach guys. On here that’s pretty much all I do. I have had good and bad luck doing both, 50/50. I’d say if there is someone you are interested in, write them. Many many SB do this.

    Daddies often have to read through hundreds of emails from SBs a month, depending on how much they make and their location. You will get attention faster by taking the first step because a lot of guys here don’t even have to do searches in their area, the local babies find them before he can do a search that will end up with you in it. At least that has been the experience in my area. I’m in Michigan, and we are in a flat-out depression, as you may have heard. Living here you can’t afford to miss an oppertunity, simply because there aren’t many out there.

    In a regular dating situation I prefer to be chased. I play hard to get, but catchable for the right guy. What can I say? I’m a bit of a tease….lol

  194. NOLA baby says:

    ViVi, I know some will disagree with this approach, but I don’t necessarily wait for SDs to contact me. You can get their attention without having to email them by either just viewing their profile or, if you really think they have potential, making them a favorite. This has worked for me. Of course I’m not what every SD is looking for, but 95% I’ve at least given myself a chance by having them look at my profile.

    Hope this helps. I’m not new to the sugar life, but new to the online sugarbowl and this blog.

  195. RedMaru says:

    Hey Vivi – It just depends. I just reactivated my profile for six months and still have yet to get a legit SD so dont give up!

  196. ViVi says:

    How long did it take for people to get SDs? Is there something in particular you put on your profile that makes SDs want to chat? I’ve been on this site for about two weeks and haven’t heard from any one 🙁

  197. FrayedEdges says:

    @ RedMaru
    trust me, i felt the same way.
    Nothing wrong if you’re looking for an escort, but go to Vegas or something.

  198. RedMaru says:

    FrayedEdges – Wow What a jerk! That was just uncalled for and down right out rude no matter what race. You certainly showed you were the better person by your calm response…

  199. SweetSugar says:

    ” Chances are you probably wont hear from him again, week after next is a long time to wait in the sugar world.”

    That was my request. I’m going to be too busy to meet this coming week.

    “Renting a house with a married couple? sounds to me like he’s renting a room. And if so, im probably making more than he is.”

    I was actually at this house. It is nice. In a nice area, big, not huge. I was just suprised to find out there was a couple living upstairs. His explanation was that he was renting a house himself before that and the house suddenly sold. Therefore, he found himself in a position to have to move out quickly. He is going to be moving out of this place next month. I actually forgot about that until now. Oy!

    I’m going to see what he’s willing to put on the table allowance-wise (I’ll bring it up next meeting) and just move forward from there. He does seem like a great guy and we have a crazy ton in common. Just the thought of being able to ride horses regularly again makes me want to give him a shot. I’m not going to let myself be disappointed, I’ll just keep an open mind and assume he really is as new as he’s saying and just learning about being a SD. I won’t put all my eggs in one basket, but I’ll just see what happens during our next meeting.

  200. FrayedEdges says:

    Technically, I’m new to sugardating…several months old and I’m interested to pick up advice wherever I can get them.
    Some questions I have for now:
    1) Any of the sugarbabes here made the first approach? and what has been the result? What do you typically say? So far, it’s always been men writing me… while in real life, I have no trouble going up to a man or letting him know my interest, for some reason, I hesitate on doing so here. I guess it’s because of the competition and deep down after all, I believe in men doing the chasing in the dating world…lol.
    2) Is it me or are many sugardaddies requiring you to be the submissive type? In many ways, I struggle with that because while I’m looking for someone to be dependent on, in spirit, I am very independent. Meaning that I have my own life, my own stuff, want my own time…while it’s no problem for me to accomodate a SD’s schedule, I’m not looking to give up my life for a SD. It occurs to me there are plenty women who would be OK with that since they’re getting in exchange a rewarding lifestyle, but anybody else has struggled with that?
    3) How old is too old? I find it hard to muster much enthusiasm about someone significantly older contacting me (meaning more than 30 years). I’d hate to think that I’m passing up on good daddies because I’m concerned of a too wide in age gaps, so has anyone gotten good experience out of that?

    Advice I would give to tadpoles in the sugardating pool:
    1) Make sure these men are sugardaddies and INTEND to be. Normally, you wouldn’t think you’d have to stress on that since you’re on a sugardaddy dating site, but I’m finding it’s the total opposite. Besides the fakers, you’ll find that others are not so generous or treating this as a game you have to pass. I don’t mean to be rude, but why be on a sugardaddy site and not match.com or eharmony if you’re looking for love in a ‘normal’ setting? As a SB, don’t be scared to broach the subject if they’re not doing so; if they’re reluctant to discuss it in the first place or to voice their intentions as a SD, that is not a good sign.

  201. FrayedEdges says:

    Thanks for the welcome!
    and it’s nice to hear of you three girls’ experiences. What can I say? Not only it’s disheartening, but it’s somewhat depressing to come across attitudes like that in this day and age. I too had a man (very hot, but looking cocky in his pictures) asked what would be my price for the experience. When I politely responded that I didn’t have a price to let him know that I wasn’t working as an escort and thinking the issue would be left at, he asked for more pictures so he could determine my price. This guy was in his late 30’s! Needless to say, that was it!
    Anyway, I think I’ve browsed this blog before, but didn’t really pay attention since I don’t really get ‘bites’ on this site. I might stick around though for the companionship since I don’t have any friends who are sugarbabies. I spontaneously signed up after watching a show Tyra did on it. I’ve loved the experience, but I’ve gotten discouraged on sooooo many other occasions. Hoping it will soon turn around.

  202. FrayedEyes: Thanks for your comment. We actually discussed this a few blogs back about black women in the sugarworld. BrownskinSB, Texassug (if Im not mistaken) as well as a host of others spoke about the interracial issue and the successes or the lack thereof. I in fact have always dated interracially, the majority being white. But I’ve also dated east indian, and arabic men. What you’re saying is 100% correct; men on here ARE looking to play out fantasies and ‘try new things’ They feel they can let their guard down and be candid with me which is TOTALLY fine but some people don’t even REALIZE their being offensive. Although I am open to new experiences and the least judgmental person I know, I am not a lab rat and don’t take too well to being toyed with. Figuratively and literally speaking. We also discussed the preconceived notion about how black women act stereotypically… I think men are weary of that and assume ALL black women act this way.


    Non NYC SB’s- Im REALLY interested in going to the party of the 24th but don’t want to go alone. If there are any SB’s who would like to make the trip to the big apple together I have an airline secret that could be beneficial! email me at Jenn dot B forty seven (numbers) at g m x dot c o m or on the SA email!!

  203. RedMaru says:

    Hearty Welcome to Sugarfam SoftlySearching and Frayed Edges 😀

    SoftlySearching – Grats on your pots so far I know you will do fine. Got fingers and toes crossed. Keep us posted. Dont be nervous and be yourself and know what you want and you’ll be fine!

    Frayed Edges: Nice to see another GA resident! 😀 Stopped by your profile your pics are stunning by the way! I know you didnt ask me but I am also a black female. Obviously there are guys out there like that who consider being with one of us a “fantasy” In this day and age in the twenty first century it shouldn’t be as those barriers have been since broken down or so we thought. Yet every now and then you encounter some one who’s stuck in the nineteenth century with the mentality that see us as some kind of forbidden fruit or posession. Its sad but alot that has to do with enviroment and how he or she was raising. sad but true. Not all are like this but sadly there are that creepy minority. Hope I made some sense.

  204. Sherri says:

    @FrayedEdges ~ I got one too where the guy wanted me to be his first time “trying chocolate”. While I’m not opposed to being someone’s first, I don’t want to do the one-night-stand thing just to satisfy his curiosity. So I politely declined and said I was looking for an SD. He responded that he would be willing to pay me by the hour to do some “modeling” for him. I’m not even sure what that means… I poofed after that.

  205. babyblonde says:

    going to have some pure dark chocolate to cheer me up so I can finish getting ready. I have about as much enthusiasm as a stone right now….

  206. SoftlySearching says:

    ohhh question I wanted to ask… this party in New York…. do many of the sb’s get together to go as a group or something or is it a walk in alone and meet as you go?

  207. babyblonde says:

    Hi Sugar Family ~ I am supposed to meet a pot SD in a little while I had really high hopes for. In fact I contacted him bc I thought we had a spark…I never do that…and after many back and forth emails we surprisingly had so much to talk about and in common! But then as I’m getting dressed I ask him what his handle meant. I thought it was something clever, philosophical or had something to do with a charity. Turns out it has more to do what he has in his pants! If I had known that I would have not even glanced twice. He’s taking me to my fave restaurant in but I am getting so depressed by the minute over this whole thing. I’m sure he’s great and all…but that just sux butt. Thought I would feel better if I vent a little. 🙁

  208. RedMaru says:

    Hey sugars! Back finally from Mass and walking around the Mall found this incredible stuff for my eyes which I swear lightens them up and takes ten years off. at the Bare Minerals store during free makeovers. Turned the head of a lawyer coming out of Lenox Squar. The nice lady who did my makeup at Bare Minerals wrote down all the stuff she used and provided samples now I’ve just got to get them!!!!

    Hey AnnaMolly 😀 if you’re still here as far as first person shooters that are good off the top of my head would be God of War III it scored a 10 in Game Informer. I’m playing it now and its pretty intense. Another one is Bayonetta with a female gun toting heroine its good too. A good place to look for games and ratings is videogames dot com

    Welcome Natali 😀 😀 to the sugarfam

    EstablishMen eh? I saw the interview with the founder Simone Dadoun- Cohen on YouTube It was supposed to be so much more elegant I had to admit I was curious – thanks for the heads up

  209. SoftlySearching says:

    Hi everyone, I have been reading your post since I became interested in entering the sugar world. I started out on a dating site for wealthy men, then on to sdaddie.com, which I discovered to be pretty much a dating site, and finally made the leap here, mostly because of what I was reading on your blog and the fact that you actually converse like a family. I am a 42 year old struggling artist and personaly know no one who lives in the sugar world, so very excited to meet everyone. My profile went up yesterday morning and I was a little nervous due to my high expected allowance, but I really wanted to limit the amount of emails I received to the “only serious and capable sd’s”. I’ve already recieved several interesting emails from what seem to be gentlemen and made a coffe date for next week with one. Really hoping the one on vacation in the islands till the end of next week will set a date as well (he’s really hot!) Please wish me luck everyone… I’m sure I will be needing advice soon…. xoxo

  210. FrayedEdges says:

    New blogger here but wanted to comment on something.

    do you mind if I point out something? I took the liberty to check out your profile (you are very beautiful by the way) and after having been on different sugardaddy sites for a while, I’m willing to make a guess that young black girls are more likely to be hit on by creeps. I’m also a young black female. Realize that what I say doesn’t mean that other races are exempt to creepos, but it’s something that makes me truly curious and I’d like to have one honest discussion on that. One older man I developed a friendship with from another site (he wasn’t a sugar daddy; just came to talk to him and appreciated his straight shooter attitude) told me that a) most men on the site are married even if they don’t admit it at first and b) would be looking to act out their fantasies because they got married too young and didn’t thoroughly enjoy themselves when they were young. Although he didn’t say, in the latter, he implied that my race would be a factor when it comes to those ‘fantasies’. Now, I’m all about new experiences and don’t necessarily see others’ curiousness as a deterrent factor and as a fact, I do happen to get mostly ‘hit’ on by white men, but some cases have really left me scratching my head. In particular this one man who had a ‘poor me, i have everything, but i’m so lonely’ profile who said in explicit words that he wanted to buy me and was looking forward to own me. I had to bite my tongue to not reply that it was no wonder that he was so alone. The same man admitted to me that he has ‘dated’ nothing but black women since he got divorced ten years earlier. Now, I didn’t want to come to the wrong conclusions, but his poor choices of words really left me wondering…
    I don’t know…I’m interested to hear some thoughts on that. Technically, I’m not a new sugarbaby, but I am new on this site (I never checked on the first profile I had, and eventually forgot the password). I can’t espouse of a lot of success, so I’m looking forward to turning to the blog to see whatever advice I can get.

  211. NOLA baby says:

    Hi everybody,

    I’ve been lurking for a little while and am coming out of hiding to thank all of you for sharing such invaluable wisdom and experience.

    Good luck to all!

  212. hahahahaha! Im SERIOUS guys!!! ~pouty face~ there really ARE some creepos out there! have a LOT more stories where that came from! lol. fml.

  213. Anna Molly says:

    Hi everyone!!! Good to see all of you 😀

    Welcome to all the new bloggers and the not so new!

    Hi Red! Have you played any new games lately? I’m looking for a good first person shooter..for PS3

    Have fun with what’s left of the weekend!


  214. Natali says:

    Thanks for the help everyone, but how should I go about asking for those things without seeming demanding. I know I am a bit timid, which seems to draw in men. They like my mystery or something. But to be like hey can you pay for me to come to you… Seems kinda abrupt!

  215. JA-PRINCESS says:

    ”It would be a lot less offensive if an SD DARED asking me to send him pictures of my toes gripping a banana (NO, I didnt make that up) because I’d just laugh and walk away. (a lot harder to do online…)”


  216. sugarbarbie says:

    lol soaringsparrow I used to walk on egg shells with these guys afraid to straight out say no or not gonna do that. recently, i started to straight out say no to certain requests, without beating around the bush, no explanations. and funny thing, it makes them want me more. they usually laugh and say well that was easy….then they see me as a challenge…noticed i been put on the back burner a lot less since i been doing that. I guess before they figured i would put up with stuff and stick around…now i don’t play…still have a little ways to go before am as assertive as I wish to be. The friends I met through here is what helped me build up my confidence.

  217. Each weirdo I meet and speak to on this site moves my monopoly piece (Im a shoe of course!!) one step closer to the SA party on the 24th. I know how I am perceived in person rather than behind a computer screen and three pictures. I think that will be my bday present to myself…that way I can more easily weed out creepo SDs. It would be a lot less offensive if an SD DARED asking me to send him pictures of my toes gripping a banana (NO, I didnt make that up) because I’d just laugh and walk away. (a lot harder to do online…)

  218. JA-PRINCESS says:


    Chances are you probably wont hear from him again, week after next is a long time to wait in the sugar world. he seems to be testing the waters a little bit, what kind of bad experiences could he have had if youre really the first person he has met? Renting a house with a married couple? sounds to me like he’s renting a room. And if so, im probably making more than he is.
    I might be wrong, but i sense you already have your bullshit radar up, and if you smell shit then theres probably shit somewhere close by. With so many other great men with less ifs ands buts and maybes, why hold out for him?

  219. Think Im going to research how to become a dominatrix sugarfam. I think Ill have more successes telling men what do do then biting my tongue when demands are made of me by men who have a false sense of entitlement. (blowing off steam) I know there are nice, genuine SDs out there but I think I’ve hit the jackpot of duds. UGH!

  220. JA-PRINCESS says:

    mmm..so sad, what a jerk..some really are rejects and degenerateS in real life, so they take to the virtual world because they believe they can hide behind a computer screen hoping they can pull a fast one on some unexpecting chick. True colors never take long to show themselves though. If i wanted to date reguLarly i could easily pick up a guy off the street if that was my thing and we’d do the dating, commitment, im fallling for you crap, till it was over and i’d have nothing to show for my time wasted. But i choose to date in the sugar world, and I dont run into these type of men in my daily activities so i have to actively seek them out by coming to sites like SA. Then you cant tailor your profile to sound mean and nasty, i’d never get any responses at all…lol..smh..

    good things come to those who wait, so im waiting patiently.

    I so agree, it seems they always wanna talk sex before they talk allowance. Its a lot we have to deal with, the ones who say they want an NSA arrangement but are so concerned with what your doing when you missed his call. And try to low ball you and your worth but dont expect you to be seeing any other SD’S. my only regret now is not getting one of those prepaid cells, because now i have “so called sd’s” who i gave the shaft, because of incompatibility, still texting and calling and sending IM’s. hmmpphh..

  221. UGGHHH!!!!! Dear, Tightly wound SD’s who would NEVER get a girl until they realized the power of money:

    Please get off your high horse already!



  222. babyblonde says:

    Midwest ~ Yeah I’m really annoyed with that site I don’t like being associated with scams like that I think it gives everyone a bad name. I know I am a go getter, but I deliver and if I say I am going to do something my SD’s know they can depend on me to be 100% dependable and respectful no drama. I’m out to spread good intentions in the world and I feel just a little more motivated to have true integrity (even if I am older than I say at first, I do eventually tell at the right time) just to offset the perception in the SB/SD arena.

    VillaCypris ~ Thank you so much, that makes me feel really good. I am trying to keep my posts a little shorter lately. I realize I can talk too much and less is sometimes more. But thank you! 🙂

    Well said to Sugar Barbie…laugh at him, I would even say yes now that you mention it you are absolutely right which is why you should leave me alone asap! LOL

    JustaBaby ~ start out simply, I go with less is more, what you don’t say is just as important as what you do say sometimes more so. I keep it warm and professional. If you have some specifics let us know we’ll be happy to help. For instance if the guy doesn’t have a profile up, use his name if he gave one, and say “Thank you would you please send your pic to….. and if we have any chemistry perhaps we can meet for a drink and get aquainted” Depends on what you want to do to move forward.

    Do you want to get to know someone online first before meeting or meet a lot of guys for coffee? Or would you feel better meeting guys for dinner? or a drink? and keep it simple. Too much info kind of mucks things up for me.

  223. SweetSugar says:

    Oh, and he’s supposed to be making 500,000 to 1 million a year.

  224. SweetSugar says:

    So, met with the potSD a few hours ago.
    We talked for two hours. Got along great. Mentioned he’s having a house built and that is why he is renting a house with a married couple…..I was thinking. Why rent a house with a married couple when you can rent a house on your own? Said he works in computer software. At the end of the date he gave me $100 and told me he wanted to meet me the week after next for dinner and horseback riding. We are both riders. Said he was VERY new to the idea of being an SD. Said I am the only person he’s met. He was very glad he met me but is deleting his account due to bad experiences. No discusssion of allowance/gifts/etc….but I made it very clear to him, that at this point in my life, I need money so I can save. Translation=allowance.
    What do you think?

  225. SweetSugar says:

    I would explain your situation to the SD and ask for cab fair to meet him.

  226. JustaBABY says:

    Hello lady’s
    I am really looking for an veteran SB that can just take me under her wing and show me the ropes (show me how to play my cards right) i am very new at this and dont quite know were to get stared i have been get many request from SD but dnt what and who to look out for so can anyone help me .

  227. VillaCypris says:

    sugarbarbie –

    just remembered the story ^^^ wherein the potSD called you an “escort” for refusing to meet at McDonald’s or to “hang out” at the park (we all know what THAT means)…!!!

    I know it’s upsetting to be called names, especially one which has a more negative than positive connotation… but the best way to deal with that is to just LAUGH hysterically and then let it go.

    In no way am I making light of your situation, but think about how funny it is, if you step back and view it objectively – a grown man, asking a woman whom he’s never met, for a first date at McD. She politely refuses and he throws a temper tantrum, hurling names and insults, as if he were a 4 year old at McD who was denied the pleasures of his happy meal.

    HAHAHAHAHAHA. Good riddance. I feel sorry for his next target, who might fall for that, or the “hang out” at the park trick, thinking he is a REAL genuine gentleman.

  228. VillaCypris says:

    Sugarbarbie – good to know! Sounds like a big scam to me. I do like SA for the fact that one can edit his or her profile, add and delete photos and delete the entire profile entirely, without much ado.

    babyblonde – thanks! I have a few insightful comments once in awhile 😉

    by the way, even though I’ve not posted lately, I have kept up with the previous blogs and wanted to tell you that I think you are an inspiration as well!

    midwest – you’re welcome. great people should be appreciated!

  229. sugarbarbie says:

    VillaCypris I had the same problem with elitemeet I got messages everyday, one was full access who ended up being a jerk the rest I would to upgrade for and then I tried to log in and couldn’t. I have contacted them several times and never got a response. The owner lurks in other sites to pick up new clients so I sent him a message on one and he never read it.

  230. Midwest SB says:

    Hi ladies!

    Natali – welcome! I’m sure that it will take some patience…an SD can do many things: Introduce you to those who have job opportunities in your field, provide an allowance that allows you to relocate where you want, mentor you on your search for a new life elsewhere, and/or fully help with relocation expenses. Any and all of these could and should be approached as your short-term goals with future sds. I’m sure some semblance will come your way.

    VC and Gail – you are too sweet. I learned it all from here, so please take plenty of the credit!

    Gail – I was hoping you would have an update. I reached out to someone else too and he hasn’t responded. *sigh* I hope she is fine and just taking a break.

    I’ve not had the same experience with establishedmen.com. I did put my profile as being unsearchable. The men there take such offense at the idea of an allowance…they should fill out a SB profile and perhaps get a better idea of what the site is promoting. A scam all the way around.

    NYC gets hotter by the day…the whole package and then some!

    Catching up on stuff at home since I’ve been traveling more. SD is coming here this week! Perhaps he will put a relo package together after he spends a day or two here 🙂 He did say I was wasting my time and talents in this small town…awwwww. I’d love to go south again! It definitely got me thinking if this is a serious opportunity or if he is being inspirational.

  231. babyblonde says:

    Babygirl ~ That’s so funny ! Why don’t you actually do those things and leave it off your profile. I am very well trained. I thought you were serious and I was so happy to have a new friend. The best way to overcome your paranoia is to face it and do something about it. Take action.

    SB-emy ~ That’s interesting about the log in dates!! I’ve made a very intelligent pen pal on there and I have a couple of seemingly great pots from there but I don’t think I can handle a fake site like that, who knows what else they do.

    B ~ You have such a really positive attitude and great energy! Glad to have you on the blog. 🙂 Good luck with your assignments and exams! 🙂 and if you find time, keep us posted!

    Babydoll ~ Sorry to hear. You can get lucky on the other sites, but this is the only real one I know of.

    VillaCypris ~ Great info that’s pretty scary. I also like what you said to Babygirl

  232. VillaCypris says:

    Yes NYC SB, it was to you whom I was referring. Aggravating indeed!

    And you ARE that hot… someday you will believe me 😉

    Have a good workout! x

  233. NYC SB says:

    VC – You know my experience with Elite… they basically stole my profile… with real text and real pictures… now i cannot log in their site… im sure they use it to lure new members (not that I am that hot but still) … aggravating…

    anyways… hope everyone is having a sugary weekend… mine was sugar sister filled for sure… now onto working on my fitness!

  234. VillaCypris says:

    Good! Happy to hear you’re doing well 🙂

    I’ve been concerned about Lisa, too! Hope she’s okay. :/

  235. Gail says:

    Greetings Villa : ) Yes…life has its challenges, but I am doing well : )
    It’s nice to stop by from time to time. I see everyone is still sharing experiences and trying to help others… different Sbabies and Sdaddies going through much of the same as we have all gone through at points of our Sugar lives.

    By the way WELCOME Natali : ) I haven’t experienced relocation, and have no great answer to your question. I am sure others will help. Lisa would be perfect, as her most recent SD relocated her. She got the perfect location on the good side of the freeway, across from the Galleria : )

    Yes, yes, yes…I agree Villa, Midwest SB….she is so inspiring!!!!

    Lastly….LISA I miss you on the blog!!! I need my dose of Lisa in the morning, and throughout the day!!!! True, honest, unique,real sugar in
    its rarest form : )

  236. VillaCypris says:

    @babyblonde re: established men

    thanks for the heads up –

    I will add “elite meeting” to the list as well… i’ve not logged into that site in months, and everyday, receive notification that i’ve received at least 10 emails. All of which cannot be read unless one upgrades to silver premium or something. I tried to delete my account, but could not, nor could I delete my photos! And one of my best girlfriends signed up on there and basically had her account hijacked, so that she cannot even log into it any longer.

    @ Midwest SB – you continue to be an inspiration! 🙂

  237. VillaCypris says:

    @ babygirl –

    “I have taken several defense classes, own a variety of guns and in the process of obtaining a black belt so if you are a predator skip this profile and resume taking your medication please”

    I understand the sentiment behind your words, BUT – in my opinion, yes, it is “too much”. Having a sentence like that in your profile gives the impression that you have attracted that sort of predator in the past and are seeking to dissuade new ones, or have some kind of ‘chip’ on your shoulder about men you expect to encounter online.

    NEITHER of which is true, from what I can sense about you from your postings. As Lily and others have said, it’s always ideal to be POSITIVE in your profile, for good, normal persons are attracted to positivity and upbeat attitudes.

    And, think of the psychological state of said “predator”… he might be attracted to such language, viewing you as a challenge! don’t want that! 🙂


  238. VillaCypris says:

    Good morning all!!

    GAIL!!!!!!! I just asked our mutual friend about you the other day 🙂 hope you’re well!

    Lily – sorry you’re coming home without the “horse”… I agree with you… people either “get “IT” ” or they don’t… that’s been my experience thus far!

  239. Natali says:

    Hi everyone,

    I am new to this site and this lifestyle so can obviously use some advice.
    Due to being laid off last year I had to sell my car and move to “the middle of nowhere” for funds. So currently I am still without car and live in a town that makes me think of that old show Northern Exposure! I am looking to relocate to a bigger city, but my low paying job limits savings. I also am living with a friend, so relocating will be easier due to not have a lease to break.
    I would like assistance in relocating, but it seems that in order for a SD to take interest we must meet. Any recommendations on how to go about talking with SD’s regarding this or other matters?


  240. Gail says:

    Welcome to the Sugarbowl Angel : ) You will find excitement and then some!!!!

  241. babydoll22 says:

    Thanks RedMaru!

    I am just so fresh to this thing, but I do feel like it comes naturally to me 😀 Doesn’t hurt to get some advice from some veterans though ^_^


    Girl yes, I signed up for that site too && it’s pretty shxtty. I can’t find anyone on there who understands what I’m looking for or can be a SD. Another poser site for eHarmony rejects…

    Well we’re supposed to meet up tomorrow && go back to his place for drinks and then head out to dinner. He told me he took off the day after to do stuff (hopefully shopping!!) I’m so excited 😀

  242. Lily says:

    Weekend trip over, @ airport heading home, and no horse to ride on. I start to learn one thing:

    if you have to stress about how to ask for the sugar to start flowing, you’ll probably never get any from that guy, because he’s more than likely a cheapskate, discount-shopping PJ hoping to pressure you into a free test drive, or, best case scenario, to low-ball you. Next him asap & find a real gentleman SD who is very comfortable with the concept of mutually beneficial relationships and shows his sincere & honorable interest in you quite clearly without you having a chance to sweat it out, wondering how to turn things towards a sugary nature.

  243. B says:

    Thank you all for your positive words especially babyblonde. I think that I will just reword my profile to include alot of what I wrote here as that was honest and open and it hasnt garnered any negative feedback (not that I can see anyway). Even if it never truly comes my way, Im not a lonely person, and I know I’ll make it to the top, even if it isnt the Darren Hayes way!

    Here’s hoping that I dont drown in my assessment – 3 weeks, two assignments and three exams! Im sure that I’ll find time for the sugar family though



  244. SweetSugar says:

    Date with potSD is in a few hours. I’m a little nervous, but I know I shouldn’t be. I have a TON to offer. If he doesn’t see that it’s his loss for sure. No doubt about it.

    Hopefully, we’ll get to do something fun today. Something I enjoy for once so I can really feel relaxed. We are just meeting and than deciding exactly what we want to do.

    Yesterday was a GREAT day. I hope that I can say, that by the end of the day today, that my weekend was great. Not just Saturday.

    :::crosses fingers::::

  245. angel says:

    nice to be here… hope to find something exciting…

  246. Lily says:

    JA Princess says, “I prefer an experienced SD for sure….He’s not sitting around twidling thumbs guessing about what is expected of him as my Sugardaddy.”


    The guys who are sooooo stressed about the possible scenario that they will have spent money on us or sugared us up in some way, before they’ve been intimate w/ us, because they’re afraid we’ll flake and ditch them after getting their first gifts…… These men piss me off!! If she does that, you were well rid of her & maybe you need to work on your character judgment skills. And, frankly, dealing w/ the odd flake is part of life. If one allowance or one shopping day is something you can’t bear the thought of spending your resources on without having any iron clad guarantees that she’ll drop her panties later, then you’re not an SD, you’re a Pervy John with all the wrong reasons for trying to pose as an SD, and no elegance or class in your body. A guy who doesn’t need to sex me and isn’t trying to get a piece as quick as possible is SO SEXY…. A wealthy, successful
    man of confidence who wants to move forward with *me* but then sits back and let’s things unfold and play out naturally……that’s hot. I’m at least subconsciously imagining that he’s probably not hard up and desperate to get laid because with his attributes and resources, he probably gets laid whenever he wants. But he wants romance & passion that builds up a bit and explodes when I signal that I’m ready, because that’s worth the wait. The less pressure I feel about his need to score, the faster I find myself ripping his clothes off. Reverse Psychology, guys. How hard is it to at least fake it, in the name of trying to be a gentleman?

    If you can’t afford the loss of an allowance payment before the goods have been delivered, you have no business calling yourself a sugar daddy. You’re a PJ.

  247. sb-emy says:

    The one misleading feature of that website I find is the “Online Now” function of certain sugar daddies, indicating that they are online when in fact that haven’t logged on since April!

    Caught up with my sugar daddy today, was wonderful – only had an hour and a half to kill, but it will be weeks until I see him again (exams, and whether he has any business interstate). He’s so very tactile and patient. Loving it xx

    has anyone heard from Lisa? I’m beginning to get very worried…

  248. Lily says:

    I guess if you’re getting a flood of emails then sure. But if you’re not, I wouldn’t put anything negative on my profile.

  249. babygirl says:

    Hi guys I’m a newbie
    I put on my profile

    I have taken several defense classes,
    own a variety of guns and in the process of obtaining a black belt so if you are a predator skip this profile and resume taking your medication please

    What do you think? is that 2 much, could really use a SD/SB view

    safety is really important to me especially since I’m a paranoid person

  250. babyblonde says:

    PLEASE READ: Just want to warn everyone about a new site Established Men . com I signed up it’s telling guys I’m flirting with them and I’m not so I’m getting accepted and rejected by a bunch of guys I never even saw before!!. It happened 4 times in 24 hours. I can assume it goes both ways, guys who I thought were flirting with me probably were computer generated. That could be awful if it sent one to somebody I know…

  251. MindyNYC says:

    Oh, RedMaru! Go for a pittie if you can. They are GREAT dogs! I’m a certified Level 1 Trainer and volunteer at a local shelter where we specialize in (re)training them for good homes – also a proud mommy of one…If you need a hand be sure to let me know – happy to help…I recommend everyone have a pet -any pet – they enrich our lives soo much!

  252. MindyNYC says:

    Hi ALL!
    Warm welcome to all the newbies and lurkers alike!

    No sugar plans this week…I’ll be lucky if I see him once this month and it looks like it will be the same for most of the summer months :(…We’ll just have to make the time we spend together really count!

    Babydoll22 – adding to what RedMaru said. Everyone’s experience is different, but I only sleep with a SD if I’m ready to enter an arrangement, and only after an allowance (trust) is received. If I am not sure that I am ready to enter an arrangement or sleep with him yet, I do not accept an allowance and try to avoid accepting gifts. Hope this helps 🙂

  253. Lily says:

    Traveling is fun…..but……

    Always have the guy come to you if at all possible!

    Then he can’t throw up airfare/accomodations/meals in your face to make you feel *obligated* on your end.

    I didn’t think that could happen, but apparently it can.

    Second alternative: if flying to his city & he pulls bogus, non-sugary behavior on you like that, then be sure that one of your best girlfriends lives in that city and you can just party w/ her until your flight home.

  254. babyblonde says:

    RedMaru ~ hit me up anytime, with any questions, I’ve put most of my life into animals. keep me posted. 🙂 Great post for Babydoll22!

    BabyBlonde SB at Yahoo

    SugarBarbie ~ Most guys don’t care, you are absolutely right surprisingly enough. Sometimes they just want to know you are responsible and not call on them for every emergency that comes up. Midwest had some great advice btw.

    Midwest ~ Excellent advice for Sugar Barbie and Rae! 🙂 You said that much more effectively than I could have.

  255. RedMaru says:

    Hi babydoll22 welcome to the fold and congrats on your pot. The first date should be when you get to know each other talk and enjoying each others company with no intimacy involved or required. And as far as allowance and what you should ask for: Take into consideration your needs (expenses, gifts) and see what he’s bringing to the table as far as his maximum budget. Good luck and may it be sweet!

  256. babydoll22 says:

    Hi you guys!

    I just met a pot SD (my 1st!) and we seem to be hitting it off well! We text during the day and discuss plans && I’m curious to know… How soon is too soon to bed your SD? He wants to talk about my allowance, how much should I ask for?

    I’m really new to this but I’m so so excited to get the ball rollin! You guys have any tips for me??


  257. sugarbarbie says:

    That conversation was insulting on so many levels. I have changed my profile. Hopefully better quality pots will appear.

  258. RedMaru says:

    McDonalds 🙁 I’m with Sherri on that one! Thats right below my flake date of Dominos pizza! And like Sherri I dont have the time or patience to stick around to prove anything.

  259. Sherri says:

    sugarbarbie – wow! It’s hard to believe someone would suggest McDonald’s for a first date. I wouldn’t even want to go there for the first time on a non-sugar date.

    I’ve met/talked to several guys who are super sensitive about money and want you to prove that you’re not in it for the money. I don’t have the patience to stick around and try to prove anything to them.

  260. RedMaru says:

    Hey Midwest 😀 Missed ya and I agree range makes all the difference!

  261. sugarbarbie says:

    Thanks again Midwest. I definitely will try that just to avoid these cheap skate time wasters.

  262. Midwest SB says:

    Qualify – not met, but have been in two arrangements.

  263. Midwest SB says:

    Sugarbarbie – I worry that the fact that you are NOT asking for an allowance, you are attracting the wrong guys. I noticed that when I changed my allowance from open/negotiable to a range, the responses were of a greater quality. You can tell a potential later that you prefer travel, shopping, gifts, etc. on date one/two etc. SDs understand there are different preferences for sugar. The guys who want you b/c you don’t want an allowance will be trouble.

    Rae – Screen, screen, screen. Follow your intuition and always be safe. You will have to put your feet in the water, but you have lots of control and the ability to make the right choices. I’m 43, size 6-8 and live about 1.5 hours from a metropolitan area. I have met two sds in 6 months. If I can do this, so can you! So much of this is patience and care in who you decide to meet. You will get amazing advice here, so ask specific questions and if something doesn’t seem right, go with your gut feeling.

  264. sugarbarbie says:

    opps..I meant that makes sense :”>

  265. sugarbarbie says:

    Thanks Midwest, thank makes sense.

    I return from a really upsetting conversation. Was just called an escort just wanting to use people because I refused to meet for the first date at Mc Donalds. Then he suggested the park…once again no. He didn’t want to picnic in the park…he wanted to “hang out”. Look once I am in a relationship with someone we can go to McDonalds and hang out at the park all the time. Not the first date…I expect more. At least Starbucks or Olive Garden. I am not going to spend hrs looking just right to hang out at the park. He said he was just testing me to see if I was obsessed with money. Whatever.

    Here’s what really kills me, I am not asking for an allowance. In fact I state in my profile that I do not want one. So how exactly am I an escort? Even if we didn’t meet on a sd site I wouldn’t do that. Whatever happened to wooing? What people are calling sugar daddies are what I just call Men. He followed by asking if we can be friends…hell to the no! You think sb’s are escorts! Nothing against escorts but it’s not true and lumping it all together like that is just wrong.

    Sorry for the rant…especially after being gone so long but that just really rubbed me the wrong way.

    So the search goes on. 🙂

  266. Rae says:

    Hi, im new to this whole thing. I too have found it difficult to find someone, maybe its my age, face (i may look young cuz of my baby face), race or maybe its just what i say on my profile. I really am an intelligent girl whos not just in it for the cash and shopping. I do want to go out with someone and just let loose on the town. Paint it red and such. xD But since im a newb im feeling kind of scared about everything. Will he be a creeper? Will he stalk me? If i dont do what he says will he hurt me? Being a young female all those things are naturally going to pop into my head. But im learning to just let go and trust. 🙂 Hopefully it benefits me in the end. 😀
    I could use any and all help if anyones willing to be of such service. 🙂

  267. Midwest SB says:

    B – Glad to hear from you again! I agree with BB in that you have so much going for you and will not be lonely long!

    JA- Hang in there…It only takes one great man to change everything!

    Sugarbarbie – I will tell a potential if I have family obligations. I don’t reveal much about my family until we’ve grown more comfortable with one another. I do make it a point to share that my situation allows me enough free time for socializing and even traveling.

    Rachel – Cheer up! It will get better!

    wrt Lisa – I contacted someone who is close to her to make sure all is well. I haven’t heard anything back. I do agree that she tends to vent and is likely fine, but it’s hard to see your sugar sisters that upset.

    More newbies? Absolutely…and I’m loving it! I do agree that it would help if they had a better grasp of the sugar world. Then again, I learned more off the blog than anywhere else. Fortunately, I ventured in around day 3-4, so I learned early.aå

    Sugar plans – not for the weekend, but looks like he’s coming to town this week!!! Yeah!

    Lady I – What happened to SD who wants to get married and live happily ever after? If you said earlier, my apologies. I’ve been offline for about a week and have missed much.

  268. sb-emy says:

    welcome B,

    hello from sydney! i think we have a lot in common..

  269. Kim says:

    Hello sugar land. I hope everybody is having a wonderful weekend. Is it a great idea for new SBs to attend the party that is being held in NY? Can anybody suggest a resonable place to stay for the night?

  270. sugarbarbie says:

    Hello everyone! I was wondering at what point should a sb mention she has a child? I was reading a dating book and they suggested waiting as long as possible to tell him this. Unless he asked. That made me question how sd’s would feel about a few things. Are kids a deal breaker, how about a separated sb? I find it strange that wow most guys here are either married or looking for NSA that those two things would bother them.

  271. RedMaru says:

    babyblonde – thanks for the tip 😀 I might have to hit you up again when I get my eventual furry addition to my home. I say only one because of what I feel I am able to handle. I’m leaning toward a dog though those cute kittens tugged at me as my neighbor has a very friendly extremely playful young pit bull(not vicious at all surprisingly)

  272. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Ok lunch it is. Where are you going to take me?

  273. babyblonde says:

    B ~ You sound very articulate and well spoken, you already know how to write well. I don’t know how to link profiles, heck I hardly know how to open them. But maybe you can post your About Me and What I am looking for here and we can tell you what we think. You sound VERY smart.

    “I truly dont need the money, I am genuinely interested in older men and I find being respectable (both self and to others) and established sexy =] ”

    Just keep doing what you are doing and with a little luck you will find someone. Guys have an advantage with other men that women don’t have. Gay men tend to help their own kind more and are more expressive of their interest and love for each other. Good luck with it.

    Red Maru ~ How thoughtful of you! I am the same way about animals. I’m glad you are adopting. I have taken classes and I am a certified foster home for the Mayor’s Alliance. It is important that you can provide socialization for your animal whichever you choose. I would say get a dog if you absolutely can only get one. A cat alone for the rest of it’s life without another cat is not as happy or healthy as one that has been nurtured and cleaned by another feline. They get a lot of affection from cleaning each other and it stimulates the brain to grow. Why can you only have one may I ask? and also I would go with a dog if that’s the case if you can get your dog socialized with others quite often. Hope that helps! 🙂

    JA Princess ~ Love your post! HaHa I know what you mean about SDaddie .com Annoying, it’s hard to ignore the majority of jerks on there and weed them out and stay pleasant for the good ones. This has come up before on this blog, and it’s become a dating site like match…not sure why or how that ever happened considering the name is self explanatory. I have met some really good ones on there though it’s a mixed bag I’d say. You even put in your profile what you want…listen to this, one guy wrote just to ask me if he could buy me some boobs, I told him no thanks, to save it for therapy. 🙂 He was being mean and sarcastic of course it was not a genuine offer.

  274. JA-PRINCESS says:


    Maybe im not being persistent enough idk, but whatever..I never sit around waiting for a pot to decide whether or not he is interested, i simply move on to the next. Welcome all the newbies, it takes time and patience, be prepared for it. You have to go thru the less desirables to really build as picture as to what you want and what you definately dont want. So when that right SD comes along, you will knoW without a doubt.

    Ive noticed many new sugars, ran into some who dont really grasp the concept of a sugar relationship but for whatever reason decided to sign up on a sugardaddy site. As if they havent heard about eharmony or match.com. Pisses me off a little bit to be honest, because I dont like people who waste my time. He reads my profile, see’s what im looking for and how much i want a month, then emails me to tell me he doesnt give allowances?? (clueless bbm face) OK, so why bother contacting me? You already see that we’re not on the same page….Very Frustrating!!
    I prefer an experienced SD for sure, there are no rhetorical questions to ask or to answer and he gets the job done in more ways than one, He’s not sitting around twidling thumbs guessing about what is expected of him as my Sugardaddy

  275. babyblonde says:

    Guru ~ $84k is only $2-300 a day. $100k is not a lot to me I guess and I’m at a 33% tax bracket and own two small businesses and still only work part time and have been a professional entertainer and model since i was a child.

    This is a public blog so I would prefer if you contact me. I would love to be speak candidly but I also want to protect my identity.

    Baby Blonde at Yahoo

    Just let me know if you send something here since I don’t check it often…and no, I don’t think you are judging me, I just think you find me a little unbelievable but I come from the land of Sugar Babes and can tell you their is a whole entire culture of Sugar Babes and Sugar Daddies outside of the internet that is thriving and flourishing. Granted it is a lot tougher now with the recession. But I’ve been doing this for many years now and have seen a lot of ups and downs.

    Oops gotta run, write more later Sugar Family

  276. PA Petite says:

    Thanks for the advice and encouragement! I feel kind of bummed though, it doesn’t seem like anyone would go for a young student. Or maybe I just need more patience? I’m so nervous and antsy – does everyone feel this way also when they started?

  277. RedMaru says:

    Afternoon sugarfam…. hows everybody?
    Its a nice day here down in GA. Like Rachel possible sugar…local YAY!. I had planned to spend the day bike riding, writing and watching Ghost in the Machine : Stand Alone Complex and playing God of War III but who knows I still do those things later on today.

    Newbies I’m glad to say I’m seeing more people pluck up their courage and coming out the shadows and whats more comforting ladies in my age group(thirties) are SB

    Still no word from lisa? I hope like ESB says she’s just blowin off steam or she took NC Gent and Texas Sugar’s offer

    On another subject I dropped by my local Petsmart and saw these two absolutely adorable Russian blue kittens available for adoption but I could only take one into my home if I get a cat. Yeah I’m thinking bout getting a pet that much. They’re siblings and I heard that like human children its not good to break up siblings. My other option is a dog

  278. Rachel says:

    Hi all! I’m feeling a bit down so I’ve been a bit MIA lately. What a rough week! On a good note, my lil brother flew up from the south to see me. YAY!

    On to the blog topic:

    Sugar this weekend…. MAYBE… I’m in the process of arranging a 1st meeting with a pot tomorrow. He’s a meet and see kinda guy which is different for me. I tend to like a couple emails (2-3) then talk on the phone before meeting. I’m a pretty good judge of psychopaths and the meet and see kind of guys tend to make me a bit…. nervous.

    Newbies…. yes, I have seen an influx in new people posting. Maybe they are just coming out of lurk mode and getting more comfortable with this, but for whatever reason they’re here… I love it! We were all green peas at one time and we’re all in this together.

  279. TexasSugah says:

    Morning all….

    My #1 SD is dropping by today. I need an infusion, I need a few beauty items. Tomorrow is probably sugarless.. shopping and massages Monday and a Sugar date on Tuesday.

    Ok soooo.. here’s a question…

    I lost a potSD – Mr. Cirque – why it’s my horse (from the other post). He knows my general area of town and that I built my home. He then went on to question me about my jewelry and watch (cmon it was a work watch.. a Movado, please). What’s up with that? I can’t have a couple of decent things. Ummm I have a career, I don’t have to be a SB but I like it.. it’s a challenge.

    He thinks he needs to assist a SB who needs more help..If I hear “you’ll be fine, you’re strong” again from a guy.. *rolls eyes*.. LOL

    *SweetSugar – Best of luck on your date

    @Lady – Oh everyone gets busy. I’m also not in school or working for a bit. But I’ll be back at it second summer session wth classes and working on another certification.

    @all.. I think I’ll toy with my profile again.. not really looking just .. why not???

  280. B says:

    Hi SugarWorld,

    I hope this finds you all well and enjoying wonderful weekends! Mine involves two assignments and study for three exams. This is only the second time that I have posted, but I am a long time reader (I feel like I am writing into a magazine or something of the sort).

    Well firstly, I am a Male Sugar Baby in search of a SD, and I guess that I am just looking for some profile advice. I get alot of looks and even went on a few dates when I was living in NY, but now I am back in Australia finishing off my studies my cup of tea is very bland and sugarless.

    About me (in the hope that people can help me put together a good profile). I am very strong minded and well educated (I am currently finishing off my advertising degree having completed my art history – I want to be an art dealer). I am only young (20), and I just want this profile to portray me both accurately and favorably.

    I’ll admit that I am a bit catty and witchy (witty and bitchy but all in good fun) but I would, and have, gone to the ends of the earth for my friends and family. I come from a super loving family and I think I have alot to share wit someone. I am extremely sane and rational. This is all sounding so conceited and narcissistic, but oh well. Im good looking, slim but not really toned at all, and I have a killer wardrobe all of which I payed for through my own hard work – I always look the part and it secured me entry into the likes of the Boom Boom Room and Bungalow8 when I was in New York even though I was underage and my ID said so.

    I am just want to portray all this about myself with out coming across as a major self obsessed f-wit, but I also dont want people to think that I am some submissive debt ridden crack whore. I truly dont need the money, I am genuinely interested in older men and I find being respectable (both self and to others) and established sexy =]

    I am hoping that some old hands at this can give me a hand. Not sure how I can link you to my profile to give advice.




  281. I says:

    Hi all,

    Thank you for all the postings. They are full of valuable insights for a newbie like myself.
    I remember reading that some of you have generously offered to take a look and give critique on a profile.

    If anybody is available to do it for me, I’d very much appreciate it.

    Have a great weekend!

  282. ESB says:

    Good luck SweetSugar!! keeping my fingers crossed for you! X

  283. SweetSugar says:

    I’m meeting a sugar tomorrow. I really hope it works out. He looks promising.

  284. ESB says:

    Good Morning sugar World!! I have an exciting weekend planned. Headed to the beach. Gotta get my summer tan on!! My last weekend of freedom… maybe. I’m goingto start looking for a part time job with a vengance, unless one of the pots I’m talking with pulls through. Trying to make plans to meet one next weekend. I’m going to be childless, so it’ll be a good time for a meet!

    As for the Qs…Do you have any sugar in store for this weekend? Not really. Unless you count me spoiling BG with my time and attention!! (for those who don’t know, BG = Baby Girl, my daughter) Soccer tournament at the beach. Gonna be a blast!!

    Have you noticed more newbie sugars than usual? Do you have a preference between new or familiar sugars

    On here, yes. I think it is wonderful. We are getting a fresh look at the sugar life through new eyes. I’m loving reading the posts. I don’t always have time to respond, but am here often. My life is crazy busy, so I read a bit, then move on. I do miss my regulars though! <3

    As for Lisa… she does have this tendancy to explode then disapear. I hope she was just blowing off steam, didn't mean anything she said, and will be back all smiles and sunshine with a happier outlook on life. That's just me… always looking for that silver lining!!

  285. LadyIntim says:

    What happened to Lisa afterall? Does anyone have any clue?

  286. LadyIntim says:

    LOL! Michael, I am so glad you came to your senses. I seriously was a little upset at the evident rejection I was showered with earlier this week. You keep forgetting, Michael, that I am currently not working nor going to school, really. SO, I have all the time in the world. And yes, you should be worried about the sudden lack of aggrovation. This must mean you will get bored very quickly, so we better think of ways to make you suffer once again.

  287. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    “Do you have any sugar in store for this weekend?”. You bet. My SB turned up on Wednesday night, and will be heading home Sunday afternoon. Currently up in the mountains, a really excellent time.

    “Do you have a preference between  new or familiar sugars?” I have a pretty strong preference for the one I am with.

    LI? There’s been no aggravation for days now. Should I be worried?

  288. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    LI – I accept. But when would you ever have time for lunch?

  289. LadyIntim says:

    Hello, everyone!

    Lily-you have a message.

    TexasSugah-sorry for disappering, but I got your message and it sounds like you are recovering just fine. Plenty of fish in the sea, girlfriend.

    As for myself, my life is full of wonder and discovery and usual. This evening I went to dinner with an old SD turned good friend and mentor. We had an awesome dinner, where we ran into his ex-wife, but thankfully we didn’t cause too much of a rukus. At dinner I found out that him and his current SB are currently looking for another SB to join them on occasion, and I got the offer that was hard to refuse. Damnit, he is such a good looking SD and we click on so many levels…and even his girlfriend is freaking gorgeous, but I don’t like women. Why do I not have any lesbian tendencies? What is the matter with me?

    Anyway, to ease my pain I made plans to meet with a pot. SD tomorrow evening. We are having dinner and drinks…I won’t mention the reason, but he is VERY different from any other SD I have ever dated, and so we shall see what tomorrow’s date brings. And then on Sunday I have plans to meet another pot. SD, who isn’t exactly my type physically but he seems to have no problem with my requested allowance and NSA rules, and so I catch myself going for a sure thing. What? It’s so easy. Anyway, all this is calm before the storm as my main SD is coming in town and I will be chained to his hip for the next god knows how long…and so I am going crazy while I can. At least there is sugar to cease.

  290. SD Guru says:

    Can’t believe I’m one of the first ones in this blog. Note to self, try to spend less time online in the virtual word and more time in the real world this weekend.

    I’ll catch up on the previous blog and then address the blog topic later.

    @Midwest SB – Thanks for the shout out, the feeling is mutual! 🙂

    @Chitown SB

    But what I have come to realize is that while these experiences may not have been fabulous, they taught me a great deal. Mainly, that I know what my limits are and what I am looking for. I know what to offer and what I deserve in return.

    Every SD/SB goes through a similar learning process at some point in time as they experience the good, the bad, and the ugly in the sugar world. The key is to learn from your experiences and other’s so that you can repeat the good, avoid the bad, and prevent the ugly from ever happening again. The journey in the sugar world, as in life, is a continuous learning process. I wish you luck in your journey!


    Thanks for answering my rhetorical questions. Your answer illustrates that a SD who can provide a higher allowance will be in greater demand. While a SB’s profile that is well written and has attractive pics will get lots of attention regardless of what amount she’s seeking. I think that sounds about right and I wonder if there are other views on this.

    @Viking Hybrid

    I accidentally drank just a tad too much and probably came off as obnoxious. My question: In your experience, how long does it usually take a pot SD to call after your first date? After two weeks, should I just write this one off…

    I can tell you many stories about drunken SB’s behaving badly. I’m afraid if you drank too much then that’s the impression you’ve left with him. Unlike regular dating, there is no stupid rules about whether or when to call back after a first sugar date. An experienced SD is not timid and he will contact you if he is interested.

    @PA Petite

    I see a lot of hot gorgeous SB’s out there, I feel like i’m not at that standard :/ I’m more cute and cuddly than model-esque.

    I’d like to add to the response from Viking Hybrid:

    Judging from IRL experiences, there are plenty of men who love “girl next door” types. Some actually prefer them to the model/stripper/foreign/etc. types. In any case people like variety, so work your niche

    Some SD’s prefer high maintenance model/actress types, some prefer lower maintenance girl next door types, and some prefer a variety. There is something for just about everyone in the sugar world, so find your niche and work it to your advantage!!


    One point is that I’ve read many of the sugars here are flirting with huge allowances.. like 5+K isn’t enough. My guys are pretty average guys.. no millionnaires…. I’m happy with them and they dedicate a pretty large portion of their disposal income to me and the time I spend with them is easy to accomodate… Maybe I’m too soft..

    You’re not too soft. Since each SB’s situation is different, if you have an arrangement that works for you then that’s all that matters. This is not a blog about “my allowance is bigger than yours!” However, if other SB’s stories inspire you to strive for something different, then you should determine if their situation is relevant to yours before proceeding.


    Living in NYC I costs a minimum of $7k a month a decent healthy life That’s without splurging.

    At 7k/month or 84k/year, and assuming that you pay taxes like everyone else, that means you’ll need a job that pays over 100k a year to support yourself. How do you support yourself now? I’m not judging, just asking.

  291. babyblonde says:

    I left some stuff on the previous page that I hope some newbies will find inspiring. Much love Sugar Family!

  292. babyblonde says:

    Yes I have two dates this weekend. Not sure if there is more or less I’m a newbie to the blog. Glad we have this blog it’s good to know what’s out there and I’ve met some amazing people here that have helped me through all the crazyness online and hopefully I have helped some newbies as well. I think it it tough if you don’t know at least one person who has been there through this. Here you can know many people and here all different opinions.

  293. babyblonde says:

    I can’t believe it. First!