10 years ago
Sugar Dating Expectations: 2011


A sugar moment to remember…

In 2010, the Sugar Daddy dating scene or ‘sub-culture’ saw many milestones. Many new sugar moments were experienced last year, from newbies just starting out on their sugar quest, to those who have more experience with dating on SeekingArrangement.com.

There have been many stories and discussions shared by sugar blog ladies and gents over the last year.

Here are some of the resolutions Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies have made here in 2010 and 2011:

  • Using good judgment: Remember and utilize the Sugar Baby & Sugar Daddy tips and advice from the great members of this blog, especially regarding photos, travel, and ‘test-drives’.
  • Paying more attention to the ‘hidden signals’ that are in profiles and emails.
  • Exercising more patience in your sugar search: Plenty of patience is needed in Sugarland, not only to find an arrangement that would be truly mutually beneficial, but also during the course of a sugar relationship. Many sugars have noticed the need for patience even after they’ve found a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby, especially surrounding the issues of sex and money. FoxNews.com recently reported new findings that show “delaying sex makes for a more satisfying and stable relationship later on”.
  • Answering emails
  • Recognize – and accept – that not everyone you’re interested in will be interested in you, and that’s okay.
  • New profile with better photos


Do you have any memories from the sugar blog last year? Care to share?

Leave a Reply

343 Responses to “Sugar Dating Expectations: 2011”

  1. The Lone Gunman says:

    Oh look—a new blog!


  2. The Lone Gunman says:


    Some of them do—but then do some SBs as well. It takes all kinds to make a Sugar World.


  3. dream says:

    Hi again. I was here a few days ago, just mostly just lurk.I haven’t had any chance with SA Yet, some emails and winks but nothing serious.the impression I have is that most of these men expected the SB to pursue them.

  4. Beach_Girl says:

    NYC SB~ Guru did say he would announce the winner today!

    TLG~ Going back to OZ, so awesome!

  5. NYC SB says:

    TLG he did promise to announce the winners today no?

  6. The Lone Gunman says:

    Ladies, stop pestering SDGuru for the results of the contest!

    He said it’s down to three, and I just bet that he’s agonizing over the entries right now trying to see which one is the best of the best. I know *I* would be…

    TLG, who returns to Oz next month!

  7. Goldie says:

    So I took the blog’s advice and waited a couple days to send my SD a text but no reponse.. waited a couple more days and shot out another, but still nothing. Maybe this whole thing is really a case by case situation and I’m smothering him or something! Or I’m being ignored, and he’s found a new girl to get his kicks with. Does this ever happen to you sugar ladies? A couple dates in and then just poof! Nothing.

    Even after a couple months on the site, I’m still getting accustomed to different dynamics of this sort of dating. It sort of fun how the the hunted have become the hunters.. its thrilling and exhausting at the same time. Guess I’m going to go back to hunting again, happy weekend everyone! xx

  8. Beach_Girl says:

    Hi Everyone, hope you had a great day!

    SDGuru~ Who won???? I am way too curious!!!!!!

  9. GenuineSD says:

    @Molly…. I was wondering the same thing

  10. Naughty Molly says:

    Where is everyone? Oh, wait, it’s Friday…sigh..

  11. Bela says:

    Aussie Alleycat – “And why do I live in Arizona and not here?” I’ve wondered that about you several times 😉 I have seriously thought about relocating to Oz. If I didn’t think my mother would hunt me down, I would have been there two years ago.
    Have a safe weekend sugars  I’m thinking about making a day trip back to Nashville to investigate the possibilities of my New Years crush. Not perfect on paper, but he’s nerdy and makes me laugh. Can’t help myself 

  12. Anna Molly says:

    Hey Yaz!! We need to get together sometime! 😀

  13. UKSD says:

    oops..drink in exchange for orgasm!!

  14. UKSD says:

    Reach: thats certainly food for thought..alas I dont know if me and my SB are at that level of commitment but Ill as sure bring it up..lol..or get it up…and the thought of a drink in exchange for a drink?? daamn Ill be up all night!! 😉

    SDguru: please do update, its been fascinating reading them..especially the evolution of a sugar daddy..many comparisons to my life and evolution..I thought I was the only one that had been thru those steps and felt that way. My friends are unaware of my fingers sticky and deep in the sugar bowl!! If you’re ever in the UK would love to have a drink and share stories!!

  15. cleo says:

    yaz: i’ve been known to bring books to shoe stores for that very reason. if i can’t bear to sit in them for half an hour i certainly can’t WEAR them

  16. Yaz says:

    Happy new year everyone! 😀

    Guru~ I can’t wait to hear the name of the winner!!!

    Re shoes: I am not a designer shoes kinda girl…so I much prefer any shoes I feel comfortable and sexy in. I tried some louboutins once while in Vegas and had to sit down after only a couple of minutes. The shoes were gorgeous but oh so uncomfortable. Definitely not for a clumsy girl like me lol..

    Anna~ Hey babe 🙂

    Lisa~ Haven’t had time to catch up yet but I hope you are feeling better. I will pray that 2011 be a better year for you and your family.

  17. Michael Alleycat says:

    Msdiiva – yep. IRL = In Real Life

    Definitely going for that walk now. bye

  18. Michael Alleycat says:

    Cleo – ugh. Beats me. Wife, daughter and I moved to Arizona 7-8 years ago when I got re-located for a corporate gig, covering the west coast. My wife had gone to grad school there (Thunderbird) so she knew the area and some people, so it seemed like a good bet. And it is a pretty good place.

    As you know, she’s gone, so it’s just my daughter and I. All my family is in Oz, so I am looking at maybe moving back here at some stage. Still up in the air. V expensive to live in Oz though! Taxes are high too. BUT – no kookaburras in Arizona!! That sound still stirs my soul – I grew up with it, and I totally miss it.

  19. msdiiva says:

    I totally understand what you’re saying michael, what’s IRL-In Real Life??
    It’s snowing plenty over here, and dreading the thought of having to clean off my car.

  20. Anna Molly says:

    Ahhhh, okay 😀

  21. cleo says:

    anna molly: yeah i set it up that way when i link from the blog 🙂

  22. cleo says:

    alleycat: fair, and thanks for explaining because i really didn’t know what you meant and yet i totally agree with your longer statement 🙂

    and why DO you live in arizona and not there?

  23. Michael Alleycat says:

    Still in Oz, at the beach. Its 5.45am, sun is rising over the surf, bellbirds, magpies and kookaburras singing. Espresso ready, and time for a walk. And why do I live in Arizona, and not here?

  24. Michael Alleycat says:

    Cleo and Msdiiva – not at all. I am a big fan of commitment, it has worked well for me in the past, and still does.

    With the commitment comment, I was implying a long-term, stick-through-thick-and-thin-together commitment. I am also drawing a contrast between IRL and sugar dating. IRL relationships tend to have a different foundation than sugar relationships, and that foundation is independent of the sugar. In a sugar relationship, I am sure that if the sugar was no longer there, in most cases, the relationship would no longer be there.

    Having said that, relationships do shift and evolve over time. I know that some on the blog have ended up married to their sugar partners, and that’s great. If things develop that way, that’s great, but I don’t believe people in a sugar relationship want to get there out of the gate. If it developed that way, and we both wanted it, absolutely I would be all over it.

    But the search for committed relationships it is not why people are here, that’s all. That’s what match and those other sites are for.

  25. Anna Molly says:

    @ Cleo ~ I LOVE your profile photo! Should I be able to see it? I don’t have a profile….

    Hope everyone is having a good day!

    Aren’t we suppose to find out the winner of Guru’s contest today?

  26. msdiiva says:

    @michael, so you would be ok with loving your sb, but not committing to her even if you both wanted it?

  27. cleo says:

    michael: i swear i didn’t say anything about commitment…

    but are you saying a sb isn’t capable of committing? or that you aren’t? or…?

  28. Cleo – I may mix sugar and love on occasion, but I absolutely do not mix sugar and commitment!! Not that silly.

  29. cleo says:

    bela: glad it’s not just me!

  30. msdiiva says:

    @NYCSB, no I didn’t. met him on AM, and everything just seem to work out well.

    I have met just one guy on this site, and he didn’t even really look like his pic. He didn’t seem at all comfortable, which made me uncomfortable, so that didn’t go anywhere.
    I’m noticing a good amount of new profiles, let’s see what they have to offer.

  31. Bela says:

    Ooooh private jet experience. That’s a naughty fantasy

  32. SouthernGent2 says:

    Good morning everyone. Are the men being good to you ladies?

  33. NYC SB says:

    Msdiva – did you meet him on the site? He sounds like he knows what he is doing 🙂 I love the private jet experience … And miss is a lot

  34. Reach the Beach SB says:

    MsDiva- Love it! I’d love to hear how you reciprocated that sugary vacation, but a lady doesn’t tell all ;-).

    Sugar is indeed alive and well!

  35. msdiiva says:

    @ Reach, Well he had plans for us very last minute, and the night before we were to leave he called me up and surprise me by telling me he booked us one of the best private jets!(he’s in that sector of business) So it was the best experience ever, it was just me and him in the plane, with the flight attendant and the pilots. they were so nice and made the trip so comfortable. We flew to Sarasota fl, stayed there a few days, than went to Orlando. Everything was just luxurious, stayed in the best hotels, shopped, dined, spas, ect.. It was just great, this was the ultimate princess experience for me lol

  36. Lily says:

    Msdiiva, amen!!!!

  37. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Typing on the iPad still takes practice! Must proof before hitting post! 🙂

  38. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Good morning sugars!

    MsDiva-do tell!!!

    UKSD- most sugars are watching their intake as well and fancy dinners are so very tempting. Perhaps you two can reach goals together….share an amazing entree, limit alcohol or agree that one orgasm = one drink. Goals met mean a lingere fashion show w a gift or a treatof your choice. You could reach your goal in no time!

    I LOVE my iPad. Its a family-friendly tool/game that earned its price and then some during my road trip. From planing to execution to entertainment, it was WONDERFUL!!! I would recommend 3G to anyone considering it. WIFI is great, but just not available everywhere and im a little nervous about jailbreaking it to connect it to my phone (which would be ideal).

  39. msdiiva says:

    Hello everyone!
    Hope everyone’s having a great new year so far! Just coming back from vaca with my gumar (sd lol)
    I really wish this site had a better selection of men!!

    • SD Guru says:

      where do I start? the last hurragh, mixing love & sugar, peeing in an alley…utterly butterly entertaining!!

      Oh, you’re talking about the exploits in my blog that happened years ago. I have a lot more, just haven’t had time to update my blog lately! 🙂

      Im trying not to eat out at all and alcohol is a definately no go zone…what the hell do I do with my SB??

      I hear sex is a great form of exercise and I’d highly recommend it. You should try at least one new position every day! :mrgreen:

  40. UKSD says:

    Thats ok Cleo, I know what im doin..do’s and dont’s of eating out…just wanted to mix it up and get the bloggers blogging

  41. cleo says:

    (er naughty monkey – lol – too early in the am)

  42. cleo says:

    [by which i mean my income makes me a monkey bay girl, not that i don’t covet some of those prada sunglasses that suit me sooo well]

  43. cleo says:

    DW: i would never buy real louboutins on my salary… but i wouldn’t mind if they appeared in my life (or dior or prada or whatever) – i am more likely to buy frye as my top end and even then very rarely. i’m a monkey bay girl really.

    that said, re the ipad, i just want to play angry birds and beat the game, i don’t actually want an ipad 🙂
    UKSD: it’s micheal who mixes sugar and love

    as for you, you can have a drink you know, vodka and soda or champagne are low cal… and i ate out all last year almost every day and still lost thirty pounds. order your food with salad instead of fries, get water or coffee instead of soda etc… happy to discuss but i don’t want to bore the blog…

  44. Lily says:

    Dandy wine – I also feel zero lust for an iPad. Don’t know if it lasts.

    Dior shoes make me lusty, though.

  45. UKSD says:

    SDguru: where do I start? the last hurragh, mixing love & sugar, peeing in an alley…utterly butterly entertaining!!

    M Alleycat: thanks bro, ure advice has been in line with what every1 else is suggesting.

    lol, an guys Ive got another issue now…Im on a diet & gym plan for the next 3 months at least..lost 5lbs so far but another 40sumfin to go….so Im trying not to eat out at all and alcohol is a definately no go zone…what the hell do I do with my SB?? scrabble any1?? lol

  46. Dandelion Wine says:

    I dont have any desire for an iPad. Why do I feel like this? Is this gonna be forever?

    Re: Louboutins. Define “worth”. For me personally, as I’ve already mentioned, Louboutins are not the favorite shoes. I’m more attached to my Pradas and Diors. I *definitely* do not recommend buying Louboutins if you are struggling to pay rent/bills and/or don’t have medical insurance and a decent bag.

  47. Bela says:

    Just saw Black Swan. I don’t know whether I should be horny or horrified. Has anyone else seen this?????

  48. cleo says:

    SoNJSugar i did that last year, go for it it’s freaking AWESOME!
    good night blog

    • SD Guru says:

      in fact im hooked on the blog and the exploits of SDguru!

      Exploits? What exploits?? 😛

      Btw SDGuru – hope you have picked out a nice restaurant. Looking forward to that steak

      There is still more than a month to go and anything can happen. I know where I’d like to have the steak dinner. The question is who’s going to pay!! 😆

      @NYC SB
      Muse – I have a shiny bra I will wear for you

      Please take some pics and send them to you know where. I’m sure your wife won’t mind! :mrgreen:


      I have selected 3 finalists for the “Name Your Destination” contest and I will announce the winners on Friday!

  49. SoNJSugar says:

    Me, I expect to get my feet wet in the sugar bowl. I also expect to have a new, improved version of me by the time 2011 ends.

  50. cleo says:

    *raises hand* nyc sb might i see pics?


  51. NYC SB says:

    Muse – I have a shiny bra I will wear for you

    Mw- I remember when your lil gentleman entertained himself with a box… Too cute

    Carebear – ooooo what kind did she get! I wanna seeee

  52. Beach_Girl says:

    Nico~ that is awesome, good for you and your Family lol…

  53. Nico says:

    I couldn’t resist…there was so much talk online (blog) about it and I had already wanted one…I just had to. It’s nice that I was able to justify it by allowing it to be the ‘family’ iPad. lol

  54. Beach_Girl says:

    Nico~ Hey girl! I wish … one day

  55. Nico says:

    Beach….I LOVE my iPad….it’s a rather large PSP for my son and a small laptop for me. I’m hooked!! My son loaded the Angry Birds Christmas…it was like an advent calendar…he could only play up to the level that represented the actual date…ie – if it was December 3rd he could only play up to level 3….it was pretty cool 😀

  56. Beach_Girl says:

    So wish I had an iPad….
    Hello sugars, hope you all had a good day!

  57. Muse says:

    Shiny object!!! Where?!?!? 😉

  58. PARISXOXO - AKA Bella says:

    Reachthebeach — Thank you, will do
    SD guru- Totally agree
    carebear – Loves it!! Can’t wait for that day…sigh.
    Bela – EXACTLY!!

    So I flat out asked another “SD” as to why he’s on the site if he doesn’t want to be a traditional SD. Here’s his reply:

    “I seek ONE amazing YOUNG woman in mind, body and spirit. I am not going to pay someone to have sex with me (hell – with my “attributes” women should pay me!”

  59. Ok off to the beach for some body surfing and sunburn, followed by v cold beer. Still in Oz for another 3-4 days…. ta-ta for now!

  60. UKSD – welcome! Basically, talk about it with your SB and you’ll figure it out. For me, i assume every 2-3 days initially is the right frequency, but some days there’ll be several, other days none.

    Like any relationship, good communication is key to success. The sugar relationship – yes it is a relationship – does have it’s own rules, but the great thing is that you get to make the rules! Each of my sugar relationships have been totally different, with varying degrees of success. If you work at it, develop good communication, and take it all for what it is, it can be a VERY satisfying relationship. I don’t think I could ever go back to IRL dating.

    I’m single, and I think my sugar relationships are a little different from those SDs who are married.
    My current #1 and I are doing pretty well, but it does take a little while for both parties to settle into a comfortable working relationship. Btw SDGuru – hope you have picked out a nice restaurant. Looking forward to that steak. 🙂

  61. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Ooooh, oooh. I have an iPad w Angry Birds Christmas edition and have yet to play it. Lovin’ the Virtual sky and foshing game though!

    Angry birds can only be played one way whereas a cardboard box has infinite uses if you use your imAGINation (spongebob reference)!

  62. cleo says:

    [i don’t actually have one but i thought it might be a correct distraction… i do kill levels of angry birds my friends take days to do. they get irked for some reason…]

    there are magic eggs? no i have NOT. must steal neighbour’s ipod…

  63. UKSD says:

    lol…have u found all the magic eggs yet??
    There’s one if you tap the sun!!…..more tomorrow!!

  64. cleo says:

    UKSD: hmmm… nope, but i do have this nice ipad with angry birds on it… and no internet!

  65. UKSD says:

    oooh ooh can i play with it? im tired of playing with this cardboard box!! 🙁

  66. cleo says:

    UKSD: step away from the texting device… here look shiny things *giggle*

  67. UKSD says:

    Cleo: oof thank god you told me that..Im at text 35!! Ill stop now! rofl

    Midwest: thankyou, i think you’ve hit the nail on the head and ill raise the subject next time we meet so we’re both clear.

    Scarlett: Just one man’s view..I dont lack confidence in the least but Id never have the balls to ask for sex on a first meet..just sounds sleazy!!

  68. UKSD says:

    Thanks Nico…and no Im not dissapearing..infact im hooked on the blog and the exploits of SDguru! 🙂

  69. Reach the Beach SB aka Midwest says:

    UKSD – Welcome! I echo Nico’s sentiments and will add that just asking her will settle the matter for certain. If you two can talk about allowances, safe sex, etc., then surely you can talk about how much communication makes her comfortable. I’m not an “everyday” conversation kind of lady and there are many times I not free to talk. I do enjoy the flirty texts and talks during the week, but much more than that does tend to slip into regular relationship territory.

    Scarlet- Welcome! You did the right thing. You can definitely get to know someone without having sex with them. If someone pulls the “see if we’re compatible sexually” line, it’s basically the same thing. Only have sex with him if you really want to, not because you think it will secure an arrangement. Block, delete and keep looking!

  70. cleo says:

    uksd the blog consensus tends to be that every arrangement has it’s own rules but that it’s a good bet that a once in a while dirty or flirty text is good, thirty six texts a day is bad…

  71. Nico says:

    Well, I’m just one voice in here so don’t disappear completely….oh yes, and WELCOME to the blog 😀

  72. UKSD says:

    Nico: Thanks, initially were planning on meeting twice a month and depending on how it goes the odd lunch/dinner. Im separated so talking not really an issue. I guess Im just out of a deep relationship and Im weary of falling into another one. The rules of friendship seem blurry here but Ill play it by ear and see how it goes..will keep you posted!

  73. Nico says:

    @ UKSD – interesting question…it’s usually presented from the SB’s perspective but I think the answer remains the same. It depends on a variety of factors. Is either of you married thereby limiting time to chat? How often are you planning to meet? I would chat with her too to get a better understanding of the boundaries/privacy expectations etc. And….it’s just something you progress into over time. I’ve had relationships where we texted/emailed/phone daily and others that were three to four days apart. Congrats on finding good sugar 😀

  74. Scarlet says:

    @ NYC SB and Nico… thanks for the advice. I’m took it and canceled the date.

  75. UKSD says:

    Hi everyone,
    Ive met up with a potSB. We had dinner and went for drinks..(and yes I did take her a gift..perfume if you must know!). anyway we got on ok and were going to continue onto an arrangement. The thing is, being a newbie to this..how often can i text/call my SB? too little and itll feel like an escort arrangement…and too much i dont want her thinking were in a full on relationship!! Just need some help everyone finding the balance…does this make sense to any1?

  76. Nico says:

    Scarlet….put the brakes on that one and quickly. You don’t get to ‘know’ somebody by sleeping with him. Even on a P4P type of arrangement you still have time together (while clothed) to get to know each other and discover whether there’s chemistry, mutual interest and should the conversation go that far – the allowance. Never PLAN for intimacy on a first date!!! Don’t jump into the sack immediately…your instincts to tell him to find an escort are on course….follow your gut.

  77. NYC SB says:

    I would next him …

  78. Scarlet says:

    First contact with a SD on this site. He’s very straight forward. Knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to say so. He wants 3 or 4 hours to get to know me (great conversation, great sex, and dinner (in that order)). He’s coming to a town near me. I’m thinking I should just say “forget about it, go get an escort.” His reasoning is that you never know when you’re dating or interviewing SDs if you’re going to like them or not so we don’t know if the relationship will continue. Is this just a sleezy way for a guy to get in my pants, give me a little money, then never see me again? Or is he just a cash daddy that wants to have SBs all over the country? He asked me if he should bring money to our first meeting. Advice anyone? Even if I did meet him, I don’t know how much to ask him to bring. Being a newbie to the SD scene, I don’t want one night to turn me off to the lifestyle forever. Thanks for your help!!!

  79. Anna Molly says:

    Yeah…are they worth the fuss?

  80. cleo says:

    god i want a pair of those, are they really worth all the fuss?

  81. carebear says:

    Nyc sb you would be so proud she just lost her louboutin virginity at the original saks on 5th awwwwwwww my little one


  82. Nico says:

    Bela…I have to concur. I met a gentleman on SA, he wanted to be my SD. He SHOWERED me with gifts over the holidays, took me shopping (on top of Christmas), paid a large sum toward my schooling then professed to be in love with me. To top it off, he said he doesn’t want our ‘relationship’ to be about money, despite the fact he made it that way. Then, when he asked me if there was anything I ‘needed’, I proceeded to explain that I don’t ‘need’ for anything because I can address my needs….I wanted him to address my ‘wants’…..if that makes sense. He then got ANGRY with me and said he didn’t want to be treated like he was my sugar daddy??!! Good lord….I don’t know whether I’m coming or going??!!

  83. Dasia says:

    @ Reach the Beach, thanks, I was not sure I could report him. It was a very unsafe feeling thats for sure and yep this site is totally different. Maybe I was just real lucky last time. I never knew about the blog before but have been reading them for about 2 weeks now and you guys have been a great amount of help so far!! Being close to DC I would think it would not be too hard to find a connection, so I am going to hang in there for a bit!

  84. Reach the Beach SB aka Midwest says:

    Dasia – you could report both ids to SA and see if they can/will do anything. Meanwhile, block him.

    As for the rest, there are some great articles on spotting fakes, etc on the blog landing page. I hear that SA is quite different that it was a few years ago. Hang in there, vent to the blog and ask questions. It takes a thick skin these days.

  85. Bela says:

    While I can understand being a man of means in search of love, I still dont understand why they would be on this site or even seekingmillionaire. How do they expect to find love if they know that they are being screened primarily by their income??

    • SD Guru says:

      @Bela & Bella
      “I don’t pay women to date me, and no matter how you slice that it is prostitution.”
      How do they expect to find love if they know that they are being screened primarily by their income??

      Here’s my theory. Most men of means aren’t dumb and they know exactly what they’re doing. So either they’re pretending to be men of means, or they think they can leverage their means to get free sex, ooops I mean find “love”. 🙂

      I’ve slept with him, but PG-13 level action… Can’t I be considered in a different category for this instance?

      I’m a little slow, could you explain how you can “sleep” with someone and only have PG-13 level action? :mrgreen:
      You’re still torturing yourself. Maybe you actually like that??

  86. Dasia says:

    I was new to this about two years ago and I started on SA. I found a SD very quickly and we had a great time! Well now I am back and seeking again, but this time I have tons of pot SD’s email or wink, then I find I have waisted my time on a scam again. I even had one stalk me by setting up a second profile to meet me again. When did it change, and how can you avoid waisting your time? That is wearing me down and quite upsetting. I think the fake profile and set up was the worse so far.

  87. Lily says:

    I’m not his SB or his mistress. Never had a sugar exchange, only 2 dates.I’ve slept with him, but PG-13 level action.
    Can’t I be considered in a different category for this instance?

  88. Enigma SD says:

    ughhhh weigh not way lol

  89. Reach the Beach SB aka Midwest says:

    Lily – Seriously, you’re setting yourself up. Being in love with love is wonderful, exhilirating, passionate and intoxicating, but that’s all. Just as you are the sugary sweetness that he adores, he has not met all sides of you and vice versa. Enjoy the moment, that’s what it is meant to be.

  90. Enigma SD says:

    I am sure that happens Lily. For me personally, I have to agree with NYC SB. When I considered leaving my wife, the situation with my then SB didn’t way into my decision one bit.

  91. Lily says:

    Or match.com

    C’mon guys, sometimes men leave their middle aged wife (infertile, so no kids involved!) for a younger, fertile gal. Right? Or it could happen? Bueller? Bueller?

  92. Enigma SD says:

    Hello all! Last time I had a profile up, I noticed a significant increase in “SBs” that were seeking husbands, soul mates, life partners, etc, so the love connection seekers aren’t just limited to SDs. I also think the increase in that type of SB emboldens SDs to view Sugar sites as dating sites because there are SBs who view them as such… what I don’t understand… why aren’t they on seekingmillionaire or match or eharmony??… maybe they just can’t read or understand!

  93. Reach the Beach SB aka Midwest says:

    Stephan – Quick question…since there are so many men looking for relationships on SA. Is it possible the sugar baby profiles are getting mixed up with the Seeking Millionaire profiles?

  94. Noir says:

    @Alleycat, awe phoey, not normally. Actually going with a few friends.
    @Reach the Beach SB aka Midwest, awe we keep missing each other by a week, ah maybe next time.

  95. NYC SB says:

    Tell him to join eharmony

  96. GenuineSD says:

    ParisXOXO Don’t give up. There are plenty of real SDs on the site. RTB aka MW is right: guys come here for all sorts of reasons. Many should seek their specific answer elsewhere. It doesn’t mean theres anything wrong, other than the fact that you two didn’t see eye-to-eye on expectations. That’s the origin of “screen relentlessly”… this is a journey, with lessons scattered along the way… we’re all learning as we go. Next time, this will be remembered and you’ll cover it and it won’t be an issue, that’s all.

  97. Reach the Beach SB aka Midwest says:

    ParisXOXO – Block and delete honey. Move on. Obviously he has the wrong impression/ideas about the site and you are not going to change them. Hugs!

  98. PARISXOXO - AKA Bella says:

    Morning all! Seriously ready to throw in the towel…I’m so depressed. Just when I think something is going well it turns sour. Sorry to be such a downer, but I needed to vent. 🙁

    Just got this lovely email:

    “The ONE thing I have learned from being on that site is that many of the women are ONLY interested in getting into some wealthy guy’s bank account in exchange for sexual favors. That is surely NOT going to happen with me – I don’t pay women to date me, and no matter how you slice that it is prostitution. I am interested in something real and genuine, and only one. Not a harem !”

  99. NYC SB says:

    Lily – yes people get divorced … But a mistress is rarely ever the motivating factor behind it

    Carebear and college sb – thanks for dragging me out for drinks

  100. Lily says:

    Morning, sugars!!

    Feeling continuously blessed….
    Wondering where the Eurosexy thing will go after a long phone call & invitation to travel together….
    Guru you’re right. Why torture myself?
    On the other hand, people do get divorced…..

  101. Reach the Beach SB aka Midwest says:

    Morning sugars!

    China Doll & Chloe – Welcome!

    Noir – Pooh! I will be there the following weekend. Have a blast!!

    Beach/ Cleo – I now declare you sugar bffs!

    Guru- Love these fun little contests! Hope you are enjoying it too.

    My tree has fallen over for the last time…is this a hint? Here’s your sign!

    It’s definitely a Christmas to remember in so many ways!

  102. Bela says:

    Morning bloggers!! So glad to read such positive things on here. Welcome to all the new sugars!! I think you’ll find that, while we’re in no way perfect or alike, our views are diverse and hearts are open.
    Speaking with a pot, but he keeps me guessing. When we speak on the phone or email each other, there are definitely fireworks, but no further action has been made. My thought is he’s still feeling me out (as I am him) and wanting to see where this might go. Luckily, I may have a project coming that will make me travel to his area. Very optimistic about this one 🙂

  103. GenuineSD says:

    Greeting China_Doll ! and welcome !

  104. @Noir – normally I could make it but I am in oz until Tuesday, when I get back to Phoenix. Do you make it there very often?

  105. Noir says:

    Hello Sugars, is there any chance any sugars (SD/SB) will be be in Vegas this weekend?

  106. Beach_Girl says:

    Cleo~ Very glad we met and are Friends! 😀
    forgot to add that lol…

  107. Beach_Girl says:

    Cleo~ I totally agree, I think we both made a change… Also, we had a lot of the ” He said , She said” bull that didn’t help!
    I do the same, take a step back and think before I let my emotions run wild! I am trusting my instincts and myself more! Also, I am still not afraid to say when I did something wrong, it happens. We are all human and have emotions!
    How awesome that we both grew from that!
    I wish people would see how amazing you are, you are real and trustworthy, honest and generous. You sound like you type but people don’t get your facial expressions and just don’t get it! I am so Happy I got to meet you
    ok, now for real, off to bed…
    Awesome day all around… 😀
    What a love fest here tonight HA

  108. cleo says:

    NM: there is someone i want to spank…

  109. Beach_Girl says:

    AM~Good night

    I think I should get to sleep too, got to get up very early!!!

    Good night sugars

  110. cleo says:

    beach: seriously? i helped you make a change like that? that’s freaking awesome

    i mean really freaking awesome. you changed me too you know, because of your handling of that i handle those things a bit better myself in sort of not taking that kind of thing sooooo personally anymore you know? now, since we worked it out all amazingly and well, when that kind of thing happens i step back more instead of into it as much you know?

  111. Beach_Girl says:

    *** foul words.. lol, omg, i am tired!

  112. Naughty Molly says:

    Thanks Beach! 😀

    Cleo, I’m sure if you think about if for a day or two you can come up with a name, or two….maybe three 😉

    Good night everyone…I’m falling asleep as I type 🙂

  113. Beach_Girl says:

    Cleo~ awww *blushing* I always look up or ask about what I don’t know, it’s the only way to learn! I have been working very hard on myself, I have changed more since the TO meet… inside and out! And it did start with you… 😀 , my spewing of fowl words in your direction?!?!? I realized that I needed to change things … And I did, still do everyday! It’s very hard… there are times, as you know, that it’s harder or that I’m down but it’s doesn’t last! You my dear, are amazing inside and out as well…

    AM~ Awesome, that is great news!

    Today is turning out to be filled with good news! 😀 I love it

  114. cleo says:

    NM: hmm… i can’t think of anyone i want whipped, isn’t that weird?

  115. Naughty Molly says:

    <3 you too 🙂

  116. Naughty Molly says:


  117. cleo says:

    NM: i <3 you.
    okay i officially love the world today. which is nice cause i had no idea how exhausted i was until i fell down and i think maybe i was kinda hateful for several days around that.

  118. Naughty Molly says:

    @ Cleo ~ How about you pick the victime and I will whip him for you…

  119. Naughty Molly says:

    @ Beach ~ Yes, still together 😀

  120. cleo says:

    NM: run with it!
    beach: lol i am always more impressed with the folks who look things up when they don’t know instead of standing around pretending they do. it’s way more useful in the long run.

    you amaze me beach, how are you even prettier inside than out? i mean you’re gorgeous so it’s damn hard but you do it. 🙂

  121. Naughty Molly says:

    I don’t need to enter a contest….I would just pick my victim and whip him until he agrees to sponsor me 😉

  122. Beach_Girl says:

    Cleo~ I had to google that lol… you impress me Always 8)

  123. Beach_Girl says:

    AM~ it’s great to see you too, Are you still with your SD?
    Sorry, been out of the loop for a bit 🙂

  124. cleo says:

    aw shucks guru y’all know i’m jess tryin’ tah impress ye with mah big wurdz

  125. Naughty Molly says:

    Hey Beach!! Good to see you 😀

    Can’t wait to see who wins the contest!

  126. Naughty Molly says:

    Well, I could tell you how the contest should be handled, but, it might scare off any potential entries. On the other hand, you might end up with more entries than you could handle. 😉
    It’s your call Cleo doll…

  127. SD Guru says:

    Most guys probably think pulchritude is some fancy position from the Kama Sutra… 😎

    The contest is going well and I’m about to narrow it down to a few finalists!!

  128. cleo says:

    naughty molly will you please post your “sponsor me as a madam post” please? cause i am nearly positive i will laugh quite a bit

  129. cleo says:

    i love you guys, can i just say that?

    can you imagine what a hilarious contest that would be? i can just see the entries now!

    “i have an excellent eye for feminine pulchritude and feel i can really support the girls in their lives…” [actually, the only madam i know whose girls like her? has a scholarship fund]

  130. Beach_Girl says:

    Welcome new Sugars! 😀

    AM~ hey girl… how are you?

    Guru~ yes, how is the contest going? Can’t wait to see who won!!! 😀

    Madame Cleo~ love it!

  131. Anna Molly says:

    @ Guru ~ How is the contest going?

  132. cleo says:

    china_doll welcome – that we are 🙂

  133. Anna Molly says:

    Hi there Doll ! 😀

  134. China_Doll_DC says:

    I have been watching this blog silently, so I should finally say something. So hello everyone *waves* methinks ya’ll are a lively bunch.

    • SD Guru says:

      can’t moonlight as a madam, freaking sd guru refused to bankroll me!

      Hey, maybe that can be the next contest to select which madam I should bankroll….!! :mrgreen:

  135. cleo says:

    omg *dies laughing*

    i guess i could only hire girls who were excited…

  136. GenuineSD says:

    of wellness….

  137. GenuineSD says:

    Cleo (or Madam Cleo..)
    I think there’s potential in the career option!
    It is another form if wellness, isn’t it ?

  138. Anna Molly says:

    Good evening everyone!! 😀

    Madame Cleo…I LIKE IT 😉

  139. cleo says:

    omg i really said that… lol (yes, i am spending the day in bed resting after nearly collapsing with unnoticed??? exhaustion on monday)

  140. cleo says:

    actually DW? now that you mention it? that’s totally what she said

  141. Dandelion Wine says:

    Gemi, I hate to say this, but “not in the roomie agreement” is NOWHERE close to “Aw HELL NO”.
    It’s closer to “your offer sounds intriguing, but I am worried about breaking a previous engagement”

  142. Gemi says:

    Hmmm NYC SB, I might need your advice too, lol.

  143. NYC SB says:

    Tryingtostayhopeful – feel him out on the first date… If he asks for a second date then email me and I give me more details… I can totally help out

    Me needs a margarita … Badly 🙁

  144. Gemi says:

    Cleo – *lol* one day you’re gonna find an SD who is enamored of the eye patch and won’t let you leave home without it….

    Well I flat out told the guy that “hosting” was not going to happen. And I would never let a guy I barely know into my home… hello…safety what?

  145. cleo says:

    oops posted too fast

    can’t moonlight as a madam, freaking sd guru refused to bankroll me! i mean can you imagine?

  146. cleo says:

    gemi i sent a guy pics of myself dressed in a pirate eye patch and lying on the floor laughing… you want pics you’ll get ’em but good luck using them porn style *grin*

    it is amazing how lame some of these guys are, i am not your girlfriend, i am not your mother and i am most certainly not having you into my home five freaking minutes after i met you so you can ‘test drive’ me you prick 🙂

  147. Gemi says:

    Chloe SB – Welcome! And yes, the blog is a WEALTH of information and great support for both SDs and SBs! I stumbled upon it a few years ago and it was what convinced me to join SA… the SB here are AWESOME and everyone is very helpful.

  148. ChloeSB says:

    Ooops, where are my manners. Night night all 🙂

  149. ChloeSB says:

    A big hiya all.
    I’m new here, both the blog and sugarland.
    I’ve been reading this blog for a bit now and I must say you all have become the highlight of my day.The advice has been so helpful, so a huge THANKS to all SD & SB
    I’m very new to the SD/SB world, I’ve come across a few frogs already but still keeping the faith.
    Being in the UK, I feel there’s a lot less selection so I’m just taking it easy and screening.
    It’s 01:35am so I better get off to bed if I’m to make to university tomorrow, or is it today 🙂

  150. Gemi says:

    So I get off work, get home and now I find the Cleo is moonlighting as a Madame, lol! 😉

    ugh ugh ugh have a young thing that just cannot get the hint. was polite but firm before (he requested I host the meetings at my place, I countered with “not in the roomie agreement” aka: aw HELL NO, and he’s requested I try and skirt the roomie agreement to accomodate him). Now I will have to be extra firm. (and by firm I do mean “Thank you for playing but ain’t gonna happen. NEXT!!”) And oh btw, not even a *mention* of an allowance… this “pls host at ur place” was on the FIRST EMAIL. wtf. lol. if you are going to try and play at being a real SD, at least pony up the money for a hotel room if you are married. making the girl give up her private space for your frolics is so frat-boy-cheap-o.

    le sigh.

  151. cleo says:

    reach the beach: *snicker* i suppose if i were willing to tell him what my real name was i could! they certainly give them!
    sara: i have repeatedly been told that i’m a natural madam actually – rofl – but i can’t do it. i used to drive for an escort agency and it was great when it was a girl who hrm… how to put this, just loved the work… but when you have to drive the one who does it because she’s desperate or because she’s terrified and somehow you feel like you’re contributing to the debauchment of an innocent? oh icky, i couldn’t stand it.
    genuine: those texts are great in both directions, just one every now and then “hey i’m thinking of you” but in a much less polite wording!
    sd guru: *snicker* you want to sponsor the startup costs?
    tryingtshsb: well, start slowly with that and you might get there 🙂

    • SD Guru says:

      sd guru: *snicker* you want to sponsor the startup costs?

      I’ve got more than enough on my plate at the moment. But I understand it’s legal in Canada and I bet you’ll make a great madame!! :mrgreen:

  152. TryingToStayHopefulSB says:

    @Reach the Beach Thanks for the good luck wishes. About to head out!

    @NYCSB I hear you have experience turning a IRL relationship into a SB/SD relationship. Advice?

    @Cleo I wouldn’t mind a rich boyfriend at all! As long as he is more than happy to take care of all my wants and needs. =)

  153. GenuineSD says:

    As an SD I can second ReachtheBeach & Cleos advice on communication. A lot depends on what his expectations are and what he’s comfortable with. Factors such as his schedule, the frequency of your visits together and what sort of things you two need to coordinate on influence the level and frequency of texts. As an SD, it’s always nice to know you’re appreciated, and the occasional tease adds to the anticipation of the next meet.

  154. Sara says:

    ok Cleo and Midwest – Step away from the keyboards slowly…… lol. jk. I love seeing your posts.

    @ Cleo – perhaps you could add another title to your already crazy long job description? You may not even need sugar after that, just become a madam?

  155. Reach the Beach SB aka Midwest says:

    ROTFLMAO!!! Perhaps you can get a referral bonus!

  156. cleo says:

    oh man, i just recommended an escort agency and a specific girl to a guy as a retort to “i’m looking for a sexual relationship only to start”

    is that wrong?

  157. Reach the Beach SB aka Midwest says:

    Cleo- I know…I’m restless today!

  158. cleo says:

    *snicker* our snappy trigger fingers hey midwest?

  159. cleo says:

    san diego sb: gravatar dot com.
    goldie: the occasional dirty text, one or two a week, fine i think… more is a bit weird for a sugar relationship… least that’s my sense of it 🙂

  160. Reach the Beach SB aka Midwest says:

    Goldie – You can ask him what he prefers. If he’s married, it can be a very delicate situation. I can say that most men LOVE to get little texts like that on occasion, but just keep it fun and random. Your role is to keep things drama free and sugary, so keeping contact without being demanding is a great start. Communication is very important so that you two don’t have any misunderstandings, so always go to him first and ask him his preferences. Congratulations!

    San Diego SB- Gravatar dot com. You upload your picture and link it to your e-mail. Then you use the same e-mail here.

  161. cleo says:

    tryingtostayhopeful: that sounds like an SD, don’t ask and look for the signs, they’re there… that said, do you mind a rich boyfriend rather than an SD?
    reachthebeach: thou hast mail milady

  162. Goldie says:

    Hey everyone! I’ve been reading (lurking) this blog since I started on this SA a couple months ago (can’t believe its been that long), and I feel like I have to thank you guys for your advice on screening, it helps a bunch!

    Anyway, I finally found an SD I adore, andI was wondering what your opinions were on talking to an SD during the downtime before meets? Would I come off as clingy if I sent him text messages here and there about how I can’t get our next naughty night out of my mind, should I just wait for him to contact me again? It’s been a week now and I’m getting a little antsy.. over a guy more twice my age, who woulda thunk it.

  163. SanDiego sb says:

    this is actually sad, i consider myself a little computer savvy anddddd i feel like a complete idiot trying to put a picture there 😀

  164. SanDiego sb says:

    well I’ve been a makeup artist for almost 4 years, and i used to work for MAC which was a lot of fun, but Im always looking to expand my knowledge in that area, so now Im really into skin care, so I’m working for shiseido as a makeup artist and since its main area in the product line is skin care i am learning alotttttttt.

    how do you put a picture in the little box next to you’re name??? i want oneee

  165. Reach the Beach SB aka Midwest says:

    Hi San Diego SB!! Welcome back!

    In tekkie mode…just set up my wireless printer and wondering about jailbraking my iPad so I can connect it to WiFi through my phone. Has anyone done this?

    Trying – Good luck. Just enjoy the date tonight. If he’s a real SD, he will let you know. As Lily said, morphing someone into an IRL arrangement is tough, but if he found you, you may have struck gold. Wear your confidence and be fabulous!

  166. Lily says:

    Morphing an IRL contact into an arrangement is quite tough! NYC SB has experience there….

  167. TryingToStayHopefulSB says:

    Hi Ladies!

    Just wanted to say thank you for all your advice and words of encouragement. It’s what I needed to keep trying!

    About to go on a first meet/date. This man is not from SA, but sounds like a potSD. (Thought I’d try something a bit different… ) He is older, well off, and looking for someone, and I quote, “young and beautiful to take care of”. We shall see how it goes. Meeting in a nice restaurant for dinner this evening.

    Any advice on how to turn this into a SD/SB scene, welcome! What to say/do/wear…

    Thanks again!

  168. Sara says:

    @ SanDiego – welcome back doll! What kind of new job? How is everything going?

  169. SanDiego sb says:

    hey sugars!

    i have been completely MIA from the sugar world, getting into the swing of my new job took up a lot of my time during the holidays. I hope everyone had a wonderful christmas and new years 🙂

    im backkkkkkk

  170. Nico says:

    ((((HUGS)))) Reach….no worries 😉 Just playin’

  171. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Nico – Ohhhhhhh….shame on my and my limited car knowledge 🙂

  172. Nico says:

    @ Reach….*shakes head* that’s not a mini but a picture of my Porsche 😉

    @ CultureDaddy…..I don’t find your statements offensive…in fact, I think it’s a great way to remove any emotions from the equation and see it for what it is. Let each ‘couple’ put their own level of emotion into the arrangement but when stripped away, it is as you stated!! Very well said!!!

  173. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Sara – I’ll know who you mean, but others may not 🙂

  174. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Cleo – Do you know your “sweet spot” for your business? That point where your margins are at a maximum before the curve starts to drop again? You’ve been working so hard at the numbers…but are you looking at the right ones? You’re a very intelligent woman, so I don’t want to tell you how to run your business, but as a former business banker I found that sometimes an owner’s focus would get diverted. Just some food for thought. If you want to reply offline, I am spending my day on the couch 🙁

  175. Sara says:

    @ Reach the Beach – I can’t even spell your new name right! Can’t I just write MW still? 🙁

  176. Sara says:

    @ Reach The Bech – I think patience is the best advice ever given on the blog.

    @ Parisxoxo- Thank you so much! I love when I hear the people appreciate my blog.

    @ Cleo- I still have faith you will find the right sugar! He just doesn’t know the awesomeness known as you exist yet, thats all.

    @ Jinna – you won’t get caught up in a scam if you use your common sense. Don’t do anything doesn’t feel right and don’t let the shiny prospect of sugar cloud your judgement.

  177. cleo says:

    midwest: *awesome* rofl!

    *huggs* lady, i am glad you have luck, i know your business life has been less than wonderful last year. i wouldn’t mind so much you know, the luck… it’s just that i’m working SO HARD and my business is taking so long to pick up that i’m really having to work to not lose the faith you know?

  178. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Jinna- The good news is that you’re wise enough to seek out resources and learn more. When I was new, I followed the advice of our bloggers and my instincts and have not had the scares/scams that some have endured (well, one close call). Granted, most men who would be interested in a woman my age are more mature, so I didn’t have to filter through tons of scammers. Nonetheless, this group is invaluable for your sugar journey.

  179. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Cleo – In that case, I owe you a holiday of your choice!

  180. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Parisxoxo- We’ve all been talking about the same thing. Issue is it’s too subjective..one’s person’s offense is another’s fantasy. All you have to do is say the wrong thing to the wrong personality and you end up blacklisted. Same for the ladies…if a man gets upset because you won’t send him nude photos, he could blacklist you.

    If you can find sugars in your general location, chances are they have met some of the same SDs you have. Comparing notes is helpful. SA doesn’t encourage posting profile ids, but if a particular potential is a concern, you can ask one of us offline. I do know SA will look at profiles that are particularly offensive, but it’s up to their discretion on how to address it.

    Reading profiles takes a little detective work as well. There can be indicators written into a profile that warn you of someone who wants a relationship or someone who is tainted and bitter with the process. Pay attention and do your homework.

  181. PARISXOXO - AKA Bella says:

    Too bad we can’t start a rating system/reviews site. Kinda like what yelp does for restaurants lol. I know there’s a site that listed names of the fakes and weirdos, but it hasn’t been updated in a couple years.

  182. cleo says:

    midwest i often joke that i play the lottery so others can win, that i online date so others can find their mates, etc… it’s only funny because there is a core of truth to it ;/

  183. Jinna says:

    thanks for all the advice, i’m starting to think i may not be cut out for being a sugar, it seems there are so many scams and i’m worried i’ll get caught up in one. oh boy i have some thinking to do

  184. Anna Molly says:

    Good Morning!!

    I agree with MW on the sugar thing 😀

    Welcome to all the new bloggers!!

  185. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Cleo – Thanks for the correction. As for sugar, when you hit, it will be a diamond mine!

  186. PARISXOXO - AKA Bella says:

    Thanks Cleo

  187. cleo says:

    ps she means gravatar dot com

  188. cleo says:

    all that said, we aren’t all as lucky as midwest. i’m 39, the typical word used by people meeting me is “stunning,” i’m smart, witty and trustworthy and i think i also have a true understanding of sugar and i’ve been in the sugar bowl for a year and a half and i’ve had two near misses but no arrangements. so, you know, with all due respect to her awesomeness there are other factors at play here… some of them may be luck, some location and some plain old i’m too tall but… i’m not sure anyone can explain why one sb succeeds and one never leaves the starting gate.

    so good luck new sugars, may you have her luck and not mine.

  189. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Avatar dot com will put the picture on the blog. Use the same e-mail for avatar as you do for the blog. Realize that your avatar will show up other places you use the same e-mail.

  190. PARISXOXO - AKA Bella says:

    Wow Sara! Didn’t know you had a blog. Incredible advice, wish I would have read it sooner. I’m following you now. 🙂

  191. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Morning Michael! Better get back to the states soon!

  192. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Good morning sugars!

    Tryingtostayhopeful SB, Jinna and Courtney – Welcome! Being new subjects you to a lot of PJs (Pervy Johns), so definitely be careful! There are great pieces of advice on the blog landing page. Look at the table of contents on the right and read, read, read. Always feel free to ask specific questions. Many sugars have links to their personal blogs which can be helpful as well.

    Both of you have run into fakes straight away. Here are a few suggestions to let men know you’re looking for a real arrangement:
    1- It helps to put an allowance amount instead of negotiable
    2- I actually stated bluntly that I am looking for a gentleman SD, not a one-night stand or a relationship.
    3- Write your profile to reflect you know what it is to be an SB and not to reflect that you are new. There are men who take advantage of new members.
    4- If a man ask for nudes, to meet in a hotel room or test drives, for or before first dates, block and delete. He isn’t even worth a response. Come here and vent if you need to, but don’t get drawn into a useless e-mail exchange where it gives him a chance to insult you.
    5- If a potential wants to send endless e-mails without arranging a date, put him on the back-burner and work on the serious inquiries.
    6- Grow a thick skin and a no-nonsense attitude (while staying sugary sweet of course). If your instincts tell you something isn’t right, it probably isn’t. SDs are out there, but you will have to screen relentlessly.
    7- Don’t give anyone your account numbers. Cash, Paypal or a separate sugar account work nicely.

    Unfortunately some women are desperate enough to accept ridiculous offers and empty promises, therefore it encourages the men to basically spam new members for another hit.

    All that said…I’ve been very successful here and the sugar is WONDERFUL!!! I’ve had help with a job search, generous allowances, networking, travel, gifts, passion, no drama and lifelong friends. I’m 43, attractive, witty, trustworthy, and have a true understanding of sugar. It took about 3 months to find a genuine SD. If I can succeed here, so can you <3

  193. @ThirdWorld – “tell them to f off” … I love being out of the US and hearIng the non-PC response. Roflmao

  194. Sara says:

    @ Texas – Don’t blame yourself hun, that was a productive blog topic, that could have helped a lot of sugars to read.

    @ Jinna – Welcome doll! I would love to help you. My personal email address is on my blog (linked by my name) feel free to send me an email.

    @ Paris – the strange men are defiantly here, but I supposse they need loving too? Just not by me. I don’t ever want to judge anyone for being themselves, so I just say “I am sorry, I don’t think we would be a compatable arrangement. Good luck with your search.” There is defiantly SOMEONE who will want them, the girl to guy ration on SA is ridiculous. I also feel bad for them. They are usually the ones who resort to sugr dating, because they thinkthey can’t get what they want without paying for it.

    @ TLG – I love how you look at travel costs. It is all about trust, and personally I am not so inclined to travel unless I DO trust the person.

    @ Trying to Stay Hopeful – I usually don’t put up with the “test drive” concept. I find it disrespectful. Or shady, like they are trying to be cheap. I have had a man offer a certain amount in the beggining (like 2k ) and than increase it after we got more comfortable. Which I was fine with, because it showed I was earning his trust, and becoming more important to him. But when a guy says he wants to date for 2 weeks and give me no money, I say “that is fine, but it will not be a sexual relationship, this is all about us getting to know eachother and seeing if we are compatable, right?” 😉

  195. @TryingtoStayHopeful

    I have not come across too many of these “test-drive” guys, but I have come across several who want to start the arrangement on a per-meeting basis and want to give me $500 or $1000 or something each time we met. When I first started I accepted a couple of those offers and some of them turned into more and some of them ended up just being thrillseekers out to collect as many SB experiences as possible. It didn’t make me feel like a “hooker” because the men were gentlemen and the dates really were dates and not just hotel meets (and I actually have been a sex worker before briefly and this was in no way similar), but a lot of other sugar sisters are pretty averse to starting arrangements this way, and for good reasons. I don’t choose to engage with potential SD’s this way anymore because even if the one-night-stand is fun and I get some sugar out of it, I am looking for something long-term with someone very generous who won’t treat me too much like a budget item, and I’ve found that I’m more likely to be successful by refusing this type of thing.

    And men who ask for “test-drives” are sleezebags. You’re not a car. Tell them to fuck off.

  196. PARISXOXO - AKA Bella says:

    Oh, how do I handle the “test drive” guys? I’m simply going to drop them. That’s a sign of a cheap-o. I’ve heard sugar daddies arriving with gifts simply for meeting someone EVEN if they don’t pursue an arrangement. That’s what I’m waiting for….

  197. PARISXOXO - AKA Bella says:

    Hi TryingToStayHopefulSB,

    Tell me about it…just when I think I finally met someone, they’re either a fake, flake, or freak! LOL

    The first SD I met wanted a “test drive.” And promised more $$$ if it was good. So intead of 100 dollar gift certificate I’d receive 200? WOW! :/ The reason why he was so cheap was because he was sponsoring Eastern European women plus other local SB’s.

    I’m also getting the same vibes from SD#2. He’s dragging his heels and making promises he can’t keep. I had a feeling after dinner he wanted to fool around and then pay me a couple hundred. Hello? I’m NOT an escort. Besides, a prostitute would charge far more. I think these dudes feel like they’re getting a bargain with a SB.

    Yes I agree, the women are hotter on the SD websites. I think my SD#2 is senile. He’s 67 and thinks he can “get” with a 30 year-old with just buying a simple dinner and giving me a bunch of compliments and promises. I want to slap him and say “You’re not 35 anymore, those days are long gone!” If you want a young, hot girl to show off with and play with, it’s going to cost you.

    They just don’t get it. It takes $$$ to look hot — my gym membership, makeup, perfume, jewelry, wardrobe, skin care, hair appointments, nails, vitamins, etc. I’m not expecting Louis Vuitton bags or flying first class. But I’m definetly worth more than a 50 dollar meal and a couple hundred bucks for a good time. Sorry for the rant, but I’m soooo frustrated with these penny pinchers. ARGH!

  198. TryingToStayHopefulSB says:

    Hello Ladies,

    I’ve been on the sugar search for a couple of years now (since my last match), and it has been a very disappointing time!

    Tell me. Do you ladies come across a majority of men that insist on a “test-drive” before any financial contributions from their side?

    I noticed a few of you mentioned men with profiles stating they did not want a SD/SB relationship. What is that about?! Why are they on SD dating sites? (Because the women are hotter, ha.)

    Seriously, and back to the test-drives and such. How do you handle these situations? And wannabes?

    Thank you.

  199. cleo says:

    TLG the only time it came up for me i was sent money for airfare and ‘incidentals’ and he prebooked a non cancellable room for me in my name. due to our communication history i elected to have him pick me up at the airport rather than send a car but normally i would advocate said car 🙂

    i still think that if the cost of airfare is enough to prove a lady a fraud it’s cheap at twice the price.

  200. The Lone Gunman says:

    Oopsie…with that spelling/typo, can you tell I’m still a bit jetlagged? 🙂


  201. The Lone Gunman says:

    Hello to all the new folks on the blog!

    Travel expenses recently came up for me, and I opted to give the lady a choice: I could make the travel arrangements, or I could send her the money and she could handle them herself (I have a good handle on her re: trust becuse of our communications history). Either way, she gets the arrangements in HER name, which makes it easier for her IMO.

    Fellow SDs, do you handle this aspect of Sugar anty differently? Why or why not?


  202. PARISXOXO - AKA Bella says:

    Hi Jinna, welcome, I’m new too.

    So I just renewed my membership. I probably joined at a bad time (during the Holidays). I just got an email from a big time producer in La La Land…yay right? WRONG! What a freak! Bascially he wants to tie me up in ropes and do some other crazy things. He’s also bi-sexual and we’ll just leave it at that….please pray for me!!!!

  203. Jinna says:

    so i’m a new SB and i have tons of questions…anyone wanna give me some answers?

  204. TexaSugah says:

    Sara- that one. It all started with my post about the SD great vine about travel expenses. It digressed quickly.

  205. Sara says:

    @ Texas- I am confused doll, what other argument turned Foul today? Other than the one where SB’s were named personally?

  206. PARISXOXO - AKA Bella says:

    Run Courtney Run!! I’m a newbie too…but that guy sounds slimey. EEEK!

  207. Sara says:

    @ Courtney- Ask the SD’s on the blog, they would never think of doing anything like that, trust your gut. There are real SD’s and they don’t do things like this man suggested.

  208. Anna Molly says:

    @ Courtney ~ Trust your gut! You know that it isn’t safe so stand your ground and instist on meeting in a public place. Don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with and if he is a true gentleman he will understand this. You aren’t being rude, you’re being smart and safe. 😀

    Kinda reminds me of the guy who offered me $250 for a night at the Super 8…sheesh!

    Welcome to the blog 😀

  209. Courtney says:

    @Sara –Thanks so much. That’s what my gut is telling me too, I just wanted a little bit of affirmation. Definitely, he seemed so anti just getting coffee or dinner or having any other sort of outing.

  210. Sara says:

    @ Courteny – First of all welcome, second…RUN (don’t walk) away from him. At the best he is wealthy and looking for an escort, at worst he is a fraud and will MAYBE give you like 100.00. And let’s not even get into possible rape scenarios. Always meet in public, and if you are not comfortable with sex so soon, don’t let a guy pressure you into it.

  211. Courtney says:

    Ahh, so I have a question, and I really couldn’t find another place to post, so I’ve decided to try the comments page out.

    I’m completely new to the whole SB/SD arrangement, but ever since I’ve registered, I’ve been getting a decent amount of messages and I’ve been finding it difficult to sort through everything to determine who’s serious, and who just seems to be after a one night stand.

    One guy who I’ve been talking to wants to meet at the Holiday Inn in my city. I just… Not to be rude, but the holiday inn isn’t exactly the classiest hotel around… by far. I’m also really just not comfortable meeting in a hotel room for the first encounter. I’m not 21 (he knows this), so it’s not as if we can just grab drinks at the bar. Actually… I doubt the Holiday Inn actually even has a bar in the hotel… :/ It seems like he’s being very forward, stating that the further I decide to go that night, the more money is in it for me. It just sort of feels like we’re toying with the escort/sex-for-money line here.

    I’ve definitely been approaching all of this with a more cautious sort of attitude, so maybe I’m just being a bit paranoid? I don’t want to do anything that would put me in a compromising situation, but at the same time, I don’t want to just sit around and let potentials pass by .

  212. PARISXOXO - AKA Bella says:

    My apologies, didn’t see there was another Bella. So how do I get a little picture thing next to my name?

    @reachthebeach – Thank you 🙂 Agree, I really lost respect for him when I called the spa. I felt like such an idiot. But my gut was telling me something was off. This just proves he’s a CHEAP-O. It’s actually the SECOND LIE. On his profile he said he was 54 and I did a background check and he’s actually 67!

    @AnnaMolly – Yes, I think you’re right! He never will be.

    @Lisa, sorry to read about your dad. 🙁

    Ok forum, so what is up with these men that post profiles stating they don’t want to be a SD??? For instance, I had someone contact me asking me what kind of relationship I wanted. I explained the traditional SB/SD. He responded that he was NOT a SD and wanted a relationship that would lead to marriage. Ummmm then why are you on a sugar daddie website?! SO frustrating!

  213. Arcadia SB says:

    Guess i have no excuse but to write my essay. ::le sigh::

  214. SouthernGent2 says:

    Guru – You feeling lonely and desparate tonight? I will call you a goat. Some of my fraternity brothers from college should be able to get ole easy Gertrude for you 😉

  215. Bela says:

    Okay, all I read just then was “blah blah blah…fancy website talk…blah blah blah” 🙂

  216. stephan says:

    @Arcadia SB: Those comments were deleted by request of the poster (she had a comment get caught in moderation due to random matching of numbers in her comments text and a blocked IP address) – I must have missed one of the comments to be removed and the confusion still ensued, my bad. This time we’ll let the record stand 🙂

  217. SD Guru says:

    Did somebody call me a goat?? 😆

  218. Arcadia SB says:

    @Lily – I know exactly what you mean. Really, until I started sugar dating it was always “this is such a bad idea, but I know I’ll go if he calls.” For me I think it’s an instant gratification complex, I’d rather feel good now and bad later than bad now and good knowing I did the right thing later. At least you are aware that it’s a bad idea. Didn’t GI Joe say that knowing is half the battle?

    @All – no I’m glad the drama subsided. I love reading all the happy blog stories and the lovefest stuff, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Though, the dark side of me likes watching a flame war…from far far away….and the billy goats gruff have to triumph over the troll…not to say anyone here is a goat….oh dear. I give up on analogies. Is it happy hour yet?

    Now tis time to finish my first gradschool app. Due tomorrow and is my essay written? nope, of course not. did I go to yoga instead of working on it? yes I did. At least I’m in a properly relaxed frame of mind to make my essay totally amazing.

  219. Sara says:

    @ Midwest – Is bibaby ever coming back to us?

  220. Reach the Beach SB says:

    I heard from BiBaby and she is fine!

    Lily – A heart breaks and it heals. Just be careful as you may be in love with the fantasy.

  221. Lily says:

    I spent some time this evening on the phone with Eurosexy. He is still married, though doesn’t see her the majority of the time. He’s been in therapy to deal with his dad’s passing from a year ago & his issues and he is going to email me his travel schedule tomorrow and wants to see me wherever/whenever i am able.

    I know I’ll go and I know it’s a bad idea. I’m gonna fall for him all over again and given that he’s married and that’s going to lead to fruitless ‘leaving the wife’ talk, it’s all just so predictable. Yet I can’t not see him, I miss his smell.

    Honestly? I hope I see him & it’s not the same & the spell is broken & I don’t want him &
    I’m free.

    • SD Guru says:

      I’m in the process of sending out follow up questions to contestants and narrowing the entries down to a few finalists. Still on track to select the winners by Friday.


      After two and a half weeks, you deserve a little drama

      I don’t have an entitlement attitude so I know I don’t deserve anything! 🙂

      SD Guru: was it a nice vacay?

      Yes it was, with lots of sun, sand, and snow. Thanks for asking!

      what’s the fun of reading the blog if you don’t get to read what happened! the end of the fight is no fun

      It may be fun for others, but it’s not much fun if you’re the ones directly involved in the drama.

      I know I’ll go and I know it’s a bad idea.

      Why do you torture yourself with something you can’t have? 😕

  222. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Lisa – for what it’s worth, I hope you and your family are adjusting…my thoughts are with you.

  223. Arcadia SB says:

    Yoga class starts up today…gotta work off those holiday pounds 😉
    Happy Tuesday!

  224. Lisa says:

    I’m ok, I just wish I had some time off to get things together, mom really needs my help cleaning her apartment for inspection but I have no time off hardly. I usually have 3 days off every week but the boss is working overnight so we’re shorthanded and ive got extra work and stress.

  225. Sara says:

    @ Lisa – I am so sorry honey – hang in there.

  226. Lisa says:

    Hi Cleo, i’m doing ok, STILL waiting for dad’s ashes, they are going to bring them to us so we don’t have to go all the way over to the crematorian to pick them up. Funny thing someone who knows him said they saw him walking in the mall christmas eve, he was in the ICU christmas eve, must have been his ghost. Now i’m trying to help my mom move to a smaller apartment a few doors from where she is now but work has been so hectic and tiring I don’t have any energy or any time and she needs to have her apartment in order by the end of the month. there was a death clause in her lease so she and my daughter are moving from their 2 bedroom to a one bedroom which is 300 dollars cheaper. She will get my dad’s ss check instead of hers now but it’s not much. Trying to plan a memorial service for the end of january but neither my daughter or I have any time to concentrate right now.

  227. cleo says:

    lisa *huggs*

    also? well stated milady.

  228. stephan says:

    @Cleo, Midwest, Sarah: Thanks for the alert guys I didn’t even notice that! Yikes… pingbacks are great and all but shouldn’t be posted in the middle of the comment threads – I will remove and change the settings now. Thanks all 🙂

  229. Sara says:

    @ Culture Daddy – I like how you look at it from a bussiness perspective, but I also look at it as ettiquette. If a man is asking you to meet him, surely he will make sure it is possible and not a burden (financial or otherwise) I am not saying he NEEDS to send her money, I could see how that would be an outlet for scams, but if it is long distance travel – provide the flight in her name or train or boat or whatever. lol. If it is shorter distance, I am ok with him promising to reimburse you for gas. As an SB, I would never travel somewhere, where in the event he was a fraud, I couldn’t get myself home or couldn’t afford to take care of myself. So if he flakes and I have to use my own money, it was an expensive lesson learned. And if none of those options are good, he could offer to meet me in my town. Where I get rubbed the wrong way is when they don’t want to offer to pay or accomodate you at all.

  230. Sara says:

    @ Cleo – haha, well now don’t I feel dumb. Pssh, duh, of course it was a pingback…..everyone knows that. lol. 😉

  231. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Culture Daddy – here, here.

    Cleo – So true! James didn’t respond to my first e-mail, so I contacted him again a few weeks later. I was so new, so I certainly wasn’t following advice, but I was following my instincts. They certainly were spot-on!

  232. @Sara – I was sleeping. I’m in australa at the moment, and right now it’s nearly 9am tomorrow.

    Much as I love the blog, I try not to read and contribute at 4am. But that’s just me.

  233. cleo says:

    guys it’s a pingback. someone linked the post and wordpress has an app that makes that a comment. it doesn’t ‘mean’ anything

  234. Muse says:

    CultureDaddy, that was very well put. Thank you for that.

  235. cleo says:

    Culture Daddy: that is almost EXACTLY my take on it as well

    sb provides her time, her friendship, her smoking looks, and a hrmm safe haven so to speak – willingness to not nag or demand more time or whatever

    sd provides his cash, his mentorship and friendship and a certain something else which is indefineable…

    but fundamentally yes, we provide oasis time, you provide cash

  236. Bela says:

    NYC SB – I’m with you. If he’s not contacting you or trying to communicate to you that he’s interested, he’s not.

  237. Sara says:

    Woah – What IS this other blog link?

  238. cleo says:

    nyc sb: well, in the old days when you didn’t get email for favourites it was useful to see, now not so much since you get that email right?
    reach the beach i like winks for that, allows me to make the first move while still leaving the ball in his court…

    that said, i am recalling that your first SD didn’t answer your first email, if you had that mentality then you might have missed a great experience. so hard to guess where to dance sometimes hey?

  239. CultureDaddy says:

    It may be dangerous for me to add to the Cash to Strangers debate at this time, but it seems to me that the normal rules of business – and I believe we are all trying to show that an Arrangement is a business arrangement – allow for expenditure on Marketing.

    So, from the SB’s perpective, marketing expenditure should be her (or his) time – since time is the currency which SBs bring to the arrangement marketplace. On the other hand, for SDs, their contribution is cash, so it is reasonable that their marketing cost should be in cash.

    This seems to imply that SDs should pay travel expense as a marketing cost, and should expect that some of that expense is fruitless in the same way that the cost of a marketing “lead” that does not produce a sale is an understood write-off for any business.

    Of course this not a black and white rule and is all subject to assessment at the time of how likely the “marketing lead” is to lead to a “sale”.

    Hope I am not totally freaking peopleout by applying business-speak to the lovely arrangements that you guys have achieved! 🙂

  240. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Where did that other blog link come from?

  241. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Michael – You’re funny.

    NYC SB, Sara, Cleo – I take the “he’s not that into you” mentality when it comes to views/ favorites as well. I understand being busy and I was one of those who would favorite people with the intention of going back to contact the ones who interested me the most. Sometimes I did, sometimes I got too busy. I have also heard of ladies favoring a guy to get his attention. I think that’s in vain as these men receive so many e-mails.

  242. NYC SB says:

    Cleo – sure he may not be completely disinterested but if he viewed and didn’t email or favorite I would think he is not overly excited about communicating with me 🙂

  243. cleo says:

    nico: thanks bella, i guess i am… i always call it like i see it… (hmm maybe that’s where all my SD potentials go *grin*)
    midwest *hugs*
    bela: i went on a date with the younger SD type i randomly emailed, nice guy, just wants to shag 🙂

    as for the cub who was actually a man? i blew it in a really asinine way (seriously, never ever made a mistake like that with a man ever), too bad, he was the type one could actually imagine dating for real… unexpected to even think that at this point.

  244. Sara says:

    @ Cleo – I treat the private photos just like I treat guys who ask for additional photos through email. If the first thing you say to me is “Can I see your private photos or more photos” than that is the first impression I get of you. That you are boring, probably can’t write or converse well and only want to see me in less clothes. Tough luck guys, you chose to make that your first impression.

  245. cleo says:

    nyc sb i look at a lot of profiles, i favorite a lot of profiles, i email very few of them. is it an indication of disinterest if i look/favorite you but don’t email? i don’t think so… more an indication of busyness!
    so, i put a bikini photo in my ‘private’ photos and now all i get are emails that are like “can i see your private photos” and i don’t get it. some of them are way rude, like i email an SD and i get back “i need your private photos doll”

    icky and creepy basically always. not one has made me WANT to share them

  246. Sara says:

    @ NYCSB – Thats what I was thinking, like “crap, I don’t want to see all the guys not interested in me. ” lol. But Nico said she saw a few men looking at her profile several times, etc.

  247. NYC SB says:

    If someone viewed you but didn’t favorite you or write back doesn’t that indicate that he is not interested?

  248. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Nico – I would love to drive that Mini!!!

  249. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Sara – I did the upgrades occasionally, but I couldn’t say it was instrumental in my meeting my SDs. I loved the advanced search feature out of all of the benefits!

    Nico – Doesn’t your profile come up as new in the searches when you edit the text or pictures too?

    Cleo – <3

  250. Sara says:

    @ nico – I just meant I would do it for a month and than who knows….maybe again in 6 months, etc.

  251. Nico says:

    @Sara…..my first SD and I met because I wrote him after he viewed my profile…I initiated….he picked up on it and it was a great arrangement 🙂 Kinda like the guy at the club….you can see ‘interest’ on their face but they may be too “whatever” to not make the first move 🙂

    I think, as an SB, you can only upgrade for one month at a time. I was never able to do more than that; however, I kinda liked it because each time I upgraded it put me back at the top of the search 😉

  252. Sara says:

    @ Nico – p.s. the diversion was necessary, I can’t even say anything more to that conversation. Just had to let it go. lol

  253. Sara says:

    account* Awkward typo, sorry dolls.

  254. Sara says:

    @ Nico – thank you so much for the advice. I already see who favorites me with a standard accunt (it sends an email to me, and I can click on that), and I was actually thinking that seeing who viewed me and DIDNT send a message would be detrimental (like who wants to see who looked but wasn’t interested, lol) but I see your point! I am thinking I will do it for a month, but not long term, it isn’t vital to my search, but might be an added advantage once in a while.

  255. Nico says:

    ((((HUGS)))) to Cleo…you’re a feisty one 😀

  256. Nico says:

    Hi Sara….happy for a diversion from the existing conversation I would like to give my two cents 😉

    I would’ve, on occasion upgraded. The benefit would’ve been, first off, that my profile was highlighted and therefore drew more attention. Secondly, I would be able to see those that viewed my profile. Sometimes there was interest though they didn’t take the time to write (i.e. visiting my profile multiple times) so I would take the initiative and write them. Thirdly, I believe it also shows your profile as being ‘new’ and brings you back to the top of searches thereby providing you with more exposure. I typically would notice about a 50% uptake in interest using this.

    Just my two cents 😉

  257. cleo says:

    sara: being able to see who favourites you and who views you. otherwise i got nothin’

  258. Sara says:

    Question to all the premium members, I am considering upgrading (even though I have pretty good luck with a standard account), but I can’t really find a clear explanation of what the benefits of upgrading are. I know the premium accounts are orange and stand out more, and I know there are more detailed searches, anything else?

  259. SD TWICE says:

    In terms of Guru’s Q yesterday, how much do I need?…maybe in 2011 we’ll find out. LoL!

    I’ve been having more than I need for a while. Right now I have more than I want. But you make commitments and stick to them. Usually these things take care of themselves quickly, but what I mentioned as unusual is that is taking longer than normal, which resulted in my having more than I want.

  260. Sara says:

    @ Cleo – It is ok, I am enjoying it doll lol

  261. cleo says:

    Sara: lol – this cracks me up, in person i’m basically always fiesty although i’ve been told that my comments are a lot softer when you can see my face and hear my voice. apparently i can be far more blunt than i intend when i’m online


  262. Sara says:

    @ SD TWICE – it makes perfect sense acutally, in order to use an e check, all you need is an account number and routing number. Or to order a new set of checks…..

  263. Sara says:

    oooh Cleo, I like your feisty side!

  264. Muse says:

    …or inherently lazy.

  265. NYC SB says:

    The system survives because the average joe doesn’t realize this and most people wouldn’t think of doing so… Most people are inherently good

  266. Bela says:

    What if we’re super good? Do we still get spankings? 😀

  267. NYC SB says:

    Actually if someone made a fraudulent charge you are only legally responsible for 50$

    It is a federal offense to use someone’s bank account fraudulently and they will track you down for it

  268. SD TWICE says:

    I’m still mystified by this assertion that your money can be stolen using your routing and account number – which appears on every check written.

    How is it the system of bank accounts and checks survives this at all! LoL!

  269. Naughty Molly says:

    My goodness!! I guess Naughty showed up at the right time!

    Let’s all play nice now, I don’t want to have to spank anyone! However, if someone asked for it, well, that would be a totally different story.. 😉

  270. cleo says:

    SD Guru: was it a nice vacay?

    you can’t be that surprised about blog drama, i mean it’s the blog, it has drama *grin* but i confess i was kind of impressed with the calmness of the responses. that said, naming names is uber tacky isn’t it?

    welcome home dear *grin*

  271. Bela says:

    After two and a half weeks, you deserve a little drama 😉

  272. SD Guru says:

    First day back at work from my 2.5 week vacay and the first thing I get to deal with is… blog drama?? I rarely put my moderator/admin hat on but sometimes you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.

    I’m going to sound like a broken record and remind everyone again of the “Blog Etiquette“. Sometimes people don’t know how to agree to disagree and move on, then resort to personal attacks and name calling. We’re all mature adults here (I think) and I expect better behavior from my fellow bloggers. I have removed the offending posts so let’s move on. Yes I know it’s subjective but that’s what moderators do.

    Now back to your regularly scheduled programming and please play nicely! 🙂

  273. Bela says:

    If you paid her with a check, you might be able to stop payment (with a bank fee.) But I think if it’s already been paid, you might as well just take the loss. Be careful SD TWICE. That’s sugar karma you’re playing with.

  274. SD TWICE says:

    Hey, now I’m thinking maybe I can get my money back from the girl who skipped out on the airfare recently 🙂 LoL! This could be a new Money Back Guarantee program for SDs!!! 🙂

  275. Sara says:

    @SDTWICE – yes anyone you write a check to could have that info, but how many people are you writing checks to, that you have never met?

  276. Bela says:

    Of course, people have access to your accounts when you write checks. That’s a big reason why many people choose not to write checks anymore. That and it takes too long to fill them out.

  277. SD TWICE says:

    NYC, based on what you said and the original question as well, anyone you’ve ever written a check to would have that much info, and sometimes more, and could steal your money.

  278. Lily says:

    Bela – yes I do. I need the wow. We never even had sex. It was the eye contact, making everyone around us sick to their stomachs with the obvious nooning at each other, kissing, staying in each other’s arms all night, snuggling in bed all morning & half the afternoon. We only met twice, but spoke every day for 3 months during that period and let a few things slip out that we shouldn’t have. Every possible string attached was wistfully longed for out loud. By him. And then me.
    Broke Guru’s cardinal rule. And it stung like hell when we stepped back & took a break.

    Meeting him again is probably a mistake. I can’t see it being casual.

  279. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Cleo/ Bela – Paypal charges 3% for $500 and over and you can mention that to the SD. He will likely cover the cost. I like cash and also have opened a second account that is convenient for him to make deposits. Cash deposits don’t give a paper trail. Some banks even offer a “deposit only” card that prevent any withdrawals. Trust is definitely a factor with accounts, but if you keep it separate from your everyday account you have some protection.

    GenuineSD – (((hugs)))

  280. NYC SB says:

    sd twice – I could divulge the secret but I’d rather not 🙂 don’t want to give lurkers any ideas

    I do have a blog entry about money exchange so if anyone is interested can take a look … Any specific questions will be answered via email

  281. SD TWICE says:

    NYC SB
    January 4, 2011 at 8:33 am
    Note that if you provide someone your routing number and bank account they cannot withdraw money from your account. However they can use that info for purchases.

    Can they really? This is the first I have heard that there is a way to use that info to cheat someone. How is it done?

  282. Bela says:

    NYC SB – I like that idea. Is there anyway to ensure security for the SD in terms of taxes or possible audit?

  283. cleo says:

    nyc sb i never use paypal if i can help it, it costs too much to get my money. no reason why cash, cheque or prepaid cc won’t work just fine… personally i like cash 🙂
    ahh miss midwest we’ve all let trolls get to us, nice to know you’re human too! *grin*

  284. SD TWICE says:

    January 4, 2011 at 8:26 am

    In terms of travel, I have met with someone who did not provide any travel expenses. It was not an issue of security or trust. I did so because I was already traveling and driving to meet him was not an issue. If my main purpose of travel is to meet a man, I would not have an issue with paying for SOME expenses. In my opinion, if a man wants me to travel to see him, major expenses should be on him. I’ve had men invite me to come to them and stay at their house, but ALL out of my pocket is not an option.

    I don’t know when is too soon to ask for money (since I don’t ask for money until an arrangement as been established) but when a man begins to push a meet date, I do think it’s appropriate to discuss travel arrangements. Perhaps you think I am also of poor character for this, but I feel it’s essential. I don’t expect to fly first class and stay at the Ritz with a luxury rental car, but I also don’t expect to pay for everything while he risks nothing.

    You are in the right ballpark with all of that. Then it comes down to the particular situation what actually transpires.

  285. NYC SB says:

    Note that if you provide someone your routing number and bank account they cannot withdraw money from your account. However they can use that info for purchases. So having a sugar bank account with no money in and adding on the no cash advance solves all your problems. Pay pal charges a fee for anything over 500$

  286. SouthernGent2 says:

    Anna Molly – yhm

  287. Bela says:

    Lily – Just because your motivation for this trip isn’t monetary, does not mean that you’re a chump. You’re still a woman and desire that sensual wow.

    In terms of travel, I have met with someone who did not provide any travel expenses. It was not an issue of security or trust. I did so because I was already traveling and driving to meet him was not an issue. If my main purpose of travel is to meet a man, I would not have an issue with paying for SOME expenses. In my opinion, if a man wants me to travel to see him, major expenses should be on him. I’ve had men invite me to come to them and stay at their house, but ALL out of my pocket is not an option.

    I don’t know when is too soon to ask for money (since I don’t ask for money until an arrangement as been established) but when a man begins to push a meet date, I do think it’s appropriate to discuss travel arrangements. Perhaps you think I am also of poor character for this, but I feel it’s essential. I don’t expect to fly first class and stay at the Ritz with a luxury rental car, but I also don’t expect to pay for everything while he risks nothing.

  288. Sara says:

    @ SD TWICE – I don’t know about your personal experiences, there are always two sides to every story. My only point was, that if a girl is willing to give all sorts of compromises, the least you could do is pick one. She can;t do all the work and just arrive at your doorstep with a pretty little bow.

  289. SD TWICE says:

    Sara, Sometimes I go. It depends on my situation and the other person, and a bunch of other things.

  290. Sara says:

    @ SD TWICE- If you aren’t comfortable sending money, are you at least willing to go to them for the visit?

  291. SD TWICE says:

    Gen, I’ve done as you describe and sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t. So if you do it, you have to be prepared for the losses that come with it.

    Similar to “No matter how much he or she may blame you for not trusting them, NEVER SEND MONEY to a stranger.” – No matter how much the SBs on this blog insult me, I am going to continue to give the correct advice.

  292. Lily says:

    So much better when a gentleman travels to a lady….

    That being said, I have flown to a dinner with a stranger multiple times.

    Anyone remember how floored I was by the good looks & charm of Eurosexy, who I traveled to a Nordic country to meet? That hotel suite was out of this world and I think I wanted to jump for joy when I saw him but them promptly cursed the heavens that he was married and thus the position of Mrs. eurosexy had already been filled.

    He contacted me & asked me yesterday to finally have a third visit, which never happened last spring (after the first two amazing, intense, not-really-sugary dates). He is not an SD and I assume he’s still married. But the chemistry. Wow. And…. I dunno, I think I’m gonna fly to meet him if the dates work for my calendar. I have missed him.

    I’m a chump.

  293. Sara says:

    @ Bela – who said there was anything wrong with dirty? 😉

  294. Bela says:

    hmmm I could change mine, but I’m not creative to think of something clever that isn’t dirty 😀

  295. GenuineSD says:

    RTBSB & SDTwice. As I see it, there are a multitude of scenarios but basically the clear-cut ones sort themselves out along a couple of lines:
    There are the pot-sbs who, on the first or second phone call or email give you their sob story and ask you to wire $$… That’s a definite “next”.
    Then there are the pots that you’ve talked/emailed with, screened and established mutual interest to proceed to the next step. That’s a whole different deal…
    Of course the gentleman will offer to cover travel expenses for the lady and do so in a way that ensures some security for both, right ?
    The SD will purchase the round-trip transportation in the sbs name, obtain single accomodations, pre-paid, in the sbs name and provide ground transport to and from… that’s the gentlemanly thing to do.
    You try to anticipate her expenses and security concerns and handle them proactively and up front.
    The sb, on the other hand needs to take responsibility for communicating clearly and regularly. She needs to understand that there are as many fake-sbs as there are fake-sds and understand that your pot-sd may be tired of getting burned.
    Both parties concentrate on confidence building from the start….

  296. Sara says:

    @ SD Twice/Lily – I am a very diplomatic SB, if a man does not want to send me money electronically, I understand and tell him to come here to meet me. I am willing to wait until his schedule allows, and If neither of those are an option, I am inclined to think he is not a real SD. Surely a man of means and intellegence can take all of my options and make something happen where both parties are comfortable. I don’t want him being uncomfortable with sending me money, nor do I want to be uncomfortable traveling on my own dime to meet someone that may or may not be worth my while.

  297. Lily says:

    BiBaby has not been in touch for quite awhile…..

  298. Lily says:

    I would argue that number one warning on SA are about safety precautions. Risking one’s safety is a far more urgent matter and worth cautioning, in my opinion, than risking a modest amount of travel expenses.
    Think about it, who’s life is affected more adversely: the SB who travels somewhere for a man she met on the Internet & then things went badly for her, or the SD who sent travel expenses electronically to a woman so she could come and meet him in a convenient time/location for him, but then she never showed….?

    The SDs who are hysterical about the prospect of losing travel compensation should perhaps screen more thoroughly and exercise some character judgment? Judgment that probably made them successful in the first place?

    Of course, if you’re in a huge hurry to book a different female into every single available slot in your calendar, then you probably skip the screening, cast a very wide net (VERY), and whoever is willing to materialize herself at your feet, at her own expense, for the promise of a couple hundred bucks, gets to be your SB that day and if you’re reaching the volume your taste-for-novelty requires with this method, then more power to you. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Keep on mass e-mailing and enjoying the parade of women who arrive in front of you, on their own travel dime.

    I bet you really get the creme de la creme ladies using that approach.

  299. Reach the Beach SB says:

    SD TWICE – A gentleman would offer…she wouldn’t have to ask.

  300. SD TWICE says:

    The number one warning on the SA site:

    “There are reports of Sugar Babies asking for travel expenses and dissappearing once they receive the money. No matter how much he or she may blame you for not trusting them, NEVER SEND MONEY to a stranger.”

    I completely agree based upon extensive experience in the sugar world.

  301. carebear says:

    Lily I was thinking the same thing….

  302. Anna Molly says:

    @ Shay ~ What a terrible story!!

    @ Bella ~ Run far, far away from that guy! He isn’t a SD and never will be…

    I have to catch up on the last blog! Happy New Year everyone! 😀

  303. Sara says:

    @ Midwest – I went on Sugardaddie, to see if I could find anything out about this SD network, but unfortunantly the forums were boring and my nancy drew skills suck.

    P.S. the best part of Lexus man is that he is either an idiot or exremely persistant, because he totally acts like nothing has changed. Just “yeah, so we lost touch, if you still want a sugar daddy I can be your sugar daddy”(ICK) (and give you a reposessed Lexus) ( DOUBLE ICK)

  304. ReachtheBeach SB aka Midwest SB says:

    shared similar *experiences* hahaha! Where’s my coffee!

    Lily- BiBaby has been gone for a while. Has she given up sugar?

  305. ReachtheBeach SB aka Midwest SB says:

    VC – <3

    Good morning sugars!

    Shay – When I went to the TO meet, I ended up telling part of why I was going including the fact it was to meet people from SA. He only asked for one name that I made up. It was a comical story and I was only there for about 20 minutes (with another sugar sis). I'm sorry this went so badly for you. Unfortunately, I cannot really offer any advice.

    Sara- Ewwww

    New Bella – Welcome! This could be confusing with two Belas. As for pot #2, I don't like that he lied to you and asked for your account information. Suggest the paypal method and be willing to accept the allowance. If he doesn't come through, then nothing lost. Don't do anything you would regret until then. He may be new and just doesn't know what to do or he may truly be a scam artist. As for not buying the magazines, some guys don't take hints well…I wouldn't base any decisions on it. If he's new, suggest he come to the blog for research…it worked for me!

    TexasSugah/ SD TWICE – Yes, the women who give the sob story and need rescuing should be considered frauds. The ones who ask for car service or travel expenses are not.
    SD Twice- Being the gentleman that I hope you are, I'm sure you wouldn't expect a lady to travel to see you to incur any expenses (regardless of the fact that she will receive your company and a nice dinner…those don't put gas in the tank). Then again, perhaps you would travel to her so that she wouldn't incur any expenses in the first place. Since those are my standards, do you consider me a pro?

    Interesting about the SD network. I know the ladies here have shared similar expenses, but not quite as organized. Maybe they are onto something!

  306. Bella says:

    Thank you everyone!!!! You are all awesome! I’ll keep you posted! @Gemi “massive ick” ROFLLLLL

  307. Lily says:

    Hey, whatever happened to Sunny Funny SB? Did she switch monikers too??

  308. Sara says:

    @ Bella – Something is defiantlty off….the spa day was just so weird to lie about. I once had an SD who only liked to handle money, but that was because he didn’t like shopping and didn’t want his wife to notice. ut this guy does not seem to have a reason to not want to go, unless of course he is fake. If you would like to compromise….tell him you are interested and would love to officially start an arrangement (implying his side of an arrangement must start now too), tell him if he isn’t comfortable with shopping, money is fine, but you don’t want to deal with wiring into your account. Cash is fine. If after all these options, he still can’t deliver….move on….quickly!

  309. @Bella – setup a PayPal account, or he gives you a check, or cash, anything but giving him your bank account. Unless you set up a specific account for him to deposit, and set it up so that there are only specific rules for only you to withdraw. Ask at your bank.

    Personally, I prefer PayPal or check.

  310. Gemi says:

    I can’t even touch Shay’s problem… but I can touch Bellas…

    Run don’t walk to the nearest exit. The BIGGEST red flag (aside from the non-generousity for small things) is that he asked for YOUR bank acct to deposit the money. That is a beautiful way for scammers to rip your money out of your acct. If he was serious, he could set up an acct for you, give you a check, give you a money order, paypal it over, cash, some othe way that does not put you in danger of loosing out on your hard-earned money.

    And your first guy sounded like massive ick. Ewww sorry!!!

  311. Lily says:

    Shay – your story is indeed horrible! Yikes! I’m sometimes looked at oddly when I cross borders with only very light hand luggage, but that’s the end of it. Best of luck to you!

    My best sugar memory is meeting some blog sisters for the first time in person in our hotel in Paris!!! As part of that, managing to arrange 4 sugars from the blog their awesome, all expense paid, glamorous trip to Paris! I am pretty proud of that. 🙂

  312. @Shay

    Stuff like this is tricky. Prostitution is illegal in the US, but “paid companionship” is legal. BUT paid companionship is considered working, for which you need a work visa. So if you state that you are entering the US to visit a friend, and they find out that you are really entering the US to be a paid companion, that is illegal because you are not a US citizen (I assume) and don’t have the legal right to “work” in the US.

    You answered the question correctly. If you had said that you are a paid companion, then the US probably would receive that info and might be able to ban you from visiting. But if you’ve said that you are dating a man in the US who gives you financial gifts/assistance, then this is not illegal by US standards and they should have no reason to ban you. Obviously there is a fine line between the two, which means that proving the difference can sometimes be a court battle. The US doesn’t want that court battle either, which is probably why customs asked you the question directly. Don’t believe Canadian customs for even one second if they say they don’t care if you are working illegally in the US. They might not, but they share all their info with the US, who does.

    I would suggest that the next time you cross the border you try to have as little with you as possible that could possibly be seen as suspicious and stick to the story that you are dating an older man who gives you financial gifts. The word “gifts” is pretty important, because there is nothing the US can *legally* do about that since it is legal.

    The border stuff is crazy these days though and the US can sorta do whatever they want whether it is legal or not. I suspect that Canada probably doesn’t care about what you are doing in the US, but now that they’ve interrogated you about it the US might.

  313. Bela says:

    Wow, that’s pretty heavy. I’m by no means an expert, but would one be able to save at least a little trouble by clearing out browsing history, cookies, etc on your laptop and smart phone? I’ve traveled internationally before with the same disposition as Alleycat, but I’ve luckily not had to endure the craziness that he and Shay have.

  314. Shay says:

    @ bella – I’m confused, why do you want to drop him? You liked him and he is offering an allowance upfront. What’s the problem?? He didn’t book a spa day for you? Maybe he was too busy to get around to it and made up a dumb excuse.

    @ Michael Alleycat – thanks for the long post. Wow drill a hole in a horse! haha that is super funny. And toothpaste!
    A side business? Wouldn’t I need a work permit and then pay taxes on it? I was thinking about manufacturing a research project for school which required US trips – it could even be legit – but they will still ask me where I am being lodged and then ask for hotel receipts. If we stayed in a hotel it would be under the SD’s name and primarily since he is single we are staying at his place which does not offer receipts.

    I don’t think it’s true that if they could have charged me they would have. I had pirated music on that laptop (now deleted) and they found two receipts for $30 items which I had completely forgotten about and thus not declared. And I initially lied about being “paid” to go to the US … sort of (I don’t think of it as a lie but surely it could be construed as a lie). What they said in the end was that they were not looking for little things, but big things.

    When I go through Canada customs, they seem to be primarily concerned with drug smuggling. When I go through US customs tho, they seem primarily to be concerned if I am working illegally in their country. So it seems like sheer good fortune that it was Canada customs that yanked the SD agreement and not US customs. Interestingly, the Canadians said that if I was working illegally in the US, they did not care and would not charge me with anything, that they were not interested in this (they could have been lying, or I suppose they could just forward the info to US customs who then deal with me appropriately when I try to cross again).

    Question is would the agreement be enough to keep me out of the US, and did Canada customs save a copy of it and send it over to the Americans?

  315. Michael Alleycat says:

    Shay – Customs and Immigration are a pain in any country. They tend to rely on intimidation and fear to make things happen. You did the right thing – you stood your ground, answered truthfully etc, and they eventually let you in. In my experience, they will pressure you, trying to make you crack, getting tripped in your lies etc. They are also looking for bigger fish than just you or I.

    Here’s the thing – they went through all your stuff, including your email, and they could not find anything to charge you with. Therefore, you are doing nothing wrong. Believe me, if they could charge you, they would.

    I have done a lot of international travel and have been stopped and questioned at many borders. My worst experience was returning to Australia after 6+ weeks in Asia, honeymooning with my first wife. We got pulled over as soon as we picked up our suitcases (they were waiting for us) and taken off to one side. Everything pulled apart, toothpaste squeezed out, presents opened, and a wooden horse we had bought was taken away and x-rayed. They came back and said “we believe there is a cavity in the horse, with something inside, we will be drilling a hole in it to look at it”. No problem we said, do it.

    Then they came back a while later and said “we believe one or both of you are carrying hero*in, probably internally. We need your permission to do an internal body search”. Ummm no. They refused to tell us the basis for their belief, and we refused the search. After much arguing and 3 hours, they let us go. They used a combination of fear, intimidation, doubt to try and get information out of us.

    For some reason, you have tripped their profile system, and they are looking at you closely each time. Absolutely, the US and Canadian authorities share information. When you were being questioned, you have to understand you were being recorded, videoed, and the data was probably being used in voice and facial recognition systems.

    Going into Australia 2 years ago, all passengers even had to pass a body temperature / infrared scanning system, to check if anybody had a fever and was trying to get into the country at the height of the SARS scare.

    No data or information is private. If you are flagged – which you are now – just do what you did last time. Answer truthfully, stay clean, and they cannot do anything to you. They can stop you from entering the US, but they need to have a reason to do so. Can you start a side business of some sort, and use this as a reason to enter the US regularly? Get a business name, get a website built, business cards etc etc.

    I would also suggest contacting Customs as a general enquiry, and asking them what are your rights in this situation. Don’t file a complaint, just make a general enquiry. Keep your email clear, or use a private web-based email (yahoo, gmail etc) for private mail. Keep your cell phone clear of incriminating txts and voicemails etc. These guys can and will do anything, including ALL of your personal information. I start from the pretext that I have basically no rights when I am entering someone else’s country, so I stay squeaky clean.

    I visited my former #1 in Canada in July, and I got a similar treatment, but only for 30 mins. Who was I visiting why, for how long, where did I meet her, how long ago, her name, address etc etc. They are looking for uncertainty and contradictions in your answers.

    Sorry for the rambling post, but this is quite common and sparked a few memories. Keep us in the loop how this evolves. I am sure there are some lawyers here who can offer advice to you as well.

  316. Michael Alleycat says:


  317. SD TWICE says:

    Bella, you already caught him in one lie. Drop him.

  318. SD TWICE says:

    Anyone who asks for money to be sent should be written off as a fraud and walked away from. It seems you,ve discovered another site has the same warning SA has. Hardly a coincidence.

  319. Bella says:

    Hi everyone! Happy New Year to all! Really enjoyed reading your stories and advice. I’m new here, so I hope it’s okay to share my experience and really could use some advice! 🙂

    Here goes…

    So I met a SD a few weeks ago for coffee. I’m still cringing at HOW slimey he was. First thing he started to talk about was sex and how good it was with his last SB. He offered her gift certificates and an occasional dinner. He claimed he was some CEO for a major company, yet he just bought his (only child) daughter a used car and saved money by going to costco for tires.

    He would ask me questions (about my life) and then become impatient and restless when I started to answer. His photos had to be at least 10 years old because he looked BAD. Thick bags under his eyes and a yellow tinge at the whites (looks like the signs of hepatitis) EEEWWW! Lied about his height, but maybe he’s 5’10” in platforms? The meeting ended when his phone rang: “Oh, that’s the wife,” he scoffed. Threw a couple bucks on the table and walked me to my car. Well, I pretty much ran lol.

    Next day. Met another SD for coffee. He drove about 2 hrs to meet me. I could tell from the expression on his face that he wasn’t dissapointed when I entered the room. Big cheezy grin, followed by nervous laughter. We got along great, nice conversation, didn’t give me the creeps at all. Quite the gentleman. There’s a huge age difference (like 35 years) so it’s a miracle that we have lots to discuss. Walked me back to my car and pointed to his $70,000 car. Very nice.

    He wanted to see me again and told me he would contact me by the end of the week for dinner. Didn’t hear from him and the day before we were supposed to meet he canceled due to bad weather. He didn’t want to drive because his eyesight is poor.

    Finally we set up a date. Problem is, I think he’s either really new at this, OR he’s totally stingy and just stringing me along — you decide.

    We met for dinner in my city. It was nice — laughter, playfulness, good food (nothing terribly expensive mind you). After dinner I suggested to take a walk. Luckily I saw a barnes and noble to get us out of the cold and also gave us something to do. So I figured since he kept raving about how incredible I am (looks, brains, etc) he would have at least brought me a little something. Right? Also, for bailing on me before right? Okay, but maybe he’ll buy me one of my favorite magazines since maybe he was so busy with work that he couldn’t bring me anything. “Oh I love this magazine.” Nothing…sigh.

    Next morning he writes another longgggg email telling me how incredible, sexy, amazing, blah blah blah I am. He mentions that he wants to offer me 3-4 K allowance and to give him my bank account info. I told him I’d rather go shopping with him instead. I mentioned I wanted to go to a spa and he agreed. Then emailed me claiming the spa was booked for all of 2011. I called to verify and the receptionist laughed – not true.

    He doesn’t want me over his place (at least not yet) and wants to meet at a hotel or to come and stay at my place. Hmmmm….

    Ok baby’s or daddie’s what the heck do I do???? Drop him? Give him another chance? What would you do? Thanks all! XOXO

  320. TexaSugah says:

    Shay- wow that is terrible. You do need to say something. But you know, under the Patriot Act can’t they do just about anything if there’s suspicion even detaining you? Do some research on your own. The Internet abounds with info. Just make sure your source is credible.

    Ok so… Was talking to a pot..yeah I haven’t sealed the deal on a number 2.. Anyway he was telling me that there is a SD great vine for info on women. Somehow on sugardaddie, they aree able to contact each other and ask about women. He said he gets about 20 emails a month asking about specific women.

    Another pot from the other site also told me that women that ask for money up front are considered pros. Whether they are or not. The email screen says never send money to cover travel or what have you. My ex SD sent me funds before but we had been talking for a long time. Even he said that he wouldn’t have right off the bat.

    Ok so…. What do y’all think about that? Well, actually on both.

    Sugary dreams y’all. …

    Oh I wanted to add my blog but you can’t do that from an iPad. Can I get a little help?

  321. Sara says:

    @ Midwest- speaking of nostalgic, repo’ed Lexus man decided to contact me tonight! lol

  322. Sara says:

    @ Shay – I am pretty sure if they had valid reasns to read your mail and phone, they would have been able to arrest you. Since they couldn’t legally arrest you, chances are, they couldn’t legally search all of that without your permission, which you (being a law abiding citizen obliged to)

  323. Beach_Girl says:

    Shay~ Wow, what a horrible story! I would suggest talking to a Lawyer. Also there is a site called just answer dot com, they have a place to ask questions about canadian law, not sure if it’s free, but I would ask anyone about your situation.
    When I worked in Cali, I was always searched (bags not me) but I never got interrogated and had my cell or laptop checked… I think that looking at someone’s mail is illegal, not sure… And to search their phones and such, that is disturbing to me… You really need to find out what is happening and why you were targeted this way… As a fellow Canadian, I am shocked that this happened…. Could it happen to anyone? I mean this is so wrong on so many levels!!! I am shocked…
    You should let us know what you find out as well, So we Canadians know!

  324. VillaCypris says:

    awwwwwwwwwww ME midwest????????
    thanks. i’m happy to hear i was a welcoming person. in 2011 i am SURE i will meet my little sister’s mistress.. :))))))))))

  325. ReachtheBeach SB aka Midwest SB says:

    Hahahaha- Just got a little nostalgic and looked up my very first post! It was Oct 9, 2009 as New SB in SB. VC was the first to reply and welcome me to the blog. Thanks chica! I asked all the same questions every newbie does. 🙂

    How about some of our other veterans? I didn’t realize it, but SG2 was on then…TLG, NYC SB, Lisa, etc.

  326. The Lone Gunman says:


    Your story is extremely odd, to say the least. Either you fit a profile of some sort VERY well, or your frequent border crossings have flagged you for attention by Customs in Canada.

    While I am by no means a legal expert in either US or Canadian law, I strongly suspect that your rights have been violated. You may wish to consult an attorney versed in Civil Rights in your country or, alternatively, get in touch with someone in the media who may find your story intriguing enough to follow up on it and expose the practices you ran into. Intimidation and violation under color of authority pisses me off whenever I hear of it.

  327. Sara says:

    Favorite memories? Making all the new friends I have and hope to have for a long time, all the messes I made (come on, admit it…I made it fun 😉 ) and having a place I can go for love and support.

    As for the second part, I try not to let any SD’s wear down my confidence. Sometimes I get “the sugar blues”, where I start to feel like I will never find the right arrangement, but most of the time, I try to acknowledge that they are using money and gifts as a means to find exactly what they want, so no one should settle. So if an SD isn’t interested in me, I acknowledge it and move on.

  328. Shay says:

    Hey all.

    I have a couple of legal questions. Not really sure who I should be asking … well besides a lawyer which I can’t really afford. 😀

    Four weeks into my sugar arrangement, and things are going very well except for one thing: I’m in Canada, he’s in the US, and I’m having some trouble at the border. Even before sugar I travel across the border fairly frequently (4-8x per year), and honestly, I tend to get special attention from customs even before sugar dictated that I cross the border once every week or so. I’m not sure why I trip their sensors. I’m white and born in Canada which is good, but I have a foreign last name, I always travel alone, and I live and work alone, and I sometimes carry a decent amount of cash (always under the 10k allowance tho). I try to be polite and civil to them, but I am also slow and precise in my answers, something which I feel is necessary for my safety but they do not particularly seem to appreciate. I do not think I am officially flagged by their system, because if such was the case I would imagine I get searched 100% of the time I crossed. The true rate I estimate to be around 60%, which is obviously very out of line.

    I spent New Years with my SD. On the way into the US, I wasn’t pulled for search & interrogation but I was scrutinized pretty closely by my initial customs officer … he asked me many strange questions (where do my parents live and why wasn’t I visiting them for the holidays? how often do I talk with my mom on the phone?) and then read two entire pages from the book I’d been holding in my hand, presumably trying to get some sort of reaction out of me (while everyone behind me in line gaped and shuffled their feet).

    When I returned to Canada, I did get pulled, and was held at Canadian customs for four hours. I told them I had been in the US visiting a friend. They wanted to know his full name, his age, occupation, workplace, address, and contact information, as well as how we met and the nature of our relationship. Because I wasn’t placed under arrest, I was told that I did not have the right to request a lawyer, and also did not have the right to decline to answer their inquiries. They searched my belongings quite thoroughly, had a narcotics dog sniff my luggage and my person three times over, confiscated my cell phone, went through my call history and text messages and looked up the registration information for my contacts. They took my laptop and demanded that I enter my login. Unsure of my rights, I complied. They then went through my personal documents, and logged into my email and read it. Throughout the entire time, they were of course extremely hostile to me, threatening various charges, and seeming to be mainly suspicious about drugs (I don’t use drugs, never have, don’t know anyone who does, and personally do not even drink caffeine, let alone alcohol or any illegal drugs). I have a criminal record, but it is not a charge that customs officials have ever been particularly preoccupied with (dangerous driving).

    They found the email which detailed the nature of my arrangement with my SD, including boundaries we outlined and the financial side of things. They then asked if I had gone to the US to be someone’s paid companion.

    Having already denied working in the US, I was unsure of how to answer this question. If I say yes do I get charged with lying to customs? Obstruction to justice? If I say no am I lying? Will I be charged with working without a permit to do so? Prostitution? I do not think any of these charges are very likely to stick, but the simple act of charging me means that I now have to hire a lawyer to get the charges wiped, which costs thousands of dollars, lots of time and hassle, and further escalates my personal border crossing situation.

    In the end I decided to say that I was not a paid companion but had received some financial assistance. They eventually decided to let me go without any charges, returning all of my belongings to me. I assume that they share information with the US side of the border. I don’t know if they made copies of the data they collected, and if they would forward that information to the US. So I don’t know what the situation will be next time I try to enter the United States or what they would do with my sugar agreement in their hands. Since then I have deleted that stuff from my email and cleared my laptop of my personal data. But was it really necessary? Am I doing something illegal? Is the sugar arrangement perceived as prostitution in the eyes of the law? Should I try filing a complaint about customs to try to get them to ease off (both sides always let me through eventually, never having found anything incriminating on me) or is that largely a waste of time?

  329. ReachtheBeach SB aka Midwest SB says:

    Pooh…not first yet!

    Memories from the sugar blog? Where do I start? The time I referred my first SD to the blog as a potential so he could get advice from our great guys? The time we announced it had to end due to circumstances beyond our control? Reading Lily’s epic posts? Telling Nitemare SD to find another blog to haunt? Sharing fun meet news (attended three last year)? It’s a very long and distinguished list! Let’s see what guy runs with it….

  330. Bela says:

    fourth 🙂

  331. Arcadia SB says:

    aww..nope i was third oh well I tried…now to answer thee questions…

  332. Arcadia SB says:


  333. Shay says:

    lalala 2nd

  334. Nico says:

    Seriously? First?? 😀