8 years ago
Sugar Daddy Wording: Walking the Talk


Show-Pony (SB) seeking Werq-Horse (SD)

There are many types of seekers on SA, some looking for more conventional relationships than others. Yet no matter what type of experience one is looking for in the Sugarbowl, all is welcome as long as it’s, that’s right, mutually beneficial.

One male member of SA recently revealed that he doesn’t meet any of the women from the site, yet has enjoyed being a ‘Fairy Godfather’ to several sugar babies who can use his support. He says that for him, if circumstances were different, and he wasn’t married and was younger, he would definitely be enjoying IRL meets with the ladies he’s been ‘flirting with’ here.

“If I were only *twenty* years younger. And single, of course. But I did get to handle some pretty dire financial emergencies, which gives me a sense of being a useful member of society. I keep telling myself that some day I will use these stories as plot premises for episodes of my upcoming, sure-to-be-a-hit TV series.”

This particular SD member says that he personally hates the term ‘sugar daddy’…

“The words “sponsor” or “patron” come to mind for my role (though more than one of the young women have told me, “You’re Batman!”). In the most extreme cases, where I have altered the girl’s *destiny*, “Fairy Godfather” fits (and, therefore, “Fairy Goddaughter”). In April I will be giving the third such young woman in my life away at her wedding. (The good news is that it’s a high honor. The bad news is that it means that she is all alone in the world–no male relatives at all.)”

‘Mentor Daddies’ – Known for providing support in professional and other aspects of a sugar baby’s life beyond the dates, or financial aspects alone, these SD’s get a kick out of seeing their SB’s through to their individual pursuit of personal goals.

Here are some sugar titles that have been found floating around in the Sugarbowl lately:

‘Fairy Godfather’





Papa P

Here are some known sugar-couple euphemisms:

Good friends

Man friend/girlfriend

“New SB here with a silly question: Do you do the wallet-reach when the bill comes on a first sugar date?

In real life dating, I always reach for my wallet and offer to pay when the bill comes. In sugar dating, however, the financial expectations of my date are pretty clear. We both know he’s going to pay, so is the wallet-reach a silly gesture?

Thank you for your help!” – BallerinaSB

Do you use any euphemisms when discussing sugar arrangements?

How do you like approaching the topic of expectations with a sugar daddy or sugar baby? Before, during, or after the first in-real-life meet?

What type of writing style do you use in messages to potential sugars? Do you follow the rules of Direct Marketing as described here by ‘HenriLouise’, in which every sentence is no longer than 7 words, and every word no longer than 7 letters?

What kind of unique techniques have you used in your sugar journey to ensure success?

How’s your sugarlife been going lately?

Leave a Reply

270 Responses to “Sugar Daddy Wording: Walking the Talk”

  1. Honey says:

    Thank you for the suggestion Lucie, still haven’t made up my mind…

  2. SD Guru says:

    New blog topic!

  3. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    Honey – that is very nice of you to offer lunch to SB newbies in Houston. Very nice gesture.

  4. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    Meeting an ex SD in a few at Yamashiro. Just a platonic ‘catch up’ date. I can already taste the Truffle Hamachi. Mmmmmm.

  5. Honey says:

    Truce!! Know I would like to invite any sugarbaby wanna be’s that live in Houston to lunch. I did come on this site to meet and greet other like-minded sugarbabies and sb wanna be’s. Really! Most of my friends work during the day and don’t have time for lunch. I love playing the hostess with the mostess! Corny , but true! I’m really nice and friendly and seek the same in my friends.If you are just starting out and would like my input on what has worked for me. I’ll be your wingman! If any locals are interested. Message me here and I’ll put up my contact info. Sincerely, Honey

  6. Honey says:

    Sd , I do! Dandy wine, ““What should I buy to make everyone jealous” just reeks of drama, insecurity, and a *very* misplaced sense of superiority.’ Actually I think your response to it was where I got the…. Say, think, do what you will, but my sense of superiority is not misplaced! I placed the call out to sugar baby wanna be’s if that was not you, you did not have to answer. What was soo bad about it that it threatened you? Really I put it out there lightly and I see it as ya’ll not having a sense of humor I purposely left you established babes out of my post, because I halfway expected if I addressed ya’ll I would receive that kind of of welcome, so I wussed out and put sugar baby wanna be’s and still have ya’ll trying to get me on style over substance!
    I haven’t re-read it yet, but maybe I did include ya’ll in my call for crazy chicks, so shoot me. I find that a bit thin skinned. No heat. I think we got off on the wrong foot. Let’s stop. I’ve been writing persuasive articles for class all week.My shortest was 350 words, longest 2500. I can pop this incredibly long missives out in a sec.I don’t use caps.. I want to use my powers for good.

  7. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    Pseudopsia – I agree with LASB. I am currently corresponding with a potential SD with a very low number. He is back on SA looking because his long-term SB (of 3 years) just moved from LA to NYC. I have checked him out and he is legitimate and is who he says he is and could be a WONDERFUL SD if the chemistry is there when we meet. Definitely always a good idea to practice caution in all cases for sure.

    Dandelion – Thank you for the welcome! :-)

    • SD Guru says:

      but I do have a sharp tongue and I am not afraid to use it.

      Welcome, feel free to use your sharp tongue anytime. Just make sure you have thick skin so that you can handle it when other bloggers respond in kind with their own sharp tongue. :)

  8. LASB says:

    Pseudopsia – I think people just see it as a red flag, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they should be nexted. In fact, there are a few blog daddies with low numbers who are totally legit, nice, and would make suitable SDs. However, if the guy actually tells you, “I’m new at this,” and his ID number is 002394 or something, RUN!

  9. Pseudopsia says:

    Er, let me clarify…500,000 as in member numbers, not $$

  10. Pseudopsia says:

    In earlier reading I noticed one of you mention dealing only with SDs who are in the 500,000 range. Why is this? I conversed with someone in the 100,000 range who actually seemed really nice; however, the arrangements we wanted weren’t compatible so it wasn’t pursued further. But I wouldn’t say that he’s bad for everyone just because he’s in the 100,000 range. Do you avoid them in general? If so, why?

  11. Dandelion Wine says:

    No June Cleaver, welcome back to the blog :)

  12. NYC SB says:

    Hi honey… Welcome! What caused most people to react how they did was your choice of words. This was one of your first post, and we do not know you as a blogger. So to most of us your comment was taken literally rather than as a playful way to ask what to buy with your spending money.

    Anyways its water under the bridge… Let’s not bring it up anymore and move onto something else :)

  13. Dandelion Wine says:

    How you could have said it better: “I unexpectedly got $500 to shop with, and I can’t think of anything to buy. I do know I would like to buy something memorable and special, do you guys have any suggestions of what that could be?”

    “What should I buy to make everyone jealous” just reeks of drama, insecurity, and a *very* misplaced sense of superiority.

    Also judging by the length and bizarreness of your posts, I dou

  14. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    Honey – I have read and reread everything I posted in response to your “having $500 to spend” post and not once did I say “WE do not need to put out the welcome wagon to newbie SBs.” Nothing I said ever even implied that. I only said I didn’t understand why one would want to make another jealous. Ever. That’s it.

    You asked what you could have said differently to make people respond more positively? Choose words other than “crazy chicks” and “jealous” maybe? Just my opinion.

    And my grandmother always used to say the “catch more flies with honey” quote all the time. Totally true.

  15. Honey says:

    Back from school! Will address each point, one by one, if possible.
    I wasn’t exactly offended more like affronted…wait look, Let’s all play nice, I’ll play nice, kinda. June, me and you are cool, I see you as akin to me and my style of humor. I’m good with that. But texplain to me again why”we” don’t need to put out the welcome wagon, again? I disagree, but I’m not equating you with Hitler. I just saw how, to me, and I haven’t looked at the whole tree, but most lylt it is the girls who are not welcoming. can’t women being nice to each other?Don’t we want more people to come along and participate? Drive more traffic to the site? What makes this blog stand out from the other blogs? What makes others, not just us, want to return? Even a good cat fight is better than snide remarks that really accomplish nothing. Maybe I could have said it better. Someone, please tell me a More better opening into this clique of strangers selling candy. What could I have said that would have made people respond in a better way? I’m looking at it in a marketing point of view. Everyone go look back at the comments…are you admitting that you are “not a safe place to land” on this forum? That it is every cold-hearted sugar babe for herself, don’t even expect a welcome, you would be foolish to….
    I’m not staying that I am not thin skinned, I most likely am. but I’ve always found, hence the name…that “you’ll get more flies with Honey than with vinegar” Evey hear that one? What does it mean to you?
    that said, all is forgiven, for me. I sincerely don’t wish anybody harm, but I do have a sharp tongue and I am not afraid to use it. I am also ready and willing to discuss, argue or debate on any topic.thanks for all the encouragement. I give credit where credit is due, just sparingly.

  16. Lucie says:

    Svpply is my new favorite spot to store my material dreams. It’s a ‘buy it later’ bookmarking site. But the users have (from my perspective) awesome taste, so it’s a great place to discover as well.

    Here are a few bits and bobs I’m currently drooling over:

    Gorgeous leather travel case

    Jackie-esque APC coat

    Pretty bowls

    Siren-y Bikini

    THE little black dress
    (a bit of a splurge over the 500 line, but I’d say a worthy one)

    Tell us what you end up with!

  17. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    Honey – I will echo what Gail has said and ask that you please don’t depart from the blog. I have been a long-time lurker and it only took a few recent posts to feel active with this very sugary forum. I didn’t get an onslaught of “welcome to the blog, June” other than from dear cleo, but it isn’t necessary to feel welcomed. Just engage and pick up conversation with people you click with here. Again, I wasn’t meaning to offend. My dry wit and touch of sarcasm can be twisted in text and come across in a way I didn’t intend. Don’t leave the blog.

    Good day, everyone and enjoy your Saturday.

  18. Lucie says:

    I agree, Cleo’s a gem.

  19. Gail says:

    Morning ~It’s coffee time!!!!

    Ditto!!!! Cleo…My mind is now refreshed, a new sugar day to All!!!

    Honey…stay around please :) even if you are in lurk mode you’ll learn lots. By the way Houston is where my long time bestest sugar sister lives. I love to travel and usually stop there on my way to the east coast. Blog gods…please send Honey my e-mail. Thank you : )

    Beautiful day here. Short, T-shirt and flip-flop weather. It’s a work day in our community garden and then heading out for lunch.

    Kind hearts are the gardens, Kind thoughts are the roots, Kind words are the flowers, Kind deeds are the fruits, Take care of your garden And keep out the weeds, Fill it with sunshine Kind words and kind deeds”

  20. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    cleo – you have a way of expressing yourself that is very refreshing, straight-forward and intelligently delivered. My apologies if I came across as rude.

  21. cleo says:

    honey this is a blog full of people with wit and verve and strong personalities… all unique and most with something to offer. your introduction of the spending money had me shaking my head and going ‘huh’ and it had others reacting in a less kind way.

    you are choosing to notice the rude folks and not all the other ones who actually said welcome … which is a choice that you get to make and you clearly have. yes, there are people on this blog who will dig up a dead horse and beat it to death but under that there will nearly always be something worth reading

    am i excusing the inherent rudeness of some posters? no, i’m not. but you need to look in the mirror and accept that you also could have approached us in a far different way. so take your ball and go home if you must, but no one suggested that you do so and people can only hurt your feelings if you let them.

    anyway, happy saturday y’all

  22. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    My first time answering blog questions:

    Do you use any euphemisms when discussing sugar arrangements? Other than “SD” and “SB” not really. I feel silly using “candy type” words to grown men.

    How do you like approaching the topic of expectations with a sugar daddy or sugar baby? Before, during, or after the first in-real-life meet? Yes, yes & yes. Usually during our email exchanges, I share my last arrangement experiences; the wonderful parts and then a brief explanation of why it ended and what I learned will work for me now. During our first date, it usually comes up again and then of course, follow up is always important to make sure you are both on the same page.

    What type of writing style do you use in messages to potential sugars? Do you follow the rules of Direct Marketing as described here by ‘HenriLouise’, in which every sentence is no longer than 7 words, and every word no longer than 7 letters? No, I don’t follow any steadfast ‘rules’. I’m just myself and very conversational in nature.

    What kind of unique techniques have you used in your sugar journey to ensure success? I’m very direct, but also very sincere in expressing my wants/needs/desires and openly ask the gentlemen to do the same. I won’t settle for the first SD who comes along with the best offer. There has to be a genuine connection. I treat arrangements as if they are regular relationships – without the added pressure of “happily ever after.”

    How’s your sugarlife been going lately? Going well so far. Talking with a few potentials and have some trips planned for first dates. 2 stateside and 1 international.

  23. Pseudopsia says:

    Holy crap? Do you happen to be Aries or Leo?

  24. Honey says:

    and thank you , Gail, I’m going to bed and if you are in Houston, I’ll take you to lunch! ON me of course! Promise!

  25. Honey says:

    Gosh…ya’ll are still missing the point….what IS the point anyway? Maybe I’m on the wrong page.
    I look at the site, I look at the chat, no one talking about anything that could actually help someone. I came on this site looking to dump my current beau on someone nice. I thought, “Hey, maybe I could meet a nice girl who has needs and transfer him over” or something. or”it would be cool to talk to other women who are in this lifestyle.” I’m not trying to break him cause I am leaving him sooner than later and I feel bad, taking more than $20000.00 and NOT staying around. Maybe that makes me a piker. I don’t have too many women friends, but the ones I do have I would trust even if I found them in bed with my husband One is married and has only had sex with her husband, does not understand nor would she approve,another is brilliant but a lonely prude, unless she slipped someone in while I wasn’t watching it’s been at least two years since she’ had sex.-she would not understand either. One more who is young and I want to be a good example to her. Those are the only people whose opinions I really care about. I’m not looking for approval from strangers with candy, I was trying to be fun and light and funny and sociable, pretend like I was a SD , Smiles, kind words, are all free…unlike some companionship. I was looking for sugar baby companionship, not approval from a bunch of chicks, I’ve never met and who don’t know anything about me except that I’m on this site.
    I’ll go start my own blog and stop bothering you fine folk. But, I have learned, maybe, how to NOT make a guy fall in love with me every time and want to marry me to keep him to himself. I think….”Cause I was feeling bad for doing that to EVERY guy I started dating. I’m not lying, remember, I REALLY don’t care what “the others” think about me- unless it’s for the one- upmanship games that we must admit we do play here. At least the guys are more honest about it. But, to get back to my original rant. Being around others that are doing and want to do the thing that I am doing has helped in some respects.It does make me feel better about what I am doing now and I Had thought to share what little I felt I knew. But I don’t think this is the place for that kind of stuff.Sorry, it’s me, I’m easily disillusioned these days. I’m taking my ball and going home. Night folks

  26. Gail says:

    Honey~It’s great to hear that you are at a happy place in your life. I feel the same about my life . Have no worries about what others think…the important thing is that you are content with you and your choices. I personally would love to have an extra $500.00 to spend. Enjoy and shop to your hearts content. By the way, cheer up!!! Tommorrow is another sugar day : )

    Lisa….where are you? I had a vision of you sitting at the Galleria sipping coffee(with Sugar of course)

    Yaaaay RTB….I am happy you are on your way to the beach.

    Last of all welcome to all the new sugars : ) Sugar certainly is sweet!

  27. Dandelion Wine says:

    Honey, if you don’t have anything that you really really want or need to buy, I would recommend saving the money and starting an emergency fund or a retirement account. Wasting your money to make some strangers on the Internet jealous is probably one of the stupidest things you could do.

    Goddamn iCrap!!! Need a new phone

  28. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    Honey – I certainly did not mean to offend or upset you. I’m not in any kind of “secret club” and I’m quite new to the blog myself. I think we were mostly reacting to your choice of words, “what can I buy, that is under $500 that will make all you crazy chicks out there jealous?” It’s hard to tell if you were just joking and those words aren’t exactly “sparing kind words to a newbie.” Not in my opinion anyway. Furthermore, I personally wouldn’t be jealous of any amount of money a sugar sister was gifted nor would I want anyone jealous of my gifted fortune.

  29. Honey says:

    Well Golly gosh, ya’ll are justa fun bunch aren’t ya? Thanks all you independently wealthy sugerbabes who have forgotten what it was like to NOT be a sugarbaby.I thought this was a more helpful forum. I thought I was being funny even though I did want some suggestions since I’m not really into shopping all that much. I guess I’m just a lower class baby. I mostly own Coach purses along with Kipling. I haven’t anything with PRADA on it. I live in a nice neighborhood, drive a 8 year old car, but am about to get a new one but I’ll ask elsewhere, because I thought maybe you guys could relate. June , you and I are more alike than you may think in many ways, I , too, am direct. I have tried to mentored myself after many great men and women. And I have always seemed to find great guys who want to take care of me. Fast forward 15 years, I always thought of myself as a serial dater, come to find out I was a sugarbaby! I thought it would be fun to talk with other women who never really had any kind of man problem, like myself. But, I’m sure I’m going to get “scorned” here, for not being in whatever secret club you ladies feel you are in. Maybe you don’t mean to come off as nit picky harpies but…
    I’m happy at this point in my life, so I try to act like it. and I don’t mind sparing a kind word to a newbie. What I hoped I would get from my earlier post were suggestions on what to buy. and I asked sugar baby wanna bees or is it be’s or b’s…nevermind. For fun… But I’m easily disappointed and ya’ll have let me down. thanks for nothing

  30. Enigma SD says:

    I agree with WC SD. I really don’t like getting partially clothed, nude or lingerie pics in the “getting to know you stage.” Once I have unwrapped that gift in person, then by all means said them along if they are tastefully done.

    Good luck with the flight from hell CareBear!

  31. currburr says:

    “You will depart tonight at 7, you will arrive tomorrow at……530 pm, your flight time will be 15 hours and 35 mins. You will be served dinner, breakfast…..lunch…..and….dinner again. You will receive your tshirt ‘I survived airline hell’ when you arrive at customs. Good luck.”

  32. currburr says:

    I spent 500 this week on linen shirts and shorts.

    I spent at least 200 today on brookstone crap, useless wifi internet, booze and excedrin.

    Off to safari people!!!!! Don’t miss me too much!!!!

  33. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    WC SD – LOL. Send those on over to me and I will add them to the monthly membership club I’m starting…downloadWTFphotos dot com. Just kidding.

  34. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    Pseudopsia – No, no, I don’t mean ignore everything he wrote. Not at all. I meant address the questions he asked again, but without adding ADDITIONAL questions. For example,

    “Dear Dodgey SD,

    How wonderful that you love scuba diving (or whatever the topic you mentioned that he was interested in). Seems we have a lot in common. As it stands, I am also interested in you. However, I am still curious about my other inquiries if you don’t mind answering them for me. If I have imposed in some way, I apologize, but these are questions I feel will help me get to know you better…blablahblah. Looking forward to your response.

    With kind regards and growing interest,

    Something like that. Not crass at all. You then have acknowledged your reciprocal interest and reminded him kindly that you would like him to answer the other questions and you have not added anything additional for him to respond to.

  35. Lily says:

    Selective memory is so unattractive!!

    I like to feel as if he’s hanging on every word ….

  36. WCSD says:

    @SD Guru

    “A gentleman would never complain. He would thank the lady for sharing such intimate expressions of herself and then politely ask for more”

    I wouldn’t agree with that. I’ve been sent some, completely unsolicited, which have scarred and burned my eyes forever. So yes….we SDs do get the occasional ‘WTF!!!’ being sent to us….

  37. Pseudopsia says:

    @Enigma: Good to hear the opinion of an SD, thank you!

    @June: You’re too funny and thank you! Are you suggesting I ignore everything he wrote and just respond with the questions he failed to acknowledge? That seems a bit crass but is technically what he did to me.

    @Cleo: I shared a couple things about me. Then asked a few past arrangement questions followed by a question about a topic I knew he was interested in. He answered the latter, expressed interest in me, and said some other things; however, it was as if the arrangement questions weren’t even posed.

  38. cleo says:

    pseudopsia some of them just don’t answer any question that isn’t convenient to them… some of us don’t either. i’m reminded of a man where i said ‘what do you do anyway?’ and he said “admire your dress at the moment” … that isn’t a red flag to me but more of a sign that i’ve asked a question to which i don’t yet get to know the answer. sort of like family questions, some people don’t want you to know who they are. some of them won’t tell you their real last name until after they’ve met you a few times. some of them will never give you a contact number.

    none of that is a red flag if they’re clear, direct and ‘honest’ otherwise in the sense that they do what they say this will and hear you when you ask them questions about your arrangement or whatever.

    that said, if the questions he is ignoring pertain to topics like:
    have you had an arrangement before and what did and didn’t you like about it?
    would you like to proceed into a formal arrangement with me?
    will you wear condoms?
    how will you assure me of my safety if i travel to meet you?
    will you reimburse my cab fare to the airport?
    will you get me a non cancellable, prepaid hotel room in my name prior to my arrival?
    will you have a car meet me at the airport if i’m not comfortable letting you pick me up?
    will you pay my lost wages?
    how do you feel about bringing other people into our bed?

    then i’d worry.

    the one demonstrates intense privacy needs, the other demonstrates a lack of interest in your concerns or in making you any kind of priority/feel special at all… know what i mean?

  39. The Lone Gunman currently in Australia says:

    Patron? Isn’t that the stuff the blog SBs christened ‘panty-dropping Patron’ WAY back in the early days in a much older thread?

    TLG, who can’t sleep on the other side of the world and one day–in the FUTURE!!!

  40. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    Pseudopsia – I would consider them visual hallucinations or false perceptions. Just kidding. Nice name. I would kindly address your questions again (directly without surrounding questions, which might allow him to ‘dodge’) and see what his response is. If he doesn’t answer or ‘poofs’ – then it’s probably a good thing you didn’t get involved.

  41. Enigma SD says:

    I would consider that a red flag of sorts… already not paying attention to you and you aren’t even married yet!

  42. Pseudopsia says:

    Pretty new to the site and I’m wondering, what do I do about a potential SD who replies with interest but seemingly ignores a few questions I asked? Should I assume he overlooked them or consider this a red flag of sorts?

  43. Dandelion Wine says:

    Haha, I don’t drink tequila so I don’t even know what’s good, but I think there are a lot of rap songs that are some variant of

    “sitting in da club,
    sipping on patron,
    shawtee you are hot,
    Yo, call me on the phone”

    (I bet y’all didn’t think I could flow like that, Imma give Mr. Half-a-Dollar a run for his money!)

  44. Bela says:

    mmmmmm that patron would have gone great with my lunch :)

  45. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    Dandelion – I’m only jealous if it’s Gran Patron Platinum. That calls for hater status. LOL

  46. Dandelion Wine says:

    It’s not meaningless money by any means, I just don’t understand why would jealousy be expected.
    Hey guys, I’m going grocery shopping and I expect to spend at least $300 (blame it on the ah-ah-ah-alcohol), aren’t y’all jealous?! Don’t be hatin’ just because I’m balling – I’ll think of you when I’m sippin’ on Patron.

  47. Lily says:

    I do a lush spree at around 100-200 nearly every week. Love the stuff.

    I loooooove designer consignment stores in chic neighborhoods.

  48. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    Any amount of money GIFTED is “meaningful” money. Wasn’t sure why someone would want to make others jealous with their fortune though – no matter what amount. Ah, well.

  49. Enigma SD says:

    well at least “meaningful” money — maybe not “a lot”

  50. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    By the way, hello everyone. Allow me to make a formal introduction of myself, “No June Cleaver”.

    My moniker basically implies I’M NO PRUDE. Sure, I’m very well groomed, I cook, clean and vacuum – I just do those things in stilettos and maybe just an apron.

    I know I popped in from out of the blue, but I have been following the blog for quite some time so although I am new to you, some of your names are not new to me. I lived a sugar life even before SA existed and it was never something I sought; life just worked out that way for me with the men I met and dated. I have been fortunate with this type of dating and my past SB/SD relationships were not only financially rewarding, but I walked away each time with a wealth of life & business knowledge.

    I am direct and oftentimes sarcastic. Take no offense. I have real world experience with this lifestyle and will continue learning whilst on this sugar path. What a sweet road it is too.

    I’m happy to make all of your acquaintances.

  51. Enigma SD says:

    Outside of major metropolitan areas, $500 is a lot of money to most people.

  52. The Lone Gunman currently in Australia says:

    $500 won’t even buy you a pair of last decade’s implants on sale at the medical center in Playa del Carmen. Le darn.


  53. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    I was thinking the same thing, Dandelion. $500 won’t even buy you a pair of last season Louboutins on sale at Barneys. Le sigh.

  54. Dandelion Wine says:

    Why would someone be jealous of a $500 purchase?

  55. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    Interesting. Just read a profile that said, “No women with breast implants need apply as that is a form of lying.” Mmmmkay.

  56. Bela says:

    Sheen probably thinks he can pull a Robert Downey Jr and be the next Iron Man.

  57. The Lone Gunman currently in Australia says:

    Sheen may get a clue of what’s to come if he’s aware of the shunning of Lohan that happened after the Oscars. Even in Hollywood, known for accepting and forgiving almost everything, there are apparently limits to how long people will put up with you. (Especially if you have done nothing noteworthy in a long time.)


  58. Bela says:

    It would be nice if Lindsay took her family with her to that island :)

  59. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan should buy a private island and live dysfunctionally ever after.

  60. LASB says:

    TLG – I’m so over Charlie Sheen, it’s ridiculous. NEXT!

  61. The Lone Gunman currently in Australia says:

    Bob knows, I’m not much of a celebrity watcher–but has anyone else been keeping up with the Charlie Sheen train wreck?

    Even here in Oz I’ve seen updates on his antics. Unbelievable.


  62. Honey says:

    And thank you Southern gent, for your honest, kind and helpful words. Some may have gotten the impression that I’m in my twenties. No, I’m an older sugarbaby who looks really young, I still get carded. I guess I could lie about my age but why bother? How I’ve been doing has been working for me so far.

  63. Honey says:

    Better yet, let me put the the rules, what can I buy , that is under $500 that will make all you crazy chicks out there jealous. How’s that for honesty? I’m going to buy about $100 of LUSH bath products, so what shall I buy under 400 that will make all the sugar baby wanna- be’s jealous, yet encourage them? lol!

  64. Honey says:

    I’m going shopping! What shall I buy?

  65. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    Right, TLG. It is always about simple communication and managing expectations. I always let my SD know when I might be hard to reach due to work obligations.

    There’s nothing more annoying/unattractive than, “I guess you are no longer interested.” text responses when you’ve been away from your phone for a couple of hours.

  66. The Lone Gunman currently in Australia says:

    RE: Texts and other contact.

    One thing I try to always make clear is that when I am busy with a project that will be taking up the majority of my time and attention–so if I seem terse, aloof, or unresponsive it because of that fact–don’t take it personally, I am just insanely focused on what I need to be doing right now. Please do NOT write me expecting an immediate response because of this, and follow-up because you didn’t get one, and…..you get the picture.


  67. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    In my opinion, without some consistency with contact in between dates/visits, true connection cannot develop thus making intimacy more difficult.

  68. Currburr says:

    My Sd and I have ecard wars. He wins.

    However I’m the more agile texter.

  69. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    Enigma – sounds like you have a wonderful SB who understands your needs/desires. That’s awesome. I like sending my SD the occasional text/email/whatever to show him I am thinking about him. I think we all have that human need.

  70. Enigma SD says:

    I think most SDs would like being contacted by their SB occasionally — maybe once or twice a week. There is definitely a balancing act between being clingy/desperate versus not interested. To make it even more interesting, people have different ideas on how much contact is too much. I have contact (text, email or phone call) with my SB about 5 days a week, and she initiates about 40% of the time. That may be too much for others, but it works for us.

  71. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    RE: SBs initiating contact

    Although I don’t understand the short/terse responses, I think when the SD stops contact, the SB may be trying to abide by the “societal dating rule” of not seeming desperate or needy. Discussions that take place over Cosmos or on Internet blogs often tell us that men like being chased! Also, as women we hear men’s horrible tales about women that suffocate them and how they can never get away with out her calling him every five minutes…so some women have learned to sit back and play it cool, so to speak.

    There are some steadfast rules about dating that have been around for years (before June Cleaver, even) that seem to be drilled in our heads. Despite social changes in our society (women’s equality, etc), we are still biologically different and cannot help those innate feelings or expectations that we have of the other sex.

    For me, personally, I don’t follow all of the above rules; ESPECIALLY with this type of dating. I feel standard dating rules/beliefs can be bent to certain degrees. I am not afraid to initiate contact and I agree that if the responses are short, he/she is more than likely uninterested.

  72. Enigma SD says:

    SG2 — I have also found that when most of the responses to emails/text are terse, the SB really isn’t that interested. Also, if I have to initiate contact most of the time, she isn’t that interested. In these cases, I typically stop corresponding, and see if she ever initiates contact. Typically, I never hear from them again or about two weeks later it dawns on them that they haven’t heard from me, and I get a frantic message about how much they have missed me and where am I? lol NEXT!

  73. SouthernGent2 says:

    Going back to walking the talk, I have been in communication with someone new the last week or so. Says she wants to meet me for dinner when I come to town there next week. But it bugs me that all her emails and text are short one sentence or one word answers. So that raises a red flag to me that she might not really be interested, though she claims to be. Its no loss to me if she doesn’t show since I will be there anyway. But since the original subject was “walking the talk”, i do think a potential should be very clear and appear more interested in meeting, as one sentence answers do not convey true interest IMO.

  74. whitelillies says:

    LASB – Me either! I’ve had some offers though…just resulted in me breaking off contact, but maybe I should have stuck around longer, and I could have added some to the collection. Oh regrets!

  75. Carebear says:

    Or her email.


  76. Carebear says:

    I would be happy to bombard lasb’s inbox with penis pictures if I had her mask

  77. LASB says:

    Reach the Beach — LMAO!!!! Not because you received them, but because you still have them a few years later! I would like to start a database of penis pics received by women online. It could eventually make a fun gallery show. haha!

    • SD Guru says:

      Damn. No one sends me penis pictures. I’m feeling left out.

      Be careful of what you wish for!! 😆

      @Kindred Spirit
      Wonder if men get shots of bare breasts and wet vagina’s…and complain? Or laugh, brag and share with their buddies? Or throw up in their mouth a little?

      A gentleman would never complain. He would thank the lady for sharing such intimate expressions of herself and then politely ask for more. :mrgreen:

  78. Carebear says:

    I still think one of the most talented penises I’ve seen is the pic of the guy driving his car holding the wheel and his pants open at the same time and driving the stick and taking a picture with his other hand. And he lives in NYC.

    NYC sb ill give him yo digits =D
    Thank Dw for that lovely find. I thought you would like the shoe part.

    I’m sure everyone is curious now.

    There should be a Sa penis picture calendar.

    Good story ks!

  79. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    I must say I love the ebb and flow of the arrangement world. Today was a phenomenal day in the sugarbowl for me. 9 penis photos later…my big break came. I finally interacted with 4 wonderful, charming, sane potential SDs. All seem promising for now. The race is on.

  80. Reach the Beach SB says:

    June – Ha! You got that one toooooooo! Git er dun!!

    Beach – Absolutely kitten…purrrrrr

    Honey – I’m holding out for the NYC SB Forex club!

    Kindred – Yes!

    G’night sugar <3

  81. Kindred Spirit says:

    Ah, of course that goes both ways, for the gentlemen, too! Just seems…that with the ratio of SBs to SDs on the site…it would be more of a tendency for a girl to settle for just an OK guy…. The real genuine beauties are truly out there, on both sides. I’m thankful to have met in person a few very recently! 😀

    Been on the site for 1 1/2 months and just got my first penis picture last week. We were emailing a little bit, asking questions etc, but I still had no idea what he looked like. He balked at first about sending one, which I thought was kind of weird. He spoke about how more important personality is than looks, etc etc, which is fine but So, here I was, innocently expecting the picture he’d send was of his face. Ah, to be the naive newbie that I am! He told me to pull my panties aside for him…and there was his picture. O_o

    So, everyone, when I kindly asked for a picture so I could attach a visual to his words and who he was, he really did:

    He’s a total dick! LOL

  82. Honey says:

    And I have never paid upfront for something for any guy. I have paid for dinners and flowers, using the money my daddy gives me. It let’s them know that I care for them , that it’s not JUST about the money. Fully 1/2 of one percent of all the money I receive goes back into the relationship. It comes back in spades, the brownie points one gets back are more than worth the initial outlay. Play the long game, ladies.

  83. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    I will share my plethora of penis pics. Only $25.99 annual membership and $3.99 to download. Low Res only. Sorry.

    Enigma – Horror stories and comedy shows! For sure.

    RTB – Penis next to a beer can??? Ew. Was his monster muddin’ truck in the background? Next to his above-ground inflatable pool?

  84. Honey says:

    Yeah , I had one of those cards, stole $32 bucks from me! I prefer high interest bearing Money market accounts, but I’m going to go into Annuities, they are more long term, like $20 or so a month.
    The cd rates are way too low for me and the penalty for taking them out is too high. I’m thinking about starting a stock club. Everyone gets together once a month, puts in 50 dollars and we chose stock. Women investors are sexy! and I’m an older Sb , but I was a sugababy when sugarbaies weren’t cool! Actually, I’m marriage material- I chose too well they always fall in love and want to marry me. So I went to AFF, to have adult relationships and met a guy and made him fall for me, all to no end. So I decided to go to sb sites,so I wouldn’t cut though such a large swath, breaking hearts all the way. Did I mention that I was modest? Didn’t think so,lol!
    Tiffany, if you want to ask me any questions, I’ll happily answer them.

  85. Beach Girl says:

    RTB~ Have a fun trip!!!! Say hi to the Sun for me!!!

    LASB~ if I had kept them ( penis photos) I would send them your way lol 😀

  86. Kindred Spirit says:

    “What kind of unique techniques have you used in your sugar journey to ensure success?”

    Screening, screening, screening. Not, NOT settling. Don’t settle ladies. Make sure you really LIKE this man you’re about to be intimate with! :)

  87. Kindred Spirit says:

    Wonder if men get shots of bare breasts and wet vagina’s…and complain? Or laugh, brag and share with their buddies? Or throw up in their mouth a little?

    Men, what say you? 😉 hehe

  88. NYC SB says:

    Carebear – thanks for the penis pic… Really made my day… Can I get his email address? He is a winner :)

  89. Reach the Beach SB says:

    One was posed next to a beer can…guess which one was bigger.

  90. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Packing for a weekend in the sun!!! It’s soooooooo time!

    LASB – I may have one or two to send your way if you promise to teach these men a little humility! (Sad thing is, I got these on a regular dating site a few years ago :/ )

  91. LASB says:

    Damn. No one sends me penis pictures. I’m feeling left out.

  92. Dandelion Wine says:

    Carebear, luckyyyyy….

    I bet you couldn’t wait to get home and look at it in high def

  93. Carebear says:

    That should be a new facebook relationship status that says “in a relationship…..Idk WTF that means”

    Thank you to everyone hat participated in flooding my inbox with penis pictures. The guys at my pizza joint will now know me as “girl in line that smiles awkwardly at her phone”

    Especially for the file that was “too large” to open on my blackberry

  94. Dandelion Wine says:

    Oh, and I think Bela was being facetious :)

  95. Dandelion Wine says:

    1 with a penis ring (?) around the base – reminded me of some sort of castration mechanism
    It’s called a cock ring, and mainly used by men unable to maintain a nerection. Sad someone wants to take a picture lol

    Carebear, I am stern, but fair :) Speaking of penis pics – u have mail.

  96. Enigma SD says:

    Wow go out of town for a few days and one misses some interesting banter! My SB has her facebook profile status as…. in a relationship and it is complicated…. not the sure wtf that means but just so you know I haven’t been stalking her on facebook, she told me her status.

    Carebear — you make me laugh — what is your profile number so we can hook up some time!

    No June Cleaver — love the moniker — big Leave it to Beaver Fan…. and anyone (SB or SD) who has been sugar dating (or attempting to) has many horror stories… it makes it fun!

  97. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    Carebear – perhaps I should next to you during the next scrapbooking class so we can compare notes. We may have some of the same penis photos. It’s a small world, after all. And I mean that literally and figuratively, of course.

  98. Carebear says:

    I prefer penis pictures. I print them out and make collages on my wall. I save them on my phone and send nice friendly surprise texts to friends.

  99. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    Bela – I actually prefer not to get any kind of penis photos at all. And if the guy is sending me photos while in action with another woman and her face is in it, I especially am turned off because it shows NO respect for his past SB. (or perhaps she was just a hooker…who knows.) At any rate, it speaks a lot about his character and only shows he would be willing to share any photo fun we may engage in during private moments. Thanks, but no thanks.

  100. Carebear says:

    Let’s have a contest as to whom the blog thinks is the meanest. Me, lily, or Dw.

    Dw I think this is a solid gold medal for you. But I luff jooo. <3

  101. Bela says:

    June Cleaver – I don’t know about you but I get REALLY excited when I get a picture of the guy with another girl during condomless sex. It shows he’s willing to commit.

  102. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    For the record, I have been in WONDERFUL arrangements and met some amazing SDs from SA, but lately….WOW. There must be some sort of special advertisement floating around some obscure porn sites garnering all of the recent influx of WEIRDOS on here. Going back into lurk mode. Which has been a big yawn lately anyway. Toodles.

  103. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    Woo hoo! Another penis photo came in today. This time all the way from Beijing. That’s 9 penis photos in 7 days, which I have grouped into categories as follows (aggregate count exceeds total due to multiple offenses in some cases)…

    “GROUP CURVED” (2)
    Wow. That’s some serious curvature going on. So happy you fellas are so proud of your curves. I loves my curves too! Seriously though? WTF?

    1 with a penis ring – I stared at this one for a good while wondering if it was painful.
    1 wearing what looked like Mickey Mouse ears? (the penis, not the man)
    1 with a penis ring (?) around the base – reminded me of some sort of castration mechanism.

    These were basically photos attached with an explanation of “I’m short, but I make up for it in ‘other’ areas that I’m sure you’ll be pleased with. Hint, wink, hint.”

    Oooh, how do I sign up for THAT program? The one where you take a photo of me naked during a private, intimate moment next to your penis and then send it out to everyone online?? Lucky bitches.

    I think I will meander on over to Craigslist and post some of these since the men are so proud.

  104. Lily says:

    I’m feeling left out. Someone tell me that I’m mean, too.

  105. Dandelion Wine says:

    Carebear, your mean!

  106. carebear says:

    DW you’re so mean. Maybe dats y u dun half urr shcool moneys.

    RTB, no worries, mine are always spent immediately and left with $2.43 balances and get thrown in a drawer.

  107. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Carebear/ Honey – some prepaid cards chip away at long-time balances by charging fees every month. Look at the fine print and see if that is the case. You can always withdraw the funds and put them into a short-term CD until you need them.

    Tiffany – Men like well-spoken women.

  108. Dandelion Wine says:

    Carebear, yup. And I need to start worrying about my tuition ugh :(

  109. Dandelion Wine says:

    Hahaha, Tiffany has got to be a troll!

  110. carebear says:

    But its good to have the $ in your account so your credit card processes seamlessly and you’re all set 6 months in advance. Sounds like she’s on top of her game!

  111. carebear says:

    My amex giftcards have expiration years of 2020….

    How am I ever going to meet that deadline!


  112. Dandelion Wine says:

    Carebear, that’s what I thought was the date for early registration, but today is 3/3.
    I didn’t think they could even process your payment before you register and have a balance to apply payment against.

  113. SouthernGent2 says:

    Honey – its fine for SA to give you my email.

  114. Tiffany says:

    Do anybody like black women or what wtf

  115. Honey says:

    And I shall go to your site. Right now gotta go. Gotta see and sugar daddy about a horse! he will be here at 11:40! thanks everyone , June, Dw, I feel so loved…

  116. Honey says:

    American Express giftcards never expire, ladies. I planned on starting out at Community College, your tax dollars at work, then transfer over to another better one after two years. Why pay for English 101 at Rice when HCC offers it for so much less! I’m a budget minded baby, who wants to play for a few years, then settle down and get married. Guys always want to stay in a relationship with me, I never really get a chance to date. I seem to always find the perfect guy or pretty close in just a few dates.The tip for next sems. tuition is books, a lot of the books are not required. My sweetie bought all the books suggested by all my teachers and I returned the non necessary ones and/or bought cheaper used versions. This was before I really trusted him to be there for me. I did not ask him to buy all my books, he gifted them to me as a surprise. I’m in the legal field, those books are monstrously expensive! I told my sweetie after he bought them that I would have loved to have had the money and he had them put it on the next semesters tab. I even have a school visa credit card to use when I sign up next time. Sadly it can also be used anywhere, so I keep it out of site, so I won’t use it!

  117. carebear says:

    DW-my early registration for summer AND fall starts 3/21, and in order to secure my classes, I’m putting cash up.

    If Honey is at a state school, its probably similar.

  118. Lily says:

    Honey, I know exactly the drama you’re describing. Le Sigh. We can email about it if you want advice privately & candidly ( sugarbabySA at live ) or just follow June Cleaver’s advice & go find a new, married-and-staying-that-way SD.

  119. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    As in when you’re in “da club” with a stack, and you throw the money up in the air at the strippers? a la Lil’ Wayne and Fat Joe?

  120. Dandelion Wine says:

    It’s a woman that makes it rain!

  121. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    As my handle implies, I am NO June Cleaver…but can someone tell me what a “RAINWOMAN” is? Please & thank you.

  122. Dandelion Wine says:

    Honey, it’s barely March and early registration for Fall hasn’t started yet. How do you have your next semester paid for if you haven’t registered for classes yet?
    If you mean that you’ve been able to save your allowance to cover the next semester’s tuition – good for you, great handling of money. Impressive, if it’s private school tuition

  123. Dandelion Wine says:

    Honey, it’s barely March and early registration for Fall hasn’t started yet. How do you have your next semester paid for if you haven’t registered for classes yet?
    If you mean that you’ve been able to save your allowance to cover the next semester’s tuition – good for you, great handling of money. Impressive

  124. Honey says:

    Ya’ll can do that? Sure, thanks! Sa- you have my permission to give MY email to SG. Thanks.

  125. SA Email Exchange says:

    SouthernGent2 and Honey – would you us to like to exchange your e-mails?

  126. Honey says:

    SD I’m not quite sure how to do that without telling everyone…. let me get back to you on that…thank you very much, though. I ‘m sure these newbie questions never end.

  127. SouthernGent2 says:

    Honey – I don’t use that name on the site. And I don’t share my profile number here. Now if you want to tell me the state you are located, your age, and any other clue where I can locate you, then I may just message you 😉

  128. Honey says:

    Hey he was already on the way to getting divorced when I met him! This all came down about one month ago. We have only been going out for like four months. Things were great the first three and they still are great but I’m not feeling the same way. We had the talk two or three weeks ago and he said he doesn’t want me to see anybody else, that I didn’t have to marry him, just don’t see anyone else. I told him yeah, I won’t see anyone else and he said “why don’t you just keep me then?” Maybe I can fins a another great sugarbaby to steal him away from me, he’s a keeper,but maybe just not for me.. Any takers ladies?

  129. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    cleo – thanks by the way. I probably will try to delurk more often.

  130. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    Honey – staying until his divorce is over? Moving in? He’s falling for you? You have just chartered into “this is no longer just an arrangement and it’s complicated” status. Put on your big girl boots and wade out of that doo doo.

  131. carebear says:

    WCSD, you may think it is ridiculous, but as YOU just pointed out in MY situation, it DID happen. So from my experience, I was advising the SB strongly against from treading into the SD’s territory of the relationship.

    But hey maybe we should argue about it for another 2 days.

  132. Honey says:

    Should I ask in a different forum?

  133. Honey says:

    I’m thinking about leaving my SD. Am I bad? He is a great guy, they all are, but I’m a serial dater. I told him that. He is married and getting a divorce and wants me to stay until everything is finished which I understand and agreed with but now he is talking about me moving in after! I’m the college baby type, I usually try to keep things light and fun. I know he is falling for me and I can’t stop it and believe it or not, I don’t want to hurt him or see him hurt. I adore him but I’m not ready to settle down? We have talked about it and he agrees but I think he is lying to keep me…Now what? Any suggestions?I’m putting it out there.

  134. WCSD says:

    Carebear – I apologize for not quoting you directly and putting it other words (my god, how horrible of me!). My post was based on your quote “I’ve told the story to a few about how I stupidly turned down shopping and that ultimately sabotaged an arrangement” which I have no way of intrepretting other than a SD dumped you because you didn’t allow him to help you in the way that he wanted to help you (he said ‘next’ to you and went looking for another SB). As I said in my posting, I don’t have a problem with your standard, I’m just saying that I think it is ridiculous for any SD to get upset if the SB either a) offered to pay for anything (date, ice cream, movie, I don’t care, I can turn down her offer), or b) their offer of a specific type of help/gift was turned down (you don’t like shopping, going diving with great white sharks, etc.)

  135. Honey says:

    Southern Gent 2 is your screen name the same as you suger daddy moniker? I’m asking permission to look at it. I’m quasi new to this site and would like to look around and see the regulars…

  136. carebear says:

    I don’t see anywhere in my post where I used the term “the SB should be nexted”, primarily because that term isn’t in my vocab.

    As I said in my post, I think its an unneccessary gesture and a gentleman in a more traditional mindset may take it as “you haven’t shown me that you’re able to take care of me, so just in case you can’t pick this one up, I’m going to make you feel guilty and reach for my wallet”. I just think its a completely unncessary move for a lady ever, especially on a sugar date.

    I don’t even acknowledge the check being dropped at the table. As we stand, I’ll say thank you for dinner, sincerely. IMO, that should be the only exchange.

    This brings us back to my points about chivalry in sugar dating and how its evolved into “I’m a sugardaddy because I buy you a steak, shoes, and give you gas money”. Manners and ettiquette shine through actions not words, and a girl taking out her wallet shows she’s thinking she has to pay, and doesn’t respect the gentleman enough to trust that he will take care of her. Traditional ettiquette!!!!

    When I’m out with the boyfriend or on dates with ‘non-sugars’ (which compared to the ‘sugar’ thats spoken about on the blog, I seem to have sugary boyfriends as well as SD’s) I always expect the guy to pay. The only time I’ll ever do so is if I personally invite them to breakfast or pick up lunch in exchange for a favor (helping me move or something like that), and if they’re smart and were raised right, they’ll say no no you don’t pay for me. I bought my boyfriend dinner on his birthday. But it was pizza. My birthday dinner was Ruth’s.

    You don’t have to agree with me, but these are my standards.

  137. Honey says:

    Southern gent, you are truly!
    I don’t mind buying my sd’s anything, I’ve sent more than a few flowers and candies but his favorite is the “Get out of taking me-Dinner/shopping and let’s just go home and F***! “coupons!
    I am one of the lucky ones, I guess cause I have had mostly great experiences with the guys I meet and they usually end up wanting to keep me longer than I want to stay. Mostly engineers, I think because I come with a lot of instructions and maintenance and most engineers are used to that kind of thing…lol! Off to school – Current Sd paid for, complete with books, he’s got next semester taken care of too! Some guys are soo cool.. I have a couple of questions that I would like to get you guys opinions on soon. Girls, it is still possible to find a great sugerdaddy who will want and adore you for who you are.

  138. WCSD says:

    Carebear – Really? A SD is going to ‘next’ someone because they pull out their wallet at a dinner? Hmmm, I’d think there would need to be far more things going on for that to ‘tip it over the edge’. I agree that it is the SDs responsibility to take care of it, and that if they actually let the SB pay for some or all of it that would be a good reason for the SD to be ‘nexted’. I can’t imagine turning someone down because of that. I’d laugh, and say no I’ve got it, and if they became bitchy, controlling that they insist on chipping in, then maybe I’d see that as an issue, but it would have to be pretty extreme (and as I’ve said other factors would more than likely be involved). As for turning down a shopping trip….Same thing for me….maybe the pot wasn’t in a shopping mood, maybe they’d rather shop alone, again I can’t see that as being an issue for me. I like to help out of course, but only in things that the SB wants help in. If she doesn’t want help with her shopping, should that really bother me all that much?

  139. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    I had a pot SD (after a few exchanges of email), ask if I would mind going DUTCH on our first date. (Yes, it is true.) To that, I replied, “No problem. If you agree to delete your profile from SA , sign up on match.com, pursue women your age and call yourself a regular Joe and not a Sugar Daddy.”

    Needless to say, we never went out. Another one bites the dust. Le sigh.

  140. Dallasbaby says:

    I once had a sugar daddy leave a spa date before I got finished and left the tips up to me because he said the meal was cold so no tip offered. I tipped $ 100.00 to the staff and never spoke to the sd again after that !

  141. carebear says:

    Last post I swear.

    That reminds me of the dude on sd.com that messages you saying
    “Just so you know, I’m 13″ long. I say this now to avoid a potential personality incompatability”


  142. carebear says:


  143. carebear says:

    So SG2 are you saying you’re smaller than 7 inches???????

  144. carebear says:

    If I were a SD, I would be insulted if the lady pulled out her wallet. This setting is all about the gentleman spoiling the lady, I mean I’ve told the story to a few about how I stupidly turned down shopping and that ultimately sabotaged an arrangement (that wouldn’t have happened). The men ‘get off’ on taking care of the woman.

    The other day my SD didn’t have enough 1’s to get a water bottle out of the machine so I gave him mine and now I don’t have 1’s to do my laundry =( so he said to bill him the drycleaning for everything haha. Time to get the cashmere cleaned.

  145. SouthernGent2 says:

    Went to see my doctor about my sore throat. I mentioned to him about my issues with women that are not slim sizes 0-6, and wanted to know if my issues were psychological in nature. He asked me a few questions and told me I have something called “Hornyocious nonerectus”. I asked him what the heck is that? He told me basically that “while you want to be attracted, you simply can’t get it up for anyone that doesn’t conform to your narrow minded thinking about women’s sizes”.

    He then told me its a very rare mental disorder for men, and that I probably will not be able to correct it. He equated it to another disorder called “vagifeminal minute-genital receptory disorder”. What in the heck is that I asked him? He said you have exactly the same disorder that a woman has that will not have sex with a man that has a penis smaller than seven inches.

  146. cleo says:

    i’ve had sd’s bum a buck or two to pad a tip from me, but never more than that… and then only when the wait for the server was more agonizing than me pulling out a fiver and tossing it on the bill

    but that’s extremely rare

  147. NYC SB says:

    I have been with my sd for a year (on and off) and the only thing I have paid for were his birthday shots. I never have offered to pay nor does he expect me to. When on a sugar date I will never ever offer to pay… If he has the balls to ask me to chip in he will be nexted immediately

  148. Carebear says:

    Lucie the profile # will tell you how new they are, every time a member renews their monthly subscription, a new “profile created date” goes at the top of the page.

    If several of us recognize the writing, there’s a reason for that. Also search google for seeking arrangement then his username, sometimes people will post bad reviews about the site on random dating review sites and they will include the username of the person.

    But by all means meet him and report back if you’re feeling confident.

  149. Dandelion Wine says:

    RTB, look up Katie Green, Crystal Renn, Christina Mendez, Natalie Wakeling, Toccara Jones, Polyanna McIntosh (Mac shout out!) for examples of gorgeous and healthy sizes 10-12.
    Short 8-10s are Lily Allen and Kim Kardashian (both 5’2-5’3) – so you don’t even need to be above 5’9 to pull off a bigger size.
    You also don’t need to be skinny to have a SD – Amber Rose was Kanye’s gf for 2 years, and she is no size 0-2, or even 4-6, and Lily Allen always “dated older men” (many of whom happened to be music execs and celebrities) despite previously being a size 12 and currently a still not small size 8.
    The point is (or at least was) NOT that a woman can’t be super-sexy at a size 10-12, the point isn’t even that most size 10-12 women don’t have the shapely and toned hourglass figures and/or boobs proportionately big to their frame (which is what would make them “curvy” and “voluptuous” as opposed to “bigger”) the point is that these women are not thin/slim/slender.

    “Thin, slim, slender” is not “beautiful, healthy, desirable, better than other body types” it is just a
    description of a body type.

    A woman should be self-aware enough to love *herself* for what she is, not some removed idea of what she is or should be.

    In SG2’s case the girl either used to be slender, gained some weight but is still clinging on to her view of herself from years ago, or she wished so hard to be thin than she eventually convinced herself that she is.
    And you know what? It’s a vicious cycle. She advertises herself as thin, attracts men that want a thin girl, faces their disappointment and then goes back to the drawing board with thoughts like “men don’t like me because I’m not thin, if only I was thinner” and then these thoughts don’t let her admit to herself that she is not thin, advertise herself as medium, get attention of men that are attracted to a medium body type, and feel accepted for who she is.

    Pretty much it’s like a man signing up to a site like SA, setting an allowance to 10-20, and then getting hurt that a young pretty girl WAY out of his league didn’t fall in love upon hearing about his charity work and glory days and wasn’t interested in seeing him ever again when she found out he “only” makes 100 k a year.

  150. Lucie says:

    Thanks for the heads up, Lily.
    This guy either has a new profile, or copied it off the guy you’ve seen.
    The rules aren’t on his page. It’s fairly minimal, and well put. It’s also pretty new: Feb ’11.
    Will proceed with caution. Can’t hurt to meet for coffee.

  151. Lily says:

    As for me, the thing it has taken me to get off the sugar search roller coaster was someone that I’m into (that is able and has proven to be willing to meet at least my needs -if not all possible wants) telling me that they are genuinely and deeply fond of me, and are moving forward (without any crystal ball regarding duration, but in good faith) with the goal of building a lasting relationship.

  152. cleo says:

    june cleaver: you’re awesome, you should de lurk a lot

  153. cleo says:

    bela: it smells like people beating a dead horse to death and then digging it up after it’s buried and beating it some more.

    we get it, they don’t agree, maybe the rest of us can stop reading the same circular argument that we’ve had five freaking times already if at least one of the sides just stops.

    just stop, let it go, the horse died a month ago okay?

  154. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    And for the record…

    …there is NOTHING in my profile that would antagonize such behavior. (see my post above)

    Absolutely ludicrous.

  155. Carebear says:

    *that is about lucie’s post

  156. Carebear says:

    I’ve seen it before too but can’t put my finger on it. I’d say the loser from Canada but I can’t remember.

    Again, anyone that sends a long tangent email about relationships and no specifics about you is a spammer and should not be taken seriously. Also my #1 new screening rule, anyone with less than. 5 something profile number has been on the site too long to seriously still be looking. I know some people are going to challenge this but I don’t see any valid argument behind it.

  157. Honey says:

    Off to work, so glad I found ya’ll! Talk to you later!

  158. Honey says:

    Tracking back on two previous topics. Of course it would be with the discretion warranted by the situation, sending flowers. I sent my SD flowers to his work, his secretary already knows about me. Big bonus brownie points for me. He was so proud to see them on Valentines day, he thought they were from a corporate recruiter. he said he had never received flowers before…It was cheap and easy, I called the florist and talked to him personally to make sure he would remember me and my flowers among all the others. I’m a great sugar baby or personal paid companion! and what would I what to achieve what I need when I stop ? My school finished, a dependable car, , all my dental care, (takes money to maintain a great smile)and a little bit saved up when I am on my own building and working in the kind of world I would be proud to live in. and travel and shoes, gots to have the shoes!

  159. Sara says:

    Hey dolls! I haven’t been active on the blog in a while, so I have no idea where to even start with this conversation…. lol

  160. No June Cleaver (SB) says:

    De-lurking (as some of you so eloquently called it)to post a quick VENT. And oh, how I wish all SDs (and those supposed wannabe SDs) would take a peek and read the following:

    I am appalled and utterly disgusted by the actions listed below by SDs on SA who have contacted me. NOTE: Not in any particular order to express my level of disgust with each one.

    And here we go, without further adieu (cue drum roll, please)…

    1)Throwing in a penis picture amidst your vacation photos and varied photos of your planes, trains & automobiles – just to see if I can “handle what you offer”. Yes, I threw up in my mouth a little.

    2) Asking ME to pay for my airfare & hotel to meet you in another country and you will give me cash upon my arrival? Ok, so you might be married, I get it. Your need for discretion is totally understood. However, going further to tell me to leave a hotel key at the front desk for you and you will meet me in the room late in the evening? HELLO. I smell a bad idea (at best) and a human trafficking ring (at worst) in the air. And it reeks.

    3) Telling me you will spoil and pay me to watch while I “ride a hung black man” is not a great way to initiate your first contact with me. Or ANY future contact with me, for that matter. Despite what your bank account tells you…you don’t have it LIKE THAT with me.

    4) Sending me photos of other SBs on the site who have sent you naked photos with the underlying message of, “hey, look all your friends are doing it…” will not twist my arm to send you photos of ME naked. I grew out of peer pressure mode when I left high school. You, however, apparently need to stay back there.

    5) Telling me you EXPECT me to be with other men and women in your very first (very poorly written, I might add) letter to me only warrants a knee-jerk reaction to immediately BLOCK you. Congratulations, you’re a douchebag.

    Oh, I just made myself nauseous typing out those 5. Going back into lurk mode and grabbing a barf bag. Please continue with your regularly scheduled program.


  161. Dandelion Wine says:

    I’d have to agree with Lily, I think I’ve seen that piece of text before.

  162. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Carebear- I should proof better….meant to say that I agree.

  163. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Good morning sugars!

    Bela – :-) You make me smile!

    Carebear – love those southern roots! However the desire for voluptuous women is alive and well.

    If I listened to the people that said you’re the wrong size, wrong age, wrong part of the country, etc. I would have been a fool. I’m here to say there is sugar to go around regardless of those factors. It may require a little more work, but I guess that depends on who you ask.

    Lucie – That sounds like the perfect guy for me, but I’ve never seen his profile or had a conversation with him. Heed Lily’s warnings and be careful.

    Honey – To GenuineSD’s point, you do have to ask if the flowers would bring unwanted attention. Buying gifts for SDs can be tricky…particularly if they are married.

    Lily- It only takes one who treats me right, does what he says he’s going to do and one whom I know I can provide that oasis. I don’t need or want multiple SDs, so it may be that it’s my personal preference.

  164. SA Email Exchange says:

    Kara and Dandelion Wine – Would you care to contact one another offline?

  165. Lily says:

    That SD has been on the site for years. I’ve read that text on his profile many times. He is obviously a slick player on this site, to be using the same cut/paste text on profiles or via emails he sends out, and to have an active profile on this site for a long period of time. I would be wary of any man who has an active subscription to this site for years….chances are he has figured out his slick routine which works heavily in his favor, which is why he keeps coming back to the trough so frequently, so don’t be his next victim in a loooooong line of women. Just from a sexual health point of view I’d avoid someone who has been and is being so darned promiscuous.
    Just my 2 cents!

  166. Bela says:

    I love the smell of drama in the morning……Oh, wait….no, I don’t. Smells like feet.

  167. Dandelion Wine says:

    Kara, stop backpedaling. You used Lisa’s BMI earlier to make a point against this PREVALENT problem of people becoming underweight.

    I am sure you are well aware that “I will be receiving my doctorate” would have been a less misleading way to present your qualifications than “I will be a doctor”. Frankly I was very surprised you expected me to believe you passed MCAT. Also you are 3 years away from your PhD, so this far your only qualification is bachelor’s in exercise science.
    “but the outdated government agencies who are the only ones who still believe in BMI (like you apparently do) say it IS a reliable indicator of body fatness? You just contradicted yourself right there”
    Do you mind actually quoting MY words? I’m not certain where you are getting your interpretations that you then argue against.
    “You are missing the point about actual individual body composition.”
    If that’s the point I’m missing now, you missed it when you started making recommendations based on Lisa’s BMI :)

    I believe you that you are a marathon runner. May I also venture a guess that you like to run in circles?

    Also, as it has been suggested to you many times, when you reference “proven research” you should cite your source.

  168. happynewbie says:

    Hi All!
    I’m new to this, and this blog and the comments section have been really helpful!

    I’d just like to ask for some advice, it’s a little silly, so I apologise in advance!

    If you’ve been messaging with a potential SD on the site, and then he says goodbye and signs off for the night, should you initiate contact with him again the next evening . Or should you wait for him to contact you again instead? I’m really sorry if this seems like a really trivial question, but I don’t want to get the etiquette wrong!

    Any help would be appreciated!

    happynewbie xxx

  169. GenuineSD says:

    As others have advised before, I’d argue against offering to pay for dinner. This arena is different, and SDs on first dates( or early dates ) should be expected to pay for dinner. It can be a screening tool actually… As things progress in an arrangement and you develop a feel for things a well calibrated gesture would probably be appreciated…. but that’s after a while…

    I think it’s a matter of discretion. What is your agreement on PDA? Would delivery of flowers raise awkward questions for him? Remember, you may not have a full picture of his life outside sugar…

  170. Kara says:

    I actually don’t bullshit my lovely idiot clients with their BMI because BMI is bullshit. Doing so would be a disservice to them. No one uses it anymore because it’s no longer up to date info!! It’s not something I would waste my time or theirs calculating. I could tell you exactly how “fat” each of my clients is because I’ve accurately measured their body fat with an accepted measurement tool. The only one who is challenging me is DW. SDinLA and SBLA both agreed with my point that BMI is flawed and inaccurate. And I will be a DPT (Doctor of Physical Therapy).

    So DW, you’re telling me that “BMI isn’t meant to be a precise measure of body fat” but as I said in my first post that “Body mass index is defined by the CDC as “a number calculated from a person’s weight and height. BMI provides a reliable indicator of body fatness for most people” “. So you’re telling me that it’s not a precise measure of body fat but the outdated government agencies who are the only ones who still believe in BMI (like you apparently do) say it IS a reliable indicator of body fatness? You just contradicted yourself right there. You don’t even know what BMI is then. Your fellow believers in BMI say it is your body fat. You are missing the point about actual individual body composition. Every person is different. You can’t generalize based on height and overall body mass (which is how BMI is calculated). Everyone has a different amount of body fat. No one person has the same amount of muscle (fat free mass) or the same amount of fat as another person at that same height and weight. For example, I am a marathon runner. The amount of muscle (fat free mass) and fat in my body is going to be completely different than someone who is at the same height and weight who has never worked out in their life and has low muscle mass. So we cannot be the same BMI, because I would have less fat and more muscle. Someone with a lot of lean muscle mass (ex: body builder or someone who just lifts regularly) could be considered overweight even if they have low percent body fat. Those are two examples of how it isn’t individualized and shouldn’t be a generalized process. Someone who exercises is going to have different body comp than someone who never does. Everyone has different physical activity levels, therefore different amounts of fat and muscle on their body. And that makes a large range of BMI’s for a certain height and weight. Everyone is different, and not every person at a certain height and weight has the same amount of fat on their body. I am not debating about the categories because they are bullshit because of the outdated science that is behind them. BMI doesn’t accurately measure your body fat so it can’t be used to put you in a category based on body fat. Basically, no matter what, BMI could put ANYONE (100% of the entire population, even you) in a wrong category (whether that be underweight, healthy, overweight) because it does not account for the composition of your own personal body. The only way you can know is to get a test done on your own body like the ones I listed in the first post. Researchers have discovered and proven since BMI first came out ages ago that you can’t put people into categories like that because of the large range of differences. Not even the “absolute majority” of people. I guess if that doesn’t make sense then I don’t know what to say. You can just keep on thinking that everyone at one height and weight has the same body fat percent.

    I wasn’t aware that you could really “debate” a “fact” that is current and backed by current scientific research especially if you’re not a current doctor or current researcher in that field. DW is telling me that current info is wrong and she knows better which isn’t true. Her “facts” are outdated. Current research has proven that BMI is not accurate.

  171. Michael Alleycat says:

    Lily – was that directed at me?

  172. Lucie says:

    Hello ladies and gents/patrons/Batmen?

    I’m new to the blog, but I’ve been reading for a few weeks. So basically, I know you, but you don’t know me.

    Just thought I’d share an excerpt from a great email a new pot sent me this morning. Could be useful in your own searches.


    1. HONESTY. If there’s deception in an SD-SB relationship, it most likely will not work. This doesn’t mean we volunteer information about every aspect of our lives. But the need for honesty requires that whatever we say to each other must be true.

    2. We will have respect, affection, concern, interest, and maybe even “love” for each other, but we will NEVER “fall in love” with each other. There MUST be boundaries. There can’t be jealousy, possessiveness, or judgmental behavior.

    3. I must let you be young and you must let me be, well, not so young.

    4. There must be realistic, reasonable, and clear expectations between us, but with flexibility for modification. Good comunication is a must.

    5. NO DRAMA when we’re together.

    6. We each understand we have mutual obligations under our agreement, and the right to benefits under our agreement stems from full performance of our obligations.

    7. I will always give you your support cheerfully, on time, and without having to be asked.

    8. During our time together, we will give each other our complete and undivided attention.

    9. Normally, we will see each other once a week, once for play and maybe once for an outing of your choice. The outings could be to do things you might not normally do with your circle of friends. We should each try our utmost to make sure we meet our schedule and last-minute cancellations should be for emergencies only.

    10. We will have a safe, comfortable, clean, and accessible place to meet.

    11. Some SDs have more than one SB, but that’s not for me. I like to devote my time, attention, and resources to one SB. You, in turn, must be satisfied with only one SD.

    12. Either of us may end our agreement at any time and for any reason. When our arrangement ends, we should each try our best to make the transition smooth.”

    So refreshing and sexy to hear from a guy who knows what he wants!

    As for the BMI discussion, I’m going to agree with Lily. We’re on a sugar dating site, not Match, where people are looking for looking for “relationships”. We’re looking for arrangements, and yes, we all want some kind of bond or connection, but from the get go, sugar relationships originate on a much more surface level. Attributes normally considered “superficial” (wealth, beauty) are carry more importance here. We just have to accept that, and accept that beauty is subjective, and everyone has a right to their preferences. Our preferences aren’t always fair. I’m inexplicably not into blonde guys. I’m sure there are some amazing blonde guys out there, but visually they just don’t do it for me.
    Does that make me a bad person?
    Not any more so than a man who likes a toned pair of abs.
    Sure, we’d all be more evolved if we could open up our spectrum of attraction, but not all of us are quite there yet.

  173. Lily says:

    Good morning when it gets to y’all… Sun is shining brightly with clear blue skies here…

    So can I ask the blog a question?

    What does it take for YOU to stop searching & be satisfied with your sugarlife?

  174. Carebear says:

    Dw didn’t say anything mean to anyone. All she did was debate facts. If you’re goin to come on Here and state a ‘fact’ you better make sure your right, otherwise anyone has the right to call you out, at which point you can debate that and provide a mark of citation like she does when people question her sources, or you can swallow your pride and sit down.

    THis isn’t directed at anyone in particular because there are way too many people that have challenged her for me to name.

    Taking things personally are for ecards and your ex bf’s facebook statuses. This is an online forum, for all we know we’re just a bunch of talking computers so take it at that.

  175. Lily says:

    Oh & it surely goes both ways. I’ve been told that I’m too skinny or small breasted to be of interest.

  176. Lily says:

    I guess because judging & discriminating is what a sugar search & weeding out process is all about. This ain’t no equal opportunity charitybowl. Would you be into a guy equally if he were offering a $1000 per month allowance as opposed to a $6000 per month allowance or would you prefer the latter? If that’s alright, why can’t a guy straight up prefer & seek only skinny sugarbabes?

  177. Honey says:

    One last post before bed. I think dandelion wine was way too harsh and petty. I am one of those “fat” women. At my thinnest I was a size 6, I was in my 140’s weight-wise. I have big boobs and broad shoulders, tiny wrists and ankles and big feet. I stand 5’5 and when I put my measurements into many an online calculator it tells me that I can’t have two different bone sizes for my frame. I can’t be a 5’5 women with legs the length of a much taller woman. My limbs are long and I think my bones must be heavy also. When I was in my 140’s the Insurance charts said I should be 126. My parents and my sister kept telling me that I didn’t need to lose anymore weight. But I thought maybe I can get down to 126lbs(That’s what the chart said) and a size 4 or maybe two. I think maybe since I had them to encourage me I stopped, glad I didn’t have any dandelion wine to drink back in those days. Right now, I’m in my 150, wear size six to 12 10-12 on top(told you about those shoulders!) and six to about 10 on the bottom. So, some would probably call me fat. Yet I manage.lol! good night all you you non standard sized women. Skinny, tall, large and small, how come we just can’t love them all?

  178. Lily says:

    I have a slim frame which best fits into a size 2 or xs when I am in tip-top-shape. If I get stressed and gain a single digit amount of weight, my cheeks puff out & my body looks blobby. Size 2 might still fit, but it’s a muffin-top situation if there’s no stretch in the waistband. But, then, I’m miserable at how I look naked & I feel less confident so I switch into pay-attention-mode, postpone any dates, and drop the few pounds to get back to ‘completely slim’ mode. I can see how BMI isn’t terribly accurate when, on my 5’7″ frame, the difference between 118 & 125 is such a quantum leap from hot to ‘not.’ (& on the BMI it would barely register as a difference) I guess some bodies have cool places to stash a few excess pounds without looking puffy, and some of us have the unlucky habit of putting it immediately on cheeks & waistline?

  179. Honey says:

    Hey, off topic, how many of you Babes have ever bought flower for your patron?

  180. Honey says:

    What kind of unique techniques have you used in your sugar journey to ensure success?
    I try to always be happy and show it! I want my Patron to always think of good memories and great times when they see me. Seems to work. I have been to Europe, Paris, to be exact and I have a kepi blanc to prove it!

  181. cleo says:

    you know i’ve been out a few times with a local girl who is all curves whereas i am a tall, slender, muscular, hourglass. riddle that if you dare as a true combination of words to describe a body.

    anyway she bigger everywhere than i am and hmm 6 inches shorter, has an incredible smile and a beautiful face and the most AMAZING curves i have ever seen and has consistently been the one who gets hit on, asked out or called the next day. every single time we went out.

    so don’t kid yourselves, not all men want women who look like models any more than all men like women built like sticks, teenage boys, curvy girls, “round is a shape” shapely girls, muscular girls, tomboyish girls or girly girls.

  182. Carebear says:

    *melting pot

    Almost had a icrap free post. Damn.

  183. Carebear says:

    Collegesb! Uh mah gah I haven’t talked to you in fah evaaaaaa!

    First, it’s proceeding* not preceding! GET IT RIGHT!

    Second, to continue on her point, may I (once again) drag us back to a more traditional time where conventional looks were basically the only acceptable looks. This is not for everyone, but for most. Society taught us at an early age (society’s childhood not *your* specific childhood) that the feminine look of a woman is best shown with a 22 inch waist bound in a sinch with the apple of the bosom exposed and her cheeks pinched till they’re red. Now, some of us more aware folks may have noticed, times have changed. Just as a man’s preference has. However, through genetics and breeding (the same forces of nature that tell a bird to fly south, yes men are implanted with mercury chips in their brains), man is still mostly attracted to a slim, or ‘fit’ woman.

    Just as we, gold diggers, are attracted to an established and successful man (someone that has their act together).

    It is within the theory of Darwinism, natural selection will always lead the animal to pick the best suited partner for procreation (sex, for those of you that skipped science class). It is only natural, In our blood, that we seek the best partner to mate with. Men are stimulated by looks, women are stimulated by touch (or money). And our hormones tell us to have babies with one another.

    Back to today’s society, through generations mixed in he Melton pot, preferences have changed, and so has natural selection. Just like man now seeks a successful career driven woman as the best mate to breed for intelligence. Or his neighbor that seeks the small town girl that will stay at home and breast feed the kids till they’re 5 because she expresses the best ‘maternal qualities’ which in his subconscious thought mean the best spawn.

    And before anyone throws this at me, we can track our roots back to bc/ad, where roman and Greek culture, all the way into medieval periods, would view the skinny man and woman as a poor mate, since they come from a family of no means. A woman who was full figured was attractive in the sense that she was important enough or came from a good enough family to be well-nourished.

    I can’t prove it, mostly because I’m not that slick with the iPhone (perhaps a genetic deficiency), but being a non-skinny busty girl myself, I’ve noticed a trend in the men that are attracted to me. Usually there’s a common denominator in their ethnic background trailing back to a certain section of Europe that I won’t name so no one can attack me for racial profiling.

    But anyway, what was the question again?

  184. Dandelion Wine says:

    Also, when you say “doctor”, do you mean MD – as in doctor of medicine, or some kind of PhD in exercise science?

  185. Dandelion Wine says:

    Kara, BMI isn’t meant to be a precise measure of body fat, it is used in ranges.
    And exactly because BMI ranges are so liberal, once you are in the “overweight” category you are fat -pretty simple and accurate. You can bullshit your idiot clients that they are not fat because BMI is inaccurate, and you can lie to yourself, but on a personal level – if you are going to reject BMI as an acceptable measure to determine if someone is overweight, you definitely shouldn’t use it as a basis for your concern that someone might be underweight or god forbid at a risk of developing an eating disorder. That’s all :)

  186. Kara says:

    DW- my post wasn’t directed at you, and suddenly you appear as an expert on the subject (which you have clearly proven that you are not, haha). BMI in no way, shape, or form can ACCURATELY measure every person’s body fat. I would LOVE to see you try to prove that it is accurate for the “absolute majority” of people. No one who is up to date in the field actually uses it. It’s only used by the government because it’s easy and inexpensive to figure out. It is so completely over generalized and out dated and if you can’t see that when modern science has proven it to be inaccurate, no one can help you. Are you saying you are disagreeing with modern PROVEN research on the subject? Are you a doctor? (I’m not yet but I will be as of May 2014) Where are you getting these facts to tell me that I’m wrong by saying it’s inaccurate when I’ve went to school in that field for the past 4 years? Why are you so right and modern science is wrong?

    The body builder example was just one of many examples, and I didn’t insinuate that being a body builder was a good thing. Just an example of inaccurate BMI’s. Since I am apparently soooo wrong and you are soooo concerned, why don’t you go get your percent body fat tested by a professional once a week for a couple weeks, compare it to your BMI, and prove ME wrong? Please let me know what happens. I’m dying to know. You clearly have no idea what you are talking about so I am just not going to reply to your ignorant comments on the subject anymore. I was just trying to HELP so I don’t know why you are continuously attacking the subject. I voiced my knowledge because I was concerned as a professional in the field and a person. MOVE ON!! Seriously, I’m done with the subject. Not commenting on it again. I’m sure everyone else is getting annoyed. Let me know when you can come up with some real, current information.

    I guess you are just one of those “rare persistent few” and “I guess I just don’t quite understand why you have such an interest”…:)

    Have a great night everyone and sorry for the increasingly annoying posts.

  187. College SB says:

    Wow, size seems to be a very touchy topic around here. **preceding with caution**

    The large, noisy elephant in the room must be addressed. Looks matter. They do. They are not the only thing that matters and are certainly not the most important (especially in the long run, as we all cannot avoid aging), but attractiveness could be considered the proverbial foot-in-the-door. Plus, come on, let’s all consider the parameters of this site for a second. Sexual and fiscal attractiveness (generosity) are crucial in this world. We really shouldn’t be so shocked or upset that someone states he prefers a slim physique.

    That said, different men find different looks attractive. C’est la vie. While I understand that some men (NOT referring to SouthernGent – just in case someone takes it as that) can be rather uncouth in stating their personal preferences, it is up to the woman whether or not she allows some random guy’s opinion affect her self-esteem. I mean, yeah, many men will probably find a feminine and toned figure more attractive than someone who resembles the Michelin man, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

  188. Bela says:

    Love it RTB!!! You are so thoughtful.

    Watching The King’s Speech. I can’t help it. I love Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush. Such a nerd.

  189. WCSD says:

    Ballerina – I don’t think it is a silly gesture (well it is silly in that there is no way I’d let you pay for dinner, but it isn’t silly as in I find it offensive if a pot or even a SB does it). Reach the Beach does have some good ideas too that can also help with making things impressive.

  190. Reach The Beach SB says:

    Welcome BallerinaSB!

    I don’t mean to be ambiguous, but it’s a tough call. Instead of reaching for the wallet, if you like him and wish to continue the conversation, offer to treat him to a pastry at the local specialty bakery or something personal and meaningful to you. Obviously, he doesn’t expect you to pay for dinner and the gesture can be sweet, but it lacks imagination. If you’ve spent time getting to know him before meeting, perhaps you find his favorite cigar, or remember a quote from his favorite author, comedian, etc. These gestures show you’re thoughtfulness in a much more impressive way. Hope it helps!

  191. BallerinaSB says:

    New SB here with a silly question: Do you do the wallet-reach when the bill comes on a first sugar date?

    In real life dating, I always reach for my wallet and offer to pay when the bill comes. In sugar dating, however, the financial expectations of my date are pretty clear. We both know he’s going to pay, so is the wallet-reach a silly gesture?

    Thank you for your help!

  192. Beach Girl says:

    I agree with Cleo and LASB! SD in LA you need to delurk more often! 😀

  193. Bela says:

    Maybe they can start a Seeking Arrangement for Fatties site. Then chicks who yo-yo between 10-12 (like me) can have a place to call their own :)

    I tend to tell the pot upfront about my size, because I know many will feel like SG2. I take no offense to it, because I prefer men who are also healthy. I’m not attracted to bodybuilders or twinkie size men, but I’m not looking for Big Punisher either. Physical attraction isn’t everything, but it does matter.

  194. Dandelion Wine says:

    Kara, Lisa hadn’t mentioned her BMI until I brought it up and by that time she already made it pretty clear she was comparing her weight not even to anybody else, but to her own weight at different stages of her life. Scroll upwards and re-read.
    BMI is a pretty accurate measure for an absolute majority of people; the select few that it may not apply to are professional body builders and some athletes, but their proportion in general population is so negligible that they shouldn’t even be used as an example, especially since professional body builders aren’t exactly a picture of health, and a fairly athletic man within a healthy BMI range will generally live a lot longer than the overweight bodybuilder dude.

  195. cleo says:

    Beach Girl at the time i was hmm… 21? so my dad would have been in his fifties which would mean he was still smoking so yeah, I guess he looked like he was forty… but I looked 25 when I was 15 and when I was 25 I looked 25 and when I was 30 I looked 25 and now that I’m 39 guesses vary from 24 (!!!!) to 35.

    He was horrified, I was so busy laughing at how horrified he was that I totally missed the horror.
    SDinLA I miss you here on the blog, can we be email friends so I can enjoy your voice of reason on occasion? Or you could just visit more often?

  196. Kara says:

    Thank you SDinLA!!

    My only point was TO Lisa that her desire to lose weight shouldn’t be based on her BMI and then I explained why it was not an accurate measure of body composition, Can we seriously be done with this conversation now?? This isn’t what the blog is about.

  197. Dandelion Wine says:

    counsellingresource.com/distress/eating-disorders/anorexia.html – diagnostic criteria.
    BMI below 17.5 is a prerequisite, although not a sufficient condition.
    That is a weight below 118 lbs for someone who is 5’9″, below 105 lbs for someone who is 5’5, and below 92 lbs for someone who is 5’1. Do you really meet THAT many college age girls that meet the weight cut offs?

    It should also be noted that the criteria are for adults; kids and teenagers have different BMI distribution (so called growth charts) and a BMI of 14-15 is perfectly healthy for girls under 13.


  198. Dandelion Wine says:

    SDinLA, every other starlet that is too lazy to go to the gym and lose the extra chunk is now coming out with the “I used to have an eating disorder, but now I am all better and love my body” public campaign. I know a lot of girls who claimed to have an eating disorder while not meeting the diagnostic criteria. It’ messed up, but people have been satisfying their need for attention by faking some sort of illness for a long long long time. Some even went as far as to fabricate stories of hospitalization. These girls are collectively known as wannarexics.
    Eating disorders are a mental illness, and existed for centuries before TV and printing press were even invented.

  199. SDinLA says:

    I’m going to delurk to agree with Kara because this is an issue that is close to my heart. Those NIH stats on eating disorders are a perfect example of “lies, damned lies, and statistics.”

    My 3 SBs were all college age students. 2 of the 3 had serious eating disorders as teens to the point where they had to be hospitalized. I have relatives who had serious eating disorders in college 20 years ago, and I’ve been involved with several organizations for 2 decades that deal specifically with issues that young women have, and it’s gotten much worse with the 24/7 exposure to unrealistic body images that girls today are bombarded with in this internet age.

    From my own firsthand experience hanging around college age women over the past 5-6 years, I would say that a significant % of current adolescent and college age females have had some kind of issues with eating disorders at some point in their lives. 1% is a joke. Unless the students I have been around are not typical, and my experience covers everything from large public schools in California to Ivy League institutions and everything in between, I would say at LEAST 1/3 of the college age girls I have spoken to admit to having had some kind of an eating disorder, and that leaves out all the ones who are in denial.

    There is undoubtedly a problem with obesity in this country today, and our poor dietary/exercise habits are causing similar issues in other countries these days too with the spread of American fast food and such, but to claim that eating disorders are statistically insignificant is IMO specious. Yes BMI is a flawed criteria, as many govt. standards are. But overweight people usually don’t care about their BMI, from my experience anyone who calculates their BMI and worries about it is much more likely to be at risk of worrying too much about being overweight and having body image issues than anything else, and I think Kara’s response was perfectly reasonable.

  200. Beach Girl says:

    Cleo~ omg, not sure I would of like someone saying that I was my dad’s wife… You don’t look old, so your dad must look very young! 😀

    Hope everyone had a great day! Sucky weather here, ice rain and snow mix… blah!!!!

  201. Kara says:

    She actually said “OMG my BMI is 21 :(” but okay. I really was just trying to help so I don’t know where you’re going with that. And many, many cases of eating disorders are not reported. I couldn’t give you a statistic on it but there are many more cases then reported by that government website.

    Moving on…

  202. Dandelion Wine says:

    Most of the times I am introduced as Ms. [my last name] and the people don’t have the nerve to question further. When I happen to be unaccompanied, especially nosy staff sometimes asks questions like “how do you guys know each other” – I just ignore the question and continue doing what I was doing, and to the rare persistent few that don’t take a hint I may have to say “pardon me, I guess I just don’t quite understand why you have such an interest”.

  203. Dandelion Wine says:

    HUH? What high prevalence of eating disorders? The most prevalent eating disorder is binge eating, and anorexia and bulimia *combined* (0.6% prevalence for anorexia and 1% for bulimia) don’t affect as many people as binge eating does. With more than 2/3 of adult Americans overweight or obese, I REALLY wouldn’t be worrying about even running into someone who might be anorexic.
    nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/the-numbers-count-mental-disorders-in-america/index.shtml (scroll down to eating disorders)

    I don’t think Lisa even mentioned her BMI, looks like you are trying to save her from your own demons.

  204. Kara says:

    I’m aware of all the diseases and such that come with being overweight. I deal with clients who are overweight everyday. I’m also aware of the high prevalence of eating disorders in this country and I was trying to say to Lisa in not such an intrusive way that Lisa shouldn’t want to lose weight because her BMI is healthy and not underweight. But I didn’t want to get that in depth with it. Just trying to educate on something that I’m knowledgeable about. If she wants to lose weight to look better, that’s great! But she shouldn’t want to based on BMI. That’s all.

    Anyways, enough about fitness.

    One time, I was having issues with a landlord. My former SD was a landlord and ran a real estate business of some sort. He offered to call my landlord to and tell them that he was my father. HA. I asked him if he would please never say that again.

  205. Michael Alleycat says:

    I referred to my SB once as “my cousin from outta town”. She nearly strangled me, as she knew the movie reference. Oooops.

    And yes I am on a mountain, iPhone works! Talk to you in a week….

  206. cleo says:

    i’ll never forget when someone said to my *actual* father “and will your wife be wanting anything else sir?” he about died of apoplexy!

  207. Carebear says:

    He was joking. Whole point of my, I guess not that funny, story.

  208. SD Guru says:


    So you went from being his daughter to his wife in one vacation?? My, what a twisted world we live in!! :mrgreen: You have to wonder about SD’s who refer to his SB as a close relative or a significant other, when a simple “she’s a good friend” would do. Believe me, it makes no difference to whoever he’s saying it to.

  209. Carebear says:

    My Sd refers to himself as ‘man friend’ but I’m his ‘girlfriend’. However nothing is better than when I arrived at our vacation And a man approached me in the airport and said “excuse me -my real name- your father sent me to look for you……he is your father correct?”. Ok so immediately I panic and think ‘how the hell does my dad know I’m here’ then I think ‘I’m totally goog toget thrown into a van and taken somewhere where they harvest Americans like in tAken or some Eli Roth movie’ and then I realize ‘oh, my father.’. Ha! I said something like yeahhhh he’s a friend, good friend. Couldn’t really say it’s business related.

    Oh but wait it gets better. So on the resort I’m immediately greeted with “oh mrs. -his last name- it’s so good to see you!” he said when they asked if we were celebrating anything he got nervous and said 1 year wedding anniversary. Because simply ‘her birthday’ was too complicated? And he referred to me as ‘my wife will have the’ for the rest of the entire trip and my face turned bright red each time.

    And I still can’t really pronounce his last name.

  210. Enigma SD says:

    ohhhh and euphemisms…. when my SB and I are out socially interacting with other people, we say we are “good friends” and I think they figure it out. If they press us too much for details, we say we are niece/uncle and we met at the family reunion – that has always put an end to the questions :)

  211. Enigma SD says:

    Hello all — anyone who has been sugar dating for a while has been misled. That is why you meet in person! I have my share of horror stories. I have noted there are wide ranging definitions of slim, athletic and average. I often see a younger SB will describe herself as average when I would consider her to be slim – I think she is comparing herself to her friends. Some women have medium or larger frames, and can be slim (low body fat), and can be perceived by some men to be average. There is one thing that used to annoy me — people will say average meaning they are average for their peers (maybe 20 pounds overweight). To me, average means you are height and weight proportionate for your body type — it doesn’t mean that you are average for your friends…. but again, ask for pics, and look closely…. and yes, as someone said above…. upper arm is a great indicator on a woman :)

    Sugar life is going splendid for me – happy not to be looking!

  212. Aurelia says:

    Oh, and as far as the blog question goes… in the past, I have never really developed any euphemisms for my SDs. However, my current SD and I are able to laugh and joke aboout our “relationship” and as a result I have a few nicknames for him. His name starts with the letter P so most of the time I call him Papa P. I love that one its my favorite! He just laughs and rolls his eyes. I do have one friend who knows about my relationship with him (for travel purposes, I want someone to know where I am at all times just in case anything bad or an accident were to happen) and I have never revealed his real name to her, we just refer to him as Papa P when we tak about him. That is also how I have his number stored in my blackberry! haha

    Occasionally I will call him Daddy Dinero (dinero meaning ‘money’ in spanish) and sometimes I call him Big Poppa like Kim Zoliack from Real Housewives Atlanta called her SD. He and I both love country music and our song is “Who’s Your Daddy” by Toby Keith. Even if you don’t like country music listen to it once, I bet all of you will find it amusing and will probably be able to relate to it on some level.

  213. Aurelia says:

    Hi Everyone! :)

    It has been a while since I last posted. I just skimmed the blog and I am glad to see lots of familiar names here. Hope your sugarlives are all going fabulously!

    The SD and I are heading up to NYC in a few weeks. I know many of you are from NYC and I was hoping you could give me some suggestions for dinner reservations? We are from the Carolinas and neither of us has been to NYC in about two years. Suggestions on great steakhouses, fine dining, and any place I can dress up would be most appreciated! We will be staying at the Ritz near Central Park so even better if you know some great resturants in that part of town. Two nights we are there we will be going to see Wicked and Jersey Boys so resturants near Broadway would be fantastic too. Thanks in advance for your help! :)

  214. Lily says:

    Actually we have talked about fitness enough on this blog, there are discussion forums for that but this ain’t it.
    Be as sexy & fit & sugary sweet as you can, ladies, and men be as honest, respectful, reliable, & generous as you can, ….but the sugarbowl is imperfect as is the rest of the human experience so do the best with the hand you’re dealt, right?

  215. Dandelion Wine says:

    Healthy BMI range is 18.5-24.9
    Kara, I am pretty sure Lisa wants to lose weight because she thinks she looked better at the weight she had when she was younger and the look and fit of clothes, not because she was concerned about her BMI.
    And if BMI is “too generalized”, I don’t know what to make of your advice.
    Moreover, considering the high percentage of people who have health problems because they are overweight and a very very low percentage of people who have health problems because they are underweight, I just don’t understand this fear of “becoming unhealthily thin”. Let’s be realistic – that is not a risk factor for 99.99% people who are toying with the idea of the diet and exercise program.

    And yes, I need a new phone :(

  216. Sugar says:

    Regarding expectations; I will briefly touch base before meeting and leave it until after the second date. At that point I would hope the SD would mention whether he would like to pursue something or not.

    As for the comment regarding descriptive terminology of sizes; I absolutely agree. I am 5’8.5″ and a size 4-6 but generally say I am averagely built, due to the fact that in my circle, I am average size.  That said, the same thing can apply to gentlemen! I am a tall girl and if you claim 5’10” but are really 5’6″…I’ll notice.   

  217. Carebear says:

    Someone needs a new phone.

  218. Beach Girl says:

    Kara~ Yes, was just reading about BMI just now…. I am in the normal range… I was just curious, I never really take the size of my jeans to be accurate anyways… I ware low wasted all the time! And they are never tight… pftt, if someone thinks i’m fat or average… ah well so be it! I feel great! and gaining weight gave me boobs lol… so that’s a plus, it looks better in a dress hahahhah

  219. Kara says:

    Beach Girl- you can Google “BMI charts” to find out where you stand. But as I said above, BMI doesn’t accurately measure your own personal body composition. It’s generalized. Too generalized to be followed.

  220. Kara says:

    I don’t believe in any of it. Lisa seemed concerned her number (21- healthy) was too high of a number so it seemed to me like SHE wanted to lose weight. She was talking about baby weight and gaining weight over the years and exercising to lose weight. So I was trying to explain that it is not an accurate measure of body fat or health whatsoever and that she should not take it so seriously. Her body could be perfectly healthy. I don’t know her. I was just trying to tell her that there are other, more accurate ways of finding out your body composition and that BMI is not accepted as reliable anymore. If she wanted to find out if she is healthy, overweight, or underweight, she should actually get her body percent fat analyzed. She could be perfectly healthy at her current weight and I would never promote anyone going to great lengths to be unhealthily thin but I wasn’t going to go that deep into it.

    I didn’t mean for this to be taken so seriously. I never said she should try to be overweight or underweight or anything that would be unhealthy. I was just trying to educate about BMI.

  221. Beach Girl says:

    What is the norm for BMI?
    I am at 19, not sure if that is normal now… if Lisa is at 21 …. then my BMI must be wrong, coz Lisa is little!

  222. Dandelion Wine says:

    but if Lisa was going to take BMI seriously than she should be happy she is in the healthy category and she shouldn’t strive to be in the underweight category.
    Why not? Is the overweight category somehow superior to the underweight category?
    Correct me if I’m wrong, but you don’t seem to think that there’s anything wrong with being above the BMI’s “healthy” cut-off, supposedly because BMI is such an imprecise indicator, so WHY would it be bad to strive to be in the underweight category?

  223. Kara says:

    @DW- I started that paragraph out with the words “And not that the number actually means much”…meaning that I don’t believe in it but if Lisa was going to take BMI seriously than she should be happy she is in the healthy category and she shouldn’t strive to be in the underweight category.

  224. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Beautiful story above <3 (even without the test)

  225. Inquisitive says:

    I agree with SGent, Size does matter [ For all of you reading this statement with other thoughts, get your head out of your pants! hehe ]

    The average women in america is usually 12-14
    So like stated before– i would definetly consider a 4 slim. But everyone has different preferences and requirements that others might not agree with,. which is exactly why they are called ‘personal preferences’. Make no apologies.

    And because of the nature of this site, we are allowed to cater to our personal needs, and desires.Admittingly, theres more than just size and looks involved to the sugarworld, and for those who dont agree with it and seek perfection in others- yet lack it yourself, remember “beauty fades but dumb is forever”

    Another thing i always tell my friends is that sex only lasts 10 minutes (If you’re lucky), eventually youre going to have to talk 😉

    There was a great point raised about pictures.
    Pictures are usually a very good indicator, but they do lie- contrary to what some believe.
    For example im a size eleven waist [10 or 12 fit me wrong] but i also have bigger hips and large breasts so it might seem that i am an 8 at the lowest. So nothing is going to actually take your doubt away than a ‘in real life meeting’,. even though we always hope others are just as truthful as we are in their profiles.

    Sorry if i wrote a small novel, I always tend to think my 2cents are way more valuable than they actually are.


  226. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Do you use any euphemisms when discussing sugar arrangements? I tend to use “gents” instead of SDs.

    How do you like approaching the topic of expectations with a sugar daddy or sugar baby? Before, during, or after the first in-real-life meet? Since one of my screening questions before meeting is “Have you had an arrangement in the past? What did/didn’t you like about it?” I guess I tend to distinguish if a gent wants a relationship or an arrangement within the first few communications.

    What type of writing style do you use in messages to potential sugars? Do you follow the rules of Direct Marketing as described here by ‘HenriLouise’, in which every sentence is no longer than 7 words, and every word no longer than 7 letters? I do like to keep e-mails short and give some time in between returning e-mails. I don’t want it to look like IM. Instill a little mystery and “leave him wanting more…” so that he can’t wait to see you in person. :-)

    What kind of unique techniques have you used in your sugar journey to ensure success? Every day I am overwhelmed with my unexpected success here. I had so many insecurities to start…maybe they were my lucky charm. I do believe it’s important to have a little humility and not let the “gotta have it now” mentality take over. Just like men, women need to find the balance between confidence and arrogance. It’s powerful and addictive, but when we let it go to far…

    Success is a recipe of intuition, humility, patience, and appreciating how lucky we are to have become a part of this little fantasy we call sugar.

  227. Dandelion Wine says:

    Texas Sugah, size 8-10 with low body fat is still not slim, it’s athletic. I’m not saying it’s not beautiful or desireable, but it’s just not slim – why call it something it is not?

    Kara, so let me get this straight, when it comes to “overweight” BMI chart is BS and shouldn’t be considered, but when it comes to “underweight”, BMI chart is god and weighing that little is unhealthy? Sounds like a double standard.

  228. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Hmmmm…this turned into an interesting conversation. I do feel that the fashion industry has set some standards that are unrealistic for many women to meet to TexasSugah’s point. Not only that, teenagers and young ladies who lack confidence and life experience take their body image so seriously that they are willing to damage their bodies in order to attain what some consider attractive. It’s great to have preferences, but women have to realize that some are just naturally built a certain way and it’s attractive to certain men. Embrace your body, regardless of your size and the men will as well. I learned a long time ago that when I’m confident about my body, the response from men is so much better. Remember the Super Bowl commercial where the guy’s only thought is “I want to have sex with her”. When you’re alone and naked, typically, he’s just thrilled that you’re there and naked…simply put. (Not trying to make you guys seem shallow…we know you love our minds too.)

    I would like to know how they would standardize slim-average-athletic on a site like this. I can see SG2’s frustration and the point of specifically stating he wants 18-24 year old ladies who are size 0-4 along with confirming pictures would easily screen others. It’s his preference and he should pursue what he finds attractive. It was actually an eye-opener to consider I wasn’t “slim” in the eyes of some, yet slim in the eyes of others. I guess it’s like determine who is pretty and who isn’t. Is a little belly on a man attractive or unattractive? Bald sexy or disgusting? Hairy scary? Ok…I’ll stop.

  229. Kara says:

    kilograms** typo

  230. Kara says:

    @Lisa- As a certified personal trainer with a Bachelor’s degree in exercise science, I would like to tell you not to pay any attention to BMI. It has little to no actual significance. What is a Body Mass Index anyways?? Body mass index is defined by the CDC as “a number calculated from a person’s weight and height. BMI provides a reliable indicator of body fatness for most people and is used to screen for weight categories that may lead to health problems.” So basically, your technical BMI is just your body mass (in kilgrams) divided by your height squared (in meters). So if you would like to know what your body mass divided by your height squared is, then there ya go. But what does that number mean? Nothing. It does not account for your actual body composition (fat vs. fat free mass). Everyone’s bodies are different. This is an extreme example but body builders may have a high weight because of muscles mass, which leads to a high BMI. They are classified are overweight but they really have a very low percentage of body fat. Does that make sense? The best way to figure out if you have a healthy body composition is to get a body fat percentage test done. They are not the most accurate but you could ask a trainer at your gym to do a skin fold caliper test or a bioelectrical impedance test on you. (Most gyms should have one or the other). Those two modalities are not the most accurate but they will give you a good idea of where you are. And then the trainer should be able to tell you where you stand in regard to your health. Otherwise, you can find other, more accurate ways of measuring your body fat, such as the Bod Pod or hydrostatic weighing, at various hospitals or universities. Those can be very expensive though. Your best bet is to try to talk to someone at your gym. I am in no way saying that everyone should lose weight or everyone should be stick thin, but it is a good idea to know your percent body fat (and not your BMI) as high percent body fat can be a precursor to many diseases.

    And not that the number actually means much but you are considered HEALTHY according to the BMI chart. Relax!! The only other option below you is “underweight,” which is not healthy. If you have any questions about that or about anything that is related, I would be glad to answer them. :)

  231. NYC SB says:

    Dw- way to say it like it is!

    Recovering from yoga… Apparently this studio is where all the trim and modelesque women go… I will see that as motivation :) ny gent you should hang out in front of my studio and pick up babes

  232. texasugah says:

    @DW – Oh I completely agree with you on all counts, except the 8-10 thing. I was just in a conversation with a guy friend of mine. He’s African-American and a very slim tall woman walked in front of our car. He thought she was very thin to the point of being unattractive. The conversation continued about a pot, Caucasian, that I met that was concerned about my butt size because Black women generally have larger butts, which is desirable in the Black/Hispanic community. How many times have a read “I want to loose weight but I don’t want to loose my butt” or ” my boyfriend is upset that my butt is smaller.”

    8-10 for a black woman, most black women, is considered slim. When I was training for the Marines and ran 5 miles every other day, and had so little fat on my body I stopped having a period, I was a size 9. If I were to drop to a size 6 on my frame, I would look like a starved refugee. My body would have to eat the muscle on it. My office mate is European and is a weight trainer. She’s a size 8, why? muscle.

    It’s individual.

    I so agree with the generous allowance thing. My goodness. I guess it’s all relative. If I lived in my old home town 1500 would be great, in Houston.. nope.

    And its true about people liking what they like. For me, I like sugars that are over 50 and a little rotund. Truly, I wouldn’t go for a muscular sugar.. at all. I just don’t like it. Call me weird. LOL

  233. Dandelion Wine says:

    Texas Sugah, all women are beautiful, each in her way, but that doesn’t mean that every man has to like every woman. People generally have preferences: some like thin, some like voluptuous, some think anything below a C cup is ittie bittie tittie committee, some think anything above a C is grotesque, some don’t care about the size/appearance, but the level of education is a deal-breaker, etc etc etc.
    Regardless of body image discussions, I don’t think anyone could seriously consider size 8-10 slim – healthy, medium, sexy, etc etc yes, but not slim. As SG2 experienced, obviously there are girls delusional enough to think size 8-10 is slim, just like there are gentlemen delusional enough to think that $1500/mo is a “generous allowance” and dinner dates and mani/pedis are “spoiling”

  234. Dandelion Wine says:

    Texas Sugah, all women are beautiful, each in her way, but that doesn’t mean that every man has to like every woman. People generally have preferences: some like thin, some like voluptuous, some think anything below a C cup is ittie bittie titt, some think anything above a C is grotesque, some don’t care about the size/appearance, but the level of education is a deal-breaker, etc etc etc.

  235. whitelillies says:

    Lily, that is odd. Maybe a man with a gut wants a pretty young thing to prove his vitality, and those who are in shape and take care of themselves feel more secure and have a sb to enjoy rather than to prove something. Completely speculation on my part.

    I have a lunch/shopping date with a pot much, much older than me tomorrow. Normally I try for someone I have more in common with, but we’ve corresponded and hit it off…I’m also looking for a mentor, which he is interested in doing. Any ladies been in this position? I’m afraid he’s going to find me really childish. Any advice would be great. Thanks guys!

  236. Lily says:

    I have lots of comments. email me privately, LondonSB – sugarbabySA at live dot com

  237. LondonSB says:

    Hey Everyone!

    I’m just looking for a little advice, I’ve only been on the site for a few months now but have found a SD that I just love! Everything is going great, and he’s asked me if I would be into having a threesome (with either a guy OR girl) which I would.

    The only problem is I think he’s a little shy and would like me to arrange most of it – which I would be happy to do for him, but I don’t know where to start!!!

    I personally don’t know anyone who I could ask, he’s mentioned an escort if we can’t find anyone, but I don’t know what to think as I have zero experience in that area. I also don’t know if I should expect anything different from our usual arrangement financially?

    I’m based in London, if that helps anyone’s advice. Which I’ve been meaning to ask – do you think there’s a major difference between sugar in the States vs. that in the UK?

    Thanks so much to any insight or experience that anyone might be able to share!


  238. Lily says:

    Oh my gosh, that happens so often. Men showing up sporting a gut when they’ve described themselves as athletic. Funny enough, the most generous men I’ve ever met also had the trimmest waistlines….. I wonder if it’s a correlation!

  239. whitelillies says:

    I think the body type question is not very helpful…I wear an average size for my height, but I’m never sure what to put. My waist is a 2-6, depending on brand, everything else is 8-12. I usually put “average,” and have never had anyone disappointed, on the contrary, if anything, the man I meet is pleasantly surprised. I don’t send out pictures in bikinis, but I usually send one to pots that shows my body type. I supposed that’s what you should do…for men and women. It’s just as off-putting when an “athletic” man surprising unsuspecting young women with a gut.

  240. Lily says:

    If we are going to go on a rampage about bait and switch and pot dates not showing up as attractive as you would have hoped, I have a few funny stories….. Men decades older, many inches shorter, and with far less hair than they (and their ancient photos) advertised….. It’s frustrating on both sides when people hide behind their computer screen in denial or outright deception, and allow others to be misled and disappointed.j

    SouthernGent2 – why not put on your profile that you are looking for a *very* slim woman, who wears a size 0, 2, or 4 -as that is your what you are seeking here, and you don’t want to waste anyone’s time if there’s no potential alignment of interests.

  241. SouthernGent2 says:

    Wow, I see I pushed some buttons with my comments. My first “sb” was 5’8″ and either a size 2 or 4 depending on the brand. Yes, she was tall and thin (a bit too thin just to be matter of fact). Pretty much everyone I have met from the site has been 2 or 4. Further, one girl I was involved with that was 5’3″ described herself as “athletic” in her profile. But she was a size 2 and could rock a sexy dress.

    Fair or unfair, my personal feeling is that a girl that claims to be “slim” on her profile has to be 0-4 (and maybe I can allow a 6 if she is 5’6″ or taller). Average would be sizes 6-8 depending on height.

    I’m not saying I want a small lady necessarily. Just my experience and personal meetings from the site lead me to state this criteria.

  242. Sunday Morning SB says:

    Six minutes to six, said the great round clock over the information booth in Grand Central Station. The tall young Army lieutenant who had just come from the direction of the tracks lifted his sunburned face, and his eyes narrowed to note the exact time. His heart was pounding with a beat that shocked him because he could not control it.

    In six minutes, he would see the woman who had filled such a special place in his life for the past 13 months, the woman he had never seen, yet whose written words had been with him and sustained him unfailingly. John Blanchard stood up from the bench, straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn’t, the girl with the rose.

    His interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, but with the notes penciled in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind. In the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner’s name Miss Hollis Maynell. With time and effort he located her address. She now lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond. The next day he was shipped overseas for service in World War II.

    During the next year and one month the two grew to know each other through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A romance was budding. Blanchard requested a photograph, but she refused. She felt that if he really cared, it wouldn’t matter what she looked like. ‘Suppose I’m beautiful. I’d always be haunted by the feeling that you had been taking a chance on just that, and that kind of love would disgust me. Suppose I’m plain (and you must admit that this is more likely). Then I’d always fear that you were going on writing to me only because you were lonely and had no one else. No, don’t ask for my picture. When you come to New York, you shall see me and then you shall make your decision.’

    When the day finally came for him to return from Europe, they scheduled their first meeting — 7:00 PM at the Grand Central Station in New York City. “You’ll recognize me,” she wrote, “by the red rose I’ll be wearing on my lapel.” So at 7:00 he was in the station looking for a girl whose heart he loved, but whose face he’d never seen.

    I’ll let Mr. Blanchard tell you what happened:

    “A young woman was coming toward me, her figure long and slim. Her blonde hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears; her eyes were blue as flowers. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her pale green suit she was like springtime come alive. I started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not wearing a rose. As I moved, a small, provocative smile curved her lips, ‘Going my way, sailor’ she murmured.

    “Almost uncontrollably I made one step closer to her, and then I saw Hollis Maynell. She was standing almost directly behind the girl. A woman well past 40, she had graying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than plump, her thick-ankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes.

    “The girl in the green suit was walking quickly away. I felt as though I was split in two, so keen was my desire to follow her, and yet so deep was my longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned me and upheld my own.

    “And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible, her gray eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. I did not hesitate. My fingers gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that was to identify me to her. This would not be love, but it would be something precious, something perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which I had been and must ever be grateful.

    “I squared my shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the woman, even though while I spoke I felt choked by the bitterness of my disappointment. ‘I’m Lieutenant John Blanchard, and you must be Miss Maynell. I am so glad you could meet me; may I take you to dinner?’

    “The woman’s face broadened into a tolerant smile. ‘I don’t know what this is about, son,’ she answered, ‘but the young lady in the green suit who just went by, she begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should go and tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!'”

    It’s not difficult to understand and admire Miss Maynell’s wisdom. The true nature of a heart is seen in its response to the unexpected. “Tell me whom you love,” Houssaye wrote, “And I will tell you who you are.”

    ~By Sulamith Ish-Kishor (1896-1977)
    First Printed in Collier’s Magazine, 1943

  243. texasugah says:

    Lisa – calm down. I spoke with my doctor about that BMI deal. They are going to revamp it. It leaves out the vast majority of the population. I’ve seen your pictures. You look great. TRUST!

    And your daughter.. honey, that’s your child. Every stretchmark I have, I’m cool with because I’m a mom. If someone else doesn’t like looking at them.. oh well.

  244. texasugah says:

    DW – It’s not his comment. Really, it’s the response to it. In jest or otherwise.

    Here’s the deal-io. I have been contacted by sugars, off blog, through twitter and also here asking for help. For whatever reason, they feel that they can’t get in the bowl or that asking others for assistance is not an option because they are treated with disdain or snobbed. One of the main deals is size. And I completely understand it. There’s an idea that you have to be rail thin to be a sugar. I bought into it as well. That’s not the case. When a woman considers herself to be one dimensional, meaning sex appeal only, she’s missed the sugar boat. The ladies on this blog have so much more to offer than just being eye candy or sex appeal. We have fun loving, sweet, intelligent, insightful women here that are more than a number or size.

    Like I said, it’s not his account of his story, it’s the reaction of others. He can say whatever he wants as with any of us. I know what I have to offer and am fine with it, as is my sugar. There are others (TONS) that read this blog and from what I have gotten off site.. wow. I made a point of saying something because truly, lurkers have taken what we say here as gospel. We are read and held in esteem by some. Not to censure our comments but there is a bit of responsibility. Trust me I didn’t think anything of it until I received emails.

  245. Dandelion Wine says:

    Sheesh, why is everyone taking SG2’s story so personally?
    He is upset to have been what he perceives to be misled (although to me it seems as failure to communicate), it’s not like he said everyone needs to be either under size 4 or out of the bowl.

  246. Lisa says:

    OMG my BMI is 21 :( I wish I could afford to eat healthy. I need to exercise more but i’m exhausted after work. been walking regularly since Oct 1st but I only do it a few times a week now. I never dreamed I’d get like this after spending most of my life weighing 87 lbs pre-baby.
    Word of advice: don’t have children, I was stuck at 98 lbs afterwards and could never get below that. I have gained 12 lbs in 20 years :(

    ok time for some coffee

  247. Dandelion Wine says:

    SG2, considering that the “average” size in America is 14, she was probably convinced she was “slim”.
    I get what you are saying though, for “slim” I expect lower end of healthy BMI range, with “average” and “a little extra” being mid-range and upper end, depending on constitution, and everything else “overweight”, as per BMI standards.
    You don’t need to be a creeper and ask for bikini pics, usually the girth of the upper arm is a pretty good benchmark.

  248. texasugah says:

    oops..iphone typo above.

  249. texasugah says:

    Oh please everyone.. this weight issue is a mess. I mean really, one man says he wants a small lady. Ok and… that’s not everyone. I sure as hell wouldn’t throw up a damn thing because of a post on a blog.

    Nothing against the poster but he mentioned one experience that wasn’t what he wanted. I let conversations like this bother me before. I have a sugar and a couple of pots and I’d be obese compared to what one person wants. Like Gail told me, there’s someone for everyone. Be who you are, love yourself, and stay positive.

    Do your own thing like RTB.. the main thing I’ve heard is that the lady that shows up your can’t take anywhere because she’s uncouth and uneducated. Invest in you.

    Ok I’m off the soap box. I just hate to hear about women hurting themselves on a whim.

  250. Lisa says:

    There are alot of people here that are from Central America and one of the characteristics of some of them is very small feet and hands. There are several men on the bus in the morning that have tiny feet and hands and must be 5′ tall, They just don’t look right. A man with small hands and feets looks like a child to me.

  251. Lily says:

    I’m a major height snob, as well. I can’t find men under 6′ attractive IRL but I’m more flexible in the sugarbowl since mixing genes isn’t an issue. :)

  252. Carebear says:

    Sg2 this is why you ask for oher pictures and if there’s still doubt, don’t bother.

    One profile on Sa says “I’m looking for a slim girl, more like a size 2 than a 4”.

    I didn’t know an inch and a half in the waist meant that much to people.

    Then again, I don’t bother with men under 5″11, but they don’t make spanx that make ya taller!

  253. kindheartedsoul says:

    How do you like approaching the topic of expectations with a sugar daddy or sugar baby? Before, during, or after the first in-real-life meet?
    It depends on the sd. I prefer to talk a little before the meet to see if we are on the same page. I don’t link you can actually discuss an arrangement until after meeting because who knows if you will even like each other once you do meet.

    What kind of unique techniques have you used in your sugar journey to ensure success?
    I am always myself, be it through email or in person. I never try to pretend to be something I am not. I think being up front nd honest right from the beginning bring you the most success be it on this site or in life.

    How’s your sugarlife been going lately?
    Slow and steady. I am not in a rush and believe in quality rather than quantity.

  254. Beach Girl says:

    Lisa~ hahah to each his own, yes, it’s annoying when some think that size is all that matters, but to each his own!
    I am tall so… but I am a size 7-9… lol i’m so huge then!

  255. Lisa says:

    But then again living in Texas where “average” seems to mean having a 3 foot wide behind, I would be pencil thin. There was a woman at the bus stop the other day sitting in one of those mobile chairs and her thight were as wide as my torso and she was getting busy with a bag of chicken nuggets from mcdonalds.

    ok off to bed for me.

  256. Lisa says:

    Hi Beach Girl. well i’m 5’1″ and weigh about 110 so I guess i’m obese because I used weigh about 100 all my life. went from a size 4 to a size 6 in juniors, no idea what I wear in misses or women’s or whatever as I never buy from that.

    Going to bed soon, tiring day at work, so glad i’m off these next two days.

    Good night

  257. Beach Girl says:

    OMG SG2 … you are ….. You should request that in your profile!

    I so don’t agree that being over a size 4 is over weight or fat or what ever you may think… But really you are only here for Candy… So I guess you are allowed to demand a certain type!
    I am sure If I could pay 3-5K allowance for a 6’4′ Tall Dark and Handsome with a 6 pack Hell yes I would demand that!!! So I get it… but does it really have substance? Maybe, maybe not!!!!
    To each his own!

    Lisa~ Hey
    RTB~ Hey, You met me, would I be average or big? lol.
    Shallowness…. how I hate it… but it’s life right ladies?

  258. Lisa says:

    OMG i’m a size medium in juniors 6-8. Where’s my toothbrush I need to throw up.

  259. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Ouch SG2! I always thought single digits counted as slim…guess I need to look at the fashion magazines and purge.

  260. NYGent says:

    Genuine: I used to spend a lot of time emailing back and forth, inquiring about expectations, etc. Not really any more. My profile is very direct, fulsome and detailed. Says exactly what i’m looking for and exactly what I’m willing to provide, financially and otherwise. I tell them my generosity only increases with time. I also have several recent clear pics posted. So I just tell pots read my profile, it’s self-explanatory, if you like what you read let’s meet, if not i’m not spending a lot of time and energy with further exposition about me or what I want, expect, etc. (can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten, “so tell me a little about yourself” from people who didn’t even read the email or view my profile) . Since I have posted clear recent pics, I say please reciprocate, fair is fair, and if you don’t/can’t for whatever reason, that’s cool too, your choice, but also please recognize that means our dialogue is at an end.

    This approach does lead to fewer meets than I used to have (when I was a little less discriminating), but also a lot less time and energy wasted. At least that’s the current stragtegy, who kows maybe it will change again at some point, it’s an art not a science!

  261. SouthernGent2 says:

    I have to vent about profile terminology. I wish the girls had to put their dress size on their profiles rather than slim, average, etc. When a girl says she is slim, I am expecting a size 0, 2, or 4. Imagine my frustration at dinner the other night when a potential shows up that claimed to be slim, but clearly had to be a size 8-10 from the waist up. And worse yet, she just picks at her meal, hardly eating a thing.

  262. Arcadia SB says:

    Do you use any euphemisms when discussing sugar arrangements?
    Not generally. Either I refer to the situation indirectly or “call a spade a spade” and use sugar and sugar baby etc.

    How do you like approaching the topic of expectations with a sugar daddy or sugar baby? Before, during, or after the first in-real-life meet?
    I try to approach it a little bit prior to the first meet and then hash everything out face to face. I feel there’s a little bit more “honesty” face to face. Admittedly, I’ve only been in one sugar relationship…but that’s my theory at least :)

    What type of writing style do you use in messages to potential sugars? Do you follow the rules of Direct Marketing as described here by ‘HenriLouise’, in which every sentence is no longer than 7 words, and every word no longer than 7 letters? No, I definitely like to use a variety of words and mix up sentence structure in my communications. I try to avoid typos and write well. Weird abbreviations and the computer shorthands really just drive me crazy. A typo or two I’ll forgive (because I make so many), but “u r hawt” is like nails on a chalk board to me.

    What kind of unique techniques have you used in your sugar journey to ensure success?
    just being up front and honest seems to be unique. The blog ladies all seem honest, up front, and intelligent…but the pot SDs I’ve talked to seem to have trouble with women who are lying and deceitful.

    How’s your sugarlife been going lately?
    Dead in the water. I haven’t had any sugar, other than a get to know you meeting around new years, but I haven’t been looking super hard. I’ve been focused on my work…so maybe things will work themselves out soon.

  263. TexaSugah says:

    Happy Weekend all.. Beach Girl congrats on doing YOU and making life better in the long run.

    I had hidden my profile on SA. Was tired of the rejection. I unhid it for kicks and winked a little. Viola! a couple of emails. I was shocked. Anyway.. to the questions..

    Do you use any euphemisms when discussing sugar arrangements?

    I like the term mistress rather than sugarbaby. You can’t find cute things with mistress on it plus, there’s the whole S&M side of mistress that so isn’t the case with me.

    How do you like approaching the topic of expectations with a sugar daddy or sugar baby? Before, during, or after the first in-real-life meet? I want to discuss expectations somewhat from the beginning. I’m tired of trying to fit what I want to what they are offering.

    What kind of unique techniques have you used in your sugar journey to ensure success? Well, I haven’t been to Europe with a sugar so I’m not successful yet. LOL

    How’s your sugarlife been going lately? Fairly decent. Things are ticking along with my Part time. Anything is to the good so can’t complain. I would love something more exciting and steady. It’ll happen.. soon.

    Off to a regular joe date… he’s so sugar material but doesn’t know it. LOL

  264. Arcadia SB says:

    fifth! yes now i can get caught up in a a new blog post :)

  265. Beach Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!
    A “mentor daddy, benefactor” That is what I would like,,, but since I work 2 jobs, go to school and have started my own business… there isn’t much time left in a day to even try and send out mails to Pot SDs… Working so much, at the end of the day, I am exhausted. A day off??? humm…. had a week because of unfortunate events, but that just made this week a hell of a lot more busy!!!
    Love what I do, ok maybe not the second job, but first job, my business and school are awesome!
    I do think arrangements are tailored to your needs and your partners… Communication is key
    I am very straight forward when I sent out mails, I hate the lies, games and bullshit of it all…That is what makes me quit at times. Both needs, need to be met in order to make it work.. well for me anyways. It’s also sometimes being able to compromise, adjust , be flexible and open. To each his or her own. Respect is a huge part and that , respect is earned not given.
    Trusting ones instincts , being careful and smart about your safety and choices…
    I have met some amazing SDs and SBs throughout this process though, That I am grateful for…
    Ok rambling on here, so tired and the day is not even half over…
    Have a great day sugars, off to work for me 😀

  266. carebear says:

    Michael must be on a mtn top with no service to miss being first.

  267. GenuineSD says:

    When approaching a potential sb via email, I try to be direct, respectful, and explain the basis of my interest. If the interest continues to develop and is mutual, I try to get a general idea of expectations before the first meeting. It’s important to understand if there’s at least a general alignment of goals early on.

    In terms of techniques for success? I think trying to keep it fun, being attentive to what’s going on in the arrangement and the SBs life help a lot…. I’m big on communication(especially listening), I think continuing to talk and gain a better understanding of the SBs goals and interests helps keep it fresh and helps me fine tune the sorts of assistance I can offer.

    I think sugar success is tied to careful screening up front. No two arrangements are alike and no two sets of goals are the same. Arrangements have varied widely but the central theme for me has been honest, mutual respect for the other halfs perspective on things. We may not agree, but we can respect each others position.

    I think that’s true on the blog here, too. We all discuss what we seek in an arrangement or what characteristics we seek in our partner… there’s large differences in specifics of each persons ideal scenario… but I see a common thread in a desire to be respected and acknowledged as an equal and a valued partner… regardless of the specific terms of the arrangement we all want those things. We want to matter to our partner.

  268. GenuineSD says:

    First ? Wow….