8 years ago
Sugar Dating: Choices


Many Sugar Daddies, Sugar Baby females, Sugar Baby males, and Sugar Mama’s come to decision points in their sugarlives, when they must choose a direction for their arrangement(s). The choice may be to cancel a trip,  negotiate their benefits, remind a sugar about a promise, telling others about their sugar, choosing a setting for a 1st date, etc. Following the Heart? Making choices such as when and where to meet, what to do, and whether you’re happy, are just as important for people in non-sugar relationships as they are to sugars. Yet for those taking part in the sugar movement, how decisions are made in a relationship/arrangement is understood as directly connected to the value of the overall relationship. In other words, while a non-sugar couple may seem like they seldom struggle with such ‘sugar-conundrums’ like where to meet, what to do, what to expect and when, it’s certainly possible that they really do. A Sugar’s Next Move If you’re in a seeking phase, then your next move is to find a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby to be in an arrangement with. Options include finding  sugar locally, long distance, or perhaps even both.

Midwest SB: My last two SDs were long distance. They came to see me on the first visit, then I would travel for long weekends to see them. Often, I would get to visit Vegas or FL as they would combine business and pleasure. Make sure you mention in the profile that you’re open to traveling and long-distance arrangements. There seem to be quite a few SDs who prefer long-distance arrangements. Know what you’re getting into with travel. It typically takes a half to full day to actually get to your destination and another to return. Give him fireworks during the times in between because you probably won’t see him as often. Keep it alive in-between with flirting, online games, chats over coffee, etc. Lastly, some men factor the cost of travel into the allowance and others don’t, so make sure you have a clear understanding of what is/ isn’t included in the allowance. Don’t feel bad because he’s spending money to bring you to him, but definitely be appreciative. You’re worth it and he knows this already.

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Point of Contact There are many ways of deciding when and how to start communicating with a potential sugar. Every sugar has their own approach to sending and responding to messages from pots.

SomeRandonSD: If I see someone interesting, I’ll contact them. On the flip side, I appreciate a message from someone who has actually read my profile, and responds to something specific in it — that’s genuine interest. From this side, sometimes I am too busy to look. I find being contacted, flattering. As long as it’s not overly aggressive — like, 10 emails to my 1 response, where are you, fatal attraction’ish..

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Multiple Sugars at Once It’s common for modern daters to see more than one person at a time. Some SD’s and SB’s currently have more than one arrangement, and others are in exclusive relationships with their sugar. Knowing whether to have more than one sugar at once isn’t always easy, since even if you’re okay with the idea, your current or potential sugar(s) may not be.

Sugar Boy: “Although I have a new SD, I had talked to 2 others around the same time period. I had scheduled a meeting earlier this month with another potential, and I meet him this week. Another wants to meet in June.. Ultimately I’m trying to find the right fit. Is it wrong to have all 3? If everyone is happy/satisfied why not? Lol

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What phase of the sugar are you in at the moment? Searching for your ideal arrangement? Currently in a sugar relationship? What kind of sugar choices (if any) are you in the midst of making? Have you had any sweeeet surprises with a SD or SB? Have you found any benefits you didn’t originally expect from sugar?

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661 Responses to “Sugar Dating: Choices”

  1. anthony gundlach says:

    i’m new tothis

  2. Honey says:

    Soooo…in conclusion, thanks for sticking around this long and I apologize if it hasn’t been a bag of giggles to read.. and I see it like throwing away good food just because you don’t like it. My current sd my not be my favorite flavor but must I dump him or throw him to the wolves just because? He is a great guy with a kind and giving heart. I’m signing him up for big brothers and sisters type thins because he does have a big heart and a little extra pocket change. Why waste that on a money grubber? He deserves better. I’ve been a matchmaker also,so maybe it has rubbed off. I am also brilliant, every guy I’ve ever met has always called me the smartest woman they have ever met. Since I am an ass also, I retort, “How come I’m not the smartest PERSON you’ve ever met?” Never said I wasn’t a ass….
    I’m challenging to guys and most people,actually but somehow it works. Liily, quirky, overweight get me…guys have no idea what I’m about but I’m sexy and a good friend of mine said “guys like whatever gets their dick hard” look up that study about guys liking girls better after they had to do something scary before or during the date. I like to bring that level of uncertainty into most of my dates!!!I’m never flighty but I’m not a sure thing. I let guys know exactly where I stand and tell them when they haven’t fulfilled their part of the bargain, any bargain, I cuts no slack, that’s for others to do for them. Don’t care how rich, how cute how whatever you are. I treat EVERYONE the same, am probably nicer to service people, waiters and such. I put on no airs. I have standards, yes,but I don’t force my company on anyone.Not judgmental, not mean.You like it, I love it.
    Getting ready to go to the casino,what is there NOT to like?
    Honey from Not so sunny Rohrmoser, Costa Rica-where we CAN
    flush our TP down the toilet!

  3. Honey says:

    Ok, secret is out, Honey considers men just dessert. hey are what you do while you are living your life. Low hanging fruit. It is up to men to get in where they fir it, not the otherway around. I’m doing my own thing and they can come along,maybe…I was name for a hurricane, I am a force of nature,but guys like being scared!!
    To the other cocoa babes Danes and nordic types along with Italians and germans and the french LOVE the darker hues. If you travel and go to spain…not too much love for the cocoa babes and that’s alright. I date whomever finds me attractive and whomever approaches me the right way. I like foreign guys because a black chick from Detroit IS an exotic beauty to them.It does help with my ego. Stick me in Spain and watch me suffer…. But a true marketer knows her true market and aims at that. I’m insufferable I know, but I came by it honest.. and again it has NOt all been rainbows and unicorns, I had to take SOME lumps just like everyone else, but I choose to think about the positives, and I think it spreads to the guys I date. You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar…Hence my name, I tire of guys always calling me Angel….”oh Honey, you are my angel…”

  4. Honey says:

    Midwest- first just because I sincerely believe that I am a somebody does not make you or anyone not me a nobody. right?I am sure there are tons of guys, gals peoples who can’t stand me and what they feel I may stand for. I’m ok with that. and I am not putting you into that category with them.
    I’m a man eater, but a nice one. Never had so called man problems, been proposed to more times than the average bear,so I must be doing something right. It would appear that I am a keeper. that said guys always fall for me and want to marry me or at least ALWAYS date exclusively. I would lie and they would still do the same thing, I would tell the truth and they STILL would do the same, fall in love with me and go on from their.
    I am lucky, I can count on ONE hands the bad dates I have had. Lucky to have never had a man’s hand raised at me in anger or anything like that. Not bragging, not exaggerating, been invited to Paris by the really cute capitain in the french foreign legion, invited to Dubai,northern italy by various guys who had no problem with my dusky hue and nappy hair, I only mention race because some people seem to think it’s ayoung,blondes game, even some of the sugardaddies! I am ok with that but it hurts others feelings and I hate people not feeling wanted or loved anywhere. Now as regards to MY SD. He is a great guy he head over heels for me, he IS old fashioned. He did get caught up in the game. He did not mean to but he can be stubborn and headstrong like the dynamic men I like to date. He sees what he wants and goes after it. He wants me.So he is pulling out all the stops, per my personal ad on another site, one for married people dating married people. Did I mention I was married? 15 years, still trying to get rid of husband number one. They won’t go away! And it has only been in the last 10 years that I have started to plan my personal life. I never planned on getting married,never was my plan and I would like to get ALL my shit together before the next guy comes and tries to whisk me away!
    My daddy is in love with me, I told him I will stay with him until and after his divorce. Divorce can be scary and I do care for him, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with him.He has said he will be in my life in any way he can be. I think he is a great catch and maybe in a few months my newness will wear off, remember his wife cut him off for 15 years and he didn’t cheat! So he is trying to catch up on sex for all the years he has missed. And he needs to get out more, so hopefully when he starts to get out more he will be more open to meeting new people. I consider myself showing him how a REAL relationship should/could be, setting him straight before setting him free. and yes, I most likely can get another one, sorry…but someone it works for me…..and my thinking is if I can do it,surely others can too….

  5. Lily says:

    Guru – please email me at sugarbabySA at live dot com

  6. QuirkyCocoaBabe says:

    “He just told you that he is rude and I’m sure some white chicks who have black friends may skip him over since he looks as if he may not play well with others.” —-That is so true. I’m not going to let it get to me…not worth my time!

    Looking forward to all of us getting together. I plan on being in school this summer too, (I’m majoring in French and Art. What’s your major Honey? What kinds of classes are you taking?) I’m going to have to pay out of pocket since the financial aid thing is all fucked up, but it’s all good. I’ll be my refund soon enough and thankfully I’ve been scheduled a butt-load of hours at work next month so my purse won’t be hurting for too much longer. :) School will be from June until Aug. four days a week so I’ll have some time go hang out and party! So yeah, we should definitely starting planning on what things we want to see and do.

    “Summer, summer, summer time, to just sit back and unwind..” That song was the jam!

    Looking forward to hanging with ya! Sistahs got to stick together! Lol.

    Thanks for the tip! I will be keeping my eyes peeled for the shiftiness! Have you ever played Dom before? And if so, do you have any other insights?

    To all the Sweeties,
    I’m off to work.. hope you all have an awesome day!

  7. Mr Realist says:

    It’s important to consider the vast differences in situation between attached and un-attached men. If you’re female and looking for an “NSA” relationship where your goal is maximum financial gain you are far better off pursuing marrried men. Their options for extra ciricular “recreational” opportunities are limited by the inability to travel Internationally. Most younger women haven’t had the opportunity to travel abroad much to non-western countries so they’re unaware that the dating situation outside the US, (and US “lite”: Canda, Australia, UK, Western Europe) is exactly the opposite. If you’re female, the grass doesn’t get any greener than the US side of the fence. Here you have an over-abundance of financially secure, reasonably, health-conscious, usually decent men combined with an absolute dearth of attractive women. A girl in America with even a hint of sexual desirablity has a line ten deep and five blocks long of relatively good quality men waiting to date. Unattached financially-secure men with good health-habits are hard to come-by and highly sought-after in the rest of the world. Therefore, single financially secure men are not the best candidates for large allowances. Do you know what kind of mischief a guy can get into for 3K a month in Bangkok or numerous other destionations around the globe? There are quite a few girls who aren’t willing to get involved with a married man so their best bet would be to find a guy with kids or business commitments which prevent him from escaping the US or simply find a naive one who’s never traveled outside the western world.

  8. Lola says:

    Thanks for the great advice Midwest and Honey (and anyone else I may have missed). I am really surprised and impressed with the sisterhood here. I guess I will try being patient and see what develops.

  9. Midwest SB says:

    BTW – I am in no way endorsing early intimacy in an arrangement. I’ve always said have sex with someone because you want to, NOT because you think it will land you an arrangement.

    Lily – What did you decide to do and how?

    LASB – Good advice about the subs. I get approached sometimes, but I’m unfamiliar with the lifestyle. It figures there are posers in the femdom world as well.

    Honey – Perhaps it’s me as nobody else has said anything, but I’m quite put off by the “steal my SD away” scenario. Either I’m too old-fashioned, have a lack of understanding, or my intuitive red flags are going off left and right. As I understand it,you are getting out of the sugar scene in spite of all your success.. you want to help your SD find someone to replace you…so you put an ad on a sugar blog and find him a new SB, but not to introduce them outright. Instead, you’re going to see if someone else can lure him away. Perhaps it’s an effort to allow him to be genuinely interested in someone else seemingly on his own. Perhaps it will confirm his love for you. Perhaps it’s a way to play some unsuspecting SB into some mind game. Whatever it is, it’s a game involving personalities and human emotions and seems likely to have some unforeseen consequences. Have you and your SD talked about this process at all? Don’t you think he can find another SB on his own? It just sounds so strange to me. Had you not said anything publicly, I would say to each her own. Please help me to understand.

  10. Honey says:

    Good Morn!! Bout to get ready for big daddy!!! talk to you all later, hopefully….love you al!!!!! Be strong and don’t take no sh*t!

    Honey Brown

  11. Midwest SB says:

    Meg – Stop stalking his profile dear. You’ve been given some great advice, but this is a bad habit to engage in. The main reason is that you have nothing to base your conclusions on, so they become assumptions about his actions and that is very dangerous and toxic territory. Be confident and as some have put it “be detached from the outcome”. If you’re confident that you have a lot to offer and if he makes you feel like he’s interested, give it some time. This is NSA. It’s not a regular dating site. That said, most SDs I’ve met would prefer exclusivity, but certainly not all. Even in regular dating, you see someone several times and some are even intimate before they have “the talk”. Relax…enjoy his company…don’t get too caught up in “will I finally have an SD”. All these things will free your mind to focus on other things. If it’s not going to happen the way you want, decide to accept it or move on. It’s so easy…no need to complicate things :-)

    Lola – There’s at least one sugar sister in your area from the blog. Hopefully, she will chime in! I love your pictures…they are so full of personality and your dresses rock! My only two suggestions would be to remove “You really cant get to know someone in one of these blurbs” and to perhaps break up your intro into two paragraphs for easier skimming. You will do fine here and don’t let people’s preferences bother you. Just think…you might not like a man with a hairy back or someone who prefers to stay in over going out. We all want something different.

    Heyyyyy sugars!

  12. whitelillies says:

    Good morning sugars!

  13. CardsFan SD says:

    @Meg – A second date is too soon to go there for many reasons.

    He may be mid-communication with several. You may or may not be at the top of that list, to be blunt. He may need to tie up those lose ends. At most, he may hide his profile, not delete.

    But more importantly in my mind, than any of that, is that while *one date* may have been great, it really does take a bit more time — a larger body of work/time together — to confirm that your initial impressions were accurate. In my experience, that can take 1-3 months, depending on how often you meet.

  14. Enigma SD says:

    Meg – you might consider saying you are going to hide your profile once you find the right SD. You can judge how he reacts to that. If he is still logging on and looking, and you are not comfortable with that, he might not be the right SD for you. In the past, I have deleted my profile when I found someone. I am a one-SB SD though, and not all are like that. Unless you have talked about exclusivity, I wouldn’t ask him about taking down his profile. Also, I wouldn’t bring up exclusivity too early — that can be a big step for some sugar-daters :) I hope your second date goes well!

  15. Honey says:

    Never did seem to fit in…so why try… and I’m okay with someone else liking a horse of a different color Hey toronto baby,come take this guy off our minds, evr dated a guy who only wanted to date blondes? Was he extra fun,so fun that he makes us all wish we fit into his narrow view? Tell everyone how he is just narrowing down his options….or not, but seriously Quirky Cocoa, what he says has nothing to do with you. Let him date whomever he chooses, his lost, Really. Don’t let him get to you. You are not to feel rejected by him or anyone. He just told you that he is rude and I’m sure some white chicks who have black friends may skip him over since he looks as if he may not play well with others.Only you can LET somebody make you feel inferior…are you> deep down inside? I remember feeling that way about the same things… If he is not talking to you, don’t listen. Listen to me I like black women!! and I love them and respect them too. He may not ans so we don’t want him dirtying up our space.
    Melange,one smart sugarbabe on facebook, sometimes you can get pieces of me there
    So I’m counting at least four or five of us that are planning on getting together in june or july(school) or something try melange, good night, for real got my pookie, who is white, or at least he seems not to mind my smooth, sexy brown skin, I’ll ask him to make sure, maybe I could have stayed here a month longer if I had fairer attributes, but tthis point I can’t tell the difference it would have made ,but if you want another white guy to validate what I said or to un validate what that Other guy said, I can have a few of my cool white guy friends speak to you…lol! Picking up my sweetie at the airport soon, but I must go to sleep first and wake up…
    “To sleep, perchance to dream-ay, there’s the rub.” Hamlet (III, i, 65-68)

  16. LASB says:

    Oh, I forgot to specify. I was only talking about the LA rental market. I can’t speak for anywhere else.

  17. LASB says:

    Guru – In regards to asking for lower rent, it depends on the market. Although renters have all the rights here, moving is typically waaaaay tougher on the tenant than on a landlord. In ’09 at the bottom of the bottom, renters may have been able to negotiate their rent. There was probably an 8 month window. From what I understand, that’s no longer the case. As the overall economy improves, I wonder what that will mean for SB/SD negotiations. Do you think more SDs will flood the market? Do you think more SBs will leave the sugar bowl as their employment situation gets better? Or perhaps will there always be an endless supply of SBs, keeping the ratio of SBs to SDs greatly skewed to favor the SDs. As for myself, I often toy with the idea of becoming a SM, once my business is totally self-sufficient.

  18. LASB says:

    QuirkyCocoaBabe – Be careful with these so-called submissive guys on SA. Stay away from the pervs looking to use you as masturbation material. How can you tell? A real submissive will see you as a real person and respect you as a HUMAN BEING first. They will ask questions about who you are, not what you can do to them. If they are throwing out the fantasy talk from the get go, RUN!

  19. Honey says:

    Night y’all
    ,just finished getting my butt kicked in this new card game I learned called murder…thanks chrissy and derek…

  20. Jessie says:

    @margarita – Problem is, he’s NOT your SO. Neither is he YOURS. What you have to remember is that this is a NSA relationship…so whatever he told you take it with a spoon of salt…I’d normally say a grain, however last week you had a horrible experience with a SD who you thought you could trust. In fact you said you’d have dated him IRL. Therefore, I think you should be especially careful. Forgive the lecture, but it sounds like you’re on your way to making another mistake. I don’t understand why you’re even thinking of turning off your profile. You’ve only met him once and have no idea how things will actually play out. Unless you’ve already received an allowance, you can’t even say that he’s your SD. Talk is cheap…what is important are the actions that follow.

    I’m sure I don’t need to remind you of this, but I’m feeling talkative tonight so here goes…your date tomorrow should be another “getting to know you” session. Make sure this is someone you really want to be with (chemistry on both sides should be a necessity). Talk about the arrangement (times per month, etc). Allowance and how it will be exchanged. If everything is to your satisfaction, plan another date, make sure you have your allowance in hand and then and ONLY THEN do you get physical.

  21. QuirkyCocoaBabe says:

    Yay! I’m excited about this. And now that the storm has passed and I have power and phone service again, I’m heading for bed.

    Goodnight Sweeties!

  22. Honey says:

    Meg O my heart,wait on cancelling your profile. You can commit but still confirm.. and
    hell yeah, a sugarbaby club!! details to follow!!!

  23. margarita Meg says:

    Query for the SB/SD experts:

    I am trying to learn from my mistkakes. Met a very promising pot SD yesterday, and we’re getting together again tomorrow. Assuming all goes well, When do you ask your Sugar Other to shut down his/her profile? I know he has been online since we first met. I have, too — no prob. But is there a point at which you can quit checking up on the other and relax a little, knowing your SO is “yours”?

    Maybe I’m still being naive. But he has expressed his very firm desire to have an exclusive arrangement. If I’m going to do it, I’ll do it all the way and delete my gorgeous profile. But he needs to do the same.

    Thanks in advance for your advice.

    xo and sugar,


  24. Lola says:

    I would love to connect with you Honey and also Quirky to have some chocolate SB mentors in the game. BLOG GODS PLEASE GIVE MY EMAIL TO Quirky and Honey! I hope you guys have time and desire in your busy schedules to chit chat
    About the game. Also my ex mas a home in Houston that is available to me while he is pit of the country so I am there from time to time if you are having SB night on the town

  25. QuirkyCocoaBabe says:

    This sounds like the makings of “The Sugar Babies Club” lol!

  26. QuirkyCocoaBabe says:

    Thanks for the encouragement and yeah, I get people do have their preferences, but it just urked me because it seemed like a total dis—-not only was I reading it, but I’m certain others who saw his profile too noticed, an avenue for hate to spread if he had said something extra hateful to add to his rejecting brown sugar. It almost made me want to go into activist mode, but I decided that it truly is his loss. Those who live with their eyes closed miss the most beautiful things.

    And with the BDSM, never had a partner willing to try it with, so I’m hoping that SD responds and we could have some fun with it.

    Girl, it is hailing out here! Tornadoes, the power in my complex has shut off.. and it’s humid, so you know a sistah is hot!!!!! So lucky to have a laptop! I just hope the power cuts back on soon!

  27. Honey says:

    Lisa- if you still have my email, could you give it to quirky and overweight and anyone else who is in the Houston-Dallas area, if you please…..and please consider yourself invited to any and all future shindigs!!

  28. Honey says:

    Cocoa-let the guys who don’t want brown sugar walk away. Some like blondes some prefer redheads, whatever, don’t even lose sleep over it. You are looking for the guy who thinks YOU are the shit. I make the average guy go against type. You’ve seen those posters with the zebras all lined up and then there goes the rainbow colored zebra? I’m that rainbow colored zebra, even if I am being”good” I’ll never fit in, so why even bother? I’m rare and I make no qualms about it. Truffle oil is not to everyone’s taste, but I love it, most of my friends can’t stand the smell, but there is just more for me.
    I’m like truffle oil,not to everyone’s taste, but the ones who love it, love it!
    Play up your Dom side, it can be good practice!!

  29. QuirkyCocoaBabe says:

    To answer your question, though I’m totally new and still looking for my first SD, there are a few things to consider:
    1)the relationship could grow stronger and turn into something longer lasting
    2)It’s still more than what was originally being given
    3)The funds would last long enough for a budget to be figured out so that more can be given without feeling overwhelmed.

    On the flip side, a few questions might also come to mind:
    1)Why offer something that you weren’t totally certain that you could handle?
    2)Why didn’t you plan ahead?
    3)Why is it so suddenly that the budgetting skills have slipped?

    In all situations its best to look at all the faces of the die and trust in your intuition. I’m a bit of a skeptic and have tendencies to look for something fishy before making any decisions.

    Don’t get discouraged. You remind me of myself during my first week after signing up with SA. I kept thinking I was doing something wrong because no one was viewing my profile. I added and changed photos, changed up my profile a few times never satisfied. I sent out lots of messages always thinking that I was doing something wrong because, even now, no one has responded. But now, I stay patient and I don’t let my determination and self-confidence slip, I go to work, I live my life, I send some messages, read the blogs but I don’t worry about finding one right away (as much as I’d love to). Life is too short.

    There have been some discouranging moments, one SD’s profile had read “absolutely no black women” and I was like, “God damned! Why does the sugar world have to be like that too?” But now, when I see stuff like that I say, “Fuck you! Your damned loss for being a closed-minded skeezer, keep fucking your money!” And sing to myself “..brown skin, oh how I love my brown skin..” Never think that you’re not attractive enough, beauty is in the eye of the beholder yes, but always behold yourself as beautiful no matter who’s eyes are on you.

    Have patience. The other key is to keep an open and positive mindset and to never beat yourself up.

    Dallas is getting it’s share of rain and wind, but considering this is Texas after all, I’m not expecting it to last forever and to change up real soon. And please do come to visit Dallas! And feel free to play match-maker for me! Lol. Or what’s your plan for the me to steal your SD away?

    Pussy whipped! Hahahahahaha. I contacted this one SD who apparently likes to play sub to a femdom. As I messaged him, I was having hilarious fantasies of having a sub SD pussywhipped without having to give up the pussy (Although, I gives the good lovin’ too..)! Letting me set free my inner dominatrix….How awesome would that be?

  30. Honey says:

    That’s the best way to approach the game, Lola.

  31. Lola says:

    You ladies are great for the old self esteem. Thanks tons. I’ve been contacting guys but being rather conservative. I don’t want to seem over eager or like a crazy stalker lady. It’s not that I need someone to swoop in and save me, I have a good job and can meet my own needs. But I’d like to go back to school and cut back on work to do it. Plus Im just getting over my last relationship with a man who was rather well established. I’m ready for companionship and I miss having those extras and being treated like a pretty princess. 😉

  32. Honey says:

    Honey has way too much time on her hands…waiting for my sweetie to get here! Of course I am meeting him at the airport, dressed to the nines!!Ready to run and greet him!!
    I think my next ad is going to be “I give good love!” the operative word in “pussy whipped” is pussy! My man will be the first to tell you that he is pussywhipped!
    just my bawdy statement of the moment!!

  33. Honey says:

    That video is good…Run the world(girls)!!! pay her!! Beyonce….She knows she’s worth it and she got Jay z believing it too!!

  34. RC msb says:

    @ Lola

    This is a tough tough game. The odds are against you out of the gate, there are a ton of flakes, you have to be very proactive, and you will probably kiss a few toads on the way to your prince.

    That said it is a game that can be won. You look very attractive and you have a good profile. You write well and seem to have plenty of potential as a SB.

    Are you being proactive? Are you contacting potentials? Sending emails based on their profiles? Waiting to be found can be a slow ride. SDs can do that, SBs usually need to work a bit harder.

    The exact ratio is hard to pin down but assume that ten other ladies are all trying to get one real SD and you won’t be way off the mark. Unlike dating sites this is nowhere near a 50/50 mix. Act accordingly.

    If you are new to this I suggest reaading through the various tips, articles and blogs on the right side of this page. People on this blog can be very helpful and supportive and are pretty good with questions.

    And yes, you can be a SB.

    Welcome and good luck.

  35. Honey says:

    Lola, I’ll look,but I’m sure you are doing everything right,now the waiting…
    Jill scott is my new avatar.she is not a young skinny thing, but she acts and sings like she’s golden!!
    when I’m broke, I put on strong female songs and some linkin park!! gotta get in a man catching mood,sometimes you are on a roll, other times can’t buy any luck with a crisp, hunnert dolla bill!
    Feast or famine.. why is it like that sometimes? I think maybe when one is happy, really happy, it spills over and other people see it and want to be a part of it. They see that light and want to bathe in it. Best thing though, you can fake it til you make it! Again, I KNOW it can be hard to be happy when you are broke, my mom used to have a saying, “I’m poor, but proud” she’s lying it’s really hard to be poor AND proud. But I fake it…I never complain and no one but my most closest friends ever know how broke I have been. Other people have told me they “know” I am “independently wealthy” ! I am learning grant writing and hang around such types, but I live within my means. I’m really cheap to keep, actually $3000 and below, most months and that’s everything. I would LOVE to get 20 thou, that is my dream,my fantasy… I know I am lucky but I’ve been working at it for years. everyone sees me at my AFTER stage. That’s why I am here. I know that not everybody cares to here my tales, but if I can help ONE chick skip some of the scary parts that I had to go though then I’m cool. Let ONE, dark skinned, light hued, too skinny, too fat, too exotic looking chick know how special she is. let one older over the hill,chick that the t.v. says is NOT haute , let her know hey babes, you got game…
    My name is Honey Brown and I got it going on…and you can do the same. Hi Spawn!

  36. Spawn of Santa says:

    SD Guru, asking for a discount is just good negotiating and taking advantage of market conditions 😉
    If your SB is down on her luck and can’t afford to lose whatever little you provide, you would more likely get her to take a discount than if she was doing fairly well. (ex: Storm’s SB)

    As far as working overtime, there are different types of people. Some reach a level of increased reward and then relax, and others continue the pace, but get more and more rewards.
    I guess in terms of F U number, you could say that for people who enjoy their job, enjoy making money, no number is high enough.

  37. CardsFan SD says:

    Too bad my 1 round is done. :-)

  38. Spawn of Santa says:

    Cardsfan, when was the last time you rented an apartment? In this century we have a thing called tenant’s right. An apartment can’t ask you to move as long as you comply with the rules – i.e. No disturbances, no illegal activities, and paying rent on time. You can live month to month for 20 years if you want to, the only way they have to get you to renew a lease is rent increases. And by that I mean official rent increases, that will be applied to the new tenants signing up, they can’t increase just your rent. The rent can go up by 20%, but will the complex attract enough tenants at that price to take a risk making the current tenant with established payment history leave? It’s all supply and demand, my friend, and don’t forget that nice quiet CLEAN tenants after whom you wouldnt have to gut the entire apartment are worth more than just their rent.
    Re: presumtion that rent will increase – it depends on the market. When the housing market was booming, the rents were not increasing, and some were decreasing.
    I know that salaried jobs don’t pay overtime, but you have an option to go home at 5 like everyone else, or stay and work till 7. If you like your job, staying till 7 is not a chore.
    Dont be making conjectures about my peers, I started 6 fig straight out of undergrad, mkay?

  39. Lola says:

    Hey ladies. Can you please give me some some help with my profile?Profile Number 622294
    I would really like a SB but I am having no luck. What am I doing wrong? I’m not a gold digger I just want a successful smart man. Perhaps I’m not attractive enough for the SB role? Please help and give suggestions. Thanks

    Also any SBs in Midwest who would like to support/vent/get together and be friendly please speak up now. We can ask the blog gods for contact infor I guess.

  40. Honey says:

    I would of course take a paycut from my daddy, I kinda already have since he has to shell out about $3000 a month for the soon to be ex wife. He told me that we would have to reassess?our situation. He’s given me everything I’ve asked for, how could I say no, hit the road,jack? Believe it or not- I’m not a money grubbing ho! We still manage to squeak by and he knows that he CAN trust me with anything and I work hard to earn it. Cause when you do, it’s great.
    I also send him babyface videos and other sexy songs, Soon as I get home from work is my favorite. Babyface just sets the mood…
    And all the texan chicks need to get together, looks like I may have to go to dallas!!! maybe I’ll round up lisa and take her along the sugababy bus with me!! I would love to go to dallas meet at a nice hotel and do lunch with any that would care to join, I’m a kinda matchmaker in my group, always have guys hanging around asking if I have any friends,(my current gang of friends includes flight attendants and carnival dancers,maybe that’s why..?)that want to hang out. I would love to have a party, I need to have a reason to play whiz khalifa, “No sleep”!

  41. RC msb says:

    @Lily –

    I see two main factors to consider. Do you care for your SD, and what is you financial situation? I can only answer from the perspective of caring. I have cared for all of my SDs and I remain good friends with each of them.

    With that as a given it becomes a matter of finances. In the bad old days when my business was struggling to get on it’s feet I needed every dime. I would have had to end the exclusive part of our arrangement and find either another SD or a part time job. I would have told my SD this and even though I would try hard to keep things as normal as possible, scheduling conflicts would occur.

    For the most part I would try within reason to keep our relationship as close to what it was as I could.

    These days when my allowance is used as frosting for an already healthy retirement fund I would simply take the cut and not change a thing.

    Honorable gentleman in both cases I’m sure that they would make me whole and then some if/when they recovered.

    Some might note that my perspective is not truly NSA. I agree.

  42. Ms. Taken says:

    Hi Sugar Fam, it’s been awhile since I’ve stopped by and it’s good to see the conversation still going. I have missed it so. I tried catching up (really, I did), and went as far back as the19th before giving up. What are y’all talking about :)

    Anyway, just wanted to send, a cheery hello to all.

  43. cleo says:

    dallas after three rent increases in three years i said “no more or i move” which i will say until NEW tenants pay as much as i do.. otherwise i will move (and cry, my studio is perfect)

  44. Lily says:

    Guru – hypothetical.

  45. Dallasbaby says:

    Every apartment I have had I got a notice that rent would be going up and in most cases I would decide it was time to move on to a fresh new place that was maybe cheaper.

  46. CardsFan SD says:

    @spawn: This could easily get silly. I’ll play this round. I’m reading your response as such: the actions taken benefit the other party at sacrifice to self.

    If you lock in a rate for a longer period, that generally benefits you with a presumption that rents will increase. Plus, your month-to-month provides you no security as well – you could have to move for someone who will commit to longterm. Definitely your side benefits, as well as the apartment.

    In this economy, with minimal job security in so many fields, everything you said also ensures you keep your job, right? Easily, self-preserving actions. Not to mention, I don’t know of any salaried jobs that pay overtime in my field. Overtime is for hourly. I think many folks can relate to “full time” positions that expect 60+ hours a week. Sure, you don’t have to — but when your peers are…

  47. Spawn of Santa says:

    Lily, I would say “sounds like with us spending so much time together you let taking care of business become a second priority. It is with a heavy heart that I would agree to cutting our meetings in half and my allowance to 75%, but I am looking forward to you sorting everything out and returning to me full time more financially stable than ever!”

  48. Spawn of Santa says:

    >If you are happy with your apartment — happier than you thought you would be… do you go to the apartment complex manager and ask if you can pay more?
    No, you renew your lease (the commitment to continue paying) for another year, instead of going on a month to month basis.
    >>If you are happy with your job — happier than you thought you would be, do you go to your boss and ask for a pay cut, as you would gladly work for less?
    No, but you gladly put in unpaid overtime, while keeping the same salary. Essentially working for less. Not only for less that you could have, but also for less than your peers in the same position.

    • SD Guru says:


      Obviously different people will take different approaches given the same situation. I don’t disagree with what you wrote but I’d like to provide another perspective. I’m responding to your statements as is and not how it’s applicable to a sugar situation.

      No, you renew your lease (the commitment to continue paying) for another year, instead of going on a month to month basis.

      Actually, you’d renew the lease and ask for a discount as a repeat, loyal customer. Depending on supply and demand, it may cost the apartment more money to bring in a new renter than providing a discount to an existing renter.

      No, but you gladly put in unpaid overtime, while keeping the same salary. Essentially working for less. Not only for less that you could have, but also for less than your peers in the same position.

      In a professional work environment most people would strive for the same or higher pay as their peers. No one would purposely work more for less for an extended amount of time. When they do it’s because they have ulterior motives such as positioning for a promotion or a better paying job. When that motive is gone they’ll likely revert back to the norm.

      he wonders if you would agree to a 25% decrease in allowance so that the relationship has a stronger, healthier prognosis for longevity

      Is this an actual or hypothetical situation? Given that the SD is perfect in every way, the allowance is way more than you needed, and it’s been a year already, what’s the down side to taking a temporary pay cut until he can get his finances back in order?

  49. Enigma SD says:

    Regarding SDs always looking to pay less… it has been my personal experience (and also echoed by other SDs here), that the more comfortable I am with an SB, the more generous I become. In fact, after about a year with my first SB, I trusted her so much to not take advantage of me, she basically got whatever she needed (not wanted) – she had a credit card of mine and there were NEVER any surprises.

  50. Midwest SB says:

    Good morning sugars!

    VC – Yay, Yay, Yay! So nice to hear from you! I agree about Lisa…thanks for speaking up.

    (((Hugs)))) Lisa!

    Lily – I see the point you are trying to prove. In the end, I believe you are going to have to REALLY step up your game and have an excellent reason for him to provide more. Your business is doing well and you have your home all thanks to sugar and your efforts. According to you, he couldn’t possibly want anything more from any woman ever, so what is the true motive? If it’s strictly because he can, I would be very, very careful. A man can sense motives a mile away and you’ve worked hard to keep that arrangement going only to risk losing it altogether. Personally, I find that a gift given, rather than a gift asked for, is much more satisfying. Then again, my successes don’t come close to what you’ve accomplished, so I may not have a fair perspective.

  51. Lily says:

    If you were about a year into an arrangement with a guy you adored, and it was completely perfect for you in every way, and the allowance was way more than you needed, and your SD sat down with you & honestly confessed that he was so eager to beat the competition for you at the outset that he offered a quite high allowance as part of the package to try to ensure that no other option would beckon……but now it’s starting to be more difficult than he anticipated to budget it into his life without creating hardship, and he wonders if you would agree to a 25% decrease in allowance so that the relationship has a stronger, healthier prognosis for longevity in the second year and beyond……. What would you say?

  52. Beach_Girl says:

    VillaCypris~ VC!!!!! Comment ca va? I miss you girlie 😀 Yes, I know, I was getting my frustrations out the other night… it is done and over. Maybe for now, I need to take a break and just focus on business… but I do want to have fun lately!!! all work and no play is not good for the soul 😀
    Hope you are all good

  53. Honey says:

    QuirkyCocoa,maybe I’ll make a quick stop in Dallas to say hi. It’s not that far for a new friend!
    Costa Rica is a bit rainy today but I’m still having a blast!! Been here two weeks and Wed. Mr. Daddy is coming to stay for a week! thank you for asking! Now I am going to bed…all this fresh air and stuff… Goodnight again everybody!

  54. QuirkyCocoaBabe says:

    I’m in Dallas, but if you need me to be in Houston…. ;D
    What’s your plan? :-) It will take me a little bit..need to save to head down there. I’d be happy to help you have him “stolen” away.

    I’ll look into the other posts on how to figure out adding an image proper eventually…when I’m not in a lazy mood.

    Also, I like what you were saying, even though I’m new at this, I do realize it’s not all about the money. It’s how you’re treated and if he’s offering the world but also treating you dirty, it’s not worth your time. There should be no price on self-respect and no dollar amount for which I’d allow myself to be disrespected. I always keep my eyes open for what my friends and I call, “the shiftiness.”

    And how’s Costa Rica? It was rainy and windy as hell over here!

  55. overweight says:

    Omg have you heard beyonces new song run the world (girls)? I’ve noticed sugar baby quotes in a lot of her songs, like Diva… and now this one
    “Boy I’m just playing
    Come here baby
    Hope you still like me
    If you pay me “

    • SD Guru says:

      SDs… is there a reason why you wouldn’t/don’t suggest a “raise,” or at least broach the subject of whether or not your SB is still “happy” with her allowance?

      As CardsFan SD explained, in most cases people wouldn’t voluntarily offer to pay more for the same thing. However, as part of having open communication in a sugar relationship, both parties should check with each other periodically to make sure they’re still happy with the arrangement. If there are changes in circumstances that require the arrangement to be modified, then it should be brought up for discussion and come to a mutually agreeable resolution.

      You keep on doing what works for you, just so long as you keep those ladies happy!

      As far as I know they’re all happy. But wait, I better go check to see if any of them want a raise!! 😆

  56. margarita Meg says:


    I’m an admitted novice to this, but based upon what I’ve read and observed, I would approach the situation with two points in mind:

    1. You are an asset to him — that’s why he’s been giving you an allowance for the past 6-12 months. I think that most SDs are SDs because they want to help a lovely lady they care about. There are a variety of ways to approach the topic, but you need to be confident when you raise the conversation, assuming you do. You are a sexy woman, and he is lucky to spend time with you!

    2. You need to be very specific about (a) your reasons for asking for a raise and (b) your other options.

    (a) Why are you in an SB/SD relationship? To pay regular bills, to pay off debt, etc.? Are you not paying down your student loans as quickly as you’d like? I am gathering that there is not a major change in circumstances based on your blog entries, but if there is one or more — you need to tell him. He will want to help out.

    (b) Assuming you really do need the extra $$, if he says ‘no,’ what are you prepared to do? You should not manipulate him (everyone hates that), but if you need to pick up an extra shift/work overtime in order to make up for the $$ you’re claiming you need, then you need to express that and follow through on them. He should know that he won’t see you as often.

    Combining (a) and (b), I would approach it along the lines of “I’m considering picking up an extra shift at the DQ to fast-forward paying off my student loan X … I wanted to raise it with you first because it might interfere with our time together, which is something I don’t want to do … I’m just worried about carrying that loan past X date because then I’ll have super-high interest rates …” Hopefully at that point you’ve told him you like spending time with him and don’t want to cut back on it, you given him very specific info regarding your reasons for possibly doing it, and you’ve left the door WIDE open for him to respond along the lines of “I don’t want to cut back on our time together … can I help you with X loan.”

    My thoughts.

    xo and sugar,


  57. Honey says:

    Thanks again , White lillies and I must remember to use spellcheck next time!! it’s – he’s helping me, not he help me….

  58. Honey says:

    I totally agree with cardsfans- ” In the end — if it’s a great relationship, sure, I want her happy. And in mine in particular, she doesn’t have to ask, but she simply let’s me know there’s a need for more for whatever reason, and I take care of it, as part of how we keep each other up to date in what’s going on with our day/week, etc.” I make my daddy happy. I am there for him. I take all his calls,even if he calls me 10 times a day! Which sometimes he does…but I know he is looking for a kind,caring voice, a break from alll the demands of work.I make sure to ask him how HIS day was and tell him how clever he is and how it is great that he is such a hard worker. I make sure to always have a real smile when I see him, he help making some dreams come true and helping me acheive some goals,how could I NOT be happt everytime I see him.? That is not to say that I always have the time available to se him as much as he would like. School work,friends, family and boyfriend can keep me busy and You try to explain to the guy who is paying your rent, school and bills why you can’t see him today. It can be a balancing act and bigger amounts of money can lead to bigger expectations and a bigger sense of failure when things don’t go your way…practice saying no and sticking to your guns, if you can’t end a starbucks date with a guy who shows every intention of being a jerk, it will be that much harder to turn away a guy paying $599 for a date. It’s not about the money, it’s about what your time is worth.
    Honey-from an undisclosed place in Costa rica…goodnight and goodluck

  59. whitelillies says:

    Hi everyone!

    @ SD Guru – Hypothetically, of course…lol You keep on doing what works for you, just so long as you keep those ladies happy!

    @ Honey – I love your attitude and honesty, but I’m sure I’ve said that before.

  60. VillaCypris says:

    @ Beach – salut mon amie! don’t let these people get to you… people come into our lives for a reason, for a moment or longer, and that is the attitude which i have adopted… if i message someone and he does not respond, it was not ‘meant to be’ …some entity with more knowledge than I have is looking out for me and i have to trust that judgement. So dispatch with the lying SDs and move on to those men who are honest in their expectations and actions! xoxo

  61. VillaCypris says:

    Hi everyone!!! wow it’s been a LONG time since I posted… I don’t know if LISA is lurking or not…. but as someone who has been corresponding with her multiple times per day since August 2010… I must ask all of you to try and be more understanding. She is not exaggerating, and has a very difficult life and needs love and support, not judgement and criticism. Thanks for the ‘shout out ‘ Stephan, hope you’re well and happy. And Midwest, always a pillar of class. :)

  62. CardsFan SD says:


    If you are happy with your apartment — happier than you thought you would be… do you go to the apartment complex manager and ask if you can pay more?

    If you are happy with your job — happier than you thought you would be, do you go to your boss and ask for a pay cut, as you would gladly work for less?

    People don’t tend to look for opportunities to put less money in their own pocket, especially when things are agreed upon. From my own personal, yet short, experience here, I can say there are many times when I’ve gone above what was expected because I want to. So, no renegotiation was required. My circumstance is different, others will assuredly provide a separate viewpoint.

    In the end — if it’s a great relationship, sure, I want her happy. And in mine in particular, she doesn’t have to ask, but she simply let’s me know there’s a need for more for whatever reason, and I take care of it, as part of how we keep each other up to date in what’s going on with our day/week, etc.

    Each SD is different. Personally — the situation described isn’t likely one that I would be in for a variety of reasons. .

  63. Honey says:

    There was this guy named Gil, I still have his useless debit card. years ago, he approached me,offering the moon, all the while changing his password on his debit card. He stiffed me $200 dollars and tried to call ME a slut. Married lived with his wife and kid,his wife was always a “cheap whore” and the other girls just sluts looking for money. Watch out for the ones who call other women whores,be assured they will turn on you. it is not all rainbows and unicorns, I’ve put my time in with the jerks. I just kept at it, believing in myself. that I was special and deserved to be treated so. I have a lot to offer. I never let anyone,even myself, forget that. We a guy is not acting right, I reserve the right to leave,anytime anyplace. I’m not being paid to listen to anyone’s sh*t. A nice guy is taking me out to dinner or lunch to see if we like each other, not to see if he would like to screw me. He would like to screw me, but does he want to talk to me, take me out, treat me nice..?If he can’t assure me, then I thank him for the dinner and move on to the next one. I used to date several man at the same time.That way I am always busy. Date, not sleep and I tell them that they have competition. I don’t throw it in their face, I just let them know I have options,.

  64. Jessie says:

    Cards wrote – (In response to Lily’s question) “…however: while I may not personally bring it up, I would be open to the discussion after say, 4-6 really enjoyable months.”

    @SDs – Since you already know how difficult/embarrassing it is for a SB to talk about an allowance, is there a reason why you wouldn’t/don’t suggest a “raise,” or at least broach the subject of whether or not your SB is still “happy” with her allowance?

  65. Honey says:

    Midwest-glad you are feeling better. Lily_gotta learn to toot your own horn!
    Sugarsugar, sugarizy and Kennedy,and Lisa and Quirky,hi! Tell me who I missed and I will fix it in my next shot out.
    I am here to get others opinion, this is not a typical situation for most folks. it’s been a long time coming for me. Took me years to refine and yeah, I made most of the same mistakes. I learned from those mistakes and I stopped compromising. I looked around at friends and stuff and tried to figure out what I wanted and what worked for me.I made my own rules and stayed true to those rules. Mostly I talk on the blog to remind everyone that sugar comes in all forms, shapes and sizes. A plump,cool black chick in her 30’s can play the game too. It’s a numbers game. You have to put a superior product out there.Some guys don’t know quality, don’t date them. Get yourself in shape,excersise so you will be in your best frame of mind.Where else can people talk about these things? It’s the sugar game, that’s why it is sad when one falls for the other and it’s not the same…people still get their feelings hurt. I speak up to make my difference in on what is sugar. I am not making moral judgements, just telling my two cents and what has worked for me.
    No sex on the first date on the sugarbaby’s part. Sugardaddies are advised to go for the gusto!
    Shopping or money MUST exchange hands before it is official. A kiss is nice, now.. the money is not for you to sleep with him, it is to put you on retainer to continue dating him, the rest is up to him.

  66. Dallasbaby says:

    NEVER make eye contact while eating a banana.

  67. Lily says:

    I can’t bring myself to toot my own horn and besides, I’m already lucky. I’m not going to think about it anymore.

  68. Dallasbaby says:

    Lily, I do not think it is a good idea. Most men are trying to figure out how to pay less not more. If you learned anything from this blog at all ……it is that guys get upset when a girl wants more.

    • SD Guru says:

      Most men are trying to figure out how to pay less not more. If you learned anything from this blog at all ……it is that guys get upset when a girl wants more.

      That may very well be true for “most men”. But what Lily described is a long term, mutually beneficial, genuine sugar relationship, which probably doesn’t apply to “most men”. However, since she’s not up for tooting her own horn then it’s all a moot point anyway. As she said, she’s already pretty lucky!!

  69. RC msb says:

    I considered ‘Master’, but it lacks that fun Elvira vibe. :) Guess I’ll stick with RC for now.

    Enjoy your time with your friends, friends are very good for the soul.

  70. Midwest SB says:

    RC Mister…too formal. Will work on the name :-)

    Just seeing some long, lost friends! It’s good for the soul.

    • SD Guru says:

      isn’t there some way to communicate that she made a calculation error in how far the allowance would really go to achieve the desired impact on her life and that a 25%-35% increase would actually take the arrangement from near-perfect for her life, over all, to totally perfect?

      Let’s go back to the 3 things I mentioned…

      1. The reason for re-negotiation.

      It goes without saying that more allowance will make a SB’s life more perfect. And it’s possible that some SB’s may have undersold themselves during the allowance discussion at the beginning. But are those good reasons to re-negotiate from a SD’s perspective? I’d suggest that you spin it in terms of how you have added value (happiness, pleasure, impact, etc) to his life and what a great job you’ve done. There is nothing wrong with asking for a raise for a job well done. But asking for a raise because you thought you undersold yourself or more money is better could give the wrong impression to the SD.

      2. What are you negotiating.

      if there was some way that I could make a similarly proportioned increase in my impact in his life that would change the arrangement from near perfect to perfect, for him, I’d wanna do it if I could!

      Why don’t you ask him if there is a way you could make an increase in your impact to his life. I think a job well done is good enough reason to ask for a raise, but it would be even better if you can get him to tell you how you can take the sugar relationship up a notch.

      3. How it is brought up.

      My idea of significant was 6-12 months of a genuine, close relationship with great mutual admiration, affection, chemistry, and always having a killer time together.

      No one likes surprises, so I’d suggest that you drop some hints about how well things are going and how you think you’ve been the prefect SB for him. If he’s smart enough then he should be able to pick up the vibe that perhaps you’re due for a raise. And if you’re really persuasive then he will be the one to come up with the brilliant idea to give you a raise and you should act pleasantly surprised.

      As I said, worst case is that he doesn’t clue in to your hints or he says no. But once you’ve planted the seed then you’ll be able to try again down the road. Good luck and I hope you get everything your little heart desires!! :)

      I hope the above makes sense. I’ve covered the main points, but if anyone is interested in the finer points of how SD’s react to this type of scenario then I’ll elaborate later.

  71. RC msb says:

    @Lily I’m not an SD gent, however I have renegotiated allowance upwards when circumstances changed. I feel if you have an reasonable reason a reasonable man will hear you out.

  72. Lily says:

    Exclusivity isn’t on the table or valued to anyone in the equation.

    I like the idea of asking him how I could improve things! But…. , likely he will insist that he is perfectly content the way things are and not ask if I could use any tweak.

  73. RC Mister of the Dark says:

    Very pleased you are feeling well. Any details about this ‘Special weekend’? I’m feeling extra nosy today.

  74. Midwest SB says:

    Lily – are you willing to add exclusivity to the equation? It may come up.

    Hey sugars! I’m feeling better than I’ve felt in weeks! Finally! School is back on (with a glitch, of course), but I feel like I’m still achieving one important goal!

    Special weekend coming up and I’m soooooo excited!

  75. Enigma SD says:

    oops and saw the second part of your question…. most guys (moi included) aren’t so good at picking up on subtle hints. My experience is that most people like to help… so if you can mention that it certainly would be helpful if you could x, y, z…. or maybe you can bring it up by asking him if there is anything you could do to improve the relationship… he might in-turn ask you the same thing :)

  76. Enigma SD says:

    Lily — she intentionally got so drunk that intimacy was out of the question. After some post-trip heated discussions, she admitted that she sabotaged the intimacy on the second night of our trip because she felt she deserved more allowance, even though it was exactly what we agreed upon. I am sure there might be a plausible and worse way to bring it up, but they escape me right now. Believe it or not, we survived that incident, only to have something even more bizarre come up about 2 months later…. so much for second chances :)

  77. Lily says:

    Correction: to work even better. I am thrilled to continue with the status quo. Would just be even more ecstatic if it was tweaked to perfection.

  78. Lily says:

    My idea of significant was 6-12 months of a genuine, close relationship with great mutual admiration, affection, chemistry, and always having a killer time together. The gentleman desiring to look after his lady adequately and the lady too timid to ask for too much at the outset, but finding that over time, the allowance didn’t meet the needs she would like it to meet, and realizing she made an error in not setting it a bit higher from the get-go. Sometimes SBs are so afraid of scaring off the guy they really like and want by asking for too much, but then over time realizing that he could easily do more and all signs point to that he would be happy to meet her needs if he was somehow clued into the fact that a mild adjustment could impact her life in a positive way IF it is brought up WITH FINESSE and not like a petulant, entitled child demanding more out of greed.

    Can you elaborate on how she brought it up horribly?

    What would be a tactful, delicate way to start the conversation without having the man bristle and feel put on the defense and have his ego suffer at the insecure worry that maybe it’s all about the money for her and she isn’t as into him as he thought. I would never want to give that impression because it isn’t true. But after long term happy period, isn’t there some way to communicate that she made a calculation error in how far the allowance would really go to achieve the desired impact on her life and that a 25%-35% increase would actually take the arrangement from near-perfect for her life, over all, to totally perfect? After all, if there was some way that I could make a similarly proportioned increase in my impact in his life that would change the arrangement from near perfect to perfect, for him, I’d wanna do it if I could! And boy, he could… (he could triple it without blinking).

    There seems like when two people have something rare and special, even if it’s a sugar relationship, these things could somehow be put out there for discussion without making anyone feel bad about having a certain role to fulfill for the arrangement to work….?

  79. Enigma SD says:

    Lily — yes I had an SB attempt to renegotiate an allowance after we had been together a while. Her approach was awful and it lead to a huge fight. I think if you do it correctly, an SD might be receptive to it. I think that the terms of the relationship/arrangement would need to have changed for you to bring it up though, e.g. meeting more often, more interaction than you anticipated, etc. However, like any contract, if you bring it up for renegotiation, make sure you are prepared for one potential outcome… termination of the contract. You are savvy — I am sure you can handle it properly though.

    • SD Guru says:


      To re-negotiate an arrangement after a significant amount of time is possible. It depends on (1) what the reason is for re-negotiation, (2) what is being negotiated, and (3) how it is brought up. Is there a major change in the SB’s circumstances? Does she want more allowance for more (or less) interaction? Will this come as a complete surprise to the SD? When it’s approached properly the worst thing that can happen is for the SD to say no. If you can provide more information then we can give you more concrete feedback.

  80. CardsFan SD says:

    @Lily — I have not been in that situation, so you may take my response with a grain of salt, if you wish, however: while I may not personally bring it up, I would be open to the discussion after say, 4-6 really enjoyable months. Depends on how long your ‘significant’ is.

  81. Lily says:

    This question goes to the gents.

    Has your SB ever re-negotiated her allowance after a significant amount of time happily together? Was it a completely negative thing to have that open for discussion again, and were you willing to discuss it open-mindedly?

  82. Dallasbaby says:

    Talk to the booty cause the hands off duty !

  83. Honey says:

    Quirky,look at the previous posts, they have pointers on how to do all that stuff. and I’m looking for someone to steal him away…! I have a plan…

  84. Honey says:

    Quirky,I’m looking for someone to steal him away from me. He’s not going to go easy…Are you in Houston?

  85. overweight says:

    theres a Chinese saying.
    Men get corrupt with money, women get corrupt to get money.

  86. City Gal by the Lake says:

    Hope everyone is doing well…

    I feel so out of touch!!! :(

    • SD Guru says:

      SD Guru – Good plans, though I’m impressed you have the time/energy to kept three SB’s happy

      I haven’t even talked about SB #4 and #5. Hypothetically of course! 😆

      Money corrupts men. They have a tendency to find it difficult to be faithful to one woman when they are not wealthy and give them money and power and it’s pretty much hopeless.

      That’s an interesting perspective, let me provide a SD’s point of view. Money corrupts women too. The lure of an allowance can cause some women to ignore common sense and warning signs to put themselves in an undesirable situation that they wouldn’t otherwise be in. Remember, it takes two to tango. It takes a SD to offer an allowance, and it takes a SB to accept it. If both parties are doing so willingly then that’s all that matters.

      Just look at all the celebrity and politicians who have been caught with their pants down lately. It’s an ego thing and they can get away with it. Like some of the SDs who post here who have more than one SB. The kid in the candy store syndrome

      Please don’t confuse what some of the celebrities and politicians did with NSA sugar relationships. Some SD’s have more than one SB’s, and some SB’s have more than one SD’s. There is nothing wrong with that as long as both parties understand it’s NSA.

      Do you used to go by OC Girl?… And stop trying to bully me girlfriend!

      We haven’t heard from OC in a while. And if someone is really being bullied then I’m sure the white knights would have come to the rescue already! 😛

  87. QuirkyCocoaBabe says:

    Oops! I think I messed up trying to add an image to the comment. Any pointers on how to get it right?

  88. QuirkyCocoaBabe says:


    If you’re still looking for a friend or girlfriend to give your SD away to, what would be the qualifications outside of being nice, sweet and not a gold-digger?

    I thought about it for a while and decided that if you’re serious about looking to go back to serial dating and I’m looking for an experienced SD, that it couldn’t hurt to ask you about it. I’m still new to this whole thing, so I’m not 100% on how appropriate or inappropriate this is.. still confused on some of the sugar ettiquite.

    FYI, Betty White was indeed hilarious but Eugune Levy soooo stole the show. 😀

  89. Beach_Girl says:

    greenbean~ Yes, I know some lie and it’s ok, I actually hate it… needed to vent! It pisses me off when I get lied too…. it’s ok, it’s over 😀

    Hope everyone is good…

  90. whitelillies says:

    Hi everyone!
    Just wanted to announce that I have been initiated into the not so exclusive club of women who have been harassed by the infamous wallstreetpartyanimal and his message was ridiculous. No greeting, just “send me pictures” and an e-mail address. I still can’t believe that works on some women…he didn’t even promise me anything to flake on!

    @ Dallas – Good luck and be careful with your new exercise hobby!

    @ Greenbean – Great post, but I actually do want mentoring and advice, I just want them WITH spoiling, lol. I’m glad you’re at a point where you can not be upset by it, it’s hard not to take it personally.

    @ RC msb – Charlie Sheen’s winning streak continues! I’m going to have to look that up now…

    @ Honey – I’m really curious about Houston now, I’m sure it can’t be all that bad, but I’ve never been there, so for all I know it may be.

    @ Lisa – If you’re lurking, I feel you on the crazy religious mom front…my mother is the same way, an archaic relic that still believes in the ideas like believes any sex outside of marriage is evil. Someone very close to me was raped, and she asked if I thought she (the victim) may be lying about it. I know how damaging it is to come from a place like that, and my heart goes out to you.

  91. Honey says:

    Hello all!
    Lisa, I was not dissing on you. Some of the things you said reminded me of a close friend…
    Everything isn’t just black or white. You do NOT need to be deleted. You DO have anger issues. You may be right in having anger issues. A lot of un fun things have happened to you, I would be angry too. And it seemed like if any one made any suggestion that was not just straight money, you had a reason why it would not work. I know that I value your input on the blog, your experience is true for you and it has value. Thank you for sharing and please keep doing so,but lighten it up, for me, sometimes reading about it makes me sad..unless that is what you want it to do? I can vouch that being carless in Houston sucks. The saying goes,”If the devil had a house in Houston and a house in Hell, he would rent the house in Houston and live in the house in hell!’
    What are you trying to tell the others here,Lisa? Don’t love? Family is bad to love? Life is bad when you are forty-five? Houston is hot? Lisa,hang in there…it’s not all bad, is it? Do you have anything to be thankful for? Anything piece of luck or joy to share?
    Sorry,if I’m rocking the board unnecessarily, I’m just chilling in the tropics, staying at this cool B
    and B with the coolest people ever!! Alex, Chrissy,Derrick I love you guys!! 4ever!

  92. RC msb says:

    Morning all!

    Just saw an interesting blurb on my news reader. Charlie Sheen has just been offered 3 Mil to become president of a Sugar Daddy site (Not this one). I think it was sourced from TMZ. didn’t read the whole thing.

    @Lisa – Hang in there girl, it can get better, trust me.

    @Midwest Ahh yes, me on a stripper pole would be a sight to make eyes sore.
    I liked your dark days, Always thought that moniker had some flamboyance :)

    Too tired to catch up on everything else just yet. Just thrilled the world didn’t end. I have way too much to do to deal with that too.

  93. greenbean says:

    Dallasbaby- be careful, don’t hurt yourself!

  94. greenbean says:


    I think you are maybe asking for too much from an SD. While it would be nice to meet a handsome, caring and generous SD, I think for the most part they are few and far between. Many, if they can get away with it and afford it will have more than one SD. They will lie to your face to get what they want or have to be honest with you knowing it will hurt your feelings

    Keep in mind that most of these guys are older, not so attractive and probably could not get a hot young woman if they were not wealthy and successful. Even though a lot of women here say they are here for the mentoring and advice I think most would admit they are here for the allowance and spoiling. If this were match.com and an overweight, balding unattractive man over the age of 50 were propositioning them there’s no way they’d give them the time of day.

    The guys know this. I would imagine many of them are bitter because they could not get the hot girl before they offered an allowance. Some of them probably feel some sort of satisfaction being able to hurt in return and be in control. So don’t take it personally.

    I’ve also noticed that the one’s that waste our time, string us along and then poof are the same ones who, if you call them on it or express any anger over how they treat you are the ones who will then dismiss you immediately for being high strung or difficult. But in reality all we want is to be treated with respect, not lied to and not strung along for months. Good luck getting what you want. I have given up. Not on looking for an SD but I’ve given up on expecting them to act like caring human beings. Money corrupts men. They have a tendency to find it difficult to be faithful to one woman when they are not wealthy and give them money and power and it’s pretty much hopeless. Just look at all the celebrity and politicians who have been caught with their pants down lately. It’s an ego thing and they can get away with it. Like some of the SDs who post here who have more than one SB. The kid in the candy store syndrome

    I now expect them all to flake or lie and I just next them when they do. They are not worth my time or me getting aggravated over it and making myself sick. You seem very upset and they are just not worth the grief. You need to play the game or risk getting hurt every time. I know there are some great SDs out there but like I said, they are in the minority

  95. Dallasbaby says:

    Playing with my pole again. I oiled my skin because I was feeling dry and itchy. Did a hand stand then tried to balance on the pole and slid into a back bend. Oil and poles not a good mix ! I see how this is a great workout. Feel sore already ! I wanna take classes so I learn all the fancy stuff..they ever have a pole contest I saw on utube but it looks more like pure gymnast moves by the pros ! The one I have the pole also spins so I look all fancy ! * Spin around the big wide world *

  96. Dallasbaby says:

    And stop trying to bully me girlfriend !

  97. Dallasbaby says:

    You seem to know about the reviews too ! Like I said my info was posted on it. Guys where asking if they met me yet and what I offer from my sugar daddy profile….also, you sound more like a girl to me trying to pretend to be an SD to maybe give your point more meaning. Do you used to go by OC Girl?

  98. Jessie says:

    @Beach – Nope…always used my first name…can’t be bothered to come up with a clever moniker.

    • SD Guru says:

      Can you move on from busting my balls already!

      Don’t worry, I’m not busting your balls!! When someone brings a new and unique perspective it’s always appreciated but it will naturally raise some questions. By the way, what’s a nice girl like you doing with a stripper pole and reading escort reviews?? :mrgreen:

      If the situation is as you described above, making a decision won’t be challenging for that many people.

      You’re right, it would have been an easier decision if SB #3 wasn’t so hot and great in bed. That usually can get a SB pretty far in a sugar relationship, but even I have limits on what I’m willing to put up with. Hypothetically of course! :)

      I’m more interested to hear what your response would be if the relationship with the SB has been ideal in every way… and this is the first time she’s asked for help.

      See what I said about SB #2.

      Why is it that SDs lie to your face? It makes me insane!!!!!

      I’m shocked… SHOCKED to hear that there is lying in the sugar world!! 😛

      But seriously, I’m sorry to hear about what happened. Remember, trust is earned over time and it’s not to be given lightly. We all want to be treated with the same respect and trust that we’ve shown to others, but we all know in the sugar world that’s often not the case.

  99. Beach_Girl says:

    Jessie~ LMBO? Laughing your boots off? 😀

  100. Beach_Girl says:

    Jessie~ Did you have another handle before? so confused as to who is who now, with all the name changes. You know, it’s not about crossing me, yeah I get mad, I tell you then it’s done. Over , end of story for me. That is how I am… I also , always look inside myself to see what has made me so angry. it’s not always about the lies but about ones self…I know I can explode, but I always apologies if i’m wrong, which i have been … some here could attest to that! 😀
    Right now though, done with the search. done with SDs…. I just want one real SD that would treat me right and knows that I am not about lies but building something…
    Dallasbaby~ yes, some are very good at hiding it..

  101. Dallasbaby says:

    And guys need to know that most of girls are the same too, Some of us are better at hiding it ! When guys talk about dumping one sugar baby to get a better one, I secretly know most of us are the same and its just the same thing over ……I wish guys would learn this too !!!!!!!!!!!!

    They keep fishing but hello?….a fish is a damn fish ! Some are big and some are small but….its a fish !!!

  102. Dallasbaby says:

    I have learned that almost all guys are they same, some are just better at hiding it longer.

  103. Jessie says:

    Hey Beach, because you’re usually so sweet and upbeat, your venting has me LMBO; but that’s only because I know that once you get it out of your system you’ll be A-okay. I would NOT want to cross you :)

    Keep your chin up…there’s now less frogs to kiss.

  104. Beach_Girl says:

    Dallasbaby~ I agree… they get the girls to do what they want, the SBs just see $$$ signs and think they are honest… it’s sad really!

  105. Dallasbaby says:

    I think it goes to a whole new level when guys try to get intimacy as a way to prove a sugar baby is real and into him. Many guys try this on the new girls, the fact that they got away with it once keeps them coming back to do it to more girls. These guys get so slick ! It is not the creeps either, it is very savy rich men that have learned the art of playing people. They will check out in all background screening FYI …..because you can not go to jail for being a pain in the ass / douche bag ! No record of it !

  106. Beach_Girl says:

    Stephan~ I always get caught if I lie, so I don’t…. it’s more embarrassing to get caught, for me anyways! Yes, my business is coming along. I wish it was going faster, but when you are learning the how to’s at the same time… takes longer 😀
    But, I am doing it myself… no help from no SD. I am very proud of me 😀
    I actually started Because of Sam SD, oh he’s one I think didn’t lie to me 😀 . He talked in his article about a plan for the next few years or something like that. I asked him about it and I actually told him what I wanted and that it couldn’t be done, I thought…. He said everything can be achieved if you want it.. So, I started my search, asked for help from SD and friends …. they all laughed at me, because I didn’t know what I was doing… Went back to school to learn about what I wanted and started ! 😀 it is the most awesome feeling to do what I always wanted!
    So if you are reading this, Thanks Sam… 😉

  107. stephan says:

    Beach_Girl ~ me neither! One thing that scares me is that i know i lie to romantic partners too.. hence i don’t even have the right to not be lied to by others i suppose.

    Tho here’s to your business booming! Will always be looking out for you here… 😀

  108. Beach_Girl says:

    Stephan~ I am done with Blah SDs that lie and are fake, flakes and poofers… done!
    Not from here… 😀
    I lurk mostly, I work too much to know everyone like I use to… maybe when business gets better, I’ll be here more
    I am sorry that you got led on, I mean , we know why we are here… why lie and play those stupid games? It makes me insane. I have not met one, NOT ONE, that didn’t lie!

  109. stephan says:

    Beach_Girl: Hey you! I’ve been well, trying to take better care of my diet and overall health (progress is being made :) thank you :) How have you been? I did a happy dance when I saw your comments above earlier, always so good to see you!!

    I feel you on being done with the flakes, liars, and other types,,, just had to recover from one of those yesterday – he could have just been honest from the start but instead I got led on. Yet after spending my day on the blog I feel better (and had fun playing around with my camera taking those distorted funny pics… yeup :))

    I hope your Ciao is to the bad apple SD’s but not for here (at least not for long)!

  110. Beach_Girl says:

    Jessie~ YES, we all want to hear you sing 😀 ….

    Stephan~ Hey you, how have you been?

  111. Beach_Girl says:

    Midwest, AKA Reach The Beach SB, AKA Mistress of the Dark~ I am done… they are so not worth it! It really aggravates me and you know me… I say what I think usually… so He didn’t like that at all 😀
    he can use red nail polish on his right and think of me 😛 assholes make me insane!
    sorry for venting… it’s just drama, bullcrap and lies… I don’t want that in my life at all.
    There is enough drama in real life, a lot of bullcrap from work… and no thanks for lies!
    He thinks that the promise of an allowance and gifts will make me put up with this shit? No thanks
    Also, girls, don’t think that because he promises this allowance, whether it be 1k or 10k, that he will provide. Do not let them talk you into doing anything you are not comfortable with just because there might be an allowance. Some are just here to “get some” as some put it…. it irks me when I see SBs not getting what they were promised or put themselves in danger because there might be an allowance at some point! not all are legit…
    Ok venting over

  112. stephan says:

    @Lisa – echoes Midwest: tomorrow is a new day. Hang in there.

    I can’t tell you how much I love reading your comments. How is Percy doing? Thinking about you. Sugar fam. Always :)

  113. Spawn of Santa says:

    Um Lisa, who diagnosed you with extensive nerve damage in your hands?

    Also I’m pretty sure spending so much time on front of a computer screen can’t be good for your (allegedly) already weak eye sight

  114. Jessie says:

    @ Beach – Glad to hear you’re feeling better. Sounds like you had a tough day. Want me to sing for you….”the sun will come out tomorrow….” I looove that song…Plus I’m a little bit Pollyanna :)


    SB #3 who said she needs help with rent due to an unforeseen event. This is the toughest one because she has a track record of living recklessly and it’s not the first time she has asked for help on top of the arrangement. I decided to help her out one last time but it’s clear that I should move on.

    @Guru – If the situation is as you described above, making a decision won’t be challenging for that many people. I think even SDs who claim to be “White Knights” will disengage from this relationship very quickly, as obviously if it’s not full of “drama” already, it’s teetering on the brink. I’m more interested to hear what your response would be if the relationship with the SB has been ideal in every way…mutually beneficial for both, and this is the first time she’s asked for help. Of course, I’m only asking because like you stated, “this is purely hypothetical.”

  115. Midwest SB says:

    Ooopsy…forgot to change my name! Just look for the pearls…Midwest and Reach the Beach SB are the same! Kinda like Anna Molly and Naughty Molly :-) Remember when I was Midwest Mistress of the Dark?

  116. Reach The Beach SB says:

    BiCoastal – You’re stunning and your profile is so classy. I’d love to hear how things go. Just know that most new profiles on the site are going to have to sift through a lot of jerks. It will get better after the first few weeks..just be careful. Some guys can talk a good game.

  117. Reach The Beach SB says:

    Lisa – Tomorrow is a new day. Hang in there.

    Beach – I know you have a tough exterior…obviously nobody is making a fool of you.

    sugarsugar – You’re absolutely right. It’s hard to strike the balance…you want to help others, don’t want to sound boastful, but also want to share that you’re not pulling advice out of thin air. Please know most of us have hearts of gold and just want to see everyone have the best shot (or at the very least, stay safe).

    SBsb – Thanks <3

    RC – You’re the first to show us how it’s done :-) Boom chica wah wah!

  118. Kindred Spirit says:

    Michael Alleycat: I am SO jealous you got tickets to go to the finale of American Idol and sit in that enormous, beautiful theater! I’ll be thinking of you when I watch Wednesday night and the cameras scan the cheering audience. Your daughter must be beyond thrilled. :)

  119. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!
    What a day… finally feeling better 😀 YAY me!
    Hope everyone is doing good

    Why is it that SDs lie to your face? It makes me insane!!!!! I think, they think i’m stupid or something
    It’s really pissing me the Fuck off!!! I swear, I am done… Done with these stupid games and fakes, poofers and liars…
    Good luck to all of you!

  120. Clemence says:

    Hi everyone, I’ve been a lurker for a while, but I thought I’d chime in on the unicorns and glitter issue (no one has to agree with me, just trying to offer my thoughts)

    It’s important when you’re looking for a SD to have an ideal allowance range in mind (i.e. an amount that you are comfortable with and that would help you achieve your goals), but it is also important to consider how important it is to you to find a SD within a short period of time and whether you might accept a slightly lower allowance than ideal in the interest getting one at all (a bird in the hand as they say….). Obviously every SB must decide for herself what she is willing to accept and no one should ever compromise if it means accepting less than they are comfortable with, but I would imagine that of those on the blog who are searching for a SD, there are probably those who are willing/financially able to wait as long as it takes to find a SD willing to offer their “ideal” allowance, and those for whom it would be tremendously useful to start getting an allowance soon, even if it is slightly lower than their ideal.

  121. BicoastalSB says:

    RC msb & Midwest SB – Thank you!

    My Sd was introduced to me by a mutual friend of an art gallery. He just treated me like a true gentleman and I really almost never asked for anything because he just did it. I was very green to the whole thing and in hindsight, I don’t even think I really knew it was an SD/SB relationship. I enjoyed his company, exposure to many places and European Art, etc…we are still friend to this day. I’m trying to do my best with reading all the tips and posts to help me along this journey here.

  122. overweight says:

    hey dallas hw long did it take you to lose the 25 pounds on dr natura?
    thank you again for telling me that im so much happier and skinnier now that im doing this colon cleanse !! will do dr natura soon!

  123. overweight says:

    stripper pole is good for house parties/present for bf lol

  124. Dallasbaby says:

    sugarsugar- Plenty of men are generous in so many different ways. Almost all of us have gotten some kind of spoiling. Did you try WYP?

  125. sugarsugar says:

    As for the paranoia, its not so much that I think they are lying. They have plenty of sugar friends here who will vouch for them but so many of us are having no luck whatsoever and its hard to read about the ones whose SDs fall in love with them, give them a great allowance, take them on trips etc. And they appear to have more than one. Not sure why they feel the need to come here and share all those details except for the fact that it feeds their ego. if I were in their shoes I would not feel the need to put it out there and then have my minions come and tell me how I am their queen. Just my opinion. Now its time for a certain someone to stop by and tell me if I don’t like it then I should just not read it. I’m just sayin this because the newbies come here and think they are going to get lucky in a few weeks when in reality for some of us it can take years

  126. RC msb says:

    Put it in the living room, they make great conversation pieces.

  127. Dallasbaby says:

    I got my stripper pole today but I am already bored with it. I twirled a couple of times and turned upside down on it. * yawn *

  128. Sbsb says:

    Midwest- You are a breath of fresh air and very inspiring! Very real and to the point and I really enjoy reading your posts and thank you for that. It gives us hope :)

  129. Midwest SB says:

    “…you put the lime in the coconut…” This song is on the radio and just makes me smile.

    Dallasbaby – Sorry if we mislead. All we’re saying is it can be very effective. Many women will jump at the first opportunity to meet an SD and have ended up in very dangerous situations. We stress it so much because people still choose to ignore this step after seeing it over and over again, then come back upset that the predictable happened. It’s frustrating when you want to protect your sugar family. You’re right that when you’re dealing with people, there is no foolproof method.

    To share the other side:
    SD1 and I were a blog couple. We ended the arrangement (publicly, no less) because his business went under. It was sad to see this happen to him and sad because it was a great arrangement.

    SD2 left me stranded in Las Vegas because his phone died and he could not be stirred when his room phone was ringing off the hook. I got my own room and he got an earful. This was month 3 into the arrangement and several trips later. That was the last trip as I was not going to be in an arrangement with the Absent-minded professor SD. Good note about him was that NYC SB and I got to spend a little time visiting in Vegas. :-)

    SD3 and I were doing well, but we struggled with boundaries. Now his business partner is being an ass, so we ended the arrangement while he works it out. I don’t know if he’ll be back. This, too, was a great arrangement and I honestly hope it resumes. He knows I’m looking, but secretly hopes it will all work out.

    All three were great guys. The second was fun and caring…just too scatterbrained and I traveled a lot with him. They provided a consistent, generous allowance, plus, plus. I found them all here. It’s not trips to foreign lands, cars and apartments, but it was more than most women will find here.

    I responded to 1 in 10 e-mails. Out of 4 dates, I ended up with 3 SDs. I screened relentlessly and it worked for me. Just sayin’.

  130. Dallasbaby says:

    Michael- What I mean by unicorns and rainbows is the post about a relationship being perfect and the lifestyle being perfect for them 100 percent of the time. The ones in reality know that life is not perfect and you do have problems in relationships and the lifestyle. They act as if we might be able to join this candyland if we screen and do all these things you say. When dealing with people in general you just have problems. That is all I am saying.

  131. Anna Molly says:

    Ooops, *happened*

  132. Anna Molly says:

    Hi ya’ll! Well, the rapture hasn’t happend yet! 😀

    Hope all of you are having a great weekend!

  133. Dallasbaby says:

    LOL @ blog god !

  134. Sweet.and.spicy says:

    Never mind I figured it out.

  135. Sweet.and.spicy says:

    Can someone tell me how I am able to let someone view my private photos?

  136. Blog Gods says:

    Your prayers have been answered!

  137. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Whitelilies, Dallas and others re the question “Do you ever get the feeling that some of the posters are here as plants to get us to believe in a fantasy land of glitter and unicorns ? Am I paranoid?”

    If you spend the time reading the blog, you will find that a vast majority of the posters do not say or believe that Sugar is a land of wines and roses, glitter and unicorns. Just about everybody here counsels safety, patience, being careful, continual screening and an abundance of reality. Not everybody ends up in a sugar relationship. For those that do, they can be as problematic as IRL relationships, and can end in a very messy way. BUT when they work well, they are absolutely fantastic, with benefits above and beyond what you could possibly expect! For me, it works well, for now.

    There are a couple of bloggers sometimes on here who live in their own little fantasy world, and they are easy to spot. Just ignore them.

    As to the second question – you are paranoid? I don’t know – what do the little voices in your head say?

  138. Midwest SB says:

    Hellooooooo from purgatory! Kidding :-)

    SBsb – I’ve been on SA since Oct 09 and have had three arrangements out of it. I did very short visits on SD dot com and EM, but neither of those were useful. SA may be full of flakes since their media popularity, but there are more genuine men here than on the other sites IMHO.

    For those of you who feel there are “plants”…remember this. There are some competitive souls in the sugar world who want to be the most successful ones, so they may embellish or flat-out be dishonest. After you’ve been here for a while, you will know the true sbs from the flakes, etc. The ones who are truly successful have muddled through the same nightmares you are in the beginning, but then your screening skills get better, you become more savvy about your approaches and your skin gets thicker. Suddenly, you’re the one having the success. Hang in there.

    Dallasbaby – will do. Can I say that I am absolutely intrigued by your success with twitter and WYP?! Truly.

    Welcome Bicoastal. This world will be much different. I’ve noticed a bit of culture shock for the sbs who had long-term IRL SDs. How did you and your former SD meet? How did he introduce you to sugar?

    Worried – I’m sooooo relieved the first trip went well. Put that self confidence on and be convinced he had a good time. Perhaps send an e-card or something that will remind him about something funny (or sexy) during the visit and to say “Thanks”. As for his drink…what does he order at dinner?

  139. whitelillies says:

    Dallas- “Do you ever get the feeling that some of the posters are here as plants to get us to believe in a fantasy land of glitter and unicorns ? Am I paranoid?”

    Yes yes yes and yes. You are absolutely not paranoid! Plus good advice about the profile changing. And way to turn your lemons into lemonade with a little sugar!

    SD Guru – Good plans, though I’m impressed you have the time/energy to kept three SB’s happy

    sugarizy – That’s awesome you have the opportunity to do that and you do it.

    Question for all you wise sugars on the blog…I’ve recently started e-mailing a pot who sounds awesome, and he’s in my field, so I’d love a mentoring type of relationship. However, I’m worried this might be a little un-NSA, especially if he helps me get jobs, etc. Has anyone had experience with a mentor type of relationship? Good idea, bad idea? Thanks guys, and have a sweet, apocalypse free Saturday!

  140. RC msb says:

    Whew! (Wipes forehead). Good thing too, I have laundry to do today.

    Welcome Bicoastal!

    Morning all!

  141. Michael Alleycat says:

    Looks like the world hasn’t ended yet ….

  142. sugarizy says:

    torontoblondie, Sugar Boy & LASB:

    Thanks for your replies. My issue is that I live in New Zealand so anywhere I want to go (back to Asia, South America, America or Europe) is far far away. I’m moving to Australia for a bit, but I know lots of people there / friends would want to visit frequently. Pretty keen to make the most of my youth and the flexibility this kind of arrangement offers, but I don’t want to be blatantly obvious. People are already really surprised as to how I could have afforded to go to Asia for so long (it was a spur of the moment thing to go). I don’t want my fear of people getting suspicious to get in the way of my travels but then again I don’t want to be caught out.

    Tricky balance!

    I want 30k a month! jeepers.

  143. Dallasbaby says:

    Also, when you look into it more,on the reviews it is also for strippers at clubs , massage girls to find out if they offer more besides massage. Just an all around ADULT review section on anything and everything that they like to toy with. They do like that if you do one thing to stick with that. Like if they want an escort then they do that, but then they might want a sugar baby to mix it up, she needs to be pure and innocent in most cases to help his fantasy. They can play both sides because they ARE THE MAN AND THE BOSS and what they do dont count… ! and at the end of the day… I feel a sugar baby is spending far more time and loving attention with a man and either getting paid more or far less depending on the situation , for the most part doing the same intimacy or more! WYP is getting LOTS of press right now on national tv shows and the debate is the fine line of escorting…..a real escort is to smart to sugar date because it is a waste of her time. Shes already making up to 1,000 a day or more and that is in the 25-30 k a month range.

  144. Dallasbaby says:

    And Sd Guru, I just come here for the blog, but if you do not mind ….I’m kinda here to just blog with the ladies and not get picked apart by you. Can you move on from busting my balls already !

  145. Dallasbaby says:

    They have tons of sugar daddy sites that girls have talked about already that are VERY active !!!!! Hard to keep up……..

  146. Dallasbaby says:

    Paid escort review sites is where they are posting sugar baby profiles, this is why you get the cross traffic and all the strange going ons . In most cases the guys use all sites as a tool and just have different ways of handling girls on all the sites, but they do toy on all sites. I am not saying everyone but you see the lifestyle is such a thin line. if you sit long enough and talk with guys they will end up revealing this information about the review sites. So it is best you google your number often as you can show up. Sugar baby sites is where guys take the most advantage ,but we are more likely to meet free and they do the swinger sites . I found one guy who used the same id on his sugar daddy profile that he used to review escorts ! I confronted him and he laughed it off. He had me meeting free yet turning around and giving money to straight up escorts and writing the full details !

  147. Dallasbaby says:

    sugarsugar – This site is pretty slow , I hardly met anyone on it .

    • SD Guru says:

      they have these huge group of guys who have private paid membership to sites and they post our profile urls.

      Very interesting, please tell us more!! I’m aware there are paid escort review sites. But paid SB review sites?? That’s news to me!!

      This site is pretty slow , I hardly met anyone on it.

      Besides twitter, where have your sugar successes come from?

      guru – out of curiosity, what did you decide in the end with the 3 SB? If i were in this situation, I would choose to help the person whom i like most

      Keep in mind this was a “hypothetical” situation, and what I would do may be different from what others would do. As I said, there is no single path to sugar enlightenment and each sugar should find their own path that works for them. As for helping the one I like the most, it’s already reflected in the arrangement! :)

      SB #1 who is launching a new business and draining cash. Although I’m not well versed in the business area she’s going into, the fundamentals of sound business planning remain the same. Therefore I gave her advice on her business plan and provided some professional services gratis. It wasn’t cash in her hands but it was money saved. For those who suggested that I should invest in her business, I prefer not to mix sugar and business to maintain the NSA boundary.

      SB #2 who said money is tight and needs a little help. This is the first time she has asked for help on top of the arrangement. Since the amount requested was not large so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. But if this turns into a regular occurrence then I’ll need to re-evaluate.

      SB #3 who said she needs help with rent due to an unforeseen event. This is the toughest one because she has a track record of living recklessly and it’s not the first time she has asked for help on top of the arrangement. I decided to help her out one last time but it’s clear that I should move on.

  148. sugarsugar says:

    Dallasbaby wrote:

    “Do you ever get the feeling that some of the posters are here as plants to get us to believe in a fantasy land of glitter and unicorns ? Am I paranoid?”

    **thank you for writing that. I was beginning to think I was the only one who thought that. Seems most of us are having trouble finding one decent SD and some have 2 or 3 at a time or 1 high allowance daddy and then a travel/gift daddy that lasts a few months and then a new one within a week. And the SDs always fall in love with them. What am I doing wrong?

  149. Dallasbaby says:

    They will try to get three things from you. Email, phone number , profile id. Then make a post, so if you notice all these random douche bags trying to pull the same scam then you know something seems off. Chances are they got you so all the other guys roll into to try the same scam !

  150. Dallasbaby says:

    And if they get your number they post that also so a guy might just search your number on the private site so you also have to change your number all the time !

  151. Dallasbaby says:

    Ladies: be sure and dump your profile and start over at times because they have these huge group of guys who have private paid membership to sites and they post our profile urls. So if you upset one guy…. even through email he will put you on blast and all the other guys think its truthful info ! They even tell all the guys what yall did in the sack if you did anything so that others can have a free go at it !

  152. BicoastalSB says:

    Enjoy AI! I have heard so many crazy stories of meetings…I never thought this would be the place for crazy things like those…30 lbs heavier, 20 yrs old picture, 2 wifes, etc…yes, he had 2.

  153. CardsFan SD says:

    @bicoastal. Welcome :-)

  154. CardsFan SD says:

    Arizona weather has been amazing this week. Amazing. Sitting by the pool, enjoying some craft beers, catching up in the blog. Life is good.

    @EnigmaSD – the vast majority of our time is lunch meets where we… Talk a lot. :-). We never have those awkward silences. It’s fun. It helps that I work main job just m-th. So tu/th/fri are our “set” days. We usually hit two of the three. Even today I suggested meeting less if that made her schedule easier, but she enjoys our time and loves the break. All we do is laugh and enjoy each others company.

    @Dallas – you know I love you 😉

    @lasb – awww. :-). I dull my pain by buying fun stuff for others, so it works out. Probably more fun anyway. 😉

    @Cleo. You are the best. Love you!


  155. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    @SBsb – to answer your question:
    ” How long have you been on this site now and who has met a SB or SD thru this site?”

    Met a couple through here. Had a great experience with one last year, until I figured out she was lying about everything…. who knew that a clinical psychologist, with a M Psych could lie so well?

    Met a bunch of flakes. Have built a great friendship with someone I met on here who lives in LA (she is getting American Idol tickets for my daughter and I for this coming Tuesday – woohoo!!), plus a bunch of seriously random people. Did I ever mention Tattoo Girl? Or The Nurse? Or the one who had a series of very “interesting” photos on the web?

    So yes, this site works, but it is such a random, frustrating but very entertaining process!!

  156. worried says:

    @guru – our of curiosity, what did you decide in the end with the 3 SB?

    If i were in this situation, I would choose to help the person whom i like most. :)

  157. BicoastalSB says:

    I just wanted to introduce myself as I just joined this site. I had an arrangement before and it lasted 4 years and was wonderful. He fell in love with me in the end and was still married, but separated. We remain great close friends and he always sends me something for my birthday. Small, but he remembers. I’m hoping to have another great experience and enjoy reading all your posts!!

  158. Dallasbaby says:

    I just got a 400.00 stripper pole bought on amazon. i’m gonna use it to learn some tricks and I hear it is good workout. I just need to figure out where it should go now !

  159. Dallasbaby says:

    You go to amazon . com and you make a wish list where people can buy you gifts and it ships without you having to give anyone your address. You also should not post your last name on it to be extra private as everyone can see your name. Like say your name is Ann mccadams……Put Ann Mc . Anyway if guys are wanting to buy you things they can. Some guys are generous and some are not. But ,for those who are they at least have a way to get you presents.

  160. SBsb says:

    Lasb- No I never received your email either? You might have to mention it to blog gods as I will too

    Blog Gods please give LAsb my email. Thanks

    Dallasbaby- Whats the deal with the amazon wishlist? Would you mind explaining it to me?

    City by the lake- Whats up my friend! I miss Skyping with you as well. That pot SD from Toronto went Poof! A friend and I tried to google him and low and behold there was “NADA” on him. Pretty sure if he is a doctor there would be something right?

    And to everybody else “Hello and I hope you are all doing well”

  161. Dallasbaby says:

    dr natura . com

  162. Beach_Girl says:

    Dallasbaby~ What cleanse are you talking about? if you can’t say here, you can email me

    Blog gods can send Dallasbaby my email 😀 please!

  163. worried says:

    To Enigma SD, Midwest SB, SouthernGent2, RedMaru:

    Thank you all for responding. The trip was just for 2 days, it’s a 3-4 hours drive away. He preferred not hanging out with me in the local because he is married. So, not wanting to be difficult, i did not ask for him to change to a local place as what some of you suggested. Well, because he is working in the day, i only have evenings with him. I have no problem keeping myself entertained when he’s at work but just rather clueless at what to do with him in the evening. I actually had a nice time. But do have to admit that there are some awkward moments.

    @Enigma – I think he doesn’t want to go to a movie with me because during our first meeting, when i mentioned about some movies that i liked, he told me that he doesn’t watch them and so don’t know what i was talking about. And, we didn’t actually establish any common interest, and still not yet! i can’t seems to find any! :-(

    @Midwest – I love the arranging his favourite cocktail for him idea. (but coz i hardly know him i don’t know what he likes!) but am definately on the lookout so i can do it the next time round!

    I hope he actually did enjoy the time with me. I asked him if he did but not sure if he’s saying that out of courtesy or if he really means it.

    Thank you all for your ideas. :)

  164. Sugar Boy says:

    @Dallasbaby- haha i know exactly what you mean, it definitely feels a bit awkward in person! The Pot SD I’m going to europe with, doesn’t talk on the phone much though. Mostly text haha. I’m going to bring it up one night after dinner and a few drinks.. It’s easier to talk to him in person because he finds me insatiable haha 😉

    @LASB thanks! Let’s definitely exchange e-mails! I’d really love that. I need more people to chat about the sugar life with, celebrate with and sometimes vent to.

    @city gal by the lake – I think married SD’s are better if you’re looking for an arrangement. It’s quick and easy, especially if he lives in a different area. I’ve never experienced it before, but if i wanted a casual 2x a month thing than i would.

    chat with you all in a bit!

  165. Dallasbaby says:

    Midwest- This cleanse is the best..No accidents ! Make sure you tape measure yourself so you can tell you lost inches ! Well worth the high price I think. My secret weapon !

  166. LASB says:

    SBsb – I never received your email address. Did you get mine?

    CardsFan – Oh poor baby. I’ll get you a gift off your wishlist. I love it when I get something I wasn’t expecting, even if it’s the smallest thing. It’s just refreshing to receive something other than bills and advertising mailers.

  167. LASB says:

    sugarizy – I don’t usually tell people where I am. It can get tricky, but with email, skype, google voice, a smartphone, a decent house sitter (if only to open up your mail) etc, no one knows the difference. There was a time when only people on the blog knew where I was. And then there was a time when not even people on the blog knew where I was.

    I’d say, keep your mouth shut as much as possible. It sucks to have people rain on your parade, or worse. Figure out what vague but satisfactory answers work for you. “Where have you been?” “Oh, you know, around.” “What have you been up to?” “Just working on myself, catching up on reading/doing taxes/trying to get in shape for summer.” And of course there is the answer a question with a question tactic. :) Make some sugar friends and when you need to discuss a sugar issue or have a sugar celebration to share, they will understand.

  168. LASB says:

    Sugarboy – I love your blog so far! Great list and I can soooo relate! If the blog gods will exchange our emails, I’ll introduce you to a few sugar friends. :) Hello, Blog Gods???

  169. City Gal by the Lake says:

    Hello Sugars…

    Hope everyones having a wonderful Friday…

    I think it’s a bad sign when the blog asks for your name and you pause for a few moments to remember it… ^_^ lol

    SBsb – You know my situation, sweetie… (miss chatting with you on skype)… how are you doing with the potential pot??? any news on that, yet??? (keep me posted)…

    This is for everyone – What are your thoughts on married SDs???

    Thanks & Cheers… ^_^

    (another rainy day here…)

  170. Dallasbaby says:

    And Thank You CardsFan ! * hugs *

  171. Dallasbaby says:

    Sugar Boy- I find it easier to talk about allowance over text or phone call. I get real uncomfortable in person ! I am to nice in person believe it or not!

  172. Sbsb says:

    Sugarboy- Thank you for answering the question sweetie. And Congrats on your shopping adventure:) How fun! And please keep us posted on how it all works out.

  173. Enigma SD says:

    hello all — great to see the blog getting busy again.

    CardsFanSD — I have had several long term sugar relationships and we never really talked about the allowance. I handled it much the same way that you did. It did backfire on me once though when I gave money to a pot SB that was looking for a gift-travel SD…. we never really recovered from that faux pas…. I am amazed that you have time to meet an SB three times a week though… I struggle to find time to meet twice a month.

    Have a great weekend everyone!

  174. Sugar Boy says:

    @sugarizy- I tell my family that i’m going to visit friends etc. I tell my friends that relatives or family friends need a tourguide, have an extra voucher, etc etc (as i’ve traveled a lot through europe on my own).. It get’s a bit tricky with spontaneous trips though.. and i haven’t told anyone what i’ve REALLY been up to, just where i’m going and such in case anything happens.

    @Sbsb- i joined in ’09-’10 but at that point in time i wasn’t actively searching, nor did i ever think about it seriously. I have met 3 SD’s in total off of this site. One last year, 2 within the past 2 months.

  175. Sbsb says:

    Good Morning Sugar world! I hope you are all having an outstanding day so far :)

    Ok I have a question for all you bloggers, Here it goes ” How long have you been on this site now and who has met a SB or SD thru this site?

    Thank you all in advance for answering this question

  176. RedMaru says:

    Afternoon sugars! Its Friday and I’m looking forward to the weekend.
    Thanks for the author sugarizy…I’m going to look that book up.
    Profile is finally final approval mind taking a look everybody?

  177. Sugar Boy says:

    “make sure you have the allowance talk before intimacy starts. No one wants the cow if they get milk free like they say. Otherwise it is harder to get allowance. You end up just more real relationship with presents and meals.”
    @Dallasbaby- Very true, i have somewhat an idea of how i’m going to bring up “the talk” but how would you personally go about it? I don’t want to seem like i’m just after his money, he’s not cheap by any means, but he’s just new to the sugar world.

    @Rcheck- Shopping trip went well! It was our first meeting, so i didn’t go crazy.. I focused more on “hooking him”.. by engaging him in conversation and flirting. It worked, as he kept on saying “How is a guy like you not taken?!” I’ll keep you posted on our 2nd date

    @MidwestSB- Hey! how have you been?

    Also any of you guys have blogs, twitter or such? I have such a hard time logging on and catching up on everyone’s updates.. I want to make more SB ans SD friends, as I really can’t share or talk to anyone in my life about the sugar world yet.

    started a sugarboyconfessions tumblr and going to add it to the SA links once i get more posts, if you want to find me there feel free!

  178. torontoblondie says:

    @Dallasbaby — ohh yess I feel the same, I used to ask for a lot less allowance wise until I saw other girls profiles saying they were getting, 5, 6k a month to see a guy ONCE a week :S Then I found my old SD but I didn’t find him off the site, I find the pot on this site is diminishing. BUTT although I didn’t have sex with my older SD because he was pretty much incompetent! And so so SO demanding of my time, I rather have had sex with him to see him once a week as my time is still precious but he wanted to see me when ever he was free and wanted me to sleep over and ‘cuddle’ ugh made me want to barf, I much rather have a private separate life for these things. So happy I’m free from that drama now!

    @ sugarizy — how about being ‘modest’ on where you are traveling to, let’s say you plan a trip to NY say you are driving to a cottage, although it’s nice to share you don’t need to tell all your friends about your trips or post pictures on FB but you should tell at least one friend so they know where you are at all times etc etc. Most importantly be safe :) :)

  179. Midwest SB says:

    Good morning sugars!

    Dallasbaby – it came!!! I started this morning, but I have to be on a boat for 5 hours later today. Hope it doesn’t backfire!

    WalmartparkinglotSD – Heyyyyyyyy!!!! That was such a funny story! It’s good to know you’re still lurking!

    Guru – You two haven’t met, but you may have crossed paths!

    RC – Can’t touch this! I will now have that song going through my head all day!!!

    Lisa – (((hugs))))

    Beach Girl – I’m buried alive in school work, but I do see the light.

    I feel so much better today! I hate those funks and thanks to those who had kinds words.

    Candyland vs Reality? My life is in reality. Candyland is a matter of perspective and what makes you happy. Some stories are harder to believe, but hey…what’s the difference if I believe them or not? It doesn’t change my life one bit.

  180. cleo says:

    dallas i am minded of a man who enjoyed telling me about his cufflinks and the 700 dollar bottles of wine in his large collection and how much he liked to drink them but still curled his lip when discussing the IDEA of an allowance… cause yeah, allowance is icky but sex with a married guy who drinks more in a week than i’m asking for in allowance isn’t?

    so yeah, finding out that you mean less to them then what they drink with their dinner has a real nasty way of making a girl get “over it” on the spot

  181. Lisa no longer has a family says:

    Good morning and gee thanks Honey, I guess I will just stay home today. You made my day.

    And remember the therapist said I was fine, I don’t need any medicines. God she was an idiot.

    I guess i’ll just keep my loser self in bed, I really shouldn’t be seen in public.
    I was awake half the night thinking what a loser I am and that I have no future, I can’t function like normal people, really i can’t, i’ve tried many times but I always fail.

    It’s time for me to be deleted.

  182. sugarizy says:

    On that note, how do you sugars deal with people being suspicious? I was traveling through Asia and my SD decided to extend my trip for me (he gave me a weekly allowance) this was wonderful and was due to continue so long as we were both happy but as previously mentioned I had to come home. I was wondering how you sugar babies get around telling people? I have told a few of my closet friends about my situation and i’ve had mixed reactions.

    I know my wider circle of friends would look down on it – and I also don’t think it’s absolutely necessarily to tell everyone how I spend my free time. However, if I was to milk the sugar pot and then go off traveling again within a short period of time suspicion/jealousy would be pretty intense.

    I did lose a relative, so I could lie and say I got an inheritance and just go off on my merry way. I’m not big on lying though, so that’s not my first preference.

    Any thoughts? xx

  183. LL says:

    Fabulous Friday to all the sugars today!

    Here’s my thought process on the 10K thang and how it factored into my decision…If he was willing to provide a generous 10K for a certain experience then perhaps he would be just as happy to provide that amount to one of his other sugars but work out a different generous arrangement with myself that I was more comfortable with 😀

    RC MSB – I knew my skin would be safe around you, and not a chance in hell I’d be buzzing off this beautiful long hair 😉 RC Hammer…hahah c’mon I’m sure you got some dance moves you can bust out 😛

  184. sugarizy says:

    Honey, no I didn’t even know you could join groups. I just lent money to one project and repayments start in August. Think I’ll wait until then to make another loan (just to make sure the money comes back to me etc). I might look at joining a group. I only found out about it through a random blog. It’s so awesome though, I love empowering people, I think it’s so much more important than giving handouts.

    Sigh, my life goal is to spend my time empowering people. So many people from different walks I want to help. I’m considering making the most of the sugar when I move to Australia and just going and volunteering for a few years…

  185. CardsFan SD says:

    For what it’s worth, I’ve seen DallasBaby’s Amazon wishlist and she’s 100% accurate.

    My wish list is depressingly ignored in comparison. This makes for a sad CardsFan.


    Side work this morning. Date for lunch. Margarita’s for the weekend. Hrm. I guess 5am is too early to start on the margaritas.

  186. RC MSB says:

    @LL Thanks, your lovely skin is safe around me :)

    “I was actually going to change my handle to LL cool babe ”

    I LIKE IT! ((just don’t shave your head, I assure you that’s skin we don’t want to see). :)

    Furthermore I promise not to change my name to “RC Hammer”. I’d break my hips if I tried to do those dance moves anyway.

  187. Loladelrio says:

    Hey, Honey. I’ve been reading your posts and I must say, I like your attitude and your style. I am new to the SD/SB thing and have never had an SD although I have dated affluent men. Would you be open to sharing any advice for african american prospective sb’s or perhaps taking a novice SB under your wing? It’d be nice to have a friend/ mentor to talk to about this life and learn some do’s and dont’s.

  188. Honey says:

    Hey Sugarizy! Thanks, I love Kiva too, it’s empowering to me to see my little pocketchange help change people’s lives. Have you join any particular kiva group? I’m in the gay,lesbian,transgender,etc. I have some friends in the agnostic,free thinkers and we always try to outdo each other…It’s 2:30 here, so I shall have to catch you later. goodnight

    hang in there everybody, it gets better…

  189. sugarizy says:

    Good post Honey! I’ve recently started with Kiva – It’s such a neat little organisation :)

  190. Honey says:

    oops! wrong button. half-priced bookstore,volunteer at an abused woman’s shelter, Kiva,listen to music, did you know that the library has books, cds and movies to rent? redbox rentals are a buck a throw and they do coupons and free movies and such.
    Everyone and Lisa, who ARE you? Sugarbaby is what you do, not what you are.
    Why would anyone want to hang out with you? Are you smart, funny, gentle, kind….
    what do You bring to the table? If you can’t look at yourself in the mirror nekkid and tell you that you love you,you won’t be able to convince anyone else. Yes living can be tough, but shit IS going to happen, how you respond to it decides…life is what you make it. Luck favors the prepared. Practice looking at the bright side. My two cents.
    Lisa, do you take any medicines for anything? You may have a chemical imbalance…..

  191. Honey says:

    My, everyone has managed to keep the blog busy while I’ve been away…!
    I need to spend some time catching up.
    Lisa, everyone….It’s is your attitude that helps or hurt in many,not all, situations. Lisa, I’m sorry, but you sound like you would not be fun to hang out with. I am not attacking you just telling you are a downer, you may have every right to be. It is no fun being, broke.Draw,write, go to the library, the hal price books

  192. Dallasbaby says:

    Well either way, I sent the info to cardsfan .

  193. SD Guru says:

    If you want I can have cardsfan go look at my amazon and report back to you !

    I’m not saying your stories aren’t real. I’m just pointing out that what’s Candyland vs Reality is a matter of perspective. Just as you think some people’s stories belong in the Candyland group, others may think your stories belong there as well.

    should have nexted him but I confess I was bored and thought what the heck what does it hurt to grab a coffee from the guy and see what he’s really about

    C’mon, don’t tell me the 10k he offered wasn’t a factor in deciding to “drove my butt to the airport on fumes”. 😛

  194. LL says:

    Guru –
    1.) Yes to the idiot today, should have nexted him but I confess I was bored and thought what the heck what does it hurt to grab a coffee from the guy and see what he’s really about (I am much better at analyzing face to face).

    2.) I dream drama, I live with integrity…just thought I’d share my vision for a change of pace 😛

    Margarita – Awe sweetie sorry to hear you got (pardon the pun) screwed over :( The right balance between jaded/worldly/trusting…trust once your side of the arrangement has been met 😉 Easier said than done of course. Keep your head held high, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger!

  195. Dallasbaby says:

    If you want I can have cardsfan go look at my amazon and report back to you !

  196. Dallasbaby says:

    It is like a little group of Candyland people and no matter how much time goes by they always have A plus stories to tell……..So it is like Candyland Group versus Reality Group. Its like no matter what I say Candyland group has to jump in and put a spin on things. My mind knows Candyland is not real and so do all the other reality group of people. Why do they wish so hard for us to join something that you can not join …..because it is not real! :(

  197. SD Guru says:

    I was on the fence whether to meet him or not, his sexual preferences makes him a (extremely)high risk factor

    That was your clue to next him, regardless of what he said he was offering.

    Perhaps I would have started a fake twitter account using her name

    Sounds like you enjoy drama as much as dallasbaby does!! 😉

    Do you ever get the feeling that some of the posters are here as plants to get us to believe in a fantasy land of glitter and unicorns ? Am I paranoid?

    You’re not paranoid. That reminds me of a story about getting thousands of dollars worth of stuff bought by random men from twitter. Or this other story about getting 3k from a WYP date… or the 5k/month platonic SD, or… 😛

  198. margarita says:

    @Dallas — Yep, I’m an idiot.

    @ Beach Girl — That’s the thing…it did feel right. I would have totally dated this dude IRL.


    learning experience, I guess.

  199. LL says:

    RC – As long as your only biting my style and not my silky skin then I have no need this time round to come after you with a whiffle bat and a can of pepper spray. I was actually going to change my handle to LL cool babe – obviously a mockery of LL cool J…perhaps tomorrow I will entertain this thought further 😀

    LASB – Love your pre-warning post, I may have to use this style sometime soon for those who want to jump over my posts. Sounds like we had a similar experience today, a pot SD had a stop over for three hours and asked if we could do a meet and greet (spoke to him a few times before his request came – last minute non the less) so I agreed to meet him. Drove myy butt to the airport on fumes and ended up waiting 1/2 hour…no show so I left. I hate when my time is wasted not only waiting outside for the greet but the time it takes to get yourself ready…totally inconsiderate! I was on the fence whether to meet him or not, his sexual preferences makes him a (extremely)high risk factor….one of his “challenges” (as he calls it) was to meet his 3 friends for a group encounter; I value my life way to much to be caught in a room with 4 men in a sexually aggressive environment….could of used the 10K he was offering tho :'(…not my style.

    Cards – poor you; called to the carpet tonight! You handled yourself very well 😉 I only have one question, are you clone-able? We SB’s could all use a little Cards in our life 😀

    Dallas – Whoa on the married dude. I would’ve taken…let me rephrase…I would’ve dreamed about taking a crowbar the his knee caps if he turned like that. Perhaps I would have started a fake twitter account using her name with maybe an extra character added at the end of the name and joined all the same followers she has and start posting crap as if it was her – joking of course – I’m not generally a vindictive person but c’mon the choice her hubby made to cheat has nothing to do with you, I hate when peeps don’t cast blame at the right source.

    Talk about a busy night blogging!

  200. Beach_Girl says:

    margarita~ don’t be to trusting. You don’t know this or these men. Try and get to know them and before you do anything that you would regret or don’t want to, because there will be an allowance, don’t! You need to be clear from the start about what you want, what you need , etc. The arrangement talk should of happened before. We have all made mistakes, but if it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. Just because he promises an allowance doesn’t mean he will give one. Make sure that what you do , you want to do! trust your instincts and respect yourself.

  201. Beach_Girl says:

    Dallasbaby~ HAHAHHA that is funny… but yeah sometimes it feels that way, doesn’t it?

  202. Beach_Girl says:

    Hey Sugars!!!

    walmart parking log txsd~ Nice to see you again, how have you been? mail me 😀

    Midwest~ What’s up? haven’t talked in a long time!

    LASB~ hey girlie! how are you?

    To All the beautiful Sugars, Hi 😀

  203. Dallasbaby says:

    Do you ever get the feeling that some of the posters are here as plants to get us to believe in a fantasy land of glitter and unicorns ? Am I paranoid?

  204. Dallasbaby says:

    margarita – Are you saying you gave sugar first before any sugar came your way ?

  205. margarita says:

    Thanks, Guru. I’ve read the blog advice/columns. I try to go into every pot SD meeting with optimism and cheer, but I’m feeling really beat down right now. I’d like to know — how do the other SBs on here keep their heads up? I’m beautiful, smart, and accomplished…probably too trusting and hopeful… So what is the right balance of jaded/worldly and trusting?

  206. margarita says:

    Hi, all. This is my second time posting on the blog.

    I just got hit between the eyes by a man I’d thought was very right and was going to work out perfectly. He claimed to have had an SB/SD relationship before, and we met two times to get to know one another before moving on to the “next level” this Tuesday. It was great (for both of us, I think) until he left and didn’t raise our agreement or even allude to it. I’ve been screwed over before and so called him after he left and asked if we needed to “iron things out” on our agreement. He reassured me and then I felt bad that I had broken the mood and made myself seem to be a money grubber. I told myself I’d messed up and have been slightly panicked ever since.

    We made plans to have lunch tomorrow and then I received a text from him tonight saying he’d had dinner with someone else tonight and he thought they had a better connection…but we can still have lunch tomorrow if I want. WTF??? I told him to call me, but he said he couldn’t. Yeah right.

    I am kicking myself for not having played this better, but at the same time — is there ANY decency among Dallas SDs (or in other areas?). I have met WAY too many fakes and flakes in my time on SA.

    I want to cry.


    • SD Guru says:

      Lots of good discussions to get to, sorry for the long post!!

      Gru is just setting up next blog topic. calm down. He does not run three girls.

      Do I know you?? 😀


      I’m sorry to hear about your experience. I’m sure your fellow SB’s will give you plenty of advice on how to avoid flakes in the future.

      Guru – I still want to know, what are the parameters for “deserving?”

      Of course determining what is deserving is very subjective. I’d look at it as which case is the best of use of money.

      I like the thought of you eating dog food out of a dog dish

      It was just a figure of speech, sorry to get your hopes up!! 😉

      can you please enlighten us on what the correct pathway to sugar nirvana is in the situation? WWSDGD?

      Ahh… there is no “correct” pathway to sugar nirvana. Each person will find their own path that works for them. 8)

      Also, how the heck are you keeping up with 3 SBs? That takes some serious compartmentalization!!!

      Who said I only have 3 SB’s? I wouldn’t be a guru otherwise! :mrgreen:

      Don’t be late and don’t blame it on traffic when it’s your fault.

      If I got a dollar every time a pot SB flaked on me because of traffic (or any other made up reason) then I’d be…

      The not so good news is that the process has a way of bringing out my inner dominatrix.

      I thought you’re an outer dominatrix?? 😆 That reminds me I need to finish the story in my blog about a SB who became a dominatrix…

      I just want to set myself up nicely so I can be an even bigger slacker in years to come

      Nice, that’s what I aspire to as well!! I think my month long vacation in the summer would be a good start for being a slacker. :)

      You can not tell me you never got talked into be intimate when you did not feel like it. Happens all the time in the real world and marriages.

      No argument there, but as I said it shouldn’t happen in a NSA sugar arrangement.

      married men can turn on you and do some weird things to prove his love to her and the kids. You can get thrown under the busssssss!

      Some married SD’s can be prone to drama, as can some single SD’s. The type of drama involved may be different but it’s drama nevertheless. The key is to find the right person for a sugar relationship without drama whether he is single or married. However, if you’re the type that enjoy drama then all bets are off!! 😛

      Just because you asked for help, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re irresponsible, or that you have no idea of the value of a dollar. If the SD complies, it also doesn’t mean he’s a carpet which the SB will now take great pleasure in walking on.

      Agreed. But keep in mind that’s how things are “supposed” to work, it doesn’t mean that’s how it will actually work. We’ve all seen too many stories of the flip side to what you described.

      Shouldn’t a married SD do everything possible to persuade his SB NOT to get smitten with him?

      Yes he should. But when it comes to the affairs of the heart, knowing what should be done and actually doing it are very different things.

  207. walmart parking log txsd says:

    Ladies please.
    Gru is just setting up next blog topic. calm down. He does not run three girls.
    Dallas baby and the rest on the band wagon. Yall need to listen to beach. She knows how to do this. You can grab all you want, but at the end of the day you are missing the experiance. It is about getting where you want to be. If you are 22 and seeing a guy 55 and older that is just retarded. There has to be things in common. It is at the end of the day a relationship of sorts. It should be good friends with benifits.
    90 percent will never get it.
    I am a divoced man that IRL and the SB dates. Both have there ups and downs. It is life.

    Beach – met you at chicago meet with Beach and others.

  208. LASB says:

    Midwest – Yeah, right?! It’s a sticking point that I’m still working on. Maybe it will be different with this new pot. (I need a nickname for him, btw.) And I hear ya on living modestly. What I make gets put back into the biz. If that means that all my salon visits are from Groupon, so be it. Really, I just want to set myself up nicely so I can be an even bigger slacker in years to come. :)

  209. Full Package says:

    Dallasbaby & LL- Thanks for the advice. I was thinking that as well. As hard as it is, I have to do it. If all else fails it helps the creative process (I write.)

    I really appreciate that so many amazing people gather and share here. It’s great to know that others share in many of the same issues, and experiences.

  210. Midwest SB says:

    LASB – Goddess…seriously? I’m sure the men would be anxious to do your deeds! As for me, I always get what I ask for :-). It’s just that I live modestly and believe in the long game. Many go at this hard and fast like a game show or something. It’s not how I approach things.

  211. LASB says:

    Midwest – I’m ok in the moxie dept, until it comes time to have the allowance discussion. Then all moxie goes out the window. Like you, I probably settle for less than others. I’m a great negotiator in business, but terrible at it in sugar. You’d think it would translate over, but it hasn’t yet. :(

  212. Dallasbaby says:

    It was kind of an inside joke ….a war between her and I , but it brought all the boys to the yard and I got 1,700 friends ! people said they liked my personality and thought I seemed cool !

  213. Midwest SB says:

    Wow…I had absolutely no idea!

  214. Dallasbaby says:

    People tuned into my drama, but had no idea what it was about ! I never twittered like that before. At first I did random twitter stuff then I go look at her twitter and she would be smarting off crap about every little thing I said…her topics where about my random topics making fun of me. So then I quit looking at hers, yet kept twittering random thoughts and then she would email me out of the blue asking questions about what i posted ……I told her I dont even pay attention to what shes talking about anymore on her twitter after she mentioned she blasted my name out on twitter. I never told her name ! I will say I was busting on her looks like she did mine ! About her hair style or something. She would talk about knowing karate and how shes always prepared and never scared. So I would post on my page ….You got twig arms boo, really ? Just kinda childish stuff but I did twitter bunches . Some people would twitter me how funny I was !

  215. Midwest SB says:

    LASB – I wasn’t disagreeing. I don’t like to see newbies getting taken advantage of by cheap men…but those men are not SDs. That said, my arrangements wouldn’t be good enough for some, so I’m not going to judge. I was quite pleased. I stand by my statement of selling your dream and having some moxie.

    CardsFan – I knew you wouldn’t disappoint!

    Dallasbaby – LASB is right. Be the one who demonstrates class and being above the drama. Right now, you’re just fueling the fire. Just curious…did you have a sugar following on twitter and this came out or did people tune into your drama?

  216. CardsFan SD says:

    Various emergencies have come up — and she’s sharp, she’s always got a way to address, deal with it, so when utility bill needed to be paid, i paid it. when cell phone was cut off due to someone else’s overusage — we got her on her own plan, with a better phone. when her roommate got booted, i covered that portion of rent. on top of the regular stuff i was doing already.

    i let her know *i will take care of you* and she knows it. i never insisted she see me 3x a week, she wants to and we enjoy it. and most of our time is spent out and about, doing stuff, and talking, and it’s a lot of fun. some of our dates have been taking care of these emergencies.

    we just hit it off, and have a great trust and relationship with each other. I think we’d both say we were lucky. i know I would.

    I think I was focused on answering the poster’s question — which is what I looked for/wanted in an SB. However, you all wanted to know what I did for her — which wasn’t really part of the question, but now you know.

    love you all 😉

  217. LASB says:

    Ok, I’ll stop jumping down your throat now. :) You really ARE a white knight!

  218. CardsFan SD says:

    @*everyone* :-)

    I’m sorry, I left that out, and didn’t realize. Working on some stuff for tomorrow, so my attention is horribly split.

    There is no set “allowance”, however, an account is funded on a regular basis from which she can withdraw whatever she needs. In addition, I check in regular and make sure she’s doing ok and has no cash needs, and have taken care of those as they have arisen. I don’t make or wait for her to ask, and broach the subject regular so she never feels awkward.

    So in sum: we work for 3x a week, but generally meet twice, sometimes once, just depends. She has a direct deposited account that’s funded every other week, plus additional funds as needed when I check in and she needs anything, she’s never had to ask. We also shop, I send her gifts from her amazon list, and get her random things she’d like as well.

    Am I missing anything ladies?

  219. Dallasbaby says:

    Funny thing is all my twitter posts then got me gifts from amazon !!! It all worked out in the end !

  220. LASB says:

    Dallas – You know better. Don’t give it air. Just let him have the last word. His words are a reflection on him and not you. Maybe it stings, but it’s not worth your energy.

  221. Dallasbaby says:

    Point is, expect to get caught and watch out for the huge shit storm when the wife comes after you and will abuse you real bad . She has been going at me for 4 months straight, at first I just avoided her but she kept picking and picking at me ! I posted one of the nasty emails here before about it. Like my momma always says: what you do in the dark will soon come to light.

  222. LASB says:

    Jessie – I was actually agreeing with you. And yes, I know that heartache first hand.

    Midwest – I’m not trying to jump down Cards’ throat and I certainly haven’t forgotten that he was a white knight on this blog not too long ago. I just wanted to present another side. He insinuated the exact opposite as you did to sweet.and.spicy. To recap, Cards told Sweet that she should be like his SB. His SB never asks for anything, and in particular, they never discuss amounts, but sometimes he lets her pick a few things out at the store, and to him that’s perfect. Please correct me if I misunderstood somewhere.

    I have no problem if that’s his ideal relationship and that that’s what they have agreed upon. But was poking at the notion that she may be too shy to present the whole story. Ok, yes, that’s between them. However, I don’t like him telling a newbie SB that if she wants a SD, she should be like just like his. I just disagree that to be successful in the sugarbowl, SBs should not ask for anything and let the guy take the lead, even if that means seeing him 3xs a week sans allowance, particularly when there’s a ceiling to the relationship (also known as marriage.) And I know you agree with that, since you said yourself, “I do agree that gifts are wonderful, but they won’t help me achieve my long-term goals” and “Honestly, if you can’t sell your dream….if you can’t ask for what you “need”….then you don’t “need” it badly enough. This is a tough lifestyle sometimes. The sooner you get some moxie and believe in yourself, the better.”

    Again, to each his own, but I do feel that there are more than one side to that story. And yes, I know, perhaps it just hits too close to home for me to present an unbiased view. I am also aware that I am ridiculously snarky today b/c I’ve been negotiating with middle-aged men all month who have a tough time understanding that despite my perky, friendly demeanor and casual attire, I’m not a wet behind the ears, barely legal newbie who’s going to let myself get screwed over. The good news is that I am learning how passive refusal in the midst of tight deadlines is a very useful tool in negotiation. The not so good news is that the process has a way of bringing out my inner dominatrix.

  223. Dallasbaby says:

    Married Sd recent email…and I did not twitter her name just my feelings, because she was reading it and replied on her twitter ! :

    I find all of this back and forth tedious and pointless. You are calling me a liar and I am calling you a liar. Or perhaps you are delusional. And for you to say that you lost count of how many times is laughable. I have the records of all of the emails and texts showing each time that I came over and it was four times.

    I wish I could go back in time and do things differently. I don’t deserve to have Tammy as a wife She deserves better . You say you don’t know how to fix this…There is nothing to fix. Tammy and I are very happy together. The best thing you can do is go on with your life. no love on this end. You were just a lunch time break for me. And the incessant posting on twitter about her is despicable and to be honest, is making you look bad. Do you think your followers think your something special when you spend all of your time obsessing about someone else?

    In short, this has all become a distraction and we have better things to do in our lives than bickering with you. This will be the last you ever hear from me and I am asking Tammy to stop communicating with you as well.

    And I’m not mad and you shouldn’t be mad either. Like the saying goes…Don’t go away mad, just go away.

    No need to reply, I’m blocking your email and moving on with my life. You will be nothing more than a distant memory.

  224. Dallasbaby says:

    I dated a married SD and when the wife found out they wrote me a nasty email together from his email account calling me all kinds of dirty whore that I was used as a fling while they sat back laughing at me the whole time. LIES OF COURSE…. So, married men can turn on you and do some weird things to prove his love to her and the kids. You can get thrown under the busssssss !

  225. Midwest SB says:

    Rcheck and LASB – Thank you <3 I will the universe to pick on someone it's own size!

  226. Jessie says:

    LASB – I hear ya. But when you spend that much time with a SD and it starts to feel like GF/BF, and he’s already married can you fathom the heartache when this relationship ends? One more reason why the lines of NSA should be clearly drawn and no tiptoeing or rubbing out the line when the SD is married.

  227. Midwest SB says:

    Eeeeaaassssyyyyy there ladies. CardsFan and his SB have been together a while, and this is what they both agreed upon. Perhaps he prefers to be a gift daddy and prefers the less transactional nature of the arrangement. Allowances are not for every SD.

    I do agree that gifts are wonderful, but they won’t help me achieve my long-term goals. I also know that if I want something, I have to share the dream, be inspiring and help him realize that I’m committed to the goal. Things aren’t as they were right now, so an allowance is even more necessary, but I will land on my feet. Don’t blame the SD if she isn’t letting him know what she needs. On the flip side, I’ve heard the most generous gentlemen tend to be the gift daddies. I guess it’s a matter of priorities.

    Honestly, if you can’t sell your dream….if you can’t ask for what you “need”….then you don’t “need” it badly enough. This is a tough lifestyle sometimes. The sooner you get some moxie and believe in yourself, the better.

    I know Guru isn’t petty, but I do see the father in him coming out. I agree with Jessie, that sometimes a little extra is needed without the lecture, etc. You can plan all you want, and still end up in a tight spot. Trust me, I know.

  228. Dallasbaby says:

    RC formally Rcheck – I do not know any guy that has not tried to force intimacy at one point or another. Nobody is going to be on the same page ALL the time ! But also, I could give off those signals because I often wear small outfits that might get guys to thinking all kinds of wrong.

  229. Sweet.and.spicy says:

    @ Cards thank you for the advice and insight. I am not trying to toot my own horn but my personality is pretty laid back and positive. So I will keep being myself in the hopes that I can find a SD that wants more than a super model. (Exp. good conversations, insight, affection and the chance to change a youngsters life with mentoring)

    On another note, I do agree with the other SBs about allowances. I wouldn’t ask for anything super crazy but being able to pay the bills is important.

  230. Dallasbaby says:

    Cards: If you where dating my momma I would have to get up in your biz and say: what the hell are you doing with my momma three days a week and not giving her big sugar? I’m teasing you boo !

  231. RC formally Rcheck says:

    @Dallasbaby – I’m sorry if I touched a nerve. I swear that was not my intention. It has been against the law for me to marry as I might wish for most of my life. So no, I have never been married myself and have no experience with it. I’m sorry that you had a bad experience with yours. I have only had a small number of relationships in my life but they have all been pleasant ones.

    Again, I’m truly sorry if I upset you, miles from my intent.

  232. LASB says:

    Jessie – Nothing like the school of hard knocks to teach you how NOT to get manipulated by charming men. I would have loved to have a mentor for that one in my earlier years.

  233. LASB says:

    Guru – Since you are the self-proclaimed all-knowing guru, and we have presented our perspective on your issue, can you please enlighten us on what the correct pathway to sugar nirvana is in the situation? WWSDGD? 😉 Also, how the heck are you keeping up with 3 SBs? That takes some serious compartmentalization!!!

  234. Dallasbaby says:

    I’m a rocker type chic in real life, but my sugar life never sees that part of me. I try to play coy…..lol !

  235. Jessie says:

    I also want to ask a question. Shouldn’t a married SD do everything possible to persuade his SB NOT to get smitten with him? Yeah, I know that the SB also has control of her feelings, but when you’re dating a man 25-30 years older, I feel like that should be a part of his mentoring…helping you to make wise, sound decisions.

  236. LASB says:

    Cards – I mean, wouldn’t it suck if your SB felt like this: “…seeing I don’t like asking for things etc I think this relationship might end soon, I get bitter pretty easily and disappear rather then talk about my feelings.” — TorontoBlondie

    I hope your SB doesn’t come knocking on this blog asking us for advice.

  237. Dallasbaby says:

    It was a real fast closed mouth kiss…do not get excited ! …..lol !

  238. LASB says:

    Dallasbaby – LMAO!!!!! I sooo can’t imagine you doing that. Shoot, you are all bark on this blog, and now you confess to a geriatric make out session for $200? Sorry, but I can’t help but poke fun at you. And yeah, ok, I am laughing with you rather than at you. We’ve all been there. lol!

  239. Dallasbaby says:

    Oh yes and I acted super excited to get 200.00 on my second date with a 60 year old from WYP and kissed his face, but really I was like WTF ???

  240. Dallasbaby says:

    I am confused as to why she wants to run around 3 times a week with no set allowance with a married man too ! Sounds like you owe her bigtime at this point. Are you just going to keep it going ? Like my friend says: A closed mouth will not get fed !

  241. Jessie says:

    I’m wayyy too slow. But I see we’re all thinking almost the same thing :)

  242. Jessie says:

    @Cards – I think you’re lucky that your SB didn’t come to the blog and asked for advise. You’ve said before that you see each other 3 times a week when/if your schedule allows; and now, unless I’m reading you incorrectly, you haven’t discussed or agreed upon a set allowance. I don’t think even one of us would have told her that it’s a good idea to meet a SD without discussing an allowance at some point in time…and as Dallas like to remind us, that would be before becoming intimate… Of course, if all she wanted is a gift or travel SD I guess it’s okay. I still can’t wrap my mind around the frequency of the meets. Again, I think she’s an exceptional SB.

  243. Dallasbaby says:

    CardsFan – I am thinking the same as LASB, in person we get shy to our real needs and just hope you do the right thing because we in most cases need allowance not presents. Money pays the bills ! We all worry about bills.

  244. LASB says:

    CardsFanSD – So does that mean that you have not presented her with an allowance? If not, I’m curious, did her profile have a stated amount or was it “amount negotiable?” Do you ever wonder if she’d rather have you just slip her some extra funds rather than pick stuff out at the store that falls more under the wants category than the needs category? And that maybe she’s too shy to ask because she’s so smitten with you? I think that’s a tough one for us SBs. I mean, read Toronto’s post from today. I think that happens a lot and then we battle with “ok, now should I ask him? but things are going well and I don’t want to rock the boat. Will I sound greedy? But an allowance would really help. etc.”

  245. CardsFan SD says:

    @sweet – more than anything, she is great company and great conversation. the chemistry is perfect, and we just have *fun*. I plan our time and she is always up for anything. her refreshing attitude makes it easy, she’s always positive, no negativity, no whining, no high maintenance. because she has such a great personality, then doing things for her is *fun*. Whether it’s a gift, or shopping, or anything, she shows genuine delight. which makes me want to do more. smart! and, i never feel like she’s “taking advantage” of my generosity. We’ve never discussed “amounts”, but when we’ve gone somewhere and i’ve said “pick out stuff” — she’s been wonderfully modest about it.

    there’s a genuine sweetness in the relationship, and because of that, it just *works*. without having to discuss figures or amounts. probably not the norm. but what is normal. it feels much more like dating than anything else.

    so my advice? be like that. 😉

  246. Dallasbaby says:

    Go LASB !!!!

  247. sugarizy says:

    A Thousand Splendid Suns is by Khaled Hosseini. He wrote the Kite Runner as well, although I prefer ATSS. It’s about two girls growing up in Afghanistan. It’s such an amazing, yet painful, book. It made me feel really lucky to have options in my life even if they seem out of reach. Highly recommend it.

    Lisa; things wont get better for you until you make them happen. You can sit there listing off all the challenges in your life, and I can see there are a lot. Or you can make small changes to make things a bit better each day.

  248. Dallasbaby says:

    Having a husband was a huge chore !!!!! Times when you just do not feel like being intimate, but a man says he has needs ! I know many people want to pull the wool over our eyes. You can not tell me you never got talked into be intimate when you did not feel like it. Happens all the time in the real world and marriages.

  249. Jessie says:

    @Guru – In that case…Although the sugar relationship should be NSA, one of the benefits is having someone who “has your back.” If the SB doesn’t ask for additional help every month, and the relationship is as it should be…drama free, fun, mutually beneficial; refusing to give her help the first or only time she asks, providing that it’s necessary, does suggest that it’s merely a business arrangement. While this is true, in a sense, do you really feel the same way about her that you do your receptionist?

    If you refuse to compromise when a problem comes up, and just hold hard and fast to giving an allowance only, without ever making any adjustments, can you truly say this is a relationship that is beneficial, that you’re her mentor and have her well-being at heart? What is wrong with giving a little extra spoiling every now and then, without it coming with a lecture or a lesson on budgeting?

    Just because you asked for help, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re irresponsible, or that you have no idea of the value of a dollar. If the SD complies, it also doesn’t mean he’s a carpet which the SB will now take great pleasure in walking on.

  250. Sweet.and.spicy says:

    I’m bummed that I missed all of the action today!! (I was in class most of the day)

    This one goes to the guys!

    What do you enjoy most about having a SB? My second question is, what advice could you give a woman seeking to become a SB?

  251. LASB says:

    RC – It’s different on your side of the bowl! No, not offended.

  252. RC formally Rcheck says:

    @LL – Yes I stole your idea and shortened my handle to something a bit simpler. I hope you don’t mind, and if you do mind I hope you don’t come after me with a whiffle bat and a can of pepper spray, cause I hate when that happens.

    @Lisa – Sorry you had a crummy day. Hoping for the best for you as always.

    @SD Guru – Excellent and thought provoking question as usual.

    @SBsb – I’m doing well, thanks for asking. Business has been booming lately which is good, but it does tucker me out some. I am hoping that your new profile will bury you in sugar soon.

    @Dallas baby – I’m not sure if I’m lucky or things are different on my side of the sugar bowl, but I’ve never been in a relationship where ‘anything’ was a chore. I wouldn’t stay in one if it was.

    @ Midwest SB – I’m sure you will resolve your issues with skill and class, just like you do everything else.

    And welcome to all the new sugars and returning sweeties.

    If I didn’t mention your name don’t be offended, I’m sure I’ll get to you eventually or maybe sooner.

  253. Dallasbaby says:

    And i’m jealous that he will get 10 k or more a date !

  254. LASB says:

    Ok, I should have refreshed before posting. Oh wellsssss.

    Dallas – Funny story. It almost sounds like the charity is his daughter and he’s generating money to help her pay her rehab bills.

  255. LASB says:

    Lisa and Midwest – I hope you feel better soon. Just remember, tomorrow is a new day!

    DallasBaby – I always enjoy reading what you have to say! Keep it coming!

    Guru – I still want to know, what are the parameters for “deserving?” Also, for the one who needs the money for her business, that one seems easier. If you believe in her business and her competency, maybe treat the money like a business transaction. Buy some shares, make a low interest loan, come up with some agreement that is a win-win, and not one where you feel used and abused. The one who has the unforseen event… well, are things otherwise good? Do you see this as an ongoing issue? Do you think the relationship has longevity? What about an advance on part of her allowance? And maybe be clear with her that it’s a one time bailout, and that she has to promise to never ask you again. Now for the one where things are tight, I think just let her experience what life is when not everything goes your way all the time, when you want it to. I don’t know the whole story, but the way you present it, it sounds flaky.

    I agree with Dallas that a good/real SD shouldn’t be cheap/petty/manipulative, esp when their SB needs help. On the other hand, having met you IRL (yay me for winning!) I know you are far from any of those things. And yes, I like the thought of you eating dog food out of a dog dish, (Koolaid seems too vanilla) so as Michael reminded you I will reiterate, “Don’t reward bad behavior!” Also, “Don’t ignore the warning signs,” “Don’t expect someone’s behavior to change over time,” and “Don’t let her problem become yours.” Jus’ sayin’

  256. Dallasbaby says:

    How much would you pay for a date with Michael Lohan?

    For the princely sum of $10,000, Lindsay’s father will wine you and dine you – with the firm promise that he won’t “kiss and tell.”

    The Celebrity Rehab alum has agreed to accept a lifetime membership to the dating website WhatsYourPrice.com, which specializes in members offering money to go on a first date.

    Lohan’s joining doesn’t come without some high-class demands though.

    the Lohan low lowdown:

    – $10,000 minimum first date offer

    – First class airfare if he has to travel out of state for the date

    – Four star hotel accommodations or better

    But, will there be hanky panky?

    “Let me ask you,” the 50-year-old Lohan said, “What happens on a dinner date? I don’t kiss and tell.”

    According to Lohan, the deal hasn’t been inked yet but once it’s finalized he wants to donate his dating dollars to a cause he’s passionate about.

    “I’m willing to do this in order to donate the money to a rehab and recovery program or programs,” Lohan told RadarOnline.

    “Dinner usually costs between $200 and $500. Why not get paid for it and have it go to a good cause?”

    How much would you pay for dinner with Michael Lohan?

  257. Lisa without a family says:

    Oh and I just went out to the track to take my walk (walking helps me with my stress) but i’m so tired achy I only walked one lap instead of 4. I can’t even enjoy that anymore.

    ok i’m going to call it an evening. Going to take a bath and get in bed. I’m off tomorrow so i’ll be able to rest, have no where to do.

    Good night

    • SD Guru says:

      I think the reason some sugar babies might ask for more is honestly: they feel that having sex with you is a bit of a chore and feel they secretly deserve more for the effort. Reality check boys!

      I’m sure that could be the case for some SD/SB’s. But as many others have said before, an arrangement should be built on trust and open communication. If a SB feels it’s a chore to have sex with her SD then she should re-evaluate whether she’s in an arrangement for the right reasons. And if she secretly feels she deserves more for whatever reason then she should communicate with her SD and come to a mutually agreeable solution.

      Say you are begging your sugar baby for sex and shes says: honey, don’t look to me to help you out, lets give it a month and see how you feel then. Things might get better then. Seriously boys?

      That’s an interesting perspective. I would not be in a sugar arrangement where begging for sex (or anything else) is necessary. But I understand how some people can get themselves in that kind of situation.

      Guru – I’m curious. Are you having problems making a decision because it’s more than one SB?

      I should clarify that I’m not having problems making a decision regarding the hypothetical situation. I’m interested in finding out how other SD/SB’s would approach the situation and their thought process behind it.

  258. Lisa without a family says:

    Dallasbaby i’m too much fo a law abiding citizen to get in jail, honest to the bone. And I checked about treatment at a place not far from me but at 2 or 3k a day, that isn’t do-able

    LL My family was totally disfunctional, Add my mom and daughter’s deep religious beliefs, and the fire is fuled. back 6 years ago when I got robbed at gunpoint, I called my family, they didn’t even answer the phone and the next day my daughter wrote a very nasty message to me on Myspace, saying I deserved what happened to me. They are still mad at me for getting out on my own at age 39 and standing on my own feet for the first time. Daughter even refused to live with me because the whole family was supposed to live together forever. I went from home to marraige,and back home again and then finally got my motivation to move out.
    My dad was abusive to my mom, used to threaten to kill her and beat her all the time (I never seen this because she left him when I was 3 and he was always loving and good father to me) My stepdad (who died this past christmas day) was kind and with not a bone of anger in his body, but he was not my blood relative. You would not believe how my mom talked to him days before his death. The night before he died, he was laying on the couch, she propped him up and said “damn it, I married you for companionship, pay attention to me) and she nor my daughter accompanied him in the ambulance when he was 16 hours away from dying. I walked to the hospital emergency room and they told me he checked himself in.

    I come from bad stock, simple as that. I serve no purpose and can’t be fixed.

  259. Jessie says:

    Guru – I’m curious. Are you having problems making a decision because it’s more than one SB?

  260. LL says:

    Lisa nice to hear from you today, I was wondering where you were hiding! I got a good plan, I’ll go to my doc and get some happy pills and ship’em out your way…wait drugs aren’t covered under the public health care..scratch that…to bad I coulda used some myself 😉

    Anxiety and depression obviously run in the family which speaks volumes, I’m not lying when I say I admire that you own up to it…many people don’t or pretend to blame it on “a bad day”.

    Sorry you had yet another shitty day, where’s my magic wand when i need it? 😉

  261. Dallasbaby says:

    Lisa, sounds like your choices left are not good ones.

    Jail: so you get food and shelter
    Mental hospital – for food , shelter and depression help.
    Homeless shelter: :(

  262. Lisa without a family says:

    Good evening everyone. back from a very tiring day at work.
    Thanks to everyone for their advice. As far as reading, I haven’t read a book since high school and have never been able to concentrate long enough to get into it.
    It seems when i’m home or away from the hell that is my job, I cry alot and feel sad. I’m not much to anger in my free time, I just get upset and sad. Whereas at work I have lots of rage and have difficulty keeping it only control. Today I got upset several times. The cashier supervisor kept calling me up to help check, I was on the receiving deck in the rear of the store, unloading my 35 cases of costmetics and mis items. I had to run up there several times and I lost it and told him about my bad leg and then I lost my patience with the self check cashier who was too busy talking to some guy that she wouldn’t clear the scanner, I kept pusing the help button, she never responded so I left my lunch sitting there. she later asked me if i’d left my food there. I’m required to give good customer service and I expect it from my coworkers when i’m the customer.

    Any I don’t see any solution to this rage I have, i’ve had it since I was a child. The recent mandatory therapy I took did nothing, no medications were even prescribed. phychologist reported back that there was nothing wrong with me, i was just a perfectionist wiht anxiety attacks. I have come so close to just walking out of that place, I just can’t think straight when i’m there and it’s not something I can control. I don’t know how long i’m going to survive in this. It’s been going on for decades, not something that positive thoughts can cure. Then again I have several relatives (all deceased now because of age) 2 aunts that had mental issues, an uncle, my dad was an alcoholic and very abusive (I don’t drink but I see my rage and anger mirroring his even though I never witnessed it because he and mom separated when i was 3. My mom has is a religious fanatic full of hate (she things any woman who has sex outside of marriage deserves to be killed and she laughs when she sees things on the news where a woman was killed by her boyfried or lover). So I don’t think it’s somthing that can just be eliminated through postive thoughts. I’ve tried that but when faced with certain issues, I can’t help but lose my temper.

    My home life is peaceful, just sad, and alone, when I walk into work, my stress turns on and i’m not there anytime till everything starts going wrong. Today my coworker let me do all the heavy lifting unloading the truck while she worked on the stuff that was already brought out in the department. I am a drug department clerk, not a truck unloaded but since we no longer has a guy working with us, they’ve given me that job. Keep in mind my coworkers are 20 and 22, and i’m 45 with a bad back and leg.

    Anyway I am so tired now, I can’t do anything but just sit here.
    Have a good evening everyone

  263. CardsFan SD says:

    There’s a lot of flakes out there on both sides. But I do particularly despise someone who takes advantage of someone in need. Having money doesn’t justify that.

  264. Dallasbaby says:

    You do not count cardsfan…you are a good guy, but some others are sure questionable !

  265. CardsFan SD says:


    Well, I wasn’t referring to sugar dating in general, and…

    In a sugar relationship, I’d never make anyone beg for anything. That’s not a relationship. That’s a power trip.

  266. LL says:

    Full package – I agree with Dallas, do nothing.

    I was recently involved with a married gentlemen and part of my choice to get involve was knowing that I was only one private aspect of his life and at the end of our days together he would always be returning home to his family. Do I love who the man is, absolutely, but do I own a right, absolutely not; it was what I knew going into the relationship.

    I can understand the hurt/worry you carry and I’m sure your gentleman recognizes this too and carry similar emotions but you must remain respective and silent.

    I wouldn’t feel to bad about starting to look at new possibilities, if your gentlement would want you to move on then do so (after-all he has his wife too right); if at some point in the future you two are able to reconnect then there isn’t anything from stopping you to do so :)

    Hope this helps

  267. Dallasbaby says:

    And on a side note: if you do not have sex with these guys that is when you get the most, it is when you give yourself to him that he then IN MOST CASES..lowers your value and ready to move on at any second. All the sugar baby books claim no sex is the way to get most. As you can see from these guys that doing sex does not get you any brownie points other than getting laughed at for needing extra help. They find more value in paper dollars than helping a female human who is so down and out already they have to reach out to perfect strangers online.

  268. Dallasbaby says:

    Then Cardsfan she is taking care of you and should not have to beg for money in return. It just means her needs are not met like yours are and fair is fair.

  269. Dallasbaby says:

    Do you often wonder if say your mother or daughter got into sugar dating…would you be thinking ” she better get a million dollars in order to do that and even then you may not be ok with it at all because it can be degrading. I think a girl should get paid big. Many girls will not say what they seek upfront, just like if a sugar daddy told me what he was looking for bluntly, then that would be a turn off too. One guy said he wants sex so many times a month and threesomes 3 times a month….Of course you gotta NEXT that ! Girls get into the lifestyle for life changing things not just to get by, be in poverty still. What would be the point in that? My WYP guy that I went on two dates with said he can only afford 1,000. That does not even pay my rent and has me still in poverty. He is not the type I would be with IRL. Not looking to lower myself for poverty at the end of the day and be with a 60 year old.

  270. CardsFan SD says:

    Say you are begging your sugar baby for sex and shes says: honey, don’t look to me to help you out, lets give it a month and see how you feel then. Things might get better then. Seriously boys?

    This one was hard to wrap my brain around, as I’ve never had to beg for it. 😉

  271. LL (formerly Logicalady ;) ) says:

    sorry about the typos…to lazy to spell check today 😀

  272. LL (formerly Logicalady ;) ) says:

    Midwest – I always love your posts too 9as I hae said about many others), and I agree whole heartedy with your perspective..pretty much anyone who posts about positive thinking I’ll agree with 😉 Keep smiling hard times will pass, as they say life always goes on, and this is what brings me through my troubling times…and there are many of those over the last year let me tall ya!

    Here are a few key points from my year in review now that we talkin abt sharing info…lost my job, which after that month the gov said I was making too much money to receive the much needed tax credits, two major illness in the fam, 2 deaths in the fam, car insurance sky rocketed due to a car accident which occurred from having to run out and grab the “bleepin” bosses lunch, dad was diagnosed with rare and terminal cancer…which he must come and stay with me every other week to make it to his hospital visits (absolutely none of the treatments have worked) since our stupid country seems to think only the major cities should have the facilities to treat the number one killer of human kind, EI didn’t pay me for 8 months due to gov’t employees not knowing how to do their job, no sight of child support to be found, racking up 20K in borrowed funds which needs to be paid back…I’m sure there is more. There were so many days I couldn’t even fathom getting out of bed and taking another breath; the time the killed me the most was when the whole fam got to go on one last vacation with dad but I couldn’t because I had no money and nobody would front the freakin bill for me.

    The power to release the negativity in the mind was what allowed me to find a new perspective and new opportunities along the way…there was just to much congestion and cloudiness.

    So when I give my point of view, it always comes from the heart and I will always recognize others who spew about it too!

    Take it or leave it, it’s just what it is 😀


    Look at you Dallas stirring the pot today! Got to keep my eye’s on the blog tonight to see how the discussion evolves…SD’s aganst SB’s, let the battle begin 😉

  273. Dallasbaby says:

    Full Package – If he has a wife then you can do nothing.

  274. Full Package says:

    Hey all,
    So I was looking for some advice from people who may have experienced the type of situation I am in. I have been with one fellow for a year and a half, and it has been a blessing. He’s my friend, lover as well as SD. In short, he is great. He lives across the country from me, so most of our relationship is done via email and pins daily. A couple of weeks ago he was in a very serious accident, which I discovered after he went MIA (which is not like him so I was worried.) I have found out via a social networking site. He suffered a brain injury and although he is awake the prognosis is not clear yet.

    I want to be there for him but do not want to blow his cover (he is married.) My question is how does one deal with this type of situation? I am trying to be positive and I do get updates, and they seem positive. I am terrified in one regard because it has made me realize how deeply I care for him, and how I don’t really have an actual place in his life. Not to mention that he could have died.

    Has anyone been in a situation like this? How does one deal?

    I have started talking to other people because it is a good way to occupy my time. I still feel a tad disloyal though, despite knowing he never wanted to hold me back from anything..

  275. Dallasbaby says:

    *his cash*

  276. Dallasbaby says:

    That awkward moment: when you realize a sugar daddy thinks is cash is more important than you.

  277. Dallasbaby says:

    Say you are begging your sugar baby for sex and shes says: honey, don’t look to me to help you out, lets give it a month and see how you feel then. Things might get better then. Seriously boys?

  278. Midwest SB says:

    Heyyyyy sugars!

    Nice to see your challenging questions back Guru! Always stirring the pot a bit. What have you decided to do with your bevy of beauties?

    Lily – Yes

    LL & Sugarizy – Perspective is a wonderful tool. One of my favorite quotes is “…a lump in your oatmeal, a lump in your throat and a lump in your breast are not all the same lump….you must ask yourself is it a problem or an inconvenience? Sometimes we (myself included) get into that mire where EVERYTHING seems like it’s a huge problem. We’re overwhelmed and don’t know which was is up. If, somehow, clarity comes long enough to be able put things into perspective and address the issues accordingly, we come out of it. Sometimes it’s easy. Most times it’s draining and depressing. I’ve been in a funk lately as I keep getting blind-sided by pretty big issues. They’re going to be resolved one way or another…I’m still not sure how yet. I’m fighting not to slip into that dark place where hope gets stripped away. My resolve won’t let me. Meanwhile, I try not to give unsolicited advice. I will share my experience and I will answer direct questions. The rest is up to the recipient. Caring about the outcome is good, but there will always be things beyond our control.

    Torontoblondie – Guru and LL make good points. What now? What would you do differently next time?

  279. Sbsb says:

    OOOOH ! This is getting interesting ! hehe

  280. Dallasbaby says:

    I doubt they will say they wanna only do hj’s, so do not ask for more or you are greedy sugar daddy.

  281. CardsFan SD says:

    Sounds like they should’ve negotiated that up front….

  282. Dallasbaby says:

    I think the reason some sugar babies might ask for more is honestly: they feel that having sex with you is a bit of a chore and feel they secretly deserve more for the effort. Reality check boys !

  283. LL (formerly Logicalady ;) ) says:

    Good afternoon sweetners!

    Guru – You know your SB’s best, are they sincere women or do you need to question if this could become a trend? If it were my hypothetical situation I would probably assist the one who I felt has the most sincerest motives first and the other two I would give them a portion of what they are asking and let them know that life is about choices and that sometimes to make ends meet they may have to short pay on some of their financial obligations. This would demonstrate that I care enough to recognize they are in a tight spot but also that I am no pushover for batting eyelashes 😉

    Sugarizy – I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE the post today! We have very similar outlooks sweetheart…here’s me sending a kiss you way!

    Torontoblondie – You are too cute…I never know what way your brain is thinking when it comes to the sugarland and you always surprise me with your updates haha. Girl bite the bullet and ask for what you want/expect/deserve 😀

    Rcheck – If there were no hypothetical questions there would be no progression 😉

    Sugarboy – sounds like your having fun in sugarland!!!

    Fancy face – Don’t worry about what COULD have been, think about what WILL be 😀

    Cards – Great job at holding down the sugarlife, somedays I wonder if there’s any SD’s that can make it to the bargaining table with a serious arrangement offer.

    Beach girl – those would be my questions before committing an extra dollar to any of the SB’s too if I needed to question their true motives.

    RedMuru – Here ya on the joke daddies

    Michael Alleycat – I don’t want to keep leave you out of my post so I will just say…Hi!

    Whew, I think I covered most everyone in this posting 😀

  284. CardsFan SD says:


    My answer doesn’t change much. If they have no fiscal responsibility or planning skills, and are mentoring-proof, then to me, it becomes a “bad investment”. What do they say? Don’t throw good money after bad?

    And, again — is this a pattern? If they’re in crises mode always (rent, etc) — money isn’t going to help them learn to manage their crisis. Someone can always bail them out. But when someone doesn’t? Then they learn.

    I’ll help once, if I’m comfortable they have a plan, can work through it, etcetera. But I’m not the lifeline. All that’s primarily regarding RentCrisis SB. Business SB — can they wait a month? I’d put them off if possible. ShortOnCash SB — is it critical? Need vs Want? I’d break the bank if the stars lined up right, no problem. I’d consider the business SB an investment if terms were agreed upon, and that might sway when I went that route.

  285. CardsFan SD says:

    Well, with Michael’s input, I would like to adjust my response to a qualified D:

    I always lean towards D, that’s just me, with the following kept in mind:

    They need to have a plan. Whatever the ‘situation’ was — how are you dealing with it, how will you address the shortfall going forward, what’s your plan to keep it from happening again, etc.

    If there’s no plan, no fiscal responsibility, then emergency help is pretty much a one time thing.

  286. @SDGuru
    I used to follow option D – helpp when they asked. But I realised that if you help once, they will continue to ask for more and more and more. No more. Last time a SB asked me for some extra money as she was short that month, I didn’t even bother to ask why, just a simple “no” was the answer. I refuse to reward bad or stupid financial behaviour or decisions.

    Hmmm – where have I heard that before? :-)

  287. @Sugarizy – great post. Thank you for common sense and clear advice. Go girl!!!

  288. @SD Guru

    A. Break the piggy bank and help them all. That’s what a SD is for.
    B. Decline to help because it’s going beyond the agreed arrangement.
    C. Help the one that is most deserving.
    D. Help the one that is most dire.
    E. Something else?

    B. Don’t even think of anything else. It’s nice to be kind, but people mistake kindness for weakness, and they will continue to hit you up for everything!

    • SD Guru says:

      I just looked and so far I have 5 pages of wishlist items bought on amazon… and never even met any of these guys in person.

      Who needs a SD when you can do so well on Twitter (and WYP)!! :)

      I’m sure if I didn’t like him and I wasn’t attracted to him I’d have an easier time demanding or asking for things.

      It’s called a hot guy discount and what you got is a NSA BF with some benefits. If you want to have an arrangement with him as a SD then you’ve got to ask for it.

      Your current post is in stark contrast compared to the ones from past month when you gushed on and on about your new hot SD/BF while kicking the old platonic allowance SD to the curb. I had cautioned you about having a back up plan in case the hot new guy doesn’t work out. It’s probably time to put those back up plans in motion.

      I refuse to reward bad or stupid financial behaviour or decisions…. Hmmm – where have I heard that before?

      I’m usually pretty good about drinking my own kool aid and eating my own dog food!! :mrgreen:


      Thanks to those who responded to my hypothetical scenario. Let me add a couple of things to the mix. First, let’s assume that each situation is legit and the need is real. Second, for most younger SB’s, fiscal responsibility and planning skills are not their strengths. And even with advice and mentoring they probably won’t be able to change overnight. Would these two factors have affected your thinking in deciding which option to take?

  289. CardsFan SD says:

    Hey sugars. :-) Hope everyone’s doing well as the week comes to a close.

    Everyone do me a favor and write their congressperson, telling them to leave UB/AP alone and stay out of online poker altogether, please! It’s messing with my income.

    Not much new here otherwise. Still seeing the same gal now for the last… 6 or 7 weeks now. Happily settling into a groove.


    A. Break the piggy bank and help them all. That’s what a SD is for.
    B. Decline to help because it’s going beyond the agreed arrangement.
    C. Help the one that is most deserving.
    D. Help the one that is most dire.
    E. Something else?

    I believe I have firmly established myself as a sucker for option D. :-)

  290. fancy face says:

    Sbsb: )ou won’t believe but I’m from the country that recently hosted the 2010 soccer world cup which was a beautiful success and if only I knew about this site maybe I would have found myself a SD last year.

  291. torontoblondie says:

    Back from Montreal – had an O.K. time, would have liked to see more of the city but the weather was bad, and the SD was busy during the afternoon I was there, but he took me to work with him so I wasn’t alone and had readings to do. Didn’t do any shopping or anything because that was basically the only time the stores were open when I was there, overall if the sex wasn’t great I think I would have regretted the trip. I’ve always been asked by men to travel to NY or what not to come see them where they would spoil me etc, but I’ve always declined because I’m not comfortable sleeping in the same bed with most of those men or waking up next to them in the morning – but this one’s different, he’s genuinely nice, we have nothing set out in stone like the last SD though (meetings etc) and seeing I don’t like asking for things etc I think this relationship might end soon, I get bitter pretty easily and disappear rather then talk about my feelings. Yes we get along great, it’s very BF/GF with out the constant companionship boys my age would give me, so I’m not sure exactly what to call if, but I’m sure if I didn’t like him and I wasn’t attracted to him I’d have an easier time demanding or asking for things. But the confusion hurts me, I’m a pretty sensitive person and I take things to personally, I’m usually pretty blunt with the men I meet.

  292. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugars! How’s everybody! Aw man I missed BeachGirl again(cue mock pout)
    To Lisa: if you’re still here I want to say I second everyone statements to you. As someone who has been at the bottom and who has been a caseworker for eight years and who volunteers at a womens shelter, you really do need to start to take stock of what you have, something I try to do every day. Sure I don’t have the best job in the world. The pay keeps my head above water barely with very little for the things that I want to do. And sometimes I’ve had to go outreaches for help with basics. But I have a job right now and with benefits which is more than alot of people. My boss can be a A-1 jerk at times but I keep my head down and do my job and just tell myself that everything will be alright. I have dreams and goals that I will fufill that I refuse to give up on no matter what and that’s what keeps me going. You are fortunate to have tasted sugar. I have not even gotten that far just saccharin and joke daddies who have wasted my time and in one case my money on a trip. Lesson learned. But I still have not given up. I’ve got new pics new body. new look. And like the song from Five Times August I’ll Do It Again.
    Okay end of boring inspirational speech….I’ll sit down now
    Hey sugarizy that book A Thousand Splendid Suns sounds very interesting and uplifting who’s it by?

  293. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello sugars!

    Guru~ As always your posts and SD wisdom are missed lol 😀
    As for helping your SBs out. I would think that if it goes beyond the agreed arrangement , I would ask what the money that is given, allowance, is used for in the first place. Maybe help them plan their spending, financial advice. You say “SB #1 says she’s launching a new business and is draining cash” Do you not know if that is true? did she really start a business? If she started a business and is draining cash, did she make her business plan? why is she draining cash, she didn’t plan her business properly? Why not help her with her business? Just my thoughts but what do I know 😀
    “SB #2 says money is tight this week and needs a little help.” What does she need the help for this week? Is it that she wants to buy clothes or something that she wants? She should of planned for her allowance
    “SB #3 says she needs help with rent due to an unforeseen event.” Help with rent??? she needs a better financial plan first off! We all have unforeseen events in our lives, I plan that it might happen! but that is just me 😀
    Who to help? I would think that you should go with your instincts and decide if you want to help or not. If it was me, I have a clear amount that I need from a SD and wouldn’t ask for more. I always plan and make sure that I have what I need and can take care of. I just started my business and let me tell you it’s a lot of time and money, no allowance for me as i’m sans SD.
    I would think that they need help planning their spending/allowance… I would make a point of asking what they do with the money and offer advice…
    I do agree with RCheck, it’s a case by case and you should make your decision accordingly.
    I hope everyone has a great day… back to school and work for me
    Have a good one Sugars! 😀

  294. Hi everyone! I’ve been gone for some time but I’m back :)

  295. Sweet.and.spicy says:

    Good morning Surgars,

    How is everyone this morning?

  296. SBsb says:

    Sdguru- Yes I was joking with you regarding the steak invitation! Ha Ha

    Good Morning SugarLand ! I hope you all get some sugar today and will be checking in later

    Whats going on Rcheck? Good to see you:)

  297. Rcheck says:

    @Midwest SB – Exciting isn’t it? :) I lost my original mast years ago. If they are rigged correctly they can’t fall out. Live and learn, I’m sure the fishies enjoy my old mast. I had my replacement mast filled with foam so now it wont sink. Plus I rig it better now. Good luck with the Bass boat. :)

    @Sugar boy – Good to see you back, Glad all is going well. How did the shopping trip work out? Amazed you haven’t had the talk yet.

    @Dallas baby – So many useful tips! You should start your own blog. Great stuff.

    @SD Guru – I believe that each case should be determined individually on it’s own merits. Even if an SD choses to have multiple SBs that was his choice, they must each be treated as individuals. Their needs and your decision should be on a case by case basis. When dealing with one you must essentially forget the others. They are (I assume) treated individually in all other respects.

    It is simply the cost of having what you want. Sometimes what you want gets a bit pricey. Just the way it is.

    Not sure what letter that is, I’m easily confused. Excellent question.

    And now my favorite question…

    What if there were no hypothetical questions?

  298. Lily says:

    Tried to catch up but couldn’t!
    Midwest, are you searching again?
    My life is FULL and will be all summer. I miss reading the blog!

  299. sugarizy says:

    Lisa, do you read? You should read A Thousand Splendid Suns.

    It was my perspective book. It was the book that I read on my 39 hours of transit home from Calcutta in India back home to Christchurch because of the death of my aunty in an earthquake. It’s the book I read when I had to spend the last of my saving’s on paying my lost aunty’s rent so that my dad wouldn’t be homeless. It’s the book I read while I spent the last of my money on my dad’s flights to Australia, so that he can have a new opportunity over there. Now I’m without my holiday money, have been at home in a shitty little city with thousands of aftershocks and I’m going to have to work for the next 9 months to get back to where I was. It sucks, but it’s life and I I chose to do that and I’m proud of myself.

    Life sucks sometimes. And you have every right to bitch about shit because it does suck. But with that kind of attitude and negativity I doubt anything good is going to come your way. I firmly believe in being a positive person. Being negative and down is not attractive, and it’s not good for you. Your brain is made up of neurons, those neurons are connected by synapses that are created when you think about certain things, linking everything together. If you repetitively have negative thoughts, you’re strengthening that negativity in your brain.

    I’m new here. You’ve been here for ages, you probably have your friends and you probably like using this forum to complain on – and feel free to carry on but seriously girl it’s your LIFE. You’ve made some choices to get where you are and you have to make some damn good choices to get out of where you are. Start writing a list of things you are thankful for. I’ve travelled to a few third world countries (Cambodia, Laos, India etc) and the people there would KILL for the opportunities you have in your life. You’ve got a roof over your head? You’re doing better than most of the people out there in the world.

    Also, I imagine the reason you’ve probably not had any sugar lately is not because you’re not a lovable or beautiful person but because this ball of negativity is consuming you. So much rage on just one little forum.

    Anyway, this isn’t meant to be a mean post. But i’ve gone through some shit in my life. Everyone’s gone through shit (hell at 19 I had custody of my two teenage sisters because my parents were incompetent), we all make sacrifices and sometimes there’s things we can’t change, but there’s no point raging repetitively on a forum about it. Go make some changes, it’s your life and you are in control. I actually want better for you because I know what it’s like to be in a rut and it’s actually no good.

    Sorry if this was out of line but I think a little positivity would do you the world of good. I hope things get better for you soon x

  300. Dallasbaby says:

    Sugar Boy- make sure you have the allowance talk before intimacy starts. No one wants the cow if they get milk free like they say. Otherwise it is harder to get allowance. You end up just more real relationship with presents and meals.

  301. Sugar Boy says:

    Hey everyone! How are you all?
    Phew it’s been a pretty crazy week here with me.. Haha ’twas a nice surprise to see i was quoted in this new post!

    The past few weeks I:
    -had a date with another potential SD, (he was great but cannot meet for another month) Time to play the waiting game to see if he truly wants to pursue something with me.
    -Had a third date with my current SD & booked hotels for a future trip abroad.
    -relaxed at home
    -caught up on applying for internships

    What phase of the sugar are you in at the moment? Searching for your ideal arrangement? Currently in a sugar relationship?
    -Currently “casually dating?” a SD, open to others though as we haven’t had a talk about exclusivity..

    What kind of sugar choices (if any) are you in the midst of making?
    -Currently thinking of a way to have “The talk” with my current SD.. we’re eachothers’ first so i have no idea how to approach the topic of an allowance.

    Have you had any sweeeet surprises with a SD or SB? Have you found any benefits you didn’t originally expect from sugar?
    -I’ve had SO many wonderful meals and great drinks, shopping, a few gifts here and there, plans of traveling even more and great conversation.

  302. Dallasbaby says:

    and my twitter shows face !

  303. Dallasbaby says:

    I just looked and so far I have 5 pages of wishlist items bought on amazon ! I log in and cyber shop to move things around. I make sure everything is over 35.00 . Just got a pair of frankie b jeans for 200 and some fringe sandle boots for 150.00 and never even met any of these guys in person. This will be my first meeting with one guy who bought so much. I then took pics in the items and sent them!

  304. Dallasbaby says:

    But also, just because one person can do things does not mean everyone can. Not all of us are for everyone.

  305. Dallasbaby says:

    SD Guru – I found one special one from posting my amazon wishlist and he bought be thousands of dollars in presents so far and we have a date planned on the 2nd at the ritz and he invited me also to a beach vacation.

  306. cleo says:

    no i really don’t… some of them do. i’m a very open person, if they don’t like me they can leave

    • SD Guru says:

      A confluence of tragic events…

      Well, maybe it’s not so tragic but the timing is just odd. Let’s take this hypothetical scenario for example. SB #1 says she’s launching a new business and is draining cash. SB #2 says money is tight this week and needs a little help. SB #3 says she needs help with rent due to an unforeseen event. What should a SD do?

      A. Break the piggy bank and help them all. That’s what a SD is for.
      B. Decline to help because it’s going beyond the agreed arrangement.
      C. Help the one that is most deserving.
      D. Help the one that is most dire.
      E. Something else?

      lots of sugar daddy types are on twitter.

      Some people have speculated that the sugar scene is migrating from sugar dating sites to social media. What’s been your experience dealing with SD types on Twitter? Are they any more legit (or flaky) than the ones on sugar dating sites?

      Sd guru—Is the steak invitation to anyone? lol…I will meet you in Vegas! Woo hoo

      I made a wager with Michael back in December and I owe him a steak dinner as a result. Although he seems to be in no hurry to collect for some reason… :)

      @Beach Girl
      Guru~ where have you been hiding? good to “See” you

      You know I’m always lurking somewhere! 😛

  307. Dallasbaby says:

    I saw a guy at the ritz last night that I saw on another girls facebook photos. She works for an animal charity !

  308. LASB says:

    So you don’t care if your pilates clients know?

  309. cleo says:

    lasb i really don’t, but when i started freestyling locally i didn’t really want men to be going “hey i saw that girl on a sugar site” and i’m pretty recognizeable… that said, i don’t give a fig if everyone i know knows *I* sugar date, but I started thinking about my *dates*

  310. LASB says:

    Cleo – You had your face up forever. I thought you just didn’t worry about stuff like that.

  311. cleo says:

    ps i agree with you about photos… it’s the other reason i took my face down

  312. LASB says:

    Cleo – Great story! At least that one you can deny. It’s hard to deny an internet profile on SA with your face staring right into the camera.

  313. Dallasbaby says:

    After a guy makes an offer I take it to text and send face pictures then. Just so he knows what I look like and if he don’t like he can back out then before meeting! Some guys make offers from out of state to just get the pictures of face. I guess the mystery gets to them.

  314. cleo says:

    lasb i have up a photo of my calves and some shoes after i remembered something that happened when i was 18

    back then i was very rocknroll so i was wearing a lot of mini skirts and hooker boots and very big hair and leather with fringes and MAKEUP. i was 19, it was the end of the 80s, i was going to metallica AND aerosmith concerts you know? so basically i was wearing what everyone wears today with big hair and makeup lol

    anyway someone saw me walking down the street and called my dad to tell him his daughter was a hooker and did he know? i was (irony of ironies) a virgin at the time.

    so no more face shots for me either.

    besides, i like to think my legs are alluring in the mirror…

  315. SBsb says:

    LASB- Well that totally makes sense and thank you for clarifying:)

  316. LASB says:

    SBsb – I don’t have a face photo b/c I like to keep my privacy. I once saw a photo that looked exactly like a very close relative. I actually had to scrutinize his entire profile to see if it was him or not, but I swear my heart skipped a beat. I took that as a warning that you don’t know who you will run into. I probably get less attention since the guys are scared that I might look like a monster. But also, I look horrible in photos, so maybe I do better without them. Hard to say. But whatever, I’m Asian and we all look the same, so once a guy knows my height and weight, he should kinda know what I’m gonna look like anyhow. lol!

    I didn’t find a SD from SA. I met someone from another site and we started dating. I considered him a BF and not a SD, but he was pretty much a SD sans allowance. It ended in the fall and now I’m back in the sugar bowl. I’ve had only one WYP date. He was charming, but we didn’t talk much of sugar. He dropped a huge bomb on me and then I was too nervous to lead the conversation. (That rarely happens to me by the way!)

    I’ll add that there is this weird thing that I’ve noticed in regards to pictures. For the most part, the less concerned a guy has been with scrutinizing my photos, the better looking and more charming, generous, and interesting he has been. It took me a while to put a theory together, but I think it has to do with his security level in various realms. If a guy is willing to go on an lavish date with a woman who may potentially be an ugly dog, he likely has a sense of adventure, enough wealth to not be bent over the expense, is secure enough that it’s not going to put a huge damper on his spirits if indeed I turn out to be an ugly dog, and he’s not totally superficial. The ex (nicknamed BGBF) and I met without exchanging any photos. Prior to our date, we had 2 emails a piece and a brief phone call. The instant our eyes met the first time, we both went “wow!”

  317. SBsb says:

    City- I am so happy it was successful! That is great and congrats.. We will talk all about it soon and good night dear

  318. City Gal by the Lake says:

    Hello sugars…

    Just got back from a date with a potential pot… (after burning my finger on a hot piece of metal in the studio :(… )
    It went OK, he was funny and charming and a gentleman… Plus he’s new to the city and I feel safe meeting him anywhere… ^_^

    Now, goodnight – gotta get up to get to work –

    Cheers ^_^

  319. SBsb says:

    LAsb- Why do you not have a photo? don’t you get more responses with a photo? How many dates have you had from WYP? Do you contact them or do they find you? And have you found a SD from this site SA? If so how long did it take from when you signed up and created a profile?

  320. Logicallady says:

    Cool chickies…will check’em out 😉

  321. cleo says:

    you can get similar supplements from evening primrose and stuff, ask the health food store

  322. Logicallady says:

    That was going to be my question about the fish oil…I have a HUGE sensitivity on the smell of all water creatures..people have told me in the past to take the oil but I feared at some point I might end up tasting it and then I’d really be in trouble! It’s a challenge to sit in a restaurant that serves a high quantity of the stuff :S

    I think I may just end up passing on that beauty regime 😛

    I have no clue what EFA 3-6-9 is but I’ll give it a go!

  323. Dallasbaby says:

    and fish oil is good for the heart !

  324. Dallasbaby says:

    If you take the highest quality fish oil you do not get nasty burps. I do nature made .

  325. Anna Molly says:

    I always regret taking fish oil, it comes back to haunt me later in the day…yuck! However, I do take EFA 3-6-9 and love it! Great for skin, hair and nails and good for your general health. Make sure you put any fish oils or EFA in the fridge because they do spoil.

  326. Dallasbaby says:

    It says on the profile mostly and some just find you because when post often you get in a timeline that the world sees. You have the amazon on your profile. You just say random thoughts during the day to get noticed.

  327. SBsb says:

    Hi Cleo- Whats up with you?

  328. cleo says:

    dallas how do you find out who is a sugar daddy type on twitter?

    oh yeah, i has an amazon wishlist :)

  329. SBsb says:

    Oh ok ! So you do not have a profile on this site either? Do you have a SD right now is that why?

  330. Dallasbaby says:

    SBsb- I closed all my profiles down buy WYP and I do not even show my face at all !

  331. Dallasbaby says:

    Lisa- you should try getting on disability. My sister got on it and even got 30 k back pay. She never held a job long and proved she can not even count money. I think she gets 900 a month then she also took in her old sugar daddy who get 4 k a month from retirement funds. I think that included money to care for him as well. Not sure.

  332. SBsb says:

    Dallasbaby- are you in TX? Also do you mind sharing your profile? I would love to see it :)

  333. Lisa without a family says:

    mocking peoples’ religious believes isn’t allowed on the blog.

  334. Lisa without a family says:

    all in all i’m falling apart and need to be shot

  335. Lisa without a family says:

    My dad tried to teach me one time on a country road and I was all over the road. I have serious nerve damage in my hands(my hands are numb have the time, i’m constantly dropping and breaking things at work and very poor coordination (aka im about 5 years away from being legally blind like my dad was, my vision can’t be corrected any more without surgery which is out of the question) so i’d probably run over every one. No woman in my family has every driven, except my daughter and she only took drivers ed and has since forgot everything. She couldn’t even drive the rental car when my stepdad had a diabetic seizure a couple years ago and we almost went over the galveston seawall. scary time, we had to hold him down to keep him from drivng and it was tense the whole ride home but my daugther could now operate the car and had taken drivers ed a few months earlier. She is very smart and on the deans list at college but she too has bad coordination and horrible eyesite at age 20.

    I never had any of the those toys when I was a kid, I just had barbies.

    ok gotta go now, need to shower and wind down so I can get up early. god I hate my job.

  336. The Lone Gunman says:

    Hi gang.

    Everyone ready for the End Times to begin this weekend? If you’re one of those who figure to be taken up by the Rapture predicted by Harold Camping, please send me all your worldly stuff, starting with the cash on hand that you’ll no longer need.

    Trust me when I tell you that I will still be here on May 22 to take care of it.


  337. Dallasbaby says:

    Your suppose to learn to drive by riding the kids toys as a child .

  338. Dallasbaby says:

    Girlfriend, you just read the book and press the petal and move the wheel to where you wanna go !

  339. Lisa without a family says:

    I don’t even have a driver’s license nor do I know how to drive. As far as auto autions, they have those here I think but again they are most likely on weekens and not on the busline. Houston is a car obsessed city, no one cars about the public transport system, in fact they fight against expansion. We have one rain line that runs downtown and they are trying to expand it in the future to run through other areas of the city but they have so much opposition and I can’t believe the nasty attitudes people have about it (the opinions posted on a recent article where metro wanted the public to help them name new rail stations) they hate it. We keep building freeways and roads but forget pedestrians. But then again we are the fat city.

    ok off to shower, no time to do anything, working the later schedule sucks.

  340. Logicallady says:

    Dallasbaby, your are just bursting with tips tonight!!!

  341. Dallasbaby says:

    Lisa, I bought a car at auction for 150 once and later sold it for 750.00 !

  342. Dallasbaby says:

    And yes, I did get most of my dates by winking. At first I winked at everybody, but then guys got mad if they made an offer and I didnt travel. They would blame me for winking…lol

  343. Dallasbaby says:

    oops, , last night !

  344. Lisa without a family says:

    Logicallady, no email sent yet. Blog gods please send my email to Logicallady.
    And thanks for your kind words.

    On the word of baby daddies, I was married almost 4 years and always refer to my daughter’s dad as my ex husband, babydaddy sounds like a child born out of wedlook to me, mine is legitimate.

    Just got home from work, waiting an hour for the bus, more proof that I can’t just go out on the bus at night for social life, if I can’t even get home at 6 oclock. Houston public transport is the worst.

    ok gotta eat something now , i’m starving. Going to stay away from the blog for the evening.

  345. Dallasbaby says:

    i first ordered it from a home shopping show then from macys. it is exp but lasts forever ! I forgot to put some on my legs like night and did not feel good about myself. I missed a step and felt off without it. Makes that much of an impact I swear !

  346. SBsb says:

    Oh ya Dallas where do you get the body frosting at?

  347. SBsb says:

    Thanks Dallasbaby.. I have not done much with it since I signed up sop maybe I need to be more proactive with it! So did you get your date by winking at the guy? Hey is your profile linked? I would love to see it! Are you in Dallas TX?

    But I am going to start winking at people and see what happens, Are you getting much action on this website? It is so frustrating 167 people have looked at my profile the last week and a half but no responses! How long did it take you to get a live one once you signed up on this site?

  348. Sweet.and.spicy says:

    Thanks for the advice! Very nice..

  349. Dallasbaby says:

    Also ladies: you can have an amazon wishlist for a sugar daddy to buy these things for you. Your address is private and lots of sugar daddy types are on twitter.

  350. Dallasbaby says:

    Take fish oil pills by mouth but your hair will be more oily from it so I use a dry shampoo if I have to freshen up and no time to wash my hair.

  351. Logicallady says:

    Great tip Dallas…got to try it…I’m suffering from the pasty winter skin :'(

  352. Dallasbaby says:

    Opps sorry, look like celebs…

  353. Dallasbaby says:

    Ladies: If you want your skin to low like celebs and JLo you have to take fish oil and use BAKED BODY FROSTING by Laura Geller. I use it on my arms chest legs and down the middle of my nose for a dewey look. Guys tell me how great my skin looks !

  354. Dallasbaby says:

    Sbsb- what I do is go through my area then send a wink to all my locals and I do this every so many days because you get new guys all the time. I would say do not take less than 200.00 because they will want 2-5 hours of your time.

  355. Sbsb says:

    Ok great! would love to hook up! So tell me about your experience with WYP? I have had a profile up for a couple weeks with no action? I am starting to feel a bit bad for myself.. Maby I am better looking in my head then I am to other people….lol….Haha

    Blog Gods can you please give LASB my email… Thanks

  356. Sweet.and.spicy says:


    I am reposting part of my post from yesterday and this morning so you guys can give me some feedback with the following things in mind:

    -I am in the process of getting in shape
    -looking for a sugar daddy and mentor
    -and I am new to this
    -I have not yet upgraded my profile
    -I am a brown sugar baby

    Once again I could really use the feedback. Help is needed.

    Look me up! 620581

    Thanks everyone!

  357. LASB says:

    sbsb – Sure, send me an email and we can talk. I’m in Ventura County from time to time, so we could always meet in between too. SD Guru lost a bet to Michael, so that’s what the steak dinner is about.

  358. Sbsb says:

    Sd guru—Is the steak invitation to anyone? lol…I will meet you in Vegas! Woo hoo

  359. Sbsb says:

    Where are you located fancy face? If you come to California we for sure can get together and have some fun! Always looking for new friends

  360. Sbsb says:

    Fancy Face- I understand how you are feeling, Believe me! I have had a profile up for 2 weeks now and my profile has been looked at 167 times but no emails! I am like ” Wow am I chopped liver or what”…lol! But like all the wonderful people on this blog had said that we just need to give it time. So I am just waiting patiently.

    Do not worry there is somebody for everybody! Also we are all different color, shapes and sizes and that is perfect because not everyone likes the same type! Thank God!

  361. fancy face says:

    Ohk, its seems like every1 is inviting every1 to meet and have FUN. So is any1 from other side of the world, we can always meet, be friends and have loads of FUN!

    Its gud night to every beautiful and sexy SB and SD from my side.

  362. Sbsb says:

    Michael Alleycat- I am more then happy to show you around Santa Barbara , CA if you are ever interested in taking a trip here. Not to far from AZ at all. So let me know :)

  363. Sbsb says:

    Lasb-Hey I would love to get together sometime. I am in Santa Barbara and LA is not that far at all. It is always nice to get out of town. If you are up for it maybe the blog gods can exchange emails for us? Let me know!

  364. SummerInMtl says:

    Fancy Face & Logicallady: thanks for your warm welcome!

    I’m still feeling a llittle bit “clumsy” when answering to SDs who contacted me, but I guess it’ll feel more natural after a couple of weeks! :)

  365. Logicallady says:

    Good afternoon everyone!

    It’s raining, it’s pouring, the old man is snoring 😉

    I feel like I went through withdrawal, I took a nap yesterday and when I woke up my internet and tv were disconneceted….these things happen I suppose when your fight the service provider to get their billing and contractual obligations to be honoured hahaha. It was a tough 24 hours without technology…I even resorted to cleaning :/

    Dallasbaby & Lisa – We all might be in competition for the worlds worst baby-daddy, we could probably start a whole new forum on this alone!

    Lisa did the blog gods ever send you my email? And don’t restrain your posts, you have the right to post whatever you want, some of us are here to listen help, advise, and support one another 😉 Anyone who says their shyte don’t stink is delusional Hahaha and wouldn’t be on the blogs for support themselves 😉

    Dallasbaby – way to score on WYP! You’ve given me some insentive to check the site out 😀

    LASB – fridge stocked and house cleaned; yeah I’ll take some of that 😉

    City gal by the lake – loved the profile, love your energy, and love your confidence 😉 We’ll have to go for drinks some day too!

    oh and welcome to the blogs newbies!


  366. fancy face says:

    Welcome summer and WOW so soon but congrates hey!

  367. Sweet.and.spicy says:

    I am reposting part of my post from yesterday so you guys can give me some feedback with the following things in mind:

    -I am in the process of getting in shape
    -looking for a sugar daddy and mentor
    -and I am new to this
    -I have not yet upgraded my profile
    -I am a brown sugar baby :)

    Look me up! 620581

    Thanks everyone!

  368. Sweet.and.spicy says:

    Ahh thank you so much SomeRandomSD!!!

  369. Sweet.and.spicy says:

    Your quite welcome SummerInMtl. And no I have not met anyone yet. I don’t think it’s going be easy for me but I am up for the challange!

  370. SummerInMtl says:

    Thanks a lot Sweet.and.spicy. Have you met anyone yet? :)

  371. SomeRandomSD says:

    @Sweet.and.spicy: URLs are “moderated” in msgs, but If you put it in under “website” (name/email/website fields) — and remove member/same from the url portion — just delete those words — then it should work. Alternately just give your ID.

  372. Sweet.and.spicy says:

    Sugars, I am having trouble posting the link for my profile so you guys can give me feedback.


  373. Sweet.and.spicy says:

    Welcome SummerInMtl!! I am a little new as well and I hope your experience will be a good one.

  374. SummerInMtl says:

    Hi Everybody!

    I’m a new member… since yesterday night. First, I’m sorry my english isn’t perfect, I’m from Montreal and I’m really more fluent in French.

    So, I spent hours reading this blog and all of your comments and I thought “Why not! Let’s try this!”.
    This morning I was surprised to received 4-5 messages from SD from my city. I’m still sceptical, I’m wondering if a lot of guys who dont’ have money are coming here saying they do just to get a girl in their bed.
    Well, I’ll guess I’ll find out sooner or later…

    I just wanted to say hello! I spent hours reading this blog so I feel like I already know some of you a little bit 😉

  375. SomeRandomSD says:

    @fancy face: If I were to guess, I’d say a majority of the women who put profiles up, are in the same boat.

    I think, also, a lot of SDs look either a) around where they live, or b) where they travel to frequently. If you are not in one of those 2 locations, I’m guessing you’ll see a lot less activity as well.

    It’s a numbers game. There are fewer SDs than SBs. You’ll need to figure out how to make yourself more “findable”. I’d also suggest you have a great profile, and good photos, as well.

  376. fancy face says:

    Hello sugars!

    Its been a while but I’m back and still disappointed:-(
    Ok, I have to know now, why is it that I haven’t had a decent reply to my emails. I hav e sent over 90 emails and winks but nothing.
    I’m from the other side of the world, young and black. Is it a disadvantage for me coz it seems like no one serious is replying. I’m open to long distance arrangement and travelling but still nothing. I’m new or should I say a few weeks old in this sit but nothing. I’m starting to feel like its not working. Oh, and I am a standard user and cannot yet afford to upgrade.I’ve had someone favourite me and had a date with some not so handsome SD who could not afford my time or energy(I’m no gold digger).
    What a girl to do? I’m hearing all these wonderful story about how you all are having fun travelling and enjoying your dates.

    Sugars please, I need your advice.

  377. CardsFanSD says:

    Morning, as well, to all of you. Midweek. Yes!

    I really need to get the pool swimmable. I am slacking this summer. But… wow. what’s up with this weather in Phoenix? Yesterday/today — marvelous!

  378. SBsb says:

    Good Morning All ! Hope you all have a fantastic day :)

  379. Anna Molly says:

    Good morning! 😀

  380. Beach_Girl says:

    Cleo~ Glad that your business is going well, mine is getting there… I know it will pick up, but god it’s taking for EVER! Besides working, i’ve been good…

    Guru~ where have you been hiding? good to “See” you

  381. cleo says:

    beach i’m glad to hear that you’re getting better, pneumonia sounds terrible!

    i’m pretty well, feeling healthy, been the same weight for long enough that it feels like me now (still get startled by mirrors on occasion lol) and business is slowly picking up such that i am no longer afraid when the rent comes due. i’m not happy, or unworried, but i’m not afraid anymore

    how have you been?
    lasb: yes, definitely, it’s nice to know that i can pull myself up by my own damn bootstraps… helps that i really do rock this job *smile*

    you were mostly right because i would have had a different attitude and thus all might have been different.. but then, who can say what a difference better studio feng shui might have made right? it’s fun to imagine what if’s but all i can say is that if i complain about my life i deserve to get slapped…

    • SD Guru says:

      Did somebody say steak?? :)


      Do you ever plan with more than a few days in advance to go to Vegas or LA?? I’ll be happy to buy you that steak dinner if you give me a bit more notice so I can put it on my calendar.

  382. Sweet.and.spicy says:

    Ladies, Sorry I was not able to put up the link to my profile. I had a busy day and will put it up tomorrow for your guys to see and give feedback!

    Night all.

  383. Beach_Girl says:

    LASB~ I can work at this time and not get bothered by people lol… but yes I am resting and taking care of me… just not on the same schedule of everyone else, as always… I am different 😀

  384. LASB says:

    Hi Beach! Ok, you east coast canadians are up late! Beach, get some sleep and get well soon!

    Cleo, yes I saw your post. The one where I was mostly right but maybe not. LOL! But yeah, as much as I would enjoy having a lover of means who helps me out, it is also nice to know that I can do for myself. I see some of that in you too.

  385. Beach_Girl says:

    Cleo~ i’ve been ok, battling pneumonia sucks… :( but I am getting better every day! 😀
    It would be awesome to go even better with a shopping daddy… allowance would be awesome too 😀
    How have you been? haven’t talked to you in forever!

  386. cleo says:

    beach girl how’s it going?

    hey you know i’ve never even BEEN to LA and it’s so a place i want to wander around… be extra fun with a shopping daddy lol

  387. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!
    I wanna go back to LA, I need to see my extended family :( and have fun if the sun could come out there too!
    Hey LASB
    Hi Cleo

  388. cleo says:

    hi lasb, i commented to you at the end of a looong comment above

  389. LASB says:

    Hi Cleo!

  390. LASB says:

    Yeah, doesn’t he owe you a steak? Get him to meet you in Vegas.

  391. cleo says:

    you should go trade steaks with sd guru *grin*

  392. LASB says:

    Well next time you are around, look me up. I have stacks of tickets for various events and enjoy entertaining in LA.

  393. Michael Alleycat says:

    Sounds great fun! Shame you are not free Friday night to show me the same…

  394. LASB says:

    Ah, too bad you weren’t here last week. I took a certain blog SD to see ladies dancing in a cage. You could have tagged along and been my +2. Well, ok. It was actually a very interactive concert with cage dancing and a spinning wheel in a very sexy art deco theatre.

  395. Dallasbaby says:

    Just got back from my second date. Another 200.00 so im thinking the fee you do the first date on will be the same as the second ! No intimacy…just a fast kiss !

  396. Michael Alleycat says:

    Or maybe LA, or another city that is an hour flight from Phoenix?

  397. Hi everybody
    Quiet night tonight, 12 y.o. daughter is out at a friends place. And she has a sleepover Friday night!! Therefore heading to Vegas or San Diego Friday night – anybody else will be around?

    Prefer to be in those cities with friends, much more fun than by yourself! Any thoughts / comments?

  398. Rcheck says:

    WhatsYourPrice – A new website started by the creators of this site. The general concept is that men make cash offers to go out with attractive ladies. It’s a date they pay for.

    Some of the ladies here have tried it with varied results. Reviews are mixed so far, but it’s still a fairly new site.

  399. SBsb says:

    Hey ladies ! Good evening to you all! What is WYP? I hear a few of you met a pot on there? What is it?

  400. City Gal by the Lake says:

    @ LASB – Thanks for that… I totally did not see that huge spelling error… ^_^;

  401. cleo says:

    it’s been mentioned before and will be again that perhaps it’s not the very best idea to leave your face up here for all to see on this blog… fortunately your gravatar is only the current one even if you go back to ooooold blogs so you can always change it, but still, ladies, IF you value discretion and have people you don’t want finding out about your sugar life i wouldn’t recommend putting your face up here
    torontoblondie: you are SO right about the sex trade being alive and well in toronto, in fact i used to drive for an agency (briefly, i didn’t enjoy it… especially not the girl whose first time it was who was terrified and it was my second week so i didn’t even have anything useful to say to her – i never minded driving the girls who loved the job, but the ones who hated it and were doing it because they had uncontrollable shopping problems or something killed me) and i met some amazing women who were working in the trade.

    it’s only half the story. there are 20% more single women than men in toronto and i’m pretty sure they missed a lot of closet homosexuals when they got that stat… so it’s probably more like 30 or 40 (like, in my opinion, any city with a huge gay population, i think the downtown demographics get funny) so you have a huge sex trade AND a city full of women desperate to get a man who will put up with the worst treatment, behaviour i would have dumped a guy for in HIGH SCHOOL

    i can’t believe the crap i see men pulling and any attractive one who dresses well has hordes of starving women throwing themselves at him. it’s a hard city to date in if you have self respect – it makes you a lot more work, easier to sugar date in in some ways, you’re expected to be a little more… hrm… confident?
    as for any of the posters, if you don’t like someone’s posts don’t read them. if you don’t like that people answer that poster ignore them too… if someone’s posts make you crazy go look in the mirror and wonder what it is about yourself that you don’t like in theirs.

    i’m not sure i see call to discuss it beyond that… really must we?
    lasb: i have been thinking about your comment for three days and i think you’re mostly right.

    i think my business would certainly be doing differently if i’d ever had the experience of receiving a regular allowance or even a regular gift daddy like your guy who refurnished your place…

    there are things that would certainly be nicer, i’d have better furniture and i’d have had some stuff made that i need and various little touches like better paint etc would have happened to my studio already. i would have spent money on ads in local papers and magazines and spent far more money than the 3/day i currently budget to adwords…

    but would i have worked as hard at cementing relationships with other teachers, getting more of them to my workshop, building relationships with local practitioners of complementary disciplines (toss up, i could have paid for using more of their services which is the sniper approach to getting referrals and by far the most effective thing that i do!) etc?

    hard to say, maybe not :)

  402. Dallasbaby says:

    Or how about your own grandma sending you to her husbands room to get molested at 9 …and the whole time you thought he was your blood grandpa!

  403. LASB says:

    Hi Sugars!

    City Gal by the Lake – Cute pics, but I don’t know about the whole line about the clock ticking. Maybe it’s just me, but makes me think of biological clock, that you want a baby. “humerus” is the elbow bone. Did you mean “humorous?”

    So I met what I think is a pot SD off of WYP yesterday, but I got nervous and we never fully had the discussion. I will probably see him again at some point, but we didn’t make definite plans. I’m a sucker for the hot guy discount and an even bigger sucker for the smart guy discount. He hit me with a double whammy and then some.

    Speaking of smart, hot guys, BG(ex)BF can’t live without me so I agreed to let him bring me groceries and clean my house once a week. As part of our new agreement, he and I will remain platonic and I will date who I want. I guess I shouldn’t bitch that he was anti-allowance, because my place was always well stocked and maintained. And yes, I know I’m playing with fire.

  404. Dallasbaby says:

    Lisa- My ex kept my baby and tried to kick me down two flights of stairs so he could close the door on me. Then used the fact that I had no car against me. Then when we had visits if I was not at the door straight up 6:00 and was one min early or one minute late by his clock then no visit. Had to go back to court and the judge had to tell him he did not mean on the dot 6:00 !!!!

  405. Dallasbaby says:

    This one time at band camp…..

  406. City Gal by the Lake says:

    @ Dallasbaby – I do hope he lets you get some words in, tonight… (sorry to hear about your marriage)

  407. overweight says:


  408. RedMaru says:

    Sweet.and.spicy welcome! Love the name!
    Refreshed profile so hopefully a new number will mean new prospects! Have to wait for it to be approved

  409. Lisa without a family says:

    Good afternoon everyone, I won’t entertain anyone with my nonsense, especially the newbies.

    Thank you for your kind words Midwest (a woman of character and class who doesn’t bash anyone) and RCheck, odd that I was born with a frown on my face, It is very difficult for me to smile and I just seem to stare through people. My mom has the same frown.

    Dallasbaby, Sorry about how your marriage ended but i’ve got one better, my husband left me when I was 8 months pregnant, left the country so I had no way to even contact him. I went to the hospital when I was in labor and when they found out I had no insurance, they turned off the monitoring equipment and asked me to leave. I did and ended up trying to get to some dumpy hospital on the other side of town. I am so over that though, that’s so long ago and doesn’t affect my day to day life. My ex was a dangerous man and my daughter’s safety was more important than getting any child support which I got none.

  410. City Gal by the Lake says:

    Another rainy day in the big TO.

    @ Sweet.and.spicy – link your profile to the blog, babe… ^_^

  411. Dallasbaby says:

    plus he says its his first date in the sugar life so im giving him a break i guess.

  412. Dallasbaby says:

    I had a date on wyp for 200.00 and we spent 5 hours together. Dinner then watched a band play ! He wants to meet tonight at the ritz for dinner, I asked him what about the allowance plan and he says meet to talk . He did not even eat his dinner hardly because he just kept talking and talking and talking, even had a coughing spell and talked through that also ! OMG, he did not come up for air ! I hope I get paid for this at least !

  413. Sweet.and.spicy says:

    Good afternoon ladies!!!! How is everyone? Im glad to see this blog up and jumping today. I was wondering anyone of you would like to take a look at my profile and tell me what you think. If you do please do so with these things in mind.
    -I am in the process of getting in shape
    -looking for a sugar daddy and mentor
    -and I am new to this.

  414. It’s alive & working… ^_^

    (don’t want to brag but I am a genius…) lol


  415. Hi Sugars…

    I’m gonna try see if I can link my profile…
    If it does work, can you give me feedback on it??? Where it needs a little tweaking???

    Much appreciated… ^_^

    Cheers; (back to work now…)

  416. Midwest SB says:

    Change your perspective a bit….it’s a reminder of the daily struggle and you are fortunate enough to manage it the way you see fit.

  417. Dallasbaby says:

    On the Lisa subject- I had to leave a marriage with just my toothbrush in hand ,so I have been at the bottom too !

  418. overweight says:

    Rcheck-i fixed it
    midwest- i have started ignoring her because i feel like offing myself when i read any of it but it sucks that she can affect me but i cant really say anything back that could affect her. oh well im done with it honestly

  419. RedMaru says:

    Midwest – very true good suggestion : D

  420. Midwest SB says:

    Red – I found it…www dot seeking arrangement dot com / detail dot php ? id = 433xxx

    I found your profile and really love the new pic. Your prose is great, but you could probably put a little more flirt into it. Also…put up a smiling pic…I love your smile! I think the newer ID will keep guys from thinking you’re a “pro” (sorry, but could happen).

  421. RedMaru says:

    Hey Midwest 😀 What was BeachGirl’s example? I must have missed it..Could you tell me? A new profile might benefit I’m open to suggestions

  422. SBsb says:

    Thanks midwest on the feedback! I checkes out info on the right ans emailed him with some “must haves” before I decide to travel.

  423. Midwest SB says:

    Overweight – Lisa was the very first person to post on the SA Blog. Although we all care about her, we have all accepted her as she is. It’s something the newbies either embrace or ignore. We all have our weaknesses. Sometimes it’s not for us to question or fix.

    Hi RedMaru! Fix your link according to BeachGirl’s example so it will link up. Do you think you would benefit from having a newer profile ID?

  424. Overweight says:

    I mean,
    Is there any point in challenging everyone to do something negative when you can’t accept our challenge to do something positive

  425. RedMaru says:

    To worried welcome and grats on your arrangement 😀
    I second Midwest’s suggestions they were all good ones. Joining him on a business trip is a lil iffy depending on where the trip is for one how well have you gotten to know this guy two. I’m going to sound like a parrot and say you should really make the first date local in familiar surrondings so you two can feel each other out get to know each other better and really become comfortable with one another.

  426. Overweight says:

    Sugarsugar I know why
    Lisas here and I dont want to listen to it so I don’t :)

  427. SouthernGent2 says:

    Worried – how long is the business trip this guy is offering? If you only know him from a meet and greet at Starbucks, you are setting yourself up for a possible long week of being very uncomfortable. Personally I would want to make the first overnight local so you can do things on your own time frame if things aren’t going well. If you are gone for four or five nights, you will get bored.

  428. RedMaru says:

    I just keep popping in and out don’t I? How is everybody this morning? Such a beautiful weekend I had one of those that I wish I could repeat. And now here at work….bleh but a necessity. No sugar in my life yet I wish. I have new pics up though could you all take a look. Something cheap I do for fun? Write! I hope to be published one day I have short stories and novels and I have been pounding the pavement talking to editors and agents and doing readings. One reason I would like sugar in my life is to supplement my income so I could pursue my goals without having to worry so much about needs and have a lil something for my wants too. Hey I like to be spoiled too(video games, manicures, travelling)

  429. Midwest SB says:

    Good morning sugars!

    Worried – Congrats on your first arrangement! Since he is working during this trip, hopefully he will provide a little play money for you to go out and enjoy the sights while he has his power lunches. After he is done, it will depend on the time he has available. Work is #1 priority for him unless he says otherwise. You can arrange to have his favorite cocktail in the room when he comes back (you could even find a liquor store and keep a bottle in the room for convenience), offer a massage, pamper him and take his distractions off work for a bit. Check out the local scene and see what’s going on. Make some suggestions on some unique venues, plus he will have some of his own favorites for dinner. Perhaps a couples massage in the room can be arranged. He may offer a little pampering for you such as a spa day or a little shopping. Don’t be afraid to suggest (playfully) that you would like to do (x) because it’s of particular interest. He will appreciate your sense of independence. Whatever you do, don’t lurk around the hotel room all week. You’ll be bored and disappointed and he will feel bad. Do the walkabout sweetie!

    Rcheck – I will definitely look into it! I have been on a tilt…right over the top of the sail and over to the other side!!!!! Yep…we buried the mast right into the bottom of the lake. Right now, a small man who loves our small bass boat is taking up all my free time on the water!

    Overweight – your picture makes you look so focused while there is so much going on around you. Very captivating.

    SBsb – I’m a strong believer in having him come to you for the first meet. It may mean having to wait a few weeks until it can be scheduled, but I can’t even begin to recall the nightmares women get into by traveling to meet a stranger. There are travel tips for SBs on the right. Should you decide to go….stick tightly to those travel tips to help ensure your safety.

  430. Enigma SD says:

    Hi worried — first of all, welcome to the blog. Not sure why an SD wouldn’t want to go to a movie with you — suggest it and see what he says. As part of your screening process, common interests should have been included as a criteria so that you could do fun things together. Ok — I know that sounded like scolding… but I have had SBs traveling with me on business for years and we didn’t just hang out in the hotel. Things we did have included: dinner, movies, concerts, shopping (my least fave thing to do), fishing, having a few drinks at a bar, playing pool, shooting darts, trolley car ride, hiking, etc. You get the idea. I might suggest that you ask him what you just asked the blog community…. even more cool… tell him you would like to research some things to do in the area and make some suggestions — I have had SBs do that, and it was appreciated. Try ticketmaster or do a google search of “things to do” in the city you are visiting. Most of all… have fun!

  431. sugarsugar says:


    To the newbies- everyone here has a kind heart but we’ve given Lisa about 100 suggestions to better her life and she has a reason why every single one of them would not work. She is just here to vent.

  432. worried says:

    Hi everyone!

    I am new to this website, well, been looking at it for more than 2 weeks but is the first time i am posting. been reading blogs and stuffs to try to get a better idea on what i should do.

    So at many people’s advice, I met up with some people in starbucks. Now that i decided to go into an arrangement with one of them (i kinda got a good feeling about him) I don’t know what to do next.
    May I know where do most of you go on a proper date with sd? So, he suggested that I join him on one of his biz trip. So, I have absolutely no idea what to do with him other than dinner. And i don’t exactly think spending the entire time in the hotel is a good idea. And i don’t think he would want to go for a movie with me or something…

    Thanks for your input.

  433. Rcheck says:

    Almost forgot.

    @overweight – Delete the following characters from your link :


    Start in front of the ‘m’ and hit the [Del] key eleven times. leave everything else just the way it is and it will work fine.

  434. Rcheck says:

    @overweight – Great profile! I agree with Midwest ’bout the high maintenance part’, but the rest rocks!. Love the photo! Normally I don’t like shots with other people in them, but the way you cropped it looks fantastic!

    @ Midwest SB – I have a small 14 foot boat that I just love. I’ve had it for ages and take it out every summer. It’s a blast. It can’t sink and can be easily righted if it goes over, which it has more than once. Like all sailboats it can travel faster than the wind (isn’t that strange?) and the only sound you here is the wind, the water hitting the hull, and my SD screaming ‘OH MY GOD WE”RE GONNA DIE!’

    You will love it, honestly I’ve met few people who don’t. Anyone can sail one like mine after about 20 minutes of instruction and you get the hang of it real quickly. It only seats two people at a time though sometimes I’ve carried three. It can be launched from anywhere and can be carried on top of every car I’ve ever owned. People love riding in it and making the tilts is awesome. I’ve taken it to group events at lakes and such and it’s always something almost everyone enjoys.

    I wouldn’t change a thing except finding time to do it more often. I’ve sometimes thought of getting a larger boat, but honestly I’m not sure it would be any more fun than the one I have.

    You must sail! It’s a fantastic time.

    @Lisa – I understand your hardship I truly do. I’m not out to show my underwear here but I’m a 55 year old gay man. I grew up in a time when nobody told me ‘it would get better’. Getting the living shit kicked out of me was a regular part of my life. I’ve been unemployed, broke, and had no car or prospects. I understand hard times well.

    Once upon a time I found myself in a place with people that had ‘PROBLEMS’. Real problems, terrible problems, problems that would never ever go away no matter what they did. After I met these people I never felt sorry for myself again.

    I went out into the world and I smiled and was cheerful to everyone I met. When they asked me about my life I told the truth but never complained a bit. You know what? When you smile and are nice and cheerful to people they want to help you. People bend over backwards to help when they meet a nice person that is having hard times. I discovered all evidence to the contrary from my own life that the average person is pretty decent.

    It was still a struggle to be sure, but I pulled myself out of a situation that was pretty awful with the help of my new friends. I have been collecting friends ever since. Smile, be nice to everyone, and tell the truth without bias. I know it sounds like fortune cookie advice, but I assure you it is amazing the difference it makes. I now live the life I always dreamed of. A life without fear.

    I wish you all the best, and you have all of my empathy for the struggles you now face, but it can get better.

    Now I’m definitely off to bed. Sweeeet dreams all.

  435. SBsb says:

    I still can not get this avatar to work from gravatar? Not sure why?

  436. SBsb says:

    Thanks Rcheck for the props on my new and improved profile! They still are not jumping out of the wood work but thats ok I will sit back and wait! It has only been 2 weeks so like you all say it may take some time. But I do have a question for all you wonderful SBs, What is your thought process on weather a pot sd comes to your home town to meet you for the first time or he wants to fly you to meet him? I just thought it seems safer if the SD comes to you for the first time and then if things work out and a arrangement is made then ” fly, fly away” :) What are your thought? The pot Sd lives in Canada and I am in California and that is a long way from home..

  437. overweight says:

    yeah thats why i stopped reading her posts

  438. Lisa no longer has a family says:

    I challenge anyone to spend a week in Houston (in a neighborhood, not downtown) and attempt to get out an enjoy the nightlife while depending on the bus as transportation. And trying to find social groups that don’t involve alcohol and bars that meet on mondays or fridays during the day).

    ok gotta get to bed.

  439. Dallasbaby says:

    Or smoke crack out of a lobsters ass !

  440. Dallasbaby says:

    Lisa, My goodness your posts right now make me wanna jump off a cliff !

  441. overweight says:

    sigh. Good night LISA!

  442. logicallady says:

    I can’t see your profile Overweight :'(

  443. Lisa no longer has a family says:

    on the meetup site, for my area (keep in mind i have no transportation in the evening) i’m seeing an iphone meet that is not in my area and I have no Iphone, I have a cheap prepaid phone, an online meeting for photoshop users (i don’t even know what photoshop is) a physic thing in which I do not believe in also is not in my area, and some to be announced chef thing in the galleria area, not near me. I entered my zip code and found these. If you don’t have a car in houston, you aren’t going anywhere in the evening. bus service in my neighborhood stops at 630 pm. Bus that runs later is not going anywhere you would want to be at night.

    I would like to challenge anyone to spend a week in Houston riding the bus and see how limited your mobility is.

    ok gotta be getting to bed soon. Have a good night everyone.

  444. Midwest SB says:

    Overweight – WOW!!! I love, love, LOVE that picture!!!! Very artsy and mysterious. I really like your profile, but might take out the high maintenance part…that can turn away some great guys. Wow!

  445. overweight says:

    lol ok
    i took the site off i must have done it by accident because it was on my clipboard…..

    anyways Rcheck Heres my pro..

  446. Glass half full says:

    Meetup.com is a way. You can find obstacles. Or solutions.

  447. Midwest SB says:

    BTW – Great profile A! You’re smokin’

  448. Midwest SB says:

    Hmmmm….isn’t it officially plagiarism when you don’t cite quoted material from someone else’s profile into your own? I don’t mind sharing ideas and themes, but using it word for word makes us both look like we bought cookie cutter profiles. Fair enough?

    Rcheck – Sailing is on my short list…how was it? What would you do differently? What MUST you doe again? (all sailing now…)

  449. Lisa no longer has a family says:

    Logicallady, there is so much to do in my area, actually the movie theatre is visible from my bedroom window, yet i’ve never been. It is not in my budget and I loathe profanity which limits my choices. I live next to a pocket park (small narrow park) as well as a school track which I walk on a few times a week. It is so hot here in the spring/summer that anything outdoors can’t really be done safely till late evening. There is a huge bookstore in the area but it is not on the busline and too far to walk in the heat (over a mile walk along the open sidewalk by the freeway feeder(aka no shade ). I live next door to the mall but it’s depressing when you’re broke. There is a gym I wanted to join when I first moved over here, right before my sd poofed. It’s an expensive one though, can’t afford it. This area is actually one of the wealthiest in Houston so everything is expensive. Memorial villages

  450. Rcheck says:

    Had a great weekend sailing. First time this year!

    @Stephan – Thanks for the kind words, and thanks for immortalizing my toast. I am honored.

    @SBsg – Fantastic job on the profile! Looks great. I’m sure you’ll be buried in new pots soon. :)

    @Overweight Still haven’t seen your new profile, (Just the fish thing) but welcome to the fold.

    Wow, take a few days off and the blog explodes. Welcome to the new ones, and welcome back to the returning champions!

    Now I’m exhausted from catching up. Have a good evening all.

  451. Lisa no longer has a family says:

    Glass half full, I don’t have anyway to organize any meetups. I’m not good at planning anything. I have no budget to do anything, my small paychecks go rent 75 percent goes to rent). From what i’ve observed on the meetups listed on my local page, all they do is go to bars and drink on fri and sat nights. I don’t drink and at age 45 i’ve never even been to a bar, have no interest in drunks. I also have to get up at 545 am on saturdays for work,no late nights for me.
    My interests are things that I am no longer able to enjoy such as travel, shopping, gardening, doing things with family. All in all I’m useless at planning or organizing anything. i’m a follower, not a leader. It’s just not in my genetic make up.

  452. logicallady says:

    I want to challenge you to figure just 1 thing you would like to do and commit to accomplishing it…don’t worry for now HOW it will be accomplished just choose what it is you have a desire/interest to do…Out to the movies, a stroll in the park, go treasure hunting at the secondhand store for a new book etc. Once you set you goal you will be surprised how the mind will open to help you achieve it!

    Alright…this is me cleansing the vibe of the blog, on to happier topics 😀

    I want the sugars out there to share some ideas of their cheap and fun things they do around their neighborhood for those of us who are struggling due to temporary $ setbacks…

    Ready, set,……GO!

  453. Glass half full says:

    @Lisa – why don’t you organize your own meetups doing whatever it is you enjoy, at a cost you can afford, at a place and time convenient for you.

  454. Lisa without a family says:

    Meetup.com is posted on the area happenings site but it seems their get togethers are on weekends, saturdays mostly and I work every saturday, I got one sat off a year and that is when I take my vacation week. Saturdays are not negotiable at my job, that’s truck day so I cannot get off. I have my evenings free but since the buses stop running early by my apartments, I can’t travel out of the area without I can get the last bus at 630 and it doesn’t run on weekends. In Houston, the better the neighborhood, the less bus service we have, people don’t want low life bus riders coming through their neighborhoods. We have a stigma. My free time is a couple days a week during the day and it seems the majority of people want to do stuff on weekends, not monday mid day. Also those meetings from what i’ve seen cost too. They sometimes have them at the skating rink which is near me but again I have never skated and would probably break my neck trying. I have no insurance so I can’t get hurt.
    I doubt any stranger is going to give me a ride, I can’t even get a ride from a coworker when it’s pouring down rain. I try but nothing seems to work. Every time I get motivated and have a plan, things fall through.

  455. Logicallady says:

    Lisa – try looking at a site called meetup.com…you may find some meetups that peak your interest and are in the area :) You may find others who live around you that share a similar interest and willing to swing by and pick you up along the way!

  456. Lisa without a family says:

    I know I should do that but it’s difficult when you have no one but your family and are completely alone without them. My job doesn’t offer me much opportunity to make friends being that 75 percent of my coworkers are late teens early 20’s and the ones my age have families. Many of my coworkers can’t be trusted either because anytime I mention being sad or down, they report me to the management and I get called to the office.

    You know I was looking online for some things to do to keep myself occupied but there’s a snag in everything. I don’t have a car and houston is a car obsessed city with limited public transportation. Much of the things in the area are not actually in Houston and are unaccessible by bus. I found a depression research program that offered clinical trials, will pay for your time, give you free medications, and compensate for transportation needs. I called one and it is not located in my area, actually outside of houston.
    I also found a winetasting event a block from me at the new hotel restaraunt which is easily accessible for me just by walking through the mall and through the skywalk which connects. I don’t really drink but it might be an interesting thing to try and maybe meet new people. It’s even at a convenient time But reservations are required and there is a substantial cost (30 dollars) so that is out too. Seems everything is impossible because of my lack of funds and transportation. There is so much in my area to do but everything costs and the free stuff seems to be way off somewhere.

  457. Logicallady says:

    Thanks for sharing and sorry to hear; if your stepdad died mad at her I am sure he made the choice to do so based on her actions. I don’t say this very often regarding family but in rare occasions it could possibly be the best…if the people surrounding you are dangerous to your health then get rid of them – regardless who they are. It may be a temporary leave of absent until you are strong enough mentally and emotionally manage their personalities or worst case a permenant removal is needed. Perhaps it’s just recognizing what respect you expect to receive and clearly let each person know and if they are not willing to abide your wishes that they stay away until they can (natually they will be a little hostile at first…your removing the control they hold over you). And most important I would say is to recognize how they treat you is not YOUR problem, it is THEIRS; it does not reflect who you are, it reflects who they are….let it be their problem 😉 Start sticking up for yourself, demand the respect you deserve and start saying “no” when you don’t agree and OWN that no.

    Positive thinking allows positive action which creates positive results !!!!

    We’ll chat more on email 😛

  458. Lisa without a family says:

    Logicallady, you have the opportunity to make your dad’s last days memoriable. My stepdad was fine on tuesday, dead on sat morning. so fast. He was diabetic but he died of septic shock (some of that colon stuff). I remember how mean my mom was to him, she and my daughter did not even accompany him to the hospital the day he went. I could not believe when I got down to the emergency room that he had signed himself in, they were home waiting till the hospital called. I was in total shock when I got there and the paramedic told me that my mom said that “he wanted to die alone” this is how my mom is. last time she saw him when we were leaving the hospital and she was saying good night to him, he pushed her arm away. I guess he died mad at her.

  459. Lisa without a family says:

    Sweet.and.spicy: This conflict has been going on for 6 years, everytime my family doesn’t get thier way, they turn against me.

    Logicallady, I lost my real dad 9 years ago but he and my mom seperated when I was 2 and I only seen him sporadicly and hadn’t seen him since I was 15, 21 years before he died. I had no way to visit him up north and he could not travel. My stepdad that had been in my life since I was 6 died suddenly on christmas day. Got sick on the 22rd . when we left him at the hospital on chriistmad eve as we had to get home before dark (we live close to the hospital and none of us have cars) he was alert, then started failing hours later, we were out walking at 4 am to spend his last moments with him and he was already unconscious. It was a cold gloomy day and we were all alone as we couldn’t really call anyone on christmas day.

    Blog gods please send my email to Logicallady.

  460. logicallady says:

    Lisa – I’m in the process of losing my dad so my heart goes out to you. I know how terrible I feel most days while he’s still here so I can only imagine what a year from now will feel like. All I can say is live life to the best so you can make him proud :) I have a couple of audios if you’d like to give them a listen, may do some good to get back to a positive outlook, just ask the gods for my email and we can chat offline further.

    Sweet.and.Spicy – I’ll log into my email tonight and send you the diet info 😉


  461. Sweet.and.spicy says:

    Lisa without a family I feel for you and wish for the best for you. Yes, life can get hard but the beautiful part is when we overcome it. (and we always do).

    Logicallady, the blog gods must work fast because I already received your email address! Very cool!

    Also, I have read all of the information available and I find it all quite helpful and amazing. WOW. It puts me a little more at ease knowing what my options are and ways to be safe on this site.

  462. Lisa without a family says:

    Percy (my bird) likes popcorn, ruffles chips and those tiny black sunflower seeds but not the ones that come bagged by themselves, they have to come from a regular wild birdseed mix.

  463. Lisa without a family says:

    This family conflict has been going on for 6 years, off and on. I am always left out of stuff.

    I am in a rut, hard to get motivated because everytime I try something new, everything comes to a stopping point and things don’t get accomplished. I moved over here last year thanks to my last sd, things were going great, I had been busy the last year with sds (had 3 different ones over the year) and the last one was great, he moved me , visited a couple times, talked about what we were going to do next time and then poofed. I emailed him several times, he read my messages but didnt’ reply. He was still active on another site several months later so I know he didn’t die or get caught.

    I have had a rough year, dad died on christmas day, had problems at work and had to take mandatory therapy for my depression which didn’t work because since I had to waive my rights to confidently or be terminated, I could not be honest with my phychologist. After 2 months treatment, she said I was fine, this is so not true. I have had some issues at work recently and my boss was suggesting I go back into therapy. Of course this time it would be at my expense which is out of the question, I don’t have money to through away on useless therapy crap. I don’t have any real skills and no money or time to learn anything new as my job sucks all my energy out of me.

  464. Logicallady says:

    Lisa, family issues are tough at times, sometime people forget what they are taking for granted :) I’m sure things will turn around for you soon on this front. I totally hear you when you speak of jobs (or life in general) killing your spirits, try to find a few small things in life that you can focus on, I started meditation, mind cleansing and hypnosis…it was the greatest! actually I’ve been meaning to take it up again since I have being a little overwhelmed with things the past few weeks.

    Sweet.and.spicy – love the name btw 😉 the blog gods are the one’s who answer our prayers on this blog, they see and know all! Give it a day or two and you’ll have my email address. Got to love animals, one of my cats will sneak broccolli off my plate if I haven’t put the dishes away 😛

  465. Lisa without a family says:

    I try to take a walk everyday. I live in a great community and there are many nice places to walk but the heat and humidity which is around from may-october make it difficult. I can’t walk in the early mornings because I have to work but I try to get out on the track behind my apartment in the early evening. Had been going 8-10 laps a day until a couple months ago when I stopped and lost motivation. Just got back to it last week, only doing 4 laps now because of my leg and my energy is just not like it used to be.

  466. Sweet.and.spicy says:

    Logicallady, who are these blog gods you mentioned?

    It has been raining the past few days and it is beautiful and sunny today! Yay, because I started taking morning walks (love taking morning walks in the city, it’s so quiet and nice) last week as part of my new lifestyle and then the rain happened. My plan is to start walking, increase pace to speed walking, move my way to jogging, and than running. I keep having these dreams where I am just running and it feels amazing. So I have come to the conclusion that it is something I need to be doing.

    Speaking of pets, I had an old roommate who’s cat Gia had a favorite treat. That treat was ready whip. (just a cute little tid bit)

  467. Anna Molly says:

    What phase of the sugar are you in at the moment? Searching for your ideal arrangement? Currently in a sugar relationship? I’m not in a phase at this moment. I’m not actively searching and I’m certainly not in a sugarship. I guess you could say I’m just going with the flow

    What kind of sugar choices (if any) are you in the midst of making? Not in the midst of making any choices right now.

    Have you had any sweeeet surprises with a SD or SB? Have you found any benefits you didn’t originally expect from sugar? No, none I can think of.

  468. Lisa without a family says:

    ok just got home. Actually a little less humid today and I didn’t get sweaty walking across the street, lol

    Yes being honest can screw you sometimes. My fridge is always empty. I have enough to get some groceries every week but was using that money to treat my mom and daughter to coffee and a burger every week so I have been dipping into my rent money to buy food. I cut them off two weeks ago to use my money for food and thus we have a family conflict. My daughter makes good money and is only 20 but expects me to buy stuff for her. It’s difficult but on my income I can’t afford to treat my family when they are much better off than I am.
    I’ve had some great sds in the past, but not in over a year. I’m trying to build some savings and would like to have time to learn a new skill so I could dump my crappy job (it is killing my body and spirit) but I can’t seem to find one so i’m stuck.

  469. Sbsb says:

    Good Morning sugar land and I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend and i wish everyone a rockin’ Monday

  470. logicallady says:


    Awe poor birdie! I would do the same thing, sounds like he has a great mommy. I can’t stand seeing animals abused or mistreated.

    Enjoy the starbucks, I’m hoping my IRL unofficial SD will be calling soon so I can have a good lunch..haven’t eaten anything all day and I have no food in the fridge…he gave me some money last week to buy some shorts but I saw a gorgeous dress that I just couldn’t pass up…maybe I can get a few more bucks to buy shorts or food with!

    My EI benefits have been put on hold because I was honest and reported to the government that I took a training class (in efforts to gain employment) so because I chose not to just sit around doing nothing I’m on hold pending approval if they want to pay me for the time I took training…you’d think they would be please I make an effort but instead I get penalized for it. Got to wait 3 weeks but it doesn’t help with mortgage, maintenance fees, and insurance all coming up :'(

  471. Lisa no longer has a family says:

    Thanks logicallady. Unfortunately my job requires heavy lifting and standing all day so its impossible to take it easy.

    I took my bird in 3 years ago (he is a pigeon that was born in a flower pot on my porch) at that time I was living in the ghetto and came home from work to find both of them knocked out their nest by the kids downstairs and his sibling smashed and hit with a broom (found my bloody broom laying on the ground). He was huddled closed to his dead sibling, I brought him in and had to teach him to eat (he was less than a month old). Now he is quite a flirt.

    Having a latte at starbucks now. I live across from the mall which is great. Wish I had a sd so I could enjoy it, lol

  472. logicallady says:

    Hey Lisa

    My bird is the same way…I can’t believe she is still living…mind you she seems to adore toast, I can’t even unwrap the bag of bread without her squawking away throughout the toasting process. And a potato chip…oh forget it, she gets the first bite!

    I hope your leg gets better soon, I had smashed my knee off the ice one year and took a good 3 months before I could have proper use of it. Take care of it and try not to strain it further 😀

    Midwest, my guy was nice to about it, he just became separated and admitted that he just wasn’t ready for the dating scene thing and we both let each other down gracefully.

  473. logicallady says:

    Dear blog gods, please send sweet.and.spicy my email. Thank you!

  474. Lisa without a family says:

    I weighted 83 lbs my senior year in highschool, of course I never had breakfast or lunch, weighed 91 in my adult life, 98 after my daughter was born, and now unfortunately I can’t get down past 113 . I never dreamed i’d be fat but it looks like I am. My mom is 71 and weights 92 lbs, weighed it all her life. I wish I could afford to eat right but I can’t.

  475. Lisa without a family says:

    Midwest Hope you’re feeling better

    Percy is fine. Had to get him another bag of birdseed as he is so picky he will only eat one part of the seed and he had a half full bag but i’d given him all the good seeds. I think he would starve to death before he’d eat the other parts. So spoiled and picky.

    I haven’t heard from Gail in a month, I’m worried, have sent her several emails and nothing. I hope she’s just busy.

    Feeling very bored and tired lately. I hurt my leg over a week ago and it hurts everyday. I can’t stay off of it obviously so I guess it will be like my left leg that still hurts almost 3 years after I almost fell of a ladder on my first day of work (I missed the last step and my leg went down and pulled a muscle I guess) Not sure what is wrong with my right leg. The pain comes and goes and sometimes i’m even limping, yikes.

  476. MIdwest SB says:

    Overweight – It looks like you fixed it.

    Hi Lisa! How’s popcorn Percy? Where has Gail been?

    Logicallady- It so true and it’s why I screen profiles probably harder than most. I don’t mind dealing with a newbie if he has an open mind. This guy was even nice and realized it was his mistake rather than those who get offended and take it out on the women. There seem to be more and more of them lately. I’ve even quit looking at non-paying members unless they have a specified allowance range listed.

    Congrats on the weight loss Honey. I’ve been lucky to maintain my high school weight + or – 10lbs, but I’d like to shed that last little bit AND feel better. The cleansing makes sense to me. I’ve watched my mom go on one diet after another and the repercussions were dramatic. I vowed never to go down that road…thank goodness for some good genes and an early awareness of taking care of myself. I think I’ll stay away from Olympian diets myself. Atkins works, but I don’t believe you should force your body into ketosis.

  477. Overweight says:

    Yesterday after my friend mentioned plentfish I googled his email and found his ad much like when we were dating by an innocent email google .. And I cope pasted it into a message to her idk how it got as a link to my sa blognprofile
    Oh my like a sick joke
    And I’m on my iPhone it is extremely hard to type and sen harder to correct your typing

  478. Lisa without a family says:

    Good morning Midwest, Honey, everyone

  479. Sweet.and.spicy says:


    I am truly surprised at how nice and welcoming everyone is. I feel like this is going to be my favorite place to seek solace when going out into the SA world to find my SD. It is very intimidating.

    To Logicallady, I would like info on the olympians diet if you would please.

  480. Overweight says:

    I don’t know why that profile is linking to my name
    I don’t even know how to link to my name
    Please tell me how this happened or how I can stop it
    It’s actually my ex who broke my heart
    Yesterday my friend suggested me going on pof and I refused saying
    My ex is on there and I want nothing to do with him
    Not even b on the same site as him
    This is terrible please help me make it stop

  481. logicallady says:

    Oh and way to go Honey on the weight loss accomplishment so far!!!

  482. logicallady says:

    Gooooood morning Sugars!

    Welcome newbies 😀

    Overweight – Nice pic 😉 Strange that your link goes to some guys plenty-o-fish site lol

    Hey Midwest, I had a dude who did the same thing, wanted regular dating but was using SA…I gave him a chance but the first date we went to a mid-class steak house (I figured fair enough since we hadn’t agreed to an arrangement and perhaps testing the waters before shelling out for a high end joint. The worst part was when we went out the first night he was wearing a crappy white tee shirt with a cheap lame ass sweater vest and some terrible no name watch. the second date he took me to the movies (?!?!) and of all things started criticizing a guy who was wearing clothes from 10 years ago but then in the same sentence said he shops at Walmart :S I don’t get these chumps who clearly can’t even fake their way through a first date! Guess it was my mistake for choosing to go on the second date 😛

    For anyone interested, my sister-in-law used the Suzzane Somers Diet and OMG did fantastic by dropping over 50 lbs. in a few short months. I’m not a dieter but I do recommend anyone trying to shed some pounds to check it out. There is a second diet I know of which is pretty hard to stick with but it’s what the olymipians use when preparing for their games; it’s a 2 week diet where you drop 10-20 lbs. I’ve seen the results both in my brother-in-law and my daughter. If anyone is interested I can post the details (I only have a hard copy and can’t find it anywhere online).

    Happy Monday!

  483. Sweet.and.spicy says:

    Good morning ladies,

    Thank you I will definitely check out the information.

    I came here because, not only do some of these men have a wealth of knowledge they seem like they need affection as well. I am looking for someone I can cook for, and spoil and in return have them spoil me as well as mentor me.

    Also, I am on the same path as Overweight. I am a bigger girl that wants to slim down so I can keep up with my active life. I personally think I am really pretty but could still stand to loose a few.

  484. Honey says:

    Hello all, I’ve been doing the low- calorie, low, fat,sugar,starch diet, since I have been here,lost 6 pounds. Overweight- you are gorgeous!!! Welcome newbies. As was said before, look on the right of the page and/or look at the names of people and click, you may be taken to another link….
    Sarabi-great job! when are you seeing him next? If you like him and he is upfront about an arrangement that suits you both, I would definitely go for it!!! Have a great day all. Hi Lisa !

  485. MIdwest SB says:

    Good morning!

    Sweet.and.spicy – There are lots of links to the right of the blog just for anyone starting out. There’s a wealth of information, so check it out! We’d love to hear about your adventure!

    Me – one poofer and one who decided he was better suited to e-harmony. After all this time, it still impresses me that men come here instead of the other dating sites. Meh…I’m glad I didn’t spend too much time on e-mails etc.

    Dallasbaby – I’ve been looking for a good cleanse and this has come up a few times. I have chronic kidney stones, so I’m hoping it will help flush my kidneys as well. I’ve tried the cayenne pepper, lemon, organic syrup mix, but I’m just not willful enough to fast for three days. I ordered the two month supply with the tea. Keep ya posted!

  486. Anna Molly says:

    Happy Monday everyone! Hope all of you had a fantastic weekend! 😀

  487. fancy face says:

    Hello everyone
    Welcome sweet and spicy

  488. Sweet.and.spicy says:

    Hello Ladies,

    Any advice for a newbie?

  489. Dallasbaby says:

    OMG its true…when i click your name overweight it goes to a guys profile !

  490. Dallasbaby says:

    overweight – The dr natura is more expensive but it is rated number one as other do not do the job as well. If you look at the website you will see the huge monsters that will come out of your colon that is old rotting meat ! You will notice a difference in just 3 days of bloating being gone. I went from 130 pounds to 105 !

  491. Dallasbaby says:

    Speak your mind, and fear less the label of ‘crackpot’ than the stigma of conformity. And on issues that seem important to you

  492. Michael Alleycat says:

    Hey Overweight – is there any reason you name is linked to a guy’s profile on Plenty of Fish?

  493. overweight says:

    Ohh yaah Hi Guys =)

  494. overweight says:

    well that didnt work ill try putting the pic URL under the website..

  495. overweight says:


    oKk trying to figure out this avatar thing i went on gravatar……

  496. overweight says:

    @ honey I really like you, actually I really like all the girls on here, the positive ones =)
    They are all very classy and smart!
    I used to use my same name as my personal screen name but I thought I shouldnt do that, just in case.. so when I feel like I’m at a good weight, I will change it to something else that describes me <3 ! I enjoy all the SB's useful tips on weight loss!

  497. overweight says:

    brutal dallas baby! well I am almost finished my second day of the colon cleanse, i chose an organic one, its called cleansesmart, its not only for colon but liver kidney etc as well too! I have to drink a lot of water and cant really eat after 6 as i go to sleep at 9 usually and i cant eat 3 hours before i take my last pill! The water/not eating thing/upping my fiber and cleaning out my colon will help with weight loss hopefully stop me from craving bad food and give me more energy! This morning I woke up early, didn’t sleep all last night either, and wasn’t sluggish tired and in need of coffee as i usually am in the morning it felt great! Haven’t had coffee all day, I would like to cut it out as it is bad for your colon apparently, (sugar, starch and coffee create a bad enviro in there.. ), and probably help keep me more hydrated as coffee is pretty dehydrating anyway! Also there is always those moments when I get caught seemingly having bad breath but its the coffee and I havent had a chance to have my green tea yet after!!

  498. Dallasbaby says:

    Sarabi – money upfront is the best way…not sure why you think it is not discreet. Do you want a fake credit card with no money on it like a guy did to me ?

  499. Sarabi says:

    Hi everyone! So, I had my first date with a sd today and it went really well! He’s so much fun!!! Omg, I wanted him so bad but I was good. He wants to have an arrangement…

    So, how do you do the whole arrangement thing? I mean, does the guy just hand you an envelope with cash in it or something? Omg, I hope it’s more discreet then that… :O

  500. Honey says:

    Hola Intelligentsia, nice haul,esp. the slippers filled with hundreds!! If your current daddy is not up to snuff for whatever reason work on finding that replacement…

  501. Intelligentsia says:

    What phase of the sugar are you in at the moment? Searching for your ideal arrangement? Currently in a sugar relationship? …..I’m currently in an excellent FINANCIAL sugar arrangement but I am not happy with my sugardaddy. He is very loud, overbearing, jealous, and suspicious. I’ve decided to begin searching for someone else. I have been in this arrangement for 3 years… finding someone to replace my current allowance has proven VERY difficult.

    What kind of sugar choices (if any) are you in the midst of making? Accepting a lesser allowance… yikes.

    Have you had any sweeeet surprises with a SD or SB? Have you found any benefits you didn’t originally expect from sugar? Before my current SD, I had another long-term arrangement with a wonderful gentleman. We had a simple travel arrangement but when we weren’t traveling, he would mail me presents. These things ranged from a full bedroom set to a computer, to slippers filled with 100’s, etc. He was VERY generous. I loved him to death and we remain friends to this day. :)

  502. overweight says:

    sorry honey i didnt know you were offering my your name…. i did see where you changed yourse though =)

  503. Overweight says:

    I’m not sure how to put up a pic

  504. MIdwest SB says:

    Bog Gods – Could you please give Dallasbaby my e-mail? Thanks! ***Bows***

  505. Dallasbaby says:

    Midwest- I am still confused as to what you are trying to say. I doubt most people keep up with these blogs like we do once a new blog topic comes around. Far to many posts ! Perhaps we are famous in our minds…lol !

  506. Dallasbaby says:

    That how I found out about thedirty is I googled an sd’s name and he came up on that site. I think it is a great tool for a warning. Like the site says, if you are a good person chances are you will not get posted but if you screw people over then be ready to be put on BLAST !!!!

  507. MIdwest SB says:

    No….our gents depend on our discretions. We need to do everything to protect our little circle and this blog can be read by any lurker who decides to pose on another community. I’m not trying to sound paranoid, but it’s been happening lately and some are literally going through friends for anything that doesn’t seem right. Just sayin.

  508. Lisa without a family says:

    Sorry to hear you’re not feeling well Midwest.

    Hello Honey, others

    Woke up with a headache myself and of course my leg is hurting again. Been hurting for over a week.
    Well it seems my mother/daughter relationship is based on whether or not I buy my daughter shampoo. She makes 1600 take home a month and I make 800 and she expects me to pay for her stuff while she spent less than 10 dollars on me on mother day. Mom said she thought I liked buying my daughter’s stuff. I made the mistake of when I had sds, I over indulged my family and now that i’m broke, they still expect stuff. Mom wonders why i’m depressed when I have a job and a great sd that pays my rent (I never did tell here he poofed over a year ago). yeah right i’ve got a job that makes me very unhappy and no sd paying my rent.

    OK back to a very boring day.

  509. Overweight says:

    Also if u post them
    On the dirty with their full name it will come up in google 😮

  510. Dallasbaby says:

    Midwest- did i miss something ? I do not read all the blog posts just some …what was the ” sabotage ” ? I must have glanced over it.

  511. MIdwest SB says:

    Dallasbaby – Sorry chica…in kind of a funk today.

    Let’s use a little discretion ladies. Our little circle is precious and there is always someone wanting to sabotage our fun :-)

  512. Dallasbaby says:

    Midwest- I am not the one who said they showed thedirty to my daughter, some other chicky wrote that. lol !

    I had a date last night and I was kinda feeling weird, everyone was looking at me with a 60 year old. people facing forward where looking back at us. OMG !

  513. City Gal by the Lake says:

    @SBsb: i totally love your pictures… your sense of humor comes through… i love it… keep in touch… ^_^

    @Torontoblondie: local SB friends… i love that… we should all go for a cuppa coffee, sometime… ^_^ how’s your sugar relationship so far??? keep me posted…

    @Sugars everywhere: hope your sugar life is sweet… ^_^

    I’m arranging to meet a potential pot, next week sometime… I’ll see how that goes… ^_^

  514. Dallasbaby says:

    Thedirty works though, it gets the word out for sure and nine times out of ten the person you posted on finds out because its that popular !!! I had to post on one of my stalkers and about a month later they found out . people find out they are on it then try to defend themselves. I think any other warning on other sites will fall on deaf ears. For once you can fight big in a big way !

  515. Jessie says:

    LOL @ Honey. You’re such a hoot.

    @Midwest – I was sooo tired last night when I logged on that I must have just breezed over your post. Hope you feel better soon.

    If I tell you my favorite movie it might cause you to hurl :), so I’ll suggest something else. Although I’m not a fan of Will Ferrell, The Other Guys, wasn’t that bad, The Ghost Writer was also okay. I much preferred, The A Team, (if you want Liam Neeson at his best just go straight to Taken instead), Iron Man 2, The Book of Eli, Clash of the Titans, The Expendables (poor imitation of The A Team, but I still had to watch because of Jason Statham…You could also check out The Mechanic for the same reason). For something a little bit tamer, The Proposal, It’s Complicated, 2012.

  516. torontoblondie says:

    Honey are you on the FB community, then I can upload a picture and show you the picture of my dog :) :)

    And I looked the last blog, city gal by the lake, is Torontonian right? I was wondering if there were any other sugar babies is their 20’s in Toronto that wanted to be friends :) :)

  517. Honey says:

    hi overweight!, so you’re not taking my name? well your loss, you could have been overweight Honey Brown and really ’twas the english major in me that wanted a noun for a name

    and nice pic logical! Lovely!
    overweight where is yourn? show us some skin….

  518. Logicallady says:

    Thanks for simmering the the pot overweight, you allowed your silence to stir up quite a lot of controversy and kept the blog alive at a time of day it would have normally been passive for us bored-to-death SB’s on a Saturday night 😉

    Honey -gravatar as requested 😛

  519. Honey says:

    First get all better everybody, whether ill or tending to the ill.
    Midwest, and SB
    And THANKS
    Toronto Blondie, I AM downright jealous of you seeing the Killers in person, vip,nice..
    I’m going to set him up with a young peasant girl! I have already mentioned it, yes he says he wants no one but me, but that’s because he is new to the sugarworld and ready to leave it. His wife did not have sex with him for 15 years and he never cheated, until he got back from Iraq, working as a contractor for oodles of money. That’s when he got depressed, having to come home to her . He told his family dr. who is also his wife’s doctor and the dr. said you need to have sex! The wife wasn’t about to put out after 15 years, so he started seeing other people. I was like the 5th or sixth person he had dated. I however have been having sex the last 15 years and still want to play in the sugarbowl. he knows this but says he can’t help how he feels. Soo…I shall have to find him a replacement for me since I am NOT going to marry him bossy, manipulative I know, but the alternatives would hurt him even more than the other options, I feel.
    He’s a great, caring sweet guy who takes care of ALL my needs. I don’t want to see him hurt ,ever. His wife left him feeling inadequate, when he’s never ever been and he fears he will be alone. That’s why I think he wants to keep me. But I think we shall start dating and maybe he will find a young thang who wants to have his kids. (his wife was barren)We are going to get a pair of dogs,maybe labradoodles, to raise while we are together. Hugs!

  520. overweight says:

    @jessie yup u explained it correct:

    This is the third time someone has suggested that overweight change her name. Why? A name doesn’t affect everyone in the same fashion. Perhaps she’s using “overweight” as an incentive. She’s matter-of-fact about her weight and has already started making the changes to lose the weight. She certainly doesn’t sound depressed or even like she has wide-spread low self-esteem. She’s simply making a factual statement. I’m overweight. So what? It’s not that difficult to come up with a fun, catchy, clever, whatever kind of name. This is the name she choose…which means this is the name she’d like to be known by.

    I wonder if when that SD who went by Fat, Bald and Ugly, (or something close) anyone asked him to change his name.

    mind you i dont mind that the ladies are suggesting i change it i know its coming from a good place and i dont have the need to defend or anything or even be stubborn as in not changing it.

    @logicallady’s post of:
    Please understand that it has not gone unnoticed by myself on the occasions which people have requested her to change her name that she did not post a response to support or defend her position on the matter and I would therefore assume she has no problem with her choice to use this name.

    you got it 😉

    @ jessies post:

    I don’t know if there has been many arrangements made with SDs and SBs just through posting on the blog; so I fail to see how your “blog name” will have much impact on your search. I haven’t seen overweight’s profile, so I don’t know how catchy her profile name or headline is. I assumed, because the blog is so public, that majority of the posters have a totally different identity in their profile than their blog posts. Take me for instance…I am far from argumentative in my profile , and you might find a SB listed as Jessie, but it certainly won’t be me.

    Yes this is true 😉

  521. Logicallady says:

    Welcome back to the blogs Torontoblondie! You can still stay true to your current SD without staying away from the blogs…I like reading your updates, drama, and everything in-between 😉

    I agree with you that the sugarlife in the states is quite different from the one in our beautiful city…many different challenges on this side of the border!

  522. torontoblondie says:

    What phase of the sugar are you in at the moment? Searching for your ideal arrangement? Currently in a sugar relationship?

    Currently in one :)

    What kind of sugar choices (if any) are you in the midst of making?

    I guess I should ask my new young SD for a more stable allowance, he gave me $$ in the beginning so it’s not like I lost anything yet. But I’m traveling to spend two nights with him in Montreal and I would usually ask guys for 3,500 for a trip like that but I’m not sure if I should ask etc etc, I really like this guy outside of the sugar realm and the things he has to offer is astonishing, we will be flying out to London at the end of June before my exams to see the Killers and meet them with VIP access etc etc for a 2 day trip because thats all I can take :p Once he’s done launching the new website we’ll have more time together, but it’s almost been a month since we last saw each other hence why I’m going to go see him as he doesn’t have time to come to Toronto. (Remember he’s not like the last SD and he isn’t double my age so he’s more of a BF then anything – and I did want to leave the sugar game but I was originally planning to after I finish university)

    Have you had any sweeeet surprises with a SD or SB? Have you found any benefits you didn’t originally expect from sugar?
    Not really yet. I was supposed to do traveling with the ex old SD but I ended it with him, he was just so controlling and always changed our dates around to fit his work schedule and never held his promises.

    – I’m not much of the asking type as people can tell, I’m pretty intimated to ask for anything –

    I haven’t been on the blog for awhile as I stopped going on my profile to stay trueee to my new SD.

    Honeyyy Honneeyy Honneyy — well I’m VERY happy for you, you get what you want because you demand it and like you stated before you have a great success rate if you meet anyone in person because it’s your personality. I don’t think you are bragging at all, what other women have to notice ESPECIALLY THE CANADIANS is that the sugar game is very different in the states, there are more men and they pay less taxes 😉 And Cleo we are in a city that has a HUGE sex trade, if you go to Vancouver escorts get paid twice as much as they do in Toronto (my friend used to work and live in Vancouver). Because there are so many other women to compete with what we can ask for in Toronto is less than lets say NY.

    And for your giving your SD away, have you joined the sugar facebook community, there are a lot of loving black SB’s on there, just make sure you find one that ones to stay loyal to one guy and make sure ur SD is fine with a switch lol it may be you he’s in love with not your looks and trust me to replicate a strong female is a hard one oxoxoxox honey p.s. Thedirty which PLEASE women DO NOT GO ON THAT SITE, do not give him any right to bash people, it is an AMERICAN SITE, (which just got popular in the vancouver scene last month) if it were based in Canada our laws would shut it down, but the freedom of speech is much more lenient in the states :( :( :( Its run by a guy that goes by nick richiiee but thats not his real name its something super foreign but that guy tries to sound white. The website bashed women, calls them whores, sluts, makes lies that they have STD’s without any proof. It is definitely not for posting any scammers of this site onto… thats what the FB community is about. It’s not about scammers or losers, it’s community gossip site where you can post ‘dirt’ about anyone, and I’m pretty sure they don’t care about our problems. A lot of girls took the site to warn girls about certain guys on FB….

  523. Logicallady says:

    @Jessie – Absolutely agree with you…it may have no connotation on overweight or others; the point I was getting across was simply that it does have a negative impact to some viewers (just as underweight could have), it’s neither right or wrong on either side…and in all honesty I’m generally a fence sitter on such matters, after-all who am I to ask someone to change a personal choice they have made to title themselves as such? The answer is Nobody! :) and is why on a personal level have never posted to overweight to do so 😉

    Please understand that it has not gone unnoticed by myself on the occasions which people have requested her to change her name that she did not post a response to support or defend her position on the matter and I would therefore assume she has no problem with her choice to use this name.

    And yes, it was my assumption (I know…tisk, tisk) that if you’ve chosen the name as your screen name for blogging that it reflected against your profile which obviously may have no relativity whatsoever…this is my bad 😉

    @Midwest – Touche! Sometimes our minds are wide open and other times wide shut, great call out to not dismiss something to quickly :) Hope you’re feeling much better, keep resting up for such a serious illness…there’s no such thing as too much rest…need some homemade chicken soup? lol

    @Honey….uh, size 11 shoe…uh, bossy? Perhaps I will find some time to link up a gravatar :) This weekend as been overly busy and stressful, doesn’t matter how old you kid gets when they become sick, it always seems to be a 24 hour job to get them better…exhausting; guess who will be the next one to get sick :s

    @SBsb – love the profile too…good work 😀

    LL 😉

  524. MIdwest SB says:

    Muse – Thanks sweets! (((hugs))) Take good care of my mistress!

    SBsb – Make sure you are using the same e-mail address on gravatar as you use here. It will take a little time for it to kick in.

    Honey – YW

  525. SBsb says:

    Good Morning sugar land ! I hope you are all having a fabulous weekend.

    Midwest- good I am glad you liked my updated profile! Yes it now short and sweet and not all drawn out. So here is to the women over 30 ! Woo Hoo!

    Honey- I have tried to get a avatar at gravatar. com and I have no idea why it is not working for me!

  526. Muse says:

    Midwest- I’m sorry you’re not feeling well and hope you recover quickly!

  527. Honey says:

    Hi Midwest, good note! I need to remind myself!

  528. MIdwest SB says:

    If you’re going to change your avatars, remember that the pictures are linked with wherever you use the avatar e-mail address. It can link you back to here, so make sure you just use your sugar e-mail.

  529. MIdwest SB says:

    SBsb – LOVE the updated profile!!! Now, go get ’em! Sundays are typically known as high traffic days, so you should have some responses pretty quickly. Log in frequently today.

  530. MIdwest SB says:

    Fat, Bald and Ugly was a sweet and genuine gentleman. He sponsored a little gathering for sugars and his moniker reflects his sense of humor. Have an open mind ladies.

    …and yes, arrangements have happened on the blog.

    Dallasbaby – Good for you for sharing thedirty with your daughter. A lady can never be too safe. Hopefully it will make her aware without making her paranoid. There’s a fine balance there. I’m always using other people’s actions to demonstrate to my young gentleman what to/ what not to do as he grows up. It’s working out beautifully.

    Still not feeling good :( I slept for 20/ 24 hours yesterday. Looking up movies on netflix today.

  531. Honey says:

    Overweight, sugarizy,Jessie,Logicallady, let’s get some gravatars gravatar.com. I wanna see your scrawny/not scrawny pics up there!


  532. Honey says:

    Good Morning, All Things Bright and Beautiful!!
    If Overweight wishes to remain Overweight then I support her choice. But I might fight Jessie for the name Argumentative…! and I’m sure fat,bald and ugly had other things, namely Money
    to help him along with his plight….

  533. Jessie says:

    @Logicallady – the name overweight may have a negative connotation for you…no saying what effect it has on overweight.

    I don’t know if there has been many arrangements made with SDs and SBs just through posting on the blog; so I fail to see how your “blog name” will have much impact on your search. I haven’t seen overweight’s profile, so I don’t know how catchy her profile name or headline is. I assumed, because the blog is so public, that majority of the posters have a totally different identity in their profile than their blog posts. Take me for instance…I am far from argumentative in my profile :), and you might find a SB listed as Jessie, but it certainly won’t be me.

    BTW, Fat, Bald and Ugly did extremely well, and had absolutely no problem meeting SBs.

  534. Honey says:

    Thanks Dallas, I am NOT web savvy at all….and you are most certainly welcome sugarizy and it’s not unusual really, it’s what works for you at this time in your life.
    Logicallady. I will happily give you 10 to 20 of my pounds, I don’t need them anymore!! take em,please.!!! And thanks, I like my skin color, I compare it to Madagascan chocolate, the color, and I’m going to go out on a limb and mention that it is the softest skin ever, I think that must be my secret weapon, all the guys I’ve ever dated and all my friends always mention it. It’s the softest part of me,much softer than my tongue,which I’m told can be very harsh. Scrawny, huh? I would love to be able to wear a low cut wraparound blouse……

  535. Dallasbaby says:

    thedirty has different states you can post in if you go to the top and click the state… but also if you post a real name on it it pops right up on google !

  536. sugarizy says:

    Honey thanks for your kind words! And that poem is lovely. This arrangement is too good to give up and I know he knows how I feel, so it’s honest. It’s just unusual, but if it works, it works :)

  537. Logicallady says:

    I must correct my post…the last tiny paragraph should have been directed to Size 11 shoe 😉

  538. Logicallady says:

    @Jessie – The reason why it has been mentioned 3 times for her to change her name is simply because she HAS said she is trying to loose weight and that she is not at her DESIRED weight…thus in itself is a clear statement reflecting she isn’t valuing her full potential of who she current is and having a negative name sure doesn’t support her initiative to reach her goals.

    I agree with you that she has the right to choose whatever name she feels will attract the right men to her profile however we on the blog site always give open honest opinions when others (regardless of the topic) may be limiting their potential success on marketing themselves to the widest audience possible.

    You must admit, we are here to market ourselves…if I saw a profile stating Fat, Bald, and Ugly I certainly wouldn’t check it out…not because the image matters but because it is clear the profiler isn’t confident in what they are advertising. If you can’t attract me with your name/headline then why on earth will I take the time to find out if you’ve connected with me within the body of the profile…most likely you won’t or the name/headline would have mirrored the text within.

    Maybe I should change my screen name to scrawny, underweight, flat-chested chick..how many SD’s do ya think that will attract?

    But this is just my personal view 😉

    @honey – you make me jealous a second time…first with the natural tan and now rubbing in my face the curves you possess. No matter what I try I just can’t gain a pound :'(

  539. Size 11 shoe (formally known as Honey) says:

    I get you Jessie, I haven’t kept up with all the posts…I just thought the name uninspiring, but I’m not the one who gets to pick and choose… I see people’s names, fake or otherwise to show alittle of their personality, that’s all. I wear size 11 in tennis shoes.. tells you nothing except that I wear size 11 tennis shoes, not a crime but not the coolest name either. Maybe she is using it the way you suggested. I’ll ask her.
    Honey yelling up the virtual stairs, “Overweight!!!!!! Why is your name an adjective and not a noun?” What are you trying to do to me? You can take my name, I’m going by size 11 shoe now….Do with it what you will….
    signed, the sugarbaby formally known as Honey Brown

  540. Jessie says:

    This is the third time someone has suggested that overweight change her name. Why? A name doesn’t affect everyone in the same fashion. Perhaps she’s using “overweight” as an incentive. She’s matter-of-fact about her weight and has already started making the changes to lose the weight. She certainly doesn’t sound depressed or even like she has wide-spread low self-esteem. She’s simply making a factual statement. I’m overweight. So what? It’s not that difficult to come up with a fun, catchy, clever, whatever kind of name. This is the name she choose…which means this is the name she’d like to be known by.

    I wonder if when that SD who went by Fat, Bald and Ugly, (or something close) anyone asked him to change his name.

  541. Honey says:

    Thanks overweight,ever think about changing your name, maybe fat and sassy? or big and busty…I just don’t see anybody but a confirmed chubby chaser responding to that moniker…. I’m all about putting one’s best face(or features) forward. So what if you are not at your desired weight, that still doesn’t make you chopped liver!! What’s your best feature? play it up,girl!! I was hesitant to put my pic up here,(not being at MY proper weight, myself)but then I said”what the heck, at least one or two guys like me just the way I am right now. that has to be worth something…” so far …

  542. Logicallady says:

    Good evening sugars!

    Wow what a lot of action on the blogs over the last few days that I’ve been MIA!

    @SomeRandomSD – I agree with MIdwest that she did you a favor :) No need to go further and have her disappear after real time has been invested…but I totally share your frustration on that front, I can’t stand when pots break off the communication for no apparent reason at all…apparently someone invited the kids to the grown-ups party :S

    @Dallasbaby – Loved checking out thedirty website…my daughter and I laughed our butts off at some of the ish posted! (Yes I know…who check’s this stuff out with their kid?…I do! I wanna make sure she’s aware whats out there in the real world for young women to fall prey to/or what happens if their photo reaches the wrong hands be it through a catty ex friend or an ex bf)

    Oh and I loved everybody sharing their profiles this week, great support!

  543. overweight says:

    @honey, the dirty isnt based out of canada, but most of the posts are from canada esp vancouver area =(

  544. SBsb says:

    Oh friends! I changed my profile with all your lovely advice! Take a peek at the new improved one and tell me what you think:)

  545. MIdwest SB says:

    RandomSD – She may have had some emergency or distraction. It happens to me on rare occasion, but I’m always careful enough to say, I have to go…can we talk later.

    Otherwise, she did you a favor.

  546. MIdwest SB says:

    Amanda – new profiles get a LOT of attention. You’ll have to weed through a lot of fakes at first because you’re “new meat”. Hopefully, you will find a gem in the mix.

    Also see Beach Girls post above on how your URL should look when you link it here. Just remember that this is a public blog so anyone can see it.

  547. SomeRandomSD says:

    I don’t get why people poof. Common courtesy seems lost. Mid conversation that’s going well, and then nada. But the messages are read. Is it really that hard to say, after receiving a picture you requested, to respond “I’m not sure we’re a fit” or *something*? Or that you’ve met someone, or *whatever*?

    Common courtesy. Sheesh. Ok, done venting.

    Happy Saturday!

  548. Honey says:

    The dirty is a version of a mean spirited People magazine. I like gossip, but who would I gossip about? and it’s based out of Canada….I don’t know hardly what is going on in the Canadian social scene…where’s the u.s.version? Do we have one…maybe perez hilton…

  549. Sbsb says:

    Thanks Dallas- will check that out:)

  550. Dallasbaby says:

    Just so everyone knows….if you want to warn people about scammers or losers, check out thedirty website !

  551. Sbsb says:

    Huh? It will not let me search it? I am not sure why? I am really new to this site as well. Maby since I am a SB it will not let me check out other SBs profiles?

    Does any veterans know why I can not access profile?

  552. Amanda says:

    Ok, thanks!

  553. Sbsb says:

    Ok cool! I will check it out!

  554. Amanda says:

    Sorry. Ok, my id is 612863

  555. Sbsb says:

    No how about this.. Just give me your profile id and I can look it up that way:) I know its hard. It took me forever to get the damb thing linked up..lol

  556. Amanda says:

    Ok, I can’t wait to see it Sb!

  557. Amanda says:

    Ok, did that work?

  558. Sbsb says:

    LOL… Try what I told you.. It still is not working…

    Ya I changed my profile with all the help from all the lovely ladies on here. It is still pending approval but will let you all know when its up :)

  559. Amanda says:

    Maybe it makes them think, “oh, she must not be to full of herself to put a pic up like that” lol

  560. Amanda says:

    omg, its such an awful pic 2, lol. I didn’t no how to edit the pics on my mac so I just got one where you couldn’t see my face but its terrible, lol. Oh, well…

  561. Amanda says:

    Sure. I think I did it right but am not sure. Imo, its a crappy profile but maybe simple is better?

  562. Sbsb says:

    Amanda- Would you care to link up your profile so we can take a peek to see what you are referring to?

  563. Honey says:

    I second midwest totally on her advice , don’t be afraid to bring your “a” game.

    I’m off to walk a dog named Rabbit. Talk to everyone later.

  564. Amanda says:

    I met them from here. I’m just started the dating process. I have 2 dates tomorrow, 1 wed, 1 fri, and maybe another one. If I like 1 of them that’s how I’m gonna do it cause there’s a million guys out there and no need to waste anybody’s time because I’m to nervous to ask, lol.

    I’ll let you know how it works out though if I choose one of them. But, that was just the way I figured I’d do it.

    Also, I wanted to say… I took a look at some of the profiles and, imo, some are a bit mushy. Mine is not at all and I have a pic up that you can’t tell what I look like at all and there are way to many guys already and I can’t even keep them straight. At first I really thought my profile was thoughtless, way to short and just plain careless. However, I’m not changing it because it seems to be attracting a lot of SD’s for some odd reason. Just a thought, maybe the profiles that aren’t working are coming across as to emotional or something and they thing your gonna be clingy or whatever???

    Idk, just thought I throw it out there and hope it helps. :)

  565. MIdwest SB says:

    Ladies – Thanks for the movie suggestions. Actually, I’m not going to share my tastes simply because I won’t try anything new! I want to have a new experience…even in movie choices!

    Amanda – It’s all been said…some women are actually more comfortable with gift/travel daddies for a variety of reasons. I will say that you will get a lot more “nos” from SDs when it comes to an allowance. Also, you have to be strong enough to a) ask and b) not feel bad for asking. These are business men and you MUST bring your A game if you’re going to accomplish your goals. All of my SDs have been allowance daddies, but I was very, very lucky. One SB has a bf/sd she met off one of the sugar sites and she benefits from his trades…very nicely. It’s a matter of thinking outside of the box and being creative about how both can enjoy the benefits of the financial arrangement.

  566. Honey says:

    Amanda, where did u meet this guy?irl or on a site?
    My allowance came about when my sd had gotten sick and was in the hospital for a week. He texted me right as it was happening and that ‘s all I heard from him until he was out of hospital. It shook me and him to think that he could have been gone and no one would have even called me for the funereal….. So he gave his mom, my info and set up direct deposit for me,just in case.As a girlfriend to a married man, I have no immediate family rights to visit him in the hospital if his wife didn’t want to.
    She didn’t, and she told him she wouldn’t…she makes my job of pleasing my sd so easy….
    but for others not in that situation, I would suggest waiting until there is chemistry, care and concern. If he cares about you and is concerned about your welfare when he can’t be with you,I would ask him directly., before sex!! You wouldn’t want to lead him on. but also be prepared to walk away…maybe. I’m always prepared to walk away, I’m more “take it or leave, that’s what’s for dinner” type of gal.May not work for everyone or ON everyone, but it works on the type of guys I date.

  567. Amanda says:

    Hmmmm, maybe those who get an allowance should share with the rest of us how they worded it or whatever to get that? Then, we can all learn, grow and encourage one another with new ideas!

    I feel like I have really nothing to lose by asking for one. I don’t want to on the first date though. I think a few days after the first date if I do really feel the chemistry and like the person I’ll just be up front about it and say that since I feel like we do have chemistry and are a good fit for each other, I feel ready to enter into an arrangement with you.

    Then, I’ll see what they say and tell them exactly what I want if they don’t already make an offer. Plus, I do agree with putting up a set price on my profile so they won’t be surprised at the amount and, imo, are in agreement with it or should not have contacted me to begin with.

  568. Honey says:

    Inception was the last good film I saw that I can recommend. And you would have to tell me more of your taste for me to suggest more. I just know the ones I like. Maybe if you tell us a few of your favorite movies……

  569. Honey says:

    AAhh thanks, Cleo (it’s too bad that instant messaging doesn’t convey tone) Ramble on! I wasn’t even thinking the word bitchy when it comes to midwest and I wasn’t being sarcastic in thanking her or you. I guess I will try to temper my tone because I want to be helpful, not hateful.
    I know I am lucky in my current situation and I try to give a little snapshot of my lifestyle and maybe brag a little, but not to hurt. Never to hurt. I know we only see snapshots of people’s lives and personalities on this board and sometimes the total picture is not clear, that’s why I don’t mind discussing things or people calling me on my shit.. I have a strong personality and I’ve rather clever,did I also mention modest? But that is what I think helps me out in real life.
    point of information, my mom was a sugarbaby and so was her best friend and my step daddy married my mom, so maybe I was born with that sugar spoon in my mouth and do take it for granted sometimes, but I want the same thing for all of you. I only mention My stuff to hopefully inspire others like me,-african american, over thirty and not a size 0. One doesn’t have to be young, blonde and hard edged or gullible. That was my sterotypical view. and I didn’t like it.That’s the main reason.Maybe I should just put in all in the book I shall write one day, what has worked for me.lol! I apologize sincerely for any who took offense. Pura Vida Honey

  570. Midwest SB says:

    Cleo – hahahaha…and yes, I suppose there is a good advantage to sharing. It’s just different from lending someone a sugar dress to go out for the night. :-)

    I’m not feeling so great today….stupid weather. Guess it’s a good day to catch up on movies. Any suggestions?

  571. cleo says:

    ps i reread my comments always before posting and inevitable 10% of the time i really wish i could edit the damn things!

  572. cleo says:

    midwest i wouldn’t object at all if someone like you said to me “i have to split with my sd for whatever reason and i actually think you two would get along like a house on fire”

    he’s already vouched for, i know he’s good for what he says or you’d never refer him to me and i’m guessing he isn’t a pig or whatever because you would never accept such a man. it’s sort of the ultimate prescreening

    (within reason, there’s sloppy seconds and there’s *sloppy* seconds

  573. cleo says:

    honey i think i know what midwest meant… mostly because when someone shows up on the blog with a great SD or all sorts of stories about their sugar life or talks about being on the site for sooo long, like a whole MONTH before they found multiple men to give them thousands of dollars it kills me a little

    when i look in the mirror i see everything an SD should want, when i go out “freestyling” i’m the girl that everyone stares at, i’ve changed my wardrobe, my looks, my attitude and am absolutely a happier and healthier person as a result but man, hearing about people buying houses or getting an education or flying off all sorts of places hurts me in ways i can’t even put into words

    i am absolutely cheering for every single one of my sugar sisters and i feel for every one of your struggles and all of the scars that you’ve borne but i don’t think midwest was being as bitchy as you *seem* to have taken her words any more than we meant to “attack” you when we FELT attacked for you calling us wannabes or saying you wanted to make all us wannabes crazy jealous or whatever. i totally now grok your style and dig it okay? just trying to explain…

    i think she’s saying “hey think about girls like cleo who have been in the bowl for a year and a half and have never ever known what it feels like to know when their allowance is hitting the bank, to know that someone will help them with the thousands of dollars of education they need, to know that if they buy something silly but sexy someone will cheerfully reimburse them with a nice tip, to *know* that someone is in their corner with them… to know how it feels to have a lover of means who WANTS to help them out.

    no idea what that feels like, hoping that will change soon but also very tired of unfulfilled hopes.

    so fine i’m a wanna be, but when a girl lands on the blog and talks about how she wants more and more and more than she is already getting i die a little inside and wonder what the hell is wrong with ME (general consensus among other lady sb’s is that i’m “too nice”) when this ungrateful girl can’t even see what she has [i am NOT REFERRING TO YOU HERE!]

    so your opinion is totally welcome and no we wouldn’t like you more if you were “down and out” or unsuccessful or miserable or whatever… and we would support you in your choices regardless and call you on them when we think they’re dangerous to you or unfair to whoever you’re talking about…

    but we ALL call each other on shit here, not just some of us on some of us…

    okay i’m rambling and i really hope you get what i’m trying to say because i at least am glad you’re here and think your contributions valuable :)

  574. Honey says:

    Thanks again and again no heat, I AM trying to work things out AND celebrate.
    I’m in Costa Rica looking out my window at hummingbirds…”what, me worry?”lol!
    Reading Sharon Green right now ,blame her for my attitude. She puts those strong, forceful women in her books and they just give me ideas….Jalav, terrilian, reagan,and and diana,read one of her books with those heroines and you will see a good deal of my personality.And she also indirectly taught me how to handle myself around men…kinky feminist lit- pass it on. What can I say,I’m just the direct type. Good luck all!

  575. Sbsb says:

    Thank you all so much! I really appreciate the input and I will get to work on tweaking my profile

  576. Midwest SB says:

    Honey – I had to work a long time on tempering and wordsmithing myself, so I truly speak from experience. I would unknowingly say something and upset co-workers and family and didn’t understand why THEY were being so sensitive. Even here, I read and re-read my comments before I post. No…being “down and out” will not make you more likable. But men are not a trinket you give away because you like someone. Nor would I want to personally know my SD’s former, much less be introduced to him by her. Many of us have had successes and many of us share advice on what has worked for US. We’re supportive without assuming another cannot do this on their own. We may tease and offer screening skills, etc., but it’s all in fun.

    It’s wonderful to be proud and share your successes…its what keeps us motivated. We’re here to celebrate the ups and work through the downs. I’m sorry if I hit a nerve.

  577. Honey says:

    I hear you Midwest ,but how could I have said it more…graciously?
    I am speaking MY truth from my own experiences…should I hold my lamp unto a bushel?
    Really I thought this was the site for information on how to handle the lifestyle and I mentioned why I was here when I first started typing on the board. I was attacked for asking about “wanna be” sugarbabies,was informed that there were no wanna be’s, just people who haven’t found their guy yet. Cool Dat. But is my opinion not warranted because I have a SD? Would I be more “likable” if I was down and out?
    Again, I’m just trying to share my experiences with others, I guess I could harp on the negative aspects, but that’s not me.
    I don’t mind tooting my own horn, I did the legwork to get there and have the scars to prove it.
    How is one to know what is “normal” or whatever in this lifestyle if one doesn’t ask?
    thanks for taking the time to clarify some things for me, Midwest,rerally.

  578. Honey says:

    Thank Robert Frost for the words..
    SBsb, since you are asking for opinions.. I like to end my profiles with a question or challenge. “…and I’m looking for…blah,blah,blah, are you up for it?”””and I like to …blah,blah, are you in?”
    I think asking an opened ending question that they can answer works for me…just my two cents,worth every bit you paid for it!!

  579. Midwest SB says:

    Good morning sugars! More rain today :(

    ESB!!!!! Soooooo nice to see you back! Keep us posted!

    SBsb – I love your profile! It’s nice to see a lady over 30 embracing the lifestyle! You will appreciate what comes around greatly! I would only suggest breaking your intro into easier to skim paragraphs. You have about 10 seconds to convince him to contact you, so be strategic. Definitely use the tips on the right.

    Honey – That was always one of my fave scenes in “The Outsiders”. As for you finding a replacement for your SD…yes, it didn’t come off right. We’re getting to know your style, but you have to remember there are some who have struggled for a long time and still haven’t met a quality guy. Keep this in mind so that it’s not like rubbing salt in the wound. Just some constructive feedback. Lastly, I hate to see anyone lose a family member, but always can’t help but think it’s meant to put us back in the right frame of mind. Life is too short and you never know when something awful will happen. I was truly scared for my life not too long ago and I vowed there are some things I will never do until my son is an adult and living his own life.

    Have you ever slept so late you feel stiff and a little sore? Anyone willing to give a massage? :-) Maybe a hot bath will do the trick.

  580. cleo says:

    hmm you took out the ones i wanted you to leave in… the group shot isn’t clear as to who is you and takes away from the happy gorgeous woman in the other photo. the one with your hair shorter and curly that you left up is cute but there was one where you hair is blonder and you have like streamers or something that’s cute and funny and has personality

    personally i can’t stand group shots in profiles… i always think “wow, did those people consent to their image being on this site” ? (especailly sd’s with pics of their ex sb’s EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW)

    your words and tone are great BUT redundant.. mention adventure once or twice, not five times. profiles are short, no reason to use the same words again… both sections actually, great sentiment but tighten up the language

  581. SBsb says:

    Cleo Check it out now..Deleted about 3 pictures! Let me know what you think now! Also what did you think about the wording?

  582. SBsb says:

    Ok thanks Cleo! Will do

  583. cleo says:

    SBsb i would get rid of the 2nd, 3rd, 4th photos to start with… too many looks

  584. SBsb says:

    Ok it is removed..lol… Try it now

  585. Anna Molly says:

    SBsb ~ You need to remove member/same from the link

    if you remove this part from the URL you should be fine :)

    Hope this helps!

  586. SBsb says:

    I am clicking on my profile and then coping and pasting. Am I doing something wrong?

  587. SBsb says:

    I am not sure how to do this? To link my profile?

  588. SBsb says:

    ok try it now

  589. ESB says:

    I did try to “check you out” but I’m getting “can’t be displayed” so sorry.

    Gotta run. Laundry then off to work!! Have a wonderful day everyone!! Will be back when I can!!

  590. Anna Molly says:

    SBsb ~ I can’t view your profile :(

  591. SBsb says:

    ESB- Thank you so much! I appreciate the feedback and you made a really good point

    Also If you have the time do you mind checking out my profile to see what you think of it? Just click on my name and it will take you to my profile. I am linked

  592. ESB says:

    SBsb: I am on here for the first time in MONTHS, and have 2 winks. I prefer a message. Say something that means something. A wink shows you are shy, not sure of yourself, or just don’t know what to say. Most of these guys want a woman who is confidenet, agressive (in the bedroom anyway?) and has something to say to keep him interested in you. That’s just MHO mind you, but also my take on the SDs I did have.

  593. ESB says:

    Honey, I love the poem. Beautiful!!

    Sugarizy, I had my last SD fall for me. It was akward for me. I am not in a place where I can fall in love. To much pain from past relationships, but I do enjoy a mans company. I love putting him first, making him feel like he can conquer the world, putting him on that pedistal, and letting him spoil me with praise and gifts in return. But my heart will not be won…or I just haven’t found the man I can trust with it yet. So, the arrangement ended. Unfortunately, with him being hurt and angry, and him owning me my allowance!! I let it go though. I felt horrible for hurting him. He was a VERY sweet man, and I did enjoy his company. Just couldn’t lead him on to stay in an arrangement.

  594. SBsb says:

    Hey all was wondering what your opinion is on winking at a pot SD? Or as a SB do you just sit back and wait to be contacted or are you pro-active and email and wink to pot SD?

    All input is welcomed

  595. ESB says:

    Good Morning Sugarbowl!! Been a very long time! Life is looking up, I had internet installed in my appartment this week, so here I am. Finally getting caught up finacially. Whoot!

    I saw some new SD profiles this morning, that is promising! Not sure how that will be good for my situation, but always good to see new blodd!

    How is everyone?

  596. SBsb says:

    Hello all! I was wondering if you would mind stopping by my profile and giving me some feedback to it? I am new to this whole situation so looking for feedback on profile! I am linked up so just click on my name and it should take you to my profile!

    Thank you all in advance and I hope your sugar is sweet today and will look forward to the constructive criticism

  597. Honey says:

    Welcome sugarizy. I have a few friend in oz and know of a few cool kiwis(go Zena!) and am sorry to hear of your personal troubles. That must suck and I understand more than you could know about losing family members….Really seems that the good do die young,huh.
    I’m living forever,sad thing is if you live long enough you will see everyone you love die……
    sorry, really off topic.
    and sorry I can’t help you with your question since I am in the same boat kinda. I asked a similar question and was advised to get out,get out now! but I didn’t listen…and believe it or not I am still concerned about who he sees after me, just because I don’t love him back does not mean that I wish to see him hurt,even if I am the one who will hurt him when I leave. He is a good man, really. He asked me to stay until he finished his divorce. He pays all my bills,school, lets me vacation without him. actually I think he is leaning toward submissive behavior…towards me. he’s an alpha male at work and my cuddle bear at home but I don’t love him, but he cares for me and I DO need someone who does that. And maybe you do too. Grab all the good stuff before it’s gone…you never know when it all will be gone…

    Nature’s first green is gold,
    her hardest hue to hold,
    her early leafs’ a flower
    but only for an hour,
    so leaf subsides to leaf
    so Eden sank to grief
    so dawn gives way to day
    Nothing gold can stay.

  598. sugarizy says:

    Honey – I’m from Christchurch in NZ, I’m not sure if you know much about Christchurch but we had an earthquake that sadly killed around 160 people in Feb – I lost a family member in it and had to end my travels. Was awful! I’m finding it really concerning how many we’re having around the world at the moment, but I wonder if I’m just more aware because it has personally affected me now. We have a couple of aftershocks daily, it’s such a frustrating way to live. Hope everything is good there, and I’d love to go to Costa Rica one day – it looks stunning (sorry this is off topic) x

  599. sugarizy says:

    Also girls who have arrangements, how do you deal with the circumstance where you SD is head over heels for you (loves you – etc) but you don’t feel the same? I really, really like my SD – we’re good friends above all, but I don’t love him. Now he’s admitted he loves me he quite likes to tell me frequently, which is a nice compliment of course, but it’s quite weird having an ongoing arrangement where the feelings are not balanced… Any thoughts?

    My SD knows how I feel about him, so I’m not leading him on.

  600. sugarizy says:

    Enigma SD thanks! I feel really lucky that I’ve got such a great arrangement. How come you end up with long distance SBs? Good luck with the girl who’s a bit closer, I think it would make some things easier. I want to leave NZ and find a bigger sugar pot, hehe.

  601. cleo says:

    also consider getting photos that have a tidy background

  602. SomeRandomSD says:

    Hey LovelyLady (615074)

    Consider beefing up your profile… there’s really not much info about you in it, just 1-2 sentences. As an SD, I have no idea if it’s worth pursuing you or not. You don’t really sell yourself, or get specific. You may want to do that.

    Check out the tips on the right — my fave for profiles is: Marketing Yourself as a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby.

    Other links there are good as well.

    Finally: your profile was created in May. It is still May. This is rarely a quick, instant thing. It can take months/years even, to find a solid SD/SB relationship. Patience.

  603. Honey says:

    Am I so vain that I probably think that that post is about me……..?I bet you think that post is about me, don’t you? Don’t you?
    lol! Hi dallas! and good night all.

  604. Honey says:

    Thanks Quirky, I live for praise! Loved that quote also, the movie was pretty funny also. Betty White at her funniest.Playing a bigot, “If I see any Mexicans in this neighborhood, they better be toting a leaf-blower”

  605. Profile Number 615074 (Sugar Baby -F) says:

    I need help. I haven’t meet one sugar daddy yet

  606. Dallasbaby says:

    Oh boy, some people are so full of BS !

  607. QuirkyCocoaBabe says:


    Just wanted to say… LOVE the “Bringing Down the House” reference!

  608. SBsb says:

    Hello all! I was wondering if you would mind stopping by my profile and giving me some feedback to it? I am new to this whole situation so looking for feedback on profile! I am linked up so just click on my name and it should take you to my profile!

    Thank you all in advance

  609. QuirkyCocoaBabe says:

    What phase of sugar are you in at the moment?
    Searching for sugar.

    Not really making any sugar choices just yet, I just joined SA about not too long ago.

  610. Honey says:

    hello all from rainy Costa Rica, earthquake in san jose today. I was out of the city, bout three miles away, didn’t feel a thing…way to go sugarizy, glad you decided to stop lurking and share.
    I told myself I was going to get out of the sugarlife but my daddy just keeps upping the ante…I even had a number in mind and a date I was going to stop, (in june) but I’m am starting to slide down that slippery slope….
    I originally came here looking for…a friend, a girlfriend who was nice and who could maybe….give away my sugar daddy to. He is so sweet and nice and thoughtful and generous, I didn’t want him to go to waste, but I also didn’t want a bad, mean gold digger to get him and use him up.Is that silly? I know he has fallen in love with me and I do adore him but I am so not the marrying kind. I’m a serial dater, always have been. but, to quote that guy from that movie, ” The cool points are out the window and now I’m caught up in the game”

  611. Dallasbaby says:

    But could also be the wine !

  612. Dallasbaby says:

    Yep, they said the key to getting lady is taking a girl to dinner and her being able to dress up and feel sexy !

  613. SomeRandomSD says:

    @Dallas: actually… yes? I mean, who doesn’t love two-way conversation over dinner, that’s fun, light-hearted, and flirtatious, with chemistry? Wonderful prelude to whatever comes next, and really builds it up. Just my opinion.

  614. Dallasbaby says:

    So i’m watching Dr drew and they say females like “foreplay” and foreplay means going out to dinner and talking ! Conversation and going out is key to a female getting turned on. Not what you would think is it?

  615. SomeRandomSD says:

    I was quoted. Sweet.

    @midwest: great profile pics — loved them! Nice nice variety. Well done :-)

    What phase of the sugar are you in at the moment? Searching for your ideal arrangement? Currently in a sugar relationship?

    Primarily spending time with one person, however, light discussion with others. If the current works out, I’m good. If not, will move along to find someone else. I’m a slow evaluator, I guess, esp wihen chemistry seems good and other things are… undetermined.

    What kind of sugar choices (if any) are you in the midst of making?

    How long to continue with the current gal I’m seeing… still evaluating – and still enjoying, so, it works with a definite “for now” at the end of that…

    Have you had any sweeeet surprises with a SD or SB? Have you found any benefits you didn’t originally expect from sugar?

    Hrm. Surprises, yes… but not necessarily the positive ones 😉 We’re still working on the mutually part of mutually beneficial. She’s new to this. However, she’s great company, so I can have some patience. Benefits: Yes, my wallet is lighter and easier to carry around. 😉

  616. stephan says:

    @Midwest: Thank You for the great quote! (sorry for late reply, my delurking process took longer than usual this last week!)

    @Rcheck: Your sugars’ toast is absolutely exquisite! Thank you, thank you! It shall remind sugars to honor themselves, celebrate their lives, and know that there’s something sweet always on the horizon.

    Glad you like the polls, you all are so sweet! If anyone has a suggestion for some new polls to add on the blog, please feel free to enter it in on the latest question on the SA FB page 😀

  617. Anna Molly says:

    Hi everyone! 😀

    Midwest ~ Thank you darlin’! I tried to view yours and I received an error message :(

  618. Lisa without a family says:

    odd if I try to view anyone’s profile from their name, I get page unfound. Have some issues everytime i’m on SA, not sure if it is my computer but i keep getting a virus and multiple pages of SA keep popping up. I have to shut my computer down to get rid of them. I run my antivirus every day to remove it. odd

  619. SBsb says:

    I love your profile Midwest SB

  620. Beach_Girl says:

    Midwest~ Yes, perfect! off to work for me… talk to you soon

  621. Lisa without a family says:

    Hi Midwest :)

    I tried to link my blog to my name but since i’m totally lost with anything other than getting online (I don’t understand the url stuff) but couldn’t get it to work. My blog is boring anyway.

    I’m so unmotivated lately, bored and discouraged. Think it’s about time to give up the sugar hunt, i’m too old and tired.

  622. SBsb says:

    Ok everyone I linked my profile as well… Take a peek :)

  623. SBsb says:

    Ok we will see if it works

  624. Midwest SB says:

    Thanks Beach. Does this work?

  625. Beach_Girl says:

    Midwest~ If you want everyone to see your profile you have to use the url like this
    www dot seeking arrangement dot com / detail dot php ? id = 433xxx

  626. Beach_Girl says:

    Midwest~ Yeah, it sucks being sick…especially when you can’t take sick days! that is what happens when you work for you! but i’m getting better everyday… I have never been this sick, pneumonia sucks! How have you been kitten?

  627. Midwest SB says:

    SBsb – Try again. I think I had to remove the word “same” from the URL.

    Beach Girl – Hi kitten! Sucks to be sick. Take care of you!

  628. Beach_Girl says:

    Lisa~ Hey girlie! How are you?

  629. Lisa without a family says:

    Hey Beach_Girl :)

  630. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!
    Too sick to read the blog question lol… sorry will answer when i’m better
    Just wanted to say hi to all the beautiful Sugars! 😀

  631. SBsb says:

    Hey Midwest SB- I tried to click on your name top see your profile and it would not take me there? And I was wondering how to find my URL on my profile so I can link mine as well :)

  632. Midwest SB says:

    Nice profile AM! What are your fun plans for the weekend?

    Mine is linked as well.

  633. Enigma SD says:

    Morning all!

    Sugarizy — all of my sugar relationships have been long distance — ranging from a 4 hour drive to a 4 hour flight away, but always in the same country. Congratulations on making things work so long with such a large separation distance. If both parties want to make it work, things usually work out just fine.

    Current sugar phase…. I have a second date this weekend with a potential SB. I don’t enter into a formal sugar relationship until three dates. This one looks extremely promising though, and I have started some spoiling. Ironically, she is only a 1.5 hour drive away…. kinda scary!

  634. Anna Molly says:

    SBsb ~ To link your profile, copy your profile URL and paste it in the textbox that says website.

    I linked my profile if you would like to take a peak :)

  635. Anna Molly says:

    Good Morning everyone! Hope all of you have a nice weekend planned! TGIF!!! 😀

  636. sugarizy says:

    Hello everyone. This is my first post on this blog. I have been waiting a while to post, but thought I would start now. I’ve been a regular reader and this topic really appealed to me. I have a really fun long distance sugar relationship. My SD is in America and I live in New Zealand.

    Our arrangement is great, I send him videos and photos of my manicures and pedicures (he pays for them) and videos of me talking to him, and of me naked and he sends me a lot of money. The other day I counted it up and it was over $15,000 USD. Our arrangement has been ongoing for two years, except for a 10 month period where I dated someone in real life.

    I went traveling throughout Asia from Nov-Feb and was running out of money in January, so I emailed my SD about it and he gave me a weekly travel allowance – it was so great. I really love my arrangement. I have had SD arrangements in person, but this long distance relationship is working really well for me. My SD is very submissive which works in my favour; I’ve recently asked him to buy me a Macbook Pro and he will :)

    Recently though, my SD has started telling me he loves me. I don’t really mind, I am not that surprised, but it is a little odd seeing as we have not met yet. What do you guys think? have any of you had a successful long distance SD/SB relationship?

    I think eventually I will fly to America to meet him, because I know how much shopping we would do and how much fun we would have. We have a good friendship, and talk about things other than just our sb/sd relationship. I met my SD on here :)

    Hope everyone has a good weekend!!!

  637. Amanda says:

    I have a question. Do you stay away from profiles that say, “blocked by member”?

  638. cleo says:

    overweight please pick a name that is nicer to yourself, that’s a very negative message to send yourself.


  639. overweight says:

    yes i love the polls
    i will start the cleanse this weekend ! yay

  640. Midwest SB says:

    Thanks for the shout out Stephan :-) Love the polls…very cool.

    What phase of the sugar are you in at the moment? Searching for your ideal arrangement? Currently in a sugar relationship? We have parted ways in order to address real life issues. Sometimes sugar and real life can stretch a person’s resources. I will be on the search again. Each arrangement is a great learning experience and really sets high standards for the next. Yikes…I’m addicted to serial sugar.

    What kind of sugar choices (if any) are you in the midst of making? Meeting a special new SD will take time, but well worth it. That and staying on task with school! I see the light….

  641. Kindred Spirit says:

    Third? 😀

  642. Rcheck says:

    “What phase of the sugar are you in at the moment? Searching for your ideal arrangement? Currently in a sugar relationship?”

    In a very nice relationship that is drawing to a close. We have about three months left before we head our separate ways. It’s been great but we each have other forces in our lives. I expect us to remain life long friends.

    “What kind of sugar choices (if any) are you in the midst of making?” Only deciding if I will jump right back in, or take a break from it for a while. I am leaning towards the later, but time will tell.

    Have you had any sweeeet surprises with a SD or SB? Have you found any benefits you didn’t originally expect from sugar?

    Sugarlife has been much better than I ever expected. It has it’s downsides like everything, but overall It’s been great and has introduced me to some very special people that I otherwise have never met.

  643. Rcheck says:

    I like the poll.

    @Midwest SB – Good point, but I actually kind of like those as it allows me to ‘Next’ them without bothering to read the profile. Great time saver.

    It’s kind of like the warning buzzer they used to blast at the beginning of ‘Jerry Springer’ episodes. It let me know that it was time to turn off the TV.

  644. Anna Molly says:

    Second! 😀

  645. Rcheck says:


  646. SA Moderator Team says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!