8 years ago
Allowance (Re)Negotiation


Agreeing on expectations with a sugar daddy or sugar baby often happens early on in a sugar relationship. Yet whether you’re a lurker, newbie sugar, or more familiar with sugar daddy dating, maintaining a mutually beneficial relationship often takes more than just a one-time agreement about each others benefits.

Here are some of the most common ways sugar daddies and sugar babies make their expectations for an arrangement known:

Profile Specification

Many sugar daddies and sugar babies use their profiles to make their expectations for a potential arrangement as crystal clear as possible. On SA, sugar babies can specify their desired monthly allowance in a dollar-range from 1 to twenty thousand monthly. Whereas sugar daddies on SA can specify their desired  monthly budget for their sugar baby.

[poll id=”5″]

Allowance Talk

Often expected within the first few initial meets with a potential sugar, is the ‘set-up‘ for the arrangement. Many sugars prefer to have the allowance talk as soon as possible – so they can begin enjoying the fruits of their mutually beneficial relationship sooner than later. Some sugars prefer to have the allowance talk in the form of emails or messages on the site, while others like to have it over coffee or other type of in-person setting, but before any significant benefits are exchanged. However, some sugars opt for a ‘test drive‘, in which the sugar daddy and/or sugar baby allow for their benefits to be experienced before the arrangement has been finalized.

[poll id=”6″]


As Lily mentioned in the last thread, once a sugar couple has already embarked on an arrangement, a renegotiation may be necessary…

Lily: This question goes to the gents.

Has your SB ever re-negotiated her allowance after a significant amount of time happily together? Was it a completely negative thing to have that open for discussion again, and were you willing to discuss it open-mindedly?

Enigma SD: Lily — yes I had an SB attempt to renegotiate an allowance after we had been together a while. Her approach was awful and it lead to a huge fight. I think if you do it correctly, an SD might be receptive to it. I think that the terms of the relationship/arrangement would need to have changed for you to bring it up though, e.g. meeting more often, more interaction than you anticipated, etc. However, like any contract, if you bring it up for renegotiation, make sure you are prepared for one potential outcome… termination of the contract. You are savvy — I am sure you can handle it properly though.

SD Guru:  @Lily

1. The reason for re-negotiation.

It goes without saying that more allowance will make a SB’s life more perfect. And it’s possible that some SB’s may have undersold themselves during the allowance discussion at the beginning. But are those good reasons to re-negotiate from a SD’s perspective? I’d suggest that you spin it in terms of how you have added value (happiness, pleasure, impact, etc) to his life and what a great job you’ve done. There is nothing wrong with asking for a raise for a job well done. But asking for a raise because you thought you undersold yourself or more money is better could give the wrong impression to the SD. [con’t]”

[poll id=”7″]

Negotiation may not be the ‘sweetest’ part of sugar daddy dating, yet with all the assumptions in Sugarland, there’s no doubt that it’s important to know that you and your sugar are on the same accord during every stage of your mutually beneficial relationship.

By when do you need to know that your potential sugar daddy or sugar baby and you have an arrangement agreed? Is it a combination of some stated expectations (e.g., on your profile, in-person, etc.) with the chemistry you have with them?

What are your thoughts on sugar test drives?

Leave a Reply

627 Responses to “Allowance (Re)Negotiation”

  1. Hello, I desire to subscribe for this web site to obtain most up-to-date updates, so where can i do
    it please assist.

  2. Honey says:

    Hello all, gotta try my hand at a limerick one of these days, those are too funny guys!!
    Hey anyone who has emailed me in the past email me again, so I can get your email in my inbox, I’m using the old version of yqhoo and the search function does not work….
    There once was girl from Dunkirk
    who could not get her email to work
    so she put out a call,asking them all
    “Be helpful on the blog and don’t lurk!!”

  3. RC msb says:

    GreenEyes – I disagree, I thought it was very nicely done. :)

  4. GreenEyes says:

    Just wanted to give a big THANK YOU to everyone who gave me such good advice! So glad there are people out there who understand and are willing to give a computer newbie like me a little guidance…

    And now for my limerick –

    There once was a girl who was tall
    With a chest that resembled softballs
    Althought she was witty
    Her bod was not pretty
    And she had a hard time getting calls

    Not quite true, but this limerick writing is tough, lol!

  5. LASB says:

    Hi Sugars! Thanks for the advice on the mac. I’m pretty sure it’s not a keystrokelogger, since it was an address that hadn’t been used in a very long time. However, the viagra emails in my sent box. I changed my password. We’ll see if that helps.

    SD Guru/Lisa – If that’s what he thought the acronym meant, he’s probably looking for a hooker. Seems like those terms aren’t used in normal (non hooker) society. I’ve never heard of that before. And it’s not even kinky. It’s just crass.

    Midwest – Congratulations! Maybe that explains why you said you didn’t want to have a serious emotional relationship with anyone. Maybe what you really meant was, anyone but him. :)

  6. RC msb says:

    SD Guru – Thanks for clearing that up. The whole interaction makes sense now. The guy’s head was in the gutter, saw the name and…kinda creepy, but it does make sense!

    Thanks amelia! :)

    Anna Molly – So sorry to hear that AM, I just had a motherboard go pop on me, I know how frustrating that is. :(

  7. Anna Molly says:

    MW ~ I’m wishing you all the best my dear! :)


  8. RC msb says:

    SDinLA – Kidding me you must be, clever it was!

  9. Anna Molly says:

    Mornin’ sugars! Hope everyone is having a good week so far! 😀

    So, this week I find out that I need a new motherboard for my desktop and a new hard drive for one of my laptops. Where’s my SD?! 😀

    Have a great day everyone!

  10. LL says:

    Morning Sugars :)

    Amilia – Sounds like you over txt’d him and scared him off or he was just a jokedaddie…don’t give it anymore thought either way you’re better off without him if you’re communication style didn’t match. Good luck on you coffee date Friday, I dunno if you’ve already chosen a location/time yet or not but if you have any input as to where the meet up will take place then I would pick a coffee shop that is close to a restaurant cause you can probably upgrade at the last minute if he’s attracted to you…doesn’t hurt to keep your options open right? 😉 Good luck and keep us posted!

    Hi Enigma – Thanks for sharing, my visa card is staying safely tucked away in my wallet for the time being…but it’s just soooooo hard to see all those flashing messages waiting to be read :'( What can I say, I love being pursued hahaha.

  11. Michael Alleycat says:

    Just looked at definition for LTW, too funny!

  12. Enigma SD says:

    Hi LL — I was on SD dot com and it was pretty much like a millionaire dating site. In fact, they wouldn’t approve my profile at first because I said I was married. They also made me remove that I was looking for a discreet relationship. A large percentage of the women on there are looking for a traditional relationship, so the men on that site are in the same mindset. I wouldn’t recommend giving them any money :)

  13. SDinLA says:

    RC msb
    Many limericks he pens
    Tears of mirth I cry

    Oy vey… why am I writing haiku like Yoda? I think I’d best leave this poetry thing to Rumi, Neruda et al.

  14. amelia says:

    @RC msb – woah… i actually read that a couple of times. that is impressive.

    @Lisa – i thought about it for a few seconds and conclude that the guy muz be an idiot to remotely even think that LTWhouston is kinky until i read SDGuru’s and look it up. am pretty annoyed since LTW is the initials of my actual name~!~!~! hahas.

    @midwest – awwww… sounds like you have something great going on there. congratulations! =)

    meanwhile, i’ve decided to meet up this other guy for coffee this friday after not getting any responses from him! followed the advice and texted him and asked if he wants to be on the phone for a wee while – no reply! no calls! also cut down on texting him and still… hope it goes well on friday.

  15. LL says:

    Bwahahaha…..LTW….Lisa you may want to change your name after you’re done cracking up on what it stands for…there are two possible acronyms and one isn’t any more decent than the other!

    Good call out Guru…I needed a good laugh 😀

  16. LL says:

    SD Guru – Thx and lucky you to have a grandfathered membership! I know sugar is hard to find nowadays which is why I really don’t want to waste the investment if it’s saturated with wannabe’s sounds like it is 😉

  17. LL says:

    Thanks RC great site! Sugardaddie must have updated what their standard member allows because it says on the review site that you are able to respond to inbound messages but that’s no longer the case :'( Glad to see it’s an option since it’s rated No. 5 in the Top 10 of sugar dating sites if I end up exhausting my resources on SA and EM 😉

  18. SD Guru says:

    Wish us well and remind me that love is worth taking chances.

    Cue the song “Love is in the Air”… No wager needed for this one, congrats and good luck!! Oh, and what are the odds that both Midwest and NYC went off the market by falling in love… who’s next?? Let’s have a sugar retirement party in their honor!! :)

    @RC msb
    I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what’s kinky about LTWhouston??

    It’s not commonly used, but look up LTW in the urbandictionary and you’ll see.

    has anyone used the site sugardaddie dot com?

    The site has become a regular dating site over the years. Sugar can still be found but much less likely now. I still have a free membership that’s been grandfathered from the early days.

  19. RC msb says:

    LL – I once found a pretty good review site covers pretty much all the major contenders.

    Click my name.

  20. SDinLA says:


    ~~This time I really think I’m in love, I’m in love… This time I think I’m really in love~~

    -John COUGAR Mellencamp (who is also from Indiana ;-))

  21. LL says:

    Hey Lisa

    Have to tried finding a girls night out type of group in you area…if you find any perhaps you could think about host a potluck at your place for a few girls…then you wont have to worry about driving, busing, extra cost for food etc…keep your eyes peeled I’m sure somewhere in your community must have something set up 😀

    Hey LASB & Michael Alleycat 😉

    M W – Wow what a turn of events, I hope all turns out well for you in your new relationship…exciting new challenges ahead and awesome that he’s already great with the young one…Love is always worth taking chances, I think after being in the sugar world you’ve already gotten the battle half beat…open, honest, and straightforward communication along with great fun in the bedroom with an intelligent woman; how could it go wrong? Just keep Beyonce’s track in your head when things get tough…Who run the world, Girls…don’t let him forget how lucky he is to have you around 😉

    Hey – has anyone used the site sugardaddie dot com? How was it, especially if you were an SB and had to front the membership fee…I don’t want to invest if it totally crap

  22. RC msb says:

    Thanks Lily! 😀

    Hey Lisa, I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what’s kinky about LTWhouston?? Anyway, do take care of yourself, plenty of rest and fluids. In fact you shouldn’t even be reading this yet, get back to bed girl! :)

    LL – I wouldn’t worry a bit, I’m sure you have many skills that would put banging out a few limericks to shame. – I know exactly what you mean about the parallel universe where a first date signifies a committed relationship. I’ve found myself in that world many times. Of course one of those times I also had a handlebar mustache and mutton chops, I have no idea what the hell that was all about. – Good luck with GN2 (I vote we make that his official blog name), hope it continues to work out, :)

    LASB – Welcome Back! :) – As for the Mac, first of all take Michael Alleycat’s vey good advice. As for software, Kaspersky and Panda for Mac are the ones I use – I like them both. Also as you are looking be aware that some anti virus/malware products like Mac Defender and MacGuard are themselves trojan malware (Slimeballs!). These kind of tricks are common and old hat on the windows side, but sometimes Mac users aren’t aware of such scams. Always read reviews and download from trusted sources such as ZDNet or Cnet. – Sorry you didn’t get your own limerick, but that’s what happens when you miss staff meetings :)

    Midwest – Love IS worth taking chances! No question. I can also assure you that as you get older you regret the things you ‘didn’t try’, not the things you did. Wishing you both the very very best! 😀

  23. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Is it a full moon already?

    Love the limerick SDinLA and RC msb! So much talent on this blog!

    It’s time for this cynic to dive into the real life of love and to see if lightning does strike twice. I haven’t been truly in love with someone since my ex-husband (many full moons ago). A young man who has become a friend of ours has asked for an honest shot at a relationship and I agreed. He’s not sugar, but he’s sweet. He’s great with my little gent and I trust him. Wish us well and remind me that love is worth taking chances.

    I’ll still hang around to enjoy the sugar escapades.

  24. Michael Alleycat says:

    LASB – check your ‘sent’ folder and see if the email came from your email, or was it just a spoof. If it did come from your email, you have a keystroke logger installed. Very dangerous. So change your password using another system, and google how to remove the virus / malware.

  25. LASB says:

    Hi Everyone. I’m back from my blog hiatus, but not caught up. Just saw the bit about malware. Does anyone know of how to get rid of malware on a mac? And here I thought I was safe. My email spammed people with antidepressant and viagra ads. If you had one, I would think you wouldn’t need the other, or maybe they work better together. (?)

  26. Lisa says:

    Thanks LL, I work up sick saturday, was worse after work but was off the next two days and got to rest but I have to work the next 3 days so no more rest for me. And now I can’t even talk to my coworker. But then again that frees my mind to think up all kinds of crazy things and when anything crazy happens, you always hear “they were so quiet, they never talked to anyone” maybe the isolation did it to them. So i’m totally out of it, work is the only place I get to interact with others anymore. I have so much stress right now with the apending lawsuit that I have to court for that they will order me to pay something I can’t pay, my offer is too small for them but at the same time would put a big dent in survival.

  27. LL says:

    RC – Good things are worth waiting for…loved the limericks – Just don’t ever expect to see anything so fancy from me, language is my weakest skill, I could never come up wit anything so clever :'(

    Apparently I was stuck in a parallel universe, one where a first date signifies a committed relationship haha….soooooo glad I’m back to planet earth 😛 Glad to see I could break the hiatus of the blolg 😀

    I do have one worthy candidate I am still considering, he’s in LA until Thursday but we’ve already planned to get out for drinks Thursday night…he’s the more serious one I mentioned last week (guy number two) already agreed to terms…I’m just holding off until a few more dates, but we send a small flirty message to each other every day to keep building on the initial chemistry…we’ll see how it goes Thursday!

    Hey Lily and Lisa 😀

    Lisa – I did read about your WYP offer, I think I posted back that he was a creeper..or maybe I just thought it…can’t remember and to lazy to check the history. Hope you’re feeling better, my cold took about 8 days to recover from, started with a sore throat, fever, chills..after day 5 it felt like the beginning of a sinus infection which lasted another 3 days. Get some rest!

  28. Lisa says:

    RC msb, that about says it, lol well add now the fact that I cannot talk to my coworker, my 20 year old boss has us working apart, really sucks because the only human contact and talk I have is at work, rest of the time i’m in total isolation. I’m stil feeling horrible, but at least I can take a cold pill now that i’m home.

    LL wow your WYP date sucked. I am not sure if you read about the one that contacted me. He accepted my 150 offer but wanted to drive down, spend the day and night at my place, get up the next morning leave the money on the nightstand and come back every week for free. Also thought I was crazy wanted an sd, yet he is on a site like this. His goal was to meet a woman for sex with no commitment and he thought this was the way to do it, yet for free. I sent him a copy of the rules for first dates and he got all mad. He even said my user name was misleading as he interpreted it to stand for some kinky sexual thing. I told him I wasn’t familiar with gutter lingo and only speak in complete words, so what did he read into LTWhouston? I told him it was my initials and westhouston. he still didn’t believe me.

    ok i’m going to medicate now. Have a good afternoon everyone

  29. Lily says:

    RC; I loved it!!!

  30. RC msb says:

    Hey LL, I thought maybe you had got sucked into a parallel dimension again. The site has been messed up for the past day. At least I couldn’t post and nobody else did. I’ve been trying to post my limericks for a day.

    To bad about the date. Always remember that some guys only take hints when you tape them to the end of a a 2 x 4 and smack them upside the head with them. Sounds like one of them. Are any of the others shaping up at all?

    Have a good one.

  31. RC msb says:

    There was an SD from LA,
    who posted a Haiku one day,
    he was somewhat chagrined,
    when no one chimed in,
    we quite liked it, we just didn’t say.

    Naughty Molly was having a fright,
    her computer was not working right,
    she screamed and she cussed,
    cause fix it she must,
    or she would be working all night.

    With her mid-terms now all laid to rest,
    It was time for a treat for Midwest,
    and a treat’s what she got,
    as the fishes were caught,
    and her son became one of the best!

    Dear Lily is ready to weep,
    cause the blog here is almost asleep,
    she’d like to arrange,
    for the topic to change,
    but the blog gods have not made a peep.

    LL has not been here of late,
    she is probably out on a date,
    I hope she succeeds,
    and finds what she needs,
    and gets her a good sugar mate.

    Poor Lisa is not doing well,
    as she works in a place south of Hell,
    and if that’s not enough,
    to make her life rough,
    she may have a fever as well.

    Sweet Cleo has such a great way,
    and I’m sure she works hard every day,
    she’s such a great catch,
    for her next sugar match,
    I’d date her myself, but I’m gay.

    RC has been on a run,
    writing limericks just to have fun,
    and he keeps getting quicker,
    and says with a snicker,
    “Bet you’ll be glad when I’m done!”.

  32. LL says:

    Good afternooooon sugars, I hope everyone is doing well 😀

    It’s been a few days since I’ve posted to the blogs so I figured it was time!

    Had a follow up date with the guy from WYP….disaster. The guy asked if I wanted to go to his sisters bday party (I mean really c’mon do I really want to meet the while family after one paid date? lol) so I suggested we meet up the following day instead, I even suggested the activity – going to the race track to bet on the ponies and such 😉 – he was really into the suggestion and couldn’t stop saying how fun it would be. Well for the 5 hours we were there he bet on one race for 5 bucks and then treated me to another 5 bucks worth of 2 cent slots, the rest of the time was beer after beer after beer. I made mention once or twice for a bite to eat…never happened. To top it off after drinking umpteen beers I got to drive home wasted AND didn’t even get paid for the date! Ended up crashing on the couch until midnight sleeping off all the alcohol consumed on an empty stomach. To boot, the guy is calling and emailing off the hook telling me he misses me and blah, blah, blah. Sheesh…I always manage to get the winners huh 😛

    Back off babies…I know you all want a piece of the action on this one hahaha 😉

  33. SDinLA says:

    Geez, I know my haiku was bad, but not one person replied in haiku format? You lot are no fun.

    @Lily I’m good at lurking.

    @Michael, Molly et al You have my sympathies. If I have an issue with a Windows machine, I call one of the Sys Admins at one of the companies and say “Here you go, fix it!” I don’t have the patience to troubleshoot Windows virus/malware issues, that stresses me out no end, which is why I stick to Macs at home.

    Been something like 3 weeks since there was a new blog topic… somebody’s slacking, cough (Stephan) cough 😉

  34. RC msb says:

    ’twas a fricken nightmare, I could barley function well enough to delete it. – Night and day though, once it was gone everything went right back to normal.

  35. cleo says:

    RCmsb i’ve had that happen on my unix server… man talk about grinding a machine to a halt!

  36. RC msb says:

    Oh, and sometimes you can delete files like that in safe mode. Just a thought.

  37. Lisa says:

    It is so hot at night here that I have been sleeping with the fan blowing on me and wake up every morning with a sore throat but it goes away in the day but I have been sick since saturday, dizzy all day at work and came home feeling worse.

  38. RC msb says:

    I’ve never had problems with that particular file, but I’ve had good luck using Glary with other infected dll’s. It’s free and can be downloaded from trusted sources like Cnet.

  39. Anna Molly says:

    Lisa ~ I’ve been feeling the same way! Kinda’ feels like a cold, but, not sure. I want to say it’s allergies, but, I don’t think allergies give you the chills…I don’t know. When it rains it pours, I suppose :-)

  40. Lisa says:

    Now i’m trying to get rid of this cold, feels more like the flu before I have to go to work tomorrow. I’ve got body aches, chills, runny nose, etc not exactly sugary

  41. Lisa says:

    computer problems are enough to drive one crazy. I spent a whole day a few weeks ago trying to fix my desktop.

  42. Anna Molly says:

    RC msb ~ Thanks! I have found the culprits. They are ieatgpc.dll and ieatgpc.inf files and I can’t get rid of them. I know they’re malware of some kind. If anyone has any info on how to get rid of this I would appreciate it.

    Sorry, I know this isn’t a very sugary convo, but, I’m going crazy here!

  43. Lisa says:

    Twice I had the ram failure warning as well as a warning that my hard drive was going to crash. I checked on these and found out they are a virus themselves and I couldn’t run my antivirus (it kept shutting off) couldn’t run windows updates, nothing. I had to do a recovery back to a certain date and lost all my pics but not my itunes. I had to install AVG just to be able to scan for viruses because the virus would not let mcafee run.

  44. RC msb says:

    Oh and this may seem obvious and you’ve probably already done it. But be sure to search for unusually large files on your computer that may be the culprit. I once hag a log file go out of control and become 25 GB.

  45. RC msb says:

    In general when I have a tough Virus/Malware problem I just try several different products until one of them gets it. You can usually download trials for free. I have never found one that consistently gets EVERYTHING all the time.

    I have had good luck with Panda Cloud so far though. It’s a cloud based anti virus and keeps pretty up to date.

    Good luck.

  46. Anna Molly says:

    I’ve ran a disk scan, defragmented, ran a virus scan, malware scan, everything…sigh. :(

  47. Anna Molly says:

    Lisa ~ I keep getting “low disk space” at the bottom of my screen. I’m so annoyed because I can’t watch YouTube videos or download music or anything! I have a new client, well sorta’ new, and if I can’t get this fixed, I can’t work! ERRRRR, I’m so pissed!

  48. Lisa says:

    I kept getting a red x’d box at the bottom of my screen that said warning ram failure. Spent the whole day a few weeks ago removing it.

  49. Anna Molly says:

    Alleycat ~ Does this malware take up your hard disk space? I have this issue with something downloading files to my hard disk and it’s driving me nuts! I can’t get rid it!

  50. Michael Alleycat says:

    HitManPro? Sounds like a summer movie, starring Vin Diesel.

    Thanks Enigma, I’ll do that now.

  51. Enigma SD says:

    Michael — I had that virus also — download hitmanpro – it gets rid of it like a charm. If you are having trouble downloading the executable file for it, ask the blog gods for my email address and I will email you the file. It is a pesky virus!

    Hope everyone had a great weekend!

  52. Lisa says:

    Hey Beach_Girl

    I’m still trying to get out of bed, lol

  53. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!
    What an amazing weekend for me 😀 F1 Grand Prix in the pits,,, Awesomeness! What a great surprise it was to be invited by my friend! Met some great people, The race was Amazing even if it rained and was cold, it was worth every minute!

    Lisa~ get better soon

    Lily~ I would say some financial help for my business… I wish I was traveling like others, but I haven’t had the privilege 😀

  54. Lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. Woke up feeling worse than yesterday. Must have picked up something from the customers at the store as I woke up sick on saturday with a cold or flu or something. Glad i’m off today so I can relax.

    I had a nasty virus somewhere in windows. Everytime I would try to download updates or scan for viruses, my computer would keep shutting down and restarting. I spent an entire day a couple weeks ago restoring my computer and ended up loses all my pics and many files. Afterwards I was able to do a full scan. Before that I couldn’t keep mcafee on, it kept shutting off. Still to this day I cannot access seeking arrangement from IE without my screen going pale and shutting down, weird as it’s the only site that does that. I have to use firefox which I hate or safari.

  55. Michael Alleycat says:

    Yep, crickets. Spent yesterday trying to get some malware / keystroke logger off my PC. Thanks very much AVG antivirus for protecting me, not!

    My email has been hacked but the only damage I can find is spam emails going out from my yahoo address. Bank accounts are all intact. I uncovered the problem when I did a google search for ‘spysweeper’, a well known utility. Every time I did that search, my browser would crash. IE, firefox, safari all crashed. Think something is trying to hide itself?

    Still can’t remove the file – trying my 4th utility today, if that doesn’t work, I’ll have to reformat. Persistent little buggar. Grrrr.

  56. Midwest SB says:

    Good morning sugars!

    You know it’s summer when I haven’t turned on my computer in 2 days!

    Congrats to my little angler…3rd place in his first tournament. I’m so proud!

    Lily- I’ve loved the new experiences and traveling, but really love not being afraid to take time off my job search to finish my lifelong goal of a degree.

  57. Lily says:

    Thanks to the 3 ladies that answered!
    We need a new blog topic.


    SDinLA, I am glad to see you lurking!

  58. RC msb says:


  59. SDinLA says:

    The blog, it is dead
    No discussion of sugar
    Less sweet is my night

  60. Lisa says:

    To answer Lily’s question, although it was a few months over a year ago, my most valued benefit from sugar was being able to get out of my old neighborhood. Being able to stop living in fear and actually step outside my door past dark, and being close to my family for the first year or so.

  61. Lisa says:


    The blog is dead today, ok now please excuse me while I return to my head cold

  62. cleo says:

    RC msb: hear freakin hear!

  63. RC msb says:

    Hey Lily – That’s easy…. security. I now put more money in my retirement account each month now than I made my first year in business. In fairness I almost starved my first year in business, but I did discover just how little I could live on if I had to. It makes me appreciate what I have now and how far I’ve come. I hope everyone here gets to feel that sense of security some day.

    ’twas a great day to sail! 😀

  64. Kansas&Toto says:

    *Sigh* In desperate need of a white knight to help me with schooling. Trolling SA takes soo much time to find a right fit , Sick of viewing profiles where the men have no filters between being a gentleman and a flat out sleez-ball !

  65. Anna Molly says:

    Incubus coming to SPAC September 1st! I can’t wait!!!! I’ve been wanting to see them live for a very long time! So excited! 😀

  66. cleo says:

    hmm… i got a new phone.

    quite the difference, trade you? lol

  67. Lily says:

    I’ll go first- becoming a homeowner (11 months ago!) and being able to fix up my own home to my liking.

  68. Lily says:

    SBs- what has been your most appreciated benefit that you’ve enjoyed in the last year from the sugar lifestyle ( that you’d like to share)?

  69. Midwest SB says:

    Evening all! Very busy days lately which included getting stranded on a river until 3 a.m….long story, but we survived tired and unharmed!

    RC msb – would you like my tent and camp stove? My only perk are the sleeping pads :-) I love the not-so-rustic cabins after a long day of roughing it! I hate feeling like a sitting duck with a great big bullseye painted on the boat…be careful.

    Lisa – He’s a putz…I’m glad you put him off.

    There best thing about my birthday was me! Hahahahaha….nah. MLK was pretty busy during that time, so it’s no wonder I’m fierce when I decide to stand up for what is right and true.

    Off to bed zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Sweet dreams sugars!

  70. Lisa says:

    RC msb I don’t know if they have smoking clubs, it was just an example, lol I know they have smoke toy stores in my old neighborhood that sell pipes for something other than tobacco(sp?) .
    I actually bought one for my boss at that time when I drew his name in the secret santa thing. Of course he was a real piece of work, nice guy but last time I seen him, he had just got out of prison for the second time in a few years. Educated guy (English major) threw his life away.

    Rustic with all the modern devices, lol reminds me of a “camp ground” I used to go to many years ago in my home state, spring mill state park in mitchel ind. They had the “primitave” camp site aka wood building with hole for a toilet, the modern camp ground aka had a bathroom building complete with showers, and the “hotel” a modern hotel with all the essentials, including a restaraunt. Odd going to a state park and staying at a hotel and eating at the restaraunt instead of camping out and barbecuing.

    ok i’ve got to get out and take my walk on the track.

    Have a good weekend RC msb

  71. RC msb says:

    Hey all, I might iphone in a few times, but we’re heading out to go sailing this weekend. We’ll have a rustic cabin and everything. Personally I think they’re pushing the term ‘rustic’ when the cabin has a fridge, stove, microwave, and central air. But hey, that’s just me, I’ll certainly take it. Apparently rustic has something to do with whether or not you have a dishwasher.

    There are some storms in the area this weekend so it may be dicey. On the other hand there are few things quite as exciting as being on a sailboat with a 15 foot metal mast during a thunderstorm. I once saw lighting strike a lake I was sailing on at the time. The wind had gone dead calm and I swear I’ve never been more awake. Every hair on body was standing up. After briefly considering a religious conversion I paddled to shore so fast I actually had a wake behind me. I’ve often wanted to tell my SD about that day, but if I did he’d never get on the boat again.

    Lisa – They have smoking clubs in Texas? Wow, I really need to keep up on things better. The only smoking clubs I’ve ever heard of were in Cali, and they don’t involve tobacco. So what is it in Texas? Cigars? Hookahs? Hams? How weird.

    Hey LL Cool babe! I remember when the first test tube baby happened. I was in college at the time getting my ill fated theater degree. Man you are such a pup! I remember we all tried to come up with good test tube baby jokes. Fortunately for all mankind we failed. On the plus side I now know your birthday, Mwahahaha!

    Have a good weekend all.

  72. Lisa says:

    first test tube baby? Louise Brown born in 1978 I think?

  73. Lisa says:

    LL I remember those books, they tell about all the things that happened on your birthday and then at the end they say the most important event, you were born. I know I was born on the day of the NY blackout in 65.

  74. Lisa says:

    LL this guy got all freaked out when he found out that he would be expected to pay an allowance if an arrangment was worked out. His idea was to find someone to sleep with that didn’t expect committment out of him. He thought he just met someone, stayed over at their house overnight and left the money on the nightstand. How tacky.

    I swear I have came across so many “country boys” that don’t know what is going on. He got all defensive and said he was not familiar with the ways of we high rolling city people. I mean really a man joining a site like that and complaining that all the women want support is like me going to a bar and complaining about people drinking or going to a smoking club and complaining about the smoke. Weird.

  75. LL says:

    Hey hey!

    Lisa – What a creeper! Glad you stuck to your guns and didn’t go on the date. My first WYP offer had emailed me that he would like to meet up in the hotel lobby and have a frank discussion about expectations, if we were in agreement then he would book a room Hahaha. I sent to usual polite response advising I do not to sex on a first date and the rest of the blah, blah, blah, that goes with it…no surprise I never heard back; thank the heavens :)

    RC how’s it going boy! I loved the newspaper idea too…one year when I was a child a friend gave me a history sheet that was printed out (dunno the company – probably hallmark) with a bunch of top headliners that took place the day I was born, it was my favorite gift since we were pre-internet in those days…apparently the first test tube baby was produced the day I was born 😛 See I still remember some of the facts!

    AM – boo that…I dread fixing computers, I still have my desktop sitting off to the side waiting for an OS transplant; not happening anytime soon!

    I hope everyone has a wonderful sugary weekend planned 😀

  76. Lisa says:

    I had a nasty virus on my desktop a few weeks back, one of those that gets into windows and tells you something is wrong with your ram. Took me all day to get rid of it as it kept shutting my virus protection down before I could get a full scan (computer kept restarting) I still have trouble with this site and WYP for some reason, just these two sites I cannot view on EI, have to use firefox which I hate or safari.

  77. Anna Molly says:

    Hi everyone!

    MW ~ I could use a massage too! I have 3 computers I’m trying to fix!

  78. Lisa says:

    I didn’t like the sound of him from the beginning but I always try to check a person out first to make sure i’m not being over cautious. His response email was exactly what i’d think it to be. He said he’s going to quit the site as soon as his credits are up as there is nothing but gold diggers on the site and he is a simple country boy looking for a little action without having a woman fall in love with him. blah blah.

    i’m over at starbucks now having a latte, getting out of the house for a little while. Another hot day here.

  79. RC msb says:

    Lisa – Wise choice.

  80. Lisa says:

    OMG this guy is cracking me up. He just sent a message that he had a very young woman whom he use to see every week . He would leave 40 dollars on her nightstand before he left. OK what is it with these guys?

    This has been a very amusing morning, I think i’ll head over to starbucks for a latte now.

  81. Lisa says:

    Hi RC msb, I know men do it but I don’t think it’s very classy of a woman to do it. Any that site has a list of rules for first dates and it clearly says that expected sex on the first meet will make you come off as crude and rude. Anyway this guy is not looking for a sb yet he selected that as his relationship choice. His idea is to pay 150 to meet and have sex and then he wants to visit often (he lives a few hundred miles away) a few times a month for an intimate relationship without financial support. He is fed up with the women he dates wanting something serious. To put it simple, he wants free sex and no obligations. He got mad when I sent him the rules of WYP. Also said my user name was a lie. I am not good at choosing user names and usually the ones I pick are already taken so I just used my intials and the first letter of the side of Houston I live on along with Houston. Not sure how that would be misleading. Anyway I didn’t like his profile when I read it but try to keep an open mind and check out my options. I feel confident that i’ve made the right choice deleting this one.

  82. RC msb says:

    Lisa – “who’d want someone who jumped into bed with them right after meeting them?”

    Ready? ALMOST ALL MEN!

    I swear, you straight people just crack me up sometimes. 😉

  83. Lisa says:

    A guy contacted me on WYP and then accepted my offer (150) then got mad because I told him I would not have sex with him on the first meeting. I reminded him of the rules of the site.

    Whhhoooaaa, sorry, I picked the wrong girl, as usual. NOT a sugar daddy that is going to pay you money like that. I can get lovin for free, it was just an idea to go on this site and get some that wasn’t complicated…and maybe fall for a good woman. Not to shell out my money to someone I haven’t even slept with. Good luck!

    I think guys are having problems understanding what a first date is. Anyway who’d want someone who jumped into bed with them right after meeting them?

  84. Lisa says:

    Hey Beach_Girl I always miss you, I went to bed at 1130 last night.
    About the coupons, it’s hard to find a store in my area (including the store I work at) that will take computer generated coupons (those printed out) because of fraud issues. I’ve tried using those and the stores would not accept them. The ones I get online are from free offers where I actually get a real coupon.

  85. Beach_Girl says:

    RC msb~ wow, awesome! I am sure they enjoy that… Awesome! 😀

    No Grand Prix parties for me this year :( but i’ll be watching on the weekend… Last year was awesome, I was almost hoping that it would be the same this year…

    Cleo~ yes, that is it… there are many things you can do before surgery, Dr. rather try all other options before that… Hope you enjoyed the sun today !

    Have a great night Sugars!

  86. RC msb says:

    CardsFan, Midwest. soft spot, Lisa – Thanks for the kind words. You are all welcome to do the same if you wish. The payoff takes a long time but it’s worth it.

    Have a good evening everybody.

  87. Lisa says:

    Hi Midwest. Yes I come from that little tiny town of Salem.

    Had a nice walk to the store. The humidity was a little lower and there was a slight breeze so the 98 degree heat index didn’t feel as hot. Got home went online and found a clinical online trial that pays almost 200 dollars for the study and I qualified but for some reason they were unable to verify my identy and I was rejected from the site for any study. Odd that I had the same problem when trying to view my credit report, they had my old address. Strange that they are getting my old address yet the bill collectors got my new address right away. Oh well so much for that money making idea. That’s what I try to tell everyone, any time I try something, it bombs. Also saw an add for dog walkers BUT you had to be available 8 am -8 pm to work 3 hours a day and had to travel to the clients house. You must have a reliable vehicle and clean driving record and valid texas drivers license. That eliminates me as I don’t even know how to drive let alone have I ever had a car or drivers license.

    so much for that.

  88. Midwest SB says:

    Lisa- we have something in common!

    Done! Didn’t do as well as I had hoped on the second mid-term…call it burn-out syndrome. It’s still a good grade, but I like A’s.

    Sooooooooo tired and would love a massage. Maybe I’ll close my eyes and dream of a hot stone massage by Ryan Reynolds. Free and sugary!

  89. Lisa says:

    Good afternoon everyone
    scorcher here. Going to brave it in a little while and walk down to the grocery store 5 blocks away. Decided not to shop at the store I work at today as i’m always in a hurry to get home so instead i’ll walk down to the nice store down the street (it’s the sister store to central market in Houston).

    What a great idea RC msb. Those little things you dont’ think about but years later they are so valuable and cannot be bought. Only thing I know about the day I was born is it was the day of that big black out in NYC back in the 60’s . I was born in Indiana so no black out there.
    My boss way back 20 years ago bought every one a newspaper the evening the gulf war started and I lost is somehow. I would have been interesting to keep that paper because it was about the time my daughter was born, it would have been interesting to look back at though.

  90. soft spot says:

    Ok it is sooooo hot here in the Southeast. It is 95 degress and the heat index has it at 110. I think I will be in for the remainder of the day. Stay cool sugarworld.

  91. soft spot says:

    RC what a wonderful idea. I know it touched the hearts of all those that recieved your gift. I’m pretty sure it will be carried on as you wish. All I can say now is WOW.

  92. LL says:

    Good luck M W….I’m sure you’d do great 😀

  93. Midwest SB says:

    RC msb – Wow…just wow. ***sniff***

    Rough 24 hours, but will have to share later. One more mid-term to go.

  94. LL says:

    Cards – You should change your moniker to “The Silent Witness” for all your lurking 😉 Glad to see you posting, I knew you couldn’t give up the blog addiction 😛

  95. CardsFan SD says:

    @RC msb

    Wow. Coolest thing I’ve read in a long time. What an amazing idea. Nice job. 😉

  96. cleo says:

    Beach/Green Eyes: or it’s hyperhydrosis – also often relieved with botox and sometimes surgery. surgery is risky becase then the places you can still sweat get worse…

  97. RC msb says:

    This post has nothing to do with sugar but I’m posting it anyway and you can’t stop me. :p

    A young friend of mine had a son this morning so I went out and bought a newspaper.

    I like to share this technique from time to time because it has been one of the best ideas I ever had. Every time a friend of mine has a child I buy a newspaper from that day. I write down the name of my friend, the child, and the date. I clip this info to the paper and I put it away.

    Thirty five years ago I used to slide the papers between the mattress and box springs of my bed. Eventually it became a cardboard box, these days it is a ceiling tall stack of plastic storage boxes. Each box is indexed with the contents. I also used to track the dates on a yellow legal pad. These days I get alerts on my computer.

    When the young man or woman turns 18, I either make my way to the party or send it by UPS. When I have the chance to present it in person, I say “The day you were born your father called me and told me all about you. I went out that day and bought you this newspaper. This is exactly what was going on the day you were born.”

    It has never failed to impress. Not only the young man or women, but the parents as well. In most cases it has been a better gift than a hundred dollar bill would have been.

    In one tragic case a daughter died long before her time. I gave the paper to her parents and I don’t believe there is anything I could have possibly done that would have touched them more. That paper is now framed and hanging from their wall surrounded by photos of their daughter.`

    This tradition has become so important to me over the years that it is covered in my will. I have arranged it so that any of the papers remaining after my death are distributed to the parents.

    So as I said, every now and then I like to pass this idea on to others. It has always served me well.

  98. Beach_Girl says:

    Cleo~ Hope you enjoyed the sun and the patio! I enjoyed my pool and the sun for a while, it was such a beautiful until the horrible Tstorm…

    LL~ I didn’t know! Another Canadian girl 😀

    Lisa~ I’m from Canada and I got coupons online! not at all like what you could get… 😀

    GreenEyes~ Do you have a thyroid deficiency? there are products that help cut down perspiration, Drysol, Certain Dry, odaban , they are anti antiperspirants, just to name a few. There are also many things you can do to help the situation. Wear materials that let air through , consult a Dr. maybe it’s something more that just stress or anxiety that causes your sweating, it may be medical.
    I have a thyroid problem and at first I had excessive sweating but with medications for the thyroid it somewhat got better but not much. I got Botox, yes Botox , injections and i’m sweat free now!
    Botox is not only use for wrinkles 😀
    Hope that helps

  99. Lisa says:

    I think i’ll just take the bus and stay in my nice safe neighorhood after dark. The darn thing would get ripped off over there and in my current home, well, that big ugly thing would make the place look bad. Perspective renters might think there was some kind of securit problem.

    I was looking at some houses and apartments for sale in some big cities on Trulia (I do it just for amusement as I get joy out of looking at the apartments in my old neighborhood in chicago that were run down back in the 70’s and now they are sold as condos for 200 and 300k and are beautiful vintage buildings. So nice to see they were saved. Not like that in Houston where a vintage building in from the 60s 70s’ and apartments are torn down when they’re 30-40 years old. Anyway I was looking at some random ones in various cities and one I viewed was a small house for sale for 35k (that ought to tell you something) the seller posted pics of the house which was in not so good conditon and rather old. Many of the pictures showed graffiti covered walls and the windows were boarded up outside and inside as well as having two by fours reinforcing them. It makes you wonder about the neighborhood when you see stuff like that and who would want to live there. lol

    I would swear you were in the last row

  100. RC msb says:

    amelia – Glad you like the pics. The texting thing isn’t something I can’t do, it just falls in the Idontwanna camp :)

    SDinLA – I know all about holding the ones in the picture. Both before and after they’re on the grill :)

    Midwest – Tanks 😀

    Lisa – Damn I knew I should have put you in a hard top. I don’t know why I used a convertible! :)

    Clever, I didn’t think anyone would spot me with my hair combed that way. – For the rest of you I’m the one 40 rows back wearing the “I’m with biscuit lips” T-shirt.

  101. soft spot says:

    If any married SB would love to email me to give a few pointers please feel free to do so. SB God please pass my email on. THANKS EVERYONE!!!!!!

    I’m sorry hello everyone and hope you guys had a wonderful day.

  102. RC msb says:

    Doesn’t even sound like anything you even need to bring up in your profile. I’s save that one for face to face and only after he mentions it. It’s truly not something I’d worry about at all.

    I myself have Essential Tremor Syndrome – meaning my hands shake all the time. I’ve never mentioned it unless someone else did, and it’s never been an issue. In fact I’ve known a number of people for years that I swear have never noticed it at all. If you don’t point these things out people often have a way of not seeing them (They see you instead).

    I assure you it can be very noticeable. I’ve also had strangers come over to me to make sure I wasn’t having a seizure of some kind.

    Just be yourself, and if he brings it up, explain it quickly and change the subject to something about him. Always works for me.

  103. GreenEyes says:

    Okay, my new meds make me sweat, and nothing but air conditioning seems to help. I guess you could say my body temp runs hot. It’s fine if I’m working out and my heart rate is at 85%, but hard to explain why I don’t spend much time in the sun. Sound freaky yet?

  104. Lisa says:

    I think I saw RC msb in that crowd photo, I know I saw him

  105. Lisa says:

    Good afternoon everyone
    Finally home from work.

    RC msb if I drove that thing through my old neighbor on my way to work, i’d better have some good ammunition because the ms13 gang members in my old neighborhood would throw me off that thing and go window shopping (it’s quite common over by where I work for there to be smash and grab burgleries (they smash the windows and steal everything they can before the police get there). I think i’d better stay off that thing, not really crazy about the color either, and does it have a good sound system?

    Beach_Girl I love coupons and used to do really well with them, back in the heydays when they were tripled and doubled. Now that the sunday paper is no longer in my budget, any coupon I get comes from an online offer or one that is inside a product I buy, so I dont’ get to coupon much more. There is only one grocery store chain in my area that ever doubled coupons (the other two chains are discount stores so their prices are usually cheaper without the coupons. Now about a couple weeks ago I found out it seems the store chain I work at has stopped doubling coupons. I have had many customers complain to me when I scan their coupons whenever i’m up as a back up cashier when they find out that 50 cent coupons is not being doubled. Not sure if there is any store around me that does more than the face value anymore. I used to have alot of fun when I worked with my dad at the newspaper many many years ago as i’d get several sets of coupons every sunday since we always had lots of extra newspapers.
    What I really need is a coupon for half price on electricity or the phone bill, or a rent coupon, lol

  106. Midwest SB says:

    Amelia – one mid-term and one paper down. Another mid-term tomorrow and I’m halfway through Summer I. It goes so fast! Thanks for the well wishes!

    Listen, he likes you already, so relax. Don’t second guess everything you do. Ever heard “fake it ’til you make it” ? Put some confidence on and go with it until you believe in yourself. Meanwhile, come to us and ask the questions. He’s likely to tell you if things need to change. Stay away from getting too drunk, too loud, too slutty (except in bed), too needy, and too entitled….be a lady…and the rest will come.

    RC msb – you belong on Comedy Central….I’m almost in tears and gasping for breath!

    Olga – would you be willing to share a little more? We watch out for each other here. It’s ok to come here to vent…we’ve all been down that road. Welcome to the blog.

    GreenEyes – OK…you have my curiosity piqued. Let’s hear it!

    Hey everyone!

  107. LL says:

    @ B G – Ya girl…from the T dot baby!

  108. SDinLA says:

    @RC What do you know about holding breasts? 😉 Mmmmm…. that is a lovely looking pair of breasts though….

    @GreenEyes Freaky is not always a bad thing 😉 We need more info. It depends entirely what the “minor issue” is… Crazy stalker ex-boyfriend is one kind of “minor issue.” “Tractor story a la Seinfeld” is another kind of “minor issue.” “Fact that I used to be a guy”, hmm maybe that’s not so “minor.”

    Hope everyone is having a good week. Unseasonably cool here in LaLa land, can’t even put the top down on the tank.

  109. amelia says:

    midwest – you probably finished your paper by now, hope you did well. =)

    LL – i would have ignored him completely after that. hate it when people ask me for photos.

    RC msb – lolx… love those pics. esp that crowd pic idea. hahas

  110. amelia says:

    rc msb – hahas… you are meant to be good with gadgets! think yesterday i just read that you spent the entire day fixing your comp! hahas…

    midwest – omg! you have no idea! i can’t help it! i just kept thinking if i’m doing this right or wrong for almost everything that i do and even not do,n it’s driving me bonkers… n the worst thing is i can’t even talk to my friends about it since none of them knows about this. Don’t remember actual dating being half as hard as this.

    enigma & anna molly – i know! me too! i wld like to be in contact daily but it’s just this has been going on for 2 weeks and i kept getting minimal responses like this. think i’ll just cut down on the texting him.

  111. Olga says:

    Profile 603561(Sugar Daddy)
    is fake sugar daddy……Warning!
    Guy,who will take an advantage of you

  112. RC msb says:

    Hey GreenEyes, Welcome to the blog!

    I’m betting this will be easier if we know what the issue is. Otherwise it’s a bit like ‘Describe what I’m thinking of right now’. Just saying…

  113. RC msb says:

    Here are a few sexy shots you might want to send to the picture collectors…


  114. GreenEyes says:

    Hi all! Veteran Baby but Newbie to the website. What’s a good way to explain a minor issue without coming off as freaky? I feel like a complete dork trying to explain things on my profile, when I speak about them in person, it sounds normal. HELP!

  115. cleo says:

    beach same here, first the patio, then some bikini time in the park and THEN a great client :)

  116. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!
    Beautiful, sunny, a little breeze and 104 !!! YAY, I think I need to take some much deserved time off and enjoy my pool this afternoon 😀

    LL~ are you in Canada? Yes, cross border shopping is awesome now that we are at par and sometimes we are worth more 😀 Awesomeness … I will let everyone know how couponing goes for me 😀 I can’t wait…

    Universe~ hahahha Love the ride, Hey Lisa in her new ride 😀

  117. LL says:

    B G – I’m in on the cross border shopping trip I love the couponing show!

    *Waving at Lisa! in her new ride* – thx universe!

    M W – I love that idea too…I’m gonna make me a few pictures that’ll get these jokster’s off my back 😛

    The blog is sizzling with greatness the past few days!

  118. Anna Molly says:

    Amelia ~ I agree with Enigma and like Enigma I like to be in contact with my partner. My previous SD and I would talk eveyday VIA text several times a day, It was nice and I really enjoyed it, but, texting isn’t for everyone. I would follow Enigma’s advice and cut back on the texts and see what happens. Good luck! :)

  119. Enigma SD says:

    Amelia — it sounds to me that he isn’t that into texting, but don’t take it personally. It may be a generational thing or he is super busy and/or doesn’t like that mode of communication. I personally love texting with my SB, but I recognize that it isn’t for everyone. I would recommend cutting back on the amount you text him. Maybe he isn’t the right SD for you? It is hard to find a perfect match though, but consistent communication is pretty high on my list in a sugar relationship, but I know not all value that so much.

  120. Lily says:


  121. Midwest SB says:

    You made my morning!!!!! Bwahahahahahahaha!

    Off to take a mid-term!

    LL – I drew a stick figure with boobies and booty and sent it to a guy once. I never heard from him again :-)

  122. THE UNIVERSE says:

    Your Welcome.


  123. SD Guru says:


    I’m sorry to hear about your experience with the fake SD. A wealthy man can call himself a SD but that doesn’t necessarily make him so. You’ve received some good advice on how to protect yourself in the future so I hope it won’t happen again. Take a look at the following resources and see if it’s helpful.

    How to Identify a Fake Sugar Daddy” from the tips section on the right side of the blog.

    Sex, Money, and Sugar” in my blog where I discussed why a SD’s wealth, income, and lifestyle may not directly relate to how generous and how willing he is to provide an allowance.

    Fake Sugar Daddies Exposed” blog.

    Report on Sugar Daddy Sites” blog.

  124. Nico says:

    good point Cleo!!

  125. Beach_Girl says:

    cleo~ I wish I could actually go extreme like they do, I mean $1300 of food and goods, and she paid $0.01
    I am amazed at their system… and that you can use coupons on sale items and such… Sheesh they have coupons for mani/pedi, facials, and other stuff too… never see that here!

  126. cleo says:

    that’s actually deeply sane and not insane miss beach

  127. Beach_Girl says:

    Nico~ The show is insane! They do take it to the extreme on there, but hey if I can save 100$ a week of food and get cleaning supplies and such… I am all for that! I will let you know how I made out. I am actually going on double or triple coupon day so YAY me! 😀
    Yes, I know it’s insane to do it, but hey… you do what you can when you don’t have enough money to pay everything

  128. Nico says:

    B G…..I know the show!! Crazy!! Saw one where the store actually owed them money but, since they couldn’t give them money in return, they used the credit to buy things you don’t get coupons for such as fresh fruits/veggies and meat! Craziness! I still cannot bring myself to do it but time will tell!!

    I like the tank idea too! Hahhaaa….insurance may be a bitch though :/

  129. cleo says:

    omg please universe someday let me see a picture of lisa driving a tank!

  130. RC msb says:

    Michael Alleycat – And my favorite part…If someone starts tailgating you, just spin that gun turret around. That’ll get them to back off. 😀

    Kindred Spirit – Well I’m so glad you spoke up with your outburst! :) We don’t hear from you near enough.

    Lithium Ion batteries! – You must have one of the really nice ones! I’ll bet it’s fun. I’ve thought about electric bikes before, but never really lived anyplace where I could really get good use out of one. I thought my friends idea was brilliant though. Most college campuses are custom made for something like an electric bike.

    Thanks for speaking up. :)

  131. Kindred Spirit says:

    @RC msb

    Electric bicycles, heck YEA!! I have one and indeed LOVE it. Did a lot of research first but then found my beauty, hard to go back to regular bikes now, lol. I got one that has only the pedal-assist function, so it can’t be driven like a moped. Instead it “helps” you along (especially on hills) when you pedal, with a lithium-powered battery. FANtastic and by far one of the best purchases I’ve ever splurged for. Of course it isn’t for everyone’s tastes, and I suppose I am lucky that my city is very bike-friendly.

    Sudden outburst here, I suppose, but dang there are some things and topics and even simple words that can get me going in a positive way and I can’t keep quiet, lol. Electric bicycles are one of ’em. Carry on, have a lovely evening all! 😀

  132. Michael Alleycat says:

    @RC msb. A tank! I’ll kick in some $ for that. Anybody else?

  133. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars! Hope you all had a great day!
    It was beautiful and sunny here, got to sit outside for a bit, what a nice break 😀

    Lisa~ Ok, this might or might not help. But use COUPONS girl… I saw this show on couponing and omg… amazing, ok they take it to the extreme but if you try you can get groceries at half the price ( one lady had a bill of $1300 and with coupons….. $0.01 , how fuckin amazing!!!). I have a friend that goes to the US and uses coupons, even with the duty, she pays about 40$ for a full 4 person grocery! That is amazing, she goes on double coupon day… You need to look into this. I am actually starting that with my friend, I got my coupons and I am ready to go shopping for a lot less.

  134. RC msb says:

    LL – Glad you liked it.[img]http://i54.tinypic.com/34sp4ps.jpg[/img]

  135. LL says:

    Hey CA Dreamin – How’s it going today?

    RC you always crack me up 😛 I will definitely be downloading those crowd shots…brilliant 😉

  136. Lisa says:

    I’m on zero budget now, well I did treat myself to a donut this morning, lol
    actually I was trying to take control of my finances (thats the reason my mom and daugther have not spoken to me in weeks, I decided to use the money I took them out for coffee to buy normal groceries as i’ve been depleted my savings over the past year and those little dates have put me behind about 900 dollars, hard to believe but a few dollars here and there, will do that to you. i’m on top of being financially savy now and sticking to a budget. Feeling guilty about spending 20 a week on groceries instead of taking family out but it’s the only way to get myself back on track. can’t afford this lawsuit and they’re are taking advantage of my lack of knowledge. They already got a judgment on me even though I responded to the summons but somehow we are still going to trial. They sent me a letter wanting to settle. I offered them 20 a month which they will decline because the interest they want would be at least 70, and from what i’ve read they want big payments of like 300-400 which would be half my income, not going to happen. can’t garnish wages in texas and I have no real assets. I spend all my money or clothes and makeup and lattes(when I have money) I don’t think used cosmetics (even 50 dollar blusher) has much resale value if they were to seize it for my debt. lol I closed the account in 2004, paid it for the next 3 years, interest took all my payment, so nothing much reduced the principle, 4 years ago I had to decide rent or credit card. I chose rent. They sued me 2 months before the sol would take affect.

    ok gotta get to bed. Hard day at work tomorrow.
    Have a good night everyone

  137. RC msb says:

    Evening CA Dreamin. :)

    Lisa- The reason I even thought of it was because a friend of mine bought one for his son to take with him to college. But he only paid like $400 for it. Doesn’t really matter though because of the other obstacles.

    Dont sweat the trial too much. They can’t squeeze what you don’t have,

    Have a better day tomorrow.

    Yes, back in action and my new computer is so fast it’s almost scary. So nice of you to notice my absence. Must have been the deafening silence :)

    Well 2 out of 3 and all that :)

    You might just think of it as natural selection. The smart ones went out with you, the moron was left behind. I’m pretty sure that’s how it’s supposed to work. I’m a bit behind on my Galapagos Islands research so I’m not sure.

    Funny I always get asked for less pics. Nobody ever wants more.

    Actually if I were you I would download some of those massive crowd shots of thousands of people. Then put a big red arrow on it pointing to one of the dot sized people. At the other end of the arrow write “ME”.

    Send as many of those as they want.

  138. CA Dreamin says:

    Good evening all!

  139. LL says:

    Hey Sugars 😀

    RC – Glad to see your back in action on the blogs after MIA for a few days! Yes two great dates, I was hoping for three but the guy I was to meet tomorrow said he didn’t get my email confirming so he scheduled appointments instead…oh and that he was still waiting for more pics that “us guys are visual creatures and it all starts at the attraction part”…such a joke. I countered that an email was sent and perhaps he should check his junk box along with the fact he wasn’t getting anymore pics since he was previously sent some. I made sure to voice my disappointment and the reschedule date he proposed would not work (ever!). Guy counters back sorry didn’t hear back from you so I booked meetings now…MORON! ah well…can’t win them all right?

    And I can’t seem to get a joke daddy out of my life!

    MW – I’m with you…lets ahead to the ATL heat girl!

  140. Lisa says:

    Roads is something Houston has too many of. Too many roads, actually too many freeways, too many bad drivers and not enough sidewalks and pedestrian underpasses.

  141. Lisa says:

    RC msb my mom and daughter were almost killed about a month ago by a woman talking on her cell phone driving a hummer. They were crosssing in the cross walk and had the walk light. She slammed on her breaks and didn’t even acknowledge them. Not sure about the tank thing, not sure my apartment would allow me to park it, lol

    Checked out the price on those bikes, 800-1000 dollars yikes. I have no money at all. Just scraping to be able to afford the rent increase coming in October, I’m getting a 20 a month raise at work next month and an 80 rent increase in october and I have a credit card lawsuit trial in July. I’m offering them the 20 a month I have but they won’t want it, they want big money.
    Right now i’m just trying to survive, and maybe have a latte once a month or so

  142. RC msb says:

    Hmmmm so no bike then. How about a tank? I bet a tank would solve those problems. After all it doesn’t really matter what other drivers think when your driving a tank. I assure you they will get out of your way, Even if your in the wrong lane. It will also show those Hummer drivers a thing or two. And you really don’t need to know how to drive a tank that well. If you hit something. you’ll plow through it like tissue paper. Heck you don’t even need roads. You also don’t have to worry much about anyone stealing it…. It’s a tank! If someone stole it, it would stand out like…..well like a tank. I’ll bet it would even make the neighborhood safer. I’ll bet those teenagers would keep their distance if they saw that your complex was protected by a tank.

    Of course they do get really bad gas mileage. Something like five gallons a mile. Oh well, the quest continues….

    Have a better day Lisa :)

  143. Lisa says:

    Hi everyone

    RedMaru, the rain just made it hotter. It is so dry here that the ground is dry the next day, you would never know it happened except for the tree branches on the ground. The grass in my old neighborhood where I work is all brown and dead but the grass at my apartments looks great because the management owns a lawn service that keeps it pretty and green all year round.

    RC msb, besides for the fact that i’ve never ridden a bike, I don’t think i’d risk my life riding one in the city, not on the road anyway. My commute to work is on a very busy street about a mile away and not a day goes by that there aren’t several collisions. Houston motorist hate bicyclists and don’t want them on the road, riding on the sidewalk is not much of an option either because of the lack of sidewalks in many places as well as the broken, grass grown over walks near my store. I would be terrified to be on a bicycle. Funny thing too is that the only people around here that seem to ride bikes are the illegal alliens, they chain their bikes to the posts when they go stand out in the day labor pick up points. I’ve actually cut out all bus trips except to work and back, other than that, I never leave my neighborhood any more.

    Also where do you put an electric bike? I live upstairs and have new carpet that I cannot get dirty. We can’t park bikes outside here because of theft (actually the only crime that happens in my apartments is auto and property (left sitting in the parking lots) theft, most often caused by the groups of teenagers from other areas that come to the mall and then walk across the street to do things they shouldn’t out by the bayou behind my building.

    ok i’ve got to get some stuff done. Tired from my day at work, after being off 4 days, getting back in routine was tiring.

  144. RC msb says:

    amelia – I think Midwest has a great method there. I don’t really know anyone that dislikes getting texts. It’s that some of us don’t like to have conversations that way. Particularly older folk like myself that find texting a challenge.

  145. RC msb says:

    Just remember Midwest, ‘The geek shall inherit the earth’. :)

  146. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Midwest! Good to see you! :)

  147. Match says:

    Thank you for all the great information

  148. soft spot says:

    Hello sugar world. I was chatting with this gentleman online and he seem to be soooo into me and then when I said I don’t do a lot of pic sharing the hole atomsphere changed. I am sorry I sent you 2 and you sent one that is enough. What s up with wanting to collect these pics? I am still waiting on my Sugar. I prefer a married man as well because I am married also.

  149. RedMaru says:

    Hey Mistress 😀 New profile is fine don’t know if you want to be here in ATL the heat is sweltering . We could use some rain.

  150. Lily says:

    CA Dreaming – nope!
    So the email exchange can give us the emails!

  151. Midwest SB says:

    Amelia – I see texting as a way to send short, flirty messages or to send a quick update…not for carrying on a conversation. Rather than sending a “Hi, how are you” send a “thinking of you” or “coffee break?” which is code for want to have a quick chat on the phone over coffee? This way, you’re staying in touch, but it’s not arduous for non-texters. Also, don’t be too insecure by asking regularly if you’re doing something wrong/right. You need to be confident in yourself.

    RC – You had me roflmao at not bi-digital…such a nerd!

  152. RC msb says:

    amelia – He just might be one of those people that don’t really cotton to texting. You have to remember that it is a very different beast from other kind of communication including email.

    I myself hate texting. Even with an iphone, I find typing on my phone to be a pain. I also don’t know text-speak very well. I don’t really mind if others text me, but if I actually have time to answer them at all I usually just call them. texting always seems like a lot of extra work to me.

    Then again I’m in a tiny minority, the rest of the world seems to love it.

  153. amelia says:

    Enigma – thanks for getting back to me. i did ask if he thinks that i am texting too much and if he finds me annoying on 2 separate occasions. To which he said no. Well, to be fair, he replied most of the times. But they are really short and at its minimum. Example:

    Me: How are you doing today?
    Him: Good and you?
    Me: (well, since he is not telling me anything at all for me to talk to him further but himself, i go on and on abt myself for 2-3 messages long about something that i am doing or happened)

    Then there’s nothing from him anymore till i text him the next time…

    So, i can’t help feeling that maybe he’s not interested in talking to me. What do you think?

  154. RC msb says:

    Hey Midwest – No problem.

    You of course ‘can’ run Windows on a Mac. I just didn’t like it myself. Lots of people do it every day. You could use one of several methods to run Windows for your school portal only. I had trouble adapting to it. I guess I’m just not bi-digital. :)

  155. Enigma SD says:

    Amelia — it depends on the sugar couple. I had an SB and we texted each other almost every day for two years. I had one were it started out often, and then dropped down to 2-3 times a week. How often you will communicate with your sugar partner is something that should be discussed I think.

  156. amelia says:

    Hi all!

    Just out of curiosity, how often do all of you text your SD/SB?

    Do you think it’s too much to be sending a text everyday???

  157. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Hi AM!

  158. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Hey Red! How’s the new profile working out? Wish I was in HOTlanta right now!

    Peaches – Welcome back! Cool that you decided to go the travel route! It’s a bit more work, but I love to travel, see new places and it consolidates your time somewhat nicely. Keep us posted!

    RC – Ooops…my bad :-) Kinda sucks that you still have to use a PC with certain software. I only switched a year ago. I’m glad they allow word/excel docs to convert easily, but the online portal for school isn’t too mac friendly. Meh…still worth it.

  159. RedMaru says:

    Afternoon sugarfam!
    Hey AnnaMolly 😀
    Hey Katia Sorry to hear bout your terrible experience with that con man 😛 Unfortunately they come in all walks shapes sizes and looks even billionaires. Unfortunately you seemed to have encountered one who feels that because he has the money he has more of a right do that to you. I second Mistress of the Dark as a billionaire he shouldn’t of had no problem as a gentleman coming to you. There are several blacklist sites just google “fake sugar daddies”

    Hey Lisa – Hopefully the storms cooled things off in your neck of the woods. Here in ATL storms will cool things off briefly then we’ll get “swampy weather” and those big hard to kill mutant cockroaches will come out..ughhh!

    • katia says:

      Thanks Madru, it seems hard to work this blog and search for older posts…. I tried googling fake sugar daddies… I will try and spread the word on Malibuflyboy AKA billionaire Larry E and what a liar and false promiser he is Thanks for all your support. If anyone needs to email me its calybabe aol com

  160. Anna Molly says:

    Sorry about the double posts, but, when I posted the first one it told me I had already said that so I rewrote it and posted again. Ugh..

  161. Anna Molly says:

    Hi sugars! I hope everyone is having a great day! :)

  162. Anna Molly says:

    Hi everyone! I hope everyone is having a great day! :)

  163. RC msb says:

    Hey Honey – Congrats on the weight loss! – I’m sure Crickets are great now, but back in the day…..just saying :)

    Hey Lisa – Good to see you! BTW have you ever considered getting an electric bike? they’re pretty cheap, easy to ride, and they would give you a lot more traveling range.

    Hey LL – I am so happy your date went well! It’s great that he appreciated the importance of your family. It seems like you’ve had a few good dates lately. That’s so great! Just remember you don’t get to abandon us if you get a shiny new SD :)

    Wow! lots of new people and lots of old friends popping back in. Why did the blog go nuts when I wasn’t here? Eyes everyone suspiciously 😉

    I’m not going to shout out all our returning champions individually, cause the blog got pretty long while I was off line and if I miss anyone I’ll feel terrible. But welcome back!

    Welcome all newbies!

    I’ve been thinking it might be a good idea to have a topic on that again. There are so many things that you have to learn when you first enter sugar land. If fact I think it’s harder now than it used to be. Popularity has come at it’s usual cost.

    No offense to the newbies hear on the blog. In fact the fact that you are here shows that you are trying to learn. But for every person that comes here and asks questions there are thousands that just stumbled in off the street with no clue what they are doing, and no real desire to learn. They of course make life harder for those that take this lifestyle seriously.

    The only real solution I guess is to try and help those that do want to learn.

    OK I think that’s my meaningless rant for the day.

    Hope everyone has a good day!

  164. Peaches says:

    Hey ya’ll. :) Hope everyone is doing good. I guess it’s time to stop lurking again. Hope everyone had a good Memorial Day. I enjoyed reading the little debate. I love when two men decide to talk things out instead of use brute force. Much sexier that way. :) I really do need to spend more time posting and not lurking, but I just get caught up and when I go to post I realize that I am going to be late for class.. Well I’ve been talking to this pot. He seems really nice. We seem to have a few common interests :) And I want to say thank you to the girls for giving me some advice with my profile a few months ago. It really worked out. There’s not a lot of sugar here so the travel idea worked wonders. Hope ya’ll have a good day.

  165. RC msb says:

    Hey Midwest! – I have a Mac.I’ve probably owned 10 of them. I’ve never done Photoshop or DTP on anything else. Love them. But sadly a couple of the apps I use for my business are Windows only. I once tried running Windows on a Mac, but it’s not a very elegant solution.

    Haven’t caught up yet, but I hope you had a wonderful weekend. We always miss you when your not here.


  166. CA Dreamin says:

    Lily – Is your email the same as it used to be?

  167. Lily says:

    California Dreaming SB – I agree with what others have said. Try to shake it off and remind yourself of boundaries.
    I’ve missed you! SA blog gods please exchange my email with CA Dreaming?

  168. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    RC – you should have gotten a Mac! Just sayin…

    Katia – I’m sorry you went through this. You’re lucky he wasn’t dangerous.However, he’s no gentlemen for not coming through. If you want to talk offline, we can have the blog gods exchange e-mails. Google SD blacklist and you might find a site or two where you can share your story. Other than that, if you read the pages to the right about How to let a Sugar Daddy know you’re looking for a real arrangement, How to Negotiate with a Sugar Daddy and Traveling to see a Sugar Daddy, you will see some tips that will help you the next time around. Two very important points to remember: Don’t sleep with a man because you think it will secure the allowance and be safe. Flying to his estate on the first or even second date leaves you very vulnerable. A gentlemen will come to you

  169. RC msb says:

    Hi all,

    Had an exciting day today installing umpteen pieces of software on my shiny new computer. My dusty old computer went out with a rather exciting POP! Almost jumped out of my chair.

    Five grand later I rejoined the 21st century. Took me all day to get everything reloaded, had a few issues because of the new OS but all seems well again. Thank god for online backups!

    BTW is it just me, or does Windows have the weirdest version names ever? I have lived through V1, V2, V3, V3.11, 95, 98, 98Se, NT, 2000, ME, CE, XP, Vista, and now of course Windows 7. Which makes perfect sense as long as you don’t think about it.

    Sorry, I’m ranting. Going to bed, catch up later.

    Hope everyone had good day (or at least better than mine).

  170. Nico says:

    Hey Beach…so glad you’re feeling better!! I couldn’t imagine your workload with pneumonia!! INSANE!!! Girl, I can only aspire to be like you! Your drive and work ethic and to be admired!!!

    MW…I’m so bad. I met with a recruiter today but other than that didn’t do much that could’ve been considered productive. I need a plan “B”. Working the contract stuff now but who knows how long that will hold out. Didn’t do ANY school work today either…a 3-day weekend for me.

    And, on the SD front, I have a couple of potentials but cannot say for certain. Anymore, I am waiting beyond a 3-month mark to consider them an SD…too many meet, make promises with no follow-through then, when you thought all was good and you can stop looking, the rug is pulled out and you’re back to the grind.

  171. katia says:

    I wanted to make sure this posted:

    Hi Midwest, I am new to this blog… its very hard to find old posts and scroll thru etc… Yes Malibuflyboy is a well known billionaire… He said he was going to make my first meeting worth my while… as it was going to take me several hours to be driven and I was flown on his private jet (big deal), spent hours traveling. We had a nice lunch, he bragged about all his money then said he wanted an arrangement and at our next meeting he would give me my allowance and we would go shopping. So I left with nothing the first time, thinking it would really be worth it on my next visit. I didn’t think he would never pay. He invited me out the following week to a big public function, I entertained him for 8 hours during the day, along with meeting his friends and making him look good. During this time he told me about the car he was going to buy me and all the great shopping we were going to be doing.. Basically I wound up fooling around with him later that night… he assured me we were going to have a great arrangement and was happy that I was there, the whole time I never got the vibe he wasn’t going thru with the arrangement. Very long story short, I stayed the night and the next morning he claimed I needed to leave and there was an urgent matter going on. He said he was sorry but he would fly me back next week and wire me the money in a few days… I never would have left the premises if I really thought he was lying to me without some form of compensation. So I flew back thinking we had a solid agreement and he continued to text etc.. What it basically comes down to is he is a major liar and never paid me atleast even for my time!!! He led me on for weeks saying he was busy with work etc and he missed me and would make it up to me. Little did I know he was conning me along. I am a very pretty model and have a great personality. This is a billionaire who could easily afford anything. I basically went off on him thru text, email, voicemail and got nothing. There has to be other girls on here who have met him and been conned as well. I need help spreading the word so other girls don’t get taken advantage of! Let me know what your thoughts are?? Thanks in advance

    • Jolin says:

      hi, it’s me again, I have to say im very shocked to hear this. Im supposed to meet him soon, but i don’t know what to do now?
      can i talk to you in private through emails?

      • katia says:

        Hi Jolin, it is so hard to keep up with this blog!! The posts get lost. Yes Larry E is a liar…. luring girls for free dates, hes addicted to the website. Email me at calybabe aol com to discuss further

  172. Beach_Girl says:

    LL~ I wish I could rest, but I don’t have time for that lol… work, work, school, work and more work … that is all I do!

  173. Beach_Girl says:

    Midwest~ glad to hear you are better 😀

  174. LL says:

    CA Dreamin – nice to meet you to…welcome back to the blog hope you stick around for a while 😉

    MW – Sad but true, the heart has no logic at all…which is why I love the blog hahaha!!!! When in doubt come to the blog to discover the rational your heart neglects to conceive 😀

    Cleo – Well said girl!

    BG – Nice to hear you’re starting to feel better..whew pneumonia is killer to recover from…rest, rest. rest sweetheart :)

  175. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Beach Girl – Much better now!!! Rawr! Get to better health soon!

    Nico – I have to admit that I probably spent more time on the computer than studying today! It’s such a distraction for online classes….Squirrel!

    On that note, I should get some sleep…just as all the night owls come to play!

  176. Beach_Girl says:

    Nico~ i’m ok, feeling better. the pneumonia is almost over… business is slow but I will get there… it takes time and a lot of efforts. I am totally broke, but happy… lol 😀
    How are you? do you have a SD now?

  177. Nico says:

    BG…..hello!!!!!!! Good to see you!! How are you feeling? How’s business?

  178. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello sugars! Welcome to the newbies 😀

    CA dreamin~ so nice to see you again, as always you got great advice, cannot add anything to that 😀
    Cleo~ hey girl
    Nico~ hey…. now are you? sorry about the job girlie… you will find something soon
    Midwest~ Meow, prrrr how are you kitten?
    Guru, LL, Lisa, and everyone else HEY!

  179. Nico says:

    Hi Cleo and Thank You!! *hugs*

    LL ~ hello *waves*

    MW ~ I still have two years on my degree *ugh*. I am certain you’ll be armed and a force to be reckoned with …degree in hand!! Trying to not get caught up on the computer (unless it’s on indeed) too easy to become distracted!

  180. cleo says:

    it’s that old saw right? you have your life, i have my life and sometimes we have OUR life

  181. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Welcome Aby! Bring on the questions, but first read all the great pages to the right. Great stuff!

    LL – I like what you had to say…I was against the idea of seeing a married man because karma would find me. Since then, I have had one married SD. He wanted fidelity in sugar and I was fine with that. I had to put my ego away and say the same thing…what he does on his time is his business. Then again, I wasn’t in love with him. Love is not logical…ever! It’s one of the biggest challenges to do what your head says when your heart wants something different. This is where you have to have a truly honest conversation with yourself and determine your “haves” and “have nots”. The rest will fall into place.

    Nico – Same boat :( I’m finishing my degree in December though! Yay! We will get back on track soon!

    CA Dreamin – Just saw your mail…sorry! I, too, am very sorry for your loss. It’s hard when you need her advice and you can’t just go to her. I’m confident she left you her wisdom and life experience to help you make those tough choices. (((hugs)))

    Hi AM! Was there any strategy you used in your profile or communications that either a) drew men to you because you are married or b) helped men overcome the fact that you are married?

    Cleo – Nice to see you back – even if it’s less than usual. Your efforts in your business will pay off…just keep swimming. E-mail coming.

  182. LL says:

    Aby in NY – I always reference my intelligence and how many men find it intimidating…works like a charm 😉 oh…and welcome to the blog!

  183. LL says:

    Sorry Anna Molly and Nico – didn’t mean to miss you both on the shout outs…I forgot to refresh before posting to see who else had contributed 😉

  184. Aby in NY says:

    Hey there!

    I’m new to the online sugar world. Had one informal SD that I met irl. Trying to find another here in nyc. I feel like I’m having decent success-many compliments on my profile and no requests for nudes yet :) As a lawyer-turned-teacher I probably scare some of the creeps off.

    I’ll probably be asking for some advice soon, so I wanted to introduce myself first.

    I hope to get to know you all better!

  185. CA Dreamin says:

    Thank you LL – I haven’t been around here for a while, but knew I could count on my sugars to help me regain perspective. I’m so very sorry about your dad…it is very tough. Spend as much time as you can with him – you will treasure it when he is gone. Very nice to meet you by the way :)

  186. LL says:

    Hey sugars 😉

    CA Dreamin – If it were my situation I would tell my ego (the little voice in your head playing with your emotions) to take a hike…easier said than done of course because it wants you to feel hurt and pity. Your mind already knows this but that ego is a tricky little bugger 😉

    I am currently seeing a married man (something I was closed minded to until about 6 months ago) but when I recognized that he would always treat me well when we were together I came to the realization that what he did (ie his wife or even possibly another mistress) when we were apart carried no weight on our connection and time spent. To me, all I need to be concerned about is “our time” and not his personal time :)

    Koodos to him for being straight up with you about the situation, by what you’ve written it sounds like you both care for each other enough to maintain honesty and respect. My heart goes out to you for feeling like you got the shit end of the stick at the moment but I think you should hang in there, take time to recall your original mindset you were in when you began your relationship, redirect your current “love” feeling back to “unconditional love”, and if your up to it and can manage to do it with grace help come up with a way to resolve his dilemma…perhaps he will even think twice about trying to find a “fill in” during a personal crisis period in the future if his current super awesome SB could help him through this one 😉

    Words can not express how sorry I am to hear about your moms passing, I am in the middle of losing my dad so it hits close to home; losing a parent must be one of the hardest things to endure in life. Much love to you :'(

    Soft spot – hang in there, life is tough but it always goes on…don’t settle tho! 😀 Have you tried WYP yet…it could help temporarily until you find your SD in shining armor..just a thought and hope it helps :)

    Lisa – I know you went to bed but if by chance you’re lurking hopefully back to work tomorrow wont be as bad as you’re dreading it to be…you’re life is a catch 22…damned if you are at home suffering in silence and damned if you go to work having to deal with the minutia!

    Guru, Cleo, Enigma, Midwest – Maintaining the great advise as always 😉 Thx Midwest the date was great, he’s called me again today…somebody’s addicted to LL…always happens 😉

    Amilia (aka worried) – nice to see you posting again 😉

    I had another great date today, this SD seems to be one of the few “serious” pots; we are even in agreement to the terms and I may even have room to grow on this one after the first few months;) I am one step closer to reaching my needs 😛

    Where on earth is RC today??

  187. cleo says:

    hey lisa :)
    hey nico, good luck in the job search :)
    anyone else watching boston devastate vancouver?

  188. Nico says:

    Waving madly back at’chya MW!!!! I got laid off a couple weeks ago, have interim/contract work keeping me afloat but it’s not as good or reliable so in the process of looking for something new. I think my plans for travel will be back-burnered for a bit….how are YOU????

  189. Lisa says:

    It says they haven’t chose locations yet but were considering the woodlands (this is in the burbs and not accessible by car) and memorial park/inner loop which again are not easy to get to on a bus. There is only one bus line that runs regularly and weekends in my area and it just runs down one street , north and south, I work on the north route. Alot of what is said to be in Houston is actually in the burbs which many times are considered part of houston (for example Clear Lake) but are actually 30 miles a way (Clear lake is Houston but it’s 35 miles away and not accessible except by car)

    ok gotta get myself together now. Had a headache all day. Going to bed soon.
    Have a good night

    • Spawn of Santa says:

      Cali Dreaming, trust your gut instincts.
      Your manfriend has a reason to unleash all that unnecessary information on you, and unless he is autistic and completely cannot predict how his “honesty” would affect your feelings, he probably was fishing for a specific reaction.
      Maybe he is insecure u were gone for 10 weeks and that’s his passive aggressive way to tell you to start paying attention to him. If I were you, I would nip that sh!t in the bud. Nicely and sweetly, but in no unclear terms. Just because ur relationship is NSA, doesn’t mean he has a right to load you up with something that doesn’t take a genius to figure out would upset you

  190. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Oops…I think we posted at the same time. The report I saw was dated Feb 2011 and mentioned opening locations in Houston soon.

  191. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Lisa – Awesome!

  192. Lisa says:

    I checked the site and seems the closest one opening near me is in Tennessee, over 600 miles a way, nothing about anything opening in Texas

  193. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Soft Spot – Lisa is right. There are at least two married SBs on the blog who have had arrangements, so it’s not out of the question. You have a smaller population of SDs who will go that route. You could put another status instead of married, but state in your profile that you’re in a passionless marriage. You’re seeking an arrangement, not a divorce or new husband. Don’t hide it, but at least more SDs will visit your profile and decide if they want a married SB.

  194. Lisa says:

    Thanks midwest , i’m not familiar with trader joes, are you sure they are in Houston?
    The grocery store I work at now is considered the best chain here because it is union ( I throw away 30 dollars a month in dues and see no benefit other than it protects me from just being fired).

    I will check it out and see if they are opening any in my neighborhood.

  195. Anna Molly says:

    Oh, Hi everyone! Hope you all had a great weekend! xoxo

  196. Anna Molly says:

    Soft Spot ~ I’m married as well and I’ve had amazing sugarships over the past, well, going on two years now. It took 3 months to find my first SD. Good luck and don’t give up! 😀

  197. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    CA Dreamin – Hi sweetie!!!! I’m so glad to see you! I have to say I’m torn about your situation. He has been your SD for so long and really came through for you and your mother. You’ll never get that time back and he’s a gem in my eyes. If you two never discussed exclusivity or agreed to it, then he shouldn’t need a “get out of jail free” card. That said, if it hurts you, perhaps it’s time to review the terms of your arrangement. Here’s the double-edged sword…it could scare him that it hurt you and that you are this attached. The other reality is that he’s married and regardless of if he is leaving his wife, staying married, etc. it’s a relationship that will likely always have doubts about fidelity. (Please don’t shoot me married sugars!) If it hurt once…what foundation do you have for a real relationship? Are you willing to go down that road? Lastly, he went with this SB knowing you would be back…was that fair to her? It’s sugar, it’s NSA and all’s fair, but it’s more respectful if he let her know up front that this was short-term. It gives her the opportunity to keep her search going, make financial choices accordingly, etc. Maybe I expect too much from sugar, but that’s how it’s been for me. Whatever happens, you know what is best for you and I support you fully.

    Hellooooooooo sugars!

    Absolutely perfect weekend! Thank you sugars for reminding me how lucky I am to have met you! Sugar may come and go, but you will be in my life for a very long time <3<3

    Welcome to the newcomers! You're experiencing flakes because you're new. It typically takes three months or more to screen through the posers and meet a real SD. Just keep swimming and don't let financial woes cause you to settle. He's out there.

    Nico!!!! ***waving madly*** Come to the Midwest and visit!!! :-)

    Lisa – Great time to go online and check out Trader Joes. They're a great grocery store that pays high wages and provides great benefits. They're opening locations in Houston soon. No need to reply to me…just take a look :-)

    LL- Congrats on the great date! I love a man who understands that family has to come first.

  198. soft spot says:

    Hey Lisa thanks for the advice. I will take it in. I got to do what is best for me and move on. It is hard now but I know it will get even better once I have finished school and on my own to do just me.

  199. Enigma SD says:

    GFE = girlfriend experience – means he wants you to act like you are his girlfriend – in instances, acting is not required :)

    PSE = Porn star Experience — he wants you to make love to him like you are a porn star :)

    Soft Spot – there were some posts about a year ago on married SBs. There are some that married SBs that have had good luck, but there is also a significant portion of SDs that prefer single SBs because it is PERCEIVED to be less complicated. Therefore your chances will be even less than single SBs. I prefer a single SB also, but it is not a deal killer if it was a really good match. However, not many married SBs can travel with me, which makes it tough. Hang in there!

  200. Lisa says:

    soft spot, there are many sbs that are married, there are many sbs that are not blond white women, there are many sbs that are not 20 something. It really doesn’t come down to whether you are married or not, I don’t think the single ones have any more luck than anyone else. The fact is there are more sbs than there are genuine sds.

    I’m struggling myself, had to cut off my family coffee dates just to save for my bills, that costed me my family. If I had a sd again, I could get back to treating my family and they might like me again. I’m losing patience too but then I remember that I have to take care of me, no one is going to do anything for me, no one is going to help me in crisis, i’m alone to deal with it alone. The turn on that is that I don’t owe anyone anything either, If I do it on me own with my own resources, I have no obligation to help anyone else either.

    Don’t lose hope, sometimes it takes forever.

    ok off to take a shower
    goodnight for real

  201. soft spot says:

    Hey sugar world here I go again. I am still waiting on my Sugardaddy to come along. I am a married women but the passion is completely gone alone with the finances that I need. Is it the fact that I am married I can’t get a sugardaddy? If they are willing to help me get out and on my feet I can consider the fact of moving out. I can’t do it on my own now that I am in school and it takes all my money to pay bills and tution. I need some advice here ladies. I am almost over the edge.

  202. Lisa says:

    Good evening Cleo, others

    wow looks like more storms for us tonight. We sure need the rain though.
    OMG I just signed up for a non sugar free site and it makes the fakes on this site look good. Nothing but one word messages and men who can’t spell and work in food service, etc. Old men looking for young women to RV with them, yuck. One guy even jumped me because I thanked him for his message and committed that it was nice to get a message from someone that was more than “hey there” he got mad and told me I was too picky and bitter. Gee just because was glad to get a message with more than one word in it. I read his profile and it is just a list of all the things he doesn’t like about women. I suggested a colon cleansing for him. lol
    I need to delete my profile there, I was just keeping my options open and well that site isn’t an option, lol

    I got back to work tomorrow. It will be weird as i’ve had little human contact (other than going through the checklane to buy a soda) and have not spoken in 4 days. Total isolation sucks.

    Have a good night

  203. CA Dreamin says:

    Thanks so much Cleo, I know you are right. The relationship is definitely most important to me.

  204. cleo says:

    GFE means you’ll give him a blow job and pretend to love him

    PSE means he expects to have your ass and plans to bitch about condoms

  205. cleo says:

    CADreamin: he’s married right? I think you just let it go and see if he treats you right… but then i never believe protestations of exclusivity in the sugar bowl and definitely not if they’re married…

    congrats on a year with an SD, not many can do that…

    it depends what’s more important to you, the relationship or the arrangement

    • SD Gurua says:

      @CA Dreamin

      My #1 rule for sugar relationships is “don’t get emotionally attached, especially with a married man.” It’s great that the arrangement lasted over a year. But if both of you don’t keep your emotions in check and maintain a NSA boundary, then you’ll probably have a bigger problem down the road than dealing with him having another SB.

      I am wondering, what does it really means by GFE?

      Google gfe and you’ll see that it’s a commonly used term in the escort world.

      @soft spot
      Is it the fact that I am married I can’t get a sugardaddy?

      Take a look at “Thoughts from a Married Sugar Baby” in the tips section on the right hand side. Personally I’ve had two married SB’s in the past, so being married shouldn’t prevent you from being a SB. But it comes down to a SD’s personal preference whether he would be willing to consider a married SB. Perhaps you’d have more luck with married SD’s because it would be easier to keep the NSA boundary.

      I am almost over the edge.

      That sounds a bit desperate. Keep in mind a desperate person rarely makes a good SB or SD.

      GFE means you’ll give him a blow job and pretend to love him
      PSE means he expects to have your ass and plans to bitch about condoms

      I’ll take the blow job, love not required!… and I’ll take the ass with no bitching from me!! :mrgreen:

  206. amelia (previously used worried) says:

    I am wondering, what does it really means by GFE? I mean surely he doesn’t wants the nagging and most probably anything which are inconvenient for him. Does it means that the relationship has to be exclusive?

  207. CA Dreamin says:

    OK – so I will put this out to the sugar community – you let me know what you think. I’ve been with my married SD for over a year now (it has become much more than SD / SB). My mom recently passed away and for the 10 weeks prior, I spent a great deal of time out of town by her bedside (“SD” was very supportive and bought me plane tickets, helped w/ her care) – but – he got lonely during those 10 weeks and found another SB, who he told me about when I asked him. She isn’t local like I am and he says he doesnt want to lose me and loves me and she isnt a serious relationship and is certainly no one he could ever love (his words) and he is trying to figure out how to exit from that SB gracefully (as he just slept with her after she said she NEVER sleeps with married men), but I am conflicted – pretty hurt. And I know he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings, so, do I stay and wait to see if he lives up to his word, or do I walk? Sadly, I do love him.

  208. CA Dreamin says:

    Hey there sugars – I know, it’s been a LOOOOONG time! I need some advice – any of my old SB or SD plas here?

  209. LL says:

    Hey Lisa

    Hopefully the storms cooled down the temp for you :) 4 days off of work huh…tough on the income but great not to have to deal with the boss and co-workers 😀

  210. Nico says:

    Hiya family!!! I wanted to pop in and say hello :-) Hope you’re all doing well!!! Hello and welcome to the newest family members!!!!

  211. Honey says:

    hey, Let’s not rag on cricket-they run andriod and are tuff little buggers cause I always drop mine!

  212. Lisa says:

    Hi LL

    wow we had some storm here. rain, hail, wind

  213. LL says:

    Hey sugars…hope the weekend went well for everyone :)

    Re: WYP Date: Due to an extended photo shoot for my girl there was now way I was going to make it for my date and in the heat of everything I forgot to store his number in my phone to touch basis in the afternoon to keep him posted. I got home and called him right away (which was the first time we spoke on the phone) and he was totally cool with the cancel and said not to worry and family always comes first…he was a total gentleman throughout our conversation. We rescheduled for today, met up at a local restaurant and chatted away for a good three hours….he’s totally worth another date. I didn’t have to ask anything about the money, half way through our date he casually handed it over “before he forgot” 😉 I didn’t want to open it up and check the amount until after we parted ways but was relieved it was what we had agreed to. He even offered to buy me a few things I was in need of as he understands the challenges single mothers face on a daily basis. Looks like I have another date for Friday :)

    Congrats Dallas on the new catch…sounds like you’re gonna have fun with this one 😉

    Way to go Honey on the weight loss!!!

    Welcome to all the newbies :)

  214. Kennedy says:

    By when do you need to know that your potential sugar daddy or sugar baby and you have an arrangement agreed? Is it a combination of some stated expectations (e.g., on your profile, in-person, etc.) with the chemistry you have with them?

    **After we’ve met and concluded there is in fact chemistry, is when that discussion should occur. Anything before that is premature and may not even be necessary. There is no need to be hasty. It is important however, to get an initial feeling for each others general expectations.**

    What are your thoughts on sugar test drives?

    *No man that I have ever encountered has ever asked for one after seeing me.*

    What are your thoughts on re-negotiation?

    *If they are necessary then I would be open. I have renegotiated with previous SDs mainly after time has passed and trust has grown. It has always been a beneficial re-negotiation.**

    How’s your sugar life going lately?

    *I’m a bit in limbo due to my inability to decide whether to stay or go*

  215. Lisa no longer has a family says:

    It’s like we’ve been hit by a huricane here. Heavy rain, wind, hail, broken tree branches, power went off for a couple seconds

  216. Lisa says:

    Good morning RC msb, Cleo
    Welcome ocdcsd, nice avatar

    Looks like another scorcher here, might hit triple digits
    I’m so ready for fall/winter as I hate being stuck inside, but it’s either stay inside or fry what little brain I have, lol

  217. RC msb says:

    Morning all.

    DallasBaby -Congrats! Sounds like a winner, best of luck with him.

    Welcome ocdcsd – no scoffing here, welcome aboard!

    Welcome Caz – Yes, but you’ll always find a lot more that aren’t. Its a game of numbers and you have to filter through a lot of chaff to find the wheat.

    We always recommend the reading material on the right side of this page to anyone new to this lifestyle. There are many good articles, tips, and blogs. it will give you a great base of information.

    After that, yes, you can usually get your questions answered here. It’s a pretty good group of folks.

    cleo! good to see you girl. You sound pretty busy right now. Life does that sometimes, keep your head above water, and good luck with everything.

    Lisa – Always good to see you. I remember the cricket well. I think they are much better now but at the time I gave friends that used them a hard time. I always called them glorified walkie talkies. :)

    • Honey says:

      Hello Everybodeee!! Getting ready to head back to the states, have to catch up on the blog, but wanted to preen….I’ve lost 11+ pounds since I’ve been here in Costa Rica! They are a dieters dream! The hate fat or grasa, as they call it and the area is so mountainous,add the easy and cheap availability of the fresh local fruits, plus Alli(which I took only off and on, sporadically) and hey, almost a dress size. If I had kept my drinks to a better minimum, I maybe could have done more but, I’m going to stop and congratulate myself for losing as much as I did. (Honey pats herself on the back! Good job, Honey!)
      How is everybody today? Good I hope?

  218. ocdcsd says:


  219. cleo says:

    OCDC SD: gravatar dot com and you have to associate the pic with the email address you use here (i have one gravatar account associated with four pics and four different email addresses so it’s well set up
    alleycat: i’m trying to save/promote my business, find an allowance daddy, clean my apartment, visit family and take care of some friends who aren’t doing well… i have to back off the blog, heck i haven’t even really read what i missed…

    how you doing?

  220. Michael Alleycat says:

    @OCDCSD – welcome! Have any questions, ask away.

    @Cleo – where you been, girl?

  221. cleo says:

    OCDC SD: don’t worry, there’s always someone to welcome you even as everyone scoffs and points and stuff. like me, right now, hello and welcome. :)

  222. Dallasbaby says:

    Caz: yes, but they are few and far between. The best ones have this softness about them in photos. Some would say more of a fem look. That type tends to understand how this works.

  223. Caz says:

    Hey all

    Well I am new to this site and so far a little deterred by the responses I’ve been getting, is there really any genuine SD’s out there???

  224. Lisa says:

    At that time, “Cricket” didn’t work outside of Houston, meaning if you went out of town, even while still in state, your cell phone didn’t function. It was actually the most popular wireless carrier in my old neighborhood.

  225. Lisa says:

    Drove an old beat up truck with fishing equipment dumped in the back
    Had a “cricket” cell phone
    Had a roommate

    ok back to my very rare weekend off from work, sooooo boring

  226. OCDCSD says:

    I’m new to this .. scoff now

  227. DallasBaby says:

    Sugar Daddy fail game:

    talks about all the furniture he found free in the garbage and all the other house items he bought cheap , even said we could get on his scooter and head to the ritz,…. scooter was because he needed to save on gas !
    Tried to make out with me: I told him we should wait and get to know each other more. He said waiting was over rated. Wore dirty eyeglasses too !

  228. DallasBaby says:

    I had an amazing date with my twitter “gift daddy” who is early 30 ‘s and turns out he is an FBI agent and was in town ” looking ” for a criminal. I think this could be a serious relationship for us. I must say a man who has a badge and carrying a gun was a turn on !

  229. RC msb says:

    Hello all, yet another exciting day in sugar land!

    I heard a funny story from a friend today about a date from Hell. I got to thinking it might be fun to cover some of the sugar-world dating disasters.

    As much as you hate to live through them there is always some truly memorable moments in a bad date. They often become the fodder for truly great stories.

    Two of the things below actually happened to me. The rest are things that happened to friends or ones I’ve heard. I love collecting these stories, so if anyone has any to add, please do so.


    Sugar Daddy Fails:

    Grandiosely pulled out a large tip for the meal, and then snuck it back into his pocket when leaving.

    Talked endlessly about the great time he had at the local swingers club.

    Proudly boasted about the great deal he got on his clothes in the clearance section at Walmart.

    Randomly sampled things on my plate during dinner.

    Loudly argued with the waitress to accept an expired coupon.

    Showed up in a beat up old junker, claimed it’s was a loaner because his BMW was in the shop. He had also parked illegally, I watched through the window as his car was being ticketed while we were eating. Said nothing.


    Sugar Baby Fails:

    Took a Valtrex when the drinks arrived while complaining ‘Damn Herpes is flaring up again!’.

    Kept spontaneously singing verses from a bubblegum pop song over and over throughout the date.

    When the waiter first came over she ordered a double Vodka rocks and commanded him to ‘keep em coming’.

    Began talking about marriage the moment she sat down. Had wedding colors all picked out.

    Kept looking at watch and finally announced she had another date at midnight.


    If you have any to add, I’d love to hear them.

  230. SomeRandom SD says:

    soft spot
    Why is there so many SD in the NC area that has been blocked by other members? Make me think they are stalkers or something. Well I am calling it a nite, have a good safe time sugar world.

    When it says “blocked by member”, that member has chosen to block showing YOU their last login date (and everyone else). That does not mean other members have blocked THEM. You have it backwards. :-)

    • soft spot says:

      Thanks for the clarification of that sweetie. I have not viewed their profile because I saw the note blocked by member. Again I say thank you.

  231. Lily says:

    Smarmy, squicky people on both sides of the sugar fence!


    But ambitious, classy ladies & white knight style sweeties who are ready to be your caring champion are also out there, and worth persevering to find.

  232. soft spot says:

    Why is there so many SD in the NC area that has been blocked by other members? Make me think they are stalkers or something. Well I am calling it a nite, have a good safe time sugar world.

  233. LL says:

    Helllllloooo sugars 😀

    Mr Realist – You’ve been getting quite a lot of slack from many of us the past week 😛 You deserve a call out so here it is…I liked your contribution to the blog today, I don’t ever get to see other babies profiles (unless we share on the blog site and even then we seem to have our own similar unofficial standards for profile writing) I found it very informative to get a glimpse of some of the asinine profiles and emails SD’s may encounter on a daily basis 😀

  234. soft spot says:

    OK ladies still no sugardaddy, but it is still early in the game. I am confident that the right one will come along. I am a student in school, also a married women, but I need a sugardaddy for the slack I’m not getting here. I mean I’m not getting it at all lmao. When a sugardaddy views my profile they are also married but do not sent an email wanting to get together, just the lame ones who are photo collecting. Will My Shing Armor come soon. Tution is kicking my ass!!!!!!

  235. Anna Molly says:

    Quiet day on the blog!

    Welcome to all of the new sugars!

    Hope all of you have a great weekend!

  236. Diana G.SB says:

    @Enigma I agree with moving up the dollar amount requested. Just did and now I’ll have to see what comes my way. I also added the dreaded “no sex” to the profile. Yes I basically may have shot myself in between my pedicured toes. I think I leave it this way for now . In a few months I may change it back. Also I don’t understand why guys lie about their age.

    On Wyp …One guy mentioned his pics being up to date and asking if I was ok with his age. Funny thing is in the email he said he was 1year older. So I asked about the discrepancy and he said it’s because he will be that age in a few months. Hmm really ? because you’re not going to be that age until the end of the year. lol I thought this was odd because if it was an issue why would I have accepted a date? He made the mistake of providing too much info and I googled him. Now unless he was a child prodigy graduating high school at the age of 8 then he just lied about his age. He cancelled on a date we had planned but stopped all communication when I told him that he didn’t have to lie about his age , I would have still dated him. I guess people don’t like being caught in a lie.

    Also one of his photos screams early 90’s. Guys typically don’t wear the part down the middle long floppy bangs look any longer. I’m no fashion police but some looks are too obvious.

    Another guy has a picture that screams early 80’s… Can we say POLAROID BOYS AND GIRLS.

    @Mr Realist.
    Wow yes those requests sound like escorts or girls really desperate to pay bills. Most likely they are in a bind and will do anything for a dollar. Apparently if they did that they could probably rake in anywhere from $5,000-$20,000 a month playing the numbers game.

    I feel sorry for the girls that are in a bind I mean If you know someone is throwing money over their shoulder because they just like watching it fall.lol Why wouldn’t you want to say hey give it to me! Then again I would not like being turned into a human pretzel just because or feeling like a hamster in a wheel that never gets the nibbles. I guess the only thing you can do is hope for the best and be leery of those that are in a rush.

    With pictures things can be altered and photo shopped.I think someone above wrote that some guy photo shopped his stomach . lol How stupid could a guy be? Unless he’s doing same day lipo then he just destroyed a level of trust they may have shared. I vote for webcam and good lighting.

    BTW added a few more pics to my profile.

  237. Mr Realist says:

    In regard to the current discussion involving propositions and photo requests:

    Intro letters with sex for money requests

    Unfortunately, there’s always going to be rude guys with no tact. However, please remember that as SB’s you probably don’t regularly view all the female profiles. Many girls state right in their profile that they want letters with straight forward $ propositions. SOME not-too-bright guys or novices may get the idea this is how it’s done. Here’s just an example from one girl’s profile:
    “Let your money do the talking”

    Responses I receive often involve propositions, here’s one from just yesterday for example:

    “hey there maybe lunch or dinner 250”

    Pic requests

    Again, there’s certainly a lot of guys who just like looking at pics. Girls who’ve posted clear, descriptive, non-glam shot pics shouldn’t send out any more until they’ve spoken the phone. Keep in-mind that there can be other legitimate possiblities for why a guy disappears after the pics. He might have initially thought a girl had a certain look which appealed to him but changed his mind after viewing subsequent pics. Fearing being labeled as a “picture collector” I’d been very reluctant to ask for any in the past. However, after wasting thousands of dollars on multiple fiasco’s I’ve been more thorough in making sure we’ve both provided descriptive pics.

  238. SomeRandom SD says:

    @Michael — I actually, out of curiousity, checked, and her name is indeed still on those pages, also in others postings, not just hers — I think that’s how it got skipped.

    I put in her name into google, with site:seekingarrangement.com to confirm, to avoid the cache possibility, went to the hits and did a search. So, she’s right. Hopefully the blog folks can clean it up.

  239. Enigma SD says:

    Diana – perhaps put a dollar range amount, that might get rid of some of the clowns. Not sure what pics you have posted, but I am guessing lingerie or bikini pics attract the wrong people. There are a ton of people on both sides of the sugar bowl that just don’t get it and both SDs and SBs have to weed through them — consider it part of the journey. Be prepared to use the delete and block command often.

  240. Michael Alleycat says:

    @sbsb – it will also take google 2-3 weeks for the links to disappear from the search results. They cache the results for a while, so even if references to your name have been removed from the blog, it takes 2-3 weeks for them to disappear from google.

  241. Diana G.SB says:

    @LL I’m actually a bit shy to put my profile in here. But I updated it again and If someone is still dumb enough to ask about sex , well then they can’t read. Actually I think these guys that have contacted me aren’t reading at all . I think they see a few pics, member below gets hard and wa la insta sex and more pix req. I even have in my profile that pic sharing is lame! Get with technology and get on cam. If a guy says he doesn’t have a cam then in today’s world it’s like saying he doesn’t have money.

    ohh and btw some profiles are just hilarious!!! And wow there are some really hot guys on here ( if those are their pics).

    I’ve even viewed a few guys under the negotiation range that say flat out I will not be giving you any money, I’m just hot and can take care of you when you’re in my company. I’m pretty sure these types will try and offer drugs, drinks and club hopping as their arm candy as benefits…ohh and you have to sleep with them too. My jaw almost dropped reading some guy’s profile in Beverly Hills that had these details above but also demanded specific height , age ,hair and eye color requirements. I could appreciate his honesty but thought wow so she gets nothing but arm duty? I was thinking he needs a girl that already has a SD that will enjoy him as back up refreshment.

    @soft spot I agree! It’s horrifying when you see they seem really nice and down to earth and think wow this guy sounds like a dream and then you get that dreaded ” do you like kinky sex” first message after reading that he’s respectful and a gentleman.

  242. soft spot says:

    I am so tired of these guys contacting me and thefirst thing comes out is when can I see you at my private home for a nite of pleasure. I am not a $2 dollar hoe sorry. They put all this BS in their profile but when you began to chat all they talk about is screwing on the first meeting.Is it my profile that is attracting these type of want to be SD? My standards are set for the type of man I’m looking for so they need to read then contact. lol

  243. Spawn of Santa says:

    Um why is my comment about Lisa’s situation deleted? I didn’t say anything that Lisa hasn’t said herself multiple times. Or is it wrong to express concerns for the feelings of people Lisa mistreated?
    I guess if someone doesn’t come to this board, it’s ok to speak nasty of them, as Lisa does about her own family, yet simply listing the facts THAT SHE STATED HERSELF is somehow breaking the rules?!

  244. LL says:

    Diana G – It’s got to be something in your profile attracting these clowns, I MUST be lucky because I never get men that bold and brash..perhaps if you’re comfortable in doing so, you can attach your profile on your next posting and we can take a peek and suggest changes to help you reduce the amount of escort style daters you are encountering??

  245. Diana G.SB says:

    Maybe I should get out of the negotiable range. I think most of the guys in that range are the ones contacting me with the sex and pics crap. Time to move things forward.

  246. Diana G.SB says:

    I was seriously pleased seeing that he was the first to contact me with at least 2 pics. Wow was I wrong.. First message and that moment was ruined!

  247. Diana G.SB says:

    Good Evening Sugars and Daddies,

    Must be my lucky day! Another blunt a$$ first message about sex, emailing and picture sharing via emails. Wow these guys are wonderful **eye roll*. Whatever happened to social graces? Is it me? lol

    Ok and this last guy wanted to know how many times he can get laid per meet. I smell a man used to prostitutes and escorts. I don’t know why they just don’t put that in their profile instead of the ” I’m a great guy and love to sail bs”. Get real! Your looking to be huddled in a dusty motel 6. Uggh gross!!

    And what’s up with picture sharing? Why do you need more? Is he trying to build a portfolio for me or something? geeez.

    I advised him that he should put his required number of orgasms in his profile. He may just get lucky.

  248. LL says:

    Good evening sugars!

    Hope everyone is looking forward to the weekend :))))) Anyone anticipating any juicy sugar dates?

    I had one 5 hour (2nd date) this morning and a first date this afternoon :) Saturday another but it’s from WYP ($200 offer and early evening which is a bonus for safety concerns)….hope it goes alright and I will definitely spill the details 😀

  249. Spawn of Santa says:

    RedMaru, Lisa can’t really expect unconditional love from her family, as she didn’t even raise her daughter herself, but instead pawned her off on grandma.
    Even now she refuses to do anything to validate poor child’s need for parental approval and doesn’t take the girl’s feelings into consideration when spinning her web of deceit. I mean how would you feel if your own mother neglected you through your entire childhood and then, while appearing fairly well off (through her lies about her lifestyle), refused to acknowledge your importance to her or her pride in your accomplishments by making a big deal out of having to spend anything on small tokens of consideration/appreciation, never mind doing anything major?
    On top of everything, Lisa is so self absorbed as to have expected her young daughter and elderly mother to spend their hard-earned and by no means abundant money to buy Lisa a ticket for a cruise. That is after Lisa never even came close to meeting her obligation as either a daughter or a mother. I am surprised they haven’t cut her off earlier.
    Lisa’s daughter probably still suffers from the need to have a mom, and the grandma feels horrible for the poor girl and tolerates Lisa’s BS for the sake of her granddaughter. I would imagine the reason they cut Lisa off is because Lisa’s daughter was really hurt by Lisa’s behavior, and grandma was hurt to see her baby suffer like that.

  250. Sbsb says:

    Blog Gods- My name is still plastered all over that thread, So I am not sure what you removed? I emailed you at the address you gave me to explain it further. Thank you

  251. Blog Gods says:

    Sbsb, the name has been removed, but please let us know if you still see anything we missed! SA support should usually respond within 24 hours, but feel free to email the blog admin directly at: sablogmoderator (at) gmail dot com

  252. stephan says:

    Thank you Enigma for what you’re doing to help with this tragic circumstance, and I hope we can be of any assistance!

  253. Lisa says:

    RedMaru it’s a long time thing, happens everytime they don’t get their way. They have never forgiven me for getting out on my own at age 39 and finally thinking for myself. I love both of them and worry about my relationship with my mom as she is 71 and who knows how long she’ll be around. But I have to chose between having money for rent or taking them out as those little coffee dates and buying stuff over the past year has been depleting my savings and after all I have to look out for myself, I have no sd, probably will never have one again and no one to help me but me so i’ve got to put me first. My mom and daughter have more financial security than me and my daughter makes really good money considering she got this job when she was in high school and will be there 3 years in a couple months. She made twice what I made last year and has money to save and money to burn.

    I sure could use a sd now. I’m so bored and down all the time and there are so many things to do in my neigborhood but everything requires money, well except for taking walks which I try to do as much as possible but thanks to the scorching temps, I have to wait till around 730 , which I’m going to do tonight when it will be a chilly 94 degrees, lol

  254. RedMaru says:

    On the blog topic I wish I could get to the point I was getting an allowance! If I could I would be very happy so happy I wouldnt even think about re-negotiating for the first couple of months

  255. RedMaru says:

    Hey Lis not to get into your family business but from where I come from love especially from family is supposed to unconditional not contingent upon whether or not you can buy them things or take them out when they want it. From reading the posts your mom and daughter forgive me seem like two very selfish individuals exploiting their connection to you for themselves without any regard for you. I’ve been reading the posts and you should tell them the truth I agree and be done with it and possibly cut your losses with your daughter. If she has a that good of a paying job, she can buy her toiletries and sounds old enough to do so. I guess for me from what I read of your experiences I would be doing more to help my mother if I was in a position to do so not take from her. But I am different. I know they’re family but sometimes family I hate to say it can bring you down too. Just my two cents. Stay cool though

  256. Lisa says:

    I’m lucky my apartment doesn’t get too hot and I can keep my ac off most of the time. it stays about 80 degrees which to most people is hot but just right for me. Hopefully I can relax, if I don’t hear any more from that credit card lawsuit that just got a judgmetn against me even though I responded. It’s posted on the court page yet the other day I received a letter from the suing lawyers wanted to settle. I’m going to offer them 25 a month and I know they’ll reject it but that is going to put a big dent in my budget the way it is. As far as I know the trial is still on for mid summer, i’ll lose of course but at least I hope to be able to show them how financially dry I am. I’ve got so many issues going on with that and the fact that my mom and daughter have turned their back on me because I can longer afford to take them to coffee everyweek, I need to get all this stuff out of my system and just relax if I can.

  257. Sbsb says:

    Can someone please tell me how long it takes support to answer their tickets? I have made several tickets requesting them to take my full name out of ” The cherish and adore ” thread. When I first posted in this blog I got confused where it asks for your name so I put my real full name on there and did not realize it would get blasted on the thread. Now when people google me all my posts come up from this website that I do not want that info out there.

  258. RedMaru says:

    Hey Lis – unpaid vacation always sucks down here in public sector they call it “furlough” and they put it right before a holiday to make it look they’re giving us longer time off. But shows in our paychecks especially since we just found out our insurance premiums are going up…again. Trying to work on my book and my side business havent given up on either one but will admit an infusion of money to help out with expenses would make things progress smoother. So my sugar search continues. I feel for ya Lisa and that hot weather. Try not to exert yourself too much if thats possible.

  259. Lisa says:

    Hi RedMaru

    It’s horrible here, upper 90’s and humid. I work all day in a cold store and when I leave, the hot air hits me and any energy i’ve got left is zapped. I am so ready for October/November when it will be bearable to be outside

    I’m off the next 4 days from work because this week’s scedule gave me the last two days off and next week the first 2 days so i’ve got a mini vacation (unpaid of course) and no fun plans.

  260. RedMaru says:

    Afternoon everybody!
    Hey Lis glad to see hats of to ya bearing that hot Houston weather. Its up to 90 here in ATL and I’m having a time. Sorry bout the bad day your having
    H&A – I second everyones comments here Rape is NEVER the victims fault REPORT!!!
    Fancy Face – dont give up 9 out of ten its not you. It just takes time. And you will kiss some frogs before finding your prince. Something I have to keep telling myself. So far I have encountered cheap saccharin joke daddies who were waste of phone and in one case trip time. They were very clear on what they wanted and had no problem discussing it with me especially sexual but when it came to what I expected as it supposed to be mutually beneficial, it was not important, not relevant, etc. One even changed his tune to the beat that he expected pay for play before he would even consider an allowance. But he was supposedly high paid consultant that was in the employ of Fortune 500 companies. All in all I tell myself that there is an SD out there for me that will appreciate me, be a mentor, friend, lover and benefactor and I’m not chasing a fools dream. So don’t give up dear. Okay speech over

    Hey Midwest 😀

  261. Enigma SD says:

    Got it Stephan — thanks a bunch to you and Brandon for your help!

  262. stephan says:

    Enigma, I hadn’t recognized the email until Brandon sent me an email which I just saw this morning! I am so sorry to hear about this. I saw Brandon’s reply and we’re definitely going to get it taken care of any way possible.

  263. CardsFan SD says:


    Absolutely, if I’d not made a few prior arrangements just in case of that: previously, my gal had my best friends contact info, and her best friends had mine, in case there was something urgent/critical and she couldn’t contact me herself. The friends on both sides were aware of the relationship, so it made that part easy. However, if that hadn’t been done beforehand, then I’d absolutely check into it as you mentioned.

    (I guess that’s not a very business-like, transactional way to deal with it, but hey, that’s just me. 😉 )

  264. Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB says:

    Nom, nom, nom….have you ever tried chocolate-flavored popcorn?

    Happy Birthday Honey! Enjoy!

    Off to enjoy some qt with the mistress! See you on Monday!

  265. Enigma SD says:

    Question for the SDs – if you were in a good relationship with an SB, and suddenly you didn’t get any responses from her, would you google her to see if she was ok?
    The reason I ask, is that the best friend (who was also an SB) of an SB friend of mine recently passed in an auto accident — she was wondering how much effort she should take to try to find the SD to let him know. Thanks!

  266. Enigma SD says:

    Fancy Face — if you provide your profile number, we will be glad to provide constructive comments. Two months is not an unreasonable amount of time to find someone.

    Stephan — not sure if you got my email or recognized it as me.

  267. fancy face says:

    Hello everyone!

    Its been 2 months already and have yet not found a SD! If changed my profile I don’t know how many times but still nothing. Can someone please please look at my profile and tell me what’s wrong with it!
    I think my location has something to do with it. Please check my profile and me advice on what to do.

  268. SDinLA says:

    @Mr Realist I was the one who mentioned “old money” and I don’t mean to insinuate that I am any better than another person because of it- in fact I always say that my upbringing just breeds more insanity because people don’t have to worry about the day to day stuff and can spend more of their time working on their personality disorders and family dysfunction. 😉

    The SB you mentioned who was complaining about having to take half of her 15k allowance via a check is a new poster. I have actually not been a very active participant on this blog for more than a year.

    You will find a wide range of people on this site and in the “sugar world.” At one extreme it is one more avenue for prostitutes to find johns. At the other extreme it is a place where people end up in messy relationships that are no different than other forms of dating. In between there are many shades of grey.

    As I said, I know quite a few men who think the same way you do about all of this… vive le difference. But the core group of long-time participants on this blog- which as you point out is a very small cross-section of the membership of this site, which is itself a small portion of the people involved in these activities around the world- has what I would call a very “traditional” view of what SDs and SBs should be. Yes, it involves financial assistance, but the fact that this site chooses to include a category for financial expectations does not mean that the financial renumeration is paramount TO MOST OF THE REGULAR PARTICIPANTS HERE. You may consider it to be a less than optimal approach to all of this, but there are many variables and as many viewpoints about what is important in an arrangement, and I am just trying to point out to you as someone who’s been reading this thing for a while that your approach is not shared by most here.

    Personally, when I had SBs, seeking one abroad was never a consideration. In fact one of my key requirements was someone local. Did that restrict the size of the available pool of SBs to me? Indubitably. And I was in a position where I could jump on a private jet anytime I wanted to, if wining and dining Ukrainian women in Kiev was something I wanted to do (and I would have to say that of the almost 80 countries I have been to, there as as many attractive women in the Ukraine as any place I have been.) But there were a million reasons why I did NOT want to do that: a schedule which meant that being able to see my SB on short notice was important; being sick of traveling all the time; cultural issues- it was hard enough finding a young woman 20 years my junior with whom I had sufficient things in common without introducing the issue of someone who grew up in a former Soviet Republic etcetera etcetera etcetera.

    I don’t think any of the blog regulars who took issue with your characterization of this world would disagree that there are myriad opportunities outside of the good old US of A. But there are also myriad reasons why many of us don’t want or don’t need to be looking overseas to find what we desire. I think the initial reaction was more to your tone than anything else: you gave the perception, even down to your chosen moniker that implied that you are the one being realistic, that your way was the “right” way and we didn’t know what we were talking about.

    That’s all I am going to say on the topic. As I said, I do hope you choose to stick around- once you get to know some of the personalities here you will see that it is not as homogenous as it may seem to you now, and having a forum where one can openly discuss this world with both SDs and SBs is not that common.

  269. Mr Realist says:

    You’re not going to convince the vast majority of the posters

    I’ve chosen to respond to you because your post was written in a respectful manner and you did not misrepresent what I’d said for the most part.

    I whole-heartedly agree, I knew that going-in and that’s not my intention. At the time of this post the site lists 81,937+ female and 16,584+ male members, total=98,521+ There are roughly 50 posters on this entire 328 comment page. This is about a .0005% representation. The majority of the posts are made by less than 20 members. There is little diversity of opinion on divisive issues.

    My peer group is made up mostly of small business owners, an airline captain, dentist, paramedic, an inventor, and real estate investors. About half are “poor millionaires” with the highest net worth being 3 to 4 million max. None come from “old money” as a previous poster had termed it. All are white between the ages of 40-58 Only three are still married: one to a Ukrainian and one to a Russian who were both met in Ukraine. Only three of whom never dated outside the US and ironically one of those is married to a Romanian he met in the US. The others are divorced. My posts were targeted to this demographic simply to stimulate thought. I’m confident the ideas I’ve expressed would be well-received by men in this category.

    The SBs that post here take a much less mercenary approach to the sugar world

    Just a moment………I had to pick myself up off the floor. Would this be the same group which includes a current post where someone is “renegotiating” a paltry 180K a year salary,….. excuse me “allowance” for a 3 day “work-week”, and the pressing issue is whether to start taking half of it by check? A key component of the site is where SB’s are able to list the dollar amount of their expectations. This is a clear-cut business decision, to suggest otherwise is disingenuous.

  270. QuirkyCocoaBabe says:

    chance not change*

  271. QuirkyCocoaBabe says:

    @Midwest Mistress of the Dark—-love that name btw!
    What state do you live in? I might need to move there!

    I did ask around and it appears that in the state of Texas, if you’re a student you can’t get unemployment insurance, not even if you’re part-time. They feel like it would take away from time that you could be working or looking for full-time work. >:(

    Availability is part of their “ongoing” criteria to recieve UI—able, available and looking. I sadly discovered this in Texas Workforce Commission’s handbook today. I didn’t get a change to contact the UI call center about it before they closed but I will do that when I get up in the morning to be 100% certain. Class starts Monday and I want to be there if it doesn’t affect my UI. Also, thus far, I’m still waiting to land my first SD. It’s either flakes that initiate contact and nothing more or no responders. Keeping my fingers crossed though. :-)

    Thanks! I’m hoping that all this craziness will bring about some awesome Karmic rewards, Heaven knows I’ve paid my dues! I’ve started applying at temp agencies and call centers hopefully I’ll get something soon. I’m turning in for the night, but first….

    How’s everyone doing? 😀

    P.S. @Blog Gods
    Possible additions to the decoder page:

    “420-friendly” = “If you smoke, I won’t tell if you won’t tell.” OR “420-friendly and then some! What are you into? Whatever you want I can get it for ya. Let’s party and get fuuuuucked up!”

    “I’m debonair” = “I’m a pretentious snob.”

    “Heavy drinker” = “I don’t want to remember ANY of this.”

    “Light smoker” = “Killing you softly.”

    “Open-minded” = “I’m willing to date outside my race/ethnic background.” OR “I’m super kinky and into some really nasty shit but by the time you find out it will be too late.” [Insert maniacal laughter with thunderous lightening in the background here.]

    “Curvy” = “Rolly-Polly.” OR “Jelly-Belly.”

    “D&D Free” = “I’m really saying this because I actually want YOU to be D&D Free. Don’t worry about me.”

    *Even though I’m actually bi and very active in the bi community when I can be, these situations must occur I’m sure and the idea just tickles me. LGBTQ Gods, have a sense of humor; please don’t take away my gold-star bi-card!*

    Bi (female) = “I’m actually straight but may need a woman as a buffer to bed this gremlin, Quasimodo-looking SD!” OR “I’m bar-sexual so with enough liquid courage, I’ll get down with you, your girlfriend and anyone else in my path too..” OR “I’m just covering all my bases.”

    Bi (male SB) = “I’ll go straight for pay.”

    That’s all I’ve got. Good night all you sweeties!

  272. SDinLA says:

    @Moon Patrol I had never heard of that site. Just took a quick look and it looks pretty bogus. The number of profiles they claim is ridiculously high. They must be scraping data from other sites and posting fake profiles. California might not be a good example since we have the highest population of any state by far, so I entered Oregon, a state with a population of under 4 million. They claim they have 109,851 Sugar Babies in Oregon. That’s patently ridiculous. SA.com, which has been around much longer, has fewer than 1,000 SB profiles in the state. They’ve lost all credibility with me by pulling that kind of stunt.

    @Midwest, Honey et al “UI” is “user interface” to me, but you ladies seem to be using it some kind of financial sense. What does that mean?

    I tried to get through Mr. R’s automobile industry analogy, really, I did. But I couldn’t. I actually know a lot of guys who think that way about women/relationships. More power to them. I could never commoditize any kind of relationship with a woman like that. It’s NOT business, that’s the whole point. Just because you don’t plan on marrying a SB or SD does not mean that it’s a business transaction with “value propositions” and such. And Mr. R, that is why you don’t get that the SBs here keep likening your point of view to prostitution (which I do not have an issue with, anything between 2 consenting adults should be legal IMO.) The SBs that post here take a much less mercenary approach to the sugar world, as do most of the SDs who participate in this blog. When you equate everything to cold hard business, you should not be surprised that your point of view is lumped in with prostitution, because the way you look at the sugar world does come across as very transactional to those of us who do not worry about the “globalization” of human feelings and interactions.

    You’re not going to convince the vast majority of the posters here to look at it your way, so rather than keep trying to impose your weltanschauung on everyone who disagrees with you, perhaps you’d like to just join the conversations more lightheartedly. I for one welcome differing opinions, so I hope you stick around, but I can assure you that your point of view is in the minority with the regular participants on this blog, and you’re not going to sway any of us in our outlooks.

  273. Michael Alleycat says:

    Mr Realist
    My grandma used to say “first rule of getting yourself out of a hole is to stop digging”.. So hand over that shovel now, real slow and real quiet like, ok?

  274. Moon Patrol says:

    Lisa: in Texas I’ve seen some fat women in HEB. They really are a sight to miss. How do people end up so unkept? We area all born pretty new and then what? I think Dallas has the pretty ones from what I’ve seen on the Sugar sugar site. Does anyone like that site or have any luck with it?
    that’s the one I found my fiancee gal in.

  275. Moon Patrol says:

    I can’t believe these young SB’s. I was talking to a 20 y o and telling her what I know and seeing what she wants and then I decided to look her up on face book and she’s got a fiancee! How ridiculous is that? She wants money pretty bad but I have no deeezire to be any way involved. What’s a 20 yr woman doing with a fiancee anyway? to me that is a one way ticket to hell and divorce especially when there is not a lot of money flowing. I will have to mention that to her when I hear from her. Funny.

    • Diana G.SB says:

      To me this sounds like she’s looking for a way out. I’m pretty sure if a SD comes along, she will drop that broke fiancee fast.Her future husband ( fiancee) is probably a selfish , manipulating guy that’s telling her that she’s either too fat or too ugly . He’s also probably chipping away at her self worth. Now if only a truly great SD would rescue her from that bore of a man.

      tsk tsk

  276. DallasBaby says:

    You know what I hate? When a guy right away says ” Whats your story ? ” Do guys think we owe strangers our life story as to why we are on the sugar sites? All they will do is reject and judge you if it is not what they want to hear. Should it even matter? It should just be boy meets girl and that is it . Have men thrown romance out of the window? It makes it hard to flirt with a man who is talking to you like a dog.

  277. DallasBaby says:

    Diana G.SB – A guy who is bossy and asking all kinds of personal questions means he is used to street walkers and how to handle them. RUN FOREST… RUN !

    • Diana G.SB says:

      I already told him that! He slipped a few times with his desire to find a girl with a place and how hotels would pose a problem for him. FAIL! Told him he needed to go back to the escorts .He was so bold about what he wanted. I almost chocked on my own saliva a few times. Plus alot of the main parts in his profile he lied about and the truth came flowing out. Ohh and the desperation in his voice scared me to death.

  278. soft spot says:

    Hi ladies, I see things are going well for some, but not for me. Just a ot of jerks that want you to send them nude photos or online sex. Several of them want me to meet them in private remote place what the hell. I don’t think so on our first or second meeting.

  279. Diana G.SB says:

    Thank you ladies and gents for all of your wonderful advice. I did do the google voice thing and I’m so happy about having this feature.

    I already noticed that one fake SD was trying too hard to control the conversation. He also wasn’t listening but trying to probe for information. It’s weird when you feel like you’re having an argument over the phone with someone you don’t know because each person’s volume keeps getting louder and louder.

    “Silly rabbit trix are for Kids”! haha

  280. Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB says:

    Hi Diana & Bella – read the pages to the right. Their chock full of info in enough detail to give you a solid foundation. It won’t take too long and you’ll be glad you did. Get a Google Voice number. It gives you leverage to block and comfort in giving out your number (just still wait an e-mail or two). BTW – These contacts you’ve been getting are players smelling new blood. LL had great comments about that. Don’t be in too much of a hurry to find an SD…instead, take your time and find YOUR SD. We don’t have to settle.

    Intelligentsia – Welcome! It’s tough when sugar comes with drama. Then again, you’ve been together for three years with a generous arrangement, so it shows either a) you care and/or b) you know how good you have it. Either way, he may be having to hide how the money is moving around (especially with married or self-employed men). I don’t like the idea of having to report the income, but just see what is driving the decision. Remind him that he has to pay taxes on reportable gifts over $10K (I think).

    LASB – <3

    Hi sugars! I'm on cloud 9!!!

  281. Honey says:

    Hi Diana, I know it must seem like I am repeating some stuff already said and that you have already read But my short list includes. screening talk online once or twice and if you get NO red flags,proceed to the number exchange(you’ll have to ask the other ladies about google phones and such) and only when you feel comfortable, meet at a place that is best for you. Don’t go more than halfway to meet him. If they act, sound or are creepy,leave. You don’t have to subject yourself to a boor.

  282. bella says:

    Hello Ladies,
    Well I would first off like to show some appreciation and acknowledgement towards what you guys do, I am brand new to this I mean have never even been on a date with a sugar daddy yet I am started to speak to some men from this site. I would like to know some of you, since I know you have have so much more to share and a lot of experience. I would also like to make a friend or two because we’ll be able to understand eachother and share our experiences together.

  283. Lisa says:

    I go through the hood everyday, I work in it. Big difference when I pass back under the freeway when i’m coming home, away from the decaying apartments, pawn shops. bail bond shops (yes they actually have bail bond places in my old neighborhood and the jail is all the way downtown), and roach motel taco stands, on my side of the freeway there is the second best mall in Houston, a big medical center, area, nice restaraunts, hotels, etc. Everything is so much cleaner over here.

  284. DallasBaby says:

    and we where fighting over who was gonna stand up and pull the string …the bus driver said we where lucky we got off when we did because next stop was in the ghetto !

  285. Blog Gods says:

    LASB: Great codes! They’ve been added :)

    DallasBaby: Absolutely! :)

  286. DallasBaby says:

    Lisa- Me and a model friend of mine where in chicago shooting and I forgot my makeup foundation so we had to go to the mall to get some on a bus. We never rode a bus before and did not know you are suppose to pull a string to make the bus driver stop, so we almost rode into the hood ! We where freaking out ! I felt so stupid !

  287. DallasBaby says:

    thank you Blog gods !

  288. Lisa says:

    Hi RC msb, LL

    Yes they do it big in Texas. lol

    It is so horribly hot here, even at 8 pm it will be 90 degrees! I’ve been wanting to walk down to my favorite supermarket which is about 4blocks away (half the walk is through the air conditoned mall but the remaining walk is in the hot sun so I haven’t been able to do it. If I wait till the sun goes down, it’s too late to get out as it is a very nice store (in the same format as Central Market) but it is too close to my old street and there has been alot of crime in the parking lot, purse snatchings, robberies, theft, etc so I wouldn’t want to be walking through the parking lot alone after dark. I haven’t been out of my neighborhood in 2 months, except to go to work. It’s too hot to walk anywhere and i’m trying to stop wasting money on the bus for non-work trips.

  289. Blog Gods says:

    DallasBaby – you have mail :)

  290. Intelligentsia says:

    By when do you need to know that your potential sugar daddy or sugar baby and you have an arrangement agreed? Is it a combination of some stated expectations (e.g., on your profile, in-person, etc.) with the chemistry you have with them?

    ….I need to know before a meeting. There is no point in meeting if our expectations don’t match up. It is a waste of both of our time.

    What are your thoughts on sugar test drives?

    ….LAUGHABLE. There are no test drives… and the concept is a bit strange to me. We, the women, are not cars or merchandise. And them, the men, are not ATM’s.

    What are your thoughts on re-negotiation?

    ….I’m going through this right now with my current SD. We have an agreement of 15k/month, 3 days/week. He wants to change the method of payment from all cash to 1/2 cash, 1/2 check which would obviously lower my benefits. The only time we fight is when he tries to renegotiate (which happens every couple of months). My response is always the same: spend a few months apart, and come back when he is more reasonable.

    How’s your sugar life going lately?

    ….I’m on the hunt for simplicity. My current arrangement has been ongoing for 3 years. It is complicated, difficult at times, and I feel like I am constantly walking on eggshells when it comes to his fragile ego. Where are the simple guys that don’t want to control my life? Hmmmm.

  291. DallasBaby says:

    Ok, posted it on my profile link!

  292. RC msb says:

    Thanks Stephan, You Rule!

    Hey LL, soak up them rays when you can. will make you feel better.

    Hi Lisa, good to see you posting. I’ve actually heard the term ‘Texas fat’ twice this year and from totally different people. Yet another dubious claim to fame for the succession state.

    LASB – wish I’d got that on the list. You are absolutely right. I was once asked if I was anorexic even though I was just normally slim from running.

    Welcome Diana G. – Yes, sometimes it’s a bit like panning for gold. you have to wash away a lot of dirt, rocks, and crud to get to the gold.

    That said you might take a second look at your profile to make sure you aren’t doing anything that might be accidentally attracting the flakes.

    DallasBaby – You should be able to put the link in the ‘website’ box. Then people can reach it by clicking your name.

    Hope everyone’s having a good day.

  293. DallasBaby says:

    I hope guys realize the risk we take just to meet them . It seems like so many take it so lightly.

  294. DallasBaby says:

    Go on facebook then add crimesagainstmodels as you go through the photos you see the stories as well. Some crimes you have heard of before but others are guys who have been arrested !

  295. LL says:

    Hey Lisa – Thx sweetie 😉 & glad to see you actively posting today. Good call out on the photos of the liars, great attention to detail you’ve got! And LMAO about the American in London 😉

    Diana G SB – welcome to the blog :) If you’re new to the players are the first to attack, give it a few weeks (but don’t delete their initial email so you can track if they’ve trying another approach to scam you) you’ll notice it will die down soon enough. Try putting a deterring sentence in your profile which will make the players think twice if they should invest thier time in contacting you, but give consideration on this as you want to ensure you don’t scare off the good one’s too 😉

    Dallas – I’d love to check out the site, will you email me the link?

    Blog Gods – please send my email addy to Dallas

  296. Diana G.SB says:

    How rude of me not to introduce myself. Newbie SB here . Alot of information in these blogs. I read for the last 5 days before joining the site.

    Can anyone tell me how long they spoke with an SD online before meeting?
    Also is there a need to email outside of the site if the site does have this function built in?
    Is there a difference between younger SD and seriously older SD 50+?
    Hideous SD vs Handsome SD? I wanted to know if there was a difference in how they treated you.
    Also when did you feel comfortable giving your number to an SD?
    I had a few SD’s or possibly fake SD’s looking to meet right away but they seemed so desperate that it turned me off.
    Any thoughts?

  297. DallasBaby says:

    I found a page on facebook today about guys who scam girls into meeting and then rape, kill or beat up girls. Seems like it has happened many times. I wish I could share the link on here as it has photos posted as well.

    • Diana G.SB says:

      What state is this? And why hasn’t this been forwarded to law enforcement? That sounds horrible!

  298. Diana G.SB says:

    Ok so I signed up here . Wow the responses I’ve received so far are umm trashy at best. I mean I’m seeing some one liners, do you host? People wanting to call me after a one liner about sex . Also the let’s meet today, what’s your email. Funny thing is that many of these men have been on the site for 6+ months.

    I’m not getting sugar , more like a syrup stained equal packet.

    Also with the guys that have contacted me thus far they all seem like they’re in a rush of sorts. Like they plan on dying tomorrow or something. So am I just stumbling upon the craiglist rejects or is this considered fairly normal?

  299. Lisa says:

    “how” not “home”

  300. Lisa says:

    I remember standing in Leicester Square several years ago while my mom purchased tickets to a show. I was looking around me observing home height/weight proportionate Londoners where, then I noticed an obese woman with flabby arms and stretch pants hugging her 3 foot wide behind. THEN I heard her talking… with an American accent, I should have known.

  301. Lisa says:

    “Average” in Texas means about 100 lbs overweight.

    “slim” means about 20-30 lbs overweight

  302. LASB says:

    Midwest – Of course I have your back! :)

    Funny profile codes!
    This is something I’ve noticed.

    a few extra pounds = fat in a way you can’t deny it
    athletic = fat like a line backer
    average = fat like the average American
    slim = average according American medical standards

  303. *SBs have neither/nor

  304. Lisa says:

    Glad to hear you’re feeling better LL

  305. Lisa says:

    Good afternoon everyone

    While i’m too tired to try to come up with some hidden meanings, I do have a pet peeve about those profiles from guys that say they are a non drinker or light drinker, a non-smoker, etc and then every pic they have posted shows them with a beer bottle or a cigarette in their hand. Works the same with the ladies who post scantily clad pics of themselves in provocative positions yet state they are not looking to rush into sex or not looking for a sex for money situation.

    As far as unemployement benefits go, i’ve never been eligible when i’ve been out of work but I remember my dad worked at a part time job and still was eligible for full benefits. Of course his part time job paid about 500 a month and his UI benefits were 800 a month so i’m not sure how it works with other incomes and in other states. And this was 19 years ago.

  306. Unfortunately in your comparison of SBs with car companies you forgot one little detail: SBs do not have neither multiple lines, nor multiple units of “product”.
    Limited edition high-end market is very hard for newcomers to penetrate ( fairly constant supply), and luxury buyer usually has other consideration besides a price, therefore demand is rather inelastic down to a certain pricepoint.

  307. acidbear again aka carebear says:

    judging from who had the longest list of decoders, ill direct this question to SDinLA. if thats how you read all of those terms/phrases, what would you suggest a sb write in her profile that would catch your attention? afterall, there are only so many words in the english language.

    same question to anyone else who would prefer to answer. its best to focus on remedies and solutions to problems rather than the problems themselves right?

    my sd gave me very wise advice a while ago: don’t bring a problem to the table unless you have a solution.

  308. LL says:

    Hey sugars!

    Another beautiful day in the city :)))))

    Thx RC I’m feeling much better today thx…I might even be able to get outside tomorrow afternoon and soak up some of those rays 😉

    Honey….Happy birthday girl, enjoy every minute of it!!!!

    Quirky…sorry to hear of your troubles, I lost my job last year (strealined myself and 4 others out of their career) so I know the challenges both emotionally and financially you are facing…things will get better soon..just look at it as another opportunity life provides :)

    Mr. Realist – I’ve purposely avoided replying to your posts as I think your “logic” is completely narrow minded however you are entitled to your perspective and I always appreciate hearing other peoples perspectives :) Your last post is just icing on the cake; yet again you have turned a sugar relationship into a business model; last time I checked there is a line separating escorting and sugar dating (although it be a very thin and curvy line at times…and yes if you walk that line straight instead of following the curves – if not careful – you may find yourself on the opposite side you were intending to be on). When SD Guru challenged you on finding people who supported your methodologies you were quick to back out of the bet. I assure you that all my babies on this blog agree that they are not in the business of escorting; therefor your statement:

    “Smart domestic SB’s will sit-back and rationally evaluate both the the consumer-base and competition. They will learn to identify what life circumstances make an SD more likely to favor the services of a domestic SB or be unable outsource. A business-savvy domestic SB will also evaluate what the foreign SB competition is offering that’s grabbing SD market share. A sharp domestic SB can then tailor her service offerings and cost to meet the consumer’s needs.

    Those SB’s that aren’t smart enough to adapt will instead choose to follow the path of the domestic auto makers. They’ll ignore the benefits their consumers are finding in the competition and instead ridicule foreign SB’s. They will insult and attempt to marginalize a large share of their potential consumer base: saying they’re cheap, greedy, don’t understand an SD/SB relationship, or aren’t a “true SD”.”

    is appalling…again clearly this is for those who make a business out of professional dating.
    Last time I checked (which was 7 years ago – and I know I’ve haven’t gotten “less smarter”) my IQ was sitting at a 147 complimented with a 10 year career in logical and rational thinking for a fortune 100 corporation. It doesn’t make me less smart because I carry a certain level of integrity and a clear understanding of my intentions with me when assessing a potential sugar relationship; I don’t feel the need to adapt my personal fundamentals to attract potential SD’s…and I have no problem turning an SD down if our mindsets don’t align. We babies know the best way to attract the most genuine SD’s is to let your true nature shine as the goal is to secure an on going relationship regardless if it’s exclusive, NSA, or a shade of grey between the two titles. If you were to take a poll on what babies are looking for in a sugar relationship I am confident the numbers would favor an ongoing/secure relationship with a genuine and respectful SD who treats them like a love interest and not a business transaction.

    Furthermore it hasn’t gotten past me that you get off on stirring up reactions on the blog otherwise you would have take the hints other bloggers have tossed you to lay all this to rest and move on to new topics….But whatever floats your boat 😉

    Cheers everyone 😀

  309. stephan says:

    @RC msb: This is awesome!! Thank you so much for collecting and organizing all the decoders from last night for the page !!!

    @All: This is genius. The sugar blog family rules!!!!!! :)

  310. RC msb says:

    @Stephan – I collected and organized the various decoders from last night as best I could. Thought this might make it easier for you.

    Decoding Sugar World Jargon:

    From RC msb:

    Light Smoker……..I smoke cigarettes with the word ‘Light’ on the package.

    Social drinker……..Either ‘I only drink when others are drinking’
    or ‘I need a few rounds in me just to be social’


    Discreet…………….’I have a spouse’ or ‘I’ll hide from your spouse’


    NSA………….…….I am on the right site.

    LTR………….……..I might be on the wrong site

    Soul mate………….I am definitely on the wrong site.

    Sponsor…………….I will probably Not have sex with you

    Sexy………………..I will probably have sex with you.

    Passionate…….…..I will definitely have sex with you.

    Open minded….…..I will engage in sex that is illegal in Alabama.

    Kinky……………….Handcuffs may be involved.

    Erotic………………..I will bang you till your bleeding out your eyes.

    Test Drive…………….I just want to bang you and then dissapear like a fart in the wind.

    “Couldn’t find my true love on Match, thought I’d give this site a whirl”……….Dumber than a can of Tinker Toys.


    From Honey:

    Rubenesque……….. Fat


    NSA…………………….. I just want to fuck you and never talk to you again.

    “I deserve…”………… I can easily find another guy who will take me out to eat

    Ads from the web:

    Angry, simple-minded, balding, partially blind ex-circus flipper boy with a passion for covering lovers in sour cream and fish giblet gravy seeks exotic, heavily tattooed piercing fanatic, preferably hairy and stinky, either sex, for whippings, bizarre sex and fashion consulting. No freaks!

    Don’t Piss Me Off and Read this Ad!
    Three toed mango peeler searching for wicked crossdressing infielder. Like screaming and marking territory with urine? Let’s make banana enchiladas together in my bathtub. You bring the salsa.


    From SDinLA:


    “I deserve”……………Entitled.

    “spoil me”……………..Entitled.

    “I’m not a gold digger”…………………………I’m a gold digger.

    “I’m not materialistic”…………………………..I’m materialistic.

    “I have expensive tastes”……………………I have a $3k per night drug habit.

    “A friend told me about this site”. ………..Saw it on Craiglist when I was looking for a hookup.

    (In the old says when SA advertised on CL -or- “It came up on the first page when I googled ‘Sugar Daddy’”)

    “I’ve never done this before”………………My pimp usually handles all my bookings.

    “I take pride in my appearance and work out regularly”…….I am narcissistic and shallow.

    NSA ………………..I am fine with Pay to Play

    Listed age/Real age
    early 30s……..late 30s

    Height under 5’9″ + “model”……………. you can find naughty photos of me if you pay to join certain websites.

    Skeezy pornstar profile photos + “student”………..If I put down “pornstar” only the perverts and Dirty Old Men will message me.

    “In need of immediate assistance”……………I owe my drug dealer a lot of money -or- I am a compulsive shopper/gambler/whatever and am in way over my head in debt.

    “Package deal”/”Two for one”/”My hot friend and I”…………When we get you in a hotel room, our Russian gangster associates will burst in and help us blackmail/rob you.

    “Bi/Looking for a SD or SM”………………I’m a lesbian but the car needs to be repaired and I have bills to pay so I can put up with a penis if you give me money.

    Passionate ……………..I have a temper

    Drama free………………you get lots of drama, for free

    Classy……………………..but keep in mind I also think the people on Jersey Shore are classy.

    Looking for Mr. Right/true love/marriage………….Lacks in reading comprehension

    I have high standards/am picky……………………….you’d better have a really big wallet if you’re not hot

    Sophisticated…………………………..I prefer TMZ to Perez Hilton for my celebrity gossip

    I just recently ended a fantabulous arrangement when my SD moved abroad…….. ……………..My SD dumped me because I am batshit crazy and if I say he moved abroad you can’t check up on my story.


    From Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB:

    Separated…………….Married, but trying to clear my conscience.

    Bad Boy……………….Man who calls you names when you ask for an allowance.

    Mature………………….Over 60.

    Former Rocker……..Still living in mom’s basement playing drums with high school buddies.


    From DallasBaby:

    First time sugar daddy……….No one has ever gotten a red cent of me YET !

    First time sugar baby…………I’ve been giving it away every night for free at local bars.

    I am fixed…………………………..No condom sex.

    D&D Free………………………….Do you “Seriously” think I would tell you I do drugs and have HIV ?

    No drama………………………….You better not have any problems as I have enough of my own already and i’m all that matters anyway.

    420 friendly……………………….You will be on you knees til 4:20 am working my viagra lincoln log !

    This is not match.com………..Looking for a fast chic who puts out right away!

    Lets meet for coffee or drinks………..I want to spend little time and money to find out if you will sleep with me free.


    From Michael Alleycat:

    420 friendly………………….I’ll be so off my face there’ll be no sex tonight, or any night….

  311. Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB says:

    Quirky – I have UI and am attending school full-time through pells, etc. One should not affect the other. If you can manage on UI, sugar and can be resourceful, pursue your goals. Paid internships are another resource. I would warn that you will want to look at your state & local laws and see how part-time work will affect your UI.

    Katia – Thanks for the heads up. Would you care to share what happened. I’m not going to judge, but there are two sides to every story. Just know that having money doesn’t make one a gentleman. Always be careful.

    Michael – Hmmm…that always makes me more amorous! Then again, I am in my prime, so water would send me through the roof! :-)

    • katia says:

      Hi Midwest, I am new to this blog… its very hard to find old posts and scroll thru etc… Yes Malibuflyboy is a well known billionaire… He said he was going to make my first meeting worth my while… as it was going to take me several hours to be driven and I was flown on his private jet (big deal), spent hours traveling. We had a nice lunch, he bragged about all his money then said he wanted an arrangement and at our next meeting he would give me my allowance and we would go shopping. So I left with nothing the first time, thinking it would really be worth it on my next visit. I didn’t think he would never pay. He invited me out the following week to a big public function, I entertained him for 8 hours during the day, along with meeting his friends and making him look good. During this time he told me about the car he was going to buy me and all the great shopping we were going to be doing.. Basically I wound up fooling around with him later that night… he assured me we were going to have a great arrangement and was happy that I was there, the whole time I never got the vibe he wasn’t going thru with the arrangement. Very long story short, I stayed the night and the next morning he claimed I needed to leave and there was an urgent matter going on. He said he was sorry but he would fly me back next week and wire me the money in a few days… I never would have left the premises if I really thought he was lying to me without some form of compensation. So I flew back thinking we had a solid agreement and he continued to text etc.. What it basically comes down to is he is a major liar and never paid me atleast even for my time!!! He led me on for weeks saying he was busy with work etc and he missed me and would make it up to me. Little did I know he was conning me along. I am a very pretty model and have a great personality. This is a billionaire who could easily afford anything. I basically went off on him thru text, email, voicemail and got nothing. There has to be other girls on here who have met him and been conned as well. I need help spreading the word so other girls don’t get taken advantage of! Let me know what your thoughts are?? Thanks in advance

  312. carebear says:

    ps i found the results of the poll questions very interesting considering what most bloggers deem what should be the universal answers

  313. carebear says:

    spawn and sdinla, sittin in a tree


  314. RC msb says:

    @LL – Hey girl didn’t see you sneak in last night. You were hiding at the top of the page weren’t you? Shame, shame. 😉

    Hope you are feeling better today.

    Thanks Honey, You had some nice ones too. Maybe sometime we should have a decoder contest on what NSA really means. :)

  315. Mr Realist says:

    Following the dramatic rise in gasoline prices in 1973 the sale of Japanese cars skyrocketed. These imports got much better fuel economy, were more reliable, and cost less. This rocked the American car makers yet they still stubbornly dragged their heals and refused to listen to the consumer’s demand for smaller, more reliable, fuel efficient cars. Incredibly, instead of catering to the consumers needs they began attacking their patriotism. Bumper stickers saying “Buy a foreign car, put 5 Americans out of work” stickers were common sights on the road.

    The big three American car makers gave away the small car market. They continued to make larger, unreliable, less fuel efficient vehicles. In the mid-80’s the growing numbers of affluent baby boomers began to buy imported European luxury cars. Even though though these European imports were more expensive buyers were willing to pay more for the beautiful styling and crisp handling, and performance. The already reeling domestic car manufacturers now faced another major loss in market share.

    Of course, the auto makers were only one segment of US industry which has lost significant market share to foreign competition. Even the service sector has not been immune, information services are being out-sourced. There’s a likelihood that an airline reservation or warranty information call you make today may be answered by someone in India. The lawn service mowing your yard is likely to be staffed by foreign labor. The chicken you have for lunch may have been processed by a foreign born worker in one of our domestic poultry plants.

    Almost every item or service we spend our money on is affected by foreign competition/labor. To try and argue that any good or service is not potentially subject to this competition would be foolish.

    Now let’s go back to the mid-70’s when Honda, Toyota, and Datsun (now Nissan) were gobbling-up a growing share of the market. Imagine you are standing across from a Ford dealership in the Detroit area handing out leaflets touting the virtues of Japanese cars. On one end of the block there’s an Auto plant and a union office the other direction. What type of reception do you think you’d receive? You could be assured of a visceral reaction, a firestorm of bitterness and hate. Rather than evaluating the information in a detached, analytical manner to use the information in a positive way many would fly into a rage and shoot-the-messenger.

    Like it or not global outsourcing is a reality of life. It’s irrational to suggest that it’s not relevant to the SD/SB market. This is in no way to suggest that domestic SB’s will go the way of American made electronics or shoes. It’s all a matter of personal taste and preference. For many SD’s globally-outsourcing a SB is not a practical or desirable option.

    Smart domestic SB’s will sit-back and rationally evaluate both the the consumer-base and competition. They will learn to identify what life circumstances make an SD more likely to favor the services of a domestic SB or be unable outsource. A business-savvy domestic SB will also evaluate what the foreign SB competition is offering that’s grabbing SD market share. A sharp domestic SB can then tailor her service offerings and cost to meet the consumer’s needs.

    Those SB’s that aren’t smart enough to adapt will instead choose to follow the path of the domestic auto makers. They’ll ignore the benefits their consumers are finding in the competition and instead ridicule foreign SB’s. They will insult and attempt to marginalize a large share of their potential consumer base: saying they’re cheap, greedy, don’t understand an SD/SB relationship, or aren’t a “true SD”.

    Rather than having a logical discussion on the premise of this post you can be assured that some will immediately shoot-the-messenger or hysterically seize upon some small quirk in an attempt to derail the central theme: The recognition of global outsourcing effect’s on the SD/SB market.

  316. QuirkyCocoaBabe says:

    I’ve applied for UI, but it will majorly affect my plans for getting into school. If you’re in school, they stop your UI. It’s as if you can’t both work and get an education. My whole plan was to support myself while getting an education, but it looks like I’ll have to put it on the back-burner again if I want to keep a roof over my head until I find another job. The system is so fucked. I’m trying to stay positive about the whole thing so please keep me in your thoughts.

    I knew that she’s borrowed the music from a song in a Bollywood film, I just didn’t know which, and I bought Kala, isn’t that sad? Now that I’ve heard it, I realize her–though awesomely politically charged–song HEAVILY sampled Disco Dancer. Wow. Liking both songs now. Thanks for the link! :)
    Have you heard that song Jaan Pehechaan Ho? I first heard it watching this film, Ghost World. I looked it up and every now and then, I boogie down to it. 😀

  317. katia says:

    So the profile Malibuflyboy? He is a well known Billionaire. Has anyone else met him and had a bad experience? .Did you get paid? Unfortnately I was strung along and lied to. Beware.

  318. Honey says:

    RC and dallasbaby took the cake with the decoders, I am but a peon… Cocoa…wow…thanks… let me sleep on your dilemema…doesn’t sound like rainbows and unicorns,I sorry that it went down that way,you qualify for unemployment insurance?
    Spawn, you weren’t but I was…..lol!
    Night all

  319. Quirky, it is actually a reference to MIA’s reference – scene from the Bollywood classic “Disco Dancer” (click on my name)

  320. Spawn of Santa says:

    First Class Nazi…

    Oh okay. But does it have ice vendors nearby? It would be a shame to waste an entire man for a kidney.

    You feel such a strong reaction only because when I go into a know-it-all mode, it reminds you of yourself. And it is something you’ve struggled to suppress. I, on the other hand, have no shame about my pursuit of omniscience.

  321. SDinLA says:

    @Spawn Oh well… “No First Class for you!”

    I guess I can always ask Mr. R. for a referral to his Ukrainian connection. $50 a night hotel in Punta Cana, Spawn, you don’t know what you are missing. Did I say Off-the-beach? How can any self-respecting SB resist?

    And yes, you must be right, you know how endearing I find it when you go into know-it-all mode.

  322. Spawn of Santa says:

    SDinLA, what’s up with all this little girl “*if* you admit bla bla bla” BS? *This* isn’t some kind of domestic partnership we are talking about, it’s clear you are madly in love and can’t stop thinking about me. As far as how to ask – since *this* is developing in the best traditions of Bollywood, it is only fitting that you express yourself with a song and dance. Jimmy, aaja!

  323. QuirkyCocoaBabe says:

    Hey sweeties! And happy birthday to Honey! (Blog mods, please pass my email to her!)

    “It’s been a long time, should’ve have left you without a dope beat to step to..”

    Yeah it’s been a while, just had my world turned upside down:
    So, Friday, I was fired from my job for doing my job. Kind of a brain buster, right?

    Long story short (Oh yes, this may seem long but this is the shortest version I can give you; all the juicy details are just too much)—-My manager had it out for me ever since she got into deep trouble with our store manager in early April for intentionally** avoiding giving me restroom breaks and the legal regular breaks as well. She went to great lengths to pursuade me to transfer to other departments, even another store.

    Found out after the fact that she bribed and rewarded the one person I work in close quarters with, who was already creating drama for me, to continue to do so. When I got a call from an angry customer, I did everything I could to calm her down, everything I was taught by my original manager and the store manager, she was still irate and in the end, complained and my manager took the opportunity to write me up. It was at this meeting I told my manager that I knew what she was really up to.

    The next day, I got a call from a manager in another department requesting to page a salesperson (something that is a major no-no unless it’s an emergency since it disrupts the shoppers experience according to both my original manager and store manager) but I made an exception because we just started our major sale event. The manager complained saying I was rude because I asked if it was an emergency! That’s actually protocol. The day after that, I was fired for that very reason, following protocol. (Paging without asking would normally be grounds for a write up or firing.) But our ditzy manager who knew nothing about it demanded to know: “Who told you not to do that?”, “My original manager and the store manager.” She couldn’t even look me in the eye after I told her. She knew she was way in the wrong. Neither could her assistant, we dubbed her, “Tweedle Dumb or Satan’s Little Helper.”

    Now all my friends in the department are in an uproar about it because they knew what was going on and how unjust it was (they kept giving me advice on how to deal so that I wouldn’t get fired), their schedules are being rearranged because I’m gone and now they’re in fear of our manager.

    I told one somewhat close co-worker merely hours before I was fired, that if she didn’t see me anymore the reason why: that it was a combination of a set up and a revenge plot.
    Once I figured it out, I had been looking for a new job to get away from the drama, but not super serious about it because I actually liked my job, the friends I made and wanted to keep it. I was trying to keep a postive attitude about the whole thing, hoping that my managers would just grow up and drop the pettiness. Some people are just pure evil though. I’m going to just leave it in the hands of Karma.

    Originally, I wanted an SD for the mentorship, assistance with some bills and company but now I’m feeling like I actually need one to help sustain myself! I don’t really enjoy this feeling. I’m glad for the posts about translating profile code-words, it’s really been enlightening and fun to read. Provided me with much needed side-splitting laughs as I prepare to continue my search for a new job. Wish me luck!

  324. SDinLA says:

    @Spawn I’ve got the plane tickets booked (Economy class but if you admit you’ve got a blog crush on me I might upgrade them) and a room reserved at an off-beach resort in Punta Cana (100% girl-friendly, I checked it out), I just don’t know how to ask you to go…

    Goddamnit, I have no self-control with this blog, I may have to go cold turkey again.

  325. Michael Alleycat says:

    420 friendly = I’ll be so off my face there’ll be no sex tonight, or any night….

  326. DallasBaby says:

    This is not match.com = Looking for a fast chic who puts out right away!
    Lets meet for coffee or drinks = I want to spend little time and money to find out if you will sleep with me free.

  327. RC msb says:

    “Couldn’t find my true love on Match, thought I’d give this site a whirl.” = Dumber than a can of Tinker Toys.

  328. Spawn of Santa says:

    High Spawn and Realist, are ya’ll dating now?
    No silly, I am waiting until SDinLA finally admits he is in love with me (or at least my persona).
    Also I am not high.

  329. DallasBaby says:

    420 friedly = you will be on you knees til 4:20 am working my viagra lincoln log !

  330. stephan says:

    Midwest: Wonderful idea it’ll be a page by the mornin! :)

  331. SDinLA says:

    Hmm, my last one got cut off. Should read:

    I just recently ended a fantabulous arrangement when my SD moved abroad = My SD dumped me because I am batshit crazy and if I say he moved abroad you can’t check up on my story

    (I would have no trouble poking fun at what SDs put in their profiles as well, but I don’t have a very good feel for what kinds of BS the SBs have to read since I don’t peruse SD profiles. OK, enough bloviating on the blog for tonight, have a good night all.)

  332. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!
    Wow, what a fun night here… Very funny, thanks for the laughs.. I needed that tonight!

    Midwest~ Wow, 101F? that’s insane, it’s 75 here… I need a beach vacation too (I am working way too much lately…) Any SDs for me also? 😉
    By the way, how is the cleanse going?

    Carebear~ nice to see you back, how was the trips?

    I feel left out, does everyone have everyone’s email? Anyone want mine lol…

  333. RC msb says:

    @SDinLA – Please stop, your killing me! 😀

  334. Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB says:

    These have me rolling w/tears in my eyes!!!!!

    Stephan – this could be a page for fun reading for when we feel like venting!

  335. SDinLA says:

    passionate = I have a temper
    drama free = you get lots of drama, for free
    classy = but keep in mind I also think the people on Jersey Shore are classy
    Looking for Mr. Right/true love/marriage = Lacks in reading comprehension
    I have high standards/am picky = you’d better have a really big wallet if you’re not hot
    sophisticated = I prefer TMZ to Perez Hilton for my celebrity gossip
    I just recently ended a fantabulous arrangement when my SD moved abroad = My SD dumped me because I am batshit crazy

  336. RC msb says:

    @DallasBaby – The ‘D&D Free’ almost made me fall out of my chair! 😀

  337. Honey says:

    I’m not clever enough to think of more so I stole some from the web…
    Angry, simple-minded, balding, partially blind ex-circus flipper boy with a passion for covering lovers in sour cream and fish giblet gravy seeks exotic, heavily tattooed piercing fanatic, preferably hairy and stinky, either sex, for whippings, bizarre sex and fashion consulting. No freaks.

    Don’t Piss Me Off and Read this Ad!
    Three toed mango peeler searching for wicked crossdressing infielder. Like screaming and marking territory with urine? Let’s make banana enchiladas together in my bathtub. You bring the salsa.

  338. DallasBaby says:

    no drama = you better not have any problems as I have enough of my own already and i’m all that matters anyway.

  339. DallasBaby says:

    D&D Free = Do you seriously think I would tell you I do drugs and have HIV ?

  340. Muse says:

    Haha. I’m loving these decoders. Please keep them up!

  341. LL says:

    Love the activity tonight thx RC for the fun topic! If I weren’t so sick I might’ve been able to get my brain working to add a few of my own..but I’m just content to read and giggle at what everyone else comes up with tonight 😀

    SDinLA Re blog god email error: Good thing you’re not looking anymore or you would gotten mama bear awful angry had she started getting emails inquiring about baby bear…Glad to see the hidden shovel can remain hiding 😉

  342. RC msb says:

    @Honey,SDinLA, Midwest Mistress of the Dark, DallasBaby

    Tanks, Great stuff all. Some of them cracked me up pretty good. Sadly other reminded me of some old friends of mine 😉

    I’m delighted to add all of them to my list. 😀

  343. DallasBaby says:

    I am fixed = No condom sex.

  344. DallasBaby says:

    First time sugar baby = I been giving it away every night for free at local bars.

  345. DallasBaby says:

    First time sugar daddy = No one has ever gotten a red cent of me YET !

  346. Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB says:

    I’m feelin’ the love tonight! Thanks NM, NYC SB, Honey et al! I was naming our Dommes, but all of you know we’re a team!

    Some more descriptors:

    Separated = Married, but trying to clear my conscience
    Bad Boy = man who calls you names when you ask for an allowance
    Mature = over 60
    Former Rocker = still living in mom’s basement playing drums with high school buddies

  347. SDinLA says:

    Oh and…

    Height under 5’9″ + “model” = you can find naughty photos of me if you pay to join certain websites
    Skeezy pornstar profile photos + “student” = If I put down “pornstar” only the perverts and Dirty Old Men will message me
    “In need of immediate assistance” = “I owe my drug dealer a lot of money” -or- “I am a compulsive shopper/gambler/whatever and am in way over my head in debt”
    “Package deal”/”Two for one”/”My hot friend and I” = When we get you in a hotel room, out Russian gangster associates will burst in and help us blackmail/rob you
    “Bi/Looking for a SD or SM” = I’m a lesbian but the car needs to be repaired and I have bills to pay so I can put up with a penis if you give me money

    OK, I’d better quit before I offend everyone who reads this… 😉

  348. Honey says:

    Princess=entitled, agree
    I deserve= I can easily find another guy who will take me out to eat…
    now to find the equivalent for guys..

  349. SDinLA says:

    Princess = entitled
    “I deserve” = entitled
    “spoil me” = entitled
    “I’m not a gold digger” = “I’m a gold digger”
    “I’m not materialistic” = “”I’m materialistic”
    “I have expensive tastes” = “I have a $3k per night drug habit”
    “A friend told me about this site” = “Saw it on Craiglist when I was looking for a hookup” (In the old says when SA advertised on CL) -or- “It came up on the first page when I googled ‘Sugar Daddy'”
    “I’ve never done this before” = “My pimp usually handles all my bookings”
    “I take pride in my appearance and work out regularly” = “I am narcissistic and shallow”
    “NSA” = “I am fine with Pay to Play”
    Listed age 18-25 = 18-25
    27-29 = 32-35
    early 30s = late 30s

    (Tongue firmly planted in cheek since I’ve never used the site to actually find a SB.) 😉

  350. Midwest ~ I absolutely have your back! xoxo 😉

  351. Honey says:

    Love it….let me try..
    rubenesque= fat
    nsa= I just want to fuck you and never talk to you again
    let me do some more research and get back to it with more maybe…

    • RC msb says:


      I forgot to add it but I was actually going to use ‘Test drive’ for “I just want to fuck you and never talk to you again” :)

  352. DallasBaby says:

    My slut friends say what I do is sex biz…no matter what kind of pretty bow I put on it. They say if I drop down and get my eagle on for pay …then it is what it is.

  353. RC msb says:

    I’ve often been fascinated by the various code words people use on the web. Mostly for my own amusement, I am compiling a list of words and phrases that you often see on sugar sites and what they usually mean. Clearly the meanings aren’t foolproof and context is everything, but they are often a pretty good indicator.

    If anyone has any they would like to contribute, I would love to hear what they are.

    Please forgive the formatting, I have no idea how this will look once posted:


    Light Smoker……..I smoke cigarettes with the word ‘Light’ on the package.

    Social drinker……..Either ‘I only drink when others are drinking’
    or ‘I need a few rounds in me just to be social’


    Discreet…………….’I have a spouse’ or ‘I’ll hide from your spouse’


    Sponsor…………….I will probably Not have sex with you

    Sexy………………..I will probably have sex with you.

    Passionate………..I will definitely have sex with you.

    Open minded……..I will engage in sex that is illegal in Alabama.

    Kinky……………….Handcuffs may be involved.

    Erotic………………..I will bang you till your bleeding out your eyes.

    NSA………………….I am on the right site.

    LTR…………………..I might be on the wrong site

    Soul mate………….I am definitely on the wrong site.

    Any more?

  354. Honey says:

    AAh pseudo-science, where would I be without it?The Influence of the Blue Ray of the Sunlight and of the Blue Colour of the Sky…I’ve always liked that title.. chartreuse is more trendy now, that and coral/melon…..
    “And I awoke to find me here, on the cold hill’s side” The title is almost as long as the story,but isn’t it just swell? James Tiptree jr. short story..
    .raining in “sunny” san jose sorry, I’m just a bit bored.
    How is everbody? Dallas, Hi,of course there are victims in the sex trade, but the escort busted with the next politician is not one of them.. I have had several friends in the sex trade, most got out and I have one or two who are doing great but still don’t value themselves enough for me. The strippers who have a nice car and an empty apartment. The one who could buy $600 dresses but was overdrawn every month at the bank. Drugs , alcohol and questionable friends, they are only victims of their vices, not railroaded into a life of rape and forced sex. Don’t get me started…no heat but I just got opinions…
    Mel, s’up?
    High Spawn and Realist, are ya’ll dating now?

  355. NYC SB says:

    Mistress I too have your back… And I’m krav maga trained :)

  356. DallasBaby says:

    melissa- what chu talkin bout willis?

  357. melissa says:


  358. Spawn of Santa says:

    Mr. Realist, why did you chose that name? Were you subconsciously trying to pre-defend your statements because deep inside you don’t actually believe your perception of reality?
    IMO, a realist is someone who observes reality without preconceived notions. You, on the other hand, have constructed an idea of reality and persist in your attempts to interpret events in a manner that supports your construct, instead of taking them at face value.
    For example, you interpret Ukranian Jew’s quip as a support for your preamble that Ukranian women are better than American, in all cases and circumstances, and that it is therefore reasonable for American men to go to Ukraine to look for a good woman.
    Meanwhile you overlook the fact that he is not only an American, but also Ukranian.
    His cultural frame of reference ha been established in that country, and the reason he went back is because for a long term companion he would like someone that understands him through shared experiences and culture.

    Color blue ranges from aqua and periwinkle to sapphire and navy.
    What shade are you talking about?

  359. DallasBaby says:

    Honey- Of course you have victims in the sex trade . Some people even sell babies for money in those foreign countries. I watched a show about it. You can buy a 6 year old to have sex with.

  360. Honey says:

    Midwest, I will always have your back, I think we agree way more than we will ever disagree!!.I just had been thinking about sex work and workers. Some choose their careers. A 1000 dollar a night escort is a far cry from a $20 crack ho but one is NOT a victim…

  361. Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB says:

    Realist – If we refrain from discussing pros and politics, I will agree to put the whips and chains away. Truthfully, I don’t know the lifestyle…just a fun blog persona who stands up for her convictions. I would venture to believe Naughty Molly and LASB have my back just in case… :-)

    Honey – What a wonderful birthday treat! He sounds like a great guy! I’m sure he will receive your appreciation in multitudes.

    Shoooooweee…it’s 101 degrees at this very moment. Love the weather here…tornadoes and six weeks of rain to three-digit temps overnight. I want an ocean to accompany the heat please! SDs…can someone make this happen :-)

  362. Honey says:

    Honey has”magically” convinced her sweetie to extend our stay a few more days in Costa!!! We were due to fly out tomorrow,but I called in a birthday favor..I’ll be 40 in a couple of days!!!yea!!! Oops,shush… daddy is sleeping…he is VERY tired….
    I think I going to try to fly out to the papagayo gulf for a few decadent days, it’s my birthday!!!

  363. Lily says:

    SDinLA, I’m waiting for your reply to my email! :) a week or two now, actually…..!

  364. Honey says:

    Oops and I Meant to sign off as, Honey- daughter of night

  365. Honey says:

    Aw ….welcome back spawn and carebear…..How was paris?
    realist,you don’t have to spoil me, my current daddy has that covered,but I can meet you for drinks and hang out with whomever you chose to accompany you or not.. I live in the Montrose area,, so you MAY want to check carefully the sugar over here, they may come with extra attachments!! But I’ll buy you lunch and treat you as a friend… btw..
    I too got into the sugarlife because I did need a deeper connection,sex with strangers doesn’t do it for me, but my bootie buddies falling in love with me was no fun after a while either..So I said, Mabel,(sometimes I call myself Mabel) Mabel, I say, “you need to find a more humane way to have sex on a semi regular basis without the bitterness that always ends up happening” So I went on ANOTHER, different site, where married people meet other married people and laid out my demands and wants.
    Blue to a blind man…maybe the smell of the ocean…when the sun is shining and the air is sweeping out from across the ocean, the smell under the salt smell…
    I could show and explain violet or lavender easier to a blind man actually,I got this gum…

  366. Mr Realist says:


    12 per day? Many of the girls you meet on SA whom you are exchanging introductions with expose this tidbit to u on a first date?
    Sounds very far fetched. Why would she use SA and not an escort agency?

    No, she was on the level and I’m certain her story was true. She worked with a couple people, can’t remember if she was the solo performer. They’d post ads in areas she’d be visiting, have them all scheduled-in and knock them off like clockwork. As soon as she covered her debt she quit. This was long before she’d posted on SA. She was a very nice girl.

    In regard to when they tell me, some times it seems to happen just after I sign the charge receipt for our dinner at a nice restaurant:) While in Las Vegas for a trade show last year I used the opportunity to meet a few of the girls I’d met through the site. Just after signing the dinner tab at Bellagio I get hit with the “I want to go back to your hotel and spoil you for $500”, a line I heard from about four other SA girls in during my stay in Vegas. On that same trip I stopped in Houston to visit a buddy and called another SA girl. She wanted $800 to visit my hotel:( In January I had a semi-local girl anounce she worked as an escort during dinner.


    I would love to take you up on that and I promise that after you pay the check I won’t ask for $500 to spoil you:) However, on my way to TX I’m going to swing through the Midwest to make amends with the Mistress in the Dark. I’m not sure if she’s a Mistress in the D/s sense so in that case it’s possible I won’t be able to sit by the time I get to TX:)

    SD Guru

    Unless there are some new perspectives on this topic, I think continued discussion won’t be all that productive and we’ll just be beating a dead horse.

    There really wasn’t a discussion on the topic, it was derailed by a few hysterical rants about some tiny segment of the premise.

    @un-named posters

    Here’s a word of wisdom for that was related to me by a guy I met while working-out at a gym in Kiev, Ukraine…….a place where I spent over 8 TIMES more visiting than Thailand, a fact which is clearly shown in my resume but seems to have escaped attention:

    He was a very smart Ukrainian Jewish man who’d been living in NY and had come back to visit. We were discussing how beautiful, intelligent, nice and family-oriented Ukrainian girls are and I mentioned hthe difficulty in relating to others back in the US. I remember his response to this day:
    “How do you explain the color blue to a blind man?”

  367. Enigma SD says:

    hello all – one of the reasons I sugar date is because I did the same math as Midwest. Also, as I matured, I found I needed an emotional connection to have great sex. When I was young, it was all about the physicality… I don’t think I would have much of an emotional connection with a woman I spent a few random hours with. Sugar was the best option for me, but we all recognize there are other options.

    Have a great short week, for those in the U.S.

  368. Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB says:

    Dallasbaby – It’s slow and steady, but I’m already seeing and feeling the difference. Only on day 8, o we’ll see what happens as I stick with it longer. I haven’t been as disciplined about the tea as I should. I’m sure that has a lot do with it.

    Spawn – I wish I could say things as succinctly.

    SATC reruns are on and Mikhail Baryshnikov is still as sexy as ever! Yummy!

  369. carebear says:

    long time no post. that is assuming this goes through and doesn’t get moderted like usual.

    coming down off of my high from paris, sd and i are 6 months strong and doing incredible!

    usual bunch of coconuts are around with their usual stories i see. cant wait to spend the summer with some of my favorite sugars, collegesb, nyc, muse, and hopefully spawn!! that is, if we don’t all get raptured on july 14th….

    happy travels =)

  370. Spawn of Santa says:

    ^just goes to show you that even a drug-addicted HIV-infected street walker can go to school and make a better life for herself and her baby. Good for her!

  371. DallasBaby says:

    I went to school with a chic who I saw on the “cops show” who was street walking and had the HIV ! They asked her why she was still working since she has HIV. She said she just lives near the ho stroll and was just running to get something to eat. She was a known street walker and was doing some kind of drugs thats for sure. I am guessing she was doing un protected sex with either pimps or johns to feed her habit. I bet someone could get her for 20.00 and leave with something extra….if you know what I mean ! Hey, it is cheap ! *** She even ended up having a baby with HIV. ***

  372. Spawn of Santa says:

    Correction: IIT, not ITT

  373. Spawn of Santa says:

    Mr. Realist, now I am really curious – did you go to ITT?
    An unattached western male does not need to exercise his options abroad – there are plenty of drug-addicted hookers in the US that will do everything a hooker in Thailand will do for the same price. And they will be pretty f-able; heroin, crack, meth tend to keep people on the skinny side. A guy can even find an attractive enough lady willing to support HIM. Men don’t offer allowance because they can’t get “it” for free; allowance-based relationships tend to have a certain dynamic that they like.

    A married man will often NOT be able to offer the highest allowance, because he got to be able to hide withdrawals and receipts from the wife.

    Your problem is that you take a premise that is sometimes true and sometimes isn’t, treat it as always true, and then try to make complex derivations from it. Crap in, crap out.

  374. Spawn of Santa says:

    (Or maybe this is my own special Purgatory, always having to agree with my nemesis?)
    *They* said that the good ones get raptured, and the wicked ones stay and suffer XD

  375. DallasBaby says:

    Midwest- hows the dr natura?

  376. Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB says:

    Awwwww….sorry to let you guys down, but sometimes you gotta take the high road (eventually). Pass the popcorn please!

    It’s too hot to sleep. Usually, I love it when it’s hot…when the fans spin that tropical breeze & summer sheets cool your body. It reminds me of home. I’m not a big fan of AC, but I may have to submit.

    Goodnight sugars! Someone have a strong pot of coffee on in the morning please!

  377. Honey says:

    Me too guru and sdinLA, I lik to watch!!!!Realist you are welcome to drop on by if you ever get in the Texas vicinity…I can pay for your drinks and you won’t even have to put out…! Honey over and out

  378. SDinLA says:

    Guru, you pulled out your beating a dead horse animated GIF right before I got to my eating popcorn and watching one.

  379. Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB says:

    Guru – First – Thank you. Second -You’re right. I’m done and will let the last word be. Promise.

  380. Honey says:

    Hhmmn, realist…I understand where you are coming for , a little, I think, but Cotsa Rica is a place for a male to MAYBE find a good tica irl, but alot of them are just in it for the money. Sometimes to marry gringos who can take them to places.or something

  381. Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB says:

    Mr. Realist – Actually your first post referred to unattached vs attached and then how much “trouble” a guy can get into for $3K in Bangkok. Perhaps generally speaking of “all types abroad” but focused on the limitations for men in the west and how much cheaper women (ooops, paid companionship) is n other countries.

    After responding to a few posts, you decided to elaborate more on the attached vs. unattached and then related sugar to shopping for golf clubs and wanting to “get the best deal”.

    Then you went on to put prostitutes and sugar in the same broader category of paid companionship so you could cut to the economics of the matter.

    My obsession is with how you combine prostitution with sugar and call it paid companionship. As Spawn said…throw in the wives and girlfriends for that matter and call them all paid companions. Or do you want to split hairs over who “wants” to spend time with you and not just your wallet? Most men wouldn’t stand for it and neither do I.

    You tried to clarify it is not a discussion about the merits, differences, etc of the paid companions, but then continue to say how you can get the best deal overseas and that it’s all about economics. Maybe for you it is all about the economics. I believe you are the minority. THAT is where my obsession with prostitution lies and you have implied it is your preference.

    I’m convinced I understood perfectly. You just want to skip the details and stay with the generalizations.

  382. SDinLA says:

    Hey Lils, how’s tricks?!

    Deine Schritte kennt sie,
    Deinen schonen Gang.
    Alle Abend brennt sie,
    Doch mich vergas sie lang.
    Und sollte mir ein Leid gescheh’n,
    Wer wird bei der Laterne steh’n,
    Mit dir, Lili Marleen,
    Mit dir, Lili Marleen!

  383. Honey says:

    Mommy, daddy,please don’t fight…I thought the comments were going well…I liked the graph on what the base going rate around the world is,really.But I am a numbers kind of gal and this is not a zero sum game,right? We re sharing our VARIED experiences and I wanna keep hearing them all!! Like little gossip drops….meow!!!lol! goodnight.Realist (do you mind if I call you by your first name?), and Goodnight Midwest Liked the interplay,you two should date…ok, I’ll quit it…
    I’m off to bed, told my sweetie Sd that I would wake him up VERY nicely when I got into bed.I also fixed him a beer and a quick snack,listened to him read parts out of this book he was reading(Actually pulled off being interested!) I wear pink more often because he likes me in it…and laugh at his corny jokes,but not too much..(There is a limit).I think he’s getting a great deal!! How much would you be paying a hourly sex worker for all that? I here the girls in Amsterdamn have cool pussies and they let you know that it is their JOB. and that some girls(cannot speak for all) in some latin american countries are more “friendly” with their service with a smile,even if they too, don’t really mean it. Asian countries, I have heard are the “Best” whatever the “best” is..ease of use,low trick turn over rate? Simplicity of the system? Any more thoughts with have to be read in the morn for me, again, goodnight all
    Honey, made in america, all natural, sweetener of at least One mans life,right now.
    peace out…piece out..lol

  384. Mr Realist says:


    I’m jealous, wish I was in CR now (and by this time a couple people on the list probably wish I was too..lol) If you’re down there you can imagine how much demand there is for a nice, financially secure American guy who owned/rented a condo or villa. How many beautiful, nice girls do you think would be lined-up at his door to be an SB or even his wife? There are not only local gorgeous girls but also Colombian Nicaraguan, and from all over the world who come to Costa Rica who’d love to find a a great guy who could provide care, support and affection.

  385. BillyRayValentineinLA says:

    “Wish my bitches hurry up and get here I ain’t got no time to be sitting inside this cell witchoo.”
    “Where is your bitches Mr. Big Time Pimp?”
    “Didn’t I tell you, that the phone is my limousine is busted and I can’t get in contact with my bitches?”
    “Yeah, the phone in the limo is busted, what is yah, ignorant?!”

    (Dialogue from Trading Places copied under Fair Use)

  386. Lily says:

    12 per day? Many of the girls you meet on SA whom you are exchanging introductions with expose this tidbit to u on a first date?
    Sounds very far fetched. Why would she use SA and not an escort agency?

  387. Honey says:

    Hey, I’ve been biting my puns, Midwest!!! No heat, Mr. Realist…but…Sugar Twin, Sweet and Low, Equal: all claiming to be just as good as Real Sugar(am I right,ladies and gents?)—inferior products to true sugar..but they too have their uses Again, not calling them bad people,but they are offering something different than what I like to think I offer,but I could just be deluding myself…but I hate diet coke or diet anything, actually,Some people just gobble the stuff up….but I’d rather dine on steak for two days than hamburger for four, but sometimes you do just want a hamburger…ya know..?

    • SD Guru says:

      @Mr Realist

      We both know each other’s position pretty well so there is no need to rehash all that. I’d just like to point out a couple of things…

      1. Please don’t underestimate the life experiences of your fellow bloggers.

      2. Even though you’ve talked about available options for all types of relationship abroad, the examples you gave seen to only include “money for sex” type and that’s why you’re getting the kind of responses you’re getting.

      Unless there are some new perspectives on this topic, I think continued discussion won’t be all that productive and we’ll just be beating a dead horse.

  388. Mr Realist says:

    @Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB

    Did I understand you correctly?

    Obviously not. For the 43rd time the premise of the discussion was about available options of ALL TYPES abroad. Yet you have this obsession with prostitution. You’re constantly ranting about it and human trafficking, even in different discussions from what I’ve seen. You’d made all those imaginative calculations about girls having slept with five guys a day. Yeah, that’s pretty scary, almost as much as what one of the many girls who turned-out to be hookers and hookers-in-denial I’ve met from this site confided to me. She was so far in debt that she went on a national tour for months on end where 12 men plus a day would come to her hotel room paying $300 a pop. (Gosh, she’s lucky all hotels in the US are “girl-friendly”…lol!) I never slept with her but that’s not to say some SD on the site didn’t who then slept with you.

  389. Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB says:

    Honey – Your point is well-taken. I don’t have moral convictions about prostitution either. I do have an issue with those who want to frequent prostitutes and consider it sugar. You say there are all types…that’s your opinion. I am of the opinion that there is a vast difference between the two. If it’s unrealistic, then so be it. (no pun intended, but funny).

  390. Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB says:

    DallasBaby – Only if you let them.

    NSA serves its purpose for both men and women, but it doesn’t mean “no souls allowed”. Yes, many people abuse the term and ONLY have NSA relationships. They forget what it’s like to put yourself out there and take one more chance on love. That is the sad part as it leads to people using others.

    You have to want the NSA as well if you’re going to be here. Otherwise, there’s disappointment because that is the foundation of sugar. The good news is that you get to choose what level of NSA…from romantic to hedonistic. You’re a strong, beautiful woman having success at WYP when many others are not. I know you will not let these dates treat you like their piece. Don’t let it get you down…just be more selective.

  391. Honey says:

    I don’t think all sex work is full of victims. Mr. Realist seems to me to be a disillusioned romantic,at least he probably came by it honestly.I’m in costa rica, a catholic country where gambling and prostitution is legal. But being a pimp or madam is not. So while, I myself have my own issues with dating men who frequent escorts, it’s not “morals” based Any more than I feel that I am helping the terrorist when I buy hydro(phonic equipment). I think some guys pay for the girl to be a little disposable, please note that I am not advocating rape, forced prostitution,child sex slaves or the like. I mean that some guys want the sex without the total intimacy. Doesn’t necessarily mean that he(one) doesn’t like, respect,trust, whatever, women but just wants t have agood time without the expectations. I can’t speak for Mr. Realist, but that is SOME of what I believe could lead some guys to prefer that type of sugar. Sugar comes in all forms, corn syrup, turbinado,refined and of course, my fave and the best for you… Honey. Please also note that Honey is not safe for babies under 1 year, like the sugarlife, it’s only for adults.
    Wish I could be more witty and succinct, maybe I’ll try a haiku next time….

  392. DallasBaby says:

    Midwest – most guys on this planet sadly see us as objects to be used. I am starting to think a NSA is never a good thing. It feeds into the whole idea of just being used for pleasure and able to walk away when one feels like it. Sad when you think about it.

  393. Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB says:

    Mr. Realist – It looks like you found your niche…the unattached male that travels abroad and solicits a plethora of paid companions for a few days at a time in each country while spending less than your Western unattached counterparts. Of course, your attached Western counterparts don’t stand a chance at your success due to their travel limitations. You have it so much better than our gents. You’re really onto something. You should be proud. Seriously. After all, what kind of life would those women have had without meeting you? Perhaps the human trafficking rings would have one less customer…meh, not your problem. Perhaps you can meet SBs or wives for less as well…there’s time for that when most of your trips are for 18 days or less. We all want something different…I’m sure many of us do. Did I understand you correctly?

    Are women only put on this earth for your 10 minutes of pleasure at the lowest possible rate? Have you ever seen a new perspective over a bottle of wine; been there to see someone pursue a real dream; taken intimacy to such a level of passion that cannot be expressed in mere words or accomplished with a total stranger? Don’t you enjoy giggling at that inside joke with someone you’ve known for more than a few days? What happened to your compassion? Your passion? Your zest for life and not just for the sheer act of sex? Isn’t it acceptable to invest a little of yourself for a much greater return? I’m not trying to be mean and condescending, but I feel sorry for anyone who has lost these things.

    “O Me! O life! of the questions of these recurring,
    Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
    Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
    Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
    Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
    Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
    The question, O me! so sad, recurring-What good amid these, O me, O life?

    That you are here-that life exists and identity,
    That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.”

    Walt Whitman

    What is your verse?

  394. Lily says:

    Hey, hurt & angry, I just thought of something I would like to say to you. I posted my email just above; drop me a line.

  395. LASB says:

    Yes Goddess. You have mail, Goddess.

  396. Honey says:

    OMG ..it’s kinda funny to see all the personalities lighting up the blog!!! hello all! I’m starting to wind my trip down and return to the states and ya’ll are just winding things up? Am I more mellow in my posts now that I’ve been on vacation for three weeks or are ya’ll just more het up than usual? Just kidding and thank you blog gods for sharing e-mails. Dallas here I come(in a few weeks!)

  397. Hurt & Angry says:

    Thank you to everyone for your support and advise.

  398. Lily says:

    SugarbabySA @ live — email me, LASB!

  399. Lily says:

    LASB when are you in Europe???

  400. Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB says:

    Anna Molly – I say go for it! Turn that poker face into a seductive face! Your mad poker skills combined with your femme fatale persona…the guys will be completely distracted! I’ve played Texas Hold ’em at local tourneys and held my own, but the big leagues scare me! I’m not a gambler at heart though.

  401. Mr Realist says:

    @Michael Alleycat- Not sure exactly what your point is? Remember the premise of the discussion is that there are better opportunites for ALL TYPES of male/female relationships in the Non-Western countries. Some people including yourself apparently are trying to make one small slice of an enormous realm of possiblities the focal point of attention. If you’ve spent time in Brazil or Asia you’re well-aware that there are a lot of nice, beautiful women in both places who could make great SB’s or wives.

  402. NYC SB says:

    SdinLa – hahaha no no… An army of sbs trading on their own merits is way better! I am grateful for the opportunities I have been given by my sugar relationships but at the end of the day those end and you are on your own to continue prospering … Or do nothing … The second choice being easier.

    Lasb – :) someone shamed me for not posting so here I am lol

    Midwest – I’m not used to the sap I have turned into… But I like it

  403. LASB says:

    Midwest – freakin’ ewwwww. Sorry, but that makes Lisa’s dream tame in comparison.

    • Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB says:

      Sorry sweets…it’s a gross reality. Now just imagine if a man sleeps with 5 pros a year….disgusting. Most men will never admit they were with a pro, so it’s a HUGE incentive to use protection and be very, very selective about who you’re intimate with. I would pass on those who freely admit using pros. Sorry guys…I’m not judging, but I am turned off by it.

  404. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Mr Realist – really? Time spent in other countries gives you more experience and knowledge? And you want to start comparing passport stamps?

    Thwack! That sound you hear is the gauntlet being thrown down! Or maybe the sound of multiple passports being thrown down…. btw I lived in Asia for 3 years, London for 4 years blah blah blah. Does that give me more experience in girl-friendly hotels? Uhhh no thanks.

    Though the girls in Brasil were very friendly! And I thought it was because I was really handsome. The funny thing was I told them ‘not interested’, retired to the bar with 3 of them and had a really great night.

  405. LASB says:

    SdinLA – I can’t believe you outed me. Charlie’s gonna be pissed!!!

  406. Mr Realist says:

    Whooooaaaaa, STOP! Calm down ladies. Re-read this paragraph before twisting what was written:

    It is NOT a discussion about the merits, similarities or differences among types of paid or un-paid companionship. Those are great topics but irrelevant to this point. Also, some posters erroneously assumed that International travel is exclusively about sexual adventures. While a single male traveler can certainly indulge all his fantasies, sex is not the only form of companionship that can be better pursued abroad.

    You can also find a SB or a wife in any of those countries, in fact, they are great places to find a wonderful girl. Also, “girl friendly” doesn’t necessarily apply solely to working girls, it could be an SB or a girlfriend. How many of you making that assertion have never had a rendezvous with your SD in a hotel? Furthermore, the comments have focused an Asia which represents a fraction of the time abroad. How many of you that posted have actually been there?

  407. SDinLA says:

    @Mr Realist I believe “Spawn of Santa” possesses two X chromosomes, so I think I can safely say that she has ZERO experience as a male traveler in non-Western countries. 😉

    Re: girl-friendly hotel policies, my anecdotal experience (from my colleagues since I never participated in such activities myself) in high-end hotel properties in Asia, Eastern Europe etc. is that regardless of their stated policy, certain employees at said establishments are often actually the go-to guy/pimp/mama-san to provide local companionship, i.e. “no non-registered female guests allowed (unless she was sourced through our guy)”

    @LASB “low rent” and AEG don’t usually compute, but who knows, people were pretty desperate a few years ago. In ’09 a friend of mine was offered what amounted to 3 years free rent and substantial TIs to try and get him to sign a lease on a restaurant space in Century City. The franchisee on the Trader Vic’s is some guy named Valencia, don’t think he’s even opened any restaurants before. I’m not a big fan of Puck’s either… have not been to his place in the Ritz building yet.

    Re: the only advantage to the Ritz being proximity to Staples, I actually like hotel-condos at this stage of my life. Post-divorce I haven’t really found it desirable to have a chef or full-time domestic staff on payroll/infringing on my space, so being able to order room service from the hotel side when I am too lazy to go out is appealing since I usually fail at even boiling water.

    HIgh profile guy, doesn’t want to get married again… OMG your new SD is Charlie Sheen?! Do you get to go on stage with him on tour?

    @NYC SB 42 days is impressive, as is only 4 down days in more than 6 months. Maybe we should start a fund where SBs act as femme fatales and get info from their SDs for us to trade/act upon. Then again we don’t want to end up like Raj Rajaratnam.

    @Naughty Molly Would a week in your dungeon really be classified as a vacation? I’m sure it would hurt so good, but I’m not sure it would be very relaxing or restorative.

    @Michael “Never trust anyone to check your gear” is a good rule for just about any activity where harm might come to you from participating. That’s why I always packed my own chute when skydiving. The bends are no fun. I’ve spent most of my life on, in and near the ocean so I thought I would love scuba. Turned out to be way too sedate for my adrenaline seeking ways.

  408. Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB says:

    How many men will a regular, third-world prostitute entertain in a year? Let’s just be conservative:
    Say she sees 5 men per day 5 days a week = 25 men per week
    50 weeks per year = 1250 men per year
    Some will be regulars, so we’ll round down to 1000 men per year
    Say she works five years before she’s no longer marketable = 5000 men

    I can see why many SDs would shy away from prostitutes.

  409. RC msb says:

    I see the blog is still a buzzing.

    @Lisa – Sorry you had such a bad time, hope you get to feeling better.

    @Midwest – Hope you had a good time visiting with your friends.

    @LASB – And I’ll readily expose my own lack of attention span. I lost interest in the Asian sex trade topic umpteen posts ago. No offence Mr. Realist – I simply have no need for it in the first place.

    Hope everyone had a great weekend.

  410. Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB says:

    NYC SB – I like your sappy box! Keep sharing!

    Mr. Realist – perhaps you’ve proven your point that you are a well-traveled unattached male who indulges in overseas “girl friendly” hotels – aka brothels. We all want something different and wish you well, however I don’t see the relevance. Does a one-hour visit with a woman who has had several one-hour visits before and after you qualify as companionship….err paid companionship? I suppose she does. Do SDs want that kind of paid companionship…I doubt it. Does she really want to be there or is her pimp making sure she is there. Why are you so adamant about promoting prostitution to the SDs? Are you saving them a few dollars? I’m sure they are well aware of their options, hence why they are SDs. You enjoy your paid companions. You might want to indulge in a regular STD test as well. I do believe STDs are more prevalent in some countries you mentioned and that little sheath of latex isn’t going to block everything 100% of the time. You’re sleeping with every one-hour companion she is keeping company.

    TLG and Michael – Sound words of wisdom…thank you! I’m so jazzed!

  411. LASB says:

    I’ll readily expose my own naivete–I know nothing about the Asian sex trade industry. I’m the most naive of anyone on that one, and have no reason to try to prove otherwise. I also know very little about paid companionship abroad or which hotels let you bring ladies of the night back to your room. Jus’ sayin’!

    NYC SB – Good to see you, babe!! Congrats! You are doing it!!! I totally agree with “The best relationships are those that evolve naturally and are based on enjoying and trusting one another without pursuing one’s own agenda,” which is why I so often break all the sugar “rules.”

  412. NYC SB says:

    SDinLA – first streak lasted 42 days… Since nov 21st I have had 4 down days :) but I thank my mentors (acquired by an ex sd whose trust I had to earn) and the current bf… Its amazing how life flows when you are happy … And committed without marriage pressure sounds great! The best relationships are those that evolve naturally and are based on enjoying and trusting one another without pursuing one’s own agenda

    Ok off my sappy soap box

  413. Mr Realist says:

    In reading some of the posts it appears there are some contributors who haven’t understood the premise of my original post or perhaps have deliberately thrown in red-herrings. In this particular discussion I’d contended that married men are GENERALLY a better prospect for a significant allowance.

    Circumstances are much more favorable outside the the non-western world for a male looking for a SB or any other type of relationship/interaction with a female. That being the case, it’s more LIKELY an unattached western male will be in a position to exercise available options abroad. Again, this is not to say there aren’t some exceptions.

    It is NOT a discussion about the merits, similarities or differences among types of paid or un-paid companionship. Those are great topics but irrelevant to this point. Also, some posters erroneously assumed that International travel is exclusively about sexual adventures. While a single male traveler can certainly indulge all his fantasies, sex is not the only form of companionship that can be better pursued abroad.

    In a previous post I’d put together a rough bare bones cost estimate for maintaining a non-local SB relationship based upon two monthly meetings, two days each which came to 3K a month/36K a year. I’d then listed a couple examples of alternative options with rough cost estimates without detailed explanation. Note: in either of these destinations your relationship options run the gambit.

    Thinking he was smart, one subsequent poster/troll tried to nit-pick the lodging costs but in doing so only exposed his naivete. Any experienced male traveler to the referenced destinations would know that one of the first considerations is to be sure a hotel has a “girl-friendly” policy. In Punta Cana, the beach side resorts don’t permit non-registered female guests. Therefore, you can stay in one of the decent but off-beach hotels which are under $50 In Phuket, I stayed in a very nice poolside villa type hotel for under $40 and many nice ones can be found for under $50 These are one night hotel rates. You could easily negotiate a much better rate for a monthly stay. You could rent a nice condo/villa or even put the money toward a purchase.

    Some posters are making comments and passing judgments on a subject they obviously know nothing about. Therefore, it’s only fair to the readers that those posters disclose their experience as a male traveler in NON-Western countries. I’m happy to put my resume forward and readers have a right to expect subsequent posters to do the same:

    Ukraine: 7 trips / 1.5 years in-country
    Russia: 3 trips / 3 months in-country
    Latvia: 1 trip / 7 days in-country
    Thailand: 1 trip / 5 weeks in-country
    Cambodia: 1 trip / 10 days in-country
    Vietnam: 1 trip / 10 days in-country
    Costa Rica: 1 trip / 7 days in-country
    Dominican Republic: 2 trips / 18 days
    (*Poland, Czech Republic, Mexico have been omitted because I didn’t pursue relationships with the locals)

  414. PuPu Platters are fantastic, but, I prefer Chicken Tikka Masala 😀

  415. Michael Alleycat says:

    – make sure you breathe
    – never trust anybody to check your gear. Do it yourself and watch others v carefully as they check it again. I was on a dive in Malaysia once, getting ready to walk off the back, duve assistant did one final check before we stepped off. He turned my air OFF, he thought he was owning the valve all the way. Fortunately I found out pretty quickly, obviously. Nearly killed him when I got back on the boat.
    – watch out for lazy fishermen using dynamite instead of the traditional gear.
    – be careful!!! When things go pear-shaped, it happens in a hurry and at the most inopportune times. My worst dive ended with me in a chamber for 8 hours. Not impressed.

    But have fun with it – it is a great sport!!!

  416. SDinLA says:

    @LASB Yeah, I think that must be it, somehow if you have to bring it up, it lessens the stature of the SD in your mind because the “ideal” SD is going to be aware that you might be uncomfortable with broaching the topic and therefore be the one to bring it up before you feel the need to do so. Just as a true gentleman will open doors and have manners, a true SD will address the allowance issue before you feel compelled to do so. Yes/no/maybe? If not, I got nothing, nada, bupkis.

    But that won’t always work if the pot has never been an allowance SD before, right?

    Re: bad service in your neighborhood eateries, I went to the Trader Vic’s the other week. What a let down. I was a huge fan of the old TV at the Beverly Hilton, and the old, long ago closed one in San Francisco (that became Le Colonial), nothing beats pupu platters and a drink with an umbrella in it when you want kitsch, but the one down by you was a pale shadow.

    • SDinLA says:

      @LASB I lied about not having anything else, I thought of something:

      Maybe if you are attracted to these guys and, as you say, you would date them IRL sans allowance, bringing up the allowance sullies the attraction somehow? Maybe because you’d date him without the sugar you want him to like you as an IRL GF too and ergo don’t want to discuss terms?

      I have no idea. I’m not a doctor, I don’t play one on TV, and I didn’t even stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

      But really, he does need a nickname. Which famous/wealthy person does this one resemble? That would seem to be the low-hanging fruit given BGBF’s chosen moniker.

  417. The Lone Gunman says:

    @Midwest SB

    Michael / TLG / Genuine – I’m taking scuba as one of my classes for the Fall. Any tips for a newbie?

    Make sure that the mask you get is a good seal to your face. Too many folks buy a mask that doesn’t fit correctly, and it leaks all the time they are in the water.


    • SDinLA says:

      Make sure your dive partners are fat- this will make them more appetizing than you to the sharks. This is akin to the old joke re: not having to be able to outrun the bear but only your fellow hiker. 😉

  418. Midwest ~ I have no major plans this summer. If I had my way I would be playing in the WSOP tournement, but, I don’t know how good my poker face really is! Hmmmm, something to strive for 😀

  419. Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB says:

    Hello Goddesses! Nice to see you all came out to play (not prey) on SDinLA’s weaknesses.

    LASB – I hear you. My second had never been an allowance SD before me and probably isn’t now, but I put it out there and he agreed. We did compromise on the amount, but at least he tried. I certainly wouldn’t want to force it out of anyone, but I haven’t really had to. I can’t tell you why.

    Here’s a little trick sales people use…you say what you want to happen and then hush…completely. Let him/her be the next person to talk. It’s an awkward silence, but you can take the time to use the powder room, put on your lipstick, hum to the radio…whatever. I think it shows confidence in yourself. There’s an odd psychology to it, but it works 90% of the time…seriously.

    SDinLA – You’re such a prince <3

    Summer plans are school and a little play time in-between. Let's just hope we can bypass all the rain and tornadoes!

  420. LASB! Hey Baby Girl! Good to see ya!

  421. SDinLA ~ You need a vacation! I suggest a nice relaxing weekend in my dungeon! You will be over your addiction in no time! 😀

  422. LASB says:

    Hi Naughty! I love when you come out to play! Hi Midwest, TLG, Lisa, Spawn, Michael and others!

  423. Hey Midwest! Hope you’re having a great weekend! xoxoxo

  424. SDinLA says:

    Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound….

    @LASB Maybe that can be a blog Poll: What is an appropriate nickname for LASB’s hunky new pot SD?

    We need more info to be able to provide good suggestions.

    Re: BGBF “begging” to do stuff for you, I always knew you were a Dom at heart. That really is the best skill to acquire/have as a woman, to be able to get men to beg you to “let” them do what you wanted them to do all along. But if you can do that with BGBF now, why can’t you apply that talent to the pots when it comes to allowance discussions? Figure that out and no more being a wimp with sugar!

  425. SDinLA says:

    @Midwest No worries. I absolutely took it playfully. And my comment was most definitely meant as a compliment. My choices regarding age range of the women I choose to get involved with are due entirely to my own immaturity, hang ups and idiocy.Intellectually I really do believe that there is no substitute for life experience and ergo hold worldly women like you in high esteem. I’ll always be a huge fan of yours and maybe some day I’ll be wise enough to pursue (and able to handle) a woman of your depth. 😉

    Damn it, so much more not posting again this week. Bad SDinLA, Bad bad SDinLA. Hmmm, maybe I need 2 spankings now…

  426. Midwest SB says:

    Sometime tone gets lost… SDinLA – I really am amused. My comment sounds a little sarcastic…I should stick to what I know. I suck at sarcasm! My ONE weakness. :-)

  427. Midwest SB says:

    Phew! Love the chatter this weekend!

    Lisa – Glad you’re back! Although, I have to admit the dream comment was more than I’m willing to stomach. Get that vision out of your head (and mine).

    Michael / TLG / Genuine – I’m taking scuba as one of my classes for the Fall. Any tips for a newbie?

    CardsFan – You will be missed! Ya know…people have been known to stick around even though they are not actively seeking sugar…just sayin’ :-)

    SDinLA – Lolololo! I’ll choose to take that as a compliment. My expansive life experience makes me that much better of a sugar baby as I know my body and what makes me happy; I know how to ask what he wants/ needs and I still look fab! I’m sure your companion/ lovely lady who stole you from me is doing her best to make you happy. How’s that little hiatus working out? :-) Thank you sweetie…thank you. Also, very cool of you to reach out to H&A from a man’s perspective.

    Danielle – I agree with the others for mentoring. Perhaps he will agree to a platonic mentoring scenario where he can help you hone your skills, be in the right place at the right time, etc without putting his contacts/ reputation at risk. As you become more comfortable with one another, it could at least turn into a nice friendship. Very few men have time or energy for a platonic friendship, but it does happen. What can you bring to the table? You can make him feel like he’s having a great impact on your life…if he’s any kind of white knight, he will love it. Keep the search up though.

    LL – I know nothing! ***hiding shovel***

  428. SDinLA says:

    @Danielle Damn, Michael beat me too it. What he said.

    Back when I was WannabeSDinLA, the first attempt I made was a disaster along those lines. Right off the bat I funded her business, introduced her into my network, and all it did was cause my associates to question my judgment. They all wrote it off to my getting a divorce and having a mid-life crisis (she was, of course, 19), but still, it took me a while to repair the damage and I learned my lesson. Never again until there’s one heck of a track record of trust and an almost 100% guarantee of a successful outcome from the introduction.

    @Guru I think Michael is afraid of you. All of these blog SBs gush about what a wonderful guy you are after meeting you, so he’s feeling the competition. That’s the only reason I can think of why he keeps putting off collecting on that steak dinner. 😉

    OK, no more posting for the rest of the week, this blog just becomes a total time sink. :-)

  429. The Lone Gunman says:

    @Michael Alleycat:

    @TLG – when do the whale sharks start running? Where is the best spot?

    June through early September off Holbox, I’m told.

    If the blog gods will exchange our email addresses, maybe we can work out heading down there during that season if we can get schedules to coincide.


  430. SDinLA says:

    @Naughty Molly “Oh darn, I gave them away already. I guess I deserve that spanking.”

    @Danielle I agree with LASB and Spawn (I really must be living in some parallel universe), you do not have to give it up to get career advice. I will mentor anyone I like, male or female, without any expectation of sexual favours (especially from the guys.) And Spawn is also correct (Or maybe this is my own special Purgatory, always having to agree with my nemesis?) I’d much rather give someone cash than introduce them into my network. If I give someone money and they don’t do what they promised in return, the money is easily replaced, or I can sue them (not in a sugar context of course.) OTOH my professional reputation and credibility is hard earned, easily lost and even harder to regain if lost even if I didn’t have to do that person a favour to have the credit to call one in. There are a lot of people who can hand you 5k, or even 50k in cash. The really valuable business favours are priceless and not called in lightly. It’s different if you’re part of my “inner circle.” At that point we will call upon each other and gladly help out when we can. But it takes a long time, and a lot of shared experiences to build up the requisite trust to become a trusted member of that circle. Beware of guys who promise “help with careers/business” as an enticement to jump in the sack with them. If you’re already in a relationship with a SD, that’s different, after you’ve built up some trust and you have some history, I think it would be natural for him to want to help your career, but as an alternative to an allowance? You’d be setting yourself up to get played.

    @LASB I loathe the Lakers. Absolutely loathe them. (Maybe Hell for me would be attending a Laker game with Spawn of Santa!) It’s ironic because I know almost all of the team’s principals socially and through business- from Phil & Jeanie to the Dirty Old Man to West to KB to Magic, but I can’t stand the team. My friends are the ones who benefit because inevitably when I am given courtside seats, I give them away. So I am as happy as you are that they lost and I am hopeful that replacing Phil with Mike Brown will be Rudy T, take two.

    Your neighborhood has so much promise. I have always believed that, in fact I was involved peripherally with several of the developments down there. But I don’t think it’s hit critical mass as a place to live yet. Took them long enough to get the Ralph’s in, and the restaurants as you say are uneven at best, I find myself looking for reasons to go down there and not finding enough. At this point it’s still too many rowdy outsiders coming in for an event. The AEG people still bug me about buying a condo at the Ritz, but I remain unconvinced, as much as I would love to because I love walkable, busy urban environments. Who knows, maybe Hooters will push it over the top. 😉

    @Lisa Then I am sorry you had a rough day and at least the bus didn’t crash and cause you to lose a limb!

    @Blog Gods Thanks. But I don’t think I asked for LL’s email? I know she said “her girl” got noticed this week, and I’m the resident DOM who likes teenage SBs, but I’m really not looking anymore. 😉

    Have a wonderful holiday everyone, and as many have stated, take a moment to remember and appreciate all of those who serve and have served, especially those who have given lives and limbs to ensure our freedoms. Now I remember why I stopped posting, it’s too easy to get sucked in…

  431. Michael Alleycat says:

    @LASB – no problem, I am more than capable of finding my own trouble, thank you! I may do a quick trip to Cancun, the whale sharks are there this time of year, so will do some diving with them.

    @SDGuru – looks like we may have to push it out again, the whale sharks are calling….

  432. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Danielle – I am with Spawn on this one.

    Having an arrangement where he mentors you is one thing, that would be a good arrangement, but it would be pushing it to think thta he would introduce you to his key business contacts and relationships.

    My business relationships are the key to my success. They are worth a lot of money to me, and I treat them with a great deal of respect. I am very careful who I introduce to them. If I arrange for them to meet someone who turns out to be a dud or a flake, it reflects really badly on me, and in their eyes, calls my judgement into question.

    Unless the meeting is based on a very clear give-get for both parties, I would be calling in a favour for them to meet with someone. Very reluctant to do that, unless I know FOR SURE that it will work out well for all parties in the long run. Plus, given the fact all SB-SD relationships have a somewhat dubious beginning, the risk is just too high.

  433. Lisa says:

    Thanks Blog Gods

  434. Blog Gods says:

    I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday weekend. E-mails have been exchanged as follows:

    LL to CardsFan & SDinLA
    LASB to CardsFan
    Honey to Overweight
    SDinLA to Hurt & Angry
    Lisa to LL

    If we missed anyone, please let us know! By now, I think everyone has each other’s addresses!

    Please be kind and refer to our Blog Etiquette about personal attacks. Thank you.

  435. Spawn of Santa says:

    Danielle, if a man wants to sleep with you, but is not willing to share money, he most likely won’t share his business connections either. He might give you useful career advice, but you can get that from people without having to sleep with them. The level of trust needed to introduce a new person (you) to people who owe him a favor (and that’s really the only kind that would be useful to you; anyone else you can just meet on linked in) is exponentially higher than the level of trust needed to hand someone a small sum of money and hope they don’t skip town.

    Nevermind that if someone owes him a favor, he had to do something beforehand in order to be able to call in the privilege. While you may not be able to assign the exact number, I’m pretty sure that the cost of being able to call in a favor of a job is many many times higher than 3-5 k/month or whatever is the allowance you are seeking.

    Stop the habit of wishful thinking, and start the habit of thoughtful wishes.

  436. Lisa says:

    LL I still haven’t received your email address. Blog Gods please send my email to LL.

    SDinLA while I enjoy walking and try to as much as possible, my walks involve walking the track at the school behind my apartments and around the complex, early evening after the sun has gone down and with appropriate clothing and water. The Texas heat is dangerous so walking a mile in the sun and heat of the day wearing my black work clothes (heat index close to 100) with no water breathing in car fumes from the busy street beside me was not good for me. My forehead is severely sunburned which is not good either. Now i’m spending the day dizzy and with a headache.

  437. Spawn of Santa says:

    SDinLA, I been done rapshured! XD
    (there’s wifi in the sky)

  438. Honey says:

    Danielle, I think you should try it out and if it does not work out, hopefully you still get some connections and such out of it. One can never have too many friends in the business world.

  439. Danielle says:

    So, question for everybody. What do you think about starting an arrangement only to help in your career? I mean, where there is no actual allowance.

    Does anybody have any experience in that sort of thing? What are your thoughts on it?

  440. Danielle says:

    Yeah, whitelillies. I really didn’t think this guy would have been like that…

  441. whitelillies says:

    Happy Memorial Day everyone!

    @ Tanya – I’m sorry you had to move after finding the perfect arrangement…wishing your family member health.

    @ Danielle – I’m glad you found out now, and don’t have to waste any more of your time on this guy. And good for you, holding out.

  442. LL says:

    Goooood morning sugars 😀

    Wow what a busy weekend on the blog, sounds like all major topics have been covered so no need to put two cents in anywhere 😉

    Midwest/RC – If anyone were to ask about the creeper buried under the soccer field I would have to confess I don’t know anything about it (I dumped my creeper in the pond) 😉

    This week is going to be a busy one, I will once again most likely be missing in on the blog action…my girl has been noticed by Universal for her singing, song writing etc. and we’re in the process of getting it all sorted out…image, photo-shoots, video releases etc. Talk about fun and draining…yesterday we were wardrobe shopping with the stylist until 7 pm and will be doing the same again today!

    Blog gods – Please send my email to CardsFan SD

    Lisa – The positive is that the day you experienced is nothing but a memory…and you can choose to let go and forget that memory! Here’s looking torwards what today brings 😀 Did the blog gods ever send you my email??

    Welcome to the new bloggers :)

  443. Danielle says:

    @ Enigma

    So, I tried to do what you said. He never responded. I think you guys were right, I don’t think he ever had any intention of giving me any sort of allowance. So glad I didn’t sleep with him… He was just completely using me… :(

  444. SDinLA says:

    @Hurt&Angry Rape should always be reported. Some good suggestions for organizations to contact have been given. You’ve already been victimized once by this cretin, you should not feel responsible. Rape is never a woman’s “fault.” The police will not be much help, if anything they WILL just make you feel guilty and responsible. As others have said, it is not about sex, it is about power. Rapists should be summarily castrated. I have had too many women I care about be victims of this, and I actively support several organizations. Depending on what part of the country you are located in, if none of the suggestions others have provided for support are appealing, I may be able to refer you to a discreet, understanding resource. Please feel free to contact me, but I understand if this is something too private to discuss with a stranger and you choose not to.

    @Blog Gods, please give Hurt & Angry my email address.

    @LASB Sounds like this one will be getting the hot guy discount too. If BGBF is cleaning your house for you, what chores are you planning on making this one do after you move on? 😉 I hear all the establishments in your neighborhood have been hurting since the Lakers got dumped out of the playoffs so early, maybe there will be lots of pots since they won’t be distracted by the games being shown.

    @NYC SB Happily attached WITHOUT the pressures of the marriage thing. I can’t ask for more than that. Glad to hear you are doing well, but what happened to your trading updates? How long did the winning streak last? If the streak is still going we may need to talk about getting you into the asset management business. 😉

    @Spawn/Dandelion I’ve bought a slave and been celibate while starting a fund, both are highly over-rated. I find myself agreeing with most of what you said in reply to Mr. Realist, ZOMG maybe the Rapture is upon us. 😉

    @AnnaMolly For the second year in a row, if you or Naughty don’t come and get these Cadbury Eggs, I am going to have to give them away.

    @VillaCypris Yes, you and others who expressed those sentiments.

    @Lisa You got to walk more than a mile, so that’s good exercise! And you sweated off more calories due to the heat. How’s that for a positive? 😉

    @Honey You crack me up. “The revolution will not make you look five pounds thinner, because the revolution will not be televised, Sister”. 😉 (RIP Gil Scott Heron.)

    @Michael Don’t forget “Collecting my steak dinner from Guru” on your list of Summer activities.

    @Everyone Isn’t it nice to have some space and time to yourself after 2 solid weeks of time with your S.O.? And if I missed replying to anyone, humblest apologies.

  445. Spawn of Santa says:

    @Alleycat, I’d rather not go into the details on the blog, but if curiosity gets the best of you, you know my email XD.
    Haha, I just realized that the summer hasn’t started yet, it feels like it’s been in full swing for a month already, and yeah, it’s shaping up to be pretty effing amazing. Psyched. Can’t sleep. Came for some of you know whose same ole boring drama, as it tends to work as well as OTC sleeping aids.

  446. Spawn of Santa says:

    Honey, what do you mean “in no way” you were implying that?
    Explain to me then why did you make the points about the kind of man that cannot meet women, etc etc?
    Aren’t you studying to be a lawyer? I would expect a coherently put together post, with no unnecessary and/or conflicting tangents. That is if you are trying to help someone, as you claim.
    If you are just venting and using the opportunity to talk about yourself a la Lisa – it’s ok, really.
    But don’t say that you’ve had some huge altruistic motive in all of this, as it most likely will only further confuse the girl that is already confused and hurt. I’m just saying – be considerate.

  447. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Spawn – where have you been hiding? Working and studying? Got a good summer coming up?

    @Everybody – what are your plans for summer vacay, now that M Day is here? We will be travelling – my daughter is going to LA plus San Diego, together we are going to NY & DC with one of my nieces from Oz, probably MN to see the out-laws, Rocky Point (MX) for a few days, and I am wriggling out of a trip to Ecuador. Plus I will get to LA for a few days.

    @TLG – when do the whale sharks start running? Where is the best spot?

  448. Honey says:

    Thanks then, Tanya… and since I have an uncontrollable need to never just let things be…
    I DO agree, Spawn, that rape is about power. It is not about sex, but in my post I was speaking from MY experience, actually trying to show what might motivate the lame losers who rape. If rape was just about sex, 85 year old ladies wouldn’t have it happen to them. Ask the guys who rape other guys in prison about the power involved in rape.
    Just wanted to clarify.
    Honey has left the building(going to bed.)
    Nite all.

  449. Troll says:

    Lisa, maybe god hasn’t done anything for you because you do nothing for yourself. Why should he help a whiner that does nothing but need and want? Jesus our saviour only takes the wheel if you’re steering it out of control….seems like you never took the car out of park.

    First time poster, long time reader, and you’re the only blog character that seems to do nothing but complain. Being an sd, I wouldn’t want to help you.

    If I need to break down my analogy into layman’s terms let me know.

  450. Tanya says:

    Honey~ I have been in and out for a long time now, originally using another name. I was quiet only asking advice… and have since become quite fond of many ‘regulars’ here.

    Thank you for your warm welcome none the less!

  451. Honey says:

    and welcome , Tanya, to the telenovella that is THE BLOG…You don’t have to be crazy to hang out here, but it sure

  452. Honey says:

    Spawn-in no way was I implying that. I was telling my story. He would be considered handsome by some, didn’t mean that it was ok to force himself on me.I was trying to get back into my mind -set then, when I was 19. Sorry if I didn’t handle my rape in a Spawn approved way, but I was young and didn’t know all the things you do now…. but really I shared it in case, just in case it might help somebody other than you who does things perfectly all the time. I just claim to be an expert serial dater, not a rape counselor. Sorry if it comes off pitiful rather than helpful…to you. But I really don’t think there is anything I could say on here that you would like and/or approve of,good thing I’m not trying, but thanks for sharing..really

  453. Tanya says:

    I had a successful meeting with a pot sd only to have to relocate 5000 miles away to Connecticut to help with an ill family member. Drats, now I am beginning the search for the right arrangement all over again. Of course he understood and we stay in touch, but it always seems to happen to me. Oh well. Since I am basically babysitting I will be online more often so perhaps I will become the Blog stalker I always said I would become. Who knows :) You will see me again soon!

  454. Spawn of Santa says:

    Lisa, so let’s see…
    1. You have no friends
    2. Your family wants nothing to do with you
    3. You hate your boss (but won’t leave)
    4. You are not a friendly neighbor

    Is my point fairly clear, or do I need to elaborate further?

  455. Spawn of Santa says:

    @Michael: thank you :) Likewise :)

    @Honey: I really don’t like your outburst, because it seems to imply that if the rapist is good-looking, charming, popular (and many of them are), and well-hung then it make rape OK.
    Rape has nothing to do with sex, lack thereof, or looks of either of the parties involved. It is driven purely by pursuit of power. I hope you start seeing a really good therapist that can help you sort events and feelings and put this behind you.

  456. Lisa says:

    Whitelillies, thanks sunday bus service is bad enough here and when one breaks done, it messes every thing up. That bus being out of service is going to mess up 3 trips for people since it won’t be going back and forth. As I passed all the people at the busstops, I told them what had happened. Everyone looked tired and drained. I’m just lucky that it is possible to walk if I have to.

    Villa, I’m still not seeing it, I will be glad to see May go, it sucked.

    I’m still trying to figure out my dream the other night about the bucket full of dead 2 inch fetuses stuffed in little sludge barrels (the ones that children’s gook and sludge comes in) sitting in the stock room by the sink in the store. Why did I drop one of them down the sink? Still trying to figure out that darn dream

  457. VillaCypris says:

    @ Stephan – thanks 😀 those were the days… hope you’re well and happy.
    @SDinLA – perhaps you were referring to me… i have so many friends who fought for our country, from WWII – okinawa/iwo jima… to vietnam, the first gulf war, etc. and as Midwest said some of them are suffering from PTSD due to things they saw and had to do… it’s an incredible sacrifice and most of us take them for granted.
    @Lisa – despite all the set-backs, this WILL be a great year for us!!!! 😀 😀

  458. whitelillies says:

    Lisa – I’m glad you weren’t hurt, despite the shoddy bus. Sounds like a rough day.

  459. Lisa says:

    Michael, My family is very nosy and they go to the extent of planning my wedding any tme I even have a date. They are still upset that I didn’t “marry” the sd I met in NY even though he was already married and not looking for a wife. If I had told them about this last sd, they would have been asking so many questions and going around wondering what happened. They have always been very nosy in my personal life. I had to tell them about it in the first place because afterall I couldn have never got into this apartment complex on my income. I have depleted much of my savings from taking them out, buying them this, etc, while they continue to pile up savings and go on cruises. My daughter spendt 150 dollars on baseball tickets for herself and my mom. Didn’t invite me, but when she needs something, oh yes could you get this for me.

    And they have a way of getting mad anytime they don’t get their way. They didn’t speak to me for 3 months a few years back when I didn’t have money for christmas presents and just two year ago when I refused to move back in with them they didn’t speak to me for 5 months. The only reason they start speaking to me again is when I start taking them to eat and stuff.

    I have actually been very independent. Been paying everything myself for over a year with no help and i’m very strong in some ways. I wonder how many women on the blog would walk a mile home in the hot houston sun. Most would call a taxi or a friend. I can’t afford a taxi and have no one I can call for help.

    And after living with my parents, getting married, moving back with family and living with them for 14 years, I think i’ve been very independent the past 6 years. I can’t go back and undo things from years ago though.

  460. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Lisa – really?

    The reason your mother and daughter isn’t talking to you is that you are lying to them. You said a week or two ago that they think you still have a SD, even though that ended ages ago. They think that you have a much higher income than they do, and they are angry that you are not sharing.

    Time to own up. Be honest to them, and tell your Mum and your daughter the truth, and stop lying to yourself by the way. You will find the truth liberating, and you may even take responsibility for your own life.

  461. Lisa says:

    Lets see
    I haven’t seen or heard from my family in 2 weeks (daughter is mad because I didn’t buy her shampoo and condtioner, keep in mind she has a great job making really good money)

    Have a jugement against me this past week for a credit card. I filed an answer twice (in mail and actually went to the courthouse and dropped my response in the box) but the creditor requested a judgement without trial and got one. They notified me of this last saturday and before I could even file an answer on monday, they had a judgement. There is no wage garnishment in texas .

    Just noticed i’ve got a hell of a sunburn on my forehead from my walk

    God hasn’t done much for me lately. I’ve learned that I have to rely on me and that no one is going to do anything for me. I’m alone in the world.

    ok going to lay down for awhile and hope this dizziness goes away.

  462. Anna Molly says:

    I’m sorry Lisa! Everything happens for a reason and God (if you’re a Christian) doesn’t give you more than you can handle. I hope things turn around for you, I really do. Take care my sweets!

  463. Lisa says:

    Wow what a day. Someone please tell me something positive about this experience. Got on bus after waiting 20 minutes in the hot sun after work, bus went two block, back got on fire and everyone had to get off. I just walked over a mile in the hot sun to get home. It was just too hot to stand out in the sun for another hour waiting to see if the next bus showed up on time. And I didnt get to take lunch at work today so I hadn’t eaten of drank anything since morning. OMG the heat is horrible here.

  464. Honey says:

    I second that! and also welcome to the blog, Danielle!
    Rainy in San jose today,again,just may think about flying or driving to the coast for some sunshine….

  465. Anna Molly says:

    I agree with Enigma :)

  466. Enigma SD says:

    wow — heated discussion — I love it. I for one feel that all investments don’t necessarily bring me monetary returns…. I am not looking to get a penny back from my children :)

    Danielle – because you are married, he may be thinking you are just wanting an affair, as Guru suggested. Some ways to bring it up (as suggested by others)… ask him about his previous arrangements; asked him why he joined the site and then tell him why you joined; bring up that you are really interested in seeing your children succeed, and this is a way to make that happen…. next time he contacts you to meet, say that you would love to meet, but you would feel more comfortable if you had the allowance discussion prior to investing time in another meeting… if he squirms, move on. If he wants to have a real discussion, he will at that point. No free test drives! Best wishes to you and welcome to the blog!

  467. Anna Molly says:

    Danielle ~ I’m married too and I totally understand where you’re coming from!

  468. Danielle says:

    @ SD Guru

    When he asked for my reason for being on here I told him part of it was to put away money for my child’s college. So, he knows I’m looking for money. He just hasn’t brought it up.

    I’m on here because my husband and I have become roommates. We even sleep in different rooms. We are together for our child. He now does his thing, I do mine.

  469. Anna Molly says:

    @ CardsFan ~ I want some of what you’re drinking! On second thought…..I don’t think it would mix too well with the pain meds.
    I also want to say thank you darlin’ I will always be your sweet southern belle 😉

    Hope everyone is having a great weekend!


  470. Honey says:

    aaww thanks cardsfan,I have ALWAYS enjoyed reading your post, you too seem real and like you might be just like the cool person writing all the cool posts. Drink a few for me…life’s too short to miss out on a great pina colada!! Salud! or pura vida as they say in Costa Rica!
    It means good life and Ticos(that is what Costa Ricans call themselves) use it like Aloha, for hello and goodbye or maybe just see you later..huh?

  471. CardsFan SD says:

    @SA Blog Gods: Please provide LASB with my email address — many thanks 😉

    @Everyone: I am about to put scandalous amounts of pineapple and coconut rum, and add a little coke if there’s any room left over into a large glass, relax in the pool, and enjoy this beautiful arizona day.

    Before that, a final few notes —

    @Honey — and how did I leave your name out… I have always enjoyed your spirit. I believe you are just like your posts in person. I like that very much 😉

    @LASB — Really? That makes me feel really good. I’m glad my viewpoint’s helped. Do drop a note when the powers that be provide my email — haven’t gotten yours yet.

    @Thanks City Gal, and RC — New adventures to embark on and all, but I couldn’t be happier. I’ll check in when I can, definitely.

    @SD Guru — I do love how you have a linkable post for everything 😉 It has been a valuable experience, I have made some friendships that I cherish greatly. It’s been fun. I spent two months in the company of a woman I adore and she felt the same.

    There is only good to take away from all of this.
    Good lessons. Good love. Good friends.
    Good memories.

    Now to go make some more. 😉

  472. Honey says:

    P.S. Hurt and Angry, if you want, we could meet up and I’ll help you kick his ass!! What state are you in? I’m in texas, but I have cousins in Detroit…..

  473. Honey says:

    whitelillies, thanks! and RC msb , loved the test driving allowance!! Perfect reply!
    Not harping on rape and molestations, but just think of them as losers who suck at sex with people. They have no game to seduce, convince or cajole a woman into bed with them. I mean come on, if you are like 40 and you keep trying to nail promiscuous 15 years olds, how lame is YOUR manhood? Can’t get a grown woman off who knows her body?. Yeah that 15 year old doesn’t know you suck…yet. Bet grown ass women must be Really scary,huh. Better to pick someone closer to you lack of expertise…BTW, I love a Real man who can talk my underwear off with or without the alcohol!!! Grown ass men are soo sexy. I was raped, I’m nt dirty, broken or whatever. I feel the same as if he had hit me, it’s just another type of assault. I’m 5’5,almost, he was 6’2-6’4,we were both jocks. I had gone to pick up a friend who was moving to Texas to live with me. I didn’t know that her family had alreadly left and she was staying with a friend, a guyfriend in a house of guys.Me and a cousin of the boyfriend hit itoff the first nite and made out the 2nd night. Then he decided he wanted to go further. I was in a house full of guys and I was too embarrassed to yell out,I didn’t want them to think I was a slut….so we went thru thissilent,dance of my saying,”no,stop it,no” and such. When I really should have been screaming the house down and having everyone come rushing in when I started to whup on his ass!! but I was half naked and concerned about everyone seeing me so…NEVER AGAIN.. I am jewish in my sexuality now, like the holocaust. Believe it or not I can laugh at it, yeah I still don’t appreciate but the next time a guy tried that with me, it went totally a different way. I wasn’t 19 years old in a different city, surrounded by strangers. He was Asian believe it or not, aneighbor. I had just told him I was separating from my husband ,moving out. We watched my husband drive off and he invited me over to his place for a beer. I accepted. He said he had had his niece staying with him and she slept on the pull out couch that we were sitting on and about halfway into the second be he asked if I wanted to have sex. I kindly refused and told him I had just gotten rid of one guy and that I was good for a while and kept drinking my beer. He stood up and locked the door and said some shit about how it was locked and how the beer was making him do crazy things. I just looked at him in disbelief, not scared at all. As I said he was asain and was maybe 1 inch taller than I and I’m sure I outweighed him by twenty pounds. He made me mad…So I stood up, shoved his narrow ass out of my way and said, “what’s with the locked door? I’m unlocking this door and if you try to stop me, we will both have to explain to the police why I kicked your ass. and I’m halfway there to kicking your ass and calling my husband to kick your ass too!” I said this as I unlocked and opened the door with him all of a sudden begging me not to tell anybody,he was drunk , the alcohol mad him do it…. I just went to my apartment, he lived next door and shut the door. I didn’t tell my husband, because even though I was leaving the marriage, it is still tacky for your neighbor to try to rape your wife. I still feel that I should have kicked his ass as a favor to the next chick he tried that shit with.
    Honey Brown ain’t no punk!

    and thanks for all the love
    Gloria Steinem,Bell Hooks, Sharon Green,Angela Davis, Anita Hill, Tori Amos, Sarah McLaughlin, Salt and pepa,esthero,my brother Aaron, those are my mentors who helped make me into the woman I am today. I have gay guyfriends who tell me how hard it must be to be a woman, I don’t find it hard at all. I love my soft skin, my boobs,my butt, my full thighs..I love being a woman! and I love the way guys feel, the hairy legs and strong muscles, the firm…oops sorry,off on a tangent ..Ahemm ,yeah, I do just fine…I’m alright now,lol!
    Yeah,I’m good with the way things turned out sexually in the end.

  474. LASB says:

    The US is not the best place in the world for a straight male seeking female companionship.
    Guru, I think we all create out own realities to some extent. This statement is false for you because your charm will attract great female companionship wherever you are.

    Hurt & Angry – I’m sorry this happened to you, and of course it’s not your fault! You’ve been given great advice here. I will add that I would think it’s better to call a rape support line before the police. I’ve had a lot of crazy stuff go down in my life, and the police have never actually helped. It’s like they are trained to have no compassion and treat you like it’s your fault or that you’re crazy, when in fact you are suffering trauma. I totally understand why you didn’t report it at the time, so don’t beat yourself up about that either. I’m guessing that a crisis line will help you better navigate you through the system and show you both your options and real compassion.

    RC msb – Thanks luv! You are too sweet!

  475. Lily says:

    Hello all. I enjoyed the debate between Mr. Realistic and Guru! I have not encountered men interested in a cheap hooker with no command of english. I mean, doesn’t everyone know that the option is out there? Very few men I’ve ever met throughout my life, all aware of it, have ever been into that sort of encounter to satisfy the needs in their life for passion & romance. Especially men of some level of life experience, emotional maturity, compassion, and intellectual curiosity prefer a woman whom they can honestly say exhilarates them with her company. They seek a sexual and emotional oasis from a woman who charms them on even a cerebral level, in addition to the sight of the beautiful facade, which her charm is encased within.

  476. RC msb says:

    Morning all. The blog sure has been buzzing. :)

    Welcome and Welcome back softspot, Mr Realist, and any I might miss – Still working on getting my coffee buzz on.

    @Lisa, good to see you! Hope you are doing well.

    Test drives are BS, tell him you want to test drive the allowance. You know, just try it out for a few months and see how good his wire transfer skills are :)

    @Mr Realist – You make some well thought out and compelling arguments, and your premise that all companionship is the same definitely has its followers.

    Actually I think it would be great if those that were only looking for cheap 3 days at a time “companionship” left SA and flew overseas for their companionship needs.

    I’m sure the classy, sassy, and attractive ladies here would much prefer to deal with the remaining SDs that did not see that as their number one (or only) priority.

    @Cardsfan – Sorry to see you go, but understand. Good luck with everything. We will anxiously await your return.

    “Cost of “REAL” sugar – Priceless!”
    And Midwest nails it again.

    @Honey – And speaking of classy, sassy, and attractive…. Always love reading your posts.

    @LASB – Very happy things are going well with your new pot. Wishing you all the best with it.

    @Spawn of Santa – I believe you’re right :)

    And to everyone else Hi, Have a great weekend.

  477. Mr Realist says:

    @SD Guro;
    I always like a good bet so you’re on!! …..in the unlikely event that I lose the bet I expect you to show up and collect it

    You’ve been a perfect gentleman in your discussions so I have no doubt you’d be willing to pay up immediately:) It’s not a good bet for either of us because I’m sure we can each come up with many examples.

    I’m not the type of people you described and I’m still not convinced. So I think your perspective is very difficult to explain regardless.

    I’ll summarize my perspective once again which will answer some questions/comments of others as well. Before doing so I’m going to emphasis once again that it’s a GENERALIZATION. The US is not the best place in the world for a straight male seeking female companionship. Therefore, if you’re a financially secure male who can swing regular trips abroad your options are unlimited, whether your interest is in escorts, SB’s or a substanitve relationship.

    It’s more likely that unattached men without parental responsibilities or career conflicts will be able to get away more frequently. This makes them less likely to be as good of a candidate for a large “allowance” as a married man might be….again in GENERAL.

  478. whitelillies says:

    @ Hurt and Angry – Never, ever, ever think for a second that its your fault for any reason. This is not the only place where women (and men) are raped…choosing to participate in sugar is not the reason you were attacked, it’s because whoever did that to you is an asshole and deserves to be castrated. Don’t feel that you need to stay silent because you think someone might think its your fault, it is not, victim blaming is the way that rapists get away with their behavior. You should never feel ashamed of what happened to you, angry, of course, hurt, yes, but this is not your shame. No one here ever would have told you that you shouldn’t have reported it. There are many posts about safety, because we are concerned. But even to the most careful girl, these things can happen, and whether someone is the most careful girl or the least, she still has a right to her own body, and no means NO. I’m so glad that you finally were able to reach out for help.

    @ Honey – Thank you so much for your bravery and honesty. I want everyone who has ever had such a traumatic experience to be able to come back from it even stronger, with more self-respect and self-love than ever. I admire you even more now that I know where you’re coming from.

    • SD Guru says:

      @Mr Realist

      I have enjoyed our back and fourth even though we don’t see eye to eye. And at the end of the day we’ll just have to respectfully agree to disagree. But please spell my name right! :)

      The US is not the best place in the world for a straight male seeking female companionship.

      I’m sure that generalization applies to some people. That’s why there are sex tours to southeast Asia and Russian mail order brides. But that remains a small niche and not the norm. A great majority of straight male seek female companionship right here in the good ole US of A.

      This makes them (unattached men) less likely to be as good of a candidate for a large “allowance” as a married man might be….again in GENERAL

      Again I’d agree with that general statement, but not because unattached men have more options overseas. To me, the reason why unattached men are less likely to provide a large allowance is because they could offer the “happily ever after” scenario as incentive to pot SB’s.

      Hmmm, I would assume that he doesn’t want a real relationship because he knows I am married…

      In that case then maybe he thinks you’ll be happy with an “affair” sans allowance. Kind of like the desperate housewife scenario… By the way, what’s your reason for wanting to be a SB? I’m not judging, just curious.


      I’ll contact you offline and see if we can make it happen.

  479. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Guru – or Vegas

  480. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Spawn – we’ve missed you…

    @SDGuru – will be in LA in early June. Dinner?

    @Realist – interesting discussion re economics, but the point is sugar is not about the relative costs of paid companionship. Going to Thailand or Costa Rica and swapping girls out every few days is not sugar, it’s using your $ to get a good looking hooker for a few days.

    As SDinLA said, it is a relationship, a gf with an expiry date and NSA, and generally feelings are involved. Last time I looked, going to Thailand, Costa Rica or other places to hire a girl for a few days, week or a month will not give you this.

  481. Danielle says:

    @SD Guru

    Hmmm, I would assume that he doesn’t want a real relationship because he knows I am married…

  482. NYC SB says:

    Hi guys!

    just to de lurk for a second and say hi to Realistic… its good to hear from you again 😀

    SDInLA – glad to see you are still happily attached … happy to report I am as well

    WCSD… your advice to me over a year ago may have been directed towards the wrong person… but i am happy to let you know that i am fully utilizing it at the moment… hope you are well

    all others Hiya! hope you are enjoying your long holiday weekend … now its off to sleep for me and onto hot yoga first thing in the morning

  483. Spawn of Santa says:

    /end rant. Yawn. Good night

    H&A, file a report. Even if it doesn’t help to convict in ur case due to the lack of evidence, if the MO you describe matches what another victim endures (and you can be certain there will be others), it may just be the missing puzzle piece that will help to place this creep into a facility where he’ll get all the forced intercourse he ever thought he wanted.

  484. Honey says:

    pretty please blog gods..one more email to overweight? Share again,please…?

  485. Honey says:

    rape needs to be reported. YOU did nothing wrong by accepting date, you did nothing wrong,you did not want to have sex with him at that point and he forced himself on you..what a loser he is and his game is soo lame…
    Honey-rape survivor for almost twenty years now,

    somedays I still think about confronting im and hid family and telling him what a lousy lay he was, after I punch him a few times…Hi Ron, after all these years, I bet you still suck horrribly in bed..and maybe one day when I can afford the time to do the crime we SHALL meet again and I won’t be saying “it’s ok” after you forcing yourself on me. Worst date rape EVER

  486. Spawn of Santa says:

    Why do I get a feeling that Realist goes to IIT, if ya know what I mean?

  487. Spawn of Santa says:

    Thanks for your input. For the sake of discussion it’s sufficient to just refer to the general category of paid companionship. Actually, we can even by-pass discussion on what makes a “true SD” or if there even is such a thing and cut directly to the economics.
    If we are gonna cut directly to economics, a wife, too, is a paid companion.
    It’s just that the terms of that arrangement tend to be longer on average. Although there are SBs that lasted 6 years and wives that lasted 6 months. Also there are SBs that had borne children, and wives that hadn’t. (I recommend taking the courses that come after economics 101)

    Punta Cana, Dominican Republic for ONE MONTH:
    Airfare/Transportation: $450
    Hotel/Lodging: $1,200
    What kind of shithole do you stay in for $40/day?
    Even 3rd world countries have nice hotels, and as a foreigner with any kind of value (be it cash, US passport, or healthy kidneys) you would be much better off NOT looking for the cheapest hotel.

  488. Spawn of Santa says:

    >>Are you kidding? From an unattached male perspective how on earth can giving money to a girl who’s intention is to vanish a good investment? It’s got about the same investment potential as putting a line of coke up your nose.
    Putting money into a girl *whose* intention it is to vanish vs. What exactly?
    Buying a slave? Being celibate and starting a hedge fund?

    Do you also think that buying a car is a bad investment because the car can only depreciate?
    Vs. including intangible benefits into your valuation, for example: ability to get to work and social gatherings, as well as the value of time not wasted waiting for a bus ?

    >>My friends think I’m nuts for even buying airline tickets for these girls.
    Why would you ask what your friends think about that? Getting peer approval for every small discretionary purchase is sooo high school.

    >>A good investment would be with a girl who actually cares about you and can be the future mother of your children.
    IF that is what you want. The single men that SD date are usually more interested in the procreation process, rather than the end result

  489. overweight says:

    @honey lisa doesnt have my email, if u want it sent to me i think u have to ask the blog gods to do that 😉

  490. Spawn of Santa says:

    Mr. Realist, saying that both are a hedonistic expense and therefore there’s no difference is akin to saying that Taco Villa tacos and lobster thermidor are both food and there’s no difference.
    Or how even about a steak at home in front of a TV/Computer and the same steak in a great location with a great company.

  491. RC msb says:

    I came across this maybe five years ago while searching for appropriate ways to observe Memorial day. Each year I read it again. I always find it to be a moving and elegant tribute.

    “This weekend I am going to do something different. I am going to buy some carnations each day and go to one of the nearby cemetaries and walk through the sections for soldiers. When I find a grave that has no flowers, I’ll leave one and say a prayer for the family of that person, who for some reason could not bring their soldier flowers. I will pray for our country and all who serve or have served. For their families, who also serve by losing precious days, weeks and months spent with their loved ones who are off serving, preserving peace and the freedom we have in this country. I’ll pray for the families who paid the ultimate price, who’s loved ones died, or were taken captive and never returned. I’ll pray for anyone who may still be held in captivity and thinks perhaps they are forgotten. I do NOT forget.

    Sylvia Mohr”

  492. Spawn of Santa says:

    Why do some people like to describe “that guy with whom I had one date” as “a SD”?
    It’s like if a girl started designing wedding invitations after a first (regular) date, especially if a guy hasn’t even made plans for the second date yet. I would seriously start worrying about the person’s mental health.

  493. RC msb says:

    Hurt & Angry – Yes, it has come up from time to time here. But let me state the obvious, you need to speak with a professional rape counselor in your area to find out what your options are. If you do not know the closest place in your area contact RAINN. They will direct you to a local center or refer you to a counselor. I can not imagine how terrible this must be for you, please get help.

    If you are concerned about legalities ask the counselor if you have privileged victim/counselor rights in your state. Generally they will tell you this up front anyway.

    Clicking my name will link you to the RAINN site.

  494. Hurt & Angry says:

    Has there ever been a blog post about rape in sugarland? Or is that too close to reality…I was raped almost 2 years ago. I dived right into schoolwork and extracurriculars to keep me busy, numb and in denial. I didn’t report it b/c I was convinced it was my fault for being involved in this sort of thing and needing money for school. Do you report it or just deal with it? If yes, how do you report it in this situation? Thanks.

    • Winnie says:

      Hurt & Angry,

      I am so sorry for what you went through and still must be going through. I have been on and off of these blogs….real life and 3 kids keep me so busy, but whenever I take the time to go on and read it’s comforting to see the support that everyone gives each other. Please get help and if you ever need to talk I’m here….sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone who doesn’t know you as well as your friends. Blog gods please give her my email if she needs it! Also please trust at least one of your friends and tell them that you are on this site and always give them an address where you’ll be and the SD’s phone number. Ask them to check in with you frequently during the dates and if you don’t respond to them have them call the police and give the address where you are. Your safety is more important than anything. My heart goes out to you!

  495. LASB says:

    SDinLA – Yes, I agree with you. Actually, when the pot hasn’t brought it up after date 2, there usually isn’t a date 3 unless they are ridiculously spectacular. There has only been one of those so far. I’m glad this pot brought it up on date 2. It was refreshing to see that we were on the same page, especially given the mutual attraction. He’s a lot like you in that everyone wants to marry him and he’s been there done that. I’m not they marrying kind. Win/Win.

  496. LASB says:

    “So you’ve got this nice, single, decent, educated, financially secure guy who can support you but you’re too blind to see him as a potential candidate for a “real relationship”?”
    Actually, no. He’s all of that and more, but he’s very involved in his work. He wants to keep that as priority number one and he wants a drama-free relationship. He also enjoys helping others and finds that the sugarbowl fits his desires. I would date him IRL, sans allowance, so I find his enthusiasm to help very endearing and quite frankly, icing on the cake.

  497. City Gal says:

    @ SD Guru – Very nicely outlined!!!

    @ Mr. Realist – Everyones expectations is different… one cannot impose their ideas and ideals upon others… you seem to believe you have a wide variety of options, then you’d better take them instead of waisting your time here… (wouldn’t you agree???)

    @ Everyone – have a great night!!!


  498. SDinLA says:

    Delurking to add my tuppence to the discussion between Mr. Realist and Guru, Midwest et al.

    N.B. The Guru is an ideal SD candidate not because he is married, but because he is the Guru, full stop. 😉

    @Mr. Realist (God I hate Twitter and this form of using “2” to address someone) Guru is right, you are being very black and white regarding a world which consists of a plethora of shades of grey.

    The facts of my situation do not fall into either of your 2 defined categories. I am in my mid 40s. I am divorced. People guess I am 10-15 years younger than I am. I am told I am not unattractive, I am tall and athletic. I went to a top university, am intelligent, well-traveled and come from an old money family. I have no trouble attracting hot younger women to date. My current S.O. is 20 years my junior, drop dead gorgeous, smart, also from a wealthy family, and has hunky guys in their 20s hitting on her all the time. I don’t HAVE to pay for companionship. I was a SD for many years because I don’t WANT to get married again, have any more kids etc. All of the women I’d meet in the conventional dating arena wanted the “happily ever after” and an arrangement to me was a useful mechanism to eliminate the drama of the unwanted expectations. My SBs were all college coeds. I’ve used the term before, but they were “Girlfriends with an expiration date.” In every possible way but one our relationships were like a conventional one. There were definitely feelings involved. We just knew there was going to be an end date so that neither of us would fall victim to wanting something we had both expressed a desire to avoid. And I was not paying them for companionship, I was supporting and mentoring them because it helped them towards their goals and allowed me to get what I wanted out of a relationship.

    The choice is not binary as you make it out to be. It was not just for hedonism yet neither of us viewed the other as a long term mate. I agree that single younger men often don’t know what it takes to be a SD, but I would phrase it as “Married men, or men who have been married, often make better SDs” and it is not because they are desperate, but because they usually have broader life experience.

    We all bring our own experiences and perceptions to this arena, but I would have to say that although Midwest is not someone who fits the parameters of the SBs I sought (she’s far too wise due to having enough life experience ;-)), the type of arrangement she describes is absolutely possible and to ME, in terms of what I define this “thing” to be, what she describes is in fact the epitome of a SD/SB relationship: mutual respect for each other and for the boundaries that the two of you agreed upon in the context of your lives, and the money I spent on a SB was not in any way competing with the option of spending it on a month of hedonism in Phuket.

    @LASB any supposed SD who does not initiate the discussion about allowance, both amount and the mechanisms involved, by the 3rd date (if there is a 3rd date you obviously like each other) is not really looking to pay an allowance. Period. Maybe there’s some wiggle room on if it has to be the 3rd date depending on the nature of the things you do together, but if there’s chemistry, and the SD is serious and not just a “Gift Daddy” etc., he’ll bring it up and if he’s a gentleman and a real SD it will be before any expectations of intimacy (unless the pheromones are going crazy and you rip each others’ clothes off after one dinner, but then the SB is always going to be the one at risk of not getting what she wants in that scenario.) If he’s never done it before, then your methods would seem to be an appropriate way to broach the topic, but even if he’s a complete novice, if he likes you, you’ll get the right response. Their reaction to what you say will always be telling as you described. It’s like the guys who get alligator arms when you’re out with a bunch of guy friends and the check arrives- their reaction to the check arriving tells you a lot about their intentions and nature.

    Back into lurk mode, haven’t been keeping up on the blog recently, too busy figuring out domestic living arrangements, but beijos to all who know me and kudos to those who have asked that we remember what Memorial Day is all about. :-)

  499. Mr Realist says:

    SD Guru, once again we have completely different perspectives but reach similar conclusions in some respects. I completely agree that it’s not one size fits all and there are certainly many exceptions to every circumstance. Older guys as you cited are one possible exception, in fact, I talk to an SB at least every six months who needs a new SD because her’s just fell over dead:) It also should be taken into account there would be those older guys capable of travel who’d still fare better. Guys with parental responsibilities or work scheduling may also be stuck here. There are also a surprising number of guys who are afraid to travel out of the city they live in, let alone out of the country so that would be a possibilty too. Also, gay guys looking for a beard are another good choice for an SB who doesn’t want someone married or to have sex. And let’s not forget about the SB’s International options either. There’s a lot of men in with unbelievable amounts of money in places like Pakistan and Saudi Arabia who’d love to fly them in to be showered with “sugar.”

    I do agree with perspectives being different, however, I would be willing to be that the majority of straight single/divorced men with the ability to travel would share my perspective. If not, I can guarantee that within ten minutes I could have half of those who were hesitant booking a three night stay at the Delray hotel in San Jose Costa Rica.

    One thing I vehemently disagree with is that “SB” type dating outside the US is somehow different. In fact, outside the US it’s expected that a man having intimate relations with a girl provide for her needs whether it’s a one night fling or a long term affair. While I listed paid companionship, most men would have little trouble finding very good quality, decent girls for not only an “SB” type arrangement but even for a substantive committed relationship.

    It’s very difficult to try to explain these things to people who’s entire life experience is colored by what they know only from living in America or Western world which is actually the abberation, not the norm. While there’s no shortage of complete loser men in this country, it’s nothing in comparison to other countries where alcoholism, gambling, smoking, stealing, wife-beating, are pervasive among males. In America, financially secure, decent, health-conscious men are a dime dozen and women here think this is the way the rest of the world works.

    • SD Guru says:

      @Mr Realist
      I would be willing to bet that the majority of straight single/divorced men with the ability to travel would share my perspective. If not, I can guarantee that within ten minutes I could have half of those who were hesitant booking a three night stay at the Delray hotel in San Jose Costa Rica.

      I always like a good bet so you’re on!! I see that SDinLA doesn’t share your perspective, and I doubt you’ll get him to book a trip to CR within ten minutes. I’ll wager a steak dinner, and in the unlikely event that I lose the bet I expect you to show up and collect it (unlike someone else I know :)).

      And let’s not forget about the SB’s International options either. There’s a lot of men in with unbelievable amounts of money in places like Pakistan and Saudi Arabia who’d love to fly them in to be showered with “sugar.”

      While that may be true and some SB’s are willing to consider such opportunities, I’d bet those are the exceptions rather than the rule.

      One thing I vehemently disagree with is that “SB” type dating outside the US is somehow different.

      I don’t think I have said anything about SB’s outside of the US during this dialog, so I’m not sure what you’re disagreeing with.

      It’s very difficult to try to explain these things to people who’s entire life experience is colored by what they know only from living in America or Western world which is actually the abberation

      I’m not the type of people you described and I’m still not convinced. So I think your perspective is very difficult to explain regardless.

      Your stance reminds me of a discussion about “sugar reality” a few months ago. That is, there are different “realities” in the sugar world based on each person’s values and experiences. While I’m sure your reality is very real to you, I think that reality is rather unique and may not be shared by most in the sugar world.

      He is a new SD and single. I know what I want and stated in my profile I was looking for 3-5k per month.

      Being new and single is usually not a good combination for a pot SD if you’re expecting an allowance. In your case there is probably not a big age gap either. Have you asked him the questions LASB mentioned? My guess is that if you want a bf then go for it. If you want a SD who is willing to provide an allowance then you may need to keep looking.


      Please delurk more often!! :)

      @Hurt & Angry
      Has there ever been a blog post about rape in sugarland?

      I’m sorry to hear what happened to you. If you’ve been raped, whether in sugarland or not, you should contact the proper authorities immediately.

  500. Danielle says:

    @ SD Guru –

    He is a new SD and single. I know what I want and stated in my profile I was looking for 3-5k per month.

  501. Honey says:

    calling your sugarbaby and having her ask you about your day
    foot massages, sex on tap if not on demand,not per hour,
    hallmark cards, sharing experiences, chicken soup when you are sick

  502. Midwest SB says:

    Cost of “REAL” sugar – Priceless!

  503. Mr Realist says:

    @SD Guru
    Sounds like you’re equating SB’s to escorts, which is a popular topic in the sugar world

    Thanks for your input. For the sake of discussion it’s sufficient to just refer to the general category of paid companionship. Actually, we can even by-pass discussion on what makes a “true SD” or if there even is such a thing and cut directly to the economics.

    My contention is that married men are “GENERALLY” much better candidates for an “allowance” because MOST can’t simply leave the country without having to account for their where-abouts. If you’re a financially secure male your options in America are much more limited in comparison to other countries. A well-traveled, financially secure guy has a world of opportunity awaiting him overseas.

    Let’s look at the numbers and start with absolute minimum costs in supporting a paid companionship here in the US:

    US “SB” for FOUR DAYS (twice a month, two days each meeting):
    Allowance: $1,000
    Airfare/Transportation for bi-monthly visits: $1,000
    (Includes tickets, airport parking or cab, luggage, etc.)
    Dining-out: $400
    Entertainment: $400
    Miscellaneous: $200

    That’s an absolute minimum, costs would be slightly lower if you had someone locally. The total comes to 3K a month or 36K a year. Now let’s compare to what 36K could buy outside the US, airfares are averages:

    Punta Cana, Dominican Republic for ONE MONTH:
    Airfare/Transportation: $450
    Hotel/Lodging: $1,200
    Dining-out $900
    Companionship: $1,000*
    Miscellaneous: $200
    (*Would more than cover one special SB or a new one every three days)
    Total cost for one month: $3,750

    Phuket Thailand for ONE MONTH:
    Airfare/Transportation: $1,800
    Hotel: $1,200
    Dining-out: $900
    Companionship: *$1,000
    Miscellaneous: $200
    (*Would more than cover one special SB or a new one every three days)
    Total cost for one month: $5,100

    You can find SB’s that have long term potential or spend your money on recreation. Keep in mind that you would have the miscellaneous and food expense over the course of a month regardless of travel. Additionally, you could buy a beautiful villa or condo in either country for about the lodging cost in a mortgage payments.

  504. soft spot says:

    thanks Honey will do . TTUL

    • SD Guru says:

      @Mr Realist

      It appears that your unique views came from very different circumstances than others. So let me try to explain another perspective that you may not have thought of before.

      “A good investment would be with a girl who actually cares about you and can be the future mother of your children.”

      You’re assuming all unattached men are either looking for their future wife or only care about hedonistic pleasure. Have you considered there could be something in between? Such as, when an older gentleman has already been through life with a wife and children and has no desire to go through it again. Therefore he “invests” in a NSA arrangement with a younger woman that is far more than just hedonistic pleasure but less than a full on committed relationship because he wants to keep his options open.

      “So you’ve got this nice, single, decent, educated, financially secure guy who can support you but you’re too blind to see him as a potential candidate for a “real relationship”?”

      Sure, that’s entirely possible. Perhaps there is a large age gap where a “real” relationship is not desirable. Or perhaps the woman is not in a position to want to pursue a real relationship at that point in time. Or maybe there are other reasons why she wouldn’t want to pursue a real relationship with him, such as her family and job situation.

      “If you’re a financially secure male your options in America are much more limited in comparison to other countries. A well-traveled, financially secure guy has a world of opportunity awaiting him overseas.”

      I think there are three big pictures you’re missing:

      (1) Just because there are cheaper options overseas it doesn’t mean that’s what men will choose because there are many other factors involved. If cost was the only factor then SB’s in the US wouldn’t stand a chance. Have you considered factors such as language barrier and the hassles of traveling, just to name a few?

      (2) Even though a sugar relationship is usually NSA, it’s still a relationship. It doesn’t mean you should get a new SB every 3 days as your example implies.

      (3) Comparing the cost of one month vs 4 days is irrelevant if the SD can’t spend more than 4 days a month anyway, whether he’s married or not.

      I can understand why some men would go to Thailand for a month and fuck a different girl every day (doesn’t that sound like the plot for Hangover 2? :lol:). But seriously, that’s completely different from the type of sugar relationship we’re discussing here. I agree with you that there is a difference between married and unattached SD’s, but it’s up to the SB’s to decide what will work for them. I can see where you’re coming from but please keep in mind the sugar world is very diverse and your unique perspective may not apply to others.

  505. Honey says:

    Max three pics before they have to share. No photo collectors!! Next!!

  506. soft spot says:

    Yes I did but they want more and don’t want to send one of themself. How rude can u be

  507. Honey says:

    You show them a face pic after they email you,right?

  508. soft spot says:

    I have done that and I do have one that seems to be straight forward. I think I need to change my intro and profile pic. They do want to see a face. Honey thanks a lot for the advice . Keep it real all the time.

  509. Honey says:

    soft spot sorry if my next piece of advice isn’t very helpful,and by that I mean anything you haven’t already figured out…If only three guys are willing to see it your way,give those three guys a try. thank the others for taking the time to contact you, but that’s all.
    “Start as you mean to go on..” Pretend you are french..lol!

  510. soft spot says:

    I’m in the Southeast and the SD here just want to see if they can get it and leave it. They post what they require in a women and when you respond it is something totally different. I’m not into countless emails and chats. Just be about what you sya you are willing to pay and expect.

  511. soft spot says:

    @City Gal by the lake thanks for the invite and I can use some pointers for my SD Honey is being veru helpful also

  512. Mr Realist says:

    @Midwest SB

    Sounds like you prefer escorts to sugar babies….and YES there is a huge difference

    No, my point is that they both are same category: a hedonistic expense. Whether or not you consider them to be different is irrelevant, it’s paid companionship. Again, the original premise was to differentiate unattached men and married men. “True SD’s” if there is such a thing are more likely to be married men.

    most true SDs would consider it 1) an investment 2) compensation for spending time with him rather than with someone who you might pursue a real relationship/ marriage and 3) just a gentlemanly thing to do that brings them satisfaction.

    “an investment”

    Are you kidding? From an unattached male perspective how on earth can giving money to a girl who’s intention is to vanish a good investment? It’s got about the same investment potential as putting a line of coke up your nose. My friends think I’m nuts for even buying airline tickets for these girls. A good investment would be with a girl who actually cares about you and can be the future mother of your children.

    compensation for spending time with him rather than with someone who you might pursue a real relationship/ marriage

    Unless you’re a hooker and he has the same low regard for you that statement is patently offensive to an unattached guy and guaranteed to get you thrown out the door in a hurry. So you’ve got this nice, single, decent, educated, financially secure guy who can support you but you’re too blind to see him as a potential candidate for a “real relationship”? How can you even make that statement after just saying it’s “an investment”?

    just a gentlemanly thing to do that brings them satisfaction

    How much satisfaction can be realized by a single guy who’s decent, chivalrous, and generous to a girl who’d have no interest in spending time with him if weren’t for the paycheck?

  513. soft spot says:

    I don’t mind going out but they just want to meet you in a private location and that is off limits for the first date. I am married also and they say they understand but I don’t think so. I have gotten 54 SD to view my proflie but only 3 want a date for free.

  514. City Gal by the Lake says:

    @ LASB – sorry to hear about that experience of yours… honestly some people are just tactless!!!

    I agree with CardFan SD (sorry to see you leave… but good luck with everything!!!)… three dates if there’s a display of generosity and connection… if not : RUN AWAY!!! lol

    @ soft spot – welcome to the blog!!!

  515. Honey says:

    If you can afford it and spare the time, and really,I’m serious you have to be able to afford going out. If he’s atotal jerk and stiffs you and if your rent is not overdue…and if you…wait…
    Can I ask your situation, in brief, so I can better understand where you are coming from?

  516. soft spot says:

    I have and I’m a little unsure of how to choose the rite sd for what I need and they want to have you first and not talk about the amount.

  517. Honey says:

    Welcome soft spot, have you perused the various blogs to the right of the page? if you have already,what are you needing help on?

    • SD Guru says:

      @Danielle & LASB
      how do you bring up an allowance tactfully?

      Looks like LASB has provided some answers which are similar to what I wrote in “Questions Every SB Should Ask“. In both of your cases, is the pot SD single or married, newbie or experienced? Also, it’s not clear what exactly either of you are expecting from your pot SD. As the saying goes, if you don’t know exactly what you want then you’re less likely to get it.

      @Mr Realist
      Married men are more like someone lost in the desert near death from dehydration and who’d pay a thousand dollars for a gallon of water.

      What you described is desperation. A desperate person will not make a good SD or SB.

      If the intention of the relationship is for the girl to be paid at the end of the day and then both go their own ways it’s paid companionship, pure and simple.

      Sounds like you’re equating SB’s to escorts, which is a popular topic in the sugar world and has been debated ad nauseum. I discussed it in my blog and you can see it here. I’m not trying to change your mind, I’m just showing you a different perspective.

      @CardsFan SD
      I have had a sugar’ish relationship over the last two months, but I would say has amicably concluded at this point for reasons I’d say, neither of us could foresee.

      As I mentioned in this post in my blog, in the sugar world things do come to an end and it’s usually sooner than expected. Despite the best intentions on both sides, you just never know how things will play out so you have to be mentally ready for it to end. I hope it was a valuable experience and best of luck to you.

  518. soft spot says:

    I have been on this site for a few wks and got a lot of views of my profile and a couple invites but nothing that caught my interest. Ladies I need some help with this. I let them know it is not selling it but it is not free. We both gain something from this.

  519. Honey says:

    LASB- “gush”…

  520. LASB says:

    Honey, I really dig your avatar! :)

  521. LASB says:

    Midwest – You always have the most awesome words of wisdom! Jus’ sayin’!
    “3) just a gentlemanly thing to do that brings them satisfaction.” My pot seems to be this type. He actually cares about who I am as a person. He’s never really asked me about who I am as a business person. Every other date asks about my business and wants to know about my investment portfolio, etc. But HE actually cares about me, the artist. He’s more curious about my soul. I didn’t even mention my art to him, but he found it via google and has been gushing ever since. So refreshing!

    CardsFan – I have to give YOU credit for that one b/c your style of handling that end of things appealed to me greatly. My pot is a lot like you in that his business is very up and down. I don’t want him to feel pressure or like he is being used as an atm. I know he wants to share what he can and I want us to have a very trusting relationship, one that doesn’t come down to tit for tat/quid pro quo/lemme find a good bargain/etc. I think it’s taken me so long to find something because it really really really has to feel right. There are many stars that must align. Anyhow, sad to see you go, but I certainly understand. If you ever want to say hello off the blog, please do. Blog Gods, can you please give CardsFan my email?

  522. Honey says:

    Aw, well, good bye and goodluck Cardsfan,really

  523. CardsFan SD says:


    Ok, I am going to attempt a blog hiatus. Business demands it. I have been here just over two months, and it’s been such a fine ride. I have had a sugar’ish relationship over the last two months, but I would say has amicably concluded at this point for reasons I’d say, neither of us could foresee. I need to focus on other items for the time being.

    I have made such great friends here in that short time. Cleo – you know how much I love our correspondence. (And if anyone needs to get a hold of me, see her.). Anna Molly is my sweet southern belle. 😉 Cali SB also has been a great sounding board for me. And the many others on here have been fun to talk to and hear their opinions — Dallas, Midwest, LASB, Lisa, LL, and more.

    And I’ve enjoyed learning from the SDs here – Guru, Michael Alleycat, Enigma — thanks for posting your thoughts and wisdom. Always insightful.

    What a great group. I wish you all the best.

  524. CardsFan SD says:


    That’s an interesting observation… and, based on my experience from the other side… I think you’re right. I have had excellent chemistry with the gal I’m seeing, and we went in depth *again* on money recently, and it’s a hard subject for her to broach, because she knows the ups and downs of my business and other things going on. So, I think the chemistry makes a big differences. Great point.

    And re: allowance… he should bring it up, and I’d suggest avoiding too much intimacy until that’s covered. Three dates, and you should feel he’s been generous during that time, is the way I see it.

    @The Lone Gunman

    Wow. Sudden influx of interest eh? Pretty tacky if it’s what it appears to be.

    Enigma SD

    Hrm. Interesting explanation… I get the profit thing. Still.


    You know, in a lot of ways, that sounds much like has worked for me, from the other side… I’m glad you found someone that seems such a great fit for you, and hope it works out great!

  525. Honey says:

    Hear, hear Mr Realist, mostly….Might not Quite see eye to on all of your posts but I get the gist….
    Happy veterans’ day!!

  526. Midwest SB says:

    Thank you veterans!

    Happy Memorial Day to those who have found peace. For those who struggle with PTSD and the aftermath of service, please know I appreciate what you had to go through.

  527. Midwest SB says:

    Someone’s feeling sentimental – Stephan!!! So sweet. Thank you!

    Mr. Realist – So what brings you here? Sounds like you prefer escorts to sugar babies….and YES there is a huge difference. I just don’t think you can be convinced there is. Do you consider yourself a sugar daddy? What do you think is the difference between that and a john?

    Ladies – I understand how hard it is to bring up the allowance, but consider this: These men (and some of you) conduct important business all day long in your real world. It’s not much different. Mr. Realist may find that it’s paid companionship, but most true SDs would consider it 1) an investment 2) compensation for spending time with him rather than with someone who you might pursue a real relationship/ marriage and 3) just a gentlemanly thing to do that brings them satisfaction. Most men who are SDs or generous men in general will not hesitate at the idea of helping you pursue your goals and understand it’s not always easy to do it yourself. Make sure he knows that you have real goals (unless he has a shoe fetish) and be passionate about what you are here to achieve. If you’re uncomfortable with it, he will sense it and know you’re not convinced you need it.

  528. stephan says:

    @Midwest: “when a hero comes along” is what comes to mind every time your pearls appear. Always in awe of you, thank you thank you! :)

    @Villa: thank you so much and it’s So So good to see you back! I :) “memories light the corners of my mind, misty Villa colored Cypris memories, the way we were”

    @Lisa: Helloooo! So glad Percy is well, and celebrating his 3rd year anniversary. Am always so happy to see your smiley thumbnail :)

  529. Honey says:

    Hello All, I agree with LASB and Enigma, it can be hard to negotiate with someone you really like.better to practice on guys that may not seem to be your type, you may get a pleasant surprise. and sorry, no test drives that guy Gil was a test drive. “no you can’ttest drive this car to do grocery shopping with it and bring it back” You must pay for the use of the machine. Tell ’em no, “I don’t feel comfortable doing that, maybe we can just date and continue to see other people, I feel that you are a person that I would like to get to know better but if we can’t go forward without sex then I don’t mind waiting for us to get to know each other better, because I ‘m just not the type who can have sex with someone I just met. I’m sorry but I hope you understand.. ” and then
    WALK AWAY, be lot’s wife and don’t look back.. you are so worth waiting for that you can turn offers down flat if you don’t like them.
    Honey from stormy San jose

  530. LASB says:

    Danielle – I’ll sort of answer my own question, though I’m still looking to see what Enigma comes up with. There are ways you can hint at it. I’ve used “So what have your other arrangements been like?” “Why are you looking for this type of relationship, you know the kind found on SA?” or “Why do you want to be a sugar daddy?” And then if they don’t bite, I assume they are fakes. One guy, when he asked what my experience on the site has I said, “I’ve met some very generous men who wanted to give me a big allowance, but then I wasn’t attracted to them so it wasn’t right for me. And a few guys I found attractive, but they had no interest in being actual SDs.” I could tell by the look on his face that he had no interest in being an actual SD, and then he changed the subject.

    City Gal – Yep, those guys are fake, and from what I’ve noticed, there are quite a few to weed through. I came to the blog because when I first joined, that’s all I found. I wanted to see if that’s what everyone else was experiencing too, and if that’s the normal protocol. I also came here because some guy wanted a test drive in the Starbucks bathroom and I needed to vent my disgust. :)

  531. City Gal by the Lake says:

    I mean obviously there’s intimacy involved in the arrangement, but first let me connect with you intellectually and see if you’re a right fit for me… sheesh…

    I just have to be more strict in my responses to the emails, rather than the easy going conversations I’ve used so far…

    Thicker skin!!!

  532. City Gal by the Lake says:

    Hello Sugars…

    Hope your start of the weekend has been great so far…

    @ Midwest & Whitelilies- You’re sooo right… I hadn’t realized it, until the second date… They do want the test drive… It’s sooo unfortunate… Kinda made me feel cheap when he said he wouldn’t go into an arrangement before intimacy… Damn right, we’re not cars!!!

    thanks for letting me vent here, really needed it… ^_^

    Have a great weekend!!!


  533. Mr Realist says:

    @SD Guru
    but that doesn’t mean they can’t travel internationally…..we arrive at similar conclusions for very different reasons.

    Yes, I know that some marrried men are able to get away for various reasons so I was careful to use the term “GENERALLY”. We arrive at different conclusions because we live under different circumstances.

    you make married SD’s sound like chumps

    Yes, they are to certain extent:) However, that’s said with some self-deprecating humor. Having been married I can empathize with the absolute sexual frustration and boredom that can build-up when you’re unable to relieve your need for other females, both physically and emotionally. Married men are more like someone lost in the desert near death from dehydration and who’d pay a thousand dollars for a gallon of water.

    Yes in some countries you can find escorts for a fraction of the cost here. But you’re comparing apples to oranges.

    No it’s NOT apples and oranges, that’s my whole point! If the intention of the relationship is for the girl to be paid at the end of the day and then both go their own ways it’s paid companionship, pure and simple. Whether sex is involved or not, it’s still compensation for her time and she wouldn’t be there without that incentive. From an unattached guy’s perspective, a girl you find attractive falls into one of two categories: a recreational toy or a substantive long-term prospect.

  534. Danielle says:

    @LASB and Enigma – Yeah, my sd hasn’t brought it up which kinda stinks. Especially since I know there is no way we are not going to have sex on the next date. I like him a lot and the chemistry is intense. I just feel like if I bring up money it’s going to change the dynamic somehow. So, I’m hoping he does but he hasn’t even hinted at it at all.

    I’m with LASB – Enigma, how do you bring up an allowance tactfully? Does anybody know?

  535. LASB says:

    I don’t talk about sex and I expect my SB not to talk money right away.
    Tonight I had date #2 with a very charming pot. Date #1 was very mild and overly polite. Tonight was much different. To his pleasant surprise, I brought up sex. To my pleasant surprise, he brought up allowance. It was a win/win.

    Enigma, can you elaborate on what you mean by “In that case, you are going to have to bring the allowance discussion tactfully?” I am looking for a tactful example of how to bring it up. I’m terrible at it!

    I have the same problem. I’ve never been able to bring it up with someone that I’d actually want to have an arrangement with. I’ve only ever negotiated with guys that I had no interest in, really just to field test various approaches. With this new pot, if he hadn’t said anything, I wouldn’t have. He’s super caring and really wants me to feel good in all aspects of our potential relationship. He was beating around the bush on asking me how much I wanted, as to not sound crass or put me on the spot. I told him, “look, I don’t want this to be transactional. I’ll give you my account number and whenever you want, you can make deposits for whatever amount that is comfortable for you. In a few months we can check in with each other and see if we need to make any adjustments.” I know that sounds overly trusting, but he’s not cheap or petty, and someone I would date IRL. I have yet to see any red flags, so I’m going to go with my gut on this one. I’ll report back if it blows up in my face.

  536. VillaCypris says:

    Moi aussi. Have a super weekend! xx

    • SD Guru says:

      @Mr Realist
      you actually gave the answer in your blog…

      Of course I’d agree with myself! :) But I find it interesting that we arrive at similar conclusions for very different reasons. Married SD’s usually have limitations on their schedules that single SD’s may not have, but that doesn’t mean they can’t travel internationally. And even if they can’t travel internationally, it doesn’t mean they’re not aware of what’s available outside the US. To me the international traveling aspect is not a factor.

      Married men are much more likely to buy into the whole “SD” charade and associated formalities. They will be much more motivated to pay exorbitant “allowances”… and most importantly their situation allows an “SB” to extract maximum $ with minimal time/effort.

      Wow, you make married SD’s sound like chumps out there for the SB’s to take advantage of. While that may be true in some cases, I can assure you that is not the norm.

      My friend believed that match had a different clientele and I argued that it doesn’t matter where you meet them, attractive girls are always going to be an expense.

      Even though it may cost more to date attractive women because they’re usually high maintenance, it does matter where you meet them. Whether single or married, those who don’t want a bf or gf and all the strings and drama associated with regular dating should be on SA instead of Match. Also, the supply/demand is different in regular dating vs sugar dating so that’s another reason why it does matter where you meet them.

      Remember, that type of relationship can be had for $15-$200 outside the US (and yes that’s for girls just as hot as you).

      It depends on what you consider as hot and what type of relationship you’re referring to. Yes in some countries you can find escorts for a fraction of the cost here. But you’re comparing apples to oranges. Just because a single guy can travel internationally to pursue hedonistic pleasure at a low cost, it doesn’t mean that it’s preferable to having a SB here. Or, why should I fly my SB to Paris when I could just go to some country and spend only $15-200?? Because it’s a completely different experience and I much prefer the former than the latter.

  537. Lisa no longer has a family says:

    I agree. Unfortunately so many are willing to trade our freedoms in order to be politically correct.

    Stephan, thanks for saying hi. Percy is fine, just celebrated his 3rd birthday. He’s busy nesting right now, he doesn’t have a mate but he’s constantly building nests with his papers.

    Nice to see you Villa, i’m going off the blog now.

  538. VillaCypris says:

    hey Lisa!! great to see you back 😀 nice. i’d expect Texas to honour our military… People tend to forget the purpose of the holiday… it’s not just another “day off”…. it’s to thank the people who have lost their lives and loved ones so that we can maintain our freedom… wow. :)

  539. Lisa no longer has a family says:

    Hey Villa :)

    The crown of Herman Tower which I can see from my bedroom window is all decked out in red, white and blue lights.

  540. VillaCypris says:

    @Midwest and Beach Girl from previous blog – thanks for the warm welcome back… sometimes “real life” gets in the way of posting on the blog. All is well, and I’m glad to see with the both of you, too. And Stephan, keep up the great work with blog topics, polls, etc. :)

  541. VillaCypris says:

    Happy Memorial Day weekend all! I have so many friends who were/ are in the military… their sacrifices for our country and for us are unbelievable.

    Mr. Realist – thanks for your perspective. I really enjoy reading your comments. x

  542. Michael Alleycat says:

    Btw just saw movie “Bridesmaids”.

    At one point, the main female character is told by her part-time lover (whom she is trying to re-negotiate) “You are finished as my #3!”. I think I was the only person in the movie who laughed…

  543. Mr Realist says:

    To further elaborate on unattached versus married men, the most important consideration is perspective. Married men are much more likely to buy into the whole “SD” charade and associated formalities. They will be much more motivated to pay exorbitant “allowances”, not expect a commitment, be “discreet”and most importantly their situation allows an “SB” to extract maximum $ with minimal time/effort.
    I’ve seen references here and in many profiles from girls suggesting they’d be on match, eharmony, etc., if they wanted a relationship and from a female perspective I can completely understand why they’d have that view. However, from a male perspective it doesn’t matter where they meet even a marginally attractive girl because “its gonna cost ya”. I’ve had this debate with a friend who’d been dating women he’d met through match who were mostly 40 something, rather plain and had at least a couple kids. He’d put his profile on this site for a couple weeks but was horrified by my experiences so he pulled it (I’m thick-skinned). My friend believed that match had a different clientele and I argued that it doesn’t matter where you meet them, attractive girls are always going to be an expense. Finally, he met his first somewhat attractive girl on match who was in her mid-30’s without kids. She spent the entire date whining about her huge credit card debt with the obvious inference that she was looking for some guy to bail her out. He now has finally come around to acknowledging the reality of the situation. With this in mind, there are two motives for an unattached male: either short term recreation or a substantive relationship that could eventually go somewhere. The former is what most would call “NSA” and as such would be considered as a hedonistic venture in the same category as other recreational pursuits like vacations, sporting activities, etc.. I’m sorry to burst any one’s illusion ladies, but from an unattached guy’s perspective if your intention is to go your own way at some point you fall into that category. Remember you’re looking for the best deal you can find and under that scenario so is he, just as he’d shop courses for a round of golf. Remember, that type of relationship can be had for $15-$200 outside the US (and yes that’s for girls just as hot as you). On the opposite extreme if you’re open to a substantive relationship, an unattached guy looking for the same will spend his last nickel on you and then borrow his max if necessary. This is because he views money spent as an investment in “us” and your future together.

  544. whitelillies says:

    @ Midwest Thanks for clearing that up.

    That I’m absolutely not okay with. I’m willing to date for a bit with spoiling, but no allowance to decide if it’s a good fit. However, intimacy without being in an arrangement, no way. We’re not cars.

  545. Danielle says:

    Thanks Enigma. Yeah, so I really clicked with a sd and he hasn’t brought up an allowance. I’ve only been on one date with him and its obvious we both want each other physically but I still want the allowance part of it. I just don’t no how to bring it up if he isn’t…

  546. Mr Realist says:

    @SD Guru
    In regard to your question about married men and international travel, you actually gave the answer in your blog where you wrote:
    married SD’s may have limitations on their schedule due to work and family obligations so they are not available as often nor can be as spontaneous as the single ones.
    As you seem to have concurred, GENERALLY speaking married men can’t take-off on a whim for extended periods of time without an explanation. I liked what you wrote about the SD/SB supply/demand reversal in your “date” blog.

  547. Enigma SD says:

    TLG — when your premium account expires, it shows up as a new profile. Unless you have hidden your profile, potential SBs can still contact you. The new profile explains the increase in hits. SA runs the site to make a profit, some may view that practice as unethical, but I don’t think it is wrong to take steps to entice people to renew their premium account IMHO. You may disagree of course.

  548. Enigma SD says:

    Danielle – a true SD should bring up the allowance discussion. If he doesn’t bring it up, he may be looking for a free SB or a girlfriend. In that case, you are going to have to bring the allowance discussion tactfully.

    • Winnie says:

      Enigma SD,

      You seem like a true gentlemen and a nice SD where are you located….I wish there were more like you on this site! I’ve had a few good experiences, but some pretty creepy ones too. I am honest and do not lie in my profile. I don’t understand why people both SD and SB have to lie on this site isn’t the whole point of this site is that you can be honest and upfront????

  549. Enigma SD says:

    Melissa — I actually had a typo in my posting – I DO provide informal “spoiling” during the course of getting to know someone (first three dates). I think if you are expecting someone to wire you money to meet you, you are going to come across as a scammer and will have trouble finding someone. If you aren’t prepared to show up to a first meeting without being compensated, then I think you are going to be frustrated in your search. Both parties have to be willing to make an investment for it to work. You are not expected to take time off work to meet someone — it needs to be mutually convenient. I don’t expect sex prior to having a formal arrangement. I have been sugar dating for six years now, and I have had several long term sugar relationships. I do what works for me, and it doesn’t necessarily work for everyone.

    I also strongly suggest that you read “How to Screen a Potential Sugar Daddy.” It sounds like you are having a lot of flakes contact you.

    Best wishes in your search!

  550. The Lone Gunman says:

    Here’s an interesting thing that happened.

    My profile expired on the 24th this month.

    On the 25th, I got 11 email notices that people had either favorited, winked or left messages on that profile, plus one more yesterday the 26th.

    All on an expired profile. This makes me think and wonder. How about you?


    • dave says:

      When the previous premium membership expires. Your regular/non upgraded profile then shows the current date as the date of profile created on. So people think you are new and you get responses. When you upgrade again. Your profile will show a new created date and once again you will get a bump up in responses.

  551. Danielle says:

    I’ve noticed that the guys you really like are really hard to ask for money from. Does anybody feel like they don’t want to ask for money from a guy that they really have chemistry with? If so, how do you usually handle it? Do you just ask anyways?

  552. DallasBaby says:

    You can come here to vent but rest assured it will not make a difference or change the world of sugar daddy games. Everyone looks at it from a different point of view. You just have to learn your own way of doing things. Many men target the new profiles to try for a test drive. That is what is fun for them, the meeting of all kinds of ladies and they use many lame excuses as to why they need you to meet them. They end up just using you for free entertainment or to show of to friends that they get lady company on the regular. It does work , of course why stop what works? One guy told me 80 girls came to visit him in florida and every last one he claims was either older then they said or 20 pounds over what they posted. 80 girls ? I just find that hard to believe, that they all FAILED ???? PLAYER !!! When I gave him my number though right away he spoiled me with with the flower company calling for a delivery, the local spa calling to say I had a gift card , A car detail service calling saying my car had a cleaning paid for. I can see where a girl might want to go visit but…..after 80 girls?

  553. melissa says:

    What i don’t understand is how it’s okay to allow the SD to take complete control?, you invest so much time and affection and emotions with this potential SD and then after 3 months he decides your not what he is looking for! Then the SD can avoid every making an arrangement. The SB never get the initial help they need or want, but the SD gets everything he came here for.. That is why i believe as soon as you meet you are on an interview. If you pass then the first arrangement is made, you have agreed to a month to month basis and after a couple months another agreement is made upon your experience with the SD/SB. If you both have enjoyed each other and it seems to be working out then the real arrangement is due. that’s where the real one begins and the trial ends. But with in that time the SB is getting a allowance the suits the both of them and the SD is still getting his test run. i have just been on this site for a couple days and have had many of choices but so far every guy ive spoken to wants to see me first and see what he is working with. When or how is it ok to say that i still get paid for my time.? If they want me to meet them i most likely have to take time off and or skip class. I am unable to afford the casual life and that is one of my reasons to be here, but it seems like the SD forget that.. I am here to find a great guy to have fun with but its still hints the site….. I am so confused and wondering what to do. Once i have a connection and get paid am i done looking? Am I allowed to see another SD for future potential assistance? I might come across aggressive but im not im just not understanding how hard it is for the SD to remember that we SB are here for money then love…. If you weren’t then why are you on this site instead of match.com? Same with SD if you don’t want to talk about money or feel offended when asked to pay for time then why here this site? you know why, cuz you like the type of girl you can control with money. You want what you want and the only way to get that with no questions is to date these types of woman… so everyone needs to stop lying to each other and just be honest.. Yes i need help with money. Right now i am behind and need and want to take a breath and not work 7 days a week. Yes you want to pay a girl to leave but have the ability to fall in love or to become good friends. You want to call her up and she comes and you send her on her way.. so everyone stop fooling each other and SD stop making us feel bad for asking you to pay for our time…

  554. QuirkyCocoaBabe says:

    By when do you need to know that your potential sugar daddy or sugar baby and you have an arrangement agreed? I think upon the third meeting the terms of the arrangements should be discussed.

    Is it a combination of some stated expectations (e.g., on your profile, in-person, etc.) with the chemistry you have with them? I don’t think I’m understanding the question quite right. Is it asking if the time it takes to begin talks of arrangements dependent upon a combination of expectations and chemistry?

    What are your thoughts on sugar test drives?
    What do “test drives” all entail? I don’t have any experience so I really wouldn’t know. Does it necessarily always involve sex? Would something like a date to a really fancy restaurant upon meeting initially or before an arrangement is made count as a test drive? I see many of you showing a disdain for test drives, is it really that bad?

    What are your thoughts on re-negotiation?
    I think at some point, perhaps 3 to 6 months (Or discussing the renegotiation process in the beginning like LL said, wouldn’t hurt) into the arrangement some sort of discussion/assessment on how happy each party involved is wouldn’t hurt too much, especially if things do start to evolve into something different that what was originally planned. “Changes such as meeting more often, more interaction, etc.” like Enigma said but I would still be weary of it ending up bad.. “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” but then again, as a newbie, I do worry about a situation where one might start to feel later on that they’ve undersold themselves. What would be a good way to approach an SD for renegotiating an increase?

    How’s your sugar life going lately?
    Still no sugar, but searching and hopeful.

    Don’t feel bad. I haven’t gotten a single reply to anyone that I’ve messaged, but I’m going to be patient. Some of the pot SD’s I’m really into, I wait a while (at least a week and send them another message to let them know that I’m still interested.) I don’t really know if that’s a waste of time or not, I just want to let them know that I’m serious and not a flake. Just continue your search, keep a positive outlook and just do you! :)

    Blog mods, please pass my email on to Lola and Honey. :)

  555. melissa says:

    hi enigma, so you believe the SB should go out with you for 3 dates before you make the arrangement with her?! So are you agianst her being curious if she gets paid for her time with you those dates?. You have to remember most SB are not on this site to just date for fun they are here for that and the help with their financial issues. What do you expect a sugar baby to do if she really needs the help right away. if something came up and all she has is you to ask? I am looking for a great connection with someone and i am also needing a little help. I need to take time off work to meet with a possible sugar daddy, so is it wrong for me to ask for an initial payment for my time? i am here for love/attention/professional/ or just plain business, but i do still would like to have my time respected.. I have another ? to ask, What is your opinion on asking for our monthly allowance to be divided in the month like half upfront and half at the end? I don’t think its fair that if a Sb does everything that is asked and still has to wait to the end of the month because it is possible after you’ve gotten that month you don’t have to pay. RIGHT? so is it too much to ask to feel secure in the same relationship? sorry if i offended you i just have many questions and want to have it as an understanding that how ever it is put this is still a business transaction til the two SB/SD have become personal….

  556. melissa says:

    oh and about the guys asking to go out first and possibly have sex to see if they like you, THAT IS NOT FOR FREE… you still have to charge babies and pay daddy’s.How is it fair a SB goes out spends time with a stranger and you get what you want and then you don’t give her anything.. with or with out sex it should be appreciated. You decide that day or night after that first meeting if you want to continue then if not she is still happy and your out a few hundred at most but if you do like her then you agree on a amount and a schedule. i find it to be fair if and when the agreement is made half is paid at the beginning and the other half at the end. SD if you take care of a girl she will be taking care of you. if you think its only up to you that’s the wrong state of mind. SD you all have to remember the SB are here for the extra benefit and that is money and the higher quality of men..

  557. melissa says:

    I posted for the first time a few days ago. within hours i had 38 request for meetings and more pics and numbers. I have slowly realized that these men are on this site looking for love and sex. They dont want to provide you with money until they have tried you out for a ride, they make these remarks like,” i am not wiring or sending you money i am not looking for someone to take care of. i want a good girl that will see me when i have the time on specific times at specific locations but ill tell you when its good for me when or if you get any money.” How is that ok? They are on a site that suggest we are here for financial gain if we provide you with our bodies and or time. So that means the first time we meet you pay and if you like us then we talk about the arrangement you want and the amount and when or how frequent we get paid. Yes we expect to be compensated the day we meet cause we are taking time with you and that day could end in a good time and possibly more. Why should we feel bad if we ask for money? If you want a girl to do what you want when you want and not ask for help with anything. Call an escort she will take on payment for very little and you never have to see her again.. I like who i have spoken to but i feel ashamed asking for the money due to the reason im doing this is because i need it… i dont have time to take off work or to go away for a weekend unless you provide the cash assistance. its a equal exchange , i want money and a good amount upfront every month i ll even sign a contract and you’ll get me in every way you want me and if i chose to meet you in the first place that means i like you and im willing and i am not faking it…. My point is please stop questioning our motives we are here for your financial assistance as well as a specific type of man. if we didnt care about you helping us then we would be match.com , your on here cuz your asking for a specific type of girl and the only way you would get that girl is by paying for it. Hopefully you will get what you want and so will she…..

    • Bella says:

      I totally agree with you in everyway possible took the words right out of my mouth. We both want to benefit from the same thing, but in different ways.

  558. Lola says:

    I’m still hanging out and trying to be patient, but all you ladies with sugars just make me so sad. :-( I’m having no luck what so ever. Is anyone in Nashville area thats willing to help/ give me some tips on where to go and what I’m doing wrong? This is so discouraging. Help!

  559. Midwest SB says:

    whitelilies – Typically, “test drive” implies that a man wants to see how good you are in bed before he enters an arrangement with you. Stay away from them because they’re typically just trying to play you.

    Beach Girl – I usually ignore winks unless he has a fantastic profile. It’s too easy to wink to anyone that remotely piques your interest.

  560. DallasBaby says:

    Beach Girl- I write in my local date offer rate. I find the going rate to be 200.00

  561. Beach_Girl says:

    A question for all of you
    What do you do when you receive a wink? Do you think it’s an open invitation to send mail ?

  562. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars! Hope you are all well… 😀

  563. whitelillies says:

    Just to clarify, by test drive, is that a few dates before agreeing on an arrangement, or intimacy before an agreement has been reached?

  564. RC msb says:

    @Enigma SD – Wise words.

    @To whom it may apply… – I notice that a few people on the poll listed a Budget/Allowance of more than $20,000.00 a month.

    WOW! – I’ve always wondered about that. Do you actually pay or receive that much? Are you a Professional athlete? A movie star? A super model? Let’s get to the point, are you Charlie Sheen?

    I would just love some details.

  565. Enigma SD says:

    Hi all!

    1. By when do you need to know that your potential sugar daddy or sugar baby and you have an arrangement agreed? Is it a combination of some stated expectations (e.g., on your profile, in-person, etc.) with the chemistry you have with them?

    I usually ask a range of allowance that the SB has in mind by about the third email or so. If a pot SB asks me what my allowance is in a first email, it is a deal killer. I want someone that is willing to invest a little time and effort in me before bring this up. I don’t talk about sex and I expect my SB not to talk money right away. I bring up the allowance discussion details at the first meeting if there is chemistry. I enter into an arrangement after three dates, but this doesn’t mean there is some informal spoiling in the first couple of dates.

    I am against test drives — not a good idea and there is too much at risk for the SB.

    I really don’t like re-negotiation if the terms of the relationship haven’t changed. As I stated earlier though, I am likely to become more generous with time as trust builds.

    I am currently in a sugar relationship with someone I met IRL. I am her second SD, and she also met her first IRL. This is my second time to find someone outside of SA. It is probably not a big enough sample size, but I have found my non-SA initiated sugar arrangements to feel substantially more like real relationships. That feel is my preference, but that certainly may not be for everyone.

    Have a great long weekend — mine starts tomorrow!

  566. RC msb says:

    @SD Guru – Yes, Yes, it must be the pearls!!! I really need to get better at using winks and smiles in my posts. Let me take a shot on this next one…

    @LL – What a slimeball! I assume you were careful and the body will never be found? 😉 :)

    @Midwest – As usual, a much better response than the wisp of a joke that inspired it. Well done.

  567. Midwest SB says:

    LL- What a creep! Personally, I would tell him to waste time advising someone else on becoming an escort!! Who told him it was appropriate to talk to a woman like that? I’m floored! Let me at ‘im! I’m fired up now!

    He’s the type of creep who needs to go to the pro sites and get off SA! I don’t even mind the relationship-seekers as much as I mind a man who has the audacity to assume he’s doing anyone any favors by suggesting they become a pro….Grrrrrrr!!!!!! He’s probably involved in some human trafficking & prostitution ring. Karma is a b*tch and his is coming.


  568. LL says:

    Morning sugars :)

    Midwest – No doubt, it didn’t take me long at all to start pulling out the important questions through that chatting, some men are turned off right away (usually the johns so I am totally fine with that!) and of course you”ll still get the one’s who think we will bend and drop our expectations once you’ve gotten to the face-to-face stage.

    Got to keep your standards…these men will try anything to lower them on us! I’ve got one guy who thinks he can turn me into an escort…says stupid stuff like “just keep building your client list” or “just take a few if they seem half decent and you can manage to have sex with them and just upgrade along the way”. Not to mention the fact that he had planted the seed that he will not be able to provide what I would need on a monthly basis…so as to juggles multiple SD’s.

    Hey I have no problem with one or two SD’s as an NSA relationship, but don’t think buddy that I’m about to start heeding your advise to start looking at this as a career opportunity…if that were the case I’d already be filthy rich 😉

  569. Midwest SB says:

    China Doll – Where have you been? So nice to see you again!

    Meg – I also posted to you on the previous blog.

    LL- Those men are why I got the nerve up early to discuss what type of an arrangement I’m seeking sooner rather than later. It’s also why I put my allowance expectations in my profile. I figure it’s a very reasonable expectation and no man is going to pass me by because I didn’t put a higher allowance. It would be nice if the pros and johns would just go to their own sites and leave SA alone. I don’t care if a pro wants to leave that lifestyle and go for sugar, just don’t charge by the hour.

  570. Midwest SB says:

    Good morning sugars!!!

    RC – Hmmm….daunting and mysterious, isn’t it! Maybe it’s the shade of her lipstick :-)

    Honey – There’s a post for you on the previous blog

    Stephan – again I love the polls! It’s a great addition to the topics!

    By when do you need to know that your potential sugar daddy or sugar baby and you have an arrangement agreed? Is it a combination of some stated expectations (e.g., on your profile, in-person, etc.) with the chemistry you have with them? I’ve always had a clear discussion (mostly via e-mail) about the details of the arrangement. Once that’s settled, my gents have always been quick to provide the allowance and viola, we’re in an arrangement. I’ve been lucky in that we know it needs to be discussed, we get it out of the way, everyone does their part and it’s no fuss, no worry.

    What are your thoughts on sugar test drives? Absolutely not! In fact, most times I don’t sleep with someone right away even if I’ve received an allowance. I want clear lines drawn that reflect that I am a lady, not a pro. It’s never been an issue because I will set this expectation up beforehand stating that it’s a preference and a gentleman will accept this. Truthfully, they were pleased both about my standards and the anticipation that builds. I’m not a cold bitch about it, but more like a flirtatious lady who makes him feel like he’s dating again. For those who’ve never seen it before, my mantra is “sleep with a man because you want to, not because you think it will secure an allowance”.

    What are your thoughts on re-negotiation? I think touching base and making sure everyone is happy after 3-4 months should be done. I also believe that if your allowance is meeting your needs and you are not having some unexpected crisis, you are better off not treating this like a rental renewal…I’ll pay more rent, but I want new carpet and paint. This puts the transactional feel that men (and most women) dislike back into things. If you’re going back to school, etc. then he will likely offer if he’s in it for the long run. The one time I will endorse renegotiation for the sake of a better allowance is in a P4P situation. A lady should be able to have some security while ensuring him that he will enjoy the new agreement. Enigma SD has a wonderful compromise to P4P that I strongly recommend to anyone who is settling.

    • sf says:

      I am a newbie to this, and would appreciate any information you all have. I am in the middle of an interview process, described by Linda Marshall, what is your thought and how many have you experienced it?

  571. LL says:

    By when do you need to know that your potential sugar daddy or sugar baby and you have an arrangement agreed? Is it a combination of some stated expectations (e.g., on your profile, in-person, etc.) with the chemistry you have with them?

    I don’t mind discussing terms prior to the first meeting but I need to know that I have chemistry with an SD before committing to an agreement. I don’t state any details on my profile because I would hate to miss a fantastic opportunity by generating a criteria which others may view as unacceptable terms when in fact they could be aspects I would be willing to reconsider if the right proposition were presented :)

    What are your thoughts on sugar test drives?

    I’m not keen on test drives, some chemistry could take a few dates to fully establish but if you test drive then you may only get the one opportunity before you get kicked to the curb. If an allowance is in place then you have built in a workable period of time to get “in sinc” with each other…if it still doesn’t work by the end of the first allowance period then by all means cut your strings and move on!

    What are your thoughts on re-negotiation?

    I think re-negotiation is something that should be considered and spoken about during the initial agreement so both understand their roles, needs, and unforeseen circumstances. However if we were all born with hindsight then would this ever be a concern? 😉 We live IRL and sometimes changes are needed, this shouldn’t be unreasonable if selfishness isn’t the core motivator.

    How’s your sugar life going lately?

    I’ve got 1 IRL unofficial SD and considering entering an official arrangement after my date tomorrow. It does get frustrating when 90% of the men I have been communicating with seek no more than an escort style (1 hour of bedroom fun without the added perks) relationship!

    Have a great night sugars!

    • SD Guru says:

      @Margarita Meg
      Assuming all goes well, When do you ask your Sugar Other to shut down his/her profile?… Maybe I’m still being naive. But he has expressed his very firm desire to have an exclusive arrangement.

      What you described has drama written all over it. Whatever happened to NSA?? OTOH, if drama is what you want, then go for it!! :)

      In regards to asking for lower rent, it depends on the market.

      That’s right. What I described may not apply to places with a high cost of living like LA or NYC, or high rent districts in some metro areas. But it could apply to many other places in the country where supply and demand is in the renter’s favor.

      As the overall economy improves, I wonder what that will mean for SB/SD negotiations

      That’s a very interesting question. While the economy has improved, the job market hasn’t. I’d guess the ratio of SB to SD will continue to skew in SD’s favor for the foreseeable future.

      @Mr Realist
      you are far better off pursuing marrried men. Their options for extra ciricular “recreational” opportunities are limited by the inability to travel Internationally.

      That was an interesting post. I didn’t know married men can’t travel internationally… ❓
      While I agree that married men could make better SD’s than single men, I’m not sure if I understood or agree with your reasoning. See what I wrote about married vs single SD’s here, and how roles are reversed in sugar dating vs regular dating here.

      @RC msb
      @Midwest There is something about the topic picture that reminds me of you, just can’t quite put my finger on it.

      It must be the pearls!

      I think Sugar can be every bit as much of a ride emotionally. Maybe more so at times.

      Yes it could, but it shouldn’t if it’s NSA. Most people think they can handle NSA but in reality they can’t and that’s when it can become an emotional ride. NSA takes maturity and experience to make it work and it’s not for everyone.

  572. whitelillies says:

    I think I would agree to a “test drive” if I was receiving spoiling in exchange for my company. But there is no way in hell any SD gets to test drive intimacy “without having to pay for it.” That’s a sleaze daddy, not a sugar daddy.

    @ RC – Amen to that. I feel like it’s a different type of stress, but as you said just as much of an emotional roller coaster.

  573. China_doll_DC says:

    My first order of business is in regards to the “test drive idea”, a month’s (or weeks, but I don’t think it should be longer than a month) test drive might be necessary if 1) consent on behalf of both parties 2) It is still mutually agreeable. That is both parties might find the terms acceptable and fair, most importantly once agreed upon should not be endlessly fiddled with. What I would say is not fair is prospective who just want to “try” out intimate relations with out “having to pay for it”. I’ve been propositioned too times with that idea that I find it very distasteful. If a man has such inclinations to do so, it is understandable, but he should be upfront about it versus wasting time. Afterall time is of the essence.

    We as humans are greedy to a certian extent. What works for someone at the beginning of an arrangement, may not necessarily work later on in the situation. However its best to be truthful and honest when approaching the renegotiation of the allowance situation. It is a topic to be treated with delicacy and carefully chosen words.

    With that being said, any very interesting stories? I’m keen to hearing some.

  574. LL says:

    @Michael Alleytcat – Meh I can live with typo’s when the walls around me suddenly grow eyeballs…but I was dying to send out a post and didn’t want to look funny just shutting down the web-page which would cause those eyeballs to be curious 😛

    Thx RC – no worries about sending out a search party unless I’ve gone missing for 2 straight weeks…I’ve been dating like crazy and been rejecting a million wanna-bee’s down…one who wanted a test drive and another inflexible one who wanted to do a pay per play but wouldn’t motivate me with a slightly higher amount to prove he wasn’t just running game on me. The third was meh…he criticized how all the women wanted $$$…guess he doesn’t get the concept of sugar dating 😛 New date tomorrow and one possibly on Friday. Got a few more in the communication stage but I’m sure next week will be busy too!

  575. RC msb says:

    @LL and it’s high time you returned, I was thinking about organizing a search party. Welcome back!

    @Midwest There is something about the topic picture that reminds me of you, just can’t quite put my finger on it.

    Does anyone agree with the video?

    I don’t. I think Sugar can be every bit as much of a ride emotionally. Maybe more so at times.

  576. Michael Alleycat says:


    LL – you may want to check for typos next time….

  577. LL says:

    Fist’s the worst RC

    Seconds the best 😉

    Helllooooo sugars…been a week since I was on the blogs :)

  578. RC msb says:

    Dark ominous clouds boil on the horizon.

    The ground cracks and smoke belches from the earth

    Twin thunderbolts strike in unison.

    An angelic chorus is heard from the sky.

    A new topic has begun.


  579. SA Moderator Team says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!