9 years ago
The Sugar End Game


With U.S. Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies celebrating their independence (and perhaps a 3 day weekend) this July 4th, sparks are sure to fly throughout the SugarBowl. No matter where you are, it’s always a good day to celebrate the benefits of Sugarpendence!

So go ahead and bring on the fireworks in your Sugar Daddy dating life, yet don’t forget about your reasons for seeking an arrangement in the first place.

Let’s take ‘Bob’ and ‘Sarah’ for example…

Bob (Sugar Daddy) and Sarah (Sugar Baby) exchanged messages after reading each others profiles on SA, which gave them an idea of what they could expect from an arrangement together. They are both occasionally seeing other sugars, however, neither of them have found their ideal arrangement.

Initial Meet: Their first meeting went very well. They both enjoyed getting to know each other over dinner, which was at one of Sarah’s favorite restaurants in her city. In the past Sarah has turned down various requests from potential Sugar Daddies (‘pots’) to meet with her at a bar for drinks on their first date, especially if she was asked on short notice.

Arrangement talk: Soon after their first meet, Bob and Sarah discussed how often they think they’d be able to see each other, as well as what they were comfortable with in terms of the allowance amount. They agreed on an allowance of $6,500 per month, with 1-3 dates a week. Sarah hopes the arrangement will last at least 4 months, which could help her pay off $20,000 of student loan debt, and give her $6,000 to use for other expenses during and after the arrangement. Bob thinks an ideal arrangement for him should last around 6 months. They don’t discuss the actual end date for their arrangement, but are clear on the monthly allowance.


Travel, Fun, Gifts & Sex: 3 months into their arrangement, Sarah and Bob have enjoyed vacations, shopping, great food, and most of all each others company. Bob turns Sarah on sexually at least as much as she does him, which has made for several extended trips and a few cancelled morning business meetings.

Trust: Sarah and Bob have stayed committed to keeping their arrangement mutually beneficial. Neither of them have asked for more or given less than what they agreed upon during their arrangement talk. They’re both feeling benefited from an honest and fair relationship. Vacations, gifts, conversations, laughter, excitement, and many other benefits are being enjoyed. They’re both feeling less stressed than they were before their arrangement. It may be said that their sugar high is in effect.

The End… or To Be Continued?

Many Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies agree that an amicable end is a natural part of their arrangement. Yet why, when, and how should a sugar arrangement ever end or transition into something else?

SD Guru: “@SDinLA Re: married sugar end game, isn’t avoiding divorce one of the primary reasons a married SD/SB would seek sugar in the first place?

For some that may be the case, but for others sugar could be a way out of their marriage. Which brings me to this question: for the single sugars, both SD’s and SB’s, what is the end game… Love, marriage, or something else?

Maybe “The Sugar End Game” could be a future blog topic? I’ll be pondering that during my month long summer vacation…”

[poll id=”11″]

Have you had any fireworks in your Sugar Life lately? What’s next on your sugar agenda?

Leave a Reply

502 Responses to “The Sugar End Game”

  1. Naughty Molly says:

    Hi Mel! Jump on over the the next blog and post again. That is where everyone is. And welcome!

  2. Mel from NYC says:

    So Ive been reading the posts and want to say that its great to see that there’s so much more to this than what the stereotypes say. Then again isn’t that the truth about all stereotypes. Well good luck on everyone’s journey, I’m actually pretty new to the site myself

  3. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    BDS – We tend to stay with the most recent blog topic…the threads can be a bit confusing. However, if you’re looking for specific topics, check out the table of contents on the left.

    We’ll be at The Honest Sugard Truth!

  4. BDS says:

    This is so confusing to keep up with…this thread done went sideways, crossways, upright, downright, and with that ‘class vs trash’ bit……it went straight up the rear end!!

    I just joined and have been doing nothing but reading….good material after digging thru all the unnecessary post!!

  5. BellaSavantNYC says:

    @LL point taken and understood. Respect and appreciate your comments and feedback. thank you. Yeah I tend to have that “read” by most when writing. Not always good..not always bad. haha.

    Apparently my comments were marked for moderation because of it lol. All good. I like the presence of what seems to be intelligent and strong women such as yourself on here. Makes for fun and constructive reading.

  6. LL Cool Babe says:

    Good afternoon sugars!

    Thx for celebration everyone :))))

    Bella – My comment on judging and bullying was not solely directed at you as there have multiple comments. I had well over 70 posts to read since my last posting (hence why I summarized) which is why the statement wasn’t targeted directly at you. I read your post two times in a row, the initial read came across in my opinion with a harsh tone so I decided on the spot to reread it with a light upbeat tone. The end result was I couldn’t distinguish which tone you were portraying. That said, my suggestion is to take from it what you will and throw the rest away and not concern yourself with what you feel doesn’t apply. You have however demonstrated throughout your posts that belittling others when you feel attacked is acceptable…not a very attractive quality but again it could be a victim of two-toning as well. I also think you have a lot of sass and a sense of fun which great. I look forward to reading some of your future posts. On another topic….I have no idea about the events 😉

    Cleo – How’d the “date you weren’t to excited about” go? Drinks whenever girl just txt me and let me know when 😀 I’m sending extra good vibes your way to make sure next week turns out spectacular for you too…in fact I’m sending out extra good vibes to everybody 😀

    RC & Midwest – Hell no; I ain’t goin nowhere! I’ll still be kick’in it on the blogs…I have the freedom to develop other arrangements if I so desire 😉 lol And Midwest Mama – you know I’m a mama too girl..always speak up for those who needing speaking up for 😉

    Red – how is Nuadas doing today?

    Texasugah – good for you girl, I’m happy for ya! Keep us filled in 😉

    Lisa…I’m sorry you didn’t feel like you could reach out to any of us on the blog that you trust. I hope the situation resolved itself without injury. Please know that you can email whenever…I just always stink at reaching out to people….just ask Cleo , I never get a minute to message her and it may take a day for me to get back in touch when an email is sent my way but I always do respond and would offer anything I could ~ which usually is support and insight ~ to help out ;).

    Amilia – The minute you feel embarrassment, stop yourself and choose to feel proud. Proud that you walk into an establishment with a gentlemen who will always front the bill like a gentlemen should do….that thought alone should give you confidence to just let it happen. You only get what you ask for. Nice to see you posting again 😉 And yes…one of Cleo’s thermometers for men include if they are considerate enough to ensure she gets home safely.

    Cleo – The time we went out – I still can’t believe that dude didn’t get your ride home…he was totally into you! I know I already replied to you previously but….we need to go out from drinks again!

    My thoughts on class: It’s not the meaning of the statement a person intends to make, it’s the words that a person selects to represent that meaning which truly measures the level of class one not only holds but also presents.

    Perhaps this should be an upcoming blog topic “Class vs Trash” I think we’d all have fun participating in this one there’s so many avenues we can explore! Trash or class we’ve encountered, Trashy and classy things we’re most proud – or embarrassed – of, What your idea of Class and Trash is….and the list continues…so many avenues not to mention entertaining 😀

    Unless of course it has already been covered recently

  7. BellaSavantNYC says:

    @amelia..you should not feel awkward about not gesturing to pay for the bill. a true SD should never expect you to even make such a fake gesture in my opinion and quite frankly won’t even make it a question as he will simply immediately grab the bill and take care of it and all you are left to do is simply thank him for a lovely meal. Remember this isn’t typical dating scenarios and the beauty of it is that we don’t have to play any of those “fake games”.

  8. amelia says:

    @cleo – i’ve never thought about being reimbursed for taxis ever! now that you mentioned it… and then again, i was embarrassed enough that he was paying for the meals.

    talking about that, what do most of you usually do when the bill came? that truely is an awkward moment. considering that we are having an arrangement, i would think that the SDshould be paying for the meals. but when the bill came, i would feel so rude that i automatically assume that he is paying and just thank him. i would think that offering to pay for my half of the bill seems so fake becoz truth is, i sort of am expecting him to be paying for it. that is really something i have yet to get used to.

  9. amelia says:

    @LL – congratulations! wish i have better luck at it myself.

    @midwest – how did your exams goes? you’ve got the results?

    @sg2 – would love to see your blog!

    @Guru – talking about blogs, it’s been sooooo many months since you last update yours!!! I was dying to know what happened to your domintrix SB, it’s been so long, i forgot all about it!!

  10. BellaSavantNYC says:

    @Cards…in addition I’d like to know how my statements are inaccurate. I visit a blog, read a few posts from people, some which happen to be along the same lines with each post as obviously viewed by others as well. I make a statement providing my opinion on them and then I’m told it’s inaccurate because I don’t know “the history”. Yeah ok. My statements are STRICTLY based on what I read as provided by people who choose to post what they post. I mean if you don’t want something responded to or possibly critiqued then don’t write it.

    I have no problem with you, sparkle, Midwest, etc offering your feedback on my posts. It’s how blogs are meant to be engaging. I don’t know anyone well enough to know who they are however I came here everyday and repeated the same statement of “peas and liver suck” then well aren’t you gonna simply come to the conclusion that i hate peas and liver? lol

  11. bella we are simply asking you not to assume that you know how we individually have chosen to react to things over the years. we are not asking you not to have your own opinions only asking you to stop saying things about the way we are acting.

    otherwise i don’t care a whit about what you say, just don’t lump me in some group and tell me i’m placating someone. if you have sometihng to say, say it, we just think hey, maybe you could lay off the telling us what giant screw ups we are

    it’s okay though, it happens a lot

  12. CardsFan SD says:

    @Bella: And you absolutely don’t have to read any of the other blog posts, and you can also just ignore lisa’s, if you so choose. However, you made a statement about me. I am part of the community. So speak as freely as you wish, without knowledge of the past or history, and be comfortable in the inaccuracy of your statements. Yay. But don’t expect everyone to grant you a free pass to say whatever you want about whomever you please, without responding.

  13. BellaSavantNYC says:

    @Cards – as I stated …my time is better spent than reading multiple blog posts. I don’t need to defend myself to anything. I am a free speaker and will remain as such. I will learn as I go about people and their personalities. That being said if the community has in the past offered what they can in the way of help..then I will just say it obviously hasn’t worked which is simply sad. Kudos to the community for trying though!

  14. BellaSavantNYC says:

    @ Sparkling…did I ever state that I was “the first” at anything? No however just as you may have all in the past provided your input as a newbie I feel I am allowed to do the same whether said in the past or not. I don’t think I need to read 400 past blog posts in order to curb what I am going to say so the “regulars” don’t have to hear it again. How “we” deal with a situation? Again I don’t conform and don’t choose to. It’s an open forum and I will treat it as such. This isn’t high school.

    PS – loove those shoes!! 🙂

  15. CardsFan SD says:

    @Midwest — Well, while Friday is still technically half a day away for me, I take solace in the fact that happy hour is only about 5 hours away, and I never in my office on Fridays anyway, so….

    it’s basically the weekend, the countdown has started 🙂

    (@RC — so your package is almost here — thanks — what would be appropriate delivery confirmation?) 😀

    I should keep my mouth shut, but…
    @BellaSavantNYC, who said “the community chooses to placate it versus offer possibly positive helpful advice”

    You put yourself in a difficult position to defend, if you proclaim yourself as “new”, yet so quickly paint “the community” with a broad brush stroke – one whose history you could hardly know. There are countless posts offering “possibly positive helpful advice”, if you read through past blogs. Your assessments are misinformed.

  16. SG2: my feet and shoes say thanks!
    midwest: i have zero sugar plans for the weekend, in fact i’m going to hang with my sister and niece… very excited! that said, i find myself with a full three day weekend NEXT week and no plans whatsoever… so i’m going to have to fnd *something* fun to do!

    as for sugar? currently wondering at the sd’s who can meet an sb for lunch and know she took a cab or parked and yet not offer to reimburse her. this is NOT the same as a gift for meeting, just covering “incidentals” – and lest you think it’s nothing, i’ve had lunch cost me 20 bucks in parking or more in cabfare!

    wonder what they’d say if i showed up in flip flops and sweaty from a bike ride
    distorted thumbnails makes NO sense, they let you crop a square out of the pic, do that. they can spend two seconds to see the REST of it
    TexaSugah: i think i need to go to boot camp with you… mostly at the finding part! lol
    bella i am intrigued that you assume you are the first ever to offer positive suggestions to someone here. unless you have read back a lot of the history you can only know how we deal with any situation *now*

    if you find us great and informative perhaps you might be willing to believe that we’ve all done our best here?
    lisa: i dearly hope you didn’t hurt percy.

  17. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Rachel – i passed it along! Enjoy!

  18. BellaSavantNYC says:

    @ Rachel..that’s awesome. I’ve taken a few ballroom classes and found it even more challenging than basic dance classes which I do for fun and general exercise. Even with hair undone and work shoes you’re lookin’ great! haha

  19. Rachel says:

    @Bella – I’ve danced my whole life and have been teaching since I was 14/15 (in my early 30’s). My Avatar is from a dress rehearsal (hence the work shoes and hair not done) for a March of dimes event. It was a great event. I did a skit with a bunch of ballroom dancing with two gentlemen to the song “pretty woman” where I was a clumsy young attractive woman with men tripping all over her. Every time I’d “trip or stumble” it would be into the arms of one of the guys into a stunt or a tricky move.

    I still teach, but nothing like that now, I teach more of a gymnastics type of dance/art form which is an AMAZING workout! 🙂

  20. BellaSavantNYC says:

    RE: The recession and the SugarWorld. Yes it has impacted and changed it greatly

    Unfortunately it has also changed the SB/SD quality. Many more desperate, low class SBs have entered the world simply lowing the quality of what I feel is a traditional relationship. And because of it I think also SDs have changed their game. I have noticed this in NYC a lot over the years and it really forces you to be more particular about what you are seeking and also more direct about your expectations to pots. Most recently I have moved to international pots as I find them more classy, generous, worldly and not affected by the obvious US economy.

  21. BellaSavantNYC says:

    @SD – thank you for your advice. being new to the blog is just that NEW. I don’t think simply because long time bloggers have maybe discussed something before doesn’t give me the right to express my own opinions and thoughts on it, simply because I’ve just joined the community. After all is it not a public community you’ve created here (which btw is great and informative).

    And yes painful is a great word for that situation, however the community chooses to placate it versus offer possibly positive helpful advice. Sorry but that does no good for anyone.

  22. SD Guru says:

    I’m going to have to bump someone if this goes well… *sigh*

    Isn’t that a great problem to have? I’m sure most sugars on the blog would love to have your problem! 🙂

    Working on a new blog. Its going to be good.

    That’s great and I can’t wait to see it. We can use more SD blogs out there!

    Perhaps those are deeper issues that require help beyond a blog and the virtual world.

    That’s been painfully obvious to the long time bloggers here. I think you’ve made yourself clear and I’d suggest that we move on to other topics.


    Re: The Great Recession and the Sugar World

    Seeing how the economy has been part of the blog convo lately, I’d like make a non political observation about how the Great Recession has impacted the sugar world. I know this subject has been examined in the past and maybe it’s time to take another look at it (or perhaps as a future blog topic).

    – Most people would agree that SB’s far outnumber SD’s, perhaps on the order of 10 to 1 or so. The Great Recession may have caused more pot SB’s to enter the sugar world thus making the ratio worse for SB’s.
    – The Great Recession has disproportionately impacted older male with higher paying jobs, and those jobs are not coming back anytime soon. That could significantly decrease the number of pot SD’s entering the sugar world (or increase the number of fake daddy’s).
    – Therefore the imbalance between SD’s and SB’s continues and has been made worse by the Great Recession (or better, depending on your POV) and it’s not going to change any time soon.

    Your thoughts?

  23. BellaSavantNYC says:

    @Rachel..haha. I figured there was someone else you were referring too. Are you a dancer?

  24. Rachel says:

    Good (late) morning sugars! Hope everyone had a good night and their beers/wine/martini’s were fabulous!!!

    Did I show my sugar age by mentioning NYC SB? LOL! Dang.. I just realized I’ve been on here chatting with you fine folks since 09!!!! Of course there are the time I disappear when I’m in an arrangement 🙂

    @Midwest – thanks gurl! It’s GREAT to be back! NYC SB used to have my email, and I her’s when we were all talking about a bunch of SB’s getting together and planning our attack on a beach or the city. I believe I still have yours, I just emailed you!

    On the topic of pictures… some of my thumbnails are distorted, but, if you click on the pic the original size without distortion is shown. And, frankly, if someone can’t take the 2 seconds to click on my picture to see what I REALLY look like, then they obviously don’t have the attention span that I seek. lol! My main picture is a close up of my face with a smile, and even though the thumbnail is distorted, you can see my amazing smile!

    Onto something that is stuck in my head… Maroon 5’s old song from their first ever album (song about Jane) “secret”. I am going to nominate this song into “2011’s SB/SD songs of the year” Anyone care to add to this collection? I think it would be great to have a SB/SD album!

  25. BellaSavantNYC says:

    On another topic….do they have SA events in anyone’s city like they do here in NYC? Has anyone attended them and enjoyed them?

  26. BellaSavantNYC says:

    @Midwest..haha. yes you chose to reply and entertain it however now that you feel left with nothing to say you choose not to entertain it. Love it. I’ve read many of your post and appreciate the opinions and advice that you have provided to the community. We don’t all have to agree on everything….it is the real world and just because we are on a blog doesn’t mean everyone has one brain.

    Well I think it’s great you have formed friendships from your cyber friends. I have enough real world friends and don’t really look to the internet to gain new ones. However I do find this blog entertaining and love all the different personalities! I enjoy hearing about successful SD/SB experiences like LL and Texas and hope that everyone (including Lisa if she’s lucky) finds what they are looking for.

  27. BellaSavantNYC says:

    @SouthernGent…can’t wait to see your new blog. Looks like the community could use something fresh, exciting, and not so “ghetto” lol

  28. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Bella – “Mother hen” is not necessary, but I’m proud to carry the title of motb. I have met and become friends with many of those here. Again, you are making assumptions and your lack of understanding is showing. If it interests you, the blog archives make for great reading for sugar and you’ll see how friendships can form even in a faceless, virtual blog. Lastly, “not immune” – anyone at anytime can find themselves in times of hardship. I will not be entertaining this line of conversation any further.

    Sooooo….who has sugar plans for the weekend? I’m seeing one of my favorite musicians at an outdoor concert and spending some time on the water! I LOVE the summer!

    If any of you like the blues, check out JJ Grey.

    Congrats Honey on DQSD! Where did you meet him?

    I haven’t heard much about WYP lately. Are some sugars still using the site?

  29. BellaSavantNYC says:

    Wow what world do you live in? Yes I agree sharing your problems and concerns with friends is healthy and helps one resolve personal issues. It’s good for everyone to vent. I don’t view what you do as venting as much as I do view is as just complaining and whining. It’s sad that you have so much held inside to the point that it causes you to damage something you love. Perhaps those are deeper issues that require help beyond a blog and the virtual world.

  30. BellaSavantNYC says:

    @ Lisa….if you were really “in the ghetto” you wouldn’t last five minutes because your ignorance would surely get you put down quickly. If I really wanted to attack someone I would. However the fact that I disagree with how you present yourself (weak, emotional and clearly insecure) doesn’t mean I lack class. I don’t care if I’m new to the blog, I am who I am and won’t create a fake persona so that “the cool kids” will like me. haha. I’m not in junior high.

    So yes if this blog is not too “ghetto” for you I invite you to leave and start your day and do something positive with yourself..for once.

  31. Lisa says:

    And keeping one’s daily woes and problems to themselves often leads to violence. Venting is good for everyone. The other day I was not allowed to express my views on the current situation of our country (something everyone should be concerned about if you have parents or plan to continue living in the US) and as a result I did something horrible to something I loved for many years. I was already upset and not being allowed to vent to my fellow bloggers, well I just sort of lost it.

    ok i’m off now

  32. BellaSavantNYC says:

    @ Lisa..if it’s such a bore why continuously post? The beauty of blog is the mixture of personalities, opinions and perceptions. Why would anything so homogeneous be exciting.

    Yes, the economy sucks and has hit everyone in some way. Even my business has been curbed by it. However I feel it’s how we manage through these times that will keep us stable and at the top. I never claimed to be immune to the troubles of the world, but I do have my own personal way of circumventing them and keeping myself at the top of my game.

    LMAO @ “new ghetto” blog. What makes a blog ghetto? I’d love to hear that.

  33. Lisa says:

    Bella the blog is not random to those of us who have been on here for awhile. We care about each other and are not hear to boast how the world revolves around us and attack fellow bloggers (this is especially tacky for new posters) and I can tell you that Midwest would never act so classless and tacky as you have.

    Ok i’ve got to get my day started, time to leave the ghetto

  34. Lisa says:

    Midwest, always a class act 🙂
    And yes no one is immune, the saying “the bigger they are the harder they fall”

    Maddoff was living the good life too at one time

    I was very stable at one time, lived at the same address for 14 years, same job for 8 years, had a good credit rating, etc circumtances change, the world changes, the economy is a mess and this will affect everyone regardless of whether or not they think it will affect them.

    I miss the early days of the blog, hate the new ghetto one. It is a cold isolated place.

    Ok off to get my loser self running some errands.

    The blog has become a bore, too many people with attitudes.

    Congrats LL 🙂

  35. BellaSavantNYC says:

    @Midwest – immune to what? Sorry didn’t really get how my situation will change. As for courtesy everyone has different sensitivities. I don’t think there is anything wrong about speaking my mind and sharing my opinions. Just because you may not agree with them doesn’t mean I need so sugar coat (no pun intended..haha) my thoughts. I mad a simple observation and provided constructive criticism to what I viewed. People can take it or leave it….doesn’t change my thoughts either way.

    The fact that you feel the need to apologize to an entire random blog community for simply freely expressing your thoughts is something I feel is unnecessary. I respect that you want to take on a mother hen role and have developed virtual relationships with people. We are different people, who see things in different ways. For me daily expression of your whoas and troubles leads to more negativity being drawn to your world. I’m not here to placate people’s insecurities or emotional instabilities.

  36. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Bella – Common courtesy is a norm that is expected regardless of the venue. Some people just don’t get it. When your situation changes ( don’t think you’re immune) perhaps you will understand better.

    Sorry sugar friends…you know my intentions.

  37. Texasugah says:

    Hey Honey!!!

    I’d love to get together next week. I’m going to be a little busy with my sugars since I’ve been away for a couple of weeks. But you and I are doing lunch or maybe a happy hour in a major business center. hint, hint

    Last night was one of the best sugar events ever. He looks just like Dennis Quaid. Oh my.. sweet, kind, intense, touchy feely, romantic and GENEROUS. I’m very pleased. I’m going to have to bump someone if this goes well.


  38. BellaSavantNYC says:

    First off…GOOOOD MORNING Sugars!!

    @Midwest – I don’t come into anything and try to “follow some norm”. This isn’t a stepford blog. And although I appreciate the presence of a mother hen I will not be controlled in my opinions or what I choose to say based on my observations. My level of classiness has nothing to do with coming on a blog. This is not my first rodeo and my class, confidence and intelligence has lent to some successful relationships with wonderful SDs

    @Toni – i wish I had the time to keep a complete blog. I assure you it would be about confidence and not desperation in the world of SBs of any color. haha.

  39. RC msb says:

    Sparkling Cleo, I was just playing Sparkle, You know I hope for nothing but the best for you. Nothing would make me happier on BN2CW – Part 2 then for you to find a awesome Sugar Daddy.

    I know you deserve it, and I truly want it to happen.

    So whatever universal persuading power I might have is all yours Sparkle. Let’s get you hooked up! 😀

  40. SouthernGent2 says:

    Working on a new blog. Its going to be good.

  41. RC: how does one control what “be nice to midwest aka cleo week” accomplishes? as far as i know it just is and the universe uses it as it wills

    perhaps your universe persuading power fu is stronger than mine…?

  42. RedMaru says:

    Thanks sugarfam. His nose is dry matter of fact. Will try Midwest suggestion of cooling down the pet bed. He’s moving around but slowly.

  43. RC msb says:

    Cougarlicious, Well……………………..OK. But this time she has to use it to get an SD. No ego pumping this time!

  44. RC msb says:

    BellaSavantNYC, I’m pretty sure she meant NYC SB. She is a sugar you haven’t met yet.

    Just a note to everyone. Whenever a picture is distorted in the thumbnail view it is almost always because the picture is too tall or too wide compared to the other side. This can throw the calculations off and confuse the thumbnail viewer. Result: distortion.

    This can often be solved by shortening the length or width (whichever is longer) just a tiny bit. Simply open the picture in a viewer and crop the picture slightly and re-save it. Even if you remove just a few pixels from the longest side, it often is enough to make the math work out so it thumbnails down properly without distorting.

    RedMaru, Cats often starve themselves a bit when the weather is hot. I mean keep an eye on the poor thing, but it’s probably just the heat, and will pass.

    Just got back from Zumba class. Whew!

  45. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    RedMaru – Awww…see if his nose is moist. Also try putting a bag of ice wrapped in a towel under his bed for a bit to cool it off for him. Cats don’t do heat very well, so it may slow him down. Mine sleeps on the leather when it gets in the high 90s. I don’t care much for a/c, so it gets warm inside until I this FL girl gives in. Hope he feels better soon!

    Welcome back Rachel! NYC SB is on here intermittently. I’ll send her a quick note. Does she have your e-mail?

    RC – since I’m out of the sugar bowl, could Sparkling Cleo stand in for me during be nice to Midwest week? BTW – Thank you for including me 🙂

    Gail – I love, love, LOVE Appletinis!!! They’re right up there with Godiva martinis!

  46. Toni says:

    Bella you should create a blog! I’d love to hear more from WOC SBs 🙂

  47. RedMaru says:

    I second third fourth, etc the congrats on your sugar LL may it be SWEET!
    I second MsCyn’s emotion 😀

  48. MsCyn*642427* says:

    LL–Congrats! Hopefully all us pot SBs will be joining the ranks of “sugar’d” soon.

  49. RedMaru says:

    Evening sugars
    Looks like I missed the excitement again. A little worried this evening. Nuadas(my cat) not eating. I’m hoping its just kitty finickiness and this summer heat. But I’ve been serving him up a steady diet of meat(as raw as possible) since I’ve been low on wet food as he hasnt been eating it just been lying on the floor. Keeping the water fresh too.

  50. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    LL – Congratulations! I’m very happy for you! Please stay and share your adventures!!!

    Bella – Is it classy to come to a new place and immediately insult others in the name of “observing and commenting”? It’s not a matter of “disliking what you hear”, but more a matter of making “observations” based on limited information. Call me the mother of the blog, but I care about those that are here and would defend them (and myself) any day.

    Michael -love you new profile…it is definitely to the point, but I wonder if it might give some ambiguity about what you’re seeking (relationship vs. arrangement). Also, I like the second or third for the default pic just because it’s not distorted. You’re so cute in the second even though your eyes are closed. Do you have any hiking or scuba pics? Those would be fun too. Lastly, I get the flakes comment, and RC made a great point, but we’ve always talked about keeping it positive. Should that be true for the guys as well?

    CardsFan – ever find Friday? I’m so ready! Fun concert coming up!!!

  51. BellaSavantNYC says:

    @Rachel…do you mean me? I don’t have a blog…

  52. Rachel says:

    @NYC SB… I went to go on your blog… I haven’t been on since my last go around in the sugar bowl… can you approve me again?

  53. RC msb says:


    I am so happy for you. And yes, there is no doubt that this is a direct result of “Be nice to LL Cool Babe ” Week. So those who want to be on next month’s list better be nice to RC. 😀

    Anyway, I think it’s so great. Now no disappearing on us. I expect you to be busy, but drop in from time to time and let us know how it’s all going.

    Enjoy your drinks, and I shall have a drink to you tonight.

  54. i see i didn’t use “be nice to cleo week” correctly since i got all sorts of mad soul feeding props but still remain sd-less lol – i guess i’ll have to use the next one to fill my sugar *cough*shoe*cough* daddy needs – i do have a few dates here and there though that i arranged during said week *grin*

    but seriously LL congrats, i hope this arrangement turns out to be as wonderful as the first date implied in terms of promise! girl we have to get a drink, i haven’t seen you in ages! enjoy your night off; i have a date but i’m not excited…

    at least i’ll get to practice my french *grin*

  55. BellaSavantNYC says:

    LOL @ SDGuru…do you really want a visual on that? haha

    Gail how long til happy hour for you? The east coast is already rockin’! 🙂

  56. Gail says:

    Thank you Texas Sugah : ) In the meantime continue having the fun and excitement that sugar has to offer!!! I will be checking out your blog as soon as I get off of work : )

    Happy hour isnt here yet…but Appletini’s sure sound good when I get off. LL Cool Babe and Rachel I will join you for drinks later on my patio. It’s Be Nice to LL Cool Babe week!!!! Congrats on the steamy arrangement.

    Honey and Rachel….love your new pics!!!!!

  57. RC msb says:

    Actually I think he looks short in the hippie pic because the smaller version is being smashed slightly by the software. It happens sometimes.

    Michael you should re-crop that shot and make it more square. That should fix the smashing, and most of what’s above your head is wasted space anyway.

  58. SD Guru says:

    Q: How hot is it in NYC?

    A: “it’s hot as an SD’s balls here in NYC…”

    I can’t imagine the visual on that one… time for another beer!! :mrgreen:

  59. Honey says:

    On Happy Hours…I would be more than glad to host. Texassug was talking about a sb meet up or something. I need to get out more. Need some fresh, new business ideas and I need some fun too! I’m in Houston all month!!

  60. Honey says:

    Thanks RC!! Mike you look short in that Hippie pic and like a giant in the other..go figure!!

  61. BellaSavantNYC says:

    I’m with the general happy hour sentiment though and it’s hot as an SD’s balls here in NYC..time for a chill glass of Rose. Hope everyone is enjoying a happy hump day!

  62. BellaSavantNYC says:

    @LL appreciate your feedback. My opinion is just that. My opinion. As is yours. I love how when people don’t like what they hear they call it judging. The fact is (as noted by many others) she does do a lot of complaining. As a first time reader of the blogs that’s ALL I saw, so I suggested trying to see things more positively and perhaps more positivity will come her way. Works for me!!

    And what are we in 5th grade? I don’t think anyone is doing any bullying. haha.

    Perhaps that beer will help you see a bit more clearly now or just have a heck of a good afternoon. 🙂 Oh and congrats on your new arrangement..definitely something to celebrate!

  63. Rachel says:

    LL – enjoy your beer and the lovely weather… you deserve it!

    Michael – your profile looks good… I like the pics too!! Your profile is quick and to the point, the best part is it leaves room for a woman to contact you asking questions more than, “what’s the weather like today?” LOOOL… kudos!

    And now, I am going to take part in LL’s plans and pop the top to a New Castle and RELAX after a very long day.

    Hello to all and hope everyone had a great day!

  64. LL Cool Babe says:

    Good afternoon sugars…..indeed it is; the universe seems to be favoring me this week it must be all RCs doing 😀

    I just had a hot date with the pot I most recently having being posting about and boy I’m about to have a whole lotta fun with this man based on today’s steamy date! ~ Officially arranged.

    Now I’m home and my daughter is out of my hair for the rest of the day so I can finally just chill and have the place to myself for the first time in at least a month AND reading through the blog is definitely the amusement I was hoping for! I think it’s time to crack a beer, go sit on the balcony for the gorgeous weather, and take pleasure in today’s rewards to offset my current level of burdens! 😛

    Welcome newbies * 🙂 waving your way*

    Here’s my summery for all the posts:

    Positive, Witty, Informational and Humorous posts get a big YEAH BAAAAAAABY!

    Judgmental and Bullying posts gets a big GROW UP PEOPLE!
    You criticize Lisa for negative postings but you just did worse IMO, Lisa doesn’t Judge, Lisa doesn’t Bully, and Lisa isn’t a Hypocrite. Enough said.

    Time to get my drink on sugars!

  65. BellaSavantNYC says:

    @SD Guru….thanks for reply. That has been my general impression from benefactors as well. We all can have moments of hard times..it’s just that kind of economy. However I as a woman I respect those that still have ambition and goals to make something of themselves even through the hard times as such as Midwest had stated.

    Starting up my own business was no stroll in the park for sure..haha. But have appreciated the support intellectually and otherwise that I get from the gentleman I have had relationships with which have helped me succeed.

  66. RC msb says:

    Hey Honey, Micheal put the filtered link on his profile, so it may not open for you.

    However for some reason there is a nice cleaned up link to Michaels profile that can be reached by clicking ‘my’ name.

    Go figure how that happened?. Enjoy.

  67. Honey says:

    Michael, I can’t see your profile, is it still up?

  68. texasugah says:

    Hey ya’ll

    My other post didn’t make it. I was asking for PB to email me. I just updated my blog PB and Sylvia if you want to check it out.

    Cleo – what I have found is that, on one site in particular, men are looking for something more. Some of them have told me that although the women looked wonderful there was no substance. So when we would start talking and they would learn that I’m genuinely a nice person and intelligent it’s like.. oh crap! And if you think, many are in business where you have to make decisions quickly or what you want will be gone. So..they move on what they want, The conversations are frank so they don’t have to guess.

    As to whether or not I was alpha… didn’t really matter.

    Gail, I’m so glad for you.. I hope to have a similar outcome.

    have a sugar meet today.. whoo hoo.. one to add to the potentials just in case.

  69. SD Guru says:

    @BellaSavantNYC et al

    I see a lot of “i’m down and out”, “broke”, “can’t get food stamps”, etc. etc. I can’t imagine, at least from my experience and conversations, that this is attractive to any pot SD. Maybe I’m wrong. Am I?

    Generally speaking, as Enigma pointed out, most SD’s are not attracted to desperation unless they have a case of “White Knight Syndrome“. However, being “down and out” and “broke” does not necessarily lead to desperation as each person’s situation is different and a lot can depend on the SB’s age and maturity level as seen in Midwest and Gail’s cases.

    The challenge for SD’s is to determine whether the SB has potential to dig herself out of a hole with some help, or will it be money thrown down a money pit. There is no easy answer for that and each SD will make their own decision based on their preferences and risk tolerance.

  70. RC msb says:

    Jessie – Thanks, and thanks for telling me. I love making others look unbecoming any chance I get. I figure it makes me look better by comparison. 🙂

  71. BellaSavantNYC says:

    oops sorry my previous judgement response was meant to be directed @Midwest not @MsCyn. still getting hang of all this blogging response lol

  72. Jessie says:

    Good Morning Sugars 🙂

    @RC – You have such a “wicked” sense of humor that I once warned myself not to read your posts except when I’m alone, ’cause I usually do this belly laugh, that is oh so unbecoming. However, apparently I forgot to heed the warning this morning, and now people think less of me .

  73. BellaSavantNYC says:

    First of all I never made assumptions or judged anyone. Just as we all are allowed to do I made observations and commented on them. @MsCyn

    That being said. To each their own reasons for being a SB, however I still think it’s tacky and classless to seek a man to “feed your way” simply because you want to spend all day b*tchin’ and moanin’ about how terrible your life is rather than just think positive and take action. My question was more directed towards SDs to see if they found this type of women attractive.

    And just because something is a constant doesn’t mean you have to accept it. I still think coming on a blog every day with nothing positive to say is a waste of time. And just because I see it every day doesn’t mean I have to accept it.

    @Enigma – i soooo agree with you. Desperation is such a turn off. And don’t even get me started with the “princess syndrome”. Nothing annoys me more than when some pot emails me and calls me princess…i’m not five and going to my cinderella birthday party. haha. gross.

  74. Rachel says:

    New avatar! YAY

  75. Honey says:

    OMG gosh, good board topics today!! Have to go to pilates,then I am coming back to lurk and read…!!!good soapy stuff!!!

  76. RC msb says:

    Michael Alleycat,

    Ahh a coded message to the non-flakes! Second level thinking. I like it.

  77. Rachel says:

    Ok I haven’t read anything past Christy Lee’s posting… so my advice may have already been said, but, I felt compelled to give my 2 cents.

    @Christy – First of all, I am TERRIBLY sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately there are horror stories like this and WORSE. First and foremost please, Please, PLEASE be careful. You are new to the sugarbowl and people WILL prey on you. You are out money because of not having been “trained” in the sugar ways, but, you ARE lucky, both you and your friend that it was just money. Your safety is what concerns me most!
    Please use dirtsearch.org as well as blackbookonline.info to research POT’s… it will help you significantly. there are a TON of free searches you can do to verify people are who they say they are, etc. Furthermore, if a POT or even an long time SD asks me to travel to him… I NEVER pay myself. My rules are, they pay for the airfare (NONREFUNDABLE AIRFARE) and put it in MY name, then email me the itinerary. I then call the airline to verify and if it’s a refundable ticket, I request to switch it to a nonrefundable (so you don’t get stuck in some random town). He is also responsible for booking my hotel room and either prepaying for i tor leaving HIS credit card info with the hotel so I’m not paying for it… and I confirm the hotel info as well. NOW… if I don’t know this person and I’m meeting the POT and he WANTS to be generous by allocating some funds for my time having spent traveling or time spent with him, I ask for what I feel is a reasonable amount of it upfront as soon as I land (or see him while there). It may seem a little transaction like, but it’s not, it’s moreso showing “good faith,” that he is real and not wasting your time… I mean, you’re not asking for ALL of it upfront, just what you FEEL is adequate in case nothing happens ie you don’t click and you feel that an arrangement may not work for you(which if this happens, I ALWAYS give back the money less approx $100-$200 just to make sure I’m not in the red for the trip (food during travel etc).

    I hope this helps you. If you ever need advice, please feel free to let us know. We are all here for you!

  78. RC msb – good point, but it is more aimed at those SBs who are sick of flakes themselves. But maybe I fall into the category of not knowing I’m a flake … hmmm

  79. RC msb says:

    I do have one comment Michael. And it’s not even indigenous to just your profile, in fact I’ve seen this statement on many profiles in one form of another…

    “PLEASE don’t be a flake.”

    Simple, direct, to the point and most likely useless.

    You see I envision one of two scenarios. The most likely one is that most flakes are not aware they are flakes. You see, I find it hard to imagine the majority of flakes get up in the morning believing they are flakes. In fact I suspect they see everyone else as flakes. When they read your warning they will most likely think: “good, I hate flakes”.

    The other scenario is even worse, they are self-aware flakes. They know they are flakes and they are proud. When they see your warning they will laugh maniacally and say “So, you think you can stop me with this feeble little warning eh?” They will then laugh further and plot to expose you to their full on flakiness.

    In either case I’m not sure you can convince the flakes to leave you alone. After all, their flakes. 😀

    But hey, your mileage may vary.

    Good Luck. 🙂

  80. Gail says:

    Alleycat~Beware….going home you may burn up like bacon in a frying pan!!! It’s HOT!!! you must have gone to NY to escape the weather….lol….and by the way be gentle? I will if you are gentle with others on the blog : )

  81. Morning all. Loving New York, now that it has cooled off a bit today. Back to Arizona tomorrow.

    Changed my profile, added a new photo. Comments & feedback? Be gentle with me.

  82. Enigma SD says:

    Bella — a desperate SB is a huge turn-off… probably just as much of a turn-off as an SB that has a sense of entitlement (princess syndrome). Desperate people are known to do desperate things.

  83. Gail says:

    Morning Red 🙂 I understand now….here’s your cup!!!! energize…have a beautiful day!!! I am off to work.

  84. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugars! (big yawn-not enough sleep)
    Hey Gail 😀 You’re right most of us blog regs on and off do accept her too. I wasn’t saying to used to her I was saying to used to “it” It meaning her view of the world that’s all. Hope I phrased that right

    I could sure use some coffee right about now.

  85. Gail says:

    Morning Everyone:

    I had the best cup of coffee this morning, and enjoyed reading the latest post especially this one: ) Get ready sugars….I am going to share more than I have ever had in awhile…..

    “I see a lot of “i’m down and out”, “broke”, “can’t get food stamps”, etc. etc. I can’t imagine, at least from my experience and conversations, that this is attractive to any pot SD. Maybe I’m wrong. Am I?”

    When I first joined SA I was broke, unemployed and not in a very good place in my life. Previously I was a Sr Manager and responsible for 350 people worldwide at a major corporation making six figures. If it weren’t for the SAs & SBs that have crossed my path on the blog and in real-life I don’t know where I would be. Many people have helped me along the way. Their kindness and support along the way is what I truly appreciate.

    By the way sugar friends, Finally after a year I am now in a real-life relationship with my sugar-daddy. He is the one who was very sick, but now is much better and recently just became a millionaire. He took me to meet his parents for the first time which went quite well. By the way we are both 52 years young!!!!

    Red Maru~It’s not that I am “used to” Lisa…its more that I accept her unconditionally as my sugar sister. As Midwest explanied here is alot more to all sugars that post on this blog.

    By the way Lisa….I can’t imagine drinking the coffee from anythings digestive track…yuk!!!!

    Midwest: I am so happy for you and your accomplishments!!!! and a fella too!!! We are blessed : )

    Greetings Beach, Cleo, & SG2. Have a great sugar day everyone!!!!

  86. SouthernGent2 says:

    Sparkling Cleo – nice feet and heels.

    Christy Lee – that is one terrible story. Sorry that happened to you. I realize you don’t want to hear this, but that offer was so absurd. It just doesn’t happen, and indeed is too good to be true.

  87. Beach_Girl says:

    Hi Kitten! Hope you have a great day

    Have a great day Sugars

  88. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Hi Kitten!

  89. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Good morning sugars!

    To those who are new to the blog:
    Please don’t judge when you don’t understand the background…you’re making assumptions based on limited information. I’m sure you would appreciate the same courtesy. We are here to support each other.

    Bella –
    “As a female with my own business and satisfactory quality of life I guess I have just had different experiences when it comes to having a great SD relationship. I’m not desperate and definitely not on here looking for a man to feed my way. I think because of it I have had amazing and fulfilling experiences with my SD suitors.”

    I have had a professional career up until November and have been very successful in the sugar bowl until I opted for love. I’m in school full (+) time to finish my degree in December. I had a former pot SD (still friend) asking me for feedback on his business ideas. He knows my situation and goals and admires my perseverance. My former SDs will always be great friends and have been very supportive. I believe in taking care of myself and have done quite well under the circumstances. I don’t need to justify myself to anyone, but felt you misjudged. I hope you never find yourself in those shoes regardless of how well you plan.

    On a good note: A lifelong goal is ohhh-so-close!

  90. MsCyn*642427* says:

    Bella — I work entirely freelance. I am a partial partner in one business, own another, and on top of being in my last semester of college. I am VERY successful with what I do, but not necessarily monetarily. (I actually just wrapped an interview last week about what I do because most people do it as a hobby.)

    My life is “feast or famine,” and I’m very fortunate that in this economy that I haven’t been on, nor needed to apply for, unemployment or any other form of government subsidy until this point. My situation is fluid and constantly changing, so I may not even need the help by the end of the month.

    I’ve yet to speak to a pot SD that disapproved of the fact that I wasn’t “unbelievably wealthy”–in fact, most are more concerning with whether or not I’m a real person, if we have the same beliefs/values, and whether what we’re looking for in a relationship is compatible.

  91. RedMaru says:

    Toni and Bella Welcome 😀 from another caramel baby in ATL a tad bit hot down here. The SD pool is kinda slim I must admit specially for my locality. I’m trying another site. Getting hits but cant access majority of emails unless I upgrade and dont know if these guys are real….
    Oluchi I like that btw.. As far as Lisa goes like family we’ve gotten used to it

  92. Toni says:

    To be honest I rather do it IRL than online, too many horror stories on this site esp for WOCs. I go to the city often, I guess I should look into attending my social activities of course it’ll be hard to tell the ones that just want a pretty woman and one who wants to be a generous “daddy” in the city

  93. BellaSavantNYC says:

    Hi Toni!! I live in Manhattan so the generous men are abound! haha. I’m not one to really go hunting but I engage in many social activities that surround me with the kind of people and yes generous men that I like to be around. I joined SA on a recommendation. I will be honest in saying that the pool on this site (that I have seen thus far) isn’t all that exciting.

    I’ve had the general tacky emails and I have had some very sweet and welcoming ones (usually from gentlemen I unfortunately know I will have no chemistry with). My profile is very extensive and quite direct so the pot that I have met thus far have been good experiences.

  94. Toni says:

    Bella Im in NY too (Westchester) and caramel..well more Oluchi color, where do you meet your generous men?

  95. BellaSavantNYC says:

    I have a question: I see a lot of “i’m down and out”, “broke”, “can’t get food stamps”, etc. etc. I can’t imagine, at least from my experience and conversations, that this is attractive to any pot SD. Maybe I’m wrong. Am I?

    As a female with my own business and satisfactory quality of life I guess I have just had different experiences when it comes to having a great SD relationship. I’m not desperate and definitely not on here looking for a man to feed my way. I think because of it I have had amazing and fulfilling experiences with my SD suitors.

    Just some thoughts shared….

  96. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!
    Cleo~ Seems like an Awesome time, Wish I could of been there. Those shoes are hot!!!

    Hi everyone, welcome to the newbies 😀

  97. BellaSavantNYC says:

    Thanks for the warm welcome all!

    @ RC i got some ginzus of my own…haha

    @ Lisa i’ve sat here and read through this entire blog and i’m wondering do you EVER wake up with anything POSITIVE to say? ever read THE SECRET. yeesh. sorry not trying to be mean but all you do is exude negative statements and energy it’s no wonder your world as you put it sucks.

    @ Honey – been reading some of your comments… being a sexy caramel cookie myself i have to say i have had no problems with SDs being attracted to me. i think like all things everyone has different tastes. personally i prefer men of European backgrounds and international flair.

    I’m liking all the reading ladies and gents…makes for an entertaining nightcap when i’m not having a real one of my own..haha

  98. RC msb says:

    “hack the Visa computer to get your credit card limit doubled and your rate halved.”

    That was the setup….

    And this is the punch line….

    “Wait a minute, that last one might have been from another site”

    Bada Bing, Bada Boom.

    And the crowd goes wild…..

    Or not.

  99. RC msb says:

    Hey Toni,

    Lisa has been here longer than any of us, don’t expect her to change. I actually quite like Lisa – which you may not be able to tell from tonight – but misunderstandings happen.

    I’m glad you stuck around. There is much to learn here, I know I have learned a lot. And we have some real real good people here. Once in awhile you will need to take a breath, but that’s true everywhere, yes?

    Feel free to ask any questions you like, enjoy the show, and watch out for the bear traps.

  100. Toni says:

    ‘hack the Visa computer to get your credit card limit doubled and your rate halved” I dont understand?

  101. Toni says:


    Thanks for the welcome. lol I didnt mean for that to be my first comment here bbut it’s like Im reading the blog and gaining so much info and it’s being ruined by constant whining by the same person. It’s ridiculous, wish there was a way to block her posts alas I cant so I’ll just try to skip over. Hello hello. 🙂

  102. PDX SB says:

    Hi all! Any sugars in Long Island, NY the 21st to the 24th? I am considering traveling to meet an SD. Have never been to NY before…

  103. MsCyn*642427* says:

    Midwest — Same here. The minute I can start getting some sugar I’m going to get my ish (more) together: pay things off, fix/replace things, and put some aside for a “sugar-less” day. My SD will be a “hand up,” not a “hand out.”

  104. RC msb says:

    Stunning Cleo,

    I started my business with credit cards as well. They didn’t really do a good job of keeping track back then. I had way too many cards. Like 19.

    But… It all worked out. I just have two now,and nary a balance ever. I was even offered an AMEX Centurion card last year. Ooooooohhhh The legendary Black Card. That was tempting but I turned it down.

    It’s good to be out of debt. 🙂

  105. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Christy – I echo the sentiments of others and I’m sure looking back you see all the red flags you two missed before. Be glad you two are home safe and that this didn’t turn out worse than it already has. You can google SD blacklist sites and may find SBs with personal blogs have their own lists. I’d even gamble that if you were to share a profile name with his location, someone may go ahead and list him for you. You can report him to SA through the SA customer service e-mail, but they also have their limitations. It’s not that you’re not being forthright. Unfortunately, it’s his word against yours and there are no winners regardless of what actions you take. In the future, listen to your instincts and don’t be so impulsive. A first date should never consist of traveling with your friend overseas on your dime for a threesome. Period.

    MsCyn – I feel your pain. We fall between the cracks as well and a broken toe is about to eat up the sugar I had saved for school. It’s ok though. I firmly believe I can get through this and am so thrilled I was smart enough to put something back. Hang in there!

    If there’s a sugar/ boating party meet in Chitown, please count me in! I can even host a small sleepover! Does a bass boat qualify for the party? 🙂 I sold the pontoon and the super yacht is in the shop.

    CardsFan – Me too! Will you share?

    Cleo – Those shoes ROCK!!!! They require no apologies or regrets 🙂

  106. rc funny you say that, i just today argued my credit card interest rate down – funny since i no longer carry a balance *dance of joy and glee and unfettered feeling betterness after seven freaking years under business startup incurred credit card debt – aka bought pilates equipment)

  107. RC msb says:

    Just a quick FYI to the new ladies. There is a posting on the upper right sidebar called “SA Blog Tips & Tricks.

    It tells you how to do all the really cool things we do such as have an avatar next to your name, link your profile to your name, or hack the Visa computer to get your credit card limit doubled and your rate halved.

    Wait a minute, that last one might have been from another site.

    Anyway it’s worth checking out, and if you don’t want to scroll up to the top you can click my name and be magically transported there.

  108. MsCyn*642427* says:

    Catch-22: Can’t get food stamps because I don’t work a minimum of 20 hrs a week, but if I worked 20 hrs a week, I wouldn’t need them. -_-”

    Christy — I’m incredibly sorry for what has happened to you and your friend. I’ve had to deal with timewasters myself (one pot SD b.s.’ed me LITERALLY all night on IM saying he’d pay my rent–lies). I now no longer do IM with a pot SD. Call me, email me, but I’m not sitting on the computer with a potential picture collector for 5 hrs! Part of being an SB is establishing boundaries for every situation. EX: I will travel for a first date, but only if the pot SD will pay for travel/accommodations and place them in my name for my safety–granted, I will fly buddy pass, freq. flyer, etc. Alternately, you can come to me, I do live in New Orleans.

    With that being said, Karma is a bitch, and I don’t doubt that he’ll get his!

  109. RedMaru says:

    Nico – Hey you! 😀 Lip gloss fetish? That’s unique I’ve heard of foot fetish, leg fetish, even stocking and high heel fetish (Even have a sugar friend with that one who I actually love indulging wink wink ) but lip gloss whoa….

  110. CardsFan SD says:

    @RC msb


    Not much help today, are we? 😉

  111. RC msb says:

    CardsFan SD,

    I’ll ship it out first thing in the morning. Should get there in 48 hours.

  112. Nico says:

    Red….I had a similar conversation with a guy. Had a lip gloss fetish *odd*. He wanted pics of me in lip gloss. I told him that I would be happy to accommodate his desires once we had agreed on an arrangement. He told me he didn’t believe in allowances and would help pay a bill every now and then. We parted ways (on the internet – never met in person) rather abruptly.

    Christy Lee – I am terribly sorry for your experience and unfortunately it was an expensive lesson to learn. A guy that wants to hook up (from the starting gate) with a 3-some is obviously not interested in anything other than a quick fix and thereby branding you if you were to go along. SD Guru and others on the blog are a fountain of information. Until I joined (a few years ago) I too was very naive to how it all worked. Stick around and ask questions….you will have your fill of answers in no time.

    Welcome 🙂

  113. Naughty Molly says:

    Hey sugars! I hope everyone is having a good week so far! 🙂

  114. CardsFan SD says:

    Looking for Friday, if anyone’s seen it, please send it my way asap…


    (hope everyone’s doing great!)

  115. RedMaru says:

    Christy Lee if you get chance check out some blogs of the SDs and SBs they are chock full of useful info and warnings and things to look out for.

    SD Guru said:
    It’s been mentioned on the blog that a man’s wealth and lifestyle may not be directly related to how willing he is to provide financially. Men who are eager to flash their toys are the ones to watch out for.
    Something I learned the hard way. One joke daddy I had a date with fit this to a “T” Rode a big SUV had a patio house showed me pictures of his other big house where his kids stayed at. Yet date was Dominos pizza and sitting at his patio house and then to find out he didnt believe in allowances he wasn’t on the site for that but wanted a “relationship” where he help was every now and then and I would come and see him on my dime

  116. Christy Lee says:

    Yep! I totally agree with you Guru, I have beat myself up enough I am still trying to get over this, its been 2 weeks since this happened. The thing that really gets me the most is to see his big smiling face on the website trying to talk up another girl and feed her this BS……I have sent a letter to customer service telling them of the incident I hope they remove him. But you know I have learnt a good lesson from this and I will not make this mistake again.

  117. SD Guru says:

    @Christy Lee

    I’m sorry to hear about your experience, and unfortunately it’s not new nor unique. There are men who will prey on the naive and inexperienced when given the opportunity. The key is to never give them that opportunity. If you haven’t done so already, please contact the site (click on “contact us” at the bottom of SA’s home page) and report him. Also, take a look at “Travel Guidelines for SB’s” in the Tips section on the right hand side of the blog.

    What could you have done differently? Let’s count the ways…

    He came across as being serious and trustworthy and initially, offered me $10,000 to spend a weekend with him and an additional $5,000 for bringing a friend.

    If he’s interested in an arrangement with you, why would he want you to bring a friend? No matter how you look at it, at $15,000 for a weekend it usually falls in the “too good to be true” category.

    We sent him the wire details and purchased our tickets.

    As a man of means, why didn’t he purchase the tickets for you? Why didn’t you wait for the funds to show up in your account before spending money on travel arrangements?

    He told us about his Ferrari, his boats, and all his other expensive toys.

    It’s been mentioned on the blog that a man’s wealth and lifestyle may not be directly related to how willing he is to provide financially. Men who are eager to flash their toys are the ones to watch out for.

    We left our country in the hopes of an agreed upon financial reward.

    Maybe you were blinded by the amount he offered and left common sense at home. Never depend on hope and always use common sense!

  118. RC msb says:

    OK let’s everybody calm down.

    Lisa, I did not mean to insult you, but I’ve seen how the politics thing has worked before. If you took my statement as curt, that was accidental.

    Toni, Welcome to the blog. Please do not attack anyone here. You have every right to disagree with them or think whatever you like, but please keep the flame throwers outside. Thanks.

    I hope you stay and enjoy the place there are some great people here.

  119. perhaps the SA warning on the front page can be changed to say to sb’s “NEVER TRAVEL ON YOUR OWN DIME and never get intimate before you are reimbursed…”

    there are fakedaddy sites and a facebook community you can post to but as far as i know reporting to SA does no good… and they could totally blacklist someone’s credit card but they don’t i think

  120. Christy Lee says:

    U live and you learn we trusted this guy to some point, we had dinner nice conversation he promise to pay and we believed him which was very stupid on our part. We were devasted to the point of tears to be honest we are really nice beautiful girls with great jobs and a good life but figured we would try this and just use our money to do some crazy shopping. I just dont want this looser to ever take advantage of another girl on this webiste ever again, I need to figure out a way to get him of this site before he hurts another innocent person. This is the whole reason for my post I want to stop him before another innocent girl gets hurt. Please forward me your ideas on how to get him off this site. He is a fake!

  121. Toni says:

    Can anyone be shocked that you cant find a sugar daddy? You’re so dramatic and boring. Gawd and Ive only been reading this blog for 2 days. *face palms*

  122. RC msb says:

    No Lisa. I don’t hate republicans, I don’t hate democrats. I do hate it when politics is brought up in a blog or discussion board where it does not belong, because it always ends badly.

    I said Please three times, but it didn’t work. You began accusing me of things that are not true and twisting words I never said.

    See what I mean?

    Politics is poison let’s please leave it out of this blog. That’s all I’m saying.

  123. Lisa says:

    Ok I will go live in Iran, Gee I thought you were a nice guy, guess you hate Rebublicans.
    I am very upset now, I guess i’ll vent by cutting my bird’s throat.

  124. RC msb says:


    Please do not bring up politics in any way shape or form on this blog.

    Please do not use this post as an excuse to bring it up AGAIN. you made your point. Please drop it.

  125. Lisa says:

    Now i’m furious. Just read on yahoo news that nobama is threatening senior citizens ss checks for august. Said they might now recieve them. Odd that the government has money for lazy welfare baby breeders but can’t pay it’s senior citizens. This will be devistating to my mom who depends on her check.

    I second RedMaru’s advice Christy, if you take the chance and travel on your dime, always ger reimbursed the minute you arrive and make sure you get your allowance first too. If not, then you should get back on the plane and go home. If you do this, you will have lost some money but you will have your self respect which is alot harder to get back when someone takes advantage of you.

  126. RedMaru says:

    First of Christy I am very sorry that this happened to you and your friend. This guy is a nutjob or something who made you pay for the flight and then just walks out. I would have asked for something up front before intimacy took place.

  127. Lisa says:

    Good afternoon everyone. I’m still feeling depressed about it RC msb, I mean dumpsters are so trashy, lol So glad the day was over, very tired now. One more day to go then i’ll have 2 days off.

    Christy Lee sorry to hear of you and your friend’s bad experience. Not every man on SA is a sd, many are players that just happen to have a few dollars to spend on a membership each month. Anyway I must say though that the offer came across very escort-ish rather than as an arrangement. You said that you and your friend fulfilled everything he wanted you to do and then left. The man was looking for some cheap sex, not a sb. But the fact that you traveled somewhere with a friend to meet a guy to perform sexual things for him (that was obviously the plan as it wasn’t exactly a meet and discuss an arrangment type of meeting) in exchange for the 10k, you presented yourself as more of an escort than a potential sb. But sometimes in life we have to have bad experiences to learn from them. And NEVER give out your bank account info to a stranger and never travel on your dime.

  128. Christy Lee says:

    Moderator’s note: The following comment has been edited to remove all personal information. Perhaps the experienced sugars can provide some insight on how to avoid this type of situation in the future.


    I joined Seeking an Arrangment.com in the hopes of meeting someone I can click with, have some mutually agreed upon fun, and in turn help me out financially.
    I met him on this site and we communicated daily for approximately a month discussing and agreeing on the arrangement before we actually met. He came across as being serious and trustworthy and initially, offered me $10,000 to spend a weekend with him and an additional $5,000 for bringing a friend. We set a date and I informed my friend who was prepared to come along. Suddenly, he cancelled as he decided that he didn’t want to pay in cash as previously agreed. I didn’t question him any further and laid the matter to rest. Two weeks later I heard from him again, this time he asked for our bank account details so that he could wire the funds along with the cost of our fights as we would be travelling from the Caribbean where we reside. We sent him the wire details and purchased our tickets.
    Naturally, we were both very nervous as this was our first arrangement of this type and we had traveled outside our country to meet him. Upon meeting him we felt at ease as he seemed very normal. We ordered drinks and food and talked for a while. He told us all about his company which manufactures oil for the operation of back restaurant equipment. He told us about his Ferrari, his boats, and all his other expensive toys. He also mentioned that he was fishing earlier that day and had slight sunburn. We fulfilled everything he asked us to do and shortly after he climaxed he said that he was going to his car to get something for his sunburn and left the room never to return.
    I called him several times and sent several text messages to see if he was coming back and no reply. Needless to say, my friend and I were devastated. We were out of pocket well over $1,000 for our flights never mind that he did not complete his part of the bargain. We left our country in the hopes of an agreed upon financial reward. We were cheated and taken advantage of. I emailed him asking him to reimburse us for the flights at the very least as we had charged these to our credit cards and couldn’t afford them in the first place. I received a reply message saying that he no longer works for the company which was a deliberate lie sent by himself as he is the owner of the company and a Google search of his company will show him as that. My friend and I are both devastated and very confused as to why anyone would go to the trouble of communicating with someone for well over a month, ask for their bank details, hire a hotel room, and lure two women to fly overseas with the intention of defrauding them.
    He is a reprehensible and unscrupulous human being and all women on this site should be warned of him and of others like him. If you have any doubt about the authenticity of this blog, feel free to contact me as I have copies of all our communication.

  129. RC msb says:

    “you could tell with a newborn? holy crap that’s impressive, have you found out yet if you were right?”

    No, I couldn’t tell, I was kidding them, but they believed me for a minute which is what made it so funny.

  130. off to treat a friend in need to a mani/pedi – i love when i can be a bit nice to my friends 🙂 life got a lot better when i started renting out my studio a few hours a week …

    happy tuesday sugars!

  131. texasugah: alternately, have you noticed a difference in terms of the personal power of the men in question? are the quick fallers the ones where your personal magnetism is slightly stronger? where you are slightly more alpha than they are rather than slightly less?

    hard to put into words, do you know what i mean?

  132. rc i also thought it sounded hilarious and could not find a better way to put it to words!!! you could tell with a newborn? holy crap that’s impressive, have you found out yet if you were right?

    yeah, i can’t regret the avatar shoes, they’re so amazing – still haven’t had a chance to WEAR THEM!!!
    rachel: oh my lord that would be so fun!
    texasugah i’ve always read that men fear commitment and that women seek it, but in my experience it’s *always* been the man falling for me and bringing up lifetimes within a few weeks…. that said, i know a lot of women who are with men for years and he still doesn’t bring up marriage…

    so i guess there’s two kinds of women for that or something? maybe since we are actively NOT asking for it we’re getting it offered a lot more? i really don’t know hey, just throwing my observations out there…

  133. Texasugah says:

    Hey all.. Yay I’m on a break at a conference in San An.

    Thanks a lot on the blog I haven’t updated it an a while. I need to do another letter to my lover. Problem is that I have clued the inspiration of the letters into the posting and he’s reading the rest of the blog as well. Sigh.

    Ok speaking of blogs.. is there one that is geared toward women who already have sugars. It would be nice to just talk about what special things you’re doing with your sugar through threads.. travel ideas, sexy clothing shops, wishlists.. something like that. Blog gods…

    @Red.. I’m on that site. And I upgraded. I don’t mind taking part of my sugar and putting it back into more sugar. Its an investment I think.. and with the numbers in the bowl and temporary nature of the relationship, you just have to keep diversifying and keeping things fresh. Truly for every 10 guys I talk to one might start to pan out and then.. I take off.

    Ok so… here’s the deal with me.. I always get the “wanna wife-y types.” Totally want to own me. I get.., oh I don’t want to fall in love..no falling in love.. I’m married but unhappy and then.. can you relocate? Is there something going on with guys now.. anyone else find that as well??

  134. RC msb says:

    I pay almost zero attention in what’s in a profile until we actually start communicating.

    A. People have no idea what they want and end the end they often wind up with the exact opposite of what they ‘said’ they wanted.

    B. You have no idea what a person will type into a profile at 3:00 AM when they are lonely and can’t sleep.

    C. You can not know for sure until you open actual lines of communication.

    D. Everyone’s worth at least 5 minutes of chit chat. Until then you can never be sure.

    Once you are talking with someone, then you can use their profile as a template to determine what they ‘actually’ want.

    Good Luck!

  135. Rachel says:

    @ CLEO… boating is a blast… If i ever get an invite to the Chicago event, I will definitely invite some blog SB’s for a mini SB Vacation! 🙂

  136. RedMaru says:

    Hey sugars!

    Ney Nico – If you’re still here Miss ya 😀

    Texasugah – I love your blog too. I actually have a blog myself, though its about something else. I’m tempted to set one up about my sugar journey and its pitfalls(the saccharin) along the way and my efforts to keep it separate from my reg life.

    Onto the meat some advice sugars – I’m on this other site(sugarbaby4you) and can we just say double edged sword? Yeah I’m getting hits. I’ve gotten about six emails but four out of six, I CANT read em until I pay to upgrade what kind of CRAP is that?

    Anywhoo, one of the emails I can read, I hate to say but I’m not sure we’re gonna click (whoa I’m the one rejecting here that’s a first) because in his profile he’s looking for a serious relationship and that’s not what I really want at the moment. If it develops into that hey great. And I make very clear in my profile what I want(SD/SB mutually beneficial) If I wanted a relationship I wouldn’t be on a SD/SB website now would I? So I don’t want to be rude and say “hey can’t you read my profile so how I should go about this just not answer and hope he gets the idea?
    Advice sugar fam!

  137. RC msb says:

    Cougarlicious – You will *never* be out of place here. We enjoy every visit.

    Sparkling Cleo – Those are come kickin shoes! Just consider it a good investment.

    It’s good for things like this to happen from time to time to restore the soul.

    I know, I know, I’m sure your gaydar is first rate, it just sounded so funny when you said that. 😀

    You’ll like this story… Once a friend of mine and his wife had their first child, a son. After coming over to visit, they brought out the newborn child and handed him to me. After looking at him closely for a few seconds I looked up and said….”Wow!, he’s gay”.

    Funniest expressions you ever saw.

    Nico – Good to hear.

    Texasugah, Wow, the blog looks great!

  138. Texasugah says:

    Howdy sweethearts!!!

    Thank you for the comments on my blog. You know there was a link to my blog here. http://texasugah12.posterous.com
    I have retooled my blog to marker myself. I have gotten the idea from some ladies that are escorts. I have have men contact me about being a sugar just from my blog. When the sites don’t work.. create opportunity.

    RMC thanks for the comment. I’m also on [email protected]

    PB – sweetheart you’re going to have to move forward. It’s always been this way for minorities. You have to be twice as good. Get a clever profile, send out winks and do your thing. I felt the same way last year. Now I have so much going on, I can’t keep up with it.

    @pallas – I completely agree The vast majority of readers and posters here have absolutely no idea of what we’re talking about. If you perceive that there’s something wrong, people will treat you that way. Positive

    Pallas, PB please feel free to email me.. you to Honey dear heart.. Texasugah at the y spot.. not the gspot. Oh cheesy sex humor

    Kisses sweethearts!!

  139. Nico says:

    Yeah!!! The update to my post….prev SD is still in the hospital but getting his sense of humor back. Upset he didn’t get a hottie nurse to give him his sponge bath.

    Thank you all of you who provided supportive thoughts and kinds words XO

  140. oh dear i want to edit that comment a lot…

    okay rc: it renewed a TON of my faith that had gotten a LITTLE ragged

    and i mean that i think keeping the faith in people’s essential good nature is literally the only way to live (i learned this especially from a challenge a lady once presented me – “for the next week? no matter WHAT happens? remember that it’s not about you” ‘what if …’ “no, NOTHING is about you” – i try to redo that every time i think of it – so now 🙂
    Rachel: that party in chicago and the others you mention all immediately now sound awesome to me

    YOU should go to pottahawk because you would love it.

    there, that’s what i meant! lol

  141. RC: i’ve changed my gravatar so you can see them (my actual feet at the actual store… same with my last one) but yeah, i don’t get it either… it spoils what went before. in fact anytime men make me promises lately i cringe (so many promises that now when i get one it feels like a threat…) because somehow i know they won’t do it and i’ll be left yearning for things i never would have asked for or thought of at all…

    i’m so glad that i went as well, i’ve been feeling a bit kicked lately and felt like i was having a really hard time maintaining my sunny good humour. that energy feast from last weekend will sustain me for a really long time… hard to explain but it renewed a little of my ragged faith in people’s essential good nature (literally the hardest and most valuable thing i work on in my soul i think)

    anyway it was so amazing, if you ever get invitged to a boat party like that you should totally go.

    (dude, you know who i mean, the guys who lived in the closet their whole lives but found each other anyway… i used to live smack in the middle of the “gay village” in toronto – in fact i was the super of a small building for a while… anyway i had the worst gaydar before that but now? i’m pretty damn good! lol)
    rachel: i am the most open minded person i know, people often tell me that they feel safe telling me things because they know i won’t judge… but thanks for noticing *grin*

    well if you’re a boater let me tell you, go to pottahawk that party sounds awesome… and um, if you do the chicago one? INVITE ME????!!!!

    i was the other kind of water baby – northern ontario “camp” (seriously, an A frame and an outhouse) and a little 65 on a little speedboat to haul in supplies, explore the huge lake and waterski with 🙂 – totally comfortable on and in the water but don’t know anything about “being a boater” make sense?
    midwest: if i am ever invited again i will TOTALLY see if i can bring you, you would fit in to the vibe absolutely perfectly (bet you’d pick up empties too… lol)

  142. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Welcome BellaSavant and Tanya! Nice to hear from you!

    Nico – update please.

    RC msb / Guru – Thanks! I wasn’t crazy about how that feature worked either.

    Gooooooood morning sugars! I feel so out of place without any sugar adventures to speak of!

    Cleo – your weekend sounded like a GREAT time! I’d be all over that!

    Stephan – Where are you sweets?

  143. RC msb says:

    Honey – I love reading your stuff. By the way, confidence is metal-flake burgundy – Or maybe not, maybe it’s different for each of us. 🙂

    The Spectacular LL Cool Babe – I am so glad that BN2LLCB week started off well. I do hope it continues.

    If they ever find a porn-star who can act, she’ll be bigger than Elvis.

    Lisa, – Thanks. To bad about the dumpster thing.

    Nico – I hope all is going well with your friend.

    Waves to all – Good morning everyone!

  144. RC msb says:

    SD Guru- Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

  145. Pallas says:

    @Honey I like your thoughts on the matter. Also you’re right, I’ve never considered it an issue/burden and so it’s never been an issue for me. But I agree we can lay the discussion to rest, esp on this forum–keep it positive 😀

  146. Honey says:

    I can’t really say too much more on the color line also. I am dense and obtuse when it comes to other people opinions on race(I’ll talk freely off the board, but this is a sugar bowl not a color bowl.) Melange is my facebook page (is it against the bylaws to post that?)
    I’m a student of history, fashion history too. One day it’s Twiggy and kate moss, the next it’s Marilyn and anna nicole.It’s not real life. And has nothing to do with you or me. Break all the mirrors in your house except for one, look in it and tell yourself how pretty and smart you are. How worthy and deserving. Find yourself, be yourself, it’s the person you will be spending the most time with.
    Some stupid, dumb, racist people TRIED to tell me that I wasn’t special.
    I didn’t believe it, something must have been wrong with them, or something. Brush it off. Confidence is the best color.What color IS confidence?
    I don’t find being of color a burden…Lift every voice and sing…jazz, hip hop, Motown….
    don’t believe the hype…I wish I could hold a seminar…it’s to deep to go into here…
    On another note, I was walking down the street when someone in a suv honked and said hey. I was talking on the phone to my girlfriend and the suv pulled over into the parking lot where I was headed. He asked if I remembered him and I did, vaguely.. Turns out he had given me a ride about two years ago. He’s a manager at a local eatery and he remembered my name and said he was going t o greece and he hoped he could see me before he left.. So sweet and he was white(greek) and I am black…color never came up. I must be so memorable..Dark lil honeychilde in the wild…

  147. SD Guru says:

    Re: Reply feature

    When you use the “reply” feature to reply to a comment, your comment will show up immediately below the comment you’re replying to in a nested box. Therefore not all comments are shown in chronological order. To have your comment show up at the bottom of the page you should always use the reply box at the bottom. Seeing that the reply feature is causing some disturbance in the sugar vibe, it has been disabled to restore balance. 🙂

  148. LL Cool Babe says:

    Thx RC & Lisa! My “be nice to Cool Babe” week has started great…the jack-hammering they’ve been doing on the brickwork of my building for the last 3 weeks has finally concluded so instead of waking up at 8:30 to deafening drilling right in the ear I slept in until 1 pm AND just after I started cleaning the five inches of cement dust left all over the balcony the contractors came by and cleaned it all up for me…talk about pampered and spoiled!

    Let’s hope tomorrow brings the same happiness. 😀

  149. Pallas says:

    @Sylvia Khalan I hear you, and I also understand PB’s concern. It’s weird isn’t it? I just accept that I often have to email first. Remember different body types, shapes, and sizes and colors come in and out of fashion at different points in history for different reasons.

    Here talking about Europeans, these are things I’ve read and completely forgotten the source: being pale used to be a status symbol in European upper class bc it meant you didnt have to work outside, farming etc

    Then being tan came into vogue at some point because it meant that you had the cash to go off to an exotic locale while the former field laborers where trapped in their low paying office-ish jobs (indoors).

    Nigeria had (maybe still has) fattening rooms that you would use before your wedding (don’t want a bony-looking wife, that means you obv aren’t able to put food on table). A far cry from bridezilla madness pre-wedding crash dieting

    To each his own. Healthy is always in style. And have a sense of humor about it. I for instance, appreciate my almost alek wek like skin tone (I wish I were that dark) because, let’s be serious, the hole in the ozone layer is not getting any smaller

    @pb Look at it as a game of odds (there’s a great post on this approach elsewhere on the blog) because you’re right many guys “don’t like black girls” and therefore won’t email them, only to meet one that they like. Chin up darling. And write a clever profile

  150. Pallas says:

    damnit, okay here goes nothing. I’m a bit hesitant to re-post because they cover the contentious race issue (though I think a lot of the reason I’m here is to learn about it in a controlled way.. bc my relationships IRL deal with this issue, but in ways that are less easy to block user/delete, haha):

    @pb you probably are a beautiful woman. Just think of it this way, they make blanket judgments because they probably don’t know a black woman, or they do and they’ve extrapolated their opinion of her to all black women (in which case, they are probably too stupid to date).

    My first ex-pot SD (stated in his profile that he was seeking a “SWF”). Aside from that, I liked his profile and I contacted him anyway [I am very dark, even for a black person ], and we hit it off, exchanged pictures, and began communicating back and forth. (fyi he is “ex” bc all he wants to do is webcam which I am not into…or maybe i cut it off too soon to find out what he wanted…we’ll never know). He did pay me to sit in a non-revealing dress with my head out of the frame (my own excessively prude terms, but i digress).

    I got annoyed with the constant webcam requests, and at one point I asked flat out “dude, your profile says SWF, what good is a picture of me (to him)”. ** The key is to have a sense of humor about it, which I do.** I was stalling.. I followed that question up with “just out of curiosity, you don’t have to answer that question. In fact, you probably shouldn’t answer that question. Google John Mayer Playboy Interview to see the kind of mess an answer to that question can get you into”. His response was “hot is hot, I just wrote that”. John Mayer also has his list of black girls he likes in spite of David Duke living between his legs.

    My point is, think of it this way: “true love (okay maybe it’s not love that we’re looking for here) is the complete victory of the particular over the general, and the unconditional over the conditional”. i.e. Ignore blanket statements like “in general, I don’t like black girls”. Focus on what it is about YOU (the particular) that is attractive.

    Odds are, there is plenty about you that is attractive. But be careful, or else (as in my case) you might have to pull his own racial preference card for him just to get rid of him

  151. RC msb says:

    Pallas everyone who is scrolling to the bottom, which may be most of us is missing your reply’s. I tried following them for a while but it’s too disjointing because of how it drags you around the page. It also does not mark replies in any way, so half the time you’re not sure what to read.

  152. RC msb says:

    Yes Nico but the other option is to be drug all over the page and being dumped in such a way that you can’t tell where you’re at or what you should be reading. The reply function is just a mess.

  153. Pallas says:

    Should I just re-post if I want responses?

  154. Nico says:

    I typically go to the bottom too or search for the last post – perhaps I’ll miss a ‘reply’ because I did this….hmmm.

  155. RC msb says:

    Thanks Honey. I’m sure that many others are skipping past all the reply posts.

    It’s a shame for the people who are writing posts that aren’t being read. But oh well. Using the reply feature just makes it all too messy.

  156. Honey says:

    Good afternoon everyone, Rc..
    I always scroll to the bottom, found that out months ago. Welcome to the dark side….Mwah mwah mwah.. Happy Monday!

    • Pallas says:

      Hi Honey, I would love your opinion on what I’ve shared about brown sugar experiences. Please make an exception and take a look, they’re further up in the page I know. I’ll look for the response down here 🙂

  157. Lisa says:

    Sorry you are having a bad day RC msb, I am a little upset now too as the new management of my apartments are replacing the large individual roughkneck trashcans (there are 4 in each enclosed in trash cubicle) with dumpsters. Yuck how ghetto, I really feel sad about this

  158. RC msb says:

    Just FYI to everyone… I am done with the Reply feature.

    I absolutely hate it I hate that people are using it. And all it does is make the blog harder to navigate.

    Now whenever I click a post on the sidebar I never know where I’m going to wind up. It may take me to the last post like it used to, or it may dump me in the middle of a three day old topic. that’s five screens up from where I wanted to go. The idea of course is to take me to a reply someone has written. OF COURSE I CAN’T TELL WHICH ONE THE REPLY IS! The replies are not marked, staggered, or distinguishable in any way from regular posts. And of course once I figure out which one is the reply I have to reread the original post so I know what’s going on. OH JOY!

    But no more. I will no longer be using the sidebar links because they can no longer be trusted.They used to take me to the bottom of the page, now I’m never sure where they will drop me.

    From now on I will simply speed scroll straight to the bottom of the page. If you choose to reply to an older post, I for one will not be reading it.

    If they ever fix this feature I’ll be delighted, but for now it’s just aggravating and mostly useless.

    • Pallas says:

      I agree (though appreciate the irony that I am posting this comment via the Reply feature). There are easier ways to navigate, it would be nice if the SA blog had a forum feature where users could post topics and others could reply to threads. I do browser searches for the date to see recent posts

  159. Lisa says:

    Pallas, I absolutely love London. Had the opportunity to go there 4 times in my life, last time was probably the last time, 2003. Wonderful walkable city with great transportation.

  160. Lisa says:

    Good evening everyone. Another scorcher. MsCyn we have a light rail here but it’s only one line that runs on main street downtown. No use for it for me except for the rare occasion that I go to a museum and that is only when Bodywords comes, I’ve seen 2 of them. They keep trying to expand the rail but Houston residents hate public transportation and always fight to stop it expanding. I would love to see a communter line that runs down I-10 which I live a couple blocks from that would connect with the Galleria but that will never happen. We got this rain in 2004 and have not went further since. I love walking and my neighborhood is a great walking neighborhood but the darn heat makes it impossible until late fall.

    Oh yes it’s “be nice to Cool Babe” week. Hope your week is getting off to a great start.

  161. Pallas says:

    I’ve been lurking and have posted a few epic posts somewhere in the mix, but I just wanted to officially say hello to all the regulars. London based (though I hail from the greatest nation on earth, yeah!)*. To the SBs, thanks for sharing your experience as it helps me to understand mine and to the SDs, it’s always great to hear perspectives from the other side of the fence, so thank you as well!

    *living abroad can lead to both acceptance of other cultures and/or apoplectic nationalism

  162. MsCyn*642427* says:

    RedMaru–I wait until there’s a pile of messages and then I do a trial if they have one.

    Honey–What does he like? What can you give him that he can’t buy?

    That makes for a 3rd pot SD! He’s does video games which is so cool cause that’s something I do too. And he’s in Toronto, so maybe I’ll finally get a stamp on my passport!!!

  163. Rachel says:

    CLEO – I’ve been a boater my whole life and you just got the full boating experience! Loooool! Parties in SG Harbor, Block Island, etc. Thonly one I havent done is the Chicago one…. I so want to go! glad u had fun as well as an open mind! 🙂

  164. RC msb says:

    Afternoon Cool Babe. I hope you noticed it’s “Be nice to LL Cool Babe Week”

  165. RC msb says:

    Sparkling Cleo, I’ve never understood why anyone would want your last memory of them to be how they ripped you off. At least they were really nice shoes. 🙂

    It sounds like a wonderful, wonderful time and I’m so glad you had it. And of course next year you’ll be even better at it.

    I’m so glad you went and such a good and interesting time. Memories like those don’t fade easily.

    ” – not overt but the signs are there if you know how to look –” Really!? SNARF!!!!! 😀

  166. LL Cool Babe says:

    Good afternoon sugars 😀

  167. RC msb: that’s a lot better than the SD who left me with a nice parting gift “oh honey, go buy your shoes…” (which he had said and reimbursed me for in the past so it wasn’t weird to me) and then he pulled the fade and stuck me with the bill. i might have bought my shoes anyway but getting a woman whose budget is lean to buy a high ticket item she can’t return and then stiffing her with the bill? pretty much the opposite of your sweetheart…!

    and so utterly classless, even if he was done with me he should have sent that money, it’s just mean.

    but good riddance i guess, i mean i prefer to have people in my life that actually *want* to be there… [and i do love the shoes…]
    man you would NOT believe how crazy this shindig was. thousands of people walking in water (i’ve seen less crowded mosh pits than some parts of the walk) between two and six feet deep, floating on rafts of literally EVERY description from one seater to ten, sitting on their boats (tugs, go fast boats, old wooden boats, 93 foot long crewed cruisers (COVERED in dancers,) float planes, barges, sea do’s etc) and hosting the walkers, sharing what they had to share, taking care of each other, bussing the lake (i picked up at least a case of empties from the bottom…) having sex between boats, showing their boobs for mardi gras beads, tables and barbecues in the middle of the lake, necking/dancing with strangers, lost things (oh tory burch sunglasses please forgive me for foolishly wearing expensive shades to a LAKE PARTY!!! i shall miss you cute sunglasses i lost in the lake FIVE minutes before i got back in our boat to head home…), found things, friendly cops, wigs, masks, elvis in lame walking IN the water (!!!), dogs in life jackets… and so on.

    i walked from one end to the other in my wandering way and now have a bit of a sunburn, a bunch of new friends and the memory of walking for SEVEN HOURS to see it all… and knowing i missed much! i overgeard someone say “you can’t stress out in this” and you can’t. i smiled until halfway through my drive home today!

    i didn’t prepare for the walk properly so i was utterly dependent on the kindness of strangers for hmm… the last five hours? i never lacked for water or drinks when i wanted them. when i asked to use someone’s dry shade [started shivering after three hours with my lower half in the water and my top half in the sun – shivering in 30 degree weather is bad news if you don’t deal] i was invited aboard, fed two drinks, offered food, handed two water bottles “and one for the road (drink too)” offered a hat or a waterproof bag if i wanted and waved away with “come get another drink on your way back!” this happened anywhere i stopped long enough to say hi to varying degrees based only on THEIR availability of supplies (like, sorry, we ran out of mix, want some ice…?)

    one funny thing, if you had an empty bottle/can and you went to dump it in someone’s boat or can raft or whatever they would get pissed at you UNTIL you said “i picked it up out of the lake” and then they would thank you for being a good friend to a beautiful place. i mean really, isn’t it the same thing in the end?

    seriously, great gathering, go if anyone ever invites you 🙂
    funniest thing i saw all day? i was sitting on the swim platform of a boat that was rafted to another boat (some of these “rafts” were 20 boats wide) which had a man hanging over the side and er… relieving himself of anything he had eaten or drunk in the last year…

    i couldn’t see him or hear him, he was just there… anyway we’re chatting and hanging out and whatever and this guy comes running up, poses against the boat barfing guy is laying over the side of and says “make sure you get us both in the picture” and proceeds to get his souvenir photo.

    i was dying… he was so cute (picture white haired, slightly chubby gay man and his taller partner – not overt but the signs are there if you know how to look – utterly adorable coouple) and his partner was like making the funniest face like “oh you…” but with a cute smile as he took a few snaps.

    i have to go back next year!

  168. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugars
    Rachel got fingers crossed for ya! I wish I could get a hit and stop having these misses….grrrr
    Checking out the local pickings is so discouraging… Even checked out another site. Got more hits but I have to PAY just to read an email a SD sent me

  169. RC msb says:

    Honey, I have no suggestions as to what your SD might like, but I do know a technique for figuring such things out…

    What would you get him if you had no money to spend?

    Would you knit something?, draw something?, take a photo of yourself?, or maybe a video. Would you write him a poem?, paint him a picture? or do some special favor for him?

    What would you do?

    Now….. What if you had just $50 to spend? Then what? What could you do with all of your creativity and $50? What ideas were just out of reach at free?

    Then $100, then $200. You get the drill. It’s a useful mental exercise and always helps me.

  170. Honey says:

    Ok, SD birthday coming up…what should I get him?under $200 please….

  171. TaanyaBabyy says:

    Hello to all SB’S AND SD’S! I am new to this site and and a frequent visitor to this blog. You all seem very knowledgeable therefore I would appreciate your advice about Upgrading my membership. I’m only 18, but I know that being a SB is what I want to do, so my question is should I take the plunge and upgrade or wait it out a little bit longer. I’ve already gotten several profile views and e-mails but still haven’t found the right SD. I think upgrading will increase my chances of finding a real SD, think upgrading will help?

  172. Rachel says:

    Good Morning sugar world! I was a lazy SB this m and hit the snooze button not once but TWICE (OOOH NOOO), thankfully the aroma of coffee woke me to get me up and about and into my office where I have been slaving away at my computer for hours now.

    I just wanted to pop in and say good morning all, hope you are all doing well and I’ll cross my fingers for all of you to find the POT that becomes the SB/SD… so long as you cross your finders for me! 🙂

  173. RC msb says:

    Hello BellaSavantNYC, good to have you with us. Pay no attention to the rotating knives.

  174. Gail says:

    Morning sugars….Wishing everyone a wonderful day.

    Welcome BellaSavantNYC and MsCyn : )

    Lisa~will check in on you later. My coffee has kicked in. It’s Monday…time to do what I do!!!

  175. Michael Alleycat says:

    My most disliked word in someone’s profile? Princess. Ugh.

    My favorite quote from a profile “I am looking for someone who shares my outlook on the world… that it revolves around me 😉 lol”

    At least she was honest!

  176. BellaSavantNYC says:

    Hello SugarWorld!! I’m new to the blogs but have enjoyed reading them so much that I thought I would make my first post and introduce myself.

    I love seeing that both SDs and SBs contribute with their experiences and more. Looking forward to being an active member…when time permits of course! 🙂


  177. MsCyn*642427* says:

    Lisa–I love Houston, but it’s one of those “I love to visit, not stay” things. They should do like Dallas and invest in a light rail system. We have the streetcars here, but they only go around the downtown area really.

    I only do cabs at night when the buses don’t run or if I’m in a rush, and then I have to add it into my budget. Other than that, I walk, take public transit, and/or ride share. Everyone tells me I’m incredibly mobile for someone without a car. I’m thinking about getting a moped, but having to get a regular license and then a motorcycle endorsement is going to drive me crazy.

    I’m looking at moving either downtown or into a very specific are of the burbs I live in now in the future that’s more ‘walkable.’

  178. Lisa says:

    Houston is so spread out and I live in a great area thanks to a past SD but it seems like guys never want to meet in the area or want to meet somewhere there is no bus service. There is so much in my area, but half the people that claim to live in Houston proper, actually live in the burbs and want to meet somewhere half way, Houston has no transportation to the burbs, other than those weekday park and rides where you park your car in a parking lot and board the bus, somewhere in the middle of nowwhere but men here are like that, not having a car in Houston is like having the plague it seems. I only take the bus to work and other than that, I walk, heck the mall is across the street, restaraunts, the hospital is visible from my bedroom window and there is a track at the school behind my apartment were I like to walk laps. Taxis are out of my budget and take forever to come (you have to call them here as they are not lingering around, even at the new hotel across the street, I never see any taxis, everyone rents a car when traveling here. Anyway I don’t care about a car, I live in great neighborhood for the past year and it’s the only really great thing about my life at this time.

    Ok time for lights out, 6 oclock comes too early.

  179. MsCyn*642427* says:

    RC–No prob. I’ve been reading past blogs that caught my fancy, and only came across 1-2 Domme girls like me. Granted, the Domme side of things makes up for about 1/4 of what I do, but the social aspect behind it is something that I love. (Member of a local group here that’s awesome.)

    I honestly haven’t looked myself, but I’m so used to being “just another Domme,” that possibly being something else is intriguing itself. (Steve Urwin voice over: “Now, if you just glance over by ’em bushes, thar you’ll see the elusive ‘Dominatrix.’ She’s a clevar one, dat gurl.)

  180. MsCyn*642427* says:

    Lisa–Not being able to drive has never lost me dates oddly enough, but NOLA is a lot smaller than Houston, and everybody tends to want to meet-up in the same places–French Quarter/Downtown. I just take a cab. When most guys find out, they just offer to pick me up or bring me home, and if I like them, I let them.

    Then again, I don’t date much because I’m so picky when it comes to non-SDs (90% of it is personality/attitude). It’s going to be so odd for me to go on regular dates and let someone else pay, but I find that most SDs are naturally more of what I’m looking for. (Mature and affluent with a gentleman-ly manner.)

    Oh, try Walgreen’s clinic if you can re-imagine your budget! I go there whenever my hay fever acts up and I need the antibiotics ‘like whoa.’ And if you want some side money tips/tricks, let me know. I’m an “each one, teach one” kinda gal.

  181. RC msb says:

    MsCyn, Actually when I said something about another Domme I was referring to the blog posters, not the greater SA membership. Among maybe a 100 regular posters we have a couple of Domish ladies in the mix.

    As for SA as a whole? I have no idea. I wouldn’t think there would be that many advertised as Dommes, but ! just don’t know.

    Good luck with it in any case. and feel free to visit often.

  182. MsCyn*642427* says:

    Honey–Thanks. I totally agree about the post you made on ‘color,’ but in regards to everything, not necessarily just skin tone.

    RC–I’ve been having decent luck so far as I just joined a bunch of sites a few day ago. I know there’s more than enough Domme’s on SA and other sites to saturate the market, but I’m going to play this card for now, and if things don’t work out, reshuffle the deck. ^_~ I have A LOT more to offer than just the Domme or even sub thing. (I’m a very picky sub though.)

    Lisa–Your ‘no car’ escapades amuse me as I have no car myself. Never have. Out of my budget!

    I got a rather rude email back from a non-pot SD who is apparently in denial that he has a foot fetish. (If I could link to his profile, all of you would see it’s obvious–the main subject of the profile is massaging a girl’s feet, her wearing stockings/pantyhose, etc.) I hope he gets a clue soon, otherwise he’ll never have any hopes of finding a girlfriend.

    • Lisa says:

      What’s really funny is that not having a car has got me rejected by some many irl dating situations. When you tell someone you don’t have a car (it’s hard to avoid when they want to meet somewhere not on the busline, which is half of Houston), they freak out and it’s like you told them you have some disease. Then I tell them that I don’t even know how to drive and the whole conversation changes to that. I mean really who cares if someone can’t drive, what would I drive anyway, lol? I used to ask the divorced ones if their divorce was caused by the wife not driving, oddly it never was.

      Going to bed soon, have 3 dreadful days at work ahead. I’m having to work alone because the boss is working overnights to set the school supply section and my only other coworker is on vacation. so much for my arm getting any rest. It is actually not hurting much now because i’ve rested it all day but come tomorrow, i’ll be popping the advil again.

      Have a good night everyone

  183. RC msb says:

    Pallas, Don’t feel bad. It is a learning process. Nobody enters sugar fully prepared.

    In fact most people who enter the sugar world are woefully unprepared for the reality of sugar dating. I’m not implying the sugar world is bad so much as pointing out that it’s very different from conventional dating, and their are certain realities that one must learn and accept fairly quickly if you want to be successful.

    I’m not sure where most people fall, but I would say that on a ten point scale…

    with 1 thinking you are still on Match Dot com, (Clueless)…

    and 10 being 100% prepared for the world of sugar…

    Few enter sugar past a 7.

    To be honest I probably came in at a 5, however in fairness that was a much different time.

  184. Lisa says:

    Yawn, what a boring day. The rain was nice but unfortunately the sun came back out. I’m so ready for the fall. I feel like taking long walks but its way to hot. I want to carve a jack o lantern but can’t seem to find one. lol

  185. RC msb says:

    I am a bit confused. It doesn’t seem that the fact that you and the pot went to the same university had anything to do with your decision to bail. It seemed to have a lot more to do with the fact that he shared too much about his family – particularly his son and daughter attending the university. This seemed to be what brought in the creep factor.

    If that is the case I’m not sure if it’s a matter of screening backgrounds as much as setting ground rules about acceptable topics.

    At least that’s how it appears to me. Please let me know if I’m reading this wrong.

    • Pallas says:

      Nah, I left it open, and he sent an email sent the next day. But setting acceptable topic ground rules seems like a very very good idea, thanks for that. The creep factor came in when he began dwelling on the father daughter relationship (a bit tmi). He did give decent career advice. But at that point it felt more like an alum networking session (which I’ve been doing as well lately… need to get that mode of interaction out of my head!) 😛

      I think I need to change my mindset: get to know the pot, their interests, what they’re looking for. Be interesting, but leave enough unsaid that you can enjoy getting to know each other. Argh… It was my fault, I had a live one and I blew it. I should’ve started reading this blog earlier 😀

  186. Pallas says:

    Trying to figure out why my very first pot SD (met him 4 days after i joined the site, his profile was new but said he’d been on for a year or so–is this common, to join, delete, join)?

    1st red flag: claimed to be worth $100mil + ( I assume this is the equivalent of grafting your head via photoshop onto Gisele Bundchen’s body and using that as your pic).

    2nd red flag: his profile pics were fake (if I give him the benefit of the doubt, the first photo may be real–a very very attractive dark-haired guy smiling and facing another man whose back is to the camera, revealing nothing just that he’s wearing a suit and is blonde…could’ve been him, he was blonde) Going out on a limb. 😛 Out of curiosity, are you allowed to use other people’s faces without their consent?

    3rd red flag: (which later I discovered was a ‘no no’ elsewhere on this blog–the blog is great by the way!) we met on fairly short notice, sat at a hotel bar, though it was one of the nicest hotels in the city, where he’d been in a meeting earlier. Fairly sexually explicit talk, fairly soon…5 min into conversation. Sharing fantasies and asking me to do the same.

    On the other hand, his profile was fairly direct, about “fun” which I now realize is doublespeak for sex, and he did say that he was looking for someone to “take him out of his comfort zone”. I don’t think I was sexually experienced enough for him… Although I wish he’d say that rather than just silence (sent a follow up email, no response; i have his phone number but i think i should delete it). Fyi, he’s still trolling the site, and he read the email

  187. Pallas says:

    Pallas here, pleased to meet you all, I’m a new, Europe-based SB (joined SA about a week ago). I posted this on another thread but this thread is newer/more active so here we go again:

    Curiosity from a pot SB. Without flat out lying, how honest are you supposed to be about your background. I’m based in a european city, and recently met with a pot SD–the chemistry (or at least, the lust on his part) was there but he was too honest, and i was too honest, and in addition to the fact that we went to the same university :-S we talked about vacations he’s taken with his wife and his teenage kids applying to the school…and his father daughter relationship. By the end, it just felt dirty (haha if i ever saw him at an alumni function i would probably die).

    a) Should i look at guys a bit further away and screen for obvious connections? (the answer is yes obviously, but would still like the external validation of a response)
    b) how would you feel about the phrase “all in due time” in response to background questions…

    I’m posting these questions for you and/or any other SDs that come across it… Mainly, how does one dodge background questions, where is the line between coy and evasive? Answer ‘read each individual situation’. Curious about opinions, although I’m also posting to vent… Good lord, the world is too small

    • Pallas says:

      Follow up, he sent a lovely email saying how beautiful poised and intelligent I was and that I deserved to be dating someone older than me, but not twice my age–that he would feel guilty. Nice, I guess, but no amount of part time jobs will cover my tuition :O I should’ve just shut my mouth. :-S Positives, at least he didnt go AWOL, gave a reason (its not you its me). Although I can help feeling that I screwed up

  188. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Happy weekend sugars!

    Nico – Please send our warmest wishes as well…to both of you (((hugs)))

    NC Heels – Congrats on the new focus and new pay!!! It’s always good to keep sugar as a treat. I think the men appreciate it greatly and we don’t get sent into a tailspin because sugar suddenly disappeared.

    Sylvia – you are always welcome. Remember that you are walking into a room where people have “known” one another for a year or more. It can be a little awkward when you don’t have the history at first. Please stay and enjoy yourself.

    RC msb – you’re healing….congratulations

    Stephan – (((hugs))) Hope you are ok sweets!

    This weekend was another milestone for my young gentleman….he broke his first bone. He’s fine, but trying to milk it for all it’s worth 🙂

    Lisa – All I have are tree trimmers…would be way too messy! Popcorn for Percy!

    Off to do more studying…glad everyone is well!

  189. LASB says:

    Hi RC! Thanks!

    NC Heels – I can totally relate to what you’re saying. Congrats on your huge raise!! And yes, that IS a fabulous feeling. I can also relate to the zero attraction issue. I’ve met my share of genuine pots regarding the allowance, but not so genuine in their pics and physical descriptions.

  190. NC Heels says:

    Hey All-

    Hope all is well. I took a break from the sugar world earlier this year after an unsuccessful run on the website. I found there were a lot of users in my area and the very few genuine SDs did not seem viable due to lack of any attraction on my part. I am normally a careful screener, but the scarcity of SDs led me to accept behaviors I would never tolerate IRL.

    Taking a step back to focus on other things has netted me a new job with a 40% pay increase so I think there is value in small breaks, if nothing else than for sanity’s sake. SD/SB relationships can be great, but nothing beats the good feeling of knowing you can take care of yourself. I was also hit on by an 80 year old “SD.” I did not take him up on it, but I can call the retirement home any time. 😉 Untapped market?? LOL

    Enjoying reading the comments…lurking here and there.

  191. RC msb says:

    Hello LASB.

    Feel free to pull up a Chaise lounge and relax here by the pool.

  192. LASB says:

    Hey all! Just relaxing today. Dropping by to say “hello.”

  193. Honey says:

    Sylvia you are welcome here. Work on that tan!!

  194. Sylvia Khalan says:

    Good afternoon Sugars.

    Trying to jump in the mix and be accepted here.

    It’s pretty warm in St. Louis today. Going to head to the pool at the Four Seasons and flaunt my new figure while relaxing pool side, oh and catch up on my sugar pointers via book!

    Enjoy the rest of the weekend sugars!

  195. Lisa says:

    She should find a part time job in a supermarket or retail store in addition. At 40 years old, you should be working somewhere even if it’s only till you get your degree. I always thought the sds wanted a woman that had a job. None of us are 20 years old anymore and just starting out, they may be away with it. A 20 year old could be living at home, living with roomates, etc and going to school and not working but those of us in the 30-40 range would most likely be expected to be not living at home or with roomates (without we were the golden girls, lol) and be employed. It’s odd that it’s more acceptable to go to school and not work even though we are older, than it is to work very hard at a low end job like I have. Most women on the blog wouldn’t last a week at my job. We had a guy working with us that was 17 or 18 (big guy that plays high school football) and he quit a few weeks ago because the work was too hard for him. lol

    My daughter is supermotivated, goes to school 16 hours a week and works 45 hours a week. She is a straight A student and on the deans list every term. But she was born into my family which means something will go wrong. I was a straight A student too but now I couldn’t follow directions if my life depended on it. I don’t remember anything that I learned 27 years ago.

  196. Honey says:

    Nico send flowers, soon he will be out of intensive care and into a regular room< God Willing and he will see them then. The hospital has a florist right there but in an order for tomorrow or the next day. Hugs!!
    Lisa, I am a full time student -18 hours last semester! I am also an investor in a catering company/coffeehouse and I would work there sometimes. and I'm a full time sugarbaby!

  197. Lisa says:

    Hey Gail, guess I missed you. I don’t refill my soda bottles, tap water here is blah. I drop my plastic bottles in the recycling barrels at the school next door.

    Hope you SD recovers soon Nico. Still need to be careful with the texting as electronic devices are said to interfere with the medical equipment or something like that. I couldn’t call my mom from inside the emergency room where my dad was, had to go outside to do it.

  198. Gail says:


    Sooooo sorry to hear. I hope your SD gets better. Just being there, texting, showing words of encouragement will get him thru the days of recovery. SUPER ,GIGANTIC HUGS TO YOU!!!!!

    Enjoy your soda Lisa….after you drink it all…fill the bottle up with water and put in the fridge : )

    Morning Honey and RC: )

    I got up late this morning…getting ready to do a little shopping. Have a great day everyone!!!!

  199. RC msb says:

    No problem, I know that little box well. I’m so glad you are getting through.

    Just focus on your own situation with him. Good luck with all, and we will be sending you the love.

  200. Nico says:

    RC….VERY GOOD suggestions. Thank you!! Sometimes you’re too close to something to be able to see outside of the small little box you’re stuck in.

    He’s in ICU, I did confirm this and so far he’s texted me a few times so he’s either sleeping on his phone or they’re making an exception 😉 Either way, I’m confident he’ll get the message and, worse case scenario, he knows I’m thinking about him and he’ll get it when they transfer him to a room outside of ICU.


    • Pallas says:

      New to the blog, but have been lurking: wanted to say very sorry to hear that, hopefully everything will turn out okay (or even better than okay, esp he goes gungho with healthy lifestyle changes–humans have an incredible capacity to heal 🙂 ). I wish him, and you the best of luck

  201. Lisa says:

    The thing is as long as he is in ICU, he can’t be getting text messages or emails. I wish there was something she could do while he is there to let him know she is thinking about him and I think that would make her feel better too.

    ok gotta go, be back in a little while

  202. RC msb says:

    Sympathies Nico.

    There are many things you can do. You can send him an electronic ‘get well’ card or a Jib Jab message..
    You can take a photo of yourself holding up a ‘Get well!’ sign and email or text him the link.
    You can make a Youtube video of you wishing him well and send him the link.
    You can make a small donation to the American Heart Association in his name and send him the receipt.

    In short, you can do many things. Take a breath and pick something you are comfortable with.

    Relax, breathe, and breathe again. Odds are that he will be fine. Heart attacks are not the death sentence they one were. Now we know the steps to prevent them.

    Think of something to do, and busy yourself doing it. We are all sending you good thoughts.

  203. Lisa says:

    Very sorry to hear about your SD Nico 🙁 I know the helpless feeling not knowing what to do and with anything sudden like that, one minute everything is ok and then everything changes. Like with my dad, he was fine on tuesday night and dead on saturday morning, things can change so quickly.

    Honey, curious how you manage to work and have all the free time to travel, does your employer give you that much vacation time?

    Ok i’m headed across the street to get my deadly soda, lol I tried substituting some water last week and that stuff is too expensive to buy, about a dollar a bottle, I can’t buy the big 3 dollar case because I can’t carry it on the bus as well as walk 3 blocks home with it, so i’ll stick to my dollar a two liter soda.

    Have a good afternoon everyone.

  204. Nico says:

    Ladies….Gents!! Good morning to all. I just learned, very very late last night, that my ex SD is in the hospital. Brief history. He and I began chatting through this site just before Christmas. He was INCREDIBLY GENEROUS in the present department even though we hadn’t even met yet. I’ve flown to see him a couple of times but the nature of his business keeps him slammed from January through April 15th so there was natural distance as a result. Since then we keep in touch but are of the mindset that it just won’t work for him/us because of distance. We still chat every once in a while though.

    I was texting with him yesterday when the texts just dropped off. I thought nothing of it…he probably got busy on something else. Then, at 11:30 pm (his time) he texted say he had a heart attack. I got all the info this morning and he’s in ICU. I cannot send flowers and it’s overkill for me to go out there (he said he didn’t want me to go out too) but I feel helpless!!! I feel like I should DO something…but what??

    *sigh* Help??

  205. Honey says:

    RC- people are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime…..Keep your chin up, Girl.
    Good Morning Everyone…
    The party..I am attached, no way my daddy would like me go and I’m traveling some more in the summer, back to Costa rico in August and Virginia in Sept. Sorry, but my dance card is full….

  206. Lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. Stayed up late last night (before I started working days I used to get to bed at 1 or 2 am every night and get up at 9 am. That’s my natural body clock. Still need to get out of bed but I feel really good, slept sound, had alot of dreams. Weird ones about eatng reeses peanut butter cups and and then one of my former coworkers from years ago (actually from the store that is suing me) kept running and jumping over my head, weird.

    RC msb, going to the doctor is not an option and i’ve only been to the doctor once in my adult life and actually it was the hospital the day my daughter was born 20 years ago. Copay on my insurance is too high and from what i’ve heard from my coworkers, not much is covered,but then again what would I expect for 5 dollars a week? And hey is I ever get crippled, my last social security statement (that thing they send you ever year about what you would earn) shows that i’d get very close to what I make at my current job on disability, only an 80 dollar difference when you take into account work related expenses like 50 dollar busfare and other things. lol well at least today I can rest it but of course tomorrow I have to work alone and it’s truck day again.

    Ok gotta get out of bed, take a shower, and get some coffee in me.

  207. RC msb says:

    Good Morning All.

    Today is the first day I have awaken without feeling heartsick. I’m going to take that as a milestone in the right direction.

    I also feel a bit more alert than I’ve felt all week.

    I hadn’t shared it here yet, but as my former SD was leaving town he wired me the two months allowance I would have gotten had he been able to stay. It was a very generous act.

    I in turn used the money in the form of bonus checks to thank those that made my last two weeks with him possible. I heard from one of them yesterday who had been able to send his boy to a summer camp due to the bonus. It made me think how a positive act can have ripples and repercussions that spread from person to person.

    Texasugar, I hadn’t taken the opportunity to tell you yet, but I have been a long time fan of your personal blog.

    Lisa, Oh Lisa how I wish you would see a doctor before you wind up crippled for life. A permanent issue with your arm will cost you so much more than proper treatment now.

    Sylvia Khalan, No, sound’s interesting, but I shan’t be attending.

    LL Cool Babe. My goodness! I hope this guy falls under the heading of “Good things come to those who wait”, cause you sure have waited. Best of luck with it LL. Also don’t miss the calendar! “Be nice to LL Cool Babe” week starts today!!!

    Aby in NY, Keep the faith, it’s a long term game.

    RedMaru, Absolutely right!

    Cleo, Glad you made it intact, enjoy Sparkle!
    Honey, You have too much fun Girl!
    MsCyn, Wow another Domme! Good luck Ma’am, hope it works out for you.

    Waves to everyone!

  208. Honey says:

    Good Luck Girl!

  209. MsCyn*642427* says:

    I have 2 pot SDs at the moment–one local and one in SoCal. I’m hoping things work out with both and that I can reach a satisfactory arrangement soon. ^_^

  210. Honey says:


  211. Cleo says:

    Texasugah I think I lost your email but I’m happy to have the blo gods share with us
    Dear iPhone autocorrect: mostly I dislike you but
    tonight I have love
    Man you guys, the drive up here was amazing… Lucky for you I forgot my book lol


  212. Lisa says:

    Tell you neighbor to keep those birds warm, out of the ac even if it feels to warm, they get cold really easy. I think that’s why the last baby bird I found last year died so quickly. He was doing fine (about 2 week old pigeon) and the I woke up on morning and he was almost lifeless. But I had been moving my bed around and had gotten really hot even though it was november and had put the ac on really low as moving a large bed by yourself is hard work, so my apartment was really cold but I didn’t realize it because I was moving around, the bird must have been too cold. I didn’t think to cover him up.

  213. Lisa says:

    Hey Gail, the electric once please, it will be faster. But I need plastic too or the apartment will charge me for the blood damage to the carpet.

    I remember when I found percy, he’s so stuck up now, only eats a certain kind of seed and I have to buy a bag of birdseed every time I turn around, bag half full but he’s eaten all the part he will eat, he won’t touch anything else. I think he’d starve if he was on his own.

  214. Gail says:

    Lol….TexasSugah…no need to worry about Lisa. Just let her be : ) Most of us that are really close to her know that she can take care of herself. She has weathered more than most SBs. I personally appreciate what input she offers on the blog.

    Lisa~lol….what kind of saw.?..the old fashioned one or electric : ) By the way my neighbor rescued two baby birds. They are new-born. Just reminded me of you and Percy.

  215. Lisa says:

    I live too close to the emergency room to skip out on the bill. And i’ve already spent too much time there when my dad died, I don’t ever want to go back there. I’ve already got one lawsuit the week after next that i’m going to lose, don’t need another. Memorial Herman sues lots of people, I see it when I look on the page for lawsuits filed. Well its my fault for not running up and filling out a form but I had hit it several times before and it was ok not long after but I must have really hit it this time. And no we dont’ have workers’ comp, company opted out of it. Odd thing is there have been 3 or 4 people injured since i’ve worked there and they all seem to disappear (get fired) months later. probably coincidence but they take there accident free day goals seriously. Whenever I have some extra money I will buy one of those elbow brace things.

  216. texasugah says:

    OMG….she might be right. In a case like that.. and i’m being really irresponsible here, I’d go to the emergency room and then ignore the bill.

    Them not doing something with workmans comp is a crying shame.

  217. Lisa says:

    Hey Texasugah 🙂 I hurt my elbow at work about a month ago (hit it really hard on a steel cart handle) should have reported it but hey I get hurt almost everyday, I cut my thumb today and was bleeding all over the stuff but had so much work to do that I kept working. I’d been filling accident reports everyday. I am taking tons of advil and putting icy hot on it but when I have to use it alot (like today unloading the truck) it starts hurting and doesn’t stop. A coworker said I probably fractured it and it will never heal as long as i’m abusing it so much. oh well.

  218. texasugah says:

    I know I’m going to regret this but.. WTH Lisa?

    What are you doing?

    oh lord

    @cleo – can you please email me? thanks

  219. Lisa says:

    Does anyone have a saw? I need to saw my right arm off.

  220. RC msb says:

    Close enough, have fun! 😀

  221. rc i’ve got my hat, salads/snacks, my iphone and my water bottle, a cute dress, two towels and three bikinis…

    that’s enough right?

  222. texasugah says:

    Morning all…

    Hey Honey – Girl I’m off to San An for the week. Got a conference but plan to make a couple of sugar stops on the way..*fingers crossed* The Single, I want a meaningful relationship types.

    @Kindred – I think that the connotation that was mentioned was that some sugars want a man to be a wallet yet she’s nothing more than the same entitled brat like his SO. So.. whatever.

    @PB Ok, I just read through the blog. Looks like much hasn’t changed. The racial issue is still around. You just can’t be worried about that kind of deal. Truly. I was kinda caught up in it when I first started in the bowl because I date exclusively interracially. At this point, I’ve done enough in the bowl and talked to enough men that.. it’s a non issue. Some sites are more geared toward women of different races. I’m on SA for the blog mostly, although I did meet a guy last night from here. I rarely get emails.. but.. whatever. Diversify dearheart.. join other sites. I won’t give a black sugar the time of day. That’s my preference. Have a passed over a few.. yes. Could they have been great.. probably but I’m not interested and this is mutually beneficial, I need to have a benefit as well.
    Midwest is correct.. marketing is the key. Create a blog, show some of your personality. And most of all, don’t sweat it.

    As to the weight issue.. honestly, I’m overweight. It’s all coke bottle but I’m sexy as well. Since I’m off for vacation I have literally been dating my ass off. I have about 3-4 dates a week. From anything from dinner to concerts to shopping. Next week I have two sugar dates while I’m out of town. I had a regular sugar but.. honestly, it got boring. Yes, I date multiple sugars. I know, I know, I know. I was sitting around for weeks without a date waiting for my main sugar to get back into town. If I meet a great guy who has the means to care for me exclusively.. great. Until then I’m having a great time and if someone doesn’t meet with what I want, I next them. It’s a long step from where I was before and where I am now.

    Guess I need to update my blog on this.

  223. LL Cool Babe says:

    Morning sugars 😀

    Here’s hoping everyone is having a fantastic sugary weekend!

    RC – We just couldn’t get our timing to work…date postened again :'( I’m sending out the good vibes for next week…apparently he’s going to focus on work tomorrow to free up some time so we can meet and I will try to be just as flexible with my schedule because this is just getting insane!

    Red – Sorry to hear the guy couldn’t manage the distance…and I do think it can be a major barrier for some SD’s, just remember…just because you have the flexibility to travel doesn’t mean he has the time or desire to invest in making travel arrangements on a continual basis, he could view it has just one more task he has to add to his plate of things to do! I had a similar situation, I was browsing profiles regardless of location (with no intention of communicating) and within minutes of viewing a profile I got an email back with a wink and a comment saying it was to bad of the distance between us…I simply viewed it to be he was looking for multiple times a week dating whereas distance would become to much of a task along with a waste of money if he was in the position to find someone in his current area 😉 Keep workin it girl, you’ll find what you’re looking for !!! I think it’s a great idea to reflect the flexibility in your schedule along with he fact that you love to travel as it add a sense of adventure to life 😉

    Sylvia – I don’t foresee myself attending the upcoming event unless I receive a personalized all expenses paid invite 😉

    Rachel – Sounds like you had a blast…what woman doesn’t like to see a man in uniform..and so close too! *drooling as I type*

    Cleo! Have a rockin time at the potahawk piss-up…………Drinky Drinky!

    Waving to everyone else!

  224. Rachel says:

    Good morning sugars!
    Went to the soxs game last night, sat 4 rows off the field behind the sox on deck circle and was there when Papi got into it! WOW, what a GAME. I got texts all night because I was apparently on TV the whole night. LOL. I’m envisioning being on TV while stuffing a Fenway Frank into my mouth LOOOOL!

    @Lisa – I’ve never tried one of those types of coffee’s but it sounds like something I would completely be up for!

    @Sylvia – It stinks that you got an email like that, I’m sure we’ve all gotten a rejection that is harsh like that at some point in this game. I’m a slender (dancer body) 120lb woman and was recently called “average”. I teach fitness 3 times a week for 3-5 hrs a day so I do a lot to keep my physique in check (if anyone wants to know of a GREAT way to stay in shape, I’ll tell ya!). Anyways, you sound like a woman who takes good care of themselves and you should pride yourself on that. Some guys will look at me and say, “not for me” because they like the waify look (nothing against that body frame… sometimes I wish I had that frame), the moral is… don’t let it get to you… every guy has a different”taste” and your strong sexy athletic frame is just not his “taste”…. he’s probably afraid you could crush him with your overwhelmingly toned bod! 🙂 ALWAYS think positive!

    @Aby – When your gut tells you something is “off” RUN. I have relied on this instinct for a long time…. it’s our inner fight or flight telling us, “YO… SOMETHING’S UP”. That amt was looooow, especially for Manhattan. Heck, that amt is low for CT/MA too. You handled it well, you do have the strength and mind to see a fake! GOOD JOB!

    @everyone else – Good morning and HAPPY SATURDAY!!!!

    I think I’ll goto Fenway again tonight… hehehehehehehehehehehe I LOVE those seats behind the on deck circle..the only think I like more than the Redsoxs is being 4 rows back from Ellsbury’s buttocks while he stretches and warms up for his @ bat. If only I had go go gadget arms! LOOOOL!

    • Sylvia Khalan says:

      @Rachel if I still lived on the North Shore (Salem, MA), I would have loved to have met you!
      Got divorce in 2009 and moved to St. Louis, MO.

      Loved Beantown!

  225. Aby in NY says:

    @ NYC SB- thanks, I will stay far away!

    I have another pot I’ve been having a lovely email chat with, but he and I are out of town until next week. We both rock climb, so I’m even more interested than usual!

  226. RedMaru says:

    Morning Sugars
    i have read the announcement and sadly I cannot attend…got plenty of time just dont have the money to travel. I would love to go to one of the sugar meets but I can never go as they are always in New York and I never can afford the plane trip and hotel. I wish they would hold one here in ATL we have plenty of nice fancy hotels especially in downtown.

  227. Sylvia Khalan says:

    OKAY Sugars, good lovely morning!

    Got out and walked my dog, now getting ready to head to work, but wanted to post this to see how many of you:
    1) have read this Seeking Arrangement Announcement
    2) how many sweet Sugars will be attending this event….

    ULTIMATE sugar extravaganza, which will be held at the super-posh Hudson Terrace on August 8, 2011 in New York City!

    I need to know if they are worth going to.

    Being a newbie here, I like to hear of folks attending the various events.

    Feedback please SUGARS!

  228. RC msb says:

    You have no idea, some days I ran into trouble faster than a speeding bullet.

    Actually my limerick skills didn’t kick in till I was a freshman at college. You would have been just…..Hmmmm?? Nah, couldn’t be.

    I hope you have a wonderful time at your hilarious freshwater piss-up shindig thing. Sounds like a blast. 😀



  229. oh dear where are my manners…

    also rc? have a freaking awesome day yourself! (i know i will, meeting a new possible cross referral source now, then some clients and lunch with a friend and then?? so excited lol – going to a friend’s boat tonight in preparation for the “potahawk piss-up” tomorrow – some kind of “largest freshwater party in the world shindig thingy – should be HILARIOUS as long as i remember my hat and my water bottle!)

  230. RC msb: oh intriguing, that must have made for some very odd experiences growing up…

    well, you have to make these deals quite young so most of my youthful words had to do with mud puddles and barbie dolls… but i think they would have been legendary really… i mean who ever heard of a three year old limerick writer?

    i’ve noticed before that men’s legs and women’s legs are measured on a different scale… and that for some reason shoes count for women’s legs and not men’s… weird right?

  231. RC msb says:

    Morning Sparkle, For some reason the stuff was all over the place in the small town where I grew up. Something to do with a meteor shower the day I was born. I forget the details.

    I think you made an excellent deal. Judging from your legs I’m sure your limerick skills were both amazing and flexible.

    It is strange though that while we are both the same height, your legs go up to there, whereas mine are only long enough to reach the ground. Weird isn’t it?

    Have a wonderful day Sparkle.

  232. rc msb: oh dear, how did you discover this terrible affliction?

    actually i made a deal with the devil and gave up my limerick writing talents (and oh they were good) in exchange for legs that go up to here…

    I mean really? That’s the best we had? That’s the fittest, the top of the gene pool? The T-Rex didn’t make it, but this survived? Really?

    *dies laughing*

    sort of my feeling as well

  233. NYC SB says:

    Aby you met wall street party animal… Stay clear he is a fraud and a fake … The blog has spoken about him many times

  234. RedMaru says:

    Heya sugarfam I just got drenched! Its raining outside…well ATL needed it

    Okay to update from the email I received which I read hours ago sorry to keep y’all in suspense and those of you just tuning in see my previous posts. He responded thanking me for my kind words, that I made his day, I was so pretty and it was too bad we werent closer and I must be a special person(made me feel all warm and fuzzy). I’m flattered cause he was a certified SD yet discouraged cause it still didnt go anywhere. So I have to ask and I would love if the blog SDs would chime in: Is distance a major major barrier in SD/SB relationships? Is there too far for you even if it within the same country and travel isn’t a problem for the SB. My “lovely” job doesn’t pay much however I have enough leave(annual and sick ah the life of a civil servant) accrued and still accrue with every pay period that travel would not be a problem so I am flexible. Is local ideal or distance a genteel rejection reason? I’m trying to keep it local too however the pickings down here are slender. Most of the legit ones want a certain “type” and I have never/will never fit that type. The ones that have encountered more along my demographic have been found to be all talk no action and rather cheap. So with my new look I have expanded my horizons with marginal luck. Should I indicate in profile that I am flexible to travel?
    Please chime in sugars!

  235. Sylvia Khalan says:

    I got a critique on my S.A. profile today…and WOW I was astonished at how this guy actually thinks i’m a hippo from checking out my profile pics. Read on……
    He starts off by posting:
    I hope you read my profile stating ‘if you cant see your toes, we wont fit’

    Sooo go ahead and mention in your profile that you have some big booty and respond to lovers of big booty. Dont be ashamed of your package, work it baby ! Its not for me, but for some it is.

    Im sure you will find what you are looking for here, just be up front about your weight…xoxo

    Respectfully submitting,

    This is from a 60+ year old white male.

    So, it is really time to up my profile…and i’ll have to show off my beautiful, muscular, curvacious physique that’s NOT obese!

    • RedMaru says:

      Hey Sylvia that guy was just flat out rude….that critique was totally uncalled for.
      Not for him…..and who asked him anyway? Totally NEXT him probably has a beer belly and triple chin and the audacity to talk…hmph!

      • Sylvia Khalan says:

        he has a pic up. wow, you knew exactly what he looked like! oh, and he smokes cigars…and in his profile he prefers African-American women….really odd dude.

  236. Nico says:

    Aby, I agree, $2800 for the time commitment is not what is common ESPECIALLY considering you’re in Manhattan!! Trust your gut and your instincts when it comes to all else. I wouldn’t immediately write him off. Some people are single because they lack social graces so, communicate with him instead. Tell him you would prefer the relationship (sex included) not be so, “In your face”…..or however you prefer to word it.

    Sugarbaby ~ as for the clubs, granted that’s a to each their own sort of thing. Unless your life is spent in the clubs what are the odds you’re going to run into somebody you know? I am more likely to see somebody I know in the mall with my daddy than at the strip clubs. 😉

  237. Aby in NY says:

    Sugarbaby-I was thinking the same as what you said, but the affirmation helps! I did email for a week before meeting him, but everything else sounds spot on. My last (and only) SD was mostly a gift and occasionally help SA who I met IRL, so the number game us completely new to me!

    I guess I wasn’t clear before, but the first meet is my last w him. Even though I’m new to the game and what allowance/meet frequency is appropriate, I am plenty mature enough to walk away when I don’t feel happy!

  238. sugarbaby says:

    abby – first of all your allowance seems very low to be meeting 2-3 times a week, it seems like for that allowance you should be meeting 2-3 times a month.(Especially for NY where there are more rich men) And 2800 that is an odd number, why not just straight 3,000 then. You must be young and new to the game, these men will pray on you… watch out, and you are right to be uncomfortable,
    1) don’t meet with men on the first day you contact them – and if they want to they usually aren’t SDs usually loser men that want to meet a women for sex or just waste her time and jerk off to the thought of her later.

    2) anyone that mentions sex club are way to freaky and should be avoided. I personally like sex clubs, I like to be open about my sexuality and having sex with other women, BUT BUT BUT I would never go to one with a guy that isn’t around my age or attractive, I don’t want people to catch on to what I do :p This is our private life what we do with our SDs it seems that this guy you met isn’t private, and he wants a lot. But this man seems he will be too pushy and too controlling and most likely limit your shopping to the minimum and he won’t be any fun.


  239. RedMaru says:

    If you order champagne glass I’ll pack it nice and tight and careful and in layers. If I lived in your area, I would find some way to deliver it to ya. Last time I had a champagne glass candle order, it was here in my area so I just just delivered it to the lady.

    • Aby in NY says:

      Just wanted to post about a first meet I had with a pot last night. (my 2nd date from this site). I was a bit hesitant overall, because he had originally wanted to meet on the day we first emailed, and all his photos were with a different girl. I went anyhow, and managed to be relaxes even though he was 20 min late. He met my physical standards, but I felt early comfortable and the conversation was good. After an hour, he wanted to talk details. I hate this part, but we decide on 2-3 times a week, 2800 allowance, plus shopping for events we would go to. (I’m Manhattan, just for reference).

      Now is when things start to go wrong! As soon as we agree, he wants to talk sex. What-IF would do, do I like girls, would I go to a sex club. Honestly, some of what he mentioned was a stuff I like, but he brought it up way too soon and now I’m turned off 🙁 For a minute there I thought I found someone! Oh well 🙁

      I tried to link to my profile-I put a new pic up and I have a big increase in # of views, but not many emails. I’d love some feedback from you ladies!

  240. Honey says:

    Will do, like the champagne glass candle, sure it won’t crack?

  241. RedMaru says:

    I mean jscentsandtreatz dot ecrater dot com oops my bad

  242. Lisa says:

    Ok housework done in a little over an hour.
    Honey, it has a strong smell and seemed kind of strong to me. I’m not much for strong coffee and honestly except for lattes, I can’t really tell much difference in regular cups of coffee. It was ok but honestly coffee is coffee to me, more of a psychological than actual taste enjoyment.

    Thanks RC msb, i’ve got all my paystubs , copies of my two most recent utility bills (this will show them that I even go without airconditioning which counted an necessity in this area), as well as my bank statements for the past 7 months (showing that there was nothing there even months before the suit was filed) as well as a copy of my most recent rent check as well as my lease renewal letter showing the rent increase effective sept 1. What I am offering them in monthly payment is nothing because of the high interest they want but it is going to cause a hardship on me being that I have cut out my aircontioning and also have to deal with a rent increase. My so called pay raise turned out to be only 14.00 a month instead of 20 (employer couldn’t spare the extra 10 cents an hour. Anyway regardless of what happens, they will only get what I can offer. Texas is non wage garnishment so my paycheck is safe.

    My arm is hurting me all day so i’m going to give it a rest and get of this computer. Have a good afternoon everyone.

  243. RedMaru says:

    ah what the hay. Its jscentsandtreatz at ecrater dot com and if I you don’t see what you prefer, just let me know and I’m sure I can get it

  244. RC msb says:

    Lisa – Glad I picked a good week. Don’t sweat the court thing too much, they closed all the debtors prisons. I would take copies of your pay stubs, bills and budget though so you can show the judge how tight things are. Good Luck

    Cougarlicious – Thanks, it’s what I do.

    Rachel – I think it’s simply a decision by the promoters to give the party a sexy/naughty vibe, (and what better way?). They will probably lose some couples because of it, and gain others. If I were to place a bet, I’d bet that it will be a net positive for their ticket sales. I’m also betting they are thinking the same thing.

    Sexxxy Steffi – Welcome aboard! As to your profile I would look to the tips section both at the top of this page and the right sidebar. I read your profile and it is very good but not really written with sugar in mind. The rules are different here. I would look over the tips carefully and readjust. Good luck and welcome to the fold. Come back often.

    Sparkling Cleo – I hope it servers you well.

    Don’t sweat the limerick thing. It’s just a freak ability, on the down side I have a terrible Kryptonite allergy.

    Ya know, it’s email’s like that, that make me doubt evolution.

    I mean really? That’s the best we had? That’s the fittest, the top of the gene pool? The T-Rex is didn’t make it, but this survived? Really?

    I guess it’s like I always say: Intelligence is limited, but stupidity is infinite, it knows no bounds.

    Waves and cool breezes to everyone!

    LL Cool babe! TELL US ABOUT YOUR DATE!!!!!!

  245. Honey says:

    what’s the website? How do I get to it? I tried to click on your name…

  246. Honey says:

    Lisa, how was that civet coffee? smooth?It’s on my list of things to try. I must admit I would have never discovered that special taste in a million years! I wonder who was the first person to make it?

  247. Lisa says:

    Rachel, a year ago I was drinking civet coffee (that expensive kind that goes through some weasel like animal’s digestive track , lol back when I had my last sd he brought me several types of coffee and coffee beans on our second date, as well as my first allowance payment. Now i’m drinkin kroger coffee but at least it’s coffee, I dont’ really drink it for the taste, just the caffeine.

    Ok now back to my housework.

  248. (or am i a weird old fashioned prude?) lol

  249. Rachel says:

    I can’t wait to see Red’s website….. thank you in advance blog gods for sharing my email w RedMaru 🙂

    It’s 2:30 on the east coast in CT and I’m calling it a WRAP for working today. Do I goto the redsox game or should I get my fav bottle of wine (y’all are gonna laugh at me, but my fav is Santa Margherita pinot grigio) and chillax while watching the game? HMMMM… I do like this being the dilemma of the day 🙂

    @ Lisa – I wish I could send you some of my FAV coffee… I am addicted to the Hawaiian Coffee company’s Kona coffee’s. I currently am drinking their Budda’s Cup which won coffee of the year. Surprisingly it is NOT expensive, a bag of Starbucks coffee is more expensive.

    @Red – Open that email woman! this is worse than a soap opera’s cliff hanger Friday episode LOOOOL… we gotta know what’s up!

  250. red maru: thanks – it’s in direct conflict with my innate desire to have a big strong alpha male sweep me off my feet without me telling him why i wish he would, but i do take y’alls point…
    Risto: my brain is all “up to… where exactly?”
    rc msb: i love it and am going to totally change my text to exactly that… any second now ;>

    it never ceases to amaze me how truly supportive this group is… and honest… maybe not about every experience but emotionally which matters far more

    please excuse my lack
    to write limericks like that *snaps fingers*
    how about haiku?
    midwest: i note that witty eye candy got me better attention that any line before, no reason this won’t be awesome… i guess if i were to go log in i could do that huh? lol

    don’t worry, you know i’ll report back!
    kindred spirit i like your reflection, i know that i love to treat a man well if he is doing the same for me but i’ve resisted calling it ‘spoiling him’ because of those connotations. that said, the idea which you describe is the ideal of many of us here i believe, myself inclluded.
    red maru: hon like 90% of the messages you get on SA are “no thanks” so just assume it’s that and hope to be pleasantly surprised…?
    this happened long enough ago now that i feel okay saying it here…

    SD’s in case you’re wondering… this is NOT the email to send your new potential sb the morning after you meet her for a quick drink, especially considering that you had exchanged hardly anythign at that point – especially don’t send it as an addendum!

    “Part2 – almost forgot! When I crawled into bed, I had you – bent over and loud!”

    which received as reply “pardon?” (mostly out of shock)

    only to learn that “You were my mental inspiation last night” which? ew. [and i’ve had men tell me they dreamed of me in ways that were flattering, or even cute or flirty or arousing… this is… *shakes head*]

    truly trying to imagine a circumstance where that is appropriate to send to a woman you met for two drinks and who did not kiss you goodbye… anyone?

  251. RedMaru says:

    Honey you could through my website or better yet through email tell me what you would like and what size yada yada…..
    Blog Gods could you favor me and give Honey my email?

  252. Honey says:

    Pb, my day is going great! I am happy and excited for you and your new pot, good luck and show us how you do!
    Redmaru…how would one get a hold of one or two of your candles?

  253. Lisa says:

    Open it please 🙂 let’s hear what he said

  254. Lisa says:

    Hey Beach_Girl missed you again. Back from getting groceries. Going to have a healthy lunch of cucumber, green onion and ranch dressing lol. I’m drenched, gotta strip down first, lol

  255. RedMaru says:

    You know I still haven’t opened that message I got from that SD….nervous
    silly enough I’m afraid of what it might say…see this mornings post. I didnt think he would respond!

  256. RedMaru says:

    I love soy candles too that’s why I got to making them cleaner burning longer lasting good for earth. Vanilla and lavender my favorites and best sellers

  257. pb says:

    @ Honey how’s the day going so far?

    For me I’m getting ready to meet this new SD….. 😀 Hope it works out!

  258. pb says:

    Omg … watching The Millionaire Matchmaker!

    What is this guy thinking???!! Lol

    The shit these men say out their mouths and the things they do.

  259. RedMaru says:

    Rachel sure do

  260. Beach_Girl says:

    oups… Meant to add

    Hi to everyone I missed 😀

  261. Beach_Girl says:

    Hi Sugars!!

    Nico~ How are you girlie? 😀
    Lisa~ enjoy your day off
    Gail~ hi
    RC msb~ nice to be back
    Honey ~ I think they are bottles of wine not candles.
    CAP~ Hey girl!!! welcome back… you owe me an FB email girl 😀

    Off to U2 pre party… then the Show Woooooo….. Have a great day Sugars!!!

  262. Honey says:

    What a life Capricious!! Tell us all one day!!

  263. Honey says:

    I’ll buy some wine too! Friday!!

  264. Honey says:

    I’ll buy some candles!! Where do I go?

    A keurig is a single serving coffee maker, most make a cup in under a minute, but my takes about two, I got the small one. You know the ones with the little foil cups..

  265. Lisa says:

    I think those are wine bottles in Nico’s avatar, not candles, lol

    ok off to get some groceries.

  266. Lisa says:

    Good morning Rachel.

    ok trash it out, dishwasher is running, percy is cleaned, plants watered, electric meter read, time to walk down and good some groceries.
    Have a good morning everyone

  267. Rachel says:

    @ RedMaru…. do u have a website that you use to sell said candles? If so, I’d be interested! I LOOOVE soy candles! No black stuff to get on the ceiling or walls. With that said, BLOG GODS… please share my email addy with RedMaru…

    How is the sugar world today? I woke up to some interesting prospects in my email, which made me smile my devilish fun smile 😉

  268. Lisa says:

    Honey not sure i’ve even been to midtown, is that the Galleria area or what? I haven’t been out of my neighborhood in months, lol Unfortunately I’ll have to go downtown the week after next and try to find the courthouse, I always end up getting lost anytime I go downtown and my bus doesn’t stop anywhere near it, last time it took me almost an hour to find the place and I walked about a mile.

    My coffee is just plain store brand stuff, it’s getting so expensive.
    Ok gotta get some stuff done and then walk down to the store to get groceries.

  269. RedMaru says:

    Hey sugars dropping a line @ work
    Honey did you mention candles(zing zing magic word) I make candles! That’s one of my side businesses. Scented soy wax candles.
    Whats a Keurig sounds really fancy

  270. Capricious says:

    Good Morning All!
    Taking the morning off work and decided to check up on the family (you know who you are!). How is EVERYONE doing? I hope everyone’s been sugar blessed.
    Quick Update of Moi:
    – Broke off with RIchSD…
    – Made Arrangment with SD friend to true SD
    – Broke off with said SD friend…
    – RichSD came back as a client… made $ off him…
    – SDless and back to square one again….
    So really… Nothing happened lol

  271. Honey says:

    Lisa, if you ever make it over to midtown, I’ll fix you anything you want with my Keurig!!!
    Good morning pb! Welcome sexxy! and lurkers!!!

  272. Lisa says:

    Good morning Gail
    Need to get some coffee in me and wake up.

  273. Gail says:

    Good Morning Everyone:

    Hello Cougarlicious!!! Greetings Texas Sugah!!!!

    Nico~I have been in sugar heaven: )

    RC msb~Thank you…I love the calendar : )

    It’s nice to see everyone back again.

    Lisa~Enjoy your day off today : )

    Off to work sugars……………………..and another cup of coffee: )

  274. Sexxxy Steffi says:

    Hey, im new to the sugar dating scene. And was just wondering if you’d take a look at my profile and pics and see what needs improving. I’d just like to improve to get, the most outta my profile! Many thanks! Profile No – 642509

  275. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugarfam
    The most amazing things happened: One the SD in question actually read the message I sent and he sent a message back. But silly thing I’m nervous about opening it. I’ve gotten so much letdown in my sugar search I’m not trying to get my hopes up but I cant help being happy he responded at the same time. Must be the vibes y’all sent. Thanks sugarfam. Keep em coming. Off to work

  276. pb says:

    Gm Honey & RC msb

  277. pb says:

    @Kindred Spirit…. I do kind of agree with you………… The really most hated word SD’s hate is not “spoil” its “deserve”

    That drives them crazy!! Lol

  278. Spawn of Santa says:

    What is the possible value of meeting a french president?
    Is it going to lead to income, investment, better social standing, etc etc etc?
    Unless you are in a position to do business with him, meeting him is no different from meeting any other public figure.
    I’m pretty sure there are musicians much more popular than the french president, and you can almost certainly meet those by going to their concert and being a pretty girl.

  279. Kindred Spirit says:

    Texasugah wrote earlier, “The most hated word by SDs.. spoil.”

    … *Pensive* …
    I’ve noticed this sentiment stated occasionally in the blog over the months (usually off-handedly), and upon reading would tilt my head with wonder and a little sadness that such a word could have such a negative connotations.

    Why? Does it too easily remind people of the term, “spoiled brat”? Or that being spoiled must mean the person has a sense of entitlement and a snooty attitude behind it all? Why must it be “wrong”, maybe immoral, maybe shameful, maybe…well anything so disheartening??

    True, I see there are indeed many negative definitions for the word “spoil”. And then I notice the one (and only one when I looked it up) definition among them all that speaks beautifully with love and endearment…the way I’ve always thought of the term since I began my adventures in sugar-dating about 6 months ago…:

    “Spoil • treat with great or excessive kindness, consideration, or generosity”

    *Smiling, with slight tear in eye* ^__^,, Ohhh, how much a word can mean…or how little. How once a word is given an action, a Purpose, if you will…and from Where (in my silver-lining belief, the heart).

    If a “Rose is a rose is a rose”, then certainly a “Word is a word is a word”? Ah ha, and yet….

    Since it’s personally such a romantic dream, when I hear the word “spoil”, I sensualize, feel delightful, feverish but the warmest chills…and my cheeks turn a very touched and grateful red. #^_^#

    Back to “lurking mode”. See ya, maybe another time soon? Take care…. 😉

  280. Honey says:

    Nico, are you selling candles?

  281. Nico says:

    I used to go to the ‘clubs’ with my x-husband. I found it to be entertaining and it worked for him too *wink* I would reap the benefits 😀

  282. Rachel says:

    Like I said, I don’t have any issues with it (the gentleman’s club). I was just looking for other people’s perspective of having an SA function with SB’s and SD’s finish in an adult club 🙂

    I’d like to go, but, I’m uneasy about going alone to the function, it would be nice to meet some of the blog personalities! 🙂

  283. Honey says:

    If you two already agreed on the club, then I would go and just best the happiest, most bubbly chick at the club. Don’t show any jealousy, if you would that be the type to be jealous after situation. Act nice, but nonchalant. Don’t pout, if he leaves you alone to get a lap dance,if he gets one with you there, unless you are down with that, tell him how it makes you feel. and if his actions keep making you feel bad, leave.

  284. Rachel says:

    although I do find it interesting that the night is going to round out at a gentlemen’s club. I myself am comfortable enough with who I am that I’m not opposed to that, however, I’m curious what some other SB’s take on this are.

    From my experience, I have been told that a man would much rather spend his time with a beautiful, intelligent, engaging woman than go to a gentlemen’s club. Substance trumps all! Or so I hope looool (keeping fingers crossed for us women of substance).

    thoughts? opinions?

  285. Honey says:

    Nico,just missed your post and miss your presence on the board!!! Big Kiss

  286. Honey says:

    and Hi back at ya, Midwest! I’m feeling feisty!!

  287. Nico says:

    Hola Honey 🙂 Miss your energy!!!

    BG ~ Hi sweetheart!!!

    Gail ~ if you weren’t on earth…well, where were you??? Welcome back regardless *hugs*

    Mid West ~ Hiya sister!!!

  288. Honey says:

    TexasSug!! I’m calling you out…to lunch!! Pick a place, a day a time whatever!! I feel the need to socialize!! Holla if ya hear me!

  289. Rachel says:

    So I see SA is putting on another party…

    WELL… now that my schedule is ummm… EXTREMELY FLEXIBLE… I think I just might go! Last time I was on the blog a bunch of SB’s got together to go together… anyone want in on that again?

    This will be my first SA party. Granted I’m only 1 state away, but, taking the time away from work was not an option before…. now it’s amazing to have the freedom to do things!

  290. Honey says:

    RC and RED aaww thanks for the love, I was really just teasing,but thanks for the warm regards gals. Bless you both for caring! Warm fuzzies for everyone!!

  291. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Holy exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  292. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Lovely Friday Sugars!!! So many cameos, I’m giddy!!!

    Gail and TexasSugah!!! Hello, hello, hello!!!

    RC MSB – You are on FIRE!!! I’m loving the profile advice…that is some fierce marketing!

    Cleo- You are in for a ride! I agree wholeheartedly in promoting what makes you special in the sugar world! I can’t wait to hear the outcome!

    Beach, SG2, Lisa, RedMaru, Honey, Risto, Rachel…a little sugar dust! *~*~*~*~*~*~*~cotton-candy sweetness*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  293. SouthernGent2 says:

    Amber L, my dates are never more than 3-4 hours. If you like the guy, enjoy his company, etc, then go with it. Every bit helps.

  294. Lisa says:

    Hi everyone. Hey Gail, Beachgirl

    Thanks RC msb, you picked the perfect be nice to me week, that’s the week (july 19) of my credit card debt trial. I’m scared because I have no one to advise me and they won’t accept my payment offer. Anyway regardless of the outcome, they will still get the same amount of payment, it will just take them longer to recover their legal costs before getting to the principle.

    ok I broke down and bought a bag of veggie chips and a tub of sourcream with chives, that’s what i’m having for dinner tonight. time for some junk food

  295. RedMaru says:

    RC – thanks for the pep talk I needed it!
    Honey – their loss. Don’t worry they’ll realize the sweet flavor they’re missing out on.
    And its 90 outside now….I really wish I could take Gail up on her offer to come to Cali. I’m trying to picture that wonderful refreshing pool and me dipping right in it. They’re turning “down” (you heard it right folks) at work to cut costs.

  296. RC msb says:

    Just keep swimming Honey, If you stop and worry about the idiots of the world, you wont have time for anything else. You know you’re good!

  297. Honey says:

    And welcome back TexasSugah!

  298. Honey says:

    rejection…someone refused my offer..don’t they know who I am? Should send him a hateful email, telling him how much he’s missing? Naw..I’m good

  299. RC msb says:

    Cleo’s a lady that sparkles,
    So sparkle I sometimes might say,
    It’s meant as a gesture of friendship,
    I hope that she takes it that way.

  300. Texasugah says:


  301. Amber L says:

    Thank you for the feedback! Each agreement is unique, and perhaps i shouldn’t assume any two will be alike. Maybe I just miss the more generous SD’s from the past 🙂 This particular SD is constantly asking for a “discount” or all night dates, but in my opinion, the $400/date we agreed on, is just not enough for me to have to cut back drastically on work. Or maybe im just spoiled… hmm…. thanks again everyone!

  302. RC msb says:

    RedMaru – Never second guess yourself girl, let it go and see what happens. you never know. And good luck.

    Risto – That’s a good one too, but I still lean towards the climber 🙂

  303. RC msb says:

    -Sparkling Cleo,

    You mean you can’t have all Three?

    I would use the “6′ tall and well worth the climb line” as the tag, and then maybe open with …And 6′ – 4″ in heels, I am noticed in every room. I love going out and can be witty eye candy for the right gentleman. And don’t worry, I like well mannered gentlemen in all sizes….and then continue into what you already have.

    Anyway, something like that. But I wouldn’t hold anything back, use all of your good ideas now, you’ll always think of new ones later.

    I’m glad I joined too Sparkle. Have a good day.

  304. RedMaru says:

    I just sent a message to an SD telling him that I thought he was handsome which I thought he was and that I liked his profile because I did. I’m just afraid it was long winded and he’s one of those that would get dozens upon hundreds….sigh

  305. RedMaru says:

    cleo – love your tagline too both of em! Gotta say love worth the climb better…hee hee!

  306. gail: climbing legs cleo!! *dies laughing*
    texasugah: it is amazing what men have asked and expected of me within moments of meeting me … and funnily enough it’s always the “i’m gonna” guys who are pushy like that. actual generous men know that if they are generous to the right woman she will be as if not more generous in return… at least that’s my experience.

    get two generous souls together and anything is possible… and with real chemistry you find yourself doing things you never would have considered with someone who was only “okay”

    ew spoiled food in the trunk!
    rc: oh my word i am so glad you decided to join this crazy group!

    so i was all proud of my new tagline “witty eye candy” but 6′ tall and worth the climb is um… wow… really good. maybe i’ll alternate between them… what do you think? should i just add “6’4 in heels” to my description?

    omg that calendar, so utterly awesome! loves it!

  307. Rachel says:

    Hello sugars!

    I’m back from my week of vacation. Was also a week away from any cell signal, internet connection, etc…. by the time I pulled into my driveway I was in FULL withdrawal… mainly freaking out about a whole weeks worth of missed deadlines for my MBA program homework, tests, etc. But, I refused to let that dampen my vacation. There was nothing I could do about it without cell service or internet, so I enjoyed my time without any interruptions and it was GREAT!

    I hope you all had a wonderful 4th!

    Still full steam ahead on the SD search… I updated my profile so I won’t have to update people every time they contact me. LOL… I just didn’t want to do it before the holiday

  308. RedMaru says:

    RC – waving right back at ya!
    Hey Texassugah – I missed ya! Believe me its been a long month in June didn’t want to clog up the blog. Hey that rhymed!

  309. RC msb says:

    – Gail

    Welcome back to earth! Please stay awhile 🙂

    – Texasuguh

    Things have been pretty calm here, Welcome back!

    – Amber L.

    Agree with Cleo, There are no definitive measures, it’s what you feel is fair.

    – Beach_Girl

    Thanks Beach, so nice to have you back.

    – Sparkling Cleo! 😀

    Thanks about the post, and it would seem that the Blog Gods have once again been merciful and posted ‘SA Blog Tips & Tricks’ over on the sidebar. I feel so blessed. 🙂

    I’m glad the volunteer thing made sense to you. I’ve seen that sort of thing a lot. Now that I’ve solved a mystery perhaps I’ll have a Scooby snack for breakfast. 🙂

    And speaking of mysteries, I took a look at your profile and saw something that surprised me. YOU ARE AN AMAZON! My goodness Sparkle you should really mention that in your description. I know it’s listed on the side but I assure you many people don’t really look at that part much.

    I have a gal pal, a very good friend, that many years ago got on some prehistoric version of Match, I think it was called Udate or something like that. She was struggling trying to write her description when something came up and she had to leave. So feeling cheeky she just left the description blank and changed her tag line to read: 5′ – 11″ and well worth the climb.

    The next morning she logged in intent on finishing her profile….. TWO HUNDRED THIRTY FIVE MESSAGES!

    Now I grant you her intro was a bit overt, but she was pretty pleased with the results and wound up dating one of the men who responded for Two years.

    This incident taught me two things.

    1. Men LOVE tall women! (I suppose as much as women love tall men)

    2 A startling intro to your profile is a powerful technique all by itself.

    Something to consider.

    Oh and one more thing.. Clearly you need a better calendar. Might try using this one.


    Waving to Redmaru, PB, and Risto!

    Have a good day all.

  310. Texasugah says:

    Morning all…

    Amber – I agree with you. Men have gotten a different view of the sugarbowl and seem to be far more demanding than they were years ago, before I married and divorced. It’s supply and demand. There are SO many women in the bowl that they feel they can get more bang for the buck. Just like with anything.. the requests increase while the allowance/pay decreases. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. If he wants more time then he needs to pay for more things so that you won’t work as much. Simple little equation. I’m VERY upfront about my career and family obligations. If they can’t work with that then they need to support me full time or next. They generally can’t or don’t want to support me, bang for buck nor would I allow that.. but there ya go.

    Risto –

    I prefer the pay per date. Why? I don’t want to be beholden to a man for anything. If he gives me an allowance at the first of the month and I want to “beat feet” I’m not giving a refund. LOL

    I guess I always keep pots in the background so if someone acts up..I’m out. For example, I’ve had guys want things I’m not going to do. PERIOD. Ok.. moving right along. And even then.. it’s the way you bring things up. One pot before asked for something I hadn’t considered. He was so matter of fact, I ditched him. My sugar now was so nice we ended up.. well you get my drift. lol

    CLEO!!!! What’s up sugar?????

    Oh I so agree with you. I’ve chatted around quite a bit and I get the same stuff. Many men don’t feel appreciated by their spouses so they look around only to find the same deal here? The whole point is to be different. The most hated word by SDs.. spoil. LOL You know that’s what you say about apricots you forgot that you bought two weeks ago in the back of the fridge or worse.. your trunk.

    Hey Red – I’m going to have to reread to find out what’s up dear.

    Gail!!! OMG great to see you.

    Have a great day y’all!

  311. RedMaru says:

    Hey Gail thanks for the plural hugs 😀 always wanted to see the Pacific side thanks for the invite!

  312. pb says:

    Good Morning SD’s & SB’s

  313. Gail says:

    Morning Sugars….

    Red Martu….hugs!!!! things will get better…and come to Cali…I have a nice pool here!!!
    Thank you Beach, Lisa, and climbing legs Cleo for the warm welcome back.

    I need coffee….back in a minute….

  314. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugarfam!
    Hey sparkling cleo!
    Three things I could use right now: Sugar (well duh!) , a hug, and some words of encouragement. Oh and a nice clear refreshing pool its already 85 and climbing outside. Okay that’s four…(sheepish look)

  315. amber fair is in the eye of the beholder, if it feels fair to you then it is… if it doesn’t it doesn’t. if you are making a decision from desperation instead of your own wants it’s probably going to haunt you… how’s that?
    RC msb: love that post you started, bet guru will post it when he gets back from vacation and clears out his inbox *grin*

    as for the jerkwads who volunteer oh my word i think you TOTALLY have it, it even jives with some of the things he said! holy cow thank you! i could NOT understand how a guy would drop all that cash and then bail on dinner, it was truly one of the oddest dating experiences of my life. funnily enough i had two other really strange experiences that same weekend (including getting picked up by the guy to whom i cleared customs on the way home! lol)
    welcome back gail/texasugah great to see you guys again!
    beach: i think there’s a higher percentage of women in the sugar bowl with entitlement attitudes, but there’s also a lot of women like you or me or midwest hiding in the haystacks if people are willing to look for the needle…

    i wonder if it has anything to do with their personal lives… it seems to me a woman who felt fulfilled in her work (even if it didn’t make her rich) *might* be less likely to “go greedy” on an SD just because she sees he has more than she thought… that said, if the SD were the “nickel and dime” type who winces at a 300 dollar price tag but buys himself a yacht in front of his sb later that same day then maybe i could get it…

    but then some of us are here for money and some for experiences we couldn’t afford ourselves and some for that naughty feeling that sugar gives them and some for all of the above right…?

    oh there’s my client! (second one, first was a no show, i could have been sleeping! lol)

  316. Beach_Girl says:

    Risto~ hahah the typist messes up here too 😀 lol… she is too darn tired! ahhahah
    Greed or the I deserve more… sucks, i’m sorry it happened, it’s not how it’s supposed to be!

  317. Risto says:

    I think it the lack of any real logic behind it. It just came across as… hmm…. he has more money than I thought… therefore… he should give me more….

    There was nothing at all about how me giving her more was going to be mutually beneficial. There wasn’t any logic behind it. If she had come and said to me, “I have been really stressing about this debt I have. If you could help me out with it, above and beyond what you are doing, I would be so grateful and it would reduce my stress, and it would let me be less stressed when I am with you.” I might have said ok. (This was not the case… just an illustration.) But the sum of the logic was he has more than I thought, therefore I DESERVE more.

    • Risto says:

      Let me try that first sentence again….

      I think the thing that bothered me about it was the lack of any real logic in the request.

      (Note to self… fire this typist… get a new one… oh wait… can’t fire myself)

  318. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello sugars!

    Risto~ I think, from what I read, that she seemed entitled to more… your reaction was normal , maybe you felt like a walking ATM, which is not how it’s supposed to be! Welcome by the way

    Amber L~ I don’t like the pay per date, me personally. I think if you are open and honest with him, he should understand that you work and have limited time. If he wants more he should ask. Communication is very important. I don’t know about time limits, I would say, it’s ok… if you are working, you need to be home by this time… To each his own, you have to make sure it’s ok with him… we all want and need different things
    Welcome 😀

    Gail~ so nice to see you back here 😀 how have you been?

    RC msb~ love that idea. I think that we could add to it, but my brain is so tired I cannot think of anything to add right this moment lol

  319. Amber L says:

    Great blog, I love it! I was wondering, what do all the other SB’s out there think about a time-limit on dates? At least the first couple? I met a very sweet guy (once) we agreed to a allowance on a date-by-date arrangement; since he travels, and i work full time. I hate giving someone X amount of hours, but at the same time, I do need to sleep/work 🙂 I usually say lets have dinner/lunch/shopping/spa/movie, and spend a few hours together, maybe more maybe less depending on our schedules, does that seem fair? Or do SD’s deserve a unlimited time limit for dates? Am i being completely irrational!? He insists he wants to take his time, and not be rushed- but in my opinion a three or four hour date is NOT rushing, and for a marginal allowance, I feel like im being fair. But what does everyone else think?

  320. Risto says:

    In response to the questions / comments about the “re-negotiation” situation with my ex-SB… I have been thinking some about why I reacted the way that I did. I guess it really came down to an attitude thing. Had she come to me and

    a) acknowledged that we had an agreement
    b) acknowledged that I was living up to my end of the agreement
    c) offered an explanation / reason why a higher allowance was called for…

    My reaction might have been different.

    But what she did was the equivalent of walking into your bosses office, looking him in the eye and saying, you are underpaying me and you need pay me more, turning around and walking out. That never ends well.

    And yes, the travel and shopping were part of the arrangement… and she traveled, even when traveling alone to meet me somewhere… in the same style as she did when she was traveling with me.

  321. Texasugah says:

    Hello all…

    I’ve been away from the blog FOREVER. Partially because of the previously negative tone but that seems to have dissipated.

    Hey Midwest, Honey…

    The sugarbowl has been pretty sweet to me. No, I haven’t met the millionaire sugar but the sugars that I have bumped into have been wonderful.

    I think that those who are truly rich are so used to getting their way that they rub me the wrong way. I end up resisting.. but….

    I hope that everyone had a great 4th. I’ll go back and read and catch up with everyone.


  322. Lisa says:

    Hey Gail I was worried about you, thought you’d found the ultimate sd and forgot about all of us.

  323. Gail says:

    Greeting Everyone…I am back on the planet 🙂

  324. Lisa says:

    edit “model” was used twice, just got home from work a few minutes ago, anyway always use a blog name, too much info can get out on a public blog.

  325. Lisa says:

    Good afternoon everyone. Well we are finally getting some needed rain.

    Sylvia Khalan: I looked at your website, it seems you are a plus size model, adult performer, model, etc? Not sure if you are here to promote business or not, you seem to ask so many questions about the SA meets and all, thought maybe you were a gossip reporter. I know those meetings are sometimes kept low because many of the members who attend need discretion. Anyway everyone should use a blog name rather than their real name on any public blog.

  326. RC msb says:

    I am reposting this hopefully without the HMTL mess I made of the last one…

    I’ve been thinking it might be a good idea to have a ‘SA blog tips & tricks’ page available to new members. This way we could direct new members to all those questions we’ve already answered many times before.

    I have thrown together a few suggestions below.

    Any other ideas would be greatly appreciated and helpful to us all.

    SA Blog Tips & Tricks

    – Selecting a handle/Nickname you wish to use on the blog. –

    You may choose any reasonable handle you wish for the SA blog, however….

    IT SHOULD NOT BE YOUR FULL REAL NAME! This poses a huge security risk to you. This site is searchable by Google and other search engines. If someone searches your name this site will appear in the results. You may even wish to avoid using a unique handle that you use on other sites.

    If you have already made this error you may ask Stephen to expunge it from SA’s Copy. It will still be cached and linger on most search engines for a month or so, but will eventually go away.

    – How to Link your SA profile (or another site) to your name –

    You have the ability to link your profile, personal site, or whatever site you wish to your name. When someone clicks your name they will be taken to your link.

    If it is your profile simply copy your profile URL into the ‘website’ box and delete the part that says “member/same”.
    Most other links can be pasted in without adjustment.

    – How to create your own photo/Icon/avatar –

    You have the ability to link a photo, avatar, or other graphic that will appear next to your name.

    Go to the site: gravatar DOT com
    This site will allow you to link a photo to whichever email address you use on SA.

    Note, the photo links to the email you use, so whatever photo you use will appear on ALL SITES that you use that email for if they are Gravatar enabled sites. Some people use site specific emails to avoid this issue.

    Also note that when you change the photo it changes it for every post you’ve ever made.

    Finally note that Gravatar can take up to an hour to reset or create your photo link. Be patient.

    – How to add pictures to your posts –

    You have the ability to add photos or other images to your post themselves,

    To do this you must have the photo uploaded to a photo hosting site first. There are numerous ones available that allow free hosting. Tinypic DOT com is a good one that includes a direct link to your photo without making you join, pay or jump through hoops.

    Once your photo is uploaded and you have the direct link simply click the line under the ‘Post Comment’ button that says “You can add images to your comment by clicking here” Paste in the direct link and your set.

    – Adding special HTML features to your post –

    The blog supports a number of common HTML tags such as strong text, or block quote that you may use to liven up or clarify certain parts of your posts.

    If you do not know how to use HTML tags there are a number of sites where you can learn to use them. Mostly they are pretty simple and straightforward to use.

    The ones supported by the SA blog are :

    They are also listed just above the ‘Post Comment’ button.

    – The Blog does not support private messaging or chat rooms –

    If you wish to contact a member off blog, you can post a message on the blog to the “Blog Gods” AKA Stephen to give your email address to the person you wish to talk to. Stephen is a busy guy, so give him some time to do this.

    – Remember at all times this is a public blog –

    Anyone can access it at any time. Do not say anything you wish to keep private.
    Do not reveal personal information or anything that might expose you to identity theft.

    – Please follow blog guidelines at all times –

    Debate is OK, BUT…..Trashing people, Flame wars, and other childish behavior is not. This blog is populated by adults and you are expected to act that way. When you attack a member of this blog, the person you are attacking does not look bad. You do! We have seen it all before and it is not impressive.

    Any other thoughts or ideas???????????

  327. RC msb says:

    SD Guru – Right on both counts.

    “It’s always better to leave on a high note and on your own terms!”

    I am mulling still myself, but whether it’s a sports figure, an actor, singer, or even a TV sitcom, we remember and respect the ones that left the stage while the audience was still applauding.

  328. Sylvia Khalan says:

    Just grinning at RC msb and his comments to Cleo regarding jerkwads volunteering.

    I totally understand that, the way you described it.

    Ah, what a nice day in St. Louis….I’m being audited, and my missing file cabinets have been found! ALAS some reprieve….and the day continues on my day off from work!

  329. RC msb says:


  330. RC msb says:

    I’ve been thinking it might be a good idea to have a ‘SA blog tips & tricks’ page available to new members. This way we could direct new members to all those questions we’ve already answered many times before.

    I have thrown together a few suggestions below.

    Any other ideas would be greatly appreciated and helpful to us all.

    SA Blog Tips & Tricks

    – Selecting a handle/Nickname you wish to use on the blog. –

    You may choose any reasonable handle you wish for the SA blog, however….

    IT SHOULD NOT BE YOUR FULL REAL NAME! This poses a huge security risk to you. This site is searchable by Google and other search engines. If someone searches your name this site will appear in the results. You may even wish to avoid using a unique handle that you use on other sites.

    If you have already made this error you may ask Stephen to expunge it from SA’s Copy. It will still be cached and linger on most search engines for a month or so, but will eventually go away.

    – How to Link your SA profile (or another site) to your name –

    You have the ability to link your profile, personal site, or whatever site you wish to your name. When someone clicks your name they will be taken to your link.

    If it is your profile simply copy your profile URL into the ‘website’ box and delete the part that says “member/same”.
    Most other links can be pasted in without adjustment.

    – How to create your own photo/Icon/avatar –

    You have the ability to link a photo, avatar, or other graphic that will appear next to your name.

    Go to the site: gravatar DOT com
    This site will allow you to link a photo to whichever email address you use on SA.

    Note, the photo links to the email you use, so whatever photo you use will appear on ALL SITES that you use that email for if they are Gravatar enabled sites. Some people use site specific emails to avoid this issue.

    Also note that when you change the photo it changes it for every post you’ve ever made.

    Finally note that Gravatar can take up to an hour to reset or create your photo link. Be patient.

    – How to add pictures to your posts –

    You have the ability to add photos or other images to your post themselves,

    To do this you must have the photo uploaded to a photo hosting site first. There are numerous ones available that allow free hosting. Tinypic DOT com is a good one that includes a direct link to your photo without making you join, pay or jump through hoops.

    Once your photo is uploaded and you have the direct link simply click the line under the ‘Post Comment’ button that says “You can add images to your comment by clicking here” Paste in the direct link and your set.

    – Adding special HTML features to your post –

    The blog supports a number of common HTML tags such as strong text, or block quote that you may use to liven up or clarify certain parts of your posts.

    If you do not know how to use HTML tags there are a number of sites where you can learn to use them. Mostly they are pretty simple and straightforward to use.

    The ones supported by the SA blog are :

    They are also listed just above the 'Post Comment' button.

    - The Blog does not support private messaging or chat rooms -

    If you wish to contact a member off blog, you can post a message on the blog to the "Blog Gods" AKA Stephen to give your email address to the person you wish to talk to. Stephen is a busy guy, so give him some time to do this.

    - Remember at all times this is a public blog -

    Anyone can access it at any time. Do not say anything you wish to keep private.
    Do not reveal personal information or anything that might expose you to identity theft.

    - Please follow blog guidelines at all times -

    Debate is OK, BUT.....Trashing people, Flame wars, and other childish behavior is not. This blog is populated by adults and you are expected to act that way. When you attack a member of this blog, the person you are attacking does not look bad. You do! We have seen it all before and it is not impressive.

    Any other thoughts or ideas???????????

  331. RC msb says:

    Hello Sparkling Cleo! (I just love seeing that handle on you)

    But onward to the point…

    I actually might be able to shed some light on your SD mystery. What you describe may well be a condition I call self-penance. This is an extremely common behavior in the field of volunteerism. You see most people think that volunteers are just altruistic people, or perhaps someone who is paying back a previous kindness. And some are, but the largest group of volunteers I’ve met are total jerkwads that are balancing their otherwise obnoxious behavior with a single decent act.

    For example: I may be a fire breathing dictator to my employees, but I volunteer at the battered womens shelter every weekend. So I’m actually a nice person.

    Or perhaps: I may be a rude insufferable ass to my dates, but I’ll buy them anything they look at. So I’m actually a nice person.

    See what I mean. Very few people go to sleep at night believing they are the jerk. Some lie to themselves, some rationalize, and some perform self-penance.

    This may or may not be the answer, but it’s something to consider.

  332. sd guru: i’m not either, which i believe i said myself yesterday *grin* – need to sit with it a spell and figure out why it bugged me so much – maybe because it felt so definitive from her… maybe i was feeling defensive about something else… maybe maybe maybe, i haven’t figured it out myself 🙂

    i suspect you’re right about risto’s sb, but there are classy and not so classy ways to ask for more and it didn’t sound like she did it with any respect for his responses… i mean really, how many times does a man have to say no before you hear him?

    that said, i could talk about the iguy who flew me to another country and when i refused to shag him after dinner the first night (i didn’t refuse at all, just said it was too fast for me since i had met him all of 2 hours earlier and we hadn’t done much emailing) he was a rude ass the rest of the weekend and yet he dropped $2500 on shopping with me. it was the weirdest thing… there he was being a total and utter jerk and yet saying at the exact same time “oh no, take that second pair of louboutins”

    i’ve discussed said date with a few friends and not one of us can make heads nor tails of it. he acted, financially, in all ways the perfect sd BUT he was so rude and so mean that it would have been impossible to like him. i mean things like ignoring me to stare at his phone for an entire meal (not that first dinner, then he was charming and affable and i really liked him – it was just WAY too fast for me) and telling me i was a waste of air (at which point i tried to redirect the cabbie to my hotel but he didn’t hear me and instead we ended up at selfridges where he “better buy you a dress since i’m such a jerk” and then he promptly bailed on dinner that night and since i returned home he never answered my email again. by which i mean he didn’t even acknowledge my “home safe” that he asked me to send)

    it makes absolutely no sense to me but i had a great weekend so what do i care? (the hotel bar was hopping and had great bands every night… jazz trio or quartet doing old standards jazz style… really great) but i’m sure he could come on here and tell the story of that weekend from his perspective and i’d come out sounding what? over sensitive, ungrateful, frigid…?

  333. Naughty Molly says:

    Sylvia ~ I’ve never attended a sugar party.

    Good Mornin’ everyone! 😀

  334. Lucie says:

    Hi Everybody,
    A bit new here. Read the blog when I get the chance, but I’m a busy bee, and it can be tough to keep up!
    Anyway, I could use some advice. I’ve got a travel offer. An SD wants to fly me from Paris to Boston for a week sometime this month. These are the details he gave me:
    “1. You will stay in your quality hotel room (sure I will pay).
    2. During your stay (let’s say a week) we can meet almost every day. Sometimes 1-2 hours some times 4-5 hours. I won’t stay overnight with you.”
    He said he would take care of all travel expenses, and asked how much I would like on top.
    I’m really not sure what to ask. I generally get between 250 and 500 per date, but I’m not sure how to factor that into a week stay with back-to-back visits.
    Can anyone tell me about short-term travel arrangements they’ve had? I was thinking 3-5k, considering that I would likely see him in the one week as many times as I would see an allowance-SD in a month. Fair?

  335. SD Guru says:

    my SB wanted to re-negotiate our arrangement and was looking for a substantially larger allowance… She is now my ex-SB. I think the thing that really killed it for me was the “I deserve it” attitude.

    Thanks for sharing your experience on the blog. Based on what you described you certainly made the right decision. While no one likes to deal with an entitlement attitude and there is no excuse for her behavior, I’d like to explore the situation from a different angle. The arrangement you had included an allowance, was the extravagant travel and shopping part of the arrangement or at your discretion? Perhaps you had spoiled her with your lavish lifestyle which unintentionally raised her expectations to unrealistic levels. If she had approached the re-negotiation of allowance with a more mature attitude, would that have made a difference?

    I am curious as to the experiences of both SD’s and SB’s with significant age differences.

    In a normal dating scenario, most successful men can probably attract women up to ten years younger. But to reach for 15-20+ years younger it will usually require some form of sugar. Most of my SB’s are in that range.

    @NYC SB
    Wish I had Guru’s camera (or any good camera) to capture the fireworks…

    You can borrow my camera any time, and don’t forget the photographer comes with the camera! 😛

    i’m actually offended on behalf of myriad sane and beautiful women i know…

    The correlation between hotness and drama was recently mentioned by LASB and seconded by Michael. I’m not sure why you didn’t respond to those comments but reacted to Midwest’s comment the way you did. ❓

    Why is it that SD’s are so scared ( not to say the least bit of interest ) to date Choclateley SB babes?

    The issue of race (and other sensitive topics like age and weight) has been discussed many times in the blog and Honey just provided some good feedback. There are also numerous blogs by chocolate sugars that could provide insight into their approach. Here are two examples: “Cocoa Sugarbaby” and “Chocolate Sugarbabe“. You could also network with other SB’s on FB to share your experiences.

    @RC msb
    I hate when a song defines what you’re going through so much that you can’t get it out of your mind. The song ‘Leaving on a Jet plane’ has been driving me crazy lately….

    I know the feeling… some of my most intense sugar experiences have been defined by songs as seen in my blog.

    I am near or past my expiration date… It is better to walk off the field than to be carried off… But if in the end I decide to leave, it will be under my own steam and on a very high note. You can’t ask for much more than that.

    Sounds like you’re thinking about your sugar end game and I know that feeling as well. I’m taking time during my vacay to reflect on my sugar experiences and contemplate the future and will be making some major decisions soon. It’s always better to leave on a high note and on your own terms!

  336. LL cool babe says:

    Beach sorry my bad…..for some reason I thought you were in Toronto 😛 Marketing is hard to do without the funds which is why my biz is at a stand-stilll at the moment. :'(

    RC thanks for sending out the flashy message, it may not have posted earlier but the vibes were sent cause I found my way back to the blog…got to love how the invisible vibe gets sent through the universe 😀

  337. Honey says:

    Hello everybody!! Hope everyone had a great fourth.
    Feedback for Slyvia…I have mentioned race in the game. Color makes no real difference, it’s your attitude,really. yes, Media,Hollywood,Hugh Hefner, adore blondes and size 2 chickies,but that has never stopped me.Many men of many races have found me attractive, the ones that don’t find me attractive,I don’t date.I’ll never be blonde and yet I manage to do well. I don’t wanna be a blonde,I don’t hate them either.Some of my best friends are blondes…lol I am happy with my shade,HUE,COLOR, whatever, some my find me too dark for their taste(funny though, a lot of guys of many races are always crossing the color line for the first time with me. You would think that maybe they would transition from high yellow, to redbone,(Isn’t it rather silly, they names we have…?) to the darker hues, rather just jump straight into the jungle fever thing!) It’s how you let, expect, make and demand guy treat you,it’s NOT all about color, I promise.Don’t make me expound upon how much I love my brown skin and how all my boyfriends loved it too…(it’s just so soft,people,women even, when they touch my arm for hug are always commenting how soft I am…oops sorry, didn’t mean to go there..I digressed when I wasn’t looking…
    Don’t let other people believe black is not beautiful.People can have their opinions,people can have there preferences, but that is all they are. TRUST ME ON THIS….Get a gravatar and show some brown skin! Represent!! It’s all a confidence game.. I don’t see being darker hued as a handicap. Never bothered me…

  338. RC msb says:

    Hey Beach Welcome back!

  339. Beach_Girl says:

    Sparkling Cleo~ I still have my same bikini too. I haven’t lost any weight though… I could lose a few pounds though, I know it’s because I don’t have time to exercise at all… i’m exhausted most of the time and working all the time.
    Yeah, I think any pants that are long for you would be ok for me… I do have longer legs than you! Next time i’m in TO hahhah maybe soon though, will let you know 😀 oh facebooking you right now lol…
    Wouldn’t it be awesome to have more money to invest in marketing? I would love that. I did spend some money for radio ads, they will start next week… I can’t wait to see how that will work. It’s at lunchtime and afternoons… hope it was worth it!

  340. RC Hammer says:


    So I tried to post this sign tonight…

    And it didn’t go through. So I tried again and it said I had already posted it.


    So anyway WELCOME BACK!

  341. beach: well i’m still wearing my bathing suit from 25 pounds ago… weirdly enough it works lol

    i could swap shirts with you and i’m thinner now so any pants that are too long for me i’ll put in a bag for you… anything long enough for my arms will be fine with you right?

    yeah i know what you mean, it took like a year and a half for my marketing efforts to take effect… i wish i had more money, i’d hire an assistant and have a better marketing budget!

  342. Beach_Girl says:

    LL~ Hi! nice to get a nice trip to the beach… ahhh I wish…
    Girl i’m not in Tdot… i’m in Montreal

  343. Beach_Girl says:

    sparkling cleo~ business is very slow, but it will get there. Marketing and such takes time, since I am learning at the same time… it takes longer!
    Nice shoes… omg, I wish I had someone that I could swap clothes with… I am too tall for that and thinner than them too 🙁 it’s ok, I manage with what I have.
    No SD in sight for me, so no shopping spree either 🙁 … I haven’t had time to search at all either… way too busy with work! I should try and make time, getting my business started is very, very, very, very hard! did I say “VERY” lol I am getting there though
    The Cirque is here every summer… it’s not like in Vegas, but still awesome nice! I go every year… or try to.

  344. LL cool babe says:

    Hey Cleo & beach…didn’t refresh before posting….we Tdot gals need to arrange a night out soon 😉

  345. LL cool babe says:

    Hey, hey, hey!!!

    It’s been a long week away from the blog…I am glad to be back online catching up on all the craziness Happy belated Canada’s Day and Independence Day 😀

    LL took a week long vacation soaking up the gorgeous sun hidden away in the hills at the beachfront property. Well rested and a little technology deprived mind you…no cell phone service or internet access :S

    I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the pot SD and I will actually have coordinating schedules this week to get our arrangement underway…Thursday is the target as long as he can accommodate my timeframe……SOOOOOOOOO much going on that day!

    RC – Glad to see you back on the blog 😉

    Welcome to the blog Risto and bummer on the gold digger you encountered 🙁

    NM – run the hair dry by your ear it will help a lot…trust me, I’ve already had bilateral jaw surgery to repair on of the disks and the other sadly had to be removed and replaced with a prosthetic all at the ripe old age of 26 (the common age for such surgery is 50) due to severe TMJ. Also, when you find your TMJ acting up and tense use an over the counter muscle relaxer – it’s the only medicinal therapy my surgeon recommends 🙂

    Hi to everyone else 😉

  346. ps omg cirque you lucky girl! i hear it’s amazing!

  347. beach i did some gardening in a bikini at my parent’s place and i take my spare hours and lie in the park across the street when i can. just a little at a time, let my skin get used to it sanely…

    well yeah, google “rupert sanderson manon” and click on the ones that are at the store of the same name – i tried them on and they were SO comfy and i realized that they would basically be gorgeous and maybe even all day wearable, they had enough promise that i sucked it up and bought them.

    rupert sanderson is known for comfort and i fully adore my other pair. that said, i don’t need more, i can now match most of my outfits… there are niches i’d love to fill but i can wear my wardrobe now which is a nice change. that said, i can’t afford another shoe accident this summer so let’s hope we both have magical sd’s land in our laps *grin*

    i had to rebuild my wardrobe from scratch, even my shoe size changed when i got to my right weight (serious, went from a 40/41.5 to a 39.5/40 (40.5 in louboutin – which weird right?) and none of my old clothes fit in any way shape or form – think large sacks. i’ve been blessed to attend fantastic clothing swaps, have a great rotating thing going with a friend as we both lose weight and pass things back and forth and have some great sugar shopping sprees so i have a wardrobe i’m really grateful for.

    i never could have done it if i’d had to buy it all new… but somehow as i give things away and make space new things appear…

    is oyur business slowly improving too?

  348. Beach_Girl says:

    Sparkling Cleo~ Awww , thank you!!! Business is slow for me too… the only thing I do is work and go to school…. It’s insane… I am going to see U2 this week and the Cirque du soleil at the end of the month… but that is it… I am putting everything in my business so, no money for fun!!!
    How an allowance would help right? I am loving my products and such… it just takes time to take off… slowly but i’m gonna get there!! 😀
    a tan??? I wish, I spent a few hours in the sun working… but It takes a lot for me to tan… I will get there!
    Shoe accident? what?

    Welcome to all the new face as well, forgot that 😀

  349. seriously is this “be nice to cleo” week? cause if it is i like it. hell i just got called a godsend (i matchmake everything, in this case a declawed cat with a house full of carpet and an owner who was prepared to declaw a kitten if need be!)
    RC msb: well sugar or otherwise i get the vibe that you’re a catch and that you will always have lovely men after you…

    truly i’m a little surprised myself, i like do the list and beyond being unable to check “excellent at simpering and acting super adoring and worshipfull” i think i get most of the boxes! *chuckling*
    beach: aw honey i think you’re a giant gem yourself, heck your legs are even longer than mine and you’re so beautiful and sweet. i’ve been pretty good, slowly slowly saving my business, had a shoe accident that was meant to be and um… that’s about it… getting a tan?


  350. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!
    Sparkling cleo~ love that, you are a real gem, amazing personality and stunning, sparkling and all of the above hotness! how have you been?
    Midwest, Alleycat, Lisa, Redmaru, belle, RCmsb, NYC, TLG, Anna ~ Hey!!!

  351. sylvia btw i’m assuming that isn’t your real name? i hope hope hope? 🙂

    to get your pic beside your name go to gravatar dot com and register the email you use here and it will match up

    • Sylvia Khalan says:

      I guess the party in NYC was fake? Just a think that Seeking Arrangement posted but none of the folks that post here attended.

      Hmmm, i wonder.

  352. @RC msb….thank you for replying….:) its kinda difficult to get true responses here…without being jumped over by lots of other convos…:) again, thank you….

    can’t wait to find out who went to the party! and how it was. sounds like a good event for promotion and to meet potential SD’s.

  353. RC msb says:

    Sparkling Cleo! I Love it! – Though it might be fun to occasionally alternate it with ‘Stunning Cleo’ just to keep it fresh. Good for the ego too.

    Sweet of you to say. Honestly at the moment I just don’t want to go backwards. But the decision isn’t made yet. I need time to think it through.

    You should definitely be proud, Looks, brains, and endless legs. It’s astonishing to me that you don’t need a baseball bat to keep the SD’s at bay.

  354. RC msb says:

    Sylvia –

    1. Take your profile URL and copy it to the ‘Website’ section of your post. Once it’s copied over remove the part that says member/same

    2. You can ask the blog gods to share your email with another member. To do this post something like “Hey blog gods! would you please send my email to……….”

    3. Not me.

  355. rc msb if you talk the way you write i don’t see you ever having a best before date. your personality will keep you attractive forever. that said, you are done when it’s time to be done right?

    regarding weight etc, i am really proud of myself, it’s a hell of an accomplishment and it just fuels the desire to be in ever better shape… that battles with the never ending desire for french fries and so i stay just soft enough (i get yelled at if i get more than five pounds lighter than this… and i listen when people who love me say things like that) … it’s lovely to feel like you own your body

    a friend used to have a sticker he loved, it said ‘a fit woman is a powerful woman’ and i always wondered why it didn’t say person…

    thanks for my new name 🙂

  356. Naughty Molly says:

    Thanks for the tips everyone! Its my TMJ acting up, I just have to tough it out for a little while. 🙂

  357. Sylvia Khalan says:

    1. Lisa, Legs, etc….how did you get a profile linked on this blog beside your names?…hmmm, trying to figure this blog out.

    2. If i wanted to contact one of you sb’s without posting it, how can I do it. I’ve tried clicking on your name/s but it takes me to another blog where I have to sign in…and its just not working.


    Did any of you ladies or gents attend the Seeking Arrangement’s dance/social in NYC last month?

  358. Aww, we’ve had a good tun together :/ Anyhow, happier topics!! How’s the sugarlife, dollies?

  359. Lisa says:

    Sorry about oliver 🙁

  360. Lisa says:

    Sorry about your ear ache AnnaMolly. I haven’t had one of those in years but always used a hot towel since I didn’t have a heating pad.

    RedMaru, I have to take two showers a day to cool off, i’m always so hot and sweaty after work. Wearing dark blue and black when it’s 100 degrees doesn’t help much.
    I’ve got the ceiling fan and regular fan on, sitting in my bed already at 730. Too lazy to walk tonight, it’s too hot.

  361. yeah, speaking of cats, mine’s dying… it’s been a good 12 years oliver 🙁

  362. RC msb says:

    Lisa – Thanks. Yep, John wrote it and PP&M made it famous.

    Midwest – I think his reason may have been to be my best and very last SD. I don’t think of that as a bad thing at all. Quite the opposite. I have enjoyed the sugar lifestyle for a long time. It has afforded me a thriving business and more good friends than I once thought possible. While extra money is always nice, I honestly don’t need it anymore.

    Also I am well aware that even in my niche within a niche I am near or past my expiration date. I just had my most successful sugar relationship, and It is better to walk off the field than to be carried off.

    None of this is set in stone. I resolved to take a sabbatical after this relationship ended some time ago. But if in the end I decide to leave, it will be under my own steam and on a very high note. You can’t ask for much more than that.

    In any case, it’s what I’ll be cooking in my head for the next few months. Time will tell.

    Cleo – Personally I always think of you as Sparkling Cleo, because of your personality that shines through your posts, but I have no doubt that if I met you I’d find you stunning as well. Thanks so much for the kind words.

    BTW I think we’ve chewed some of the same dirt when it comes to our weight. I had similar issues with my weight years ago. Now I work out daily and have a better physique than most men half my age. It’s something I’m proud of. You should be proud too.

    Naughty Molly – Sorry to hear about the ear ache. I know they suck. The only thing I can recommend is sweet oil, Ibuprofen, and a heating pad, but I’m sure you already knew that. Hope it gets better soon.

    Sending a cool breeze to everyone else…..

  363. RedMaru says:

    I know I think Im going to need another shower. Wonder how my cat manages sometimes with all that fur

  364. Hey RedMaru 🙂 Yeah this summer heat is KILLER! Currently finding new and exciting ways to keep cool -.- haha

  365. RedMaru says:

    Afternoon sugars! All that talk about a pool makes me want to find one to jump in. Right now I have to be content with splashing water on myself and sitting in front of the fan. Trying to keep the electric bill down, though the fan is blowing hot air.
    Hey BelleSugarbaby!
    Hey NaughtyMolly Sorry bout your earache hun! Hope it gets better

  366. Naughty Molly says:

    Hey Midwest! Good to see ya! 😀

    How is everyone doing this afternoon? I’m nursing a stupid earache… :p

  367. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    stone cold dead!

  368. and to be honest, I’m pretty sure no sugar daddy is on here to find a girl who refuses to work to make things better for herself. Most of the men I’ve met like strong women who are working towards a goal. Not women who are just looking for someone to depend on.

  369. You didn’t offend me in the least, lol
    I just think it’s, well, pretty pathetic that you come onto this blog complaining about everything and everything… a lot of people have it a whole heck of a lot worse. It seems like you want everyone to pity you. Quit with the ‘woe is me’ attitude. If you hate your life so much, then pick yourself off the ground and find a way to make it better!

  370. Lisa says:

    Sorry I offended you, please just skip my posts if they bother you.

  371. So do I. But I’m not complaining to the world..

  372. Lisa says:

    Belle Sugarbaby it seems I find myself up against constant challenges and lack many of the resources that other people have. I live in a car obsessed city without a car, I walk or take the bus everywhere whereas most of my coworkers have cars (because most still live at home with mommy) but if their car breaks down, rather than take the bus , they call in.

  373. @lisa… how do you make your life out to be such a tragedy…

  374. Lisa says:

    and of course my trash bill went up a dollar to 6 dollars as well as the new drainage fee we have to pay thanks to our wonderful mayor. I guess the water bill will stay the same. The apartment bills us for these items separately. Mine comes to about 25 dollars a month in addition to rent

  375. Lisa says:

    NYC SB, I’ve got to keep the faith as i’ll die before I ever move from here, I love it here.
    Midwest I just signed a lease for 1 year, they offered me an 8 month and a year and I took the year, there is no discount really except if you don’t sign a lease the rent is 110 more a month. They also have corporate leases here for business people in town for a few months. Well i’m short 20 because i’m getting a 20 dollar raise in a couple weeks, wow. Of course if I wasn’t paying 30 dollars a month in union dues, I wouldn’t get that raise so I don’t know if it’s a win or loss. Only thing in Texas they can fire you at will, if I wasn’t a union member, I would have probably been fired last year because of my depression. So my rent is locked in at 620 a month till sept 2012. New lease doesn’t start till sept 2011 but they renew them 60 days in advance here instead of 30 days.

  376. so i ordered these shoes and somehow i got the size wrong so i checked the website and no more existed in my actual size and i contemplated crazy hacking to get them to fit but small is small… and then, finally, i emailed about returning them and packed them back in their box and basically felt deeply sad…

    and then? amazing! they have my size even if the website doesn’t know it!

    it is amazing what cheers a girl *grin*
    nyc sb: cool i look forward to it!

    okay must drag self away from laptop now

  377. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    NYC SB – The essence of some fireworks cannot be captured! I’m sure he would agree 😉

    Hi AM!

    Lisa – It’s a stretch, but sometimes if you agree to a longer lease, they will remove the rent increase. You can also see if they have less expensive units available or coming up. The good news is that they offered a renewal when you were afraid they wouldn’t, so I’m sure they are reasonable when they have a reliable tenant.

  378. NYC SB says:

    Midwest – My weekend was awesome as well mistress! Probably best 4th of July ever… Wish I had Guru’s camera (or any good camera) to capture the fireworks…very happy girl here 🙂

    Cleo – sometimes we draw inspiration from the most unlikely sources. I just finished a book you might enjoy. I will send you the name via fb … Its truly helping me deal with my trust issues etc 🙂

    Lisa – very sorry to hear about the rent increase… Facing the possibility of losing a home you love is a feeling I am all too familiar with

    Nico! Long time chica

  379. Naughty Molly says:

    Hi everyone! Hope you all had a great 4th! 😀

  380. okay i has commenting to do from before i lost it about hot vs crazy (and then i forgot to post this for a minute)
    interestingly in the meantime risto’s youtube video posted and is hilarious.
    Nico: thanks! sdinla told me my handle wasn’t sexy enough and i should be like “kinky cleo” but that seemed like stepping on naughty molly’s toes so… since that’s one of my common comments when i’m wearing heels… (they usually say endless but “endless legs cleo” sounds uber lame… even lamer than SAYING uber lame!) – it feels weird though, i might have to stop with it lol
    RC msb: thanks, sometimes the really really right words magically come out of me and i always like when someone points it out since i rarely notice. to me all my words are perfect *snicker*
    Nobody Real: do you think chickening out might actually mean that they’ve decided they don’t want to sugar date or that they actually aren’t attracted to you? i mean my friend once said to me “silence can have a lot of reasons but they all look the same from the other side.”
    midwest: i love how the text was corrected, it’s actually a way better warning in general now! and that’s why i was so baffed, you just aren’t the type to say things like that! i am still intrigued by how hard i took it though, have some thinking to do.
    RC msb: oh honey *huggs*

    holy crap can you write!

  381. *hugs* right back milady

    it’s funny right, i’ve known you for two years this october… time flies hey?

    for me it’s been fun watching you find a way to live your dream and go back to school, so great to see you do that for yourself and now i bet you feel so much more empowered!

    i do always figure that the things that get our backs up have something to teach us right?

  382. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Rephrase: Let that tender spot (on the inside) be grounding, but not painful.

  383. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    RC msb – I hope you can find smiles and great memories while you heal. They always say people come into your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime. Where did he fit in? (((hugs)))

    Cleo – No explanations necessary. We have known one another a long time and every once in a while, I can hit a nerve unintentionally. We have all traveled that road in some way, shape or form…it’s what makes us who we are. It also makes us appreciate the strength that lies within. Your evolution since I’ve met you has been incredible! You’ve worked on the outside, shown perseverance and displayed tremendous amounts of courage and confidence. Let that tender spot be grounding, but not painful. (((hugs)))

  384. midwest: i swear i’m not menstrual but man that comment got my back up something fierce. i’ll have to take a look inside at why…

    thank you for understanding why i might have been ticked, i’ve had so many assumptions about who i am painted on my cheekbones over the years i guess sometimes it’s more tender than others

    i’m not kidding, people take one look at my face and start telling me about myself without ever asking… or they tell me things like “you looked so hot i was ready to ravage you in an alley” and i’m thinking “did you ask if i even wanted to kiss you let alone get dirty in an alley with you?” the assumptions people make when you have a face shaped sort of like the current look in fashion models are amazing and i guess today was the day they bit me in the ass.

    people say things to me all the time “oh, you could have any man you want” (really? where is he?) or “you never have any trouble with dating” or “oh please like life could ever be hard for you” and i just stare agog and wonder how they think ANY single woman who is turning forty very very soon could have life as easy as all that. (although everyone is utterly refusing to believe that i’m gonna be forty next month, it’s getting funny)

    maybe my perspective is different. i gained 20 pounds when i was 19 and kept it on or added to it (but always at least 20 up from where i should live) and then at 30 i started to get a handle on my eating. so i got close to my perfect weight and was all in shape and feeling great and i got whiplash and broke and ballooned up to 235 crawling up the stairs to go to the bathroom pounds.

    i didn’t finally get a handle on food until you guys inspired me (have i thanked you this quarter yet for the inspiration y’all?) to take control of my own freaking life already… so i did and i feel great and i look “stunning” (god i love that word, it’s my new favorite) and maybe i’m really different because i spent 20 years being not hot before i got hot…

    but i see so many stereotypes pass through here, i guess it felt safe to get pissy about this one.

  385. Lisa says:

    Awww i’m sorry RC msb When you mentioned John Denver, I was confused but googled it and seen that he wrote the song but it was sung by peter paul and mary. I had several peter paul and marry records (those round things, lol) as a child and thought I remembered them singing that. Of course john denver went down in a plane.

  386. RC msb says:

    I hate when a song defines what you’re going through so much that you can’t get it out of your mind.
    The song ‘Leaving on a Jet plane’ has been driving me crazy lately. – So I mashed it with my own thoughts and made it my own.
    And now it is gone.

    – With apologies to John Denver.

    Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane
    Don’t know when I’ll be back again
    Oh babe, I hate to go

    We met for lunch,
    a place that’s new.
    We talked of all the things that we’d do.
    For time was short, so many things to try.

    Shows and plays,
    and steak well done.
    Some evenings filled with endless fun.
    We laughed so hard we both began to cry.

    So kiss me and smile for me
    Tell me that you’ll wait for me
    Hold me like you’ll never let me go

    We’d visit friends,
    of his and mine.
    We’d talk and laugh and have some wine.
    But sadness lurked that we could not deny.

    Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane
    Don’t know when I’ll be back again

    We don’t drink much,
    it’s not our style.
    But good scotch sometimes brings a smile.
    I bought us each a bottle we could try.

    Once each month,
    we’d take a shot.
    To remind us of the things we’ve got,
    and remember all that made both our hearts fly.

    All my bags are packed I’m ready to go
    I’m standin’ here outside your door
    I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

    The day came,
    that he had to leave.
    There wasn’t time for us to grieve.
    I smiled as I put on his favorite tie.

    But the dawn is breakin’ it’s early morn
    The taxi’s waitin’ he’s blowin’ his horn
    Already I’m so lonesome I could die

    We walked through the airport,
    side by side.
    So many things we try to hide.
    But then I saw a tear form in his eye.

    Now the time has come to leave you
    One more time let me kiss you
    Close your eyes I’ll be on my way

    We then shook hands,
    in the usual way.
    There’s things we choose not to display.
    But then we kissed and both began to cry.

    So kiss me and smile for me
    Tell me that you’ll wait for me
    Hold me like you’ll never let me go

    I stood there,
    and I watched the plane.
    With sadness I could not contain.
    I followed it till there was only sky.

    Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane
    Don’t know when I’ll be back again

    I turned away,
    I knew I must.
    I saw looks filled with pure disgust,
    I held my head up high as i walked by.

    So kiss me and smile for me
    Tell me that you’ll wait for me
    Hold me like you’ll never let me go

    I hurried home,
    to miss the rain.
    my heart was filled with bitter pain.
    And I felt so goddamn empty I could die.

    But my friends came visit,
    one by one.
    We talked until the morning sun,
    and as they left i knew I would get by.

    Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane
    Don’t know when I’ll be back again

    A day or two has passed since then,
    I drink a shot and think of him.
    I know now in my heart,
    that I’ll be fine.

    Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane
    Don’t know when I’ll be back again
    Oh babe, I hate to go

  387. Lisa says:

    Good morning everyone
    RC msb, i’d like to get off the advil (well the generic stuff I take) and on my days off like today when I can keep stress off my arm, I can do it but when i’m at work lifting heavy stuff, the pain quickly comes back as I have to be slow to unfold my arm in order to avoid the pain.

    Michael actually I have plenty of purses but they are empty, lol
    I don’t know if i’m too old to put my feet in the pool but I don’t see how they would cool me off, in this intense heat, i’d think you’d have to get in the water to cool down, not much fun just sitting out in the hot sun, it’s unbearable here this time of year. I’ve already got sunburned several times on my shoulders and neck (I know I know , I should be wearing sunscreen but that stuff is just too expensive so I have got into the habit of carrying my umbrella with me when I have to get out. I just wish my apartment was a little cooler. When I was out taking my walk last night I passed some apartments where people where going in or coming out and the cold air felt soooo good.

    Good news is i’m getting a small raise at work which after taxes come out to about 20 dollars amonth ( the current union contract is giving us a few cents raise for the next 3 years) however I got my lease renewal and my rent is going up 40 dollars, so i’m no better off.

    ok gotta get in the shower.

  388. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Cleo- I will ask to have it re-stated so that it doesn’t offend anyone who shares your opinion. I appreciate the insight.

    TLG – I believe it’s near Detroit.

  389. midwest you just told anyone who reads the blog to avoid hot women because they’re laced with drama, i recognize your use of the word ‘often’ but “don’t waste your time there” is a far more potent phrase.

    i’m just saying, it’s kind of like saying “we all know that young sb’s are immature and old sb’s are fat and filled with bitterness” and we shouldn’t be saying that kind of thing to each other at all.

    anyway… i have to go do something outside now

  390. The Lone Gunman says:


    Where ‘up North’?


  391. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Cleo – Anyone who knows me knows that I would NEVER insult you or any other hot woman who did not fall in that category. I did put “often” as a qualifier. You have much more confidence than to take that personally or to prove me right. 🙂 Sorry for morning jolt.

    BTW – Good morning to all the hot, drama-free sbs!

  392. midwest i don’t know how to take your comment – i’m told constantly that i’m stunning, are you stating categorically that i therefore come with drama attached ? or are they all lying and i’m actually NOT hot?

    sorry but i’m actually offended on behalf of myriad sane and beautiful women i know… so much so i didn’t read a word after “we’ve all come to realise” not one, nor did i comment on anything from BEFORE THAT since my astonishment blew them out of my head… holy wow what a load of bull patooey and from someone normally so reasonable and unlikely to make such blanketly offensive comments.


    [stop typing cleo… if you keep typing you’re going to get seriously offensive… stop cleo you can do it]

  393. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    TLG – Scuba starts soon! I’m so excited. The bummer is that the certification dive will be in December…up North 🙁

  394. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Good morning sugars! Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend! I had a BLAST!!!!!

    Risto – Welcome to our little community! It’s too bad your SB couldn’t look past your wallet to see what an amazing opportunity she just experienced and the possibility of other ways you could provide. Instead she was looking for the fall couture line. I hope she put some of that sugar to the side and hope she doesn’t have to sell that beautiful “dress” on E-bay to pay her phone bill. Know that many sugars here have much bigger goals that go beyond what is in the closet! As far as age differences go, my SDs have only been 15-20 years my senior, but I’m also in my 40s so the level of maturity wasn’t significant. I’m currently in an IRL relationship with a man 11 years younger and I do find the generational differences wrt dating norms, behaviors, etc to be slightly off, but not deal breakers. Age is a matter of maturity, but definitely watch out for the ladies laced with drama. We have all come to realize there is often (not always) a direct correlation between hotness and drama, so listen if the red flags go off. 🙂

    Nobody Real – Interesting moniker…I’m curious to see what type of avatar you would put up to represent yourself. 🙂 Kidding, of course! Welcome!

    Southerngent and RC MSB -Welcome back! How have you two been?

    SG – you raise a good point about having a second SD as an insurance policy. However, I think being smart about the sugar you receive and putting it towards something long-term and sustainable is a much better insurance policy! It can’t always be done, but with the right, generous gent, you can accomplish a great deal.

    Lisa – It would be nice to see you back off the excuses a bit. They’re toxic and debilitating.

    Nico!!!!! Hi gorgeous!

    pb – Cleo said it best! You could replace “chocolately” with a number of other physical descriptions and we would all feel a bit of a struggle. There are all kinds of SDs with all kinds of preferences. Perhaps you need to “market” yourself to attract men who prefer women of your build, color, etc. Look at the links on the right and do a little homework. There’s a great one on marketing as well as reaching out to SDs. You may get fewer responses, but they will be of a better fit and quality. Stick around and we’ll help out where we can! Good luck!

  395. Nobody Real says:

    Michael Alleycat – You know, you bring up an interesting point. I have had numerous discussions with potential SB’s, and so many of them seem to change their mind at the last minute about following through. They talk a good talk up until the moment they have to meet someone, and then out come the excuses. I’m sure there are probably a lot of men like that as well, but it always amazes me when people have an opportunity of a lifetime put in front of them.. to help them get back on their feet, or achieve what they’ve always dreamed about… and then they “chicken out”.

    The difference between someone that is successful and someone that fails is that the successful person seizes opportunities when they present themselves. Those that fail get cold feet, and don’t want to take any risks in life. Lots of people are happy living a safe life, and those people never come on sites like this looking for what they want. It’s just a shame to see people continue to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

    As you say… Just sayin’

  396. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Lisa – I’d love to give you $500 but, as you said, you don’t have a purse to put it in, I guess I’ll just have to give it to somebody else.

    Seriously, do you have an excuse for everything? Sorry if I seem harsh, but there is always a reason you cannot do something. Too old to put your feet in the pool? Sheesh.

    If you spent as much energy trying to improve your life as you do complaining about it, you might be doing ok by now.

    Just sayin’

  397. RC msb says:

    Lisa – Sorry your arm is still bothering you, glad it’s getting better. Do cut back on the Advil though. your taking TWICE the maximum dose. I know it’s over the counter and I’m sure your in pain, but Advil can have life threatening side effects at doses that high.

    Cleo – Agree with every word.

  398. pb: i wouldn’t generalize, some prefer chocolate, some vanilla and some neither… but if you must perhaps sd guru can link you to one of the forty seven blog discussions we’ve had about this already…

    i never dated black until i was 25 or so because my school was full of white people… was i prejudiced or not presented with an opportunity? i don’t know, but i do know that my tastes have expanded dramatically… (and i further know that i’ve been “too tall” or “too white” or “too fat” or “too old” so…. you know, i could write your post and substitute the words “older sb’s” for “chocolate” and get similar responses.)

    • pb says:

      @ Cleo I really don’t need to substitute my words. What I need to come across was the word chocolately. I love direct Q&A’s. I’d prefer a lot individuals do the same. Predjudiced people do not offend me.

      But thanks for the info.

  399. Nobody Real says:

    pb: Reasons are many. Personally, I don’t find most african american women attractive. Call it racial memory or cultural conditioning, but most black women just don’t turn my crank. I prefer women with european features, and I have dated darker women from india and mixed women who had very strong european looks.

    There will always be those that are prejudiced, or simply grew up without sexy dark women around.

  400. pb says:

    Hey everyone, I would love your opinion on a real pressing and tricky question. Why is it that SD’s are so scared ( not to say the least bit of interest ) to date Choclateley SB babes?

    Not all of them are obnoxious or ghetto…………..[img]hergoodybag.com[/img]

    • Sylvia Khalan says:

      Hi all, I’ve upgraded my membership as many of you suggested.

      I’ve also taken the time to read some of the lovely SB profiles to help me adapt and edit my profile, which I’ve done.

      Now, I seek feedback.

      Time for me to take some lovely pics!

      I hope this all works out….

      I’d love to find some SB’s to take me under their wing here in the St. Louis area! Where are you SB’s????

      Heck, where are the SD’s that LOVE chocolate (light, white, dark, milk chocolate, whatever, you just have to ADORE chocolate!)

      @pb….i’ve asked the question and well…received negative feedback…not sure if this is a good place to ask that question. BUT, there are loads of books from BLACK SB’s…i’ve got a couple of em’ but my fave is by a beautiful southern white woman Genie Polo Sayles “How to Marry the rich”).

      I know this doesn’t answer your question. But men overall have been pretty afraid to approach black women…even gorgeous hotties such as Stacey Dash who has that HOT EUROPEAN look, nose, hair and va va va voom figure! Intelligence and class…don’t seem to help when some men can’t see past the color of a woman’s skin. No matter Asian, Middle Eastern or what…even in their countries…dark is low on the totem pole. sad to say.

      But we know we rock the gorgeousness without being obnoxious or ghetto!

      • pb says:

        @Sylvia Khalan you are so right honey, i still dont get it. i probably never will. I am beautiful woman despite the fact that I’m a young widow (22). I’m trying my best to getting with a SD had offers but not that i liked.

        I’m gonna still stick it out there for many who will come and go.

      • Pallas says:

        @pb you probably are a beautiful woman. Just think of it this way, they make blanket judgments because they probably don’t know a black woman, or they do and they’ve extrapolated their opinion of her to all black women (in which case, they are probably too stupid to date).

        My first ex-pot SD (stated in his profile that he was seeking a “SWF”). Aside from that, I liked his profile and I contacted him anyway [I am very dark, even for a black person 🙂 ], and we hit it off, exchanged pictures, and began communicating back and forth. (fyi he is “ex” bc all he wants to do is webcam which I am not into…or maybe i cut it off too soon to find out what he wanted…we’ll never know). He did pay me to sit in a non-revealing dress with my head out of the frame (my own excessively prude terms, but i digress).

        I got annoyed with the constant webcam requests, and at one point I asked flat out “dude, your profile says SWF, what good is a picture of me (to him)”. ** The key is to have a sense of humor about it, which I do.** I was stalling.. I followed that question up with “just out of curiosity, you don’t have to answer that question. In fact, you probably shouldn’t answer that question. Google John Mayer Playboy Interview to see the kind of mess an answer to that question can get you into”. His response was “hot is hot, I just wrote that”. John Mayer also has his list of black girls he likes in spite of David Duke living between his legs.

        My point is, think of it this way: “true love (okay maybe it’s not love that we’re looking for here) is the complete victory of the particular over the general, and the unconditional over the conditional”. i.e. Ignore blanket statements like “in general, I don’t like black girls”. Focus on what it is about YOU (the particular) that is attractive.

        Odds are, there is plenty about you that is attractive. But be careful, or else (as in my case) you might have to pull his racial preference card for him just to get rid of him 😛 men…can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em hahaha

      • Pallas says:

        @Sylvia Khalan I hear you, and I also understand PB’s concern. It’s weird isn’t it? I just accept that I often have to email first. Remember different body types, shapes, and sizes and colors come in and out of fashion at different points in history for different reasons.

        Here talking about Europeans, these are things I’ve read and completely forgotten the source: being pale used to be a status symbol in European upper class bc it meant you didnt have to work outside, farming etc

        Then being tan came into vogue at some point because it meant that you had the cash to go off to an exotic locale while the former field laborers where trapped in their low paying office-ish jobs (indoors).

        Nigeria had (maybe still has) fattening rooms that you would use before your wedding (don’t want a bony-looking wife, that means you obv aren’t able to put food on table). A far cry from bridezilla madness pre-wedding crash dieting

        To each his own. Healthy is always in style. And have a sense of humor about it. I for instance, appreciate my almost alek wek like skin tone (I wish I were that dark) because, let’s be serious, the hole in the ozone layer is not getting any smaller 😉

    • Pallas says:

      @pb Look at it as a game of odds (there’s a great post on this approach elsewhere on the blog) because you’re right many guys “don’t like black girls” and therefore won’t email them, only to meet one that they like. Chin up darling. And write a clever profile

  401. Risto says:

    Just a couple of random thoughts having gone back and read this blog thread from the top…..

    There was a discussion about hotness and drama (and crazy sex). Someone forwarded this to me a while back and I died laughing…..


    And I am wondering where Lisa is… I was in Hanoi about 10 days ago and it was unspeakable hot and humid. The weather thing on the internet said… feels like 127 (F).

  402. Lisa says:

    Flat soda I can’t drink. Odd too that I cannot use milk after the first day I open it, not that I buy milk but in the rare occasion that I do most likely to add to cream soups, I have to throw it out the next day thus I only buy the little bottles.

  403. Lisa says:

    I always have, family always thought I was weird. when they would come over for a holiday meal or something , they’d ask for ice, I didn’t have any. If I go out for a soda, i’ll use ice but when it comes to the big cubes, I don’t like them, I only like crushed ice but never buy it as it would be a bag of water by the time I got it home, lol.

  404. Nico says:

    My son does that….drinks it warms and prefers it flat too!

  405. Naughty Molly says:

    Lisa ~ My Dad used to drink his soda warm all the time too. 🙂

  406. Lisa says:

    Anna Molly, this is going to sound weird but I have no ice, I never use it, don’t even have ice cube trays (they don’t come with the apartment). I drink my soda hot all the time, I don’t even put it in the fridge, weird I know but that’s me.

  407. Nico says:

    Hiya Molly!! I agree…it’s always nice to have another SD as a member of our family!

    Welcome Risto! 😀

  408. Naughty Molly says:

    Lisa ~ A big bowl of ice in front of the fan will work too. 🙂

  409. Naughty Molly says:

    Hi Nico, Lisa and Cleo! 😀

    Risto ~ You’re going to find the “I deserve it” attitude, it doesn’t matter how old the SB is. Money can change people and sometimes it isn’t for the better.

    I can’t imagine any of the SBs here on the blog having that kind of attitude so maybe you should stick around! 😉

  410. Nico says:

    Hola Miss Cleo 🙂 love the new ‘handle’

    Lisa…I’m one of those old ladies in the pool *grin* Oh and BFF just bought a swimsuit yesterday at Wal-mart for $10 (or 2 grande machiattos). If you don’t like the pool, that’s understandable. Hanging out at the mall is a nice break too….they have a/c almost too cold but it’s better than too hot 😀

  411. lisa hang a damp sarong on the fan and it will cool the air

    but if you ever find 20 bucks you can get a decent suit from places like h&m and honey i know for sure you aren’t too old to learn a new thing!

  412. Risto: so funny. and here i once had a date fully arranged specifically for shopping and i basically bailed on his behalf “would it make your life easier if we did this another time?”

    i think your sb missed the part where it’s MUTUALLY beneficial… and the part where she spoils you back! (also wow, paris, meeting the president… what a great date! not to mention nyc… guess for her experience wasn’t worth as much as cash…)

  413. Lisa says:

    would you believe I don’t own a pair of shorts either, lol no pants or jeans except pants for work (hate those things in this hot weather, don’t know how people stand them)

    • Lisa says:

      Wouldnt hanging something damp on a fan be a shock hazzard? sorry i’m very much into electric safety, lol What is h&m?

      I just don’t think I want to get into a swimsuit. actually I bought one a couple years ago (one piece) because I was supposed to go sit in gardener sd’s hottub but he poofed before that every happened and it’s one of those things that got thrown away when I moved. I don’t know why I ever bought that thing.

      The mall is really cold but they have a big fireplace with free wifi too. Can’t do that in the middle of the night though. Waking up hot at night is really messing up my night’s sleep. I’ve awaken feeling like crap the last few days.

  414. Lisa says:

    I’m stuck standing in front of the fan when I wake up in the middle of the night, darn pools are closed at night, lol But anyway you have to wear appropriate swimwear to use the pools here, something to do with fibers coming off regular clothes and clogging the mechanics or something, i’m not sure what that means. Anyway all I ever see in the pools are kids or 20 somethings, never seen any of the old ladies in the pools yet. lol I was just feel funny walking across the street in a towel (the pools are in the 4 middle buildings of the complex which covers an entire block)

  415. Nico says:

    LOL…Lisa, you’re never too old. It’s a story you’re telling yourself to believe. You don’t need a bathing suit…shorts and a t-shirt or sports bra will suffice but it’s a nice way to cool off. Sit on the steps (in the water) and it just cools the body temp. You haven’t spoken with the family in a long time anyway and you’ve removed yourself from the strict religious upbringing. it will do you good to get out and break the rules a little….there aren’t any switches allowed within the pool area 😉

    As an alternative you could always stand in front of a fan and under the ceiling fan as a means of keeping yourself cool….one way just seems to be more fun than the other *wink*

  416. Lisa says:

    Nico there are 4 pools here but I never use them. I cannot swim and have only been in a pool once in my life, way back when I was a small child, a coworker of my mom took me out in the pool where we lived (a friend loaned me a swimsuit) mom found out and got a switch and beat my ass for wearing a swimsuit. Another one of my strange experiences growing up. Mom thinks swimming is the devils work. And now I would never put on a swim suit and get in the pool, i’m too old.

  417. Nico says:

    Lisa…next time a SD decides to help you with an apartment ~ suggest it be in a complex that has a pool *grin*

  418. Lisa says:

    just checked, it’s 95 and feels like 98. probably be 100 feels like 105 by late afternoon

  419. Lisa says:

    It’s a scorcher here as usual, probably close to 100 as usual. i’ve had to cut down on ac so it’s kinda hot in my apartment. I don’t remember it getting this hot last year inside but this year it seems hotter. It’s even bad at night, I woke up sweaty a couple times last night and had to stand in front of my fan too cool off, middle of the night and still hot. I had the ceiling fan and box fan on too

  420. Nico says:

    It’s been such a GREAT weekend!!! Friday, Transformers 3 and birthday party for my son, Saturday Renaissance Fair, Sunday Pool party and BBQ and then watching the Colorado/Denver orchestra play to the fireworks and Monday….well, wishing it was Friday again 😉

  421. Nico says:

    Hola Lisa 🙂 How’s the HEAT in Houston? I’m hanging out inside today….love AC 😉

  422. Lisa says:

    I’m so bored, so ready for it to be tuesday, lol We have a fireworks ban here because of the draught., except for a few places like downtown and other places I can’t get to. There were a few years in the past that they had a fireworks show in the mall parking lot across the street but not this year.

  423. Nico says:

    Happy Fourth Family!!!

  424. Lisa says:

    Hey Nico 🙂

  425. Nico says:

    Wow Risto…Wow!

  426. Risto I’m 39 and the man with the best stamina/recharge/wears me out every time (which NO ONE HAS EVER DONE!) i know just turned sixty… bo derek was happy until the day her 25 years older husband died…

    age is irrelevant.

    that said, generally in sugar dating the hrm… different ages have different issues … there is something to be said for an older woman and something to be said for a younger one, i’d say just see who gets your attention and flirt with her.

    curious with regard to your ex-sb, were the time needs of your arrangement different than had been agreed? was she spending an unexpected amount of time travelling to meet you? did she (in other words) have any reason to want more or was she just (to your mind) being greedy?

    sometimes i’m too blunt, so please know i’m really just curious for more details

    • Risto says:


      In response to your question… the time commitments did not change based on the arrangement we started with. Like you, I am blunt. From my point of view, she was being greedy. She was well taken care of. But I think she started to do the math in her head…. and said… he can afford more.

      So.. the beginnig of the end… I bought her an exceptionally lovely dress at one of the shops on rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré in Paris because at the last minute, we needed to go to a black tie event. Neither of us had packed for black tie, so I ended up getting myself a tux as well. Well, now that we had the dress… it was off to Chantal Thomass for some wonderful lingerie… and then shoes. Can’t forget the hand bag. Four hours later…she was the belle of the ball… so to speak…. and she got to meet the President of France, among others.

      Fabulous… right? She has a to die for dress… shoes… handbag… and a true Cinderella moment.

      Fast forward a month. We are in New York… and the pressure starts to go dress shopping… not just shopping…. but “dress shopping.” When I tell her “not this trip,” the pouting begins. The topic was raised every day for four days. Including comments like, “why not, I know you can afford it.”

      Things just went down hill from there, ending with her telling me that she “deserved” a bigger allowance. She did not get a bigger allowance. I think the thing that really killed it for me was the “I deserve it” attitude.

      Hope that satisfies your curiosity.

  427. Lisa says:

    Happy 4th of July! Having a quiet day, just having a machiato at starbucks.

  428. Naughty Molly says:

    Mornin’ Sugars!

    Risto ~ Age has never been a big deal to me, it’s just a number IMHO. My ex-SD was 30 years my senior and our relationship was great until the end! We were together for almost a year. 🙂

    Why not include women in their 20s while you’re searching. You never know who you will meet! 😀

  429. Risto says:

    Good evening all. What’s next on my sugar agenda? Finding a SB.

    My last arrangement was great for a few months, but the my SB wanted to re-negotiate our arrangement and was looking for a substantially larger allowance. She had been pushing for more and more for a while outside of the allowance… and then just came right out looking for more. She is now my ex-SB.

    As I have begun dealing with looking for my next SB, I have begun pondering the question of age differences. As someone in my late 40’s I have never had a SB younger than 35. Yet, on my trip two weeks ago to Europe, I ended up spending some time with a charming 24yo. It wasn’t a SD/SB thing… just one of those random two ships crossing things. I was surprised at how easy it was to be with her.

    I am curious as to the experiences of both SD’s and SB’s with significant age differences.

    Any thoughts / experience would be greatly appreciated.

    • The Lone Gunman says:


      My take is that you experienced the cultural difference between Europe and the US when it comes to attraction, acceptability and intimacy.


  430. The Lone Gunman says:

    Nuts. Mu email account was hacked, and it looks like several blog folk got the benefit of an odd message.

    I’ve taken care of the problem, but please be cautious if you receive an email from me that seems a bit ‘off’.


  431. Lisa says:

    Good evening everyone. Welcome back RC msb my arm is still hurting, but it is better on my days off when i can rest it but as soon as I start lifting things at work, it hurts again, still taking 12 advil a day, manage on 2 on my days off.

    So glad the weekend is over, i’m off the next couple days. The highrise outside my bedroom window is all decked out with red, white and blue lights on the top as well as there herman tower crown of death, they change the colors for every holiday, with blue being the non holiday color.

    No big plans for the 4th, family still not speaking to me after 7 weeks, so i’ll just go to starbucks for a latte,maybe sit by the fireplace, come home, nothing else.

  432. Naughty Molly says:

    I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

    Have a great 4th! 😀

  433. RC msb says:

    Hi all.

    LASB – Thanks so much I appreciate your kind words.

    Lisa – Thank you too, I hope your arm didn’t fall off in my absence. 😉

    LL- It was incredible. I missed you too.

  434. RedMaru says:

    Saw SD Im interested in. Worried whether I should make first move. If i do what should I say in email?

  435. RedMaru says:

    Hey everybody!
    SouthernGent long time no see we missed ya! Would love an insurance policy especially against saccharin dates and joke daddies. Hope everyone is enjoying the fourth weekend.

  436. SouthernGent2 says:

    There is no “end game”. As Midwest said, things always will end, and often its not the best ending. The only way a sb can prepare for that is to have an insurance policy on the side. In other words, find a second man to see once per month just to keep him happy, plus give you a bonus above and beyond in case Mr Number One SD falls by the wayside. A girl that doesn’t have insurance is inviting problems.

  437. SD Guru says:

    Just stopping by to catch up during my vacay and I see the blog is alive and well with inflating thongs and leased slaves! I hope everyone is having a great 4th of July weekend!!

    I do tend to bring my SBs into my personal life… The main reason is that I am a single parent, and it is difficult to work schedules sometimes… and I tell pot SBs upfront, that they will probably meet my daughter at some stage, not because I want them to, but sometimes it is unavoidable.

    I understand it can be difficult being a single parent in the sugar world. But rather than saying it’s unavoidable for pot SB’s to meet your daughter, I’d think it’s more of a personal choice. I’ve dealt with many pot SB’s who are single parent, and almost all of them chose not to get their kids involved which is what I prefer.

    Starting the interview process again. Got meets with 3 local pots set up in the next few days… She is now my ex-#1. Sheesh

    I see the first 2 local pots were a bust, what happened to the third one?? The ex#1 is an ex… again… somethings never change! :P:

    @D Dub

    You got some good inputs and hindsight is always 20/20, but I’d like to add my two cents so here it goes.

    Its a new show in town and she mentioned that she had been wanting to see it. It was at this point that I invited her to come along because it sounded like she wanted to. I also thought she would enjoy my friends’ company.

    She may have been wanting to see the new show, but seeing it with your female friends was probably not what she had in mind. You thought she’d enjoy your friends’ company but in hindsight that wasn’t the case.

    Since I only have two and a half weeks remaining on this business trip, I possibly selfishly asked about her feelings toward me in regards to intimacy.

    A better way to approach the arrangement topic is to have a second date after the show to discuss it in person. Was the arrangement you had in mind for the remainder of your trip, or was it to be something on-going?

    @Sylvia Khalan
    Fourth of July weekend ….. teaser story

    Great story!! But the most important question is… how was the sex?? :mrgreen:

    • Sylvia Khalan says:

      No sex in the story…just a wonderful time spent hugging, respecting and kissing. Hey, it is a teaser story right!!…gotta be some teasing somewhere. 😀

  438. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Have you had any fireworks in your Sugar Life lately? What’s next on your sugar agenda? I’ve had fireworks, but they are from a different kind of sugar! My sugar agenda is full of friendships and visits that make me so glad I came here in the first place!

    What are your thoughts on how sugar arrangements should end? The reality is they rarely end well, but both parties should be mature and amicable. He should fulfill his obligations right up to the end and she should keep the drama to an absolute minimum. SBs need to be fair and flexible…understanding enough to realize that circumstances will come up and no reason will satisfy an impromptu ending. They also need to refrain from threats, anger, emotional outbursts, and harassment. SDs should fulfill the agreements made (allowance, “severance” if discussed, and any important obligations that you agreed to such as interviews, tuition, etc). This way there are no hard feelings on either end and you can remain sugar friends after the fact. The sugar world is full of wonderful connections and it’s nice to nurture them.

    Do you know of any interesting or unique requests from sugar daddies or sugar babies? Care to share? None from personal experience, but I do know of a few sugars who have! 🙂

  439. Honey says:

    hmm…you just may have something here, Cleo…
    off to gamble, taking my sister, she has four kids and a crazy husband, she needs the break!!!

  440. honey that’s why you lease them, that way when they get annoying with their extreme devotion you just get a new one

  441. Honey says:

    they despise being out of my presence..slaves

  442. Lily says:


  443. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Cleo – a leased slave? What’s the monthly payment?

    Reading my previous post, no, climbing Arizona’s tallest mountain today was not fun. Start at 9000, up to 12,600ft and back down was nit fun at the end of the day. I’d take a bath but I don’t think I’d be able to climb out again.

    Maybe I need one of those inflatable thongs!

  444. Sylvia Khalan says:

    Fourth of July weekend ….. teaser story

    What a lovely afternoon, totally bored after work just sitting here in my cute, black colored-boy cut undies and matching black pushup which I totally found at Wal-Mart for a steal! Just too cute to pass on. I sit here at my laptop trying to find out who I want to be with for the weekend.

    I stop and I peruse a couple of my social group sites and find a couple of handsome guys that catch my eye. One an older gent whose profile reads “Graying for some Sun-In” and I read it twice to see if its supposed to be cute. Then I recall back in high school, when we used to use that product “Sun-In”…sounds like this guy is looking to get out and needs a cutie like myself, I smile and read his post: Divorced, No children, CEO of a franchise company seeks some excitement for the weekend. Would love to find a single lady, no children who isn’t afraid of the sun nor fish and some outdoorsy time with me. I’ll treat you as a princess and cook the meals while we kayak and hike then rest in our tent and smell the woods and campfire cradled together”.

    WOW, what a personal ad, and I think..this sounds like the man I want to be with…I check out his picture and he looks like Jack Bunyon with gray side burns, a full head of dirty blond hair, clean cut, and one photo shows his physique…wow, really paul bunyon, jeans, no shoes, shirtless standing next to a tree. In another photo,it shows him sitting at a well-dressed picnic table with flowers and loads of delicious fruits and vegetables (almost like an ad in the magazine)…I’m wondering if he is a model as well.

    I go on to read another profile, this guy is a lil younger and what grabs my attention is the heading:
    “True Companion”, I open up his profile to read and words are jumping out all over the page that make me think this person is really serious about locating someone worthy in his life and won’t settle for less. I check out his pictures (3 of them), the sexiest one that catches my eye is his 6’4″, muscular frame lifting up a lil girl who appears to be 2 or 3 years of age and just giggling herself to tears and he is smiling with delight! NICE, I say outloud. The next picture is him fly fishing in full gear and in the midst of falling…I wonder who took that picture I think to myself and why he put it up? I guess to say he is a real person…hmmm Another picture is a headshot of him with a strong jaw line and almost Asian-almond like eyes. Very dreamy.

    I decide to wink to both of them and within 30 minutes, I receive responses from them both. Basically saying; “Thank you for winking”, I read your post and would love to meet you in person. I write back to them both and we meet in 2 hours and both guys are great conversationalist, easy going, more handsome in person and they make me feel confident and appreciated.

    I exchange phone numbers with potential ltr #1 and he calls me 15 minutes later to see if I’d be interested in going with him on a group camping excursion for the holiday weekend in New York City?
    I ask him a few questions, like where will we stay (his short answer is B & B), what will we do in NYC (again, short answer, We will catch a musical, and I’ll wine and dine you while we take in the sites).

    This guy sounds almost too good to be true, I say this because he hasn’t answered a question with a question and he is forthcoming with his responses, no game playing and no mind games. The same behavior he showed at our meeting. So, I agree to go with him. I tell him, my only issue is that I don’t have the savings at the point and time for a trip like what he is offering. No way can I pay for a trip to NYC.

    He laughs and says, “I didn’t ask you if you had the money to come on a trip with me, but I did ask you if you would come on a trip with me.” This guy is scoring big points with me!

    Our trip during the 4th of July weekend was wonderful. His friends and associates were lovely, I met a couple of women I’ll keep in contact with, he chose a lovely bed & breakfast (b&b with some b&b drink). We went deep sea fishing one day, Another day trip was lobstering, the evening was spent watching a musical and dining with the cast afterward…since he’s good friends with the producer of the show. We even had rooftop access to a lovely VIP hotel bar where we watched the fireworks display and afterwards we danced the night away. Our last day was spent gift shopping for a couple of his buddies and for my time spent with him, he treated me to a couple of stores that were suggested to him for a couple pair of shoes for me and a couple dresses and my all time fave place that was my suggestion, Tiffany’s were I finally received the gold charm bracelet and matching earrings that I’d been wanting.

    We parted ways at the airport with hugs and cheek kisses. In two hours while I was getting ready for a nap, he called thanking me for the wonderful weekend and asked if I would be ready to go on another trip again, and asks me if I have my passport, with this trip visiting his older brother whose getting married on a private island in a couple weeks on the seychelles islands?

    WHAT? I think to myself..this reminds of a dream I had where I met Duran Duran…LOL

    Of course, I say yes!

    ———-Just a story I decided to write just now——–

  445. honey: i think the better question might be “what does your slave despise doing…?”

  446. right? i’m going to giggle about that ALL day… it’s actually even funnier than inflated thongs!

  447. Lily says:

    So much funnier than imagining a slave on a leash!

  448. omg a “leased slave”


  449. Honey says:

    a slave does whatever a slave does. what do you want your slave to do? what does your slave like to do?

  450. Lisa says:

    Good morning everyone, hi RedMaru

    I’ve head several starts where the ends came without much notice, sd made plans for our next meeting then poofed. Anyway I can’t complain. Woke up feeling tired and achey this morning. I’m at starbucks now trying to wake up, latte hasn’t hit me yet.

  451. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugars…new blog
    Sugar End? I would be grateful if I could just get to a nice beginning! But I guess the end should be discussed so to no miscommunication develops in the future.
    I have to ask….what exactly does a slave do? I’m starting to picture a leather clad dominatrix with a whip and someone attached to her on a lease. Am I going in the right direction?

  452. Lily says:

    Gosh it’s quiet!

  453. Lily says:

    Hope you all are, too!

  454. Honey says:

    Glad to hear you are having a good evening,Lily

  455. Lily says:

    Good quote.

    Feeling so divine, the biggest smile right now is mine.

    • RC msb says:

      Isn’t it annoying when you think you’ll be taken to the last post on the bottom, but are instead dumped in the middle of nowhere.

  456. Honey says:

    If you want crazy sex, ya gotta do crazy people!!!

  457. Lily says:

    Thongs uninflated.
    What are ya gonna do?

  458. Lily says:

    It makes sense. The less comely have had less luck getting away with pulling ridiculous shenanigans and wise up. The cuter get by with behaving in silly ways and therefore don’t learn.

  459. Michael Alleycat says:

    @LASB – you are so right, especially with women! There is a very significant correlation between hotness and drama. Never heard it put that way, but you hit the nail on the head.

    Off to walk up a mountain tomorrow, Humphreys Peak, 12,650ft. Should be fun!

  460. LASB says:

    Lisa/Alleycat – Just because the girl’s cousin should terminate, doesn’t mean Michael should be presented with the bill. I find that a bit tacky. And if she felt that strongly about it, maybe she should use the money from her allowance. Anyhow, I can see why she’s now the ex.

    As far as the end game goes, I think the end can happen at any time and for any reason so it’s best to be prepared. In my most recent relationship, I was the one who ended it. Being that he was a gift and travel guy (no allowance), it hadn’t occurred to me until after he was gone that I was more dependent on him than I realized.

    Current sugar is hot and cold. I’m supposed to see pot Charlie next week if we can get our schedules worked out. In the meanwhile, I’ve had two IRL pots try to strike something up with me. One wants to be a travel SD and the other wants to be a gift and travel SD and wants me to train him to become a slave. I’ve known him for a long time, so his sudden interest came as somewhat of a surprise. Of the 3, he is by far the hottest, but probably also the most drama prone. Isn’t that how it usually works?

  461. Lisa says:

    Yes that is a weird request but then again if it is a 17 year old having a baby, the outcome might end up worse. Might turn on the tv one day and find out that 17 year old dumped the baby in the trash, and if not, the child will most likely have to be supported by the tax payers. There are alot of worse things than abortion.

    I think it is a good idea to set plans for what happens when an arrangement ends but I really don’t give much thought to it as mine have ended without much notice. In today’s world though, i’ve learned that people are temporary both online and irl so when some disappears, i’m not surprised. That’s why I prefer material things, they stick around, people come and go in my life.

    My sugar life is in the dumps right now, nothing go on other than two cheap offers a few weeks back where they where concerned about how much allowance to see someone 3 times a month as well as gas to travel to my city, hotel, dinners, etc would cost. One guy figured that would cost 650 dollars total, lol

  462. Naughty Molly says:

    Alleycat ~ That is just…weird…

  463. Michael Alleycat says:

    Do you know of any interesting or unique requests from sugar daddies or sugar babies? Care to share?
    Last week, my #1 asked me to pay for her 17 y.o. cousin’s pregnancy termination. She is now my ex-#1. Sheesh.

    • Model1970 says:

      I do not have any pregnant relatives. Hahaha
      Sorry but I couldn’t help to post to your comment. The audacity of some people is mindboggling.

  464. Michael Alleycat says:


  465. SA Moderator Team says:

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