9 years ago
Connecting with the In Crowd


I was in San Francisco this past Wednesday to a attend the Bestseller book launch for my new book “Connecting with the In-Crowd”. While my last book “Seeking Arrangement” focused entirely on the Sugar Daddy and Sugar Baby lifestyle, in this new book, I wanted to discuss the many other reasons people use SeekingArrangement.com, SeekingMillionaire.com or social networks to meet wealthy and successful people: friendship, to travel and have fun, networking, finding a new job, finding an investor for one’s business, raising money for charity, etc.

Some of you may think I’m being idealistic to think that there are actually Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies who use the website for more than their heart’s desires, but don’t just take my word for it.   I was pleasantly surprised at the book launch event this past week, when so many people walked up to me and told me they are members of SeekingArrangement.com.

One woman (who told me she needs to be anonymous because she is a board member of the large charity organization) said she had been successfully using Seeking Arrangement to raise funds for her charity.  Another woman introduced me to her date (whom she met off the site) and told me she is an interior designer who found many new clients through the networking she did off the site.

Throughout the years, I have met so many of you who have told me your stories.  Of the lavish parties you have attended, travels to exotic places, as well as real investors and mentors who have helped you succeed in your businesses.  These are the stories I love to share.  But as much as I’d love to focus on the positive stories that come from the sugar lifestyle, I am often reminded of the negative stigma “sugar” has in reality — I’m of course referring to the negative treatment of the lifestyle by Dr. Phil a few weeks ago.

Sugar Is Goodness …

With the launch of this new book, a new homepage design and taking a tougher stance against those who abuse the website, I am hoping to start turning things around (and making things greener) in the sugar world, at least on Seeking Arrangement.  We are currently experimenting with a few other very innovative ideas which we will be announcing over the next few months.  Expect new features that you will NOT find on any other dating websites that will take sugar dating to the next level.  And if you are searching for some clues as to what these new features will be, clues may be found in the ideas contained within my new book!

Connect with the In Crowd at the Oct 10 Seeking Arrangement Party!

Alan Action from Netblast Media on Vimeo.

If you will be attending the Seeking Arrangement party on October 10th in New York at the Copacabana, I look forward to meeting you in person so don’t be shy to come up and say hello if you see me.  This will be the last party I am planning to organize for this year, and I am putting as much resources as I can to make it the biggest and most successful.  And if you need even more reasons to attend, I am currently working on getting a list of the “In-Crowd” — celebrities, professional athletes and radio personalities to show up at this event, including:  Rob Schneider, the cast of Jersey Liscious, the cast of Mob Wives, Gianni Russo, Miss New York, Joe Causi from CBS 101, La Mega from 97.9, Pauly Shore, Victor Santos (MLB), Darryl Strawberry (MLB), Iran Barkley (boxer), etc.

To purchase tickets for this event, CLICK HERE.  (GET 50% OFF TICKETS, USE COUPON CODE: EMSA50)

To purchase a copy of “Connecting with the In Crowd” please visit Amazon.com.  Print version of the book will be available in approximately 2-3 weeks.  For those of you who would like a free preview of my new book, here is the Book Cover and the Table of Contents and Introduction.

Is it possible to form real friendships with the people you meet on Seeking Arrangement?

Have you turned any of your SA relationship into more than just a SD / SB relationship?

Do you have any innovative ideas on how to make Sugar sweeter to the general public?

Leave a Reply

124 Responses to “Connecting with the In Crowd”

  1. DianaSBinOC says:

    @DallasBaby~ Exactly! Actually the fake single SD’s (really married) that have contacted me were already sleeping with escorts with their weird quoted $300-$500 dates. Shopping with an extra $3-10,000 a month is not going to make me feel great when I’m actually sneaking around some other woman’s back. Plus generally most of your time will either be spent in bed or hidden some where that he hopes his wife doesn’t find him.

    @EnigmaSD~ Yes I know they may be far and few between and I’m fine with waiting. The Sugar World has a bad reputation specifically because many SD’s that have tired of the escorts move for sugar babies. If you look around, the people that complain the most are married women. Now why do you think? Because they obviously have spent years in their committed relationships and don’t want their husbands sleeping around with other women. The younger the woman is in comparison to the wife’s age, the worse she will feel if she ever finds out. Plus I heard in some states a woman could be sued by a wife for creating issues in here marriage that would cause it to fall apart.

    The whole blackmailing issue is really a game of who is more conniving than the next person. So you’re cheating on the person you’re supposed to love the most and someone is thinking they can get the most out of you for such an act. It’s just two people playing dirty games with one another. All I hear with all of that is the most hated word in Sugar Dating : DRAMA!!!

    SDs hate drama and so do I. I just wouldn’t feel right taking money to hurt someone. What would make me different than a hitman? lol Ok maybe a bit extreme but the wife never saw it coming right? Also in most cases when she finds out, it actually kills her. Also some women snap. Would that SD allowance cover a great funeral? And wasn’t that SD allowance really a bribe or hush money? Now seriously who would ever want to be apart of all of that? Or worse feel like the cause of someone’s mental break?

    I’m also a firm believer in what goes around comes around. Now if the wife is well aware of what he’s doing and is fine with it then Ok! I’m just not into the creepy couple thing. I attract couples like crazy when I’m out at events. They always freak me out with their orchestrated pick up dance. Yes naive enough to hang out with a couple , dance the night away thinking I made some new friends only to be swatting hands off me in my sleep .It ended with me jumping up , running for the door with that horror stricken facial expression. Ugg one ugly memory I could so do without. Don’t worry nothing happened but if I was even slightly tipsy, who knows what those psychos would have done.

    Speaking of Horror… Everyone ready for Halloween!!! I bought 5 costumes because I just felt this was going to be one busy party hopping weekend!! Can’t wait! Too bad there isn’t an SD party on the West Coast.

  2. J says:

    How do I report a male user who is defrauding young women?

  3. Rachel says:

    @(new) college baby…… Great to hear things are going well!

    To everyone else… I’m still here… Just in lurk mode till I catch up! 🙂

  4. Rachel says:

    Tanya and newenglandbaby…. I’m in CT!!! Love hearing there are locals on the blog!

  5. DallasBaby says:

    The main thing is never let a man control the situation. Once you work out a payment plan they think they can make you do whatever, like you have no feelings at all and just a blow up doll ! Think ” real relationship ” . It is not sexy to talk money amount and puts you below him like you are bought . Like I mentioned my sugar daddy was off putting a ring on a girls finger who he never even had sex with !

  6. DallasBaby says:

    Tanya, I never ask for an amount unless they are wanting me to travel then I need to know what I am getting into. Asking for an amount then makes the man say ” oh ya, what do I get for the money then? ” What are the limits ? . Very annoying when they say this and they all do it. I try to keep it as boy meets girls and not talk biz. They get the idea that it will not move forward without some spoiling and once you feel it is sweet enough then you can have some fun ! NEVER, hang out with a guy that makes your skin crawl as you will feel it is never enough and it always goes bad. I like to find a man I like who I want to move forward with in a real relationship of possible marriage. I never tell any man I am seeing other men as they tend to not be as focused or romantic. Most men have others on the side also and I prefer to not hear about that either.

  7. (New) College Baby says:

    Tanya – Most men who pay more than three are seeking something exclusive. Scratch that; most men on here are seeking something exclusive on your end, asking more for that seems odd. IF what you really want is six, then ask for six, not four. Tell them (him) exactly what you need and what you want in the negotiations, even the bit about the car and rent. You never know what they will say.
    But I also talk to them first, skype, phone conversation, etc. And financials aren’t discussed until we have a second meet up (they pay for everything, including travel of course). I don’t include the travel (hotel, plane/train etc) in my allowance. They should take care of that anyways.

    Indigo: Get out now. If he isn’t being forthcoming with the allowance etc it is time to say goodbye. He isn’t keeping up his end of the arrangement. It sounds like you two made a contract and he isn’t keeping up his end (even if it was just verbal), in business the contract would be over. Keep your search on and find your dream sugar daddy!

    To Rachel and all the other sugars who have helped me thus far: You are all amazing. My first meeting with a new pot SD has gone well. He bought my train ticket, paid for my room, planned the day, and gave me $$$ to go shopping. I bought my first Coach purse, EVER, and it feels so good. I almost gave up after my first few meetings with less than desirable pot SD’s (octopus hands, ‘test drive’, and ‘lost’), and you all gave me great advice and good, sweet, positive energy to keep searching. I know this isn’t a full on sugarlationship yet, but it’s nice to know the good ones are out there.

    So, THANK YOU!!!

  8. Tanya says:

    Dallas~ Can I ask what you generally ask for an allowance. I am seeking $4000 not to include travel costs and extras. Also do you think asking for a higher allowance for being exclusive with someone is just? I have had many men request that I see only them, but are not willing to go the extra mile to make it worth my while. I only ask for 6 for exclusive. Its not that huge of an increase, but enough to cover my bills and expenses. Rent is not cheap here in Connecticut! And I am saving to get a car.

  9. Enigma SD says:

    Diana — I understand the desire for a single SD. I know they exist, but I think it is rare for a single, wealthy, sane and attractive SD to be on SA. I have wealthy reasonably attractive sane single male friends my age that get all the hot women they can manage on match. I think there is just as much (if not more) screening required on SA as there is on traditional dating sites. Allowance throws in a completely different complication into the picture versus traditional sites. As you have found out, some of these separated, single or divorced men on SA really may not be truthful about their relationship status. I do recognize some eligible SDs like the pool of hot women with no relationship expectations, but I doubt those men are plentiful.

  10. DallasBaby says:

    Tanya – When I travel I ask for 3 k down and flight paid then the rest of payment as soon as I arrive. Anything less is not worth the trouble ! I also let then see me on cam or send a cell phone picture holding a sign that says something like the profile name they have to insure it is me and some random fake person.

  11. Tanya says:

    Sigh, starting the search over as my latest has poofed 3 weeks ago. I have tons of interest, some who I even talked to when I still lived in Arizona/Vegas. Not sure about traveling but since I am thinking of moving back out there by next summer it wouldn’t be that bad lol. I also travel to LA for work all the time, so may group the trips together.

    Has anyone traveled to meet a pot sd, paid for of course, and how did you ensure you weren’t stranded or arriving at the airport and the ticket has been canceled. Those are my fears, although I wouldn’t really be stranded in Vegas, however I don’t want to go for nothing! Would love to hear how it work out for all you sweetums!

  12. GenuineSD says:

    Hey you! Its great to hear that all’s well in your sugar life.

  13. GenuineSD says:

    @Indigo…. I concur with Midwest… Tho you may want to try having one, last, very direct conversation about your arrangement. A real SD will listen and respond appropriately. At the least, you may come away with closure about specific expectations. At any rate, a caring SD tries to meet expectations when they’re clearly defined.

  14. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Good morning sugars!

    Indigo – Every sugar of every color deals with this. This is why we tell ladies not to compromise just because of the hope of an allowance. You end up bitter about the arrangement and wasting time. Get out now. Stand up for yourself and your needs. Although, he may take you to nice places, he has not come through. This is not necessarily mutually beneficial.

  15. texasugah says:

    Hi all…

    Super busy with work and finishing up a class.

    OK wow.. this is twice I agree with Dallasbaby. Indigo there are people with race preferences.
    That’s just the way it is. Like I’ve said over and over use other sites too.
    Dallas baby is right..black/brown women get less because we’re OK with that.
    Not that we value ourselves less but its in our culture to be thankful for what we get. And not complain. Not to say that’s not others too..but the sense of entitlement, outside the food stamp ghetto, is just not there.

    Men pay what they think they can get away with. I just had the same situation and broke camp. WHY STAY…??? True something is better than nothing. Its time to move around.

    Check out my blog and contact me.

    All the best.

  16. DallasBaby says:

    Indigo- I am guessing you are a brown sugar? I met an sd who was a total jerk who told me he has five babies who all hang out together and go to swingers clubs. ( yuk ) . Then he goes on to tell me a few are brown sugar who have much better bodies but he pays them less. I asked why ? He says: why pay more if they will take less? I got my first date payment and never saw him again. So nasty !

  17. vino sd says:

    Have you turned any of your SA relationship into more than just a SD / SB relationship?

    Yes. after two duds, i have found someone with whom we have found some real affection for each other. while we met here, it just never started as sugar…just a real relationship. only 2 months in…we shall see how it goes.

  18. Indigo says:

    Is it possible to form real friendships with the people you meet on Seeking Arrangement?

    I’m still newer to the site but I’ve made a friend through the blog with a fellow sugar babe. We email and text to keep each other encouraged on our search for true sweetness.

    Have you turned any of your SA relationship into more than just a SD / SB relationship?

    As of now, my SD/SB relationship is sort of disappointing me and really going sour. I am always open to more than just an SD/SB relationhips but my SD has never met my expectations for financial assistance, just a little here and there. He’s taken me out to a few fancy places (which I did appreciate) but I find it frustrating because he contacted me knowing exactly what I was looking for in an SD/SB relationship and my allowance desires. He made the promise to fulfill that desire, but failed to come through repeatedly. I’m grateful for what I’ve received but when I bring up the subject of any kind of help he breaks a sweat and gets nervous. He wants someone to spend their time to dress up, hair, nails and make up to look good for him to go out to eat or to a party and make out with but when it comes down to getting any assistance he’s unavailable or offers gas money that I can come up with on my own if I work a few hours of overtime.

    Don’t really know what to do about this because it took a long time just to land this one. When I look at what some of these SD’s are saying in their profiles I can immediately tell I’m not the one for them because they won’t get down if their ice cream’s is brown. I know not everyone is like that on here but maybe it’s just the ones that are in my area so I’m going to stick it out and hope to find someone who is open to all flavors.

    I really liked this guy at first, still kind of like him but now I’m just getting annoyed. I’m never good with break ups and I want to end it amicably and hope that we can just be friends. The conversation and the company was good, I just can’t depend on him to meet my desires. I’m feeling like I’m in need of a new SD who will keep his word and not make me have to practically beg for things that I want or need. I’m not looking for an ATM (if I wanted cash without a connection I would’ve become a stripper) but I am looking for someone who can fulfill my desires if I’m going to fulfill theirs.

  19. DallasBaby says:

    DianaSBinOC – Very true, I would hate to hurt another female and they do blame you and start acting real crazy . Plus the sugar daddy turns on you in the worst way. Playing with fire should be left to the real NSA escorts !

  20. DianaSBinOC says:

    @ EnigmaSD~ I’m not saying one own’s their sugar baby more if they’re giving a higher allowance of 10-20,000 a month. I just felt with higher amounts generally mean that the daddy has more to loose. Also who actually owns any of their sugar babies? I understand looking into some things but how is checking out fb holiday pictures going to tell someone if they’re going to be blackmailed? I don’t know how that helps. Again I didn’t realize he was married. So if that’s the case then yes I guess you’ll have to go through extra steps to not be caught with your pants down.

    @ DallasBaby~ I agree with going with only single SD’s. I just don’t want the drama of cheating to smack me in the face later on. Plus I would feel pretty horrible about myself if that man’s wife found me and wanted to blame me for her husbands activities. I’ve gotten a few fake SD’s that said they were separated but their behavior is that of a married men. If I got a nickel for every message that said “loveless marriage” I wouldn’t actually desire a sugar arrangement. lol
    So single ,SD, 40 or under seems to be my best fit. Ok well maybe up to 43 and how could I leave out “attractive”.

  21. DallasBaby says:

    Philly Baby- Sadly, all the guys seem to tell me all the drama first date and I get turned off before it moves forward in most cases. The profiles always say “no drama” from the baby… but should it not go both ways? Like any relationship lets keep it light and fun. We do not have to tells ones life story because it makes me want to jump out of the nearest window to escape ! Run forrest run !!!!

  22. DallasBaby says:

    Philly Baby- Sadly, all the guys seem to tell me all the drama first date and I get turned off before it moves forward in most cases. The profiles always say “no drama” from the baby… but should it not go both ways? Like any relationship lets keep it light and fun. We do not have to tells ones life story because it makes me want to jump out of the nearest window to escape !

  23. Alleycat says:

    Morning all! It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood… Arizona is gorgeous this time of year. How is everybody this morning? Any exciting sugar plans for the weekend?

    Not much going on here, having lunch with a really interesting IRL pot on Monday, and kicking off with new #1 next Saturday. My daughter will be away for 5 days, leaving next weekend, so it’s play time…!

  24. Kindred Spirit says:

    Thank you, Honey. Happy to see you on the blog, GenuineSD! 😀

  25. Philly Baby says:

    @DallasBaby sorry to hear about that, there are dates like that where my face looks interested and sympathetic, but my mind is irate lol!

    The Sd’s i’m interested are 40 and older. But this particular one is acting kind of funny, I hate my intuition. 🙁
    Gm to the Sd’s & Sb’s Muah!!! kisses for everyone!!

  26. Honey says:

    Happy for you,Kindred. Good luck and have a FAB time! Big Kiss!

  27. DallasBaby says:

    Ladies- It is best to get into sugar with single men and try to work towards something real with a man you find attractive and would date in most cases free. All the shady stuff tends to backfire .

  28. DallasBaby says:

    What’s that you say, Ashton? “Real men don’t buy girls”? Well, you sure bought this one, honey, at about 1000x the going rate. If you had just “bought a girl” instead of dealing with a halfway “nude for sale chic” you wouldn’t be in this fix, but because you believed your own stupid propaganda you’re about to learn the hard way that free puXXy is the most expensive kind!

  29. Enigma SD says:

    JennyMae — consider getting a google voice number – you can link it to your phone and block numbers. You can also unlink it when you aren’t sugar dating. If you search “google phone number” you should be able to find information. Also, good call on nexting that potSD — he is not prime SD material.

    Diana – I see some of your points, but what does the provided allowance have to do with how much background checking an SD is “allowed” to do? Do you own someone more if you give them more allowance?? I don’t think Michael’s search was creepy either. I do a quick google search on all of my potential SBs and I encourage to do the same thing on me. I think most SDs (especially married ones who can be blackmailed more easily) have a lot to lose…. I think it is called trust but verify 🙂

    SincereSD – always good to see you again! (think southeastern state SD)

  30. Tanya says:

    NewEnglandBaby~ I am in CT, so very close to you 🙂

  31. Jennymae says:

    @ Genuine SD — Thanks , thats what I thought. and thats what I said to him — if he didnt care about my comfort level , were clearly on different pages . I considered getting a different phone number just for this since more and more SDs are requesting my number before I know anything about them . Theres no way Im just handing out my number to everyone who asks for it . Ive had it for years and years , and I dont feel like having to change it if I get stalker. lol

  32. GenuineSD says:

    Greetings all !
    Thought I’d drop in and say hello to all the great friends here. I hope all of you are well and enjoying sugar success. I’ve taken to lurking more than active participation for a while due to demands of the business. I miss the blog, though.

    To chime in on the blog topic: I absolutley think it’s possible to have and maintain sugar friendships. This blog has been a great source of advice, support, and occasionally, solace – and the friendships endure.

    As for improving Sugar’s impression to the general public ?… I doubt that will happen through overt efforts… I think it is better done subtly in the proper settings.

    @Jennymae: Your sense of the situation is probably right. Go with your instinct. The initial response to your reasonable request indicates that he’s not into a mutually beneficial relationship. As Midwest is fond of reminding us: “screen relentlessly”. There are SDs out there who understand the protocal for ensuring a ladies comfort level and security before moving forward.
    I’d also suggest getting a Google Voice phone # for added security… just in case.

  33. Jennymae says:

    Hello all ! —

    General question — I just emailed a pot SD ( a nice mid length , informative intro ) , he writes back and requests a phone call right away . I ask to make sure were on the same page , exchange pics to make sure theres mutual chemisty , and then I would give him my number. ( Im picky about who I give my phone number to) I didnt think that was asking alot . He basically says its his way or the highway . Call me crazy , but isnt this supposed to be a mutually respectful relationship ? A 2 -way street ? At least he showed me quickly that hes no one Im interested in persuing further.

  34. Nat says:

    Hey guys, I’m Natasha from London UK and I’m just starting out on my student sugar baby journey. Brandon suggested I get behind the blog for some advice, I was hoping for a mentor who could guide me through the stages, and anyone from London want to make me feel like i’m not alone in this amazing sugar baby life? , I need my fellow sugar babies guidance! nat xxx

  35. DianaSBinOC says:

    @ Michael Alleycat~ Thank you for providing such detail. I understand that you want what you want. It’s just the first I’ve heard about this on the SD’s end. SD Guru’s advice has obviously paid off well so I wish you continued success.

  36. DallasBaby says:

    I wish sugar relationships did not have so much drama ! I had a first date tonight and I was so tired of hearing all the negative stuff about his life and relationships or his probation. Just because it is a NSA I would think it to be a bad idea to just lay it all out like that !

  37. Peach and Cream says:

    Hi there!! Loved loved loved reading this blog and SA site..
    I’m a new sugarbabe, free, single and searching…
    I am based in London.. Will you be having a party for SDs and SBs ?


  38. Kindred Spirit says:

    Hey there, Michael Alleycat!

    I’ve always been shy about mentioning specifics of my sugar life because there’s a fine line between sharing your experience if asked or just straight out bragging. So I don’t volunteer much, besides how happy I always am and have been since I’ve started, keeping it general but positive.

    So, thank you for asking…which nudges me to share more details. 😉

    In short, I’ve had great success with every man I’ve met from this site, save one (the very first encounter, a one and only one lunch date). In using the term “success”, I don’t mean regarding the length of the relationship, the amount of trips/gifts/financial assistance I may have received or how wealthy the gentleman was/is. Certainly, all of those points were different for each relationship; some very simple and sweet, others more elaborate.

    The success for me in them was how, from the very start, they were truly mutually beneficial and endearingly memorable relationships. I have left a flirty footprint in each of their hearts, as they have in mine. #^_^#

    Currently I am getting indulged regularly by a wonderful man where I live, and another is a dear whom I see about once a month or so from out of town (I prefer not sleeping with more than one man at a time, so one is platonic and one is not). Keeping the spirit of this dating style, both are NSA as well as spectacularly special.

    While my lengthy profile was a success while active on SA, I think I’ll take it down because honestly, I’m not looking for anything better than what I currently have. Time will change life, as it always does. But for now? It’s all a great, enriching balance and experience…and what I love about these mutually beneficial relationships (that I’ve had and am having) is how I can focus on and just cherish the present. What a gift indeed.

  39. DallasBaby says:

    Also, my sugar daddy’s are under 40 and nice looking so this helps. All but the one on the new bravo reality show who is 55 but is a local celeb.

  40. DallasBaby says:

    Guys do not like being asked for things and then when they say no its awkward. One of my sd ‘s is an fbi agent who I only met once and never slept with. I text him and say, I got 1,000 in driving infractions and he just offers to pay. I told another sd who I was sleeping with and he says: and your reason for telling me is why? he got dumped yet keeps trying to hook up. Says if I was his girlfriend he would help. hmmmmm.

  41. Philly Baby says:

    @DallasBaby… thanks for the info. I’m do have other SD’s in mind, but I need a used car from one particular one. The other items that I would want would come from the other SD’s.

  42. DallasBaby says:

    When a person is so narcissistically absorbed in his own ideas or beliefs that he is totally oblivious to reality, they pursue their own solipsistic interpretation of reality so aggressively and persistently as to actually undo whatever it is they’re trying to accomplish.

  43. Michael Alleycat says:

    @DianaSBinOC – thanks for the comments.

    I have had arrangements a few times before, and the main reason they come unstuck is that people lie about who they are, what they are etc etc. I have been played before, and I did not like the experience. I go into arrangements with the desire that this will be a 6-12 month arrangement or longer, all things being equal. This is a fairly significant investment of time, money ($30k-$50k or more, $2k-$2.5k per month) and commitment to the relationship – because it is a relationship, no matter how you look at it.

    These days, I strongly follow SD Guru’s advice of don’t ignore the warning signs. I have ignored warning signs in the past, and totally got burnt. It is now my mantra – ignore it to your peril.

    I am all about the connection, communication & chemistry I have with someone, and with a great connection, you can have a great NSA relationship. I am not after a gf or a wife, but just a good time with someone I know, like and trust. I also have another part-time SB in CA, and we see each other each month or so, plus I am working on an IRL.

    During our first meet, we both talked quite openly about our past and current lives & relationships, sharing details re family, lifestyles, expectations etc. As with anything, I want to check that things line up. My view on life is that “the way you do anything, is the way you do everything”. So lies at the beginning of the relationship / arrangement, generally mean lies from that point on as well. If that is the case, I will look elsewhere.

    As far as checking, I looked on facebook, she has an open page and open pictures. I also use dirtsearch.org for further checking. It contains only public information and it has saved me a couple of times. Plus a quick google search. The whole thing takes 10 minutes. Trust, but verify. I would be surprised if my pots did not do the same with me, in fact I encourage them to do so. I do the same thing with potential business partners, tenants etc. Past history is a guide to future behaviour. I want to make sure she is not a fake or a flake, prone to drama, litigation or just trouble in general.

    One pot I was talking with, dirtsearch showed lots of litigation by her and against her, I immediately moved on. Too much drama, and a clear warning sign that involvement with her was going to end up in some kind of legal problem.

    I understand where you are coming from, but I hope you see where I am coming from as well. I want a NSA arrangement, with no drama, no aggravation, just have a good time together, that hopefully is going to last for more than a year or more. I don’t want to spend my time with people who do not meet my values or expectations, that’s all.

  44. DianaSBinOC says:

    I’m getting in late.
    @ Alleycat ( Micheal I think)~ I was curious to know why an SD would go through so much to find out details on an SB. I can see if you’re looking for a gf or wife but I was wondering if you’re reaching too far into that Sb’s personal life. I’m still new to all of this but I thought the purpose of this was for NSA -mutually beneficial arrangement. To be quite honest, after reading your post a few times to look at all sides of things, I got seriously creeped out.

    Now for SD’s that are providing an allowance of $10,000-$20,000 I can see here there may be concern for some details. Last time I read and please correct me if my information is incorrect, but the allowance you’re providing is less than 1,000 or just at $1,000 per month.

    Personally I don’t have anything to hide, however I would like a respectful distance from my SD as I wouldn’t be involved in all of his personal details either. I thought the purpose of the Sugar Bowl was to have your cake and eat it too, not to get the ingredients on how many eggs were used.

    Now on a pot SB’s end she would want to know that the SD is in fact real. Even if he’s truly a wealthy man, he may decide not to be forthcoming with sharing it with someone. Again it’s more on the SB’s end to research to see if the man in question can provide what she’s looking for.

    On an SD’s end ? If you find her attractive, enjoy conversations, great company then that’s usually it. How many children she has in Christmas photos seems almost too intrusive. I mean is this Sugar baby babies included in the allowance? Going on group family trips? No? Then you may want to shrug off the family photo collage and move into why you like her as your SB. Anything more than this can come off as stalker-ish.

    @ DallasBaby–Two Words: YOU ROCK!!!! You sound like you’ll be the next SB writing a book on the Sugar World. I’m so checking in here more often to read up on your experiences.

    @ Honey ~ Nice Idea!!! I’m chatting with a potSD Investment Banker. I think if I meet him , I may bring a cute notepad with me:) lol

  45. Alleycat says:

    Hey Kindred – what is the “status quo”? Do tell!

  46. DallasBaby says:

    I sent in my pictures to playboy and got a call back in just a few days and was off to the mansion. This is how I learned about the sugar daddy lifestyle !

  47. Kindred Spirit says:

    @Midwest~ Hi back! 🙂 I’m usually lurking, but have lessened my use of SA for now (very happy with the status quo). The blog is a delight to read, always.

    @DallasBaby~ Modeling for Glamour, how awesome!!! May I ask how you got into that business and how long you have been doing it? Just curious, and impressed!

    @Everyone out there~ Be good to yourself, mentally and physically. Have a sensation-filled day and smile like you mean it! 😀

  48. Honey says:

    someoneto start a sugar baby investment club.Meet once a month learn about stocks and pick a few.Did I mention drinks and a pool? what can I get to convince people to open up investment club.?
    Hi all

  49. CloseToIt says:

    thank you Midwest. I always read the blog, but that was the first time that I posted. It makes that, around 4 months that I am intensivly looking and I think I met one with who we make a perfect fit. We have a big age difference (almost 30 years) but I really like him. I cross my fingers that it will work.

  50. DallasBaby says:

    Yes, I know beachgirl but I have pressure because I do modeling shoots in glamour. More pressure from the other models who like to point out I have a tiny belly buldge I am only 5’2 so I do not have much room to grow.

  51. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!

    DallasBaby~ not eating is so not good for you… omg!
    I just started a 90 day challenge to lose weight and lost 6 lbs in almost 2 weeks!!! YAY me! building muscles and losing those pounds! Wooooo

    Midwest~ Hi Kitten

    Hope everyone had a great day!

  52. NewEnglandBaby says:

    Hey all, Any SB’s in the MA area? Random I know..

  53. DallasBaby says:

    I have this one sd who came up missing and I see why- he was on a bravo show putting a ring on another ladies finger who was not having sex with him but, she broke it off with him so he is back with me. he just poofed one day !

  54. DallasBaby says:

    I have this one sd who came up missing and I see why- he was on a bravo show putting a ring on another ladies finger who was not having sex with him but, she broke it off with him so he is back with me. he just poofed one day !

  55. DallasBaby says:

    Philly- more than one sd can make life easier because you do not have to pressure just one and when one lets you down no need to get upset as you have another until the other ones comes around again. sd ‘s can sometimes come up missing!

  56. Philly Baby says:

    Okay thanks Dallas Baby, but my allowance isn’t that high, & I’m shooting for my dream car.

  57. DallasBaby says:

    Also, you can buy one yourself with your allowance.

  58. DallasBaby says:

    Philly Baby- I would never ask just hint around you are looking for one.

  59. Philly Baby says:

    How long into an arrangement, before you ask for a car?

  60. DallasBaby says:

    Midwest, it says to cleanse for 3 months. I never get on a scale, I use the tape measure. I was a 27 inch around the mid section and now I am 25 inch. If i get off of the colon fiber I go back to 27. It keeps me from eating breakfast and lunch because it is so full feeling.

  61. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Hey DallasBaby! The cleanse went well, but I only did it for a month. Didn’t really lose weight, but did feel better. So glad to hear sugar is treating you well!

    LaL, Beach and Kindred!!! Nice to see you back!

    closeTolt – It took me four months to find each SD. Odd how that worked out, but it was consistent. Unfortunately, there is no set formula…I’ve seen some women go at it for a few years with a little success and some hit it within a few weeks. Just be patient and don’t compromise.

    Michael – Does it matter? If you’re looking for a gf, then perhaps. Sometimes women just want to keep some things private…it doesn’t necessarily mean we lack integrity. What do you think of trying one arrangement sans kids, even if it means just seeing each other once a week? I know your schedule is tough, but that’s what babysitters are for. Enjoy!

  62. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!!!
    Nico~ mail me girlie!!!

    Nice seeing everyone! Welcome to all the newbies! 😀

  63. DianaSBinOC says:

    @DallasBaby—-Pleeeeeeease go into full detail. I want to live vicariously through you!!! This blog does need more good positive sugar baby stories:) Please please I want to hear all!

  64. DallasBaby says:

    All is good- I am a full time sugar baby but I find if I go into details the men here get upset. pffft ! ( that is me sticking my tongue out )

  65. Nico says:

    Good to have you back. The blog has been dead for a while now. It has gone dormant….maybe you can help liven it back up 😀 How is sugar?

  66. DallasBaby says:

    Doing great ! I had my home internet off and could only use my phone net and it was never able to get on this blog without closing out the page on me.

  67. Nico says:

    Hello Dallas ~ was wondering what ever happened to you. How are you doing?

  68. DallasBaby says:

    Hello everyone ! Midwest- How did the cleanse go ?

  69. Alleycat says:

    @Belle – thinking about it some more, she probably thought that 2 kids from 2 marriages could sound a bit much, especially at the first meeting. I am sure both marriages ended in divorce.

    @SD Guru – yes, your spreadsheet is up to date. I had settled on a new #1, but I had to cancel our first meet as I got sick, then she cancelled 2nd meet as she got sick, then she got offered a placement with a UN agency out of country for 2 months. Much as I like her, I’m not going to stop looking, as I know she will probably keep on travelling or moving with her work. She is out of state as well. It will probably turn in to a part-time / casual thing.

    @Lulu – that’s great! When it works great, it’s pretty fantastic huh. Just gotta find the right person for you.

  70. Lulu says:

    This place is awesome! I met this man and he is AMAZING! we are going to Europe in 6 weeks! I really really didnt thought that I could meet people like him here, but is true! I love SA! you have changed me life 😀

  71. J says:

    JW, but has anyone on this blog been on a date or had a Diamond SD from SA? Just curious because I’m new and was wondering if they were any more reliable/trustworthy. (I know they are verified for wealth,)

  72. Belle Sugarbaby says:

    Alleycat- maybe he’s dead.
    it’s sad, but possible..

  73. Nico says:

    Alleycat – it could be her X-hubby’s boy? Ooooorrr, the conversation could’ve gone something like, I have a young daughter at home and she would say, oh, I do too. Unless you don’t chat further or inquire further she may not have thrown it out there. I cannot imagine she would try to hide something like that. Again, I might venture a guess – her X’s kid. You did say she was divorced…perhaps the boy came in from a different marriage?

    Hello Red Maru, Enigma, Midwest, Honey and Laughing at Life…..waiving at Guru too and anybody else I may have forgotten.

    Hello and welcome new blog friends!!!

  74. Alleycat says:

    @Homey – I can see how old they are from the photos. Boy is older, girl is younger. She also gave her own correct age, and the son’s age all lines up. It’s probably from another relationship, I’m sure it will all come out in time.

    • SD Guru says:

      It’s a bit of a red flag (SD Guru where are you?) but there may be something deeper that may come out as we get to know each other better.

      About a month ago you said you have a new #1. How did that go? So are you interviewing for #2 or #3?? Since you’ve only met her once, I wouldn’t expect her to tell you every detail about her personal life just yet. Be patient and she’ll probably let you into her life as she gets more comfortable with you.

  75. Honey says:

    Maye the daughter is older,making her older, Had an ex do that to me.

  76. Alleycat says:

    Happy Sunday to all!

    Had a great lunch / first meet with a new pot SB yesterday. Right age for me (mid-30s), local, teacher, v cute, athletic, divorced, has a young daughter as do I, everything lines up. Having dinner in a few days to close out the details.

    Anyway, so I start doing my checking (thank you dirtsearch.org!), and she is on facebook, and her (open) profile page shows she has a young son as well. So here’s the thing – why would she say she has a daughter but not mention her son? They are both on the profile page, Christmas photos of her and 2 kids, everything else is how she said. I am scratching my head over this.

    It’s a bit of a red flag (SD Guru where are you?) but there may be something deeper that may come out as we get to know each other better.

    Anyone got any thoughts or comments?

  77. Kindred Spirit says:

    Welcome back, LaughingatLife!!! Glad to see you are here and perhaps have been lurking. I had always enjoyed your posts, and hoped you’d stop by again.

    About your guy…well, whenever the other’s family (or sometimes even friends) are added to the sugar mix, no matter the circumstances, it may change the dynamics. Post-accident, does it make him feel a bit uncomfortable now that his family is part of this (even simply as supportive observers) very new relationship? Where you two haven’t even yet met in person? I suppose that is the one thing that stuck out to me in your post…. *Scratching my head* O_o I do hope it all works out for you, dear. Keep us posted, if you’d like. 🙂

  78. TexaSugah says:

    Hi all..

    Question – I agree. Ditch her.

    S – I don’t travel to meet a guy. Ever. Just me but the risk is to high. Some ladies do tho with great success.

    J- I agree with Midwest. It takes serious time to meet someone decent. If you come across desperate, guys will take advantage of you. Be careful.

    As to sugars, gift daddy and I had a serious convo. He’s not for me. He hasn’t pushed for sex and would be a great boyfriend. In fact, that’s just what he wants to be. Why does GF equal no assistance ?

    Anywhoo.. Remember contract guy? He’s back in the country. We met for lunch. He talked about what he was after. Gave a nice gift. Not a bad guy .. Just different.
    Another gentleman I’ve never met decided to pay pal me the allowance gift didn’t give. Odd but sweet. I was surprised. Guess it’s just one upping another man. I’ve never been in the same zip code with him. And no, no strange pics.

    Good deal because I haven’t been tending my sugar garden dealing with gift daddy. Oh well..

    Sugary thoughts dears.


  79. Wildatheart says:

    hello everyone, Im new to SA. I’m not sure how to get started. I have one SD whos emailed me pics and wants to meet. Told me his occupation and so forth… wants a mutually beneficial arrangement for who ‘”he” feels comfortable with. I need instructions step by step. Not sure if to meet first or email pics or call. Ive read the blogs but I would really like some more advice. Thank you.

  80. Enigma SD says:

    Hey LaL — he might be afraid that you won’t like the way he looks in person — maybe he sent older pics of himself. I suspect it is a self-confidence issue if you get along that well — just try to boost his confidence and I think he will show up 🙂

  81. laughing at life says:

    I would love your take on this new pot SD I have been talking to. We have been talking for months made 2 attempts at meeting, he lives out of my state. First time he had an accident in his car while traveling to meet me. This second time It was his sons birthday (he was killed in a car accident) And he was not feeling up to meeting.
    For my birthday he sent me a wonderful gift. We talk on the phone or text just about everyday. When he was in the car accident I talked to his family and they gave me updates on his condition. They were wonderful and very kind to me.
    I asked him the other day if he was afraid to meet me and he stated a little?
    Not sure what is going on and a bit confused. He is a wonderful man and we get along great. WE laugh, joke, tease have great conversations. Not sure what the problem is. He keeps telling me he is very excited to meet me, but something always comes up. Then he begs me for another chance.
    Can you see my concerns? I would love to have everyone’s input.
    Thank you

  82. closeToIt says:

    I am looking for an SD since many months. I listen to the advises of the blog: I am patient and I won’t settle for less than I deserve. My question is how long it has take for you girls to find your first great Sugardaddy? and then, for them who have had more than one, how long it took after to meet an other great one?

  83. DianaSBinOC says:

    Midwest~ Thank you for that honest post. I don’t think it sounded jaded at all. It was honest and clear. Plus you followed up with what great experiences you had as well:) Thank you for that:)
    Also I’m avoiding all “john” type members on this site.

    Anna Molly~ Love that your SD waited 6 weeks. This is exactly how it should be:)

    Great SD’s do exist!!!! Great Morning posts!!!

  84. Anna Molly says:

    Speaking of EX-SD, we are getting along better the second time around! He has changed quite a bit, but then again, so have I! I couldn’t ask for better a better man. 🙂

  85. Anna Molly says:

    Good morning everyone! It’s been a while since I posted so I thought I would drop by and say hello. 🙂

    J ~ My first SD gave me some very nice gifts on our first date. He was very sweet. 🙂

    The last SD I had would always give me a good amount of money to meet him for lunch and he did buy me a gift along the way. We did this for about a month, maybe six weeks before we were intimate. He wanted to wait until the time was right.

    The good guys are out there! You have to be patient and eventually you’ll find your knight in shining armor! 🙂

  86. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Wow- That last post sounded a little jaded. I have enjoyed sugar with some wonderful SDs that included so much that I would have never experienced otherwise. The allowances have enabled me to return to school and pay my bills…the trips were soooo memorable and the company will always be treasured. Keep your standards ladies and don’t let the players take away the wonders of sugar!

  87. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    J – Welcome. My personal opinion is pic collectors enjoy the challenge of getting women to send them nudes. Some SBs have received intro gifts of cash or some trinket, but it doesn’t happen often. I don’t expect or really want one simply because I don’t want a man to think he’s going to woo me with gifts. Some say it shows a man is genuine…I think he could still turn into a schmuck – gift or not. The “no-sex” SDs are very rare…typically much older men who don’t have an interest in sex. If you need immediate assistance, please look for a part-time job. Becoming an SB in order to meet an immediate need is very disappointing as it can take several months to meet the right guy. It also means you will consider compromising your principals in order to secure an allowance.

    Diana – There are other options besides P4P. I realize it’s becoming the norm, but P4P is not what most consider a mutually beneficial arrangement. Don’t fall into that trap unless you plan on having several SDs who are little more than johns.

    Morning sugars! You’re going to see less of me as things start to get super hectic. A new job, a new city and graduation are in my near future!!!

  88. J says:

    I’m a newbie, but I have a few random questions.

    1) Why would someone want to collect pictures? It’s the internet, theres billions of pictures floating around on Google,or even Facebook.

    2) Has anyone had a SD pot buy them an intro present?

    3) Where are the SDs that take the SB pots on shopping trips or even money ala the TV specials/shows prior to or without sex?

    4) If I needed immediate assistance, should I list it in my heading? Does this ever work for anyone?

  89. DianaSBinOC says:

    Originally wondered why a man would sign up here looking for a wife and/or girlfriend. Now I see that many of the men that are ignored or looked over on other sites can come here add that they make 10 million and have women from all over the world pushing to meet them. One guy (not an SD) told me he has a blast with this site because the women have run across country to meet him even though he averages about $30,000 a year.

    Another man stated he’s not here for play for pay but wants to find a woman to be his wife that will move to Canada. He just felt the women on this site were more attractive than any other site he’s been on for regular dating. Now his profile was lovely and sweet but of course I’m here to sugar date not to find a boyfriend or get married.

    So in my mind I’m thinking : Pay 4Play— (SUGARBABY)— Marriage. Couldn’t he hang out for a little while in the in between part? lol Marriage can happen if the feelings are mutual in a sugar arrangement but I feel going into an arrangement with this expectation could turn out miserable for both parties. Again where else would a lesser attractive older man go to find incredibly beautiful women that were competing for his attention and affections.? SA!!!

    Still hopeful that I’ll meet a wonderful SD.

  90. DianaSBinOC says:

    Is it possible to form real friendships with the people you meet on Seeking Arrangement?
    Yes it’s possible however I’m getting many guys on this site looking for marriage or a girlfriend. Not sure why such a change but
    Have you turned any of your SA relationship into more than just a SD / SB relationship?
    Haven’t met anyone that actually seemed like a real SD. So no.
    Do you have any innovative ideas on how to make Sugar sweeter to the general public?
    I would suggest offering webcam/video conferencing and or built in chat client as an option. To me someone that says their worth is over 5 million dollars should have no problems purchasing a $50.00 webcam. Most netbooks and laptops come with a built in webcam so spending extra may not even be necessary. To me this would cut down on the picture collectors and time wasting.

  91. c'mon people says:

    Question- Don’t humiliate yourself any more. It’s pretty obvious she is just not that into you in spite of your being a nice guy. She sounds like the type that will treat you like crap because you keep coming back for more. You didn’t even owe her the e-mail ending things. plenty of wonderful women out there who will treat you well and appreciate what you are offering

  92. Alleycat says:

    Hi S
    I don’t know if it’s just me, but I seem to do the opposite to the guys you are meeting. I travel to them, unless I fly them in from out of state. And a couple of times, I have travelled out of state to meet them.

    And I NEVER push for or ask for sex – talk about bad manners. In fact, the less I ask for it, the more I get, and the better it is! And it always happens on the 2nd or 3rd date.

  93. S says:

    Hey girls,
    Is it just me or do most guys want you to travel to them for the first meet? I’ve asked a couple if they would come to me and they always make it sound like it’s so much trouble especially if they aren’t even getting to get sex the first time. Even the nicest guys seem push for sex on the first meet or second meet. Is it normal to have sex on the second date…? I’m not sure if I’m being too picky.

  94. SteamSugar aka RedMaru says:

    Hey Enigma! Great to see you 😀

  95. Enigma SD says:

    NCB — I wouldn’t ever tolerate someone bringing up sex early in the getting-to-know-you process. People are on their best behavior and if that is the best….. well you know.

    Question — I am a firm believer that you only have one chance to make a first impression. You were a lot more forgiving and patient than I would have been. Don’t take it personally. She is likely having a lot of second thoughts on being an SB – thus the waffling.

    Heya Nico and Red Maru — always good to see you!

  96. SteamSugar aka RedMaru says:

    Hey sugars!
    Welcome to newcomers!
    Nico I’ve missed ya 😀

    New College Baby – Patience and faith dear. You are a great gorgeous talented SB. Your Sugar Prince will come. Hopefully you wont have to kiss that many frogs to get him. Sounds like you have the same quandry I have where sugar pickins is slim.

    Question – Sorry your sugar didnt work out for you but you will find your perfect match that appreciates you and your time

  97. Question says:

    Thank you for the advice, everyone. I emailed her and said that this is simply not working for me. I’ve been forthcoming with her allowance and have treated her nicely but she keeps cancelling at the last minute. So far no response.

  98. New College Baby says:

    Thank you to both Alleycat and Nico. After a long day I’ve decided to move on and wait for something better. Though at this point it seems as though in order to stop waiting I may have to move closer to the major sugar bowl areas (Texas, NY, LA, etc).

    Any advice on the subject of finding a great gentlemanly SD? I’ve got photos of myself from every angle, showing off my best assets ANC a profile that is a good portrayal of who I am (honest, kind, up front, and a cuddler). I send out quite a few messages a night that are polite and eye catching, but not a whole lot of responses and/or interest.

    Thoughts chicas and chicos?

  99. Nico says:

    Oh, “Question” good lord. I would say they’ve had plenty of opportunities. Plenty of lovely ladies willing to be far more accommodating. It can only get worse! Welcome btw 🙂

    Alleycat! Good to see you! As for the pot – if she showed a little too much skin she may just be a bit new and naive. Perhaps she needs a good gentlemanly SD to show her the ropes 😉 Especially if everything else seems to fit.

    College Baby – I would have to agree with Alleycat on this one. Sometimes you must demand respect. My X once said, never assume we know what you’re thinking….TELL US. So, I would stop with the subtle hints. Chances are, even if he’s making sexual jokes from the get go, he’s a P4P kinda guy or a pic collector or worse. Only you truly know based on your conversations.

    The one thing I will never compromise on is respect *playing Aretha Franklin in the background as inspiration*

  100. Alleycat says:

    New College Baby – if you want to have a temporary SD while you are looking for something better, that is up to you, but just know that there will be communication (and therefore respect) issues.

    However, much of the advice given here is “don’t settle for something less than you want, don’t compromise”. Otherwise it will bite you in the arse, and quite quickly.

    SD Guru’s rules – don’t ignore the warning signs, and don’t reward bad behaviour.

  101. New College Baby says:

    (accidental post) it sounds to me as if you should next her. Plenty of babies in the sugar bowl.

    Alleycat:Thank you for the advice. I agree and I’m not so certain her is fresh out of the refinery (or whatever the term is for the sugar world) as he has mentioned having a few SB’s before, but I don’t want a SD who is so rude about my job in a first conversation. :-/. The sugar bowl where I am is very sparse though, and I wonder if I can’t have a temporary SD while looking for something longer term. Is that ok?

  102. New College Baby says:

    Question: I would keep looking. I am always prompt and check in with the pot SD a few hours before to make sure that we are still meeting. I use the three strikes rule and it sounds like you’ve been more than fair. She doesn’t seem that interested or willing to accommodate her schedule to yours. I don’t have a SD as of yet, but I understand what this is about and I’ve never been late to a meeting and more than able to accommodate my pot SD.

    I think that is common courtesy. If you are willing to give her another shot then write her (why havent you exhanged numbers yet?) and ask her if she is truly serious.

    However it sounds to me as if she isn’t that interested and it’s time to k

  103. lola banks says:

    hiiiii everyone:) i’m new to this i have never had a sugar daddy i have always took care of myself but i’m looking

  104. Question says:

    What is people’s policies on SBs canceling dates? I met an SB, first date she cancelled an hour before, saying her schedule was too tight for a proper meeting but if I was on my way she’d meet me. Second time, she met on time for dinner. Third time, she cancelled a few hours before saying she wouldn’t wake up in time for our scheduled early-morning date. Fourth time, we met and things were good. Fifth time, she cancelled about 3 hours before, saying she was “sick” but that she’d meet me for dinner if I wanted or she’d “make it up” to me. I said, “fine, let’s meet for dinner,” since I don’t have time any other day this week, and she never answered my email. Is this time to end things or she deserves more chances?

  105. Alleycat says:

    Thanks New College Baby. I will probably meet her, but it was just a bit of a surprise.

    Re your pot, if he’s new to this he may be a bit nervous, but if he doesn’t pick up the hint immediately, he is obviously not listening to you. The whole experience with him may be fraught with poor communication. For this to be a successful relationship, good communication is key. I would next him.

  106. (New) College Baby says:

    Michael Alleycat: Listen to your gut, have a first meeting if she is close. Talk on the phone (if you haven’t already) and then see what you think. If you think it is ok, then it must be. 🙂

    I personally don’t show a lot of skin outside of what you would see in my normal clothes. I think you can get a sense of a persons figure and personality, as well as be sexy, in full clothes. 🙂 Just my humble opinion.

    Now I have a question: I talked to a pot SD tonight, but he seems fairly new, and he made sex jokes about my job (I’m a website manager and personal assistant), and I told him it was odd that he was, “talking about sex with a lady he didn’t know very well. Emphasis on the lady.” :-/ He didn’t seem to get the not so subtle hint.

    Thoughts?? Advice??

  107. Michael Alleycat says:

    Ok people – a question.

    Interviewing local pots and one is cute and meets most of the criteria, but her profile had only 1 pic. Asked for more photos, so I can get a better sense of her. Six photos later, one photo was a very “ahem” interesting photo.

    Kinda entertaining, normally a red flag, but in the context of this person it seems ok.

    Any comments?

  108. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    SteamSugar – My response would be “you may be a nice guy, but you were completely dishonest and disrespectful in your behavior towards me. You can go to xyz website if you’re only interested in chatting.” The nude pics should always be a red flag…even if they do show remorse. My guess is he’s some kid figuring out how to talk to women.

  109. SteamSugar aka RedMaru says:

    Morning sugars! I need some advice but before my story I answer le questions

    Is it possible to form real friendships with the people you meet on Seeking Arrangement?
    Yes and no. One pot SD I found on here remains my sugar friend to this day because we have a common interests although it didint pan out into a full blown arrangement so its possible

    Have you turned any of your SA relationship into more than just a SD / SB relationship?
    No but I wont say its not possible

    Do you have any innovative ideas on how to make Sugar sweeter to the general public?
    Not really. The general public is always going to be of several opinions 1) in favor “Hey more power to em” 2) totally apathetic “Whatever they do in their bedrooms/lives is not my business”
    or 3) totally opposed “It’s sex for money” “Its prostitution” yada yada” Like a previous poster said Its not my job to sway them and I rather not put the energy into it

    Ok my situation this pot who married and looking for an SB. I had been talking/IM back and forth with for about two weeks. It seemed that everything had been going well. He had requested pics which I sent all current which he said were lovely(his only complaint being I had too much clothing on….ooookay) He went so far to request a pic with me a t-shirt only and nothing else but backed down and apologized when I objected to it. Against all odds my hopes are up that things are moving into the meet stage because he from out of town especially when he said he would take me on a spa day) then are dashed when he said it was not “practical” for him to fly me up there long term….WHAT?!
    On my profile it says where Im located so I wondering why go through all this if distance was an issue? Or was it something else?
    Now I ask him again what he’s trying to get out of this : “You’re a nice person and I wanted someone to chat with” Am I being mean but I think he can go on dozens of others social networking sites and get someone to just chat with. Or even go somewhere in his locality for that. Am I being harsh?
    Please advise sugars!

  110. College Baby says:

    Do you have any innovative ideas on how to make Sugar sweeter to the general public?

    My answer to this is also a no. I am new to this lifestyle and I have had the gamut of responses, a lot of which have lost me some people I considered friends (and I haven’t been in a sugar relationship yet). The responses were thus:

    “Doesn’t that make you a whore?”

    “You love money. You’re so shallow”

    “You need to seek professional.”

    “If I pay you, will you sleep with me too?”


    I can say this, there is nothing easy about entering this lifestyle, but I find that having the group of people on the blog is fantastic, and if I could meet some sugars who have been in the lifestyle, IN REAL LIFE, then I would imagine it would be a lot better.

    I also know that some people’s minds can not be changed and they will think what they think regardless of how positive it is or how good it makes you feel about yourself. We don’t need ’em or their negativity.

    ;-P Brandon: I loved your first book, and it is what led me to this site, so I will have to download this one to my kindle (is it available??) soon.

  111. SouthernCharmSB says:

    Oooooh, I love the new questions! Congrats on your new book, Brandon! Seems like quite an exciting time for you! Wish you the very best!

    OK, let’s tackle the questions….let’s see here…

    Is it possible to form real friendships with the people you meet on Seeking Arrangement?
    DEFINITELY! My sugar relationships have all ended amicably and I still touch base with my ex-SDs every once in awhile. My SDs have been great friends, mentors, lovers and confidants. However, I would not have met them if I had not been exposed to the sugar world. Websites like SA, make it possible for great people with similar interests to connect and embark in fun adventures that otherwise would not necessarily be possible. To me, SA is online dating at its finest because we all just get to be open and straight-forward about our needs and desires, no sugar-coating necessary.

    Have you turned any of your SA relationship into more than just a SD / SB relationship?
    (sigh)…tough question…but yes, it has gone in that direction in some of my past arrangements. I think this is the bitter-sweet aspect of sugar dating because while I believe that for an arrangement to work there definitely needs to be a connection and mutual physical attraction, I also know that it can sometimes be hard to keep those “extra” feelings in check. It can definitely be done, but even with the understanding of a NSA relationship, it can still be hard. I’m actually in a situation right now (with my first married SD) where it may be that the arrangement will come to an abrupt end before it really even kicked off. The reasoning, from his perspective, is that he can really see himself developing feelings for me. My first instinct was to respond with, “but you’re married and have a family and you said divorce would never be an option” but then as I thought about it, I concluded that he is probably right. I mean, for me, the fact that he is married was not really an issue until he made it an issue. Yes, it’s true, I had already thought about what I would do if I started to develop feelings for him, but I guess for me it seemed easy since he is married and off-limits in the traditional sense – I figured I would cross that bridge if and when I got there. Then again, he is the only married SD I have been involved with so this is new territory for me too. I guess only time will tell what will or will not happen with us. Alas, the bitter-sweetness of sugar dating.

    Do you have any innovative ideas on how to make Sugar sweeter to the general public?
    In essence, no – everyone is entitled to their own opinion and most people only pick bits and pieces of information based on how they perceive things to work. These people are usually not open to new ideas or ways of doing things and therefore would not be open to learning about the different lifestyles of others. It is what it is. There will always be people that define sugar dating as prostitution and there will always be people who can look at the bigger picture and understand the many aspects of sugar and the advantages that come with these types of relationships.

  112. Honey says:

    TB, do keep me in the loop!

  113. Philly Baby says:

    Do you have any innovative ideas on how to make Sugar sweeter to the general public?

    Trust me I have tried and it’s so hard to trying educate people on how this works, but people are always gonna remain narrow-minded and naive. And thats just sad. I’ve asked this lady one question and up to this day haven’t gotten an answer yet.

    Me: You have a boyfriend/husband right????
    Lady: Yes, why yes I do!!??
    Me: You’re both having sex, are good companion and he’s giving you money right??
    Lady: Okay…… (looking at me thinking, where in the hell is this going)
    Me: What if he stops giving you money but you’re still having sex with him, and he’s still you’re companion; what then? How would you determine the rest of your relationship???????
    Lady:………………………………………………………………………… still looking for my answer

    p.s I just wish God can help those people( who have a little yay & not nay) help they damn self smh!

  114. texasugah says:

    Evening all..

    Honey and Midwest…

    Ladies, you are very correct. This is a definite new one on me. Especially since we spoke about this so explicitly. We have a date on Wednesday.. I guess we’ll all find out what’s up then.

    As to educating the masses.. no thanks. Really.

  115. Nico says:

    Great new topic….was interested in learning more about the new book. I might just have to pick it up.

    In the interim, I’ve not spent much time contributing to the questions presented on the blog so….here goes nuthin’…

    Is it possible to form real friendships with the people you meet on Seeking Arrangement? – – Absolutely. While I’ve only met a few people (from the blog) in real life, the relationships I’ve had through the site will undoubtedly last a lifetime. There’s something that brings us together in the first place and even when the relationship side of things have moved on, the connection remains. I too have been fortunate to maintain those friendships even after the passing of the relationship.

    Have you turned any of your SA relationship into more than just a SD / SB relationship? – – At one point it was definitely headed that direction but we both pulled back. I’m big on communication and I’m single so I suppose if we were both communicating heavily about the possibilities of something IRL happening then I might be more open; however, knowing my SDs were all married, the reality of the situation spoke much more clearly. With all the stars properly aligned I might just consider it…..

    Do you have any innovative ideas on how to make Sugar sweeter to the general public? – – No. I do not believe we need to educate the general public. You enter into a debate type setting and who really cares what other people think of this type of dating. It’s not our responsibility. For those that show an interest they seek this out for themselves. Exclusivity is always a better marketing tool. If people feel like they cannot be granted entrance then they want it that much more. I like Midwest’s idea – take it underground. By bringing in too many people you dilute the sincerity of the message originally portrayed.

    Welcome Newbie SB – if you have a question you’re welcome to post it here. We all (SDs and SBs) may be able to give you some help or guidance to a past blog that might help you with your question(s).

    Have a great day my sugar family!!

  116. Susie says:

    Hi Sd’s
    I’m so playful and love to have fun and please yes you can say this scorpio loves to please and be pleased, Looking for the right person to cuddle, laugh, watch football, romantic dinners, ridding horses and so much more

  117. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    TS -You are quickly falling into gift daddy/ girlfriend territory. If you need an allowance, you’re going to have to either pass or find a second SD. I say wait until the 1st and if he doesn’t come through, then he’s been stringing you along. All that said, if you really like him….keep your options open.

    I love the new blog questions Brandon! Good luck with the book!

    Is it possible to form real friendships with the people you meet on Seeking Arrangement? ABSOLUTELY! This special lifestyle gives us a common bond and I’ve made at least one true friend and several sweet ladies who know they can write/ call for anything or would welcome me into their homes and vice versa.

    Have you turned any of your SA relationship into more than just a SD / SB relationship? As stated above..yes. In addition, my former SDs have remained mentors and friends. I’m one very lucky lady!

    Do you have any innovative ideas on how to make Sugar sweeter to the general public? Honestly, all you can do is educate people and accept that there are going to be close-minded people (particularly in the US) who will never get it. I like it that way because they don’t belong in the sugar bowl anyway. You don’t appreciate the sugar unless there’s a little spice. I will say that (same as in dating) leave them wanting more. A little mystery can go a long way!! 🙂

    Let’s go underground!

  118. Honey says:

    Hi,TS, I would keep telling him my needs. How hard it is to concentrate on him when you have bills….otherwise he;s just a boyfriend, not a sugardaddy..imo…

  119. newbiesb says:

    Im a newbie sb and i want to talk to some fellow SB on dealing with an SD.

  120. Ana says:

    Where in the world are all these awesome SD’s?!?!

  121. Texasugah says:

    YAY!! Another blog! I’ve been waiting for a new one to follow..

    Anywhoo… I hope everyone is well and enjoying the shift in the weather. I know we are down here.

    With all of my sugar experience, I need a little advice. I’ve been seeing a sugar who is pretty great. In fact, I’ve stopped chatting with others and really have been just hanging with him. What’s the issue????

    1. Allowance – the fact that there hasn’t been any. He tells me that he’s getting a credit card for me, which would be great; however, zippo. He says that it will be here around the 1st. Ok.. I’m waiting.
    2. I think he’s low-balling on the allowance amount. Why? He’s been fairly transparent with his job and so forth. Yesterday, he wanted to cook for me so he got a room at one of the two five star hotels in Houston.. for dinner. Well, actually a suite.
    3. He wants to take a trip to Vegas, we’re going to be staying at a very nice hotel 5* and he has a dinner/entertainment line up that’s over the top. I mentioned my attire and he said “well, everything you’ve worn so far as looked great.” REALLY???? Yet he tells me that he wants to buy me a nice piece of jewelry while we’re there? Honestly, I don’t turn down high carat gold and or precious stones simply because of the long term appreciation yet, that doesn’t meet my immediate needs.

    I have communicated with him what I need in the immediate.. I don’t know if he’s stalling because he’s seen my home (which I work hard to stay in with the economy) or what the deal is.

    Of course, as a wise sugar once said (Honey) he’s not the only game in town but he has been the most gentlemanly (is that a word) he treats me, in all other respects, as if I were the most precious thing in the world. I truly enjoy his company yet…

    Generally, I would move along but.. this is comfortable and I’ve had experiences in the little time we’ve been together that I wouldn’t have otherwise. And since I’m too close to the situation, I need a little objective advice.


  122. Ana says:

    Will it be available on e-readers, specifically Nooks in the near future?

  123. SA Moderation Team says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!