9 years ago
The Upcoming Sugar Daddy British Invasion


Two weeks ago, SeekingArrangement.com got a big boost in the United Kingdom.  First the BBC channel in the UK broadcast a story about our last Sugar Daddy Party held in New York on October 10, 2011.  In the story, the BBC reporter mentioned that SeekingArrangement.com is planning to bring the Sugar Daddy parties over to London.  This was followed quickly by The Daily Mail and The Telegraph, which ran stories about the SeekingArrangement.com parties!

December 12, 2011 — The Next SeekingArrangement.com Party

Due to popular demand, we’ll be throwing yet another Sugar Daddy Party in New York City on December 12, 2011.  For more information about our Holiday Sugar Daddy party, please visit SeekingArrangementParty.com where you can buy tickets!  Like our last event, this one will be held at The Copacabana nightclub — this time it will be on their rooftop!  And while I could not make the last party due to me missing my flight connection in Frankfurt, this time around I will be there.  So if you are attending, be sure to say hello to me on December 12.

Sugar Daddy Parties Cities

In 2012, we have big plans for our  Sugar Daddy parties.  We are currently working on planning our first London Sugar Daddy party which will be held between March – May, 2012.  That will quickly be followed by a party in Los Angeles, Miami and Toronto.

We are sending TWO Sugar Babies to London…

For the London party, we are looking to send two beautiful and lucky Sugar Babies from the United States to represent us. (This will include 2 round trip airline tickets from New York to London, hotel, transportation, and of course tickets to our London party.) To qualify for the drawing to represent us, you MUST attend the December 12 party in New York, and bring a friend of yours with you.  Both of you should submit a written essay about why you should be picked to represent SeekingArrangement.com in London.  You can either send me your essay to brandon (at) seekingarrangement.com or hand your essay to me when you see me on December 12!

With almost 50,000 registered members from the United Kingdom, and London being our largest city outside of the United States, the sugar daddy and sugar baby scene is ripe for an explosion in Britain. And while most people may think the Brits are more conservative than their American counterparts, it appears not to be the case.  British Sugar Daddies are already well verse in the art of chivalry and how to be a gentlemen, and British Sugar Babies do certainly know how to have lots of fun.  Personally, I believe the art of being a Sugar Daddy and a Sugar Baby is already deeply ingrained in the British culture.

If you are a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby from the United Kingdom, do introduce yourself to the sugar family.

If you are an American, have you been contacted by a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby from the UK?

Would you ever consider a trans-Atlantic sugar relationship? 

What do you find most sexy about a British Sugar Daddy (or a British Sugar Baby)?

Leave a Reply

278 Responses to “The Upcoming Sugar Daddy British Invasion”

  1. Elya600569 says:

    Hi all! I’m looking forward to the party launch in London,i’m from Romania and NY is not easy reachable.Wish u all Happy Xmas!

  2. splash says:

    i think i should set up a page to round up all the british SB’s,am busy now but from feb i should be less busy and we should have a meet before the british INVASION,i think it would be so much fun,i cant ask any of my friends along,as i keep this special world of mine and the person i am in this world very private,so it would be much better to go with a fellow SB

  3. splash says:

    LOL mimi @ koala bear,i can just imagine,trust me iv given up on the british guys the few that are generous are very well travelled and have lived abroad,these few are quite generous,the scottish are the worst ha ha…one particular one who owns huge brit company,you would not believe buys his shirts at tesco,yes TESCO lol,they tend to talk in terms of love,i almost asked one,if i were to bottle just love minus sx and sold it to men,would you be happy to buy that and have it for the rest of your life?of course none of them would buy that,they would love the coctail(love& sex) in that case they need to realise women orgasm more when given love,sx and that major ingredient ‘sugar’ aka money /spoiling)

  4. MiMi says:

    My gosh! I never realised there are these many active British SBs! 😮 I thought I was alone! 🙁
    But splash – you are so right! Brit SDs are ridiculously stingy when it comes to spoiling and being a gentleman – taxis are something that I am very touchy about. I feel safer with them and feel like they care when they ask and insist on a taxi – which I almost always refuse since I cling to my bus pass and walking skills like a koala bear.. 🙂

  5. splash says:

    blog gods please share my email with gracewinter,il fill you in on my experience as a black british sb privately,i haven’t had a problem attracting them at all and the impression i get is a lot of them love black girls mostly the super slim ones,my only problem is these british men need to learn to be generous with their ladies,more so if it is a SB/SD relationship,they are so damn old fashioned and expect so much from a woman and yet give nothing back,except flowers 🙁 guess iv run out of flower versesi might as well be a florist ,they also find it a huge problem to pay for a taxi,dont get me wrong but this shouldn’t even be asked for,most men should know this,and your right,over seas dating should be our 2012 plan,lets give the brits a miss,we can keep them as blood brothers for now ha ha…. 🙂

  6. Jennie says:

    Ok, I need some advice. After about three or four emails on this site I do give the people that I like my number. Im really not into endless emails and would rather talk on the phone. Would it be rude of me to block a sd if he continues to email me after I leave him with a number? To pervent endless emails, I am seriously concidering this.

  7. Tyaddir says:

    I would absolutely consider but first I need to manage the states, I signed up for this sight years ago and met one guy, who turned out to be a joke, and now after all the press I have decided to revisit. I read all of the stories on how lucky the girls have been but it’s just not working for me, I don’t have anything against anyone, but who says that SD has to be for the thin? I’m not a bbw but I am thick and think I deserve a SD, so maybe a Brit or an Italian is what I realy need.it seems they like their women softer:-)

  8. Gracewinter says:

    @splash. You are sooo right. British men are sooooo not generous.. They are just different. Sometimes i wonder if the know the meaning of the term ARRANGEMENT. I do wish i lived in America but i am now considering having a long distance arrangement. Maybe we can both find SD’s in America and travel together. I have not yet found the ideal/perfect arrangement. I have met up with two SD’s but disaster!!!. I have spoken to a few on the phone but one or two things put me off. How are your experiences as a black british SB. You can message me if the are too private.

    But erm, now you mention. This is thefirst seekingarrangement party in the UK. It probably will attract a lot of UK attention, possibly the press. I hope the press are not there, well hope seeking arrangement won’t let them as that will be a breach of privacy.

    @Toplass. Most SD that say over 20 thousand monthly are most likely to be fake. Yes some SD’s love to treat their women and are generous but definately not a bank. Very few maybe one or two if you are lucky who do agree on 20 thousand monthly. But they are not likely to be in the UK hun :(. Some SD’s who send emails that seem tooooooo composed. Tooo perfect. Some are copy and paste from other profiles or create one email and send to loads of SB’s. In my experience they are most likely to be fake. Beware of SD’s that will say, okay £500 each time we meet. They might just be an average pretending to want an arrangement and might just want a one time booty call and dissapear. The one’s that place their offer of money and tell what they want in the first message without asking anything about you, i would say, would suit an escort more as they won’t give a damn on who you are and just want some sex and fullstop. An arrangement is a little more than that, but not as complicated and full on as an arragement.

    And oh, the one’s that don’t have a photo on their profile. Okay fare enough a privacy thing even though you can hide your picture on here, but never mind. If they refuse to send you photo on hotmail and say , lets just meet. Stay away!!!! and erm the one’s that want your bank details to send you money after one meeting or even through emailing or on the phone… NNNNOOOOOOOO HUNNY!!!!

    It’s best to just know what you want an stick to that. It might take you a while to find a SB. Definately a while in the UK , but one day, a handsome gent, will be the perfect SD for you.


  9. EbonySB says:

    Hello all! I have been on this site for a few months, still waiting for an arrangement. Just wanted to introduce myself. Guess I’m still learning how all this works.

  10. Galway92 says:

    Hey I’m a new sugar baby (kinda nervous about this) lookin for a sugar daddy in Ireland somewhere or even someone who’d come visit me and we could stay in a hotel somewhere?
    anyone fancy a hot short trip to Ireland?? Thanks guys!

  11. Ohioan SB says:

    Hi Everyone! I have never read the blogs but you all seem really fun and interesting. I used to be on this site, but then quit for a while after a really really bad experience.

    I’m back now because honestly, I miss it. I miss the good guys I have met and had a great time with. I have learned to be more careful about the people I meet now.

    Anyways, I don’t think I would date someone from the UK. Their accents are incredibly sexy and I would love it, but I am going to have a really hard time trusting again after my past SD meet up. Maybe if he were to come here to the US, it could possibly work.

  12. nirmala says:

    i am a uk SB and would love to have a SD from the US. i think the accent is sooo sexy

  13. splash says:

    @ ASIANBABY sure lets exchange emails and lets meet just before the party and would be lovely to go together,much more fun,am currently in france but i live in london,il be back end of january,let me know if this is ok so the blog gods can give u my email,oh and let we london sb form a kind of support group like i see the american sb do,its just so nice to have friends who lead the same lifestyle,dont get me wrong i have friends but i would never tell them about this sb lifestyle,they would judge me,all they think is i just tend to meet wealthy men and they often ask how do you meet them,i say at the private clubs i go to…bwaha ha …lie 🙁 am tired of telling pokies

  14. AsianSB says:

    @Splash..We should grab coffee one day if you’re in London. xx I encountered the same with British men. Perhaps..Those that are attending this party can meet up prior? xx Calling all UK SBs. Smiles.

  15. splash says:

    @gracewinter,same here am a black british sb although not as tall as you,am slim and 5’7 with long legs, i also tend to have a lot of mail from the USA,to be quite honest,am considering giving the british men a miss,they tend to want sugar from the SB yet cant offer sugar,i have only ever had one successful brit sd and it lasted 2years,and in fact i had to tame him,and i told him if he can’t meet my needs yet i am meeting his,then he had best find someone else,thats when the tables changed and he then set up enough sugar, he loved my company that even after we parted,he still wants to get back with me,but i can’t,i no longer find him attractive and i don’t want to do it just for the money,this may come across as bashing my fellow brits,but the truth must be told,they are not very generous and almost forget sugardaddy dating is far from traditional dating,guess its time i edit my profile and bug me an american man lol, on the other side i see the american men love to spoil their ladies,i have friends that do the more traditional dating,most are married to american men,but god do these men spoil them and the funny thing is they are not even millionaires but with the life style they offer these girls,one would think they are,anyhow i cant wait to attend this event,but i am a little worried,i hope our photos wont be flashed a round the british tabloid,i hope they seek permission before taking anyones picture

  16. Toplass says:

    Hi SB’s and SD’s,
    I’m still a bit new to this site, i’m from and living in ireland but planning on moving to the uk in the new year. I was wondering how can you tell if a profile is fake. I haven’t got much mail but some of the SD’s that do mail me i think or fake profiles. Is there anyway to tell or do i just have to take a chance with them.
    Thanks Toplass 🙂 x

  17. Gracewinter says:

    Finally a party in London. I feel that it’s definately tricky finding the right SB in the UK, especially for me as i am young black lady and happen to be 6ft with extra long legs. I have had all kind of crazy requests. Some just based on my colour or height. There are quite a lot of fakes as well which i feel could all be avoided if there were parties where you can just meet face to face.

    I am looking forward to this party. Wish it could come sooner. Also wish i lived in America or Canada as i get a lot of interest from there. But am in England, so hope these parties will be a success….

    Can’t wait! 😀

  18. Stephen ( English Solicitor ) says:

    Finally a UK Sugar Party !!
    As a Brit who travels between NY and London I never been around for the US parties but now your bringing them to London, American ladies Watch out

    Looking forward to the UK party. So when is it ?


  19. Anna Molly says:

    Good morning everyone!

  20. BalletGirl says:

    Haha, serious skills aside, I don’t think when White Knights get played by a scammer or just a needy, greedy SB, they know they’re getting played. If they did, they wouldn’t do it. But once it happens a time or two, they’re much more on their guard. It’s probably not personal, it’s likely just that he’s now wary of getting taken advantage of– which is sad, but understandable.

    He didn’t know they were taking advantage of him until it was too late, so how’s he to know a good SB isn’t doing the same? I agree that’s not the way it should be in a perfect world, but I do understand it to an extent.

  21. NewYorkGirl says:

    SD Guru , you are funny , made me smile. 🙂
    Go to hell (telling you with love and laugh).

  22. NewYorkGirl says:

    Here it goes…. Just my thoughts, nothing personal:)
    Somehow some guys With “white knight ” syndrome (like your’, Arcadia, ex) would rather send / wire money to a needy liars they have not met and may be will never meet with horrid make up stressful stores (and ironically many of SDs asked you “no drama please” ) than donate fair amount /give extra present (god forbid ) to his real nice cute fun SB who makes him laugh, forget about all his worries, and ,yes, makes him cum 3 times in 1,5 hour.

    Why would “white knights” FEEL much better like they are saving starving word, planet and would send THOUSANDS USA dollars to fake liars , male drug addicts than pay his girl’ gym membership or just send her kid to winter camp.

    May be it is a part of American Dream…. Saving someone from poverty, desperation, bringing democracy to Iraques….

    They have to do something extreme , just donate art supplies to a local school (buy Jimmy Choo shoes to his GF) just not his thing, does not feel like he is “knighty” enough.

    Ok, guys, u r welcome to hate me now.

  23. NewYorkGirl says:

    Arcadia, golden words, golden words. You make me think about the “white knight” phenomenon.

  24. Arcadia SB says:

    @SD Dude, Alleycaat, Guru, and Midwest – Sometimes I think the best of both SDs and SBs are on the blog. There are so many people looking to take advantage of each side. I’m feeling good for the moment for having found, seemingly, two potentials who aren’t horrible.

    One thing I notced, white knight syndrome wise, with my former SD in the US. I was (I like to think) a pretty darn good SB. I didn’t have excuses about not being able to meet, thoroughly enjoyed his company as he enjoyed mine, used the money towards graduate school, and never tried to pressure him for more than our agreement, but enjoyed what we had together. He told me about past “SBs” one of whom was married and lied to him about it, she and her husband were on drugs and she was always asking him for money to make rent, and he sent it to her. The same with another sob story from a woman with two children. He gave the first thousands of dollars and the second a thousand dollars without meeting. Basically, he was far more generous with the women who needed saving than he was with me, who didn’t pressure him or have to make rent. I was happy with him, but sometimes got frustrated hearing these stories because it felt like their bed behavior was being rewarded more than my good behavior!

    So I think all SDs should be willing to reward a good SB over a needy, sob story, potentially scam SB any day…and there shouldn’t be any stress or drama to the relationship! that’s not what SB/SD is about!

    Good luck in your continued search SD Dude, and don’t worry! There are good girls out there. I figure there must be if there are actually some good SDs out there as well 🙂

  25. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    We definitely need to help our men screen better. Someday you’ll take us up on the offer. Who better to screen women than other women? You send us your top 10 and we’ll narrow it down for you. (For a small fee, of course 🙂 )

    j/k….really. REALLY!

  26. Alleycat says:

    Hi all
    @SD Dude – screen, screen, screen, and NEVER give money unless it is in the context of a totally communicated, agreed arrangement. I know that White Knights give money & support out of kindness and then that gets exploited as in many cases kindness is also a weakness. Don’t give them that opportunity. I cut off my last SB as she tried to exploit my kindness. You just have to be able to draw a line and say “no”. It is a surprisingly liberating word! To quote SD Guru – “don’t make their problem your problem”, and my favourite (yes, it is still up on the fridge) “don’t ignore the warning signs”.

    Back to interviewing AGAIN – I started with someone new recently, but just no chemistry, so I am back to the search. My out of state pot turned out to be crazy. Wow.

  27. SD Dude says:

    long time since I posted, but the “White Knight” conversation just demanded a reply. I am def a White Knight and have been taken advantage of a couple times. Once just a flat scam, never met the woman, sob story, I sent some cash. Turned out she was fake! shock!! But worst of all of her pictures are of this model out of Chicago that clearly has no idea this is going on. She still has two profiles up with these fake pictures. I’ve emailed SA about this but I guess it’s buyer beware.

    The other was a long term love con. Met the women a lot, paid her thousands and thousands of dollars. Purchased her jewelry and all for nothing. She never hooked up with me, lied to me repeatedly and eventually sold the jewelry, Tiffany at that, on ebay. Sigh.

    Look I’ve gotten a lot smarter about all this but, I am what I am. I’m not affliction t-shirt alpha male guy. lol

    Everyone is right, it’s just relentless screening. But I’ve lost a lot of faith in the women of SA too. Very few seem to want a sd/sb thing. I’m not sure what some of them want actually.

    I dunno i’m rambling a little. The love con women still pisses me off to even think about.

    • SD Guru says:

      @SD Dude
      Everyone is right, it’s just relentless screening. But I’ve lost a lot of faith in the women of SA too. Very few seem to want a sd/sb thing. I’m not sure what some of them want actually.

      Welcome back! I remember your story from a year ago. Even though you’ve gotten smarter, as a white knight you’re naturally attracted to the damsel in distress type which usually don’t make good SB’s. Steer clear of that type with relentless screening and you should have a better exprience. If that doesn’t work, then you should examine your experiences to see if there is a common theme that you can learn to avoid in the future. Good luck!

      My out of state pot turned out to be crazy. Wow.

      Details please! :mrgreen:

  28. Amber says:

    CONGRATS*** geez… I cant spell today, Not feeling too punctuative either!

  29. Amber says:

    Arcadia.. COGRATS! Knock both of their socks off! Choose the better gentleman… or if they dont have a problem date them both.. *really* get to know the both of them and then decide.. Or send one MY WAY! still dont have a sugar daddy or any potentials!!!

  30. Arcadia SB says:

    Thanks guys 🙂 I appreciate it!

  31. BalletGirl says:

    Good luck Arcadia!

  32. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Yay Arcadia! Keep us posted!

  33. NewYorkGirl says:

    Arcadia SB. I hope it will work and you will have a “relationship” with one of them 🙂 (or two) 🙂

  34. Stormcat says:

    Congrats Arcadia . . . Best of luck there.

  35. Amber says:

    Well what about donating to childhood disease research? Or maybe getting with a local hospital or oncologist to help pay for treatment 4 those who don’t have insurance or they’re insurance dance isn’t great. Pol with cancer often get a one lump sum that’s not near enough to pay the 4 chemo.. then if they beat it they usually have already lost their job and insurance thru that job if the cancer comes back eits a ‘pre existing’ condition. We have a pennies for Abby donation our community e people give change for abbys family.. they usually advertisee at local businesses or bike runs. Maybe u can find somebody near u and donate that way u can watch as ur funds change and save lives… if nothing else ur money will improve the quality of life if they don’t beat cancer

  36. KindredSpirit says:

    Charities…something I’m very picky about cuz I like to see firsthand exactly where my hard-earned money goes. Keeping it local helps a lot, but I also talk in depth with the charity members to learn as much as possible and visit regularly. Besides monetarily I also volunteer and donate my time, which is so fantastic when you’re so passionate about a cause…. *Warm Fuzzies*

  37. Arcadia SB says:

    Randomly interjecting into the conversation some goodness that I just can’t share with anyone IRL.

    I hadn’t logged onto SA in about a month or two and came back to some nice emails that were, whoops, two to three weeks old. I responded and began conversing with two pots, have had one great meet, and have another meet coming up (they ended up arranged kind of out of order, I’m generally a one man woman…but oh well, we’ll see who is the best fit). Both seem charming, smart, fun, interesting, respectful and truly interested in helping me and getting to know me as a person. One is local and one is out of town

    The OOT pot didn’t even blink at the allowance amount I was hoping for to pay for school and said it was not only doable bot there was potential for travel and other perks (assuming we click…and who ever knows about that, just the email exchange makes me feel better about humanity as a whole right now). He’s going to come to my town for an initial meet. If our first get-to-know-you-(no-test-drive,-thank-you) meet goes well, we’ll hang out for a few days. If not, no harm no foul we’ll go our separate ways…assuming he’s not an out and out liar. After googling him extensively he seems legit. I hope we click, but it’s nice not to feel any initial pressure either way, because he’s such a gentleman and communicates his expectations so clearly (something I need to work on doing in person, I’m so good at it over e-mail).

    The local pot and I met up for drink and he was so confident and chill that it immediately put me at ease (I’m a super nervous first dater, try to be calm…but I fail). We had so much fun together and he brought up the whole why are you on SA and allowance…I was up front and communicative, until it got to allowance amount…I did choke on being super straight forward and just saying it…but he seemed to notice it was just something hard for me to discuss and said, “why don’t you think about it and e-mail it to me.” Super nice way to help me with my own shortcomings as a communicative SB. We set up another date this week.

    So for the first time in a while I’m feeling really upbeat about my sugar prospects…I have two! I’m just worried, what if I really hit it off with both? I’ve never been in that situation before…but I won’t be counting any chickens before they hatch. Right now I’m jut enjoying my restored faith in sugar-humanity. I could end up with neither, but for the moment I’ll pretend 😉

    Sorry for my positive, bubbly, over share…just enjoying when thing actually seem to go right on SA and the SDs show the best a man can be. I hope I can show as an SB the best a woman can be 🙂

  38. BalletGirl says:

    I’m actually not much for handbags. Never have been, shoes on the other hand… ;).

    As for charities, you could always look into something local, depending on where you live. Women’s shelters and food banks are always a good bet around holiday season. I usually send a few dollars towards children’s miracle network, myself.

    And Stormcat ~

    Yes I’m a dancer, not pro– just a ten-hour-a-week hobby.

    About the age difference, yes and no. It was more that he reminded me of my old Prof, which in turn made me feel awkward. The way he talked to me was very similar to the way that my former professor spoke to his class, right down to what he talked ABOUT, though he was very polite. The physical resemblance had me kind of thrown for a loop from the start, and I was unable to recover any sense of attraction. We also stumbled over the fact that we had a mutual acquaintance in our day to day lives, which I think sent both of us running in opposite directions.

  39. Anna Molly says:

    I donate to local food banks all year! 🙂

  40. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Hahaha….correction “received so many compliments!” I just noticed their website isn’t retail anymore, but you can find the bags elsewhere.

  41. Stormcat says:

    Why buy a Ralph Luran that looks like Prada? Buy a Prada if you want that look. Or a Coach if you want that. Buy a Ralph Lauren that looks like Ralph Lauren if you like that. But If Ralph Lauren can’t make something that uniquely looks like Ralph Lauren then it is simply a wanabe.

  42. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Honey – Check out Christine Price purses. I got one last year and have received so many qualities! Very well made, gorgeous and not the “typical” designer.

    As for charities, homeless veterans seems to be a hot issue at the moment. Also, donating childrens’ gifts at a local shelter or small hospital is a nice gesture. (Just make sure it is small and portable if children are in transit from foster homes or shelters) If you want to give your time, reading in person or putting someone’s favorite books on media at the local nursing home or geriatric wing is a wonderful way to brighten someone’s holiday.

  43. NewYorkGirl says:

    To Honey…. About your purse, coach girl.
    What do you think about Ralph Lauren purses? They range from $150 to $2000. 🙂
    And some of them look just like Prada.

  44. DorkyGuy says:

    @NewYorkGirl, PM me on my account, I can get you in touch.

  45. NewYorkGirl says:

    Dear BLOG GODS,
    Please delete my post from Nov.28, 11-12 am.
    (or someone here knows how to write to them/communicate with moderators).

    Thank you

  46. NewYorkGirl says:

    VA gent. Thank you very much for advices . I have to think how I feel about him and all the arrangement thing. 🙂
    For now I did not answer his text today. I need a few days (to read GURU blog, and process all your advices). 🙂
    I hate to feel used, just coz I am nice and would not use /abuse no one.
    VA I KNOW! I was exactly what he needed (we do not discuss in side closed door business here ), but he was very VERY pleased and impressed and shocked how good we ” clicked”.

  47. DorkyGuy says:

    I’ve gotta say… you girls are sweethearts… I just encountered a very abrasive SB, and it really got under my skin. But coming back to the blog and seeing SBs discussing favorite charities really warmed my heart. You guys are the sweetest… 🙂 Sugar indeed!

  48. Arcadia SB says:

    @ HOney – Just because it’s an issue near and dear to my heart that doesn’t get much propoganda cause no one famous has had it: Schleroderma Research is a great charity. My Grandmother has this disease, which generally kills…for her it’s just cause many many health complications (and she may lose her foot this week due to issues it has caused with her circulation). Though, any cause is worthy…but helping them find a cure for Schleroderma is a good one that doesn’t often get attention!

  49. Honey says:

    AND>>> I’m looking for a favorite charity. I donate all around,kiva, planned parenthood, political stuff. and eventually I’ll start my own favorite charity but what’s a good one? I like women and childrens’ issues and micro loan and helping third world peoples….u may stay I’m a dreamer….

  50. Honey says:

    Burberry is just a bit too staid for me, Anna Molly, too British. I’m more with the colonist/creole /new world style. I mean, I love plaid, but prefer scots’ plaid colors, maybe he private school influence..
    Hermes, I would have to get used, cause if I go into Hermes, I’m coming out with some BOOTS! Thanks.

  51. Anna Molly says:

    I like Burberry, Longchamp and Hermes myself. 🙂

  52. Honey says:

    Hi all. Great sugar life for me, lately. How is everyone?
    I want a new purse for Singapore. What should I get? Last time I brought my Hello Kitty…I felt kitschy…
    I’m a Coach woman. What should get to step it up a bit.?

  53. Anna Molly says:

    Hi all! 🙂

  54. NineNineNine says:

    What do people think about Herman Cain’s allegedly having had an SB for 13 year. Do you think he had the 9-9-9 deal with her? 9 nights, sex 9 times, all for $999?!

  55. Va Gentleman says:

    @ NewYork Girl

    Don’t worry , Men tend to think with their little head where women and sex are involved so I would appeal more to his ego and sexuality when negotiating a deal rather than his business acumen .
    If he likes you he will be putty in your hand . You have everything he needs and wants –don’t ever forget that . He will open his wallet to the extent that he can afford it .

    Do not value yourself by the hour as that is escort mentality and that is not where you want to go (I don’t think ) Look at your arrangement with a pot SB as a relationship , not an
    event . This relationship might entail dinner ,theater ,travel , or just a nice snuggle for an hour or two –or overnight .The Sugar can be a per meeting donation -which works very well for me and some others here , or a monthly amount paid into your bank account or handed to you . I would recommend a minimum monthly donation of $2000 for 2 visits / week which is reasonable . I personally would not commit to a monthly allowance until I get to know the SB ,so it would make sense to suggest a per visit Sugar until you both get comfortable with and care for each other .

    Here’s what you do : 1) Ask Mr Wonderful if he wants to have a regular Sugar Arrangement with you . If he asks what that means then refer him to SD Guru’s Blog; If he says yes 2) ask him what does he have in mind ( look for frequency of visitation and Sugar ideas ) . If he commits to a frequency and Sugar amount then either approve or counter offer . If he doesn’t know how much Sugar is fair then give him your suggestion and what you hope to accomplish with that Sugar (as SD Guru said .) I like to think I am helping improve someone’s life in a significant way -like pay off student loans rather than buy a new pair of Monolo Blaniks–although what you do with your money is your business only . If he is not sure about things ,3) then offer him a per visit option to allow him to fall in lust with you . Then his wallet will fall open and he will make you proud Realize he might just want an hourly girl (escort ) . 4) Be prepared to respectfully refuse his offer and walk away .

  56. Stormcat says:

    BalletGirl ~ Welcome fellow romantic. Romance is not such a plus in sugarland because it usually leads to pain but there are a few of us diehards here anyway. The rest are closet romantics who are defended by keeping their romantic tendencies in check. 🙂
    I assume you’re a dancer!
    Interesting what you said about your first meet! Do you feel that it was the age difference that stifled your connection or the fact that he physically looked like your old Prof?

  57. semi-newbie says:

    @Va gentleman’s question. What do you mean a possibility of a “real relationship”? Do you mean in an alternate world where his not married? No. I think being married makes him who he is. I like him for who he is. I’m not sure if I would like the unmarried version of him. Or would I be a mistress if he asks? No. That’s a lonely endeavor. Or would I ask him to leave his wife? Who do I think I am? He would think I’m turning into a crazy bitch and run for his life.

    @Emotion VS Painful breakups. I still prefer a very passionate process and a painful heartbreaking ending over an enjoyable but not so emotional process and a painless parting. Yes, I am a Masochist.

    @my place OR hotel. I love my bed, my sheets and I hate hotels.

    • SD Guru says:

      I still prefer a very passionate process and a painful heartbreaking ending over an enjoyable but not so emotional process and a painless parting. Yes, I am a Masochist.

      That’s a personal preference and everyone will approach it differently whether they’re a masochist or not. But how many painful heartbreaks does it take for someone to say enough is enough?

      u have to make a woman want it! HELLO! Arent u a smart man? Im sure you didnt run into all that money being duh duh dumb…

      I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that money and wealth do not necessarily make a man smart when it comes to women. Some very successful men could be clueless when it comes to women and thought their money and wealthy will automatically attract them. The successful SD’s are the ones who know how to make a woman want it and use their money and wealth to help the SB’s reach their goals.

      Yes, these men are very good businessmen . And we girls are not.

      That’s why preparation is key and you should always be ready to have a discussion about the arrangement. SD’s are not mind readers so you’ve got to be clear about your expectations. Take what happened as a learning experience and I hope you’ll move on being a little wiser.

  58. BalletGirl says:

    Well, home from my first meeting with a Pot. I swear to GOD he was my Freshman English Professor. ROFL. I about fell over when he walked in. He was really nice, but it was so awkward because the entire time I’m staring at him going…oh my god, oh my god. There was no chemistry what-so-ever and I think he could tell. Ah well, we had a good conversation about British Literature, and decent Italian food. From some of the horror stories, it could have been much worse.

  59. Amber says:

    Ok..So i havent been here for a few days…Sorry… But where I left off is where I’ll start! Ok heres the deal…4 me.. sex on the first date is not out of the question… If I want to “do it” I will.. but money issue aside.. I would never agree to lay with somebody I’ve never even met for a given amount of money! I strongly believe that is divine human right to enjoysex.. the money is just an extra perk.. like here ya go u deserve this because u deserve some nice things in ur life.. But for a SD to expect me to agr ee to arranged sex when we’ve only conversated for 5 minutes is a turn off…When a woman wants tohave sex its a whole lot better for both parties than feeling obligated to have sex (assuming) I am not fixing to have sexual relations for any other reason than: I WANT TO! Thats what all woman want.. In order to get the ride of ur life and plz her.. u have to make a woman want it! HELLO! Arent u a smart man? Im sure you didnt run into all that money being duh duh dumb… How do you not know what a woman wants? SIGH and thats what I would say to the type of men I’v been dealing with if I were ever bold enough to yell at them! I must say i desire a gentleman more than anything in this world! Well except for my college degree…Its not that Im a snotty stuck up little virgin… Heck I probably have a higher sex drive than most men on here.. i just wont settle for anything less than the best when it comes to sex.. or men.. Thats why I’m not on seeking broke a** lames dot com Ok Im gonna read up to speed and probably re post bye for now! 🙂

  60. NewYorkGirl says:

    Thank you Midwest. Yes, these men are very good businessmen . And we girls are not. He owns his business and I am (and my profession) so far away from money discussion. To me it is easier just never answer his e mails than discuss money. I think a smart successful man (in his 50s) understood what he did. I do not know how much for him not to be “strain” (as kindred Spirit wrote), but he wanted to see me 2 times a week before he goes on his trip. If he is strain for money, then he can see me once a week or once in 2 weeks but do not offend me.

    And Midwest , now I remember after he gave me money first time (while he was giving me money) I told him what is it for. (a very good and humanity thing … Just do not want to write here on blog exactly what it is.

    I think he should feel very good helping me.

  61. BalletGirl says:

    Thanks Kindred, nice to meet you all!

    In an attempt to be part of the actual conversation– I have to say that I can see both sides of the coin as for the married/unmarried debate. I have only ever been with single men, and morally (or rather due to the fact that my wholesome, small town, mamma would beat me to death with a five iron if she found out I so much as sneezed in the direction of a married man– guess that guarantees discretion lol!) I have never really leaned towards the married ones. Here’s not to say I would turn one down if a nice, intelligent, charming one looked my way because I’m rather a romantic, but I’d never really even thought about it before stepping into sugar-land.

    I can see the points made by other SB’s about a married man being less likely to stray, where a single man might have a second or third baby on the side. But if I’m only seeing him a few times a week, and he doesn’t demand that I’m exclusive with him, I feel that what I don’t know won’t hurt me.

    By the way, any SB’s in Los Angeles? I’d love to meet up with some of you sometime, you all seem so down to earth and fun.

  62. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    NewYorkGirl – What are you trying to accomplish in the sugar bowl? A large purchase? Paying down debt? A little spending money? Building up savings? Whatever it is…figure out the time frame in which you want to accomplish said goal and figure out what it will take to get you there. When you have the financial conversation, he will feel much better about helping you reach a particular goal…even if it is to treat you for some perks. Example: Pay off cc debt of 10K. If you get $400/wk or visit from a gent, it will take 25 visits if you apply the full amount towards your debt. Do not get drawn into determining if a night is worth x or a few hours is worth y. You’re getting very close to prostitution. Change your mindset and expectations…how men treat you will change as well. Truthfully, I would have a conversation with this man and make sure you are both clear on what happens from this point forward. These men are business men and negotiate difficult deals. Bring you A game and don’t apologize for having standards.

    BalletGirl – Welcome!

  63. KindredSpirit says:

    NewYorkgirl~ well it can vary depending on cost-of-living where you’re at, that kind of thing. For me it isn’t about the price tag like I mentioned before, it’s about the benefits feeling mutual and fulfilling and non-straining for either party. Once you gain some time/experience/reflection only you can know what that means for you…. 🙂

    BalletGirl~ Welcome to SA and the blog! Always nice to see lurkers come out and say “hello”. Glad the blog has been of value and use for you!! 😀

  64. NewYorkGirl says:

    But I did not say nothing, and did not answer his e mail about “next time” coz I even do not know what to write to him. And if I wrote it might sound wrong.
    May be I should talk to him ? Face to face? Or on a phone?
    KindredSpirit…too bad you can not write the ” bottom line amount” . 🙂 would be helpful. May be $400 for 2 hours session would be the bottom line? What about all night stay? $800. ? (and yes, he want to do over night in a future too, lol, do not even think about it).

    Girls, do you ask for money before you go in (hotel/apt)?

    Aga, how nice…. “u r too good to be an arrangement… Be my GF, it is such an honer to be a GF for such prosperous , strong man”. Shame on these kind of guys. Coz they can not be a BF! They have wife, or too busy, they would not go to the movies, parks, meet my GF, relatives, take me to , yes, Tiffany, …. No they would not. For them to be BF means sex for free (and still NSA).

  65. NewYorkGirl says:

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your opinions and advices.
    VA , it was what come to my mind ($100 for a mani/pedi ) , I wanted to say my mani/ pedi is $160.

  66. BalletGirl says:

    Hi y’all. I’ve been stalking this blog (in the non-creepy way 😉 ) for about a week now, and it’s very informative. I’m new to SA and just wanted to pop in to say hello. Most of my questions have been answered by members in previous blogs and I feel pretty well prepared thanks to you guys. I have my first meet with a Pot tonight. <3 Wish me luck.

  67. KindredSpirit says:

    VA Gentleman~ heh, yes that’s me giving the situation the benefit of the doubt, as I tend to behave in most matters…. *chuckling*

    Very well may be a user and just trying to see how low $ he can go! I figure then the choice of what to do should be pretty obvious, but why chastise the man for paying cheaply if he just was oblivious (a few of mine were at first so it’s always possible!).

    So I’d ask and talk first, judge after. If nothing was clear to begin with, no blame should be centered on just one person! That’s simply REaction, not PROaction, me thinks! 🙂

    You SDs are funny, too, though (“next time it’s a girlfriend for Free!”). Gave me a chuckle. Every perspective is welcome and has truth to it!!

  68. Va Gentleman says:

    LOL –I read Kindred Spirit’s post after I sent mine in and hers is so much more reasonable and —well — maybe too reasonable . Perhaps somewhere in the middle is the stance you should take . Maybe he’s confused –maybe he’s a user —who knows ? You will find out and let us all know the outcome . Good luck !

  69. Va Gentleman says:

    New York Girl –you have been had ! He is trying you out to see how cheap you will go . You can’t even get a manicure for $100 in NYC

    If you like him enough to see him again you need to have “the talk” I know it is awkward for you as it is for so many of us but it’s still much better to get the business out of the way so nobody will get their feelings hurt again . Tell him that you feel cheapened after the last time you were together and that if he wants an arrangement you need to determine what is fair for you both . Put the ball in his court to see what he comes up with . Do you know what you want out of an arrangement ? He might ask you back so you need to be ready with a plan.

    What if he does read this ? Good ! He will see how shabbily he treated you and how cheap he looks .

  70. KindredSpirit says:

    Well, here’s the thing Newyorkgirl. The first few times can be hit and miss, especially when financial assistance has not been clearly defined or discussed. Ideally it should NOT be hit and miss AT ALL, but realistically I know a lot of girls are pretty shy about the money part (I was too, in the beginning).

    So you have to check your comfort level and see if that’s enough for your goals along with any other compensation he may provide (gifts, other treats besides money). Yes, ideally you discuss this all before getting intimate/romantic. But it’s not always that cut and dry (especially if the attraction is mutually immediate!). A man can be suuuuuuch a sweetie that bringing up money can worry some that that’s all that an SB thinks about. BUT. The big BUT is the fact that if you met the gent off of SA, he ought to understand that is what this site is about and should not be surprised that this is sugar/help for you. He may be new at it, too, and need more education/insight/guidence from you (or this blog, ha). Grow together in your arrangement. If you like each other, it’s a relationship with perks, like fellow blogger Midwest has said.

    I had a similar experience in the beginning, and felt the arrangement was unbalanced. The idea is that both parties separate feeling satisfied, fulfilled, happy and eager to meet again. It isn’t about a price tag, it’s about an agreement between you and the gent. Sweet, flirty yet clear communication.

    How did I resolve the feeling of unbalance? I talked to him, kindly (and not while in bed). There’s a comfort level for the SD, too, and asking what he thinks his disposable arrangement budget typically helps to find definition. Some SDs are a bit strapped themselves, depending what other life matters they are financially handling. It may increase or decrease with time, the economy, life changes, etc. The point is to keep communicating when these pressing changes happen. For me it meant I saw this particular gent less, but when I did it felt more balanced when we parted. Don’t ask me for a bottomline amount to ask for because I can’t give that…simply because it depends on the special, individual arrangement that it is between you and your man. 🙂

    The best meter? Listening to your gut and comfort level, which goes for SDs as well as SBs (a genuine SD would know he shouldn’t promise the world if he really can’t deliver. In my case, I can’t promise constant sex because I physically and emotionally cannot give it. So we figure a happy medium).

    I hope my advice helps, the main theme being…talk to him honestly! Worst that could happen is the arrangement won’t work so you two can part amicably to find someone who does work for each of you. Sounds like a win-win situation to me, as it always should be! 😉

    • SD Guru says:


      And by the 3rd meeting he’d ask you to be his girlfriend so he can get the sex for free, and he’s probably bragging to his friends about what happened…

      Ok, I was just kidding, but I guess you didn’t ask him those simple questions every SB should ask? In sugar, as in life, you don’t get what you deserve or hope for, you get what you negotiate. Since you had sex with him during the first date and apparently $400 was acceptable, he probably thought he overpaid? 😀 Anyway, since there was no clear discussion about the arrangement that’s why you’re where you are. And both sides should share responsibility for that. Oh, and what Kindred said. I hope you’ll be better prepared and have better luck next time!

  71. KindredSpirit says:

    I just love this blog so much! Since virtually no one IRL knows about my being on this site (except of the fact that friends and family observe my dating range is from my own age to 25 years my senior), I have no one else besides you fellow bloggers to relate to! So I never feel alone, period. 😀

    With the variety of sugar experiences in the nearly full year I’ve been on SA, each has been Enriching, pleasantly Eye-opening and Endearing (ha, the three E’s?). I’ve learned what I like and don’t like from the growing adventures and relentless screenings. Thinking back, I can’t believe a few of the things I’ve done that I wouldn’t do now, but I chalk it up to the first few months of learning.

    That said, from the very beginning I found my favorite arrangements to be those that involved a little travel and the visits infrequent but for a few days at a time. It allowed me to build energy and anticipation for our meetups or day trips or overnighters or long weekend trips, what have you…thus keeping the sugar thrill alive and catching. I am in the same spirit/preference as Midwest in these type of arrangements, I believe. 🙂

    My life is too crazy-busy else-wise, and so I don’t have the time, interest or energy to have an SD to be with several times a week. Nor do I have the sex drive for constant sex and it then also feels like a girlfriend/boyfriend engagement, which I definitely don’t want. Reading about how much sex some of you lovely people get sounds exciting in theory and if both people have the matching drive, then all to you! Heh, but I’d burn out in no time, and it overwhelms me to think of that much sex…. Nothing wrong with it (to each their own, as always), just that other life experiences give me bigger and more fulfilling orgasms. 🙂

    Anyway, the fact that when I do meet up with a gent for a fun weekend the sex is certainly anticipated favorably and it then always feels very special for both of us.

    Like SDGuru, I’m happily impressed with the longevity of your current arrangement, VA Gentleman! Small percentages can find something as mutually Intense and Long-lasting in the sugar-world as you have (and Stormcat, I think you had one for at least a year like that, too?).

    The one part of arrangements that I’m on the full opposite spectrum from some other bloggers is that I really don’t mind the “pay-as-we-meet” approach. To me there’s less stress in that thinking, and as a blogger here said very wisely on a previous post, so neither party feels like a john or an escort, “It’s sex for sex, and pay for NSA.” LOVE that philosophy.

    Then again, perhaps I just haven’t found the right gent that a monthly allowance-type arrangement would work for both of us (I’ve been offered one before but turned it down due to other factors that wouldn’t work well). If it happens someday, cool! If not, paying as we meet never has bothered me at all. I’m gracious for nearly any amount a man may wish to give me for financial assistance, because every bit helps. If it’s an ongoing arrangement, there’s an amount that is pleasantly agreed upon so really there aren’t disappointments.

    And certainly, I have heard about many horror stories, and know how lucky I am to have had nearly all positive experiences. Part of it, though, is through a high dose of prevention (screening and clarity in communication). 😉

    Happy Monday to all!!!!

  72. Va Gentleman says:

    My SB is highly organized and offered right up front to make the arrangements , so we just budgeted our trysts that way . It is nice that I don’t have a paper trail to worry about and she always gets to the location first anyway so she can get settled .

    We are lucky to live within 2 hours of each other , so we each travel about an hour to see each other ,and aren’t near either of our home bases. She had concerns when she lived closer to her home that someone would see her out with a guy her father’s age . And I had my own concerns as well. It’s funny how I don’t think twice about the age gap anymore when we are out but I’m sure random observers do . Lucky me !

  73. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    VA Gentleman – I hope I’m understanding this correctly…she has an allowance and you include $400 per (??) for a room so she can put it in her name and protect your privacy? Or do you actually deduct the costs of having a hotel from the agreed upon allowance? I’ve always had expenses (hotel, travel, etc) covered in addition to my allowance…never out of my allowance. It was a part of the entire experience. To each his own, but I’m wondering why a gentleman would ask a lady to cover the hotel?

    I have hosted once a comfort level was established, but it was rarely necessary. I was usually the one getting on the plane to Vegas, FL, NYC etc so my mind was never on those pesky distractions. I can say it was genuinely appreciated to go off somewhere and put the world behind me for a few days. I’m sure he noticed the difference as well. 🙂

  74. Va Gentleman says:

    RE: New York Girl $400 /month in our case . She covers the hotel out of the allowance I give her .

  75. NewYorkGirl says:

    VA Gent. You wrote increase her money up to 400/month, ( did you mean 400 a session) . Sorry to ask.

  76. Va Gentleman says:

    Mistress/Girlfriend vs SB ?

    Excellent question to ponder. In an ideal world I would line up the former for a rousing affair and save the SB for a NSA arrangement. However prospecting for a GF as a married man is not easy since you are working in your home environment and unless you get “lucky” it’s not easy to do . A SB arrangement seems to be easier to find since it is a dollar and “sense” deal . What can’t be factored in is emotional attatchment whether you want it or not . If you aren’t emotionally involved with your lover then you have not met “the one” .

    Hosting :
    Money Issues :
    A SD has a set budget for his Sugar activities, and room and board is included with his SB’s allowance(and travel,gifts,nights out ) . If his SB hosts some(or all) of the visits then there is more available for her to keep. My baby has a set Sugar which covers her sugar and the hotel so if she had her own place she would increase her allowance $400/month . Cheapness is a potential issue and there are many SDs/Johns who are looking for a cheap roll in the hay. You just have to screen them out to get to the true SD. In fact ,if a SB said that she had her own hotel room that we could meet in on the first date I would suspect that she was an escort.
    Trust issues:
    Inviting a SD into your home takes a great deal of trust in him and your relationship. Obviously this would not likely happen until the arrangement has been going for a while .

    Privacy : As said above ,some SBs might want to keep their home life separate from sugar dating and will never consider inviting SD home .

    Fantasy : Getting away from it all is always special and staying at home might not be a special enough treat for some .

    Keeping it sweet: The special and exceptional can become the mundane when it’s an everyday thing . So true ! That is what is so great about Sugar dating –it’s not every day so it continues to be a joy . Thanks for the reality check !

  77. NewYorkGirl says:


    I read this girl profile. In reality This is the exactly the girl with who a nice, kind and generous guy would be. I have a few friends exactly like her. They are doing very well. 5 million house in Santa Monica, 4 times married, another one 1 mil town house in Irvine, OC never been married. And if a guy says or thinks something “wrong” bed room door closed till Chanel, Jimmy Choo bad shows up and the early morning at the door.
    Girls are very successful coz this is the type a guy would fall for (unconsciously of course). This is what nice guys do, they fall for bitches.

    Most of the times (of course ) guys would not understand or admit that, on ly may be on 675 session with their psychoanalytic .


    “breakfast at Tiffany” thing.

  78. Stormcat says:

    Thanks Midwest ~ You posted in the interum and I didn’t refresh before posting. Wow you mean it’s a real person just having fun! Joke’s on me! lol

  79. Stormcat says:

    NewYorkGirl ~ Didn’t intend to be making a comment about height and I apologize. I didn’t realize that my comment would be read in that way. The profile SD Guru posted is obviously a fake profile that is actually portraying everything one wouldn’t want in a SB and the only thing that seemed unimportant there was her height. So my comment was actually a backward attempt at sarcasm. Sorry to be so clumsy.

  80. NewYorkGirl says:

    To KindredSpirit. To invite a guy I have to clean apt for 4 hours to make it perfect . Still I would see piles of paperwork, think I should change my sofa…. His apt probably perfect I would think, may be buy new pot flower, new table cloth…..
    And during his visit I am not just a sex toy, but a host… I would think should I serve tea (buy what he wants with tea) or may be wine…. And wash sheets do laundry afterword ….. R u kidding me … For a guy I am doing for the first time and there is a possibility I will never see him again? Of course if he is my SD and friend, we been together a few months, I can trust him, he invested (sorry) in me a lot… I would be happy to host, and cook for him, and do laundry. :))

    I am sure I would be able to get big sexual pleasure with SD while observing all the stuff in my room I see everyday. Not too sexy for me. Just my opinion, everyone is different of course. In reality I feel like a guy abusing me and my kindness asking to come to my place and not a hotel (or saving his money), by brining more stress and house work to my life.

  81. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    NewYorkGirl – If you click the profile that Guru posted, you would see Stormcat was just being silly. Lost in translation. I assure you he was not discriminating her height.

    She’s quite the funny girl! I’m sure most men didn’t even read the profile and contacted her based on her pics!

  82. NewYorkGirl says:

    To Stormcat. People would not discriminate base on religion, skin color, back ground, nationality , education….. But would discriminate base on HIGHT. May be one even could not be hired or be a big boss if he/ she only 5.3. Company would nor believe the short person smart, assertive, powerful enough to be right for a position.
    Sorry, Stormcat but did you sleep with this SB ? Is there a difference how tall she is when u r laying down in bed? Or… U need her to look hot when u r entering some events? Would not it be narrow-minded not to feel comfortable if other people would think she does not have long legs…. But all the rest qualities she has u admire.
    Marilyn Monroe was 5.3 , no? Eva Longoria 5.3. Or around this numbers… I do not want to check right now in wiki.

  83. Stormcat says:

    Good morning ~ well I’m not toasting discomfort this morning . . . Woke up to no heat in the house. But with fire in the stove and a mug full of hot coffee, I’m comfortable again for now!

    Kindred ~ I’m rather partial to my goblet being filled with a nice Cote de Rhone or since you brought Pacific NW wines, Walla Walla Vintners offers a Cab Franc That I really enjoyed last winter when I was there.

  84. Stormcat says:

    SD Guru ~ I don’t know if she is the perfect SB . . . She seems OK . . . But she’s only 5’3″!

  85. KindredSpirit says:

    NewYorkGirl~ Heh, yes I understand your question about why men want to have you host them at your place. I see both sides to it, but not sure the man does. If it’s local an SD would certainly get tired always meeting up at a hotel. It can depend on the frequency of things and what your agreed arrangement is like/about. If he’s single I’d then prefer to meet at his place for a while first or a nice “getaway” B&B. The idea is to be creative.

    However, hosting at my place…is something that I easily gather would be ideal for discretion and comfort for the SD (especially a married one), but sometimes I don’t think the idea occurs to them that part of the sugar I look for is to get away from my own home, messes, pets, etc. Don’t want to feel like I am inviting a “boyfriend” home, and to be around my house clutter. Even if it’s cleaned up (“organized clutter”, if you will), it’s still not an ~escape~ for me, which for me is part of the deal. 🙂 Wish I did live in a more spacious place like the men I have dated off of SA do, but that isn’t my reality right now (working on it, though).

    **My home is my sanctuary when I am alone, but a hindrance and a stress for me when a man is to come over.** Sorry if that doesn’t make much sense. Maybe it’s a girl thing. I think it’s more about me seeing my stuff everywhere and being reminded of things to do, deadlines for other matters, work coming up, realities I’d rather escape when with my SD…. And no matter how crazy I am about a man it can be hard to feel like it’s an escape when in my own place, sorry but it just is! 🙂

    Don’t get me wrong~ I’d be fine hosting time to time, but it wouldn’t be for a while in the beginning and overall for my own happiness in the arrangement it would ultimately be pretty infrequent.

    *Shrug* Which is a big reason I like dating outside of my town/city, so we can meet up at our own little getaway somewhere, or when he visits he enjoys springing for a hotel anyway! 😀

    Stormcat~ My goblet would contain either an Italian Moscato or a Bridgeview Blue Moon Oregon Riesling (my two favorites that get me veeeery happy and horny in very little time, hehe! #^_^#

    • SD Guru says:

      Surely this must be the ideal UK SB every SD dreams about who can bring him overwhelming ecstasy, no? :mrgreen:

      Click here to read ideal SB’s profile

      But then the boundaries are blurred and some people here are quite uncomfortable with blurred boundaries. My toast: Here’s to discomfort!

      Actually it’s not about being uncomfortable with blurred boundaries. It’s about being aware of the possible consequences. I bet you weren’t thinking about toasting to discomfort when you were on one of those emotional roller coaster rides in the past! 😛

      @Va Gent
      We are going on a year together and I am just fascinated to see where our relationship goes

      Congratulations on two fronts, first, that your sugar relationship has lasted a year. You’re already doing better than most in the sugar world where arrangements usually last only a few months. Second, perhaps even more amazing, is that you’re still smitten with her after a year and appear to have avoided drama in your relationship. As I’ve said before, I hope you’ll enjoy it for what it is and you’ll be able to handle it emotionally when it ends.

      How many would entertain a “real relationship ” with your current SD/SB if you could?

      That’s a great question! Since I focus more on NSA without emotional attachment in my sugar relationships, I tend to have SB’s who I would not have considered a real relationship with so that I won’t go down that slippery slope. But there are certainly a speical few that I would have considered if I wasn’t a married family man.

      @Midwest SB
      When emotions get carried away, things get messy…drama gets involved….and inevitably people get hurt… If you try to capture it….make it real…you’ll destroy what you once treasured. Keep it sweet!

      Right on, couldn’t have said it better myself!

  86. Stormcat says:

    “Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch, . . .
    for papa make him a scholar, for mama make him rich and a king, for me, well, I wouldn’t holler if he were as handsome as anything . . .”

    For decades now, I’ve tried to analyze the essence of attraction, and the only thing that I have been able to conclude consistently is that we are attracted to those individuals who possess what we admire and want for ourselves. The poor are attracted to rich, the homely are attracted to beauty, the clumsy to grace, etc. There is no problem except that possession of something that others are attracted to evokes a defense response and causes the individual to reject the person who is attracted to them. It is really all very artificial, leads to a lot of misunderstanding and self doubt.

    My conclusion? I have none! I still haven’t figured it out!

  87. NewYorkGirl says:

    To Amber. Amber there are nice guys SDs here (surprisedly to me):)
    I got many inappropriate replies (I listed a few before here). What also was strange 4 guys (supposedly rich SDs) asked me to host the first time we would meet. This ” host ” part make me really upset and confused about guys… If you are rich you post high income…. Why it is a problem to get a hotel? Theoretically speaking (there are even some hotels which do not need Id , and take cash). Plus I do not know his address or last name, why would he come to my place? And basically learned everything about me (would see the books I read, the soap I use….).

    I do not get it b u t guys do ask me to host (in e mails or via phone) and if I write I will not host at least for the first a few times….. They lose the interest (without ever meeting me personal ).
    I do understand they are not real SDs , they r looking for someone cheaper than a prostitute ….

    I know Amber… It could be frustrating, there r a lot of strange people.

  88. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Found the post…..

    Love –
    There is the love of the chase – getting all flustered about the new beauty who thinks you walk on water, but once you get past week 2 or 3, reality sets in and it’s off to love the next chase. Personally, I find this to be destructive to all parties involved.

    There is falling in love with love. The hopelessly romantic idea that this person could be the one you’ve been wanting to fall in love with your entire life. The romantic notion that someday you will meet your prince charming and all will be right with the world. I blame the poets and movie directors, but will still read, hope and enjoy with a glass of wine.

    There is the love that is staring you in the face and you never see it. He/She may not be attractive enough, smart enough, drive the right car, etc., so you never consider them. Worse yet, you try to consider them and it doesn’t work. Hopefully, you will still be able to enhance each other’s life.

    Love out of default…arranged marraiges, marraiges for financial or political gain, marraiges where a single mom is doing what she can to keep a roof over her head. Over time, these couples either fall deeply in love or achieve desired results and move on. It’s more like a business arrangement where both parties know the other’s motives. Is this like SA?

    The love I believe to be real and true takes work on both parts. It’s not always cupid’s arrow, but some couples get lucky. It’s comfortable and uncomfortable, easy and hard, messy and wonderful, but it is always there…”reliable” is a word I heard earlier. It’s the stories of forgiveness, tolerance, understanding, endurance and ultimately success that your parents and grandparents share. Listen and learn.

  89. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Wow….am I the only one who tends to keep sugar in it’s own little world? Am I the only one that realizes that sugar is it’s own little fantasy and has dangerous consequences in the real world? This goes for both sexes. When emotions get carried away, things get messy…drama gets involved….and inevitably people get hurt. IMHO, taking sugar and trying to make it into something real defeats the purpose of sugar. If you want strings, why not have a mistress or a girlfriend? Would you risk your marriage, your family, your assets for the hope that sugar becomes real? It may work for the .01% but we all know that’s the exception. I want to believe in happily ever after, but I am not convinced the sugar bowl is the place.

    Now….Go for the hopelessly romantic feelings…get carried away in the lust….long for one another while the longing exists, live out your fantasies!!! Then protect them with all your passion. Treasure them like no other memory. Keep them in your secret box for your and your partner to savor on occasion. Why ruin the fantasy? A long time ago I posted about love. Here, I see it as “falling in love with love”…the idea that you could have something that incredible. If you keep it a fantasy…a desire…a fuel for your passions, you’ll never regret it. If you try to capture it….make it real…you’ll destroy what you once treasured. Keep it sweet!

  90. Va Gentleman says:

    semi-newbie : it is refreshing that you are so happy with your SD in spite of knowing the end is in sight when he moves west . He is a lucky man to have you in his life . Who knows ? Maybe he won’t be able to part with you and you will continue on together

    I love my SB with all my heart and can’t wait to see where we go together .
    Stormcat ,you are right on –50 dancing virgins would not turn my head with her in my life and our relationship is exactly what I was hoping to find .

    Amber : Thank you . You have taught me to be more patient in getting to know a pot SB before expecting a sexual relationship . Even though It worked beautifully for my SB and me to make love on our 1st date , I understand that many
    SBs want to get to know the pot SD before making that commitment . At the same time I don’t think it is fair to expect sugar from a pot Daddy other than a nice date getting to know each other . Then , if you both hit it off and want to go further the deal gets done re: sugar and relationship expectations .

    A question for the Board : How many would entertain a “real relationship ” with your current SD/SB if you could ?

  91. Stormcat says:

    Kindred Spirit~ here here!
    I’m glad that you understood! I was afraid that I had suddenly gone over the top touchy feely and was about to ask the blog gods to delete that last post. What I was responding to was the feeling that I got from Asian SB’s and Amber’s prior posts. I think that too many times people forget that they’re interacting with other people and just start treating everything in a sterile disconnected feeling-less way. I believe arrangements are really successful when the participants lose that isolation and really connect. But then the boundaries are blurred and some people here are quite uncomfortable with blurred boundaries.
    My toast: Here’s to discomfort!
    btw What are we drinking?

  92. KindredSpirit says:

    Overwhelming ecstasy…ah yes quite the adrenaline high! The enjoyable present feeling of undeniable attraction~ Lust ~that no other can match during the time you are with them. Indeed, a beautiful joy to behold for as long as the arrangement lasts. Once such a magical wonder is found, may the relationship last in the most favorable light possible for as long as possible. Huzzah to sugar-dating!! *Clinks goblets* 🙂

  93. Stormcat says:

    You see there is the person that you meet and you think she is perfect. But every time you have thought that in the past that person shits on you. So you get defended, take the safer course, and you find someone who you think is fine. Someone who tries hard to make the relationship work and you think that that is what you are destined to have.
    But eventually you meet someone and you can’t deny your attraction and you can’t deny your love and you know she is perfect but you are afraid that she will be like all the others who you thought were perfect. Then suddenly you discover that she knows that you love her and that she loves you. On this discovery you are not happy, not full of joy, what you feel is overwhelming ecstasy.
    I believe all SDs are hoping for this.

  94. Amber says:

    Nope dont think I can with this ‘smart’ phone! ka plooyey! It’ll b OK..

  95. Amber says:

    Ok.. Here tis! I am open to constructive critism.. I am not easily offended.. I ask 4 brutal honesty! Have at it!!

  96. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Amber – If you want to put your profile URL in where it says website on the comments area, we can look at your profile and offer some tips. I will say that there’s a balance between being flirty and attracting the wrong guys, but we can help you add some helpful filters.

    AsianSB – 🙂 Thanks sweets!

  97. Amber says:

    Well when I decided to look for a SD SB arrangement … it wasn’t ever really based on just the money..Yeah.. it’d be great.. it helps lessen the burden of bills/tuition.. but I need so much more! I’m looking for somebody who treats me well when we r are behind closed doors… somebody who’s company I enjoy! Someone I look forward to seeing.
    . I NEVER want it to be like daaang its time to give up the booty so I can finally relax at the spa…! I want to enjoy everything about a man.. and I want him to enjoy everything about me.. I need him to be think… she’s great! She deserves something nice and it gratifies me to do something nice for her… but right now I’m feeling like I signed up for prostitution.. Does the charming SD I dream about exist? I. Sick of clinginess and men who stand on nothing telling me I got beautiful full lips and telling me what I should do with them!I know this isn’t the place to vent.. I’m sorry guys.. Im just not lose patience with how some guys think they can treat women… and don’t understand y I seem to draw all sleezballs to me! My father and step dad were both gentlemen and I never would’ve. guessed when I got out on my own that there would be no gentlemen in my world! Ugh! K I feel better.. sorry. 😉 @ cougar… u have the mentality to hit big at the casino! U ha e to come down this way when Nelly’s in the house! Hewould definately drop a line or two bout ur game mindset!!! ALL IN!

  98. AsianSB says:

    And I say All In! God, I absolutely love your mind Cougarlicious!!! Like how you think..

  99. AsianSB says:

    We posted all at the same time! xx Oh Amber, I’d assume there are a majority of “sds’ here that have the wrong impression of us or they are simply here for a fast and easy way to exploit the younger/clean ladies here.. since things are negotiable, they can get a date with a cute young girl which they can never get.

    I feel the site and term sugar daddy dating is portrayed to most, such that we have to trust the SDs here are capable of spending. I presume there could be a high number of under qualified men who might have just developed an alpha complex and treat us as such – when we agree to meet. Also, they must have gotten randy from looking through the girls profile and handpicked a few for good measure! Grr.. God knows.. we have really got to be cautious. I really pray that no girls will fall victim to scams and such requests for the sake of urgency. I’m glad you’re safe, Amber. =) Hugs.. xxxx

  100. Amber says:

    @ cougar thanx but the men replying to my profile are all the same.. I think I gave the wrong impression when I made it! ;( I guess I assumed wealthy men automatically knew how to be gentlemen..? @Asia.. handshake! Nice 2 meet u! Handing buckeye tray of goodies for all! 😉 LOL I like buckeyes but divinity and homade soft mints r my favs!

  101. AsianSB says:

    Stormcat, I was gonna say the same, I killed the room. ;x And thanks for reading.. I started writing to avail myself to other SBs in the hopes of making some SB buddies then I found this blog.

    You guys have been very informative and real! Non-judgmental and I feel so at home, it gets lonely, this lifestyle isn’t something you can reveal to your mates about.

    You may just surprise yourself, the extent you can take to satisfy a part of you. It’s totally true Dorkyguy!.. but us human slip up at times, less likely to stray isn’t quite good enough. ;p Smile.. So good to hear from a men’s slash SD perspective. SDs could totally help to write a post on what us SBs or “wives-to-be” can improve on! Perhaps title it “Ultimate SB Perfection Manual”!!

    Hi Amber, you ain’t referring to me eh. lol. *reaches out for handshake and for some bullseyes too* xx

  102. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Morning sugars!

    Amber – He’s not an SD…it’s not you. Welcome

    Why am I craving chocolate and PB???

    AsianSB – Cash and youth may be king, but experience and lifetime beauty are queen. Put them together and you have a royal flush!

  103. Amber says:

    Buckeyes** LOL. Stupid phone! Well I was contacted by my first possible sugar daddy.. no go.. he was married but that’s not what bothered me! He made me feel uncomfortable bc he straight up said he expected sex the day I met him… Ihave been really lonely.. but even so I don’t like that kind of pressure… I couldn’t help but think I was headed for a bad situation and when I told him he just brushed me off like I’m sure u will enjoy my company and I will compensate very well for ur time… even so I didn’t like it.. I’m wondering if I’m cut from sb cloth?? I’m ready for my personal British invasion! I want to sip warm tea and smile and enjoy the moment with no pressures! Just like the romance novels I read! LOL! Maybe reading those books are mind-warping my mind like porn does a mans! At this point I’m relunctant of the idea of a married sugar daddy… unless he’s just absolutely a big softy sweetheart!

  104. Amber says:

    OMG.. I read the blog and. Wonder what the hey I got myself into! KRAYZINESS!!! but in a super cool way! @Anna Molly… I make the best bullseyes ever..I have lots of recipes to vary them just a lil..my family gets mad if I get lazy and don’t make them for Christmas!

  105. Anna Molly says:

    Good mornin’! 🙂

    DorkyGuy ~ That’s too funny! 😀

  106. Lewis English SB says:

    I think a trans-atlantic Sugar relationship would be difficult but it could work out and be quite fun, I personally love americans.. Especially the accents and the general laid back approach, and from what i hear americans like english accents so who knows?

  107. DorkyGuy says:

    @Stormcat: “U + IQ=169” 😛

    @AsianSB: You have a bit of an advantage. As a SB, you probably know more about the needs of a man than most wives do. Many wives are so focused on their own happiness, or the faults of their man, that they have never considered that their man has emotional needs at all, or that he is someone worthy of their respect or admiration. I can’t speak for all wives, but I can tell you for many, if he voices his needs, she would be offended or just not care. “What do you mean you don’t feel loved or appreciated?” If you take what you learn as an SB and apply it to your marriage, your man will (in my opinion) be less likely to stray.

    @StormCat and Anna Molly: good lord guys, get a kitchen!

  108. Stormcat says:

    AsianSB ~ omg I think we’ve killed the blog! No one has posted for nearly 2 days now. Hey I took a look at your web site and I liked reading it!

  109. AsianSB says:

    Seriously, youth and cash is king for women. So us girls gotta start saving up. lol. It’s scary to think that in the future you’ll have a wandering husband. My ideal man would be smart and successful. And so I think I’d have a high chance of falling into a vicious cycle! Unless I still look banging at age 40 and be as sweet to him like an SB would……..

  110. Stormcat says:

    semi-newbie, Va gent ~ There are rare instances when I meet a woman and she is so attractive to me that 50 naked sex-starved nymphs with supermodel looks could be circling and I wouldn’t even notice. (Well actually I haven’t ever been in that situation) Anyway, no matter what seems to be the most appropriate path . . . In reality we already know the answer. We already know who we want to be with.

  111. Stormcat says:

    I just read this profile on another site that says ” I am good at math, My favorate equation is U+I=69. So I wrote her . . . “What if you add more variables?”

    She hasn’t responded yet!

  112. semi-newbie says:

    @ Va Gentlemen–Is there any Freudian reason behind your being with a SB? I thought you were just being a man.

    Er…. Love, I’m not sure. Affection, indeed. Sometimes when my SD put up his non-judging face and let me do whatever stupid thing I want to do. I will be thinking: damn, if only my father were like him, I would still have had a chance to be a happy person. I do think my SD loves his wife dearly, sensing mostly from his tone. Although I don’t understand how someone could feel affectionate toward another person when he loves someone already, I think that’s possible for some, especially for men. You guys are such mysterious creatures. A dispassionate SD/SB arrangement just sounds so boring to me, and I think my SD is fabulous at managing his emotions.

  113. Va Gentleman says:

    Semi- Newbie — I guess I opened up a can of worms when I brought Freud into it lol. This blog isn’t long enough to evaluate my need to be here and my love affair with a girl many decades my junior . Whatever the reason for me I never want to be treated for it since I am having such a great time .

    I’m happy for you that you have found love and affection for the moment and hope that it continues for a long time . You said that your SD loves his wife dearly ,which I can’t wrap my head around,because he wouldn’t be a SD if he did imho . I am speaking from my mindset obviously . In some capacity I love and respect many things about my wife and don’t want to hurt her ,but dearly would not be a word I’d use . I think most of us who are not happy in our relationships fear making the honorable move -to end it before moving on -because of financial impact of divorce, effects on children of that marriage, societal criticism ,etc. In short we think we can have our cake and eat it too . The emotional involvement does make it more difficult to stay home ,where a dispassionate SD/SB arrangement keeps things manageable.

  114. Anna Molly says:

    Buckeyes are peanut butter candies that have been dipped in chocolate. They taste a lot like a peanut butter cup, but better IMO. 🙂

    They’re very sweet so you can’t eat too many of them at once. 😀

  115. Stormcat says:

    AM ~ Hey Gorgeous! What are buckeyes? I hope that’s not something like blackeyed peas over hot dogs! lol No really, is it a filled pastry of sorts?

  116. Anna Molly says:

    Sounds delish!! I cooked a ham with cranberry glaze, chess pie, pecan pie and buckeyes. 🙂

  117. Stormcat says:

    Happy Thanksgiving!
    I spent the day with a local family. I made cranberry fluff, mixed fruit salad, and pear and brie pie. They had never seen the likes of it. Several people there didn’t even know what brie was! I was a little worried that they thought I was showing off and trying to make them feel inferior. But no one seemed to be anything less than friendly and welcoming. The day was pleasant and after a few glasses of homemade blueberry wine nothing mattered. They even gave me a bottle to share with someone special! Well I already have someone in mind!

  118. Anna Molly says:

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! I hope all of you have a great weekend! 🙂

  119. AsianSB says:

    Hi Midwest, hi all and happy thanksgiving! Smiles, StormCat, you’re hilarious! lolololove!xx so @NewYorkGirl @VaGentleman I think for first impressions, we should look at all the details written on the site. Ones thought process of simply filling up a few options(that are available) like Net worth to the profile description. We can make a few assumptions about the type of person he is. For example, in my opinion, if his net worth is set high and look unrealistic according to his age, he is not reliable. I suppose if we’re dating by volume, we can then easily overlook a few of these things..

    In addition, most of us are superficial by nature.. I presume most SBs here do look at net worth for comparison and for confidence. So a constructive view and just to be sure you get quality response.. fellow SDs should make up for a lack of income with a really good profile description etc… Not that it’s needed..SDs have no lack of supply..only will there perfect demand…?

  120. Kindred Spirit says:

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!! Just finished creating my “crabby deviled eggs” and am going for a walk around the lake (temp is around 65 degrees, how lovely!). Then off to dinner with friends!

    Stormcat (“Might I say that you seem to harbor a bit of Tortuous Bohemian Romance yourself.”) Heh, indeed, indeed! The nice difference is that with the NSA aspect and arrangement-type relationships, my own giving nature does not feel taken for granted…which means the world! I can finally be my own giving self and feel ok about being the natural people-pleaser that I am in the SA lifestyle without eventually burning out…because the right guy reciprocates or initiates his own giving-nature and appreciates it all along with me! Since we don’t know how long the relationship will last, it means all the more to live in the moment while together….

    On a similar note, if anyone is familiar with “The Five Love Languages”, my top two are gifts and words of affirmation. Conservative, modern society seems to correlate “gifts” with shallowness and greediness, but that’s very untrue the way the book and I see it. They are simply ~Visual~ signs of affection…and indeed how special it can feel sharing an experience or gift with another person!! By the way, the creative, thoughtful ~presentation~ of a gift can be just as if not more appreciated than the gift itself…which makes it all the more meaningful and fun.

    Anyway, guess my point is how being a romantic people-pleaser feels more rewarded in this type of dating style…which is another reason I feel so at home here! 😀

    Take care fellow bloggers! If Brandon is reading, Happy Thanksgiving to you too, and know that I am very, very thankful for your book, website and blog!! Looking forward to checking out your latest book (…um, yes, I read a ton. Paper-style preferably 😉 ).

  121. Semi-newbie says:

    @Culture Daddy Thanks. That’s very sweet of you to say that.

    @Va Gentleman I think my SD and I are both quite clear about we have absolutely no future together. I just graduated college and expect to find a real job soon. I don’t think we can meet regularly if I get a real job. Moreover, he’s relocating to the West Coast next year as soon as his project in hand finishes. So the feeling that our days are numbered is always there and I’m just trying my best to live the moment.
    Thanks for the words of encouragement! I do think he cares for me, but I’m not an objective assessor as to the extent.
    Are we really allowed to play “blame the parents for all my problems” card:) I guess I don’t really have much faith in marriage, but I think it’s the best institute for bringing up a child and I plan to enter it someday. I guess the biggest lesson I learnt from my parents’ marriage is what qualities you should avoid in a potential partner. Since we are going all Freudian on my relationship, I would say that my father being emotional unavailable to me may be the cause of my being very attracted to older men.

    Happy Turkey day to all!

  122. CultureDaddy says:

    Semi-newbie – you sound absolutely lovely! I do not believe your 2 out of 10 for a moment. You would be a pleasure to have as an SB.

  123. Va Gentleman says:

    semi newbie — you sound like a great SB ! It’s nice to hear you wearing your heart on your sleeve, I feel the same way about my Baby . Emotional attatchment is necessary to fulfil my needs , but it does make it harder to cope with the uncertainty of your future together .

    I think you underestimate your “value ” to your SD. A “2” is a pretty low valuation on a 10 scale . Besides , as you said , there are different things that partners provide each other . Perhaps you are a 12 in the sexual/emotional realm for him where his wife is a 2 .

    I wonder if your parent’s poor marriage has impacted your choice to be in a relationship that is not likely to last , therefore protecting you from being truly hurt in a committed relationship.

  124. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Happy Thanksgiving sugars!

    Operta – I guess a “friends with benefits AND perks” type of relationship. I have remained friends with my former SDs and hope I always will be. One was sweet when I got laid off and gave me a professional resume’ service and help with a business idea even though he is engaged to someone else. He’s just a sweet man who wants to help. I never asked for help. There’s only one I’m not really friends with, but it seems like there was a misunderstanding between us….oh well. He’s a little nervous, so what looks like one thing to me, looks like something completely different to him. Always be clear and concise when communicating. All said, it can go either way after the fact.

  125. Operta says:

    Midwest SB-Interesting thoughts in your last post. Do you view these relationships like a really good friendship (with benefits)? Do you maintain the friendships after the sugar ends?

    As as the Diamond, it’s interesting. I’m a private person when it comes to personal matter such as financial information and even sharing who I am right away. These are waters I’m still trying to manage. Any way to handle such matters while remaining authentic and a respectable SD?

  126. Semi-newbie says:

    I re-read my posts. So sorry for the typos. Now I’m going to have a blog reputation of someone who cannot write. I’m going to drown my humiliation in shopping, shopping, and shopping!

  127. Semi-newbie says:

    4. trust. I once came across a quote on adultery that I cannot remember exactly. It’s something like ” adultery has nothing to do with sex but how little you care for each other”. I don’t cheat and I try very hard not to lie, but I do understand people who do. I’m not married but I know how hard marriages can be growing up watching my parents unhappily married forever. Call me a cynic, but the notion of one person’s needs being completely satisfied by another person has always eluded me. I’m not only talking about sex, love and affection, but the need to share common interest, friendship, mentorship, advice, motherly love, fatherly love, fun, intellectual challenges, achievement… You name it. Most of the needs can be satisfied in a socially acceptable way by multiple people. For example, you can have a buddy that is fun, one is witty, one is smart, one is sporty, and one is loving to satisfy your multiple needs. Some needs are deemed by the society as ought to be satisfied by only one person– the wife/husband, i.e. romantic affection, sex, certain emotional support, financial responsibilities. The wife/husband who can satisfy all the partner-ly needs is of course the soul mate everyone of us dream to meet one day but I doubt many do. Those who don’t have all their needs meet may chose to be non-constructive and bitter about what’s lacking in their marriage, like my parents do; or work constructively to solve the problems and be content even if not all problems get resolved, like those happily married do; or try to solve the problems and look somewhere else for what’s missing for the problems that don’t get resolved, like my SD. My SD loves his kids and will give up the world for them, and he loves his wife too. We don’t really talk about his family, but my feeling is that on a scale of 0 to 10, 0 being completely non-caring. He cares for me at a 2, his kids a 11, and his wife a 9. Yes, he’s cheating, but I don’t think that makes him a non trustworthy person, just someone who’s unwilling to settle. For the record, I will be type II and settle for the glass half-full once I do get married, because I am a romantic.
    Going back to my point, (finally!) I do trust my SD, completely. Sure I’m too trusting, but I don’t think anything he’s hiding could hurt me if he’s hiding anything. Even everything is an act, I don’t really care because my feelings for him is genuine, and that’a good enough for me. Many here complain that they feel so hurt when they find out their SD/SB put up an act and pretend to be into them. I wouldn’t be, if he’s good enough to fool me, doing all the sweet things just to fool me into happiness then it’s good enough for me. If the flower looks real, smells real and makes me smile, why do I care it’s plastic?
    ~the end of very long two cents from a hopeless romantic

  128. Semi-newbie says:

    3. Drama. I don’t think that married SDs are drama-prone, and many married SDs on this blog had told horror stories ranging blackmail to messy breakups. According to the married SDs, the more emotional involved the parties are, the more dramatic the breakups tend to be. I beg to differ. I think how dramatic the breakups are really depend on the personality of the sugar babies. If you’re dating a drama queen, then you should expect a messy breakup. I consider myself mature in handling breakups. I won’t want to hurt anyone, let alone someone I am so fond of. The stronger I feel for him, the more I’m willing to do/sacrifice for him. If he wants out, I would want him to have whatever he wants and not try to hold him back. Some might think it’s easier said than done. In fact, we had a fallout when he freaked out one time and told me he wanted to end things. I agreed on the spot and spent the weekend eating nothing, watching old movies and crying my eyes. But the thought of begging him to come back/ contacting him/ hurting him was never cross my mind. I think the best way to avoid drama is to find an emotional stable person. And emotional stability is not mutually exclusive with being passionate, imho.

  129. Semi-newbie says:

    gosh, the typos. I will proof-read this time!
    2. Emotionally involved. I’m very emotionally involved from the very beginning. I’m in love with him, and sometimes I suspect that I might even love him. My feelings for him are the strongest I have ever had for any men, and I did have several very serious traditional relationship before. I’m a hopeless romantic and fall in love very quickly. I think any romantic relationship without strong mutual emotional ties is just not passionate enough for me, but I did not expect something this passionate coming out of a Sugar relationship. He said he has strong feeling for me too. And I believe him. I’m not delusional though. I know that he loves his wife dearly and would never ever let his two kids get hurt in anyway. I know he will drop me any second if he even suspect a remote possibility that our relationship will harm his family in anyway. I understand and respect his position on this issue. I guess people are essential selfish to a certain extent and may act cruelly if there’s a threat to what’s most important to them. But it does not mean his feelings for me are not genuine. It does mean that I should not expect future as a result of the feelings, and I don’t. As a matter of fact we like to joke morbidly that we’re dumping each other soon because we both know it’s going to end soon and often sooner than we expect. Guru likes to say ” Never get emotionally attached to a married man. It’s a slippery slope”. Here I’m just following my heart and stay in my rosy haze as long as I can. I see this relationship as a dying dear one. I know I’m going to lose her any minute but I still want to spend all the time I can while she’s still with me because I love her so much.

  130. Semi-newbie says:

    Although the topic of married vs single SD has came up multiple times, I still would like to pitch in my 2 cents. I am relatively in Sugar Land and had absolutely no experience with any single SD, so I cannot commend on the difference between the two. My SD is married and we met in less than two months ago. I think being with a married SD, like being with any SD is a very personal experience. Usually the general rules such as Guru’s favorite “don’t get emotionally involved with a married man” and “once a cheater, always a cheater” hold, but we broke every single one of them.
    1. exclusivity. My SD demanded exclusivity and said he is exclusive to me from the very beginning. I would have been exclusive to him even without him asking, because I get emotionally invested in anyone I am having a relationship with and just don’t have the emotional energy for someone else. And I always joke about wanting a gf (I’m bi), because I don’t want him to know that I’m so into him that I don’t want anyone else. I choose to believe that he’s exclusive to me, because we spent so much time together (twice a week) and he’s a such a good daddy who’s always home at 6, it’s hard for him to see anyone else. Like VA gentleman, I practice “what I don’t know cannot hurt me”. But if he does tell me one day that he will start seeing other people, I will have to let him go because I think I will be hurt now I’m so emotionally attached.

  131. NewYorkGirl says:

    Would NOT give any recommendation (I meant)

  132. NewYorkGirl says:

    I do not know. But I think ex SD or ex SB would give any recommendation for the next ones (even relationship ends well). I asked one guy to talk or to write his ex SB ( he was with her for a few years) and he said she tries to start new life, got married and do not want to talk about him. That would be the standard answer I guess.

  133. DorkyGuy says:

    @NewYorkGirl – I think the idea would be especially helpful to married SDs. If I were married, and if the girl has a recommendation from another SD, I know that would help put my mind at ease regarding her willingness to remain discrete.

    Maybe there’s an idea in there for girls who prefer the marrieds… end the relationship well, so that you can use the SD as a reference for your next SD? Not sure if SBs do that, but it sure seems like it would be smart marketing.

  134. NewYorkGirl says:

    Sorry girls who say they would never sleep with a married SD.
    For me is a BIG plus if he is married. ! (I do of see any downside him be married), may be later I would change this my opinion.
    1) he is busy with his job and his family (so he would not text me at 12-05 am “let’s make love right now, come to my place now”. I like that I can plan on this a little bit, although sometime to be spontaneous is a turn on.
    2) more luckily I am going to be the ONLY SB he has. he has to hide me from his wife…. Already exiting, stressful… Costly. Lol. again no time for second SB (has a wife and me).
    Of course if he a “pathological” womanizer that would not stop him. 🙂
    3) one more BIG thing for me (vs guys who never been married) married guy understands how many things / money a woman need to be happy , they know how much women, shoes cost (not $30 like one not married guy thought. ).

    And I am such a sweet and nice girl then a married guy look in side my eyes he knows he can trust me, he wants to help me and support me, and I will never tell his wife or (how people wrote
    here )” blackmail” him.

    Sorry for all mistakes I need for find a SD to pay for my private English lessons. :))

  135. NewYorkGirl says:

    To DorkyGuy: I personally think it is a good idea to have SB diamond club. Not that I would pay more, it would be still free or very low fee, but I can show my ID to Brendon, and it would mean : I am female , live in the country / state I say in my profile , my pictures are real and recent (not BBW). I do not know if it would help SDs with “screening ” process . ? May be?
    2) I do NOT look at income posted on site. Coz it does not matter for me he has < than 1 million or 20 million. I am not marring this guy.
    Plus people do not post a real income anyway (it might be a teenager posting 100 mil a year income). And of course … Depends how generous guy is (not how rich he is) . A very average guy can treat you financially and at every aspect very good.

  136. Va Gentleman says:

    SDGuru–thorough analysis of the topic and I enjoyed reading your blog.

    Cougarlicious – you are right on –that each person/situation is unique and one can’t generalize.

    Even being married I have a monogamous relationship with my SB and have told her so , and that I hope she is monogamous as well. But I haven’t gone so far as to ” demand ” her assurance that she is . I realize she could lie to placate me or tell me that she has other partners which would be worse for me to know . So I choose to accept that I am her one and only and what I don’t know won’t hurt me .However, I do draw the line at other SDs. I would not accept her having others.
    I am seriously emotionally involved with her which I know breaks all the rules of engagement -so to speak-but feelings are what they are . We are going on a year together and I am just fascinated to see where our relationship goes .You know the saying –about prefering to have loved and lost rather than to have never loved at all —

  137. DorkyGuy says:

    regarding Diamond Club… The other DC members may have a more accurate answers, as I’m new to this, but here are my first impressions…

    I have had probably 20 girls introduce themselves since last night. Most were pretty high quality. It also noticed that alot of the types of girls I’d have to turn away before just don’t bother contacting, because they don’t figure they belong with a DC member. Another bonus. But the real benefit isn’t with the quantity. The girls are really making an effort to introduce themselves and identify things that they have in common with you and establish a dialog. It’s absolutely wonderful.

    The down side… I don’t travel much, and most of the people contacting me are not local. So of the 20 who have contacted me, all high quality, not a single one has been a real prospect. That’s only because of geography though.

    But I’m less than 12 hours in. I have no idea if it will keep up at this pace. Eventually, it should slow down.

    Regarding the screening process… Verifying income is very straightforward. Tax returns… no problem. Verifying net worth has some question marks. I don’t want the people I work with to know about this, so contacting my controller for a business valuation is out of the question. While I get these issues worked out with Brandon, I have my net worth set to $0->$100k. Even with my net worth set low, I am still happy with the response from SBs. Maybe the SBs on the blog can offer insight? Do you mainly just look at income? Personally, I have most of my assets in my business, so if you look at my personal assets only, my net worth is not very high.

    I think there could be a way for Brandon to offer a Diamond Club SB program. What if a girl could qualify as a Diamond Club SB if she had verified photos (via drivers license), verified location (via drivers license), and a recommendation from a Diamond Club SD? That would also be a benefit to the Diamond Club SDs, because the SBs would be clamoring to be with them to get the recommendation. Maybe a flaw in that thinking though.

  138. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    I have done both and I find that it depends on the person.

    If he is married, he a) is nervous that he will end up dating a psycho blackmailer b) tends to ask for monogamy when he himself is not c) wants to feel trusted, even as he realizes the irony in trusting a married man who is not faithful. One word of advice to married men…don’t ask your sb if she would trust you in a “real” relationship unless you want the “real” answer. My married SD was a wonderful man, but found it hard to maintain the NSA boundaries we all treasure in sugar. I tend to be a hopeless romantic when the man is available, but more pragmatic when he is not. Where do you find the balance?

    Single SDs are wonderful if they are genuine, humble SDs who don’t go around telling everyone they can get any woman they want. The right ones realize that sugar comes in many forms and that this is not a “real relationship” in that she leaves her drama, her kids, her issues at home while they enjoy sugary times together. He realizes he is investing in her goals, dreams and helping out a bit because she is taking time away from finding “happily ever after” to be with him.

    I tended to keep sugar in a box and not entertain the notion that a real relationship can evolve from sugar. It’s foundation is built under different circumstances and therefore is not likely to endure life’s realities.

  139. Va Gentleman says:

    Married vs single ?

    Each option presents different benefits and drawbacks :

    Married —usually preserves NSA for both , since getting unmarried is so traumatic financially and
    emotionally (see EnigmaSD ‘s post above as a prime example) and promotes fidelity to the Baby. It is so much riskier to date around and see multiple people .
    Drama is the downside ,discovery ,the need to sneak around , confrontation , trust issues (if he/she cheats on partner ,how can I trust him/her ? )

    Single —this person is free to come and go at will , fall in love unencumbered ,has unfettered finances to lavish on his Sugar Baby, but —perhaps is less likely to stay with one person due to unrestricted ability to date around whenever and wherever .

    I would like to know how the board feels about this issue . Asian SB is a vote for Single. I vote single although I would consider a married SB if Iwere looking . . My Baby is single and I love it that she is available for me usually when I can spend time with her .

    • SD Guru says:

      I’d rather not have met a married man at all. Which I suppose is the best advice to myself.

      Married SD’s are not for everyone, and neither are single SD’s. As Va Gent pointed out there are benefits and drawbacks to each. However, my take is a bit different from his as I’ve discussed in my blog.

  140. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    NewYorkGirl – 59 Diamond SDs are on now? It used to be less than 20…that’s a nice improvement. I don’t think there is a Diamond membership for the SBs…defeats the purpose. Diamond Club is where SDs verify their wealth with SA. It does not verify everything though, nor does it mean he is a generous (or nice) man so continue to screen as you would the non-Diamond members.

    AsianSB – Welcome back!!!

    Dorky Guy – You are now the hunted. I’m curious to see how this goes! BTW – What was your opinion of the verification process. If you were an SB and knew the process, what would be your advice to other ladies?

  141. NewYorkGirl says:

    Yes, there an option to view diamond SD only:)))
    Only 59 diamond guys on this web site. How many diamond SB?

  142. Stormcat says:

    South ~ I would guess from the size of the site compared to the number of people posting on the blog, that the number of SDs (or SBs for that matter) that come here represent a fairly small percentage. That said however, I believe that most of the blog visitors are lurkers and never post or join in.

    AsianSB ~ I remember watching a scene in an old French film where two women are discussing their respective romances. When asked why one of them had fallen in love with a married man she replied that she had fallen in lololololove with him before she met him and found out he was mamamamamarried. Oh the woe of it! Love strikes in spite of our best efforts to avoid it!

    CONGRADULATIONS DorkyGuy on going diamond! Keep us up to date on how it goes! I always wondered whether the SBs who only date diamonds were any different from those who date us ordinary blokes.

    Say! When a SB does a custom search is there an option to view only Diamond Club members?

  143. AsianSB says:

    Naturally no one thinks about the end when they enter a relationship. But the fact is that most relationships come to an end for whatever reason, especially the NSA sugar type. In general a sugar relationship is supposed to serve a purpose at a point in time and it’s not meant to last.

    As for emotional involvement, one of my golden rules is “don’t get emotionally attached, especially for a married man.” I have learned this the hard way as described in my blog. Enjoy the sugar relationship for what it is and set clear emotional boundaries so that you don’t end up going down a slippery slope.

    You are indeed an SD Guru. That should answer my queries to you. Not to get emotionally attached.. however, I’d rather not have met a married man at all. Which I suppose is the best advice to myself. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure they say. (=

  144. South says:

    Do most SDs come around this commenting section too? Is this a small community?

  145. DorkyGuy says:

    @Stormcat – check your old email address… dropped a line to you there

  146. DorkyGuy says:

    Holy cow… I upgraded to Diamond Club only an hour ago, and my mailbox has been going nuts. I may actually have to disable winking.

  147. SouthernGent2 says:

    Guru – I screen too carefully I think. In fact to the point where I had to apologize for coming off as an asshole to one girl. I actually met her for lunch today, and there will be a next date for certain. Sat in the parking lot for an extra hour just talking. So maybe my post from yesterday removed the hex.

    I sent you an email yesterday btw.

  148. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Enigma – It’s true. Having gone through a divorce myself, I did lean on someone for emotional support and was particularly vulnerable. I caught myself quickly enough and put a stop to it. However, the reality is we all want to feel loved.

  149. Enigma SD says:

    Midwest — funny you should say that…. going through some of that right now. Just moving it to platonic and being supportive. I actually underestimated how fast we would get to that point, and I didn’t think a 28 yo would develop feelings for me, but I think part of it is her fragile emotional state :/

  150. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Hey sugars! Well, life keeps throwing curve balls and I keep ducking. Hope it ends soon! Looks like graduation is postponed until May. I’ll make the most of it.

    Enigma – Good luck on your new search. I’m sure you won’t be lonely long. Did you forget the other downside to an affair….she gets attached when it’s time to finally file? Yep…no doubt she’s into you. 🙂 I’ve always felt you picked genuine sugars.

    NJ Baby – Yay on the pot!

    AM – How was the recipe?

  151. Anna Molly says:

    Hi everyone! Hope all is well! 🙂

  152. Enigma SD says:

    Arcadia SB — the College Baby thing (free premium membership) is alive and well. From my perspective, it looks like it has improved the quality of the SB pool, even in my target age range of late 20s to late 30s. Well done Brandon!

    SD Guru — the affair I was having is coming to an end. She is close to filing for divorce and some things are getting kind of ugly in her personal life. I want to detach myself from that. I made a new account on SA last week, and I have a date next week (out of town) that I am pretty excited about. I did prefer the affair to sugar dating, but affairs are a lot harder to find, and the downside is that the logistics are a lot more tricky when both are married. The big plus side… there is absolutely no doubt whether the woman really likes you. So…. no need to track #1, #2, etc I am a one SB kinda guy 🙂

  153. Arcadia SB says:

    Speaking of Diamond club and memberships statuses… did the “College Baby” thing die off? I haven’t seen it recently…though I also haven’t logged in an two months or so 🙂

  154. DorkyGuy says:

    If I get Diamond Club, girls will pay to get me? Sign me up! I checked yesterday AsianSB, and it was ~$179/month, or ~$1100/year. Honestly, not a lot, if he’s real. The only question I have it is if you purchase the yearly, can you suspend it if you get an SB and pick it up again when that relationship ends?

  155. AsianSB says:

    By the way guys, how much does one have to pay to get a Diamond Club SD?

  156. NewYorkGirl says:

    Good for you NJbaby.I am happy for you.
    I hope he is Diamond club SD and will treat you nice and fair.

    (if you remember my ex pot who wanted to pay me paycheck was all over the Internet too, successful and powerful, gave me his real name even he is married and i could see his job place , clients… In Internet, but was a disappointment for me).

  157. Stormcat says:

    Kindred Spirit ~ You are so on to what I always considered the beautiful nature of arrangements. The outside world sees it as dirty old men and hookers but the reality is altruistic acts and gracious appreciation. I find myself in awe at the wonderful nature of these relationships. I feel sorry for those who have the opportunity to participate yet blow-it by crass behavior and selfish egotism. Might I say that you seem to harbor a bit of Tortuous Bohemian Romance yourself. 🙂

  158. NJbaby says:

    Sorry for disappearing. I was away for the weekend in DC at a few concerts.

    I met a pot today for lunch who happens to be English! He is absolutely incredible–we had such excellent chemistry, a two hour lunch where we barely ate and mostly talked. I am so excited about meeting him for dinner next week. After the last flake, perhaps this is my good karma? I will admit it’ makes me a bit nervous to possibly have an arrangement with someone who has a Wikipedia page about them!

  159. Kindred Spirit says:

    @ DorkyGuy~ Hmm, actually “Smart&SexySD” has a better ring to it…. 😉

    @ Stormcat~ Oh, I didn’t realize he had been on here before! #^_^# (blush) Well, okay DorkyGuy it is! Cool to meet people who had been on the blog some time ago and have popped up again!

    About your comment regarding White Knights~ “just because a White Knight has been used by an undeserving leech doesn’t make the act any less honorable and does not make the Knight any less wonderful! The act will be rewarded!”

    I agree whole-heartedly!! I do hope you did not see my post as being critical…I know you are one of those particularly romantic white knights out there (recalling your previous blog posts) and it’s so lovely that this blog exists so we can learn together. Can’t begin to tell anyone how much I’ve learned from this blog….

    Anyway, ya know what? I think part of being an SB is being genuinely appreciative, gracious and giving (by initiative and in return). I’m a sucker for looking up to an SD with admiration in many ways, which is impossible for me to fake. For example, they’d feel the interest and awe in my kisses~ as I think, oh how lucky I am and how wonderful he is! Honestly, I look at all genuine SDs as “White Knights”, because of that extra specialness they bring into a girl’s life that the girl otherwise probably would not have…with no strings attached, anyway.

    Sorry to muddy up the waters with the white knight definition, but if a man may choose to come into my life to help me out with a financial issue (though it wouldn’t be regarding poverty for me), and he frickin’ would make my year in that simple gesture (and I can be seen/felt dancing about with awe and heartfelt gratitude), does that mean that I’d just been “rescued” by a white knight? *shrug* Aren’t all true SDs a white knight to a degree, by helping a lady out with her life in such a grand way? Part of the fun is that it all feels quite magical…. ^_^

    The intent of helpfulness behind a white knight’s initiative is certainly a beautiful thing; and once he finds the right, appreciative lady, woo-hoo! Behold a mutually-created arrangement of “gold” when those mutual benefits begin!!! 😀 Whom’s heart, in the end, feels richer? 😉

    Spectacular conversation, by the way!

  160. Stormcat says:

    Blog Gods Please give my current e-mail address to DorkyGuy

  161. NewYorkGirl says:

    Oh… Too bad you just found your SB 🙂
    You are fun.

  162. Va Gentleman says:

    New York Girl –you sound like my kind of girl .

    Being smart ,self sufficient and proud is important for me to gain respect for my Baby ,but I also like a little touch of vulnerability to allow me to feel needed.

    • SD Guru says:

      @Va Gent
      Emotional attatchment is to be avoided ,but being human I have fallen head over heels for my Baby. So what is one to do about that?

      Affairs of the heart are not always logical or rational despite our best intentions. As described in my blog, I’ve gotten emotionally attached 3 times with my SB’s in the distant past. The first ended in blackmail, the second ended with a broken heart, and the third ended in a train wreck. I’m not saying that’s what will happen in your case. But if you can’t avoid being emotionally attached, then be aware of the possible consequences and be prepared to deal with it when the time comes.

      I know for myself that my SB is very unlikely to consider me a life partner since many decades separate us in age

      While that may be true, let’s consider the what if’s. Let’s say hypothetically she would consider you as a life partner, then what?? As a married family man are you in a position to respond, and if so at what cost? Sometimes it’s better not to go down that path.

      Desperate poverty —is unfortunate but does not make for good sugar arrangements.

      Most desperate SB’s follow a script that goes something like this: “I need (insert dollar amount) for (insert dire need) by (insert yesterday) or I’ll be (insert dire consequences).” As discussed before, most SD’s would next that right away, but it could appeal to white knights.

      RE: Age and parity of the SB… Age is relative and I know many guys prefer older more mature ladies.

      Yes that’s true and we have DorkyGuy as an example of that. However, some SD’s look at the age disparity in terms of what they can date in a normal scenario. Let’s say a typical successful man can usually date up to 10 years younger without any problems. Therefore should he do the same when it comes to sugar dating, or should he use the sugar to reach younger and more attractive women than what he could date normally? It’s a personal preference and each SD will approach it differently.

      I have been on a bad streak of “interviews” recently. Think I have gone eight first meetings in a row without having a second meeting.

      I’m sorry to hear that. Have you tried to do a better job of screening before you get to the first meeting? You should be able to spot most liars, flakes, and no sex types if you screen relentlessly.

      Self-awareness is key. I know that I have a weakness, and need to be more guarded against that weakness being exploited.

      Exactly! Being self aware is a great step forward and I hope you’ll have better experiences in the future.

      @Enigma SD
      On Friday I was texting with an pot SB after having emailed each other a few days…

      Are you searching for your #2 or #3? Maybe I need to start a spreadsheet to keep up like I did for Michael! :mrgreen:

  163. Va Gentleman says:

    Michael and Dorky Guy –nice to make your acquaintance . This is certainly a fun and rewarding hobby .

    I had to kiss a lot of frogs to find my princess. Previously I was not on SA . I wish I had discoved this site earlier , but better late than never .

  164. NewYorkGirl says:

    VA gent. Thank you for your post about poverty and SB. I think SB has to have her basics needs covered. I do NOT understand when girls like…. ” my cell phone disconnected , no electricity , cards maxed out…. ” . Sorry girls… Are u smart or not? You alway can have part time job even if you a student. I came to the USA with no English and no money… And never been though poverty or unpaid bills. If I were a SD I would think… “if she maxed out her cards, no med dental insurance , electricity not paid…. When did she took shower last time, and got mani / pedi …” may be it is only me and my girly point of view. I like to be classy and well groomed, come on heels with perfect manicure and hair. And i like to have fun with a guy, smile, come to hotel with a smile and leave it with a smile, not to complain about problems and lack of money.
    May be I should change that attitude, since guys want to be “white knights” and i have to please them telling them they are saving me from starvation.

  165. Michael Alleycat says:

    @DorkyGuy – love the avatar!!!

    Re age disparity – I have an IRL booty call going for a couple of months now, she is in her late 40s, I am 54, and it is the best thing ever. Far more fun and interesting than all – except one – of my previous SBs. Smart and understands life. Just works well.

    The SB where it did work well – she was 27, half my age. We just pretended that she was 32 and I was 45 lol. We had similar backgrounds and life experiences, plus we connected quite well.

  166. SouthernGent2 says:

    M Alleycat – I just got a good laugh at your “got fired” comment. I have been on a bad streak of “interviews” recently. Think I have gone eight first meetings in a row without having a second meeting. Only one interested me, and she was honest enough to tell me that she was already seeing someone, but if I was willing to share, then she was fine with it. I haven’t decided just yet about her. The others were liars, flakes, or preferred no sex. Probably a good time to take a break from all this anyway with holidays coming up. Back to the fun in January.

  167. DorkyGuy says:

    @Stormcat- Hey! Now there’s a sight for sore eyes! We surely must connect offline. I’ll look up your email addy this evening. BTW, the transition is imminent. I have resolved all of my old hangups, and have just decided to dive in. Currently identifying pots, and plan to make a decision on a SB next month.

    RE: age disparity… I am 38, and one of the most interesting pots I have talked to is 43. She captured my attention because she showed how well she understands the needs of the busy, successful man. If you play to your strengths, you can get attention.

    @ Enigma and VA, cheers! Glad to meet you!

  168. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Enigma and Va Gentleman
    My last SB got fired because she was always mis-managing her money, and let her ego make financial decisions for her.

    The last straw was when she asked me for $ for shoes, clothes and school books for her kids. This came a month after paying $1100 for a new set of golf clubs, and driving a 3 y.o. Benz. I don’t think so….

  169. Enigma SD says:

    I still talk to her occasionally — she graduated from college and got a real job and is looking for a husband now.

  170. Va Gentleman says:

    EnigmaSD —it sounds like she was a winner for you ( and you for her ) . Each situation is different and unique ,so I guess I should never say never . I gather that she is no longer in your life ? If not I hope you have found others who have been equally rewarding . And if not why did the arrangement end ?

  171. Stormcat says:

    Kindred Spirit @ Oh and by the way, I relate to Dorky guy by his White Knight propensities and have myself been down that road. What’s sad is that there are so many un-deserving users out there taking advantage of such people. However, just because a White Knight has been used by an undeserving leech doesn’t make the act any less honorable and does not make the Knight any less wonderful! The act will be rewarded!

  172. Enigma SD says:

    Hey Va Gent — for my first SB, I was providing for all of her basic expenses, which weren’t outrageous. Her parents were paying her tuition (she went back to college at 27). Occasionally she had emergencies that needed covering, but they were always legitimate. She didn’t live an extravagant lifestyle though. I basically had short-term responsibility for her life (2 years), but she always treated me like she appreciated what I did for her. I guess the difference was that she was providing for herself when I met her, and she swapped 120 hours a month waitressing for 1-2 days/nights a month of spending time with someone she enjoyed seeing.

  173. Va Gentleman says:

    Desperate poverty —is unfortunate but does not make for good sugar arrangements .

    My first several meets as a SD involved girls in these situations , and they are never satisfied and I constantly got calls for more money -“-the rent is late , I’m going to be evicted , my car needs $800 repairs, license expired, no food for groceries —” and the list goes on . They have nothing emotionally to give their SD. Once a SD is on the hook it is hard to say no and extricate oneself from the trap . As SDGuru said –you can’t make their problems yours . So I will NEVER see a SB who does not have the basics covered . I want to make her life special ,not assume responsibility for her life .

    RE: Age and parity of the SB—in an earlier topic the question arose whether men are interested in older women (over 30 ) and mothers of young children . NO.
    HaHa —just kidding . IMHO SDs are looking for a SB who is available when they want them to be and to provide the attention that they hunger for . ie -love and affection , respect, good company, arm candy –to name a few . Age is relative and I know many guys prefer older more mature ladies.

  174. Va Gentleman says:

    Good Monday all ! Hope the weekend was sugarlicious !

    Re: Jenn’s question–Small transactions in and of themselves not trigger an audit , but in the unlikely event that you are subject to a random tax audit then you will be required to explain where your money came from. Perhaps the accountants here can be more specific about risks and techniques to protect yourself . Look at it this way . Say your SD gives you a $2000/month allowance ,which adds up to $24K /year . If you are working and making $40K /yr then your tax liability goes up significantly . It just makes sense to me to keep your play money UTR in cash equivalents –ie . in a home safe , not CDs. I’m not advocating tax evasion , but —you have to make your own decision about that .

    Re Operto : $1million incomes -what does it really matter ? What does matter is how much that SD is willing to pay you for your company . Most guys are going to exaggerate anyway -height ,weight ,net worth , penis size –right ? When push comes to shove , if you are lucky enough to meet an honorable guy who will do what he says he will do , then you can go to the bank on that .

    Re: SDGuru —as always good advice . Emotional attatchment is to be avoided ,but being human I have fallen head over heels for my Baby. So what is one to do about that ? I think that the emotional aspect is what makes a relationship real and meaningful , but ever so trying . I know for myself that my SB is very unlikely to consider me a life partner since many decades separate us in age ,even though she treats me like the love of her life . She is a mover and shaker and has a great future in her own right ,so I know she doesn’t need a permanent Daddy to support her . So I have accepted the fact that we are just loving the heck out of each other and take what comes . I would be surprised if she ever broached that subject , but if she does we will talk about it and figure out where we fit in each other’s lives .

  175. Stormcat says:

    @ Sugarbrat ~ lol But just wondered, since you don’t have a british accent, do you really talk any less?

  176. Stormcat says:

    Hey DorkyGuy (Waving and smiling) I haven’t seen you for a while. Of course I’m rather absent a lot here too.
    @ Kindredspirit ~ DokyGuy can’t change his moniker now cause then no one would recognize him from the old days. That is unless he starts making a regular presence again and transitions the change.

  177. Enigma SD says:

    Welcome to the blog DorkyGuy. On Friday I was texting with an pot SB after having emailed each other a few days… she indicated that she was broke, had no food, and didn’t know if she would be able to eat this weekend – would I be willing to send $100 to her paypal account. Not that I really want to sugar date someone that desperate, but I said I am not ready to provide support. We texted a little more (my guard was way up), and later in the day, she said she will be busy for a while because she is getting her hair colored because it had become “dull.” No money for groceries but can get her hair colored? Next! There are tons of hard luck stories out there, and the question I keep asking myself… would I date this woman under more “normal” circumstances? It is a great self check for me. There are a lot of really nice SBs on the site, but you must screen relentlessly 🙂

  178. DorkyGuy says:

    @Kindred Spirit – Thank you very much for the new moniker 🙂 I may be Sweet, but not feeling very Smart, lol! Maybe “Sweet&GullibleSD”. I should put that up for a week, just to see what kinds of hits I get.

    @SD Guru – I looked at your post, and you pegged it exactly right. I have a profound desire to feel admired and appreciated by someone beautiful. If the right woman ever figured out how to always make me feel that way all of the time, I would be putty in her hands.

    Self-awareness is key. I know that I have a weakness, and need to be more guarded against that weakness being exploited.

  179. NewYorkGirl says:

    Good question. 🙂
    I am in Manhattan. A lot of people, a lot of rich and generous guys?
    Let me share my experience at this site.
    One guy asked for my naked and lingerie pics since he want to know “what he is buying” for 1 night.
    Another one asked/wrote right away how much Do I need a week (we have not met, have not talked via phone).
    Next guy (we talked via phone 3-4 minutes) a few days later he wrote he is in the city and want to ” make love to me at 4 pm today” , I wrote we have not met and do not know if there is a chemistry. …
    One more… We talked on a phone, he told me he is busy going to diner with his relatives, later texted me “I finished diner” it was 11-59 pm. I wrote back “ok” . This is it.

    I have not met personally no one (just talk on phone with 2 guys, and got notes and answered to 37 messages).

    I am not sure who is real with 1.000.000 income.
    Sorry, but it looks like it is circus or zoo (I have not decide yet).

    • SD Guru says:

      @DorkyGuy & Kindred Spirit

      Your stories are good examples of why we need these golden rules, so repeat after me:

      1. Don’t reward bad behavior.
      2. Don’t ignore warning signs.
      3. Don’t expect someone’s behavior to change over time.

      And especially for NSA SD’s,
      4. Don’t let her problems become yours.

      And if anyone has the White Knight Syndrome or think they might have it, take a look at this post.

      @Operto & NewYorkGirl

      Other than SD’s who are part of the Diamond Club which requires income and asset verification, a SD can put whatever he wants in his profile. Also, a SD’s wealth, income, and lifestyle may not directly relate to how generous and how willing he is to provide an allowance. I had addressed this topic in my blog.

  180. Operto says:

    I wanted to post this question in the 99% post, but I’ve read this site has 7,500 SDs with incomes over $1 million. What % of these guys are true, and what % are of them are fakes?

  181. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Jenn – my advice would be to deposit it in several transactions, less than $1k each. There is no need to be paranoid, IRS doesn’t track small transactions like this.

    Banks do have an obligation to report cash transactions of $10,000 or more in cash, known as a Currency Transaction Report. The objective is to stop money laundering, large cash sales such as drugs etc.

    You really don’t have to worry about it.

  182. Jenn says:

    Hi guys, I was reading something VA said “If a SB deposits it in the bank then the IRS has access to the information and she might get dinged in an audit” and I have a question. So far I’ve gotten cash from my SD and it’s over 3 k. I want to put it in the bank into a checking account. I’m 20 & Ive never had a job/never paid taxes so is it possible the IRS would notice large amounts like this? I have no idea how this kind of thing works so I apologize ahead of time if this is a dumb question, but what he said got me worried. any advice would be appreciated, thanks.

  183. Kindred Spirit says:

    @DorkyGuy: first of all, how about changing your moniker name to something like Smart&SweetSD? 😉 I’m very, very glad that you took all the steps you did for protecting yourself and your finances. It’s very disheartening when someone sounds so convincingly like the real deal and then proves otherwise! You are what we bloggers call a “White Knight”- an SD who likes to help a special, appreciative lady in dire need. It can indeed be a pretty risky, slippery slope, however, as you have realized. The worrisome part is that usually the girl is consistantly in “dire need” for one reason or another, and it no longer becomes gratifying to help them because it never ends! lol

    A friend from this site once helped a girl in dire need (I hesitate to call them true SBs) by sending her money to her checking account to help her out. It was the first time he’d been on the site and thought he was doing a gallant act of kindness. They had never met first. He even lived in a different state, but traveled frequently.

    Anyway, at first she was super appreciative and gushing of thank you’s, etc, through email or text. He helped her two times, sent her abt $400 each time, I believe. This was in a matter of weeks. Not long after the 2nd time, he happened to be coming down for a convention in the city she lives in for several days, so asked her to dinner or lunch, so they could meet. Imagine his disappointment when by text she curtly said no, she wouldn’t be available. O_o She did not offer any options for the future, or even say sorry.

    Later, a few weeks later, this girl had the gall to text him saying she needed more money. Feeling uncomfortable already, he told her he was busy working overseas (which was true) and could not help her right now. She acted demanding, saying something like, “Well, can’t you just wire it to me?” Finally, my friend had had enough. He texted back, “Sorry, NO.” She kept pushing him, and he finally stopped returning her texts after clearly stating, “No more, sorry” several times.

    Of course, there were red flags everywhere, but he was very new to the SA site and this type of dating, this was the first girl he seemed to connect with over emails, and as the White Knight that he is, well her sob story was all he needed to be convinced and send her some help. Yes, he learned, but if I had known him before this girl I’d have insisted he take some smart steps to verify her need, as well as speak to her and preferably meet at least once. 🙁 It’s just too risky otherwise.

    You, Smart&SweetSD 😉 (aka “DorkyGuy”), took the correct, smart steps, and thank goodness (you are also a rare person who’d help so kindly without even meeting)!! May other fellow SDs learn from these stories for preventing heart- and financial-burn!

    Thank you so much for posting!!! 😀 Oh, and best wishes to you in finding the right SB match!

  184. Arcadia SB says:

    Well, as I am now a UK SB, I think I’ll jump in on this one 🙂 Though I have been really inactive on the site and in the blog for a few months. I just haven’t really felt like dating, then thought I’d try “normal” dating again…Anyways, Hello again everyone from the blog! Sorry that I regularly disappear, but this master’s degree is getting a lot of my time right now.

    If you are an American, have you been contacted by a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby from the UK?
    I’m going to spin the answer on this, as I am an American SB living in the UK. Honestly most of my e-mails about potentially being an SB have been from Continental Europe. Thought from England too. I live in Scotland and an say the Scottish SDs seem few and far between. I also think that for Brits distance is viewed a little differently. I think of London as a trip I can easily make for the weekend since is so so close and my British friends look at me like I’m crazy because it’s 4 whole hours on the train. (shorter by plane)

    Would you ever consider a trans-Atlantic sugar relationship?
    Currently that would be a reverse for me and would let me go home more often. However…it is a 9 hour plane ride and that’s a hard hurdle to deal with. I’d rather spend time with someone than flying back and forth over the ocean, but it would depend on who, when, how long, and everything like that….never say never! I will say it’s not my first choice.

    What do you find most sexy about a British Sugar Daddy?
    Well of course the accent, but some of the SDs contacting me are Americans living abroad so really it’s the person I’m attracted to. Hopefully I’ll find a good one.

    I hope everyone is having great luck right now. I’m going to try and read to catch up with some of what’s going on in the blog!

    I also hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving this week, somehow I ended up roped in to cooking for 35 brits to show them what an American Thanksgiving is like! It’ll be an adventure!

  185. DorkyGuy says:

    Hey guys, just wanted to warn you about a very well organized scam I ran across yesterday. If I were married, and trying to hide a paper trail, I don’t think I would have caught on that it was a scam.

    A very wholesome looking “SB” contacted me from two towns over, with a very compelling story for why she needed help. There were kids involved, and I have a soft spot, so I told her I would provide some help if she could prove that her pics were real, her location was real, and her circumstances were real.

    She then sent very convincing documents that had been created to prove her claim. I provided her with my identity information to show her I was a person of means, and not just some internet weirdo.

    The last step was simple. I told her I would send a personal check via physical mail to her address in that city if she could provide me with a picture of herself holding a piece of paper with my name on it (which never materialized). She objected to the idea of a personal check delivered by postal mail. I explained that an unmarried person has nothing to hide, and that there is there was no reason for an unmarried person to fear a paper trail on a small gift to a friend. She poofed. I figure the scam artists were located nowhere near the town and could not have retrieved a physical check.

    The thing that struck me about this was the quality of the documentation, the well-developed back-story, and the accomplices (supposed landlord, etc) that she promised to put me in touch with to confirm her story. A lot of work was put into putting together a really well developed scam.

    It occurred to me later that if I were married, I would have also been exposed to blackmail. Engaging this hard-luck case could have been devastating.

    A couple of questions to the more experienced SDs… 1) Do you ever help hard-luck cases, just out of kindness? 2) Have you ever had someone threaten blackmail, and how did you handle it?

    I guess the moral is that I am probably too naive, and to be careful out there. It sucks, because I really enjoy helping people in genuine need. But you never know if you are being taken for a ride, so I guess I can’t.

  186. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    2Chic – You look lovely! Hope you are well!

  187. Anna Molly says:

    Sugar-Chic! I was just thinking about you last night and wondering how you were!! Welcome back darlin’! 🙂

  188. AudreySB says:

    Hello Lovely sugars!
    I was super busy due to school for the last few weeks… Now I need to catch up on the blogs 🙂
    -DallasBaby- I got a few e-mail address and I don’t know which one is which. Mine has ‘xmas’ on it. Can you give me hint of your email address or email me if you got those address? I really want to meet some SBs.

  189. Sugar-Chic (2Chic) says:

    Hello Sugars, It’s been awhile, nice to see so many new friends as well as old.

    Splash, I had a similar experience once, I could not stomach the thought of the guy touching me. I had to decline his offers, he continued to contact me with offers. I was adamant, it was not going to happen. LOL

  190. Cece says:

    LOL Splash- That really made me laugh. But it shows that looks are not always that important.

  191. splash says:

    tea sb,i have dated a real ugly sugar daddy once,well this is what happened,ps i knew his full names and company so i was ok for him to pick me up from my place by cab,anyhow from the minute i saw him i thought .fxxk what have i got myself into,he was that bad,and not as tall as i usually like,but he was such a gentleman and was polite,on arrival at the restaurant,i begun to think,damn how am i going to walk in with this man,i didnt want to be seen with him,but i wasn’t about to be so rude to cancel the date upon meeting for that reason,anyhow i composed myself and thought oh well am beautiful and attractive its him thats not so i should hold my head high,anyhow we walked in and i was that confident without bieng cocky or arrogant about it,and we settled at out=r table,we had a pleasant time and i was shocked at the end of our meeting ,i wanted to see him again,he had charmed me in other ways,i begun to get attracted to his personality rather than his physical,i quickly forgot how ugly he was,and all i could see was a beautiful man,anyhow it lasted 5mths before i met someone else who i even liked better
    but last week i went on a date,this guy just had a picture of his face on his profile,and u guessed it he wasnt attractive,but i thought il give it a go to meet,i convinced myself ah ..most passport shots dont look good any way,and as i hate asking people to send me their pictures,i didnt ask him for another pic,ps; i too hate it when guys ask for more pics before iv even met,its like if u dont like what i have already posted then am sorry,anyhow i turn up and i have never wanted the ground to swallow me,jeez,he was as ugly as sin(excuse me)i just cant find words to describe him,he was fat,very short,huge stomach,biggest one i have seen to date,and bold,also he didnt have a good shave,he had missed bits,total turn off,then what topped it all off was he had missing teeth,can u imagine this?oh and he was disgusting he had a squeaky voice(hadnt chatted on phone till i met him) oh people kept starring at me,u could tell they were thinking what the f is she doing with him,anyhow i had to txt afriend real quick and told her to ring me in say 30minutes and say i was needed at home asap,now i know this was mean but it was that bad,i was with him for nearly an hr before i left,it was a shame as he also had a very good arrangement in plan,but there was no way i was settling for that money,he was gross,i doubt he even had good personal hygiene,i told my friend about it and she doubts he was a real sugar daddy,so to answer your question tea sb,i would take a chance to meet him just to see if there is anything else apart from the physical u may find attractive,personally i do tend to be drawn to ones personality more than looks,but not if he looks as gross as the last man i described,had he posted a pictures with all his teeth out,and his full body,he was obese and bse am so thin there is no way i would date and over weight guy,it just wouldnt go down in the bedroom department if ever we came to this,so it all depends on how gross one is

  192. Va Gentleman says:

    New York Girl—I also have had that experience with new partners. Giving into that physical enjoyment does fast forward a relationship emotionally . Obviously repulsion would obviate that possibility but reasonable attraction can lead to a deeper involvement and a nice SD/SB affair .

    After all , most of us are not looking for that forever partner , but mainly an enjoyable ,caring arrangement .

  193. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    PS – I am in no way validating a criminal background check. Just a little honesty.

  194. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    I hear you guys and appreciate the risk of being a married sd in a small town. I’m single and I still prefer travel daddies b/c I live in a small town and don’t want anyone in my business. It seems like a married man would at least meet out of town to protect himself.

    That said, I have married men give me their business cards on a regular basis (not for business purposes). They may be foolish, egomaniacs, somewhat trusting or realize they haven’t done anything risky at that point. An employee can do more damage with accusations than someone you meet for the first time in a restaurant. A friend (or her) with a camera phone can do some serious damage as well. Do you really think withholding your name is the ultimate protection? If you feel like you”re taking a chance with her, then don’t meet her. I don’t think it’s fair that you require she meet you without some idea of who you really are.

    Call me cautious and perhaps I’ve missed out on an opportunity or two, but I consider those his loss. You also don’t hear me tell of personal experiences that would make your skin crawl.

  195. NewYorkGirl says:

    To TeaSB. May be u can give this guy a chance. If u r not
    Attracted to him, but he is nice and respectful … He will grow on you. happen to me all the time . First I can not imagine Sleeping with a new guy , but once I have sex with him I start like him much more. Or it is only me?

  196. frank says:

    Thanks for all the input.

    She is in town, so travel is not an issue. I am somewhat paranoid because this is a small town, and with my last name she can track down where I work, live, my wife’s name etc.

    I look at it as if I met her at a bar, and asked to join me for a drink, and she asked me to wait while she ran a criminal check on me. Seems like overkill to me.

    Finally, how is she putting her safety in danger by meeting me somewhere during the day at a public place. I just don’t see it.

  197. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    What a mixed bag…I don’t know if we’re helping Frank with a definitive answer 🙂

    • SD Guru says:

      @Midwest SB

      I think the key in Frank’s case is that they’re meeting at a public place (a restaurant?) just to see if they’re compatible and no extensive travel is involved (ie no flights). In that situation there is no reason why the SB would require his personal info for her safety. It’s always a balancing act between a SB’s safety and a married SD’s need for discretion, but in this case I’d consider the SB’s request unreasonable. Also, there is a difference between a SD who willingly provides that info on his own, versus a SB who requires it just to meet.

  198. Anna Molly says:

    Frank – I too think this is unreasonable and I wouldn’t give her any personal info. I’m wondering if she does a criminal check on people she meets outside of the sugar world?

  199. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Frank – I know you’re meeting in a public place, but a woman must always keep her safety in mind. If she is coming in from out of town, there is an added element of uncertainty. I think a criminal background check is going a bit far, but I’ve had married pots (and SD) share their real name and business with me. I use sites like dirtsearch and google to see if they are who they say they are.

    Personally, I wouldn’t meet someone if they can’t trust me enough to share their real name…especially if it’s someone from out of town. You’re not meeting her in a hotel room or planning to have sex on the first meet, so what could she possibly hold against you that someone you know well couldn’t pull? I respect discretion fully, but sugar does require a little give and take from the start. It can’t all be on her.

  200. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Frank – run. This is an unreasonable request if you are just meeting in a public to see if you are compatible.

    Maybe later on as you get to know and trust each, ok, but then you should also ask the same information of her.

  201. Enigma SD says:

    Frank — I typically provide my full name and company website to a potential SB prior to meeting. I take a few weeks to get to know someone before I provide that information, and my SBs have resided out of town. I would suggest that you tell her that you would first like to meet her in a public place for discretionary reasons. After you feel more comfortable with her, tell her you will disclose more information. If she isn’t comfortable with that, it may be time to move on.

    • SD Guru says:


      I’ll give you the same advice I tell SB’s who encounter a demand from SD’s they’re not sure about… don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. Ask her if she always does a background check on her potential date before a meeting. And I assume you told her you’re married and therefore need to be discreet. Any reasonable SB should understand that and give you some time before you’re comfortable giving out your personal info. As a married SD being discreet is a priority and you need to find SB’s who understand that.

  202. Va Gentleman says:

    Yikes ! Speaking as a married man There is NO possible way I would send identifying info to a complete stranger .
    If she does not understand the sensitive nature of this hobby/business then I would walk from her . Perhaps she needs to concentrate on single Daddys
    It is reasonable to meet in a public place and gain some trust with each other first . Information will flow after that .

  203. frank says:

    Good morning all.

    Need some more sugar advice. I am in process of looking for a sugar baby, and live in a small city where the babies are not plentiful. I have been corresponding with a pot for a few weeks, and we have been talking about meeting. We have been talking about meeting in a public place to see if we are compatible. All is good so far. Then suddenly she says she must have my full name and birth date so she can run a criminal check on me. This before we even meet. I am married and for that reason don’t want to give this info out until we at least meet so I know she is not some kind of nut.

    What do you think?

  204. Va Gentleman says:

    Move on TeaSB –as a SD I would not want my SB to not be into me . At some point it would begin to show .

    On the other hand , you could see each other a few times to see if an admiration and attraction will evolve. You know how we see people with very unlikely partners –sort of the beauty and the beast syndrome -and it works because of love and respect .

    e will grow on you . You know how it is –sometimes really homely peaople

  205. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    TeaSB – I agree with the others. What is mutually beneficial about being with someone just for the allowance? Find someone who interests you.

    Morning sugars! Welcome to all our international sbs!

  206. Enigma SD says:

    TeaSB — if you aren’t attracted to him, it is going to get old very quickly, and it isn’t going to be very fun for either one of you. I think it is best to look for a better match and not settle. It will be best for both you and him.

  207. Anna Molly says:

    I wouldn’t and couldn’t have an arrangement with someone I’m not attracted to. 🙂

  208. TeaSB says:

    I recently met with the SD Ive been talking to on here. Everything is great except he doesn’t exactly look like his pic. Maybe the photo is old but Im not attracted to him physically. Would you still have an arrangement?

  209. Cece says:

    I am a SB from London and I love SA. I travel frequently between London and Miami so I wanted a Miami based SD. I think that finding a serious trans-atlantic SD is almost impossible- people are very cautious. I don’t want an English SD- that’s boring. Plus I love an American accent.

  210. Enigma SD says:

    IrishSB — I never received your email — thanks for checking back — I made a special email address just for you — hopefully you will get this before it gets deleted – email me here and then I will give you my “real” email address…… ISBforme at hotmail dot com

    yeah — I know – great address huh? Talk soon!

    • SD Guru says:

      he basically said he was ending the arrangement. With no explanation!

      I’m sorry to hear about your situation. From what you described previously, it sounds like this was a new arrangement with a newbie SD. The first month went fine but the second month he didn’t provide the allowance on the 1st as agreed but you still had several meetings, and then you didn’t bring it up until the 11th.

      Remember trust is earned over time and not to be given lightly, so the lesson learned is that don’t get too comfortable in a new arrangement and make sure the SD does what he is supposed to do. When he did not provide the allowance on the 1st you should bring it up right away and not let it drag on. Another lesson learned is “don’t reward bad behavior.” You rewarded his bad behavior by continue to meet him even after he did not provide the allowance. Who knows how long he would have taken advantage of that if you didn’t bring it up?

      Obviously there is no excuse for his behavior, but in hindsight were there any warning signs that you might have missed?

      @Midwest SB
      but I will never advocate per visit arrangements. It’s a very fine line and I prefer the more traditional and “knight in shining armour” views of sugar.

      I’m sure every SB would love to have a white knight! But NJBaby’s example shows that even with a monthly allowance things can still go wrong. Which goes to show the quality of the SD could be more important than the type of arrangement.

  211. Va Gentleman says:

    NJBaby: So sorry you encountered a user and dishonorable SD . This is a good argument for the Pay as you go method that my baby and I have had success with . I always slip the cash in her wallet before kissing goodby in the morning . I try not to be obvious about it since I don’t want her to feel like an escort –which is far from the case for sure .

  212. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    NJBaby – So sorry. At least you got more paid down which is the ultimate goal. Hang in there. I hope you find another good one soon.

    I’m back on the job search….grrrrr. Thought I had a great opportunity in my hands. I may keep it as a part-time gig. Not sure yet.

    AM – Very cool!

    Guru – Perhaps, but I will never advocate per visit arrangements. It’s a very fine line and I prefer the more traditional and “knight in shining armour” views of sugar. 🙂

  213. NewYorkGirl says:

    Oh… Sorry NJbaby. 🙁 it is hard to understand if a person you do not know for too long sincere or he lies.

  214. Irish SB says:

    Hey Enigma did you get my email I thought I had right address!

  215. Enigma SD says:

    NJBaby — I was the one who recommended you text him. I am sorry he felt that was the proper way to end a sugar relationship. At least you found out before you were invested any more time in him. So sorry — * hugs * Unfortunately, there are others like him out there so it is best not to make any financial decisions until the money is in the bank.

  216. splash says:

    very much looking forward to the london party,unfortunately sorry to disappoint but most british men are stingy so send down the americans,british men love it cheap and minimal,thats just the way my brothers are,i need american sugar daddie

  217. NJbaby says:

    Sigh….not sure if anyone recalls, but my SD hadn’t acknowledged my allowance for this month…so I texted him (per the advice I was given) and he basically said he was ending the arrangement. With no explanation! Silly me doubled up on my loan payment for this month and am now out of luck until next week when my paycheck comes.

    Such a shame–I thought he was one of the genuine ones 🙁 So, my profile is back up! Sigh….

  218. prettyjess24 says:

    This looks like so much fun !! I would like to be there 🙂

  219. Anna Molly says:

    Morning Sugars! Hope all is well! 🙂

    Midwest – I found a Mallomar recipe! I’m going to try it out and let you know if its a good one then i’ll pass it on. 🙂

  220. Va Gentleman says:

    Re: SDGuru Thanks for the advice –I think you are correct . The end is inevitable at some point but I do crave the involvement . I did the meaningless sex thing for several years and it just wasn’t enough . But the end will be harder regardless of who wants out .

    You will hear it first here when it happens and maybe some of my new friends will help me find another Baby on SA .

  221. Kaya says:

    Midwest… I agree with you… I never start discussions about politics, religion or finances… but I usually finish them.. 🙂 I try very hard not to be rude or not to offend anyone. I just want some people to see that there are many sides to the story and only one is not always correct. However, I feel that if I have to be openminded to somebody elses opinions, than I would expect the same, and if they choose to be rude to me.. I will not just look down and take it.. If somebody asks me for my opinion.. they better be ready 🙂 But hey some people love it about me.. and some can’t stand it.. just life I guess. You can feed mans ego in many other ways, you don’t have to lie to him that you agree with him…

    Also, I am terrible sorry for my spelling and grammar misstakes… my excuse; English isn’t my first language… and when I type fast I don’t think much 🙂

    • SD Guru says:

      @Va Gent
      “Emotional involvement ” —I like it! It is what makes an arrangement a relationship. Tell me what you all think about that.
      my incentive to see my Baby is that I am absolutely smitten by her and can’t get enough of her.
      Exit Strategy –What exit ? lol No –that subject hasn’t come up.

      You’ve made some interesting statements that I’d like to comment on. I assume you’re a married SD, and this is the first SB that you can’t get enough of. It’s not clear how long you’ve been in your sugar relationship and I assume it hasn’t been very long.

      Naturally no one thinks about the end when they enter a relationship. But the fact is that most relationships come to an end for whatever reason, especially the NSA sugar type. In general a sugar relationship is supposed to serve a purpose at a point in time and it’s not meant to last. Therefore I’d suggest that you give some thought to how to handle the end of the relationship, because it will probably happen sooner than you expect.

      As for emotional involvement, one of my golden rules is “don’t get emotionally attached, especially for a married man.” I have learned this the hard way as described in my blog. Enjoy the sugar relationship for what it is and set clear emotional boundaries so that you don’t end up going down a slippery slope.

      I was wondering; Why not get prepaid Visa gift cards? After all you can use it anywhere and it is not taxed

      It depends on the situation. Gift cards can be useful for hundreds of dollars, but it may get complicated for higher dollar amounts. And you can’t pay rent with a gift card! 🙂

      @Midwest SB
      I think Va Gent’s example of how a per visit can work for both is finally one that I can agree with.

      Myself and others have been saying that while a per visit arrangement is not for everyone, it could work in certain situations. It took Va Gent’s example to finally convince you that not all per visit arrangements are bad! 😛

      @Enigma SD
      I actually have mixed feelings on the exit strategy-severance package idea… let’s say she ends the relationship, it isn’t like she owes me 1-2 months of free sex to tide me over

      I like the way you think, next time I’ll try to negotiate a severance package of free sex from my SB’s! :mrgreen:

  222. Anna Molly says:

    Sigh….I’m tired and have nothing interesting to say..

  223. Va Gentleman says:

    Cougarlicious —-you and I have had diarrhea of the keyboard today LOL

  224. Va Gentleman says:

    Sorry for the posting hemorrhage . I recently found this site and love the catharsis. I’ll be better in the future .

  225. Va Gentleman says:

    “long distance Sugar” –would not work for me ever except for an occasional booty call

    “severance” –smacks of alimony so I don’t like it . If my baby moves out of range then I would still see her as often as I could

    “taxes”–why go there if you can avoid it ? Cash is king. If a SB deposits it in the bank then the IRS has access to the information and she might get dinged in an audit . So she should talk to her accountant .

    “easy replacement ” –not ! I said earlier that there are a lot of women to pick from –well ,there are also a lot of guys as well . It took me 3 years of floundering around various sites to finally find my dream girl. So finding that ideal arrangement is part hard work and part luck ,and takes time . So really be picky but hang on to that good sugar when you find it . Like any relationship it takes communication and compromise . It’s always greener on the other side , but you still have to cut the grass .

    “Emotional involvement ” —I like it ! It is what makes an arrangement a relationship. Tell me what you all think about that .

  226. Va Gentleman says:

    “Do SD want somebody intelligent or somebody that will simply smile and agree with the entire BS they feed them…”
    Kaya , I absolutely need and appreciate my Baby’s brain and opinions . She is a whole lot smarter than I am . I prefer a low key discussion rather than an in your face heated take no prisoners arguement . I can get that at home and get a earful of preaching regularly ,so it’s nice to hear a smart and informed point of view without rancor. One of the many reasons we SDs are here is to get a break from the angst and drama that we deal with at home . Perhaps if we were all better at respectful disagreement that doesn’t kill the messenger we would have more stable long term relationships .

  227. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Sheesh…I’ve posted more today than I have in months. Home with a sick gent-to-be. 🙁

  228. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Enigma – . \m/ Ditto

    Kaya – I love a healthy debate. My former SD and I would have some great talks and he truly did appreciate my (ahem…strong) opinions. We did hit a glitch once when he asked a delicate question and I gave him a truthful answer (at first I declined to answer). It was one of those “be careful what you ask for” moments. It take so much screening to find a genuine SD, then a little more to find one with the qualities you enjoy the most. All that said, it never hurts to feed a man’s ego along with asserting your thoughts.

  229. Irish SB says:

    Enigma i dont but im going to guess it! If i dont the gods will have to save me! Snap on the stalker btw!!

  230. Kaya says:

    Yes I agree… i loove talking to people that have a different point of view and all I ask for is to respect my opinion instead of attacking me, and be open to new ideas. I would never tell somebody that they are brainwashed … I simply ask them to back their arguments back… How can you grow as a person if you can’t defend your beliefs… 😛

  231. Enigma SD says:

    edit * not presented in a confrontational manner *

  232. Enigma SD says:

    Kaya — I always appreciate another person’s perspective no matter how wrong it may be (jk)
    I prefer someone that is intelligent and has their own opinions (as long as they are presented in a confrontational manner). I am very left-brained and tend to be attracted to right-brained, intelligent women…. For example, Midwest and I always don’t agree but I respect and enjoy her viewpoints 🙂

  233. Kaya says:

    I think there is no perfect agreement that would work for anybody…each partnership will be unique and have unique terms… that is why it is soo important to talk about each other’s expectations and desires before the initial meeting. I believe that it should be SD’s responsibility to bring up the financial side of the agreement so that the SB does not have to bring it up and seem “greedy”… I have never brought up finances until the SD did, and even if he did… we roughly discussed what we’re looking for but the details we would always discuss after the first meeting. When it comes to finances, I was wondering; Why not get prepaid Visa gift cards? After all you can use it anywhere and it is not taxed 🙂 The fee is no more than using a debit cards … I love to keep cash around the house too, as I use foreign banks and sometimes it is easier that way. Antiques and collectable are also a great investment… and you don’t have to tax it: P

    Now changing the subject I wanted to bring something up that I have noticed and I am interesting to hear your thoughts. Many of gentlemen that write to me stress that they are looking for somebody intelligent, open-minded and that likes to have fun (of course referring to sex). I do not consider myself a genius, but I love to discuss and debate about topics I am passionate about… and listen to different points of view and hopefully learn from them. I have talked to several men, and I just realized that they do not want somebody that’s intelligent and open-minded… but somebody that will agree with “their truth” and keep complementing them how smart they are. I am sorry… No money will ever make me agree with somebody for agreeing sake… or for them to like me… One of the gentlemen told me I was brainwashed, so I asked him to define the term he was arguing about… he logged out, I hope he was embarrassed too. So now the question is… Do SD want somebody intelligent or somebody that will simply smile and agree with the entire BS they feed them…

  234. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Enigma –
    let’s say she ends the relationship, it isn’t like she owes me 1-2 months of free sex to tide me over –
    Hahaha…she really should wait until the end of the arrangement, to be honest. Additionally, it will take you no more than a few weeks to a month to replace her whereas it takes much longer to find a genuine SD. It’s more of a thoughtful gesture…particularly in per visit arrangements where the SB has no idea when or if she will see her SD again. No one is saying severance is “owed”. It tends to fall into that “mutually beneficial” category IMHO. I was mostly interested in what others think. BTW – I’ve always appreciated your version of an arrangement. 🙂

    It is ultimately up to the SB to manage her finances and be prepared for a sudden ending. Most of us who have enjoyed a monthly allowance can appreciate what a difference it makes in reaching your goals. I’m so glad I saved mine as it has enabled me to get through twelve months of school with just a little stretch at the times when emergencies caused a hit.

    I think Va Gent’s example of how a per visit can work for both is finally one that I can agree with. She uses the money for play…not for anything in particular, so it’s less of an impact should it end. He has also been genuine about his arrangement which seems to be rare in per visit. Kudos to them and they seem quite happy.

  235. Enigma SD says:

    Midwest/Guru — I actually have mixed feelings on the exit strategy-severance package idea. I have never talked about an ending to a relationship when I was happy. I have given around $500 when it ended, but not much more and certainly not 1-2 months allowance which has been tossed around here in the past. A few times I got hit up for a few hundred a couple of months after it ended, and I obliged (these same women have gone to dinner with me after it ended with no compensation so no I didn’t feel used). The thing that causes the most consternation…. let’s say she ends the relationship, it isn’t like she owes me 1-2 months of free sex to tide me over – right? So why does the SD owe the SB one-two months of allowance other than it is a nice thing to do. Harder to go without sex or income — tough call huh? 😉

  236. Anna Molly says:

    Hey everyone! 🙂

  237. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Va Gent’s reply:

    Va Gentleman
    November 15, 2011 at 9:37 am

    Hi all again !

    Thanks for your interest in my comments

    Cougarlicious : my incentive to see my Baby is that I am absolutely smitten by her and can’t get enough of her. We did discuss the overall plan to see each other at least once/week and my goal is twice . I would do more if I could get away more . While she has no “guarantee” I know she is getting financial help from home as she is still in her parent’s circle of influence . The extra cash is just play money for her . I also give her gifts,dine out ,take her to spas ,etc. Probably she will net $25000 untaxed income ,which translates to $38500 if she were reporting it . Not bad for a college girl in grad school . The key is she acts appreciative ,does not seem to be greedy or desperate , and acts happy with me . The key for me is that she treats me like I am the hottest guy she has ever seen and loves being with me .

    Exit Strategy –What exit ? lol No –that subject hasn’t come up . She moved once a little farther away and I think her plan was to have some help until she moved . We didn’t skip a beat and we are happy.

    Budget ? She is saving for grad school–and she shops with some of it . She is not a shopaholic -yet -and seems to have fairly simple but classy needs . I am helping expand her horizons I think . If we stop seeing each other -we stop . I don’t even want to think about it .

  238. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Guru – I always appreciate your perspective, but also look forward to hearing all perspectives.

    I realize the SD is not responsible for what the SB does with her allowance, nor is he responsible for providing for her once the arrangement ends. However, it is considerate to realize that, whatever her goal, it helps to allow for an exit plan. She can seek a new arrangement or at least plan on not having the extra allowance she may become accustomed to.

    Per visit arrangements leave the SB at a disadvantage as it is as much up to him as it is up to her to be motivated to see one another. So…if there are plenty of women (as he mentioned), then he is not motivated to see her more than once or twice. That doesn’t really make for an “arrangement” in my personal opinion. Va Gentleman seems like the kind of man who would consider those things, so I’m just curious to see what his take is.

  239. Enigma SD says:

    Irish SB – I had a stalker on here that would send me emails whenever I posted so I took a break and changed monikers. I can’t find your old email address 🙁 if you have mine, send me an email or Blog Gods — can you send Irish SB my email address — I have a huge piece of very juicy gossip that you missed 🙂

  240. Michael Alleycat says:

    @SD Guru – I think it was the new #1 …. she is back from her WHO gig, so kick-off is this Saturday!

    We have actually been talking since early in the year – March I think – but we were never able to make it happen until now. For this of you who have good memories – SD Guru, consult your spreadsheet – she had a profile photo of her in what looked like a wedding dress, and was wearing a ring. I asked her about it, and turns out she was modelling to help a friend who owns a bridal shop.

    Another beautiful day in Phoenix – 73 today!!

  241. Irish SB says:

    Enigma…. I like it! I was about to shout out your old name but caught myself:)

  242. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Hey Kindred! The tax burden is on the SD fully. I think that anything over 15K per year (per person?) is when they have to start reporting gifts, but you need to talk to an accountant. If you go on payroll, it’s reportable income on your part…or he can stick you with a W-9. Either way, it doesn’t make sense.

    • SD Guru says:

      I’m commenting on some of the entries in the previous topic here to bring those convos to the latest blog post.

      If we does not do as he promises theoretically i can hurt him (spoil his reputation). so he thinks I would trust him since I have this leverage (know his identity).

      Even if you have the leverage to hurt his reputation, is that something you’d actually want to do and drag your name through all that drama publicly? Be very careful of what you wish for!

      @Kindred Spirit
      I’m confused as to if we SBs do have to pay some sort of tax AS IT IS, without any offical payroll involved…

      The question of whether a SB has to pay taxes on her allowance has come up from time to time. Take a look at some of the previous discussions here, here, and here.

      I am about to kick off a new SB who lives one state across…

      Is she the new #1 or #2? Yes I need to keep my spreadsheet updated! :mrgreen:

      @Midwest SB & Va Gentleman

      That’s an interesting discussion in the previous topic. I can see both sides so I’ll jump in here with my comments.

      I am a relatively new SD with a baby 40 yrs younger and we are having a wonderful time together… Re: sugar -we do it by the visit , since she has an incentive to see me more

      Congrats on your sugar relationship! When there is such a large age gap the financial incentive usually plays a bigger role in keeping the arrangement going. Therefore I can see the need to give her the incentive to see you more.

      Did you two arrange an “exit plan” for when the arrangement ends? If not, does she budget or will she be prepared to go without sugar abruptly?

      Whether the arrangement is based on monthly allowance or by the visit may not have a direct impact on what the exit plan is. When the arrangement ends it’s up to the SD and SB to discuss and agree on whether there will be a “severance” package to help the SB transition.

      Would you want a woman to sleep with you because of competition or because she really wanted to?

      Obviously the answer is because she really wanted to. However, given the large age gap in Va Gentleman’s situation, the incentive and the competition can play a larger role.

  243. Kindred Spirit says:

    Hi Midwest, and other fellow bloggers! I have a question from the previous blog:
    Midwest, when asking questions for an SB to think about if going on an SD’s payroll, one question you had for her was, “Do you really want to pay taxes on your allowance?”

    I’m confused as to if we SBs do have to pay some sort of tax AS IT IS, without any offical payroll involved. I mean, sometimes large amounts are just more easily handled by putting into one’s bank account.
    Let’s say an SD wants to give an SB around 10 grand. They go to her bank and he writes out a check made out to her of that amount and she deposits it into her account. There may not be any questions asked by the bank employee, but would a red flag of some sort arise?

    Therefore, is this something the SB should include in her taxes as income, under “gifts”? If so, is there then some sort of tax payment involved to the IRS (like a couple hundred, I have no idea)?

    I’ve read the segment about “Legal Matters” over to the side, but still this is not clear to me. Same with receiving a few thousand every month from an SD and it’s deposited in her direct deposit. What would she need to do to handle any reporting when it came to tax time? Simply put 12 grand under the “gifts” category and call it good?

    You can say to not use a bank account for any of it, but honestly if an SB is being highly pampered having tons of cash around is rather ridiculous if you want to invest/save. There’s no way to invest/put into savings without putting into some bank account, therefore possibly raising suspicions of this “unearned income”, per se (“earned income” regarding work wages only).

    By the way, no assuming I’m describing myself as this highly pampered (I wish, haha!), but it gives me pause and something to think about, and maybe if some of you could help clarify this for me it’d be greatly appreciated. Sorry if this has been explained before in a previous blog….

    Much luv and blog-friendship! 🙂

  244. semi-newbie says:

    One interesting observation on the Dailymail article linked above, there was a translated piece on a major chinese news website that I came across. There is the link, http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/language_tips/news/2011-10/31/content_14009303.htm
    Most of the translation was accurate, except the headline was translated as “the Pimp party” rather than “the sugar daddy party”.
    Although I’m not looking for a SD right now, I had wanted to go the last NYC party just to check it out. I am glad that I did not. If I had ended up with my photo all over mainstream Chinese media under such a headline, my parents would have killed me.

  245. DallasBaby says:

    Michael Alleycat – I seriously doubt she would freak out if you bought her nice presents, in fact it is the nice thing to do if she is giving you booty calls !

  246. NewYorkGirl says:

    It is fun. How you can joke about test drive. For me it is a deal breaker this week. I wish someone can negotiate for me. 🙁
    Thanks for all the advices, I must not go on test drive. I got it.
    The fun part is after we met for coffee he deleted his ad, told me about it (meaning he decided to be only with me).

  247. Anna Molly says:

    Awww, a new blogmance….how sweet! 😉

    Irish SB – He is a Sweetie indeed! 🙂

  248. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Enigma – as long as you are gentle with me, and promise not to fall in love…..

  249. Enigma SD says:

    Michael — I would love to have you as my travel SB as long as I get a free test drive. I will gladly reimburse you for your travel expenses after the test drive 😉

  250. UK Curves says:

    I hope it brings in some real British SDs or people who are more open minded about UK SBs. Only recently I had a ‘wannabe’ SD react badly to the fact I would expect an allowance.

  251. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Midwest – my IRL booty call would FREAK if I starting moving it towards an arrangement, quite conservative. I talked about it in general terms “I was google’ing the best dating sites, and you wouldn’t believe this web site that came up!!!” lol

    Long distance is difficult, unless you regularly travel to the same place. I don’t travel very much, and if I do it is generally day trips to different locations. I have a long distance SB in LA, we get together every couple of months, its just difficult to coordinate schedules, but we have been seeing each other for 18 months or so now, but it is very occasional.

    I am about to kick off a new SB who lives one state across, again it is a bit of an problem with schedules but we enjoy each other’s company, she has big life goals etc so I am very curious to see how it goes.

    And yes I have 2 passports, if someone wants to make me an offer….

  252. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    JennyMae – I wouldn’t take it personally. To many, a long distance arrangement sounds like a good idea and attainable until they start to look at their schedules, the costs involved, etc. It requires a great deal of planning and expense which tends to be less convenient than local arrangements. It also means spending more time at once vs weekly dates of a few hours or an overnight which depends on your personal preference. My long distance arrangements required a lot of planning and sometimes we wouldn’t be able to see one another each month. Factor in weather and unexpected surprises and it can get a little daunting. The plus side is we would spend 3-4 days together at a time (like mini-vacations) with a chance to plan some wonderful adventures!

  253. Enigma SD says:

    I think many know I met an blogger SB from the England and she traveled with me around Europe on business for a long week. I think trans-Atlantic might work but it would have to be more like quarterly visits for me. I think the English and French accents are ohhh sooo sexy and yes I do have a passport.

  254. JennyMae says:

    Good afternoon all !

    I have a passport already , and Ive been to London and LOVED it ! I would completley consider a tranatlantic arrangement . Ive actually traditionally dated 3 guys from England , and they have a great sense of humor and I honestly love the conversations and the time Ive spent with them . So what not try a sugar relationship ? I have contacted maybe 2 or 3 SDs from London , and we chatted and they found me very attractive and were interested and then disappear . So Im wondering if they see the Atlantic Ocean as a dealbreaker ? It definately not for me ! 🙂

  255. Enigma SD says:

    Hey IrishSB! long time no see – we used to email often (I had a different nickname but think Southeastern US). I wondered where you went – I hope all is well with you and welcome back!

  256. Irish SB says:

    Fellow SBs i am doing great!! Fell head over heels IRL so I drifted away from the site. Loving reading the blogs again loads of changes!! Im playing catch up! Blog list?!

    Anna M you seem really happy is he lovely!

    SA has popped up in various mediums here and I was like errr i knew about this two years ago!!! Haha its been a while!

  257. Anna Molly says:

    Hey Irish SB! How are you? It’s been a long time!

  258. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Hey Irish SB!!! How has the world been treating you?

  259. Irish SB says:

    Well well well well!!

    Seen SA in the news and realised I missed the blog!! Midwest how are you! Partner in crime Anna Polly long time no hear!! 🙂

    Miss you guys

  260. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Morning sugars! If you don’t have your passport…get it now!!!

    I’d consider a trans-Atlantic arrangement! My long distance arrangements have worked out nicely and now I have even more control over my schedule. I’ve always wanted to travel overseas…particularly Italy. I know the metropolitan SBs would have a great shot at this since there are many foreign SDs who travel to NYC and LA on a regular basis, so you could meet once a month in the US and once a month in the SDs country. You have to screen even more carefully and use every precaution in this scenario as it would be a disaster to get stuck in a foreign country without any help.

    Brandon – is the rooftop party going to be heated or covered in some way? Great idea, but you do want the ladies to dress sexy and not have to wear a coat 🙂 Please make sure WSPA doesn’t get in. I’ve been thinking about getting to NYC for December…perhaps this is a little added incentive.

    Michael – Glad you like it! Just curious…if you get along so well, wouldn’t she make a great SB? She practically is, but isn’t necessarily reaping the added benefits (or is she?).

  261. SugarBrat says:

    If I had a UK accent, I’d never shut up.

  262. Anna Molly says:

    What do I find most sexy? The accent of course! 😉

  263. Michael Alleycat says:


  264. NewYorkGirl says:

    I would think The UK sugar daddy’s less spoiled than the USA’ ones. 🙂
    I mean the UK SDs might be more serious and are not players or picture collectors (or they might be but to the less extend).

  265. SA Moderator Team says:

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