8 years ago
The Allure of the Coed


It’s no secret that we love our co-ed Sugar Babies at SeekingArrangement.com. College babies are young, interesting and intelligent- and therefore in high demand! Sugar Daddies want to date beautiful girls who are sharp-tongued and quick-witted, with maybe just a streak of innocence. College Sugar Babies provide that certain allure, and our Sugar Daddies are ready to foot the bill just to be around them. With the cost of tuition continuing to rise and the number of opportunities in the post-grad world diminishing, it’s an attractive alternative to taking out a student loan.

So, it should be no surprise that student Sugar Babies are our fastest growing demographic, and we welcome all co-eds with open arms! In fact, we offer all Sugar Babies attending classes at an accredited university a free premium membership if you register with your school email address (.edu or other). So, if you haven’t signed up with your college email address yet, you are missing out on some great benefits! (Sign up below!)

Last week we released a list of the top 20 universities with the fastest growing numbers of Sugar Babies, and the phone has been ringing off the hook! Student journalists are in disbelief that their college–their peers– have made our list. We have seen articles crop up at the majority of the schools we listed in our top 20, with interviews from students on campus asking “How dare they?” and “Really, is that legal?” Meanwhile our Sugar Babies are laughing all the way to the bank.

Not only are they dating wealthy men (or women) who help pay for their tuition, but they are also traveling abroad, finding mentors and gaining valuable experience their peers will never have the chance to obtain.  While their fellow classmates are preparing their cover letters and working out their repayment plans, our Sugar Babies are getting job offers and graduating debt free. For some Sugar Babies, the sugar lifestyle is a temporary phase, and for others, it’s a permanent way of life. Everyone is here for a different reason, and college sugar babies are no different.


Everybody is so intrigued by this college student down-on-her-luck angle. Most colleges can not believe that a student would resort to this kind of behavior in order to pay their tuition. Obviously, the term “Sugar Baby” leaves a foul taste in their mouths and we have been working hard to correct their misguided perceptions of the sugar lifestyle. We were recently featured on ABC NEWS 20/20, a segment on Sugar Babies turning to the sugar lifestyle to help pay for the rising cost of their college tuition. Christine Morris, a 24 year old college student and aspiring musician, was interviewed on camera about her experiences as a Sugar Baby. She admits that she turned to SeekingArrangement.com after maxing out her line of credit on her student loans, and realizing her part time jobs were not going to cover her $10,000 a semester tuition.

College Sugar Babies make up approximately 40% of our Sugar Baby members. New York University is our number one school, but with tuition at $41,000 a year, is any one really surprised? That doesn’t even include room and board, much less the cost of dating and entertainment in New York City.  At only a fraction of the cost, the University of South Florida clocks in at number 7, with two other major Florida universities making our top 20. If you have been following economic news, this shouldn’t be too shocking of a discovery. Florida tops all the worst economy lists with a 10% unemployment rate and the highest foreclosure rate in the country. I imagine many families are struggling to survive, and sending their children off to college is no longer in their budgets.

The same can be said for Georgia, with both Georgia State University and the University of Georgia  in our top 10. Georgia was also hit hard during the recession, largely due to cutbacks at thousands of multinational companies headquartered there, including several Fortune 500 companies. If you compare our list with worst state economy lists and combine it with the trend of  increasing tuition rates, no one should be surprised with these results.

But what some people seem to always assume, or perhaps misunderstand, is that this is not a last resort. This is a  preferred lifestyle. It’s a relationship in some form, not an unsavory business proposition.  They forget that we are all adults and at the end of the day we choose to be here. There are hundreds of other ways to make money, this isn’t a job or a solution to a problem, it’s a way of life. No one is forcing you to be here, the door is right there you can leave anytime you want. (But why would you want to?)

In my eyes, college Sugar Babies are just ahead of the curve. They are getting the best of both worlds by dating outside their means, and allowing themselves to be free of the constraints that would normally confine them. I see nothing wrong with going after what you want and turning dreams and hard work into a preferred reality. I mean, who wouldn’t want to arrange the perfect set of circumstances if it were possible? 

College Sugar Babies: What opportunities and experiences have you obtained from your sugar relationship?

Sugar Daddies: How do you feel about college Sugar Babies? Have you supported a Sugar Baby student?

How has the economy impacted your sugar relationship?


Leave a Reply

881 Responses to “The Allure of the Coed”

  1. DorkyGuy says:

    Hey Bella, I don’t think SA actively monitors the blog. You need to contact their support department.

    After you log in, in the top right of the screen right next to the “Log Out” button is a button called “Support”. On that screen is a way for you to create a customer support ticket to get it corrected.

  2. Bella says:

    Hi I hope someone can help. I updated my email to my college email because I wanted the free premium membership for college sb’s.. Nothing updated and I didnt see any way to change my profile besides updating the email. ?????????????????????????????/

  3. Lexi says:

    I am an SB but I didn’t sign up as a College SB initially. Is there a way to change it without making a whole new profile?

  4. meg says:

    “None of you know how many roommates I have. Period.”

    “Think even harder before you throw a flame – that sounds a lot like burning witches at the stake. ”

    Absolutely. You also don’t know whether or not I am still an escort or whether or not I am a ‘writer.’ And by the way, a lot of colleges do have a pre-med undergraduate major or concentration. A lot of colleges also have an undergraduate pre-law major or concentration. (mine doesn’t…it actually doesn’t have anything very practical at all…but that’s a whole other subject…) Doesn’t matter…but just saying that we all make assumptions. 🙂

    I think you’re clever and witty and I really enjoy reading your posts. And a lot of others do as well!! Clearly, you’re attractive, articulate, and funny…which is why you were selected by SA as a media representative!

    I don’t think singling anyone out is ever fair! But blogs are clique-ey, you develop a reputation very quickly based on text (so all of the voice-tone/body-language/facial gesture bits are left out)and people are quick to judge and honestly, there’s really not that much info to judge from. So it’s never totally personal…


  5. DorkyGuy says:

    @SarahSweetheart~ Brandon has posted a new blog topic, and everyone is commenting under that new topic… Most won’t come back to this topic and won’t see your comments. I suggest reposting there.

  6. SarahSweetheart says:

    hmmmm….I wonder how many different names Midwest posted under. The list is growing.

    So many spankings … So little time!

    Why you would ‘volunteer’ to do a full-time job for a For-Profit Business as opposed to a Non-Profit?…I will never understand.

    Do I think that Midwest should have been ‘outed’ as @bloggod? No. Because what happens in a company is ultimately the responsibility of the owner.

    Midwest, as I have said before, you have given some sound advice.

    Who’s throwing the flames? Think hard about that one.

    Think even harder before you throw a flame – that sounds a lot like burning witches at the stake.

    “Seems like it’s time for a little updating” … said the new feminist to the old feminist.

    FACT: None of you know how many roommates I have. Period.

  7. SarahSweetheart says:

    This is hilarious!

  8. Midwest SB says:

    Thank you SouthernCharmSB and nwsugarbaby. It means a lot!

    New topic! ———->

  9. DaddyGT says:


    @everyone- how do you approach your sugar daddy about you knowing that he created another profile to pick up on more sugar babies. he doesn’t even give me a good allowance. im not trying to be ungrateful or mean, but i feel ripped off. I am only in an arrangement with him.

    You don’t. Not unless his monogamy or a one-SB policy was part of your arrangement. Sugar is supposed to be NSA and drama free for the most part, no? And in my book, a SB sweating me about flirting or membership on Site X or Site Y definitely falls into the drama category.

    There’s not much you can do about it. I realise it might be difficult, but try and keep matters separate. If you are unhappy about your allowance, you should be unhappy, whether you think your SD might be shopping for additional SBs or not. Renegotiate your allowance if you must.

    And who knows what your SD is thinking. You might only be seeing him twice per week, and he wants someone else to do another two days per week. Would you be available to double the amount of time you see him for double the allowance? Maybe he just likes variety and is like many people, is polyamorous without actually admitting to be one.

    And maybe, just maybe, he is looking to replace you. Not the best situation to be in, but these things happen.

    Having thought about it a bit more since starting this post. Your best bet is probably to have an “updates chat”. Find out if he is happy with the arrangement. Find out if there is anything *you* could do, or could be doing to make the arrangement work better for *him*.

    If he is anything of a gentleman, he too will want you to air your concerns, in order to improve what he can on his end to make your experience better. If he doesn’t reciprocate, I wouldn’t press it by complaining, but would start shopping for a replacement SD very quickly.

    Talks like this are best when people can be brutally honest with each other. Not pleasant sometimes, but great, and necessary to keep the fires stoked, and to ensure that everyone is as happy as the other person can make them.

  10. Nwsugarbaby says:

    @Midwest thank you so much for everything you can have given me as a newer sb. I now know so much that i wish i would have known weeks ago.

    @everyone- how do you approach your sugar daddy about you knowing that he created another profile to pick up on more sugar babies. he doesn’t even give me a good allowance. im not trying to be ungrateful or mean, but i feel ripped off. I am only in an arrangement with him.

    @ tintin and blog moderators I would love to have your email/ give you my email.

  11. SouthernCharmSB says:

    Where’s the thumbs up emoticon when you need it??? @SDinLA and @Dorky deserve a standing ovation for the above comments!

    @Midwest – I have benefited and learned from your posts in so many ways and know for a fact that this blog would not be the same without you. We – as in the sugars who are here to actively learn, participate, and contribute to the blog in a constructive manner – want our “MOTB” to be around for many years to come! Hope you get some serious R&R this weekend and return to the blog in full Midwest mode! 🙂

  12. ContentSB says:

    @Midwest, DG, SDinLA — Right now I think I have a crush on all 3 of you! lol 🙂 DG & SDinLA for their alpha-maleness and Midwest for being as calm as ever! 🙂

  13. Midwest SB says:

    DG – He is soooooo crushworthy….run with it!

    Sugar dreams!

  14. DorkyGuy says:

    @Midwest~ yeah, me too… I kind of have a guy crush

  15. Midwest SB says:

    SDinLA – I hope I never see that flamethrower on high 🙂

  16. Midwest SB says:

    Awwwww…thanks DorkyGuy, SDinLA and ContentSB. I genuinely appreciate the kind words. It’s frustrating that I’m losing sleep over something like this, but that’s just who I am. Meanwhile, I’m going to get some serious family tine this weekend. (((hugs)))

  17. ContentSB says:

    @SDinLA and @DorkyGuy — *Stands up*…*clap, clap, clap…* Well said, gents!

    @Midwest — As someone still relatively new to the blog, I appreciate how welcome you’ve made me feel as well as the solid advice you’ve given me and many other SBs (and even SDs!). You’re wonderful!!

  18. DorkyGuy says:

    @SDinLA~ completely agree. Good lord, how long has MW been contributing to this community? Especially to the new SBs? It would be absolutely tragic if this discouraged her to the point she stopped participating.

    @Midwest~ Much faith, support, and profound appreciation….

  19. SDinLA says:

    @Sybil with the many personalities

    Spare us all the BS about the “many roommates on one computer” or your doing it for “personal security reasons.” You did NOT change your blog name to try and be more anonymous, although it’s not like “SarahSweetheart” identifies you in any way. You have been making posts as 4-5 (or who knows how many) different individuals, at one point in this blog I think you were even responding to your own posts under different names.

    I don’t know why you feel the need to do this, but it is selfish and narcissistic to believe that it is OK for you to do whatever you please on here and disrespectful in the extreme to everyone else who reads and posts on this blog. Please stop. Or seek help.

    Brandon, maybe it’s time to require log ins for the blog, this is ridiculous.

    You can add a second “handle” for me, PissedOffSDinLA

  20. SDinLA says:


    Um. Wow. Where to begin. You’re new here, so I guess that means I should keep the flamethrower on low.

    Regardless of whom the “official” representatives of SA are, this blog as a community has thrived for a long time under Stephan’s oversight, with an occasional comment from Our Dear Leader Brandon, AND the crucial assistance of several volunteers over the years that have helped exchange email addresses and been a very restrained “voice of reason” when individual posters show up and don’t respect other people’s presence and rights on this blog.

    In addition to her previously unannounced duties as a moderator here, Midwest SB has been welcoming newcomers, providing her calm and reasoned guidance and making this blog a more welcoming place for as long as I’ve been reading it, about 2 years now I think.

    We’ve had a few “drama queens” post here before, using multiple aliases and generally making the blog unreadable for all. I honestly don’t have any issues with the comments the person Midwest “outed” has been posting, under any or all of her aliases, BUT I don’t think it’s good blog etiquette or very respectful of all of the other members of this community to be posting under 4/5 handles and not being honest about it, frankly it’s just rude.

    I personally was glad Midwest did what she did- sometimes when somebody is being rude, you need to call them on it. Whatever fuss that person then raised about “not coming back here anymore” yadda yadda just goes to show who the drama queen is and it’s certainly not Midwest.

    To be honest, this heavy handed and IMHO completely misguided response will do nothing but cause thoughtful, considerate members of this blog to think twice about participating.

    I wasn’t sure why I came back to check this place out again last week after I think Guru said was 7 months not posting here, but now I know that karma brought me back here to stand up for Midwest SB and to ask you to reconsider how this entire tawdry affair was handled.

    This wasn’t caused by Midwest. It was caused by someone showing a complete lack of respect for the other participants of this blog, and your pandering to her temper tantrum is pathetic,

    Stephan, where are you? Come back. The blog misses you.

  21. DorkyGuy says:

    @TinTin~ I would love some banana bread!

  22. DorkyGuy says:

    For what it’s worth…

    When someone has been supporting your company through volunteer effort, you back them up, even if you disagree with their call. It is very poor judgement to undercut and possibly humiliate the people who give selflessly of their time to support you.

    To publicly reprimand MW was just ridiculous. I don’t even publicly reprimand my employees. If you disagree with how someone handles something, you handle that privately, and discuss in an adult fashion how it should be handled in the future. But publicly, in front of the world, you back them up.

  23. Midwest SB says:

    TinTinSB – JennSA will be happy to exchange your e-mail. It’s always fun to have a fellow sb to share your experiences.

  24. TinTinSB says:

    Just got back from the nickel arcade. Now I’m waiting for my chocolate banana bread to finish baking. It already smells delicious, yum! Now I just need a proper SD to give me an excuse to bake more decadent treats for someone. Any volunteer tasters? 😛

    Re: Privacy Thank you for the help everyone. I agree, it would be odd to be involved with someone who I didn’t trust with some information about myself at least 🙂 I think that as a compromise I’m going to be slightly more reserved with information in e-mails, etc. then I have been. Leave all of the identifying (good) surprises for the in person meets 😉

    @ blog gods I really appreciate all of the work you do. I know that moderation really isn’t an easy balancing act, and it’s nice for you all to volunteer your time as such. If you haven’t already, can I request that nwsugarbaby gets my e-mail? It would be nice to have a fellow sb to speak with in my corner of the world 🙂

    Re: Positions I don’t know why, but I have never been able to get the hang of cowgirl (or reverse!) It’s frustrating that it’s so difficult for me, makes me feel a bit inferior. I have a lot of flexibility, so I love all of the lotus positions and everything crazy contortion. My favorite is actually contorted suspensions. Now those are comfortable and simple and imho sexy! 🙂

    I hope that everyone is having a great night!

  25. Midwest SB says:

    This is so silly.

    I have been volunteering my time to SA as one of the “blog gods” for almost a year. I preferred to remain anonymous because I didn’t want people to treat me any differently. I can certainly spend my time elsewhere. Thank you for letting me volunteer my time. One cannot access the blog comments and e-mails without the blessing of Brandon, Stephan, et al. JennSA is new and needs to fill some amazing shoes. I’m sure she will do a great job. I wish her well.

    As for Sarah (et al), I was trying to protect the interests of everyone involved and meant to use good judgment for the sake of everyone involved, not just one member. As for personal safety…it’s a public blog. Changing your name doesn’t offer any more protection than keeping one name. Or was it that you have multiple roommates. Maybe it is both. Posting your profile ID as you did for some time will definitely not provide any safety. BTW – I was the one who proactively took the tine to edit 40 plus comments to remove your profile ID when you were disturbed by someone’s post about personal safety and you disappeared. I felt it was handled with tact and even a little humor, however Sarah (et al) did not agree or find it humorous.

    JennSA – Pardon me for overstepping your boundaries. I know you are looking for sound representatives of SA for future promotions. I’m sure you will protect her identity and safety. Good luck – I’m sure you’ll be great. .

  26. DaddyGT says:


    Doesn’t @blog gods have access to email addresses?

    Given what @JennSA posted, I strongly doubt that the person who posted as blog gods has access to anything. I think he/she was just fishing, and trying to stir the pot. Or as they say on the intarwebs, trolling. Technically, anyone can post here with ‘blog gods’ as their moniker.

    What Brandon and JennSA might want to do, is change the CSS for the comments, so logged in / authoritative users have a different colour/background, like you see on many other blogs. It is a very trivial way of highlighting comments from the genuine blog owners/management.

    @English Rose
    Given my recently cancelled trip, I think I’ll stay away from London till you guys thaw out a bit. Hahaha

  27. SarahSweetheart says:

    @JennSA – It was nice talking with you today on the phone. Regardless of the outcome, I appreciate our conversation. You are very bright! It’s pleasant to hear an approachable female voice associated with this website. And it actually made me smile when you shared about the opportunity that you were given in going to work for Brandon. After our conversation I think you have a good idea about who I am and “where I’m coming from.” etc. I may be ‘Controversial’, but my head/heart is in the right place 😉 Have a great weekend, yourself!

  28. SarahSweetheart says:

    Ha! email LOL…e-mail doesn’t mean sh!t…neither does facebook!

  29. SarahSweetheart says:

    @TinTin – Any SD in my history knows my real name, birthdate, and pretty much everything else there is to know about me. Anyone I have been intimate with has my real name.

    Virtual strangers don’t need my real name.

    My name is a ‘Need to Know.’ Virtual strangers don’t need to know.

  30. ContentSB says:

    @JennSA — Doesn’t @blog gods have access to email addresses?

  31. JennSA says:

    Just to be clear, @blog gods has no affiliation with SeekingArrangement.com. The only representatives from this site are @JennSA and @Brandon Wade, any body else claiming to represent SeekingArrangement.com is lying.

    @SarahSweetheart, I apologize for making you feel disrespected. @blog gods is not affiliated with our company and will be blocked from commenting since he felt it was appropriate to misrepresent us. I respect your decision to remain off camera, but I hope you reconsider the Paris documentary! Have a good weekend!

  32. DaddyGT says:


    Do you tell your SDs your real name? I’m asking because I’m worried I give out too much information.

    My personal take is that you probably should not be dating someone you are not comfortable sharing real identities with. I’m not suggesting giving them your SS number. That said, you probably have their real name/details, no? Tit for tat.

    Personally, I’m not sure I could end up in an arrangement with someone who could not trust me enough with their real name. That’s just a whole level of paranoid that I personally would probably attribute/associate with many other personal traits that I find incredibly unattractive.

    • SD Guru says:

      Whoa, blog drama and gift taxes all in one night, that’s enough to make anyone’s head spin!! I think I’ll go back to trying the lotus position to make sure it doesn’t cause permanent muscle damage… :mrgreen:

  33. SarahSweetheart/ControversialSB says:

    Thanks Dorky. I’m late for girls dinner….oh this will be a juicy conversation 😉


  34. ContentSB says:

    @SarahSH — If you don’t mind me asking, what sort of situation were you fearing so much that you decided to use multiple names? I just find it interesting because I don’t think any of us have ever felt threatened by anyone on the blog, at least I definitely haven’t. I mean this with no disrespect, but it’s kind of interesting given your previous post about taking pride in your ability to construct a web of lies.

    I sincerely hope you remain safe though.

  35. DorkyGuy says:

    @anyone reading this in the next hour… get off the freaking blog and go enjoy your friday night!

    @Sarah, that includes you! Good lord… you’re young, beautiful, and aren’t chained to a desk doing work. Forget the blog drama, and enjoy time with your friends while you are still young and free enough to do it.

  36. SarahSweetheart/ControversialSB says:

    Sorry guys, I live in the US…not a communist country. Here in the US we are given the right to speak AND have privacy…and if you threaten our own PERSONAL SAFETY there will be some HUGE ISSUES!

    IRS – Taxes are a necessary evil. Do I like paying them … Uh, no! But I do it because it’s the law. Period.

    Do I agree with the (lack of) logic behind the tax code? Double/Triple Taxation? No. I still obey the law!

    On prostitution being illegal…Uh, is someone trying to ‘moderate’ who I have sex with? Really? … Ok, then hand me a roll of duct tape. I’d rather tape-it-up than have it ‘moderated.’

    @Molly – I am going to need one of the chastity belts from your dungeon.

    Oh, and @bloggods, I have female roommates and we are ALL on SA and share a computer. Do you know how I heard about SA? Through word of mouth. Hmmm…I wonder how women are going to feel about your website when you make it common practice to ‘out’ them. Heres a point of view you may consider and “think about before you act”: Do you know what SA is to us non-pros? Part of our personal life. None of your business. That very ‘personal element’ is what makes your website LEGAL. Think about that the next time you want to make someone’s personal life your business.


  37. SarahSweetheart says:

    And again, my blog name was changed for PERSONAL SAFETY REASONS. So, if I am further prevented from communicating within the realm of my own personal safety, and with NO infringement on the personal safety rights of others, I will simply “blog troll” and NOT contribute. Ever.

  38. TinTinSB says:

    Oh, so many great posts to catch up on! Have I ever mention that you all rock?

    Re: Allowances Thank you so much for all having this discussion! It’s really helpful for me as a newbie SB to get a context for allowances. It makes me feel not quite as guilty for wanting the amount I’m looking for 🙂 Perfect timing as well! I’m meeting up with my pot SD tomorrow night, hopefully for an allowance discussion and some fun times as well. It’s his first time in the sugar bowl, so I hope the conversation goes alright. I always find talking about the money awkward, but I really need to get better at it. I can haggle in souks with the best of them, yet somehow get tongue tied around all of the sexy successful men around the site!

    @ SarahSweetheart I think you are great, but I think it is a bit disrespectful to post under so many different names. I’m a bit clueless about telling people apart, and so definitely thought they were all different people 😉 No real harm done, but would you mind limiting your handles in the future? It would help me keep the (already wildly veering!) conversation straight.

    Privacy I’m curious as to how other SBs deal with privacy issues, now that this has come up a bit. Do you tell your SDs your real name? I’m asking because I’m worried I give out too much information. I mean, I have a couple of super unique traits which I love to speak about, but make it really easy to find out information like my full name 🙁 How do other SBs weigh this? SDs, how much poking around in the background of your SBs do you do? Would you be turned off by her using an alter ego?

    Alright, I think I’m going to head off to the nickel arcade with some friends for now. How is that for cheap dive-y entertainment? I hope to pwn them all in some old school air hockey 😉

  39. SarahSweetheart says:

    So, I read geisha diaries a little bit…what is CMT? (i don’t think it stands for Country Music television)

  40. DorkyGuy says:

    Ohh… I have a good feeling about Anna’s dungeon. I bet the handcuffs are fuzzy, there are chocolates on the pillow, and she has a whip made of red licorice

  41. SarahSweetheart says:


  42. Midwest SB says:

    Dorky – Beware the dungeon…others have gone never to be seen again 🙂

    G’night sugars! Have fun playing on the dark side!

  43. Tina says:

    Is that one spanking per personality, or three spankings for each personality?

  44. Anna Molly/Naughty Molly/Nawty Molly says:

    DG ~ I think we’re up to three spankings now! What do you think, your dungeon or mine? 😉

  45. Midwest SB says:

    SDinLA – So glad you came back…tax advice and all! Real relationships are tough and sugar spoils you to that reality! Still…true love is worth all the trials and tribulations. I know she is a lucky lady! School had a small detour, but I’m done in May…sort of. I’m going the Masters route to become the more independent SB. 🙂

    Gents – Thank you for being so honest about what you consider a fair allowance under the circumstances provided. I understand the variables, but also find it reaffirming and valuable for those new to the sugar world to realize they don’t need to feel shy about allowances. It’s such a hard discussion…particularly for the lady who is new to sugar and who hasn’t had to sell anything in her life. This isn’t “selling” per se, but many of the same concepts apply.

    NYGirl – In my circle of friends, I am notorious for being a cub magnet. I never take them seriously, but have ended up in two long-term relationships IRL with much younger guys. I think having a younger SD would be fun in that you get to enjoy the good parts without so much of the immature parts. He seems genuine so far and there are many younger guys who prefer someone a little older who knows how to handle herself, knows what she wants in life, is confident and doesn’t have a lot of drama. The down side can be how he handles his liquor, how he handles his ego and how he manages his manners/ respect. If he managers those three well during your time together, then enjoy. He will be more likely to say “yes, let’s do that” and can be a great student. There’s something to be said for teaching a guy to be the kind of lover you want him to be. 🙂 On the flip side, my SDs have all been between 50 and 60, but since I’m 44, it’s not a large age gap. They are sophisticated, established and more experienced. Bottom line…why choose?? 🙂

    StaciM (et al) – I have to say that I enjoy most of your posts, but am disappointed that you played us that way. I’m with Dorky…don’t do that.

  46. Tina says:

    Awwww Dorky, your innocence is so cute sometimes 🙂 No one ever said that the IRS was rational.

  47. DorkyGuy says:

    @Tina~ Why would I need to offer an explanation, plausible or otherwise? Isn’t there a presumption of innocence/burden of proof assumption that is fundamental to our legal system?

    I guess it seems completely irrational to me that taxes would be levied a second time on money that I have already paid taxes on. I earned the money legally, I paid full taxes on the money at the highest tax rate, I ought to be able to do with it as I wish.

  48. Tina says:

    @DorkyGuy – you should be sitting back with a nice drink by now too! But, part of withdrawing cash is to ensure there isn’t a pattern about that, which they have every right to ask about. If the IRS can see a pattern of expenses (amount and frequency), and you do not have a legitimate and plausible explanation for this, weeeeell………

  49. DorkyGuy says:

    @NewYorkGirl~ You seem so interested in me that I am beginning to think you may have a crush! 😉 I can’t say I blame you.. sometimes when I pass myself in a mirror, I get lost in my eyes…

    As for my giving, let’s just say my cash gifts last year well exceeded the $13k limit several times over, hence my interest. Having said that, I must now choose another identity to blog under, lest this blog is a sophisticated IRS honey trap 😛

    Making an avatar is easy… go to gravatar.com and register using the same email address you post with here.

  50. DorkyGuy says:

    I am calling out Naughty Molly for hiding under the nic “Nawty Molly” this morning… I believe that deserves another spanking.

    @SSH, pretty please don’t do that any more. I like to know who I am talking to, as much as that is possible on the internet.

    @SDinLA~ I don’t expect a reply tonight… You’re supposed to be knocking back whiskey by now! Just a general thought. If I withdraw cash and give it to my SB, how on earth is it possible for the IRS to ding me in an audit? There is no record of where the money went, and for all they know I have an expensive gambling/strip club/drug habit. Isn’t the burden of proof on them? It just seems irrational that I would have to provide receipts for purchases to show where my cash goes.

  51. NewYorkGirl says:

    You have not paid no one no SB nothing last year?
    Or I am mistaken then sorry sorry.

    I like you deeply you know.
    But can we do not talk about taxes again? May be on Monday? :)))

    Dorky can you be a sweetheart and explain how to make avatar here. Thank you .

  52. NewYorkGirl says:

    I wrote once from a different nick , it was kind of obvious it is me since it was role playing/flirting with sir Lancelot:) aka VA gent.

  53. SDinLA says:


    P.S. re: paying for stuff directly without passing through her hands, again, legally you are required to report it and it’s subject to my prior post’s rules unless it is being paid to her school or medical provider directly.

    For shopping/hotels/spa stuff I just meant that if I go stay in a hotel and run up a tab, it makes no difference if I’m there alone or not for all practical purposes. And if I go to Barney’s and spend a bunch of $ shopping, if it’s within my normal spending patterns, nobody will notice what I bought and if it’s for me or my SB.

    Cash, prepaid credit cards, gift cards, getting her a credit card on your account… technically those things won’t generate any exposure for you if you don’t get audited, no worries, but if you DO get audited, I’d imagine you could get dinged for any and all of the above.

    There are gift tax forms you are supposed to fill out to track all of the stuff re: annual exclusions, lifetime exemptions etc., I don’t recall the form number(s) but I’ve seen them in the papers my guys prepare for me. You just have to list the name of the person and the amount of the gift(s) and if it’s below the limits you pay nothing.

    And if it IS a gift, the SB does NOT have to report it on her return. It’s not income to her and she can leave it off her forms completely

  54. NewYorkGirl says:

    Dear Blog Gods please watch movey with Drew Barrymore “Doppelgänger ”
    One of my fav ever :))

  55. NewYorkGirl says:

    Thank you girls:)

    Wanted to ask everyone and Midwest (particulary )
    If u had a SD who is younger than you.
    As I mentioned above my is 4 (ok, really 5 ) years younger.
    I know he is serious about me, the whole arrangement and he trusts me since he gave me my monthly allowance our first meeting.
    Of course I like mature guys who would take me to the Core Club … Etc
    But he is so cute … Like … puppy cute.:)

  56. SDinLA says:

    @DorkyGuy Talking taxes on a Friday evening… maybe the silk tie talk wasn’t so bad after all.

    Disclaimer: This is for US taxes, I am not an accountant, YMMV, and I didn’t even stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night, but this is what my tax people have told me and what I have gleaned from firsthand experience and the experience of other high-net worth individuals who give lots of gifts.

    If money/items that exchange hands is not income, it is a gift. That is of course unless you want to not report it and take your chances.

    Gifts are subject to federal taxes ON THE GIVER subject to the following rules at this time (and in some states, there is a state gift tax too, but not in the states where I’ve resided.)

    Federal gift tax is 35% on the gross amount, so effectively an approx. 50% tax on the value of the cash/item, e.g. 100k is subject to 35k federal gift tax, leaving 65k net to spend/give.

    You can give any individual 13k per calendar year in cash/gifts without any gift tax. That is the annual exemption. It used to be 10k, and has been raised in 1k increments in recent decades to the past few years’ level of 13k. If you’re a couple, you can EACH give an individual 13k per calendar year free of gift tax, but I doubt many married SDs will try that one. So as a single person, I could give 13k each to as many different people as I wanted, each year, and not be subject to gift tax.

    Beyond that 13k annual exemption, any money/items you give as gifts is now counted against your LIFETIME UNIFIED CREDIT FOR ESTATE AND GIFT TAX of $5 million ($10 million for a married couple but again, not really material to many SDs I’m guessing.) This figure used to be $1 million and is dues to revert to the lower # after 2012 unless Congress extends it.

    So let’s say you give your SB 13k in cash/gifts in the first 3 months of 2012. During the rest of 2012, you give her an additional 40k. If you declare it, that 40k is subtracted from your Lifetime Unified Credit, leaving you 4,960,000 in your credit. So if you died of a heart attack at the end of 2012, the first 4.96 mill of your estate would be free of estate tax, not 5 mill since you used up 40k of your credit on your SB.

    I’d imagine most married SDs hide their SB expenditures under other expenses and don’t report it at all. I’ve always reported my gifts, but there are ways to get around it, especially if you gamble a lot or have lots of discretionary cash expenses over the course of the year.

    There are a few major exceptions to the above limits, the 2 that I am aware of are tuition and medical expenses can be paid in any amounts free of gift tax, but you have to pay the school/provider directly. So if I send my SB’s school a check for X dollars to cover tuition, it does NOT count against the 13k annual exclusion or the lifetime unified credit. Ditto if she gets a breast enhancement and I pay the doctor. If I give her the $ and she pays the school or doctor herself, that IS subject to gift tax.

    Off to dinner preceded by a stiff drink, writing that made my head hurt.

  57. Tina says:

    Who says you have to conform and keep up? Dance and chat to the beat of your own drummers my dears! 🙂

  58. SarahSweetheart says:

    I can’t keep up, either 🙂 I’m slow

  59. Tina says:

    @ NewYork Girl – I’m right there with you. I’ve stopped tying to keep up, and just go with the flow. 🙂

  60. NewYorkGirl says:

    I just got home. How am I supposed to keep up with you guy?
    And I have to go out with my sister tonight again.

  61. DorkyGuy says:

    @EnglishRose~ How fun would it be to have split personalities so you could refer to yourself in the 4th person? Tell EnglishRose we said goodnight!

    @SDInLA~ Am I understanding you correctly that if I find an SB, and pay her tuition/rent/car lease/etc. directly without the money passing through her hands, it is not a gift to her and I don’t have to report anything? I assume the logic is that the IRS can’t prove that you didn’t buy those services for yourself, right? If it’s about the IRS being able to prove something, it seems to me that giving her cash doesn’t provide the IRS with the ability to prove anything except that you withdrew the money. Just thinking out loud.

  62. SarahSweetheart says:

    Escort in a hotel room?…Not on a park bench eating a sandwich? … hmmmm

  63. Nawty Molly says:

    SDinLA ~ I’m ready whenever you are! 😉

    Hi everyone! 😀

  64. Va Gentleman says:


    ” What do the blog SDs feel is a reasonable monthly allowance to offer a lady? ”

    I know you don’t like to look at things in terms of a per visit basis but local escorts in an average size city make $ 200-300 . So ,if a pot SD wants to see a SB 2X/week for an extended evening/all nighter the monthly offer would be reasonable at $1600 to $2400. In New York those rates are probably $500 ,so $4000 give or take . Calculated on a pretax basis this translates to 30 % more if you are not going to get the tax man involved . That’s no small change in my book for 2 nights /wk of bliss with a stud muffin SD .

    @ HGirl

    ” I’m willing to drop the gifts for the allowance ”

    Guys really like treating their ladies to gifts ,outings ,treats ,etc . It will not sit well with most men to ask for all $$$ . It takes some of the pleasure away and you will feel like an escort very quickly if all you do together is stay in the hotel room .

  65. EnglishRose says:

    Hello to you too! 🙂 Well I think in that case it’s fine, like we all say – Communication is what’s important! And like DaddyGT said, everyone on SA want’s different things, so you’d be well suited to a man who also likes to spend time doing simple inexpensive things.
    …Or of course, just an SD that is wealthy enough to give you the allowance you want & still spend money on fancy nights out. 😀

    I love having some one else brush my hair, or my hair being touched in general…and head massages…
    Okay, SD’s can buy me hairbrushes 😀

    Come back to London?

    RE: Positions
    Cowgirl – yes, and yes. Nice to know so many men like this one, but surely it get’s a little boring? I thought every girl would want to do that position!
    I don’t think I’ve heard of any Lotus positions…does it bear an resemblance to the yoga move?
    …I can’t do yoga in my gym anymore, the meatheads have figured out my schedule…sigh 🙁

    Yawn..EnglishRose is feeling very sleepy now, time to snuggle down in bed!
    (Yes EnglishRose sometimes talks about herself in the third person…nobody’s perfect okay?) Night night my lovies .x

  66. SDinLA says:

    This blog moves way too fast to keep up with, especially when there are 500 posts about silk tie fetishes.

    @AM Oooh, I like the sound of Nawty Molly. Win our yew gunna vizitt my dunjin?

    @Midwest Hope all is well with you. Are you done with school? I’m still working on the happily ever after thing. I am still madly in love and fully committed to making it work, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions and all that. Especially when you’re trying to make it work with someone in her early 20s.

    Guru put it succinctly re: “reasonable monthly allowance” way too many variables to pin it down, and it will vary from case to case. When I was doing this, there were different “categories” of support. In terms of the cash component, I rarely went above 3-5k as with DaddyGT, but that was always just one component. Like DGT, I was younger than many when I got into being a SD, and also not married and never had any issues finding smart attractive women to date outside of sugar, for me the boundaries implicit with SD/DB were just a way to ensure that she didn’t expect the white picket fence, 2-1/2 kids and a dog some day.

    Tuition was in its own category because I could pay tuition without any gift tax consequences, so that was the most favourable category for me. Hotel/spa/shopping etc. could be lumped into my own expenditures for tax purposes so that was the next easiest to rationalize (although if I’d ever been audited I might have had a hard time explaining the frequent expenditures on La Perla and Louboutins. “I’m a crossdresser” might work as long as they don’t ask to see your closet for proof of ownership of said items.) Cash beyond the $13,000 annual gift tax exclusion was always the most expensive $ to me (and that exclusion used to be <13k.) It's a bit different now, since the IRS has created a "unified lifetime exemption" for estate and gift taxes. Any $ a SD cannot write off some other way after the initial 13k per calendar year eats into his $5 million unified credit for estate/gift tax exemption. Especially for a married SD that is hard- how do you explain to your spouse that you have less than $5 mill left in exemptions because you've had SBs for the past 15 years? The only other approach to this is if the $ is income for the SB, then she has to deal with taxes. Plus having a SB as an employee in any way shape or form sounds like a bad idea for liability issues. All of this tax stuff only applies to US SDs of course.

    @Guru Ipso facto, I am still here. Just busy, and this blog is hard to keep up with at the moment.

    @Hgirl There's been discussion on the blog about the "hot guy discount" before. It sounds like you are struggling with that. It's up to you, but if what he can provide does not meet your needs, that does not sound like a recipe for a successful long term arrangement, no matter how much you like him.

    Re: negotiation, any serious SD is going to expect you to negotiate. If he gets offended that you just don't gladly accept his initial offer, then I'd say you're asking for trouble liking someone with that approach as much as you seem to- lots of good advice here, but don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and what you feel you want out of this.

    Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

  67. DaddyGT says:

    Heh! I take time to craft a long response, post it, and discover that half my points have already been covered better by other minds on the blog . 🙂 Good to see though, that there are other minds on the blog that think the same way I do too, both male and female.

    The cowgirl and reverse cowgirl are relatively safe, as far as positions go. Just have a personal preference for the former over the latter.

    That said, I would stay away from any positions that have Lotus in the name. Or indeed trying to do anything remotely naughty in a Lotus car. Not much good will ever come out of either attempt. 😈 Hahahaha!

  68. SarahSweetheart says:

    ….I don’t disagree with what you had to say.

    Oh, BTW, my SD was younger than you!

  69. SarahSweetheart says:

    @DaddyGT – I read your whole post. I do not see that you disagree with anything that I wrote.

    …Ill have an equation for you shortly…

  70. StaciM says:

    Reject only 20% and have bad consequences… eeekk!….I reject at least 95% off of this site…wait…hold on 3/127…thats more than 95%!

  71. DaddyGT says:


    Your $3k/mo allowance seems like a reasonable ‘baseline’ amount.

    Ha. Maybe I’m just cheap like that 🙂

    Seriously though, I’m just trying to be realistic. In my sugar days, I never went above £3k ($4.5k?) as a monthly allowance. But, as I noted above, I am just trying to be honest about my budget. Could I have gone higher? Probably. Did I want to, or feel I needed to? Not really.

    But then again, I probably don’t match the typical SD profile. I am relatively young (35), and single. Added to that, in IRL, dating has not been a problem for many years, so the the SBs are competing against dates that would not necessarily cost me an allowance. Maybe not the greatest of comparisons to make, but that’s just how things are.

    Why sugar dating? The deck is stacked in the guy’s favour. Plus, it expands the potential dating pool to include women who would otherwise fall out of my normal social circles, without the hard work and effort one might have to put into traditional dating site like OKCupid or Match.com. The explicit NSA in the sugar bowl helps too. 🙂

    Plus, as I have noted below, I am not into the “Take care of all my expenses” SBs. Any allowance I give is therefore going to be icing for the SB, and not something she is depending on to stay alive.

    And as I alluded to above, in the thinking behind my typical offer, the allowance I am offering is probably a bit more than the typical office junior earns. Tax free too. (In the UK at leat, HMRS is not quite as scary as the IRS). 🙂

    Thus, whilst you might consider it ‘baseline’, I still think it is pretty generous. Heck, with a couple of SB’s in the past, the monthly allowance I provided exceeded their take home pay from their full time jobs. 🙂 As always though, YMMV.

    One final point on the amount. I like to keep my sugar allowance to an amount I have no qualms parting with, and an amount I am happy to walk away from with no hard feelings even when the sugar goes sour (as it sometimes does). £2k-£3k is that figure for me. Much more than this, and I’d probably be far less casual about the cost, which would spoil the sugar very quickly.

    But your taking the extra $2k for “nights out, fine dining, and gifts” into account when determining what you provide to your SB seems fair IF and only IF that is her request/preference.

    Here I’ll have to disagree with you for a couple of reasons.
    a. The sugar bowl is for a good experience for both parties, no? My needs and preferences need to be factored into it too, no?

    b. The reason I bring in the additional $3k+, (this figure quickly adds up to a lot more than this with the cost of some gifts/excursions/events) is that I need to consider what my monthly entertainment/discretionary spend is, because that’s where the sugar allowance is coming from. All other things being equal, the higher the allowance, the less for the other little pleasures I have. Handing my entire entertainment budget to the SB as an allowance (whilst it might make her very happy), and sacrificing my other little pleasures (like nights out), is definitely going to result in a sub-optimum outcome for me. The figures I paint are me just trying to strike a nice balance.

    So, SBs need to consider that their allowance is just part of a maybe slightly larger pot of money that their SD has earmarked for ‘fun’. SDs with less expensive ‘other fun activities to be funded from this pot’ will necessarily have more for their sugar allowance. In my particular case, a 50-50 split seems about right.

    If she is indifferent to “nights out, fine dining, and gifts,” then this is your own personal preference. And the ‘benefit’ from these outings is not ‘mutual’ if she is indifferent to the outings.

    IF a SB’s preferences do not extend to some of these other activities that I enjoy, it is extremely unlikely that we will ever end up in a relationship, nevermind an arrangement. As I pointed out in (a) above, whilst it is the sugar bowl, the interests and pleasures of both parties need to be catered for.

    The great thing about the sugar bowl though, is that there is a fairly large bunch of people, each looking for something different. Each to their own I suppose.

    That said, I suppose if I ever found the amounts I was offering insufficient to attract the SBs I wanted to date, I would have to up the ante (if I can afford to), or sadly leave the sugar bowl completely. 🙁

  72. DorkyGuy says:

    @StaciM~ lol maybe! I have heard that I can be quite charming (and humble)! Like you, I have no objection to legal prostitution, nor do I think negatively of women who chose it for a line of work.

    @ER~ Maybe he wants to buy the hairbrush because he wants to brush your hair 😉 Can’t say I would blame him! As long as he’s not buying your toothbrush too.

    @Emily~ It was meg, who spent time as an escort (by the way, a person I like), that said that while there was screening, 20% of the time she was sleeping with a guy she didn’t like. Of course prostitutes are pressured to sleep with men they don’t want to sleep with. How long is an agency going to keep you if you reject 20% of their bookings?

    • SD Guru says:

      @Midwest SB
      If I may be so bold…What do the blog SDs feel is a reasonable monthly allowance to offer a lady? If you need details…say she is local, meet at least once a week, and plan an overnight weekend once a month with a fun excursion.

      Since each person’s situation is different, I don’t have an one size fits all offer to throw out. I’ll provide an hypothetical answer based on the hypothetical situation you described. But instead of a range of numbers I’ll provide the parameters I’d consider in making an offer.

      (1) Based on her expenses or goals, what would be an amount that would make a meaningful impact to her?
      (2) Based on the amount of time she will put into the arrangement, if she were to spend that time earning extra income how much could she make?
      (3) If I can offer an amount that can make a meaningful impact to her, and it’s much greater than what she can earn alternatively with her time, then chances are good that the offer should be attractive to her.

      I’m sorry if this didn’t answer your question! 😉

  73. StaciM says:

    …but I don’t really know if they “pick a dick” or not because I am not a prostitute. I would have to ask one.

    I hope that they do ‘pick a dick’ because they do in fact have a choice, much like other human beings.

  74. StaciM says:

    Actually, I was saying that a prostitute CAN pick a dick. SO, don’t be so bummed when a Pro turns you down 🙂 hehe

  75. SarahSweetheart says:

    @EnglishRose – Hello 🙂 … I make it clear that I have no preference about where we go or what we do: we could go on a 5-star vacation, we can have a snack on a park bench, whatever. If HE wants to do those things, OK! I will happily come along if he wants me to. BUT, that is his preference. Yes, of course I would enjoy doing those things with him, BUT I would enjoy doing simple and inexpensive things with him, too 🙂

    So, in my case, I make it clear that: Allowance that I am comfortable with is > Fancy dinners and gifts

  76. SouthernGent2 says:

    StaciM – you are borrowing my line from a few blogs ago. You are correct in that prostitutes do not pick a dick, while the sb is free to do so.

  77. StaciM says:

    …AND Prostitutes are also patriotically supporting domestic economic health. (I did not say that they weren’t BTW)

  78. StaciM says:

    @DorkyGuy – “I will call an escort service this afternoon, and request a girl just to spend a few hours chatting with me off the clock. I will stipulate that I want to know her real name, and I would love to learn about her life and family. We will see how it goes.”

    You may be happily surprised…She might be happily surprised, too! Heck, maybe she will “pick your dick” after all. 🙂

  79. StaciM says:

    @Emily – “Don’t speak for other people.”

    I have no idea what a prostitute does or does not do during their encounters with customers.

    By definition, there is a quid pro quo. That is all I know (see: dictionary or legal jargon)

    I can only HOPE that what he/she does is a result of his/her own personal choice, and NOT because he/she is being forced what to do.

    Legal Prostitution, no problem. I personally see prostitution as a victimless crime. (Ok, it is a crime against ‘the State,’ but not a crime against a human victim.)

    Human trafficking, slavery, abusive pimps, … abusive ANYTHING: Usually involves a human victim. I see an issue with victimizing a human, not with Prostitution itself.

  80. EnglishRose says:

    Haha…okay Dorky got there first.

  81. EnglishRose says:

    @Sarah Sweetheart
    I understand what you’re trying to say, and if the topic is discussed openly & both parties agree that spending a lot of money on going out/gifts etc wasn’t necessary then that would be fine.
    But also take into account that the SD might like going out with his SB, and that’s part of the reason he has decided to undertake an arrangement in the first place, so in this case, mutually beneficial applies to him as well!

    I think you have to take everything on here with a pinch of salt, when most of us talk about a group of people we are generalising. I’m sure there are a few prostitutes who would talk into the “wee hours” but one must admit they are few & far between. Dorky was just expressing an opinion (and in fairness, it was in defence of our life style being different to prostitution, he wasn’t bashing it), and you need to stereotype sometimes otherwise conversations would get far too complicated 🙂

    Yay for domestic economic health!! 😀
    We all have to put up with these kind of comments at some point, sometimes I have to remind myself not to get angry and frustrated, that this kind of thing takes getting used to, and there are some very open minded people that still need time getting their heads around it.
    Important thing is you feel comfortable and happy right? 🙂 And you always have us for support!

    ….I like buying my own hairbrushes. Honestly, I didn’t think I would be the kind of girl who would refuse a man buying her anything but…you have to take pride in a little ownership!

    RE: Dependency
    I think dependency is one of those things which is extremely intimate & wonderful for a couple who has equal dependency on one another, in these situations I think it’s great, but it’s just not appropriate in the sugar world, I would never want to be dependent on an SD.
    This is why I find allowances so important, I want to be able to manage my own finances, to save up and go on my own holidays (my mum has always wanted to go to Asia, so the first thing I’m going to do once I’ve saved some money from the sugar bowl is take her!)
    It’s hard when you come across nice men on SA who still don’t quite understand that concept.
    Oh well – If at first you don’t succed, try try again. 🙂

  82. DorkyGuy says:

    @Emily.. you may be right… I am coming from a limited and biased frame of reference. Tell you what. I will call an escort service this afternoon, and request a girl just to spend a few hours chatting with me off the clock. I will stipulate that I want to know her real name, and I would love to learn about her life and family. We will see how it goes.

  83. Emily says:

    I have heard a number of male members of this service make comments about prostitutes. About everything from their behavour to what they think. Are you men women who work as prostitutes? The answer is no. I heard one man on this blog say that prostitutes don’t get to “pick their dick”. How the hell would you know that. Have you ever worked as one? Also, how do you know prostitutes don’t sit up with you into the wee hours of the morning chatting? Don’t speak for other people.

  84. StaciM says:

    …I agree, Dorky. My personal experiences in sugar dating have gone leaps and bounds beyond any FWB experience. Ok, well, honestly I never actually had a FWB experience, always Boyfriend-With Benefits … prior to sugar dating. So, would that be BfWB?

    FWB … hmmm … if marriage was more like FWB maybe there would be less divorce? I donno…

  85. SarahSweetheart says:

    DaddyGT – “This is excluding any nights out, fine dining, and gifts (I don’t do shopping), for 8 days/nights per month, easily adds another £2k to the tab.”

    (I have to speak in USD terms)

    Your $3k/mo allowance seems like a reasonable ‘baseline’ amount.

    But your taking the extra $2k for “nights out, fine dining, and gifts” into account when determining what you provide to your SB seems fair IF and only IF that is her request/preference.

    If she is indifferent to “nights out, fine dining, and gifts,” then this is your own personal preference. And the ‘benefit’ from these outings is not ‘mutual’ if she is indifferent to the outings.

  86. DorkyGuy says:

    … A prostitute doesn’t stay up till 4:00am just chatting with you about common interests, nor do they talk about their lives. They don’t attempt to build anything approaching a genuine connection or friendship, at least not off the clock. Seems to me the closest RL equivalent to sugar dating is FWB, except that benefits are expanded..

  87. StaciM says:

    @Phone Guy – “Do you have a zero tolerance policy for flaking?”

    No ‘zero tolerance policy’ here. Generally I am understanding when friends (SD’s, whatever) have to cancel. Sometimes things come up. However … if flakiness becomes a habit, then it seems like that person is not being considerate of my time. It comes down to a matter of mutual respect and consideration – any kind of relationship should be mutually beneficial. When that balance is off, it’s time to correct the balance, or cut the cord, depending on the situation.

  88. StaciM says:

    Hello blog friends 🙂 … So…last night I was talking about the SA website with a girlfriend and, the proverbial “Isn’t that like prostitution?” question came up. I replied ” ‘Prästə’ what?…Uh…Are we getting our P’s and Q’s mixed up? I think we are confusing the word “Prostitution” (said while holding up the hand sign used for quotation) with another word that starts with the letter ‘p’: Patriotism. If anything, these women are supporting domestic economic health. You know?” I pause, and look at her to see if she has a response. I get a blank stare. So I proceed, “I thought that ‘prostitution’ was an exchange of money for sex, a quid pro quo…am I wrong? Well, I donno (shrug). It seems to me that asking “Isn’t that like prostitution” is like asking a man and woman who live together, “Isn’t that like marriage?”

  89. DorkyGuy says:

    I knew a SB once who had one of those “controlling/dependent” relationships. It was a crazy setup, but it seemed to work for them.

    They lived together, and he wouldn’t allow her to ever use her own money. He paid for everything, including tuition. If she needed a new hairbrush, he paid for it. But as part of their agreement, he set up an account for her in her name only that he put money into every month, so that she had an escape plan if she wanted it.

    Seems like a strange way to do it, but she ended up with college completely paid for, plus a nice amount in a savings account, and he ended up with the gratification of knowing he put her completely through college.

    I guess it can work, but you would have to be meticulous with details, crystal clear on expectatoins, and she would have to *know* he was being honest. Would scare me though.

    • SD Guru says:

      Yes, there are bad positions. I’d say anything that causes permanent muscle damage certainly falls into that category.

      I didn’t realize reverse cowigirl would cause permanent muscle damage. Let me go try it again to make sure it’s safe!! 😛

      I’m not sure whether the similarity with Guru’s posting style is “Great minds think alike” or it is “Fools seldom differ”.

      I’ll go for “fools seldom differ”. But I was here first! :mrgreen:

      How can I make things much simpler than that?

      You can’t, and you don’t need to. At some point you realize all the great chemistry in the world don’t mean much if geography and scheduling don’t work out.

      Don’t let a girl drain the wallet with false promises and such about how she is going to return the favor.

      We should have our BS detector on at all times, not just before Spring Break! 🙂

      @Va Gent
      If a SB is disrespectful then you should not torture yourself by staying in the hunt . Whenever I did that before it ended badly .

      Exactly, that’s why a SD should not become too attached to a SB or pot SB. When that happens he will start to make poor decisions.


      You’ve received very good advice from the blog, I’ll just mention a few things to keep in mind.

      (1) You stated that who you spend time with is more important than the allowance itself, and you prefer only one SD. Have a number in mind in terms of what is the minimum you’re willing to accept from him. No matter how much you like a pot SD, it’s possible that you won’t be able to come to terms for whatever reason. That’s why it’s good to have a minimum number so that you can remain objective.

      (2) During the allowance discussion/negotiation it’s important to keep in mind that the allowance is only a portion of a SD’s total spending on a SB. Presents, shopping, fine dining, etc can add up and it’s all coming from the same source. Ask yourself how you’d like your SD to spend his money on you.

      (3) When you explain your monthly expenses to him make sure you have an answer for “how do you cover your expenses now?” or “how would you cover the difference if I can’t take care of all of your expenses?” This is important so that he doesn’t think you just made up the numbers to justify a higher allowance.

      If his initial offer is only half of what you’d like, then it’s doubtful that he’ll be able to double his offer no matter what you say. At the end of the day an arrangement has to be mutually beneficial for it to last, so I hope the two of you will be able to come to terms.

  90. DaddyGT says:


    Speaking as a SB the idea of being totally dependent on Sugar scares the crap out of me. If I found someone that wanted me to be dependent on them I would likely require an allowance that allowed me to put a significant amount of funds away for “just in case” money.

    From the comments I have read here, and in other blogs, a lot of SBs fall into the trap of ‘easy money’, and forget to squirrel any away for a rainy day when the sugar bowl eventually runs dry, as it invariably does. And a SD that wants you dependent on them probably has a whole bunch of control issues, and is (at least in my mind), unlikely to be a good person to date.

    General question – I can pay my bills with what I make now but that is about all that is getting paid, there is no money for pretty things. Suggestions on how to communicate that in my profile without sounding desperate.

    Just the way you did right there. A profile like that has the added bonus of being attractive to both allowance, and gift/shopping SDs.

    I would love to be able to have all the pretty things and dress like a million bucks for meetings but doing that would mean not paying some bills. For me that is unacceptable. Bills >>> Fun

    Well, you certainly sound like you have your head screwed on right. And your stance is very endearing, and attractive, and appealing. At least to me. Actually, you could almost copy your entire paragraph and stick that in your profile. It certainly does not sound desperate. To me, it says “You have your head screwed on right, and just want to have a life a bit better than you are managing on your own.” That’s why they call it sugar after all, no? Provides the sugar on top of the cake that you already have.

    Maybe I just have a deep fear of responsibility, but the idea of being a SB’s sole source of funds for all her living expenses really does scare the shit out of me. I therefore refuse to get engaged/involved in that at all. Hence my comments above that “Your cost of living is not my problem”

  91. SouthernGent2 says:

    SKitty – I would just put in your profile that you are responsible, have a nice job, that you are able to meet basic needs such as rent, car, insurance, etc. Then go at finding someone with the approach that you need a “bonus” for your lifestyle where you can have some nice clothes, some extras, etc. Personally from what I read, I would find you to be very attractive knowing that you aren’t going to be coming to me asking for things. Instead one gets to be the lucky guy with an independent girl that just wants to be spoiled with nice things on occasion.

  92. DaddyGT says:


    If the case is that the tax makes a *huge* impact on how much you can offer, maybe list your income as less? … His income is slightly above average for the area (if he’s being honest about how much he’s making).

    Part of the problem is that a SD’s income is only a small indicator of what he can afford. He might earn above average, but if he has above average expenses, he is not likely to be able to bring much to the sugar bowl.

    How high are his living expenses? Does he have a huge mortgage for his penthouse apartment? Is he married? Is he divorced with an expensive alimony? Does he have kids? Expensive child support? Is he supporting other family members? Is he still paying off his expensive law school loans? Does he have expensive habits/hobbies? Besides sugar of course? Are you his only SB? <— you can't assume this one either.

    High income does not necessarily mean high disposable funds.

    Given how much it costs to live here, I am sure I could find a SD offering more.

    This is somewhat related to the above. By many accounts, the numbers in the sugar bowl are somewhere around 10 SBs for each SD. That alone makes it far more difficult to meet a pot SD that you genuinely like. Meeting one that you like, and can afford your desired allowance will also necessarily get more difficult the higher this allowance figure is.

    Or maybe just one of those ranges on your profile instead of saying “negotiable” if it’s really not actually negotiable at all.

    Negotiation 101. You never want to be the first one to name a figure. Pretty much the same reason that a lot of SB’s will also have negotiable on their profiles. Now if you have a range stated (as @Midwest SB) suggests, and a SD comes in with an offer way below this, then that’s a whole different story, and I think all the SDs here would be the first to rally around you and against him. The allowance is always negotiable. The upper limit of course, is just how much disposable income the SD has.

    To SDs: If you had the choice, would you prefer a lower allowance … and maybe see 2 SBs or keep the rest for yourself or whatever, or would you prefer the double allowance and the monogamy (this also implies she sees you more often)?

    You will get a different answer from every SD. I think you will find it will differ for many reasons. Many SDs just don’t have the bandwidth to juggle more than one SB at a time. Other SDs too, are into variety. It also depends very much on the SB, the connection you have, and the sort of relationship you have with her. I have had GFs that I did not want to see more than once a week. They were like a drug … intense! Seeing them too often would have spoilt it. 🙂

    Personally, I never promise monogamy. Not anymore anyway. Sometimes it is that way, sometimes not.

    I simply stopped contact. I’m sure I could explain that I was in midst of something and would like to meet up again either way? But I honestly didn’t like them that much. I’m unsure I’d be willing to see them long term.

    Good on you for being picky. 🙂 You will make some SD really happy by the sound of things. What it means though, is potentially a longer search period to find the right SD for you. Keep the faith, and hope you get what you are looking for.

  93. SKitty says:

    @DaddyGT – Speaking as a SB the idea of being totally dependent on Sugar scares the crap out of me. If I found someone that wanted me to be dependent on them I would likely require an allowance that allowed me to put a significant amount of funds away for “just in case” money.

    General question – I can pay my bills with what I make now but that is about all that is getting paid, there is no money for pretty things. Suggestions on how to communicate that in my profile without sounding desperate. I would love to be able to have all the pretty things and dress like a million bucks for meetings but doing that would mean not paying some bills. For me that is unacceptable. Bills >>> Fun That is why I am in sugar land, I want to be able to be pretty and have someone that truly appreciates it without having to worry about how I am going to pay the bills because I bought new shoes.

  94. DaddyGT says:

    @Midwest SB

    If I may be so bold…What do the blog SDs feel is a reasonable monthly allowance to offer a lady? If you need details…say she is local, meet at least once a week, and plan an overnight weekend once a month with a fun excursion.

    I’ll try and answer this question, with qualifications. 🙂 I haven’t been in the bowl for a while, but this kinda covers my intentions when I delve back in. This is in London though, so feel free to adjust.

    My ideal SB is someone I see at least twice a week. Midweek outing, and a weekend day/night is great for me.

    My general rule of thumb for the allowance is “What does the receptionist at work make? Pre-tax” So around £2k** per month seems like a very reasonable and generous allowance++ from where I am sitting. This is excluding any nights out, fine dining, and gifts (I don’t do shopping), for 8 days/nights per month, easily adds another £2k to the tab.

    **According to Google, £2k is USD$3,1k today.
    ++As with all things though, this figure can be varied upwards for the right candidate who catches me when the stars are lined up just right.

  95. Aicha says:

    This is so true. I am an international college student myself and i am not allowed to work here. It’s been so hard for me! I am glad that i found this website. People should stop judging others. They have no idea about what they are going through. Hopefully i will find a gentleman and it will go on the longterm 🙂 Good luck to all the college students / sugarbabies who work hard to make it.

  96. DaddyGT says:

    @Midwest SB

    I don’t think a $1600 allowance to meet twice a week is an unreasonable expectation … I just think it’s a reasonable request.

    I agree. Although in this instance I suspect her desired figure is north of this.

    Going to school is quite expensive and she is fortunate to have the scholarship. Working would mean less time to study and do well in school, but a requirement for many students

    This is where you have to start treading carefully. The brutal truth is that it is genuinely difficult to get a stranger to care about your cost of living. It really is. If you have a magical once-we-laid-eyes-on-each-other-we-connected moment, then you are more likely to swing for the fences and get your full allowance requirements and then some. If not, it might take time for your allowance to be upped to a level you are truly happy with, as @Va Gent pointed out.

    Part of that time, is due to the fact that empathy for another’s situation is easier when you are more invested/connected with that person. Part of the time is to prove that the counter-party to the agreement is genuine, that you are genuine, *and* that your time together is genuinely fun.

    For example It would be much easier for a SB who knows that a SD can afford a bigger allowance, to see him x times per week, for a few weeks, and then threaten to change that to x/2 because she needs to make up the difference by working as a waitress at the local bar. She has already demonstrated value, *and* the SD is more likely to up his allowance, than have less of a genuinely good thing. At least that’s what would work for me.

    And @Midwest SB, as you rightly pointed out a few threads above, I truly fall into this category; Many SDs are not comfortable with fully covering living expenses…it makes them feel like you DEPEND on their allowance. Being in that position scares the living daylights out of me! But then again, not every SD is like that, since many like to play the “ultimate provider” role for their SDs.

    As has been pointed out before, the more you are depending on sugar for your core living expenses, the more vulnerable you will be in any relationship, and indeed in any negotiations.

  97. Hgirl says:

    @DaddyGT: Rookie mistake. You basically counted your chickens before they hatched. Until you have an arrangement in place, I would not count on anything in the sugar world as a given.

    I simply stopped contact. I’m sure I could explain that I was in midst of something and would like to meet up again either way? But I honestly didn’t like them that much. I’m unsure I’d be willing to see them long term.

  98. NC Gent says:

    Midwest SB (always good to see you) – I would never have enough time and/or flexibility to see someone that often, but if I did, I would probably put an initial offer out of around $2000 and expect her to counter offer, and probably settle in the $2200 to $2500 per month range.

  99. Hgirl says:

    @Midwest: I unfortunately live in an area in the state where the land is very valuable. 🙁 To buy a simple acre of land would cost you well over a million – the average home price (3br, 2bath ~1500-2000 sq ft) is $1.2M. Given how much it costs to live here, I am sure I could find a SD offering more. His income is slightly above average for the area (if he’s being honest about how much he’s making).

    My rent alone is $1300 – I do have my own room etc, but I have 2 other apartment mates to be able to afford this. On top of that, I chose to live off campus (a major inconvenience for me) to shave off around $500-600 a month.

  100. DaddyGT says:


    I guess my question is: should I bring up monogamy/time first or an allowance increase first? Or both at the same time?

    It depends. In many ways, only you can answer this. There are so many other variables? One of the most important ones though, is “Do you think he can afford a higher allowance?”

    If not, then everything else is moot. @Va Gent highlights this when he points out that negotiating is more difficult when you don’t know how much he can afford.

    If he can afford it, then it is up to you to prove to him that it is in his best interests to cough up all the allowance you need to make you genuinely happy.

    Be careful with veiled threats though. I know I keep repeating myself, but it is entirely in the delivery. If he can afford it, show how giving you the allowance you want we result in him seeing more of a happier you, and how much this is a better value proposition than the current allowance offer with more limited time restrictions.

    Rather than hitting him with the monogamy sledgehammer, you can put it in a “Well, I’ll need to take on part time work.” instead. Ultimately, it conveys the same message; i.e. that you won’t be as available to see him as you might otherwise be.

    Depending on how hard you push, be prepared to have him walk away, and indeed to walk away yourself if you are not getting what you hoped for.

    I cut off seeing anyone else (or going on first dates anyways) after our 2nd date because we had the best connection and he explained he’d like to pursue this. I basically blew off the other guys (as I don’t have that much time this week & next week anyways

    Rookie mistake. 🙁 You basically counted your chickens before they hatched. Until you have an arrangement in place, I would not count on anything in the sugar world as a given.

    I realise that you might not have as much time available, but to find the right SD for you will take time and effort. Unless you are willing to sacrifice a bunch of other things in the short term, in order to cast your net as far and wide as possible in the sugar bowl, your results will invariably always be sub optimal.

    Sounds like you have a bunch of genuine potentials waiting in the wings though, so in many ways you are already doing much better than average. Good luck with your negotiations though.

  101. Midwest SB says:

    This is so true. I think the problem too, is that there tends to be survivorship bias, even in the SB blogs on the internet. The ones who tend to blog about their sugar adventures, are the ones who are fairly successful both in getting a SD, and in getting a generous allowance. The ones who don’t end up with a SD, or have one of more modest means, are far less likely to be hitting the blogosphere about it.
    Daddy GT

    There are those who come to gloat…most of them were never SBs to begin with but were people anonymously coming to seek attention. Although there are a few who have had that kind of an allowance, there was a greater price to pay. My range is $1K to $3K. I’ve never had an offer of $800 per month. I’ve always been pleased with my offers and I didn’t have to itemize my expenses. I don’t think a $1600 allowance to meet twice a week is an unreasonable expectation. Going to school is quite expensive and she is fortunate to have the scholarship. Working would mean less time to study and do well in school, but a requirement for many students. Rent, utilities, transportation and cell phone will easily make that amount with perhaps a little left over to treat her SD to a little lingerie show or some fun new FMPs! Most students have roommates, so perhaps she can do a little less. I just think it’s a reasonable request.

    If I may be so bold…What do the blog SDs feel is a reasonable monthly allowance to offer a lady? If you need details…say she is local, meet at least once a week, and plan an overnight weekend once a month with a fun excursion.

  102. Hgirl says:

    Oops.. he’s offering more than $800 – I was referring to NYGirl’s insulting offer and saying it’s not that low. But still definitely not enough to live off of, even by what my college lists is “expected expenses” for going here (which definitely is an underestimate by the way).

  103. NC Gent says:

    p.s. $800 a month for 1-2 times a week is ludicrously low for even the low cost of living areas of the United States IMHO.

  104. Hgirl says:

    I’m not 100% sure I want present myself with how much I could be making (job, other SDs, whatever) because the bottom line is that I like him.

    To SDs: If you had the choice, would you prefer a lower allowance (like say half as much) and maybe see 2 SBs or keep the rest for yourself or whatever, or would you prefer the double allowance and the monogamy (this also implies she sees you more often)?

  105. Hgirl says:

    @DaddyGT: If the case is that the tax makes a *huge* impact on how much you can offer, maybe list your income as less? Or maybe just one of those ranges on your profile instead of saying “negotiable” if it’s really not actually negotiable at all. I’m not trying to be mean, but I think you’re setting yourself up for pain later if it appears to SBs that you’re offering a lot more than you are.

  106. NC Gent says:

    Hgirl — I had a similar negotiation with an SB, but we weren’t as far apart. I would recommend putting together a summary of your monthly expenses – nothing too detailed — maybe 5-8 line items and present it to him. Then explain that you are very busy, and that you would only like to see one SD. Follow it up with something along the lines…. without the support, I will need to get a second job and then there will be no time available to see you. It worked for my SB, and it made me feel like I wasn’t paying for her companionship — best wishes.

  107. DaddyGT says:

    @Va Gentleman

    The problem you (all) face in dealing with SD s is that you don’t know what our budgets are . They might be lower on average than you think . It’s not about what they make but what they spend –right ? Everyone strives for the $20 K /mo but those guys are few and far between .

    This is so true. I think the problem too, is that there tends to be survivorship bias, even in the SB blogs on the internet. The ones who tend to blog about their sugar adventures, are the ones who are fairly successful both in getting a SD, and in getting a generous allowance. The ones who don’t end up with a SD, or have one of more modest means, are far less likely to be hitting the blogosphere about it.

    In many ways, I think this has the effect of setting sometimes unrealistic expectations in the minds of new SBs.

    @Midwest SB

    He’ll argue that it’s tax free and you’re not working

    At the risk of sounding trite, these are perfectly valid arguments. The main issue here, will be that the SD is going to be giving you an allowance out of his *post tax* income. If we SD could be covered out of pre-tax income, I’m sure a lot of SDs, (and SBs) would be a lot happier. 🙂

  108. Hgirl says:

    @VA: I don’t care about $20K a month as much as I do about liking the guy I’m with. Maybe it sounds corny… but I’m just not willing to sacrifice being happy for $240K a year. At some point (probably after I graduate), I’d like to have less of an allowance and more of an entertainment pay expense… like as in him just paying for dates. 😛

    @NYGirl: Do you have a LINE of pot SDs? With better offers?

    I cut off seeing anyone else (or going on first dates anyways) after our 2nd date because we had the best connection and he explained he’d like to pursue this. I basically blew off the other guys (as I don’t have that much time this week & next week anyways).

  109. Midwest SB says:

    VA Gent – Not all men are as generous as you might think. Your lady lucked out, but I can assure you, it is the exception and not the rule. I think it’s a risky venture to go in “hoping” he antes up. She could spend her time on someone who she enjoys and who is willing to go the extra mile for her rather than someone forcing her to negotiate her way to a fair allowance. He assumed her living expenses rather than asking. (I can’t live on $800/ month in a small Midwest town with no car payment.)

    I know finding a genuine SD and someone you like takes time…as it should. It does not mean a lady should be afraid of walking away if it isn’t as mutually beneficial as she had hoped. If she accepts an arrangement that does not meet her needs it will breed resentment and discontent on her part and the arrangement is short-lived.

    It is expensive to sugar date in general…traveling, nice dinners, shows, venues, etc can add up…especially if he’s married and trying to hide the sugar funds. I do like the idea of offering to stay in a few times a month in order to allow more for her. As long as it doesn’t become a regular habit.

  110. Hgirl says:

    @DaddyGT: Good insight! I didn’t think of that.

    I know he’s open to negotiation but I kind of feel mean asking for more I guess. Even said nicely, I don’t want to to tell him he’s not offering enough to be with me – that’s not the message I want to send because I actually like him. Also I can’t really help where I live since it’s at school, everything around here is around the same cost. If I lived further away, I’d just have to be paying more in time/gas, car costs, etc. I calculated it out before, and it’s by far cheaper to live here. I guess if I went to a different school it’d be less expensive but I can’t think of anything else… lol.

    Also I’m willing to drop the gifts for the allowance. The thing is: then he won’t be getting any lingerie treatments, etc either. I feel kind of bitchy to ask for even like a 50% increase, much less a 200% increase.

    I guess my question is: should I bring up monogamy/time first or an allowance increase first? Or both at the same time?

  111. NewYorkGirl says:


    I do not think it would be offensive for him if you in your nice and cute e mail would ask If he wants “us” to be exclusive. Why would it be offensive ? But it should give him the clue…supposedly.
    Do you have a LINE of pot SDs? With better offers?
    Like $2000 would not be as good as $3000 but it still would help you a lot (and for less allowances you meet him not as often as for bigger one, so you will have more time to study, part time job, GFs….

    I hope it make sense.

    I think if you give him some hint the offer is not too good, he should agree to meet you less often if this amount is his dispensable income.
    Plus … You like him? Right? And u r a young sexually active girl…. You do need to have sex too. 🙂
    Or then r u going to be sexually active? Once u r 75 y old?

  112. DaddyGT says:

    Heh. Me and my long posts! Looks like a few other minds infinitely wiser than mine chimed in with responses before mine.

    Have to agree with both @Midwest SB and @SouthernGent2.

    And just to add to what SouthernGent2 wrote about keeping your hook in the water. You will always be in a stronger negotiating position if you have more than one offer on the table. I realise you only want one SD. That’s grand, but does not mean you should jump for the first offer that comes along if it does not meet your requirements.

  113. Midwest SB says:

    PS – Next time, put your range as $1k – $3k so a man knows up front where he should start. Do not worry that it will screen out potentials…you want it to.

  114. Va Gentleman says:

    @ Southern Gent

    ” always keep the hook in the water just in case ” .

    This is practical advice but potentially risky for a SB dealing with a SD who desires exclusivity( which you haven’t said he does yet) . She might not want to risk losing a good guy where there is chemistry over the threat of shopping around .

    ” If he likes you, he is going to up the ante at some point soon” ‘ which HGirl said and I agree . You do need to let him know what your needs are based on your cost of living . He is likely to pay what you are asking and more if he really likes you and can afford it .

    The problem you (all) face in dealing with SD s is that you don’t know what our budgets are . They might be lower on average than you think . It’s not about what they make but what they spend –right ? Everyone strives for the $20 K /mo but those guys are few and far between .

  115. Midwest SB says:

    Hgirl – It’s a delicate balance. If he doesn’t know about your scholarship, then still approach the tuition angle. After all, scholarships can be used to cover additional expenses. Or you can kindly say that you would be in a better financial position accepting the part-time job and that perhaps sugar wasn’t going to cover what you had hoped. It’s a reality check for him and shows that you’re fiscally responsible. He’ll argue that it’s tax free and you’re not working, but if you’re in a major city (NYC/ Dallas/ etc) a lady can make 150+ bartending bar per night which comes to $1200+ per month on weekends. Let him know you’re not afraid to walk away from sugar in order to meet your financial responsibilities. As far as the exclusivity goes, you mentioned it in your profile…so it is likely something that made you appealing to him. You can say something to the effect of “your offer is kind…I just wish I could commit myself to you and make ends meet. I will still have to find a way to make ends meet. What do you recommend?” Then he can suggest keeping the exclusivity off the table…he may ask you to provide a number that would cover expenses…or he may increase his offer. No matter what, if it doesn’t meet your needs, do what you must do. You may have to suggest that you’ll need time to work, so you can only meet 2x per month or something to that effect. It’s a dance. Asking him his recommendation allows him to lead and hopefully he will be happy if he makes an offer you accept rather than accepting an offer you provide.

  116. Hgirl says:

    I think you know exactly what I mean – you’re right, I don’t want to see more than one person at all. First of all, it’s hard to find someone I like! I don’t want to scare him of either. On the flip side, to be 100% honest, if I started seeing someone else, liked them, and they were covering my expenses – I’d have to cut it off with him. Do you see what I mean? Giving up exclusivity would also mean the chance of replacing him fully because I know how I am, and eventually, I just can only be happy when there’s really only 1 guy involved.

    In no way did I imply he has to be monogamous (as I don’t really care), etc. It’s just I know that on my side it’s what I want.

  117. DaddyGT says:

    I’m not sure whether the similarity with Guru’s posting style is “Great minds think alike” or it is “Fools seldom differ”. More realistically, it is just me shamelessly copying from the great.

    I agree. Walking away after one cancellation seems harsh. Like all rules though, there is nothing hard and fast. I suppose my point is that the onus is on the party that cancels to *actively* demonstrate interest, in part by (with no additional prompting), making the rescheduling arrangements. If you cancel, then the ball is now in your court to make nice.

    @Va Gentleman

    If she is not into you then move on . If she exhibits disrespectful personality traits then move on

    I totally agree. Some things are a sign that she’s just not that into you. Much easier to write off your losses and move on. Unfortunately for the ladies, this is even more true in the sugar world. As a guy, I am more likely to be forgiving with a woman I have already met before, and have some chemistry with, than someone who has just been the person on the other end of a few email/phone exchanges.

    @Nawty Molly
    Good morning to you too. How is Ms Flanders on this fine Friday?

    I’m going to be a bit brutal with my honesty here.

    but I’m not sure he realizes how expensive it is to live here.

    Shooting from the hip, the cost of living wherever you choose to reside, would be your problem, not your SD’s. That unfortunately is the cold truth.

    While this sounds harsh, negotiating from a “Do you have any idea what it costs to live here?!?!” position, is not going to be very helpful. Well, it wouldn’t be in my case.

    That said though, that’s his first offer. It is a negotiation after all.

    but the problem is: he’s offering about half as much as I’d actually like… (especially since he stated this estimate would be how much he thought my expenses would be).

    Have a frank discussion with him, and make him a counter offer. Point out why/what you are in the sugar bowl for. Point out what you need to get out of this. Lay your cards, and expenses on the table if you must.

    Consider what you think he might be able to afford. Consider too the demands on your time that he is making. Again, this is all part of a negotiation. Would he be happy if you had another SD to make up the difference? Would his offered allowance require you to work to make the bills, thus taking time away from you both? Are you willing to forgo some expensive gifts and chocolate in lieu of a higher allowance? Etc. etc.

    Above all, you need to play it by ear. What will work for one SD will not work with another, but it sounds like you already know this guy pretty well.

    @Hgirl … sidebar
    My two points above sound like they contradict each other, but they don’t. It is all in the position you are negotiating from, and indeed in the delivery of your arguments. Your cost of living, where you choose to live, is *your* problem not his. Your SD’s problem is how much he can help in making this problem go away.

    Sigh. I don’t think I’m putting this well. I suppose my main point is that if your sole argument is “It is so expensive to live here therefore I deserve/demand a higher allowance, dammit!”, then you have already lost.

    Frame your negotiations in a way that shows these genuinely higher costs, without being overly confrontational. And indeed, if it is a sticking point, negotiate some compromises. Whatever you do though, unless you are both happy with the final arrangement, it won’t last long.

  118. NewYorkGirl says:

    Thank you Midwest, u r so smart (as always).

    Hgirl. Sounds like the guy is really good, and he like you and he care about you (presents, chocolate …). And you like him. I would prefer to be with someone I like for smaller allowances than to be with someone I do not like so much for higher number.
    You do not depend only on sugar money? Do you?

    I tell you tell you about my current pot/SD. He told me how much is the amount he can spend on sugar (and he is married and work for pay check, but still has his own investment so his offer was an OK to me). but not good. And actually he asked me how much my rent. I did not tell him my rent so he would not faint.
    I told him… “usually on this web site ….arrangements like…. 3.000 for twice a week meetings … I do not know… ” I am extremely uncomfortable discussing money, yet. 🙂

    (but as Midwest (I believe ) said … If it is not important for you to discuss money, then do not get unset if someone use you . Something like that).

    So I did not tell him how much I NEED I told him ” how it is usually here…”
    so he told me right away the midline offer… And I had to agree 🙂 , right?
    it was good offer, not perfect but good. (oh,… No one ever would be as generous as my d SD but … It is life).

    And I do not need any money if my heart would be broken or if I do not like the guy.

    And he is a sweet guy, very very neat, nice skin, nice body, very respectful …. Oh… Did I
    mention 4 years younger than me. Not my type…. But… We all have to compromise 🙂

    (somehow I never can go up and read what I just wrote on I pad)

  119. Hgirl says:

    @Midwest: Thank you! 🙂

    I have quite a large academic scholarship so I don’t have to pay tuition at all outside of the fees (probably comes to around $200 a month if I put it throughout the semester). Everything about my profile implies (or straight forward says) exclusivity + long-term would be preferential. Maybe he’s thinking not? We did talk about meeting 1-2x per week, that we’re both workaholics, and that would mean it would be fairly restrictive for me to be able to find another guy, especially since I generally can’t meet during the weekdays (I suppose except Mondays).

    Another thing is, I am looking to attend summer school so I have more wiggle room throughout the year, and I know that’s twice as expensive (tuition is constant, fees are not 🙁 and perhaps my scholarship won’t even cover tuition for that)

    Maybe he’d prefer for me to see other SDs to lower his expense overall? I would not. Even if I was going to make 10x as much for 2 SDs, I’d still prefer to have one I genuinely liked with just my expenses covered. I would still like to see him regardless of the allowance so I don’t want to seem demanding – but on the other hand I’d like to make it clear that it doesn’t cover everything for me.

    Is there a nice way I can ask if he would like to be exclusive? It just seems cruel since this is what I’ve been implying from the beginning.

  120. SouthernGent2 says:

    HGirl – if you enjoy this guy, then don’t let him get away just because you are apart on numbers. If he likes you, he is going to up the ante at some point soon. Like Midwest said, be careful about how you say things. Finding someone you enjoy hanging out with is difficult to do. You need to consider that when thinking about this particular guy.

    You would be wise to also have someone else though if expenses are a true issue. Just an insurance policy guy if you get my drift, though I realize some sb’s do not like seeing two guys at the same time.

    As I said above about sb’s, one is wise to always keep the hook in the water just in case.

  121. Midwest SB says:

    Hgirl – I know you addressed NYGirl, but if I may suggest a few things. Many SDs are not comfortable with fully covering living expenses…it makes them feel like you DEPEND on their allowance. Instead, if you have school expenses, outline them by per semester costs…tuition, books, parking, fees, etc and maybe he’ll come up a bit. Another way to put it is that you will still have to get a part-time job to cover expenses which means less availability for him. Be careful about how you say it…make it about achieving goals and how helpful he can be as well as how it benefits him. Lastly, if he’s not asking for exclusivity, you can/should make it clear that exclusivity is not one of the parameters. Not to say it in such a way that you’re going to sleep around, but in the way that you have other options besides his allowance. He may find that exclusivity (sugarwise) is important to him and he is willing to offer a little extra for this. Hope it helps!

  122. Hgirl says:

    I’m a little surprised by how many problems there have been getting together with girls (or let’s just say people to make this generic) on this site with how few dates I have set up.

    I’ve never cancelled a date except this one time I had strep throat. I did once have a cold before a date and I simply asked the person if they were okay with this (they were).

    11 minutes before a date… I’m not so sure is okay. Normally I’d say canceling a date without a detailed explanation is okay but not if it’s within 6 hours of the date because then she’s going to need a real reason like her house being on fire or something. Secondly, I can’t imagine why she’d feel this was okay. Did she just text or call? If she called with a real reason/emergency, okay. But 11 minutes before a date is simply unacceptable and I’d address with her (maybe during your next meeting) that you were saddened (not angry – don’t come of as angry) that it happened. She should also offer to make up any dates she misses because otherwise it seems as if she’s just blowing you off to spend less time with you.

  123. Hgirl says:

    @NewYorkGirl help! I’ve been meeting this guy (our 3rd date now) and we really like each other – lots of common interests, etc. He’s gotten me some nice jewelry on the last date and flowers/chocolate/etc on every date (which I find endearing). We decided we shouldn’t discuss the numbers thing in person and that we’d just e-mail it when we thought we liked each other to figure it out. He e-mailed me on Monday but the problem is: he’s offering about half as much as I’d actually like. It seems like he could definitely compromise (especially since he stated this estimate would be how much he thought my expenses would be). I wouldn’t say his offer is so low it’s insulting (like $800 or something), but I’m not sure he realizes how expensive it is to live here.

    Do I tell him how much my actual expenses are? I don’t want to scare him off if he’s offering half as much. Do I agree to see him (because I actually really like him) but explain he can’t be the only person I see if it works this way?

    What do you think?

  124. Nawty Molly says:

    Morning everyone!! It’s Friday! Whoo Hoo!! 😀

  125. Va Gentleman says:

    @ Phoneguy and SouthernGent2

    RE: no show ,cancellations ,rescheduling

    It really boils down to two issues —basic respectfulness as a personality trait , and the SB ‘s committment to you .

    After many flakes ,poofs and downright irresponsibility exhibited by prior dates , my SB now shows the utmost respect and art in dealing with our schedule . She knows my flexibility is limited and rarely reschedules , but when she does she asks for a different time and states that she can work things out if I can’t change . So far she hasn’t had an emergency that she couldn’t change if need be . How classy is that ?

    If a SB is disrespectful then you should not torture yourself by staying in the hunt . Whenever I did that before it ended badly . If she is not into you then move on . If she exhibits disrespectful personality traits then move on .

  126. SouthernGent2 says:

    For all of us guys that like the coeds – keep in mind that spring break is approaching, and that many college girls might be on the site in an effort to get spring break funds. Keep that in the back of your mind. Don’t let a girl drain the wallet with false promises and such about how she is going to return the favor. Good chance she may disappear after spring break.

  127. SouthernGent2 says:

    PhoneGuy – though the girl is new, the cancellation she made was rude and in poor taste. Sometimes I simply think people don’t care what they do to someone else.

    To my way of thinking, a cancellation is always a sign she may not be interested. Without a legit reason for the cancel, then I am not one to be so fast to reschedule. She has to show me that she is truly interested and wants this to happen. One of the biggest mistakes some of the new girls make is not showing a bit of flirty interest.

    I am guessing you have back-up plans and other options. Its always a good idea. There will almost always be a favorite, but you need to be playing a couple of others to keep them on the hook when / if the time is needed.

  128. SouthernGent2 says:

    DaddyGT – I meant to address the message to you just above. You and Guru use same format lol.

  129. Midwest SB says:

    Good morning sugars!

    Daddy GT – In many aspects, you are right. I see it as an opportunity to address a cancellation the first tine around…not after several offenses. It just makes a woman realize that he won’t stand for it…even if she had a minor thing like a babysitter canceling. Cancellations do happen, I say a one-time forgiveness policy with an option to cancel / modify the arrangement. I think it sets an important precedent. If you walk away from a potential or an arrangement for one cancellation, then I feel it would be a bit too harsh. There will be exceptions and canceling 11 minutes before the date is one that I would not tolerate without a VERY good reason.

  130. SouthernGent2 says:

    Guru – I paid my dues with the long term girl. I guess everyone has to pay dues, learn from mistakes, etc. She knew how to play me in a lot of ways. I actually walked away from her twice, but came back because she begged me to come back (though I tried to meet a couple of other during the time away period). The final 4-5 months we were together worked out much better than the first two times together. But then she got a serious bf. I could tell she had changed because of him, so we decided to part ways when her cell kept ringing and texting (and she didn’t know what to do about it since I was there). She has gone on to marry that guy, so good for her.

    Now I simply tell a girl that there are two weeknights that work for me when I travel. If they work for you, then we are good. If they don’t, then things will not work. Further, I tell them they will always get about a week’s notice from me. How can I make things much simpler than that?

  131. PhoneGuy says:

    Thanks to everyone for their helpful advice. I appreciate.

    Yes I was asking 2 different questions. One about the first meet with a pot SB yesterday and another about flaking in general.

    Thanks all.

  132. NewYorkGirl says:

    Just got home. I Took my sister (who is visiting the USA) to Waldorf-Astoria . I was first time in there too. I am shocked! 6 escort girls (with a pimp? What is the term?) in the small /not so big bar. many security guards in there and they “do not see” anything.
    I have been in many fancy hotels/clubs in California and NYC but see this for the first time. I usually go to the Plaza or the Pierre for drinks and there is so quiet and a family friendly atmosphere .
    But it is very very beautiful in the hotel, we took a lot of pictures.

  133. DaddyGT says:

    Looks like you are having a really bad run. I do hope it improves soon. Poofing, flaking and cancellations like that are one reason to keep thing really simple for meet #1. Coffee. Not even lunch. Helps verify that the other person is not only who they say they are, but that they will turn up too, with little overhead, both in terms of logistics and time.

    It is always easy to say “Next!!”. At least for me. Unfortunately I am one of those blessed with the “I can walk away in under 30 minutes flat” gene that De Niro talks about in Heat (great movie BTW).

    Cancelling date #1 is really bad form. Cancelling 11 minutes before the meet is criminal. Depending on logistics, you are already committed, have travelled to her, and to borrow from the ladies, spent a bit of time and effort “Dudin’ yourself up for courtin'”. Once you have cancelled like that, I am already in “Next!!” mode, and the onus is now on you to not only reschedule but also to convince me to give you another shot.

    If arrangement is in place, cancelling a regularly scheduled meet is bad form, especially if you don’t make alternative arrangements. I have always thought that the onus is on the party declining or cancelling a meet to make the alternative arrangements, to show their interest.

    Thus. I can’t meetup this Friday. My cat is getting a haircut. Sorry!” is a bit suspect, whilst I can’t meetup this Friday. My cat is getting a haircut. Can we get together on Thursday instead!” is certainly more encouraging.

    Good luck @PhoneGuy. Hope your choice of SB improves. Again though, invest as little as possible in date #1, till you are sure that someone is genuine.

    It is all in the delivery. If someone was handing out roses to strangers, I might be worried. If a girl gave me a rose and I had to endure an entire tube journey with her, I might be worried. If on the other hand, a cute girl gave me a rose, with a big smile, and wished me “Happy Valentine’s”, as she was getting off tube (or some such “no ulterior motive scenario”), I would be well chuffed. Well chuffed indeed.

    I feel your pain. I suppose I have been fortunate in being totally more flexible about rescheduling. That said, you are so right, it gets very old very quickly, and if someone can’t block out just 2 nights per month for you, then they really aren’t trying very hard. And seriously, given your explanation, your SB must have known just how much more of an impact cancellations would have on you.

    Just out of interest, how did it end, and how do you try and screen out for that sort of behaviour now?

    on new SBs being nervous
    I suppose one should make an allowance for new SBs. That said though, I would far much rather a pot SB was slow in agreeing to meet in the flesh, than have her agree and then cancel 11 minutes from zero hour. That is just very very bad form. I also like keeping other channels of communication open till the day before too. So, if we are meeting tomorrow, we will speak today, where I will reconfirm meeting, time and venue. If I have to travel, I might even drop an email or text saying I am leaving the office/home to head to the meeting an hour or so beforehand. So cancelling this close to time, is a definite no, no.

    @Midwest SB
    In my rather limited life, I have concluded that people rarely change, and that if their actions are one thing, and their words another, believe the actions. Talks to “improve things or else lower allowance” might lead to short term improvements (delivered grudgingly), but this rarely lasts. Now, I am far more ruthless. Next! The sugar bowl is fairly rigged in favour of SDs and so I would rather just stop the arrangement when it is not working, than try and have a heart to heart talk, which very quickly crosses the “No Drama” barrier.

    As @DorkyGuy points out, if this is an arrangement that you want and that benefits you, you will make the effort to make sure that cancellation on your part does not leave me feeling, well, short-changed. Once you start feeling like that, it is time to move on. And quickly.

  134. Stormcat says:

    Midwest ~ I may have been the one who misanswered because when I read the post about it being his pot sb I assumed it was a first meet and thought that someone who was going to flake wouldn’t have bothered to cancel at all. Since she did I thought of other explanations and asked if she was a newbi. Then offered my reason for asking. Now I see that Phoneguy actuall posed a different question than I was addressing. Hence the confusion.

    • SD Guru says:


      I’m sorry to hear what happened. Your experience was not new nor unique, and it happens on both sides of the sugar aisle. You asked several questions and here’s my take:

      Ugh, my dinner with a pot SB was cancelled by her 11 minutes before we were to meet…

      I assume this is your first meeting, and in that case I’d suggest that you re-confirm the meeting the day before or the day of, and then request her to text you when she’s on her way. Whether and when she texts you will give you an indication if she’s coming or if she’ll be late. There is still no guarantee she will show up, but it should minimize the chances for last minute surprises.

      “Do you have a zero tolerance policy for flaking?”

      Since flaking is so common, a zero tolerance policy would seem impractical. It takes flexiblity to be successful in the sugar world so you should look at it case by case.

      What happens if your SB (which whom you have an arrangement) does a no call, no show? Do you drop her the first time? The second?

      It depends on several factors. The more you like a SB, the more BS you’re probably willing to put up with. You’ll have to determine whether the no show is a rare occurrance or part of a pattern based on your history and interaction with the SB. Remember, don’t reward bad behavior!

      How about just cancellations in general?… How many cancellations with perfectly fine sounding explanations before you just don’t care what the reason is anymore?

      If cancellation becomes a pattern of behavior then it’s definitely a red flag. As for how many it takes, it’s up to each person to decide what their tolerance level is.

      I’m a little surprised by how many problems there have been… Is it just me?

      It’s definitely not just you. But if this pattern continues then you should re-evaluate your target segment and screening process. If you’re attracted to women who tend to be flaky, then either find a way to deal with it or target a different segment.

  135. Tina says:

    BUT Dorky, if she’s new and dealing with stage fright, be HONEST about it! That’s what the draw to this lifestyle is all about – it’s a chance to cut through all the B.S. of traditional relationships and be open and honest about what it is and what you want. It’s ok to be scared, it’s ok to have some misgivings, but it is NOT ok to make a commitment and back out of it.

    I think it’s interesting that it’s mostly the SDs willing to give her another chance, and the SBs being a little more rigid…..at least, that’s the trend at the moment for the few comments there are…..

  136. DorkyGuy says:

    Here is what strikes me… Supposedly this is an arrangement that the SB wants, and supposedly this is having a big benefit to her life. Supposedly it is important to her. If she can’t do that little bit, then obviously she doesn’t want the arrangement. If she doesn’t want the arrangement, then why pursue her? The only exception I can think of is if it is somebody brand new dealing with stagefright.

  137. Midwest SB says:

    I’m afraid I’m with Tina. Unless I misunderstood, you two have agreed to an arrangement and this isn’t the first offense. I would find a way to let her know it’s unacceptable. She should respect your time. Something to the affect of “if you would like to modify the arrangement, we can do xyz”, maybe less time for la lower allowance, and see if she realizes her cancellations are impacting you.

  138. jenniebug says:

    @PhoneGuy- The fact that she called and cancelled was at least somewhat conciderate. There are alot of people on the site that wouldn’t even bother to call at all. I’ve met with others that will show up two hours late, after I’ve already left. They would swear that we were supposed to meet at a later time. I would have to agree with stormy on this one. She may be nervous about the initial meeting. Give her a few days before writing it off completely.

  139. ContentSB says:

    @PhoneGuy — I’m with @Stormcat on this one. If she’s new, and it was her first time, extend a little grace. Keep talking to her and continue to give her some reassurance. Try again in a week or two, and if she bails again, then at least you can say you tried, and move on.

  140. SouthernGent2 says:

    PhoneGuy – I totally understand your problem. The one girl I saw really long term would try to change things on me in the last hours. It got to where it was almost predictable. We had agreed to see each other two nights per month (every other week). I even told her the two nights that would work best for me. So I am asking for two nights out of 30, though she has to block out four nights until I give her notice which night of the two I asked for works for me.

    Now to me that seems so easy. And what girl could not go along with that? And at first it worked, but then came texts about birthday parties, I feel bad, etc etc. It got old fast, and what made it worse was her suggesting “lets do such and such night” knowing full well I could not see her on those particular nights.

    I don’t like getting to the point of being controlling or overbearing, but one asks for two nights out of 30, then there is little reason for her to cancel (unless its a genuine emergency).

  141. jenniebug says:

    Newbie sb’s rock! Gotta love em!

  142. Tina says:

    @ PhoneGuy – I’ll apologize for her rudeness on behalf of all SBs. For me, it is extremely impolite to cancel a date, but even more impolite when it is that late in the night. (This is, of course, barring any immediate emergencies, but honestly, how many can a person have?)

    For someone that cancels on a regular basis, this tells me that they don’t have control over their own life. For someone to not be able to handle making plans and keeping them, with “issues” popping up all of the time, I would start to wonder how they manage to get out of bed and dress themselves daily. (A little harsh, I know, but it is what it is). *Disclaimer – those that have jobs that require them to be on call are exempt from this when the only dating time is during on call duty*

    Traditional relationship or non, if you want to be with a person you will keep your commitments to spend time with them when made.

  143. Stormcat says:

    Phone guy ~ Is she a newbie? If so have a heart and help her out. It’s very scarey for the first few times.!

  144. Tina says:

    @ DaddyGT re: wine

    My dear, I completely agree. Drink what you like, like what you drink, hell, just enjoy it all.

    @ Dorky: ooooh, spankings? Am I too late on this subject to sign up for one?

  145. PhoneGuy says:

    Ugh, my dinner with a pot SB was cancelled by her 11 minutes before we were to meet…which makes me ask, “Do you have a zero tolerance policy for flaking?”

    Not just on the first date, when it is easy to say “next”. What happens if your SB (which whom you have an arrangement) does a no call, no show? Do you drop her the first time? The second?

    How about just cancellations in general? I got dressed up, made reservations, was excited about the whole thing. How many cancellations with perfectly fine sounding explanations before you just don’t care what the reason is anymore?

    I’m a little surprised by how many problems there have been getting together with girls (or let’s just say people to make this generic) on this site with how few dates I have set up.

    Is it just me?

  146. babydoll says:

    mis~spelling ~ haha that made me laugh,nawty molly 😀

    @Englsih rose~the one person you have to speak to about this is my Sd,he shops till he drops online,sends them to me and i have a cupboard full dedicated to them,all of just the last 3 months!
    blimey,if there will ever be that lingerie olympics,i would have more outfit change than the Queen haha 😉

    @dutch~aww you are sooo sweet,i hope i will catch up with you girls on Saturday if me and Sd wont go anywhere else after our lunch date xxx

    having probs with my connection at my studio,couldnt get into anywhere on net :(((( booo!!!

    and ladies if an Sd would give you lingerie as a gift,would you be offended if he will give you something other than what you prefer?(brand.color)

    for me,i think i wont mind as long as its my size and would look good in it…

  147. DorkyGuy says:

    U r going to spank ER and Molly?” ~NewYorkGirl

    Well, somebody has to… might as well be me 🙂 and it seems you need a good spanking too, for using “u r”

    This is pretty close to my Castle Anthrax fantasy… “spank me!… and me! … and me!”

  148. EnglishRose says:

    Heehee, Castle Anthrax.

  149. EnglishRose says:

    Good suggestion Dorky…the funny thing is, I went on the local college website & they don’t seem to have any of these special classes you’re talking about…quite disappointed.

    Hahahahha, oh my, that made me laugh so much! But now you have uncovered a new hole in my life…I don’t have a Carl!
    This is terrible news.
    But at least I can get away with spelling langeray wrong right? 😀

    It’s so great being beautiful with no brains to trouble myself with!! Laa dee daa…

    @SD Guru
    I think between the two I’d definitely go for AP, it tend’s to be a little more “creative”.

    Always panties over the garter belt! They always display it the other way round but, well, we know better right? 😉

    RE: Flowers
    I can’t believe how much they mark up roses for Valentines, personally I wouldn’t mind getting a different sort of flower, I don’t think men should feel they always need to buy roses.
    But then again I just love flowers so much that I’m pleased with whatever I get 🙂
    Love what you did with the flour, it’s great when someone you know make’s the effort to be original.
    RE: Vodka Bar
    Oh, and that vodka place? It wasn’t a small Russian Restaurant Bar, at the end of a street? Pomkin, potekin something? I seem to remember going to a place which I think was near Holborn – had over 150 different types of vodka, amazing!
    RE: Valentines
    I really like your idea of handing out roses to strangers – do you really think a guy would like this? He wouldn’t just be creeped out? Haha.
    But yes – sharing the love indeed! 🙂
    RE:Sushi on a girl
    Hmm….I think I’m going to have to agree, I would find it hard just lying there watching my man eat the sushi as well! Maybe a third party would be…useful in this scenario.
    RE: AP Dress
    Glad you think so 🙂 Are you thinking of Christina Hendricks? I have quite the girl crush on her….sushi & Christina Hendricks, now there’s something I couldn’t say no to.

    @Dutch Girl
    You know you are far too sweet? Really, you don’t have to get me flowers or treat me! Bless you, that’s so nice.
    And you deserve every one of those Pots & more, can’t wait to see how it all pans out for you!

  150. jenniebug says:

    @Brandon- I think we need a new blog topic. Once the posts reach over 500, my tablet starts acting up. This males it hard to type. Grrr…

  151. NewYorkGirl says:

    U r going to spank ER and Molly?

  152. jenniebug says:

    @Emily- Yep, valentines day is celebrated in other country’s. Is it sad that Google that question to get a response?

  153. DorkyGuy says:

    If you misspell on purpose, the spanking must be applied to the bare bottom… No padding for you!

    Lol! You are going to be “Nawty” Molly to me forever now… That is awesome

  154. jenniebug says:

    @Nawty Molly yes I think it does count. Lol

    That post took me awhile to decipher. After that, I jumped for joy. “I cracked code!!!.”

  155. Nawty Molly says:

    Ef wi Mispel on perpos dus dat kount? 😉

  156. jenniebug says:

    @ Ballet Dancer.- I think just being honest. With a potential SD is the way to go. I would just say something like this. I don’t own a car,, I’m saving to buy one. I don’t want to set myself up with expensive monthly payments that i can’t afford, and driving a $500 beater is counter productive
    Then I would go on to explain that if you found a good SD, one of your goals would be to get into a car. Of course I speek from expirence with this. A good SD will make travel arrangements for you to come see them, or come to you until you are into a car.

  157. DorkyGuy says:

    “ER ~ I’m sure no man cares how it’s spelt when you’re wearing it. :mrgreen:” ~StormCat

    … I would care…. Naughty girls who cannot spell must be spanked! Especially the English ones. Speaking of which, the Castle Anthrax would make a lovely vacation destination.

    “When Victoria’s Secret just won’t do, there is AP… and La Perla. Try to keep up!! 😛 “ ~SDGuru

    That is why you are the guru, and I am just a humble understudy

  158. jenniebug says:

    Hmm, sugar Olympics… I wonder what the events would be for this? Would power shopping constitute as a sport for the games?

    I think there should be a giant sa keroke party. I could imagine a whole bunch of sbs and sds all dressed in their favorite costumes, after a few drinks.

  159. Emily says:

    This is a question for the foreigners on the site. Is Valentine’s Day celebrated in your countries?

  160. Dutch Girl says:

    @English Rose I am going to get you some flowers for Valentine’s – Can I give them to you Saturday though, I will treat you to wine and tapas too.

    @DaddyGT I will check if that Vodka bar is still there and report back.

    What is it with the sugar bowl? It is now raining men and I can’t fit the Pots in my diary. One suggested taking me to AP as a first meet shopping expedition (I revealed I was a swimwear model in my student years) he is quite a ‘visual’ guy, is a lingerie shopping expedition as a first meet too weird or not?

  161. SKitty says:

    @DaddyGT – It seemed that age preferences were such that I was close to the “handle with care” category. My problem is I am being a little backwards/slow and didn’t do the fresh out of high school/new college student thing of going nuts. Now I am at the point where I want to be corrupted and I am having problems finding someone willing to corrupt me.

    Happy News! I had a meet today with my pot SD (no sugar yet so not official yet) and there is potential for a weekend get away in the next month. That and I might have convinced him to corrupt me, we’ll see.

  162. DaddyGT says:

    OK, this is probably going to be long catchup post

    @SD Guru
    Yes, there are bad positions. I’d say anything that causes permanent muscle damage certainly falls into that category.

    My celibate self is staying at home. I’ve never been into Valentine’s though. I’ve always thought that having to show your affections on cue, once a year was a bit silly. Have never been able to get worked up about dinner in some otherwise nice establishment that has decided to go kitsch on the love theme, and is cramming dining couples elbow to elbow.

    re:Valentine’s II
    It is a leap year though, so apparently it is OK for the lady’s to ask your man to marry you. Not sure how that would go down in the sugar world though. 🙂 … and don’t forget ladies, March 14th on the other hand is Steak and BJ day. Hahaha!

    re:Valentine’s Flowers
    On this one day of the year, roses are so soooooo overpriced. One year, I’d just hooked up with a new GF. She intimated that sending flowers just a couple of weeks into us as a couple might be overkill. We did have an inside joke on spelling though. So I sent her a packet of FLOUR instead. To her workplace. She did bake me muffins with the flour, so all good on that front.

    @PhoneGuy re:Bowties
    My parents forced me to learn how to do up a bowtie. Thought it was rather silly at the time. Now I am thankful. Very thankful. That said, I have never been a fan of bowties with anything other than a Penguin Suit. They just look too dorky nerdy otherwise.

    You are so right. There is an amazing variety of vodkas. There used to be a great vodka bar in London. Just round the corner from Holborn Tube Station (Maybe the London SB can confirm whether it still exists). they had a huge assortment of vodkas from all over the world. Can’t recall the name, but worth a visit if you love vodka and are in London.

    @Tina re:Wine
    Oh, I have tried a lot of different wines. I just don’t like wine I suppose. On a related note, I have a similar aversion to champagne. Never liked it. A few celebratory sips are great, but champagne all night? Not my thing. Don’t mind at all if my significant other(s) are tucking into their wine and champagne though. 🙂 My general policy regarding alcohol is Stick with what you like, and what you know agrees with your temperament, instead of going with the flow all the time.

    @Geeky SBs
    You can talk nerdy to me all you want. Nerds tend to be smarter than the general population. Beauty and brains is an unbeatable combination. Just don’t wear your Spock ears to bed though. 🙂

    @26 you are not in the unloved age range. If you were a few years older you would certainly fall into the “handle with caution” age though. I suppose though, that this being sugar, boundaries are drawn very early, and very clearly, so there should be no chance of either party interpreting a relationship wrongly.

    on Ties + tie fetishes
    Ties are definitely a chick magnet. When I was younger we’d hit the bars and clubs regularly after work. On far more occasions than I care to remember, I would get back home without a tie. Can get very expensive though 🙂 And I soon learned never to wear a tie I was sentimental about on a night I would probably be heading out right after work! One girl I used to work with, would get the ties off every male in the group, spend the night wearing ties on various parts of her anatomy, and then distribute them back every Monday. Hilarious. Oh to be young again.

    @Tina, on Ties II
    Men’s fashion is quite boring. Even when you get bespoke clothing, it is still quit boring. Particularly in a professional setting. Your tie is pretty much the only way you can really differentiate yourself in a way that stands out. I think most guys will feel the same way about turning up in the same tie as another guy, that women feel about turning up in the same outfit as another woman. Unless it is a black bowtie of course.

    I’ll add one more vote to the many voices that recommend getting a passport. You’ll have a lot more fun travelling to more than the 50 states. I recommend National Geographic’s Travel mag for amazing, luxury, and off the beaten path retreats.

    @EnglishRose re:Valentines
    You have youth on your side. There’s loads of things I had never done @21 that I managed to make up for lost time on. Just enjoy the day. Better yet, buy a rose, and give it to some random bloke on the tube. Make his day. Bonus points if you give it to them just as you are getting off. You will certainly make their day. 🙂 Valentine’s day is all about sharing the love after all, no?

    re:Sushi on a girl
    I’ve always thought that this makes a great centrepiece if I was hosting a dinner party. Not sure I would want my GF or SB (what’s the difference eh?) to be the one playing ‘sushi platter’. Just seems pointless to me. Me nibbling on sushi, trying not to choke on the rice, while she just lies there? Mmmm. Not quite my thing. Now, if my GF had an intimate dinner for two (or three), and sushi girl was a present for either or, then maybe. 😈

    @Midwest re:Oysters
    Oysters, yumm! 🙂 Oysters are brilliant hangover cures. There’s a pub in Notting Hill in London that does them on Sunday morning. Oysters and Hoeggarden beer in the sun on a Sunday! Now that’s the life. Never liked oysters with champagne. But then again, never liked champagne.

    @NewYorkGirl re:Cost of looking good
    I think I would have to agree with Midwest SB. Not something you want to be mentioning to your SB. If you require an allowance before travel, then make it so. Once it gets to “who has invested more in this dinner, the SB or the SD?”, it is a very slippery slope to messy! And in the era of metro-sexual guys, don’t be surprised if his budget for looking good for you matches yours.

    The of course there was an article not too long ago in one of the larger online magazines (Forbes? NYT? Atlantic?), about girls who were using OK Cupid purely as a way to get men to buy them free dinners. Different date every day of the week. No intention of ever dating the guys. Just using them for free dinners. Not tasteful.

    I hope every involved in sugar is better behaved. You know what you want. Hold out for it. Don’t settle. But as Midwest SB, reducing a meet to your maintenance expenses being higher than his dinner spend would be quite the turn-off, particularly for date #1.

    @English Rose
    The dress is nice. Very whats-her-name-from-mad-men. I think more black, and definitely more one for an intimate dinner for two at home rather than a night at Zuma. Lingerie under coats? Mmm. Nice! Some SD will be really lucky soon.

    @Dorky on Agent Provocateur
    With prices like that, I agree, monogamy quickly seems like an appealing prospect. Now, given the alternative choice between working harder on the bu$ine$$, I think I be spending a few more late nights in the office 🙂

    @Content SB – on singing
    You are not alone. My entire family is musical. Except me. I do belt out a mean tune or two in the shower though. Now, if I could just replicate those shower acoustics in the real world, I’d be set 🙂

    on SB Olympics
    Must definitely be a summer games though. And given that it is 2012, London SBs have it. You’ll have to come up with a great events roster though.

    @BalletDancer – on cars
    I have to disagree with DorkyGuy. I’d be more enamoured by “I don’t own a car. I don’t need one here for my day to day life.” than by “I don’t drive”. Heck, your SD might offer to rent a car for you to make it easier to get to him. I suppose it is cultural though, and depends where you live.

    For most of the time that I lived in London, I did not own a car. More trouble than it is worth. No parking. Expensive parking. A depreciating asset you never use. Etc. etc.. Most of the single and young people I know do not own a car. It is far far much easier to use public transport, and cabs, (and when you need it, to rent a one) than it is to own a car.

    Not sure where you are though, so YMMV.

  163. NewYorkGirl says:

    I love lingerie ,
    To me to wear nothing is boring.
    should I just email you my fav one? Just coz it is difficult to describe with my English. 🙂 (it is a green smiley).

    La Perla or AP … Depends (yes, on a guy).
    Some guys like lace (La perla or VS)

    And some like the smooth feeling of satin/silk (no lace ) then you press your bodies
    together…Then AP. The only important thing to remember NB: the garter goes underneath panties (put the garter before you put on panty or you have to redo everything and would be 20 min late).

    Did I answer your Q? :))

  164. Nwsugarbaby says:

    @Guru I agree with Anna Molly I wear nothing or just some cute panties. I haven’t experienced either AP or La Perla, but I do love some of the high end stuff Victoria Secret has.

  165. Anna Molly says:

    Guru ~ I prefer to wear nothing, but, if I have to choose I would go with La Perla. 😉

  166. Anna Molly says:

    Hey! What’s wrong with wearing glasses? lol 😀

    I wear glasses when I read. 🙂

    • SD Guru says:

      Where do I buy tickets for the sugar lingerie olympics?? :mrgreen:

      Regarding Agent Provocateur…. oh my god the lingerie is beautiful. Absolutely stunning. But wow, the prices.

      When Victoria’s Secret just won’t do, there is AP… and La Perla. Try to keep up!! 😛 Ladies, which one do you prefer?

      Would you be okay with a SB that doesn’t have a car?… I just don’t want to come off broke

      It depends on where you’re located and whether it will cause problems with what you do with your pot SD. Not having a car doesn’t automatically convey that you’re broke. If you’re at a city where it’s common not to have a car, such as NYC and London, then it’s no big deal. But if you’re at a city where a car is needed to get around, then not having one could send up a red flag. SB’s with unreliable transportation can cause all sorts of problems for a SD, whether they have a car or not.

      The woman who wrote the vanity fair article on sugar dating also wrote an article on naked-sushi-modeling.

      Yes she did. You can see a list of her articles on her web site. I wonder what’s the correlation between sugar dating and naked sushi… ❓

  167. Stormcat says:

    ER ~ when you wrote @BalletDancer I don’t have a car!
    I thought you wrote “I don’t have a Carl”: and I thought to myself “wtf is a Carl? Some nickname for a common sex toy?”
    OMG maybe I’m going to have to start wearing glasses! 🙁

  168. Stormcat says:

    ER ~ I’m sure no man cares how it’s spelt when you’re wearing it. :mrgreen:

  169. DorkyGuy says:

    @EnglishRose~ Beautiful young women who cannot spell should attend special tutoring wearing said lingerie!

    @StormCat~ SD Olympic Events: Opportunities for contest abound! Dapper Dressing; Wine/Meal matching; Jewelry evaluating; Gift wrapping, Jewelry box whittling, and the most important event would be the size of their silk tie collection.

  170. EnglishRose says:

    A sadder world is one in which “lingerie” is spelt incorrectly, sorry.

  171. EnglishRose says:

    It’s a sad world where beautiful lingere is not freely donated to young, struggling women eh? I think I should set up a charity.

    I don’t have a car! It’s funny you should mention it, I must admit I’ve never been embarssed in the slightest. Car’s are expensive! Insurance is atrocious for anyone under 25, fuel is even more expensive, I know my friend pays about £500/$800 every time she has an M.O.T
    But then I hear that cars are a lot cheaper in the US?

    But still, you’re an SB, a pot doesn’t expect you to be well-off, and any SD that looks down on you for being broke (even if you weren’t) isn’t worth his salt!

  172. Stormcat says:

    I’ve heard that the only safe sex is over the phone but I’m not sure I believe it!

    ER ~ I’m not sure they could even broadcast sugar olympics at all. I’m thinking about SB events like speed modeling, 50 yard runway walk, syncronized shopping, creative karaoke etc. I haven’t come up with any SD or couple events yet. You got any ideas?

  173. Nwsugarbaby says:

    I did gymnastics when I was young and danced til high school. I was really into horses and put more effort into that. I also really enjoy running and other sports.

    @balletdancer I think it depends on your pot if you tell him or not. for example if you are going to fly to see him its not a big deal however if he lives an hour away by car then it would be something he would need to know. seeing how you live in a major city there should be a good sugar daddy who can accommodate you. it would be good though to hear opinions from SBs who have been in that position. I have a car since there isn’t good transportation around here.

  174. DorkyGuy says:

    @BalletDancer~ Instead of saying “I don’t have a car”, why not say “I don’t drive”? It communicates the same thing, but without the implication that you are broke.

  175. BalletDancer says:

    Hey all, I’m back. Had a wee bit of room mate drama, so I cut those ties and got a place on my own. My first apartment, and I’m already going a bit over the top decorating it. Is it sad that I’d rather sleep on the floor if the rest of the place looks pretty, than just buy a bed set and wait on the decorating?

    I skated when I was young, up until 12 or so, but then the rink shut down in my town and I ended up dancing. I do miss it though, and even tried to get back into it for a while. On that note, I have a huge amount of respect for gymnasts. I was in a technique class last year, and one of the girls was a National Champion rhythmic gymnast, she was RIDICULOUSLY flexible, her grand battement a la seconde… let’s just say I may have a lesbian crush at the same time that I’m rather jealous.

    I do have a question for the gentlemen in the room though. Would you be okay with a SB that doesn’t have a car? I live in a major city, and can easily survive without one, my budget doesn’t allow for one, and my beast of a junker from back home didn’t pass the smog test -__-. I’m sorta embarrassed to say I don’t have one, should I just be up front about it or….

    Also, for the ladies who don’t have a car; do you tell your Pots that? I just don’t want to come off broke, lol. I’m not at all, but I would be if I had a car!

  176. DorkyGuy says:

    Regarding Agent Provocateur…. Had a look at their website for the first time this morning… oh my god the lingerie is beautiful. Absolutely stunning. But wow, the prices. DaddyGT, I think I just found a good argument for monogamy.

  177. Anna Molly says:

    Oh, you’re welcome, SG2. 🙂

  178. Anna Molly says:

    Hey SG2! I’ve been well! It has been a while my dear! Sounds like you’re doing well! 😉

  179. Anna Molly says:

    Hey Rose!! Riding is so much fun! You should definitely try it! 😀

  180. SouthernGent2 says:

    Thanks Molly. Haven’t spoken to you in ages. How have you been?

  181. EnglishRose says:

    Aw that’s a shame she’s not around, I don’t think I ever saw Cleo’s blogs.
    But thank you 🙂 I just love the 50’s style, it has an understated seductiveness to it.

    Haha, “An Arranged Musical” (all actors have benefited mutually from this production).

    Aw, I really like Gianni Schicchi, it’s such a short simple opera but the message is nice, it’s about giving not taking! 🙂 ….Though I suppose Schicchi came out on top.
    Nothing wrong with a bit of karaoke 😉 I have to stop myself from singing all the time, & then take full advantage when I get the house to myelf!

    Oh yes, it’s says right below the comments! That’s easy – silly me 🙂
    Ahhh..even AP walls are beautiful. I can’t stop looking through the website now, I think I’m going to have to find an SD who a fetish for expensive lingerie, haha 🙂

    You don’t want football, you want a contact sport like rugby! …Oh wait…you mean American football, of course, never mind – ignore me! But I’m liking this idea, I’m very competitive 😀

    Haha, Sugar Olympics, that would be fantastic. Why do I have a feeling they wouldn’t be able to show it in the day time though? Hm…

    @Anna Molly
    Show horses sounds like such fun, I’ve actually never ridden on a horse! Definitely on my to do list. Closest I’ve come is riding a donkey at the beach when I was about 9….not really the same I’m guessing? 😉

  182. Anna Molly says:

    I can’t skate at all but I did show horses when I was a teenager. 🙂

  183. Naughty Molly says:

    SG2 ~ You have a new follow request! 😀

    Morning everyone! Time to catch up I suppose! 😀

  184. SouthernGent2 says:

    Just received a $14.40 royalty check. Any pretty coeds want to meet me at Chick Fil-a for lunch? 😉

  185. NewYorkGirl says:

    I can not possibly like Lysacek coz in love love love Johnny Weir. 🙂
    But I met Lysacek a few times and even present him a cap which says “Orgasm Donor”.
    Girls from his fan club asked me to bring him a few presents , they mailed it to me.
    And I do have Lysacek’ picture in this cap! Coz photography is one of my passions too.

    I do not like too much any of russian skaters but I think Stephane Lambiel is the sweetest guy and fluid gold on ice. 🙂

  186. SouthernGent2 says:

    Its funny how some coeds think their time is so important. Yes, respectfully your time is important. But only if you know how to manage your time.

    Follow me on Twitter @SGent2

  187. Stormcat says:

    Dorky ~ “Don’t dismiss the athletic talent of the lingerie football league”
    Now that’s an event that I don’t want to miss.
    Hey maybe we can get Brandon to organize a Sugar Olympics.
    Hmmm . . . What would be the events? Where would it take place? Who would be the judges? What prizes? Oh too complicated!

  188. DorkyGuy says:

    Don’t dismiss the athletic talent of the lingerie football league 😛

  189. ContentSB says:

    @meg — haha…and watch the claws come out! 🙂

    I seriously admire gymnasts and ballerinas…they have insane talent! These 3 sports require so much grace and athleticism that gets overlooked so often. I love the phrase “If figure skating were easy it would be called hockey.” 😉

  190. meg says:

    Oh my god, so many figure skater-SBs. Lol…

    I have a great blog-idea: a three-way debate between gymnast, ballerina, & figure skater as to who makes the best SB.

  191. ContentSB says:

    @NewYorkGirl — I love it!! My male figure skater crushes are kind of odd…but I had a dream about Todd Eldredge that suddenly made him WAY sexy haha! Brian Boitano is another favorite…Alexei Yagudin…and of course Evan Lysacek…YUM! Male partners of pairs and ice dancing couples are always sexy too just because of the way they handle women! super hot!

  192. NewYorkGirl says:

    Good night.
    Midwest… I am still thinking how to verbalize what i feel about the maintainence :)))

  193. NewYorkGirl says:

    ER. It is easy to post a picture. U can see the red “click here” at the bottom of this page.

    I love AP and I was trying things on and took a few pics of me at this beautiful walls at AP 🙂
    And just the wall. Lucky for everyone i posted here just the wall. 🙂

  194. NewYorkGirl says:

    Content and Meg! I am a skater too. 🙂
    Exactly- ice skating gives brain the needed rest.
    And I am so in love with the coach Nikolay Morozov he is so sexy,
    And he teaches only 30 mins away from Manhattan.
    I used to party with him a lot but was too shy …. I have a few pics with him from world championship and OG in Canada .

  195. ContentSB says:

    Oooh…if only it wouldn’t have been creepy/illegal to have a SD back then…I could’ve had SO many more beautiful dresses for testing and competitions!!! That sport ruined me…I’m still a sucker for all things glitter, sequence, and jewels haha.

  196. ContentSB says:

    @Meg — Exactly! It’s so nice to have a few activities you can rely on for a bit of an escape. I quit before my senior year because I was so drained. My coach was a Vietnam vet and did not relate well to teenage girls haha…so he and I got into quite often…and the sport just lots its appeal for me. Plus, it’s a year round sport, and I wanted to be able to enjoy senior year without having to always go to bed early for 5 am practices, then rush back to the rink after school for another couple of hours. I’m sure you understand! It just requires so much time and dedication!

  197. meg says:

    @ContentSB – absolutely agree!!

    Unfortunately, now only rarely. I quit too early, went off to high school, then traveled a lot, so couldn’t keep up.

    Swimming, bicycling and skating, though, are among the only things I can do and completely let my mind drift off…oh, and photography. You know, in that get in the zone kind of way.

  198. meg says:

    @SDGuru – re naked Sushi –

    The woman who wrote the vanity fair article on sugar dating also wrote an article on naked-sushi-modeling.

    It was a one-time thing, I think, so assuming you missed it.

  199. ContentSB says:

    @Meg — A fellow skater!!! I feel like we already have a bond other people just won’t understand lol! I don’t skate nearly as much as I used to…but I still love to get on the ice. I think it’ll always be one of the few things I can do to mentally escape and let my stress melt away, even if it’s just for an hour. I’m hoping to start coaching again in the fall. The club here is ISI affiliated, and I grew up with USFSA, so my levels aren’t really transferring well to this club. I’m planing on moving this summer, so hopefully wherever I end up the club will be USFSA sanctioned 🙂

    Do you ever skate anymore??

  200. ContentSB says:

    @Meg — Well…I *could* sing on stage…but it would sound pretty haha 🙂 and I’m ok with that…my car is the perfect stage for me!

    Seriously laughed out and loud (and am still giggling) about your closeted gay men comment. Too funny!

  201. meg says:

    @ ContentSB – I was also a figure skater until I started high school! Unfortunately, no team…that sounds like so much fun! (to watch and to do…)

    Do you still skate in your off-time?

  202. Tina says:


  203. meg says:

    @ ContentSB – Missy- if you can sing in your car, you can sing on-stage.

    My musical faze lasted 5-20-ish. Joseph & the Amazing Techi-color Dream Coat, West Side Story, Jesus Christ Super Star, Evita. (my guess as to why I kept falling in love with closeted gay guys? They’d sing show-tunes with me while drunk in public…)

  204. meg says:

    See that pretty girl in that mirror there.

    [What mirror? Where!?]

    Who can that attractive girl be-ee…
    such a pretty face, such a pretty dress such a pretty smile such a pretty…

  205. ContentSB says:

    I’m so jealous of you talented ladies who can sing and act! The only time I sound AMAZING is when I’m in my car alone…and of course nobody ever believes me. Go figure 😉

    I did go through a musical obsession phase in high school. My favorite was Aida, but sadly I’ll never get to see it 🙁 Adam Pascal’s voice still makes me melt. I was a figure skater for 12 yrs growing up and was part of a synchronized skating team (one of the coolest most under-rated sports ever! YouTube the “Haydenettes” sometime when you’re bored..incredible synchro team!!) and our footwork sequence was from Aida. Still one of my favorite routines, including individual ones!

  206. Tina says:

    “and I pity any girl who isn’t me toooOOOOoooniiiiight”

  207. SKitty says:

    Curses on you all. Now I am going to have to watch musicals to get my fix!

    For some reason… “I feel pretty and witty and bright…”

  208. Midwest SB says:

    ER – I played a small role in Gianni Schicchi in my short musical theater career (along with a passion for baroque). I miss singing dearly, but now, I just stick to karaoke.

  209. Tina says:

    I’m cool with it as long as dancing sheep marionettes don’t start running around the screen….

  210. Midwest SB says:

    ER – Soooooo sexy! You and former blogger Cleo would be great friends as she loves AP! I love your taste in music and fashion!

    SA meets Glee….yo de lady, yo de lady, yo de low….

  211. DorkyGuy says:

    By the way, if Julie Andrews is ever looking for a sugarbaby, I’ll do it for free!

  212. EnglishRose says:

    Heehee…all the boys running.

    Sigh of pleasure….ooo…beautiful. How did you know I’d like that eh? …Oh wait, because I’m a girl. 😛
    How do you post an image directly onto the blog by the way?

  213. EnglishRose says:

    No I haven’t, I have this feeling they won’t have it my size though, particularly, the er…cough…upper chest.
    It is very very sexy, ideally if I could buy this I would have it adjusted so it covers the chest a little more (a border of red silk perhaps?) which means I could wear it out. …But maybe a border of red silk that is removable, 😀
    ….Okay, enough fantasising!

    I love wearing lingerie under large coats, I know it’s not very original but it’s always fun! I’m sure your SD was pleased 😉

    @Dorky Guy
    Doing a little dance……Don’t stop, don’t stop!
    “Well, a Roman troop was ridin’ by, and saw them in their “me oh my”

    Not too sure if you should write “doooo” in your profile, haha, but otherwise it’s good ;p Haha… now for some reason I can’t stop envisioning you singing…

  214. Tina says:

    Aww, so purdy!

  215. NewYorkGirl says:

    ER… Just trying to inspire you 🙂

  216. NewYorkGirl says:


  217. Tina says:

    Oh most definitely Dorky dear! You’ll bring all the boys running!

  218. DorkyGuy says:

    @Tina ~ Don’t even get me started on Sound of Music! “You need someone… older and wiser… telling you what to doooo…”… Should I put that lyric as part of my profile?

  219. Tina says:

    Are you more worried about your manliness or your straightness? And I wouldn’t worry too much about it – if Hugh Jackman can play Wolverine and also do Oklahoma, I think you’re good to go 🙂

  220. DorkyGuy says:

    @EnglishRose~ “Goin’ courtin’… goin’ courtin’… Dudin’ up to go and see your gal…” Ok, I am a little worried that I am a straight man and I know these songs by heart…

  221. Tina says:

    Good evening fellow bloggers, hope all had a wonderful day so far. The conversation has taken an interesting twist………

  222. NewYorkGirl says:

    Did you try this dress on?
    Try it , take picture in AP amazing fitting room and mail it to me. 🙂

    The dress is sexy , good to show up for SD date .
    But I do not know if you would be able to go out for a drink first? coz it is too sexy for many bars /restaurants?

    Have a funny story. one time I went for a date with one SD in a very very sexy Moschino suit. And he was like let’s go for a drink in a hotel cross the street first (he has an amazing apartment at Times Squire (just above the M&M store) and I said I could not. There were no way I could take off my coat (mink coat) off at any public place – it was so open in front and I did not have anything underneath . so had to drink whatever we had in his apartment .

  223. Emily says:

    I think the main thing on my wish list would be to find a Sugar Daddy who could teach me how to create wealth the way he did, and of course partially, at least, finance some of that wealth creation. Once you get so old, the men(rich and poor)just lose interest so having a good amount of money of my own some day would be nice. I think a Sugar Daddy should act as a type of mentor as well.

  224. EnglishRose says:

    @Southern Charm/New York Girl
    Oopsie! Meant Samantha of course – just shows how much I watch the programme!
    And glad you like the idea Southern 🙂 Let us know if you through with it!
    Thanks for the encouragement, I shall certainly enjoy time with me, myself & I this Valentines 🙂 Thank you for your contagious positivity as well! Now doesn’t that glass look better half full?

    I need a cold shower just thinking about sushi….mmmm.
    Haha, bless you, aren’t you charming? I feel a blush creeping on…but no, honestly – nothing ever! It’s a little sad, but I shall pretend I do have thousand of suitors & they’re all just so dazzled by my beauty and charm that they don’t dare come forward, haha 😀

    @SD Guru
    I’m saving that picture as reference.

    Damn feminists. I for one would not be screaming about my equal rights if a bunch of young virile brother’s stole me away up into the mountains 😉 It shouldn’t be but “Sobbin Women” is my favourite, haha.

    I love this idea of an SB wish list! There is likely to be a lot of men who scoff at the idea but..well, you’re probably right that it would be a good screening technique.
    Downside…you could have a very nice potential SD who is completely genuine but is leaning towards the more cautious side, and might think you are being greedy/gold digging, and will be put off.
    But that’s not a great risk I suppose…

    Oh my..thinking of wish lists:

    It’s the back of the dress that made me fall in love with it, I think DaddyGT will like this 🙂

    Haha…I am far too shy! I certainly wouldn’t say no but you shall have to do the asking for me 😉 …Not a very good SB am I??

    Ah, theatre! Don’t even get me started, I’m actually an aspiring Musical Theatre Actress (I know, what a cliche) but it’s a consuming passion, I would love to see 7/7 in theatre!

  225. meg says:

    Re. linking my blog so people could contact me – meant SBs [particularly anyone new to the sugar bowl & in need of a safety/advice buddy] & thought it’d save the blog-gods the hassle of passing on email addresses…if that should come up].

    I have a profile on SA, so not trying to circumvent the site!

  226. Stormcat says:

    SKitty ~ What a great point. Note to self: Stock up on all the best chocolate at post Valentines day prices than offer it to the highest bidder along with a chance to sully my tie collection. :mrgreen:

  227. meg says:

    @ Midwest: re. “Interesting, although somewhat inaccurate, reflection of those you mention in your blog about those of us on this blog. It’s just opinion, so no worries.”

    Thanks – Good point! On reflection, the post was primarily about SBs I’ve met off-blog, rather than on-blog; but comments made by one individual on the SA blog simply reminded me of that. I’ve edited it, and will be more careful (and not refer specifically to SA or individuals who use this blog) in the future!!!

  228. SKitty says:

    @englishrose – I shall remember that and if I do ever find myself there lets hope I can behave…

    In my world there is no Valentines Day. It is pre half price chocolate day. Much more fun!

  229. jenniebug says:

    @stormypoo- no current Valentine … but I have a verry special guy in mind this year. I’ve seemed to talk to him alot lately. He rawks!
    @Dorkyguy- There are alot of great cruises running promotions that would be fun for a first sugar date. Last year a potential SD and Iwent on one going out of Florida. We had so much fun.

  230. DorkyGuy says:

    @Midwest~ I would love to do it, but it’s not possible right now… I had a chat with the head Blog Diety, and he seemed open to providing me with access to do some of these things… just timing isn’t good right now. Hoping that in a month or two I’ll have more time to improve blog features. Maybe one of those features would let girls link their wish list? hmmm!

    @Babydoll~ Can you please contact me on my profile? #342017

    @EnglishRose~ 7 Brides is one of my all-time favorite movies. It would never get made today. it would never make it past the feminist screeners.

    @KindredSpirit~ Would love to talk to you more about this off-blog! Blog Gods have my blanket permission to share my email with whomever, but it might be faster to contact me through my profile #342017

  231. Emily says:

    That is a good idea. Years ago, I met men who told me that they thought I’d be beautiful if I would just have a little plastic surgery, but not one of the basteards ever offered to pay for it. That’s not say I’d ever have facial plastic surgery, but if you’re going to recommend that someone ungergo a very expensive procedure like cosmetic surgery or model clothing(clothing can be expensive)for pictures then you should be willing to finance it. In other words, put up or shut up.

  232. Midwest SB says:

    Meg – Interesting, although somewhat inaccurate, reflection of those you mention in your blog about those of us on this blog. It’s just opinion, so no worries.

    DorkyGuy – Still vying for the ability to exchange e-mails through your updates 🙂

  233. meg says:

    Lol…the first date travel story is … pretty much how I got into the sugar-bowl.

  234. NewYorkGirl says:

    Great idea,
    And so good i posted the shoes yesterday ( are from my list. )

    Please send them to me and you get my picture wearing only them.

    (r u sure now you still want to do this …. Or it is kind downside ?

    And please one pair for Eglish rose – she just too shy to ask you :)) right? ER?

  235. KindredSpirit says:

    DorkyGuy, I’m so jealous of this new girl/travel companion you met!! Good for her, and you, and I look forward to hearing how it goes (if you feel cool about sharing later, of course).

    I have done this, met a man off SA for the first time for a trip for pleasure (emailed alot beforehand)…and we had a lovely time together, sight-seeing and conversing. He was like you in being very respectful, not pushing anything at all, and it just so turned out that we did not have sex at all on the trip. It was to “get to know each other” and see the sights/relax together kind of deal. He paid for my plane ticket/room/meals, and while it would have been nice to have been given a little cash for fun, it was not expected so no worries.

    This trip was for two days and I happen to be an independent traveler (and for-fun photographer) anyway, so I didn’t worry if meeting him could be a waste of time. He turned out to be the gentleman I had the gut feeling that he’d be when communicating by email, and we didn’t push to make it into more. NSA, no stress, lots of laughs and even some mutual cuddling! Just fine with me and him, as it’s different for everyone.

    It sounds to me that you have been doing everything “in the book” right to make it comfortable for her, and I just hope she is independent enough not to be the “clingy” type. Midwest is right that it can be nice to have a breather for some hours, then meet up later with stories of what you did when apart (take in a museum, bikeride, etc).

    * DorkyGuy, I’d be happy to communicate more regarding a positive first-meet-travel experience off the blog or answer any questions/give tips from my personal experiences. Also, what you mentioned about going physically slow-but sure with really knowing a person first really struck a chord with me. If you give the blog gods the “okay”, they can share my email with you. 🙂

    I guess my positive first-meet-while traveling stories are an exception, considering all the feedback so far? Perhaps, and it’s also an individual preference. I can meet him before traveling at my home-town, sure, but it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest to do all my own research of where we’d be meeting if I had a very good feeling about him. Even if meeting at the airport went horribly wrong (like he didn’t show, or was an ass), I’d be off on my own, no sweat.

    I simply recommend that SBs don’t do it if they are not 100% comfortable traveling on their own, in case the unfortunate, hopefully rare chance they end up on their own. Research everything for your own comfort (and excitement)! Have a backup plan. Etc.

    My most important tip is to trust your gut feelings, 100%. No doubts, period. 🙂 Peace out.

  236. ContentSB says:

    Totally agree with you @Midwest. I spent 72 hour straight with my former SD, and I couldn’t WAIT to have some time by myself; I was actually relieved when he left. We should have done things differently because that much together time is just too intense, especially right off the bat.

  237. ContentSB says:

    @Dorky — Sounds fun! Plus, it serves as a screening tool for him too…it ensures he’s looking at recent pictures to avoid a girl misrepresenting herself via outdated photos. Where can I sign up for this? 😉

  238. Naughty Molly says:

    DG ~ Awesome Idea! Sounds like fun for both the SB and SD! 😀

  239. Midwest SB says:

    Awesome idea DorkyGuy! It’s a lot like the site where men put funds towards breast implants if a girl talks with them 🙂 I’d be willing to create a wish list…then model the clothes (within reason).

    This is a world of immediate gratification….guys may not be patient enough to wait for that next picture if she makes him wait until she gets her gift.

  240. DorkyGuy says:

    I stumbled on an idea for SBs last night… Never heard it suggested. I wonder how well received it would be?

    Two of the problems SBs have are picture collectors and building a wardrobe. Why not use the one to accomplish the other?

    Set up a wish list with your favorite clothing/lingerie store. When a guy asks for more pictures than really needed, suggest that if he were to purchase something from your wish list, you would be glad to send a photo of yourself wearing the item.

    Sure, not everyone will bite, but some will. Heck, I can think of several sbs that I would do that with just for fun.

    Plus it seems like a potential screening tool for his means and sincerity.

    Am I missing a downside?

  241. Midwest SB says:

    Some of that came out wrong…

    I realize that there is an expense to having a suite or second hotel room instead of a single room, providing a non-refundable plane ticket, additional meals, and the treats that come along with the trip. However, if you’re planning on providing an allowance, it is not gentlemanly to “dangle the carrot” so to speak. Provide the allowance if you agree to enter an arrangement….period. If you have no intention of providing an allowance, then be clear about it. There are different arrangements for different sugars.

  242. Naughty Molly says:

    I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii and California. There is always Bermuda which is fantastic!! If you take a cruise you don’t need a passport, but, you do need an EDL (Enhanced Drivers License) at the very least to travel. Anytime you fly across borders you have to have a passport unfortuately.

    Now, if you really want romantic and cozy and you don’t mind cold weather I suggest Quebec City. Stay at the Chateau Frontenac. They have a fantasic bar, rooms over looking the Saint Lawrence , good food and a great spa. You never have to leave the hotel if you don’t want to, but, there is so much to do there. The museum is amazing, they have a toboggan run right outside the front door and of course shopping. If you go you have to try the Caribou. I was just there for winter carnival and it was an absolute blast and so romantic! In all honesty, I had more fun in Quebec than I did in Bermuda, but, I really don’t mind the cold and when you get back from walking around in the cold weather it just makes the first drink that much better ;). We walked around in a feakin’ blizzard and I had the time of my life. SO MUCH FUN!! THE BEST TRIP EVER!! 😀
    Well, I guess the cat is out of the bag now!! LOL 😀

  243. Midwest SB says:

    NewYorkGirl – I think the gent should cover all travel expenses…including what you do on the trip. The expense of getting together should never come out of the allowance. I also believe that a gent should meet me first before I travel to see him. Only once have I agreed to meet someone while traveling, but he covered my travel expenses and I spent 90% of the time with my friends and family. We met for coffee, then agreed to a long distance arrangement after. All of my arrangements have included an allowance. None of them required the x days for x money conversation. I don’t equate amount of intimacy to allowance.

    I do believe this man was thinking more like a travel daddy…travel expenses, maybe a little gift, spa, shopping, intimacy, but no allowance. It sounds like he is including you in his “all expense paid” business trip… he is writing off the expenses with the exception of your plane ticket. I see the practical side of this, but also feel like it’s too convenient. He won’t respect a woman who “tags along”. I’ve seen it happen more than once. Many women agree to this because it is what they seek or are a) not comfortable with an allowance b) cannot muster the courage to have the allowance discussion or c) naive. I can’t imagine that someone who is genuine about providing an allowance would ask you to visit with a test drive. Personally, I would not accept his offer based on his approach. I have joined SDs on business trips, but only after we have met a few times and we have enjoyed regular weekends together as well…and only if it’s a destination I would enjoy on my own.

  244. NewYorkGirl says:

    NC gent u were doing this WYP dates , so u wrote about your example (not calling you out) but thank you for ur input and opinion, I am sure ur ladies were happy with you).

    Midwest . I did exaggerate things a bit for better understanding :))

    I tell you a secret ( does NOT mean at all any guy have to pay for my expensess ! I live with no SD just fine, and better than fine) . My leaving at UES at least 5.000$ a month – this is a surviving minimum.
    This is NOT exaggeration this is minimum .

    I will think and re read your post and answer you more.

    Of course write this stuff to a pot a turn off, and I do not. Since there are no my pots on this blog… I let myself do it. Thank u for u post for me, and everything I do for myself (dressing up, make up…) to FEEL better and good myself (not for guys).

    My point actually is guys feel / think they investing in a date! by paying for meal …
    I think we invest more – time, make up…. Missing yoga / gym class then go on a date.

    Midwest , do u think it is fair if he pays for air tickets (even 1000$)
    It is normal to write no allowance (but expect sex 3 times a day, and I even do not know if I would like him). Yes, traveling is a big subject .

    • SD Guru says:

      Where’s the naked sushi party?? :mrgreen:

      Re: cost of getting ready for dates

      I’m sure it takes time and money for SB’s to get ready for their sugar dates. But does the same consideration apply when they get ready for a regular date or a girl’s night out??

  245. Naughty Molly says:

    Wow! So much to read and I have no attention span! What’s a girl to do?!?

    Morning everyone!

  246. Hgirl says:

    Ok beautiful blog girls, I need travel suggestions… There is a SB I am really hitting it off with, and we are planning a 3-day trip *somewhere*. I really don’t care where, and she wants me to decide. What are some places you girls have always wanted to visit? The only restriction is that it be in the Continental US (I don’t have a passport).

    Nooooo not San Fran!!!!! It’s all cold and rainy this time of year 🙁

    Why not somewhere like Santa Barbara?

  247. Stormcat says:

    Content ~ I’ve been twice and had planned on making it an annual pilgrimage but alas this year is out for me. I love to hit the off the beat forums where you are hearing and meeting the performers up close and personal. I mostly like the coffee shop Indy culture there but whatever you like you can find it.
    Midwest ~ Mmmmmmmmmm . . . Oysters
    ER, NYG, SC ~ Mmmmmmmmmmmm . . . Sushi Mmmmmmmmmmmmm . . . On a naked woman! All three of you! Okay . . . cold shower time!
    English Rose ~ Oh darling say it isn’t so! The world was blessed when you were born! I can’t imagine that you didn’t have a thousand suitors every Valentines day with flowers and chocolate and champagne!
    Jenniebug ~ Are you anyone’s Valentine this year! 😉

  248. Midwest SB says:

    NewYorkGirl – I know there is a tremendous gap in maintenance costs between NY and the Midwest, but I feel like the expense is inflated.
    I get my hair done every 6 weeks, not every date.
    I get my nails done every 3 weeks, not every date.
    I have my favorite clothes/ shoes in my closet every day… I don’t buy new clothes for every date.
    I have my favorite make-up already, so I don’t purchase new make-up for every date.
    I don’t tan
    I own a razor, hair products, etc. Waxing is a special treat or done when we go on an extended beach weekend.

    My estimated monthly maintenance expenses are much lower than the $400 you quoted. I would not recommend sharing your maintenance expenses with a gent as it could be a serious turn-off. This is up to you to manage…not him. You want to look good all the time…not just for your SD. If it does not fit in your regular budget, then perhaps there are compromises.

    Now, if I”m taking time off work that is unpaid, then I would share that with my SD, or just ask to meet on a time when it doesn’t affect my income. If he is providing me with an allowance already, then I try to find the middle ground. Part of what he is covering is to give me the freedom from work to enjoy myself.

  249. NC Gent says:

    Hi NYGirl — I am going to assume it is a language barrier that made it appear that you are calling me out. I would also like to clarify that those dates were made on WYP with agreed upon amounts. Also, they were very casual lunch dates not dinner dates as you suggested, and I am 100% certain that these women didn’t invest that much in preparing for the date. I am also sure these women didn’t feel like they were taken advantage of, because they all wanted to see me again. There are also several women on this blog that will attest that I have been properly trained; however, it actually was my aunt and not my mom who taught me. Finally, “thank you’ for not directly targeting me in the future.

  250. NewYorkGirl says:

    About traveling.

    One pot SD wanted me to fly to London last week for 3-4 days. He travel a lot but does not live in London.

    I did not ask him anything about the financial part but he wrote.
    He wrote me he would buy me tickets, hotel – he was assuming I stay with him for these a few days. And he wrote in his e mail something like “I buy tickets, pay for all events, dinners we go in London, but no allowances since it is our first meeting and the idea is if we click I will provide, take care, support you for long time, for many years….” blah… Blah…

    I did not know if I would go or not… But luckily all this snow and flights delays helped me with decision. 🙂

    The thing is I have never asked him about allowances and he wrote he would not give me any. But he was clearly expecting intimate relationship during my visit. It was so cheep (I think ) to write ” no allowances”.
    I would have invested more than him in this “project” 🙂
    I would miss my job (- 600$), my hair, wax…etc (- 400$) + many many hours suffering in the air plane.
    I wish guys would understand that girls invest much more in a date than they r.
    You just need 1 good tie (ok Stormy needs 100 of them) , 1 pair of good shoes, 1 bottle of shave creams, pay $100 for a meal.
    And girls need 200 objects to feel and may be look good (to start with eye pencils, mascara and finish with 4 pairs of boots, 15 pairs of shoes , a few coats and everything also to match).

    Even then NC gent pays 100-150$ for his dinner date -she already invested in this date much MUCH more than he. She got new stockings, new perfume, she is wearing heels and might need to change this small heels $20 (not sure how it is called), her make up things cost more than $200..just a few things to mention. And she has to say “thank you” for intertaining HIM during his meal. ?
    be mothers can teach guys about that?

  251. Midwest SB says:

    ER – I’ve watched 7/7 a few times on tv and an off-broadway show! I LOVE the theater!

  252. Midwest SB says:

    Good morning sugars! Sounds like we need a “travel destinations” blog topic!

    I love the idea of the concert and southern Texas. I had the best oysters EVER in Corpus Christi! TN has a lot to offer from mountain hiking to Nashville and the weather will be perfect Mar/ April (with rain potential though). I agree with staying south, but I prefer the warm weather. St. Augustine/ Amelia Island would be beautiful that time of year too. I tend to avoid traveling to the west coast unless it’s for a week or more. The time change and travel time can eat up trip hours quickly…especially if there are any travel delays/ complications.

    Very important – allow for some down time away from one another… even if you’re having a good time. Offer her some time alone at the spa or just a few hours to take a break, regroup and do some things she may want to do. It’s tough to spend a solid 72 hours with someone you just met.

  253. SouthernCharmSB says:

    Aloha, sugars! Happy Wednesday! 🙂

    @EnglishRose – I know which scene you are talking about! It’s Samantha though and the idea is fabulous! Thank you! The wheels in my head are turning at super speeds and I may just be able to pull it off…keeping my fingers crossed!

    Also, with regards to your experiences with VDay, I read a phenomenal article that talks about how VDay is one of the “holidays” that is pretty much guaranteed to make a good percentage of the population totally miserable. The article goes on to discuss how VDay is overrated and advises single people to use this day to fall in love with themselves, take inventory of their life and all the great things going on in it. Give your best girlfriend a hug and tell her how much you love her. Treat yourself to something fabulously sexy. There’s no law that says you can’t be your own Valentine 🙂 And don’t give up on your SD search, you should always have standards but at the same time keep your options open – and with your contagious, positive attitude, I’m sure your dream SD is around the corner, I just know it! 🙂

  254. NewYorkGirl says:

    Omg. Such a big mistake! it is not Carrie who did sushi thing but Samantha.

    I am waiting outside of CL boutique for you already, please harry up.

  255. EnglishRose says:

    RE: Valentines Day
    I have been rather unlucky in my life and have never done anything on Valentines….I’ve never been given a card/gift/flowers either!! 🙁 But got kind of used to it now, so I don’t expect anything this Valentines. Hope the rest of you have a lovely day though and get to do something special 😀

    I’m flying over right now, meet you on Madison Ave. …do you think they’d let me touch them? Probably asking too much right? 😉

    Thanks I’ll check out EstablishedMen, and you’re right about having better chances with classified ads, it’s definitely an interesting idea, I shall think about it!

    Thankfully it’s all pretty much cleared in London by now. Haha but I love that “the wrong kind of snow”, I’m using that in future 🙂

    You have to be carefully with curves, go too fast and you’ll slip over the edge 😉
    Though, in regards to the fig leaf, you could argue it was the worst thing to happen in fashion, as it was added onto paintings/sculptures by…well…idiots, around the mid 1600’s who decided the nudity in the originals was inappropriate and needed to be “censored”.
    They ended up ruining a lot of great art… but this is my fine art upbringing making a scene, I’ll stop now! Let’s just go back to pencil skirts 🙂

    I think I’d like Harrods if I never had to actually go into the shop, haha.

    You’re an angel, can’t wait to see you this weekend – fingers crossed! Haha…but no more Italian/Brazilian studs okay? Will find some nice refined gentleman okay? ;D

    I recently watched Sex and the City (the movie…personally I think it’s pretty ridiculous but…) there is a scene in which Carrie for Valentines, make’s sushi, then lays naked on a table and arranges it on herself, waiting for her man to walk in the door. I looooove sushi so I really want to try it myself…though keeping myself from eating it will be difficult 😀
    If your SD doesn’t like Sushi you could try and find out his favourite edible thing which it could work with!
    Otherwise, look at the link SD Guru sent you!

    Just wanted to say I love 7 Brides for 7 Brothers, and I’ve never met anyone else who’s watched it! …Got that song in my head now…

    Agree with you completely on the attractiveness of a well dressed man! It’s something I miss about living in Milan, if you have urges to drag off well dressed men then I suggest you never go there as you will mostly likely be arrested. 😉

    Who is this bitchy girl who you think got barred?? I’m riddled with curiosity. There was one blogger on here who I didn’t particularly like & who hasn’t posted in a while…but I don’t want to say just in case, haha.

  256. Tina says:

    SXSW is HUGE, as is ACL Fest. Media attention and celebs galore, especially at SXSW, if you’re into that. some major bands play SXSW as surprises each year…….

  257. ContentSB says:

    @Stormcat — Have you ever been to SXSW? I know quite a few people who go for the Social Media part of it. The consensus seems to be it’s a pretty huge party with some learning lol.

  258. Stormcat says:

    Dorky ~ I would suggest Austin TX in march for the S X SW music festival. They have like 50,000 bands for a week. Take in part of the festival then head for Corpus and enjoy the beach. If you like spa life and great food Stay at the Grove Park Inn in Ashville NC. Another wonderful destination is Charlston SC. Gorgeous architecture and rich in history. If you like Natural wonders you can’t beat Yellowstone Park.

  259. SKitty says:

    I forgot that you need a passport to get from the US to Canada. Tells you how much I travel.

    As for the whole would I travel to an SD. If I was provided my allowance AND an open ticket home so I could leave when I wanted in case of trouble. For the where to go thing, ask her. She might have a dream location that none of us could think of. Me personally would be happy almost anywhere having not traveled much.

  260. Tina says:

    @ ContentSB, I’d be afraid that would build his ego too much…..

    @ Beach_Girl: I’d be afraid that would destroy his ego too much……

    Ummmmm “Blog Man”? “Sticky Fingers”? keep’em coming! GAAAH! WAAAAAY past my bedtime! night night! Really!

  261. Beach_Girl says:

    Tina~ ahhahah Bounty lol…

  262. ContentSB says:

    Tina — I think someone once referred to him as “Computer God.” That might be worth using again haha.

  263. Beach_Girl says:

    Dorky~ Oui!!! C’est super que tu parle Francais!! Et ma ville est merveilleuse en ete, tellement d’activite… Mais je parle tres bien l’Anglais 😉
    I didn’t say you were the blog f’er upper lol.. ok you did F it up… but, I didn’t know it was you 😀
    how about …. fruit loops? hahhah sorry just watch the Big Bang lol

  264. Tina says:

    @ Dorky – that’s too much like Quicker Picker Upper (Bounty)…..you deserve something MUCH more unique…….

  265. ContentSB says:

    @Dorky — What if she like *really* wanted it…could you honestly say no?? Some girls can be quite seductive…I don’t think you could withstand the temptation lol 🙂

    • SD Guru says:

      Wow… another few hundred comments about… ties? The ties don’t make the man, the man makes the ties… 💡

      @Dorky, please don’t choke the blog with unclosed tag and incite mayhem in the future… 😛
      As for your upcoming excellent adventure with a blind date, I’d suggest you go visit her and do fun things close to where she is, if she lives somewhere interesting. Spa suggestions in the continental US… Mii Amo in Sedona, Ten Thousand Waves in Santa Fe, The Spa at Madarin Oriental in Miami, The Spa at Amangani in Jackson, Mud Bath at Solage in Calistoga, and close to where you grew up in Colorado Springs… The Spa at Broadmoor, just to name a few.

  266. DorkyGuy says:

    @Tina, I think Beach_Girl gave me the perfect super hero name… “Blog F**ker Upper”.

    @Beach_Girl, I know what you’re thinking… If I get a passport, I’ll have to make my way to Canada eventually 😉 I would love that. Je voudrais avoir la chance de pratiquer mon français!

  267. Tina says:

    Well my lovelies it has been a wonderful time as usual, however, my work week starts tomorrow and 4am is…..well, 4 hours away.

    Good night all!

  268. Tina says:

    Well, I’m a US citizen, so I think they’ll allow me to travel here 😉

  269. Beach_Girl says:

    HAHAHHA I meant 2012….

  270. Beach_Girl says:

    Dorky~ sorry, it’s just annoying, when I posted before my post was way up (in the scroll) I was confused by the responses after me for a minute lol… coz i’m tired lol…

    Tina~ here, it’s only good I think for 5 years, but you need to get it done 6 months before it expires or else you can’t go to the US for 6 month or something stupid like that.. mine is actually due, it expires in Nov 3012

  271. Tina says:

    And here we all thought Dorky was harmless……he has the power to affect the entire blog with a single keystroke! So ladies, what super dorky hero name shall we give him?

  272. Tina says:

    Good for 10 years as an adult, I can’t remember if it’s 3 or 5 years for under 18…….

  273. DorkyGuy says:

    @NewYorkGirl~ The answer is simple… because I am not here for sex 🙂 Or at least not primarily for sex. There are other things much more important to me. I am completely missing the “casual sex” gene. In order to go to that level, I need to at least feel like we have the fundamental basis for a long-term friendship.

    @Beach_Girl, the blog being messed up is my fault. *SUMMONING THE BLOG GODS*… can you please delete my post from 6:51 pm with the html tag that isn’t closed?

  274. Beach_Girl says:

    Your passports are good for 10 years !!!! omg, that is awesome!
    No excuse Dorky, you need your passport 😀

  275. NewYorkGirl says:

    And please get a passport , it takes only 20 min in some post offices and it good for 10 years.
    Going to sleep now , good night everyone.

  276. Beach_Girl says:

    Why is this blog all fucked up???? it’s annoying me lol.. sorry, had to get that off my chest lol

    Tina~ I have visited a few places in the US, there are amazing places to go to… I would rather… can I say that, I rather ??? omg a blonde moment here… I would want them to come to me, but if I was comfortable and knew I had things in my name, felt safe, some allowance, and that the communication was clear, yes, I would go!

    Dorky~ I live in the great white north and I hate winter!!! I am a beach girl at heart, love the sun and water! I use to live in Cali, maybe one day I’ll live there again… if work permits 😀

  277. ContentSB says:

    @Tina — When I met my former SD for the first time, he came to me. It was ok, but because of where I live we ran out of things to do quickly (and the fact that he was here for 3 nights probably didn’t help either). So, in retrospect I wouldn’t have minded meeting him on his turf, but of course only if I had a way out and …my own accommodations, flight information, allowance beforehand, etc.

  278. NewYorkGirl says:

    Dorky… I understand u r Dorky,
    But ” sex will not happen on the trip even if she want it”
    U have gone too Dorky .
    Sorry if u would perceive my posts as rude one (but u know me, I mean good)
    Dorky , u pay D membership for a few months, u did a lot of this hi tech stuff for the site, u met some SBs…. And u did not have sex with any SB?



  279. Tina says:

    @ Beach_Girl: my question exactly 😉

  280. Beach_Girl says:

    Dorky~ also, if you are going in a few month, may or june, you have many other places to visit. DC, NYC, I don’t know all the letters for the states so … There’s Chicago, Jersey (yes, there are nice places in NJ) the Carolina’s , Virginia, New Mexico…
    And why don’t you have a passport???

  281. Tina says:

    @Dorky – I grew up in Louisville, KY and have never been to the KY Derby…….it’s part of not taking advantage of something that you grow up with, since you’re almost immune to it.

  282. Tina says:

    @Beach_Girl: knowing the area Dorky is in, yes, there are some amazing things to do there. That is a great idea, and an interesting question for the SBs on the blog: what do you prefer – the SD come to you, or you go to the SD for a first meeting?

  283. DorkyGuy says:

    Want to hear something totally tragic? I grew up in the mountains of Colorado… driving distance to Vail, Breckenridge, etc. And I have no idea how to ski. I sure can hike though!

  284. Beach_Girl says:

    @ Dorky~ I haven’t traveled to anyone for a first meet, ever… I would think that if I had my own accommodations, flight to and back all in my name and yes some allowance, I think it would be fine! Also, communication before hand is key and I think you have done that…
    If you don’t have time to travel away with her, if she’s not in your city, maybe invite her there … if you are busy she could visit by herself and do other things.. i’m sure your city offers some fun stuff to do. just a suggestion

  285. ContentSB says:

    @Dorky — You’ve never heard of Jackson Hole?! It’s a ski resort…totally gorgeous…and really touristy…kind of comparable to Vail. If I’m going to hit the slopes you can be absolutely sure I’m going to MT where the mountains are just as big and beautiful, but the lift lines are never longer than 5 minutes. Absolute bliss!

  286. Tina says:

    @ Dorky – I have a feeling that you’ll be just fine. Enjoy getting to know each other!

  287. DorkyGuy says:

    @Tina ~ You are correct of course, and noted. She is probably well advised to insist on a first meeting, which I would be happy to oblige. I’ve mentioned to her several times that I don’t want to push anything past her comfort level, and she hasn’t made any indication that I have done so yet.

    Any girl that I have ever known will tell you that I move glacially slow on the physical stuff. I like to take time to get to know a person first. There is a better than even chance that sex wouldn’t happen on the trip, even if she wants it.

    @ContentSB~ Jackson Hole is the touristy spot of Wyoming? Wow… I have never heard anyone say “I can’t wait to go to Jackson Hole and see the…” umm… what does Jackson Hole have? Regarding Colorado… I grew up in Colorado Springs, right under Pikes Peak. I could walk to Garden of the Gods. Stunning beauty.

    @Beach_Girl, We are still a couple months out… it depends on my work schedule lightening up. It is a little scary… and also an adventure. Would you feel more secure traveling for a first meet if he provided allowance up front so that you would have money to get home if needed?

  288. Tina says:

    I’m not a huge crowd / party person, so I’d like to see it during non-Mardi…..enjoy the culture without having breasts and penis’s rubbed against me (well, in public at least 😉 )

  289. Beach_Girl says:

    There are so many beautiful places in the US to visit… it all depends what you want to do
    I think New Orleans would be awesome at Mardi Gras , what fun would that be? 😀

  290. Tina says:

    Ooooh Beach_Girl, I can’t believe I forgot about New Orleans!!!

  291. Beach_Girl says:

    @Dorky~ Going away with someone you have never met, that is scary a little… well, it would be for me 😀
    As for where to go: When do you plan on going? Right now, lots of places in the north are cold and with snow… There is FL or New Orleans… it’s nice and warm. Hawaii always amazing.. Cali, SF is really beautiful and there’s a lot to do (and it is cold there, well colder than South cali), San Diego, LA, OC and the likes are nice too…lots to do and the weather has been great according to some friends.
    Go somewhere you want to go, if it’s SF then go there! 😀

  292. ContentSB says:

    @Meg — You’re not missing much in WY, unless you wanted to go to a touristy spot like Jackson Hole. The rest of the state is….flat…with lots of tumbleweeds. CO on the other hand, is BEAUTIFUL! Definitely worth visiting! Western MT is really gorgeous too. You’ll have to try and make it out west sometime…western SD is actually really pretty too.

  293. Tina says:

    Dorky – you can’t discount Karma. But, is she ok going away with you if you haven’t met? Us SBs have travel safety suggestions as well, and it would be a shame to have a potential GREAT thing tarnished from rushing it past either of your comfort levels. After all, if it’s a lifetime of good karma that’s helping this budding relationship, a few meetings before going away wouldn’t hurt anything at all.

  294. DorkyGuy says:

    @NewYorkGirl ~ Most of the local girls I have talked to are unavailable for travel due to schedule/kids/etc. It is entirely possible I will be disappointed, or that she may have misrepresented herself. It happens. She may not like me. That happens too. But I am not so invested in it that I care all that much. The worst thing that can happen is we don’t have chemistry, and I still get to enjoy 3 days somewhere away from work by myself. That sounds heavenly in its own way.

  295. DorkyGuy says:

    @NewYorkGirl ~ no, I haven’t… but I know all the travel safety suggestions, etc. I hope to have time to meet her in her hometown prior to the trip. In either case, if we meet and don’t have chemistry, I am glad to provide her with her own suite, and glad for her to enjoy the trip as friends, or provide her with a way back home. I don’t think it will go that way though… My luck has been extraordinarily good lately. A lifetime of building good karma is paying me back!

  296. NewYorkGirl says:

    I lived in SF for 4 years,
    I would not mind at all to live in there for the rest of my life.

    U have been in here for 4 months ( I do not know… A few months),
    U met in person… Let us say 10-15 girls? Had lunch/first meeting only. ?

    And with none of them u r going away… U r going with someone u have never met in person ?

    Please please correct me if I am wrong and do not understand something.

    But none of many many girls were good enough to travel with her after the first meeting? So u were some how been disappointed in them after u met in person.

    And this one u 100% sure u will not be disappointed ?

  297. meg says:

    @Dorky – you know where I’ve always wanted to go? somewhere in the US south-west. Like, lux-spa in Wyoming or Colorado…I’ve traveled quite a bit but I’ve never been to that area.

  298. ContentSB says:

    @Dorky — You sure know your spas! 🙂

  299. NewYorkGirl says:

    Dorky. Hawaii.

    But honestly .. U have NOT met her in person, right?

  300. Tina says:

    Ooooooooooooooh chocolate……………I’m drooling………………….but it depends on when you’re planning the trip – Pennsylvania this time of year? Eeeep! Chilly Willy!

  301. DorkyGuy says:

    Also thinking about the Hershey resort in Pennsylvania. Their chocolate spa looks absolutely decadent. (chocolatespa.com) I am not so much into the spa stuff, but I figure most girls would love it 🙂

  302. Tina says:

    aaaaaaaaaand apparently I’m posting twice now……….

  303. Tina says:

    And Dorky, if it’s a lifelong dream of yours she should at least support you in doing it even if it’s not something she’s into. She can enjoy the coast and take pictures from a comfortable distance 🙂

  304. Tina says:

    And Dorky, if it’s a lifelong dream of yours she should at least support you in doing it even if it’s not something she’s into. She can enjoy the coast and take pictures 🙂

  305. ContentSB says:

    @Dorky — I think she’d love San Fran…I just had a friend visit a guy there this past weekend and she said it was great…but kind of dirty..but then again we’re from smaller towns where everything is super clean, so what we deem “dirty” might be a bit off :p. Had a fun time regardless! If this girl is afraid of sharks though she might have to just wave you off from the beach 🙂

  306. Tina says:

    Just ask. Some women are cool with it, others it would freak them out.

  307. DorkyGuy says:

    San Francisco sounds good… It has been a lifelong dream of mine to go down in the shark cages off the coast. Wonder if she’d enjoy that?

  308. Tina says:

    You don’t have a passport? Shame…….San Francisco or Seattle – you can enjoy the art and city life in each (they both have active an active night life) or stay natural (Redwood natural park or a fisherman’s wharf in either city). Plus both have temperate climates.

  309. DorkyGuy says:

    Ok beautiful blog girls, I need travel suggestions… There is a SB I am really hitting it off with, and we are planning a 3-day trip *somewhere*. I really don’t care where, and she wants me to decide. What are some places you girls have always wanted to visit? The only restriction is that it be in the Continental US (I don’t have a passport).

  310. Tina says:

    let’s see, are we still bold?

  311. Stormcat says:

    Dorky ~ try posting: test (close tag) test (open tag) test (close tag)

  312. SKitty says:

    @Tina – Agreed!

  313. Tina says:

    @ SKitty – everyone needs a little whipping now and again 😉

  314. Stormcat says:

    Never mind ~ If the blog gods can fix it then we can unanimously promote them to Blog Gods 😀

  315. SKitty says:

    The Blog is freaking out a little bit, posts are doing vanishing acts.

  316. SKitty says:

    @Tina – that gets a +1 from me! Love the emoticon btw

  317. DorkyGuy says:

    gah, the blog won’t let me submit a closing tag… Can one of the blog gods please delete my “cleptocravatiphilia” post at 6:51 pm? It contains an unclosed html tag that is bolding everyone’s posts. Sorry all.

  318. SKitty says:

    @Dorky – It happens to the best of us. I will admit I looked at my post and did a “Why is that bold I didn’t make it bold. I must be going nuttier than I thought.” Then I did the fun double post so yeah…

    You are still a Dork King so we all all good. 🙂

  319. Tina says:

    Keep those tags closed Dorky! [img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sex024.gif[/img]

  320. DorkyGuy says:

    Trying something…

  321. Tina says:

    @ meg: you’re making me drool on my keyboard…….

  322. DorkyGuy says:

    @SKitty~ wow… you found something that causes me to feel shame… This is new to me… I don’t know what to do with these feelings.

  323. meg says:


    Ummm…I love a really high-quality woven silk tie…I saw a completely beautiful one–purple & silver & gold paisley…really muted.

  324. Tina says:

    Bow ties are a pain, but a single Windsor is quite easy…[email protected] Dorky, I LIKE IT!

    @ meg: must be high quality silk, no synthetics……ummm…….classic patterns only, ones that will stand the test of time…….as far as color, ABSOLUTELY NO baby pink! I love a man who can pull off darker pinks, I just can’t STAND baby pink on a guy in general……can you think of anything else?

  325. SKitty says:

    Dorky you forgot to close your tags…

  326. I am glad to watch this you tube video at this web page, thus right now I am also going to upload all my video tutorials at YouTube site.

  327. SKitty says:

    haha you are all nuts! I love it!

    side note, must learn proper tie and bowtie creation.

  328. DorkyGuy says:

    hmm… cleptocravatiphilia?

  329. meg says:

    @Tina & Stormy re. “he could even hold off the most special ties for a once a year contest where to enter you have to send a picture of you actually USING the previous tie…..he could even have “Stormypoo” embroidered on the “special” ties ;)”

    Love it. Please describe the ideal tie. I’m currently creating a website devoted to processing applications and need the information…

  330. meg says:

    @ Dorky – yes. I have bureaucriphillia as well as…please create another relating to tie-theft.

  331. Tina says:

    @ Dorky – you seem to be trying to give everyone a hard time, including Stormy 😉

  332. DorkyGuy says:

    lol @ meg and the tie application form… which one of you is the lawyer again?

    I am creating a new word and submitting it to the official fetish dictionary… “bureaucriphilia” a sexual fetish whereby the gratification is obtained from creating forms and documents.

    @meg~ all in good fun, just giving you a hard time 😉

    @Tina~ you could be right… “I was sooo busy staring at her boobs, I didn’t notice her have me sign a new will and then fashion those six ties into a noose”

    @Stormcat~ Too bad! I would have even learned to tie a bow tie for that special occasion.

  333. meg says:

    🙂 Stormcat – be a good sharing SD and lend dorky a tie so he can take an alluring coed with costly culinary cravings out to dinner. lol.

    @ Tina – “apparently you haven’t experienced a woman with a tie fetish…..it’s the hands you have to watch the most…” oh my god, you get it! Absolutely. The next time you’re at a bar or night club, be careful. Some gorgeous woman may just walk up, enchant you, and leave you, two-hours later tie-less and confused…

  334. Tina says:

    Oh my, is comparing “tie quality” on this site equal to comparing…..neeeeevermind…….

  335. Stormcat says:

    Tina ~ How could Dorky experience a woman with a tie fetish when he doesn’t even own one worth fawning!

    Wow! . . . I just realized that ties are almost as powerful as shoes. :mrgreen: (note the use of the word almost!)

  336. Stormcat says:

    Meg ~ Who said Dorky was getting a tie? Let him get his own G.D. tie!

  337. Tina says:

    @ dorkyGuy – apparently you haven’t experienced a woman with a tie fetish…..it’s the hands you have to watch the most………everything else is just there to distract you 😉

  338. DorkyGuy says:

    @StormCat~ It isn’t their hands I would be worried about…

  339. Stormcat says:

    DorkyGuy ~ “… there are 10 kinds of women in the world… Those who understand binary, and those that don’t.” Sorry to inform you, but you already told that joke! (It’s okay, I still laughed anyway.)

    “Send me a tie too! I have a picture idea, just for you”
    Sorry dude, I’m not going there! But I have received a request to fly SB’s with tie fetishes up to stay with me. The proposed itinerary is that they would go skiing, play with my ties, and at night hang out in front of the fire and tell Dorky jokes. (That’s dorky with a capital D) I wondered if you would like to be there just to defend yourself. On second thought 😮 I don’t know I would be able to allow a bunch of women to “sully” my ties by putting their hands all over on them 😯 . . . Or maybe I could. . 8) Or not. . . 😥 (I’m confused!)

  340. Tina says:

    Wow, wore you out through just an e-mail workout…….I’m GOOOOOOOOOOOD!

  341. Tina says:

    @ meg – he could even hold off the most special ties for a once a year contest where to enter you have to send a picture of you actually USING the previous tie…..he could even have “Stormypoo” embroidered on the “special” ties 😉

  342. DorkyGuy says:

    @Tina~ You haven’t lost him, he was taking a nap 😉

  343. meg says:

    @ Stormy – Ooo…if dorky gets a tie, I want one too.

    (p.s. – I think you ought to create an application form for all who desire one of your ties.
    applicants will respond with their email address, preferred design & a 50-100-word description of the intended use of said tie.)

  344. Tina says:

    (shakes head) oh Dorky……that’s all I can say……and it looks like I need a new plaything – I lost the one that I was playing with earlier………..

  345. DorkyGuy says:

    And I am shameless =D… Think we covered that further up the blog! LOL! It has come full circle.

  346. Tina says:

    Uh, Dorky, just, uh, wow………collecting all the dorkettes AND hitting on Stormypoo………

  347. DorkyGuy says:

    @TinTin~. I have long believed that there are 10 kinds of women in the world… Those who understand binary, and those that don’t. I love all women, but have a special fondness toward the former. [email protected] your valentines poems. I have been a big fan of the Doctor since watching the original series on PBS. Message me on my profile sometime.

    @Stormy~ Send me a tie too! I have a picture idea, just for you 😉

    @KindredSpirit~ I believe I know of whom you are speaking. hmmmmm….

  348. Stormcat says:

    Meg ~ Yes I realize, I didn’t know my tie collection would become such a chick magnet. I already picked one out for Jenniebug and I’m going to send it to her in exchange for the photos 👿 I accumulated them over about 10 years when I worked at the firm. One of my colleagues and I would go out for lunch once a week and then go shopping. We’d buy 2 or 3 ties or a couple of shirts, and once in a while a suit, jacket, or shoes. Best place to buy ties back then was Sacs and Bloomies. Actually had a line item in my budget just for ties. It’s amazing how many ties you can accumulate at that rate. 8) Since then, I’ve discarded a lot of them and have a lot more in storage but I still have about 100 of my favorites in my closet. I only have 3 or 4 bowties though and I never wear them. Unlike DaddyGT I hate the way bowties look. Kind of prisey from my view. Also I have never had the pleasure of having a woman tie one on me successfully. They always f**k it up and I have to retie them so I just gave up on that long ago. Maybe I’m too picky! lol

  349. jenniebug says:

    @Stormypo Thanks for your contribution to my new profile pic. I’m sure ill have alot of fun playing with your tie!

  350. meg says:

    I’ve created a blog (mainly so yall can contact me off-blog if you want).

  351. meg says:

    Re: “@ Tina…” – meant @ Jennie-bug.

    I’m a bit dense…lol.

  352. meg says:

    @Jennie – lol! Or…just walk up to any guy in my campus dining hall.

    No, more of a public service to SDs seeking SB-geek-ets.

  353. meg says:

    @Stormcat. Damn. I think there are at least 3 sbs on this blog who want to play with your ties. lol.

    @ Tina – what’s the photo idea involving ties? I had a short-film idea involving stealing ties off of guys in night clubs…but I don’t know anything about cinematography, and have put that on the side burner.

  354. KindredSpirit says:

    She acted like a real miss-know-it-all in a very bitchy, attacking way. Wouldn’t surprise me if she got barred, hm.

  355. KindredSpirit says:

    DorkyGuy, DaddyGT, Stormcat, etc~ Thanks for responding, and I understand now why it isn’t that simple or likely.

    Speaking of people who use more than one name to post, I believe I figured out one who used at least 2 different usernames…because she liked to “stir the pot” one too many times, pissing people off! Haven’t seen her in quite a long time….

  356. jenniebug says:

    @ meg- why do we need to do this at a bar. Look. Picking up on dorks is simple. All you have to do is walk into a computer store with a shirt that says talk nerdy to me.

  357. babydoll says:

    blog gods can you please send me @Black Cherry’s email address so i can contact her soon??


  358. Tina says:

    @ jenniebug: here ya go [img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sex007.gif[/img]

  359. jenniebug says:

    Ooooh… I left for three days and missed out on so much.
    @Tina…. OK, I agree that a spanking may be needed. But only if you give it to me. You have to do it with a giant lollipop and post pics in the blog for everyone to see. :p
    @Stormypoo…. Silk ties are sexy. you should send me one of your awesome ties. I have a awesome photo in mind for it.
    About pregnant chicks…. They can actually be amazingly honey people. I don’t know if that makes up for having to listen to them wake up on the toilet every morning. But hey, if that’s your thing…

    I’m sure that theres alot more that i missed, but I’m going to play in the rain.

  360. TinTinSB says:

    Yeah, my magnetic bras are all front clasp, and definitely have the comfortable yet sexy vibe just right. But, I’m also a lingerie and stiletto addict, so my idea of comfort is probably somewhat warped, lol.

    My favorite nerdy pickup line? “If I was an enzyme, I’d be helicase so I could unzip your genes.”

    I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.

    My reply: I wish I were your second derivative so i could fill your concavities.

    Also, in the spirit of Valentines day, my two favorite takes on a classic poem:

    Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF. All my base are belong to you.

    Fezzes are red, the TARDIS is blue, bow ties are cool, and so are you.

    If you understand both, nerd points are yours!

    Re: Valentine’s Day Plans I don’t have any currently. It’s the anniversary of my latest ex- boyfriend (of 2.5 years!), and while I’m not still hung up on him, I’m definitely using it as a good excuse to indulge in some ice cream! I would love to get together with my SD, but he’s married and so I think he probably has a commitment to his wife 🙂 I am kinda bummed about not having anyone to celebrate with, because I love going all out in terms of doting on people for holidays.

    For those looking for something both sweet and naughty to make for their valentines:


    (I’m not sure if links work in this blog, but I’ll post it anyways. If it doesn’t go through, just google porn bread horny hearts.)

  361. DorkyGuy says:

    @meg, I am in! I hope Amy Farafowler can come, she is a GODDESS!

  362. babydoll says:

    @stormcat~when i click your name here to stalkprofile it says.profile unavilable…boo!!

    @emily~ohh been trying not to think of valentines day!!! as for some of us Sugarbabies who are
    mistresses,well,we have to accept that christmas is spent on the 27th of dec,new year spent day after not before,valentines would be either a day or two earlier or later than 14th,so to be honest for me my answer would be,unplanned until the time and date is confirmed by Sd haha!
    But in my expirience,from the first christmas,it maybe not on the day,but he made sure it was just as if it was christmas day,christmas lunch,presents and a lot of cuddles 🙂
    New year~spent together the day after,cycling through the Common and drinks and dinner xxx so this is my first Valentines day to be a Sugarbaby but I have accepted that I wont be with him on the day…its ok as I know He is mine any other day 😉

  363. meg says:

    Seriously…I think we should organize a ‘dork-bar-night.’

    Attendees can only use nerd-pick-up lines.

    No silk ties. Only overly high-waisted pants and suspenders…

    No entry fee for those wearing plastic-framed glasses with lenses larger than a wine-bottle-bottom.

  364. meg says:

    Lol…Nwsugarbaby. That joke was the BEST!!! LOL

  365. Nwsugarbaby says:

    Would be great to have a buddy from the northwest to chat with about everything. Hopefully the blog gods hook us up with each others info

    I love that your sorority girls are overall supportive as well as being a diverse group. I hope the girl who joined has been having success as well as you. I commented on your blog so hopefully you can get my contact information from that.

    @Emily Valentine’s Day I got a beautiful gift from my SD already for Valentine’s Day. I may get to see him this weekend depending on my school load. He also took me out for dinner and chocolate my favorite. I think as long as both people know what one another like any Valentine’s Day celebration can be fantastic. I have heard the story, but I don’t remember it that well. I think he may have done something like you said or made people valentine’s day cards. I remember him ending up in prison over something. I guess to get a for sure answer google it and read it from a few different sources. would love to hear more about how this romantic holiday came about.

    We joked about the derivative thing in my high school trig class and college calculus class. its a good judge to see how into science and math a person is. I personally like a guy with those traits.

    “If I was sin^2 and you were cos^2 together we would be one”

  366. Tina says:

    If she’s smart her comeback should be something like “if you’re lucky, I’ll let you be my integral so you can be the area under my curves”

  367. Emily says:

    So what are eveyone’s plan for Valentine’s Day? Has anyone heard the the story of St. Valentine? He secretly married couples, because the Rome wanted its young men to enter the military and not marry. If I have the story wrong, please correct me.

  368. PhoneGuy says:

    I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.
    LOL, that is just awesome. Haven’t heard that one before.
    Can’t wait to use it. 99% of the time the response will be “what?”. But that last 1% is either going to be /slap or something very positive.

  369. PhoneGuy says:

    @NC Gent,

    I think I made a comment about Michigan State once but I didn’t go there.
    I went to Purdue for my undergrad and University of Michigan for my MBA.

  370. Tina says:

    They’re actually quite common, and more comfortable than traditional clasps, although tend to be on more expensive bras. I like them on the front clasp bras better than back clasp, however.

  371. DorkyGuy says:

    LOL! Ok, I have to ask.. magnetic clasps? Wouldn’t they come undone too easily? I guess they wouldn’t if you were attractive enough… *groan*

  372. Tina says:

    Or the line “Be still my beating heart…..no, really, I have a pacemaker, could you lose the bra?”

  373. DorkyGuy says:


    There just aren’t many contexts where you can use “Hey beautiful, let’s take off your bra and try to light up a lightbulb” as a pickup line.

    There ought to be nerd bars, where you can approach girls with lines like “I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.”

  374. Tina says:

    Ooooh, I think DorkyGuy is getting a Dorky Girl fan club 😉

  375. TinTinSB says:

    @DorkyGuy I’m definitely turned on by quantum physics! Gorgeous nerdy women totally do exist out there, you just may have to screen a bit more. I think that science is just incredibly sexy, although I’m not as big of a fan of musicals. I’ve had an astronaut tell me my job is cool, and that gave me the title of nerd shadow princess among my college friends 🙂 I’m also nerdy enough that I bought a few different bras with magnetic clasps, got bored studying my actual physics assignment one afternoon, and decided to play around with calculating magnetic fields and theorizing induced currents on a wire using them. Yes, I’m a nerd 😛

    The SciFi / Fantasy debate is an interesting one. It is funny how my friends will let so much slide in terms of fantasy books, but then if just one scientific fact is wrong in a sci fi book, they will pounce on it like rabid animals. I think the main irritation is that there is so much shoddy quack science going around the general population, anything with fake science basis tends to draw ire from the published paper reading crowd.

    Alright, now I’ll let the conversation veer back to normal sugar land 🙂

  376. Tina says:

    NC Gent – if you don’t mind, please keep us posted. I’m interested in seeing how a “traditional” relationship possibly morphs into a sugar…….. 😉

  377. SKitty says:

    Oh my so many things to comment on! I missed so much letting my cold kick my bum.

    @Guru – I am a poor college student so bills are only accepted if the balance owed can be worked off in some means that allows to me learn new skills Preference is given to skills of no use in the corporate world. >=}

    Re SB Age: I guess I am in the unloved age range being 26. How to make people realize that while I am 26 I skipped the behavior of my late teens early 20s and feel the need to make up for that loss. Marriage, babies, “where is this leading” questions and all that crap… ick.

    Re SD Age: I honestly believe that age is just a number and that older men do have a lot more to offer than younger men. That does not mean that just because chronologically you are 60 that you are going to be more or less mature than someone that is 35. Heck I know some people that you would never guess are as old as they are. It is about attitude as much as looks.

    Re Well Dressed Men: This is the one thing that can make me want to drag a guy to the nearest semi private space with a locking door. That and they have to smell good. I have never been able to figure that one out but if you smell really good I tend to loose a little bit of my common sense. Add to that being dressed well and all bets are off. In my world guys need to be able to look “yummy” This does not mean that you have to be in a suit and tie and all that but if you look yummy enough I make no promises that I am not going to drag you off and have my way with you. Personal note – this did get me in a little bit of trouble once at the movies…. >.>

    @Fellow SB’s anyone who wants my email for communication, safety buddy, or general plotting and scheming reasons give a shout. The blog gods have my open permission to pass my email along.

  378. NC Gent says:

    SDG — she hasn’t asked for anything yet, and I highly doubt she would even consider asking unless she was under extreme duress. She knows I have sugar dated though, so I am sure it is in the back of her mind. I will bring up the topic when the time is right — don’t want to see her struggle.

  379. Tina says:

    Awww, shucks NC Gent [img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-ashamed005.gif[/img]

  380. NC Gent says:

    Tina and DorkyGuy would make a great blog couple — both super sweet! Hope there turns out to be some magic for you two 🙂

  381. Tina says:

    Upstairs Neighbor…..the bad part is that specific one is dated, due to poor Pluto being downgraded…the bastards!

    Check your e-mail. You’ll know it’s from me. 😉

  382. DorkyGuy says:

    Loved 992… good lord, how much time did he put into that? “Planets” was hysterical, but I was really impressed by “Geologic Periods”. By the way, my profile is 342017, if you would like to take it off blog, and let them get back to discussing ties 🙂

  383. Tina says:

    992 tripped me out too

  384. Tina says:

    I saw that one – I love it, but I will have to admit it made me a little cross-eyed for a sec 🙂 I’m digging 1002, especially since I love Calvin and Hobbs!

  385. DorkyGuy says:

    @Tina~ Ohhh.. check out xkcd.com/980/ I am actually thinking of ordering that as a wall poster.

  386. Tina says:

    Damn you Dorky. I can’t tear away from the xkcd website………gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

  387. Stormcat says:

    Tina ~ Thanks, actually the moment came a while ago but Master Alleycat hasn’t been around that much lately for me to tell about it. 🙁

    NewYorkGirl ~ Are you the one panning for gold at the top of a waterfall? 8)

  388. Tina says:

    I agree Dorky – sci-fi is all about entertainment with just enough current known science to make it seem possible. Which, if you’re a true science geek, makes it all that more entertaining since it stimulated the imagination. And I don’t know if being God for a second would cure humanity of inferiority issues – it might just enhance them. The competition to have the best microuniverse? The power to create and destroy? Oh boy, I can see the sociopaths drooling from here……..

  389. DorkyGuy says:

    @Stormy… Wonderful idea! If everyone had a particle accelerator, we could have a lottery and a huge prize for the first person to find the Higgs Boson. Think of the advances we could make! Plus, everyone could make their own micro-universes at will… Be God for a nanosecond. It would finally cure humanity of inferiority issues.

    @Tina… The Star Trek detractors are looking at it too narrowly. I find it interesting that they same people probably enjoyed Harry Potter and Tolkien. When one style of fiction engages in fantasy, it is good, and when the other engages in fantasy, it is bad? The purpose of Star Trek was not to be a technical manual, but to entertain and inspire. It did both of those things successfully, which is why it is still talked about today. In my humble opinion, of course.

  390. Tina says:

    How about Spock, McCoy and Scotty in “Oh Brother Where Art Thou?” teehee

    I’ve had many conversations re: Star Trek and “real” quantum physics – I didn’t want to start a nerd war on here. I have a few former friends that were very much against Star Trek, and argued that it used Quantum Physics when it was convenient, then strayed when the laws of physics interfered with the sci-fi portion so they ignored the laws.

    Dang you Dorky – I though that the anonymity of electronics would help hide my own dork, but you keep bringing it out! Eeep!

  391. Stormcat says:

    Dorky ~ Hey! 💡 I’ve been thinking of a really practical new product for the marketplace. A desktop particle accelerator/mass spec analyzer I’m sure everyone will want one of those.

  392. DorkyGuy says:

    Not to get too nerdy, but there is a ton of quantum physics in Star Trek. Both the transporters and warp drives are based on real concepts.

    Lol at Spock singing musicals. What I wouldn’t give to see Spock doing a rendition of 7 Brides for 7 Brothers. “Bless her beautiful hide… Wherever she may be…”

    I love xkcd! Lost a few hours to that website. It is nerd heaven =D

  393. Tina says:

    @ DorkyGuy – it’s probably best that you don’t look for a dorky girl who likes to drink too much – that could be quite embarrassing in public. By the way, I’m digging the xkcd site – loving #1011….Eggsperm…..hehehehehe…..

    And how about a musical about Quantum physics? Hehehehe, Star Trek to music…..can you image Mr. Spock singing “Vuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuulcan mind trick is the thing to do!!!” (sung in the same tume as “Oklahoma”) (and I know, Star Trek isn’t exactly based on quantum physics)

  394. DorkyGuy says:

    @PhoneGuy, seems like a drama queen just screened herself for you. It is only 9:00 am and you have already dodged a bullet! I doubt even Morpheous was so nimble on his feet.

    @Tina thank you for the advice! I will look into it. Awesome emote to Midwest.

    @DaddyGT, guess you are right, I just need to stay in my niche interests. Not sure how many girls are turned on by quantum physics and musicals, but I am sure they are out there. Not sure alcohol will be it though. I just don’t drink enough. Tying bow ties… Lol, I can tie my shoes and a regular tie. That is all of the knots that I need.

  395. babydoll says:

    phew!!! what a bloody busy day …!!!

    sorry ,didnt men to be rude,its 16.17 London time Sugars …

    just quick kisses xxxx

    @stormy~ goodmorning xxx

    to all the beautiful american Sugarbabies ~ have a lovely day to you all xxx
    to all London Sb’s i hope your days are spent lazing and shopping haha!!!

  396. Tina says:

    Looks like a busy morning makes me a late comer to the conversation. @ Dorky – there are actually quite a few good small wineries in the Dallas-ish area, many slightly NE or Fort Worth. 45 minute drive at the max. Most are in the Hill Country, though (Fredericksburg, Llano, etc.) off 290. There are a few wine trails that specialize in specific areas, and that way you don’t have to drive or worry about finding them yourself. As far as whites, since you enjoy Merlot, you probably want to look at a strong barrel aged Chardonnay where you can get the large, robust oak flavor. I can suggest a few wineries that the winemakers are good at the “larger” wines if you would like 🙂

    @ Stormcat – good morning my dear. I’m happy that you’ve reached enlightenment, although it seemed to happen after you read my profile. Should I be insulted? 😉

    @ DaddyGT – I wish you lived closer to me, as I would love to try to find at least one wine that you could enjoy. And I’ve always been interested in learning how to taste/appreciate scotch and bourbon, although it isn’t something that is popular in the area I live, so finding someone that can guide me can be difficult.

    @ MidwestSB – the thing that I love about wine is that the price tag really doesn’t matter – it’s such a personal issue. I’ve had $5 box wine that made me tingly, and $50 bottles that I couldn’t take more than a sip of.

    @ TinTinSB – I love small wineries, there are gems there that aren’t expensive, and I love going back year after year to see how the winemaker’s style changes and grows with the varietal he/she specializes in.

    Quick note: I’m really NOT an alcoholic, I promise! I have 4 bottles of wine here at home that I haven’t touched in 2 – 6 months, and I haven’t had a glass in….ummmmmm…..2 months? Wow, what a shame 🙂

    @ MidwestSB – here you go darling [img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-shocked003.gif[/img]

  397. NC Gent says:

    Phoneguy — yes that has happened to me before….. good to find out early is the only positive way I can look at it. Also, based upon one of your previous posts, we may share an alma mater 🙂

  398. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!!!

    @Midwest~ I have been to those “brown bag” tastings, it’s so much fun. I did a wine and cheese, before school last year, it was so fun. Everyone brought a wine and a cheese, it was Awesome!
    I did a Vodka tasting once, omg, who knew there were so many differences… I would love to try scotch tastings, cognac tasting too sound interesting. Ok, well I would like to try all tastings… lol, hummm that sounds… a little bad lol 😀
    Back to work for me, have a great day Sugars

    • SD Guru says:

      the blog since it started comprises 5707 pages (i.e. topics) including 276,420 posted comments.

      You must be really bored to be looking at the blog url… 😛 There are 340 blog topics, 30 pages in the Tips section, and over 123k published comments since the inception of the blog. The 276k number you see probably includes spam which are mostly filtered automatically.

      @NC Gent
      about ready to give up on locating that unicorn and go back to the woman (who is in her late 20s) I was having an affair with…

      Good luck with that! Now that she’s on her own maybe she’d be expecting more from you?

      I’m still trying to come up with a thoughtful gift – any ideas?

      Back in December there was a discussion about gift ideas. Here’s what I wrote at the time.

  399. NewYorkGirl says:

    Enjoy this nice sunny warm day!
    (I “favorite” your profile a few days ago, since u link it to ur blog name,
    but you would not know which is my profile:)

  400. PhoneGuy says:

    Ditto for any man that cannot tie a bow-tie!
    DaddyGT, let’s just agree that we live in very different worlds. 😉

    I got a message on another site this morning at 8:18am saying something simple like “I would like to get to know you.” I read it, checked her profile to see where she lived and then went back to work figuring I would respond later. At 8:48am she sent another email saying “I guess you’re not interested.” I tried to respond that I was busy and would respond later and she had already blocked me. Some people have no patience at all. Anyone experience something like this?

  401. SouthernCharmSB says:

    Morning sugar fam!! Hope everyone has a fabulous day! 🙂 What are everyone’s plans for Valentine’s?

    I am very excited about spending a fun-sugar-filled weekend with my SD. We’ve only met a couple of times and he wears a gold band on his left hand so at first we weren’t even sure this weekend was going to happen, but now, everything is booked and I think we are set. I’m still trying to come up with a thoughtful gift – any ideas? I made a pit stop at Victoria’s Secret last night and bought some goodies, but I was hoping to do a little something more because I did the hot lingerie for Xmas. Maybe some of the SDs on the blog can help? Thanks! xoxoxo

  402. DaddyGT says:

    No, I haven’t come across that one yet. I will keep an eye out for it though.

    Lately, I have been sticking to my bread and butter whiskeys (Macallan + Jameson), as I hunt for the few cask strength whiskeys that you will occasionally come across. Discovered a bar in Johannesburg that has a few of these. Pricey though. Typically starting at USD$100 for a double, and going up from there. 🙁

    One of my ultimate dreams, is to own a micro distillery, making organic whisky :-). Watch this space.

  403. NC Gent says:

    SDG — you are right regarding SG2 and I “dividing and conquering,” but he recently began infringing on my territory by expanding his age range to 32.

    I really haven’t met any women on this site who were looking to get married, even in the late 20s to late 30s age range, but then again, I am married so that probably sets a boundary early on. I have tried a lower age range, and I too have noticed, that they tend to be more impressed by “modest” luxuries (think it was SG2 who noted that). I really didn’t see a whole lot of differences other than favorite shows, movies, music, etc between the two age groups. The main reason I prefer the age group that I do is that I have looked for more of a “sugar gf” than a “sugar baby” in the past. Just felt when the woman was closer to my age, that was more likely to happen. Plus, I really do not enjoy the stares in public, but that is me. Having said all this… about ready to give up on locating that unicorn and go back to the woman (who is in her late 20s) I was having an affair with… she moved out Wednesday, so hopefully less drama now :/

  404. Stormcat says:

    NewYorkGirl ~ I just refreshed and as it was loading I saw that you had posted. I thought “Oh good, NewYorkGirl, I like her . . . I wonder what she is going to say?” Then the screen popped down to your post and I saw that it was a good morning to me. I’d say this day is starting out very well! Good Morning NewYorkGirl! 8)

  405. NewYorkGirl says:

    Good morning Stormcat, good morning.

  406. Stormcat says:

    Good morning Midwest, Babydoll, everyone. 😀

  407. Stormcat says:

    If I’m interpreting the url correctly it tells me that the blog since it started comprises 5707 pages (i.e. topics) including 276,420 posted comments. I must say that is impressive especially considering the length of some posts. I wonder how many volumes of printed text that would fill.

  408. Stormcat says:

    DaddyGT ~ Have you encountered a scotch called Loch Dhu? I think it is a lowland scotch and the distillary went out of business about 10 y ago. Originally inexpensive I’ve seen it for sale on ebay for $200 plus. I had the fortune of finding a bottle of left over stock in a local shop where the owner didn’t know what he had so I snapped it up and put it in my cabinet. But I let a bunch of friends stay at my place while I was out of the country and when I got back found that they had drank the whole thing. Problem with people not realizing what it’s worth.

  409. babydoll says:


    i cant blog here sincce 2 days boo!!!! too much chatter haha xxx

    helllo everyone,
    jus a quick beso and cuddles to everyone…

    @blackcherry~yes please blog gods if you can please send her my email so we can arrange something when we are both free??

    English rose~ arrghh remember you are gorgeous,even if some pot Sd’s dont/wont follow through xxx their loss;)

    @tina ~ i love those emoticons haha they made me giggle scrolling down and seeing them move xxx

    @dutchy~ when are we all going to catch up …wine and dine and get those men running after you girls(*@ER and You hahahaa!!!!)

    sorry,i was always on my mobile the last time,as you know not very interested on those Italian and Brazilian studs!!! (giggle) 😉

    Wines~ i love wines and actually will take a course re food and wine i hope sooner than later,but the best french wines are for me,the Old world Reds and French is always good,try St Joseph or Margaux xxx I love <3 xxx

    and re Whisky~i love drinking whisky and was taught by my Sd how to drink it right, but unfortunately he will only drink good whisky from Scotland ~Highland Whisky ,which is very good and smooth.it is very nice with a splash of really cold water …(still not sparkly)

    To All~ i tried to reply to an email i received from an Sd here on SA as i unhid my profile~but its strangge it is unsent! hmmm any one knows why?

    gotta go back to work ciao ciao everyone xxxx

  410. Midwest SB says:

    Good morning sugars!

    Kindred – That’s a fun idea! Funny thing is, as Guru mentioned, it would reveal those who blog under several names/ addresses even though they are one person. That would raise some eyebrows! (where’s a good emoticon when I need one!)

    Beach_Girl/ Daddy GT – Hey kitten! I’ve been to Napa Valley and a few wineries in Michigan, but I couldn’t tell you a fine wine from a cheap wine when you do the “brown bag” test. Have you ever been to one of those wine parties where you don’t know what you’re drinking, then find out the best tasting wine was the $3 bottle from the local grocery store? I have enjoyed a 50yo glass of Grand Marnier that made me tingle all over 🙂 It was great for kissing too! Yummy!

  411. Oops it came out crazy but I meant even though they have discussions going, they always read cries for help!

    Last time I watch Roswell reruns while I try and respond!


  412. @ucSB Hahaha, uh is it? I’m Nigerian so I never refer to myself as African American since I’m not. Hm, maybe an NBA? A Nigerian Born American? More internal exploration later lol

    The veterans get caught up in their own discussions but I’m sure they simply didn’t read your plea!

    I actually have a way different experience than a lot of the college SBs on here. My sorority is really small and REALLY diverse (different races, cultures etc) and it’s virtually impossible to keep our lives from being intertwined so all my sisters know about the site and one even joined about three weeks after I told them all. Lots of support, even if they’re a bit worried. I also have a lot of best friends from back home and about 3 of those know so I’ve got a really wide safety net.

    It’s hard when you don’t.

    If the blog gods approve, I’d love to be your buddy to keep you safe! We’ve gotta stick together and a pen-pal is always fun! Click my name to go to my blog and comment with your email address and I’ll def email you!

  413. DorkyGuy says:

    The real reason that coeds prefer older SDs over college boys:


  414. TinTinSB says:

    Oh my, the blog has positively exploded in the past day! So much to catch up on…

    @nwsugarbaby I would also be happy to be your internet SB buddy… I’m also located in the nw, so that could be fun! I’m a bit of a newbie as well though 🙂

    Re: Age Those that know me constantly mistake me for being older than my early 20s, because I’m so mature. However, I find that many SDs aren’t willing to give me a chance because I am young, or simply think that we have nothing that relates us. It’s quite the disappointment, because I really like older SDs. I still haven’t figured out a good solution to the sometimes negative coed young SB stereotypes. I feel like if I put on my profile that I’m “more mature than my age suggests” that just sounds really immature. What’s a girl to do?

    Re: Wine I love wine. I have had such a palate for it, ever since I was a teenager (shh!) It can actually be annoying, because I’m a bit of a snob about it and just can’t bring myself to drink really cheap wine. As a result, I rarely drink it because it isn’t quite in the budget (as even $10 is stretching it nowadays!) Bit of a problem for a college student, with all of the parties thrown around here! But yes, I definitely agree with everything Tina said on the subject. A good wine is just so sensuous, and a great pairing makes enhances a meal beyond belief. I haven’t met any SDs that really appreciate wine yet, however. That being said…

    Re: Whisky Give me a nice bottle of Oban, and I’m pretty much in heaven 🙂

    I think that what it really comes down to is that whether your life comprises of wine, whisky, and / or some naughty cowgirls you must be comfortable with your own sense of self in order to really enjoy. Once you have that firmly in place, who cares what others think of your tastes?

  415. DorkyGuy says:

    The only thing I know about wine is I like merlot, and haven’t liked any white I have tried. Not many wineries in the Dallas area. Maybe find an SB who knows something about it to show me what I’ve been missing.

  416. DaddyGT says:

    on wine
    The wine thing is difficult for me. I am yet to find a wine that I actually like the taste of. And I have tried a few. From 2 buck chuck through to bottles that cost several hundred.

    Pretty much the only time I every reall drank wine, was at the dinner table with mum holding a shotgun to my head. I just don’t have a wine palette.

    And I have been to a lot of (sometimes very high end) wine tastings. Most recently in Stellenbosch in the Cape. Invariably, I end up sitting at the bar working my way through their whiskey collection whilst my friends carry on with the wine tasting.

    It’s all about the sensations – taste, color, smell, the feel of it on your tongue and throat, how it changes as it opens and hits different areas of your pallet.

    Actually, everything you write there, is stuff I would say about whisky. Unfortunately, most people think Jack Daniels <> when you talk about whisky. Some might throw in Chivas or Johnny Walker, but there are literally hundreds of different whiskys out there, and with very distinctive characteristics. Well aged single malts rock, although I do love ‘cheap’ Jameson too.

    My take is that as long as you know what works for you, there is not need to apologise for your tastes.

  417. Beach_Girl says:

    @Tina~ OMG so many places to visit for wineries… I want to do all those too 😀 We have a lot of imported wines here and I do try a lot of them. My fav lately has been a spanish red wine, Montecillo 2007, Very coarse… so good!!!!
    I could talk about wine all night, but I have to work in the morning… Night night Sugars 😀

    • SD Guru says:

      Wow, several hundred comments in the past 24 hours. How is a guru supposed to keep up??
      Kudos to everyone for handling sensitive topics such as age and feminism with intellegence and class!! 💡
      Did SDinLA go back in hiding ❓

      the horse trainer is going to be a dud, I think… My drama-drama-drama SB is STILL around (it’s 14 months now, on and off)

      So are you on the hunt for a new #1 again?? Maybe your drama SB wasn’t so bad after all. If you’re still seeing her occasionally after 14 months then she must be doing something right. Or perhaps your tolerance for drama has increased? 😉

      I suddenly realized that I didn’t need a one true love to be happy… And I’m really popular when I lose my woe is me attitude.

      Congrats on reaching enlightenment, you’ve discovered the secret to life is to be happy with yourself first! 🙂

      @NC Gent
      my desired age range is late 20s to late 30s…

      If that’s the case then most co-ed SB’s would not be in your desired age range. Maybe you and SG2 can divide and conquer, he goes after the under 30 group and you go for the over 30!! 😎

      Favorite Position: Cowgirl. Reverse cowgirl not so much.

      I didn’t know there is such a thing as a bad position… 😛

      @Dorky Guy
      SA blog doesn’t have a login mechanism that uniquely identifies each user. People can change the name that appears at will…

      There is a mechanism to register users for the blog and allow only registered users to post. But currently it’s set up so that anyone can post a comment without registering or login to allow for greater participation. The downside is that anyone can post under any name and some people have posted under multiple names (not sure why anyone would do that but it happens). 🙄

  418. Tina says:

    @ Beach_Girl, I would also like to take a tour of European wineries (France, Italy and Spain in particular) to compare the wines that I’ve had here in the U.S. (i.e. a true Spanish Tempranillo). Luckily the wineries here are open all year long, even though it can be a bit hot in the summer for wine tasting.

  419. Beach_Girl says:

    @Tina~ Well, I went twice to napa and sonoma… it was amazing. I am hoping to go the France for some wine tours someday! And having a winemaker or winery then yes, it does help a lot!!
    We have some wineries here, but they are open in the summer only. I have been to some wine classes given by the liquor store here, it was so much fun! It’s very interesting…

  420. Tina says:

    @ Beach_Girl, it also helps if your father is one of the winemakers as well 🙂 I haven’t been to Napa, Sonoma or Willamette Valley YET, but I’ll get there someday. I already have my list of recommended wineries from family and friends!

  421. Beach_Girl says:

    @Tina~ if you are close to wineries, then you can experience that… I went wine tasting in Napa, I loved it… it was amazing!

  422. Tina says:

    Especially when you get to experience the wines as they age from the barrel, but I’m spoiled like that 🙂

  423. Beach_Girl says:

    Tina~ I totally agree… Wine tasting is so much fun and interesting!!!

  424. Tina says:

    All this talk about not liking wine and no knowledge of it makes me so sad. I love wine, and a good pairing of it with the right food, holy cow! There are so many good wineries near the area I live in, it just takes time and the right person to help you find the taste you like. Wine is very personal, which can make the experience very nice foreplay. It’s all about the sensations – taste, color, smell, the feel of it on your tongue and throat, how it changes as it opens and hits different areas of your pallet. Learning how to enjoy wine can be a good way to learn how to enjoy other areas, but I digress…….

  425. Beach_Girl says:

    Who doesn’t like a man in a nice suit and tie!!! 😀

  426. DaddyGT says:

    Let’s just say I was grinning like a Cheshire cat. It helped that it was in a club, with typical club lighting, and not a restaurant.

    I hate London snow. It never quite settles in Central London, so unless you are outside Zone 2 or so, you can’t actually have any fun with it. And when it does settle, it soon freezes, so walking anywhere involves taking your life into your own hands on black ice. Then it screws up with the trains and tubes. My all time best excuse, is “The wrong kind of snow fell, and has caused delays on the trains.”. Plus, you can’t get a cab when it is snowing. Then the airports close. Sheesh, I sound like a grumpy old man, but yeah, snow in London is pretty shit!

    on EnglishRose in a LBD
    Getting visuals. 😎 All those curves and me with no brakes! 😈 That look though, has got to be the best thing to happen to women’s fashion since the fig leaf. I will overlook many things on a woman in a pencil skirt! Many things! :mrgreen: Cold shower beckons. 😳

    on Harrods
    Don’t get me wrong. I love going to Harrods’ when I have something very specific in mind, and can’t figure where to get it. If they don’t have it, they will go the extra mile to find it for you, even if it means calling other stores for you. Their service tends (tended?) to be top notch, but wandering around the concessions hoping to see something that catches my eye is a no no!.

    On your comments request. Well, the short version is that given the way WordPress stores comments, it would be non trivial to try and retrofit the functionality you are looking for to this blog. So, don’t hold your breath on that feature.

    @Meg and Stormcat
    I have to agree with you both re:Ties. Not only must the tie be silk, but it must be woven silk. Printed silk just looks wrong. In my corporate days, I loved wearing good ties, or no tie at all. And with a tie, you can tell a good one from a rubbish one in like 1 second. Good tie + Good shirt = win. I think men should rather not wear a tie at all, than wear a bad one.

    And I think anyone wearing a clip-on tie should definitely be taken out back and shot. Twice. Ditto for any man that cannot tie a bow-tie! Ladies, if there’s a ‘helping your man get dressed’ skill you must learn, it is how to do up a tie, and a bow-tie.

    @Meg on pickup lines
    The first time it happened, a woman actually used that on me. It broke the ice, and got us talking, although I did end up doing most of the drink buying 🙂 . Like any pick-up line though, it is a lot more about he delivery, than the actual content. Works better on someone who is definitely alone, and you too are alone. Not sure about regular or singles bars, but when you are all alone in some hotel bar in the middle of Nowhereville, you welcome a cheesy line like that.

    Don’t shoot yourself. We all have our ‘thing’, and it is different for each man. I love ties. I love cigars. I love whisky. Wine? I know nothing about the stuff. Can’t stand wine actually. I tend to drink it only under duress. But whisky? Now there’s something I could talk about, and drink all day 🙂 .

    I suppose the trick is to be comfortable, and confident in whatever it is you are doing. I always found however, that my step had an extra bounce when I though myself in a particularly dashing power tie and suit combination. YMMV.

  427. Nwsugarbaby says:

    Idk how the blog gods work but i am happy to share my information as well

    I have a screening tool that if he doesn’t offer to pay my gas after i’ve drove to meet him he isn’t the SD for me. I now will be more upfront that I would like to have my gas compensated for the first meeting, but that I expect nothing more than that and lunch to see if there is any chemistry.

  428. Beach_Girl says:

    @DorkyGuy~ You are a web coder? wow, congrats, that stuff is hard. I have such a hard time with it… all that geektastic coding talk…. I don’t always get it :S but I still made all my sites and they look pretty amazing… for a non-geektastic coder 😀

  429. DorkyGuy says:

    “And I can tell the difference between real and fakes.

    (You just have to bite them.)” ~meg

    lol, are you talking about sugardaddies or pearls?

  430. DorkyGuy says:

    @KindredSpirit.. Oh wait… clearly we need this feature, because I totally misinterpreted what you were asking me. I thought you were asking me about fashion.

    The challenge with implementing a feature like that on this blog is that the SA blog doesn’t have a login mechanism that uniquely identifies each user. People can change the name that appears at will, and multiple people can post under the same name. I can build a fuzzy search based on the name, and that would provide semi-reliable results.

    The second issue is that I don’t have access to the backend database, so I would have to do all of the processing in the browser… which means loading all of the blog pages in history into the browser for every search. A very expensive and long process, and I am sure Brandon would object to the server load.

    If the planets align, I might be able to do something along those lines. My work would have to slow down so that I have more time, and the Blog Gods would have to give me access to the backend. Realistically, I don’t think that is going to happen soon though. My business is exploding, and I just don’t have time for a project like that probably until next fall.

    I believe DaddyGT is an IT guru as well… not sure if he is a web coder though. DaddyGT, any interest in a project like that?

  431. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!!!
    Wow, so much chatter!!! I can barely keep up…

    Age: I am late 30s, I don’t think I have issues… and I dislike drama and lies, makes me nutty… I am way upfront and open… but we are all different. Our experiences make us who we are, shape our actions and such… I know some 20 y/o that are way more together than I am and I have met some 40 + that are stupid and childish… I think you need to get to know a person… but here, yes, age is a criteria for most, it’s all about what a SD or SB wants here, and that is awesome.
    Even at my age, I have had many amazing experiences, some totally new and fun, some not so much…but I enjoy it regardless…

    It’s not so cold here lately… surprising! 😀 but i’m sure we will have snow soon again, blah….

    V day: I have a SD diner !!! He sounds really nice, we will see, it’s a week away!!! Lots can happen…

    Working so much lately, I think I need a mini vacay, I think for my Bday that is what I’m going to do 😀 and get myself an iPad… that would be amazing… I still have a few months to figure it out!!!

    @Midwest~ have a drink for me kitten, I so wish I could be on vacay

    @Dorky~ I couldn’t tell real pearls from fake ones either… lol… I don’t have any, I haven’t had the chance to learn the difference, there’s still time… 😀

  432. meg says:

    Awww…Dorky. You’re a pearl.

    And I can tell the difference between real and fakes.

    (You just have to bite them.)

  433. DorkyGuy says:

    @Meg, Lol, can I get away with bringing a photo of my tie?

    Yeah, I understand it is a good screening tool. I remember one SB who wrote that she wears pearls to her first meet, and somehow used that to figure out if the guy can tell the difference between real and fake pearls… (another screening test that I would fail).

    I am completely comfortable knowing that girls might reject me based on those kinds of screening tests. I am who I am, and with the right person, that is enough. The right person will see what others perceive to be flaws as endearing.

  434. meg says:

    @ blog-gods – please — I’d be more-than-happy for you to pass my info on to NWsugar if she’s interested!!

    @SC. Oh my goodness. Seriously? I want to look through all of your ties!

    @Dorky …lol. The tie is a screening tool (when you’re dealing with something dodgy like classifieds…and ‘businessman’ rules out doctors & lawyers & pilots and IT-gurus & architects & journalists. Pretty much anyone with class owns at least one silk tie…maybe.) Just like ‘co-ed’ or ‘college-grad’ may screen out some really intelligent and interesting women…but it also screens out a lot of what you aren’t looking for.

    P.S. – now that I think of it…the 4 men I had the longest not-mainstream relationships with…never saw any of them in a tie (well…except the one guy with the synthetic one). But the only ones that I saw & immediately lusted after within 5 seconds…all in suits and ties.

    Go figure.

  435. Nwsugarbaby says:

    @meg and others

    thank you all for your advice and tips on safety. that is why I wanted to know about telling my friends so I can be safer when meeting even though I always meet in a public place. seems as though so far through testing the waters as mentioned I haven’t found that friend to tell. the area i’m in college at is conservative. i would appreciate having a buddy off this blog to chat with about the lifestyle and for safety. again thank you for your input. I’m enjoying reading all your posts on here about everything 🙂

  436. DorkyGuy says:

    Me? lol, in matters of fashion, I don’t measure up to StormCat by any measure. I detest ties, and avoid them if If at all possible. I am a very simple person, with very simple tastes. I dress casually 99% of the time, and count myself blessed that my work allows for it. Occasions where i need a suit are so rare that i just go buy a new one each time. I enjoy fancy restaurants and stores, but am just as happy at chain restaurants and WalMart. i don’t know anything about wine, cheese, or cigars. If a girl is looking for an uptown experience, there are many better candidates than me.

  437. KindredSpirit says:

    Stormcat~ I’d like to imagine that by simply reading what you posted…it would all come back to memory what you were replying to or writing about (not including from one-word answers). Anyway, some introspective food for thought. 😉

    DorkyStud, I mean Guy~ What do you think? 🙂

  438. Tina says:

    @ Stormcat – there is something to be said about a well dressed man. There is also something to be said about a man that can look good completely dressed down and casual. Sexy is a state of mind.

  439. Stormcat says:

    Meg ~ I wasn’t making fun of your comment. I actually own several hundred silk ties, at least 30 suits and on and on. True there is nothing like a silk tie but you need a lot more than that to achieve the understated elegance of a crisp white egyptian cotton shirt, interesting silk tie, dark wool taylored suit, silk mid calf stockings, leather suspenders, black shriner shoes, unintrusive jewelry and watch; topped with black cashmere overcoat, white scarf, felt hat, and calveskin gloves.

  440. Tina says:

    Hey now, don’t knock men in Texas……everything is bigger in Texas baby!

  441. meg says:

    DaddyGT – why thank you. Although “Barmy” and “don’t-give-a-fuckedness” sound like attributes a 70 year old man from Texas might have. I’m thinking Bush-cabinet-type…lol.

    I LOVE that pick-up line. Clever. Yeah. That’d definitely crack me up completely (especially if it were a guy wearing a silk tie…tee hee…) and he would get the drink.

    D’you think it’d work in reverse? Like, if I offered to buy someone a drink at a bar? Feel like it’d come across desperate & needy, no matter how I tried to put it off.

  442. Stormcat says:

    Kindred ~ I think we need to give that request to Dorky Guy. I would love to read all the posts I’ve ever made but they would be out of context and ofter the posts are about interactions between bloggers and would lose a lot of their meaning if they were read in isolation.

  443. meg says:

    @Tina – lol. Absolutely.

    @SC – no, it’s really just one silk tie. Preferably with a not-too-cheap-looking suit-coat.

    I really have a fetish for nice ties. An SD two years back did not regularly wear ties to work. One time he did and I was sooo excited. But then it was this…awful synthetic thing. I literally had to work very hard to hide my disappointment.

  444. KindredSpirit says:

    So my question is, could it be possible to build something helpful like that on this blog??

  445. KindredSpirit says:

    Several years ago, I was on a health-related blog that had something cool and perhaps even helpful that I’d love to see here:

    By clicking on the poster’s “name”, you could view every post they’ve posted, chronologically. I loved it because it helped when I was searching for some great advice I’d once noticed but couldn’t remember when, except I knew the person who wrote it. So instead of wasting lots of time scanning every blog topic, I could simply read all the marvelous tips/questions/posts from a particular poster and find my answer, or draw yet more lovely questions for growth. 🙂

    Even better still, if someone wasn’t a frequent poster but had insightful things to say, I could always look back on their lists of posts. Or if I’d been away for a while, and wanted to catch up on a particular person’s “story”, there ya had it!

    In addition, it’s even a bit of a drawing of breath to go back and read my ~own~ posts from a year or so ago…like re-reading a bit of a journal. For the questions we ask and the insight we give…well it says so much about us at that time in our life. Is there anyone else who feels the same…?

    *Dreamy sigh!*

  446. Tina says:

    @ meg – we can justify it. You prefer men with a sense of style that compliments your own.

    See? No longer shallow and materialistic 😉

  447. meg says:


    Well, I suppose an exception might be made…

    Are there any other kinds of ties?? Oh yes. Definitely. There are polyester ties. And wool ties. And…

    That is extremely shallow & materialistic of me. Pardon. Completely out of line with the core values and mission of this site.


  448. Tina says:

    @ Dorky – what a pistol of a grandmother!

    @ Stormcat – unfortunately there are……and they’re SO not nice…….

  449. Stormcat says:

    Meg ~ “Only owners of silk ties need reply”
    Are there any kind of ties? What about silk jackets and cashmere overcoats? And of course all SDs need need at least 3 wool crape suits.

  450. DorkyGuy says:

    @StormCat~. That is wonderful!

    It is like my dear grandmother used to say… “Sex is like a game of cards. If you don’t have a partner, you better have a damn good hand!”

  451. Stormcat says:

    Alleycat ~ Well yaa! 8( Grasshopper here! I’m feeling pretty positive about life just now. I had one of those aha moments when I suddenly realized that I didn’t need a one true love to be happy. The thought of freedom to be with anyone and everyone who comes into my life was nothing less than spiritual enlightenment. And if no one wants to be with me then I can just make myself happy living a good life alone and I won’t have to deal with compromise in order to satisfy others. Besides I’m not alone, I have my sister and my friends and my blog friends here. And I’m really popular when I lose my woe is me attitude.

  452. Tina says:

    Hgirl had an interesting topic started that I think I want to steal and expand on a little. SDs – what are your thoughts on Valentine’s Day? Do you treat your SB? What if you don’t have a current SB – do you have a first date then or do you wait? If you have a first date on Valentine’s Day, do you think this has an effect on the boundaries of the relationship?

  453. meg says:

    @EnglishRose –

    I’m not sure whether it’d be different in the UK.

    In the U.S. – there’s EstablishedMen, which a number of my friends have had success on.

    I know classified ads sound dodgy…but it’s really a numbers’ game. Sugar Dating sites primarily have paid memberships for men only and unpaid memberships for women. You do the math…lol.

    There are many fewer women posting for sugar-type relationships in classifieds. While you’ll likely get a bunch of emails from people you’d NEVER meet, anyone can access the classified ads…and a lof of SD types do check them out (out of curiosity, at least).

    My own experience: I placed an ad…something along the lines of ‘alluring co-ed @ elite university with culinary cravings beyond her means. Seeking to exchange companionship for classy cuisine. Only owners of silk ties need reply…’

    Lol. Great meals at great places with a half-dozen or so. One ended up as a long-term dinner & travel buddy…I’m sure that had I known about sugar dating one or two might have been open to it.

  454. NewYorkGirl says:

    English Rose.
    I can see them in black everyday at Madison ave. CL window. 🙂

    Fly here we will stare at them together. 🙂

  455. Midwest SB says:

    DaddyGT – “Reverse Cowgirl” can lead to some fun spankings…giddy up! When you’re just rockin’ the bed, this can be a great position for the lady! BTW – you must be quite talented to maintain composure while your gf had dessert! Impressive!

    Michael – Hey Aussie! How was your trip? Sorry to hear about drama SB, but if you’re never consistent, it’s going to continue. Of course, she’s not your child, but she has her moments. 🙂 I think meg nailed it!

    Over 40 SBs – I think we ROCK! Everything you said is true and most of us still have great figures! Many of us can carry on a conversation about darn near anything and many of us enjoy a new experience as much as a young lady! I’ve had many firsts in the sugar bowl!

  456. Hgirl says:

    So… what are you guys going to do for Valentine’s day?!

  457. EnglishRose says:

    @New York Girl
    Oh my, those Louboutin’s SEX shoes are to die for!! What I would do for a pair…heard they’re quite hard to find though.

    And George Clooney? Hell yeah! I think he’s incredibly sexy. Can’t really judge on his character as I don’t know him…he does come across a bit cocky but hey – I would be if I was him! 🙂

    I was thinking about looking into other sites but was put off after going onto Sugardaddie, spending time on a profile then realising SB’s couldn’t even READ email without paying!! I’m sorry but…no.
    Worse, when I tried to delete my profile – I couldn’t! You have to pay to delete it, you only have the option to “Hide it”. What a scam.
    So if you (or anyone else!) could suggest a decent alternative site, it would be much appreciated – Don’t worry SA, you will always be my number 1! ;P
    I’ll also have a go at finding SD’s the old fashioned way…have a feeling it’ll be a lot more complicated though :/

    Glad I have someone else who gets disgusted with over aggresive, ball busting feminist zealots, haha. 🙂

    Thanks lovie 🙂 The blog is more helpful and supportive then I could ever have thought possible. A bunch of strangers from across the world, who (at first at least) only have 1 thing in common all talking? Kind of crazy how you can still connect…makes me feel a warm glow towards the human race 😀
    Looks like my positive attitude has paid off – I have a date tomorrow!!

    And I agree about Brad Pitt, I’m not really that keen on him either! But can’t stomach Richard Gere…think it’s because the first movie I watched him in he was a bit of a creep & ever since he just makes me feel…uneasy…shudder. Haha. Sorry Gere.
    Two words – Colin Farrell. Probably not Sd material but my Lord that man makes me want to rip my clothes off.
    And that’s my celebrity rant over now as well, heh 😀

    It is freezing cold! Snow is fun for a day…maybe 2, but after that I’ll be a right Scrooge and admit that it’s a bloody nuisance! Please please send me some sun! I think I’m a cold blooded creature, my body doesn’t seem to heat itself 🙁
    Oh and by the way Pencil Skirts, LBD’s and heels are my signature look, and I have been told, many a time that I wear them to perfection 😉
    Not to blow my own horn or anything…cough…

    Oh and don’t even mention Harrods! The poor tourist fools who go into it’s dark (okay..shiny) coves never to emerge again. Honestly it’s fit for a horror story.

    “You start to grow old when you stop learning, loving and living.” – Tina
    Here here!!

    @Dutch Girl
    Waving frantically back! That’s okay 🙂 I managed to get outside and make a snowman yesterday as well, my sister & I decided to be artistic & made him skinny, wrapped in a snow cloak & with big bushy eyebrows and a moustache – was hilarious because he ended up looking exactly like one of our Uncles 🙂

  458. DaddyGT says:

    I get why they are like that. At least I think I do. Kudos for being way ahead of the curve. The truth though, is that you are probably the exception that proves the rule. And as long as the sugar bowl is so deep, and men can filter by age range, your age range will probably continue to be ‘filtered’ out. Not very fair, but that’s just how it is.

    @Dutch Girl
    Lol. Did he at least have the ring? Hahaha! We men are all guilty of really stupid stuff in our youth!

    Insecure women are just as unsexy as insecure guys. Many years ago, I went out with a girl who was not only insecure, but was mad at me for not being insecure …

    I was working hard, and long hours at the time. We’d go clubbing quite a bit.

    If she’d had a long day, and wanted to sit at the table, I would hit the dance floor. If I danced, or talked to anyone at all, she’d give me the third degree when I sat down. “Who was that you were dancing with? What did you say to her? What did she say back to you? I saw her laughing … what was that about? Why was she touching you? And do forth”. It gets very tiring very quickly.
    (Oh, this was in my mid 20s, before I discovered/decided I was poly, and happy about it.)

    If I’d had a long day, and just wanted to sit at the table, she’d hit the dance floor on her own. I was not bothered, and certainly did not expect her to be dancing alone. I was cool with that though. No questions from me. Then she’d get mad at me for “Never being jealous!”. Like I always said to her though, if the person she was dancing with/talking to was very interesting, she’d tell me all about it. If she didn’t, I just hoped she’d had fun on the dance floor.

    But no!! Apparently the fact that I was not jealous was proof that I did not care about her. Grrrrrrrrr!!!

  459. Dutch Girl says:

    @DaddyGT I think any age range have their own particular issues. I.E Younger people do not have that confidence, self-awareness older people have.

    I dated a guy who was 10 years younger than I (it was legal, just lol) and he actually went down one on one knee in front of my friends – I had to turn him down although he was very cute, intelligent, handsome and athletic.

    He was utterly obsessed with getting married as he saw it as a way to ‘keep me from running away’ and nothing is as off-putting as insecure guys.

  460. Tina says:

    @ DaddyGT: I think I can offer some explanation to the issues late 20 – late 30s have. At this age, women are just starting to see their first few gray hairs and wrinkles, and indicator that they are getting older and can’t stop it. They’re also seeing their dating pool shrink, and people telling them they had better think about having kids soon if they want any, since they’re not getting any younger. Most women in the age bracket have had at least one, if not more, serious relationships that have soured, and they’re experiencing the crap for the first time. By the time you get to your early 40s, you’re learned to deal with all of this. I admire women in their 40s and above – they know who they are and what they want. They aren’t necessarily in your face, but they don’t take any crap. And yes, they are usually more drama free, since they know what they want and have decided that if you don’t have it, it’s not worth the time or the energy to pursue something that isn’t going to end the way they want it to.

    But, not being in my 40s, this is all just conjecture. I have taken stock of how I’ve aged, however, and like what I see so far. I’ve never been into drama, so I think I’m ahead of the curve on that one.

    Have I made my age range at least a *little* less scary for you DaddyGT? 🙂

  461. DaddyGT says:

    Aww. Shucks. Looks like embedding does not work. Here’s the link when it eventually gets through the moderation queue.

  462. DaddyGT says:

    Let’s see if this works. I stumbled on this earlier on some blog. Now here’s a girl with entitlement issues.

  463. meg says:

    @ucSB – agree with Tina on this one.

    @MichaelAlleycat – “My drama-drama-drama SB…is moving to LA… to work in a reality show, and a daily soap.” – well, how well-cast they will be, then…lol.

  464. DaddyGT says:

    Your barmyness, openness, and general don’t-give-a-fuckness is always refreshing, and totally endearing. You rawk!!

    On your quiz
    1) Best sexual experience ever.
    Hard to say. Although an experience with me in a kilt, and a GF giving me a BJ underneath a table in a club springs to mind.

    2) First sexual experience.
    I was 19. 2nd year of university. She was American.

    3) Most awkward sexual experience.
    At the beach. Too much sand

    4) Oddest sexual request ever received.
    One girl wanted me to choke her. Not my thing.

    5) Favorite Position.
    Cowgirl. Reverse cowgirl not so much.

    6) Least favorite position.
    Doggy style. I like eye, and sking contact

    7) Does penis size or shape matter.
    Not to me. I am stuck with the one after all 🙂

    8) Does unshaved v. whatever matter.
    Not too bothered, as long as it is neat. Very long pubes end up in your teeth though. Not so sexy.

    9) What actor/actress would you want as an SD/SB?
    Mmm. Can’t think of any off the top of my head.

    10) Best date in the sugar bowl.
    One SB invited me out for dinner. She started some conversation about “do I know how many business cards I had in my wallet.” She took my wallet, ostensibly to count and see if I was right. Then sat on my wallet, and refused to give it back to me till she had paid for dinner. I thought that that was really sweet.

    11) Best pick-up line you’ve ever received.
    “Can I buy you a drink?”. Hah. Used that one in reverse for a while when I used to travel a lot with work. Hotel bars, with women also miles from home … “Want to buy me drink?” worked great as a conversation opener. I think they were so shocked by the approach that few ever refused to actually buy me a drink. Hahaha

    12) Something someone did for you that turned you on like crazy.
    Organised a surprise party for me. I was genuinely not expecting it. And she managed to keep it totally quiet too. And a bunch of my friends were involved too. Genuinely thoughtful. Great party. And a serious turn on that someone would go to that length for me.

    @Michael Alleycat
    You are so right. I forgot that too. Older women have less hangups, and are definitely NO Drama. I think younger ones too. They are just going with the flow, and given all the hooking up that goes on on campuses, tend to be “yeah, whatever!”. Sorry ladies, but there is something that happens to you in your late 20s to late 30s that just scares the bejeezus out of us blokes.

    Hahaha. I feel your pain.

    I totally agree. There is no need to go there. Once it get to a “I know what I am worth” level of discourse, it has already become a pissing contest, and I for one am certainly not going to go there. Guru has a great post on sugar dating financials. These should give a good idea of what is a realistic allowance for most SDs. That said, a SB displays her value, not by screeming she is worth £xx, but in many more subtle, and infinitely more attractive ways.

  465. SouthernGent2 says:

    ucSB – that dude was trolling you.

  466. StaciM says:

    Yeah! Pillow fight! ( jumping up and down laughing)

  467. Tina says:

    @ucSB: IMHO, a gentleman that cannot hold in his anger at a simple challenge to his credibility and then reverts to name calling and profanity is CERTAINLY not worth anyone’s time, regardless of the amount of money. Mutual respect is a requirement. ‘Nuff said.

  468. ucSB says:

    @SouthernGent2 – Are you serious? …no…she didn’t…really? This guy messaged me saying he wanted to”take me shopping and give me a $20k allowance etc. etc.” i emailed back “you can’t be serious. this is unreal” then he says “i was going to give you my number and sh!t, but after this i can see that you are a MORON!!!” … ummm … Who is a moron? Me? oh…uh, huh

  469. SouthernGent2 says:

    DaddyGT – I had messaged with a girl back in mid January. Everything goes perfect and we agree to a dinner date next time I can get to her city. Then she goes and changes her profile to “I know what I am worth, and if you can’t meet my allowance requirements, then don’t contact me”. She had bumped up her profile to 20k per month. No way this girl will find that amount lol

  470. ucSB says:

    @VaGentleman – ““I am worth so much” speeches”

    thats a very tough conversation if it even has to go there.

    i had one conversation where a sd essentially wanted me to prove myself. honestly, it made my feelings for him go away – and i go with my feelings, so i went away. i said “whether it is a nickel, or a million dollars, it’s a gesture. and a matter of principle.”

    eventually he figured out that he liked me, at least a little bit 😉 and i was happy, because i liked him too 🙂 …

  471. Michael Alleycat says:

    Hello all!!
    @DaddyGT – liked your analysis of different age groups. Like you, I have found older women to be the greatest lovers, and younger women still learning – but it is fun teaching them. The other thing about more mature / older (40+) women, is that they understand the ‘no drama’ rule. So for me, it kind of evens out as I somehow tend to between younger (late 20s, early 30s) to older (mid-40s).

    @Midwest – how are you? MOTB – lol.

    @Stormy – there is a bit of flirting going on here, hmmmm?

    @SD Guru – the horse trainer is going to be a dud, I think. Fun for a few days, but she is looking for occasional P4P that are hard to organise. My drama-drama-drama SB is STILL around (it’s 14 months now, on and off), seeing her twice this week. It’s actually going quite well, as we both understand the boundaries of our relationship quite clearly now, and cross them at our peril. I think she is moving to LA mid-year to work in a reality show, and a daily soap.

    All is good here! Hey, btw, someone won the SuperBowl yesterday!

  472. ucSB says:

    @discreat – “I’m a black SB and it’s a lot of work”

    Is it proper to say “a black”? … I thought that was, like, disrespectful or something?…i donno

  473. Tina says:

    @DutchGirl: I love the Ipad for a fun alternative to a full laptop………and vocational courses are fun as well! I have many that I would like to take, but extra finances are limiting my options at the moment…..good luck! 🙂

    @ucSB: yeah, “shady” is an understatment

  474. ucSB says:

    ummmm…what if the guy wants to take you shopping and it’s his idea…but you don’t know what to get and end up getting something that sits in a bag in your closet…do you just let it sit there?…for over a month? i donno…

  475. ucSB says:

    My college newspaper had ad’s for ‘dancers.’ The ad sounded shady.

  476. Dutch Girl says:

    @Tina I think that is the case. I just hate trawling around shops for shoes or dresses – it is not my idea of fun! As I am a bit of a geek (who looks like Barbie lol) I may ask for an Ipod/Ipad instead. The Apple store, now that is exciting! Alternatively there is a vocational course I would love to do, so I may ask for a contribution towards that as an alternative.

    @StormCat Buying items that can be easily returned is sooooo tacky! I would never, ever do that!

  477. Tina says:

    @ NewYorkGirl: I LOVE your standards!

    @ Stormcat: ask and you shall receive

  478. NewYorkGirl says:

    @VA gent
    “we will be just fine”
    Just fine … Is not good enough.

  479. DaddyGT says:

    What can I say? I guess I’m just a sucker for all the beautiful women here. Can’t stay away!! I hope I did not sully the waters here for you. 🙂 Truth is, I’ve been incredibly busy doing some server migrations. And yes, still poly, and still celibate.

    Have fun on your date. $$ makes sense on so many levels. I too hate shopping. There are so many things I would rather do than traipse around the shops on New Bond Street, or Knightsbridge on any given day of the week! And for me, suggesting we spend the afternoon in Harrods is grounds for breakup. Hahaha. 🙂

  480. Tina says:

    @DG: perhaps giving him alternatives that would satisfy you both? Although you hate shopping, perhaps he doesn’t feel right about giving straight cash; is there something that you need that he could provide that would be something in the middle for the both of you?

  481. Stormcat says:

    Tina why don’t you click on my name and let me know who you are.

  482. Stormcat says:

    Dutch ~ I recall one SB on the blog long ago who when she was taken shopping blatently only bought items that were easily returned/sold. But I found that to be very distasteful and disingenuous. Maybe you should just tell him that you hate shopping.

  483. Dutch Girl says:

    @Stormcat Are you always that suspicious ; ) No sugar for me, although I may have a date this Friday although it is more of a travelling SD and I prefer $ instead of shopping as I HATE shopping. Any advice?

  484. DaddyGT says:

    @Dutch Girl

    Not counting off the months till the naughties are allowed. Seriously, I am often so busy that nookie is not on my mind at all. Only here am I reminded of it. I suppose as I get closer to June, I’ll have to start thinking about how best to get back onto the saddle, so to speak. Heh!

    I agree with you on age not being a definite guarantee on anything. It is however, a strong indicator. Young’uns are more likely to be awed by things I might take for granted, than the older woman. I am still awed by many things too. But then again, I’m not that old. 🙂 And yes, once you stop learning, you start aging.

  485. Stormcat says:

    Welcome back missed bloggers English Rose, DutchGirl, DaddyGT, Midwest ~
    Interesting how the polyamorous DaddyGT aledged celebet reappeared on the scene on the same day as fellow country babies ER and DG and the upwardly mobile Midwest . . . Hmmmm 😉

  486. DaddyGT says:

    Good to see you are still here. Been reading about the freezing cold in London right now. I was going to head up there for a few days next week for a friend’s birthday, but have cancelled that trip. So glad I am not there at the moment. Will send you some sun. Really hot and sunny down here at the mo. 🙂

    I have to agree with you on “I am worth so much” speeches being a total turnoff. In my mind, anyone that says that is implicitly devaluing my time, and my presence in any interactions to a value of £0. I pissed off a pot SB once, who came up with something similar on email, when I said, “Fine, now, from that, deduct what you think I’m worth, and we’ll have a figure for your allowance”. That did not go down too well. Nevermind. And I have learned my lesson. The best SBs are those who use sugar to augment their lives, and not as their primary or sole source of income.

    on pregnant women
    While I have to admit that many women look incredibly hot when they are in utero, I have never been attracted in a sexual way. That other folk do though, should be encouraging to everyone who is still looking, and worried that they might not fall into the stereotypical SB or SD. Different strokes for different folk, and hopefully someday the geography or logistics align in a way that puts you in with the person just right for you.

  487. Tina says:

    @Stormcat: I hope she does as well, it would be interesting to hear her experiences.

    @ VA Gent: here ya go! :mrgreen:

  488. Va Gentleman says:


    24 yrs younger ? OMG I wouldn’t know how to relate to anyone less than 40 lol ( where is that green s**eating emoticon when you need him ? )

    We will be just fine !

  489. Stormcat says:

    Well the pregnant woman I spoke of became pregnnt intentionally (I think by AI) set up her profile very early in the pregnancy and is now the mother of a 3 month old. She had several SDs during the pregnancy and currently has 2 SDs who are happily helping her out regularly. I hope she posts here and comments about her experience and what the relationships are like.

  490. Dutch Girl says:

    @English Rose Waves frantically! Things will get better sweetheart, I promise.
    Sorry not to have been in touch, I have been playing in the snow, making snow men, having snow ball fights and swooshing off hills on a sledge, not very lady-like but very much fun!

    @DaddyGT You have to wait 6 more months or so for any naughty stuff to be allowed – are you counting the days off yet? Do you have a calendar where you tick off the days, weeks, months?

  491. Tina says:

    @ Midwest I conceded my victory to Guru, but I will rise again! 😉

    @ DaddyGT: Interesting take on the ages. I can def see your point on the older women; as I age, I find myself less self conscious and more self aware which I quite enjoy. I think in general you can judge by age, but there are always exceptions. I also don’t think age has anything to do with the “awe” factor, it’s experiences. I can still be awed and am well over the early 20 stage – I choose to approach life with the attitude that I HAVEN’T seen or done it all, and there are still so many great experiences out there. I can deal with “real life” quite well, which is something that comes with age, but I don’t ignore the new experiences and learn from them.

    You start to grow old when you stop learning, loving and living.

  492. @discreat
    I’m a black SB and it’s a lot of work.

    Nothing’s culminated in an actual meeting but it’s a lot of you sending out messages letting people know that you’re interested in their profiles. I guess the odds are a bit ridic – you send out 100 ‘I’m interested messages’ get back maybe a fifth in response and maybe about a fifth of those are actually relatively interested in meeting you.

    I’d love to share and compare notes if you’d like!

  493. Hgirl says:

    My experience with women in the late 20s to late 30s has been bad. IRL, I get the “where is this going?” speech very quickly. In sugar, I find you can almost tell that they can’t wait for Mr Right to just get them out. Right now! Pretty much all my bad sugar and IRL dating experiences have been with women in this age bracket. Maybe it is just the biological clock ticking and all that. I dunno.

    Agreed and this is why I wouldn’t recommend it to my friends. Even if they say they just want money or whatever, in their minds they’re going to be hoping he’ll sweep them away. At the very least be upset when the money is gone. Girls my age are very easily changed and could get the wrong ideals with the wrong guy; one of my friends got married so she’d never have to work again. It’s been a year and guess what – she’s unhappy. Not surprised. Even if a guy were to up front say they were never ever going to be serious again she’d think he just hadn’t met anyone worth settling for.

    There’s only one girl I’d recommend this to and she’s already naturally in this type of relationship so 😛

  494. DaddyGT says:

    Oh yeah. I have never read Memoirs of a Geisha, or watched the movie ….. Mmm, might have to get that soon.

    This site has a list of Geisha Books.

    The one I have read (a few years ago) is, Geisha: A Life by Mineko Iwesaki, which I found very interesting, very honest, and quite moving. I strongly recommend it.

  495. DaddyGT says:

    on advertising for interns
    Bad move. Irrespective of where you are in the world. You open yourself to so much legal liability that you will be paying off lawyers for the next century and a half.

    on age range
    I think I am weird in this regard. My attraction tends to be with women who are 10 years younger or 10 years older than me. Go figure.
    sub 30::
    More like sub 25 to be honest. Youth is always very attractive, but I love their innocence. In my sugar days, I had the privilege of sharing many “first time” experiences with young women. Things I might take for granted. Some of them were not that expensive … things like a ride in a Black Cab. Dinner at a top Mayfair restaurant. A night at the opera, dressed up. Never queueing at a nightclub. Having a table reserved at a busy bar or club. Something magical about being there when someone is genuinely surprised, impressed, and totally awed by things one tends to take for granted.

    post 40::
    More like older than 45. I love older women. They have been there, done it all and got the t-shirt. They are amazing lovers. They tend to have very few, if any romantic hangups. Not that they aren’t loving, they are more interested in the practical than the ‘sing ballards for me outside my window’ crap. And they tend to be amazing lovers. Fewer hangups. Far less self concious, and are as interested in their own orgasm as I am. They know what they want out of a sexual relationship! Great teachers too 🙂 And there are a lot of women older than 40 that remain physically attractive. For me, this is just *WOW*!! Plus, I am such a sucker for Pencil Skirts, little black dresses, and heels. Older women (in my experience), pull this look off much better than the younger ones. MILFs rock!!

    My experience with women in the late 20s to late 30s has been bad. IRL, I get the “where is this going?” speech very quickly. In sugar, I find you can almost tell that they can’t wait for Mr Right to just get them out. Right now! Pretty much all my bad sugar and IRL dating experiences have been with women in this age bracket. Maybe it is just the biological clock ticking and all that. I dunno.

  496. Midwest SB says:

    Oh yeah…when I was pregnant, I had several men ask me out. There does seem to be a fetish about it, plus the whole pheromone thing (and she can’t get pregnant for a while..yikes!).

  497. Midwest SB says:

    I love all the witty banter this weekend!!!

    Be still my fluttering heart…SDinLA has appeared and as clever as ever! How’s that honest woman thing working for ya? So nice to see you back!

    Hey TexasSugah!!!

    Thank you Sarah, Content, et al for your well wishes! Vacay was recharging and I think I did well on the test! Now…back to reality. *sigh*

    I LOVE the emoticon wars! Maybe we can have a page with the codes for all those unique ones! I think Guru wins, but Tina sure gave him the challenge!

    Emily – I’m 44…don’t sweat the age stuff!

    RE: Why do the older ladies pick on the younger ones? I’ve been known as the MOTB…Mother of the Blog…and I do tend to pick on our younger ladies at times. Mostly out of motherly affection, but also because there are certain ideals that I find worth treasuring in the sugar world and will fight fiercely to help maintain them.

    I’m worn out and need to rest from my vacation, so cheers for now!

  498. NC Gent says:

    loving the Humbert Humbert allusion 🙂

  499. NewYorkGirl says:

    @VA Gent.
    “how old did you say you are?”

    What I said was “I am too old for you” 🙂
    And I am 24 years younger than u r Mr. Humbert Humbert. ( would that work? 🙂

  500. Tina says:

    Awww, how can I ever thank you Dorky? :mrgreen:

  501. DorkyGuy says:

    @Tina, and we will shamelessly let you carry it! 😀

  502. SouthernGent2 says:

    Follow me on Twitter:


  503. Tina says:

    Don’t worry Dorky, we get embarrassed for you. Women can carry enough shame for BOTH sexes;)

  504. DorkyGuy says:

    “I suddenly felt very embarssed for my sex.” ~EnglishRose

    Regarding feminism, preach it sister! As for being embarrassed for your sex, don’t give that any more though. My gender would constantly be embarrassing itself, except for the fact that my gender has no shame..

  505. Tina says:

    Stormy – perhaps replacing the mallets with pillows would be more intriguing? Everyone loves a good pillow fight now and again 😉 That emoticon (notice I didn’t use “smiley” 😉 ) is more for my working life – there are just some people that, whenever you interact with them, you feel like you’re hitting each other with mallets.

    Sooooo, back onto the current piece of the blog, I have an issue relating with men younger than me. And some even my own age. I prefer older men – I guess I just have an old soul. That doesn’t mean I don’t know or can’t have fun, it’s just a different type of fun. And yes, I can still be silly. Wine and dinner for a date is just as acceptable as a picnic and spontaneous water balloon fight.

  506. Stormcat says:

    H-girl ~ Great post about older guys not trying to act young. The reverse it true too. It is definately poor taste when an otherwise mature woman dresses and acts like a teenager. However that doesn’t mean that an older guy shouldn’t try and bridge the generation gap by trying to understand or become knowledgable about the popular culture of the younger. And vice versa. A huge part of being unable to relate to each other because of a 20+ age difference can be overcome with very little effort by willingness to learn about the others experiences and kindly clueing each other in when knowledge/experience gaps arize. Sharing this can even add to the intimacy/closeness and augment the connection.

  507. Hgirl says:

    Back to Stormy’s “would you go there?” question… I have never seen a profile quite like this. Seeking a virile man to get her pregnant with children that her impotent husband has agreed to support to adulthood. Talk about being a literal “sugardaddy”. The legal risk sounds huge.

    I read a profile of a SD saying he’s looking for someone youthful and one of the things you have to agree to is eventually moving in and having his babies! No marriage, of course. Maybe they should go for each other.

  508. Hgirl says:

    One thing that was kind of funny about my date, by the way, was that after I gave the keys to the valet was I was waiting for him to come out and this guy thought I was there with a group of girls (I didn’t even notice they were standing behind me) and started hitting on me before my date. LOL! I kept trying to stop talking to him after I explained I didn’t know them and tried to politely explain I wasn’t interested. I wanted him to leave, but I didn’t want to scream “I’m on a date leave me the %^*@ alone!” Some people are literally so clueless. I bet he bothered those girls the rest of the night.

    Soooooo unfortunately, I had this kind of awkward moment with my pot SD like “nope… I have no idea who that guy was…” I almost felt like I was trying to prove myself because seriously what are the chances a random guy just comes up to me right there? He probably thought he was an ex or something. Awkward! But it ended up not mattering in the end anyways.

  509. DorkyGuy says:

    Back to Stormy’s “would you go there?” question… I have never seen a profile quite like this. Seeking a virile man to get her pregnant with children that her impotent husband has agreed to support to adulthood. Talk about being a literal “sugardaddy”. The legal risk sounds huge.

  510. Stormcat says:

    Hey Tina 8)
    I like that one! The sneaking up from behind kiss is definately more attractive to me than whapping each other over the head with gigantic mallets!

  511. Hgirl says:

    @VA Gent: You bring up a very interesting point . What is it about College age SBs who DO participate in this lifestyle with SDs 20-40 yrs their senior ?

    Sugar( power,postion,fancy lifestyle, stuff ) is obviously the biggest part of the answer but what else makes this OK ? ARE some young ladies truly attracted to an older man physically ? And if you are the only girl in your sorority of dozens ( hundreds ? ) of girls who can “DO ” this lifestyle what fraction of the female population do you think are available for SD dating ? 1 % maybe ?

    I can’t say for other sugar babies since I’m not willing to date over 40s, but for me I am not physically attracted to older guys most of the time. I’m not sure for women that it is physical anyways though? There is some physical “minimum” for me, but outside of that I don’t care too much. I don’t really think of this as a lifestyle, this is just something I want to explore more and participate in. To be honest though, even when I date guys my age they always buy me things, take me out, etc. I had a SD date on Friday (and it went really well – I really liked him! 🙂 I didn’t think I would but I’m glad I gave him a chance because we had SO much fun) and then I had my open-relationship guy visit (they both know about each other) and it was basically the same thing for me. We went out, they bought me things, etc. The younger guy (only 4 years my senior) I’ve been seeing for well over 2 and a half years. He’s really sweet but we live far apart, etc and we haven’t even though about “long term” and I wouldn’t say we’re in love but we’re very passionate. He doesn’t see anyone else other than me because he’s a workaholic but I think he likes me because it’s convenient (or maybe he just doesn’t want to see anyone else? I don’t know). The younger guy is physically of course far more attractive than the older guy, but chemically I find them equally attractive. I’ve dated older guys before too, and for me it’s chemical! I’m guessing for women dating men 20+ years older than them they can find some connection.

    I for one could no more be interested in a woman over 50 for all the tea in China –even an heiress who would set me up for life –and 40 is really pushing it . Each to their own I know .

    Probably because attraction for you is more physical or at least starts physical… as it generally is for men.

    So I understand where young women are coming from re: old men . Ironically , we old men are still attracted to young women even though we have “aged out ” of that group . Our brains ( and sex drive (little brains ) do not age out . I know anthropologists can explain the biology of attraction and reproduction of the species –right ?

    I think this is kind of exactly what my friends mean when they say they can’t date an older guy – I’m the same way! I want an older guy to know, acknowledge, and act like he’s older. Also to use it to his advantage I guess. There’s so many variables in age differences that I think I’d be upset if a guy didn’t realize he was much older and let me experience it with him; what the point?! I have gone on a few dates with older guys convinced they were still young and I basically couldn’t take it – what a joke. 😛 Sorry, but you’re old! Deal with it. Every age has a benefit and you’re wasting your time wanting to be 20. I don’t mean we can’t enjoy the same type of things, but I’m sure you’re not the same now as you were when you were 20.

    I would say if you’re trying to target a younger group don’t come off as “we can be young too!” because no one is going to take that seriously. I would come off as that you have an advantage, you’re different, and can show a whole different side of dating, etc. You don’t see younger women trying to say “I can be old!” They use all the appeals of being their age. If you’re older, you should do the same. There are also appeals like experience, guidance, etc from a perspective you just aren’t going to hear from people your own age/your family. It’s kind of like a whole different type of relationship to date someone older.

  512. NC Gent says:

    OK — just to clarify… my question is hypothetical and just because I asked it doesn’t mean I was going to follow through with posting such an ad…. was just curious if college women would even consider responding to something like that because what an SB said earlier about the sorority pitch and internship…. I may be dumb but I am not stupid!

  513. Tina says:

    SouthernGent2 – I think I might take offense at your age range 😉 There are a few older, ahem early 30s, women that know what they want out of life, take care of themselves, but life has thrown them a few curveballs……..and a woman is only worth as much as the person she is with wants her. Even supermodels are turned down time and again. Everyone has the potential to be everything and nothing to someone, regardless of stature, looks, money, etc etc etc

    And good afternoon Stormy [img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sex002.gif[/img]

  514. SouthernGent2 says:

    Tina – you said some of the magic words. When you mentioned about certain girls wanting “to be taken care of”, that is a huge turnoff for me. I made that mistake once, never again. I also get turned off when a girl says “I am worth so much”. I know that girl is always going to have her hand held out, so why waste my time. So that eliminates part of the market for me right there. I have found that the best types are 24-26, career started, but wants a bonus to their lifestyle. JMO

  515. Stormcat says:

    NCGent ~ ” thought/question…. would you respond to an ad for a summer “internship” job opening (sugar innuendos included) if you saw it in your college newspaper?”

    I would strongly discourage placing an ad or doing anything like that! Your exposure to sex discrimination charges resulting in your shelling out for a huge judgement award is just the beginning.

  516. Tina says:

    @ NC Gent – you DO ave quite a challenge! With this economy, many of my friends that started their lives as independent contractor types of jobs that you mentioned above have been forced to move to a more traditional career, with their passions as a second job to make ends meet. I think it would be interesting for SA to see what the uptake on new SBs are in the past 3 – 4 years that are career women, single / divorced / widowed, late 20s – early 40s that have signed up and dipped into the sugar lifestyle. Someone on here said at one point (so many blog posts, so little time to absorb them all!) you’d be shocked at how many women on here are not looking for a SD to provide for their entire lifestyle, just a little supplement (or as an escape from themselves).

  517. Va Gentleman says:

    @ Meg

    ” so what’s your age cap ” ?

    Nothing is absolute Meg but in any search screen I usually put 18 to 35 .

    @ NYG –how old did you say you were ? One of my favorite drinks is a Whte Russian LOL

  518. NC Gent says:

    Tina — there are very few women in my desired age range that are looking for an SD and have the flexibility to travel during the week. It is usually realtors, event planners, photographer, waitresses, or independent consultants that have businesses that can travel (e.g. web designer). A very limited pool indeed!

  519. Tina says:

    That above statement is based on the late 20 / early 30 age range…..doesn’t apply to early to mid 20s……

  520. Tina says:

    @SouthernGent2: I’m sure there is someone out there, although I can see your difficulty. I’m in the age range you’re looking for, and what I’ve come to see there are *basically* two types of women – those that take care of themselves and those that depend on others to take care of them. Unfortunately, those that take care of themselves usually require a career that doesn’t have flexibility. And, again unfortunately, the women that have decided to be dependent on others have the type of personality that you’re not looking for / attracted to. Don’t lose hope, though, she’s out there!

  521. SouthernGent2 says:

    I’m with NCGent. Its not easy finding someone. Somehow, some way, there has to be a bigger market in the 20’s age group. Certain schools in that Top 20 list prove that word of mouth, newspaper articles, etc will bring in a lot of new profiles.

  522. SouthernGent2 says:

    KindredSpirit – southeastern cities generally speaking.

  523. Tina says:

    thank you meg for the award, although I think I have some competition from Dorky today…..

    @Dorky I’m glad you had a fun night out! And humming is perfectly acceptable with your mouth full.

    As far as younger versus older feminists, I think that through the generations feminism has changed. I’m perfectly fine being seen as a sex object – there is power in knowing and embracing that. But, see me as JUST a sex object and you’re likely to be left very, very lonely with blue balls. I’m more than that, but I am also that. And I think that’s where the controversy is – older feminists have a view that being seen as a sex object is always inappropriate, while the younger feminists are embracing this facet of their femininity and using it to their advantage. I think that modern feminism is more about making what you have a strength and using it to your advantage, instead of “raging against the machine” for things that are perceived as weaknesses.

    I’ve always been attracted to older men. The older I get, the larger the age gap attraction gets.

  524. meg says:

    @NC Gent – Re. posting a summer “sugar-ship” in a college newspaper?

    I personally think…that’s just pushing too far.

    I imagine that being followed with a slew of “oh, just 10 years after sexual harassment statutes were passed…yada yada yada…”

    I would suggest, again, alternative weeklies. CL. A flier-ad on a bulletin board at a restaurant/student bar near a campus. (You could hire an SB to do that for you).

    I think if SA were to seek interns (no sugar involved) through a college career counseling website (or place an ad in a student newspaper) that would be totally kosher though, and PC enough.

  525. KindredSpirit says:

    NC Gent~ “Finding a sane, attractive (to me at least) SB in that age range that has flexibility to travel with me has been allusive as a unicorn this time around!”

    Hooray!! Thanks for the uplift! 😀 Rare gems indeed….

  526. NC Gent says:

    ok and since everyone else is chiming in… my desired age range is late 20s to late 30s. I am in my late 40s. Finding a sane, attractive (to me at least) SB in that age range that has flexibility to travel with me has been allusive as a unicorn this time around!

  527. NC Gent says:

    OK question for the college SBs (and anyone else who wants to comment)… the universities in my area are not that well represented on SA… some of the discussion above made me have this thought/question…. would you respond to an ad for a summer “internship” job opening (sugar innuendos included) if you saw it in your college newspaper?

  528. KindredSpirit says:

    SouthernGent2~ May I inquire what cities you may stop in…? 😉

  529. KindredSpirit says:

    Oh, and AFTER SA, yes of course I’m still attracted to much older men! Didn’t quite phrase that right, but ya get the jist. 😉

  530. SouthernGent2 says:

    Meg – my top filter is 29. I have recently been looking at up to 32, but just haven’t found someone in the places I go to for business.

    I like your comment above about the quirky adv for someone that might be looking for a dinner companion businessman when he visits town. That’s a comfortable situation to me. There is no pressure or concerns about being seen by someone you know (which is why I don’t like meeting locals). So the more relaxed attitude comes through in my case. You enjoy a nice dinner, and if it leads somewhere then that is great. If not, then I still had a nice dinner with a beautiful girl instead of eating alone at some chain place.

  531. KindredSpirit says:

    George Clooney is physically hot, Brad Pitt is not. Funny how one guy can do it for me but not another…boiling down to preferences again!! Also, I find Richard Gere hot, too. Ok I’ll stop on the celebrities, ha.

    VAGentleman~ “ARE some young ladies truly attracted to an older man physically ?”
    …Before I joined SA I was attracted to men my age up to around 20+ older…whether they had any money or not. I rarely mentioned it to friends or family, due to judgements thrown at me. But, yea, it’s true and possible! 😀

  532. meg says:

    @ VA Gent & Southern Gent…

    Lol…so what’s your age cap?

    My age-min is 35. My age-cap is 55 (and possibly, 60-or-so if they look younger and contact me).

    The age-min…immature in this situation…& the 29-35 age-range is way too close to ‘perfect-bf-range’.

  533. KindredSpirit says:

    Welcome back EnglishRose~ you were missed! Sorry to hear about your current troubles, but thanks for confiding as you know we are here to cheer you on. Love your positive attitude, btw!! 😀

  534. NewYorkGirl says:

    English Rose and Midwest.
    R u kidding about Clooney?
    He is just too full of himself , his look is too sweet (do not know how to say it), I find him not masculine enough , I am not attracted to him at all and neither of my GFs.

  535. meg says:

    @ English Rose on feminism…

    I was in the Vagina Monologues last fall at my University.

    The performance was raising money for what I understood to be an organization that works to raise awareness about ‘violence against women.’ Which – awesome. I also am against Violence-Against-Women…who’s not?

    The after-show talk by the organization we sponsored…it turned out to be an anti-prostitution-pornography-sex-work-broadly organization. There was no mention of domestic violence or child abuse. I believe someone in the audience asked what was to be done and the end-note was “stop going to strip clubs. stop watching porn. stop…etc.”

    I vomited a bit in my mouth.

  536. SouthernGent2 says:

    VaGent – good post on the sorority numbers and such. From what I sometimes see, girls sign up but never really pursue having a SD. Just recently I had messaged someone, only to have her come back and tell me “this is not for her at all”. I think at least half of the coeds sign up, then lose interest, or find its not for them. And of course one of the comments I get is that get cautious about guys that come across as pervs in their messages. Some girls think it might be a fairy tale, then find out its not.

    Like you, I could never see myself with someone older than a certain age on the site. I realize that makes some in this blog sensitive, but that’s just the way it is. The SA filters on age are there for a reason.

  537. NewYorkGirl says:

    Oh… I did everything wrong,
    Wanted to make this my avatar. But I am so low tech. 🙁
    Sorry guys.

  538. meg says:

    @ English Rose: re. “…juggling the rather empty sugar bowl…” – oh, I know EXACTLY what you mean! Try other sites & other ways of looking for an SD. (I swear to got, they pop up in the most remarkable places…)

    My personal opinion?
    -There are more 9 & 10 SDs on SA than any other site.
    -There are 20-30x more 9 & 10 SBs on SA than on any other site. (I had an SD-friend show me the ‘flip-side’ of SA through his account a few months ago; tabulated – average of 12ish new SBs in my town, vs. 2 SDs daily…)

    But lots of other places have SDs (tons of 6-8s…lol) too. Try other sugar-dating-style sites; also try (I know this sounds dodgy, but…) alternative weeklies or internet classifieds?

    Depending on the kind of thing you want, if you write a quirky advert (for example, looking for a special friend to share nice dinners with; or looking to accompany a businessman on travel…whatever) – that could be a great way of meeting someone who is not on one of these websites.

  539. NewYorkGirl says:


  540. EnglishRose says:

    @Pumpkin & NewYorkGirl
    Thanks 🙂 I hope things work out too! I like to think I am selective, but not picky…if that makes sense? 😛
    But yes, there does seem to be a trend for less generosity in English men.

    @Va Gentleman
    I am definitely one of those girls who finds older men physically attractive, and I have for as long as I can remember. I always fancied the teachers at school, I liked my friend’s dads in my teens & I come on SA now! At 21, I wouldn’t really be that interested in a man under 28. When I was 17 I dated a 30 year old! Not for very long though..sadly he broke up with me when he realised I wasn’t 21, heehee..poor guy.
    But I would be very happy dating a man in his 40’s if we clicked, I think it’s unfair to let numbers play such a definitive role. I mean…how many young women don’t fancy George Clooney? He’s in his 50’s!
    And when it comes to having things in common…well, everyone can relate to enjoying travelling, or walks in the parks, or being a dog/cat person, these things are not age exclusive. So I really think what it comes down to is the person. There are some 40 year olds which would be highly unsuitable for me, who I would find very unattractive….but the same could be said for plenty of 20 year olds too!

  541. Va Gentleman says:

    @ HGirl

    ” While I do see the number going up on SA, I don’t think most girls my age are comfortable with guys much older than 30. ”

    You bring up a very interesting point . What is it about College age SBs who DO participate in this lifestyle with SDs 20-40 yrs their senior ?

    Sugar( power,postion,fancy lifestyle, stuff ) is obviously the biggest part of the answer but what else makes this OK ? ARE some young ladies truly attracted to an older man physically ? And if you are the only girl in your sorority of dozens ( hundreds ? ) of girls who can “DO ” this lifestyle what fraction of the female population do you think are available for SD dating ? 1 % maybe ?

    I for one could no more be interested in a woman over 50 for all the tea in China –even an heiress who would set me up for life –and 40 is really pushing it . Each to their own I know . So I understand where young women are coming from re: old men . Ironically , we old men are still attracted to young women even though we have “aged out ” of that group . Our brains ( and sex drive (little brains ) do not age out . I know anthropologists can explain the biology of attraction and reproduction of the species –right ?

  542. NewYorkGirl says:

    English rose.
    Sorry to hear no sugar for you. 🙁
    I know u r very selective, and England men usually are not generous (well at least some of them).

    Good morning to everyone. 🙂

  543. Pumpkin says:

    @EnglishRose: Welcome back! I hope that things work out better for you soon. I’m sure that you will id the silver lining.

  544. EnglishRose says:

    Thanks for asking about me! You guys are so sweet, honestly. Had a bit of a hard week, trying to look for work & juggling the rather empty sugar bowl, I’m finding it funny how many similarities keep popping up between the two searches. Hardly any one replies, people seem keen & responsive & then don’t get back to me, and everyone wants everything they can get out of me for as little as they can give. And I’m getting kicked out at the end of the month!
    Sorry to be a downer, I hate sounding miserable, it’s ever so boring 😛 Things will pick up I know, just got to give it time 🙂
    Nice to read everything that’s been going on!

    RE: Favourite pick up line
    “Do you have a boyfriend?……….Do you want one?” The beauty of this line was in the tone/gestures – Imagine a slurred London accent, an emphasised pause and then the second line delivered with cocked eyebrow and full-faced grin. Pure genius.

    RE: Feminists
    This is a subject I feel quite strongly about, and in turn – get very irritated with! Like Dorky Guy I like to think that the younger, more modern feminists are more…realistic, and, like he said, accept that men and women are different, and there is nothing wrong with that.
    I feel that woman are too hard on men for being overtly sexual creatures just because they don’t have the same desires/needs.
    I was watching the opening of Hefner’s Playboy Club in London, with hordes of feminists chanting outside “Eff off Heff” which frankly, I thought was just plain rude, let alone when they started to yell “Shame on you” to anyone who walked into the Club. I suddenly felt very embarssed for my sex.
    And angry – angry that, while calling themselves feminists they were being so completely unsupportive of some women’s choices. Those women who work as Playboy Bunnies are not victims, they are adults, in a professional working environment, who make their own choices and choose which assets to capitilise on.
    How dare a feminist say that any women who uses her sexuality to progress in life is a “victim”, or look down on women who choose to be stay at home mums and think that they have not been “liberated”.
    That is not feminism. Being a powerful woman comes in all shapes and sizes, and it doesn’t mean you can’t still be sexy, and soft.

    @Black Cherry
    There’s a few of us in the London area, we try and meet up occasionally (had the best night out last weekend with Dutch Girl and Baby Doll,) you’re welcome to come along.
    I shall kindly ask the Blog Gods to exchange our emails! 🙂

  545. ContentSB says:

    @Covert —

    “It’s good that they tell you to create a good brand for yourself as an individual. (But via Facebook?! Ok, that will take you about 30 minutes to do, if that)”

    Not just FB. Twitter, Tumblr, a personal website/blog, LinkedIn, YouTube, Pinterest, 4sq, G+, commenting on other industry related blogs etc. You can’t build a meaningful, positive, online presence in 30 minutes. Just doesn’t quite work that way.

    “However, I politely disagree with the fact that it would ‘prove’ any capability at any given company.”

    It’s a starting point. Of course the hiring process is more extensive than that and does require previous marketing plans and a successful interview. But if you can’t even manage your own brand, you can be sure no company is going to trust you with theirs.

    Re: Chrysler Super Bowl ad

    I’m a fan…but I was a fan of Eminem’s last year. I’m a sucker for pep talks..especially if they’re given by Clint Eastwood lol 🙂 The response on Twitter seemed overwhelmingly positive, but I haven’t read any of the advertising blogs/journals yet, so I can’t speak to its effectiveness, or lack of.

  546. CovertSB says:

    lie when at war…not in love

  547. CovertSB says:

    hahaha.. lie speech was a bunch of lies…damn im twisted.

    ‘on the real’…+1 with dorky…oh wait, now dorky has +2!

  548. CovertSB says:

    lmao dorky

  549. CovertSB says:

    @ contentsb –

    i dont know how you developed yours skills, or how developed they are, or what purpose they serve.

    “Creating a positive ‘brand’ for our personal name proves that we could do the same for a company”

    It’s good that they tell you to create a good brand for yourself as an individual. (But via Facebook?! Ok, that will take you about 30 minutes to do, if that)

    However, I politely disagree with the fact that it would ‘prove’ any capability at any given company.

    Now, I may be completely wrong …but I think that showing a potential employer a sample ‘Marketing Plan’ and going through an interviewing process would prove something to a greater extent.

    Ok, so, you’re into PR/Marketing? What did you think of the superbowl half time commercial for Chrysler? Just curious…

  550. ContentSB says:

    @Dorky — Hmm…I’m sure that would’ve worked if I hadn’t wanted that before you pulled the hand waving Jedi mind tricks 😉

  551. DorkyGuy says:

    Jedi mind tricks 😛 ~~waves his hand~~ “you want to sleep with DorkyGuy

  552. ContentSB says:

    @Dorky — +1. Why do I always agree with what you say?? Such a wise man 😉

  553. DorkyGuy says:

    @ both CSB’s… kudos on a well developed insomnia! right there with ya.

    @CovertSB regarding lying as a lifestyle… That sounds like a really f’ed up and unhappy way to live. Sometimes lying is the kindest thing you can do, true, but a lifestyle of lying comes with a price. Nothing is free.

    Consider this. If nobody knows what to believe because of all of your contradictory lies, then nobody can trust you. When somebody I care about lies to me, it feels like a personal betrayal (not a tactic to confuse, as you present it). Where there is no trust, there is emotional distance.

    Sometimes, the one thing you need most in the world is the trust of the people you love. Even more than that, sometimes you need to feel close to them. And how is that possible when they don’t trust you?

  554. ContentSB says:

    @Covert — My skills obviously weren’t as developed as yours then 🙂 maybe *that’s* what the problem was 🙂

  555. CovertSB says:

    …lie in high school?…oh no, honey…these deception skills were developed WAY later in life during adulthood. Thank you corporate america and government. God Bless!

  556. ContentSB says:

    @Covert — Insomniac and a procrastinator…working on some hw due at 8 am….I’ve of course had a week to do it, but what’s the fun in getting things done early? :p Checking out this blog certainly isn’t helping my productivity either!

    I SO wish I had a completely open relationship with my parents…but sadly they wouldn’t approve of most of my decisions…so some things still remain unsaid. I admire you for having that kind of relationship with them!

  557. CovertSB says:

    Whoa ContentSB is an insomniac too?

    My parents know EVERYTHING. Thats my blood. They have a need to know.

  558. ContentSB says:

    @CovertSB — Is that you SarahSS?? lol 🙂 I was a lot like you in high school. I would lie…lie…lie…deny…deny…deny…which totally did result in the ability to convince myself the lies were the complete and utter truth. However, it hurt several people in my life…namely my parents. I’ve come to believe the truth always comes out, even if it’s YEARS down the road. I know it works for some people, as it did for me for several years, but ultimately I decided that continual deception didn’t create a fruitful life.

    Re: Facebook/digital footprints. It doesn’t have to be this *huge* negative thing. People only know what you want them to know. I’m not an advocate for 100% transparency, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with sharing a little about who you are in an online setting. In some industries it’s even impossible to avoid. As a PR/Marketing student we’re told constantly to make a professional online presence for ourselves, because if we don’t, employers won’t even give us a chance. Creating a positive “brand” for our personal name proves that we could do the same for a company. But, I obviously realize this doesn’t apply for most people. I think I have a “weird” view of digital footprints lol 🙂

  559. CovertSB says:

    …and the best part yet: if you try to background check me – nothing will check out! No pattern, no footprint, no verifiability. There are some major government agencies can accomplish such a daunting task – but it is awfully lengthy and expensive.

    Tip: Keep your digital footprint at zero or very close to it.

    Facebook?!…THATS crazy!

  560. CovertSB says:

    @ContentSB – “Most weren’t too judgmental, and a few even met my former SD when he came to visit. It wasn’t really planned, but they knew which bar we were at, and they showed up…probably out of curiosity and to make sure I wasn’t totally crazy!”

    Oh I don’t even bother with partially crazy, I am (eh, can act) 100% crazy! The thing is: I can lie, and lie more, and deny, and then lie even further….once you think you have ‘the truth’ on me, you just realize it’s another lie. I will lie straight-faced, laughing, wide awake, half asleep and everywhere in between … Get me drunk? HA! I will lie even further…oh yeah, I can lie SO well that I can convince myself that it’s actually true…now THATS crazy! And it takes some serious training 😉 But if you can master this self-deception – it is nearly impossible to ‘let it slip’ … because, in your mind it doesn’t even exist!

    See, the thing is, lying can be good at times. By telling multiple contradictory confusing lies, you give the other person the option to choose what they want to believe. Options are GREAT! Also, telling a multitude of contradictory lies can confuse the other person to the point that they don’t know what to believe – but again, they have the option to choose. Unless, of course, I ‘lie by omission.’ in which case they have no options. (Thank you to my sweetest ex-bf who reads this blog! I love you for teaching me this particular method. And I love you even more for the ‘random check ups’ to see if I’m still alive! xxxooo)

    The truth is told on a “need to know” basis ONLY. Very seldom does a situation exist where there is a “need to know.”

    SomeONE(s) DOES have a ‘need to know’ of my whereabouts and have a method by which to contact me at all times for safety reasons.

    oh this blog is great!

  561. meg says:

    BTWs. WHERE are you all finding these awesome emoticons?

    Tina – You win the prize for best emoticon. Please explain how?!?!? I want to make one too!!!

  562. ContentSB says:

    @nwsugarbaby — OR, get really drunk and let it slip :p That may or may not have happened with me when I was with a group of co-workers.

  563. meg says:

    @ StaciM My guess for the 10-yrs-older-than-you thing? If they’re single, their biological clocks are ticking and you’re a symbol of men being taken out of their marriage-minded dating pool. If they’re married, they’re jealous they didn’t have more fun before they got hitched.

  564. ContentSB says:

    @nwsugarbaby — I agree with Meg. I followed her outline pretty closely, except I said that another friend and I jokingly made profiles. I have distinct groups of friends, due to location, so I knew they would never interact and find holes in my story. Most weren’t too judgmental, and a few even met my former SD when he came to visit. It wasn’t really planned, but they knew which bar we were at, and they showed up…probably out of curiosity and to make sure I wasn’t totally crazy! 🙂

    Safety is absolutely the most important thing though. Never meet a potential SD without telling a friend where you’ll be. If you don’t want to tell any of your IRL friends, ask one of us on the blog! We have to have each other’s backs in this sometimes crazy lifestyle 🙂

  565. meg says:

    Sigh – when I’m 30-60, I’ll be very wealthy and have a 20-something sugar-baby [m].

    Lol. That’s my plan.

    Or I’ll join the Mackinnon camp. Mmm…I guess fate will tell.

  566. meg says:

    @ StaciM – well, if you’re 20-something and hot…& on SA…

    Who are the guys you’re meeting?

    They’re 30-60 something men cheating on their 30-60-something spouses.
    Or they’re using their wealth to date you over another 30-60-something woman.
    Or they’re using their wealth to date you rather than have to
    a) deal with 30-60-something women who are looking for husband/baby-daddies.
    b) deal with 30-60-something women who are emotionally demanding.
    c) deal with 30-60-something women who take 3-6 months to put out.

    If I were 40-something, I’d be a bit threatened/irritated by the whole SA thing too…

    Obviously more complicated than that…or maybe not…lol.

  567. PhoneGuy says:

    @StaciM, this won’t answer your question (we would have to find an older feminist to really find out), but I think older people in general just pick on younger people because the older people think they are wiser. Sometimes they are right, sometimes they are wrong. 😉

  568. ucSB says:

    @meg…exactly! And after you tell them…then they will make fun of you and gossip…THEN they will do it themselves 🙂

    and yes ALWAYS have a safe buddy … in any kind of dating, or anything else that you are doing

  569. meg says:

    Or – if they’re negative about it – simply phrase it as a positive thing. Like ‘curiosity’ or ‘voyerism’ or ‘playing around’ (as in, fun Saturday night activity. Create a rando profile and read rando emails from weird creepy dudes. (that’s actually a lot of what you get…anyways!)

    And then if you meet someone worth meeting up with, it’s a serendipitous – well, I was doing it as a joke, but then this really hot 30-something Doctor sent me a nice email & invited me to [expensive restaurant x] and figured, why not.

    It really depends on the type of people you hang out with. I would recommend starting out by only telling people you know won’t tell other people (& even explicitly telling them not to share further) – learned this the hard way…but yeah.

    Hope that helps!

  570. meg says:

    @Nwsugarbaby – Yeah, agree with ucSB –
    1) Say – “oh my god, I saw this 20/20 article (or NYT Article…) or whatever on ‘sugar dating?’ have you heard about it?”
    2) Evaluate reactions.
    3a) If overtly positive, disclose now.
    3b) If overtly negative (& you care about said person’s opinion of you) add something like “yeah, sort of creepy, huh. Would never do internet dating.”
    3c) If not overtly negative or overtly positive, add something like – “god, I’ve always liked older guys, & wouldn’t mind some [insert expensive thing here]” [laugh]…
    4) Gauge reaction.
    5) If receptive/supportive/positive:
    a) insinuate that you want to check it out.
    b) disclose as in “ummm…can I tell you a secret? I just created a profile.”

  571. StaciM says:

    @meg – Oh no …. it’s the menopause thing, again?…is it really true? (hands in face) say it aint so.

  572. meg says:

    A “men & women are different world” works out a whole lot better for a 20-something woman than a 45-50 year old one.

    Personally think that’s pretty much what it boils down to.

  573. StaciM says:

    Um…Dorky…Why do they pick on you if they are only 10 years older?…not 30

  574. DorkyGuy says:

    @nwsugarbaby, on a serious note, it’s important for your safety that you find someone to talk to and share info with. Find a safety buddy who you tell where you are going, who you are meeting, and all of the info you have about him, especially for first meets. I know some SBs on the blog have paired up for that purpose. Besides, a little moral support couldn’t hurt 🙂

  575. StaciM says:

    Thank you for answering! I like answers. Confusion gives me wrinkles.

  576. ucSB says:

    …all the while pretend that you don’t know anything about it. My SD plants ideas in my head like that all the time! I learned it from him 🙂

  577. ucSB says:

    “(poke poke) … psssst….(whispering) … did you hear about that website? I think it’s called ‘Seeking Arrangement’ or something?…” … something like that

  578. ucSB says:

    @nwSB – Uh….well…How?…by gossiping.

  579. Nwsugarbaby says:

    Im still new to the sugar bowl less than a couple months. Loving it so far though. Not many people from my college area on here. I had a quick question how do fellow sugar babies tell your friends. Good idea bad idea etc. I know not everyone could understand this lifestyle choice.

  580. StaciM says:

    that was funny LOL

  581. DorkyGuy says:

    @StaciM, I think the definition of feminism has changed, right along with how women perceive their sexuality. Just last year, Hugh Heffner made the controversial statement: “Of course women are sex objects”, and had feminists agreeing with him. 30 years ago, they’d have been livid. Older feminists (whose views have not matured with time) seem much more rigid and paranoid, whereas younger feminists seem to accept that men and women are different, are more accepting of those differences.

    Just my two cents though… I am neither a woman nor a feminist, so my opinion probably doesn’t count for much.

    Q) How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A) That’s not funny

  582. StaciM says:

    Ok…I have a question…Speaking of world peace … Speaking for myself and my girlfriends: Why does it seem as though the older women (feminists) pick on the younger women (feminists) sometimes?

  583. StaciM says:

    OH MY GOSH!!! These emoticons (hands covering mouth)

  584. DorkyGuy says:

    “they literally were telling me that was gross and old men are nasty pervs” ~HGirl

    And young men aren’t nasty pervs? I think being a nasty perv is something most of humanity has in common, and we could use that as a basis for achieving world peace..

    @Tina, sorry to leave you hanging! Had a fun night out. By the way, girls aren’t the only ones who shouldn’t talk with their mouth full. [img]http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smileys/free-sexy-smileys-942.gif[/img]

  585. StaciM says:

    In hindsight, all of my relationships (er, all of my really good relationships) have been de facto NSA. (Whatever that translates to.)

    Resident psychotherapist Tina or Guru can figure that one out – I’m not a therapy expert!…or a Guru!

    All, everyone keeps saying to watch ‘Geisha’ … but the author supposedly exploited a geisha for her story and misrepresented the truth/spirit of being a geisha.

    So is it really that good to watch. I don’t want to pollute my mind 🙂

  586. StaciM says:

    Yes I agree w/Hgirl – Successful dating on this site takes a certain mindset. Whether the person is born or raised or grows into this certain way – who knows? But it’s not for everyone. The majority of my girlfriends couldn’t handle it emotionally/mentally…even physically. Then again, the majority of my girlfriends can’t handle their current relationship, either. I donno…

  587. Hgirl says:

    Number of college SBs going up that is!


    Ah!! You’ve gotten too attached too fast 🙁 slow down. I would maybe back away from this until you feel okay with not being with him. We all know what that initial strong attraction is like when you’ve found someone so perfect, but you’ve got to step back because it’s kind of like torturing yourself wondering if it’s going somewhere or not. You’re going to be okay with or without him!

  588. Hgirl says:

    @Tex: Me thinks Hgirl goes to UTD!

    Nope… I go to a respected school – UTD is a joke. Secondly, wouldn’t move back to Texas (esp not near Dallas) for a billion dollars! I just can’t live in that Texas weather!

    @Va Gentleman: But I also don’t think that I can adapt to the the real world again after experiencing this one . Do YOU think you will be able to ? Is the future going to always be about money and power ?

    I’m not really prissy or demanding, but all of my boyfriends have treated me like a goddess (I did the same in return) even before I signed up for this. Maybe it’s unrealistic but I just don’t want to get involved with someone unless they clearly show a huge amount of effort/interest on their part.

    Is there an place for a SD to advertise for a coed SB arrangement in a college town that is not well represented on SA ? Some of you have mentioned that there aren’t many SDs in your zip code . Part of the problem for willng and able SDs is to gain access to the SBs without coming across as a creepster .

    Oddly enough there are tons of SD’s in my college town!

    As far as the whole recommending it to other sorority sisters is: I would not recommend this to my friends. I tell them what I’m doing and tell them all the downsides because I just can’t see them handling it. They’re emotional, they get too trusting with the guys their with, they do want the strings attached (they always start off saying “oh no we’re just FWB” and end up in an unstable relationship), and I think they’d take this as a normal relationship and get heart broken. I literally don’t know any girls my age that could be okay with this!

    Another thing is – they’re definitely not going to be okay with dating older guys. I told them my date on Friday was 38 and they literally were telling me that was gross and old men are nasty pervs 😛 and no wonder they had to pay up. Yep – pretty sure it’s not something easy to advertise! While I do see the number going up on SA, I don’t think most girls my age are comfortable with guys much older than 30.

  589. Tina says:

    And apparently SD Guru you’re in the cave naked and shaved, since the comment was made that you were found with neither beard nor robe….

  590. Tina says:

    @SD Guru, I’m sure many people are wanting their own like this at the moment [img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-violent080.gif[/img]

  591. NewYorkGirl says:

    @ VA gent.
    I thought we are already all set up for the Waldorf ? 🙂

  592. Tina says:


  593. Tina says:

    Hey, I’m apparently a new SB AND a budding therapist! AWWWW-RIIIIIIIIGHT!

  594. Tina says:

    Because these emoticons are not keystroke based, they’re gifs………….. I’m cross-eyed from looking for the dead horse one, but now I know what I’m looking for, and am relentless….

  595. StaciM says:

    @Tina – “I’m ALWAYS up for a good challenge……make life a little more fun when you don’t have it all figured out!”

    That’s why my life is fun? Well, theres a years worth of therapy in one sentence. I love this website!

  596. SarahSweeheart says:

    Is there a “shhhhh” smiley? Or an “I’m not telling you sh – -” smiley. @SDGuru if you find it please tell me where it is. I really need a “I’m keeping my mouth shut so don’t even ask me” smiley. @Tina can find it, I bet she’s a good snoop 🙂

  597. SarahSweeheart says:

    Well I really have no idea how to spell it but it was some funny sh!t !!!!!

    • SD Guru says:

      Either way much cheaper to ask him than therapy that’s for sure.

      I’ll be happy to send you a bill… and there is no cure for blog addiction! :mrgreen:

      Does the munching popcorn emoticon work here Guru?

      You mean this one??

      His cave, once I reached it after a breathtaking climb high up a sheer cliff, was surprisingly plush, with all the mod cons.

      I sold the cave during the bubble because some developer wanted to build condos on it. Then after the crash I put all that money in gold. The developer went out of business during the crash so maybe I should go buy my cave back… Follow the money, right? 😉

      I really need a “I’m keeping my mouth shut so don’t even ask me” smiley.

      You mean this one?

  598. Stormcat says:

    Tina ~ You used to be able to right click on any EMOTOCON and the keystroke code would pop up. But that doesn’t work anymore.I wonder why?

  599. Stormcat says:

    Where did that h go? I meant Sarah as in Sweetheart!

  600. Stormcat says:

    Tina ~ we stand corrected and should cease using the word smiley. The appropriate word is emoticon. But then Sara is just being contrary because she is trying to get someone to spank her! 😛

  601. SarahSweeheart says:

    @TexaSugah – So….uh…when women hit menopause they don’t want intimacy anymore? Wow…I really had no idea…That sounds awful! To just not want it anymore?! Oh my! I had better enjoy this pre-menopausal stuff A LOT MORE.

  602. Tina says:

    Oh, I WILL find his source…….

  603. SarahSweeheart says:

    That was the best emoticon ever!

  604. Tina says:

    I’m SO going to have to search for that posting to see that…..I’m ALWAYS up for a good challenge……make life a little more fun when you don’t have it all figured out! 😉

  605. Stormcat says:

    Anyway; experimenting is admirable 8)

  606. Stormcat says:

    OK look back up on this topic or the last and you will find he used a “beating a dead horse” smiley. Where the eff did he get that from?

  607. Tina says:

    Ok Stormy, what kind of faces does SD Guru use that no one else has? I’m curious now……..

  608. Tina says:


    And the dorks I’VE known usually tough it out. Take that as you would like 😀

  609. Tina says:

    I wasn’t going to go that far Stormcat, but if you insist……..I was experimenting if wordpress also used common HTML smiley tags…..I just like to experiment 3:)

  610. Stormcat says:

    Tina “guess I scared him off…..wimp”
    What do you expect from a dork? :mrgreen:

  611. Stormcat says:

    Tina ~ google wordpress smiley. You’ll find the ones that work here. But SDG seems to have a bunch more that he uses that the rest of us don’t know about. I have a feeling we would have to become proficient in using html tags to access them. (Too much work just to make a face)

  612. Tina says:

    Dang, none of those worked like I wanted them to, so sad :'(

  613. Tina says:

    I think I’m just good with my fingers >:) And I don’t know about his fantasies since I’m new and he disappeared on me already…..guess I scared him off…..wimp :S

  614. Stormcat says:

    Hanging? Wasn’t in one of those chinese contraptions that he fantasizes about, I hope. 🙄 Hey, you’re pretty good with the smileys 😉 maybe you can stick around and teach us SD bloggers a few new ones so we can compete with SD Guru.

  615. Tina says:

    Awww, poor Stormy! I’m full of laughs if you need’em 😉 It looks like Dorky left me hanging 🙁

  616. Stormcat says:

    PhoneGuy ~ I donno . . . seemed kinda reasonable to me!

  617. Stormcat says:

    Dorky, Tina ~ LMAO You’re on a roll . . . Keep it up, I could use a lot more laughter at the moment!

    SDinLA ~ “I have been retired from being a SD for almost 3 years now, and hope never to have to return to this.” I assume that means you ave either found love or given up entirely. So if you did find love might I inquire about exactly where you were looking?

  618. PhoneGuy says:

    Maybe I am a little conceited… I just received an email from SA saying I had been “favorited by Kendra”. When I clicked the link, I full expected to see Kendra Wilkinson.

    Dorky, you dork. 😉

  619. Tina says:

    Best comment I’ve heard in a while? Cee Lo Green on “The Voice”: “Baby, everybody’s the same color with the lights off”……..

  620. Tina says:

    If it’s done right, she shouldn’t have the energy for “the talk” right after 😉 And I’ve very rarely had the opportunity to try to talk with my mouth actually full – is that an invitation? 😉

  621. DorkyGuy says:

    The hearing loss is actually a benefit… a good 10 minutes of not being able to hear after sex, right when she wants to have “the talk”? I agree, moaners are nice too. But don’t discount the ones who remain totally silent, because they were raised never to talk with their mouth full.

  622. Tina says:

    Moaners are so much nicer – all the reaction of a screamer, none of the hearing loss…..and much less sticky than a sweater 😉

  623. DorkyGuy says:

    @Tina~ That reminds me of Christmas. I got a sweater for Christmas. I would have preferred a moaner or a screamer.

  624. Tina says:

    So I’m a little behind on the conversation, being relatively new and all, but I have to put my thoughts in. I’m opinionated, at least in print 😉 I have a college degree through the traditional path (high school, then 4 years of college), which means I WAS the college co-ed (although the sugar lifestyle wasn’t in my life at the time). Looking back on that time, now in my early (almost mid) 30s, I like the person I am now better than the person I was then. I’m more confident, and actually know what I want out of life; I know how to keep a relationship in the right perspective, and not get swept away when inappropriate). There are many benefits to having an older SB, and I’m looking forward to seeing what is out there.

    @ Stormcat and Dorky Guy – I’ve been reading through the blog and you’re both absolutely adorable. I hope you find all that you are looking for. (But, just for the record, waking up sweaty AND alone is not fun at all Dorky!)

    @ jenniebug, SarahSweetheart and meg: you’re absolutely fabulous!

    And a good spanking is ALWAYS needed 😉

  625. Katie says:

    I just registered as a college sugar baby and deleted my other account but I deleted the wrong one. Can you put it back please?? x

  626. TexaSugah says:

    @ Dorky guy .. Love the quote. A good guy friend of mine always says, “A man without finance is a nuisance”.

  627. TexaSugah says:

    @sweetheart – wow, interesting story. My newest Sugar is in an open marriage. Well, actually she’s menopausal and is just kinda done. She’s also European so it’s a totally different vibe.

    I have gotten virtually every book for my two grad programs from Amazon. I was able to get the Prime shipping at a discount as a student and the books were FAR cheaper. The bookstores really get you.

    Might be a good thing for a college sugarbaby to put on her wish list. Generally the books are listed for the course when you register. The worst was my final when using technology books, there was a new edition every semester it seemed. =-(

  628. NewYorkGirl says:

    I did e mail you:)

  629. Bella says:

    With Penn State being so close to the top of the list, I would have expected more SD near me. I’m still keeping my fingers crossed though 🙂

  630. DorkyGuy says:

    Maybe I am a little conceited… I just received an email from SA saying I had been “favorited by Kendra”. When I clicked the link, I full expected to see Kendra Wilkinson.

  631. SDinLA says:

    @Guru/ContentSB that should really read “specializeD in coed SBs.” I’ve been retired almost as long as the bloke in South Africa’s been celibate.

    @DorkyGuy re: “Men are like bank accounts.” That saying is out of date, bank accounts don’t generate interest these days! 😉 I prefer to go with Tony Montana’s advice to Manny, “In this country, you gotta make the money first… then when you get the money, you get the power… then when you get the power, then you get the women.”

    re: “in the crease”, but if you are “in the crease” on a rink it does not necessarily mean you have scored! There’s a “slot” in hockey too, and you can score from there or the crease…

    @AnnaMolly Right back at ya, gorgeous. Just stopped in to say Hi this weekend, had a bunch of free time, everyone’s obsessed with some gridiron game or something.

    @SouthernCharmSB Pleased to make your acquaintance. Actually, as I said above, I have been retired from being a SD for almost 3 years now, and hope never to have to return to this. I used to come here for the camaraderie and to flirt with Anna Molly and Midwest.

    re: meeting one of your SDs at an internship interview, I actually never met any of my SBs online, they were all young ladies I met IRL.

    @SouthernGent2 as above, I retired long ago from this game, so I leave the coed SBs in your capable hands, regardless of locale. And what’s this about “coed chaser?” I always made them chase me, it was a lot less work that way. 😉

    re: the sorority “pitch”, one of my SBs who was in a sorority actually tried to find me her replacement amongst her sorority sisters. Didn’t find a match though. I think the key is to find a certain type of person, whether or not she was in a sorority, who might be receptive to the idea. That particular SB was very ambitious, super-outgoing and business-minded, and she looked at “recruiting” her replacement almost as part of her “job.” Of course, I helped her with a move/expenses and with grad school tuition after our arrangement ended, so we were and are on good terms long after the arrangement ended. She had to be VERY discreet though, there’s no way she would have brought it up in front of all of her sisters, she targeted specific girls that she thought would be open to the idea. Of course, everyone thought she was just dating an older guy vs. her being open about being a SB, but they thought I was ten years older than her and not twenty so I guess that was believable. If you do line up a “presentation” at a sorority, I would love to see your pitch deck beforehand, that would be classic, from “Slide 3: Reasons why a sorority girl should have a Sugar Daddy” to “Slide 12: Strategies for how to introduce your SD as your uncle when you unexpectedly run into someone you know.” 😉

  632. Cora says:


    drop me a line at astorplace525 at gmail

  633. DorkyGuy says:

    “Men are like bank accounts… Without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest.” ~Unknown

  634. SarahSweeheart says:

    @TexasSugah – Great article! The woman in those pictures is HOT! Confession – My Dad’s mistress looked a lot like her. He met her in is 20’s on a family trip to Louisiana. (Yes, my mother granted him permission, no big deal. They loved each-other and she had met the mistress on several occasions, even on a trip to New Orleans!) He always said, “I love how she looks with blush on her cheeks. She is so beautiful” I never got to meet her 🙁 … BUT just two days ago I said, “Dad, If I did what your mistress did does that mean that I am a slut?” He said, “No, of course not. But what do you call a girl who goes and sleeps with some guy who doesn’t have feelings for her and doesn’t provide for her?” I said, “Uh…not very smart?” We both laughed. True story.


  635. ContentSB says:

    @Dorky — Mr. Rodgers is welcome to make a drive into my endzone whenever he likes!!

    Sex with him would probably be SO AMAZING that it would deserve an audience of cheerleaders. And, sex so rough I need a helmet?? Totally intrigued….!

  636. SarahSweeheart says:

    @Emily – (re some prior posts) NO you are not too old! Are you kidding?! 35 isn’t old at all! Girl, I worked my booty off in college w/ full time enrollment, double major, 30+hr a week job/internship—it was SO hard. Took six years! Finally in year 3 I got a mentor, who eventually became a de-facto sugar daddy. Wow, so that makes 8 intermittent YEARS now in the sugar bowl…holy smokes!

    Anyway, I’ve heard of Sugar Babies being in their 50’s! No joke!

    Anyway, you’re not old, AND you can still find an SD to help you finish your degree. It just takes time 🙂

  637. DorkyGuy says:

    Lol, so would Mr. Rodgers be welcome in your endzone?

    Sex with him probably would resemble football, in that you should be wearing a helmet, and you might have to tune out the cheerleaders.

  638. SarahSweeheart says:

    Yay Superbowl (you know me, typical american co-ed alum sorority cheerleader) Tom Brady can be my SD! Madonna can be my SM!

  639. ContentSB says:

    Re: Sports terms

    Shouldn’t we all be using football terms today?? Even if it a sad day in the NFL. Part of me really doesn’t even want to watch, especially since the only team that matters (Packers…obviously) isn’t playing lol 🙂 Mr. Rodgers can be my SD any day!! A girl can dream, right??

  640. SarahSweeheart says:

    @Dorky Guy – hahahahahahahaha

  641. DorkyGuy says:

    @Sarah, in baseball terms, using the home run to describe sex is pretty good. But I still prefer the hockey equivalent… “In the crease”

  642. Va Gentleman says:

    @ ALL college coeds

    Is there an place for a SD to advertise for a coed SB arrangement in a college town that is not well represented on SA ? Some of you have mentioned that there aren’t many SDs in your zip code . Part of the problem for willng and able SDs is to gain access to the SBs without coming across as a creepster .

  643. Va Gentleman says:

    @ Sarah Sweetheart

    Good show Sarah ! I loved your wordplay and bon mots ! You hit a home run with that post –even a hole in one (That’s what she said )

  644. Va Gentleman says:

    @ NYGirl

    ” I would not be so judgmental about TGIF. ”

    I know ya’ll I’m just kidding ( a little ) The marketing rep for TGIF called and gave me grief . Sardi’s for crying out loud ! NYG ,we will be going to a fancy place on our 1st date –don’t you worry !

    @ Stormcat

    ” by the way I’m pregnant.” I wondered who would go there?

    That would actually be very sensuous and to boot you would have free breast milk . I think it would be very cool as long as it wasn’t my baby lol !