7 years ago
Empowered Women: Finding Men on Your Own Terms


For those of you who wanted to read the GQ Magazine article about SeekingArrangement.com, it is finally published online:  Are sugar daddies and sugar babies the future of online dating?

March is National Women’s History Month in the United States and United Kingdom, and we couldn’t resist the opportunity to celebrate; after all, empowering women is our mantra (and that of every sugar daddy). This year’s theme for March is even closer to our hearts, as an emphasis on “Women’s Empowerment and Women’s Education” is the focus for 2012. We believe that nothing is more attractive or more inspiring, than a beautiful, educated women, and we believe that all women should be able to take advantage of every opportunity available in order to reach her goals.

So, for this entire month of March, in honor of the fairer sex, we will be offering all women a 2-for-1 discount on premium membership. Though all women have access to a basic membership free of charge, there are many additional benefits of being a paid member. Premium sugar baby profiles are featured prominently to sugar daddy members, and premium accounts have access to advanced search features. From March 1st to March 31st, all premium sugar babies who pay for an upgrade will automatically receive twice the number of days.  (Note:  Your extra days will be reflected on your membership before your original upgrade expires.)

So, if you purchase a 30-day Sugar Baby premium membership, you will receive a 60-day subscription instead.  And, if you buy 90-days, you will get 180-days, whereas 180-days will get you 360 instead. If you have been flirting with the idea of trying out a paid membership, this month is your chance! A premium sugar baby membership starts at only $20.

In addition to this promotion, we will also putting a more feminine touch on the blog this month. We will be celebrating women all month long with topics about Sugar Babies and Sugar Mommies with “how-to” posts and success stories. If you are interested in sharing you sugar story (anonymously, or otherwise), we would love to hear from you!

One of the things that has set SeekingArrangement.com apart from other Sugar Daddy dating websites is our goal to set a higher standard for what it means to be a Sugar Daddy and Sugar Baby. Becoming a Sugar Baby is a lifestyle choice, not a last resort. Sugar Babies choose to seek better relationships that provide more sustenance and allow them to cultivate their ambitions. A Sugar Baby chooses to enter into an arrangement to enrich her life and better herself. We always support a woman with ambition, and encourage every women to seize every opportunity available to them. By consciously deciding to live outside the realm of perceived possibility, a Sugar Baby is choosing a path of empowerment and increasing her odds off success in life.

Our purpose is to provide the platform to make these arrangements possible, and inspire women to take their lives into their own hands. A relationship can be formed at any time in a variety of ways. It can start out as a friendship and blossom into something more. Or it could start out as a one night stand and never go any further. You can’t control love or the way another person feels, but you can control circumstance. Instead of being picked up in a bar by someone who sleeps in his mother’s basement, why not create a relationship on your own terms?

Some women dream of becoming princesses or even just to actually find a real life gentleman to fall in love with. Other women just do. They know what is possible for them, and they arrange for it to happen. They are told they can’t have their cake and eat it too, but with some arrangements, that is even possible too. The beauty of the Sugar Lifestyle is that every one gets exactly what he or she wants out of it. And there is nothing more empowering than living and loving outside your means – except perhaps getting away with it :) 

How have you been empowered as a Sugar Baby?

By choosing the sugar lifestyle,  what opportunities have you had to better yourself?

Sugar Daddies: How do you feel the Sugar Bowl encourages a women to better herself?

Leave a Reply

631 Responses to “Empowered Women: Finding Men on Your Own Terms”

  1. euphoria says:

    New blog…. post there….

  2. Elizabetta says:

    How does it work? I’m a SB

  3. Elizabetta says:

    How does it work? I’m in SB

  4. flyr says:

    As a generalization I think too many profiles are written for the masses. As someone else noted spend some time describing in general why your SD will be happy.

    Before you write what you want in him think carefully and write with enthusiastic precision so that his reaction is YES this person is looking for me. If you want a mentor in addition to sugar say so.

    Monitor who looked at you and who favorited you . If the looked or favorited you and you like what you see respond

    The initial response should show that you have read the profile.

  5. flyr says:

    tammy – I would be happy to take a look at it if I knew the search criteria or name. Not sure what is the appropriate protocol here

  6. Tammy says:

    I do not know why I have not been having the best luck making any connections on here as of yet. I am a patient person and also a compassionate person. I also am persistent so I will never stop trying. I am wondering if it is because of my age or if it maybe is where I live. I am new to this so I really don’t know what it is. I would like to think that I am beautiful…I just am confused. If anyone has any tips for me please let me know.

  7. Angel says:

    I’m just wondering what the success rate is on this site? What makes it “#1”? Is it because there are more members?

  8. Sexy&Sincere says:

    Excuse the typos…

  9. Sexy&Sincere says:

    eHi everyone! This is my 1st time ever reading a blog or posting. I truly believe a SB has to be direct & honest about her needs to her SD. I find being here is more honest than “regular” dating. I feel SDs like to negotiate their timeand seeks to invest with soeone that is sincere and not so “needie” but does have a need to advance or further her position in life. Maybe she was dealt a bad hand but is still happy & willing to cater to a Man but does not want the nonsense or lack of consideration many “daters” display SO being in an “arrangement” is a win /win. IF both honor thier words and follow thru on what they agreed on initially. Let’s be real BOTH probably are hoping for a real connection/attraction. SB want some form of surprise be it a gift, a new idea to make $, an investment in their biz or they want to be given respect & admired. Usually the SD have limited time to waste it is either taking the fun out of having a SB or it’s making them seek someone else. Most SB should know its about seduction & being a joy to be around and the real SD can afford to assist a SB IF she is willing to stand her position rather than assume a variety of them! LoL *of course once a SD is interested he would like to move forward and if he at first treats this as a biz transaction dont get offended after all he didnt make $$$ by negotiating against himself. He wants a SB You want a SD correct? then STOP fooling yourselves. It’s an arrangement one which BOTH need to discuss what they are willing to bring forward otherwise Do NOT waste the time of those of us that are willing to play by being honest sincere and appreciative. : )

  10. Honey says:

    But I’ll never get rid of the books, I have like 6 plus bookshelves and still tons of books in boxes.I need to switch over to e-books!

  11. HotCoEd says:

    Thanks Honey :)

    Books! I love to read :) I feel the same way about my closet, I need to do some spring cleaning!

  12. Honey says:

    No prob!Great tips! great bod! Are those books or videos behind you?
    Going shopping…really need to clean out my closet first..! I should be shot!

  13. HotCoEd says:

    OOps! did not mean to post those images thought it would appear as my picture… Sorry! haha

  14. HotCoEd says:

    Hello all,
    I am a SB :) It makes me feel very empowered that I can set exactly what I want out there. I am getting many things achieved in my professional life that I would not be able to without a coach/mentor/SD… :) I am really empowered to be able to achieve goals now that I would have had to work a long time to do this. Obviously, I am very thankful & appreciative of my SD & he is happy to see me as an empowered woman. I do not have to feel like I’m “selling myself out” because I am mutually happy enjoying time & companionship with my SD.

    @Tammy look at the bad apple blog: Know what you want & do not compromise. As they said “NO” means “NO”. Get a bad feeling, don’t meet the guy. This may offend some, but I think experienced SDs are better. Manys SDs I have talked to who are under 40 (there are some exceptions!! please, I am not trying to offend anyone, but if you are under 40 & a respectful SD, you know that there are many guys your age who are not respectful SDs) usually do not know what the site is about, believe that we SB are escorts and I have had very negative experiences where they try to “bargain” their way into things or flat out are disrespectful calling me a “service” or arguing.
    The BEST SDs, do not try to compromise with you and if they do not like what you have to offer, they politely say “Good luck & we seem to not be a match”, they do not degrade or insult you. I almost wish I had started my own blog when I first started of how SB/SD should treat eachother & my experiences. If you are not careful, it can be rough! [img]http://images.seekingarrangement.com/prod/photos/B06AC91B32EB610560E79544E8516E8BAH.jpg[/img]

  15. Tammy says:

    I am new to this and have not met anybody yet. I hope to meet nice people and have some fun. I always like to keep it positive so I am hoping not to be let down. Any advice for a SB just starting?

  16. flyr says:

    Have some sympathy for us SD. We get all kinds of mixed messages from Euph’s to someone in the middle of the first meeting , first glass of wine from the bottle , ” so if I give you head in the parking lot how much are you willing to pay” . It’s a jungle out there.

  17. flyr says:

    euph “So, are you accepting my proposal?” …..((we meet a tottaly of 4 times before intimacy……I would also expect my allowance of $3000-5000 up front at the first meeting))…………

    flyr – we are but a Grand Canyon apart.

  18. Nicole says:

    Wow, I had no idea all of this conversation was going on here! I love this month’s topic, and this blog post… and the great conversation! I am new to this, and really enjoyed hearing a little bit about everyone’s experiences! So… nice to “meet” you all! :)

  19. euphoria aka jenniebug says:

    So, are you accepting my proposal?

  20. flyr says:

    euph: “we meet a tottaly of 4 times before intimacy……I would also expect my allowance of $3000-5000 up front at the first meeting. :-)”

    I think I said traditional sugar relationship ……. were something like the above proposed I would search for the DELETE key

    In my “target audience” I think the approach does two things – results is a better start and probably a lower budget but one which is more comfortable. Unfortunately the sudden stoppage of the sugar flow in today’s world can have bad consequences.

    Others have an approach that assures a ready supply of replacement SD’s sort of a farm club.

    Finally, if anybody from SA ever reads these it would be wonderful if there was a jump to most recent button.

  21. euphoria aka jenniebug says:

    @flyr- of course, I would expect a terditional SD/sb relationship too. This means that we meet a tottaly of 4 times before intimacy. These meetings should take place once a week. I would also expect my allowance of $3000-5000 up front at the first meeting. :-)

  22. euphoria aka jenniebug says:

    @flyr- OK, now I want to be your sb for 1 month…. then you can provide me 6 months of sb allowance after that. You sound like an ideal candidate for me.

  23. euphoria aka jenniebug says:

    @VA Gentleman – Exault!

  24. Va Gentleman says:


    ” That leads to the SD/SB prenup . A good SB deserves assurance that if for financial or other reasons you desire to exit that you will provide either notice or sugarmony for N months. . On the other side she is free to call it off should she meet Mr Wonderful. ”

    What planet are you from ? I guess you have never been married and had the pleasure of paying Alimony for much of your adult life . Nevertheless , Sugar dating is supposed to be NSA ,no drama enjoyment of an “arrangement” that exchanges Sugar for companionship . there are no guarantees beyond that which the 2 parties involved agree to . If you feel the need to guarantee Sugarmony when your SB dumps you then knock yourself out .

  25. euphoria aka jenniebug says:

    New frigging blog…. post there so I don’t need to spend 5 min loading old comments…
    I am Jenniebug…. hear me roar!

  26. PhoneGuy says:

    I think what you are saying is very nice and a bit self-serving..
    You presume that you are capable and able to handle the dissolution of an arrangement but the SB isn’t and cannot. SBs must be dainty, vulnerable waifs who need our protection. They should have assurances that no one in the real world has. Assurances that they cannot give us in return. You call it “keeping them on edge” but no one knows if they will have their job tomorrow…or their wife or their SB. I don’t know that I won’t be “traded to the Mets” tomorrow…by my employer or my SB. There are no guarantees in life. Why do the SBs get a safety net but I do not?

    >I’m not trying to preach but rather sharing what works for me.
    I’m not sure I would say it “works”. I guess you don’t need the money and it makes you feel good giving it to them. And they probably appreciate getting it. I guess I could offer to pay double for everything I buy and say that works for me. I certainly wouldn’t hear any complaints…

    No one “deserves” anything…or even if they do the universe is so random and arbitrary that they should not hold their breath waiting for what they deserve. Give your SBs whatever you wish when the arrangement ends. I will do likewise but I won’t come here and tell others to emulate my behavior.

  27. flyr says:

    If SB receives checks from your business and she is not incorporated or an LLC then you probably have to send her a 1099.. Others probably use more low profile arrangements

  28. flyr says:

    It sounds like you are a very intelligent , accomplished woman. I would select only those pictures that convey the message you want to convey. Don’t try to be right for everybody.

    A serious SD is going to want to meet sooner rather than later.

    Perhaps it’s age or an approach to the type of relationship but the reason I am here and not on backpage or a similar site is that like to find an emotional and intellectual connection plus just having fun together. Once you have established that a+b+c are there I would like it to last and the not have my partner feel that she may, on any day, be traded to the Mets. I want her to feel comfortable and not at risk.

    Others feel that keeping someone on the edge is to their advantage. I am not one to say that my way is the best or only way but only that it works for me. I am counting on her to light up my world and she is deserving of some minimal assurance of not being dumped. When I found someone on the other world that I wanted to date on an exclusive basis I let my SB know .

    Part of this is that most of the women I have dated here have been college students or single mothers for whom the modest contributions were critical to them.

    While these relationships have a commercial element, to me that distinguishes them from an escort or similar is that they are special people – for me they were pursued based on their character, intellect and sensuality.

    If they have met Mr Wonderful I want them to go with their heart. If I loose a week or two of prepayment so be it. .My experiences (2) with this situation was one check in the mail (wihi9c I sent to the Boy Scouts) and one incredible farewell night that left me bleary-eyed for a week.

    I’m not trying to preach but rather sharing what works for me.

  29. Christiana says:

    Trisha I am new too but if he hasn’t made a firm decision to meet up then I would say he is dragging his heals and you have other options to persue and see how he reacts to that.

  30. euphoria aka jenniebug says:

    New blog people…… post the for more responses!

  31. Trisha says:

    Hey everyone, I am fairly new..Hello hello,,, Question, I have been texting a SD, and its been going on for a while, with no mention of a meeting. Do you think he’s serious? He did however make a joke of me coming to his house, and said he was only joking. Should I say something. I’m a nice person and I don’t like to be mean :-( Also I have not had much email, I don’t know if its my age, the text in my profile, or my type. I read the blogs new newbies. I thought i was a very attractive girl until I came here..LOL Profile 903374

  32. Loli says:

    Hey Someone should do an entry about getting around having to report your sugar to the IRS… In a year most sb’s are given more than 13,000 from a sd. I was wondering if you have to report the “gift” if you use paypal or is it only the banks that force you to report? Is there some way to get around this?

  33. Teeny says:

    @flyr you are right, escorts and SBs are very different. I guess the point I was trying to make is if I wanted to be paid just for sex or be treated like a personal call girl then I would be an escort. I also think that guys lookin to just pay for sex should go hire escorts instead of claiming to be a SD. With any relationship sex does play a part, but its not everything.

  34. PhoneGuy says:

    >That leads to the SD/SB prenup . A good SB deserves assurance that if for financial or other >reasons you desire to exit that you will provide either notice or sugarmony for N months. . On >the other side she is free to call it off should she meet Mr Wonderful.
    @flyr, listen, I’m a nice guy and probably a bit of a white knight and a pushover and if someone I had a relationship with, who I cared about needed my help I doubt I could say no. But I must have missed the part in the Sugar FAQ where is said I have to provide sugarmony for N months if I leave but she can call it quits anytime for any reason. This sounds a bit lobsided..and well, crazy. Shouldn’t she have to provide X number of dates after the breakup? 😛

  35. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    @flyr its scary how much info you can get just from an email address. A guy gave me a fake name and his email address, just on the email address alone I was able to get where he worked, how much he made, his real name, family photos he’s posted (including the wife he lied about NOT having), home address, and a used car he was selling. Creepy huh? If you have $30 you can get a credit profile too! Sheer insanity! I use one email address, google number, and cell just for SD contact.

  36. NYG says:

    I thought it was Charly Sheen’ citation. ?

  37. flyr says:

    zipping up my nomex, fireproof suit and disappearing into the darkness.

  38. flyr says:

    I could not help but reply to the following

    “the girls I know who escort make 2-400 per hr. So for a 2 or 3 hour visit they are making 400-1200 dollars. Some of the so called “daddies” I have run into want to pay 100-200 for 2-4 hrs of just sex. No dinner, no lets get to know each other, just heres a couple hundred bucks to let me f*** you. Talk about being made to feel cheap. I decline dates with these kinds of guys.”

    I think Clinton advisor Dick Morris gave the classic definition of the difference between hooker and SB, Asked by someone if he were paying the girl $400 to come over and have sex he commented, “no I am paying her $400 to go home when we are finished” . If all your SD wants is sex on his schedule and his terms but with a bundle of $ as you depart, then you are being asked to be a hooker regardless of the site.

    If all your so called SB SD relationship is sex for his benefit and goodbye then it’s not what I think of an SB relationship. The blunt difference is that in one relationship you are a tool for sexual gratification and the other you are in a relationship where there is a genuine appreciation for you and sadness in parting and anticipation of the next opportunity to meet. The meetings may be private or public but the feeling is the same.

    I think if you start comparing your benefits as a true SB with those of escorts you are comparing apples and oranges. True that somewhere up the scale the two may merge, the premium escort and the very upscale SB.

    However after too much tequila and Hendrix , I think the lifeblood of the SB/SD movement is good people who find this is a more honest relationship and not surprisingly more in tune with the times. In the interest of providing some balance these are generally well educated women, some with children and others in undergrad or graduate school whose financial expectations are modest but who also expect to be treated as partners with meetings arranged to meet both of their schedules. They are not on call as they have a life.

    As one former SB noted, she expected to be treated as well as if not better than a girlfriend in every aspect of the relationship. They guy next door wanted to take her skiing with the implicit understanding that she would have sex with him as needed. With her SD she had great sex and the capacity to invite her girlfriends for a weekend at the river, pay her rent, put her daughter in pre-school or fix the car.

    Several of our resident SB have commented on opportunities created by their SD. Guys like to fix things and a true SD wants you to succeed. A John wants you to stay where you are, on your knees.

    That leads to the SD/SB prenup . A good SB deserves assurance that if for financial or other reasons you desire to exit that you will provide either notice or sugarmony for N months. . On the other side she is free to call it off should she meet Mr Wonderful.

    Why is nobody responding to my profile
    I think the mark of a good profile is consistency – what you want, who you are, what you want from the relationship. I would add, study the search criteria because most will find you from the search. Not all will use the radius feature so if you are in a little place like Venice CA you are probably best off listing Santa Monica or Los Angeles.

    Photos – the guy is cropped out of the photo but his arm is there over you shoulder, worse yet you did the photo in the bathroom mirror, with all sorts of junk laying round. Do yourself justice with photos that show you at your best and who you want to be. If you are brainy sell brains and curves

    Finally, for the SB , align your expectations with your ambitions and your assets. For us SD it’s the same .

  39. AnnaMW says:

    @msears – That guy sounds like a psycho and probably doesn’t treat women very well. Your questions were completely normal and you did NOTHING wrong…

    I also don’t date married guys and specified that in my profile when I had one. I don’t judge anyone for their private decisions regarding relationship, I just know I wouldn’t feel good about myself if I did that. Dabbling in this lifestyle doesn’t mean that I lack values or self respect. I just wish that the rest of the world understood so that I had a different outlet than to anonymously express myself to strangers on an internet blog. :p

    @LASB – You don’t sound like a “sucker” at all, just a romantic at heart. :-) I was in a similar situation once, where I decided to scrap the arrangement concept in favor of getting to the guy normally. I can’t say that things worked out, and the fact that we met here was always looming in the back of my mind (and probably is), but I can totally relate to you in the respect that this isn’t all about money.

    Your comment about competing or doing “whatever it takes” to attract a person was interesting, because I kind of disagree. I don’t lie and my personality shines through in all of my interactions, but I try to put my best foot forward in every circumstance. I want everyone to like me, men and women, romantic or platonic. I do my best to win over everyone I meet, but not in a desperate, self destructive way.

    And about the form letters, eff that! Those letters are worse than winks. I would typically ignore them. It’s super impersonal. There has to be an element of working to appeal to one another in order for the whole thing to be sexy….. There is a guy in my area who sent me at least 10 emails in a 6 month period, but they were all form letters or one line emails. In the time it took for him to send ten cumulative emails over that period of time, he could have written one that said “Hi. How are you. I find you very attractive and would love to get to know you better” along with a few cursory details about himself. I probably would have gone to dinner with him.

  40. flyr says:

    Victoria No Secret “but I do suggest using every resource available to make sure your SD is legit.”

    Very good advice. It’s amazing how fast you can drill down through the internet armed with only a cell number and a first name and a general location.

    For SB some essential precautions. Things like this blog are searchable .

    An obscure pilot sign up list for a flying event has my cell phone and name and thus I am searchable by cell and first name. A cellphone just for introductions is a good idea.

  41. NYG says:


    Your photographs are very beautiful!
    thank you for sharing your SD story.

  42. Emily says:

    I have a question for the married men on this site. Do you think cheating on your wife leaves you vulnerable to falling in love with another woman? My last partner, who i lived with for four years blamed me for the break up of our relationship. He said I didn’t associate with his friends and family enough. My argument was that he left himself open to losing his feelings for me and falling for another woman by cheating on me the entire time we were together.
    Little does his new woman know that he was involved with a transgendered woman, and occasionally sleeps with other men. The jokes on that bitch.

  43. nikki says:

    @sdguru- i actually havent met any pot SD’s on mm. Just a lot of GWC- guys with cameras, that basically want to take pictures,but no more. I get alot of escort services that contact me,and im just not with that. I know there is another pot SD out there for me. I want the chemistry and i want to look forward to getting pampered. I love the whole SD/SB arrangement. Im very impatient to have it again soon

  44. Va Gentleman says:


    ” again you r writing “sex” thing. R u a sexual maniac ”

    I write the “sex” thing just like SBs here write the “Sugar” thing . We all know why we are on this site , once we get those two issues out of the way then we can concentrate on really having fun with each other . You know how I moon about loving my Dear SB and how much I want more than just a NSA relationship , so I am definitely more about relationship


    ” sometimes i get email from guys that looks like they just copy/paste it and send to every girl they think is attractive ”

    Some guys do that because we get so few responses. The attractive girls/profiles probably get hundreds of responses from guys so the return rate is low . Saturation bombing every profile that is not an obvious fake is the only way. Also ,I do think some other sites send spam messages to hype the action up .


    You sound like a great person LA This is not an easy business is it ? Congrats on having an excellent Pot so far .

  45. Tina says:

    @Teeny: if it felt weird to you, you have every right to not respond. We all have different standards, and that is what makes the sugar bowl, hell life, interesting.

    @NWSugarbaby: I know! Lucky Europeans! :)

  46. Teeny says:

    Maybe I should clarify. Something general like I really liked your profile or you caught my eye and then what they are looking for just kind of basic is fine. Ill respond. Im talking about emails that read me like a craigslist ad. For example, I got an email on a different site (I am yet to get anything like this here on SA) that read like a craigslist ad. He had his email address in there saying email me wit a full length pic from the last month (not really a bigg but stll kind odd to me) and then notes please no transgenders. So I am 100% natural born female, he states in his profile no tg which is fine i dont care, but it really seems like something you would see on cragslist. Idk i guess to me it just seems weird to me

  47. Christiana says:

    VictoriaNoSecret, thanks for your insight I appreciate it, there is a time difference here hence my reply at this time, Thursday Morning here.

  48. Nwsugarbaby says:


    Thank you for the advise. Hopefully I’ll get to apply it.


    London is not only hosting the Olympics this summer, but they are also having a party in May. They definitely are lucky.

  49. Tina says:

    Well you lucky little London peeps having a party in May!

  50. Tina says:

    @Dorky: man, you sound like you got the cranky pants today – need some baked goods? I’m going to the farmer’s market on Saturday, and will be baking this weekend! YEAH! I’m so excited……yes, I’m a nerd. I get excited over baking. And then giving it away.

  51. Tina says:

    @LASB: I’m leaning towards the others when I say that I wouldn’t mind the form letter for the FIRST correspondence. Being busy myself, as a SB, I can see where you want to throw out the net and see what you catch with little effort. After all, many SBs/SDs still show active profiles, but are currently in an arrangement and not looking, they just haven’t hidden their profile. There are those that I have found that seem attractive in their pictures and profile, but when the correspondence starts, they’re not anything like what they have put themselves out to be.

    So, I don’t think that an initial “form” letter is quite so bad, as long as it is the only time it happens. Once the one-on-one starts, then personalized, intimate information should be shared.

  52. LASB says:

    Phone Guy – That is pretty much my thinking! After I get a form letter I write something brief b/c in the back of my head I’m thinking, “he just blanketed the whole site with a form letter and now weeding through a million replies. I’ll keep mine brief.” haha!

  53. PhoneGuy says:

    >If I like the profile as well, I will write something brief like “I’m glad I caught your attention,” and >maybe one or two other pleasantries. If I hear back then fine and if I don’t then fine.
    I think that’s all they are looking for. If I send out 50 form letters and get 10 responses I can spend my time writing more in depth to those 10 pot SB and try to find if those who are interested in me are a good match.

  54. DorkyGuy says:

    SDs and SBs should be matched up by lottery. One day you will get an email: “Congratulations, your new SD is xxxxx. Brandon has spoken… So it shall be written, so it shall be done.” Given that most SD/SB relationships don’t last the way it works now, I wouldn’t be surprised if it actually resulted in a better success rate!

  55. PhoneGuy says:

    No I would not report that as spam. It’s better than a wink. They are showing interest in you and telling you a little about themselves. Is it a form letter…sure.
    On the other hand I’ve spent a fair amount of time sending nice, customized email to girls I’m interested in telling them what I think we have in common only to get no response…or even worse they don’t even open it. Those are times I wish I went with a form letter. It would be nice to be able to quickly identify people I think have potential who also think I have potential so we can start talking and see if there is chemistry between us.

    Busy people who are serious about an arrangement may want to quickly find someone and not waste a bunch of time on those who are not interested.

  56. LASB says:

    Teeny – It’s not technically spam. It’s just laziness. I view it as a half step higher than a wink. When I get those, provided that the form letter is polite, I will then look at the profile that it came from. If I like the profile as well, I will write something brief like “I’m glad I caught your attention,” and maybe one or two other pleasantries. If I hear back then fine and if I don’t then fine.

  57. LASB says:

    VA Gent – If my expectations to be treated with respect and honesty are enough to give me the “entitled” title, I’ll take it. Those who have been on the blog for a while know me as the “sucker” who met a man from here that I found so captivating, that I threw sugar/allowances/money completely out the window and proceeded with a long-term IRL relationship. So sure, all I care about is money. Uh-huh. I will also add that I don’t negotiate and I don’t make a bunch of demands. It’s just not in my personality, especially the part where I have to try and seduce someone. I show up as myself (not some seductive caricature of myself) and see what transpires. My two requirements are that I am not asked by the SD to put myself at tremendous financial or physical risk and that he shows up when he says he is going to. Sorry, but I absolutely hate tardiness, flakiness, and the likes!!! If the pot SD wishes to present me with a gift, pay my parking, reimburse for local transportation costs etc, that is entirely up to him as I will never ask. I prefer to kick back and let creme rise to the top. This is the method that works for me. I can’t speak for others.

    “If a pot SB likes what she sees with a SD ,then she should do what it takes to make him like her so he will pick her from a list of dozens of other candidates.”

    I have to strongly disagree with this one. I don’t necessarily agree with the “do what it takes” part, as it can be defined so many ways. If the pot SD starts presenting a bunch of hoops for the SB to jump through, the SB needs to decide if it’s worth it, and if she can look herself in the mirror (thanks Dorky!) if she starts compromising her values system. Sure, maybe he’s sexy and seemingly rich and generous, but power never comes from desperation and I don’t think a long lasting sugar relationship will either, particularly one in which you are pushed to do things that you are not comfortable with.

    My current pot is the sweetest man ever! We had the most amazing first date! In his email correspondence he specifically said that he is looking for someone who does NOT want to jump into bed with him right away. Sounded easy enough until I met him in person! 😉

  58. Teeny says:

    I havent seen it on here yet but on another SD site I get what seems to be like a scripted email. For my job I have a standard email that gets sent to people with the basic info they need and then if they have more questions they can ask them.. So sometimes i get email from guys that looks like they just copy/paste it and send to every girl they think is attractive. I dont typically respond to these, If you cant take the time to read my profile or send me an email with a personal touch why should I? Im curious tho how often this happens? Would you report them as spam?

  59. NYG says:

    I think we are all anonymous here. So any one should be straight forward and honest.

    Tell the truth everyone, write your honest thing, (we are not going to tell it to ur parents, classmate). :)

    VA G. again you r writing “sex” thing. R u a sexual maniac? the site called “arrangement ” not “sex, be sexy, do sexy”.

  60. Va Gentleman says:


    Welcome back to the Sugar Bowl . It sounded like you had a perfect Sugar relationship that ended badly . Since you know now what the good and bad points of a SD/SB world you can define what you need with a new one . It will take time to find the right guy –be patient .


    ” unmarried SD is probably going to be more interested in YOU, perhaps more honest ” What ?
    Really ?

  61. Tina says:

    @SG2: It’s your straightforwardness on here that we all adore, don’t change a thing just because people may not like your opinion. :)

  62. Va Gentleman says:

    @ Nwsugarbaby

    ” I’m curious from a guys perspective on the first met show it slightly or hold it all back ? ”

    Remember Sugar , you are trying to impress this guy . You should look sexy but not too—. Leave a hint of something to come but show enough to let him know what you have and that you are not a prude . After all , the pot Daddy is there for sex–er –I mean a relationship.

  63. msears says:

    Thanks for replying everyone….that does make me feel better…I have no problems with married SD, but it’s just not what I’m looking for (I’ll prob have to update my profile indicating that but was worried when i first started out about sounding picky or pretentious)

  64. VanillaSugar says:

    @PhoneGuy-“Brandon, Feature request: I wish that when I blocked someone their profile never showed in any of my searches anymore.

    Anyone else?”

    And vice versa..

    @SouthernGent2-Yep 😉

  65. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    @msears you weren’t wrong for asking. Ask as many questions as you feel is necessary to determine if the guy is what you want and you are compatable. Maybe he felt you smelled his bs through your pc and felt he’d make you feel bad about asking to make himself feel better. You saved your time from being wasted.

  66. VanillaSugar says:

    @msears I have yet to meet a SD too..I don’t think you were wrong at all for asking him those questions, they’re pretty standard to me. The guy seems like an a**hole.

  67. SouthernGent2 says:

    @VanillaSugar – I’m glad at least one person understands what I am saying, because I’m not going to say any more 😉

  68. PhoneGuy says:

    @msears, I think most people in this world jump to conclusions too quickly, think they know what’s going on too quickly and react too quickly. There is pretty much no question you could email me that would get you blocked. Some may turn me off and make me think you’re not for me, but I’m not going to flip out, send a rant to you and block you. Ask whatever questions are important to you.

  69. PhoneGuy says:

    Brandon, Feature request: I wish that when I blocked someone their profile never showed in any of my searches anymore.

    Anyone else?

  70. VanillaSugar says:

    Hello everyone! Happy Hump Day!!!!!!!!

    SouthernGent2-“After catching up on reading the blog, I have come to the conclusion there is either one very dumb man in this world, or someone is telling a good fish story.”

    Lmao! I get what you’re saying..in this world, you can be anyone you wanna be hahahaha

    @BeautifullySweetSB- “Hello Sugars! Quick question. What does it mean if someone favorites you but they have a blue profile? Does that mean that they can’t message me since I have a premium profile?”

    Same thing happened to me. I messaged him, and he didn’t reply..I didn’t understand why someone would favor me, but don’t respond to my email lol..But he wasn’t a premium member, so he couldn’t…So, I don’t really look at the blue profiles, only orange.

  71. msears says:

    I had an intro msg from a pot SD and when I replied, I asked him if he was in fact single (due to his profile status) and asked what he did for a living (he had entertainment listed as an occupation)…I was curious! He replied by saying ‘I had no tact and should have not asked if he was single’ and left me quite the msg saying ‘I blew my chance with a great guy’ and ‘I would have shown you my business if you hadn’t been so forward’ Then he blocked me before I could reply again! Was I wrong in asking if he was single? I don’t believe so, but I am new to this (I have yet to meet a SD for even a first date); I’m just not into married guys! I may be seeking an arrangement, but I have my standards to!

  72. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    @SouthernGent2 I understand your skepticism, I’m the same way. I assume every SD is full of it until the offer materializes. I’m not asking for a bank statement but I do suggest using every resource available to make sure your SD is legit.

  73. NYG says:

    shoulda coulda woulda…

    but whatever you say SG2, :) yes, I am that easy.

    (I just wonder how many people were sceptical then I told my story).

    Everyone have a nice day, I am off to the gym.

  74. SouthernGent2 says:

    @NYG – I probably should not have posted, but I get irritated when I read certain things that make me very skeptical. Let’s leave it at that for now.

  75. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    @SouthernGent2 who is the dumb man? Or who could be telling a good fish story? Do share. :)

  76. NC Gent says:

    Mandi — it could be a number of things… he is a scammer trying to gain your confidence… maybe he travels to your country… maybe he thinks you will come travel to him… he might just be looking for an attractive “pen pal.” You never know until you ask him :)

  77. NYG says:

    who is this dumb man?
    VA thinks some guys have more money than sense. ?

    (and what I think can not post coz of blog etiquette :)

  78. SouthernGent2 says:

    After catching up on reading the blog, I have come to the conclusion there is either one very dumb man in this world, or someone is telling a good fish story.

  79. Mandi says:

    A SD on this site who lives in a different country than I do sent me his personal email after we chatted casually on here. Obviously we cannot see each other…is he just being friendly?

  80. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    @Christiana when discussing the amount ask him does want to be responsible for your total support (tell him your total monthly expenses) or is he looking to supplement your income to enhance your lifestyle. From the beginning most SD will start with an allowance less than total support and later totally support you if they are financially able to and the SB is what he wants. As far as your time is concerned, your time is just as important as his time. Express you have a life outside the arrangement and would like to have an arrangement that works for you both. Be specific when asking about the frequency of the meetings. An arrangement is a pleasurable business deal. Treat it like a job interview. Understand the “job” and inquire about job duties and tasks. Make sure you are qualified and comfortable. Negotiate a salary that works best for you and the hiring authority. If both parties agree on the terms, you are hired! Don’t take a job that you are satisfied with. It’s easier for me to go into negotiations with that mindset. Always be polite and clever when doing the negotiation tango. Remember the allowance he provides is like his petty cash account. Money he can spend freely that isnt going to leave him in the poor house when spent. As long as you are tactful and polite, you can usually get what you need and want. That every beck and call thing… lol. You are a SB not a slave or maid. lol Let him know you will make yourself available to him when both schedules allow. That goes back to the I have a life discussion. I hope by blabbering on and on helps.

  81. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    @Nwsugarbaby thanks :)

    @NYG Yes, I met him on another SD site. I decided to make my picture private after having being contacted by so many p4p proposals that would make the most experienced escorts blush. I changed my wording on my profile to specifically explain what a REAL SD is and does and I wasn’t settling anything other than that. I met him on sugardaddyforme. I joined in January. I like this site better because of the helpful tips and blog. The other site is targeted for more experienced SB in my opinion. There aren’t any helpful hints and god forbid you email them with a question… The replies aren’t so nice.

  82. CloseToIT says:

    @ Grassy and Tina
    go try the tables girls!!! machines are boring compare to tables! and have a SD pay for your gambling!!! ahaahahah (evil laugh)
    and Vegas is good to find sexy SD’s

  83. Christiana says:

    Nice for you CloseToIt

  84. Christiana says:

    I would like to know how you work out an amount to ask for or discuss. Does the higher amount mean you are at the Sugar Daddy’s beck and call and do anything he wants when he wants it. I dont have a partner or a b/f (by choice) so this may suit me eventhough I am not experienced really would that turn a guy off do you think. I would not disrupt my life for $2,000 a month for instance. How realistic is that?

  85. CloseToIT says:

    Hi!! I know I don’t post often everybody, but still read you from times to times. I just want to share my joy and happiness that I finaly found a perfect Sugar daddy 😀
    He is suppppppppeeeeerrrrrrr rich, generous and totaly into me 😀
    I was looking for a serious one since almost 10 months. And I have put a lot of time and energy in my search and I finally found him. So don’t give up girls, just continu to search, to respect yourself and stick to what you know is best for you.

  86. Tina says:

    Good evening dear Guru! Long time no chat! The baked goods will start after this weekend…..just FYI 😉

  87. Nwsugarbaby says:


    Good night. Didn’t mean to hurt you, but had to keep your ego in check. I fear if I didnt stop you now you could have went for total world domination. Next thing you know instead of KONY 2012 it would be Stop DorkyGuy 2013. Haha

    • SD Guru says:


      Welcome to the blog and thanks for sharing your story! The lessons you’ve learned have been well documented in the blog in the past. Your former SD was emotionally attached and became controlling, which is a big red flag as one of my golden rules is “don’t get emotionally attached, especially for a married man.” As for don’t become financially dependent on your SD and having a life of your own, take a look at “How to be a Successful SB” in the Tips section on the right hand side of the blog. I hope you’ll have a better experience this time around!

      By the way, I noticed that you linked your modelmayhem profile to your post. Have you come across pot SD’s on MM??

      I’m probably going to get a lot of flack for this but an unmarried SD is probably going to be more interested in YOU, perhaps more honest

      This is the second time you’ve made a similar statement. Married vs single SD’s has pros and cons just like any other aspects in the sugar world and this topic has been discussed many times in the blog. I also wrote about it in my blog, please take a look and let me know what you think.

  88. Tina says:

    @Dorky: sweet nerdy dreams to you, hopefully you’re not chased by erroneous semi-colons and open code lines………….

  89. DorkyGuy says:

    @flyr~ love your insight! So glad you started posting

    @Tina & Nwsugarbaby~ lol, ouch… guess that is my cue to call it a night 😛 Goodnight blog goddesses 😉

  90. Tina says:

    And SLAAAAAAAAAAAAM NWSugarBaby just but the kabash on Dorky’s dream of blog god domination………………..

  91. Nwsugarbaby says:

    Glad to hear that you got the experience too growing up. It really doesn’t matter how much country exposure a person has had its still a choice. Some people who have been raised on farms are less country than many of the bloggers. I just love how you and Grasshopper enjoy that type of thing as well. I don’t live in the country right now either, but I can’t see myself living in the city after college. I love the excitement of the city, but its nice to have a peaceful isolated place to fall asleep at.


    I haven’t called you a God so you aren’t a God to me. Besides we already have blog gods Midwest and Guru. They do an amazing job.

  92. flyr says:

    “”Maybe its just where I live but its getting pretty annoying that all anyone wants is an escort without the taboo of hiring one. Im almost ready to say there are no real gentlemen in the world.””

    It might be the area or might be something in your profile that’s causing that reaction. I would look at other sb profiles. How you present yourself in both the profile and responses is important.

    I’m probably going to get a lot of flack for this but an unmarried SD is probably going to be more interested in YOU, perhaps more honest (I doubt that many men call wifey and say Honey, I’ll be a little late tonight as I need a little time with my SB..) .

    Part of the SB relationship with an unattached SD is the ability to share the good and the bad in real time.

    When I look at a SB profile I am very sensitive to words . Men usually means she’s available by the hour. Man is more selective and more likely looking for something long term. I am trying to read between the lines if she is just about money or if mentoring and having a friend in her corner matters. Does how she is treated matter or is it all about money.

    For the SB it’s a matter of tiptoeing between the freeloaders and those who want a pet to put on a leash so that others will admire them.

  93. Tina says:

    “Of COURSE you’re the best I’ve ever had!”

    “Oh, yes, you’re the first that ever…..*fill in the blank*”

    “I don’t think of that sexy underwear model while we’re making love, I only think of you”

    Shall I continue? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Hmmm, apparently being a little ill makes me a little evil when I get better……)

  94. Tina says:

    @Dorky: I KNOW! Ooooh, try insulting my hair! teehee

    And no, it doesn’t make you a God. Women lie to make you feel better. Let’s start a conversation about what women say during sex, shall we? Hmmmmmm? 😉

  95. DorkyGuy says:

    @uniqueSB~ I agree with Grasshopper… and welcome to the blog!

    @Nikki~ Terrific portfolio! You have obviously put a lot of work into it. I am sorry your arrangement turned out that way, but it sounds like you learned a lot from the experience.

    @Tina~ Their best strip ever, and probably my favorite: xkcd.com/1027/

    @NYG~ If girls keep calling me God, does that make me God? I dunno… maybe!

  96. Tina says:

    @Dorky: I figured our sick senses of humor would agree on that one……..so bad, so why am I still laughing about it?

  97. Christiana says:

    Nikki I guess we live and learn and I am here learning which way I should go too whilst you have learned more through your experiences it seems. I have not commenced a SD/SB relationship as of yet but I have had a few offers from very acceptable guys (thats what it appears to be anyway) should I be concerned if they are in a relationship I ask myself and I figure no they are grown men and in a way it would be easier for me if they maintained their relationship and see me 1-2 a week. But Im still learning from what you and others say of their experiences.

  98. DorkyGuy says:

    LOL! Beautiful

  99. Tina says:

    @Dorky: speaking of wrong, xkcd.com/1026/

  100. Tina says:

    @Dorky: that’s just wrong on SO many levels…..but really dang cute! You bastard! 😉

  101. DorkyGuy says:

    Since everybody is posting pics today… here is my contribution. It is a blonde chick with a cute… well you get the idea 😛

  102. nikki says:


  103. nikki says:

    Well firstly I’d like to say hello this is my first time posting. I’ve been empowered being a Sb,in so many ways because of my own mistakes in the “arrangement “. What started off as a lovely arrangement turned into me being “the homewrecker” in his marriage. I told him to go to counseling and work it out because although the arrangement was great, I had my own life outside of it.Needless to say this SD divorced and became enmeshed in my life and though I did have some kind of feelings for him,it wasn’t equal with his. Well about 2 years goes by,the arrangement was I didn’t work and he basically financed my life.I got used to it quickly and soon stopped depending on any other income.I completely depended on him,and my problem was that he knew it and basically treated me like the proverbial rabbit with carrot hanging in front of her face. Well plans were supposed to move to Florida together, I had issues I had to deal with first. So he moved,stayed paying but gifts and payments were dwindling and now that I see hindsight is 20/20 and this guy was dropping hints but I didn’t want to see it. Not only did he find another girl,but he split with me on one of my visits, didn’t give me ANYTHING to start over with,he changed his # and email and I haven’t heard from him in about a year. Needless to say the sd/sb arrangements aren’t exactly the same as they were when I met him. And I started off on here greener and more naive than before. But as far as that arrangement, I learned so much. My grandmother used to say ‘don’t count your chickens before they hatch ‘, well Ive learned that most SD’S are great,you’ve gotta be patient and don’t completely put your ALL into someone, even If he did put a lot of time and money into it. Keep your identity. It started he obsessed over me. Then after he divorced he put guilt trips on me. So I kinda got beat at my own game. It’s been a year and I’m still looking for that perfect arrangement but at this point I’d take an imperfect one. I got to see places I never could before.I experienced shopping and a lifestyle that I miss so much and hope to experience again. I know I probably sound like I’m rambling and I am but this story felt so good to get off my( perfectly implanted)chest.

  104. NYG says:

    What r u talking about?
    Grasshopper let us better talk about cleavage thing.:)

    I would post mine in here

    But i am afraid

    NC Gent
    would object picture posting in here? :)

  105. Tina says:

    @Dorky: if that’s the case, then ONE of us is going to have to move, ’cause I think I smell ya all the way down here! Either that, or you MUST ensure that the wind currents have you downwind from me at ALL times…….

    *Note: I’m still recovering for my allergies, so I’m still just a bit groggy, so the snarky comebacks may be a bit slow. Disclaimer over.*

  106. Tina says:

    @Dorky: eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

  107. DorkyGuy says:

    @Tina~ lol, I don’t walk on BS, i swim in it 😛

  108. Tina says:

    @Grassy: definitely a good goal that I’m going to plan for! (depending on the roommate situation, which if it goes as bad as it’s heading things might get really tight for a little while, but we’ll just see!)


  109. Grasshopper says:

    @Tina – ah…yes…just imagine the possibilities…;)

  110. Tina says:

    @NWSugarbaby: I grew up *sorta* country – my home was in the suburbs, but my grandparents lived in the country and I was raised that way. I love simple, I don’t need much (I drive a VERY old car, but if it still runs, I’ll still drive it!), and I like being semi-isolated. Hard work is something I’ve always looked for, and am proud of what I achieve when I have to work hard to get it.

    So, even though I don’t live in the country right now, I’m working on getting there :)

  111. Tina says:

    @Grassy: it’s a little while off, but my little mind is reeling with the possibilities! >:)

    @NYG: I think Dorky walks on BS, not water! teehee (sorry Captain Flypaper, I couldn’t resist the barb!!!!!!)

  112. NYG says:

    you have to wait ~ 10 hours for ur pics to be active.

    Victoria .
    So you scored this SD at a different site not at SA.?

    Who is our B God? I suspect Dorky walks on water. ?

  113. Nwsugarbaby says:


    I’ve never thought of it that way. ***writes down note that if they can’t look at my face while I’m showing cleavage they lack multitasking capabilities***
    The guy would most likely be a bore in bed if they couldnt do more than one task at once. That’s what keeps the excitement is up is that there is so much happening.

  114. Grasshopper says:

    @uniqueSB – the picture you have linked to your name is working. You’re very beautiful :)

    @Tina, Nwsugarbaby – would love to go to either one, actually. My Birthday is in late Oct., and so maybe going in Oct. might be extra fun because of that. Who knows…Maybe I’ll go to both!

  115. uniqueSB says:

    for some reason my pictures are not working * sad face*

  116. uniqueSB says:


    i love this blog, great for information, just signed up today, hope i get messages

  117. uniqueSB says:

    i love this blog, great for information, just signed up today, hope i get messages 😉

  118. DorkyGuy says:

    @Nwsugarbaby~ I have never had a problem maintaining eye contact and enjoying the cleavage in my periphery. If a guy can’t do that little bit of multitasking, how is he going to perform beneath the sheets?

  119. Nwsugarbaby says:


    You bring up a good point about you have to be happy with who you look at in the mirror and sleep better at night because of your good behavior. A lot of younger guys fall into the bad apple category, because girls have let them get away with it. Personally, I like a nice guy with a kick of personality and confidence.
    @Tina and Grasshopper
    It depends what you want to see in vegas when you want to go. The PBR (professional bull riding) is all bulls and the NFR ( national finals rodeo) brings out more of a traditional rodeo with the best of the best. The NFR also has cowboy christmas and other things going on. Maybe you can pick which dates work best for you both. I would be thrilled to go to either, but my first choice is NFR. NFR this year is Dec 6th- 15th, 2012.
    I was raised country and it will always be in my heart. It taught me so many good values that I use everyday in my life. The key things to be happy with the country lifestyle you must look for happiness in the little things and to never be afraid of hard work. Im drooling that summer is almost here which is the best time for rodeos 😉 along with going to the lake.
    I’ve been blessed/ cursed with cleavage. I’m curious from a guys perspective on the first met show it slightly or hold it all back for later. Usually I hold back so they will look me in the face lol.
    I guess now we know your big exciting Secret Victoria. Congrats :). He sounds like a great SD for you.

    EVERYONE is anyone else filling out their March Madness brackets. Also Syracuse lost their 7ft center to ineligibility.

  120. DorkyGuy says:

    @Teeny~ lol, women choose the assholes… consciously. I have seen it in both of my daughters… They would completely ignore the good men in their life, and always choose the bad boy who would end up treating them badly. I could never get either of them to see how self-destructive that preference was. These days, girls actually express a preference for married men. It blows my mind. I think I was born into the wrong generation… maybe I was supposed to live about 100 years ago!

  121. Teeny says:

    @DorkyGuy I think there is truth to that. We all say we want a nice guy but end up with the aholes.

  122. Christiana says:

    @Teeny I am observing all the to and fros myself.

  123. DorkyGuy says:

    @Teeny, totally agree. There are real gentlemen in the world, but it sure seems that they are becoming harder to find.

    At the risk of ranting, men get rewarded for being jackasses, because jackasses get laid more often. There isn’t a lot of reward for being a gentleman… you get laid less, and work harder at it. The one nice thing is that you can look at yourself in the mirror and sleep better at night.

  124. Tina says:

    October 24 – 28 PBR finals in Vegas……mmmmmmmmmmmmmm…………

  125. Teeny says:

    I think its kinda awesome how many different things get talked about on a one blog subject. I was reading thru the comments and noticed the p2p and pay to meet thing keeps coming up. Ive run into this several times. I dont like the pay per visit arrangement because t makes me feel like a hooker. I have friends who are escorts and I will be the first to say, they make a lot more money then anyone has offered me for a pay per visit arrangement. It might sound messed up but seriously, the girls I know who escort make 2-400 per hr. So for a 2 or 3 hour visit they are making 400-1200 dollars. Some of the so called “daddies” I have run into want to pay 100-200 for 2-4 hrs of just sex. No dinner, no lets get to know each other, just heres a couple hundred bucks to let me f*** you. Talk about being made to feel cheap. I decline dates with these kinds of guys. If I wanted to be paid for just sex, I would be an escort and make way more then any SD would be willing to offer. What happened to the guys who say ” lets go out to dinner/lunch/coffee and just see how things go”? Thats what I would like, sure we can discuss an arrangement and the specifics beforehand but lets just meet for something casual and see if there is actually chemistry and go from there. If that meeting goes well and both parties decide yes lets do this (as in carry out an arrangement that you have already discussed) then awesome, do whatever you feel should happen next. Maybe its just where I live but its getting pretty annoying that all anyone wants is an escort without the taboo of hiring one. Im almost ready to say there are no real gentlemen in the world.

  126. Tina says:

    @ VA Gent “I like to stay abreast of things” really? That’s all you got? No comments about twins? Man, there are at least 10 other jokes I could say……

    @Grassy: Hmmmm, you’re starting to intrigue me with the possibilities of Vegas…..I might have to look at the budget and allocated vacation time to see what would be possible…..AND the PBR schedule, of course! 😉

  127. Va Gentleman says:


    ” Cleavage is all it takes VA Gent? ”

    Yes Tina , I like to stay abreast of things

  128. Grasshopper says:

    @Tina – Yes..can tell you’re feeling better! 😀

  129. Grasshopper says:

    @Va Gentleman – ;P

    @Tina – YES!!! I was thinking the same thing! Let’s make it happen, girl!
    Let’s put it this way – Vegas will be left blushing like a 10yr old school girl by the time we leave 😉

  130. Tina says:

    Cleavage is all it takes VA Gent? You’re easier than what you said you were 😉 (sarcastic remark meant only for humor and not to offend)

  131. Va Gentleman says:


    ” may I ask if you walk on water too… ”

    Oh Pshaw ! Only on alternate Thursdays which is Guru’s day off

  132. Tina says:

    @Grassy: You and I SO need to do a girls Vegas trip (maybe around PBR finals time) hmmmmm…..I don’t think Vegas would know WHAT hit it! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (I’m feeling MUCH better, can you tell?)

  133. Va Gentleman says:

    @ Grassie

    ” ::overwhelms Va Gentleman with love, kindness…and cleavage::: *purrs* ”

    Now that’s what Im talkin’ about Graasie !

  134. Grasshopper says:

    @NYG – haha…no DOUBLE Ds here..but my experience dictates that a C gets the job done, just as well 😉

    @VictoriaNoSecret – YW :)

  135. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    Thanks ladies Grasshopper and Charis 😉

  136. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    @NYG you guess correctly. lol It was written out of his business account and I went to the teller and cashed it and then made a deposit into my business account. I met him roughly 3 weeks ago. We emailed,texted,and talked daily. I wasn’t in a rush to meet him because I needed to know he was what I wanted and I was the same for him.

    @Christiana I own panties. lol. I wore a fitted dress and I didn’t want any panty lines or the god awful risk of ride ups or thong burn if he made me squirm in person. lol

  137. NYG says:

    Grasshopper .

    is your cleavage overwhelming enough ?

    is not VA a fav of small “cleavage” :)

    VA gent.

    did I understand you correctly.
    To make it easier for GIRLS, so they do not feel excortish (by P4P for the first a few meetings) they should do test drive (of course for free … since it is the only way not to feel excortish) till the full trust established and a SD can start monthly bank transfers.
    I am 100% with you on that.

    you are a genius … You found a perfect solution for girls who do not want to feel excortish! Your discovery will save so many girls’ souls (they will never feel like a prostitute doing it for money) ; no VA you are not a genius… may I ask if you walk on water too…

  138. Grasshopper says:

    @VictoriaNoSecret – Thanks for sharing! Congrats on your new arrangement/relationship! He sounds like a good guy :)

  139. Charis says:

    @VictoriaNoSecret – I’m glad everything worked well, sounds like you took the Red Hot and scored high. Congratulations!

  140. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    @grasshopper we agreed on a total of $5000 a month. $2500 in cash/check in one payment for the month. $1000 is for hotels, and if I decide in the future we can meet at my home that then goes in my allowance. $1500 is for shopping. Dinners and extra gifts aren’t included in my allowance. We are meeting 3-4 times a month, I still receive an allowance if he doesn’t see me. I’m talking freely because he’s not on this site. 😉

  141. Christiana says:

    VictoriaNoSecret that’s great that now you can afford to buy some panties lol, sounds like he was realistic to deal with and I would have to agree (though I dont have any experience with this) that “pay per play” does sound cheap doesnt it. Well done

  142. Charis says:

    @VA Gentleman – Well spoken and much appreciated advise for a newbie like myself, Thank You! 😉

  143. NYG says:

    You are not the only one.
    I read this book 7 years ago (and a few tantra books I bought in SF book store ) , so I was wondering too what did Flyr mean by mentioning it a few times.

    imagine that… for all these years still did not find with who to practice the tantra.

  144. NYG says:

    Victoria, congrats.

    The dress which ” stops right at knees” and NO Panties ! for first meeting is so brave.

    I usually wear strick dress (stops at the middle of the knees ) for first meeting (since my guys rather conservative) and fish net pantyhose (with panties underneath .lol) and sexy shoes.

    so you met him yesterday , right, you asked what to wear in the afternoon.
    he wrote you check and you wanted to make sure the check clears. now you wrote “it did” .

    Usually takes at least 2 days to clear a check and make money active at my Bank of America. ?

  145. Grasshopper says:

    ::overwhelms Va Gentleman with love, kindness…and cleavage::: *purrs*

  146. Grasshopper says:

    @Tina – ok..that settles it! Next time I go to Vegas, i’ma try at least one table game!
    Oooh! Oooh!..I bet that’s a good way to meet a pot, too! NICE!…heh

  147. Va Gentleman says:


    ” the most genuine SDs (even ones who claim no experience) have given something on our first date, even if they were just calling it “gas money.” ”

    Entitlement LA . Many are worried about getting something everytime they grace us with their presence. If all I am worried about is sex ,and all you are worried about is Sugar ,then we all know what to call that interaction . In reality we are all on a job interview –and a very valuable one indeed .
    Come on ladies -and I say this with love here . SBs are trying to woo a SD who you deem desireable for whatever reason. SDs are doing the same . It is a dance , a ritual as old as time . Telling ladies to ” stand your ground ” sounds powerful and confident , but in the end we all just want to get by two factors so we can get on with the arrangement/relationship .

    1) the screening : we want to make sure the pot is desireable enough that he/she is worthy of our committment and safe enough to take care of safety and financial obligations and ,

    2 ) The negotiation: What are you willing to do/give for the investment/time made and how/when do you execute this deal .

    It seems to me that the best way to do these things is to relate as anyone would on a date/business meet . You talk ,flirt ,eat, drink ,make merry , and if you like each other move forward as your comfort level grows to the next step, which might include intimacy . If a pot SB likes what she sees with a SD ,then she should do what it takes to make him like her so he will pick her from a list of dozens of other candidates . Taking an agressive posture with some will turn them off . Why not seduce him ? For a SD who likes a pot SB ,he too will be trying to impress her in the best way he can , which might include a gift ,cab fare ,flowers . Shelve the ball busting “I am Woman hear me roar ” approach and overwhelm him with love and kindness .

  148. Tina says:

    @Grassy: I KNOW! I love slots too, I’m too impatient for the tables….I want my payout NOW! hehehehehehe I could do roulette or craps, though!

  149. Grasshopper says:

    @Tina – Never been to Vegas before?! That is just SO wrong!..lol

    Grasshopper = Gambler

    Just slot machines..afraid to attempt tables, yet, for fear of slowing down the game with my inexperience..haha

  150. Tina says:

    Not to gamble though

    Is what I meant to say

  151. Tina says:

    @Grassy: I KNOW! I’ve never been, and I wanna go :( No gamble though

  152. Grasshopper says:

    @VictoriaNoSecret – do you mind telling us how much allowance you’ll be getting per month..and for how many meetings per month?

  153. DorkyGuy says:

    @Flyr~ Thanks for clearing that up, cheers :-)

  154. Grasshopper says:

    @Tina – VEGAS!!!

  155. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    @Christiana I enjoyed dinner, and him as well. A planned hour dinner date turned into three. lol We really enjoyed each other’s company. He wrote a check for my allowance after dinner and we are planning to meet on Saturday for lunch and shopping. I put our first meeting out a few days to ensure the check clears. It did. :)Even though I’m going to be a tax right off under my SD’s business. I don’t mind. lol

    @Flyr The first step was kind of easy. I asked what type of arrangement he was seeking. I asked how much time he had to commit to an arrangement, and what was he comfortable with as far as allowance. I explain that I’m not interested in a pay per visit arrangement because that cheapens the experience in my opinion. Im looking for a mutually beneficial arrangement with someone I have chemistry with and have respect for. I want the arrangement to be fun and not feel forced. I let him know a pay for visit arrangement makes me feel like I’m an escort and he’s a John and that doesn’t make me feel like he respects me. I also let him know I’m not desperate and I won’t accept an arrangement strictly for the need for financial help. I also ask is he looking to be responsible for 100% of my monthly expenses or looking to supplement my income. That gets everything out in the open and he has the option to decide what works for him. I hope that helps.

  156. flyr says:

    Dorky asked if I were affiliated with “She Comes First ” the book , Absolutely not, but I really thank him for asking to clear the air. My Amazon review is a three star as I thought the author took an arrogant approach to a very important subject. I was more a reference to the subject. Again , thanks for speaking up.

    LASB on free trials – Even though I am a guy I fully agree to the no free trials . If that’s what you offer that’s what you will likely get. I would say there’s an exception if the chemistry is right and you believe that he will do the right thing before you say goodbye. One of the best and longest lasting relationships I had started that way, with a simple statement from her of I trust you……. lets worry about that later. It’s a gamble and you need to test yourself before you go that route but if you are right you will have started in a great direction.

  157. Tina says:

    @NWSugarbaby: I am SO trying to figure out a way to make the Vegas PBR Finals! You’re right – cowboy hats, leather, bronc busting, 8 seconds of bull riding……I’m drooling over here! I’m a country girl at heart, if not in practice at the moment, so the smells of a rodeo don’t bother me one bit. I’m actually going to try to volunteer to help with one of the small local rodeos for next year, if I can. :)

    @VictoriaNoSecret: congrats on your entrance, and many pleasant sugary wishes your way!

    @flyr: “unfair” my arse! :)

  158. Grasshopper says:

    @Mandi – I think the best advice is to be true to thhe person you know you are. Approach meeting a pot SD with the mentality of “If it happens with him, it happens..if it doesn’t then it wasn’t meant to be.” If this lifestyle is something you truly want, for WHATEVER reason, keep at it. There are many different types of guys..and if it takes a bit longer to find the right one..that’s ok, too! I suggest that you don’t pressure yourself to get in a relationship where there is anything less than great chemistry between the two of you. Always be true to yourself, first and foremost. Good luck with everything :)

  159. DorkyGuy says:

    flyr, are you employed by or affiliated with She Comes First?

    Reading both of your plugs of the book, they seem oddly out of context, and sound like they could be written specifically to elevate the book in search rankings or as part of a SEO effort.

    Just asking… this is the second time you have mentioned the book in a way that seemed like an effort was made to try to bring it up out of context.

  160. LASB says:

    I disagree with the test drive way of doing sugar. Ladies, if a SD insists on sex before an allowance, think about what his motivation is for presenting such a thing. What comes to mind for me is that he is either cheap, selfish, a paranoid type, a con artist, and/or can’t afford much to begin with. Please ask yourself if those are qualities you want or can live with before proceeding. Please have the self esteem and enough financial security to say “no” when necessary. If a man says that you can only have money if you have sex with them, what does that make you? What does it make him? Jus’ sayin’!

    Also, when traveling to meet pots, please get your travel expenses taken care of beforehand. I have had pots ask me to use my CC with the promise to reimburse me, but I will always refuse. I let them know that I’m not comfortable with it. The real SDs will either offer to come see you or will find a way to get you the funds. The rest will be weeded out. Stand your ground! Also, I understand that a first date gift is heavily debated here, but from this SB’s perspective, the most genuine SDs (even ones who claim no experience) have given something on our first date, even if they were just calling it “gas money.”

  161. flyr says:

    Victoria – good thinking . But it sounds like you took “unfair” advantage of him :)

    Can we ask how you handled the first step

  162. Christiana says:

    VictoriaNo Secret nicely done and did you enjoy the dinner lol

  163. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    @Charis @Christiana @ Flyr I went with an off the shoulder fitted dress, my very sexy VS push up, heels, and no panties. lol. He picked a table in the center of the restaurant just to watch me walk… The goofy grin on his face let me know I made the right choice.

  164. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    @NYG yes we’ve agreed on an allowance before meeting. I think being open about your needs and wants and being tactfully honest it cuts down on games and it quickly allows you to weed out a poser. A real SD understands how the negotion process goes. He saw my pictures and there was an automatic attraction and he said the icing was I am intelligent and capable of maintaining my lifestyle without help which was a plus. I’ve had long term SDs in the past so the negotiation part is easier for me. This will be my first arrangement resulting from meeting someone online. That’s why I was nervous about what to wear.

  165. NC Gent says:

    GTT_Envy — welcome to the blog! I saw my past SBs about 1-2 times a month, but it was almost always during the week, because they traveled with me on business. For one weekend a month, I think you would be looking at about $1-2k a month, depending upon your location and a few other factors. Most won’t go for less than that because below that amount, because at some point it just isn’t worth their time. State clearly in your profile you are looking for one weekend a month and your allowance range – it will cut down on wasted time. Best wishes in your sugar search!

  166. Va Gentleman says:


    ” how do you start allowance for the month now (pretty big gamble for the guy) on credit or sample (bad deal for the girl) —-”

    Sigh! This always seems to be such a sticking point. Since so many SBs don’t like PTP and a fat Allowance up front is a big risk for SDs ,why not everybody act like IRL daters, get together for the night (or hour) for free and test the waters ? This happens, naturally, after a long courtship (40 days and 40 nights ) If it works out it would have been a good investment , and if it doesn’t work out aty least you both had a (hopefully) nice sexual experience . I’m assuming sex plays a big part in the SD’s motivation and he is not looking for a platonic dinner partner .


    ” do you think my being inexperienced with sugar dating and only having slept with a few guys before will be a turn off ” ?

    Mandi ,what is your phone number ? haha , just kidding Actually , a guy like me would find that very appealing . My SB said that she was new to Sugar Dating and I loved it . I am totally interested in monogamy ,relative naivte , and wonderment for pleasures yet to be experienced . If I wanted a sex machine iwould hire an escort . Emphasize this inexperience since many men want to educate their SB themselves as to their needs and desires .

  167. flyr says:

    Zoe wrote

    “This is my second time on this website. Hopefully, something comes of it this time.

    So far the only SD’s I came across are those looking for escorts which seems a little messed up. :/

    I actually had to put a paragraph in my profile that SD’s are expected to pay for my time, no pay no meet up. Kind of silly I had to do that on SA..”

    Let me see if I understand this, You say you want the pot SD to pay to meet you but you are unhappy when they treat you like an escort. If you are meeting to talk no payment is warranted. As a guy looking for a SB rather that an escort I am looking at behavior that is more social. With a reasonable exchange of information early in the process the meeting need not be long.

    If the potential SB is traveling some distance to the initial meeting then an offer (If you are willing to drive to my side of town I’ll insist on paying for gas regardless) to pay for gas is very appropriate. A funny card with the gas fund is a nice way to start the conversation (I wanted to make sure that I did not forget this)

    One of my rules is to never make the woman ask for what you promised unless there’s a problem

    Age – I do not think there’s a real rule here unless you are looking for arm candy. A 21 year old on the arm of a 50 year old in a serious social situation is likely to make a number of people uncomfortable. On the other hand a private relationship may provide the young woman with a priceless mentor in addition to the econ benefits. An older SD is more likely to have read She Comes First and appreciate the concept.

  168. GTT_Envy says:

    Pretty cool blog I’ve only read the last three months or so, but alot of good info!!!! I have a generic question for you guys and gals. My schedule and “life” don’t allow much time for frequent meetings. I have seen alot of people post about weekly, twice a week, couple times month etc I cannot hit that frequency.

    My question is: How common is it for a SB/SD to only see each other a weekend a month? And would that change your allowance?

  169. NC Gent says:

    Hampu — it would be nice if you would stop posting pictures! Also, the chances of finding a SM are pretty slim…. since the beginning of time, women can get it for free, so unless you bring an enormous amount to the table, I think you will be looking forever with nothing to show for it.

  170. NYG says:

    regular SBs profiles can receive and send mail.

    About blue SugarM profiles – I do not know, you can write to the site support.

    Hampu. Let me ask you what do you have special about you.

    Personalt u do not like you r a smoker, and your pictures with a sugarett in your fingers; on ur pictures u always point your finger/fingers at camera – what r u pointed at?
    I do not see anything special HOT about your body, not too athletic .
    You look selfish.
    If I would want a boy toy I would want him to care about me (not him self) and have some muscle definition , and nice gluts . :)
    May be a picture with kind eyes, strong arms… NOT pointing a cigarette at camera at noisy bar ?

  171. Mandi says:

    I meant, do you think my being inexperienced with sugar dating and only having slept with a few guys before will be a turn off. Of course, I am willing to sleep with a SD, as long as there is chemistry between us. I am just worried about being more “innocent” than other girls out there (not just with sex, but with dating in general.)

  172. PhoneGuy says:

    >do you think this will be a huge turn off for potential SDs?
    Can you clarify what you mean by “this”? Being NSA? Dating other people? Not having sex?

  173. Hampu Adrian says:

    Hello everyone , i`m on the site since 2009 and i still looking for a sugar mommy , please tell me that if i`m a standard member ladies recive my e-mails ?

  174. Mandi says:

    Good to hear that this is not a black and white issue! With the guy I have contacted so far, it seems we will only be meeting sporadically, so I can’t imagine him wanting a real commitment from me. But I will definitely discuss this before meeting up to make sure it is NSA. And I am currently not dating anyone, but I would like to keep my options open because you never know what will happen. And I would not accept money if I did not intend to see the guy again…I was just curious what is “normal”.
    I am ready to try this thing out, but still a bit nervous about my first meeting with a potential SD. I have been pretty conservative about dating in the past, and I’ve only ever slept with guys my own age I was serious with…do you think this will be a huge turn off for potential SDs?

  175. Nwsugarbaby says:

    @Anna Molly
    Cadbury Eggs are bogo (buy one get one) at Rite Aid this week. Peeps sound good too.

    Thats true that how you start the allowance hasn’t been discussed. Makes me curious as to how its usually done.

    Good luck with your dates. I think you have a good plan so far. Most of all as with anything keep a smile on your face and be honest if he isn’t what you are looking for.


    @Grassy, Tina, ClosetoIT I love rodeos so much. I go to MANY every year. I want to go to the NFR (National Finals Rodeo) in vegas some year. My favorite events are bull riding, barrel racing, steer wrestling, and team roping. So much excitement watching that 8 second ride ;).

    Hope all the other coeds have great spring break plans coming up.

  176. Anna Molly says:

    Hi everyone! I hope ya’ll are havin’ a good week so far! 😀

    I am for sure, especially tonight! I’ve had a vodka gimlet, two glasses of white wine, two glasses of port, and two glasses of red. LOL, I’m feelin’ pretty good right now! 😀

    I’ll catch up on the blog later.

    SDinLA ~ Sigh, I’m still waiting for my Cadbury Eggs…you’re such a bad boy!! To promise a lady chocolate then not deliver is a travesty! You need to be punished!!

    Sorry if my spelling is incorrect, but, considering my current state of mind I’m sure it can be forgiven, can’t it? 😀

  177. Charis says:

    @VictoriaNoSecret- As to what to wear for a first meet and contract inking I can’t tell you having never experienced it myself. What I can say is that I believe you should wear what makes you feel best about your self and what you can bring to the negotiating table. There is power and confidence to a person (and I mean both men and women) who feels good about themselves and this power and confidence attracts others to them in a positive way.
    Personally my favorites usually include silk or leather.;)

  178. Flyr says:

    Victoria – wear what’s appropriate for the meeting location, wear what feels comfortable and OK wear something that allows you to add a little titillation if you choose to emphasize how lucky he is to be with you.

  179. Flyr says:

    I spent years traveling on business a minimum of two days a week. My first rule is to never put anything on the bedspread that not headed for the wastebasket or dirty laundry and certainly not your neeked body. No exemption for quality hotels. At least the carpet gets vacuumed.

  180. Flyr says:

    A couple of the posts started to address a sticky problem . You have traded emails , met for a glass of wine, agreed on an allowance. But how do you start allowance for the month now (pretty big gamble for the guy) on credit or sample (bad deal for the girl) partial payment by check (is the check good) and then it comes down to potentially p4p on the initial intimate encounter but that’s a turnoff for some women (and this is supposed to be about feeling comfortable and good)

    Any thoughts appreciated. I’ve had several who were fine with an initial payment were we felt there was a good connection. And one recent who was new to this and very put off when we discussed it prior to meeting.

    As an SD my concern about the balance of her sex life is primarily one of health. I would rather she have a boyfriend or another SD than be doing the club scene in hollywood with her friends.

  181. Christiana says:

    VictoriasSecret that’s something, you have already agreed on your financial terms and he hasn’t met you, better look so hot his will want to up the rate a bit lol, if you have discussed what he wants and expects and your expectations too then as was suggested look as hot as you can. Hope it goes well.

  182. NYG says:

    Dorky… Dorky…
    U r impossible . And you remember SDinLA posts by heart. :)
    Why do I like you ?

  183. Pebbles says:

    Evening, Sugars

    All is well in SB land
    Meeting went well, We had talked enjoyed lunch, Then I revamp our agreement and my needs he said he agreed. 2 hours later had move-on to another SD date .

  184. DorkyGuy says:

    @NYG~ If I am a chicken, maybe I am one of SDinLA’s “non-human participants”? 😛

  185. NYG says:

    U r meeting for the first time today … but already agreed on your allowances .

    So you discussed the financial part via e mails/texts ?

  186. GenuineSD says:

    Just to add another twist on the opinions…
    In some cases a pot SD may offer a gift on the first date… Sometimes it’s a gesture of sincerity, sometimes it’s to recognize the effort you went to in meeting, sometimes it might be an attempt at leverage. You don’t *have* to do anything you’re not comfortable with -ever.
    If offered, a real SD will understand that the gift is NSA…

    In terms of multiple SDs: Some SBs do, some don’t – I think the key is to be honest about your intentions… Screen for the type of arrangement that *you* want…

    And as for IRL boyfriends, etc. Same thing… Be honest. Negotiate for what you want…

    In my personal experience, I’ve experienced all of the above at one time of another… But the situation was always honest and up front… To me, that’s the key. We all have our desired scenarios and we all have “deal breakers”…. Know in advance what yours are, and stick with what you’re comfortable with..,,

  187. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    @Christiana I’m thinking about wearing a fitted dress that stops about the knee and some mile high heels. We’ve chatted and texted for a few weeks and we’ve already agreed on my allowance, now it’s time to ink the contract. lol

    @phoneguy I will do just that 😉 thanks

    @geniunesd thanks 😉

  188. NYG says:

    You know what I meant. You do not need to do anything with second M.
    Just like Amy described the bed room stuff (you wrote you r with her at this point).

    in other words… Dorky… You chickened out…

  189. GenuineSD says:

    Hi, I’d suggest dressing well but appropriately for the venue. I think looking one’s best always helps. I think you’ll feel most confidant dressed well for the occasion.
    In negotiating an allowance, I never look at the pot SB’s dress as justification for anything other than attraction. Just my opinion, but I’d be comfortable and confidant first.

  190. PhoneGuy says:

    I would go with something you look HOT in. 😉

  191. Christiana says:

    So tell us more about your look and what you intend to wear, I assume this is your first meeting with this potential SD?

  192. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    Hello sugars!!! I need your help… AGAIN. :) I’m meeting a potiential SD for dinner and I’m not sure what to wear. My non sugar bowl friends suggest I look like I need help… Desperately. LOL. Im thinking wear something that suggests that I can support myself without help but it justifies my negotiated allowance amount. What you think?

  193. Grasshopper says:

    Tina – that sounds awesome! This year i’ma try and go to the Rodeo they have in Las Vegas every December (starts around the first week in Dec. And lasts for 10 days). I’d be in heaven smelling all that leather ;P

  194. PhoneGuy says:

    >you can see that there is no one firm stand on any of this. It is all very liquid
    I love when it’s all very liquid. 😉

  195. PhoneGuy says:

    @Mandi, I’ll have another go at this answer. You don’t have to sleep with him but he is unlikely to keep paying you if you keep not sleeping with him. 😉

  196. Grasshopper says:

    Grasshopper = Valkyrie \m/

  197. DorkyGuy says:

    ”I am very new to this. If I meet with a man and he gives me money, am I obligated to sleep with him? Can I be seeing several guys at once? Can I date while I have a sugar daddy? ”

    My answers would be “certainly not, preferrably not, and yes”

    With VAGent and I giving diametrically opposed answers, you can see that there is no one firm stand on any of this. It is all very liquid and individual.

  198. Va Gentleman says:

    @ NYG

    ” Or it is reasonable to both party agree to go p4p for the first a few times ” ?

    NYG ,you made my PTP point exactly ! How do you commit to someone when you haven’t even tested the waters ? Do PTP for a few times until you decide to make it long term


    I am very new to this. If I meet with a man and he gives me money, am I obligated to sleep with him? Can I be seeing several guys at once? Can I date while I have a sugar daddy? ”

    Yes , No , No

    Actually , I can hear the valkyries gathering lol Mandi , you can do anything that you want to do . You are in charge of your own destiny . I recommend that you discuss your preferences with the gentlemen involved . Amy has two guys at once , many others have multiple SDs, and many have IRL BFs and SDs .

    If you were my SB the answer to your questions would be as above . Yes ,No ,and No way

  199. DorkyGuy says:

    @NYG~ In the comparison of FMF and MFM, I think there are big differences. In FMF, the guy would probably enjoy seeing the girls enjoying each other. In MFM, if the guys started enjoying each other, I could see the girl screaming and running from the room 😛

  200. Va Gentleman says:


    ” I am super happy with the woman I am seeing right now, she is wonderful! ”

    Welcome Scotty ! I am glad to see you are an equal opportunity SD .

  201. CloseToIT says:

    Rodeo!!! I want to go to one! yiiiiiihaa!

  202. Tina says:

    @Grassy: I LOVE rodeo time! I’m trying to get a friend to go with me to the Built Ford Tough Series bull riding when it comes to San Antonio later this year!!!

  203. Tina says:

    @PhoneGuy: I think you’d be a good candidate 😉 And I think the bigger question is who wants to be the F?

  204. PhoneGuy says:

    @NYG has thrown down the gauntlet! Anyone want to volunteer to be the other M in that MFM sandwich? 😉

  205. Tina says:

    I’ve had an experience with someone that was interested in a MMF situation. It was an exboyfriend of mine that got back in touch a few years after we ended the relationship. I will admit that this request caught me off guard, as he had never been interested in this when we were together, and was very excited about the possibility. He said that he had never had a situation like that, and wanted to watch another guy satisfy me after he had his chance.

    So, that might explain some draw to it; he has absolutely no homosexual tendencies, he was more interested in watching my, er, reactions, than what the other person was doing. It was more like he wanted a live porn for himself.

    And no, it never happened. I’m just not interested in multiple sexual partners (male or female). I’m kind of old fashioned that way.

    I know that this isn’t the situation that Amy has, however, just thought that it would possibly bring to light some of the possibilities that are out there and the thoughts behind them.

  206. NYG says:

    I knew you had “germs of wisdom”
    . Coz this is exactly want I wanted to write to Dorky.

    Dorky you know I love you but please let us speak from the experience here.
    May be you should follow GURU’ advice, try it and tell us if it feels any bi sexual/strange/exiting/the best thing u have done.

    For now your kinkiest fantasy was “movie NO sex” “her head on your shoulder while watching movie in cinema” .

    I dare you, OK.
    I am going to try FMF,
    You try MFM and we will compare our notes if it feels any gay/Bi. :)
    what do you say?
    (btw why would you want to fulfill your SB’ MFM fantasy? you are paying for the meeting, your fantasy should be fullfilled . No? U r so altruistic you would do MFM just to help with her fantasy?)

  207. Grasshopper says:

    @PhoneGuy – …heh 😉

  208. PhoneGuy says:

    @Dorky, again it would be one thing doing it once as a fantasy versus having an ongoing thing with the same 3 people. Where is DaddyGT when you need him for the terminology. In some way those guys are in a sexual relationship with each other.

    @Grasshopper, Really? I wonder if we know anyone who knows any cuckolds. 😉

  209. Grasshopper says:

    @PhoneGuy – the guy who likes seeing other guys bang his wife is a cuckold!..haha

  210. DorkyGuy says:

    @SD Guru~ I don’t think I am missing the point. I think it is all on what you focus on.

    It certainly isn’t a scenario I would ever seek out, and don’t find it appealing, but if a girl I was really into wanted to fulfill a fantasy of hers, I would probably be game to try.

    You are right though… who knows if I could actually perform when in the actual moment? No idea! Maybe we would need another girl there 😉 Even porn stars get a fluffer!

  211. PhoneGuy says:

    @Dorky, Very interesting discussion. Is the guy who likes watching his wife get banged gay? Hmmm. He’s something and I just don’t know what. I’d love to hear what the resident Psych majors have to say here. I don’t think it’s “normal” and I’m sure he has some type of issue stemming from something. Just my opinion.
    Guy watching porn? Now you’re just being silly. I don’t care what kind of 3D TV you have, at no point in watching porn do I have to concern myself with some other dude’s junk smacking into me. Similarly I don’t ever need to worry about going to kiss the girl (anywhere) and having to replay the tape in my mind from the past 30 minutes to figure out if his junk was in contact with that area.

    I’m not judging and I don’t know the motivation for wanting MFM but I can’t figure out what the draw is (for the guys) wanting to repeatedly engage in it over…something else.
    ps I’m not that hot on the FMF if the girls aren’t into each other. I think that is about 80% of the draw there. If the girls don’t like girls it just seems like sex with half the penis they usually get. 😉

    • SD Guru says:


      I think you’re missing the point from SDinLA. Being able to “perform” on a female in close proximity of another male who is also performing on the same female is very different from watching porn, or watching another couple going at it, or being part of a movie set with other people present. Maybe you should give all those scenarios a try and see if you can tell the difference… 😛

  212. DorkyGuy says:

    I think I agree with Amy on this one. A guy who enjoys watching his wife get banged by other guys… is he closet gay? Probably not. A guy who enjoys watching porn, which clearly has other guys in an aroused state… closet gay? Probably not. Even porn stars… who have to perform while having another guy holding a camera very up close and personal… closet gay? Probably not.

    I think it is very possible that the guys are watching *her* response to the other guy and getting off on *her* response, not really watching the other guy.

  213. southern_sd says:

    Interesting twist of topics……………..I know I could never do MMF ever!!

    I would bet a very large sum of $$$$$ that I would have huge AROUSAL problems being so close to a naked guy….we are all different, but most guys I know are definitely not down for that expecially on a regular basis.

    In fact in a assumed DP situation the thought of it is pretty nauseating to be honest.

  214. NYG says:


    I like Amy, and I like that she shared her expirience and happy to find an arrangement she is enjoying .

    I was thinking about this bi stuff. I understand your point. I’ve never been with a girl and never done FMF thing (yes, I am that boring ) :)
    To have FMF I have to have some Bi tendencies – another girl is going to see me during intimate play, orgasms… and she might be Bi … I am not sure it is comfortable for me, and then this other girl have to be nice and neat not someone I would not stand out of bed.

    So for MFM stuff the guy has to observe another guy be naked, get aroused ! cum! many times on regular basis. ?
    May be… Like for me (I am sure this Bi , threesome stuff very different for males and females) but even for me … May be 1 time, then I am drunk, if it happens it’s OK, but regulary get aroused in front of another girl. ? I think I am not able to.
    does that make me straight, vanilla and boring?:) :)

  215. Mandi says:

    Thanks for the clarification…I have never done anything like this before and I am still unsure how I feel about it. But I hope that it can’t hurt to try it out, as long as I can opt out if I feel I need to. Maybe the problem is that I have only been contacted by people I don’t feel comfortable with….I am just afraid to turn guys down and end up not getting any other offers…

  216. PhoneGuy says:

    You can do whatever you agree that you can do. If you want to date or see other SDs, when you make your arrangement with your SD, just let him know it is NSA and if you want to be blunt, let him know not to ask what you do when you are not with him. 😉
    With regards to money and sex, you’re never obligated to sleep with anyone. But again, what did you agree to? Did you agree to an arrangement with this person? If so, the sex is kinda implied…at some point. Did he say anything when he handed over the cash? Did he give it to you to woo you and get in your good graces? I’ve given girls money and not got sex…which is why you try to limit what you are giving away until you are sure the other person is into you and wants to continue and develop this relationship. Good luck.

  217. Mandi says:

    I am very new to this. If I meet with a man and he gives me money, am I obligated to sleep with him? Can I be seeing several guys at once? Can I date while I have a sugar daddy?

  218. Grasshopper says:

    Daring to make a point = MUST be cranky

    WHO KNEW! 😉

  219. Grasshopper says:

    @SENSEIinLA – Do you buy your cranky pants in bulk?

  220. SDinLA says:

    @Amy “Straight” guys get uncomfortable with MMF 3somes. You can take part in an orgy, or a MMF 3some when you’re drunk, high or whatever. But afterwards, “straight” guys are a bit weirded out and usually have to go do something macho to prove to themselves that they have no homoerotic tendencies after having had that much contact/interaction with another naked guy and his penis.

    Any guys that choose to REGULARLY participate in MMF 3somes with the same woman, by MY definition, the definition of all the straight guys I know and almost all of the MANY gay guys I know (Having lived in San Francisco, NYC and LA I have tons of gay friends) and have had the discussion with re: “what behavior is straight vs. closeted vs. bi vs. gay” share my definition.

    Your SDs can say that they are just comfortable sharing a woman, enjoy MMF 3somes, are “more in touch/open with their sexuality” or whatever they want to say, but by the metrics of almost everyone I know, regardless of their sexual orientation, choosing to do that means they have some bi tendencies that they apparently would rather convince themselves they do not possess.

    How can you say that they are “certainly straight not straight part time?” I am saying that by MY definition, choosing to have regular MMF 3somes with you means ipso facto they are certainly NOT!

    What does it matter to you? You’re the beneficiary of their tendencies! 😉

  221. Amy says:

    SDinLa are you talking from experience? Define straight yourself. The two guys I am with are certainly straight not straight part time, but then again you are clearly way more experienced with straight guys than I am.

  222. Grasshopper says:

    @PhoneGuy – <3

    • SD Guru says:

      I just can’t look at her sexually once I’m with her. Even after some drinks its like there is a mental block.

      Don’t force your brain and body to do something you’re not comfortable with. I’m sure there are many SD’s that will be happy to take the problem off your hands and satisfy her sexually regardless of the age gap. 😛

      Ad to that the she is 21 I’m mid 30′s… She’s only a couple years older than my daughter

      If that’s the case, then it implies you were about 16 when you fathered your child?? Anyway, an age gap of about 15 years between you and your SB is not unusual. Just ask SD’s who are 30-40 years older than their SB’s! :)

  223. PhoneGuy says:

    I know you wouldn’t Grassy. :-)

  224. Grasshopper says:

    @SENSEIinLA – touche

  225. SDinLA says:

    @Amy define “straight.” You mean like the “straight” married guy with kids who goes and has sex with men on the down low?

    I’ve been around all kinds of debauchery (being in social circles where all the young men have too much money and testosterone and not enough common sense will expose you to that.) Orgies. Gang bangs. Non-human participants. All kinds of fetishes.

    And I stand by my statement. No straight guys would willingly choose to engage in MMF 3somes on a regular basis with a shared SB. And I have gay friends who agree with me on that opinion. It’s not an insult, just an observation.

    There’s nothing wrong with being bi or gay. And people can label themselves anything they want to…

  226. Grasshopper says:

    @SENSEIinLA – “unpossible”…”inreasonable”…PSH!!!

  227. Amy says:

    My SD’s are straight I can assure you and they willingly share me on a regular basis.

  228. SDinLA says:

    @Grassy I read “uncompatible” in my Ralph Wiggums voice. “Me fail English? That’s unpossible!” 😉

    I think I gave my cranky pants from last week to you, I don’t think it was inreasonable to suggest to someone who’s stated that they are in their mid 30s, and incomfortable dating 21 year olds to move up the age range a notch rather than suggesting he be open to “all ages.”

    @BeautifullySweeetSB He may not be actively searching right now but wanted to save your profile for when he activates his account again. I know many genuine SDs who let their memberships lapse for various reasons and only activate them as necessary.

    @NYG, re: your supermodel friends who are cold fish in the bedroom, that’s something men learn from experience. I actually think that in many cases that goes back to the E word. Women who have been stunningly beautiful since adolescence often seem to think that they don’t need to work hard to be better lovers because they’ve had guys drooling over them for their looks all along.

    @everyone I don’t know any straight SDs who would willingly choose to “share” a SB and have MMF threesomes on a regular basis. But nothing wrong with being bi, if that’s your thing.

    Re: education, there are many places to get educated, not just in a classroom. That said, and examples like Bill Gates aside, for the vast majority of people, education- meaning HS, then university- is indeed the best path to empowerment because college dropouts who become billionaires are far less common than successful businesspeople with college degrees, and of course many professions are not attainable without graduate degrees in a specific field of study.

  229. Grasshopper says:

    @Tina – I LOVE Rodeo! The last time I went to one was when I was just a wee lass…but I can watch it for HOURS on ESPN..haha…I love it!

  230. Amy says:

    My SD’s paid me weekly for 2 weeks then monthly, they are absolute gentlemen in public and if need be introduce me as their personal assistant, in the bedroom they are far from gentlemanly but I accept that it’s good for all concerned.

  231. Grasshopper says:

    I would never stand you up, PhoneGuy..EVER ;P

  232. Tina says:

    @ Grassy: not too bad, when I can breathe! Went to the rodeo today – yeeeeeeeeeehaw!

    @Phone Guy: sorry you’re running into the flakes!

    @Beach Girl: Hiya girlie!

    @BeautifullySweet: I wouldn’t waste my time; he can’t respond until he pays, and if he’s interested in you enough and he decides to pay, he’ll contact you

  233. PhoneGuy says:

    @NYG, a few guys have said they like to go weekly for a few weeks…probably for the reasons you talk about.

    Half the girls I’ve talked to can’t even seem to show up for the first date. I’m definitely not trusting them with a month’s allowance. 😉

  234. Grasshopper says:


  235. Grasshopper says:

    @NYG – I have thought about that sort of situation…and I have also wondered about what the two people involved would do if they end up discovering that they are uncompatible in bed. In the case of the allowance being 5k, I would give the guy most of his money back..not ALL of it…but MOST of it 😉

  236. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!

    Welcome to the Newbies 😀

    CroatBB~ You can go on the top right side of this page there are tips to help with profile, first dates etc… they are really helpful and so are the people here! welcome and good luck

    ScottyNoCal~ congrats!

    BeautifullySweeetSB~ Blue profiles CAN’T EMAIL YOU!
    who knows the reason, is it important? it could be he’s looking around and found you to his taste and wanted to keep you profile for when he decides to become a paying member, or he’s just turned blue or what ever… doesn’t matter, he can’t mail you back if you mail him ….

  237. Grasshopper says:

    @Tina – Hey..whatcha up to? – other than sneezing, that is 😉

  238. NYG says:


    I was wondering too.

    For example if a girl meet a SD and she like him, he likes her… A few dates… They feel good about each other.
    So they decided to proceed and meet for intimate play.

    How can they agree to monthly or any other arrangement before they actually have sex.

    May be after first time she or he realize it does not feel right it does not feel how she/he imagined
    it would be.
    I personally have 2 GFs who look stunning with real super model look… And absolutle cold in bed, unorgasmic.
    For a SD it would be real cool and it would turn many head to take this girl to a party/ restaurant … many guys would envy him, but… If he wants a great sex… not going to happen.

    Let’s say they agreed 5k a month…etc,
    They get to hotel … And she is not what he is looking in bed? next day he realizes he does not want this sex with her ever again.
    the point is he transferred 5k to her account … Now he has to continue ?

    Or it is reasonable to both party agree to go p4p for the first a few times .

    and vise versa . She does not like him after first sex (his penis is super small, he stinks, he is way too demanding.,.. anything) for the whole money in the word she does not want ever to have sex with him…. of course she can just transfer money back to his account? … kind of easier… May be …

    I just do not know how sure about your comparability parties have to be NOT to go p4p first time?

    May be I do not get something? seriously.
    Of course sex is not everything in arrangements, but still most important part (let us notice the elephant in the room).

    of course it is nice then a guy trusts a girl and provide monthly allowances during first meeting. feels very good , and the guy is very brave. :)
    But I still do not understand how this generally works… how SD/SB can come to an agreement and financial agreement for a few months (Guru says usualy it lasts 3-4 months) before they try
    each other in bed?

  239. BeautifullySweeetSB says:

    @Tina i’m not sure if I should message him or not. I see it as since he hasn’t paid for his membership he’s not serious about finding a good sb. Am I being unfair for thinking that way?

  240. AnnaMW says:

    Hi! I slightly modified my name since there was another Midwest girl referenced and I didn’t want to create confusion.

    Regarding older vs. younger SBs, it is of course a matter of preference, but I’ve found that most of the guys here are looking for a girl who might not be attainable under normal circumstances. I am in my mid 20s and most of my RL relationships have been with guys 10-15 years older than me, but for women my age, I am probably the exception.

    Women on SA tend to be more comfortable with men who are substantially older than the typical 20-something would be. That isn’t to say that there aren’t a TON of beautiful women in their 30s with lots of guys looking for them, but 20-something will always be more popular. I sometimes wonder what the experience is like for the 18-22 year olds, if men feel a disconnect with women that young…. What do you think?

  241. Tina says:

    GRASSY!!!! MWA MWA MWA MWA! I’m not contagious! I promise! (dang allergies)

  242. Grasshopper says:

    @ScottyNoCal – Re:” Age made no difference to me, instead personality, maturity, connection, and attraction ruled the day. I think you can find that connection in anyone…age shouldn’t matter.”

    Scotty, I love the way you look at things! Kudos to you! Welcome to the blog :)

  243. Tina says:

    @BeautifullySweet: not necessarily, it just means they haven’t paid for some reason. Some don’t want to renew their membership, some never wanted to have to pay in the first place, some may not longer have the means, etc. etc. etc.

  244. CroatBB says:

    Hi Sugar World! Newbie SB and first time blog poster here. So I’ve been on the site about two weeks, got a few emails, and have been talking to 2 pots. I haven’t gotten any new mail for a few days and I’m wondering if it’s because of my profile and maybe thinking I should re-word a few things. Just wanted another perspective on this! I know it varies, but I was wondering how often other SBs get new messages.

    Thanks in advance.

  245. BeautifullySweeetSB says:

    @Tina so does that mean that they are not serious about finding a sb?

  246. Tina says:

    @BeautifullySweet: it means they haven’t paid their membership, which means they cannot message you. Profiles with orange or black backgrounds are those that have paid their membership, so they can message appropriately.

  247. BeautifullySweeetSB says:

    Hello Sugars! Quick question. What does it mean if someone favorites you but they have a blue profile? Does that mean that they can’t message me since I have a premium profile?

  248. Tina says:

    @ScottyNoCal: welcome to the blog, and congrats!

  249. ScottyNoCal says:

    Hi all, I’m new to this blog and have found this thread fascinating. My perspective on this: I’ve had two SBs, each for greater than a year in duration. I went through a lot of searching before I found either. The first was 22, my current is 31. Age made no difference to me, instead personality, maturity, connection, and attraction ruled the day. I think you can find that connection in anyone…age shouldn’t matter. I am super happy with the woman I am seeing right now, she is wonderful!

  250. Tina says:

    @ Jenniebug: YEAH for being spoiled! :)

  251. Tina says:

    Ahem, I will have to offer my opinion now. I am in my mid 30s, and will tell you that I entered the sugar bowl for the exact reasons that Dorky mentions. I don’t want the drama, expectations, etc. that can (and have) come with IRL relationships. I have a few things of my own that I am working on, and am not ready to compromise for anyone IRL. But, I would like to have some companionship at a few things I would like to experience, and would also like the opportunity to experience a few things that are out of my reach.

    So, being with a SD is not because I HAVE to. This is something that I WANT to do. It’s my personal choice, based on what I want in my life right now. It’s not because I can’t get a date any other way – I have a few open offers on the table right now – it’s because of what I’m looking for at this point in my life, and what a SD/SB relationship can offer me in order to get to my personal goals.

    The sugar bowl isn’t for everyone, and you have to know what you want and what you are looking for in order to be successful in it. If you enter this lifestyle only because other relationships haven’t worked in the past, and haven’t thought about what you’re looking to get out of it for yourself, you’re doomed to fail.

    @ Grassy: I think Jessie is right and you woke up on the wrong side of SOMEONE’S bed, if not your own 😉

  252. Today was an awesome day of stormy/Jennie shopping. I feel extremely spoiled.

  253. Grasshopper says:

    @Dutch Girl – OF COURSE 😉

  254. Grasshopper says:

    @Jessie – think what you will 😉

  255. Dutch Girl In London says:

    Oops seems I have really offended someone.

    I only suggested late twenties as Southern SD mentioned his SB was 21 and he was mid thirties himself so a SB in her late twenties would make more sense than a 21 year old.

  256. Jessie says:

    @Grasshopper – LOL. Just so you know, I still think you roll out on the wrong side ;).

  257. Grasshopper says:

    @Jessie – My point continues to be validated ;D

  258. Jessie says:

    @Grasshopper – YES ;). He said his SB WAS 21, so not far-fetched to mention that he tried searching for someone who is in their LATE 20s. Not dictating “preference” of course, but ONLY a suggestion.

  259. Grasshopper says:

    @Jessie – oh NOW i get it!…She must have ASSumed that’s what he meant!

  260. Jessie says:

    @Grasshopper – Girl, you gonna quibble with me ’bout preference? LOL

  261. Grasshopper says:

    @Jessie – haha..um, that sentence doesn’t mention preference 😉

  262. Jessie says:

    Grasshopper – Southern-sd wrote…”Ad to that the she is 21 I’m mid 30′s makes it too obvious to my brain that this is not what appears.”

  263. Grasshopper says:

    @Jessie – please c&p that part in southern_sd’s original post where he actually mentions that is his preference (anything from his posts prior to Dutch Girl making HER post, that is) – because I scrolled back and I read no such thing in it.

  264. Jessie says:

    @Grasshopper – Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning? LOL. Why are you giving Dutch Girl a hard time? You know she only mention late 20s because that’s the age range that Southern_sd suggested previously (he said he was uncomfortable with early 20s) so suggesting late 20s wasn’t so farfetched. I’m sure she never meant for him to not consider ANY other age range.

  265. DorkyGuy says:

    “as far as age I date in the 30-40 range so paying someone isn’t very appealing. If its attainable I can’t see paying ….I guess if she was off the charts gorgeous or we were two peas in the same pod..Idk……!! ~southern_sd

    Yeah, I could date IRL in the 30+ range no problem as well.

    The reasons to do sugar with the older set are pretty much the same as the reasons for doing sugar with the younger set. Things happen on your terms, she will be more accommodating about your availability, more understanding of work interruptions, she will be less likely to bring her personal drama, discretion, accelerated intimacy, no nagging/complaining, and a myriad of other benefits that are unique to sugar relationships.

  266. Jessie says:

    @Southern_sd – It sounds like you have a combination of conflicts…age and exchanging money being the biggest. If an older SB still doesn’t feel right for you, there is no point in “forcing” yourself to enjoy a relationship that you’re clearly not meant to have. You don’t NEED to be fixed…your feelings and desires are perfectly fine. If you feel you need to get out of the sugar bowl, by all means do so. There are tons of worthy women offline as well…and you never know, you just might meet someone who will fit all your needs IRL. There are SDs here who have NEVER found a SB online, but have done well with finding a companion/gf IRL….if that turns into a SD/SB relationship that will be up to you two. You will at least get rid of the thought that she’s only with you because you’re offering her an allowance. You can listen to a bunch of different advise, but in the end if it still feels “icky” to you, the purpose of being here is fruitless.

  267. Grasshopper says:

    @Dorky – Re: “Also, searching 30+ is a really great option! There are some beautiful SBs in that age range!
    One of the SBs I was most interested in was
    actually 40+.”

    You see! I LOVE that you said that, Dorky! It’s all about being open minded..and being real. ::gives Dorky “KUDOS”..(and butterfly kisses..heh)::

  268. Southern_sd says:

    I know what the data says I just don’t follow it……… 😉 as far as age I date in the 30-40 range so paying someone isn’t very appealing. If its attainable I can’t see paying ….I guess if she was off the charts gorgeous or we were two peas in the same pod..Idk……!!

  269. PrinceCharming says:


    I’ll echo the others about moving up in age if you’re uncomfortable. I’ve found that the younger SBs are often at a place mentally that is refreshing, but tends to bring out my protective side, and the women I’ve met in their late 20s didn’t have that issue. (Refreshingly I’ve talked to a younger SB who’s head appears to be in her 30s, so let’s hope something comes of that!)

    There is a huge issue with compassion and the SB/SD relationship, as it opens you up to be played. SD Guru’s rules posted in the last blog go a long way towards short-circuiting this. Perhaps see if you’d feel differently with an older SB, and if not examine the “rules” and see if they conflict enough with your inner nature to make you give up on sugar — there’s nothing wrong with that, but if these relationships make you happy it’d be a shame to give up just because of some discomfort around one fixable issue.

    There are far fewer 30+ SBs than in the lower 20s, but some of them are golden and have a lot to bring to the table.

  270. Grasshopper says:

    @ VA Gentleman – Glad you mentioned Bill Gates – that was my point, exactly 😉

  271. DorkyGuy says:

    @southern_sd~ I am a very compassionate person, but I don’t hand out money to the guy on the corner. Literally, you are hurting him. There are reasons that he is on the corner instead of in a shelter getting job training, etc. He either has substance abuse issues or is not willing to abide by rules that will help him actually escape his situation. Never give money to panhandlers, period… especially if you profess to want them to have a better life.

    Also, searching 30+ is a really great option! There are some beautiful SBs in that age range! One of the SBs I was most interested in was actually 40+.

  272. Southern_sd says:

    You say therapy……..lol……maybe. Like I said before its not just age its age + money etc that adds fuel to the fire. If I were out and a early 20 something was on me like white on rice I assure you it would be deal sealing time. When you add $$$$ to the mix the (white knight) comes out. All kinds of thoughts pop in my head “just help her out poor thing”, “you are fortunate and she’s only sleeping with you for the $$$” its a culmination of both things. I’m the guy who gives $20 to the person holding a sign on the corner, volunteers at soup kitchens on Thanksgiving, bleeding heart by nature.

    I feel like I’m using them if it goes that far and they are that young and I’m in the heat of the moment……like I said mentally the rendition seems great in person not so much…….yeah so maybe therapy.

    As far as age I searched 21-25 in my head in needed to feel unattainable I didn’t realize I would feel what I feel when the time came. Best of luck!!!!

  273. Va Gentleman says:


    Each to his own which is the beauty of this world Southern. If an older SB would work for you then that is obviously the way to go as Grassie said. You need to set your screening age higher .

    There are two other options . 1) therapy . IMHO any guy from 20 to 80 who isn’t turned on by a hot coed might have issues . 2) seek a different coed . Perhaps this one has characteristics which remind you of your daughter

    @Zoey Amber

    Welcome Zoey ! I have opined ad nauseum about PTP so every body else here who knows me will cringe. But —sometimes a valid pot SD would like to make a short term arrangement to get to know you –whether it is on the first or tenth date, PTP is a way to provide Sugar for an extended date in order to see if both of you have the connection to make a longer term committment . Sure ,there are plenty of Ho Mongers out there looking for a cheap lay . But don’t rule out a good guy you feel a connection with . And BTW -don’t make your first visit so cheap ,which will rule out the guys looking for “cheap ”


    Congratulations on a successful arrangement . As I mentioned above ,each of us has our own needs /likes . MMF brings to mind some interesting combinations none of which sound desireable to me if you function as a trio and not 2 separate pairs . –now FMF I can imagine . Do the gentlemen see you at different times or do you play together ? And if together is there M/ M action happening ?


    ” Probably self serving, but if he is married he is probably going to lie to you too ”

    The beauty of SA is the NSA nature of the arrangement . As a married member I am totally upfront with my long term SB .


    ” For alll those snobs that think a person’s worth depends on how much formal education they have under their belt ”

    You are absolutely correct that formal education doesn’t guarantee smarts,class, or success . However SDs and SBs trying to screen for intelligent partners have a greater chance of finding them in the College group. Bill Gates comes to mind as a guy who did OK dropping out of college

  274. Grasshopper says:

    @Dutch Girl – why is it that he HAS to look for a SB in her 20s at all??? You actually suggest “late” 20s like there is no other logical answer to his dilemma but to find someone in her 20s? Why did you mention an age range? I dare say that if you were in your late 30s as opposed to being in your late 20s, you wouldn’t have suggested that late 20s age range. Why do SDs HAVE to date chicks in their 20s, like it’s their effing job or something??? Lmfao!..The amount of propaganda being served up around this joint is absurd!

  275. Southern_sd says:

    Grasshopper and DGIL, I might do that maybe 24-28 my last longterm gf was 30 or 6 years my junior, so they can’t be too old ya know.

  276. Dutch Girl In London says:

    Southern SD – why don’t you look for a SB in their late twenties if it freaks you out so much?

    I am in my late twenties and I am sure a fair few others are too. Some problems are easily solved – this is one of them!

  277. Zoey Amber says:

    Also oops.. didn’t mean to make the angry face!

  278. Zoey Amber says:

    @DorkyGuy Thanks for the insight. I guess I could’ve phrased it or worded it better, sorry English is my second language. 😡

    I like to talk to SD’s for a while via text/phone before meeting up in person. I read a few horror stories from the previous thread and I don’t want to get myself in a situation that’s too sticky for me. I guess I just really need to find a better way or get advice how to weed out the real SD’s from the wannabe’s. :\

  279. Grasshopper says:

    @Southern_sd – The obvious solution is to date someone older! PROBLEM SOLVED!

  280. DorkyGuy says:

    @Southern-sd~ I hear ya, and empathize. At some point though, your SBs and daughters’ ages will coincide. Otherwise, when you are 80, you will be limited only to SBs 65 and older.

  281. Southern_sd says:

    Dorky, yeah she does she initiated the first kiss….lol, but my brain overrules! It goes something like this when I’m not with her ” This weekend will be so hot, we’ll do x, y, and z then back to the hotel for a freak session”

    The reality goes like this as my brain argues with itself “we do x, y, and z and the whole time I’m thinking how young she looks. She’s only a couple years older than my daughter weird….how would you feel if some did this with your daughter?” ……. Then the other voice says “Shuttup brain she is hot, funny, cool, and porn stars are younger than this. What were you doing at 21 banging….so Shuttup”

    In the end the conservative side always wins out…….lol. I was intimate with my previous SB who looked a little older she was as aggressive as a lion in heat I don’t think I could have not slept with her……lol. It’s cool we can’t all be cooks in the kitchen. Sorta like sky diving I thought I’d love it couldn’t stop thinking about it………you couldn’t pay me to do it again!!!!

  282. DorkyGuy says:

    @Zoey Amber~ I would go a step further. If you have a paragraph stating that you expect money on the first date, then the guy feels justified going into it expecting sex on the first date. This condition of yours may be encouraging escort-oriented guys to contact you, and discouraging SB-oriented guys from contacting you.

  283. DorkyGuy says:

    @Southern_SD~ Does she ever make advances to become more physical with you? Does she initiate touch (ie touching your arm, holding your hand, etc)? Does she dress provocatively for you? If so, these are cues that she is into you. If you are not making any physical moves on her, then she is under no pressure to do these things… She is doing them because she wants to.

  284. DorkyGuy says:

    “So far the only SD’s I came across are those looking for escorts which seems a little messed up. :/

    I actually had to put a paragraph in my profile that SD’s are expected to pay for my time, no pay no meet up. Kind of silly I had to do that on SA..” ~Zoey Amber

    @Zoey~ Those two sentences appear to conflict with each other, and set up diametrically opposed expectations. Doesn’t charging money for a first meet feel a little escortish? I mean, how difficult is it to sit down for coffee to see if you have chemistry before either side starts producing expectations?

    There are lots of quality SDs that will not pay (other than gas money) for a first meet, but provide a generous allowance if there is chemistry and an arrangement is reached.

    @Jenniebug~It really isn’t hard to write a good SB profile.

    “I am DDF. I do not like thoughtful gifts. I refuse to allow you to be concerned about my orgasm. After having sex with you, I will wash your car, paint your house, do your laundry, itemize your business expenses, and pass your number around to my hot friends telling them you are the best lay I have ever had.”

    Why is it I never see that profile? 😛

  285. Tina says:

    @Southern_SD: I know how you feel on the younger person issue – I just can’t date younger men because they just feel like younger brothers to me. And that’s with me not even HAVING a little brother!

    I would just like to say though that SBs are with their SDs because they WANT to be, not because they are getting help. I’m on here because, at this time in my life, traditional dating just isn’t something that I want. I have my own income, and have my own goals. I’m looking for a SD to help me out in ways OTHER than financial, and there are SBs out there looking for that as well.

    When you’re in a relationship, regardless of why type, aren’t you always looking for what the other person can bring to the table?

    Just food for thought.

  286. Southern_sd says:

    @Amy that sounds awesome!!! I definitely could not provide my SB with all of that……I agree with the sentiments that if it starts to feel (weird) take care of yourself first!!

    My SB and I hung out this weekend and we had a blast comedy show, nice dinners, looked at exotic pets, a freelance photography gallery, I had sent her orchids this week setting up the weekend for success……… but alas its still way awkward for me. No matter how much I try to mentally wrap my head around it….I can’t. It’s funny I thought the hanging out part would be harder and the physical part easy………100% not the case. We hang out like butter on bread…..I just can’t look at her sexually once I’m with her. Even after some drinks its like there is a mental block. She has texted me 4 times today saying “You are the coolest guy!! You are so much fun…I can’t believe it 😉 You are soooo different!!”…….. Etc etc.

    I’ve decided this isn’t for me. I need to know the person I’m with is with me because they want to be……not because I’m helping them … Ad to that the she is 21 I’m mid 30’s makes it too obvious to my brain that this is not what appears. I don’t know how I’m gonna tell her this though ;( I’m still all for helping her with advice and input ..I’m sure I’ll think of something!!

    Best of luck to ALL!!!!!!!!!

  287. Tina says:

    @Jessie: Awww MAN! I missed another Captain Flypaper appearance? DANG IT! My stupid allergies have me down for the count, and I sound like a prepubescent boy at the moment, so sleep is my main priority when I’m not working. DANG YOU FLYPAPER!

  288. Tina says:

    @Jennibug: AhHA! Now I’m onto you! Your plan is to find all a great SD, so that everyone with the power to stop your world domination is either too busy being infatuated with their SB to stop you, or so grateful that they help finance (or any other assistance needed) your nefarious plan!

    Oh you bad, bad girl! 😉

    And I think Stormcat is in on it too…..hmmmmm…..he’s the willing pawn to your scientific research…..heads being surgically altered an all…..

  289. PrinceCharming says:


    As you mentioned at the start of this blog, you’ve got a plan for world domination! Being a simple pawn, I don’t understand this plan, but somehow a start of writing profile updates ends with you ruling the earth. Given your blog name, I’m hoping this somehow involves a legion of women in sexy pirate costumes.

  290. @SDGuru- I’m actually extremely happy with stormy’s generosity. However, it doesn’t mean that a girl can’t still be highly ambitious.

  291. Zoey Amber says:

    This is my second time on this website. Hopefully, something comes of it this time.

    So far the only SD’s I came across are those looking for escorts which seems a little messed up. :/

    I actually had to put a paragraph in my profile that SD’s are expected to pay for my time, no pay no meet up. Kind of silly I had to do that on SA..

  292. Amy says:

    I hear you and thanx Nwsugarbaby.

  293. Nwsugarbaby says:

    @Amy. My college major is very similar to yours although I can’t disclose it on the blog. Its good that they truly are helping provide opportunities for you beyond just financially. Anyways just wanted to tell you good luck with everything. Any major relating to science especially the environment is incredibly important to our future.

  294. Amy says:

    SD yes “they” supply me with a very nice furnished apartment on the Gold Coast, all costs like phone and electricity included. In addition they provide me with shopping money when we travel, generally $500 per day and they purchase me gifts on a regular basis. I also receive a sunstantial monthly allowance which from what I have heard would put many other SD’s to shame, all the money apart from the shopping allowance goes straight into the bank. As my SD’s are well connected they have arranged on the job training with a few different companies in my qualified field of Environmental Science (I have an undergrad degree) which will all help when I proceed to my Masters.

  295. NYG says:

    Sorry I did not understand.
    You wrote “my SD” it means you did have intimate meetings before, but you did not receive anything except the flowers?
    and know he is going to your city to meet you again?
    sorry … just did not get what is the situation.

    • SD Guru says:

      I do everything to keep him HAPPY but still he haven’t giving to any of are arrangement nor add to the BOWL.

      If I understood your post correctly then I’m not sure why you call him your SD. Has he provided any sugar to become your SD? If not, then agreeing to see him again is just rewarding bad behavior. Don’t continue to waste your time with him, go find yourself a SD who can deliver.

      There should be mutual respect and admiration and an understanding of each others wants and needs discussed before anything else comes into play. Maybe I’m wrong?

      You’re not wrong. You should blame those men for treating you with less than gentlemanly behavior. Some men think they can get away with anything because the SB’s let them. Screen relentlessly so that when you get to a meeting you’ll have a better chance for a good experience.

      on about the third date he told me he wanted to share me with his Co Director (male)

      That’s a very interesting scenario! It sounds like you have not one but two SD’s, so are you getting an allowance from both? I hope safe sex is practiced by all! :)

      Probably self serving, but if he is married he is probably going to lie to you too.

      Considering there are several married SD’s in the blog, that is very self serving indeed! 😉

      If anyone wants a well constructed profile…. PayPal me $1000 and I’ll write one for you.

      I guess the allowance you got from Stormypoo wasn’t enough?? :mrgreen:

  296. Jessie says:

    @Pebbles – I wish you the best of luck, and I hope everything turns out well for you. But if it doesn’t, I have a feeling you’ll be a-okay ;).

  297. Pebbles says:

    Absolutely I made it clear. I enjoyed our time together but not what I sign up for.
    He still wishes to meet.

  298. Jessie says:

    @Dorky – I’m thinking it’s because you’re in costume tonight. Super heroes DO NOT like to be treated like floor mats :).

    @Pebbles – If in this meeting you cannot reach an agreement about your allowance please walk. Don’t accept any excuse. He signed up on SA. He knows how this game is played. You don’t need to hold his hand as he recovers from “amnesia.” And BTW when I say an agreement about your allowance, I mean in hand…not an excuse that you’ll get it the next time, because he didn’t travel with enough cash etc.

  299. Pebbles says:

    Evening, Sugars
    I appreciate ALL your help!!!!
    I made the call the my SD about his visit. It is only to meet with me.
    So I set-up a meeting for noon in a Public location will keep you Updated

  300. DorkyGuy says:

    @NYG~ You are right… Most things about women, I will never understand! Your mystery is what keeps us guys so mesmerized, and usually bewildered!

    @Jessie~ I do have a feisty bone 😛 See, what happens when you softball them in like that? I just couldn’t help but take a swing 😛

  301. Jessie says:

    @Dorky – LOL. Who knew you had a feisty bone in you…hahahaha.

    I too would like to see the rule…preferably written in red…if not I might tend to overlook it, as I’ve done in the past ;).

  302. NYG says:

    Oh… Dorky.
    You would not do MMF – you are so old fashion and so closed minded .
    Kidding , kidding :)
    U know me.
    and I know You, Dorky. – Lydia – Dorky is one of the sweetest and kindest guys in here.
    (I did not say one of the SDs since I do not know if he is SD )

    Btw, Dorky , did u find a girl/SB?

  303. NYG says:

    U r funny … How you can “completely understand a girl’ desire …”
    you have an Y chromosome ;
    You can not COMPLETELY understand any sexual female desire.:)

  304. DorkyGuy says:

    @Lydia… Never said it was about me. I was evidently under the wrong impression that the topic of mmf was open for discussion in a *general* sense. I had no idea that the blog had rules requiring me to converse only about a specific person. If you can please point me to that rule, I will be glad to oblige in the future. My apologies to all for straying outside of blog decorum.

  305. Lydia Bennett says:

    since when was Amy’s topic about YOU?? just sayin…
    and i dont seem to recall any details about the mmf mfm fmm whatever, either..
    see what i mean by messy, darling?

  306. Flyr says:

    I have been dating SB’s for some time with time off here and there.

    My first is to sense the behavior on the first meeting. Is he looking for someone to have as a pet, arm candy to impress others, someone to make him feel big by pushing them down or someone who will take joy in your success.

    As I have mentioned to a number of female friends, if he does not hold the car door open for you or wait for you to go ahead when you go through a building door , don’t be surprised if he is pretty unconcerned about you when the lights are dim.

    I have had SB’s where there was an arrangement and others where there was an understanding that I would help them but without specificity. For some that’s comfortable and works well and for others it’s uncomfortable and does not work. What’s not reasonable is when neither happens.as in the case of Pebbles. When something similar happened I wrote a note to the effect that I had a great time and perhaps left without talking with her, she mentioned she was worried about the tires on her SUV and I worried about her so I had made arrangements for her to get new tires at the local shop. It was the start of a 3 year relationship

    I really agree with the comment that in some cases a sd can do a lot more for you than anything you would ask for. But it comes from picking the right one and nurturing that type of relationship. That does not get the SD off the hook from providing green help (unless he is getting your a leading role in a pic)

    I forgot the name of the poster so far back whose SD was looking at her documents. First, were the tables reversed I would not leave them out. Second , she learned something about her sd that’s priceless, he needs to be recycled.

    Probably self serving, but if he is married he is probably going to lie to you too.

    I’ll end with a question. If your potential SD mentioned that he would like you to critique his review of She Comes First would you be grossed out or think that he gets it.

  307. DorkyGuy says:

    MFM… a hypothetical possibility. MMF… not even with a gun to my head

  308. Amy says:

    Thanks guys, I am not saying it is right for everyone but it is working for me at the moment and in fact it is exciting. I am puting away quite a bit of money and progressing in specialist courses in my field before I take on my Masters. I hope all you Babies receive the attention and care I am. Take special care

  309. PrinceCharming says:


    I’m right there _without_ you, guy! I’ve always been a bit turned off by a history of doing that if my exes have shared it, I think it’s better to omit that from the list if it’s happened unless guy is really clear he likes that and is OK not being the first time. No judgement @ Amy, this is just one of those unfair double standards guys have in their heads.

  310. DorkyGuy says:

    I can completely understand any girl’s desire to experience MMF… but I am not going to be part of the sandwich!

  311. NYG says:

    Lydia and Amy
    Strange I did not get such a request ; only a lot requests about threesome with 2 girls MFF.
    I guess this guy is not possessive and good at sharing.

    Thank you for sharing Amy.

  312. NYG says:

    to Amy.
    + 100

  313. Lydia Bennett says:

    @Amy well done for having the courage to mention this MMFon the blog..So, as long as you are comfortable and have the appetite for this much “attention” I say..wow..lucky girl..but as soon as you feel a power shift somehow between any combo of the 3 of you..look after self. Take a moment and ask yourself..”is this ok for my own wellbeing right now?”
    purely because there are “thinking and feeling” human beings involved, its bound to get messy (many different scenarios)..so enjoy it only while its safe, healthy and respectful wrt all involved.

  314. Amy says:

    Well I have only been a Sugar Baby a short while, in fact a friend of mine drew my attention to it so I registered on this site and had quite a few email contacts from Sugar Daddies then phones contact and quite a few dates. One guy I met was nice, fit, generous and sort of demanding in a way but he has been amazing, on about the third date he told me he wanted to share me with his Co Director (male) and thus in such a short time they pay for everything and share me sometimes separately and often together. Yes 3 way sex and it is amazing for sure and something I would never have thought of doing before but now it is so natural. What do I do, I keep fit, look my best I can in and out of clothes and study more when I can. They take me on trips and while they are in meetings I shop and model for them when they get home. I guess thats a bit different than a lot of Babies get.

  315. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!
    Crazy week for me… Hope everyone is having a great Saturday!

    Pebbles~ First, Welcome to the blog! As for your so called SD, Did he ever give you an allowance? did you talk allowance and arrangement details? If not, you should have the talk or move on. Simple as that. You have to be straight and honest. Tell him what you want etc… and see where it goes, if he says lets talk when we meet, I wouldn’t go… It seems more like a booty call than anything, just my 2 cents…

  316. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    @pebbles the best approach is to be honest. Tell him that he’s not sticking to the original arrangement and eventhough you enjoy the time you spend with him he has to understand you did enter into an arrangement. Tell him you would love to continue but if he can’t stick to the agreement you are forced to end things. Say it with a straight face and mean it. He’ll either honor the agreement or accept your absence.

  317. Jessie says:

    @Pebbles – Is he coming tomorrow just to see you, or will it be a business trip? You need to have this conversation BEFORE he gets there. Find out what his intentions are….is he willing to be a SD or is he just looking for a part-time lover? If you’ve been together for six months you must have talked about what type of arrangement/allowance you want. If he’s not living up to his end of the deal then you DON’T have an arrangement.

  318. PrinceCharming says:


    I think your own message answers this, if you don’t have an arrangement after 6 months, you really don’t have an arrangement! Nice for him to expect attention after six months with no sugar, don’t you think? As a SD, if I am dating someone traditionally I am going to see them far more than once every three months, LD or not. The one IRL LD relationship I had I don’t think we ever got past 6 weeks without one traveling to meet the other.

    I’d just go looking for another arrangement and move on, and if you contacts you, tell him you’ve moved on due to lack of contact/sugar, since he’s clearly not taking care of you. SD or boyfriend, this doesn’t cut it, and I think he’d take advantage of a traditional dating situation to do even less, but maybe I’m just being cynical.

  319. Pebbles says:

    Hello Sugars
    I need you help!!
    I have to dump My SD tomorrow and cant think of a kind way to do it.
    we’ve seen each other for 6months. Long distant arrangement, We last got together around Dec.15
    I sent him a Xmas gift. and moved on. I was sent Valentine’s Day flowers with a note .
    I contact him hoping to leave a massage telling him thanks but I moved on. He answered!!!
    Wanting to visit misses me so I agreed to see him for the weekend. He is a Doctor in PA.
    I live in FL. I do everything to keep him HAPPY but still he haven’t giving to any of are arrangement nor add to the BOWL.
    any advice
    P.S. if I as in a traditional dating I may not mind

  320. BeautifullySweeetSB says:

    @PrinceCharming thank you so much. I really appreciate it. *Bows to the Prince in a floor length pink Cinderella dress*

  321. PrinceCharming says:


    Your profile is actually pretty well written already, I think I might put a few more things about what you offer to the SD (ie a few more statements about how you’ll give SD the best backrubs he’s ever had, etc, lol) and defintely get a full-length body shot in there. You might want to switch out a couple of the pics where the lighting isn’t that favorable for better ones, you’ve got one solid pic and a couple where you can’t see your face or the lighting color is off. But actually I would change very little in the profile itself, it’s not bad at all.

  322. PrinceCharming says:


    Cruise? Let’s rent an island!


    I knew it was a bad deal, but it wasn’t until the blog that I’ve discovered just HOW bad. Given the situation I think her effective allowance should have been half, not double lol.

    I have one pic, but they’re private. if you message me I’ll turn on private view.

  323. BeautifullySweeetSB says:

    @NYG thank you :)

  324. NYG says:


    I thought you should change your name to YoungSantaClauseSD.
    Since you invested 35K in 20 meetings with your ex SB.:)

    PC but you do not have your pictures at your profile? (if I am not mistaken).

  325. DorkyGuy says:

    Hey Anna, having a great weekend :-) Some friends from chess club are coming over to play Dungeons and Dragons tonight.

    Our game night last Saturday was a bust, because it turned into a heated argument over whether it was possible to make a 21 sided die. Edgar then lit the fuse by suggesting that the optimal shape for a die is spherical. Chaos ensued.

    Tonight will be fun though, because we are all arriving in costume. I do know how to party 😉

  326. NYG says:

    I like your dimples :)

  327. Alright pc- well have to orginize a blog cruise with the money we get from composing profiles thoug…

  328. Nawty Molly says:

    Hi everyone! 😀

    I hope everyone is having a good weekend!

  329. PrinceCharming says:


    Sure, just give me a profile number or send me (notafrog) a message.

    PS: Jenniebug, I’ll share a cut of the proceeds with you!

  330. BeautifullySweeetSB says:

    oh you need my profile number right? lol its 925577. Thank you in advance!

  331. BeautifullySweeetSB says:

    @PrinceCharming would you please review my profile and give me some tips on how to fix it? It would be greatly appreciated :)

  332. That’s it! If anyone wants a well constructed profile…. PayPal me $1000 and I’ll write one for you.

  333. PrinceCharming says:

    @NYG, BeautifullySweeetSB

    I think several of us SDs have given writing hints to SBs that have asked — I know I’ve done that for at least one SB on the blog, along with photo tips, and she has a much nicer profile now.

  334. BeautifullySweeetSB says:

    @NYG you and me both. I guess I never thought to ask for help. I wonder would any of our very helpful SD’s be willing to help us on our profiles? Gives puppy dog eyes and pouty lips

  335. NYG says:

    Our blog SDs are so helpful to view profiles…:)
    I only wish they would write a good profile for me.

  336. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    Thanks for all the profile views and comments. I tried to reply to everyone individually, if I missed you, thanks for the view :)

  337. NYG says:

    Educated women ARE empowered women.

    Knowledge (not only formal education ) empower girls in many ways.!

    By getting educating your have more chances, better opportunities in the future – to get a better job, to get a better boy friend (at your college even), better husband.

    “you educate a woman you educate a family ”
    Coz educated mothers would make sure their kids read books, have right goals, go to good schools etc. ; if a mother speak 3 languages more likely her kids would speak more than one language…

    Of course there are a few ways to be educated, intelligent . Formal college education is only one of them;
    Plus self education (through books, smart friends…), through traveling etc.
    of course there people who are naturally have higher IQ;

    it is always nature VS nurture endless arguments.

  338. NYG says:

    SDinLA much more smarter and humorous and sharp witted than this profile.
    He would not have such a boring , dry assistant.

  339. BeautifullySweeetSB says:

    @butterfly i totally get where you’re coming from. I recently had my first real meet with a pot SD and he was a p4p which is totally not what i’m looking for. I’m not looking forward to meeting picture collectors or even talking to them but we can’t really avoid them since they come with the territory, i guess we just have to learn how to weed out the bad. Kind of sucks though.

  340. butterfly says:

    Well, I have had some trouble on here as well as one good arrangement. I find that there are sooo many flakes or time wasters though! I have met up with one that once he got what he wanted, basically told me he could only “afford” to meet up with me one time a month….when before he said my allowance preference was fine.
    Some guys just flake out once it’s time to meet, some try and “haggle” with you over price which is degrading and insulting…they clearly don’t want a real sd/sb relationship, just straight up p4p sex. I also don’t live in a huge city like L.A so there are limited men (Toronto) Or they ask you for a million pictures which is annoying.

  341. Charis says:

    A toast to you all for the weekend. “There are no strangers here only friends you haven’t met”.

  342. Tina says:

    @Dorky: or is that what his horse does? Or is that Spot? I get so corn-fused 😉

  343. Tina says:

    I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend. I’m off to the rodeo on Sunday! (As long as I don’t end up getting sick……)

  344. DorkyGuy says:

    @NYG~ I am pretty sure that is SDinLA’s profile.

    I would not be surprised learn that his personal assistant writes all of his blog posts for him

  345. Charis says:

    @Grasshopper- Honey Mesquite it is!

    @BeautifullySweetSB – I agree. This is my second time through college and I think it was a bigger dose of reality this time than the first time, the “real world” has changed so dramatically. I feel like I’m starting out into the world for the first time all over again, and everything I was so sure I know all about I discovered I know nothing at all. :{

  346. Grasshopper says:

    @Charis – the honey mesquite sounds de-lish!!!

  347. BeautifullySweeetSB says:

    Currently being a college student I agree that college doesn’t make you any better than anyone else. But they give young teens this false conception that if you attend college you will make tons of money. While that could be true for many college students that is not always the case for others. College will not guarantee that you will make a lot of money or give you a great job, it just allows you to have a better opportunity. My freshman year at orientation they told me to look around because everybody wasn’t going to graduate. College was like a reality to me and a fight to survive in this world. It really made me appreciate the things I took for granted before. I realized that things are earned not given.

  348. Charis says:

    @Grasshopper – would that bbq be southern or honey mesquite? your choice of course.;-D
    @Dorkyguy – the smartest businessman I know has had 14 sucessfull businesses and never graduated from high school. And it’s never too late to go to college even if its just a couple of courses for shits and giggles :O

  349. DorkyGuy says:

    I would really love to do college someday. I love to learn, I want to set the example for my kids, and what better excuse to hang out with coeds? 😛

  350. DorkyGuy says:

    @Grasshopper ~. I have no college education, and have done pretty well.

    However, not everyone has the personality, drive, or persistence to make it as an entrepreneur. I am kicking both of my kids ass to get them through college.

    I would really love to do college s

  351. Grasshopper says:

    @PhoneGuy – You coming to my rescue is pretty effing HAWT ;P

  352. PhoneGuy says:

    So…Grasshopper…where did that come from?
    Do we need to organize a posse and go smack some mean person around?

  353. Grasshopper says:

    ::roasts Charis…looks for bbq sauce::…lol 😉

  354. Charis says:

    @Grasshopper – I agree, I have personally met people who learned nothing in all their years of schooling except that they were better than others because they were them. Personally, the more education I receive the more I realize how little I know and how unimportant I am in the “Grand Scheme”. It is a humbling experience.

    Ironically my to greatest heros, my Father and Abraham Lincoln, were self educated, brilliant and known for downplaying their intellegence because of their lack of formal education.

    However, for all the downfall of the “educated asshole” they are perhaps at least being true to themselves in their own context.

    So now I’ve gone over the top and made myself another “educated asshole”. Open invitation to roast me :-)

  355. Grasshopper says:

    For alll those snobs that think a person’s worth depends on how much formal education they have under their belt…and for those who are so closed minded, they continue to judge things and people based SOLEY on what lies on the surface – I suggest you go to the website below.

    collegedropoutshalloffame dot com

    Formal education doesn’t guarantee the recipient a good character, decency or common sense. IMHO, if an asshole goes to college/university, they just end up being an asshole that thinks they have something to brag about. Some “formally educated” people never become enlightened human beings because they think their “education” makes up for everything else – WRONG! Those people refuse to see the BIG PICTURE..they refuse to put things in perspective when it comes to what is TRULY important in The Grand Scheme of Life. I dare say that THOSE types of people live with an immense emptiness in their souls….What a hell of a way to exist in this life..::smh::

  356. Charis says:

    Thank you also to you other who have offered support and encouragement, it helps to know you’re not alone.

  357. Charis says:

    @Dorkyguy- Thank you so much I will definately work on those pics. I was wondering if there is anything you could suggest in the wording that might help. I’ve been reading other SB profiles and I want to avoid the “spoil me/pamper me” wording, for my style it seems selfish (no offense intended to anyone, I’d like to be spoiled too but I believe in giving as good as you get)

    I think I could give as much of my talents and abilities to my sugardaddy as he is in possible mentoring and financial consideration, especially in legal and business matters.

  358. PhoneGuy says:

    @NYG, a fake, non-paying account that can’t send or receive email with no pictures and minimal text shouldn’t fool too many SBs.

  359. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    Good morning sugar world!!! How is everyone today? Looking over the blog comments I think it’s pretty cool that you helped @Charis with her profile. I’ve been on the site about 3 weeks. My responses have been pretty steady. Look at my profile and see what I can do to make it better. 904271.

  360. NYG says:

    Guys I came across this profile 877476.

    I think it is fake, it is blue, it is written in a very simple language (I mean I know some female assistants of big guys – they write/ speak amazingly ); and I’d u r a big guy and married would you trust anyone even your paid assistant to hire a SB? (may be you will fire the assistant in a few years and she can black mail you for the rest of your live?)

    And Dorky I can not believe my eyes – you recomended to “create a fake SD account ” to a SB. Yes, like it is not enouh fakes in here. Lol.

  361. NYG says:

    Dorky and NC gent.
    Who are you talking to?


    to Charis.
    sometimes it is discouraging … No answers for 4-5 days, and then all the sudden you get a few mails
    in your box and a few e mail. as Giru says a SB has to have thick skin and be patient :) SDs too
    (I guess).

  362. NC Gent says:

    Bill — maybe “uneducated, bottom feeders” are the type of SBs that you attract? All of my SBs have been college educated… the first one went to an Ivy League school, and the last one was working on her second Masters when I was seeing her.

  363. DorkyGuy says:

    Most SDs are college educated, and many SBs are doing this to get through college.

    Is it possible that your assessment of the cumulative education level of the members of this blog could be influenced by a personal bias?

  364. Bill says:

    You are uneducated, bottom feeders. But you are hot.

  365. Emma says:

    How is everyone tonight?

  366. Tina says:

    Frank: have things started working themselves out for you? I hope your situation has started calming down a bit , and that you’re happy with the choices that you have made :)

  367. frank says:

    Excellent advice Dorkyguy. This is a very helpful blog!

  368. Tina says:

    @Dorky: you don’t have to create a fake SD profile to see SBs, you can browse similar profiles and see them that way.

    Wait, do I hear crickets? Grassy, is that you? (hopeful smile) Oh, no, guess it’s just the blog dying for the moment :(

  369. Tina says:

    @BeautifullySweet: when wearing the pink cape with the @ symbol on it, DorkyGuy turns into his alter ego Captain Flypaper! And, his arch enemy may pop in from time to time, SDinLAs Evil Twin (another entity attached to SDinLA that needs a name)

  370. DorkyGuy says:

    Nah, she is a long-time friend though. She had good success leveraging her organizational skills into SB/Personal Assistant arrangements.

  371. Michael Alleycat says:

    I think you are very perceptive and intuitive in your comments. Nothing more to add to what you said.

    But wait – weren’t you one of the SDs of the woman you mentioned?

  372. DorkyGuy says:

    Michael Alleycat, what do you think?

  373. Michael Alleycat says:

    Nicely said DorkyGuy

  374. DorkyGuy says:

    @Charis~ Regarding people not reading your mail… that is why that profile photo is so important. When they see your mail, they also see your profile photo. They are making a flash judgement on you and not reading your mail because they don’t like the photo.

    Looking at your other photos, particularly the one in rennaisance garb, I believe you can take an inviting photo. But if you want to get replies, improving your main profile photo needs to be job numero uno.

  375. DorkyGuy says:

    @Charis~ I think many guys on here are looking for college coeds. It is going to be harder for someone who doesn’t fit that “type”, and require more patience. There are people with all kinds of “types” here though, so all is not lost. I know a woman similar to you who has had several successful SD relationships.

    A couple of things… First, your main profile photo.. doesn’t look very inviting or approachable. How about a smile! Perhaps even looking into the camera. Try to connect with the person reading your profile. Your photo in rennaisance garb would be pretty good if you were smiling in it.

    Your subject “would you like to play god and create a meteor”… I don’t understand what that means. Whatever it is you were driving at, it lost me. Since that is the first thing that people read, you want a line that connects more.

    Create a fake SD profile so that you can browse the SBs. Look at what they are doing. In particular, look at the SBs who are featured. What kind of subject lines do they put? What do you like/not like about their profile text? Any ideas you can steal?

  376. Charis says:

    @dorkyguy Thank you. I don’t recall putting a website or hyperlink in my post. Also all of the ones I have emailed are orange, they just don’t read my emails. I received one approach from a SD and replied the next day, he never read the reply. Is this because my profile is Blue?

    @Michael Alleycat my profile # is 777255. I’d appreciate any help I can get, Thank you

  377. Michael Alleycat says:

    Hello all!! Another beautiful day in Arizona… have I missed much?

    Charis – what is your profile #? We can have a look at it and give you our comments.

  378. BeautifullySweeetSB says:

    @DorkyGuy puts on pink cape and prepares for flight lol

  379. DorkyGuy says:

    Charis, 2 things…

    If you post a comment that includes a hyperlink or a website, it is moderated and doesn’t appear. (They really ought to have that stated somewhere).

    Second, if they guy has a profile that is colored “blue” that means he is not a paying member and cannot reply to your emails. Stick with the guys who have profiles colored orange or black.

  380. Charis says:

    I’m looking for some help. I’ve been on SA since November and I’m getting no where, minimal views, no contacts and no responses to the emails I’ve sent out (most of them go unread). I’ve read all the blogs and How to colums and still can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong. Is there an Invisible status that can be put on you or something?
    I even posted on this blog earlier today and it still hasn’t shown in the comments. Am I missing something?

  381. DorkyGuy says:

    @BeautifullySweeetSB~ You are officially my hero 😉

  382. BeautifullySweeetSB says:

    If i’m correct @Stormcat is @captainJenniebugMorgan’s SD and you guys are in a SD/SB relationship right? My apologies if i’m really late on this. lol

  383. DorkyGuy says:

    Note to self… Next time a girl offers to give head, double-check that she isn’t being literal.

  384. PhoneGuy says:

    @Stormcat, which body is Jenniebug petting? 😉

  385. DorkyGuy says:

    jenniebug: What do you think of my boobs?

    Stormy the Tiger: They’re Grrrrreat!

  386. Stormcat says:

    It is a major medical advance . . . Jennibaba has performed the first head transplant. I now have the body of a tiger. and my ex body now has the tiger’s head!

  387. PhoneGuy says:

    Alas poor Stormypoo, I knew him well…

  388. @dorkyguy- umm… the ones with the two eyes and two ears!

  389. NC Gent says:

    Welcome to the blog, NikkiV! Try reading the sugar dating tips on the upper right hand side of this page. Best wishes in your search!

  390. Grasshopper says:

    @DorkyGuy – forward that taxidermist’s number..I have a beaver than needs to be stuffed.

  391. DorkyGuy says:

    You could take his head to a taxidermist and have it stuffed. I know an amateur taxidermist, who specializes in stuffing beavers.

  392. DorkyGuy says:

    Being an outdoors-man, I think Stormy would object to having his head thrown into a freezer. The best way to preserve it is to salt it heavily and hang it in the smokehouse.

  393. Grasshopper says:

    Wow..that last post was just so disturbing in so many ways…

  394. Stormcat says:

    Wow it feels so dark here suddenly. I get the feeling like a rooster with his head cut off! But I’m having a great time regardless.

  395. DorkyGuy says:

    Which head? 😛

  396. Stormcat says:

    Well, after stormy almost killed me in the car on the way back to his place… I choppep off his head and threw it in the freezer. I would be more then happy to pull it out and sew it back onto his body so he can post.
    ~Captain Jenniebug Morgan….

  397. Honey says:

    It can be a thing of luck,but luck favors the prepared! What are you bringing to the table! Market yourself to your audience. Have the confidence to be yourself and don’t be afraid to say no if it seems to god to be true on the first meeting. Don’t be a victim, always use your head.And don’t put out on the first date…..seriously.

  398. NC Gent says:

    Just for clarification, I said it had been 8 months since I had an SB, I had only been looking for 2 of those months. Nonetheless, it took me about 6 months to find my second and third SBs. Expect to kiss a few frogs and for it to take a good 3-6 months… took me one day to find my first one though, so your luck may vary, but you also become more picky the longer you are in this, from my experience.

  399. DorkyGuy says:

    Welcome back, Honey!

    Seems like I have hardly had a chance to check the blog lately… been so busy. Hope everyone is doing well.

  400. Honey says:

    Just asking, phone guy, been busy off the board. Welcome…welcome everyone! and hi again!

  401. PhoneGuy says:

    Hey, I’m not the first one to use that. 😉
    I would say 1/2 an SB is where I have invested significant time/money/effort in a girl but we never end up in an arrangement.

  402. Charis says:

    I’m new here too. I started in November, I read all the blogs and advice before I signed up so I thought I had a pretty good handale on how things work. However, I have only had 49 views, one contact (I replied and the guy fell off the face of the planet), and the majority of emails I have sent are not even being read, so what am I doing wrong? Anyone willing to help me here?

  403. Honey says:

    What’s a 1/2 sugarbaby PhoneGuy?

  404. Nikkiv says:

    Hi everyone,

    I’m also new to this.Im a 19 year old student. Any advice?

  405. BeautifullySweeetSB says:

    I’m still in the process of being patient. I’ve been on this site for about two months and still no luck really. I’ve been getting hits on another site but the men aren’t really SD’s, just men looking for a naive girl to pay for sex. Since the other website doesn’t really have guidelines like SA does the men are outrageous and disrespect the SB’s like it’s acceptable. I really hope I find a wonderful SD soon.

  406. NYG says:

    It was NC gent .

    (remember everything I read , my curse)

  407. PhoneGuy says:


    Not I. I don’t have that kind of patience. I’ve been on the site about 6 or 7 months and have had about 1.5 SBs.

  408. NYG says:

    Not only I sound sexy; I do everything sexy.

    if I sound sexy ask Stormy (while Jennie is on the plane and can not post here:)
    He might answer you.

    Blog Gods please delete this my post before Jennie lands and gets WiFi:))

    but seriously, Jennie then u land let us have Bloody Mary at St. Regis on Manhattan, would be fun if u r not too busy .

  409. EssCee says:

    Thanks for the encouragement, VictoriaNoSecret :) I think as I spend more time observing others in action (albeit on the blogosphere), I’ll learn more about this world and eventually find my niche. Then it will be about finding the SD who wants to snuggle up in the nook with me 😉

  410. NYG says:

    To Guru.

    First of all Guru and Midwest please stop hiding,
    please pretty please come out even if u r all sweaty and tired . :)

    Guru wanted to add to the list of exotic desires , got it a few weeks ago, the bad thing is I deleted it from my mail box, so can not copy/post , have to write it now myself as good as I can.

    So… The empowering request was …. about to invite a one more person She male (a girl who went to surgery and have a penis now, but still have her breasts) and She male would be
    Can not even write it on the blog, tried and can not, will drink and e mail you. :)

    Is it sick? Or I am so closed minded?

  411. Tina says:

    @Dee: First, welcome! I would definitely take a look at the help topics listed above. As far as finding the right arrangement for you, it just depends. You HAVE to be patient, and don’t go for any arrangement that you’re not comfortable with.

    As far as reaching out, the SDs here vary wildly on if they like it or not. If I were you, I would find a few profiles that interest you and start from there. I believe that some have had statistics (SDs and SBs) that they only hear from 1 out of 20, if not fewer.

    The biggest piece of advice is to BE PATIENT. Some have found a good arrangement in weeks, others it takes months. I believe (please correct me if I’m wrong) that Phone Guy has been looking for about 8 months for a SB that would fit his needs.

    I still wanna be like Midwest SB when I grow up. I miss her *sniff sniff* stupid midterms!

  412. Dee says:

    This is actually the first time I read on of these blog posts, and honestly I was most struck when I read through the comments section. There are real people here! haha.

    I think one of my problems starting out as a SB is the lack of support – I obviously can’t discuss the ups and down of Sugarbaby-dom with my parents and my current friends would probably think I were crazy.

    Anyway, hi to everyone. It makes me feel better just to see you all here, talking, sharing experiences.

    This sounds childish, but, how long do I have to wait before I find a “good” SD? There are so many women on this site, I don’t even know if my profile is getting more than a few views a week. Should I be more proactive? Reaching out more?

    Any advice or insight would be appreciated!

  413. Honey says:

    Hello all! I love geeks,been dating lots of them my whole life.Love the new topic! So timely, so true, apt, even…
    Back from Singapore and Malaysia. Doing self-empowerment things….
    Any of my Houstonian sugarbabes wanna meet for lunch?

  414. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    @EssCee I looked at your profile and you come across as a pretty bright woman. The negotiation process maybe a little intimidating but remember to never agree to an amount you aren’t comfortable with or any part of the arrangement that you aren’t comfortable with. If he is a real sd he will be able to express his desires and expectations for the arrangement and his budget. Follow your gut. I don’t have much experience with meeting sds on line but it’s the same process when you meet one in person.

  415. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: and who said those were my only search terms? Hmmmmm? A girl’s gotta have SOME secrets ya know!

  416. PhoneGuy says:

    I can’t wait to see what comes up when Tina searches on “role playing” and “games”. 😉

  417. Tina says:

    @ Prince Charming: I’ve actually found that I enjoy the company of “geeks”; I have someone that I can talking intellectually with, as well as diverge into something fun, like deciding on which of my Marvel Comic reusable shopping bags to use on a grocery trip! hehehehehehehe

  418. Tina says:

    @Prince Charming: ok I’ll come clean. I’m…..I’m…..I’m a geek. There. I said it. (holds head up high)

  419. PrinceCharming says:


    That would be a magnet for a certain class of SD, I am sure.

  420. Tina says:

    Hmmm, I may have to add “must have modern game console with latest action and/or role playing games” to my profile 😉

  421. PrinceCharming says:

    @Sdaddy, PhoneGuy

    I think keyword search would be a great addition. I’d be searching on “geek” and
    “likes retarded SDs”

  422. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: what, not “-entitled”? ;P

  423. PhoneGuy says:

    @Sdaddy, interesting…what would you search on? -princess? +travel? +”oral skills”? 😉

  424. Tina says:

    @VAGent: Wow, Guru is SD AND SB Guru?

    @Guru: I didn’t know you were so, uh, “versatile” 😉

  425. Tina says:

    @SDinLA: I can fake a “moose and squirrel” for ya! 😉 Might have a little southern twang to the Russian fake accent, I can’t promise anything. 😀

  426. Sdaddy says:

    The premium membership offer would be much more compelling if the site had a better search feature. Now, you can’t search now for anyone based on interests.

    The site is doing well enough that it should be able to manage an adequate keyword search feature.

  427. SDinLA says:

    @NYG What what what? What did I do? I think it is sexxxxayyyy when a Russian girl says “moose and squirrel.”

    When I was a little boy and watching cartoons like Rocky and Bullwinkle, Natasha Fatale was the only Russian spy femme fatale I knew. I wished I could be more like Boris Badenov.

    I bet you say one hell of a sexy “moose and squirrel” too. 😉

    Congratulations on Step 2. Only 38 more to go after it!

  428. EssCee says:

    Oh I’ve posted once before NYG lol, but thank you!

  429. NYG says:

    Stormy. Shame on you.

    SDinLA – this is how you welcome a new girl to our blog?

    Dorky. Whatever u do for Babydoll , but do Not post my profile in here. Lol.

    And pls congratulate me, today VA gent made a 2nd step of our 40 steps date program . :)
    Tomorrow is international women’ day March 8th, so I got my present; how thoughtful . :)

    I wish Midwest were here. She would help new girls.

  430. EssCee says:

    I did put on my profile what I’m looking for, but not a specific allowance. I think I need to find my confidence and not worry so much about insulting someone by asking for a specific number. I’m not looking for a 20K SD, as nice as that would be, I don’t expect it from anyone. Neither he nor I posted a specific amount, he did say that he was looking for NSA, which is great with me, I would like to use my time with him to enjoy myself and build a strong and lasting friendship, not a deep-seeded romantic connection. He wants to see me about once a week, and I’ll be traveling to see him.

    As I am, I can make ends meet. One way or another, I make it work. Haven’t fallen behind for any payments, not at risk of being foreclosed on, I’m not desperate for $$. What I WANT is to get out of debt as fast as humanly possible, so this, in essence, would be a way to supplement that. I’m going to get out of debt anyway, but if I can do it in 6 mos- 1 yr, I’d take that over 30 years any day. I’m in college, and work, and am a mom, so my time is precious. If I can spend my moments having a beautiful time with a gentleman SD instead of running on fumes at work after my kids kept me up all night and I had 3 exams and a presentation and now I have to go pretend to be happy for 10 hours in hopes that MAYBE someone will tip me more than 7% on their bill… I think that’s a win for everyone. My SD and I get to enjoy each other, I spend more time with my kids, my work doesn’t OVERwork me, and I have time to study for classes. So, while not a NEED, it would be an ideal way to supplement my income as I work to get to where I plan to be. And maybe a few pointers on how to get to the top, while we’re at it. That’d be SUPER :)

    I’m not sure if I entirely answered your question…did I? My profile is linked to my name, if that is of any good.

  431. PhoneGuy says:

    @EssCee, Even if he is a newb, he knows the conversation is coming. Does your profile have a range for your expectations? Hopefully he already has an idea of what you want/need. Just say you want to talk about expectations for the arrangement. He can go first or you can, it doesn’t really matter. The first person can say what they want/need. The other person can either agree or counter. The first person can either agree to the counter or make their own counter. You either come to an agreement or agree you want different things. It’s ok to let people know what you want. And it’s ok to want differen things.

  432. Va Gentleman says:


    What did you put on your profile about what you are looking for ? And what did he put on his ? That should give you an idea where to start . If both were “negociable ” then all bets are off . There are pages of blog material written about this and SBGuru has addressed this in his blog.
    In essence both of you will ask the other to go first , but I would ask him what sort of arrangement he has in mind since you determined that you would like to have one with him . If he won’t say than you tell him what you would like . Why don’t you tell us what you’d like and we will opine about it . Of course , if your Pot is on the blog as well it will alert him to your strategy .

  433. babydoll says:

    Boo! Posted twice didnt show up again!
    @dorky~please hepl,how come cant find NYG
    profile by number search?Infact cant search any!

  434. EssCee says:

    Question from a newbie. I’m finally meeting up with my first real pot SD for the second time. I’m new at this, and he is too, but he’s such a gentleman I think he’ll be just fine. The only thing is that it’s time to get the arrangement details hammered out and I have NO idea how to broach the subject or even talk about it. I’ve never been in a position to say “this is what I want,” so while empowering, it’s certainly scary for a first timer, plus I don’t want him to think I’m trying to take advantage of him, because I certainly am not aiming to. Any advice would be well received :):):)

  435. SDinLA says:

    @natascha If you promise to say “Moose and squirrel!” anytime I prompt you, I will gladly help you. 😉

    There are a lot of helpful articles and such linked on the right hand side at the top of this page.

  436. Stormcat says:

    Natascha ~ You should get to know NYG. She can clue you in and I suspect you two have other things in common as well!

  437. natascha says:

    So I just started because I want to be a an I just don’t kno how it works help me..

  438. NYG says:

    I am very happy for you.
    and you have to share your secret how to “clinch” a guy ‘ heart :)

    It is good your heart is in peace now with your SD.

  439. Hmm. Time to jump on a plane….

  440. AsianSB says:

    In fact, I had deleted my profile before him but I made sure that I save down his profile link and that the link will work if I had a dummy SB account. His account was always hidden from search as well. I just did a check with my dummy SB account, it says: THIS PROFILE HAS BEEN DELETED OR SUSPENDED. This man is sweet in every way, I couldn’t have asked for more. If it were for any other man, I would’ve been skeptical and done a thorough check on.

    And yes, if you can still access his profile from your mailbox then he hasn’t deleted his profile.

  441. DorkyGuy says:

    LOL~ @ Mark being the “Chuck Norris” of love…

    “Mark can’t watch Titanic on a date, because the iceberg always melts.”

  442. NYG says:

    May be I sounded wrong.
    I do believe your SD delited your account for you and you got his heart.

    (I just did not believe in my SD ). :)
    Although if someone has an annual membership it does expire one day. :) and then he get a new profile?

  443. babydoll says:

    All the screening gets bypassed and the flags that are obvious in a general population sense aren’t missed, rather they are flags that normally would have come up but don’t even get addressed

    @stormy~ i cant agree with you more on this.i think most are relaxed in the blogspere thta most cant oitn what was the truth i all and what is the half truth.
    bt i dont think we should generalize everyone as well,aas there are genuine bloggers here that are not after anything more than jest,friendly banter and giving out good advice. :)

    but i have noticed a lot of the good Sb bloggers (not undermining those who are here)
    were all not blooging lately and were the good ones who try to reach out to eole who are new here and in need of hel.and also,itis now more the Sd’s who happily give advice rather than the Sb bloggers to those who are in need of it.
    or maybe its just me.
    well, alot have been so lost in their own chatter the blog lose its essence in what the real reason it is here for.


    where are you girls all hiding?

    re empowerment~no one wants to be used and abused in any situation,try to be too clever here and you lose more than you anticipate.the only empowerment is …quite rightMs Bennett~is equality.

  444. NYG says:

    Cool avatar,
    And thank you for sharing. “he said he deleted” you have not check it?:)

    I know my d SD hid his profile ; no one can find him by nick name or account number but if I would go to my mail box I can see him from his old mails.
    (but he did not do it coz he decided to be with me, I would not be so naive and delusional, but
    just ” too many mails from too many girls he was getting” I think coz he did not post his income as low as Dorky for example , so a lot of greedy girls were attacking him).

  445. MidwestAnna says:

    @ Mia – Thank you so much!!!

  446. Mia says:

    To MidwestAnna~~ Best post ever.

  447. SouthernGent2 says:

    @Mimi – you sound like a very sharp girl that has it together. Hard to find that in your age category. I applaud your success.

  448. AsianSB says:

    Remember, the SD whom I was concerned with having an active profile? I met him over the weekend and he told me he had deleted his diamond member profile. By the way, I was lucky to have “clinched” his heart because it took him 2 months to finally decide on keeping me as an SB.

  449. NYG says:

    Lydia Bennett thank you.
    I can Not agree with this power/ empowering statements of the Brandon article. but may be I am just not smart enough to get it.

  450. Stormcat says:

    Lydia Bennett ~ Agreed. playing the power card is so manipulative and usually based on subterfuge. Do people actually want to bypass reality and move into a relationship based on manipulation? There is no such thing as balanced power. Nor is there any existance of equality. I actually think complementarity is the only real glue to successful relationships. I postulate that’s the real reason that sugar works so well.

  451. Stormcat says:

    Mimi ~ A 19 yo Junior, That’s quite impressive.

    LV Butterfly ~ Vegas is definitely unusual as a place to live. Eclectic excentricity!

  452. Mimi says:

    I feel empowered! I’m a 19 yrs old and a junior in college. My scholarship paid for that, but I still have other expenses too. Right now I’m working two jobs. Having a SD is not a “free ride”, it really is a way for me to network and make connections with men who are obviously doing something right with their money. Occasionally sex is involved, but I have the power to choose. If I went to the club and picked up a guy my own age, no one would feel weird about it. That’s how I see SA. I’m mingling with people worth my time, and to me, having the option to pick and choose like that is priceless. Some of these guys offer me more for one visit than I’d make in a weekend at work!

  453. LVbutterfly says:

    Thanks MWAnna…Vegas does suck in that manner so I’m kind of used to it and no worries…I don’t think blogging about him is really vengence…but I do hope he leaves the site so no one else gets caught up in his lies is…with that said…he is chalked up and I’ve already moved on…just wanted someone else’s take on it so much appreciation to everyone’s input so grazi!

  454. MidwestAnna says:

    @ LVButterfly – It sucks that you had to waste so much time, but it kind of goes with the territory when it comes to meeting strangers online, especially given your location. I would recommend against any kind of vengeful actions. There are plenty of fish in the sea. If I were you, I would chalk it up to bad luck and move on.

  455. LVbutterfly says:

    Thansks SD Guru. ..sigh…unfortunately living in Vegas can be good and bad as many come here just to cheat and so the escorts are a dime a dozen so it is not uncommon that they might find someone else the minute they get to the hotel/casinos. I don’t think he is a regular visitor to Vegas and this was just a one-time arrangement for as as far as I knew. He has already disappeared as I told him I was onto him so he hasn’t bothered to answer anymore texts other than telling me he was “pissed” that the airlines “stole” his money…LOL…fortunately, I’m new but I’m not naive and don’t fall for antics like his very easily. Hopefully he will disappear from this site so no one else has to deal with him. Thanks again. I do appreciate the input from everyone. He was really dramatic though…lol…and went all out with his “story” yikes! and they say women are drama…lol.

  456. Grasshopper says:

    @Tina – Sleep well..goodnight :)

    • SD Guru says:

      Stop insulting pigs!

      I think it’s a matter of time before SDinLA’s pig makes an appearance on the blog! :mrgreen:

      we had already come to an “arrangement” of what the visit would entail, how much, etc…. why go thru all the antics when he obviously never meant to meet me to begin with?

      I’m sorry to hear about your experience, but considering your location perhaps it’s not all that uncommon. Is he a regular visitor to Vegas or was this going to be an one time arrangement? Bad apples like him will go through all the antics in the hopes that some naive newbie would fall for it, and then they’ll just leave town and disappear.

  457. Tina says:

    @Nawty: we’ve needed your dungeon services around here lately 😉

    @all: goodnight! Work in the am :(

  458. Nawty Molly says:

    Thanks Tina!! 😀

  459. Grasshopper says:

    yw :)

  460. LVbutterfly says:

    Thanks Grasshopper and Tina…I’m sure you are both right. he was probably testing me or intimidated and chickened out…in which case he should have just disappeared instead of dreaming up this lame story….I knew he was full of it when he told me they lost his luggage with the cash in it…oh well..yes…lessons learned and just roll with the punches huh? Thanks again!

  461. Grasshopper says:

    @Tina – I hear ya, girly ..haha 😉

  462. Tina says:

    @Grassy: yeah, I have to keep smacking hands away since they want to keep touching my….uh….halo…..damn gropers! 😉

  463. Tina says:

    @LVbutterfly: what Grassy said, and, maybe he was testing to see how gullible/needy you were to see if you would fall for it. That would give him an idea of how far he could push you. OR, since you said he was married, he chickened out. That happens too – SBs aren’t the only ones that can be new to this and get intimidated with a first meeting.

  464. Grasshopper says:

    @Tina – haha..indeed..lol

  465. Grasshopper says:

    @LVbutterfly – I think he knows that if he asked you to meet him (even though he wouldn’t be able to give you your allowance) that it would be too obvious WHAT his intentions were. I THINK that maybe he put it out there and was HOPING that YOU would be the one to suggest meeting, regardless of the money situation. Because in that case, you really couldn’t say he tricked you into meeting him..because if you were the one that still wanted to meet, that you really couldn’t cry foul later. But it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders for realizing that he’s full o’ shit! All these are life lessons..and we become stronger human beings because of them 😉

  466. Tina says:

    @Grassy: that, and all those, er, dirty fingerprints from grabbing it…….

  467. LVbutterfly says:

    Thanks Grasshopper but he never even asked me to meet him once he told me his “cash” was missing. You think he was hoping I would offer to meet him still? He did call me to tell me the first day (yesterday) that his luggage got lost and all the cash was in it but I was still working so let it go to voicemail. Conveniently when I tried to call him back, no answer but then he started texting me today when they supposedly “found his luggage but the cash was now missing” he never once said oh meet me and I’ll get u the cash or anything like that…weird??? or just a flake? But no way would I even meet him once he came up with that lame story. I’m thinking once he got here he might have met up with an escort or something because they are all over the casinos and he probably got her for a lot cheaper…but who knows. Thank you for your input…its much appreciated! I told him I was blogging about him…LOL…so speaking of not so innocent…I need some duct tape to keep my halo in place too…;) I am all for empowering!

  468. Grasshopper says:

    @Tina – Yeah…those damned tarnish spots caused by all that cu…, er, um..moisture..yeah, yeah..all that damn moisture in the air…..(whew!..that was a close one! =X )

  469. Grasshopper says:

    @LVbutterfly – He was just hoping that because you had spoken, emailed, etc…for that long that you would just go ahead and continue with the plans…that you would give him the benefit of the doubt and trust that he would be good for it later. It’s probably all about his ego and wanting to prove to himself that women will drop their panties for him regardless of an agreement/arrangement.

  470. Tina says:

    @ Grassy: no problem! The good thing is that duct tape now comes in many interesting patterns, which can help hide a few of those stubborn tarnish areas that just WON’T rub out! 😉

  471. LVbutterfly says:

    @Tina…thank you so much! okay so here goes: okay….

    I had an SD flake on me yesterday and today. I live in Las Vegas so its not surprising but what is a pain in the a$$ is that we have been talking and e-mailing back and forth for over a month. He gets here from Jersey and gee, the airport “lost his luggage” and he had all of his “cash” packed with it. First of all, who packs their cash and doesn’t carry it on them when traveling? Now mind you we talked on the phone the day before he flew in and we had already come to an “arrangement” of what the visit would entail, how much, etc so even though I didn’t believe him, I gave him the benefit of the doubt yesterday. So today he tells me they “found his luggage” but lo and behold his “cash” was “gone” as in “stolen” from his luggage….so I know there are a lot of fakes out there but why go thru all the antics when he obviously never meant to meet me to begin with? and can and how do I report a guy like this? He is a total scammer. I’m fairly new at this, but I’m no flake and this guy is definitely a “bad apple”! Any advice? Thank you.

    Also…what pisses me off is that I always get my hair done, etc especially for a first meeting so going through all that trouble only for him to flake on me at the last minute with that fake story really irks me. I know it comes with the territory but we had been talking and came to this “agreement” over the last month…he was going on and on about how excited he was to finally meet me…so why do they do that? Most of the time if they flake they don’t go to all that trouble and will just not call or show up…so what gives with this one? I finally told him to save the antics and I would just blog about him. He’s married so hopefully he will just leave the site. I’ll be checking on him. Also he e-mailed me pics of himself so I just don’t get it. Thankfully I didn’t send him any extra pics. So how does a gal empower herself with guys like this? Thanks everyone!

  472. Grasshopper says:

    @Tina – Wow..thanks for telling me about the duct tape! I was needing something extra to keep MY halo in place – the bobby pins I’ve been using just aren’t cutting it >_<

  473. Tina says:

    @LVbutterfly: yes ma’am! Post away, and I’m sure someone will have a good answer / advice for your predicament! :)

  474. LVbutterfly says:

    @Tina….is this the new blog ur talking about? I’m new on here so bear with me and thanks!

  475. Tina says:

    @Grassy: I have a *hidden* bad side…..people think I’m all sweet and innocent…….I polish my halo regularly! My horns help keep it on straight 😉 That, and duct tape. Duct tape fixes EVERYTHING!

  476. Grasshopper says:

    @Tina – I love the way you think…you’re a girl after my own heart 😉

  477. Tina says:

    @Grassy: I’m a southern gal, don’t think the Cali lifestyle would be me! (I don’t think my dog would do salt water, either!) Plus, with my *slight* accent, I’d stick out like a sore thumb! I think we just need to plan trips to each others place of residence just to wreak havoc, then give the locals a chance to think it’s all fine and dandy again until….WHAMMO! Another visit!


  478. Lydia Bennett says:

    can’t catch up..but Hi xxx all.
    about empowerment:::wtf is it ???, really?? geez
    the only equal power is ZERO power..absolute freedom from ego and the illusion..how wonderful..
    and oh how we long for it..

  479. Grasshopper says:

    @Tina – I can’t… I’m a So. Cal. Girl, through and through! Move here!…Just imagine all the havoc we could wreak ;P

  480. redheadSB says:


    That’s so great that you can keep in contact with your ex SB! Sometimes the emails are normal up until that first date…other times guys can be pretty raunchy about what they “expect” you to do and/or let little subtle hints and innuendos come through. I think a lot of guys that come to the site and are new to this have a warped image of what the site is about and so they feel that they can be more direct in ways that SB’s dont want. They don’t treat us like an escort because they are mean, sometimes they are just new to this and unsure of what can and can’t be said and exactly how an arrangement works.

  481. Tina says:

    @Nawty: YEAH! Glad you’re finally feeling better!

  482. Nawty Molly says:

    Hi everyone!! Starting to feel better, thank goodness!! 😀

    SDinLA ~ I don’t know if anyone suggested this, I didn’t finish catching up on the blog, but, try clearing your cache. :)

    I’ll finish catching up a little later…if it’s possible to keep up with everyone!! Geez!! 😀

  483. Tina says:

    @Grassy: NOW you’re gettin’ it! Sure you don’t want to move to Texas? 😉

  484. Grasshopper says:

    @Tina – So THAT’s why those tall trucks have such big shocks on them…to cushion all the pushin’! =O

  485. Teeny says:

    I dont go on dates with the pigish guys. How it usually happens is the emails are normal and then it gets into the “send me some sexy pics” and do you do this or that, whats your favorite position and blah blah blah. I love sex dont get me wrong, but the whole lets meet at a hotel for a few hrs and ill give you a couple hundred bucks is kinda sleazy. I would rather meet for coffee and see if there is any chemistry and if there is then maybe the next date we can get a lil freaky. I guess everyone is different, it just gets old being constantly asked for wanking material instead of out on a date..

  486. PrinceCharming says:


    Stop insulting pigs!

    Seriously, I just don’t get these guys. And I _really_ don’t get how these guys are getting dates. I was talking with the exSB/SO today about these lame-ass emails she gets (not here, but the exact same crap.) Examples get posted here all the time, and it just bothers me that they get dates at all (especially with all the SBs have flaked out on me the past 7 months.)

    SB’s that have had these really awful first dates — were the emails all normal until the date, or were they sleazy?

  487. Tina says:

    @Grassy: even short road trips around town can suck…….I love tall trucks that people can’t see into the cab……

  488. Tina says:

    @ Teeny, oddly enough the horny pigs tend to make me feel more empowered for a short time. I’m not desperate for money or affection, I’ve chosen this lifestyle for my own reasons, not as a last resort. The horny pigs are always just searching for whatever they can find, and throw little fits when they don’t get what they want. They want someone that is easy to get into bed, and someone they can control, which is SO not me. I’m a strong woman, I know what I want, and there isn’t a horny pig out there that could change who I am or talk me into something that I don’t want.

    So, I screw ’em by not screwing ’em. And that’s MY choice, not theirs. Score one for me, none for them.

  489. Grasshopper says:

    @Tina – Sucky road trips rule ;D

  490. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: you poor thing! Even my IRL relationships (I’m a long term kind of gal, never dated anyone less than 2 years including high school and college years) we kept the sex fun. Long road trip, late night, deserted highway, pull over on the access road and……well, let’s just say that was one road trip that DIDN’T suck…..well, maybe it did…..hehehehehehe

  491. MidwestAnna says:

    @ Teeny – The horny pigs choose to pollute SA because they think they’ll get free (or near free) sex with a higher caliber woman than they would find on an escort site. Who wants to be with a girl whose potentially been with several other men that day when they can seduce and trick a naive college student? It really sucks, but they are very easy to weed out. The good ones are out there. I’m sure you’ll find one of them.

  492. Stormcat says:

    Midwest Anna ~ Agreed an offer can be declared but in a situation such as sugarland sincerity is always in question! I think that whatever the person’s offer is the other should never agree to an arrangement on the magnitude of the offer.if the connection isn’t there too. My point however was more about situations where a person’s guard is somehow comprimised. Desperation for sugar,, Need/fetish irl with no real interest in the sugar relationship, situations where sugar begins from an unexpected source, and I’m including situations where false trust can be achieved. I think that the blog ios one such place. Lots of fun here and pleanty of opportunity for bragging but no oppertunity to confirm the reality of someone else’s declarations. It is then easy to do something like come on the blog and make grand statements and then have all the opposite sex of the blog swooning after you. All the screening gets bypassed and the flags that are obvious in a general population sense aren’t missed, rather they are flags that normally would have come up but don’t even get addressed.

  493. Teeny says:

    Thus far I have not been made to feel very empowered. I will admit Im fairly new and I am still looking for a good SD. Thus far I have talked to guys who are liers/fakes and guys who are just looking to pay for sex. I dont understand why guys would pay for a Sugar dating site just to treat women like escorts, last I checked any of them can hire an escort without paying for site membership. I love reading the success stories tho, it gives me hope that there are nice guys out in the world still and just horny pigs.

  494. PhoneGuy says:

    Mmmmmm, bi SBs. :-)

  495. Stupid auto correct. *bi* sb. Not big. Lol

  496. @princecharming- yes… I’m a wear of that.the hotel security guard in the Ritz Carlton was awesome enough to point that out. I quickly grabbed the big sb who was accompanying me and my sd that night. We went back into the elevator to hang out.

  497. PrinceCharming says:


    We always seem to agree because we always seem to be right :-)

    My suspicion on allowance is, available resources aside, the better the fit and the more the SB brings to the table, the more likely the SB’s allowance is going to exceed the norm. Really together, attractive SBs are going to bring allowances in excess of average in any market, unless there’s some sort of self-esteem or naivete’ issue at play.


    I won’t be drinking anything at a sugar party anytime soon.


    Elevators have cameras, you know.

  498. @stormypoo- I also like kitchens and pool tables.

  499. Stormcat says:

    I don’t know. Showers and elevators are very small rooms and seldom furnished. The might be good for vertical transactions But newt style foreplay followed by prolonged horizontal is probably out.

  500. @ phoneguy- I prefer the hotel elevator. If me and my SD are drunk… I don’t want to mess with getting the key card into the door and turning on the shower. That’s too time consuming for me :-)

  501. PhoneGuy says:

    @Tina, the shower was just the first place I thought of where you people 😉 might prefer to have sex.
    I must confess my mind isn’t open enough…I was married for 15 years. 😉
    Feel free to come over and help free my mind. 😀

  502. Nwsugarbaby says:


    i spoke with potential producers about the show and the only way they would allow me to host is if I was wearing a camo bathing suit with the cowboy hat and boots. how far is that I don’t get to bear everything on tv, but the animals get to show the reproductive cycle on camera.


    I personally like the feeling of being on edge with excitement so long foreplay is a good thing. I could see the disappointment for the guy with the end result though. I guess maybe the newt gets more pleasure out of foreplay than we can understand scientifically right now. Further research dollars need to search for answers. lol. The dollars may be better spent trying to answer the 15 unanswerable questions.

  503. @midwestanna- if anyone has doubts about a pot sb’s pic, they should request to see them on webcam before the initial meeting. I think it really does help to take the edge off of wondering if that’s really them in the picture or not.

  504. DorkyGuy says:

    @nwsugarbaby~ I am suddenly very glad that I am not a newt… spending several days in foreplay just so I can drop my seed in front of her doesn’t sound very fulfilling. Unless she were a nun. Then I would at least have an accomplishment to celebrate.

  505. CupcakeNotMuffin says:

    I feel empowered already :)

  506. MidwestAnna says:

    @ Stormcat – I began using the blog two days ago, so I am unfamiliar with what is typical and what isn’t. I am dating someone IRL and not actively looking for an arrangement, but I would be curious to see how things have worked out between couples who met on the blog. I don’t see it as an all together bad way to meet, honestly. It gives you a deeper glimpse at who they might be as opposed to who they want you to think they are in private 1-on-1 communication.

    There seemed to be a bit of a feeding frenzy when someone posted an allowance that was higher than typical, and I agree that a woman needs to be cautious in any circumstance, but that has me wondering…. What is typical? I’ve received a range of offers – good, bad and terribly insulting but have never accepted below 5. This is very atypical for my area, but it seems that the quality is pretty dodgy.

    I met a guy earlier this year (a newbie) who said that hed been on the verge of quitting SA because the girls he met seemed to be drug addicts, heavier and older than their pictures, scammers and 18 year olds. He was more than willing to accommodate whatever I wanted, but he was too old for me to be attracted to. He’s settled down with a nice, older SB and we’re still good friends.

  507. SDinLA says:

    Coming up next on Animal Planet, “Mating Habits of Newts” hosted by Nwsugarbaby

    @Nwsugarbaby As long as you’re wearing nothing but cowboy hat and boots, I’ll watch! 😉

  508. Nwsugarbaby says:

    “Like all members of Taricha, the rough-skinned newt’s courtship consists of the male grasping a female in amplexus. To accomplish this, the male wraps his limbs around the female’s body from above and holds her tightly and will rub her head with his chin as well as periodically rub her abdomen and flanks with his hinbdlimbs. This can last for many hours to several days. Eventually, the male will dismount and deposit a spermatophore and if the female is receptive, he will then guide her towards it. If the female is unreceptive, she will gladly seize this opportunity to escape the male’s advances!” from a website caudata organization about the rough skinned newt

    Just a reminder that while navigating the sugar world we can empower ourselves to escape the bad apples and pick the good apples that may be harder to reach. Plus I thought y’all may find the information about the rough skinned newt funny or disgusting.

    RE: who is in control.. It’s really hard to say which party is in control of a relationship and honestly it should be mutual or long term won’t work. Example: the male newt may mount the female of his choosing but she must still accept his spermatophore.

  509. SDinLA says:

    “What is your name?”
    “Sir Dorky of Dorkalot”
    “What is your quest?”
    “I seek the Holy Vagina”
    “Does the Tathagata exist after death?”
    “Or not?”
    “I don’t know that….ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

  510. Grasshopper says:

    @Sensei – For my sake, I pray your patience is as infinite as your wisdom, Master ::bows::

  511. DorkyGuy says:

    Someone should pass that list of unanswerable questions to the keeper of the Bridge of Death.

  512. SDinLA says:

    @Dorky but instead of a light-up Grail, you’d need a giant light up vibrator on top of your castle.

    I’ll be the Frenchman in the castle up the road making fun of you…

  513. SDinLA says:

    You are forgiven Grasshopper… this time…

    Maybe THAT’s the true “15th unanswerable question”

    “How many dogmas could a Grasshopper suck, if a Grasshopper could suck dogmas?”

  514. DorkyGuy says:

    My religion would be something like Jonestown, except that instead of putting poison in the koolaid, it would be some pill that makes men unable to perform, but women super horny. I would be the only person not to drink.

    Comedy, laughter, and hi-jinx would ensue, as the insatiable women clamber over each other to pay homage to the one functioning symbol of virility.

    My “temple” would be an exact replica of Castle Anthrax, for my own amusement.

  515. BeachSB says:

    I just had an arrangement end a couple months ago. I have to say that in the beginning it was very rewarding and empowering. The SD was amazing in making me realize things about myself and my life that I knew but was not willing to look into. When we met I was unemployed but I was able to take care of all of my financial needs due to being savvy with my money. With him and I it was more about learning then about money. I received gifts and other things but never money. I didn’t want it in the end because I enjoyed how he was helping me find a job, find me and what not. In the end, however, it turned out that was not what he wanted. I believe he is the type of person that needs someone to take care of and need him. I did not need him in the beginning and as time went on I still did not need him. He was afraid I would just drop him so things did not end well with us. I have not let that get me down, however, I have met a few others who are willing to help me in the same way and I have continued with my plans that I had made while I was with the last SD. Just because it was a bad experience in the end I still ended up being empowered by the experience

  516. Grasshopper says:

    My apologies Sensei..that’s why I need your guidance, Master ::meditates on the matter::

  517. SDinLA says:

    @Grasshopper Have you learned nothing Kwai Chang? How will you ever snatch the pebble from my hand if you’re still sucking every random dogma that comes along?

  518. Stormcat says:

    Grassy ~ Isn’t dogma the word reserved for unproven yet commonly accepted as truth?

  519. SDinLA says:

    @Dorky Maybe if you added Buddha to your Mt. Rushmore tattoo he’d reconsider.

    I’m afraid to even ask what the tenets are for the religion of Dorkyism…

  520. Stormcat says:

    Isn’t dogma the word reserved for commonly accepted as truth?

  521. Grasshopper says:

    ::sucks Dorky’s Dogma::…oh wait..you weren’t talking to me, were you…WOW…talk about AWKWARD! :X

  522. babydoll says:

    @phoneguy/vagent~sorry using my Android tonight,a bit tricky to write specially to
    people like me who are lazy to proofread 😛
    Re~hotel stays,i have worked for the four season’s parklane and although
    i wasnt at the housekeeping dept but i understand clients concerns about hygiene in the
    rooms they occupy.i am not ocd,but very particular about cleanliness and so is my Sd.
    But have you heard about rm service? Any high rate hotels would be happy to change sheets,
    and disinfect any part you want as you check in if you are happy to pay extra.
    We have done that and we enjoy ourselves with no worry.

  523. DorkyGuy says:

    The High Abbot can suck my dogma. See if I let him into my religion.

  524. SDinLA says:

    Dorky’s answers to the “14 unanswerable questions”

    1. 42
    2. 42
    3. 69
    4. 42
    5. 69
    6. 42
    7. 69
    8. 69
    9. 69
    10. 42
    11. 42
    12. 69
    13. 42
    14. 69

    High Abbott at the monastery in Tibet that Dorky is attempting to join: “I am sorry Mr. Dorky. You have not reached a sufficient level of enlightenment in your understanding of Buddhism. Please leave.”

    @Stormypoo I cannot divulge the upgrades for the Mark VII. Even Nick Fury doesn’t know and he’s been bugging me for ages.

  525. Stormcat says:

    SGinLA ~ Is the Mark VII the one rumored to be an alloy of titanium and crystal meth? I heard that the inside has micropiercing barbs so that whenever you are struck you get a boost of unrealistic energy and overt confidence.

  526. DorkyGuy says:

    @SDinLA~ Regarding your 15 unanswerable questions…

    “42” answers half of them
    “69” answers the other half

    Yes, I know 15 is an odd number… but it is evenly divisible by 2 in my reality.

  527. SDinLA says:

    @BeautifullySweetSB re: “How long does it normally take you to get comfortable with a new/existing SB?”

    That could be added to the Avyakrta as the “Fifteenth unanswerable question.”

    1. Is the world eternal?
    2. Or not?
    3. Or both?
    4. Or neither?
    5. Is the world finite?
    6. Or not?
    7. Or both?
    8. Or neither?
    9. Is the self identical with the body?
    10. Or is it different from the body?
    11. Does the Tathagata exist after death?
    12. Or not?
    13. Or both?
    14. Or either?
    15. How long does it take you to get comfortable with your SB?
    (See, I think even Buddha would agree it fits right in.)

    The reality is that it could range from “immediately” to “never” (as in not before the probably short-lived arrangement ends.)

  528. Stormcat says:

    The problem with blog arrangements is that you seem to drop your guard! It’s rare that a fellow blogger fits your usual search criteria. But they seem to connect with you because they are saying the right things when they post. The stuff that pushes your buttons. You like their clever wit and wisdom and you think you are willing to forgoe/relax some of your rules. So you flirt and then jump in blind without the usual screening. But, it is rarely successful long term. I only know of one that seemed to work and I haven’t heard from/about them for a long time. So just because some blogger posts a way more than normal allowance history is not any reason to believe it than it is for you to believe some message from some fake JDpot who makes unrealistic promises and asks for sex at the first meet.

  529. SDinLA says:

    @Stormypoo All of my armour since the Mark III has been made from a gold-titanium alloy. I’m currently using the Mark VI, but the Mark VII is well along in development. Make of that what you may. 😉

  530. MidwestAnna says:

    @ PrinceCharming – Why is it that we always seem to agree?

  531. Stormcat says:

    Tina ~ Are you insinuating that SDinLA would have armor that is tarnishable. We live in the age of modern metalurgy! Think inpenetrable titaneum alloy impurveous to armor piercing insult rockets!

  532. Tina says:

    (hands SDinLA some silver polish and a cloth so he can untarnish his armor to help BeautifullySweetSB)

  533. BeautifullySweeetSB says:

    A question to all of my Knights in shinning armor: How long does it normally take you to get comfortable with a new SB (or an existing SB)?

  534. Tina says:

    @SDinLA: Midwest had the same problem when she changed hers……she ended up having to go back to the pearls, not sure if the file size is too big?

  535. Tina says:

    Mr. Tallywacker? naaaaaaaah, that’s been done…….

  536. SDinLA says:

    @Dorky Yeah, I’ve rechecked spelling, cleared caches, you name it. Oh well, I guess the blog won’t get to see my awesome gravatar.

  537. Tina says:

    Hmmm, SD seems jealous if Dorky’s tattoo, so we could always name his horse Mt. Rushmore so he could have one of his own…………

  538. SDinLA's horse says:

    @Dorky “Whorse?” I say old man, what have I ever done to you? Unlike that canine in rehab, I hve been nothing but civil to all blog participants. And I hear you have a tallywhacker that is even larger than mine, so it’s not like you need to feel threatened on that front like most men,

  539. Stormcat says:

    I like Centurian Candidate. But that’s just not even humerous.

  540. DorkyGuy says:

    @SDinLA all I can recommend is triple-check the spellings. Also, make sure there are no leading or trailing spaces

  541. DorkyGuy says:

    I think you should just call him “Whorse”

  542. SDinLA says:

    @Dorky I added a gravatar to this email several days ago but it is still not showing up. What am I doing wrong oh computer whiz with the massive member?

  543. Tina says:

    LAOS? (LAs Ornery Steed)? eh……

  544. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: whoever said I was referring to hotels as an alternate place for sex? Open your mind my dear!

    @SDinLA: I think giving life to the Captain Flypaper alter ego has temporarily taken away my power for good monikers (damn you Flypaper!). Plus, the only one popping into my head right now for your horse is “Elmer”, and that’s just cruel.

    @Grassy: and THAT’S why I’m picky about people using my bathroom in general, even my roommates! AND I have a floor steam cleaner for the tile as well as many types of cleaners for a variety of things in said bathroom……….

  545. frank says:

    White knight here!

    The NSA is a difficult dance and I guess I’m still learning the steps. If there is no emotional connection, I feel just like a john, and if there is too much it complicates things.

    I left my last sb and gave her about a months worth of allowance, she emailed me after a few weeks asking for more money, her power was being cut off etc. When I refused, she angrily told me I was a heel for cutting her off so close to XMAS, (it was late Nov I believe). I was able to withstand that onslaught.

    The sb I had before that just stopped answering her phone. Never found out why.

    Does anyone have any interesting “break up” stories.

    Well I’m off to send my sb some rent money, gotta saddle up that darn horse. Giddyup there Silver.

  546. About the allowance thing- to me there is a big difference between asking your SD for help when an actual emergancy comes up and being the Mac make-up fund.

  547. Grasshopper says:

    @Sensei – Re: “@grassy thanks for the shower story!!! No, really, thanks. I mean it…”

    Anytime! It was TRULY my pleasure 😉

  548. SDinLA says:

    @jenniebug nyah nyah nyah my horse beat you

    @Tina I’m still waiting for some brilliant name suggestions

    @babydoll I like my horses like I like my wimmenz… fast.

    @fellow OCD types I have rules about shower use. Other guys can never use my shower, but that would only ever come up if somehow all the other showers were inoperative at once, so not likely. A female friend could use it, but again that would only ever come up if every other shower was out of order, and she would have to squeegee the glass really well and clean it thoroughly when she was done. My significant other can use it, and I’ll make allowances for her. Being as OCD or even more OCD than me about that can be a huge plus in my significant other election process but I must confess to having made allowances on that front if the candidate had other attributes in abundance- sorta like the “hot guy discount” I suppose, the “messy girl blind eye”

    @PhoneGuy Hotel beds and showers…. :::shudder:::: I don’t care if it’s a self-styled “seven star” property like the Burj al Arab in Dubai or the ones popping up in China, hotel beds and showers give me nightmares. I think it’s why I seldom get a good night’s rest in a hotel. Years ago one of the local TV “investigative reporters” did an expose on hotel beds… he took a black light into a bunch of hotels, including 5-star properties like Ritz Carltons, and the # of stains that showed up on the bedspreads and sheets even at the high end properties was disgusting. I don’t think I stayed in a hotel for quite a while after that.

    @grassy thanks for the shower story!!! No, really, thanks. I mean it…

    re: who has the power, as in all aspects of one’s life, you always have the power until you choose to hand it over to someone else.

  549. J says:

    As a male sugar baby what can I do to attract female sugar mommas as there is a limited number on the site that I am a member of?

  550. I do feel that a sb can empower her SD too. This may sound completely shallow and mean, but I did empower a pot SD to take charge of his life and self confidence. About a year ago I met one of the most beautiful souls that i had ever et in my life off of this site. We sat down for coffee and talked like I do with almost every pot SD. He kept asking if i was completely disgusted by him. I quickly found out he I reason for being on the site. The guy was a wopping 300+ lbs. Now im about 5’2 and 115. I literally could picture the guy crushing me in bed. I honestly told him that iabsolutly liked him. However, he needed to loose some weight. I offered emotional support but wouldn’t sleep with him. I encouraged him to invest in a gym membership and a dietitian. Now that he’s lost weight, his self confidence seems to be up. He looks better and he doesn’t complain about back/neck issues nearly as much. Its too bad that I moved too far away to be his sb. I am extremely happy for him though. He now has four amazingly hot irl girlfriends.

  551. PrinceCharming says:


    I think you got it exactly right.

    In my profile I even specifically call out that I prefer SBs are NOT be dependent upon me for full support, and it’s because of how it messes up the balance of power. My first arrangement worked out well due to the balance, and my second had ups and downs, depending on if she was supporting herself or not. As soon as financial or sexual dependence happens on either side, the balance and empowerment gets impacted in a really negative way in my opinion.

    I have far fewer doubts when the SB is self-supporting and using the arrangement as a lifestyle enhancer that she really wants to be with the SD, where as when she’s totally dependent of the SD, she might be staying in a situation that’s not right for her. That’s lose/lose for both sides. I’ve noticed this as I’ve messages SBs on the site, as well, the ones that seem to be doing it out of sheer need have a bizarre combo of eagerness (to get money) and skittishness (they don’t really want to be doing an arrangement) that seems to waste time, while the more self-sufficient or student SBs have something going on for them in their lives are look to an arrangement for fun and mutual benefit, and seem way happier and open.

  552. PhoneGuy says:

    >Everybody here already knows you have white knight syndrome. It’s okay you’re among friends! (Opportunistic SB’s and similarly aflicted patients!)
    @Stormypoo, That’s why I never post my profile in these shark infested waters. 😉
    That way SBs who happen across my profile won’t know what a sucker I am. 😉

  553. Stormcat says:

    VA Gent ~ “To me Nsa means that the arrangement is one where allowance is exchanged for visitation and neither party has any emotional , physical ,or Financial tie to the other . You meet the requisite number of time aliquots ,you exchange the Sugar on a reliable basis and when you are apart there is no connection until the next scheduled time ”

    This is the defination of NSA taken to the extreme. Kind of worst case scenario! I don’t believe to many really wants such a starkly compartmentalized relationship.

    “another NSA definition which might fit more people . “a relationship of the moment based on mutual caring and trust unique to each couple in which no guarantee is given to extend beyond that moment”

    This too is highly compartmentalized but softened with emotion and connection.

    It seems that you have done a lot of thinking on this subject and tried to analyze it across the breadth of relationships from stark repeat hooker/john things all the way to happily ever after. Speak further please. It’s stimulating.

  554. Va Gentleman says:


    In NSA monogamy is eschewed,one lives for the moment ,they practice a no ask no tell policy re: real life —in essence you meet –you have fun –you forget until the next time .

    I know I know –everybody is clamoring to contradict my definition. Well , it is mine alone . Beautiful , what I want ( and have ) is an emotional connection with my SB. We are monogamous ,we love each other , we talk in between visits –much like an IRL couple . What we don’t have is an expectation that our relationship will progress beyond this stage since I am married and we are 40 years apart in age and at different life cycles . Actually I just created another NSA definition which might fit more people . “a relationship of the moment based on mutual caring and trust unique to each couple in which no guarantee is given to extend beyond that moment .

  555. Va Gentleman says:

    @Beautifully SweeetSB

    ” Ok so i’m confused is a NSA a bad thing? ”

    Welcome to the club Beautiful > I am probably the worst one to ask about NSA since I value (and actually seek out ) the emotional connection.

    The quick answer to your question is a qualified NO–Nsa is not a bad thing. It depends on how you define NSA and apply it to your situation . And , it’s important for you to get a SD who agrees with your version of NSA .

    To me Nsa means that the arrangement is one where allowance is exchanged for visitation and neither party has any emotional , physical ,or Financial tie to the other . You meet the requisite number of time aliquots ,you exchange the Sugar on a reliable basis and when you are apart there is no connection until the next scheduled time .

  556. PhoneGuy says:

    I was talking to my co-worker about relative power in sugar relationships. His gut reaction was “well the girl has all the power…you want what she has.” I’ve heard a lot of SBs say the opposite. I agree with PC, I really think it is pretty evenly balanced. If you are desperate for money, it’s going to feel like the SD has all the power. If you are desperate for companionship, it’s going to seem like the SB has all the power. If you are not desperate, then you have complete and total power over you and she has complete and total power over her and it’s balanced.

  557. Stormcat says:

    Jennibaba ~ Do you wear rubber gloves when you do that?

  558. Stormcat says:

    PhoneGuy ~ Everybody here already knows you have white knight syndrome. It’s okay you’re among friends! (Opportunistic SB’s and similarly aflicted patients!)

  559. @stormypoo- rofl…. I gently move it around with my hand until its positioned just the way I want it : p

  560. PhoneGuy says:

    @VA Gent et al, The hardest part of all this is that while the monthly expense she would now need may exceed your sugar budget and may exceed your entire discretionary income, it’s up for debate on whether you could afford it. I doubt may SDs only have $100 in the bank. An SD may not be able to access these funds (possibly because his wife would notice). But I don’t believe the typical SD/SB relationship should cover anything like this. I would have to be in a relationship waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy past NSA to consider this. Jennie’s example is a little easier. If I had an SB for 6-8 months and she just needed me to pay her rent for a few months…and i’m not even giving her an allowance, I would probably cover it.

    Interesting conversation here people.

  561. Stormcat says:

    Jenniebaba ~ How do you handle the weakly hung art?

  562. BeautifullySweeetSB says:

    @VA Gent: Ok so i’m confused is a NSA a bad thing? Does it mean that you won’t really have a good relationship with your SB/SD?

  563. @phoneguy- omgz- hotel showere are the land of the lost children. I bring chlorox disenfecting wipes with me when i get to the hotel rooms and wipe the shower down before i use it for the first time.

  564. PhoneGuy says:

    @Tina and Babydoll,
    This brings up an interesting question about OCD people, how do you feel about hotel rooms? Are you fine in a nice hotel’s bed? How about their shower?

  565. PrinceCharming says:


    I think you just stumbled onto a new market — the whole body condom, for men involved with OCD women. You could use the razor/blade model, the condoms are cheap, but the breathing snorkel is where the profit is…


    Obviously I’m not a SB, but the common thread among all the SBs/pot SBs I’ve met seems to be that going the sugar route provides them with a very potent way to screen the men they date and also demand (if they wish) an allowance, both which certainly seems very empowering to me. It’s contrary to popular opinion, but I think the power in arrangements is far more balanced than in more traditional relationships (and far more balanced than in traditional live-in relationships!)

    I also think there’s empowerment on both sides due to the up-front honesty an arrangement (should) entail. While I occasionally miss certain aspects of traditional relationships, the hidden agendas and spending the first few months hiding aspects of oneself — both aspects of a hidden power play where each side is trying to sneakily manipulate the other — just seems insane to me. While arrangements may not achieve some romanticized ideal, I think in real life they’re the most empowering and practical realization of a relationship.

  566. @VA gentelman- no. I’m just saying that if he had the means to do it, then I would expect the help. I have had sds that were fully capible of doing this for me in the past. I never have asked my sds for a monthly allowance or extravagant gifts. So, yes… when I had a SD that I had seen for6-8 months… he was OK with paying my rent and bills for a few months while I got back on my feet. We both had an understanding that it wasn’t a permanent thing. Nobody was trying to milk any cows or live outside of their means. It was a ginuine situation where I needed the help.

  567. Va Gentleman says:


    ” I think I would almost expect him the extra help. ”

    I would think that you would like it – -who wouldn’t like full support and coverage for whatever else comes up . I’m not being critical Jenniebug but a SD undertaking that degree of support would have to be very well heeled indeed — and deeply care for you beyond the vaunted NSA relationship. That sounds more like a committed IRL relationship .

    I spend close to the max that I can afford to see my SB at least twice/week plus gifts,dinners,etc. If she hit me with a $multithousand bill on top of that I could not afford it . I guess that your answer to this would be –“I don’t want some tightwad who can’t afford me ” And by the way , my SB makes $$$ thousand /month so I wouldn’t exactly call me a tightwad .

  568. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    @baby_Tee I’m 28 as well and I think having a supportive SD allowed me to explore every major I thought I wanted to finish… At 26 it finally clicked what I wanted and where I wanted to be in life. Thank God I had SDs to support me during my experiment phases. lol Have fun and enjoy your sugar life. Being naturally pretty never expires and when you’re 50 I’m sure a SD in his 80s will think you’re HOTT! lol

  569. I’ve had a SD fully support me while I wasn’t able to work in the past. Sometimes unexpected things come up and the extra help is needed. Its always nice to have someonethere when that “oh fuck” I’m stuck in a hospital bed and can’t go to work for the next four to six months kind of situation comes up. If i were in a relationship with a guy who could afford to provide the extra help when i need it… I think I would almost expect him the extra help.

  570. Tina says:

    @ VA Gent: good to know that you’re grammar skills stay in tact while talking dirty 😉

  571. Va Gentleman says:


    ” I just got a msg from a wannabe pot saying “I would like to cum and visit you.” Winner alert ”

    What a jerk ! He doesn’t even know good syntax . It should be ” I want to visit you and cum ”

    He obviously is an escapee fromm Craigs List

  572. Va Gentleman says:


    ” if she truly is going under the knife, how could you tell her, no money ” ?

    Frank ,you are suffering from white knight syndrome . All the girls are going to love you for it here but anytime a SB asks for money outside of the agreement then you are in trouble . I had a prior semi SB who constantly called with the next eviction notice, car bill , lost license –you name the disaster and she had them . I went along for a while feeling very used while I did it , then when I stopped paying she blackmailed me .

    My advice to you in picking a SB is to find one who is not living off your allowance ,but uses the money for “extras” or for savings . If she depends on you for 100% support ,then you are tapped out before being hit with surprise bills .

    You are not responsible for her –run while you still can .

  573. baby_Tee says:

    I live in south africa. On my part i wonder why i never said YES to a sugar daddy when i was younger cause i feel had i done so earlier i would be so far career wise and business wise. Am 28, been with my SD for close to 2years now, while he’s benefited with a shoulder to cry on or someone to juss relax with, i ve had the opportunity to travel like i’ve always wanted to and my business has grown through the network i,ve made through him. Am happy with my lifestyle and as VictoriaNoSecrets puts in, i also dont see myself dating traditionally anytime soon. hands up to all sugar daddies who know how to treat a sugar babe.

  574. babydoll says:

    lol!!! everyone is here all at the same time!!!

    @Phoneguy~yeah i agree with Tina 😛 have you heard of 5 star hotel stays??? :) just making you laugh 😉

    will comment later :)

    @SDinLa~ your horse was quick!!! haha

  575. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: sex doesn’t always have to be in a bed at home. Just sayin’. 😉

  576. VictoriaNoSecret says:

    As a sugar baby, I do feel this lifestyle is very empowering. I’ve been in the sugar bowl for a while. I met my first SD at age 18 and the life that I was granted was a very financially and emotionally rewarding one. The doors that were opened by him and the network of people I was privilegded to be introduced to still proves to be invaluable. That relationship lasted 3 years. Shortly after I met my second SD and he wasn’t as emotionally there as he was financially but that relationship had its benefits that still are helpful today. It lasted 2 years. My last SD was a professional ball player and that relationship lasted 6 years. Through all the relationships I’ve gain valuable knowledge and life long friends. I love the life style. In the beginning I didn’t chose it, it sort of chose me. Greatful for everything and I wouldn’t have it anyother way. 😉 Its very empowering to know that you are a desired young lady that has the know how to successfully navigate the life of sugar and live the life provided to you on the terms you have a 100 percent say in. I love the lifestyle and don’t see myself dating traditionally anytime soon. Currently looking for a new SD.

  577. PhoneGuy says:

    How are you girls going to have sex with an SD if you can’t let him use your shower? 😛

  578. MidwestAnna says:

    Thanks Layna!

  579. Layna says:

    love the way u put it midwestanna

  580. Grasshopper says:

    @MidwestAnna – yw and ty for answering my inquiries :)

  581. MidwestAnna says:

    To all of you OCD ladies – if letting a guy take a shower freaks you out, how do certain intimate acts resonate? Just saying…. :p

    I love this blog. Lol.

  582. MidwestAnna says:

    @Grasshopper –

    My first arrangement was financially driven and a negative experience for me. The money was profoundly dissatisfying given what I had to put up with (controlling behavior, coaxing to do things I didn’t want). At that point I’d only been with two people, so it was very different from anything I’d experienced. I ended it after three months and faced intermittent stalking for quite some time (calling me at work, reciting my parents address in VMs). Spooky stuff.

    After that, I was much more selective, focusing only on guys who were successful and decent people who had the capacity to be a good friend in addition to a benefactor.

    All arrangements, past and current, have included a financial component. It is a very important factor, but there are a lot of other qualities i’ve look for. The help i’ve received, financially and emotionally is what has allowed me to be where I am today. I couldn’t be more grateful or supportive of this lifestyle.

    I love connecting with other women like yourself who have a similar pragmatic view. I like the simplistic nature of an arrangement and find them really sexy. I like that terms and boundaries are defined in the beginning. Being with a generous guy is great and there is less chance of hurt or complication than traditional, forever-minded relationships (not my speed).

    Thx for your comments! xoxo

  583. Jessie says:

    @Hey allie – I was lucky…I got a clone…lol

    BTW, how did that program Dallas Baby recommended work for you?

  584. Jessie says:

    @Grasshopper – You’re such a minx ;). Although, I have to confess that you’d need a magnifying glass to tell the difference between my oh-so-good face and my naughty face.

  585. allie says:

    @jessie yeah i hear ya about talking to a true OCD…… i had to break up with one not to long ago…. how sad.

  586. Grasshopper says:

    @Jessie – ok, ok..I’ll save the other tales of horror for those times when you’re being naughty instead of being good. Oh wait..naughty IS good…My bad ;P

  587. Jessie says:

    @Grasshopper – Now what did I do to deserve your torturous story? LOL. Please, save the rest of them…I promise I’ll be good ;).

  588. I’ll only choose to be with a SD that wants to help me archive the goals that i have. If a pot SD starts talking about how much allowance I want, I start talking about the goals I have. Sometimes the information or resorces that a SD has is far more valuable then the allowance that they are offering. I remember telling one of my potential sds that an I pad was a Christmas present that I was trying to get for a family member. To my surprise he had three of them sitting in his trunk. They were gifts from his clients. He pulled one out and gave it to me. I was telling another pot SD about a concert that i wanted to go to. He told me to hold off on buying the tickets until the next day. He asked around and ended up getting me meet&greet passes for free.that was one of the best concerts that I’ve ever been to in my whole life.

  589. Grasshopper says:

    @Jessie – wanna get REALLY grossed out? When I was a kid, my dad brought home 2 French guys that were hitch-hiking across America. You can’t even imagine how bad they smelt..haha….or maybe you can!..lol. Anywho, they took showers in MY bathroom! I got up for school the next morning…and they were already gone. I went into the bathroom and the bathroom and shower were RANCID! I nearly gagged. They had showered the night before and the stink was still there like 8 hours later! They had left a film of stinky soap scum in my shower!. I was so upset, I almost started crying..haha

  590. Jessie says:

    Hey Grasshopper ;). I’m getting the heebie-jeebies, just thinking of it.

    @LASB – I’m sure you know that talking “rationally” to someone who is OCD is pointless :). If you are truly OCD, however, I bet there are things that you wouldn’t dream of doing. Let’s just say, using my shower is one of mine…SD yae, or nay.

  591. Charis says:

    Hey sugardaddies, I’m looking to find out about the empowerment thing, I feel a little invisivble. So what am I not doing that I should be. Read all the notes and blogs, ideas and suggestions but still spinning my wheels. I guess what I’m trying to say is can someone empower me to see what I should be doing.

  592. Grasshopper says:

    @MidwestAnna – Was having your hand out and receiving wads of cash satisfying to you prior to having companies of your own? In essence, didn’t that proverbial wad of cash enable you to pursue your dreams of owning businesses? That Had to have been satisfying to you at one point..no? Are you suggesting that nowadays you’re a SB just for the good company? You receive nothing of monetary value? The only gifts you receive these days are Pearls of Wisdom? Just curious 😉

  593. LASB says:

    Frank – It sounds like you are going to find out soon enough, but is there any way you can talk to her landlord directly? If indeed she has cancer than I am really feel for both of your circumstances. I hope that you come up with a good solution. There are non profits who can assist with these sorts of ordeals, so you may consider doing a bit of research online. I do agree with some of the blog SDs who said that a SB’s problem should not become a SD’s problem, but I interpret that to mean that help if want to and if you are able, but not if it starts to create a problem for you, and definitely not if you know you are being conned.

  594. LASB says:

    Jessie – It’s not some homeless guy of the street that I let use my shower. It was a guy that I had been on a few dates with and was deciding whether or not to make him my SD. Obviously he’s a clean enough guy to know to take a shower before going on a date. And whatever–the maid was coming the next morning anyhow so it’s not like I would have to live with his funk forever after. Trust me, I’m just as OCD as the next person (no shoes allowed in the house, shower 2x/day, bring extra disposable socks to get through the airport line, etc.) but unless your place is brand spanking new and you are the original owner and renter, there was someone before you that used the very shower you’re currently using. Luckily, showers and bathtubs have nonporous surfaces and CAN be cleaned.

    Prince Charming – Knowing where I live or dropping me off/picking me up is not a problem. But then again, I live in a high security building which is virtually stalker-proof. My understanding is that Beach Girl was referring to whether a SD should be allowed to occupy (however temporarily) a SB’s personal living space. Besides, they have to know where my place is so they know where to deliver all the gifts. 😉

    Allie – Yes, there is a lot of that. Just block and move on. I just got a msg from a wannabe pot saying “I would like to cum and visit you.” Winner alert.

  595. frank says:

    I live in a smallish city, and the in town SB I had wouldn’t let me come to her house because she had a “nosy” neighbor and didn’t want her to see a man coming to her home. Probable just an excuse, but a good one.

    My SB goes under the knife Thursday and she cancelled our date this week. I just don’t think this is a ploy, she enjoys our visits too much too cancel otherwise. (I know, no fool like an old fool, but I don’t think its a scam.) She texted me and asked for money to help with her rent. So I called her today (we generally text between visits) and she asked me if I was going to drop her,
    I stuttered a little and told her we would work something out.

    I respect all of the advice everyone has given me, but if she truly is going under the knife, how could you tell her, no money, and before you go to hospital pack up your things because you are going to be evicted?

    I will keep you posted on this sad saga. Anyone want to make a bet on whether she has a scar when I see her next?

  596. MidwestAnna says:

    How have you been empowered as a Sugar Baby?

    When my first SD found me I was struggling financially, but on a good path. I wasn’t comfortable with the relationship, but I was also 20 and vulnerable. The ones I’ve had subsequently have been uplifting situations with men who have made contributions to my life that have far exceeded any monetary benefit. They helped me to see my worth and my potential.

    Their success isn’t something I sought to leech from, it was something I wanted for myself. I have only had a few arrangements, but have made many more friends, all of whom have been happy to share their experience with me. They seemed to enjoy having a pretty young girl around who could speak their language and showed such an interest in their lives.

    Today, I have my own companies and earn more than many of the guys who write to me. I still selectively consider arrangements, but only if a situation is very compelling. I’ve also had some luck on Brandons other site, SM… So, is being an SB empowering? For me, the answer is yes, but that satisfaction doesn’t come from sticking my hand out and and ending up with a wad of cash.

  597. Grasshopper says:

    @Jessie – I can relate to that feeling of..”ok..wow…now it’s RUINED!!!” LoL

  598. Grasshopper says:

    @Jessie – Re: “I’m wayyy too OCD to allow anyone, much less a perfect stranger (two dates…still a stranger in my book) to set foot into my house…and using my shower I’d have to “bomb” it afterwards.”

    Lmfao! That’s too fkn funny! ;D

  599. Jessie says:

    @LASB – What the heck? You invited him to use your shower? That should have been your “next” moment. Of course, I’m wayyy too OCD to allow anyone, much less a perfect stranger (two dates…still a stranger in my book) to set foot into my house…and using my shower I’d have to “bomb” it afterwards. Girl, you are sooo slipping ;).

  600. PrinceCharming says:


    Do you think that would apply to even knowing where your place is or picking you up there without entering? The less stellar SB, who was local to me, only disclosed her town. Four months in that seemed to be a huge red flag (along with everything else!)

    Being private myself, I can totally understand not wanting anyone messing with my stuff.

  601. allie says:

    Just wondering how i report people on here, i mean really, im looking at someones profile and it says and i quote,
    “Discretion is respected and schedule is flexible. You must be able to host $300 per meeting.”

    Hmmmm come on smart empowered sugar girls, what do you think that means!

    Also, how awesome is this sugar daddy that just messaged me
    “So ideally I’m just looking for some seriously hot sex and of course to spoil you.
    I’m open to both ongoing and one time.
    All depends on our chemistry.”

    One time? Honey the only thing happening one time is me realizing I don’t like you and not seeing you again……..

  602. Tina says:

    @LASB: well said! SDs are not the only ones that would like to keep some things private! There are many SBs that would prefer to keep parts of their lives private for a time, if ever to be revealed. It’s all between the SD and SB as to what level of “exposure” is required

  603. LASB says:

    BeautifullySweeetSB – In response to what you posted on the other blog, the guy you saw was no SD. What concerns me is that you gave him your number and repeatedly saw him after you knew what he was about. Please, please, please listen to your intuition!

    To all the newbies on here – Welcome to the blog! Consider getting yourself Google voice to protect yourself from stalkers and other nonsense. As Midwest SB says, “screen relentlessly.” If something seems off, please do not let desperation (or greed) get the best of you. A supposed pot SD contacted me on Friday, bragged about his wealth and of course went in with the hard sale using allowance and his fancy cars and whatever. Then he proposed as our first date that I come over to his house right then and there to enjoy the view and have wine. A newbie may have been tempted with all those lavish promises, but really I wasn’t born yesterday. I won’t go into the rest of the story, other than to say I was a “no show.”

    Should a SD be able to come over to my place –
    As of last week, I have a policy against it. I had seen a pot for 2 dates and he seemed decent enough. He asked me out one night (date 3) as he was in my neighborhood. He asked if he could use my shower as to not have to go home first. Seemed benign so I agreed to let him. Once he showered and was ready for our date he wanted the tour. Ok, brief tour, fine. But I turned around for a split second, and when I turned back he had already started picking things up of my desk and was staring at my papers that were laying about because I’m deep into tax season, and I was neither expecting guests nor such classless behavior from my last minute guest. I then said, “Um, we should leave, I’m starving,” because I didn’t have the energy for a big confrontation and I certainly wasn’t about to let him continue to snoop through my personal business, including various financial statements. Needless to say, that was enough to earn him a “next!” If an SB doesn’t want you all up in her biz, she might be hiding a husband or a snake, OR she may just a private person who doesn’t like people “all up in her biz.”

  604. PhoneGuy says:

    > Is it such a bad thing for them to know your budget?
    It’s not a bad thing if you want to get through the allowance discussion as quickly as possible.
    I doubt if that is usually a SDs objective. I like to find out what a pot SB wants/needs. If it’s less than my “budget” I agree to her terms. (and I don’t have a budget. I don’t know exactly how much extra money I have every month and I’m sure it varies. I spend money, try to determine if my bank account is higher or lower than last month. If it’s lower, then I spend less.) It’s easier to choose to spoil her with something extra or give her money for an unexpected expense if I’m not spending every last dime.

  605. They should have music to go along with this blog topic. I click on tje blog and see the picture. Then I expect to hear the song “I am every woman” for some odd reason.

  606. Emily says:

    Well, not being broke is certainly empowering. I can tell you having men in the past who were willing to take care of me financially helped me survive. If it hadn’t been for my last Daddy, I’d be tens of thousands of dollars in debt, and I don’t know where my mother would be, right now. He helped me help her out a few times.
    Yeah, not being broke is empowering.

  607. @Stormypoo- that’s why I need a good SD. Hell be the official ruler. I’ll be the backseat driver.

  608. Stormcat says:

    Jennibaba ~ Well I’m not sure the world has progressed to the level of equal oportunity dictator.

  609. @stormypoo- gasps…. oh no’s! My narcissistic side has accidently been exposed!

  610. Stormcat says:

    Jeeze Jenniebaba there’s that Nepolianic Feminist Cinderella coming out in you again!

  611. I look forward to working with more of the amazing men off of the site to help empower me in moving forward with my plan for tottaly world domination. I’d go into more details but its top secret. 😀

  612. I think the biggest thing that a former SD helped me with was debt consolidation. When i first got onto this site, I had so much debt that if I would have made every monthly payment that i had on time… I would have seriously been left with $5 of survival money per week. That was after pulling a 16 hour workshift 5-6 days per week. Today I am debt and student loan free because of the mass amount of information and resources that a SD provided for me. Horay!

  613. ContentSB says:

    Hi sugars :)

    Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and a productive Monday!

  614. BeautifullySweeetSB says:

    yay new blog!!!

  615. Tina says:

    Dammit Dorky!

  616. Tina says:

    Fast little hooves @SDinLA’s horse still need to be named……..

  617. DorkyGuy says:

    Typical of SDinLA, he always has to come first.

  618. @ darn you beat me by two seconds.

  619. SDinLA says:

    Curses, beaten by that crafty steed again.

  620. Yay! New blog… I just like to comment first.

  621. SDinLA's horse says:

    First past the post?

  622. Brandon Wade says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!