7 years ago
US Cities with the Most Sugar Daddies


So, if you are looking for a Sugar Daddy in the United States, in which cities are you most likely to find them?  And which cities are they the most generous?  In the past few weeks, we took the time to churn through the data on SeekingArrangement.com to come up with answers to those two questions. We published the results of our analysis (based on 5 years worth of mostly “self-reported” data), and what we found was quite surprising.

As most of you may already know, sugar dating is a fast growing trend and lifestyle in the United States. Since our launch in 2006, we have seen the number of active Sugar Daddies grow from tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands around the world.

The Average US Sugar Daddy

In the United States, the average Sugar Daddy is 39 years old and has a 41.2% chance of being married. He makes an average annual income of US$263,589, is worth about US$5.6 Million, and spends approximately US$4,357 a month on his sugar addiction.  As for his sugar preferences, there is a 95.6% chance he is heterosexual, 3.8% chance he is homosexual, and 0.6% chance he is bisexual.

The 5-year Trend

In the United States, we have seen the average age of Sugar Daddies drop from 44 years old (in 2007) to 39 years old (in 2012) as more and more men under 35 enter the Sugar lifestyle.  This has also led to a drop in the average annual income, net-worth and monthly budget of the average US Sugar Daddy.  Income has dropped 18% from $321,482 (in 2007) to $263,589 (in 2012), net-worth has dropped 21% from $7.1 Million (in 2007) to $5.6 Million (in 2012), and monthly budget has dropped 30% from US$6,231 (in 2007) to US$4,357 (in 2012).

 Top 20 US Cities to find a Sugar Daddy

So, what are the Top 20 cities with the best chances of nabbing a good Daddy?  Well, we published this list today and when the media got a hold of them, some reporters wrote to us in disbelief.  An LA Weekly reporter refused to believe that his native Los Angeles isn’t the Sugar Capital of the world given Hef and his Playboy mansion was there.  I explained to him that if we had compiled a list based on simply the number of Sugar Daddies, it would have been misleading since Los Angeles and New York, being the biggest metropolitan area by population would no doubt win.  As such, the list we complied was by population density.  What really mattered here is the number of Sugar Daddies per 1000 adult male in the city.  So, guess which city topped the list?

1. San Francisco, CA – (3.51 per 1000)
2. Boston, MA – (2.47 per 1000)
3. Austin, TX – (2.35 per 1000)
4. Las Vegas, NV – (2.32 per 1000)
5. Los Angeles, CA – (2.31 per 1000)
6. Washington DC – (2.24 per 1000)
7. Hartford, CT – (2.21 per 1000)
8. Miami, FL – (2.14 per 1000)
9. New York, NY – (2.10 per 1000)
10. San Diego, CA – (1.85 per 1000)
11. Seattle, WA – (1.83 per 1000)
12. Tampa, FL – (1.79 per 1000)
13. Denver, CO – (1.72 per 1000)
14. Orlando, FL – (1.69 per 1000)
15. New Orleans, LA – (1.68 per 1000)
16. Dallas, TX – (1.54 per 1000)
17. Salt Lake City, UT – (1.50 per 1000)
18. Atlanta, GA – (1.41 per 1000)
19. Charlotte, NC – (1.37 per 1000)
20. Phoenix, AZ – (1.31 per 1000)

And what about the city with the most generous Sugar Daddies? Here is the average monthly SD budget from the top 20 most generous cities (Please note that monthly budget is NOT the monthly allowance, rather it is the total SD budget that includes gifts, travel, dining, shopping and allowances):

1. Los Angeles, CA – Avg. monthly budget: $5,710
2. New York, NY – Avg. monthly budget: $5,002
3. Seattle, WA – Avg. monthly budget: $4,985
4. Miami, FL – Avg. monthly budget: $4,927
5. Louisville, KY – Avg. monthly budget: $4,860
6. Las Vegas, NV – Avg. monthly budget: $4,773
7. Phoenix, AZ – Avg. monthly budget: $4,625
8. Salt Lake City, UT – Avg. monthly budget: $4,563
9. Columbus, OH – Avg. monthly budget: $4,423
10. Buffalo, NY – Avg. monthly budget: $4,293
11. Orlando, FL – Avg. monthly budget: $4,275
12. Tampa, FL – Avg. monthly budget: $4,229
13. Pittsburgh, PA – Avg. monthly budget: $4,219
14. Cleveland, OH – Avg. monthly budget: $4,211
15. Chicago, IL – Avg. monthly budget: $4,177
16. Kansas City, KS – Avg. monthly budget: $4,135
17. Boston, MA – Avg. monthly budget: $4,111
18. Hartford, CT – Avg. monthly budget: $4,095
19. San Diego, CA – Avg. monthly budget: $4,043
20. Dallas, TX – Avg. monthly budget: $3,969

What do you think of the statistics above? 

Do you feel it is an accurate representation of the SD members you have met on the website?

What other sugar statistics would you like to see?

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  8. Anonymous says:

    Hi I’m a 38 year young woman seeking a fun, handsome older man. I love dancing, movies, going out to dinner and most times just having a good conversation. I’m not a gold digger but I don’t a stingy man either. just looking for a good time and it doesn’t always have to be sexual.

  9. I’m looking for a man that is in his 50 or older,that will take care of me with no questions ask, I’m health and nice looking ladies.I am just looking for a male only.

  10. […] home base is one of the top locations in the US for sugar relationships.  In fact, according to a very old article on SeekingArrangement, my city is in the top 20!  Over the past few years, I’ve had a great amount of success in my area, and it’s led […]

  11. ChairmanTwoOne says:

    Here’s a thought on interpreting statistics that has served me well: Say, one in a thousand people are missing a leg. Then, statistically the average person has 1.999 legs. In turn, you can state that 100% of the population has less than two legs. Ridiculous eh? Well the stats on this page are a ball-park figure. The saying ‘Your milage may vary’ has never been more relevant.

  12. Katherin says:

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    else know such distinct about my problem. You’re wonderful!

  13. kathy says:

    Im new to this site. Love the Idea! I woud love to hear from you. I need tips on how to get started. Hello??? Anyone listening??? test???

  14. AliciaNoKeys says:


  15. flly says:

    @erseshia disregard prior

    I think I see a new business opportunity here as profile consultant

  16. flly says:

    @erneshia – you’ll have to send the posting number or ask the blog god to send me your email.


  17. SA marketing stunt says:

    I don’t believe these $ amount in city wise. Site its showing sugar to attract the more and more sugar babies. Just a marketing stunt. 4000 to 5000 per month for 4 to 6 meetings in a months. So lot of hookes joint this site to moke 800 to1000 a night. Or most of girls expect highest amount per month so most of time deal dont work out.

  18. erneshia says:

    I mean my profile.

  19. erneshia says:

    @flyr Could you look at my photos because I have alot of views but not many responses?

  20. flyr says:

    @SweetJ – thanks

    @tiff – I would give him the summary what kind of a man you are looking for and what type of an allowance you are looking for. The alternate is to say you would like to discuss it when you meet but you are not interested in social dating or not being with a gentleman (more carefully worded).
    Your question is a good one with no right answer. You can put enough cards on the table so that there’s no misunderstanding that an allowance is required. I tend to look carefully as to whether the text or reply says pay for my apartment or help pay for my apartment.

  21. Tiffany says:

    Ok need everyones help very excited a sd pot has just asked me what are my needs, wan’ts, and desires how do I answer this? Should I be striaght? Give him a list of things maybe an allowance amount or what? I don’t wan’t to mess this up. Very excited he approached me, he made the first move. Please I really don’t want to scare him off by saying the wrong thing!

  22. Sweet J says:

    Thanks for the response flyr… Especially saying that 34 is a “prime age” 🙂 I agree. Post-divorce and needing to pay bills is what drew me to the site, so I can empathize with those SBs. The biggest indulgence in this for me is the fancy dinners. I really love good food, so that’s an absolute perk. But it would be nice to have someone consistent.

  23. flyr says:


    I agree fully on the stats. I don’t know if it is sample bias, reporting etc, but, the reality seems much different. There’s also a self interest to increase the reported number in that it benefits the SBs (or is believed to do so) and the site in that it encourages more SB to join

    The use of averages also has a huge impact on the number while the median is a more representative number. I doubt that the median exceeds $1,500-$2,000 and that with some of the upper ranges involving a relationship with some aspects that are not acceptable to many.

    Over the past few years I have met several pot SB who had a SB relationship in college and thought they were beyond that only to have a drastic reduction in their income or that of their divorced spouse and now want to re=enter in their 30s. As one put it, “I try to explain to pots that I am not here to go to fancy places, travel , buy shoes etc, I need to save my home. I’m looking for consistency and perhaps discretion as I have another life”
    Aside from those who are really focused on arm candy to impress others and those who are insecure with a little more mature women, 34 would seem to be a prime age.

    Quality photos need not be sleazy, nothing more than you would take at the beach, perhaps less. My pet peeves are the bathroom mirror photos that have a bunch of junk in the background. Same for photos with the face scratched out. If you want to hide your face either wear dark glasses or do a pose where your face does not show.

  24. Sweet J says:

    I have to say, these statistics seem so far from reality…

    I’m sure there are a few girls that get lucky, but an average 4000 to 5000 budget (especially from the just-barely-getting-by Rust Belt cities that made the list) seems completely false. I can attest to that.

    At 34, I know that I am older than the average SB on this site. Maybe that is enough to make things very difficult for me. But I am constantly told that I look younger than my real age. I have chosen not to put nearly nude photos up. Maybe that is another issue for me. But I have my scruples. Otherwise, I think that I write well, I am very sensual, I have a lot to offer… But all I get is sleazy pay-to-play types, or nervous married guys who never find time to meet.

    I call BS on these “statistics.”

  25. flyr says:


    Those are some attractive profiles.

    I am probably a little jaded but when I see someone say something like I’ve never done this before but I am tired of all the bs my red light goes off. Not exactly what the profile said but close.

    I am not much for negative messages. Let what you are not interested in come through with your positive statements..

    I like an older man who treats me like an intellectual equal and a sensual miracle.

    I’m looking for someone who understands why this site exists and why it is appropriate for a young woman seeking to achieve her dreams.

    I am cautious so you must be willing to share and trust, but you will be well rewarded

    Again I really encourage you to carefully check what you are writing if you are promising the whole package. Would love to see an ad that said something like “I’m not a rocket scientist, but you’ll understand why you don’t care.

    Photos – the three all had exceptional photos

    Above all be consistent and be quality. Be precious Be strong

    Woven into the message in a positive way is the message that those looking for endless emails, calls or free samples will find they have wasted their time.

    SD/SB relationships are like sharks – they are moving ahead or they are dying.

  26. Tiffany says:

    @ flyr Thank you flyr can you please look over these profiles for me? Tell me should mine sound similar? 865527, 798099, 612485 Thank you so much!

  27. pricelesslady says:

    So were can i find a real sugerdaddy because these sites has alot of scamers and liers and all im looking for is a good time with a clean cut guy and good conversation n

  28. flyr says:


    You asked for comments on your profile. I’m 2,000 miles away so a lot of what I am going to say is a guess. Please take these as constructive.

    Too many photos – the one of you by the door black skirt and red shoes is great. Pick or make photo of your face with a big smile and perhaps one more but I think most of us guys are here looking for drama free so smiles are good. With photos less is more unless there is something exceptional . .

    There are some inconsistencies. One of the secrets of Apple’s success is that they work very hard to deliver consistency in hardware, software and customer experience. Nothing is left to chance.

    When I see “short or long term” I think by the hour . That’s not value enhancing. A lot of guys will ask. .

    Your financial objective is inconsistent with the above. I would probably opt for to be determined unless you are not interested if less. You may have read the data published or heard some of the success stories here . I trust the stories here but I think some are the exception rather than the rule . My guess is that in today’s world most arrangements fall into the $1-$3/mo range, it’s based on recent experience in socal. .I’m not into submissive so I do not have a feel for the value enhancement.

    I would take your descriptions of who you are and what you want in a man and rewrite them on word or wp and then run spelling and grammar check, unless you want a much more casual presentation. I think it is value enhancing to write carefully. You can always go casual on the phone call or emails. You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

    To me it’s really important that you be consistent in your message.

    Why is this woman special . That there is a submissive and crazy side will be attractive to some men. What will you add to his life.

    The special man she is looking for Older , traveler , etc , look for something that resonates

    When you have finished the drafts (self description and ideal man) on word, let them sit overnight and then edit as required.

    Hope this helps.


  29. Juelz says:

    They look pretty accurate, but it seems i need to move haha 🙂

  30. ERNESHIA says:


  31. Tiffany says:

    @flyr my profile number is 653475 please help!

  32. flyr says:

    cars and watches

    Norcal was exactly right. Lots of us who can afford a SB are not into flash.

    As they say on OC, you are what you lease.

    I’m able to afford a SB because I owe nothing on my cars (usually drive the old one), virtually nothing on my home and am not looking for arm candy to validate my existence.

  33. Tina says:

    @ flyr: come join the convo on the new blog topic – it’s gotten interesting…….. 😉

  34. flyr says:

    @ tiffany How to we id your profile

  35. NorCal Guy says:

    @euphoria, supposed to rain for the next 4 days, but that means snow in the Sierra’s and I love to ski, so I am at peace with that too!

    Thanks again all, I appreciate the comments. I have a meet and greet today, all’s good.

  36. Tiffany says:

    Please will any one,look my profile over and tell me what im doing wrong?

  37. adawson314 says:

    SD in North Carolina (Raleigh Area)…drop me a line to my geeeeee-mail account with my username above!

  38. AnnaMW says:

    Come on Blog Gods! I need to make a girl-date with Honey!

  39. Honey says:

    Vanilla, I just LOVE meeting new people, I think I may be a business woman socialite. Blog gods!!!My kingdom foe an email (address) Tell me when to pencil you in!
    Gotta go to bed, just got my new hot pants and I HAVE to start back Horseback riding!! and that 35 sessions of personal training….Took a nap today, it was Heaven…sleep can be like candy….

  40. VanillaSugar says:

    @Honey Hey! I’m planning a trip to Houston in a cpl of months. If you’re in town, hopefully we can grab a drink or something if you want. I would love to meet other SB’s that can share their insight and wisdom!

  41. PhoneGuy says:

    @Norcal, it is a very fine line though between 0 weekends and 1 weekend. 😉

    @Tina, you have no idea how hard I’ve worked to not use that word in the last few days. 😉

  42. Honey says:

    Just keep chugging away at it , ladies. Guys love to find a hard working lady who values her time and knows her worth. I’ve met most of my guys when I was the busiest!. I take out my franklin covey and explain how I maybe be able to squeeze them in and they get in where they fit in.
    Wish i could each a class…..

  43. brooklynbelle says:

    Why can’t I find the dream arrangement? I want the guy who will email and text when he’s thinking of me, but get that I have a life! Why is it so hard to have a genuine older or understanding man who I can keep up with through the week, and fly me out one or two weekends to let me indulge in my foodie nature and go to the museum and the movies? Where the heck is the guy who wants to be in my book club (I swear I’m open to a good read, I’m an English major!), or show me his car collection. I shy away from guys my age because I don’t really want the “cling”, I have a life, I just want to be stimulated, kind of taken away for a second. Guys on campus don’t give me that. I want to travel, I love to shop(I mean, its nature :)), I love to eat, I love being introduced to new music and people. Also, I love to be noticed, given appreciation, maybe even romanced.

    I’m far from ugly and I’m not fat, I’m not greedy either (I have a job to support myself, though I can relate to wanting new nice things occasionally and spending $$, I would never be so greedy and vain like some ladies, but to each his own). I haven’t really had the race issue, I am African American, and I don’t have an issue with other ethnic groups. I just don’t get how the young bunny who probably has like 5 other SDs and boyfriends IRL can get these great men who eventually end up upset because she asks too much money, lies, can’t really keep chemistry, etc and I can’t get someone who doesn’t have much time to offer but the time is real and appreciated. I’m not looking for forever, but I kind of want a while, someone to help me grow and enjoy me, you know?

    I just don’t get it. -_______-

    anyway, men are funny. you meet the great girls, but don’t want to put the effort in! you work all the time, why is is so hard to make travel arrangements for your SB? why is it so hard to make a getaway for a weekend? I had one pot who claimed his schedule was so open to an arrangement we discussed, 1500 a mo, plus gifts(got a really nice michael kors watch that I was going to buy myself once), travel for meetings, meals, and entertainment. Its not like I asked for louis vuitton bags every month, I’m a practical (but savvy) college student, not a greedy professional. He says he didn’t want to go through the travel thing every month for one weekend. I don’t feel like thursday night-sunday evening was unfair? I thought we had a genuine connection and attraction, he wasn’t even pressuring me for sex. What went wrong?

  44. ZoeyAmber says:

    I am pretty much ready to delete my SA profile.. again.

    I’m really annoyed by getting contacted by guys that are fakes/no shows/total bums. It really makes me want to rip my hair out.

    Today, I had a “SD” emailing me to meet up.. however I had errands to run, so I politely asked to reschedule for tomorrow. He emailed me back essentially begging to meet for 5 minutes so he could verify I was who I was and wasn’t 400lbs or a golden retriever. I said okay, meet me at a spot in Manhattan.

    Suddenly the frequent emails stopped and you see where this is going. I’m also annoyed that I had to walk home since the transport wasn’t running.. ugh. I am thinking I’m never going to wind up finding a legitimate SD here in NYC of all places. :\

  45. Midwest SB says:

    Norcal Guy – That is how my l/d arrangements worked. Usually one long weekend 3-4 days and we could plan a great mini vacay. Some have a hard time spending that much time together at once, but I rather enjoyed it. That said, it can be hard to match up schedules sometimes. I’ve had to wait five weeks, but it wasn’t for lack of trying, nor was I screaming emergency. One of my fave SDs has a second place in Napa. If he’s lurking, I’m sure it would be nice to have someone to share sugar tales. If you travel south, there are some fellow blog sugars in LA as well.

    Tina – No worries! I’d love to know where you come up with those great emoticons! Do you have an add-on to use them? What browser?

    AnnaMW – I frequently see wealthy men driving everyday cars. Of course, they may have a fun one to drive in good weather. They say that it draws less attention and that since they replace it every few years, they don’t really believe in putting a lot of money into a car. Their hobbies can be interesting though…one has a hangar full of old war vehicles/ planes and another has a passion for rare books/ prints. I love learning the stories behind the hobbies.

  46. Tina says:

    oooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Prince Charming said the “e” word! 🙂

  47. Honey says:

    Thank you thank you thank you!
    Honey would like Summer, AnnaMW and anyone else who wants my email girls, please.

  48. Prince Charming says:

    @NorCal Guy
    Wow, sounds like one of my former SBs almost exactly. I learned that lesson, bail out of the arrangement as soon as bad flaky/no show behavior shows. I’ve had previous SBs cancel, or even no-show on dates, but they always made an effort to make it up. Then the SB I had about a year ago — with a twice a week arrangement — managed to not show for 2-3 weeks at a time, and then a month, and suddenly decided she wanted to see me as soon as I went to pull the plug. Your SB was a bad apple like mine, and you made the right move to get out of the arrangement — she was using you, not being a proper SB.

    I’m in a similar situation appearance wise, I live in an older, but very comfortable house, and drive one older car (and a new car I got from trading my seldom-used Porsche in for something more useful to me.) Externally few people have any idea I have wealth, though is someone googles me I’m outed. I think real SBs will give you a chance to reciprocate / demonstrate that you’re sincere quite early on if you have chemistry, and then the proof is in the pudding, so to speak. Honestly, you’re better off without a SB that’s judging you this way, as it indicates she’s coming from the wrong place — entitlement — rather than the right one, which is reciprocity. It also says the SB is all about the money, while good SDs usually have many other things they bring to the table in addition to just cash.

  49. euphoria says:

    Your very close to home nor Cal guy. Blog gods, can you please pass nor Cal guy my email address. Ty
    Nor Cal Guy hows the weather out there?

  50. Tina says:

    @NorCal Guy: I’m glad to hear that you still have a positive outlook on your experience. Good luck on finding what you’re looking for. And I’m sorry that you had the bad experience, but hopefully you have gained insight, and to quote Guru “don’t make her problems your problems”. 🙂

  51. NorCal Guy says:

    Hey thanks for the comments, this is great. I am in the Sacramento area. We would get together usually a weekend or long weekend a month. Most I ever saw her in a month was 4 nights,

    It was going to be from March 22 to May 4 before she could see me, and I was actually still at peace with that, if she didn’t expect me to “help her out” regardless. I am being much more selective and careful in my screening process this time around. 🙂

    Thanks Phoneguy, and Midwest SB, I reckon I was being taken advantage of……but that’s ok, I had some fun along the way.

  52. AnnaMW says:

    @ NorCal Guy – I can’t believe a girl had the nerve to question your ability to meet her needs over choosing not to drive a flashy car. There are a lot of fakers out there, but there are a hundred more tactful ways to discern.

    Your former SB sounds like a “bad apple” as we discussed several blog posts ago. I actually hear stories about deadbeat SBs frequently and its really disheartening. Anyone who expects to be given the world without reciprocating really doesn’t get it. Sorry you went through that and I wish you better luck in the future. I promise we aren’t all that way.

  53. Tina says:

    Phone Guy likes jailbirds….???? 😀

  54. Midwest SB says:

    Roll call please so I don’t have to do this too oflen…
    Honey, summer &Anna then ArcadiaSB (Hiya) and LondonSB?

    Norcal guy – It honestly sounds like she was using you. Sorry to see that happen to nice guys. How long were you two together? She must not realize how difficult it is to find an SD who is willing to be so helpful. She soon will and I expect she will be calling you back. As they say…her failure to plan does not constitute your emergency. Welcome!

  55. PhoneGuy says:

    @Norcal Guy, I don’t know how often you two saw each other, but a month is a definite deal breaker for me. No one is that busy…unless she shows me a hospital receipt…or a court document showing she was in jail.

  56. euphoria says:

    Norcal Guy where in nor Cal are you from? Welcome to the blog!

  57. Honey says:

    Yes, please do drop me a line and stop by! Would love to have you out to the ranch, or we can stay in the city!. Maybe Summer will drive us around in her Land Rover!

  58. euphoria says:

    Grasshopper- Eeew, fisting is something I’d never try. The idea of it makes me want to vomit.

  59. Tina says:

    @SDinLA: smooches to you my dear! It’s lovely to see you back on the blog! 🙂

    @MW: I’m sorry I was already asleep when you had the emoticon request! DRAT!

    Oh lordy, we’re discussing Mt. Rushmore again? How do we keep repeating some of these topics?

    Had a REALLY crappy day at work, so I think a little pampering is in order tonight………I hope everyone else had a much better day!

  60. NorCal Guy says:

    First time post here and I am very glad I found this blog.

    I wear bluejeans and drive a Subaru and had a date question my ability to meet my end of deal because of it. I found her comment offensive, but after reading this, I guess she was just trying not to be led along by a faker.

    I have had one arrangement and it just ended because she wanted me to help her out of her financial mess, (in addition to monthly stipend) which I was willing to do, but she could not find a single day to see me in April so I felt taken advantage of. She did not understand my point of view at all and she ended it and I felt really bad about it because I thought I must be missing something. I feel better about the experience as a whole now that I have stumbled into this blog, so thanks for that.

  61. AnnaMW says:

    Honey! I’m going to be in your neck of the woods really soon. Can the Blog Gods hook us up?

  62. AnnaMW says:

    @ Philly and PhoneGuy –

    I definitely appreciate a well dressed man, but I hardly assess a persons wealth based on their clothing or car. One of the wealthiest men I know (high millions) drives an old car and lives in a house that I could afford.

    That having been said, I *love* mens watches and always notice an expensive pair of shoes. I love reversing roles and taking my SDs shopping for stuff that looks great on them. I take as much pleasure in that as I do shopping for myself and most guys have really appreciated it.

    Anyway, I used to look at profiles in the 10M+ range with enough profile detail to make it seem plausible, but that was a pretty dumb strategy. Some of the sweetest, most generous people I’ve met haven’t necessarily been the ones with the deepest pockets. I’d rather be with someone I genuinely enjoy than the guy with the “best offer”.

  63. Grasshopper says:

    Re: Mt. Rushmore Tattoo
    :::asks “fisting?…anyone????..looks at euphoria:::

  64. Honey says:

    T was in Singapore for a few weeks back in the states.Blog gawds!!! give lovely young Summer my info, when and if you get the chance,please. I am lonely with no one to visit!

  65. Arcadia SB says:

    London SB: I’m thinking about going, but not sure yet. If the blog God’s will pass along my e-mail to you, there are a couple of other London/UK SBs I’ve been in touch with. Maybe we can go as a group! Safety in numbers!

  66. Summer says:

    Philly SB- yes divorce is probably a bummer but the point Im making, is when a guy is young, he is missing the possibility of meeting a better match and his wife could also. Kids know the difference between fake and not fake. 2 people sitting together versus 2 people in love sitting together – like at a kids soccer game…i mean kids are not stupid, I think its just as hurtful to waste life in a loveless situation. Like you said, everyone has a different perspective but anytime I broke up with someone, I always met someone SO much better…you grow and you look for different and better qualities…when you are 18 or 20, what do you really know about picking a lifetime mate. Im sure parts of what you said are right, but you completely left out the possibility of any positive outcome? Why…you think divorce is a doom no matter what?

  67. London SB says:

    Is any ladies from London attending the coming Party on the 20th May? I really want to go but would like to get in touch with other ladies attending. Please get in touch… 🙂 x

  68. Summer says:

    Honey I love Texas, I thought you were in Singapore (nice place also!)…I love Dallas more than Houston but ive only been to H once….Im sure the downtown part would be cute and more built up with cafe’s etc than when I was there….How do we PM so we can exchange info? it would be fun to go look at mercedes with you there! And lets go look at range rovers for me!

  69. Summer says:

    Ladies, is there a way to get a gentlemen to give a gift card id # so that I can use it for a bill or to deposit it. With them getting my name off paypal…i would like to have another more anonymous option. Im getting some creepy mail and none ever say how they are going to share, just I want this, I want that….

  70. SDinLA says:

    Here’s a pic of PART of Dorky’s penis:


  71. euphoria says:

    Honey- I tend to veer away from TX. I’ve had traumatic expirences there. If you want to come visit me in CA,miami, or NY sometime… You are more then welcome to come. There’s great shopping in all three states. 🙂

  72. Honey says:

    hello ladies,euphoria,madison…are we still playing nice?
    so rich sugarbaby come see me. fly down or something,let’s stop bitching and start shopping. and I just got up from a nap, so I do have time to waste on a blog… Good afternoon How’s everyone today?

  73. Midwest SB says:

    PS- Planning a family weekend in the WI Dells soon. Has anyone been? I’d love some tips of favorite places and places to avoid. Thanks!

  74. Midwest SB says:

    Hey Stormy! How’s the Spring in NY?

    SDinLA! How’s the farm..er fam? See what I did there… Did you hear us beckon you?

    PhoneGuy – You’ll have to risk being compared to Mt. Rushmore (aka DorkyGuy)

    I hope a new topic is coming soon. Have any of you had issues with the page taking a while to load?

  75. euphoria says:

    Grasshopper English is actually a second language to me. I am also posting from a 7″ touch screen tab. So yes the auto correct and having the words so close to each other is a big issue. I’ve actually taken many English classes. Thanks for your concern.

  76. Stormcat says:

    Jon ~ Welcome to the blog. The Idea of getting to know other SDs who are, like you “winging it” is a good idea. Discretion and trust is definitely an important aspect of that camaraderie here. This blog is a good place to get a start as there are friendships established here and people regularly get to know each other in a supportive way. All you have to do to contact someone off blog is post that you would like the Blog Gods (our name for the mods) to give your email addy to that person and they will a private message with that info in it. I’m located in NY but would be happy to make another friend in London. So . . . Blog Gods if Jon agrees would you kindly give him my email addy. Thank you

  77. Grasshopper says:

    @PhoneGuy – YES!!!..heh

  78. ContentSB says:

    Welllll…it’s not too late….

  79. PhoneGuy says:

    I knew I should have posted that pic of my penis. 😉

  80. ContentSB says:

    @PhoneGuy — uh, duh!!! Can’t you tell by all of the super steamy scandalous sex chatter going on?? 😉

  81. PhoneGuy says:

    OMG, this is a sex blog?!?!

  82. PhoneGuy says:

    Nice post. I liked it.

    She screens POTs by looking at their watches and shoes on first meetings, to see if they are real SDs and wouldnt waste her time.

    Im thinking they either don’t pay much attention to their appearance because they think they have their personalities / bank accounts / natural good looks going for them, or perhaps they do it on purpose as to not attract any gold diggers.
    Oy vey, if any pot SB ever decides on a second date with me by looking at my watch (what watch?) or my shoes, I’m out of luck. 😉

    I can only tell you why I dress the way I dress. Usually it is for comfort. If I’m dressing up to look good for a pot, there is only so far I would go for someone I don’t know. I’ve considered buying a certain car or a nice watch so I can signal to all these women that I’m worth their time. I go back and forth on the issue. For one thing it’s a waste of money. For another, having a nice car doesn’t mean I have money (maybe I’m spending it all on the car). Also just because I have money doesn’t mean I will give it to someone. 😉

    Guru says don’t reward bad behavior and spending a lot of money on a fancy car is kind of doing that. If I’m looking for an easy going, nice girl who likes me for me, why would I put out signals to possibly spoiled girls with bad attitudes?

    I prefer for there to be a little trust (in both directions) between the SB and SD…it’s shouldn’t take long for each to see what the other is about and to know what each can expect. Talk is cheap and actions speak volumes.

    Some really thoughtful, fair, mature, nice posts today. You people impress me.

  83. Madison says:

    I’m have to go back to work, unfortunately. I would love to be at the beach right now sipping a drink. The day I have to lie about being at work LOL shoot me please!!!!! Love ya girls, even when you’re catty!! XOXO

  84. euphoria says:

    Hmm, thinking about younger sb’s gets me thinking. When i am out with my sd/so/bf… alot of times people ask if the guy that im with is my father. I’ve always loved it when people ask this, and i simply laugh and tell them that its my lover. I often times get carded too, and have even been denied the right to buy a drink on several occasions because I didn’t have my I.d on me at the time. I love it when this happens, its so controversial. Does anyone else have this happen to them when they are out with their sds?

  85. Grasshopper says:

    @euphoria – GAWD you’re such a hater! Why don’t you give it a rest every now and then…Maybe you should put all that energy into learning how to spell words correctly, instead. At first I chalked it up as “typos”..but the more you post the more it becomes evident that you are bordeline illiterate. (and that “auto-correct” that you blame everything on…um, yeah, not buying it)

  86. Madison says:

    Oh god I wish I was 19 living at home! That would be great. No work just sitting at home. I should convince my mom to take me back!!

  87. euphoria says:

    Madison isn’t that what your doing right now? There you go.. contradicting yourself again. Its like I said. You don’t have to lie to kick it.

  88. Madison says:

    Wish I had free time like you guys just sitting around on a monday commenting on sex blogs!

  89. euphoria says:

    Madison- I heard that your SD took you to target. Welcome tto the real world!
    Lol, Madison is probably like 19 and still lives at home with mommy and daddy. That’s probably why she complains about going to target! She’s probably never had to actually shop for dish soap, and toilet paper in her life. Therefore, she dsnt understand that just about every adult takes that trip to target/wall mart at least once a month.

  90. babydoll says:


  91. ContentSB says:

    @PhillySB — Next!! He’s seriously trolling for webcam girls?? Goodness.

  92. PhillySB says:

    Hey guys, what do you think about this message? Lol

    Hey you are beautiful. read my profile and get back to me if you see anything that interests you. maybe we can talk on skype facebook or text me *** ******* hope to hear from you. im a gold total acess and pay to be on the site so you can respond, so you know no bs here, so hope you dont mind me asking you to prove thats you in the pics and also im looking for a companion for a birthday celebration my bday is april 16th so im looking to get to know someone and set up plans for a vacation or cruise or something.If your not interested, Also im hiring for my webcam chat site $36+ an hour or with my team with ADT Security as i am a sales executive with them. ttys

  93. Madison says:

    Hey peeps!

    OMG you people need a life if you’re still talking about me LOL
    My papa and I are doing great I accepted the fact we are a couple and I will take care of his little girls. My prada shoes are shipping next month yay!!! I’m at work getting bored at my desk what are you guys up to except following madisons adventures? And oh no I don’t need to lie on a sex blog 😉 xoxoxoyou guys are sick.

  94. ContentSB says:

    @Euphoria — Thanks for sharing your experience with wyp…gives me some things to think about 🙂 Hope you’re doing well, too!

  95. Va Gentleman says:


    ” Are there any fashion faux pas that would cause you to write off a pot SB, or pot SD on sight? ”

    I seem to be late to the party having spent the weekend with my precious SB . It is a total turnoff to me for a woman to present herself as materialistic ,including high end clothing needs . I am coming from the experience of my wife being one of those fashion snobs . She looks great but I would rather have a more down to earth practical girl , which I do in my SB . She is so appreciative and not greedy in any way . I’ve been the high maintainenece way before .

    @ Madison

    ” I told him I don’t want to be his wife. I don’t want to be driving a mini van with 3 kids, wearing sweat pants. I don’t want to meet his parents. He said I hurt his feelings. 🙁 I don’t want to lose him though. Am I being to harsh???? ”

    I think it’s a miracle you still have him . You might be really good with your mouth in some ways but perhaps practice a little diplomacy and tact and he might stick around . ( Although I can’t blame you for not wanting to become soccer mom . )

  96. euphoria says:

    OK, lets all take it easy on little Maddy. She seems that she may still be a little new to the site. By the way her posts contradict themseleve, I’m assuming that she either hasnt had a sd yet, or is still a bit intimidated by the whole process.
    Madison you don’t have to lie to kick it. If you have any serious questions, or need help figuring out what the site is all about, feel free to post them in the blog. I’m sure that the older more experienced sb’s will still be willing to forgive the prior drama and both headed posts and help you out. All you have to do is ask. 🙂

  97. Va Gentleman says:


    ” Sad thing there are actually men here that really think we do come here looking to “fullfill fantasies”…. I come here to fullfill my fantasy of going to 5th ave buying those Prada Stilletos I’m been craving for weeks!!! ”

    Gee Maddy , that’s really funny and endearing . Your comment exemplifies the ultimate hooker mentality and not that of a true SB. A true SB ( and SD for that matter ) is someone who enjoys the company they keep and the benefits including mentorship, friendship , travel , etc , including cash. I hope that you don’t let that sardonic attitude come through in your dealings with pot SDs . Oh –maybe you are already having trouble finding/keeping a real SD ? Try reading Honey’s posts . She seems to truely like her SD(s)

  98. euphoria says:

    Content sb- I’ve used wyp before. With that site, I’ve found that I’ve had to be extremely direct. The first two or three guys wanted a meet and greet at their hotel/house. After speaking them and explaining to them that that’s not what I’m about, they agreed that it would be best if we just called it off.I found that editing my profile and putting that I will only meet in a public place, for coffee or dinner. Then I put that there is no way that I’d sleep with any of them on the first date. After that the offers seemed to get more respectable. I ended up meeting a few extremely nice guys, that were willing to travel to my city for dates. They were paying anywhere from $250. – $500 just to sit down and have a cup of coffee/lunch. It was actually kind of nice. I ended up going on a second date with a few of them. 🙂

  99. NC Gent says:

    Charis — regarding your question about intelligence becoming unattractive at some point… my third SB was very intelligent, but she could also be conniving and manipulative in subtle ways… that is one example I can think of where the intelligence became unattractive.

    Regarding the divorce option… there is another factor besides the kids… I own a mid-sized company with numerous employees that have families. Their livelihood is dependent upon the health of my company… a divorce creates a whole host of other issues… liquidation to come up with equity to buy her out? her becoming a 50:50 partner in the company? a divorce isn’t just about me and my immediate family… it encompasses the lives of hundreds of other people too.

  100. PhillySB says:

    I wanted to add something to the married men discussion also. I was a Psych major and am passionate about human behavior and relationships. While I don’t want to turn the theme of the blog into marriage counseling etc..lol I do wanna add my perspective on the subject. We’ve all heard this debate hundreds of times. The question on whether to get a divorce or stay together for the kids crosses every unhappy couple’s minds at one point or another. Some find love outside their marriage and don’t think twice about the people they hurt and leave behind, before they make their escape to pursue their own happiness. Some decide to suffer in silence and live lonely lives by simply coexisting in the same house as their spouse, while others find it easier to pretend that they found the answer; to lead a double life, going back and forth between a sad reality and an amazing fantasy. The question is CAN married couples stay together for the sake of the kids, not should they. Of course they SHOULD..they should try to work it out  but not sometimes the love just isn’t there.
    Many psychological studies have proven it. Divorce can cause children pain, stress, and confusion. It CAN alter their personalities and have a negative effect in their own relationships and marriages later in life. If you can spare your own child that kind of trauma, wouldnt you put your resentment aside and try to save a failing marriage? That alone is worth thinking about and sacrificing for. No child has asked to be born. Adults bring them into existence. If we have the capability of reproducing, shouldn’t we have the capability of responsibility? But the truth is, staying together doesn’t guarantee anyone’s happiness, not even the children’s! Some people should have never married in the first place. Staying together would not help anyone in some cases because when a child sees how miserable or abusive their parents are together, that makes an even bigger impact on them. Thinking to themselves ‘my parents don’t love each other’ is truly hurtful and confusing for a kid. But thinking ‘my parents hate each other but have to be miserable because of me’ isn’t any better either. The guilt will take a toll on them later. With that said I think it’s all up to the individuals responsiblity for raising the child. Divorced parents can be civil with one another and be devoted to their children’s health and happiness just as well as parents who are happily married can. So I don’t think that ‘staying together for the children’ is a good excuse at all. But sometimes that’s the way it is. Just as a person can be selfish by leaving their spouse and child for another man/woman, they can be equally selfish by staying in a loveless marriage and having affairs. just because they don’t want to face their true responsibilities and be ‘man enough’ to do the right thing, set their partner free, teach their kids right from wrong and move on with life.. but to say that all married men who are SDs are cowards is unfair. I’m certain there are lots of them out there. But family dynamics and marriages are complicated and no one but the people involved can  know what really goes on.. So I don’t judge an SD if he’s married or single. I have to know a lot more about them and how they treat people in order to decide if I want to be involved with one.
    In my short sugar life (couple years now) I have encountered many of those coward SDs and I know how pathetic they can be. A very arrogant SD from NJ once answered a call from his poor wife while he was having lunch with me, on our very first meeting, without excusing himself or anything. Telling her how he’s not far (he was 2 hours away in downtown Philly) and when she asked him to come home for lunch because she made his favorite meal he told her he was having lunch with Joe (name changed – in case he reads this, although I don’t care if he does) and that he says hello. He had the nerve to give her a goodbye kiss too, while winking at me. And when I asked him about his marriage he confidently said “It’s convenient. But the sex ain’t great. That’s why you’re here” I was cringing the whole time and couldn’t wait to get out of there. I didn’t feel too great about myself that day.
    Oddly enough, most of the POTs I’ve seen were married. They have some advantages over the single ones in my situation. Single SDs always want to invite me back to their place or come over mine and want to spend way too much time with me. They also want to know too much info about me. I prefer a discrete arrangement where we only meet a couple of times a week to a couple times a month and we keep our lives separate. Married SDs are perfect for that so I have no choice but to be involved with one. I’m very selective however and I don’t tolerate bullshitting assholes. 😀
    Oh look, the Sun is up, the birds are chirping and I never got my beauty rest.. Good thing I’m not meeting any POTs today lol. Have a wonderful day sugars

  101. PhillySB says:

    Hello all. Hope everyone enjoyed their Easter / weekend. I’ve been reading this blog for hours now, thanks to a returning case of terminal insomnia 🙁 I had lots to catch up on, on oh boy! There’s more drama here than on the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Lol. This being a virtual world where people can type whatever they please while hiding behind their computer screens, it’s easy to get carried away and say some inappropriate things. Inflating your own ego in the cyber world (where no one knows you or really about you as much as you think) actually reflects your personal insecurities.. so try not to take yourself so seriously on here! It’s just a blog. I doubt you all would be so nervy in person. Just some food for thought. Don’t mean to offend anyone. Just can’t blv some of the comments here …
    Moving on, I’d like to comment on the fashion topic. First of all, those 50s cars inspired Prada stilettos were absolutely ridiculous and I’d never buy them. But I’d wear them in a heart beat if I got them as a present 😀 They’re not exactly elegant, but some styles were pretty snazzy. I mean, did you see those crazy colors! Lol. One thing’s for sure; wherever you go wearing those you’ll capture the attention of all eyes in the room.
    As for the labels, I used to love them too and thought they were all the rage when I was a bit younger. I definitely was a clothing snob, but then I grew up. I still love certain designers and would spend as much as I could afford on some of those overpriced pieces. But that’s because I think they are stylish and/or are made well. Not because they’re made by xyz.. Now I laugh when I see some of the girls walking around in my city, covered in logos. Like a walking advertisement, as someone said before. A fellow SB I made friends with online (on SD4ME) used to tell me all about the good luck she had with one of her SDs and all the Tiffany jewelry he bought her.. to be honest I felt quite jealous because I love jewelry and because I wasn’t even getting any dates at that point. Well one day she and I decided to get together and of course she was flaunting every single piece of jewelry in her closet.. it was quite a sight to see. I had imagined platinum rings and diamond earrings but all he got her were a couple of sterling silver pieces with the Tiffany & Co logo on them. Lol! She also told me that successful men know how to spend their money and like to dress well and show their worth. She screens POTs by looking at their watches and shoes on first meetings, to see if they are real SDs and wouldnt waste her time. In my experience though its been quite the opposite. Some of the most generous, successful and REAL SDs I met either had a very simple and refined taste in clothing (what I prefer most) or dressed like hobos for some odd reason lol. Im thinking they either don’t pay much attention to their appearance because they think they have their personalities / bank accounts / natural good looks going for them, or perhaps they do it on purpose as to not attract any gold diggers. Bottom line, trends will come and go but style is timeless. And I have to agree with Dorky guy, if a person looks nice that’s what matters. How much they paid for their shoes/watch is none of my concernrn. I’d rather them spend that money on me anyway 😛

  102. Jon says:

    I am surprised by the density of sugardaddies: a few per one thousand.

    I live in London and although that city is not on your list I believe there must be hundreds if not more daddies out here. I wonder if there is a way for us to connect? I do not think I am the only one who would like to exhange experiences with trusted members from this site. My guess is most daddies are playing this alone, wondering whether they make mistakes, can optimize their search or negotiating skills and what have you.

    I can also imagine some may want to join other sd/sb couples for joint activities like dinners, vacations, etc. For many this may be a discreet thing, kept away from your regular social circle, but does that mean you always want to be just the two of you?

  103. Cupcakes and Condoms says:

    I’m actually kind of surprised to see the two cities I split my time between are pretty high on that list. Not sure if that’s a good thing or bad thing.
    Anyways, it’s been awhile since I’ve been on this blog, I took a break from all things sugar related. I’m debating if I should reactivate my profile and try searching again, however I only have a couple months left of school before I go home (to a different city than the one I study in) and this time is going to be filled with finals and papers. So I need advice, wait till the summer/next school year or start now?

  104. ArcadiaSB says:

    I’ve missed you guys. Most people here (Midwest, guru, dorky, Anna, Tina, phone guy, etc etc…) have more eloquence, charm, and skill with a zinger in one sentence than I can achieve with a whole paragraph. I think the bloggers definitely show the quality of sugar dating…except for the occasional troll… Why can’t all Sd’s and Sb’s be like the ones here?

  105. Lydia Bennett says:

    DaddyGT have you booked that flight yet??

  106. DorkyGuy says:

    I don’t have a degree, but I hire people who do 😉

  107. sonny burdine says:

    not interested

  108. SDinLA says:

    @everyone Hope you all had great Easters.

    @Midwest Welcome back! 🙂 :::waves:::

    @Summer you wrote, “I’m not interested in a porsche, they are too small inside and too expensive to maintain and a waste of money. I would prob get a jeep or range rover.”

    I’ve been one of the best customers of a large Land Rover dealer here in LA over the years (Ex wife was petite and liked driving a RR due to the high driving position vs. a luxury sedan) They are TERRIBLE for reliability and maintenance. MUCH worse than Porsche.

    In the last JD Power rankings, Porsche actually finished 4th in overall dependability. Land Rover were 3rd from worst, and Jeep were 2nd to last. So you’d better rethink your priorities as to what car to get! 😉

    re: women not being programmed to be attracted to old bald men. Actually, men are much more shallow than women. Study after study has shown that men are attracted to looks while women are attracted to power, wealth and status in men. Why do you think you see so many unattractive but powerful/wealthy men married to a really attractive woman?

    And I don’t have time to address all the other issues that have been discussed, so I am just going to pretend I didn’t read any of it. 😀

  109. Midwest SB says:

    Madison – Congratulations on all your degrees. I’m sure Steve Jobs (RIP), Ted Turner, Ralph Lauren and Bill Gates wish they were so lucky. Actually, the real reason is that I screen relentlessly. This way I don’t waste my time with men I haven’t already built a rapport. It’s just that simple.

    Charis – It looked as though your question was directed specifically to NC Gent and flyr, so know that you weren’t overlooked intentionally. I agree with flyr though 🙂

    Off to bed …Tina help with a goofy sleepy emoticon!

  110. AnnaMW says:

    @ Madison – Are you trying to get people to not like you on purpose? I’ve taken your posts seriously up until this point and approached you respectfully, but it’s getting hard to tell if you’re being facetious. From openly touting your financial abuse of the poor sucker you’re dating, to claiming your undying love for him, to quoting Schopenhauer. You are one complicated woman! I mean that in the nicest possible way.

  111. Madison says:

    Watching Toddlers & Tiaras… I would be a great pageant mom. Ha!

  112. Charis says:

    @ Flyr- thanks for your response to my intellegence question. It comforts me.

  113. Tina says:

    Thanks Phone Guy! Now I’m off to bed for another early morning tomorrow! Have a wonderful Monday my lovelies! 🙂

  114. PhoneGuy says:

    >Pi isn’t flyr, but add a little r squared and we’ve come full circle……..
    @Tina, Ha, love it.

  115. Madison says:

    So the meal I cooked didn’t come out as bad. I’m awesome!!!!! I can follow recipes… what an accomplishment. We seriously need a life people. All of us. Argh, I used to hate blogs!! What’s wrong with me??? Oh…faceboook let me switch and harass my friends now. Mwahaha,…

  116. Tina says:

    @MW: don’t think I can stand, I’m the minion that’s too busy dancing! Oh yeah! Boogie down, boogie down! I love this avatar…..teehee…….

  117. Midwest SB says:

    Tina – stand beside me sweets! Your wit leaves me breathless!

    NYGirl, PhoneGuy & DG – <3 I've missed you so much!

    LASB – I'll send an e-mail. Thanks for the shout out.

    Euphoria – I'm beyond stuffed!

    Someone had a prank played that I wished I had thought of for penis pic guy. His friends put his number on craigslist. What if PP guy received tons of gay porn. Any legal ramifications? Of course I won't….but what a fun idea.

  118. Tina says:

    Pi isn’t flyr, but add a little r squared and we’ve come full circle……..

  119. flyr says:

    Tina I did not think that pi e was a traditional Easter dish.

  120. euphoria says:

    Omgz… ivanka trump.. I have the biggest crush on her. She is so sweet, pretty and smart! When i finnaly grow up, I wanna be just like ivanka!

  121. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: we gots us-selves a Paris down here…….not no Europe you talkin’ ’bout though……

  122. AnnaMW says:

    @ Midwest – You are SO right… There are many guys who appreciate intelligence, but coming across as arrogant seems to be a huge turnoff on both sides. When I had an active profile, I almost never responded to guys from the coasts, especially NYC finance types. I don’t gravitate towards those types IRL or in the sugar world.

    @ DorkyGuy – We have something in common then… I have a slight girl crush on Condi myself.

    To me, the woman who most exemplifies beauty and brains is Ivanka Trump. She’s about the most perfect woman I can think of… Having been born with everything, yet aspiring to accomplish more than anyone expected while remaining humble.

  123. Tina says:

    @Nawty: YUMMMMM!!!!!

  124. euphoria says:

    Mmm, what a great Easter Sunday I’ve had! Great food, great people,sunshine andgood times. Ill be needing to go on a long hike tomorrow. Gotta work off unbelievable amount of calories that come along with a holiday meal. Hope everyone else is having a wonderful day today. 🙂

  125. PhoneGuy says:

    @euphoria, exactly. And we dip everything in ranch and ketchup.

    @madison, I’m sorry, Europe? Is that in Texas?

    @summer, at least we both agree we don’t want to be with someone with a bad attitude. 😉

  126. Nawty Molly says:

    Ooops, dessert. Lol 🙂

  127. Tina says:

    Happy Easter all! I hope everyone had time to spend with their loved ones, or time alone if they so choose! 🙂

    @Dorky: yes, too much eye make-up can be scary. I’ve seen women that could use their eyelashes as weapons……

    @ Phone Guy: complete this sentence: 3.14159…….

    Just to throw it out there, I refuse to “dumb down” for anyone. I consider myself quite intelligent, and have a Bachelor’s degree from a prestigious school, and have a few other credentials I prefer not to list here. I can speak multiple languages, and learn others very quickly, and have done some traveling. With all that, I’m proud of the person I am and how I’ve gotten here. The road has been bumpy at times, but it is what made me who I am. For ANY relationship to work, IMHO, you have to be open and honest. I’m smart. If you don’t like it, then we’re not going to have a good time together. Of course, this doesn’t mean that I don’t do dumb things. Oh my is that list long. And some of it fun 😉

    BTW, bald men can SO be hot! I’ve NEVER gone after the baby faces, even when I was in my teens. I prefer a rugged, older look, and bald can be very sexy. I know someone that is quite attractive bald – he looks better bald than with hair – the bald head brings out a pair of drop dead gorgeous blue eyes.

    And Midwest, since you’re getting a cult following I’m going to change my avatar to be one of your minions. 🙂

  128. Nawty Molly says:

    I made a whole roasted chicken, Russian potatoes and spinach sauté. For desert, mixed berry shortcake with homemade ice cream. 🙂

  129. Madison says:

    I’m cooking tonight for my Papa. One word: disaster. No cooking ability here nevertheless….

  130. Madison says:

    Or as Schopenhauer once said so wisely: Modesty in the face of ability of hypocrisy. xoxo

  131. flyr says:

    Charis – I have to ask, is there a point where intellegence becomes unattractive?

    When it is arrogant, demeaning of others or overbearing.

    Old New England bit of wisdom “Empty wagons make the most noise”

  132. Madison says:

    I have tattooed on my rib cage: Was ihn nicht umbringt, macht ihn stärker. My ggrampa would be proud.

  133. Madison says:

    German peeps are still the best. Hitler just went overboard with the idea. 🙂

  134. Madison says:

    @NYGirl: me offend anyone? Noooooo of course not! 🙂 I just reply to catty comments equally.

  135. Madison says:

    Oh god, I just cant believe Mickey Rourke was so hot like this in the 80s! I can’t stop watching this over and over..

    “Suspicious minds are talking
    They’re trying to tear us apart
    They don’t believe in this love of mine
    They don’t know what love is”

  136. NYGirl says:

    Hitler , Nazi based their theories on Nietzche’ philosophy – would not be the best breakfast topic .

    I am a very serious girl and then I go out with a SD I like to be happy and silly.

    There are a lot of SDs on SA with only high school edu (they stated in profile) and they posted more than 1 million annual income.
    I always puzzled by this phenomenon .

    Madison. Did u try to offend Midwest with your 3 Lang , 2 bachelor comment ?
    If u did everyone will ignor you in here.

  137. Charis says:

    @NC Gent and Flyr- I appreciate that you see intelligence as an attractive point, however I have to ask, is there a point where intellegence becomes unattractive?

  138. Madison says:

    OMG I’m watching 9/12 weeks for the first time!! This strip tease scene is so f*ching hot!!! You can leave your hat on… super hot. I’m soooooooo trying this tonight. 🙂

  139. Madison says:

    As our friend Goethe once said: “We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.”

  140. Madison says:

    I found my SD who doesn’t mind talking about Nietzsche at breakfast but let me tell ya….it took years to find him!!!

  141. flyr says:

    I’ll second what NC had to say about intelligent women, especially those still in school. My guess is that our experiences are similar.

    It’s rewarding for both. Back in the dinosaur era when I was in grad school I knew a couple of young women who just sort of disappeared one night a week and for an occasional weekend. Those days it was a little scandalous but very common in today’s world.


  142. NC Gent says:

    All SDs that I know prefer intelligent woman. My first SB graduated from an Ivy league school. My second SB has a Master’s in Environmental Science. My third SB has a Bachelor’s from a prestigious private northeastern school, and she is currently working on her second Master’s degree. My current SB is a Biochemistry major at a top ACC school, and was valedictorian of her HS class. Maybe it is just the type of SD that you are attracting Madison?

  143. flyr says:

    Midwest SB wrote ” The best you can do is clearly state your case in your profile and ……. What you put in your profile will weed out those who aren’t interested immediately. ”

    Great comment- – Your requirements can be stated as $ or perhaps comfortably (but less precisely) with something like – I am looking for an allowance that will cover my apartment, car lease, etc . Or I want some help with my tuition and living expenses.

    Add a couple of things you would like to do wine tasting, skydiving, sailing, Europe, or perhaps indicate that you would prefer a discrete relationship.

    It also helps if you talk about travel – either you want to travel, don’t want to travel or are flexible.

    Where to you find space for all of this . Well, most of us do not care about your cats unless you are planning on having us at your place overnight.

  144. Madison says:

    @Summer: I found my current SD/boyfriend on the Diamond group. Very generous and very serious (almost too serious LOL) about an arrangement. We’ve been dating for almost 6 months now. Good luck! 🙂

  145. LASB says:

    Flyr and Madison – I’d have to say I’ve encountered a little of both from the SDs. But since I can’t fake anything, the ones who don’t want an intellectual type go running before we even meet. I’m totally ok with that. I would also agree with Midwest that the majority of sugar goes into my investments or business, and the return on those is what I use to splurge (lightly) when the time is right. I tend to splurge on experience rather than material goods, as my well-being gets more milage from adventure than say, a new handbag.

    Midwest – Can I contact you off the blog?

  146. Summer says:

    I dont see any of those blogs, its as if they changed the names to all of them. sugar daddy dating tips isnt there, i think i read the one by SD

  147. Madison says:

    @flyr: Perhaps you are the exception but I will tell you I met many, MANY SD’s and the majority of them prefer a dumb version of a SB, so they can manipulate and throw their BS anytime they want. SD’s want to be in total control, they don’t like intelligent, self-assured women who challenges them. I also found out SD’s don’t like if a SB is busy with school and work because it doesn’t leave much time for them. I have a long list of these types of SDs….met them, paid for my own drinks and left them talking to themselves.

  148. flyr says:

    Madison wrote “My favorite part of a SD’s profile and when they rightfully state at their poorly written profile: “Must be able to hold a conversation”. LOL LOL I laugh everytime I read this crap because if you really try to engage them in a serious conversation they have nothing to say or are not cultured enough to hold the conversation in the first place!”

    I think it is pretty easy to get to the bottom of the issue with an open ended question to the POT with a request for a written answer.

    With some trepidation – It’s been my personal experience that many of the women who claim to have been rejected for their intelligence were simply ignoring other issues. Exhibit A was a law school student who thought that political correctness was intelligence.

    Yes, there are some SD’s who are intimidated by intelligence, others who want to dominate and some who prefer that their SB be felt not heard. However, other than those looking for a a PTP arrangement, I believe they are in the minority.

    I love intelligent women, especially those who are working hard in school or a job. I’m much happier helping achieve their goals than buying more shoes or junk just because it has the right label. It doesn’t mean that an occasional shopping trip is out of order, only that it’s not the normal expectation.

    Midwest – It sounds like you have a great attitude towards the type of men you want around you. It always amazed me the Henry Kissinger was always with intelligent , younger women who had a lot of sparkle while some of our former Presidents seem only to have an appetite for those their own advisers would call trailer trash.

    Content – Hate to sound dumb but what’s WYP

  149. Madison says:

    @dorkyguy: A Europe is that thing full of pretty girls that want American SD’s cash. Oh, how we love that green thing that buys us pretty shoes!

    @ContentSB: Yeah, you might luck out though. I know I didn’t.

    @Midwest: Maybe because you don’t speak 3 languages, don’t have two bachelor’s degree from great schools and you never traveled the world. 🙂

  150. ContentSB says:

    @Madison — I figured. I highly doubt I’ll take anyone up on their offer, but I think it’s interesting there are so many more men in my city on WYP than SA. Probably because they’re just looking for an easy quick fix.

  151. Midwest SB says:

    Summer – I’m not entirely clear about which link you are requesting. Have you looked through the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” links that are always near the top right of the blog posts? Since you’re interested in a travel SD, I wrote tips for traveling to see an SD. I’ve had two long distance arrangements and really prefer them over local, so they might be helpful in what you are seeking. Guru has one called 5 stages of sugar located there as well. Most of those links are full of great information.

  152. Summer says:

    I did find someone interesting in the diamond group…I think for now I will just focus there, mainly because it just appears to me that they are sincerely trying to get an arrangement. And for the record, he is real old, well pretty old. He’s from my home town and he seems like a crazy old guy but I “get” him and I think he will be real funny and I know he can afford plane tickets so it would be really fun to go visit. I’ll post how it works out, hopefully since he’s really old, as you guys educated me on how desirable they are… he is not swamped with too many emails to not notice mine. I will use your AIDA and make my emails super eye catchy…!

  153. Summer says:

    Well think of it as we are all not going after the same guys, kind of like that shoe argument. We are not all going after the same pair of shoes so there are certainly enough shoes to go around.
    @Midwest…where is the link you referred a newbie to in an old blog called 5 rules to something….it was some forum where newbies can get questions answered.

    Im not interested in bashing anybody so Im cool with that. Lets all kiss and make up.

  154. Midwest SB says:

    Madison -Your generalizations do not fit my experiences in the least. It looks as though they don’t fit AnnaMW’s either. In fact, most successful sugars I know seldom have that issue. Perhaps It’s not your intelligence that turns them off. There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance and an intelligent person knows when they are crossing the boundaries. I will write off a handsome, intelligent, cocky man in a NY minute.

  155. DorkyGuy says:

    @Madison~ what is a europe? I’d look it up, but my dictionary is under a case of Coors and a mountain of dog-eared Playboy’s.

    @AnnaMW~ I am definitely sapiosexual. Smart chicks are hot 😉 I have to confess a minor crush on Condi Rice.

  156. Madison says:

    @ContentSB: Oh dear… I had more luck with SD’s than that WYP site. I went out on a date with a guy from WYP ( that was 2010) and he immediately thought I was a whore and thought I was going to sleep with him for that dinner and 100 bucks. After that miserable date, I deleted my profile. Maybe you will have more luck than me.

  157. Summer says:

    How are the guys exchanging the cash for you? I would just think of it as gas money, that 34 yr old could be married and he wouldnt offer the cash if it wasnt easy for him.

  158. ContentSB says:

    Hi Sugars!

    Have any of you used Whats Your Price?? Out of curiosity I made a quick profile to see what it’s all about, and now that offers are coming through I’m kind of at a loss. I just feel so weird going on a date and getting paid?? I don’t think my time is necessarily any more valuable than his, so it seems weird to be handed cash to go on a date. There’s one guy in particular who is 34 and very attractive…he seems like someone I would just go on a date with without an exchange of money. Has anyone else used the site and if you did, how much were you asking for/how much did you pay?

  159. Madison says:

    Yes AnnaMW, I know. Sadly most guys do get intimidated by someone who is not only very pretty but also very smart. They don’t know what to do with that, unfortunately.

  160. AnnaMW says:

    @ Madison – I have had an opposite experience when it comes to “playing dumb”.. Honestly, I can’t see myself being interested in a guy who doesn’t appreciate that I am multi-lingual and educated. I love getting the “what are you doing here??” reaction and while I might downplay certain aspects of my life for the sake of anonymity and safety, I never conceal intellect.

  161. Madison says:

    Oh Midwest girl… we are just telling how it is… men are the first ones to ask for a pic to make sure you’re not fat. Wanna start that conversation?

  162. Madison says:

    My favorite part of a SD’s profile and when they rightfully state at their poorly written profile: “Must be able to hold a conversation”. LOL LOL I laugh everytime I read this crap because if you really try to engage them in a serious conversation they have nothing to say or are not cultured enough to hold the conversation in the first place!

  163. Midwest SB says:

    Ladies – enough bashing…seriously. Sugar dating can teach you a lot and you two are not opening yourself up to the great opportunities that exist. Warren Buffet is not a looker, but he has my ultimate respect and I would be his SB any day! George Clooney may be a fun, good-looking guy, but he can also be an arrogant ass. It takes more than dimples and a head full of hair to raise my interests. I find bald men incredibly attractive. Look at Yul Brynne, Telly Savalas or Patrick Stewart. This is your chance to date successful, wealthy men. Most of them did not become successful strictly on good looks. Charisma, talent and respect will go much farther than good looks. Next time a man contacts you and he is less than a 10, give him a chance to show the rest of his qualities. I honestly hoped you ladies were better than that.

  164. Madison says:

    @Summer: Yes, my dear Summer… if you tell them your portfolio went down last month due to the fluctuation of the Yen, and the economic climate in Europe, they will just stare at you. LOL LOL

  165. Madison says:

    @Summer: Hope you find your daddy soon, darling! It takes kissing a lot of frogs, nevertheless. My older guy type is definitely Clooney. My current papa resembles him a little, but mine is 5 years younger and taller than Clooney. I heard he is like 5’10 or something. Short. I like tall guys, at least 6’1. Height wins over handsomeness. I could care less for a guy who is a handsome 5’6. I would prefer a distinguished 6’2.

  166. Summer says:

    men do get defensive, i noticed the play dumb part is better and laugh at their jokes and tell them how good looking they are and smart. thats why i dont want them to know where i spend the money, god forbid if i had hot investments going and he got all jealous and then quite me. that would be a bummer. maybe ill just say its for rent and boring things like that. maybe keeping it simple is better, i guess i will just say its for bills and I dont need to bore you with all that…lets just talk about YOU.
    LoL, Ill just say the more the merrier, so I can just focus on YOU

  167. Summer says:

    i guess men are strong enough to be able to weed out flakes and fakes, you just need a better attitude. Im not interested in a porsche, they are too small inside and too expensive to maintain and a waste of money. I would prob get a jeep or range rover. You just read too much into it. Dont worry I dont read your whole posts either, so I barely get a glimpse of what youre talking about. Im more interested in what the girls say. Yes I ran into my doctor at an upscale grocery store. He wasnt cheating on his wife etc…but yes married men do go out in public. I dont care if they acknowledge me or not, I just dont want to see them around. I like traveling so it will be fun for me. Thats how I weed out fakes and flakes. You prob dont know what youre doing, it sounds like.

  168. Summer says:

    bonjovi is old now so he’s not a good example but singers in general that are under 30. i never hear people say they want to get it on with older guys….george clooney has a baby face and his hair wasnt grey for quite a while and he had good skin, mild wrinkles. maybe someone like that …that “looks young” but you are kidding yourself if you think woman like old men.

  169. Madison says:

    Euphoria you forgot to say that American men not only drink bud light but also have no idea where is Europe located on the map. And everyone knows I am not exaggerating…

  170. Summer says:

    women are not programmed to be attracted to old bald headed men. Thats why Brad Pitt and Jon bon jovi are so popular and surfers etc…thus the term, woman love dimples and a baby face. I prefer older guys since some of them are calmed down and not so conceited and mouthy, more appreciative i guess instead of them acting like they are doing me a favor. Everyone prefers looking at youth and beauty.

  171. euphoria says:

    Phone Guy yep, all American guys are all the same. All they seem to do is drink bud light and eat kraff foods. Haha, I love listening to people stereotype others. 🙂

  172. Summer says:

    Ill use the term discretionary spending. I would like allowance for discretionary spending of my own choosing. I may not even buy a nicer car right away, they are such a waste of money, I might prefer real estate or investments. I dont know until I have the money and privacy to weigh some options.

  173. Summer says:

    im not sure what “case to state in my profile”…I guess an accurate assessment is that I have an ok life and enough money to cover expenses but if i had more/extra money…i would probably save most of it but get some nicer things and i would prob travel and see some concerts and shows i like. I actually like to travel alone because i meet so many interesting people and can make my own schedule of activities. I dont really want guys knowing my business or what I spend the money on, they may be too opinionated as I have found most guys. I just want to spend time, get the deal and have my own life. A true NSA I guess. I dont want to go to their house and I dont want them in mine…god knows I dont need their current or ex wife popping in or other wierdos.
    I guess I will have to let them know, I am private, respect their privacy and pick an agreed amount and time expenditure. I dont see any point in getting friendly with a married guy or excessive caring…i would rather date single guys for that. Im just going to try to go on a few dates and see what they are about and if they start pressuring me or touching me, I will just say, I dont have an opinion on you yet, Im still learning about you. Alot of guys are writing that they will reveal their name later, and as long as i take care of them, they will take care of me…its not upfront enough for me. I think traveling will be fun so at least I can do something fun while I am in town and I actually like hotels. I guess I have faith that the cleaning staff uses disinfectants etc. I dont sit on the bedspread though- LOL…I usually fold it and put it in a chair. Thanks for the info.

  174. Madison says:

    @phone guy: There are many Europeans girls here in case you never realized that….I am not American BTW….

  175. Madison says:

    @Midwest SB: All you said is very true. Anyone can misinterpret themselves regardless. Allowances are also a very complex issue. I met a SD last Summer who mid-arrangement said he couldn’t “afford me” anymore, after a few weeks. Another loser agreed on a certain amount and then told me he found a “cheaper” sugar a few months later. LOL LOL. My current SD was very generous since the beginning. It turned out to be more than a sugar relationship but he was never ‘cheap’ regarding allowances/gifts/paying my bills.

  176. Summer says:

    hahahaha look at this hilarious profile!

    Theres a wide range of personal and business related opportunities available, and Im extremely flexible for the right candidate(s?). If ive favorited you then theres a possibility that my relationship manager may reach out for prelim screening but im confident that the package i can offer is unmatched. No disclosure in regards to the nature of my industry, plans etc. will be made until the legal team tells me its cleared. Im looking forward to assisting as many positive, creative, intelligent and ambitious women as i can. Im open to bringing in a combination of talent for various positions, so just he honest and lets have some fun!

  177. PhoneGuy says:

    Please continue, tell all the American girls who have dated nothing but American men their whole lives what American men like. We love stereotypes, continue… 😛

  178. Midwest SB says:

    One other thing….”allowance” is open to interpretation. Many include the expense of dining out, hotels, entertainment, etc as their allowance budget. Others consider the allowance strictly what one gives for her discretionary spending. I wish they would include categories such as gift or travel daddy so the search could be a little easier.

  179. Midwest SB says:

    Summer & Madison – All that is verified with Diamond Daddies is their financials..and even those can be falsified. It does not verify if they are gentleman or if they are generous. Wealth does not equal generosity. It’s trial and error here and even those who have done this before find the search more difficult than it ever was. The growing popularity of the site comes with it’s trolls, so it’s truly up to your own due diligence and research to meet someone worthwhile. Additionally, 1) many men put negotiable because they want the flexibility to provide different things according to a woman’s needs and 2) many men don’t state their true income/ net worth on any dating site. The best you can do is clearly state your case in your profile and reach out to those that interest you (regardless of what they put as allowance / net worth/ income). What you put in your profile will weed out those who aren’t interested immediately. Then weed out the ones who seem genuine, go on a few dates and hope for the best.

  180. Madison says:

    @Summer: If I were you, I would pick the “diamond” sugar daddies. They pay a higher fee to be in here. I’m a “certified” college sugar baby because I have an EDU email address from my university. That’s what this site can do to make sure people here are sort of real and not someone coming out of a trailer park somewhere.

    Usually, American men don’t like SB with tons of make up. Tight jeans, heels and long hair are attractive to them. However, if you have too much education, they get defensive. Last year I went out with a SD and when I told him I speak three languages, traveled to 5 different countries, was finishing my second bachelor’s degree and had a professional desk job he was like: ” why do you need a SD for then?” LOL LOL

    Sometimes playing dumb is the best approach, believe it or not….


  181. PhoneGuy says:


    Everyone’s view of sugar is different…and everyone’s needs are different.

    How many people do you think would be on this website if they limited it to people with income “as high millions”, giving allowances of $3k+? Probably not a business model Brandon wants to go with. And if you are going to limit it like that, I want to add some height/weight ratio limitations on the SBs. 😉 Or we can leave it as it is and let each person decide what is right for them.

    I would have no problem with having SA “verify” their SDs (in whatever form that takes). I’ve seen sites that do this as an option. I doubt if all the SDs on SA want to go through the trouble. Now how do you propose to verify the SBs? We also don’t want to be taken advantage of by fakes and flakes. Maybe they could be verified by an SD who acknowledges that the SB went out with them. 😉

    You’re probably limiting yourself unnecessarily by only looking for out of town SDs. For example, when is the last time you ran into your dentist when you were out with your friends? Probably never. And you probably won’t have a problem with running into old (or current) SDs. And if you do, they probably want to acknowledge you as much as you want to acknowledge them.

    I don’t know how many SDs pick local SBs, but I suspect it’s probably fairly high. It’s a lot easier and cheaper than flying a girl in every week or so. So you would be needlessly limiting your search pool. And your search pool sounds like it’s already small enough…high millionaires who want to buy you a Porsche.

    Good luck in your search.

  182. ArcadiaSB says:

    Happy Easter everyone!
    I keep disappearing from the blog, but somehow the drama keeps drawing me back 😉
    As or kids, my former SD had young kids I never even considered meeting. My current one has a daughter…ummm…my age, but she lives in a different country. I think meeting even adult kids MIT be a little weird.
    He did get me an Easter basket full of yummy chocolates though!
    So UK SBs, anyone going to the sugar party in London? I got an email about doing media for it (I guess all UK SBs did?) but I’m not sure if I feel comfortable going “public”. Seems like there’s enough judgement out there the stigma could hang with you for a while.

    Then those SDs ho try and bring their kids might have the kids recognise you from Tv! 😉

  183. Madison says:

    @Midwest SB: I know exactly what you are talking about, darling. Papa and I are more like serious boyfriend/girlfriend now than sugar dating. In a real sugar relationship you don’t involve a SD in your private life. My Papa went to my college graduation in December and form there, he introduced me to his kids and ex-wife ( LOL) and only got more and more serious. I’m kind of wondering what the heck am I doing though. But I am not a robot. I am not a HO, who just takes his money without any feelings. I do care for him, his kids etc. I am willing to give this a try in a very serious way and see where it goes. I am at his parents house right now ( LOL) , they seems happy to see him happy. My parents live overseas so that will be another can of worms… xoxo

  184. Midwest SB says:

    Hi babydoll & LASB! Glad to see you again!

    Kids and SDs – Here’s my bottom line. Sugar is about pampering one another, sexy trysts, fun experiences, and getting away from reality for a while. Adding kids to the mix doesn’t really “fit” in my opinion…long term or short term. Babysitters are not that difficult to find. I can guarantee an SD would fuss if the women brought their kids along, so why should it be any different for the SBs?

    Madison – I’ve always warned about falling in love with sugar vs falling in love. It’s easy for a man/woman to fall when real life isn’t in the picture. Once kids, exes, drama and real life get involved and/or once the sugar changes because you’re in a real relationship, the foundations of what you fell in love with change. Make sense?

    Happy Easter/ Passover sugars!

  185. babydoll says:

    slowly scrolling up and reading blogs,,, seriously you guys !!! i dont know haha!!! #

    @SDGuru ~ yes i think you have ared button when you hear the word booty lol

    @MWestSB~ uuuhhhhhoohhhhh aahhhhh slowly walking backwards head bowed down hands raised …..lovely for you to grace us with your presence i am sure a lot of us miss you loads xxxxxxxxx

  186. babydoll says:

    its Easter Sunday mornign in London…. and i open the blog and read…
    oh my Gawd all i see is ?? Penis and Cock??? penis and cock penis and cock!!! bloody hell??
    i feel like i have gone for years frome here!!! giggle…

    @Dorky~ it takes a lot of practice to be able to photograph on your own lol

    @dutch~ yeah see you at the party!!! i found my dress to wear bwahahaha

  187. Summer says:

    @Jessie…you are right…I was shocked to see that tons of guys on here have 1000-3000 listed as their amount…even when they list their income as high millions and then profile stating they expect a girl to be reasonable. Im not saying someone wouldnt apprec that amount, but just saying…how in the world does that fit a Sugar Daddy role. It makes this whole site seem really ordinary and I can see why alot of very pretty and desirable SB’s would leave. I think also that all the SD’s should be verified. Its not right for young girls to get taken advantage of like that. This site seems like sort of a loose grab, who knows what you get sort of thing to me. Or thats its going to take a lot of confident negotiation and being careful not to disclose much so you can get rid of non serious ones right away and not having them turn into stalkers.

  188. Summer says:

    I dont understand how the kids are saved by the parents being in a bad marriage with no chemisty or interest in each other. If you divorce when you are young, you can meet someone else, find total bliss then your kids would be happier. I think men dont like to be alone, I really also question that men stay “because of the kids”. I dont see how its helping the kids…everyone I know that is divorced with small kids has stated its the best thing, the whole familly is much happier and you always always hear how “my spouse and I are better friends now then we ever were, we actually get along better”. Honestly I could never live in a house where I was so completely miserable and day in, day out that close to someone that i didnt get along with.
    What is it exactly that men do “to work on the relationship”…Was the answer, buying lingerie and trying to talk the wife into going to a swingers club?

  189. Summer says:

    I watched it all the way through, it just seemed very ordinary to me, boy meets girl, boy loses girl to better looking guy with better job that parents prefer, boy gets girl back. I didnt really feel the blonde liked him much and she seemed content to marry that other guy for quite awhile. Noah seemed more pathetic and kind of begging to me. I guess the ending is the “best part” where she jumps in his arms or whatever. Its just such a simple story, I sort of question a guys intelligence and write them off as too simple. I think it must be easy for men to comprehend and it somehow identifies with how simple they are and maybe its a good thing, that it helps spur men to understand love and trying to make something lasting with a person. I guess this type of site, i surely didnt expect to see that…but you are right, the guy who answered…I think it is a lure because the profile stated…I even like the notebook as if he is assuming all girls do too. I like adventure love stories…with rescue James Bond type scenes.
    I changed my profile pic today and decided I want to only meet out of town men, ( flying there and getting my own hotel etc) Im more private and I dont feel like meeting a bunch of locals and then running into them later on when Im out and about enjoying time with IRL friends etc…too creepy…
    Maybe when I get better at this and pick up all the lingo and see what the legit SA’s do…I will be able to filter the local emails better. Im not used to asking or having a list etc…I was kind of hoping guys would just make offers or after having a couple dinners together, and getting to know each other, I would feel better chatting on a deeper level. Most of my friends that were driving porsches and dating generous dudes, while I was working and just living a non sugary life, told me they didnt sleep with these guys for quite awhile, went to lunches several times and get the guy liking them. I guess thats the key, just hang out until they are so into you, they will do anything. Anxious guys make me nervous though…Im looking for someone laid back as Im sure they have things going on the side anyway, so Im just going to take my time and fish around.

  190. DorkyGuy says:

    I was out having dinner… when an image of stilettos flashed across my mind, and I had to come running.

    Sadly, even if I wanted to, I can’t send a c*ck pic… at least without help. Despite my best efforts, I can’t hold the camera far enough away to fit it all in the frame.

    @Tina~ I see your point on makeup… especially lipstick and nail polish. Sure, those can be non-natural. I don’t like a lot of eye makeup though.. Not sure why!

  191. AnnaMW says:

    So, the consensus seems to be that meeting a long term SDs children is a no-no, usually due to the temporary status of most arrangements coupled with the ethical/emotional effect it may have on the children. I totally understand and respect that perspective. On the other hand, I find interesting that this garners so many strong opinions, yet marital status inconsequential to many.

    I think that relationships can take different shapes and transcend that of a money/companionship based arrangement, deep friendships can develop. Sometimes friends meet each others children. I’ve never met an SDs kids so I’m not sure how I would approach that issue, but in IRL situations, I leave those decisions up to the parent unless I see clear potential for harm.

    I have been introduced to children early on as a friend and it’s never seemed to create complication or upset. Integrating into a childs life as a parent/permanent figure is a TOTALLY different story and a choice that shouldn’t be taken lightly.

  192. Dutch Girl In London says:

    @Prince Charming – Thank you for the shoe advice. Normally ER gives me styling tips but she went on holiday – how dare she :)? I can do the wood chopping by the way.

    @Midwest SB – How horrid to receive penis pics, why would a man think that is attractive, yuck!

    I would seriously question the mental health of any man who would bring their children to ANY date in the very early stages. It shows a non-understanding of boundaries and I would feel so sorry for the children as it must be very confusing.

  193. PhoneGuy says:

    @Tina, you can send me the Pi symbol. 😉

    @Guru, Nice!

  194. NYGirl says:

    What about
    VA gent and Stormy ?
    Ok, VA would be too easy:
    (I bet VA G has a big red button on every of his electronic devises which lights up if anything bad get posted about P4P anywhere on the web). 🙂

    (you will forgive me, VA, right ?)

  195. NYGirl says:

    This is your CoEd in stilettos showing booty for drama?
    And who knew Guru likes tatoo on a girl.

  196. euphoria says:

    Midwest sb- Agree! I told my first SD that I was having alot of car issues. I viewed it as a beater, and was embarresed to be seen in it. The car needed alot of mechanical work. I also told him that my goal was to get into a better car. He was actually very good with mechanics, so he ended up fixing everything that needed to be fixed for free. We gave the car a paint job and ended up fully restoring it. A little over a year later, some extremely unfortunate events happened. Then he ended up helping me get into the car that i really wanted. He knew i needed it, and because I don’t ask for much… he was happy to help me out. 🙂
    I have actually spoken to a few guys on this site that own car dealerships. They can actually get cars alot cheaper then most.

  197. LASB says:

    Hi Midwest! Yay! Welcome back! I’m so not caught up on the blog but saw your name and had to say hello. 🙂

  198. Midwest SB says:

    Tina – It’s comforting to know that our white knights are lurking 🙂 They are amazing guys!

    Another one for SDinLA – COED!!!

  199. Tina says:

    Wow, MW has ALL you blog SDs played 😉 (bows to the SB mentor Midwest)

    And Phone Guy: you never said what your signal is / should be…….

    Oh, and @MW: SDinLA has another one: entitlement…..teehee……

    @Nawty: I LOVE psychological thrillers! (don’t like guts and gore horror) I have my moments for chick flicks, but I gotta have my action….and animated…….and…….you get the point 😉

  200. PhoneGuy says:

    Guess what Guru’s “bat signal” looks like? 😉

  201. Midwest SB says:

    That was your best time yet Guru! You must have a red light that goes off on your phone when your name is mentioned. 🙂 Are you home for the holiday or in your home away from home?

  202. Midwest SB says:

    LOL! Works like a charm!

    DorkyGuy – Stillettos!
    SDinLA – DRAMA!

    What should yours be PhoneGuy?

  203. PhoneGuy says:

    Did someone say boobies and booty? 😀

  204. PhoneGuy says:

    A lot of chicks loved it…maybe the SDs are just trying to get into the pants of Notebook lovers. 😉

  205. Midwest SB says:

    NM – I’m sure they give you great ideas for your dungeon 🙂

    Summer – The guys don’t seem to be around much today, so they must be summoned. For instance:

    NC Gent: ( <)(< ) Boobies!
    SD Guru ( Y ) Booty!

    Get the idea 🙂

    As for The Notebook…it's one of my favorite movies! I think the guys are probably using it as a lure as I don't think it's particularly heart-wrenching…just sweet. The idealistic side of me hopes that everyone finds and is as devoted to their one and only as Allie and Noah. Their chemistry is unshakable. If you haven't watched it all the way through, give it a fair chance and watch all of it. Maybe it's just for the hopeless romantics. Counterpoint…hopeless romantics make GREAT SDs until they start slipping from sugar to love.

  206. Nawty Molly says:

    I don’t really watch chick flicks….I prefer horror films. I’m sure you’re all shocked.

  207. Summer says:

    Someone please tell me….which part of the Notebook was heart wrenching?
    And again please..the men here…what is the world is so moving about the Notebook?
    I thought that was a really boring movie, not deep at all, seemed very cliche’, like the same story told again for the millionth time…
    There is a lot of guys profile where they continually mention the Notebook and one guy cried at the heart wrenching scenes…
    Is it because guys never watch those type of love story movies that they think it is original type story? Its even the same story as the titanic and probably every movie since movies were made…
    I just cant believe the momentum of this movie and how it lives on and on in every guys mind…

  208. Madison says:

    @Tina: I think my arrangement already got past way the arrangement stage months ago. Now I need to get my act together and become an ” honest woman”. LOL LOL

    @DorkyGuy: C*ck pics are never OK unless she is the one taking the pics 😛

  209. Summer says:

    thanks gorgeous

  210. Tina says:

    @MW: I think it’s rusty steel today – I’m pooped from my morning excursion! And a little sunburned! But I did get some GREAT pictures!

  211. Midwest SB says:

    Summer – If you need a newer car, then state that as your goal. SDs tend to shy away from ladies who “need” sugar to cover their bills, but feel much better about helping them obtain meaningful goals. Represent yourself as you did here. Something like “My bills are covered by my own efforts, but I find it is taking much longer to save $$ for this car. I’m sure it will be well received.

    Tina – Bwahahahaha! Mind like a steel trap!

  212. Tina says:

    @Dorky: you have a camera to adequately represent the Mt. Rushmore tattoo? 😉

    @AM: I agree with you that make-up should enhance, not try to create, beauty. My comment to Dorky about being able to see it was more about something like a darker shade of lipstick rather than a neutral shade. I sometimes like wearing a darker raisin/wine color, because it brings out the blue in my eyes. Things like that; you’re able to notice the make-up, but it isn’t a distraction. 🙂

  213. Summer says:

    Hey you all!!!! Guys keep writing me and stating that I didnt “mention anything about my bills”
    What and how am I supposed to convey this…should I say my lifestyle requires xxxx amount…or are they wanting to know a list and amounts? i really figured a girl would disperse the money as she wanted to which obviously would be some to bills, some to fun, some to save etc… or some combo ….I mean everyone has bills, so what do these SD’s mean by this? I honestly never found a guy cared about me that deeply anyway…Im totally used to going on dates, where guys talk about theirself for 3-4 hours straight or by phone, half the time I am watching tv, doing my nails, talking to roomate…they dont even notice that I might put the phone down for 20 min and cook something etc…I come back and they are still talking….especially doctors, well really all of them…
    anwyay…Im new at this so what should i say about
    MY BILLLLLLLLS I really want a new or newer car….should i just say that…i actually am “not behind on bills”…

  214. Prince Charming says:


    The penis pic thing happens on the IRL dating sites as well. I don’t get it, but about a year ago on reddit someone who did something similar on Omeagle discussed it, and and yes, there’s a meaningful response rate. It’s small, but apparently for the kind of guy that sends pics of his penis, the response rate is higher with such pics than without. It apparently never results in IRL meetings, however, so it’s some sort of online validation for guys that can’t get dates anyway.

    I actually included a line that I’d never sent a photo of a body part in email, ever, as part of my profile, with the idea that it might suggest I’m slightly safer to contact, lol.

  215. Midwest SB says:

    DG – I blocked him without responding…love Google Voice!

    If anyone is going to look at his profile, don’t be logged in. Go to the home page and click look for sugar daddies. Then swap his number in when you get to a guy’s profile.

    I once read about about a man who leases his building to a practice that performs abortions. You know how fanatical the anti-abortionists are…calling his home, telling him where his kids go to school, where his wife works etc. So he turned the tables. He now has a calling circle of 5000 people who receive the harasser’s number and any pertinent information about his harassers. The people from the calling circle now call the harassers at all hours sharing the pertinent information.

    Is turnabout fair play?

  216. Nawty Molly says:

    The make-up comment was a general statement, not directed towards anyone BTW. 🙂

  217. DorkyGuy says:

    huh… I have never sent my penis pic to anyone. Maybe I am using the wrong approach?

    I guess guys wouldn’t do it if a certain type/number of girls didn’t respond to it. Beyond my ability to understand though.

  218. Tina says:

    @Euphoria: as your avatar? NO!!!!!!! (starts rubbing eyes now to get the future images out of her head)

    @Madison: as far as the kids go, just be careful. You mentioned their ages in one of your earlier posts, and they’re all very young, too young to understand the implications of your situation with their father. They’re also at ages that they’re looking for a mother figure. So, if you’re in denial, I would talk to your SD about it and not meet the parents or have any more dates with the kids along until you’re sure of what you want. IF you are both in different places, it may be time to end the arrangement before an innocent bystander gets hurt. If you’re both in the same place, it sounds like this is going beyond a SD/SB arrangement. IMHO, of course.

  219. Madison says:

    @Nawty Molly: I do love him, I’m in denial in that part too for crying aloud!

  220. Nawty Molly says:

    Make-up was made to enhance your natural beauty, not cover it up. 🙂

    Euphoria – Thats funny! You should do it! Who knows, it might sell for millions! Lol

  221. euphoria says:

    No wait… im going to use it as my avatar, then you all will need to look at it every time I post. Mwahaha!

  222. Nawty Molly says:

    If I decide to meet parents and children, I would have be more than in like with him. 😉

    MW – I’m jealous! A penis pic! How lucky are you?!

  223. euphoria says:

    Penis shot! Woo! I’m building a collection of penis shots from sa sds. I think im going to make a piece of art out of them for the blacklist site. Lol

  224. Tina says:

    @Midwest: you poor dear! And you now know that we’re all going to have to check out that profile now, right? 😉 And I would have to agree with you – if you’ve got it, flaunt it. If you don’t, fake it 😉

    @Dorky: I think the amount of make-up depends on the situation. I wear darker shade in the evening when on a date (which you would definitely notice, but doesn’t look tacky), but light shades on daytime dates. When not on the “impress someone” mode, I typically wear no make up. Well, that’s most of the time. I’m not a make-up kind of girl.

    Had a WONDERFUL time at my charity-ish thing today with my dog. We’re both exhausted, and ready for bed early tonight! All morning (7:30 – 1:30) in the Texas sun with a lot of other dogs and people around you will wear you down quick! I still have to go through my pictures and see if I got any good ones 🙂

  225. Madison says:

    I do like him Euphoria…I’m just in denial.

  226. euphoria says:

    Madison you are talking about it like its not something that you aren’t completely happy with. If you aren’t happy with being mommy to 3 adorable girls, then don’t put him and his children trough that kind of crap. If your not happy, don’t get on the blogs and bitch and wine to us about not wanting to play the role of stepmommy. A pair of prada shoes and a Soho bag is not worth a shitload of drama.

  227. Midwest SB says:

    Yay! Got a penis pic from 698658. This MUST be my lucky day! I wasn’t impressed either….if you’re gonna flaunt it, have something worth showing.

  228. Midwest SB says:

    Dutch Girl – I second the nuetral tones. Something that matches your skin tone will make your fabulous legs look even longer!

  229. Madison says:

    I’m going to meet the parents. I guess I’m going to be driving a minivan soon….(gulp)

  230. Prince Charming says:

    @Phone Guy
    I’m in engineering as well, and while I’m function-focused, sometimes the function of clothing is, in fact, to attract women. 90% of the time I’m in very functional jeans and T-shirts, but it’s pretty important in my opinion for a guy to have a few solid “killer” outfits, where you look great, feel great, and send out the “winner” vibe to any women you meet. I’ve learned this is especially important early on (first impressions and all that.) ZZTop was right, every girl’s crazy about a sharp-dressed man.

    @ Dutch Girl
    Neutrals go well with dusty pink, a darker grey is good along with deeply off-whites (a dark cream or ivory.) If you have something in silver that’s not too bright, it might work well, too. [off to go chop some wood and do other manly things for a while]

  231. DorkyGuy says:

    I second the notion of being minimalist on makeup.

    If I notice your makeup, you are wearing too much.

  232. Prince Charming says:


    My view of “labeled out” is the literal interpretation, where a woman is wearing too many logo/conspicuously labeled articles of clothing or accessories. I think a woman can safely get away with one item that’s “obvious” but several is just too much.

    Head to toe Burberry might be OK — we know it’s Burberry but it’s not labeled as such in giant block letters — whereas multiple Louis Vuitton logo-pattern items would be a bit over the top. I can’t speak for every SD, but I think most of us appreciate the quality and style a woman’s outfit — which has more to do with who she is and what her tastes are — than we appreciate which particular designer made it. I don’t think any of us really appreciate the walking billboard look.

    I think many SDs and SBs both have seen fashion tragedies where it was a great designer and great clothing, but the completely wrong style for the man/woman wearing it, and in this case being a logo/conspicuous label item just adds to that sad picture. Your reaction to bad/ghastly designer shoes is a great case in point.

    The supreme irony of all of this is I think most SDs would still be happy to see their SB if she was wearing a burlap bag an no makeup!

  233. euphoria says:

    In any dating situation, I also try to think of the child. Sometimes a child with divorced or seperated parents may also be dealing with other psychological issues too. With a child that already may have issues with feeling abandoned or feeling at fault because of their parents seeperation, it s really not funny to walk in and out on them. It could end up hurting them even more then they already are.

  234. Charis says:

    WOW! go away from the blog for 48 hours and you miss a lot. Been playing out in the western Utah desert with a bunch of city slickers who have never camped away from Best Western.

    @ honey- You posted a while back that you would mentor an SB in Huston. Any chance you’d be willing to mentor by email? I love your style and want to learn more.

  235. euphoria says:

    Anna Molly I do agree that once children are involved, it is a whole new ball game. I had an ex pot that brought his child with us on a date. I really liked him, but I would have felt so bad if things did not work out, and the child was hurt. If I would have viewed him as a boyfriend and we would have been dating for awhile, it would have been completely OK with me. But because it was a sugar date, and we barley knew each other, it was the ultimate deal killer. I am not one to walk in and out of a child’s life for my own selfish desires. Its not ethical, and its only going to dammage the child in the long run.

  236. tre says:

    how interesting. All tho ive had two stable mutually benefitial SD/SB relationships, i have not considered juggling 3-4 at a time. Time to consider that move to the USA.

  237. DorkyGuy says:

    “You don’t want little hearts to get attached to you then taking off if you don’t get the pair of shoes you wanted.” ~Anna Molly

    Amen, and amen. Even if the guy is single, meeting the kids is a *very bad idea*, unless you are fairly far along in a RL relationship. For the kids, at best it is confusing, and at worst it is cruel. The best course of action in this case would be to tell the guy that you are not willing to meet his kids again, period.

  238. Anna Molly says:

    Hottie moms do rock! 😀

  239. Anna Molly says:

    I’ve heard of the term MILF! 😉

    Okay, once the kids get involved it becomes a whole other story. Enough said. Either you want more out of your arrangement or you don’t! It’s up to you to decide. You have to remember that once you involve the kids it becomes much more than just you and SD and much more than just an arrangement, so keep that in mind! You don’t want little hearts to get attached to you then taking off if you don’t get the pair of shoes you wanted…m’kay? M’kay. 🙂

  240. Dutch Girl in London says:

    Oh dear, am I leading the SB’s astray with hand-crafted shoes, Italian men and yummy mummies now:)?

    Bad Dutch Girl!

    I guess I have to pick a pair of shoes to wear for my date for a Pot this week to go with my dark pink (like dusty pink) flapper-esque dress. Colour suggestions for shoes? (all SD’s seem to have disappeared)

  241. euphoria says:

    Dutch Girl- now I need to take a trip to the UK and find me a yummy mummie. 🙂

  242. Pumpkin says:

    A happy Easter to all celebrants! Loved the shoes Dorky (some taste have you and the SB who introduced you to them).

  243. Dutch Girl In London says:

    @Babydoll – Happy Easter! Good luck with the studio and I am so glad you’re coming to the party too, we can be ER’s date for the night!

    Euphoria, the MILF’s you’re mentioning are called yummy mummy here in the UK. Plenty of yummy mummies in London.

  244. AnnaMW says:

    Thanks for the topic change Daddy_GT, DorkyGuy or whoever it was!!

    I was on a date earlier this week and the hostess complimented my dress. I proudly informed her that I bought it for 20 bux at an outlet store. A few days earlier, I wore an Herve Leger. I’m all over the place…

    At this point, about half of my shoes are Choo, Louboutin or Prada, but I have a pair of CLs that I’ve had for four years and wear almost daily for work. I get them repaired every few months and am convinced ill have them forever. They were definitely a worthwhile investment.

    A few of you have mentioned not liking if a woman is all “labled out”…. What do you think of as too much? A Louis Vuitton bag? Chanel logo glasses? Or are you talking head to toe Burberry?

    Euphoria – That line of Pradas are pretty ghastly…. The worst of them all have to be the ones that are lips smoking a cigarette. Have you seen them? They might be exclusive to Saks or Nordstrom. I almost fell out of my chair when I saw them.

  245. euphoria says:

    Has anyone ever heard of the term “MILF”? Being a mother and a wife do sent automatically put anyone in the running to be driving a minni van, and wearing sweats. I know alot of moms who proudly take their children to and from soccer practice in their Mercedes sedan or BMW suv. While wearing their hot Adidas workout clothes and a pair of Oakleys. In my opinion, the moms who do that rock!

  246. Madison says:

    Hi Peeps!!!!

    So much to tell!! Where do I start? My sexy Papa bought me those shoes, I will have to wait until mid May to be shipped though because they are still on pre-order. Bummer. I did not get the purse because I needed him to make my car payment and some other bills, so that’s that. We had a great night, as always; However, one thing really bothered me… he wants to take me to his parent’s house for Easter….

    OK, his children (3 girls) are with him today. I went to (URGH) Target with them this morning. Yeah, me at TARGET with three kids. I don’t know if I like where this is going. Papa is a great guy, tall, handsome etc etc. But I think he is taking this way too seriously. He never tries to control me, he loves I am slutty and full of life and never asked me to get out of this site, nevertheless.

    My point is… I told him I don’t want to be his wife. I don’t want to be driving a mini van with 3 kids, wearing sweat pants. I don’t want to meet his parents. He said I hurt his feelings. :(:( I don’t want to lose him though. Am I being to harsh????

  247. babydoll says:

    happy easter all beautiful Sugars!!

    hello hello everyone, i can see everyone’s busy with a lot of topics!! a lot of catching up arrgghhh
    been very very busy!!!

    @NYG~ sorry couldnt reply as i had probs with my hotmail and just couldnt get the time to reply to a lot of emails ~since last month!!

    @Dutchy~ i am here yoohooo!!! really enjoyed our meet up and as you know ER still in Miami!!!
    when is she coming back???
    was busy trying to find the right studio,Sd decided to get one rather than rent for me but we cant find the right property,well i liked one but he thought it was the wrong one for me boo!!!! so will rent maybe for now until theres a right place that we will both like :)))

    So,its all go for the London Party then?? will get ticket after easter xxx

    JennSA~i hope you received an email i sent as reply to your email last month? not sure if you did as i had no reply from you and i had problems with my hotmail xxx

    wow regarding entitlement and sugar allowance cant believe everyone still in discussion over it haha!!!!

    i hope all is having a good easter bank holiday weekend, will be with Sd for the weekend and really looking forward for my birthday present!!!

    p.s. a lot more blog Sd’s here now !!!

    kisses ;))))))))))))

  248. Honey says:

    Italian shoes, men , the best,but I like to buy local too. Right now I have on what my friend calls”jesus ssandals”. Pipers from san antonio. Hand crafted and an individual
    serial number
    because he fixes, repairs,replaces for life, Comfy. and I like service after the purchase

  249. PhoneGuy says:

    @Tina, 😉

    @MWSB, probably just transactional. Silly boy. Maybe he just read your email too quickly. He missed a good chance to show some personality.

  250. euphoria says:

    @Dutch girl yes. Frigging auto correct. I don’t know why it always changes words on me.

  251. Dutch Girl In London says:

    @Midwest SB I think he is more transactional and not a real SD.

    @Euphoria I think you mean a lucky girl? I was as it was a gift with a lot of thought put into it. Italy is a great country to visit, I like Southern Italy more than the Northern part though! The Italians are VERY cheeky though, I stood out a mile being tall, blonde and blue-eyed and most men were very flirty, even if a man walks hand in hand next to you.

  252. euphoria says:

    Dutch girl I’m jealous.hand crafted shoes… I would take a trip to Italy to get some awesome shoes. You are a lock girl!

  253. Midwest SB says:

    Good morning sugars! Enjoying my coffee on my back swing on a beautiful Spring day…one of my favorite ways to start my day.

    Brief e-mail exchange…question is he socially awkward or just more transactional?? I say the latter.
    Him: Great profile, want to get to know you.
    Me: Nice to meet you. Tell me a little about yourself…interests, wish list or most embarrassing moment – pick one.
    Him: I don’t understand your question. Tell me what you want in an SD/SB arrangement.
    Me: I feel that if you don’t understand those questions, you will not understand what I seek in an arrangement. I wish you well in your search.

    Ugh. I forgot how much I dislike this process.

  254. Dutch Girl in London says:

    @Dorky You’re such a flirt!

    My most expensive shoes were hand-made in Italy, I discussed the design, colours and kinds of leather and then they measured my feet. My Italian boyfriend (Italians have impeccable taste in my opinion) gave these as a birthday present and it was one of the most thoughtful, lovely birthday present ever.

  255. euphoria says:

    Nyg- the most expensive pair of shoes I’ve owned were a gift. I didn’t ask for them at all. But sence I have them, theyn are pretty. They happen to be made by jimmy choo

  256. Honey says:

    I’m getting a LV for my birthday, no shame …Hard work all year!!

  257. DorkyGuy says:

    @Dutch Girl~ If I slept, when would I ever get to talk to our beautiful SBs across the pond? 😉

  258. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: I’m educated as an engineer too, so we think alike. I’m all about what “works” and not how it looks……and that can work in a good amount of naughty situations too 🙂

    @Midwest: AWWWW! She’s adorable! And I haven’t seen SD in LA around for a little while – he’s been scarce lately……I think he’s upset I haven’t named his horse yet 😉

    Have a WONDERFUL Saturday all! I’m off to a charity-ish function for the beginning of the morning with my favorite poochie!

  259. Dutch Girl in London says:

    @Dorky Do you ever sleep?

    I do agree that Madison is just winding us up, either that or she had dreadful taste in shoes :)!

  260. DorkyGuy says:

    I didn’t mean to insinuate that Madison didn’t receive gifts… I figure Madison probably got some very nice, more tasteful shoes, and probably the purse too. I just figured that she picked the most obnoxious pair she could to egg us on. I could well be wrong though, and she could be floating around in her Jetsons shoes now! It is a strange world, and the truth is often stranger than fiction.

  261. Nwsugarbaby says:

    @Madison- Thanks for leaving me in WOW

    You are like my polar opposite. I like to keep things simple, lovely, and without designer brands. Money is better spent elsewhere. Right now my goals are education then buying my own house. One doesn’t become wealthy by spending on expensive things all the time. Every dollar I spend on something that will be out of fashion quickly is a dollar less I have to spend on supporting my goals. I’d be much happier being given stocks, investments, or tuition.

  262. PhoneGuy says:

    >I am pretty sure Madison didn’t get those shoes, and just posted them to get a rise out of the rest
    >of us. Worked, didn’t it?
    I don’t doubt it. I’m sure people do this all the time. But the idea is so alien to me it doesn’t even cross my mind. Why would people make up fake crap to mess with people they don’t know and who don’t know them? So very strange.

  263. PhoneGuy says:

    @DaddyGT, this reminds me of a past conversation we have had here on things an SD should know to be an adult. The one that springs to mind is how to tie a bow tie. I’m sure there are sections of the US and world where dressing the right way are important and signs that tell a woman this man is worthwhile. It just seems silly to me. But I’m an engineer and function is 100 times more important than appearance for most things, including SBs ;-). I can think of 1000 other “low class” things that make a man an adult…starting with how to hang drywall and sweat a pipe. 😉

    That said, if I’m ever in your city, I’d love to attend your fashion class. I acknowledge this is important to sections of the population that I would like to appeal to. 🙂

    Too much “label love” in an SB sounds like trouble. I’d prefer one that isn’t so high maintenance.
    I bought my first SB a Louis Vuitton purse. I thought I was awesome and made her day/month/year/whatever. The next month she sent me a new pick of the next bag she wanted. That crazy crap was never going to end.

  264. Honey says:

    Fundraisers are fun, you meet the most interesting people…

  265. NYGirl says:

    And seriously.

    what is a reasonable price for fancy shoes? boots?

    the most expensive foot wear I own is Burberry High heels boots in brown color (my GF made me buy them coz the color matches my warm coat ).

    Honestly I do not have a good sense of fashion or what to wear , but I have a GF who is very good at it and she has an amazing taste, she is my personal stylist 🙂 I buy cloths/shoes after she approves it. and I like it this way.

  266. NYGirl says:

    U r pretty sure Madison did not get the shoes.
    Are you Madison’ SD?

    I thought Guru warned you guys not to get a SB from the blog.

  267. DorkyGuy says:

    @NYGirl~ That is the Prada collection for this year? It looks to me like they are trying too hard. They all seem like “too much”;

  268. DorkyGuy says:

    @Euphoria/VanillaSugar~ I am pretty sure Madison didn’t get those shoes, and just posted them to get a rise out of the rest of us. Worked, didn’t it?

  269. VanillaSugar says:

    “as much as I like prada, those particular shoes look trashy on everyone.”—What Euphoria said.

    @Euphoria–You should get kicked by anyone who loved you with those shoes on lol

    They are hideous and I wouldn’t dare spend my or anyone else’s money on them..Look like they should have a button you press to fly you straight to the moon lol..Just my opinion, different strokes for different folks 🙂

  270. Nawty Molly says:

    MW – Im sure you’ll be and do great my dear! 🙂
    I can’t see the pic. 🙁

    SD is wonderful! Well, we are supposed to go to a dinner for a former Secretary of Defense pretty soon. That should be interesting! We have a fundraiser next month and we’ve been going to Nantucket quite a bit. I’ve been busy! 🙂

  271. Midwest SB says:

    It finally worked! Where is SD in LA when I have the pic I tried to share with him near Valentine’s Day ???

  272. Midwest SB says:


    My new baby girl!

  273. Midwest SB says:

    Tina and AM – I’m terrified and excited at the same time. I really thought I’d stop, but the payoff is too great.

    AM – How are you and your SD? Any new galas or fun events?

  274. Nawty Molly says:

    Dorky! Have you been snooping in my closet?!

  275. Tina says:

    @AnnaMolly: grab the Cadbury’s while you can! Dang Easter is almost here and they go away 🙁 so sad……

  276. Anna Molly says:

    I just buy what I like, sometimes it’s Burberry and sometimes it’s Target. As long as it looks good and I feel good wearing it then that’s all that matters! 🙂

    Congrats MW!! 😀

  277. Tina says:

    YEAH Midwest!!!!!!!! Good luck on the grad school admission!

  278. Midwest SB says:

    DorkyGuy, AM & Euphoria – Thanks so much!

    Looks like I should have waited until Monday to come back…I could have avoided the catfight AND found DG at my door! If he brought the stillettos….BONUS!!! I love those shoes!!!

    I’ve turned down CLs and Prada because my practical self can find better uses for the money. I do appreciate them from a distance and play in NYC SBs closet on occasion 🙂 It’s like carrying the $500.00 purse with an empty wallet. Shoes are typically good for two things…sex and getting sex. A college education will be a much better investment at this point. Speaking of…I’m graduating in four weeks and awaiting acceptance into grad school!!! Woo Hooooooooo!! Thanks Sugar Daddies!

  279. Tina says:

    Dammit Dorky, you’re going to cause a blog fight by posting those shoes! I’m drooling…..

    @Daddy GT: I’ll admit that I’m NOT into fashion / clothes. I’ve always been the tomboy type – whatever fits and works for the occasion works for me. I prefer jeans and a t-shirt, but I also prefer hockey games over fancy dinners, too. I’m kind of simple that way. Now, that’s not to say that I don’t appreciate nice things (hence the drooling on my keyboard over the shoes Dorky posted above…….), it’s just that it doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m not one of those women that can throw together a fabulous outfit in less than an hour and make the fashion pages. I can put together something nice, but it takes me time and effort.

    Oh, and “ballsed”? Oh you foreigners 😉

  280. euphoria says:

    Dorky- those shoes….. beautiful! I’m jealous of anyone who has those. I’m going to try to find them now. I’ll be on the hunt for them. I must find those shoes!

  281. Madison says:

    OMG………..I WANT THESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYY. It’s going to be a long night!! ahahahahah

  282. DorkyGuy says:

    OMG! I finally got around to googling those shoes! They are vulgar! I suspect that most any outfit that would match those shoes would also go well with rollerskates. Definitely a brave choice.

    If a girl is looking for shoes to make her look truly hot, and wants to break her SD, have a look at Gianmarco Lorenzi “Snake Charmer” heels:


    Hat tip to the blog SB that showed those to me… They are the only heels I have seen that I like enough to actually want to learn more about them. They look just as nice in black, purple, or green. Sadly they can’t be found now except on eBay.

  283. Madison says:

    Hi peeps!!! I had to sneak out to my smart phone and tell my fans/haters/followers/worshipers that my handsome hot daddy got me those hot Prada trashy/slutty/awesome shoes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    When I walk into a hot club in that my dear… no one will stop me. :):) whoohooo!! I RULE!!!!!!!!!!

  284. euphoria says:

    Why do those shoes remind me of the movie Talegada Nights?
    That’s it, I’m ordering them.
    After they arrive, I’m expecting daddy GT and i to go get kicked out of an applebees!

  285. DaddyGT says:

    I totally agree. I think for me it is more about the choices a woman will make at whatever price point her budget puts her.

    And as someone wiser than me pointed out a while ago, women tend to dress more to impress other women than men. Men are much easier to please. All she has to do, is pass that “Does she look nice in that?”, and fortunately, that’s an easy threshold to pass, even on a very modest budget.

  286. DaddyGT says:

    Oh bugger! I just realised that I totally ballsed up my post above. It was meant to read

    In my opinion, it should be “these shoes are nice. I want them. That they happen to be [insert brand], is incidental.”, and Not “These shoes are[insert brand]. They are expensive. They must be nice. I want them.”

  287. Honey says:

    If any big feeted women want to throw shoes my way,I’ll take all comers!
    taste like tacky, is in the eye of the beholder

  288. DorkyGuy says:

    @DaddyGT~ I agree with the concept that a woman who is flashing all her designer labels is probably too materialistic/high maintenance/superficial for me. That aspect of dress does communicate volumes.

    If the question is merely one of fabric quality or thread count, then I don’t think that tells you much about the girl, other than maybe what her clothing budget is, which is probably irrelevant.

  289. DaddyGT says:

    I just had to reGoogle those Prada shoes, in case my initial judgement had been a bit harsh.

    Found a site that offered photos from different views. Hahaha. I am now even more convinced that they are really trashy. If my SO and I were going to a fancy dress party (themed Red Light District), then yeah, they’d be great.

    On any other occasion? Hell no!

    Just out of interest …. do they have a battery pack for those tail lights? Hahahaha

  290. DaddyGT says:

    My opinion is pretty one-dimensional. “Does she look nice?”.

    I have to agree with that. That too is what I ask. That said, wearing logos like a billboard automatically consigns you to the “No, she doesn’t!” pile.

    I guess there was a time when branding was an imprimatur of quality. Nowadays though, I find that this is far less the case.

    A woman (I’m less interested in what men wear), has to look nice. And to achieve that nice look does not require designer logos. A woman who is solely obsessed with logos clearly does not ‘get this’ hence my comments above.

    In my opinion, it should be “these shoes are nice. I want them. That they happen to be <>, is incidental.”, and Not “These shoes are <>. They are expensive. They must be nice. I want them.

    The distinction is subtle, but says a lot about a person’s thought process, and what motivates them. Which is probably why I am happy to use my perception of that thought process as a proxy for many other things.

    However, the fact that people will spend untold millions on an “Unmade Bed” by a famous artist, is testament of the fact that there are plenty who don’t think like me. And that too, is OK.

  291. euphoria says:

    Grasshopper – as much as I like prada, those particular shoes look trashy on everyone.

  292. euphoria says:

    Your right dorky. That gave me an immature giggle.

  293. Grasshopper says:

    @”euphoria” – maybe Prada only looks trashy on YOU? Just a thought…

  294. DorkyGuy says:

    @DaddyGT/euphoria~ I am definitely not a clothes snob. My opinion is pretty one-dimensional. “Does she look nice?”. I couldn’t tell the major brands from the style… there have always been more important things in my life to devote my attention to.

    Having a personal sense of style is something that doesn’t come naturally. I tend to rely on salespeople for advice on what goes well together. I probably don’t match up to your high ideal of the well-dressed man, but I honestly don’t think that tells you as much about me as you think it does.

    As for the girl, I am not sure how much the thread count of her skirt may have in my perception of her beauty. I think probably not much, but maybe more than I realize.

    I totally agree about logos. Not a big fan of wearing logos and being a walking billboard… blah.. I don’t buy clothes with the brand displayed, and I think it’s a little tacky on others too.

    @euphoria~ Here is a joke I heard in 3rd grade that always prompts an immature giggle:

    “How are girls like jello? The both wiggle when you eat them.” 😛

  295. euphoria says:

    @Daddy GT- I couldn’t agree more. When i look for clothes, I try to look for something with no logos on them. Even if it is a LV, I still would rather have everyone realize the brand by the quality.. not the logo.

  296. NewYorkGirl says:


    just posting the shoes.
    i guess if a girl wants to make a statement “i like sex. i want sex” it is a good choice. i like them (even though i am very classy).

  297. DaddyGT says:

    Speaking of which, and to change the direction of conversation a bit.

    One of my favourite authors, Mark Twain, wrote “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society”

    The question I would openly ask the audience here is, Are you a clothes snob? If so, in what way. If not, why not, or what’s your opinion of people who are? And closely related to that question, Are there any fashion faux pas that would cause you to write off a pot SB, or pot SD on sight?

    I am a huge clothes snob. I think I got it from my mother. She used to own a clothing factory many years ago, and I used to ‘work’ there during the school holidays. (Heh … random skill I never seem to ever have added to my CV … I can sew, but only with an industrial sewing machine)

    I can tell good fabric from bad. I can tell good stitching from bad. I can tell a good cut / fit, from bad. As a result, I am not very enamoured by fashion labels. I don’t hate them. I find them interesting but I don’t really use them as a proxy for judging the quality of a design or item of clothing. I do however, totally hate people who, like I intimated above (in reference to those shoes with the tail lights), think designer labels are a good substitute for taste.

    Personally, any overt labels on clothing are a perfect turn off. If I need to see the designers logo to be impressed by your outfit, or accessory, I see that as a FAIL. I am totally more impressed by a woman who can put together a good look, than a woman who is trying to keep up with the seasons from the various fashion houses, despite the fact that (critics be damned), some of the creations from even their couture lines are absolutely horrid. And go to any expensive eatery. You can spot them. Women (in particular), and men, who have gone for the ‘expensive label’ look, rather than something elegant.

    This is where my snobbery kicks in. I personally think that there are certain skills a person should pick up before they can call themselves an adult, and being able to dress properly is one of them. The interesting thing too, is that while you do get incredibly expensive designer labels, one need not spend OTT to achieve this elegance. Taste is something you either get, or don’t and rightly or wrongly, I think I use that as a proxy to conclude many things about a person, particularly one I’ve just met.

    My personal opinion is that a spouse turning up with a Louis Vuitton bag with the logo emblazoned all over it, is perfectly good grounds for divorce. Right up there with gold teeth. But that’s just me. And that’s not really a joke. 🙂

    So for me, gauche and ostentatious jewellery, and walking (designer label) billboards, are definitely deal killers.

  298. euphoria says:

    @dorky- Does prada make jello now?

  299. DaddyGT says:

    I love the catfights. Popcorn futures are trending upwards. This is a great show.

    I love people like you. I too am a big proponent of honesty. I just wish everyone who thinks like you, was bold enough to express those thoughts just as honestly. “No Prada. No Madison!” certainly lets everyone know where they stand, and it certainly makes it easy for others who want something a bit different, to spot just where not to go.

    I can’t claim to be a shoe expert, but I do have to agree with you. If my date turned up in shoes like that, I couldn’t guarantee that I’d stick around for dessert. Unfortunately though, far too many people (both male and female), substitute ‘labels’ for taste.

  300. euphoria says:

    Oh and Madison I’ve probably given away more shoes then you’ve ever owned in your whole life?

  301. DorkyGuy says:

    I vote we dress both the girls up in Prada, put them in a tub of jello, and settle this thing like women ought to!

    My conflict resolution handbook that was part of marriage counselling is finally starting to pay off 😉

  302. euphoria says:

    madison-I don’t really need to brag about the contents of my closet. I’m actually married to my SD, were in an open and honest relationship. I also have a boyfriend that ive met off of s/a. so i do my fair share of shopping. I would just personally never waste his money on a $1400 pair of shoes that look completely tacky. Its like I said, just beacuse a shoe is a certain brand doesn’t make them tastefull.

  303. Honey says:

    The board gets lots of different voices,scroll WAY back to see some of MINE!
    Let’s not take offense at what people say ,sometimes they are replying to one person about a different topic…and stuff.Catfights are so Dynasty!

  304. Honey says:

    Ladies, we REALLY don’t know each other and have different taste. No Name calling. Don’t care who”started it” stop it. Turn on a soap opera. K
    “The best revenge is living well”

  305. Madison says:

    Euphoria, you certainly never wore Prada in your life my dear. Oh, we get crazy, darling… blowing is for breakfast. :):)

  306. euphoria says:

    Madison- I’m not jealous of anyone who would blow a guy for a pair of shoes that looks like something the queen of the traliler park would wear.

  307. Madison says:

    Honey, I’m on a roll tonight he will be begging me to stop!! LOL see ya girl!!

  308. Honey says:

    Good luck Madison!

  309. Teeny says:

    The site I work for slogan is “The stuff your wife wont do”.(its a fetish porn site with chat forums, just so we are all clear lol) I have no issue with married SDs. The reason most guys wont leave their wife is because they still love them, they just have needs that aren’t being met at home. The old saying “its cheaper to keep her” comes into play sometimes. Sometimes the issue is medical (wife has cancer, menopause, other various illnesses) and thats why there is a lack of sex in the marriage. Yes sometimes men are simply just horny guys looking for a wet hole where ever they can find one, sometimes its just nice to have a little variety. Unless you know the whole story on both sides dont jump to conclusions. The slogan for the site I work for applys greatly to SBs.. most likely a married SD is looking for a SB to do the things his wife wont do, be it sex, conversation, cooking or whatever… human nature really, if your not getting a need met from one place you will get it met somewhere else.

  310. Madison says:

    OMG I look so good!! Leaving to meet my sexy daddy. This little girl here, looks hot! :):)

  311. Anna Molly says:

    Welcome back MW! 😀

    Hi all! 😀

  312. Madison says:

    Euphoria don’t be jealous you will find your Prada daddy soon. xoxo

  313. Pebbles says:

    Happy Friday All

  314. euphoria says:

    Madison you never awnsered my question? Why don’t you direct your SD to the blog and let him read all of the amazing things that you had to say about him.
    You complain about his wife sucking him dry. But then you said that he would be soooo broke but you would be so happy. I’m just left to wonder who is really sucking your SD dry. I’m thinking it may be you. Literally!

  315. Madison says:

    On a completely different note, I have an interview for a new job next week, wish me luck. 🙂 I know you guys prob hate me now. Anyways, wish me luck!!!!! :):)

  316. Madison says:

    It seems everyone is defending their point of view. Thank you all for your time to write and express your opinions. I truly appreciate it. Tonight I will tell all about it to my sugar daddy who will be happily broke after my Prada purchase. Don’t worry guys, he will be rewarded so don’t feel bad for him.

  317. euphoria says:

    @Midwest- welcome back! We have missed your posts.

  318. DorkyGuy says:

    “And the more I read guys comments here…. the less likely I will ever want to walk down that dreadful aisle. Because the minute I hit 35, my hot husband will be here…. looking for a 23 year old telling everybody how miserable he is. God….save me. ~Madison

    Whether your husband appears on here complaining about how miserable he is depends mostly on you, not on him. If you think he will be miserable, I imagine you know how you will treat him better than anyone.

  319. Honey says:

    And bad wives make my job as a sugarbaby easy. They are mean never are happy to see them. Think sex is bad and yucking. I was a good wife, but was not appreciated at the time.
    Times sure have changed!

  320. Honey says:

    I once was on the cheated on wife side.Vowed never again. Changed me. Ex-hubby finally admitted his faults(sex addiction) and that I looked good so good that people ARE going to say “you slept around on her?”But he’s still one of my dear fiends,we held hands on the way down to the courthouse,filing for divorce. Afterwards, we had lunch.

  321. DorkyGuy says:


    I absolutely have a problem with lies. I find them obhorent. I was not taking issue with your stance on lies. I was taking issue with your opinions that married men who are in bad marriages are cowards who don’t work on their marriages. That is patently false.

    I have had a chance to talk to some of the guys here, and many of them have invested enormous emotional energy into trying to make their marriages work. Many of them only reach the decisions they have after agonizing and distressing reflection.

    Yeah, in a perfect world, just get a divorce, right? But I am telling you that divorce is not as easy a decision as you make it out to be. Often times the guy must weigh how much his children would be hurt, as well as other factors. Take just a moment and place yourself in that spot. Imagine having to choose between your pain and loneliness, and knowing that by fixing it you will hurt your children. Many men choose to remain in painful, lonely marriages for the sake of their kids.

    I have been in that spot… I chose to remain faithful and stay in the marriage, despite the one-sided effort. A guy who chooses the children’s best over his own happiness is a characteristic of a guy who is good at heart. Regarding the decision to have an affair… knowing the pain and loneliness of that position over a very long term, I find it hard to blame a guy who tries to find some comfort and happiness where he can.

    You paint this as a very black and white issue. It is not. There are unbelievable emotions and pressures involved. Just calling people blanket “pigs” is a very simplistic view that is often very inaccurate.

    Again, I was not taking issue with your stance on lies. I was taking issue with your blanket opinion that married men who are in bad marriages are pigs and cowards who don’t work on their marriages. That is patently false.

  322. NC Gent says:

    “My SD will be broke, but I will be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy”

    Madison — how does that line up with having ETHICS?

  323. euphoria says:

    Madison-So, I just happened to be online today and on the search for shoes to go with the pretty new dresses that I got on my shopping adventure yesterday. I was just curious about the prada tailight sandals that you have been ranting about.
    I was just wondering what you you plan to use those things for? Not getting hit while your walking up and down the boulevard? Or flagging down taxis on the way to the buss station? In all respect and honest option, those shoes are not really worth $1400 of your sds money. There’s a big difference between trashy and classy. Just beacuse it has the name prada on it doesn’t mean its tastefull.

  324. Madison says:

    And the more I read guys comments here…. the less likely I will ever want to walk down that dreadful aisle. Because the minute I hit 35, my hot husband will be here…. looking for a 23 year old telling everybody how miserable he is. God….save me.

  325. Madison says:

    Maybe I have something called ETHICS, which apparently is lacking in most people these days. If I am with someone, I don’t want lies. I would never be with someone with is playing another. My SD knows if he didn’t buy me Prada I wouldn’t be with him. I don’t lie to him and he doesn’t need to lie to me. he doesn’t need to lie to anyone. Maybe you guys here don’t have a problem with lies.

  326. Dutch Girl In London says:

    @Madison You can’t make that judgement until you have been married and/or have had children.

    Life is not always that simple and I for one would not judge.

  327. Madison says:

    My issue with married men is: if you are miserable darling….WHY NOT JUST DIVORCE. Don’t make excuses.

  328. DorkyGuy says:

    @MidWest~ Welcome back! I actually had it in my calendar for Monday to track you down and drag you back (while secretly hoping you had found your soulmate and were gone for good!). Good to have you back.

    “I find hard to understand how difficult it is to sit down with your spouse and say: darling, we need to have more sex, we need to have fun, we need to go to a sex club, spice things up. Or worse…..these men let their wives get fat, they don’t care about the wives appearance. How about buying them lingerie and going to say, a swingers’ club for couples? I think married men are just cowards. They don’t want to try to work on they marriages, they just want to sleep with 23 year olds. Oh god I will never marry…guys are pigs.” ~Madison

    @Madison, I was married 12 years, remained faithful, and am not in this category that you label as “pigs”. Even so, I find that entire rant ignorant, and verging on offensive. You don’t know what you are talking about. It takes two to make a marriage work, and often times the husband has made tremendous effort with no reciprocation.

  329. Dutch Girl In London says:

    @NC Gent – You have my sympathies, it must be very lonely feeling ‘alone’ in a marriage.

  330. NC Gent says:

    Boy, I wish I would have thought about sitting down with my wife and talking about our lack of sex…. oh wait, I did that about 10 times, and it got better for a few weeks, and slipped back into the same old routine…. hmmmm maybe if I was smarter, I would have bought my wife lingerie unexpectedly…. friggen senility… I now remember I did that too… and oops she exchanged the lingerie the next day for flannel pajamas… that was the final straw in a long string of tremendous effort…. trying going a year without intimacy when you are married, and then feel free to come back and judge away….

  331. Tina says:

    @Honey: gotcha!

  332. Honey says:

    He’s not THE one. that’s all. I knew that going in.We didn’t meet here but it was a married people down low site and I listed my wishes and stated my case flatly,something about not looking to spend nights in cheap hotel rooms and not wanting to hear about what you are not getting at home…stuff

  333. Tina says:

    @Honey: it’s a bad thing for you?

  334. Honey says:

    Tina ,
    No AWWW!

  335. Tina says:

    @Honey: awwwwww!

  336. Honey says:

    My Sd who I have been with over a year said the L word all last week…! Sent me a text with it!
    Allways happens to me…I could see it coming…but I didn’t want to find someone else,. I like things the way they are.
    There, my confession

  337. Tina says:

    @Midwest: MWAAAA!!!!! Welcome back my lovely!

    @Dorky: oh dear, I think college would only make you worse; you, surrounded by college girls AND being mentally stimulated? I shudder at the though 🙂

    @all: ok, so here goes. I’m not into dating married men either. I have my reasons. But, to paraphrase Midwest, it takes two to tango. My roommates are going through a divorce because she cheated on him. Her excuse? Once I moved in, their relationship fell apart because he was too close to me. For one, we weren’t close and there was NEVER a chance of him and I together…..let’s just say he’s not my type. And, she spent all of their off time together doing what she wanted, leaving him to do whatever he wanted. So, in my opinion, they naturally grew apart since they weren’t sharing anything any longer. There were other issues, but I won’t get into them.

    So, the decline of their relationship was duet o both of them. They both had concerns that neither communicated about, and both allowed the marriage to slip. There are very few cases that only one person in the relationship has full “blame” for the cheating – typically cheating happens when one or both parties aren’t getting what they need from the other.

    I’m not justifying it, but I can see how it is a possibility. There are many others here that have different situations that i won’t judge; no one except the parties involved (and in my situation I was an unintentional third party) can tell you their reasoning.

    I won’t judge the married SBs or SDs for their choices. That’s not what this lifestyle is about – it’s about being open, honest, NSA arrangements that you CHOOSE. If you choose not to be with a married SB or SD, or if you do, that’s a choice you personally make. Again, I have my thoughts on it, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to judge everyone for what I believe.

    Ok, someone needs to invent a portable, expandable soapbox that we can pass around. ‘Cause I’m done with mine. Next!

  338. Madison says:

    Oh he is really divorced, trust me I check those things. 🙂 But his wife is a B* who sucks the life out of him and calls him every week asking for cash. But he has 3 little adorable girls who spend time with him every other day. I met them they are adooooooorable. :):) Those shoes are going to be pre-ordered online tonight with his lovely american express. LOL LOL :):):)

  339. Midwest SB says:

    Madison – Have a great time tonight! I hope he is really divorced 🙂 Obviously you belong here… there is something for everyone on this site. It just isn’t a place for judgment. Love your wit and your taste in shoes. Perhaps your avatar will be a pic of you wearing those fab shoes.

    Phoneguy- I’m close, so if you have an extra ticket….. 🙂 Thank you for the welcome back.

  340. Madison says:

    @Phone Guy: My apologies, I am sorry about your wife, dear. I read you like Brazilian girls? Why is that? Sou do sul do Brasil, curiosa o porque do interesse.

  341. Madison says:

    I think I don’t belong on this site. But wait… I’m seeing my divorced, hot and handsome SD tonight who will make everything better. With gifts, dinners and hot fun. ahhh all better now…

  342. PhoneGuy says:

    NC Gent, Got my tickets for June. Can’t wait!

    MWSB, welcome back! We missed you.

    @Madison, Nope, I was faithful to my wife for 15 years until she died of breast cancer. Thanks for playing though! See I am able to put myself into others shoes and empathize with them or at least stand up for people who I think are being picked on.

    >these men let their wives get fat, they don’t care about the wives appearance
    WOW! That is just amazing. It’s the guys’ fault their wives get fat! I’m sorry I thought personal responsibility existed. My bad.

  343. Midwest SB says:

    NYG and SD Guru – Thanks for the warm welcome back!

  344. NYG says:

    Yes, “the old wife” can not look up at her husband, can not look at his eyes with internal odoration like a new girl who is going to see his success and see him as “a king of the word”.

    Do you know that “a man can not forgive his wife for his success!”. !

    meaning the wife was his wings. His success is 50% her success (without her help, her sacrifices he would not be “the king”), sometimes even subconsciously (or often consciously) he realize it. A wife can not look at his eyes with this adoration as a new girl would look – she knows who he was and how he become so successful – because of her involvement, her help.

    With a new young GF, SB a guy can see this sincere adoration and feel like a king (may be even for 1 hour a week:))) and feel his success is 100% his success.

    Widwest! you are back! your wisdom was missed a lot (we are so in need of the wisdom – so Amazing guys would not trick and take advantage of us 🙂

    I hope the SF girls know his real phone number, last name and job web site and post him at all fakeSD web sites, YouTube and Craig list, face book with his pictures attached.
    your sweet 🙂 NYG…. anyone wants to be my SD? 🙂 pls do not hesitate to contact me:)

  345. Midwest SB says:

    Madison – You speak as if the wives have no responsibility for their marriages. It takes two to make a marriage great and two to make it fail. I agree that if you can’t say “we need to have fun” or “we need to have more sex” then you don’t have a very strong foundation. It doesn’t necessarily take a swingers club to make it right either. People tend to expect the marriage to be perfect on its own and fail to put in any real effort.

    Remind yourself that this is a sugar site…not a dating site. If you don’t wish to have a married SD, then state so in your profile and used the advanced search option to choose single/ separated for your future SD. Remember that many women know their husbands are seeing someone on the side…they either choose to ignore it or they embrace it because she doesn’t want to fulfill that role any longer. Save the judgment.

  346. Madison says:

    @phone guy: I take you are the married ones here who is cheating on your wife…

    • SD Guru says:

      Oh god I will never marry…guys are pigs.

      Yes, guilty as charged. Some day, when you fall in love with that perfect guy and get married, then years later end up in an unhappy marriage for whatever reason, please remmeber the words you wrote in this blog. It’s very easy to judge when you haven’t been there. And chances are you’ll get there some day.


      Very well said and welcome back! The blog has missed your wisdom and happy days are here again! 😛

  347. Madison says:

    @Midwest SB: I never been married but I don’t know… I find hard to understand how difficult it is to sit down with your spouse and say: darling, we need to have more sex, we need to have fun, we need to go to a sex club, spice things up. Or worse…..these men let their wives get fat, they don’t care about the wives appearance. How about buying them lingerie and going to say, a swingers’ club for couples? I think married men are just cowards. They don’t want to try to work on they marriages, they just want to sleep with 23 year olds. Oh god I will never marry…guys are pigs.

  348. PhoneGuy says:

    Ladies, I get some of the new comers are annoying you and maybe you’re taking offense at perceived name calling (whatever a pro-SB is)…but taking shots at the middle aged guys and the married guys (together which probably compromise 90% of the SD membership) is not winning you any friends or going to turn the tide and turn this blog into happy, fun time. Just sayin.

  349. Midwest SB says:

    NC Gent <3 Missed you too! RHCP has to be a great show! I love their cover of "Higher Ground". My concert schedule is pretty lame so far…need someone to spice it up a bit 🙂

  350. NC Gent says:

    Welcome back Midwest! I missed you and your refreshing perspective so much! Saw the Chili Peppers Wednesday evening — pretty good show 🙂

  351. Midwest SB says:

    Madison – Here’s the ironic point…the married men I have met here are charming, sweet, generous, etc. The one I had an arrangement with was quite romantic and a great lover. It makes you wonder why their marriages no longer work. What I hear most is that the euphoria of meeting someone new who doesn’t know your downfalls, doesn’t care if you have to work late, and looks at you like you’re the king of the world is pretty hard to pass up. I’m sure they no longer get that from their wives. They also love their wives, but their needs (emotional and physical) are not being met. It does make marriage seem less appealing, but I think we tend to have idealistic views about marriage in the first place.

  352. Madison says:

    Looking at these SD’s profiles makes me wonder if I really want to get married someday. They say things like:

    “unhappily married”, “looking for day time fun”, “successful executive looking for NSA”.

    It kinda makes me throw up….

  353. Madison says:

    @Midwest SB: Happy Passover to you too!!

  354. Midwest SB says:

    Happy Good Friday sugars! Happy Passover too!

    I know lent isn’t over, but I just couldn’t wait any longer…it was harder than you think!

    Amazing Guy – You must have run out of people to impress with your narcissistic stories of how you give true SDs a bad reputation while taking advantage of the lovely young women who are naive enough to trust you will honor the SB/SD arrangement. There is a blacklist for men like you and your game will be over soon. I don’t think anyone here is impressed either. NEXT!

    Jessie – Thank you for the wishes! You have a keen memory!

    Looks like I have a lot of catching up to do!

  355. sakina says:

    Zijn er hier ook hollandse mensen te vinden? Gr

  356. Madison says:

    My Gucci purse: Soho Shoulder Bag in black. My SD will be broke, but I will be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy. 🙂

  357. Madison says:

    My fantasy right is here: Google Prada ‘Tail Light Flame’ Sandal. Nordstrom here I come…

  358. Madison says:

    @SouthernGent2: My Prada stilettos and that Gucci purse will be in my closet soon… I got a SD date tonight. Ha! 😛

  359. SouthernGent2 says:

    @Madison – nice stinky bait you are chumming with this morning.

  360. Madison says:

    @ AnnaMW: “You mean to say that when seeking out a libidinous tryst you don’t use the internet to meet short, middle aged married guys??? How is that not the ULTIMATE fantasy fulfillment… OMG…. Get with the program!!! ”

    LOL LOL You’re funny!! Sad thing there are actually men here that really think we do come here looking to “fullfill fantasies”…. I come here to fullfill my fantasy of going to 5th ave buying those Prada Stilletos I’m been craving for weeks!!!


  361. AnnaMW says:

    Thanks Miss Content….. Great post, Diana. 🙂

  362. spud lightyear says:

    I am married and have almost no companionship with my spouse due to her wishes. I was very lonely and I started looking for a solution to this loneliness. I discovered the sugar daddy – sugar baby concept last May and by July found a sugar baby (after a couple false starts). During our first date I discovered that this quite hot young woman was actually; let me say, a nymphomaniac. Talk about having some companionship: wow!

    We were meeting a couple times a week, maybe for breakfast or dinner followed by a cheap hotel frolic. She is a giver, and really knows how to satisfy a man (or a woman – she is bisexual), and is bold and uninhibited in all sexual matters. Given that she is a nymph she is quite sexually active outside of our arrangement with four or five other guys. This does not concern me; she is intelligent, highly educated, and medically trained: she plays safe at all times. In any case I was really getting attached to her. A twice a week rendezvous with a beautiful young woman, who willingly gives herself completely to you, really is a relationship difficult to control. I was really – really getting fond of this hot young woman. However, for her, I think I was just a sex toy that helped her make her bills.

    I had to dissipate this physically intense relationship. Instead of going “cold turkey” and terminating the arrangement with her, last September I decided to make an arrangement with a second sugar baby. I was hoping that seeing two women would dissipate my lust and desire for my first sugar baby, because I never wanted our relationship to go beyond “casual.” In this regard, I do not want to harm my family, nor do I feel that a long term relationship with me is good for my sugar baby – I am three decades her senior.

    I contacted eight or so women on seeking arrangement, and from this list I made an arrangement with a second sugar baby. My second sugar baby was actually a gal that I had communicated earlier. She stood out in the search pages on SA and is stunning. However, she is not a nymphomaniac, but is a stable, sweet, and self confident young woman.

    I now date each of these ladies once each every other week. My first sugar baby had no problem with this even though this cut her allowance through a modified arrangement. She realized that she was messing with my brain and she did not want to disappoint me or have me get overly fond of her (which I already had). Both sugar babies know about each other.

    My second sugar baby is really a “prototype” sugar baby. We date and do things other than “wild intense sex” in a cheap hotel. This includes nice dinners, taking in a play, doing a two or three day trip together, or just hanging together in a quiet lounge. We do get quite physical, but it isn’t this “wild nymphomaniac – you can’t leave until you’re so limp and exhausted that you can’t penetrate jello” thingy.

    This is the rub. It is hard for any woman to compete with a nymphomaniac, especially in a casual affair. I feel unsatisfied with my second SB even though I realize if I had met her without my first SB I would be in heaven. This has gotten somewhat worse lately. My second sugar baby is now dating a young man that she really likes who is close to her age. She sees me, per our arrangement, and cheats on this guy as I cheat on my wife – so at least now we have this in common. However, she has lost most passion for our relationship, and I suspect it is because of this young man. I feel happy for her, but selfishly I also feel I am wasting my time and money with her. She has not violated the agreed arrangement, but with her, it is now blah.

    Now that this second SB arrangement looks like it is on track to fail, I am likely going to be monogamous again with my first SB. She is still terribly addicting. I think I am going to need to go “cold turkey,” and/or find a “withdrawal from a nympho” support group in my area.

  363. DianaSBinOC says:

    I’m noticing that too. “Professional SB”. Where did that come from? As opposed to the girl that doesn’t realize the SD is fake?

    The ladies that are sleeping with SD’s early all learn eventually that they will receive nothing. It takes awhile but they eventually get it and that same fake SD is back on the site looking for new sign ups to play the “test drive” game with.

    I generally notice when I update my page all of the same fakes start messaging me , all with sign up dates the same month. Plus they are all in a rush , like they need to hurry up and grab numbers, emails and pictures before they cancel their membership for the 248th time.

    There are more scam/fake/joke daddy’s on this site than there are real SD’s. There are even some that claim SD but are nothing more than johns. So Sb’s will have to take time to wade through the fakes, flakes and frogs.

    If you look around and search out forums you’ll find some tactics of the fake daddies. There’s even a blog a guy wrote about how he’s a fake daddy and how he’s slept with so many women because of it. Plus looking back there’s always some new sb that posts about being taken advantage of.

    I see why Brandon put up this blog.

  364. DianaSBinOC says:

    @ AnnaMN! Haaa “get with the program” lol .
    @ContentSB lol
    @Jessie lol
    I can’t stop laughing . This is a lively blog!!!

    @ AmazingGuy? – Now these may be SB’s but I’m pretty sure they are expecting something from you. I see many blogs say ” so I slept with him and he hasn’t given me my allowance yet”. Oops yes she’s expecting something since those fireworks were going off for you.

    Now it’s funny that the other women that didn’t jump to make out with you or allow you to feel them up on date 0.8 were disregarded because lets see:

    ” Another who was clearly so disengaged that I told her “you’re not interested” which was ok as she was a very conceited law student and the least attractive of the bunch. Two of the prettiest college students you can imagine and a nice looking blonde who talked a lot– perhaps I would have pursued them in dating life, but after SA they seemed very tame.”

    Aah so playing with your parts in a public restroom on a first meet is what being an SB is all about? I see that if she’s not allowing you to feel her up then she’s “tame” or she’s “disengaged”.

    In other words if you can’t used them for your immediate physical “free” release then she’s not worth it or she’s conceited. Ha “worth” is a funny thing now isn’t it?

    Maybe they just realized you were a fake SD and they don’t slop around with the old guy that needs so bad to feel a woman up that he can’t wait all of course with $0.00 to offer , when they can sleep with hot guys their own age for $0.00

    I’ll expect to see some updated to the “fake sugardaddy blog” along the lines of :
    ” this man pushed his toothless mouth on me and began to feel me up” it was the worst and he lied about offering me an allowance ” I’m closing my account, where can I file a police report?”

    How much do you want to bet that this man doesn’t have on his profile : “I will never give an allowance, I’m just here to meet younger attractive women for FWB?”

    Oh wait that would be too honest right? Can’t let the SB’s know that you’re fake. Don’t worry your secret is safe with us. Glad you posted:)

    Still can’t believe a no allowance middle aged man is calling Real SB’s conceited because he couldn’t finger them under the table before looking over the menu. How Classy:)

    *** ( Please excuse the horrible mental/graphic picture)***

  365. DorkyGuy says:

    @Amazing/CSB~ LOL! I aspire to be college educated one day. Seriously thinking of giving it a go a few years down the road. Maybe that will make me more mature 😛 doubt it though!

  366. ContentSB says:

    @AnnaMW — Yes. Yes. Yes x 1000. Couldn’t have said it any better 🙂 you rock.

  367. AnnaMW says:

    Okay… Is anyone else bothered by the sudden emergence of the term “professional SB” to women who are here for the type of relationship that this site exists to promote?

    The term has been thrown around by the pseudo-SDs to refer to girls who actually have arrangements as they are defined by this website as though it’s somehow negatice. Below are Brandons definitions of Sugar Daddy and Sugar Baby. Food for thought……

    Sugar Daddy: The modern sugar daddy is a successful and generous man who is willing to pamper and offer financial help or gifts to a young person in return for friendship and companionship.

    Sugar Baby: A sugar baby is an attractive, ambitious and goal oriented individual who has a lot to offer. He or she is generally younger and is looking to meet wealthy, successful and generous people who are willing to pamper and offer financial assistance or gifts in return for their friendship or companionship.

  368. Summer says:

    How does Scottsdale, Az rate as a top SD city….Im hoping it rates well!

  369. ContentSB says:

    @Amazing? — Hmmm…well, several people on the blog, including me, know Dorky personally and he’s far from an immature teenager/college guy. He’s one of the most genuine and caring people I’ve ever met, and I’m sure others here would agree with that in a heartbeat. So, there’s no need to insult anyone here 🙂

    The girls you’re seeing aren’t SBs, nor are you a SD. Your stories don’t align with the definitions of SBs and SDs…however, I’m glad you found something that works for you.

  370. Amazing Guy? says:

    @Jessie Read those stories by Dorky and those are just outrageously stupid stories probably written by a college guy or a teenager.

    @SD Guru, @ContentSB and @Jessie: I have nothing to do with any of the previous posters and this is the first time I’ve written on this blog. I posted because I can’t believe this has happened to me and as an antidote to all those professional SBs who insist on compensation. Sometime the guy is all the compensation the SB wanted (which I still find amazing).

    @Madison– So what’s new about that? It’s the fact that a middle age (although not paunchy) guy is getting one of you is what makes the story new.

  371. Jessie says:

    Hmmmm…why do I feel that Amazing Guy is just Dorky’s way of telling me another of his Amazing…”I’ve met this Amazing SB with 2 breasts on her abdomen” stories? Dorky, just in case it’s not you…Thank you Amazing Guy ;). I was starting to get bored. Geesh, you guys just keep letting the strangers in to do all the entertaining. Amazing Guy, next time don’t leave out the part where the SB gets under the table, unzips you and… Well, I’d better stop there, don’t want to ruin your story for next time. Plus it will sound sooo much more believable coming from you :).

    @Content – Thanks for the laugh. That profile is hilarious.

    • SD Guru says:

      @Amazing Guy

      Thanks for sharing your stories. You exemplify the reason why SF is the top city for finding a SD. You wouldn’t happen to be ChicagoDaddy’s cousin/neighbor/buddy, would you?? :mrgreen:

  372. AnnaMW says:

    @ Madison – You mean to say that when seeking out a libidinous tryst you don’t use the internet to meet short, middle aged married guys??? How is that not the ULTIMATE fantasy fulfillment… OMG…. Get with the program!!!

    Seriously, I am one of those rare girls in her 20’s who actually prefers dating older guys IRL (late 30s- mid 40s)… I find more equality, intellectual stimulation, harmony and genuine attraction with them then I do with guys my age…… That having been said, if I were into sport sex, I imagine I would be in LA looking for Ryan Gosling or Zac Efron types, not going to 3rd base on first dates with guys I meet online.

  373. Honey says:

    Amazing Guy? happy you lucked out to find such willing…sugarbabies lol
    Goodnight all, sweet sugar dreams

  374. ContentSB says:

    @Madison, AnnaMW, PrinceCharming — Yeah…you all nailed it. It’s men like that who have no business being on the site. “be my girlfriend for an hour…but i’m not looking for an escort…” Yes. Yes you are. *sigh* It’s so funny because the sugar concept is not a difficult one…yet so many people *just don’t get it.*

  375. ContentSB says:

    @Guru — Seriously! And the shocking part was that he was a premium member. I couldn’t stop laughing when I read that.

    @AmazingGuy — Best of luck dealing with all of the people you rubbed the wrong way with that post :p I’m not even going to touch that post…but you remind me of a guy from Colorado who posted several months ago…and that didn’t go well lol.

  376. Madison says:

    @Amazing guy: Dear…. we, hot girls, don’t need a website to find hot guys to sleep with and fulfill our fantasies. Keep in that mind….

  377. Madison says:

    @ AnnaMW ” Its hilarious to me that some guys appear to join because it will be *cheaper* than hiring an escort!”

    I know right? Some guys on the site are just in denial. They think that by browsing the site they will find Gisele Bundchen for an allowance of a Somalian worker….

  378. Amazing Guy? says:

    I write that name with a wry sense of humor but you’ll see why later on. As I type this, I am exhausted. Why? Because 30 mins ago I finished having sex with this amazing, hot, 27 y.o. girl that I don’t think I would have ever met or landed if it were not for this site. So thank you, thank you, thank you, Brandon Wade for creating this site. And thank you, thank you, thank you to all you hot young babes that have made this the most amazing 5 weeks of my life.

    The first girl that I connected with via SA was for a lunch date in SF. It was one of SF’s better establishments, but not some overpowering palace that drips of wealth. Just being with her made me feel good– the kind of young, pretty babe that any man would be after. We got along fabulously and segued to the lounge area. It was going so well that I decided to lean in and kiss her. She kissed me back, so I kissed her again and our tongues intertwined. At that point, I discovered her pierced tongue and my mind turned to mush. More conversation and she was showing me pics on her phone– she flips left and forgets she has a naked pic of herself. She’s apologetic and blushing but I’m thinking “OMG, I’ve got a live one.” Later, I had my hand on her back and noticed no bra. My brain on fire, I slid my hand down and felt no panties. I lean in again and ask her if she is wearing any underwear (I guess you could say we are getting along really, really well). She says no, and then suggests that we could go to a bathroom across the street to discover a few things….Since this is a public forum, I’ll skip the details, but we spent the next 2 hours “messing” around in the bathrooms and stairwells of SF skyscrapers, ultimately culminating in the back seat of my car in a multi-story garage…

    Then there was the one who I also took to lunch and ended up smooching with a few times. As I drove her home, my hand ended up on her leg and … then got to 3rd base for the rest of the ride. Another girl, midway through dinner, which just happened to be at a hotel, suggests we could get a room. I immediately pay the tab… and upon entering said room, she pulls the curtains shut…Today’s adventure started last week, where I met this girl (yes, they are all different) for dinner. The night ended up with her willingly let me get to 2nd base, but leaning against her car (didn’t want anything to happen in her backseat). I left town for a meeting and texted her to set up our next meeting. We arrange for lunch and then she texts to let me know that her place will be empty.

    It’s not been all fun and games, though. There was the one who stood me up (knew it was going to happen, but showed up anyway). Another who was clearly so disengaged that I told her “you’re not interested” which was ok as she was a very conceited law student and the least attractive of the bunch. Two of the prettiest college students you can imagine and a nice looking blonde who talked a lot– perhaps I would have pursued them in dating life, but after SA they seemed very tame.

    So here’s the kicker and I expect a lot of flaming from you professional SBs. You might think that I have dangled incredible offers of money, allowances and trips. No, I’ve only given a TOTAL of $70 to all these girls for gas, parking, incidentals. You might think I’m some incredible hunk. No, I am 5’7″ and 46 years old. Ok, I might look 10 years younger, and when I was in my 20s-30s I was a very good looking guy, but I really think my best years are past me. I am very funny, very interesting to talk to, but what has happened to me has exceeded anything I’ve ever experienced.

    My conclusion is that there are definitely girls out there that are looking for someone interesting who can fulfill their fantasies. Scrolling up, I see that Chicago Daddy says that 1/3 of the girls aren’t here for the money but some of you disbelieve. It’s real, I’ve been there.

  379. Felicia says:

    I hear Toronto is the San Fran of Canada.. Guess I’m in the right city !

  380. Tina says:

    I’m just tired…..yeah, THAT’S it…..or stressed……have my mind on a lot of things……

  381. Tina says:

    @Prince Charming: I’m afraid that you are correct. Apparently I need a lot more practice to help alleviate this problem……. 😉

  382. Prince Charming says:

    @Tina- Looks like a severe case of premature capitalization to me.

  383. Tina says:

    Ok, let’s all just ignore my lack of typing skills tonight. Holy crap! That was supposed to read as “someone who IS a pro…”


  384. Tina says:

    @Prince Charming: or he’s just describing someone is WHO is pro, and either they just don’t want or admit it or they don’t know it 😉

    @AnnaMW: I’m not going to comment on the married SD issue, since I have before, and I’m afraid Guru might whip out his dead horse emoticon on me 🙂

  385. Honey says:

    lol prince charming!

  386. Prince Charming says:


    You know, it’s true. He’s not looking for a pro… he’s describing one.

    My takeaway here is he really wants a pro, but a special pro — one that will lie to him about who she is. Interesting fetish/disorder.

  387. AnnaMW says:

    @ Guru – I don’t judge or condemn married SDs or the babies who date them…. In a previous post I described the “kids showing up crying/chair through the SBs window at the hands of the wife” scenario… That is the type of harm I’m referring to. While it wasn’t my friends fault or responsibility, she still played a part in causing a family pain and had to deal with serious consequences, including being dragged into a high profile divorce and outed as a mistress.

    I’m not saying that I never would become involved with a married guy, but I really have avoided it. Single guys don’t come without trouble, but its a lot more manageable than the thought of dealing with all of the third parties that come along with married guys.

    • SD Guru says:


      Obviously the wife and kids would disagree. Even if you’re in an open marriage you still have kids to think about. That’s why discretion is so important.


      No one wants the scenario you described to happen. It’s the SD’s responsibility to ensure discretion and keep the SB out of his family life. Some SD’s are better than others at keeping it discreet, while some simply don’t care.

  388. DorkyGuy says:

    @SD Guru~ lol, of course most married SD’s think that. I wonder if the wife and kids would agree? Not trying to change your mind, just providing another perspective 😉

  389. AnnaMW says:

    @ Madison & Content – Its hilarious to me that some guys appear to join because it will be *cheaper* than hiring an escort!

    • SD Guru says:

      Just ran across this profile and HAD to share it with everyone.

      That profile reads like it was cut and paste from an ad on craigslist. Was he even a premium member?

      Knowingly playing a role in adversely affecting a strangers life (wife/kids) is too much for me to handle.

      I think most married SD’s would disagree that their SB’s are “adversely affecting a strangers life”. I’m not trying to change your mind, I’m just providing another perspective.


      Ideally in the sugar world there are no strings and no drama but unfortunately sometimes things don’t work out that way. In the lifestyle community as well as in the sugar world, a certain level of discretion is required and for some it’s an absolute must. Even as a swinger couple in an open marriage, I’m sure you have to take into account your professional life as well as your extended family life. You may think that you’re at less risk than most, but a free for all approach can only increase the risk. But then again I’m not saying anything you don’t already know.

  390. Madison says:

    @ContentSB : The “little extra money” is killer…. unreal….LOL

  391. Madison says:

    *they insult our intelligence

  392. Madison says:

    @ContentSB: I come across those types of profiles all the time. In fact, in my experience most guys on the site are like this moron you mentioned. They want a girl who is:

    – young ( and they mean no older than 24)
    – smart ( PhD candidate material)
    – sophisticated like princess Kate (riiiight)
    – who will sleep with them and do whatever they wish, for next to nothing (200 bucks tops)

    I feel like insult our intelligence on purpose by writing that kind of crap….

  393. ContentSB says:

    Oooooh my goodness. Just ran across this profile and HAD to share it with everyone.

    “Be my girlfriend for an hour a week.
    I’m not looking for a pro. I’m looking for that attractive and fit girl that just needs a little extra money and has companionship to share. I’m not looking to be a long term sugar daddy, just a mutually beneficial arrangement roughly a couple times a month. I’m mid 30’s, Caucasian, professional, clean cut, attractive fit and polite. You should be sophisticated, attractive, fit, fun and open minded. I want you to be my girlfriend for an hour. Send me a note if interested in my profile. This could really make sense for both of us if you really think about it. I’m for real, this is a real offer and I’ll delete all of the fake spam and automated responses. Will only consider profiles with picture.

    Please don’t contact me if you are a professional escort. No disrespect intended, just not what I’m looking for.”


  394. Dallas Gentleman says:

    Based on many messages between SBs online from all over the country, definitely a good number of SDs are inflating or flat out not being forthcoming. I think, as some suggest, that the stats have to either have figures for both SBs and SDs (not just SDs), or none at all, especially regarding financial info. For instance, a stat showing how nany SBs are engaged in illegal acts like prostitution or mail faud, and how much onn average SDs are getting bilked this way. Also, how many SDs does an SB have and what is the average sugar outlay per SB per month, as well as the average number of months each SB spends with each SD in her SD list. All is fair in sugar and war 🙂

  395. Chicago Daddy says:

    @SD Guru

    The word “blackmail” was a bit startling. I had to think about that, but yes. Secrecy, money, potential for loss, financial and perhaps emotional dependance… all of the ingredients are there.

    In the lifestyle community (swingers) it is referred to as being “outed”, and it can have significant consequences for a few professions. Politicians, educators, even officers in the military must exercise some caution. That said, it is a big community and it happens often. The usual result is a big yawn. (Who cares. Wish I could do that. You won’t believe what I just heard. Etc.) The exceptions are adult children of swingers, who often become sanctimonious, and break-ups, where past behaviors might be used as weapons in, say, a divorce.

    Drama in the sugar community? You have me again. If blackmail is possible… well, what is blackmail but drama taken to an extreme?

    Still, I am less at risk than most. If I am not showing a woman anything more than a good time and the occasional gift, she is not dependent upon me. I practice radical honesty, which is more likely to produce laughter than tears.

    @ AnnaMW
    You will not be surprised to learn that my wife is seriously disappointed with the sugar daddy population. Out of about 50 applicants, only 2 have made it to lunch. I shudder to think what will happen if she takes them to bed.

  396. Jessie says:

    @Ellae – These are just my suggestions, so discard whatever rubs you the wrong way 😉

    All your pictures look the same, so I’d delete all but the first one. Upload at least two pictures that are full length, (different pose, different outfit,) but make them private viewing only.

    Change your education to “College Student” (or whatever the drop down is, can’t remember) Delete the first two paragraphs of your introduction. The others are okay, but I’d keep it to just two paragraphs and tweak them to show how you’ll enhance a SD’s life. Delete the spacing in the “who you’re looking for” section; and change your last sentence when you’re inviting the SDs to contact you. Can’t remember anything else right now.

  397. Prince Charming says:

    I’ve known a couple SBs that went down this path, and all I can advise is don’t do it. If there’s no chemistry, it shows in your interactions with the SD: you tense up when he touches you, you avoid dates, and in countless other ways, so it turns in to a bad experience for both of you. If you stay in the situation it ends up wearing you down and will make you absolutely miserable in a very short time. You owe it to yourself and the SD to pick someone you really want to be with during your time together — any other choice really isn’t being true to yourself or what sugar dating is all about.

  398. Jessie says:

    @BFox – The tone alone of your post says it all. Being with someone, or even contemplating starting an arrangement with someone you have no chemistry with, will make you extremely unhappy. As you’ve come to realize, I’m sure, an allowance won’t fix this. There might be SBs who are able to “date” a SD they have no chemistry with, but you don’t have to make that same choice. Choose someone you’ll look forward to being with…not just on excursions, but also in the bedroom. Choose someone who makes you feel good about yourself. Choose someone who feels like a friend first, then lover and mentor. Choose someone who makes you giggle just because… When you find a SD like that, you’ll wonder why you ever consider being with someone you have no chemistry with. In the sugar bowl, it doesn’t have to be one or the other, and in order to have the most enjoyable experience it SHOULD be with someone you most definitely HAVE chemistry with. Best of luck!!

  399. Tina says:

    I’m working, but I’ll spend time with family later this month to make up for it 🙂 Enjoy your Easter Honey! For everyone who celebrates, have a great day!

  400. Honey says:

    what’s evreyone doing for easter? Church, family, sports? I plan on a roasted leg of lamb.

  401. Honey says:

    Figure run down huh?
    Well…I’m almost 5’5 size 6-10,got broad back to hold up the 38c that I think balances my figure.Long arms and legs. always feel like the big girl since most of my friends are shorter than I!
    Bu tI make do!

  402. Anna Molly says:

    I lost some weight recently and now when I shop it seems like all I can find are the sizes I use to be! 😀

    I guess that’s just the way it is! Seems as if every time I find something I really love they don’t have my size and it’s really frustrating! However, I do have a lovely St. John evening gown that I adore, but, now it needs to be taken in a bit. You would think that losing weight would make things a bit easier, but in reality, it isn’t. Especially when you have boobs as big as mine!! Big boobs can be a problem girls, really. Certain clothing stores make tops to fit certain bra size and that sucks!! I demand that designers make clothing to fit all body types, period!! 😀

  403. Anna Molly says:

    Holy crap! A size 1/2! I can’t imagine being that tiny! I’m a size 6/8, 5′ 7″, nice hourglass figure, 34 DD, hazel eyes and mahogany hair. 🙂

  404. euphoria says:

    Anna Molly- you and me both. Sure, if i go out to a nice place I’ll put my makeup on. But if were alone or just doing some shopping around town then I just go withought it. The guys that i date don’t really like the taste of makeup. I think a guy tha t can appreciate te fact that I’m a naturaly pretty girl is awesome.
    Al of the guys that I’ve dated seem to really like the fact that I’m a size 1/2, blonde hair, green eyes, pretty in the face and that I have little perky boobs. They also enjoy taking me shopping and watching me try on all of the pretty clothes for them. I like playing dress up.

  405. Anna Molly says:

    Hi everyone! 😀

    You know, the gent I’m seeing prefers it when I DON’T wear makeup. He says I’m beautiful without it and it’s quite refreshing to hear such a comment! However, I do wear a little when we go to galas and such, but, I keep it very simple. It feels a little strange to pack make up in my overnight bag and not use it though…lol. 😀

    I’m still trying to plan this trip to Germany and I’m not getting anywhere! I need help!!

    I hope all of you have a great weekend! 😀

  406. PhoneGuy says:

    @Christiana, I think you forgot to put a smiley. 😛

  407. anna holland says:

    I don’t know how, but I find SA a great site,:D only good experiences. and I am not from the USA but meet a lot of SD from there.maybe its also about your attitude, dont sell yourself cheap and be nice and classy. Take good care of yourself ( which doenst mean u need to spend a 1000 a month on nails etc) I am very natural , good looking and never wear tons of make up. Keep it up SA. X

  408. Christiana says:

    Close your eyes and think of England

  409. BFox says:

    I was wondering if any of you SBs get SD s whom you don’t ahve any chemistry with. then what:( but they are generous…

  410. Teeny says:

    I got called controlling and bossy today by a guy I met (well talked to) on another SD site. Apparently asking questions, stating limits and looking for a SD who provides financial assistance is controlling and bossy. He was looking for a Dom/sub relationship..on a SD site. Im aware that kind of relationship is not uncommon in the sugar world but he was just looking for a sub to “mentor” without financial assistance. I guess controlling and bossy could also be called entitled lol

  411. ContentSB says:

    @Jessie — Oh you make me laugh haha 🙂 I so wish people were as well versed in sarcasm as you lol.

    It’s true though, that it seems like most of these stories need to be taken with a very large grain of salt 🙂

  412. AnnaMW says:

    @ Jessie – Great post… The spectator has ruffled a lot of feathers. 🙂 Haha…

    @ Euphoria aka Jenniebug (just realized you were one and the same) – I totally understand!

  413. Jessie says:

    @Content – I don’t think you over-reacted at all. I’ve long since accepted the fact that I AM entitled. The common thread is…if you state that you want an allowance rather than P4P – you are entitled. If your allowance is above $1000 per month – you are entitled. If you have ANY self-confidence and high standards – not only are you entitled but you’re also arrogant. However, if you’re willing to “date” a SD and accept that being in his presence is a gift, and you couldn’t possibly accept anything from him – then you must be a genuine SB and certainly not one of these entitled snobs. If you’re willing to accept that there isn’t any difference between P4P and an allowance – again…entitled, you are not. Actually, it’s starting to seem that if you breathe too hard you’re entitled. So…entitled I AM.

    I love it when the guys tell their “stories,” because it’s certainly more believable that a man can register on a sugar “dating” site and “date” countless ladies who are merely here for the pleasure of being wined and dined by them; but it’s totally unbelievable that a SB could actually find a SD who is willing to not only take care of all her financial needs, but in fact offer her an allowance of $5000 ;).

  414. euphoria says:

    AnnaMw- No, I’m not offended at all. I just don’t get into dollars and cents on a public forum. Certain parts of my life will never be talked about to people that I just don’t know.

  415. AnnaMW says:

    @ euphoria – I hope I didn’t offend you by mentioning you in my post! Its just that you’d alluded to being very secure and well taken care of on multiple occasions. I assumed you were someone who could substantiate for all of the naysaying SDs that we do in fact exist. 🙂

  416. AnnaMW says:

    @ Content – I hear you… It did kind of come across as an argument of “no woman deserves sugar and anyone who give it up is a loser”… Thankfully there is only one person who thinks that and he seems to be a voyeur from a different scene anyway.

  417. Honey says:

    PLShay, come on down, we’ll leave the porch light on!

  418. Honey says:

    I’m mostly anon. but I have no reason to lie. I tell my tale to share with others to represent!.I’m saving every month,am working on a new business and school! Don’t own one pair of louboutins!

  419. PLShay says:

    @ TR, thanks for your response and insight. Good to know I’m not imagining it….

    @ Honey, thanks to you as well. Sure wish I was in Houston (on my list of possible future home cities) because I would be down for a mentor. lol

  420. ContentSB says:

    @AnnaMW — I’m not really “put off” by ChicagoDaddy, because I’m usually a very laid back “to each their own” type of person. I was more bothered by all of the “entitlement” chatter followed up by the “i don’t need to give allowances” discussion. They are two separate things that kind of became connected by the flow of conversation. It was probably an overreaction on my part 🙂

  421. euphoria says:

    AnnaMW- thanks for including me in your conversation, but I don’tdiscuss my finances with anyone unless I feel comfortable sharing that information with them. But yes, I am financially secure. I can support myself comfortably. Thanks for the inquiry. 🙂

  422. Honey says:

    MS. AnnaMW- thank you very much, i have often found wisdom in your offerings to the board, You are truly gracious and I can well see what the smart sd would like in you!~

  423. AnnaMW says:

    @ ContentSB – In defense of the boys, I am in that upper range, but can’t recall having been insulted by any of the guys here… I kind of understand why they are upset. It isn’t classy or tactful to call a guy cheap or unworthy of being an SD just doesn’t have a budget we can work with. It is equally tacky to accuse SBs of lying or calling their SDs chumps for being more wealthy and generous.

    To address your second point, I was initially put off by ChicagoDaddy as well. I wrote him off as a troll who was using SA to sleep with women before leaving them high and dry with no discussion of an arrangement. I thought he was the worst kind of predator. If what he’s saying is true and he is honest with the women he meets, then I was totally wrong and he is one freakishly lucky guy…. I don’t agree with all of his “what women want” insights, because if I were looking for a casual sex buddy, middle aged, married and highly promiscuous wouldn’t be on my list of desirable traits.

    @ Miss Honey – You neglect to mention that your rent, car, tuition and other expenses are covered as well. 🙂 You are proof that SDs can appreciate women of all kinds and go for for sharp wit and intellect as well as beauty.

    @ Guru – The Single vs. Married debate is interesting. You are right that single guys aren’t devoid of drama. I’ve had meetings with single guys who were obviously looking for serious relationships and I’ve had single SDs who seemed to get it but became overly attached later. I totally understand the risks…. For me the difference is that the only two people who stand to get hurt are me and him. Knowingly playing a role in adversely affecting a strangers life (wife/kids) is too much for me to handle. If the wife is aware or he’s separated, it’s fair game.

  424. Christiana says:

    Im not trimmed Im bare

  425. NYG says:

    to Contant.

    I think that guys have to come to SA site pay membership and try to get the sugar (sex with younger girl) for free. and the girls have to register at SA site and try to get sugar (financial support) without providing any intimacy. then it is mutual beneficial and Content, SBofOC and ChicagoNoSugarDaddy are happy.

    How come she is 30 years younger +500.
    He is a good conventionalist (trimmed ) -500.

    30 years younger only $500? and no one objected that? within 24 hours?

    If SB is a good conventionalist, educated, trimmed, go to gym as well (and all these things
    ChicagoD mentioned as “-$500” then he is looking at + $10.000. ) 🙂

    To me! All these swinger /poly things … =STD, STD, STD + as GT wrote a lot condoms, a lot of latex gloves and scafandri.

  426. Honey says:

    My allowance is 3000 + $1000 for entertainment and clothes, almost $5000.
    I can’t say what the average is because I needed something that suited me.
    And I’ve NEVER been average!

  427. Honey says:

    I’d mentor a female in Houston, but she HAS to listen and do what I say!!!

  428. AnnaMW says:

    @ ChicagoDaddy – Your being a swinger makes so many things fall into place. I better understand your approach, appeal and commend you and your wife for having such honest discussion about your desires. If you are having the kind of luck you claim, kudos, especially if you are being honest and up front about not having an allowance budget. I wouldn’t date you (sorry, the promiscuity/self described womanizer thing ruins it for me), but you probably wouldn’t date me either. 🙂

    I couldn’t agree more with your statement about successful, attractive women having a smaller dating pool to choose from, leading them to sites like SA. The pool is smaller, but young, pretty, independently successful women who like older men are at the top of the food chain for the most accomplished men. I have no trouble meeting these types IRL due to my career, but when I am not feeling up to a full-marriage minded situation, I come to SA, usually between serious relationships. Nothing is impossible, but meeting here is generally ruins the prospect of a serious relationship developing.

    @ SouthernGent & ChicagoDaddy

    I assure you that 5k+ arrangements are alive and well, especially among blog women (Jenniebug? Honey?). That is my baseline and I haven’t had trouble meeting people who can accommodate that. I am not a career SB which allows me to be picky and take my time. Like DutchLondon, I looks situations where we can enhance each others lives in ways other than sex, money and basic companionship.

  429. Jessie says:

    @SGent2 – If you read the “stories” like I do….merely for the entertainment value…then it makes for a more interesting read ;). Let’s face it, the blog would be a total snore if all that was written were factual statements. You’d start complaining about it getting too depressing with all this “woe is me…” I like the variety. I love the imagination. It’s one of my favorite ways to relax. The only time “lies” bother me, is when I’m involved with the person. As long as I have no intention of meeting you, or being with you…your “story” is for my entertainment only.

  430. ContentSB says:


    I don’t know why I’m even going to write a response Re: Entitlement, but I am. I just can’t help myself 😉

    If some girls have found SDs who have given them a 5k/month allowance, why are they being called entitled??? If anything, people should be excited for them! Of course every girl would *love* to find that, but I also think most are realistic and aren’t expecting to find those over-the-top generous men who can afford that. The men are the ones providing these allowances, so isn’t that where the real “problem” lies, and not with the SBs who are the recipients of those allowances?

    And, on the other hand, men are praising each other for finding women who don’t want allowances. Yeah, I suppose that’s great in its own way, but then why are you a SD??? I think I’m irritated by this because it’s another double standard where men are glorified and women are looked down upon. It reminds me of high school all over again where the girl with the…”friendly vagina”…is a slut…and the guy with the equally “friendly dick” is the top dog. In this situation, women who receive “too much of an allowance” are entitled, and men who don’t put forth an allowance have mad game.

    Again, oy.

  431. Va Gentleman says:


    Quoted from marriage and relationship expert Dr Michelle Golland licensed clinical psychologist:

    “Some women sleep with married men because —–”

    Wow interesting analysis ! I feel like I’m in my therapist’s bed . ( She only charges me a $2000 /month allowance and likes married men -but she is in a mid sized market) .

    I wonder what Dr Golland would say about girls who sleep with men for money . Thank goodness there are those of you who will do it for sure .

  432. Jessie says:

    @Dorky – You promised you wouldn’t tell ANYONE about my extra boobs ;). That trip…Cave of the Winds…so not gonna happen now :). I’ll still be following your every word about the Snorkelingus though.

  433. euphoria says:

    This one time, in sugarland… I went on a date with Superman. He wore the tights and everything. 🙂 I don’t know why nobody believes that these things really do happen to me. Like omgz… we went to a party and Godzilla tried to ruin it. But superman is the besterist. He made Godzilla leave me alone.

  434. Chicago Daddy says:

    @NC Gent
    “So 1/3 of the women on a site expressly set up for sugar dating are not there for the money? I think in 5 years I have met one woman like that on the site, but maybe I need to move to Chicago.”

    Upon consideration, you have a point. There is considerable churn on the site, and I required women to contact me. The career SB’s avoid me. The type of women I am interested in may not stay on the site very long – say a few months. Also, I automatically ruled out all women under 25 in my thinking when I came up with that number, yet women under 25 are at least half the population. I have been experiencing a biased sample.

    “so what is your point in all this you are posting? Have you convinced 1/3 of the blog girls to come see you in Chicago (for free)?”

    Actually, the first line in my profile is, “Sorry ladies, I am off the market.” I’m just too busy.

    I suppose I am reacting to the negative comments I have gotten from women. They come in two varieties.

    One is from the career SB’s – how dare I not offer them money? Patricia’s reaction to my post is typical. I threaten her income. But then, I would hazard to guess that Patricia would be equally upset by the women I meet. They threaten her income, too.

    The second type of comment comes from the women I do see. They are appalled at the men. Granted, some of these men, like some of the women, were born as jerks and then perfected the definition. But I have to think most men have been shaped by their experiences with career sugarbabies.

    To these men I would say the arguments presented by career sugar babies are bogus. At a basic level they play upon men’s fears. You are too old to attract a beautiful woman. You need to keep things secret. If you are married, you have to hide things from your wife. You are disgusting, but I will f- you if you give me insert-fabulous-sum every month.

    Career sugarbabies are in coopetition. It is in their interest to collaborate, to persuade incoming women (particularly the younger more gullible women) that fantastic sums are the norm, and that by collectively playing on men’s fears they raise the price. I believe this has an overall negative impact upon the men, who are shaped by the expectations and attitudes of the women.

  435. SouthernGent2 says:

    @Jessie – I am tired of some of the entitlement posts that some of the blog girls are making. Its just a case of “look at me, look at me”. I have a very good grasp of what goes on out there in the “Sugar World”. I know some beautiful girls that aren’t getting much of anything. And not meeting too many quality guys and such”. So based on what I know with personal experience, I am not buying a lot of these stories about how some blog girl has found her prince charming SD that gives her 5k per month. Sorry if I sound like I am calling some girls out, but it is what it is. And what they write “ain’t the truth”.

  436. Charis says:

    Ok so I have been reading the blog off and on all morning instead of doing my statistics homework (irony considering how this particular blog topic got started), and one thing which has been touched on, beaten around and just plain double speak as an underlying theme is “Judgement of Others”. So bear with me here.

    I have been involved in the legal community since I was 11 years old (my godfather is a judge). In the law judgeing our fellow man is what it is all about, so I have learned a few thing that I feel should be said and maybe hurt feelings can be avoided.

    First, in the courts the theory is that judgements are made based on facts and knowledge and personal preferences are to be left out of the judgement process (Note I said theory). A reasonable person takes the time to gather as much information as possible on ALL sides of an issue and decides what the best path for the future should be.

    That being said, second it has been my personal experience that when a judgement is made IRL on another person one of three things is happening. 1) your judgement of another is based on jealousy or other negative emotion for something the other has that you do not (ie. the great legs and sexy dress that catches the attention of the guy you’re trying to attract makes the other a tramp), 2) you are sterotyping that person into a catagory which you deem to be inferior, or 3) you are making assumtions about that person with incomplete information which may or may not be accurate.

    Third, and most important, each of us has an inherant need to find things/lifestyles that either make us happy or make us believe we are happy. Since happiness is such an elusive commodity I personally have learned that juding anothers lifestyle or way of thinking closes doors for me. Case in point, I was rased to believe that gays could not possibly be happy becasue their lifestyle was evil. However, I changed my belief when I realized that a gay co-worker was happier in his committed relationship than I was in my “properly santioned” marriage (I am now seperated). Why? not because he was gay but because he was honest enough with himself to find someone that made him happy.

    So to sum up and get off my soap box,by judgeing others for thier lifestyle or life choices we close the door in our own face to oppurtunities that may lead us to things or people who will allow us to be happy. I personally have a hard time condeming anothers happiness or peace with themselves.

    Ok Soap Box Closed. What do you say we lather up and have a bubble fight. 🙂

  437. PhoneGuy says:

    I’m sure this is going to come off badly but I can’t stop myself. 😉
    So there are girls on SA who don’t want money…and they don’t want a relationship…they want “magic”. They want a excitement and a connection, the secrets of which have been taught to you by the exotic priestesses of your secret society.

    Women sleep with guys for a variety of reasons…some of which I don’t understand or agree with. I only sleep with women from SA that I have a real connection to and excitement with…AND I give them an allowance. I’m sure you have mad game and this schtick is working for you so God bless.

    Maybe there are tons of doctors and lawyers on this site with no confidence or social skills. Anything is possible…

  438. euphoria says:

    @Dorky- omgz… this one time in sugarland…..I met this alien from outer space. We went to go eat dinner and he picked me up in a real spaceship. Then we ate as we orbited the earth. At the end of the date, he took two stars out of the sky and turned them into a fancy new pair of earrings for me. 🙂 it was the best date ever. Man, you blog sds need to step it up a notch. These amazing sds from outer space are way ahead of you all when it comes to this sugar thing.

  439. DianaSBinOC says:

    @ChicagoDaddy- Interesting post. So 1/3 are just out to sleep with the married man for free out of the desire to be competitive? Not sure about the percentage but you do have a point that these unmarried- single- non allowance women do exist:

    Quoted from marriage and relationship expert Dr Michelle Golland licensed clinical psychologist:

    “Some women sleep with married men because they most likely have been “mean girls” for a long time. These mean-girl man-stealers do not understand the bond of true sisterhood, and may have trouble with establishing or sustaining authentic female relationships because it is probably hard to find a nice girlfriend who would support their home-wrecking ways.”

    ” Such a woman may not have ever gotten enough attention from her father, and craves male attention at all costs. The fact that she can get a married man to stray from his wife may also feed her insecure ego, because she inherently feels in competition with other women. Which, in her twisted logic, means that getting him to stray places her as the winner and the wife as the loser.”

    “The mistress probably likes the thrill of the hunt and feels her self-esteem boosted at the thought that a man would risk so much to be with her. She may like the drama and illicit experience too. I predict, however, that the mistress also feels comfortable being the victim, because ultimately, at least most of the time, she gets lied to and cheated on herself in the end. She winds up crying alone because her romantic life has been a secret, or she simply doesn’t have any friends to cry to. It becomes a sad cycle of false hope fueled by desperation and desire, while being led on by a married man who himself obviously has a host of his own issues and demons he hasn’t faced.”

    “The high of being with a married man also extends the illusion of the “Romantic Love” experience for such a woman. She is pursued, desired passionately, and the possibility of an amazing future seems almost available. “Almost” is the key word, because the married man is lying to her in order to keep the emotional and sexual attention coming (no pun intended). But 90% of the time, the cheating man knows that even the illusion of “Romantic Love” is just that — an illusion. It is mostly hot sex and emotional attention with no strings.”

    “As the woman willing to be a mistress, you must have been hurt by a man and have real trust issues. By being the one who is cheated with, you have a false belief that you are in control of things, and that at least you are not being “cheated” on. You choose to believe that he doesn’t “love” his wife and he really wants to be with you, so it seems safer to you than being in an authentic, honest relationship with a man who is actually available. You unconsciously fear being truly vulnerable with a man, so you collude in the cheating to avoid really being vulnerable and trusting a man.”

    “You mistake him wanting your body sexually for love. It is not and will not ever be the same. He may love how you make him feel, and love that you allow him to not focus on the reality of his life, but remember you are not actually in his reality — you are a part of an illusion. This illusion of his will most likely fade due to age or interest, and he will either move onto another newer and hotter illusion, or he may man up and deal with the problems in his “real” relationship with his wife.”

    Any Sugar Babies that don’t want an allowance up to reading: “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants”? lol.

  440. DorkyGuy says:

    Jessie, I met a wonderful SB this week… Check this out… She had 4 breasts! Two were on her abdomen, two on her back, and none on her chest… because let’s face it… those two are poorly positioned. She had actually read about my work on the Snorkelingus (patent pending), and said that it has changed her life… she wants to give me an allowance to see her! The first place she wants me to take her is the Cave of the Winds. I wonder if that’s a real place?

  441. Jessie says:

    Still…SGent2 says it’s the ladies that tell stories…hahahaha. I loooove this blog. Makes for better reading than the book I just downloaded to my Kindle (Brainstorm – McMasters). Bloggers, without your wild imaginations my reading pleasure would be curtailed. LOL. I absolutely enjoy reading EVERYONE’s tale ;).

    • SD Guru says:


      Thanks for sharing more of your perspective, it’s fascinating to say the least. However, I think you completely missed my point about having an arrangement is a choice. That is, even for men who have mastered the art of seduction with women (with or without the transformation/training you described), some still choose to have an arrangement with their SB’s. You were in agreement that your situation is rather unique. By comparison, like most SD’s, I didn’t come from the swinger lifestyle, I’m not in an open marriage, and my wife is not a SB (she’s as accomplished as I am professionally).

      As a married family man in the corporate world, having multiple “girlfriends” for fun and for free carries a high level of risk as I explained in my blog. Having an arrangement in place for discretion and NSA can reduce that risk and therefore is preferrable to me. Quite frankly, not only was I surprised at the success you said you’ve had on sugar dating sites, I was also suprised that your MO hasn’t caused drama among your gf’s and complications such as being blackmailed. But then again, we came from different backgrounds and we’re targetting different type of women. You’re able to take full advantage of the unique situation you’re in and that’s great for you, but perhaps it’s not easily replicable by others.

      I agree there is a portion of women on SA for whom money is not the most important factor. But to say that 1/3 would be happy on an on-going basis with good company, good sex, and an occasional gift is perhaps a stretch. That does come down to the demographics as you said in an earlier post. But when it comes to attracting younger hotter SB’s that most SD’s are after, “free” most likely won’t cut it no matter how good your game is.

  442. SouthernGent2 says:

    @ChicagoDaddy – so what is your point in all this you are posting? Have you convinced 1/3 of the blog girls to come see you in Chicago (for free)?

  443. NC Gent says:

    So 1/3 of the women on a site expressly set up for sugar dating are not there for the money? I think in 5 years I have met one woman like that on the site, but maybe I need to move to Chicago.

  444. ChicagoDaddy says:

    @SD Guru
    “I’m still a bit surprised at your success on the sugar dating sites though.”

    I asked myself the question, “If a single woman had an outlook on life that paralleled that in the lifestyle, where would she look for a man?” These sites popped to mind.

    I invited one of the first women (mid 40’s, employed but not self sufficient) that I met in the SD community to a lifestyle club. My wife and I showed her the ropes. She dived in head first, and was like a kid in a candy store for the next few months before finding a boyfriend. She already HAD a sugardaddy (late 60s, overweight) when she contacted me. He supplemented her income, bought her a car, etc. They had not had sex in two years. She was going crazy.

    Consider the general domain called “Men” from a woman’s point of view. What does she want from them? She has a sex drive just as strong as a man (ok stronger). Toys are useful, but only men can supply what one of my girlfriends calls “chi” (male energy). Near the top of her list is what she can say to her girlfriends about the men she has sex with. Women are far, far more competitive than men, and they talk to each other. They are in coopetition – they cooperate and compete.

    The more she brings to the table – looks, experience, success – the fewer the men from which she can choose. She asks herself, “Where can I find attractive, successful men? I work so hard to look good. I work so hard in my career. I deserve a man worthy of me. Where are all the good men?”

    I humbly submit that the reason you are surprised at my success is that you have not been counseled and trained by women in the lifestyle. I have seen men who would otherwise be sugar daddies (doctors, lawyers, businessmen, etc.) transformed from “average joe’s” into, well, what women are looking for. They start going to the gym. They change the way they dress. They laugh more. They walk into a room and they bring an air of confidence. They no longer have anything to prove. On the street women look at them, and they smile, look back, nod, and walk on. The men get this way because the women coach them. I went through that transformation myself. Any of them would offer you a similar report if they found themselves on SA. (For that matter, I am here because I moved my business downtown and found myself spending a couple of nights a week in the city with nothing to do. Lord knows I didn’t need to get laid.)

    From my perspective, age is not a liability. Women are genetically programmed to be attracted to older men. That’s why some men display pattern male baldness in their 20’s, or go prematurely grey. Ancestral women selected men with those traits because they looked older, and in our genetic past age equalled success and resources. Still does. Consider male hollywood stars in their 50’s. What do they have in common? They are experienced, fit, confident, and women love them. Why wouldn’t a woman in her late 20’s to early 40’s be attracted to an older man? And wouldn’t they self select their way onto a sugar daddy site?

    From my perspective, being married is not a liability. Granted, if a woman is looking for a husband, she will pass me by. But many women are decidedly not looking for a husband, yet they have observed that most of the good men are married. I’m perfect – she doesn’t have to worry about the wife. As one girlfriend put it, “I get your best parts because I don’t have to live with you, your wife gets to live with your worst parts.”

    So, I return to the question, “Where can successful woman look for a good man?” Somewhere along the way she will discover these sites. She will pause, think it over, say “what the hell, I’m not getting anywhere on Match”, and put up a profile. In the profile she will describe what she is looking for in a man, along with “Amount negotiable.”

    This is turning into an essay, but I have one more point to make.

    Yes, the majority of women on SA – say 2/3rds – are here for the money. They say things to me like, “Duh, don’t you know what a sugar daddy is? You don’t belong here.” Or my favorite comment to date. “When a man asks me if I will f- him without the money, I ask him if he will give me money if a stop f- him.” I will not pass judgment on these women. I suspect that 2/3rds of the men are looking for them.

    But the remaining 1/3rd are not here for the money. They expect to go out in style, they want chemistry, and they will not turn up their nose at the occasional gift, “Oh, you don’t have to do that! … I love it!” I ask these women about their experiences on the sugar daddy sites. One looked at me sardonically and said, “You would not believe it. I went out for lunch with one guy. He was okay looking. In the middle of lunch he offered me $5,000 a month. I was speechless.” I tried probing for more, but she remained speechless. My guess is it was tempting, but it was also giving up control, selling something but what was the “something”, what was it going to cost her in commitments, what did it say about her, what would her girlfriends say, and underneath all the above, “what’s wrong with this guy.”

  445. Honey says:

    Luck and compromise also!

  446. euphoria says:

    Obviously, there are people that do do fairly well with the site. If there weren’t, then they wouldn’t stick around for so long. I know that I’ve been using the site for awhile, and i do OK with it. I think its something that you either get, or you don’t get. Its a pretty simple concept, and if you don’t get it… then you won’t do well with it.

  447. Honey says:

    Oh ye of little faith…lol!

  448. euphoria says:

    Southrengent2- if you read it on the internet, then it must be true. 🙂

    And this one time, in sugarland… my imaginary SD bought me an imaginary rolls Royce. Then we flew to Paris for lunch. 🙂 then he took me shopping and gave me 11 billion imaginarydollars. After that, he informed me that he was the king of the imaginary universe that I lived in. Then he told me thathe wanted me to be queen of that universes. Like omgz… I was sooo happy until I snapped back into reality.

    I just can’t understand why I can’t find a real SD like that. Like omg… non imaginary sds are so frigging cheap.

  449. SouthernGent2 says:

    @Caroline – I sometimes am in shock too. Some of the things these girls write on this blog. And they must be true. After all, I believe everything I read on the Internet.

  450. caroline says:

    im shock when i saw this site…its nice..

  451. Dutch Girl in London says:

    @AnnaMW I share your opinion that Sugar is a nice, little extra. I have my own income to pay my bills, sugar is a nice extra little treat.

    It does allow me to be far pickier (and I’m VERY picky) I tend to pick SD’s who have similar interests, intellect and long-term deliver better ‘benefits’.

    I date several people at the same time IRL (which I do declare from the word go) but I prefer the sugar bowl as there is less drama and at the moment, that suits me better.

    Now where are all the London SB’s?

  452. Honey says:

    Annamw- I feel ya!
    and what can I say, I’m a collector! And I love meeting new people,never met a stranger. people are always saying “why am I telling you this? I’ve never told anyone else..”
    You get what you give. I believe in myself and my looks,diet and exercise,beauty, brains and compassion.Don’t be a door mat but look for the positive side in people. treat them gently, listen.
    I try to act as a princess, the nice kind that says thank you, please, smiles, is nice to waiters, tips well. I try to bring people into the circle…

  453. Va Gentleman says:

    @ Madison

    ” — are they fat, bald and short? ” Hey Maddy , don’t knock fat, bald ,and short . Warren Buffett might qualify and he is slightly rich . BTW , I am neither fat,bald,short, or rich .

  454. DaddyGT says:


    You touch on an interesting topic, and that is the evolution of the situation or the relationship. Prince Charming also alludes to that in one of his responses above.

    A SB who plays the longer game stands to do much better, than one just in for a “how much can I get out of this in XYZ time” quickie. At least with this SD. While I might balk at the thought of signing over $10k per month to a total stranger relative stranger, I would have no qualms about several multiples of that to someone (excuse the cliche) I care about.

    But then again, any IOU or promise of future grandness and generosity is worth, well, the paper it is written on.

    Ultimately, there is no one size fits all. All we can hope (like any other relationship), is to end up with one or several significant others that provide what we want right now, and (hopefully) that evolve in a direction and at a pace that keeps us happy.

    • SD Guru says:

      I think my situation is unusual because I arrived from the lifestyle (aka swinger) community.

      Ok, that explains a lot about your situation as well as the type of women you can attract. As with any lifestyle there are pros and cons with the swingers community and it’s not for everyone. I’m still a bit surprised at your success on the sugar dating sites though.

      Suppose you were presented with a sugar baby price list, with each attribute given a price. It might look like this:

      That’s an interesting list and it’s an illustration of the “hot guy discount” that’s been discussed on the blog. However, most SD’s choose to sugar date hotter and younger women who they normally wouldn’t have access to without the sugar. So even if they trade off their good qualities for a price, it still would not reach a net of zero. And if their goal is a net of zero then they’d be pursuing a different type of women. I wrote about “Why Wealthy Men Choose to be SD’s” and explained the role of arrangement in a sugar relationship. Even if the net is zero according to your sugar price list, this is why some men still choose to have an arrangement.

      I don’t judge married SDs or the SBs who date them, but for me the potential drama isn’t worth the risk.

      There are many reasons why some SB’s won’t consider married SD’s as I’ve explained in “Married vs Single SD’s” in my blog. However, if avoiding potential drama is your main reason, then you should take into account the potential drama with single SD’s as well. One of the most common complaints I’ve heard from SB’s about single SD’s is that they can become too clingy and possessive and want to turn the sugar relationship into full time IRL relationship when the SB has no desire for it.

  455. AnnaMW says:

    @ Honey – French Foreign Legion??? Plural Rocket Scientists? mmmmeeeow. 🙂

    Glad you are safe and avoided the bad weather in TX!

  456. AnnaMW says:

    @ DaddyGT – I agree that name calling is never nice. There was a time when 2k would have been life changing…. My circumstances have changed, but that hardly means that men offering that amount are cheap, they just aren’t for me.

    I understand what your saying about stats giving people unrealistic expectations, but if a girl isn’t able impress a guy who willing to part with the allowance they are looking for, they will readjust their expectations.

    We briefly touched on women who are looking for NSA with married guys with no sugar involved. You are right that most affairs include no sugar element, but I used my girlfriends as an example for a reason… They are intelligent, hardbodied, beautiful girls in their 20’s who are both employed and kidless. They are the kind of girls that guys join SA hoping to meet. They can afford to pick and choose and a middle aged married guy isn’t usually at the top of their list… The best SDs are the ones who know what strikes are against them but understand how to make up for them when a fairytale woman comes along.

    Oddly, I don’t date married SD’s. That isn’t to say that I wouldnt, but it would reeeeally have to be worth my while and maybe not even then. There is nothing less sexy/romantic/NSA than a hysterical wife throwing a chair through your window or kids showing up crying asking their dad why he cheated on their mom (this actually happened to an SB I know)… I don’t judge married SDs or the SBs who date them, but for me the potential drama isn’t worth the risk.

    @VA Gentlemen – IRL affairs are really difficult to find and as you mentioned, this is why SA exists. I was referring to platonic female friends, which seem easier for married men to find, making it even more hard to believe that there are psychologically healthy, normal guys on SA looking to pay a girl thousands per month to be his platonic friend…..

    I know an escort whose steady fling become a full time SD and he still supports her despite being too old for sex. They have been involved for many years and when they met, the last thing he was looking for was a platonic friend. The situation has evolved into something else since, but this is a rare case.

  457. Ellae says:

    Hello, I was wondering if anyone could check out my profile? Should my description of myself be shorter? Is there anything about me or any potSDs I should include but haven’t?
    Here’s my profile ID: 857969

    Any help is appreciated. 🙂

  458. Luiza says:

    It is more than expected to have women fighting in these circumstances where there are 200 SBs for 1 SD. It’s ingrained in the female mind. My girl dog will always be hissy with another girl dog and tend to be nicer to the guy dogs. Just a thought.

  459. Beach_Girl says:

    @Honey hahahha ok… well I hope everybody else is safe lol… If I ever get to TX, so need to meet you !! HAHAHAH

  460. Honey says:

    Thanks beach girl, all that tornado stuffs is dallas, where my ex laws live…no comment…

    euphoria, yeah those Italians are great about maintenance! Let’s hear it for the Italians, and the french, danish English, and my hometown boys. ‘Merica!

  461. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!
    Haven’t been around much! Hope everyone is good

    Honey~ you crack me up girlie! lol and I hope that the tornadoes didn’t affect you and your loved ones!

    All TX people, hope you were all safe today!

  462. euphoria says:

    Honey Alot of Italian engineer’s come to my home town. I would have to agree with you. They win the award for being hot! Oooh, and they really don’t mind spoiling a pretty girl either.

  463. Honey says:

    All of the above, french foreign Legion engineer(my Gawd ,what a body!!! That was the one that got away ( I kinda threw him away…)but anyway, train engineer, oil and gas(of course) Scottish, Danish, Italian, all brilliant. Rocket scientists, plural, I had sex dreams about Spock and Alec Trebec! I’m a sapiosexual!

  464. euphoria says:

    Madison-Well, what can I say? At least I’m honest.

  465. Madison says:

    I guess was just my turn to “make my own entitled chick post for the day”….

  466. euphoria says:

    @Madison- oh, you asked me a question? I diddnt realize that you asked one. It seemed more like a demand in the forum of an insult.

  467. Madison says:

    Euphoria, you answered my question. Thx…

  468. Madison says:

    Honey, are your Engineers handsome? Or are they fat, bald and short? Or all of the above?

  469. euphoria says:

    @madison- I don’t discuss my finances online. But I can tell you this…. my sds/so’s/bf’s don’t tell me no when I ask for things.

  470. Honey says:

    Believe they are out there…

  471. Honey says:

    I’ve from Houston, date engineers..all over the place…

  472. Honey says:

    Ladies,ladies..feel the love…

  473. Madison says:

    @Euphoria…. please tell me you’re getting 5K a month from your daddies… otherwise.. shut your pie hole.

  474. Madison says:

    Problem finding a sugar SD? I never had. I always had problems finding the SD this “data analysis” is talking about. I never met any SD in Conn. or NY who is willing to pay 4 or 5K a month…..

  475. euphoria says:

    ahahahaha… omgz dorky….. you tottaly rock. Thanks for the laugh.

  476. TR says:

    @ euphoria yes its gotta be me… Thanks for your insight…

  477. DorkySB says:

    @euphoria~ omg… SDs in Antarctica are so cheap! Don’t they know it costs a fortune to look hot when you have to wear 13 layers of La Prada to keep from getting frostbite?

    Worse, they benchmark their allowance to the minimum wage… which is calculated in penguin droppings!

    I flew down here for what was supposed to be a 2-day meet and greet, and he neglected to tell me that that was the last plane of the season :-/ Antarctica SDs totally suck.

    Let me tell you one thing I learned on the second day… You definitely do *not* want to go without panties here and sit on a metal bench.

  478. Christiana says:

    TR be strong if guys are rejecting you due to the Colour of your skin then they are not the type of guy you would want to know anyway so wait until the right guy comes along and he will. Take care

  479. euphoria says:

    Omfgz… why do frigging people keep knocking sds in Atlanta or any other part of the u.s. I have always been able to find a good SD from anywhere that i have lived in. I’m sooo sick of listening to sb’s complain about their locations. Meybe if you all are having issues finding a good SD, its you!

  480. TR says:

    @GTT_Envy My ideal SD would be someone that i had a connection with, especially with the fact of not having a sexual partner in sometime… As a matter of fact I said I needed a connection to him in one of my text. But with the luck ive been having I said screw it. My feeling is he didn’t have good intentions to begin with.
    To hear how you interact with your SB gives a little hope, and im going to go with my original thoughts on how I want the relationship to be… Thanks

    @PLShay I am African American my self, (educated, in shape, and very pretty according to others) and I thought I was pretty hot until i came on this site. I wanna blame the lack of response on being located ATL, a city that is not known for good SD’s but after reading SD’s profiles, they do exclude African American women on this website, and the SM website. Its sad for us,but at the same time i respect people preference. Its just gonna take a little more work. And don’t be like me. I almost was ready to compromise the type of relationship I wanted to get things going, but thank goodness I didn’t… GOOD LUCK!!!

  481. euphoria says:

    Grrr frigging tablet. That post just got chopped up.

  482. euphoria says:

    All that I know is that if I ask a SD/bf/so for somtreated like a princess.ething, I get it with no questions asked. I love being treated like a princess. My life is awesome.sorry,I just had to make my own entitled chick post for the day.

  483. DaddyGT says:

    All that taken together I think is rather unique, and I don’t think he’s in the poly circle or otherwise he would have mentioned it.
    I agree. Sort of. That said, poly is really a state of mind. And as Chicago Daddy puts it, radical honesty is par for the course. Discovering the poly outlook still ranks as one of the best things to ever happen to me.

    @Chicago Daddy
    Since the weekend, I have started, and deleted a post saying what you just said. Could not quite put it as nicely as you just did. I do think that there is a some tax a pot SD pays, for a bunch of things, many of which you list. Chief are probably age and marital status (and the need to be discreet).

    Numerous SBs here too, have alluded to what I have seen referred to as the “cute guy discount”. I suppose you tick enough of those boxes off, and the expected allowance does trend to $0.

    Not really into swinging any more, but you are my new hero [sorry Guru :-)] . When I tie the knot, may it be in a setup similar to what you have right there.

  484. Chicago Daddy says:

    @SD Guru

    I see that your’e spreading your wealth among several “girlfriends” (plus several potentials), you have an open marriage and your wife is also a SB (what kind of allowance does she get?), and you consider yourself as high end in your spending. All that taken together, I think it’s fair to say that your situation is rather unique and there are probably not that many (any?) like you out there. Do you know of anyone else who is in a similar situation as you?

    My wife expects the men she meets to be honest, funny, well educated, high class, and fit. Pickings are slim. She would be find it humorous if offered an allowance, but she expects to be romanced in high style and for him to pick up the check.

    I think my situation is unusual because I arrived from the lifestyle (aka swinger) community. I did not bring the expectations or situation most men will bring to SA. There are something like 5 million swingers in the US, and like any community it can be segmented into groups. Our group is driven in part by wealth. Our friends are executives, scientists, educators, entrepreneurs, etc. in their 40’s and 50’s. The lifestyle is driven by the women, not the men. (More accurately, the men lower the barriers, and after that they are hard pressed to keep up.)

    When I arrived here, it was with the expectation that there would be a few women here who shared the outlook of women in the lifestyle. I put up a profile, explained what I was about, and waited for women to contact me. At lunch or cocktails I would tell them that I am, well, a slut, which generally cracked them up. I tell them my wife knows everything, my girlfriends know about each other, and a few stories from the lifestyle that are always good for a laugh. She quickly understands that I do not need to spend money to get laid, that I am a lot of fun, that I must be good in bed, and (key point) I practice radical honesty – hence no games, no bs, no deception. No possessiveness. No expectation of exclusivity. She can relax and be herself.

    As a generalization, men underestimate how sick and tired women are of the miserable excuses, lame stories, and hypocritical demands that men in general and sugar daddies in particular make upon them. I can see why a woman would think, “If I have to put up with this crap, the *!#7^! better make it worth my while.”

    So – in my case, a filtering process applies. Women have some clue about what I am about from my profile. If they are keenly interested in an allowance, they blow by my profile. If not, they contact me. At our first meeting I tell them what I am about. Some want to sample the goods. Things evolve from there.

    I do not want to be disrespectful of the men or women on this site. After all, I am having a great time, and my dance card is full. But since this thread is of the “food for thought” variety, let me offer this for the men to think about.

    Suppose you were presented with a sugar baby price list, with each attribute given a price. It might look like this:

    1. $500/month – she is 30 years younger than I am
    2. $500/month – discretion, I cannot be seen in public
    3. $500/month – I expect her to be exclusive to me, but not vice versa
    4. $500/month – I am a bad conversationalist, in part because of the secrets I must keep from her
    5. $500/month – I am a lousy lover
    6. $500/month – I have not seen the inside of gym since the Reagan administration
    7. $500/month – I am 40 pounds overweight
    8. $500/month – I am a grandfather and look like it
    9. $500/month – I am a cheating husband
    10. $500/month – I believe I can buy anything

    My point is this. You are trading off your bad qualities for a price. Why not do the same for your good qualities?

    1. $-500/month – I can offer her my wisdom and experience (not ego), and it will make a genuine difference
    2. $-500/month – I can take her places and do things beyond her means, memories that will last her lifetime
    3. $-500/month – I am a great conversationalist, in part because I trust her
    4. $-500/month – I am great in bed
    5. $-500/month – I am physically fit
    6. $-500/month – I am trim
    7. $-500/month – I am well preserved and work at looking that way
    8. $-500/month – I can make her laugh
    9. $-500/month – I can make her think
    10. $-500/month – Her girlfriends will ask, how can I get a man like him?

    If the net is $0, you will not offer an allowance, and she will not expect one.

  485. Va Gentleman says:


    ” I would question the psychological health of a man searching SA for this type of friend when it is such an easy thing to find IRL. ”

    IRL extramarital love is not so easy to find or there would be no need for sites like SA . Here on SA we can dispassionately make any arrangement we would like without the risk of prospecting in your home territory . Affairs happen but usually by happenstance ,not by design.

    I agree with you about married men who risk discovery to have a platonic affair . Nuts ! But each to his own . Ask any wife who’s husband is discovered even looking at porn much less trading texts or emails with a woman how she interprets the seriousness of that behavior . They call it an emotional affair and are not the least bit understanding .

  486. DaddyGT says:


    I have some girlfriends who like to sleep around, but I don’t think any of them sleep with married guys.
    Fair play to your friends, but I think that the statistics on married guys and affairs would suggest otherwise. Personal anecdotal evidence says that there are a lot more married guys in affairs with no sugar than there are in affairs with sugar. In affairs with single women too.

    Getting back to the question of allowance figures. I don’t for a second doubt that XYZ type relationship exists between consenting adults on the planet. I am sure that somewhere out there, there is a SB who gets a $50k per month allowance. I am sure also, that somewhere out there is a male SB getting $XXk per month allowance from his Sugar Mommy.

    The problems sort of begin when such figures are bandied about as ‘normal’. Setting such expectations, I think will attract the wrong sort of SBs to the sugar bowl in droves. This is where you start running into problems. If everyone is telling you that a SB must get a minimum of $Xk per month, sure, you’ll take offence when a pot SD offers you what you think is a lowball offer. This is where the namecalling on both sides begins.

    Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think there is a universally correct allowance amount for SBs. I personally have my own limits, and I have my reasons for this amount. And in the same way that I realise that not every woman out there is right for me, I realise that not every SB will be right for me, both in what I can offer them, and indeed in what they can offer me.

    The hope is that everyone finds what they are looking for in the bowl.

    But that does depend both on the initial expectations, and on both parties being honest in what they can reliably bring to the table.

  487. AnnaMW says:

    @ Honey – I like your approach. Mad respect. 🙂

    So, to contribute to the platonic daddy conversation, I am sure that they exist. I have met plenty of married men IRL who enjoy the company of a pretty girl have platonic “dates” without it transitioning to anything physical. They want the company of a girl but not consequences of cheating. No sex or money involved… I see the appeal.

    That having been said, I would question the psychological health of a man searching SA for this type of friend when it is such an easy thing to find IRL.

  488. AnnaMW says:

    @ DaddyGT – Thanks for the compliments! You asked what I thought about non Sugar Bowl women who are just looking for NSA fun….. Well, there are plenty of them, but they are typically looking for intense physical attraction, status or both. I have some girlfriends who like to sleep around, but I don’t think any of them sleep with married guys.

    All reasonable women think to themselves “whats in it for me”, whether relating to a normal relationship prospect or NSA fling… A guy needs to have something to offer whether it be good looks, an interesting experience, emotional connection or money. Thats my two cents…. 🙂

    @ NCGent – There is admittedly a fine line between arrangements and prostitution, but there is still a line. For me, a transactional experience (pay per meet), and doing that with more than one SD is what crosses it. I have no moral or ethical qualm with escort behavior and short term arrangements, but a situation where we spend enough time together and are close enough friends that while there may be intimate times, there is no sense of urgency to get his moneys worth. I’m not saying that there isn’t an amount that could sway me, but it seems like it would feel pretty ugly… I’m glad to know we share the perspective on the importance of mutual attraction!

  489. Honey says:

    Hello All,
    Here’s Honey’s Two Bits, free advice, and worth every cent you paid for it!
    I feel that I am actually selling my intellect. every body gets youth. It’s “fresh” can be fun. “Teenage dream tonight” Beauty and brains together with social acumen, to me make the best sugar babies.
    It’s not just about the looks,but they count also. I am also not a pillow princess1
    We are doing each other a mutual favor. I am grateful to him for that and try to show it.
    I’m a man killer. I kill my man with kindness, flowers, cards ,clothes when I ‘m out shopping with friend.

  490. PhillySB says:

    Hi Luiza
    I have, as I’ve mentioned earlier in the blog. Twice actually. I actually spoke to one on the phone for about a week.. he seemed genuine and sounded like he knew what he wanted. He was out of state however so it didn’t work for me. It’s hard to blv there are men who are willing to invest in your future and well being without requiring intimacy, bit they’re out there. If youre not interested give his info to Bonita , shell gladly be his new daughter I’m sure 😛

  491. Luiza says:

    Hi guys,

    I received a message from a SD who claims he only wants to support his SB and give her luxury, without any sexual intimacy, like the daughter he never had, for at least 2 years. He said he has had 6 other girls like that in the past. He said he wants to be like a mentor and help his SB pursue her dreams. Could this possibly be a scam?

    Has anyone heard of something in those lines before?

  492. Olia says:

    [img]http://www.modelmayhem.com/portfolio/pic/27364313#27364307[/img] Im so in the wrong city… hah.

  493. DaddyGT says:

    @ Guru – I agree that ChicagoDaddy is an anomaly. Having 3 steady girls in the 20′s and early 30′s who are grad school educated and willing to meet weekly with no Sugar exchanged is pretty impressive.

    It is not that uncommon, in the right circles. And as a man, it is not that uncommon once you are in that zone where you can ‘sell’ that story/lifestyle.

    There are a lot more people in relationships like that, than one might think.

    Who do you think all those women who are not in the sugar bowl, but want ‘NSA’ fun and frolics are dating?

    • SD Guru says:

      It is not that uncommon, in the right circles.

      Perhaps it’s not that uncommon in the poly circle, which you’re quite familiar with. However, my comment about ChicagoDaddy’s situation being unique is not just about how many younger gf’s he has. Considering he is an older married man, he’s in an open marriage with his wife also being a SB, all of his gf’s know about each other, etc. All that taken together I think is rather unique, and I don’t think he’s in the poly circle or otherwise he would have mentioned it.

      I agree that Sugar provides extra incentive to date people we might not normally be interested in, but I wouldn’t share a bed with someone I’m not attracted to… It makes me sad to think that some SBs do force themselves to sleep with old, bloated, married toads who they can’t wait to get away from.

      Exactly! Regardless of what the arrangement is, you should enjoy being with the person you’re in an arrangement with. Perhaps some of the previous posts didn’t intend to come across as the way you described, but that’s the underlying attitude that came out.

      Perhaps she can make 5k+ in a weekend, but she is at the top of the food chain, “upper echelon” as we discussed before….

      Thanks for sharing the info about the high end escort. Perhaps the statement “average escort would be paid close to $2500-$7,000 for a one night stay” was extrapolated based on an hourly rate over an entire night, which is not realistic.

  494. NC Gent says:

    AnnaMW wrote: It makes me sad to think that some SBs do force themselves to sleep with old, bloated, married toads who they can’t wait to get away from. That seems like it would be a bad experience for SD as well. A guy knows when he’s sleeping with a girl who doesn’t want to sleep with him. That has to be hurtful on some level.

    Well said! If you are intimate with a guy that you aren’t attracted to because he is giving you money, then you are a prostitute. By the same token, if you are giving a woman money to sleep with you and you know she isn’t attracted to you, then you are a “John.” If I ever suspected that my SB was intimate with me just for the money, I would next her ASAP.

  495. DaddyGT says:


    I have to take my hat off to you.
    but when a guy writes a nice, personal email that includes an offer I would never accept, I thank him for his interest and for contacting me but politely decline and wish him luck. I hardly consider a guy offering 1500 cheap, but he’s not the right one for me.

    Now, if only everyone here was less judgemental about the whole allowance amount thing, and indeed whether this allowance is paid per month/week/meet, the sugar bowl would be a happier place.

    If the amount offered is not not in your expected range, then the person just is not the one for you. No need to label them, and no need to label them in a derogatory manner.

  496. AnnaMW says:

    @ Guru – I agree that ChicagoDaddy is an anomaly. Having 3 steady girls in the 20’s and early 30’s who are grad school educated and willing to meet weekly with no Sugar exchanged is pretty impressive. I’ve made quite a few friends here, including a young, rich, handsome, unmarried SD who also lives in the Windy City and hasn’t been nearly as fortunate as our buddy.

    By the way, your escort comment was spot on. Escorts do NOT usually make that much. I know a very beautiful, high end, Chicago based escort who charges $600/hr with a 2hr min. She is very good at what she does, and this amount is double what most escorts charge. Perhaps she can make 5k+ in a weekend, but she is at the top of the food chain, “upper echelon” as we discussed before…. Most escorts see their clients an hour at a time at $300 a pop. They would need to see a LOT of men and fork a large cut over to a pimp (usually a loser boyfriend), or agency.

  497. AnnaMW says:

    @ Diana – I think I <3 you…

    @ VA – Thanks for the nice compliments! I feel very lucky and fortunate. When I was first getting started business world and the sugar world, my standards were very different… The more my income rose, the more intriguing my life became, making it easier to form substantial connections with successful people. I've had a few Sugar relationships and a few RL, but I am totally grateful for all of it and for the fact that this lifestyle is a choice as opposed to a necessity. I'm also glad to have been inspired to want so much by the people around me (including former SDs)…

    I agree that bitchy, entitled attitudes are a complete turnoff… What guy wants a spoiled princess sugar-pro with little to offer than a hot body when he can find a sweet college girl to hang on his every word? Some guys value an experienced SB, but rudeness or ungrateful behavior is always a no-no.

    My expectations are on the higher side of whats normal and am unable to compromise for less, but I am always thinking of whats fair, equitable and right since I only have one arrangement at a time and think long term. I try to be the best partner I can and expect the same of my SD.

    Look, I dislike the Cheap Charlies and hooker hunters as much as everyone else, but when a guy writes a nice, personal email that includes an offer I would never accept, I thank him for his interest and for contacting me but politely decline and wish him luck. I hardly consider a guy offering 1500 cheap, but he's not the right one for me.

    Regarding the old/fat/married discussion – I agree that Sugar provides extra incentive to date people we might not normally be interested in, but I wouldn't share a bed with someone I'm not attracted to… It makes me sad to think that some SBs do force themselves to sleep with old, bloated, married toads who they can't wait to get away from. That seems like it would be a bad experience for SD as well. A guy knows when he's sleeping with a girl who doesn't want to sleep with him. That has to be hurtful on some level.

  498. Luiza says:

    @SD Guru

    I personally think women tend to underestimate their attractiveness more than man, because there are more pressures on women in the aesthetics field. In the sugar world women just have to play the role of the confident female, it doesn’t mean they actually think that they are all of that. Everybody knows confidence plays a big role in getting a mate. I hear and read comments criticizing the appearance of women of all kinds almost daily. It’s a lot of pressure on us females…

  499. ContentSB says:

    @Jessie — I love it! I don’t think that makes you entitled, just smart 🙂 I’m happy you’ve found a generous SD who adores you! 🙂 Enjoy…which I’m sure you are!

    @Tina — Thanks!

    @Dorky — Still super stoked for you about your great date! I hear your potential travel SB is pretty great too and that she’s still excited about that 😉

  500. PLShay says:

    Newbie to the site…I’ve been reading the topic and comments and I have to say, I’m starting to become a little disheartened….I live in one of the supposed top cities (LV) and I haven’t had much luck in meeting someone that even knows how to DATE, much less be interested in a SD/SB “relationship.” Reading the profiles, I’m starting to notice that many SDs specifically exclude black women…. It almost hurts my feelings, but at the same time I have to respect peoples “preferences” *shrug*…. I say that to say, any suggestions to someone new to the scene that hasn’t even greater odds stacked against her? ….SDs, are there certain things that are absolute NO GOs for those of ethnic backgrounds you already don’t feel 100% comfortable with?….

  501. DestinieStarr says:

    Why do I get the feeling that the amount of money these supposed SDs spend are inaccurate??! It’s obvious that the poll was based on personal opinions. From browsing the site/ SDs on here, I think it is safe to say that a good percent of them are flakes who lie about their income to attract more SBs. The ones who claim to be “real” end up being uppity, rude, and with unrealistic expectations. So the question is, are there real SDs left in SA? ….

    • SD Guru says:

      Looks like it’s been another interesting day on the blog! The discussion about allowance and entitlement reminds me of similar episodes in the past where I reprised my “Sugar Reality” post.

      “I hope everyone understands that there are different “realities” in the sugar world based on each person’s values and experiences. One person’s reality may be another person’s fantasy, and vice versa. It’s only natural to view other people’s reality with disdain and skepticism. But neither should assume the other’s reality doesn’t exist just because it’s different from their own.”

      In addition to that, an arrangement could be whatever the two people involved can agree on, and sugar could be anything that is considered valuable by the recipient. So no matter what your sugar reality is, please be respectful of other people’s sugar reality.



      Does anyone really want to sleep with an old fat married man for free? No

      That’s understandable. But how about a younger athletic married man?? :mrgreen:

      When of course your average escort would be paid close to $2500-$7,000 for a one night stay.

      Do you really think an “average” escort gets that kind of money? If so then we’re all the in the wrong business! LOL… If there are any escorts who read the blog please feel free to chime in!

      Generally men overrate how attractive they are and women underrate how attractive they are. Not sure why men are so delusional on such a large scale but there has been statistical data to corroborate this bizarre phenomenon.

      I’d disagree with you a bit and say that generally in the sugar world women tend to overrate how attractive they are and men tend to overrate how wealthy they are. I’d be interested in seeing the stats that support your statement.


      I see that your’e spreading your wealth among several “girlfriends” (plus several potentials), you have an open marriage and your wife is also a SB (what kind of allowance does she get?), and you consider yourself as high end in your spending. All that taken together, I think it’s fair to say that your situation is rather unique and there are probably not that many (any?) like you out there. Do you know of anyone else who is in a similar situation as you?

  502. GTT_Envy says:

    @phone guy!!

    That sounds like a good deal for you………maybe I need to move to Texas….lol. I’m in the $1500+ range for a Friday night-Sunday morning adventure with at least another $500 spent in activities.

  503. frank says:

    I’m not sure why there is this animosity to the SD’s and SB’s who are on a less than 5k budget. From calling us cheap SD’s to assuming that anyone who could only make 20K annually in today’s job market must be uneducated and uncultured. Each person has their needs, goals, and expectations. This site allows you to express these without the trappings that society normally imposes on a relationship. Just because a SD can only afford (or choose to afford) a lower amount, or a SB chooses to accept a lower amount has more to do with their individual situation, and not whether they are cheap or uneducated.

  504. PhoneGuy says:

    Haha, I’m sure most guys have many fantasies…and this is only one. It is the home of the thong though! 😉

    I would think no face picture is fine, especially if you are willing to email one. You might want to add a body pic so they can see your figure. With regard to sexual details, you need to be comfortable. I’m not sure if he is just trying to get an idea of what it would be like to be in a relationship with you or if he is being slimy. I would probably want to know a little more about my SB sexually if I had to pay and fly thousands of miles to her before I did so than the SB in the same town as me. You have to be tactful and gentlemanly though. Maybe this is a case where you need to grow the relationship over email and phone before you decide to visit one another. Good luck.

  505. Jessie says:

    @PhoneGuy – If you know you’re not one of the SDs that screams entitled EVERY time a SB says she’s looking for an allowance rather than P4P, or if she dares utter an amount that the SD thinks is wayyyy beyond what he’s prepared to offer, then you KNOW my comment wasn’t directed at you ;).

    The “Have it your way” slogan so fits SA, that you are absolutely right…”There’s no reason to call one side or the other fake or denigrating them because they do something different than you.”

  506. GTT_Envy says:

    @TR yeah imo that’s total bullcrap!! I’m barely considered a younger SD at 36, but I wouldn’t go for that at all. I don’t even get that attitude I guess it proves everyone is different for me if there isn’t a emotional connection I can’t just “shag” someone I can’t……..lol. So, just meet and hook up would never work for me!!

    I’ve had 3 SB’s it’s always txt, talk, etc for 1-2 weeks to get a feel. Meet dinner, drinks, etc maybe a kiss, a 2nd meeting with more of the same and we play it by ear, normally by the 3rd meeting it’s on as you would say. Ironically I’ve only met 3 girls in person after much txt, talk, and picture sharing and all 3 became my SB. So, don’t hate on the guys who want to be txt, talk, email buddies for a week or two!!

    But but but by this point I’ve already provided $$$, gifts, dinners, fun, etc I do require more in the ways of communication we txt multiple times daily!! Well……we did….lol back on the hunt 🙂

    Good luck in your search!!

  507. TR says:

    So, I finally met someone, and we text a couple of times but he never asked me out, but he had been throwing out hints that he wants to have sex. Finally i said said something about us not meeting up or going out on a date. he says, I just wanna fuck you, not date you. I felt kind of scanky, but i said ok cool, but you haven’t said anything about a arrangement. He hits me with a amount per meeting and we would meet 4-8 times a month. Im just not ok with that, mostly because we may not meet up enough times to meet my minimum that I set up for myself. Oh well, i hope someone else comes along… 🙁

  508. Tina says:

    @Luiza: if you’re not comfortable, you need to tell him that. One of the benefits of sugar is that you can be up front about what you’re looking for. I personally feel that the sex talk (other than just playing around) is too early in the first few communications. If he can’t accept that you’re uncomfortable, I will quote the wisdom of Southern Gent2: “Next him”.

  509. Luiza says:

    Hi guys,


    This is very very true and in fact I worry about that. I am speaking to 1 guy but I’ve added many of them to my favs and haven’t had any reciprocate yet. This guy I’m talking to is insisting a lot on the sexual details and I thought it was a little bit hurried, is that normal?


    This is my profile 953594. I don’t provide a face photo, is that too much of a turn off? I’ve sent pictures to the emails of the few guys I’ve talked to. I’m just concerned about privacy.

    Other than that, I started today so I’m not *yet* desperate lol but I really am so excited to start the fun!

  510. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: geee, do you like Brazilian women? I couldn’t tell 😉 Guess that leaves me out 🙁

  511. PhoneGuy says:

    >I have no clue why on a site like SA individuals can’t allow everyone to make their own
    > arrangements and shut it when the arrangement is not what they are willing to engage in.
    That’s funny, that’s what I thought I was saying. 😉
    Do what works for you. There’s no reason to call one side or the other fake or denigrating them because they do something different than you.

    I would loooooooove to have a Brazilian SB. Unfortunately I think the cost of travel would eat up too much of my budget. So it’s going to be a smaller pool of guys but they are definitely out there.

  512. Tina says:

    @Luiza: it depends on the SD. Take a look at the blog topics up top – I do believe there is one regarding SBs being safe. I personally wouldn’t travel to an unknown country on someone else’s dime unless I was able to have my own way home, and even then I would have to think hard about it. I would have to say that I would suspect the SD would be a common traveler to your country, usually on business, and thus would meet you there.

    The specifics of the arrangement and meeting will depend on the situation…….

  513. Luiza says:


    In our case, how does meeting should happen. Does SD goes to SB’s country, or does SB go meet SD in his natural habitat, rs? Will a SD be willing to pay an international ticket and bear all the hassle of an international flight… you know. I’m a little bit confused about that.

    I appreciate your comment.

  514. Christiana says:

    Well Luiza I live in Australia andI have received offers from literally all over the world so depending on what’s written in your profile you shouldn’t have any problem.

    All the best

  515. Luiza says:

    Hello Sugary people! 😉

    Can someone give me advice on this situation?

    I am a Brazilian sugar babe. Despite matching the requirements and willing to do it, there are only very few brazilian SDs, and I would be fascinated by meeting someone overseas.

    I am interested to know if SD’s of other nationalities are willing to pay for international travelling or is that not a usual thing?

    Is being foreign an attractive feature?

  516. Tina says:

    @Content: congrats on finding someone wonderful! 🙂

    @Dorky: congrats on a good first date!

    @all: congrats on your opinions!

    There, did I get everyone? Oh, wait, @Nawty: congrats on FINALLY getting the ENTIRE blog to your dungeon! WHOOHOOOOOO!

    Phew! Now, back to work! 🙂

  517. Jessie says:

    @Content – Sweet!! You deserve a great guy. I’m really happy for you ;).

    You and I are almost in the same boat, except for the RL guy…still shying away from that…lol. And if I tell you about my SD it’s gonna sound soooo entitled I’m sure my post would be removed immediately ;). All I’ll say is that we’re having tons of fun…next date is at the shooting range. Can you believe he’s brave enough to let me hold a gun? Then again he hasn’t really been reading the blogs, so perhaps don’t realize how dangerous entitled SBs are…lol

  518. DorkyGuy says:

    lol, nuts… Listening to you guys talk, I am starting to wonder if I have any business being an SD.

    I had a terrific first date with a girl last night. I think it has potential. Here (north texas), $2500/month for 2x/week seems like a really good offer. She only wants once a week, so it seems like $1250/month would be a fair amount.

    But there I am in the $300/meet range that you gals are scoffing at.

    Clearly you guys are out of my league 😛 I guess I’ll have to make do with the gals who aren’t.

  519. ContentSB says:

    @Jessie — Hey! I’ve been doing well 🙂 Juggling work and school while trying to have a social life too lol. I’m taking a little break from sugar (but of course keeping my options open 😉 because I’ve been seeing a really great guy. It’s been a nice change of pace! But, I miss all of you on the blog and everyone’s crazy sugary adventures 🙂 How have you been? Anything new and exciting going on in your world?

  520. Christiana says:

    anyone? mmm

  521. megan lee says:

    hi anyone can be my sugar dady

  522. Jessie says:

    @Diana – Couldn’t have said it any better had I tried 😉

    @Patricia – Keep on posting…no reason to change your standards for ANYONE…and in any case you’re not trying to “date” any of the SDs on the blog, so what do you care if some of them think you’re entitled. If rejecting an offer of $1200 per month or $300 per meet makes you entitled, girl I’m wayyyy entitled. I’ve never even been offered such a “paltry” sum. BTW, if you keep reading the blog you’ll see that the SBs who are constantly on complaining about not finding a SD are the ones who are willing to accept $1000 or less per month. Seems like they should start being entitled, and they’ll stop meeting “cheap skates.”

    I have no clue why on a site like SA individuals can’t allow everyone to make their own arrangements and shut it when the arrangement is not what they are willing to engage in. Cool, if you want to a SB that just loves being with you because you’re sweet, and just being in your company is enough to make her day. For those SB who wants what the site advertise, just walk on by.

    @Content – Missed seeing you around. How have you been?

  523. Grasshopper says:

    @Diana – Brava!

  524. DorkyGuy says:

    There has been a lot of talk about what compromises a real SD vs a fake SD, as well as who is entitled, etc.

    I just want to submit for everyone’s consideration that all of you are wrong. This is the ideal way to reach an arrangement:


  525. ContentSB says:

    Hi all! Been awhile since I’ve popped in, but just wanted to say I hope everyone is doing well! 🙂

    @DianaSBinOC — Brilliant lol! You had me laughing with your candid post. I think you just said what so many girls try to deny. Love it!

  526. PhoneGuy says:

    @DianaSB, I assume you have some data to back up your assertions… 😛

  527. PhillySB says:

    Lol @ DianaSBinOC. You made my day. Thanks for writing what I was thinking!

    & Reading your second post brought back unpleasant memories of a certain SD wanna be who claimed he was an attractive middle aged man with manners… He was like 4 feet tall, missing teeth and to say his hairline wad receding would be an understatement. And when I confronted him about the misleading profile he had said many women thought he was attractive including the one he had at home AND had the nerve to attack me with insults saying I’m no supermodel and I’m trying to take advantage of him etc.. LOL Sometimes the sugar search can be very tedious unfortunately, due to the surplus of delusional cheap and nasty men on here. Sigh

  528. DianaSBinOC says:

    Why thank you Christina:) **blushes***:)

  529. DianaSBinOC says:

    Lying about age ~

    If it’s 5 year or less than that’s not that big of an issue. 10-25+ years than you should be openly mocked. I don’t care how great a guy thinks he looks for his age. Generally men overrate how attractive they are and women underrate how attractive they are. Not sure why men are so delusional on such a large scale but there has been statistical data to corroborate this bizarre phenomenon.

  530. Christiana says:

    Diana Diana Diana…you have got it, nice post indeed

  531. DianaSBinOC says:

    @DaddyGT – Yes there are women here that will compare what they make to what hookers bring in or was it supposed to be better to compare what they take in to the minimum wage receptionist?

    Now in your response to Patricia – yes there are women that have intimate moments with men for $0. The difference there is that they are relationships where people are faithful, looking for long term commitment, love and even marriage. Generally attractiveness on both ends coupled with common interests is what starts those relationships. People are generally in it for love and the long term.

    However if women used that same model here most of the guys on the blog wouldn’t even get a second thought because generally they’re not in the right age group nor looks bracket. If it was so easy to find young women to date and sleep with then this site wouldn’t even exist. The allowance part gives the woman a reason to see you. That’s why some figure out that many of the older guys here don’t have anything to offer but want to date allowance free. Or some SB’s sleep with the fake SD and find out he was just blowing smoke up her skirt.

    Does anyone really want to sleep with an old fat married man for free? No
    A guy can say well if she’s only about the money then… again. You’re an old fat married man, why else would a women be with you? Conversation? charming ? witty? all of that goes out of the window when you realize the guy is cheating on his wife. Some don’t care because they have financial goals in mind and that’s why the sugar bowl can actually work. I mean doesn’t AsleyMad have a bunch of guys that are looking for affairs? Why wouldn’t the guy be on there instead? Because he’ll have to go out of his way to contact women and there if you don’t have money then you better be attractive or you’ll end up at the bottom like most men on regular dating sites.

    Some SB’s don’t even want to be with married men even if the allowance was in the $20,000 rage.

    There are many forums out there and I keep finding prostitution forums that like SA as a means to find gullible women that will accept $300 for weekend stay in a 2 star hotel. When of course your average escort would be paid close to $2500-$7,000 for a one night stay.

    @Bonita ~ it will be harder to find a SD that’s not looking for sex but they are out there. You may have to wait longer but I suggest not to let the SD’s that want to turn their SB’s into cheap prostitutes to put you off of your search. Keep looking but you will have to be more patient.

    @ Patricia~ you read my mind. Don’t mind the guys here. They like keeping their allowances low so they can spread the amount to as many women as possible. Obviously if all Sb’s accepted $500 for a 8 hour date they would all love us. It does bother those that can’t afford to offer more but instead of them saying to each his/her own, they’ll attack you as if there is something wrong with you. Remember many of these guys are cheating on the ones they claim to love the most.
    If you also notice the men that are in the higher allowance bracket, they weren’t bothered with the stats nor were they offended by SB’s that are looking for $5,000+ allowances. That right there says volumes.

    Also the cheaper guys don’t want to share their SB’s either. Imagine that. So he can have multiple SB’s at $1,000 a month but she better be faithful. Just please be discreet because he’s also married. But SB’s here are “entitled”. lol

    I suggest also staying with men in big cities. The top 7 listed above are pretty accurate.

    Also average salary for a receptionist in CA/NY is between $2,500-$3,500 a month. This is again why I suggest sticking to the top 7 locations listed above. An SD living in a location that has a lower wage limit would obviously feel $1,000 was an amazing offer.

    When in Doubt…Play Lotto! lol If I ever win, I would take as many SB’s as I can afford and offer them their allowance desire for a year. They would only need to provide companionship to the forgotten elderly men in old age homes that would appreciate kindness and attention. Sex wouldn’t be an option.

  532. VanillaSugar says:

    Off topic- A guy emailed me, it kind of turned me off, and I almost deleted it right away. But I decided to give him a chance, and tried not to judge too quickly. So, we exchange real emails and communicated that way. I asked him to send a pic, and other questions like his age, occupation, etc…no reply. So, he emails through the site saying that he emailed me back but he didn’t get a reply–weird–I told him to send it again, and he tells me to just email him if I’m interested–so I re-sent the message asking about his age, etc..no reply again. Ok, no biggie. I blocked him..Now, all of a sudden, he wants to reply, and I don’t think he even sent a pic. I am really trying not to be rude, but wtf? How can I politely tell him to jump off? Lol! I’m not understanding the games. Ugh, I wish all these freaking weirdos would go somewhere else.

  533. PhillySB says:

    NSA = No strings attached

  534. VanillaSugar says:

    Hello Hello Hello! You all were on it yesterday!…well, being that I have not had an arrangement yet, I can’t speak on the topic from experience. But I don’t think that 1k-2k is bad–for spending time with someone you enjoy, and treats you nice. And could someone please tell me what NSA is??

    @Va Gentleman ” I am in my early 60s and look 45 , and put that on my profile . I have never had any issue with SBs questioning my age . I know –you are all sucking in your breath and tut tutting about such an indiscretion”

    LOL! I didn’t suck my teeth at all..but you are too funny!

  535. PhillySB says:

    @ Teeny

    Guess I’m a weird chick too. Lol
    I’m usually shocked to read about some of the figures thrown around here. Guess I’m a cheap date too. I do drink but not a lot especially on first dates. I like to do coffee or lunch too. That way there’s less pressure and the atmosphere just makes everything more casual. In case you don’t connect, or if you find your date hideous (SD or SB) and need a quick escape its a lot easier to end a coffee / lunch date then a fancy dinner at a 5 * restaurant lol.

  536. Teeny says:

    Seeing how much some you guys pay just for a date (dinner and what not) makes me feel like a cheap date lol. I dont drink so I have no need for someone to spend a bunch of money at a bar “getting to know each other” Id much prefer a 5 dollar coffee from starbucks and sit in the sun chatting then in a dark bar. As far as dinner dates go.. where the hell are you going that it costs 400 bucks for dinner? Maybe its because of where I live but even the really nice fancy places here dont cost that much for 2 people… unless maybe you order a really expensive bottle of wine (i dont drink so i have no idea what a bottle of wine goes for) Maybe Im a weird chick idk, but shopping sprees and fancy dinners just arent my thing, I would rather make a nice home cooked meal to show my appreciation for my SD then have him take me out to dinner.

  537. PhillySB says:

    @Bonita @Va Gentleman

    ” I want to find a sugar daddy who’s not looking for intimacy just friendship only.”

    It is definitely possible to find such an arrangement. There are at least two men in the sugar world currently seeking exactly what you described, who are also ready to provide financial assistance on an ongoing basis. I know because both of these men got in touch with me and proposed that offer. (Neither were on this site though. I’m active on another sugar site too because for some reason I get four times more profile visits there.. must be more women on SA idk)
    They’re not very common, but they are out there! So if that’s what you’re looking for, don’t give up! You might want to state that on your profile btw. And you might consider doing some traveling. Both of the gentlemen I mentioned were out of state (one in Maryland, the other I don’t remember) both were in their 60s and married. One said he was very lonely and wants a loyal and sweet companion who can talk to him on the phone and keep in touch throughout the day in exchange for financial help. He was willing to provide transportation $ too a few times a month for dates and other activities in his town. While this wasn’t my cup of sugar (quoting Honey here “I like agave nectar in my coffee” LOL ) if this is what you like then go for it don’t get discouraged by some people in the blog that ‘know it all’. Take my word for it, not every SD is trying to get in your pants. Some really do need someone youthful to talk to. They are just harder to find so you might have to look for a while and have patience. Just remember though,these types of SDs might be a little older than what you’re used to – I don’t know your age/ preferences – so make sure you can be on the same level intellectually. You might find it boring after a while .. Best of luck though!

  538. Anna Molly says:

    You slackers! Get back to work or it’s dungeon time for all of you!!! Hey, wait, that sounds like fun….hehehe. 😉

  539. DorkyGuy says:

    LOL @ all the SDs posting during working hours 😛

  540. ChicagoDaddy says:

    @SD Guru

    “If you’re spending about $500 each time as the cost of having fun, and you do that 8 to 10 times a month, then you’re indeed spending 4-5k/month. But that’s just the cost of having fun though, what about the amount related to all the extras you said you provided? How much would that increase your monthly spending?”

    Roughly a $1000 a month. I would characterize them as luxury items of a personal nature. Momentos – a pair of $300 sunglasses, or bamboo pajamas, or a new wallet.

    “Also, in line with the blog topic, would you consider your spending as “average” for your area, or are you at the higher end of the scale?”

    High end. And to be candid, I question whether the high end restaurants are worth it. I have more fun in the piano bars, blues clubs, or even dive bars. So do my girlfriends.

    “Are you finding your “girlfriends” on SA or somewhere else? It seems that there aren’t that many “girlfriend” types on SA or other sugar dating sites.”

    At the moment I am seeing three women regularly, two from SA and one from SD4ME. They are 27, 32, and 37, and all are caucasian. By regularly I average once a week with each. I also see a fourth from SD4ME occasionally. They are girlfriends. They all know about each other. They all have other men in their lives. We discuss their men, their jobs, their problems. We text about what we are doing. My wife knows about them. (My wife is also on SD4ME, which is interesting in the sense that it gives me a perspective on what women see and choose from.) I have dates lined up for tonight (37 single mom, entrepreneur), tomorrow afternoon (27, single, new masters degree and trying to break into teaching), and the night after (32, grad student, married but husband in Florida).

    But your question boils down to “are they rare on SA”? My experience is that depends on the demographics. The women I met that were under 25 were driven by the money. Between 25 and 40 about half have financial issues, but they are not driven by them. For example, I had lunch with an a 27 y.o. asian investment banker. Her stated reason – student loans. The truth – sure, she would love for someone to “help” her with the loans, but if you are beautiful, 27, working 70 hours a week, and traveling, you want a part time lover that will show you a quality time.

    Over 40 the financial issues become secondary. They exist, but the lady is shopping.

  541. Anna Molly says:

    Sorry to hear that GTT_Envy. I know how you feel. 🙁

  542. DaddyGT says:

    Looks like the SDs are taking over the blog.

    Another ‘sorry it came to a breakup’ here. That said, kudos to you for knowing where to draw the line for your own sanity and happiness, and just as important, actually drawing it.

    Have fun searching for the next SB. May *she* be all you are after, and more.

  543. SouthernGent2 says:

    @GTT_Envy – sorry to hear that. I can imagine the decision wasn’t easy. Like you, I hate being lied to. If I am giving someone money and gifts, then I find it disrespectful to lie to me. And if I knowingly let someone get away with it, then I feel like a chump being taken advantage of. So now I let everyone I meet know about my no lying rule.

  544. Va Gentleman says:


    ” So, sad but alas our time has expired ”

    So sorry brother . As one emotionally involved SD to another I totally understand how hard this is for you . It is hard to find a SB who wants to have some degree of E-involvement crave . You will find it again and having had the experience you had you will know the questions to ask and type of girl you are looking for . NSA is the name of the game here but I call it “with a twist “

  545. GTT_Envy says:

    So, sad but alas our time has expired. After txting and talking to my (now former) SB last night I decided it was best we go our separate ways. I’m probably a little more attached then the average SD there has to be a connection, common interests, and alot of communication in between meetings.

    For her to lie for no reason at all and about the stupidest stuff too…….just rubs me the wrong way. I know in theory it shouldn’t matter what she does with HER time as long as when we have our time she is totally focused on me, right?

    Either way the hardest part is getting back out there the emails, this is what I’m looking for, the friendly banter it’s work. The comfortability will be missed that is for sure.

    As far as all of the crazy high numbers being thrown around $3k beauty budgets, $5 a month allowance, kudos to the girls receiving that!!

    As a SD who only sees a SB one weekend a month with talk, txt, in between there is no way I personally could justify that with any woman. It’s just too little time for the outlay of cash, but glad for you girls pulling it off. Maybe your frequency is much higher IDK?

  546. SouthernGent2 says:

    @Patricia – to see you four times per month I meant to add???

  547. SouthernGent2 says:

    @Patricia – would you take a deal of 1200 paid on the first day of each month?

  548. DaddyGT says:

    ##Not all but many men on this site are very confused. They want a beautiful young woman to spend intimate moments with them for less the price of a street hooker.

    You do realise though, that the vast majority of the women on the planet are spending intimate moments with their male companions for $0 don’t you?

    The problem with comparing allowances to what street hookers make, is that you very quickly run into the problem of comparing a whole bunch of other things with street hookers, and finding either no difference, or very small differences.

    Man A:: Supermodel, would you sleep with me for $1m?
    Supermodel: Well, I might. That would be cash in advance right?
    Man A:: Supermodel, would you sleep with me for $100?
    Supermodel: Hell no, what do you think I am, a common prostitute?
    Man A:: Supermodel, we have already established what you are, we are just negotiating on the price.

    So once again, can the ladies please stop judging and hating on the cheap daddies, and comparing their allowances with what hookers make. You might not like the results when those arguments are taken to their logical conclusion.

  549. Patricia says:

    Anyways time is too precious to argue on a website. I wish you good luck finding a modest sugar baby…

  550. Patricia says:

    At VA GEntleman- I don’t chill ax with homies lol. Whatever that means….
    Sorry if. I offended your sensitivity but I was just being honest about my standards. I’m not on a sd website to find a guy who’s more broke than I am or the average upper middle class joe. Most sugar babies have a sugar daddy for the financial benefits but prefer young good looking men for their personal pleasure. Unlike most people, I couldn’t care less about what a man looks like. The only thing that matters to me is how he treats me. I don’t date attractive men .
    Not all but many men on this site are very confused. They want a beautiful young woman to spend intimate moments with them for less the price of a street hooker. I’m referring to the guy who offered $300 per week…

  551. Va Gentleman says:

    @ BONITA

    ” I want to find a sugar daddy who’s not looking for intimacy just friendship only ”

    Do you want an allowance for that privilege or just friendship ? If the latter absolutely there will be plently of men who would probably enjoy being your friend . If you want to be paid for it I would say forget about it .

  552. Va Gentleman says:

    @ Patricia

    ” I have no problem finding a guy who will spend hundreds of dollars on a dinner but I don’t call them sugar daddies, I call them regular dates… Most men I know would pay for a 5 stat hotel if I accepted to spend the night with them but what’s in there for the lady ”

    Maybe you are just chillaxin’ with us homies here on the blog Patricia , but you come across as very entitled and arrogant . I hope I am just misconstruing what you are trying to get across ,and if so I apologise for the bluntness . As a word of advice , if you present that attitude to your pots then there will be a long list of rejection notices . Oh –I forgot –you are genetically gifted .


    ” It involved a date with a normal guy which is fine and she knows that, but she 100% lied and said she was with her girlfriends social networking proved otherwise Do I say something ” ?

    It depends on how emotionally involved you are with this SB . If she is available for you when you need her and you have a great time with her then there shouldn’t be a problem . If you are attatched to her then I think you should bring it up and tell her that you do not appreciate lying to you . It was stupid of her to do so since it didn’t matter anyway . It just introduces mistrust .

  553. Va Gentleman says:

    Wow! Lots of lively discussion since I last logged on . Where should I start ?

    @LateBloomer SB

    Pot #1 –gentleman but not a SD type ? If you like him give him a chance to respond to your allowance needs . Consider (heaven forbid ! ) PTP for a few dates until he learns to trust you . If he feels like a John paying you money , then he will never work .

    Pot #2 – 60 yr old lied on his profile . Don’t hold that against him on that basis alone . After all , the sugar life style is a fantasy world anyway and this gentleman is just trying to get in the game with you 20 somethings .

    I am in my early 60s and look 45 , and put that on my profile . I have never had any issue with SBs questioning my age . I know –you are all sucking in your breath and tut tutting about such an indiscretion . @DianaSB calls us “clever old men who prey on young women” Well , the bottom line is ,do you want to find a SD who will take good care of you or not ? Meet him and make your decision based on your attraction to him . If he is youthful looking and acting ,then age is just a number and doesn’t matter . If he is 60 and looks ridden hard and turns you off ,then walk away .

    @Sssdaddy and @ PrinceCharming –are mega daddies offering $ 5,000 -10,000 /month plus . Good for them that they are lucky in life and work hard to provide that level of support. If I were you ladies I would be hitting on them before the rest of us lower hierarchal guys ( to quote @ AnnaMW )

    @ AnnaMW

    Congratulations on being in the upper echelon , higher hierarchy . You must be very fortunate and /or work very hard to consider $5000/ month “play money ” Have you met Prince Charming or Sssdaddy yet ?


    ” So, if the SA averages are to be believed, the average US SB is doing almost twice as good as the average working man or woman in the US ”

    Also ,keep in mind that sugar income is not for hard labor 8 hours/day in the salt mines . The monthly allowance is for pleasant outings ,social occasions ,travel , gifting , and yes –you do have to undergo a little “Hard” labor in the sack ,but hopefully you will enjoy it as much as your loving SD .

    @ Sassy Great picture and beautiful girl ! Where do you live by the way ?

    @ Christiana

    ” Just my comment, I wouldn’t sell myself for a miserly 22K a year or anything like it ”

    So you WILL sell yourself –just not at that price ? How much ?

  554. BONITA says:

    I want to find a sugar daddy who’s not looking for intimacy just friendship only, is it possible? I’m from Australia and want to study in the USA (boston) anyone here who reads this please get in touch with me if you are interested in helping someone who needs it and is a good person!

  555. Heathyr says:

    I live in Austin, TX and I can’t quite say that I hav e found many SDs here. I have met only a few and most of them are not generous. I have met a very good SD, but he is the only one who seems to want anything more than paying for sex. I think Austin SDs need a revamp!!! It’s nice to be on the list, but it does not ensure quality, unfortunately.

  556. flyr says:

    It’s easy to miss the fact that the SB here run the full spectrum from those for whom it is an occupation and one in which they are expected to be on call to college students and mothers where the relationship is a struggle to match schedules. There’s also different expectations with respect to supplemental benefits such as mentoring, assisting in contacts etc. Finally there’s differences in expectations from what happens in the bedroom from a relationship that is highly nurturing to the “down on your knees, bitch” approach (and worse).

    There’s SD’s for whom arm candy is critically important to their egos and others who do not care or do not want to be seen in public.

    Personally there’s a drama discount. If there is drama involved there better be some overwhelming reason to be involved. Others see drama as edgy …………………

    Of course I have a conflict of interest as a SD but for the typical SB my advice is to look at the whole package look for what’s important to you .

  557. Colorado SB says:

    I believe everyone in here has awesome valid opinions on this blog, that is definetely true. I had a daddy in Texas, I have always gone for guys out of town because I haven’t been able to find a man worthwhile here in Colorado. I have 1300 dollars I have to pay alone a month just for school.. I need a new SD who wants to know me off my feet 🙂

  558. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!
    Hope everyone had a great weekend!

  559. Tina says:

    @Daddy GT: you rock too 🙂

  560. Patricia says:

    @Daddygt- I totally agree with you that there are more sugar babies than daddies. There will always be more broke young women than older wealthy Men. Sugar babies are a Dime for a dozen but so are cheap guys who think they will get a beautiful woman half their age to bed in exchange for a dinner. I had a good sugar daddy for 2 years. After i broke up with him, i took a break of a few years and now I started looking again and I’m pretty disappointed so far but not willing to settle for less. I’m sure there are women who are more beautiful than I am who expect much less simply because they don’t know better. To each his own but this girl won’t settle for the average joe anytime soon :).

  561. Tina says:

    @Dorky: Nawty hasn’t been on here much either, and just because you haven’t been on the blog much I’m sure you need a little dungeon time too!

  562. Tina says:

    Looks like I’m a little late to the party (damn job!), but I would like to state that regardless of looks and sex appeal, it’s all about the connection. Yes, having a beautiful person on your arm and/or in your bed is nice for a time, but it gets boring. I’ve dating very attractive men IRL, but they couldn’t connect with me intellectually. Regardless of how good the sex was, the relationship was boring and stale. I didn’t want anything from them if we weren’t in bed. For a good relationship, IMHO, you need to want to be with that person and enjoy their company. This person needs to add to your life, not just take away your free time. This person needs to make you better when you’re together, and make you want to be better when you’re apart.

    Does it sound like a fairy tale? Perhaps. Do I feel that this is true? Definitely. I don’t like to be bored……..I have an active mind, am intelligent, and ambitious. I like who I am, and I know what I want. Can that make it difficult to find a SD, or IRL? Definitely. But, as Honey mentioned, I’m worth the effort. I’m attractive, but not perfect. There’s so much more to me that makes me even more attractive than anything physical.

  563. Christiana says:

    I started working on my future from the first day I started, thankssss

  564. DaddyGT says:


    I agree with you. It takes a meeting of minds, and the rest of us should not really be in the business of disparaging whatever deal two individuals who are both happy with it agree.

    If your current setup makes you happy, fair play to you, and hope you remain happy. Your setup is certainly not one I would ever want to be in though. Like you said, each to their own.

    That said, I certainly you have or are making plans for life after sugar. Sugar relationships do not last forever, even if indeed they last for a long time. If marriages can break down, so can sugar.

    And there are plenty of horror stories about dependent sugar babes who suddenly found themselves up the proverbial smelly creek when the relationship soured very quickly.

    Homeless, and incomeless with an unexplained gap in employment is not the best place to be. Ever. And unlike most wives, the law is unlikely to be on your side should this ever happen.

    And even if the sugar lasts ’till death’, there are just as many stories of his family throwing the SB out and worse.

    Once again, kudos on your success and joy, but make sure you have a solid plan for when the sugar sours.

  565. Christiana says:

    I guess it is all in the SD and SB how they react, how they depend on each other, what each has to offer and what the SD is prepared to pay. I gave up my full time work to make myself available as required, he offered a certain amount which is 3 times what I was receiving in my full time job (which was just a receptionist in a real estate office), in two weeks I move into an apartment owned by my SD rent free. We get on so well and he appreciates the effort I make as well as I appreciate his financing of me, his mentoring and ongoing training in property development and real estate with acquaintances of his. Life is dam good.

  566. maria says:

    i wish i am be ur sugar baby….. hhmmmmmmmm….

  567. DaddyGT says:


    I fully respect your opinions. And once again, kudos to you *both* for winning the genetic lottery, and secondly for being rather successful in your sugar dating.

    Not all women can do it.

    At the risk of sounding trite, the problem one quickly runs into, is where a sugar daddy says the exact same thing you do.

    “I’ve been blessed with good looks or money and there’s no shortage of men to take me to expansive places […] if it granted them a night to be spent with me. ”

    More importantly though, and something I take very seriously, … “it takes more than beauty to qualify as a potential sugar baby… Maybe it is because I am not a horny sex starved student and I’ve always dated women who were very attractive but […]” .

    I am actually very serious about the last ‘misquote’ though. There is nothing more offputting than going on a date with an otherwise beautiful pot SB, who thinks that it is merely enough just to turn up. I do more than alright in my non sugar dating, so I don’t ever feel the need to ‘pay to score’ or ‘pay to date’, so they’d better be a meeting of minds or nobody’s getting laid.

    More importantly though, a number of people have reiterated this a few times. The deck is stacked massively in the SDs favour. Just purely on numbers. There are far more SBs looking for a pot SD than the other way round.

    And the complaints here on not being able to land one, tend to be from SBs. Never from SDs.

    If whatever you are doing works for you, great. Do more of it. But it is to these ‘still seeking’ SBs that most of the SDs here are implicity addressing.

    Like I wrote above. Have your desires, have your expectations (or standards if you want to call them that). But manage those expectations well, and never set them so high you price yourself out of the market.

    And as I have said before, I don’t think the market is quite as rich or lucrative as the marketing material that sold you onto the sugar lifestyle might suggest.

  568. Patricia says:

    @daddy -while I’m sure that these women exist, I would assume that they are not the majority on this site . I’ve been blessed with good looks and there’s no shortage of men to take me to expansive places I couldn’t afford otherwise or to rent extravagant ant hotel rooms if it granted them a night to be spent with me. WHile I appreciate these dinners it takes more than that to qualify as a potential sugar daddy… Maybe it is because I am not a starving student and I’ve always dated men who were well off but to me a sugar daddy is someone who offers diamonds and furs not food and champaign 🙂
    (Not trying to disrespect anyone here this is just my personal opinion)

  569. Honey says:

    Everyone is entitled to their own brand of Sugar. I’m Honey but I like agave nectar in my coffee. Some may prefer Equal, Truvia, whatever,it’s simply a personal preference,right?

  570. PhoneGuy says:

    >What’s the worst thing that can happen?
    Evidently the SB could come on the blogs and complain that I don’t read her profile or don’t pay attention or that I’m a cheap so and so. 😉

  571. DaddyGT says:

    Most men I know would pay for a 5 stat hotel if I accepted to spend the night with them but what’s in there for the lady?
    His great company.

    I have no problem finding a guy who will spend hundreds of dollars on a dinner but I don’t call them sugar daddies, I call them regular dates…

    While I am very happy for you, this is not the case for all women. The numbers mean it is cannot hold for all women.

    Whenever I am dating, sugar or not, my entertainment budget tends to be on the other side of the national income average. Now, most guys can probably afford the occasional OTT dinner date, but few can afford to do this consistently, week in week out.

    Sure many women could be going on dates every week with different guys that splash out for date #1 (with flowers no less), but simple maths says that the number of guys who can afford to do this consistently is pretty small. And the competition for them is intense.

    So the assertion that ‘any woman can get taken out for nice meals … that’s not being a SD’ is one that must be taken with a pinch of salt.

    So yes, some women are happy to have a no-allowance SD who gives them these experiences that they might not otherwise get. That they value them more than just the $$ allowance, should not be sneered at.

  572. Honey says:

    GTT_Envyt Sorry ,quick break to hang with a friend.
    I would watch carefully, she lies when she does not have to.

  573. Patricia says:

    @ChicagoDaddy- you’re exactly the kind of guy I’m trying to avoid on this site. Most women on here know they are beautiful. I have no problem finding a guy who will spend hundreds of dollars on a dinner but I don’t call them sugar daddies, I call them regular dates… Most men I know would pay for a 5 stat hotel if I accepted to spend the night with them but what’s in there for the lady?

  574. DaddyGT says:

    They say there are SBs who say they expect 10-20k but accept considerably less. In a world like that what do I do and who do I contact?

    Hahaha. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I suppose there is no harm done in putting in an offer that is below here (initial?) expectations, but more in line with yours. What’s the worst thing that can happen?

    How do you guys/gals feel about lieing? This is supposed to be NSA how much does it matter and it’s not like it’s 100% full disclosure on both sides.

    This one is incredibly personal. Things that I will person will take very seriously in a relationship might not matter to another person. That said, lying is generally a bad sign. I have to agree with you though, that the nature of the sugar bowl certainly lends itself to more honesty, particularly earlier on in the relationships.

    If a SB lied to me about going off to see her ex-BF, and then called me for help when the proverbial brown stuff hit the fan, I don’t think I would be in any rush at all to help out. This falls distinctly into what Guru refers to as “making her problems your problems”.

    That you are posing the question here though, suggests that these lies do bother you. Up to you to decide whether the rest of the relationship compensates for this. Good luck.

  575. PhoneGuy says:

    GTT, I probably wouldn’t next her but I would let her know that I want the truth and can handle the truth…assuming you can handle the truth. 😉

  576. SouthernGent2 says:

    @GTT-Envyt – if a girl lies to you when you are helping her financially, then I consider that being disrespectful. Next her…

  577. Late Bloomer SB says:

    Takes the cake: A pot from several years ago told me he would bring a gift to our third date……two bars of specialty soap! At least I’d be clean for my next pot.

  578. GTT_Envyt says:

    I think she forgets I’m one of her Instagram followers. She had a quasi emergency and needed a hotel saying her trip to see a friend was miserable and she didn’t want to stay there etc etc etc the fact was she went to see a EX and it didn’t go well and she needed a hotel.

    She knows I don’t care if she has a BF and I would have her much rather said “I went to go see XXX he’s a #$#$, can you help me with a hotel so sorry last minute!!” versus saying it was one of her girlfriends.

    This was all verifed by her Instagram posts! We have a blast when we are together I’m afraid these little lies will weigh on that input??

  579. Honey says:

    GTT_Envyt…hard call…How did you find out about the deception? Did she do something to make you suspicious?

  580. Honey says:

    “Her one night stands insist on keeping in touch via e-mail-‘
    “Guys make a drawer available in their closets without even be asked”,
    “Her monthly entertainment/clothing budget has the asterisk ” But tell me if you need more, I want you to look nice for everyone,not just me”
    She is the most interesting sb in the world.!!!
    Confidence is the ultimate aphrodisiac,I don’t PLAY hard to get, I AM hard to get.
    If you have ANY doubts about your worth, you need not play the “game” because you WILL get hurt. I realize that I may not be everyone’s cup of tea, so I look for the coffee drinkers! Don’t try to be all things to all men, even I can’t swing that! Be yourself and be consistent.
    Watching Harold and Kumar, Too funny! lovely day in Houston!!!

  581. GTT_Envyt says:

    Definitely a lively discussion valid points on all sides…..I guess it proves all arrangments are different.

    How do you guys/gals feel about lieing? This is supposed to be NSA how much does it matter and it’s not like it’s 100% full disclosure on both sides.

    I ran across this yesterday where my SB said one thing, but clearly I know for a fact that was not the case. It involved a date with a normal guy which is fine and she knows that, but she 100% lied and said she was with her girlfriends social networking proved otherwise 🙂 Do I say something or just let it ride because it’s really been the only instance and she seems honest for the most part and again it’s not like I’m sharing every iota of info with her.

    Honesty how important is it?

  582. Late Bloomer SB says:

    On a related note, my experience in seeing the stated expectations of other SB’s seems to indicate that many SBs don’t really understand the economics of arrangements. In most cities in the US, you will be lucky to receive of fraction of what many SB’s seem to expect. Perhaps some are just starting negotiations high? Or maybe they are 18-20 and don’t understand reality at all! I don’t mean this to be discouraging, but the numbers on this blog are extremely inflated.

    For instance, in my hometown and surrounding areas, an SB would be priviledged to receive 1K-1.5K and this is a legitimate offer in my opinion. It also a very good offer as it can supplement income very well in many places. 3-5K is only (maybe) reasonable in places like NY or LA, anything above that is just wishful thinking. I am simply basing this on experience, conversations with SBs and SDs, and a basic understanding of income distribution in the US.

  583. Late Bloomer SB says:

    Thanks all for your input on my two pots. I am currently in my home town for a few weeks for the holiday so I’ve had time to step back from the situation. Well I am not new to SD/SB relationships, I find it extremely difficult to find a legitimate relationship in which the SD is sincere about providing assistance and doesn’t try to trick or manipulate me into accepting something not so great.

    The reason Pot #1 was a difficult case was the fact that everything about him seemed legit until we actually got to talking about the arrangement. He gave me accurate info, a full name, came to me for my comfort, very respectful, etc. Frankly, many don’t even pass those tests so I didn’t want to write him off too soon. He claimed he was taken advantage of by an SB in the past and it turns out he feels that way because he actually agreed to provide a monthly allowance! I agree with everyone on this one and I haven’t recontacted him as of yet. He knows I am out of town and expects to hear from me but it seemed very obvious that he wants a girlfriend, not an SB.

    As for Pot #2, I’m not sure I can be attracted to someone in their 60s. I mean, my dad is in his early 60s so early 50s to mid 50s is about as high as I’d like to go. When I was 21 and tried sugar websites, my pots were always early 30s to mid 40s. Just a few years later, they are all late 50s plus? Oh dear!

    Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

  584. Honey says:

    OOH,interesting discussion!! Lively!!

  585. PhoneGuy says:

    >Actually there is. If your profile states $10k-$20k allowance requirement, and someone offers you >$1k, then by all means take umbridge and be very insulted
    DaddyGT, In my world, words have meaning and I believe and respect them. What I’ve heard from others is that this isn’t true for all people. They say there are SBs who say they expect 10-20k but accept considerably less. In a world like that what do I do and who do I contact?

  586. robert says:

    Va Gentleman is right that budget cannot be 20% of income, particularly since this is pretax income. $54,000 per year on an income of $264,000 on an after tax basis is almost 30% of income, on average (more in NY and California with high local taxes). That wouldn’t work for any married man and not likely to work for any man.

  587. DaddyGT says:


    I sort of agree with you in some respects, but also disagree quite strongly in others.

    I would disagree that there is something wrong with a woman who is insulted by a 1k offer.
    Actually there is. If your profile states $10k-$20k allowance requirement, and someone offers you $1k, then by all means take umbridge and be very insulted. If not, and it says negotiable, then you have no right to be insulted.

    We are all individuals, and we all have different tastes. Person A will gladly spend $2k on some limited-edition-hand-painted-by-a-blind-Japanese-man sneakers. Person B will think that that is an incredible waste of money … you can get perfectly good trainers for $100 after all. Person B though, will gladly spend $2k on a bottle of some vintage wine, which Person A will see as an incredible waste of money … you can get a perfectly decent bottle of wine for $30 after all.

    So, we have different things that we are willing to splash out on. So yes, many men, including incredibly wealthy ones, will never see the need to splash out more than $1k per month in allowance. And many others, including many of more modest means, will not see a problem with spending $10k on allowances, even if it is half their disposable income.

    If as a SB, you don’t get into bed out of bed for less than $10k, and can market yourself to the right sort of man who is willing to pay this, then fine. I don’t think anyone will begrudge you on your talents. At all.

    However, if you feel you are entitled to $10k, and get annoyed, judgemental, and insulting about all the cheap SDs who won’t give you what you deem yourself to be worth, then I personally think there is a problem.

    A high income, flexible schedule and lack of baggage makes a girls time more valuable.
    Heh! My immediate retort is that my time is incredibly valuable too. Possibly more valuable in $$ terms than the SBs. Should she be compensating me for that?

    My more measured responses is that sugar dating is ultimately about relationships. A relationship where only one party feels she should be valued, and a relationship where she measures my contribution to her life only in the size of the cheque I am cutting her every month, is certainly not one I want to be in.

  588. DaddyGT says:

    More perspective on allowance figures for SBs.

    Was on the BBC site, and there was a page allowing you to compare your gross income with other national income averages.
    (There’s a link on the BBC news homepage to this page)

    Back of the envelope calculations on US incomes/tax rates …
    $2,000 allowance, if earned as salary, would be around $2,556 per month ($30,6k pa).
    $4,357 allowance, if earned as salary, would be around $6,212 per month ($74.5k pa).
    $4,357 being the SA computed average in the original article above

    From the BBC income comparison page ..
    Your wage is $2,556. The world average is $1,480. Your wage is 78% of the United States average and 173% of the world average.
    Your wage is $6,212. The world average is $1,480. Your wage is 190% of the United States average and 420% of the world average.

    So, if the SA averages are to be believed, the average US SB is doing almost twice as good as the average working man or woman in the US. Not bad really, and regional cost of living variations not withstanding, still a good place to be on the income distribution table.

    So what is *average*?
    According to that BBC page, the US average pre-tax wage, is $3,263.
    Back of the envelope calculations again – That translates to a post tax income of about $2,502 per month.

    So yeah, anyone getting more than $2.5k in post tax allowance per month, is doing better than the average working man or woman in the US. Now there’s food for thought.

  589. AnnaMW says:

    @ SD Guru – I loved your blog entry that you linked to in your most recent post. Your observations are smart, practical and very useful.

    Two of my three SDs have been in the top bracket you mentioned in your post. Top 1% looking for top 1%, unwilling to settle than less than their ideal. Upper echelon SBs can be just as discriminating. As you intimated, screening based on profession, age, location and marital status come into play on both sides.

    The moral of the story is: Not all SBs and SDs are created equal… Everyone has different needs and expectations, there is a hierarchy and that is just fine!

  590. Christiana says:

    My SD pays me to be at his beck and call plus a health and fitness budget and I am not the slightest bit insulted. 🙂

  591. AnnaMW says:

    @ PrinceCharming – 😉

  592. AnnaMW says:

    @ Diana – You rock. I think I want to be your friend.

    @ DaddyGT – I agree that there is nothing sexy about full support. It diminishes the NSA aspect of an arrangement creating an obligation or burden on the SD. However, there are plenty of guys out there who enjoy having that level of positive impact and the control that goes along with it.

    I would disagree that there is something wrong with a woman who is insulted by a 1k offer. My taxable income is higher than many of the SDs on this site, so 5k is play money. That doesn’t make me entitled, i’ve just worked very hard and this has become my reality. I don’t have trouble meeting guys who can afford that and walk away from anyone I’m not attracted to since this is a lifestyle choice rather than a perceived necessity.

    There is a hierarchy to sugar dating. The wealthiest men I’ve encountered seem shy away from certain types of baggage (kids, husbands, ex’s, drugs, 19 year olds, financially destitute). An attractive, employed, intelligent, accommodating and monogamous SB is very valuable to a guy with limited time and extensive resources.

    I don’t disparage you for paying SBs a secretary wage because plenty of women would be happy with that offer. For example, an underemployed single mother who wants more time to spend with her children might find that offer very appealing. A high income, flexible schedule and lack of baggage makes a girls time more valuable. It may not be fair to assume something to be wrong with an SB who expects something different from what you have to offer, it just means they just aren’t right for you.

  593. Elizabeth says:

    I’m in the above video. too bad it wont play lol

  594. DorkyGuy says:

    @Sassy~ Leave the pic up, it’s beautiful 😉

    @DaddyGT & PrinceCharming~ Glad to see you guys around, welcome back!

    @Everyone else~ I don’t have time to read the blog tonight, but I will assume that everyone is being naughty, and so you should all report to AnnaMolly’s dungeon for your spankings.

    • SD Guru says:

      Welcome to all the new and returning bloggers!!

      A while back I wrote about “Allowance in Real Dollar Terms” in my blog, which is similar to comments made by DaddyGT and others. It can also help to put the stats from the blog topic into context.


      Thanks for sharing your experience with the blog and I have some questions based on what you wrote.

      “Last night was typical… total $470. And I considered that an inexpensive night. I do that 8 to 10 times a month.”

      If you’re spending about $500 each time as the cost of having fun, and you do that 8 to 10 times a month, then you’re indeed spending 4-5k/month. But that’s just the cost of having fun though, what about the amount related to all the extras you said you provided? How much would that increase your monthly spending?

      Also, in line with the blog topic, would you consider your spending as “average” for your area, or are you at the higher end of the scale?

      “I am a classic womanizer, and that is the first thing that I tell the women I meet. I have lots of girlfriends.”

      Are you finding your “girlfriends” on SA or somewhere else? It seems that there aren’t that many “girlfriend” types on SA or other sugar dating sites.

  595. PrinceCharming says:


    #1 = Goodbye. Seriously, you’ve already stated what you’re looking for, and this isn’t a used car lot. There’s some room for negotiation, but in spite of SD#1 positive attributes, you could find what he’s offering on a regular dating site, and if this is his opening gambit, it goes down from here. If this is the arrangement he wants, he’s looking in the wrong place or needs to find a profile that’s a better fit. Arrangements aren’t for cheapskates.

    #2 = Up to you, but lying about age by 20 years is, well… Depends on your tastes. One of my ex’s recently went on a first sugar date under the same circumstances (deception about age) and while they had good chemistry, the age gap and physical aspect was just too much for her to overcome, and it didn’t go further. I’m a strong advocate that you shouldn’t pursue a sugar relationship with someone you wouldn’t consider dating IRL, ie money does NOT overcome a lack of attraction, and if you fake it things will fall apart one way or another.

    I would agree about SBs not pricing themselves out of the market. I happen to be one of the SDs that will provide 60K a year, but of my former arrangements, the one that was more like 30K a year I was very happy with — and that ran for years, fortunately my income has increased since then so I’m more open to the higher allowances. I would add one thing to your advice, and that is for the SBs to determine up front if they’re thinking short-term or long-term arrangement, and if they’re thinking long-term, it might be worth sacrificing a little monthly allowance for potentially years of sugar.

    Your are SPOT ON about sugar being play money/buying free time for SBs. As soon as it’s critical for support, i.e. they’re not self-sufficient, the drama factor of the arrangement skyrockets. After two experiences where this was the case, I added “employed” to my wish list for a SB in my profile. While we may have different limits on our allowances, I agree that any SB that doesn’t see the value of money is a liability worth skipping.

    I see we’re agreeing again (this time on LateBloomer). Good luck on finding the “right one.”

    That’s quite the accidental pic you have there.

    One of the reasons I enjoy the blog so much is seeing comments like yours being repeated. Being a 40-something it’s awesome to be perceived as worthy of attention from the sub-40 somethings.

  596. I feel like these stats aren’t very accurate because from experience I have found out that many gentlemen aren’t honest about their incomes, etc…
    Like NC Gent said, many younger guys are here trying to score a free girlfriend 🙂
    I find it frustrating when men under 45 write to me because most of the time they are not serious. For that reason, I’m looking for a much older SD.

  597. Tina says:

    @Sassy: unfortunately you can’t delete posts (it’s a beautiful pic, by the way). If you want it as your avatar, go to gravatar dot com and use the same e-mail you use here, then upload the pic.

    You can ask the illustrious blog god(s) (aka Guru) to delete your post for you, if you would like. Just ask.

  598. Sassy says:

    🙁 oh no that is not the way to add a pic. sorry
    so anyone know how I can delete it?

  599. Sassy says:

    “Personally, I like to think that my sugar allowance frees up some time for you. And ideally, you *choose* to spend that time with me. The alternative of course is that she could be spending that time in a second job, or working nights at a local eatery, or some such. So, I free up some time for her. And she chooses to spend that time with me”

    This really spoke to me. I’ve been trying to put this aspect into words for awhile. Thanks for the help

  600. AnnaMW says:

    @LateBloomer – I would kick #1 to the curb. He sounds like a classic Cheap Charlie who thinks that he’s so great that he shouldn’t be expected to take care of his SB financially. He wants the NSA aspect of an arrangement, but wants it to feel like a normal dating relationship despite being entirely on his terms.

    Some men balk at giving women an allowance because it feels too much like paying for affection. However, many of those guys are comfortable with contributing to specific things like rent, school and other things that would serve better your life.

    Guy #2 Well, a lot of people lie about their age. I think it’s silly, but tend to cut people some slack for lies they tell in the beginning. I once had a guy show up for a date who was at least 15 years older than he said. I was mortified and felt like he’d completely wasted my time. Had he mentioned his age prior to meeting, I wouldn’t have felt slighted. The real question is whether you can see yourself being attracted to a 60 year old???

    I am in my mid 20s and while I’ve met lovely men of all ages, my former SDs have between 36-42. I’m not hung up on looks at all and have always dated much older men, but when they start to approach my parents age (they’re 53), I feel a little weird. Maybe I just haven’t met the right one. 😉

  601. Tina says:

    Much love to the blog SDs MWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (blowing kisses) You guys are great!

  602. Tia B. says:

    @Tina: I know, it’s great 🙂

  603. Tina says:

    @ Tia B: oh, I know there are legit SDs on here. The small percentage of SD population that is represented on this blog is amazing – these are wonderful, giving, thoughtful men who work hard for what they earn.

  604. Tia B. says:

    @ Tina- Most of the SD on here are legit. They have been really nice, gentlemanly, and fact is better than RL men my age. It is ridiculously awesome to find a guy who is mature, honest, knows what he wants in life, has the drive to get it, but not only that, wants to help you get to where you want to be to. I have met people who are more than willing to help once they realize that you have that same motivational drive to get somewhere and be someone in life. They might not want to date or be tied down, but they are extremely helpful and willing to help those who in turn want to help themselves. SD/SB arrangements are great! I just hate it when there are women who make it seem like we are all manipulative, materialistic divas. I have never asked anyone for more than I earn. It just feels wrong to me.

  605. Tina says:

    @ Tia B.: I’ve had a similar situation IRL where I earned more than my significant other, and have had some interesting issues with that too. Hence looking at the sugar lifestyle at the moment, as opposed to IRL dating at this point in my life. Well, it’s ONE of the reasons.

  606. Tia B. says:

    @DaddyGT & @Tina- This is great! I was starting to think I was crazy that I believe in hard work first! I don’t think people should get themselves into a situation that if circumstances of such situations changes, that you wouldn’t be able to get by on your own. SD earn there money fair and square, and just like the rest of the working population, they want their money to go towards something worth while. I have been in situations where I have earned more money than my the other person and have been manipulated out of a lot of money. I felt scammed. Who wants to feel that way? All it does it twist peoples views on others, and that can give people unfair chances before they have the opportunity to prove themselves. I believe that a SD & SB relationship is a give and take for both people. I tend to befriend the SD that I have had, and am still friends with them. I also belive that they should be faithful unless otherwised determined. SB shouldn’t just take, and SD shouldn’t be throwig around their money to please there woman with a ridiculous amount of material things. Help them where they need it, and you will be helped in return.

  607. DaddyGT says:

    A wife can, and often does cost more than a SB.

    But, if your spouse leaving loses you half your assets though, you were a schmuck from the beginning and almost deserve the loss.

    But that’s not really what we are discussing on the Seeking Arrangement blogs though, is it?

  608. Tina says:

    @Daddy GT: Awww, shucks 🙂 I’m used to being on the “outs” since I’ve already voiced my opinion that I won’t accept a married SD…….I’m such a rebel 🙂

  609. DaddyGT says:

    You rock.

    I’ve been on both ends of the financial spectrum too. And when the chips are down, you man up and get on with the next plan.

    But around here, it is incredibly unfashionable to voice opinions that contradict the stereotype that “sugar daddies *must* be as generous with their SB as they can, providing her with the lifestyle that she wants to get accustomed to, starting at a minimum of $5k per month”.

    Worse, this is often followed by an assertion that if you can’t afford to be paying this arbitrary minimum, no questions asked, you should not be on SA, wasting pot SBs very valuable time. Haha.

  610. Christiana says:

    A wife can cost a lot more than SB and she can take half when they separate.

  611. Tina says:

    @Daddy GT: I agree with you opinion regarding those that condescend to a $60K earning; I used to earn more than that, but now earn quite a bit less due to economic conditions in my area. However, I am able to “TCB” in my own life, and find it quite insulting when others state that they *MUST* have a certain allowance just to survive. I understand that times are tough, but I’m of the mindset that I will take care of my own needs through hard work – as much as needed. The sugar lifestyle will NEVER be something that I have to be involved in to survive.

  612. DaddyGT says:

    Thank you for the ‘welcome back’. Got involved with a new project/business that I am getting off the ground, and it has kept me incredibly busy. I’ve been working nonstop for the last couple of months. Thought that I should at the very least take April fool’s day off to rest a bit though, so am here again.

  613. DaddyGT says:

    ##Why wouldn’t a SD want to treat his sugar baby the best he can? This simply baffles me.

    Hahaha. Why wouldn’t a SB want to be as undemanding as she can be with her SD? This simply baffles me too. Unless the ‘relationship’ is all about how much *she* can get out of it. But that’s another story altogether.

    ##Also I almost chocked reading about the guy that’s comparing minimum wage in his state with sugar baby allowances. Is that what sugar babies really mean to the men here?

    Heh! I wrote about this a while ago. My ‘limit’ for the allowance I am prepared to consistently give my SB, is about what the receptionist in my office makes.

    I have many reasons for this.

    * Sugar should be play money for the SD
    I never want to spend more in the sugar bowl than I am prepared to lose without having any hangups about it. Spending a whole lot more than this quickly heads to the territory where I start being more judgemental and hung up about whether I am getting value for money … etc etc. Basically, play money levels keeps it simple, light, and very NSA in all respects.

    * Sugar should be play money for the SB
    I’ll get flamed for this, but what the heck. Ladies, if you depend on sugar to survive, there is a problem. If you cannot walk away from a sugar relationship because you need the money, there is a problem. If your financial obligations are so high that getting cut off from sugar would ruin you, there is a problem. In short, don’t get into sugar dating for money that you need to survive.

    I have, and will continue to refuse to sugar date anyone that would end up dependent on my allowance for their livelihood. I don’t need the responsibility, and the associated drama that can ensue from that.

    * My take on Sugar dating
    I am single and young enough, to be able to not have any distinctions between any sugar dating and any IRL dating I have done. Personally, I like to think that my sugar allowance frees up some time for you. And ideally, you *choose* to spend that time with me. The alternative of course is that she could be spending that time in a second job, or working nights at a local eatery, or somesuch. So, I free up some time for her. And she chooses to spend that time with me.

    That said, if my receptionist can get on with her life on her income, so can the SB. If she wants more, she must do it the old fashioned way. Work (or set up a business) her way into a higher income, or marry money.

    I doubt that my value system would synch with any woman who thought $60k was an unlivable income. That is insulting to half the working adults who get on with their lives on less.

    So for me personally, a SB who
    – chooses to have a lifestyle with $3k a month beauty budgets,
    – but cannot afford that out of her own earnings,
    – and has the temerity to call $3k per month allowance chump change
    – and insults guys who are offering even $1k of their hard earned per month (plus expenses)
    clearly has problems.

    We would definitely not be compatible.

    That’s why what the receptionist downstairs is earning, serves as a really great proxy for what (for me) makes sense as an allowance for a SB.

  614. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: feel free to visit Texas before the 5.6mil mark, of course 🙂

    @Daddy GT: good to see you back! And I’m fighting my itchy numbers streak at the moment – hence staying away from that topic as much as I can. Averages are meaningless, especially with all of the factors that need to be considered (living expenses, debt, cash versus gifts / entertainment, travel, lifestyle choices. etc. etc. etc.)

  615. DaddyGT says:

    I read the blog post and thought, rubbish. I have a numbers fetish, and have worked long enough with $$ to spot numbers that don’t really add up. For so many reasons.

    As many have pointed out, ‘average’ is a pretty meaningless figure, without stating at the very least the standard deviation. But I won’t get into numbers here.

    Ladies, the SDs are paying you out of post tax income. $60k a year, at the top tax bracket in some jurisdictions, is north of $100k pre tax income.

    What then does your SD have to be making to afford that sort of allowance. That is before the cost of all the other entertaining, shopping and stuff, which also adds up very quickly.

    Sure, there are guys who can afford that. But there are very few of them. You are looking at 0.01% of the population maybe. Now, not all the guys who can afford this are looking for a SB. Or are looking for a SB at the same time that you are looking for a SD.

    The very short version is.
    * The sugar deck is already stacked against SB. There are far more women looking for a SD, than there are men looking for a SB.
    * The number of potential men drops exponentially, as your allowance demands increase.
    * The amount of competition for these men increases exponentially once their ‘allowance capabilities’ are established.

    Be picky. Get the best deal you can. But be very very wary of pricing yourself out of the market.

  616. Christiana says:

    Just my comment, I wouldn’t sell myself for a miserly 22K a year or anything like it, to compare what a SB is expected to do to a lowly paid full time job is not right as the two are poles apart.

  617. PhoneGuy says:

    Brandon, can you hire dorkyguy to write an Android App for Seeking Arrangements? 😀

    Tina, Will do, honey.

  618. Anna Molly says:

    Ohhhh… 🙂

  619. PhoneGuy says:

    @Anna Molly, no, I’m from Michigan.

    @DianaSB, it’s interesting the range of what SDs offers and what SBs request on the blog and on the site in general. I don’t think frank was trying to insult anyone and I don’t know why he brought up minimum wage since he ended up comparing his SB allowance to a 22k a year job. This is much more than minimum wage. His intent, I believe, was to show why an SB would be willing to accept less than the average allowance stated in the blog. Another reason not to mention this in the same sentence with minimum wage is the number of hours worked. This isn’t 160-200 hours a month for that 22k. The SB’s “hourly wage” is far, far above this. And they are free to negotiate whatever amount they wish or require. No one is being forced into servitude on this site.

    As far as “is that what sugar babies really mean to the men here”, I can’t answer that. Maybe that is all the person can afford. Maybe he can afford more but chooses to make the best deal he can. Maybe that’s what they girl asked for and he gave her what she wished. I wouldn’t get too worked up about arrangements other people make. Make whatever arrangement suits you and be happy with it.

  620. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: when you hit that 5.6 mil mark, come on down to Texas – I’ll make sure you don’t feel like an underling…..unless you want to 😉

  621. DianaSBinOC says:


    PotSD 1: He’s not an SD. He’s really looking for a younger lady to date. If you have on your profile that you’re looking for an allowance, he’s ignored what you want and instead is pushing for what he wants. You can wait around and waste more time with him but he’s not an SD. This specific post shows why many new sugar babies are being taken for a ride. If this guy can have sex for free at the age of 55 with a lady in her 20s why wouldn’t he? This is why many of the fakes are on this site to begin with and also why Brandon put this post up as well. He’s trying to get the bad apples off the site so he can continue to keep sb’s logging in to meet Real SD’s. I would suggest stopping all communication with this guy immediately for he soon will become angry when it’s not evolving into a dinner for sex relationship. This guy cannot be pushed. He’s 55 and is old enough to know what he wants. You’re not going to persuade him into giving you anything because he never had any intention to do that from the beginning. You are not the first new sb he’s done this too and you certainly will not be the last.

    PotSD 2: If he’s lying about that much of an age gap, then he’s nicely telling you he’s lying about much more. I wouldn’t even continue speaking with the 66year old that is pretending to be in his early 40s. You would do best to talk to someone else then waste time with liars.

    What you have come across is clever old men that know how to prey on young women. Fake Pot 1 is getting to date you like a man your own age. How smart of him to not be clear about what he will give yet still getting the benefit of your full attention. Hopefully he’s not pushing for sex yet which I’m pretty sure will come up very soon. Many of the men on the site know what being a sugar daddy is all about, but if they can get around the allowance part , many women would be none the wiser until it’s far too late.

    Thank You Brandon for posting this blog.

    I’m shocked to see the outcry some so many SD’s that claim to really treat their SB’s so well. Are the stats so far off from what you give? Or is it really that you want a sugar baby to accept less. If a sb felt that if she stays with a younger man that she would get a better allowance then the cheaper old married men would probably have to up their amounts. Is this what the guys here are so afraid of? I couldn’t believe I read “arming sugarbabies” as if this is some sort of war.

    Why wouldn’t a SD want to treat his sugar baby the best he can? This simply baffles me.

    Also I almost chocked reading about the guy that’s comparing minimum wage in his state with sugar baby allowances. Is that what sugar babies really mean to the men here?

  622. Anna Molly says:

    PhoneGuy – Are you in NY too?

  623. Sssdaddy says:

    @Gothicgds… good suggestion about a forum. A useful search engine and moderated forum would help this site a lot, and make Brandon more money. 🙂

    Interesting how different people look at a group of self-reported statistics. Certainly I’d expect to see aggregated data from a site like this using it to promote itself, but it shouldn’t be such a seeming surprise to some folks that an “average” is pretty useless. It’s like putting 4 people making 250k and one guy making 24m in the same room and stating an “average” income of $5million per person in the room. It’s both misleading and useless.

    Some people can’t imagine paying more than $2400 a month. I can’t imagine paying less than 10k a month for what I want. We have different resources and different desires. Averaging the two isn’t very helpful, but it isn’t harmful either. Information like percentages are interesting to people who like to make the best decisions they can, but they can cause sloppier people to assume all sorts of wrong assumptions.

    Anything that helps the serious people on this site, and doesn’t help the fakes sounds like a good idea to me.

  624. Caligirl says:

    Interesting stats! Im in the SF area and it does seem like we have a large pool of SDs. While the financial side tends to be kept private, I wonder if people might share specific details of arrangements (monthly allowance, ect.) in an anonymous poll or survey…

  625. Sassy says:

    Yay my Boston is #2 🙂 that has to be a good sign, right?

    @Anna Molly- i loved that movie too. the book was grt too, best out of the series. but you pretty much got it all on the film. only part i wish they had included more of was Erica’s open marriage. given my situation, i found that aspect interesting

  626. PhoneGuy says:

    I’ve come to terms with the fact that when I get to 5.6 million I will be but an underling in the New York community. My stomach is settled. 😉

  627. Anna Molly says:

    Hey LASB! How are ya?! 😀

    Jeff_nc ~ That was some profile!

    I hope everyone is having a great weekend so far! I started off my weekend by watching The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Great movie! A must see if you haven’t done so already! 😀
    I’m sure the book was better. I don’t read often enough, I’m such a naughty girl. 😉

  628. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: I’m glad to hear the upset stomach issue isn’t a chronic plague 😉

  629. Late Bloomer SB says:

    Thanks flyr and PhoneGuy….I try to be forgiving enough of small discrepancies. I am maybe 80% sure I have the right information so I’m not jumping to judgement. I will have to see if he has a father by the same name.

    I’ve seen a lot of guys stating their age accurately but showing pics from 20 years ago. I just know based on his unique situation and his current city of residence, my research seems to add up but I’ll look into it some more. We haven’t even met, so who’s to say we ever will.

  630. PhoneGuy says:

    Are you sure your research isn’t confusing him with his father? Who really thinks they can pull off a 20 year discrepancy. I would ask him about it.

  631. flyr says:

    Late Bloom SB

    I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

    I put it on par with a SB who lists herself as a student but is not going to school at the time. She aspires to be a student and that’s her vision. I’m fine with that as long as she has the intellect.

    With a little greater age gap you may find more appreciation for you in financial and other terms.

    Better to be a gentleman’s princess than a young man’s doormat.

  632. Late Bloomer SB says:

    in a reliable way

    2) Gave me his real name and his reason for being in town on a regular basis. However, his profile states he is 43 but he is really mid-60s. Not sure at what point this will come out, we haven’t met yet. He is very nice and seems to be respectful and know what suar dating is about.

    Thoughts? Should I be forgiving of the age issue? Should I push #1 to be more concrete in what he provides?

  633. Late Bloomer SB says:

    Hi Blog! I think all of you have a great rapport concerning sugar issues so I thought I’d throw in a couple of questions for anyone who’d like to take a stab at it.

    I am in a pretty good city according to the list in this blog. I am just getting started, though I’ve been involved in this lifestyle before. I have 2 pots I think are decent and come off sincere (I screen heavily) but they each have a major issue.

    1) Divorced, early 50s, very gentlemanly. Was honest about checking up on a few other connections. Respects boundaries and is kind. The bad news: Does not want to provide a set monthly amount. Feels the dates and occasionally asking if the SB needs help constitutes being an SD. I state very clearly that I am looking for a monthly compensation. He wants a pretty involved relationship but does not want to provide

  634. IjustwantaSD says:

    @ jeff_nc


  635. PhoneGuy says:

    And thanks Tina, I’m feeling better already. 🙂

  636. PhoneGuy says:

    @jeff_nc, my fav is still the girl who lists “coloring” as one of her hobbies. As soon as I read it I wondered how long until Chris Hanson strolls into my room, “Can you have a seat PhoneGuy, please have a seat.” 😉

    And as the Guru says, don’t let their problems become your problems.

  637. Tina says:

    @jeff_nc: wow…………….

  638. jeff_nc says:

    I ran across a profile that I just *had* to share. Ladies, if your profile looks like this, it might be the reason you are not getting many offers.


  639. IjustwantaSD says:

    LOL I’m so sorry I turned this post into “just wanting an SD”. Thanks so much Tina, I really appreciate 🙂

    Off to reading so I can get me a SD LOL

  640. Tina says:

    @IjustwantaSD: “pot” = potential; “P4P” = pay for play, aka money per date. As far as looking, you’ll have to initiate with SDs to show that you’re interested in them as well. There are many more SBs than SDs on this site, so you will have to approach them and not wait for them to approach you. And yes, you’ll need to have a picture of your face as well as some sort of full body shot so that they can get an idea of what you look like. Check out the blog topics up top for a lot of good advice when getting started – they’re worth the read!

  641. IjustwantaSD says:

    Oooppps that is suppose to say wrong or ***RIGHT*** not write.

    @Christina, thanks. Let me just clear up that, I signed up in 2010 but I recently just started looking (within the last month). I stopped frequenting when I wasn’t getting anyone upon signing up back then. I get messages here and there but nothing beyond emailing. No my profile does not state I am tied up with school, yes it a college. As for pics, my pretty face is hidden, maybe it’s a turn-off? The profile has about 200 views and not 1 SD has come out of that. I admit I wasn’t logging on for a long while, but now I do just about daily.

    Should I be contacting them instead? BTW, what’s a “pot” and “P4P”. I want to understand this thing lol. Maybe I d need to change my pic but I do not want my face shown. Do you think that’s what the issue is?

  642. Christiana says:

    IjustwantaSD well I am new to this too and have been swamped by SD’s and have made an agreement with one. However I do live in Australia and this is pretty new to here I think. It is difficult to understand why you haven’t been “picked up” so to speak. Maybe change your pics and when you say “school” do you mean College/university? Unsure what your profile says but if a SD sees you are tied up a lot with school they may be retisent to approach and of course depends on your availability in your profile, or maybe it is the location. someone closer would know much more about that than I. However I do wish you all the best….

  643. IjustwantaSD says:

    @flyr thanks

    @Christiana I am petite with caramel complexion (pretty). Single girl, in school full-time and I live in the DC area. I signed up for this site over a year ago but I haven’t really been looking until recently and I am not finding anyone. BTW, I am an inexperienced SB (never done this before) and I am not sure what I am doing wrong (or write). Maybe I need to be patient. HELP!!!

  644. AnnaMW says:

    @ flyer – I didn’t mean to make it seem like I’m some Barbie Doll! I barely wear make-up, have a very natural look and it takes me no more than 30 minutes to get ready to go out. As I said before, guys notice the finished product, not that I’ve been waxed, highlighted, lasered and tortured at the gym.

    I actually don’t get the “barbie doll” thing. I’m friends with a fellow SB who takes two hours to get ready and won’t leave the house without fake hair and eyelashes. I love her to death and think she’s beautiful, but I don’t know how she finds the time.

    There are some women who are radiant without any modifications at all. Chances are she would be even more beautiful if she waxed her eyebrows, spent some time on her hair, got a little botox and slapped on some mascara. The difference might be subtle, but it’s there, believe me.

  645. ChicagoDaddy says:

    I am married. My wife and I are in an open marriage. I tell her everything. She tells me everything. We have a fabulous sex life. Others add to the fun. She has the life sugar babies dream about. No accident. She was a sugar baby herself before I married her, although I did not know that at the time.

    But your question was, “I don’t see why a single woman would see a married man with no financial benefit to her.”

    The crass answer. Because money calculations are a function of the forebrain. Sex is a function of the hindbrain. Two glasses of wine and the forebrain checks out.

    The cerebral answer. Because she wants to live up to the mental picture she has of herself, just as you want to live up to the mental picture you have of yourself. We all want to “walk our talk”. She does not want an ordinary guy. She wants a guy that makes other girls turn their heads. Wow, how did she land him? Chances are that guy is married, because in the stampede to get him some other woman got there first.

    The competition between women is fierce – far, far greater than between men. Which sex spends two hours and beaucoup bucks to look good for a date? Women understand this. Men are generally clueless.

    So, if a woman is single, and she discovers a married guy that has it all (which can be restated as desirable by other women), she will reconcile the cognitive dissonance between “he’s married” and “he’s sexy” with two glasses of wine.


    You are saying you have good taste in men. I applaud.

    As to why I am here, well, it is a matter of circumstance. Best to explain this in the baldest terms. My wife and I have been in the lifestyle (aka swingers) for seven years. I have all the married women I could possibly want. I live a life few people could image. Our friends are highly educated, successful, and open minded. Last May I moved my business to the Chicago Loop. The commute is a killer. I decided to spend two nights a week downtown. It evolved from there. I tell the sugar babies I meet (1) I am a womanizer (2) my wife knows everything (3) whatever your shit is, it is okay with me (4) how would you like to… fill in the blank. It is their call, not mine. I take them to lunch. They think about it. If they are interested, they let me know.

  646. flyr says:

    i juswannaSD

    Perhaps there should be a critique “my profile” for both

    If you go back to the Polling and Empowered comments there are some good suggestions. 99% of the time the problem is in the presentation not the product. But it’s not easy. Both SD and SB report spending months finding the right one.


  647. flyr says:

    Anna “. I spend at least $600 a month (if not more) on these things, not including clothing. Men don’t have much of an concept for the time and effort spent, but can certainly appreciate the finished product. ”

    I know a lot of men love that look, but a lot of us appreciate a fresh scrubbed look over the more intensive look. It’s a matter of taste. I mention this because women who can not or choose not to spend that much are also precious.

    My only general suggestion is to be yourself.

  648. Gothicgds says:

    Question: Are there any SA discussion boards other than the comments on these blogs? I think it would be fun and useful to be able to talk with other SBs with similar interests, like for example: I make my own soaps, bath salts, and other beauty products and I’m curious if or how that sort of thing could factor into the SB lifestyle like the beauty school courses Euphoria mentioned.

  649. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: now that LASB has made you sick to your stomach, need me to come nurse you back to health? (Just kidding LASB 🙂 )

  650. Christiana says:

    @IjustwantaSD where are you, tell us about you (what you feel comfortable with), there may be someone who can help you

  651. IjustwantaSD says:

    I do not understand why I haven’t met anyone. Ladies what’s the secret to landing one?

  652. AnnaMW says:

    @ ChicagoDaddy – You made some very interesting points. The situations you describe with your girlfriends sound like normal dating relationships to me. If there is an income discrepancy, the higher earner usually picks up the tab. I have dated very wealthy men in RL who are not Sugar Daddies. When I pitch in or contribute in any way, they have been astounded. The predetermined conditions and negotiated terms are what make arrangements appealing. The $$ is what keeps those boundaries in place for both parties. In the absence of those things is it really an arrangement?

    I don’t know that all women who independently meet their “comfort threshold” expect less, if anything they are more aware of their value to men who appreciate their type. I am very successful but prefer arrangements for many reasons. If all I need is some stud to make me feel vibrant and beautiful, I could walk to the corner store. The thing is that while I enjoy simple relationships, I don’t enjoy random encounters or dating self proclaimed womanizers.

    NONE of the SDs i’ve been involved with have been desperate as you implied. They’ve been practical, hard working guys who wanted to get the most out of their free time but didn’t have room in their lives for drama or strings. The more kind and generous they are with me, the more kind and generous I am in return. It’s really quite lovely when it works out, and it’s hard not to be really attracted to a man who treats you that well.

    It’s great that you don’t “have” to have to give money to the girls you meet here because of your ability to make them “feel like a woman”, but it makes me wonder why you would choose to meet women on a site designed to facilitate financial arrangements as opposed to the Peninsula Hotel bar.