7 years ago
Don’t Get Cheated On: 5 Ways to Keep Your Sugar Sweet
  • Posted Jul 31, 2012


There are many benefits to a Sugar Daddy and Sugar Baby relationship. Unlike traditional relationships, which can fizzle out and go sour overnight, the adventurous and ever-changing nature of a Sugar relationship tends to have a later expiration date.

Take the traditional relationship gone sour of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. Sure, Rupert Sanders (Director of Snow White and the Huntsman) may not be your quintessential Sugar Daddy. He may also not be the wealthiest of directors, but his position of power, seniority, and mentorship to Kirsten Stewart are a tell-tale sign of a Sugar Daddy. Many would kill to have the sulky Robert Pattinson’s claws on them, but quite frankly, I’m disappointed. He committed the cardinal sin of allowing the sugar in his relationship to go stale then sour, eventually lost out to a Sugar Daddy. Maybe Rob can take note on 5 Ways to Keep Your Sugar Sweet:

1.) Just Do It

Sugar Daddies and Babies love getting pampered at the spa. Take the next step and do-it-yourself. Instead of sending your sugar to the well-trained hands of a masseuse, buy an exotic massage oil and put up the do not disturb sign. Not only can you satisfy both your fantasies (happy ending anyone?), but the next time your sugar thinks of getting a massage, they’ll remember how much hotter it was from you.

2.) Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend

Marilyn Monroe, perhaps the most notorious Sugar Baby of our time, got it right. You know what else sparkles that your sugar loves? Surprises. You may not be popping the question, but even the humblest of diamonds are magnified by presentation. Ditch the box and get creative with presentation.

3.) Have you ever?

When is the last time you heard about Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson doing something other than shooting a movie? It’s mundane. Stale, even. Take a hint from Christian Grey (Fifty Shades of Grey) and try something new the other hasn’t done before. Take turns creating “firsts” with one another. After all, no one forgets their first time.

4.) All is Fair in Love and War

Are you wondering why reports are flooding in from London about Olympians getting it on in between fantastic physical feats? It’s the testosterone. Studies show that a little competition goes a long way when it comes to sparking the libido. Sugar Babies, next time you’re out, challenge your Sugar Daddy to a friendly game of darts or pool. The friendly antagonizing will get the blood going. Save the flattery for later, once he has you pinned down…

5.) Come Fly With Me

Love and travel are synonymous. True, Stew-Pat were always traveling together, but for work. Sugar Daddies, I know, it’s a tough feat to leave the old Blackberry and Mac powered down. But a little island vacation sans electronics will remind your Sugar Baby how much you enjoy her/his company. Not only do you receive instant gratification, but your sugar will become sweeter once your hands are on her—not the crack berry.

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How do you keep your arrangements both fresh and exciting?

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349 Responses to “Don’t Get Cheated On: 5 Ways to Keep Your Sugar Sweet”

  1. Daniela/Italianita says:

    Profile Number : 976738

    I am confident but am just now starting to figure out more about this site like being active on blogs, and what not. But as far as like what if the SD isnt verified should I not give him a chance? I am really looking for a true SD, SB relationship I feel idk how to be more forward, and without wasting either ones time I expect the SD to be a little more direct with what he wants. Also if within the second email he automatically gives u another email to “get to know each other” does any1 else find this fishy? I can’t imagine thats the norm here…

  2. Daniela says:

    Profile # 976738
    Hey all ! I’m NEW here. Just starting to figure this site out and realizing I can communicate in this community! 🙂 I read this article and am relieved to hear that it’s ok to speak up about what I want as I am kinda shy to. I expect if u are interested in me to NOT be shy and speak up as well. 🙂 I love to travel and what not and love surprises.. I agree with a lot of what is said here in this blog.
    Oh and if a SD isnt verified should I have guards up??

  3. -- says:

    Can someone tel me how I take it to the next step with SD im a confident out going woman, but on here I just feel shy

  4. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    To Phone guy
    “feel free to flame them all”

    I have no problem to flame anything at any time, THE problem is NOT to flame them all. :)))

  5. Simplicity says:

    It can take a while.

    Blog Gods—-can you please give my information to isabellebeauvais.

  6. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    It is such a good and fun quote!!:)))

    I have not read the stuff you mentioned.
    I was watching Australian series “Satisfaction” to see how can I improve my bed skills and lingerie collection.:) kidding.

  7. isabellebeauvais says:

    @ simplicity how long does it take the blog gods to exchange info..i still havent gotten your yet

  8. VASD says:

    Dear sugars,
    Hope everyone had a chance to read an obit of ‘Sex and the Single Girl’ and Cosmo Guru Helen Gurley Brown, especially the SBs. “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go EVERYWHERE.”

  9. Simplicity says:

    I’m game. School is starting back up for me soon, but I will see what I can do as soon as we know a date.

  10. zaynab says:

    i love this site like i love life itself but pls i am a Nigerian and i just logged into this sugar community and i dont know how to get started,how to get the SD’s…….pls can some one help?.love y’all

  11. Jack says:

    I’m up for a meet in northern NY, or otherwise. I’d be happy to kick in some cash into a kitty so that the hosts wouldn’t have to come out of pocket, and so that we could enjoy some nice accomodations and fun sports (rent a jetski/sailboat/powerboat/waterski’s?) for the time we are up there.

    Once the school year starts, I don’t have a lot of flexibility (have my girls every Thurs, and every other week, I have them Thurs thru Mon), but if I could make it, I would.


  12. Tina says:

    @Midwest: NUTS! Was working so I missed the dead horse request! (plus I have to play around to see how to add those fun things again since the blog has changed format slightly)

  13. Tina says:

    @Ms. Taken: thank you SO much for the well wishes on the interview! It was today, and I think I did quite well. We’ll see later this week / early next week if I am doing a second interview 🙂 I still have many body parts crossed! 🙂

  14. Simplicity says:

    Oh trust me I have noticed it is amazing.

  15. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Simplicity – Whatever one’s heart desires it can be found there 😉

  16. Simplicity says:

    Blog gods can you exchange my info with isabellebeauvais please.

    BEB I love that site!!! thank you so much for letting me know about it/

  17. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @phone guy – my point ‘zactly 🙂

  18. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Ummmmm….I’m afraid I agree with you IB lol…yikes!!!

  19. isabellebeauvais says:

    i just came across this guys profile and just had to share this..this “sugar daddy” is taking the **** when i say there are some BS’ers on SA i wasnt joking

  20. SteamRedSugar says:

    Hello everybody. Wow the blog has had quite a makeover.
    I “see” alot of new faces….smile and hugs
    I do like the new post
    Any veterans around

  21. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @VASD – Sound like plans have been made for you to consider 🙂

    The age difference between my PT SD and me is 25 years. He is wonderful also. He’s driving a Tahoe up to me as we speak. *squeals* …and designing a home in our local ‘Nantucket’. I adore him and we both feel like we lucked on on SA.

  22. VASD says:

    @VASD has a place up near Lake Placid…alas, no plans to be there for the rest of the summer.

    Thank you, isabellebeauvais.

  23. Nawty Molly says:

    During a week is totaly possible! It’s hard for me to get away!

  24. Nawty Molly says:

    BEB ~ The age difference is 30 years. He is 67 and I’m 37. He is just like me. :D!!

    SD is so relaxed. it isn’t even funny. He does have one friend who is a widower, but, he
    s kinda shy. He has expressed interest in the SD/SB relationship, but. I think he is still in the “I’m not sure Fase” 🙂

  25. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Nawty Molly – Can I ask the age difference between you and your SD 🙂

  26. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Nawty Molly – Does your SD have any likeminded male friends? Invite them to the lake also.

    It could be an informal meet and greet … and no press 😉

    Love to put faces to names of the blogging SDs also! Let’s do it!!! It just has to be on a week I don’t have my children.

    We could be sitting pretty on a lake while in LA they will be sitting on a rooftop trying to hide from the press. We will be skinny dipping while they are dipping crudite. haha

  27. isabellebeauvais says:

    @simplicity I’ve read the blogs and your comments often(lol i sound like a stalker) and I find your comments facinating…anyhooo if your still looking for a subSB perhaps we could exchange emails..

  28. isabellebeauvais says:

    @VASD @travelersb on behalf of myself and probably other new sb’s..thank you so much for you advice and tip and ive got to say your right,having goals and sticking to my gut insticts will serve me well but im struggling with the patience to wait for a real SD and not a BS’er.

    @hotsb I like your advice as well but i think you might have miss understood VASD, he isnt campaigning for money for sex.I think he simply means to say that sb should have realistic expectations.personal for me sex with a SD is not an issue but there mst be chemistry,respect and the passion to want to not because im obligated to because he is offering money/sugar, like you said that would be the defination of prostitution.

  29. Nawty Molly says:

    Blog Gods ~ Can you please share my email with TravelerSB and Simplicity?!? You can also share with any SB or SD who wishes….

    Nawty/Anna Molly 😀

  30. Nawty Molly says:

    Yay! A sugar meet up in the Lake George area! 😀

  31. Nawty Molly says:

    My SD is really something special. I don’t think you find something like what we have together everyday. 😀

  32. Nawty Molly says:

    I’ve also met the Secretay of State, famous authors, among others…it’s almost surreal! I sometimes think that I’m not worthy, but, it’s interesting. I sometimes feel uncomfortable, but, he is always there. He is a great guy…I love him! 😀

  33. Nawty Molly says:

    I think it would be great! SD’s/SB’s…grilling out, having fun on the lake…what more could you ask for!! 😀

    BEB ~ Like I’ve said before…NYC is great! Lot’s of great restaurants, shopping and night life! SD and I went to 2 major galas in NYC. One was at the Cloisters, which is a part of the MMOA over the holiday season. He’s a member there and we had a great time! Black tie, he bought me a St. Johns gown to wear which was over 1100 dollars, just for the dress! I’ve never bought anything that expensive…ever!! We danced to Frank Sinatra, had amazing food, cocktails and wine. It was a great night. We also went to a James Beard Gala featuring one of my favorite chefs, Mario Batali. I met him and he is so funny, but, a little on the strange side. We dressed up, had amaizing wine, got a little drunk….had some fun afterward…lol. We even won some of the auction items! 😀

    I’m not a big city fan, I grew up on a farm so the city, for me, is nice to visit, but, I wouldn’t want to live there. SD has a horse farm, but, he is retired from a MAJOR company. We’re talking about getting a house on Nantucket together and really trying hard to make things work. Not just as a SB/SD, but, something more than that. He’s great and I’m glad to have found him! He has purchased a new car for me and really is there whenever I need him….he’s a great guy. I know he would LOVE to meet my sugar family so I hope we can work something out! Lake George, Here we come! God help us…LOL!!! 😀

  34. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    I just spend a week on a secluded lake in Maine. It is truly beautiful. Put me on the guest list for cabin in upstate NY. I’ve never been to NYC!!! I know, I know….where have I been all my life. We can talk about that in the cabin.

  35. travelersb says:

    me I’m up to come in North NY whenever!

  36. Nawty Molly says:

    I’ll leave the mobile dungeon at home…LOL!! 😀

  37. Nawty Molly says:

    I want to rent a cabin and have all of my sugar friends up for a visit! 😀

  38. Nawty Molly says:

    Oooo, looking for a subSB! Interesting… 😀

    I may enjoy being in my dungeon, but, being a sub is fun too! Good luck in your search!

  39. Nawty Molly says:

    Midwest ~ When I saw the “Naked Cowboy” he was so busy signing autographs he didn’t have time to really perform. :p

    Morning Sugars! I hope all is well! 😀

    Simplicity ~ Upstate is AMAZING!! It’s so beautiful up here! I’m not far from the Adirondack State Park…one of, if not the, largest state parks in the US! Lake George isn’t far from me, maybe 5 to 10 minutes drive. We have a small Six Flags park, Fort William Henry and all kinds of stuff to do! Saratoga Raceway is just 15 minutes from me! You should come for a visit, lots of stuff to do! 😀

  40. travelersb says:

    just sent a message on the fetlife

  41. travelersb says:

    I did not receive anything

  42. Midwest SB says:


  43. Midwest SB says:

    Simplicity – I cc’d traveler. You should hear from her.

    Found it..I think!

  44. Simplicity says:

    Midwest I got the email but it only provided me with my own email addy

  45. Simplicity says:

    traveler– search Cherry1812 at place mentioned by BEB

  46. Midwest SB says:

    Nawty – I have a pic with the Naked Cowboy’s protege’ 🙂 It was very entertaining!

    Simplicity/ traveler – e-mails coming shortly.

    Hotsb – That topic has been beaten to death. I’m sure an intelligent lady such as yourself is well-versed on a variety of subjects. Please feel free to mix it up a little.

    Tina – Where’s that dead horse emoticon? 🙂

  47. Simplicity says:

    It’s going to take some time for that to get done.

  48. Simplicity says:

    Blog gods can you give travelersb my info please

  49. PhoneGuy says:

    @BEB, I haven’t read it but it wouldn’t surprise me. Who hasn’t been influenced by Shakespeare?!

    @ILWCG, You know I was quoting someone else, right? Cool. Feel free to flame them. 😉

  50. travelersb says:


  51. travelersb says:

    If you want, maube we could talk in private 😉

  52. Simplicity says:

    Yup I sure am. My most generous SubSD has decided to take care of me getting a SubSB.

  53. travelersb says:

    I am good thank you :)! did I hear you are looking for a third sub sb? 🙂

  54. Simplicity says:

    Hey traveler!!! how are you doing darling?

  55. travelersb says:

    Hi simplicity !

  56. sweetjezebel says:

    fetlife is great

  57. Ms. Taken says:

    @Tina – Good Luck tomorrow and “Knock their Socks Off”

  58. Simplicity says:

    I will do that. thanks for the tip.

  59. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @simplicity – check fetlife

  60. Simplicity says:

    I think the hard part will be finding a sub sb. I have been on the hunt for a few weeks but women do not like to be told what to do by other women lmao. I would give mine up for a guy who could hit on all targets.

  61. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Not as good as you apparently lol I have one ‘locked in’ and looking for one more. The one I have is fantastic!!! He’s wonderful and adores me. Good luck with the whale 🙂

  62. Simplicity says:

    sorry for the typos *are totally reliable

  63. Simplicity says:

    I have two arrangements that a totally reliable and locked in and one whale that I am working on I am on the hunt for a third in our arrangement she will join him in being sub it is a wonderful thing. LOL. School is paid for,books are paid for, and about 6k worth of new clothes this past weekend. I am in TN right now and heading back over to see the whale this upcoming weekend. He wants to take me car shopping and I’m thinking that my little b***h would like to get me a evoque. So how is your hunt going?

  64. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Simplicity – I’ve been very well thank you 🙂 How about you? Any luck ‘tying’ down a SD?

  65. Simplicity says:

    Lmao BEB!! How have you been lady?

  66. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Cripes, not again…..*yaaaaaawnnnnn*

  67. hotsb says:

    i made a mistake ealier it’s 3 times a monththat i want to meet someone.

  68. hotsb says:

    Obviously every relashionship is different, i never said that there was only one way to go,
    I’m just saying that if you have the exchange sex vs money , you’re not in a sd/sb relashionship anymore, and then i only give my personal opinion about the relashionship, like VASD was doing. So is he setting up rules? no, he’s just giving his opinion and i disagree with it so i decide to express mine because i have the right to do so.
    You can disagree if you want but don’t try to make it seem that i’m only saying that it should be my way, there are plenty of ways but this way( sex vs money) is not what this website is about.
    That’s all i’m saying.
    Other than that i agree with your points

    See we have a lot of things in common.

    And i understand the learning from your own mistake is great , but i think that learning from other people mistake is better and can help you a lot.
    I talked with i don’t know how many sbs who told me that the sds they met took advantage of them, if i can help other sbs to make sure it doesn’t happen to them, i’m gonna do it, even if VASD disagrees.

    hope you understand where i’m comming from.

  69. hotsb says:


    I said many times that i didn’t have a sugar daddy yet just because i want to meet someone 3 times a week and the pot sugar daddies i met wanted to see me many times a week or once a month.
    I could have had tons of them.


    @isabelle beauvais and all the newbie sbs

    If you guys want to listen to VASD who says that you will get money, shopping sprees ….IN EXCHANGE of sex, then go for it, if that’s what you really want. I just hope that you won’t feel bad afterwards, but i will have the right to call you girls prostitututes, i hope you won’t be mad at me for being honest and tell it like it is.
    If you’re not ashamed of it and if you own it, it wouldn’t bother you.

    One thing i noticed on this blog is that so many SO CALLED SDS are trying to brainwash the newbies sbs into thinking that they need to sleep which is false;

    Thank god i’m on this blog to set the record straight and to give real advice to people, because i don’t know anyone personnaly, but i do care about the sugar family, and i don’t want anything bad happening to anyone, even the ones who disagree with me;
    So girls please when you ask for advice only ask sbs because a lot of men on this blog try to change the real meaning of a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship into sex vs money.

    If you have any questions feel free to ask.

    The queen sb.

  70. travelersb says:

    To all new sbs who want advices!
    It seems like the advices giving on this blog are contradictory. I personnaly would not take for grant any advice that comes from someone who believes that there is only one right way (their own) to live your life. My advices would be

    1- TAKE THE TIME TO READ the tips and the posts on this blog. You can also browse the conversations on all the previous blogs. There are some very interesting tips in them and diffrents points of vue. You just have to find what suits you well. You don’t have to follows others rules. Just make your own personnal rules.

    2- Always respect yourself and trust your instinct.

    3- If you have specifics questions, you can ask the blog and I am sure that you will get thoughtful answers here.

    4- No matter what you do or who you listen to or not listen to, you will have your own experiences, do your own mistakes and learn by yourself.

    Good luck to all of you!

  71. hotsb says:

    @isabelle beauvais

    Please do not listen to VASD;
    Read my posts i wrote earlier, i give plenty of REAL advice.

  72. Simplicity says:

    I have never been to NY the city itself does not interest me much. What is upstate like?

  73. Nawty Molly says:

    I’m sorry…my post should have said The Plaza Hotel. I guess my phone has a mind of it own!!

  74. Nawty Molly says:

    Upstate Ny…Albany area. 🙂

  75. Simplicity says:

    Molly where are you from?

  76. VASD says:

    @isabellebeauvais, @girly girl and other new SBs here. As on the front page of the SA site, SBs should be goal oriented. Know what you want and what you can reasonably expect from an SD (be it cash, gifts, other goodies, experiences, restaurants, travel, relatinship/sex) and what you are reasonably willing to offer towards what he wants. Despite what un-named others here may believe, yes, Virginia, there is some exchange going on–frankly, the way of the world. ‘I want $20k to meet once a month and strictly no sex’ probably isn’t going to fly with many pot SDs. This doesn’t mean it’s all about the exchange or, even if the exchange is straight forward and up front, it can’t be REALLY fun for all involved. I’m sure there are a few super-rich/super-generous SDs on here (aka ‘Whales’), but they are probably few and far between. I’m also sure there are lots of perfectly nice guys who can give you a fun and rewarding experience in the $1k-$3k range.
    And, yes, I’m quite sure there are plenty of BSers on here. despite butterflies, make sure whatever you do passes your gut check. Be true to yourself–don’t do anything you feel up front you may regret later. I’d sure others here will have plenty more to offer, but if a guy sounds too good to be true, he probably is. If he doesn’t immediately live up to who he said he was, dump him. BE SAFE! First meeting(s) in neutral public places within reasonably easy reach of you.
    Blogo-friends, feel free to rip me up or pitch in.

  77. Nawty Molly says:

    Not to mention the Saratoga Race Way…(SDinLA)! I want the lunch you promised me!! 😀

  78. Nawty Molly says:

    I want people to come visit me! It’s not like I live in a toatal crap hole! LOL!

    We have a fantastic lake, cabins to be rented and a bunch of stuff to do!

    Sugar meet up anyone??? 😀

  79. Nawty Molly says:

    Sorry for any typos! 😀

  80. Nawty Molly says:

    Oh! The Oak Room is located at the Palace…just an FYI! 😀

    I love the city! It’s so ALIVE! However, I wouldn’t want to live there….I like the serenity of my SD’s farm house. 🙂

    Love you darlin’! I miss you! Hope race week is going well. Sorry I was sick and gone for the last couple of weeks, but, I’m planning something really AMAZING on your return! 😉

    Nawty 😉

  81. Nawty Molly says:

    Chocolatebunny ~ I live in upstate NY, but, have been to NYC many times. Check out the 21 Club for a fantastic dinner and drinks. The Oak Room for a nightcap and you have to go to the MMOA and the Cloisters. For shopping you have to hit my fav 3; Sax 5th Ave., Bergdorf Goodman and Faconnable ( a small shop, but, IMHO, they have great stuff) !
    Sax is where the store manager came up to me and told me “You have to meet this designer”! They gave me free champagne and I modeled some of the disgners clothing! It was fun, but, in a weird, surreal kinda way. :D!

    Of course, you have to check out Time Square ( you might meet the naked cowboy ) LOL!! He’s famous ya know…not sure why??? Not to mention all the major landmarks; Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building and the 911 Memorial, but, go to the memorial only if you want to depress yourself.

    p.s. – Go to MIZU to get your hair done! It’s a fantastic place! And go to Obscura! It’s a really cool antique shop that deals in the weird..and well…obscure! LOVE IT! 😀

    If you’re a foodie like me, go to Open Table at the dot com. That site can be very helpful in finding great places to eat and you can book reservations through them. I can’t give you any recomendations on hotels as SD and I always stay at his social club…sorry. You could always go for the major ones…Waldorf Astoria, The Palace..the list goes on, but, I like the boutique hotels and for those types of places, I’m at a loss. 🙁

    I’m sure there has to be SOMEONE HERE who can give you some ideas on the “out of the way” places. I’m just not that person, but, I wish I was! 😀

    Enjoy your stay! I’m sure it will be a blast!

    Your friend,
    Nawty.. 😉

  82. girly girl says:

    Hi Everyone
    I am new to this community and am pretty overwhelmed but was told that I could come here and get advice on how all of this works. So where do I even start? Thank you to everyone in advance for your assistance! 😉

  83. Nawty Molly says:

    Hi Sugars! 😉

    I hope all is well with everyone! Just stopping by to say hello, I hope everyone’s week goes well! xxoo

  84. Chocolatebunny says:

    @Anna Molly, Hey Molly I remember you mentioning that you currently reside in NY. I’m here visiting and would like to know some places I should check out before I go. Ill gladly appreciate it =)

  85. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Phone Guy – I dare say hasn’t good old William influenced 50 Shades itself?

  86. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Phone guy.

    “I will bet that 50 Shades has “influenced” way more people, and in deeper ways, than all the much-better-written works of Shakespeare put together.”

    I was thinking if a 23 y old girl/SB would have written this sentence here- at least 10 SDs would have criticized, Mentored (LOL) and thought her life here. But stuff written by guys go as axiom.

    my fav one was “sensuality is absolute and beauty is relative “… Something. oh….mentors 🙂 they just Love to mentor 🙂

    Tina. Thank you for sharing your favs at A and E. 🙂

  87. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @isabellebeauvais – This site isn’t for the faint of heart….it takes time and patience. Put in your time and due diligence and you will find what you are looking for. Good luck 🙂 …one more things….ALWAYS trust your instincts.

  88. isabellebeauvais says:

    @VASD @BEB
    Thanks guys for your helpful comments..it difficult and sometimes frustrating for new SB trying to find the best arrangement from a real sugar daddy and not a BS’er.
    Ive read the tips from the blogs and on the right hand corner abd i keep trying to im prove my profile and messages but it doesnt see like it taking of the way i thought i would, i guess i can keep trying.
    nite nite everyone

  89. Tina says:

    Come on down Phone Guy! Well, you might want to wait a month at least, since it was 107 Thursday 🙂

  90. PhoneGuy says:

    I will bet that 50 Shades has “influenced” way more people, and in deeper ways, than all the much-better-written works of Shakespeare put together.
    I’ll take that bet.

    And thanks Tina. As you can see I’ve never been to Austin. Maybe someone should show me around there. 😉

  91. Tina says:

    Yeah, I can see where getting arrested would be a MAJOR mood killer 😉

  92. Nawty Molly says:

    You have to keep things exciting in the bedroom or wherever you might be. “PDA” is so much fun..you just have to be careful and not get arrested…LOL!! 😀

  93. Nawty Molly says:

    Thanks Tina!! 😀

  94. Tina says:

    @flyr: 50 shade DEFINITELY promotes a response, positive or negative! I think that’s why people are so interested in it, even if they supposedly usually don’t read that kind of literature 😉

  95. flyr says:

    Wow 50 shades certainly has Amazon bubbling . Reviews are clustered at the top and bottom of the scale 70% being either a one star or 5 star. almost 11,000 reviews.

  96. flyr says:


    tina and others

    Thanks much for the sage advice. 50 Shades has certainly kindled the fires of exploration among the female readers.

    I have forwarded a compilation of the comments.

    thanks again

  97. Tina says:

    @Anna Molly: I have to refine my previous statements: I want to be Midwest in public, and YOU in private when I grow up 😉

  98. Anna Molly says:

    I live ” fifty shades of grey” ! I don’t need a book…lol!!!

  99. Tina says:

    @Jack: MWAAAAAA! I love a good debate, especially one that ends with the two people agreeing 😉 And I didn’t take offense or take your comment personally re: 50 shades reviews, I just wanted to clarify my comment itself, because it could have been seen as elitist. 50 shades HAS opened up a lot of interesting conversations…..even my own mother is reading it (not that I really wanted to know that! 🙂 )

  100. Jack says:

    Tina, my comments re: critics of “50 Shades” weren’t directed at you–rather, they were directed at various reviews of the book who (I believe) focused on its lack of literary value and missed its amazing impact otherwise.

    Also, I’m not sure we even have to disagree re: Houston vs. Austin–I think both places have much to recommend them and you prefer the things that Austin offers more of. I live street artistry–listened to several of them on Atlantic Ave in Virginia Beach justlast night.

    Traveler, sounds like you are living up to your name and traveling to Houston–what will you be doing there? Maybe I should show you the sights if you have some free time!


  101. Tina says:

    To add to BEB’s great advice, if you are a new SB, do what fits your personality and style. There is a LOT of advice on this blog and in the other article posts, and a good deal of it is conflicting. You have to take a little time to experiment and find out what is right for you. Be patient, and DON’T EVER do something that makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable.

  102. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Been at a secluded lake in Maine listening to the loons for the past week.

    What stands out the most while catching up on the blog is Hotsb is the self-appointed “official queen sugar baby?” LOLOLOL

    Personally, all newbies, I wouldn’t take ANY (nada, zilch, zip, zero, rien) sugar dating advice from hotsb.

    My advice is read all blog posts and then all helpful articles on the right hand of the screen. After that, if you have a question, please ask. But it’s fairly obvious that some new SBs want help when they haven’t helped themselves. Only you know you the best. If you are not confident, take initiative and get educated by reading all the helpful posts and articles FIRST. Take the time. It will pay off. I promise.

  103. travelersb says:

    yay! I hope you’ll have that position. Good luck.
    My dream trip is to take some months off and a big budget and make a road trip across all the US. That would be crazy

  104. Tina says:

    @travelersb: I’m very white too, and I have to be careful in the Texas sun. One item on my bucket list is to visit every state in the U.S at least once as well as DC. If I get this position I have an interview for on Tuesday I get to start making those plans again 🙂

  105. travelersb says:

    thanks Tina. I like big citys and I like the heat. Only my skin doesn’t like to much the sun. I am very white. I will put sunscreen and I’ll be fine 🙂 I also like the country. I would like to visit San Antonio one day also, and Albuquerque in NM. Well, I want to visit pretty much every city of the US anyway lol.

  106. Tina says:

    @travelersb: you will have a BLAST in Houston! I’m not knocking the city in any way, just prefer Austin 🙂 For me, it’s all about the phrase “it’s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there”. Austin, Houston, San Antonio, Fredericksburg, DFW all have their wonderful qualities, and I’m sure you would enjoy any of them! (Although Jack’s pool this time of year and jacuzzi in the “winter” would give Houston a little leg up 😉 )

  107. Tina says:

    @Jack – We’ll just have to agree to disagree on the Austin/Houston debate 😉 I DO enjoy cultural events, and miss that Austin does not have a real zoo and more large museums, but I don’t lack for culture here. The beauty I’ve found in Austin is that I can turn a corner an find a local artist in the middle of a park, or someone painting on the corner. I wish that Austin did have more direct flights, but it doesn’t affect me right now since I don’t have the means to travel 🙁 I think most what I love is the size – I don’t enjoy living in the flow of a very large city. Being an introvert, the number of people and speed of a large city makes me itchy. If I could have 10 acres in the middle of the country I would be happy (which is one part of my master plan, btw).

    Saying that 50 shades is poorly written wasn’t meant to be elitist; it was meant to be more of a comment that you’re not missing out on a great piece of literature. People are reading it more out of curiosity than anything, but it is by far not introducing any new topic. Pick up any “romance” novel, and you’ll find some VERY interesting ideas. And guys, encourage your lady to read these novels – it is a nice little way for her to get herself in the mood. Some of these novels ARE well written, and can be a fun read with new concepts to try.

    Have a WONDERFUL vacation with the kiddies! A disclaimer: no comments made in this post were meant in an unkind way in any way, shape or form 🙂

    @ILoveWestCoastGirl: Hmmmm, my favorites at A and E? I think it depends on my mood. I LOVE their vibrator selection, and think that you have to be careful with the movie selection since many are JUST so cheesy. Their lotions and lubricants are amazing, and they have some fun handcuffs. I haven’t been introduced to the bondage side of things yet, so that I can’t comment on, but they have some VERY interesting toys that help enhance positions.

    But, since I’m innocent and have never really been on the website, what do I know? 😉

    @Nawty Molly: and how did I know that the talk of sex toys and bondage would bring an appearance from you? MWAAAAAAA!

  108. travelersb says:

    restrainsts? blindful? no, who would think of that??… I’m sure it’s just your imagination Nawty Molly. 😛

  109. travelersb says:

    good morning everybody! well… I know it’s afternoon already but it’s morning for me 😀

    a pool and a jacuzzi Jack? I didn’t know you have that. 😛 did you know I am visiting Houston soon ? 😉 It looks like I won’t be bored there

  110. Nawty Molly says:

    OOOO, did someone say blindfolds and restraints?!? 🙂

  111. Jack says:

    I’m on vacation with my little ones (Virginia Beach/Wash DC/Norfolk) so shorter-than-usual post, but

    To Flyr, re his married friends–I’m a bit over 1/2 way through “50 Shades” and regardless of the poor writing, allcritics should keep in mind that people write for one major reason (other than money), and that is to influence the reader. I will bet that 50 Shades has “influenced” way more people, and in deeper ways, than all the much-better-written works of Shakespeare put together. So it’s probably a bit elitist to dismiss 50 Shades so quickly. I think your married friend should read 50 Shades to begin with. Tina’s ideas (porn flick viewing together, limits on foreplay, etc) are ones I have used, including even stopping in the middle to go do something else for a few minutes at the height of the action, so to speak. The anticipation makes the return more intense.

    Having the woman model various lingerie is also a turnon, as does her doing a lapdance/striptease as if she is a stripper. If she is athletic enough to pole-dance, that opens up some VERY interesting possibilities. And these ideas can go the other way, as well, although I’m no pole dancer.

    My other ideas are probably not appropriate for this blog but they do include restraints, blindfolds, toys, etc! And Adam and Eve is a very good source–though last time I visited was years ago while I was married (actually, my ex discovered it, as I recall, to give credit where credit is due!)

    Tina, I do like Austin very much. Of course, since my apt complexes are in Houston, my livelihood is here. Having said that, Forbes just ranked Houston as the best city to live in the US, and Houston offers much more than Austin in terms of restaurants, sports activities (as spectator and as participant), we have two international airports, so access is much easier, we have Galveston and the gulf coast beaches very close, and is as diverse as Austin. I can see a community theatre production almost every day of the year, and Houston has an awesome Children’s Museum, art museum, museum of natural science, a great zoo with water parks, 2 great waterparks (we have a season’s pass to one of the two), plus we have race tracks, paintball galleries, etc. As the 4th largest city in the US, we have almost anything anybody would want to find.

    Plus a 30 minute drive can put you in rural areas, such as where a good friend of mine has her horse farm.

    The weather sucks several months per year, but I spend much time out of town in the summer, plus the pool in the backyard helps handle the heat. And the outdoor jacuzzi is great in the winter months.


  112. VASD says:

    @isabellebeauvais and @amy hotsb is very much not the queen of this site. Her views and (limited) experiences are valid for her but are but one view. There are plenty of others here, SDs and SBs alike, who can ALSO give their views to help you find a rewarding and enjoyable experience appropriate to you.

  113. Simplicity says:

    Flyer– I have read these after reading 50 shades and they put the senses on high alert.

    Bared to You by Sylvia Day

    The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by Anne Rice

    Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D.H. Lawrence

  114. HoustonSB says:

    I’m in Houston but i’ve got to say I love Austin so much more!

    Anyway, just wanted to share this with my fellow sugars: I was looking up ‘narcissistic’ and I found this profile 680828. At least he’s honest.

  115. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    GURU – it is so great you are celebrating 2 y together with you SB! you are an every SB a dream SD 🙂
    (oh… Wait … You are married and many SBs here find it is immoral to s. date a married guy). 🙂
    then at least you are my dream SD. 🙂

    Phone guy ….:) I do have a wish list at A and E too (blush) . why SA advertising chocolate and flowers, plush toys …. some not so plush TOYS are so good .

    Tina, what are your fav ones?:)

  116. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: errr, yeah, it’s on Mopac actually. We have 2 Twin Peaks and a few Hooters too, not to mention countless strip clubs for both men and women. And yes, I DO have a wishlist at A and E 😉

    • SD Guru says:

      Thanks for all the well wishes! After the celebration dinner we ended up strolling barefoot on the beach under the stars. I know, it’s such a cliché!! :mrgreen:

      “Can we know what is her secret to keep you that long?”

      That’s a very good question! Basically she’s everything I’d expect from a SB. NSA, drama free, low maintenance, got her life together, and fun to be with. The allowance is for “nice extras” and not necessities. That she’s gorgeous and great in bed doesn’t hurt either… 😉

      Which makes me wonder… why has she kept me this long?? 😛

  117. PhoneGuy says:

    Thanks to everyone for sharing your personal stories.

    @Tina, do you have a wantlist at A and E? 😉

    >Austin is SO much better than DFW and Houston
    Does Austin have a Bone Daddy’s? That’s what I thought. 😛

  118. Tina says:

    @flyr: I think it depends on what you’re into. I personally like to experiment together, so there aren’t nasty surprises, since that can ruin the mood for me very quickly. I like to share an intimate movie (yes, a good porn flick goes a long way) with someone which can give each other ideas (you can ask if someone likes what they see happening on the screen while it happens). It’s also a nice way to have an extended foreplay, as you can set boundaries as to what each can do (heavy petting over clothes, avoiding certain areas, all bets are off) while the, er, “movie” is playing.

    If I were your married friend, I wouldn’t worry too much about 50 shades. It’s poorly written, and the fetishes in the book are very easy to experiment with – just find a good adult toy store or online site (I personally prefer Adam and Eve dot com)

  119. flyr says:

    @ midwest

    yes, we all live on the Sugar Submarine . Thanks for your plea to keep it civil and positive.

  120. flyr says:


    One of my married friends commented that his wife and many of her friends are reading 50 Shades. He’s feeling a little lost

    If there were a couple of books you wish your BF, SD or spouse would read to meet your expanding desires, what top the list?

  121. Tina says:

    And did I mention that the queso is fat and gluten free? WHOOP!

  122. Tina says:

    @Midwest: Austin is SO much better than DFW and Houston 😉 (I’m waiting for Jack to hop on and disagree…….) I found this AMAZING queso today when grocery shopping that is made here in Austin…..yummo!

  123. Midwest SB says:

    Ms. Taken – I have been thinking about you soooooo much lately! How are you? Have you found your next sugar? We need to talk soon!

    Tina – Deal! Bet you didn’t know I spent 4 years in DFW 🙂 I love the area and would visit in a heartbeat!

    JustaThoughtSD – Thank you for understanding. I have to admit that it’s hard saying some things out loud, but our little group has a great way of sharing support and understanding. MWAH!

    To all….Thank you for the congratulations! It means a lot!

    Simplicity / chocolate bunny – Our goal is to be helpful and to share so that everyone succeeds. I’ve only been browsing but I see unnecessary jabs going on. It’s appreciate it greatly when people take the high road. Please find peace and enjoy our little neighborhood. (((hugs)))

  124. Tina says:

    @Content: live it up chicky-poo! 😀

  125. isabellebeauvais says:

    @travelersb nope, Ive only gotten £100 in cash from him.

    I really need some retail therapy to cheer me up lol
    they say diamonds,true..but my bestfriends are high heels.

  126. Chocolatebunny says:

    @ hotsb , Senegal and Tanzania ?
    Tanzanians and Sengelese females are long legged goddesses!! I always admired their beauty in Miss Universe pagents. Please , just don’t pay attention to her, it’s not worth it. Do you still live in France?

  127. travelersb says:

    @isabellebeauvais – does he give you money in gifts at least?

  128. isabellebeauvais says:

    @ hotsb
    can you give me tips on how you got shopping sprees..Ive only just entered an arrangement but my SD is very cheap lol
    He tried to get me in bed and was quite surprised at my stubborn resistance secretly (I think he liked it)
    also how to I mention i want gifts without offending..i quite new this.

  129. ContentSB says:

    @Guru — And, a very Happy Anniversary to you and your SB! Hope it’s extra sweet! 🙂

  130. ContentSB says:

    @Tina — Things are still going as well as they can with the dude 🙂 It’s perfect for right now…and when the expiration date finds us we’ll deal with it. Until then, not thinking about it lol. Good luck with the interview; I’m sure you’ll do great! You’ll have to let us know how it goes!

  131. Simplicity says:

    If you want me to be a “b” (as you call it). I truly can be… for example: being the self proclaimed “queen sugar baby” how come you have had no arrangements,only dates??? Are you p4p darling or in other words an escort?? If so I do believe you are on the wrong site…

  132. hotsb says:

    @chocolate bunny

    I’m from Tanzania and Senegal.
    Don’t pay attention to Simplicity, she’s trying to pick a fight, and it’s not going to work.
    She’s always boring on this blog, and she wants attention.
    Some girls are just jealous of other girls’ success; And it’s sad , why can’t we as women support one another instead of trying to throw jabs ?
    Anyway, i’m sure you’re cute, and kinder than this b…..

    talk to your friend Simplicity please and tell her she’s messing with the wrong one.

  133. Simplicity says:

    Hello Travelersb how have you been doing darling?

  134. travelersb says:


  135. Simplicity says:

    Bless your heart …

  136. travelersb says:

    Congratulation SD Guru!! Can we knoe what is her secret to keep you that long?

  137. ChocolateBunny says:

    @ hot sb yes I know and of course not Marilyn Monroe haha but I’m happy for you. Secondly,Who is simplicity referring to ? If I choose to speak broken English to my fellow country girl, then it shouldnt be any problem or concern of yours my dear. Don’t worry about it hot sb, if you dey want to speak broken english speak it ! I beg joh!

  138. ChocolateBunny says:

    @hotsb what part of Africa are you from? Ivory Coast? Cameroon?

  139. hotsb says:

    @chocolate bunny

    First , there was nothing classy about elisabeth taylor. She was an actress who kept sleeping around with producers to get to work in movies. So please, don’t even mention her name. And don’t mention Marilyn monroe (and all those actresses) because she was a prostitute.
    I don’t know why the media always try to glamorize these women.
    Anyway,try to work on your appearance and your profile.

    take english classes, english is my third language, i worked hard to improve my english.
    Obviously it’s going to take time, but you can always improve.

  140. Simplicity says:

    I am so totally confused right now… how does one go from totally broken english to clear english with common slang???


    Congrats to Guru and Midwest on your accomplishments.

    Amy– welcome to SA, If you need any help there are plenty of sb’s on here that a willing. I have been on here a little less than a month and currently in two very beneficial arrangements,thanks to the help of Flyer and Blue Eyed Beauty(if you apply their tips it will get you very far). As far as profile help goes the Top 5 benefits of being a sugar baby thread has tons of posts that you will find very helpful. Good Luck, and again welcome to SA.

  141. ChocolateBunny says:

    @ hot sb Oh I’m also African as well. I understand that this website do favor other races but you have to think about it. Most of the 40-50 year olds are just a products of their era and there’s not much I or we can do about it. But as you said always put your foot forward. Whether we show them we can be as classy as Elizabeth Taylor or Queen Elizabeth it wouldn’t change their mind about us. I was born in an era where color do not matter and I intend to keep my beautiful mindset that way. I love foreign men because you get to learn a different culture without leaving your home.

  142. Tina says:

    @SD Guru: congrats on your sugary anniversary! 🙂

  143. hotsb says:


    That’s a message i wrote to a sb who was asking the same questions , read it and tell me what you think.

    The post:

    Hi girl. I’m French but originary from Africa. I have to admit that it seems that it’s harder for black girls to find sugar daddies. So you need to WORK HARDER to find one.
    First, ALWAYS LOOK YOUR BEST . It’s great to be curvy, but if you’re overweight try to lose a few pounds and exercise to stay curvy and in shape because you don’t want pot sugar daddies thinking that you’re not taking care of yourself and not healthy. Their first impression is based on our looks so that’s very important. It’s all about having the right proportions. You want to have an hourglass figure.
    The way you carry yourself is very important. A lot of sugar daddies i met told me that they thought that they were going to meet a crazy, loud black woman and that i proved them wrong. I was the opposite, very graceful , smart, caring, elegant……
    Everybody knows that there’s a stigma associated with black women so you have to prove them wrong by being yourself, being very classy and articulate.
    You should talk about your goals too. What you want to do and that you want to learn from them. Succesful men love to teach and it boosts their ego.
    You should also have a great picture.There is no room for error.
    And having a sense of humour doesn’t hurt.
    My sd experience so far: I’ve never had a real arrangement so far because the ones i’ve met were not as available as i thought they were(i want to see someone twice or three times a month) but i went on a lot of dates and they always ended up giving me money and offering shopping sprees because they enjoyed laughing with me( i’m always told i’m cute and very funny.It helps a lot). For instance the last three shopping sprees i got were at Louis Vuitton, average spending 2000 euros, and 500 euros in cash and they told me they had no intention of doing it in the beginning. That’s how fast they can change their minds.So i would suggest you do that too especially in the first few messages you guys exchange.
    You make them laugh, they will remember you.
    I think that if you take this approach , you’ll improve your chances.
    Most important, stay positive, it takes time.
    Let me know what you think about what i wrote and i’ll answer you.
    Good luck.

  144. hotsb says:


    Welcome to the SA family. I’m the official queen sugar baby.

    The first thing i will tell you is that you need to have a great profile:
    make sure that you come off as classy, smart, ambitious, with a great sense of humour, humble and a drama free person. And please, we’re sugar babies not gold diggers. We’re goal diggers. Keep that in mind.

    There are lots of fake sugar dadies on this website so be very selective. Don’t send pictures , if someone wants to see more pictures, upload them on the website but don’t send them, because so many men are picture collectors.

    I like staying on the website while communicating, lots of men want to email after a few messages and they will send you crazy pictures . Staying on the website is better because they can’t talk about wild sex or anything explicit.

    If someone ask you what’your price is for an hour, report him and block him, you don’t want to waste any time.
    Be very careful with men who ask you what you give in exchange if they give you money.
    There is no exchange in a sugar daddy/sugar baby relashionship. It’s about sharing.
    If you guys kiss or become intimate, that’s because you guys both want to, not because you’re going to get a handbag or money or anything else.

    Never sleep with them on the first few dates,we’re ladies with standards not hookers.
    You’re not here for the money, you’re he here to find someone you get along with and you’re attracted to first, then if everything goes well, he will obviously be generous because that’s the first quality of a sugar daddy and will offer help.
    They should always behave like gentlemen, if he disrespects you, he’s not a sugar daddy.

    Don’t feel entitled,that’s a turn off. Be appreciative.
    Just tell them that you know that you can learn a lot from succeful men,succesful men love teaching , it boosts their ego.
    Do not sound desperate.

    Be realistic about the amout of money you ask.

    You know what, just be yourself!

    A lot of people here are probably going to disagree with some of the things i wrote, but it has worked for me so far. I never had a sd because i don’t settle for less. But i’ve been on many few dates with sds and got money, gifts, shopping sprees, spa treatments.
    And i’ve had a pot sd sending me about 47k worth of gifts and i’m not talking about cheap stuff, i got 2 birkin bags which i love . one thing he told me is that he was attracted to me because i stood out from the girls he used too talk to. He told me they seemed to have no values or morals whatsoever, they would do anything for money. He was happy to meet someone who respected herself .
    See, that’s how amazing your life can turn out to be.

    I’ve been on the site for 3 years so it took me 2 years to hit the jackpot. Be patient.

    Hope it helped.

  145. ChocolateBunny says:

    Hello SA bloggers , I’ve been having trouble getting any responses from SDs.
    Ive been on this site for a month now and absolutely no luck. Even though I am black, I will never ever see my skin color as a factor in any situation. With that said , is there something I need to change about my profile ? Less details more pictures? Or the other way round? Is it age? Am I not verifed enough ?I don’t know what it is but some opinons will help a lot. Thanks.



  146. amy says:

    Im very new to this site….can anyone email me tips etc…im not sure the right ways to go about things. I may be coming across too normal lol. If that makes sense. Id appreciate any advice. thanks ….amy

    • SD Guru says:

      Thanks to those who have shared their personal stories. It’s refreshing to see such touching moments in the blog… which reminds me that I should reprise the kumbaya post.

      Meanwhile, I’m getting my popcorns ready for that train wreck in Paris…

      By the way, I’ll be celebrating the two year anniversary with my SB. During my years in the sugar world she’s the third one that has lasted this long. Only time will tell how long it will last, but I certainly have no regrets.

  147. Tina says:

    I am Six Sigma green belt certified, although since I’ve changed companies I have to go through it again. If I get this position, I’m committed to getting to Master Black Belt status. That, and I will be taking advantage of tuition reimbursement, with the hopes to go back and get my MBA………

  148. Tina says:

    @Ms. Taken – I wish there was, but mine is going to be technical specific to the industry (which I really don’t want to disclose on the blog, as it would open up more information about myself than I would like on a public blog, but you’re more than welcome to my e-mail!) I’m not a PMP, although I have the experience. I just never took the test. As far as the engineering aspect, I never did the cert because my degree isn’t quite strictly engineering based. Long story 🙂

  149. Ms. Taken says:

    Tina, sorry about the delay. Dodgy connection all around.

    How lucky for us that you are on at this time. It’s serendipity…

    I worked in mfg ops for a short while. Are you certified?

    I have been out of the trenches for a while and wanted to prepare for an upcoming interview – ideally doing mock interviews with someone familiar with the IT slant.

    Is there anything I can do to help with yours? Mine isn’t scheduled yet…

  150. Ms. Taken - because I usually mean the other thing says:

    Tina, sorry about the delay. Dodgy connection all around.

    How lucky for us that you are on at this time. It’s serendipity…

    I worked in mfg ops for a short while. Are you certified?

    I have been out of the trenches for a while and wanted to prepare for an upcoming interview – ideally doing mock interviews with someone familiar with the IT slant.

    Is there anything I can do to help with yours?

  151. Tina says:

    Thanks Ms. Taken; I’m in manufacturing (I have a degree that is somewhat like an Industrial Engineering degree, and experience as a project manager and IE).

    @Midwest: we need to make sure we keep in touch so when you get your master’s you can come down here for a little vacation. I’ll buy you REAL margaritas and (Tex)Mexican food 😉

  152. Ms. Taken says:

    So much to celebrate, how sweet 😉
    Congrats and good luck to you Tina. Thanks for sharing earlier. I can certainly relate to the career side of it. What’s your field (if you care to say)?

    You’ve done it again, Midwest. Congrats on the degree!

  153. Tina says:

    @travelersb: THANKS! I’m very nervous, and very excited! I’m crossing all my body parts that will cross 🙂

  154. Tina says:

    @Ms. Taken – I’m a PM as well as IE. And I think the blog had some technical issues earlier……

  155. Ms. Taken says:

    Hey sugars (waves)
    It’s been a while since I posted. Was pre-occupied with life less sweet. I posted earlier but don’t see it now, hmm.

    OT-Any project managers in the bowl? I would be grateful if we could talk shop for a quick minute. Thx!

  156. travelersb says:

    congrats Tina!

  157. Tina says:

    Just found out I have an interview on Tuesday for the job I applied for! WHOOP WHOOP!

  158. Ms. Taken - because I usually mean the other thing says:

    Hey sugars,

    @Tina – thanks for sharing. I’m inspired…

    I’ve been lurking and just got caught up from about three blogs ago. Such a spirited sugar bowl – I love it.

    @Midwest – you’ve done it again. My heartiest congratulations to you!

    Do we have any Project Managers out there? I would like to have a quick talk off please. Thank you.

  159. Tina says:

    Thanks Content! Btw, how is the dude coming along? I’ve been off for a while, so I apologize in advance if I missed something! 🙂

    @hotsb: regardless of your decision, please be sure to be careful and take care of yourself first.

  160. hotsb says:

    @Miss D

    I called him today and he didn’t really answer any of the questions.
    But i’m thinking about the money a lot, no one else is going to offer me 50k a month ever.
    I’m still going to spend a few days with him when he comes to Paris,and i’ll make a decision based on that.

  161. ContentSB says:

    @Tina — Thanks! Just read your previous post; thanks for sharing (you too Midwest!). It’s always a great reminder that we all have/had our struggles and just when we think nobody could possibly understand, it’s important to remember that it’s very likely many people can relate 🙂

  162. Tina says:

    @Content: Good luck honey! Enjoy the ride and new experiences! 🙂

  163. ContentSB says:

    Hey Sugars! I’m taking a leap of faith and made a move to the Twin Cities…if anyone is in the area I’d love to connect!

    Hope you’re all doing well!

  164. Tina says:

    @Midwest – I’ve never been married, but have had a few serious relationships that have shaped who I am. My last, which ended 4 years ago, was probably the one I learned the most from. We dated for almost 5 years, and in that time my life took a very interesting turn that I’m still redirecting. Before August of 2007, I had already learned a lot and was seriously thinking about ending the relationship (we had already been together for 4 years, so it wasn’t a decision I took lightly). What happened? Well, around that time I was starting to feel quite used. I’m the type of person that will do anything for a friend, but especially a loved one; I get great joy from helping people. But, as you know, you have to have someone in your life to give back, otherwise you feel used up. That’s what happened here – he never could get a steady job, couldn’t ever pay all of his child support, and there was always SOME kind of emergency in his life that he expected me to fix IMMEDIATELY. If I couldn’t fix it, he would get very angry, and accuse me of not caring, not trying, etc. etc. etc. That, of course, would make me feel incredibly guilty.

    Then the biggest event of my life hit – I was laid off. I’m the type of personality that expects a lot of myself, and expects that I WILL succeed. This was also my first job out of college, and I worked very hard at it. Unfortunately you can’t work against a failing economy. Emotionally and financially I was devastated. (I ended up finding another job in 8 months, and was laid off from that 10 months later. 18 months and 2 layoffs- YUCK!)

    The day that I got laid off, he was the first person that I called. His response? “Oh, sorry, but I’m dealing with something right now and can’t talk”. I didn’t hear from him until the next day. Then, when I did hear from him, he asked me to help him find another job while I was looking for one.

    The last straw was a few months later when I gave a friend a ride to work when he needed one when he was sick (he usually rode his bike). My ex flipped his lid when he found out, saying that I was cheating on him and who was I to be in a car with another guy. Errrr, what? Seriously?

    So, up until now I’ve needed to focus on me. I had to deal with the baggage from that relationship and digest the learnings (there were a LOT more, but this entry is already long and personal enough). I’ve also been focusing on getting my career back on track, and am working on getting back to my professional position (there is an opening at my current company that I’m going for).

    I was drawn to this site because I love to have someone in my life to give back to, and spoil in my own way, but also need someone to spoil me a bit and give back. From my last relationship I’m turned off from traditional ones, and need/want the freedom to explore my career options.

    That, and I have a desire to open my own business, and having a mentor to do so would be absolutely amazing.

    Ok, enough about me. That was incredibly personal, and tough to do. See what I do for you Midwest? 😉

  165. Michael Alleycat says:

    Hey MidWest – congrats on the degree, it’s a good feeling. I got thrown out of uni in Australia, but went back at late-30s and got my MBA, while working fulltime. Great experience, and totally worth the investment in so many ways.

    High school. I know, right? I always give her very sound dating advice,wish I would listen to it myself sometimes though!

    Yes, kicking off with the new SB this afternoon. She is the one and only at this stage, but we will have to see how it goes! The first time can be a bit awkward sometimes.

    I don’t plan to have a #2 etc – I think I am through that stage lol.

  166. Miss D says:

    Just curious, how long does it take the blog Gods to send someone’s contact information to you?I wanted flyr’s contacts so he could look at my profile, and give me tips. I have not received anything and the request was made awhile ago

    @ honeybee any luck in the sd/sb dating world yet?

    @ Just a thought sd- loved your “romantic frivolities”, it was not none sense at all. Really creative way of looking at the subject.

  167. Miss D says:

    Hello everyone, hope everyone is doing great! @ midwest congrats, I know exactly how you felt walking across that stage, it’s an amazing feeling especially when your the first in your family to get an degree. I’m starting my masters in a few weeks too, oh gosh so nervous! I wish you luck!
    @ hotsb – communication is key, if you can not talk to your sd about what you want, what you don’t feel comfortable with, or anything else regarding the relationship move on. I have had one experience with an middle eastern man. Men are dominant in that culture most of the time, and most of the time it never changes. I see so many red flags, but it’s up to you. I personal would not be accepting anything from a man that I don’t feel 100% comfortable with or really unsure about. However, that is just me though. Good luck.

  168. JustAThought SD says:


    Congrats on your degree. Congrats on standing by your hubby. I know you felt pressure to be the first in your fam to get a degree. I sympathize with you, dearly, on all the hard decisions you had to make. Perhaps, it was not an option to finish college and then reunite. I don’t know. Today, I am saddened by the outcome of your relationship, as I also had an “indestructable” marriage, and I am familiar with the feelings you mentioned. In his defense, he probably felt the same way. Not that us guy types would ever tell anyone.

    As for the young lady in my story above, I didn’t lose respect for her until she decided to grandstand at a dinner with my friends. She attempted to put my personal life on display for them, to emasculate me, and appear smarter than me. Of course, she didn’t realize these people were so much more mature and intelligent than her. She had no idea that they knew every bit of me, and saw her lies as they spilled from her mouth. Such naivete’ only brought our breakup to an immediate resolution.

    But enough walking down memory lane. Tempus fugit.

  169. JustAThought SD says:

    No hun, you shouldn’t agree. Love is what’s left after you wake up from the fairy tale, when the money’s gone, when the wolves are at the door, when you need a reason to go on and never give up. Love is also there when you fight through the hardship together, crush the wolves, and the money returns. Sometimes your biggest enemies are each other, and no one wants to admit they’re wrong, or give in to the other. If you can’t give in to each other, and stand by each other, you’ll give in to the world, and be apart from each other. Even perfect arrangements/relationships have trouble at some point.

    My apologies for such romantic frivolities, and such sappy daliances from the usual. Today, I am missing someone. Tomorrow, I’ll be a shark again.

  170. flyr says:

    Was that 50 shades of LA or

    50 Sharks of LA

  171. Midwest SB says:

    Michael – Wow! High school! Make sure she gets some sound dating advice 🙂 Good luck with your new lady. Is she your only at this point?

  172. Midwest SB says:

    Honeybee – Long day, I know.

    JustathoughtSD – Interesting points. It looks as though you tried to appease her, but then you got the “short end”. It also appears as though she has lost your respect. In my situation, it was a matter of finishing college in a few months or relocating with him because I was his wife and “my place was with him”. I moved, then lost over 40 hours that wouldn’t transfer. I guess I felt defeated because at that point I had been going for 8 years part-time and was SO close to being the first in my family to have a degree and rise above my past. I felt resentful and less important because it seemed to me that a few months wouldn’t / couldn’t destroy our marriage. However, I let it crush my goals. I didn’t go back to finish until two years ago. Let me tell you, it was one of the most amazing feelings to walk across that stage! It seems that the many who went to college straight from high school, finished college in four years, then pursued their careers do not seem to feel the same way about obtaining their higher education than those who had to fight their way to it. I’ve had people shrug their shoulders and say “why would you bother?”. I’m left speechless sometimes…why would you belittle someone’s goals? Anyway…I finished last May and am starting my masters in a few weeks. I’m in a career path I never imagined and that is truly satisfying! A few cliches come to mind…”good things come to those who wait” and “life is what happens while you’re making plans”. I’ll take ownership for my feelings, but he never once acknowledged how it hurt me.

    Tina – MWAH!!! We all have stories that make us who we are. What’s yours?

  173. HoneyBee says:

    @MidWest- Lol! I so did not mean for that to go off screen. It’s just all that to take in one day, I had no other response from the beginning of the psycho killer story to my wow.

  174. isabellebeauvais says:

    Oh i wish i could attend the fifty shades sugar party but tickets from across the atlantic arent cheap..but if anyones offering lol
    I hope there is a london sugar party soon!

  175. Michael Alleycat says:

    Hi everybody! Hi MidWest (waves!)

    Life is interesting – as always. My daughter started high school yesterday, and I am kicking off with a new SB tomorrow, so we will see how that goes. She is a bit young, but very cute and smart as a whip. It will be interesting, as we are still feeling each other out. And up.

    Any blog news? Who’s going to the LA party? SDinLA – that’s your kind of scene, isn’t it?

  176. travelersb says:

    I agree with JustAThoughtSD – the right moment to split off in a relationship is when both feel that they have the short end of the stick. Is usualy exactly at that moment that the drama starts also.

  177. flyr says:

    “I’m even more worried than ever, I know his culture is important to him, he’s old shcool.
    So just because i accepted the gifts , we hare an arrangement? i didn’t know . Are you 100% sure?”

    Am I sure? Of course not, in life there are only three constants.

    Death, taxes and being surprised at the unpredictability of the “opposite” sex\.

    If you are right about the numbers understand that his gift has no more significance to him than buying a friend a cup of Starbucks has to you. Well perhaps that’s not really correct for he may realize that he potentially has the option to be with 90+% of the women who are here.

    Be sensitive to what’s happening and check back with your mentors .

  178. Chelsea says:

    I just bought my ticket for the SA Fifty Shades of LA gathering. I’m not familiar with the area. Would anyone care to hang out for the weekend?

    Best wishes everyone!

  179. JustAThought SD says:

    Sorry you felt you were taken for granted. I was in a similar situation where a young lady felt less important because I wanted a homemaker and she wanted to work. (I know homemaking doesn’t require a degree, but not everyone can do it well or right.) So, she went to work, and I still paid for everything. Of course, it still didn’t work out for us, because whether she was homemaker, or career girl, she never addressed her real issues.(She was kind of an idiot, and when other people knew it, they were sure to exploit it. And,I’m not saying this is your situation, of course.)

    It’s unfortunate that too many of us value ourselves based on our hardships, or on the value others place upon us.

    As I try to consider other people’s feelings before major decisions, I have come to find that they feel so strongly about these “major decisions” that my feelings really didn’t matter to them much. They would always have their own reasons/justifications/excuses why their decision was the most rational. And I felt pretty much the same way about my reasons. So how do you get over such an impasse? I guess it’s easier to split up than for either side to submit. (Yes, I know that sounds jaded.) And if one party submits, how long before the next impasse on something else? All I can say is, find the best match, and submit to the togetherness, not just to each other. (I’ll end this post before I get the inkling to go watch “The Notebook.”)

  180. eros says:

    Nice tips,.
    but i need to find sugar mommy first,.hihihi 🙂 lol

  181. Tina says:

    Thank you for being so open and honest about a hurtful situation Midwest. You’re an amazing woman, and I am blessed to know you as I do. Many hugs! (And I want to be you when I grow up even more than ever) 🙂

  182. Midwest SB says:

    Pardon the grammar :/

  183. Midwest SB says:

    JustAThought SD – I wish I knew to be honest. My honest answer is that I feel like he was no longer in love with me. After being apart for many years and some personal insights, I think I know where it unraveled and it has to do with some choices that forced me to postpone my goals and feel less important. It’s an awful feeling and I was the one who finally made the choice to leave. My advice to you is to never take her for granted and make sure you TELL her that you love her and to make sure you consider all people when making major life decisions.

    Didn’t see that one coming. It still hurts to think about it.

  184. JustAThought SD says:

    He was amazing, but he’s the ex…may i inquire what his tragic flaw was? (Just in case I ever do the traditional relationship again, I’m curious of the dealbreaker you encountered.)

  185. JustAThought SD says:

    So many questions that you should be asking him, rather than asking us. You already know what’s in your head and your heart. It’s not about fear of ruining the romance, it’s the idea in your mind that you may screw up a good potential relationship. Go back to the basics, look at your 2 lists that you made when you decided to look for an sd/bf/husband. (If you never made them, you need to make a list of what you expect your other to be and a list of what you will be for your significant other.)

    If you can’t talk to him now about the meaningful issues, how will you talk to him later if you’re in his home country, at his house, where you may or may not have friends, and resources of your own?

  186. Midwest SB says:

    Uh oh HoneyBee. Please know that is my experience and mine alone. It does not mean it applies to all Middle Eastern men.

  187. HoneyBee says:


  188. Midwest SB says:

    hotsb and travelersb – done!

    I’ve had several Middle Eastern make similar advances and it’s a turn off for me. My ex of many years was Middle Eastern, but he was born in the states and “Americanized” for lack of a better word. He was amazing. Otherwise, I’ve been told that although they love American (blonde) women, they will not treat you as a traditional American wife. Make sure you understand their culture and how they view women in general. It’s a huge generalization, but know what you are getting into.

    Hi sugars! I’ve been spending more time enjoying the summer and less online, so please excuse if I don’t see your e-mail requests right away. Guru and other SA blog staff are also able to do the exchanges if you haven’t heard from me in a while. Thanks!

  189. BlogComment says:

    Wait a second…

    Those background verifications services on this site eliminate sex offenders and those convicted of sex crimes?

    Why would I want to disqualify a SB on those grounds??!?!?

  190. travelersb says:

    BLOG GODDES – could you exchange emails please?

  191. hotsb says:

    sure but i don’t know how to contact you, i’m not sure if i’m allowed to post my email adress on the blog.

  192. travelersb says:

    You are not in danger as long as you don’t marry him!!. Make it clear that you will not marry him. I understand how you must feel and how all communications can be verry hard and heavy sometimes but on the very importants points, make no exception and make it clear that you will NOT marry him. In 10 years, once you will know him well, be comfortable in everything of him and his culture and really love him and all that, you could reconsider, but now, there is no discussion at all. You don’t want to marry him!!! Do I need to repeat? DON’T even be open to the idea, don’t let him convince you, each time that the subject comes, specify that you will NOT marry him, repeat it again and again to him, so he will know that you are serious. If you just mention it without being assertive about it, he will not believe you. He will just find you cute… Anyway, I would like to talk to you in private if you want.

  193. travelersb says:

    thanks PhoneGuy for your approval

  194. PhoneGuy says:

    Oui, vous pouvez parler Francais ici.

  195. hotsb says:


    You can write in french if you want.

  196. hotsb says:

    I would like to thank Tina, phone guy, blue eyed beauty, Flyr and travelersb for taking the time to answer my questions.

    Thanks,But the thing is that i don’t want to ask him anything because it’s going to ruin the romance, he is the one who offered to give me all these things to show he was real.
    I didn’t ask for anything.
    I would like a normal relashionship with him.
    He kind of made me undrstand that he was going to get married no matter what, i thought he was joking at first but he keeps saying it and it’s not funny anymore.
    He is serious i think.

    I’m even more worried than ever, I know his culture is important to him, he’s old shcool.
    So just because i accepted the gifts , we hare an arrangement? i didn’t know . Are you 100% sure?

    @blue eyed beauty
    If we didn’t meet on this website, he would have pampered me and give me money because he’s wealthy. I’m not sure i understand what you’re saying.
    Are you asking me that if he was broke, will i still be with him. I’m not sure because i absolutely want someone to help me start my own businness so i need to meet someone who’s succesful, and even if i don’t get pampered, as long as i have my business i’m good.
    That’s my plan, that’s one of the main reason i’m on this website.

    I’ve tried to talk to him but he’s very good at avoiding answering the questions.
    everytime i ask him what he really wants in a relashionship , he tells me: don’t worry , you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, i’m going to take care of you and pamper you. It always comes down to the gifts and the money.

    @ travelersb
    Now i’m more scared than ever, Seriously you need to tell me right now what’s going on because i would rather walk away from the situation now than before it”s too late.
    Am i in danger?

  197. Debbie says:

    I don’t no how to start how?
    Thanks debbie

  198. travelersb says:

    @hotsb, and we can both speak in french. I have a feeling it would be easier for both of us than to use that blog lol

  199. travelersb says:

    @hotsb, – I was going to send a big post on here but I would prefer to talk to you more privatly. Red flags are every where in your story. Flyr has talk about a book that talks about how to deal with middle eastern men but I don’t know if that book that he has read talks about how to deal with middle eastern men when you are a WOMAN!!!. My opinion is that you are in a dangerous situation. I am not talking trhough my hat. I’ve been in a relationship with a middle eastern man for two years. And I have seen many relationships between powerful middle eastern men and north american girls. I have to talk to you seriously.
    BLOG GODDES – please , could you send my email to hotsb

  200. JustAThought SD says:


    Communication is still key. Tell him you feel he’s moving very fast and you want to take time to get to know. Remind him that you are thankful for the gifts, but you don’t want to feel like you owe him anything for them, including all of your body/mind/soul/time just yet. Remind him also that you really enjoy spending time with him and want both of you to know each other, so you both can see if it’s really what you both want.(Arrangement,marriage, whatever.)

    If you talk to him about these things, he may run away or stop talking to you or ask for the gifts back.(Of course,they were gifts from his heart so maybe he won’t want them back, but you can give back the ones you still have if it wasn’t real.If you want.)

    Take it slow, look for more warning signs, if he wants to go the serious route, you may want to think of it more like a traditional relationship. Would you normally hurry to marry a guy that is very dominant? If he wants multiple sb’s would you be ok with it? Would you be ok with multiple sb’s if you did marry him? This is just one thing to consider. You both may want to have some long talks and see where each other is and where you both want to end up. I hope you both find what you’re looking for, and enjoy the ride.

  201. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Early 90’s….Stowe Mountain, Vermont….in a broke down Westfalia….Good fucking times….:-)http://www.wolfgangsvault.com/blues-traveler/video/escaping_1005319.html

  202. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Giddy up phone guy….:-)

  203. Tina says:

    Unfortunately 4:30am comes early, so I won’t be able to see if Phone Guy ponies up. Go get’em BEB! 😉

    Have a wonderful night all!

  204. Tina says:

    I LOVE the vintage Ahhhhhhhhnold pic!

  205. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    I realize third party website referrals have to be moderated…..but whenever I post them they seem to get lost in the shuffle….here’s my latest referral re: Love of the American Way: theselvedgeyard dot wordpress dot com. Posted earlier …. but just don’t want it to be overlooked in relation to the love of the American SD. It’s my favourite blog of all time….and I find it SO sexy….I hope you enjoy it as much as I do…..

  206. Tina says:

    @BEB: I think it’s more his imagination is bigger than his courage 😉

  207. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @tina – two against one….you game phone guy?…or is your bark bigger than your bite?

  208. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @flyr – Jeez….I love Boston….reminds me of my home town….scrappy tough sexy bunch….maybe I’m meant to be a moll….

  209. Tina says:

    @BEB: I’m up for it my dear! 😉 (Wait, did I just hear Phone Guy pass out and hit the floor?) hehehehehe

  210. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @phone guy and tina – can we make this a three way convo?…..

  211. Tina says:

    @ flyr: YIKES!

  212. flyr says:

    @phone guy “Exactly what is she looking for”

    My primary interest is whether he is physically abusive or worse.

    Perhaps it’s a leftover concern from the years I lived in Boston…….. not too uncommon to hear on the Monday Am news ” Mr X was found Sunday, floating in the Stoneham Quarry. Cause of death appears to have been multiple gunshot wounds to the head, Mr X was known to be heavily in debt to local gambling interests. Police are handling it as a probable suicide.”

  213. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: could be an interesting private conversation………. 😉

  214. PhoneGuy says:

    @Tina, no, that’s not what I’m interested in helping you satisfy. 😉

  215. Tina says:

    @BEB: hehehe, you a bad, bad girl 😉

  216. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @phone guy….name your price hot stuff….

  217. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: what, not interested in helping me satisfy MY curiosity? Pfffft! 😉

  218. PhoneGuy says:

    @Tina, we’re all SBs for the right price. 😉

    @BEB, but what do I get for satisfying your curiosity? 😛

    Exactly what is she looking for in spending thousands of dollars on an investigator? What question are you trying to have answered? Do you want to know if he is a good person? Has a criminal record? Cheats on his taxes? Has other mistresses? The good thing about investigating a person with $850 million is that many other people are interested in him also and I bet the answer to many of these questions can be obtained without an investigator.

    >what if he asks me to pay everything back?
    >What if he blackmails me? i will be in debt my entire life.
    What if I ask you to give me all the money he has given you? You tell me to buzz off. Blackmails you how? Have you committed some crime with him? You’d put yourself in debt for your entire life over him outing you to your family and friends? You are being silly and dramatic.
    >Phone guy aren’t you a sd? You can buy any car you want yourself i assume……
    All being an SD means is that I have more money than you. 😉 And that’s not even universally true. 😉

  219. flyr says:

    “”He’s originary from the middle east so you guys know exactly what i’m talking about.””

    It may be that he does not want to embarrass his family or it could be something more sinister.

    I would make it clear that you appreciate his gifts, they are accepted as a gift not an indenture.

    I think culture does come into play here and if you accept a gift the donor may see it as an agreement. Recommended reading Dealing With Princes….It was given to me by a retired Navy officer with decades of dealing in the area….

  220. Tina says:

    @hotsb: ditto to what BEB added………you’ll be able to find the RIGHT match for you with a little more time.

  221. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @tina – I agree wholeheartedly with what you are saying….but hotsb….you sound like you are way over your head….you have raised many personal red flags and I’m never one to ignore red flags….would you still be game if this wasn’t a sugar relationship? If not….get out. Only you know what is best for you. Don’t ignore red flags….ever. You are responsible for your safety. Take it seriously. If he wants a submissive and you are not a submissive….don’t do yourself a disservice by pretending to be a submissive. The fact you are posting here with reservations is telling me you are out of your depth.

  222. Tina says:

    @hotsb: be sure to read the tips on how to remain safe. You can meet him if you would like, but make sure that you are in a public place with at least one family/friend that knows who you’re going to meet, where you’re meeting, when to expect you home, etc. Before you meet, you need to set your expectations with him. Are you looking for a long term arrangement, possibly evolving into more? You mentioned that you aren’t ready to talk about marriage, which means when he brings up the subject you need to let him know how you feel. He may want you to be submissive, but DOM/SUB relationships have specific boundaries. There is always a “safe” word to let the partner know when the play has gone too far.

    You need to examine this to see if he is really looking for a submissive partner, or if he’s looking for a doormat.

    As far as the gifts he’s given you, they’re gifts. Period.

    My concern is that you don’t seem to trust him very much, and don’t feel comfortable around him. Just be careful how much of your life you share with him until you feel that you can trust him. You have the power to allow him into your life, and eject him as well. Don’t think that just because he is rich that he has all of the power – YOU choose what information to share with him. The gifts he has given you were HIS choice to give. He’s not entering into this blindly, and doesn’t sound naive.

    For a successful arrangement, you’ve skipped over possibly the most important part. You have already discovered that you’re attracted to him and have common interests. But you haven’t discussed the expectations for the arrangement. You need to have this discussion, regardless as to how uncomfortable it might be.

  223. Tina says:

    @BEB: I’m right there with ya – curiosity is a booger……….

  224. hotsb says:


    Are you telling me that i should hire a detective?

    I’m a little bit shy also and he can be a little bit intimidating. He told me i was a too independant and he wants me to be quiet i public places when we’ll meet.
    I think he wants me to be submissive.
    Should i play the role for a while, collect the money and dump him?

    @phone guy

    That’s what i want to do, enjoy myself but what if he asks me to pay everything back?
    I’m more worried about what can happen in the future and i want to make the right decision.What if he blackmails me? i will be in debt my entire life.
    He’s originary from the middle east so you guys know exactly what i’m talking about.
    He told me he is no joke, he’s the real deal.

    i think you guys are taking this lightly, but i’ve heard many stories about powerful men who can make you disapear without people noticing.
    Thanks anyways.
    Phone guy aren’t you a sd? You can buy any car you want yourself i assume……


  225. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @hey Phone Guy…care to give me your email….I’d love to put a face to a name….

  226. Tina says:

    And thanks Jack, I’m hoping it turns out the way I want it to! 🙂

  227. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: so now you’re a SD and a SB for the right price? 😉

  228. flyr says:

    @hotsb “We haven’t met yet and he’s already spent almost 50k on me. I want to be with him but i don’t want to be forced to marry him if i don’t want to. ”

    if your numbers are right he has sent you less than 1/10,000 of his NW. Yet it is a pretty princely sum. If you are really worried pay someone in private security (a real professional ) a few thousand dollars to do some background checking and a few more thousand to watch over you in your first meetings.

  229. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @hotsb – leave his name and any other info you have about him with a friend/family and then go for it….he can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do….enjoy the ride 🙂

  230. PhoneGuy says:

    >he’s not ultra weathly like a billionaire but he’s worth about 850 millions
    Lol, you ladies crack me up. I would say from your point of view he’s ultra wealthy…let’s just go ahead and round, shall we? 😉

    I’m sure he’s pushy and insistent but he can’t lock you in a house or make you marry him. And if he wants to get married and you don’t, I can guarantee this will end badly. In the meantime you will be getting a lot of money and driving a Bentley. Enjoy.

    If it doesn’t sound like it’s worth the effort give him my number. 😉
    I could use 50k and a Bentley.

  231. hotsb says:


    Thanks for answering.
    I’ve had a few american sds telling me that french men are cheap in general and because the ones i met were cheap, i thought i’d ask.
    I have another question:
    I’ve been in contact with a sd for a year now,he’s American we never met but we’ve talked on the phone, via webcam and he tells me he is very interested in having a relashionship with me because we’re both looking for a long term commitment. I googled him and he is a very succesful man, he’s not ultra weathly like a billionaire but he’s worth about 850 millions. I’ve already received gifts from him such as money and designer clothes. But he is very serious and maybe too serious and i really think that he wants to get married because he often talks about marriage . He tells me that he wants to take care of me and help me start my own business. He’s coming to Paris in 2 weeks and we’re going to spend a week together. I get the feeling that he thinks that once we’ll meet and if we get along that i will belong to him and i’m a little bit scared.
    He’s VERY DOMINANT and i don’t want to get into a fight with him. But i really like him and he’s really into me.
    My question is what should i do? because he always jokes around and says to me: you will get pampered but to a point of no return. Because english is my third language i don’t really understand, i think that he’s saying that i’m going to be stuck with him, that i will not be able to go back or something like that ,which is scary.Tell me if i’m wrong please.
    I’m only 21 and i don’t want to end up in a situation where i’m asked to give everything he got me back because we may split up in the future. We haven’t met yet and he’s already spent almost 50k on me. I want to be with him but i don’t want to be forced to marry him if i don’t want to. He’s so serious. And i also think that if i don’t stay with him i will never have my own business .I will be devastated if i couldn’t. he can make things happen in a second and help me create my business.
    So i’m a little bit lost and i really need some advice.
    I can’t say his name but he’s a very powerful man so i thinking , he can pretty much try to control me.
    What if he locks me up in a house and i can’t leave?
    I’ve been having few nightmares for the last few days.
    My gutt is telling me that it’s going to end badly but how can i refuse a 50000 euros allowance , an apartment, a bentley(my favorite car in the whole world), being able to take care of my family, and never having to worry about money, ever?
    What would you do if you were in that situation?
    Because i’m really thinking about my familly a lot . Not only will i be able to take care of my family in France, but i will also be able to take care of my family in Africa.
    Any advice is welcomed and please reassure me about this point of no return thing.

  232. WildWhisper says:

    I think a good way to keep your sugar sweet would be to treat her like a human,
    lol some of the men on this site! They must have been raised without mothers!

    I really like the blogs, I am a newer SB and I’ve had some pretty bad experiences with SD so far ( no that’s not a “omg feel sorry for me” statement) If I would have read the blogs before jumping with both feet in, I could have avoided alottttttttt of drama with these guys.

    To all the people in SD/SB relations, congratulations ! Someday I will find mine <3

  233. travelersb says:

    good morning Jack alias THE perfect sd for all ! 😉

  234. Jack says:

    I hear that the best SD’s are the ones that were born abroad, lived and traveled in various countries, but then moved to the US as teenagers and learned much of the American way. This way, they know the romance of the European countries but have many desirable American habits.

    And ideally, if they are in their mid-50’s, these SD’s are old enough to have had a vast experience in all the important things but young enough to be able to use that experience. And usually, by that age, they know who they are and have gotten over any mid-life crisis they might have experienced earlier in their life.



  235. DelicateEbonySB says:

    I’m Jamaican and yes the American SD’s are the hottest, the most generous and with the biggest equipment. 😛

  236. travelersb says:

    hola hotsb!
    When I was in Paris, an europeean man offered me an long term arrangement. I met him in real, not online. That was someone who was traveling between London and Paris all the time for work. He was a lot of fun BUT he wasn’t extremly generous. He wanted to report my allowance like an expense for his work so he would not have pay it directly from his pocket. This is only one experience so I cannot generalize for all French sd but I can generalize from the cultural point of view. The only nationality where people are not very close to their money are the american. In restaurants, they tip BIG. the seconds one who tip good in restaurants, are the frenchs peolpe (once they understood that they HAVE to leave between 10 to 20% in North America). This is not hopeless, I am sure that you can find a generous french sd even if there are more generous american sds. To me though, american men are the best for many other reasons too!!! I hope that my answer answers your question. good to see you back hotsb!

  237. travelersb says:

    good morning everybody!

  238. hotsb says:


    I wanted to know what you thought about french sugar daddies.
    Do they come across as cheap in you opinion?
    I haven’t met one french sd who would give me gas money when i had to use the car to meet up with them.On the contrary, i got gas money, spa treatments, shopping sprees and money to spend from american sds.
    Have you had the same experience?

  239. Treasured says:

    @ JustAThought SD – You are a sweetypie, but I am fine 😀
    I do not feel like I have the “painful baggage” or that I am bitter. I have learned my lessons, taken them on board and am not doing the same mistake again.
    I am a VERY happy girl and am generally enjoying Sugardating. And, as I have said – am open to have my faith in SDs restored. But, until then, I am keeping my little black book 😀

    And… Talking about the French Riviera -I am off today to XX with SD nr2 (who, by the way, was my first SD with that exclusivity arrangement. But, since he played up, now he has to learn to share and he knows it).

  240. travelersb says:

    @JustAthought SD and Threasured – The USA are good because american men are hummmm…. yummy! and hummm… well they just have it! They are my favorites! But like you said JustAThought, tastes change, maybe I will get bored of american one day. I hope not though. Better enjoy to the fullest now, just in case it changes.

  241. JustAThought SD says:

    @Treasured and any jaded sb’s

    I sympathize with you. I can only hope you find the sd or bf that you previously looked for. Just be honest with your heart, this is all we can really hope to do. Tastes change, people change, and sometimes change back. Sometimes you were the dealbreaker and sometimes you were the dealbroken (dealbreakee?) When you’re ready to let go of that painful baggage, perhaps you’ll start to zero in on that long term sd you want. In the meantime, do your best to enjoy the journey.

    p.s.–Maybe you could move to the u.s. someday.

    “Philosophical but true rant” over.

  242. Jack says:

    Tina, best of luck with your “current situation” and hope it does allow you to go back to traveling more!

    And BEB, I’ll definitely keep that dingle option in mind, with dangle options also permeating my thoughts! LOL.

    G’night y’all!


  243. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Jack – You know my number 🙂 Just give me a dingle whenever you can spare 1 day or 7. It’d be my pleasure…

  244. Tina says:

    Jack: I know the feeling. One of these days I’m going to make it back to Spain and tour to northern coast (I’ve been to Madrid, and traveled south to Toledo, Grenada then the southern coast and a day trip across the Strait). I’m not big on large cities (hence I’m not a fan of Houston or Dallas) so after leaving Madrid then stepping out onto the streets of Toledo and smelling the orange trees in bloom was absolute heaven.

    I love to travel, and miss it with my current responsibilities keeping me tied to home. Hopefully things will go my way with a current situation and I can get back to expanding my cultural horizons 🙂 I SO want to try Italian wines in Tuscany!

  245. Jack says:

    Tina, the Riviera’s in Europe might need to be visited soon before that whole continent goes belly-up (and we stateside are not that far behind!).

    As to the Carribean, the first completely-open week I have to go anywhere will be Spring Break, 2013 (March). I have my girls every Thurs once school starts, except for Thanksgiving this year, but that week I will be in Costa Rica. I do have the girls for Xmas this year (my ex and I alternate years) but we’re already booked for a cruise during Xmas week.

    We’ll see how everything plays out!


  246. DelicateEbonySB says:

    So who is going to the sugar party in September???

  247. DelicateEbonySB says:

    @SDTS: “we will assume you have a weight problem.”

    =) ROTFL

    I will add to the fact that if a guy don’t want to talk allowance we will assume you are a trailer park trash poor dude who can’t afford us.

  248. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Jack – A week in the Caribbean sounds like just what this girl needs. Hope we get to spend some time together before you find ‘the one’. And you can show me exactly why Houston is the best city to live in. 🙂

  249. Tina says:

    @Jack – I haven’t been to the French Riviera, but I have been to the Spanish, and found it absolutely mesmerizing. I hope you get to go and enjoy it with someone you enjoy time with.

  250. Jack says:

    Treasured, Let me see what I can do about that this winter or Spring Break 2013, when my ex has my girls.

    On the other hand, I haven’t been to Europe in some time, and I love the French Riviera (haven’t been to the Spanish one–maybe time to change that), so maybe that’s the ticket, although beaching in Europe won’t be good in the winter, will it?

    So many options, so little time!


    P.S. To Tina–Right on! I couldn’t have said it better myself!

  251. Treasured says:

    Hmm….. Why after certain posts I feel like I have eaten way too much cake and desperately need a gherkin? 😀

    And, Jack, a week on the beach with you in the Caribbean – you can count me in! 😀 😛

  252. Tina says:

    There is a common belief that if you focus on negativity, you bring it into your life, but if you focus on positivity, you bring that into your life instead. People are drawn to positive thinkers, since it is usually much more fun to be around people who are looking at the world with a positive slant as opposed to the “Eyores” of the world.

    And yes, no one can be positive all of the time. That is why, for me at least, I feel that a good match (regardless of the type of relationship) is one where the other person can be your positive beacon when your day may be a little cloudy….or hurricane like at times.

  253. Jack says:

    To BEB,

    I have never said I am “tired of all the SB games”–in fact, I have simply shared what I have learned from my experiences and how I plan to approach it now (direct my attention to SB’s who aren’t primarily focused on the money up front, such as those asking for over $3000). I have been clear that the two negative experiences I had did not sour me on SA or women or anything else.

    I have never doubted that there are SB’s on SA that would (and do) treat their SD’s with respect, and as I have posted, I am “keeping looking.” I believe you have previously posted that you are in Canada, and since I am looking for more of a girlfriend than an arrangement, the distance from Canada to Houston makes that sort connection difficult (this is a note to Treasured, the self-appointed blog matchmaker! LOL). As is true of you, BEB, Treasured herself would be someone I would be interested in getting to know better, but given that she is in Europe, that geographical issue is a problem. These circumstances do lend themselves to a weekend or longer connection here and there–either in Houston, or Canada or Europe, or even the Carribean and such–but understandably, many pot SB’s are not interested in these intermittent-type connections since they are looking for a “steady” SD, not someone to spend a weekend or week with every few months. Although I am looking more for a GF than an arrangement, I am willing to do these intermittent weekend connections in the interim until I find the woman that I want to enter an exclusive, committed relationship with.

    Finally, I agree wholeheatedly with Travelersb that the problems that arise on SA are mirrored by problems in the real world. I also believe in screening well, but despite that, sometimes things don’t turn out as we hope. Personally, when that happens, I try to learn from it and move on. I don’t dwell on it because to do so is simply to re-live a negative experience. Who wants to do that?


  254. travelersb says:

    I think that it is not about sugar dating. One day, someone has try to convince me that ”sugar dating is bad because, in the end, I am just a toy to my sd and every man gets bored of his toys”. I think that person was right, but that it is like that in real life also. So I convinced that person that I have as many chances to find a respectuous sd than a respectuous boyfriend.

    We all have our own experiences and get hurt at one point. That is not a good reason to become bitter or jadded. This is a hard and unfair world, but I screen a lot and trust my instinct about who I can trust and who I cannot. Sometimes I am dissapointed, but at the end of the day, I know that I am an adult and I am responsible for myself. If a sd dumbs me before he respected his promises (which already happend), I may be a bit frustrated, but I would still be appreciative for what he gave me before. Everything is a question of perspective: is it a half-full or half-empty glass? Seing it half-full helps me to not become bitter or jaded when someone betray my trust. I’d still like my glass to be completly full though.

  255. Tina says:

    I agree with BEB – there are still women, not just SBs, who are willing to take a new chance and put themselves out there for every new companion. Yes, it’s hard to do, but it’s something I’ve committed to doing. For me, it’s not fair to someone new to be punished for something someone in a past relationship has done to me. Do I get hurt? Sometimes. But for me there are great benefits as well; one of them is that I don’t waste precious time with someone going through the motions of sorting through my own baggage. I put myself out there, and if I’m not what someone wants (or vice versa), we can move on without investing too much time and effort.

    But, of course, that’s just my opinion. No one else is wrong in the way they feel or what they do, and that’s the beauty of the human condition. It makes life so much more interesting.

  256. Treasured says:

    Boys, I suggest you meet up with BEB and restore your faith in SBs.
    And, BEB – men do not get hints 😀 So I am acting as a blog cupid 😀

    Mwaaahh to everybody!

  257. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Jack and SD4ONE and all other SDs who are tired of SB games- There are those of us on here who would treat you with the respect you deserve (says what she means and means what she says). Keep looking. She’ll be along shortly …or she could be right in front of you … 🙂

  258. Treasured says:

    @SD4ONE? “I thought one woman might be different than another and have independent thought. I guess they’re all the same”

    Find a nice girl, with no experience is Sugar dating, make sure YOU treat her right, and then SHE might be faithful.
    Or, take time and patience, and prove to the deserving girl, that you are not going to dump her after one month, lie to her that she is just the only one and also make sure you keep all your promises.

    Unfortunately, a LOT of SBs on here did HAVE bad experience (and I can admit that I did too. I was naive and trusting, and was exactly that much “different”, I would actually call that being stupid). But when you have been lied to, cheated on and your trust has been broken one too many times – you DO change.

  259. SD4ONE? says:

    “I’ve never really considered my SB seeing other SDs as cheating.” If the understanding between you was that she would see other SDs then it isn’t cheating. If you agreed to be exclusive then it is.

    “I understand women. I also understand SBs. They often keep several SDs on the radar at a given time so they can maximize their income as well as have backups in case one flakes out on them.” Wow, thanks for simplifying that for us SDTS! I thought one woman might be different than another and have independent thought. I guess they’re all the same. 🙁

    I will agree with you on the background verified stuff. Is this being jammed down our throat or what. Is anyone in favor of this?

  260. SDTS says:

    3 Myths All Sugar Babies Should Know About:

    Myth #1: Some Sugar Daddies on the site are “picture collectors.”

    Fact #1: Nobody is “collecting” your pictures. Either you don’t have pictures of your entire body and face up and we are asking for more, or you don’t have enough pictures up, period. When your pictures don’t match what we had imagined from your blurry pic or your headhshot, we move on. That’s why guys ask for pictures and then vanish. It’s because you didn’t provide full, honest pictures up front.

    Myth #2: Taking pictures from way above your head, pictures of you lying down (taken from above your head) or pictures of your in the bathroom mirror, while sitting on the counter or hiding behind the counter will make it all go away.

    Fact #2: We know what you’re doing. In every one of those pictures, you are trying to make your eyes look bigger, your boobs look bigger and your legs vanish. If you don’t provide real pictures, we will assume you have a weight problem.

    Myth #3: A serious Sugar Daddy should send me money before I meet him.

    Fact #3: No actual Sugar Daddy is inexperience enough in life to fall for that one. We do not send or wire money to people we haven’t met, period. You should always expect money on your first date because you need to be compensated for your time. However, do not expect us to send you money before we ever meet you. It won’t happen.

  261. SDTS says:

    @Tina: Yes, yes, YES! Nothing is more important than total communication. It’s true of all relationships, be it a marriage or an arrangement.

  262. SDTS says:

    Weird. I’ve never really considered my SB seeing other SDs as cheating. I understand women. I also understand SBs. They often keep several SDs on the radar at a given time so they can maximize their income as well as have backups in case one flakes out on them. Who can blame them? I’d do the same thing in their shoes. I don’t even mind if my SB checks Seeking Arrangement while we are having down time. No big deal.

    As for these “background verified” profiles… does anyone else find themselves staying as far away from them as possible? The idea that my SB would get verified kind of weirds me out. I think I’m capable of my own screening, thanks.

  263. Treasured says:


    Not delivering (whatever has been promised from both sides).

    Getting greedy (from both sides).

  264. Tina says:

    How about a blog topic of “Top 5 Ways to Sour Sugar”? Lack of communication being one of them. Not communicating your expectations of the relationship (allowance, monogamy versus not, duration, exit strategy, etc) can sour sugar faster than anything I’ve seen on this site. Honesty is another, anyone else have something for the remaining 3 sugar-souring items?

  265. Miss D says:

    @SD4ONE, yes I will try, I do shift work so I’m resting right now. To be honest it’s tiring, but it allows me to be miss independent. Thanks for your concern,hunn.
    I totally agree with a lot of what people are saying about communication is KEY. That’s why I wanted to be in this type of relationship to know what to expect all the time because everything is agreed upon prior.The problem with some sds or sbs is things are communicated in the beginning and not followed up on. Ex. if you say “nsa relationship and you can date whoever” in the beginning , if that feeling changes you need to now communicate, “I’m falling for you, so I now want it like this”. If the person agrees okay fine. Nothing should be assumed.
    I personally want a bf/gf relationship or exclusive relationship, it would be ideal. However, if they want an nsa and are opened to other people I will surely keep my eyes opened only. If it is exclusive, I will stay exclusive and jump for joy. Thanks for the discussion guys.

  266. JustAThought SD says:

    Re: Multiple SD/SBs

    Communication is the key as always. Know that part of the agreement up front. And know that if you’re not the type to be exclusive, then be honest about it.

    If you’re an sb that has an SD that IS only attempting to see you, picking up a few extra sd’s is a good way to ruin an “exclusive” sd. Of course, he may try to avoid future pain,express himself, or feel his masculinity by having multiple sb’s the next time. In turn this may ruin some “exclusive” sb’s. And the cycle continues.

    If you treat someone like they DON’T have multiples, they may or may not disappoint you. Treat someone like they DO have multiples, and they will usually try to meet your expectations.

  267. Jack says:

    I agree with SD4One’s comment (and disagree with hard-working Miss D!) that if I request exclusivity, I offer it as well. On the other hand, if I am in my “search” mode (as I am now), then I think the pot SB’s are entitled to be in their own search mode, too.

    I anticipate that once I have found the SB with whom I feel a strong connection, I would treat it as more of a BF/GF relationship and I would want (and expect it) to be exclusive–I wouldn’t feel like exclusivity has been forced on me. That’s the way I was (ie, monogamous) in all my previous relationships, and it is how I was during my (now-dear-departed) marriage. I don’t think that the fact that I find my next relationship through SA will change how I have been all my life.

    Just my two cents worth–which may not represent how most SD’s think.


  268. SD4ONE? says:

    @Miss D
    I hope you can stop working so damn hard and get some rest. “I find it so silly that an sd can have more than one sb but an sb cannot even talk to more than one sd without being seen as some “hoe.”
    Miss D – that’s not how we all feel. I have a feeling a lot of SD’s believe that if it’s exclusive that goes for both SD and SB. If it’s open, it’s open.

    I suppose we all judge from our most recent experiences. Mine had two SB’s wanting to have other irons in the fire. Maybe they feel like Treasured that SD’s can’t be trusted.

    I’m with Jack – be honest and state your intentions clearly even if that’s NOT what the other person wants to hear. I’ll keep my search going since it seems that there are many who want exclusive arrangements. The only problem is – the searching is exhausting! I ain’t as young as I used to be!! 🙂

  269. Tina says:

    @PhoneGuy: I’m a good girl in public. Private is a different matter 😉

  270. travelersb says:

    @VASD, I like the idea of agreeing to try the relationship for a specific period of time and renew if it works. Even some marriages should be like that lol.

  271. Danielle says:

    I thought NSA was supposed to mean just that. NO STRINGS ATTACHED.

    I honestly figure a man in the position to be a SD would have as many SB’s as he could
    handle to satisfy everything he is looking for. You know, a redhead one day and a blonde the next.
    I wouldn’t presume that I was my SD’s only SB and vice versa .
    I would only honor it if it was asked of me specifically as part of the arrangement.
    But, to me if that happens then the NSA relationship has just become a Monogamous relationship.

  272. Miss D says:

    VASD, Iol, that was only 40% of the experience, so that was a summary. We did talk about us having the right to wonder off, as long as we told each other. I had someone that I was interested in but he was overseas and he knew about it. He knew I had guy friends and use to go out with them on just dates. I was very loyal, but I have one dinner with an sd as a friend only and it’s over! However, I guess we did not talk about me specifically speaking to other sds. Also, he spoke to other sbs because he would even tell me. The problem is some sds take offense when their sbs moves onto another sd and don’t care if it’s a regular guy. It’s like their pride and ego gets bruised because their sb may have moved on with a more successful man ( their direct competition). So, just bringing up that issue of ego and pride. Maybe this situation would have been different with a married man, but he was single.

  273. PhoneGuy says:

    >When I did Monogomous vs. Polyamorous poll on another blog, everyone seemed to be saying poly was the way to go.
    @SD4one, I’m not saying this is the case here, but this blog tends to exhibit some herd mentality. It’s not easy to stand up and voice unpopular opinions at times…or opinions that may make you look “bad” to the majority.

    >But, that’s just me. I guess I don’t multitask well
    I knew my Tina was a good girl. 😉 😀

  274. VASD says:

    @MissD You don’t need to go into detail, but I think a good idea to let the SD know you may (or reserve the right to) have other irons in the fire (so to speak). I’m married, so obvious I have other things going on in my life, but always like it said up front–I’ll even say it–that the SB is perfectly welcome to have other relationships. Hopefully she’ll be smart and SAFE, and make some effort to keep things balanced so it doesn’t interfere with the times we’ve planned to be together. I’ve been with SBs who have steady boyfriends, even a couple of flings with ladies who were engaged.

  275. SweetHuniUK says:

    @WCSD – thank you. I thought that the green head and shoulders might have meant online too but when I looked at a few they weren’t online – unless I checked at the crucial time they had signed off!

    I have also experienced multi-profiles of the same person coming up! Teething problems with the new look I expect..


  276. VASD says:

    @Jack As an SD I MUST be a liar, but I appreciate your lies and tend to see the world just like you (unless I’m lying, of course).

    As in previous posts, I’m always very straightforward about my offers and expectations. I always deliver on what I promise within the time frame that I’ve promised it. I have had several longer-term (8mos to 1+ yr) sugar relationships, but, as you describe, these have started out in ‘dating’ mode–a trial period of weeks or months. I also always like to have a defined period established up front (we are agreeing/hoping that this will last x months) with an option to renew–which frequently happens.

    God’s honest truth–or was that a lie?

  277. Miss D says:

    @SD4ONE yes dammit, sds should provide souls too did you not know that , lol. I did not even notice that I wrote that, probably wrote that sleep deprived after working my third 12 hour shift in a row. Ideally, I’m looking for one sd but would not mind having a pot sd too if I was still unsure of the relationship. However, having two or more is a lot of work, a lot of time, and can sometimes end very badly.
    My personal experience was I had two once, kind of happened by accident. However one was the main one, the other one was a pot/friend, who eventually became my sd. I never gave sugar to the pot sd until he became my sd. My main sd and I ended our relationship because he found out I went to dinner with that pot sd. I then started with the pot sd shortly after. As soon as my old sd heard that I had a new sd and we were hooking up due to a mutual friend, my life became hell on earth. Who knew that the sds shared a close friend. I find it so silly that an sd can have more than one sb but an sb cannot even talk to more than one sd without being seen as some “hoe”. Our relationship was an nsa, but it all came down to ego. I was left with no one, cause the old sd was so crazy, so jealous, which forced the new sd to go running for the hills, fearing for what may happen to him.
    So since this experience I would most likely tell any sd if I have more than one or not. However, I highly doubt that I would ever want more than one if the arrangement is solid.

  278. CandyTush says:

    @treasured I love how incredibly sensual French and Italian guys are (from my experiences). But I have come across some nut jobs in Rome and Milan, so ladies beware!!

  279. Jack says:

    Well-done, Treasured, I hope your pot fulfills your dreams and puts that missing trust back in you! It’s a much better to live life as a truster (but verifier!)–even if our trust is sometimes abused and makes us feel used.

    And as you well know, Treasured, had you lived in the States (or I in Europe), I would have already shown you how “open-minded” and “adventurous” I am–in addition to being honest!

    But, since that cannot be, I do HONESTLY (there goes that word again!) wish you the best of luck with your new pot!

    Keep us posted on the developments!


  280. CandyTush says:

    Hello everyone!

    After months of reading, laughing and learning from the blogs, I’ve finally decided to start commenting.
    I am in love with so many people on these blogs, it’s gonna be hard to find my sd 🙂

    But if anyone has a moment, I’d appreciate some constructive critism on my updated profile #1074937

  281. Treasured says:

    And French and Italian men are just HORRIBLE! Ladies, if you meet a French SD – run ASAP 😀 LOL

  282. Treasured says:

    Jack, I know that you are an exception to the rule 😀 Mwaaahhh 😀
    But, as I have said, exceptions just prove the general rule.

    Another thing is, that I happen to live in Europe… And, have no idea why, but the mentality of men and SDs especially, is very much different than in the States. Men here are generally more open minded, more spoiled and, let’s say, adventurous.

    But….. I am… Communicated with a possible SD at the moment… Who is what I always wanted and how I imagined the SD to be. So, we will see if he manages to get my trust in men back 😀

  283. Jack says:

    To Treasured,

    Good to see you posting again–I generally agree with you–but I in this case, am so sorry you believe so strongly that ALL SD’s lie. Having not dated any SD’s (LOL), I cannot speak about other SD’s, but I do NOT lie, not in SB relationships and not in the real world. My problem is probably the opposite, I am too honest. That means sometimes I tell pot SB’s (and other people) things they would rather not hear, but I don’t lie. Life is complicated enough–I don’t need to complicate it more by lying. Plus it ain’t my style.

    And I ALWAYS do what I say I will do–though it may not be what the other person WANTED me to do, or EXPECTED me to do..

    That is why I will not commit to an (imaginary longterm) SB relationship up front. Instead, I will “date” the pot SB (with appropriate–if it can be agreed upon–sugar along the way) before I will commit to a “longterm” arrangement. Indeed, my first two trials were aborted before the month was up, even though the sugar had been fully delivered.

    I wonder if we have any other truth-telling SD’s that post here.

    Of course, given that “all SD’s lie,” I am probably lying in my above statements, right?


  284. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    I know I am extremely lucky in that my SD ONLY wants me but has also given me permission to play if I tell him. Some men actually get turned on by sharing. Not for me to judge but I’ll certainly reap the benefits. 🙂 Because that is how the relationship was set up, that’s what I expect and would be hurt if he found someone else. With any concurrent SDs, all this is up for negotiation. With my remoteness I don’t expect monogamy or allowance actually. It’s a bonus if it happens however. And I never lie and trust my SD implicitly.

  285. Treasured says:

    @travelersb – Exceptions just prove the general rule 😀
    And, nope. Moi is better with not trusting anybody 😀 It is like in Rihanna’s song “Good girl gone bad” 😀
    I suggest all SDs listen and memorise 😀 And, when the question of “why all beautiful women are such bitches” arises, listen to it again 😀

  286. travelersb says:

    @Treasured, I would agree with you that most sugar relatinships work like that. But there are always exceptions and once you know someone for a little while, maybe you could trust him a bit more.

  287. Treasured says:

    @Frank – But everybody does 😀

    And, of course, everybody has to have back up in the bank :)))) It is common sense. But about trusting…. Afraid not. No one can be trusted 100% in a sugar relationship. That is the reality of life.

  288. Frank says:

    Treasured: You sound like Dr. House: “everybody lies” However, I do think a sugar relationship keeps the lying to a minimum.

    So in a sugar relationship I say Trust but verify. If a SD says he will pay you x amount, believe him, but have some back up funds in the bank in case he disappears. If a sb says you are the only one, believe her, but expect her to have some one on the back burner.

  289. Treasured says:

    Hi all :))

    Haven’t been around for a while. I honestly don’t get it how all of you have so much time to dedicate to this blog 😀 Me with my “normal” life, SD dating and other admirers have almost none.

    But, as for the topic of the SB/SD dating.
    ALL SUGARBABIES want just ONE man. Full stop. One person, whom they can rely onto, who will support them, treat them and make sure, that even after the arrangement is finished, the lady will be cared for an additional 3 months, so she has time to find a new Sugardaddy.

    BUT, back to planet Earth. I have never heard of THAT happening. Promises and beautiful words is a one thing, but reality is different. Once a SD has experienced, the power sugardating gives him – he is spoiled for life. Simple as that. Once you have learned, that sugar gives you the power to date beautiful women, SDs are like kids in a candy shop – choice is endless. All depend on how easily and fast they will get bored with a particular flavour.

    When I just first entered the sugarworld, I was naive and trusting. Made up my mind to have ONLY ONE SD. Guess what, after a month he said he wanted a break for one month, and will see me the month after (although beforehand, we had an agreement, that even if he can’t meet, I will still get my allowance for exclusivity with him.)
    Those days are gone 😀 Half a year in a sugarworld taught me a few lessons:
    1)NEVER EVER rely on men. No matter what they say.
    2)Lying is the way of life. You know that he lies, he knows (or, now actually, doesn’t) that you lie. Take it and live with it.
    3)One day, and it will happen sooner than later – he will get bored of you, and either take on additional SB or simply dump you. Usually with no warning given.

    So, sorry, but now I (even though I would want to have just ONE man to be with) juggle 1 main SD, and at least 2 are on call.

  290. J Provocateur says:

    This part about home massage is so boring. I hate when a guy instead of offering a nice SPA says “u r so tired, I’ll do u a massage”. I enjoy the massage provided only by the professional masseuse, amateurs annoy me.
    But that part about beautiful presentation of diamonds and trip to an island I would really love and appreciate.

    Hope everyone have great summer vacation 😉

  291. SD4ONE? says:

    Yes – best of both worlds seems to be what some are looking for – maybe most as you’ve suggested. My first arrangement included a decent budget (similar to gtt_envy’s), lots of events and shopping trips and a trip to Europe was planned. She liked all that and was great company but wanted to keep up a friends with benefits relationship and continue looking for another SD.

    The result was similar to what “real” couples do when not happy – if you can do it, I can do it. Problem was, I had no trouble finding another who did NOT want the outside interests. I agree with LoveWestCoastGirl’s observation. A lot of options get presented to guys so it’s easy to move on.

    Still a little regret for what could have been tho! 🙁

  292. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    I came to conclusion that all this Sugar dating SPOILs even good guys.!
    They got spoiled with all this attention and care they get (even before they meet a girl and after they meet a girl).
    At regular dating sites a guy has to send 30 mails to get 1 date (or may be he will not get one date even within a few moths) and at SA or even What is your price a guy gets! 30 mails a day and a date and may be even intimate relationship in first weeks.

    I think guys get spoiled, get addiction to shop around , get used to get smiles, compliments , great time with girls 25 years younger … they can not stop.

    I was thinking that I would not even want to have a long term relationship with a guy who had done sugar dating , they do not appreciate a girl’ attention as much as a regular guy.
    Although there are always exceptions :)))

    I am happy there are smart guys who would be satisfied with one candy.:) your SB is lucky you prefer a long time arrangement.

  293. ContentSB says:

    @SD4ONE – I think most people want the best of both worlds…wouldn’t it be great if we all found that one outstanding SD/SB, but also had the freedom to occasionally play elsewhere without jealousy creeping in? Sometimes it can be difficult to have ALL of our needs met by one person, so that’s in part what makes polyamory appealing. But, what sounds great in fantasyland doesn’t always translate into something awesome in reality. Hypothetically, both sound fun in their own ways and a solid case could be made for either.

  294. SD4ONE? says:

    OK, so Tina, Blue Eyed Beauty, travelersb and I LoveWestCoastGirl are looking for ONE SD.

    I’m confused. (Don’t worry ladies, this happens easily!) 😉
    When I did Monogomous vs. Polyamorous poll on another blog, everyone seemed to be saying poly was the way to go.

    So, one SD and other non-SD relationships?

  295. gtt_envy says:

    @westcoast girl you may very well be right regarding diamond daddies……maybe when.you. have a sugar budget of 100k+ a year you do shop? A normal SD lije myself not only do I prefer longterm arrangements I can only spoil one girl my budget is not 10k/mo its 2500/mo….so dont assume all guys are shopping around.

  296. Catherinebaby says:

    I think that it’s extremely important that you set it out straight before meeting the man, especially if he’s new in the whole idea of sb/sd. My previous experience was pretty horrible. He’d never talk about $$ because he said it was a turn-off. And on the first meet-up he thought that sb/sd arrangement is an alternative arrangement for escorts in a more subtle way. In other words, pay for play even though he had never mention it before the meeting. He thought that allowance is only provided in return for sex. Something that probably a lot of new SD’s aren’t aware of. Sb’s are not sex workers.

  297. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    I want ONE only guy.
    I have a job, a child, many interesting hobbies and duties.
    You wrote “if many girls want one SD if he can provide”… SD does not have to provide for my life style but his financial (and other support) would be deeply appreciated .

    If I find a guy who is good for me and he can “provide” may be only $1000 a month (coz some guys do not understand/feel right to provide big cash allowances) but he is loyal to me, stays with me for many months, treats me to wonderful things he can afford (vacation, concerts, fancy clubs) and provide good sex – why would I look for any body else? I will not.
    why would I waste my time to look for one more SD ? screening , e mailing, lunches, dinners with guys I do not want to see even for second date?
    I better go take yoga class or play tennis with my son.
    I so do not like to shop around (my time is precious to me!!!) if a guy provide me monthly allowance – I am so appreciative . He saves so much of my time, I do not need to look for anybody, I know I am with him.

    And who wants to exchange BODY fluids !!! ??? with a bunch of guys? for me extremely difficult to sleep with a new partner (but drinks help:) thanks G I have very low level of alcohol dehydrogenase.

  298. travelersb says:

    @SD4ONE – Eventually, I want only one sd. but as long I don’t feel 100% secure, I will keep my options open.

  299. Tina says:

    Crap, meant to say Coltrane (not Coultrane – dammit!). And if you’re wondering, it’s Big Momma Maybelle Thornton I was referring to………..

  300. Tina says:

    Oh, and @SD4One: a little Muddy Waters never hurt one looking for some soul baby 😉 (or Coultrane, or Stevie Wonder, or Ray Charles, or Big Momma, or…..)

  301. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    I would only want one SD but with my remoteness, I’m afraid that’s unlikely. But I am honest with my current ‘part time’ SD and any pot SDs. Monogamy is not necessary for everyone.

  302. Tina says:

    @SD4One: I, personally, am only looking for 1 SD, although I don’t require monogamy. For me, I have too much going on to try to juggle multiples, and if I tried I would end up having multiple “eh” relationships instead of one amazing one. But, that’s just me. I guess I don’t multitask well 😉

    Plus, I don’t see the need in my life for more than one. I’m self-sufficient, and am not using sugar to do anything but help get me to my goals just a little faster, as well as add a few new experiences to my life. The right SD will do it, and only 1 needed.

  303. SD4ONE? says:

    “That’s why I would advise any sb looking for sincere financial assistance to make sure her sd is not her soul provider” OK, we have to provide finances, fancy clothes, love and care and now we gotta provide soul?!?!? I ain’t got no soul baby! 😉

    “I personally want one sd, however with the disappearances and changing of minds that I have seen with sds, I think I need two and find my self always shopping.” That’s very close to an explanation I read on a profile some time ago. “One or two men so that obligations can be shared.” So the mono vs poly issue raises its head again.

    Do most SB’s want just ONE SD if he can provide? Are they only looking for the second, third, etc. if #1 one can’t provide what she needs?

  304. Tina says:

    @SDinLA: you realize that your link means that you’re a minion now too, right? Just taller 😉

  305. Tina says:

    @SDinLA: there is a comment for you that is being moderated…….you’ll know it when you see it………and ignore the “extras” that were automatically put in by the blog itself (you’ll know what I mean when it comes up)

  306. Tina says:

    @SDinLA: Let’s see if this gets moderated……(you’ll figure out where I added spaces)

    http :// http://www.animatedgif.net/animals/dogs/dogpiss_e0.gif

  307. Tina says:

    @SDinLA: you little monkey! I had to scroll and scroll and scroll…..you get the picture, but I finally found it! I love it though! 😉 I’ll get you back, don’t worry.

    And what’s up with the kitten picture for your gravatar? Really? You just had to add a little pussy to the blog, didn’t you?

    @Content: I KNOW! I’m so sad…….I want my emoticons back! (crosses arms and huffs)

  308. travelersb says:

    I guess that my shopping included a lot of sugar in fact. We have to recognize that sometimes, maybe we don’t find exactly what we look for but along the road that brings to the stable sd with a stable allowance, we come across a lot of incredible experiences.

  309. travelersb says:

    In my experience, the ”shopping” has been funnier than the ”real sugar” until now. I was not shopping at all when I had my sd. But I have a feeling that my new pot will be funnier than the ”shopping” and will be ”very real sugar”. 🙂

  310. Miss D says:

    @SD4ONE, yes I agree sbs do shop around too. Some sbs shop around cause they can, and others shop around because they have no choice. They know how sugar relationships are and if they need to survive they need to make sure there is always one waiting in the wings. So I guess you can say both sexes shop. In my personal opinion I think sds will shop even if their sd/sb relationship is still great, I think it has something to do with the fact that finding an good sd is a lot harder than finding a good sb. Why have one when you can have so many sbs? I personally want one sd, however with the disappearances and changing of minds that I have seen with sds, I think I need two and find my self always shopping.

  311. HoneyBee says:

    @IloveWestCoastGirl- I think that was discussed on a previous blog and somebody, don’t remember, was like “just because they have verified millions, doesn’t mean they are willing to share it” or something of that nature. What about the one’s who claim to have successful SD’s or SB’s but re-register to have a newer profile or still have a fairly (almost daily login/hidden) profile?…Also, I was just watching a tv show yesterday in which a wealthy woman asked one of her close friends why she keeps dating the wrong men. He stated something that I think was very true or at least to me. He told her ” You tend to date men who are in your lane because they should possess qualities that you are looking for. After getting to know them you find that they don’t.” So with that said, I personally, don’t understand why people feel that they should only date in their income bracket or higher, then date regular people I guess. (Kristen and Rob)

    -Any who (OAN) this blog is safely dedicated (partially) to my “sex to Impress and or Keep” topic as I stated in the last blog. As well as the Nightline blog where Monty’s main and only SD has several other SB’s. My opinion, we all WISH/HOPE to find that ONE that fits all our needs and wants, but is it really possible? And if we do, it’s too good to be true so some people end my mind-f**king themselves by human nature and mess things up with the “too good to be true” person. Resulting in having multiples.

  312. Miss D says:

    @ I love west coast girl, you are so right, a lot of sds just never can’t stop shopping. Just cause they can, and that’s what I find a disadvantage of sugar relationships you just never know how long the sugar will flow. That’s why I would advise any sb looking for sincere financial assistance to make sure her sd is not her soul provider. She should be independent and see the financial assistance as only an enhancement to her life. Another good example of a fictional sugar relationship is the one and only Victor and Sharon Newman in the young and restless soap opera. The young and restless does a good job portraying Victor’s sd/sb relationships. Always, a new woman or wife every couple of months, lol.

  313. SD4ONE? says:

    The cameraman Danny Motor?

    That’s almost as good a name as the dentist Ron Freeze or the optometrist Al Lens? Both real people – honest! 🙂

  314. SD4ONE? says:

    I LoveWestCoastGirl
    I’m sure us SD’s keep shopping. Don’t SB’s as well? I’ve had two arrangements that lasted longer than a few months. Both SB’s wanted to keep options open but continue with me. Besides the obvious “I’m not quite what they were after” conclusion, could it be that SB’s like to keep shopping as much as SD’s?

    Is it just that both sexes want more, more, more?

  315. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Julie Roberts finally found happiness with Danny Motor who I think was a cameraman.

  316. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Miss D. Thank you for understanding. It is kind of sad at the end – she is so good for him but he still shop for more candies in Manhattan, a SD just can not stop 🙂

    if you think it is not the reality – look at SA diamond members – same guys for almost a year. Why? Is it so hard to find a good beautiful 25 y younger girl at SA? No, there are plenty ! Of the SBs. why they continue to shop around?
    I know I was very good with my guy, I am 22 y younger than he is, I am real, caring, 36C, fun, smart and sexy (sex was good, and he was married for many years to Polish girl, so I am his type) , not a pro, have education and job … but … SDs just can not stop and keep shopping ….may be they run into Andriana Lima … They hope.


    SDinLA is so close to Hollywood – he would know a lot about this movie stuff. 🙂

    AND !!! female actresses DO sleep with Camera men all the time (they just keep it secret 🙂

  317. a says:

    I have to agree. My sugar relationships are ongoing while my longest relationship only lasted two years. My longest sugar relationship is seven years and counting.

  318. SuzyGS says:

    I do so enjoy reading the helpful posts as well as the comments of this community.

  319. Miss D says:

    @I love west coast, the shop girl is def. a good example of an sd relationship. Oh gosh, that is exactly what my ideal sd/sb relationship to be like.

  320. WCSD says:

    @SDinLA – I don’t know if I’d agree that this was just an ‘affair’ (Kristen and director). OK, maybe no money was exchanged, but look at the dynamic. Most actresses (and actors) who cheat during a production is doing it with a director or another main actor. They aren’t fucking the PA, or the camera guy, or the crew member, they are attracted to the power people.

    Maybe that is just makes them more attractive (isn’t that one of the attractive attributes of us SD’s?), and it is just an affair. Also, I think it is more a self obsessed movie star AND director….it definitely isn’t one sided…

  321. WCSD says:

    @SweetHuniUK – I believe the green head and shoulders is to denote that the person is actually online.

    @flyr – I haven’t been getting only one page in searches, but I have been getting duplicates (sometimes many times over) of the same people in the searches. It has happened since the green head and shoulders showed up.

  322. SweetHuniUK says:

    HI – Maybe the wrong place to ask

    Anyone know what the green ‘head and shoulders’ icon resembles on the profiles. I thought it was that they were verified (also with a tick below the profile stating verified) – but there are profiles with the green icon without the tick below?

    Thank you…x

  323. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    I can only repeat myself – when I grow up I want to be just like SDinLA (smart and sharp, and… drive Ferrari 🙂

    I think the good example of SD/SB relationship is the movie “The shop girl” with Steve Martin and C. Danes.

    It was realistic for S dating ( I thought) – he is much older, paid out her college loan ,he …had other girls and they bloke up pretty fast.

  324. SDinLA says:

    @Tina Did you see my special message to you in the last blog? (There was a link in it for you, so it got moderated.)

    Re: this blog entry. Yes yes, we all want to chat about all things sugar related, or else we would not be here, but to try to use Kristen Stewart and Rupert Sanders as an example of a SD/SB situation is silly.

    She makes 10 times as much money as he does. Possibly more. They had an affair. Affairs happen ALL the time on movie sets- you’re away from loved ones, you spend lots of time with the people you’re shooting the film with, often in remote locations. It has NOTHING to do with sugar.

    A list of ways to keep things fresh is a good idea, trying to equate that situation with sugar as a reason why you need to keep things fresh? Pointless and inaccurate. Pattinson and Stewart did not have a SD/SB relationship. Neither did she and the director. It was just a self-absorbed movie star having an affair, period.

  325. flyr says:

    I am not sure what’s happening. As of today a search that should bring up hundreds brings up only one page of results. I have not used the search function for some time . Anybody else seeing the same thing.

  326. mds007 says:

    Who cares if your sugarbaby cheats on you? You just get another one. And somehow I’m guessing robert pattinson will be just fine…

  327. ContentSB says:

    @Tina — Dang it! That came in handy a few times!

  328. Tina says:

    It’s ready, but with the new blog format it looks like I can’t add it – I’m so sad 🙁

  329. ContentSB says:

    @Tina — exactly….get that beating the dead horse emoticon ready! 🙂

  330. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: what, no hello? Pffffft 😛

  331. Tina says:

    @Content – I agree with you and had the same reservations when I read the article. I think adding the wording “cheating” to sugar somewhat negates the NSA portion of sugar; after all, “sugar” is not synonymous with monogamy (we’ve had that conversation in many previous blogs).

    And you’re right, the tips aren’t specific to sugar, but to any type of relationship (including friendships).

  332. ContentSB says:

    Hmmmm I’m not sure I like this article….Cheating in sugar seems like an odd concept, because aren’t most arrangements NSA anyway? And, isn’t sugar typically more short-lived in comparison to traditional relationships?

    I like the tips for keeping things new and fresh, but they’re applicable to any relationship, not just sugar.

  333. SweetHuniUK says:

    Actually did a SD search on location UK – didn’t choose a county just hit the search button so I got the whole of the UK (I guess?) – 401 profiles came up – some full (orange members) some not (blue profiles) – surely that can’t be right….maybe the system is set to show a maximum of 401 profiles on a search or maybe that is the amount of SDs in the UK (of course there are those that have their profile hidden)

  334. SweetHuniUK says:

    Hey Smiley

    I am a UK too – when I did a search of the whole of the UK SDs there weren’t that many at all (I think about 400 ish that had the orange (full member profiles) that were recently active yet I believe there are far more women in the UK on the site.

    I started to feel a bit self-doubting as to why I hardly get any emails too – what was I doing wrong when there are so many amazing stories from SBs on here and their SD relationships but then they are usually SBs from outside the UK. I think generally the UK SDs don’t really ‘get’ the arrangement thing like the US ones do

    I don’t know how to look at profiles of the opposite sex but I’m sure you’re doing nothing wrong…it’s a man’s world on here !!

  335. PhoneGuy says:

    You were cheering her infidelity?

  336. NeCol says:

    Wow! What a lovely post! I can’t wait to show my future SD with LOVE and tons of affection. I miss being spoiled and pampered.

    Profile Number: 569210

  337. A X says:

    does kristen EVER smile? lol

    London babe here – #1106652


  338. Bree says:

    I was actually cheering for Kristen (for the first time EVER) when that story came out! Lol

  339. Manuel says:

    I’ll skip everything for a person who isn’t a outright flake…. This is getting to be crazy haha.

    Have a great day everyone.

    Profile #: 968992

  340. HoneyBee says:

    These are freaking awesome! I’ll skip the diamonds for a dress! *Foolish Behavior*

  341. Simplicity says:

    Great tips,I will be sending these to my SD’s.

  342. Smiley says:

    A big hello to the sugar community out there!

    I am a London based sugar baby and have been on this site for a little over two months now but I don’t seem to be attracting much SD attention. If anyone could take a look at my profile and give me some feedback it would be much appreciated! My profile number is 1113057.

    I’ve also loved reading this blog, please keep these articles coming in!

  343. nwsugarbaby says:

    I like these tips. I also hope everyone is having a great summer. My job keeps me busy thus little blog opportunities, but before I know it school will be back in session. I also take great pride in being able to self fund a lot of my education. Stay sweet out there y’all.

  344. Angela says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!