8 years ago
The 5 Things Successful Men Notice First in a Woman


A special blog by Seeking Arrangement CEO and Founder, Brandon Wade.

To understand what successful men look for in a woman, we have to look into how roles and responsibilities have shifted over the past few years.

Success noun \sək-ˈses\: the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence.

The women of our generation have become far more independent than their predecessors. The female workforce has greatly evolved, achieving places of power and success. Looking out onto Main Street, one can behold twenty-first century Rosie the Riveters exiting town cars into granite and glass buildings in Jimmy Choos and Christian Louboutins.

When exploring the developments of modern-day woman, you have to look into her counterpart: man. In ancient times, and by ancient I mean prior to the 1980s, men’s idea of a perfect woman was one-dimensional. Men sought out women who had the biological qualifications such as wide hips and full breasts for bearing children, as well as women who would generally make good “housewives.” It is easy to say the needs of successful men haven’t changed and dismiss the matter, but that is not true. The last recession had a sobering effect on American families: A singular breadwinner is a thing of the best. Men realized the need for two support beams in a family and soon the notion turned into an ideal, then a standard.

SeekingArrangement.com, is the largest website where generous men can meet attractive women. Currently, the website has over 1.7 million members worldwide. The website is home to many successful men (the average annual income of men on the website is $250,000 with the highest 10% averaging a network of 10 million each), all of whom actively seek companions, dates or soul mates. We surveyed three thousand of these men to find out exactly what a successful man notices first in a woman.

Almost all of these qualities were the same as what they notice in job seekers. Though successful men are not usually so public about their emotions, a bad breakup is seen as a scarlet letter to their circle of friends or colleagues. With that in mind, SeekingArrangement.com identified five of the most important qualities successful men notice first when considering dating a woman and assessing the possibility of a future with her.

The fifth most important quality successful men noticed in women was their hair. Most disapproved of women who had unkempt locks and/or sported an unnatural color or style. A man of stature is under constant scrutiny, but also keep in mind that he is likely an alpha male in his own right; running into colleagues or business partners at lunch would prove awkward and deeply embarrassing if he is seen with a moving Hot Topic ad. Keeping hair to a natural hue and focusing on how healthy it looks ups your chances greatly. After all, hair growth and quality is highly dependent on hormones and nutrition — an alpha male wants to show that he picked the best out of the dating pool.

A sense of self was the fourth on the list. A common deal breaker with employers during an interview is a candidates pretending or exaggerating their understanding of a certain subject. Our survey found that this was also a big pet peeve among successful men looking to date, particularly in cases where women lied about the extent of their knowledge when it came to current events, politics and culture.

Curious about the top 3 things successful men notice first in a woman?
Read the rest of Brandon Wade’s blog in The Huffington Post!

Leave a Reply

187 Responses to “The 5 Things Successful Men Notice First in a Woman”

  1. Curvy Cutie SB says:

    The article was good… The comments were entertaining.

    Alas I am officially screwed (or not?) because I will always look like I just rolled out of a bed designed for afternoon delight, or like my wild and untamed curls might have been through a wind storm unless I flat iron my curls and outside of my fringe bangs I occasionally sport. It is a horrible look for me to have my hair flattened completely.

    It has honestly reduced me to tears when a stylist thought they would “try it”. It is like

    Classic features, defined jaw, cheek bones that are high and flawless… Eyes that can make one wither or melt just with one look. Goodness me “flattened”, “straightened”, or excessively ‘smoothed” hair is such a failure on me that I have come to realize you can have artfully styled curls, with polished definition and it is perfect. Just as it is.

    Men don’t care if you have “messy hair” or are a “flawlessly coiffured” women if you look put together. In fact many times women with spiral curls who attempt to follow convention and tame their tresses are told they are “beautiful with curls”. Our wild and raucous hair becomes us, is part of who we are… So we might tame the smokey eyes a touch, or know to only play up the lips or the eyes… Never both because with our hair it is over kill.

    I just couldn’t resist commenting as I read back through past blogs.

  2. Milena Monette says:

    I was pretty sure I knew what all men wanted. I know what many of them have in common as far as preferences go, but I’ve come to realize that is not always the case either. Thanks for putting me on the straight and narrow. Now that you’ve laid out the statistics I’ll continue to be the best self I can be, and my best desirable.

    Great article. I enjoyed it. Thanks.

  3. EllenSugarB says:

    I voted today for the first time in my life!

    Last night I started thinking about how my mother and grandmother fought and protested for me to have the privileges that I have today. My mother (Democrat) was an active journalist during the civil rights movement. She never pushed her beliefs on me, but she did say “We fought for you to have the rights you have today; working, voting, birth control. Take advantage of these things and don’t lose what we worked for to give you a better future.” Then my Dad (Republican) said, “Most of us came to America from countries where we had no rights at all, and certainly no right to vote. You have to vote, Ellen.”

    Yay for me, I voted!

  4. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:


    You are correct,
    I always feel like crying then I read how women were fighting for their rights, how first magazines were created, and how wives of rich and powerful guys (who had everything ) still fought for the rights of poor women.

  5. CaribSB says:

    @WCSD…..Thanks for clearing that up and I understand your point of view 🙂

  6. sassyteacher says:

    Hi everyone! I’ve been busy correcting papers!

    I see all are fiery and in fine form!

    Here’s hoping that Romney will not be voted in. I’m Canadian and Romney and Harper, are a combo that I would rather not see. Two conservative, redneck, bible-thumpers ruling N.A.-no thanks!

    And, with regards to the original topic, I think many men are attracted to the following: 1-looks (face and body) 2-posture, self-assurance and care taken to look good (not plastic or heavily made-up) 3-sexiness and bedroom skills 4-conversational skills/inteligence/humour and 5-lack of vanity and self-absorption. Nothing worse than a woman who’s always looking at herself and rarely at you and is always looking around to see who’s watching her!


  7. WCSD says:

    @CaribSB – I apologize for you taking my comment as what you are doing as being a ‘stupid’ idea. I don’t have any problem with you wanting to get to know someone and build up the desire. All I was saying is have a rule that is X dates before I’d even consider sex is just a weird rule (ok…I said stupid rule). My point is it may take you X minus 3 dates to build up your desire or X plus 3 dates (or 5, or 10) for a particular guy, and for another guy it will be different. Really to me there is no rule that works for everyone. Also, I don’t think it matters whether it is a sugar relationship or a ‘regular’ relationship (what are those again?). They have different outcomes, but going in seems very similar in my case anyway….

  8. Honey says:

    Ilovewestcoastsb, you have been successfully disenfranchised….I vote…mostly out of the symbolic respect I feel for other women and other minorities who have not really had the vote for even a whole century. My grandfather was born into a world where he was not allowed to vote. People died,- were killed by other people who thought it important enough to stop them from doing so. and on the local level it really matters, I feel. So yeah, I take that minute or two, Honey is always willing to get her two cents in!

  9. RussianSB says:

    Actually Bush was looking just like good LTR SD, I always thought that, I don’t know about Bush politician … but he is simple high stability guy. And Clinton was so hot,
    hole world did envy you – if he was a SD it never finish with that dirty scandal . But here is opinion that republicans cook up that story 🙂

  10. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    I am not going to vote tomorrow.
    I think Obama is going to win anyway .

    May be it is a wrong attitude ; and I wish they would have let Hilary Clinton run 4 years ago.

  11. EllenSugarB says:

    Wow, Honey, thank you for telling me about “The Handaids Tale.” That was really interesting – and, yes, it sounded crazy scary!

  12. Honey says:

    .I’ve seen this scenario before EllenSB, it was called, ” the Handmaid’s Tale” too scary. Obama is going to win either way. I can afford to talk about shoes and shopping,I’m so sure he’s winning. I have friends who are nervous, they don’t get it. They care, but they don’t get it. But they are still sweet for caring, right?

  13. Honey says:

    CaribbeanSB, thanks for the compliment, I work my sugar like a job and like a job sometimes it can be stressful . But overall it has very nice perks to balance it out. And they are too easy to get used to. Have a Game Plan.
    Russian, thank you, I imagine you are all exotic and beautiful and very pragmatic and logical. And that makes me jealous, I am Rare and exotic to some, to a french , New Orleans girls and Tahitian girls are exotic and still familiar .Accents are sexy. Russian is still very exotic everywhere…..Poor American girl me…lol!

  14. RussianSB says:

    Don’t worry, dear, it is just part of campagne. Russia is our enemy, no abortion etc.
    No politician will do such unpopular things. He is just hitting his target group 🙂
    Cold War fans and religios fanatics.

  15. EllenSugarB says:

    I don’t know, Honey. Maya Angelou says “We are more alike than we are unalike, my friend.” but yes, Romney and Obama prob know one another better than the bloggies here.

  16. EllenSugarB says:

    EEEEKKK…Russian, you got me! Yes, last four years was better than the four years before that. Bush – not sexy. Obama – sexy. Romney – sexy, but I need birth control. Whats a girl to do in this predicament?

  17. RussianSB says:

    @EllenSugarB, now tell me the truth !!! Your last four year fucking was better than four year fucking before that ? All need to know before election !

  18. CaribSB says:

    @ Twiceshy …. You are either from the Caribbean or not, otherwise you are a visitor,lol!

    I’m from the Rock 🙂 and yes we are quite an eclectic mix here too.

  19. RussianSB says:

    Honey, you so right, as always. It is grate country, and you need someone smart and sexy to represent it. Today you have no choise at all 🙁
    People work hard for their wellbeing. To blame government in personal disasters is childish.

  20. EllenSugarB says:

    oops, I meant to write “look out” not “put…”

  21. EllenSugarB says:

    “Four more years of fucking who you want when you want as much as you want without any fear of pregnancy/abortion and making a jr corp exec salary from it? ”

    See…thats what I was trying to say lolololol

    and btw, twiceshy, I too told you to go out with both girls. Being “friendzoned” isn’t so bad after all is it 😉 I look put for my friends 🙂

  22. Honey says:

    I play with both sides, the world is really kind of small, too small to be totally absolute,I’ve worked with, lived ,been done business in the 4% most of my life. Strange bedfellows is too apt a cliche sometimes… The really rich don’t need government, or socialized healthcare and education. They take care of their own and being multinationals, don’t have to depend on Government interceding on their behalf for jobs or benefits. Only the servant/service class needs that.
    even with all that/this- Obama and Romney most likely have more in common with each other than with a lot of us on this blog…right?

  23. Tina says:

    Except for Phone Guy, who keeps getting lost when the gettin’ gets good 😉

  24. JustATequilaSD says:

    See everybody wins!!

  25. Tina says:

    @JaTSD: more like you’d be the one with the prize….booby prize that is…..

  26. RussianSB says:

    It is what I told ya , Twiceshy, I saw a lot of profiles in your area !
    I hope that we loosing you 🙂

  27. JustATequilaSD says:

    A few seconds after I block out the sun, it would then be hidden. And if you could hold on for more than 8 seconds you may even win a prize. Muahahaha.

  28. Tina says:

    @JaTSD: wow, just a few seconds? Uhhhh, so, @Phone Guy, how YOU doin’?


  29. JustATequilaSD says:

    I dont think there’ll be enough space in the room for three, once I unleash the beast. Dont worry, the eclipse will only last for a few seconds.

  30. Tina says:

    Oooooh, a threesome with Phone Guy and JaTSD – how did I get so dang lucky tonight?

    AWWWWW RIIIIGHT! Now if you guys weren’t so dang far away! PHOOEY!

  31. California SB says:

    JustATequilaSD: If I tell you my true story I am going to have to kill you after… so, don’t ask. 🙂

  32. JustATequilaSD says:

    You didn’t know I had my diploma in women? All that time at the pimp-monk monastery was well spent.

    Lips, hips, and my fingertips, just add you, for the best cocktail you’ve ever had. 😉

  33. Phoneguy says:

    Oh Tina, you know I love pouty mode!

  34. Tina says:

    @twiceshy: congrats! Now go rock that local SB! 🙂

  35. twiceshy says:

    @caribSB *blink* *blink* heeeyyy… You from the Caribbean? Just asking….because I might just be from the Caribbean too… 😉 What’s the good?

    @JustatequilaSD DUDE! You were so right! She was quite hot..and the friend. Was not so much, at least to me. She though … she was classic beauty. Really, she could model. That unique Caribbean mix that does funny things to you, hair curled just so, and falling over those delicate shoulders…. It was interesting. I’m intrigued. 🙂 Have to set up a 1 on 1 .

  36. Tina says:

    @JaTSD: like what? I’m innocent and have NO idea what a set of plump lips can do…..either set…..whoops, did I just say that? 😉

  37. JustATequilaSD says:

    No pouting. There are better uses for lips “mon cherie” *in pepe le pew voice*.

    I was simply attempting to put the moves on you and your mom and maybe a few of your cousins at the same time and you totally foiled my fiendish plans.

  38. Tina says:

    Hold up, I have to work all day and miss JaTSD, Phone Guy, Jack and WCSD on the blog at the same time? WTH? SO not fair! (crosses arms, stomps foot, sticks out bottom lip and goes into all out pouty mode)

  39. JustATequilaSD says:

    Your evasion is useless. I simply want your story, no cia coverup on the grassy gnoll. Still living vicariously through other people’s political views I see. So for the third time, tell me how horrible YOUR life has been these past four years so I can see the world through your eyes?

  40. California SB says:

    Northern…. sugar babies have political views too, imagine that!!

  41. northernsd says:

    This is the last place I expected to see politics discussed.
    Screw the election! Let anarchy rule!

  42. California SB says:

    Tequila dear…. you are prob the top 1% who is comfortably living off your investments and have no reality of the real world like the rest of us.. the 99%…..

  43. JustATequilaSD says:

    Only thing you can PROVE is where your life is right now. Tell me how horrible things are for you, so I can see how the last 4 years have been your own personal holocaust. Instead you simply repeat conspiracy theory and speculation. I’ve heard it all before. Tell me how you’re one of the 1% that will be so annoyed at steeper taxation. I’m the wolf in sheep’s clothing that won’t give a shit either way. 😉

  44. California SB says:

    I think people from this blog have been living in mars for the past 4 years…

  45. CaribSB says:

    @Honey…… I am happy to hear about your doing well. Love a feminine, ambitious, business woman and you are definitely that! 🙂

  46. CaribSB says:

    @ JustATequilaSD….Not taking any sides on this blog regarding current presidential race, especially being that I’m from the Caribbean :), but I must agree that in my interactions, anti-American sentiments have definitely decreased, and I notice this among people from other Caribbean neighbors, central america to European nationals. While I haven’t had much interaction with much arabic/muslim nationals (of course their hatred is to be categorized differently). It is certainly an accomplishment, as the US will now have more support in their corner than they did four years ago. ( I can hear it now, “shut the heck up girl from the caribbean”,lol)

  47. California SB says:

    Tequila, if you believe Bin Laden was killed and “thrown in the ocean”, if you believe Obama couldn’t have done any better, if you believe Lybia was not an inside job. Yes, my dear you do deserve Obama and yes YOU are the sheep.

  48. JustATequilaSD says:

    Not a fight, I don’t care who’s up there. Poor will always get handouts. Rich will always get loopholes. And the middle class will pay for it all. That’s the side you’d better choose to be on, top or bottom, because the middle is going to evaporate because of our attitudes, not because of our president.

  49. Honey says:

    Russia, it will be Obama, TequilaSd, Liberal guys are sexy as hell to me…ChinaRose,tell me your ad info again, if you still wanna. Ben busy business is picking up, talking to a guy who found me on this site, from another site, last year. I had just turned it on again, i was just kinda prepping to get ready to meet other guys in December..but two great guys answered and I don’t have the time to meet them. Being a full time sb IS time consuming and I have this business thing to balance too! exhilarating and tiring beyond belief, I am giddy from lack of sleep….So fucking busy I FORGOT to pay my rent! Was not too many years ago that that would have never happened… Everything is cool beans with me today, how about ya’ll?

  50. CaribSB says:

    @EllenSugarB….. I quite agree that there is a positive correlation with men who are more mature relationship-wise and long term minded regardless of what time sex is involved and yes I have found this to be true with both guys over 45 and mid 20’s and up. These same men are also, in some cases ok with waiting a few dates. I am currently dating multiple men quite a bit now and so it serves me well not to sleep with all the guys I am currently dating….. I am a little slut in terms of sexual needs, lol, but I don’t do the whole sleeping with 5 guys on and off thing. During this time of waiting, sometimes things come up that eliminate someone who was once a potential and increases the interest and desire for another. But I am seeing how it goes. Don’t think anyone here will care about the results in a few weeks, but I for one will know more 🙂

  51. JustATequilaSD says:

    **worst**not worse sry

  52. Honey says:

    Wow!!! I come back and this..cool !!! I have to catch up!! Fight !! Fight! Push her hair. Pull his pocket!!! Well Hi everyone. Feeling feisty are we?

  53. JustATequilaSD says:

    Blame Bush?? OK, yes blame Bush. Obama didn’t start a war over money (oil) and coincidentally have his VP as a huge shareholder in the construction company we sent over there. Obama found Osama, and started to bring our countrymen home. He’s also changed the attitude of many foreign countries into a more positive light, which will hopefully lead to less anti-American terrorism and sentiment. We still have an auto industry, and Americans have started getting more jobs in general. And you personally are not yet in the tax bracket that is so fearful of his “more tax on the rich” ideology. An ideology that Mr.Romney has already shown he will subvert with his personal money, by “attempting” to hide it offshore, and by having his companies outsource good american jobs to foreign countries. Of course, I’ve never been one to buy into sheep mentality. So before you spout rhetoric and dogma from the spin doctors and the commercials, you should really be able to formulate your opinions based on real life. If your life was so fucked up by the worse american pres ever, you wouldnt constantly be on the blog bragging about how great it is. Four more years of fucking who you want when you want as much as you want without any fear of pregnancy/abortion and making a jr corp exec salary from it? Seems kinda hypocritical to me, but this is just my humble opinion.

  54. RussianSB says:

    Thank you Ellen ! I have bottle of Coconut oil, absolutely not used, absolutely …
    Did you watch Clint Eastwood speech in Tampa ? Brilliant !

  55. RussianSB says:

    Relax, Romney will be your next president ! It was understood year ago.
    I know, I know , freedom to choose …
    Aha, and his talking about relation with Russia just part of campagne blah-blah, we are no offended at all.
    (sigh) William Jefferson Clinton was charming…

  56. EllenSugarB says:

    Russian…AND as a makeup remover for your smokey eyes…

  57. EllenSugarB says:

    Cali – Girl, I’m really stuck on this election. I’ve been watching the debates and trying to make a decision, but this one is tough for me. i’m going to be one of the last-minute voters. But I hear you, I can’t take another 4 years of ANYONE being lazy, president and civilians the like.

  58. EllenSugarB says:

    Russian, you know I love your messy hair and smokey eyes. And did you know…coconut oil can me used for the messy hair look AND as lube. lol No really, it can 🙂

  59. RussianSB says:

    @EllenSugarB, my friend mean,VERY moderate behaivoir,when girls want left you with impression that they so new to it and not spoiled, and never been in nice place before.
    He says: ” If lady order ONLY water or juise, it is going to be a lot of $$$$ after”

  60. EllenSugarB says:

    CaribSB – You can explore any approach that you see fit and see what works for you. Personally, I too have seen no correlation in the amount of time I wait to have sex and the success of a relationship with mature MEN. With Men who are less mature (and I am not referring to ones age, but to ones emotional maturity), yes, I have seen a correlation. But that’s me. You might be going through a phase where you want to wait a little longer – so do whatever you want. I like Russian SB’s approach “I’m going to do whatever I want and nobody is going to do anything about it.”

    Ok…BEST advice I got all month: Collect Men.

    I was complaining about “things with this person wasn’t working out, things with that person wasn’t working out…blah blah.” Then I get this little nugget of advice: Collect Men. It’s ok to date more than one person at a time. Boy, was I missing out!

  61. California SB says:

    Russian, this is the most important election in recent history. Gotta put the lipstick down until we see who’s going to be our next prez…

  62. RussianSB says:

    Where I am ? In New-Yorker blog ?? They talk about Romney ? And nobody talks about messy hair, smoky eyes and lube ?

  63. California SB says:

    Ellen: Romney is no Abe Lincoln!

    I hear ya…. but I can’t take another 4 years of lazy presidency. Obama had 4 years to do something. All he did was to blame Bush. I’m not giving him another 4 years of a free paycheck and air force one free plane rides to Martha’s vineyard…

  64. EllenSugarB says:

    twiceshy – Go on the date with the girl and her friend. Worst case – you have a date with two hot girls. Is that so terrible?

    As for girls who don’t order much when they’re out to eat being ‘gold-diggers.’ Uh…what? Listen, I am 115 lbs, not a linebacker in the NFL. I order small meals because (surprise) I don’t eat huge meals, and I don’t eat steak. I’ve been out with other girls who ordered tons of food on a date, bottles of wine, etc – didn’t finish any of it. I just think that is rude and tacky and they are taking advantage of the situation for the sake of taking advantage. So what would those girls be – a food digger? A money waster? lol

    I don’t think a SD will EVER hear me say “it’s not about the money.” But it’s not JUST about the money. I want MORE MORE MORE …money alone isn’t enough hahahha

  65. CaribSB says:

    @WCSD….Because it’s in my nature to explore things and in this case I want to discover something else about myself as well as a potential. I never said it would be better, but I know that I may enjoy delaying for myself a bit and building up even more desire. Note i never said anything about a potential SD relationship, but a regular type, with possible long term possibilities. … In “your opinion” it may be “stupid”, but in mine it is an alternative that hasn’t been explored (and which has worked for some that I know I might add). Maybe you have tried it to come to that conclusion, but I haven’t, I’ll decide for myself when I have.

  66. EllenSugarB says:

    twiceshy- “The morning alarm ruined everything.” lolololol

  67. EllenSugarB says:

    Wow, Cali, it’s nice to hear you speak from the heart 🙂

    the only point I really believe is that the US could become a third world country – slowly. the others…eh…not so much.

    Anyway, Good luck in trying to succeed with overturning Roe V. Wade. Sorry, but Romney is no Abe Lincoln!

  68. WCSD says:

    @EleenSugarSB – well that part of the sex rule, isn’t that a requirement. Kind of hard to have sex if there isn’t the ‘hard’ part…. 😉

  69. EllenSugarB says:

    hmmmmmm…decisions decisions

  70. California SB says:

    I rather having to be celibate than having to see people die of hunger, or be unemployed for life, or see the United States become a third world country slowly.

  71. EllenSugarB says:

    May Romney win and hand all of us SBs a roll of duct tape – and you will be closing up shop. Forget about having any more fun, CaliforniaSB. You better plan on crossing your legs and never getting that big d!ick you like EVER again! Because there will be no PlanB for any little ‘accidents.’ I THOUGHT I would vote for him – but I have no respect for a man who thinks he can control my body. Hands off, buddy. 🙂

  72. EllenSugarB says:

    Oh, I have a ‘hard rule” about sex, alright: He must be very hard.

    I’m terrible, I know. hehe

  73. California SB says:

    May Romney win tomorrow and may Obama be just on textbooks as the worst American president ever. Amen. 😛

  74. WCSD says:

    @CaribSB…..Interesting take on the waiting for sex. Especially since you didn’t see ‘bad’ results before, so why do you think this other approach would be better? It would be interesting to see how it turns out.

    For myself, I’ve always HATED any type of ‘hard rule’. As an example, it just won’t happen before date 3 (or date X) is just a stupid rule (in my opinion). If the connection is there, the chemistry is there, and both parties want to do it, why would you ever want to wait? I don’t mind if a pot tells me that the chemistry needs to be right, and in the past this has happened after X amount of time, but that is so different to a hard rule. We are all adults in this, and a person should only have sex if they want to. And if they do and things change after the sex, that isn’t something that any time could predict. Sometimes that change is for the better, sometimes it is for the worse, but if we made a decision with the facts we had, and were happy with that decision at that point in time, it is irrelevant what happens after the fact. We may seek more information to make a decision next time, but each person is unique and the fact that person A was an asshole or angel has no bearing on how person B will act.

    Anyway, if I could make a dead horse icon, I would…as this has been talked about over and over again….

  75. RussianSB says:

    @Twiceshy, in THAT case ask her to bring 5 more girlfriends, why be limited only for one ?
    @Phoneguy – I can smell oil here, and monastery… women monastery 🙂
    It is why he don’t want to date local anymore, because no locals left unobserved.

  76. CaribSB says:

    @ILWCG……..Funny you should bring this topic up, I have been discussing this for the past 2 weeks with friends. I have recently decided myself to take the slow to bed approach for serious/potential long term relationships, I call it delayed gratification to build desire for myself and the potential partner, while getting to know him better and allowing him to get to know me and enjoy the person I am. Now I haven’t set a particular time period, but I know it won’t be before the third date, but instead when we are both comfortable with each other and really smitten (this means I am looking for that guy who is into me enough that he cares about waiting a bit too and really getting to know me). I know this may sound a bit elementary, but its just a different approach I want to take. I have done the whole passionate, uncontrolled rushing into sex bit four times and the guys always stuck around, one turned into a marriage, the other a long term relationship where we got engaged and the other 2 I wasn’t interested. I agree with you that in some cases (as with my ex-fiance) it was a matter of knowing that this is the person you already want to be with forever. Weirdly enough I always think that the others wanted more, because I wasn’t the typical needy girl who interpreted sex for love at the time, I had no expectations after and had sex because I wanted sex for whatever period of time. I still believe there is a weird psychology behind that..

  77. Phoneguy says:

    You didn’t work in the oil business and recently spend time in a monastery, did you? 😉

  78. Iammaggie says:

    I simply love to dress up and “play the part,” whatever the part may be. I’m a Mom for life, yet I have to share them with their dad for half of the time. When my kids are not with me, I am completely lost. I’ve learned how to entertain mysef over the years, and finding a sd was the answer for me. I give my everything to and for my kids, so I do not have an expendable income. I, however, have exquisite tastes, as I was raised well. I love to entertain and accompany men who simply are looking for companionship and interesting conversation. That is not illegal…it is called two people interested in a joint venture, with an agreed upon outcome for both. 🙂

  79. twiceshy says:

    @RussianSB It’s not ego. Women are simply drawn to my magnetic personality. There was one time when this girl leaped over the table at me. And I thought the waitress was coming to help and get her off me? But no…she jumped in too. The morning alarm rang and ruined everything…but stuff was happening.

    I’m pretty awesome.

    @JustATequilaSD I never considered all that, and I am really hesitant about the whole thing. But hey, what’s the worst that can happen really? She’s driving. Why did you have to mention age. I’m hungry so it will be a quick dinner. I’m ready for anything lol! 🙂

  80. JustATequilaSD says:

    Maybe tell her of course she can bring her friend as long as the friend is as beautiful and fun as she is. (No one wants to entertain the boring, bitter, ugly, cockblocker friend but please don’t tell her this.) This is a local meet, and unless she’s 18-21 then she should know how to run away from a bad blind date in a public place. (Hopefully not literally.) Obviously this is first meet, so she may need to catch a cab incoming unless she has a car which she can bring to the meet. A quick lunch if you two are feeling more connected and romantic but she’s still cautious. Maybe a quick coffee if she’s really squirrely. If she says something weird like “if the meet goes badly I don’t want to have to go back toward her house to pick her up and go party.” then I just think I understand why she’s still looking. HOWEVER, if she brings a friend, and you do set up 2 sb arrangements, would you be ready for that? (Easy tiger, not everyone is crazy enough to hint at this like TequilaSD.)

    “sometimes people looking for each other for a long time and once they find each other … why wait any longer”
    I TOTALLY agree!! This is a beautiful and romantic statement that makes me happy on many levels.

  81. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    phone guy.

    He is an old soul ; and I have a very young spirit.
    It is not about numbers (passport age).

    that is why it was fun; we were just joking.

    We did not talk number with him. I actually never talk numbers – it is my problem/ thing.

  82. Phoneguy says:

    And there is only one Diamond member with verified income (500-1 mil a year, 10 mill worth) in my city and I met him for lunch already and told him he can not afford me 🙂 and he told me I am too young for him

    I do not understand either of those statements. 😉
    You are legal right? 😉
    So what is the budget of a diamond member making 500k-1mill?

  83. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    the photo is awaiting moderation .

    But I wanted to point out I lost 10 pounds after this photo was taken.


    Phone guy , did you mean you can not understand what is going on on my avatar?
    It is a backward spiral on ice, obviously .

    Thanks to people who answered about fast sex is “rule out of serious relationship ” thing .
    I wrote my opinion and experience a few times about this , I slept with my second husband the first time we met (New year party 🙂 .
    sometimes people looking for each other for a long time and once they find each other … why wait any longer. 🙂

  84. RussianSB says:

    About English classes. I don’t wanna study, I just wanna party !

  85. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:


    No my photo did not get posted,
    It needs blog gods approval (and you post a link or photo).
    I hope it will show up soon.
    It is a fun photo.

    And there is only one Diamond member with verified income (500-1 mil a year, 10 mill worth) in my city and I met him for lunch already and told him he can not afford me 🙂 and he told me I am too young for him . :))

    We had such fun and great chemistry lunch, laughed for 1 hour and ate great steak.
    But he has the cutest car and we agreed he will take me for a ride on it just for fun.

  86. RussianSB says:

    @Twiceshy. I am happy that finally you decide to date local !!!
    To bring friend – it is absolutely OK. Often potential SDs offer to bring friend with me, if I am feeling not safe by go alone, even for trips. Real gentelmen do that. I think friend know about the site, girls sharing a lot.
    Now I will be harsh. What if you like her friend more ? What if you like your waitrees more ? What if you like that hot girl seating next table more ? Your date come to see you, coz she interested in you and in arrangement, what make you think that her girlfriend find you attractive, or interested in arrangement, or she don’t have a boyfriend ??
    Boys, never behave like everyone you can reach by your hand or eye – all girls ”on the menu ”, only because you are a SD !

  87. Phoneguy says:

    I’m willing to bet her friend knows about the site and is probably on the site if she is bringing her along. I don’t think it’s the best way for 2 people to see if they have chemistry but it will put the pot SB at ease. I would roll with it and go to the meet.

  88. Phoneguy says:

    There are only 2 types .
    It is not like there are 20 types of verification at SA, so newSB could not be too confused.

    Ok, but one of those two has verified in the title and is what everyone is talking about when they say verified. That one is plastered all over the site with the word “verified” in it.
    The other, diamond member, I doubt half the people know exactly what it means. I get they spent extra cash for an icon next to their name.

    I appreciate the icon pic but I can’t tell what’s going on in it. 😉

    I wanted to ask guys if they would agree with this quolte:
    ” If a guy goes straight for your pants, he’s ruled you out as a long term partner… has nothing to do with hormones talking…”

    I wouldn’t say he has ruled you out. I doubt he has given much consideration to the long term. If he goes straight for your pants, he probably wants what’s inside them. 😉 He’ll figure out what to do next once he has resolved his short term objective.

    /waves. How are those tamales coming?

  89. twiceshy says:

    I decided to meet local, against advice. But taking a chance. Everything is fine, then she says that because we meet for first time, she wants to bring her best friend along.

    I’m…don’t know how to proceed. I think that will throw the entire meeting off. What if I find her friend more attractive and with a better personality than her? Does her friend know about the site? What does she think about all this? Is her friend on the site too? What about discretion and privacy?

    What are the common ways to go forward with something like this, and usual outcomes of first meet with the SB’s “best friend”?

  90. RussianSB says:

    Oh, I love boys with clean shoes and open soul !

  91. RussianSB says:

    You know why theese guys wear pound heavy gold bracelets, just in case, to bribe police quiqly. I know,I am Russian 🙂

  92. RussianSB says:

    I am watcing now ”Goodfellas” , so many sexy outfits ,almost everyting wearable nowadays. If you want to be attractive for woman, boys, all of you must dress in his style.
    Exept gold, of course. Especially with diamonds… leave diamonds to us !!!

  93. RussianSB says:

    And wolford stockings ( what, just in case !)

  94. RussianSB says:

    Sexy top or Wolford body.

  95. RussianSB says:

    I agree with Jack about suits, some serious SDs feel even more comfortable to meet in public place with someone dressed more formal than flirty ( just in case, you know ), it is also very sexy if it is expensive suite with pencil skirt, and if you can add matching open cleavege top.

  96. Jack says:

    I think many guys (and that includes quality SD’s) won’t wait much past a few dates for the intimacy portion of the relationship to arise. Not saying that’s good or bad–just making an observation.


  97. RussianSB says:

    “You sound too business-like, I dont think I want to get into an arrangement with you.” I hear, “i don’t think i am going to be able to manipulate you. And, since I have no intention of ever giving you a dime, I think I will be better off trying my luck with someone more naive and malleable.” EllenSugarB

    THAT I call talent of reading behind the lines, I am sure EllenSB screening a lot while mailing. And when girl say she is not about money at all in Sugar relationship – she IS golddigger. My friend say that he is suspicios when girls make very modest order in restorant on first date and behave unusually nun – sure golddiggers.

  98. RussianSB says:

    ”No man, rich or not, will run away from a treasure, and if he really likes your personality and appearance, he will do everything he have to keep you.” Atina

    Sure ! Absolutely true. If he wanna poof he will poof after sex anyway, doesn’t matter how long he wait – 3 dates, 10 dates, 100 dates. Some people able to wait as long as it needed 🙂

  99. Jack says:


    I am quite sure that your suits would be more than suitable for most SD’s (myself included!), and if you don’t feel like undertaking an additional expense just to meet SD’s, I don’t think you need to. From my perspective, if you have a pretty face, I can usually tell if you have a nice bod even if you’re wearing a pants suit (and even more so with a skirt/dress suit). Of course, your intelligence and personality count even more in my book than just raw looks. Attractive women are far more common that intelligent/well-read attractive women with a great personality.

    As to ILWCG’s question about counting # of dates before sex, I think your answer was so good I’ll just re-post it rather than try to paraphrase it:

    “I even think that sex on the second date is ok. Before the first date I would have written with him long enough to know what I need about his character and if I find a chemistry on the first date I don’t find a reason to wait longer for the sex part. This is the way I proceeded in my non-sugar relationships and all of them lasted more than two years. So no, I don’t agree with the quote. No man, rich or not, will run away from a treasure, and if he really likes your personality and appearance, he will do everything he have to keep you.”

    I especially agree with yor last sentence–except to add that in my case, the “sex part” (when it was really good) has actually INCREASED the depth and length of the relationship. To put it a different way, there has never been a correlation for me between how soon sex has become part of a relationship and the longevity of said relationship.


  100. California SB says:

    Ellen: “trying my luck with someone more naive and malleable”

    I couldn’t have said it better! 🙂

  101. EllenSugarB says:

    CaliforniaSB – when the guy says “You sound too business-like, I dont think I want to get into an arrangement with you.” I hear, “i don’t think i am going to be able to manipulate you. And, since I have no intention of ever giving you a dime, I think I will be better off trying my luck with someone more naive and malleable.”

    I’m bad, I know. hehe

  102. EllenSugarB says:

    Oh Geez, Tina … I have a collection of beautiful women in my life 🙂 But, alas, none of them would consider a Springer appearance lol

    JaTSD – 20 something…who me? I have already graduated in to the dirty 30s hehe. Men usually peg me at 25. Then I start talking and they peg me at 45 ha!

  103. Tina says:

    @Atina – don’t worry about asking questions that have already been asked. That’s why Guru has the dead horse icon, and we have to make sure he has ample opportunity to use it.

    @JaTSD: oooh! Don’t forget about the sister or cousin! @Ellen – do you have a hot sister or cousin for JaTSD to add to his repertoire before his Springer appearance? What about a lesbian friend that he turns straight? Or a straight friend that he turns lesbian? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  104. Atina says:

    @California SB, Goldfish, thank you so much for your advices. I will listen to you and will go shopping for something more appropriate :). Since my suits are with skirt/ dress I was thinking that they will be ok, but apparently I should choose something more feminine.

    @Tina, thanks for the tip, I will add avatar later today.

    @EllenSugarB, I have started reading the old topics (back to 2009) and find them really intriguing and useful, but I’m not quite sure whether I will read all the comments- they are just too many. Still I will try not to ask questions that have been discussed a lot.

    @I LoveWestCoastGirl, I even think that sex on the second date is ok. Before the first date I would have written with him long enough to know what I need about his character and if I find a chemistry on the first date I don’t find a reason to wait longer for the sex part. This is the way I proceeded in my non-sugar relationships and all of them lasted more than two years. So no, I don’t agree with the quote. No man, rich or not, will run away from a treasure, and if he really likes your personality and appearance, he will do everything he have to keep you.

  105. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Phone guy.

    I did write about 1. verified (back ground verified ) members and ! 2. diamond (financially verified ) members .

    There are only 2 types .
    It is not like there are 20 types of verification at SA, so newSB could not be too confused.
    Ok, will try to post a picture here – only for you, Phoneguy, in case you want to argue more. 🙂
    I hope a picture will show up in here. :))


    I wanted to ask guys if they would agree with this quolte:
    ” If a guy goes straight for your pants, he’s ruled you out as a long term partner… has nothing to do with hormones talking…”

    I think sex on third date is OK, if you like each other, of course a girl can play hard to get, and it works for some guys.

  106. DrMarmalade says:

    Grammar is always something I notice about people. When I’m texting a man or reading his profile and see misspellings or text speak, it automatically turns me off. Especially since most people have smartphones. That little red squiggly line under a word is there for a reason. Don’t ignore it.

  107. JustATequilaSD says:

    It wasn’t that she was “jerry springer hot,” I was simply joking at the idea that dating the mother and daughter at the same time is very often a topic on Jerry Springer, and that you saying your mother was hot and me being “party boy” that I would scoop you both up. I was not questioning her level of hotness. I was complimenting it as I wouldn’t want to choose between her and her 20-something daughter.

  108. EllenSugarB says:

    Funny. Not “jerry springer” hot…more like “trophy wife” hot.

  109. JustATequilaSD says:

    The Kraken will take on all newcomers, gilf,milf, gmilf,ggmilf. Equal opportunity destroyer. Those that can’t walk can be carried. Teeth are preferred, but I did see the movie “Yes,man.” 😀

    You and your mom? That’s my favorite episode of Jerry Springer! Oops, was that too over the top? You did say she’s hot. 🙂

  110. Tina says:

    @Ellen: teef or no teef? Dat *smack* is da qfestion…….and there could be damage with a well toned jaw…..snaaaaaaaaap!

    Still, gmilf……eeeeeehhhhhhh……*shiver*…….you say grandmother, and I just think of mine, and….eeeewwwwwww…….

  111. EllenSugarB says:

    Well, Tina…maybe TequilaSD doesn’t want teeth. Then there is no potential for an accidental bite. ouch 🙂

    BTW…my mom is gilf and she is HOT!

  112. EllenSugarB says:

    Hello Atina and Susie 🙂 There is a ton of information right here on the SA website to help both newbies and more seasoned SBs. Check out the articles, video interviews, and past blog topics for lots of useful information.

    As for “Diamond Members”, “Verified Members,” members offering a $10-20k allowance, a certain stated income level (verified or not) and any other indicator SA uses which you may find seemingly useful for identifying a “Real SD” … personally I have found no correlation whatsoever between these indicators, and finding a “Real SD”. Lets be frank – this is the internet and nothing is real until you meet the person and find out who they really are. People can say or write whatever they please to try and swoon you – it could be total BS, it could be true.. In the end, actions speak louder than words. Believe it when you see it happen.

  113. Tina says:

    @JaTSD: would you require teeth with that phrase? ‘Cause if you do, it might limit your possibilities. And I KNOW you can be a grandmother at 40. I actually work with someone that is 41 and she has 3 grandkids. But still, the thought of a gmilf just gives me the ickies……….

  114. JustATequilaSD says:

    BWHAAAAT? Aside from the fact that you can be a grandmother easily at 40 (in the south easily can be younger, but I digress) you have to remember there are a bunch of really hot gmilfs out there. Of course being Tequila, if you can still say “Release The Kraken” at 70…I’d start banging the drum…

  115. EllenSugarB says:

    …just look at the post above lol …like many of my posts its riddled with spelling errors and typos. Yet, I speak perfect english, and I am no dummy…just sayin’

  116. EllenSugarB says:

    In regards to concerns about language barriers, and ones verbal skills not being an indicator of intelligence or wit…

    I agree.

    Conversation skills are still important.

    With that said, being a good conversationalist doesn’t mean that you have to talk incessantly. In fact, some SDs might find that quality somewhat irritating.

    I see the language barrier as an opportunity: Because of the language barrier, you may be more likely to listen intently and focus on what the SD is saying, taking time to formulate a simple articulate response at the right time. No ned to be verbose. Brevity is the soul of wit.

  117. Tina says:

    @JaTSD: A gmilf? EWWWWW! I think I just threw up a little in my mouth……

  118. JustATequilaSD says:

    you don’t have to be a little hispanic grandmother to entice me w/sexy talk and your “Cooking Nekkid” cookbook…but if you ever want to be treated like a “gmilf”…

  119. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: HIIIIIIIIIII! *waves*

  120. Tina says:

    @Susie: the best advice I can give is to screen, and get to know the SD before you meet him. If you don’t feel comfortable for any reason, don’t meet him. Use the safety tips that are located above when you do meet him for the first time. Allowance amounts, verified or not, diamond member, etc – none of that means that he will be a generous, gentle man who you have chemistry with. There are many rich creeps that will flaunt their money just to have a chance to treat you like a servant. There are also those that won’t have as much income to share, but will share so much more. It all just depends on what you are looking for.

    And, for an avatar, go to gravatar dot com to add it.

  121. Tina says:

    @Tequila: me? make tamales? I wouldn’t dream of it! I prefer to get mine from little Hispanic grandmother types that use slave labor, er, I mean, grandchildren, to make them in an assembly line fashion. Do you THINK I’m a little Hispanic grandmother type? Hmmmmm? (Be VERY careful how you choose your response….MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

    @Phone Guy: I quite enjoy having things pop up and out as well, but only if I get to play with them at my own risk. Teehee.

  122. Phoneguy says:

    I’m hoping to drop this soon.

    I’m not sending you back to chess. I’m sending US back to chess, something on which we agree.

    My point was Susie was asking about verified members. I assume she is asking about background checks and you are talking about Diamond members and I guess financial verification. I think you are confusing issues and probably her. I’m not trying to pick on you. I just am trying to keep you from confusing the newbies.

  123. Goldfish says:

    Atina, I’d have to agree with CaliforniaSB…Never wear a suit on a sugar date. Even if you are meeting during a lunch break…I would ask to reschedule.

    Most men like seeing a women in a skirt or dress for the first time. I usually go for a dress and heels/boots.
    And if it’s an all-day date, choose something comfortable, but flattering.

    And to Susie’s question earlier,
    This site managed to function very early on without verified accounts. Perhaps some feel safer with a verified account, but I’ve never let it bother me if they are not verified. You should always do your own personal research on an SD before meeting them.
    A good SD will make you feel comfortable and will have little problems divulging some information about himself so that you’re not meeting him in the dark, figuratively.

    Before your date, set your expectations for the relationship. It’s easier to write it out than to say in person. At least for me it is. I’d much rather leave the date to getting to know the SD rather than fleshing out details of the arrangement.

  124. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Phone guy.

    I just share my expirience and my point of view.
    I met Many guys from SA (for first lunch/ coffee/ drink dates).

    Susie is worried about verified members which I assume she is concerned about safety and maybe whether they are real. You seem to be talking about money and high allowance offers and financial verification (which I’ve never even heard that SA does).

    Maybe we should go back to chess.

    I can go back to chess or wherever you want to send me;
    But i can mentor you that Diamond members Are financial
    verified ! They showed to Brandon/ SA their tax return for the previous year.
    if you have not heard about it … why blame me.
    Do if you Susie see a Diamond member – it is his real income ;
    if he is not Diamond and he claims he makes that amount – it might Not be true; he might make less than you make. ! (was my point).

    And I did wrote 2 time now in English here the answer to Susie about verified (back ground verified ) members :

    It does not matter for MY safety/ screening if a guy back ground verified or not. I can not use it as a screening tool for me.

    As I wrote before there are at least 5 pages of discussion about be or not to be verified (the blog then Verification just became avalable a few months ago). and why good genuine SDs might want to choose Not to be back ground verified.

    I do not understand why Phone guy , you are picking on me.? And u r sending me Somewhere /anywhere.

    I can send you to.

    I know my advices might not be valuable at all for Susie or anyone. And any SB acts at her own risk here.

    I have to repeat myself again; I had a SA profile in Manhattan and then I found my guy and closed it I had 700 in coming mails in there. So I think , may be , I do understand guys a bit better and may be I can give some screening advices; but of course no one need to use them.

    And I play chess with my son everyday, so you do not need to worry or to send me “back to chess”.

    I think I have more experience with guys than You , phone guy .:)

  125. California SB says:

    I just had a pot SD just telling me on the phone I sound too business like and he will pass on having a date with me. How am I suppose to sound like? Trailer park trash? I was just trying to set the allowance issue straight before meeting in person. He told me he has a sugar who is “very grateful” to any help he gives. I told him I am not that person. Told him I need an X amount per month, and that I rather discuss this on the phone first before meeting because when we meet, I rather focus on the chemistry. Whatever. He probably couldn’t even be able to afford me anyway. What a loser.

  126. California SB says:

    Atina: “my job requires [a ] dresscode… love suits”

    Atina, I would not wear a suit to a sugar date or any date. I’ve done it before ( my job also requires me to dress professionally) and it usually never goes well. Men don’t want to feel they are dealing with a business transaction. I would wear a classic black dress for dinner, or a casual dress or skirt for lunch. ALWAYS wear a dress or skirt on first dates. Men want to see your legs and your body shape!! I had a date once tell me that he was so happy to see I was not wearing pants, he said something like ” I wear the pants, not my sugar”. LOL

  127. JustATequilaSD says:

    Susie’s new so ILWCG is giving her some of the ropes…er, some of her screening tips since WCG herself doesn’t really use the “SA verified profile” as a screening tool. Or at least that’s what I got from the original post.

    What guys get to deal with sometimes, professionals when we don’t want professionals, women that dont understand the give and take of an arrangement, etc. If the girls that want penis pics could link up with the guys sending penis pics maybe it would be the start of something big.
    And no, you definitely wouldnt want to put names, personal info, etc on blog or anywhere else.Good SD’s would give out less info, and bad SD’s would simply make their fake info better.

  128. Phoneguy says:

    Susie is worried about verified members which I assume she is concerned about safety and maybe whether they are real. You seem to be talking about money and high allowance offers and financial verification (which I’ve never even heard that SA does).

    Maybe we should go back to chess.

  129. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    The things a girl is dealing with.

    Gross offers (I posted one aka “anti feministic offer” 🙂 a week ago on the blog); I got 2 more gross offers (can post here). penis pictures, can post here with profile numbers as well. , and just time wasters, exchange many e mails , never set a date…
    Guys who would promise financial support and would not do anything for you later. Can post a few real first and last names here, with their job places or/and wives names.

    This is my advice – to be aware of all this things, yes, we do need a BS detector but it takes time for a new SB to develop one. !

  130. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    For phone guy.

    I meant .
    If a guy promise you 10-25 k allowances and he is not income verified member – it is (his offer 90% times ) is a BS.
    Last last 2 weeks many girl posted here profile numbers of guys who claimed be oil magnates… etc they are … not real . 🙂

    So is a guy promises you a big allowances and he IS a Diamond member , then it is possible he is for real, but still … may be Not.

    My answer related to Susie’ Q if she should contact only verified members .
    And my answer was NOT , i do not pay attention if a guy verified or not.

    and as a Girl ! on this site I know how much BS we take (and how much BS guys on the site) from guys on
    this site (not our blog SDs 🙂

    And it takes time for a new Susie to work on her screening technique and not to feel like a Pro, or not to be taken advantage of. !

    I know Midwest always can translate my posts in English,

    May be blog SDs can arrange for me and RussianSB English classes. I would love! that,
    What about you? , russianSB.

  131. Atina says:

    Oh, and one stupid off-topic question- how can I put avatar in my blog posts?

  132. Atina says:

    @California SB: Thanks, you are very kind. “Atina” is one of my pet names, it’s close, but not the same as my real name.

    I have a question, which is connected to the topic:
    Girls, what clothes you wear when you are going to meet a pot SD for first time and don’t know where will you go? For example, it’s a day date and if everything is ok you have decided to spend the whole day together?
    Principally I wear and feel most comfortable with suits(my job requires dresscode, but I love suits, so it’s ok for me). Would such clothing be suitable or I have to choose something more casual/official?

  133. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Phone guy,
    It is Sunday morning, pls wake up and re- read my post (or may be I was too sleepy than I wrote it? )

    1. I did not advice to look at diamond members.
    2. I did not say any SD is BS.

    But… whatever , if you enjoy your interpretation of my post – enjoy it.

  134. Flyer says:


    Be specific about what you are looking for in the structure of the relationship, Let them know that you will want to meet several times before deciding. You can also manage expectations by starting with a casual meeting rather than dinner. Talk about what’s attractive to you- brains, honesty,mentor , old ,young, expensive entertainment, non-married , married, travel, career contacts, boy toy, wine, athletic

    Take some time to study the filters. Also think keywords

    Pick photos carefully

  135. RussianSB says:

    Janine all boys in Huston, some from NY and LA, and one from Tampa, FL, but he is bad boy.

  136. RussianSB says:

    I love potential SDs jumping from nowhere and offer their help !

  137. RussianSB says:

    My new plastic samsonite luggage has many scratches from first round trip.
    Because it made of ultra-light plastic 🙁

  138. Phoneguy says:

    I love girls jumping out from my luggage !
    I love girls jumping out of anything! 😉

  139. Phoneguy says:

    I really think that is horrible advice, looking at just diamond members or SD’s that say their budget is 10k+. 90-something percent of girls are never going to see that. And suggesting that is what you do is just setting people up for failure.
    90% of non-diamonds are BS? Excellent.

    Look for SDs whose budget matches up with your requirements. Screen rigorously and develop a BS detector.

  140. RussianSB says:

    I love girls jumping out from my luggage !

  141. Janine says:

    He’s right. I find that when I talk to a guy they become way more interested in me.

    A pretty face or body is a dime a dozen. But attach a good personality to that face and that person’s worth increases big time!

    I totally need to go to Houston if that’s where all the men are. Maybe I’ll jump out of RussianSB’s luggage on her layover and start a party!

  142. JustATequilaSD says:

    TequilaSD was good nickname for me because I was partying and drinking so much lately. I reset my internet and it went back to ThoughtSD on accident. But I’m still partying hard so I fixed it.

  143. JustATequilaSD says:

    You making tamales? Would you accept one big pickle in exchange for the tamales 😉

    I’m baaaaaack. See I told you.


  144. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    I met like 5 guys from SA in last 2 weeks and I even do not know if they were verified or not.

    Nice guys might not get “verify ” coz they do not want their personal info to be hatched from a site and so on.. It is 5 pages topic 🙂

  145. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Welcome to the site and the blog 🙂
    I even do not pay attention who is verify and who is not.

    Some SDs have 10 K -25 K a month allowance in their profiles (or 1 mill. Annual income…) so I just look if he is a diamond member , if Not – it is a BS (90 % of the time).
    If a guy a diamond member – his income verified , (which of course does not mean he is going to be generous or a gentelman with you ) SO ! act on your own risk (read all advices on the site) – even if a member is verified or diamond .

  146. susie says:

    Hi again, If anyone read my question above…it would be awesome to hear some feedback. thanks!

  147. Goldfish says:

    Hello Sugars!

    Back from a break and nice to see everyone is doing well.

    I think in this setting, woman should be self-assured and classic. I suppose my style is pretty simple à la Calvin Klein, etc. but I I think showcasing yourself rather than what you’re wearing is the best approach.

    That way, your date, partner can focus on you, whether that be a beautiful face, striking conversation and ideas…you get the picture.

    P.S. Also…know how to walk in heels. I don’t know if this is a problem for many women on the blog…but on the streets it’s another story. I shouldn’t be in pain just watching you walk in heels. sigh.

  148. Tina says:

    @JaTSD: uh oh, looks like you have to make sure your layover is in Houston long enough to grab RussianSB some tamales on your trip to Moscow 😉

  149. RussianSB says:

    he hide his Kraken !

  150. RussianSB says:

    I want famous tamali. Are you common with metric system ,Tequila ???
    Of course, stupid question ! Patron bottle is 0,75 litr 🙂

  151. JustAThoughtSD says:

    That seems really fast for three liters. I may have to get RussianSB to bring 3L next time she’s in the states. And, yes, I am like Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde…”and Hyde’s got nothing to hide, I got to show ya baby!” not the mean monster Hyde but the drunk crazy super gigelo from outer space Hyde 🙂

    I can gladly get you 3 liters of pickles for the caviar. 😀

  152. RussianSB says:

    Thank you, dear, I also love moovies, and books. And THE blog, of course.
    I learn languages self-study way, it is not surgery – don’t need diplome and anotomic theatre 🙂

  153. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Russian, the good way to learn English is to listen a song and sing along. Madonna’ song are good , I am listening today

    “I don’t always rush in like this
    Twenty seconds after saying hello
    Telling strangers I’m too good to miss

    If I’m wrong I hope you’ll tell me so
    But you really should know, I’d be good for you
    I’d be surprisingly good for you”


  154. RussianSB says:

    Tequila and Thought Just the same SD person. Classical case – Thought or Tequila, serious or funny, grate mind or booze.
    And we are dancing in Red Square with gypsies and bears in funny furs hats. You know they make a lot of pancakes at Red Square at Maslenitsa and make an ice skate.
    Last hope died away in turkey eye,Tina, and become a little bolt in huge mechanizm of American food industry 🙂
    I am not vegetarian !

  155. susie says:

    I’m completely NEW to all of this and the concept of it……i’m wondering if I should only deal with verified sd’s? also, I don’t want a typical prostitution relationship….I would like to be friends with the guy first and see where it goes from there. I admit, I do need money…which is what has brought me to this site, but I am not looking to be a prostitute.

    Please tell me anything and everything you’re willing to share. I would love to hear your stories! thanks-Susie

  156. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    TequilaSD (u r same as Just a thought ? SD? I did not know)

    Две недели.

    RussianSB. Yes, no cucumbers and we ride reindeer. 🙂

  157. Tina says:

    @Guru: The question you should be asking is not what’s in them, but how you will eat them, and from where 😉 And I would like to think that it’s an offer you wouldn’t want to refuse, instead of couldn’t 😉

    @RussianSB: shhhhhh! My minion is hunting turkey hehehehehehehehehe (look up Elmer Fudd and his “hunting wabbit” dialogue on Google to hear what I’m referring to)

    Blog topic (since I was too tired and distracted last night to process it):

    From the successful men that I’ve encountered, many of them already know that they can get the “hot girl” if they want her. That’s not the problem – it’s how to get the “hot girl” that has the chemistry you want. Which leads to Brandon’s top five. However, I think many successful men shoot themselves in the foot when looking, since they have this preconceived notion of what they want. After all, most of them are very decisive personalities; they know what they want and they get it. They rule out or sometimes overlook women because they don’t fit the mental mold of what they are looking for, and it’s not just physical. For example, some men have this lust for finding a woman that is interested and well read in politics and international affairs because that is what he is interested in. He overlooks a woman that states that she isn’t really all that into politics and international affairs. But what he fails to realize is that her passions lie in a realm that he was never really exposed to, and can find that a relationship of some type (mentoring, friends, lovers, SD/SB, etc) with this woman could open up opportunities in business and/or self improvement that he never knew existed.

    So, with that being said, I’m actually happy to see how Brandon’s list came out. It is showing a trend away from traditional thoughts on beauty and sexuality to something deeper.

    Aaaaaaand since it’s Saturday that’s all for now. I’ve been way too verbose on the blog lately for my own tastes.

    I hope everyone is enjoying their Saturday! 🙂 Don’t forget to “fall back” tonight! 🙂

  158. China Rose says:

    @CaribSB – I totally agree about the different types of wealth. The New Rich are definitely different than old money. And some rich people my identify more with the culture of people with less money. True true..

    Has anyone ever watched the tv show “revenge”? I like my rich men like Nolan Ross…..young, edgy, tech savy, and suuuuuuuave. (I suppose he is also slightly androgynous..)

  159. RussianSB says:

    @Tequila, same as a peenut butter in US …. spread it on bread slice.
    We don’t have flying cars, but we have drunk flyrs in cars. Also we have special line on the road (just in the middle) for rich and famous 🙂

  160. RussianSB says:

    @Tequila, caviar in that region of Russia not a big deal, while pickled cucambers is exotic because not farming there. Or fruits, I am correct ILoveWestCoastGirl ?

  161. CaribSB says:

    My 2 cents…. I believe there are two types of successful men: The ones born into wealth (been around a specific class of similar people and socialized in that class) and have themselves become a success and the ones who were not (who have been exposed to both the wealthy and poorer class and can identify more with the latter) who have worked hard and cleverly attained wealth. This background has some influence on what each type would find initially attractive to varying extent. That said all men are visual creatures, so firstly, wealthy men notice a clean (well applied, simply made-up or bare), proportionate or strikingly interesting or beautiful face, good skin, well proportioned figure (and of course some men have preferences-long toned legs, nicely shaped breasts, etc), understated sexy, classy dressing/look, healthy hair, well manicured nails, poise, confidence (which emanates in the way you move, posture), they will take not when you speak, well formed language, tone and expression, any indication of intelligence or wit.

  162. JustAThoughtSD says:

    Wow. How long did it take your family to use all of that?

    I’ve always wanted to meet a time-traveler from the future. Are there flying cars in your time?

  163. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:


    Я выросла на Дальнем Востоке – это нормально всегда иметь 3 литровую банку икры в холодильнике.

  164. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    I personally think long hair is sexy and young . If I were a guy I would always pick a girl with long hair . I am that conservative and boring.
    I always tell my GF not to cut hair .

    I do understand short hair could be sexy and attractive for other people – especially shaved Natalie Portman. 🙂

    and I think the article meant just clean, neat hair do – does not matter long or short.

  165. China Rose says:

    Younger sd’s (despite the bad Rep they have here) are more likely to not fit the traditional sugar daddy mold.

  166. China Rose says:

    And like Neiman Marcus, it is overpriced and overrated.

    Good morning everyone! How was everyone’s Friday night? Oakland was having the monthly art murmur street fest last night All sorts of galleries were open. Hot guys dancing on top of buses. *sigh* I live an awesome alt art community that I’m sure the type of men mentioned in this article would not find “worthy” hehe.

    The hair topic is interesting….what about African American women who don’t have the standard “long flowing locks” and aren’t willing to wear fake hair to look like that? This makes successful men all seem like old, conservative boring men….ive dated successful older men (not sugar) who love women who aren’t the status quo. Piercings, beautiful art tatoos….I don’t think one kind of person is more refined or sophisticated than another.

  167. California SB says:

    Atina, that is such a pretty name!! Where you named after Athina Onassis?

  168. California SB says:

    Lady Vuitton: L&T is a store from the east coast like Neiman Marcus.

  169. California SB says:

    Russian: “boys care more about face than about body type”.

    You know, I used to think otherwise until I started hanging out with SDs. That is a very true statement that most girls don’t realize. 🙂

  170. California SB says:

    Guru: Lord & Taylor in Cali?

    Have you ever heard of that great thing called online shopping, dear?? ahah 🙂 we always want what we don’t have near by….

    Hair topic: yup, in my experience guys do care about your shinny long hair.

  171. California says:

    Guru: Lord & Taylor in Cali?

    Have you ever heard of that great thing called online shopping, dear?? ahah 🙂 we always want what we don’t have near by….

    Hair topic: yup, in my experience guys do care about your shinny long hair.

  172. Phoneguy says:

    @Lady Vuitton,
    It’s a department store, like Macy’s

  173. Atina says:

    Hi guys!

    Definitely interesting topic. I believe that I have four of the five listed qualities. As for the first one, it represents a problem for me. If the conversation is in my mature language, I can talk on any topic. However I’m not so good in English, although I have CAE from Cambridge. Generally I know all the words I need to, but the language barrier still exists. We wil see, I hope it won’t be enormous problem…

  174. EllenSugarB says:

    #1 !!!!

    “The ability to hold a conversation is vital when dealing with men of high power and wealth, as most meetings and deals are still handled face to face.”


  175. Lady Vuitton says:

    Morning Russian SB!

    Always good to be a little in the future. These time zones ! I always struggle with them. 🙂 being in the UK.

    I agree with you for what you look in a man. First impressions do count. I would also add that I do like a man with a nice set of teeth, how he interacts with others, manner definitvely and a smile in his eyes.

    Can someone please tell me what Lord and Taylor is?

  176. RussianSB says:

    Sandbox is empty (Guru doesn’t count, I am sure he is kind spirit from parallel dimention, not real person), everybody have Friday night ! When I have Satterday afternoon.
    Yes, technically I live in future 🙂

  177. RussianSB says:

    Tina… still thinking, or left us for real life 🙂
    I am curious when that gun will fire a shot ?

    • SD Guru says:

      From previous blog…

      “I would be happy to share with you but only in person and only if I get to feed you some of my baked goods at the same time”

      Um… what’s in those baked goods?? Is this an offer I can’t refuse? 😉

      “Guru can link anyone to the blog entry about how to do your best to travel wisely and safely.”

      Here it is! There was a reason why that article was written way back when.

      “I asked one guy he looked at me … suspiciously … and asked if I read it in “50 shades”

      Tell them “no guts no glory”… or is it “no pain no gain”? :mrgreen:

      @California SB
      “SD are busy people. It might happen here and there they won’t be able to see me, then how the heck am I going to have that extra cash I love for shopping at Lord & Taylor?”

      Interesting, you have Lord & Taylor in Cali?

  178. RussianSB says:

    I am also the way too picky, I want look at man (age doesn’t matter) clean shaven, with good manners, clean shoes and open soul 🙂
    Good grammar, of course, because I don’t have it myself, I loath it !

  179. RussianSB says:

    According to my own scientic survey, boys care more about face than about body type.
    And they care about body type more than outfits (they not so good in fasion trends, they only care GENERAL look is grate). And anyway they care about you outfits more than about your hair. BUUUUT it is pretty small group I have chance to witness their behavoir as neutral looker (much less than 1000)

  180. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Yes, according to surveys successful guys do not care for body type, pretty face and sexy accent.
    They just want to make sure the hair is perfect , you are not slouching , walking with the right speed 🙂 and g.. forbid misspell . 🙂

    I love how Helen Gurley Brown wrote (it is Not a direct quote , sorry, somehow I can not copy/paste from kindle version of the book) “now days intellect and to be a good conversationalist / good companionship Almost become as good as just to have a pretty face ” 🙂
    so the pretty face still beats any other values even now days.! funny, and sad. 🙂

    But guys are visual (and even successful guys).

    And do not get me started on body type (to be in a good physical shape) and sexual performance.
    (or if related to this article to have a healthy pregnancy).

  181. RussianSB says:

    Big bussnessmen prefer no-drama communication, while not every woman can perform that level of partnership. Women think that not making pressure about marrige or exlusive relationship is no-drama behavoir, but it is so much more :

    – can you adapt easily to sudden changes in schedule, or unexpected events, and take it all in stride without getting overly stressed out ?

    – do you feel your partner mood so good to know where stop your discussion (even if you need to sacrifice your opinion) ? Can you stay in ”silent mode” (and how long:) ) when he is concentrated on something important, not claiming attention ?

    – Sugar relationship is about money, sex and power. Are you able to be overpowered by man? Can you have partner not equal to you , someone who have more power in society, enormous income, expencive taste, large experience. Are you comfortable with that ?

  182. RussianSB says:

    Messy hair…My topic ! Some 10% of people have naturally nice hairdo(after blowdryer).
    Lucky ones. Some (me) spend a fortune on hairdresser to have it done and look perfect every time – not just for special occation. I do my hair every 2 days, my very good asian hairdresser joking that it will be cheaper to marry him. Some people like me, let’s say another 10 %, can afford that and must do it working in high offices,where looks matters.
    Everyone else have it messy, you can do hairdo yourself with round brush and some styling , but nobody care much or never have time (an exuse). And nobody really care about hair, men prefer clean cut faces with any amount and form of hair. While I agree that men don’t like unnatural hair colours and hair extention , fake tan and heavy make-up. Sucsessful men also notice white and even teeth, but only because they alredy did that treatment to theirselves. Last time I see that my non-smoking behavoir appreciated in every second date.

  183. Tina says:

    interesting topic……thinking……

  184. California SB says:

    3rd: The way a woman carries herself when she walks
    2nd Posture
    1st: verbal and written communication

    I guess I am doing something right. I walk like the queen of Egypt, I sit straight and I can converse about almost anything like there is nobody’s business. There are some ladies out there who walk like farmers. Nothing against farmers, but … you got my point. Talking like dis, totally, like, dis… it is not very wise for sure.

  185. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Brandon , you are a lucky succesful guy !
    Tanya is so beautiful .

  186. Angela says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!