7 years ago
5 Simple Ways to Spice Up Your Sugar on Valentine’s Day
  • Posted Feb 11, 2013


Are you looking get your significant other in the mood, but don’t know how? Sometimes, it doesn’t take endless spending or a lavish set-up to get that special someone going (although it does help). Valentine’s Day is that time of year for couples to express their love. But there is one element that must exist to turn a good Valentine’s Day into an unforgettable one: unpredictability. The less she can expect, the more she will love and appreciate your gestures.

Here are five easy ways to add a spark to any stage of a sugar relationship:

1.)    Love Letter, NOT Hallmark Card

Add sentiment to your evening by giving her a hand-written card or love letter. Remember, any guy can buy a card at the store. And, if you’re not the best writer, know this: ten times out of ten, a decently written card will be more appreciated than a great hallmark card. The point of Valentine’s Day is to make someone feel special, and nothing accomplishes this more than personally expressing your feelings on paper.

2.)    Intimate Meal, NOT Popular Restaurant

A meal at a restaurant is just that, another meal. For Valentine’s Day, you want her to feel desired and appreciated. Sometimes, the most intimate setting is a private meal that you both cook together. Flirting during the preparation is key, and sets the mood for the entire evening.

3.)    Candles, NOT Lights

Candles are the easiest and most effective way to establish the mood in any setting: the bedroom, the bathroom, the kitchen, you name it. Candles are adaptable, implicate romance, and are especially valued if a woman walks into the room by surprise.


4.)    Bubble Bath, NOT Shower

You’ve showered together numerous times, but how many times have you taken a tandem bubble bath? It’s intimate enough to where you are touching, yet soothing enough for you both to relax and enjoy. For extra points, scatter rose petals across the top of the water and include a bottle of her favorite champagne.

5.)    Experiment, NOT “Same-Old”

If there is any window to expand your intimacy, now is the time. Your sugar has been wined, dined, and taken care of—she should be in the mood for romance by now. First, see what activities you both would like to explore (role-playing, blindfolds, etc.). Start slow, allow room to adjust, and enjoy the experience(s) together.


What are some other ways to easily set the mood on Valentine’s Day?

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453 Responses to “5 Simple Ways to Spice Up Your Sugar on Valentine’s Day”

  1. RussianSB says:

    I wish to find that panth in which ”Leprechaun’s pot of gold” is hiden.
    Centurion card holders have hiden pots on their bodies, fo sure ! I go and scrach his belly now :))))

  2. RussianSB says:

    PS – you cannot shot 4 bullets in someone by mistake, 1 bullet – it is possible, 4 …hmmm, do you believe it ?

  3. RussianSB says:

    No surprise for V-day from me, I told you guys !

  4. RussianSB says:

    You put nice lingerie under Burberry trenchcoat, want make surprise for honey, and he shoot 4 bullets in you !

  5. JustATequilaSD says:

    “You would leave all your earthly possessions, and relocate all the good things in your life to the US. ”
    “You don’ t ask for much, do you?”

    I wasn’t asking for you to do all of that for lil ole me, I was merely telling you the side-effects. 😀

    Personally, I would rather see your design on a canvas, or the ceiling of a museum, if I REALLY had to love it. Even better, my friend is an artist, and could do a painting of you naked and surrealistically surrounded by the beast in your tattoo. One painting on canvas, and one on black velvet, because I do it old school. Maybe even a tribute to Boris Vallejo is in order. Hmmm.

  6. Treasured says:


    “You would leave all your earthly possessions, and relocate all the good things in your life to the US. ”

    You don’ t ask for much, do you? 😀


    As for MY tattoo – it is part of me. And anybody who IS with me is obliged to love it 😀 I come as a package, and the package is damn good 😀

    Re regretting it: NOT FOR A SECOND (not even knowing it would give me extra points with Tequila 😀 ). I don’t have it that long, BUT, every time i look in the mirror I love it more and more. I think it is beautiful…

    Ok, another 6 am start to make the package even better. First work out with a personal trainer 😀 His reaction was a star when I said I want a “better” body.
    Nevertheless, he got my points – so here we go 😀

  7. Frank says:

    Flyr I heard that Danica was a good driver, but has to have a spotter to parallel park.

    I had a young SB a couple of years ago, one time we went to her apartment because her room mates were gone for weekend. Next to her bed were a lot of her stuffed animals. That was strange.

  8. Kaycee says:

    Hey ladies and gentlemen,

    Can any one of you look at my profile and tell me what you think? I am not having much luck on here and need some advices.


  9. EllenSugarB says:

    …obviously in situation 2 I was not as into the guy, probably my ONLY NSA SD ever!…He knows I write on this blog and he will probably laugh his ass off because he remembers the night well and we remain friends.

  10. EllenSugarB says:

    Madeline, I’ve brought a girlfriend into the sugar equation on a couple of occasions to please my SD. In one case, I really liked the guy, we had been seeing each other for a long time, and I had planned to continue seeing him even after the experience. I told him, “I want to make you happy, and I will do this for you. She expects an allowance so I am going to give her an allowance.” I told my girlfriend that I liked the guy and this is a one time thing and that she is NOT to exchange contact information with my SD. He just wanted to watch us make out, and the two of them didn’t have any sexual contact, so I didn’t see any need for them to be able to contact each other. I personally gave her the allowance, out of my own money. My reasoning for giving her the allowance myself was 1) She is my friend and I care about her, I knew she expected and allowance so I wanted to ensure that she got it, it made it less transactional for the both of them, and she was really doing ME the favor by helping me please MY SD. (Uh huh, MY SD!!! lol) 2) I didn’t want the two of them having a relationship because I knew it would hurt my feelings if I had heard of them seeing each other even after I was no longer seeing him. I don’t want to prevent two people from happiness, but when I break it off, its “off”, and I don’t want to continue hearing about the person. SO…my solution was giving her the allowance myself, as a gift to him. He ended up giving me the money back that I gave to her. Even if he didn’t give me the money back it wouldn’t have mattered much.

    In the next situation with a different SD, he wanted to have a three girl experience and I said, “Ok, give me my last month of allowance and I will give you her number.” So he did. Then I fucked his friend that night. Just because he was hot and I wanted to.

  11. flyr says:

    @Theresa – If he is a non drinker perhaps just meeting for coffee might be a great starter.

    Noteworthy – We’re 5 days away from Danica Patrick starting Daytona 500, from the pole………..

  12. Frank says:

    Madeline- now that you have explained it more fully, I would say roll the dice and let him give you what he wishes. Sounds like he will come though for you.

  13. Stacy, says:

    Madeline – would your friend abd SD be open to a shopping spree with the three of you as a way for everyone to get to know each other? Can you explain all of this to your friend? If she’s in the sugar game she can probably figure out a non-transactional way of making everyone happy.

    Stop acting as the go between, and set up a getting to know you day between her and the SD, then let her do her own negotiating (knowing what your SD wants).

  14. Madeline says:

    “If you’re in a sugar relationship with this guy, and you’re getting paid, he should EXPECT for pot sb number 2 to get paid.”

    I guess that’s the issue – he’s what someone here once referred to as a “bleeding heart” SD. He doesn’t like anything transactional. So he ‘takes care’ of me in various ways, but we have no set allowance. He takes me on shopping sprees, and always leaves me with spending money (usually between 500 and 1500), but they key factor is that he gets to feel generous, not like he’s paying a bill at the end of the date/month, etc.
    So I’m nervous that I’d kill the excitement of the threesome if I brought up the sugar factor. I guess he’ll just have to deal!

    Thanks for the input!

  15. Stacy, says:

    Now for another controversial subject: age in an SB/SD arrangement, when and why is too young? Wwhat do you think of 60 year old SDs looking for a 18-22 year old SB? What’s this about?

  16. Stacy, says:

    I agree Frank, beauty fades, but vapid is forever. Lol

  17. Frank says:

    BTW-my SB has several tattoos. I am neutral on the subject generally, but one of tat’s is large and not tasteful. I have to mentally remove it every time I see her naked. That’s a hassle.

  18. Frank says:

    I didn’t say my friend was relying on her looks to make her way in the world, she was just used to her looks making it easier for it to happen. It was just a bit after that conversation that her long time rich boyfriend (I think it was a sd relationship) dumped her. She went into a tail spin for awhile. So let this be a lesson for you pretty SB’s, use the sugar to benefit yourself, not for conspicuous consumption.

    The second point I was making is that the SD’s of the world don’t have to do the body modification thing to be successful with the babes of the world, they just have to be willing to spend a bunch of money.

  19. JustATequilaSD says:

    ” artistic type of person, or potentially that they like attention”
    I have seen MANY such profiles. There’s only enough space in my bedroom for one attention whore.

    “I don’t have any, and couldn’t imagine getting any”
    Curious as your take on this if you don’t mind elaborating.

    ” if tastefully done (and that is based on what I think is tasteful) then I don’t mind at all”
    Because the tattoo’s beauty is in the eye of the beholder in your case, it’s easier for a girl to approach you (and similar guys) without worrying whether or not you will feel her ink is tasteful.

  20. JustATequilaSD says:

    tattoos – “I can’t avoid being judged as a junkie or a skeeve ”
    I can only suppose you had no idea that you’d be in such an appearance driven field, when you got the tattoos. I applaud your efforts to remove the tattoos, and encourage you to keep your arms covered even at the company picnics, corporate beach parties, etc.

    “sorry if I sound strung out”
    If ppl think youre a junkie, don’t use words like ‘strung out’ to describe yourself. (Pun has been lauched.) 😀

    @Jersey Darling
    “Can we not just accept that everyone is different”
    That would be a really good day.

    “I have a visceral reaction”
    As a “dork”, please indulge my tangent. Based on your “horndoggedness”, I can only imagine your brain attempting to match the tatt with all the porn you’ve seen. I have toyed with the idea of creating a pornstar tattoo database to make them more easily recognizable.(I said it first, and it’s here in print. So there.) It would allow “afficianados” to pick out their favorite stars from little known movies, which would further assist in Pornstar Movie Fantasy League. (Yeah, if it’s porn or a computer, there’s a nerd involved.) My mental database also helped me notice a few sugar profiles that were former stars. They’re in their late 20’s now. I’m not sure what they did with all that porn money, but they are finding it hard to meet the 10k/mo mortgage lately.

    Welcome back, btw.

  21. Honey says:

    Hello everyone hope everyone is doing well.I need to read up on my blog…Newbies and old friends…What has RussiaSb been up too, last I heard she was doing fashion consults and I have to get some more makeup for me AND my Mom. Can you believe she says she’s been using the same eyeliners for over Two years!!!?lol!

  22. JustATequilaSD says:

    “people who dislike tattoos like mine”
    I STILL don’t like the tattoo, but I liked you before I knew about it. You got grandfathered in. 🙂 The jury is still out on the rodeo, but they were undecided before I knew about the tattoo. So I guess it all balances out. Still haven’t decided if you’re ready for the rodeo. You would leave all your earthly possessions, and relocate all the good things in your life to the US. It’s such a huge responsibility to wield such penile power. Of course, ChuckECheese is ALWAYS a go. Someone will end up with a teddy bear. 🙂

    “Plus I remember CaliSB telling me to not get a tattoo because they’re ugly and SDs don’t like them haha.”
    You may not have liked the wording or the source, but the concept was valid. The idea is to have the widest audience possible, as you are attempting to appeal to an older generation that may or may not like tattoos. It’s just better product marketing. If you had an identical twin without the tattoo , I’d gravitate toward her first even if she had slightly smaller boobs. That way I can put her in any dress or outfit I want and never have to put a bandage, coverup, or patch on it.There are several reasons not to get a tattoo when you’re marketing your appearance, but if it makes you happy, then great.

    I personally gave up the tattoo idea in an attempt to avoid certain stigmas. If I’m going to get stigma’d, it will be for being a silly romantic that loves to be in love. (Yes, I know sugar is about being transactionally in lust.)

    ” pretty sad to still be relying on your looks for professional gain at 50″
    I won’t say it’s sad, everyone is trying to find their own way. Semi-retired at 50 would be the brass ring, and MOST people don’t have it planned out that way.

  23. Stacy, says:

    @WCSD – it’s fine to use your looks for romantic attention or drinks at a bar, but after age 30, in a professional capacity it lacks intelligence and sophistication.

    As Coco Chanel said “As a woman ages she must replace skin with sparkle, and beauty with accomplishment.” A sales person who has been doing their job for 20 years and finds that their looks aren’t opening the same doors is probably not keeping up with the times and needs to evaluate their approach. Sounds more like an issue of an old dog not wanting to learn new tricks to keep up with a less machismo business culture.

  24. DorkyGuy says:

    I don’t intentionally equate tattoos with intelligence, but I would be lying if I told you that I don’t on some subconscious level. When I see them, I have a visceral reaction, and it is hard not to judge the person. I wish I were evolved enough to say “I don’t judge” based on tattoos, but unless I make a conscious effort not to, I do..

    I guess I’m ok with tats on an SB, as long as they aren’t visible when we’re going out. “ok”, but really annoyed.

    Zoey, I am curious… Had you known how much negative reaction you would get from the tats, would you still have got them? If you could go back and have a chat with the younger version of yourself, what would you say?

  25. WCSD says:

    @Zoey – I look at tattoos as just another preference. Some SD’s prefer blondes, some prefer redheads, some like them tall, others short. I’d say that for someone ‘moderately’ tattooed as yourself (I don’t know if I’d consider that moderate…but whatever) you probably get more of an extreme reaction (either I love it, or I hate it). I’ve definitely never had an opinion of tattoos and intelligence. I’ve probably thought the person to be more of an artistic type of person, or potentially that they like attention (but that is probably would have to be more than some tattoos…). As I’ve said I don’t mind tattoos at all (to a degree), and have never been scared away from a profile that says I have tattoos. I don’t have any, and couldn’t imagine getting any, but if tastefully done (and that is based on what I think is tasteful) then I don’t mind at all.

  26. WCSD says:

    @Stacey – I don’t think Frank was saying she is relying on looks.
    She is a good salesperson. But if looks get you an added advantage, why wouldn’t you do it? And do you truly believe that you don’t get things based on looks? The bartenders attention, the waiter’s better service, a SD’s initial attention, etc… If those things started to go away, and it was simple to change that, wouldn’t you? I mean you dress up the first time you meet a SD because you want to look good right? You don’t show up in your jogging pants, you want to get the advantage of your appearance. This goes for men too. Many studies have found that tall and good looking men tend to get promoted faster than shorter and uglier men. Going to the extreme and doing something dangerous for a minor improvement is dumb, but it happens ALL the time. Hell, look at Lance Armstrong. Extreme and dangerous to get an advantage….

  27. Jersey Darling says:

    I had to skim the posts…

    Is there really a need to be so judgmental? Can we not just accept that everyone is different, expresses themselves in their own way, and finds pleasure in different things? If you don’t agree with it, you don’t have to look at them or be part of it.

    No one person will please everyone, so just leave them be and move on with your own life.

  28. Zoey says:

    I guess let me offer some insight on the whole tattoo thing.

    I’m what’s considered moderately tattooed. (ink on my side, half sleeve, lower side, and I have chest ink that’s getting lasered off..) I can cover everything up easily with a 3/4 sleeve dress except the chest tattoos, hence why they’re coming off and the fact that I feel that I just outgrew them.

    And no, because I have visible ink in a t-shirt does not mean I do drugs, have a drinking problem, or am a bum. I actually work in banking and have my series 6 exam this friday.. However, I can’t avoid being judged as a junkie or a skeeve which is something I’ve come to terms with unless whoever never sees my ink. I’ve considered lasering everything off that’s visible, but I can’t afford it and the pain factor would severely interfere with work. Bleh.

    As for SD’s, I’m actually used to some pots going MIA once they see my pics. (I put in my profile that I have tattoos.) Some actually like them a lot.. I’ve gotten a lot of compliments that I “am more intelligent than I look” which I kinda get.

    So yeah, ink = SD deterrent

    And sorry if I sound strung out, I’m tired from work and half asleep. 😐

  29. Stacy, says:

    I agree with Tequila, pretty sad to still be relying on your looks for professional gain at 50, especially as more CEOs are now women and immune to your appearance even at 22.

  30. Bella says:

    Fair enough, Treasured. Most men like the woman underneath the mods but not all…my stepdad would be one (hence why he doesn’t know I have a tattoo lol). Plus I remember CaliSB telling me to not get a tattoo because they’re ugly and SDs don’t like them haha.

    Oh, this weekend my SD and I are going to see a Mozart concert! *swoon* 😀

  31. Treasured says:

    Like, look at the Tequila here 😀

    Moi, tattoos and all and he still offers me Chuck and Cheese + rodeo anytime 😀

  32. Treasured says:

    @ Bella – My tattoo is huge, yet not normally visible. And even people who dislike tattoos like mine 😀

    You know why? Because, men, in general, like the woman. And if they like her, they don’t care about any body modifications 😀

  33. JustATequilaSD says:

    ” Let everyone desire whatever type they want without shame. ”

    That would be great if the system wasn’t already fucked. The current US social system currently caters to big-boobed barbies. Add in visual reinforcement from tv and movies, for extra kick (whether intentionally or unintentionally.) So to get in on some of that social wealth, many people will alter themselves or hang out with these people simply attempting to fit in on the fringe.

    So when a father tells his son that he’ll be proud of him if he brings home a debbie, or when a mother tells her daughter the way to get a rich man is to look like barbie, the saga just continues.

    I clearly understand both comments. If you’re in a sugar relationship with this guy, and you’re getting paid, he should EXPECT for pot sb number 2 to get paid. But to reiterate my point, you can’t get upset if she becomes a more repetitious part of your relationship as long as he feels he can afford you both. But if that’s not a concern then all the better. Broker the deal in a similar fashion that you brokered your own. They say pimpin’ ain’t easy, but business is business. 🙂

    She had to know this day would come some day. There was a time when I thought Joan Rivers had a decent look, but now I’d be afraid to get her near an open flame.

  34. Bella says:

    I have yet to meet a pot SD who dislikes my tattoo or tattoos in general. All the men I’ve shown mine to have said they liked it and found it to be simple and elegant. I was worried at first, I thought it would affect my chances of finding a SD, but it hasn’t at all. In fact, my new SD loves tattoos on women, though he doesn’t have any himself. I guess I got lucky!

  35. Frank says:

    I had a conversation with a woman last year who was approaching 50. She had always been a knock out, vivacious, popular trendy sort. Anyway, she was confiding in me that she could feel her beauty slipping away. She was in sales at the time, and she said before she could always get in so see the President/chairman whatever and give him her pitch. Now it was becoming iffy to get in to see him.
    When you are used to your looks opening all doors, its hard to get used to them being closed.

    So for all you SB’s, I can understand your desire for nips and tucks. Its about the same for me, I just eliminate the middle man, I don’t give my money to the plastic surgeon, I give it directly to my SB. No middle man!

  36. WCSD says:

    As for the ‘modifications’ to women, here are my preferences:

    Boobs – I prefer them small and pert, so no boob job, but not a deal breaker.
    Tattoos – I’m a little younger than most SD’s so I don’t mind tattoos, to a point of course.

    As for judging…I reserve the right to judge an individual based on their appearance. If you tattoo your boyfriend’s name across your face, I WILL judge you. If you blow up your boobs to be so big you look ridiculous, I WILL judge you. I may be wrong in my judgement, but I’ll judge nonetheless.If you look like an idiot…I’ll pretty much assume you are an idiot…
    What I won’t do is based on an individual I won’t judge all people who have any tattoos or boob jobs.

  37. WCSD says:

    @Theresa – Your warning for your friend is interesting. “So everyone make sure you have an agreement or else you may end up being treated like a whore”. Was she treated like a whore, or did she act like a whore? I’ve definitely gone on dates where I’ve gotten a ‘little blow’ on the first date without asking for it, and no agreement in place. Now in my case it ended up working out for us (for a period of time anyway), but what guy would turn one down? If a SD was thinking ‘hmmm, not sure this is going to work out’, and she suggested, or just straight out provided a bj, would he really turn it down? That would be equivalent to a SB turning down cash knowing that she isn’t going to be with the SD for any period of time…it just doesn’t happen.

    Again, your story is just missing information. Maybe she was fooled…maybe she was the fool. Either or, the better lesson is to only do what you are comfortable doing on any date.

  38. EllenSugarB says:

    Dorky that was a great explanation. I’m going to use that!

  39. EllenSugarB says:

    I’ve been to parks, in broad daylight, with potential or current SDs. I prefer a hike over a bar any day.

    A park at night, in general, has a certain propensity for danger. During the day, especially with people around…I don’t see a real problem with that.

  40. EllenSugarB says:

    Thumbs up for the emphasis on being HAPPY.

  41. DorkyGuy says:

    @Madeline~ yeah, just tell your SD that your friend is open to the idea of sugar, and is wondering what the arrangement will be. If he deflects to sex talk again, just tell him “that’s not her motivation for being in sugar”.

    @Theresa (and others): Not going in a bar is a red flag? I am not a drinker, and bars aren’t really my element. Hanging out at the park actually sounds like a cool way to get to know each other (provided she feels safe). I don’t know that that’s an iron clad red flag.

  42. EllenSugarB says:

    Yes, Madeline. You are going to have to spell it out for him. There isn’t any reason for him to get his feelings hurt. Present it very simply that this is a preference/expectation of hers regardless of you two being a hot couple. Do you want your friend to end up like theresa’s sister??…Giving a little blow and never hearing from the guy again. I wouldn’t think so.

  43. EllenSugarB says:

    Thumbs up for the emphasis on HEALTHY being attractive.

  44. Madeline says:

    Zooey, Frank, Tequila –
    Looks like I didn’t explain this well. My friend recently joined SA, and is meeting people, and is totally comfortable with sugar.
    I just don’t really know how to explain to my SD that my friend probably won’t be interested in joining if sugar isn’t involved, without hurting his feelings. He thinks we’re a ‘hot couple’ and that she’d be lucky to join. He’s a very generous guy, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he knows to have a little something waiting for her, but I don’t reallly want to risk it.

    Looks like I’ll just have to spell it out for him?

  45. Treasured says:

    I think the main thought should be that we all, regardless of our view of the beauty, should concentrate on being happy in our skin (boob jobs, extensions included). If one feels happy in a size 0 and needs G boobs on top – so be it. If one thinks that 18 is beautiful – so be it.
    But what we should NOT do is to judge other person’s life choices. It is his body and if you can’t accept – don’t criticise.

    AND, DEFINITELY, NOT MAKE assumptions that 1) Big boobs = stupid 2)Skinny = anorexic 3)Overweight = lazy slob 4)Tattoos = does drugs and low intellect and etc. etc. etc.

  46. Theresa says:

    @flyr I met him outside the bar and when I suggested we go in he said “Oh I haven’t been inside a bar in ages.” I know I should have seen the red flag. Silly me, but I hadn’t been on a meet and greet for a really long time and I was feeling a little desperate. Yeah, I know parks are dangerous which is why I didn’t go into the park. I shouldn’t have got into his car either, but this is a car town so….anyway I got home safe and I’ll just chalk it up to a lesson learned. The next time someone tells me they won’t take me out for drinks, that’ll just be the end of the meet and greet. I guess I’m not that desperate after all.
    @honey circumcised, uncircumcised, I don’t really care. Just give me at least 6 inches and a guy who knows how to use it and I’m a very, very happy girl.
    General note: Be careful girls, don’t give it up before making a clear agreement or else you will end up like my step sister. She went on a date with a guy she met on another site, gave him a little blow on the first date and now he won’t go out with her anymore. It’s just shameful and it’s her fault. I told her not to do anything with him and then kept wondering why he wouldn’t take her out anymore, he kept making excuses about his daughters and his job, and then she tells me that she gave him some in the park (that damn park!!). And she didn’t get anything out of it but a few drinks from a cheap bar. So everyone make sure you have an agreement or else you may end up being treated like a whore. Dang I wish she would have listened to me.

  47. Lo says:

    yes it would be nice if we all could embrace what we have and love our imperfections but this isn’t utopia. This is planet Earth. So we will continue coloring our hair, dieting and exercising, getting nips and tucks maybe not now but in the far future, and doing what we can to change/improve our outer appearance because our outer appearance affects our lives. It’s what’s on the inside and what’s on the outside. I would think SB’s would understand this concept very well. London I don’t think girls just necessarily get breast augmentation because guys will automatically like them more for it. It’s because it changes how we feel about ourselves, which radiates from the inside out, which is attractive to other people. That in turn changes our life for the better.

  48. Honey says:

    From Twiggy to Marilyn to Iman. Isn’t it all a matter of preference? Who dares to tell someone else what THEY should aspire to. To be pretty? Beauty is so arbitrary, ask a Swede how “exotic” blondes are. Le everyone desire whatever type they want without shame. If you like the big girls, you should not be laughed at or made to expect that you have to have a very thin girl on your arm. My mom was very thin growing up and she had no boobs. She could wear those wrap around blouses so elegantly. If I put on that I’m busting out all over. She told me my dad used to tell her about her breasts, “More than a mouthful is wasted”

  49. London Girl says:

    @ Dorky, you’re sooooo sweet, what a kind offer!

    @ Treasured, we agree on something!

    Body shape and what is considered the current ideal is completely driven by fashion and the media, a couple of hundred years ago the beauty ideal was a woman we would now consider to be grossly overweight and unattractive, just look at any of the nude portraits by the Great Masters. in the 1920’s flat-chested boyish figures were the aspiration, 1950’s if you weren’t a voluptuous Marilyn Monroe-lookielikey then you were unattractive, 10 years later it was the reverse.

    We should embrace what we have and learn to love our imperfections, they are what makes us unique.

  50. Treasured says:

    ” I just feel agitated that society tells girls that they need to be perfect and should go to extreme measures, no matter the cost or suffering, to attain that unreachable goal of perfection.”

    I think lately the common educated attitude has changed. It is more emphasised on being HEALTHY and happy.
    As for offers of boob jobs as a 16th BD present – again, it is PARENTS (family) who does that. Not society.

    “Maybe what we should do as a society is emphasize to children that people come in all different shapes, sizes, colours and abilities and what makes us interesting as individuals is our differences… Do we really want to live in a world where only one form of beauty is acceptable?”

    Exactly. I would add HEALTHY. Because both being extremely overweight and being extremely underweight is unhealthy.

    YET, if a person chooses to go down the surgery route, it is one’s choice and HE/SHE is NOT RESPONSIBLE in ANY way for other people’s self esteem or perception of the beauty.

  51. DorkyGuy says:

    I know that it’s common for girls to feel self-conscious about their body image.

    I think I can speak on behalf of the other blog guys… We want to do our part to help. So, whenever you are having a down day, just post pictures of your boobs, and us blog guys will compliment them.

    Just doing our part to promote feminism and positive self-image, as a public service.

  52. London Girl says:

    I don’t know anybody who is completely happy with their body but I find the plastic surgery route and the ease that people feel with it a little disturbing, I completely respect the right of anybody to alter their body if they so choose, what I don’t understand is why they think changing a part of their body is going to result in their lives being changed for the better which seems to be a common theme.

    I’m ridiculously busty naturally, I went for a consultation with a doctor years ago to enquire about a reduction, the only reason that I even considered such a drastic move was because of the non-stop, quite unpleasant attention my breasts got. I eventually decided against it after realising what a huge (no pun intended) operation it actually was and the permanent scarring that would result. In contrast, I have several friends who have had boob-jobs to increase their size thinking that it would magically make them more attractive to men. If a man only finds you attractive because of the size of your breasts then I think you’re better off without him.

    Maybe what we should do as a society is emphasize to children that people come in all different shapes, sizes, colours and abilities and what makes us interesting as individuals is our differences… Do we really want to live in a world where only one form of beauty is acceptable?

  53. Bella says:

    I have nothing against body modification of anykind, I just feel agitated that society tells girls that they need to be perfect and should go to extreme measures, no matter the cost or suffering, to attain that unreachable goal of perfection. I find it particularly disgusting that parents are getting their daughters nose jobs and boob jobs for their 16th birthdays and shit. Ugh.

    However, I naturally have D/DD boobs and I love them. They’re not as big as they sound because my band size is only 32/34. But they’re certainly a fun handful! 😀

  54. DorkyGuy says:

    It’s a good thing that boys don’t generally play with barbies… or they’d have have nightmares of their penis falling off.

    And yes, I played with Barbies. I got to hang out with this cute girl who was totally into barbies… had the house and everything. I would play Ken, but I always made her mad because Ken was always leaving the picnic to be a superhero or stunt man.

  55. SDinLA says:

    @DorkyGuy But then the next day your coworkers filled you in on how female anatomy worked? 😉

    I keed, I keed, I’m sure you were having sex dreams well before adulthood. It must have been a shock to wake up from your first sex dream to Mt. Rushmore in Little Dorky’s Pajama bottoms, “Aaaah, Help!!!! Mom, something’s crushing me!!! Oh, wait….”

    (You played with Barbies? That explains a lot…)

  56. Frank says:

    I am pure, no plastic breasts, to tats no piercings, I am pure. Would say more, but time to get ready for work, got to have enough time to shave.

  57. DorkyGuy says:

    True story… in my first sex dreams, the women were completely featureless down under because of Barbie. When i first saw what a vag looked like, i was like “what the hell?!”

  58. EllenSugarB says:

    hahahaha…where ARE Barbies nipples??!?!

    More importantly, Stacy, where is Ken’s penis???? No really. No penis, and no wallet in his wardrobe…whyyyyy is he missing the two things men are good for? (Kidding. Kidding. Kidding.)

  59. EllenSugarB says:

    I love you guys…but I am NOT responsible for someone elses self esteem issues which I allegedly impose on them because I chose to alter my own body.

    We are all in charge of our own heads.

    I agree that if you don’t like it then don’t look.

    It’s ok to have preferences such as “I don’t like tattoos” or “Don’t date a significant other on medication for depression.” (…geez I can’t even believe you went there, flyr…but whatever) – it’s just that, a preference. But when you take it to the point of saying, “People with tattoos/people on medication/people over 50 do x,y,z, they’re so baaaaad” then it becomes a judgment. That’s fine if you want to be judgmental. Just remember, as my Grandma chimes, “When we judge others we open ourselves to be judged.” Personally, I don’t like people judging me – or making decisions based on an assumption. So I TRY not to do it to other people.

  60. Zoey says:

    @Flyr You are a straight out judgmental douche. I think it’s you that should be bleached out of the gene pool.

  61. Stacy, says:

    True story, when I was little I thought nipples went away after you grow breasts (because Barbie doesn’t have nipples). I was so disappointed when I realized that wasn’t the case, lol.

  62. Treasured says:

    Stacy – that a completely different problem.

    Girls (and people in general) will always have self esteem problems. And every person, wants it or not is left to deal with those on his own. If one can’t deal with it – welcome to the shrink’s office.

    The less people would blame other people about their issues, the better place world would be.

    If we are talking about general image – shall we ban Barbies too? They also have big boobs, and, I bet, damage every girl’s self esteem much more and at a much younger age.

    Self esteem will not be lowered by a Pamela Anderson on telly. Family, friends and bullies – THAT is what plays a crucial part.
    Not a stranger with silicon boobs.

  63. Stacy, says:


    My whole point is that plastic boobs ARE damaging to young impressionable girls with petite bodies who are still developing their identity.

    If women were getting a self-esteem microchip implanted, in a way that didn’t perpetuate negative stereotypes and dangerous fashion trends, I wouldn’t care. But, as I’ve said repeatedly, the problem with plastic boobs is that it damages other people’s self esteem – leaving young girls with beautiful, healthy bodies to think they have to mutilate and distort themselves in order to be acceptable.

  64. Treasured says:

    @ FLYR!!! ” ….visible tattoos as a sure sign we’re not putting enough chlorine in the shallow end of the gene pool. If you are a world class MMA fighter or a soldier at the tip of the spear that’s another case as you earned the right, but the lowlifes running around are a sad commentary on our society”

    You did NOT just say IT!???!!!!!

    I am not going to go as far as just to comment it.

    BUT. @EVERYBODY. Some of you, people, are just so judgemental. And so quick to curse/condemn anyone who’s view on life is slightly different.

    If a person chooses to “mutilate” as you say, his/her OWN body – what the f*ck it has to do with you? Don’t like it – don’t look.

    Everybody has his own decisions to make.

    And let’s think, a woman has a breast augmentation. For whatever reason. Most girls I talked with (I am not talking about botched boob-jobs) are saying that that is the best thing they have done for themselves. They are happy, self esteem goes up. No one is harmed.
    And now I wonder, who is shallow after a all? A girl who made her life happier, or a person, who discusses “how horrible it is” and “looks at the pictures” to prove the point. Again. And again. And again.

  65. DorkyGuy says:

    @Stacy, very nice! You’ll have every guy saying “Are you my SB?”

  66. EllenSugarB says:

    you guys are awesome!!!

  67. Stacy, says:

    Congratulations! Today is your day, you’re off to seak Sugar, you’re off and away.

    You have brains in your head, pedicured toes in your shoes, you can start the conversation ‘tward and amounts you choose.

    You’ll look up and down winks, look ’em over with care, about some you will say “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains, and your shoes Chanel sweet, you’re too smart to go down any cheap, mean, gross street.

  68. DorkyGuy says:

    If someone had the inclination, I bet there is a terrific SD parody of “Hop on Pop”!

  69. Stacy, says:

    Sorry SDinLA, my applause belonged to your adaptation, not Tequila’s.

  70. SDinLA says:

    @DorkyGuy and EllenSugarB That was a parody of the Dr. Seuss story “The Sneetches” That’s why you heard Dr. Seuss! 😉

  71. EllenSugarB says:

    hahaha…two sizes too small

  72. EllenSugarB says:

    i heard dr suess too…thats why i liked it

    the yoga will help with the attention and the awkwardness…i promise 🙂

  73. DorkyGuy says:

    @SDinLA~ LOL! For some reason, I read that to the rhythm of Dr. Seuss, and all the Beetches were on the beach in Whoville.

    Did McBean have a penis that was “two sizes too small”?

  74. Stacy, says:

    Love it Tequila, my applause. 😉

  75. Bella says:

    @Dorky, you bet it would be! 😉

    @ Ellen, I know but I always feel awkward lol. Plus kickboxing can hold my attention better, I lose focus easily. 😛

  76. EllenSugarB says:

    hahaha…Beetches. that was awesome

  77. EllenSugarB says:

    Bella, ooooh kickboxing…my girlfriends really like kickboxing so I think I will try a group class. I like the social aspect of group exercise classes.

    By the way, you don’t have to be physically flexible to do yoga. It is intended for all levels, even people in their 80s and 90s! Its considered “mind-body” exercise, or “moving meditation.” I taught Yoga for years. Yes, me, fake tits and all … telling all of my students to love their bodies, love who they are on the inside and not be so concerned with the outside, and learn from my mistakes.

  78. SDinLA says:

    Now the Big-busted Beetches had large sweater pups.
    The Small-busted Beetches were more like A-cups.
    Some pups are quite large, some pups are just small
    You might think such a thing wouldn’t matter at all.

    But, because they had boobs, all the Big-busted Beetches
    Would brag, “We’re the best kind of Beetch on the beaches.”
    With their boobs in the air, they would sniff and they’d snort
    “We’ll have nothing to do with the small-chested sort!”
    And whenever they met some when they were out walking,
    They’d bounce right on past them without even talking.

    yadda yadda fast forward….

    Then one day it seems while the Small-busted Beetches
    Were moping and doping alone on the beaches,
    Just sitting there wishing their chests had melons
    A stranger walked up who like nothing like a felon

    “My friends”, he announced in a voice clear and clean
    My name is Doctor McDreamy McBean
    “I’ve heard of your troubles, I’ve heard you’re unhappy.
    But I can fix that, I’m the breast-implant chappie.”

    (everyone gets breast implants)

    (nobody is happy when everyone is busty so they pay the surgeon more to remove the implants)

    Then when every last cent of their money was spent.
    The breast-implant chappie packed up. And he went.
    And he laughed as he walked away from the beach
    “They never will learn. No. You can’t teach a Beetch!”

    But McBean was quite wrong. I’m quite happy to say.
    That the Beetches got really quite smart on that day.
    That day they decided that Beetches are Beetches.
    And no kind of Beetch is the best on the beaches.
    That day all the Beetches forgot about breasts and whether
    They had large ones or small.

  79. DorkyGuy says:

    So basically, what I am getting from this convo is that a 3-way with Bella and Ellen would be the best of both worlds.

  80. EllenSugarB says:

    To set the record straight I have NOT lost sensation. But the boobs do make my back hurt.

  81. EllenSugarB says:

    Rodeo Drive can be downright SCARY sometimes with all of the trendy augmentation. It doesn’t make me feel sassy and maternal, but it does make me feel kinda sad. All of the young women I know hear from me with my boobs, stupid (hidden) tattoo, hole from a belly button piercing, and all of my other irreversible “oops”…”Don’t change a thing. You are absolutely beautiful just the way you are.”

    Unfortunately, I had a bitter (homely, and not so attractive) stepmother who INSTEAD of telling me something positive like “Love yourself for who you are. You’re beautiful inside and out”, sent her message by constantly bitching and ripping on women who did things to enhance their appearance – her ranting had the reverse effect that she had intended. My Dad, on the other hand, gave me more positive messages like “Youre smart. You’re beautiful.” etc…unfortunately he didn’t get the message to me until after the spiteful bitch did the damage.

  82. Stacy, says:

    @Lo – avoiding the wrinkles is what the massive Prada glasses and regular facials my SD gets me are for. Lol

    But, to clarify, I’m not objecting to plastic surgery as a whole. I’m objecting to young naive girls permanently trading size for sensation.

  83. Bella says:

    @Ellen, thank you. 🙂 It’s been a lot of ups and downs but I’m finally at a place where I can say I’m happy with my body for the most part. Even more importantly, I’m happy with myself as a whole.

    I’ve been told to try yoga, I’m just not very flexible haha. I’m hoping I can maybe start kickboxing again soon though. I like the power and control I feel when I do it. 😀

  84. JustATequilaSD says:

    I wasn’t very funny today, sorry. 🙁

    I like the idea of avoiding unnecessary cosmetic surgery, tattoos, and odd piercings. This is my particular opinion. I refuse to call anyone stupid if they choose to do so, and in some cases they have the option to reverse the instance if they change their mind.

  85. Stacy, says:

    Sorry Ellen – spent the weekend with my sweetie SB shopping on Rodeo drive and just saw too many beautiful girls who’ve traded their health for a fleeting beauty fad has me feeling sassy and maternal.

    Ladies, love your bodies as much as I love my perfect new nude Chanel peep toe pumps!

    Is that more positive?

  86. Lo says:

    Stacy–so I guess you’re planning on staying sexy and confident in your skin for life? No future plans for procedures to your face when you start jowling, sagging, wrinkling? Talk to us when you’re sixty boo.

  87. EllenSugarB says:

    ….oh here we go now…All Aboard to Negative Town!!!!

  88. Lo says:

    Aesthetically speaking I prefer a modestly done breast augmentation over a completely flat chest. I like an hourglass figure over the skinny no ass and no tits model look. Sorry about your “disgust” and your being selective about what you found insulting on this blog.

  89. EllenSugarB says:

    Bella, I am very happy that you went from being challenged with your body image to feeling sexy and confident! Thats great!

    Personally, I have found that practicing Yoga really helps with embracing a healthy self image.

  90. Stacy, says:

    According to the World Health Organization: Female Genital mutilation is partial or complete removal of the external female genitalia, or other injury to the female genital organs, for non-medical reasons.

    So, lets see – cutting into a sexual organ (leaving unsightly scars and reducing sensation and function), tearing tissue from muscle, stuffing a plastic bag into the incision, inflating it to a point beyond it’s natural capacity, at great risk to the recipient for pure aesthetic purposes.

    Then, acting as though obvious plastic is the ideal form of feminine beauty, thereby perpetuating a culture of “me to” among still-developing young girls and teaching them to hate, modify, and mutilate their bodies in pursuit of a transient and unattainable (and to many, undesirable) state of inflated visual perfection, while reducing enjoyment and requiring repeated future surgical adjustments over time is better than learning to feel confident and sexy in your skin?

    No wonder America is the land of super size, too many people mistake quantity for quality.

  91. DorkyGuy says:

    @Ellen~ Ok, “stupid” was admittedly a little harsh… How about “ill-advised”? 😛

  92. EllenSugarB says:

    alright guys…without calling anyone out…there are some ignorant things that have been said in the past week since I’ve been on the blog. I’ll leave it at that ONLY because I actually like some of the people saying the ignorant things.

  93. EllenSugarB says:

    haha dorky “If someone is taking C’s and turning them into D’s or larger, with all of the physical problems that come with that size increase, that’s just stupid.”

    Well call me stupid why don’t you! Actually I agree with you that my back would be thanking me right now had I not gotten the unnecessary increase. But I don’t think its very nice to call people “stupid.”

    Personally, I made the decision to get boobs at the naive age of 19. I wish I had waited and thought a little more about the decision. I would tell anyone not to do it – women are beautiful as is!

  94. DorkyGuy says:

    sneaks into the blog and gooses Honey

    On the boob size issue…. Kristen Bell, Amy Smart, Natalie Portman, and Kiera Knightley, Kate Hudson are all delicious. I would have to check, but I think they are all B cup or less.

    Far more important to me than the size is that you have them!

  95. Bella says:

    I… won’t say anything more, otherwise I’ll incite the wrath of the blog gods.

    As a person who has suffered with an eating disorder and body image issues for 6 years, I’m disgusted. That’s all.

  96. EllenSugarB says:

    Hmmm…who is the funniest..Dorky? Tequila? SDinLA? SO close!

  97. Lo says:

    Welp that’s my opinion. Just like it’s others harsh opinion that a boob job is the equivalent of genital mutilation.

  98. Bella says:

    @Lo, wow, flat chested isn’t as good as a boob job? That’s harsh. I know plenty of sexy, confident, small-chested women who would strongly disagree and would be downright insulted by your comment. I also know a number of men who would disagree as well.

  99. Lo says:

    lol mmmm give me a smooth uncircumcised penis any day hahaha that thing glides!

  100. Stacy, says:

    I actually agree with you Honey, why get rid of the most sensitive skin, just teach boys to bathe.

  101. Honey says:

    I’m a purist and see male circumcision as a form of genital mutilation. It also reduces sensation.

  102. flyr says:

    I look at massive breast augmentation, guys with 1 inch ear piercings and both sexes with abundant, visible tattoos as a sure sign we’re not putting enough chlorine in the shallow end of the gene pool. If you are a world class MMA fighter or a soldier at the tip of the spear that’s another case as you earned the right, but the lowlifes running around are a sad commentary on our society.

    Sadly the media loves this stuff as long as they do not have to live with the results.

    I think the two women most associated with JFK illustrate the breadth of awesome sexual attraction – slender, intellectual Jackie and Marlyn who midwest has pointed out was a full size 12 but every oz a homewrecker……………… l

  103. Lo says:

    good boob job > flat chest or deflated boobs that sags down to ones knees

  104. JustATequilaSD says:

    Are you comfortable enough in your sugar to have this girl partake in your adventure? Is it what you want? Will it ruin the current dynamic in any way?

  105. JustATequilaSD says:

    Tattoos are no longer permanent, but the procedure is not flawless.

    I don’t particularly like fake boobs.

    Why would you get a clitectomy? Or cut your nipples off to make scars that some ppl think are cool?

  106. Frank says:

    Madeline-How would your friend feel about you being a SB, how would you feel having her know you are a SB. If you are OK with those two issues then here is how to proceed.

    Tell him you talked with your friend and she says she will join you for $$$. (what ever amount you decide). That way, its not coming from you, and he shouldn’t be taken back by it. If he agrees, then you can talk to your friend and let her in on the sugar fun.

    I have no comment on breast augmentation subject, except I refuse to have my done!

  107. Stacy, says:

    @Lo – I’m the first one to warn about the SD who acts like a high roller then gives $100 to the naive SB. I always tell newbies on this site to get their gift$ up front and know their market value.

  108. Lo says:

    actually a better use of this blog full of impressionable SBs is to warn them against the johns frequenting the site looking for discount escorts. Chances are a girl who has made the decision to undergo breast surgery is going to do it regardless of all this fear mongering.

  109. DorkyGuy says:

    @SDinLA~ don’t worry about it… I showed up at the pool in my speedo, and now your girlfriend’s loins are frothing again.

  110. DorkyGuy says:

    I did a quick google search, and was pleased to discover that the most common size for augmentation is C. This corresponds with what most men really prefer (at least when they aren’t out drinking with their buddies).

    If a girl is upgrading to a C, that means she was probably an A or B to start with. In this cruel world, I have some compassion for that A cup girl, and if she wants to do something about it, I don’t have a problem with it.

    If someone is taking C’s and turning them into D’s or larger, with all of the physical problems that come with that size increase, that’s just stupid.

  111. SDinLA says:

    I wore a Speedo to the pool the other week and my GF said it was genital mutilation because seeing me in a Speedo reduced her sexual response. 😉

    (I am not a fan of augmented breasts, but I believe in a woman’s right to choose to augment hers, regardless of how tasteful/less the results may be.)

  112. Stacy, says:

    Jersey – my original post specifically referred to elective augmentation and excused reconstruction (whether from cancer or genetic misfortune).

    Breasts, when not used in their intended purpose of nourishing children, and in our modern culture, ARE sexual organs, which is why I specifically refer to it as genital mutilation.

    If women were opting to reduce their sexual response by placing plastic bags in their brain’s pleasure sensor I would refer to that as genital mutilation as well.

  113. Jersey Darling says:

    If someone had breast cancer, is it “genital mutilation” for them to have cosmetic surgery on their breasts?

    I’m personally OK with any surgery someone decides to do with their body. There are some crazy things people choose to do but at the end of the day it’s their body not mine…

  114. Jersey Darling says:

    How is it genital mutilation if it isn’t your genitals?

    Just saying. Boob mutilation maybe. And that’d be where the phrase Breast Augmentation comes in…

  115. Stacy, says:

    But, Dorky – a number of impressionable SBs are reading this blog and if I can prevent one girl from mutilating her body in such an extreme and damaging way, then it is useful. We need to make a cultural shift away from the opinion that quantity supercedes quality. Especially, when so many women are choosing bad surgeons or disfiguring sizes and ending up with a finished product that will forever be a gross distortion of feminine beauty.

  116. DorkyGuy says:

    I don’t like tattoos, but I stop short of calling it mutilation. I just don’t see how it is helpful to use language that insults listeners who can’t change past decisions, even if you can somehow make them regret it. I don’t believe in abortion, but I would avoid calling it “baby killing”, out of respect for someone listening who may have had one. The extreme language doesn’t influence anyone and only hurts people.

  117. Lo says:

    [email protected] comparing clitorectomys to BA’s woww

  118. Stacy, says:

    I hear the right surgeon can make a clitorectomy look great too. Perhaps surgeons can start offering mutilation two for ones.

  119. Lo says:

    most girls just don’t do their diligent research when it comes to finding a surgeon. All of the above can easily be avoided with the right doctor.

  120. DorkyGuy says:

    What’s wrong with a vomitorium? Virtually all modern stadiums and theaters have them, and I have never heard patrons complain. Personally, I rather appreciate a well designed vomitorium.

  121. Stacy, says:

    Occassionally, VERY occasionally, Zoey, they rock. But, the vast majority of the time fake boobs reduce sensation, cause ugly scarring, leave weird ripply seams at the sides, and give bad really severe cleavage.

    In 300 years people are going to look at them like African lip plates and Roman vomitoriums.

  122. Jersey Darling says:

    Actually an IUD at puberty would be a terrible idea. Unless you have one monogamous partner you are more likely to get STDs with an IUD and many gyno’s will refuse to do it for you unless you’ve already had a child.

    Re: unprotected oral sex, well – that’s why you need to be careful who you’re with. Wakeup call to those who don’t know – oral SHOULD be protected because you can get lifelong diseases from it (including herpes and AIDS). If you’re going to be promiscuous, at least make sure you trust that your partners have been tested.

    Also, sex ed tip of the day – condoms don’t fully protect against STDs. Any area not covered by the condom can result in you getting HPV, Herpes, or any other skin-to-skin transmitted disease.

  123. Zoey says:

    @Lo I always ask my partner to test, sugar or not sugar. Also it seems he had unprotected penetration with her. So skeevy..

    Also fake boobies rock! (When they’re done right anyway.) I have fake boobs and work in banking, so I guess I’m a smart girl with fake boobs? ;p

    @Madeline does your friend know your SD wants to sleep with her? Let her know if not. She might go for it if the allowance is right and/or she wants to experiment.. but if she doesn’t want to then there’s nothing you can do. but hey, it’s worth a shot.

  124. Madeline says:

    Advice! I have a lovely SD. And lately he’s been asking about a threesome. I’m happy to oblige. BUT he wants me to bring along the third myself, a girlfriend I told him about who recently joined the site (whom I’ve slept with in the past.)

    I don’t know how to broach the subject of sugar for her.
    He keeps asking about whether she’s joining or not, and so last time I said “I haven’t brought it up yet. Deciding how to go about it. What does she get out of it?” He either didn’t catch my drift, or refused to.
    He carried on some dirty talk about what she’d get out of it.

    My guy is great and charming, etc. But he’s 50 with grey hair and a beer belly, and this girl is 24 and stunning. The last threesome she and I had was for fun, but with a famous, gorgeous 31 year old photographer. It’s a little different scenario. But clearly I can’t tell my SD that we have to ‘grease the wheels’ so to speak.


  125. Frank says:

    Thanks a lot Tequilla- I have a preteen daughter, and now I’m going to have night mares!!

    Who was it that suggested an IUD at puberty? I’m in!!!

  126. JustATequilaSD says:

    ” do not fear the consequences of getting pregnant because they know that even it their family is unable or unwilling to help them with their newborn, the government will step in”

    Although I have seen teenage girls get pregnant for ulterior motives, many of you are forgetting the biggest reason. Fifteen year old girls can be notoriously stubborn especially when they THINK they are in love. Rationality will take a back seat many times, as they lie to you, and sneak out of the house to be deflowered by captain of the football team or some bad boy. In a society where pro-choice is a trip to the pharmacy or that special doctor,and easily affordable, there is no pressure for consequence 9 months later. Of course, teenage boys are just as irrational when they tell her “we’ll be together forever”, before realizing that was an overstatement. So faced against the irrationality of teenagers, it makes me wonder at which point I’ll have the condom talk with my kids. Prevention and planning are still viable in my book. And if “unwanted” pregnancies are on the decline, I guess I’m ok with that. Money, and life experience help, but it still doesn’t make you a good parent.

  127. Lo says:

    I hope the same people who talk crap on breast augmentation are also never planning on getting a facelift, botox, fillers or any other kind of body modification AKA “damage” to ones body

  128. Stacy, says:

    Well, considering I believe elective breast augmentation (except in cases of reconstruction) to be a form of genital mutilatuon, perhaps those SBs should make more in order to accommodate for the damage a surgeon has done to their body.

  129. flyr says:

    @stacey “Of course, the intelligent type of sugar girl requires quite an inve$tment because she knows how rare she is in the sugar bowl; pretty faces and plastic boobs are a dime a dozen.”

    As a pseudo economist – perhaps the pretty faces and plastic boobs should require (deserve ) a larger SD investment due to accelerated depreciation………….

  130. Lo says:

    Just read TheDirty article. A man found a girl off SA who was willing to meet for two hundred each time. She gave him an unprotected blowjob and ended up giving him herpes. Okay ladies do you give protected bj’s or ask your guys to go get tested specifically for herpes? IA normal STD test does not test for herpes.This whole thing scares me a little.

  131. Bella says:

    My boobs are fabulously real and not to toot my own horn, but I’m intelligent to boot!

    I’m also red haired, left handed, and green eyed, making me like 0.000001% of the world population. I’m a rare breed, the government should pay me to stay alive. 😀

  132. Frank says:

    gtt-envy- 3 months for a SB relationship? I would like others to comment, but isn’t that about an average length for sugar.

  133. Frank says:

    Stacy, it was me that you called elitist. I had pointed out that some girls do not fear the consequences of getting pregnant because they know that even it their family is unable or unwilling to help them with their newborn, the government will step in. I also said that some girls get pregnant as a means to be able to set up their own household. Its not as bad now since they had welfare reform and went from the ADC program to the TAFDC, a form of cash payments to needy families.
    I stand by those statements, and do not feel they are elitist.

  134. Zoey says:

    @gtt_envy She’s either not what you’re looking for or you want an actual relationship.

    I’ve had a better SD experience with a guy that I can have an awesome conversation with vs the guy that’s good in the sack.

    >@Stacy Of course, the intelligent type of sugar girl requires quite an inve$tment because she knows how rare she is in the sugar bowl; pretty faces and plastic boobs are a dime a dozen.

    YES. 100%. You do get what you pay for. 😉 Some girls are a mix of both!

  135. Stacy, says:

    GTT – sounds like you picked a sugar who stimulates the little brain but not the big one. Next time, try to choose a sugar who can stimulate your interests during an ACTUAL conversation.

    Bored at three months usually implies you chose a girl who was too young and had too little life experience for the two of you to really click.

    Of course, the intelligent type of sugar girl requires quite an inve$tment because she knows how rare she is in the sugar bowl; pretty faces and plastic boobs are a dime a dozen.

    In my experience, people tend to leave the sugar bowl when they’re ready to really be in love.

  136. gtt_envy says:

    Anyone get bored of the sugar life? I had a great weekend with my sb….but its only been 3 months and Im sorta bored…..like now what?

    Maybe its time to move on idk why did others get out of the sugar world?

  137. flyr says:

    @dorky “The two most prominent examples in my daughter’s circle of friends are both girls with such unbelievably low self-esteem that they will sleep with any guy that will show them affection. The root cause has nothing to do with their access to birth control, which is where many liberals tend to focus their attention. The root cause is deeper than that.

    Add to that a popular culture that classifies women as bitches and ho’s available to the man with the most gold chains. Imagine the outcry if popular music, videos, movies embraced violence against corrupt politicians, attorneys and bankers instead of women.

    Lots of emphasis on the impact on girls but there’s a long of impact on boys who do not have responsible role models in their lives. Both kids are denied the mentoring of adults in working relationships and dealing with conflict .

    The SA takeaway from part of this – be very wary of dating partners who are on meds for depression.

  138. Stacy, says:

    A teenage girl having sex is just following her biology. But, I have rarely met a promiscuous teenage girl with an active, engaged father. It seems that somehow biological impulses are suppressed for a few years when dads are involved. That said, it’s wrong to only point the finger at the teenage girls when it takes two to tango. It’s unfortunate that only one person is really left to clean up the carnage of the outcome of following a natural impulse.

    Dorky – I believe it was not you I was calling elitist, it was those who were making statements about financial incentive to getting pregnant young, which other bloggers posted.

  139. DorkyGuy says:

    @Frank… You are right at looking toward the cause.

    The two most prominent examples in my daughter’s circle of friends are both girls with such unbelievably low self-esteem that they will sleep with any guy that will show them affection. The root cause has nothing to do with their access to birth control, which is where many liberals tend to focus their attention. The root cause is deeper than that.

    I think the we lose a lot that we don’t anticipate when we discard as antiquated such quaint notions as religion, morality, and traditional family structure.

  140. Frank says:

    Another explanation for teen births on decline is growing use of morning after pill.

    Of course when a teen age girl becomes pregnant she needs a support system, either from her family or the “village.” But this shouldn’t prevent you from looking for the causes and possibly prevention of these situations.

  141. Treasured says:

    Curious fact of the day:D At 7 am at the gym there are JUST men. And me! SB – take notes 😀

  142. DorkyGuy says:

    I “see” your coil, and “raise” you a chastity belt!

  143. Treasured says:

    I just loooove 6am starts after going to sleep at 2.30am.

    Please, can somebody go to the uni today for me?

    Re teenage girls and pregnancies… I’d fit every girl with a coil upon reaching 13 and she’d be allowed to take it out at the age of 18 😀 After tests on being adequate have been done 😀

    (God, please, I DO hope people HAVE sense of humour) 😀

  144. DorkyGuy says:

    @Stacy~ I agree with much of what you say. Having two teenage daughters in the public school system, I am familiar with the circumstances of a number of their friends who have gotten pregnant, most of whom are poor.

    These girls are scared out of their mind… and for good reason. They do not feel like they have “pulled one over on the taxpayers”. In almost every scenario, the baby’s father isn’t involved… and the girls don’t want to pull him in because they’re afraid that the father will be a bad influence on the kid. Many of them don’t have a family support system that they can rely on. They are terrified.

    I reject the idea that teen girls get pregnant because the government rewards them for it. These girls need our compassion and help, not our judgement.

    I don’t pretend to know why teen births are on the decline. Having seen the behavior of my daughters’ friends, I actually find that hard to believe… but numbers don’t lie. It is all tragic, no matter how you look at it.

    The only place I can think of that really ought to be blamed lies with the girls parents. Many of them don’t have healthy fathers in the home, and I wonder how much that drives their behavior. But you can’t make a law to force men to be good, involved fathers. There isn’t a government solution.

    All of that said, I stand by my statement that evolution would be doing humanity a huge favor if it were biologically impossible to procreate until a later age. I don’t think that statement is classist or elitist.

  145. Tina says:

    ….but you leave a trail behind you………

  146. DorkyGuy says:

    That’s the way the Dorkster rolls… in and out and you never know it even happened!

  147. Tina says:

    Nevermind, you apparently came back and cleaned up after yourself before I even noticed……..man oh man! 🙁

  148. Tina says:

    Dorky yells “BOOBIES” and leaves dangling bold all over the blog…..shame on you Dorkster! 😉

  149. DorkyGuy says:

    sneaks into the blog and yells… BOOBIES!!!and stealthily departs

  150. Zoey says:

    Awesome, thank you Lo and Treasured. I’m glad I’m not the only one that gets that. 😐

    I find it kinda funny that a lot of guys are “not looking for pros”, yet try to skim on allowance as much as possible. From my experience, having a SB (especially one that sees you exclusively) is way pricier than hiring a pro.

    http://thedirty.com/2013/02/i-thought-it-be-cheaper-to-keep-my-wife-than-to-divorce-her/ <– Funny read. Girls and guys like this is what make SA look bad, but hey you get what you pay for and karma's a bitch.

  151. Treasured says:

    She sent me another pic. Someone checked it for me. That pic was stolen from one of the porn websites.

  152. Frank says:

    Darn it Treasure, I had already gone to the store and bought some suntan lotion. A bottle big enough for two!
    How did you check it?

    [email protected]’m sorry to sound elitist, don’t think I am.
    Anyway, one reason birth rate has gone down is the terrible economy. Another reason is better birth control.

  153. Lo says:

    Zoey I’ve had the same experience. That amount isn’t very motivating.. I usually just move on or try to find someone else.

  154. Treasured says:

    Zoey – that is normality. 95% of the guys on SA are like that.

    Frank – It is fake. I checked it.

  155. Zoey says:

    I’m kinda starting to get disappointed with SA.

    A lot of guys I interact with are expecting sex on the first date, which to me is kind of awkward. I’ve also noticed *a lot* of guys offer 300$ allowances and expect everything for that.

    Am I the only one that’s unlucky like this?

  156. Stacy, says:

    Actually gentlemen, your very elitist assumptions are incorrect:

    Per aweb MD and a massive host if other options, our national birthrate is declining overall, especially for young mothers.

    The teenage birth rate declined in 2009 to the lowest level ever recorded in the past 70 years, the CDC says in a new report.

    Te teenage birth rate declined 8% from 2007 to 2009, reaching a historic low at 39.1 births per 1,000 youths between ages 15 and 19, the report says.

    Among the report’s key findings:

    Birth rates fell significantly for teens in all age groups — and for all racial and ethnic groups — from 2007 to 2009.

    Teen birth rates for each age group and for nearly all race and Hispanic origin groups were at the lowest levels ever reported in the U.S. in 2009.

    Birth rates for teenagers 15-17 dropped in 31 states from 2007 to 2009. And rates for older teens, those 18 to 19, declined significantly in 45 states in the same period.

    The birth rate for teens in 2009 was 37% below the 1991 rate. The 2009 rate was 59% lower than the historic high of 96.3% reached in 1957.

    Teens 15-19 gave birth to 409,840 babies in 2009, the fewest since 1946, and 36% fewer than the 644,708 born in 1970, which was the historic high point.

    Additionally – FATHERS of these babies average $800 per year in child support ( if they provide financial support at all, which is unlikely. And, homes with teenage mothers are significantly more likely to fall below the poverty line. Your assumption that this is a lucrative choice is erroneous and reeks of class bias.

  157. Frank says:

    Dork , I know eugenics was driving motivation for forced serialization of a lot of women right here in Va. It does have a bad rep.

  158. Frank says:

    Yes treasure, I’ll go with you! I’m tired of the freezing temps here in the mountains, and I’m thinking That’s a situation I’ll get really warm in.

  159. Treasured says:

    Can somebody please please please check this profile for me.


    Any views on the subject?

  160. DorkyGuy says:

    @gtt_envy~ That’s what you get for not taking her into the shower with you!

    @Frank~The reason it’s controversial has less to do with the science, and more with its implications. If it is possible to selective breed humans for intelligence, is it moral for people and/or governments to actually do it for the benefit of all mankind? Eugenics has been used as an excuse for some of the worst atrocities in our history… including slavery and the Jewish holocaust, so yeah, it’s controversial.

    @Jersey, talk about weird… Evidently there has been scientific work done on the study of humanity devolving. I had no idea. Look up the Dysgenics article on Wikipedia, which mentions your book among a couple others.

  161. Frank says:

    gtt-envy-That’s not hard, wake her up, tell her to get up and get it on, or to get up and get it gone! (unless she is sick or has some other reasonable excuse, like you allowed her to down 2 bottles of wine)

    Dork-I thought that was just a recurring bad dream I’ve been having, I think I’m due for a free flight on that saucer.

    Teen age girls have been having babies for all the right reasons from their viewpoint. It enables then to show their maturity and independence, they get financially rewarded for it, they get to set up their on household and get away from the mom’s control, and tie down their boyfriend. (Of course society’s interests might be better served if they waited until they were more mature)

    Jersey, I,m happy that I can bring back such pleasant memories, one day maybe we will be able to make some new pleasant memories!

    Jersey @marching morons, I somehow missed this one in my early days of reading science fiction-looked it up on Wikipedia and found this statement labeled as controversial:- “the idea that intelligence is inherited and that it can be promoted or retarded by selective breeding (whether intentional or not)” I had thought that since Darwin, and Burbank and Watson that this aspect of life as settled as the Flat earth concept. Guess not.

    Guess you can tell that I can’t sleep tonight

  162. gtt_envy says:

    So, you go out get back to the hotel at 1230am you take a 10 min shower your SB is passed out.

    This was our only meeting this mont!! What di you fo?

  163. Moonpatrol says:

    Dorky Guy: well said about people having babies that should not be having them due to: A. age B. lack of money C. Lack of a good reason. I would say having a baby now is one of the tra
    gedies of modern times.

  164. DorkyGuy says:

    “But, with a civilized society, those that control the resources tend to control the dynamics of said society.” ~Tina

    Judging by the top movies the last several years, I would guess that they dynamics of society are controlled by teenage girls!

    “There’s pretty good evidence that we have reversed the process of evolution through our social programs.” ~flyr

    This is a morbid topic, but it is true that death before childbearing years plays a role in natural selection… which is driven by death that occurs before childbearing years. It is true that our improvements in healthcare have almost halted evolution specifically related to wiping out childhood diseases. I think that our advances in healthcare more than compensate for this though.

    If I could pick just one evolutionary change for humanity, it might be to delay childbearing years until people are actually old enough to understand the implications. What age would that be? I propose 30.

    “Ever heard of the book ‘The Marching Morons?'” ~Jersey

    I haven’t! Thanks for the recommendation!

    “Oh no, not a conversation about evolution. Just wait til we hear about global warming and man landing on the moon.” ~Frank

    If I have just one more alien anal probe… well, then I’ll have my punchcard filled out, and I can redeem it for a free anal probe.

  165. Jersey Darling says:

    Okay Mr. Vesuvius (you know, I grew up by a great pizza place called Vesuvios… yum.)

  166. Frank says:

    Oh no, not a conversation about evolution. Just wait til we hear about global warming and man landing on the moon.

  167. Jersey Darling says:

    [quote]I have wondered if there is actually evolutionary pressure to make humanity dumber over time.[/quote]

    Funny you wrote this, I just had this conversation over dinner with my Dad. Ever heard of the book “The Marching Morons?”

  168. flyr says:

    There’s pretty good evidence that we have reversed the process of evolution through our social programs.

    Also as one of the docs noted, there’s no evolutionary process to cull the population of late in life illnesses since breeding is for the most part over before onset.

  169. Tina says:

    @Dorky: I think it’s evolutionary pressure to have us revert to a more natural, animalistic state which explains the above procreation standards you mentioned. But, with a civilized society, those that control the resources tend to control the dynamics of said society. As such, people with money *usually* tend to be intelligent with business matters, as well as indulge in cultural / artistic philanthropic efforts. This, although there are fewer of them, they have the control.

  170. DorkyGuy says:

    btw, that is not a criticism of anyone’s individual decisions. Just an observation about “macro” trends.

  171. DorkyGuy says:

    “It’s just a Darwinian screen” ~flyr

    For a while, I have wondered if there is actually evolutionary pressure to make humanity dumber over time. People with genes that give them a predisposition for self-destructive behavior, less impulse control, and poor decision making skills statistically have more children than people with the opposite characteristics. More children = more gene influence in the next generation.

  172. flyr says:

    “rapes prostitutes”

    It’s just a Darwinian screen, like the sign that says wet paint.

    If there’s only a 1:50 chance why tempt fate…………………….

  173. Stacy, says:

    Sorry! Luxuriating and fornicating at the Four Seasons, having a delightful weekend with the perfect companion!

  174. Tina says:

    @Dorky: yup, here too. I just don’t answer the door and let my big ol doggie bark away!!! (He’s a sweetie, but has a VEEEEEEERY big bark 😉 ) The ones here have a tendency to ring the doorbell then immediately knock. If they don’t have the patience to do one then give me a moment to get to the door, then I don’t have the patience to be nice. Bah!

    @JerseyDarling: I think it’s just because of Valentine’s and the weekend. I’m sure it will get rolling again on Sunday or Monday (if there’s not another blog post before then) 😀

  175. Jersey Darling says:

    This blog post has veritably died, huh?

  176. DorkyGuy says:

    Been there, done that, got the Watchtower magazine

  177. Tina says:

    @Dorky: careful, that might make them call for backup………..

  178. DorkyGuy says:

    If I see Jehovah’s Witnesses walking up to the house, is it wrong to put on porn and turn it up real loud?

  179. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Good Morning All. I hope eveyone enjoyed Valentine’s in their own way.

    Nice to see you Midwest.

    Now who is ready for the weekend? Any exciting plans? 🙂

  180. IloveWestCoastGirl says:

    someone asked if it was an R rated fly

    Another question re SA . I frequently let my full paid membership lapse as I am happy where I am and hopelessly distracted with the blog. When that happens I get a surge in emails as if there is a gang of bots unleashed or some SB’s earning points sending emails from the 4 corners of the planet. Anybody else see the same thing?

    2 guys told me the same thing!
    As soon as their membership expired and they do not pay for the next month – they start getting tons of in box mails !
    but they can not read them.

  181. Bella says:

    Seeing SD tomorrow! And next weekend we’re going to see a classical concert, should be lovely. I think I’ve officially found my first SD! 😀

  182. Jersey Darling says:

    Back to reality… @im_only_me

    “Rapes prostitutes”

    Oookay, let’s examine this. Most guys don’t have random things written about them online along the lines of “rapes prostitutes.” And considering that many guys on SA either view SBs as escorts or frequent escorts themselves, I’m pretty sure that comment was written about the guy you’re talking to, not whatever rationalization your pheromones are trying to come up with.

    Hell, even the Craigslist Killer was cute.

    So let’s just have a moment of silence and analyze this information. What do YOU think you should do?

  183. Jersey Darling says:

    Whew… what a Valentine’s that was! All I can say is wow. I’m pretty sure I’m the luckiest girl in the world.

    I hope you all had a wonderful day and if you didn’t find love with someone else, found it within yourself.

  184. Midwest SB says:

    Gents – I received what appears to be a lovely phone call from a CA number. However, the message was unclear and I lost some numbers when I changed phones. Will the sweet party please call again this weekend if possible? Thanks!

    Happy Weekend sugars!

  185. Tina says:

    WHOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!! Hockey game tonight!!!! 😉

  186. DorkyGuy says:

    Im_only_me, it is nice that you want to give the guy the benefit of the doubt.

    Please keep in mind that where your personal safety is concerned, you have no obligation to be fair. People who are capable of violence often can be very earnest, convincing liars when asked to explain their actions.

    It is ok to run when you see smoke. You don’t have an obligation to look for the fire.

  187. Frank says:

    Only me, is he recently an ex, sounds like something a bitter ex-wife would do.

  188. im_only_me says:

    @Stacy You know.. I think I might just do that! It would be really interesting to see his reaction. Like I said before.. I was totally comfortable around him (I usually get creeped out easily) so I’m hoping that its just something dumb. “Rapes prostitutes” was the exact comment.. so it seems pretty fishy to me. Had I been raped I wouldn’t refer to myself as a prostitute.. If it were regarding a friend.. I wouldn’t make a small comment online.. I’d hunt him down.

  189. goldfish says:

    @cheeseburgers I would be wary, but perhaps the number belonged to a different guy before he had it? But personally, I would walk away. Even the chance that he could violate me would worry me too much to be comfortable with him.
    Or you could just confront him with your search findings. But that may lead to nothing.

    In other news, SD finally sent the money. So I’m glad he’s not a flake, but his level of punctuality may be a bit lower than I like. And I really like the sex with him, so hopefully, he won’t be away too long.

  190. JustATequilaSD says:

    @Treasured and @Dorky
    It sounded like your definition of the near perfect guy, so I was applying it to Taylor’s situation. Her guy sounds dreamy. Cheap or expensive Tequila makes me see into other dimensions. I am on some 5th dimension shit.

  191. flyR says:

    @theresa “”Anyway, I met up with this guy at a bar and instead of going to the bar he drove me to the park, well me not being an idiot, suggested that we sit on a bench by the outskirts of the park. It was 8:00 at night and dark, and I had just met the guy. So we talked and I liked him. But, then he ruined it by talking about “friends with benefits” and crap like that. I mean, seriously he wanted to take me to a park and have his way with me, and we had just met?”””

    I am a little confused – you ment him at the bar or in the park………… Doesn’t he realize that parks are dangerous…….??????

  192. DorkyGuy says:

    He may have been on the cheap Tequila tonight. When he is on the expensive stuff, his mind is a marvel to behold. Kinda like Rainman if the entire universe were toothpicks.

  193. Treasured says:

    Tequila, I think you mixed up comments. See what hard partying does to your already unstable constitution. Hehehe

    That comment was mine in response to the Dorky’s comment that ” it would be a bummer” to be SD who doesn’t lie”

  194. JustATequilaSD says:

    @Taylor Made
    “Perhaps proving to the girl you really like, that not all men are bastards, might be worth something much more valuable than all the sugar in the world”

    So far, this guy has done that, based on your comments. Perhaps you are bored with “near-perfect”, and are eager to chase “maybe’s” like so many other SB’s are forced to do. But like I always say, at the end of the day, the final choice is yours.

    Another problem I foresee is time management. I don’t know if he’s exclusive to you, but if he’s treating you exceptionally well then roll with that. If you do decide to add SD#2, just make sure you have time to devote to both, or you may lose them both.

    If you kept pot SD#2 at a distance for now, would that give you an upper hand with “proven exclusivity” later after you and SD#1 part ways?

  195. Stacy, says:

    Imonlyme – ask him about what you found! The way he responds to the question will be hugely informative.

  196. twiceshy says:

    Here is a great article for those who may have to travel. It’s on Lifehacker and titled how can I stay safe when travelling alone.


  197. Im_only_me says:

    Weird.. it changed my name on here..

    .. yeah I’m definitely going to keep my eyes open the next time I see him. I think it would be unfair of me to rule him out only because of what someone wrote.. it could have been some girl that he turned down.. it could be a joke.. or it could be that he rapes prostitutes.

  198. Bella says:

    @cheeseburgers (imonlyme?), I’d run far away of I were you, but that’s because I’m not willing to take any kind of risk like that. My personal safety is more important than any gorgeous man and his money.

  199. Theresa says:

    Hi everyone,
    It’s been a while since I’ve been on the blog. I don’t think we are “selling our souls.” Frankly, I’m starting to think that the sugar world is the most honest way of doing things. A couple of weeks ago I went on a meet and greet with this guy that my sister didn’t want to go out with. This wasn’t a guy that we met on line or anything, he was just a guy she met at the store. Anyway, I met up with this guy at a bar and instead of going to the bar he drove me to the park, well me not being an idiot, suggested that we sit on a bench by the outskirts of the park. It was 8:00 at night and dark, and I had just met the guy. So we talked and I liked him. But, then he ruined it by talking about “friends with benefits” and crap like that. I mean, seriously he wanted to take me to a park and have his way with me, and we had just met? I am way to old and way to classy to fall for that mess. He didn’t even take me to dinner. Who the heck does he take me for? Anyway, I had him take me home and of course he didn’t call me back. If that is what you have to go through to date right now, I’d much rather do sugar. It’s just more honest, and my 70 year old mother and my 23 year old daughter agrees (oh my daughter doesn’t live this lifestyle, she’s looking for a husband).

  200. cheeseburgers says:

    OK so I have a question.. I went out with a man last night.. (he was gorgeous.. just..gorgeous) He was touchy in public which I was OK with.. since there was a mutual attraction. The date went fairly well.. He didn’t try to sleep with me? (although we fooled around some). Now.. usually I Google people by email, name, phone number.. whatever info I have.. to be a little more safe and whatnot. Anyway.. I didn’t Google this guys phone number until this morning and on a site his phone number was listed and the comment was that he rapes prostitutes. Wtf right? Like I said..he was fine with me (although I could have easily taken him if needed..lol) Should I be concerned? Or just chalk it up to online stupidity?

  201. Jersey Darling says:

    Me personally:

    If an SD doesn’t ask, I don’t volunteer whether I’m with anyone else. Even if I’m not with anyone, I don’t volunteer it.

    If he does ask, full disclosure always.

  202. Treasured says:

    Dorky, you would be surprised.

    Perhaps proving to the girl you really like, that not all men are bastards, might be worth something much more valuable than all the sugar in the world 🙂

  203. DorkyGuy says:

    It would be a real bummer to be the SD who doesn’t lie.

  204. Treasured says:

    PS: Unless more is offered for the monogamy 😀 As suggested by you 😛

  205. Treasured says:

    Lie about the monogamy 😀

    SD lie all the time 😀

  206. DorkyGuy says:

    @Frank~ I agree, if there has been no discussion of monogamy, then it is assumed that each person has other partners, and there is no reason to say anything. Whether such a conversation has ever happened is the missing piece of the puzzle that will clear everything up, I think.

  207. Frank says:

    I agree if you are using protection, no need to tell first SD, unless you have led him to believe otherwise, then you should tell him.

  208. DorkyGuy says:

    So, assuming everyone is wearing protection… Your advice to Taylor is to lie about monogamy, or not lie about monogamy? I am confused.

  209. Treasured says:

    @Dorky – I do not f*ck around with no protection. Extra or no extra.
    I know I can be trusted. Sorry, but 90% of SDs can’t.
    It is not just about my health. It is my career. Surgeon can’t operate with Hepatitis C or HIV.

    BUT, if there was that ONE SD, who would wear a chastity belt all the time while WE are apart – yes, why not? 🙂 “Extra” bit would have to be pretty tempting though 🙂 And no, I wouldn’t lie.

  210. DorkyGuy says:

    So Treasured, if a potential SD says that he is willing to pay extra for a monogamous relationship because he is concerned about his health, do you just lie to him and pocket the money?

  211. Treasured says:

    PS: Obviously you have to be careful protection wise.

  212. Treasured says:

    @ Taylor…. In my opinion SD 1 doesn’t need to know anything. And so does SD 2… Keep them separate 😀 And enjoy both of them 😀

    Yes, yes, dear SDs. Kill me now 😀

  213. Tina says:

    @Taylor: I agree with Dorky in that your SD needs to know whether you’re monogamous or not. If you didn’t negotiate monogamy, then you need to tactfully bring up that you have another partner out there. He doesn’t need (or probably want) to know the details of the arrangement, but he does need to know if you’re not sexually monogamous with him (regardless if it’s an arrangement, boyfriend, etc.). Just as you have the right to know if he’s sexually monogamous with you or not.

  214. DorkyGuy says:

    Taylor, the primary question is whether you negotiated monogamy with SD #1. If so, then you need to talk to him if you wish to modify your agreement to be non-monogamous.

    This is doubly true if you negotiated monogamy because you are are engaging in unprotected sex. Seeing another man without telling him increases his health risk, and he has a right to know that.

  215. Frank says:

    Dork, the expression translated for a SD is that one pussy is worth two bushes in a bush.

  216. DorkyGuy says:

    A bird in her hand is worth two in her bush?

    If “bird” means what I think it does, then I am really confused.

  217. Stacy, says:

    I also agree with Frank, until SD #2 actually becomes an SD you don’t actually have a situation. “Complications” could come up again.

  218. Stacy, says:

    @TaylorMade – is your current SD 100% monogamous (meaning NOT married)? Do you eventually want a relationship with him outside of sugar? If the answer to either is no you are completely free to see anyone you’d like – and you are under no obligation to tell either SD, unless they ask.

  219. Frank says:

    A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush!

  220. Taylor Made SB says:

    Hello fellow bloggers!

    Ive been eyeing the storm from a distance, figured i’d steer clear 🙂
    Anywhoo, I’ve got a bit of a predicament that I’d appreciate some quality advice on. I have been seeing an SD for almost 2 months, everything is perfect. He is sweet, reliable, respectful, just a doll. Recently a potential from the past has been in contact, this individual was my dream SD, perfect in every way, needless to say we weren’t able to begin anything substantial due to minimal complications in which i respected. In recent conversation he has suggested that we begin seeing eachother, which I would love. My question is what about the other SD? He’s been nothing but perfect, making my every wish his priority to come true. hmmmmm

  221. Bella says:

    @ Everyone, we talked on the phone and got the allowance discussion out of the way! That’s a relief haha. Looks like everything is legit and we’re off to the start of hopefully exciting arrangemenship ( arrangement seems too clinical and relationship too wishy-washy so a portmanteau seems appropriate lol).

  222. Bella says:

    Thanks Stacy, hopefully I’ll get a chance to talk to him tonight when he’s done work. I’m just nervous about conversations involving money haha. I doubt he’ll have any problem with the convo but I’m just awkward lol.

  223. Frank says:

    Bella, Stacy has given you sound advice.

  224. You actually produced some superb tips inside ur post, “5 Simple Ways to Spice Up
    Your Sugar on Valentine

  225. Stacy, says:

    Imonlyme – my expression for you: When you get to the end zone, act like you’ve been there before.

    Lol, Sugars don’t swoon over anything, except maybe a Chanel handbag.

  226. im_only_me says:

    @Stacy You have a way with words.. I might need to conjure you up the next time I’m like.. “You opened the door for me?!!?!?” /swoon hahahahaha

  227. Stacy, says:

    I would approach it with him just like that. If he really is SD material, he’ll understand. Try something like:

    I hear a lot of girls on this site get taken advantage of, and it makes me nervous. I want to have a super hot time on Friday night. Do you think we could discuss the arrangement in advance, without your old SB there, so Friday can be all about sexy fun and I won’t feel nervous?

  228. Stacy, says:


    This sounds like a recipe for disappointment. You asked him if he would like to have an arrangement with you, And he didn’t really give you an answer, Yet he’s expecting you to have a threesome with him? My dear you’re going to get screwed – And not only in the pleasant way. Money in hand before panties hit the floor!!

  229. Bella says:

    @ imonlyme, ahahaha 😆

  230. im_only_me says:

    “The seat in your car is warming my bum?!?!” /swoon

    .. definitely the best way to impress me. hahahahah

  231. im_only_me says:

    hmm.. I just really like meeting men who aren’t bums and want to take me to restaurants that I couldn’t afford. After reading all of this I realize I am a cheap date. HAHAH!

    “Really?! a shot of Patron?! For ME?!” /swoon
    “I can order anything from the menu?!” /swoon
    “Woah.. Valet parking!?” /swoon

  232. Frank says:

    Panties, hands, tongues, hair, and after awhile, body fluids. And if the moon was right, some ashes from the Mount!

  233. babydoll says:

    oopss happy valentines to everyone i hope you all will still and find a lot more Sugar this year !!!!!

  234. babydoll says:

    Sdin LA- haha do you mean you only get a steak and a bj every 20th of March?!!
    is that for real???
    with all the things you give your sb i think its unreasonable to get it once a year!! blooming heck what do you have? a wife?!

  235. NC Gent says:

    Hi all — just a quick note on the allowance discussion…. the hot women in major metropolitan areas that list their allowance requirement as less than $1000 a month are almost always escorts, and the “allowance” is more like less than $1000 per hour 🙂

  236. Treasured says:

    And. For those who are curious – he is still around! No drama, no bs, great sex, some IQ, tolerating a lot and being antidote to stress – THAT what keeps even the most impossible man 🙂

  237. Treasured says:

    Frank – we are dying to hear your scenario 😛

    Jersey – Yup. In the beginning it was hard to accept it (and he was the first SD from this website I had), but now I actually do appreciate him not giving me the bs that “I am the only one”. I prefer honesty to monogamy 😀 Actually! It even goes as far as sometimes I choose which girl should be there. And, even order plane tickets…

  238. Jersey Darling says:


    ending with what he did on the evening when he met another girl.


    Yes, a little mystery is better. I care not to hear such details!

    In sugar, I can be open to a guy being with multiple people. That’s cool, I get it. Just don’t tell me about it unless I ask :mrgreen:

  239. Jersey Darling says:

    Panties? Should panties be flying Frank?

  240. Frank says:

    2 SBs and 6000 in cash for the week end. Fur is not what I’m thinking would be flying!

  241. Treasured says:

    @Dorky – it was in a mid conversation of “what did you do yesterday”. And, he tells me all kind of things, starting from business deals, ending with what he did on the evening when he met another girl. So, it wasn’t exactly “flaunting” as such. But I certainly would prefer him NOT to tell me everything 😉

  242. DorkyGuy says:

    Wait… so if you were informed about it the next day, he wasn’t really flaunting anything in front of you was he?

    I think it’s spreading. Just today my favorite waitress wanted $25 for a cup of coffee because she heard that I recently bought a car.

  243. Treasured says:

    @Guru – I challenged him 😛 He had no choice 😀

    @All. It was more than 120K$ 😉 I wasn’t there – so his own fault that he didn’t take me and lost his good luck. I was just informed about it the next day (and yes, I do believe so.)

    Re different standards for different SBs. Same person, for example, would never dream of putting me to anything less than a 5* hotel. And, I am being picked up from the airport either by the driver or take a taxi.
    Other girls, at the same time, go by train and stay wherever he chooses them to. They don’t know any different… Well, now they unfortunately do, because he enjoys pointing out that I am super special to him.

  244. JustATequilaSD says:

    “corny jokes”
    I learned a new one last week. What to you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

    ” I’ll call him DC”
    Omg, was it you that gave Dick Cheney those heart problems?????

    ” it’s certainly a deal breaker if you offer less than $1000 when you make more than enough money to offer more.”
    So it’s not a dealbreaker if that’s all he can afford? Look at the income as a point of reference in the allowance offered being believable. Not the other way around.

  245. JustATequilaSD says:


    @Dorky and @Stacy
    “Now there’s an idea Dorky! Get two SBs for the weekend and tell them you have a $1k envelope and a $5k envelope and the SB that makes you happiest will get the bigger payout. Then watch the fur fly!”
    Since I like to be fair. Once they finished doing their best to please me. If I was happy they’d both get $5k envelopes. If I was annoyed at their constant bickering but sexually satisfied they’d both get $1k. And I’d tell them try harder next time. Yes, absolutely hideous I know. 🙂

  246. JustATequilaSD says:

    @Stacy and @All SB’s
    “selling our soul”
    ” I don’t think you understand how difficult it is to entertain this type of guy”

    Everyone has to follow their own path. Unless another person has you in an actual life or death situation, thereby forcing you to sell your soul, I cannot invest as much sympathy for making a lifestyle choice. Negotiate the contract before going in, or get out, or re-negotiate, but don’t be upset if the deal breaks.

    The cold hard truth is in most cases, sex/companionship alone almost invariably cannot demand 10/k a month indefinitely for the same guy without leaning into the relationship zone. In economics it’s called “decreasing marginal utility.” Relationship strings will pull you further out of that transactional area of business that ends one day over the wrong color of nail polish.

    “I feel adored when I’m around him.”
    You are willing to have strings attached if requested. Congrats, he sounds dreamy.

  247. JustATequilaSD says:

    @Treasured @Stacy @Dorky
    In the casino, depending on certain factors, he has up to a rough 48% chance that he will double those 6 figures.

    In sugarland, if he gave you 6 figures for shopping, there is a 98% chance that he will never see that money again.

    Sorry ladies, business is business. If he got a huge chunk of money, and you had the re-investment vehicle, you may be on to something. Of course, expect him to treat that investment like serious business. And possibly expect him to lose his sb if it’s a good idea. The SB Flake Fear Factor is always lurking.

  248. SD Guru says:

    “this type of guy is sloppy, selfish, and sometimes even a bit mean in bed, the $ugar makes it tolerable”

    Sugar is supposed to be enjoyable, not just tolerable. If you choose to deal with that type of SD because of money, then it’s a decision you live with.

    @London Girl
    “I’m not sure how income vs allowance is supposed to compute?”

    As I described in my blog, the correlation is that if the SB is looking for a certain level of allowance then she should look for SD’s with a certain level of income who can afford the allowance. However, the reverse is not true. Just because the SD has a certain level of income does not automatically mean he’s willing to provide a certain level of allowance.

    “No “sugar”, just friends sharing some special moments.”

    You flew Treasured half way around the globe for a platonic date? Really?? 😯

    “This SD is in an open marriage so it’s okay for him to date other women…”

    Let’s see… he has a wife, a SB turned gf, and he’s looking for more? Where will he stop?? I see a 4some in your future… :mrgreen:

  249. Bella says:

    @Stacy, I don’t think he’s a guy who is going to poof but you’re right and I’ve been thinking about it. I’m not sure how to address it, I was hoping it would happen in person but there won’t be a chance before I meet the other woman. The only other way we communicate is through text and that just doesn’t seem like a good media to discuss this through. Should I anyway?

  250. DorkyGuy says:

    @SDinLA… truth be told, the closest thing that I can get to a clean shave is after an uncontrolled burn, usually started from a camp fire. It was out of concern for my personal safety that I created Smokey the Bear.

    @Blog Babes~ Here is a special Valentines Wish, just for you!


  251. Stacy, says:

    @Bella, careful about a kinky night before you have an arrangement, if you’re looking for gift$ a threesome night is a bad chance to negotiate that, and he may very well poof after.

  252. SDinLA says:

    “Careful ladies… 11,704 people went to the emergency room last year after having an accident shaving their genitals.”

    @DorkyGuy Actually, there were only 3 people who went to the ER for that reason last year. They just told you 11,704 so you wouldn’t feel like an idiot when you were brought in for that reason. Then again most people don’t have to worry about denuding a Mt. Rushmore-sized area of skin. 😉

    Re: proportionality of allowances and wealth/income/assets, dang it, I missed out. You mean I could have gone to my SB at the time my divorce settlement was finalized and told her that due to my Ex taking half my assets, her allowance was going to be halved?

  253. Bella says:

    @ Jersey, looks can be deceiving. Good girls go to heaven but bad girls go everywhere, and sometimes it takes the looks of a good girl to get the bad girl where she wants to be. 😉

  254. DorkyGuy says:

    Careful ladies… 11,704 people went to the emergency room last year after having an accident shaving their genitals.

  255. Bella says:

    @ Dorky, thanks! I just spoke to the SD and he said his other SB is looking forward to meeting me so that’s a good sign. 🙂

    And I asked him how he felt about me and whether he thinks and arrangement might work and he said that he got a good vibe from me and enjoyed our time together and would like for it to continue! 😀

  256. Tim says:

    I don’t understand how women want to get money selling her body…they think that is good…no! that’s called……”PROSTITUTION” money in exchange for body, nothing is for free in this life!!!……after shopping and having luxury diner you go to the house, get naked and open your legs to pay back those bills…NASTY!!!!!!!

  257. Jersey Darling says:

    Stacy, it’s puffin 532 at gmail. Thank you 🙂

  258. Jersey Darling says:

    @flyr: “It’s no wonder the world economy is faltering, everyone is hanging out here instead of working………………………….”

    What? Today was my day off. :mrgreen:

  259. Stacy, says:

    I switch Jersey, I like D and s. But, I tend to prefer sweet, subby kind of men for sugar relationships – they don’t pull any stupid shit like some of the cocky “I’m God of the world” types, and they give the best gifts and are amazing with their oral attentions.

    You’re Puffin 532 right? At google or yahoo?

    And, Tequila (where are you)? – the book made it to quarter finals of the Amazon Breakthrough Novel competition, cross your fingers for me on the next round.

  260. DorkyGuy says:

    I’m working… you guys are keeping me entertained as I do so, which is directly enhancing the world economy (or at least my little part of it)

  261. flyR says:

    It’s no wonder the world economy is faltering, everyone is hanging out here instead of working………………………….

  262. Jersey Darling says:

    You Domme Stacy? Interesting. We should chat about that off blog sometime, if you’re willing to share your secrets of course.

    Bella, that’s quite a situation you have there. And you looked so innocent in your pictures! If I were his original SB, I’d be jealous that the money is going toward you now. But that’s just me.

  263. Stacy, says:

    @Jersey – of course the domme route is more rewarding – that’s why I get to have such high expectation$! Lol

  264. DorkyGuy says:

    Good luck, I hope it goes well!

  265. Bella says:

    @Dorky, they actually went from a 4 year sugar relationship to recently going to something slightly more traditional where there’s no exchange of money for time. This SD is in an open marriage so it’s okay for him to date other women and I guess the two of them got along well enough that they continued to see reach other even after sugar was taken out of the mix. But he still wants to help another young woman with schooling so that’s where I come in. Apparently she’s looking forward to meeting me so hopefully things will run smoothly!

  266. DorkyGuy says:

    @Bella… I’m curious about this SB-SD-SB 3-way… This is his *former* SB? And she’s comfortable hanging out with you and him, on your second date?

    Their relationship must have ended on unusually good terms! Which of them did the breaking up?

  267. Bella says:

    @twiceshy, I’m aware that it doesn’t correlate but it’s certainly a deal breaker if you offer less than $1000 when you make more than enough money to offer more.

    Actually, no matter the income, less than $1000 is a deal breaker for me lol. I was just pointing out something I’ve noticed on SD profiles.

    Anyway, can’t wait for this weekend! Second date with pot SD and we’re going out with his former SB to a ‘dyke night’ at a club after dinner at an Italian restaurant. Then after they’re well be many sexy times abound hehe. 😀

  268. twiceshy says:

    Hey gang. Decided to pop in for a bit.
    Carnival in the islands was great 🙂
    Shared most of the parties with @treasured, it was a fantastic time.
    No “sugar”, just friends sharing some special moments.
    Buuuut…it’s over now. le sigh.

    @Bella what someone makes doesn’t correlate to what they are willing to offer in an arrangement. A billionaire is probably not going to give a 50K allowance, there isn’t some sort of ratio at work.

    If someone’s fortunes improve, are you somehow going to do more, or look better, or have better sex?

    Either way as long as you get what you arranged, if that’s the type of relationship you have, that’s all you’re owed. You aren’t married, or dating, or a GF are you?

    If someone wants to blow 200k in a Casino that’s their business. What if he bought a 150k car, should your arrangement increase because he could afford to spend 150K on a car?

    On another note I think I’ll hop into the private jet and visit Eastern Europe for Valentines. That alone would spice things up ;-D

  269. Jersey Darling says:

    *go, not to.

  270. Jersey Darling says:

    Ah, If I wanted to train someone, I’d just to the Domme route. There’s much more money to be had in that!

  271. Stacy, says:

    And Jersey – I would never tolerate a low genero$ity SD – I’m speaking in abstracts and based on learning over time.

  272. Stacy, says:

    Walking away is much less interesting though Jersey, than training a bad SD.

    And, to WCSD – I do believe that I improve any SDs life (long term) with a value much greater than my cost – because a quality SB is far more than just a golden pussy.

  273. Jersey Darling says:

    In fact, I was with a guy – I’ve mentioned him on here before – who was older, very handsome and a gentleman. I’ll call him DC (some who chat with me off blog know what those initials stand for). We’d turn heads wherever we went in his fancy cars and with our age difference. He’d stand when I joined the table, open doors for me, wouldn’t think of letting me put on my own jacket.

    But sexually we weren’t particularly compatible and the allowance he offered (besides the dining) was quite small, more like a token really. And it bothered me every time people would look at us and I could see their assumptions, but I knew that financially he wasn’t really helping me at all.

    It did bother me that he’d have all this money for his cars and much less for me. But feeling that way, I just ended it. Never felt entitled. So I can relate to the feeling of wanting more, even with someone who otherwise treated me quite well. But I also say that if you feel that way you should walk away.

  274. Frank says:

    3 second rule for std’s. haha Might be better if it was a 3 minute rule.

    I think the rich guy should give more to his SB, after all to each according to her needs, from each according to his ability.

    Of course then all you pretty SB’s would have to go out and date ugly men to finish off the scenario.

  275. DorkyGuy says:

    So the answer is easy.

    Next time a guy wants to do a casino weekend with you, tell him you’ll do it for $2k + a percentage of his winnings. Just don’t be surprised if he counters by suggesting that your rate should be $2k less a percentage of his losses if he loses.

    This guy did *lose* the $120k, right? It’s not as if she brought him good luck.

  276. Jersey Darling says:

    Stacy – I would just turn that SD down. Yes, I could see how being with a guy like that would eat at you – that’s why I wouldn’t be with him.

  277. Stacy, says:

    It’s like going to an All You Can Eat buffet in Somalia. It’s just gauche!

  278. Stacy, says:

    That’s just the point Jersey – some SDs want you to jump, sit, beg, and roll over in an instant for $2K a month, and 10+ days together.

    If he expects all this of you, then shows how little that amount means to him you’re going to feel cheated and start wanting more because he’s rubbing the class and status differential in your face.

  279. Jersey Darling says:

    Treasured made the point above: “[W]ell, it would be like me having more time, yet choosing NOT to spend it with him… So, yes, I WOULD be offended.”

    If I had more time I probably wouldn’t choose to spent it with him unless he was giving me incentive to do so. Why? Because I have hobbies I love and I’d like to spend time doing them.

    More time =’s happier Jersey :mrgreen:

  280. Jersey Darling says:


    Quite the convo.

    I’ve mentioned before that often the SDs that make less money are actually more generous.

    Frankly, to me it all comes down to the treatment anyway. If he treats me well, it’s not exactly much work to “act” excited to see him, etc, because I am excited! And if I have an intelligent man who’s treating me well and taking care of my needs, then I consider any allowance a bonus. Typically when you’re being wined and dined, it kind of puts you in the mood by default…

    Of course you all may be referencing the men that you wouldn’t necessarily be attracted to without the financial component. The ones that you’ve said acted selfish, like brats. I do get the point that when he gets more money you want more of it. But seriously, it’s his money, not yours. Get your own!

    If he decides to share that’s wonderful, but he doesn’t owe you any of it. Unless he’s waving it in your face – that’s just mean.

  281. Stacy, says:

    @Dorky – but she won’t look like me, or have a proper grasp of grammar and punctuation. Lol

  282. DorkyGuy says:

    @Stacy~ The scary part is that he’ll probably find someone

  283. Stacy, says:

    @ I’m with you, under $1000 per month feels like what they should really be looking for is a hooker on Eros, not a sugar baby -at that point fellas, leave the answer as “negotiable.”

    Of course, I had a message asking if I wanted to clean a guy’s house, polish his “extra” nob, and drive around in his used Oldsmobile, so clearly my definition of Sugar Daddy is a little more demanding than some.

  284. Bella says:

    I get that what the SD makes shouldn’t be relevant to what his offered allowance is, but I won’t lie, when I see profiles where the SD is making $300 000+ a year but is offering less than $1000 a month, all I can think of is that he must be a cheap asshole who sees himself as doing women a favour by even considering to be their SD. I know that’s not fair, but that’s just how I see it.

    SBs, do you ever look through other SB profiles and shake your head at what some of the women want as an allowance? Whether it’s because they think they’re worth 10G or more or less than a thousand? Like I see some who think they’re hot shit but their profile sucks and they live in some small town where high rollers aren’t likely to be while I see others who are gorgeous women in big cities with good profiles that are expecting less than a thousand and I think to myself that they’re really selling themselves short.

    Or maybe I’m just a judgemental bitch lol. 😆

  285. Stacy, says:

    Now there’s an idea Dorky! Get two SBs for the weekend and tell them you have a $1k envelope and a $5k envelope and the SB that makes you happiest will get the bigger payout. Then watch the fur fly!

    I think some of the SDs on this blog don’t quite understand how hideously some SDs behave, so I always feel the need to point out what bad behavior SDs can exhibit if you don’t keep their little head, and their wallet, in check. Lol

  286. London Girl says:

    I’m not sure how income vs allowance is supposed to compute? Expecting someone to pay more for something simply because they are able to makes no sense whatsoever. It’s the equivalent of a restaurant deciding to charge someone more for their bill just because they can afford it?

    Personally speaking, if someone is a complete dick then I’d just walk away, no amount of money is worth dealing with someone like that.

  287. DorkyGuy says:

    @Stacy~ I can see your point that the behavior of the SD could make a big difference. And there are scenarios where the amount could be insulting. For example, if he had 2 SBs for the weekend, and gave one $4k and the other $1k, he’s clearly sending a couple of messages.

  288. Stacy, says:

    Dorky – I suppose it depends on how the SD behaves and treats me. I’ve had some SDs who view their sugar girls as a commodity, bought and paid for – and if that’s the case, watching him throw money away in front of my eyes, then hand me what he has shown is an inconsequential nothing is an insult. Especially considering how hard I have to work for it! I don’t think you understand how difficult it is to entertain this type of guy – selfish is selfish, and this type of guy is sloppy, selfish, and sometimes even a bit mean in bed, the $ugar makes it tolerable, and I want the sugar to be as painful for him as the bad sex is for me, lol.

    That said, my current SD is sweet and generous and would marry me tomorrow if I said yes. I don’t get offended by how he uses his affluence because I feel adored when I’m around him.

  289. Lo says:


  290. WCSD says:

    @Dorky – Couldn’t agree more! Someone being insulted at any generousity makes it really simple to never be generous with them again.

  291. WCSD says:

    @Stacey – The other thing that doesn’t compute in your logic with him losing $120K at the casino, is that it is also a possibility that he could have won $120K at the casino instead. Yet changing your allowance from $2k to $4k isn’t going to change anything…

  292. DorkyGuy says:

    I don’t view what you do as selling your soul…

    One of the things that annoys me beyond all measure is when people (friends, family, whoever) feel entitled to what I had to work hard to earn. I love to be generous, and to do good things for the people I care about. I love it when they are appreciative. But if they get insulted that I didn’t do enough for them, then screw ’em. They don’t get another dime from me.

  293. Stacy, says:

    I’m not quite sure Dorky – but seeing as so many of you SDs view what we do as “selling our soul” I believe my soul should be worth more than garbage.

  294. DorkyGuy says:

    So he should give you six figures? If a guy loses $120k at the casino, what amount of his money does he need to give you so that you won’t feel insulted?

  295. Stacy, says:

    @Treasured – having an SD lose six figures at a casino then give me 2K the next day would be an insult! How could it not? He’s valuing me less than money he throws away.

    And, be real WCSD – the relatively small amount of his income an SD shares with his sugar is his play money. It’s not earmarked for investment and charitable foundations – if he didn’t spend it on me it would go toward liquor, boats, or other forms of entertainment.

  296. WCSD says:

    @ Lo – They are lying….

  297. Lo says:

    I’ve seen several guys mention in their profiles that they’re looking for only one sb, not sure if they’re lying or not

  298. DorkyGuy says:

    Re: high allowances

    1) The only people I am willing to pay $10k/month to are generating more money for me than they cost. If a SB can figure out how to make her services more profitable for me, then she can certainly justify a higher allowance. This is complete conjecture, but I bet many of the SBs who command high dollars also function as indispensable personal assistants.

    2) If i have a windfall, I am more likely to re-invest it than raise your allowance. Sorry!

    3) If a SD has a windfall, and feels the urge to give it away, why not just get a second SB?

    Regarding complete honesty…. It works. For example, I tell girls that I might have STDs, but they won’t catch it because the 3 second rule that you use for dropping food applies.

  299. WCSD says:

    I’m sure many would say I must be reason 2….

  300. Treasured says:

    WCSD – I will cover my pussy in the edible 24 carat gold for you 😀
    Will THAT do? 😀


    You just can’t get me that excited 😀
    I already started to think 1) Was your SB a supermodel? 2)Are you a complete asshole? 3)Or a mixture of both? 😀 hehehe
    Because allowances like that require usually at least one of the components. 😀

  301. WCSD says:

    @Treasured – I definitely have never done a $10K allowance…nor could see that happening…but I’ve also never had a SB that was at my beck and call, and actually had a golden pussy to go along with her golden pussy syndrome…so you never know…

  302. Treasured says:

    @Frank – that is another thing. Less person knows better sleep she has.
    For example, I definitely didn’t need to know my SD at a time was able to loose in a casino 6 figure digit in one night and not to be too upset about it.
    Especially, since I was denied a light shopping a day before 😀

  303. Frank says:

    I’m not sure about the escalating sugar either. Besides, as a practical matter, I don’t think I would tell my SB about my good fortune unless I was willing to share some of it with her.

  304. SD Guru says:

    “the NYC guy I met live, he looks like his pictures, tall , good shape, skinny , intelligent … Exactly what details you need ?”

    So what happened during the meeting and how did you leave things with him? I guess there was no second meeting. Why not?

    “Gras 2013 is over. Highlights:”

    Let’s see some pics or it didn’t happen! :mrgreen:

    “SDs, do you really fear that you could lose your SB at any moment?”

    It’s not a fear, it’s a reality. Some SB’s live an unstable and dysfunctional lifestyle, and for some SB’s shit simply happens in their life despite their best intentions. It’s not always about whether she was treated well.

  305. Treasured says:

    WCSD – completely get your point. There is a price level for everything.
    If it is strictly SD/SB arrangement, with a certain allowance agreed upon and SB’s circumstances or an agreement doesn’t change – increase in allowance is entirely up to a SD. ‘
    Glad you mentioned gifts though. I think any woman would be slightly hurt if she knew her lover could be more generous with showing his affections, yet chooses not to.

    TO ALL THE GIRLS in DOUBT! THERE ARE 10K allowances!!!! WCSD is providing one!! LOOOOL 😀

  306. WCSD says:

    @Treasured – I understand your points, and the relationship part is HUGE. I guess I look at it (at least in a sugar world) there is an upper limit on what I believe a SB ‘needs’ from me. Even if I can afford more, I don’t think I’d go vastly past it. Now more trips, thoughtful gifts, etc. that is completely different, but let’s say as an example my SB was getting $10k a month, do I ever think she should get $20k a month, even if I could afford it? I guess I don’t relate the fact that I can afford to increase an allowance but don’t, with indifference. Obviously if my SB did (or anyone I was in a relationship with did) then that could potentially be the end of the relationship. I can also see in this line of conversation I have a limit for this type of relationship, where if it was girlfriend/serious/wife-potential then it wouldn’t matter, but then again I wouldn’t have an ‘allowance’ for that type of relationship either….

  307. Treasured says:

    Hence I have a VERY complicated relationship with my mother 😀


  308. Treasured says:

    PS: Yes, exactly that. Not even being applied to sugar relationship. ANY relationship. If the person has the MEANS to make other person’s life different, BUT DOESN’T do it – he doesn’t care.
    And, if one doesn’t care – why continue trying?

  309. Treasured says:

    AND. There is a difference between being able to afford and not.
    Being able and NOT willing – one thing (shows that basically he lost interest).
    Genuinely NOT being able – completely another.

    I can live without 5* lifestyle for a while, but I can’t with indifference.

  310. Treasured says:

    WCSD – You skipped the vital part of my post. RELATIONSHIP. A relationship to me actually means some FEELINGS. From both sides. So, if a person I am very much taken with (might I even utter the word “love”) and, has the means (so, he is not investing, starting a charitable foundation etc. etc. etc.) YET, chooses not to spoil me just a bit more – well, it would be like me having more time, yet choosing NOT to spend it with him… So, yes, I WOULD be offended.

    But, what you are describing – IS a business transaction. Length, how often, exclusivity…

    And, by the way, if I were in a relationship… And a guy would start suddenly have some financial difficulties… I would not say “hey, you give me less, so instead of having sex twice per night we are having it only once”. A relationship IS a a relationship. If I were emotionally involved with a guy – nothing would have changed (my problem is actually getting emotionally involved, because, well, most of the guys really do not deserve that).
    He might have to deal that I would have another hmm… SD on the side. But, in my own way, I’d still be loyal.

  311. WCSD says:

    @Treasured – I disagree with your comment that essentially says that since the SD suddenly starts to earn 10x more money, that you deserve more of it. Maybe he is going to start a charitable foundation, maybe he is going to use this extra $ to invest in a new business that employs hundreds of people, etc. He is the one that earned that money, and he deserves to do with it what HE wants. Now if your agreement has changed (number of times meeting, length, exlusivity, etc.) then fine, a renegotiation may be warranted, but his earnings vs. your allowance should not be linked.

    If he suddenly started earning half of what he made when you started, would you be willing to take 1/2 the allowance?? Even if he could still ‘afford’ the whole amount, but by the same logic, it doesn’t matter, your allowance and his earnings are linked, right?

  312. Jersey Darling says:

    Well I, for one, am a terrible actress.

    I am however awesome at telling just pieces of the truth. Luckily I choose not to exercise that skill because I’d much prefer to be appreciated for who I am.

    What fun would fancy dinners be if I couldn’t make my corny jokes?

  313. Treasured says:

    “You have to be an incredible actor, and also be able to live with yourself (selling your soul….)”

    YUP. That is why some of us can demand as much as we do 😀

  314. WCSD says:

    @gtt_envy – If the SB is just ‘playing the game’ and saying all the right things so that the SD thinks she is the perfect SB, does it really matter? A person’s perception is their reality, so if the SD thinks she is perfect, she is, whether she actually feels that way or if it is ‘just an act’

    The bigger question is whether the SB is really that good of an actor to continually ‘fool’ the SD into thinking she is perfect. I mean the little brain takes over way too often for us, and yes we get fooled (but looking at the blog so do SBs), but doing it long term? You have to be an incredible actor, and also be able to live with yourself (selling your soul….). But if you are that good, and the SD perceives it as perfect, who cares….it is perfect. And if you slip up, well those are the red flags that everyone talks about seeing…and you can only ignore those for so long until all you see are the flags, and not the person standing in front of you. But we have ALL been there, staring at flags, wondering how we got there.

  315. Treasured says:

    @ Frank – it depends. If a man suddenly starts earning x10 times, why not? Providing all is great within the relationship. As my friend once told me – why not to share if he can afford to. Even in a sugar relationship. Providing it is a RELATIONSHIP and not a pure trade.
    But, if the means stay the same, demands grow and sweetness goes, I think it is the end to any relationship. Sugar or non sugar.

    I would be terribly offended, if I got to know that my boyfriend/SD buys a jet for himself, yet still buys me tickets in coach 😀 hehehe

  316. Frank says:

    What about the situation where the SB has escalating needs and wants, and less interest in providing the sugar. That is often how I have seen relationships go, both sugar and non sugar. That’s a way for the SB to indicate she is ready for a change, consciously on subconsciously.

  317. Debbie says:

    @ treasured and jersey…..we do love been taken care of.

  318. Treasured says:

    @Jersey – It is genetics 😀 ALL WOMEN (despite of what we say sometimes) want to be taken care of 🙂

    The level of “care” is different to each girl though 😀

  319. Treasured says:

    *Not “while”, “why”

  320. Jersey Darling says:

    Glad you’re backing me up on that one Treasured! Of course there is the caveat that you must treat her well (emotionally not just financially) but I’m pretty sure it’s hardwired into us genetically that we like a good provider.

  321. Treasured says:

    A discussion with my best gay friend.

    Me: “Can you explain to me while all men I meet want to marry me?”
    Him: “To tie you up. Men are stupid. They don’t get that they could possibly tie you up JUST by providing finances and luxury lifestyle.”

    How very true.

    If a SD or man DOES provide and is consistent with it – no woman will leave… Well, anytime soon anyways 😛

  322. Jersey Darling says:

    I can under stand the need for that. Although I have a SB, I am looking for a back up, because there is no commitment, and our relationship could end at any time.

    I feel like guys wouldn’t have to worry about losing SBs as much. You’re providing the financial assistance – as long as you’re treating her well I’d figure most girls would stick around. But I could be wrong.

    SDs, do you really fear that you could lose your SB at any moment?

  323. Frank says:

    I can under stand the need for that. Although I have a SB, I am looking for a back up, because there is no commitment, and our relationship could end at any time.

  324. Stacy, says:

    @Frank – juggling multiple SDs is essential if a girl really needs the sugar – sugar money is unreliable, and being a quality sugar is $$$.

    It’s also fun, as each man brings his own personal qualities in addition to the $ugar. And, considering most SDs have limitations (work/marriage) that prevent a real relationship, a sugar girl needs a few men in her life to fill the holes (no pun intended).

  325. Frank says:

    the more I read the blog the more I wonder how any are like California_SB? Juggling multiple SD’s, telling them all what they want to hear, playing the “game” perfectly while each SD thinks they have met their dream

    Many have had their doubts about the claimed exploits of Calif. But in the end, its much less of a challenge to juggle two SD’s than it is to juggle two boyfriends, which a lot of girls seem to be able to do with ease.

  326. Stacy, says:

    @Fl’heir and Jersey – Cali looked at my profile back in the day (when I had a premium membership) and it didn’t show. I think only the gender of profile types (male or female) you’re looking for show up.

    Dorky – my rant was more about the concept of any woman (SB or street corner prostitute) selling her soul. I see it as no different from the work I do in my more public field.

    Prostitution, as a concept is a field I find particularly fascinating – Sugar is a fetish for me, lol, not a need. Which gives me huge flexibility in who I choose to entertain, rather than considering every SD who offer$. It makes me feel powerful, appreciated, and NAUGHTY!!

  327. gtt_envy says:

    IDK, the more I read the blog the more I wonder how any are like California_SB? Juggling multiple SD’s, telling them all what they want to hear, playing the “game” perfectly while each SD thinks they have met their dream SB.

    Seems at least going off the posters in the blog that the SB’s are fairly good at acting while the SD’s are far more genuine in their dare I say “feelings”.

    Just observing 😉

  328. Frank says:

    Jersey- I think the key is having a SD that you enjoy being around. After meeting a potential SB for lunch one day, she said to me, you know if we met at a bar, I would have gone out with you. That made me feel good, and she seemed to enjoy our times together. And her alternative was working in a day care center, so that made it twice as much fun for her.

  329. Jersey Darling says:

    It’s not something I’d prefer doing, but like I told a friend the other day, it pays off more than a minimum wage side job

    Funny thing for me is I totally prefer doing this. I mean, I’d prefer doing this over a real job if I could. It’s like a fantasy for me. Being wined and dined by influential men, enjoying their company, having them take care of me.

    Of course then some guy comes along and ruins the fantasy by treating me like an escort, but hey. You take your lumps to get to the good stuff.

  330. JustATequilaSD says:

    Lawyers sell their souls in law school. (And then sell it again later through the use of some little known loophole.)

    ” unless there are multiple naked penis parts trying to invade my vaginal airspace”
    LOL, love it…You also know my one penis rule; one penis in the room…MINE.

  331. JustATequilaSD says:

    Ah, the sun rises. Time to get back to the Tequila coffin. Mardi Gras 2013 is over. 🙁


    The Slow Motorboat (The Rowboat) – After beads were negotiated, this guy treated her chest like it was an icecream cone, a milkshake, and then ended with “brunski”

    Three Lesbians in the Courtyard –
    one sitting in the chair, another standing behind grabbing the breasts, the third riding the girl in the chair as she’s fingering her. What happens in New Orleans stays in New Orleans.

    Worst Prepared – I don’t care if you paid for them or received them as a gift, walking in street muck and grime in your Loubitins seems like stupid shit to me. Most really nice shoes will only last a few hours after treading through street trash.

    The Best Custom Beads – At a party, I saw an interesting accessory designed by a doctor and attached to a set of beads. It was a speculum made of yellow and orange plastic, with googly eyes, and a sticker that said “What the Duck?!” There was also a little bulb in the duck’s mouth that you could squeeze to make him quack. Awesome.

  332. goldfish says:

    @Treasured That is a great analogy. I can’t say I’m great at this. I feel lucky to have had at least one consistent man throughout all of this because the others are worth nothing.

    It’s not something I’d prefer doing, but like I told a friend the other day, it pays off more than a minimum wage side job would. And I’ve met at least two great guys in the past four years from SA.

  333. Treasured says:

    @ Frank – Re mask. LOL. You think might work? :p

    @ Dorky – and your profile views went WAY up 😀

  334. Treasured says:

    Gold – I live in the damn Europe. And… To put it mildly… SDs (and men generally) here are MUCH more spoiled (can’t find a more suitable word).

    As to SB lifestyle and selling my soul 😀 (THAT was a joke).

    It i not always about 100% liking what you do (well for me). It is doing it because it is a damn good option at the moment and I am brilliant at it.

    Dorky made an analogy with the neonatal UCI. That not many people are cut out for it. True. But to give you an example. When I started med school, I was completely against anything to do with the kids. I want to do surgery. And I knew, if a child going to die on me – it will break my heart.
    I still think, that if that is going to happen (and, at some point it will) – it will still break my heart. Each and every time. And, I myself might die a thousand deaths. BUT. I KNOW I will be an excellent surgeon. Not a lot of people in my opinion can do it. I KNOW I CAN. So, even if I risk breaking my heart – this is now an option I am seriously considering. Why? Because I can.
    Sometimes you have to do what you have to do 😀

    Same with the SD dating. Why do I do it? Because I can. And, even though it is not 100% perfect and sometimes makes you feel horrible, it has it’s perks. And, besides, I am so damn good at it 😀

  335. goldfish says:

    Re: selling your soul,
    I don’t think SBs are looking to do whatever for money. But I was talking with one man in Europe who thought of SA as no more than a toned down escort site. He pretty much categorized SBs and escorts as one in the same.

    I don’t know if it’s the selection of Europeans on the site or what, but I can’t help but get that vibe from many of them. A feeling that I don’t remember having in the States. Has anyone else felt that?

  336. Debbie says:

    Hi everyone, been gone a while….work keeps interfering with my fun. Just finished reading the last blog and this one. I seemed to miss all the fun.

  337. DorkyGuy says:

    @Ellen, lol.. on the last thread, I made a comment that i think started all of the “selling” conversation. I am to blame! I am glad you think I’m funny. They say the best way to get laid is to get a girl laughing, and then sneak in mid-chortle.

  338. EllenSugarB says:

    I agree with Tina that people ( Sb and otherwise) have to do some soul searching to know their own limitations so that they don’t “sell out”. That was a good way to put it, Tina.

    Dorky I’m not even sure if it was you who said anything about selling your soul, or treasured< sometimes I lose track of posts with all the chatter in here 🙂 But any who, I know you all mean well and don't ever mean to insult. On another note, Dorky says some funny sh!t !!!

  339. Bella says:

    Tonight is a stoned SuperNintendo Swedish berries kind of night with my friend, whom is considering the possibility of potentially becoming a SB. I tend to corrupt those around me, in the best ways possible. 😀

  340. flyR says:

    I have also noticed a sudden surge in mail from Romania and Latvia.

    Using the other good size of the sugar rules, if you update your profile frequently you stay a the top of default searches . It puts you offline briefly so use sparingly. Chjange on a dull day.

  341. DorkyGuy says:

    Yeah, I have noticed that… when your subscription lapses, they update your create date (I think), and it bumps you up higher in the search results. I think it’s calculated to get you to renew your subscription to read the emails.

  342. flyR says:

    someone asked if it was an R rated fly

    Another question re SA . I frequently let my full paid membership lapse as I am happy where I am and hopelessly distracted with the blog. When that happens I get a surge in emails as if there is a gang of bots unleashed or some SB’s earning points sending emails from the 4 corners of the planet. Anybody else see the same thing?

  343. DorkyGuy says:

    @Guru, never mind on the email exchange… We got it.

  344. DorkyGuy says:

    @flyr~ lol at the capital R

  345. Jersey Darling says:

    @flyr, that’s a good point… I hadn’t thought of that!

  346. Jersey Darling says:

    (if it’s easier – puffin 532 at gmail)

    It’s alright, secrets can stay that way… but it’s torture isn’t it? 😉

  347. flyR says:

    @Jersey “’ve had enough of seeing SB profiles… I’d like to see some SD profiles now. I’m looking at you Dorky.”

    A couple of searches using search phrases usually narrows the potential SD or SB . Default criteria is date of profile but it can be changed to last signin date…. Chances are someone who is here also checks signs in to check their mail on occasion.

    For those searching it’s probably more productive to look for people who have signed in recently.

  348. DorkyGuy says:

    @Jersey~ Oh fine, I’ll pay the $60 just to read the email. I was gonna send it to a starving kid in Africa, but he’ll understand!

    @Guru~ can you please give her my gmail address?

  349. Jersey Darling says:

    But yes, we can still exchange emails. And no I’m not telling the secret 😛

  350. Jersey Darling says:

    Oh I know, I did that on purpose… what I wrote is a secret :mrgreen:

  351. DorkyGuy says:

    You can tell.. on the search options, you can choose “profile number”. Put the profile number in there, and it comes up as the only search result. You can then tell if it’s premium.

    btw, blue SD accounts’ cant read email, so I didn’t get the one you sent me… Guru, can you please do an email exchange?

  352. Jersey Darling says:

    From now on when I view SB profiles I’m doing it from a different account just in case 😛

  353. Jersey Darling says:

    If they have their college email that’s easy enough to do for a girl, college email nets you a free premium account. And you can’t tell if they’re premium until after you’ve pasted their profile number and viewed the profile (if you are a girl trying to view it).

  354. DorkyGuy says:

    lol, I am not paid.. you can perv me in complete anonymity.

    Yes, you’re right about using a fake newbie profile… but they would need a premium profile to pull it off.

  355. Jersey Darling says:

    Oh wait… are you paid? Then you’ll see mine.

    I think I’ve seen you say before that you’re not so I’ll go for it 😛 And all this time I was browsing SBs profiles I didn’t realize they could know it was me since we were the same gender. Basically if anyone wants to find out the identity of everyone on the blog, they just have to pose as a newbie SB asking for advice then.

  356. DorkyGuy says:

    Jersey, paid (orange/diamond) members of both genders can see who viewed them. Blue profiles of both genders cannot. My profile is 342017.

  357. Jersey Darling says:

    “Dorky, there is a SD who want to know why you keep looking at his profile. lol

    Shit, guys can see when guys look at their profile? Then everyone can tell if I’ve been creeping on them! 😳

    I’ve had enough of seeing SB profiles… I’d like to see some SD profiles now. I’m looking at you Dorky.

  358. Frank says:

    ILWCG- Thanks, I now know were my SB s spot is!

  359. Frank says:

    Where have all the young girls gone?

  360. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    They lied to you !
    the female G spot is at the end of word SHOPPIN G .

  361. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    yes, forgot 1/3 of topics here – politics (forgot guys come here to interest us with their political p of v )

  362. DorkyGuy says:

    Frank, I think it’s just you and me for a while. The ladies are all on google. 😛

  363. DorkyGuy says:

    @Frank lol!

    Speaking of buzzing things… Gals, you’ve heard of the G Shot, right? Well, the same gynecologist who developed that (Dr. Matlock) is about to release something brand new just for you ladies… It’s a tiny little device about the size of a pea that is surgically inserted just above the clit, right on top of a specific nerve. When the device is triggered, it causes an orgasm on demand. And, it can be controlled via an iPhone app.

    I can’t *wait* until someone hacks the app, and walks through a restaurant, giving all of the women orgasms.

  364. Frank says:

    Dork can be the coach, I’ll be referee!

  365. DorkyGuy says:

    **perk** sex coaching classes?

  366. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:


    Just saw your post. (U guys write a lot).

    I just registered at match
    Oh… let me see … how guys r different at SA and match.

    I was at party last week (yes, me and 2 my knew Latvian GFs made it a wild party) met some very good guys , exchanged business cards … and some very successful and handsome guys said they r on match, or met their GFs on match .?
    Let me see.

    Guru . what can I say ; 🙂 the NYC guy I met live, he looks like his pictures, tall , good shape, skinny , intelligent …
    Exactly what details you need ?:)

    People talk about recipes and computer games in here.

    Then i mention vibrators or sex coaching classes blog SDs says “let’s switch topic away from buzzing things…” etc…

  367. Frank says:

    Fiscal conservative libertarian is what I am.

  368. DorkyGuy says:

    I am a weird hybrid. Fiscally, very conservative… about as far right as you can get.

    On social issues, I am more middle of the road. I just don’t care about gay marriage, drugs, etc.. What I care about is my kids’ share of the national debt.

    I think 100 years from now, people will look back and wish that we had addressed the fiscal issues, much more than the social issues. But we keep electing with our emotions.

    I think we are pretty much getting the government (and future) we have asked for and deserve.

  369. Frank says:

    Dorky, was a liberal before, (don’t blame me I voted for McGovern) and a conservative now (not to be confused with the current crop of republicans)

    Tina, don’t forget to blow on the candle

    Tina if you gave me three wishes, well that would satisfy me!

  370. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    “If you’re not a liberal at twenty you have no heart, if you’re not a conservative at forty you have no brain.” ~ Winston Churchill

    I posted this Q 5 months ago here.

    And you Dorkey said everyone moved on ?

  371. Tina says:

    @Frank: I have to wait another 2 weeks to do a Valentine’s / Birthday combo celebration……but it will be worth it. I think we’re both going to be rode hard and put away wet, sore, and satisfied! 😉

  372. Tina says:

    @Dorky: I’ve always loved that one by Churchill……….

  373. DorkyGuy says:

    @Frank~ Amen

    “If you’re not a liberal at twenty you have no heart, if you’re not a conservative at forty you have no brain.” ~ Winston Churchill

  374. Tina says:

    What about something along the lines of King Arthur and the Sword in the Stone analogy? It only comes out for the right person (don’t have to tug hard, just stroke it the right way), treats her like a queen as long as she’s worthy………eh, it’s a stretch……….

  375. Tina says:

    @Dorky: but she only gets three wishes then he disappears until someone else rubs him out of hiding……..

  376. Frank says:

    pot of gold? In my day we were always looking for gold pot.

    Rode hard and put away wet is what I’m giving my SB for valentines day.

    That and some outfits she picked out for herself.

    Listening to Obama, boy does he have a lot of government solutions to a lot of problems, and only one short statement on how to pay for it. The rich should pay their fair share.

    Tax the rich, feed the poor
    Till there are no rich no more

    I’d love to change the world
    But I don’t know what to do
    So I’ll leave it up to you

    10 Years after

  377. DorkyGuy says:

    I guess you could draw an analogy between Sugar dating and leprechauns… let’s see how that would work.

    According to leprechaun lore, in order to get the gold, the girl has to first catch the leprachaun… but they are small and slippery little buggers that always try to get away. Doesn’t sound like much fun!

    I much prefer the genie analogy… because then all she has to do is spot the lamp, and rub it until a genie pops out.

  378. Tina says:

    And hell, that holiday is all about making wishes if you find the Leprechaun’s pot of gold and all……and since you have your own pot of gold, does that mean you get unlimited wishes?

  379. Tina says:

    @Dorky: you forgot St. Patty’s Day before that………..

  380. DorkyGuy says:

    True, Mother’s Day is coming up. Would that be an inappropriate way to celebrate?

  381. Tina says:

    @Dorky: it’s all in your perspective on if you enjoyed the ride 😉 And Christmas Wish list? Whaaaaaaat? Why wait that long? You have LOTS of holidays between now and then! 😉

  382. DorkyGuy says:

    “rode hard and put away wet”…. I’m not seeing how that’s a bad thing… In fact, it’s on my Christmas wish list!

  383. Tina says:

    @Dorky: I think as a general rule EVERY SB needs to know what she is willing to do in an arrangement. Hell, EVERYONE should know themselves well enough to know their own limits in an arrangement or any other type of relationship. Otherwise, you can end up feeling used, abused, tore up from the floor up, rode hard and put away wet, etc…….. Unfortunately, there are some SBs that never evaluated that part of themselves, and gave up more than they really felt comfortable with, hence “selling part of their soul”. There is a thought process to being a good SB – it’s more than just a pretty face and nice body.

  384. DorkyGuy says:

    @Frank, lol, whenever I perv your photo, I always use a fake SB profile. Thanks for the pic of Mount Vesuvius by the way!

  385. DorkyGuy says:

    Hey guys, when I made the comment that no amount of money is worth someone’s soul, it was not intended to denigrate what you guys do. I was referring to a situation where it appeared that the person didn’t have the emotional health required to be able to participate in this kind of thing.

    Treasured set me straight, and I stand corrected.

    I would make exactly the same comment toward someone who is emotionally fragile working in a neonatal ICU. Not everyone is cut out for it. If someone is clearly cut out for it, then the comment no longer applies.

  386. Frank says:

    Bella, Your profile pictures show a really innocent girl, whereas from you blog comments, I see more of your wild side. This photo hints at your wild side, so I give it a thumbs up.

    Stacy- much rather see my sb than a Shrink! And it does me more good!!

    Dorky, there is a SD who want to know why you keep looking at his profile. lol

    Treasure, I can get a mask with a likeness of ryan gosling on it.

  387. Tina says:

    Heart, <3 , not hear……….

  388. Tina says:

    Looks like I missed out on some good convo! Oh well 🙁 I’m such a dork that I’m making a hear shaped cake to take to work tomorrow….yellow cake with chocolate frosting. At the rate things are going, it looks like I will have to frost the cake tomorrow morning before I go to work; wish me luck, since a bad morning could end up with the cake on the floor and me covered in chocolate frosting! 😀

    @Tequila: the one penis policy is for relationships; I’ve never been good at balancing multiple men (insert pun here). Naked Twister doesn’t count, unless there are multiple naked penis parts trying to invade my vaginal airspace……

  389. Stacy, says:

    The concept of SBs being for sale or lease or trade is BS! Is a lawyer for sale? How about doctors, they provide a service that provides relief to their clients? A professional therapeutic masseuse is more intimate with a guest’s anatomy as a whole then most people are with their lovers. SBs offer a delightful escape, for a reward, just as a good shrink does.

  390. Bella says:

    @ Frank, no problem 😉

    Do you think the pic in my gravatar would be a suitable full body kind of pic for my profile?

  391. EllenSugarB says:

    Um…sorry, treasured. I do not consider my sugar lifestyle choice as selling my soul. I am not for sale or for lease, but I will share if I like the person. ( And believe me, telling the uber rich butt-holes that they can’t buy me really pisses them off.)

    Guru, you bring up a good point when you ask if I would see him in the same light if we spent lots of time together, as opposed to seeing each other sporadically as we have been….I’m not sure how much that would change, I guess I have to wait and see.

    To answer some questions regarding the apartment: It would be for a year lease, he would only be there 3-4 days a month, and yes I would have the means to take it over if he were to “poof.”

    Tequila, I tell every man I know (including SDs) that I want kids one day and that if I were to accidentally get pregnant, they will “accidentally” be a father.

  392. Stacy, says:

    I am also rather fond of Russian’s definition of drama free: Lots of drama, for free!

  393. Frank says:

    NSA? I thought that meant no (bull)sh*t allowed!

  394. Frank says:

    Stacy, just a reminder, some of the SD’s on this site have reported yardage rather than footage.

  395. Stacy, says:

    @ Goldfish – Poofing and reappearing is the game of the sugar world. That’s why you always get the gift$ up front – assume your SD has a 50% chance of disappearing after every visit, that’s the definition of NSA.

  396. Treasured says:

    Dorky – I like your grandmother 😉

  397. DorkyGuy says:

    @Treasured~ It’s like my dear grandmother used to say. Sex is like a game of cards. If you don’t have a partner, you better have a damn good hand.

  398. Treasured says:

    I am starting to have:
    1) A huge crush on Ryan Gosling
    2) Insatiable desire for sex


  399. DorkyGuy says:

    “For whatever reason, some men just dislike conflict and dislike saying “no”, even if it’s their answer.”

    These are the same buttholes who promise to call, and then don’t. You know the guys. Avoid the immediate conflict by making a promise they don’t intend to keep.

  400. DorkyGuy says:

    @gf~ (goldfish and girlfriend abbreviate to the same initials? hmmm)

    Sounds like he doesn’t feel any obligation to help you.. and he shouldn’t. He hasn’t seen you in months. Where’s the quid-pro-quo?

    For whatever reason, some men just dislike conflict and dislike saying “no”, even if it’s their answer. He’s blowing you off.

  401. goldfish says:

    tough love, but you all are probably right. I’ll wait and see what he does. I have some other potentials to meet in the next couple of weeks, so I suppose it can’t hurt to wait and let things run their course with him.

  402. goldfish says:

    @Stacy, I would totally agree with you except that he sends me messages out of the blue. I’ve never been huge on communicating often with men who are otherwise indispensable, so it’s not unusual for me.
    It’s just the yes when he could have easily said no.

    And yes, I think you should go for the private viewing on a website. 🙂 He’ll be impressed with your tech and sexy skills. 😉

    @flyr, What do you mean by a marketing problem?

    • SD Guru says:

      “I’ve had a fairly laidback relationship with one particular SD who I’ve seen a couple times, but due to travel (mostly on his part) have not seen him in a few good months.”

      Let’s see… you’ve only seen him a couple of times and haven’t seen him in several months. Do you think you still have a SD? Based on his actions, not his words, the problem seems to be lack of interest on his part.

  403. Stacy, says:

    @Goldfish – if you haven’t seen him in a few months and he hasn’t paypaled the money he isn’t going to. Drop it and move on.

  404. flyr says:

    @goldfish – Think of the messages he may be sending you and decide if a more strident reminder is in your best interest.

    My guess is that you have a marketing problem, not a discipline problem unless you have an exclusive agreement.

  405. goldfish says:

    Hello sugars!
    I’ve been gone for awhile (school, family, life). but am back with a question that needs answering.

    I’ve had a fairly laidback relationship with one particular SD who I’ve seen a couple times, but due to travel (mostly on his part) have not seen him in a few good months. Fine by me, but he’s also difficult to get a hold of. I asked for some money to pay school expenses, and he said yes. We agreed to use Paypal. Great, it’s settled. But for nearly a week, he hasn’t sent me the money.

    I’ve sent him a couple of emails to which he replied he’s out of the country but he’ll send it. And I’ve sent a couple more emails to see what’s up. Nothing.

    Very bizarre. and I don’t really appreciate it. Should I keep messaging him until I get a reply?

  406. London Girl says:

    @ Stacy, hahaha complete silence on the blog as every SD sits in silent, wondrous contemplation!

  407. Stacy, says:

    Guru – you are so sweet as well! Unfortunately, with my lack of gag reflex, I’m afraid most of the “footage” would be hidden by my throat. 😉

    • SD Guru says:

      “Unfortunately, with my lack of gag reflex, I’m afraid most of the “footage” would be hidden by my throat.

      What other talents do you have? With a talent like that, no wonder your SD showered you with gifts! But don’t worry, I’m sure the videographer will be able to handle it with professionalism and use his HD camera to capture every overflowing detail… :mrgreen:

  408. Stacy, says:

    Oh Tequila – how sweet of you to offer.

    What do you sugars think, is that a VDay gift worthy of all the turquoise boxes he sends, and a luxury Spa Day at the Four Seasons?

    • SD Guru says:

      “I’ll be making him a special website of dirty photos and videos. Any suggestions”

      I’ll be happy to be the photographer and videographer. I think he’d really enjoy a bj video. When and where is the shoot? :mrgreen:

  409. SD Guru says:

    “Guru, everyone, please give me a reality check and tell me not to get emotionally invested with a married man.”

    Welcome back, you always have an interesting scenario for the bog to ponder! So your dream SD is married and you’re going to get an apartment together at a city you’d like to relocate to. You know my number one rule for sugar dating is “don’t get emotionally attached to a married man”.

    Aside from that, is it a good idea to get an apartment with a SD? Assuming he’s the one paying the rent, can he be counted on to do that for the length of the lease? If not, do you have the means to take it over?

    Also, you mentioned that you’ve seen each other periodically over the years. That’s very different from seeing each other regularly. Will he still be your dream SD if you spend that much time with him?

    Now back to him being married. Will any of this keep you from getting emotionally attached?

    These are just some of the things to consider before you jump in with both feet. Good luck!

  410. JustATequilaSD says:


    I’d like to beta test the Valentine site to ensure cross browser cumpatability.

  411. Stacy, says:

    Valentine’s Day for the SD – I’ll be making him a special website of dirty photos and videos. Any suggestions, I’m running out of content, lol.

  412. SD Guru says:

    It’s Mardi Gras time!! Where are the boobs (I meant beads)!! :mrgreen:

  413. JustATequilaSD says:

    re: Valentine’s Day
    Keep It Simple Stupid. Stay Equally eXcited.
    Not much of a love letter, and I didn’t check it for “haiku-ness”. But this is what I strive for on Valentine’s Day.

    ” strict one penis policy”
    Per session?? Or in your relationships?? And does naked twister count against the limit?

    “some SD/SB’s with 5 digit profile numbers who are truly the originals”
    Wow, how old must those guys be by now. Amazing.

    Congrats on the guy. No shameful talk from me. I don’t care if he’s married. That’s “your” potential heartache. Which leads to your reality check. If he leaves his wife for you…you’re next. If he doesn’t, well you’ll probably pine for him when he moves on to the next SB. In the meantime, enjoy the ride while it lasts, and when it’s over you may want to revamp your list to include “wants to have kids with me someday.” If it happens to work out like you want it to, and I was wrong, I’m cool with that too.

    Don’t sell your soul…lease it and keep the property rights. 🙂

  414. babydoll says:

    sexy lingerie,high heels, toys and nakedness lol

  415. Jersey Darling says:

    @Treasured – Your reasons make sense, and if sugar didn’t come easily to you I know you’re smart enough that you’d put it aside and move onto something else. But I’ve heard from several girls on here off blog that they do this because they feel they have no choice. Girls that sugar doesn’t come easily to and end up compromising a lot along the way.

    It’s for them that I’m really posting. Sometimes the answer on getting to where you want to go with your schooling is simply that it will take time. Especially in America (don’t know how other countries are with this) we’re conditioned to go get that bachelors right away before many know what to do with their life, and then when they graduate and realize they can’t get a job (in this economy) or still have no idea what they want to do, they go BACK to grad school, accumulate even MORE debt, and dive into a tailspin as they STILL can’t find a job and are never able to pay it off.

    Had you asked me for my advice post recession, a lot of it would have been different. Education was viewed as a golden ticket. I’ve since changed my views on that.

    There ARE other ways, like getting schooling you can afford. Community college then a 4 year, going to state schools, etc, and working your way through it. Scholarships. Living at home if it is an option for you while going to school. Or simply postponing your advanced studies for a bit while you work and save money.

    If you CAN do sugar to propel you forward that’s great, but you can never count on it and should only be doing it because you enjoy it and never because you are desperate or you are likely to have a lot of regrets.

  416. Treasured says:

    Umpp… I’m 27. Surgeons stop operating at 50ish. So, school now.
    Full time job – impossible (full time uni + 2 kids under 6 = very very busy girl).

    But, of course. I love my lifestyle and the ability to give my kids the best (I do not mean toys/clothes, I mean education and nutrition and holidays).

    And, having fun along the way… It is worth selling a part of my soul to the Devil 😀

  417. Jersey Darling says:

    Please ignore the typos/random italics in my post, combo of morning brain and my iPad not playing nicely.

  418. Jersey Darling says:

    UNFORTUNATELY, [leaving sugar] appeared not to be possible. Unless someone on the blog wants to sponsor a med student through college

    This isn’t really addressed to you Treasured, as I sense you now you don’t have to do this, but Ive been hearing this a lot since I’ve joined SA.

    Of course it is possible to leave sugar. No one has to be here. If you can’t afford school plus your current lifestyle, you can always postpone school or take out loans OR get a full time job and go back to school once you’ve saved up the money for it. Or work your way through school (tougher for you Treasured since you have a child).

    Plenty of people make their way through life without relying on someone else to pay for their ride.

    it’s a pet peeve of mine when people think its the easy way out or no way out at all.

  419. Treasured says:

    @ Or better yet, get out of the flesh business altogether, and find a guy who loves you. No amount of money is worth your soul.

    Hmmm…. I kinda tried to do it about 10 blogs before..

    UNFORTUNATELY, it appeared not to be possible. Unless someone on the blog wants to sponsor a med student through college and do something nice without expecting anything in return 😛 As I like to say “Don’t teach me how to live my life, help me financially” 😀
    AND, falling in love and having SDs on the side does not exclude one another.

  420. Treasured says:

    LOL. MARRIED. Not gay. (Was thinking about my best gay friend at the time. Mind is a curious thing)

  421. Treasured says:

    @Ellen. Do not get so emotionally invested with a gay man! 😛

    But… To be serious. Sometimes it is better to experience happiness, even though you know in advance, that you will be hurt. Then not to experience anything at all 🙂
    Just be safe and have fun.

  422. EllenSugarB says:

    …After talking about it for a year, he now is finally ready to get an apartment together, kind of together. I own house, which I will keep, he too owns a house (with a family in it) which he will keep, and he will only be in the apartment a few days a month while he is there on business. During which time he wants me to stay with him, which I actually am looking forward to because 1) This is a city which I woud like to find a job in and relocate to, and 2) I really enjoy being with him, 3) He is realistic and said he understands if I find a boyfriend and want to move on at some point (maybe soon since I’m 30 and probably want kids at some point)….SO before I get too wrapped up… Guru, everyone, please give me a reality check and tell me not to get emotionally invested with a married man.

    Spare yourself the wasted time with the “shame on you for being with a married man” talk. It will be falling upon deaf ears. Reality check the vast majority of men on here are married.

    I’m going to bring all of this up to my counselor, but you guys always bring up perspectives and points that I would never think of. So please do chime in. Thanks!

  423. EllenSugarB says:

    Hi Sugar friends! It’s been a while… Stopping by to say hello and catch up

    I deleted my profile a while back as I wanted to take a little break from sugar and I’ve been super busy, but I still check on the blog once and a while.

    SO…within my first month of joining SA two years ago I met a man who had joined the site back when it first started. (’06 or ’07?) We’ve always kept in tuch and seen each other periodically ever since we met. I dont want to jinx it by saying – but this man is the dream SD. We have a friendship, we have a lot in common, great conversations, he treats me really well, he does really special and thoughtful (things and yes there is an allowance in case you’re wondering)

    SO…I must share the most recent awesome experience. We went on our first trip together and it was a blast! Coincidentally, we ended up visiting the town where I went to college and stayed at a wellness retreat center. The drive was gorgeous, we had great food, watched a beautiful sunset, went for a hike, cuddled by the fire. As you all know, my rusty writing skills wont do justice to the experience, but to put it simply – it was very special. I love the simple things. I love when I can spend a simple quiet evening with someone and just enjoy being with them.

  424. Treasured says:

    Guys, thank you all for the care and love 😛

    BUT, 1. I LOOOOOVEEEEE myself. I think it is quite apparent from my posts. If not, then… I LOVE myself! And the first present on Valentine’s day would be from me to me. I had a relationship with myself for 27 years and I have to say, it is pretty much perfect at this stage 😛
    2. Guy is not a creep, not abusive and not an asshole. He is just the way he is. I have known him for almost a year now, and certainly feel very very safe with him. He is lovely. He finds me very beautiful and he didn’t tell me to loose 8lbs (pictures are still very recent, as I still haven’t changed my hair colour. Still am thinking on that one.). It is just my own fault that I put some on, so they must go 😛 Pictures on the profile DO include those 8 I want to get rid off.
    3. As for kinks… Well, my dear fellow members. Some could be quite and quite pleasurable 😛 😀

    On the note of Valentines day. Still nothing beats same old dinner, bath/champagne, slutty lingerie and hot sex.


  425. SD Guru says:

    Quote of the day: “The ones to whom money is expendable… well, chances are they will find you just as expendable if not more than their money is.” ~Jersey

    “his profile NR. starts with 1! So, he must have been here from the start.”

    Based on his 6 digit profile number I’d estimate that he originally joined the site in late ’07. There are some SD/SB’s with 5 digit profile numbers who are truly the originals!

    “He is REAL I met him in NYC.”

    So what happened? Details please! 😛

  426. DorkyGuy says:

    What I don’t get is… if you want someone who’s skin and bones, doesn’t Thailand have an abundance of girls like that already?

    Girls, how many of you would go on a trip with a guy you barely know to a country that is known for its sex trade? I mean, once you get there, and you are literally a world a way from anyone you know, what’s to stop him from taking your passport and selling you? I am probably over-thinking it, but could that be why he is so particular about her appearance for this trip?

    Better safe than sorry, I think

  427. flyR says:

    @Stacey ———— A slip of the tongue as the comment was a reply to a comment that was not yours but someone else’s………………. my apologies as I head for the Valentine Doghouse in Siberia

  428. DorkyGuy says:

    There’s a new marketing angle for some innovative SB.

    You can advertise yourself as a SB/personal trainer/nutritionist. Stop by in the morning, work him out, and make him a healthy breakfast. He’ll need that breakfast after 3 rounds.

  429. Stacy, says:

    @Flyr! I am crying into my pillow that you would think I need to lose 8 pounds, do we need to go back to the bikini avatar?

    It was Treasured who is looking into dropping some el bees for a picky SD.

  430. flyR says:

    from the prior subject

    @Stacey”I have a Thailand trip scheduled for the end of March – with a person who is quite particular in that department – 8lbs must go ”

    Unless you are seriously into abuse you need to change your ways.

    Serious research, paid for with your tax dollars, shows that your metabolic computer reboots after a night’s sleep. The best way to approach the 8 pounds is to attack it where it is vulnerable, at sunrise you have the opportunity to reboot your metabolic computer to a new level of performance with an hour or two of wild, neighbor disturbing sex. Two or three orgasms before breakfast consistently lead to weight loss, even with 2,000 calorie diets.

    This of course also opens new vistas, the sunrise sugardaddy who stops by on the way to the office. The requirements change as he is no longer expected to feed you high calorie drinks and dinners, no, he is simply there to pleasure you, wash your back in the shower and make your creditors dematerialize

  431. Lo says:

    I don’t think we’re on the same page tequila, I was thinking more along the lines of Gypsy Kings to go with my bellydancing routine

  432. Frank says:

    I agree SDLA March 20 should be a national holiday.

  433. Frank says:

    Thank you Bella, nice legs! Here are some for you, and my payment since I didn’t review a profile.

    Tina, I agree, one at a time for sure.

  434. Bella says:

    LEGS! 😀

    Just for you Frank, you lucky man you. 😉

  435. Tina says:

    @Lo: I’m definitely into good, soulful music! A little jazz perhaps? Some good soul? Country, soft rock, 80s…..just depends on the mood you want to set 😉

  436. Lo says:

    what about a belly dance? would that set the mood?

  437. Tina says:

    @Frank: my vagina has a strict one penis policy……

  438. Frank says:

    Ummm, upon further reflection, I with draw that post, its making light of a subject that should be addressed with more reflection.

    Oh what the hell, that’s what a blog is for! Look out SB, Vesuvius is starting to smoke!

  439. Frank says:

    Not true, I have lots of sex, just not with my wife.

  440. Tina says:

    @SDinLA: and why do you think I’m not inclined to get married? Hmmm? I like sex! 😀

  441. SDinLA says:

    @Tina, but do you cook him a steak daily too? I s’pose the occasion is aimed more at the married folk, since everyone knows once you get married your wife stops putting out. 😉

  442. Tina says:

    @SDinLA: wait, hold up, did you say STEAK? And Spot was upset about me having cows? Huh? *scratches head*

  443. Tina says:

    @SDinLA: wait, a beej is supposed to be saved for something special and isn’t a daily jaw workout? DAMN! I’ve been doing it wrong then 😉

  444. SDinLA says:

    I sure hope we get the same treatment next month, with multiple blog posts, as March 20th approaches (I case you didn’t know, March 20th every year is “Steak and Blow Job day” where females repay the man in their life for what he did on Valentine’s Day by cooking him a steak and giving him a beej.)

    Fair is fair…

  445. Tina says:

    Whooooooop! 😀

  446. Jersey Darling says:


  447. Leroy says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!