7 years ago
Seven Rules For Dating a Married Sugar Daddy


So, you’re dating a married man? While this may not be your  ideal scenario, many of our Sugar Daddies are, in fact, married. As his Sugar Baby you need to know your place in his life. Many people assume that sugar with no strings attached also means sugar with no emotions attached. But we all know that sugar can be messy: people fall in love, forge strong relationships and sometimes get their hearts broken. Sugar with a married Sugar Daddy? Even messier. Here are a few rules you can follow to help you navigate the rough waters of sugar on the side.

1. His needs (and his family’s) will come ahead of your’s.

Dating a married man, no strings attached, basically means that he needs to keep his other strings intact while dating you. Those strings being his wife, his family, his job and whatever else he is obligated to. You will come last on his list, and you have to be willing to accept this reality for as long as you are together.

2. Your relationship will be more beneficial to him.

Your relationship will most likely have to be kept a secret, which means you will be sacrificing more than he is. You may be on call 24/7 or going out of your way all of the time to meet him in obscure restaurants or off-the-beaten path hotels.

3. Respect his boundaries.

He is a married man, and while he is choosing to add sugar to his life, that doesn’t mean he wants to change anything about his home life. Know your place in his life, and respect that you are a separate part of his life. This may mean that you don’t talk about his wife or his family, or that you can only contact him under certain conditions. It’s important to discuss these boundaries upfront, so everyone is on the same page.

4. Do not get involved with personal drama.

It is in your best interest to keep out of any personal conflicts, even if you get caught. Try your best to not be at the center of the drama, but if you can’t help it do your best to minimize the impact. Don’t go to his wife, or get involved if she reaches out to you. If you start to become involved with his personal drama, it may be best to move on.

5. Don’t ask him to leave his wife.

Sometimes sugar is so sweet, we fall in love and start imagining a life outside of sugar. But he already has a life, with someone else. You knew this ahead of time, and things aren’t going to change just because your feelings did. He is not going to leave his wife, and you can not ask him to. He would have a different kind of relationship if that were the case.

6. Be creative during holidays.

Christmas, Valentine’s Day and birthdays are often very routine for a married man. A predictable gift, a holiday ritual that he shares with his family every single year. You need to bring something different to the table. He has chosen to be with you for a reason, don’t let him forget why.

7. Always use protection.

This might be a no-brainer, but slipping up with a married man could be devastating. No matter what your beliefs are, you will be forced to make decisions you won’t want to make, don’t even risk it.


Have you ever had a married Sugar Daddy? 

Sugar Daddies: what other rules or advice for dating married men would you add? 

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148 Responses to “Seven Rules For Dating a Married Sugar Daddy”

  1. Shantel says:

    Hie guy I need your help as well,I’m dating a guy who is 40 and I’m 23,this guy is married. …We been together for a year now ,what’s bothering me is that he wants me to be his second wife in 2 years time cuz for now I’m still in university but my family doesn’t want me to be with this man they say he is older than me although we love each other and I’ve seen some of his family,he is planning to make me pregnancy so that my family is going to let me be with me….so here guys I want u to help me,is it a good idea to carry on with this guy nd be the second wife or its just not a good idea? ?

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  3. Kalilat says:

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  7. Lovely lady says:

    Hi, I say always bring a friend. I’m in Cali what part will you be coming to?

  8. PreciousGirl says:

    Hi guys

    I’m fairly new to the site and I’m skeptical about having a SD but I kinda need one. I recently met a guy on here and he wants to fly me out to Cali for a couple of days for our first date/meet up but I live in Georgia. Is this to risky for the first time ever meeting? He will pay for all expenses, plus he said my friend can come since I told him I didn’t want to come by myself. What should I do?

  9. Monchen says:

    This all seems more complicated than it needs to be.

  10. Lo says:

    lol crazycat, he is the epitome of everything you should avoid on this site. Freebie hunter, pic collector, all talk and no walk. Glad I caught your comment in time before you did anything with this loser.

  11. crazycat says:

    thanks for your advise! i really think that you are right…he has been communicating with me almost whole weekend asking me to send him more pics of me..and obviously “sexy” ones, which i stupidly did ! and today he sent me a text while i was at work asking “what was the colour of my lingerie today?!” and when i said black he texts back saying “prove it!”..crazy, and i almost thought its too good to be true! young, handsome (atleast on his photos) very high earner etc willing to pay for my rent and everything else..but when i said when we going to talk about that before sex on the first date he says it has to go in parallel!!! thanks for warning me again…

    • Kore13 says:

      Why shouldn’t it be parallel? What guarantee can you provide the SD that you won’t simply disappear with his money?

      Don’t send sexy pictures that include your face.

  12. Lo says:

    bending when your husband cheats on you with a younger mistress one day maybe you wont find that as hot will you? Have some empathy.

    crazycat that sounds like a horrible idea. Congratulations you have connected with a cheap john. Don’t even think about placing a hand on him unless he offers you a satisfactory amount of money BEFORE not after sleeping with him or you’ll feel really dirty. Honestly he sounds like a scamming waste of time, there are plenty of men on here. Weed out the jerks and find a real sugardaddy.

  13. bendingknees says:

    treasured…. i like your point of view. i wouldn”t mind being a SB with a married man. it would be hott. like a mistress. the freaky girl on the side. most men cheat but if SD is treating both the wifey and the SB right no one needs to know

  14. Ali says:

    Nice tips. I definitely agree with no. 5 which is about not asking him to leave his wife simply because he would have a different kind of relationship if that were the case.

  15. crazycat says:

    Hi ladies
    It seems like i will have my first date with married SD coming week, as this will be my first date i have couple of questions to ask..
    1. Is it a good idea to sleep on the first date with him? as it seems he wants us to meet in the hotel ?
    2. if yes, how do i make sure he doesn’t disappear after we slept?..lol
    3. and he said he prefers not cash allowance but non monetary things which is really not what i need but i would prefer him to support me either way at the end..

    thanks for your answers in advance!
    crazy cat

  16. Frank says:

    Daniel-how would you discover that fact?

  17. Daniel says:

    It may seem hypocritical as a married SD, but I make it known right up front that this is expected to be an exclusive SD/SB relationship. My reasoning is that if we are going to do this then I shouldn’t have to compete for her time and attention and she shouldn’t have to compete for my time and resources. Of course regular dating is acceptable and expected for the SB. If I discovered otherwise (which wouldn’t be too difficult) it would immediately end the arrangement. As long as both agree to this up front, it shouldn’t be a problem.

  18. Silvereagle2012 says:

    As a married SD on Seeking Arrangement, I offer the following ideas to be aware of, for married SD’s or SB’s dating a married SD:

    1. Be mindful of your makeup. Lots of makeup products now have glitter in it. It is a dead give away that you were with another woman to come home with glitter. If caught, I recommend saying that you took clients to the strip bar. It will not keep you out of the dog house but it won’t end your marriage either.

    2. Perfume and lipstick……go as natural as possible for your SD. Married SD’s should note the kind of fabric softener sheet the wife uses and keep one with them. If you can smell your SB’s perfume on you, break out the dryer sheet and rub yourself and clothes with it. If questioned you can say your clothes always smell like that…..after all, it matches the dryer sheet. She will likely confirm with a sniff test, lol.

    3. Be on time for meet-ups. Nothing will raise suspicion more with a wife and end the arrangement faster than an SB constantly being late for the date. I ended my arrangement with a very nice girl but she could never be on time or she would constantly want to reschedule. SB’s -send your SD home also ontime, you don’t want to lose him because he isn’t disciplined enough to say goodbye when he should.

    4. Convince your SD to get a second mobile phone which he can top-up each month and be sure he locks the phone. This way his phone is never ringing with your name or phone number in it or for the wife to find. You can text him whenever you want and he can respond whenever he can. If the wife finds the phone he “found it in the parking lot at the store and needs to drop it back off to their lost and found”. Didn’t return it right away because he thought he could call contacts to locate the owner but didn’t realize it was locked until he got home. Or he can also toss it in the garbage in front of her without a worry because it does not have a contract. Goes and gets a new phone.

    5. If you get a hotel with your SD, be willing to rent the room in SB’s name. All it takes is a card from the hotel to “rate your stay” to be intercepted by the wife to end the arrangement. Also, there are no records of stay if a private investigator is able to have staff at a national franchise hotel search the data base as to dates and locations the SD registered.

  19. Little sugar says:

    Hi new to SA. Was just wanting to say hi to everyone and if you have any tips thy might help my journey would be really apriciated thank you all in advance.

  20. sTacy, says:

    Fly – having sat on Admissions boards AND acceptance committees – your information is 10+ years out of date. Welcome to the new world of Gainful employment regs!

  21. fly says:

    Getting into grad school one lick at a time

    State school – Major ruling power politician who controls budget strings. Can’t put a dunce in the school but can nudge. Saw it from both sides including some students in class (only a few) who were obviously assisted.

    Private school – again there are a lot of people pulling strings or attempting to. A strong letter of recommendation from a major as in MAJOR donor and BCC d to the dean has been known to help. Better yet would be a private donor to dean discussion before the admissions package arrives.

    There was a time when a summer internship with the speaker of the assembly virtually assured an attractive, cooperative blond admission to UC. grad schools. To the deans of public universities major politicians who control purse strings, look like billion dollar sugar daddies.

    It’s like playing poker, you can not have too many aces unless the number is greater than 4.

    What can also help is if you can find someone who has close contacts with or previously sat on the admissions committee who will coach you in writing your application for the specific university.

    Naturally all of these comments apply only to US universities. However, men are pretty much the same around the globe.

  22. sTacy, says:

    Lo – eww! So gross when SDs don’t provide what they agreed to – unless you somehow upset him and he was trying to teach you a lesson? Maybe next time you should cut your time together short a little – starting a few minutes before the critical time right before he gets off, but after you have, lol.

  23. Lo says:

    figures–thanks guys. Oh and SD number one is getting cheap. Siiiigh he shorted me one hundred dollars, am I now gonna have to bring up the tacky money conversation? He was about to go see his tax accoutant, maybe that’s it? Dunno but it’s annoying.

  24. Phoneguy says:

    >but how he makes me feel that makes for lasting affection.
    🙂 I agree Tina.

  25. Tina says:

    @Treasured: yes, it is! 🙂 We’re definitely still in the honeymoon stage, but we’re both happy. And as I’ve aged / experienced life, I’ve found that it isn’t about what he looks like that makes me happy, but how he makes me feel that makes for lasting affection.

  26. Treasured says:

    Perfection, Tina, isn’t it?

    And just this moment I desperately miss that perfection with someone special. 🙂

  27. Tina says:

    @Treasured: it’s a wonderful feeling to be comfortable around another person enough to just be, whether it’s naked, silly, embarrassed, whatever form of yourself happens to appear. My honey has a way of making me feel not only comfortable, but sexy and wanted regardless of how I think I look. It’s SO freeing! 🙂

  28. Treasured says:

    @Tina – fully agree 😛

    Especially with someone special 😛 Memories…. 🙂

  29. WCSD says:

    @Lo – I agree with Stacey, knowing someone won’t get you in, but in most cases of an extremely competitive program, many of them have an interview process (i.e. they sort through the candidates, then interview the short list, to create the entry list). A recommendation from someone can help you get to the short list, but it is always up to you to get in. And if you don’t even meet the minimum, it doesn’t matter who recommends you (and really someone with actual power to recommend won’t do it if you don’t qualify, no matter how golden your pussy is).

  30. sTacy, says:

    Lo- having worked in Admissions for a very selective University I’ll tell you that the chances of a donor being able to get a “friend” into a program that they are not otherwise qualified to be in are slim to none – and everybody in the department for that program would know you did it. A very nice “internship” or letter of recommendation from a daddy is all that you can respectably get.

  31. Tina says:

    Sometimes spending a day naked, in and out of bed, is the BEST thing to break the monotony of a routine 😉

  32. Treasured says:


    Take note of the profile Nr. 976013

    Sounds great, and, looks like, kissing with him might be quite pleasurable 😀

    Also, am watching “When Harry met Sally”. Relationship masterpiece 😀 hehehehehe
    Was avoiding it for a few years, in a notion that it is quite corny.

    Question, to all the gentlemen on here. What do you REALLY want to do after sex? And, how long do you want to cuddle for?
    I can spend ALL day in bed, and the nearest vicinity sometimes…

  33. Treasured says:

    LOL LO :D:D:D:D:D:D

    You should see what I look like when I go to uni 😀


    I look like I should pay someone to take me out for a date, and not the other way round 😀

  34. Lo says:

    allow me to excuse myself while I pick my mandible up from underneath my desk

  35. Treasured says:

    Vinnie – read the blog. Sort out your profile. Understand what you can give (time, sex, relationship wise) and what do you want to get for it.
    And start working on it. Send emails to Daddies, if your profile and pictures will be good enough – you will get plenty yourself.

  36. Treasured says:

    Lo, answering your question. I am taking a very tough and competitive course. And, any hint of me using my sexuality and not my brains, to get forward in my studies, actually would turn against me.
    Using your “pussy” to get ahead in your studies, is not appreciated in academic circles. Makes you look just like a stupid bimbo.
    So, here, to get ahead, you need to use your own head, and not to give someone one 🙂

  37. Lo says:

    sorry eight in the morning? Dang girl you weren’t lying you are definitely in Europe. But everyone feel free to answer my question on using my vagina to get into very competitive grad schools.

  38. Treasured says:

    Yuiks, girls! WAAAAY TMI!

    The thought of a vagina, which is capable of decomposing dicks, is not the first thing I need at 8am in the morning!

  39. Lo says:

    lol I need to run my vagina through something similar to an express car wash because it’s decomposed one too many dicks. But my question still stands..even the powers of my vagina can’t answer it. MUHAHAHAHAHA

  40. Bella says:

    I can’t tell whether you just answered your own question with the powers of your vagina or whether you’re talking about decomposing dicks, in which case, if your vagina has the power to do that, you…you really need to clean that thing once and a while.

  41. Lo says:


  42. Lo says:

    okay I’ve been really selfish about getting peoples advice this month but I can’t help it what with all the new developments. I’m trying to get into grad school for a program that’s super super competitive. I added a little tidbit on my profile saying bonus points for anyone who has ties to Universities. Is there anyway a SD with the right network or one who has donated large amounts to a University can somehow get me in?

  43. DorkyGuy says:

    “helping men decompose their dick” … is that zombie porn?

  44. Bella says:

    I’m too tired to be reading this blog right now, I just read that as “helping men decompose their dick” and I was all WTF. False alarm lol.

  45. sTacy, says:

    Oh, yes Dorky – I’m thinking KockShotz will be my next endeavor – helping men better compose and edit their dick pick.

  46. Lo says:

    well damn Theresa! Score!

  47. Theresa says:

    @Phoneguy In the sugarworld I would date a man that is 70, but he would have to be a young 70 because I am 49 and I don’t think I could just sit all day as a man just sat on his rocking chair while I stood around naked for him. In the real world I would date a man up to 10 years older. and I say that because I would want someone who I at least I have some kind of frame of reference with. My current SD is 5 years younger than I am and we have a lot in common, but at my age 5 years isn’t even an age gap.

    @Lexxy My SD is very handsome, I am very very satisfied with his looks. I am a very visual person (almost as bad as a guy) so looks are somewhat important to me, but the best thing about my SD isn’t just the fact that he is cute, but the fact that he talks to me like I am an intelligent person, and that he is the most unselfish lover I have ever had in my entire life. To tell the truth, I would sleep with him regardless of the sugar. I knew that on the first night. Yes, the sugar makes it sweeter, but the fact that we have chemistry and the fact that we can just watch TV together is just the icing on the cake.

  48. Treasured says:

    Dorky, not always.

    Bella, then go for it 😀

    Phone – if you actually say “DDz” loud, you can get “teteez”, which sound like “titties”. We should get some credit to the girl 😀 Such creativity can only be applaud.

    Theresa – No one should know anything 😛 But, there are exceptions 😀

    I at the moment have one regular SD (meeting every week), 3 spare ones – at the moment I just travel with them when I have time (but, they are sort of in a cue, to have a regular arrangement with me, when I am free), one, who is very much interested to join the company. And, someone else – someone whom I just like a lot 🙂
    And ALL of them know about me having others.
    WHAT? I can’t clone myself, can I? 😛

  49. Theresa says:

    The way I am handling my SD is that I have a boyfriend at home, and my SD knows nothing about him. Of course, my boyfriend knows nothing about my SD so it works out altogether. I’m older and I have no intentions of getting married to either of them. I wouldn’t get married to my SD because he already has his family and he loves his wife and I would never want to break up a family. As for my boyfriend, he’s much younger than I am and he acts like a child. I’m really thinking of breaking it off with him, so marriage is totally out of the question.
    Right now, I am having a good time, and the way I am doing things are working out for me just fine. If things change, I will reassess my options. But for right now, it’s just right now.

  50. Vinnie says:

    Im kinda lost on the whole idea. Maybe its because I just joined the site and my profile is still pending. But I would like to find a friend/daddy to have a good time around but I dont understand how to find them. Any advice?

  51. Phoneguy says:

    So does that mean she is quadruple Ds? Or does it just mean that DoubleDz was already taken?

  52. Bella says:

    @ Treasured, I wouldn’t be moving in with him, he would just give me one of his apartments for the summer while I kept my own place. I ain’t planning on moving in with any SD! 😛

  53. DorkyGuy says:

    I figure those guys are the same who introduce themselves with a penis pic.

  54. Treasured says:

    Now then. DoubleDDz – is quite something 😀

    I think it should go in the same list as: hotrod4u, mrsex69, yesboss69 (69 is a theme, don’t you think? 😀 ), as well as ferrari.ferrari, mr.1000000 and cash.4.you

    Geez, some email addresses just crack me up 😀

  55. sTacy, says:

    Lol! One of my occassional SDs sugar email account got hacked and sent out a spam that included the email addresses of all his other sugar girls.

    These email addresses are ridiculous: Bombshell69, DoubleDDz, Cutie4U – really ladies? Jenni-s is too complicated? Lol

  56. Treasured says:

    Madeline – sounds like you had fun 😀 And, I bet your friend was pleased 😀 You should ask for the % 😀

    WCSD – For me, at the moment, living with someone is just a no-no.
    I think, the best part of the relationship, is when you date, sleep over time to time, YET still have your own place :D. Perfection 😀

  57. sTacy, says:

    Madeline – sounds like a hot night and hot fun! Jealous!!

  58. Madeline says:

    Epic night the other night!
    Dunno if anyone remembers, but I asked for some input on how to make sure that my friend would get some sugar sprinkled on her if I brought her along for a 3 some with my current SD.
    In the end, he asked if I’d bring her out for dinner drinks. He was bringing his best friend.
    Halfway through dinner we’re all tipsy and having a great time. Lots of flirting all around the table.
    My SD suggests we get a presidential suite at (My favvvvvorite hotel in NYC. It’s where I imagine a modern day Marie Antoinette taking up house).
    We end up in a 6k per night hotel room, with trays of chocolate strawberries and bottles of vintage Moet being wheeled in by butlers.
    The sexy surroundings led to sexy fun. My friend and I, my guy and I, my guy and my friend, myself and my guy’s friend. It was amazing.
    Look for the Sds with deep pockets and a sense of adventure!

    Oh and in the end, my SDs friend left my friend with a thousand dollars and hopes to see her again.
    Not a bad start!

  59. WCSD says:

    @Treasured – I don’t think the idea was to move in with the SD, but the SD providing a place for her to live (closer to him). I completely agree with you, I couldn’t imagine living with a SB…if I’m living with them, they better be WAY more than a sugar baby to me.

  60. Lexxy says:

    Wooo, I found myself a real sugar daddy now! Just went to dinner. Great bottle of wine, 100$ cognac, and 1000$ and a bottle of scotch. He’s taking me to vegas too! Wooo! 3k every month, and the guy is interesting to talk to!

  61. Lo says:

    lol okay..with the blessing of other sugarbabies..I may need to participate in a little sugar infidelity

  62. Treasured says:

    @Lo – nobody needs to know, sweety. 😛

    @Frank – LOL! Sugarmummy 😀 Didn’t know PTs fall into the SB category. But a few more moves from him, and he might 😀

    @Bella – Lexxy raised valid points.
    But, moi, myself, would never move in with a SD. SD is a SD. And 1)it can change the whole dynamics, 2)what I can put up for max 2 weeks, doesn’t mean I am able to put up for every day, 3)I enjoy my independence too much 🙂

  63. myvelvetrope says:

    I had both my best and worst AD relationships with married men. I think it just feels on the person’s honesty with you and themselves about what they are doing.

    But I love this list. Very good advice.

  64. Bella says:

    Lo, me too! I’ve got some thinking to do too. Thanks for the advice everyone, I do plan on keeping my own place in the summer because I might take a summer class, plus my friends are here. However, it would be awkward to explain to people… There’s much thinking that needs to be done!

  65. Phoneguy says:

    Because he thinks it’s unreasonable to ask you to not have a boyfriend (having no emotional connection) but having another SD is just money to you. Either he is concerned about a conflict of time sharing, he doesn’t think you should need more money than what he gives you or he is actually jealous.

  66. Lo says:

    Thanks everyone who responded to my question with their honest opinions. And thanks Carrie for the interesting perspective from someone whose actually been the other person in this situation.

    He just emailed me and said that he doesn’t care if I have a boyfriend but he wants to be my only sugardaddy…uhhh….why? What do we think about this?

    The reason why I don’t want to give up my other SD is because he’s low maintenance and is also pretty generous for the hour or two we hang out…

  67. DorkyGuy says:

    Whare are you guys from that you call it a “flat”? The only place other than here that I hear that word is in TV and movies. I figure the person who came up with “flat” is also responsible for naming Starbuck’s coffee sizes.

  68. sTacy, says:

    You could have him get the flat, stay there when convenient, but keep your place too. That way you have the option to tell him to f&[email protected] off if he acts up.

  69. Tina says:

    @PhoneGuy: really? You have to ask that one? You should know better! 😛

  70. Phoneguy says:

    @lexxy, Can you come back is a valid question. The rest seems like you are making it overly complicated. Call some guy friends with an SUV, buy them pizza and beer. Bat your eye lashes. Done!
    How much stuff could you have? 😉

  71. Lexxy says:

    Danni: I have alot of expierence with married men (as I prefer to sugar date with them, less stress and time).
    Alot of the time they are looking for the package. They are looking for a beautiful, smart, sexy and sexual woman. Generally they are looking because they have lost the lust in their married life, or their wife is incapable of providing sexual release for him, or there is trouble in the home life or simply can’t leave due to kids.
    Yes, sex is important, but I have always found they are looking for a huge mental connection as well.

  72. danni says:

    I am about to enter into a SD/SB relation for the first time with a married man. To be honest I’m really unsure what to expect or what financial arrangement is reasonable without seeming like a typical gold digger. Is it all about sex? any advice?

  73. Lexxy says:

    Risk= time to move/ cost to move/ does she live with parents (how do you explain the move/move back if it goes sour), do you live with flatmates (explanation there?), if you live with flatmates/parents , are you able to come back?

  74. WCSD says:

    @Bella – Your question about the flat sounded like a temporary one (he wants you to live there for the summer). Assuming you keep your current living arrangement, and that your name is NOT on the lease (you are just an invited guest staying there) then there is really no risk. If he kicks you out, you just go back to your place you are in now and continue on. The question is if the move will interrupt your work/studies that you have (or planned for) and that the ‘kick out’ could interrupt.

  75. Carrie says:

    @Lo: “Can someone please help me with my current moral dilemma?”

    I was once the wife who found hubbie spending the night at another woman’s house. (Still, to this day I don’t think they were having an affair. Long story too long for blog reply.) I recall that after I went home and sat down… stunned and in shock… I made the decision that I would still consider remaining married to him (for financial reasons) but that he would NEVER again get any sex from me (which isn’t a stretch because we hadn’t had any in the previous two yrs… impotence). We did eventually divorce anyway.

    So… there are instances when I can very much imagine that a married man could want a SB and it is not against the wishes of the wife.

    On the other hand, if I were seeking a new boyfriend (with intent for possible future marriage) I would very much NOT want someone who had ever “cheated” on his wife. In the past I never dated a married man for that same reason… if he could leave her for me, he could leave me for someother-her.

    Lo:, I too am empathic, but my empathy is usually with the person in front of me telling me the story… not the other person in the story.

    Re: “… and [if] I’m spiteful towards his mistress”… I find it odd that two women would fight over a man in the middle. If I were one of the women (if a fight was in order) I would instead take issue with the man, since he’s the one who created the situation.

  76. ataraxia says:

    Married SD’s are easier to deal with.. they usually tend to give higher allowances and don’t require a lot of time which rocks if you have a life, go to school, and/or work.

  77. Lexxy says:

    Dorky guy is right. I forgot to say, this is your choice and your feelings, I can’t tell you how your morals should work, simply my view.

    @Bella, the problem with moving into a SD flat is that he can kick you out at any time. If you can somehow have a year “paid for”, or have a written statement (some higher end SD probably have lawyers who can do this and are discrete) that you are entitled to that for a year, that means you don’t have to worry about being kicked out, or being stuck with a bill. I would wait it out for a few months before you move in, so you know he isn’t going to take you for a ride

  78. DorkyGuy says:

    @Lo~ I am not a SB, and have never dated a married person (or cheated), so I’m not the best person to answer this for you. But here’s my gut reaction.

    If you instinctively know that you will be crossing a line that you can’t un-cross, and will have regrets, then no amount of money is worth that. And it would be a mistake to use somebody else’s moral rationalization to convince yourself that it’s ok, because in the morning, you are the one who has to look at yourself in the mirror.

    Personally (and this applies *only* to me), I could never ever ever date a married person. This is because of my experience being the one cheated on. I could not participate in doing that to another man, whether I was the one who made the vows or not.

  79. Bella says:

    Also what lexxy said lol.

    To all my sexy sweet sugar babes here, how do you feel about moving into a flat in your SD’s city that he of course pays for and he wouldn’t be living in with you? New pot SD suggested this when we met this week for over the course of the summer and it seems like it could be interesting. Thoughts?

  80. Lexxy says:

    Treasured: This is my moral take on married men. This is what I tell people when they ask me…
    It is not my moral dilmena or decision for me to make. It’s their choice, and wether it’s you, someone else or 4 misstresses or sugar babies, it’s going to happen. I don’t need to feel bad for someones moral choice. He took the vows, and this is his choice. Of course, everyone is different, but I have no feelings of wrong doing with married men.
    That being said, there are many perks : less time/more money, easy to keep him interested with texts/emails/picture messaging because they simply can’t meet all the time. In return you get more money for less time. I don’t know if youre in university , but this is amazing for me.
    I know at times I sound ruthless, but we’re all adults an we all know why we’re here.

  81. Bella says:

    I would meet with him and see what he tells you about his marriage. The SD I just met is married and I was apprehensive but when we met he explained the situation to me and it turns out his wife knows what he’s doing. Some men don’t feel comfortable explaining their martial situations through text or email.

  82. Lo says:

    oh and also that I would feel less trusting towards men

  83. Lo says:

    Can someone please help me with my current moral dilemma?

    I have a potential SD that is interested in me. He’s very discreet, sounds like it would be a no hassle arrangement, and he’s offering an allowance I am happy with. He’s also experienced and has had a SB for two years in the past. However…he’s married.

    This is why I don’t feel good about married men…

    I am a bit empathic. Like I try put myself in the wife’s shoes and I would feel devastated if I knew my husband was seeing women on the side.

    Karma. Like I’m committing a wrong deed and it’ll come back to bite me in the ass.

    If one day I get married–my husbands starts having an affair and I’m spiteful towards his mistress, I would feel like a hypocrite. Because once upon a time..I was a mistress too.

    I don’t like the lack of integrity a cheating man has.

    BUT I feel there are exceptions..like if the wife refuses to get a divorce, or she is sick and there is a silent understanding that he can get his physical needs met elsewhere, or she’s terrible to him..like verbally and emotionally abusive.


  84. Frank says:

    Treasure, you mean the Personal Trainer that you pay for. teehee, Treasure is a Sugar Momma

  85. sTacy, says:

    Dorky – unless he’s super kinky, or a complete ass. Typically, that’s the reason behind sugar dating if a guy is hot.

  86. DorkyGuy says:

    lol, the blog has discussed the “hot guy discount” before. If the guy is hot, and has plenty of female attention, he has a lot less incentive to do sugar.

  87. Treasured says:

    Beach – for the most SDs that is true.

    But, some are different. They want the whole bloody package! 😀 Preferably, for the same price 😀


  88. Treasured says:

    Great. My personal trainer started hitting on me. Not amused!

  89. Beach_Girl says:

    I think it’s different for SDs, for them it’s more about the looks, youth, sex, having arm candy, being the white knight…sure, she needs to be able to hold up a conversation, but I’m sure some SDs really don’t care… I don’t think everyone is like that, but some are. I have met a few 😀

  90. sTacy, says:

    Chemistry is so mental. For me it isn’t about the looks, so physical appearance (within parameters of course) isn’t as important.

  91. Treasured says:

    Age difference for a SD – 30 max. I had once a date, with a man, older that that, and…. No way I could end up in bed with him!

    Real life relationship… It has changed. Up to 15. Max! 5-10 would work better. Simply because, I have an experience and know what I’m talking about.

    For SDs looks… I wish I could say that I choose the guys with the looks, like on the picture. But, no. Look wise, at the moment, it is below average. I am looking for an upgrade though 😀

    Hmmm… Thinking about it. I am not too bothered by looks. Neither in real life, or SD. Of course, in real life, I am much more picky, but, I can enjoy a company of the person, not depending on his looks. Personality is much more important. Long term 🙂

  92. Beach_Girl says:

    GenuineSD~ Yes, please do. I have tried mailing you but it didn’t work 🙁

    I think you need to have a spark with your SD, It’s important to have chemistry, communication etc… Beauty isn’t on the outside, Yes, it helps, but it doesn’t last!

  93. GenuineSD says:

    @Beach. 🙁 I’ll try again.
    @ Tina, I agree with you. Attraction is more complex…
    Question to the SDs: do you worry that you’re just being tolerated for the allowance/gifts ?
    Does it matter? If your SB let slip that she really didn’t find you desirable would it matter to the arrangement ?
    E.g “I’m sure you were quite attractive when you were younger…”

  94. sTacy, says:

    I will say, I’m VERY attracted to the Monday morning presents I’ve now started receiving – Nordstrom Mac Counter gift cards? Thank you! Girls weekend in San Diego with my two besties – amazing! Generosity is VERY sexy!!!

  95. Bella says:

    My one SD is attractive, lean athletic body. Sometimes you get lucky!

  96. Tina says:

    It’s sometimes amazing how the physical attraction will manifest itself the more you’re around the person. Attraction is more complicated than just admiring his, uh, “shoe” size or flat stomach.

  97. Lo says:

    LMAAAOOO stacy

  98. sTacy, says:

    At Lexxy – no, typically we don’t find them physically attractive, unless you dig saggy moobs (man boobs). Just as they, typically, don’t find their babies particularly interesting to talk to.

  99. Lo says:

    hahahaha touche Dorky

  100. DorkyGuy says:

    Yeah, I don’t know how Ashton put up with it!

  101. Lo says:

    twenty years difference..ugh I need coffee

  102. Lo says:

    agreed Lexy, realistically speaking twenty years old might be okay for novelty and sugar, but not for the long term. Five to ten feels much better for a serious relationship.

  103. Frank says:

    I am an older Daddy myself, I am always asked how old is my granddaughter. (she is 7) I always laugh and say she is my great grand daughter. I hope she doesn’t get traumatized by it. We are a more active family than many younger families I know, and I am a much more understanding and giving daddy than I could ever have been in my 20’s/30’s.

  104. Lexxy says:

    @WCSD, you are completely right, but it sits in the back of my head, don’t know why.

  105. WCSD says:

    @Lexxy – Definitely one thing I’ve come to appreciate is that there is no time limit on life. Some will live to 95, some will live to 35. We just don’t know. There is no point stressing over it, just enjoy it while you can.

  106. twiceshy says:

    @Lexxy “I have a SD…He’s outside the race I normally would date, or even look at, but we have a decent connection, with an even better allowance. He’s not buttugly, but he’s no sexy man up in that pic there.”

    So A decent connection, and an even better allowance.
    Tell me more about the race you would normally date…


  107. Lexxy says:

    I am adopted, at 22, my parents are 61/62. I love them no matter what, I just feel that my life is so different then a lot of the younger parents. My parents are both retired (Which has its ups and downs)…I guess my immense fear is that I don’t get to spend as much time with them as some other kids do.

  108. WCSD says:

    @Lexxy – My dad was 40 when he had me (which isn’t a big deal in today’s society), but I never felt that he was ‘old’ compared to the other dad’s. Now maybe because my mother is 12 years younger than him, that it kept him young. But in my opinion, someone in their mid 40’s having kids isn’t a big deal. Now whether some in their mid 40’s wants to have kids is a different story…

  109. Lexxy says:

    Phoneguy: I just broke up with my boyfriend he was 42, (I am 22, and there was no sugar). I genuinely loved him, and am completely heartbroken over the break up, but it comes down to the fact, I want a family someday and I don’t want my kid to be at their high school graduation and someone says to them “oh that’s so nice your grandpa came”…and then have to say ” no , that’s my dad”.
    That being said, to answer your question. I prefer around a 5 year age gap, and at the moment, probably would seriously date someone up around 32/33…so 10 years for real life, 25 years for sugar.

  110. Phoneguy says:

    but What planet are you living on that I could take you home.
    Lexxy (and any other SBs),
    So what is the greatest age gap where you would be willing to take him home? Curious.

  111. Lexxy says:

    Speaking of the image and how good that man looks (drool, excuse me).
    I have a question that’s been on my mind for some time.
    I have a SD…He’s outside the race I normally would date, or even look at, but we have a decent connection, with an even better allowance. He’s not buttugly, but he’s no sexy man up in that pic there. SB’s: what do your SD look like? Are they considered handsome? Are they slightly overweight but you put your big girl pants on for allowance or the fact you have chemistry?
    I am deciding if I should hold out for someone I am physically attracted to, or if the mental chemistry is enough.
    Since SD reach out for mostly beautiful girls, I am wondering the SB side.

  112. WCSD says:

    @Dorky – twist away with the knife. And hey, I’m not against finding out things that I can find, and I also mentioned that I don’t want someone hiding something if asked or relevant to the conversation. My point is I wouldn’t expect (and never will) someone to lead a conversation with “I’ve fucked X people in my lifetime, some were one nighters, longest was Y, have cheated Z times, but this is the reason…”. Would I find out some of that in casual conversation? Sure. Do I have a checklist that needs to all be ‘checked off’ before I’ll enter a relationship? Not at all.

  113. Treasured says:

    LOL at lexxy!

    Stupid? Isn’t it? What kind of life they are imagining?? And, what I’m prepared to handle for a few days/holiday, won’t really work long time.

  114. lexxy says:

    I love married men. I don’t know how I would sugar date If he was single. I barely have enough Time as it is and with them being married, all I have to do to make sure they stay put is text and meet 2/3 a month.
    On the downfall, my semi SD (no allowance but dinners, and gifts), hates his wife, and is starting to make statements toward us “being together “….where do these guys come up with this? 20+ year older, children, etc. It’s like I like you, I really do, but What planet are you living on that I could take you home.

    Ps:where are all the hot sd at. They all seem to be fakes on here . Tin eye is becoming my number one page after SA

  115. DorkyGuy says:

    The criminals don’t scare me as much as the crazies. I met one girl who announced on the second date that she has actual diagnosed multiple personality disorder, but I would probably enjoy her alternate personality better because the sex was better. Who wants the hassle of a girl being mad at you for calling her the wrong name, when all you did was confuse her personalities?

  116. Frank says:

    Gal is in Roanoke, but she says she just got here from California, Is Alcatraz in California?

    Yeah drugs, assault, driving without a license, they all go together.

  117. Beach_Girl says:

    GenuineSD ~ How have you been? I tried mailing you but… I’m at the same email.

  118. Phoneguy says:

    We both wanted a relationship right from the start. Her profile seemed kind of generic. I don’t think she seriously thought she would find anyone. Mine was very clear that I had no interest in NSA or sharing. I was sick of dating SBs who supposedly didn’t have boyfriends, only to find out eventually that they each had a boyfriend. She received many interesting offers here. 😉 She was very skeptical that I was really after what I said I was. I was a little skeptical until she closed her profile after the second or third date. Now I giggle whenever anyone asks where we met. 😉

  119. Treasured says:

    Dorky, you are full of surprises 😉

  120. DorkyGuy says:

    @Genuine and Frank, send those gals on to WCSD, since the past doesn’t matter!

    @WCSD~ lol, sorry… sometimes, I just can’t help but to twist the knife 😉

  121. GenuineSD says:

    @Phoneguy: Congratulations! It warms the hearts of us romantics to hear your good news.

    @ Frank. I’ve had two of those so far on this site… in fact that rap-sheet looks vaguely familiar ! LOL

    @Beach_Girl Hey you !

  122. EllenSugarB says:

    Frank, was this person in Virginia?

  123. DorkyGuy says:

    SA should change their advertisments. I can amagine an eHarmony style TV spot where they say “over x couples have found their soulmate on SeekingArrangement.Com”.

  124. Treasured says:

    A question to the Phoneguy.

    Can you please, explain to me, what makes your GF your GF and not a SB. How did a transition happened, or were you both looking for a relationship right from the start?

  125. Treasured says:

    @Phoneguy – Good for you 😀

    We all know, that things beyond Sugardating are possible on here. But, Sugardating is a primal focus on this website, and, a lot of people mix it up with something else. Hence I get a lot of emails, such as “I am looking for love, can you relocate?”
    But, happy for you. JUST, dear SDs, don’t make a habit out of it 😀

    @Ellen – good points. I think, the main thing, with dating a married man is: never ever fall in love. If you feel, that you start to develop feelings – run. No amount of sugar will compensate for a broken heart and a few miserable months.

    @Profile picture. LADIES, it does not show you a SD. It shows what ELSE you can have, if you do date a married one!

    @Frank – You clearly are getting more experienced in a SD. You “white knight” syndrome hasn’t kicked in yet 😀

  126. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!

    Frank~ wow, I am guessing the prison cafeteria will be your first date lol.. That is crazy. I actually googled myself and found one thing, my work with the city lol…

  127. Bella says:

    Stacy, he’s not lying, all the women in his life are in the know.

    However, for future endeavors, I will be holding my cards close lol. If it’s not necessary to know, I won’t tell.

  128. Lo says:

    Stacy I’ve been wanting to say the same thing hahahaha seriously these blog photos show guys who could easily be calvin klein models. Where do we find these SDs??? LOL

  129. Frank says:

    Had contact with a potential SB, she gave me her email address, I goggled it, nothing came up, she later emailed me, and her first and last name appeared. I goggled that and here is what showed up, along with a mug shot that could have been her older sister (compared to the one she posted on her profile)


    Umm, what an interesting life she must lead. Where do you suggest I take her for our first date?

  130. Frank says:

    sTacy, says: I’m just wondering who has an SD that looks like THAT photo?

    My SB has a SD that looks like that. And one of these days I’m going to meet him. lol

  131. sTacy, says:

    Bella, why be honest with him? He lies to everyone in his life, why does he deserve the truth from you?

  132. Bella says:

    I told him it was casual, that we aren’t even dating, but alas he doesn’t like it. We’ll see how this arrangement turns out. He’s given me some warning signs so I’ve not put all of my eggs in one basket. One must be prepared for anything lol.

  133. sTacy, says:

    I’m just wondering who has an SD that looks like THAT photo? Lol

  134. EllenSugarB says:

    I don’t doubt you at all, Phoneguy. I have a few happy couples in my circle of friends who met on this site.

    Bella, of course they want you all to themselves – nobody really wants to share, do they? I think it’s just as inappropriate to talk about guys who you are interested in as it is for them to talk about their spouse. I wouldn’t volunteer it unless the SD asks, because he probably just doesn’t want to hear about it. If they ask, be honest. Say, “It’s casual, but yes, I am dating.” It’s healthy for you to continue to be social with so-called normal, non-sugar, men.

    Personally, the moment I started to have serious feelings for a guy I was dating, or if we had sex, I HAD to cut it off with the SD. Some people can manage the two relationships, but I can’t. The IRL relationship always took priority. Just as his marriage always took priority. It goes both ways.

  135. Bella says:

    Ellen, I definitely agree with your 4th point. Too bad some married SDs want you all to themselves yet they have other SBs plus you and their spouse…I hate double standards. How do you deal with this?

  136. Phoneguy says:

    And my GF has a friend who met her husband on SA.

    The truth is out there…

  137. EllenSugarB says:

    Yay Phoneguy has a girlfriend!!!!! I love happy stories 🙂

  138. EllenSugarB says:

    4. Keep dating single men while you have a married SD. I don’t mean sleep around with a bunch of people, but do keep making male friends and be social with them during the course of your married sugar relationship. Keep your options open and don’t put your eggs in one basket – especially a basket with a hole in the bottom such as the Married SD basket. Then, when you find a single guy who you really like, dump the married SD. After all, your needs do come before his.

  139. Phoneguy says:

    >Married man is a security that he won’t stalk you, won’t demand a relationship, >won’t want more, will NOT want you to spend holidays with him, etc. etc. etc.
    Who wants to be alone during the holidays?! Yuck. 😉

    As long as She Who Must Not Be Named is still trolling these boards, this is as good a time as any to post this: I wanted to let her (and anyone else who cares or is interested) know that I found a girlfriend on here about a month and a half ago. To all those who say “wrong website” or “you can’t find that here”, I say you can find anything you want on SA. That’s what makes this place great. Be honest, state what you want and look for like-minded people. There are all kinds here. My GF (not SB!) and I are incredibly happy. Good luck to everyone finding what they are looking for.

  140. EllenSugarB says:

    Sugar Daddies: what other rules or advice for dating married men would you add?

    1. Remember that he will NEVER be able to give you the love that you want/need. (From my skilled therapist.)

    2. When he talks about how miserable he is in his marriage and how he wants to leave his wife, tell him that it’s inappropriate for you to be talking about his marriage and it’s taking away from the experience between you two. He is looking for an escape, and it’s impossible to “escape” if he talks about it with you.

    3. When he continues to tell you that he wants to leave his wife, say “I don’t want to be a part of the separation process. If you’re really serious, then call me when you’ve done it and we can start ‘real’ dating.” Then dump him. lol

  141. EllenSugarB says:

    Informative article. Now, when is Jenn going to flip it and write an article for the married SD “How to Sugar Date as a Married Man.” ?

    hahaha … I have some ideas …

  142. Treasured says:

    First 😛

    Yes, Most of my SDs were/are married 😀
    Works best for me 😀

    No drama, keeps reality in check and helps Sugar arrangements stay exactly as they are!

    And. Damn. Topic picture makes me horny!

  143. JennSA says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!