7 years ago
15 Lessons from 50 Shades for the Sugar Baby Lifestyle


After re-reading Fifty Shades of Grey last week, I decided to have a chat about it with a couple of my girlfriends (over wine of course). The surprised looks and some arguments after hearing that Anastasia Steele was essentially a Sugar Baby caught me off-guard. It seems that many people, women especially, didn’t draw the connection. Sometimes, I forget how those who aren’t exposed to the lifestyle may not see what I think are blatant signs of Sugar.

But, for those of you who are…I’ve prepared a three-part blog series on the 15 (50 is a little overkill) lessons that can be derived from Fifty Shades of Grey.

1.Start Out Innocent One

Let’s be honest here, sexual appeal is part of the Sugar Baby package. That certain ‘je ne sais quoi’. But take a lesson from the book of Audrey Hepburn, not Marilyn, and remember that perception is key if you want to leave your potential Sugar Daddy begging for more.

2. Try New Food

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they eat. Start small, like Anastasia did by meeting Christian Grey and having coffee (which he hated). An unwillingness to try new food, or activities for that matter, waves a red flag indicating relations could go stale awfully quick.

3. Negotiate Confidently

Unease is a sign of weakness. Remember that all successful men and inevitably business men in a sense. And what do they do best? Negotiate. The key is establishing a check and balance. If you want more money, then you may have to give up more time or be open to travel. And vice versa.

4. Take a Break from Sugar

There are two instances in a Sugar Lifetime this should be done. Once, after several Sugar Daddies, to ensure you don’t develop a dependency. Even the most disciplined Sugar Baby risks falling into temptation. The second is during any long-term arrangement somewhere past the one year mark. Be sure to let your Sugar Daddy know that you will be unplugging or taking it easy for that amount of time. Hash out terms in order to avoid any grey areas. It will refresh both of you and that once familiar Sugar will be as sweet as when newly opened.

5. Do Your Research

Surprisingly, a lot of Sugar Daddies will actually give you their name. Or at least some way to verify them. Read up on your Potential Sugar Daddy both in public record, business reviews, and other Sugar Baby blogs. That way you are 100% sure of who you are dating.

Knowing makes the leap easier. Now that you know, try out these lessons with a potential Sugar Daddy.

What are other things Sugar Babies and Sugar Daddies can learn from Fifty Shades?

Have you had a Fifty Shades type arrangement?

Leave a Reply

25 Responses to “15 Lessons from 50 Shades for the Sugar Baby Lifestyle”

  1. SBinSD says:


    I agree with Sugary, however, if that is something you truly desire it is easily obtainable. Make it known and if any SB can not adhere to this simple request they are not right for you or any SD.

  2. SugarySpicey says:

    Tarheel – those of us who are big texters consider those conversations equivalent to a “real conversation” I’d rather someone called if they needed to cancel, but in the new netiquette text and voice to voice are judged equal when it comes to “logistics” conversations, I.e., canceling a date.

  3. DarkHorseSD says:

    Hi Tarheel:

    Yes, you are completely right about it, but I bet you won’t like the rest of their etiquette either, so you will just have to work harder to find the rare one that fits…or travel, or import, or offer more.

  4. Alana says:

    50 shades is so 2012… nothing to new to talk about, huh?

  5. SouthernSB says:

    @FB figures, the good ones are always taken. 🙁

  6. FatBastardSD says:


    An interesting guy. I did enjoy his “Perverts Guide to Cinema” as well. From what I remember he is married to a model from Argentina.

  7. SouthernSB says:

    @Fat Bastard OMG!!! You found him for me!! You found my Sheldon!!! I think I’m in love with Slavoj Zizek!! He’s perfect!! All intellect!! There is nothing sexier than a smart man!!

  8. Treasured says:

    Food for thoughts:

    Apparently among the prisoners of the Guantanamo bay, 50 shades tops the book list, surpassing even the Koran.

    I guess after loosing their freedom some people change their view about the God. And start dreaming about the kinky sex instead.

    Aloha all from Hawaii 😀

    As always:
    Sincerely yours,
    A very very spoiled girl 😀

  9. FatBastardSD says:


    “.. Isn’t that what love is?”


    The best definition of love I have ever heard :-).

  10. lil_tm says:

    Oh and HI EVERYONE! 😀

  11. lil_tm says:

    “In book two he has to be “cured” of his desires in order for Anastasia Steele to deign to be with him. I had hoped the book would be kink friendly, but it’s just as judgemental as most vanilla romances, but with a couple hot spanking scenes.”

    On the other hand, it can be viewed as an example of how someone who cannot imagine a lifestyle other than the one they are involved in, making particular changes to suit the one they adore if need be.

    He didn’t have to give it up all, it just required some compromise. Isn’t that what love is? Being unselfish enough to make some sacrifices for the person you are in a relationship with so that things go smoothly?

    I understand he is supposed to be the Dom, but from what I have seen(and correct my if I’m wrong because my experience is very limited in this department), but the sub pretty much calls the shots on what is and is not allowed in the bedroom…er…dungeon.

    I also think if the book was too extreme, it wouldn’t have sold so well because most people can handle a little kink but cannot get into the real hard core stuff.

    It caters to housewives. Women who want to be thrown against the wall and fucked and spanked and roughed up but couldn’t handle the real deal kink. And the element of cheesy best selling romance is thrown in by his willingness to do whatever it takes to make her happy. Stay at home moms eat that shit up, imo.
    It caters to the masses and therefore brings in the $.

  12. Noob_SD says:

    I concord with Sugary, Noob. That g-string is not cutting it …

    Well I don’t concord with you …. traffic seems to be picking up …. Time to change …

  13. SugarySpicey says:

    I keep hearing so much about the Ann Rice Sleeping Beauty Trilogy that I’m feeling like, as a writer of erotica, I can no longer dismiss it. Guess I’ll be making an Amazon purchase today.

  14. SouthernSB says:

    I didn’t read 50 Shades, but from what I have heard about it, Ann Rice did it better with her Sleeping Beauty Trilogy which I read when I in my late 20’s.

  15. Tarheel says:

    Since there seems to be a lull in the conversation, I will bring up a topic that is on my mind of late.

    I am a sixty-something gentleman and most of the SB candidates in my area are in their 20’s. In many ways, that’s great. But what I’m finding is a gap in etiquette or courtesy.

    For example, some SB’s want to communicate only by text. I know how to text, but consider it a poor substitute for a real conversation. Especially, I consider breaking a date via text to be poor form.

    Am I just being an old fart?

  16. sweetie says:

    I concord with Sugary, Noob. That g-string is not cutting it… Oh, and the 50 shades… oh, when will people stop talking about that?! C’mon, what a bore!

  17. Noob_SD says:

    Can’t be spicey … the G string was the best thing that happened to the blog … 🙂

    How’s the sugar bowl treating you?

  18. SugarySpicey says:

    Noob, I blame your G String.

  19. Noob_SD says:

    Wow … blog comments running dry … In a way I am sorry to see it like this. This was a great forum for exchange of thoughts and some heated but intelligent conversation.

    Hope everyone is doing well.

  20. SugarySpicey says:

    And! Why does she have to be a virgin? It’s only love if he’s the first man to ignite your loins and get you to say yes to a butt plug and deep throating underwater in the bathtub? Yeah right! Nobody goes from prude to crude in a single pound!

  21. SugarySpicey says:

    SugardaddyinChi – my annoyance with 50 Shades is how kink shaming it is. The main character was open about his BDSM preferences, chose consensual partners, used and followed safewords, and offered appropriate aftercare – but he is continuously labeled, judged, and shamed by the author and the female protagonist. In book two he has to be “cured” of his desires in order for Anastasia Steele to deign to be with him. I had hoped the book would be kink friendly, but it’s just as judgemental as most vanilla romances, but with a couple hot spanking scenes.

  22. I read the first 100 pages. Felt obligated. But I kept having this puh-leeze reaction.

    Really? The guy flies a helicopter and is a 20 something billionaire that requires an NDA before BDSM sex. Really.

    I am a pilot, and I have done the BDSM thing. This guy could not pass a driver’s exam. Awfully vanilla for a BDSM thing, too. But I will grant… it might get kinky in another 50 pages or so.

  23. GenuineSD says:

    First ? Really ?
    Great suggestion all. I have taken several breaks from Sugar and always come back with a reffreshed attitude.

  24. Angela says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog…