7 years ago
How to Negotiate with A Sugar Daddy


Chances are, if you were interested in becoming a Sugar Baby, the financial part of an arrangement is important. Money is a necessary element for most arrangements, however, that doesn’t mean it is always sufficient. So how does a struggling SB approach an SD about her financial needs with out coming off as a whiny gold digger? Here are a few different approaches to negotiation:

Step One: Shop Around

There may be fourteen potential Sugar Babies for every Sugar Daddy, but that doesn’t mean a girl doesn’t have options. Play the field, and shop around. But don’t be secretive about it. Make it clear that you have met with other potential SDs, all of whom were interested in and financially able to handle the kind of arrangement you are looking for.

Step Two: Ask Him 

It doesn’t hurt to be honest, how will he know that you need help if you don’t ask? But there is a difference between expecting the world to fall at your feet, and working towards something. Every arrangement should be mutually beneficial in nature, so don’t expect something for nothing. All Sugar Babies should be bringing something to the table. But if you can’t pay rent, or you’re falling behind in loans, he is more likely to be open to your needs than if you just want some new shoes.

How do you negotiate an allowance? 

When do you think it’s appropriate to do so? 



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418 Responses to “How to Negotiate with A Sugar Daddy”

  1. Jazzysb says:

    Hello everyone. I have been following the blogs for a few weeks and I have to say they are very imformative. More so the comments than the actual posts! I need some advice please. Sorry if this gets a little long.

    Yes, I am new to the sugarbowl. I have three POTs that I am currently being persued by. POT #1 messaged me after sending his profile to my favs list. Both our profiles have the 1K-3K budget listed. We met last week and we had pretty good chemistry. He is married which works great because I am too. He talked non-stop about longing for care, compassion, love and connection. By the end of the night he told me he was excited and he feels connected to me on a deep level. He said I was “the one” and that he thinks one day he could love me. This all seemed a little too deep for me but I thought that I could give this sweet guy what he needs if the arrangement is good. He also mentioned that he wants his married life to stay the same, which is exactly what I want. I didn’t bring up the arrangement on the first date, I didn’t want it to feel transactional and most everything I’ve read seems to advise waiting for the second date. I did however ask him the frequency of visits he was wanting.

    Last night was our second date. He told me he is falling for me and that we have something special. NO MENTION OF THE ARRANGEMENT. I feel like this may be a sensitive topic for him. Is it normal for an arrangement not to have been made yet? Next week will be our third date and if he doesn’t bring it up I’m going to have to ask him. HELP! How can I ask him for an allowance without making him feel like I don’t value his feelings? I’m worried that he somehow thinks that we will be in a regular relationship (we met on SA). BTW no intimacy has occured other than kissing. Honesty appreciated.

  2. I guess I’m confused about how any arrangement can be no-strings-attached, with money changing hands. That’s a string, isn’t it? Also, if SDs are offering financial security to the situation, how do they expect to be repaid? With other people’s emotional vulnerability?

  3. Londonbabe says:

    @southernbelle you did ‘the deed’ and he paid you and he didn’t call again are you suprised? Hardly sounds like a beautiful night out with any real connection

  4. kas says:

    Hi everyone. I’m new to the site and I need your help. Can someone give me some tips of what to write on my profile. Thank you <3

  5. tathi says:

    Thank you guys , I’m new in this and just wanna make sure I’m doing it in the right way ,don’t want to have a bad experience .
    This PSD also toll me if I want the money in check or direct deposit . But I don’t know which one will be safer?

  6. Zack says:

    Try to get an understanding about the agreement before accepting payment; otherwise people can get disappointed, particularly newbies.

    Get that understanding by talking about real, solid reasons and things important to you personally, when that does not seem “pushy.” What, why, how much….and that you really are trying to make that happen.

    Good luck.

  7. Richard says:

    Tathi – Then I would make sure you wait until the 15th and your first payment before allowing any intimacy. No legitimate SD should argue with that. I’ve paid for half a month up front and then decided not to get intimate with a potential SB…just because I didn’t see the possibility of a long-term arrangement once we got to know each other better. But I’m told that is abnormal behavior. 🙂

  8. tathi says:

    How to secure
    How to know if the PSD IT’S going to pay for sure your allowance if it’s monthly … ? Have an offer from a sd and toll me he will give me an allowance every 15ht and 30ht of each month ! Any suggestions? For me to be sure he’s going to do it.

  9. flyr says:

    More profile thoughts

    Spelling and grammar errors are like going to an interview with spinach on your teeth. Most of us do our inspired profile writing in the dark of the night and perhaps after a glass or two of wine. BEWARE …. do the text sections in word or wp and run both spelling and grammar checks in the light of day before posting to the profile.

    I second the earlier comment about keeping it classy, the objective is the have the SD want you not just for the moment to be another trophy, but as a long term friend in a relationship that’s beneficial and fun for you.

    From the SD side of the fence, finding a new SB requires time and dealing with the process. Try to make it better for both by helping unsuitable SDs know they are chasing the pursuing a loosing cause but don’t discourage desirable SD’s by making demands inconsistent with your expectations and requirements.

    One of our temporarily absent SB’s commented that one of her prior SD’s demanded that she wear clothing that exposed more of her abundant assets than she felt comfortable with. A line in the profile that you are and insist on being a very professional lady in public but you will leave a worthwhile SD looking for his vitamins in private is somebody’s perfect cup of tea. The last thing I want is to be in a restaurant with a woman who is 20 years younger and trying to imitate Lindsay or Paris.

    I think mentioning or showing visible tattoos in the profile is a good idea.

    Chances are that you are looking at a SD who is older than you are. Tailor the language to the audience but preserve the enthusiasm and energy.

    Avoid the negatives. If you have struggled, been abandoned etc be proud that you have been on your own and make it a positive. “I have been abused by many men” is not an attractive pitch.

    Think of a package on the supermarket shelf inside WonderWoman you . Your marketing guru has told you that you only get one picture 9 words to describe the contents. You’ll do a tie in ad campaign where you can use 100 words and three pictures on a full page.

    BMW got in a lot of trouble for their used car ad but it got lots of attention

    Apologies for the rambling thoughts , too many calls, one final thought is about pictures. Unless it is a very special place I would avoid pictures taken in hotel rooms as they can have a little too commercial feeling.

  10. sweetie says:

    Exotic, I’ll have Beach pass you my email. As far as Toronto, I’ll go almost anywhere. Finances though…

  11. Exotic SB says:

    @Zack ~ To be honest – I don’t have anyone’s contact but Beach Girl! I just have a lonely list ‘o names over here…lol

  12. Beach_Girl says:

    Zack if you want to send your email to someone, you can mail me at MissMontreal1 at g mail

  13. Beach_Girl says:

    Richard~ No, they can’t close, I haven’t gotten the first pair yet… i wish I could get a pair before, if the close!!! I love them, a lot of their looks do look better than Louboutin.

    ExoticSB~ It would be awesome to go to FL, but i could do Toronto 😀

    Sweetie~ Hi 😀

  14. Zack says:

    Ty, if you have difficulty obtaining my email, I’ll figure out how to get it to you 🙂

  15. Exotic SB says:

    I will add you to the infamous list Zack lol!

  16. Zack says:

    Yes, a (small, casual) meet this month in FL is actually likely. The details seem to be working out slowly, mostly in isolation, but truly through a SD indicated earlier.

    Yes, Toronto would be nice, too, but first things first…..Sunshine and Warm 🙂

  17. onyx_percula says:

    @ gtt_envy — CONGRATS! Now you just go with the flow and see where this new arrangement/relationship goes. Be honest and communicate with her.

  18. Exotic SB says:

    ….Anyone else interested? What do you think about Toronto? Florida?..in the new year?!

  19. Exotic SB says:

    @Sweetie – would you be willing to come to Toronto?? Or maybe we can look into the new year and all come to Florida?! What do you think about this Beach?

  20. sweetie says:

    And me, Exotic. Meet-up in Florida, maybe Orlando. I haven’t heard any news lately. Genuine was trying to coordinate everybody.

  21. Exotic SB says:

    Don Amore
    This is who was interested in a Sugar Blog Meetup..but we weren’t specifying anything about Canada at that time 😛

  22. Exotic SB says:

    @Beach – I wish it was summer and we could do the blog meet in Toronto again!! Maybe we can plan it for Springtime – if anyone is willing to come to Canada?!

  23. Richard says:

    Beach Girl – My favorite shoe designer! I wondered if they were Lorenzi. Some of his designs make Louboutin look bland. Unfortunately I think they are reorganizing under bankruptcy at the moment, very hard to get in the US. Had to import the last few pairs I bought for someone.

    What’s a sugar blog meet?

  24. KatPaw says:

    It was 35 here when I woke up I was ready to cry… Time to start dragging out winter stuff 🙁

  25. Beach_Girl says:

    Studio~ yep, move on to someone that is better, won’t be too hard I would think, from what you said here.

    Richard~ GianMarco Lorenzi is the designer, LOVE those shoes … :p

    Sweetie~ Hope the exams went well and you passed them all. The weather is getting cold unfortunately… 🙁 I need a sunny vacation 😀

    So is the sugar blog meet happening?

  26. Richard says:

    Beach Girl – Your avatar is the second sexiest one here…wish I could see it larger and maybe figure out the designer. 🙂

    Lexxy – You’re missing the point. When we say tell a SD what you’re going to do for them in your profile, we’re not suggesting sexual innuendo or borderline escort promises, or at least that’s not what I meant. (Personally, that would be a turnoff.) Instead, we mean how will you satisfy him in other ways? Make his life more enjoyable? I think sincere SDs are not here primarily to find sex, that’s easy to get a number of other ways for less cost and complication.

    I know it’s not always clear what makes a man happy outside of the bedroom, but generally we’re not that complicated!

  27. sweetie says:

    @Studio – Well, you gave her a second chance, she blew it, end of it. Good for you to move on to the next. “Ain’t nobody got time for that.”

    BG, I’m doing ok. Finally done with exams. It’s getting chilly in my part of Fl. How about you? Cold up there?

  28. studio says:

    you know sweetie I was genuinely shocked. She had been responsive and communicative for all the time we chatted, we actually got on well. Excuse was that phone ran out of battery and train was delayed back from college and so had no way of getting in touch until she could get home and charge her phone.

    She still wanted to meet that night, begged me to wait until she could get into town, couldn’t apologise enough and apologised for days and days to me, sending pics of her holding up signs saying sorry and that kind of thing.

    I finally relented and said I would give her one more chance and then the day before we were due to meet asked for my financial help.

    Pfff….. waste of time, deleted from my phone and blocked in all forms of communication. Better things to do with my life than hang around stressful demanding people.

  29. Beach_Girl says:

    Hey Sweetie! how are you doing?

  30. sweetie says:

    Hello Beach!

  31. sweetie says:

    Studio “Lesson learned – even after 2 weeks of comms and calls people can still surprise you. I was foolish enough to think my erudite charm, rugged good looks and offer of the moon on a stick would’ve ensured her arrival.”

    Erudite charm, rugged good looks, the moon on a stick plus 2 weeks of communication and calls and she didn’t show up? I call that flakey, how did you not see that coming?

  32. KatPaw says:

    Good advice given to me on here write it in word and read, re read, touch up come back go over again.. Till you are happy with it. Then look at it and put yourself in the SD’s shoes… Does the profile spark curiosity…

  33. Beach_Girl says:

    ExoticSB~ hey girl, how are you?

    Richard~ I think arrangements have strings, maybe not in the normal way… but some strings , yes.

  34. gtt_envy says:

    @onyx, it seems we both have found someone we are head over heels for!! A great two days in Atlanta and I’m more smitten than before.

    Kissing is such a art and she is so forceful yet succulent I find myself wondering how is she so good at this at 21. By far the best intimate experience I’ve had with any SB and borderline as good as anything in real life. So wet, so soft, forceful, aggressive, gentle when need be, sexual dynamo.

    Now what do I do? I know don’t get hooked…………. 😉 truly great times!

  35. Lexxy says:


  36. Lexxy says:

    Thanks a lot Kat!! I’ll be sure to add that I’m gonna give my profile a complete today

  37. Lexxy says:

    @Richard good point, no offense taken I’m just here to learn. I don’t wanna seem easy or generic. I feel like there is a fine line between a SA profile being a SB job application and a escort trashy craigslist ad.

  38. KatPaw says:

    Lexxy stress that you will bring a stress free excitement into their lives! A mutually beneficial adventure together… Spontaneous and ready to enhance your travel and outdoor adventure.. Ect… Like I said it’s all wording..

  39. Richard says:

    Lexxy – No offense, but that could describe half of the 20 year olds in the civilized world. What makes you different and what will a potential SD get out of a relationship with you he can’t elsewhere?

    Also, I hate the term “NSA” since by definition an arrangement has strings. And it seems to mean different things to different people. Do you mean you want to be free to date (and be sexually intimate) with others while you’re in an arrangement? That’s something you should discuss later on, not in your profile.

  40. studio says:

    The best profiles always say what you give, not what you want. If I see a profile that rattles on about what a princess you are and how much you want to be spoiled I go onto the next one straight away, no matter how hot you are.

    The profiles that get messages from me are always the ones that tell me what you can offer me. My profile focuses on exactly this, what will you get if you be my SB, how will I improve your life.

  41. Lexxy says:

    Thanks Guys you all have great points!!

    Here’s a little bit about me. Im 20 years old and tired of dating little immature boys my age that does not have anything to bring to the table thats why I signed up for SA. I am again looking for a nsa arrangement I want my 20 somethings era to be stress free and filled with excitement and fun with financial security. I’m easy going, open-minded, can be spontaneous, love the outdoors and traveling.

    My Ultimate SD: a financially secure respectful man who is adventurous and wants the same thing I do (nsa fun). Loves to travel, loves dining out in fine restaurants, generous, and all around gentleman.

  42. Exotic SB says:

    @Beach ~ Hi Sugar!!!

  43. Richard says:

    Lexxy – You are making the same mistake as the vast majority of SBs: your profile is completely generic and doesn’t stand out. What makes you special and different from all the other women here? Which of your qualities will attract the type of man you are seeking? Does your nose crinkle when you laugh in an endearing way? Do you have a fondness for the Three Stooges or prefer South Park? Do you like to write limericks or short stories set in Victorian England?

    Almost everyone “likes to try new things” or says they do. Instead, say “I want to try skydiving naked” or “I’m obsessed with learning to play the cello” or whatever makes your interests unique.

    You’re more responsible than the average woman of your age (not sure exactly what age). Prove it…tell me that you often stop drinking early so you can drive your friends home, or you’re the one that divides up the dinner check evenly and always give the server a good tip, or that you have a five-year plan and a savings account and are looking for an arrangement to fund your long term goals.

    Don’t talk about the “business world.” Say you are seeking a mentor to teach you the difference between academic theory and practical business skills…or whatever it is you mean by that sentence.

    The type of arrangement you describe means nothing to me…who wouldn’t want someone like that? Be a bit more specific, or show me your sense of humor: “I want a gentleman who can still see his feet and can do 10 pushups without expiring.”

    Also, you’re selling yourself, so tell me how you’re going to make my life better. Specifically what you’ll do that’s unique and different, not “I guarantee I’ll make you the happiest man in the world.”

    Personally, I like to see a sense of humor expressed in profiles, and I’m very attracted to intelligence, so I notice grammar, punctuation and spelling. But others may not care.

  44. Beach_Girl says:

    Studio~ There is no excuse if someone is late, unless they call immediately, but even then… I personally hate people that are late, makes me nuts… in work and play!

    Flyr~ Ha, great advice, I am going to think about the car ads when writing my next profile 😀

  45. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!

    How is everyone?

  46. flyr says:

    RE Profile Writing/Editing

    Your description – Only those things that are essential to arousing interest and in self screening. We don’t care about your cats etc. unless we are going to be at your place. Some activities are good. Personally I have high standards and knowledge of the entire alphabet is a minimal threshold skill. Perhaps a mention of your sensual side as a hint

    What you want – OK you want a 30 year old billionaire who was a Rhodes Scholar, part time male model, and owner of a large jet who believes in $20K allowances and doesn’t mind if you chew gum or have a bundle of tattoos including one honoring your boyfriend who, with his biker buds is doing hard time.

    Figure out what’s important to you but more create a word picture of what you will bring to him. Don’t promise more than you can deliver and make the package consistent. Be aware of how your words may be interpreted in this environment.

    i.e. There is nothing I will not try once may mean more than you intend.

    Look at car ads they do not talk about you need to fork over $50K rather they talk about value, the driving experience, how happy the customer will be.

  47. KatPaw says:

    Good for you studio

  48. studio says:

    @exotic SB

    yup of course, already lined up.

  49. Exotic SB says:

    @studio – NEXT! 😉

  50. studio says:

    @everyone else. Yup an hour late with no comms is a ridiculous way to make a first impression. In any kind of a relationship, personal or business.

  51. studio says:

    @fatbastard – apologies for the tone you old bugger

    would I rather she turned up?

    yeah, at least I might have got to give her arse a queeze and a slap before she went on her merry way.

    And you’re right, a restaurant was a crap place to meet. Lesson learned – even after 2 weeks of comms and calls people can still surprise you. I was foolish enough to think my erudite charm, rugged good looks and offer of the moon on a stick would’ve ensured her arrival.

  52. Exotic SB says:

    “What is the ultimate SD looking for? How do I go about fixing this?”

    @Lexxy – it depends who you are! Everyone has a different ‘ideal’ or ‘ultimate’ SD…I would say that you mention humor – but you aren’t reflecting this statement so much in your profile..and the other suggestion I would offer is to change your verbiage when it comes to “I’m also a Business major who wouldn’t mind being taught a thing or two about entering the business world and what it has to offer.”..I would say to turn this into a more positive and uplifting or even an exciting statement, omitting the ‘wouldn’t mind’ – keep it upbeat, positive and refreshing! Afterall you are speaking to your ULTIMATE SD – not to all the fake ones, yes?!

    I had a very difficult time writing my first profile. It was horrible actually lol. Truly, I know myself better and so it is easier to talk about me and what I have to offer. I think the first time around I wasn’t so sure what I had to offer in an arrangement, not having an idea of how the experience would actually be before having it…I don’t by any means think I have the ULTIMATE PROFILE now lol..but it is definitely an improvement over last time by the quality of responses I have received…rather than trying to be what you think the infamous ULTIMATE SD thinks he wants – BE YOU! xo

  53. Zack says:

    The Ulitmate SD is probably looking for the Ultimate SB.

    Focus on you. Fiscal responsibility, able to keep arrangements, aggressive (careful about that, there’s too much, imho), cute, new, real NSA, not needy….whatever suits that are things you’d like your ultimate SD to appreciate.

    Maybe. lol.

  54. KatPaw says:

    Lexxy you’re more then welcome to look at my profile 1675157
    Your profile is to generic that could describe millions. What makes you unique…

  55. Lexxy says:

    @Kat I honestly don’t know thats why I need help. What is the ultimate SD looking for? How do I go about fixing this?

  56. KatPaw says:

    @Lexxy ok that’s what you want. What will you do for them? What will you give them? You need to market yourself.. Now look at your profile as if you are a pot SD.. Would you contact you?

  57. KatPaw says:

    @Exotic your suggestions are wonderful as well! The wonderful bloggers here helped with mine. Helped me reevaluate what I wanted to put across.

  58. Lexxy says:

    @Kat well here’s my description (hobbies, interests)

    “I’m much rather open-minded, have a great sense of humor, love to laugh. I feel that life is too short to be anything less than happy. I love traveling, writing, spontaneous dates, social events, and trying new things. I’m considered to be the more responsible and logical one of my peers lol. I’m also a Business major who wouldn’t mind being taught a thing or two about entering the business world and what it has to offer.”

    Type of arrangement Im looking for:

    “I’m looking for a stress free, mutually beneficial relationship with a mature respectful gentleman who knows how to treat a lady. I don’t have a specific type but I do like men that are in shape, charming, and have a great sense of humor like me.”

  59. FatBastardSA says:


    Don’t care for your tone of voice.


    Would you have rather her show up and get involved with you. Simple answer, don’t meet anywhere where you cannot spend 15-30 minutes doing something productive (have a drink and catch up on reading the SA blog). Then you won’t care if the SB does not show up.

    Your story is not unique by the way. Get used to it happening again if you plan on using the site.

  60. Exotic SB says:

    @Lexxy – don’t worry about what you don’t want – focus on what you DO want. Be clear about what you would like and be clear about what you would like to offer as well…let it be an accurate reflection of YOU 🙂

  61. Exotic SB says:

    @KatPaw – Totally agree with your suggestion(s)..

  62. Lexxy says:

    @Exoitc thanks I’m thinking maybe I should be more specific as to what I want in my profile. As of right now I havent made it clear what I want in my profile. Though I do want a nsa SD SB mutually beneficial relationship I don’t wanna come off as a whore

  63. KatPaw says:

    @Lexxy the lovely bloggers here are wonderful at making recommendations. Post your profile number and ask for help making it more appealing to pot SD’s. Is your profile marketing you and what you can do for a SD. Truly profile wording pics ect have major impact on your results.

  64. KatPaw says:

    Onyx that would drive me bonkers. Very disrespectful to be constantly late.

  65. Exotic SB says:

    @Lexxy – when I found a SD a few years back it took 2-3 months before I found someone who I felt was a quality match for me. Our arrangement lasted about 9 months or so. I have been back to SA for just over a month now, and I have to say – the overall quality of SD’s I have spoken to (imho) has improved dramatically since a few years back. I feel this is mostly b/c I am much more clear in my profile this time around. Although I haven’t committed to any arrangement as of yet, there are a few pots that I am speaking with that seem to click with me. At the end of the day, I want one SD and I am committed to finding the right chemistry to make it most appealing for both of us to set up a long term arrangement. Rather than focusing on how long it takes, focus on the quality you are attracting. Flyr is absolutely right though – profile and location have much to do with it….

  66. onyx_percula says:

    A former (okay well still wrapping it up) SB is ALWAYS 30 mins late, so if we make a date for 6:00 I know to just actually make it 6:30.

    The new SB calls/txts if she is going to 5mins late.

    Once again it all comes down to good communications.

  67. Lexxy says:

    @flyr good point maybe I have some editing to do lol… I kinda wish I was able to view some of the experienced SB profiles for some pointers

  68. Lexxy says:

    @spicey thanks I guess I need to have a little bit more patience

  69. Lexxy says:

    @onyx my problem is quality I had a broke “SD” try to set up an arrangement with me and he said He lives with his wife and 2 kids, but they’re separated and she wouldn’t care if I came over and he made it clear that he wanted sex.. You can’t afford me!! -___-

  70. KatPaw says:

    Personally if I’m running 5 mins late for a meeting I let the other person know.. It’s just common courtesy!

    • Sophisticated Beauty says:

      That is what I think to. I read an article that said someone who is consistently late actually believes their time is more valuable than yours.I am 15 minutes early to everything. I think this comes from when I use to model. You always had to leave time for a flat tire. Because if you were late to a modeling interview or shoot, you were out. It has actually been helpful in life.

  71. SugarySpicey says:

    I have been to remote deserts and jungles and even there you can find telephone service and wifi. There is not a single event, absent death or serious injury, that should result in someone not showing for an HOUR without communication.

    Inexcusably rude!

  72. Zack says:

    Keeping meeting commitments has gotta be a basic skill, lol.

  73. KatPaw says:

    @studio I have a major pet peeve over punctuality and someone being where and when they said.. Calling an hour after the supposed meet time is a write off of someone who has no consideration of you or your time.

  74. studio says:

    @ FatBastard

    Mate I wasted 45 mins sat in a restaurant waiting before walking out. 15 mins later I get a phonecall and a sob story and a please can we still meet up tonight I really want to see you. By this time I was in my car, on the way home and thinking about lining up someone else.

  75. Zack says:

    A bit of my story:

    I joined SA around late July, I guess, just to see “what was out there.” I knew my marriage was unsustainable on its current path, I knew that the “Great Recession” had messed up my finances, and I knew my cash flow would continue to recover steadily if I wasn’t stupid, ha. I thought we’d break up in about another year, and I was trying to lay in delightful memories of my daughter.

    About a month in, I realized how wide open the possibilities in my life were, and how much of my “stuck” was in my own head. Why was I still just wasting time waiting for slow plans to evolve? I’m 43…what was I waiting for? I’ve been diligently preparing and achieving all my life, and I was truly a capable person….why wait just to die thinking I had a nice life?

    Well, this accelerated my separation and has made me think a lot more about myself. I suppose that’s drama, but if I’m learning, it’s good. I do understand how many ladies here can get angry spam storms. Emotions, freedom, various flavors of desperation, natural tendencies to blame others and protect oneselves… All flavors of drama, and hopefully, things that people learn to recognize and change in themselves…over time. That’s life.

    So far so good, SA, ty for your existence, Lol.

  76. Zack says:

    Lexxy, it’s probably just me, but I don’t think most new people on the site “Get it” in fewer than 2 months. People do get lucky, both good and bad, but it seems to take about 2 months before the person behind a profile moves past dating, scamming, or drama….at least a little.

    I’m pretty sure the more balanced, graceful and calm Seekers do better than average, regardless.

  77. flyr says:

    @spicey “Lexy – I’d say most people experience a 3-4 month search. Most leave within month one disappointed and disgusted or are perpetual searchers.”

    Two critical factors – location and quality of the profile. Too many are written like political resumes where the better model is that of an advertisement for a high quality , high price luxury item. Don’t focus on how awesome you are but rather on how awesome his experience (or her experience) will be. Sell the sizzling steak, not the cow.

  78. onyx_percula says:

    @ Lexxy — Is the problem quantity or quality?

    @ Alice — Relocate…

  79. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – sorry , Spicey only makes brief appearances. 😉

  80. SugarySpicey says:

    Lexy – I’d say most people experience a 3-4 month search. Most leave within month one disappointed and disgusted or are perpetual searchers.

  81. flyr says:

    @Sunday – I don’t think either sex has a monopoly of the “true” intent of sugar. One of the reasons is that it exists in the eye of the beholder.

    Although profiles may stretch the truth (on both sides) they are generally more truthful than the average politician. The easy answer is to take the advice of Ronald Regan and trust but verify.

    There is also the issue of EBS (Emergent Bitch Syndrome) which usually causes the sugar flow to cease. Many men are here because they do not want to hear the three most feared words, “Honey, I’ve been thinking”. Faced with EBS most men will find a reason to withdraw- perhaps claiming poverty.

  82. Lexxy says:

    My comment is off topic but I would like to ask the SBs on average how long did it take to find a real SD on SA? All I got was a broke college dropout “/

  83. FatBastardSA says:


    Deep financial fucking…sounds sensual.


    Less talk and more sexy gravatar pics.

  84. SugarySpicey says:

    You’re right, Softi – I’ve met a handful of really enjoyable people, along with the disgusting ones. I’m just feeling a little bruised today.

  85. DorkyGuy says:

    The discussion reminded me of “financial domination”, which the blog has discussed in the past. I did a search, and found this on a dominatrix website. She offers a special service that she calls “Blackmail and total ruin”.

    Maybe one of you SBs should add something like this to your profile, and see what kind of response you get!

    “First you and I sign a document which designates Me as your agent in most financial transactions, to have the same results as if you did them yourself. This document makes it much easier for Me to do a better job of screwing you over, in addition to making it completely LEGAL!

    I can open credit cards in your name, take out loan in your name, use your credit cards, access your bank accounts, transfer your money to My own accounts. If does not prevent you from doing these things, it just allows Me to do them as well. And I CERTAINLY will! The most fun is opening lots of credit cards and maxing them out, leaving you to pay them off. This will be undoubtably ruin your credit. And I will have SO MUCH FUN charging them up and leaving you with the bill !

    Nothing says “You´re My slave” better than a deep financial fucking! A long, slow, HARD fucking that will take you years to recover from (and leave you wanting more of it!).”

    I don’t know… it sounds too much like marriage to me.

  86. FatBastardSA says:

    @Richard,studio, CushPrincess

    I would bet “sunday” is a perfect example of a bitchy SB. Some girls are in bad shape and then they get the idea that SA will make everything in their life wonderful.

    studio should be happy that this came out in the initial emails. At least he did not waste time meeting in person.


    I have to admit I have met some women on SA that are alright. Anything is possible!

  87. sunday says:

    Ok SA is clearly not understood by the majority of SD members. Firstly, profiles or their stated wealth does not match when you finally get past the endless, good morning, hi and other limited vocabulary texts. Most SD s lie about their income or want to give the least allowance possible for an SB company and sex……. And meeting up too many times. SB’s prefer allowances and these ageing stingy supposedly millionaires less the millions need to understand this . It’s a lifestyle request and they cannot have a cake without paying for it…period

  88. FLYR says:

    @Spicey “Sometimes it seems that site is all about people trying to use each other, while giving the least possible in return.”

    It’s important to think about your sugar partner’s goals in terms of what importance the partner puts on your benefiting from the relationship. Some see helping a partner as rewarding in itself while others see it as evidence they were not tough enough.

    Assistance prior to meeting of the minds – It’s what you want it to be. Personal experience (neither right nor wrong) is that PE sugar is limited to avoiding the need for the sb to be out of pocket for gas, travel and perhaps baby sitter. I do not buy the idea of paying for her opportunity cost. Both parties should share the risk of the first meeting.

    From personal experience and stories here, more advance sugar often translates into less successful relationships. There are times to follow the plan and times to burn the plan and go with our heart of other leading parts, but understand the odds.

  89. CushPrincess says:

    I would think SBs would at least try to make it to the first meet before letting their inner domme out. I mean, how many pot genuine SDs have been turned off by a stupid profile, bitchy first message e.t.c? It is really easy to hit the ‘delete’ button.

  90. SugarySpicey says:

    Even with Subbys you have to dole the bitch out carefully, a little sugar, a little spice – keep them wondering which they’ll get. But, the experience of SA can make even the sweetest Pollyanna jaded and rough. Sometimes it seems that site is all about people trying to use each other, while giving the least possible in return.

  91. FatBastardSA says:


    This is the internet after all. I think there is a significant number of SB’s on the site who are going through a rough time and just want to take it out on someone.

  92. Alice says:

    Hi im new one 😉 Im lost in this, I think im stuck because i live in France, but Im not one of them, I mean native French girl, and I dont want to meet french ppl, I hate that language ;((

  93. KatPaw says:

    @Richard hmmmm coming across as a b**ch In first message might work if the SD was a subby.. But that’s about it

  94. Richard says:

    I’m sure there are some submissive men on here who like difficult women, but I have to believe it’s a pretty small percentage. Given that, coming across as a complete b*tch in your initial message with a potential SD is NOT a smart strategy for a SB. If you’re not at least polite, and your profile is all about you and what you deserve, I’m not going to even bother responding. Anyone feel differently?

  95. KatPaw says:

    @Studio I don’t know what a quid is worth sorry. ( never been out of the US so other currency’s I’ve never needed knowledge of.) As I said lots of users out there. They try to charm their ways through life sucking dry who ever they can. I’ve had a leech or two in my life. Lol

  96. Lexxy says:

    My comment is off topic but I would like to ask the SBs on average how long did it take to find a real SD on SA? All I got was a broke college dropout “/

  97. studio says:

    it was pocket change really. I couldn’t give a crap she got a few quid. I was just amazed she would make such a poor judgement to ask for some more cash out of me before even meeting. Talk about eating the goose that lays the golden egg. Instant red flag and run a mile when shr could have had a good thing going for the long(ish) term.

  98. onyx_percula says:

    @ Zack — No one can’t. I am “good to go” but she left her abusive X last week, so no she’s not getting any.

  99. Pandora says:

    Just curious–what do you think about a pot SD who gladly accepts a massage with a happy ending, and then starts sending sexy texts, without first securing any financial arrangement for the SB? He claims to have done this before–and I believe him–but am I totally amiss in thinking this is rather poor form?

    • Sophisticated Beauty says:

      I have gotten caught in this game and will not do it again. I had a SD go down that road and we had not even meet. I told him that I save that kind of talk for my sugar daddy’s only.. Same thing with sexy pictures. And I do feel that is something you should only share with the man who is sharing your bed.He will appreciate that.


  100. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – There hasn’t actually been any Skyping since he left, only his insinuation that he’d like to Skype – and I only ever gave him a cam show once. So, my top will remain on. Glad to hear about the appearance of your heart, I had thought it an urban legend.

  101. zACK says:

    OP, should we assume everyone is happily banging someone? It might be an important assumption.

  102. onyx_percula says:

    @ Richard — Well rather she believes it or not she is off allowance either way. We never started out as a sugar arrangement and it was only after it became apparent she wasn’t able to support herself I “converted” her to a SB. If she gave me everything the current is, I would want more. I never wanted her as a SB and still don’t.

    @ NC Gent — While she does display elements of NPD, I think the key part is self punishment. “I don’t deserve X so I won’t have it”. She is complex to say the least.

    @ studio — The old saying “The sugar flows when the panties hit the floor” applies to a degree here. Just remember if you are going to front money to a pot SB that its akin to lighting it afire or betting 16. Personally I don’t mind say fronting gas money or “lost time” money for a meeting, but it has to make sense.

  103. Richard says:

    *light bulb* Skype? Cam show? That’s the ticket…VIRTUAL SB/SD relationships! In case of drama, reboot.

  104. FatBastardSA says:


    You claim this guy is an asshole and break up with him, and share your story on the blog. Even the FatBastards hearts melts just a little. Then I read you still Skype every night (and you probably give him a cam show to top it all off).

    Your current gravatar is not going to make up for this PriceySpicey. It’s going to have to be a topless picture.


    I think I could be the fat ugly guy on Springer with the blog SB’s fighting over me. Imagine PriceySpicey and JerseyDarling pulling hair, ripping off each others cloths, all because they both want me. Yeah that’s how things should be…


    Cheers brother! Let’s bring the blog conversation back to the real world.

  105. KatPaw says:

    @sugary love the new pic HOTT!!!

  106. KatPaw says:

    Studio well sorry that happened to you and you deserve the rant.. I personally never asked a pot SD to give me anything before we meet. I’m not greedy ( well I can be lol ) or looking to scam anyone out of anything. But that’s just me. There are lots users out swimming around.

  107. studio says:

    I can tell you how not to negotiate with a SD.

    Don’t ask for some help before meeting because you are desperately short of cash, stand him up on the first date, spend 2 weeks apologising and when he finally agrees to meet again touch him up for some more cash.


    You think I got successful by being a sucker?

    sorry, rant over


  108. NC Gent says:

    p.s. your SB#2 being the one with NPD – not you, of course! 🙂

    • SD Guru says:

      @NC Gent
      “your SB#2 being the one with NPD – not you, of course!”

      Don’t be so sure! :mrgreen:

      @OP & Spicey

      Thanks for sharing the drama in your life. I’ve got my popcorns ready!!

  109. NC Gent says:

    @Dorky — too funny 🙂

    @Onyx — I suggest you educate yourself on Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and then you will understand exactly what is happening.

  110. Richard says:

    Onyx – I don’t know the back story, but you actually believe you love SB #2? The butterflies you feel are created by uncertainty, which leads to infatuation and longing. This isn’t love. You might ask yourself how you’d feel if SB #2 gave you everything you wanted like your current SB is doing.

    I get the sense you are deluding yourself somewhat. What would happen if you told SB #2 that you missed her and wanted her back but your allowance was already committed to your current SB (and she believed you)?

    Possible I’m misinterpreting the situation, of course, so I apologize if there’s more to the story.

  111. DorkyGuy says:

    Ugh, all of these people brooding over people who treat them badly while everyone involved is banging other people … I feel like I am watching a surreal mix of Jerry Springer and drama from junior high.

    Onyx, my advice is to break open a tube of cookie dough and work it out with #2. The chick who makes you feel miserable seems like the logical call. Definitely dump #1. A girl that treats you well and makes you feel supported can’t work long-term, because she won’t feed your need for misery. Besides, she will be easier to dump because she seems like a kind, understanding person who won’t lay guilt and emotional games on you.

  112. SugarySpicey says:

    Onyx – your ego demands resolution with #2, but you’ll never get it. There’s no friction with the current SB which creates no longing, and makes it easier for #2 to wiggle into your heart. It seems that we really prefer our love with a side of pain sometimes, doesn’t it.

  113. onyx_percula says:

    @ Exotic SB — Yes. She knows all about it too “I support you, go talk to her. I just want you to be happy.” Grrr… why couldn’t have fallen for my new SB instead of the one that is going to tear me up again.

    I have very very low expectations of anything working out with #2, the new lady treats me like a king, the logical choice is as clear as it can be. Since when has logic had anything to do with it right?

  114. Exotic SB says:

    Onyx – and you are VERY happy with your new sb, yes?!

  115. onyx_percula says:

    F’ME! SB#2 is back, apologetic and wanting to make up. She wants to talk it all out tomorrow, I can’t say no to her. Predictably her return to the abusive X was a big failure. I thought I would have more time to prepare for this. I love her, I want her, I know she is going to stomp my heart again. F’ME!!!!!!!!!

  116. SugarySpicey says:

    Hey Exotic!

    Sorry Softi – how about we switch topics – wanna talk about our periods ladies?

    Richard – Mwwwwaaa, and my boobies rubbed all over your face, thanks.

  117. Exotic SB says:

    Good morning to all of you sugars out there ~ just wanted to send some love out to the sugar fam xo

  118. zACK says:

    LOL!! really. NP, sir…

  119. Zack says:

    umm, eh, wrg zACK.

  120. Zack says:

    Since I seem to have Spammed ™ the Site ™ anyway….

    I’m going to hang this out here. Nothing @ no one…just something for ppl to get rowdy about, should they desire. Take it like grownups 🙂
    johnmichaelboling com/artforgeorgelucas/wp-content/original/2009_09/Jabba_the_Hut.jpg

  121. Zack says:

    oh, I guess that was sensitive.

  122. Zack says:

    It should be manifestly apparent that Gyne or Kores have little genetic relevance, as opposed to pot Nymphe.

  123. Zack says:

    Re: joke…so,

    The Pope is giving Sweetie an Eye. whatever.

    Richard notices that his prospects are noticing him….

    A hot blonde chick………………………………..\?

  124. Zack says:

    gyne, or woman. The life expectancy of the average woman was about forty years old. “
    I think fertility issues warp m/f relations in a way not historically precedented as a consequence (generally positive) of modern Tech. (I think there are other issues, too.)

    I think women deserve equal rights, but that they, generally, and the world…screw it up, down, right left and sideways. I expect better ways exist. Shrug. SEP

    I’m just an Alpha male.


  125. Zack says:

    Personally, and blatantly utilizing S’s frame of reference in this matter…

    I Seek a Nymphe. I will consider and support either a Gyne or Kore, but the mindset must ….fit me. LOL

    Any fun ladies willing to waste some time?

    ww bing com/videos/search?q=jear+my+name&FORM=VIRE2#view=detail&mid=56F3C50EC76AA3C939FB56F3C50EC76AA3C939FB

  126. Zack says:

    @Sweetie, @ the risk of presumption….

    He really is the sort of guy that can “get it.” If you think on that for a while, it might help. 🙂

    …catch you up later…


  127. MissBonafide says:

    Hey all 😀 New sb here and am all eyes for advice/tips concerning dealing with a pot sd who straight up wants exclusivity. I’m curious about your personal experiences or preferences?

    As this is a fairly new venture for me, very much in the beginning stage, I am right around that point where I am starting to feel overwhelmed with pots wanting to connect/meet/talk to me with a few of them (in town and out) appearing very legit. I have a few already lined up to meet in both sides of the coast as I am travelling at the moment and these pots also would either frequent my current city or one specifically even wanted a long distance arrangement. None of them have said anything about exclusivity so far.

    Except for this one man – he is quite experienced and has provided extensive info on himself, has given me a questionnaire and even went down to basics on how much he’s spent on past sb’s before to give me an idea of what I could start with. I actually really respect his transparency and openness about it, he seems sincere. He then gave me ballpark of yearly amount that he’s spent on them to begin and emphasized shopping/houses/cars etc were all extra and at his discretion and is possible. That’s all honky dory and great, seriously, but it is also overwhelming since, going into this so new, I kind of want to test the waters and fish around since I am feeling that the ball is in my court with the pots. So not necessarily thinking of money here but rather the chemistry/connection. And with respect to his desires, if I couldn’t see myself being exclusive to him, well I would not get involved with him as he deserves as much. Perhaps I should recommend him to others?!? 😉

    So question – do most, or at least, the general sb prefer one sd? Do sbs try or prefer to have a few sds depending on their needs? Are there others who might even just like having a couple? Are there sbs that have sds that want exclusivity but actually don’t practice it – don’t ask don’t tell policy, or are you strict about it?

    Ahh, just feeling overwhelmed sigh. First world problem moment lol. Thanks all <3

  128. DorkyGuy says:

    @sweetie~ sorry about that! After you clarified, I can see how the whole oppression bit is just tangential to what you were interested in, which was the origin of the word “nymphe”. It is a topic I am probably over-sensitive to..

    @KP~ The Man Show was genius! “Best Show on TV”, or “Best Show Ever”? I can’t decide! For some reason, it reminds me a little bit of an American version of the old Benny Hill show. Comedy and boobs… is there a better combination?

  129. sweetie says:

    Dorky, chill. You missed the point, the fact that Ancient Greece was a democracy. What I found interesting was that nymphe means bride.

    Please don’t make it all about whom should I apologize to again for being a man and how much should I pay for women’s forgiveness. Just take it as a did you know that … type of fact. Harmless.

  130. Richard says:

    Give Sugary a break, guys! From what I understand this is the first time she’s fallen hard for someone…and the first one is always the worst (as far as I remember from 27 years ago). She’ll be back to her normal acerbic self in no time…one hopes! Logically I’m sure she knows she is being unreasonable, but logic doesn’t apply to lovesickness. 🙁

  131. DorkyGuy says:

    That’s depressing, thanks for sharing!

    I don’t know whether I am supposed to drown my male guilt in ice-cream or bury my face in FB’s moobs.

    If I just give women money, will that make me less guilty for what the ancient Greeks did?

  132. sweetie says:

    Curious facts about women in Ancient Greece, girls married at 14-15 without their consent and had no rights of citizenship. And, brownie points for the word nymphe.

    “The consummation of marriage signaled the end of a young woman’s status as a kore, or young maiden, as she was then classified as a nymphe, or bride, until the birth of her first child, when she became a gyne, or woman. The life expectancy of the average woman was about forty years old. “

  133. SugarySpicey says:

    And, let me add – the blog photo on this one is whore-endous!

  134. SugarySpicey says:

    There you go Softi – do I look like I’m drowning my sorrows in a tub of ice cream?

    How about we all talk about boob smooshing for a minute, would that make your belly jiggle?

  135. Myra says:

    Lots of sugar daddy sugar-coated in beginning, but only one man genuinely understood the terms. He really have been doing so much for me, from booking my travel itinerary, a cooking class, photography class, Opera show… Man who stands what he says….rare to find!!

  136. FatBastardSA says:

    @Pricey Spicey

    Watching bouncing boobs with discussion of boy drama is fine (I can always mute the audio and play a sexy soundtrack).

    Can’t you just eat a tub of ice cream or something instead of obsessing about some guy?

    @blog SB’s

    Even Flyr is joining in on the vagina dialogues. Can you guys at least show some boob or leg gravatars to keep the men on this blog somewhat interested?

  137. SugarySpicey says:

    Sweetie – now his Facebook page is a real dilemma, as imagine how he feels about my blog? It’s much worse than his shenanigans. Lol.

    What do I mean by wait? Oh nothing much – respond eagerly with enthusiasm after every text or email, Skype at night instead of going out to the third world bar, email love letters everyday … or, just not have sex with anyone else.

  138. sweetie says:

    Fatty, sorry about the Dear Abby session. Please indulge us. It does beat reading both Zacks posts, gotta admit. Hehehe!

  139. sweetie says:

    Sugary, maybe you’re right. But this whole skyping and staying in touch as friends will only keep you emotionally involved and worked up, which means more drama. About that facebook page of his, I wonder what else you’ll go bonkers about when he pulls a nice one on you. I’m just saying TP telenovela ain’t over yet.

  140. CushPrincess says:

    @ Zack, I am in bed right now. Should be sleeping but I’m on the blog instead.

    @ Sugary, that’s not too much to ask but we all know that rarely happens in the real world (that includes the sugar bowl).

  141. KatPaw says:

    Lol the manshow lol all those girls had on where bikini tops and short “cheerleader” skirts.. Lol great intro to suck a man in bouncing boobies.

  142. FLYR says:

    sugary – the clintonian answer is that it depends on the meaning of waits

  143. Zack says:

    @Flir, => u r l8.

  144. Zack says:


    SuSp..been done…”Women on Tramp…” Manshow.

    @CP,thought you were sleeping, dear. Pardon my intrusion LOL

  145. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – how about a blog where women jump up and down on trampolines bouncing, while giggling and talking about boy drama?

    I want to take my time figuring out the home front while he waits on the sidelines adoringly – not dating other women. Is that too much to ask?

  146. CushPrincess says:

    LMAO! SBs who are currently searching, FB needs y’all to come forward right now!

  147. FatBastardSA says:

    Is this a blog about old guys hooking up with young women or an advice column for 30 year old women who seek drama?

    Let’s get back on track here :-).

  148. CushPrincess says:

    Sugary, I agree with Flyr here. What do YOU want? and are you willing to take it from him even if he doesn’t quite ‘conform’ to your standards..

  149. FLYR says:

    As others have noted returning to the discussion has the feel of walking into a party where one half of the guests have been doing acid…..

  150. FLYR says:

    @sugary – Recommend a few days with pencil and paper working on what’s important for you………………. is he worth exclusivity or it is just a way to control you.

  151. SugarySpicey says:

    … Though that would explain his “I love you” message from this morning.

    Ha, funny thing is, Skyping, being really great friends, and him letting off the pressure to move to Indo is exactly what I want. We can’t have a real relationship anyway. So, I don’t see a problem here, well if I can just chill out about his stupid bad boy stuff – which only affects me if I ever decide to be with him again – at which point he can get tested before he touches me and then why do I care?

    Sorry, rant, just wanting someone to check my thinking there.

  152. FLYR says:

    Re Other Recruiting From The Site –

    Had a bit of an emergency a couple days before this July 4 when the cleaning girl who was supposed to clean the house and then return to help with 60 + guests arriving for dinner on the 4the bailed out with her girlfriend who was also supposed to help.

    In desperation I recalled a pair who had posted here as being available as a pair or single and with some catering experience. A bunch of emails and calls and they arrived ( 130 mile trip) and did just an incredible job. The agreed deal did not include any naked play, (was at catering rate)s but left it open as an option.

  153. SugarySpicey says:

    Hmm, well that seems foolish of him if he’s breaking up with me because I won’t be with him exclusively – then we didn’t really break up at all.

  154. sweetie says:

    He’s gonna keep you looped around his finger from across the world.

  155. SugarySpicey says:

    Sweetie – how can there be drama, he’s across the world? Although he did take his desktop with him this time because he said he wanted a better Skype setup – I’m the only one he Skypes, from his hotel room at night while I get ready in the morning.

  156. sweetie says:

    Sugary, read your blog and do not see your last time with TP as closure, quite the opposite. Foresee lots of drama coming. I hope I’m wrong.

  157. CushPrincess says:

    Hah! Leave the blog for a day and the conversation takes a turn into the twilight zone.

  158. Zack says:

    You may havve misunderstood. Here,m we merely paddle along.

    Shrug. S’all good.

  159. SugarySpicey says:

    Did a cunning linguist just stop by? I heard he had from a man in a canoe.

  160. KatPaw says:

    Well off to soak away… Can’t wait to see next turn of conversation. Lol 😉

  161. KatPaw says:

    Hmmm odd turn of conversation.. Lol

  162. Zack says:

    Bright lad.

  163. DorkyGuy says:

    Would a cunning linguist know how to slip in the pun seamlessly? A little man in a canoe tells me that he would!

  164. Zack says:

    : P

    ww bing com/videos/search?q=enya+wild+child&FORM=VIRE1#view=detail&mid=AC65D7A26F7A4A96BB04AC65D7A26F7A4A96BB04

  165. zACK says:


    I need to make a pun about “Cunning Linguists,” But I’m going to do anything else.

  166. KatPaw says:

    Well Zack your more then welcome to check out my profile for yourself lol

  167. KatPaw says:

    @ Dorky as you see I took all your guys suggestions to heart about my profile and re vamped it. It’s much better thanks to all the input I received.

  168. Zack says:

    I hope I may see you as it grows and changes.

  169. KatPaw says:

    Zack your a sweet talker! Lol and luckily my hair grows really fast so it will be back at a decent length in no time..

  170. KatPaw says:

    Dorky I have so many different sides of my character I like wearing each “role” on occasion.. Look the wild child, the GND, classy sleek lady or the slut.. I’m all those just depends in the mood which side I wish to “play” lol

  171. Zack says:

    if your hair is merely an expression, it will grow in time.

    You seem beautiful, and I have not seen your image. 90%+ 🙂

    ww stylelist com/view/10-fresh-hair-ideas-for-fall/#!fullscreen&slide=10

  172. DorkyGuy says:

    It seems to me that most hair/style changes are the result of a persona change that girls want to express. You want to seem more playful, or more serious, or older, or younger, or sexier, or more demure, and so the hair/clothes change to match the new persona. If you want to change things up with a new hairstyle, the first step is to ask what aspect of yourself has been understated that you want people to see, and start from there.

    Can you tell I raised daughters? 😛

  173. KatPaw says:

    For not got… Ugh ready to toss this phone.

  174. KatPaw says:

    Dorky I was Harley Quinn got Halloween last year. lol thank you and I do so love to change my look up.. Lol I’m ready for a hair change now just not sure what I want to do.. Growing it back out I kinda regret cutting it. 🙁

  175. Zack says:

    @KP I, on the other hand, in my supreme experience as a new SD, would take that as a chance to negotiate. After I cooled down. but I’m new.

  176. DorkyGuy says:

    @KP if he was looking for sex, then yeah, he deserved a harsh retort!

    By the way, love the new photos on your profile. No kidding about changing your look on a whim! My favorite look for you is the very last photo with the curly hair. I could be wrong, but you seem like the kind of girl who would have a blast doing cosplay at ComicCon.

  177. KatPaw says:

    @Dorky He wasn’t looking for a companion other then flat on her back .

  178. DorkyGuy says:

    @FB~ I forgot about white male guilt! Also, our North American consumerism is killing polar bears, so there’s that.

    “Lol once had a guy on SA offer me ‘$125 for 2 hours of my time’ my counter to that was telling him to go look on a street corner.” ~ KatPaw

    I once needed a companion just to join me at some charity function that I didn’t want to go to alone. It was a couple of hours, and I sent out a bunch of messages offering $100 if someone wanted to go with me. There were a lot more takers than I expected… and not a single one suggested I go look on a street corner. I know at least one other SD who has used the site for lining up dinner dates when he is out of town and wants to visit a nice restaurant. If I remember right, his offer is in the same ballpark.

  179. Zack says:

    ww bing com/videos/search?q=kansas+point+know&qpvt=kansas+point+know&FORM=VQFRML#view=detail&mid=290AB2396AC3EB54C87D290AB2396AC3EB54C87D

    @SuSp, btw, some of your quotation marks were inverted. I think it was unintentional and a result of a stray space. What do you think?

  180. zACK says:


    ok, “lol”


  181. Zack says:


    @KP… such a state Dear! I’d like to talk about you, if I may….

  182. zACK says:

    ww bing com/videos/search?q=mac+the+knife&qpvt=mac+the+knife&FORM=VQFRML#view=detail&mid=7558ED2B0407B06180CE7558ED2B0407B06180CE

  183. KatPaw says:

    Line not like stupid auto correct!

  184. KatPaw says:

    @Zack had to be the spanking like huh lol 😉

  185. Zack says:

    @FB…he’s smart enough to enjoy figuring things out 4 himself, I’d like to think. I also expect he has an international perspective, but that’s just my guess atm.

    @KP I really want to get you my number. How may I do that, pls?

  186. KatPaw says:

    Ok so back on to negotiation… Or well kinda I guess.. Lol once had a guy on SA offer me ” $125 for 2 hours of my time” my counter to that was telling him to go look on a street corner.

  187. KatPaw says:

    Oooo just read about spankings! Where do I line up?? Lol

  188. FatBastardSA says:


    I assume you are a white male. You may not know it but you ARE responsible for genocide by your very existence. Have you ever offered a $20K/month allowance? My guess is the answer is no which clearly shows your hatred of women. Quit while you are ahead! If you don’t believe me as Pricey Spicey to explain it to you as I am remember her stating that she studied feminist theory at one point :-).


    You know the conversations are getting fucked up when Flyer is having a hard time following things.

  189. zACK says:


    A Fatty, a King and another guy who ducks out…the other two walk into a bar.

    someone watches them as they approach the Pope behind the counter.

    The Pope says, “what are we all 4 2day?”


    Fatty says, “I’ll have what he’s having, but make mine a double.”

    Richard says…umm, let me look… As he scans around.

    the other guys just do their thing. For now.

  190. DorkyGuy says:

    Well, I finally figured out that “SuSP” must be Spicey.. But that revelation hasn’t helped at all in making sense of much of the conversation.

  191. zACK says:

    a-yep…that’s 12k.

  192. Zack says:

    SuSp…not everyone can be as fine as you. Calender can provide good reminders for good purposes for many. Pls do not condemn “good” in favor of “perfect” unless you’re going to take personal responsibility for making that happen. Any thought of “responsibility” is probably good, unless excessive (rare). SD’s “playing the field” should have up to date std checks, arguably, plus an occasional antibiotic [REGIME 1 a : regimen 1 b : a regular pattern of occurrence or action (as of seasonal rainfall) c : the characteristic behavior or orderly procedure …]. But that’s just my style, and it is really “just” style.

    Your sense of responsibility is remarkable and excellent, imho. But we are human and should embrace change…. lest we become things. imho

    I would hope we might hook up after a few years. I have time if you do.

    ps Hudson Hawk is, I feel, awesome, but I think it might be a bit obscure.

  193. Zack says:

    Wow. Hello, friends. Nice to talk like this.

  194. Flyer says:

    All these random comments are hard to follow if you take a few days off.

  195. SugarySpicey says:

    Onyx – you are beyond ignorant on this topic if you think what I was discussing were the logistics of NuvaRing (which are synthetic hormones and a delivery device that doesn’t work for all women, can fall out without notice, and should be discussed by a woman and her doctor). Your contribution to birth control in sugar dating children is a condom and maybe cash if she chooses to add a belt to those suspenders (which I’d hope she would, but you’re a creep if you push it, because you’ve never taken estrogen/progestin blends I imagine).

  196. onyx_percula says:

    @ Spicey — Nova Ring, worn for three weeks, removed for one. Nova something or another has separate pills, three weeks of “on” and one week of “off”. So a reminder email… “Time to start the off pills” or “Time to put the ring back”.

  197. DorkyGuy says:

    “A Fatty, a Richard, and a Pirate walked into a bar …”… You would think one of them would have seen it and ducked.

    @FB: “Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.”…. I hated history, ignored it as much as possible. Gratefully, I have yet to start a holocaust or massacre any indigenous people. There is still time though.

    My pressing question is… Who the heck is “SuSp Mk”? Both Zack and zACK seem to be having a conversation with this person, but I can’t figure out who it is.

  198. SugarySpicey says:

    Spankings for everyone!

  199. sweetie says:

    hahaha! We’re gonna hear from Zack, don’t you worry! He’ll tell us a few in his own confusing language. He likes to scold.

  200. KatPaw says:

    & Sweetie zACK wrote like a 16 year old ghetto punk. Zack though his words come across confusing at times you can tell there is a brain in his head. Lol

  201. sweetie says:

    Fatty, the 2 zacks are not the same?

  202. KatPaw says:

    Ohh man the turn of this blog as me giggling! At this point I don’t know what to say but LMAO.

  203. FatBastardSA says:


    My picture recommendation was for zACK not Zack.


    I do the best I can to leave every SB better than I found her. Not into licking Chanels, I am a Nike man.

  204. sweetie says:

    Richard, I’m never anybody’s seconds. No need to get me in the mix, you should stick to your first choice. You have my blessing. Ha!

  205. sweetie says:

    [email protected] “A nice portrait picture and one showing you swallowing a large sausage would be my recommendation.”

    Awesome!!!! Hehehe! You know Zack is very sensitive, so step with care.

  206. Richard says:

    Sugary – Now YOU are getting me confused with Softi! 🙂

  207. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – always the gentleman! And we know your real fetish. It isn’t feederism, you want to lick my Chanels – you’ve been subtly begging for months.

    Richard – smooth, you’re almost forgiven.

  208. SugarySpicey says:

    Onyx – how would you possibly “manage” a daily task for someone using a Google calendar – seems like you’re over-simplifying. When I say “manage” birth control I mean Wear a Condom. YOU should be taking the responsibility, in addition to whatever measures she chooses with her health care provider which you should NOT influence on such a young girl.

  209. FatBastardSA says:


    Managing birth control for your SB is easy. I always insist on a CIM finish. It is not my first choice but mentoring has always been a big motivating factor for me and I am willing to make sacrifices.

  210. FatBastardSA says:


    I think your profile is fine but your pictures need to be better. Try a mix. A nice portrait picture and one showing you swallowing a large sausage would be my recommendation.

  211. Richard says:

    Sugary – Of course, you know what I look like…and I beg your forgiveness for confusing Sugary with Sweetie (they are SO different). Just shows you who is really on my mind. 🙂

  212. onyx_percula says:

    Spicey got to me wondering after her post about SDs taking responsibility with young SBs.

    How many have their SD “manage” their birth control? BTW Google calendars work really well with email reminds 😉

  213. FatBastardSA says:


    I just want everyone out there to know that being fat does not make me a sexual deviant ( feederism, etc.). I find it quite sad that the members of this blog are not more tolerant of others who are fatter and uglier than they are.

    Been on this blog for a while now and the only offers have come from other SD’s. I think the SB’s here are all talk :-).


    Since Richard does not interest you I assume that means you two have met.

  214. SugarySpicey says:

    Sir Richard – I haven’t yet settled on that one – I get to choose the terms of endearment (or belittlement) I use. 😉

    Though, you just confused me with Sweetie so you may have to be the Absent-minded scientist now ~ she says, pouting prettily.

  215. onyx_percula says:

    Lookout SBs Exotic_SB has updated her profile and is seriously getting her sexy on!

    I watched a interesting TED talk this AM on online dating. It has some interesting information. http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_webb_how_i_hacked_online_dating.html

  216. Exotic SB says:

    @Sweetie – tall, dark and handsome works for me too! Blondes have never really done it for me either somehow….

    Good morning to everyone else xo

  217. Richard says:

    Sugary – I’m the spitting image of Bruce Willis in his 40s! Except I’m taller, my hair is dark and my eyes are blue. Same hairline, though. 🙂 Maybe you’ll reconsider? Softi made me an insultingly low offer for a monthly allowance, and I know I deserve more.

  218. sweetie says:

    We all know Bruce Willis in his 40s does it for me. Yummy!

    Richard, you’ll survive. Fatty is a way better match for you.

  219. Richard says:

    Sweetie – I am hurt. Deeply and immutably. Over the last few days I have been germinating a fantasy involving you, me, and an illicit rendezvous in the 6th arrondissement…but the details just don’t matter any longer.

    Softi – Let’s talk. Just can’t find a good SB match here, and I’ve always had a secret paraphilia for feederism, maybe we can work something out. What’s your allowance expectation?

    The Scientist is also awaiting the punch line.

  220. SugarySpicey says:

    As far as the joke, well I don’t know the punch line yet myself :p

  221. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – TP was actually very cathartic – he was a reprise of someone else I’d known, years ago, but couldn’t allow myself to be soft and vulnerable with. I learned lessons. None of that hot Pirate sex was in vain.

  222. sweetie says:

    I don’t have a type, if I like a guy, I like him all. I tend to go for dark hair, though. Not sure why blondies don’t really do it for me. At least not so far.

    Spicey, we all go crazy every now and then. It’s ok. I’ve had my share of it.

  223. FatBastardSA says:


    Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.

    If nothing else your story does provide important insight for men on how to get a woman to be attracted to you.

    You never finished the joke by the way :-).

  224. SugarySpicey says:

    I agree, what is Sweetie’s type?

  225. FatBastardSA says:


    I wonder if I am his type…An even better discussion would be to ask sweetie what is her type :-).

  226. SugarySpicey says:

    A Fatty, a Richard, and a Pirate walked into a bar …

    Softi – Except for the job part (which I’ll resolve shortly) I’d do everything with the Pirate again. I’m sad, but not crying in my pillow – more just disappointed and knowing that I’ll miss his company. As soon as he told me he was moving to Indo I knew things would have to end eventually. Don’t tell anyone, but I kind of liked having my IceySpicey demeanor melted for a while. I even liked having intense enough feelings to act a little crazy over a boy – never experienced that before. So, being charmed and impressed – yep, still wanting that. (though I’m not a wide-eyed 19 year old, impressing me is tricky, one has to use his brains and experience, not his wallet).

  227. sweetie says:

    Fatty, Richard doesn’t interest me. He’s all yours.

  228. FatBastardSA says:


    Charm you, impress you, that is how you got into this mess in the first place. What you need is a change of pace. Focus your affection on someone you would never normally consider…


    Bad strategy. If PriceySpicey becomes Ms. Bastard you get to keep Richard all to yourself :-D.

  229. FatBastardSA says:


    You have to ask PriceySpicey about my nickname.

  230. Babylin says:

    Hey does seekingarrangement.com accept sugar baby from asia such as philippines ? Thank you for those who gonna answer my question I actually signed up as sugar baby out of curiosity then I browsed sugar daddies and WOWWWWW lol. I actually can work my ass off even without relaying on sugar daddies lol but the offer is just wow I mean not for me but for some girls lol. They don’t approve my photos yet or maybe they not gonna approved it anymore? haahha noo its not nude lol How long does it take to approve photos?

  231. Zack says:

    Testing…SA may have put me in Moderation again….

  232. Zack says:

    @NW SB…

    I like wine & vineyards. May we talk?

    The clubbing enviro is fun…may I see you?

  233. zACK says:

    Oh, yeah…I forgot….

    “Ypu have money…obviously you are stupid. Give it to me because I am fantastic,” Oh and fck u.

  234. zACK says:

    SuSp Mk?

    well, just say it….do you think you deserve to be given money b/c you are you and nothing you do matters b/c everyone else is not you? That’s a simple y/n q.

  235. zACK says:

    OO, OO….12K I want it for no apparent raisin.!! Mine, all Mine It’s Mine b/c I Deserve IT…It’s all about me! No one else understands…I’m hurt and it’s always someone else’s fault! Screw him and the camel she humped in on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    just my 2 scents..

  236. Efud says:

    Coming up on 12k fb likes. What to say, what to say?

    OP…spot on

    NWSB: I’m new. Did I miss anything important? Ever? Am I ok to start fresh assuming ppl are honest?

    FB: where’d the “SA” come from?. . . . .

    My Pot SB: Please talk to me more.

  237. Efud says:

    @ NW

    …if U are as real as your initial post suggests….You can write your own ticket…in time.

    good Luck, given….”good will”


  238. Efud says:

    Hi NW. ::)

    R U Seeking? I’d like to introduce myself….

  239. nwsugarbaby says:

    It has been about a year!!! Yikes!! It is good to see some familiar faces on here still. I am pursuing a SD/SB relationship again after taking some time out to evaluate life goals and had a real relationship with someone. I look forward to seeing what is out there.

    @age discussion. I think where a person has their values and priorities can tell you about a persons “true age” or maturity level. A lot of it comes from life experiences and education as well.

    @Flyer. I grew up in a rural area and can say that some of us are aware of what is going on while others are still clueless. However, we do all know where our food comes from, etc. No comment on the sexual experience, but I can see where that could be the case for some country gals. Flying in wine country would definitely be better than clubbing in my book. I love looking at vineyards and many are accompanied by great wine/ food.

  240. Zack says:

    Flyer: a charming SD in changing circumstance, as always, sir 🙂

    FB: when did the “SA” pop up, softi? 😛 Again, I think your views, as you compose them, merit fair consideration, sir.

    SuSP, mk II… of course you are aware of your impact. What the hell do you think you are doing?

    I should stop here. Sry. Welcome new speakers: all are valued more than it costs you to speak. Your first post will be hung in “moderation” for at least several hours, most likely. After that is ok…you get instant posts…if you are nice. sigh.

  241. Flyer says:

    Re age of Sb sign on – Probably biased by the free admission and the inquisitiveness if the age group. Kind of like me checking the value of a stock . If nothing else having a profile gives them a feeling of liquidity.

    Treatment of younger Sb – I really liked spicey’s comment. Leave her better (and stronger) than you found her. I live in a rural farming community but spend the week in a major city influenced by the entertainment industry . My take is that geography plays a major role in the social and sexual sophistication of the younger people. In the country the kids have a much more well developed view of life, work however, they are far less sexually experienced than their big city sisters. The big city sisters re more sophisticated in their sexual life but more likely to be clueless as to the realities of life.

    I thin there are substantial moral issues going below 20 in the vast majority of cases.

    Spicey how abut just selling the screen rights to your adventures

    Personally I think an intelligent approach to evaluating whether allowances are adequate is not to start with the allowance but to look what each party wants to contribute /take. And then what allowance balances the ledger. One Sb may put a huge value on being taken to the front to the line at major clubs while others would be much more appreciative of an off hours museum tour or flying right seat on a flight for a weekend in the wine country.

  242. sweetie says:

    Good one, Sugary. Like. Makes sense.

    • SD Guru says:

      Pirate, “Come be with me in Indonesia.”
      Spicey, “No fucking way”
      Pirate, ”Then I’m going to hook up with skanks.”
      Spicey, “Go for it. I’ll hook up with dorky bastards!”
      The end.

  243. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – As I tell all men: then charm me :p

  244. FatBastardSA says:



  245. FatBastardSA says:


    Seems to be going that way…I had to look up the definition of fodder. I was expecting it would mean something really kinky.


    I can be quite charming you know, and you are going to need a new pair of cross trainers if you plan on working out again. Just throwing that out there.

  246. DorkyGuy says:

    FB: “Spicey, I am your fodder.”

    Spicey: “No…!”

  247. SugarySpicey says:

    Oh, Softi – you give me literary fodder 😉

  248. FatBastardSA says:


    The cause is most probably your attraction to assholes. What you need is a change of pace, bastards are a much better breed :-).

  249. onyx_percula says:

    @ Zack — Something my new SB pointed to me being the wonderful person she is… “YOU WORRY TOO MUCH!”

    Speaking for myself, maybe it resonates with you too.

    When I get too excited, nervous, too invested then I say and do stupid things. So let’s say I am meeting a pot SB, we have already met, like each other but are taking our time before completing an arrangement. I already have a certain level of investment, I know she is the real deal, has great potential to work out in a arrangement. So my mind is in a war with its self… one side wanting to rush forward complete the arrangement, the other side afraid of fucking up, and being overly careful or guarding.

    Neither side can win as both are sure roads to ruin. Something that helps me… rather its really true or not… “She wants to be here, she wants to have a good successful arrangement just like I do, I am the one in demand, she is human too, and if she can’t forgive a couple of small mistakes then it wouldn’t work out for very long anyway. RELAX!”

    Bottom line if you can’t communicate about the important stuff, like saying “Hey I am sorry, but I get nervous in meeting someone new, (great place to tell her how beautiful, sexy, etc she is to you) and I might say something stupid, please tell me if I screw up, it may have just came out wrong and I’m too embarrassed or worried I just ruined it to correct it.” Some women will hear something like that as a auto eject button press, others will completely understand and love that you care enough to be honest and try to make it work.

  250. SugarySpicey says:

    I’ll keep that in mind, Softi – but somehow it doesn’t seem to solve anything but the skanks, which are a symptom, not the cause.

  251. IslandBeauty86 says:

    I haven’t met anyone on here yet, I’m new here. Any advice?

  252. FatBastardSA says:

    @ PriceySpicey

    You are playing this all wrong. Here is how it should have gone down:

    Pirate, “Come be with me in Indonesia.”
    Spicey, “Not yet”
    Pirate, ” Then I’m going to hook up with skanks.”
    Spicey, “Two can play at that game!”

    That’s were I come in. I can be your revenge sex skank.

  253. Zack says:

    More than I can possibly say or process at this time. Thanks for your help.

    ps, She is a human Gem.

  254. DorkyGuy says:

    @Zack~ What happened with your pot meet? It sounds like you had a lot of energy invested in it. Were there any lessons that you can take away?

    I remember when I was brand new, I was corresponding with a SB that was really gorgeous in her pics. We messaged a lot, but due to timing and location, we couldn’t meet right away. Conversation seemed to click on a lot of levels, and I ended up sending her a bunch of small gifts, and even a spa day for Christmas. It never occurred to me that I was becoming emotionally invested in a figment of my imagination based on a few profile photos. Finally, I got to meet her for dinner, and not only was she at least 10 years older and 20 pounds heavier than her pics, but her personality was appalling. She was rude to the waitress (and her manager), repeatedly sending back food, and she wanted to cancel our plans and “go shopping” because “it’s my birthday!”.

    I learned a bunch of important lessons from that. First, I was a naive idiot. Second, never send money to someone you have not met in person. Third, you can’t tell enough about a person’s personality from their emails and messages. You never really know a person until you sit down across from them and have a conversation. So don’t become invested in anyone until you reach that point.

    I think this kind of scenario probably plays out a lot.

  255. Zack says:

    I am separated, probably leading to divorce. I am an SD seeking both an SB and a better understanding of why I always seem to mess myself up on simple things. :-/

  256. DorkyGuy says:

    @Spicey~ wow…. Maybe I am too jaded, and too quick to end relationships, but “hooking up with skanks” would be a deal breaker. If they weren’t skanks, maybe it would be a different story.

    why not just tell him it’s done? If you like, I can send him a scathing email telling him to stay away from my fiancee!

    @Zack, now I am confused… Are you a SD, or are you looking for an SD?

  257. Zack says:

    I’m speaking rhetorically, and presumptively, for good purpose I think when I say…

    Sugar. Nice statement of your views. Concise, rational, and implying sustainable internal checks and balances.


    Can you do the same for his side? I think he may have issues, but a good heart and he does not seem to have abused -you=. Perhaps there may be misunderstanding between you. time helps with that, but there are better ways of communication as well.

    key issues may include: patterns. broken up. Intellectual bully. SD/SB. Behavioral norms and philosophy. Real world externalities.

  258. CushPrincess says:

    Oh dear!!

  259. SugarySpicey says:

    Here’s how “broken up” goes:

    Pirate, “Come be with me in Indonesia.”
    Spicey, “Not yet”
    Pirate, ” Then I’m going to hook up with skanks.”
    Spicey, “Well, then I can’t trust you.”
    Pirate, “Call me when you make up your mind then, I can’t stand that you share a house with another man, so we’re broken up “… Three days pass … “I love you, I miss you…” And the whole pattern repeats itself again.

  260. Zack says:

    Well I suppose I should finally introduce myself as I have been following the blogs for a few weeks but have never commented. So….

    HI! I’m new to the SD world here in Atlanta. I had a SD back in Minneapolis and he was amazing! But all good things must come to an end so now I am looking for an SD that I real———————————————————————-

    Welcome, aboard the crazy train.

  261. Zack says:

    Statistics are easy to make up…for example…

    If there are 12 “Real” SB’s on SA for every “Real” SD…
    and if Kats have nine lives..

    Wow, ladies, I’m near quota. Ty, SA…maybe it’s a good weekend after all.


  262. KatPaw says:

    @Sugary I hope you now have your closure with The Pirate!

  263. CushPrincess says:

    @Sugary, “He tried one more time to get me to come” I thought he broke up with you already… or he took one look at what he was giving up and changed his mind…

  264. Zack says:

    Are you Seeking shortly, or have the sharks that can crawl on the land already made plans?

  265. SugarySpicey says:

    Just dropped the Pirate off at the airport. He tried one more time to get me to come. We’re finished though.

  266. Zack says:


    but if you’re so smart, how come you don’t have the Answers?

    Hmm, who to ask, lol.

  267. Zack says:

    :), but as gtt, Sweetie, and some young ladies of different wisdom than mine have pointed out….

    It’s normal for me. I should do better.

    Pardon me if I seem to babble at times, I’m new and Seeking 🙂

  268. DorkyGuy says:

    @Zack- I have rejected Eastern philosophy since receiving a fortune cookie that said “you will die alone and poorly dressed”.

  269. CushPrincess says:

    LOL @Zack. It happens to everyone.

  270. FedUpSB2013 says:

    Seems like all the guys in the Atlanta area are broke, have endless convos or are so self absorbed all they can think about is getting laid. This site is a waste to me.

  271. Zack says:

    @ SuSp mk 2:

    such a power imbalance – I believe that power imbalance is exactly what a lot of SDs seek and enjoy.
    I think that mindset is more likely to result in a child growing to an SD than one of self-denigration. So that may describe many SD’s, if you look at it right 🙂

    I’d welcome Eastern philosophical points as ideas, though. That’s just me.

  272. Zack says:


    I meant, “Nice picture, Richard, Good to see you.” But it didn’t come out quite right. Shrug 😛

  273. Zack says:

    @ Dorky, ok, but if it worked, we also would not need SA b/c trickle down economics would preclude the utility of SA. Anthropomorphic principle suggests Pyramid schemes do not work as such simple plans would require.

    On the other hand, franchising works for McDonald’s. Perhaps the idea is not flawed, but elements of assumptions.

    I suppose this is off topics. Sorry, weekend kinda bombed again. 🙁

  274. Zack says:

    @ Sweetie…Hope the lifestyle comes together for you, Earthman 🙂
    Honest communication requires adapting to the other person’s references and experience, not forcing the words until they agree with you. Otherwise, long term conflict or personality disorders are likely, imho.

  275. DorkyGuy says:

    [email protected] – you’re so right! All the things I could have been protected from if I only I’d had to wait until I was 25.” Wonder if you would have done them anyway, just a bit later.” ~sweety

    Maybe some of them, but not all of them. Definitely not the marriage. I probably would have still taken a couple swings at the multi-level marketing piñata. If it worked as promised, SA would be populated with SDs who are Amway distributors 😛

  276. SugarySpicey says:

    Lol, autocorrect – perturbed

  277. SugarySpicey says:

    I’ll go, of course I will, I’m a sucker. But, aloof shouldn’t be too challenging. I’m rather perterbed.

  278. sweetie says:

    Well, you know it’s your decision. Be ready for whatever comes after.

  279. SugarySpicey says:

    A lot if wisdom in that one too Sweetie. And, right now I’m feeling rather good with how I left things, one last meet up could send me backward instead of forward.

  280. sweetie says:

    Spicey, I thought you were done wondering what if. Sometimes we just don’t want to let things be over. You asked, I say don’t go.

  281. SugarySpicey says:

    You’re right Richard. I’m going to go in full Spicey force! Bring out the paints, this squaw is on the warpath.

  282. Richard says:

    Sugary – Go! Otherwise you’ll always wonder. Look devastatingly beautiful (easy for you), be a bit aloof, and let him see what he’s leaving behind…lol.

  283. SugarySpicey says:

    Sweetie – perhaps my young, foolish decisions saved me from myself and the even worse decisions I would have made.

    Speaking of those bad decisions: As Ruchard calls him, The Bootlegger, just called and is trying to get me to come see him tonight when his plane lands. This will be his last time in the U.S. For a year. Definitely the last time I’d ever see him. Hmmmm, do I go?

  284. sweetie says:

    Cush, everybody is confused by Zack’s words in general. No news there, hehehe! People, talk about whatever you feel like. Didn’t know there’s a dictatorship here.

    Richard, don’t mind Zack, he’s jealous. Hehehe!

    [email protected] – you’re so right! All the things I could have been protected from if I only I’d had to wait until I was 25.” Wonder if you would have done them anyway, just a bit later.

  285. CushPrincess says:

    @Zack, huh? I thought I was following the conversation but I’m confuzzled at your question.

  286. Zack says:

    who’s this dude?

  287. Richard says:

    Sugary knows how I feel about it, and I’m not condoning using inexperienced girls for your satisfaction, but don’t assume every 18-21 year old is as young and naive as she may appear…or even as she presents herself. Her wide-eyed appreciation for the wonders of Las Vegas may simply be an act calculated precisely to meet your needs.

    I’ve seen some private communications between very young girls playing the SB card and they are completely aware of what they are doing, and adept at manipulating older men. Realistically, a young attractive woman may have much more social intelligence (if not experience) than an older geeky but financially successful married man.

    Is it more common for the older SD to fall in love with the younger SB or vice versa?

    Just saying.

  288. Zack says:

    This is not the forum for drawing that line…we’ll stumble over emotional maturity and things that lines like those don’t easily nuance. Why are we getting stuck on this?

    Good ideas thoughts and examples, for all, I suppose.

  289. SugarySpicey says:

    Dorky – you’re so right! All the things I could have been protected from if I only I’d had to wait until I was 25.

  290. Zack says:

    Dorky, that one probably gets elevated to the thinktank.

    /www quickmeme com/p/4o0r

  291. sweetie says:

    Dorky, hahaha! I’ll say one more thing. We have sex for pleasure more than we have it for reproduction. Any research on that?

  292. DorkyGuy says:

    @sweetie/Spicey, I am on your side… My proposal was to raise the law to age 25. I wasn’t kidding or being sarcastic. If the legal age for adulthood were 25, I know it would have saved me from entering into a disastrous marriage, a couple of attempts at multilevel marketing, a timeshare purchase, getting way over my head in credit card debt, and a bunch of other stupid stuff.

    I don’t think either gender is a fully formed adult at 18, regardless of how mature you “feel”.

    It is a cruel trick of nature that our biology places our sexual awakening and need for independence at precisely a time in our lives when we are ill equipped to handle it. If I could play God, and tweak human biology, puberty would begin at 21 or so.

  293. sweetie says:

    Dorky, if there were no law at all, what do you think would happen? Adults would have sex with teenagers and it would be perfectly acceptable.

  294. yourfairytale says:

    Well I suppose I should finally introduce myself as I have been following the blogs for a few weeks but have never commented. So….

    HI! I’m new to the SD world here in Atlanta. I had a SD back in Minneapolis and he was amazing! But all good things must come to an end so now I am looking for an SD that I really connect with.

    To comment on this thread, I would say it depends on the situation if a negotiation needs to happen. In my previous arrangement he treated me well and I was more that happy with what I recieved. Now I do think that if the SB feels she is not getting what she wants she needs to speak up since a true arrangement is built on complete honesty. If he really cares about you he will do what he can to meet what your needs (provided you are doing the same for him)… Just my 2 cents…

  295. sweetie says:

    Richard “After millennia of evolution, men are attracted to youth and attributes that indicate good genes and the ability to produce healthy children (a certain body shape, health, physical perfection). Women are attracted to status within the “tribe,” the ability to provide for their offspring, and secondarily physical strength (the alpha male within a tribe isn’t necessarily the most handsome but is often the most intelligent). And couples being the same age is a modern trend.”

    It’s all cultural. I wonder how somebody fresh of the boat on planet earth would react to seeing somebody of the opposite sex in a environment devoid of history/art history/evolutionary mambo jambo/culture/society etc and how and who she/he would chose to mate with. But that’s an impossible experiment. The world has been patriarchal forever. In “Dialogues of the great things of Brazil” written in 1601, the author talks about the indigenous population, african slaves and the portuguese there at the time. The indian men usually had more wives while the women could only have one husband. If the women were adulterous, they were beaten. And, when they gave birth, they went back to work while the husband stayed at home in a hammock recovering from the birth his wife gave and receiving visits from the family. The woman was only the receptacle of his seed, nothing else. It’s called couvade. What I’m saying is, women have not been equal to men in history. Why? Is it going to change? I’d like to think so.
    About fertility, I don’t know if that’s a good assumption anymore. That’s all they talk about in art history, not buying it. What’s the answer for people who don’t want to have kids? They’re anomalies?

  296. SugarySpicey says:

    Dorky – my comment was a follow up to my earlier statement about brain development. If an SD chooses to pursue a relationship with a GIRL who is so young, he is responsible for following the campsite doctrine: leave her in better condition than you found her.

    I was mature at 19 and dated a much older man and it is only know that I can see how inappropriate the relationship was, and how much he took advantage of my naïveté. I was nature, but not mature enough to play the adult games he was playing.

    Sugar dating with such a massive age disparity is especially problematic in that the SD now holds all the cards of control and power. There are very few men who will behave themselves when given that much leverage, and very few GIRLS who wouldn’t find their emotional and sexual boundaries breached by such a power imbalance – I believe that power imbalance is exactly what a lot of SDs seek and enjoy.

  297. gtt_envy says:

    @Richard, I would like to hear from SB’s why their arrangements ended! In my experience just solely going off my interactions with previous SB’s they have said the biggest reason it ends is:

    1) SD get’s too attached and they end it!
    2) SD was married and the wife got suspicious
    3) Schedule conflicts

    SB/SD arrangements only lasting 3 months!! I’ve never had one last less then 6 and usually closer to a year. Also my frequency is way down only a weekend a month. If I was seeing a SB 3-4 times a week like some of you guy/gals do I may get bored too after 3 months.

  298. Richard says:

    After millennia of evolution, men are attracted to youth and attributes that indicate good genes and the ability to produce healthy children (a certain body shape, health, physical perfection). Women are attracted to status within the “tribe,” the ability to provide for their offspring, and secondarily physical strength (the alpha male within a tribe isn’t necessarily the most handsome but is often the most intelligent). And couples being the same age is a modern trend.

    That’s good news for successful older men looking to attract beautiful young women. And women often have the ability to overlook physical imperfection in a man with intelligence and strength.

    That said, we are more than our biology. Some of us choose partners based on attributes other than instinctual attraction. And physical beauty can get old very quickly unless there is substance. A lot of this might explain why the average SB/SD relationship seems to last around 3 months.

  299. DorkyGuy says:

    “I still think it’s inappropriate to take advantage of children for your sexual satisfaction.”

    18 is definitely too young for me, but still, implying that a guy is a pedophile when everyone involved is the age of consent rubs me the wrong way. If we are going to imply that men are pedophiles for dating people who the rules state are adults, then let’s figure out the age of adulthood and change it, so that men know the rules for whether they are being pedophiles.

    What do you guys think should be the new age of adulthood?

    If 18 is still a child, then we need to adjust our laws to reflect that. We need to change the age of consent, as well as the legal ages for voting, driving, signing contracts, and making other important decisions for themselves. If they aren’t mature enough to make their own decisions on who to have sex with, then they definitely shouldn’t be able to vote, enlist in the military, or go to war, let alone be drafted. Can we just say that everyone is a child until they are 25? That works for me! Seriously, I would be on-board with that. We should raise the drinking and smoking age at the same time.

  300. KatPaw says:

    @gtt I know I’m not the only woman that feels that way.. Older men just have an aura and gentlemanly way about them that is a turn on for me.

  301. gtt_envy says:

    @katpaw, I would say you are definitely the pink elephant in the room!!

  302. SugarySpicey says:

    Onyx – you’re right, I may appear jaded if you didn’t read the part in my post about being appreciative. I still think it’s inappropriate to take advantage of children for your sexual satisfaction.

    GTT – most of the SDs who contact me I find rather unappealing, but that is because they’re old for their age. Some men however have used their age to improve themselves and become more attractive, more interesting, and more sexually desirable – just like women. I don’t respond to SDs I don’t have a natural sexual interest in. I hope that most SBs feel the same. On that same note, yes a good SB is a good actress. One must be a good actress in order to play the NSA game.

  303. KatPaw says:

    @gtt_envy I my self have always been attracted to older men. I dated men 20-30+ my senior when younger that had nothing to do with “sugar”.

  304. gtt_envy says:

    Everyone is different in the sugar bowl. I’ve met SB’s who wouldn’t think of accepting less than 5k/month and I’ve met SB’s that would fine with $500/month if the SD was good looking younger. We are all different 😉

    With that said I still don’t know how SB’s do it! If you told me I want you to cater, carress, sleep with, and be super interesested in a female 15-30yrs my senior I would say? NOPE NOT INTERESTED AT ALL unless that allowance was very big and the frequency was very low.

    Must be genetics or SB’s are very good actresses and can compartmentalize well.

  305. onyx_percula says:

    @ SD Guru — The Cosmo, Wynn/Encore, Aria all favs in Vages. I was too slow this year, I like the Cosmo’s “view of the fountains” rooms for New Year’s but they are all sold out now.

    I am not saying there aren’t exceptions, the best I have ever had was 18 when we got together. I literally couldn’t walk in the morning after the first time!

    @ Spicey — I think you are being jaded. Experiencing “the things you have always wanted to do” rather it be a safari in Africa or a trip to the grand canyon are equal if they are both something you have always wanted. It’s not about being impressed, its about experiencing joy and excitement, its about sharing in that joy of discovery and satisfaction in achieving something special.

  306. ss1959 says:

    Seeking absolution? No, just thinking out loud. It helps me figure things out sometimes.

  307. SugarySpicey says:

    Plan B: Pick up freelance writing work while I figure out my next move, obsessively crawl the Interwebs applying for better and more exciting opportunities, lunches with professional contacts who are well-connected to find out what’s out there that might be a good fit, rinse, repeat.

  308. FatBastardSA says:

    @Pricey Spicey

    They are probably admiring your other set of lips :-). As for trips, any asshole can get on a plane, the distance just determines how many movies you watch during the flight. I would pick a SB who loves to go riding on a motorcycle any day!

  309. sweetie says:

    Sugary “the bitch is back, f*ck him and the ship he sailed in on. Didn’t even reply to his emails today.”

    That’s my girl! Proud of you. 😉

    • SD Guru says:

      Interesting discussions here in the past few days!

      “Yes, I like young women. They’re fun and full of energy and I enjoy their wide-eyed wonder…”

      You’ve received lots of comments, I’ll just say that as a SD you’re free to pursue what makes you happy in the sugar world. You don’t need other people to agree or approve your choices. The same applies to SB’s as well.

      “In Massachusetts, here is the age distribution for SBs who have logged into SA in the last 24 hours”

      Thanks for the data! It’s no surprise that SB’s 25 and under make up almost two thirds in your survey. I think you’ll find similar distribution in other metro areas, although MA does have a higher percentage of college SB’s. Whether it’s skewed by supply or demand really doesn’t matter as long as there’s a good balance.

      “I took her to the Cosmo for (4) days to celebrate her 21st birthday.”

      I did the exact same thing for my SB two years ago! Cosmo is one of my favorite places in Vegas. You have good taste! 🙂

      “I can speak only for myself here. Most 18-25 year old women are not great lovers, there is no strong incentive from a sexual stand point to seek younger.”

      I’d respectfully disagree with you based on my experience! :mrgreen:


      Sorry to hear about your situation. What’s your plan “B”?

  310. Richard says:

    I messaged you four times in June? And I think I have my range at $10-20k, don’t I? why would you assume the low end? 🙂

  311. SugarySpicey says:

    Yeah, love guys who send an intro message, “I love your smile” ummm, my public photos don’t include my face, what smile do you love? Also love the perpetual SDs offering $10K allowances. Really, in six months you didn’t find someone? I think I’m calling BS on that, though it’s nice of you NOT to remember that you already messaged me four times in June.

  312. SugarySpicey says:

    Sweetie – the bitch is back, f*ck him and the ship he sailed in on. Didn’t even reply to his emails today.

  313. SugarySpicey says:

    This is a difference between the sexes, I find it silly to be impressed by some girl oooing and ahhing over a motorcycle course or a trip to Vegas. How low brow!

    Should she be appreciative, yes. Should she be impressed, no. Any girl in the sugar bowl will eventually get taken on a trip to Las Vegas – it’s the trip to Shanghai that should make her gush. No offense, but a trip to Las Vegas is for rookies. 😉

  314. onyx_percula says:

    @ Spicey — It’s not being impressed by the simple things that SS mentioned.

    An example of how that lack of experience can create a treasured memory.

    One of my recent SBs had not been to Vegas since she was 8 and then it was just the family driving thru and making the drive down the strip before getting back on the highway.

    I took her to the Cosmo for (4) days to celebrate her 21st birthday. We went to Cirque shows, seen Garth Brooks had a couples spa day and went to a club one night. All of it was new to her and was something she had wanted to do for years.

    Another example, same SB. She has always wanted to ride motorcycles but her parents wouldn’t have any of it. So I put her through a training/safety class, she got her M endorsement. I rented bikes for us on weekends and now she is saving to buy her first bike.

    Another, same SB again. She is adrenaline nut. So we did a race school day. We got to rip up a road course in modified vets. Yes, she beat me 3 out of 5 races, lol.

    Could she have done these one day her self, sure, would she have maybe, its not always just money holding someone back. She was able to reach out and share her passions and dreams. I was able to help make some of those dreams come true. It is also true that age isn’t necessarily the defining factor here, but the odds that someone 25-35 having as many or as “easily do’able” things is decreasingly smaller the older she is.

    From the perverted part that seems to be being hinted at… I can speak only for myself here. Most 18-25 year old women are not great lovers, there is no strong incentive from a sexual stand point to seek younger.

  315. sweetie says:

    How many of the late 20s – early 30s do you think have their age younger?

  316. Richard says:

    This has been a long week! Found time to do some more completely unscientific research today (a short but extremely boring phone call). In Massachusetts, here is the age distribution for SBs who have logged into SA in the last 24 hours (age range – number of SBs):

    18-21 – 80
    22-25 – 69
    26-29 – 42
    30-33 – 16
    34-37 – 7
    38-41 – 11
    42-45 – 10
    46-98 – 2

    Not sure if it’s skewed by supply or demand. I do find it interesting, no time to say why right now.

  317. KatPaw says:

    It is not is it. Lol

  318. KatPaw says:

    Zack “is it really that important that a woman be impressed by such inconsequential things as room service and Grand Central?”

    Is it important for a woman to be impressed… But truthfully how many woman are going to be impressed with “room service” now grand central is kinda amazing lol. Too many people don’t stop to see the beauty of the building..

  319. sweetie says:

    Sugary, I think you’re finally back! Your last blog page is all you, the long lost Sugary I like. Now if I see one more praising of TP, I’ll get on a plane to Utah and whoop yo’ ass.

  320. Zack says:

    Hmm. So…what am I doing this Friday night.

  321. Zack says:

    re: is it really that important that a woman be impressed …

    I think, yes.

  322. sweetie says:

    Seeing the variety of answers to SS’ situation, makes me feel better about what I said. I was trying to be as little harsh as possible. Feeling rather bitchy today, dear bloggers. I’m exhausted, and I think I bombed my exam. 🙁

  323. KatPaw says:

    Bravo SugarySpicey!

  324. SugarySpicey says:

    Question, which may make me sound like a bitch (wouldn’t be the first time): is it really that important that a woman be impressed by such inconsequential things as room service and Grand Central? I ask this because even at 14, neither would have impressed me – I’d already been there, done that.

    Sounds like what you want is a status differential, where you are the sophisticated “elite” and she is the impressionable “innocent” without your having to put in much effort. Maybe you want a very young, or very poor, girl who will find even little things (like room service) as impressive.

    What a man can buy me impresses for a moment, what he can teach me impresses for a lifetime – and neither money, nor age, puts a man in a position to teach me something – that comes with earned experience.

  325. onyx_percula says:

    @ ss1959 bravo bother. Spicey has some really solid advise there. She her what its like to be with a mature man in a mature relationship, show her the world and revel in it.

    As long as you are going in with eyes wide open and are keeping her eyes wide open too things should be fine. Myself I always kind of set my expectation that anything sugar or not with 18 to about 25’ish is not likely to last all that long. It can, but no or lowered expectations are in your favor.

    About your general question of preference to SB age… I have been attracted to 18 to 30 something women since I was in my mid teens. So in the sugar bowl my SBs have been in that same age range. Teen is fun but doesn’t tend to last and be CAREFUL like Spicey was saying. My new SB is just shy of 30, she is incredible, treats me like a king, couldn’t ask for more/better. On the down side, there is a lot of “been there, done that already”, the golden lining is she is pretty good an picking things to do…

  326. DorkyGuy says:

    I suppose once I reach a certain age, I won’t care what people think if they see me with a much younger woman when I am out in public. I am not there yet.

  327. Richard says:

    No judgment, but I any girl (she’s obviously not a woman yet) who is wide-eyed in wonder at Grand Central Terminal or room service would be *much* too young for me. I enjoy mentoring and teaching, but that’s way over the line for me. YMMV.

    Just out of curiosity, it wouldn’t bother you to take someone 35 years younger than you to a Broadway play as a “date?” Would you hold hands and act as a couple?

  328. Zack says:

    SS, you are beginning to sound as though you are seeking absolution. Wrong place for that. She’s over 18, so as one of our Ladies mentioned, you take responsibility, and well…just that.

    Guidelines should be distilled wisdom. Every is different (duh). Just don’t be stupid, for your own sake at least… You seem to have good moral instincts. Know your mind, take your time, do no harm. Have fun.

    (ok, who put that soapbox here?)

    Myself, I seem to have always preferred ladies about the same age. 28+/- 4. More or less 😛

  329. sweetie says:

    SS “Yes, I like young women. They’re fun and full of energy and I enjoy their wide-eyed wonder at things like room service or going to a Broadway show or walking through Grand Central Terminal. ”

    Whatever rocks your boat. Ingenue. I find this predatory. Sorry, please don’t be offended. Just my own issue with it.

  330. ss1959 says:

    Re: 19 and 22 and 54. Yes, I am 54. Yes, I feel there *can be* quite a difference between 19 and 22. There is a lot of maturation going on in the late teens and early 20’s. Someone can still be pretty much a child at 19 but well on the way to full adulthood at 22. To put it another way, I think there can be great variability in how mature someone is at 19.

    To her credit the SB in question did tell me her real age of her own volition, and before we even started to discuss meeting. I did tell her that I have reservations, and if we were to meet face to face and I felt she wasn’t mature enough for this type of relationship I would tell her so and we would part ways. I also told her I would need to see her id to ensure she isn’t underage.

    We have spent a good deal of time in conversation and she does come across as mature and with a good grasp of what she is doing. We’ll see if it still feels that way once we actually meet and talk in person.

    Yes, I like young women. They’re fun and full of energy and I enjoy their wide-eyed wonder at things like room service or going to a Broadway show or walking through Grand Central Terminal. Maybe it’s because I’m married so I already have all that stuff that comes with a mature relationship, including the boring stuff. (And yes, I am right out in the open about my age, my income, my marital status, and everything else.)

  331. Zack says:

    Many 20 year olds Sofia Vergara not Spicey, but would loose out to be Pricey I think.

    Sorry, bored again 🙂

  332. FatBastardSA says:


    Age requirements for SB’s depend on the fantasy the SD is looking for. Some want the illusion that the SB could be a real romantic partner which means the SB needs to be able to go out and do the things (like drinking) the SD would want to do with a GF.

    I am not sure if SB’s have these problems. Many profiles from young SB’s claim to want chemistry but I don’t know if that is just a ploy to avoid having intimate relations for as long as possible :-).

    I am a bit of a pig so for me age is secondary to how sexy i think the SB is. I hate to agree with Pricey Spicey, but Sofia Vergara would be not loose out to many 20 year olds I think.

  333. sweetie says:

    NC “Second, if it isn’t such a big deal, why wouldn’t she just list her real age?”
    The same reason SS does not want to go out with a 19 yo, but would with a 22.

  334. Zack says:

    Re: Lying. Hmm, that’s at least compound and complex, sigh. “White lies” to aspirations, defenses to prudence, honor to dignity… Would it be obvious to suggest that “lying” issues will last as long as this site? I suppose honest communication, grace and fairness are good directions to start with.

    Re: Budgets (past weeks). Gentlemen, try starting here: Set your budget per month. If you go over, less next month, vice versa. Cut it in half. Half is what you can offer a pot SB in cash as compensation or incentive (our money). Half is your fund for expenses, including both person’s travel, food, entertainment, crises, transfer costs, lawyers and rehabilitation. I’m thinking it may tend that if the cash negotiations work out, the expenses half will become more flexible and the relationship can be mutually beneficial and open ended. Just an idea,

    Re: Negotiations, Ladies. Good reasons and persuasive force. Not whining, begging or desperation…fair equivalents and desires conveyed in a manner implicitly showing self-respect and appreciation. “I take home $x per week, My job suxs and I’d rather take more classes. Anyway, would you like to meet next week? ….I’ve got a few ideas,” (grin) etc.

    @Richard, Sweetie: I envy you, sigh. I was completely clueless in high school. Missed all sorts of opportunities; my fault. (Anyone else ever feel like that?) Still, I feel as though I could have been buried under a parking lot until my separation. Which is baggage, I wonder?

    @ SuSp mk I: lessee…10% in the body, 90% in the head. Shooting for 110%, so 200% score on body= not a bad start, the brain still has to be pretty good to hit your 80%. Long term relations are not 50/50 deals. They’re two people giving 80% for 20% the effort…both. srry gtg, telcomm jumping, lol

  335. KatPaw says:

    Agree with you on that NC Gent!

  336. NC Gent says:

    ok last post on this…. first, the alcohol issue alone is sufficient reason. Second, if it isn’t such a big deal, why wouldn’t she just list her real age?

  337. sweetie says:

    besides the, not de. sorry.

  338. sweetie says:

    NC, I was saying besides de alcohol issue, what’s the big deal? As long as she’s 18 or over, why does it matter if it’s 19 or 22? Yeah, she lied. Hopefully she actually is 19, and not doing something stupid like get other people in trouble with the law.
    But, if an SD is fine with 22, why such a surprise to find out she’s 19? She’s still a kid after all, only at 22 she can have a drink.

  339. NC Gent says:

    Sweetie – so if an SB put her age as 21+ and she looks younger than 21, you don’t think an SD should inquire? If an SD is going to be drinking alcohol with her, he is opening himself up to a ton of liability, and if he is a real SD he likely has quite a bit to lose.

  340. KatPaw says:

    @ SugarySpicey love your blog!! Have me hooked! Lol I can’t wait to hear about all the fun with the new profile going live!!!

  341. sweetie says:

    Honestly, ever since living in a college town I’ve had an aversion about telling my true age. It just bothers me, everybody is in shock when I tell them. So I started lying about it, just so they shut up. I don’t understand why people feel the need to ask someone his/her age.

  342. SugarySpicey says:

    Better to look great for 40 than rough for 35! I play with my age (less than 10%) just to preserve anonymity. But I’ve earned every one of my years and wouldn’t respect a man who didn’t enjoy that fact. But, I tend to date men who are interested in my brain 1st, my body 2nd – perverts, I know.

  343. NC Gent says:

    Sweetie — I agree 1.5 decades is quite a bit to slice. Personally, I don’t care if someone shaves up to 10%… so if you are 30 and you put 27 no big deal… you start shaving 30%…. that is a problem to me, but everyone tolerances are different. The woman who is 55 and put 40 looks early 50s to me.

  344. sweetie says:

    NC Gent “and it is ironic, because you often see (from pictures) that SBs in their late 20s early 30s often appear to slice their age downward.”

    So true. Maybe because they think they’re at a disadvantage among all the other early 20s… Or, they just feel/wish they were the age they put in the profile. In the end, how much does it matter? 40 to 55 is quite a lot, I doubt she actually looks 40. If she does, good for her. Now late 20 instead of early 30s, I don’t know. Is there a big difference?

  345. Richard says:

    When I was 17 and a high school senior I started sleeping with the cheerleading coach. She was 34 and VERY hot. I didn’t feel like she was taking advantage of me! I was fully aware and responsible for my actions, and we had a lot of fun. On the other hand, it was definitely an NSA relationship and didn’t last long.

    If you’re 54 and date a 19 year old just don’t have any illusions about what it’s about (for you and her). You’ll look ridiculous on a romantic date or everyone will assume she’s your daughter. And God help you if emotional attachment develops. That said, you’re both consenting adults, I wouldn’t judge you.

  346. SugarySpicey says:

    19 is young. Her brain isn’t even fully formed until 25. If you’re going to proceed (I would suggest you not) then you need to treat this relationship like it is: you are the adult, she is the child. YOU have to be responsible for both of your mental health and welfare – that means YOU are responsible for birth control, for discussing and managing how to keep things casual, and how her allowance is spent and saved for the future. Anything less and you’re taking advantage of a child.

  347. KatPaw says:

    See I personally see no reason to lie about my marriage status or my age. I don’t wish to be any younger then I am and see no reason to pretend otherwise. That’s just me I am an up front person. That’s what I think part of the beauty of a SD/SB relationship no need to be false.

  348. Zack says:

    Age is mandatory, maturity is optional.

    Sweetie’s right…if she’s worried about her age and you’re worried about her age and now we’re worrying about you worrying about her …blech.

    Keep it a civil learning experience for you both. Be a friend and consider more in 6 months or after she gets some reality checks. Play a long game, take your time to learn about shaping contacts. Open another contact.

    I assume SS19 is 54, but at this point, I think the contact under consideration is more about a yellow flag issue morphing into a red flag warning by virtue of early relationship dynamics… please be aware of warning signs and anticipate a learning experience, lol.

  349. NC Gent says:

    Sweetie — from talking to my other SD friends, they actually prefer SBs in their mid- to late- 20s. My SD friends are in their mid-40s to early 50s. Most SBs on the site are in their early 20s unfortunately.

  350. NC Gent says:

    Regarding lies, I think Sugar Spicey summed it up pretty well…. I think both sides lie, and it is just how much misrepresentation you can tolerate. I know of an SB profile of a woman who works in my professional field. She has her age listed in her profile as 40 when I know in fact she is 55. When I was looking for an SB recently, I met a woman who had was listed as 30 and single, and at lunch she revealed she is 40 and married. I spent three weeks texting, meeting, and emailing an SB. We finally went out on an evening date. At 9:45 pm, she starts acting like her car is going to turn into a pumpkin if she doesn’t leave immediately…. my “single” SB later revealed she was married and hubby was texting her to get home soon.

    Which brings a double standard that exists out there IMHO…. if an SD lies about his relationship status, the prevailing view is that there should be hell to be paid, when an SB lies about her relationship status, she is protecting her interests; it is NSA; her other life is private. go fiure…

    and lastly… I prefer an SB to be 21 an older, and my preferred age range is late 20s to early 30s. It is really hard to find someone in my desired age range though…. and it is ironic, because you often see (from pictures) that SBs in their late 20s early 30s often appear to slice their age downward.

    ** rant over **

  351. sweetie says:

    How old are you, SS? Other than her not being able to have a drink, what exactly bothers you about her age? 22 is not that far from 19, after all. It’s funny how being a woman over 25 is many times seen as a negative on SA, SDs prefer them early 20s. I don’t get it.

  352. sweetie says:

    @SS1959 “On her profile she says she is 22, but she just revealed that she is only 19. Geez, that’s awfully young. How do other SD’s feel about such a young SB?”

    Based on your reaction, I think you know the answer. Too young, move on to someone whose age you’re comfortable with.

  353. KatPaw says:

    @Zack When she has already lied once about her age.. You can’t be to careful. You can always go someplace that is over 18 so they card her for you. Lol I have a friend who long ago got into trouble for a girl lying about her age.

  354. Zack says:

    Is it permissible, and under what circumstances might it be wise, for a gentleman to (ask to?) see a pot SB’s driver’s license?

  355. KatPaw says:

    @ Ss1959 being so young she won’t be able to enjoy a drink out with you or enter any place that’s over 21. Plus I’d card her make sure she really is 19. Advice from a woman that remembers being a 19 year old girl.. They don’t tend to be rational or have control over emotions. Most are still pretty immature ( depends on life experiences many are older before their time.) Tread carefully with one so young.

  356. Zack says:

    2nd reaction:

    SS19, act like a gentleman, and you’ll be much tougher to scam. lol

  357. Zack says:

    First reaction SS19:

    Please be careful. If she hid her age like that, she’s at least worried about it. Try to be a gentleman. Communicate; teach do not exploit…

    Don’t ruin her for the rest of us, 🙂

  358. ss1959 says:

    Re: lying in profiles. I’ve been messaging with a potential new SB for the last couple of days. On her profile she says she is 22, but she just revealed that she is only 19. Geez, that’s awfully young. How do other SD’s feel about such a young SB?

  359. sweetie says:

    Only when you end up with the prize.

  360. SugarySpicey says:

    Sweetie, the chase is half the fun. 😉

  361. SugarySpicey says:

    Ahh, Softi – that was almost sweet.

    Having a rough one right now.

  362. sweetie says:

    Oh, you two! Richard, why do you need to see her profile at this point? You know you’re drooling, just close the deal. Already know plenty and approve of her looks and she of your profile. Easy choice in my book.

  363. FatBastardSA says:

    Pricey Spicey is finally available! Unfortunately the shoe business is not going well and I tend to leave skid marks (don’t want to traumatize Spicey twice) otherwise I would be all over her, literally.

    As for the Pirate, well a line from my favorite movie sums it up quite nicely I think…


  364. SugarySpicey says:

    Oh Richard, the sharks are definitely circling. 😉

  365. Richard says:

    Waiting with bated breath for Sugary’s profile to be approved…but based on the photos I’ve seen…and her blog…well, let’s just say her mailbox will be full quickly and I’d better move quickly if I want even the ghost of a chance!

  366. SugarySpicey says:

    Lol, Sweetie – remember when you used to get annoyed with me for being too Spicey, now I’m too Sugary! When will I find equilibrium?

  367. CushPrincess says:

    Hello SDs/SBs, I’ve been following the blog for a couple of weeks now and just thought I’d at least say hi.

    @Sweetie, your comment to Sugary made me laugh but I think she’s just complimenting his profile. IMHO, whether he’s been completely honest in his profile is an entirely different matter.

  368. sweetie says:

    Sugary, don’t put him up on a pedestal just yet. Or we might witness TP part 2.

  369. SugarySpicey says:

    IMHO – most SDs lie about something, most SBs lie about something. The trick is, finding the liar you’re compatible with.

    Regarding Richard’s profile – he has no competition. Yowza!!!!

  370. sweetie says:

    Richard “I can’t search SD profiles as far as I know. Plus, how much fun could it be to look at a bunch of fat, old, balding white guys lying about their age and income level?”

    Sugar babies have an option to view similar profiles, that’s how we get to peruse the competition… Thought SDs have the same feature. The fun would be to see where you stand among those “fat, old, balding white guys lying about their age and income level,” how they present themselves, so next time you marvel at the lack of SB potentials, remind yourself SBs have it worse solely on ratio. There’s no easy breezy.

  371. ax753753 says:

    Regarding SS1959’s question: “…do you really think most SD’s lie about their age and income?” Do my great surprise, SD’s lie ALL THE TIME about their ages. I’d say only 1 in 5 gives their true age.

  372. ax753753 says:

    Regarding KatPaw’s question: “If a pot SD says ” I give x for allowance, plus gifts,shopping and trips” and the allowance is very agreeable should you really bother to negotiate?”
    I hope what the SD offers from the start is fair. It feels too much like a business transaction if I have to negotiate. If they make me do that, I already don’t think things will work out.

  373. SugarySpicey says:

    Thanks Dorky, related and not – I’ve been distracted and a mess for the past six months. The work thing, well it was time, and I’m sure I’ll be fine. If not, I’ll find an SD, lol – I’m a cat, it’ll all work out somehow. I was looking for a man when I found one, and a job when I got the one I had – neither of them took more than a month.

  374. SugarySpicey says:

    Richard, aww I’m sure I blogged enough good about the Pirate too, I mean I eulogized the guy’s penis!

  375. SugarySpicey says:

    Funny – I wrote in my new profile that I am not a prostitute and SA flagged that as inappropriate and I had to rewrite. Hmmmm 😉

  376. SoutherSB says:

    You are not going to believe what happened to me. I thought I had an arrangement with this sweet guy in my town. Anyway we met up did the deed and he gave me my gift. We agreed that we would see each other once a week. Well he told me that he had to get an operation and he wouldn’t be able to see me for a while. That was all good and well, I understood. I tried to call him several times but his phone was off so I left him a couple of sweet “get well soon” messages.
    Well, last night I get this phone call from some guy I had never heard of before saying that he met me on one of the websites. When I asked him which one he couldn’t tell me. After about 10 minutes of going back and forth about who he was and where I could have spoken to him, he finally told me that his “friend” had given him my number. I could have spit!! How dare anyone give out my number!! I am not some two bit prostitute!!! This man had no right to give my number to anyone!! Oh well, live and learn, I guess. Next time I’ll be more careful.

  377. KatPaw says:

    @ SugarySpicey, aww I am so sorry about the job!! And the single thing.. Well maybe for best. I’m sure once your profile goes live your inbox will be flooded!

  378. DorkyGuy says:

    @Spicey, sorry to hear about the transitions, both on the employment front and relationship front. Hopefully the two events weren’t related! At any rate, I hope it becomes a good opportunity for a fresh start.

  379. Richard says:

    I’m more scared about what YOU would blog about…I’m not into hearing all my faults and foibles presented to the world! 🙂

  380. DorkyGuy says:

    As others have noted before, most SD profiles probably have inaccurate financial info. Fake SDs will often overstate their financials, and real SDs will often understate their financials.

  381. SugarySpicey says:

    Richard – be careful what you ask for, you just might get it, and then what would you have to blog about 😉

  382. ss1959 says:

    @Richard do you really think most SD’s lie about their age and income? I didn’t and don’t see the point so I just tell the truth about everything. Any significant exaggeration in either department will soon become apparent anyway.

  383. Richard says:

    I can’t search SD profiles as far as I know. Plus, how much fun could it be to look at a bunch of fat, old, balding white guys lying about their age and income level?

  384. sweetie says:

    Richard, go ahead and do a SD profile screening and let us know the result of your research. I bet it’s the same, actually maybe a bit worse.

  385. Richard says:

    Sugary – I’m certain it will be exceptional! But why waste time, I’m right here…let’s set up an arrangement NOW. 😉

  386. SugarySpicey says:

    Just created a new profile. Now that I am unemployed (well, about to be, that firing came today instead) and single – might as well figure out something to fill my time. I’ll be curious how you’d review mine when it goes live, Richard.

  387. Richard says:

    Just did a quick survey of 50 random SB profiles in the US and Canada (was on a boring conference call…lol). I only looked at profiles “with photos” and didn’t choose only verified profiles. Here’s what I found:

    6 had photos badly cropped or unclear.
    none had fake photos that I could tell.
    7 had completely unrealistic expectations ($10k allowance, no sex, etc).
    1 was obviously a scam.
    32 had profiles so generic they could have been written by the same person. Absolutely nothing unique or interesting revealed, like bad match.com profiles. No indication of what they wanted out of a SD and what they would provide in return (does anyone not “like to have fun” and so on?).
    9 were what I would consider decent profiles. None were of interest to me, but they presented themselves clearly and well and made themselves unique in some way.

    I wonder what a similar survey of SD profiles would find?

    Next time I’m bored and listening to someone talk for the sake of talking, I’ll do the same thing but limit it to verified profiles. And then maybe those 29 or over.

  388. flyr says:

    I got a question in the mail regarding my comment about preemptive marketing

    My recommendation is look at this like you are selling an elegant car……

    Qualify the customer but subtly

    Make sure the customer is sold on the need before the economic discussion begins. It’s not a negotiation in the auction sense but an opportunity for the gentleman to demonstrate his appreciation of value and his worth .

  389. SouthernSBgirl says:

    Meant *every and *go

  390. SouthernSBgirl says:

    @KatPaw — If you’re happy with the offer — take it ! No need to negotiate. My very first SD I ever met was also the most upfront and gentlemanly . He made me a great offer at our first dinner and told me to go home and think about it ( also gave me an envelope at dinner with a nice gift , I opened it in the car and almost fainted , lol ) I accepted the very next day and we never discussed $ again and had a great arrangement for over a year. Everyone once in awhile you get lucky , got for it. Only thing I do recommend is don’t do anything out of your character ( give out personal information ) before you meet in person .
    Other than that — be happy , sounds like a good one ! 🙂

  391. Zack says:

    Jenn, The topic pictures are usually so…tasteful. what happened with this one? geez.

  392. flyr says:

    KatP “@ flyr he did word it nicer it was more along the lines ” I like to gift x as allowance” ”

    That’s what happens when preemptive marketing neuters the SD’s negotiating instinct .

  393. SugarySpicey says:

    Kat – he’s very open with his misbehavior. Strange.

  394. KatPaw says:

    Ohh and btw women can “cum” when a woman squirts she is ejaculating. 😉

  395. KatPaw says:

    Thank you SugarySpicey I’m going to have to read your blog! I have noticed your reference in many posts. Very odd about the Pirate but was he not also posting about exploits overseas..

  396. SugarySpicey says:

    Move forward then Kat, sometimes you strike sugar gold! I’ve been lucky a time or two – great SD relationships are out there.

  397. KatPaw says:

    @ SugarySpicey I haven’t received any “red flags” that scary me. The allowance is an amount I’d be happy with. I was agreeable to all he offered and how he did it.

  398. SugarySpicey says:

    The Pirate reads my blog and posts links to his Facebook page. I find that so weird! Seems he wouldn’t want everyone in his network to know that story. Perplexing!

  399. KatPaw says:

    @ flyr he did word it nicer it was more along the lines ” I like to gift x as allowance” as well as other terms of how when of the allowance and did ask if it was agreeable to me. 😉

  400. SugarySpicey says:

    If you’re happy, let it go, I don’t agree with allowance negotiations, I think it makes things too transactional. Let him treat you well, and say thank you – then only be intimate with him when you actually, genuinely want to be intimate. Hopefully, that’s every time he does!

  401. flyr says:

    KatPaw – Sometimes the best negotiating strategy is to say yes. Perhaps ask that it be reopened in a few months.

    I’m a little stressed at him saying “I give” rather than my experience is that x is the right number

  402. KatPaw says:

    Ok here is a question I have. If a pot SD says ” I give x for allowance, plus gifts,shopping and trips” and the allowance is very agreeable should you really bother to negotiate?

  403. JennSA says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog…