7 years ago
Number One Rule for Sugar Babies


I’m still caught by surprise, by the number of Sugar Babies on the blog who are having sex on the first date and then wondering why he didn’t follow through with an arrangement. Ladies, no matter how good his offer sounds, or how many drinks you’ve had… never ever give it up on the first date.

This should be a general rule of thumb in any manner of dating. But especially when money is exchanging hands, or a financial arrangement is on the table. Sex is going to be a part of most sugar arrangements, but that doesn’t mean it has to start with it. All men generally aspire to sleep with a woman they are interested in, that’s the whole point of dating. But he can’t expect you to give it up on the first date, and you can’t expect him to respect you if you do.

Take the time to get to know each other, and build the anticipation  up for intimacy. Never sell yourself short, or treat your relationship like a transaction. Sex with a Sugar Daddy should be enjoyable; something you want to do, not something you feel like you have to do.

Ladies: If you’ve ever intimate with your sugar daddies, how long do you wait? 

Men: what do you think about sex on a first date?  What are your chances of going out on date number 2? 



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663 Responses to “Number One Rule for Sugar Babies”

  1. Charis lui says:

    I am looking for someone who can truly understand me

  2. ibrahim mohammed says:

    i am a young guy who seem not to have luck in relationships because every lady i go in for seem to cheat on me. so i thought it wise to come to this site so that i can get a sugarmummy to have fun with. i need to change my life a bit because i have suffered alot. i can fuck realy well. my contact is 0279751902

  3. SeeksExcellence says:

    Silly topic and lends itself to every shallow piece of advice out there. There is no one-size-fits-all arrangement or situation. There is no silver bullet solution to keeping someone’s interest apart from simply being interesting.

    You should do whatever you and your SD/SM feel comfortable doing; no more, no less. Offering, rationing, or withholding sex only defines sex as your coin no matter how you split hairs. And that makes you an escort, not a sugar baby.

    The sugar relationship is about genuinely enjoying each other’s company and respecting that you have complimentary, not competing, assets and needs.

  4. masha says:

    Honestly, I haven’t really considered becoming a sugar baby nor am do I judge those who are. I just think that some ladies take for granted what they are offered. LV, D&G, Channel etc… yes its all lux and all nice to have. My point is: instead of buying object why not take the same amount daddies spend on designer materials and invest it into putting the girls through school?

  5. katie bear says:

    Hi everyone im new to this but I think it really doesn’t matter if you sleep with your sd on the first date because if you feel a connection why let rules decide what you should or shouldn’t do.

  6. CaribSB says:

    I’m 20 (21 in a month yay right?!) and I only date men in in their 50’s or maybe late 40’s. Even without sugar. I enjoy the sex much better and I’m a sub and they make great Dom’s. I have sex whenever I feel like it. I have slept with a SD on first date and he doesn’t make me leave without slipping a “gift” into my purse. Which I kind of didn’t like because it felt like prostitution. But I guess that’s why he didn’t put it in my hand so I wouldn’t feel weird. I’ve had guys tell me straight up they expected sex. I say if the chemistry is good and I want to then I will. My last SD was very upfront and so was I.

  7. SugarD says:

    Above should have been @SugarSpicey

  8. SugarD says:

    @SugarD – “it isn’t that we don’t think it’s part of the equation, it’s that we still want to be seduced a little. Even if a girl says ” purely platonic” that’s just a starting point.”

    You’d be surprised how many girls here thinks otherwise. Especially young girls who seem to think this place is where you get to be treated and given allowance for ermm … just looking pretty. And when you bring up sex they bring up the morality card :D.

    Nowadays too many young girls are signing up to rinse guys not interested in genuine arrangements.

  9. SugarySpicey says:

    Candy – have sex when you’re authentically excited about having sex. And, to ensure your SD holds up his end of the deal, get whatever gift$ are promised before your panties hit the floor. 😉

  10. Candygirl says:

    When is it okay to have sex?
    I’m new to this. And how do you ensure
    the SD holds up his end of the bargain

    • Simone says:

      I personally avoid sex on the first date. Do it when you’re comfortable and excited about it. What this article is really trying to say is that there are a looooot of men out there who are really sex driven and you should never let anyone take advantage of you or objectify you. You are a queen. You have value. Every person does. If they are willing to give you coin and you haven’t even dropped your panties, you know they’re reaaaaally into you. Sex is a part of most arrangements. You just have to make sure you’re giving it up when you’re comfortable making sure they’re respecting you. Many of the men I’ve encountered ultimately don’t respect me if they’re trying to get sex out of me on the first date.

  11. Serenity says:

    I dont think sex matters if its gonna happen anyways, i think its about morals, character and the business proposal / support agreement UPFRONT… to focus on the chemistry after stipulations have been met.

  12. Nikki says:

    I usually lose interest if I don’t sleep with the girl on the first date. This advice may be alright for the majority of guys, but it’s the opposite for me. Everyone is different, you have to read each person and each situation, not subscribe to closed minded blog posts like this one.

  13. OK-SD says:

    I have never suggested sex to any SB first. The serious ones know what needs to happen for the arrangement to start, and to continue. The game-players will try to get as much up front from putting out.

    I don’t usually engage with SBs who are not really SB. The older the SB, the more games she will play because she has had more men screwed her over compared to a younger woman. It is the nature of the “beast” I guess, whether in the SD/SB space or in other relationships spaces. LOL! So her bad choices in men and subsequent experiences with those men should not cost me my hard earned dollars in silly games or “I am worth this, that and the other above and beyond the clearly agreed-upon arrangement.”

    My criteria to keep an arrangement going is if my SB makes me feel good when I am around her. If that happens, then I know how to get a woman to bed if I wanted to. I just like the SB to take the initiative. That’s just me. Others have their own style. To each is own… 🙂

  14. BS says:

    This is a good post and it works both ways – a man who is easy i.e. i sleep with him on the first date- very often, i loose interest. That is me. Now to the subject:
    It is slap in the face for a guy to sleep with a woman in this arrangement situation and not call her/or at least send her a small financial gift to end the affair if he is no longer interested.
    I strongly believe in karma and men who are single and miserable in their older years, and even die alone, are ones who have been terrible to women. Sometimes they invite bad diseases by being bad people/cancer/heart conditions etc – some of these diseases are due to bad karma.

    We all know what this is – it is an arrangement at the end of the day..not the usual dating. So if a man sleeps with her on the first day and doesn’t call or follow up with a gift – then two things should happen. 1. Call him and collect, whether he turns it around on you and calls you a whore – who cares, as long as he has kept the end of the bargain. He cannot tap the P and then decide, that now the arrangement is off. By sleeping with you, he has started the arrangement – therefore, he should give you something even if he doesn’t want to follow through with the relationship. 2. If he refuses to give you the gift – then don’t worry – your silent curse will really hurt his business dealings and his life. Mean you say? no not mean at all – what he did to you is what would be regarded as mean. You are not the author of Karma – God, is. So look to him in this situation and then move on to the next guy.

    Now to the men:
    Try your level best not to leave unfinished business along the way – such as this because in it is a curse. Live your life in absolute honesty – be straight with the woman. i.e. “by sleeping with you – doesn’t mean we are not starting this relationship but i will give you something etc etc” – that is honorable especially if you are not into her and just want to f her. Then follow through and give her a good token. Don’t leave such bad feelings along the way – it will hurt you in the end and you will never know what happened because you will not be able to put your hand on it/ or even relate the two.

    When you are good a good person and live well – good things follow you. When you are honest and kind – God shines your path.

    • Simone says:

      AGREED!!! Like don’t get with me with the premise that this will be a relationship and then turn me into a call girl 🙄 I came here for an arrangement, NOT a one night stand

  15. DarkHorseSD says:

    There are those things you can say when SB is pouring through clothing racks and then there are those things you can say at the dinner table.

  16. sweetie says:

    Funny, Horsey. Do you use it now, though? If so, how well does it work?

  17. ax753753 says:

    @ DarkHorseSD: That’s Classic! Thanks for the laugh.

  18. DorkyGuy says:

    @DarkHorseSD~ LOL!!!

  19. DarkHorseSD says:

    Something I never said on a date before the smartphone existed:

    “Someone attacked me and my Hobbits are starving, so I really have to deal with this.”

  20. NC Gent says:

    Sorry you got caught up in this IWLCG. Personally, I am very happy the site is finally doing something about escorts. Several years ago when I reported them, they usually did nothing, especially if the escort was a premium member.

  21. jazmin says:

    hello everyone am new to the blog and enjoying it a lot so far….

  22. DarkHorseSD says:

    SD Guru: Things evened out. Apparently there are entire stores that don’t carry sizes small enough for SB.

    Or did they?

  23. DarkHorseSD says:

    ILWCG – I would insist SA provide back up to its claim, then pursue the problem and get back to them with the truth.

    This jibes with something I wanted to say. Looking around now, I have the impression SA has cleaned up a bit. I wonder if its true and what they’ve been doing.

  24. SugarySpicey says:

    One would hope. Off to the next blog …

  25. flyr says:

    I had presumed that 1.5 had occurred

  26. SugarySpicey says:

    Genuine – the question is, why is she talking about others? Does she know you have serious intent? Have you discussed an arrangement, met, had hot passionate sex? Until at least one of those three things has happened she has to think you’re just kicking tires and she can’t take you seriously.

  27. flyr says:

    BG I agree that it’s all in the way it is presented………

  28. flyr says:

    ILWCG – Most likely the photo was taken from here and used for an escort site (very common) and SA used one of the many programs to search for photos
    tin eye etc.

    You should search tin eye or another photo search program to see who is using the photo.

    Probably create a new id here using a different credit card or email account
    If you are able to find the photo and a link you might be able to convince the site that it was not you.

  29. Beach_Girl says:

    Flyr~ i’m not sure about that, if she told him she was honest, if he doesn’t like it, he could tell her. just saying…

  30. flyr says:

    Just to clarify – I assume a pot is talking to others but I think it is bad form to toss it out as a negotiating tool. Kind of like the attorney or broker who is always reminding you that there are others interested in the deal. Our response in those situations is generally the same – we’re here , we’re proven-we do what we say we will do and we do not re-negotiate unless there were misrepresentations. Call when you are ready to make a deal.

  31. ILoveWestCoastGirl says:


    I wanted to log in again and my profile is closed for 2 months now.

    First it said “your photos were used at pro site”

    Which can not be true.

    Then support wrote me that I am a pro.

    How can I re-open my account ? it is still suspended .

    there are so many pros and all kind of people at the SA and only I am is a dangerous person here.
    What to do ?
    I wrote to support numerous times, now they just do not answer.


  32. Beach_Girl says:

    Genuine~ I would talk to her, if she is telling you maybe there is a reason

    Wow, really, you all don’t’ have more than one pot SD or pot SB that you are talking to?
    I’m stunned actually, most you talk about have a few pots and it’s ok??? But his pot SB can’t? odd… very odd
    Even Spicey have more than one pot SD in the works… sheeshh

  33. sweetie says:

    Genuine, I’m with Flyr on this one. Let her go.

  34. flyr says:

    Re Pot who talks about others being considered

    I think getting into a “bidding contest” seldom results in a great relationship.

    I have enjoyed our time together . It sounds like you have other interests and I wish you well.

    I think being “too cute” is a mistake that both sd and sb s make .

  35. GenuineSD says:

    A bit of perspective from the blog please?
    What should I make of a pot-SB that keeps telling me stories about her other pot-SDs?
    Am I being given a hint ?

    • SD Guru says:

      “What is my Internet body type?”

      Well, if you must know, “athletic” of course. It’s the number one choice among SD’s! :mrgreen:

      “If I like someone enough to have sex with them, I like them enough to see them again.”

      But only if the sex was good, right? 😛

      “Oh My God! If any of you men can give me perspective on the shit…”

      I guess it’s not over yet… thus the problem!

      “Am I the crazy one? I don’t think I am, but I was wrong, once – lol.”

      Since it’s still not over yet, you both are. Remember, it takes two to tango! Part of the grieving process over a breakup is to seek closure, but it’s obvious that you’re not going to get it. It’s easy for me or anyone else to say move on already, but at least one of you need to take action to make it happen.

      “What should I make of a pot-SB that keeps telling me stories about her other pot-SDs? Am I being given a hint?”

      Yes, she’s a hot commodity and seeking the highest bidder. You better hurry up and put in your bid! 😛

  36. Beach_Girl says:

    Jersey~ well said! I have not had drama in any of my relationships… ok, I did have an incident not long ago, but I think it was more stalk ish that anything…
    Drama is cultivated and nurtured… if you feed it, it will grow. Same with anger, jealousy etc… obsessing over it makes it worse.

    Went into the jacuzzi with no Spider incident at all 😀

  37. CushPrincess says:

    @Sugary, Jersey Darling took the words right out of my mouth! (Okay, okay, not exactly but the sentiments are the same).

  38. Jersey Darling says:

    Spicey – I agree with the peanut gallery here that I would probably refrain from making all this information public.

    I know you didn’t ask for my opinion so feel free to disregard it, but here are some of the reasons why what you’re doing is a bad idea:
    – By reacting to him, you’re just letting him know he’s getting to you and encouraging further bad behavior.
    – By posting it publicly, you are scaring away other men who may be interested in you if they are smart enough not to want their dirty laundry publicly on a blog indexed by Google.
    – You are making yourself appear dramatic.
    – No one needs to see another man calling you a slut. It doesn’t look good.
    – Piss off this guy enough and who knows what he’s going to do with all the pictures you’ve sent him, which probably have metadata of timestamps, location, and more embedded in them.

    Saying this with your best interests in mind Spicey… the men who are still going to be attracted to you after reading all that are going to be men who either 1) think you’re so hot they don’t care about your attitude, or 2) men who thrive on the dramatic. I don’t think that’s what you want to invite into your life, nevermind all the serious negative consequences that can come of this.

  39. SugarySpicey says:

    Dorky – it’s an even better second novel 😉

  40. DarkHorseSD says:

    This is why I have all my Xs permanently removed from the Internet.

  41. DorkyGuy says:

    “Dorky – you and Wish Bear are soooo passé. All the cool kids blog rant these days. Actually it wasn’t a diary originally, it was just a fun way to outline my sugar experience, then I met the pirate and it started getting drama.” ~ Spicey

    Reason #73 that I am not one of the cool kids! It is just above “loves musicals” and right under “never gets drunk” and wayyyy under “doesn’t own a pair of sunglasses :cool:”

    I get the sugar blog idea though. I think in general it sounds like a fun project.

  42. Beach_Girl says:

    Flyr~ are you talking to me now lol.. I am working on a bucket list… lots of things on there.

    Dorky~ I know it’s easy to get upset here, this blog, and type out a nasty response. i did it too when in the past, but it’s so much easier and better to just walk away from the computer or scream at it. Face to face i’m better and controle myself. I judge better their personality with their facial responses, here it’s easy to stew in your nastiness and go with it, pound on the keyboard and let it rip… but you have to be conscious of the consequences of your words… with face to face you are!

  43. flyr says:

    Spicey – erase the posts , go directly to your room, make a new bucket list

  44. DorkyGuy says:

    @MountainGirl~ Totally agree! There is something about a computer that makes you feel free to type out things that are better left unsaid, and just hit send. You communicate things that are best communicated in person, or not at all.

    I am guilty of it, and often regret it. I nearly lost an important customer early in my business days because I did that with email.

    These days, I try to be more thoughtful and private. That’s why all of my feelings are safely tucked away in my diary. I am not going to tell you what’s in it, but if FatBastard ever read it, I would never be able to show my face on the blog again 😳

  45. SugarySpicey says:

    Dorky – you and Wish Bear are soooo passé. All the cool kids blog rant these days. Actually it wasn’t a diary originally, it was just a fun way to outline my sugar experience, then I met the pirate and it started getting drama.

    Still, him being outraged that I’d talk about this stuff is BS. You should see the shit he posts on his Facebook wall! My stuff is nothing compared to that. And he has photos and does it all under his own name.

  46. Beach_Girl says:

    I hate the drama, especially in these kinds of relationships. Drama doesn’t belong here. I think people don’t see clearly when they are upset. Walking away, taking a breather is the best way to make things better. Especially here on this blog. It’s a computer, walk away! Scream at the screen… but don’t type it out… or write yourself a note and then delete!
    I hate drama and all those games… Drama… such a waste of time and energy.

    Dorky~ I agree, I don’t get why it’s all out there… I don’t get why people engage that behavior. Yes, it’s hard because your emotions cloud your judgment. I haven’t been in this situation in a long time… I really dislike drama!

  47. ax753753 says:

    @SugarySpicey: I agree with Beach_Girl what says
    “… Not worth my time and energy! It’s a computer and your blog. Delete and walk away. Block him from posting there.”
    What’s done is done. It’s time to move forward. You deserve better & the sooner you do, the sooner you’ll find happiness.

  48. DorkyGuy says:

    I must be getting old. I don’t get the public diary thing.

    I keep my diary under my bed, with the key on the bookshelf hidden under one of my Care Bears.

  49. Beach_Girl says:

    I Think it’s just drama!!! I wouldn’t continue the talk but that’s me, I would talk away. Not worth my time and energy! It’s a computer and your blog. Delete and walk away. Block him from posting there

  50. DorkyGuy says:

    @Studio/SS~ Agreed… It may be fair game, and identities may be redacted, but still, posting messy breakup details to a public website kind of invites a public meltdown.

  51. flyr says:

    BG was my mistake supposed to be for Spicey

  52. SugarySpicey says:

    Studio – it is unsavory, if it weren’t for the fact that half the bloggers here already follow my blog I’d have said nothing. But now I’m so perplexed I’m just looking for insight from those not engaged in the battle.

  53. SugarySpicey says:

    The weird part is that he read that “whore” post days ago and said nothing. Now, today when I posted about new romantic interests he exploded all over my blog.

  54. Studio says:

    @ SS not sure why you would want to draw everyones attention to an unsavoury public meltdown between two people. I would have kept it quiet.

  55. SugarySpicey says:

    Additionally Dorky – no, he learned everything within the first week, that was four months ago, before he told me he loved me, before he asked me to move to Indonesia, and before I went to Bali to see him. If he was “pushing me away” that didn’t start happening until a few weeks ago – but even then HE was calling me everyday and sending “I love you” messages. So, he wasn’t very clear about that.

  56. DorkyGuy says:

    @Spicy~ Ah, ok, I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer… having difficulty following the timeline.

    It sounds to me that a lot of this is just typical bad breakup process, where both sides interpret things entirely differently, and will never come to agreement no matter how much each tries to argue their points.

    I get it though… Even though the arguing may be pointless because you will never persuade the other person, sometimes it needs to be done, or it can be fun to get in your points. I am guilty of doing the same thing on the blog on occasion.

  57. SugarySpicey says:

    Dorky – I told him that within the first five minutes of meeting him, AND my profile indicated my status. I didn’t tell him I had kids until the end of our second date (mama protecting her cubs) he is conflating the two.

  58. Beach_Girl says:

    Flyr~ “@BG Sometimes the best way to win a tug of war is to simply let go and walk over the bodies, pause to pee if you must and then move on.” what do you mean? I think my French is getting in the way here 😀

  59. flyr says:

    @BG Sometimes the best way to win a tug of war is to simply let go and walk over the bodies, pause to pee if you must and then move on.

  60. SugarySpicey says:

    Sweetie – maybe he’s trying to pee all over my blog to mark his territory. Too bad I bought pirate repellant.

  61. DorkyGuy says:

    I read through the comments… I am still not sure the history. When I got to the bit about him discovering the marriage, his actions start to make sense to me. After that point, it seems to be all about disconnecting and pushing you away. I could have the timeline wrong though.

  62. sweetie says:

    You bet, he had to bark.

  63. SugarySpicey says:

    Yeah, I don’t think he cares to defend himself to anyone but me. It’s just weird! Lol funny how he had to jump all over Richard though. Lol, maybe he could sense the sexual tension. Lol

  64. sweetie says:

    Now you know he is thinking about you and you weren’t just another one for him, no matter what names he calls you. If you were, he would not defend himself on your blog.

  65. sweetie says:

    Watching the fight is not fun, Sugary. That stuff should stay between the two of you. I’m sorry it’s open for the public. I don’t know, it’s never pretty ending things.

  66. SugarySpicey says:

    Sweetie – he hadn’t posted on it in months, and he dumped me, why would he care what I’m ranting about, so I wasn’t expecting this – especially not all these days after he read it.

    I think today’s post is what set him off. He definitely doesn’t care about the stuff I said in the post about him. He says worse about himself on Facebook all the time, he’s got pictures of himself at brothels on his Facebook wall.

    Perplexing! The good thing is, all his ranting is just reinforcing why I was a fool, and his complete lack of self-awareness is so unattractive.

    I guess I’m just wondering, y’all are watching the fight. Am I the crazy one? I don’t think I am, but I was wrong, once – lol.

  67. DarkHorseSD says:

    My SB assured me it is just that. Zara is just carrying sizes for younger slender guys. Still perhaps there should be a profile setting just for the belly. Pot or no-pot. Some pot. Beer only. Tribal leader.

    If I like someone enough to have sex with them, I like them enough to see them again.

  68. sweetie says:

    Sugary, your blog… why is TP even allowed to post on it or view it anymore? Haven’t you had enough? You’re just going back at it, both of you.

  69. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ i don’t know what his game is, but there is something there. I am not a guy but he’s acting like a drama queen for a reason… I would like to know what other SDs here think, I get that he’s hurt about the things said about him, but you never used his real name, so his character is untouched… his real life untouched.. i don’t get it… Wow, you seem to get all the drama guys, I don’t get it!!

  70. SugarySpicey says:

    Richard – definitely athletic! 😉

    SugarD – it isn’t that we don’t think it’s part of the equation, it’s that we still want to be seduced a little. Even if a girl says ” purely platonic” that’s just a starting point.

  71. SugarD says:

    What are the chances of going out on a Second date after having sex on the first?

    That depends on a lot of things as well as the sex. After all sex IS part of the package. Why do a lot of SB think that it isn’t?

  72. Richard says:

    DarkHorse – Guess it depends on how tall you are? A US size 44 jacket doesn’t seem big at all, I’m US 46L and put “athletic” for my body type. (Sugary, is that a correct description?) I read a survey a while ago where women were asked to rate the attractiveness of photos of men of various levels of fitness and they overwhelming picked the guys that were 10-20 lbs overweight. I can’t remember the reason way, or if they could explain it.

  73. DarkHorseSD says:

    I’m not saying I’m slim anymore, but I just found out Zara doesn’t make a jacket big enough for me. Went up to 54(US44)

    What is my Internet body type ?

  74. SugarySpicey says:

    Oh My God! If any of you men can give me perspective on the shit [img]http://sugarmytips.wordpress.com/2013/10/10/what-happened-to-the-bootlegger/#comments

  75. Beach_Girl says:

    hahha just reread myself lol… shoed up at my house lol… I meant showed up! my mind is on shoes, can you tell? 😛

  76. Beach_Girl says:

    Richard~ I know Lorenzi’s are expensive but… oh so beautiful. Maybe we should discuss if our shoes obsessions, I’m not sure they are that different 😛 it would make for a really fun conversation 😀
    I like my bucket list, I have lots more things I want to do and places I want to see and experience. Here, in my town or close to, there is a lot to do and so many of those I can’t wait to try 😀

    I am actually making a bucket list right now.. I’ve never really wrote anything down so this is interesting and fun. New possibilities await 😀 And yes, shoes are part of my list 😛 but I put it in a want list now!

    So to everyone, how does google voice work? What do you need for that?
    I have never tried it, but I think it would be time too… had a curious thing happen and someone shoed up at my house… guess I didn’t block my number!!!

    Back to my list 😀

  77. Richard says:

    BG – I very much LIKE your bucket list…and I like that you put shoes first…but you and I share a small obsession with women’s shoes…albeit for different reasons, I think. 🙂 That said…if he checked prices on GML shoes he might have been put off a bit…they ain’t cheap! Maybe better to put them further down?

  78. onyx_percula says:

    Grats to Exotic_SB and Studio! Here’s to a successful ending to the start of a wonderful new adventure.

  79. Beach_Girl says:

    Exotic ~lol, i should keep the ” I want” out of my list 😀 I will know better next time lol.. i was just told to watch the movie “The Bucket List” lol…

    By the way, my eye is just a little black, like I have bags under my eyes… guess ice and vanilla extract Really work!! woo hooo… 😀

  80. Exotic SB says:

    @Beach ~ lmao..I agree with flyr. Save the shoes for the bottom of the list next time 😛

  81. Beach_Girl says:

    Flyr~ Really? lol…but that is the first thing I want… and I could wear them locally lol

  82. Beach_Girl says:

    LadyV~ I haven’t seen them, i think Tina got into a relationship and i don’t know about Russian…

  83. flyr says:

    A bucket list that starts with new shoes might have been the wrong first step

  84. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Where is Tina and Russian SB these days?

  85. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars,

    Studio~ Congrats, that’s great!

    Exotic~ Woo hoo girl, so awesome! Chemistry, connection and mental stimulation is a must, so glad you found it 😀

    I’ve was talking to a pot SD and he asked me what would be on my “bucket list” that would be local, Anything crazy, adventurous, or that I have always wanted to do?
    I don’t have a bucket list per say but I do have things I would really love to do…
    So I replied :
    1- I want to own a pair of GianMarco Lorenzi shoes, if what Richard said about the company being in trouble is true… I need to get a pair of my favorite designer.
    2-I want to drive a F1 race car on the F1 circuit here in Montreal. I would love that, you drive a modified F1 car, but still. It goes 185km an hour… omg, I would be scared to death but the exhilaration would be awesome. The have a same program in France and the cars go way faster too… scary!!!
    3-See the northern lights, apparently a couple of hours north of here and we can see them!

    Things a little more adventurous…

    4 I wanted to try ice climbing. I use to rock climb but had a little mishap and stopped, and yes it has to do with a spider and me falling… thank god I was tied properly!
    5- We have a white water rafting in the summer here, I would love to try it. But I’m scared to.

    I haven’t heard from him since, lol… There are millions of things that I would like to do, did I get the “bucket list” wrong?
    I thought a Bucket List was things you wanted to do? Places you wanted to go?

    Ah well, next!!!
    Have a great day sugars!

  86. Studio says:

    @Exotic, that’s two of us in a good mood today then.!!

  87. Exotic SB says:

    G’morning Sugars xo

    @Studio – Congrats! I just had one of those last night – we talked for hours! Suuuch amazing chemistry, connection and mental stimulation! It seems we will be meeting on Thursday!

  88. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Morning Everyone!
    Glad to see that is was so positive for Studio.

    Hope everyone else finds what they search for.

  89. Zack says:

    what do you know? there is life out there after all.

  90. Studio says:

    update on pot older SB. Well chemistry there is almost scary, only text Skype and phone so far but we were like hand and glove, I am totally sapio sexual and she got me hotter just with words than the body any of the tight young things with a tummy you could bounce a coin off and catch it again. Sexuality is a physical expression of the mental and that chemistry does more for me than any amount of pertness. She is also all kinds of kink, almost as much as me 😉 , which helps.

    Could be a hold on to your seastbelt ride I think this one.

  91. Zack says:

    Ok, descending from 30,000 feet now, most people reading the blog are new and don’t post…

    Any Profile advice to some pot sb thinking:

    I’m a single mother and I can’t keep my utilities paid. I’d love for a Real SD to ride in, but I’m to take what I can get and I don’t want any fuss.

    I don’t know what to do with my profile, but I got some pretty good pics… and I just don’t have the time to read the Blog…

    (umm, sorry, my empathy’s out for the evening, so I should stop this monologue, lol)

  92. Zack says:

    @BG ” I’m cute with a black eye! lol”…..

    So, this and your neighbor Laughing just after the gallant rescue? Ok, there are the points for style.

    When would you like to seal the deal? 😛

  93. Beach_Girl says:

    Exotic~ Yes, but I was clumsy with the heavy lifting I was doing 😀 it’s ok, I’m cute with a black eye! lol

    Dorky~ mountain girl lol…

  94. DarkHorseSD says:

    A few years ago my Internet age was a month older than IRL. Over time it has slipped to 2yrs younger, just to give those younger girls a chance at all this.

  95. DorkyGuy says:

    What do you get when you put 50 pigs with 50 deer?

    A hundred sows and bucks

  96. KatPaw says:

    @Exotic yes it does!

  97. Exotic SB says:

    @Kat – totally agree – authenticity rules – for SB’s and SD’s!

    @Dorky – Lmao – ‘mountain girl’…too cute!

    @BG – sorry to hear about your ‘fall’..I should have kept you online chatting earlier!!!

  98. DorkyGuy says:

    @Beach_Girl… you keep having calamities near water. You might consider changing to Mountain_Girl 😛

  99. Beach_Girl says:

    Zack~ No one to catch me 🙁 but I made my neighbor laugh… lol…

    Kat~ I agree, be yourself, anyways at some point they will find out about the lie, one way or another… I learned that back when I live in LA!!!! not doing that again, not worth it… If being me is not enough, they can go on to the next one 😀 I am Fabulous for someone!

  100. KatPaw says:

    Hmm I don’t lie about my age and all my photos are recent. I see no reason to misrepresent myself.

  101. Zack says:

    @BG… I know some people put a lot of effort into making realistic All Hallow’s Eve outfits, but maybe wait a few more weeks next time? I’m not sure points for style are appropriate, but, well…. “Ouch….Sorry” 🙁

    No one to catch your fall…? xxo

    @JD, gu… Ok, pics first for quick, shallow interest. Makes sense. Is it worth the trouble of actually worrying about text and crafting something meaningful for a “click”? Yeah, but there’s a lot more to that than pics….

    Depends on who you are and what you are looking for. Why limit oneself? get good pics, take a cut at the text, then learn and improve it. If you’re you are worrying about “My Profile” rather than “How do I get ‘X'”, then start with pics, simple rules and…. go slowly until you figure out what you’re looking for…. no amount of technical advice will fix a profile that doesn’t base off of who you are and what you want…

    Besides, if you have fun tinkering with your profile, you probably come across as a more interested and engaged pot 🙂

    Unless it’s just a transaction.

  102. Beach_Girl says:

    Jersey~ the sexual organ for a women is the mind! have emotional intelligence, a connection is awesome… Having awesome , mind blowing sex is too! 😛

  103. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!
    Well, i think I just managed to give myself a black eye!!! lol… slipped on the wet grass and hit the side of the pool … Face first!!! it’s going to be awesome to make new pics for my profile lol…

    Age~ I don’t think everyone lies about their age here, I don’t.. although i was told to, that it would help… but i’m not sure I would like to do that…

    pics~ i heard that many use old pics of themselves, mine are recent and I was told to change them. I never know if they are good and always ask for advice. My opinion is different than other peoples. sometimes i think the photo look awful and i’m told it’s the best! lol… ah well, i’m going to have wear lots of eye concealer for new pics 😀 lol… ouch my eyes… my face lol.

  104. Jersey Darling says:

    @DarkHorse – [email protected] “internet age.” Boy do I know this one! So many of the men on here are not accurate at all which is silly – you’d think they’d realize one of the most appealing traits is honesty.

  105. Jersey Darling says:

    @Zack – I target my profile to the type of person I’m seeking more than anything else. I very much agree with flyr that defining your target audience is key. Once you know who your target is, you tailor your profile to them

    While I agree with the premise that most people (particularly SDs) look at pictures and then the text merely serves as a confirmation for them emailing an SB, perhaps this is also why most arrangements are so short. I don’t care how beautiful a girl is, many men prefer variety and will jump to the next beautiful girl if there isn’t something that differentiates her. Also, why not have great pictures AND great text?

    When I was active on SA I had many SDs who wrote me, but the one who absolutely drove me wild was an emotionally intelligent, incredibly smart entrepreneur. We had a mental connection that far surpassed the physical, although physically he drove me wild too 😉

  106. Studio says:

    @ dark horse

    her age was real on her profile, she linked me to her linkd in and she all checked out with a quick google of her. Another big tick there.

  107. DarkHorseSD says:

    Studio: you mean her ‘Internet age’ is greater than your IRL age?

    • SD Guru says:

      The truth about profile text and profile age:

      – Profile pics are usually more important than the text. Given the same demographic, a SB profile with attractive pics and generic text will always get more attention than a profile with average pics and great text. Therefore I’d suggest that SB’s should spend as much time (if not more) on your pics as the text.

      – Most profile age is subject to a fudge factor. The older a SD/SB is, the greater the fudge factor. If a SB lists her age as 39, she’s probably over 40 (and most likely mid to late 40).

      As a bonus, the truth about profile pics…

      Less than half (some would say less than a third) of profiles accurately represent who you’ll meet in person. Most pics are of a younger slimmer self. :mrgreen:

  108. Zack says:

    @ JD… to what extent might you tailor your profile for a quick appeal vs a prolonged interested conversation?

    You prefer to make both available…. many don’t think that far ahead.

  109. Zack says:

    re: profiles…

    2 partial ideas…. After writing, go back and remove half of your words. And…don’t diss German Shepherds…anyone who appreciates their heart and has a happy one gets an important bit of a “click” with me. (There are…many… other ways, of course, too 🙂

    Not so much the nose, but you gotta make friends 😛

  110. Jersey Darling says:

    @Onyx – Fair enough, the profile communicates that she’s submissive; in my opinion, it just communicates it in a flat and one dimensional way. I could think of more enticing ways to say “I’m submissive” that could give a hint of personality that would make a man want to choose her over another submissive on the site. But I suppose to some SDs the only criteria may be her pictures and submissiveness.

    It’s like saying on a profile “I want a man.” It conveys the point but is exceedingly generic.

    @Studio – Lol! While I’m a fan of proper grammar, I’m ultimately a fan of a profile that lets someone’s true colors shine through as I think it leads to a higher chance of success. It’s nice to see personality in a profile.

  111. flyr says:

    On Profiles

    It’s easy to loose attention while at the same time having concerns when the self description talks about dogs, cats etc. They are relevant only if the SD will be sleeping in the same room with them. Nothing kills the fun more than having her German Shepard stick his cold nose in your rear while you giving your best performance.

    You are writing the profile to find a real SD that meets your criteria so some self screening language is good but make it positive. If you are a non drinker but are fine around those who drink in moderation it should be noted.

    Like most of today’s students, most profile writers start to write not knowing what they want to say. Do an outline of the points you want to make, arrange them in the order you want to present them
    Strong opening
    Information to attract your target

    This presupposes that you have a target SD

    Describing what you are looking for in positive terms Reward good behavior

  112. Studio says:

    @Jersey Darling

    I know bad grammar from an educator, good job her pics were hot huh 😉

  113. Exotic SB says:

    @Onyx likes it when they speak in code 😉 Perhaps you do some of this as well in your profile..with the caliber of your responses at times? Lol….only yours is maybe subconscious 😉

  114. onyx_percula says:

    @ Jersey Darling — That profile is really only there to say “submissive/slave looking for dominate/master”. So without being overly explicit she does an excellent job of spelling out enough to attract any pot Dom/M SD to contact her while not getting too much out there that would invite a lot of junk mail.

  115. Beach_Girl says:

    Studio~ good for you, Hope you have a great time and let us know how it all works out 😀

    Jersey~ Well said, just what I was thinking!

  116. Jersey Darling says:

    @Onyx – what makes that profile good to you? I find it generic.

    “I am an attractive and smart girl who loves to have a good time.”
    Generic, bland. What girl on this site doesn’t consider themselves to fit that description?

    “I would enjoy a chance to travel.”
    Alright, we know travel preferences.

    “I tend to be submissive, if that is alright sir.”

    “I want a no drama, NSA, mutually beneficial relationship.”
    These are a lot of words that explain absolutely nothing.

    “I like older guys that are smart and fun and want to give me the treatment I deserve.”

    By contrast, the profile Studio posted – although grammatically incorrect – does display a flirtatiously flippant attitude that, although not appealing to me, I sense gives an accurate impression of the person behind it.

  117. Studio says:

    for all you SB that want to know what profile attracted a younger SD here it is

    I am a naughty spoilt brat, but i do have a good work ethic! I work as a teacher and i own an educational business. I am very flirty and super sexy, i will turn heads when we are out. I am looking for an arrangement with a sugar-daddy type, who perhaps would like to list it as a business expense. I have an amazing grade ii listed farm home with land, horses and dogs. I like sports cars, theatre and eating out. Please message me for more intimate details.

  118. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    The sugar world remains intriguing. Just keeping an open mind about it all.


  119. Exotic SB says:

    Good morning sugars xo

    Studio – please keep us updated – good luck!

  120. onyx_percula says:

    @ Studio — Good luck!

    @ flyr — Here is the whole profile of a SB I spotted this AM that is the perfect example of a short but great profile.

    I am an attractive and smart girl who loves to have a good time. I would enjoy a chance to travel. I tend to be submissive, if that is alright sir.I want a no drama, NSA, mutually beneficial relationship. I like older guys that are smart and fun and want to give me the treatment I deserve.

  121. Studio says:

    came across her profile and she just really stood out as an interesting person. Added her on whatsapp after a couple of messages realised we had loads in common. Asked her if it was ok to call and so had a really nice chat and we just clicked really naturally.

    I have a couple of other potential meets in the pipeline too with 22-26 year old age range, which is my norm (I am 37).

    I have to say though I am most hopeful about the one who is 38

  122. KatPaw says:

    @BG I think we are on the same wavelength lol I wanted to ask the same questions!

  123. Beach_Girl says:

    Studio~ Wow, that is the first time a SD has mention meeting an older SB here on the blog, but I have met a few younger SDs …
    Why are you meeting with her, what attracted you to her?
    tell us how it this all happened? lol 😀

  124. Studio says:

    Just arranged to meet a potential SB that is older than me, not by much but still older. Now there is a first.

  125. Beach_Girl says:

    LadyV~ I’m great, How is the Sugar World treating you?

  126. Beach_Girl says:

    Spice~ check your mail 😀

    Talk to you later sugars!!! Already done with work!! !YAY, how awesome is it when you work from home and don’t really have a schedule and can do your work when you want!!! Did almost my whole week in 2 days 😀 wooo hooo time off 😀

  127. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Hi Beachgirl

    I hope things are well with you too x

  128. KatPaw says:

    SuSp omg wow that’s just messed up!

  129. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ 🙁 sorry, That sucks when you meet an potential employer and the only thing on the guys men is getting you into bed… hugh!!! I’m sure you will find something soon.

    LadyV~ it’s been a long time!

  130. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Hi Everyone
    How is everyone getting on? Not been on for a little while but all good in the UK.
    Cant wait to catch up 🙂

  131. SugarySpicey says:

    No, Beach – I got professionally neutralized not fired – because I’ve been distracted and someone made a land grab, plus my boss feels that the novel I released last year under a pen name (which got some press and became nominally public and therefor not completely anonymous) is incompatible with my professional obligations.

    I haven’t found anything new yet. Met with someone last week that I thought was going to be a dream opportunity – turns out he just wanted to f*ck me. 🙁

  132. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ Seems like Drama follows you 😀
    You got fired? wow!!! I’ve never been fired, it must a horrible feeling! I wouldn’t think it was because of your facebook page, you’ve had it a while. Did you get the new job?
    Guru~ Yes, I see… thanks 😀

    Good night sugars!

  133. onyx_percula says:

    @ flyr — I don’t think we are all that much in disagreement really. The first paragraph as to be the killer, if you aren’t 95% convinced at the end of it, you are likely moving on anyway, and if the second paragraph is as good, the pot SD you been moving the mouse to mail her already. Everything else is icing on the cake so to speak.

    @ ax753753 — Thank you. I actually have two SBs currently, SB#1 who is coming to the end, November will be our last month as I have committed to the new SB to “deal with my harem”, lol. SB#1 has spent most of the day in my bed, still very torn up over her friends death. The new SB is on the way back from MX now, wont be in till late and has to work in the morning. The most trouble I am getting into is a hot bath with #1 in about 5 mins, lol. Looks I am taking tomorrow off too, turns out the two of them have been close friends since 6th grade.

    @ All — thanks for the kind words and laughs today. Still not convinced there ever was a spider though… 😉

    • SD Guru says:

      “I think you should add the description from onyx to the tips section”

      Actually similar tips already exist in the “Sugar Dating Tips” section on the right hand side. See “Profile Tips” and this post from RTB SB (aka Midwest SB).

      Also, for newbies not having any luck yet, check out my “Tips for Newbies” post. All this angst about what goes into a profile, just remember the following:

      “As much time as you spend on your profile text, don’t forget to put up some nice pics too. To quote a former SB blogger: “About 80% of the time they would have made up their mind as to whether they want to contact you based on your age, location and pictures. The profile text usually just serves as a confirmation of their decision.”

      “but ideally who wouldn’t want exclusivity?”

      Don’t assume your situation is similar to everyone else’s, and don’t assume everyone else want what you want. Exclusivity brings strings which can lead to drama (as your example and ax753753’s illustrate). And I’m sure everyone loves drama! :mrgreen:

  134. flyr says:

    onyx great suggestions. One small disagreement. More is often less, brevity in text is priceless.

    We are visual characters so pick the pictures carefully and also keep the number down. If you are not smiling or naked the picture shouldn’t be there and you should not be posing naked pix. An alluring smile, goofy smile, happy smile , orgasmic smile are all good.

  135. Zack says:

    ax11… quick “get to know you” questions….
    please rate the following on a quick 1 to 5 scale:

    -Ice Cream?

    nn, 😛

  136. Beach_Girl says:

    Genuine~ lol, no spiders, I haven’t been in the jacuzzi yet, but I made sure I swept the ceiling this morning 😀

  137. GenuineSD says:

    @onyx… A great bit of advice! I second your suggestions.

    @Beach. Hey there ! Seen any spiders yet tonight ? 😉

    @Sugary… I’ve had an arrangement breach the boundaries … Painful to experience… I’m reminded of the old line: “whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”.

  138. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars 😀

    Onyx~ very well said, that is extremely helpful to everyone.

    Guru~ I think you should add the description from onyx to the tips section 😀

  139. ax753753 says:

    Argh, I meant ‘your’ not ‘you’re.’

  140. ax753753 says:

    @ Onyx_percula: Well, if you are as generous with your SB as you are with your advice on SA, then she is a lucky girl. Thank you for the insight.

    I meant the question to be taken more from a sarcastic standpoint from the SD’s here, but you’re kind guidance on what would make a good SB profile is always a welcome gift. Thank you. Thank you.

    Now, stop being a good guy here and go make some trouble. 😉

  141. DorkyGuy says:

    “Sure the ladies here take some grief from the assholes, but handling that with some humor will go miles.” ~onyx_percula

    This is truly terrific advise for GirlyGirl, and honestly, it’s terrific advice for life in general. Nicely said!

  142. onyx_percula says:

    @ ax753753 — There was some excellent advice a couple blog topics back. In the mean time…

    AVOID the plague of “I like everything everyone else does” and the “I want the same things everyone else wants”.

    When I read a ladies profile there are a few things that I want to know before I contact them.

    1) Have you ever been in a sugar arrangement before?
    2) What type of relationship do you intend to have with your SD? Just friends or a mutually beneficial arrangement? I will be blunt here… most SD neither need to or want to pay an allowance for another friend. There is no need to be explicit or crude with this.
    3) What is your availability? Do you want to meet once a month, twice a week? Can you travel for weekends away or vacations with your SD?
    4) How long of an arrangement are you seeking?
    5) Anything that is important to you… “I want an exclusive relationship” or “I only want one SD, this is not my job” or “I want someone to X for me”.

    I don’t want to read a bunch of negative information. Sure the ladies here take some grief from the assholes, but handling that with some humor will go miles.

    I want to know how our relationship will go? Do you want to communicate daily? What is your need for discretion?

    What will a meeting with you be like? Spend a lot of time on this one! Remember the odds are reversed here, you are competing with others. Make me want to be with you and forget about the rest of the profiles I have seen today and will see tomorrow.

    Don’t be overly demanding “I want to meet as soon as possible! I hate endless messages and time wasters”. This pretty much falls under the negative category.

    Its fine to have a long and detailed profile, BUT your first paragraph maybe two MUST be solid and engage the reader. I had an exec I had to email from time to time that literally would read the first 10 lines of an email and decided is he was deleting it or reading it further.

    I would be glad to look at your current profile and provide specific feedback/help. Moderators please feel free to share my email with ax753753 or just message me on the site, #1672937.

  143. ax753753 says:

    Ohhhh, DorkyGuy….this is hilarious! Too freaking funny!!!

  144. DorkyGuy says:

    Never mind… it just occurred to me that over half the blog is probably too young to get the cultural reference (Clint Eastwood, Dirty Harry)

  145. DorkyGuy says:

    ax753753: Here is what i would put in a profile if I were a SB:

    I know what you’re thinking, punk. “Is the person on the other end the pretty little thing that I see in the photos? Or is it my wife about to catch me cheating?” You’ve gotta ask yourself a question: “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya, punk?

  146. Zack says:

    Any gentlemen want to take a stab at what they would write in a SB profile if they were a female?
    Pris, @ Baty: time, cq.

  147. SugarySpicey says:

    The bootlegger was a real relationship, went well beyond sugar. Met as sugar but instantly became the real thing. He was the only person who breached into my personal life.

    I also have an author Facebook, but my novel is what caused all the initial uproar with the boss and is ultimately far more responsible for my losing my job than anything else. So, for now, it’s quiet.

  148. Zack says:

    @ GG, saved himself some pain too, probably, particularly if it was a form letter.

    Maybe SA could start by banning everyone immature.

    It got buried in a landslide somewhere, but I think it was darkhorse who had 4 2 word phrases that Jenn might want to put on the future weekly topic list.

    Any religious scholars around? I got some questions that might be described as “comparative.”

    So, is the idea of sex on a first date outrageous? Sometimes. Unreasonable? Maybe not. Hmm.

  149. flyr says:

    @Girly – As the Dorkster suggests, you got off easy. The bad ones for both SB and SD are those who make a plausible case that they are what they are not. Your wasted time was minimized.

    @Spicey – just know that Facebook is going to run photo recognition on every photo on your site and on other sites that share a photographed person with you. It only gets worse and ever the more creepy . I would keep anybody from the SA world well isolated from FB

  150. ax753753 says:

    Any gentlemen want to take a stab at what they would write in a SB profile if they were a female?

  151. Girly girl says:


    He had no chance with me, charm or no charm, but it’s just sad to know that like you say some girls will go for that and probably think that’s what an arrangement should be like. I hope they are reading this blog for all advice they can get..

  152. DorkyGuy says:

    @Spicy~ I can see FB being a necessity for someone in the public eye (author/etc) engaging with fans. Do you maintain a separate FB account for your professional persona vs your personal one? Maybe it would simplify things if you had a FB for family that is separate from your FB for sugar/work?

    @Jersey~ Maybe he was trying to quantum teleport you? It depends on how you spin it 😛

    @GirlyGirl~ When guys are like that, maybe it is a good thing? What I mean is, he was honest. You knew exactly what he wanted and what kind of person he is without having to waste time. He did you a favor.

    He might have had a better chance with you if he had more charm, but isn’t the fact that he doesn’t have charm something that’s valuable to know up-front? Isn’t it better to discover that he’s a dick in the first message than to discover it further in? Yeah, maybe he’s a John, but he’s just doing what Johns do, and remarkably, he will have no problem finding girls on SA willing to speak with him on his terms.

  153. Girly girl says:


    I told him he was a John and shouldn’t be here, he is blocked now. My profile is classy so its just shows people don’t read them. yes, I wish SA would do something about people like that.

  154. Beach_Girl says:

    Jersey~ I am all up for play, but only after 10-11 pm… off to finish Thanksgiving diner, can’t really leave everyone waiting 😀

  155. Jersey Darling says:

    @Beach, perhaps we should turn the tables from cerebral trivia to physical delight. I haven’t seen many sexy male avatars on here lately.

  156. Beach_Girl says:

    Richard~ Do we only have to ask? 😛

    Genuine~ lol… it was a sight to see 😛

  157. Jersey Darling says:

    @Richard – The two-mode squeeze thing sounds kinda sexy. Are you trying to quantum entangle me?

  158. Zack says:

    Others have suggested that might depend on what you wanted to say to whom.

    Or might have.

  159. Richard says:

    JD – You only had to ask. But should I discuss colonialism and it’s impact on African economic development or mixed two-mode squeezed states in
    Hilbert-Schmidt space?

  160. onyx_percula says:

    @ flyr — Just seen a profile from Vegas… “If you are that kind charismatic gentleman that enjoys elite companionship, and wants to explore the highest state of entertainment with a beautiful seductive proper lady just pick up the phone…

    serious callers only”


  161. sweetie says:

    Jersey, keep in mind the job market wherever you go to school. Here it’s non-existant or minimum wage ($7.79). Can’t live on that.

  162. Zack says:

    hey, well said :Peace 😀

  163. SugarySpicey says:

    Dorky – unfortunately, I will be tied to Facebook as long as it is around, social marketing is an integral part of my career, as well as having personal clout with a network of followers is critical in the line of work I do.

    It does feel good to no longer be able to watch the jackass maneuverings of an overgrown frat boy. I am no longer responsible for wrangling in his schenanigans. He’s an adult, he can take care of his damn self!

  164. Jersey Darling says:

    @Richard I’m still waiting for you to talk nerdy to me 😉

  165. Jersey Darling says:

    @Sweetie, Why is being in a college town bad? I’m actually about to relocate for school. Not sure if it’d be considered a college town, I’m not familiar with the area yet really beyond knowing that I’m moving there haha.

    @Genuine, I suppose it doesn’t matter where you start as long as you cross the finish line strong!

  166. Zack says:

    Oh, sweetie, take it someplace else.

  167. Zack says:

    Ahh, I remember….about uniforms…

    A remarkable gentleman who I respected on such matters once told me, “Marines are weird.”

    He meant it. The way he said it and the glimpses it gave me still raise my hackles and give me goosebumps. It’s been some time.

    One of the things he was talking about was the look in the eye of a highwire performer, or the self-discipline of a machine. He meant the sort of respect that a uniform should convey. Scary.

  168. onyx_percula says:

    @ Girly girl — Send him a link to back page and tell him his “needs” will be better met there… Oh don’t forget to block him, lol.

  169. GenuineSD says:

    @ Jersey ? I have so many favorites I hardly know where to start !
    I’d be open to any position… after all I’m here to please!

  170. flyr says:

    @girly – I have no idea if it would do any good but I would forward it to SA with a note that it is a blatant solicitation for prostitution. Also put him on permanent block. SA does not have a good reputation for responding to these situations. Perhaps they will change.

    Also take a look at your profile to see if there is anything that might be an attractor (often these people just send out 100 emails and hope that one replies. Sadly, my guess is that they might get 5% – 10 % as SA has become an alternate advertising venue for many industrial debutantes

  171. Zack says:

    sorry if this is obtuse or ooc, just trying to catch up a bit…

    JD, if it is in you like that now, then yes; a life of lessons and a continuing masterpiece….

    I’m an old sci-fi/fantasy type guy, sigh.

    oh, I meant to say something 2 dorky, damn. umm pft. I forget, anyway, Gentlemen, thanks for parity check!

  172. DorkyGuy says:

    @Spicy~ Have you ever considered deleting FaceBook altogether?

  173. sweetie says:

    Jersey, I’m doing ok, thank you. I’ll update you on the blog happenings, no worries 🙂

    It looks like I’ll be in school longer than I planned, not happy about that. 🙁 Life in college town is tough…

    Zack, I have no interest in partaking in your conversations, you’re not even speaking English. But, rest assured, you can keep roaming the stratosphere, it must be more fun up there. So, I’ll make it official, mind your own business.

  174. flyr says:

    Wow, it’s been an active morning

    Spicey – congratulations sometimes you simply have to burn the past to ashes so there’s nothing to look back on so you might as well go forward

    Anon – It sounds like you are in a tough spot. Realize that women are here because they, for the most part, would be helped by some financial support. If you kids need the money to eat you should not be here. On the other hand if you have the ability to make and keep a commitment to your SB then it may be a good way to bring some light into your life. Buy you need to bring the resources while leaving the drama behind.

    Disaster – With a busy week of work and play ahead I took time off for an afternoon with my sisters on a guest ranch near Santa Ynez. They have the family party gene so wine and champagne were flowing out by the lake. It was not until I woke up at zero dark thirty and realized that the gnats were really no-see-ums and my legs were covered with bites. Internet remedies run from yogurt to steroids. Worse it looks like a terminal social disease.

    Men in uniform – I used to date a UCI bio major . A couple of times her roommate was up bright and early announcing that she was headed down to Oceanside for the breakfast special. Is it really that good I finally asked ” Yes – every week 200 studly Marines finish boot camp and about half of them end up at one of two restaurants Saturday and Sunday mornings. I have my choice” and off she went.

    Re Couples – It’s an interesting dynamic. You want to know if the woman is pushing the idea or being drug along – big difference.

  175. Jersey Darling says:

    @Genuine – Rethink that position? What position are you thinking of exactly 😉

  176. GenuineSD says:

    @Jersey I agree, get to know someone over time, develop a sense of who they are… More information should yield a better choice!
    I was originally going to say learn about someone by watching them from a distance…. but I swore of voyeurism a long time ago ! :))
    …. although, if Beach Girl keeps at it, I may rethink that position!

    @Beach… The visuals… they’re seared into my brain ! LOL

    @Onyx I have had little success with the quick route as well, same reasons…
    Congrats on finding that great connection, its so great when you click and you know it… things just fall into place.

    I’ve also found situations where the chemistry is there but the timing has been off – worth the wait though – sometimes the universe has its own sense of timing…

  177. DorkyGuy says:

    Omg… “It was a double en-tom-dre.”

    reading that, I feel like I lost a bit of my soul. 😛

  178. Jersey Darling says:

    Wow Dorky. I think that takes the cake!

  179. DorkyGuy says:

    “I wonder what the underside of binary code would look like. The seedy underbelly of what happens when 1 meets 0.”

    omg… That reminds me of a poem from high school, and for the life of me, I can’t find it or remember who wrote it. It was an erotic poem about the letter “O”. I want to say e.e. cummings, but I don’t know for sure. It has stuck with me for years as a favorite.

    “I like geek humor…and very dry sarcastic wit….and clever puns. If most people get it, it’s not a good joke. 😉 “~ Richard

    Ditto! I actually have this t-shirt:

    do || !do : try
    try command not found

  180. Jersey Darling says:

    Yes, I think the worst pun I ever made was when a guy I knew named Tom was wearing Toms (the shoes). It was a double en-tom-dre.

    I like geek humor as well. It’s like an accent you can’t kick, it gets worse when I hang out around geeky people.

  181. DorkyGuy says:

    “what girl doesn’t have a thing for men in uniform!!”~katpaw

    I think that is 90% of the reason men become cops. If you chicks didn’t dig men in uniform, we wouldn’t have a police force. So, next time I get a ticket, it is your fault!

    “There are 10 types of people in the world: those that underside binary code and those that don’t”~ Richard

    lol, I love that one. We have to get mileage from it now before quantum computing hits mainstream.

  182. Richard says:

    I’m more a licker than a biter (especially that area under your belly), but both have their place. I like geek humor…and very dry sarcastic wit….and clever puns. If most people get it, it’s not a good joke. 😉

  183. Jersey Darling says:

    Hah! Gross 😛

    I’m a fan of Dorky’s binary avatar. My favorite humor tends to be horrible, groan-worthy puns, the worse the better.

  184. Richard says:

    I’m not a fan of seedy underbellies, the seeds tend to get stuck in my teeth.

  185. Jersey Darling says:

    @Richard – I wonder what the underside of binary code would look like. The seedy underbelly of what happens when 1 meets 0.

    Thank you 😉 That joke is one of my favorites.

  186. gtt_envy says:

    @zack, ok man lol

  187. Richard says:


  188. Richard says:

    JD – Sharp wit…find that sexy in a woman! 🙂

    There are 10 types of people in the world: those that underside binary code and those that don’t.

  189. Jersey Darling says:

    @Beach – if you’re an Angle, you’re acute one 😉

    @Kat I don’t have as many stories as I wish I did! More with one lucky fireman than with police officer.

    Now Marines… I’m a sucker!

  190. Girly girl says:

    So this is what I received today from a guy.. all for $300 once a month meeting.. I wish there was a way to prevent such people from this site and make it more classy and respectful place to meet people…

    well this is a must

    oral sex. 69. deepthroat (or at least try hard)

    kissing all over.

    and this list is a nice to have


    cum anywhere on you (not in pussy or bum, condoms for that),


    tie up hands.


    playing with ice

    dirty talk

  191. Beach_Girl says:

    Kat~ you aren’t that far from me, when I get my passport we should have a SB get-together! 😀

    Jersey~ I actually have an accent, small there. but people mostly say I sound European. I have so many cop stories… not mine, really I promise, I’m an Angle 😉 , but yeah they are funny!
    You will have to come to the SB get together lol…

  192. KatPaw says:

    @JD what girl doesn’t have a thing for men in uniform!! Mmmm sexy lol dated a cop a long time ago.. Mmmmm the fun I had with him in uniform one night.. Oooo still makes me hot thinking about it 9 years later!

  193. Jersey Darling says:

    @Zack – It’s the only book I’ve ever read that’s had that impact on me. I love to read, but I literally felt I lived a whole lifetime in reading that book and took away a life’s worth of lessons. Invaluable. The real life stuff, I’m still procrastinating but making progress 😛

    @Beach – LOL, that’s great! Oh I wish I could pull a French accent on demand! For me, it was after leaving a bar one night with a girlfriend. My car happened to be in a parking lot with about three cops in it at 5AM, so of course they came over when we got to the car. I had a few drinks earlier, so my liquid courage had me flirting shamelessly with him even though underneath it all I was nervous because I’d had a drink or two! His cop buddies started laughing because he had a wife (whoopsie!) but I’ve always had a thing for men in uniform…

  194. KatPaw says:

    @BG I love your stories!! Lol I’m sure your an amazing blast of fun to chill with!

  195. Beach_Girl says:

    Jersey~ I have a few stories, Funny ones too! 😀 I have flirted with cops to get me out of bad situations 😛 (but I am an Angel , promise) Once, when I was living in LA, I went to bring a friend to the airport, I parked in the no parking or unloading zone.. didn’t really care I was just saying goodbye to my friend, but I was inside for a bit, helping her get everything done. Anyways, I come back outside, there’s LAPD , at my car… crap… starting to write me a ticket… CRAP!!! So, me being all french and all… put on the accent full blast! I start hello Monsieur le Officer, moi sorrrriiii for la auto herrre you no, to la airport for a friend, rolling my Rs fully, looking all sweet and trying my best at Bambi eyes blah blah, he says ok doll you’re good but don’t do it again ok? Sure no problem Monsieur le officer lol… well that night, we are partying at the Rainbow, i’m talking to my friends in a not so accented English and then someone taps me on the shoulder!!! YEP, THE COP! !!!! lol…I was stunned, wtf?? lol it was funny, he laughed but he warned me of the LAPD!!! yeah, never did that again… and I never really had to, coz I’m an Angel!!! lol *batting eyelashes 😀

  196. Zack says:

    Hey, JD….how’s the irl paperwork? today was supposed to be a busy day for me, but here I am…. on vacation, sucked into a silly blog thing, LOL!!!

    @gtt… so you have previously judged; I try again to reply….
    how about…I actually can speak much more effectively than I can write… I’m lazy, text limits words even more, at least the context and audience are generally better defined in situations of vocal conversations, speaking is less subject to repeated, personally idiosyncratic micro-analysis, Can we stop going on with this? How many points do you need to curve-fit?

    If I enjoyed this sort of vetting, I’d be on the site proper or talking to someone like sweetie or another.

    I don’t think that would be productive in a desirable direction at this time, but that’s just me. And that’s just for this early day. Grin

    I do think you should really talk to not only your pot SB but also some of your loved but moved on ladies… try to learn the huge hurdles and tiny hoops you spin for people to “earn your trust” or approval… or submission. 😛

    Re: Tolstoy, too much wisdom in the world for my head. give me the Cliff Notes refresher and a few Upanishads chew on if I ever get bored with the computer, sigh.

  197. Jersey Darling says:

    It makes me want to meet quickly to ensure* Overanxious fingers over here!

  198. Jersey Darling says:

    @GenuineSD, It’s interesting that on SA proper I do tend to prefer moving more quickly if I feel chemistry. Since I’m actively looking when I’m on SA, it makes me to ensure that he’s everything he says he is before I get my hopes up. It’s just another reason the blog is great – no pressure because you’re not actually trying to find anyone here, but if it happens it’s a bonus!

    @Spicey, I love War and Peace. I learned a lifetime’s worth of wisdom from reading it and I’m overdue to read it again. I started reading Anna Karenina but never finished.

    @Beach, Your story is hilarious! For a while it was on my bucket list to shamelessly flirt with a cop (now accomplished), but you certainly did it with panache albeit unintentionally! 😀

    @DarkHorse, Scenario creation is the worst! Open communication all the way!

    @Sweetie, I’m great thank you! So much has happened for me over the past few months. How have you been? I might need you to fill me in on the blog gossip!

    @Spicey – Glad you deleted the Pirate, you ARRRR on the right track!

  199. gtt_envy says:

    @Zack, huh? You have a strange way of speaking sometimes do you know that?

    Yes, I screen heavily, but probably not in a way you think. It’s not a Q/A session!! The “Trust but verify” quote being used works well for this.

    All I can say is for what I’m looking for it has worked so far! Sugar is supposed to fun a added cherry on top, but if I feel like a number, or one of many, or used for financial perks it won’t work.

    Thanks for the input though 🙂 and as someone else said I too believe she is looking we will just have to see what happens.

  200. Beach_Girl says:

    Kat~ lol, It would of made for an extremely funny video! lol

    Guru~ That was the end… If it would of been one of my blog crushes it might of ended differently 😀

    Sweetie~ that god he killed it, it was huge! the body of it was the size of a quarter … blerkkkk

  201. KatPaw says:

    SuSp good for you!!!

  202. SugarySpicey says:

    Deleted The Pirate from Facebook, he’s really done – hurts like hell, even though he was a total assclown and needed to get cut.

  203. Zack says:

    Perhaps it’s yet to come?

  204. sweetie says:

    BG, that was funny! Good thing you had a knight to save you, hehehe!

    Jersey, how are you? Good to see you here, we missed you. 🙂

  205. Zack says:

    …I bet there was, but that she spent a while writing the words…

    ok, I’m not jaded, yet. Muhahahah!

  206. onyx_percula says:

    @ Beach_Girl — Tell the truth, there was no spider was there?

    It reminds of a time I was living outside of Rapid City. It was kind of a semi-rural area. I was living in a apartment that used to a lodge/motel. I was working late shifts and would get home between 1am and 3am. One “night” coming home pulling into the parking lot my headlights flash across my neighbor standing in her back door naked and touching herself. As soon as my lights hit her she startled and ducked back inside. I almost never seen her but she was a hot 19 year old in her first apartment, and I was a young 20’something. I wanted to chat her up sometime but never found the opportunity to catch her alone.

    The next night I pulled in slower hoping to catch her again, to my delight and surprise there she was again! This time she didn’t duck inside. I stopped with my lights on her, she stood there and “finished” and quickly ducked back inside and turned her lights off… not exactly an invitation to come knocking… boo!

    The next night I pulled in slowly somewhat expecting to she her again, her lights were on like that last two nights, but she wasn’t there. DISAPPOINTMENT! Oh well, she is young had her fun and was done with it, oh well. I got parked and walked around to my front door like I always do, and wham there she was waiting at my door, just a short rob on, untied and open, her hand covering herself. It was a fun few weeks after that, she never told me her name, refused to acknowledge me during the day, and barely spoke at night. She would be waiting, in her back door, my front door, my parking space, on her car parked next to mine always in that rob or nothing at all. Then she moved… Good times!

  207. Zack says:

    @ BG…”here relaxing, eyes closed… then for a moment open my eyes and 2 inches from my face is this huge Spider,”

    …..sometimes I feel like that about my laptop…

    Hmm, I guess the Jacuzzi isn’t open to the elements up there? Any thoughts on Hotubbing on a cold, dark and stormy night, with fluffy robes in the dryer…just to warm them up? wink…

  208. onyx_percula says:

    @ GenuineSD — I have gone the quick route and the long extended route. Honestly I am leaning towards never doing the quick route again. The trend seems to be the pot SBs that are wanting quick are the ones than are financially stressed, desperate if you will. Desperation leans to all kinds of nasty…

    There is another kind of sugar site that has a lot of member to community communications where “status updates” and “personal blog” posts show up on the main page… as a result it has gone from a sugar site to one where desperate girls are mostly selling erotic pictures, videos, Skype sessions and you always see “HELP! I will do ANYTHING!!!” posts come the end of the month. There are just as many posts by the girls of “Scammed again!”, “Stiffed again! I am never meeting anyone from here again!” and so on. It’s a ripe ground for exploitation of desperate girls and guys that are truly looking for a SB.

    Before the new SB I was talking with a pot SB in VA. She is hot as hell, former model, successful one too, has some wonderful kinks 😉 She is in pretty desperate straights and kept pressuring me to meet face to face for a “pay for play” with the desire to seal a long term arrangement. We were talking daily on the phone, txt’ing, sext’ing emailing. But as time moved on I found out that she has a horrible temper and serious jealousy issues. Before I ended it every time she called I would cringe knowing I was about to have to walk across egg shells through a mine field.

    Even though we took over three weeks before the new SB and I completed an arrangement I knew immediately she was right. She knew I was right, as evidenced by her closing the account we met through after our first phone call, just days after first contact, lol.

  209. GenuineSD says:

    I’m reminded of the old project management maxim: Good, Fast, or Cheap: pick any two…

  210. Zack says:

    Oh, dear….shall we discuss human or social reactions to “Other?”

    l8ter, lol

  211. KatPaw says:

    @BG ohhhh that story had me rolling on the ground!!! I’d do the same thing I hate spiders and turn into an idiot when I see one close to me!

  212. DarkHorseSD says:

    Flyr said: “A dangerous generalization is that women are more prone to create scenarios out of bits of information than are men. ie He did not comment about my hair that means he hates it ……. while the male brain is processing something like how can someone this smart be so sexy and beautiful ………

    Arrangements come with drama . Probably more destruct from miss perception of the other party’s thoughts/ intentions than from real issues. Most of us have some great stories. That does not mean that there are not dishonest , scummy people of both sexes out there but it’s important not to shoot the good guys.

    trust but verify

    before shooting make sure you are not looking at the mirror”

    Enormously important observations succinctly put.

    Scenario creation
    Miss perceptions
    Trust but verify
    Self destructive reactions

  213. Beach_Girl says:

    Good morning Sugars!
    A rainy day here for our Thanksgiving. 😀 I am preparing the feast today… Yes, we do all the same as the US lol… except i do make some Lithuanian dishes, I;m half Lithuanian.

    Quick arrangements, they happen I rather take some time to know if we are a right match. it’s important to me to have a connection and chemistry is a must. but if that is all in place, i don’t see a problem.

    Blog Crushes~ words are powerful and give you a sense of a person. I think you can see how the person mostly thinks. It’s a huge turn on! Well for me it is 😀 Smart and witty men are a turn on. ::P

    Something to make you all laugh today: I am house sitting as you all know, and they have a jacuzzi, which I use every night when i’m here. The jacuzzi is in a some sort of veranda not all closed off. Last night at 2am I went for a dip to relax before bed. I put the porch light on, it’s very dark out, I went in without the bathing suit… yes, it’s late and who will see right?
    Well,I am in there relaxing, eyes closed… then for a moment open my eyes and 2 inches from my face is this huge Spider, I;m very scared of them! I start to scream and dunk myself almost drowned lol… then I stand up, still somewhat making a lot of noise and then, from the side of the house, The Neighbor comes running lol I’m standing there, in the buff, whimpering, and he asks if i’m ok lol… I was stunned and embarrassed a little lol he’s a police officer and heard me scream and came to see if i was ok… lol I told him about the spider, still naked mind you lol… he gave me my robe and killed the spider for me… omg, how funny is that!!! embarrassing…
    this morning when I left the house, he said to be careful for those killer spiders next time lol 😀
    Something to be thankful for…. men to kill spider for me 😛 (I could of done it, but really it’s better when you guys come to the rescue!) lol

    Hope that made some of you laugh!

    Have a good one Sugars 😀

  214. Zack says:

    @gtt…”lly of course I don’t expect it 😉 but ideally who wouldn’t want exclusivity? ”
    So few words, so many questions 😛

    Please realize that your personal vetting and selection process is more fierce on your partners than I think you actually realize. Slow down, you’re moving too fast and not communicating your expectations as well as you should be to either to yourself…or probably anyone else.

    Careful not to get hung up on your own self-worth. Seriously…. you’ll find out a lot about it by seeing how you can let it go… Next subject: Your retina and U: “Can U C me now?”

  215. DarkHorseSD says:

    GenuineSD: I’m confident it is in the nature of all this here that the bulk of SD’s value speed over accuracy, but every person to their own degree, so some prefer accuracy.

  216. SugarySpicey says:

    Jersey – Tolstoy’s Anna feels sometimes as though he is speaking from my soul! Of course, those Russians aren’t ones for happiness so better to admire his pen from afar then actually fall in love. I’ve had enough of that “doom and gloom” romance, now it’s time for “make my hips squeal” romance.

  217. DarkHorseSD says:

    Gtt: I’m sure she’s looking. She most likely is seeing.

    Can you adjust to it?

  218. DarkHorseSD says:

    Anonymous: “Hi, I don’t know where to start except just be blunt. I found this website because I…am thinking or have thought about a sugar daddy experience. I am in my 30′s and think that I may be attractive. My body could use some work but can rate my face a 7.5-8. I am recently separated and have children and am starting to feel the wrath of financial pressures and stress. if there is anyone that has an opinion on what I am thinking about please help…I don’t know if this is the route to go but am getting desperate and figured since I am decent looking that I could take advantage of this.”

    Hi…you would have to tell us a lot more. You sound like a woman looking for a man. For one thing, deal with this before you actually get desperate. I think there are plenty of opportunities for attractive women with children to gain assistance through an SD.

    Best wishes until we hear more.

  219. GenuineSD says:

    @ Beach / Jersey
    I agree that the blog gives one a chance to meet and get to know someone over a longer period of time and therefore make a better informed choice. Blog crushes are great.

    I’ve always found it interesting that the desire to move forward briskly and not “be a time waster” can also compromise the selection process too.
    The two are in conflict to a degree… Take a slower approach and gain a sense of the person over a bit of time or be accused of just wanting to be a pen-pal… The trick is in finding the balance…

  220. gtt_envy says:

    @SD_Guru, logically of course I don’t expect it 😉 but ideally who wouldn’t want exclusivity? I’m fine with her having a BF or similar it’s just having another SD/SD’s……..that has always bothered me and I’m sure it always will on some level. Makes me feel like a number two steps above a escort like I’m just one of a few guys she juggles to get what she wants. So, far she has denied that is the reason she logs in.

    We will just see how it goes!! My previous SB’s were always looking for more of a emotional connection with perks. Which I am extremely good at 🙂 I can txt and rock social media with the best of them, so it was always “You are so different! I love that you are always available! You have more Instagram followers than me lol that’s crazy etc etc, I can talk about anything with you!”

    Most SD’s aren’t looking for that emotional piece and tons of communication! I screen for SB’s looking for that connection. Most never logged in again after we started “hanging out”, but my current SB is a little different. Her dreams are bigger, her emotional needs are much less demanding, and she is on a timeline to meet certain goals mentally.

    Time will tell!!!

  221. nwsugarbaby says:

    @BG-Thank you for the advice. Being able to ask them the same questions as I would ask a normal SD will help me go into the situation with more confidence.

    @onyx-thanks for the response about poly play. I have a much better idea now about how they could be any of those various possibilities and others depending on what they enjoy. Not sure I could handle being the center of attention ;). It all sounds interesting, but like you said idk how easy it would be. I will definitely have to find out more.

  222. onyx_percula says:

    @ Zack — Nope not quite the same thing, lol. But…

    @ nwsugarbaby — No expert here, but a close friend is a poly person. We have talked on the subject numinous times, and I can share a little I have learned from him. Ultimately the three of you will need to define “rules” and stick to them. Many couples tend to have hard and fast rules when it comes to their partner and the third. Many have the rule of no fooling around with just one member of the couple.

    Since there are many forms of poly, you really need to have a very frank talk with them about what their intimate desires concerning you are. For example it is not uncommon for one member of the couple to never partake and only observe, not uncommon for the third to be the intense “center of attention” only. If you aren’t 100% comfortable better to just move on, as I have been told many times, “Poly isn’t easy!”.

    @ ax753753 — Thanks, she is asleep behind me right now all cried out. I am taking a couple of days off so I can stay with her.

    • SD Guru says:

      “Current SB still logs in I know I have no right to care, but I obviously still do…. She assurred me I’m her guy and there no one in her life she talks to more.”

      Since you spend only about one weekend a month with your SB, do you really expect her to be exclusive to you?

      “I think if anyone does log in while in an arrangement, that they are ‘cheating’ on the arrangement and should be WELL aware that they may jeopardize it.”

      Based on what you described, it’s not clear how often you see your SD and how much time you spend with him in person. Similar to gtt’s situation, do you really expect him to be exclusive to you? Is this something that’s been discussed and agreed to in your arrangement?

      “To let your husband/wife live in a lie, believing you to be a faithful spouse, while you are cheating, is profoundly selfish… Tell the truth or stay faithful. Pick one.”

      Yes, being selfish, guilty as charged. However, the choices are not as black and white as you think. Each person’s situation is different, and in reality it’s probably much more complex and therefore no simple choices or solutions.

  223. Beach_Girl says:

    Jersey~ we do have quality SDs here on the blog! we are very fortunate!

  224. Beach_Girl says:

    nwsugarbaby~ I would think you would ask the same questions, Like:
    Have they done this before, if so, what was the arrangement like?
    what do they see as their ideal arrangement?
    what are they actually looking for?
    those types of questions, that should bring you to allowances, gifts etc

  225. Jersey Darling says:

    I took a peek at the last topic (still procrastinating) and what do I find?

    FB – “I think I could be the fat ugly guy on Springer with the blog SB’s fighting over me. Imagine PriceySpicey and JerseyDarling pulling hair, ripping off each others cloths, all because they both want me. Yeah that’s how things should be…”

    Aww, you didn’t forget about me! Contrary to the name Softi, the part of FB I want is the hardest part of all. His heart 😉

  226. Zack says:

    Chuckle, OP might have something to say about two SB’s presently, but I doubt it’d be the same….

  227. nwsugarbaby says:

    Can anyone give me some information about how SD/SB relationships work typically with a couple (man and woman plus their SB) ? What kinds of questions should I ask them? Thank you all.

  228. flyR says:

    JERSEY…………………. Welcome back

  229. Jersey Darling says:

    @Zack – Sadly, I don’t have any good alternate recommendations for finding someone. I personally prefer other sites to SA. I did meet one man that from SA that came complete with butterflies and all, even reading his emails set me aflutter! But ultimately we had different preferences. I used to mention in the past that I was a huge fan of WYP and I’ve legitimately had fun with anyone I’ve met on there, but I can see why the concept of that site is something men might not like and I’ve heard of men being taken advantage of on there. My most rewarding experiences on SA were from the people I met on the blog. The most important thing, IMO, is to have your own life and not be desperate to find someone.

    @Dorky – Lately I’ve been sticking with meeting people in person if at all 😛 Finding someone just hasn’t been a focus for me. Of course, if someone I’m interested in comes along I’m sure that’d change!

    @Beach – We’re pretty lucky to have good quality men on the blog. Certainly a higher caliber than the rest of the site!

  230. Zack says:

    Hmm, I actually met my (separated) wife on such a site. I wasn’t really dating then, either, and…it went well enough for some time. Anyway, I suppose I’m not going to think about “practice vs. repetition” right now. 🙂

    As for the rest, thanks, but I suspect there’s a good deal more than just that to be said about marriages, lol

  231. Beach_Girl says:

    Jersey~ I so agree, I have a few blog crushes 😛 if something came of these crushes I would be very happy with that! Knowing more about their personality and likes & dislikes, makes it easier to know more about them. The connections are made in advance so the first meeting would be more chemistry based. i have met a few blog SDs as friends, i have met only one of my blog crushes 😀 it was awesome, but friendly, not arrangement bound. Too bad 🙁 he was very good looking and i was smitten!!!

  232. DorkyGuy says:

    There’s always eHarmony, or consulting a shadchan.

    There is also something to be said for arranged marriages. They often last longer and are happier than when we choose our own mates. This is because we really suck at choosing mates for ourselves.

  233. Zack says:

    Fair enough, I hope I might say, “Maybe I’ll get lucky and you’ll fall in his lap…”

    But, of course this isn’t the only way to find a relationship or even sugar….

    Got any other good ones? lol 😛

  234. Jersey Darling says:

    @Zack – Precisely, that’s why I’m not really looking – the opportunity cost isn’t worth it to me and I’d rather spend my time elsewhere. This site isn’t really conducive to finding a connection. If anything, I think I’d be more likely to develop a connection with someone from the blog because you can see their personality and what they consider important, and more importantly you can see how their views develop or remain consistent over time.

  235. Beach_Girl says:

    Jersey~ yes, a connection and chemistry is a must, or else there wouldn’t be an arrangement.

  236. Zack says:

    JD, It just doesn’t seem that easy for some of us to get to “connection” without all sorts of cluelessness en route, :/

  237. Beach_Girl says:

    Jersey~ the search is pretty good. I’m have a few good pot SDs . I know it will all work out! not that I talk about that much here, but I had forgotten how fun it could be. Sometimes a challenge but always fun!

    I wish i knew another language, i have french (of course) English… some Mandarin, some Lithuanian… I will continue the last 2 until i’m more fluent

  238. Jersey Darling says:

    @Beach – I’m not really searching, more just living life and taking it as it comes. As always, what has been important to me is finding a connection and the tit-for-tat mentality that prevails with many on here is not appealing to me. When both people feel a connection, all these rules and points that get debated on the blog dissolve as both people find their way together. I do hope you find someone good in your search, you deserve it!

    @Lil – Hello! How’ve you been? Is Dashel still around?

    @Spicey – I personally love Tolstoy, but you have to find a good translation. One day I’d love to be able to read his work in Russian, but that’s a long way off!

  239. Beach_Girl says:

    everybody left? 🙁

    hope you are all having sugar fun~~ 😉

  240. anonymous says:

    Hi, I don’t know where to start except just be blunt. I found this website because I…am thinking or have thought about a sugar daddy experience. I am in my 30’s and think that I may be attractive. My body could use some work but can rate my face a 7.5-8. I am recently separated and have children and am starting to feel the wrath of financial pressures and stress. if there is anyone that has an opinion on what I am thinking about please help…I don’t know if this is the route to go but am getting desperate and figured since I am decent looking that I could take advantage of this.

  241. Beach_Girl says:

    Lil~ I didn’t see you were back, how are you doing?

  242. Beach_Girl says:

    Jersey~ hey girlie… so glad that you took care of those things,
    I’m good, working hard, back on the search right now… it can be fun but very challenging at times. 😀 how about you, searching again?

  243. Jersey Darling says:

    @Beach – I had a few things in my personal and professional life I wanted to square away. Now that I have, I’m thinking I can participate a bit more on here. How is life treating you?

    @Dorky – Which app were you speaking about above? Is there an app for this site now?

  244. SugarySpicey says:

    A man’s pen can be one of the sexiest things about him. I’m passionately in love with Hemingway.

  245. Jersey Darling says:

    @Dorky, of all things I could admire about him, I’m sure the pen would be one as well.

  246. DorkyGuy says:

    @Jersey~ I know!! Look for example at the personal letters of men like Thomas Jefferson. Holy, cow, their penmanship!

  247. Jersey Darling says:

    @Richard – Spicey loves giving nicknames, and FatBastard always presented such an impenetrable, hardened persona that Spicey ended up referring to him as Softi.

    As for which part of him I’d be interested in… 😉

  248. Beach_Girl says:

    Dorky~ lol… ok, thankful for the internet, lights, running water, washing machines, coffee !!!

    Jersey~I;m glad you are back!

  249. Jersey Darling says:

    @Dorky – Maybe it’s just me, and granted I have no idea what line of work I’d have ended up in 100+ years ago… but I certainly wouldn’t mind going back to a time before technology advanced to where it is now, when conversation was considered an art form, and health wasn’t taken for granted.

    But then, I’ve always been fascinated with the turn of the 20th century in particular.

  250. Richard says:

    JD – The softest part? Someone will have to fill us noobs in on the origin of “Softi.” 🙂

  251. DorkyGuy says:

    @Beach_Girl~ I think we all have *so much* to be thankful for. It’s a matter of perspective. If I were born just a couple thousand years ago, I would have been blind, surviving by begging outside the temple. Because of my uncorrected eyesight, it’s doubtful I would have survived into adulthood..

    If we were born only 150 years ago, not only would we not have automobiles, air conditioning, or the electric lightbulb… but there was also no such thing disposable tampon, maxi pad, or disposable diapers. If this sounds messy, consider that you also would not have had a washing machine for your clothes.

    Just being alive today is a crazy privilege!

  252. Jersey Darling says:

    @Beach – I swore up and down I wasn’t coming back! But, well, I ran out of places to kill time on the internet 😛

    @Spicey – You take one moob and I’ll take the other? Just kidding, I only want one part of him…

  253. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ hahahha, his boobs…

  254. SugarySpicey says:

    Beachy – but Jersey’s back, we must be sure not to disappoint – there must now be a sugar battle over Softi’s moobs?

  255. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars

    Dorkey~ Thank you , you think I have lots to be thankful for? 😀

    Jersey~ Girlie!!!! I agree, you need to be here more ofter 😀

    Spicey~ i haven’t seen hair pulling and Drama yet… lol

  256. ax753753 says:

    @onyx_percula: Your SB#1 is lucky to have you during this sad time.

  257. onyx_percula says:

    @ ax753753 — There is a long line of people I would like to tell that to please…

    SB#1 called so broken up that she could barely talk through the tears, a close friend working in France was found dead in a pool this morning. The police aren’t sure if it was an accident, suicide or murder. They are waiting on autopsy results…

  258. Jersey Darling says:

    @Exotic Thank you! It’s great to see the new mix of people here.

  259. Exotic SB says:

    @Jersey ~ welcome back 😀

  260. Jersey Darling says:

    So I’ve just skimmed this blog post to catch up and took one thing away:

    flyr, you have an email rule called TITS?

    @Dorky – putting off schoolwork (lots of things have changed since I last posted) and tailoring my resume. I estimate about 8 hours of work ahead of me; it’s going to be a long night!

    @ax, what Richard said – it’s Sofia Vergara 🙂 If I end up posting more frequently, you’ll probably see me most a picture of myself as an avatar eventually.

  261. lil_tm says:

    @ Lil… “Blinders” is clearly a label you use for something. Might be a useful shortcut most of the time, but….
    at some point, you may want to explain what that means to you and why you said “blinders” instead of something more hurtful and specific. imho.

    Polly want a cracker?

  262. Richard says:

    Jersey Darling – You’re the spitting image of Sofia Vergara! I’m new here, too. 🙂

  263. ax753753 says:

    @Jersey Darling: I’m new & I’m not bi, (other than a few crazy days in college) Anyway, if your icon is a pic of you, Damn – you are a very beautiful lady!

  264. ax753753 says:

    Thanks onyx_percula. What you suggested is logical. You are right…as usual it seems. 🙂

  265. onyx_percula says:

    @ ax753753 — There is a difference between keeping things lite and having a good understanding of what to expect. I think something you need to get clear between you two is if your arrangement is NSA or exclusive or somewhere in between. If he travels a lot, especially if its to same place(s)/area(s) then he may “want a girl in every port”. If his mind is straying from lack of contact give him a little sext’ing to remind him what he has 😉

  266. Zack says:

    Hmm, well; too soon to ask if anyone is thinking about Burning Man next year?

  267. DorkyGuy says:

    @Jersey, welcome back! This is a terrific place for procrastinating. What are you putting off?

    Did anyone else get an invite to Brandon’s new mobile app? Any initial thoughts?

  268. Zack says:

    ahh, Harvest Festivals…

  269. SugarySpicey says:

    Jersey – Drama, Trolls, and very little hair pulling

    NC – Thanks, it’s moments like that which leave me feeling outclassed re: running a property alone.

  270. DorkyGuy says:

    @Beach_Girl~ Happy Thanksgiving! It is a good year, and a lot to be thankful for!

  271. Jersey Darling says:

    WOW, the blog is alive!

    I’m procrastinating fiercely right now and can’t seem to stop myself, so after running out of things to google I finally decided to hop on here. I may start participating a little more again. I need a summary of everything that’s happened over the past few months!

  272. ax753753 says:

    Thank you to everyone who kindly tried to help me through my emotions as I dealt with my new pot SD’s continued play on SA. I told myself I needed to stay away from my computer today, which is why I’m just thanking you now.

    @onyx_percula: Thank you for the lesson and encouragement to communicate better with him. I wanted to keep our friendship light and easy, so I tried to stay away from asking him questions about ‘us.’ What SD wants pressure from a SB. None. For the first month, he contacted me every day. But then he drifted & I figured that his evolving desire to email me once every three or four days was just his way of acting while he was accoss the country. But after about 12 days of this, I started to feel foolish and like I was waiting around for someone who might already be emotionally gone. I’m going to wait these next two weeks and see how he acts when he returns to town. I think that will be very telling. After his & my weekend together, I did delete my SA account. But feeling lonely and like a fool over this past week, I created a new one. It’s been denied because it was too explicit. LOL. I might work on it some more this week. Still not sure.

    @flyr: Thank you also for sharing insight on the male mind. You think about sex about every three minutes??? How the hell do you get anything done in life!?!?! Thank you also for the shoe analogy. It’s a good one and he has every right to not only look, but also do whatever he wants. I can only hope he wants to do the right thing by me. Time will tell…
    As for your comment that “Arrangements come with drama . Probably more destruct from miss perception of the other party’s thoughts/ intentions than from real issues.” I can imagine woman screw things up a lot more than men. 🙁 Lastly, regarding your comment about scummy people and good people. I really do believe he is a good person. While we got to know each other, he really never lied to me about things that most guys would have lied about. I work in a unique field so, without him knowing, I was able to easily validate that what he told me was true. At ‘this’ point I am comfortable seeing how the next three weeks play out.

    @GenuineSD: As for your comment that “Billing of the cc is not automatic” DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! That was the most painful of responses to read! 🙁

  273. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars 😀
    Happy Canadian Thanksgiving 😀

  274. OklaOpera says:

    @O_P As an SD I list my ethnicity as Caucasian though it is just enough to get me my yearly cut of the local casino and suddenly I’m proud to show my heritage! I figure I look white so I should claim white. I think it saves on any misunderstandings.

  275. OklaOpera says:

    @gtt – My allowance offer is small but adequate given my expectation of 1 weekend per month due to my time restrictions (no wife but I am a single father). Therefore, I openly tell my SBs I have no expectation of exclusivity. I am observant of logins however. My current SB stopped logging into SA a day before we met which is quite sweet and only confirms she is honest with me in who she is and what she needs. My last SB checked SA like a watch and went at it with such a vehemence that I think she had turned pro.

    Beach_Girl is right though, if it bothers you let her know in an honest and non-judgmental way. Otherwise, it will fester.

  276. gtt_envy says:

    Just going off pictures it always seems much of the NA are really AA and they are probably just putting that hoping to appeal to a broader audience!! Of course this caucasian loves some AA ooooh la la!!

    As far as my SB logging into SA from time to time. She assurred me I’m her guy and there no one in her life she talks to more. She says it fun to read the emails she gets and her friend sends her profiles to look at for her since her friend is first timer.

    We will see!! 🙂

  277. KatPaw says:

    Where are all the Sugars today?

  278. kwissle says:

    Do it when you are comfortable not when someone pressures you to.

  279. Zack says:

    lol: “Caucasish” sounds about right…

  280. KatPaw says:

    Oh and her skin tone is never pale or translucent.

  281. Zack says:

    @ OP, Or what?

  282. KatPaw says:

    Onyx are they young? Probably just stupid. My oldest had native blood from her fathers side. Yes she has dark dirty blond hair but has beautiful chocolate eyes and her skin tone gets dark when shes in the sun. (Shes about 1/8th)

  283. onyx_percula says:

    Random — Been killing time looking at profiles this morning. I am beginning to wonder if something has changed… I see so many girls listing “Native American” as their ethnicity. Now I know this can be a touchy subject, but having grown up where I had friends that were native and how they feel about people claiming relation, it just makes me wonder if these blue eyed blond with skin so white they are almost transparent know what “Native American” actually means. The tribes I grew up around required someone to be 1/8 or more to be recognized as part of the tribe. Or is this the new PC education system at work? Or just dumb girls?

  284. Zack says:

    @ Lil… “Blinders” is clearly a label you use for something. Might be a useful shortcut most of the time, but….

    at some point, you may want to explain what that means to you and why you said “blinders” instead of something more hurtful and specific. imho.

  285. lil_tm says:

    Welcome back, lil 🙂 I guess you’ve had a bad experience?

    That’s sweetie…always being sweet. 🙂
    I have had some bad experiences in dating and relationships. Mostly due to naiveté and an over protective parent who would go out of her way to hide harsh realities from me. You live and you learn, though. I feel people should be allowed to trip, stumble and fall. You grow as a person and get some worldly experience under you belt. 😉

    Even so, no one has the advantage of avoiding pain and hurt all the time. When we have feelings for a person and you want things to work, it’s easy to put your blinders on and pretend like you’re not getting taken advantage of.

    @Lil this is often true and those of us that have big hearts need to be more careful about seeing the warning signals from others.

    These days I’m more prone to letting people prove themselves to me. If they are legit, they will be willing to show it. If not, you have your answer.

    Once trust has been established, they have my loyalty and I will do just about anything for the people I care about…within reason. :p

  286. flyr says:


    trust but verify

    before shooting make sure you are not looking at the mirror

  287. flyr says:

    RE Axian dilemma – Your newbie SD, if he is like most men, will think about sex at various intervals . For most men the interval is roughly 3 minutes , that’s 20 times per hour , 300+ times a day. If he is on the road is browsing through SA more harmful than hanging out in the hotel bar or one of the clubs. It depends on the person.

    It you stopped to look at some shoes today it will not mean that you are throwing the shoes I gave you away or that my gift was inadequate.

    A dangerous generalization is that women are more prone to create scenarios out of bits of information than are men. ie He did not comment about my hair that means he hates it ……. while the male brain is processing something like how can someone this smart be so sexy and beautiful ………

    Arrangements come with drama . Probably more destruct from miss perception of the other party’s thoughts/ intentions than from real issues. Most of us have some great stories. That does not mean that there are not dishonest , scummy people of both sexes out there but it’s important not to shoot the good guys.

  288. KatPaw says:

    @Lil this is often true and those of us that have big hearts need to be more careful about seeing the warning signals from others.

  289. sweetie says:

    Welcome back, lil 🙂 I guess you’ve had a bad experience?

  290. lil_tm says:

    The world truly is full of unredeemable assholes

    Predator and prey..

    The naive people with big hearts get preyed on by the slick and heartless.

    Sad but true. 🙁

  291. sweetie says:

    About reading profile after profile, since when does world traveling weigh more than common-sense? Oh, and mentioning the finer things… so irrelevant! Everybody likes to eat (hopefully) good food and travel a bit, why is it such a big deal and since when should that make anybody special?

  292. Zack says:

    @ OP Heh, you can tell something about a person from their problems, chuckle.

    Emotions are insidious, and wonderful…

    Objectivity is a useful tool, generally.

  293. NC Gent says:

    @SugarSpicey – totally off topic… your start capacitor on your garage door opener is almost
    gone. Look up your brand and model on the back plate and order one online. Takes about 5 minutes to replace and there are lots of instructions and videos on the web. It will cost you $15 versus $125. Back to sugar but I will still be a dork 🙂

  294. onyx_percula says:

    @ ax753753 — I can confirm the date thing. I renewed mine and the creation date on my profile changed to the billing date.

    Communication is key. My new SB said to me in a fit of frustration this week, “Do you believe everything anyone tells you!?!?!”… “Yes, until I have good reason not to.”. That doesn’t mean believe blindly or without thought and consideration.

    The best leader I ever worked with taught my a huge life lesson. “Take the emotion out of it!”. It’s hard as hell sometimes, but separating yourself from the emotional impact of a situation allows you fully utilize your intellect, your empathy, to find balanced and reasonable thought. Often the start of the “situation” was an emotional reaction to something, in ax753753’s case it was seeing that her new SD was still active on SA. That hurt. Ideally you would want to cool off before doing anything, saying anything, changing anything. It’s f’ing as hard as hell to do! But if you can IME your life will be better for it, you will suffer less and enjoy yourself more. Strong emotion tends to block clear and balanced thinking.

    Often the root of those strong emotional reactions is something/someone not meeting expectations. When that happens its like a part of the known world suddenly changed, rattling everything around it, like a foundation cracking, it effects the whole structure. Again this is f’ing hard as hell to do, but try not to set one sided expectations. Communications is key!

    I had this very conversation this my new SB, “being active on sugar sites, sites in general”. We have been very honest with what we want. Without going into the details, she has given me until December to “clear up my harem ‘situation'” lol, and enter into an exclusive arrangement with her. She has no problem with my sugar accounts… but out of respect for her I will deactivate my accounts when we reach that point of exclusivity. She closed, deactivated her’s before we entered our arrangement.

  295. GenuineSD says:

    @ax. Billing of the cc is not automatic, although if you renew, the profile date does change.

  296. KatPaw says:

    Ahh ok then completely different boat then.. Hmmm I know for SB the cc is not automatic every month you need to resubmit it.

  297. ax753753 says:

    Sorry, I meant ‘consummating’

  298. ax753753 says:

    Thanks flyr and KatPaw. We actually spent a weekend together consmating the friendship/relationship. (same thing in my book) It was a great weekend for both of us. After I wrote my previous post this morning i wrote him an email saying that “I saw his new profile. It looked good.” and that “I wish him luck with it.”

    He responded saying that he didn’t create a new one and asked how I came to that assumption. I said because his profile says the date it was created. He responded that that was the date SA automatically billed his card.

  299. KatPaw says:

    @ax sounds like you were counting your chicks before the eggs hatched. You have yet to enter an arrangement.. There may be a click there over text phone ect but face to face is the true test. Never hurts to have several pot..

  300. flyr says:

    @AX – Not clear if you were in an arrangement, had decided you would be in one without meeting etc

    I think there’s some element of window shopping or entertainment in wandering around SA. However, if he has changed his name etc that indicates something different.

    But until you have consummated the relationship i would expect that both would keep their eyes open….

  301. ax753753 says:

    @gtt: I love your question as I have been facing that lately myself. The pot I have been communicating with for the last seven weeks has slowed down his communications with me. (I should clarify that he has been across the country during this time and is scheduled to return in two weeks.) His slowing in communication has definitely hurt. I didn’t log in to SA for six of the last seven weeks out of respect to giving our relationship a try. When I did login three days ago, I saw that he had a new name and was active on the site. I was crushed when I saw this. The sadness naturally turned to a little bit of disappointment and anger. He sent me an email two days ago mentioning that he’ll be home in two weeks and ready to play. Honestly, after going through the range of feelings I felt after seeing him still active on SA, I’m feeling a little over him. I think if anyone does log in while in an arrangement, that they are ‘cheating’ on the arrangement and should be WELL aware that they may jeopardize it.

  302. nwsugarbaby says:

    @gtt- there I go with a typo. I meant 1 not some SD.

  303. nwsugarbaby says:

    @zack-good point about the limo. we will find alternative transportation….too bad riding bikes drunk is a dui. I dont live in the city or ride a bike often it would be interesting. I could name some more specific places, but that would have to be off this public forum. My area does have a lot of good microbrews.

    @WCSD – British Columbia is on my list of places to go visit. I was up in Alberta a couple days over the summer. Canadians are some of the nicest people. They just want to hang out and party with everyone.

    @flyer-my college there has definitely been problems with prof and student relationships. most of the time the college tries to ignore the problem if the professor brings in a lot of research dollars. I had a friend who finally got justice with her prof hitting on her inappropriately and harassing her. He only got asked to leave the position though…she is still pursuing a civil case. I had a SD offer from a professor in a different one of the colleges at the University. I wasn’t sure I would be comfortable enough even though it would have not been a problem as he wasn’t teaching me.

    @gtt-I stay with some SD. I don’t have time or the desire for more than that.

  304. Exotic SB says:

    @gtt – at least she isn’t hiding it 😛

  305. gtt_envy says:

    @DorkyGuy, I knew someone was going to catch that. I do log on every 2-3 weeks and just click on my favorites since she doesn’t have her login hidden I see it.

  306. gtt_envy says:

    It’s best if I just ask her lol communication is key 😉

  307. DorkyGuy says:

    “I’ve never had to really broach this as usually when I start hanging out with a SB they stop logging in as do I. Current SB still logs in I know I have no right to care, but I obviously still do. Nature of the beast I suppose !!”

    Maybe a silly question, but how do you know she still logs in if you stopped logging in?

  308. Beach_Girl says:

    Well all my wrong emails from this week have been rectified 😀 I feel better already lol…
    A pot SD told me i didn’t seem like a ninny to him at all but a Sweetheart 😀 lol…

  309. sweetie says:

    Gtt, what if she’s not really looking? It’s like checking email… Or, do you think she’s not 100% happy with the arrangement? And, did she say she wanted the 5k/month? Are you both exclusive? Are there any reasons for you to be suspicious?

  310. Beach_Girl says:

    Gtt~ i agree you can not control her logging in to SA, but you could tell her you are uncomfortable with it… be honest.

    Exotic~ you know what’s right for you 😀

  311. Exotic SB says:

    @gtt – to me, quality entails much more than $$$. It depends what kind of arrangement you have I suppose…if there is a good connection perhaps just speaking how you are feeling would be enough. No one says you have to tell her to stop – but you can tell her how you feel and observe her response to help you give you a better awareness of whether or not she is the kind of quality you desire in your life. If you didn’t talk about this stuff beforehand, you are right, you can’t really have any expectations…but you can keep lines of communication open now 🙂

  312. gtt_envy says:

    @Exotic, I agree quality over quantity and while I feel I’m quality on many levels she isn’t getting 5k/month from me, so who I am to say when she stops?

  313. Exotic SB says:

    @gtt ~ if you are bothered now it would be wise to speak with her about this and get it off your chest or you will just begin to find more things ‘wrong’ perhaps?!…once you know something, you can’t un-know it…

  314. Exotic SB says:

    @Kat ~ totally on the same page with you, sugar! Thanks for sharing with me xo

  315. Exotic SB says:

    @gtt ~ when SD and I committed to an arrangement together, I stopped logging onto SA. I still frequented the blog, but not SA…personally I only want one SD in my life…as long as I am being honest (and he is too!) and our needs are being met – why have it any other way? My philosophy is quality over quantity!

  316. gtt_envy says:

    There may not be enough SBs to answer, but all opinions are welcome.

    How do you feel about your SB having other SDs? Or Sbs how common is this? Or put another way if they are active on sa.com while in aarrangement with you?

    I’ve never had to really broach this as usually when I start hanging out with a SB they stop logging in as do I. Current SB still logs in I know I have no right to care, but I obviously still do. Nature of the beast I suppose !!

  317. KatPaw says:

    @exotic My marriage is open and completely honest. I personally never could cheat do the sneaking ect it’s not in my makeup. I have been cheated on it hurts and no I never blamed the other woman it was he who lied. Not only to me but often to them too.

  318. Exotic SB says:

    @Kat @Dorky~ see there is a part of me that does not mind so much (ie: married SD’s). “I” just don’t like lying. I am not the one with any sacred vow to another human being at this time. I have been cheated on in the past and truly I was never mad at the ‘other woman’…she didn’t commit to me; he did. And conversely, I too have been in an open relationship – and to be honest – the open relationship worked very well as it keeps lines of communication flowing that would otherwise become stagnant b/c of the ‘closed relationship’ – ie: no reason to communicate openly as we leave ourselves no options to choose from and to communicate about in this linear idea of relationship. Then when we go to communicate when one person in said relationship finally can’t stand being contained in a box anymore, and we don’t have the balls to just SAY IT, because in this time we have forgotten how to be honest in our communication and so many expectations build up. Innately I don’t believe any of enjoy hurting others…So no judgment either way – everyone is at where they are at. To me traditional relationships are…interesting. And for another discussion lol…Ahh still sitting with the married local SD thing… maybe I will just meet up with him and feel it through. Hmmmm. And really, I am happy this SD would not want to marry me since he is already married..that was the reason I called it off with my first and only SD. SD’s marriage really isn’t any of MY business…I just don’t want to meet at a hotel each and every time we get together….HA! I really just need to talk to this pot. I think 😉 Not sure why I am stressing lol…maybe b/c it’s a little close to home 😛

  319. SugarySpicey says:

    Dorky – it’s been acting up lately (the motor attached to the ceiling , not the control) and I have to climb up, unplug it for 10 minutes and then when I plug it back in it’s usually fine. It’s needing a little more time tonight so I’ll either hit the late show or take a bubble bath and update my Gravatar. 😉

  320. DorkyGuy says:

    Or, you are using a battery powered opener, and your battery is dead.

  321. DorkyGuy says:

    @Spicy, how handy do you feel tonight?

    If all else fails, there should be an emergency release that you can pull that will let you lift the garage door by hand.

    More likely, the garage door opener just doesn’t have power. Either i has come unplugged, or the breaker it is attached to has flipped.

  322. SugarySpicey says:

    Well Richard, I walked out to leave, pushed the “open” button on the garage and nothing. Pulled out the ladder, tinkered around with the opener, realized I’m outclassed, and am now curled up in bed with the last glass of that Merlot and my laptop. It’s sooooo hot!

  323. DorkyGuy says:

    *WARNING… If you are a married SD or SB, just skip this post. Don’t even read it!*

    @Exotic~ My thoughts on fidelity: A vow taken before God and family is sacred. If you don’t want to be held to the terms of your vow any longer, then man up and be honest about it, and either end the marriage or seek your spouse’s permission to stray. To let your husband/wife live in a lie, believing you to be a faithful spouse, while you are cheating, is profoundly selfish. Even if you think they are happier in the lie, and the truth would destroy them. Man up, and do right by them. Tell the truth or stay faithful. Pick one.

    My perspective on this comes from having been the faithful spouse who was cheated on. It provides a certain perspective.

    Even if you take the “honesty” factor out of it, look at it from the practical angle. Is it better to man up and say “I don’t want to be married anymore” today, or is it better to let them catch you cheating, and have that blow everything to hell down the road?

    I try not to judge SBs who go with marrieds … I know that many SBs really need the help that can come from the arrangement, and limiting marrieds from the equation dramatically limits their prospects. Personally, if I were a SB, being involved in that deception would be a line I couldn’t cross, no matter how much I needed the help. I couldn’t rationalize it.

  324. Richard says:

    Sugary – Should have warned me…have to believe that in 2013 I could have figured out how to meet you for that date! 🙂

  325. KatPaw says:

    Hmmmm see myself I am married ( yes with my hubs knowledge) so a married SD does not bother me in the least.

  326. Exotic SB says:

    @Dorky ~ I would be happy to hear your perspective.. 🙂 I want to make a well rounded decision taking all perspectives and my own feelings into account…

  327. Exotic SB says:

    @Spicey – congrats and enjoy your night! Thanks for the advice…the lying part weighs on me I have to admit. I have to really feel this through. Omitting married SD’s tremendously lowers potential for arrangement…but I would most prefer to feel GOOD about the whole experience. I haven’t had to really venture this road thus far myself……oh AND I concur with flyr!!!! Hit Delete on the old posts on your blog!

    @ax753753 ~ the ‘in the same small town’ thing would be WONDERFUL right now with a single SD! Lol…can’t we have our cake and eat it too??!

  328. SugarySpicey says:

    Flyr – Now that is an interesting idea. Make the pirate walk the plank. Hmmmm, I’ll have to seriously contemplate that.

    As for tonight, I’m trying a first. On a Saturday night I am getting all dolled up for a hot date – with myself. I’m taking myself to drinks and then Romeo and Juliet. This lying in bed wallowing in sadness thing isn’t working for me.

  329. flyr says:

    @Spicey – The Doc recommends an old technique. Burn everything you have written about him from your blog, your emails etc – erase it all . Focus on other stuff like working out doing something fun. No wallowing in self pitty. Perhaps take advantage of some unsuspecting guy. Move away from drama.

  330. DorkyGuy says:

    Lol, I will bite my tongue on the marriage/fidelity issue… I am hopelessly outnumbered, and all the villagers would be at my gates with torches and pitchforks 😛

    @Spicy~ A grandfather twice over… Both girls were pregnant at the same time. It has been a very, very fun year!

  331. SugarySpicey says:

    I will weigh in on the subject of cheating since I know it well. The secret is to be prepared. That means you are prepared that at any time the whole thing could come tumbling down and he doesn’t ever call again, or his wife or teenage daughter calls you. Be prepared with a story should you run into someone he knows, how do you know each other, do you look appropriate for the lie you’ll have to tell (no sexy dresses if you’re his new financial advisor)? Be prepared that he’ll have to step out of the room to make calls home, will have to cancel plans and make plans at the last minute – and be prepared that NO MATTER WHAT you must never Google his wife!! It will only make you crazy.

  332. ax753753 says:

    @ Exotic: Yeah, funny timing 🙂 If you meet up in a diffferent town VERY DISCREETLY, then I’d go for it.

  333. Exotic SB says:

    @ax753753 ~ great question and even greater timing!

  334. Exotic SB says:

    Soooo. There is this local SD (and I mean LOCAL SD…same very small town!) that I met up with a few years back. Back then we met for about a half hour and he was very generous gifting me 500 to say thank you for my time. Feeling rather uncomfortable living in the same town with him being married, I opted for another SD that was single and out of town. So I recognized his profile and was attempting to NOT answer any of his emails remembering this, but he sent a 3rd email to me today and I couldn’t resist but to peek – lol – and it says “You are perfect. I will be a pest.” and he still doesn’t know that I am the one from before who lives in the same town (I have a different location listed…and so does he!..)

    I remember him from before and he doesn’t remember me of course b/c he doesn’t see any aspect of my entire face from my profile. I already know he is the real deal, and that we indeed click, but, I haven’t been with a married SD!!!!!!!!! Much less a married SD that lives in the same SMALL TOWN as me…! I have responded letting him know that we actually met a few years back..seems only right to do so. I am just not sure about my comfort level in being so close to home with a married SD..any perspectives or experiences to shed some light for me sugars??

  335. ax753753 says:

    Dear Married SD’s, Are there things about you being married that you wish more SB’s were aware or considerate of?

  336. SugarySpicey says:

    To be fair, he has so much money I think he didn’t really think much of what the unexpected debt would mean, and thought that he’d be able to manipulate me into coming back. But I called his shitty bluff. And, remember, he had bought me a trip to Mexico the month before. So…

  337. KatPaw says:

    @Sugary ohh I think the cc thing is slimy.. All because you didn’t react how he wanted you to to a fake illness he made up. Ugh

  338. SugarySpicey says:

    Dorky – thanks for, at least you, agreeing with me on the credit card thing. I thought it was slimey, but I never said anything to him about it. As blunt as I am with the world, in relationships, unless it’s predefined D/s I’m actually pretty passive.

    I believe you were preparing for a grand baby when all that went down. How is that now, can we call you Papa Dorky?

    As for misspelling, mine was in the transition from my “Oops” of creating my profile under my real name and then adding a letter at a time to update it so that I could change my handle without getting caught up in moderation. Plus I just think it looks sassier with the E. There is no inside joke, other than in my head when I make fun of land developers who add the superfluous E in order to make something seem more desireable: Towne Pointe Manors etc.

  339. DorkyGuy says:

    @Spicey~ Holy cow.. the stuff with the credit card… that’s really messed up.

    I really don’t get some men. I can’t wrap my head around how they treat women. Your story reminds me of the video from Ted Talks where a gal was invited on a date to a really fancy restaurant, the guy ordered appetizers, wine, etc, then “went to the bathroom”, leaving her with a $1300 bill. In a similar vein, I can’t count the number of stories I have heard from women (SBs and IRL) about men leeching off of them.

    The world truly is full of unredeemable assholes, and the best strategy is just to eject them from your life as soon as you recognize them for what they are.

    Now I have to search through the blog and find where the whole “misspelling -y words” inside joke began. Fattey did it to me by calling me Dorkey, so now I must understand! Since he’s a bastard, it probably started with him.

  340. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ I wouldn’t be able to smoke anything, i’d get addicted again. I like the smell when it’s being smoked but not ashtray smell… cigars smell good…

  341. SugarySpicey says:

    I am so addicted to second hand smoke! Never been able to smoke more than a couple puffs though, it gets me too high. I do like a cigar every now and then , but I don’t really inhale those, I just like the taste.

  342. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ i love the style! omg, beautiful… I am liking it, the smoking is making me want to smoke though lol…

  343. SugarySpicey says:

    Mad Men!!!! Betty Draper is my fashion icon!

  344. Beach_Girl says:

    Kat! yes, just be yourself and things will work out!

    OMG watching first season of Mad Men… all that smoking hahhaha wow…

  345. KatPaw says:

    @BG yes we need to remember to just be ourselves. We can’t be second guessing ourselves! We are wonderful just as we are!

  346. Beach_Girl says:

    Kat~ i know right? I was such a ninny with this pot hahahah i just have to laugh at myself… hey, if he replies then, he didn’t think I was such a ninny lol… ah well, maybe it wasn’t meant to be 😀
    I will be better next time, learn from our mistakes and all that

  347. KatPaw says:

    @BG yeah I hate second guessing myself because I end up coming off not as myself. It drives me crazy.. I know I don’t need to be anything other then me..

  348. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ 😀 replied …

  349. SugarySpicey says:

    Hi Beach – the comments section on the “About” page emails me. I just sent you an email as well.

  350. Beach_Girl says:

    Kat~ Yeah, i am very good at second guessing and retyping my words… lol, I’m ok when i know someone better, but still, i’m better at talking 😀

    Spicey~ wanted to mail you, but i can’t find the link on your blog… missmontreal1 a gmail

  351. flyr says:

    Onyx – you know it’s a sure thing when the profile pic matches a booking photo

  352. onyx_percula says:

    @ flyr — “You don’t need to go the professional department.” If not professional, then semi-pro? lol. The ones I get a laugh out of is the ones that you search their profile pictures and find them in escort ads.

  353. SugarySpicey says:

    Thanks Genuine, it’s all really fresh and I’m pretty depressed today. Especially silly when I logged online this morning and saw that he’d been on my blog (easy to spot the one site visitor in Indonesia). He visited about 50 pages worth of posts but didn’t message me or say anything to me – we’re done. I don’t know why he’d want to read all my erratic ranting and self-pity now anyway, but it made me feel bad.

  354. Beach_Girl says:

    Genuine~ I don’t think i’ve ever been called kid!!! 😀 it’s sweet, thanks lol

  355. KatPaw says:

    Well all I can say is wow..
    @bg oh I come off as a ninny all the time. I understand the second guessing yourself when you are writing something especially to a potSD.

  356. Zack says:

    @ BG, any story behind the new shoe pic?

  357. sweetie says:

    Sugary, love, you did it again. You managed to explain yourself to Zack, for no reason. Do not engage in his strange monologues, obviously he can’t behave like a grown-up. Just ignore him.

    Zack, please relax, man. No need for hostility. Sometimes is better to check you words before you post them, you know? And keep your judgements to yourself, you certainly crossed the line this time. Why are you all bent out of shape over Sugary and Milk? It does not concern you. Unless you’re Milk…

  358. Beach_Girl says:

    Flyr~ i inspect too much lol retype often… yes, i make lots of typos lately, i’m typing on an old laptop, I’m house sitting and don’t want to use the computer here. lets just say it’s because i’m french lol

  359. flyr says:

    @Zack – You don’t need to go the professional department. Simply carefully read the ads and you’ll find one or two in your area where women use the plural in what they are looking for. It’s like going to the high board the first time , you have to forget about form and let gravity do its job.

    @ beach – try the email rule TITS

    T Type
    I Inspect
    TO – Make sure its going to the right place
    S Send

    If you are going to write a long post do it in word or wp and then block copy after spell and grammar check ditto for profiles

  360. Beach_Girl says:

    Genuine~ How are you? Replied… lets hope i didn’t sound too much like a ninny 😀

  361. GenuineSD says:

    I hadn’t really understood the true magnitude of what happened with Pirate till now. I’m so sorry to hear it! Obviously better off without him.

    @Beach. Hey kid! You’ve got mail !

    @Zack. Gotta agree with ax….
    Sounds like you need a chill pill…

  362. Beach_Girl says:

    FBSD~ Woo hooo…Well, you are my blog crush!!! 😛

  363. Beach_Girl says:

    Flyr~ I’ve never been good at writing things out. It’s ok, it’s me 😀 but these last 2 weeks have been worse. Over worked, not enough sleep and i’ve been craving a cigarette…(quit 5 months ago)
    I re read our messages and yes, i was a ninny. I said weird things and sent out one liners , stupid one liners too lol… omg, it’s hilarious actually. These few days off coming up are very welcomed, i’m tired maybe, but it’s ok, at least I know the problem and my solution will be simple. I just need to be more myself, type how i talk. i sensor myself a lot, think too much of the outcome before it happens. Envision the possibilities before they are offered, that sort of thing.
    Lets hope I get a second chance, never know what can happen 😀 If i don’t, it’s a learning experience and that’s it… a step towards a better pot SD… 😛

  364. FatBastardSA says:


    I don’t remember the exact date. SA is a code for something. I cannot give away the meaning.

    @Beach Girl

    You are getting one step closer to those pair of Nike heels!

  365. Zack says:

    Sorry, susp, I don’t follow your blog. My fault.

  366. lil_tm says:

    Other than “old saggy balls”, what do coeds talk about?

    Pizza, Ciroc and Victoria’s Secret? 😉

  367. Zack says:

    ps…is there a return policy for you?

  368. SugarySpicey says:

    Zack – I have no idea what you’re talking about. Nor do you. There was no sense of entitlement with my previous SD, I felt I owed it to him not to lie and pretend my feelings were stronger than they were. Did you NOT read about his huge, gross, bizarre whopper of a lie? Nothing about that past relationship was me feeling entitled.

    TP, and what happened there is well documented on my blog, and I don’t think there’s a single person who would say I screwed TP over in anyway, or acted entitled to anything other than expectations that he not give me Chlamidyia after banging third world prostitutes . And, he dumped me! After he did all sorts of hurtful things including abandon me in Bali.

    So don’t talk about shit you don’t understand you crazy troll.

  369. Zack says:

    yeah, just some peace. ty

  370. Zack says:

    ok, so you told him you lost all respect for him and did not return his love as expressed and desired for months, and then he had tha\e gall to sick you with things he made you buy. Yeah, that was wrong of him. Maybe even sick, if he was lying in the hospital. Ok, SU MK III…just figuring out how things like you act. TY!

    Oh, wait….What Your opinion, SU MK III?

  371. ax753753 says:

    @Zack: Respectfully, maybe it’s time for you to call an escort. You seem a little wound up. I think a good fuck would do you wonders…

  372. flyr says:

    @Beach G – You’re fine in your writing. It’s really easy to edit something in a way that accidentally changes the meaning or commits a grammatical felony We all do it

  373. Zack says:

    oh, just reread, duh…
    1) he loved you

    well, that helps explain your sense of entitlement.

  374. Zack says:

    ok, I kept trying understand your perspective and I think I finally get that you think you were cheated? Is this typical? Did TP cheat you? Lie to you? TB? Did they deny you something to which you were entitled? Oh, all those awful people who always just Use and Cheat you! SPYING on you Even to make you look really stupid!!! Such Bastards in your life! Maybe you need shoes. I can think of someone that might fit you about right.

    Did you personally break your hymen before your first sexual encounter b/c …well, if you did, you explain it…

  375. Zack says:

    I couldn’t read through that. Are you new?

  376. SugarySpicey says:

    Zack – were you asking me? I don’t understand anything you say sometimes.

    The reason his “return on investment” comment was strange:

    1. He fell in love
    2. I did not – but still enjoyed his company and we had LOTS of hot sex, without him needing to ask for it.
    3. Thinking some great drama would change my mind about being in love he pretended to be in the hospital – with this huge elaborate lie.
    4. I didn’t call him on the lie but I lost all respect for him, and withdrew a little. I didn’t “end” things though, just has a very frank conversation about where my feelings stood relative to his. So he ended things.
    5. Our arrangement had been that I would fly to meet him places and he would pay my American Express bill each month to cover those costs as well as all sorts of splurges that he would encourage me to buy – but the card was in my name and credit. It was MY card.
    6. His elaborate lie happened about six days before the end of the billing cycle, four months into our arrangement. He didn’t pay it, not did he tell me he wasn’t going to, nor had we officially broken up. So, at the last minute I paid what I could and I’m still paying off the difference (fun for me, but I’d have never bought La Perla for myself, he liked it so I ordered it).
    7. Once he didn’t keep his deal, and lied I was rather disgusted and significantly cooled toward him. We were supposed to meet up but instead he sent me a message saying “I invested a lot into this relationship and thought I was going to get something more permanent out of it. I’d like to discuss my dissatisfaction with the return on my investment.”

    I didn’t reply. Months later he’s trying to restart things, but I don’t trust him now, and realize that he uses his money to manipulate.

    – I found all of that really troubling and strange.

    I am not a “ship jumper” I’m a “stay too long and be too optimistic” girl.

  377. Zack says:

    FB, may I ask when and why you added SA to your “NAME”?

  378. Zack says:

    I do tend to take implications as intentional. Shrug.

  379. Beach_Girl says:

    FBSD~ you are not a ninny… lol but me, mailing people,,,, yep!

  380. FatBastardSA says:


    I don’t care if anyone thinks I am a ninny. I don’t want to be associated with yourself though. No offense :-).

  381. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ oh yes, I do… the reason maybe i don’t is because I type, delete, re type etc… I mostly do it when writing emails … i’m a lot better in a face to face situation.
    I just second guess myself and lose track of what i’m saying, it comes out all wrong lol and yes, it makes me sound like a ninny! 😀
    it’s ok, if they are interested in what they see, i hope my ninniness doesn’t turn them off lol

  382. Zack says:

    Nicely controlled, su, I stand down. For the time 😛

  383. SugarySpicey says:

    Beach – you never come across as a ninny!

  384. Zack says:

    Beach, relax. You are charming, people want to talk -TO YOU-. It’s ninnies like me and FB (sa) that need to try to be high falutin’

  385. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars! 😀

    Sunny Skies and cool weather today, so beautiful!

    I love that you are all eloquent in your typing, i wish i had that skill… I always second guess myself, delete , retype etc… then my meaning is lost and i come across as a ninny… I need to practice this. I was writing with a pot and I did it again… second guessing, deleting the text, I do so much better talking… I forgot how hard it was to mail people, i guess after I know them better, I’m better at communication my thoughts in text. Talking is so much a part of my job and daily like that typing is harder I guess… so frustrating!

    i admire you writers here 😀 …

  386. Zack says:

    Basics it is then.

  387. flyr says:

    @zak “Flyer, ty, but please consider the cases in which….”

    If you have crashed several times you need to go back to basics .

    AGE – Someone mentioned that many undergrad and grad students have sex with professors. Before Gloria Allred sleeping with the boss / other execs was not unusual. Often sex with the prof or boss is not about economic benefits but about power ( knowledge, leadership etc) being an attractor.

  388. Zack says:

    Ohh, SU Mk III are you serially dumped or do you just habitually jump ship before you need to think about someone else? Bummer! Sux to be U!!!!!!!!!!!!! Must be hell to live in such a state, it is a wonder you don’t blame others.

    I understand how you can label the concept of “return” as “Strange.” It doesn’t seem in you much more than any real issues in your drama other than those in you.

    if you wish to retort, please preface by defining:

    Passive-aggressive behavior is the indirect expression of hostility, such as through procrastination, hostile jokes, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible.
    For research purposes, the DSM-IV describes passive-aggressive personality disorder as a “pervasive pattern of negativistic attitudes and passive resistance to demands for adequate performance in social and occupational situations”.

  389. Zack says:

    @su mk IiI…tank you, sugar. No moderation. several of my posts just didn’t post. Wasted effort, but at least I thought about what I’d write a lot more than you last night, Sugar.

    (V mode off, @ your pleasure, dear.)

  390. Zack says:

    btw sorry, you sound too much like my (separated) wife and, well, she’s not whole.

  391. Zack says:


    Stop hitting us over the head with your endless, self inflicted drama. Go pout where you advertise, not where we talk.

  392. SugarySpicey says:

    Beach – the drama with MILK was really short lived, he told such a weird lie thinking it would make me fall in love with him. But, emotionally, I was just perplexed, not sad. And then his whole comment about wanting more return for his “investment” was very strange. But that all ended without even a raised voice.

    TP has been the only real drama, because I had real feelings for him. It wasn’t an SD thing, we met on SA, but it was much more a relationship with boundaries.

  393. Zack says:

    Which suggests issues here are mostly human drama.

    Anyone else get that?

  394. ax753753 says:

    @DorkyGuy: Regarding you response:
    “@FB~ I like the idea of your “pay on ejaculation” device, and it got me thinking. The world would be a much happier place if when men came, it was bank notes that shoot out.” -If this could be possible, I don’t think I’d EVER get out of bed…or off the desk, board room table, car hood, boat deck, etc. 😉

  395. Beach_Girl says:

    Good Morning Sugars 😀

    Spicey~is the drama over? seems like you’ve had lots with your last 3 SDs…

    back to work, a few more hours and i’ll be off 😀 YAY

  396. SugarySpicey says:

    Zack – you have to put something in front of your link (an image tag works), or they’ll get hung up in moderation.

    Please, respond away with your vehemence.

  397. Londonbabe says:

    What an interesting blog.

  398. Zack says:

    Oh, btw, Stormcat, I’m not sure why my recent posts vanished, but I suspect SA is concerned about us posting web links in any manner.


  399. Zack says:


    I find myself containing a …vehement response to this attitude:

    “confident he knows he lost and I won. :p”

    Would you prefer me to respond now or in several years?

    -Zack, not a Carpenter.

  400. SugarySpicey says:

    Richard. – Mwwwweaaaaahhhh! But you should say sweet things on my blog instead to dick with The Pinate out of spite, and help me move on faster, confident he knows he lost and I won. :p

    On the interview: turns out the guy really just wants to fuck me – he actually reached out and touched my hair and asked why I wasn’t wearing it long anymore.

  401. Beach_Girl says:

    Exotic~ It sounds like a lot of fun…. 😛

    just got out of the jacuzzi, so relax!

  402. Exotic SB says:

    @Onyx ~ I do have a vanilla! But day lilies aren’t on my list – I will most definitely have to find some – honestly I haven’t heard of it!!..now I am VERY curious!

    @BG ~ entirely stimulating.

  403. FatBastardSA says:

    @Dorkey Guy

    “I like my shoes like I like my women. They need to have a tongue, and feel comfy when I slide into them.”

    Same here except I like to order my shoes 2 sizes to small and use a shoe horn to get myself inside.

  404. onyx_percula says:

    @ Exotic SB — It’s funny you mention cinnamon, the women I get the most aroused by are the ones that have a hint of cinnamon like smell in their scent. Vanilla is another great scent to add to you arsenal 😉 Day lilies is another…

  405. Beach_Girl says:

    Exotic~ I haven’t had a SD that was into full body massages, but i’d be will to try!!! sound like a lot of fun 😉

  406. Exotic SB says:

    Mmmm. I used ylang ylang oil and some lavender a little while ago. Smells…..intoxicating! It’s moments like this I KNOW it is most definitely time to find a SD! Lol ~ YES – this means I actually WANT to have sex with my SD…! Any other SB’s like to use oils?..give massages?…do you use any particular combo(s) for the essences? I love using cinnamon – grrreat aphrodisiac – gets the blood FLOWing!!!

  407. DorkyGuy says:

    “@Dorkey Guy

    If that were the case then women would be begging guys to finish in their purse instead of the vagina. The end of the human race!” ~AthleticBastard

    Yeah, but can you imagine what it would do to purse fashion? The people who are still around would be treated to some pretty crazy purse designs. It might be worth it.

  408. Beach_Girl says:

    hahaha Dorkey! it’s all about size in TX!

  409. DorkyGuy says:

    @Richard~ Here in Texas, the belt is all about the size of the buckle.

  410. Richard says:

    Dorky – That explains a lot! 🙂 Women may not be picky about much, but trust me, they notice your shoes and your belt (and whether they match) and the quality of your clothes. You don’t have to be on the cutting edge of fashion, but invest in a few nice pieces and it will pay dividends. Plus, quality clothes are comfortable. IMO.

  411. DorkyGuy says:

    “Dorky and FB – The type of shoes Beach Girl likes aren’t found at Athlete’s Foot. And they cost about half the average monthly salary of an Athlete’s Foot manager. Unfortunately I know because I’ve bought too many pairs of them in my life (no, not for me!).” ~ Richard

    I like my shoes like I like my women. They need to have a tongue, and feel comfy when I slide into them.

  412. Beach_Girl says:

    lol..Dorkey~ too funny… nice

    Richard~ yeah, my shoe addiction is crazy expensive… one day, I will have some of those shoes we like 😀 to walk and not to walk in 😛

    FBSD~ you know there are some nikes with heels, i am waiting for my pair please 😀

  413. FatBastardSA says:

    @Dorkey Guy

    Good work on the puns by the way. People may not have noticed but I prefer a more crude form of humor.

  414. FatBastardSA says:

    @Beach Girl

    Never had a pair of high heeled Nikes go through the store, but if it happens I will think of you first.

    @Dorkey Guy

    If that were the case then women would be begging guys to finish in their purse instead of the vagina. The end of the human race!


    I admire you and despise you at the same time.

  415. Richard says:

    Dorky and FB – The type of shoes Beach Girl likes aren’t found at Athlete’s Foot. And they cost about half the average monthly salary of an Athlete’s Foot manager. Unfortunately I know because I’ve bought too many pairs of them in my life (no, not for me!).

  416. FatBastardSA says:


    For me it is the picture. If the SB is attractive I read the profile. A interesting user name or tag line may get me to read the profile as well.

    Of course this is dumb because I have no way of knowing if the picture is real. I can be forgiven because I live in a fantasy world where rich older doctors/lawyers/business men leave there wives for younger women.

  417. Richard says:

    Sugary – I thought you looked super attractive today…just naturally pretty. I’m sure you’ll get the job unless they are complete idiots.

    I don’t know how to say this without boasting, but I have no trouble attracting twenty-somethings without even mentioning an allowance. In fact, two nights ago I had a 21 year old college senior (a quite cute one, in fact) flirting shamelessly with me and I’m certain I could have taken her home with me, especially after she had her third drink and was pressing me to discuss sexual fetishes with her. It was at a sophisticated dinner and I was in my element, definitely not a frat party. My profile says I’m 43. 🙂

    I don’t date girls that young out of choice, not because it isn’t possible. And I want an arrangement and not a conventional relationship because I don’t want the complications and emotional entanglements at this time in my life.

  418. DorkyGuy says:

    @Spicy~ I am very glad to hear that you may have some closure with TP. Rooting for ya.

    @FB/gtt_envy~ I would add one attribute to your terrific list: “taut tummy”. A friend of mine used to put that in his dating profile.. that he is a “taut tummy guy”. I am not sure if he actually was or not, but he said it served very well to cause women who fudge on their body type to self-filter before contacting him.

    @FB~ I like the idea of your “pay on ejaculation” device, and it got me thinking. The world would be a much happier place if when men came, it was bank notes that shoot out.

    @BeachGirl… Wait… something is dawning on me… You are a shoe lover. FB is a manager in a shoestore. Match made in heaven? Maybe you guys are solemates? I think you should Converse!

    @WCSD~ {applause}

  419. Beach_Girl says:

    FBSD~ 🙁 all my dreams crushed!!! you better get that raise handsome!

  420. Beach_Girl says:

    Kat~ i’m hung and ready
    just looking for my kitty
    those are 2 I saw not long ago, lol…

  421. FatBastardSA says:

    @Beach Girl

    Ha, I don’t see any pool in my backyard! One day, when I make day manager at the athletes foot, I hope to have a pool. Then we can talk vacations!

  422. Beach_Girl says:

    Gtt~ i don’t think it’s the norm, but it happens i would say a lot more than we think!

  423. KatPaw says:

    Ok random question headlines… What makes you want to look at a profile.. So I’d like to hear some of the best & funnies headlines you’ve seen?

  424. FatBastardSA says:


    We started off with the assumption that a typical 22 year old women is hot, and now I learn that there is no difference between a very wealthy 45 year old man and a 45 year old who manages an athletes foot.

    There is only one way to settle this. What do the girls at the dorm have to say about this?

  425. gtt_envy says:

    @FB, my friend it’s you that wears the rose colored glasses if you think 20-22 dating 40+ is the norm! It is not and never will be, but I guess if it makes you feel better to think that you go ahead 😉

  426. Zack says:

    Well, any thoughts?

  427. SugarySpicey says:

    Zack – two years later I was married. I got hitched very young.

  428. Beach_Girl says:

    FBSD~ why i need a SD? i want a SD to have fun unexpected thing, experience things I can’t by myself… having a part time lover, friend, mentor, help with my shoe addiction 😀 experience new and fun things, and yes an allowance is nice… and so much more… 😀
    I need that click you know?

  429. Beach_Girl says:

    Stupid computer… I posted and i typed in the wrong email… makes me nutty!!!!

    WCSD~ I don’t like the rain in BC, it would be hard to live that everyday..but no snow, would be awesome, I sometimes miss my cali life!!!

    FBSD~ i have a pool, but it’s winter now 🙁 vacations???? I wish… unless you are inviting me ? 😛

  430. Beach_Girl says:

    WCSD~ I don’t like the rain in BC, it would be hard to live that everyday..but no snow, would be awesome, I sometimes miss my cali life!!!

  431. Beach_Girl says:

    FBSD~ i have a pool, but it’s winter now 🙁 vacations???? I wish… unless you ae inviting me 😛

  432. FatBastardSA says:


    I wonder what kind of work environment or people you have been around but you have not met many successful men if you have not seen very successful 45 year old men attracting 20 year old women without an allowance. I can’t do it without an allowance but then that is the reason I was on SA in the first place (as I am not very successful).

    Everyone has their opinion though. No matter how wrong you are.

    @Beach Girl

    Swimming pools and vacations. Why do you need a SD exactly :-)?

  433. Zack says:

    @ SuSp, maybe you could have called him a few years later?

  434. Exotic SB says:

    Good evening sugars ~ nice to see such an active blog today 🙂

  435. SugarySpicey says:

    Walking into a surprise interview for my dream job. Wish they hadn’t sprung it on me with no notice, I’ve been on a cherry picker all day hanging banners for a big event and my hair looks like I danced in a wind tunnel.

  436. SugarySpicey says:

    Re: desiring sex with an SD. Maybe I’m not super stoked the first time, but if the first time is good, I’m going to want to go back for more. If you don’t feel sexual eagerness from your SB, you should look for an SB who is more within your sexual strata – just a younger mold. The age issue is only a concern until finesse comes into play.

    That said, when I was 19 and dated a 40 year old I was a little weirded out about the first time, but more because I felt sexually out of my league.

    WCSD and Richard thanks for all the moral support today, BTW – and for posting things TP will read and realize how badly he messed up and how D-O-N-E I am with his stupid bullshit.

  437. Zack says:

    @OP, hmm, conspicuously absent is any mention of that which comes at night, Muhahaha!

  438. KatPaw says:

    Onyx I’m envious!

  439. onyx_percula says:

    We just started are “to die for” time of the year here in the desert. Mid 80’s today, sunny. We might see a few days with highs in the 60 mid winter, and maybe a few with highs over 90, but mostly from now till May its great weather!

  440. Zack says:

    @ Beach_Girl, in re: moving on from “Hate Male:” Good for you! I like your style.

    @WCSD, yeah, and Crimea was a war.

  441. WCSD says:

    Well, the nice thing with Vancouver is that you never (ok rarely) have to shovel snow, unless you live up the mountains on the north shore. You do have to live with the rain, but no scraping ice off your car, etc. If you want the snow, you drive into the mountains and then you are deep in it. I do enjoy the warmth, but still think I prefer cold weather sports instead….

  442. Beach_Girl says:

    Kat~ I agree!!! warmer is better 😀

    off to shower and work again, talk later sugars !!

  443. KatPaw says:

    @BG ahh wasn’t to bad today still had my sweatshirt on today! I prefer it warmer.

  444. Beach_Girl says:

    Zack~ you do seem somewhat distracted at times lol

  445. Zack says:

    I’d actually like to think (just those words) that it’s not a zero sum game, rather more along the conceptual lines of “what costs you 20% gives them 80% so meet in the middle and try to ride that cycle”

    Sorry, I’m a bit distracted @ times.

  446. Beach_Girl says:

    Kat~Oh, your not far from me lol.. 😀 I do like it today, sunny and cool…nice day

    Off to do my 15 minute workout… talk later Sugars

  447. KatPaw says:

    @BG oh there are still plenty of pretty colored full trees.. But there is many bare. I’m in Saratoga NY.

  448. Beach_Girl says:

    Kat~ The trees are full of color here now, it’s beautiful! where are you at that you have no leaves left in the trees?

    Gtt~ oi think everyone wants different things, all possible if you are willing to wait and get what you want. there has to be attraction for me, maybe it’s not the same for everyone! We are all different

  449. Beach_Girl says:

    WCSD~ I don’t enjoy the cold or shoveling snow… i think sunny vacations are the only way to endure winter 😀 Are you searching for a sb now or do you have one? I haven’t talked to you in a while!!!

  450. gtt_envy says:

    *you don’t see its the perks that make this plausible for them* whoops

  451. KatPaw says:

    Ugh I hate the winter!! So not happy that the cold is here.. I already got completely bare trees around me.

  452. WCSD says:

    I don’t mind winter coming. Hockey season…and also skiing in Whistler. Put in a sunny warm vacation somewhere in the middle (or two) and I’m all good.

  453. gtt_envy says:

    @wcsd, I could argue the same point back that if you eleimate the perks you provide to the younger SBs you entertain the sexual side will end if not the whole arrangement.

    Its a fine line and true sexual attraction with a 20 year age gap is rare. I just don’t see how its the perks that make it plausible these girls wouldn’t be sleeping with us for free!

  454. Beach_Girl says:

    Yes, i know right!! yes, i am closing the pool 🙁 winter in almost here 🙁 so sad… like I said many times I need a sunny warm vacation

  455. WCSD says:

    @Beach – Obviously not busy enough to get sucked back into the blog. Looking for a nice long weekend.

  456. Beach_Girl says:

    hello sugars!

    WCSD~ how are you?

  457. WCSD says:

    @gtt – “You don’t think there is a difference if you were to sleep with a hot 30 something your age or a distinguished, older, wealthy, in great shape for her AGE, 58-60yr old who pays you a allowance, trips, etc?”

    I guess my point is that they are exactly the same. I would only have sex with either the 30 something, or the 58-60 something with an allowance if I found the person sexually attractive. The allowance would have no bearing on it. But I also tend to be attracted to the SBs where the money is not the job (paying the rent, food, survial) but just perks. So those women tend to be much more independant, which in my mind allows them to make the same choice that I’d make.

    In the end, you just can’t fathom someone in their early 20s who is sexually attracted to someone older. And nothing I say (or anyone else) will change your mind. If you can’t get over that paradigm then that is that….

  458. Zack says:

    @gtt Hey, fun conversation, but I think you should get out more, no passport required!!

    Check your expectations with the other luggage.

    I thought a lot about what you said. I think It was my Sophomore year in undergrad. ;P

  459. gtt_envy says:

    @WCSD, Great post btw!! I agree with much of what you said we just see things differently that is all. I am in sugar for many of the same reasons you: a connection, true friends with benefits, new experiences, allowing me to be with a women that is normally unattainable (obviously we disagree on that), minimal strings attached, fits my schedule etc etc.

    Our difference in a opinion is in the sincerity of the SB really wanting the sexual piece! There is a difference man I don’t know how else to explain t. The scenarios you describe do happen, but are still very much in the minority! I can’t think of any early 20’s dating anyone near 40 in real life. The closest I know is 27F/42M and 35F/52M! Other countries not included of course! Notice I keep reiterating early 20’s I didn’t say anything about mid 30’s SB’s and 50+ I specifically mean 20-22yr olds that have flooded the site in recent years.

    I’m not saying anyone is faking it or putting on a show. There is a difference between a woman sleeping with a guy who she just straight up likes due to looks, attitude, and OMG he’s so cute versus sleeping with a older, distinguished man, who lavishes, spoils, and pays a allowance.

    Men and women are vastly different, but swap the shoes for a second. You don’t think there is a difference if you were to sleep with a hot 30 something your age or a distinguished, older, wealthy, in great shape for her AGE, 58-60yr old who pays you a allowance, trips, etc?

    I think as men especially alpha men most don’t want to think they have missed a step. So, you hear things like boxers that won’t retire, football players still playing at 38, musicians saying they are better at 68 then they were at 35. Men don’t like to admit they aren’t as great as they once were so they block out he obvious and dismiss what they do not like to hear.

    I’m not saying the women who sleep with you, me, Bob, Bill, FB, whoever are being perfect actresses. I’m saying that most would leave the sexual piece at home if they felt they could, if they truly felt like the arrangement would continue, and it wasn’t some sort of mind trick.

  460. Zack says:

    @ dorkyguy…
    All statements are sloppy generalizations…..

    No. I am.

  461. WCSD says:

    @gtt – I think everyone else has said a lot about your difference in opinion in what you seek. My question is, why are you in sugar? Is it purely to fuck a 22 yr old? If that is the case, why the sugar angle, and not another method (escort, etc.)?

    I am not in sugar for solely the sex. I am single (a widower) and turning 40 in early 2014. So I’m in sugar because honestly I’m not ready for a relationship that is serious but still want some connection and fun. I also do not focus on age, and definitely don’t have a ‘must be under X’ requirement. Does that mean I’ve had young SBs? Of course! And also ones closer to my age. I always have approached sugar as a friends with benefits type of situation, with the benefits being a little different. As for your question if a SB would stay with me without the allowance, I’d have to say yes. I’ve ended many of my sugar relationships because the SB wants it to become more, and I have no interest in that (at this point). Maybe it is because I’m single, and they allow themselves to start to feel that way and hope to change my mind, or maybe I’m just a hot commodity (ok….I’m sure it is more the first than the second), but it has happened. It doesn’t happen all the time, but it has happened enough.

    I’m also surprised that you haven’t seen in your life actual young women going after older men. Power, social status, etc. have a huge impact on attracting women, I’d say equal if not more than looks alone. Students dating their professor, politicians sleeping with interns, bosses and their employees, all of these are very common examples of power and status attracting younger women. Now you aren’t going to see those examples at a frat party, because at a frat party there is only young people. And women (and men) don’t go to a frat party if they are looker for older people…because they aren’t there. So that is a pointless example (in my opinion). Now, being a SD on SA, I would assume that most, if not all of the SDs are people not only of wealth, but in general would have some status/power whether it is in their industry, community, etc. since most successful people have this. Therefore, along with an allowance, I think I offer that status and power that does attract women, along with decent looks (I’m no Brad Pitt…but he’s a short ass anyway…I’d never want to be that short). So maybe I’m an anomaly, or maybe I’m fooled easily, but I wouldn’t be in the sugar world if I didn’t think they wanted to have sex with me. If I didn’t feel like there was that connection, then why bother? Why not just have an escort, get the sex, and have a good time with friends who I have a connection with and don’t have to give an allowance? That is where I don’t understand your logic on being in the sugar world if you truly believe your statements.

  462. gtt_envy says:

    @Zack define over the top? How much do you guys talk, txt, email whatever? What is your frequency how often do you see each other?

  463. gtt_envy says:

    @FB, those are some highly sought after qualities!!

    *Dark hair
    *Dark eyes
    *Full lips thin lips need not apply
    *Boobs I prefer B cup not a huge boob guy
    *Nice Ass and thighs a must

    Add in your garden hose quality and a non diva attitude I’m hooked. If they are 22 of course lol. 🙂

  464. Zack says:

    Wb, FBsa…chotto…

    Flyer, ty, but please consider the cases in which….

    ok, so the first few meetings have gone, umm, really well… I’m probably just going over the top. Was it gtt that said #1 reason sb’s bolt is sd’s get too attached?

    heh…maybe that’s my problem. idealism.

  465. FatBastardSA says:


    That may be true, but do you qualify as a typical hot 22 year old?

    SD’s focus too much on age. There are other qualities that are important in a SB such as breast size and the ability to suck a golf ball through a garden hose. I am always trying to grow as a person, I hope I set an example for others.

  466. KatPaw says:

    Ohh couldn’t agree more with you flyr! Lol

  467. flyr says:

    @FB “I was thinking of a system that dynamically adjusts the allowance amount depending on the intensity of the SB orgasm but I have learned that SB don’t orgasm so there is no need.”

    My rule for the relationship is that the SB should have had a minimum of one o and one O prior to the SD’s pants being removed at the first encounter. A great building is not built on a hastily or casually constructed foundation. Half hour invested at the inception brings huge rewards.

  468. FatBastardSA says:

    What we need is a sensor that detects when a guy ejaculates, then sends a message to paypal to deposit money into the SB’s account.

    It is not foolproof (for guys like me who can get excited very easily by a naked woman who is not running away from me), but it can reduce the risk of paying a SB before you are satisfied.

    I was thinking of a system that dynamically adjusts the allowance amount depending on the intensity of the SB orgasm but I have learned that SB don’t orgasm so there is no need.

    I think people spend too much time worrying about getting screwed rather than getting fucked.

  469. flyr says:

    Zack just to clarify yes discuss the financial terms well before the first sex but DO NOT ADVANCE CASH until you are in the bedroom …….. there are exceptions but not for student pilots.

  470. flyr says:

    @Zack “I am distressed to find that my good pot SB candidates typically end our Arrangement by taking full payment and vanishing, without, well…often even showing up.”

    Zackster – these are not candidates but rather con artists. Don’t expect better results from the same process. …. Figure out what’s wrong.
    ……….. they never intended to have sex
    ……….. you gave them money too early
    ……….. you creeped them out between the money and the performance
    ………. something in your profile/ comm is sending a message that you are a target

    * If it is too good to be true it not going to end well

    * Cutoff any discussion of cash before you are at the threshold other than nominal travel reimbursement

    * Sent 50% of what you have lost to one of the SB contributors here and give them access to your account to review your mail both out and in……….. you need professional intervention. For an underemployed SB acting as a paid coach for student SD’s might be a great business.

    Finally don’t punish real candidates for your past mistakes. As often noted. Man is given a brain and a penis but only enough blood to run one at a time…… It was a design choice by the manufacturer to assure high rates of procreation in the face of danger.

  471. Zack says:

    @ op… perhaps a satin choker? Also, if it becomes a problem for you, I do have storage space, lol

    @NW, et al… well, think about it…out loud?… you would be in the place to know where to find hoppy, high-Alpha rarities. Utopias, 🙂 The limo idea sounds great, but I think many on this blog would actually bail in the light of that publicity. Still, most of us are just normal people…

  472. SugarySpicey says:

    Number of times I’ve had sex with a guy just because I thought he was hot = 0.

    Number of times I had sex with a successful older man because he adored me, pampered me, and made me feel like a spoiled Princess = 1+

  473. flyr says:

    Notice – when the termination is not due to SB behavior because it is part of the package. Bad behavior – bye bye

    Kissinger – I doubt he was doling out any sugar. He was brilliant, charming, gentleman who moved nations. 20 years older than Kennedy in his prime. When I ran in high donor political circles there was generally an abundance of young women hanging around with obnoxious old donors. Former DNC finance chmn used to entertain his sugar at the office (same building) early evenings on fixed day of the week. You could set your clock by her arrival.

    Phones – one of the options appears to be Burner (google Burner phone number) an Iphone and Android ap that lets you “have” a disposable number that runs on your regular phone. Stalker SD and you burn the Burner number, not your regular number. No need to be getting multiple phones. You’ll still have Eric Holder listening to your calls but the caller will never be able to get back to you. Once you are comfortable with the sb/sd you can release the burner number and give them your regular number. You pay for phone time and the length of time you hold the number .

  474. Zack says:

    I am distressed to find that my good pot SB candidates typically end our Arrangement by taking full payment and vanishing, without, well…often even showing up.

    Eh, no they’re not all scammers, and I’m not (at all, lol) bad, I do need to work on my communication and timing. Thinking about money seems to put me into an MBA or JD mode….not good. Hmm, so I put money on the table and turn my back as a test….of course that’s gonna fail at some point. Well, so that’s most of my “exits.”

    sorry for the tangent, I gotta think about this.

    Anyway, OP, one of our fine ladies forwarded your profile. Remarkably well sculpted. No, it doesn’t seem laden with “key words” but you convey a poise and general sense of enveloping awareness and support that I expect may explain many recent contacts, Lol. Nice profile, SD!

  475. onyx_percula says:

    @ Kat — I had a “pet” contact me last week on another site that “I like to be kept caged until until it’s time to use this pet”. She wanted pictures of where I would keep her caged because “Even though I like to be caged when not being used I still need to see a little sunlight from time to time”. If she had fake pictures I would have said SCAM, but they were only found on that site… I was so tempted to tell her my HOA wouldn’t allow me to keep pets that large, but I was nice. Each to their own… I wished her GL in her search.

  476. KatPaw says:

    Maybe it’s your wording… From what I understand a true dom is very focused on the pleasure of his/her slave

  477. KatPaw says:

    @onyx I really have no clue! Had to just read it again to see if I missed something. As you can tell from my profile I’m looking for a more dominant man ( at least in the bedroom) nothing in your profile call to me as you being dominant.

  478. onyx_percula says:

    @ Kat — Then way on earth do I get at least one message a week on here (and other sites too) from a subby or slave? Still don’t think the new SB would like to be collared, still picturing myself laying in a coffin with said collar stuffed up my… lol.

  479. onyx_percula says:

    @ FatBastardSA — Easy, you use your maturity, take the emotion out of it, and calmly deal with the situation. If that’s not possible at the time, you table the subject until they can cool off. I could get all pissed off and tell her to f’off, but that’s not my way. She is very dependent on the allowance to meet her monthly obligations. She has been good to me otherwise so there is no need to rip her world up over it.

    Yes my SBs are more GF than something else. If I just wanted good sex and not much more, get it once or twice a week I would be better off finding an escort to see regularly. It would be cheaper too lol.

  480. KatPaw says:

    @ Onyx thank you! Lol and no nothing that screams Freaky Dom at me

  481. onyx_percula says:

    @ Kat — You are rapidly stepping up the game in that profile! Very impressive change from when you first came to the blog. I loved this part… “You’ll need your Wheaties……. big time.” and this one too “It’s not just a dream, it’s something you deserve!”

    So now that you have seen my profile, is there anything in there that makes you think Dom/sub/M/s?

  482. FatBastardSA says:


    This notice question got me thinking. I liked the NSA approach in which case I don’t think giving notice is required.

    onyx_percula (from what I remember) prefers his SB’s to be more like GF’s or at least to have some sort of deeper connection. How do you give a SB “a months notice” in that situation. Even the Bastard in me has a hard time to figure that one out.

  483. KatPaw says:

    Onyx wow that’s stepping over a SB boundary

  484. gtt_envy says:

    @onyx, no if I’m not happy or you have royally pissed me off I definitely don’t want to be around you. I just say “Its best if we move on. Thank you for the great memories! Best of luck in all you do :)”

    There is no exit allowance etc etc.

  485. onyx_percula says:

    Bummed today… my new SB is going to Mexico for a long weekend with her family. Hurry up Tuesday!

    The old SB made fatal mistakes the last couple of days and sealed the end of our arrangement. SBs shouldn’t threaten their SD intentionally or not… She asked about SB#2 that was wanting to make up so I told her what was going on, she went a little nuts. “If you give her another chance you lose me!”. So she will getting her “months notice” later today.

    So does anyone else give their sugar notice that they want to ends an arrangement? What’s your normal practice?

    @ flyr — I hadn’t thought about it, but you are right I think Kissinger might be the king of sugar for the last 50 years, him or maybe JFK. I have heard all kinds of stories about Kissinger being VERY “active”. I would love to read an unedited biography that focused just on his sugary side.

  486. KatPaw says:

    I have revived one nasty message. It’s funny he complimented but demeaned me at same time. I just ignored the response and moved on. Miserable people try to take others down with them.

  487. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!

    Studio~ I’m fine, I was upset when it happened, yes, but it’s done… I ranted and it’s over! Feeling much better this morning!

    Have a great day sugars, I have a full day of work today 😀

  488. studio says:

    Logsdon Organic Farmhouse Ales FTW!!!!

  489. nwsugarbaby says:

    @studio-I know some good places to get our microbrew on. So many options. First is starting location 3 options the coast, the weird city of Portland, or central Oregon. Then order sample trays and find favorites. Continue until crazy stories and laughs are exchanged between us and other random folks. Then continue until kicked out for causing a ruckus then continue at a place other than brewery or bar……..

    @zack-SA pub crawl would be amazing we could rent a limo to make sure we all ended up in one piece. Now to decide what part of the US has the best microbrews for this get together.

  490. Zack says:

    NW SA Pub Crawl?

  491. studio says:


    a girl that appreciates proper microbrewed beer. Me and you are on, I’ll hop a flight and we can go driking 😉


    NO, that is not how it works (or not how I work) don’t be put off by a message like that, plenty of men on here don’t want to trade you like a commodity or a piece of meat. Any man that sends a message like that first message is a John and should be booking hookers, not looking to build an arrangement. Move on and forget about it.


    don’t let it sting you, people who behave in such a rude and unnecessary manner are not worth the crap you dragged in on the bottom of your shoe. Some people feel so shit about themselves they get off on making other people feel shit too. Just remember he has to live like that every day, while you just have to read 1 message.

  492. nwsugarbaby says:

    @Zack- His profile is a few months old. I can’t be too disappointed about it though as I am meeting a potential SD in the next week. I like to try different wines with meals, but I wouldn’t consider myself an expert. It’s all about what tastes good to you. If all else fails I will wash it down with a microbrew something like a dark ale or stout.

    @studio- there are definitely blue herons on the site to distract us from the great SDs out there. very solid advice about dont worry about it and if I hear back its a bonus

    @sugary- good point about guys sending out generic emails then seeing who they hear back from since the odds are in their favor.

    @gtt_envy-if there isn’t a connection sex isn’t going to happen. as for older guys they tend to focus more on my needs and I actually would consider one SD the best I’ve had. There are definitely some girls who dont find older guys attractive and I am not one of them. I think older guys can be incredibly handsome when they take care of their body. I think your number about 99% of women not wanting to have genuine sex with their SD is on the high side.

  493. Beach_Girl says:

    Flyr~ I won’t be worrying about him in the morning lol…
    I send notes when I like the profile. I favorite a lot more though.
    the name is familiar but i will have to look him up, a gentlemen with class is rare these days!!

  494. flyr says:

    @Beach G – Think of the bright side , tomorrow morning he’ll still be an angry asshole and you’ll be celebrating a new day.

    And no I do not think there’s anything wrong with an SB sending notes if there is a genuine interest .

    My SD idol was Henry Kissinger – He always had a classy, intelligent woman with him at social events. Their affection for him was obvious even though he was approaching grandfather age.

  495. Beach_Girl says:

    Flyr~ I only sent out a couple mails, like I said nothing major lately… people are rude, some aren’t… it takes me by surprise every time when they are like that, yes, I get a little upset lol… then I get over it, because they weren’t the right one for me! no wasted time there!!!

  496. Beach_Girl says:

    Richard~ Well, I am usually forward when I’m not interested, but he bitched about my being over the hill and having fake photos, being fat , too tall etc…
    I actually forgot that there are people like that… It’s ok… I am not that bad looking, I am not fat and yes I’m tall and yes those are me in the photos,
    It does say more about him. Maybe he had a bad day lol.. I ranted and it’s done!

  497. Flyr says:

    @Beach – Yes coffee is a great first meeting. Time can be short or as long as you want it to be.

    Mr Rude – who knows but I bet you lit up some of those who received your unsolicited notes with a big smile. Yes , I have gotten a few rude replies and I try to just celebrate my luck in precipitating their display of anger without having to make a greater investment.

    @ Richard – Your courtesy of a brief, positive note is great and thanks for the reminder.

    For meeting 2 I prefer a more casual restaurant like a thai Polynesian etc.(the old Trader Vics in Beverly Hills was awesome) . My theory is that someone who is very fussy about their food ( wanting healthy food is not fussy) and complaining to the staff is probably not going to be a lot of fun in bed. No scientific study to support it but my guess.

  498. sweetie says:

    Same here, no need to get nasty if not interested. Be civilized if decide to say no, or don’t respond at all.

  499. Richard says:

    BG – Sorry someone was rude to you…but that only says something negative about them, not you. And I’ve seen your profile, not sure what he could complain about!

    Not sure how others handle it, but if I’ve exchanged an email or two with someone and decide, for whatever reason, I’m not interested, I always send a polite and complimentary message saying that and wishing them luck on the site. I’ve never said anything rude to anyone…even the women that are using fake photos.

  500. Beach_Girl says:

    the rude guy from tonight has been blocked, but honestly I don’t think he would write back lol..His message was received Loud and Clear!!!

    • SD Guru says:

      “you can spin it however you want heart of hearts you know why MOST sbs are having sex with much older men and its not because they can’t resist them.”

      You’re still missing the point. If a SB is only interested in the allowance and chooses the highest bidder, then that’s not the type of SB I’m interested in. If she enjoys my company and appreciates the allowance I offer then we’ve got a good starting point to build a sugar relationship.

      Conversely, if you think the only thing a SD brings to the table is the allowance then perhaps you’re selling yourself short. Many SB’s in their 20’s have told me they can’t stand guys their own age (immature, possessive, etc).

      “but at Tulane when a certain football player walks in half the girls in room gawk and comment.”

      Of course they do. And if they want to bang a football player and brag about it then so be it. But is that the type of girl you want for SB? Perhaps you should focus on the other half.

      “if you want to go believe that there is a plethora of good looking soon to be successful 20 something in college looking to bang 50+ year olds…

      Yes there is, and they’re on SA!! :mrgreen:

  501. sweetie says:

    BG, I hope you blocked that dick.

  502. Beach_Girl says:

    Flyr~ some people don’t mind the travel, I know one SB that travels all over. She likes it and her SD is ok with it. But she has all the time to do so.
    People aren’t being realistic in their wants maybe? sending an email to someone 6h plane right would be crazy for me, I have a full time job!
    I think sending mass mail etc can work, it’s a numbers game for sure.

    I like the walking, museum etc date, I never thought of that! I always do coffee for first date…:D because of a previous experience!

  503. onyx_percula says:

    @ FLYR — There is a up scale restaurant here in Phoenix that I love to take SBs to. I have never been there and not see a couple that doesn’t fits the sugar dynamic. Some nights its like the whole place is having this discrete sugar gathering where no one talks to anyone else there.

    I agree with your meeting places too.

  504. Beach_Girl says:

    Sweetie~I think it comes and goes for me. I do look but not all that often, I check the mail, but I haven’t forced it. I just started to send out mails… hence the brutally rude mail of tonight… sorry, it was harsh and I’m not over it lol…
    It will happen for you, your in the US, young, beautiful etc… it takes time, you can’t make it happen over night

  505. sweetie says:

    flyr “An evening at a museum is a much more comfortable place to walk and talk, sit for a glass of wine and something to eat… Alternate venues include wine tasting, the Monterey Aquarium – any place with positive energy and the ability to talk.”

    I like your suggestions. Oh, the Monterey Aquarium… seen it on tv one time. You could make it like the movie “Closer”. Very funny date.

  506. sweetie says:

    Yep, strange indeed. I don’t know what’s up, but just nothing interesting these days. Maybe I should give it a little break. Or just stop looking and let it be, check when I get a message.

  507. FLYR says:

    @? “Do SB’s like to have sex with their SD’s. Some might, some might not. Who cares.”

    I do, I think the sb looking for a relationship with legs should feel fine with having sex or pick another partner, as the zippers unzip the responsibility then shifts to the sd (should he want to assume that role) to show the SB why she made a great decision and to create a comfortable environment that transcends the age differential.

    Random Winks and Notes – as someone else noted if the person has not looked at your profile it’s erase. I wonder why a number of SBs (and I assume SD’s) write to people who are far away with what is obviously a canned note. An annoyance at best

    One argument for sex at the first meeting – you’re attracted to each other, although you have talked several times since both are in the big city there’s a good probability that this is an interview process and that others are also being interviewed. If the SD is really interested and offers say half month allowance and you are interested and comfortable I would burn the rule book and go for it. The alternative strategy is to level with the SD, let him know you think this will be great, you are not talking to anyone else but you want to take a deep breath before jumping into the pool. The generic I want to think about it is liable to be interpreted as she wants to see if she can get a better offer.

    Somewhat related – I think where there’s a substantial age difference it better to meet somewhere other than a fancy restaurant. Generally you have no control over who will be occupying the adjacent tables. Inquiring ears are often trying to overhear your conversation. An evening at a museum is a much more comfortable place to walk and talk, sit for a glass of wine and something to eat. If the meeting is not going well you say goodbye at any point vs having to sit through a main course after determining that this is not going to work for either. Alternate venues include wine tasting, the Monterey Aquarium – any place with positive energy and the ability to talk.

  508. Beach_Girl says:

    Sweetie~ You aren’t having luck on SA?
    I’m sorry the sex was bad…I like kissing, but the one guy tht was the best in bed for me, I didn’t like his kisses… odd right?

  509. sweetie says:

    Oh, the kissing! Still perplexed how the kissing with my friend was so great and the sex did not click. Bizarre. Btw, not having any luck on SA.

  510. Beach_Girl says:

    Sweetie~ I agree, the first time I meet a SD is to see if we click… for coffee. I always wait a little maybe 3rd date or so…, I need to know that it’s right. And yes, if it doesn’t feel right, I won’t sleep with you and if it’s really not good, I won’t stay around!
    Most of my SDs have been long term and I want that again in the future, if I can’t kiss him or anything it’s not going to work!!!

  511. sweetie says:

    Yeah, I know what you mean… c’est la vie! We do what we can. Oh, I don’t sleep on the first night. No rule or anything, just prefer to make sure I like the guy.

  512. Beach_Girl says:

    Sweetie~ sounds like a great night for you! 😀

    The age thing… I know, men want what they want and pay for it… etc, etc…
    I have been told I don’t look my age, from people here (the blog) that I’ve met and people in my RL… still, annoys me!!!

  513. sweetie says:

    Saw “A Streetcar Named Desire” by the Scottish Ballet tonight. It was so beautiful. Visually impressive, cool choreography, amazing music, perfect! Highly recommend it.

    Hi, everybody! Not sure how much attention I would have paid to an older man when I was in my early 20s, probably not at all. I have gone out with men my age, pretty much. Nowadays, I’m certainly interested in seeing somebody older.

    Reading BG’s post, I’m the same way. No need for Brad Pitt, but there must be something about you that attracts me. And I will sleep with you because I want to, not because I have to. And if the sex doesn’t work out, I won’t stick around.

  514. DorkyGuy says:

    “Where’s Dorky when we need him? The sloppy generalizations taken as definitive arguments are giving me a headache.” ~Zack

    All statements are sloppy generalizations.

  515. onyx_percula says:

    @ Lexxy — A sugar relationship doesn’t have to be all that much different than any dating relationship. One or other contacts. You establish mutual interest, you move along, maybe is email/IM/Skype, txt’ing, calling and talking. Sooner or later you both have to pass the smell test* (meet face to face). Remember it VERY possible to have a great connection and even start to develop feelings for someone online, then meet them face to face and have all that die. Maybe its hot as hell and you jump in bed on the first time you meet, maybe everything is OK, but not sex worthy, or yeah its is sex worthy but after getting to know them better.

    You have to have your mind more or less made up regarding sex. Either you are going to have a great chemistry and sexual attraction and have sex with your SD, you are going to play along, smile and do it rather you really want to or not, or you just aren’t going to have sex with your SD.

    * Smell test: We are animals, we use our noses to help us choose our mates. Research has shown that women find men that are most genetically compatible with them, aka is the most different that can compliment their own genes, smell the best to them. Closely related men smell bad to them. Men too use their noses. A study was done where men were presented with a “who is sexier girl A or B” test. They had to smell the sent from two sealed containers before voting, the containers were labeled A and B. The researchers were using pieces of sweaty tee shirts from two women, one ovulating and one during her menstrual cycle. The men did not note any sent at all from the containers. The men overwhelmingly choose the woman associated with the scent from the ovulating woman. A follow up study, added a funny twist to the test… they had the men smell a sample (again odorless to the test subjects) that was vaginal fluids/scent. They then took the A or B test, after smelling the snatch they no longer showed a preference for the ovulating woman, they choose pretty much 50/50 A vs B. Things that make you go hmmm…

  516. Lexxy says:

    @Beachgirl That was the first email he sent and I blocked him. Yea I’ve posted before. I just joined the site two days ago and haven’t really been interacting with any SD’s as yet thats why I asked the question Im so thankful for this blog you guys are so helpful!!

  517. Beach_Girl says:

    Lexxi~ have you met this pot SD before or was this just an email? If it’s a first email, no that’s not how we establish a arrangement. If you have talked a bit online that is talking about what he wants and what you want… normal, you both have to know. Some like to talk about that online and get some of it out of the way
    And haven’t you been on this blog for some time, you read about other experiences right? If not, sorry I thought I saw your name before, you can always go to the top of this page, on the right hand side there are Sugar Dating Tips, that could help if someone doesn’t answer right away

  518. Lexxy says:

    @gtt It was never even a thought in my mind to consider that and I had no intentions of responding. I’m new to this it was just a question, I just wanted to know if that was how a SB SD relationship was established if thats the case then I don’t want any parts of SA

  519. Zack says:

    Oh, hey…Congrats Miley, I guess really. Ya made ’em look, lol.

  520. Richard says:

    Maxim’s top 100 list…1 Miley Cyrus (20), 2 Selena Gomez (21), 3 Rihanna (25), 4 Mila Kunis (30), 5 Jennifer Lawrence (23). Average age = 24.

    People’s last few Sexiest Man Alive (age at the time): 2006 George Clooney (45), 2007 Matt Damon (37), 2008 Hugh Jackman (40), 2009 Johnny Depp (46), 2010 Ryan Reynolds (34), 2011 Bradley Cooper (36), 2012 Channing Tatum (32). Average age = 39.

  521. gtt_envy says:

    @Lexxy if ypu are even considering that (which how could you!) Its not meet me and have sex. Its fun dates, new experiences, gifts, a kiss, that leads to something intimate not X for Y.

    I would ask for 5k with 50% upfront! Again I don’t know how you would consider that if you haven’t even met. Sounds like a John!!

  522. Beach_Girl says:

    Richard~ I agree it’s more than looks! it’s different for every women, I think being smart, funny, is hot. That is me… Yes, physically there has to be something, but it depends of the person. But I am older than most here… SBs I mean, My idea of hot may be different

    Just got a brutal mail on SA… oufff, I forgot sometimes it burns… 🙁

  523. gtt_envy says:

    @fb, true but go to a frat party and most are pretty freaking HOT! I use the site to get with women that are out of my reach too. I just don’t believe many of them would consider someone even 30 let alone 50!!

    I hear ya I’m not either!! Its all about the fun 😉

  524. Lexxy says:

    So a SD emailed he and said he would want to meet 5x a month and have sex and then he asked me what do I want my monthly allowance to be…I’m pretty new to this is how a SB SD relationship established?

  525. FatBastardSA says:


    Well I don’t live in the coed dorm like you do, so I will take your word for it. If your point is that every SB (or coed) from LSU or Tulane is a hot 22 year old then you are full of crap.

    I have used SA and the money to get SB’s beyond my reach. We all know this is one possible use of the site. You are wrong if you think 99/100 SB’s don’t want to have sex. Should be obvious since not all SB’s are hot 22 year olds, the blog being just one example.

    Not trying to be argumentative though :-).

  526. Richard says:

    Most men (and women) tend to…consciously or unconsciously…assume the opposite sex thinks like they do. That’s why men automatically assume women are attracted to the most handsome guy with the great body, and women can call a friend “hot” when she is only average looking but has an amazing personality.

    In fact, men and women are generally attracted to completely different characteristics, and even our standards of attractiveness are skewed (our standard of beauty for women is skewed towards teens, for men towards middle age). I know some very average…even unattractive men…who are incredibly successful with women. And no, it’s not the whole “bad boy” thing.

    Women, correct me if I’m wrong!

  527. gtt_envy says:

    @FB, IDK, but at Tulane when a certain football player walks in half the girls in room gawk and comment.

    Its okay man I know that I can’t score and enjoy a hot 22yr old without coming to a SD site. I’m late 30’s …….if you want to go believe that there is a plethora of good looking soon to be successful 20 something in college looking to bang 50+ year olds ….you go right ahead.

    I’m at Tulane and LSU every other week….but who knows maybe my pulse on the college market is skewed.

    It is what it is that’s why this site was created!

  528. FatBastardSA says:

    What seduces them HOT GUYS works very well!! It isn’t even seducing its “Damn he’s hot!!”

    Is that what they talk like on the coed forum?

  529. gtt_envy says:

    What seduces them HOT GUYS works very well!! It isn’t even seducing its “Damn he’s hot!!”

  530. SugarySpicey says:

    Do I like, physically and sexually, older men, yes and no. I can get hot for someone who’s maintained himself well up until he’s about 55, not to say I couldn’t get hot for a 69 year-old, but I haven’t.

    Would I stick around if there were no gift$ in it for me? If I were crazy about the guy, but in relationships, successful older men just generally don’t have the time or inclination to do the “sweet fun things” that younger guys do, so they compensate with money and status.

    Do they have saggy balls, yes and no. But, the truth is your testicles really aren’t doing it for me anyway – unless my tongue is on them (at which point my eyes are closed, that’s not your best angle) I am trying to pretend they don’t exist.

  531. ax753753 says:

    @Zack: Regarding “…what seduces THEM?”
    For me and for many, I’d say the answer is simple…Power.

  532. ax753753 says:

    @ KatPaw: Just like you said… “I was 23 when I dated a 50 year old man no sugar involved.” I did the same thing, but he was in his sixties. I really, really fell for him and all my girlfriends knew it. He had been a race car driver and actor when he was younger. But him in his sixties with his refinement and polished disposition was absolutely intoxicating. Just being with him made me feel special. And honestly, had I known him when he was younger, I strongly doubt I would have been as attracted to him.

  533. Zack says:

    …And what seduces THEM? Lol

  534. FatBastardSA says:


    I guess we will just have to agree to disagree.

    What I really want to know is what coed forums you go on? Are you pretending to be a coed, do you have a voyeur fetish for coed forums, or are you a coed in disguise?

    Other than “old saggy balls”, what do coeds talk about?

  535. Zack says:

    @ Gtt: that, I think that’s often good, but your point is valid. Careful with “norm” though, lest you imply “normative” rather than “standard, average or typical.” Or even if you want to venture into describing “normal”

    Ok, lecture mode [mute]

  536. gtt_envy says:

    Sloppy generalizations because they do represent the norm not the exception. What many describe here is the exception not the norm not even close!

  537. gtt_envy says:

    @FB depends but I doubt it. Go read any of the blogs that allow comments. Go post a random question on any coed forum you will get berated with “old saggy balls” no way!!

    This is assuming you aren’t talking George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Denzel like looks.

  538. Zack says:

    Where’s Dorky when we need him? The sloppy generalizations taken as definitive arguments are giving me a headache.

    Ax…your post fixed that 🙂

  539. gtt_envy says:

    @Ax753753, while I agree with if these women aren’t dating that age group that their SD is in do you still agree its older man wisdom and class that is luring them in?

    Also there is a big difference between a exp sb who has been in the sugarbowl for years and the typical coed that joins the site.

  540. KatPaw says:

    I was 23 when I dated a 50 year old man no sugar involved.

  541. FatBastardSA says:


    Your reasoning is based on the following:

    “A typical pretty hot 22 year old going home with a 50 something year old? Very unlikely based off looks alone.”

    In my experience the number of hot 22 year old SB’s is quite small (as is the number of very wealthy SD’s I am sure) and certainly not typical of a SA SB. Sorry you younger SB’s out there but that is the way the Bastard sees things.

    Would a typical AVERAGE looking 22 year old date a wealthy/successful (hence atypical) 50 year old? That is the question!

  542. KatPaw says:

    @ ax that was me! Knew I wasn’t the only one who felt that away!

  543. ax753753 says:

    Gentlemen, I forget which SB said it here, but I think there are a LOTmore ladies attracted to older men than you may realize. You treat us so much better, you’re wiser, better lovers and you actually show that you appreciate us by giving us what ‘we’ want.

    Honestly, the older you are ~ the younger we feel. This is a powerful aphrodisiac for many females. Especially those who may long to go back to less-stressful times.

  544. gtt_envy says:

    @sd_guru, you can spin it however you want heart of hearts you know why MOST sbs are having sex with much older men and its not because they can’t resist them.

    If you say all of your past sbs date in your age group then touche’ I will agree with you!

    Then again they have esv orts that say they love what they do, so I won’t say there aren’t super freaks out there. Maybe you just got lucky and are batting a 1000.

  545. ax753753 says:

    @ SugarySpicey: You write so well & I agree with this comment of yours…
    “I would only entertain an SD I actually wanted to have sex with. And then, I would have sex with him whenever the urge struck 1st date or not – which I would hope is frequently.”

    There must be attraction for me to sleep with a SD and there must be good sex for me to get into a relationship with them. The sooner both of these elements are determined, the better in my book.

  546. gtt_envy says:

    @fatbastard, I many definitely do and I guarantee most could easily do without the physical piece! You don’t think so? As far as chemistry that just means get along with and you aren’t a troll……which still doesn’t equate to *I would be with you without a allowance*

    Of course not ANY and especially if you add in other countries. A typical pretty hot 22 year old going home with a 50 something year old? Very unlikely based off looks alone. Add a powerful title or ridiculous good looks like Brad Pitt, Denzel, Cruise well all bets are off.

  547. FatBastardSA says:


    I would put myself into the SD by necessity category, but SB’s out there should should keep hope alive as there actually are SD’s out there who choose this lifestyle for other reasons 🙂

  548. FatBastardSA says:


    Not surprising about the orgasm statistic. People work jobs they don’t like just to put bread on the table just as they marry/date people they are not passionate about but who may have other nice qualities.

    People expect a lot these days…Bad news for me because I don’t want to offer much :-).

  549. FatBastardSA says:


    If WCSD (or any guy for that matter) wanted sex, he would pick up the phone and call an escort. No need to entice anyone.

    Your point is that a lot of SB’s claim they hate having sex with their SD. There are many SB profiles that state they are not escorts or looking for pay to play but long term arrangements, mentoring, and want chemistry. Are they lying about the chemistry part?

    “If that were the case you could just go join any date site, go to a social event, even the local happening after work place, and pick yourself up a 20′s something year old since the $$ is inconsequential and they are sleeping with you because they truly want to.”

    Not every 20 year old collage girl is good looking (by definition). If you think it is impossible for a successful 50 year old man to pick up any 20 something woman without paying her then you are wrong.

  550. Beach_Girl says:

    Richard~ lol… they didn’t call you back? what a shame, it would of been a great job opportunity lol… you made me laugh
    Unfortunately, most guys/men don’t care to take the time to please a women. just saying, from what I read/know/heard

    • SD Guru says:

      “Ask any SB you know 99 times out of 100 they would prefer not to have sex at all, but they understand that’s part of the arrangement in most cases.

      Based on my experience, the SB’s I’ve been with enjoy sex just as much as I do if not more! Perhaps it has something to do with the partner they’re with… :mrgreen:

      “You believe you are giving them a allowance because you cannot provide a normal relationship?”

      In the words of a celebrity: “I don’t pay them to fuck me, I pay them to leave”. Or say it nicely, the sugar is what keeps the relationship NSA. Some SD’s are successful because they choose to be SD’s, not because they have to. I wrote about this in my blog: “Why wealthy men choose to be SD’s“.

  551. Zack says:

    @ KP, let me know if I may lend a hand with your efforts Grin

    Re sb/escort… some ladies are definitely on a spectrum there.
    …There’s got to be some use for conversation, education…and SD’s there somewhere, LOL

  552. gtt_envy says:

    Nope that code didn’t work perfect……….geesh.

  553. KatPaw says:

    @Richard the men that take the time to pleasure a woman will always be raved about being the best of lovers. 😉

  554. gtt_envy says:

    @Bastard, easily going off his reply!

    We will see if this works I’ve want to test anyway………lol.

    there is an allowance that I give, not to entice a SB to have sex with me, but more to entice her to want to stick around when there is really no ‘future’ with me.

  555. Richard says:

    It’s 2013, much of the mystery about the elusive female orgasm has been removed through research (I volunteered to help, they never called me back!).

    I’m also hyperanalytical, so I tend to research subjects that interest me…and females interest me a LOT. About 10% of women have never achieved orgasm. About 2/3 can’t achieve orgasm through “normal” intercourse. Most women don’t achieve orgasm every time they have sex (while 90% of men achieve orgasm every time).

    These problems are easy to solve, and men that make the slightest effort will put themselves far above the average. Good place to be. 🙂

  556. KatPaw says:

    Sadly most woman are insecure in their own sexuality.. It’s one reason I love what I do. I love when a client comes back to gush to me. ( I sell high end adult toys and spa products. Do home parties ect.) it’s sad how many women don’t know the g-spot is real let alone experienced a g-spot orgasm.

  557. Beach_Girl says:

    FBSD~ I think I read that almost 65% of women have never had a real orgasm before.. pretty shocking if that is true! but they say women should stop faking it!

  558. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars~
    Sex on the first date, for me no… I haven’t ever.
    I like to know a person a little more, chemistry face to face is different than online.But there has to be something there or else I couldn’t sleep with that person. It has to click! It clicked with all my previous SDs so…

  559. FatBastardSA says:


    I have met many women who have boyfriends/husbands their own age that they don’t like to fuck but stay with them for other reasons (financial reasons would probably top the list). Let’s drop this notion that life outside of SA is one non stop orgasm between sexy people.

    I am not sure how you equate WCSD saying that the allowance is in order to compensate for a non standard relationship implies he thinks the $$ does not matter. The fact that he is giving out $$ tells me he understands it does matter.

    Do SB’s like to have sex with their SD’s. Some might, some might not. Who cares.

  560. Richard says:

    If a potential SB doesn’t kiss me often and well, then I’m not going to sleep with her! I’m sure there are some great actresses out there, but there are many subtle signs of attraction beyond the obvious. Not saying I’d detect it right away, but I’m pretty sure I’d figure it out fairly quickly.

    That said, if someone is such a good actress that she can fool me convincingly, then whether she is “faking” or not is immaterial, isn’t it? 🙂

    If Sugary feels chemistry and wants to have sex on the first date, do you really thing there is anyone who would say no? Certainly not me!

  561. FatBastardSA says:

    In my case the allowance is beneficial for me as well as the SB. I will put up with a lot more crap from a woman I am dating. With an allowance I can break things off when/if the SB pisses me off, and sleep better at night. May sound harsh, but I am a bastard.

  562. gtt_envy says:

    @onyx, I agree something more in the middle is probably more accurate!

    @Richard, I’m not saying you are and get back to me on the consummate piece and let us know how natural it feels the first time. It’s been brought out a lot by certain posters on the blog take power, $$, alpha personality, and a young SB’s immaturity or just naivete and I think many get pressured into doing too much too fast.

    @WCSD, you really believe that? You believe you are giving them a allowance because you cannot provide a normal relationship? I think your little head is blocking the obvious from your big head. If that were the case you could just go join any date site, go to a social event, even the local happening after work place, and pick yourself up a 20’s something year old since the $$ is inconsequential and they are sleeping with you because they truly want to.

    **It’s a fine line! I’ve had SB’s that it felt very natural and very legitimate/real especially my current one, but I’m still giving a allowance and that clearly reminds me of what this is. The day she says “Hey, you don’t have to give me anything I just love being with you!” Maybe then I’ll change my tune, but I’ve read enough blogs to know what brain doesn’t like to admit. Seen enough questions from newbies asking how to find a SD with no sex or saying things like “He could be my grandpa how do you do that?”, Usually coupled with enough answers saying “You just have to grin and bear it”, “Think of Ryan Reynolds or Ryan Gosling a lot lol” to know that banging a guy two to three times your age isn’t a top priority for most college girls.

    With that said I agree @WCSD that it is obvious if they are not into it which again proves the point that they really don’t want too. Probably the biggest give away is the lack of French kissing imo you can tell a lot by how someone kisses.

  563. onyx_percula says:

    @ Zack — I had the all time queen of profile checks go over mine, Exotic_SB. I have total faith in her. Not too mention I posted it a few blogs back and several here said the same 😉

  564. onyx_percula says:

    @ Kat — lol, its alright dear. We had a bit of a fiasco over the whole under 25 SB thing a while back, I am sure that tainted your impressions of me. If you go back a few blogs and find my posts you might be more surprised 😉

    @ Zack — Well I am pro choice, which extends to a woman selling herself if she chooses to. While I know the industry is abusive and many a girl gets taken advantage of, most are there of 100% their own choosing. So while I don’t think a SD site is really the right place for ads, there are tons of places just for escorts to advertise on the net, I am not upset or worried about it either, just be upfront about it so you don’t waste my time would be my only gripe.

  565. Zack says:

    heh, pot -SB’s- listing as escorts, lol

  566. KatPaw says:

    @onxy maybe coming in as a more mature SB and more confident in sexuality I know I want Chemistry!

  567. Zack says:

    I have as yet to enter an SD/SB relationship….but that won’t stop me, lol

    @op….would you like me to look at your profile? 🙂

    @SuSp …and also, you probably have your head on straighter and more valid experience than most.

    @Richard… What happened to “Everyone’s Different?” I think people like your ideas…where’s the problem?

    @Tathi… I think prostitution is more common than SD/SB. I think you and your SD are headed in that direction. I understand you want more connection. I think he should…. well… try to steer him to a first meeting at the hotel restaurant? That way you can peacefully exit or choose to continue with a minimum of trouble. That seems a reasonable courtesy. It would be tougher but also courteous to just call it off b/c it’s headed in the wrong direction, if you think so.

    @op…mailing me or replying without checking my profile is just grimly sad. What about the pot SD’s listing as escorts in their area? Not unusual here, and not surprising.

  568. WCSD says:

    @GTT – I am in Richard’s boat on this one. In my mind, being a SD, there is an allowance that I give, not to entice a SB to have sex with me, but more to entice her to want to stick around when there is really no ‘future’ with me. I can’t offer the fantasy of marriage, family, etc. (at this point). As I’ve said in the past if someone is having sex with me, but doesn’t want to, and is purely after the money, it either becomes obvious very quickly (and the relationship ends) or she is a very, very good actor. I can’t say that no one has had sex with me only for the money, because there are desperate people out there, and sometimes the little head makes the big head miss some obvious flags…but it definitely isn’t something I search for, and if it was 99 out of 100 as you state, I would have been out of this game a long time ago.

  569. onyx_percula says:

    @ Spicy and Kat — I think it goes back to my first post on this blog/topic… If the SB is treating or some how conveying that her SD is something other than just a regular man then its going to be a problem. I whole heatedly agree with you, frankly a SB could be sex incarnate if it doesn’t click, have chemistry or whatever its not going to work.

    SBs don’t want to be treated like prostitutes and SD don’t what to be treated as john’s either. So if a SB can’t find a place to be happy with sex in her sugar then its not going to last, which may ultimately be the reason for the short 3-4 month average life span.

  570. KatPaw says:

    I have yet to enter any SD/SB relation but I wouldn’t enter into one with someone I don’t want to be with.
    Sugary my views about it all are very similar to yours..
    Each situation is different and needs to be treated differently.

  571. SugarySpicey says:

    I would only entertain an SD I actually wanted to have sex with. And then, I would have sex with him whenever the urge struck 1st date or not – which I would hope is frequently. But, perhaps I like sex more than your average SB.

  572. Richard says:

    GTT – “Ask any SB you know 99 times out of 100 they would prefer not to have sex at all, but they understand that’s part of the arrangement in most cases.” If this is true, I sure hope I’m the 1 out of 100, ’cause I’m not interested in having sex with someone that doesn’t enjoy it as much as I do! What you describe sounds pretty much like prostitution to me.

    I’ve never pressured someone for sex…well, not since I was in high school…and would never expect anyone, SB or not, to have sex with me if they’d prefer not to. Am I completely delusional?

    I haven’t consummated a SD/SB relationship (yet) but in my longest and most successful relationship we had sex on the first date…and many times afterwards for the next 10 years. I don’t believe there is any correlation between when you have sex for the first time and the success of the relationship.

  573. onyx_percula says:

    @ Lexxy — I have had it both ways with varying degrees of success. On the whole though its rare when I get a message that I have a great deal of interest just as was mentioned before, each of us is looking for something specific rather we know it or not, lol.

    The one that gets me… we SD tend to be SA members with all the search functions like “Who viewed my profile”. So when I get a message from a SB and I look to see if she has viewed my profile or not, and hasn’t its almost an auto delete.

    And as a lol, the other one that gets me is even though I have nothing (confirmed by others) in my profile suggesting BDSM Dom/sub/M/s interests I keep attracting em like flies! Maybe the universe is telling me something… hmmm, the new SB in a collar… pictures self in coffin with said collar stuffed up my… LMAO.

    @ gtt_envy — Honestly I think rather an SB wants to have sex versus will have sex is a YMMV thing. Maybe something more in the middle might be a little more accurate. Some women are genuinely attracted to older men, we make them wet and happy. Others truly love sex, if you can get them off they are happy, considering most older men have had more experience this should not be a problem. Others simply are inexperienced and want to be with someone that can teach them and expose them to new things. And of course there are those that simply are providing a service in exchange…

  574. tathi says:

    Zack , I need the money more than a relationship but what didn’t like about him(PSD) was that he want just meet in a hotel every time to me thats more like prostitution than a SD relationship ..

  575. tathi says:

    gtt_envy . Yes it’s my second language..
    And I toll him that I’m wanted to meet in a public place , but he want to go to hotel so I just said I will think about it..

  576. Exotic SB says:

    *** Standing Ovation WCSD ***

  577. gtt_envy says:

    @wcsd, I think you confuse “want to” with “will” when it comes to the SB. Ask any SB you know 99 times out of 100 they would prefer not to have sex at all, but they understand that’s part of the arrangement in most cases. That is a harsh reality for most SD’s to realize! Most want to believe the SB would really be with them if there wasn’t a allowance and that is rare, but I’ll concede it does happen.

    @Lexxy, I’ve always had the best experiences when I’ve sent the message. I look for something very specific though, so that is probably why. Usually my arrangements last 10-12 months.

  578. WCSD says:

    @Lexxy – It doesn’t matter to me whether a SB contacts me first, or I contact them first. If I’m interested, I reply.

    For the subject matter – I HATE when people have a ‘rule’ of not having sex on the first (second, third, etc.) date. You and I are adults. We can make a decision based on our connection and our wants and go from there. If that means we are knocking boots on the first date, or the third date, so be it! Why would anyone have a rule that limits them on what they want to do?? Honestly, when someone tells me they have a rule (no matter what the rule is) it is a red flag for me. It shows a level of maturity that I don’t like.

    Have I had sex on the first date? Damn right! Has is lasted to a second date? Most times, but the fact that there was sex had nothing to do with why it didn’t make it to the second date. Have I waited to have sex after the first date? Absolutely. Again, it is all about connection and wants (for me anyway).

  579. Zack says:

    Tathi…do you really need the money, or just the relationship? Both?

    That’s three large options at this point….choose one.

  580. KatPaw says:

    Tathi never meet at a hotel room!! Even if married and needs to be discreet their is no reason he can’t meet you at a public place.

  581. Lexxy says:

    I have a question… How does the more successful arrangements go the SD emailing the SB first or vice versa? can you guys share with me a little about your experiences on how it went

  582. gtt_envy says:

    @tathi, I would definitely pass on that! Why limit yourself with a arrangement that seems much more like just a quickie in a hotel room? Screw that 😉 literally!

    Keep searching and find at least a amicable SD where you get wined, dined, and spoiled before the hotel rooms even come into play.

    I’m guessing english is your second language?

  583. tathi says:

    his not a verified member I
    But his pretty convince , I don’t know what to do! , has any one went truth a similar situation ? I need some advice please

  584. tathi says:

    Hi everyone , I’m new SB I have one sD before but didn’t work out Cus he wanted to meet one day after the other ,I recently got a from a PSD he give me his number so I can contact him, we talk over the phone,he ask me some questions about me and why I join the sa wedside,then he toll me about him , he offer me an allowance,he want me to meet him in a hotel ,because hi say his marry and we can’t be seen in public together !

  585. gtt_envy says:

    Fat fingered the my username now it’s awaiting moderation!!

    @New, I agree with the others!

    As far as the blog topic I have never had sex or even attempted too on the first date! Usually the 2nd date has some play time and is a overnighter and the 3rd date is when we “seal the deal”.

  586. KatPaw says:

    @New I have to agree with Sugary on this.

  587. SugarySpicey says:

    New – chances are it was a copy/paste message he send to 50 different girls in order to see their private pics. Let it go for 2 weeks, then if he’s still active on SA after that, try messaging him and act live you’ve never interacted. SA has a really high proportion of flakiness it seems, so don’t assume anything until an arrangement has been struck.

  588. Zack says:

    Or if either of you are new, try talking without Seeking, just to learn.

    It’s difficult but a good way to learn things about yourself…with regards to communication style and effectiveness, imho.

    It’s gonna hurt, somehow, though.

  589. Studio says:


    maybe his is busy, maybe you weren’t his type but he didn’t want you to feel bad, maybe he is just here to massage his ego and get messages from hot women. Who knows.

    Best thing to do is just forget about it and if he messages back, bonus.

  590. gtt_envey says:

    I agree 1st date is too soon unless you have talked for months and the chemistry is ridiculous!!! I don’t see how lustful chemistry like that ever happens with a 15-30yr age difference no matter how much a SD wishes it would. Which means the SB feels obligated and that’s never a good thing.

    2nd date is normally involves some play, but no sex.

    3rd date is usually seal the deal time!

  591. Zack says:

    Welcome…I think flirting with incredibly beautiful women is a privilege and a responsibility, lol

    How old is his profile/how long has he been seeking? Does he know his mind or is it a time to talk first, meet later? Maybe he just flaked. It happens, sadly. Not sure where communication issues are between u 2…

    I think Ghirardelli dark generally complements raspberry character of many red Zins. But I’d like to learn more, 🙂

  592. nwsugarbaby says:

    I had a potential SD reply to my email and pictures with you are incredibly beautiful and i would like to get to know you more etc. I responded and haven’t heard back in a couple days. Usually someone that interested I am able to met. Any advice on what may have happened? previous experience tells me he found someone more along the lines of what he is looking for and there is nothing wrong with that.

    @flyer- good advice about adventure and not drama. ones a headache the other can be some crazy skinny dipping in hawaii.

    @Zack- I would love to talk to you more as long as you included chocolate with the wine tasting. Seems to be you are quite the blog flirt ;). As for seeing me I can email a pic.

  593. flyr says:

    Although the thought of coming over to test the water is hopelessly attractive the other side of my brain says I know the answer :)~

  594. Beach_Girl says:

    If Flyr wants to know if I was skinny dipping he’s have to come over 😛

  595. Exotic SB says:

    @Beach – ENJOY!

    @Flyer – I know you are waiting to find out if she was skinny dipping 😉 hehe

  596. Beach_Girl says:

    ExoticSB~ I wish i had one at home, this is the only perk of house sitting 😀

  597. Beach_Girl says:

    Flyr~ it was what I needed after a crazy few weeks of work 😀

  598. Exotic SB says:

    @Beach! Now you make me want to go out back into my hottub!…It’s pretty cool here tonight too! It would help me zzzzzzzzz…….

  599. flyr says:

    Beach G that’s exactly what I did not need to know as I am finishing some work

  600. Beach_Girl says:

    Just got out of the jacuzzi, it’s so cold out, it was super nice!! i’m all relaxed now! 😀

  601. flyr says:

    @ Spicey – be addicted to adventure not drama……………….. sounds like the truth has set you free……………………..

  602. KatPaw says:

    Waiting not wait.. Lol

  603. KatPaw says:

    @onyx a Thank you and actually it’s wait approval. Lol

  604. onyx_percula says:

    @ Spicey — Congrats!

    @ Kat — The profile is looking good. You should add your avatar to your profile too.

    My SB#2 was a NCNS tonight. I doubt the drama is over, but for now I am in a good place.

    Sorry Guru, we disappointed… no need for the popcorn this time, lol.

  605. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ finally, c’est fini… good!

  606. sweetie says:

    Good riddance and to greener pastures, Azucar 😉

  607. Zack says:

    get fried?

  608. SugarySpicey says:

    It is over, Sir Richard swooped in with blazing banners – lol.

    TP found my blog through this blog. I don’t believe he visits this blog anymore, but I wouldn’t be shocked if he does.

    We are sickeningly transparent, which is where the drama stems from. But, c’est fini – or how should I say it better my French friends?

  609. Beach_Girl says:

    Sweetie~ oh ok… I didn’t know that was still going on, sorry Spicey!

  610. KatPaw says:

    Awww Sugary!! So sorry… 🙁

  611. Zack says:

    hall heretofore be…

    sorry, SuSp mk !!

  612. sweetie says:

    BG, TP is The Pirate, Sugary’s drama man.

  613. KatPaw says:

    @zack From now on

  614. Zack says:

    what is “Henceforth”, for $50.00…

  615. Beach_Girl says:

    Who is TP?

  616. KatPaw says:

    @ sugary Thank you yup that’s most my ink have a corset along my left side as well.

  617. Zack says:

    Well, I suppose that raises the question, (with apologies to Richard, et al.), does TP follow this Blog?

  618. sweetie says:

    Oh, Sugary! I’m really sorry to hear that 🙁
    I hope you get out of that mess as soon as possible. You can do it. You always have us here to vent, don’t forget that.

  619. SugarySpicey says:

    Kat – is that your ink in the Gravatar? Nice.

    Sweetie – you were right, there was drama today, painful drama – but one step closer to being out of that mess.

  620. KatPaw says:

    @Dorky lmao hey I said it made me envision not that I wanted to do it.. Takes a lot more for my panties to drop. 😉

  621. DorkyGuy says:

    “@Dorky all I can envision after your statement is a “coffee meet” then running to a hotel.. Lol” ~KatPaw

    That’s moving a little fast for me, but I suppose I could make an exception just for you ;).

  622. Zack says:

    @ KP Oh My, Sugar!? Lol

    good info here just keeps coming, thanks Stormcat.

  623. Stormcat says:

    Dinnertime on the oasis . . . Advice for SBs: don’t ever take a camel to dinner, You can’t possibly ever give it enough to drink!

  624. KatPaw says:

    @Dorky all I can envision after your statement is a “coffee meet” then running to a hotel.. Lol

  625. onyx_percula says:

    @ studio — Hmmm on this side of the Atlantic we call those boobs.

  626. Stormcat says:

    Exotic ~ I vaguely remember the handle Taz.
    Well, yes . . . I’d like to look at you profile but I’m really not available for an arrangement. Anyway all you have to do is paste the irl of your profile into the comment box labeled website and I can just click on your name for that post.

  627. KatPaw says:

    Hmmm all very good info.

  628. Exotic SB says:

    @Stormcat – I believe I vaguely remember you from the last time I was on SA & The Blog as well….back then I went by Taz. I was trying to remember that for the life of me lol! Not sure how seeing your name reminded me – but it did! TY! 🙂 And if you find my profile you will find the rest of the pic to go with the avatar btw 😉

  629. Beach_Girl says:

    Storm~ you know me, I LOVE shoes 😀

  630. Stormcat says:

    Hey BG ~ doing well babe! I see you haven’t lost your passion for all things shoe!

    Exotic ~ that’s quite the avatar you’ve got there 😉

  631. Beach_Girl says:

    I posted on the other blog but made a mistake in my email lol… so I’ve been moderated lol

  632. Beach_Girl says:

    I just answered everyone on the other blog lol…. well, I will repost here!

    Zack if you want to send your email to someone, you can mail me at MissMontreal1 at g mail

    Richard~ No, they can’t close, I haven’t gotten the first pair yet… i wish I could get a pair before, if the close!!! I love them, a lot of their looks do look better than Louboutin.

    ExoticSB~ It would be awesome to go to FL, but i could do Toronto 😀

    Sweetie~ Hi

    Stormcat~ how are you?

  633. Beach_Girl says:

    Stormcat!!! Hey, how are you ?

  634. Beach_Girl says:

    I just answered everyone on the other blog lol…. well, I will repost here!

    Zack if you want to send your email to someone, you can mail me at MissMontreal1 at g mail

    Richard~ No, they can’t close, I haven’t gotten the first pair yet… i wish I could get a pair before, if the close!!! I love them, a lot of their looks do look better than Louboutin.

    ExoticSB~ It would be awesome to go to FL, but i could do Toronto 😀

    Sweetie~ Hi

  635. studio says:

    as for going out on date no2 after sex on the 1st.

    All depends on how good the sex was.

  636. studio says:


    I dunno, I love having a womans limits rubbed in my face,

  637. Zack says:

    Perhaps I’m just a wolf or being immature, but I like “lust at first sight.” Even if it doesn’t lead to sex on a first date, I want to be interested enough in an SB that I’m going to want to put that on the table.

    Ok, I guess it IS immature 🙂

  638. Exotic SB says:

    Good afternoon – Dorky, Onyx and Stormcat! I concur with all three of you!

  639. Stormcat says:

    Haven’t posted for a long long time. Don’t know why I’m inspired by this topic. I have had SB’s both ways as well as some that I never slept with. But it’s true that for the ones with whom I went long term it didn’t make any difference whether we slept together right away or not. The relationship was about connection and chemistry not mechanistic sex. And for those when the arrangement ended the friendship continued. We still write and sometimes we even still meet just for old times sake. 🙂

  640. onyx_percula says:

    Timing has less to do with it than everything around, leading up and supporting it. There have been times I met someone new and was excited “at first sight”, aroused that first touch, and horny as hell at first kiss. There have been times I seen someone 5+ times before I was anywhere near really wanting an intimate encounter.

    I agree with the topic, don’t give it up for free. The old saying the sugar flows when the panties hit the floor goes both ways. Take your time, if your pot SD is pushing and pushing for sex right off, chances are pretty good its not going to work long term.

    SD’s remember that while you are building up to it, meeting face to face, dinner, movies, etc, pay her way, maybe give a gift or two as well.

    Something to be careful of SBs… while we all have our boundaries and limits be careful of how you treat your SD when it comes to sex. I had one SB that this eventually resulted in our separation… I was one step up from a escorts trick, and one step below a BF or someone she would have met normally. I was reminded of this fact all too often, and it finally just pissed me off so bad I ended it. It’s fine to have your boundaries/limits just don’t rub it in his face all the time. Making your “man” feel less than any other man is a sure road to ruin.

  641. DorkyGuy says:

    So it’s ok to give it up on the first meeting, as long as it’s not a date?

  642. JennSA says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog…