6 years ago
The Truth About Sugar


There is something to be said about perspective. Sometimes, even if faced with hard facts, nothing would ever be enough to sway one’s deeply ingrained opinions. But if I’ve learned anything from spending time getting to know you all around the sugar bowl, it would be that perception is everything, and not one size fits all.

Take our last blog topic for example: no sex on a first date. Some Sugar Babies agreed with this rule, while others disregarded the notion of “rules” of any kind. Some Sugar Daddies agreed that sex on a first date is not necessary, or even desired while others justified a first-night romp. But the beauty of sugar is that every body is right.  Everybody is entitled to their own perspective, and the only way to get it wrong, is to align yourself with someone who doesn’t share the same perspective.

To some people, sugar will never be an acceptable lifestyle. What would the point be anyways if sugar was for everyone? Just like a bi-partisan government will always struggle to find middle ground, sugar will just never be anything but a form of prostitution to some people. That’s one perspective. In the brilliant words of  the always wise SD GURU (and also Charlie Sheen) “I don’t pay them to fuck me, I pay them to leave”. Now doesn’t that change your perception of sugar, even a little?

What is your perspective on the great sugar debate? 

What common misconception about sugar, bothers you the most? 

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365 Responses to “The Truth About Sugar”

  1. Tommy says:

    I opened an account yesterday and paid for a 6 month premium membership . I got an email a few hours later saying that my account was suspended . I didn’t even contact a single person or do anything . I contacted customer support . No refund . No reply . What’s the deal ?

  2. littleonyx says:

    I have to say that even though I’m quite the newbie, I’ve been looking into it and talking to a few people. I’ve been doing some reading, and checking profiles extensively. This may have already been covered, but hey…reminders don’t hurt, right?

    A major misconception, in my opinion, is that we (the SBs) just sit and wait for things to fall into our laps. We don’t work, and just expect obscene amounts of money to be tossed at us based on looks and sex appeal. When, in reality, that’s not it at all. There are working SBs–full time employees–that want/need the extras. There are your average, everyday SBs that aren’t trophies, that want the extras. There are under-appreciated SBs that can give it as good as they get it–and better–but just want…you got it: the extras.

    By “extras” I mean the extra funds, the extra attention, the extra companionship (if applicable), the feeling of being extra special…whatever it is that those “extras” entail.

    But maybe that’s just my $0.02.

    The other misconception (to me) is that all SBs are stick-thin, modelesque creatures that are the very epitome of a fantasy. So many of the profiles that I see make requests about race, size, height requirements (Dude…c’mon…I’m 4’10.5″ but my driver’s license says 4’11”. Seriously?), skin tone…the list goes on and on. I understand the concept of preferences, but there’s a lot of imperfections on the SD side, too. Oddly enough, I see those as the ones making most of the demands. Eh, to each his own, I suppose. But putting so many limitations on the SBs could possibly cause one to miss out on an awesome SB, no?

    Another $0.02.

    Damn it, I only have a quarter. May I have my change, please?

  3. Neph says:

    I don’t like charlie sheen, and to call me a whore, or whatever would be calling any wife, queen or girlfriend one too. A Good Sb does business not men like Sheen.

  4. Zack says:

    I forget that some of the best flirting is on this blog, especially after hours, lol. But I’m only 3 or 4 months into having decided to divorce. We’re separated btw. But, live and learn, I hope. Besides, that’s my drama and not what I want to offer or dwell on.

    In any case, I’m seeking, not dating, and the blog tends to self select more “real” people. 🙂 imho

    Laura, masks and double meanings do help express sincere feelings without worrying quite as much. Now, a cigarette and nice last meal, and I’d be set.

    Hi, SugarySpicey 😛

  5. SugarD says:

    Misconception of Sugar?

    To have a misconception you need to at least have a general agreed concensus as to what Sugar is. Since there are such a broad notion of what Sugar arrangement is, well are there any misconceptions?

  6. Languedoc says:

    Hi evryone, I’m new to this – had a couple experiences with SDs from another site and thought Id try this one. And evryone on here seems so sure and experienced about it all! I’m 25, and live in Stockholm, although I lived in France for two years. The men I met wanted to having sex straight away, which I didn’t want, but they said that’s what they were paying for. Are the men better on this site? Or how do I make it more clear in the first place,?

  7. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ 2 years… ouch… thanks!!! lol

    Laura~ I’m sure there was a double meaning there 😛 lol.. I just affogato and instantly wanted one… I don’t have ice cream… but I’m making espresso as we speak… ummm type lol

  8. Laura says:

    “Couple of prime affogato serving locations identified serving a variety of affogati. But today is not the day for it”

    I guess I just thought this had to be code for something, that you were actually talking about dessert never even dawned on me!! How silly do I feel?

  9. SugarySpicey says:

    Beach – I’m of two minds. You could definitely drop two years from your profile and it might help with people who filter by age, but then you could end up getting messaged by guys who have an age bias and you’ll just end up wasting time.

  10. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ I should with mine, maybe be younger? do I look younger? I’m told I do… but ?!?!?

  11. SugarySpicey says:

    Rarrrr! We haven’t had a good blog fight in ages!

    Treasured, welcome back! I need an adventure. Maybe an SD wants to try to take on more than he can handle and fly us both somewhere fantastic. 😉

  12. SugarySpicey says:

    Beach – I did experiment the last go round, haven’t this time, but I should. It’s entertaining to get the emails from creepers and perves, and there’s always a few diamonds in that rough.

  13. Beach_Girl says:

    Laura~ Also, sometimes, we keep our convo going for a while, you have to read up a little to be in the loop, or else you get lost!!! you will get use to it 😀 promise

    Everyone flirts here, sometimes there are fights… drama… all part of the fun at times 😀

  14. Beach_Girl says:

    Studio~ Love languages, wish I could speak all of them, so yes, go on with the 101 grammar 😀 And Yes, Affogato are amazing! yumm…

    Laura~ what part are you missing? lol Affogato? it’s a coffee based drink or desert . A scoop of vanilla gelato or ice cream topped or drowned with a shot of hot espresso. Some people add a shot of Amaretto … yummy!

    Spicey~ Experiments with the profile?

  15. sweetie says:

    Laura, you meant the what’s worse: no sex or meh sex?

  16. SugarySpicey says:

    Laura – we’re all just flirting and talking nonsense, you’ll figure out the side chat soon enough.

  17. Laura says:

    If you don’t mind my asking, that is.

    And, again, a million “thank you”s for all the warm welcomes and the wonderful assistance I’ve been offered here!

  18. Laura says:

    Yeah, I know I’m a newbie, but I’m missing half of the conversation here, what are you guys talking about?!

  19. sweetie says:

    @Guru “What’s worse, no food or meh food?” Food is a necessity, sex not so much. You can survive without the latter; well, I can. Not a big fan of meh food, either.

  20. Studio says:

    As Affogato actually means drowning I am starting to suspect Dark Horse is using code for some serious kink here.

  21. Studio says:

    Get the bikini pics out Sugary and we can discuss anything you like.

  22. Flyer says:

    Re. Grainy pix. Bad idea. There’s some evidence that a faceless cleavage shot can work magic. One of the early bloggers had an over the shoulder bikini photo with just shoulder to toes no face

    If the face shows be smiling. Happy

    Repeating earlier note. The photo shows more area when clicked on so look at both versions. Every word and photo should have a mission.

  23. SugarySpicey says:

    Just got a call for a second interview for a job that sounds like so much fun I’d almost be willing to pay them. Maybe I should call MILK to take me shopping for a knock ’em dead ensemble?

  24. SugarySpicey says:

    Oh Studio! Can we discuss the proper pronoun antecedent of affogato next? I might come!

  25. studio says:

    @ Beach Girl

    because the subject of the sentence is the word affogati itself, rather than the actual affogati we use the singular as Affogati is just one word. If we were talking about a menu with a choice bof affogati we would use the plural.

    How to sound like an exciting SD 101 by Studio — talk about grammatical structures of sentences. Bound to grt the girls wet that one……….. :/

  26. DarkHorseSD says:

    I’m not saying nothing.

    But with only six degrees of separation it can’t be long until both you and Mary are dating Brett Favre.

  27. Beach_Girl says:

    DarkHorseSD~ you’re saying everyone should put their age younger? I am not good at guessing someone age… At ALL… always gets me in trouble 😀 lol

    I don’t know if I want to put my age younger at all

    Laura~ Glad you got your profile all done, it is quality over quantity that is better, I didn’t look at your profile, but I know what you mean by obsessing. I wanted to redo mine… just can’t Once you have it all done, show us 😀 And Welcome to the blog!

  28. SugarySpicey says:

    Re: pics – last time up I had a selfie of me in a red bikini, no face, just body. SoftiBastard is particularly fond of that photos, as were the men on SA – over 300 messages in a few weeks, from good guys and creeps. This time, it’s a full body shot, from a distance, but kind of grainy to preserve anonymity. That pic ain’t doing nothing for me.

    Lesson: show some skin.

  29. Laura says:

    You guys are the best, so helpful! The first week I was on I got tons of messages, but they were almost exclusively the inappropriate and unpromising type. Now I’m getting lots of views (half of them from you guys!) but almost no messages. Pictures should help with that? The consensus is quantity vs. quality, am I right?

    Studio, I cut the negative way down, but is the one line still too much? I could figure out a way to work that into the rest and word it more positively

    I’m such a perfectionist, I’m obsessing over this way to much!

  30. DarkHorseSD says:

    Everyone on the Internet looks at least 8-10 years younger than their age. So no choice but to lie.

    It’s like the browser packs on 10 years.

  31. Beach_Girl says:

    DarkHorseSD ~ lol… yeah, one profile had an some Football star lol… Do they not think that you will have to meet eventually? I don’t get it, the same with the age, mine is my real age… why lie, they will find out eventually

  32. DarkHorseSD says:

    “Really nice pictures tend to make me think they are fakes of someone else”

    But there is the chance the person behind the profile has the phone number of the person in the pictures.

  33. DarkHorseSD says:

    Couple of prime affogato serving locations identified serving a variety of affogati. But today is not the day for it.

  34. onyx_percula says:

    @ Laura — Really nice pictures tend to make me think they are fakes of someone else. I have seen some really great selfy shots. IMO a decent picture is better than no picture which is better than a professional photo shot picture.

  35. Beach_Girl says:

    Richard & Studio.. wouldn’t it both… depending on the phrase? My Italian isn’t that good!!! Sorry
    NCGent~ a little over a week left house sitting…then it’s back not having a jacuzzi 🙁
    Treasured~ you have me curious about the the proposal guy 🙂 as for the adventure, i’m sure you will have a blast, you might get a few SBs or SDs to go with you!!! 😉

  36. Studio says:

    @ Laura

    that sounds much more inviting and more friendly. I can only speak for myself but I much prefer a profile that says what they do like, not what they don’t like. I would really try and say always try and stay positive. People want fun and enjoyment and lists of what you don’t like or isn’t acceptable just make it sound like you aren’t going to be fun.

  37. Studio says:

    @ Ricardo

    no perché stiamo discutendo 1 parola così singolare è corretta

  38. Richard says:

    Sugary – I’m not quite that flexible. 🙂

  39. SugarySpicey says:

    Richard – sounds kinda sexy when you type that way, can you whisper that in my ear?

  40. Laura says:

    Thanks Guru. I have clear, full face pictures but they’re private. I know I need a full body too, but it’s hard to take one yourself that isn’t 1) a tacky in the mirror Facebook kind of picture or 2) taken at such an extreme angle that it’s irrelevant to even post because the perspective is so out if whack. What’s worse, not enough pictures, or poor-ish quality ones?

  41. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Sounds like one fantastic adventure Treasured. Hope you get it organised.

    Richard you sound a very busy bee.

  42. Richard says:

    non “sono affagati?” forse la parola è un soggetto singolare?

    Crazy weekend, need to take a few minutes and read the blog…

  43. Treasured says:

    Beach, Lady – Hello girls 😀

    Can’t comment about the marriage proposal on here, but the guy knows ALL about me, and I did get to know him through a most peculiar meeting 😀

    As to adventure, I am craving 4S: SUN, SEA, SEX and SANGRIA 😀 (Can be substituted by any other SPIRITS 😀 )
    And, as for SEX, I could even survive with my vib 😀

    • SD Guru says:


      In addition to working on your profile text, don’t forget to put some effort into your pics too. Consider what a pot SD sees when he pulls up a search: a list of profile summaries lead by your profile pic, headline, and demographic info. Assuming your demographic info matches his search, then the only thing he’ll pay attention to is your pic and headline in deciding whether to even click on your profile to read the text. I’d suggest that you have at least one clear face pic (blur your eyes if necessary) and one clear body pic in your profile. You can put more in the private section if you want. In addition, your location is not a major market so keep that in mind and be patient during the process. Good luck!

      “What’s worse, no sex or meh sex? Sometimes I wonder…”

      It depends on how important sex is to you. What’s worse, no food or meh food?

      “I moved her into my house the same day we met and moved her into her own apartment a few weeks later.”

      You’re the classic white knight! I’m surprised that your “White Knight Syndrome” hasn’t gotten you in trouble before. Maybe it’s time to fess up? 😉

      “I would like to hear input from others do most of you really do more of pay for play time of arrangement?”

      Don’t confuse p4p with an arrangement that includes intimacy. Why should a SB accept an allowance if she’s “not sure” whether she’s ready for intimacy yet? And what if she later decides that intimacy is off the table, should she return the allowance?

  44. Beach_Girl says:

    Studio~ Ho Capito!

    NCGent~ 😀

  45. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Hi NC Gent

    How are you?

  46. studio says:

    @ Beach Girl– è affogati

  47. Laura says:

    Thanks again to everyone who offered advice last night. I made some changes to my profile, but I’m still working on it. The poor site admins, I must have made 100 edits to my profile in the couple of weeks I’ve been here! I’m thinking of replacing my entire “what I’m looking for” section with the following: (profile 1800585)

    “Looking for: a true sugar relationship, one long term arrangement that benefits us both.

    Not looking for: pay for play, a boyfriend, or a future husband

    I’m flexible to your needs and schedule, and I love to please, so tell me what the perfect arrangement is for you; we’ll find common ground and go from there. We should have an emotional connection, that spark that we all live for, and highly respect the other and their needs. If you want a good morning text each day, I can do that. If you only have time to text/talk once or twice a week, I can do that, too. ”

    I’d move “no smokers” to my personal description. Anything I’m missing/need to take out/reword?

    Sorry for hijacking the comments everyone, if I’m being obnoxious tell me to shut up and I will, I promise!

  48. NC Gent says:

    Hi all — very interesting conversation I missed. Good to see some old and familiar faces.

    Nico — so good to see you again, and welcome back to the sugar world! I lost all the contacts on my phone grrrrr text me if you still have my number.

    hey Beach — wish I could explore that hot tub with you 🙂

  49. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars

    Treasured~ it’s been a while, marriage proposal? wow… details 😀 blog adventure??? like?

    I love affogato’s (or is it affogatoes?) but then again anything with espresso, amaretto sounds good to me 😀 hummm…
    I hear Cuban coffee is awesome, i’m a huge coffee lover yes! 😀

  50. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Hi Treasured.

    Long time no see. I am glad you are busy and having fun. Hopefully the studies will settle down a bit.

    Not seen much of the old crowd around recently but I had a break too.

  51. Treasured says:

    Hey all 😀 Haven’t been on for a while.

    Daddy constantly declares he loves me.

    Got a marriage proposal. NOT from Daddy.

    Studies are super tough.

    And my head is spinning around!

    Am feeling like taking a break from it all 😀 Anyone from the blog up for an adventure? 😀

  52. studio says:

    sex without emotion is an empty experience yes. But ad empty experiences go its one of the best.

  53. onyx_percula says:

    Count me in the passing on the ONS too. While I was in a rock band (lights and sound) in my 20’s and had more than my far share of “fans”, now it does absolutely nothing for me.

  54. DarkHorseSD says:

    Back from the 3 hr affogato event. Definitely would be a great way to melt the ice cream with an SB in any decent venue. This one was for those inclined toward the elegant.

    Noah Emerich who starred as an FBI agent in The Americans was spotted three tables down.

    SB and I agree strongly with Spicey on the extent of the arm candy – no sex market.

    Agree with Jersey about the futility of it all, plus resistance is futile, so just go find someone to have a really great arrangement with.

    The next affogato stop will be announced tomorrow or Tuesday.

  55. Beach_Girl says:

    I agree, i just couldn’t relax… I need a little more 😛

  56. SugarySpicey says:

    I’m with Beach, not my thing – I just wouldn’t be able to relax and enjoy myself.

  57. Beach_Girl says:

    I wouldn’t do a one night stand… I never have actually…

  58. SugarySpicey says:

    No, Jersey, I wouldn’t. My arrangements have always been with men who are very attached to me, they call/text most days, and we have a genuine friendship. Even my subby, when I pull him off the shelf and reactivated him, I talk to most days. He would be thrilled if I’d really date him.

  59. Jersey Darling says:

    You don’t consider sex in an arrangement casual?

  60. SugarySpicey says:

    Jersey – I’m very weird about casual sex, that’s the one thing I won’t do, unfortunately.

  61. Jersey Darling says:

    It meh is what you’re looking for, why not pick up a cutie locally at a bar?

  62. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ lol…

  63. SugarySpicey says:

    Right now, even meh sex is a fantasy!

  64. Beach_Girl says:

    onyx~ lol… We are not all like Spicey and that’s good, we are all different and like different things, to each their own!!!

  65. Jersey Darling says:

    @Onyx: “Speaking as someone with a strong sex drive… Meh sex is better than nothing. At least there is something to work on, try to improve, some kind of release albeit meh in nature. It also helps provide that stark difference for the next great one”

    I don’t really agree with that. As someone who also has said high sex drive, I’d far prefer basking in the glow of previous sexual encounters and relive the fantasy while my mind drives that fantasized encounter to conclusion and my body climaxes in alignment rather than waste time on something so subpar that it won’t even suit as memory bank material in the future.

  66. ax753753 says:

    Meh sex is better. I may not get off, but the intimacy will still charge my batteries.

  67. Jersey Darling says:

    So much to catch up on, but this:

    “SA – Seeking Affogato”

    Made me burst out laughing.

    You all know that we discuss ad nauseam how best to achieve an arrangement, and the discussion is pointless without defining what an arrangement is. And defining an arrangement in generic terms is pointless because it’s the variables between two people that determine what their definition of an arrangement will be.

    Now, I need to go back and read Onyx’s novel.

  68. DarkHorseSD says:

    Note: good first meet spot…Knave, Le Parker Meridien

    Just don’t come too hungry, food limited to cheese and hummus. And good desserts.

    And be sure to look up at the ceiling.

    Personal note: I find I’m more a gato man than an affo man.

  69. onyx_percula says:

    @ Beach_Girl — Now this isn’t Spicey’s blog, I keep it PG13’ish here 😉 Not to mention its not a fantasy once you have done it, lol.

    @ sweetie — Speaking as someone with a strong sex drive… Meh sex is better than nothing. At least there is something to work on, try to improve, some kind of release albeit meh in nature. It also helps provide that stark difference for the next great one 😉

  70. Exotic SB says:

    @Sweetie ~ meh sex is worse imo.

  71. sweetie says:

    Opinions everybody. What’s worse, no sex or meh sex? Sometimes I wonder…

  72. ax753753 says:

    @sweetie: Sweetie, regarding your feedback below, you are right. Thanks for opining. I knew it was a grumpy response when I wrote. No sex=grumpy girl

    [email protected] “It seems you’ll need it.” That’s rubbing it in, not necessary at all.”

  73. Exotic SB says:

    @Onyx – hot fantasy 😉

    …..Ok catching up now!

  74. Beach_Girl says:

    Onyx~ wow?!?!??! ok… we all have different fantasies 😀

  75. onyx_percula says:

    @ flyr — I have a fantasy where someone like my new SB simply never ends the arrangement. We could reduce the allowance to a little spoiling and pampering, buy/build a house together with a his and her’s master suites. It would be a running joke that if she didn’t perform up to standards I would take away her allowance… Maybe start taking new SBs as a couple…

  76. studio says:

    yeah. I should only speak for myself and not others. Apologies

  77. flyr says:

    My best arrangements have been where there was much more than just a physical relationship and sugar.

  78. flyr says:

    @onyx – great story and I think more common

    @ ?? “At the end of the day men looking to make an arrangement are doing it because they want no strings sex with the understanding that it will never be anything else”

    I really disagree with the

  79. onyx_percula says:

    @ gtt_envy et al — “I would like to hear input from others do most of you really do more of pay for play time of arrangement? Seems awfully transactional to me!”

    The saying we see time and again on the blog… “The sugar flows when the panties hit the floor” is very good in this situation.

    From the SD perspective we need to protect our resources from abuse. From the SB perspective you too need to protect our assets from abuse and misuse.

    Laura remember sugar is what you and your SD decide it is between you two. Sex does tend to be a part of the arrangement as a general rule. How that is actually handled is another matter all together! It’s really between you and your SD on what both of you are comfortable with and can be happy with. I have talked with pot SBs that wanted EVERYTHING spelled out and kept to strictly, and I have arrangements where both of us understand and desire a physical relationship and know that if that part of our relationship were to stop, our arrangement wouldn’t survive long because its something we both want from the arrangement.

    Every real SD has some idea that they are willing to risk $X while entering into a new arrangement. $X ~= some amount, typically equal to one months allowance for most. For the strict “no intimacy no allowance” SDs they are risking that first allowance that they will never see that lady again and will have just paid for a over priced escort session. The take your time, expend in the “get to know you” phase SDs are risking what can easily add up to a months allowance+ that things will work out and intimacy will come about.

    Personally I have tried both these plus the “try it and see what happens” route too. My first SB, my longest and best sugar relationship; When I met her she was absolutely desperate and was in the process of decided if she was going to start stripping (if only she could dance, lol) and/or becoming an escort, or just maybe find someone in the sugar world. Because of her desperate situation financially we didn’t have time to talk or “get to know each other” before the sugar needed to flow. She was staying in a motel 6 broke and nothing left to sell except herself, no job and at the height of the last crash.

    She was fully expecting “do anything” on our first meeting and was looking at it as something a little better than escorting as she wouldn’t need to sleep with 50+ guys a month to make it, just one, me. I must admit it was very hard to tell her “no” being the hot little 19 year old she was/is, but “no” it was. We spent a LOT of time together over the next 3-4 weeks, mostly getting her shit under control and getting her life back on track. I told her that first face to face that I wanted something a kin to a part-time GF, and that I don’t need an escort. I told her that intimacy would have to be a part of our arrangement but until she stopped considering sugar just a shade of escorting I wouldn’t be with her. She accepted it but felt guilty because she was “nothing but one big problem!” and I wasn’t getting anything positive in return, lol yeah she was right but… I want willing eager engaged partners not begrudgingly willing to “take it so I can survive” partners! I moved her into my house the same day we met and moved her into her own apartment a few weeks later. She came to me in the night and sneaked into my bed about two weeks into staying with me and I accepted her then. We were together for almost 3 years, she was my best friend and incredible lover! I miss the hell out of her, but I am happy for her too, she got officially engaged to a great guy last weekend, still has her great job. I expect my wedding invite in a few weeks. 🙂

    These days my personal approach is “take it person by person”. My new SB is financially comfortable on her own, she doesn’t have to have an allowance, an allowance only allows her to accelerate her life plans. We communicated like teenagers that just discovered they liked each other, we “dated” a few times. I picked up the check, she tipped. She txt’ed me after our 4th date and told me it was “time”. She jumped my bones that night and I gave her half a months allowance before hand. We have seen each other several times since, and are doing it like teenagers. So I guess that is the best of both ways 😉

    There needs to be a difference when the pot SB is not local. I will spend more time and get more detailed in communicating with a remote pot SB before I go to she her. You don’t have the luxury to “take you time and get to know someone” with this unless both parties are willing to deal with long(er) time lines. So while it might take me a month to get to that “ready to seal the arrangement or not” seeing each other 4+ times face to face. My work/life doesn’t allow for me to fly to some pot SB every week, once a month and depending that’s pushing it. So as Spicey says “a woman knows quickly if she will or won’t”. This is something I talk to any remote pot SB about before booking travel.

  80. Studio says:

    I like a bit of arm candy for business / corporate events but it is after the event I am actually interested in.

  81. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!

    So much to catch up on…

  82. SugarySpicey says:

    Horse – I have a GayD that has me accompany him to events on occassion and there is no sex. He is the only SD of his type I’ve heard of. With the majority of SBs willing to accept that sex is part of the equation, why would an SD pursue an arm candy only model? That said, my Subby SD doesn’t get to have sex with me, but the arrangement is very sexual – there are plenty of SDs of his type on SA.

  83. DarkHorseSD says:

    Arrangements are so flexible. There are some for everyone. But for some there are few.

    What is the arm candy market like? Is it 90% urban legend? Has anyone here explored that genre? How big is it on SA?

  84. Studio says:

    @GTT — Spa day good effort. Been trying to think of a gift to get a girl I like and that is perfect, there is a lovely country house hotel really close to where she lives.

    Cheers homeboy.


    At the end of the day men looking to make an arrangement are doing it because they want no strings sex with the understanding that it will never be anything else. Of course there has to be chemistry and mutual affection but it is still critical to the deal.

  85. DarkHorseSD says:

    SA – Seeking Affogato

    Le Parker Meridien

    Film at 11

  86. flyr says:

    I think we’re closer than it sounds by no sugar until intimacy what I was really trying to say is no substantial sugar until there a conditional agreement on intimacy.

  87. flyr says:

    @GTT -“I would like to hear input from others do most of you really do more of pay for play time of arrangement? Seems awfully transactional to me!”

    I think we are talking essentially about the same thing……. There’s nice dining and perhaps some gifts over the course of a few meetings. If we agree that this is something that we want to pursue with intimacy as part of it the allowance starts. I don’t see it much different that a woman wanting to know that you are on a course headed for marriage before moving in with you.

    Once there’s a hopefully enthusiastic agreement the sugar flows and the fun begins. I like to keep the sugar out of the intimate times by taking care of it outside the meetings. It just happens and on time.

    Done with sensitivity and good taste it’s not transactional……… Think of it as a joint picnic – one brings the food and the other the wine…..

  88. SugarySpicey says:

    Laura – Arrangement = Sex. Call it whatever you want, but why would a man give you gift$ without gifts in return? That said, there’s also an emotional component, which is where it differs from escorting. You can try to hold out for an arrangement where his generosity begins before yours, but I will be shocked if you can find one, and you’ll probably be scraping the bottom of the sugar barrel if you do . GTT’s analysis is pretty spot on.

  89. Laura says:

    @flyr, really? I’ve never done that ever!! NO SUGAR UNTIL INTIMACY? That won’t feel transactional at all.

    Envy, thank you so much for saying that! I was awfully distressed by that comment; if that’s the deal then sex IS a condition if the arrangement and that’s exactly what I want to avoid. If I only get gifts/allowance after sex then I AM an escort and not a SB.

    Please, all you SDs out there, tell me you don’t all feel this way!

  90. gtt_envy says:

    @flyr, really? I’ve never done that ever!! NO SUGAR UNTIL INTIMACY? That won’t feel transactional at all.

    For me at has to feel natural it’s not here is X now you give me Y that’s 1 step above being with a escort!

    Date #1- Dinner, drink, something fun, a gift, card with a small monetary token.

    Lots of chit/chat and txt later if things are going well there will be spa days for her, surprise gift, and some play money.

    Date #2- Similar to the first based around a fun event or social event and I would expect some intimacy at this time and a partial allowance is given.

    Lots of chit/chat and txt later if things are going well there will be surprise chocolates for her, gift cards, and some more play money.

    Date #3- I do expect intimacy and this starts a full allowance with all the trimmings.

    I would like to hear input from others do most of you really do more of pay for play time of arrangement? Seems awfully transactional to me!

  91. Studio says:

    3 photos, 1 decent length phonecall and 4 whatsapp chats.

    I know if I want to screw your brains out already.

  92. flyr says:

    @Laura -” I am only interested in being a SB to a SD who I would be excited to be intimate with, I just don’t want to rush into anything”

    That’s the message that needs to be communicated as long as you understand there’s no sugar until ………………….. but then it will be sweet for both and he’ll need his Wheaties”.

  93. onyx_percula says:

    @ Laura — My comments about “being treat as less” was not aimed at you. I did not get that impression from you here or in your profile. I am glad you see it the same way though 😉

  94. Laura says:

    Wow, I’m gonna have to come back another time and address everyone individually. Thanks for all the advice and opinions. I’ll have to do a lot more work on my profile.

    I do feel like I have to address one thing quickly because I feel like some people have gotten the wrong idea, but that’s great because it just means I need to work on my expression before I dive into anything and that’s important. I am only interested in being a SB to a SD who I would be excited to be intimate with, I just don’t want to rush into anything. And that is how I would treat a potential BF as well, so I see it not as treating a SD as “less than” a BF but actually equal to.

  95. SugarySpicey says:

    Onyx – agreed! I don’t get it. If you’re not ready/willing/interested in a REAL no limits sexual relationship with this man wait for an SD that you are. Why put up barriers like that? Great sex needs release – not just orgasmic release, but a release of inhibitions. If you’re thinking about “I love oral sex, but not with this man” you’re inhibited, and he’ll feel it, and you’ll feel cheap for having sex with someone you clearly don’t want to REALLY be having sex with.

    Sweetie – I am blunt. But sugar dating is not for everyone. Strong sexual inhibitions (including prudishness) just aren’t sexy. That doesn’t mean you have to hop in the sack instantly, but why do some SBs need to be so closed-minded about the option. If an SB is really wanting the sex to develop organically, then her vagina should be the decider in that instance not the calendar. My advice,

    “SD, I’m really excited to get to know you better. I think we’ll really enjoy each other. One thing I want you to know: I don’t fake passion. I’m really excited to take the next step with you (sexually) but I want to feel that passionate spark before we do. Hopefully that will be soon, but I think it’s only fair for you to know, you’ll still have to seduce first. But, it’ll be worth it because I’m much more fun when I’m passionate and excited about getting dirty with someone. ;)”

    Don’t turn it into a buzzkill, keep it light, flirty, and sexy.

  96. flyr says:

    @spicey ” If you’re not comfortable engaging in a sexual relationship with this person at the end of your first meeting, you’re probably not cut out to sugar baby. T”

    I think you were trying to say that person’s sugar baby …. One of the kindest things either of the two parties can do at the end of the first meeting is to say this was fun but I do not see us as having an enduring sugar relationship.

    It works both ways.

  97. onyx_percula says:

    @ Spicey — IME you are right but are leaving out the rest of the story. A woman will know very quickly if its a yes or a no. If its a “no” that is almost never going to change, but if its a “yes” that can change fairly easily as the two get to know each other better.

  98. onyx_percula says:

    @ flyr — I was having the followup sex talk in email with a pot SB a while back… “What are your special needs and expectations, limits?”… She proceeded to tell me about all the things that she liked, but that she would not be doing with a SD because that was reserved for a real relationship… ejection seat activated!

    I dont know about others but I hate being with someone that treats me like something less than any other man she might meet and sleep with. So ladies if you have boundaries like “I love X but will never do X with a SD”, just STFU about it and keep it to yourself. If your SD wants to do X, just say no and don’t go on and explain how you consider your SD one step above a hookers “john” and one step below anyone else you might sleep with. No one wants to be considered less than anyone else, much less have it thrown in your face.

  99. sweetie says:

    Oh, Sugary! You’re so blunt! I wouldn’t necessarily say the first 4 mins, but sometimes even when you want to get in on right from the moment you see the other, it doesn’t work. What’s the reason there? I don’t mind taking my sweet time, make sure I don’t have doubts about the guy, that I really think this could realistically work.

  100. SugarySpicey says:

    All this “sex develops organically” thing is silly. As women, we know within the first 4 minutes if we’re willing to have sex with a man, or not. What needs to develop? If you’re not comfortable engaging in a sexual relationship with this person at the end of your first meeting, you’re probably not cut out to sugar baby. That doesn’t mean you MUST put out, or even that you should. But, you know if the tingle is there or not. If you need weeks to get comfortable with someone first, you’re going to have other sugar stumbles along the way.

  101. sweetie says:

    Laura, I don’t know what makes a good profile in the end. What would you like to attract? Keep in mind that everybody is different, so some might want you some might not, and that’s fine. You can’t appeal to every SD on the site. Well, I wouldn’t want to, anyway.

    I haven’t gotten any private parts photos yet and I’ve been on the site for a few months. My pictures are not provocative, just ordinary, random daily snaps. Perhaps my location is a deterrent to getting nasty emails, I don’t know. So far, the inquiries I have gotten have been decent, nothing outrageous. I don’t mention anything about intimacy in my profile because that’s a given in my book if both parties are interested. Also, I am still looking and who knows if my search will be successful eventually. I’m in no hurry, though.

  102. flyr says:

    @studio thanks

  103. flyr says:

    @onyx – I think your last paragraph nailed it ……

  104. studio says:

    Flyr said pretty much everything I wanted to bur more eloquently and detailed than I had the energy to write. Thanks Flyr I owe you one

  105. flyr says:

    @ Laura

    Just to be clear – I do not have a problem deferring the sex limits discussion for a a number of meetings so long as there is not a expectation of an allowance. I think the best relationships take a few meetings for people to become comfortable.

    The other side is that I think there’s virtually 100% agreement that there’s no sex before there’s an agreement AND performance on the allowance.

  106. onyx_percula says:

    @ Laura — I agree with sweetie. As has been mentioned before a points that myself and many seem to agree with… don’t put the same things everyone else does. A perfect example is “Looking for a good time!”, well who is looking for a bad time, lol. Another point that has been posted before is tell your pot SD what it would be like to be with you. Let him know how that might be flexible according to his needs.

    Example; “I am flexible, I like to find out what you need and help you fulfill that. So if you need a secrete discrete friend to let you know she thinks about you you will have a nice text from me each day letting you know I am thinking about you. I won’t blowup your phone or email, I am drama free and here to be that special escape just for you.”

    Do what sweetie said about your qualifiers and move them to the very bottom. While they are very important to you, as a SD I don’t want all that negative “in my face”, I don’t need a big flashing sign, and footnote is plenty.

    If you have specific ideas on an arrangement like frequency compensation etc list it. So for example if you only want to meet twice a month and have a monthly allowance say so, if you are more flexible say so, if you will not do “pay for play” say so.

    As was talked about recently regarding profiles… Men are visual, you have to catch our eye to compete. You are a woman, what do men look at when they first see a woman? The men that are attracted to you say you have a great X. Get a picture of that and put it up. From a SD point of view the things I like to see… Your smile, your eyes, something that shows your hair (I love long hair), something showing me your shape, e.g. showing you from the side/rear from your feet to your shoulders, this will let see long hair, legs, butt, belly waste and chest, pretty everything a man’s instinct looks at when considering a partner. Crop your pictures so that its all about you and not what else is in the picture, I hate those shots of a girl in the distance on a beautiful beach where you can barely tell what color her hair is she is so small, lol.

    I think my new SB handled the subject of intimacy the best I have had to date… When asked about her expectations about a physical relationship her response was something like… “I expect us to be like part-time BF and GF, we will be friends, build a connection, we will be there for each other as much as we want. We will have a healthy adult relationship and things will happen naturally. I want a friend, confidant and lover. I don’t want either of us to be uncomfortable and I won’t both of us to truly desire to be with each other.”. I have seen some profiles that stated something similar and really do like to see that. So many of these new girls coming here are expecting a sex free arrangement with a monthly allowance, I even see a few asking $10K-$20K LMAO! I don’t know any men that want to give a young girl $20K a month to be his friend. There is no need to be crass or crude about it, saying something along the lines of wanting a healthy adult relationship that naturally develops in a positive way where both people are happy and comfortable will do the job for any pot SD that has half a brain and is of a quality above sudo escort fishing “john” in the sugar bowl.

  107. flyr says:

    What do you text somebody who fails to show

    Nothing unless they respond at some later date.

    Acceptable message from her – ” can I make it up to you, I’ll meet you at your door dressed in my trench coat and a smile……”

    There’s no good excuse for bad manners………….
    Never reward bad behavior

  108. sweetie says:

    Laura, I found your approach to intimacy perfect. We have discussed this on the blog before and some SDs participating in the talks have stated pretty much what you have said. If that is how you see it happening, than that’s how you should describe it to your potential SD. It makes sense to me, that’s what I would want in an arrangement. No pressure, it will happen unconditionally if there is attraction and desire to be with the other person.

    Reading through SA SD profiles, what bothers me the most is the fact that some feel entitled to get in your pants because they’re paying you. That’s the wrong way to go about it. Don’t use your money/power as leverage to get sex, it’s pathetic, nor should any SD assume that having money is the only requirement for an arrangement and the rest is all on the SB. This sums it up: I got the money, what will you do for it? Very likely move on to the next guy who’s not a douche about his resources.

  109. GenuineSD says:

    @ Laura
    I think the wording on your intimacy response is well thought and well worded. If that’s your true feeling, that’s a good way to position it.

    I think it may drastically reduce interest, but it’s well said.

  110. flyr says:


    Contrarian View

    Your self description is pretty bland,

    What you want

    Leading with two paragraphs of negatives is poor salesmanship. I would move the tobacco comment to the self description. Its fine to note you are allergic to tobacco, even the slightest trace and you request that anyone who uses or works in place where smoking occurs not contact you.

    The I am not a Hooker provision is fine in intent but needs to be reworded.

    I’m looking for a true SD/SB relationship; if you are expecting sex on the first meeting or simply to have sex in exchange for cash I will be a waste of your time and you will be burdened with bad Karma.

    My guess is that you are getting direct questions about sex because your profile reads fussy entitlement – rather than enthusiastic participant.

    Something like – I am looking for one special man to partner with in the creation of a long term, highly sensual relationship on multiple levels. If you are honest, single, intelligent and into sharing , I’ll rock your world.

    Either by email, phone or in person the potential SD is probably looking for some answers about SEX

    Is she looking for orgasimc sex or is this just a means to the financial end

    Is great oral sex on the table (or under)

    Are condoms required

    What are the limits of expectations – Some time ago I had a SB who was a giving and warm lover but determined not to have orgasims as they were reserved for her boyfirend. “accidents” did happen but moments later she was feeling guilty.

    Personally I think both need to understand the wants and limits at the start. The rules can be loosened as the relationshop developes . Getting clinical, if the SD has sometjhing that’s important to him you sholud know and deal with it early in the discussions. The discussion can be fun and light hearted rather than a clinical discussion.

    Hopefully the SD will give you some help in his communications – I think it helps (if true) for the SD to mention early in the discussions what he is not expecting ie not looking for anythig unusual, degrading etc, but only if true.

    Understand that there are a lot of SB profiles with lines like “I’ll try anything once and probably twice” I cringe when I see it in an 18 year old’s profile.

    Back to the basics , it’s a personal quirk but I am turned off by the line “show me a good time” vs have a good time doing exciting things or stimulate my mind and my body.

    Hope these do not sound harsh Your profile’s a B+as is and just needs some polishing

    I think the right time for the “dimensions of pleasure” discussion is during a face to face meeting.

  111. Laura says:

    Sweetie, you always give the best advice. What did you think about the other part of my original post? Is there a way I can express myself to get a better reception?

  112. sweetie says:

    [email protected] “It seems you’ll need it.” That’s rubbing it in, not necessary at all. The part before that, yes. She fucked up, but you’re still a gent about her not showing up.

  113. Laura says:

    Thanks much Sweetie, editing right now!

  114. sweetie says:

    Having to look at this Charlie Sheen picture almost makes me gag! What a bad choice for a blog photo! It’s just sloppy all over.

  115. sweetie says:

    Laura, I liked your profile very much. It’s well worded, maybe a bit too long, but it is clear about what you want and what you don’t want. You sound like a smart ass, and that’s a compliment. About being involved with somebody in a relationship, just state that without the extra details, the SD will get your point. I would eliminate the part about boners, just block them without warning. That’s no gentlemanly behavior. Regarding the smokers, just say no smokers, please. Oh, don’t say your life is pretty boring, delete that sentence!
    That’s all I have for you, dear. Good luck with everything and let us know how things go!

    Bloggers, advice for Laura’s profile?

  116. ax753753 says:

    LOL- Ohh Geeze! Good one DarkHorse

  117. ax753753 says:

    @ DarkHorseSD: If I were a SD, I’d say “I was excited to meet you. If we clicked, I would have made your life better than you could have ever wished for. Good luck. It seems you’ll need it.”

  118. DarkHorseSD says:

    Sorry. Affogatoboutit.

  119. DarkHorseSD says:

    What do you text someone 3 hrs after standing them up on an affogato first meet?

  120. Laura says:

    Off topics here, but I have a few questions I was hoping for some help with.

    – Firstly, can some of you guys check out my profile and offer advice? Tell me what works and what doesn’t. Profile 1800585. Thanks so much in advance!

    – When a pot asks about my expectations for the physical side of our arrangement is it reasonable to respond to the effect of “obviously we are interested in each other, and we’re not looking for the traditional relationship, but I would be most comfortable allowing the sexual side to develop as organically as possible, and ideally it wouldn’t be a condition of the arrangement, but instead another wonderful perk for the both of us when we get there”? Is there a way I can word this differently for better results? Since this is really the only way I would feel comfortable doing things, should I put this disclaimer on my profile?

    Again, thank to you anyone who has an opinion on either of my questions and can help me find the perfect SD!!

  121. DarkHorseSD says:

    So want an affogato first time on an affogato first meet.

    Of course for her. It’s fine if I’ve had many in my past.

  122. Jersey Darling says:

    Affogato seems like a great first meet idea.

    @Studio I’ve been fancying one ever since I heard about it!

  123. DarkHorseSD says:

    Thank you for the feedback.

    Planning a little affogato sampling this week.

  124. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Hi Kat Paw

    Good to see you.

  125. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Happy Sunday everyone!

    Hope you had a wicked weekend so far

  126. KatPaw says:

    Good Morning Sugars!
    I feel lost not following for a couple days! Hello to all the new and old I have yet to speak to!

  127. Studio says:

    oh and ouch. Bloody ouch.

    Sunday morning and me are NOT friends.

  128. Rose says:

    New here. Naples, Fl. Just looking for advice from you ladies. Naples seems to have alot if sugar daddies , and has anyone received gifts from the wish list?!

  129. studio says:

    @dark horse

    Golders Greenb–north London Jewish neighbourhood. Fairly wealthy very unexciting and dull

  130. studio says:

    @ dark horse *raises hand* I lurve an Affogato. but I am of Italian heritage

    @ lady V I am speaking purely for myself and I am a firm believer that there is nothing sexier than good prose spoken with a proper Yorkshire accent . (and don’t give me the wrong side of the pennines bit everyone knows Yorkshire meat is the tastiest 😉 ) although a Bolton accent has always sent me weak at the knees

    [email protected] D I am sure our voices would go great together. Fancy an Affogato

  131. FLYR says:

    Disappearing Diamonds

    sign of the times

  132. sweetie says:

    What happened to all the diamond sugars??? Used to be about 111 before, now down to 61?! Did the IRS make a call?

  133. onyx_percula says:

    @ JazzySB — Her profile was short, and very basic, kind of looked like something someone just hurried and put something up and would come back later to finish. Her message to me was very well written in terms on content and manner. I could tell instantly this was a very smart woman. As you are seeing many SDs are to one degree or another are sapio sexual.

    She immediately focused in on what an arrangement would actually be like day to day with me and with her. She was short, accurate, light and humorous. She showed an experienced view of her current self without worrying about giving personal information that really isn’t sensitive while still maintaining she privacy.

    One of the things that impressed me that really isn’t so much about how she communicated but the content. She told me about her professional/career life which she has managed to literally get to a position that most woman 15-20 years her senior jealous of her accomplishments. She told me about her academic accomplishments and what she was working on now. So where most people would be very happy where she is now, she is going on. I seriously expect her to end up being a very successful lawyer and judge one day.

    One of the endearing things, again harping back to sapio sexual, is that I made some references to the James Bond films and used some very common Internet acronyms which she has zero clue about. She asked what the acronyms meant and joked without faking knowledge of the movies.

    We quickly moved to talking on the phone and that was literally like being back in HS talking for hours at a time on the phone. We jumped in supporting each other through the petty dramas in our lives before ever meeting face to face. When we did meet face to face the connection we had established on the net and phone was reinforced. We both passed the smell and touch tests. A couple more meetings and we had sealed our arrangement.

  134. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!
    Tonight I am off to see my oldest girlfriend… So here’s to a night of crazy fun and with a friend I will never forget! 😀
    And yes, I’ll behave Spicey 😛 lol

  135. DarkHorseSD says:

    What sort of neighborhood is it? Reputation? If an SD were located there, would that be a good sign?

    I see Jersey’s hand is already raised. Not one who’s afraid to win.

  136. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    What do you mean Dark Horse?

  137. DarkHorseSD says:

    Not to be a pest, but anyone have the skinny on Golders Green (UK) ?

  138. Jersey Darling says:

    I’ve never had an affogato but that sounds delicious!

  139. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    🙂 Speak for yourself Studio. Not all North English accents are gruff.

    I like to think mine is sexy and clear.

    Hope you had a good day.

  140. DarkHorseSD says:

    Raise your hand if you’ve ever had an affogato.

    How about an affogato first meet?

  141. sweetie says:

    Jersey, looks like you’re putting hay on Horsey’s fire.

  142. Jersey Darling says:

    Once per day* Sigh… I sorely need an edit button.

  143. Jersey Darling says:

    @DarkHorse, the quantities I consistently look for in a partner? Usually at least once time per day 😉

    @Beach I’m sure we would get along fabulously!

    @Sweetie, Just packing and moving is likely to be what’ll happen with me too, though I do plan on visiting first. It’d be easier to do if I weren’t working, as I rarely get more than one day off at a time and about 10 hours of that would be spent traveling, but what can you do?

    @Studio, perhaps I can hear it someday. I come with my own accent as well 😛

  144. DarkHorseSD says:

    ” I’m ready for the fun and adventure that these NSA (or few strings attached) relationships seem to have.”

    Don’t just watch the ad, read the label

  145. JazzySB says:

    @onyx- smart man, you take “hints” really well! Can you enlighten me to how your new SB “won you pretty quickly” with her messages? I need to figure out how to carry my personality over to my messages. That awkwardness is what keeps me from messaging first.

    @sweetie- you should totally message him! I can only imagine what kind of response you would get.

  146. JazzySB says:

    A lot of great advice everyone, I knew that I had come to the right place.

    @Guru & Beach- you guys are totally right about his emotional neediness. He has too much intensity so early on and it could potentially get even worse. I def don’t want the drama that comes with it!

    @Richard- I am absolutely NOT falling for him. In fact I don’t even feel the connection that he insists we have. We do have chemistry, but chemistry is pretty easy to find with the opposite sex.

    @Studio- Really great stuff! If I decide to keep seeing this guy I will go with your advice. Boundaries will def need to be discussed! Your advice on the email is very valuable, I wouldn’t know how to communicate all of this on my own.

    @flyr- “It does sound like he’s not done this before…”
    That’s what I’ve been thinking, IMO two newbies probably aren’t a good match. I need a SD who knows what he’s doing.

    I’m going to think about it for a few days, but I think I at least have an idea on how to handle it now. I have a date tomorrow with POT#2, our chemistry through text and calls is amazing, we’ll see if it can translate in person. He’s more direct then #1 so I don’t think there will be any pussy footin’ around the subject of allowance. I have a feeling he will require more of my time though. POT#3 canceled our date yesterday due to “work”. He said he still wants to meet, but I’m not going to hold my breath. I’m not into endless emails so if we don’t meet soon I will politely tell him to get lost. I can’t wait for this part to be over, I really just want to find ONE good SD. I’m ready for the fun and adventure that these NSA (or few strings attached) relationships seem to have.

    Thanks so much! I will keep you all posted.

  147. sweetie says:

    hehehe! Damage his alpha male (self proclaimed) self esteem forever. That would be fun indeed. 😉

  148. onyx_percula says:

    @ sweetie — No email him and tell him you love guys like him, etc, etc, but he is just a little too fat for you and if he would considering working out and dieting so you could maybe workout an arrangement some day.

  149. sweetie says:

    Jeez, there’s a guy on SA who thought it extremely necessary to post his body fat percentage! Holy cow, what a wuss! You think he drools seeing himself in the mirror all day long?

    I should email him and say I have lower body fat % than him, hehehe! That’ll make his day for sure.

  150. GenuineSD says:

    You’ve got mail !

  151. onyx_percula says:

    @ FeeFee — Personally I don’t mind it worst case and best case love it. My new SB contacted me, and frankly its a good thing she did as I likely wouldn’t have contacted her based on her picture and profile content. But her message(s) won me pretty quickly.

    If I get a message, wink or favorite’ed by a SB that doesn’t show as having viewed my profile its an instant delete. So remember premium members can see who has viewed their profile…

    @ Guru — Keep the microwave ready, I have a feeling SB#2 is going to keep turning up like a bad penny. My drama damper is turn to high so I am trying to keep you from eating “junk” food 🙂

    I told the new SB a few ago that I deactivated my accounts. Her response was “awww that’s sweet! I know you did, but you didn’t have to”. Yeah right, I maybe a man and we all know subtle doesn’t work on us, but that was not a subtle “look”, lmao.

  152. Studio says:

    @JD, probably not the accent you expect Here in the harsh north we are gruffly spoken types, however the words that come out can still be soft and inviting.

  153. sweetie says:

    Jersey, hope this helps somehow. I moved to Florida without having visited first or knowing anybody there. I did my research online, looked at lots of city data forum posts and when I made up my mind, found an apartment, packed my luggage and moved. It was a good choice, I love the beach. I visited Chapel Hill, though when pondering between UNC and UF. Didn’t do it for me, but had some very good Singaporean food there. 🙂

  154. DarkHorseSD says:

    Ah Jersey…but what are the quantities you consistently look for in a partner?

    Where are you moving from?

  155. Beach_Girl says:

    Jersey~ Well i know Boston from visits, but I don’t live there and can’t really help, but if you move there, that is close to me 😀 we could actually meet lol…

  156. Jersey Darling says:

    @Beach – while I’m hesitant to post it here, I literally know no one in the area! Very hard trying to pick a place to live when I’ve never visited and have no one to ask about it. There’s one person I met on SA the last time I was on here so I reached out to him, and he was able to give some advice but none specific to the area.

    Posting an email is a good idea though if anyone is willing to reach out, I’d really appreciate it! darling jersey at gmail

  157. ss1959 says:

    @FeeFee – I love it when a potential SB writes to me. It’s a great start knowing there’s at least some interest on her part. Even if I read her profile and decide she’s not for me for whatever reason, I’ll write back and let her know how much I appreciate hearing from her.

  158. Beach_Girl says:

    Jersey~ where are you relocating to? if you don’t want to say on the blog, you can always mail me, miss montreal 1 at g mail 😀

  159. Jersey Darling says:

    @Spicey – Guess I’ll have to stay tuned. We expect full disclosure you know! 😛

    Guys and girls, in the past there were a few Bostonites or people from MA on the blog – Emily, our troll Beck. Is there anyone from that area on the blog now?

  160. Beach_Girl says:

    Hey Sugars! 😀

    Jazzy~ OMG, I would run… I am sorry but i had a few SD say they were “in LOVE” on the first and second date… Ah no thanks. I don’t need this drama… And how can someone be in LOVE with someone they met twice? If you like him it’s different. Talk to him, it’s always best to communicate, it’s the best way to fix your problem.
    Yes, I may crushes on people for stupid reason (they are my reasons 😀 ) and I might even tell them, but it’s a little crush… not LOVE.

    • SD Guru says:

      @OP & Spicey

      I got my popcorns ready for nothing?? Say it ain’t so!! 😥


      Based on what you described, it’s very simple. Emotionally needy + Unclear about arrangement = NEXT (unless you think he’s worth the trouble, but you should be able to do much better).

      “I say continue dating the married guy who is professing that you are “the one” only two dates in. What could possibly go wrong?

      Nothing can go wrong. He’ll propose by the third date and they’ll live happily ever after with zero drama!! :mrgreen:

  161. SugarySpicey says:

    Sorry Jersey, no, Richard and I have no stories to tell, not even any hot sexting to report.

  162. Jersey Darling says:

    Haha – whoops Sweetie, I snuck my comment in there 😛

  163. Jersey Darling says:

    @Jazzy – I say that communication is important, and if you have something on your mind you should say it rather than letting it grow into something uncomfortable.

    Bring up the topic however you feel best – email, phone, in person (I prefer phone or in person so you can better read his response). I think most of the problems that people encounter in sugar are that they overthink things. Just go for it 🙂

  164. sweetie says:

    ^ That he’s delusional and needs to return to planet earth.

  165. Jersey Darling says:

    Whew, busy day yesterday! I’m working on relocating and I’m doing a ton of research but I feel like it doesn’t really help. I’ll need to go visit the area soon.

    @Studio – Who needs a wallet when you have a British accent 😉

    @Spicey/Richard: “While I intend to explore that concept of a mouth-fucking soon, it won’t be today. – unless you’re planning a lay-over, Sir.”

    So you guys didn’t see each other last night? No crazy updates for today?

    @DarkHorse – Humor is underrated. It’s one of the only qualities I consistently look for in a partner.

  166. DorkyGuy says:

    I say continue dating the married guy who is professing that you are “the one” only two dates in. What could possibly go wrong?

  167. Richard says:

    Jazzy – You say “Last night was our second date. He told me he is falling for me and that we have something special. NO MENTION OF THE ARRANGEMENT.” This is a red flag for me, too. Unless you’ve spent hours on the phone or Skype or sent thousands of texts (or maybe even if you have), this seems too intense for the second date, especially since you said there is no intimacy. How did it feel to you?

    Are you also “falling” for him? You said you value your marriage…are you sure you want to jeopardize it by getting involved with someone that seems that desperate and needy?

    I would have discussed an allowance on the first date (as a SD) and if he hasn’t brought it up yet I’d be a bit concerned. I’d take Studio’s advice EXACTLY.

  168. DarkHorseSD says:

    Jazzy, I don’t have to write what I was going to say because Studio already did it.

  169. flyr says:

    @Jazzy – I have a little different take. You have accomplished the hard part. The “customer” has told you that he must have the red Mercedes 2 door, You simply have to get his “signature ” on the papers.

    It does sound like he’s not done this before or is having difficulty discussing the allowance. I would be tempted to bring it up in an email and to be pretty specific.

    ie I think you are darling and look forward to seeing if we can make this work. In order to move ahead we need to discuss the allowance. I would be comfortable with an allowance of $x,000 it’s less than I planned but I am attracted to you (if your profile has a range be within the range.) Let’s discuss this by email or on the phone before we meet. ………….. add nice ending

    The alternative is to ask him to come up with an allowance that is something he can commit to so that you can respond. . I think the important thing is to get the allowance on the table before he asks for a test drive. He may flee but that’s better than spending more time with someone who is pursuing a fantasy

  170. Studio says:

    Jazzy, if it were me I would be running a mile, I would be smelling trouble a mile off with this guy, he sounds emotionally unstable and needy. It also sounds like he has no experience with sugar.

    However if you are comfortable with the situation and how things are going then I would drop him an email or text before your next date and in a friendly manner tell him you feel that you both need to have a talk about boundaries and what you both want before things go any further and if it is an allowance that you are after mention to him that this needs to be a topic of conversation. Don’t make this the last part of the text / email. Write something after it that talks about how much you are looking forward to seeing him / or something flirty or cheeky.

    That way he knows where he stands but is left with a positive feeling too.

  171. Zack says:

    OP, sounds well managed under the circumstances. Not everyone will be right for you…only it seems a whole bunch…. 😛

  172. Zack says:

    Value his feelings by defining honest boundaries that show you understand him… a good one to start is, “I won’t let a guy fall for me for at least 6 months. If the sugar is fair and this works, we can talk later.”

    Set some boundaries that help you both, and you’re defining the relationship in ways good in the long run. (Be smart, simple, and try to be flexible. it’s still a negotiation…)

  173. Zack says:

    Jazzy, yes. Talk about allowance. If you want to see this guy, he wants to see you…it’s probably just getting uncomfortable.

    Ok, You’re meeting weekly? Time to set up a weekly allowance. Let it shift timewise or eventwise as you choose, but…start talking, 😛

  174. JazzySB says:

    Smh *than

  175. onyx_percula says:

    Sorry Guru, drama did not come to pass. SB#2 was a NCNS. I took the new SB to a nice private dinner instead. Was “made aware” that having an active profile was not desirable in her SD, lol. Done.

  176. JazzySB says:

    So it looks like I posted my question on last week’s blog post, meanwhile everyone has moved to this one so I will just copy, paste (correct some grammar/spelling errors) and hope for some help.

    Hello everyone. I have been following the blogs for a few weeks and I have to say they are very informative (and extremely entertaining). More so the comments then the actual posts! I need some advice please. Sorry if this gets a little long.

    I am new to the sugarbowl. I have three POTs that I am currently being pursued by. POT #1 messaged me after sending his profile to my favs list. Both our profiles have the 1K-3K budget listed. We met last week and we had pretty good chemistry. He is married which works great because I am too. He talked non-stop about longing for care, compassion, love and connection. By the end of the night he told me he was excited and he felt connected to me on a deep level. He said I was “the one” and that he thinks one day he could love me. This all seemed a little too deep for me, but I thought that I could give this sweet guy what he needs if the arrangement is good. He also mentioned that he wants his married life to stay the same, which is exactly what I want. I didn’t bring up the arrangement on the first date, I didn’t want it to feel transactional and most everything I’ve read seems to advise waiting for the second date. I did, however, ask him the frequency of visits he was wanting.

    Last night was our second date. He told me he is falling for me and that we have something special. NO MENTION OF THE ARRANGEMENT. I feel like this may be a sensitive topic for him. Is it normal for an arrangement not to have been made yet? Next week will be our third date and if he doesn’t bring it up I’m going to have to ask him. HELP! How can I ask him for an allowance without making him feel like I don’t value his feelings? I’m worried that he somehow thinks that we will be in a regular relationship (we met on SA). BTW no intimacy has occurred other than kissing. Honesty appreciated.

  177. flyr says:

    RE Weekend in Vegas – Assuming the parties want to proceed in violation of SB Protocols 1, 2 and 3 then the first question that needs to be answered is how financial risk adverse is the SB. If the SB is cash strapped then the SD should give her a plan that allows her to return home without suffering any financial loss. Is she a mother paying for a sitter (hopefully the sperm donor is watching the kids)

    If the SB is here for the adventure or more shoes it might be slightly different. She may want to stay in Vegas

    All generalizations are just that but I think SD’s fall into two categories- those who want the relationship to be mutually nurturing and those who want to maximize their “bang for the buck”. The mutually nurturing SD looks to remove anxiety and financial risk within the relationship. Some SB’s appreciate the nurturing and others see it as a sign of despicable weakness, worthy of only the stiletto heel of her new shoes.

    Back to the Vegas trip – Look at the SB and her needs , figure out a win-win plan

  178. DorkyGuy says:

    Nico, welcome back!! If you gals are planning a Vegas trip, remember that SA is headquartered in Vegas. If enough people decide to converge, maybe SA would like to facilitate somehow.

    i just got back from seeing Michael Bublé in concert… Really terrific show. Tons of obviously sugar couples there. My son-in-law told me “you can sure tell the rich guys”.

  179. Beach_Girl says:

    Nico~ I don’t know that that would happen again! But hey, we could try …

  180. Nico says:

    I’m actually headed to Vegas in February. Maybe we could do another SB/SD Vegas trip like Kitty organized way back when?!

  181. Beach_Girl says:

    Yes, it would be… I should mail him when I get home, I haven’t talked to him in a while…

  182. Nico says:

    Oh!! That would be cool if we could do a vacation with Sam!!

  183. Beach_Girl says:

    Nico~ if I can, you know i’ll be there girlie!!! wooo hooo, we would have a blast! Wonder if Sam would join us? lol, I should ask 😛

  184. Nico says:

    I hope so! I’m not traveling to Canada with work anymore. Working with a different company and going to really exotic places now…like West Texas *sigh*

    Maybe a Vegas getaway??

  185. Beach_Girl says:

    Nico~ it sucks that you live so far away 🙁 maybe soon we can have a get together 😀

  186. Nico says:

    OMG – I would totally come over too!!! I’ve been working out soooo hard lately, I’m ready for a massage and jacuzzi. I miss my house in Florida for that very reason!!!

    So how’s sugar? How’s the site been treating folks lately? I’m considering getting back out there.

  187. Beach_Girl says:

    Nico~ it’s the only great thing about this house sitting job lol.. I go every night.. 😀 sorry you aren’t closer, i would invite you

    • SD Guru says:

      “It’s a big risk from SD view.”

      Similar to what others have already said:

      1. What’s the rush?
      2. If the SD is going to Vegas anyway, there are plenty of pot SB’s there to choose from.
      3. Why take the risk on both sides when it’s not necessary.
      4. There are better ways to have a first meet.
      5. Yes they could have the time of their lives a la Spicey. But the odds are against it.

  188. Nico says:

    GOOD 🙂 Been so crazy busy I can hardly ever look up. Thought I might dance on the edge of the sugar bowl again. Thought I might check in and it was good to see you and Dorky here…Guru too…it’s nice to have familiar faces 🙂

    How are you??? Would LOVE the jacuzzi!!! *jealous*

  189. FUN SB says:

    I am in the US and going to LONDON on NOV.6TH! ANY sugar babies there who would like to meet up and explore? Drinks on me 🙂 [email protected]

  190. Beach_Girl says:

    NICO!!!!!! hey girlie!! how are you?

  191. Nico says:

    Hello Beach Girl 😉

  192. DarkHorseSD says:

    Spicey has been so right on this. Everyone was a big help. Getting to Yes on this is not as big a challenge as it first looked. Of course this SB has to get selected 😉

    Now, why is chemistry so difficult in sugar?

    – most are not solid
    – so many are illiquid.
    – lots and lots are full of hot air.

    What is your sugar state?

  193. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ you know me… full of freak lol 😀

  194. SugarySpicey says:

    Sexy Beachy and a jacuzzi – freaky Friday just got better!

    Finishing off a Whiskey at the bar before I head home. The weekend ahead promises to be boring as hell.

  195. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars 😀

    I agree with Spicey about the travel, There are also other travel tips for SBs on the top right hand side of this blog. I think it’s all about communication with your SB or SD… not by email but by phone, make sure you can actually talk to the person you will be seeing.
    As for me, I need to figure out how Google voice works 😀

    I’m house sitting tonight and my real email is down 🙁 I can’t access it so I can’t see if my pot SD mailed me or not … sad…
    I think it’s time for a nice hot jacuzzi tonight 😀 it’s freezing outside…

    how is everyone this freaky friday? 😀

  196. SugarySpicey says:

    Having worked for the airlines, so long as the ticket isn’t first class, canceling a reservation isn’t possible in most cases. Buy the ticket, don’t transfer money.

  197. DarkHorseSD says:

    I’m thinking set the return a few hours later…it takes cost of escape off SB, but puts cost of her flaking into the Vegas night on her.

    Change fee can be negotiated against allowance if that is a material issue.

  198. flyr says:

    Send her a couple of hundred and the tickets, if you stiff her on the return her charms and $200 will find her a very dangerous man who will dismember the SD . You ever notice how easy it is to get a loan or advance at a casino, they do not have a bad debt problem because their customer care department works. The customer service agents freelance

  199. onyx_percula says:

    @ DarkHorseSD — Have the pot SD wire or otherwise send her the money for the ticket and lodging. In many case if the pot SD buys her ticket he will still be able to cancel it even if it is in her name, same for the hotel. Of course this is not as easy to make happen because of the trust factor, hence why first times traveling its MUCH better for the pot SD to come to her.

    As for return time set it as if the weekend went fine, most airlines have a fairly minimal change fee, typically <$100.

  200. SugarySpicey says:

    Not Restraints Horsey, Constraints – far less sexy! 😉

  201. DarkHorseSD says:

    I’m not a party to this arrangement. I know the SB. I think in her case it could be as simple as a paid RT ticket and pre-paid hotel room. It’s a big risk from SD view.

    Should return ticket be a few hours after arrival or Sunday aft. ?

    Some early allowance is a good idea. The SD indicates half at the beginning, but not sure the terms.

    SB will not disappoint so there is no surprise.

    ‘Sex under severe constraints’ makes me want to do this myself, depending on what that means.

  202. Studio says:

    both of you flying into Vegas for a meet is an expensive experiment if you are not even sure if you have any chemistry, I guess it depends how much contact there has already been and how sure you both are about each other already. I have had first meets with girls in similarish situations but we have always talked/ skyped plenty before and been sure that we wanted to fuck each other senseless. If you are not sure then two hotel rooms need to be booked in case it doesn’t work and of course they better be good ones and you’re going to need to cover her for her stay even if you don’t get on.

    I don’t mind spending cash and I love a little risk but for me the risk /reward isn’t skewed highly enough in my favour with that one.

    Personally I would fly into Vegas alone and predatory 😉

    Of course on the plus side if you don’t get on you are in Vegas now and there is no shortage of women wanting a good time.

  203. flyr says:

    I concur with SS’s comment on advancing her enough so that she is not out of pocket if she turns around and flies home.

  204. SugarySpicey says:

    Horse – I’ve met people for the first time on a trip before (my GayD lives in San Fran and I went to Vienna). My tips to keep everyone feeling safe:

    You buy the ticket for her – she’ll have to give you her full, real name but if she doesn’t trust you with that she shouldn’t meet you. (You should reciprocate with yours first).

    Reserve a car to pick her up from the airport and take her to HER pre- paid hotel room, don’t be in said car.

    Meet at a public area (hotel bar or restaurant)

    Have a low stress activity planned – Vegas lunch buffets are great because they can last as long or as little as you want, and if you hate her at least you don’t have to make too much conversation.

    If there’s spark, take it from there, if not you each go your own way. You don’t need to discuss sex beforehand except to make sure it’s on the table if you’re both feeling it.

    The allowance question is tricky – how can you agree to an allowance before you know if you are really attracted to her, how can she? You can tell her, typically I’d gift X, but I want to make sure there’s no pressure to proceed if we’re not feeling a mutual chemistry.

    Perhaps a gift at the beginning of the weekend so she knows her expenses are covered even if you immediately go your separate ways, then gifting/shopping along the way as things progress.

    Both of you are taking a huge leap of faith – but both of my fly-in’s were great, and it’s Vegas, what could go wrong? … except that you marry a hooker and wake up toothless in the trunk of a car, no biggie .

  205. flyr says:

    RE: Vegas – Unless you have some special reason for wanting this one, a friend uses an alternative that is much less risky. Search for an SB in Vegas and adjacent. His comment is that there are many who are comfortable meeting someone who may be an occasional visitor .

    If the SB you are communicating with is someone who you see as long term then I would meet her on her ground before. Might just be a meeting for drinks or coffee but flying to a strange city and planning to spend the weekend risky for both. As to the $2,000 plus expenses, think of the long term intent and do not set a precedent you are uncomfortable continuing. You need to have an understanding about what happens if a) you or she decide that you do not like each others’ company, b) you are ok together but no sex c) sex comes but with severe constraints d) the perfect endiing, you you are unable to resist having sex under the table in the airport coffee shop

    No commitment meet for drinks and if you hit it off you do so under what ever is agreeable.

  206. Zack says:

    Advance funds for ticket or ticket booked before fronting other expense money. Then stick to expense money until after the airport. Go from there?

  207. sweetie says:

    Horsey, for SB safety reasons, flying her somewhere for the first meet-up is not advisable. I would not be willing to do that without having met you previously. If she’s ok with it, fine, but meeting strangers on unknown territory doesn’t inspire trust in my book. I’d be uneasy about it as a woman. Did you verify each other somehow, you mentioned short notice, just wondering why the rush?

  208. DarkHorseSD says:

    Weekend in Vegas

    Suppose an SD wanted an SB to meet him for a weekend in Vegas. They’ve never met and are geographically separated so they won’t meet before hand.

    There is not a lot of time to write and talk before plans are set – a few days.

    What logistics should this entail? For example he flies her in, they meet, but what is the out for either if its not a match?

    The SB is mid 30’s and not a first timer or a second timer in arrangements. Very attractive, well educated.

    Assume arrival Friday night and departure Sunday afternoon.

    Is $2000 as reasonable allowance? What are the other details that need enumeration…accommodations, free time, activities, sex as consensual only…?

    Your input appreciated.

  209. sweetie says:

    So, there’s no way out. One way or another it can be found who the owner of the account is in the end.

  210. flyr says:

    but then if you send personally identifiable information or a pic google is likely to know.

  211. flyr says:

    I think the only escape is a device (ipad) that was never associated with any of your email accounts and only uses public wireless networks .

  212. sweetie says:

    Yes, but still google asks for an alternate email (which is my real email, name etc) when you set up the fake account, so no way of getting around that. Just saying there is a trace no matter what.

  213. DorkyGuy says:

    Then you probably don’t have anything to worry about. Just concerned about those who aren’t so forward thinking, particularly young SBs.

  214. sweetie says:

    Dorky “It would likely be the photo on your Google+ account, and the name displayed would likely be your real name.”

    What if the google account is a throw away one? No real name there.

  215. DorkyGuy says:

    @sweetie, if an endorsement photo were to appear next to an ad, it probably wouldn’t be a profile photo. It would likely be the photo on your Google+ account, and the name displayed would likely be your real name.

  216. flyr says:

    Profile writing – winner for best occupation

    ” cam star and up and coming pornstar”

  217. sweetie says:

    Yes, I’d like to hear SA’s policy on that. Blog fairies, can you help clarify the use of SA pictures with Google/FB?

  218. sweetie says:

    Dorky “SeekingArrangement works the social networking angles, and ties into Google+ for social marketing. I feel that I need some clarification on what SeekingArrangement can do to make sure that our photos don’t appear next to ads endorsing their site to our real life friends and family.”

    So, should we all have our profile pics on private, for this reason? It’s annoying enough having to look at profiles with no pics, now everyone on private… what a pain that would be asking permission here and there every time one might get curious… and the be disappointed to see the actual pics. All that could have been avoided by having a pic in the first place. Efficiency!

  219. SugarySpicey says:

    Sweetie – Once I saw how dumb he looked attacking others on my blog I’m no longer sad in the least, just disgusted with myself for not seeing it sooner.

  220. Studio says:

    In fact I just viewed your profile so if you are smart you will work out who I am 😉

  221. Studio says:

    I am from North Yorkshire Lady V. Gods own county.

  222. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:


    Do tell what part of the North of England are you from. Of course it is the sunny part of the country so I cant understand why you would need a mac 🙂

  223. DarkHorseSD says:

    I just got a pop up that says I am an Optimum WiFi Expert. Still I can’t help with this flyr thing.

  224. DorkyGuy says:

    Hey Guys, you saw that Google adjusted their terms of service to allow them to place your photograph and endorsement next to their online ads when they display those ads to your friends, right?

    I wonder if it’s possible that one of our family could be happily browsing someday, see an online ad of Seeking Arrangement “endorsed by..” with my photo.

    SeekingArrangement works the social networking angles, and ties into Google+ for social marketing. I feel that I need some clarification on what SeekingArrangement can do to make sure that our photos don’t appear next to ads endorsing their site to our real life friends and family.

  225. flyr says:

    elaboration to the edge of my tech knowledge- when I am on SA I see facebook trying to run stuff which does not happen when I am on other sites ie drudge.
    I grew up with a sliderule and then went the mba route so am challenged in the area.

  226. KatPaw says:

    Hmm think I just may be speechless..

  227. DarkHorseSD says:

    Recently had a hard to find first meet with a girl who said she’s wearing a plaid dress when it was pleated.

    Then someone couldn’t find me easily because I said my shirt was green when it was blue.

    It amounts to the difference in being color blind and color blonde.

  228. sweetie says:

    Flyr, elaborate on FB and SA? I don’t know what you mean?!

  229. sweetie says:

    Guru “Now that Spicey is drama free (or so she claims, it’s hard to do on a rebound, but I digress…)”

    Yeah, my thoughts exactly. Sugary, fasten your seat belt. 😉

  230. flyr says:

    I’m seeing what appears to be facebook trying to watch what’s happening on SA when I am on the site . This whole area is well beyond my tech expertise but certainly facebook is all about monetizing every scrap of info they can get their hands on. Any thoughts

  231. flyr says:

    @spicey my apologies ……………………….

  232. DarkHorseSD says:

    If I can make one good woman laugh each day, and it can be the same woman several days in a row or even longer, I am content.

    It’s so much harder to get the really good stories with high standards, so I keep my overhead and operating costs low, and my faith in serendipity.

  233. studio says:

    I have a nice burberry duffel actually. You know how bg is about shoes. Well that’s me and coats. It comes from living im the dark damp reaches of northern England

  234. SugarySpicey says:

    What about a Burberry trench, Studio?

  235. studio says:

    oh and flyr. in no way ever would I wear a raincoat. A nice paul smith pea coat maybe but no raincoats

  236. SugarySpicey says:

    Risk, friction, drama – we all like passion in some form, we’re pleasure seeking animals, and the rise and the resolution feel good.

  237. studio says:

    yeah it was me and I love them. Nothing like a little risk to spice things up.

  238. SugarySpicey says:

    Flyr – that’s Studio, not me. I’m not big on public places, I get too loud and wiggely.

  239. flyr says:

    @Spicey – A couple entering the theater in raincoats and sitting the the last row are likely to arouse suspicion. Take bail money . ……………

  240. SugarySpicey says:

    Richard – Bali was only, pretty. The Caribbean has better beaches and Hawaii has better jungles. Don’t know that I’d go back to Bali, nice to visit once though.

    As for the rest of you, that blog post was an inside flirt between Richard and I – I said that last night as well. While I intend to explore that concept of a mouth-fucking soon, it won’t be today. 🙁 – unless you’re planning a lay-over, Sir.

  241. studio says:

    aaah come on lighten up.

  242. SugarySpicey says:

    Richard – I do soooo like consenting adults. Hope you’re passenging not flying, don’t want any injuries. The best way to get over a Pirate is to get under a Captain – though you’re a lot bigger than me, I might prefer to get over a Captain as well. 😉

    Studio – Who’s to say you aren’t a figment of my imagination as well? All very alternate reality. Welcome to your first blog indite – we all eventually accuse someone. Would you like a picture of TP and I together, at his place, or in Bali?

    And the rest – There’s nothing left for me to rebound from. Tpb just looks dumb now, like a ranting, irrational, child.

  243. Zack says:

    @ flyr : how can you let people go on about the ‘blog topic’ without letting them know you nailed it a while back? chuckle.

    @ dorky: well, live and learn. It’s fun, 🙂

    @ Richard: Ok, that’s between SuSP and her TP. Why drag us through the middle….aggressively? She has her own bathroom.

  244. Studio says:

    Not had the chance to hook up yet, my schedule is pretty nuts at the minute, going to next week. She has requested a date on the back row of the cinema and a naughty movie for our first encounter. Of course I am happy to oblige.

  245. Richard says:

    Studio – I don’t think anyone, even Sugary, is that creative, but it’s a good thought. All I can say is I’ve never been with a man and definitely wouldn’t have fallen for the bootlegger. And I’ve never been to Bali (unfortunately). Have you hooked up with your older SB yet? Older women can be hot!

  246. Studio says:

    Whats the odds SS TP and Richard are all a figment of the same imagination? 😉

  247. Richard says:

    Drama, what drama? Sounds like Sugary is getting over the bootlegger and might be using sex as part of her therapy. Normal and shouldn’t shock anyone…especially if it involves consenting adults. Both fully aware of the complications in their lives.

    I’m honored if I can help precipitate a solution. She’s sweet, tangy, and seems cool. What’s the issue? 🙂

    (Sent from somewhere high over the Midwest via satellite.)

  248. SugarySpicey says:

    Flyr – TP did it for me. When you’re in the thick of a fight it’s hard to see the forest for the trees. But, TP’s attacks on Richard, just made him look irrational, petty, and unimpressive.

    It’s easy to put drama in the past once someone no longer impresses you.

  249. flyr says:

    @ Spicey – Wow what a relief to see that you have taken drama out of your life.

  250. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Studio, Excellent news if I am coming up in that radius.


  251. Studio says:


    Just keep using 5 syllable words, the subjunctive in adverbial clauses and metaphorical synonyms. I will be fainting and splaying my wallet open before you know it.

  252. onyx_percula says:

    @ DarkHorseSD

    [BLOCKQUOTE]Think I’ll meet her again and tell her I’ll give her an allowance, but I’m not gong to give her money too.[BR][BR]

    If she agrees, I may commit to at least a year.[/BLOCKQUOTE]

    LMAO… Screening…

    @ Guru — SB#1 and SB#2 to know each other. They used to be friends until SB#2 treated me like shit, now SB#1 would love to find her in the cross hairs of a M class at 80mph. The new SB knows about SB#2, but SB#2 doesn’t know about the new SB…

    SB#1 is done at the end of December so no issues there other than tire squealing…

    The new SB has given me until the end of December to “deal with the harem”.

    Meeting SB#2 my primary goal is to sit down and talk about, actions not words, how it takes time to rebuild trust, and the first class of “making good choices” an 050 level course.

  253. Jersey Darling says:

    Good morning! What a night last night, huh guys?

    @SD Guru – Truly, the anticipation is killing me. I’m imagining an overly-fantasized blog write up replete with wikipedia images and a youtube video, perhaps followed by a post on how women should deal with large penises (considering it started with the well-endowed Pirate and now this [at 6’5 one has to assume]), followed in a month or two by TP-like depression. Blog affairs have happened before but I’ve never seen such a public one in the time I’ve been around. I feel like I walked in on my parents having sex. I had to google lolcat pictures to help me sleep last night.

    @DarkHorse – Loving your humor!

    @Studio – Why thank you 🙂 I’ve never heard the term sapio sexual until now. Keep teaching me new things and we’re sure to get along fabulously 😉

    @Dorky – Hahaha

  254. Studio says:

    @LV you come up in my 50 mile search

  255. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Hi Everyone

    Some very interesting blogs.

    Hope everyone has a wicked weekend.

    Now will all the real SD’s please show themselves particularly in Europe/UK there does seem to be a reduced number on the site at the moment. 🙂

  256. @ Dark Horse says:

    @ Dark Horse — She’s a keeper!!

  257. DorkyGuy says:

    I do hope that Spicey and the Scientist have chemistry.

    Remember, if he is not part of the solution, then he is part of the precipitate.

    tap tap tap is this thing on?

  258. nwsugarbaby says:

    @SD Guru- Definitely have heard that before about blog relationships not turning out well and have seen it unfold on the blog. I had a couple great email blog friends though. Guys on the blog give great SD advice.

  259. Studio says:

    @ Jersey Darling, I am developing a bit of a crush on you. Very amusing lady. Goddamn I am such a sapio sexual.

  260. Beach_Girl says:

    Dark Horse SD~ you will give her an allowance but not money? meaning?

    • SD Guru says:

      @Jersey Darling
      “Holy shit – do I have this right? RICHARD is The Scientist?”

      You’re onto something and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist (pun intended) to figure out who The Scientist is. Richard has gone blog silent and is not here to defend himself. So… I’ve got my popcorns ready for this one too!! I’m sure we’ll read all about it in her blog soon.

      Blog hook ups have rarely turned out well in the past (several examples come to mind but I won’t name names), but maybe this time it will be different…

  261. DarkHorseSD says:

    Think I’ll meet her again and tell her I’ll give her an allowance, but I’m not gong to give her money too.

    If she agrees, I may commit to at least a year.

  262. DarkHorseSD says:

    Had a first meet tonight with a young SB who asked me “if you are in an open relationship, why would you need to see other people?”

  263. Beach_Girl says:

    Well, I have to say I’m shocked!!!

    Good luck, with everything !!!

    • SD Guru says:

      @Sweetie et al
      “This statement is just terrible, no matter how you look at it. Please, you’re not paying anyone to leave, jeez, the euphemisms!”
      “Is this more appropriate?: “I don’t pay them to be my girlfriend, I pay them for no strings”

      Yeah, what Dorky said. Let’s consider the context… the last time I used that quote was to make a point that sugar is what keeps a relationship NSA, which is in contrast to those who view sugar as necessary for a SB to have sex with her SD.

      “OK Guru, get your popcorn ready… SB#2 is back yet again. It should be interesting…”

      I’ve been getting my popcorn ready and it’s getting cold!! Now that Spicey is drama free (or so she claims, it’s hard to do on a rebound, but I digress…), we need someone else’s drama to take her place!! So SB #2 wants you to make an honest woman out of her… does she know about SB #1?

      “last time we were together she came so hard she passed out, lol.”

      Yeah sure. Let’s have a “how hard can you make your SB cum” contest… 😛

      “That’s why I’m having drama! I have to get laid or I get bitchy.”

      Settle down… repeat after me… the Wand and the Rabbit are your friends… :mrgreen:

      Re: Misconceptions about sugar

      There are plenty of misconceptions about sugar in the media. Here are two reviews of media coverage in my blog: “Review of Huffington Post Article about SA” and “Review of ABC Nightline Coverage on SA“.

      Re: Whether sugar is prostitution

      Escorts vs SB’s is one of the most popular topics in the sugar world and it has been discussed/debated ad nauseum. Here’s an article about that in my blog.

  264. Zack says:

    I know 😛 I wasn’t sure whether I hoped you’d look it up or not, shrug 😀

    Anyway, I think we both agree that smart is sexy. That might be about it for now, but there’s always tomorrow, lol

  265. SugarySpicey says:

    Zack, if I didn’t have such a low opinion of you I’d say, well played.

  266. SugarySpicey says:

    I’m pretty scary Zack. Definitely nothing an adolescent could handle. I need to be treated with a firm hand.


  267. Zack says:

    It is hard to imagine what we could say that would scare someone who knew you well.

  268. SugarySpicey says:

    I’m just playing girls, a lady has to keep a few secrets. (Now if I could just find a lady … I know I left one somewhere).

  269. Jersey Darling says:

    Ahh it IS Richard! He’s going to land his plane in your airport!! Put his test tube in your laboratory!

    My bad for bringing this up – I just thought it was public knowledge cause it was written on your blog and I assumed I was late to the party cause I haven’t been on the blog in a while.

  270. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ you posted it on your blog? Why is it bad that we talk about it, if you posted it there? You link your blog here, everyone can read it!!! just saying

  271. SugarySpicey says:

    Shhhh! And no more talking about the mouth fucking. 🙂

  272. Beach_Girl says:

    And really that is flirting… gonna fuck you in the mouth? sorry, i don’t get it!!!

  273. Jersey Darling says:

    Wait – so the Scientist IS on the blog then? It is Richard?

  274. Beach_Girl says:

    How are WE scaring a scientist away?

  275. SugarySpicey says:

    Ladies! I’m flirting with him, in my own Spicey way. Don’t scare a poor, innocent Scientist away!

  276. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello sugars~

    Wow… First.. WOW, my mind is blown too!!! And you haven’t even met him? WTF?

    Second~ if scientists with planes are the new black, hell yeah I’d like one too 😀

    3~ Yeah, I don’t think that Richard is Richards real name, why would you post on a public blog with their real name?!?!? this is crazy !!!

    Wow, I am shocked! wow…

  277. Zack says:

    JD, Ax: 😀

  278. Zack says:

    OP…I don’t think I could choose with my head. But…pretty good chance SB#2 will be off an on for years…and I think that’s probably perfect, in the long run.

  279. onyx_percula says:

    @ sweetie — Too many, way too many (:

    @ Jersey Darling — LMAO!!!

    @ Spicey — GET SOME! You go girl!

  280. Nico says:

    Dorky? Beach Girl?? You’re here?? HELLOOOOO my long lost family!!!

  281. Jersey Darling says:

    Is Richard’s name really Richard? This isn’t a clever wordplay is it? Because if tall scientists with airplanes are really that abundant I want one.

  282. Jersey Darling says:

    So you’re dating another tall scientist with an airplane? Richard won’t be soaking his stem in your nectar? Landing his plane in your airport?

    Because I almost fainted and I didn’t even have the benefit of an orgasm first.

  283. SugarySpicey says:

    TP was such a douche to Richard!

    And tall scientists are the new black, everybody’s wearing one these days, they’re sprouting up everywhere, and No, his name is not Richard.

    Adorable as Dick is, I will not be sucking a Dick tomorrow.

  284. Jersey Darling says:

    I just finished reading your blog post fight with TP and then your most recent post. Richard said he’d take you up in a plane, and you said how is TP supposed to compare with a tall scientist with an airplane?

    Are you dating multiple guys with airplanes?

    My jaw is on the floor. I think I need to curl up in a fetal position and watch cartoons.

  285. SugarySpicey says:

    Jersey, I just actually lol’d when I read that. I didn’t say who the Scientist is.;)

  286. Jersey Darling says:

    Holy shit – do I have this right? RICHARD is The Scientist? And you wrote that he’s going to be fucking you in the mouth tomorrow?!

    Jesus. Brain overload right now.

  287. SugarySpicey says:

    Jersey, the AssPirate and I agreed up front what was fair game for my blog and what wasn’t, same with The Scientist. I thought TPs outburst was strange, but I’m not bothered that a few hundred strangers got to watch it. I got really wise and informed opinions from people because of it.

  288. Jersey Darling says:

    @Beach – Oh so The Scientist is public too? Does he know about your blog Spicey? I hope things go well – wouldn’t want round two of bad information going public if things go wrong.

    Guess I better go catch up on your blog, so much excitement!

  289. SugarySpicey says:

    That’s why I’m having drama! I have to get laid or I get bitchy. My canteen is empty!

  290. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ Well, you do what is best for you… You have many pot SDs to chose from… hope it all works out for you Sugar Girl!

    Jersey~ she describes her pot SDs on her blog… very interesting 😀

  291. Jersey Darling says:

    I’m pretty sure we won’t 😛 Night sweetie!

  292. sweetie says:

    Gotta go for the night. You people behave yourselves!

  293. sweetie says:

    Or Nemo!

  294. Jersey Darling says:

    Well I’ll have you all know I had TWO men last night and they blew my mind! Their names are Ben and Jerry and the experience was delicious.

    I still don’t know who The Scientist is, but it reminds me of the Coldplay song which happens to be one of my favorites.

  295. sweetie says:

    Damn, Sugary!!! Shopping cart? I can’t get an orgasm on my friends Harley, and that thing vibrates like a mofo!!!

  296. sweetie says:

    Jersey, you’re awesome! Hahaha!

  297. SugarySpicey says:

    The Scientist knows everything, and he isn’t really being slow. I’m just so ready to bone I might come if a shopping cart crashed into me. The Scientist thinks it’s hot, but we’re kinky like that. 😉

  298. Jersey Darling says:

    If I read the blog with an entirely uncritical eye, this is what I would think a sugar relationship is:

    Man sends woman flowers, designer dresses, designer shoes, and spa gift certificates before date.
    Woman shows up on date and is utterly infatuated with man’s good looks, killer body and amazing charm.
    Man brings woman to $1500 dinner (anything less would be gauche) and she is the perfect combination of interesting, a future president of some country, ivy league educated and model. Oh, and she’s 21.
    Man and woman have sex. He puts on the most mind-blowing sexual performance ever witnessed by mankind and woman passes out from orgasm.

    Do I have that about right?

  299. sweetie says:

    Not just bangin’.

  300. sweetie says:

    Onyx, how many sex partners has she been with? She’s almost 21. Just have to wonder here how these young ladies are having such amazing sex… I did not wrap my head around what sex actually should feel like until a bit later. I’m saying, doubt the sex can be that great when you’re so young. In my case it wasn’t at that age. I like to think being older is better as far as sex, I can appreciate it differently, it’s all sensorial and can tell the difference between meh sex and yummy sex.

  301. onyx_percula says:

    @ Jersey Darling — Yep it is. She has the crazy legs too, basically her lower body goes out of control and now it creeping up her trunk and she couldn’t breath and tensed up, bam out she goes for the count. Extreme but wonderful and beautiful too.

  302. ax753753 says:

    @ Onyx: in light of what you shared, do not go back to #2.

  303. Jersey Darling says:

    She “came so hard she passed out”? Maybe I’m just firmly grounded in reality over here, but that’s a little extreme isn’t it?

  304. onyx_percula says:

    @ sweetie — Meh it’s not so much “bad for me” and it is that in comparison between the two, the new SB is a driven over achiever that will likely have to answer questions in front of congressional confirmation hearing about being a SB at some point in her life, lol. She is 27, basically she is the total package, but I don’t love her. SB#2 is a mess from the get go, young turns 21 next month, has a shit load of brain development to go through yet, doesn’t really have any friends so speak of, has a “great love of women”… I may be a pussy man by Spicey’s definition, but I am no competition for her! She is likely the worst desision maker I have ever seen, has no idea what she wants to do with her life.

    The new SB is the perfect part time girlfriend, treats me like a king, that I have every expectation that our sugar arrangement could continue for many years “and who knows past that”, quoting her on that last part.

    SB#2 treats me like shit when we are not together. When we are together we are in our own private paradise. I am happy and completely at peace, she has expressed similar feelings. The sex is approaching the best ever level for both of us… last time we were together she came so hard she passed out, lol.

  305. Jersey Darling says:

    So I’m a little behind on the nicknames – who’s the Scientist? It’s not someone who knows about all this drama is it? Maybe that’s what’s causing him to act slow?

  306. sweetie says:

    Onyx, if you’re good together, then you’re good together. This, though, doesn’t sound good to me “the partner than is wrong for all the logical reasons that you do love?”

    I think we all have loved someone who was not good for us at one point or another… personally, I would not want to go through that again. If you feel that’s what you want, then go for it and fingers crossed! 🙂

  307. ax753753 says:

    @Onyx: Then follow your heart. (But also give SB#1 a nice exit allowance – because you’re a decent man & so she won’t write you off should you want to go back to her)

  308. onyx_percula says:

    @ ax753753 — Never married no kids.

    @ DorkyGuy — As for pot SBs nothing really, I haven’t been responding or messaging since the new SB came into my life. Haven’t had or seen anyone super compelling lately either.

  309. DorkyGuy says:

    @onyx_percula~ maybe you need a third option? Any pot SB#3 out there?

  310. ax753753 says:

    @Onyx: If you’re married go for the smart choice (#1). If you’re single, go for the heart’s choice.

  311. onyx_percula says:

    @ sweetie — Drama, fire and ice. Best ever together, worst ever apart.

  312. onyx_percula says:

    Okay peoples… with SB#2 nosing around again, I am going to be faced with a “head versus heart” choice assuming it gets that far.

    So do you choose the partner that is great for all the logical reasons, but you don’t love or do you choose the partner than is wrong for all the logical reasons that you do love?

  313. sweetie says:

    Onyx, SB2 is the one that was awesome to you or the drama one?

  314. SugarySpicey says:

    Well Beach, The Scientist has been a very persuasive element in changing my mind and helping me put that nonsense where it belongs. I really am ready for something light and fun. The Pirate no longer impresses me – on to bigger and better. If not the scientist, then someone else, but I’m feeling pretty good about The Scientist. 😉

  315. onyx_percula says:

    OK Guru, get your popcorn ready… SB#2 is back yet again. It should be interesting… I told her that its wasn’t possible to have a sugar arrangement anymore, if she wants to see me its as plain old man and woman. She liked the idea… as we didn’t start out that way. Drama, DRAMA! At least my head is screwed on good for the moment, all bets are off once I am holding her in my arms… if she shows, lol.

  316. sweetie says:

    “the road less traveled!”…such a nice book. recommend it!

  317. DorkyGuy says:

    “It’s the journey, Dorky…” ~ DarkHorseSD

    Took the journey, have the t-shirt 😛 Next time I find that fork in the woods, I’ll take the road less traveled!

  318. FeeFee says:

    Hey sugar world,

    I’m really new here, just wondering if it’s appropriate/ usual for a SB to approach a SD by email or so or should she just wait and hope for the best. I hope this isn’t a stupid question lol. I made my profile Sunday night and made a some changes through the week but the views compared to the actual contacting is a little discouraging, maybe that’s normal for online dating but I mean don’t you see the thumbnail before you click the profile anyways, ok I’m done, sorry. I was mainly just inquiring about the usual contacting protocols,

    thanks 🙂

  319. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ You have said that before, that you were done! You are still in this with the Pirate ass, and If I would be the scientist, I wouldn’t want to get involved… but that is just me. It’s asking for way more Drama.

  320. Flyer says:

    Ilwcg. You’ll be contacted to determine your skill level.

  321. DarkHorseSD says:

    For Blog Stupidity = the weather

    Everyone complains about the weather, but no one does anything about it.

    Until editorial judgement>0

  322. onyx_percula says:

    @ JennSA — No its not a “perception is everything” thing. That is a straight out and out degrading and demeaning statement, rather its intended towards sugar babies or prostitutes. They are people too and deserve at least the same common respect that you would give anyone.

  323. ILoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Thank you very much !!!! everyone for your advices.
    “Open proxy” thing ? I am very low tech, OMG.
    I should try Star bucks wi fi – good idea.

    Support wrote it was a photo problem just at the beginning, later they admitted it never was a photo problems.

    Anyway… may be I am a pro ?

    what is the annual $$$ limit to be not a pro or to be a pro ? ?? 🙂 😉


    I wrote to this e mail you provided 6 times (at least) already , what ? 6 more times to write ?
    I e mailed a Guru more than a month ago (he is not a tech support but at least he virtually knows me for 2 years and knows I am not a pro).

    Wait… may be even my skills are not good enough to be a pro that would be a prove I am not a pro.

  324. onyx_percula says:

    @ sweetie — We are in 100% agreement! That is the way I prefer it too, that is the way my new SB does it.

  325. Jersey Darling says:

    If there’s one thing I’ve learned about sugar dating, it’s that there are no rules. In reality, it’s just like any other type of dating – it can be complicated or it can be simple based on the chemistry between two people who are both into each other (for whatever reasons).

  326. Studio says:

    Don’t worry my friend I have been round the block a few times.

  327. DarkHorseSD says:

    Studio: go with a good thing while keeping your head about you.

  328. sweetie says:

    Dorky ““I don’t pay them to be my girlfriend, I pay them for no strings.” We all know there are always strings, can’t ignore that. It’s fine, I look at an SD a part-time boyfriend, to each his own, I’ll miss and think of you, be nice and respectful to you, expect the same in return. As I said, part-time boyfriend when we are together and friendly talks when apart. I don’t consider it being paid for my time or services, I genuinely like to be with you, and you should genuinely want to help financially. Nobody wants to hear their investment is not profitable, right Sugary?

  329. Studio says:

    update again on pot older SB

    Let’s just say she is definitely not one for following the advice of the last topic. Wants first date in back row of cinema as she likes public play. Says she is not really bothered about an arrangement, just wants a torrid affair based around risk. V naughty girl

    happy Studio but still keen on arrangement plan. The whole thing just kind of turns me on anyway, arrangement that is, adds an extra element of spiciness.

  330. DarkHorseSD says:

    It’s the journey, Dorky…

  331. DorkyGuy says:

    I don’t get #2… Why would you want the sugar to turn into a wife?

    If I ever decide I want a wife, I’ll just find some girl I hate, give her half my money, and skip all the ugliness in-between! 😛

  332. SugarySpicey says:

    Well Dark-if you marry a really smart sugar she’ll keep you so happy you won’t want to go out for the other . Choose wisely. 😉

  333. DarkHorseSD says:

    Isn’t it all about the challenge?

    Getting the prostitute to turn into a sugar.

    Getting the sugar to turn into a wife.

    Getting the wife to turn in early so you can go out and meet one of the other two?

  334. SugarySpicey says:

    Beach – yesterday was really good for closure. I’m finished. I’m ready to move into something nice, and calming, and sexy, and drama free.

  335. JennSA says:

    Is this more appropriate?: “I don’t pay them to be my girlfriend, I pay them for no strings”

    ^ this is basically the sentiment I took away from that particular quote. Though the quote I referenced is much more crude than that. Didn’t mean to ruffle anyone’s feathers… like I said “perception is everything”. 🙂

  336. DarkHorseSD says:

    So this is where everyone went.

    What is WRT? Thanks.

    The misconceptions that bother me most are the ones I let bother me.

    When I figure how to get them to pay me not to leave, I will have completed my training.

  337. StevenSA says:

    If you would like to provide us with your profile ID # or email associated with your account we can look into this for you. We can also be reached at [email protected]

  338. DorkyGuy says:

    DarkHorseSD posted this on the previous blog… Worth bringing forward to this one!

    Something I never said on a date before the smartphone existed:

    “Someone attacked me and my Hobbits are starving, so I really have to deal with this.”

  339. flyr says:


    I think one of the defining differences is that the sb is looking for a positive reason to be with the person while the pro is simply checking to see that there are no major negatives. It’s a whole different concept . And obviously the emotional connection and the number of partners.

  340. DorkyGuy says:

    Is this more appropriate?: “I don’t pay them to be my girlfriend, I pay them for no strings”

  341. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars 😀

    Spicey~ I think if the Scientist reads your blog, he might want to wait for you to be more ready. Everything is still fresh and well…
    The one thing you should ask is, Are YOU ready to start another arrangement?

    I have to agree with Sweetie and everyone, that quote was not right for these arrangements. It was more for prostitutes etc… just bad form to put that here…

  342. SugarySpicey says:

    Flyr – the lack of drama was a huge draw to SA for me, in addition to it feeding my kink. It’s why I ended things in my last arrangement when my lover got too attached. I’m not certain why this dramatic relationship sucked me in, I’m sure there’s a lesson in there.

    Dorky – I’d rather get under The Scientist, but he’s taking forever. :p

  343. onyx_percula says:

    @ ILoveWestCoastGirl — OklaOpera is 100% correct. As was suggested in a response to you in the last topic, use an image search engine like Google or TinEye. Your profile pictures don’t need to be explicit to be used as a booking pic, if I would say that many of the pictures I see in SB profiles are more explicit than many booking pictures I have seen.

    @ sweetie and author — I have to agree here, that quote is inappropriate for this situation. That quote is specific to the degrading idea that a prostitute is only worth being with when she is providing sex and is worthless and unwanted at any other time. [B][I]I would respectfully ask that you edit the topic post to remove this extremely degrading and demeaning quote.[/I][/B]

    My new SB’s mother is a pastor and knows that she is a sugar baby and has been for many years now. She think she is a prostitute and won’t be dissuaded from it. It hurts my lady, but she is perfectly fine with what she does.

    A couple of years ago I asked a friend who is a criminal defense attorney his opinion of rather sugar was prostitution. The example I gave him was one where a monthly allowance was paid, meeting twice a week and gave him real life examples of my activities with my SB of the time. He had several questions that all revolved around defining how much time, effort and expense was spent on sexual activity and non-sexual activity. His take was that in some places depending on how exactly the law was written yes technically it was prostitution [b][i]but…[/i][b] that considering the typical prostitution transaction involves very little time, effort or expense outside of their hour together. Contrasted with sugar where the vast majority of the time, effort and expense is spent outside of the bedroom. He felt that with a jury trail he would be able to successfully argue that sugar was no different than a husband and wife where the wife doesn’t work or significantly contribute to the financial aspect or a boy friend and girl friend where he paid the rent on their apartment and she only paid for the food. [this should not be considered legal advise, contact a local lawyer if you have questions, not a second hand account on the internet!]

    The defining point of a prostitute is how she works. She has no or very very little contract with a client until that client wants purchase her services. The client makes an appointment typically for one hour, the lady meets the client and provides adult services and they part at the end of the hour. They do not talk on the phone the next day, they don’t text each other chit chatting about what happened at work that day. They have no contact except to setup an appointment. While it is true that many prostitutes offer extended appointments that may last several hours or even days, the primary focus is always sex and those long appointments are very rare, where the classic one hour in and out is the standard.

    While there are as many flavors of sugar as their are sugar couples, very very few of these arrangements resemble how a classic prostitute works. The arrangement is not tied to “on demand by payment” and the vast majority of their time together is not spent engaged in sex. Another defining difference between sugar (in most cases) and prostitution is best expressed in this question and answer. “How do you know a escort truly likes being with you? Easy, she sleeps with you without being compensated.” As we learned from the discussion in the last topic the vast majority of the sugar babies are not forcing themselves to have sex with someone they would never have sex with without money involved, i.e. they are truly interested in a physical relationship with their sugar. This is NOT the case with a prostitute, while she may enjoy her “work” she wouldn’t ever freely have sex with the vast majority of her clients.

  344. flyr says:

    I do not know what possessed them to use the “I pay them to leave” which was first attributed to Dick Morris, Clinton’s advisor. They would compare notes while Monica was being Monica.

    RE WCG –
    Get an iPad and wireless account (or just operate out of Starbucks) for your sugar comm and then switch pot to an email account which can be on your regular computer. It is very possible that a pro would use a PG rated picture to appeal to a certain clientele

    – Drama attracts drama; however, I suspect that drama is what 95% of the SD are here to avoid. Absence of drama does not mean boring or the cold hearted attitude expressed in the intro rather it’s about two people having a fun, mutually beneficial relationship.

    Personally my standard for great sugar is that both leave their time together looking forward to the next meeting. If you want to be respected, don’t tolerate or induce disrespect. Someone mentioned earlier that most SBs would prefer not to have sex if they could avoid it and still get the sugar. I have not found that to be the rule, but rather the exception. Before Gloria Allred consensual relationships between older and younger flourished in the business, academic and governmental worlds. Yes many of them had an economic component but it was more stepping into a different world for both.

    In writing profiles I think a lot of SBs miss the idea of what the SD is trying to accomplish. Some are looking for a diversion from their marriage, but others who are not married are looking for what they had or what they missed in their younger years – fun relationships, attractive women whom they could talk to. You have those who were working too hard on school and early years of a career and those who were bright but socially behind the times and left on the sidelines.

    What you often see is that men who have been successful in their professional life will want to have what the did not have back in their 20 and even 30. They buy and restore vintage race cars, boats etc. The SB is the perfect addition.

  345. Studio says:

    Yeah, I kind of agree. That statement just stinks of ego masturbation to me. However I get the point, the point being that financial support is in lieu of commitment.

  346. sweetie says:

    Morning all. I think we’ve heard all misconceptions by now about sugar life. Hell, even TP has called SA a hooker site, so there you have it!

    “I don’t pay them to fuck me, I pay them to leave.” This statement is just terrible, no matter how you look at it. Please, you’re not paying anyone to leave, jeez, the euphemisms! Not even sure why it was used in the above blog topic?!

  347. OklaOpera says:


    Your IP is provided by your Internet provider. Buying a new computer will most likely not result in getting a new IP. As a workaround search for “open proxy” and configure your web browse to use that.

    I don’t know the details but it sounds like administration is being heavy handed with you. Unfortunately, you aren’t a paying customer and there are tons of girls on SA so they can treat you as disposable.

    Good luck!

  348. GenuineSD says:

    Thanks to all who offered insite on my question about discussing pots…
    Turns out that I am viewed as a bit suspect WRT intent.

  349. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Morning All, No sunshine in the UK today.

    What common misconception about sugar, bothers you the most? mmmm let me see…

    It could be the lack of understanding some potential SD’s have about what this is about but I suppose the same could be said about some SB’s.

    Remember respect for each other should be a given from the very first contact.

  350. DorkyGuy says:

    Hey Spicy, the best way to get over a pirate is to get under a new pirate!



  351. ILoveWestCoastGirl says:


    I did not read blog for a month or so.
    You are still not over your pirate ? How come ?
    You are such a smart girl ?
    Who do you like the most : yourself or pirate (or sex with a pirate 🙂

  352. ILoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Thank you .

    They blocked my IP number , I can not creat new account from my home computer. May be I should use public library computer :)))

    I can buy a new computer at Best Buy and then return it next week.

  353. ILoveWestCoastGirl says:


    No escort or any other site could have used my photos. They r not ! erotic or explicit . Boring photos.

    I wrote it to the site support ! after that they looked at my account and wrote me later “we think you are a pro” but if you promise you are not a pro and promise to follow site “standards” we would re open your account.
    It is was not smart , I am not going to promise anything if site support people at
    the beginning lied about photos being used to escort site (which is impossible – as I wrote 3 times as the blog already ) just coz they were lazy to look why actually they “suspended ” my account and then they need my “promises “? !? what I am not a pro ?!?

    There are a lot of real Pros/ sex workers who are making living by providing sex, role play/SM … there are some pimps who contacted me at the SA !
    But turned out I am the ultimate “bad guy”.

  354. SugarySpicey says:

    WCG – just create a new account. Always good to mix it up anyway.

  355. ILoveWestCoastGirl says:


    I wanted to log in again and my profile is closed for 2 months now.

    First it said “your photos were used at pro site”

    Which can not be true.

    Then support wrote me that I am a pro.

    How can I re-open my account ? it is still suspended .

    there are so many pros and all kind of people at the SA and only I am is a dangerous person here.
    What to do ?
    I wrote to support numerous times, now they just do not answer.


  356. Beach_Girl says:

    Second!!! lol

    Spicey~ have a sip for me 😀

  357. SugarySpicey says:

    First !

    And yes, tonight I am drinking wine straight from the bottle. I earned it.

  358. JennSA says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog…