5 years ago
Lies We Tell To Get The Sugar We Want


Sugar is the most honest kind of relationship. We tell each other exactly what we are willing to give, or give up, in order to form an arrangement that works for everyone. But are we really being completely honest in our pursuit of sugar? Whether it’s a little white lie about how old you really are or a lie about how much you’re actually worth; everybody has probably exaggerated or fibbed at least a little in order to get what they want.

But is that really okay? How many years shaved off your actual age before it becomes a deal-breaker? Does it really matter if he isn’t worth as much as he led on, if he can keep up with the allowance? Or is the difference between a size 2 and 4 too much to bear?

When you’re on the market, packaging is everything when it comes to success. But remember, that usually Halloween is the only time of year when you can pretend to be someone else and get away with it.

Happy Halloween!

What is the biggest lie you ever told to get what you want? 

When is a lie or misrepresentation not a deal-breaker? 

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355 Responses to “Lies We Tell To Get The Sugar We Want”

  1. Great, thanks for sharing this article post.Much thanks again. Awesome.

  2. loanemu.com says:

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  4. VAGent says:

    Dashel–watched the Patrice O’neal vid on the value of 20yo cooch. A big mistake to do at the office, but so true.
    I’m a 50yo gentleman, I shave 5 years of in my profile, mostly for my own privacy. I’ll sometimes admit it up front or would fess up immediately if questioned (haven’t been yet).
    I generally set my filter for 23-33 age range. I interviewed a couple of 22yos (one definitely lied, she was 20 and got busted when the waiter carded her) but decided they were a buncha ninnies. Seems a lot of maturity happens between 22 and 25.
    I’ve also learned to be highly suspicious of 29. Met someone with fuzzy face pics–in the flesh was actually mid-forties. 3-4 years doesn’t matter so much…but decades???

  5. MissB says:

    @Zach.5000 I’d like to think I’m pretty lucky too! Best wishes to you as well!

  6. zack.5000 says:

    @MissB Thank you very much for your comment. Your SD is a luck man! I wish you the best life has to offer.

  7. Zack says:

    Hi, Rose. pretty name, got any others?

  8. Rose says:

    I have not had alot of luck here in southwest Fl?? Maybe my radar is off. Any advice would be appreciated…

  9. SugarySpicey says:

    Assume every potential SD is a liar working at Burger King and living in his mother’s basement, while knowing that occasionally there are millionaires who give huge allowances. This means: be nice, be charming, be witty, and BE CAREFUL! Until you meet someone face to face, and have gift$ in your pocket, don’t trust a thing. Also move on to the most recent blog post, this one is a graveyard now, the blog moves on quickly.

  10. Zack says:

    Heh, how about this…

    Most new people seem to drop out in the first month, usually for good reason. Try to just listen and watch for a month without writing anything to anyone, at least on the site…What’s your hurry? welcome to the blog :)

  11. Breaze says:

    This blog is pretty helpful!

    I am a brand new college SB and have no idea if I’m on the right track yet with my profile or pictures. I am honest without revealing too much but don’t know where to go from here (only been approved since this morning and I’ve gotten 4 messages, two of which were not even worth reading). Any advice from the seasoned Sugarbabies on here??
    I would really appreciate it :)

  12. MissB says:

    @Zack.5000 I’m in my early twenties and much prefer older men. The financial aspect, I would say personally, is just a perk to it. Younger men rarely are interested in much more than impressing their friends and getting as much pussy as they can. Older men tend to not only want to spend quality time together, but in the bedroom seem to be a little more concerned about BOTH of us having an enjoyable time :)

    So, of course being we are on a SA blog, money is a factor, yes. Don’t always assume because a SB is younger and you are older there isn’t any legitimate and honest attraction to you. There’s more to you than just your money… I’d think arrangement or not, you’d want that to be known lol :)

  13. OklaOpera says:

    This is a late post but…

    @lil_onyx – I don’t know that your experiment involving a pictured profile and non-pictured profile is valid. What if the guys responding to your non-picture profile are simply bottom-feeding fake SDs who assume that you are getting less response because you have no photo?

    I’ve known several women who have conducts similar tests with such surprising results and my response is always the same. How do you know they were real? It’s a despicable behavior but there are tons of guys on here who barely know what a real SD is and do not have the funds to support an SB. They simply know there are lots of naive women who they can take for a ride while promising them the world and getting sex.

  14. Zack.5000 says:

    My friend and I have both sponsored SB’s.

    Regarding lies . . . I tell him that it is 100% about money (along with being kind and respectful to SB) and to think that the SB is honest when she tells either of us that she finds us attractive, or raves about how great we are is all theatrics. After all- why would a twenty or thirty something have interest in a 58 year old man that is either skinny and not attractive, or fat and unattractive?

    He says it is because they are attracted to our business success, power and confidence we exude . . . and that is what they find attractive….plus as older guys we know how to treat the ladies in a way younger guys do not.

    While that sounds nice I still think it is an act driven by money. I do not have a problem with that…I prefer honesty.

    Plus, I tell him….that an older guy does not perform in bed like the younger guys…so I am perplexed why a younger woman would have anything to do with an older man, if it were not for the economics only.

    I know I sound negative here, and typically I am positive, but I am trying to see this with a realistic perspective.

    Ladies….what scenario do you feel is most likely to be true? Or why would a younger lady want an older man beyond money?

    Thank you!

  15. aliya says:

    These are sooo funny.. I’m a new SB in NYC!!! Wish me luck xx

  16. SugarySpicey says:

    Hey KayKay, welcome, log on to the new blog where all the SBs are chatting now to get better tips on this. Have you looked at the status of your sent messages to see if the SDs read them ( their will be a little green check next to the name). You can also post your profile number and people will review your profile and give tips.

  17. kaykay90 says:

    Oh no! I didn’t mean trolling, I meant lurking!!!!! Legit mistake!!!

  18. kaykay90 says:

    Hi guys,

    I have just started to venture into the sugar bowl by signing up on SA and trolling all the ‘newbie SB’ tips, posts and comments here. However, I have a bunch of different questions with regards to, initiating contact with an SD, how often SDs usually sign on and check their mail (none of the ones I messaged replied), is my profile giving out the wrong vibe, and what to do when I don’t have anybody to talk to in real life about guys I’m meeting and what not, which I understand can be dangerous. If there are any SBs/SDs out there who would be cool with me emailing/chatting/whatever, that would be a huge help. I’m feeling kinda alone in this and more than a little cautious! Thank you :)


  19. Jersey Darling says:

    But whatever will I do in my room?

    PS – I wonder if they know the new blog post is broken.

  20. flyr says:

    Jersey – bad girl, go to your room …………

  21. Jersey Darling says:

    I love McDonalds sausage burritos, but I like a little sausage in the morning 😉

  22. JazzySB says:

    SBinMass- Agreed! Fast food sucks, I was only making a point.

  23. KatPaw says:

    NCGent ohh nice idea.. December is very busy for me.. But I would love to hit the city again before I move out of state. I just don’t see it happening.

  24. KatPaw says:

    Lmfao Dorkey I was watching The Hobbit last night ( in English that is)

  25. DorkyGuy says:

    @Jersey~ Mistress of mischief!

    @NCGent~ Terrific recommendation! Also very good is “Rich Dad/Poor Dad”. Everyone should own a copy.

    @EggMcMuffin dialog~ imho, far more important than diet is physical activity. If you live an active lifestyle, eat what you want. If you don’t live an active lifestyle, then get active before lethargy kills you.

    @Frank~ you had to dig up the sewer line? :/ Horrible work. At my old house, I ended up putting in an access in the yard so that I could snake it in either direction. Very handy, and not sure why that isn’t standard practice.

    Last night, I stumbled onto “The Hobbit” in Spanish. Dwarves with a Hispanic accent are hilarious!

    no offense intended toward hobbits, Spaniards, dwarves, or Hispanics

  26. onyx_percula says:

    Lies — So a pot SB contacted me… tells me she is new to the sugar, but her BFF has been a SB for years and told her all about it, and now she wants a SD for herself. Okay, seems legit enough. Fast forward several conversations and the subject of intimacy comes up… “What do you think I am some kind of hooker!”.

  27. NC Gent says:

    @JerseyDarling — I have your email address still. I will keep you posted. It would be nice to meet you in person!

  28. SBinMass says:

    lol my kid would riot too
    I just meant you dont have to throw the egg yolks away. You can add them to your kids scrambled eggs, etc

    Personally I’d rather cook than go to McD any day
    McD= barf, imo

  29. Jersey Darling says:

    @NC Gent – I don’t think I’ll be around in December, but if I am I’d be up for it :)

  30. Jersey Darling says:

    @FatBastard – Trouble for who? 😉

  31. onyx_percula says:

    @ Spicey — “Mr Pussy steps on soap box”

    Most men are afraid of failure when it comes to oral. IME every and I mean every woman is different when it comes to what they like, what really gets them off. Take your time boys, ask, listen, watch and learn. We can barely read the operators manual, listen to the owner. If she doesn’t know what she likes, take you time and help her find what she does. Men and women can take a lesson on the whole “must play with the other”… A well timed brush, touch on the outside can be better than a poke in the eye. 😉

  32. JazzySB says:

    I’m going to beat a dead horse.
    A McDonald’s egg white McMuffin is $2.69 and 250 calories. You can also buy fruit and granola oatmeal (for flyr) for $2.49 and it’s 290 calories. So really four servings of either of those is still cheaper than SBinMass’ breakfast. Just as good for you? Probably not, but interesting.
    Also, please tell me how to get kids to eat salad with fat free dressing and chicken breast. My kids would riot.

  33. SugarySpicey says:

    Speaking of canoes! Onyx, the dolphin poke should ONLY ever be introduced once a man has exhausted the perfection of his soft lapping and Gspot stroke. But, so often, guys who have less than impressive cunilinguistics, think that the trick is just to increase speed and pressure (if I wasn’t enjoying it soft and slow why would I want painful and fast?) and jam their digits into any/every orifice they could find. Not entertaining!

  34. SBinMass says:

    Congrats to BG!

    And it wasnt even a nice canoe….

  35. flyr says:

    @BG – Sometimes the real test comes down the road a year later. It’s one of the few areas in life where you do need to resist temptation. Five years and you are truly free.

    @Spicey – Totally agree that writing something is like shooting baskets, it needs to be practiced frequently.

  36. NC Gent says:

    On a totally unrelated note, I will be in NYC with my SB in mid-December. Anyone up for a small blog meet or a double sugar date?

  37. onyx_percula says:

    @ Spicey — “dolphin poke” LMAO!

  38. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!

    Dorky~ yes, it wasn’t asked the right way, anyways the list isn’t all that great either! my opinion!

    NCGent~ thank you, it wasn’t that hard to quit, just a few days here and there! I am ready for the test 😛 lol…

    Have a great day sugars,

  39. FatBastardSA says:


    I bet your neighbor deals during the week, DJ’s on the weekend, and has multiple GF’s.

    Life is strange. Interesting but strange.

  40. FatBastardSA says:



    All I want to know is who is going to play me in the movie treatment of you SA blog book?

  41. FatBastardSA says:


    Your breakfast sounds a lot like an egg McMuffin :-). You also left out the fresh strawberries.

    The list of lies you gave should be a list of little white lies. Nothing on that list should be a red flag.

    JerseyDarling has been trouble ever since I started posting on this blog.

  42. frank says:

    Not to add fuel to the rich poor debate, back many years ago, I had bought a duplex in an older part of town. I had scrimped and saved to get the minimal down payment (owner financed) and was trying to get some cash flow. So one out summer day the sewer line stopped up. Unable to afford to pay someone to fix it, I had to dig it up myself. As I was taking a short break, covered in sweat, I looked over and saw the middle aged tenant who was on welfare, lying on a lounge chair in the shade drinking ice tea.
    The rest of the day i keep trying to answer the question, who is the smart one in this scenario?

  43. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – I am a writer, writing is a muscle that must constantly be exercised. I use my blog, and this blog to combat writer’s block. Although the men may be unproductive, the writing now has one novel completed, a second finished and undergoing editing, and a third in progress. Considering most would-be writers never get past page 60, I’m calling the blog time productive. :p

  44. NC Gent says:

    @SBinMass – nice list — I actually liked “divorced = separated for multiple years” I see SBs and SDs that have been “separated” now for 3 or 4 years…. is that really separated??!!! lol

    Also, I forgot to mention my biggest pet peeve of a lie… when they say non-smoker when in fact they smoke…. it is awful to get a taste of cigarettes when you kiss your “non-smoker” and there is no way to hide that. Beachgirl — you ready for the non-smoker test??? (congrats BG – you are awesome)

    I happen to like Dorky’s sense of humor, and I would definitely say he has one…. it may be a bit “dorky” but I enjoy it. Not to pour fuel on the fire, but I tend to ignore lists that want to categorize people. Anyways, a good book on the habits of millionaires is “The Millionaire Next Door.” I even know some poor people who have read it, but I think they were watching reality tv while doing so :)

  45. Studio says:

    I have been in bed by 9.30 Monday and Tuesday and something of a grumpy bear with any poor person who has had to interact with me.

    Coming round now though.

  46. KatPaw says:

    Can even see straight

  47. KatPaw says:

    Lmao studio you living off of caffeine at the moment? Lmao I’m surprised you can even straight enough to type. Sounds like you lucked out taking honest women back to the hotel! Lol but sounds like you need a vacation after that jaunt.

  48. Studio says:

    vice Katpaw, vice of every kind imaginable.

    If you can think of something immoral, I was at it.

    Met older SB in a hotel on Friday night, didn’t sleep at all, drove back to my home town about 10AM and went straight out to the pub to meet loads of friends.

    Was out with friends from 10AM until 6AM and picked up some amazing women. Unfortunately I was barely able to walk by the time we convinced them to come back to a hotel with us so we checked in to a hotel at around 6.30 with these girls and promptly passed out.

    Amazingly they didn’t take any of our watches, wallets or anything else.

    We had a football (soccer) outing planned for the next day so were back in the pub by lunchtime and out again until about 10PM

    I have been utterly devastated ever since in mind body and soul.

  49. KatPaw says:

    @Studio lmao what you do this weekend that has you so wreaked? Lol

  50. Studio says:

    I would love love love a boat. A proper boat, one that could sail the whole world.

    Can’t justify it, I am as far from the sea as it is possible to be and I work all all all the time.

    It would be a huge waste of money and an albatross round my neck.

    maybe in 20 years when I stop working like an idiot all the time. (I’m not even in my 40s yet).

  51. KatPaw says:

    Morning Sugars!
    SBinMass lmfao the boat=canoe had me rolling!!!

  52. Jersey Darling says:

    @SBinMass: “I own a boat = its a canoe”

    LOL, literally laughed at this one!

  53. SBinMass says:

    How I Eat Eating Healthy on a Budget

    -egg white omelet
    eggs $3 a dozen, learning to separate the whites/yolks good skill to have for baking, other recipes
    1 fresh pepper or onion <$2
    1 package of precut mushrooms <$4
    margarine sticks to fry it all in <$3 for 4sticks
    No Cheese!
    $12 for 4 servings of breakfast of 3egg white omelets
    (cook yolks for your kids if you have them!)

    head of iceburg lettuce <$2
    fat free dressing <$4
    utilize peppers bought above
    $6-8 salads for a week

    Package of skinless chicken tenderloins – $5-9
    enough chicken for 3+ meals

    Dont want to cook?
    Frozen Lean Cuisine Meals are $3-7 each
    add black pepper and garlic powder to taste

    Canned veggies – $1-3

    It can be done, IMO

  54. SBinMass says:

    JerseyD- I didnt mean you as a troll or troublemaker :-)

  55. SBinMass says:

    On topic-
    Biggest lies Ive seen/gotten from Pot SD
    49yrs old =64
    last sb got 1500/mth in first message = actually I dont do allowances
    I own a boat = its a canoe
    divorced = separated for multiple yrs

    My profile reads next town over and one year *older* than I am. For anonymity reasons

  56. Jersey Darling says:

    Well, looks like I accidentally lit a fire by posting my comment about wealthy people being more likely to lie during negotiations. Whoops! I had just watched a video on a study of how people who are wealthy, or put in conditions that make them feel wealthy, are more likely to lie. Thought it was interesting.

    And I thought it would be interesting to consider that in an SD/SB context, not to insinuate that all SDs lie, but to look at how those who are already more powerful in negotiating due to their wealth are more likely to compound that power by lying.

  57. SBinMass says:

    Is it me or do we have some trolls, troublemakers and throwers of Fuel on the Fire?

    As usual- interesting comments to read
    Congrats SS on the new job, successful negotiation and fun LV trip

    Ive seen the topic of AA SB’s a few times on here. Keep patient- there are SD’s looking for all races

    And no I’m not reading those poverty/rich articles. Bleh

  58. Jersey Darling says:

    Well, looks like I accidentally lit a fire by posting my comment about wealthy people being more likely to lie during negotiations. Whoops! I had just watched a video on a study of how people who are wealthy, or put in conditions that make them feel wealthy, are more likely to lie. Thought it was interesting.

  59. Studio says:

    I need to start learning to accept I am not a 20 year old rock star and stop trying to live like one. it destroys mind body and wallet.

    it also means I am utterly non functional for half the week.

    Age starting to catch up with me :(

  60. DorkyGuy says:

    “I’ve run into more than a few wealthy men who have the same outlook. I no longer argue the issue, THAT’S a waste of time.”

    Lol! See? I stand by my statement that the responses are far more interesting than anything I have posted!

  61. sweetie says:

    Fatty, are you sure you’re not Beck? The Economist, getting serviced on a boat, true, not a random hotel room…

  62. FatBastardSA says:


    You missed the part about being serviced at the same time. I might be a populist but I still know what the proper place for a woman should be :-).

  63. DorkyGuy says:

    @FB~ So in your fantasy, you are on a yacht surrounded by SBs, and you are… reading the economist?! That is one crazy fantasy! I don’t judge though…

  64. FatBastardSA says:


    The game must be rigged, otherwise I would be reading the economist on my yacht while being serviced by an endless supply of SB’s who would never expect an orgasm.

  65. JazzySB says:

    @ beach- Dorky’s post rubbed me the wrong way too. I’ve run into more than a few wealthy men who have the same outlook. I no longer argue the issue, THAT’S a waste of time. His viewpoint won’t change regardless of what we have to say. Also, he seems to really be on the defensive. I mean all that negativity was inspired by a quote that Sweetie posted jokingly.

    Can someone get Dorky a Valium?

  66. DorkyGuy says:

    @Beach_Girl, I am sorry that the way I introduced it was offensive. I agree, it was!

    A few posts prior to that, you will find that Jersey Girl said the following: “I just read a study that those who are wealthy are more likely to lie during negotiations. I wonder how that applies to SDs for this blog topic?” My statement was intended to be a juxtaposition of that, and was clumsily made.

    @FB~ yes, therapeutic. I actually learned some new things from this exchange. 1) I need to find out who the hell this Mencken cat is. 2) If people think the game is rigged, you really can’t convince them otherwise. 3) Someone somewhere thinks that organic granola creates wealth, which illustrates that there are nuts in every bowl!

  67. JazzySB says:

    Well that escalated quickly : /

  68. Beach_Girl says:

    FBSD~ lol… I didn’t like the way the question was asked, maybe it’s me… i’m sensitive, who knows… but reading articles like that isn’t wasting time on the internet? heck, I read stuff online too… we all have our down time, I don’t think because you have less money you do more unproductive things.. ok, gonna stop lol…
    How is the shoe store by the way? think I should go in the shoe business!!! lol

  69. FatBastardSA says:


    Well you have to admit that the blog SB’s tend to post more often than the SD’s. Consider PriceySpicey’s love life postings. If that is not an example of unproductive behavior I don’t know what is.

    Just kidding Pricey, hope you are doing well :-).

  70. FatBastardSA says:


    I don’t think anyone is getting upset except for flyr, and that is only because he did not have his Wimbledon breakfast this morning :-).

  71. FatBastardSA says:


    I am an individual and I choose my own option :-).

    The list is stupid and superficial. I don’t need some asshole telling me that if I eat organic granola I will end up rich. The game is rigged. I have two options.

    1) Try really hard, hope it pays off, and get personal satisfaction from my effort either way.

    2) Go on welfare, smoke weed, and make babies (and have my GF find a SD to pay for my new XBox).

    I tell myself option 1) is best but maybe I am deluding myself. Perhaps we can take a poll.

    I did not say that the only influential person in a kids life is a drug dealer, but for many kids there is a good chance that they are the wealthiest influence. I am not sure why you think that this would imply that there would be no market for drugs. You have to elaborate a bit more on this part.

    When we talk of criminals influencing children are we talking about white collar criminals who steal millions while giving advice on networking :-) ?

    This post was very therapeutic…

  72. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!

    I read up a little,
    Dorky~ The list, What pisses me off… not the list, the way you posted your question “I just read a study that says that the poor are more likely to waste time doing completely unproductive stuff on the internet. I wonder how that applies to SBs?” why only SBs? wtf? sorry, i’m in a pissed off mood!
    The list, not accurate at all… yes the rich have more opportunities… money does tend to do that!!!! and yes to some extent I agree… you know what happen to me, so … yeah… I think if you have money it’s easier! If you don’t you have to work your ass off and then some! ok, gonna get off here before I say something way out of line!

  73. sweetie says:

    Dorky “I can see that you don’t have the capacity to debate a viewpoint without lobbing personal insults, so I won’t attempt it! The very evidence that someone needs to “grow some” is when they don’t have enough to support their idea that they have to attack the person to make traction”… and all the other stuff.

    Wow, man! You sure are sensitive and on the defensive. I did not insult you nor did I throw jabs at you. Chill, dude.

  74. DorkyGuy says:

    @FB~ I understand that, and I agree with you in some respects.

    The list wasn’t meant to be a recipe. Some of the items, I don’t agree with either.

    To me, the response to the list is more interesting than the list itself.

    Who do you think is generally going to fare better in life?

    A) The person who looks at a list like this and says “I don’t agree with a, b, and c, but you know, x, y, and z are good points, and w is a decent idea too. How can I implement the ideas that make sense?”

    B)…. or the person who responds by saying “a, b, and c are clearly stupid. This whole list is crap. It doesn’t matter, because the game is rigged anyway.”.

    The person who spends their energy complaining about how the game is rigged is unlikely to learn the skills necessary to win the game.

    Regarding the drug dealer, I understood why you made the reference. I just don’t happen to agree. If all of the influential adults in a kids’ life is a dealer, then who the heck is buying? The dealer to buyer ratio would be unsustainable.

    With the exception of the gang-controlled projects, I think most kids have some example(s) in their lives of people who are not criminals.

  75. flyr says:

    “This is why I brought up the drug dealer who is the only tangible example of a rich successful person that many people have, and explains why many poorer people go into the drug trade.”

    It’s a chicken and egg argument. You have 25 years of rap music and videos plus movies, glorifying the gangsta lifestyle. The medial moguls are making billions promoting the destruction of a major segment of our society and the neighborhoods which they occupy. Sadly the same folks own too much of Washington. Back in the neighborhoods there’s not much left but the dealers and gangbangers.

  76. FatBastardSA says:


    Good for you. I grew up in the city and I do not remember having access to a strawberry farm all year round for my breakfast.

    Please inform me why a peanut butter sandwich is better than an egg McMuffin. Are the kids supposed to have the Gevalla coffee as well?

  77. FatBastardSA says:


    I really don’t think I am a populist. When someone talks about caring about the good of the “people” I always think of another great Mencken quote:

    The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

  78. flyr says:

    RE Breakfast and manual labor – Long before there was an internet or paved highways within 100 miles I worked summers on a cattle ranch in a remote area of BC. After the early chores, breakfast was wild berries and oatmeal, not because it was healthy but because they were dirt poor ranchers. Somehow we managed to spend the next 5 hours wrestling 80 pound bales of hay onto the wagons , building fence or doing other manual labor. A brief lunch break with peanut butter sandwiches and milk and another 6 hours of work. But my comment was aimed more at the young mother with two pre school age kids standing in line at McDonalds for breakfast.

    Dorky is right, the uncrowded highway is one with the TV off, good books and intelligent folks. Not easy to find in many areas. Every teacher does not have to take you under their wing, only one or two every few years. Unfortunately, in many neighborhoods the mentors used to be small businessmen working 18 hour days. With the exception of immigrants, they are mostly long gone – shot dead in armed robberies , put out of business by laws or big boxes or simply fled to the suburbs.

    The relevance to sugar is that there’s an great opportunity for an SB to get far more than just an allowance. However, she needs to identify that she wants more and then seek out those who are willing and capable of providing those things she seeks as part of the package. She may be surprised to find that far from considering the adds as a burden, the SD will cherish someone who is pursuing them.

  79. FatBastardSA says:


    I always respect those who have bettered themselves in some way, and your success did not come easy to you I am sure. At the same time a lot of people are born into money/influence and I think it is wrong to pretend that this does not make a difference. Critical mass is hard to achieve. This is why I don’t blindly mimic every action of someone I know who has a large bank account which I feel that list like the one you posted encourages me to do.

    I think many poorer people understand the concept of networking pretty well already and don’t need a list to explain it to them. This is why I brought up the drug dealer who is the only tangible example of a rich successful person that many people have, and explains why many poorer people go into the drug trade.

  80. I think honesty is an important part of any relationship, so I don’t think “sugar lies” are ever acceptable.
    The issue of not being truthful about age was brought up in the article. I would never lie about my age since it’s something I’m proud of. I’m 37 by the way.

  81. DorkyGuy says:

    Don’t mistake that to mean that I can’t take the personal jab. I can take it just fine.

    I have just learned from experience (and partly from my own mistakes) that any debate where any party is willing to resort to personal jabs generally devolves, and is not healthy for a public blog or forum.

  82. DorkyGuy says:

    Fatty’s a populist, who knew! Trust me FB, the little corner of the trailer park didn’t have anyone I could learn from. I didn’t have fortunate access to anyone. You seek people out. Even if your teachers and bosses suck (and most do), find mentors in books. Read, read, read. And you make sacrifices that most others aren’t willing to make. *everyone* has a path to a better life if they will just take the initiative to seek it out and do the hard work.

    I honestly don’t understand how any of that is controversial.

    @sweety~ “I see you have no sense of humor. I suggest you grow some. ”

    I can see that you don’t have the capacity to debate a viewpoint without lobbing personal insults, so I won’t attempt it! The very evidence that someone needs to “grow some” is when they don’t have enough to support their idea that they have to attack the person to make traction.

    I approach debates using a less extreme version of Godwin’s Law. Debating ideas is fine, and healthy! But the first time someone attacks a person instead of an idea, the debate is over, regardless of who is right. From that point forward, the discussion is pointless.

  83. DarkHorseSD says:

    There was a little in real life flirting at the tow pound with an Italian bird, but it didn’t work out.

    We need SA to issue pins like they do for congresspersons.

  84. onyx_percula says:

    @ DarkHorseSD — I am not sure if I want to say “You lucky mother fu&*er” or “That sucks”. Give me another 48 hours and my prospective will solidify, lol! All I have to say for now is… Exciting times!

    @ nwsugarbaby — Hmmm I was thinking French Polynesia instead of a pill… Bora Bora comes to mind…

  85. DarkHorseSD says:

    Minimal sugar activity to report over the last 36 hours.

  86. sweetie says:

    Fatty, I’m glad you appreciate it.

  87. FatBastardSA says:


    You are right about Mencken. Great insights.

  88. nwsugarbaby says:

    @flyr- great advice on how to use being a sugar baby to keep moving upward. my parents didn’t go to college so it has been helpful to talk to other people and hear how they got from college to an amazing career. I am interviewing for positions and hope to find the right opportunity soon.

    @onyx- The places you mentioned Northern Cali, OR, WA are all great for a laid back person and overall everyone is pretty nice. I like it here and suggest Vitamin D for this time of year when the sun doesn’t shine enough.

  89. sweetie says:

    Dorky, looks like you brought the system down! :)
    Just so we’re clear, you read between the lines. About that quote, I think it is particularly funny, but I see you have no sense of humor. I suggest you grow some. And the guy who said it, he’s even funnier. You gotta take his words with a grain of salt, but they sure are entertaining. Just wiki him.

  90. FatBastardSA says:


    I worked hard and sacrificed which others at the factory would not do. This is why I have the Nike collection that I do.

    I think you were fortunate to have access to people you could learn from (about making money) when you were poor. I certainly did not.


    I don’t know what is so healthy about Gevalla coffee, what ever that is. Fresh strawberries is the breakfast of choice for people who do physical labour? Try it sometime and let me know how that works out for you. I will stick to an egg mcmuffin the next time I have to move.

  91. KatPaw says:

    Woohoo up and running again. Lol

  92. Exotic SB says:

    Barely – turn up your mic 😉

  93. onyx_percula says:

    Can you hear me now?

  94. DorkyGuy says:

    “God must love the rich or he wouldn’t divide so much among so few of them.” H.L. Mencken

    @sweetie, I’m not the one who started the class warfare schtick. And believe it or not, I am neither anti-poor, nor do I think that I am in any way better because I am no longer poor. I just get irritated when I see quotes like the above that seem to attribute the distribution of wealth to “God” or dumb luck, and imply that it is unfair, without acknowledging that ones fate usually has less to do with the whims of the universe and more to do with personal decisions and long-term planning.

  95. flyr says:

    For the SB on an upward trajectory the advice would be to pick your SD from the place you want to be and the person you aspire to be

  96. flyr says:


    Not politically correct but Breakfast of fresh strawberries and oatmeal, with Gevalla coffee < $2.00 and 2 min+ 47 seconds (2:30 waiting for the microwave to cook) vs $5.00 for an egg mcmuffin and sucky coffee

  97. sweetie says:

    @Dorky “I just read a study that says that the poor are more likely to waste time doing completely unproductive stuff on the internet. I wonder how that applies to SBs?

    If we are going to rag on the rich for having too much and not deserving it, I am curious what you guys think about this list… I find that this is mostly true among people that I know on both sides of the spectrum:


    Depends what you/SBs think being unproductive is. Plus, you assume SBs are poor, so they must be wasting time on the internet. Are the poor SBs the same paupers from the article? Why look to be with one of them since they can’t seem to change their mindset and bad habits to get out of their poor lifestyle?

    Also, “to rag on the rich” makes you look like you have a chip on your shoulder, Dorky. Are you one of those rich ones? “I find that this is mostly true among people that I know on both sides of the spectrum.” Really? Generalization, much? None of my friends are rich, mind you, but they do lead healthy life styles and seem to enjoy reading a book or two now and then, plus use their brain on a daily basis. Perfectly rich behavior, wouldn’t you say? Oh, and they don’t gamble.
    I got plenty to say on the subject, but it’s irrelevant. You believe what you want, I believe what I want.

  98. Laura says:

    Oh my, so much activity here!!

    @ Beachy and SS, congrats on quitting and the new job, ladies

    @Onyx, you’re always out having so much fun, your stories make me jealous (among other things)

  99. onyx_percula says:

    @ Spicey — Even if it was with a all hands man, that is a wonderful show! One of my all time favorites, lucky girl.

    Touching goes both ways ladies. Just like you like to know from the first that he is interested in you for more than “just a friend” in those sweet subtle ways. Don’t just put a hand on, do something with it. SB#1 likes to put her hand on my knee/legs and rubs a little, squeeze a little. Or she will put a hand just above my hip and squeeze a little.

  100. flyr says:

    continued – the very antithesis or romantic but part of the local culture

  101. flyr says:

    @Jersey – Put Durgin Park on your list for some New England style prime rib and baked Indian Pudding

  102. DorkyGuy says:

    @FB, I agree some of the items are irrelevant. However, how did you get promoted out of the factory to managing a shoe store, when so many of your peers are still at the factory? Just luck?

    #12) One of the most useful pieces of advice I ever received was this: every once in a while find someone who is where you want to be, take them out to lunch, and listen. I did it when I was poor, and I need to do it more often now. People are surprisingly generous about sharing their secrets to success if they know someone is genuinely interested. Only like five of them were drug dealers.

  103. SugarySpicey says:

    Just saw La Reve with a delightful
    Columbian man who is sure NOT to get laid. Will give all the details as to why later – men, take note: Touch early, touch often, but in subtle ways.

  104. FatBastardSD says:


    I hate poor people as much as I hate giving a SB an orgasm but I think a lot of the list is dumb.

    1. Eating “healthy” which I assume means shopping at Whole Foods is expensive. Hard to fault poor people for not having money to buy expensive food.

    3. Poor people don’t have time to do yoga and buy LuLu pants.

    7. I helped my parents when I was a child. Not much time to volunteer.

    12. Who the hell are poor people going to network with other than a drug dealer?

    13. Rich people spend time racing cars, sailing boats, and having arrangements. Poor people would do the same if they could afford it, instead they watch TV.

    15. I did not wake up early when I was working in a factory. Too tired.

    19. Formal education can really help when you have the connections to make it useful.

  105. DorkyGuy says:

    lol! I wasn’t referring to this blog… Clearly, participating in this blog is the pinnacle of self-improvement! That’s why I am here. I feel my IQ inch up every time I check in!

  106. Jersey Darling says:

    Causing change by affecting the players* and corruptive waste of time. I should really proofread when posting from my phone.

  107. Jersey Darling says:

    @Flyr – Perhaps mystery can be the center of attention, but as I’ve grown older I’ve found that I only want the attention of a select few people in my life. For everything else I’ve ended up flying below the radar, causing change my affecting the players, but only being recognized by a few, if at all, that I was the person that caused those changes.

    @Spicey – I feel the same way in that most people don’t really know me at all. In fact, I can be very candid and open about myself, yet most people don’t understand the context in which I’m saying things so they never get the full story. I used to be quite extroverted when I was younger and always commanded a room, but somewhere along the line my preferences changed.

    @Dorky, define unproductive 😛 I spend countless hours googling anything and everything, and occasionally participating in blogs like this that – since I’m not even participating in sugar – could be considered a complete and even corruptive way of time. But I love people watching and understanding everything in the world around me. For me this is, surprisingly, productive.

    @DarkHorse, Perfect for every occasion. I love love LOVE a good steak! Mmm!

  108. onyx_percula says:

    @ DarkHorseSD — The booths at both locations around here are well suited for several playful activities… It’s on my rotation of places, aka same old. Melting Pot has private booths too, not soundproof and you should tip your server well and “you should announce yourself when you come to the table”. They don’t seem to mind long diner dates, and are even kind enough to discretely return “lost items”, lol.

  109. DarkHorseSD says:

    Just got back from Ruth’s Chris. I love their steaks. How is it for a sugar date? First meet? Second date? Same old same old? Place where you finally tell her ‘it’s not you, it’s me.’?

  110. DorkyGuy says:

    I just read a study that says that the poor are more likely to waste time doing completely unproductive stuff on the internet. I wonder how that applies to SBs?

    If we are going to rag on the rich for having too much and not deserving it, I am curious what you guys think about this list… I find that this is mostly true among people that I know on both sides of the spectrum:


  111. SugarySpicey says:

    I am very extroverted, bubbly, and “wild” but my real self, and the real stories, only come out when I’m feeling quiet and comfortable. Most men who “know” me never really know much about me at all.

  112. sweetie says:

    Since we’re talking about the wealthy… How do you like this quote?
    “God must love the rich or he wouldn’t divide so much among so few of them.” H.L. Mencken

  113. flyr says:

    There was another study that people were more likely to lie in the afternoon. I assume it only gets worse after dark and with a little wine.

    @ Jersey – Mystery can be the center of attention.

  114. Jersey Darling says:

    I just read a study that those who are wealthy are more likely to lie during negotiations. I wonder how that applies to SDs for this blog topic?

  115. Jersey Darling says:

    @DarkHorse, knowledgable about NY are you?

    Private story to share with you all that Spicey reminded me of when she mentioned that women should be better at doling out stories in bits and pieces. When I was in college, I dated this guy that drove me wild. I felt he was the most attractive man I’d ever seen, and he was reserved and had a mystery about him. I decided that I wished I was reserved like that.

    Five years later, somehow my wish was slowly granted over time until it hit me one day that I became that reserved girl and I dislike it! I miss when I was extroverted and enjoyed being the center of attention.

  116. ImportedBrownedSugar says:

    *kept woman lol excuse my typo

  117. ImportedBrownedSugar says:

    This is completely off subject but I’ve been a member of SA for almost 3 years and I’d like to take a moment to reflect on something: Is it me (through my research I’ve found that it’s not) or are what I like to call us Brown Sugar Babies having a much more difficult time with our search in the sugar bowl? I’ve found that there is a stigma attached to our skin and needless to say I’ve become quite discouraged. I’ve never posted in the blog but I do follow it as well as the advice provided by fellow sb’s here and I’d say my profile definitely stands out. However I find that sd’s have no interest in brown sugar. I get a lot of “I don’t do black women” or “Caucasian, Asian, insert any other lighter ethnicity here only.” I guess I feel like there is a preconceived notion about us which I’m not getting. I’m not “ghetto”, loud,belligerent etc. In fact I’m educated, fit, well cultured and often made fun of for “not acting black.”
    I’m not looking to be a jet woman my entire life, which is why I’m studying for dual majors. I’d actually like to be affluent myself. I guess I’d just like to be seen as a person first and not collectively judged. Does anyone have any advice that was not posted in the blog? I guess I’m in need of support at this point because 3yrs it’s a long time to be optimistic.

    Thanks in advance! :)

  118. SugarySpicey says:

    “Oh my, will I fit in you magic box!?”

  119. DorkyGuy says:

    “wow, you ARE the world’s greatest magician… You made your dick disappear!”

  120. sweetie says:

    A lesbian who looks like David Copperfield… I don’t know Sugary, that sounds disturbing. :(

  121. SugarySpicey says:

    Dorky – there is a lesbian who looks a little like Copperfield who keeps making eye contact. Perhaps with enough to drink I can play Claudia Schiffer, I am blonde after all. 😉

  122. onyx_percula says:

    @ Spicey — The Wynn is my favorite place to stay in Vegas. A little something many likely don’t know… When you on the lower floors, you can hear the people below, and they can hear you if are you standing next to the glass… you can see out, but they can’t see in can they?

  123. DorkyGuy says:

    Watch, David Copperfield will walk up to her table, and make a perfect Vegas moment one for the history books.

  124. SugarySpicey says:

    Onyx – and that is why you are so fascinated. More women should learn to dole out their stories slowly, and coyly – men love mystery and too many women give their life story on the first date.

    It is one of those absolutely perfect Vegas moments!

  125. onyx_percula says:

    @ Spicey — Grrr… I would love to be sitting in the entry garden at the Wynn with a nice drink and a wonderful next to me.

    @ sweetie — Easier said than done I am afraid. She will volunteer tidbits completely out of the blue, we will talk about it, and wham on to another topic.

  126. SugarySpicey says:

    Onyx – you know what works even better, long blonde hair and a smile. 😉 upgraded, checked in and having a cocktail over at the Wynn, beautiful weather in Vegas which is great, it’s snowing at home.

  127. sweetie says:

    That’s a nice of way of putting it, Onyx. To me it’s more like better not bring out the past, especially relationship wise. Not sure why, but it’s always a bad idea in my case.

  128. onyx_percula says:

    @ sweetie — Just to know her better. I really have never met anyone as complex as her before. So I am constantly in this tug of war between sticking my nose where it is unwelcome and really just being very interested. She is like slowly turning the pages of an old illuminated tome, you never know what the next page will hold and hope you never run out of pages.

  129. KatPaw says:

    Exotic I couldn’t agree more about that CLICK!!!!! 😉

  130. sweetie says:

    I had coffee yesterday, it kept me up all night, I could barely sleep. Now I feel almost like I have a hangover. Not liking this at all.

  131. sweetie says:

    Onyx, why ask her about her lost virginity? Who cares? Let the topic be, no need for inquisition.

  132. onyx_percula says:

    @ Spicey — A $20 bill will work wonders, both in cutting lines and getting upgraded. It’s truly surprising to me it works as often as it does.

  133. onyx_percula says:

    SB#1 had a confession last night that caught me a little by surprise… I am the first man she has slept with that wasn’t married, in and out of the sugar bowl. Been thinking if I should ask if she lost her virginity to her first SD or what. Not sure if I should take that as a compliment or not. Oh and yes she hasn’t had an SD that wasn’t married. So I am a turning out to be a “first time” for her in lots of things…

  134. SugarySpicey says:

    Onyx – it was absolutely killing me! Killing Me!

    What’s killing me now is this line to check in at The Trump! Where’s MILK when I need him? I never waited in lines at hotels with MILK!

  135. Exotic SB says:

    Congrats BG! Celebrating with ya lady! It will be one year for me on December 14th!

    Congrats to you as well Spicey! Wooohoooo ~ Cheers Sugar xo

    Jersey – Yes it does help to be self aware and know your strengths and weaknesses! Packaging is what it is all about…

    Kat – I echo your sentiments ie:lying vs truth telling.

    No one is worth a lie in my world. To lower my own personal integrity for someone else’s comfort? I think not. I establish clear boundaries so that any topics that I do not want to discuss (ie: my daughter) are off limits until and if I choose otherwise (and I would hope this would be reciprocal…). I am a little different, though. I find someone who is authentic – SEXY! Someone who is authentic and I click with them – SUPER SEXXXXXXY! Call me old fashioned, I am holding out for THAT 😉 I truly believe that whawt you put out IS what you get back, so I keep it real at all costs.

  136. onyx_percula says:

    @ Spicey — OMG you’re disciplined! How on earth could you not!!!!

  137. SugarySpicey says:

    The girl in the seat behind me on the flight to Vegas was explaining to her friend about this older gentleman that she’s dating who “does sweet things and takes care” of her the girlfriend kept asking “but do you like having sex with him?” I was in conservative buttoned up work mode or I’d have needed to turn around to say, “Hell yeah! Older men are such better lovers!”

  138. onyx_percula says:

    @ DarkHorseSD — Meh… lots to advantages, but it seems like people just turn hard there. I love low key simple easy, every time I have been in NYC it hasn’t felt anything like that. Eventually I will likely end up in Northern Cali, Oregon or Washington. I am really fond of Monterey and maybe keep a place here for winters as Monterey gets wet and cold in winter.

    @ Spicey — I am with you girl! A nice lazy sleep in morning, get up and going, meet someone nice for a relaxed lazy mid morning/afternoon with someone that you can play with too… yep makes for a great start to a new week!

  139. Jj says:

    @ et al -Cannot find a reasonable reason to “lie” on a profile, litle fib maybe, as the truth will always prevail. @ 62 honesty has always been the best in having a true sd/sb experience, but I have noticed that the true relationship has diminished from my times past. Maybe I am remaining to old fashioned, but a sb is a very special individual in my life and I am most pleased when she is delighted. Alas, as to my latest search, it has been way less than disappointing. Where have all the sb’s gone!?!??

  140. SugarySpicey says:

    Dorky – this surgeon does, from what I remember. 😉 very controlled hands, and a very intense bedside manner. I love brunch, mimosas and a full afternoon of who knows what can follow.

  141. DarkHorseSD says:

    Onyx might find living in a larger village enjoyable. Like NYC.

    Did you catch that Jersey? 😉

  142. onyx_percula says:

    @ gtt_envy — Work then Sugar and what else is there? I can’t seem to want to remember… It helps to not need more than a few hours of sleep, being able to generally complete work projects rapidly and having ample opportunity to sugar.

  143. gtt_envy says:

    Onyx…. .you must live sugar day in and day out.

    The pecking order:
    1. WORK
    2. SUGAR

    I only say this beacuse you seem to always talk about browsing, meeting new pots, seeing old pots, or going on dates with SBs.

    Sugar is more of a brownie on a cheat day for me and more like a daily 5 course meal for you.

    Sounds fun though!!
    It seems to be a

  144. onyx_percula says:

    I took SB#1 to the ballet (Cinderella) last night… She looked absolutely stunning in a tasteful “little black dress”. She turned many a head at dinner before and ballet after. It’s always nice when your friend and lover is also incredible arm candy. 😀

    She spotted a pot SD that she had met. He was with a cute little brunette that was obviously painfully miserable. I spotted four pot SBs I had either messaged or met with. Seen a few other couples that had a sugar look about them. Maybe I should just get season tickets…

  145. DorkyGuy says:

    A man asks you to Sunday brunch? Sexy! 😛 Were his parents invited?

    I imagine a surgeon would have some amount of skill in the bedroom!

  146. SugarySpicey says:

    The Surgeon called last night and asked me to brunch, of course … since I couldn’t go. One thing turned to another and sexty times were had. I will say that my fingers were proficient, but I’d have much rathered have a man there.

  147. Studio says:

    Jesus Christ. I have utterly destroyed myself this weekend.

  148. flyr says:

    unk “No one knows how to do it better” Perhaps you need an “understudy” who will take your wisdom and his initiative and elevate your world.”

  149. sweetie says:

    Enjoy yourself, you little you!

  150. SugarySpicey says:

    Sweetie – I was contemplating changing my profile to potentially meet up with someone fun in Vegas, since I could be there for 1-5 nights depending on how things go. Decided against it. Casual sex isn’t my thing, and if I met up with someone for dinner chances are they’d be trying to close for more. So, it’ll just be little old me (and a great big margarita!)

  151. sweetie says:

    Sugary, I thought you mentioned a Vegas SD somewhere. Que paso?

  152. SugarySpicey says:

    Packing for Las Vegas now: a night to myself in a five star before my last big work initiative at my current job then wrapping things up and getting ready for my new career. Will definitely be employing my fingers in that big hotel bed, may even need to employ the jets on the in room jacuzzi. Hotel sex is the best! Unfortunately, I’ll be doing it solo.

  153. SugarySpicey says:

    I like the Hitachi for when I just want a guaranteed 45 second orgasm, my fingers for when I’m turned on and want some stimulation but don’t have a man around, and a man + a courtesy hand for when I want to get bent over the side of the bed – for everything else, a penis/tongue is best.

  154. Jersey Darling says:

    I find taking care of myself the best. No one knows how to do it better 😉

  155. littleonyx says:

    @sweetie: Agreed. While I love BOB, and tolerate my fingers, it’s just not the same.

  156. sweetie says:

    My fingers never let me down, either. Still, masturbation is such a let down.

  157. littleonyx says:

    @flyr: You have a point. Often we become enablers. Not intentionally, but by the time we realize it, it’s too late and we’re miserable, day in and day out. I know that feeling all too well. I live it every single day of my life.

    As for me, BOB and I have been together a very long time. Sometimes we’ve brought a man into the mix, but he and I are committed to each other. Unfortunately, even though we’ve been together a very long time, our encounters are infrequent. Having discovered new things that my body can do is awesome…and BOB was nowhere in the picture. But he remains faithful to me. Never lets me down (unless the power’s out)!

  158. onyx_percula says:

    @ flyr — Would you quit pointing out the obvious that no one seems to see! 😉

  159. flyr says:

    @little onyx – A decade or so ago when business ran in a more relaxed mode our last Friday of the month staff lunches usually ran long past sundown when the conversation often turned to man problems . After a half hour, tequila inspired rant from one (regarding her “boyfriend’s ineptness in the bedroom) I asked ” He never opens the car door for you, never, waits for you to start your meal or for you to finish before having the plates cleared, usually interrupts you when you talk ………… and you’re surprised at what’s happening (or not happening ) in the bedroom? When women reward bad behavior (and fail to reward good behavior) they invite more……..

  160. Jersey Darling says:

    DarkHorse, you’re speaking my language 😉 If you don’t mind me asking, where are you from?

    @Sweetie, I’m with you! Also about the masquerade event – I think it’s just a way for SA to monetize and gain press coverage.

  161. sweetie says:


  162. KatPaw says:

    Flyr couldn’t agree with you more!

  163. flyr says:

    Hitachi ?

    It’s like using a hammer to work on a Rollex. It might get it running if all it needs is vibration but it’s not going to perform well in the long term. ‘

    My experience is that the older women (older than the average sb age) who have been dating BOB for a long time frequently have a substantial issue getting to the letter o while light users and such seem to get through the whole alphabet with little pause.

  164. sweetie says:

    Jersey “I swear this blog reminds me of just how vanilla I am.”
    I’m fine with vanilla. No pain infliction on me nor sub/dom behavior. Equal rights for me, ha!

  165. littleonyx says:

    @gtt_envy: Maybe some women do. But I know my body better than anyone else, and I know that I can orgasm from vaginal sex. He just couldn’t do it for me in the very short amount of time it lasted, in combination with his impressive lack of skill. I didn’t even have time to get myself off so I could make something out of it! I mean, if you get yours first, I can handle that…but don’t abandon me and start dozing off while you’re laying next to me.

    I should mention that when I left he was all, “You made me feel soooo good. When do you wanna get together again?” I was thinking, “When you can think about someone other than yourself, Quick Draw McGraw. By the way…foreplay is nice, too.”


  166. SugarySpicey says:

    Hitachi! Hitachi! Hitachi!

  167. DarkHorseSD says:

    JD: “I swear this blog reminds me of just how vanilla I am.”

    Now how long have I been advocating a little espresso in people’s vanilla?

  168. KatPaw says:

    Celebrator wins hands down over every other toy I own ( comb with others nice) you can repeatedly orgasm with out over stimulating and desensitizing the clit.

  169. onyx_percula says:

    So girls, Lelo or Hitachi?

  170. KatPaw says:

    The celebrator is my best seller for clitoral stimulation. 😉 I love my Celebrator!!

  171. gtt_envy says:

    @littleonyx, most woman have a very hard reaching orgasm through vaginal sex anyway.

    I’ve seen how fast toys can bring woman to climax its pretty amazing.

    Hitachi thats a beast!!

  172. KatPaw says:

    I’ll make sure not to blog any sex escapades I have lmao 😉

  173. Jersey Darling says:

    I swear this blog reminds me of just how vanilla I am.

    Random thought of the day: I just read a story about how a woman who had sexual escapades (some of which weren’t exactly legal) documented her adventures on a blog and it made it easier for police to apprehend her.

  174. littleonyx says:

    @onyx_percula: Wow, thanks! And I’ll add this to what you said: if you’re the only one grunting, and you’ve been on me (or under me) for precisely five minutes, do you actually think I’d cum in that amount of time? Now hey, with the Hitachi…? Maybe. But seriously? Needless to say, he and I didn’t get back together again.

    @SugarySpice: I’m with you there! Ping pong paddles, hairbrushes, spatulas, wooden spoons…all excellent instruments as well. Have a nice warming up before dinner, and then told to go without panties… Wow. Talk about reminders all night…and very pleasant ones! :-)

    (Note: That should’ve been “than” as opposed to “then” in my previous post–that sort of typo drives me nuts!!)

  175. SugarySpicey says:

    Onyx – bent over the bathroom counter, cold marble against the nipples, a couple+ good swift wacks, and a mirror to watch the show, one of my favorite memories.

  176. onyx_percula says:

    @ littleonyx — Welcome to the blog! A nice and funny addition. Talking about faking it. I never really got that. I mean if a man has a clue its not hard to tell if she came or not. Sure there are things a woman can fake, but there are somethings they can’t that are tell tale indications, like flushing spasms etc. And for those men that have great noses, the scent of a woman changes slightly after she climaxes.

    @ Spicey — Nothing at Ace Hardware that didn’t look like the start to a horror movie… now WalGreens did have a nice wide wooden brush with nice soft bristles. It worked great on her hair and ass. Oh how I love that little squirm after… we went to dinner at a place with hard rough wooden benches, she couldn’t sit still if her life depended on it, lol. Made for a nice warn up for later.

  177. littleonyx says:

    Oh, yeah…and as for the event…it certainly does seem like the Hollywood version of speed dating. I won’t say I wouldn’t love to go, though. 😉

  178. littleonyx says:

    @JerseyDarling: Yes, it IS interesting! I wonder if people think I’m one of those Nigerian scammers…?

    I’ll admit that I have a “thing” with rejection, so I’d rather be seen the way that I am, then to be all mysterious and have them walk away as soon as they see me.

    I mean, as far as age goes, I’m always told I don’t look my age. I’ll be 34 in 10 days, and I’m 4’10.5″ tall. C’mon now…elementary school kids are taller than me! I have no reason to lie about my age.

  179. sweetie says:

    Dorky, I doubt SA is thinking of that. The party seems like frou-frou hollywood wanna-be event. More like Hefner’s style ordeal. Oh, the glamour!
    Sounds like the cliche of SD/SB relationship promotion.

  180. DorkyGuy says:

    That makes a good case for a sugar-oriented introduction or speed dating service. Perhaps this is the exact issue SA is trying to tackle with their parties?

  181. sweetie says:

    That’s exactly the problem. People tend to make an image of the other person before they actually meet live. That’s why I don’t particularly care to build up any overwhelming emailing/texting/phone love story before the first meet. If it’s out of town, ok, maybe a bit of staying in touch, but I’d rather not get carried away with fantasies when I don’t even know if you are the persona you claim to be in our communications.

    I’m browsing profiles on SA and true, some pics don’t look the age the owners admit on their profiles. All I can think of is: Yeah, you look 40 my ass! I don’t know, my former bosses (men) were in their early 40s, and they looked pretty good. I guess it depends on genes.

  182. Jersey Darling says:

    @littleonyx, That’s very interesting! Isn’t it a shame how much people’s preconceived notions determine our worth?

    I think what you’ve described happens more online than in person. I’ve found I’m more likely to disregard someone online whereas if I met them in person in a context where I actually got to know them, I could actually be interested in them. Online, we are reduced to a few typed words and a photo (or none) and people conjure up an image of us. Much like having a book turned into a movie, when they see who you actually are they can be disappointed because you didn’t match their version of you.

  183. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Rugby World Cup just about to play. I adore watching rugby. Dont understand all the rules but love the sportmanship of it all. (Perhaps the thighs as well ) :-)
    Have it on my bucket list to go and see a live match.

  184. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Thank you KatPaw

  185. KatPaw says:

    Hi Lady V
    Yes I’m trying to sleep as much as permitted and fluids fluids fluids! Lol thank you!
    Oh bloggods please share my email with Lady Vuitton.

  186. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Hi KatPaw
    I hope you are feeling better soon x

  187. KatPaw says:

    Morning Sugars!
    Battling a cold from trick or treating with kids in the rain! Today I plan to OD on orange juice and Tylenol cold and sinus. Lol hope everyone else is having a lovely Saturday!

  188. littleonyx says:

    Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood morning, Vietn–

    …wait. Sorry, my bad.

    So, after a rather disturbing dream, I found myself unable to go back to sleep. Here I am, browsing the comments again, and I realized that I’d missed a few discussions earlier, which brought something to mind that I did at one time.

    The earlier discussion I’m referring to was about race and the preference of SDs. Being a chocolate woman myself, I wonder if that–in and of itself–has already made things difficult for me. Sure, there are some SDs that pull towards women of (darker) color, but there don’t seem to be many in my area (which was a little surprising, to be honest).

    I’ve been on sites before where I didn’t have a picture up, and gotten plenty of emails stating how cool I was, and how much they’d just love to hang out with me. I was told how awesome I sounded, and that I seemed like so much fun to be around because of my sense of humor, and my energy, and my passion for people and whatnot. Then, when I complied and sent a picture, the response was, “Oh…I didn’t know you were black.” Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…DONE. Conversation over, POT disappeared, end of story. I didn’t think that I somehow got boring, or my intelligence slipped a few notches, or I became hideous because of my skin, but I wondered. That’s happened to me more than once, by the way.

    So, I became curious about the way some people work. I majored in sociology and minored in psychology, so I opted to do some research. I purposely put up two profiles…one with a picture, and one without. The profiles were very similar in name, interests, and general information. They were identical in demographic information. Interestingly enough, I got more responses without a picture than I did with a picture posted. I mean, I know I’m not the prettiest woman in the world, but damn…LOL… It was truly fascinating for me. Oddly enough, the responses that I -did- get from men outside of my race almost IMMEDIATELY contained the words, “So…do you like white guys? I’ve never been with a black woman.” Now, was I lying when I chose to put a picture on one profile but not the other? Hhhmmm…

    I’ve had little success here so far, but maybe that’s because I’m new and haven’t really engaged like I normally do (the blogs, for example–I love forum discussions and the like). I’m working on it. So…I’m guessing my SD is out there somewhere. It’s worth waiting for, I suppose. It is what it is. Until then, I’ll just enjoy the blogs and the lively retorts. Cheers!

  189. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Morning All :-)


  190. Jersey Darling says:

    Not yet. Next month should be the month and I’m beyond excited 😀

  191. DarkHorseSD says:

    Jersey, did you move yet?

  192. Jersey Darling says:

    @Dorky – you just described what I think is going to be my new signature look!

    Lol, not joking (minus the slut part). I rocked deep red lipstick and cat eyes today and loved it. Think I’ll do it more often.

  193. FatBastardSD says:

    @Dorky Guy,

    Ha, jokes on you. I am a Turing test program designed to interact with the assholes on this blog. I have no mama.

  194. SugarySpicey says:

    Dorky you nasty slut shamer! Now you’ll have to be paddled with Onyx’s hair brush.

  195. DorkyGuy says:

    @FB~ I can degrade to momma in one word… son

  196. DorkyGuy says:

    ^^^^not intentionally meant to be degrading… Read it after i posted, and realized it sounds awful close to slut shaming. Just overworked, low on sleep, and not entirely with it.

  197. Zack says:

    @ss Would get you the dates you deserve, sugar.



  198. flyr says:

    lilonyx – very funny

    If the neighbors don’t know it was probably not that great

  199. FatBastardSD says:

    Fucking Awsome!

    Yo mama fight!

    Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

  200. DorkyGuy says:

    Women over think makeup. You can use makeup to attract men with much less effort and much more effectively using a simple trick.

    Instead of taking hours to get it all perfect, just buy a nice tube of red lipstick, and write the word “easy” on your forehead.

    Men already do this. Buying a nice car is the male equivalent of writing the word “rich” on his forehead without the expense of lipstick or the daily hassle.

  201. SugarySpicey says:

    Yes, Zack I need a drag queen’s assistance to capture the truly trashy countenance I’m going for, your mother.

  202. Zack says:

    Let me guess, you’re trying to look like a woman?

  203. littleonyx says:

    Maybe I’m just naive, but, what’s the -point- of lying about age, income, marital status or looks? If two people are hitting it off based on lies, what happens when they finally meet?

    I post pictures. Plenty of them (and I intend to post more). I openly put my marital status, and don’t mind answering questions about myself. I like to update my pictures so that I can be seen for how I look at the present moment, and perhaps a month or so back. I understand that people may not be as open and forward as I can be, but why lie about something that could be so very obvious (unless they’re carrying on a LDR and just text and email, or exchange pics without any kind of meetings or live-feed interactions)?

    My biggest lie? “Yes, I came.” I mean, honestly…if you can’t tell that I didn’t clench around your piece even one time, I’m as dry as the sand of the Sahara, and I haven’t so much as whispered my pleasure, do you REALLY have to ask me–bluntly and to my face–“So…did you cum?”

    Sorry…I’m babbling now.

  204. SugarySpicey says:

    I’m looking for a drag queen, it would be great to have someone who could help with my makeup.

  205. DorkyGuy says:

    How could we forget “drama queen”?

  206. Zack says:

    @K: “Zack, I’ll get right on that…” works for me 😛

    But now I’m going to have Queen in my head for a while. And Moet. Maybe bicycles… And Flash Gordon, oh my, lol…

  207. Jersey Darling says:

    I can’t think of a lie I’ve told while sugar dating, except maybe my name – I used to start with a different first name, now I no longer do. And I use a number that isn’t my own for most pot SDs.

    Re: height/weight proportionate, I’m “thick” and hourglass-shapely and have found it drives most men wild. I’ve had success in arrangements with very little effort. Anything can be had if you can identify your target audience and learn how to attract them to you.

    It helps to be self aware and know your strengths and weaknesses.

  208. DorkyGuy says:

    “The queen of my castle.” ~sweetie

    oh, that’s easy then. His castle is a fort made of empty shoe boxes!

  209. Beach_Girl says:

    FBSD~ lol… right :( I like more expensive shoes than Athlete’s Footware….

  210. FatBastardSD says:

    Combine Killer Queen and Fat Bottom Girls and you can understand why I like Queen Latifah.

  211. FatBastardSD says:

    @Beach Girl

    I liked you profile except there was a lot of discussion about shoes, even for a guy who works at Althlete’s Foot. :-).

  212. Beach_Girl says:

    lol Now I have those songs in my head lol…
    why not Queen bee or Killer Queen…

  213. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!

    FBSD~ that’s why you didn’t like my profile lol 😛

  214. Jessie says:

    It’s so obvious when an SD is lying about his age if they have picture sup. Especially those that are over 40 but put mid 30s. You can tell when pictures are older as quality is not as good. I personally think lying about 4 years isn’t a big deal, but I’ve seen and messaged with few that take off like 10 years. This SD Randy: profile 773024 is on other sites with different ages and his age hasn’t changed on this site for the past 3 years. I wish SDs were more honest :(

  215. SugarySpicey says:

    Sweetie, blogging about it now.

    Regarding onyx and the pussy man, imghttp://sugarmytips.wordpress.com//?s=Men+sex+fashion&search=Go

  216. sweetie says:

    Dorky “What kind of queen are you looking for? A dancing queen? A flaming queen? A royal queen?”

    The queen of my castle.

  217. onyx_percula says:

    @ KmaSB — Look on Spicey’s blog for her definitions of men, I am a “pussy” man. So her thighs are just framing the subject of my attention really.

  218. sweetie says:

    Sugary, spill the beans about your drink with the SD, don’t keep us in suspense!

    Fatty on Queen Latifah, hahahaha!

  219. Zack says:

    @ spicey, Is it true that “Give birth to a bastard.” Is a precedent to “Break a leg?”


  220. FatBastardSD says:

    @Dorky Guy

    Queen Latifah will do.

  221. DorkyGuy says:

    “I am a busy man and need to minimize time spent searching for my next queen.”

    What kind of queen are you looking for? A dancing queen? A flaming queen? A royal queen?

  222. SugarySpicey says:

    Onyx – a hairbrush makes for a delightful paddle!

  223. FatBastardSD says:

    I expect a SB profile to be accurate! Age, height, figure, pictures should all be current and legit. Nudes photos should be provided (preferable taken showing a ruler to accurately judge measurements), as well as pictures demonstrating sexual skills. Any SB family/work/school situation should also be openly described in the profile because it may effect my enjoyment of the arrangement.
    I am a busy man and need to minimize time spent searching for my next queen.

    I know SB’s feel the same way about profile accuracy, which is why I am happy to provide my name, address and complete financial information prior to meeting. If a SB is taking 10s out of her busy day to write “Hey…” in a email message, it is the least I should do. I was even considering sending SB’s an online gift to compensate them for lost email time that could be better spent on facebook.

    Men like women. Women = drama => Men like drama.

  224. ss1959 says:

    I’m shocked so many people lie about their age, or anything else, on SA. To me one of the best things about this is that I don’t have to pretend to be anything I’m not.

  225. KmaSB says:

    Sure Zack, I’ll get right on that :-/

  226. Zack says:

    @Kma: eh, hey, sugar, post me an avatar shot of you doggy style and see what you get….
    Or maybe you should try something like that on a smaller scale first? shrug.

    op: ick. gonna have to flip that 180…could be worse, since its an easy adjustment to understand, lol. See if she would like to just be entirely passive for an evening…totally receptive to being nothing except as you instruct, should you need.

  227. KmaSB says:

    Hmm, so guys do not mind bigger thighs? Even when I’m terribly skinny I can never get rid of those…thought about getting next sugardaddy to ,maybe, lipo them away, finally..but, if some men call them the most peaceful place on earth….

  228. onyx_percula says:

    @ Zack — More like tell her exactly what to do, from what to wear to what she is going to eat to what she is going to do behind closed doors. “If I want something I will let you know, otherwise you tell me what”…

    @ KmaSB — Almost forgot, I used to call her upper tights my ear muffs or the most peaceful place on earth. We doubled with her BFF one night… So where are you two off to? The most peaceful place on earth. Can I come too? Sure… NO! (smack up side the head). For being as dark as she is, she sure has some delightful blushing.

  229. DorkyGuy says:

    Re: men, women, drama, and insanity… I know both women and men who are prone to drama. And I don’t know anyone at all that isn’t vulnerable to occasional insanity. If you aren’t human enough to be insane once in a while, then you are nuts. The trick is to manage the insanity, so people don’t see it in large doses.

  230. Zack says:

    Op…would you call that a “sweet spot?” but, gently, Sir?

    you’re kinda missing a point…If you try to suade SB#1 through intellectual bullying, you’re both going to fry…she’s passive aggressive, I’d think, but I’m no psychologist.

    You gotta chill and actually hear something she’s been trying to say for a long time, then talk to her about that…then assume that and talk more, from the heart.

  231. onyx_percula says:

    @ KmaSB — I don’t know. But tomorrow night starts something new for us. She is more of a control me sub and less of a spank me punish me sub… but you never know where things go.

    Oh, too funny, my old SB#1… I told her about SB#1’s revelations… guess who else is sub too, and MUCH more so than the current #1… It was politely suggested I get a paddle in the next 45 mins, she was a bad girl last night. Hmmm wonder if Ace Hardware has something… they are right along the way there.

  232. KmaSB says:

    Onyx- I have that top of the thigh thing too…it is so annoying. Are you taking your SB#1 to the, ‘Fifty Shades of Gray’ movie, when it comes out? Buy her the book…hehe, I heard those books were horribly written, though…

  233. KmaSB says:

    Sorry, but my auto and grammar correct…is rarely correct! I have to go through twice and fix things, so sorry if my posts make me sound mildly incapacitated ):

  234. KmaSB says:

    Good luck, SS..geesh, my autocorrect!

  235. KmaSB says:

    Oh okay..good lunch SS

    Flyr, thanks for the tip! Yeah, I totally get what you are saying…I do not do it to be deceitful, but just street smart. Of course there are those that I have disclosed private things about my life more quickly too, but I had a good vibe from them. The guy from yesterday wasn’t a predator(I don’t think) but think he got his khakis in a wad bc he thought I was lying to him about everything, and this started asking questions about, where I lived again, my job..ect..in order to try and catch me lying? Not sure why he cared as he just ended up telling me I was too old for him to justify ‘paying’ for, but he, would date a woman my age for free…lol.

  236. onyx_percula says:

    @ KmaSB — Height really only matters on the extreme ends of the population or when a SD is towards those ends. A guy 6’7″ is less likely to want a 4’10” SB. Also being shorter for a woman is a evolutionary thing for men and woman. So at 5’8″ and 150# you should be good to go for most. The last girl I fell for is 5’8″ and 165# but the only place she had any “extra” was the top of her thighs.

    @ ABC — What you are talking age wise is exactly what I commented about this AM here. I am 49 and have woman in their 20s to 50s approach me in everyday life. We are all guilty of making blanket “weeding” out of potentials based on age. But I honestly think when we do that we are cheating ourselves out of a possible chance at fun and happiness.

    @ Spicey — YES!!!!!!! Rock their world girl!

    For those that have read much of what I have posted in the last couple of months… Okay I am 100% sure the universe has decided that a Dom/sub dynamic is what I need… SB#1 today got upset because I asked too many questions about the planning of our date at the ballet tomorrow… Then I hear a story about the SD she was with last. Without TMI lets just she my SB#1 is a submissive through and through. Now if I could just convince her of it… drama shall ensue…

  237. flyr says:

    @Kma – “I gave him a city name 5 or 10 minutes from where I actually live. He made a big deal about it.”

    For whatever reason, using a different name and city worked out great for you. If an SD is upset about this he’s not someone you want to be sharing a bed with. Of course we don’t deserve to know your real name and city just because we went to the effort to click, send email or even invite you to coffee. You have a well founded reason to maintain some privacy.

    The good news is that you found out early. Someone who is upset over that is responding to another problem or another program for you. … RUN and smile at your good fortune. Predators are great at turning people into willing victims with their manipulation.

    An additional note – never post a picture here that might have been used anywhere else.

  238. ABC says:

    Hi KmaSB,

    I just don’t get turned on by younger men. It’s not really a choice or because I think it’s better :-) . Only in two situations I could never get it on with an older man: one if he actually resembles my father :-) and two if he has the same first name. That would be so messed up in the bed room, I just wouldn’t be able to 😀
    Really I’m looking in a man for everything my father was not. Tall, big, succesfull, sweet, caring, respectfull. IEUW, major daddy-issues here 😀

  239. SugarySpicey says:

    KMA, click on my name, then choose Pirate from my “men” list. He was an SD turned BF turned asshat! Grrrrr!

    Drinks with a very promising SD in 5 mins. Wish me luck!! :)

  240. KmaSB says:

    SS, who is the Pirate? Is this your SD, I will presume?

  241. KmaSB says:

    Hmm, ABC…I like having arrangements with men my own age or a wee but younger. Why not? If they are successful and intelligent, then age doesn’t matter to me. I had a better experience, last year, with my sugardaddy who was a couple years younger. He made less money than the much older one, but he was much more giving..and looked at me more as an ‘equal’ instead of just ‘fun’. But, that was just my experience. I accept all ages, except getting close to my actual father’ age….

  242. ABC says:

    I don’t understand why people lie about their age. I’m 30 and (especially when I’m not dressed up) I look like a 20-year old. I could easily mention on my profile that I’m 21. But why would I want to do that? I really, really don’t want to date men who want to go out with a 20 year old. I want to go out with men who want to date grown up women over 28.
    Same for men. I prefer a man between 45 and 55. Don’t lie about your age please. I want a sugarDADDY not a sugarbrother. If I get an email from a 39 year old, I think, OMG he’s so young, really to young to be my daddy:-) That’s why I’m on this website. Because I’m turned on by mature, experienced men, also with the body of a grown up, not that one of a boy. Once I’ve had a date with a 63 year old that had lied about his age (53!) though. Then his feelings were hurt because I wasn’t interested. His own fault. It’s sugarDADDY not sugarGRANDDADDY :-p

  243. Zack says:

    @aa, Kali-ma, et al, yeah, it’s his fault. pft.

    wine, mmm…

    Damn, I;m really a lot more interested in you than the book, but shrug. Everyone wants something or they’d be doing something else. (3’s a start)

    ss, when did you learn not to promote your own interests on someon Elsie’s 2c?

    SeekingArrangement.com © 2013 Sugar Daddy blog.

  244. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Hi Beach Girl

    Keep up the good work. Hope you have a fab weekend and lots of fun.

  245. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars! 😀

    Frank~ 😀 How have you been?

    Thank you NC, Dorky, Dashel, & Frank it wasn’t hard to stop, the hardest was some days I wanted to smoke, but after a few, it was gone… I had a craving not long ago, when having lots of wine. I don’t intend to start again! I will need a SD to help change my cravings lol 😛

  246. SugarySpicey says:

    KMA – but! If we pulled the nonsense they try to get away with, there would be no end to their drama! The pirate threw out significantly more drama than I did, I just never talked about it. Men are just as dramatic.

  247. KmaSB says:

    Well, sometime, but in my son’s case, he just does not want to hear it..he starts listening to music. I have learned a bit, since raising a boy….

    But yes, SS, when it is your boyfriend or significant other, they are usually just trying to tell you to leave them alone, so they can continue the asshat behaviour, by throwing out the nagging/ drama guilt trip/card on you, so you will, ‘hush’..lol

  248. SugarySpicey says:

    Zack, et all – the book isn’t about porn. It’s fiction, it’s very sexy (so some people call it porn), one of the dominant characters is an SB, and it had started to gain momentum (under a pseudonym) when my boss found out he said it was the book, or my job. So, I stopped promoting and went quiet. Now that I had to leave that job anyway, I’m going to promote the hell out of it – in my free time.

    Men are ridiculous about “drama” when they say they don’t like drama what they’re saying is, “I want to be a complete asshat and have you out up with it.” I was NOT particularly dramatic with the pirate considering he asked me to move to indonesia to be with him then pulled all sorts of nonsense.

    Zack is crazy, Or a troll, Or not a native English speaker, or all three+.

  249. KatPaw says:

    Kma I’m rather new to the blog as well it is a great source of help info and opinions! It’s always nice to “see” new faces. Lol

  250. KmaSB says:

    KatPaw..he is a man….most of them hate drama…I have a 15 year old son, so he rolls his eyes and runs as fast as he can, when my female friends and I start our ‘talks’..hehe

    People on this blog are really nice and informative, actually (: Thank you all for being so nice.

    I like SS, then. She seems interesting and gives good advice. Her book about porn? I am interested..tell me more…

  251. KatPaw says:

    Kma we all have long posts at times. Don’t mind Zack he’s a good cookie even if not always understood. 😉 SS is shortening Sugary Spices also SuSp lol

  252. KmaSB says:

    Was a *one time deal*

  253. KmaSB says:

    What is SS? I can’t talk about these experiences with friends, lol…they do not know I’m on SA. I don’t think I gave too much info….it’s not like I’ll be doing it all the time. It was alone time deal, as I was upset…I’m not going to be posting long posts like that all the time….don’t be so hard on me 😉

  254. JazzySB says:

    Zack, are you crazy? I come here entirely for the comments. I’m completely enthralled in Sugary’s drama. She probably has another book in her just about the aftermath of The Pirate. Also, I don’t know about other SBs, but I can’t discuss my sugar life with my friends so this blog is like my weird support group.

  255. JazzySB says:

    NC- Are you sure those statistics are correct? I have to say that I’m having a lot more success than I anticipated and I’m not the ideal SB. Hmmm.

    Loyal- Hang in there girl. I’m still pretty new, but I believe that it is harder for women of color in the sugarbowl (IMO). However, I have seen some SD profiles that state in the headline that they’re looking for an african-american princess to spoil. So your niche group of SDs are out there.

  256. Zack says:

    Eh, yeah, tmi. There are so many details implied that I’d sound crazy to start asking questions.

    I would say in addition above, that when I first joined SA and started emailing on the site, it seemed like I could go back and read most of my emails like I was talking to myself. At least that impression of self analysis helped me grow, I think.

    SS has drama issues, but there’s a lot of great heart there, too. I’d think you should bounce your detailed worries around with friends (here is fine, sugar :) or journal or something. Maybe flirt, idk…but SS may be a good start until you realize what you need for your heart…

    wrt staying on topic, I like how the topic sparked a conversation that led us to talking, shallow as it initially seemed, 😛

  257. KmaSB says:

    You’re right Jazzy..that is a good idea. I’ll take a chubby pic of myself (: PMS will be here soon, so perfect timing.

  258. JazzySB says:

    Wow, don’t log on for a day and it’s like reading a novella!
    Congrats Sugary! I knew you had it, your instincts always seem like they are dead on. Great job negotiating for what you want!
    Regarding lies, I shave one year off on my profile. I give a fake name (I like to call it my pseudonym) and an email with said fake name.
    I come clean about my name either right away during texts if I feel comfortable or during a meet. I have good reason though, my name is extremely unique, so it’s for ananonymity. My age however is not fudged for ananonymity but for vanity. It’s the difference between being 29 and 30, I have decided that I’m going to turn 29 a few times before I enter my 30’s.
    I actually select pictures that I’m about fifteen lbs heavier in, I like men to be pleasantly surprised when they see me. It’s always a great reaction when I look better in person.

  259. NC Gent says:

    Hey Flyr – I don’t think we are disagreeing with each other this time either :) By premium member, I mean the most basic package that allows an SD to send and receive emails. I don’t mean a diamond or verified SD.

  260. KmaSB says:

    Hi Zack (:

    I think I was pretty honest with him(except for shaving four years off my age, but I look younger than 4 years, so maybe that wasn’t a huge deal. He got irritated bc I spelled my name a little different on my profile(for security reasons) and kept asking questions about what city I really lived in and where I worked. Which, to me, is a bit personal, the first time you meet. He is the one that wanted to negotiate terms before we even met, and said he was ‘sure’ of me. I did not apparently meet his expectations, but he did not meet mine either…I just don’t understand why anyone would want to tell someone all that personal information, before they even met. From now on, I will say, in regards to where I work and exactly where I live, “I really don’t share personal information like that until I get to know someone.” Is that bad? I’ve had stalker types before, so I am paranoid, I suppose. It’s not about hiding things and being dishonest, as he said…but more about protecting myself until I felt I could trust someone. I do not want someone contacting my workplace, I guess….however, my shaving off a few years from my age was not upfront or honest. But, I did tell him as soon as we met(partially, because I knew it would turn him off, anyway..lol). He kept talking about 20 something’s, so good for him, he should go do that.

    I gave him a city name 5 or 10 minutes from where I actually live. He made a big deal about it. Does anyone on the internet have a right to know here you work and exactly where you live? I do not think so- not at first, anyway. But, I understand how that might make me look like I am trying to be secretive. Anyway, not sure why he even cared to ask, since I am an old hag, hehe.

  261. flyr says:

    I seldom disagree with NC but I think a carefully written profile, targeting your prime SD or SB is far more valuable that being a special member. It’s all about marketing.

  262. Zack says:

    Yeah, sure :)


  263. KmaSB says:


    Was that @k directed at me?

  264. Zack says:

    @ss: I’m not interested in your book atm, but I am interested that you wrote a book.
    re: royalties. Would you consider that a launch failure, a design problem, or a general failure of intelligence? also

    If I’m still counting 6 mos after I quit, I’m going to lose.

    @K: I’m feeling a lot of yellow flags just from your posts that make me feel a) there are miscommunication issues in your negotiation that Showed up More in your face to face; and b) half of that’s in you. Relax, it might be a long trip, lol…if you click with SS, that’s probably about right 4 now.

    re: shaving. some things are expected from SB, like vitality. SD might see shaving a few years as inconsequential b/c it is not important for them. I see it differently, but that’s just me.

    @gtt: any problems getting the CC? how about other ID?

    @loyal: Darker, lighter or any other skin intrigues me, and I’d like to appreciate the exotic. But I’m new. :) also, it is a numbers game to some extent and you are a substitutible commodity. Unless you show facets that make you exceptional…but that’s true of most “success stories.”

  265. SugarySpicey says:

    Definitely KMA, you can post your profile # here and a bunch of people will weigh in, or post it to me privately through: http://sugarmytips.wordpress.com/reloading/

  266. KmaSB says:

    Thank you, NCGent. That is kind of you to say…

  267. NC Gent says:

    KmaSB — I did read what happened to you. Sorry the guy was such a douchebag. He probably hates himself so he needs to try to make other people feel badly to make himself feel better. I hope you find someone great soon :)

  268. KmaSB says:

    Oops NCGent, I haven’t weighed myself in awhile, apparently…am 150. I’m a 34b, and am pear shaped as I have a bigger rounder bum and thighs. I usually like foreign men, though, so they are into rounder type women…I think?

    SugarySpicey….do ever give feedback on a SB SA profile?

  269. NC Gent says:

    SS – I agree with you that setting up a profile requires almost no effort, but that is true for both an SB and an SD. I think if one looks at the number of SDs that have premium profiles, which to me says they are seriously looking, then the SD:SB ratio is even worse. I get what you are saying though. Also, I think you highlighted a huge problem on SA — the pervey and-or John “SDs” quickly scare off a number of potentially legitimate SBs.

  270. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    “Stay steady, develop a clever, casual, well-written email persona, and be patient.” Totally agree Sugaryspicey

    mmmm all this talk about ages, maybe I should take a few years off my age. Better to be honest me thinks.

    Happy November everyone and Friday ! :-)

  271. KmaSB says:

    SugarySpicey congrats on your dream job. It is always great to hear someone getting that job they always wanted (:

  272. KmaSB says:

    Thanks NCGent..but that success was last year..hehe, read earlier in the thread where I bared my humiliating date last night(if you do not get bored from long posts) where the man(who looked older than he stated, not as attractive as pics…) told me that after we met, he came to realize that I am too old for him, in my 30’s, and he cannot see paying a 30 something, when he wants a 20 something…so, no luck yet this year. I’ve been on about two weeks, though.

    Your statistics make sense, though. And SugarySpiceys, in that for every 10 SD, there might be 9 fakes, so that makes finding a SD even tougher, huh?

  273. SugarySpicey says:

    Negotiating worked! They accepted my offer. Start the dream job in a couple of weeks.

  274. SugarySpicey says:

    I think the 10:1 odds that SA posted are completely incorrect. Because setting up a profile requires nothing from the SB, a large # of women being counted in their odds are not actually seeking anything at all. It’s a better odds game than Match, but not as screwed in favor of the SD as some men like to believe. That said, a HUGE number of SDs have no interest in actually being SDs – they want to be boyfriends.

  275. NC Gent says:

    From a statistical viewpoint, if there are 10 SBs for every SD, APPROXIMATELY 9 out of 10 SBs will never find an SD. I recognize that some SDs have more than one SB, but there are also some SBs that have more than one SD. I recognize that some SBs give up after a short time, but there are also some SDs that give up without ever finding an SB. Of course, the longer you look (the more patient you are), the higher the odds of an SB finding an SD. I don’t have any data to prove it, but I strongly believe that if you are physically fit, your chances of obtaining sugar are better, for both SDs and SBs. Then again, we all know what they say about statistics and lies. I didn’t say that 9 out of 10 SBs will never find an SD to get anyone upset, but I think it is good for SBs to get a honest opinion on the odds because I think the blog posts have historically painted a rosier picture for SBs.

    @KmaSB — I obviously haven’t seen pictures of you, but at 5’9″ and 140 pounds I would think you are HWP. I think mainstream media definitely influences people’s perception of beauty. When I was in Brazil last year, I noticed most of the public advertising displays of women used much curvier women than in the U.S. I actually found it refreshing to see healthy women in the advertising media. Also, congrats on your sugar success :)

  276. Dashel says:

    I think NC Gent was just saying based on the 10:1 ration of women to men it’s an uphill battle for SB’s. Then again you have SD’s with multiple SB’s or serial short term arrangements.

    As for attraction I dont think it’s culture and media. There’s science and evolution behind it. Things like facial symmetry. Waist hip ratio in women is a good indicator of how well you can handle offspring, Generally speaking you want a healthy partner, so back when a bit of extra fat on you was indicative of wealth and prosperity that was considered attractive. Now the reverse is true and there is a general preference for relatively lean and “fit”. You want to project health and fertility. Scientifically speaking.

  277. SugarySpicey says:

    IMO these claims about SA odds are wrong and screwed. 9 out of 10 SBs won’t find an SD because they get scared away by the Johns and the perves. Stay steady, develop a clever, casual, well-written email persona, and be patient.

  278. KmaSB says:


    Really? Nine out of ten? I found three last year…and I am not that great looking…I am 5’9”, though. Does height make a difference on SA? I was thinking probably not, but i am not a man. I am about 140 but have a waist and think I am height weight proportionate. I used to teach spinning and aerobics years ago, so was super lean and skinny skinny. I am a little rounder and softer now, but some guys are into that. I gained my weight, when I lived in London, for a short time. Many men told me there that I was ‘too skinny’ and the Brits and Spanish men do not care for the Hollywood skinny standard there. He was right…women in the UK were rounder with bigger KKardashian type bodies and just a softer look. I understand this isn’t true is some other parts of Europe, however. I guess it comes down to personal preference, culture and what the ‘mainstream’ media likes in your region. Do you agree?

  279. DorkyGuy says:

    @frank~ I agree… Beach Girl quitting smoking is the most important and impressive event on the blog in quite a while. I know folks who have quit dozens of times, and never made it six months, and are utterly defeated by the habit. Hats off to Beach Girl… very cool!

  280. frank says:

    Hi every body!

    Trying to catch up on the blog.

    Congrats to Beach girl, as a former smoker I can tell you have the habit licked after 6 months. Just know, and tell yourself if you are ever tempted that you cannot just smoke one cig, you will be starting up all over again.

  281. NC Gent says:

    My finding are similar to Dashel’s…. my guy friends have widely varying opinions on what they find hot. The one commonality… they all want women that are at least height-weight proportionate (not overweight)….some of us like thin, some like athletic, some like a little curvier (but still not fat)…. if you maintain a healthy weight, your chances go up…. but even considering all of that, remember from a purely statistical viewpoint, about 9 out of 10 SBs will never find an SD.

  282. flyr says:

    Loyal To The Boss Lady – Your post is similar to one posted here about every 6 months. Mostly very similar wording. Unfortunately you missed the very sage words and attitude of a former contributor who was also AA. She had an entirely different experience, most likely nurtured by a different attitude. She was an entrepreneur, well educated, positive and probably would have been a fighter pilot if they took women in her younger years, yes she was well over 30. I have helped a number of other AA women with their profiles and several have done well here.

    Having said all that yes there are challenges, as someone noted mixed race raises the level of attention and many want to avoid that. Some are undoubtedly prejudiced. But prejudice comes in many forms – profiles demand multi millionaire SD’s , over 6′, under 35, no zealots who believe in religion, blue eyes, not married, willing sub, take me , must take me traveling first class, no conservative zealots, no drinkers, don’t expect sex . But within all that static there’s thousands of truly unique and wonderful women.

    Playing to win is sexy, whining is not….. especially in the sugar bowl.

  283. SugarySpicey says:

    Flyr – the post says I’ve decided?

  284. Dashel says:

    Spicy Spice: Yes present company excluded. I could run some tests to verify though if you’re ever in the neighborhood.

  285. Dashel says:

    @loyaltotheboss Only SB I have ever been serious with happens to be Indian, so she’s a bit on the darker complexion. She actually commented once that she was the only “non white person” at a restaurant I took her to. Beyond that the only black girl I met with we had no chemistry just like other girls of various ethnic backgrounds.

    Hot is hot. Some people have different perspectives on what’s attractive of course. Detailed discussions of female anatomy and physical appearance with my male compatriots have revealed a wide disparity on what constitutes “smokin”. But there are many areas of agreement too. Skin color is never a factor, however there are generalizations you find within certain ethnic groups. Who tends to have flat butts, round butts, too big, too small, etc.

    I should also point out I happen to live in an area where I would say almost half the married couples are bi-racial. At least on my block. So I have a different perspective. I dont see the big deal. I’m sure it’s still a thing for some people to deal with.

  286. flyr says:

    @Spicey – the post says you have decided.

  287. SugarySpicey says:

    As for me, heading to Vegas this weekend, trying to decide if I want to meet up with an SD for a fun night on the town.

  288. NC Gent says:

    age and lying….. interesting…. some SBs under 21 will add some years… I met an SB whose profile said 24 and she was really only 19 which was a dealkiller for me. I think most SBs in the 21 to 29 age range tend to provide their real age (within a year or two to preserve anonymity) I think that SBs in their 30s tend to shave about 5 to 10%, and it is open season for the 40+ crowd as I have seen as much as 17 years shaved (ughhhh). I know from here that SDs shave some years too… my last profile I had up shaved 8 percent. Ever notice how there is a significant blip in profiles with the age 29 and 39??!!!

    I tend to understate my income and net worth, because I really don’t think it is anyone’s right to know as long as I can afford an SB.

    I found a ton of misrepresentation on looks, but during the end of my last search employed a new approach. I started mentioning, “we should skype before we meet just to make sure we don’t waste each other’s time.” Just by the reaction to that, it became very evident who was misrepresenting their appearance. I was 2-2 meeting people looking like their profile pics after that approach.

  289. SugarySpicey says:

    Boss Lady – men have types, and usually their types were formed when they were 14. If they didn’t have exposure to sexy AA women when they were younger the thought of going black now can just feel to foreign to them. Additionally, a man who is trying to be discreet might feel that an AA SB would draw too much attention to the two of them.

    There are SDs who like chocolate and some who prefer it, he’s out there. Sugar dating is a numbers game. Eventually, you’ll find the guy who does like a dark skinned woman, just as a curvy SB might take a little longer to find an SD, or a woman over 40 – until then, be smart, be patient, keep working on your profile, and make sure your pics are perfect.

  290. onyx_percula says:

    @ LoyalToTheBoss — I can only speak for myself… Personally I am rarely attracted to ladies that would be called “black”. It’s not a racists thing, I simply am not attracted. The very few times I have been attracted she was my polar opposite, not attracted to white men, lol.

    The last girl I fell for is “white” but has some unknown heritage that makes her pretty dark. When she is tanned she could easily pass for a light skinned african american, she doesn’t get so much brown as she gets gray/black tones. Honestly she is at least for me the sexiest woman I have met in decades.

  291. onyx_percula says:

    Ref: Men lying about their age… I’m 49 and put it on my profiles. Many SB simply look at the age listed and make a yes/no choice because of some pre decided choice based on someone they know… often it’s “no one as old(er) than my (grand)father”. I figure if she is so fixed and closed minded she is really not someone I want to spend much time with…

    There is a local SB on SA that list’s her age as 19, if she is under 25 I would be shocked.

  292. I just wonder, if sugar daddies are NOT attracted to women with a dark complexion? OR just afraid of interracial dating? i thought it 2013 … i thought racism was old!!!
    Not the spray tan girls , I mean dark skinned women of whatever race I am sure guys have their specifications in what he may find attractive, or what he may want, at the time.

    It has been my experience,that women of my complexion have fewer success stories, with me being on the darker side of things, i have seen that this, IS, in fact true, I would love to hear from someone, who agrees, has experinced the hesitation or just has a comment to my question, well back to my search, thanks for reading.


  293. gtt_envy says:

    I don’t divulge details.

    My city is incorrect by 50 miles, my age is off by 2 years, my last name is wrong, I have a fake id showing that last name, a credit card with that last name, I never bring personal vehicles around them, book hotels with said name, the thought of a 21 yr old knocking on my door is DEVASTATING to me. How would I explain that if I had my 17yr old son or 11yr old daughter with me?

    Even though I’ve felt pretty close to SB’s in the past we talk daily and about everything. I could never divulge the details you just never know when the crazy will come out.

    I always do long distance minimum of two hours away preferable farther!

    Other than the details I’m pretty Honest lol :) and Treasured and SS just confirmed yet again my belief about Sex between SD’s and SB’s………..lol.

    Regardless of what we want t believe they fake it until the cows come home! They know how to play the game!

  294. SugarySpicey says:

    Dashy – present vaginas excluded of course, mine keeps getting better. 😉

    There is a psychology to the way men view age and it is important you keep yourself in the right “age bracket”. 35 can be 33 to preserve anonymity, but NOT 29 – which changes the bracket. My only exception to bracket switching is that 41 can say 39. 45 cannot.

  295. Dashel says:

    Hi Sweetie!

    THANK you Spicy Spice! …. Wait a minute… *narrows eyes*

    Things are going very well Beach Girl! Congrats on kicking the cigs.

    Lying about ages is something that comes up but I never really care unless you misrepresent how you look. I get that everyone will pick the more flattering pictures, myself included, but there are clear lines you shouldnt cross. I’m sure there is some sort of psychological impact of 29 as opposed to 30, or 39/40, 49/50. I think the men do this often, since more than one person I’ve met said they have run into that a lot and seem almost surprised that I look like my pictures hah.

    Now having said that, for women it’s a more serious offense if you believe what Patrice O’Neal has to say on the subject; Vagina is a depreciating asset:


    Therefore misrepresentation could be considered a breach of contract.

  296. flyr says:

    Surprising the question of “am I your only SD ” has not been raised.

    Also I see a lot of ads that read something like I have never done anything like this before …….. followed a few paragraphs later with a discussion of what’s on the table etc that makes it pretty clear the writer is very familiar with the process.

    Age – we all age at different rates physically emotionally and sensually . From what I see here and in Hollyweird there are a lot of men who are obsessed with thought of having a 17 year old (or looking that age) woman on their arm. My personal thought is that too many women here are overly self conscious about their mid 30’s or older age and are forgetting that it’s not the quantity of SD’s who are interested, but rather those with the ability and proclivity to invest. Speaking of investments, few guys die wishing they had saved more and invested less in their passions and fantasies.

  297. becky says:

    Lets get real its not only the women that tell lies to get what they want. There are plenty of charmers out there that are nothing but cads.

  298. KatPaw says:

    @Treasured it’s great seeing your words of wisdom!

  299. KatPaw says:

    @Kma lol I once has a SD that I was emailing back and forth till he got to the point of ” I can’t see paying to have an affair with a 30’s married woman” oh well his loss and no responses back from me after that.
    I truthfully see no reason to lie.. Lies cause nothing but trouble. I’m proud of who I am. I see no reason to lie.

  300. Treasured says:

    Shaving off any amount of years for SB is tragic.
    As I have been told, when it gets discovered by a SD, he tends to think – what else have you lied me about?
    I don’t see the point of “small” lies. If you lie “small”, you will never be able to pull off something really important, for example “I REALLY need this new Chanel bag! :D”

    As for SDs…. I would say, 60% over the age of 40 lie. And about 99.9% over the age of 60.

    Re lying about the big O… For me worked quite the opposite… If asked, “Am I the best”, I used to say “Well….. You are amazing… But… Well, in top 5”.
    You should see the reactions. Every competitive male wants to be the best. So the efforts go x10 up. There is no limit to perfection 😀

  301. DarkHorseSD says:

    As far as men: yes! They shave 10 years all the time.

  302. KmaSB says:


    20 years older than she says and doesn’t like Jews…hmm, she doesn’t sound like a quality woman, then.

    I know..I did not thing 4 years was a huge deal, but I will take SugarySpiceys advice. I just assumed a lot of people, both men and women, shaved a little off the age thing.

  303. KmaSB says:

    Ah, I will take your advice, SugarySpicey. Thank you for that…see, originally, I had put my real name(well, spelled a little different, but my real name, as my user name). I thought, hmm..maybe, I should not put my real name, so I changed it a couple days later. Anyway, I changed it to Dégagé, which is French and I thought had a cool meaning. He made it clear that he noticed that today…he said, ‘what is that weird name you named yourself’ and asked why I changed it. I told him it was French. He also kept asking about my job today, and where I lived over and over(I felt like he kept trying to catch me in lies..maybe, bc of my profile name change). Weird Schtick–yes, or maybe I do look older in-person, but you make a point about the high school thing…you never know about people.

    One final point about the strange guy..he told me his 28 year old arrangement from last year..well, she did not require an allowance and only wanted to be treated well. This sounded a little fishy to me…sorry, I will stop whining now, hehe.

  304. DarkHorseSD says:


    Lets just say I recently met one of the profiles of Internet age 30 that re logs in over and over to stay at the search top and she was 50.

    She also can’t meet men in NYC because half of them are JEWS and half are something I don’t remember and so all are no good.

    Many many meets are well over 4 yrs off. 10 is very common. But with experience, you know the average lie sizes and don’t get shocked or upset.

  305. SugarySpicey says:

    Kma – this guy has some weird Schtick that probably has nothing to do with you. That said, if you’re. 36, don’t put your age below. 34, it will keep the ageist weirdos away. And, ALWAYS come clean about any profile. “Edits” before a first meet so that you avoid this type of awkwardness in the future.

    I had an SD after our first date message to tell me how much he liked me but that he really prefers strippers with double D’s. My pics make it clear that I’m a tiny little woman with a very petite frame and a college education. He knew he wanted something I don’t offer before we met, so he shouldn’t have wasted our time.

    Some men on this site try to make up for their loser high school years by using their money to abuse women they could never get before .

    P.S. – he isn’t “paying you” he’s seducing you, money just happens to be very seductive.

  306. KmaSB says:

    Y’all must be in California…Is that where SA is based, btw?

  307. KmaSB says:

    Okay, DarkhorseSD..so, shaving off four years isn’t soooo bad, then? I’ve heard some women do say 10-15 years younger than they are…however, I haven’t looked at too many female profiles, so maybe I was misinformed?

  308. DorkyGuy says:

    It’s a year if you convert from Canadian. Congrats!

  309. KmaSB says:

    Do you guys think many men lie about their age on SA? I’ve noticed some do…or, they look like they do. I noticed one poster said to never lie about age…is it worse for the men or women to lie about age on there? How about saying you are 5 years younger, versus 10? I met a man last year who said he was ten years younger…and the guy I met today looked older than 47…even though he made a comment about looking young for his age, I would have guessed he was 52-56.

  310. DarkHorseSD says:

    I’m searching for a girl who only shaves 4 years.

    And Onyx’s domestic should she get thrown back into the river.

  311. sweetie says:

    Hahaha! That was funny. Well, now you have to make it to a year, BG. You just got put on the spot. 😉

  312. KmaSB says:

    Oh sorry…it’s late where I am at…congrats on 6 months…

  313. Beach_Girl says:

    KmaSB~ it’s only been 6 months not a year yet…

  314. KmaSB says:

    Congrats on not smoking for a year, Beach_Girl (:

  315. KmaSB says:

    I know. Thanks, Sweetie. I guess I got lucky last year, when I was on SA before…I found a few really good, ‘real’ and gentlemanly sugardaddies, so I guess I should not give up just yet(just joined again a week and a half ago). I was tempted to delete my profile, when I got home…

  316. Beach_Girl says:

    KmaSB~ totally agree, it does hurt the Ego! like I said, I know exactly what you are talking about, it happen to me too, but it was after a few conversations and we didn’t meet, at least I knew. You get wiser with time and search, you will find what you want also, it’s a 2 way street

    Dorky~ a lot of people lie, I don’t get why.. I rather be honest, or as honest as I can be.. I got caught with all the lies I’ve told in the past, I won’t do it again. 😀 but that’s me!!!

    And today, Nov 1st, it’s been 6 months since I stopped smoking 😀

  317. sweetie says:

    KmaSB, put it behind you and be glad you dodged a bullet. He’s not a SD, obviously. Now, chin up and back on hunting. There are good guys out there.

  318. KmaSB says:

    You are so right. I appreciate that. And yes, I totally get someone wanting exactly what they want, if they are paying…I just got especially humiliated because he kept on insisting that he ‘wanted me’ on the phone, right before our meeting and that ‘he was sure’. I was the one that kept saying we should meet first before he said such things, because initial chemistry could go either way. And again, he insisted he was sure of me. So, I guess I went into that lunch ‘thinking’ this guy must really want me, but I am going to decide if I want him…and before even asking what I think, he starts telling me I’m too old and in my 30’s, when he knew my age? It was unexpected…I would never date that guy in real world dating, so it was a big bruise to the ol’ ego. I just think a gentleman would have handled that better. I will not meet anyone again, when I get that negative vibe.

  319. DorkyGuy says:

    I honestly wonder how often these are lies:…. “I don’t have any STDs”. “I don’t do drugs”. “I am single”. “I never forget my birth control pill”. “Of course it’s your baby”.

    It is really scary how costly a little deceit can be.

  320. Beach_Girl says:

    KmaSB~ don’t feel bad, we all have gone threw stuff on SA, i’m an older SB too and sometimes they get to me too… but it’s ok, they pay for what they want… He’s just an asshole, you will find better! don’t let it get to you, I know sometimes it’s harder but some people like to be mean just to see your reactions, I know from experience it’s hard, but you get over it. Don’t give it more energy than it deserves, you are more than that!
    And Always follow your gut, always… if it doesn’t feel right, say no! no matter what he pretends to offer, it’s not worth it!

  321. KmaSB says:

    Thank you, for reading and posting a reply, Beach_girl…you are so right– I should have went with my gut, and not bothered going. And I know his opinion should not matter…but he knew I was in my 30’s…and he even said my pics looked like me, then he made me feel so awkward by sitting, in silence, like he wanted me to feel weird, and then told me he was fine with paying for a 20 something, but ‘just came to realize, during our date’, that he cannot not pay for a 30 something and I’m not his type. It made me feel bad…even though I know it should not. I’ve never had that happen before..so humiliating…

  322. Beach_Girl says:

    KmaSB~ new posts are moderated for a bit, so we don’t always see them right away.
    This is the reason why I do coffee for the first date, short and sweet! Don’t feel bad, you disclosed you were 4 years older, and you know what, who cares if he doesn’t believe you about having younger SDs, his opinion shouldn’t bother you!
    You should always go with your gut! Always… I had a bad feeling once about someone and went to diner… it was the longest diner of my life! He was drunk before the salad course arrived! yep, it was bad, then he proclaimed his love to me blah blah… I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of there.
    You should look at the top of this blog, on the right hand side, there is a Sugar Dating Tips place with posts about what to do, what questions to ask etc. The site has lots of wanna be’s … it’s for you to screen relentlessly
    Welcome to blog 😀

  323. KmaSB says:

    Sorry I posted that long letter up there…I guess this is a blog for shorter questions and remarks…

  324. Beach_Girl says:

    Sweetie~ ah… yes, close to campus … no kids…

  325. sweetie says:

    No dorm, my own place, just no kids in this neighborhood, too close to campus.

  326. Beach_Girl says:

    lol I meant to say… lying about being a real SD and he’s a fake is a deal breaker lol… not being a sd is a deal breaker lol…

  327. Beach_Girl says:

    Oh you’re in a dorm? so Big Monsters 😛 lol…
    I only have juice cans left. yes, I give out juice and full size chocolate bars.. who wants a little tiny chocolate bar? hey then the kids are out there walking around they get thirsty! I know I did when I was little 😀
    I love Halloween 😀

  328. Beach_Girl says:

    To answer the questions:

    What is the biggest lie you ever told to get what you want? Lied to get out of getting a ticket from the cops 😀 , Sex was amazing lol… yep said that lol

    When is a lie or misrepresentation not a dealbreaker? I think if I figure out you lied, it’s not good… I will always think and try and see if it’s the truth. Why lie, it always comes back and bits you in the ass…
    Misrepresentation, a total deal breaker, not about a couple of years off your age, but height, being a real SD etc… deal breaker…

  329. sweetie says:

    Hi, Beach! No little monsters here, however I ate half a bag of milky ways by myself… feeling particularly sweetie right now. :)

  330. Beach_Girl says:

    Dash~ Hi, How are things going ?

    Happy Halloween Sugars, hope you all ghosts, goblins and monsters at your doors… here they were so totally cute! I scared a few Muahahahah!!!

  331. SugarySpicey says:

    Zack – big difference between writing a novel and selling enough of said novel to live off the royalties!

    Welcome back Dash, your penis is perfect!

  332. onyx_percula says:

    @ DarkHorseSD — I think you just about nailed the whole subject!

    The most truthful thing a SB ever told… “You should always take a grain of salt with anything anyone says that you are paying money, or wants you to pay them money, especially a woman.”

  333. flyr says:

    Sugar Spicy (aka spicy sugar ) wrote “”My biggest sugar lie, “Oh God I’m gonna cum so hard!” Lol””

    Extensive research (at taxpayer expense) has shown that when compared with the size of the immediately impending O vocabulary is inversely related to the intensity of the O . However, volume is an independent variable and often affected by economic considerations

  334. sweetie says:

    Look who’s back! Happy to you, too, Dash.

  335. Neph says:

    I don’t like my SD in my personal life, ei.. my income and family. But I’m pretty up front about that being my secret.
    Worst lie, I’d have to say ” Your D is so good!”

  336. Dashel says:

    “Third: “Your penis is absolutely beautiful. Perfect!””

    You girls lie about that? Damn it. Whatever, mine really is beautiful. 😉

    Happy Halloween sugar people.

  337. Zack says:

    If you’re so smart And you wrote a book, just live off the royalties. 😛

    Ok, Ok….when do you expect to hear back?

  338. sweetie says:

    Good job, Sugary!

  339. SugarySpicey says:

    Sweetie – This new field is artistic, sexy, kinda glamorous, and international – they love it. The book adds to my cache. Lol

  340. SugarySpicey says:

    It IS BS! And he knows it. It isn’t trash! It has received real recognition! But he refuses to discuss it. He wouldn’t even watch the press it received, just used it as a reason to neutralize me.

    Oh well, he basically let me write my own recommendation that our director of HR will use, so this is just a stepping stone. Post a message to: http://sugarmytips.wordpress.com/reloading/ and I’ll get you a link to the book.

  341. sweetie says:

    Also, does your new employer know about your book? If yes, what did he say about it, if not, how do you think he’ll react when he finds out?

  342. sweetie says:

    Exactly what I thought, Sugary. What a bunch of bs. It’s ok, there’s greener grass out there. Oh, I want to read your book.

  343. SugarySpicey says:

    A slut is a woman who has sex like a man!

  344. SugarySpicey says:

    No, Sweetie – I know he wouldn’t have. I work in a field of artists and writers. If a man I worked with wrote a novel full of graphic violence-porn nobody would have said a thing. But a woman (an attractive one at that) writes about sex, gets some national acclaim so you can’t ignore it, and she has to go!

    He sent the world’s nicest reference to this new job though because he recognizes the hypocrisy and wants to ensure I play nice in the media. It’s annoying, but men are hypocrites when it comes to sexuality. That’s just the plain ass truth!

  345. sweetie says:

    Sugary, you think your boss would have felt the same about letting you go because of your book had you been a man?

  346. KmaSB says:

    Sorry for the long post, typos and grammar…I posted that before I reviewed it…

  347. KmaSB says:

    Hello, I have never posted before but have read these blogs a lot and noticed good advice. Something similar to this topics actually happened today. I rejoined SA about two weeks ago and have met two men, so far. The first was a creepy man who looked nothing like his pics, and the second one(I had that weird guy feeling not to meet him but went anyway today..wish I had not). Anyway, just to preface this, I had two sugardaddys last year…both were a little younger than me(one by three years, then one by two). I also had an older sugar daddy at one point, but he was very gentlemanly(and looked very young for his age)..just like the younger two were. Well, in regards to this article, I do shave four years off my age(I am 36, but can pass for 30…actually, I have gotten 24-30, but that is a subjective, I suppose). I put 32 on my profile, instead of 36 because I tend to get more men a little bit closer to my age, when I do that. However, I usually tell them pretty quickly my true age, or at least by the first meet. In the situation with the man I met today…he has been emailing and wanting to talk, a lot, up until we finally met. He would email or text all the time to talk. We spoke once, about a week ago, but in had a lot going on. Anyway, he acted a little offended that I did not talk more, on the phone. I explained that I prefer to meet in-person, so that we can decide if there is chemistry before we start talking all the Tim, and it be a waste, if there is no attraction. He explained today that he was ‘sure of me’ and knew he wanted an arrangement. I kept telling him to wait until we met today, but he was pushy about me naming a price and the ‘terms’. I told him to name first, and he did…it was lower than what I wanted but said we could still meet, and see what happens…and he once again kept saying how he was ‘sure’ of men well, fast forward to our meet today…he is older looking than his pics, so I am disappointed, but figure I would be nice as he drove a long way, so we could at least enjoy a meal and a little talk. I probably would not have gone into an arrangement with him, anyway, but I try to get to know someone a little…he seemed happy at first, but kept asking me to take my sunglasses off to see my eyes. Then, he kept mentioning how all men wanted women in their twenties, no matter their age, and the ones that do not…do not have the ‘balls’. I then told him that is not ‘always’ true. He seemed a little quiet, but he acted a bit strange. I told him my true age and he acted ‘mad’ a little. He also kept trying to get my last name and seemed weird bc I had changed my screen name once. He then started just staring at me and being really quiet, as if he was trying to make me feel uncomfortable in the silence. I told him that it was okay, was there a problem, then he started to tell me how he was sorry, but he could not see a woman of, ‘my age’. I was not feeling it either as he looked older than he stated…but I actually do look like my pics..or so I am told. And he knew I was in my 30’s? He is the one that kept insisting to meet as he was so ‘sure’ of me. He then went on to tell me that he would date someone my age ‘for free’ but not feel like he would pay money. What the heck! I get that men want someone younger but this man knew my age and my pics are from two weeks ago and pretty accurate. And he knew I was in my 30’s…. He hardly spoke at our meeting today after I told him I didn’t want the men I dated, to be my fathers age…and he especially acted weird, after I told him my real age to be honest), yet he wouldn’t stop trying to contact me before we met. It felt like he was getting some amusement from the situation…

    Was I wrong to lie about my age by four years? He insinuated I wasn’t an honest person…and also made some snide remarks about my not telling him my ‘real name’ right away…but shouldn’t you be careful about that on SA, at first? Any thoughts? Unless I look like a troll and nothing like my pics, then why did he waste my time…oh yes, I also mentioned to him that my last two sugardaddies were younger than me, by a small amount…and he acted as if he did not believe me and said, ‘yeah right.’

  348. DarkHorseSD says:

    I think the most common thing is to not give information that has not been asked for, but is clearly pertinent or typically expected. That morphs into parsing the questions and statements. There is also declining to answer by either ignoring the question (ie. continuing another topic) or directly declining.

    There is leading on by taking advantage of another’s mindset while not actually giving what they thought.

  349. SugarySpicey says:

    Men who lie about being sugar daddies offering arrangements while really just looking for bareback sex with women who are too young/attractive for them.

    Women who lie about their psycho ex BF and sad luck past in order to bring out the white knight in a man.

    My biggest sugar lie, “Oh God I’m gonna cum so hard!” Lol

  350. flyr says:

    My last allowance was $8,000; but his wife became suspicious

  351. Treasured says:

    What one never should lie about in a sugar world:

    1)Weight/dress size.
    3)Income level

    All of those easy to spot 😀 And the only thing worse than being a liar is being a bad liar 😀

  352. Treasured says:

    Biggest lie: “I am so in love with you! Never felt anything like this before…”
    Close second: “You are the only one… I do not even want to f*ck anyone else”.
    Third: “Your penis is absolutely beautiful. Perfect!”

    And, I am first 😀